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Old habits are hard to break, and emotional triggers can fall into that category. To avoid and change a trigger, you'll need to replace some old habits and activities with new ones. You'll also need to avoid those circumstances that have proven to be triggers. For instance, if you know someone who gets belligerent when drunk and pushes a multitude of your triggers, stay away from that person when they're consuming alcohol. If not having enough money to pay your bills creates a trigger, then look at what you can cut from your budget. Avoid alcohol and other drug use. When you're under the influence of either substance and encounter a trigger, you won't have as much control over your emotions and your outbursts. Sometimes a time-out can help you calm down before re-engaging with a situation. You can use this time to think about the emotions you're experiencing and how to address them effectively. Try saying "I need some air" or "I'll get back to you on that." If someone tries to follow you, say "I really need to be alone right now." For example, if you are angry with your coworker and you don't want to harm your working relationship, you could say "we'll discuss this later" and walk away. You can write a note saying that you don't want to be disturbed, put it on your office door, and go inside. Then you can take the time to figure out whether and how to respond to her. Staying away from things that trigger you works in the short run, but it might not work in the long run. Avoiding triggers all the time can be stressful, and it may limit your life. Start small, and work your way up. Continue until you have successfully managed your emotions to the point that the experience is no longer a trigger. Take baby steps towards your goal. For example, perhaps you are afraid of crowds. Your first step might to briefly spend time in a crowded cafe or mall, and then leave and do something that calms you. Don't try to jump in headfirst. For example, if you are afraid of cats, don't lock yourself in a room with a cat right away. Perhaps step 1 is watching someone else pet a cat, or watching cat videos and learning more about cat body language so that they seem less unpredictable to you. Habit and lifestyle changes don't typically have immediate results. It may take weeks or months before you start noticing a change. This is normal, and it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. Set small goals. For example, if you tend to freeze up around a verbally abusive mother, step one might be learning how to say "I'll get back to you" and leaving the room. Don't punish yourself for not being able to ignore her yet. You have to master step 1 before you can handle step 5 or step 10. Reward yourself for making progress. Even if it's small progress, tell yourself that you did a great job, and be proud of yourself. Give yourself a physical reward (like a movie night or extra time to work on a hobby) if you'd like. Making progress is a big deal, so be proud of yourself!
Change your lifestyle. Take a time-out. Expand your window of tolerance gradually. Be patient with yourself.