You can figure this out by picking lots, rolling a pair of dice, guessing numbers, or simply by age. For example, the youngest person could hold the ball first. Don't get too worked up over who gets to go first. Sometimes, it's actually better to go last, because then you'll have a chance to get to the really good gifts! Make the game more challenging by having the players wear gloves or mittens. The ball holder could also wear a blindfold. You really need a set of dice for this game because the entire goal is to roll a set of 2 matching numbers in order to pass the ball. If you can't get a pair of dice, then use just 1 die and pick a number to be the passing number. For example, if you have just 1 die, then you could settle on 6 for being the passing number. Don't blindfold the dice roller! They need to see what they are rolling, after all! This needs to happen at the same time. The goal for the ball holder is to unroll as many layers on the ball as possible until the person with the dice rolls a set of matching numbers. For example, the person with the dice can roll a set of 1s, or a set of 2, or a set of 3s, and so forth. If you're using just 1 die, then keep rolling it until you hit the passing number you settled on. This game will probably have several rounds, so consider giving the ball holder a basket or a goodie bag to store all of their items in. If you used multiple sheets of plastic wrap per item layer, have the ball holder crumple them up and set them aside. The person who just finished rolling the dice should now have the ball, while the person to their right should now have the dice. If you used 1 continuous sheet of plastic wrap for the ball, you might want to cut or tear it off at some point. This way, it won't get in the way. You get to keep whatever gifts you unwrapped. The faster you unwrap, the more gifts you'll get!

Summary: Gather in a circle and decide who gets to hold the ball first. Give a pair of dice to the right of the ball holder. Have the person unwrap the ball while the person tries to roll doubles. Allow the ball holder to gather their unwrapped items. Pass the ball and the dice to the right. Repeat the process until you reach the middle of the ball.

The relationship is in trouble if you're unhappy in the current circumstances and believe that only some hypothetical change will fix the relationship. Think back over conversations that you and your partner have had in the last few months. The relationship may be based only on hypothetical improvements if you've said things like: "If we move in together, I think our problems will disappear." "Once we get married, I'm sure that we'll fight less and agree more." "Once we have a baby together, our relationship will be much stronger." This type of meritless talk about future improvements signals that a relationship is on its last legs. However, there are many instances in which you and your partner can discuss relationship problems and make substantial changes. For example, you could make the decision to attend couple's counseling together to help improve communication problems in the relationship. As long-term relationships become more complex, people often find that they and their partner have incompatible long-term goals and needs. Individuals in a relationship need to grow and evolve together. If you and your partner have incompatible goalsthat are too important to compromise onyou may need to end the relationship. Mutually exclusive needs and goals include: Substantially different sexual appetites or desires. Incompatible career or family-raising expectations. How financial resources should be saved and spent. Ask yourself if you'll still find the relationship pleasant and viable in a few years. Of course, it's difficult to predict how you'll feel in the future. But, if you often feel bored with your partner, or feel like you're not growing and changing together as people, this may be a sign that the relationship is stagnant. As healthy relationships grow, initial feelings of excitement and infatuation evolve into abiding commitment and love. However, even after a few years, your relationship should still feel fun and engaging. There's no shame in admitting that a healthy, fun relationship has run its course and is now stagnant or boring. However, the healthy step to take is to end the relationship, rather than persisting in a dead relationship.

Summary: End the relationship if you think that it will with some imagined changes. Compare your needs and those of your partner. Determine if the relationship has a future.

Guilt is a useful emotion when it is helping us grow and learn from our behavior that has been offensive or hurtful to ourselves or others. When guilt arises from hurting another or having a negative impact that could have been prevented, we are being signaled to change that behavior (or else risk the consequences). This guilt, "proportionate" guilt can be a guide for redirecting behavior and adjusting our sense of what's acceptable and what isn't. For example, if your guilt is from spreading rumors about a co-worker so that you will get a promotion in their place, you'll feel proportionate guilt. If you simply got this promotion for being more qualified and feel guilty anyway, then you are dealing with disproportionate guilt. Forgiving oneself, like forgiving another, can be a difficult process. Steps that are important in the process of self-forgiveness include: Acknowledgement of the actual hurt caused without exaggerating or minimizing what happened. Addressing the degree to which you were responsible for this harm there may have been something you could have done differently, but you may not be responsible for everything. Overestimating your responsibility can prolong guilt longer than necessary. Understanding your state of mind at the time of the harmful action(s) Dialogue with the other(s) who were negatively impacted by your actions. A heartfelt apology can go a long way. It is important that you and the other(s) know that you are aware of the damage done and are clear on what actions will be taken (if any) over and above apologizing. Staying guilty instead of making necessary repairs or amends is how we punish ourselves. Unfortunately, this behavior will only keep you feeling too ashamed to take the action that can really help. Making restorative changes means swallowing your pride and trusting that others will be grateful for your work resolving the source of guilt. If apologizing is how you'll make amends, try to avoid justifying what you did or pointing out the parts of the situation that you were not responsible for. Simply recognize the others' pain without the distraction of extra explanations or attempts to revisit the details of the situation. It may be much easier to apologize for an offhanded remark that caused some pain. But when the behavior has spanned some time, say you ignored your partner's distress about your relationship for years, it will take more honesty and humility. Writing journal entries about the details, feelings, and memories of the situation can help you learn about yourself and your actions. Working to improve your behavior in the future is a great way to relieve guilt. Your entries might answer questions like the following: How did you feel about yourself and everyone involved leading up to, during, and after the situation? What were your needs at that time, and were they being met? If not, why not? Did you have motives for this action? What or who was the catalyst for this behavior? What are the standards of judgment in this situation? Are they your own values, your parents', your friends', your spouse's, or coming from an institution like the law? Are these appropriate standards of judgment, and if so, how do you know? We know that it's impossible to change the past. So, after spending time learning from your actions and making amends and repairs wherever possible, it is important not to dwell for too long. Remind yourself that the sooner you are done feeling guilty, the sooner you can bring increased focus to other, more current parts of your life. Another benefit of using a journal to deal with guilt is being able to keep track of your feelings to show yourself how quickly guilt can diminish once we attend to it. Especially important is making note of how making amends and repairing the situation has changed them. This will help you take pride in your progress and in the legitimate ways that you have used guilt positively.
Summary: Recognize the kind of guilt you have and its purpose. Forgive yourself. Make amends or changes as soon as possible. Start a journal. Accept you did something wrong, but move on.