Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: How Tasty Was My Little Frenchman tells a story that is alternately sad, scary and life-affirming. It ends with a brutal finale that you knew had to happen, even though you were hoping--maybe even beleiving--it wouldn't.

Utlimately, this is the film's greatest strength: it expertly plays with your emotions and expectations, then drops a bomb on you.

I saw this in a film theory class at USC back in the mid-'90s. It is not easy to find, but is definitely worth hunting for.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: Well no, I tell a lie, this is in fact not the best movie of all time, but it is a really enjoyable movie that nobody I know has seen.

It's a buddy cop movie starring Jay Leno and Pat Morita(Mr Miyagi) with some fluff story about a missing car engine prototype or something, but that doesn't matter. the reason this movie is fun is because of the interaction between the two leads, who initially dislike and distrust each other but in a shocking twist of fate end up becoming friends. The whole culture difference thing is done quite well,in that it's fun to watch, it's completely ridiculous but in a cheesy and enjoyable kind of way. The soundtrack is cool,once again in a cheesy 80's kind of way, it suits the movie, I've been trying to find one of the songs for ages, but as I'm working from memory of what I think a few of the words were i can't seem to find it.

Another thing this movie has is the most fantastic pay off of any movie ever, but I won't give that one away, oh no! In conclusion I'd take this movie over 48 Hours\most of Eddie Murphys output including Beverly Hills cop, and whatever buddy junk Jackie Chan or Martin Lawrence have to their names. If you're looking for a buddy cop movie and are getting fed up with "straight white cop meets zany streetwise black cop" give this a shot. You might be pleasantly surprised cos this turns the whole formula upside down with "straight Japanese cop meets zany streetwise white cop".

I'm giving this 7. to be honest I like it more than that. I'd rather watch this than a lot of stuff I'd give 8. But I guess I know deep down that it's some sort of insanity that makes me like this movie.

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: Jochen Hick wrote and directed this little thriller of a suspense film based on the concept that the AIDS virus was a sheep virus mutated by the government to rid the world of gays and was apparently tested on convicts in the years before the outbreak of the hideous disease. Were it not for the poignancy of the concept of the film, this would fall into the category of the many films about the ruination of the world by a rampant non-prejudicial infective organism.

Stefan (Tom Wlaschiha) journeys from Berlin to San Francisco to investigate his father's scientific suppositions about the induced sheep virus and its effects of the convicts in whom it was infused. He meets with some disdain and resistance to a dead theory, but also encounters some folks who know of the theory and support his investigation. Simultaneously with his visit a series of serial murders takes place, each victim killed in a similar manner and each murder apparently accompanied by strains of music from Puccini's opera 'Turandot' which just happens to be opening at the San Francisco Opera. A police investigator Louise Tolliver (Irit Levi) and her companion cop (Kalene Parker) follow the murders while Stefan makes the rounds of the sex clubs and bars in San Francisco trying to locate men who may have been guinea pigs for his father's theory. He encounters a strange lad Jeffrey (Jim Thalman) with whom he has a cat and mouse attraction and a prominent Doctor Burroughs (Richard Conti) who seems oddly involved in the cast of suspects. How this all come to an end is the play of the film, a story as much about the search for self identity between Stefan and Jeffery as it is a case for investigation of murders.

While Tom Wlaschiha, Jim Thalman and Richard Conti do well with their roles (they are the only three who have any prior acting experience in the film!), the quality of the film sags considerably by the less than acceptable minimally talented Irit Levy and Kaylene Parker: when on screen the credibility of the story drops below zero. There are some small cameos by other actors that brighten the screen for the moments they inhabit, but in all the film is drowned by the incessant replay of 'Nessun dorma' as sung by Mario del Monaco from a recording o the opera - and that seems to be the reason for making the film! Good idea for a film and some good characterizations by the actors, but there is no resolution of the initial premise that started the whole thing. Grady Harp, February 06

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer:
An inventive, suspenseful exercise in claustrophobia. A Japanese thriller that sets itself a tough challenge by being entirely set in two rooms. Not completely successful, but taut, surprising and well-acted. One might find the film somewhat reminiscent of SAW two men trapped in room and pitting against each other but unlike that film it dares to stay with its premise and keep the hero locked in his cell throughout the film. It's like watching a lab experiment. Some might find the contained suspense tedious, but this reviewer found it enthralling. The sound and imagery of the film are stunningly well realized. This is a certainly a good film to use to show off a good home video system. Just right for a late night movie fest, when one is in the paranoid mood. It certainly kept me awake that night.