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Get support from your social circle. Develop a journaling habit to release your frustration. Perform self-care regularly. See a counselor.
Your relationship with your mom may not feel very nurturing, so it's important to get social support from others. This may come from your dad, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, or other mentors in your community. If you need to talk, reach out to these people to vent about your mom or get practical advice for dealing with her passive-aggressive behavior. Become more aware of your own anger that stems from your mother's behavior. Start a daily journal practice of writing down what you're feeling. Periodically re-read your entries to look for recurring patterns and brainstorm solutions. For instance, brainstorming solutions might include noticing that you and your mom usually bump heads whenever you're feeling tired. To fix the problem, keep those interactions short and sweet. Excuse yourself and go to your room rather than trying to reason with her when you're already exhausted. Put your journal in a safe place where your mother can't find it and read it. Some good places might be under your mattress, behind other books in a bookcase, or in your closet. Take good care of yourself by doing activities that promote wellness, like eating well and exercising. Also, try mindfulness meditation to learn how to sit with your anger or frustration and keep stress at bay with yoga or deep breathing. You might also do special activities just for you, such as coloring, listening to your favorite music, or cuddling with a special someone. Work through your thoughts and feelings with a professional. A counselor can help you heal from emotional neglect and even teach useful skills like assertiveness training, so you can better interact with your mother. If you think she's up for it, you might invite your mom to a counseling session at some point, too.