Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A: Old El Paso Tamales is easy to miss, located in a non-distinct strip mall off the beaten path in Mesa... and right now I feel like it's a well kept secret. The decor is basic and the menu is very short... they sell tamales, beef, chicken or pork (although I've heard rumors they do dessert tamales around Christmas and make other things as well). Currently the chicken tamales are my favorite as they have a green chili that gives them a little extra kick. It helps to call ahead to make sure the variety of tamale you want is currently available or you might get stuck waiting... but if you have to, the tamales are well worth the wait. These are the best tamales I've found in the valley.

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A: There are a couple of different ways to approach this museum. The first is with complete and utter disgust, but if that's the way you approach it one would wonder what you were doing here in the first place. The second is with a super open perverted mind. This way will likely get you kicked out as you'll probably end up walking out of one of the dark corners feverishly using the hand sanitizer they have lying around. And then there's the third way, which happens to be mine. A heavily perverted mindset with the subtle feeling that perhaps this is all really, really wrong. As a self proclaimed feminist, but also a self proclaimed lover of the freedoms granted to us in this kind-of free country, I have a tough time with porn. I will not ever believe that porn is "art" and I certainly will never believe that women who engage in porn do so because of sexual freedom or expression. Women are thoroughly subjugated in porn and they do it for money. What is that called? Right. With all that being said, I am as much of a hypocrite as the next guy. Porn is dirty, bad, and oh-so naughty. It can heighten sexual encounters and be a lot of fun, but it can also be completely detrimental to ones life (porn addiction, anyone?). What I found here was a combination of modern day not-so-art porn and the chicks that do it; a collaboration of all types of sexuality (trans, bi, gay, straight, etc.); the ugly truth associated with human sexual desires (a tantilizing wall of sex shame--count how many of the political figures that engage in gay acts are republicans!); a long history of court rulings that lead to our modern day sexual freedoms; and a whole lotta old school porn running in loops (1915 porn? really? Apparently these were made before razors were invented). I think that there's just a little too much modern porn for porns' sake going on here to be classified as a museum. If they toned down this aspect I would give them one more star; in the meantime I'm giving them a solid four stars for just being pretty damn cool.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A:
What a disappointment. Got fooled by Japanese name. As soon as you walk in the door, a sign of today's special all written in Chinese. Should have checked Yelp first. Or walked out. Service very slow even though we came late for lunch. Ordered green tea. No taste and not hot. Chopsticks, another sign, not Japanese. Music is also Chinese. Well we ordered any way, too late if day to go somewhere else. I just still can't understand why you have to trick people like this with the name. Looks like they are going to try to do sushi, they have a sushi cooler but right now has fruit or something in it. Not fish. Food came same time as soup. Mom ordered garlic beef not spicy. Came without garlic. I order Shicuan beef, it was ok, not the best. It took a while before server came to ask how we were doing. When we explained about the garlic, server took the plate, came back with a woman who just couldn't understand what was wrong. My food got cold explaining. Then finally offered to make new. Rice is also Chinese. Lots of it and dry. The server is very nice and well mannered guy. But I dont think we will be back. I'd to explain my " pickiness" when it comes to Japanese food. My mother is Japanese, I'm half, born there. My husband is Japanese. If are going to be serving Chinese or something other then what you lead the customers to believe, you are totally Fake! We cook Japanese food at home but it is nice to get out of cooking and have someone else cook it and serve with a smile. If I want Chinese, I go to Chinese. If I want American , I go to eat American food. If I want African, same. I just don't get it. You might be able to fool some people , but eventually , the causes you are making will catch with you. I didn't even want to give this place an one star. Just as bad as the Edo down the street. Why people? Do you keep on getting fooled , if you pay cheap, you get what you pay for.