Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: I work in the building across the street and have gone here for lunch too many times to count. If I didn't work in the building across the street I doubt I would have ever gone into this corner building, strip mall, dive bar unless something horrific was happening in the world, such as the zombie apocalypse, one in which I'm being chased by a hoard and my only salvation is to enter a dive bar where, more than likely, the servers will also be zombies and I'll be fucked pretty bad. That said, the place kind of smells like musk and sadness and the two or three middle aged servers look like they've lived a lot of life. There are always a few hunched over dudes at the bar, watching sports or maybe counting their misfortunes. One server appears to have always just had something weird or traumatic happen to her before she takes our order, like she was just bitching at SRP for shutting her power off or she just found out her teenage son got arrested on drug charges- then she comes to take our order. While the service has never been despicable, we always have to wait an unnecessary amount of time for our tab, which sucks since we're anxious to get back to our meaningless jobs. She also asks us "what flavor" of beer we want, which confused me since, like, Blue Moon is not exactly a "flavor" as much it is, you know, a brand. But I can look past this. I've eaten a few things here and the worst and most unacceptable was a simple dinner salad which was literally wilted Iceburg, bag lettuce with an obscene amount of dressing. I can only assume that they thought if they covered the wilted lettuce with enough fatty Ranch I wouldn't notice the lettuce was bad. I did, but I didn't send it back, instead I ate it and drank beer and talked about how much better the director's cut of Bladerunner is. The wings are mediocre, not crispy enough for me to say they're cooked well, not thick enough to call them plump, and not tasty enough to assume that the sauce is anything more than some Frank's Red Hot concoction with some added butter or someshit. I've also had the pleasure of the chicken "fritters" which are, you know, frozen chicken strips deep fried. I order these most times I come here because they can't really fuck it up and you can't exactly go wrong with chicken strips. I've also ordered the "fire" fries which are just their fries with Cayenne pepper on them, and they charge another 1.50 for this. What IS worth the trip across the way and the shady, low brow atmosphere are the two dollar burgers on Tuesdays. I actually never order the burgers only because I'm not much of a burger person, but my regular co-workers tell me they're tasty, a cut above a fast food burger and cheaper. (Though, consider that you're also leaving a tip for the service, not getting fries, and paying extra for cheese, so it's not THAT much of a better deal than fast food, just sayin'.) What I can't look past, why Dirty Drummer is only getting two stars, is the fact that the only reason we came here; the five dollar pitchers of domestics, are now, for some reason, NINE dollar pitchers which, needles to say, is absolutely not worth it, especially considering the skimpy size of the pitchers, the depressing atmosphere and the tore up servers. After my co-worker noticed this new four dollar addition to the pitcher price he said, rather cleverly, "looks like this is the last time we'll be drumming." And it was.

Input: What would be an example of an positive review?

An example of an positive review: Need to update my review on Andre's Cigar and Cognac lounge! I've been here numerous times now, I've been to every Whiskey Wednesday event thus far and have to say the team at Andre's ( Tanya and Patrick) always strive to give the best service! Not only are they attentive, they know their stuff! Ask them about any cigar, cognac, whiskey, etc, they will tell you a little bit about what you are drinking and recommend others for you to try! I was thoroughly impressed with Patrick on my last visit, I was there to celebrate my birthday and we had dinner down in the restaurant before going up to the lounge for after dinner drinks. Even though I usually come for the Whiskey events, I am a cognac drinker at heart. He recommended a wonderful cognac to go with my cigar. Not only did he recommend a great cognac, but also told me about a tasting flight of cognacs and armagnacs. OH MY GOD...I would never had gotten the chance to try the bottles he pulled if he had not offered that, I highly recommend doing a tasting flight at Andre's if you get a chance! Patrick took the time to show me each bottle and tell me a little about where it came from and the history of it. Very impressive is all I can say! Again, thank you SO much Team Andre's!!

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: Everything is greasy and not very fresh. I tried the "famous" orange chicken and cannot understand why this is so popular: it seems to have been soaked in vinegar for far too long. The chow mein has hardly anything in it but noodles, and it is so greasy, it's not worth the bother.

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?
An example of an negative review: This place is horrible! Not letting someone in because of "baggy" shorts! I wouldn't spend a dollar in this pathetic spot. Everywhere else will let you in with the same dress code but somehow these guys are special because they play the same music as everywhere else! Fuck them and the people at the door! No worries I can spend my money elsewhere!