Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: I have walked out of about 6 movies my entire life. This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I don't know how I sat through an hour of it. I must have been in a coma that night. I saw it in the theatre when it came out 8 years ago. I couldn't even remember the name, but I knew that Penelope Ann Miller starred in it. It must have really affected me to be wasting my time commenting on it today. Yech! Vomit! Barf!

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: Got to this show late - believe it was the 3rd, and final episode, when first watched it - and was blown away by a social commentary that hasn't been seen on American TV since 'All in the Family'.

Was very surprised CBS would even run this in the first place.

Which is merely to say the last time CBS 'had a set' - if you know what I mean - was back in the day of 'All in the Family'. The most controversial decision they're willing to tackle today is how much eye make-up to put on Katie Couric.

If you want to make a bunch of folks really, really mad - let them discover the truth about themselves. And if you want them willing to pull strings, make calls, and get a work of Art removed - let them discover that truth by hearing their own words spoken from their own mouths.

The Aardman folks have always been WAY ahead of the curve. And this show is no different. Somehow it snuck under the CBS 'corporate/social/political/censor radar' to get it onto the schedule (perhaps the 'big brass' never really watched it till it finally aired?), but once good 'ol middle 'merika heard and saw themselves being themselves - well, can bet the farm that message, or the messenger, won't last long.

Now, if only the 'missing episodes' can find their way onto Usenet or bit-torrent ;-)

Thank You BC Kelly Tallahassee Fla

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: Black Candles is rather a muddled mess from the same director that brought us "Vampyres" and much later, "Rest in Pieces", among others..I'm only noting the ones I've seen. At any rate, we have a couple making love and then somewhere near by a pin is poised over a voodoo doll and then pierces it, and the man keels over. Not sure if it was good for either of them, at that point. Fast forward to where the man's sister has come to the house to investigate and hear the reading of the will, or something to that effect, and of course everybody else except her is in on something, which happens to be devil worship. It's really hard to say who is who at moments during the movie and it does get a bit confusing at times. To spice things up though, there's a simulated bestiality scene (I HOPE it's simulated) with a black goat, sure to be a crowd pleaser. Ugh. At times this echoes "Rosemary's Baby", minus the baby, because the hostess is always giving one woman herbal tea and the place reeks of whatever nasty Satanic herbs these are too, because that keeps getting remarked upon. However, the herbs aren't the only thing that reeks about this film. The end seems to be back to the beginning again, and many viewers might find themselves wondering where they've been during the middle part. It's not unwatchable, it's just not very good, and I guess it all depends on what you like to see in films, and there wasn't much here that did anything much for me. 3 out of 10.

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer:
THIS FILM IS LAME, LAME, LAME!!!!! It takes a lot to bring me to over-exaggeration about a movie, but this movie stunk up my house!! I haven't even finished the movie yet and I had to stop to comment on how bad this movie is. I'VE NEVER DONE THAT!! As a consumer, do not spend your money on this film. Wait until it comes out on a cable channel or something. It's barely TV worthy. I REALLY HATE TRASHING A MOVIE, BUT THIS MOVIE IS TRASH! Barely above porn. Should have and X rating! Good plot, some frontal nudity (if that floats your boat), but HORRIBLE high school level acting. Don't know how this movie received distribution. (Must have been a contractual thing.) Really, if you really like watching good movies, don't waste you time with this one. From one movie lover to another. YOU WILL BE MAD AT YOURSELF! Let me say this as well, if you've been through something like this perhaps you can relate and it will have some value for you. In that case I say watch it, you may take something away from it, if not just seeing something that's happened to you being acted out by someone else (has therapeutic value).