Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: This place is as bad to be expected! The monthly fee is decent, however the neighborhood not so much. Also, every time I come here it smells of urine and on very rare occasions people will clean the machines. The manager and staff is incompetent and not very friendly.

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A: There was a sweet check-in here on Foursquare (get on it, Yelp!) that offered up happy hour pricing anytime of the day. Since we were looking to stop in on a Sunday, when they have no happy hour, this seemed like the best time to use it. Drinks were 2-for-1, with wings and sliders both going for a buck. Not too shabby. We each ordered a drink not really thinking it would be 2-for-1 on whatever we each got, meaning it wasn't buy-one-get-one. No biggie, it isn't like we came here to take it easy. The wings here are really good. I'm particular about my wings - I like a crispy exterior with only a light-to-medium dousing of sauce. I detest slimy wings that are all mushy and texture-less. These rocked. I'd suggest sticking with the classic buffalo flavor. The garlic variety were way too powerful, which normally wouldn't bother me but it was a faux garlic taste. If you're doing happy hour pricing, maybe get a couple to check them out but I wouldn't do a whole order unless you know you like them. The sliders are simple - meat, cheese, bun. They were a bit dry, but a nice dollop of mustard can clear that right up. We also got an order of the mesquite fries. We would've gotten sweet potato, but they come with cinnamon and sugar on them, which sounds more like a dessert than anything else. And I don't do dessert fries, sounds like something fat people order to combine two of their favorite things. Mesquite fries tasted like BBQ chips but in the body of a fry. Not quite sure I liked them all that much. Service was exceptional. Our waitress, Nora, was attentive and offered up some good suggestions on their menu. I'd return to see how their entrees stack up.

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A:
I'm so split on this place, because I kinda don't want to like it, but as a Hilton HHonors Diamond member, I get the perks that make it pretty awesome. For example, like most other Hiltons, there isn't a complimentary breakfast. What a dick move for an upscale hotel, right? Well... wait wait wait HHonors member, you get exclusive access to the Executive Lounge on the 4th Floor for a lovely complimentary breakfast with eggs, potatoes, maybe some other hot foods, muffins, bagels, doughnuts, fresh coffee, juice, yogurt, and a staff member there just for you! Oh, and don't forget that we have a lovely, HHonors member only evening reception with libations on the cheap and some lovely finger foods - sandwiches and such. Relax after your long day, and partake in some CNBC or other hi-def programming on one of our HDTVs Back in your room, $9.95 for a day of Internet access? Not so, HHonors guest! Type in your information and we provide you 24 hours of Internet access completely gratis. (And surprisingly, for non-free Internet access, it's not particularly fast. I was only hitting 0.5Mb/s down) I get giving your best customers special perks, the evening reception for one, but some of these really should be perks for all guests. I will give the Hilton Phoenix Airport a lot of credit otherwise. The staff is incredibly friendly. They have a complimentary shuttle that will take you to several nearby locations. I've made a few trips to Chase Field when the shuttle drops me off and picks me back up from the 44th and Washington Valley Metro Station. The rooms are fantastic. Clean, well appointed (I'm sure it's those fine, European linens, Serta mattresses, and Crabtree & Evelyn soaps), HDTV in every room. One big criticism is as of my latest trip in August 2011, they've disabled the TVs from switching to a secondary input - alas, no plugging my PlayStation 3 into an HDMI input for some gaming/movies/Netflix. A second criticism, no mini fridge or microwave in the room. There is an amazing fitness center. Plenty of room, full rack of dumbbells, benches, treadmills, ellipticals, weight machine... Needless to say, it's well equipped. The pool is also pretty big - long enough to get a few good laps in without crashing into kids. The price on this place is always reasonable, especially compared to other hotels of its caliber in the area. I still prefer the Doubletree up the road, but for the price, this is a decent choice if you have an HHonors membership. Otherwise, I'd suggest trying someplace else.