Q: Sarcasm in writing can be difficult to detect in text due to the absence of verbal tone, which is often used to convey sarcasm when speaking. If someone is being sarcastic in writing, he or she may add multiple letters to common words to indicate a sarcastic tone. A writer may use multiple letters to indicate an elongated syllable. In real life, if someone makes a statement you do not believe, you may respond by saying, "Right," but stretching out the word sarcastically. Therefore, a sarcastic use of the word "right" in text may be written as, "Riiiiight." There are other examples of words being stretched out misspelled to indicate sarcasm. Someone may sarcastically type, "Excuse me" in apology as, "Excuuuse meee." A person may also give a sarcastic, "Okay, then," as "Oooookaaay, then!" Hyperbolic language, usually marked by the use of intense adjectives, may be used to indicate sarcasm in writing. If someone's enthusiasm for a given subject seems unusually intense, that person may be being hyperbolic. This is often an indicator of sarcasm in text. Usually, in sarcastic writing, a writer will choose a more intense version of a common word to indicate hyperbole. This can point to sarcasm. For example, instead of saying, "The weather's been nice today," a sarcastic writer may write, "The weather's been fantastic today." As "fantastic" is a more intense adjective, its use may indicate sarcasm. Hyperbolic language is likely to indicate sarcasm if the adjective used seems to conflict with the situation. For example, say someone posts a Facebook status saying something like, "Got a D on my chemistry test and I feel like a genius!" It's unlikely someone would feel like a genius after receiving a poor grade. Therefore, you can reasonably assume this is sarcasm. You can also look for elongated letters alongside hyperbolic language. When speaking, someone may draw out hyperbolic intensifiers to indicate sarcasm. In text, someone may add letters to indicate this verbal tendency. For example, "I just pulled an all-nighter studying for Professor Mendez's algebra exam and I'm just feeling fantastic." World references or references to popular culture embedded in the text can indicate sarcasm. If you're unsure if a writer is being sarcastic, see if he or she uses any references. Use of references may very well indicate sarcasm if they're used in a way that feels off. For example, say someone is responding to another writer's political view in the comments section of a news article. That person may say something like, "Your response is about as tempered as a Tea Party rally." The Tea Party is a political organization known for its intense, sometimes aggressive rallies. Saying a response is "tempered" and then immediately comparing it to such a rally likely indicates sarcasm. The speaker may also ask a question that's obviously true to indicate sarcasm. For example, someone may ask an obvious question on a forum, to which the obvious answer is "Yes." A sarcastic speaker may respond with something like, "Could Moses count to 10?" Given Moses is known in the Bible as the bearer of the 10 Commandments, it's very likely he could count to 10. The answer to this question is also, obviously, yes. The writer is likely being sarcastic. Oftentimes, in sarcastic writing, certain words will be capitalized. This is to indicate a tone that may be used to indicate sarcasm when speaking. If a sentence contains capital words, it may very well be sarcastic. For example, say someone is disagreeing with another writer's point on a political forum. The writer may respond with something like, "Okay, THAT makes sense." The capitalized "that" indicates that, in a sentence, the word "that" would be spoken slightly louder than the rest of the sentence. Verbally, that would indicate sarcasm. Capital letters may be used in conjunction with other elements of sarcastic writing. For example, the speaker may say something like, "Okay, THAAAAT makes sense! FANTASTIC point." This could indicate sarcasm, mixed in with a hint of aggression. Oftentimes, sarcasm is used by a speaker who's angry or frustrated. If the writing feels otherwise aggressive, it's more likely to be sarcastic. It the writer is engaged in a heated argument, for example, you're more likely to find writing that is laced with sarcasm. Sarcasm has been used as a literary device, or a writing technique used to help get an idea across, for as long as people have been writing stories. Writers of books, screenplays and comedy sketches often employ sarcasm as a way to develop a character's personality. For example, the Game of Thrones character Tyrion Lannister is known for being witty and sarcastic. The following dialogue is dripping with his signature sarcasm: "No man threatens His Grace in the presence of the Kingsguard." Tyrion Lannister raised an eyebrow. "I am not threatening the king, ser, I am educating my nephew. Bronn, Timett, the next time Ser Boros opens his mouth, kill him." The dwarf smiled. "Now that was a threat, ser. See the difference?" Satire is similar to sarcasm in that it's a way of using humor to bring attention to foolishness or weakness. Satire is bigger in scale than sarcasm; an entire book, play or movie can be satirical, and satire is usually meant to make fun of social institutions, not just individuals. For example, George Orwell's Animal Farm is a satire of Soviet Communism. Parody is another literary device that is related to sarcasm. A parody is an imitation of a something that is meant to mock the original to comedic effect. For example, when Tina Fey appears as Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live, she's parodying Palin's way of dressing and speaking.
A: See if the writer adds letters to common words. Watch for hyperbole. Look at any references. Scan for capital letters. See if the writing feels otherwise aggressive. Detect sarcasm in literary works and other media.

Q: Rub in with a soft cloth. The wax must be even and smooth across the top. Try it again. If it plays, you're set. If not, retry.
A:
Get some melted wax from a normal candle. Gently pour the wax on the scratches. Wipe off the excess wax with a dampened cloth. Let the disk dry for about 5-10 minutes.