Article: Boundaries are important in a parent/child relationship. In order to become an independent adult, you need the space to make your own decisions and, sometimes, your own mistakes. Try to set clear boundaries with your parents regarding when you do and do not need their assistance. Most people, usually early on in middle school, crave some autonomy from their parents. Overprotective parents may have difficulties allowing you to have more freedom, because worrying about you is one of their primary ways of expressing that they care about you. Overprotection is often inadvertently a form of control. You need to make it clear to your parents that you want clearer, firmer boundaries. Let your parents know what is and is not appropriate. For example, you can tell them it's okay to be concerned about your physical wellbeing but that reminding you every day about the latest health scares is not helpful to your emotional well-being. You can tell them it's fine to want you to schedule a weekly phone call, but talking on the phone every day is a bit much. If you live away from home, sometimes limiting contact can be helpful. While it's great to have a relationship with your parents, if they tend to be overprotective you may need to shut them out a bit to reduce their anxiety. If you've moved out of your house, you do not have to tell your parents everything. It might be best not to mention the person you've just started dating or the party you're going to on Saturday night. If such conversations tend to result in unsolicited advice and an onslaught of questions, just tactfully omit certain details of your day-to-day life. Your parents may resist the lack of contact initially, but find ways to subtly get out of conversations. If your parents start pressing you for more details about your weekend, for example, give them a brief summary and then say something like, "But I can't talk too long. I've got to do laundry today." Oftentimes, overprotective parents react negatively to their children establishing boundaries. Your parents may resist your desire for autonomy. If they react negatively, try to avoid getting sucked into drama. If your parents are prone to dramatics, try to be firm if they take this out on you. If they try to pressure you to come back into the fold by going on about how much they worry, cut them off with something like, "I'm sure you'll worry less with time." Then, change the subject. Find a friend with whom you can talk over your frustrations. Venting can actually help you avoid any unnecessary drama. Expressing frustration to a third party who is less emotionally invested in the situation can allow you to purge negative thoughts so you do not end up blowing up at your parents. Your parents are unlikely to change overnight, especially if they're overprotective by nature. Understand there will be an adjustment period when establishing new boundaries and rules for contact. Try not to get too upset over slip-ups and misunderstandings. It may take a few months before your parents understand your need for space and adjust to your newfound independence. If you want to set boundaries with your parents, you need to learn what boundaries are appropriate given your age group. If you're in middle school, acceptable boundaries will be much different than if you're in high school or college. Remember, your parents want to set boundaries to protect you and help you grow. Oftentimes, out of control children or teens secretly crave more boundaries in order to feel secure in their homes. Try to understand that your parents are acting in your best interest when it comes to rules. If you're a preteen, it's not unreasonable for your parents to want to know where you are, who you're with, and what you're doing at all times. You should be willing to provide this information openly. However, as a preteen you likely have an increased need for privacy. It's okay to request that your parents, stay out of your room and don't go through your things, for instance. If you're a teenager, your parents will expect you'll want to be more independent. You're in the stages of becoming an adult and getting ready to move out of the house. It's natural you may want a later curfew and certain freedoms, like being able to take the car out alone. It's perfectly reasonably to make these requests of your parents. However, keep in mind arguing and fighting only causes an increase in stress for both you and your parents. Be respectful when requesting increased freedoms. If you find the discussion becoming heated, remove yourself and take some deep breaths. Once you've calmed down, you can bring it up again, but this time ask calmly what their reasons are. Strive for compromise and win-win situations. If you're starting college, your parents may struggle to let go. It can be frightening to watch your child enter the world as a young adult. It's okay to request that your parents not call you every day or ask you very personal questions, such as questions about your love life or your social life. However, having a weekly phone call with your parents can help ease their worries as they'll know you're okay.

What is a summary?
Make it clear when you do and do not need help. Limit contact when possible. Do not get sucked into negativity. Have patience. Learn what boundaries are appropriate.