* sigh * It does n't help that she passed a week before my birthday . I do n't feel right being happy on that day , and I do n't feel right being so sad on that day when my family tries to make it a nice day . * sigh * In happier news I received a Birthday card today . It was lovely , with flowers like a garden across it .

Answer the following question: What is the reason for so much ambivalence surrounding my birthday ?
Because mourning a death and celebrating a birthday at the same time is awkward .