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Thinking about your words allows you to organize your thoughts and prepare to say something meaningful. Especially if you're about to have an important conversation, make sure your words are organized so that you can say what you mean. Remember that your attitude and tone can communicate quite a lot. Keep your focus narrow and try not to get off topic. If you have trouble saying what you want to say, write down some bullet points to make sure you cover all you want to say. Take an intentional pause before speaking. Very often the instinct is to hurl headlong into a discussion. But purposefully putting in pauses and taking a moment to compose your thoughts before speaking will make it more likely your communication is clear, and your audience ready to listen. Having a person's attention means making sure they are listening and understanding the words you say. Make eye contact and check in to make sure they are listening. If the other person is distracted or in the middle of doing something else, either get their attention or try another time. If they seem distracted by other things, ask for their attention by saying, "I need to make sure you understand this" or, "I'd appreciate your full attention." If the person seems distracted, say that you'll talk later when they are more available. For example, if you need to talk to someone yet they're in the middle of something, let them know that you need to talk and want their attention. Avoid calling out or yelling at people to get attention--go up to them and speak face to face whenever possible. You might assume that people understand what you're saying or asking them to do. However, clarify anything that the person might be unsure about. For example, if you're giving directions, clarify anything the person might need to do as prep-work. You may over- or under-estimate the amount of knowledge or ability someone has, so it's best to ask. This is especially true if you're talking to someone from a different culture than yourself. You might assume they understand slang or other speech, but it doesn't hurt to ask. If someone looks confused, try explaining it better. Being courteous in your communication means being open, honest, and kind. You don't say anything that might be passive-aggressive, sarcastic, or jabbing toward or about the person you're talking to. Focus on being friendly and saying what you mean in a way that's easily understood. If you're interrupting other people, being rude, and disrespectful, you will not communicate effectively. Sarcasm can be easily misunderstood. While it may be meant to be humorous, saying the opposite of what you really mean can lead to misunderstandings. People may be confused to what you actually mean. Sarcasm can also inadvertently become mean. Check in with the person to make sure they have understood you. This can be as simple as saying, "Does that make sense?" or, "Do you have any questions?" This gives them the opportunity to voice any concerns or problems they have. This can help people feel comfortable to ask questions or seek clarification. If you're giving directions, ask them to be repeated back to you to ensure understanding. In some circumstances, it is appropriate to give a quick summary. For example: "So I just want to be clear: We're going to address the Garcia account first, then we will do a quick meeting on how to problem solve the communication issues. Got it?" Follow-up with the person you're communicating with to make sure you communicated clearly. For example, if you sent an email, send another asking, "How is everything going? Do you have any questions?" if you spoke to someone, ask them a day or two later, "Just checking in. Everything okay?" If you think you may have miscommunicated, use this time to communicate clearly and clear anything that may be confusing.
Think before you speak. Get their attention. Check your assumptions. Be courteous. Check for understanding. Follow up.