Problem: OPTIONS:
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Answer: ...that seem to be fooling people into seeing qualities in this film that are just not there.

Near Dark covered the same territory but with much more class, and action.

why the script kept their 'big secret' so long was a total mystery to me - I guessed it at the breakfast scene at the start of the film. By the time it was revealed to the viewer it was just a case of 'big deal, tell me something I don't know.'

I found this to be pointless movie that may have challenged the genre conventions, unfortunately those conventions are that horror films are tense and packed with genuine sense of horror. This was woeful
An example of a movie review. negative (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive).

A: This is only a response to the yahoo who says this movie is more realistic than the classic, genre defining MASTERPIECE, Jaws. Yes, brainiac, great whites(and other species of shark, bull, black-tip, oceanic white-tip, tiger)have been known to populate areas where easy prey is found. Humans don't often make it onto that menu, granted, but the shark in the film was repeatedly pointed out to be exhibiting abnormal behavior. It's not like it's never happened. The odds of a killer whale destroying nearly a whole town, singling out a human nemesis, sinking several dozen thick hulled North Atlantic fishing boats and knowing when certain people, all friends of the aforementioned "nemesis", are close enough to the water for it to reach, are so slim as to be laughable. Much like this turd of a Jaws knock-off. Laughable. Great white sharks are also known to frequently chew on boats, protective underwater cages and people on rafts and surfboards, as they look like seals from below. A shark the size of Bruce(if you don't know, look it up)would be more than capable of sinking a boat like The Orca(hey! that's the name of the blatant rip-off we're discussing!), as it would weigh upwards of 6,000 lbs. I could go on, but I don't need to. Jaws is amazing(better acting, better effects, better music, better writing), Orca is crap(BLATANT rip-off of Jaws, lousy writing, abominable effects, most ridiculous plot this side of an Olson Twins flick). It doesn't take a masters from Columbia University to see that. Watch better movies.
Q: What's an example of a movie review?
An example of a movie review is here: I have seen a lot of bad films. Most of the time I can enjoy a crappy horror film for what it is. But this really takes badness to new extremes.

It is bland, the plot for what it is never really goes anywhere and takes its time over it. There are no shocks, no horror, no suspense, just a load of guys rubbing themselves for an hour and a half and then a quick finish.

A blight on the crappy horror genre, avoid at all costs.

Problem: Write a positive (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive) movie review.

Answer: Whilst it is universally acknowledged that Fearful Symmetry was heavily influenced by the Kolchak episode They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be, whether this makes it a rip-off or a homage is an altogether more controversial point. As a huge fan of both series I subscribe to the latter belief, although the less charitable may not do. James Whitmore was brave to take on the task of directing such a difficult episode, invisible elephants and gorilla suits sounds like a recipe for disaster, but he pulls it off with style, the teaser being an absolute gem. Lance Guest does a great job of making a credible character out of Kyle Lang and Jack Rader seethes with menace as Ed Meecham. Forget Fearful Symmetry's dubious originality and just enjoy it as a deeply satisfying X File.
Problem: OPTIONS:
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Answer: Documenting a documenter. That's one way to describe Keep the River on Your Right: A Modern Cannibal Tale. This film follows anthropologist Tobias Schneebaum, who in his late 70s went on a journey back to the places he spent time as a participant field researcher over 40 years ago, first to West Papua and then Peru. Tobias is a full-bodied character: a gay Jewish artist anthropologist who eeks out a living on a cruise ship teaching gawking tourists about the cultures he has come to have a deep respect and understanding for. Author of several books documenting his time with both the Asmat people of West Papua and the cannibalistic Amazonians in Peru, Tobias has been haunted by what happened in his time in these places and how intimate his connection and relationships had become. Yet Tobias' constant wonder and appreciation for the places he got to know is admirable and a real pleasure to watch. One can only hope to ever achieve and retain such humility themselves.

Tobias makes a compelling subject for study as the experiences he faced in immersing himself in these two tribal societies has left him fundamentally changed. This film challenges the notions of morality and "naturalness"- e.g. nudity, homosexuality, cannibalism. (Watch for the graphic circumcision scene). When questioned as to why he engaged in some of the local practices that others would morally denounce, his non-judgmental nature asks: "Why Not?" Who is to say the way of other cultures is right or wrong? This little sleeper is a must watch for not only National Geographic types, but also those interested in the art of documentary making. This film shows what can be done shot on video. The editing provides a quiet revelation of Tobias' life that leaves you watching in fascination. At times, he despairs at being pushed by the film crew to make the emotional journey back, especially considering his age and physical frailty. We can be but grateful that Tobias allowed the tables to be turned on himself, perhaps sympathising with the desire to understand humanity and one's place in the world. The filmmakers provide some moments of critical balance, presenting for example one anthropologist who believes that Tobias predetermined his findings (of homosexuality in this case) based on his personal interests. That said, you can't decide when to stop being shocked and when to take this man home for a cuddle. Move over River Queen, this is the best river ride I've taken in a while.
Problem: OPTIONS:
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Answer:
Enchanted April is a tone poem, an impressionist painting, a masterpiece of conveying a message with few words. It has been one of my 10 favorite films since it came out. I continue to wait, albeit less patiently, for the film to come out in DVD format. Apparently, I am not alone.

If parent company Amazon's listings are correct, there are many people who want this title in DVD format. Many people want to go to Italy with this cast and this script. Many people want to keep a permanent copy of this film in their libraries. The cast is spectacular, the cinematography and direction impeccable. The film is a definite keeper. Many have already asked. Please add our names to the list.