Once you've set a general goal, you need to start getting more specific and making a plan to reach it. A great first step is to do some free-writing. Get some paper and write down some thoughts about the following topics: Your ideal future Qualities you admire in others Things that could be done better Things you want to learn more about Habits you want to improve. This step is meant to help you fantasize and imagine many possibilities. After a few of these possibilities are out on paper, you can determine which ones are most important to you. Once you've thought about some goals and brainstormed a bit, its time to start getting more specific. Use your notes from the brainstorming session and your definitions from the previous section. Write down some specific things you would like to achieve or do. A vague goal like, "I want to play better, so I will do my best," is not as effective as a goal like "I want to be able to play my favorite song in six months." Poorly defined end goals or vague "do-your-best" goals are not as effective as specific goals. Move beyond general goals like "I want to become rich" and focus on specific achievements that will get results. Instead of "I want to become rich," your goal could be "I want to master investing in the stock market." Instead of "I want to play the guitar," your goal could be something like "I want to play lead guitar in a rock band." It's a good idea to do some more writing here, trying to describe your goals in as much detail as possible. One way to specify and evaluate your goals is to use the SMART method. This is an approach to goal setting in which you refine your goals by assessing whether they are: Specific Measurable Achievable Relevant and Time-bounded Many people have several goals. In fact, in your free-writing, you may have discovered that you yourself are already hoping to achieve more than one goal. If this is the case, it's a good idea to try to rank them in order of importance. Ranking your goals will help you focus on those that are the most meaningful to you. For example, you might want to earn a PhD in astrophysics, learn to play classical guitar, read the complete works of Tolstoy, and run a marathon. Trying to do all of these things at once is probably not realistic. Deciding which goals are most important can help you plan for the long and short term. Part of this process is assessing your level of commitment to each goal. A difficult or long-term goal that you aren't highly committed to is one you are unlikely to achieve. If you only sort of want a PhD in astrophysics, you probably shouldn't make that a priority in life. Spend some time thinking about how each of these goals will affect your life. This will help you determine the benefits of striving for each of your goals. Thinking in these terms will also help you visualize the process of striving for these goals. This can help boost your motivation. Most goals are more achievable if broken down into smaller tasks. These smaller tasks are subgoals--little goals that add up to the main goal you hope to achieve. For example, if you want to learn to play guitar, your first sub-goal might be to get a guitar. Your next might be to sign up for lessons. Next, you will want to learn the most basic chords and scales, and so on. Creating a schedule for these subgoals can help you stay focused and keep you on track. In the example above, you might aim to have enough money to buy a guitar in three months. You might plan sign up for lessons a week after that, learn the basic chords in another two months, and so forth. Last but not least, think about what obstacles could stand in the way of achieving your goals. Thinking about this in advance gives you a chance to come up with some ideas about how you will overcome those obstacles. For example, you might find that guitar lessons are more costly than you can afford right now. This could lead you to think about ways to get more money for lessons. Or, you might consider the possibility of teaching yourself using instructional books or videos.
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One-sentence summary -- Brainstorm in writing. Get specific. Consider using the SMART method. Rank your goals. Envision the impacts. Create subgoals. Identify obstacles.

This requires you to get closer to the wasps than the others, so it's recommended against if you're allergic to wasps. Rather than normal insecticides which are potentially dangerous for your family, this requires no harmful ingredients. For this method, you will only need an empty spray bottle, water, witch hazel, and peppermint essential oil. Fill it almost to the top with half distilled water and half witch hazel. Add 30-50 drops of peppermint essential oil. The peppermint oil will stick to the wasps, making it difficult for them to fly and will lead to their hasty demise.
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One-sentence summary -- Be careful. Find the things you need. Make your solution. Spray it on the wasps in your home as they come along.

During those daily discussions, you shouldn't just talk and tune out. When your partner is talking, really listen. Get to know them again. Listen to their worries, concerns, frustrations, and joys. Building intimacy means sharing thoughts with each other and caring about what your spouse says and thinks. Be an active listener by restating what your spouse says or summarizing what they've told you. You may say, "So, you're saying that..." or "Let me see if I understand this correctly..." Prompt your spouse to continue by using short, one-word responses. For example, you may make noises of understanding or encourage, or ask questions like, "How?" or "Oh?" or "And then what happened?" Address their feelings by saying things like, "It seems like you're feeling upset/scared/anxious/depressed/happy" or "I am glad you trusted me enough to share this with me." Maintain eye contact while your spouse talks. Don't think about other things, like what you need to do or what you want for dinner. Keep your attention focused on your spouse. While sharing pieces of your day and talking about random things helps increase intimacy, it is also important to discuss more important things. This may include deeper questions on a personal or philosophical level. These questions get deeper into the way your spouse thinks and why they think that way. For example, you may ask your partner why they love travel so much, why they need to do something a certain way, or where they learned a habit from. Ask them about how their background and childhood has influenced the way they view the world. Talk to your partner about their goals and dreams. You may have done this when you first got married, but what people want changes over the years. Talk about why you both want from life based on where you are right now. You may say, "When we first got together, you loved to travel. Where would you like to go? Why do you want to go there? I'm interested in knowing this about you." You may also try, "You've always been very punctual and insistent about not being late. Why is this so important to you? Have you always been like this?" Ask your spouse, "Did your childhood influence your political/religious/moral beliefs?" or "What are your goals and dreams? We haven't discussed them in a long time, and I really want to know what is important to you now." If you and your partner are struggling to build intimacy despite working on it, you may want to see a marriage counselor. They can help you learn communication skills and work through issues that may be impeding your progress. A marriage counselor can provide you with couples exercises that will help you work on emotional and physical intimacy. This can help if you aren't sure where to start building intimacy or if one of you disagrees that there are intimacy problems.
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One-sentence summary --
Listen to your spouse. Talk about important things. Seek counseling.