If you know your spouse has retained an attorney, you can contact him and ask if a divorce has been filed. However, the attorney has a duty of confidentiality to his client and is under no obligation to give you any information. If the answer is "no" or evasive, keep searching in order to verify whether a divorce has been filed. If the answer is "yes," you have several options. The first is to contact an attorney of your own and let her deal with your spouse on your behalf. Next is to deal directly with his attorney. If you don't have children and very little property, the divorce maybe be as simple as arranging a meeting to sign agreements. Remember that while your spouse's attorney may be very nice and helpful, he represents your spouse and his interests, not you. If are feel uncomfortable or pressured, back off and contact your own attorney. You have a right to copies of all documents and time to review them outside the attorney's office. This will depend on your individual situation. If your relationship with him is safe, meaning no history of domestic violence, sometimes the direct approach is the best. If your relationship with his family is cordial, a phone call to a parent or sibling may tip you to the truth. Check the social media pages for your spouse, his closest friends, and family. Also run an online of search of your spouse's name and "divorce." You may pick up an online docket or catch someone gossiping. Be very careful and verify you have found your spouse. In informal forums, people may use nicknames, odd spellings, and not use full names. However, it still gives you a place to start. Court clerks will speak to you over the phone, but in large counties they are very busy and may be brusque or not check the records thoroughly. It is better to go to the courthouse in person. Most courthouses have a public records computer terminal. You can search by your name or the name of your spouse. Check them carefully and get the right file. The documents can usually be printed for a small fee. Ask the court clerk's office for help. The counter clerk can look records up for you and confirm whether a divorce has been filed. If so, you can get copies of the documents for a small fee. If your spouse has moved to another county, you can contact that courthouse. The process is the same, you can contact them in person or by phone. You can also send a records request by mail. You will need to send a letter with both parties' full legal names and birth dates. It is also good to include the last four digits of the Social Security numbers to cut down on the possibility of duplicate records. There may be a fee for this service. Contact the court clerk's office to find out the cost and how to send payment with your written request. If you do not have an address for your spouse, you can call, visit, or send written requests to multiple counties where you believe your spouse may be living. This is more time-consuming, but may be the only way if you do not have an address. One duty of the county sheriff is to act as process server for legal documents. If your spouse is local, in another county, or even another state, they may have sent the divorce documents to the sheriff to serve on you. This is very common because it is economical and easy to arrange. If you work odd hours or travel, the sheriff may have been trying to contact you. If you find out the sheriff has divorce papers for you, arrange to pick them up as soon as possible. Avoiding service doesn't stop the divorce. If you and your spouse have been separated for a long time, or you have moved, the court may have allowed your spouse to effect service via publication in the local legal notice newspaper. Every county in the United States has at least one newspaper designated for publication of legal notices. Start with the most likely counties first. Where you live and where your spouse lives. Expand your search from there. Some states has searchable databases of legal notices. Others will require that you contact the newspaper by phone or in writing. Whether you want to hire an attorney to continue your search for a divorce filing or a private investigator to track down your ex so you can ask him or her if a divorce was ever filed, hiring a professional may be a good idea.
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One-sentence summary -- Contact your spouse's attorney. Confront your spouse and family. Conduct an online search. Contact your local courthouse. Contact the courthouse where your spouse lives. Make requests in multiple counties. Contact your local sheriff's office. Search legal publications. Hire a professional.

Do you know how long you are willing to be long distance? Does your partner know? It is important to agree on a length of time. If the distance depends on a circumstance with no certain end date, your reunion may keep getting pushed off. Make sure that you discuss the financial aspects of maintaining your relationship with your partner as well. Being in a long distance relationship can be expensive, especially if you travel often to see your partner. If your partner is waiting for a controlling parent to "back off," that means neither of you have any control over the date. Similarly, if you are waiting for a job to open up in your partner's city, you may be stuck waiting with no date in sight. To avoid this, agree on a date by which you will either move (with or without the job) or break up. For instance, you might say "I'll move to your city as soon as I find a job there. However, if I haven't found one in the next six months, I'll just move and take my chances." However, make sure that you have a conversation about finances before doing something like this to make sure that one partner is able to support the other as they look for a job. If you are planning to be in a perpetually distant relationship, make sure you are both okay with that. You should both feel comfortable with the amount of texting, calling, emailing, and visiting you do. Ask your partner if they feel you're at the right level, and ask yourself how you feel as well. If you find that one of you is feeling neglected or inundated, agree on a different schedule together. If it feels like only one of you is willing to compromise, your relationship might not be working. You should still be able to hang out with friends, visit family, go to parties, and have time to yourself. If you feel like your long distance relationship is making it impossible for you to have a social life where you are, you need to draw some boundaries. Tell your partner you can't visit them as frequently. Explain that you are feeling lonely from never making any friends where you are. Explain to your partner that you will schedule a certain amount of time to talk to them, but that you can't be on call constantly. If your partner freaks out or refuses, your relationship might not be working. Do you know the terms of your relationship? Does your partner? Ask yourself what you expect, then make this clear to your partner and ask what they expect as well. For instance, if you believe that you and your partner are monogamous, in love, and heading toward living together in the next few years, tell your partner! Similarly, if you believe you and your partner are in an open relationship, you'll need to define those terms as well. Being distant means communicating more, not less, so make an effort to get on the same page. If your partner wants to "keep it loose," that means they aren't willing to be open with you about their expectations. That's a bad sign.
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One-sentence summary --
Decide how long you can handle being in a long distance relationship. Keep a communication schedule that works for both of you. Make sure you can both maintain a social life. Clarify your expectations.