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Ask to meet at a place where you will feel comfortable. Dress to impress. Make a list of what you want to learn. Allow the parents to take the lead in a group setting.
This is an important event so it's normal to feel a little nervous. If you get to choose the place, pick somewhere that is convenient and a good place to talk. You could suggest a quiet cafe or coffee shop or even meet in a pretty park. You can say something like, "Would you like to meet at The Coffee Shop? It's quiet, comfortable, and has great drinks." If your first meeting will include the parents, it might take place at the home of one of the families. Ask for it to be your family's home if that makes you feel more comfortable. Ask to change locations if someone suggests meeting in a place that you don't care for. You want to show the other person that you are taking this seriously, so don't be too casual. Dress up for the meeting, but don't go over the top. Go for a look that is both simple and sophisticated. Avoid wild prints or ill-fitting clothing. If you are a man, consider wearing some nice slacks with a collared shirt. Don't forget to make sure your shoes are in good shape! If you're a woman, a nice dress is a great choice. Stick to a more conservative silhouette that isn't too short or too tight. The point of this first meeting is to see if you are compatible and feel a connection with the other person. That means you're going to need to get personal! While it may feel strange, it is totally acceptable to ask a lot of in-depth questions. To make sure you don't forget anything, write down all of the topics you want to cover. You can group your questions into categories like "family," "work/finances," "faith," and "romance." Once you have your categories, you can come up with specific questions like, "What are the characteristics that are most important to you in a spouse?" You can take your notes to the meeting with you if that makes you feel calmer. Many times, the first meeting will include both sets of parents and some other elder family members. If that's the case, you won't have to do much of the talking. The parents will take the lead in asking most of the questions. You can concentrate on listening to and observing your potential partner. Of course, you will need to politely answer all of the questions that you are asked. Try to smile and speak clearly.