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It is important to be honest with your child, particularly if they are autistic, or is wondering about an autistic friend. However, it is also important to make sure that your child is old enough to understand what you are telling her, and will not become confused or overwhelmed. Every child is different, so there's no set age to speak to her. It is up to you as to when you do have the conversation. If your child is autistic, err on the side of talking about it too soon. It can be stressful to feel like you are different, but no one will tell you why. Young children can hear something as simple as "You have a disability called autism, which means your brain works a little differently, and that's why you have therapists to help you." Let them know that autism is a disability, not a disease or a burden, and that it is okay to be autistic. Older children may benefit from being introduced to the concept of neurodiversity and the disability rights movement. Encourage a child to see the good in an autistic friend, sibling, or classmate. For example, "Yes, Lola does have a hard time talking and dealing with big emotions sometimes. I've noticed that she's sweet, and good at art. What do you think Lola is good at?" Help your autistic child to understand that their differences make them unique and special. Explain the strengths of autism: strong sense of logic and ethics, compassion, deep passions, focus, loyalty, and desire to help (social responsibility). Make sure you encourage your child, telling them that their autism makes them different but not lesser. Your child can still comfortably take part in school and home activities and lead a happy life. Always tell your child how much you love and care for them. It's important to have proper support, particularly when facing a life with a disability, and with help your child can live a happy, productive life.
Make sure your child is ready to have the discussion. Explain to your child that autism is nothing to feel sad about. Encourage your child. Make sure to express your love for your autistic child.