Problem: Article: Exclusion is not just embarrassing or stigmatizing, but actually quite painful. The pain of exclusion triggers the same part of your brain that physical pain does, meaning that ostracism is not just a blow to your ego. Understand that you will feel uncomfortable feelings and that letting yourself grieve in this situation is as important as keeping a broken arm in a sling. You wouldn't be out the very next day pitching a baseball game, would you? Try taking a day to yourself to process what happened. Don't be afraid to burst out sobbing, listen to sad music that matches your mood, or yell into a pillow if you feel angry and frustrated. These feelings will pass if you express them. Focus your efforts on making friends and developing relationships that you feel comfortable falling back on. For example, try finding a confidant--someone who you can trust to listen and be understanding when you need to talk about serious personal issues (and vice versa). This way, even if you venture out and take some risks socially, you know that you will never be left without anyone to turn to. Some of the pain of rejection comes from the fact that many of us have rigid standards and "shoulds" for what a social life should look like. Remember that it's not always realistic to expect to be a social butterfly with tons of different groups clamoring for your time. Satisfying social lives come in many forms, and it is the quality of relationships, not how many you have, that makes you feel connected and included For many people, having one or two deep friendships with lots of care and time involved is more fulfilling than having many friends who are hard to connect with one-on-one. . When you are confident in yourself, fewer and fewer social encounters really feel like exclusions (even if you get just as many invites as you did before developing your confidence!) Confidence is a state of mind that involves understanding that regardless of how you feel now, there will always be a place for you and all of the unique gifts that you bring to the table. Trust in the fact that the cards fall the way they do in order to teach you something meaningful. The hard part is dropping your expectations and beliefs about how things "should" turn out. Focus on past successes and the qualities that you have that contributed to that success. Use these qualities to improve other parts of your life, like making new friends. One common reaction to exclusion is to play the role of the victim by pouting and moping in excess. But, being a victim signals to other people that you expect to be befriended. This is typically not an attitude that draws people in, and it can make you put less effort into making friends without you even realizing it. If you have been excluded consistently in one domain (like school or work) or by the same group of people, do whatever you can to avoid painful reminders of exclusions. Of course, this can't be done completely--nor should you dedicate too much energy to escaping the memory. Just make efforts not to engage with specific people or return to the scenes of exclusion when possible. Since exclusion is such an emotional event, memory triggers can still bring painful feelings well after you make peace with what happened. For example, if your excluders are your peers at school you might not be able to avoid them in class. However, try to have as little face time as possible at lunch and after classes. The endorphins that are released during cardiovascular exercise are notoriously helpful for elevating mood. Especially if feeling excluded is contained to one event, this can help you deal with the immediate emotional aftermath. Try to integrate brisk walks into your routine, at the minimum, or try activities like running, cycling, swimming, and high intensity yoga. You may want to consider taking the suggested dose of acetaminophen (like Tylenol) at night when you go to sleep and in the morning waking up. Doing this can help diminish the hurt feelings that usually arise with social rejection because it lowers the sensitivity of our neural censors for pain. OTC medications such as acetaminophen have a risk of side effects. You should check with your doctor before taking any medication, especially if you plan to use acetaminophen for an "off label" purpose (off label meaning that you are taking the drug for reasons other than what the FDA has approved it for treatment of a condition, the conditions that are listed on the label). When exclusion occurs frequently or one instance stays on your mind for a long period of time, you can feel seriously devastated. Since depression, substance abuse, and suicide are common for people dealing with long-term ostracism, take steps to get a handle on your feelings as soon as possible. Psychologists can help you talk through these feelings and make behavioral modifications that will be more likely to bring about success socially.
Summary: Let yourself grieve. Foster fulfilling relationships. Choose to value quality over quantity. Focus on self-confidence Remove reminders of the excluders. Get active. Consider taking over-the-counter pain medication. Seek therapy.

Problem: Article: After you've strained the martini into the glass, twist the lemon strip that you cut over the glass to express the oils. Next, rub the peel along the rim of the glass. If you plan to use olives as a garnish in place of the lemon peel, place one or two on a toothpick to ready them. Once you've rubbed the lemon peel around the rim of the glass, make sure that it's still twisted. Drop it into the martini so it floats in the drink. If you're using olives instead, place the toothpick with them on it into the glass. They won't float, so you may want to hook them on the rim. If there is any excess martini left in the shaker after you strain it for serving, strain the remainder into a regular glass. Place the glass in a bowl full of ice so it will remain chilled until you're ready to drink or serve the rest.
Summary:
Express the lemon strip over the glass and rub along the edge. Float the peel in the martini. Strain the excess martini mixture.