Input: .
Generate a negative review for a place
Output: Went on a Groupon today for the first time. I was "greeted" by two guys who told me that my windshield was in such horrible condition that it might break going through the carwash and I had to replace it, my insurance would pay for it. My windshield is in great shape...just trying to commit insurance fraud. It was a hard, hard sell. When I said no for about the 6th time, they said, "Fine guess you'd rather replace it than get it fixed for free." It took 5 seconds to get a windshield salesman but 5 minutes for somebody to finally come up to help me get my car washed and oil changed. Talk about a bad first impression! Next, I had to wait for over an hour to get a simple oil change and car wash. The waiting room was sparse but did have a nice aquarium. Finally, even though I had a $22 groupon that should have covered the cost, they charged me $5 extra for random things like $1 fee for SUV (it is a Hyundai Tucson), other service fees and taxes. I didn't have as bad of an experience as Luis T, but mine was bad enough that I will never be back.

Input: .
Generate a negative review for a place
Output: This restaurant is NOW closed. OUT-of-Business. R.I.P.

Input: .
Generate a positive review for a place
Output: Yes, I am a fan of Pf Changs. I love coming here and when I do, never disappointed. Despite the harsh critics out there claiming it's not "real" asian food, well have you actually had real asian food? I like to consider this asian food with an american flare. Who cares, as long as it's good, I don't care who cooks it! This place is fun to go to, I enjoy the ambiance of it, I enjoy their mixed drinks and I really enjoy their food. Oh and if you haven't had the calamari, the best!!

Input: .
Generate a positive review for a place
Output:
Holy CRAP was this place packed today!! It's gotten astronomically popular since it arrived in this location about two or three years ago, and despite being a decent-sized establishment, if you arrive dead on at midday you're in for at least a five to ten min wait unless you're lucky. Just like I wrote in my review of Vogue Bistro, I felt like I wasn't dressed appropriately, although this time it was because while I was wearing brown camo cargo pants and a grey t-shirt, seemingly everyone else there - both typical patrons and servers alike - were dressed like they were starring in a Wiggles on-stage production. I'm a big fan of the Chicken Tikka Masala, which I've been ordering ever since it was an experiment listed on a sheet of A4 paper attached to the main menu; it's now a regular item. I also get the caramelized cauliflower with tahini which is utterly delicious. I'm NOT a big fan of cheap, sh1tty tattoos though, and I saw a whole stack of those too. Today was more or less a day like any other. Met the wife here, sat down, were promptly served our food. I went for the lavosh shawarma wrap instead of my usual since I'm trying to cut down on carbs (a very slight cutdown.. whatever!) but did get the cauliflower too. The cauli was different today. For a start, they brought it out on a full-sized plate, whereas it's normally served on a side-item-sized plate. Was fine with me as the wife usually shares it. While the lavosh wrap was absolutely delicious as I remember it being, the tahini sauce that went along with the cauli was weirdly sweet. Like it had sugar or syrup mixed in with it. Usually it's a more tan color and savoury, but this time it was more on the amber/orange side. When the server passed by I asked him whether the recipe had officially changed - he said no, and that they might have overdone one of the ingredients in the kitchen, but he definitely noticed the difference in color too. I said I was asking because I wouldn't order it again if it tasted the same, but I'm a big fan of the usual sauce. He said he'd check with the kitchen. Not more than a couple of minutes later he comes back carrying a giant dessert plate with a slice of duo-tone baklava on it, covered in giant sultanas (aka golden raisins, I believe) and dusted in cinnamon powder by way of compensation. Jesus on a pogo stick. Chevy Chase could have tobogganed down a snowy hill on the bastard. It was delicious - I shouldn't have eaten it but I did. Even the wife, who isn't a big fan of baklava, took a couple of bites and proclaimed that it was the best baklava she had ever had. Very nice of them to do this, especially being so busy. Double-size side item plate and a comped dessert for two - you folk in Liberia are sure missing out! Definitely coming back (I would have anyway, I had no major problem with the meal). I thoroughly recommend this place, it's a great all-round location if you want reasonably healthy macrobiotic stuff in a funky kind of atmosphere, long as you don't mind some of the saddest tattoos you'll probably ever see. They thoroughly deserve their high rating and a Yelp ambassador should consider giving them one of those "People love us on Yelp!" stickers that are inexplicably given to other places such as Mr Goodcents. Although, if you want proper fresh Greek, Greek Wraps just up the road trumps them. I'd rock up there for a chicken kabob wrap on their freshly baked pita any day of the week. And no, owner of Chicago Gyros, they didn't pay me to say that. BTW, Greek Wraps did a giant renovation around Christmas last year, the place is almost literally three times bigger. Now if only Haji Baba's would renovate that rancid cesspit they call a restroom..