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After surgical drainage or a marsupialization procedure, it is key to continue with regular Sitz baths during the healing phase. Again, this is to ensure that the area remains clean, and to maximize healing while minimizing the risk of infection. Sitz baths are advised beginning one to two days following the surgical procedure. You may have a catheter for four to six weeks to keep your Bartholin cyst open and to prevent further fluid accumulation, following surgical drainage. For as long as the catheter remains in, it is key to refrain from sexual intercourse. Abstaining from sex for that time period will also help to prevent your cyst from becoming infected. After marsupialization, even though there is no catheter, you will be advised to refrain from sex for four weeks following the procedure to ensure full healing. You may use over-the-counter pain medications, such as Ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin) or Acetaminophen (Tylenol) as needed. Alternatively, if your pain is more severe, you may ask your doctor for prescription strength pain medications (narcotics) such as Morphine in the initial stages of recovery.

summary: Continue with regular Sitz baths. Refrain from sexual intercourse until your catheter is removed. Continue with pain medications as needed.

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Before you decide to completely eliminate a person from your life, take a break for a trial period to see if this is really what you want to do. Tell the person that you think it would be good to take some time a part to meet new people and explore some different interests. If this is a friend, let the person know that you care about them and you still want to be friends. You may say, "I really value our friendship and the time we spend together. I think it would be really great for both of us to spend some time a part and meet new people." Be kind and respectful when you have this conversation and do not place any blame on the other person. Avoid using phrases such as, "You always," "You never, or "You can't." Emphasize that you think this is a good solution for both of you. If all else fails and you no longer want the person in your life, let the other person know. Tell the other person that you want to end the relationship and the reasons why you want to end the relationship. Be as direct as possible. This will be a difficult conversation. You may say, "I have thought a lot about our friendship and some things have been bothering me. I want to talk to you about this." You may also say, "I have to do what is best for me. I don't think we should spend time together anymore. I wish you the best in everything that you do." Before you have this conversation, be absolutely sure that this is what you want to do. You will most likely feel extremely guilty for cutting someone out of your life. Your feelings of guilt are completely normal, and it will take time for you to feel better. Take confidence in the fact that you made a well thought out decision, tried to fix the relationship with the person, and did what was best for you. Accept that people come and go from your life and nobody is perfect. Try to learn from this experience and apply it to your interactions with other people. It may take the person a while to come to terms with the end of the relationship. The person may still try to contact you or be around you. The person may ask to have another conversation or try to convince you to change your mind. Stick with your decision and do not give in to the other person's persistence. If you respond to the person, you will be sending a mixed message. Responding to the person will only encourage them to contact you. If the person calls you or texts you, you do not have to answer. You can even block the person's number so you will not know when they have reached out to you. Remember that you have handled the situation the best that you could and have made the best decision for yourself. You may need to remind that person that you no longer want to spend time around them or see them. Always be assertive and firm.

summary: Take a break. Have an honest conversation. Deal with your guilt. Stand by your decision.

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Starting a conversation with someone you do not know can be difficult. You will feel less awkward if you are well prepared. Prepare some conversation starters before you go somewhere so you will have something to talk about. If you are going to a party, you may say, "The food is really good. Have you tried the ____?" or "How do you know ____?" You can give a compliment. "Hey, I love your shirt. Where did you get it?" If you are going to a place where you have something in common with the people there, talk about what you have in common and then ask a question. You may say, "I love video games too, what is your favorite one?" Write down what you would like to say and rehearse in front of the mirror or out loud. This will help the conversation feel more natural when you actually go through with it. Even though you practice, things may not go exactly how you planned, but that's okay. After you have practiced and tried to do it in real life, you can make adjustments based on your experience. Your practice should be specific to the challenge that you are taking on. If you are going to school, your practice conversations may focus on studying, note taking, or an upcoming project or test. If you are going to a party, your practice conversation may focus on music, providing compliments, and food at the party. Because you are shy, you are probably thinking about yourself when you interact with others. You may worry about how the other person perceives you or what you will say next. Instead of thinking about yourself and your feelings, focus on what the other person is saying or what is going on around you. Being a good listener can help you focus on the other person. Make eye contact, nod your head every once in a while, and smile at the person. You can also make comments like "yes," "uh huh," or "mmhmmm" during the conversation. Watch their behaviors, tones, body language, facial expressions, and how they relate to others. Use empathy to try to experience what they are talking about. Doing this will also help you be more present in a conversation and more able to respond appropriately. It can be easy to sit back and observe a conversation instead of actually participating in the conversation. This is even more difficult if the group of people all know each other, and you are an outsider. If this is the case, try to stay engaged in the conversation and make small statements such as: "Yeah, I know right." "That's crazy." "I heard that too." Laugh when other people laugh instead of being silent. These small statements can also prepare you to start saying more when you feel more comfortable. Open-ended questions are questions that require more than a "yes" or "no" answer. These types of questions keep the conversation going and allow you to learn about the other person. Most people like talking about themselves so this takes the burden off of you. For example, instead of saying, "Do you have a pet?" you say, "What type of animals do you like?" Instead of saying, "Do you have plans this weekend?" you say, "What are you looking forward to this weekend?" When you are entering a group situation where you would like to speak more, try to get in the conversation within the first 10 minutes. If you jump in the conversation early, you are less likely to clam up or chicken out. You do not have to make a big contribution to the conversation either. Simply agreeing with someone or asking a question will do.
summary: Practice some conversation starters. Practice what you will say. Focus on the other person. Make small contributions during group conversations. Ask open ended questions. Speak early in the conversation.