Once you've begun to heal, you can start to wrap your mind around the fact that it's going to take a long time to get over your ex. This isn't just an ordinary high school break up, or even the end of a relationship that lasted a few years. A marriage required a bigger commitment and likely left you with more baggage, whether it's deciding who should keep the house or deciding how the kids' visits should go. The sooner you accept that you won't be able to get over the divorce in a matter of weeks, you'll be able to deal with it more quickly. Though you may blame your ex for the end of the marriage, it's likely that you weren't completely blameless in the process. There must have been at least a few occasions where you could have acted differently, and you must have a few character traits that you'd like to work on to ensure success in your future relationships. Make a list of all of the qualities you'd like to change about yourself and make a game plan for addressing them. This will give you a positive way to occupy your time and will make you feel less anger about the end of the relationship. Don't make yourself even more overwhelmed. Addressing your shortcomings doesn't mean feeling like you're an unworthy person full of negative qualities. Though you may think that rushing into a new relationship will help you take your mind off of your ex, it will actually make you feel worse to jump into a new relationship when you're not nearly over the old one. Dating someone new will make you constantly compare that person to your ex, and to use up a lot of emotional energy for dating the new person while also trying to deal with your failed relationship. No only will rushing into a new relationship make it harder for you to get over the old one, but it will also cause pain for the other person you're trying to date. Though you may have strong feelings of regret or even hatred toward your ex after your divorce, but dragging your kids into it will only make things worse and will cause great pain and confusion for your children. Even if you and your ex are at each other's throats, you should keep the tension away from your kids and not let them see it, or they'll feel like they're caught in the middle and won't be able to enjoy their time with either you or your ex. Don't say anything negative about your ex to your kids. This will make them feel confused and hurt. When you see your ex to drop the kids off, try as hard as you can to at least be cordial. Kids will have an intuitive sense that things aren't going well between you and your ex already, so you should try as hard as you can to make things seem normal. You may have been thinking about going back to school, moving across the country, or quitting your job to pursue a new career already, but you should put the big decisions on hold for a little while until you feel a bit more stable. Wait at least a few months before making a major, life-altering decision to make sure that it isn't just the divorce talking. If you make a major life decision right after your divorce, then you may have to deal with too much adjustment at once. Wait until you feel a bit more level-headed about the divorce and then consider the other decision. When people hear that you're getting a divorce, your ears will immediately be filled with a flurry of well-intentioned advice, a lot of which will be useless or won't apply to you. You may be told to have a romantic fling, stop believing in love, try to move on immediately, or to try to stay so insanely busy that you won't have time to breathe. However, you'll have to find your own path instead of following all of the advice that you'll hear. Every relationship is different, and so is the end of any relationship -- therefore, you'll have to decide which advice is helpful and to find your own path to happiness.

Summary:
Prepare for a long process. Admit your shortcomings -- and work on them. Don't rush into a new relationship. Don't drag your kids into it. Avoid making big decisions right away. Find your own path to healing.