Given the task definition and input, reply with output. You are given a review about a place. You need to provide a rating from "1 star" to "5 stars" for this place.

Let me start by saying that I often carry around a back pack. When the occasion calls for it I upgrade to a purse. But most of time I am traveling with munchkins with insatiable appetites, so I've got snacks in there for them and/or lots of books.

We go to this theater all the time, and I take my back pack there all the time too. But this time it created a problem.

We got our tickets and were happily standing at the concession counter ordering tons of overpriced, bad for you, food when this teeny, tiny, little teenage employee approached me and advises me that they are going to have to search my back pack. WTF??

They got a homeless guy out front smokin' a doobie with some teenagers, but they want to search my stuff?!?! But you see I was wrong about what they were looking for.

Knowing that I had nothing in my pack that was without prescription, (ho ho hee hee) I willingly handed it over to the mickey mouse club house member. She opens the first big zipper and finds, OH MY GAWD!!

RICE CAKES!!!

I am so busted. That's right she was lookin' for food contraband, not drugs! The first thing she says is, "yep, food" and she hands the pack back to me looking disgusted. She then advises me that I have to leave the pack locked in the office during the movie we came to see.

Because you know, even though we're standing there with food from the concession stand, we still might wanna eat them rice cakes instead!!!!

At this point everyone is looking, and my fellow movie companion is standing there eating his newly purchased popcorn enjoying the live action theater. I thought I wouldn't care if she wanted to hold on to it while I watch a movie, but my credit cards, cell phone, iPod and prescription drugs were the real items of value and that had me worried.

Thankfully for me all the contents of my pack were still there when I got it back from food police. However the movie sucked, I sat there the whole time wondering if her and her teenage friends were rifling through my pack.

All this because of rice cakes my friends. So the next time you dare purchase some, just remember it's better to use them as target practice than to mistakenly bring them into the theater!!!

Even though bringing in outside food was not my intention this time, I can say that next time I go, I think I'll wear a trench coat and inside I'll have bags of popcorn and cans of soda strapped to me so I can smuggle in the contraband and be an arsehole just for the heck of it.
2 stars