Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: This was a superb episode, one of the best of both seasons. Down right horror for a change, with a story that is way way above the average MOH episodes, if there is such a thing. A man's wife is almost burned to death in a tragic car wreck, in which he was driving. His airbag worked, her's didn't. She is burned beyond recognition (great makeup btw), and not given much of a chance to live without a full skin graft. BUT, even in a coma, she keeps dying but brought back by modern technology, and when she does die for a few minutes, her ghost appears as a very vengeful spirit. Carnage of course ensues, and also some extremely gory killings, and also, some extremely sexy scenes. What more could you ask for, you might ask? Well, not much, because this baby has it all, and a very satirical ending, that should leave a smile on most viewers faces. I just loved Rob Schmidt's (Wrong Turn) direction too, he has a great knack for horror. Excellent episode, this is one I'm buying for sure.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: SPOILERS Sex huh? It's one of the most basic parts of human life. Yet, do we ever take it too seriously? People always want more, even those who get it on a daily basis, and if you are unlucky, there are potential life changing (creating) consequences. Ironically people claim we are all starting to have sex at a younger and younger age (despite Victorians getting married and having children in their early teens), so it must be increasingly difficult for those who get to a point as virgins. In Steve Carell's first big screen lead, he plays a man who has gotten to 40 without managing it. Treating us to countless lude and extreme sex related incidents, not to mention more profanity than an episode of "Eurotrash", the general plot of the film and it's principle doesn't sound funny. It's a pleasant surprise therefore that for all the inappropriate, failed jokes, there are an incredibly large number of ones which hit the mark and leave the audience in hysterics.

Andy Stitzer (Carell) is a nice guy with a good job and a pleasant temperament. At the same time though, he blatantly takes life too seriously and after being invited to a poker game as a necessary fifth member, Andy's friends discover his secret. At the age of 40, Andy is still a virgin. Now, for multiple reasons, but mostly pity, the three men (Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen and Romany Malco) all offer Andy advice with one goal in mind. To put him out of his misery and get him laid.

One of the few good things about "Anchorman", it was only going to be a matter of time before Steve Carell got himself a lead of his own. Impressively, in "The 40 Year Old Virgin" he doesn't disappoint. Showing the hopeless, shy virgin to perfection, Carell is a revelation as he gradually grows increasingly confident as the advice begins to help.

Carell is not alone however in his performance. Rudd, Rogen, Malco and Catherine Keener as the love interest are all superb. Rudd is a personal favourite as the love sick David who falls apart at multiple times and shares the finest scene with Rogen as the two argue over homosexuality.

The biggest surprise about this film is not the way that so many of the jokes hit the mark, but actually the clever way that it flips the message on it's head. Obviously designed for conservative America, the film's entire tone evolves from a simple story of sexual conquest into one of safe sex and abstinence. The virgin doesn't need sex to make his life complete, he just needs confidence and true love. A worthy message to preach, and a considerable improvement on the one you expect to see at the beginning of the film.

It's weird to see a crude comedy which is consistently funny and well acted, but low and behold, "40 Year Old Virgin" is just that. Throw in a well meaning message too and you're well on the way to a top class comedy. A surprising joy.

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: Resnais, wow! The genius who brought us Hiroshima Mon Amour takes on the challenge of making a 1930s French musical in vibrant colour. The opening voice-over with old, embellished inter-titles was a nice touch. Then the camera aperture opens (like the old hand crankers) on a black & white placard. The camera backs off (or rather, up), suddenly showing us the surprisingly brilliant colours of an elegant table set for a tea party. This is all in the first 60 seconds.

Then the music starts. A rather banal and forgettable diddy featuring an unconvincing chorus of 3 girls blabbering some nonsense which has no relevance to the film (and yes, I speak French, so I can't blame it on the subtitles). Those characters whiz out the door and are replaced by more people who break into an even more forgettable song. Then they leave, and finally Audrey Tautou appears and we hear our first appreciable dialogue 15 minutes into the film.

I'm not sure what Resnais intended by starting off with such a yawning waste of time & musical cacophony. But the effect on the viewer is to make you want to hurl skittles at the screen and storm out. I endured.

It didn't get much better. I'll tell you why. There is absolutely no familiarity with any of the characters. We don't even see their faces half the time (as Resnais seems too intent on showing off the expensive scenery to care about the actual people in front of the camera). People flit on & off stage like moths around a lamp, and we the audience are unable to focus on any particular person or plot. It's as if you were to take every episode of the Brady Bunch and cram it into a 2 hour movie. With bad songs.

The only thing that kept me watching as long as I did (1 hour) was that I was looking at the camera techniques, lighting and scenery which were all, I admit, excellent. But is that enough to hold your attention for 2 hours? Not me. Maybe tomorrow I'll try watching the end. Aw, who am I kidding. I have more important things to do. I'm sure you do, too. Skip this.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer:
I have to say I quite enjoyed Soldier. Russell was very good as this trained psychopath rediscovering his humanity. Very watchable and nowhere near as bad as I'd been led to believe. Yes it has problems but provides its share of entertainment.