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Are you even aware of your innate need to fix or control others? Some people reading this may be in denial of a savior complex. By taking a closer look into your relationships with others, you can see a pattern of compulsive helping. Have you stayed in a relationship in which you were unhappy because you thought the other person needed you? Do you find yourself frequently worrying about others and their problems? Do you feel guilty when others help or give to you? Are you uncomfortable letting others experience negative emotions, so you quickly try to resolve the problem? Do you exit unhealthy relationships only to find yourself connecting with similar people as your past partners? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to visit a therapist. A therapist can help you determine if these are unhealthy behaviors for you. You may not realize that in your attempt to fix everyone around you, you have left yourself starving emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Perform a self-assessment to look closer at areas of personal need. You may find that you have been projecting your own shortcomings onto those around you. Identify your personal values. What beliefs, ideas, and principles drive your decisions and goals? Have you been living according to your values? Examine your emotional intelligence. Are you able to recognize your emotions and effectively express them? Take a look at your self-worth. Is your self-esteem connected to how much others value or need you? The compulsive need to rescue or help others is often rooted in your childhood. Researchers believe those who suffer from a savior complex or white knight syndrome are trying to fix some negative sense of themselves that arose in early life. Low self-esteem, abuse, or neglect may have contributed to this complex. You may choose friends or partners who are going through distress similar to that which you experienced in childhood. Awareness is the first step in being able to repair a damaged sense of self. Take notice of the relational patterns you form and offer yourself compassion. You might even say aloud, "I am drawn to damaged or toxic people because I am trying to rescue the part of myself that was abused as a child." In addition to acknowledging this connection, it may help to see a professional counselor who can work with you to heal from past wounds. Deep down, people with savior complex or white knight syndrome have a problem with codependency. Codependency describes your reliance on others to feel emotional voids. In a sense, you neglect yourself in favor of doing for others because your self-worth comes from the desire to be needed. You can recover from codependency by working with a competent mental health therapist who has experience in this area. It may also help to participate in self-help support groups for people with codependency issues. Researching codependency may help you identify your own patterns and needs. It can help you find a solution that works for you.
Examine past relationship patterns. Spot aspects of yourself that you have neglected. Acknowledge and make peace with childhood trauma or neglect. See a therapist for codependency issues.