IN: Review: This is the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. This is saying quite a bit, considering some of the choices I've made in film rentals.

I got this on netflix based entirely on the fact that someone I went to high school with is topless in it. The topless scene lasted all of about 5 seconds and the rest of the movie was about as much fun as having pungee sticks driven underneath my toenails whilst being forced to listen to Roseanne sing Big Spender.

The "skits" are stupid and consist of the worst kind of juvenile bathroom humor and locker-room gags, and it's such a blatant (and poor) rip-off of The Kentucky Fried Movie that you'll be begging for Big Jim Slade to crash through the wall and save us from the stupidity of "Vince Offer" (whoever that is).

Unless you are a masochist, avoid this pile of rubbish.
What is this review like?
OUT: negative

IN: Review: Like some of the other reviewers have alluded to previously, I'd like to know what moron actually read the script and went', "Yea!!! This is it. This is the next film we are going to green light!!" And whoever that person is, should have his or her head examined for actual brain activity. Because whoever is responsible for actually dishing out money to have this made after reading the script, well, I'd love to give you my email address and maybe you'd like to just give away some more money. This film is atrocious in every way.

The Wayans are funny, at least they can be. They have made some good films and had some incredibly funny performances along the way. But in here, not only does the premise defy all logic, not only is the acting terrible, not only is the entire movie offensive from start to finish, not only is the direction as amateurish as you can find, but they actually want you to pay to see this film. Maybe if it was free...naaah, it would still be a waste of time.

Usually I'd be inclined to write some long winded, detailed review about why this film is so bad, but just suffice to say that let my brevity do the talking. This is the lowest common denominator film making and it is about as unfunny as a heart attack.

0/10..makes my top ten list of worst films of all time!
What is this review like?
OUT: negative

IN: Review: For quite a long time in my life, I either did not like this film, or I liked this film but not as much as many more. I watched it recently (at a sleepover, funnily enough) and I liked it more than I had done since I was under 6 or something. I now appreciate it more, as I do with a few other Disney classics that I have watched recently (including "Sleeping Beauty" and "Pinnochio" or however you spell it).

I now very much appreciate the animation, the clever "Disney" plot turns, the humour from the mice, the emotions expressed and the plot. The animation is very well done, often it seems you are wherever the other characters are, watching them. The animation also does well portraying the styles of the backgrounds, including the town (which is shown twice briefly). Disney changes this from the original fairy tale in a surprisingly good way, injecting clever plot turns ,such as the mice making the clothes and the key part (usually I do not like Disney films very much if they are not that similar to the original story, but with this I am not overly bothered. I feel they made necessary changes to make this a good Disney film. Often I do not think Disney changed the book in a good way in some of their films).

You know the story already, Cinderella is a girl working for her horrible stepmother and stepsisters. She goes to a ball with the help of her fairy godmother and loses a glass slipper...

This is a film very much to be watched with other people. Immediate family is not good enough. To enjoy this, I recommend you watch it with friends (and immediate family, if you like. :-) ).

I recommend this to people who like Disney at least a little bit, people who like fairy tales and for people who like mice. Enjoy! :-)
What is this review like?
OUT: positive

IN: Review: I once used Wesley Snipes' name as a clue to go ahead and watch a new, untried film in which he appears. So now, for the first time, my Snipes-Method of film recommendation has failed. Utterly. I should first have come here to see these reviews.

Snipes ought to be ashamed to allow his otherwise earnest efforts to be so wasted in "The Contractor".

One of my worst flick fears has come to bitter fruition. I feared that the shaky, blurry, pseudo-documentary, "unconsidered" directing and editing style (first brought to my attention by the Paul Greengrass-directed "Bloody Sunday") might propagate to other films. Greengass' sickening style was then brought to nauseatingly new heights in the last two of the Bourne trilogy films. My fear had come to pass. In my opinion, these films are made really bad by these motion-sickness-inducing methods, which mistake blurry swipes for "action-enhancement". But the "Bourne Franchise," as Greengrass so loving calls his cash cow, apparently convinced others in Hollywood to go unprofessional in the quest for fast, big bucks.

Read my lips, you Hollywood types. Action needs to be clearly photographed and presented, not merely hinted at by poor, lazy cinematographic techniques.

And "The Contractor" goes so far as to emulate "The Bourne Ultimatum" in inanely-repeated sound bites, in hopes their juvenile (apparently-evaluated) audiences can't sense them. For example, if I hear a cop radio crackling "Yankee-Romeo" one more time, I'll just scream. The chances are good I won't hear it again: I certainly won't ever view "The Contractor" again.

I recommend to those of you who have yet to see "The Contractor": just be content with the tranquility this lack affords to your life.

2 out of 10; I am tempted to lower that to a 1.
What is this review like?
OUT:
negative