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Try to make him his best self. Lead by example to help him improve. Allow yourself to be your best self. Show your independence. Encourage his independence. Be yourself
Everybody wants to be with someone who makes them a better person. It makes us feel good about ourselves and reassures us that we can be good people if we try. Make this guy the best version of himself by encouraging him to do the things he loves and giving him the space to do those things. However, don't push too hard. If he tells you dot back off, listen. Remember: don't be condescending, push unwanted advice and help, or try to change him into what you want him to be. Helping him to be his best self is about helping him make the changes that he wants in his life, not turning him into what you want him to be. Don't criticize him harshly when he does something bad or wrong. This will make him feel horrible and he will begin to feel bad when he is around you. Instead, if he does something you don't like, lead by example to show him a better way to be. You can certainly tell him when you don't like something he does, but don't be mean or controlling about it and help him find a good way to change. If his grades are low and he struggles in school, set up a time to spend together studying and tutor him in subjects where you do better than he does. Don't do his work for him, but help him to realize that he can do it on his own and develop good study habits. If he has trouble holding down or finding a job, help him by showing the importance of good work habits or helping him look for a job. Offer to go with him to workshops for writing or building resumes, talk with him about ways that he could learn to enjoy work more, or help him find a job that he would be more interested in going to every day. It is especially important not to criticize him in public or in front of his friends or family. Show him that you excel as a person when you're around him. Show that he makes you a better person. Just as you look to see that he is better when he is with you, he will be looking for the same. Pursue things you love and make him feel included in that part of your life. Ask him for advice on how to better yourself. Be cautious, however, that he's not asking you to change something he shouldn't be. If you're concerned, ask a friend what they think. Show him that you are mentally and physically independent. You don't need him to do everything for you (although he should feel that he can help you sometimes) and that you have a mind of your own. It adds to his vision of you as a fully developed and interesting person with standards. He wants a partner, not a blow-up doll. Never be afraid of being totally honest about your likes and dislikes. Let him know what you think about issues and don't just agree with everything he says. Don't make him feel like he needs to spend all of his time with you. Don't make him your go-to source for weekend or Friday night plans. Encourage him to do things he loves and spend time with his friends by doing things that you love and spending time with yours. One of the reasons that many guys avoid relationships is because they feel it will trap them or keep them from doing things they like to do. Show him that if he's with you, this will not be the case. . If you're not, then how else would you know if he likes you for who you are? If you are pretending to be someone you are not, you will feel uncomfortable every time you are around him and that is the last thing you would like to happen. If you are uncomfortable around him, it would probably be hard to talk to him and if you can't talk to him, it will be hard to keep a relationship.