Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: Just got back from taking my Friends' to enjoy a great place to eat and WOW is all I have to say. I speak highly of this place's food and atmosphere, until today. Now mind you, I can overlook one speed bump but I will make notice of it and today was that day. Our server, who goes by Server #10 was (to use his own choice of words) "A DICK". Yes ladies and gentlemen, he chose to use that word when taking one of our orders and referring to himself (strike two in less than 5 minutes) while explaining an item not being offered as an option. So many ways he could have handled the situation, but he chose the more ignorant, abrasive and disrespectful manner. To make a long story short, I allowed my company to choose his tip and feel free to leave a note on the receipt informing him of his misconduct. I will still go there, but I will not be contributing to his income nor will I expect that anyone else who works there manage their customer interaction with unprofessional language (unless of course you know your customer like you know your Mother). And even then, if you speak to your Mother with that mouth you shouldn't be in public service where your interaction makes your living. If management chooses to take any action, please feel free to note the receipt reads #346070, where my friend clearly stated how she felt. If we, as professionals would speak to our Students' or Patients' with such language, we would have some sort of action taken upon us. Why would this be allowed in a restaurant setting is beyond me.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: I used to go to this restaurant often and enjoyed the jovial very friendly staff and reasonably good (sometimes very good) food in the buffet. Now I had not been there for a while, but went for lunch buffet today- with a guest, unfortunately. There seems to have been a change in ownership and/or staff. The demeanor of the new staff was very sour. Especially the woman who works there looked like it would be very painful for her to crack a smile or utter a friendly or welcoming word. The men floated around like shadows- forget about any personal touch. I felt very uncomfortable. For the food-- I used to love the Rasam soup. Now it was more like a super salty brine. There also were really no vegetables-- the only choice was a mushy broccoli/potato mush. Broccoli is not even a real Indian vegetable. The grilled fish was reasonably good, as was the biryani (hence two stars). Finally, the restaurant no longer offers free parking, as they used to in the adjacent garage. One now has to search for paid street parking, making it much harder to eat here. So- if you ate here before and liked it-- be warned on all accounts. There are better Indian food options in the Madison area, e.g. Taste of India on Monroe Street, and Swagat in Middleton- both of which also have convenient parking.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A:
Have you ever had a meal that leaves you equal parts full and unsatisfied? It happens to me all the time. Here's the deal: When most people are starving they'll eat anything right? Like, "Is there peanut butter or maybe some triscuits in the cupboard. Oh good, I'm starving. I'll eat those." I'm the opposite. A very common exchange in my life is: Me: I'm staaaaarving. Someone (slightly) more rational than I am: Um, there's a kitchen full of food right there. Me: No, I'm starving! I need something really good! I can't waste this! Yes, that's right. I don't like to "waste" hunger. And that is exactly what I feel like I did at Cafe Rio. After reaching full-on STARVATION MODE one Tuesday Night, I set my sights on Taco Tuesday and began to research. Yes, this is how seriously I take my bouts of hunger. It involves research. After reading Yelp it appeared that both Cafe Rio and Rubio's had $1.50 tacos but Cafe Rio was a couple miles closer and Rubio's only had fish tacos on special so we opted for Rio. Upon walking up to the entrance, we realized were surrounded by children, which was curious. The place seemed like Chipotle-esque fast casual Mexican. Certainly kid friendly but it's not like there was a damn play place involved. We felt like we were at a day care. It was extremely confusing. So we get in line and have no idea what the hell is going on. It's hard to tell if they are an "order-off-the-menu" place or a "walk down the line and pick what you want you want" place. So I just shout three different types of meat at the guy behind the counter and hope for the best. Finally, it appears like I've reached the portion of the line where I will be dressing my tacos. "Do you want lettuce and pico de gallo" "Yes please" No other questions followed. I saw cheese. I saw beans. I saw rice. Were any of these offered to me? No. Finally when it became clear this was not a "point and get" situation, I asked the guy behind the counter if they had a hot salsa. "We have our Salsa Fresca, it's the hottest we have, and it's FREE!" Um, yes I would assume it's free considering you are a MEXICAN RESTAURANT and it is a side of SALSA. Lance and I both got 3 tacos, I got an iced tea, and our bill was $16.23. Now, I wasn't a math major, but that doesn't sound like $1.50 tacos to me. Turns out only one of the tacos we got was on special ($1.75, actually, though I did get my $1.50 number from Yelp so that's not their fault). Grilled chicken and steak were not on special. All of the sudden, Rubio's started sounding really good. We chose a corner table and proceeded to feed our starvation (did I mention that we were STARVING) while some Adderall-ridden 5 year old danced about 3 feet away from us. Yes, I said dance. Girl was jumping up and down like she was at a damn Ke$ha concert with absolutely no regard for the people around her, which was probably just as well because we were too busy stuffing our faces with dry chicken, diced tomatoes posing as pico-de-gallo, and lettuce. One thing I will say is the tortillas were delicious. We go to leave and see a sign by the register: Children 6 and Under Get a Free Quesadilla. Aha, mystery solved. Probably the most satisfying part of our visit. Moral of the story: There's a Chipotle across the street. There's a Rubio's two miles away. There's probably freaking peanut butter and Triscuits in your cabinet. All of these would be better options than wasting your hunger on this place. Unless you're under 6 in which case, quesadilla party at Cafe Rio.