Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer: I want to like this place, I really do--Mother LOVES it, so we come frequently. Beautiful place, really beautiful, you'll forget you're in the City and the desert. Top notch staff generally, very professional. Sit on the patio. BUT...the food. Just very marginal in my opinion. I sigh and groan inwardly when Mother wants to go there, but I soldier on. But this last meal......................I had to write. Monkey Bread. Ok, not great, the sauce is yum, the bread itself-no discernible yeasty taste, which I something I like, and it's very very dense bread, so it really doesn't soak up the yum. Or we got yesterday's bread. Why do they serve it in that teeny dish? You can't really eat it without all the sauce spilling out, making a mess everywhere. Mother was distressed at the mess, so I poured her monkey bread out onto her fruit plate, but I shouldn't have to do that. Guys, serve it in a bigger bowl-not deeper, but wider!! I'm really not sorry about the tablecloth. Oh, I did mention the fruit plate, didn't I? I was trying to forget the completely unripe melon (2 kinds) that had been sliced too closely to the rind of the melon, so not only was it unripe (c'mon kitchen!), you couldn't really eat it without cutting off the rind. Not that it was a big deal I guess, since 1 piece of each kind was enough to realize it was basically inedible. Short rib poutine.--well, the short ribs must have done something really bad that day, because the kitchen KILLED THEM DEAD. Terribly overcooked. Unable to eat them overcooked. DARN IT MOTHER!!

Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer: Look, it's certainly not the worst hotel you can stay at, there were a couple of things that were annoying. One, the parking was a hassle, too few spots, and even when they covered up a bunch of them with garage pods, they kept the valet spots roped off. Also the front staff could use a bit of sensitivity training, their reaction to my boyfriend and I asking for a single king wasn't necessarily homophobic, but it definitely lacked tact. All this would've been forgiven if the bed weren't so stiff and the pillows so crappy.

Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer:
The manager here (possibly owner) is a complete asshole. The bread wasn't cooked and was gooey all wet and he refused to re-make the sandwiches. He's a real cheap bastard. The workers seemed to be in good spirits; I have no idea why seeing who they work for. I wouldn't return to this location if you paid me!