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It's hard to heal from unrequited love if you're constantly reminding yourself about the other person. Avoid seeking out that song or place that reminds you of the person or a wonderful time you had together. Memory triggers can be anything, from seeing a picture of that person on your Facebook feed to hearing a song that you associate with a wonderful time that you had with him or her. It can even be a smell (like apple pie, because you one time had an apple pie baking contest with him or her, for example). If you do unexpectedly encounter a trigger, as you probably will, it's best to acknowledge the moment and move on from it. Don't linger over the feeling that it will inevitably bring up. For example: if the song that you associate with them comes on the radio, turn the radio off or change the station. Acknowledge the sadness and regret that comes over you, and turn your attention to something positive or neutral (what you're going to have for dinner, that trip you have coming up). Remember, you're not going to have to avoid these triggers forever. You just want to make the healing as easy as possible and constant reminders make that process more difficult. When you've moved on, the triggers might still recall the other person but it will be less painful. It's best to get the emotional and difficult aspects of the healing process off your chest. If you cling to those emotions, it will make it harder to release them in the long run. Find someone to talk to about what you're feeling and what you're going through. Make sure that it's someone that you trust. This could mean a friend that you know won't try to speed up your healing. It could mean a family member who lets you call them when you're feeling upset. It could even mean a therapist, especially if this is a long-term love that you're really struggling with or that is tied up with other issues. You can also journal about your feelings if you don't feel like you can or want to talk to another person. One good thing about journaling these feelings is that you'll be able to track your healing process, which will give you proof that it's possible to get over your unrequited love. Talking with someone who's gone through something similar can be very helpful. You can ask them about their own experiences and how they coped. The people who have gone through the same experience can really understand one another's problem. You will have to describe less to them than others and they would be able to understand even more. Don't expect everyone to understand. People who have not gone through what your experience may not be able to empathize the way you would like them to. Develop your spirituality. This can really prove to be a very strong weapon for you and can also help you to make you very resilient in your tougher times. One of the big side-effects of rejection of all sorts, but especially romantic rejection, is feeling disconnected or isolated from others. You may not be able to have the relationship you want with this one person, but you can strengthen your relationships with the other people in your life. Studies show that interacting with people you love can help speed up your body's recovery time. Since emotional pain often manifests physically, spending time having fun with loved ones can help you recover from that unrequited love. Fun is particularly important because of how it works on your brain. Having fun reduces your feelings of anger and can help you feel positive. Laughter really is the best medicine: it releases endorphins, your body's natural mood-boosters. It can even increase your body's ability to tolerate pain. So go see a silly movie, sing drunken karaoke, bounce on a giant trampoline -- have fun, laugh, and learn to heal. Certain patterns of thought can sabotage your healing process and make it far more difficult to move on. Remember that you can live without the other person and that he or she is not perfect. You are fully capable of loving someone else. Remind yourself that people and situations change. What you feel now is not how you're going to feel for the rest of your life, especially if you're actively working towards feeling differently. Don't blame yourself or feel stupid for having these feelings. It happens to everyone and you have been strong enough to get over it. So, feel proud of yourself for that. Nobody wants to have their heart broken. However, if you can reframe this romantic rejection as an experience to learn and grow from, it will become more than just a sad time in your life. You can use it to motivate positive growth for the future. For example, find things to honor about your experience. Sure, you put your heart out there and the other person didn't want it. But you were strong and brave enough to be vulnerable! Without the willingness to accept vulnerability, we can't connect with other people or experience deep emotions such as joy and love. Consider whether this is part of a larger pattern. Some people may repeatedly fall for others who reject them, especially if you didn't feel secure in your emotional attachment to your parents as a child. If you've fallen for people who rejected you more than once, you may be subconsciously choosing people who repeat the same issues you had with your parents. You may find it helpful to talk through this with a therapist. Remind yourself that through this experience, you're learning things like strength and self-reliance. Being rejected isn't the most enjoyable ways to hone these skills, but if you focus on learning rather than wallowing, you'll emerge stronger on the other side. You may even come to a better understanding of your emotions and needs. Studies show that doing something new, such as going on vacation or even taking a different route to work, is one of the absolute best ways for you to break old habits and replace them with new ones. If you can't afford to do this in a big way, make little, everyday changes. Visit a new part of town. Try a new hangout on Saturday night. Rearrange your furniture. Get into a new band. Learn a new hobby, like cooking or rock-climbing. Try to avoid doing something super drastic, unless you're sure you really want it. This is a time when a lot of people chop all their hair off, or get a tattoo. It's best to wait until after the initial healing before making this sort of change. Because you've been so caught up in loving someone, you may have forgotten what it's like to be just you. Healing from unrequited love is a great time to find out who you are aside from your feelings for another person. Work on your personal growth. Don't change things about yourself simply because the other person may not have liked them. However, if there are aspects of yourself that you'd like to develop, go for it. Learn a new language. Develop a new gym routine. Take up flamenco guitar. Develop the things that make you unique. While you've been spending so much time obsessing over this other person, important aspects of you have been languishing on the side of the road. Get involved with the things and the people you didn't have as much time for while you were dealing with this unrequited love. Resist the urge to personalize this rejection. It's easy to feel like the other person rejected you because you weren't pretty/smart/buff/whatever enough. Learning to avoid this type of fallacy will help you feel less emotionally damaged. It will also keep you from trying to "fix" yourself in an attempt to win the other person's love. Remember: it isn't about you. Trying new things will help get you out of your normal routine and won't have associations with the person you're trying to get over. This will make it so that you're too busy trying new things to obsess over that person who didn't love you back. Pushing yourself past your comfort zone has other benefits, too. Too much comfort has been shown to reduce your motivation to make changes. A tad of uncertainty will help you transform things in your life that need work. Learning to push yourself past your comfortable boundaries also makes it easier to deal with uncertainty next time. Taking (controlled) risks and challenging yourself allows you to accept vulnerability as a fact of life, making you less likely to feel destroyed the next time something unexpected happens. If you give in to the fear that this rejection was because of you, you may never try anything again. Pushing yourself to take risks, even small ones, will help keep you from withdrawing into a shell of fear.
Avoid memory triggers. Talk it out with someone. Strengthen your support networks. Challenge unhelpful thoughts. Treat this as a learning experience. Change up your routine. Find yourself. Push yourself outside your comfort zone.