Article: Defend yourself verbally when attacked, provoked, or sidelined and take care of yourself when someone tries to put you down, box you in, or even hurt you physically. Don't just stand there smoldering; it's far better to speak your mind. Even if the end result doesn't change, you've demonstrated to yourself and others that you won't stand for disrespect. More often than not, a polite but firm clarification of the disrespectful comment or behavior will be enough to draw attention to the need for it to change, especially where there is an audience. For example: "Excuse me but I was next in line and I'm in just as much of a hurry as the person who pushed in." Avoid whispering, mumbling, or speaking too quickly. The tone of your voice and the speed of your delivery are an important part of clarifying what you want and how confident you're feeling. Naturally, the manner in which you defend yourself will depend on the situation and if someone is volatile, always put your safety first. You should never resort to outright aggression in the process of standing up for yourself. Being aggressive, or even violent, is counter-productive and will not win you any friends. Acting aggressively -- verbally or otherwise -- is like acting out your pain in full technicolor. It's not a constructive way to get what you want and will simply turn people against you. You are far more likely to achieve a positive result if you approach any issues as calmly and objectively as possible. You can still stand your ground and be firm and assertive without having to raise your voice or get angry. Be wary of taking passive aggressive responses toward people and situations. Passive aggressive responses are ones in which you begrudgingly do things against your will and end up filled with resentment and anger, hating people who "make" you feel this way, feeling depressed and helpless. This negatively affects your relationships and can take a huge toll on your physical and emotional health. Most of all, a passive-aggressive approach to life will never enable you to stand up for yourself. Another way of standing up for yourself is to take the negatives thrown at you and transform them into good things. In the process of turning attacks inside out to find the good, you'll often find that feelings of jealousy or insecurity are at the root of the attack. For example: If someone claims you're bossy, rather than letting it cause you to shrink some more, take this as evidence that you're a natural leader, able to manage people and projects well, and a proactive change agent. If someone claims you're shy, take it as a compliment that means you're not ready to jump on the latest bandwagon but like to reflect over the consequences first and then make up your mind. If someone says you're too sensitive or emotional, let this be a sign that you've got a big heart and aren't afraid to let everyone see it. Or maybe someone suggested you're not career-minded enough for you, that confirms you're living a stress-free life that will help you to live longer. No matter how hard you try to increase your confidence, there will be days when you feel that you're backsliding. Rather than seeing this as a defeat in your attempt to learn to stand up for yourself, see it for what it is a day or so where things went temporarily off-track before you feel better and bounce back. Some tricks to help the bounce-back process include: Fake it till you make it. Even if you don't feel confident, act as if you do. Be consistent in your approach. People will grow to expect that the person you are now is a person who stands up for himself. Expect some people to find your more assertive stance challenging. It can take time to reshape the patterns you've formerly established with people who used to walk all over you. In some cases, you'll find you no longer want to be a part of their lives; take it as it comes.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Defend yourself in a calm and reasonable manner. Don't be aggressive. Avoid being passive aggressive. Try to turn negatives into positives. Don't give up.