Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: Slow down everybody, let's not go overboard here. The food is mediocre, basically consisting of obviously pre-prepped items. Nothing tastes as if it were cooked from a raw state. The brussels sprouts were soggy and obviously re-heated prior to serving. The bar is lively and inviting so I suggest that you stop by for a drink at happy hour and then head to one of the many better restaurants in the area for dinner.

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A: Okay so this is your stereotypical Old Town Scottsdale night club. One caveat....they shoot confetti into the sky from little guns. Alright, I'm hooked. It's over crowded. And I don't mean with just people in general. I mean sweaty, overly intoxicated, overly "friendly" d's. You have to expect that going into a place where you'll wait in line for 45min if you don't have breasts, right? But again....the confetti. They have chicks that dance on the bar running around with a whistle and a bottle of liquor pouring shots into whomever is brave enough to step up to the bar. (This girl on her birthday! - no judgement needed.) Note to self: this liquid they pour into your mouth taste more like battery acid rather than actual alcohol, but hey, it's the experience. I have never even considered eating here being that I only force my friends into this establishment for special occasions.....or nights we've been over poured and feel like Superman. On my birthday we ventured in here for 30min-1hr. Enough time for a drink or two and a couple confetti showers. Heaven. If you haven't been I recommend at least going once to really experience a real "unce unce" night in Old Town. It will be everything you imagined. That is if you imagine things such as: sticky floors, tight shirts on men, girls with tube socks on bars, overly gel'd - spiked hair, tight/short dresses, long lines (outside and inside), ear drum bursting bass and CONFETTI. You're welcome.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A:
I bought a dozen confetti cupcakes with buttercream frosting for a party. I tried one and the cake was so dense and dry I decided not to bother bringing them to the party. Pretty disappointing considering how pricey they cost.