[Q]: Build a movie plot around this: Who rescues Sergeant Kilgore? Larry and Bill rescue Sergeant Kilgore.
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[A]: An army general (Glenn Morshower) addressing a bunch of assembled troops and stating that real heroes are hard to find these days.Meanwhile, diner waiter Larry (Larry the Cable Guy) is serving sandwiches at a local diner. His girlfriend Karen (Christina Moore) comes up to him and quickly tells him she's pregnant, and before she can stop him, he announces to everybody that she is pregnant and proposes to her. She then tells him that it is not his baby.Meanwhile, Bill Little (Bill Engvall) is talking about marriage with his neighbor (Michael Papajohn). The neighbor points out that most marriages end in divorce, and Bill says that it takes a lot to make a marriage work, such as incriminating photos of him with a girl who was just a good listener and eager to please at the local nightclub.Elsewhere, a man opens up a storage shed to see the leotard-and-leopard-skirt (with a porn-star mustache) clad Everett (DJ Qualls) watching TV. He reprimands Everett for living here when he just works here and berates him for having been a cop for only four days.Sometime later, the three are getting set for their Monthly trip up to their deserted army recruitment camp; turns out these three are also army reservists and picking on Everett about his tendency to be trigger-happy is their form of entertainment.Meanwhile, on an army base somewhere, a Colonel gets a request for more troops for Fallujah and he pulls up the name of the base where the boys are staying and sends Sgt. Kilgore (Keith David) to assess the situation at the reserve base.Kilgore arrives there to find Bill and Larry eating chips and Everett out on a beer run. Pretty soon he has them going through an intense training regimen and not long after, they find themselves being shipped out. The day they leave, Everett and Bill are both making calls, Everett to his boss and Bill to his wife Connie (Lisa Lampinelli), but they are dragged off to a hangar by Kilgore. Once they're all gathered, Kilgore appoints Larry squad leader and marches them onto the plane.The plane is...

[Q]: Build a movie plot around this: Who is the baby's Godmother? Nerissa
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[A]: Dwight Putnum [Roger Rose] has just asked Kendall Gordon [Kimberly Foster]for the 10th time to marry him, but Kendall is still unwilling to commit. She hasthis idea that the perfect man for her is still out there. Vampire Zachary Simms [Adam Ant]has just awakened in his coffin from a 100 year sleep in the crypt underKendall's house and comes out through the secret door in her fireplace toface the brave, new world. When the two meet, it isn't quite love at firstbite, but Zachary spends the next day in her bed anyway, which reallyangers Dwight when he tries to put the make on Zachary, thinking that thelump under the covers is Kendall.It doesn't take long before Kendall and Zachary become friends, andZachary tells her how he came to be a vampire. He was born in England in1660 and moved to Boston in 1675. In 1688, he was bitten by a vampirenamed Nerissa, and they lived together for 100 years before she suddenlydecided to run off with a Washington politician. Zachary pined for Nerissafor the next 100 years and finally decided to sleep it off. Unfortunately,he forgot to wake up until another 100 years had passed.And, oh, how the world has changed. Zachary is entranced by suchdevices as refrigerators, electric lightbulbs, and cars that talk. Zacharyis also entranced by Kendall, and before long, they are a twosome. Zacharydecides to end his existence as a vampire and asks Kendall to help him in'reviving his digestive system' so that he can eat human food. Beforelong, Zachary is slurping down spaghetti and munching on pizza. When hefinds that he has a blood pressure, can go outside in the daytime, anddrinking blood makes him gag, he proclaims himself 'rehumanized.'Everything is going great, until 1) Zachary lands a job with Dwight'sinsurance firm, 2) Dwight hires Vinnie Helsting [Philip Bruns] to do a little detectivework on Zachary, and 3) Nerissa [Michelle Forbes] shows up wanting Zachary back.Zachary starts working the night shift in the data entry department.One night he discovers...

[Q]: Build a movie plot around this: Where was Mandela imprisoned? Robben Island.
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[A]: Invictus opens with the release of Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman) from prison in 1990. After being held for nearly 26 years on Robben Island for planning acts of sabotage against the South African state, Mandela's release also marks what soon becomes the end of apartheid in South Africa. A new election is held, which Mandela handily wins. For his oath, he gives a speech pledging to unite the people of South Africa. The current divide has largely divided the Afrikaners (white South Africans that came from Europe during the 17th century) and the various black tribes, the largest of which include Zulu, Xhosa, and Bapedi. The effects of Mandela's victory give rise to jubilation for much of the black population of South Africa, while the white Afrikaners and Zulu begin to feel that they're losing the country. This is punctuated by a squadron of cars carrying Mandela down a road, poor black kids playing soccer on one side, white Afrikaners playing rugby on the other. The coach of the National team, the Springboks, tells his team to remember this day, as it marks 'the day the country went to the dogs'.Mandela's head of security Jason Tshabalala (Tony Kgoroge) makes a request of Mandela concerning the team. He asks for more personnel to secure the president, the current team being made up of four blacks. Mandela's response is to hire four white former Special Branch members led by Etienne Feyder (Julian Lewis Jones). On first meeting, they clash due to deep-seated racial issues, yet are compelled to work out their differences. Seeing that he has no choice but to work alongside them, Tshabalala tells his black co-workers, especially Linga Moonsamy (Patrick Mofokeng), that while working together, they will watch the whites carefully.In his first days in office, the tension is palpable, as most of the former president's underlings (mostly Afrikaners) still hold their jobs. Worried that Mandela will fire them, they begin packing up their belongings, awaiting what they assume is the inevitable. Upon seeing this, Mandela...

[Q]: Build a movie plot around this: What is Frank's wife's name? Sarah
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[A]:
Frank Darbo (Rainn Wilson) is a meek fry cook at a diner who has had two perfect moments in his life: marriage, and assisting the police to apprehend a criminal. Now his marriage to Sarah (Liv Tyler) is beginning to crumble. He meets Jacques (Kevin Bacon), a stoner and friend of Sarah, who later runs off with her.Frank tries to get Jacques arrested, but detective John Felkner (Gregg Henry) won't do it, and tells Frank to find someone else to love. Watching a Christian-themed program on TV, Frank is impressed by a costumed hero, the Holy Avenger (Nathan Fillion), who represents the will of Jesus. Frank tries to confront Jacques, but is beaten up by his henchmen. Frank is later visited by the Holy Avenger in a dream, and decides to become a super-hero.Shopping for comic books, he meets Libby (Ellen Page), a clerk at the comic book store, who recognizes him from the diner where he works. He is inspired by the comic book, and becomes the Crimson Bolt. His first outing is a failure, and Frank goes back to the comic book store for inspiration, buying several comics on superheroes who have no real powers. After selecting a wrench for his weapon, he begins his assault on crime.Still in love with Sarah, he continues to watch her as henchman Abe (Michael Rooker) drives her to a mansion. His co-worker Hamilton (Andre Royo) asks him to save a place in line for a movie, and Frank has an altercation with another patron who butts into the line, sending him to ICU. Fearing prison, Frank discards his costume, but after watching another episode of the Holy Avenger, he gets it back.Frank stakes out the mansion, and sees Quill (Stephen Blackehart), Jacques, and Toby (Sean Gunn) doing drugs with Sarah. Jacques kisses her, and the Crimson Bolt smashes a window. The henchmen pull guns and he runs, taking a shot in the leg but escaping.Frank goes to Libby's apartment, where she's hosting a party, and reveals his identity. Libby is very excited and impressed, and she treats his wound. She offers to become his sidekick, and auditions...