TASK DEFINITION: You are given a review about a place. You need to provide a rating from "1 star" to "5 stars" for this place.
PROBLEM: A unique experience and certainly worth seeking out for a special occasion.

It does take a few minutes to get used to the atmosphere, but by the first course you stop trying to see things and just concentrate on the food, the chatter around you, and your companions. The tables around us seemed to be filled with loud, celebratory groups, but O.Noir is also a good choice for a romantic occasion, assuming your date is into it.

You would think they'd let the food slide, but no: It's first-rate and not gimmicky at all. We ordered from the menu before entering the dining room (there are "surprise" options for the more adventurous among us), and it was still a challenge to identify what was on our plates at any given time. This turned out to be tremendously entertaining, both because we really paid attention to each mouthful, and because sometimes we had to resort to eating with our hands.

(Don't worry, you won't be covered in food by the time you emerge. I was absolutely convinced we would embarrass ourselves, but we left looking none the worse for wear.)

The only issue was getting the attention of our server. He was absolutely wonderful: charming and soft-spoken. But there was a long period after dessert when we simply could not locate him. First, we called his name, then we chanted it, then we resorted to making up songs with his name in it. Nothing. After a while (How long? no idea.), he innocently turned up, asking how everything was.

This was not a big deal, but it made us realize that things can get strange at O.Noir. There is absolutely no way you can leave your table without the help of the waitstaff; don't even try it. So raise your voice if you need to. You won't be the only one.

SOLUTION: 4 stars

PROBLEM: Our foody friends really like this place so two weeks ago we decided to make a visit before seeing book of moron. Early Saturday evening and we pull up to an empty bar, grab two seats and wait and wait until the bartender gal comes over. Get menus and again wait to put in drink orders. Asked her a couple questions about the portion sizes and got a useless response. So anyways we order a couple of Tapas, and like 20 minutes later- our filet ordered Medium rare shows up sliced and medium well ! Really like we weren't going to notice ? Sent that back, waiting another 15 minutes for its replacement which was very tasty. Our other Tapa was an eggplant dish the size of toothpicks, again tasty but crazy $$ considering that a whole eggplant is like $2- So long story short we ran out of time to experiment with any other dishes and had to run to the show on basically an empty stomach after dropping $70- What a joke..

SOLUTION: 2 stars

PROBLEM: I've been to allot of spa's, this one is really a perfect haven. I booked on a whim (an hour before) and they were very quick to accommodate. I had the balance & harmony 50 minute. I recommend this if you like Swedish style, which I love. It's a combination of that with hot stones. I also suggest that you spend at least an hour alternating between the jacuzzi (pool size with shower head type waterfall) and the steam room.) You can also just sit on a lounge chair and stare at the peaceful soothing walls and water. I still feel peaceful because of it!

Prices are moderate to pricey depending on where you live. L.A. prices can really get up there so I think this is moderate because you have access to the facilities up until 8pm on the day you have a treatment.

SOLUTION:
5 stars