Q: Ok so I was bored and I watched it all the way through.

This film is mild, inoffensive and lacklustre. The story is so sugary it rots your teeth on the opening titles. A tail of two 'traumatised' children learning about 'God' the fairy story way which frankly left me rather traumatised. It uses the Irish 'blarney' in such a stereotypical way one hopes no true Irish ever see it. Aimed at children who frankly would switch off after the first attempt at an 'OIRISH' accent. All in all why do they pump these out.
A: negative
Q: A cheap exploitation film about a mothers search for her daughter who has been kidnapped by people who make snuff porno films. The trail leads the mother all over Europe as she searches for her child and we in the audience struggle to stay asleep.

This is one of the countless soft-core sleaze films that are made for people who want the excitement of porno with out the stigma or danger of it showing up on their credit card bill.Personally I'd rather have the stigma since those films tend to be more interesting and honest about what we're seeing. This is suppose to be a sexy thriller but its not. Mostly its people talking about things followed by lots of walking from place to place and lead to lead.Periodically through out the film various people get undressed and everything has more than a touch of S&M to the proceedings. The violence and fetish material is of the sort to provoke laughter rather than horror or even excitement, its all so incredibly fake. Worse there is not even enough nudity to keep it interesting. (Basically par for the course for many of these films)

You'll forgive my lack of details but it simply is a dull boring film that I stayed with to the end hoping for something remotely prurient to occur, but there was nothing. The most interesting thing was the blonde haired villainess with the huge over bite and nose the size of a Buick. I watched her with morbid fascination wondering what she had looked like as a young girl and wondering whether she had had plastic surgery, not the type of things you should be thinking about in a gripping thriller.

Avoid.
A: negative
Q: I wouldn't normally write a comment on-line, but this is the worst movie I've ever seen. Not only that it's filmed just like a soap series ("The young and the restless" is really filmed by professionals compared to this), but it also has awful cuts. It has no action. It is full of useless garbage.

Here's an example: a guy wants to kill the main character as he got fired because of him. So (after loads of crap) here they are: the guy puts a knife at his throat and says something like "You're dead now". Then the main character says: "If you kill me you're dead. I've told the police you're threatening me". So the (killer) guy goes like (just about to cry): "Oh no... the cops are following me!?!! Oh... my God".

Remember: this is just an example. I really cannot believe this movie actually exists. So: IF you want to see the WORST movie ever... go ahead, I recommend it :)
A: negative
Q: There can be no questions of spoilers for this movie, the director beat us all too and spoiled this movie in oh so many ways.

A blatant rip-off of stuff like Critters and Gremlins, this movie fails on so many levels to recapture the humour and horror of those better made films. It ends up a sleazy waste of time, where bad actors deliver bad dialogue in front of an idiot director, who occasionally tosses stuffed toys at them. They wrestle with said toys in much the same manner as old Tarzan films used to use rubber crocodiles, shaking them whilst screaming and trying their best to make it look slightly threatening. It's painful to watch, and not helped by the mental 80's fashions worn by the cast.

Basically, some crazy little aliens who have been trapped by an aging security guard in a film lot finally get free after umpteen years confinement, and begin to telepathically screw around with peoples minds. The guards new recruit, the idiot who let them out despite repeated warnings, gets his gang of 80's friends together and they go off and have minor adventures together while trying to recapture the Grem... Hobgoblins.

All life is here, with the gang consisting of a knucklehead jock, his 80's slut girlfriend, the 'hero's frigid and prissy girlfriend, and the young hero, lacking in confidence and wishing his girlfriend would put out anyway.

First off comes the infamous rake fighting scene, where the ex-military jock shows how he was trained in the army to be a bully, poking the nerdy hero with the wrong end of a rake for what seems like hours. Then there's some running around, terminating in a real pie-fight style ending in a scuzzy nightclub with comedy hand-grenades blowing up everything except the people standing right next to them. Then the film sorta ends, and alls well that ends well.

It's not. This is like watching a train wreck, you cant take your eyes off it, it's so bad. Perfect fare for Mystery Science Theater, but god-awful should you try to watch it alone and uncut. The Fashion Police still have a number of outstanding warrants for the cast, and I dare anyone not to laugh in outright derision at the rake fight. This scores 2 out of 10 at most, on a good day.
A: negative