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Going into it with a nervous or angry attitude is not going to get you anywhere. The Join Up depends on the horse viewing you as the calm at the center of the storm, so you must present a safe and trustworthy person to approach. Take a few deep breaths and make sure the horse knows you're confident and relaxed. Remember that the horse will almost always mimic you. If you're jumping everywhere and shouting, the horse will respond by running and acting aggressively. Maintain relaxed body language and don't show fear. If you show fear or hesitation, then the horse will take this as a sign of submission from you, and it will take a lot longer to join up. Stand tall but in a non-aggressive, non-confrontational manner. This means making your movements soft and fluid rather than tense and jerky. Keep your hands close to your body. A horse may take fright at objects perceived as being waved around, so presenting a uniform silhouette poses less of a threat. Use a sing-song, happy, calm tone of voice. As soon as you shout or berate the horse, you have broken the Join Up because the horse understands your attitude as well as the tone and timbre of your voice. Your aim at this stage is to familiarize the horse with the arena, so the animal can see it holds no surprises. You also want to show the horse you are calm and not a threat. The horse might be a little scared or confused. Lead the animal around the safe, enclosed area for a few minutes. Change direction a few times as you lead to set yourself as "leader." You may also want to talk to the horse in a gentle voice as you do this to help calm the animal. You want to encourage the horse to move toward the perimeter. To do this, you may need to firmly "shoo" the horse away. You do not want to frighten the animal, but merely point out that it needs to be somewhere else, in the same way a mother may send her foal away. The process of moving the horse away presents you as lead mare. You will still have the longline attached to the horse's halter. As the horse moves away from you, throw the line out behind the animal while keeping hold of the clip. Position the line to the far side of the horse. This will cause the line to trail alongside the animal's body, behind the tail, and across the hind quarters. Flicking on the long line now has the effect of geeing the horse forward. Encourage the horse to move in a circle around you. Continue to push the horse on gently, working in circles around you. As the horse becomes familiar with what's expected, you will see its body language start to change. The horse may angle its head toward you and twitch the inside ear (the one closest to you) toward you as if awaiting instructions. This is a sign that the horse is ready to negotiate his position and do what you want. You will see the horse angle his head to you, which is a sign he is ready to negotiate his position according to what you want. After 5 or 6 circuits (if using a 50-foot diameter pen), change direction by blocking the horse using body language, but not actually getting in the way. After another 5 or 6 circuits change direction again, and start to coil the line and maybe drop eye contact down to the neck/shoulder. Other signs the horse is paying attention and looking for your guidance include making the circle smaller, turning the inside ear toward you, licking or chewing at the air, and lowering the head perhaps even touching the nose to the ground as if looking for somewhere to graze. The fact that the horse is relaxed but looking to you for instruction means the horse has started to trust you. Now you are both ready to move onto the next phase and test that trust. When you see these signs, drop eye contact completely and soften your body language. Try bringing the hand nearest the horse across your stomach with fingers closed. Turn your back and take a few steps away from the horse while remaining alert (watch out he/she may lose attention on you while you are not looking). This will cause the horse to come toward you slowly and 'join up'. If everything goes according to plan, when you turn your back and walk away, the horse will step toward you and follow. This is the same way a foal follows the mother when she moves off. You want to reward this behavior so that the horse is more likely to repeat it in future. If things don't go to plan and the horse ignores you, start working the animal in a circle again and go back to the beginning. However, if the horse is starting to tire, stop and try again another day. You can rub between the eyes or offer a nice stroke on the neck. This is how horses naturally groom each other or assure a lower status horse. They do not approach the lead mare unless she is very relaxed and not exerting her authority. Stand next to the horse on the near side, facing forward. Walk off and circle around the horse's nose to the right. The horse will follow when you have established that you are the leader. Complete a small circle and reward the horse. Do this in both directions.

Summary:
Calm down. Show the right body language. Use a calm voice. Bring your horse to an enclosed paddock or ring on a 30 feet (9.1m) line. Lead the horse around the pen. Move toward the center of the pen while encouraging the horse to move away. Position the line. Work the horse in circles around you. Continue to push the horse on gently. Look for other signs from the horse. Change your body language. Reward the horse. Get the horse to follow.