Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: Food is good, but service is absolutely pitiful. We had a table for 10 (after fighting with them to get 2 tables pushed together) and they were unable to split the checks more than 3 ways. After we agreed that this was going to have to suffice, it took 35 minutes to get our check and it was wrong. Once she finally got it right 20 minutes later, she told us that it was going to take a while because of how we are paying (which was via credit card). She then proceeded to tell us it was OUR FAULT and took another 40 minutes to figure it out. There were 3 other people in the entire restaurant, sitting at the bar talking to the other bartender, who was not helping our waitress. There were 5 staff members that just stood there and watched as our waitress struggled. I will never go here again and neither will the 10 people I went with last night. The fact that it was a Tuesday night, with no one in the place and they couldn't get this right is embarrassing. I will make it a point to tell everyone not to come here when they are in the area for a play, etc. There are plenty of other restaurants in this area that will treat you better for the price.

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: I went here before it closed and when I went it was so disgusting. I ordered tortilla soup and the soup tasted bad. On top of that they put a scoop of sour cream in my soup. How gross is that? I don't remember what I ordered becuase it was so long ago but whatever it was, it was dry and tasteless. Im shocked that they re opened. I bet the food is still shitty. Honestly, I hope they close down again but this time for good. I will never go back.

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: **CENSORED REVIEW (so as not offend the delicate sensibilities of Terry Fator fans)** I had little interest in seeing Terry Fator, though his big fat smarmy redneck mug has been leering at me from local billboards for years. Ventriloquism? Puh-leaze! I'm *WAY* too highbrow for that. Then he dumped his wife to shack up with his 20-year-old assistant. NOW I wanna see his show -- I gotta see the Hawaiian ho-bag that broke up a God-fearing, Jebus-lovin,' cancer-kid-tribute-song-writin' all-American-hero's 20 year marriage! That must be SOME XXXX! A friend got free tickets, so I went to check it out for shits and giggles. I wasn't expecting much, but I should have been warned by the fact that I had two extra tickets, and I couldn't even GIVE them away. I approached several people on the Strip on my way to the show: "Hey, would you like some free Terry Fator tickets?" "Terry WHO?" My bad; I should have known better to approach anyone younger than 95 or with more than 4 teeth in their mouth. Because that's the only people who dig his lame, white-bread, borderline-racist, sexist, homophobic, obscenely pandering shtick. Seriously; I looked around the theater when I got there, and it looked like a trailer park church social in Rustbucket, USA. Depresssssssssing! Terry himself is a great ventriloquist, but his puppets and shtick are SO lame and tired that it's not even fun to get drunk and laugh at. His puppets cover every stereotype known to Flyover Country: the funny XXX, the jiving XXXXX, the horny old woman, the slutty young homewrecking assistant -- oh wait, that wasn't a puppet, that was his WIFE! Who, incidentally, is built like a brick XXXXhouse, and whose apparent purpose in the show is to wear a succession of slutty costumes and be leered at by Terry. Each puppet was onstage for about 5 minutes of shtick, which consists of singing along to a live band. The XXX sings XXX songs, the XXXXX sings XXXXX music, the horny old lady sings horny old lady songs. The Hawaiian hoochie doesn't sing (or speak a single word, for that matter) -- it's too hard to sing with a mouth full of XXXX. Apropos of NOTHING, Terry takes two breaks from his racist/sexist/homophobic shtick: "I'd like to be serious for a moment, folks." UH-OH!!! The first time Terry gets serious, it's to sing a self-penned piece of uber-schlock called "Horses in Heaven," all about Little Timmy the Cancer Kid. All Little Timmy wants to know is if there are horses in heaven, presumably so that when he dies, he can XXXX XXXXXXXXX for the rest of all eternity under the watchful eye of Jebus. The second time Terry gets serious is when he asks all the "folks" (I hate that word, it's a Flyover Country Alert signal) in the audience who have "served our country" to stand up and be applauded. All the poor old WWII vets in the room creak to a semi-erect position: Yaaaaaay! God Bless Amurrica! Thank you for giving up years of your life to serve your corporate masters! So glad you escaped being blown to smithereens so that you could be here tonight in Vegas, listening to this racist, sexist, homophobic pabulum! I KNEW WE FOUGHT THOSE WARS FOR A REASON! But aside from those two brief intermissions, it's non-stop yuks. When Terry's not onstage, this funny wacky XXXXX kid comes out and does funny XXXXX dancin' to keep the audience from nodding off. THAT's the kind of show this is. In sum: if some random XXXXX comes at you on the Las Vegas Strip, trying to pawn off two free tickets to see Terry Fator.... ...RUN!!!

Input: What would be an example of an positive review?
An example of an positive review: Being from NJ I am always on the prowl for my hometown pizza and Italian food. They have absolutely the best cannolis like my grandmothers! The pizza droops like Ray's Pizza in NY. I'm not a big fan of sauce that has any sugar in it which most do so to many their sauce is awesome. I prefer unsweetened everything. The service is great and they are from New Jersey! It's a great place to grab their special 2 slices and a coke for $4! YUM!