If you want to expand your influence, it's important to spend time focusing on the people who matter the most. Whether you're in a position of authority or you're low on the totem pole, pick out the people who'll be able to help you make a difference, or the people who'll be the most likely to go along with you and your ideas. Don't waste time and energy on people who don't matter. It's not your job to influence every single person in your life. If your coworker has no authority over you, won't collaborate, and irritates you, ignore them. Truth-telling and influence go hand-in-hand. Make it your goal to be as honest as possible with people you want to influence. If you don't like an idea your employee brings you, be honest and say so as kindly as possible. Don't withhold uncomfortable truths, make it your goal to stay truthful and people will respect you. Bluntness can be a turnoff in some cases, or it can be refreshing and influential. Still, it's important to exercise tact and pay close attention to the fine line between hurting someone's feelings and being honest. When you're interacting with people one-on-one, practice building rapport with people and instilling trust and confidence. Good conversational skills are more than just saying the right thing. To build rapport, make sure you: Maintain personal space and distance Look others in the eye Breathe slowly and maintain an even tone of voice Match your diction to others If you've guessed what someone's going to say before they say it, you'll be able to influence much easier. Work on organizing your thoughts and thinking about what you have to say ahead of time, so you don't have to think and speak on the fly. Anticipate other peoples' reactions and responses to think of what you're going to say before you say it. Negotiation and arbitration is a very important part of being influential. Working together to build the best possible ideas helps to give others the sense that you're willing to listen. Make sure that you take multiple perspectives into consideration and let others contribute. Make it a team effort. Let other people come up with your ideas. If you're convinced that you've got the right answer, lead others through your thinking, but don't come up with a solution yet. When someone else sees where it's going, praise their great idea, even if it was yours.

Summary: Identify the people you need to influence the most. Be honest. Establish conversational rapport. Anticipate the expectations of others. Be willing to collaborate.

Each person's experience with grief is different. That means that no level of expertise will equip you to tell the person in mourning how he should respond. Your role is to provide company, listen, and validate their feelings. Don't tell, listen. Constantly reinforce that their response is normal and natural. Encourage them to use their own skills to cope with grief. If they are an artist, encourage them to use this ability to express his feelings. Help them understand and recognize their feelings. Help them develop a schedule that allows them to manage their daily tasks while reducing unnecessary outside stressors. Remember that your job is to be there, not to take away the pain. That is impossible. Your job is to support them, not to try to fix them. It is important to make it clear that you understand the person's feelings. Be sure that they know that such feelings are natural and that people experience grief differently. It might be useful to explain some of the common responses to grief and make it clear that they are natural. Those who experience instrumental grief focus on problem solving and try to control emotional responses. Those who experience intuitive grieving have intense emotional experiences that might include depression and thoughts about mortality. It is common for people to blame themselves, feel anger, hopelessness, anxiety, and withdrawal from the world. Don't ask leading questions or "yes" and "no" questions. Ask big, broad questions, that encourage him to think about his feelings and explore the subjects that he is interested in. Make it clear that you want to know what he feels, but are not questioning the validity of his feelings. Do not ask "why" questions. These make it sound as if you do not understand or support his feelings. Ask broad questions like "How do you feel?" Ask "What bothers you the most?" Instead of asking "Why do you feel that way?" ask "Could you give me specific examples?" When you are trying to get to the core of her problems, try giving a short summary of what you think she has told you. This will demonstrate that you are listening and might help her get a better grip on what is bothering her the most. If she tells you, "I stay up every night thinking about him. When I go to work I am tired and can't think clearly. I am getting more and more nervous and depressed because I can't function during the day." Ask, "So your grief is causing sleep problems that disrupt your life?" When you get a sense for how he feels, verify that you have correctly understood his emotions. This is a way to demonstrate that you are listening and that you have developed an emotional connection. Try, "Sounds like you are very angry about what has happened." Alternatively, "It sounds like you are having difficulty understanding your emotions." Everything you do should be directed at her. Anything that suggests your focus is elsewhere will be counterproductive. You should avoid forcing your own solutions upon her. Do not watch the clock. Do not take notes. Do not look around the room. Do not try to read too much into her feelings and impose your own idea or her feelings on her. Do not preach or lecture about what she should do. Refrain from giving too much advice or asking too many questions. Do not respond too quickly. Allow moments of silence. Do not change the subject. Do not talk too much about yourself.

Summary: Act as a companion. Validate feelings. Ask open questions. Paraphrase responses. Reflect his feelings. Refrain from unsupportive behavior.

Most people cut across the width of a lemon. Instead of doing that, make a vertical cut down the center of each lemon. It makes the lemon halves easier to squeeze, allowing you to get a little more juice out of them. Electric juicers are similar to the spiked manual ones. Push the cut end of the lemon onto the spike in the center, then turn on the juicer. The spike rotates to make as much juice as possible. The only downside is that it also cuts up the pith you may not want in your juice. If you need to remove the pith, you can pour the juice through a strainer. Some blenders and stand mixers have juicer attachments. Connect the attachment to your device for a quick way to create lemon juice!

Summary: Cut the lemons lengthwise in half with a sharp knife. Put the lemon in an electric juicer if you don't mind pulp.

If you have fine or thin hair, using a volumizing shampoo and conditioner can help give you bigger hair. They cleanse and moisturize your tresses without weighing them down, so your hair appears fuller and thicker. While fine or thin hair needs moisture too, using conditioner at the roots can weigh down your hair so it looks flat. To get more volume, only apply conditioner to the ends of your hair from the ears down. If your hair isn't particularly dry, you don't necessarily need to condition every time you wash your hair. Using conditioner every other time may provide all the moisture that you need and leave your hair looking fuller. Put a little conditioner in the palm of your hand, then use it to gently scrunch the ends of your hair. This way, you can moisturize your ends without weighing down the rest of your hair. If your hair and scalp tend to get dried out, your scalp may compensate by producing more oils, which can lead to a flat look. If your hair tends to get limp and greasy at the roots and dry in the lengths and tips, try switching to a gentler, more hydrating shampoo. Try washing every other day instead of every day to give your hair and scalp time to rebalance. Hair that is healthy and hydrated will look fuller than dehydrated hair.
Summary: Choose a volumizing shampoo and conditioner. Apply conditioner in the right area. Avoid over-washing to prevent dryness.