Comparing yourself to others -- in any way like job, looks, talent, intelligence, etc -- is unfair. You live an entirely different life than others, and it has affected and shaped you differently. This will help ease expectations you set yourself, and help put your own life in perspective. Remember that you are unique; no one else has the same exact history as you. For example, do not compare your looks to your friends. They have had different experiences than you. If you feel like you are not as smart as your classmates, consider the fact you have a different educational history and experiences than them. Whatever you are struggling with, a great way to put your life in perspective to consider what has come before. Consider what has happened in history and think about your problems in relation to that. Your problems and your life may still cause you to feel strong emotions. It is very important not to discount your emotions even if you think that you might "not have it that bad." Reflecting on historical facts is meant to consider change, not to discount your thoughts. Read books on history or take a class about a culture that might interest you. There are also great history podcasts that are offered for free through very reputable institutes and organizations. A great way to find perspective is to talk to others. They can help you consider new view points or acknowledge your viewpoints and opinion. Always be polite and respectful to people's perspectives, even if they are different from your own. Perspectives and stances can be personal. Seeing a situation as hopeless can make it hard for you to get anything done, but you can change that. If you feel like you are not capable of changing something, then try to identify something small that you could do. For example, if you feel like you are not capable of finding a job, then try to identify what you might do to start the process. Perhaps you could identify three jobs that you would like to apply for or fill out one job application at a place that is hiring. A negative outlook may make you feel like things will never change, rather than viewing the future with hope and possibility. Try to reframe any negative thoughts that you have about the present with positive thoughts about the future. For example, if you think to yourself, "I am never going to finish this project," try asking yourself something like, "When I imagine myself completing this project, what do I see happening to reach that goal?" Fears about how other people view you may also interfere with your ability to have a positive outlook. Instead of focusing on how other people may or may not see you, try to focus on how you see yourself. For example, if you find yourself thinking, "No one likes me," try asking yourself, "What do I like about myself?"
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One-sentence summary -- Stop comparing yourself and your actions to others. Learn from history and from others. Talk to others. Focus on what you can do. Look to the future. Identify your feelings rather than focusing on others.

This will help you determine how long it is going to take you to write a draft of the book. If you are working under a deadline, you may make your schedule more tight than if you have the luxury of more time to write. Try to organize your schedule around word count or page count. So, if you normally write about 750 words an hour, factor this in on your schedule. Or if you feel you may actually write two pages an hour, use this as an estimate in your schedule. Determine how long it will take you on average to compose a set number of words, or number of pages, per a day. If you are working towards a final word count goal, like 50,000 words or 200 pages, focus on how many hours per a week it will take you to reach this goal. You may feel pressure to write and rewrite every sentence you put down. But part of writing a memoir is writing an honest account of a pivotal event, in your own words and with your own style. Avoid putting on a "writer" voice. Instead, don't be afraid to write like you speak or talk. Include slang and any regional vernacular. Make your story sound like it is coming directly from you. Use your plot outline to get a general sense of where your writing might be heading. But let yourself explore scenes in your rough draft. Don't worry about writing perfect sentences or scenes. Instead, use your memory to create moments that feel true to you. When you use the passive voice, your writing will end feeling long winded and dull. Look for signs of the passive voice by circling all the "is" "was" and other passive verbs like "begin" "have" "seems" and "appears" in the manuscript. Use your grammar check (or an app like Hemingway app) to count the number of passive sentences in your manuscript. Aim for 2-4% maximum. Instead of "utilize" you can just put "use". Focus on simple language, with one or two syllable words. The only time you should be using higher level language is if you are using scientific terms or describing a technical process. Even then, you should be writing for the average reader. It may help to identify the reading level of the ideal reader of your book. You can determine the reading level based on the grade level of your ideal reader. If you account for ESL readers, you should aim for a grade 6 or 7 reading level. If you are writing for a higher education audience, you may write at a grade 8 or 9 level. You can use the Hemingway app to determine the reading level of your draft, or other online reading level tools. Engage your reader by showing them a specific process or scene, rather than narrate directly to them. For example, write a scene that shows the reader how you discovered your mother's letters from her family in Poland after her death. This will give the reader key information to help move the story forward, without telling them in a long, uneventful passage. Find a few sympathetic ears (friends, colleagues, a writing group) and read sections of the manuscript out loud. Good writing should engage readers as listeners, with details and description that create visceral images and a strong narrative. Don't try to impress your listeners or put on a "reading voice". Just read a natural, slow way. Ask for a reaction from your listeners after you finish reading. Note if there were sections that felt confusing or unclear to your listeners. If you are planning to send out your memoir to publishers, you need to edit the manuscript. You may want to hire a professional proof reader to give the book a good once over for common errors or mistakes. Don't be afraid to cut at least 20% of the material. You can likely get rid of certain sections that go on for a bit too long and cause the reader to tune out. Don't be shy about cutting chapter sections or pages that may be deadweight. Note if each scene in your book uses the power of the senses. Are you engaging at least one of the reader's senses in each scene? The power of enhancement through the senses (taste, touch, smell, sight, and hearing) is a trick both nonfiction and fiction writers can use to keep the reader interested. Check the timeline of the book. Did you follow your desire line all the way through to the end of your book? Does the ending of your book leave the reader with a sense of closure or achievement? The sentence level. Check for the transitions between paragraphs, are they smooth or jumpy? Look for any overused adverbs or terms and replace them so the sentences don't start to feel redundant.
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One-sentence summary --
Make a writing schedule. Write a rough first draft. Avoid the passive voice. Stick to informal language, unless it's absolutely necessary to use formal terms. Show, don't tell. Read the manuscript out loud. Revise the manuscript.