Write an article based on this "Find a way to talk privately. Ask them how they are feeling. State your concerns. Ask if they want to talk. Avoid arguing."
The best place to have a conversation is in a private, quiet area. Your loved one should feel secure and comfortable in this space. You might have the conversation while talking a walk, or you might sit them down in your living room, kitchen, or bedroom. Minimize distractions as much as possible. Turn off the TV and music. If there are other people in the room, ask them if they would mind giving you some privacy. The first question you ask should be about their emotional state. A simple and sincere "How are you?" can encourage them to start talking. If that is too broad, or they respond with a one-word answer like "Fine," then you may want to be a bit more specific. You can say something like, "I've noticed that you've seem kind of anxious lately. Can you tell me what is concerning you?" If they have a diagnosed mental illness, you might say, "I just wanted to check in to see how you are doing. What kind of experiences have you been having at work/home/school?" If you suspect a mental illness but they have not been diagnosed, don't be afraid to engage them in conversation. Just make sure you are speaking from a place of compassion. If your loved one has demonstrated specific, troubling behaviors, such as increased substance use or anger issues, you might want to state these at the outset. Be gentle, and do not accuse the other person. Some signs of mental illness include anxiety, detachment, changes in sleeping or eating habits, substance abuse, social withdrawal, self-harm, inability to concentrate, poor hygiene, lack of grooming, mood fluctuations, or an inability to complete basic daily tasks. Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements to soften what you are saying. Instead of saying, "You seem really anti-social lately," you might say, "I have noticed that you're not coming out of your room very often. Is everything ok?" It can be very difficult for people to discuss their mental illness. If they are not ready to talk, do not push them. Let them know that you are available to talk whenever they need it. Just by expressing your willingness to support them, you may be helping them already. You can say, "You say that you have been really depressed lately. Do you want to talk about it?" If they say that they do not want to talk, you should say, "That's ok. Just know that I am here for you when you need it. If you ever do want to talk, let me know." Some people may deny that they have a problem. Others may resist your attempts to help. Do not argue with your loved one if they do not cooperate with your attempts to talk. Doing so will only drive them away. Instead, calmly reaffirm your commitment to them. If they insist that there is not a problem, you might say, "I'm glad to hear it, but if there ever is a problem, you can come to me." If they have a substance abuse problem, suicidal tendencies, or violent outbursts, you may need to contact a professional to intervene. If they are a possible threat to themselves or others, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department for a mental health evaluation.