Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: We took a cab to Aria to see Zarkana, a Cirque Du Soleil show. I've already see Ka, Zumanity, and Love, and Mr. V didn't want to see water ones, so I selected Zarkana for the colors and the stage acrobatics. I don't really pay attention to the descriptions so much because they can get lost in adjectives, but maybe I should have? We had excellent seats, though - center stage on the comfy couches. They started on time, which was nice, letting us in about 30 minutes prior to the performance's start. One thing that kind of bugs me are the show pictures that are taken prior to the show beginning. I don't mind if we're taking normal pictures, but they wanted to pose us like prom, and twice I had to say no. I do not want to look like I'm 15. My skin? Yes. My pose? No. I will say this - I don't love this show. Some of the things that stand out are the performers missing their tricks and falling. Literally, one of the trapeze artists missed and fell into the net. He didn't do another flip for the remainder of the show. The ladder tricks were scarily unsteady, and the woman missed her finale. The clowns were a little strange, which is fine because I don't like clowns and think they're all strange, but the acts when the curtains were falling...just meh. Mr. V was very unhappy, compounded because of the poor meal prior, so that didn't help. The story line was lost on me - I was thinking that it was a crazy mad scientist's dream or trying to revitalize an old circus (which is what I think it was supposed to be), but I never really knew from the story. They had one performer who made scenes from sand - SAND. I recognize the talent that is involved, or maybe it's a skill, but it doesn't belong in a Cirque show. EVER. However, I loved the singing and the music - especially the snake scene. That particular performer was wonderful and I was excited everything she came out on stage. The music on the sides of the stage were good, though I wish more drums or bass existed. But my love for drums can be fulfilled by Ka, so maybe I was asking too much of this Cirque show. It felt a little blander and a lot less exciting than the other shows, which was an overall disappointment.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: Service was excellent and so is the ambiance, but the food was just meh.

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A:
In Charlotte for business and wanted some good local fair. Fired up the Yelp and see Alexander Michael's getting awesome scores. The map says 1.5 miles away and I don't have a car - going to have to hoof it. Show up about 7:30pm on a Wed. Place wasn't crowded at all and I got sat right away. The staff was nice. I ordered the Fried Pickles as an appetizer. Some people say they are too salty and I say, "Well, they're pickles." They get paired up with a cup of ranch, but I think they would have been better with Blue Cheese. Hint: use just a little ranch on your fried pickle. Next up was a bowl of Spicy Crab Soup. This is pretty much an enchilada soup with crab meat in it. Not that that's a bad thing. It's good soup. But spicy? No. No it is not. Main course is the Blackened Catfish Sandwich. This right here is what I'm talking about. The filet is a monster. A tasty, flakey monster. They pair it up with a tarter sauce (did I detect a pepper in there? Chipotle maybe?) and some kind of other sauce that was like a chunky salsa/sweet-n-sour thing. Doesn't matter. I dumped both of them on. It was tasty as all get out. I devoured the enormous sandwich. The side dish I chose was the Broccoli Slaw and honestly, it tasted like 'healthy'. Skip it. Do the cajun fries instead.