INPUT ARTICLE: Article: If you know you'll be spending the day with a relative you dislike, make sure you come into the situation as prepared as possible. If this person brings out an aggressive or testy side of you, make sure you get a good night's sleep the night before. If you're feeling tired and grumpy at the family Christmas party, leave early. And make sure you've eaten, too: if your blood sugar is stable, you're less likely to become angry or aggressive. If someone belittles you, talks down to you, or says mean things to you, it's important to remember that this is more a reflection of the person than it is of you. Stand firm and remember who you are. Do your best to tune out the words, and remind yourself, "This is not about me. This is my aunt's projection." People are often mean because they have their own personal issues they are dealing with. This can happen when people have low self esteem, anger issues, or stress. Have compassion for your relative; pray that he or she finds hope one day. Other people might act a certain way and truly believe it is okay and normal. This can be caused by a number of factors, but one example might be a person who lets their competitive and cutthroat business style seep into their personal life. Some individuals simply don't have the biological tools needed to feel empathy. This may be brought about by genetic differences or by the way someone was brought up (i.e., the environment they grew up in). There's likely nothing you can do to change the person whom you don't get along. You may have a fantasy of a happy family celebrating every holiday together, and when this relative comes, it crushes that fantasy. It's up to you to drop this fantasy and accept that this is the family you have, and that fantasy is nothing more than a happy and nice thought that's not based in reality. Instead of approaching this relative in judgment and disgust, practice being accepting and empathic. Listen when your relative talks and try to understand this person's point of view. Practice loving compassion for this person. Take a deep breath and look at your relative. Then think, "I see you, and I see that you suffer and are in pain. I don't understand your pain, but I see that it is there and I accept that it affects me for the time being." While you may dread family gatherings specifically because you hate having to spend time with difficult relatives, undoubtedly you can find something that you can look forward to or feel grateful for in meeting with your family. Maybe you're excited to see your nieces and nephews, or happy you get to cook (or not cook). Find things to be grateful for even before you arrive to the family function. That way you can go into the situation already feeling thankful. If you have a hard time moving past the hurt and pain the relative has caused, you may benefit from therapy. A therapist can help you work through feelings, find coping mechanisms, see things from a different perspective, and help you work through underlying feelings of depression, anxiety, or other diagnoses. You may also consider family therapy if you wish to engage your relative in therapy with you. While it may be difficult, it can help you confront difficult topics and discuss them with your relative.

SUMMARY: Take care of yourself. Remember it's not about you. Realize you can't change this person. Accept your relative. Find reasons to be grateful. See a therapist.

INPUT ARTICLE: Article: If you have chronic pain and don't necessarily need immediate relief, consider applying a dry heating pad. Just like moist heat, dry heat can increase blood flow and oxygen supply and relax tender muscles. Unlike moist heat, you can apply dry heat for longer periods of time over the course of the day. Understand that using dry heating pads can dry out your skin. Use dry heating pads for up to 15 minutes every hour or two. You can easily fashion a dry heating pad with a few items you have around your house. You can either sew them into a proper heating pad for re-use or use it only while you're experiencing pain. Gather the following items: A piece of cloth such as a sock, pillowcase, or cloth bag. You can also take a handkerchief or washcloth and sew the ends together to make a pack. Some type of filling such as rice, flaxseed, buckwheat, or oatmeal. A needle and thread if sewing your pack. You can also add a soothing oil such as lavender essential oil to your pack. This can help you further relax. No matter what you've decided to use to fashion your heating pad, put it together before you use it. If you're sewing one together from cloth, make sure to use tight stitches to minimize the risk of filling falling out. Check your cloth piece, tube sock, or pillowcase for holes. If you find any, either sew those or select a different type of pad to use. Fold over the piece of cloth and sew together each side except one where so that you can add your filling. Make sure the stitches are close together and tight to prevent leaking. Once you're heating pad is sewn or ready for use, add your selected filling. Make sure the pad is sealed tightly so that none of the filling can fall out. Use any type of filling you like. Rice, flax seed, buckwheat, and oatmeal are excellent options because they have small grains that can easily spread over a small or large area. You can also try dried beans such as pinto, kidney, or lentils. Avoid overfilling the pad. Put enough in it to let it move across the area you want to heat. For example, you might want to put between 4 and 6 cups of uncooked rice in a large tube sock. Place a couple of drops of your favorite essential oil in the filling for a pleasant smell and the benefits of aromatherapy. Sew the unsealed end of the heating pad if fashioning your own from cloth or a pillowcase. Close up a sock by knotting it at the open end. Place your heating pad in the microwave to warm up the filling. The heat from the filling can help relax your muscles and relieve tension. Heat the filling in the microwave for 1-3 minutes. This can warm up the filling to a comfortable temperature for you and prevent it from exploding. Remove the pad slowly from the microwave to minimize the risk of burning yourself. Allow the pad to cool if it is too hot or re-heat it if it isn't warm enough. When the pad is at an optimal temperature for you, lay it on your skin. Place a thin cloth or towel under the pad to minimize your risk of burning yourself. Leave the heating pad on the area for treatment for no longer than 20 minutes. If you continue to have pain, you can repeat application of your dry heating pack every 1-2 hours for 15-20 minutes. Talk to your doctor if your pain persists for a long period of time.

SUMMARY:
Be aware when to use dry heat. Gather materials to make your pad. Put together your heating pad. Fill and seal the heating pad. Microwave your heating pad. Lay the pad on your skin. Repeat application.