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Prepare these in advance, so you can say them quickly as though they were part of a natural conversation. These sentences and words make sense, but many people will not be able to untangle the meaning. Here are a few that you can adapt to other subjects: "I wouldn't be talking to you about this if I didn't think that I wasn't alone in my views." (An unnecessary amount of negatives, meaning "I think we agree.") "The government plans to raise taxes were defeated." (The word "government" and the word "plans" can both be two parts of speech, and the listener must switch their interpretation halfway through.) "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." (A meaningless truth.) For example, say "That reminds me of my father's ex-roommate's friend's dog who loves eating samosas." You can make up these connections, or trace actual paths to friends or family you know. If you want to trigger mild surprise or a laugh, this is a good tactic to choose. Expand your vocabulary and practice slipping unnecessarily lengthy or obscure words into a conversation. This is more likely to work on people who don't know you well, and on people who don't have a larger vocabulary than you. Here are a few example sentences: "It's a good idea, but could you iterate on the excogitation?" (Could you think it through again in more detail?) "Velleity led me here, but I had a convivial experience." (I came here on a whim, but I had a pleasant time.) When in a group conversation, choose one of the people you're talking to and act as though you both know an incredible secret. Occasionally, when a different person makes an ordinary remark, turn to the selected person and laugh, wink, or nudge them. This works best if the other person is in on the joke, but with practice and finesse you can keep a conversation moving fast enough that an unwitting target doesn't have a chance to deny the in-joke.

summary: Use long, complicated sentences. Drop references to obscure connections. Use complex vocabulary. Pretend you have an in-joke with someone.

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Windows 8 includes a new boot manager, which is the software your computer uses to determine which operating system to load. This means that if you want to dual-boot Windows 7 and Windows 8, Windows 8 needs to be installed last, or Windows 8 won't be able to boot. Before installing your two operating systems, you'll want to make sure that any important data has been safely backed up to a secure storage location. Installing operating systems will wipe anything that's currently on the disc. Click here for detailed instructions on backing up your data. Insert the Windows 7 DVD into your computer and boot from it to begin the Windows 7 installation process. Select "Custom (advanced)" as your installation type and follow the prompts until you get to the "Where do you want to install Windows?" screen. Click here for details on starting the installation process. The "Where do you want to install Windows?" screen allows you to create and format partitions on your hard drive. A partition is a segment of your drive that is formatted separately and given its own drive letter. Each partition acts like a separate hard drive. Note: If you have two separate physical drives, you don't have to worry about partitioning, as you can install each operating system to its own drive. Click the "Drive options (advanced)" option. Delete all of your existing partitions. All of the space on your drive will be combined into one chunk of "Unallocated space". Select the unallocated space and click "New". Set how large you want the Windows 7 drive to be. Repeat this to create the partition for Windows 8 (you'll use it later but creating it now makes things easier down the road). Make sure each partition is at least 25 GB, more if you plan on installing a lot of programs. Follow the guide linked above to finish the installation as normal. Once Windows 7 has been successfully installed on the first partition, you can go ahead and install Windows 8 on the second partition. Click here for detailed instructions on installing Windows 8. Select "Custom: Install Windows only (advanced)" for the installation type. Make sure you select the correct partition in the "Where do you want to install Windows?" screen. The one with Windows 7 installed on it will be marked "System" in the "Type" column. After installing Windows 8, it will be set as your primary operating system. It will start automatically if you don't select an operating system from the boot manager. If you'd prefer to automatically boot into Windows 7, or want to adjust the time that you have to select your option when the computer starts up, you can make changes to your computers boot settings from within Windows 8. Press Win+R, type msconfig, and press Enter Click the Boot tab. Select the operating system you want to automatically boot to and click Set as default. Change the time you have to select your operating system when the computer starts by changing the "Timeout" value. Click Apply when you are satisfied with your changes.

summary: Start with Windows 7. Backup any important data. Start the Windows 7 installation. Create two different partitions. Proceed installing Windows 7 on the first partition you created. Insert your Windows 8 disc and install it after installing Windows 7. Boot into Windows 8. Change your boot settings.

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It's usually at the bottom-left corner of the screen. Windows periodically checks for updates and installs them automatically. You can still use this method to check for updates that have been released since the last update check ran. After Windows installs an automatic update, it may prompt you to reboot your computer. If you see a message asking you to reboot (or schedule a reboot), follow the on-screen instructions to do so. It's toward the bottom of the menu. It's the option with two curved arrows. It's at the top of the right panel. Windows will check for updates. If no updates are available, you'll see a message that says Windows is up to date. If updates are available, they'll download automatically. The progress appears at the top of the right panel below Updates available. Leave this window open as the update installs so you'll know whether you need to restart your computer. If you see a message that says Restart required after running the update tool, you can either reboot now, or schedule a reboot for later. To reboot now, save anything you're working on, close all applications, and then click Restart now (on the Windows Update window). To schedule a reboot for later, click Schedule the restart (on the Windows Update window), slide the switch to the On (blue) position, and then select a time you won't be busy on the computer. If the update fails or you receive an error, try the following troubleshooting steps: Make sure your computer is connected to the internet. Try restarting the computer and running the update tool again. If the update still fails, return to Settings Update & Security and click Troubleshoot on the left panel. Click Windows Update under Get up and running, and then follow the on-screen instructions to fix the problem.
summary: Click the Start button. Click Settings . Click Update & security. Click Check for updates. Restart your computer when prompted. Troubleshoot a failed update.