Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: A friend of mine recently invited us to join for his birthday dinner at Fogo. My initial thought was "what am I going to be able to eat here?!" but was assured that their salad bar was "banging". So, alas we arrive and the woman and I hit up the bar while we waited for our peeps. She got a really great dark beer and I tried to go outside of the box and ordered a melon martini. It was terrible, but I didn't want to send it back cause it was kind of my own fault. The bartender, however, noticed my full glass and asked if there was something else he could get for me. Thank you sir!!! I got a glass of Malbec instead, and it was great. Our friends arrived, and we were seated. It was like a whirlwind of craziness after. Our server twirled on over and explained super fast how the place worked and what it was all about. He went around asking what we all wanted to drink, and when he got to my lady, he called her sir...annoying. She clearly is a woman. Whatev, stuff happens sometimes when you're high on meat fumes. After he was done with our drink order, we all got up to grab some salad. Now, I know that this place is a meat house, but if you're gonna charge me 23 bones for my salad bar, please, make it great! I grabbed some lettuce and started walking around to see what else I wanted. There were these huge asparagus piled high, so I grabbed a few. Then I grabbed some green beans, huge beet slices and broccoli, too. I went to the dressings and was kind of disappointed. There were ranch, caesar, and what looked and tasted like zesty Italian from Kraft. Boo. Everything looked really good, but nothing was seasoned at all. I mean, I appreciate being given the option to season my own items, but plain bland everything? I want some flavor people! Once seated, meat on sticks came from every direction. It's kind of funny to watch. Two of my dining companions ordered limeades, and no joke, had to ask for refills from multiple people (at least four times!) before someone came by with a pitcher. The boyfriend of the birthday boy decided to propose that evening, and asked them to please bring the ring out on the dessert plate, and they did so very well. I'll give them a star for that. It was cute and sweet, both literally and figuratively. I just ordered an after dinner coffee for my dessert, and everyone seemed please with their treats. Ugh, then when it came time to pay, we decided that I would put $100 on my card and the rest was in cash. When someone FINALLY came by to pick up the bill, I explained this. He looked very confused. So, I repeated "Just 100 on the card and the rest cash." Simple enough, right? Not so much. It literally took about ten minutes for someone else to bring our monies back and when they did, the guy used all the cash and put the remainder of $61 on my card (I'm just glad is wasn't more than what I asked him to put on)...but still, I serve bro! It's not hard to do! I was completely underwhelmed by my experience here and do not plan on returning. At least I won't suffer from any meat sweats. NEXT!

Input: What would be an example of an positive review?

An example of an positive review: what can I say except, I love this Bar, as the song goes- when ever I am passing thru Gilbert - this is the one place I stop at before any other place - my cigar and drink is first on the agenda in Gilbert - nothing else matters in life except the simple pleasures - a good smoke and a great tasting single malt thats my story and I am sticking to it..

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: I ordered my pizza and salad online. I thought it would be more convenient than going there to pick it up. This location isn't that far from my place, so with the 45 min approx wait time, I thought I could expect my food close to that. Not sure of their process but I have a feeling it doesn't take the actual pizza 45 mins to cook (correct me if I'm wrong.) So I gave them a call 45 mins after their 45 mins was up, and was told it was on the road and would be there any minute. I'm pretty sure the guy on the phone was the one that delivered it to me, so that was cool. In all it took about 1 hour and 45 mins to get my pizza, which arrived not even remotely hot. If I hadn't been starving at the point, I probably wouldn't have eaten any of it. I haven't touched the salad, but I guess at this point the salad is moot.

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?
An example of an negative review: El jefe is definitely not the Boss of Mexican food. Overall the ambiance was very nice, the staff was nice, the Margarita was NOT good and the food was below average. The $12.00 Top Shelf Margarita was no where near as good as the mix you buy at Wal Mart. It seemed as if they had a pitcher in the fridge that had sat too long and was watered down. At El Jefe, they seemed to use every trick in the book to give the impression of robust amounts of food without actually providing much of the expensive stuff. The guacamole is served in a metal Martini glass. An inch above the top of the glass is Guacamole, everything from the rim under is shredded ICEBERG LETTUCE! They ran out of steak so I ordered the shrimp tacos. They put 3 small pieces of shrimp in each taco. They did put a piece at the front and back of the taco to make it look full. It was not. Tacos were below average. My sister in law ordered Fish tacos. Each taco had TWO tiny pieces of fish in them. Taste also below average. The Taco salad was a plate of shredded Iceberg Lettuce and was well below average. This was not good mexican food. I do not recommend El Jefe.