Q:Build a movie plot around this: Who does Lynette confess she does not date? "I date. Just not vampires"
A:
Divorced, ex-rockabilly singer Lynette Hansen [Caroline Rhea] comes home from work tofind her 15-year old daughter Chelsea [Laura Vandervoot] on the phone with her boyfriend,instead of doing her homework. Thirteen-year old Adam [Matthew O'Leary] is entranced in "TheReturn of Count Krelski," and 8-year-old Taylor [Myles Jeffrey] is hiding behind thecouch. Ah, the joys of being a single Mom.As luck would have it, Adam's friend Duffy gets backstage passes tothe Headless Horsemen concert at Saturday night's Harvest Festival, thevery weekend that Adam is grounded for not writing his history essay andtrying to pass off some story from the Weekly Secret tabloid about vampirehunter Malachi Van Helsing. To make matters worse, Chelsea (who had a hotdate on Saturday night) is also grounded for smarting off. What to do? Thesolution is obvious--get Mom a date for Saturday night. Where to find adate for Mom with only one day to go? Again, the answer is simple. Matchher up with someone from the Personals column in the Weekly Secret. Thissounds like a good one: Continental gentleman, handsome, debonair, suave.Enjoys long strolls beneath the full moon. Loves adventure, travel, wild animals,and women who long for romantic nights that will never end. Hates Italian food and turtlenecks. Wolfsbane@netherlink.pro.Adam sends Wolfsbane an email asking him to meet Mom at theFoodmaster at 8 pm. Now to get Mom there. Easy. Remind her how the familyused to have chocolate chip pancakes together every Saturday morning. Makeher feel guilty enough to go to the store for chocolate chips.OK. Got her to the store. Now to find Wolfsbane. No, it's not the guybuying spaghetti. No, it's not the guy buying the cake that says, "HappyAnniversary." Maybe it's the guy in the long overcoat with the pulled downhat who appears to be looking for someone? He certainly looks like aWolfsbane. Before Chelsea and Adam can link up with Wolfsbane, however,Lynette bumps carts with someone else--Dr Dimitri Dentatos [Charles Shaughnessy] from...