. To feel emotions along with someone else, you've got to be able to feel them in yourself. Are you tuned in to your feelings? Do you notice when you're feeling happy, sad, angry or afraid? Do you let these feelings rise to the surface, and do you express them? If you tend to tamp down your emotions instead of allowing them to be part of your life, work on letting yourself feel a bit more deeply. It's pretty common to push aside negative feelings. For example, it's more fun to distract yourself with TV or go to the bar than it is to sit down and think about something upsetting that happened. But pushing feelings aside creates a disconnect, a lack of familiarity. When you can't express your own sadness, how can you expect to feel someone else's? Take time every day to let your emotions surface. Instead of hurriedly blocking out negative feelings, think them through. Be angry and afraid, and deal with the feelings in a healthy way, like by crying, or writing your thoughts down, or discussing how you feel with a friend. . Hear what the person is saying, and notice the inflection in their voice. Observe all the little clues that belie a way that someone is feeling. Maybe her lip is trembling and her eyes are glistening. Maybe it's more subtle - she's looking down a lot, or she seems vacant. Put yourself aside and absorb the person's story. Set aside judgement while you listen. If you find yourself remembering a disagreement you had, or feeling critical about the person's choices, or feeling anything that takes you out of the moment, struggle to reorient yourself into listening mode. Have you ever read a moving story that was so engaging, you forgot yourself? For a few minutes there, you became that character, and you knew exactly how it would feel to see your father for the first time in 10 years or lose your love to someone else. Feeling empathy in a person isn't so different. When you're listening to someone and really trying to understand, a moment will come when you start feeling what the other person is feeling. You'll see a glimpse of what it means to be them. Empathy can be painful! It hurts to absorb someone else's pain, and it takes effort to engage on such a deep level. Perhaps that's why empathy is on the decline - it's just easier to keep conversations light, to stay safely self-contained. If you want to be more empathetic, you can't shy away from people's feelings. Realize that they're going to have an effect on you and that you might come away feeling different. But you'll have a deeper understanding of the other person, a foundation on which to build a more solid connection. Ask questions that show you're listening. Use body language that shows you're engaged: make eye contact, lean in a little, don't fidget. Nod, shake your head, or smile when it's appropriate to do so. These are all ways to show your empathy in the moment, to build trust with the person who is sharing feelings with you. If you seem distracted, look away, or give other cues that you're not listening or you aren't interested, the person will probably close up and stop sharing. Another way to show empathy is to share yourself, too. Making yourself as vulnerable as the other person is can build trust and mutual connection. Let down your guard and get into the conversation. Being empathetic toward someone is a learning experience, and it's good to let the knowledge you gained influence your future actions. Maybe that means standing up for someone who gets bullied a lot, because you understand him better now. It might change the way you behave next time you meet someone new, or your views on certain social or political issues. Let empathy influence the way you move through the world.

Summary: Get in touch with your own emotions Listen carefully Pretend that you're the other person. Don't be afraid to feel uncomfortable. Show the other person you feel for them. Use your empathy to help other people.

The broken up leaves found in teabags may over-steep and turn bitter faster than loose leaf tea. Loose leaf tea tends to create more complex flavors. That said it might be a myth that all tea bags contain low-quality tea. As long as you don't let the teabags grow stale, some of them can deliver a tasty cup. Most black teabags contain finely crushed tea processed with the "CTC" method (crush, tear, curl). Many tea aficionados prefer "orthodox" tea processing, which has whole leaves or large pieces. When sold in teabags, orthodox tea may also be labeled "full leaf," "pure leaf," or "long leaf". The type of water you use can have a major effect on taste. If you dislike the taste of your tap water, filter it before heating it for tea. If the tea still tastes funky, try bottled water. Water labeled "alkaline" may be a good choice, but with so many brands of water and types of tea you may need to experiment on your own. Distilled water tends to make your tea taste flat and dull. Plastic kettles may leech undesirable flavors into your tea. Most quality teas should recommend an ideal water temperature, but you can use these simple rules in most cases (assuming you are near sea level): Black teas are almost always brewed at near-boiling temperatures. Bring to a boil, then let stand for thirty seconds or so before pouring. Most green teas brew best at 160170F (7076C), or when a column of steam starts rising from the water. Many Japanese green teas and some early spring Chinese green teas are extra delicate and should not be brewed above 160F (70C). Anything hotter can make these teas very bitter. Tea leaves develop more complex flavors when they can expand in the water, sometimes as much as five times their original size. If you're using loose leaf tea, don't confine it to a "tea ball" or another small container. Go for stainless steel, cup-shaped brew basket or brew in a teapot with a filtered spout to block the leaves. As a rule of thumb, put in 1 tsp (5 mL) tea leaves (or one teabag) for every 6 oz (175 mL) water. Feel free to add more if you're looking for a stronger taste. (Alternatively, try the Eastern style brewing method described below, which uses a higher concentration of leaves.) If you dislike the flavor of your tea, you may need to give it more time to steep or you may need to take the leaves out early before they release bitter tannins. Tasting your tea every 30 seconds or so is an easy way to figure out what you prefer. You'll usually end up with good flavors if you follow the guide on the tea label, or use these rules of thumb: 35 minutes for black tea or oolong 3 minutes for Chinese green tea About 2 minutes for Japanese green tea 13 minutes for white tea Note water at a higher temperature extracts flavors much faster. You may need to rely on taste tests if you're eyeballing the temperature. Most loose leaf teas can stand up to a second or third steep in the same sitting. Pay attention to the flavors, which change subtly on each brew. Teabags lose flavor much faster; just squeeze them into the tea to get the flavors out before drinking your first cup. If you're trying to maximize the flavor of the tea itself, listen to the tea snobs: try to enjoy the tea plain, or add at most a splash of dairy and a small spoonful of sweetener to black tea. That said, if you're just trying to enjoy yourself, add as much as you like. Chai tea has a particularly intense flavor, and you can make it yourself by adding cloves, cardamom, and other spices. You can also buy tea that comes pre-flavored. The highest quality teas are rarely sold this way, but that doesn't mean you can't find something you enjoy.
Summary: Start with whole, loose leaf tea (recommended). Choose your water. Heat water in a glass or stainless steel kettle. Brew in a basket or other large container. Taste your tea as it steeps. Steep repeatedly or squeeze the teabag. Add flavoring if necessary.