Summarize:

If you are having difficulty forgiving someone and it is impacting your life in a negative way, perhaps it is time to seek professional help from a counselor or therapist. Therapies intended to promote forgiveness have been successful in helping people overcome past hurts and achieve peace and resolution. Obtain a referral or suggestion from your physician, health insurance company, or a trusted family member or friend. However, if that is not feasible, contact your local department of mental health about counseling options. If you feel you and your therapist are not a good fit, look for a different therapist. Every therapist is different and finding one with whom you feel comfortable is essential. Try a therapist who practices cognitive behavioral therapy. Your therapist will help examine and dispel the negative thought patterns that you have developed. Consider spiritual counseling. Many people find comfort in seeking help from spiritual leaders who can guide them toward forgiveness. The power of prayer has been successful toward healing and alleviating feelings of guilt and shame, which are motivators for people seeking forgiveness for various reason. Commit to changing your behavior. In both psychotherapy and physical therapy, you will benefit from setting goals. Engage in the process by allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable. Don't abandon the process just because it gets difficult. Your hard work will pay off and leave you with a healthy sense of accomplishment. Identify your objectives. For example, would you like to feel more at peace toward a family member who betrayed you? Tell the therapist that this is one of your goals. Reward yourself when you reach your goal. Your motivation will increase if you reward your accomplishments. Adjust your objectives rather than give up. Continue to make new goals as it will keep you engaged in life. Surround yourself with people who care about you. This includes family, friends, and co-workers. Branch out and meet new people to expand your circle of support. You have learned so much through the therapeutic process that you feel resourceful and confident. A good support system will help you reduce stress and may even boost your immune system. Exploring your interests may lead to joining groups that allow you to meet new people, and experience new situations. Personal struggles can leave you feeling bad about yourself. You may feel guilty for not taking care of yourself in a situation or you unfairly blame yourself for what happened. You can learn to manage feelings of guilt and shame rather than try to eliminate them. If you have chosen to participate in cognitive behavior therapy, it will help you examine your thoughts and develop new more effective ways of thinking about yourself.
Find a therapist if you're struggling to cope. Set therapeutic goals for yourself. Enhance your support system. Forgive and accept yourself.