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Establish basic boundaries Reiterate boundaries when needed. Encourage him to seek treatment. Support his treatment.
. If someone is prone to mood swings, boundaries are very important in the relationship. In a romantic relationship especially, you need to establish clear boundaries for acceptable behavior. You want to make it clear to him what is and is not okay when he's experiencing a mood swing. Make sure to reassure him you still care, especially if his mood swings are due to an underlying mental health disorder. Say something like, "I love you, and I want to stay with you. I know you can't always control your moods, but you can't take them out on me." Lay out what behaviors are and are not acceptable. Make this as clear as possible. For example, "It's always okay to feel your feelings. That's important, but just because you're angry or upset does not mean you can act however you want. You can't curse at me anymore when you're having a mood swing. If you curse at me in the future, I will end the conversation and leave the room. If you want to talk things out, you need to do so calmly." Remember, setting boundaries is a process. It can take a long time for boundaries to be firmly established, and you may need to adjust them over time. Boundaries may also be violated, especially at first. When he violates your boundaries, remind him of them. For example, "I know you're mad at how I responded to that question, but you can't imitate me. That hurts my feelings. We talked about this." Mood swings are often a sign of an underlying mental health disorder. If someone you love experiences frequent mood swings, it's important to encourage them to seek professional help. Mood swings can be very damaging to a relationship over time. Introduce the subject of therapy when he's calm and not during a mood swing. You can help him find therapists in the area, and even offer to go with him to his first appointment. Explain that you love him and care about him, but the behavior is damaging to both of you. If he's not willing to attend therapy on his own, suggest couples counseling. He may be more willing to attend joint counseling, as the focus is on both of you communicating better rather than one person's problems. If he chooses to seek treatment, be supportive. You can listen to him talk about things like therapy, and remind him there's no shame in needing professional help. You can also help him with any coping techniques a therapist provided. For example, try meditating with him when he experiences a mood swing.