Input: .
Generate a negative review for a place
Output: After seeing the response from the manager/owner I feel compelled to update. Look, I'm not insulting your customers, I'm insulting your food. Actually, the description I gave was more a compliment because I could have been a lot more brutal. It's kind of like The Varsity in Atlanta. If you like greasy burgers in cheap white buns, somewhat average chili over an even more average hot dog, then it's your place! The place has been around for years and it has a loyal band of Georgia Tech alumni that would swear by nothing else. To them, it's comfort food and brings back memories of their school days - and that's great. It's been around for 50 years and it'll be there another 50 years... It doesn't change the fact that the food is crap but their customers will rave about how great it is. I think it must be the same with your place. You have loyal customers, for whatever reason, but don't even begin to pretend that you're dishing out good Italian food, because you're not. Well, not to me you aren't. I'm comparing it to Italian food that I know to be good. I've been all over the world - including Italy - and I know the difference. Your food is no different to what you would get out of a Stouffers box or at an Olive Garden.

Input: .
Generate a positive review for a place
Output: I love this place. Great food, excellent servers, awesome indoor/outdoor architecture. Phoenix Public Market has it going on. Except for one thing. What is UP with the beer selection? The obsession with high gravity IPA's, Hefe's, or sweet dark beers-- at Phoenix Public Market & elsewhere-- is so tired. In an era & in a neighborhood where there are lots of tap selections like this, why not diversify and have an intelligent, crisp pilsner on line? I'm not talking Bud or Stella (blech...), but something like Polestar, 4 Peaks Poppin Pils, Firestone Pivo (2013 GABF gold medal winner), or one of about a dozen other delicious crafts available? Or, an awesome german pilsner (Spaten? Lowenbrau?). I find it quite mystifying. Whoever makes the beer selection, pretty please expand the Market's palette & swap out a line or two... make an intelligent selection or two of delicious pilsners and you'll sell TONS more beer, I so guarantee it! Thirsty, with my fingers crossed...

Input: .
Generate a negative review for a place
Output: I don't want to sound like a whiney old fart but the lack of seating options is kind of a pain for folks like me - you kind of have to lure me out to go to a concert in the first place. The sweaty crowd, the drunken fools. the ringing ears... just doesn't appeal to me. The event I attended here was free AND supplied free beer, so you can imagine how packed and nutty it was. One of few places where I actually witnessed people splashing each other with beer... as though they were shooting squirt guns... guys, I know it was free but come on! A little appreciation, huh? Phew, got a little off topic. Anyway. Yeah, the place is fine for what it aims to be. Festival style concert spot, fairly well serviced bar. So why the two stars? Well I'll tell you. So, I found out about this free musical event (I did not yet know that there would be free beer) and thought okay, maybe there's a catch. So I called ahead and asked them if they had a drink order minimum, which is, in my experience, the common catch for night time shows that are otherwise free of charge. The guy seems a little confused by my question. "I don't understand your question", he says. I explain. "Well I know the show is free tonight but I've been to places where they require you to buy drinks--" I'm promptly cut off with a loud sigh. "In North Carolina?" "...no..." "Well ma'am that's illegal in North Carolina". I wish I could convey tone here, because a text reading makes the conversation sound fine, but he sounded rude and condescending when he explained this. He then went ahead and topped himself by saying "You *do* have a ticket for this event, right? Because you know, you need a ticket". You know the tone. "I'll let you off the hook for wasting my time with stupid questions because you don't know any better." That tone. I would have been fine with the "oh sweetie, how little you know" tone and downright pleased with the "I'm happy that I get to tell you something great about my hometown" tone. Because that is great news. No getting ripped off by drink minimums? Nice! If only the guy who'd told me didn't act like such a jerk when he did.

Input: .
Generate a negative review for a place
Output:
Reasons I will never go to this restaurant again: -Out of all the empty tables, the waiter (a creepy, older man) sat me at the table against a wall right next to the door, pretty much isolated and alone. -The waiter tried to find out where I was from (my ethnicity), where I lived, whether I was working that day and whether I was on my lunch break, whether I was married, and whether I lived alone or with my parents. -When I was getting food from the lunch buffet, my waiter would pop up from behind me and point to the last dish I got and say "This, very good." -When the waiter had nothing to do at the moment, he'd stand against the wall across the room and just stare at me. I felt extremely uncomfortable there, and the buffet was not worth its price.