Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: HORRID!!

The special effects make the TV version of "Tremors" look real!

No one in the cast can act.

Kind of like the '62 "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea" meets the cartoon ocean going electric eel cartoons.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: So-so thriller starring Brad Pitt and Juliette Lewis, who join David Duchovny and Michelle Forbes on a road trip out west. The latter couple are researching notorious murder sites for an upcoming book; Pitt's a serial killer on the lam (unbeknownst to Dave) and Juliette is his poor, not-all-there companion. This is a good cast and the story moves along, but Pitt isn't belivably scary as a serial killer, although it is one of his better earlier roles. The best thing is here is Michelle Forbes, who always manages to shine, whether in her roles on 'Homicide: Life on the Street' or in the brief series 'Wonderland.'

Vote: 6

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: Barbara Stanwyck as a real tough cookie, a waitress to the working classes (and prostitute at the hands of her father) who escapes to New York City and uses her feminine wiles to get a filing job, moving on to Mortgage and Escrow, and later as assistant secretary to the second in command at the bank. Dramatic study of a female character unafraid to be unseemly has lost none of its power over the years, with Barbara acting up a storm (portraying a woman who learns to be a first-rate actress herself). Parlaying a little Nietzschean philosophy into her messed up life, this lady crushes out sentiment all right, but she never loses our fascination, our awe. She's a plain-spoken, hard-boiled broad, but she's not a bitch, nor is she a man-eater or woman-hater. This gal is all out for herself, and as we wait for her to eventually learn about real values in life, her journey up and down the ladder of success provides heated, sexy entertainment. John Wayne (with thick black hair and too much eye make-up) does well in an early role as the assistant in the file office, though all the supporting players are quite good. *** from ****

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer:
I can fondly remember Bo Derek's heyday and the UK press attention (the mucky Sun & News of the World papers especially)- all following her small role in "10" with Dudley Moore. Understandably, much fuss was made of her photogenic face, crystal clear blue eyes and her perfectly formed bouncing breasts.

Unfortunately, acting is, and never was, her forte! I think they should make one of the triple disc collections you always find in the bargain DVD bins- Orca, Tarzan the Ape-man and Bolero. All these films could be nominated for the "So Bad They Are Great".

It would be a guilty "must buy" of mine! Should you ever read your press, or this comment Ms Derek, please do not be offended- ALways had a soft spot for you and there are more important things going on in the world to worry about than your acting ability. Much Love.x