IN: Tonight was the first night I allowed myself to get sucked into some fandom stuff . I have n't really been keeping up with it lately , simply because 1 ) I did n't have lots of access to the internet in Russia , 2 ) when I was finally home I wanted to spend the time with family instead of on the computer , 3 ) when I was n't spending time with family I was crashing , and 4 ) being back at school I ' ve just tried to get back to school ... not fandom . But tonight I allowed myself to browse and almost get lost in fandom again , and it was cool .
Why is the narrator going all out with their internet hobbies ?

OUT: They did n't have internet when traveling .

IN: I really went through a hard time with this because I do n't get to spend time with my friends when they invite me to go to the mall to shop or to watch a movie . I have to cook food before I go to school because I do n't want to buy them at school , I need to save money . My parents were so proud of me when I did mall of that and eventually got my new canon sd 1000 .
Why were my parents so proud of me ?

OUT: I was able to change my spending habits to save for something I wanted

IN: And , most importantly , I might find a reason to live . Now that sounds more depressing than it 's intended to be , and I mean it exactly how I put it . I just feel like I ' m at a dead end , here in the Netherlands , as I ' m getting nowhere with my education . I have n't gained a single fucking thing in the last seven or so years in highschool , as I only got the lowest degree and I do n't intend to use it .
Why is the person describing things in this self admittedly depressing way ?

OUT:
They feel at their wit 's end with life and discussing this is somewhat helpful