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Make a list of all the weekly chores and who currently completes the task. In defining the mandatory tasks, you clear the first hurdle of your husband overlooking the tasks left undone. Moreover, identifying the exact chores can help both of you see what constitutes household work. Typical chores include: Tidying all areas of the house Laundry (washing, ironing, folding and putting away) Grocery shopping, plus other store visits Cooking, washing the dishes Bill payment and sorting Yard work, gardening and maintenance Getting children to any extracurricular activities, medical visits, etc. Pet care, including grooming, vet visits, feeding, etc. Schedule your date after a fun day or at the end of the work weekjust avoid booking time immediately following an argument or when something else has your husband's attention. Grab some wine, get away from the kids (and the TV), and bring your list to the date. Don't broach the subject of helping around the house during an argument or tense situation; you'll never get the help you need and deserve. Avoid treating your husband like a child or being bossy. This will only end in arguments and nothing will change. Also avoid pulling the martyr routine; all that does is have you continue to burn internally while everyone simply acknowledges that you put up with it even if they have to tolerate mumbling. Reference the tasks he performs already and talk about how his contributions make a difference in how well the family functions. Then go on to explain that because you feel as if you're taking on more than you can handle, you'd love him to help out more. Show him the list of tasks so that he can see the multitude of household chores in black and white. Tell him that his contributions would help maintain your energy levels and give your family more time to do things instead of waiting around while you finish the housework. Avoid yelling at your husband. No one responds well to being yelled at. If he feels scolded it may cause him to retreat. Keeping a home is a shared endeavor. Don't be afraid to point out chores that you need extra help on. If your husband is resistant, be patient. You may have to compromise at first. Pick two or three chores you really want him to do and work on those first. Let him know if you think certain chores could be done more effectively or quickly with his particular talents or temperament.
Determine what needs to be done. Make a date with your husband to discuss the chores. Begin by telling your husband how much you appreciate what he already does around the house and for your family. Be assertive.