Write an article based on this "Find the right group. Play your strengths. Talk. Assert yourself. Interrupt. Attract attention. Get people laughing Keep the party going."
Sometimes the problem isn't us -- it's the people around us. In the nicest way possible, of course. Part of the issue could be that you just don't jive with the people around you. Maybe an older (or younger) age group, different demographic, etc., would be more up your alley. These people could bring out a side of you that is more talkative and, quite frankly, enjoys people more. Think about it. Test this theory out by joining a club. Anything that is a small class where you could get to know a group of like-minded people could show you that it's not everyone who makes you clam up -- it is just certain types of people. Some people inhibit us and others don't -- find the ones that draw you out. Maybe you're a great listener but not a great talker. Maybe you read a lot instead of partying. Newsflash! Your introverted strengths can be extroverted strengths. The next time an acquaintance is making it quite clear they're having a bad day, go up to them and ask them what's up. Your listening skills will take over. Start a conversation about the book you're reading -- if you didn't know it, extroverts read, too! Odds are if you're truly introverted, you're reflecting a lot, getting in your head, observing and noticing things. If that's the case, you're set: you have an attention to detail that is hard to cultivate organically. Use that. Notice something small and comment on it. People might be taken aback for a split second before a smile erupts on their face that someone finally noticed something about them. Everyone loves that feeling. Once you're in a social situation (which is really half the battle), get to talking. Anything. Anything at all. You obviously have opinions! And if you're uncomfortable stating how you feel, ask questions. Everyone loves it when people seem interested in them. Asking questions is an easy way out. If this is an issue, start talking when you're by yourself. Start talking more around your family and best friends. Sometimes it's hard just getting used to the sound of our own voices. Practice doesn't make perfect, but it does make habit. The more you get used to talking a lot, the better you'll be at it in all situations. The next step after talking is asserting yourself. When a chance comes up to give your opinion, take it. Unless you're advocating mass genocide or that an amorphous purple blob follows you around on Tuesdays, you probably won't incite chaos or rejection. In the scheme of things, is saying what movie you'd like to see momentous at all? Nope. How about what you thought of your boss' presentation? Nope. Just spit it out. Let other people set the tone if you'd like. One of the things most people are good at is complaining and they get really good at it when they're in groups. Find a time when you and a few friends / acquaintances are jabbing about nothing and give your opinion. If others don't like it, so be it. The conversation will move on. Introverts are guilty of often being too nice. An extrovert will grab the conversation by the horns and take a hold. Let that be you! You don't have to wait for an opening -- because it may not come. It's not rude if it's timely. Extroverts do it all the time. The only issue is to know when to do it. If you think about it, you'll probably recognize acceptable opportunities. The middle of a story about your friend's sick best friend isn't the best place. The middle of a soap box on veganism might be. If it's an active conversation or debate, go for it. If the person is venting or grieving, wait to state your business. The smaller stuff is outta the way -- now it's time to break out the big guns: attracting attention to yourself. This may involve being loud, it may not. However, more often than not, it does involve instigating action. Start a game. Talk about doing something Friday night. Get people organized. Get people doing things. Bring up a subject that everyone can talk about. Start tossing popcorn down the table. Hide awkwardly behind a small pole. Send a funny video to all your friends. Get people doing things and get people talking. . Though not all extroverts are comedians and not all comedians are extroverts, if you want to be noticed socially, a good way is to do it is to get your group laughing. The step in attracting attention is a good place to start, but you can take it even further. Even if it has to be at your own expense! Even something simple like making funny noises or moving in slow motion can get people laughing. If quirky is doable, it'll work. People will be amused and hopefully put at ease. Being social will just skyrocket from there when they join in with you! A true, true extrovert can take any awkward silence and run with it, even if it means talking about their cat. If you're in a group of people and thumbs are a-twiddling, start talking. See how many marshmallows you can balance on your forehead. Ask someone "truth or dare." Turn on the Macarena and get dancing. Different crowds will respond to different things. If you are with a group post-Vivaldi operetta and the classic debate of steel-barrel wine vs oak-barrel wine has awkwardly drawn to a close, turning on the Macarena may not be your best bet. Know your audience -- what might get them going?