Teacher: You are given a review about a place. You need to provide a rating from "1 star" to "5 stars" for this place.
Teacher: Now, understand the problem? If you are still confused, see the following example:
Although I did enjoy the food here, I was completely unimpressed (and slightly annoyed) by the overpriced margaritas. I ordered a platinum which contained "fresh" juice. It tasted like it had sprite in it, so I thought surely she gave me the wrong one. It turns out that "fresh juice" is really margarita mix on tap from the same gun as the sprite. I asked for something fresh to replace the horrible margarita and received a rocks glass with just muddled lime and a salted rim. I'm not sure it contained any tequila. Horrible! It's not that hard to make a fresh margarita!
Solution: 2 stars
Reason: The writer has been annoyed in this place and has enjoyed the food. So, "2 stars" sounds reasonable for it.

Now, solve this instance: Normally nature dictates that bulls mount heffers but come on down to Gilly's on Sunday nights for their bikini bull riding contest and you can lay witness to a cringeworthy role reversal. I don't know off-hand what the "winner" gets paid, but let's just say self-respect is going for pennies on the dollar.

This isn't to say you won't be entertained, especially if your daily vocabulary includes words like, "trainwreck" and "shitshow" or if you find it impossible not to stare when your visit to Baskin Robbins happens to coincide with a special ed group outing. Rather, this is to set the expectation that you won't see shapely bikini models flashing their lady bits as they gyrate their way into your spank bank. Instead, prepare to watch corn-fed big'uns getting tossed around like sacks of potatoes. If that's your thing, welcome to hog heaven.

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Cliff Notes Version: It must be jelly, 'cause jam don't shake like that.
Student:
3 stars