Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: Eleven "great" filmmakers, eleven pieces of garbage. Eleven minutes each of sheer tedium, sophistry, condescension, self-indulgence. Treats for people of all nations. Yussef Chahine of Egypt giving a "hip hip hooray!" for terorism in his amateurish segment. Across the green line we have Amos Gitai of Israel, using his eleven minutes to show a terrorist act and focus on a jerky newscaster. Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu of Mexico concentrated on the Twin Towers but seemed to forget to turn on his camera. Sean Penn not knowing that there were no buildings within the shadow of the Trade Center on 9-11. Shohei Imamura of Japan ignoring the whole thing. Claude Lelouch focussing on a trivial and cliched love affair. Ken Loach of the UK focussing on Chile. Etc. etc.

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: A group of friends come face-to-face with a family of hideous cannibals whilst camping in the beautiful German countryside.

The 'mutant cannibal family' concept is almost as old as the hills that the inbred freaks often call home, so any director attempting to breath new life into the genre needs to come up with something pretty darn special in order to impress. With Barricade, Timo Rose tries to give the well-worn routine a Teutonic twist, by transplanting the action to The Black Forest and giving it the German low-budget splatter treatment. The result is a very bloody, but totally unoriginal effort that is made almost unwatchable thanks to some dreadful directorial decisionsin particular, the non-stop use of fancy filters and irritating editing techniques.

Had Timo Rose not opted to utilise every naff trick his editing software offered him, then Barricade might have been a reasonably entertaining gore-fest: his inexperienced cast do reasonably well; the bloody effects are suitably stomach churning; and there are one or two scares and even some well conceived creepy moments. All of this, however, is completely ruined by the awful camera-work, choppy editing, and overwhelming barrage of visual gimmickry used to give the film the distressed look that is so inexplicably popular with today's film-makers.

I give Barricade 3 out of 10 purely for the outlandish gore, which includes a nifty scene where a guy is forced to drink acid, loads of nasty wounds caused by a variety of sharp implements, and some pretty decent shotgun damage.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: Ok, at the beginning it looked like "Shrek" - the loner that is persistently followed by the comic relief. Then it evolves into something really compelling, as the gauntlet is set. And the result is an enjoyable movie, which has moments that I agree that are a little too dramatic for kids to watch (Manny's past, for example). The premise has been obviously worked for a long time, so that they can suceed in making a movie set with almost no different sets (only ice caps and rocks), and three characters. It's a good thing to know that they succeed in doing something emotional out of it. As I said, it can be tear-jerking at some times, so, kids, be warned. The real letdown is the animation. This wasn't so souped up like the toy story movies or shrek, and it shows. The humans are unrealistic, and we have seen better examples of CGI before. But don't let this stain the record: as a solo effort, "Ice Age" is commendable. And it will gather many fans, I have no doubt. Oh and yes, the moments with that small mouse are priceless, and show-stealing.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer:
I just saw this delightful Japanese feature film at the 5th Annual Roger Ebert Overlooked Film Festival in the historic Virginia Theatre in Champaign, Illinois.

Although this film, subtitled in English, has ballroom dancing as its heart, the film actually shows the world outside of Japan how the rigid structures of family, employment (salaryman), and recreation still exist in Modern day Japan.

Writer/director Suo Masauki [I follow Japanese custom of presenting the family name (last name) first and the given name (last)] uses the not so very popular theme of ballroom dancing to show the societal structure of Japan.

[Also, I shall not use the movie character names when world readers may not be familiar with Japanese formal names which may confuse. I will refer to the

actors by their professional acting name as listed in the Internet Data Movie Base.]

He enlists the aid of his real-life wife, professional ballet dancer Kusakari Tamiyo in her first and, so far, only motion picture. She is a dance teacher at her father's dance studio. Yet, her real ambition is to compete once more in an International Dance Competition which she was disqualified from in the past. No, I won't say "why." See the movie.

Salaryman Yakusyo Koji is the main star of the film. A veteran of about 25 films since 1979, he gives a sterling performance of a 40's something companyman

who has a lovely wife, teenage daughter, and just purchased the house of his

longing.

And, yet, something is missing from his own inner happiness. See this film to learn how he becomes "involved" with ballroom dancing and secretly goes to

lessons. Most of the dancing characters are liberated from the traditional

Japanese hierarchy of social structure. They are friendly and warm and inviting. Of course, this is in sharp contrast to how Japanese society is structured with it's "place for everyone and everyone in its place" philosophy.

The movie has so many funny moments. The almost 1,500 theater goers broke

into spontaneous laughter during many of the comedic moments. This proves

that comedy has no foreign language.

Veteran actor Takenaka Naoto is funny and brilliant as well as Watanabe Eriko. They are two funny character actors.

One could purchase and read a college text book regarding the structure of life in Japan, or, you could watch this fine film and begin to understand how the

people of Japan grow up in a fairly rigid societal structure. Watching the movie "Shall we Dansu?" is a quick immersion into further study and viewing other

Japanese films.

I recommend this film to all. It's funny, it's charming, it will make you cry a little, and it will warm your heart.