Input: OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive What would be an example of an positive review?

An example of an positive review: "Money AND Peripheral Vision! What a Stud!" The lot was a third full, not unheard of for a 4 PM weekday. I parked away from others beneath a tree in full bloom. Birds were on a nearby fence, waiting for me to leave so they could fly to the pretty tree and shit on my car. Bas-turds. As I walked towards the entrance I looked around. I was more or less in a corporate center. Buildings were everywhere, the people inside wearing nice clothes, talking on phones and stealing looks at office sluts. I strode through two sets of doors and searched for a stool. As always, my acute peripheral vision told me all eyes were upon me. What's more, said orbs continued to track me as I strolled around the establishment. Inwardly, I smiled and thanked my lucky stars for such incredible peripheral vision. What a gift! Not only has it helped me dodge death on countless occasions, it also attracts women left and right and drives them to the height of sexual frenzy. I wish I had a dime every time I was in bed with a lady who kept screaming, "OH MY GOD, MICHAEL! OH MY GOD! YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT!! MICHAEL, MICHAEL, MICHAELLLLLLL!!!!" Anyway, I found a stool ideally located near no one and sat. The blonde barmaid failed at trying to ignore me and watched as I fed 120 bucks into a video poker machine. She sidled over, suddenly interested in the event of perhaps getting a tip if I won. She asked what I would like to drink and I ordered water. "That's it?" "Yes." "Do you want bottled?" "No. In a glass with ice, please." She brought me my drink and I quickly managed to dwindle my money down to 40 bucks. But that's the price you pay when playing a $1 game with maximum bets. Each hand cost you 5 bucks. But no matter. Not today. Two hands later I nailed quad fours and a cute little payout of 400 bucks. I cashed out and dropped a twenty for Blondie after she laid my winnings before me. To celebrate, I ordered a Blue Moon and looked around. Very roomy, a few pool tables, a nice TV lounge and outdoor seating. Not too shabby a view from inside either. I liked the abundance of natural light. Decent sized bar with several screens showing news or sports, and plenty of seating at small tables or large. I ordered another beer and stared out the windows. A few more cars had arrived, and a few guys in suits and ties walked in. A party of five with two gals did too. Skirt 1 and Skirt 2 were dying for people to notice them like they had me but to no avail. Tsk-tsk, Skirties. I'd give you lessons on how to make an entrance but you don't look like apt pupils. Blondie came over and asked if I was hungry but I wasn't. Told her that, too. I also told her to take the twenty before I shoved it back into the machine. She smiled and said thank you. You're welcome, I'm sure. I pocketed my Ben Franklins and drained my beer. Back in the lot I saw some nice splotches on my car hood. Viscous white goo with brown swirls. What a treat. Thanks, birdies. Dicks. I idled from the lot and made my exit, but not before asking myself a simple question. Are you going to come back again, stud? I smiled. Yes, stud. I think I am.

Input: OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: Very small restaurant. Went for lunch and ordered a chicken salad and it was very bland. I may try this place again as most of the reviews on here are great...but the salad was definitely nothing special.

Input: OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: We went here with a big group, and i wasn't very impressed. The food was good, but not great - probably about 2-3 stars. My mom ordered a caesar salad with light dressing, and it came out with quite heavy dressing. Not too big of a deal.... but she sent it back and the waiter apologized and said he'd bring another. He did, but it was just as sopping in dressing. 3rd try? not so much. very disappointing. I had the special of the evening, canneloni di carne, which was OK, but nothing worth writing home about (and yet, ironically enough here I am writing about it...). The service was pretty good though, and we had an EXCELLENT mango sorbet covered in a white chocolate shell. Definitely the highlight. conclusion: not bad for a reasonably priced dinner with the family or something, but I wouldn't bring a date here...

Input: OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive What would be an example of an negative review?
An example of an negative review: It was our first time there with my fiance and the service was horrid. We heard nothing more than "do you know what you want" to take our order and "are you all finished" after. No hello, have you been here before, welcome anything like that. The food was great, but service ruined the night. Won't be back, ever. Too Many good Italian places with good service.