Article: Sometimes we get feedback we don't want to hear. Whether from a classmate, a teacher, a coach, or a parent, criticism isn't always "hating." It's meant to be constructive. There's a big difference. Bullies abuse, hate, and tear down. That is "destructive criticism." Constructive criticism, on the other hand, is meant to help us. Intent is the big difference between these two kinds of criticism. Why is a person criticizing you? If they are trying to hurt you, to be cruel, or to just tear you down, it's destructive. If a person gives criticism that points out your mistakes or faults, but also how you can improve, it is constructive. It still might hurt, but it is worth listening to. Say that your hockey teammate tells you, "You're a terrible skater" or "You really suck out there." These are examples of destructive criticism "hating." It would be constructive if your teammate had said, "You're a weak skater. Try bending more at the knees and getting lower to the ice. You'll get more power in your stride" Not only intent but the target of criticism is important in determining whether it is destructive or constructive. Destructive remarks target the individual you. They are meant to attack you as a person. Constructive criticism does not do this. It focuses instead on your work, your skills, a concept, a process, or something else. It is impersonal. Examples of destructive criticism include, "You're stupid," "What's wrong with you?" "You're doing this all wrong." Note that the criticism attacks you and your personal worth. Examples of constructive criticism include, "Your writing sounds kind of stilted. Try to use simpler sentences," or "You nearly hit that car. Always check your blind spot before changing lanes." It can be hard to separate yourself from your work or other things that you love. Try not to take it personally. Someone who criticizes your writing, for example, is not attacking who you are as a person. They may just want to help you improve. How criticism is delivered is also important. Destructive and constructive criticism can both be harsh and difficult to hear. Tone is a key separator, however. A destructive critic usually takes a hurtful tone, maybe contempt, maybe mockery, or maybe just insults. Constructive critics may point out faults, but their tone is supposed to be cruel. For example, a hater would say something along the lines of "Only an idiot would do it this way." The tone is very personal, insulting, and hurtful. A constructive critic might take the same fault but express it more kindly: "This is wrong, but it's a common mistake. What you could have done differently is..." Note that the tone is more impersonal and leads to a piece of advice. At heart, the advice is what most separates destructive from constructive criticism. The first aims only to tear down, without offering suggestions for the future. The second, on the other hand, is meant to offer advice and to help you improve. A hater will never (or rarely) have suggestions for how you can improve, e.g. "That was pathetic!" or "Why did you waste your time on that?" Constructive criticism offers useful advice. For example, say you get a low grade on a paper and the comment, "It seems like you wrote this essay very fast. It is filled with errors. Always make sure to proofread!" This criticism may be blunt, but it offers genuine advice. Lots of people talk about "haters" when they get a piece of criticism. While there are lots of critics out there, we sometimes fall back on the word "hater" as a way to avoid confronting our own failures. In other words, we dismiss criticism when we "lack the self-awareness to critique and improve." Criticism can be hard to hear. However, we sometimes need to hear the truth in order to grow. Don't resist all criticism. Learn to tell constructive criticism from destructive criticism. Be open to criticism when it's mean to help you.

What is a summary?
Note the intent. Note the target of criticism. Note tone of criticism. Note the lack of substance of advice. Be open to constructive criticism.