TASK DEFINITION: Categorize the comment on the basis of sexual explicitness. If the comment is sexually explicit output Yes, otherwise output No.
PROBLEM: thanks, man

SOLUTION: Yes

PROBLEM: This is the most infantile thing I have heard of in Portland.

It is a prize winner. It must earn a trophy for its outstanding contribution to the annals of this community's ignorant pettiness. If a not very bright 5th grade class mutinied and took over the elementary school, this is what they would cook up.

Sail on, ye little pirates. I'm off to dine at the Saffron Colonial.

SOLUTION: Yes

PROBLEM: "Anybody who can kiss that many asses, that quickly, is so primed for success in the American workplace that they don't need your crappy restaurant job."

^This.

Also, having been both the chatty person and the languishing-in-line-behind-the-chatty-person person, I think the best thing to do is smile and get over it.

SOLUTION:
Yes