Sometimes people can come across as mean and unfriendly, when they are really shy or just uncomfortable. Instead of assuming what someone is feeling or what his intentions are, explore options for his behavior and try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Think to yourself, "Why else could he be acting like this?" You will probably come up with a few alternate explanations. For example, if someone is being rude, don't assume he is just mean. Ask yourself, "Could he be acting this way because he is upset or tired? Maybe he doesn't know how that comment sounded." Ask him about it if you can't come up with an explanation or to confirm what you are thinking. You could say, "And why do you say that?" or, "Why'd you decide to do that?" If you can better acquaint yourself with the person's decision making process, it is yet another layer added to his personality concept. Knowing how someone reasons through things tells you a lot about his priorities and assumptions. will be much easier to understand people if you don't expect everyone to think and act like you. Even people with similar personalities have different experiences and backgrounds that shape their opinions and attitudes. Learning more about people can help you appreciate their differences and avoid stereotyping them. A great way to do this is to expose yourself to different types of people, places, and experiences. Watch videos or read books to get a glimpse into how others live. Read articles to explore different belief systems, cultures, and values. Talk to people outside of your comfort zone. Strike up a conversation on the elevator. Talk to the person beside you on the bus. Chat online with someone from another background or country. This means putting yourself in the other person's shoes. When you can empathize with someone you can understand what she is feeling and her perspective, even if you don't feel the same or have the same opinion. Some people are naturally empathetic and others aren't. But it is a skill that can be developed and improved with practice. Increase your empathy by making an effort to think about how people might be feeling around you, or about how characters must be feeling in the books you read and movies you watch. Try thinking to yourself, "If I were her, how would I feel? Why might she feel that?" It's important not just to put yourself in the person's place, but try and actually imagine yourself as that person. For instance, maybe your friend's cat just died. You might think, "If that were me, I would want to be left alone to grieve." But it's not about what you might feel, it's about what your friend might feel. Think about what you know about your friend maybe she likes to be surrounded by people for support. Instead of wanting to be left alone, the way you might, your friend would probably feel better if you came over with a slice of cake and gave her a big hug.

Summary: Avoid assumptions. Appreciate differences. Develop empathy.

Build your self esteem and confidence if you really want to be less shy. With good self confidence and esteem, you will feel like you are a wonderful person who can have all of the awesome things you deserve. There are lots of ways to do this, from learning a new skill to volunteering for a good cause. Self confidence and self esteem are also very attractive qualities. Girls will fall head over heels for a guy that is confident in himself and his abilities. Just keep saying to yourself: I am Han Solo. I will get my Princess. And I totally shot first. One trick to overcoming shyness is to imagine the worst thing that could possible happen and ask yourself: would it really be the end of the world. It feels horrible to do things that scare us or experience things that go wrong, but you won't die. In a few years, you probably won't even remember it. With this is mind, try to let go in situations where you're shy and just enjoy yourself. Be ridiculous when you imagine these situations. The absurdity of the situation will make you laugh and feel much better. Don't want to go talk to that girl over there? What's the worst that could happen? Well, she could be a vampire. Not the sexy, Kristen Stewart kind but the kind that needs to cut up your corpse and use your blood to open a portal to Hell so that she can release her demon brethren to feed on all mankind. Do you really think that could happen? No. There is no way that girl is that terrifying. You'll be fine. As with so many things in life, practice is a great way to get good at anything. Practice being in social situations, like being around girls, and you'll feel much more comfortable over time. Go places and do social things that make you feel uncomfortable, and with time you'll learn that you get through the awkwardness and the discomfort and nothing bad happens to you. Try to go to parties for example. And don't just be a fly on the wall! Get out and talk to people. To point is to practice and get comfortable spending time around girls. You can also try the instant immersion method. Take a dance class or a yoga class. This will help you make female friends but it will also get you used to spending time with them very quickly. If any of your guy friends question your sexuality when you do this, point out that now you get to spend hours every week hanging out with girls in tight clothing. Sometimes we feel shy because we feel like the people around us are better than us. We think they look better or talk better or act cooler and we don't walk to talk or bring attention to ourselves because then people will realize that we're funny-looking or boring or weird. But you are not those people....and they are not you. You are unique and cool and only you can offer the world the amazing things you have to offer. For example, that jock guy that seems to get all the girls? Yeah, he's got unpleasant things about him too. Girls will realize this. Especially the ones worth being with. They will see that maybe he's more social or more handsome, but they'll also see that you're smarter or more stable. So don't compare yourself to him because eventually girls are going to want what you have, not what he has. You could be the next Steve Jobs. You don't know. Don't doubt yourself or try to change yourself. You could be denying everyone the next iPad by trying to be someone else.
Summary: Build your self esteem. Imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen. Put yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable. Don't compare yourself to others.