Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A: It is an immutable fact that everything is better on a stick. Steak? Great. Steak kebabs? Awesome. Mango lassi? Delicious. Mango lassi popsicles? Amazing. Hot dogs? Scrumptious. Corn dogs? Heavenly. Apples? Pretty good. Caramel apples on a stick? Yes, please! Jar Jar Binks? Completely intolerable. Jar Jar Binks impaled by an iLightsaber and propped up? A wonderful experience. Course, that last one might have more to do with the fact that he's dead at that point, but still... So, Hot Dog on a Stick? Well of course it's going to be delicious! The hot dogs they use are full of flavour, the batter is clearly laced with Celonian huffing spices, and they're typically cooked to perfection. Their lemonade, whilst not actually on a stick, tastes about as good as any drink possibly can without truthfully being on a stick. Last time The Dark Side had filled me with murderous rage, Yoda just calmly handed me a corn dog and a drink from here, and suddenly everything was OK again. That's how powerful these products are. Earth has been spared on more than one occasion because of this place. It's mall food, which means you never know what kind of service you're going to get. For that, I'll dock it a point. But otherwise? Generally if I'm in a food court and see one, I'll make a line for it. Unfortunately, there aren't too many of them up here where I've headquartered the New Empire, but whenever I'm in Vegas and wanting to go look at a crashed UFO and wonder why the hell the Deathstar's designers didn't take aerodynamics into consideration when creating it, I'll grab a dog on a stick and a lemonade from here. 4 Deathstars.

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A: Fabulous pizza! Generally I am a carb kinda gal... so naturally, a satisfying thin crust pizza is hard for me to find. Grimaldi's hits the nail right on the head. The great taste of the tomatoes and herbs on each pizza is so perfect that I forget about the thin crust :) Well done.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A:
As I sit here on Saturday night at 8 pm, 35 minutes after being seated I still have not received my drink. Obviously the food hasn't arrived...