THE GIFT OF LIFE submitted by Amber Tozer On the very first day, God created the cow. He said to the cow, "Today I have created you! As a cow, you must go to the field with the farmer all day long. You will work all day under the sun! I will give you a life span of 50 years." The cow objected, "What? This kind of tough life you want me to live for 50 years? Let me have 20 years, and the 30 years I'll give back to you." So God agreed. On the second day, God created the dog. God said to the dog, "What you are supposed to do is to sit all day by the door of your house. Any people that come in, you will have to bark at them! I'll give a life span of 20 years." The dog objected, "What? All day long to sit by the door? No way! I give you back my other 10 years of life!" So God agreed. On the third day, God created the monkey. He said to the monkey, "Monkeys have to entertain people. You've got to make them laugh and do monkey tricks. I'll give you 20 years life span." The monkey objected. "What? Make them laugh? Do monkey faces and tricks? Ten years will do, and the other 10 years I'll give you back." So God agreed. On the fourth day, God created man and said to him, "Your job is to sleep, eat, and play. You will enjoy very much in your life. All you need to do is to enjoy and do nothing. This kind of life, I'll give you a 20 year life span." The man objected. "What? Such a good life! Eat, play, sleep, do nothing? Enjoy the best and you expect me to live only for 20 years? No way, man!....Why don't we make a deal? Since the cow gave you back 30 years, and the dog gave you back 10 years and the monkey gave you back 10 years, I will take them from you! That makes my life span 70 years, right?" So God agreed. AND THAT'S WHY.... In our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play, enjoy the best and do nothing much. For the next 30 years, we work all day long, suffer and get to support the family. For the next 10 years, we entertain our grandchildren by making monkey faces and monkey tricks. And for the last 10 years, we stay at home, sit by the front door and bark at people!
Answer: Good joke
Last month we were looking for a sword stand as Christmas gift for our Rice MBA stockbrokeress who is deeply into Japanese martial arts. We finally found an inexpensive one on the Internet. We may be the only people in the 'hood who hadn't eaten at Texas Chic, one block west of Leather by the Boots, on the other side of the street at 712? Fairview. It's been owned and operated for decades by Teodoro Gonzalez who lives on Bomar, next to the new townhouses. He and his wife make great Puerto Rican food and watching him slice bananas while carrying on a conversation without taking his eyes off of you is unique experience. At 08:15 PM 1/9/2002 -0600, you wrote:
Answer: *EMCA* A great tip
Although this is definitely not the best way to announce it, today is my last day at Enron Canada Corp. and I wanted to let you know that it has been a real pleasure working with you over the last couple of years. I apologize for letting you know by e-mail instead of giving you a call. Unfortunately, the mechanics of my employment change required me to avoid phoning you all earlier. Just so you know, I am returning to my old job in the world of private practice at Bennett Jones LLP here in Calgary. I do not have my new e-mail address or phone number yet but you can reach me at the main switchboard at (403) 298-3100 starting December 3, 2001. My mugshot, direct line and e-mail address should be appearing on the Bennett Jones website (www.bennettjones.ca) within the next month. In the meantime, I will be taking a couple of weeks to spend with my wife and 3 month old son Jimmy. I wish nothing but the best for you and if you ever find yourself in the Great White North of Calgary, please give me a call. All the best,
Answer: Personal News
Hi All, Attached is the OPM Monthly Hours Survey for November. I need this returned to me no later than this Friday, November 30 at 12 noon. Please do the following: 1.) Please click on your region's / cost center's tab in the attached spreadsheet and enter the appropriate percentages of time that you and your employees spend on each of the tasks listed in the spreadsheet. 2.) Please verify that the Charge Allocations listed in the spreadsheet are correct and that the correct percentages are allocated to each of the trading desks. 3.) Please note that the percentages currently in the spreadsheet are from last month. Please change any of these numbers as is appropriate to reflect October's activities. 4.) Please make any other changes that may be needed regarding employees, titles, etc. Please note that the spreadsheet is located on O:/logistics/management/time allocation/OPM November Totals Thank you so much for your cooperation in this matter. If you have any questions, please let me know. Thanks,
Answer:
November OPM