Q: Putting in a little extra time and effort on your end shows the person that you are taking their time and effort into consideration, and that you value the favor they are doing for you. Here are a few examples of ways you might make the experience easier for them: If your destination is a place regularly frequented by most people, such as the grocery store, offer to accompany them whenever they are next planning to go, rather than requesting they make a special trip. If you live at the corner of a difficult intersection, offer to walk a block or two in order to meet them where it's easier to pull over. If they are giving you a ride somewhere that they may have never been before, make sure you have clear directions, or have the address already plugged into the map function on your smart phone. Be ready to go at least five minutes before you expect them to show up, so that they won't have to wait for you in the instance that they are running a few minutes ahead of schedule. Try to make the other person's experience of being in the car with you as enjoyable as possible. This is not only respectful, but it will also increase the likelihood of this person agreeing to help you in the future. Often being pleasant is just a matter of not doing certain annoying things: Don't criticize the person's car, for instance, no matter how beat up or messy it is. Don't criticize their driving, and avoid being a "backseat driver". Don't fiddle with any of the car's dials. Even if they are listening to most boring talk radio station ever, or the air conditioning is freezing your face off. If you absolutely must, ask the driver politely if they'd be willing to change the radio station or turn the air down. Don't be a chatterbox. If the other person wants to talk, that's great! But if they don't seem like they are interested in chatting, let yourself be comfortable with the silence. Some people need quiet in order to concentrate while they drive, or they might be particularly interested in what they're listening to on the radio. While you might not be able to pay the person back in kind, you should still find a way to show your appreciation. What this entails exactly will depend on your preexisting relationship with the person, and the degree of inconvenience to them. If you get a ride home from a coworker who lives in the same building as you, a simple text saying "Thanks again for the ride! I really appreciate it!" might suffice. But if a friend wakes up at three thirty in the morning to drive you an hour to the airport, you probably want to consider something a little more meaningful. Perhaps you can pick them up a small gift on your trip, or treat them to dinner when you get back. However, if you are dealing with prohibitive financial issues and can't afford a gift or dinner, a thoughtful, hand-written thank you card will work, too. Make sure to do this after they have agreed to help you, as otherwise it can seem like you're trying to obligate them. For instance, don't bake your friend cookies and as she's biting into the first one, ask her for a ride to the dentist next Friday.
A: Make it as easy as possible for the person who is giving you the ride. Be pleasant in the car. Plan to reciprocate.

Q: The last thing you want is to add to your friend's negativity by being too critical or hostile. If you would like to tell your friend that you think he is seeing a situation more negatively than necessary, think about the best way to say this. Use "I"-statements rather than "you"-statements. For example, "Quit being so negative" is going to have less of a positive effect than "I feel like there's more to the situation than you're seeing." "I"-statements sound less judgmental, which can make the other person more open to hearing what you have to say. What you say isn't the only important factor. Tone and nonverbal cues are just as important. Yelling or throwing your hands up in defeat are going to increase negativity in the room rather than work to fight the fire effectively. Gentle eye contact and nodding along to what your friend is saying, if you agree, are great ways to create a positive interaction. Maintain an even tone of voice. Staying calm when your friend blows up may help her realize that there's more than one way to respond to a problem. Research shows that speaking slowly causes people to perceive you as "more caring and sympathetic." In order to communicate with a negative friend in a way that promotes positivity and keeps you from falling into the same negativity, pay attention to how fast you are speaking. You want to be compassionate and positive in your approach, but that's not the same thing as allowing yourself to be stepped on. Sometimes a negative friend may try to override your opinions. Maintain a firm stance when it comes to your freedom to express yourself and have a differing point of view. Assertiveness is about meeting the needs of everyone involved, not just one person. Clearly express your desires, wants, and needs. Use direct language that can't be contradicted. For example, say "The way that you're acting right now makes me uncomfortable. I'm going to leave, but we can talk later if you want." Include empathy. For example, "I understand that you want to keep talking about this, but I'm not comfortable with this conversation, so I'm going to leave." Set limits. For example, "I am happy to listen to your complaints for five minutes, but then I would like us to change the subject so we don't get too bogged down in negative feelings." If a friend is negatively ruminating on something, change the subject to something you know will cheer him up. Injecting positivity into a situation can be a lot easier and more effective than trying to fight negativity. For example, if your friend is complaining about a bad day at work, ask him if he wants to go bowling or see a movie. Offer to pay for his ticket.
A:
Think about your words. Be careful about delivery. Watch your pace. Assert yourself. Change the direction of the conversation.