Article: Forcing yourself to feel happy without first validating your feelings of sorrow will lead to greater problems down the road. However, don't use this as an excuse to get stuck in a rut; feel your sadness, acknowledge it, and use the wisdom you've gained from the experience to move on. It's possible you don't even know why you're feeling like this. Sometimes our minds get on a track all their own that we can't decipher. If this sounds like you, then take it as a cue that your logical brain has taken a little vacation and simply needs to be put back to work. Telling yourself to "think positive" can be pretty underwhelming advice, especially when the mortgage payment is due, the car breaks down, and life seems out of control. Instead of trying to convince yourself that your situation is just rosy, focus your energy on approaching the unpleasantness in a positive way. This starts with monitoring and reshaping your internal monologue. If you catch yourself thinking, "I can't believe I'm in this mess again," correct the thought by adding, "but I'll pull through just like I always do." Keep correcting these negative statements until it becomes second-nature; after that, make it your goal to eliminate the negativity altogether. You can even write it down on paper to help you get it out and view it more objectively as you correct your thoughts. Doing this has been shown to have a number of health benefits -- including increased lifespan, a reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease, and greater resistance to the common cold. Sometimes you may feel unsure of who you are. In these times, it can help to write down a values list to help you determine what drives you and motivates you in your life. This can also help you address problems that are causing negative feelings. To write a values list: Identify a time that you were the happiest, a time when you were the proudest, and a time when you were the most fulfilled or satisfied. Use these times to help you determine your top values. Then prioritize them in your daily life. Don't forget to reaffirm your values when you're feeling low. " This means not only your possessions (hot running water, a computer, a full refrigerator), but also the things that add value to your life (your friends, your hobbies, your convictions). Call it a "Gratitude List" because it's a list of what you're grateful for. Sometimes it's a little hard to be grateful when you're not in the right mood. To get the juices flowing, look at someone else' life. What should they be thankful for? Alright, now how many of those things do you have too? Probably quite a few. Take one minute to think about this question, "What is shame and how often is it useful?" Hopefully you came up with something like, "An emotion determined by society and rarely." Because that'd be true! When you feel shame, you're worried about what others think of you. And where's the value in that?! The second you start feeling a twinge of that feeling, grab it by its horns and analyze it. If you were 7 years old, would this bother you? If you were 70, would it bother you? How about if you lived in a different culture? Chances are you'd be able to answer "no" to all those questions. Your reasons for shame have been taught to you for no good reason. Get 'em out of your brain to make room for useful feelings! If you find that shame is a constant in your life, consider seeking professional help from a therapist. Spend a whole day in your PJs relaxing, get into a good book, and don't let anyone disturb you. If you don't have time for this type of mini-escape, listen to an audiobook while driving to work or riding the bus. Keep your mind focused on something besides your negativity. It's easy to forget that we can control our minds. They are us, we are not them (in a manner of speaking). If you give your mind a new world to take it, you'll get a new world out. Relaxing and distracting yourself is the first step to finding a new outlook.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Give yourself time to feel sad. Eliminate negative self-talk. Create a values list. Write a "gratitude list. Tune out the shame. Lose yourself in a moment.