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Although it might seem tempting to stay up all night to prepare for your speech, it probably won't help you. A lack of sleep increases your stress levels and decreases your ability to focus. Be sure that you get at least eight hours of sleep the night before your speech. It is important to remember to take care of your body even when you are cramming for a presentation. Take some time to take a quick walk. Don't forget to eat meals and keep yourself hydrated. These steps are equally important in memorizing your speech. Make a list of things that scare you about the speech. Then, try to tackle those fears. If eye contact makes you lose focus, try looking just above your audience's head. Try giving your speech behind a podium or while holding a microphone to keep your hands busy. Use deep breathing exercises to keep yourself calm before your speech.

summary: Get enough sleep. Take a break. Learn how to keep calm.

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Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes or go silent so you can try to get your anger under control. Depending on how intense the argument is and how good you are at tempering your emotions in the moment, you may feel comfortable with resuming the discussion with the other person once you take a moment to try to calm down. Another approach may be to physically step away from the argument. Let the other person know you need a timeout or time away from the argument. Once you inform them you need to take a break, go into another room, excuse yourself from the table, or head out for a long walk or run. An argument is a time of heightened emotions, so physically distancing yourself from the situation can help to put your emotions into perspective. But it's essential you let the other person know you need a time away to sort out your thoughts and emotions, and never simply storm off or walk out of the room with no explanation or promise to return to resolve the argument. If your anger can be charted on a scale, try to pause and calm down when your anger level is at a three or four, rather than a high 10. By the time you reach level four or higher on the anger scale, you may be so filled with rage or self indignation towards the other person you may end up saying more damaging and hurtful things to the other person. This will then likely make it more difficult to work on a mindful resolution of the argument later. If an argument does reach a high 10 on the anger scale, and things are said that you or the other person will likely regret saying later, it's important to think about how this conflict will affect your relationship with this person. For partners who don't fight often, forgiveness may be the best way to resolve the argument, especially if it has escalated to a very angry or hurtful level. Keep in mind that the idea of "fighting fair" is mostly an oxymoron in a relationship, like "jumbo shrimp" or "military intelligence". A fight usually begins on uneven or unfair ground for both parties, so even if it does escalate to very angry levels, it's important to work towards forgiveness rather than holding a grudge or being passive aggressive about your anger. While this may sound like a tall order, especially if you're experiencing intense anger or anxiety due to the argument, it's important to return to your partner with a clear sense of what triggered the argument and how you are going to try to resolve the argument. You can write down your feelings in a journal or diary. You can also try to listen to music to calm down and focus on processing your emotions. Another option might be talking aloud to yourself in an empty room or space. If you are having a hard time processing your emotions on your own, you may want to reach out to someone you trust and discuss your feelings with them before you return back to your partner. For example, a good friend, another family member, or professional help like a counselor, a therapist, or a spiritual guide. Often, when we are caught up in an argument, we focus on how we are feeling, as opposed to how the other person is feeling. The "need to be right" defense usually occurs because we are in fact afraid of being wrong or feel threatened by the other person's point of view. Think about how the other person may be feeling as a result of the argument. Consider if anything you said or did towards them could have acted as a trigger for their anger. Place yourself on the receiving end of your anger and think about how angry or upset you would be if you were in their position.

summary: Try to calm down. Work on ending the argument earlier, rather than later. Process your emotions. Talk to someone about your emotions. Consider the argument from the other person's point of view.

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If you have a hard time forgetting about the humiliating experience, use techniques like attention shifting, relaxation, and repeated exposure to help you move past the memory. Attention shifting is where you use a particular phrase or action to help you deal with the memory, such as thinking "this is just one experience in my entire life" whenever it comes up. Attention shifting has been shown to help reduce anxiety in situations, because it allows you to freely choose what you pay attention to, rather than being compelled to focus on negative thoughts and feelings. Whenever the humiliating memory pops up, say to yourself, "everyone feels humiliated at some point in their life. I know I can recover from this experience." Progressive muscle relaxation is where you tense and then relax your muscles one area at a time. Start with your toes, curling them downward. Do this for a couple seconds and release. Next, tense your foot and lower leg. Keep doing this, moving up your body all the way to your forehead. You can try other methods as well, such as guided imagery. Picture one of your favorite places to be when the humiliating experience starts to bother you. This could be your living room with candles lit, a football field, or a sunny beach. Keeping yourself relaxed will reduce the likelihood that you dwell on the humiliating experience. It will also help you process and cope with the humiliating experience when it does come up in your memory. Usually, this memory will show up with a lot of anxiety. Relaxation techniques will help you reduce this anxiety and extinguish the memory. Repeated exposure is a technique for exposing yourself to situations so that you gradually begin to realize they aren't that dangerous. You can do this with the humiliating experience, for example, if it happened on a stage at your school, or in a specific room of your house. Spend time in these places and let the panic or discomfort subside. This kind of exposure therapy requires that you spend enough time in the stressful environment for your mind to adapt to the fact that there's no danger present. If you walk into the room where you were humiliated, start to feel upset, and quickly leave, then the exposure likely won't have an effect. Try to enter the room or face the situation and let yourself slowly relax into your body. Deep, even breathing can help you calm down and accept where you are.
summary: Research self-help techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy. Use attention shifting to rewire your emotional reactions. Experiment with relaxation techniques to help yourself let go. Try the technique of repeated exposure.