Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: What does it say about a meal for which you, by yourself, have paid $215 (after gratuity) when the most exciting part was the discovery of a new hand-drying technology? While I cannot recommend the actual restaurant, should you accidentally visit B&B Ristorante in Las Vegas, you really MUST try the amazing Veltia hand-drying machine in the bathroom. To say I was disappointed with the food is like saying you were disappointed when you walked in on your mom and me trying to conceive your new baby sister (surprise!). Yes, the emotions under discussion are roughly analogous, but they're not really comparable. In my historic review of Lupa I said Mr. Batali was a wizard because that restaurant and Babbo, two of Batali's New York joints, are made not of brick and mortar but of the Platonic ideal of Italian restaurants coalesced into tangible shape and form. Considering how much I love those places I had to find a way to reconcile the crappy impression left on me by B&B. And I did. Here's my theory: In 2006 a disgraced, leprous chef approached Mario Batali after spiking the chubby ginger Gandalf's drink and stabbing him with a heroin syringe. "Mr. Batali, I have a business proposition for you," our villain said as the drugs raced through Batali's veins. "I'm one with the universe! Time has no meaning!" Batali said. Special note for kids: intravenous drugs act with almost instantaneous speed. You're welcome. Sensing an opportunity, the asshole wannabe chef said, "This is the Lord, Mr. Batali, and I have a business proposition." "Give unto God what is God's, unto Caesar what is Caesar's! What would you have me do, Lord, on this my road to Damascus!" Heroin. What a drug. The antagonist continued, "I want to make a restaurant with mediocre food, but it's prepared elaborately and attached to an exorbitant fee, so people won't know any better!" "Lord, I made Otto and Lupa and Babbo," Batali said. "My 'strants kick ass as a rule, I really wouldn't feel comfortable--" "THOU WILT DO AS THY GOD COMMANDS!" said the son of a bitch. And so B&B Ristorante was born, the child of blasphemy and lies. I had no way of knowing this when I walked into that den of woe one fateful Sunday night. "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate," the waitress said as we took our seats. There would be no debate over the menu. I looked my different tasting menu options and ordered the "regional" list with the attached wine pairing in order to have the widest range of savory experiences. The first layer of our meal was the Georgia White Shrimp Spiedino. Shrimp arrive on wooden skewers over a mat of veggies. The shrimp was tasty but laden with salt. The texture was ideal, and I liked that the arthropodic flesh had a flavor that subtly changed as it passed over the palate. Still, too salty is too salty. The Cavatelli with Rabbit all'Ischitana tasted like store bought pasta with shredded chicken. Boring. Ditto the Maccarona with Ragu Napolitana. Things were getting ominous. Then the entertainment arrived when the Braciole del Portinaio with Eggplant "Marinara" numbed the mouths of two of our party members. Right. Just so you know the reason "marinara" is in quotes is because they make it with lidocaine (not a traditional ingredient in a marinara). At least the mad harlequin calling the shots in the kitchen was consistent: the braciole was way too salty. I don't remember the Calcagno a Crosta Liscia, so I guess it was made of yawns. The calcagno was followed by a micro serving of Chocolate Salumi with House Canned Apricots. I really liked the apricot bit. I scarfed it down and lamented that it had been served with hard cheese and adorable apple slices. No matter how cute your apple slices are, if any part of my meal resembles something my mom would put in my lunchbox as a six-year-old, you need to return to the kitchen and a.) light yourself on fire, Buddhist monk style b.) apologize to me and c.) revise your menu. Not necessarily in that order. I want to take time out of my black fuming to mention the wine that was served with the Salumi. The Cascina Ca'Rossa "Birbet" was a delight thing to consume . I think one of my dinner mates said it best: "If I met a girl and she smelled like this I would marry her." Apparently the B&B staff heard my request for an apology because the next bit, the Honey Semifreddo with Huckleberries was a dessert masterpiece. No word on whether there's a smoldering corpse in the kitchen, but it was a noble attempt at an apology. The Semifreddo had a delicate sweetness that perfectly matched the tartness of the huckleberries adorning it. N.b. the above passages are not all negative. This meal had high points, and besides the braciole none of my food was bad so much as mediocre. Fuck that noise. When I drop two bills the dead better walk and Amaterasu herself better serve my meal. Between the price and the attachment of Mario Batali's name there is no excuse for the meal I ate at B&B Ristorante.

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: Did not love this place. We were so excited when our MLife points allowed a $96.00 per night Spa Suite here in August. We were dying to go to the pool here and we love all the restaurants so were were pumped. well... The room was average--it was very dark due to one small window that overlloed the back of the hotel. The "spa" was just an oversized bathtub with jets. My hubby and I could not fit comfortably in it together (we are not big people). The bed was uncomfortable and the a/c cycled on and off all night and was very noisy. I didn't sleep for 3 days. The pool was OK but it was VERY crowded. The first night we were there we went to the pool at 5 pm expecting to have about 2 hours but AFTER we went in we were told they were closing early for a special event and we had about 20 minutes. The room had a refrigerator but it was stocked and you could not remove anything or you would be immediately charged for it. We wanted to up some stuff in it but we could not. Much better bang for your buck if you stay in a spa suite at the Monte Carlo.

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: So dissapointed. The negitive: Bland tortilla chips, carne asada torta served without beans and very tough meat. How they made guacamole lacking in avocado is beyond me but it was stuffed with so much tomato and other vegetables it was barely green! The positive: The counter guy was nice enough and the dining room was clean and they DO cook in front of you. I'm really not sure I could bring myself to go back in there. The food just kind of made me mad. It could be so much better.

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?
An example of an negative review: Horrible! Look them up on bbb .many reports to them. Never again will I use them. Poor communication and they never follow up. Easy to call and get appt's, never follow through with promises.