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Distance yourself from your toxic parent. Take responsibility for your own emotional health. Build up your self-esteem. Practice good self-care. See a therapist.
Getting some space from your parent will help you feel confident enough to stand up for yourself as an adult. Even if you don't want to cut off contact with your parent, reduce your communication and visits for a while. See how you feel when your parent has a less prominent role in your life. Often people in toxic environments don't realize how dysfunctional the people around them are. If you've spent a lot of time around your parent in the past, distancing yourself may provide some much-needed perspective on your situation. Try to establish relationships with other parent-type figures, such as aunts, uncles, grandparents, and close family friends. For example, when you spend some time apart from your mother and find other sources of support, you might recognize how little support she provides. Or, even more, you might notice that she not only doesn't offer support but requires it from you. If one or both of your parents are toxic, you will have to give yourself the support and care they should have provided. This isn't an ideal situation or a fair one, but the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can move on from your parent and work on healing yourself. Avoid holding out hope that your parent will see their mistakes and work with you to repair the relationship. If they were going to change, they would have done it a long time ago. Don't think that distancing yourself will miraculously change them, for instance. You need to be okay with getting time and space for your own emotional well-being--not simply to force them into changing. Challenging your negative self-talk is an effective way to start repairing the damage of a toxic upbringing. If your parent frequently made fun of you or put you down, you might be in the habit of criticizing yourself harshly maybe even in their voice. But keep in mind that their behavior is not your responsibility. Practice shutting down this critical inner voice and reminding yourself of your strengths instead. For instance, if you catch yourself thinking "I'm nothing but a burden," shut that thought down and recognize where it is coming from, such as by saying to yourself, "Those are my mother's thoughts, not mine." Then, replace the thought with, "I help my friends when they need it, and I'm productive at work." Make a list of all your best attributes and slide it into your wallet or post it on your bathroom mirror. Review the list whenever you start doubting your abilities. As an adult, you're no longer dependent on your parents to take care of your physical and emotional health. Recognize and honor your own needs by adopting a healthy lifestyle and making time to relax. Several healthy habits that can make a big difference in the way you feel include eating a clean diet, getting eight hours of sleep every night, and getting some exercise most days of the week. You can take care of your emotional health by meditating, writing in a journal, or working on a creative hobby. Make sure to spend plenty of time around positive people who value you for who you are. A mental health professional can help you work through your feelings towards your toxic parent. With their guidance, you can learn to respect yourself, cope with the pain your parent caused you, and move on with your life. Talk to your family doctor in order to receive a referral for mental health therapist who can help with your circumstances.