Summarize the following:
When your friend makes a critical or harmful remark, pause and think about what possibly triggered their spiteful comment. Were you telling them about something good that is happening to you? Did you just share your plans for the future? Had they just come from spending time with other people? After a few days or weeks, you will start to notice a pattern. Recognizing this pattern may help you know how to steer a conversation and or reveal your friend's insecurities. If your friend always makes jealous, spiteful comments while hanging out in a group, they may put you down in an effort to bolster their waning self-confidence. If your friend always makes envious remarks after you've shared plans with for your future, they may feel like their future isn't as promising as yours. Jealous comments reveal a lot about the person making the invidious statement. These comments, while directed at you, aren't necessarily about you. Think about content of the comments. What do they reveal about your friend's point of view and sense of self? Is your friend always telling you that you're not good at something? Do they frequently make fun of your appearance? If your friend is super critical of your possessions, they may be struggling to define their identity outside of their possessions and finances. If your friend makes negative comments about your success, they may be jealous about the opportunities you are receiving or envious of your talents. If your friend constantly critiques your appearance, they may feel insecure about their own physical appearance. Jealous comments usually serve a dual purpose. First and foremost, these remarks are meant to make you feel bad about yourself. You should also consider that your friend may be mad at you, building herself up by cutting you down, or trying to manipulate you. There is also the possibility that your friend treats everyone they encounter in this manner. Your friend could be mad at you for numerous reasons, petty or otherwise. Is there a reason your friend might be angry with you? Did you recently fight? Did you forget to call them back? Were you gossiping about them? In order to diminish and distract from our own faults, insecurities, or fears, we have a tendency to point out other's failings. Is your friend struggling with self-confidence or body image issues? Are they feeling unsure about their future? Cutting someone down can make a person feel more powerful and confident. Does your friend thrive on feeling superior and in charge? Humans are complex beings. Our emotional, mental, and physical health are interconnected and inform our mood, actions, and words. While you may perceive your friend's comments as jealous statements, there may be more to their envious quips than meets the eye. Instead of writing your friend off as jealous and petty, ask your friend how they are doing. Some people struggle to manage their negative thoughts. If your friend is constantly comparing themselves to you, they may caught in a cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing. Their seemingly jealous remarks are making them feel worse instead of better about themselves. Recent studies suggest that individuals struggling with depression have a difficult time distinguishing between negative emotions. If they truly are envious of you, they may not identify their actions or comments as such; if they are angry or sad, these emotions may manifest as jealousy.
Consider when the jealous comments are made. Evaluate the content of their envious comments. Speculate about what your friend is trying to achieve. Differentiate between jealousy, negativity, and depression.