Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: I had never heard of this one before the owner of my local DVD rental outlet mentioned it to me; being a 1980s horror flick with the notorious distinction of having been banned in the U.K., I decided to check it out. The film turned out be a dull, amateurish and ugly-looking ride; the sound recording is so poor that dialogue is unintelligible half of the time, whereas the acting gives new meaning to the word inept!

What's worse, the film follows the awfully tired formula of a trio of teenage girls being involved in an accident and finding themselves sheltered by a dysfunctional family living in remote surroundings. Soon, one of the girls goes to look for help and is never heard from again; another, still bed-ridden, is quickly disposed of (after being forgotten for most of the duration). The heroine is the one to interact the most with the three inhabitants of the house: a harridan of a bible-thumping mother (cue horrendous overacting), her repressed (and long-suffering) daughter, and the latter's weirdo brother who occasionally appears on the scene to drool over the sleeping female guests.

Often resorting to dinner-table reminiscences by the man-hating mother (as a means of filling in the dreary, to say nothing of unoriginal, backstory) and which invariably develop into mother-daughter sparring contests, the film does have one ace up its sleeve the twist ending is as unexpected as it is ingenious, but it does little to remove the bad taste left in the mouth by the film (as much through the lameness of it all as the intermittent gore) or the inescapable feeling of having wasted 80 minutes of my time...

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: Since their nasty divorce from the Disney Company (with Disney keeping the Miramax brand) the Weinstein Company seems to specialize in above average movies which are then under-promoted and seen by few. THE FLOCK is a prime example.

A story about the civil servants who have the nasty job of keeping track of registered sex offenders, this picture will tell you more about sex criminals than an entire season of Law and Order - SVU.

Richard Gere gives his best-ever performance as the soft-spoken agent worn-out by the task. Claire Danes for once has the opportunity to get into a solid role (instead of the junk she normally gets stuck in) and she makes the most of playing the novice. The cinematography, pacing, editing, all of it is first rate --- and I saw no trace of the attention-deficit-disorder camera jump-around or excess camera cuts that others complained about. The subject is handled with restraint, but it's still a tough subject and might make you sick.

Fifty years ago there was almost no problem with the kinds of sex crimes herein shown in abundance which will shock even the jaded. Then came the Supreme Court decisions which simultaneously tied police hands as the "rights" of sex perverts were opened up and America was turned into a shopper's paradise for sexual perversity, both willing and unwilling. Each such step was met with praise by Liberals, who celebrated the Warren Court's ill deeds with glossy covers on Time and Newsweek. Everyday liberals also praised the Court's action and mocked those who disagree. In 2007 how many Americans know that the kind of pornography that depicts savage violence and torture of young women -- can be subscribed to, and delivery of it is subsidized by the discount periodicals rate by the US Post Office. Just one part of the problem -- a problem that can tare anyone's family to shreds.

Richard Gere is a Liberal, but he gives his best in his performance here. Perhaps in his maturing age he's gained a measure of wisdom.

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: This movie is hilarious, not in good way. The fights are awfully bad done, while sometimes they will try to shock you by breaking some bones, and even this happens only two or three times, definitely not enough to call it a shockmovie. A gunfight means a hero can walk into an open field with 10 people shooting at him with uzi's, pick up a gun, start shooting back and not get hurt.

The story empty, guy waking up, lost his memory, starts fighting cos that's what he's good at. Five years later memories come back, takes revenge blablabla.

Not worth your buck, not really worth your time unless you're drunk and bored.

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer:
This UK psychological thriller is known in the United States as CLOSURE. Exploitation of X-Files' Gillian Anderson, who plays an attractive middle aged businesswoman of substance named Alice. She must attend a business party and invites Adam(Danny Dyer), who just installed a security system for her, to be her escort. On the way home, speeding through the woods on a narrow lane, Alice's auto collides with a deer. After pulling the wounded animal off the road, the couple is savagely attacked by a drunken gang of thugs. Adam is beat to a pulp; Alice is gang raped and both are emotionally and physically devastated by the ruthless attack. When the identities of their attackers are discovered, Alice and Adam set out to exact revenge...brutal revenge. The couple at times find themselves at odds on how to deal with the ruthless attackers. Their final decision is to avenge with no mercy. Let there be no mistake, payback IS hell. Also in the cast: Anthony Calf, Ralph Brown, Francesca Fowler and Antony Byrne. Brutal violence, disturbing images, nudity and graphic rape.