input: With the current trend of gross out humor, this film is the granddaddy of them all. While some of the humor is dated, every skit will either shock, repulse, or make you laugh out loud. Most memorable is the sex games commentary and, of course, the VD commercial. It doesn't always work, but pays off when it does. I give this a 7.

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pos/neg ans: positive

input: Stifler, has finished running his naked mile and is now attending Beta House. Crazy stuff happens, people run around naked and nerds are made fun of and this series is dead in the water. The Naked Mile was a crap film, but I found it to be significantly better then Band Camp. It seems they've gone back to what didn't work for them and it shows that they don't care either. You can tell where the target audience is and they nailed it perfectly. Young teenage boys who like to see naked women, crude humour and beer drinking will love Beta House, everyone else can pretty much look away.

Star Wars became a massive success that stunned audiences with it's ahead of its time special effects. Lord of the Rings created an entire world of mythical creatures and massive battles that dazzled the eye. The Matrix changed the way action and sci/fi films were made, specifically with the cutting edge special effects. With all the advancement in technology, we eagerly await the next big thing that will have our jaws dropped to the floor. Then comes American Pie: Beta House, which pushes the boundaries of what technology can do. When people have created spaceships, landscapes and creatures using CGI, Beta House decides to use this technology to create semen. Yes, the thing that creates life, the thing you see so many times in pornography films is created and time slows down to show us the white residue shoot across the room onto a teddy bear. Is this funny? Disgusting? Neither? Beta House shows more nudity then The Naked Mile, which is surprising considering the previous installments title. Does the film need it? Of course not, does it ever advance the plot, does it ever? Does it ever get a laugh? Does it ever get young boys aroused? Yes the women are beautiful, but if I am the one who thinks there is too much nudity then you might as well just have made a porno.

The female who catches the affections of our main character is pretty and doesn't annoy the viewer, like previous girls have done in the series, but not once did I ever believe this character would ever do what she does. I'm pretty sure every action from the characters in this film are far from realistic. The American Pie series has fallen from a realm of reality into a fantasy world. None of the events in this film would ever happen, if they ever did then I need to attend this school IMMEDIATELY. Is this film suppose to make people feel like they are having a good time? Well it doesn't, we are watching them have a good time, by the end of the film we hate them for all the fun they are having.

There is a "Deer Hunter" scene in the film, but to make it "funny" for today's audience they decided to substitute bullets wit horse semen. Are you laughing yet? Instead of shooting themselves with said semen in the head, or face, they place the gun in their mouths. Are you on the floor laughing yet? The first time we are introduced to Stifler's roommate, he's having sex with his girlfriend. Are you cheering at the nudity yet? The film at first seems like it will be about the boys trying to get into the frat house, but then it shifts to them already being in the frat house, but needing to perform certain tasks. Then it shifts to a competition between nerds and the boys. It goes a little "Revenge of the Nerds" on us for a bit and it seems out of place. I honestly do not know what these film is about because it goes all over the place.

Most of the comedy seems forced for shock value. Even at the beginning with the Dad showing his son the list of people he has had sex with. The joke is in there somewhere, I think it might be the fact that his wife is not the last name on the list, or it could have been that one of his son's friend's mother was on the list. Either one, it doesn't work.

I guess if you haven't guessed it yet, this film is not funny. Nor does it seem to be focused, the story is pathetic and the so called crude humour that the series has been known for doesn't shock. Skip this lame installment and any future ones as well. I do not know why I have seen all the entries in the series, but for some unknown reason they seem to have found their way to my eyes.

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pos/neg ans: negative

input: I love the episode where Jim becomes the Greenman. It is great! When Jim tosses that little person through the window, the look on his face is priceless. Then when he starts to address the Priest in his wife's behalf only to find out that she has become the Pee-Woman? Great writing and great casting along with great acting makes this a must see. I am attempting to find a certain photo from that episode. I'd like to use it as my avatar on a message board because I think the Greenman is hilarious. Does anyone know where I can download a photo of Jim as the Greenman? Can anyone point me in the right direction to find such a photo?

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pos/neg ans: negative

input: I'd love to give Kolchak a higher rating but the show quickly went from scary/suspenseful to silly. ABC's fault. They moved the show to Friday nights at 8:00 p.m., then known as the "family hour". Never should have been on Fridays in the first place. I was a sophomore in high school and loved the early episodes! It was first up against Police Woman on NBC. ABC had huge problems with Friday nights. Bad season for them overall until Barney Miller, Baretta, and SWAT debuted in January of '75. Kolchak should have been a hit. Darren McGavin begged to get out of his contract to end the show. Too bad the writing wasn't up to Richard Matheson's in the original TV movies. Still, McGavin made Kolchak his own, as actors can do. Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden and Caroll O'Connor as Archie Bunker come to mind. That INS set with the manual typewriters and clacking teletypes seems quaint and ancient today, yet that was part of the appeal. They were very lucky to have Simon Oakland reprise "Vincenzo" from the TV films.

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pos/neg ans:
positive