Q: Every state has its own laws regarding the dissolution of marriage. Once you have decided what method of divorce is best for your situation, you should educate yourself on the requirements for divorce in your state. You can locate state-specific divorce laws at: http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/divorce-in-your-state-31013.html. Some questions that you should consider when preparing for divorce are: On what grounds can I file for divorce? Some states have "no fault" divorce, which means that you do not have to prove that either spouse did something wrong. Some spouses may seek a divorce based on fault, which can include cruelty, adultery, desertion or confinement to prison. How will my property be divided? Depending on the state in which you live, your property may be divided as community property/separate property or through equitable division. In community property states, all property accumulated during the marriage is considered marital property and is divided evenly. If you owned property before the marriage that property is considered separate property and it is not subject to division. If you live in an equitable division state, a judge will try to decide what is fair and may not divide the property evenly. How is child custody and child support handled. The guiding principle in all states regarding custody is a determination of what is in the best interest of the child. Most states have resources for parents to help them develop a custody agreement and parenting plan. Links to these resource can be found at: http://family.findlaw.com/child-custody/child-custody-and-visitation-information-by-state.html A large part of a divorce proceeding deals with the division or marital property. When preparing to file for divorce, you should gather the following financial documents: Federal and State income taxes for the previous five years. Paystubs and/or payroll statements. Documents concerning your retirement accounts, such as 401(k) plans, annuities, IRAs or other pension or retirement information. All insurance policies, including life, auto, health, and home. Deeds for property or contracts for leases. Any documents showing debt, including mortgage statements, student loan debt, loans, or credit card statements. Documents showing all bank accounts, including check books and bank statements. Documents showing household expenses, such as rent, utilities, food and clothing Household budget information. If you own a business, you should also gather all business documents detailing profit and loss. Most states have downloadable forms on their state court websites to simplify the divorce process. You can locate divorce forms for your state in the following ways: Conduct an internet search with the name of your state and "divorce forms." Search state court websites for divorce forms. You can visit individual state-specific court websites by locating your state on the following website http://www.ncsc.org/Information-and-Resources/Browse-by-State/State-Court-Websites.aspx, and clicking on the link for your state. Once you are on the state website, use the search window to search for "divorce forms." Call the court clerk. If you are unable to locate the forms online, contact the court clerk and ask them where you can find the specific forms. You can find the contact information for state-specific courts using the link above. Even if you choose to handle the majority of the divorce yourself, it is highly recommended that you at least hire an attorney to review any agreements pertaining to the divorce. As discussed above, you can locate an experienced family law attorney by a personal recommendation or by using state bar association's attorney referral resources.
A: Research the divorce laws in your state. Gather financial documents. Locate divorce forms for your state. Retain an attorney for specific tasks.

Q: A therapist can be helpful whether or not your vaginismus is caused by emotional or psychological issues. This is because awareness of the condition itself often produces fear and anxiety before intercourse, starting a vicious cycle that exacerbates symptoms. Feelings of depression, isolation, and lower self-esteem are also common effects of the stigma of sexual dysfunction. Treatment outcomes are much more positive when the woman and her sexual partner are motivated, cooperative, and resolve to lessen relationship conflicts. So, a couple's psychological evaluation is a great beginning to treatment. If your vaginismus is connected to anxiety issues or past sexual trauma, a therapist can help you deal with these issues so you can start to move forward. One particular type of therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), can be especially helpful to some women. CBT focuses on the relationship between thoughts and behaviors, and a cognitive behavioral therapist can help you change your thoughts and behaviors regarding avoidance of sexual intercourse. One treatment for vaginismus is called exposure therapy, or flooding, and it involves gradual desensitization to penetration. Therapist-aided exposure to penetration is an effective treatment, even for women with lifelong vaginismus. The techniques for exposure usually involve vaginal penetration exercises using dilators. This is the same method used for self-treatment, with the addition of a guide who can help you continue on your own with confidence and success. Ask your doctor to refer you to a physical therapist who has experience dealing with vaginismus and other forms of female sexual dysfunction. Because the muscles of the pelvic floor play such a major role in vaginismus, physical therapy is one of the best treatment options. Your physical therapist might: teach you breathing and relaxation techniques help you learn pelvic floor muscle contraction to control your pelvic floor muscles Kegel exercises are designed to help you control the muscles of your pelvic floor. To do a Kegel exercise, you simply contract the muscles you would use to stop the flow of urine, hold for a few seconds, then relax. Aim to do about 20 contractions at a time, as many times a day as you can. Some doctors recommend doing Kegel exercises with a finger inserted into your vagina (you can work up to three fingers). Using your finger allows you to feel the muscle contracting in order to better control its movements. Your doctor may recommend vaginal dilators to use at home. These are cone-shaped instruments that are placed in the vagina. They get progressively larger, enabling the muscles of your vagina to stretch and become accustomed to penetration. To begin, bear down as you would when having a bowel movement. This helps enlarge the vaginal opening. Then, insert fingers (not the dilators yet) into your vagina, continuing to push or bear down. When you begin using the dilators, leave them in for 10 to 15 minutes. The vaginal muscles will become used to the pressure. If you have a spouse or partner, you may want to ask this person to help you insert the dilators. Women with vaginismus need to be patient and try treatment options before jumping into sexual intercourse. If you try to become sexually active right away, you may experience pain or discomfort, and this sets you up for a cycle of pain and anxiety that worsens vaginismus. It is vital that you have a patient, supportive partner. When you do try to have sex, go very slowly, use plenty of lubricant, and experiment to find the most comfortable positions. Doctors typically suggest that women hold the penetrative object and place it partially or completely in their vagina as they have done with vaginal dilators. This applies equally to penises, dildos, and vibrators.
A:
Try counseling. Ask about exposure therapy. Find a physical therapist. Do Kegel exercises. Consider at-home vaginal dilators. Take sexual activity very slowly.