Q: If you know you'll be spending the day with a relative you dislike, make sure you come into the situation as prepared as possible. If this person brings out an aggressive or testy side of you, make sure you get a good night's sleep the night before. If you're feeling tired and grumpy at the family Christmas party, leave early. And make sure you've eaten, too: if your blood sugar is stable, you're less likely to become angry or aggressive. If someone belittles you, talks down to you, or says mean things to you, it's important to remember that this is more a reflection of the person than it is of you. Stand firm and remember who you are. Do your best to tune out the words, and remind yourself, "This is not about me. This is my aunt's projection." People are often mean because they have their own personal issues they are dealing with. This can happen when people have low self esteem, anger issues, or stress. Have compassion for your relative; pray that he or she finds hope one day. Other people might act a certain way and truly believe it is okay and normal. This can be caused by a number of factors, but one example might be a person who lets their competitive and cutthroat business style seep into their personal life. Some individuals simply don't have the biological tools needed to feel empathy. This may be brought about by genetic differences or by the way someone was brought up (i.e., the environment they grew up in). There's likely nothing you can do to change the person whom you don't get along. You may have a fantasy of a happy family celebrating every holiday together, and when this relative comes, it crushes that fantasy. It's up to you to drop this fantasy and accept that this is the family you have, and that fantasy is nothing more than a happy and nice thought that's not based in reality. Instead of approaching this relative in judgment and disgust, practice being accepting and empathic. Listen when your relative talks and try to understand this person's point of view. Practice loving compassion for this person. Take a deep breath and look at your relative. Then think, "I see you, and I see that you suffer and are in pain. I don't understand your pain, but I see that it is there and I accept that it affects me for the time being." While you may dread family gatherings specifically because you hate having to spend time with difficult relatives, undoubtedly you can find something that you can look forward to or feel grateful for in meeting with your family. Maybe you're excited to see your nieces and nephews, or happy you get to cook (or not cook). Find things to be grateful for even before you arrive to the family function. That way you can go into the situation already feeling thankful. If you have a hard time moving past the hurt and pain the relative has caused, you may benefit from therapy. A therapist can help you work through feelings, find coping mechanisms, see things from a different perspective, and help you work through underlying feelings of depression, anxiety, or other diagnoses. You may also consider family therapy if you wish to engage your relative in therapy with you. While it may be difficult, it can help you confront difficult topics and discuss them with your relative.
A: Take care of yourself. Remember it's not about you. Realize you can't change this person. Accept your relative. Find reasons to be grateful. See a therapist.

Q: One of the earliest signs of kidney issues is microalbuminuria, which is the presence of protein and albumin in your urine. Often diabetic patients with kidney damage show no overt symptoms, and no changes to their urinary patterns or frequency. Therefore, it is important to request specific tests such as this one from your doctor, as it is the easiest way to detect any damage to the kidneys in the early stages. Protein in your urine (as detected on the microalbuminuria test) is usually a red flag that your kidneys are not in optimal health, and that it is time to begin steps to prevent any further damage. This test is recommended to have once a year. If you have type 1 diabetes, testing should begin five years after diagnosis. If you have type 2 diabetes, testing should begin annually starting at the time of diagnosis. What starts as small amounts of protein in your urine (called "diabetic nephropathy" by medical doctors), if left untreated eventually progresses to chronic kidney disease and ultimately to kidney failure. This is why showing up for regular testing, and then following your doctor's advice for lifestyle modifications and medical treatment, is key to delaying or altogether preventing the development of long-term kidney disease and kidney failure. Your body will begin to retain fluid because when your kidneys start to fail, they become less able to remove excess water from your body. When this occurs, you will experience swelling around your ankles and feet because your body is holding on to fluid. One of the main signs of fluid retention is the skin around your eyes becoming puffy. When your kidneys stop working, they have a harder time processing toxins that they can normally deal with. This will cause these toxins to accumulate in your body, which will keep your body from functioning normally. One of the first things that will be affected by this toxin accumulation is your appetite. Your kidneys process all of the good and bad stuff that you put into your body. When they stop working properly, waste will build up in your body. This waste buildup can actually cause your skin to become irritated, which will result in your feeling itchy. When your kidneys stop processing waste, toxins can build up throughout your body. This means that toxins can also accumulate in your brain, making it harder for you to function properly. This can result in you having a hard time concentrating on anything for a long period of time. Muscle cramps, nausea, and vomiting can occur because of an imbalance of electrolytes in your body. Electrolytes are ions that are found in the body that help to maintain the normal functioning of the body. When you don't have enough electrolytes, your muscles can cramp up. At the same time, you may begin to feel nauseous, which may cause you to vomit. The most common electrolytes include sodium, potassium, phosphorus, and calcium. Ascites is the medical term for a swollen abdomen caused by an accumulation of fluid. When your body accumulates fluids because your kidneys are not working properly, your abdomen will more than likely swell up.
A:
Have your doctor test for microalbuminuria. Understand the progression of kidney disease. Look out for signs of fluid retention. Take note if you experience a lack of appetite. Be aware of itchiness as one of the later symptoms of kidney failure. Talk to a doctor if you find that you are having trouble concentrating. Watch out for muscle cramps, nausea and vomiting caused by an electrolyte imbalance. Check to see if your abdomen is swollen.