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Though the impulse may be strong to just hide the report card from your parents, resist the temptation. Hiding your grades will point to your immaturity, while taking responsibility and approaching your parents shows maturity. Your parents may also be very angry if you hide it from them, which is something you definitely don't want. Don't put off telling your parents, either. You don't want them to ask, "Why are you just telling me about this now?" or "Why didn't you tell me as soon as you got the report card?" Even if you approach a more understanding parent individually at first, eventually you're going to have to talk to both of them together. By addressing them both in person, you show them that you're owning up to your mistakes and are willing to have hard discussions with them. This will go a long way toward earning their respect. Tell them that you have some bad grades before showing them the actual report card. It's easier to hear something than to see it in black and white, so the shock won't be as jarring for them. When you talk to your parents, explain why you think you did poorly this grading period. This opens up a dialogue between you and your parents. You want to communicate to them that you are aware of your performance and your strengths and weaknesses. Show them the list you made and go through all the reasons together. Have an honest discussion. Don't provide excuses. Refrain from saying things like, "My teacher is mean!" or "It's not my fault!" Also, don't lie or deny what the report card says by saying, "I didn't know I was missing homework" or "I didn't know I talked too much in class." Take responsibility for your actions. This shows your parents you are mature, responsible, and willing to improve. Present your parents with the way in which you plan to improve your grades. Explain the reasoning behind your plan and why you think it will work. Write down the plan and give it to your parents so they know the steps you are taking. Ask them for their advice on how you could improve it further. Explain to your parents that you are not satisfied with your grade. This shows them that you are taking this very seriously. Don't just tell your parents that you are going to do better - show them. Giving them a structured plan of how you aim to improve shows them you are serious about improving. Knowing what you and your parents think are good and bad grades and comments can help you face your report cards. This also helps you understand their expectations of you. At the beginning of each school year, after a bad report card, or whenever you first think about it, you and your parents should get together and discuss what they expect your performance in school to be, what you expect your performance to be, and what you think you can achieve. This puts you and your parents on the same page, and gives you a mental idea of what you want to achieve. Keep in mind that doing well in school doesn't mean perfect straight A's. Not every student is a straight A student. For some students, their best is B's or even C's. Maybe an A in English is normal for you, but a C in math is an improvement. Strive to be the best you can be, but don't have impossible goals for yourself. Remember that as you move through school, the work will become more challenging. Don't freak out if you start making B's in a class you may have made A's in as you move to middle and high school. If this happens to you, explain to your parents that geometry was easy, but algebra and trig are much more difficult for you. Tell your parents that physical science was easier than chemistry. During your talk with your parents, point out the positive things on your report card. Even if you get some bad grades, it is important to focus on the good things on your report card. Sometimes, this might be difficult, but highlight any of your achievements. Did you get a positive effort comment from your teacher, or perfect attendance? One of the most important things to focus on are any academic achievements or improvements - no matter how small. Did you bring your grade up two points? Did you maintain your B average in science? Don't let the bad grades erase all the good work you did that is reflected on your report card. Also evaluate your bad grade - are you and your parents unhappy with your C in history? Is that C an improvement over your grade last term? If so, focus on the improvement and vow to keep improving it since you already have! Your parents were kids once, too, so don't assume that they're going to come down hard on you. They probably remember getting bad report cards themselves, and if this is your first one, ask them to be understanding. Remember, if you talk to them calmly and maturely, you will set a positive example. Stay polite and respectful, even when you get frustrated. When your parents get your news, they may be shocked and a little angry, but don't let yourself get defensive or angry in return. Be willing to take the punishments they throw at you like an adult. No report card is the end of the world. There is always room to improve and to better yourself and your grades. Plus, you now have a plan on how to fix the problem! You know how to do better, so promise your parents and yourself that you'll follow through. Improving your grades should be as much about yourself as it is for your parents. Don't get so discouraged and upset that you give up. Don't tell your parents, "I can't improve! I'm a loser! I'm stupid! This is impossible!" These types of thoughts aren't encouraging to you or your parents. Start by giving yourself small goals if the end goal seems too unattainable. Try saying, "I will improve my next quiz and test grade by 5 or 10 points." These small goals will add up to a noticeable larger improvement. Do you think that part of the reason you're struggling in class is that the teacher might be at fault? Be very honest here don't just blame the teacher if it's really your fault that you're doing poorly in school. Blaming the teacher without a good reason will only get you in hotter water both at home and at school. However, if you know that many other students in the class are struggling and that the teacher hasn't prepared you well enough to pass his or her exams, let your parents know that your teacher might be part of the problem. Suggest holding a parent-teacher conference where you are included. Talking to both your teacher and parents not only can help give you motivation and tips on how to improve, but it shows them that you are serious about your achievement. Be thoughtful in how you present this argument. Your parents might assume that you're trying to shift the blame, so give enough evidence to convince them that the teacher might be at least part of the problem. Tell them honestly if you don't trust yourself to stick to the schedule you set for yourself every single day, and ask them to keep you accountable. Promise that you won't resent them for helping you stick to your own plan. Some other ways parents can help you study include: Explaining difficult concepts in their own words. Sometimes teachers and textbooks phrase things in ways that are difficult to grasp. Maybe your parents, who know you and how your brain works, can explain things more clearly. Helping you make flash cards for yourself. Quizzing you. Going over your homework to make sure you didn't make any errors, and helping you correct those errors. Giving you extra assignments outside of school to give you more practice on the concepts you're struggling with. You need to understand that your parents are very busy, and they may not have as much time to spend on your homework as they'd like to. It's ultimately your own responsibility to study for school, so be grateful to your parents for any extra help they can give you. A private tutor will be specially trained to help you catch up to the rest of your classmates, but they can be pretty expensive. Don't hold it against your parents if they can't hire one for you. If a private tutor isn't an option, consider asking a classmate who's doing very well in the class to be your tutor. This way, you won't feel like you're working alone, and your parents won't have to spend a ton of money on a tutor. Keeping your parents informed about your grades through the school year eliminates any surprises on the report cards. Show them tests and quizzes when they are returned. Another idea is to take time every weekend to go over the past week's assignments. This keeps you and your parents aware of your progress. Keeping up with your assignments can also help you to identify any struggles you are having. If you suddenly got a bad grade on a quiz or a test, you and your parents can discuss what might be the problem and figure out how to correct it. This helps you deal with any difficulties you have in school before they become a huge problem.
Don't try to hide the report card from your parents. Talk to both of your parents together. Explain the reasons for your performance. Show them the action plan you created. Define what bad means with your parents. Focus on the positive. Don't assume your parents will get angry. Be optimistic. Ask your parents to speak to other parents or your teacher. Ask your parents to help you study. Ask your parents to hire a tutor. Talk to your parents about your grades between report card periods.