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Think about first meeting your spouse, your first date, when you got engaged, your wedding, and when your children were born, if you have any. Try to remember how you felt during these pivotal moments. Remind yourself that you and your partner have shared many wonderful moments, and there's a reason you've invested so much in each other. It's tough to rebuild a connection after years of monotony, stress, arguments, and everything else that comes with a marriage. Reminding yourself of your relationship's high points can help you focus on what you love about your spouse. The little things in life make a bigger impact than grand gestures, so show each other kindness every day. Pay each other compliments, write each other notes or emails, and do other small, random acts that show you care. For example, you could slip a note into their bag before they leave for work that says, "Have a fantastic day! I love you." You could let them know how nice they look, or do a chore they haven't gotten a chance to do. Try to schedule a date night every week, or as often as you can. To alleviate boredom, do something new and exciting each time. You could try out a new restaurant or cuisine, go to a concert, go hiking, or explore a new part of your city. You could also go on day trips or weekend getaways. If you have kids, ask your parents, in-laws, or a babysitter to watch them so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Tell your spouse you want to be open and honest with each other about your needs, wants, and desires. Let them know that they can trust you, and that they can share anything without fear of judgment. Say, "I'd like us to be honest about what we need from each other. I want to fulfill your emotional and physical needs, and we both need to let each other know how to be the best partner." It's scary to make yourself vulnerable and say, "I need you to tell me that you love me and find me attractive," or "I want to try something new in the bedroom." Having the courage to make yourselves vulnerable might be exactly what you both need to deepen your bond. It can be tough to rebuild a physical bond, so take it slow. Begin holding hands, hugging, and cuddling more often. As you grow more comfortable being physically intimate, work on touching each other, kissing and, eventually, having sex more often. Check in with your spouse to make sure they're comfortable. You might say, "Do you mind if I hold your hand?" while watching a movie, or ask if they want a back rub after a long day.
Remember your relationship's positive aspects. Perform small acts of kindness every day. Go on fun, exciting dates together. Open up about your physical and emotional needs. Try to become physically intimate little by little.