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Create a plan for approaching your friends about their treatment of you. Know what you want to say to your friends about how they are making you feel. Choose a day and time to take your friends aside and talk with them. Be brave, and have the conversation. Allow your friends to share their side of the story. End the conversation politely if it begins to get confrontational and argumentative.
Once you have observed your friends' behavior and its trends, it is time to start thinking about how you are going to approach them about the issue. You will want to take care to be calm, rational, and supportive. It is important to confront your friends about this. You do not want to avoid them, because it will only let the bad situation continue. If it is multiple friends, decide whether you want to talk to them one-on-one or all together. If you talk to your friends separately, there is a good chance that the first person might tell the others what is going on. This could be a good or bad thing, depending on the dynamic of your friendship. Keep this in mind as you are choosing which option to do. Pick a method for staying calm, if the conversation starts to get heated. For example, you could take a few deep breaths, count to 10, or politely end the conversation for now with a promise to resume it later. Have a back-up plan to go to a trusted adult if the conversation does not go as well as you hope. Consider going to a parent, guardian, teacher, or guidance counselor to seek his/her help with the issue. It takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself in this way, and you want them to take you seriously and understand that they are hurting your feelings. Come up with a script or talking points of what you want to say. "I want to talk to you about how you've been making me feel lately." "You might not realize it, but you've said many things lately that have hurt my feelings. Sometimes you say these things to me, and other times, you say them about me to other people." "When you said (_________), it made me feel that you don't want to be my friend anymore." "Is there anything going on that you'd like to talk about? I know you've mentioned that things have been a little tough at home lately. I want to support you." "I really want to come to an understanding about this with you so that we can continue to be great friends." "I need you to respect my feelings, because this bothers me, and I otherwise really enjoy being friends with you." If you decided to talk to your friends all at once, this might be easiest to do at school or at a time when all of you are hanging out. On the other hand, if you decided to talk to your friends one-on-one, work out when you will do that. Explain that you want to talk about something that's impacting your friendship, take a deep breath, and explain what is bothering you. Show confidence by maintaining eye contact, having a conversation with them (instead of yelling at them), and giving them the opportunity to share their point of view. Have your script or talking points on paper with you so that you remember everything that you want to say. Avoid being mean or rude during the conversation. Again, this will only trigger negative reactions from your friends, which will not help you get to a resolution. There is the possibility that they have been mean to you because of something you said or did. Be open to listening to what they have to say. Avoid interruptions. This can make them feel like you don't care about their thoughts and feelings. Listen actively. When they are done talking, paraphrase what you heard them say: "I heard you say that..." Be compassionate. If there is an issue that is bothering them, but it has nothing to do with you, then support them by listening carefully and offering to help. These negative conditions are not conducive to coming to a resolution. "This is starting to turn into an argument, and I don't want to argue with you. Why don't we try discussing this again in a few days, when we've cooled off?" "I can sense that this is turning into a bigger conflict. I don't want to make the situation any worse, so I'm going to go ahead and end our conversation here for now." "I appreciate that you've taken the time to listen and talk with me, but our conversation is becoming really negative. Let's take a break." "I need some air. We'll talk later."