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Let yourself grieve. Embrace your independence. Detach yourself. Turn on the water works. Exercise regularly. Surround yourself with people who love, care for, and understand you.
Trying to block legitimate feelings or make short cuts around the grieving process will only prolong your heartache in the long run. By simply burying your emotions, they're bound to reemerge some day, only intensified. Although it can be difficult, focus on feeling every feeling and experiencing every heart pang because they'll make you a stronger person in the long run. Accept that you cannot avoid the uncomfortable feelings of withdrawal from your ex. You are not letting go because you want to, but because you have to in order to be the happiest and healthiest version of you. Recognize that every day brings you closer to healing and happiness. Be kind to yourself and accept that you will be functioning at a less than optimal level for a little while. Remember that no one and nothing can make you content except for yourself. You might feel a sense of power knowing that your happiness is in your hands alone. If at all possible, look at the upside of being alone. You get to make the decisions and are no longer defined by someone else. Spend some time exploring who you are now, and forge your own identity. Serving as your own support system means you won't be let down or disappointed. Engage in activities that you're ex didn't enjoy or wouldn't do with you. Eat foods that he didn't like and watch movies that he wouldn't see with you. Accept that for right now you're going to stand on your own two feet without your partner, and resist the urge to rush into another relationship. In doing so, you may come to understand realities about your previous relationship, or your ex, that you hadn't noticed before. View the relationship objectively, using your brain rather than your heart. Ask yourself if he was the kind of boyfriend that you would want for your best friend, sibling, or child. Consider if you had to do it all over again, would you choose this person as a partner. The answer may cause you to think about the relationship in a new way. Especially if the break up is still fresh, don't feel pressured to make any decisions regarding your old relationship or its future. Your ability to focus exclusively on healing will take some pressure off of the next few months. Remember that you broke up for a reason. The pain you're now experiencing is temporary, but it is likely there were real issues in the relationship that were permanent. Studies show that you really will feel better after a good cry. Emotional tears contain toxic biochemical byproducts, so ridding your body of them relieves stress and removes these substances.Even the physical feeling you get from shedding a few tears allows you to release your pain and begin the mending process. Another unexpected, but great, aspect to crying is that you're reminded how huge your capacity to care for others can be, and that you still have the ability to love. If you think you'd benefit from a good cry, but would like to do it in private, try taking a shower or going on a long walk to a secluded park. Walking, running, swimming and biking will actually offer immediate relief from your pain because staying active stimulates brain chemicals and increases serotonin, which advances the growth of nerve cells. You'll also gain valuable reflection time with which to ruminate and think over your feelings. You could come to some valuable conclusions this way. You'll not only enjoy physical health, but experience more energy to make it through the day. You'll feel satisfied on an emotional level for taking charge of your own mind and body. If you decide to join a group exercise activity, such as a spinning class or sports team, you may even form a valuable support system by making new friends. Don't be afraid to share your feelings with them. The more your support system understands what you are going through, the more helpful they can be. You may even find comfort in the fact that you can open up to and trust them, rather than depending on your ex boyfriend. Consider joining a support group filled with people who are going through the same experience you are. Sometimes it's easier to share your true feelings with strangers. If there is no one in your life you feel comfortable reaching out to, find a therapist or counselor who specializes in loss. Develop new friendships. Chances are that you didn't have as much time to form new bonds when you were with your boyfriend, or you may feel that you lost your network along with the break up. Take a class or volunteer so you have the opportunity to interact with others who you share the same interests as.