CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1920 's , 30 's 40 's , 50 's , 60 's and 70 's ! ! First , we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos . They took aspirin , ate blue cheese , tuna from a can , and did n't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer .
Answer the following question: Why is the narrator making such an extensive congratulations ?

The narrator is making an ironic joke .

At one point , I remember praying out loud , " God , what in the world is happening ? " I was the only one in the church office that day , so I fielded phone call after phone call . For some reason , everyone wanted to call their church as the events unfolded . Actually , I think I know the reason why they called . Because in times of uncertainty and crisis , the church remains unshaken .
Answer the following question: What religion may they practice ?

Christianity

" Listen ma'am , witnesses say you had a seizure , you obviously lost consciousness for a time and when we showed up you were disoriented . You need to come with us to the hospital . " Cynthia sighed . " Have you ever heard of me ?
Answer the following question: What is the reason she should go to the hospital ?

When you lose conciosness there might be a very serious injury in Cynthias head .

What are the chances of getting mumps * after * you ' ve been vaccinated with the mandatory MMR shot when just a babe?A bit worried right now . A few days ago , I had a slight ache on the left side of my neck . Shrugging it off as Random Body Ache Which Is Unexplainable and Will Generally Go Away On Its Own , I paid it no mind . Then it slowly progressed to a strain of somesort and a slight tenderness ( and PAIN !
Answer the following question: What may be the purpose of my post ?
To describe sickness