that are 100% pure and organic. Research the brands you see in stores and online and read reviews. Look for an oil with 100% purity. Don't use an oil that is mixed or altered with something else. Choose an organic product to minimize the possibility of contamination in your oil. Don't confuse essential oils with fragrance oils. Essential oils are extracted directly from plant materials. Fragrance oils are produced synthetically and can smell like anything, they are not produced from plants and do not have aromatherapy benefits. Essential oils are not really oils. They are highly concentrated aromatic compounds extracted from plants. This makes them unique from fragrance oils, which are created specifically to smell good. Essential oils should come in dark tinted bottles as exposure to light can degrade their chemical structures. Look for the Latin names of the plants on the bottles as this will let you know exactly what you are getting. Check the scent of the oil. If it doesn't smell good or it differs from what you expected, it may not be a high-quality preparation. If you're dealing with stress then lavender, chamomile, sandalwood or rose oils can be calming options. Try combining different oils to create your own personalized scent profile. Read up on any scent you choose so that you are informed of possible risks. Cinnamon bark, for example, has been shown to cause allergic reactions in people who have seasonal allergies. There are some essential oils that people associate with a calmer and more focused mind. These are great for when you are working under a deadline or are simply struggling to get your mind in order. Rosemary oil is a nice option for these situations. Cedarwood, lemon oil, grapefruit, wild orange, and lavender are also good options. Try them out to see which ones you prefer or use a blend that you enjoy. Peppermint is a naturally refreshing scent that can help increase alertness and gets your mind moving. Other stimulating oils to try include eucalyptus, basil, bergamot, or good old rosemary. Bergamot is one of the most effective oils for combatting fatigue. Essential oil devotees believe it can help re-balance your Circadian rhythms and boost your mood as well. Some essential oils may have therapeutic value but may not smell all that great. Tea tree oil, for example, has antimicrobial properties that could help cleanse your air, but it has a very woodsy smell that you may not want in your home. Other oils, like peppermint, for example, will smell nice in addition to their aromatherapy effects. Try adding a few drops of an oil that smells good, like lavender, to your preparation to improve the overall effect. Rose essential oil is associated with reducing stress and anxiety. Patchouli essential oil is another fragrance many people find pleasant. Like tea tree oil, it too can have antimicrobial and antifungal effects. Aromatherapy is a growing field. Some providers who work in biomedicine or alternative healthcare pursue additional training in aromatherapy and choose to integrate essential oils into their practices. To find someone who works as an aromatherapist, you can visit professional registries online, like the Aromatherapy Registration Council (http://aromatherapycouncil.org/).

Summary: Select oils Choose scents like lavender to help you relax. Go with scents like rosemary to improve focus and concentration. Try a stimulating scent like peppermint to reduce fatigue. Select oils that smell good to you. Visit an aromatherapist for a professionally tailored experience.

Guilt is a useful emotion when it is helping us grow and learn from our behavior that has been offensive or hurtful to ourselves or others. When guilt arises from hurting another or having a negative impact that could have been prevented, we are being signaled to change that behavior (or else risk the consequences). This guilt, "proportionate" guilt can be a guide for redirecting behavior and adjusting our sense of what's acceptable and what isn't. For example, if your guilt is from spreading rumors about a co-worker so that you will get a promotion in their place, you'll feel proportionate guilt. If you simply got this promotion for being more qualified and feel guilty anyway, then you are dealing with disproportionate guilt. Forgiving oneself, like forgiving another, can be a difficult process. Steps that are important in the process of self-forgiveness include: Acknowledgement of the actual hurt caused without exaggerating or minimizing what happened. Addressing the degree to which you were responsible for this harm there may have been something you could have done differently, but you may not be responsible for everything. Overestimating your responsibility can prolong guilt longer than necessary. Understanding your state of mind at the time of the harmful action(s) Dialogue with the other(s) who were negatively impacted by your actions. A heartfelt apology can go a long way. It is important that you and the other(s) know that you are aware of the damage done and are clear on what actions will be taken (if any) over and above apologizing. Staying guilty instead of making necessary repairs or amends is how we punish ourselves. Unfortunately, this behavior will only keep you feeling too ashamed to take the action that can really help. Making restorative changes means swallowing your pride and trusting that others will be grateful for your work resolving the source of guilt. If apologizing is how you'll make amends, try to avoid justifying what you did or pointing out the parts of the situation that you were not responsible for. Simply recognize the others' pain without the distraction of extra explanations or attempts to revisit the details of the situation. It may be much easier to apologize for an offhanded remark that caused some pain. But when the behavior has spanned some time, say you ignored your partner's distress about your relationship for years, it will take more honesty and humility. Writing journal entries about the details, feelings, and memories of the situation can help you learn about yourself and your actions. Working to improve your behavior in the future is a great way to relieve guilt. Your entries might answer questions like the following: How did you feel about yourself and everyone involved leading up to, during, and after the situation? What were your needs at that time, and were they being met? If not, why not? Did you have motives for this action? What or who was the catalyst for this behavior? What are the standards of judgment in this situation? Are they your own values, your parents', your friends', your spouse's, or coming from an institution like the law? Are these appropriate standards of judgment, and if so, how do you know? We know that it's impossible to change the past. So, after spending time learning from your actions and making amends and repairs wherever possible, it is important not to dwell for too long. Remind yourself that the sooner you are done feeling guilty, the sooner you can bring increased focus to other, more current parts of your life. Another benefit of using a journal to deal with guilt is being able to keep track of your feelings to show yourself how quickly guilt can diminish once we attend to it. Especially important is making note of how making amends and repairing the situation has changed them. This will help you take pride in your progress and in the legitimate ways that you have used guilt positively.
Summary: Recognize the kind of guilt you have and its purpose. Forgive yourself. Make amends or changes as soon as possible. Start a journal. Accept you did something wrong, but move on.