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If you find yourself in a tense situation, the best thing you can do is to try to defuse the situation. In order to reduce the tensions, keep your cool. Staying calm can have a calming effect on the people around you. Take a deep breath. If you feel yourself tensing for a fight, focus on your breath. Breath in slowly, and exhale slowly. Take a moment to think. If someone starts teasing you in the hallway, your impulse might be to take the bait. Instead, pause. Say to yourself, "If I fight, someone will get hurt and probably in trouble. I'm going to stay calm." Make it a habit to breathe and think before speaking or acting. Your actions might result in others staying calm, too. A great way to defuse a dangerous situation is to draw attention to something else. For example, if someone pushes you in the cafeteria, don't respond to the physical aggression. Instead, look for a way to shift the attention. Try saying something like, "Didn't the bell just ring? I'm going to have to ignore you and head to Spanish." You can also change the subject completely. If someone bumps into you aggressively on the way to class, turn to a friend and say, "Did you see that baseball game last night?" Shifting the focus can help to ease tensions. By paying attention to something else, you are decreasing the likelihood of a fight. A good laugh can instantly lighten the mood. If you find yourself in a situation where a fight could arise, try to say something funny. Using humor to defuse a situation can be very effective. If you show that you are relaxed enough to make a joke, the person who wants to fight might back down. Say something funny to ease the tension. Don't make jokes that will hurt someone else's feelings. Instead, try to just find the irony or humor in the situation. Maybe someone is taunting you for studying during lunch. Laugh and say, "It may be boring now, but it will be nice to get into a great college!" If you are self-assured, you will be less likely to feel the need to fight. When you are confident in yourself, you will feel able to handle tough situations in a mature way. There are a lot of ways you can build your confidence and portray it to others. Focus on your strengths. If someone is teasing you about your clothes, think to yourself, "At least I'm awesome at soccer!" Practice dealing with difficult situations. Take time to think about how you will respond if approached for a fight. If you practice your response, you will feel much more confident in the moment. For example, you can practice saying something like, "I have better things to do than to fight." Not all fights are physical. Someone may be trying to pick on you by saying harmful things. There are some ways that you can cope effectively with verbal aggression. One way to cope with a bully is to ignore him or her. If someone is teasing you, just walk away. Another tactic is to remain calm. Try saying, "You know, I can't think of a good reason to keep talking to you when you're acting like this." Make it clear that you have no desire to fight. If you are not engaged in the situation, it will likely blow over.
Stay calm. Shift the focus. Rely on humor. Be confident. Cope with insults.