input: Write a negative yelp review.
output: I had my appendix out last year. Which was nice. I was gutted though, I wanted an awesome scar and instead I got three tiny ones. Overshare? Bloody modern keyhole surgery. Anyway, I'm not here to talk about that - obviously the surgery was a total success and I was cured. I'm going to talk about my experience of the Western General. I was only there for three nights, yet I was moved to four different rooms. That means I was moved twice in one day. That just happened to be the day after surgery when I was in a lot of pain and didn't really want to be disturbed. I understand if they need to move you, but it seemed a bit excessive. Also, there is NOTHING to do! There are no TVs, no reading material. I asked the nurse if she could possibly get me a paper. She brought me back Heat. Great. Just great. I mean, I learnt a lot about Katie Price but it went straight into my slipstream of vacuous crap. And the food was hospital food. So all in all, it was a pretty lousy experience. I hope I'm not ill again.
input: Write a negative yelp review.
output: So, I love all things Top Chef in any of its various forms, and I am trying to have a Top Chef food baby before I die. I am slowly but surely working my way up to this goal with much planning. So imagine my surprise -- nay, sheer delight -- when I espied in McCarran Airport Terminal D, David Burke's "Burke in the Box." Whaaa? Since it was 10:20 in the morning, I was nursing a hang- and gambling-over, and we had almost two hours to kill before our flight, I thought breakfast here (at a Top Chef-touched eatery in the *airport*!!) would really scratch a lot of itches. All it did was irritate. After drooling over the breakfast menu (I couldn't *wait* to sink my teeth into a pretzel bread eggwhite sammie with tomato, 'shrooms, and feta), the server informed us breakfast was over at 10 and we were now on the lunch menu. I'm sorry, breakfast ends at TEN did you say?? I get that this is Vegas and time doesn't really exist/count here, but on what planet -- besides high schools -- do people eat lunch at 10:05? So I ended up ordering a *ten dollar* tuna sandwich and husband ended up ordering a Caesar salad. Wow, David Burke. Just...wow. Salad was romaine, cuke, tomato, Asiago (completely unconventional ingredients in a Caesar) and KEN'S DRESSING IN A BAGGIE. So boring husband kept dozing off in the *plastic bowl* it came in and nearly poking himself in the eye with the *plastic cutlery*. My sandwich was fine -- the tuna salad itself was actually quite good, with all white meat albacore, capers, celery, onion, and a touch of mayo -- but the rye bread was really thick and really dry so I ended up just eating the salad off of it. The fries it came with were crispy and golden but didn't have a ton of flavor, and the *tissue thin paper napkin* couldn't keep up with my greasy fingers. I overheard another waitress telling a different table that for $1 extra they could add Asiago and truffle oil to their fries. Gimme a break, Burke. Truffle oil fries and Ken's baggie dressing on the same menu? Make up your mind. Service was actually pretty good, especially since it was our server's second day. He was on top of the ball and we never had to wait long for anything. He even swooped in with a drink refill before I had the chance to open my big mouth. Best part about Burke in the Box? Watching the Bears hand the Cowboys their butts on home turf. [Top Chef: David Burke]
input: Write a positive yelp review.
output:
Great little local Chinese restaurant. I called and asked if they had an online menu and they don't, but Rita graciously emailed me photos of the menu. The food was fresh and tasty. I was told 45 min for delivery and they showed up within 15 minutes.