Summarize:

One of the ways you may be enabling your alcoholic loved one is by drinking with them. You might rationalize that if you are there you can stop them from going overboard, but what you are doing is actually condoning the behavior. If you are able to consume alcohol responsibly, do so away from the alcoholic. If they are around, suggest healthier alternatives for dealing with stress, such as exercise or a comedy film. Giving an alcoholic money reinforces their addiction. Even if the cash isn't intended to buy alcohol, you are still enabling their alcoholism by financing them. If they had to face the financial consequences of their drinking, they'd be forced to get help. The next time the alcoholic asks you for money, say something like, "Heather, whenever I give you money, you use it for alcohol. I won't do it anymore." Don't apologize or come up with a handy excusejust refuse. You may have fallen into the habit of lying and making excuses for the alcoholic. Maybe you call in to their workplace and say they're sick. Or, maybe you lie and say you helped them finish the bottle of vodka when they really did it alone. Don't use your words to get the alcoholic out of trouble or keep the addiction hidden. Doing so simply gives them permission to continue. It is important for them to face the consequences of their actions and deal with them on their own. All in all, your enabling prevents the alcoholic from facing the consequences of their addiction. By letting these consequences play out, you offer your loved one the best chance of recovering. The idea of letting your loved one "hit rock bottom" may be frightening, but many experts in the addiction community find that when a person doesn't experience a rock bottom, they aren't motivated to change. You can still assure their relative safety by taking measures to prevent them from hurting themselves or someone else. For example, you might take their keys if they are attempting to drink and drive. They'll be forced to catch a ride or hail a cab, but they won't be able to hurt anyone.
Don't consume alcohol with the person. Don't give the person money. Stop lying and making excuses for the person. Let some of the natural consequences take place.