Input: OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive What would be an example of an positive review?

An example of an positive review: Huge fan of Sweet Tomatoes! I come here whenever I get a coupon in my email! This week they have amazing berry salads and dessert! The strawberry shortcake was delicious!

Input: OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: 2-stars may be a bit generous if we're just measuring food quality. Quick-n-dirty review: Stamm House features a lot of character, history, and good service. Unfortunately, that's about all it has to offer, unless you enjoy food that is extremely greasy, and of mediocre quality. Detailed review: Our fish fry crew decided to give Stamm House a try after we'd read good things about it on a fairly well known fish fry review website. Normally, those guys (the reviewers) are pretty spot on, but they've completely missed the mark when it comes to the Stamm House. Not even close to being a top-10 place, no way, no how. We sauntered in to the Stamm House at around 5:45 on Friday night and were shocked to find the place darned-near empty. The bartender greeted us immediately - very friendly guy - we ordered a couple of New Glarus Nakeds and a Spotted Cow. After downing the first round, we went to order a refill, and whoops - Naked went empty, and there wasn't any more left. Drat. After downing a second round of beers (Cows all around this time), it dawned on us that we probably needed to inquire about a table. So, we wandered upstairs where a friendly lady told us she'd have an opening at around 6:45 or 7:00. Odd, the place was empty... but, we took it and went back downstairs. We ordered some cheese curds and the onion rings. The bartender warned us ahead of time that the curds were "standard-from-the-bag" curds, but said the rings were hand-battered and delicious. They arrived quickly, and once again, the bartender was spot-on with his description. The curds were Sysco curds and were not cooked well at all. I don't think the fryer was hot enough, because these curds were drenched in grease - so much so that we couldn't eat them. Disgusting. And the ranch dipping sauce was like water... you know what they say about oil and water... The rings were decent, but again - the grease was ridiculous. It really made for a bad first impression. So, we ordered some Whiskey Old Fashioned Sours to help cut through the grease film that was sitting so heavily on our palettes. Our table was ready by 7:00-ish, and much to our surprise, when we went upstairs this time, the place was packed. Where those people came from, and how they got up there without us noticing remains a mystery... our waitress stopped promptly, checked our drinks, and took our order - fried perch all the way around with hash browns on the side. Dinner salads came first and were nice; fairly fresh, fairly tasty, and just the right size. Fish came out slightly later - served family style - along with our hash browns. First bite of the fish? UGH - it tasted awful. Extremely fishy flavor (and I love fish). Think "stinky NJ ocean shore line flavor" - not delicate, flavorful, flaky, and enjoyable. No sir, this was the nightmarishly bad fish that we all remember from our grade school days - you know, the stuff that was about 2-3 days away from being used as feed for the sea lions at the zoo So, we doused it with lemon and gave it another go - and once again, the fish was so overpoweringly fishy that we reached for the (gasp!) ketchup. That helped a bit, but it still wasn't an enjoyable fish fry. The fish was cooked well - not too greasy, and it was breaded rather than battered. If only it weren't so obscenely fishy... Hash browns were tasty - fried nicely (crisp and tasty). Service was fantastic - our waitress was fun, helpful, and did a great job of checking in with us. Total bill for three with a round or two of drinks was $45-ish. Stamm House = FAIL Food: 1 star (grease, grease everywhere; horrible fish fry) Service: 4.5 stars Value: 3 stars Summary: waaaaay too greasy + waaaaaay too fishy fish = fail.

Input: OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive What would be an example of an negative review?
An example of an negative review: I'll move this from a 1 star review to a 2 only because the young man helping me out was friendly - the rest of the experience was a damned disaster. Pros: + They changed my Oil. + Previously mentioned worker was friendly. Cons: -$140 for oil, tire rotation, air filter. -97 minutes from the time I pulled up till the time I left. -Restroom (air conditioned) smells better than the lobby (not air conditioned) -Roaches (both in the restroom and lobby) -$1.50 for a can of soda (only cold thing in the lobby) -Television in the lobby set at volume of 50, buttons broken so it cannot be turned off, turned down, or have the channel changed from Zoomba infomercials. -I was not allowed to drive my car into the shop - I had to let a sweaty greasemonkey do that. He was literally dripping wet. - Have already sent three pieces of spam to my e-mail box despite not saying they'd do so when asking for my e-mail.