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Sometimes it may feel easier to ignore your feelings and push them away. All this really does is build them up until they become totally overwhelming. To deal with internalized homophobia, you need to be willing to tap into these feelings and address them head on. Make a conscious choice to identify and eliminate your internalized homophobia. Although it may be difficult, remind yourself why you are doing this. For example, your goal might be to overcome the negative feelings regarding your sexual orientation and to feel happier as a result. Keep in mind that internalized homophobia can also cause relationship problems due to the distress it causes. People with internalized homophobia may suffer from shame and anxiety. They may also have a poor outlook of other gay people, including their partners. You can determine if you have internalized homophobia by asking yourself some simple questions. If your answer is yes to any of these questions, then you may have internalized homophobia. Some questions to ask yourself include: Have you ever wished you were not attracted to those of the same sex? Have you ever tried to make those feelings go away? Have you ever felt that your sexual attraction to the same sex is a personal shortcoming? Have you tried to make yourself attracted to those of the opposite sex? Do you avoid interacting with lesbians, gay men, or bisexual people? Do your feelings of attraction to the same sex make you feel alienated from yourself? Consider the ways in which homophobia has shaped your attitudes, behaviors, education, and life choices. Perhaps your internalized homophobia has stopped you from making friends with other LGBT folks or stopped you from attaining some of your life goals. For example, perhaps you have avoided mingling with other gay people because of your own rejection of your feelings. Or, perhaps your belief that gay people can't play sports prevented you from pursuing your passion for soccer in high school. Internalized homophobia can even influence how you function in a romantic relationship. Those with internalized homophobia have been shown to have more conflict in their same-sex relationships. This can even lead to domestic violence between same-sex partners. In order to fight your internalized homophobia you can try one of the things you have always wanted to do but haven't done yet. If you always wanted to play soccer, join a league. Even better, you may be able to find a gay soccer team to play on!
Be willing to work on your problems. Ask yourself questions. Consider the impact of internalized homophobia.