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You may exert a lot of energy wrestling with your shortcomings, but this only keeps you stuck. Take a moment to label what the issue is and sit with the knowledge that your reaction to this issue is within your power. For instance, if you feel defeated about your low income, admit that aloud. Say, "My salary affects the way I view myself. I feel helpless." Now, empower yourself by imagining that only you can do anything about the situation. You might say something like, "I am the only one who can improve my income." Remember that you don't have to be perfect. Learn to accept your weaknesses and shortcomings if they're things you can't change, and find ways to work around them. Acceptance is all about empowerment, so take a look at your shortcomings and decide if you want to work on them or just leave them be. If you want to change, devise a plan using SMART goals to improve in these areas. Your goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. Avoid vague goals like "I want to be happy." A good SMART goal might be: "I want to go up for a promotion to improve my income or apply for higher-paying jobs. I will do this by the end of the month." Try not to overwhelm yourself only take on one shortcoming (like income) at a time. Some shortcomings can't be changed, and that's OK. For example, if you think your height is a shortcoming, that's something you can't change. Instead, work on accepting that part of yourself and turning it into a positive. Notice negative or self-defeating language and start to question its validity. Ask yourself questions: Is there evidence to prove this claim? Does that statement make you feel bad about yourself? Is there another more empowering way to look at the situation? For example, you may think "I will never get better at the guitar." Change the self-talk to something more realistic, like "If I practiced more, I can get better at the guitar. But, right now, my guitar-playing is not a top priority." This revision helps you view situations more realistically and from a position of self-acceptance (i.e., "I'm okay with not being a great guitar player because it's not my top focus" BUT "I could be better, if I wanted to."). Become more aware of when you are comparing yourself to others. When this happens, go back to your strengths list and remind yourself of all the ways you are uniquely gifted. Typically, you are making comparisons when negative self-talk happens. For example, maybe you criticized your own guitar-playing after hearing a friend play. Spot the negative, critical, and judgmental people in your life and start spending less time with them. These are the people who make a lot of comparisons, gossip, or focus on the negative aspects of situations. Others can get inside your head and undermine your ability to be self-accepting. Getting distance from negative people can help improve your self-acceptance.
Take ownership for your shortcomings. Set realistic goals if you want to change. Challenge negative self-talk. Drop the comparisons and see that you are unique. Remove toxic or negative people from your life.