Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer: I never really had a chance to see how this place was because they made a terrible first impression. I came here for a friend's 21st birthday and I wasn't even allowed to drink. Supposedly the bouncer said I was too 'tipsy" in line so by the time I got inside I was not allowed to order a drink. I tried to order a drink anyways and as I looked behind me I saw that there were two security guards practically babysitting me, making sure the bartender did not serve me. The hilarity behind this whole charade was that I was not even drunk. I do not understand one bit why the security guards had to treat me as an adolescent. I would not recommend this place one bit if you are looking to just relax and have a good time as you might find yourself being babysat and then escorted out of the establishment for no reason. "Even if you are looking to spend some good money and have a GOOD time."

Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer: In a word: THE DOG WATER HAD MORE ICE THAN OURS. Orange Table used to be my favorite breakfast spot, but after my last experience, I will never go back again. My best friend and I went to Orange Table this morning for breakfast on Valentine's Day. I was so excited to take her there because it has always been a favorite spot of mine, but I hadn't been there in a while and "Oh Lordy!" has it changed. My primary complaint is in regards to the appallingly bad service we received. When we arrived, we went up to the hostess, who told us we could sit anywhere we liked. After seating ourselves, we waited about ten minutes without menus and finally had to ask a server if we could have some brought over. After about five minutes of looking over the menu, our server finally greeted us and let us know she was sending some waters over. We also ordered mimosas. Another five to ten minutes later, our water finally arrived, warm, because the two or three measly pieces of ice that had been in them were almost completely melted already. Another five to ten minutes later, our mimosas finally arrived, though I hesitate to even call them that. There was so much pulp in them that an inch of it pooled at the bottom and the whole drink was filled with hairy orange flesh. We politely sent them back and asked for coffee instead. As we waited an additional five minutes to get our coffee, we observed the tables around us. The man sitting at the table next to us had brought his dog and asked for some water for the dog. My friend and I, already pretty steamed by this point, couldn't believe it when we saw the dog's water was fuller and colder than ours had been. Eventually we received our coffee and our food, which was fine, though both of our dishes were severely lacking in seasoning. After we paid the bill, but before we left, my friend went to talk to the manager. She had tried to catch his eye earlier, but even when she did, he did not come over. When she went up to him, he was sitting down eating with a woman who didn't appear to work there. She asked if he would mind stepping aside so she could speak to him. He didn't even get up from his chair to speak with her, he just asked what she wanted. She then proceeded to tell him that she was disappointed with the service we received. He didn't apologize, but asked who sat us, and she told him we hadn't been sat, we were told to seat ourselves. She tried to continue to explain the issues we had, but he was so disinterested and ambivalent about everything she said that she finally told him she could tell he didn't care what she had to say and was sorry to have wasted his time. He just said "Okay" and let her walk out without another word said. We left with a sour taste in our mouth from the experience, or maybe that was just due to some leftover pulp still stuck in our teeth. Needless to say, we won't be returning.

Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer:
Don't eat anything that didn't JUST come out of the oven. The pizza on the counter is truly horrible, but right out of the oven is fair to middlin.