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If they need more sex, then open your mind to the possibilities. If they need time with friends or time to pursue a hobby, then don't be possessive. They'll be happier, and they'll be grateful to you for your respect. You should meet their needs, or at least some of them, without doing anything that feels uncomfortable to you. If they wants more sex, then consider having more sex with them, or think about why it doesn't appeal to you. But do not force yourself to do something you're not comfortable with just for their benefit. Instead, talk to them about it so they understand how you're feeling, and together you can decide on something you're both comfortable with. If he's missing his time out with the boys, let him have a boy's night and have a girl's night of your own. If they want time to pursue their hobbies, let them take the time. They'll grow as a person from doing their own thing, and this will benefit your relationship. Develop true intimacy and unconditional acceptance. Demonstrate a willingness to be vulnerable, and be confident that your relationship can withstand conflict. Enjoy your shared history and your inside jokes. Forward them articles you know that they'll find interesting or just sit with them in companionable silence. Even your silence will say volumes when your marriage is strengthened by true friendship. Though you should maintain other meaningful friendships so your life is full of love and laughter, at the end of the day, your spouse should be the person that you turn to. Aim to be the person that your spouse has the most fun with instead of their best friend or their favorite uncle. You should be their #1 go-to person, whether they need a good laugh or a good cry. Never lose sight of the dreams that you share. Whether your dreams include retiring to a warm climate or taking a trip abroad for your twentieth anniversary, embrace your dreams, talk about them and take steps to make them happen. If you and your spouse's dreams don't intersect, then you'll be creating a rift as you both move further towards your goals, or if one of you doesn't get what he or she wants. It's healthy to have your own dreams along with your spouse's, but you should make sure that none of your dreams are completely in conflict. Even if your shared dreams are lofty, you still need to talk about them to keep your passion alive. Make sure you still have a fun and interesting life. If your spouse left tomorrow, would you still have your own friends that you see at least once a month, hobby clubs you go to or sports that you play? If not, your spouse will always be working to fill a void they cannot fill, and will feel inadequate. When you're fulfilled as an individual, then you have a lot more to bring to the relationship. You will be a much better companion if you can draw from your own interests, experiences, and insights. If your spouse thinks that they're the only good thing happening in your life, then they're bound to feel trapped. Continue to pursue the hobbies or interests that were meaningful to you before the relationship. Though you may not be able to keep up with all or most of them, you should make time for the ones that were really meaningful to you. Men and women deal with stress all day and every day. Do what you can to help each other deal with the stress of every day life. Making sure that you are able to cope with your own stresses will take pressure off of your marriage. If one of you is chronically stressed out while the other doesn't understand why, then you'll have a problem. Help your spouse manage their stress by talking about it and treating them with extra care when they've had a rough day instead of making them feel worse by being angry that they're tired or withdrawn. When you're stressed, let your spouse know how you're feeling so they can pick up the slack around the house and help you out.
Meet your spouse's needs without compromising your own. Be your spouse's best friend. Create shared dreams. Maintain your own identity. Work together to manage stress.