Positive self-talk refers to the positive way that your inner voice talks to you and views yourself. This inner voice impacts your motivation, outlook, self-esteem, and overall well-being. Positive self-talk is a way to talk to yourself that will help you gain confidence, build a healthier lifestyle, and reduce negative thoughts. Positive self-talk can also help keep a health perspective on your emotions. Remind yourself that emotions and the urge to want to cut are just emotions and not fact. They will pass or can be improved. The feelings you are having that make you want to cut will not always be there. One way to incorporate positive self-talk into your everyday life is to leave visual reminders around. Use post-it notes or taped pieces of paper to leave positive phrases about yourself around your living areas. You can also write messages on your mirror, on a window, or on dry erase boards. This way, you will see the reminders every day and it will help improve you mood. It will also help you see positive messages when you are thinking about cutting. Good examples of positive phrases include: I am lovable. I am special. I am confident. I can achieve my goals. I am beautiful/handsome. My feelings are just feelings. My emotions will not last forever. Emotions are not facts. Harming myself does not solve my problems. Harming myself might provide quick relief, but not long term relief. I can overcome my anger/sadness/anxiety without harming. I can trust someone with my feelings right now. I can seek support. I'm going to make it. Positive self-talk will help you acknowledge and understand thought patterns that impact urges to self-harm. The first step is to learn to acknowledge your thoughts because they are often a habit. Some people find it helpful to create a journal to help record the daily thought processes. Writing them down allows you to critically think about your feelings and thoughts as well as process how to handle things differently. The goal is not to change your thoughts but to become aware of the thoughts. This will help you acknowledge them, which will help you not passively act on these negative thoughts that lead to self-harming behaviors. Try to write down the situation, thought, feeling, or emotion you have as well as any physical sensation such as energy, tightening of the stomach, and actions you do. Assessing your thoughts and thought process can help lead to more positive self-talk and less harmful thoughts that lead to cutting. Are your thoughts true? Look at your thought record and assess any similar situation you ended up in. Did you learn anything from these situations and what were the long term consequences? Did you handle any situations differently than other days? Did you act on negative thoughts? A good way to assess negative thoughts is to look for statements with words like should, ought, or must. These types of statements lead to messages of all or nothing. These negative, often harsh thoughts about yourself can lead to self-harm. Looking at your thoughts journal, what were some alternative thoughts you could have had? Write down the alternative and positive statements that undermine the negative thoughts you had. Ask a friend or trusted family member if you are unsure if thoughts are true.

Summary: Listen for positive self-talk. Leave reminders. Start a thoughts journal. Assess your thoughts.

Think about times that your parents have acted negatively toward you and consider if their behavior is warranted by some past action of yours. Even if you have changed, you might need to work on showing them that you have changed. For example, if you used to sneak out a lot, but have changed your behavior, your parents might be suspicious of your whereabouts and constantly think that you're up to no good. Since their suspicious are founded on previous truths, talk to them about it. Say something like, "Dad, I know I snuck out a lot last year and got into trouble. I realized that was really dumb, and I've cleaned up my act and stopped hanging out with those people." Keep up your responsible behavior to show that you're serious. Think about the circumstances under which your parents treat you negatively and try to determine if there is a specific cause behind it. If there is a misunderstanding, address this. For example, if your parents get annoyed when they think you're not listening, say: "Mom, I know you think I'm not paying attention because I'm looking at this book, but I really am listening to you." If your parents treat you negatively every time a certain thing happens, try to figure out what this thing is. Maybe they see something that you're not aware of and you need to learn how to prevent these situations in the future. For example, if your parents become negative every time you get a phone call from a certain person, ask them about it. Maybe they overheard a phone conversation in the past that they didn't approve of and they are worried about you. The only way to clear up any confusion is to talk about it.
Summary: Identify past incidents that may have led to this negative view. Identify what brings on negative behavior in your parents. Look for repeated patterns.