INPUT ARTICLE: Article: Boundaries are important to help you build a relationship with your parents that's manageable for you. Emotionally distant parents may play mind games or duck in and out of your life. Let your parents know what behaviors are not acceptable. Set boundaries in the moment when your parents do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. For example, if your parents invite you to a holiday event at the last minute, let them know you can't make it and that late invitations don't work for you. Say something like, "I appreciate you inviting me to Christmas, but I need you to send me these invitations sooner. I'm sorry, but I've already made other plans." Emotionally distant people are prone to manipulating others. Try to catch moments when your parents are being manipulative. If you catch your parents playing games with you, disengage immediately. Your parents may guilt you, make accusations, compare you to others, or engage in other behaviors to make you feel like their distance is your fault. Watch out for these kinds of behaviors. For example, say your parent suddenly starts calling you every day after ignoring you for months. When you're unable to take all their calls, they accuse you of not valuing the relationship. Refuse to respond to these accusations as they're a form of manipulation. It can be easy to get over-involved in drama caused by emotionally distant parents. If you find yourself exhausted by your parents, focus on what you have going on. Spend time with your friends, pursue your hobbies, and focus on your career and other relationships. Your parents do not have to define your happiness. While it's important to try to disengage from emotionally distant parents, remember it's okay to feel sad, frustrated, or angry. Do not always try to push away emotions. If your parents hurt your feelings, do something like vent to a friend, journal about how you're feeling, or take a long walk to help yourself process. While acknowledging emotions is important, you do not have to linger on them. Let yourself feel what you're feeling, but try to focus on other things after letting out your emotions. You will never completely stop caring about your relationship with your parents. However, you can learn to gradually care less over time. Focus on building relationships with people who support you in return rather than seeking your parents' approval.

SUMMARY: Set boundaries. Recognize games and manipulation. Stay present in your own life. Do not ignore your emotions. Take steps to care less.

INPUT ARTICLE: Article: When you begin having the conversation, phrasing is very important. It's easy to accidentally come off like you're blaming or judging the other person. Proper phrasing can help the conversation go smoother. Avoid statements that start with "you" as this comes off as you forcing external judgment on the situation. Instead, phrase everything in terms of "I" and tie it back in to how your feelings affect your ability to function in the relationship. For example, instead of saying "You don't let me spend weekends just with my friends," say something like, "I like to sometimes just go out with friends Friday nights, and if I was able to do that more often I'd be happier when I came home to you." Avoid harsh language in general. Words like "clingy" or "needy" can come off as judgmental. If you feel your boyfriend wants too much of your time, instead say something like, "I feel like it's hard to meet all your needs all the time, and I don't have energy for myself when we spend all our time together." Be transparent. Talk about what you discovered while reflecting on the relationship and yourself during your talk. Saying you need space can potentially make your boyfriend feel very insecure, so focus on how the issue is about you and your needs and has nothing to do with how you feel about him. A relationship is a two way street. If your boyfriend has different ideas of what constitutes healthy space than you, the two of you need to address this together. You should listen to how he responds to what you're saying. Your boyfriend's needs and desires are as valuable as your own, so treat them as such. Remember this as you have the conversation. This is not an issue of one party being right and the other being wrong. It's an issue of differing personal boundaries. If you don't understand, ask for clarification. Something like, "Why do you feel that way?" can really help you better understand your partner's needs. At the end of the talk, reinforce your enthusiasm for the relationship so things do not end on a bad note. Say something like, "Even though I need alone time on occasion, I really do love spending time with you and want to be with you." It's a good idea to, throughout the talk, throw in positive statements and sentiments. Like, if you discuss spending more nights at your own place, follow up with something like, "Even though I really do love waking up next to you in the morning." This can help the conversation sting less for your boyfriend.

SUMMARY:
Use your language carefully. Listen to your boyfriend's needs as well. Reinforce the positive.