Summarize the following:
You need to know exactly what you want to happen when you have the conversation. Do you want to go to a dance? Do you want a later curfew? Do you want to go out to a special dinner with your parents? Think about what you want from the conversation. It can even help to write it down. Make sure you have all the important details. Having details will help you answer questions. Answering questions will calm your parents down. For instance, if you want to spend the night at friend's house, you'll need to know if her parents will be there, when the night will start, what you'll need to bring, and when your parents can pick you up. It also might help to have a phone number for your friend's parents. That way, your parents can call her parents. You don't want to talk when your parents are busy. Pick a time when they have a moment to sit down with you. It should be a time when you can have their full attention. If you can't figure out a time, ask your parents when a good time would be. If you keep trying to draw it out, you're just going to get more nervous. As soon as you get your parents together, just begin what you have to say. For instance, you could start by saying, "I have something I want to discuss with you, and I hope you will keep an open mind. I'd like to go to the dance this Saturday night." If you absolutely can't get it out right away, it's okay to start the conversation with something else, as long as you get to the point eventually. A good way to convince someone to do something is to tell the person what good it will do them.Think about how your parents will benefit from what you are doing, and bring that up. As an example, if you're trying to get your parents to let you go out for a night, you could say, "As an added bonus, you'd get the house all to yourself!" Another example is if you're trying to get your parents to eat out somewhere, mention their favorite dishes. If you try to lie or give a half truth, your parents may not trust you in the future if they find out. Plus, they know you pretty well, so they can probably tell when you're lying. That is, you might have a tendency to blame your parents. Most people do in serious conversations. However, you should try to stick to what you're feeling or thinking, not what you blame your parents for. In other words, use "I" instead of "you." Say, "I feel upset when I can't go out when my friends do," not "You're awful for not letting me go out with my friends." The second one puts your parents on their guard, while the first one just expresses what you're feeling. If you can, have details to back up what you say. As noted in the previous section, having details about where you're going is important. But it's equally important to have details in other conversations, too. Having someone with more authority than you, such as one of your friend's parents, a teacher, or a researcher through an article, to back you up can help persuade your parents. For instance, if you're trying to convince your parents that you should be in the band, you could have research articles stating how music can help you do better in math. You could say, "As this research shows, being in band can help me do better in math. I'll let you have these pages so you can read up on it." If you are trying to get your parents to do something they don't want to do, then hearing why may help you. Your parents may have good points to bring up about the problem. In turn, you may be able to deal with those problems by finding solutions. It's important that you approach your parents politely. Getting angry or upset will not help you convince them of anything. In fact, it makes you seem immature.
Decide what you want your parents to do. Write down what you want to say. Pick a good time and place. Begin talking. Let them know what's in it for them. Speak the truth. Talk about yourself. Back up what you say. Hear your parents out. Be civil.