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. The savior and white knight often jumps from relationship to relationship, "rescuing" the helpless or damaged. If this describes you, it may be time to take a hiatus from relationships. If you are not in a long-term or committed relationship, take some time to enjoy being single and nurturing your own needs. Spending some time single can help you gain more awareness into your compulsive helping/rescuing tendencies. It can also give you time to explore the parts of yourself that trigger this habit. You may want to set an amount of time that you remain single to help you keep this goal. For example, you might want to give yourself six months. During this time, set goals for your self-improvement. Compulsive helpers often allow their efforts to fix others to prevent them from doing any personal development of their own. What's more, by viewing yourself as a savior you develop unrealistic goals that eventually wear away at your self-esteem. By creating realistic goals, you can rebuild. Select a goal for yourself that allows you to focus only on you. This might include anything from losing weight to writing a novel. Make it a SMART goal, which is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. You might say, "I want to lose 15 pounds in 10 weeks." Then, map out how you will achieve this goal: "I will eat a serving of vegetables at every meal. I will exercise 5 days per week. I will drink only water." Run through your goals with another person. They may be able to tell if you if the goals are realistic or not. They may also be able to give you ideas to achieve your goals. Individuals with a savior complex frequently dedicate all their time and energy to others, placing them in dire need of self-care. Balance your excessive helping of others by doing something nice for yourself. Create a routine that includes various nurturing activities. You might create a soothing nighttime ritual to help you sleep better. Adopt a new exercise habit such as running or yoga. Get your hair or nails done weekly. Or, simply run a warm bath and listen to relaxing music. Pour back into yourself. Ask a friend or family member to be an accountability partner. This is a person who will check in and make sure you're following through with your self-care. Ask them to check in with you often.
Be single Set objective goals for yourself. Create a self-care toolbox.