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You can't solve a problem if you don't know what it is, so the first thing to do is learn what worry feels like to you. Write down when you think you are worrying. It may help to start with writing down how you feel and then what is happening around you and the thoughts you are having. Notice how your body is feeling - are your muscles tense or maybe your stomach aches. You can then go back and analyze what led you to feeling the way you did. Ask people around you to help you identify when you're worrying. Sometimes when people worry, they ask a multitude of questions attempting to feel as though they know what is to come. Usually, people who worry will talk about it and their friends and family will know they are worrying. Having them point it out will help you learn about how you worry. Worrying lies in the unknown. It makes sense because the unknown can be frightening. There are a lot of what ifs wrapped up in the future. The problem with what ifs is that they may never become problems and you'll end up worrying for nothing. This is why worrying is unproductive. It's important when identifying worry to know if you are concerned about something that is actually happening or something that COULD happen. Write down what you're worrying about. Circle what is actually happening and cross out what is not happening but could happen. Focus on only what is happening because that's all you can deal with right now. It is ok to plan and prepare for the future, but once you have done so, accept that you have done all you can do for now. When thinking about situations, it can be easy to get off course and start thinking about what could happen. When you're in a stressful situation, it can be difficult to know if you are on the right path of dealing with it because of your worrying. Asking yourself if what you're thinking can help you get out of the situation. If it doesn't, you know you are worrying. An example of this is dealing with a car that has broken down. You need to get to work, but have no idea how you're going to get there with no car. You immediately start to think about how if you don't get to work, you're going to lose your job. You then think about how you won't have money to pay your rent, and you may lose your apartment. As you can see, you can quickly unravel. However, if you focus on the situation at hand, you won't have to deal with losing your job or apartment. That can be quite a relief since you really don't know if those things are going to happen. You love your children so much. You don't ever want anything to happen to them, so you take every precaution necessary to ensure they do not get sick. You stay up at night thinking about all of the ways they could have gotten hurt that day. Focusing on them being healthy, safe, and happy will allow you to spend quality time with them that they will benefit from, so bringing yourself back to the present will help you do that and end the downward spiral of worrying. Some people worry about the past and how it has affected them. Other people worry about what they do now and how it will affect their future. There are even people who worry about all of them, so their past, present and future. Write down your worries to give you a sense of catharsis and relief in the moment. Use a journal to write down what you worry about each day. You may choose to do this at the end of the day or just jot a worry down every time you have one. Use your smartphone to type in each one of your worries. You can use the memo app or an app for journaling.
Know what worry is. Separate what is and is not reality. Ask yourself if your thoughts are productive. Write down the things you worry about from the past, present and future.