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Parenting is a very personal thing so avoid disciplining someone else's child without the permission of his parents. Your actions may seem inappropriate if you don't have similar parenting techniques. For example, some parents may not yell or scold their children publicly. Discipline is not your job and neither is seeing if the child's parents discipline their child. Children may work out their bad behaviour amongst themselves so there may not even be a need to interfere. Try to stay out of day-to-day stuff so that children learn to play with others. For less severe behaviour you can distract a child without disciplining them. Offer them to get a drink or play at a new area. Use "we" instead of "you" to create a more communal or team oriented approach. You don't want a child to feel like he is being picked on for being a problem. For example, say something like "We don't say that, that's not nice." If another child has become uncontrollable and violent, immediately take your child away. Whether you make an excuse to leave or inform the child's parents that it's time for a break, your child's safety is your number 1 concern. If it is happening at your home, simply separate the children into different rooms and call their parents. Do not allow another child's bad behaviour to influence your child. Talk to your child about how every family has their own rules, and it is important to follow your own family's rules wherever they go. Let your child know what is expected of her beforehand and check in afterwards for affirmation or discipline if she hasn't followed your rules. Be careful not to offend as you may come across as judgmental and they may accuse you of your own parenting shortcomings. Ease into the conversation with a compliment and come to a satisfactory solution together. For example, say something like "Simon is a great boy and our son loves when he can stay and play but sometimes Simon is a bit too rough." Make sure only to let the parents know as the kids or other parents may make them become defensive if present. Try not to use a different tone or dumb down your vocabulary when talking to children. You just want to have a conversation so don't build it up to something more especially if you're already anxious around kids. Make a connection by listening to what these children talk about and asking questions. This is easy as kids often will start a conversation without being prompted if comfortable. If you are dealing with shy children, engage them by talking about toys that they enjoy. If you are finding it difficult, think of yourself as a sportscaster and simply narrate the action that you see. "Oh, you're playing with blocks. Looks like a castle. Is it a castle?" Let the child feel that you are interested and she will become engaged in a conversation. Get down to eye level and make eye contact. Sit on a chair, get down on one knee, or just lower yourself down to make yourself less intimidating to a child. Also, don't talk too fast or loud. Do not touch any child. Avoid touching other children, even in an innocent or non-threatening way because it could be misinterpreted by the child or someone watching you. Ask questions about games, toys, movies, etc. Don't ask private questions that may make them uncomfortable like "Do you have a girlfriend?" Try asking questions that have to do with the child's future, such as their goals and dreams, or ask about their hobbies and interests. You want to ask questions that make them happy and want to interact with you in a positive way. Kids tend not to have a filter so if they ask something that you feel is inappropriate for you to answer, defer them back to their parents. You may also ask them to answer it. "What do you think?" For example, "That's an awesome question! I bet your mom and dad know the answer better than me." Make sure to let the child know that you will write down their question and give it to their parents so that they can answer it for them. If you are in a place of business like a restaurant or office you can talk to a manager if a child's behaviour is bothering you. You can asked to be moved or for them to speak to the parents. However, make sure the situation warrants you speaking up. If you can simply tune the child out, do it. If you're in a restaurant and a child's parents are allowing their child to be obnoxious and over the top, chances are other customers will also speak up. Be careful not to bother staff or parents with petty requests. Kids are allowed to have fun and laugh. They may be oblivious to social etiquette but they have rights to be themselves. Kids will especially be rambunctious if they are in a new place and have been bored the entire day. Also, remember parents have a right to take out their kids and relieve some stress of being at home. Empathise with parents and the stress that comes with having to entertain children. If you approach a parent in a confrontational way you may be adding to her stress. A better approach is to be helpful and to keep calm.
Wait for the child's parents to speak up. Don't single anyone out. Remove your own child from the situation. Speak to your child. Talk to the parents of the problem child. Treat kids like people. Find out their interests. Get down to the kid's level. Ask the right questions. Refer kids back to their parents. Talk to an adult. See things from the perspective of the child or his parents.