Q: Exclusion is not just embarrassing or stigmatizing, but actually quite painful. The pain of exclusion triggers the same part of your brain that physical pain does, meaning that ostracism is not just a blow to your ego. Understand that you will feel uncomfortable feelings and that letting yourself grieve in this situation is as important as keeping a broken arm in a sling. You wouldn't be out the very next day pitching a baseball game, would you? Try taking a day to yourself to process what happened. Don't be afraid to burst out sobbing, listen to sad music that matches your mood, or yell into a pillow if you feel angry and frustrated. These feelings will pass if you express them. Focus your efforts on making friends and developing relationships that you feel comfortable falling back on. For example, try finding a confidant--someone who you can trust to listen and be understanding when you need to talk about serious personal issues (and vice versa). This way, even if you venture out and take some risks socially, you know that you will never be left without anyone to turn to. Some of the pain of rejection comes from the fact that many of us have rigid standards and "shoulds" for what a social life should look like. Remember that it's not always realistic to expect to be a social butterfly with tons of different groups clamoring for your time. Satisfying social lives come in many forms, and it is the quality of relationships, not how many you have, that makes you feel connected and included For many people, having one or two deep friendships with lots of care and time involved is more fulfilling than having many friends who are hard to connect with one-on-one. . When you are confident in yourself, fewer and fewer social encounters really feel like exclusions (even if you get just as many invites as you did before developing your confidence!) Confidence is a state of mind that involves understanding that regardless of how you feel now, there will always be a place for you and all of the unique gifts that you bring to the table. Trust in the fact that the cards fall the way they do in order to teach you something meaningful. The hard part is dropping your expectations and beliefs about how things "should" turn out. Focus on past successes and the qualities that you have that contributed to that success. Use these qualities to improve other parts of your life, like making new friends. One common reaction to exclusion is to play the role of the victim by pouting and moping in excess. But, being a victim signals to other people that you expect to be befriended. This is typically not an attitude that draws people in, and it can make you put less effort into making friends without you even realizing it. If you have been excluded consistently in one domain (like school or work) or by the same group of people, do whatever you can to avoid painful reminders of exclusions. Of course, this can't be done completely--nor should you dedicate too much energy to escaping the memory. Just make efforts not to engage with specific people or return to the scenes of exclusion when possible. Since exclusion is such an emotional event, memory triggers can still bring painful feelings well after you make peace with what happened. For example, if your excluders are your peers at school you might not be able to avoid them in class. However, try to have as little face time as possible at lunch and after classes. The endorphins that are released during cardiovascular exercise are notoriously helpful for elevating mood. Especially if feeling excluded is contained to one event, this can help you deal with the immediate emotional aftermath. Try to integrate brisk walks into your routine, at the minimum, or try activities like running, cycling, swimming, and high intensity yoga. You may want to consider taking the suggested dose of acetaminophen (like Tylenol) at night when you go to sleep and in the morning waking up. Doing this can help diminish the hurt feelings that usually arise with social rejection because it lowers the sensitivity of our neural censors for pain. OTC medications such as acetaminophen have a risk of side effects. You should check with your doctor before taking any medication, especially if you plan to use acetaminophen for an "off label" purpose (off label meaning that you are taking the drug for reasons other than what the FDA has approved it for treatment of a condition, the conditions that are listed on the label). When exclusion occurs frequently or one instance stays on your mind for a long period of time, you can feel seriously devastated. Since depression, substance abuse, and suicide are common for people dealing with long-term ostracism, take steps to get a handle on your feelings as soon as possible. Psychologists can help you talk through these feelings and make behavioral modifications that will be more likely to bring about success socially.
A: Let yourself grieve. Foster fulfilling relationships. Choose to value quality over quantity. Focus on self-confidence Remove reminders of the excluders. Get active. Consider taking over-the-counter pain medication. Seek therapy.

Q: Grease and flour a 9" by 13" pan by spraying some nonstick spray (like Pam) on the bottom and all four sides of the pan and then sprinkling a light coat of flour on top. Preheat your oven as directed on the cake mix box, usually to 350 degrees. Pour into the mixing bowl the other ingredients and stir it in with the cake mix. Add the vinegar, vanilla, and applesauce and mix the ingredients together. Basically, one cup of applesauce per box of cake mix acts as a fair substitute for the required amount of eggs and oil. In a typical cake (if you were making this without the box), one cup of applesauce replaces the two eggs usually asked for. Pour the water into the mixing bowl and stir it into the batter. Use a whisk to make sure you smooth out any lumps that might form and keep stirring until all of the ingredients are mixed together into one consistent mixture. Don't forget to smooth out the surface of the batter using a flat knife or the back of a spoon. Note: Be careful not to splash any of the batter on the edges of the pan; these pieces will burn and become inedible. Look at the baking directions on the cake mix box and follow them. You will probably bake it for 30 to 40 minutes. Make sure you check on the cake periodically to ensure that it's not being baked for too long. Remove the cake from the oven and allow it to stand on the counter for 15 to 30 minutes before serving. Otherwise, it may be too hot for you to eat. Note: You can also add frosting to the cake, but remember that this will add extra sugar and calories.
A: Prepare the pan and preheat the oven. Add the other ingredients. Add the water. Pour the batter into your prepared pan. Bake the cake. Let the cake cool before serving.

Q: This recipe for air dry clay can be made with ingredients you probably already have around the house. Check your pantry and assemble the following supplies: 2 cups baking soda 1 cup cornstarch 1 1/2 cups cold water Food coloring (gel or liquid) Old pot Whisk Bowl
A:
Gather your supplies.