IN: Review: Wow. I don't even really remember that much about this movie, except that it stunk.

The plot's basically; a girl's parents neglect her, so this sicko PokeMon pretends to be her dad. Am I the only one disturbed by that? Then, this weirdo PokeMon kidnaps Ash's mom to pretend to be the girl's. I don't care if he was trying to make the girl happy, that's just gross.

There was no real plot. The girl was just a whiny brat who wanted things her own way. She played with Unowns, was the "daughter" of Entei and apparently could grow and shrink in age on a whim with the help of her "dad".

That's pretty much all I can remember, but I think you can take it as a hint, and not see it. (Or if you do see it, don't expect much.) 1 out of 10.

Seriously. If you want a PokeMon movie, rent "PokeMon; the First Movie".
What is this review like?
OUT: negative

IN: Review: Four words account for why this film was made - "She Done Him Wrong". The huge commercial success of that Mae West vehicle convinced the studio brass that Gay '90s melodramas were a viable proposition. Here we are rewarded with a fast moving, well written romp which neatly targets the personalities of its stars.

Wallace Beery and George Raft are excellent as friendly rivals; Jackie Cooper is a little harder to take, but it is Fay Wray who steals the film with her stock-in-trade damsel in distress. With a strong director - as Walsh proves himself to be - Wray could carry a lot of punch, and she is utterly believable as the object of both Raft and Beery's affection.

Lots of atmosphere, beautifully designed, this is a forgotten film worthy of revival.
What is this review like?
OUT: positive

IN: Review: Unless you are petrified of Russian people or boars, this movie is a snorefest. Actually, I fell asleep about 40 minutes in & had to fight the urge to just leave the theater. I wish I had. A waste of a perfectly lovely Saturday evening.

Even "Silent Hill" was scarier. Heck, even "Pan's Labyrinth" was scarier. I'm still unclear on what was supposed to be scary in this flick.

To begin with, I'm very leery of movies that use "pidgin Russian" like this one did in the opening credits. It's embarrassing to me since I brought a group of my Russian friends & we all cringed. Oh my god.

Hmm. Well, luckily for me (& probably you, too) this movie has already escaped my brain & I just stepped out of it an hour ago. So I have no specifics, just murky visuals that go nowhere & some languishing-now-dead hope that anything would happen.

Perhaps I saw a completely mutilated version of this film because I can't believe it got such great reviews here (which is why I saw it) & ended up being so completely devoid of not only Horror or Suspense but Overall Entertainment Value as well.

I give it a 2 because, yes, I fell asleep & wanted to leave after 40 minutes but I woke up & didn't leave.
What is this review like?
OUT: negative

IN: Review: That's right. A movie written, directed and produced by Fred Tepper and family. (Fred should have known better, having worked the sets of 'Titantic' and 'Dogma'.)

So, the plot. There are some scientists, and some forest rangers, and a hot chick with huge fake breasts. They are all really bad at their jobs, including the hot chick(who I think is supposed to be a photographer, but who cares because she wears a bikini). One of the forest rangers comments that the scientists are "professional people," which is good, because it would be horrible if they were professional grubs or jellybeans or Ewoks.

They are hiking through the woods in search of some strange ape-like bones, and no one even once mentions that the bones just might be those of the infamous Bigfoot. They just wander around and one of the rangers unabashedly hits on the hottie. We all hope he dies real soon (along with his sister who's meant to be the cute naive one, but is really just annoying). Then they, *gasp*, find a Sasqu... I mean, Ape-like Animal Burial Ground. Of course, no mentions that it might just be Bigfoot bones they're messing with... I guess scientists and forest rangers just don't think about those types of things.

Then Sasquatch and his tribe get really angry and kill all the people we dislike, chases the other losers away and buries his Great Aunt Muriel and Cousin Josh (who died in an unfortunate trout accident) all over again.

Insipid, boring dialogue (I zoned out several times), inane plot, unlikable characters, bad CGI (a man in a monkey suit would look better), and acting that just wasn't very good all add up to make a movie I won't be watching again.

You check it out though; it's good for some unintentional laughs.
What is this review like?
OUT:
negative