Problem: Write a negative (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive) movie review.

Answer: I shudder to think what people must have thought of environmentalists after viewing this piece of overbearing, preachy cinematic trash. Larded with enough Indian-wannabe nuttery and space brother buffoonery to stock a new-age shop, Starlight makes anyone who gives a damn about the planet look like a feather-wearing crystal-fondling idiot.

The plot? Alien Rae Dawn Chong arrives to guide a flute playing underwear model in a mystical quest to avert Earth's impending environmental collapse. But first they must defeat an evil alien who looks nothing so much like a refugee from a Castro street bar. Fortunately, they've got mystical grandpa Willie Nelson along to help (who looks faintly embarrassed by the proceedings, as well he ought to be) along with buckets of cheap F/X and reams of pointlessly swelling music.

Sure, the clunky script helps to obscure the film's trite plot and staggering pace, but that's just the tip of this melting movie iceberg. Everyone concerned with this film should have their union cards revoked until they complete a real course in environmental science.
Problem: OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive negative
=++++=
Answer: This movie sucked. The acting sucked, the script sucked, and the movie overall sucked. There were two threads in the movie that were not developed and the viewer had to do a bit of work to figure out what was happening.

I'm not saying that it needs to be spelled out, but you suddenly find things happening and being said as if you have the slightest clue as to what they are. Examples:

The heroine's negative comments about the hero. The audience is never shown how she even knows anything about the guy and how he is tied into her fiance's death. The viewer has minimal exposure to the guy's death as well.

Also, all of a sudden there is a scene with a bunch of guys loading up and cocking machine guns and that is all you see before cutting back to the other scenes. No explanation what-so-ever about the guns and the folks with them.

We gave it a 3 because we didn't feel like we wanted our time back. It was fun to bad-mouth the movie while watching it, so it at least gave us a bit of entertainment. ;-)
An example of a movie review. positive (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive).

A: Alright, this film is the representation of several things. For starters, this film is about a disgruntled student who brings a gun to school and shoots roughly 9 students. One student survives and is in the hospital with extensive head injuries. The lead character is what several people who consider a 'loner/goth', despite the movie's stating of her not being so. She seems quite mysterious, but was also the only unharmed student in the victimized classroom. She's questioned, due to having a history of knowing the shooter and having a record of being on the phone with him the night before. Anyhow, she's a very brief and distant person who seems to despise society. Yet, due to some, at first unexplained events, she spent roughly a year out of school, failing the grade. She has the desire to graduate, and the principle practically cons her into the only possible way she can pass is to spend time with the survivor, the girl in the hospital.

These two leads are nearly entirely opposite, and they are quite that on a social level. While Alisha is a quiet, inwardly disturbed, anti-social 'goth' girl who spends her time entirely alone (even though she seems to read quite often, somewhat of a closet/out of the closet bookworm), the other girl is a rich, popular 'bubbly' girl who seems always incredibly optimistic and trapped in her own fantasy world, ignoring the outside world and its realism to survive. I feel both of these roles to a marvelous job of representing MOST 'cliques' in the modern highschool, but more importantly shows how two entirely opposite girls who know nothing of each other eventually open to each other. While the injured girl learns a deep, meaningful truth on her once sheltered life and the outside world, Alisha learns that complete abandonment of society and locking everything inside is not always the best thing.

Many people will look to the connection between these two girls and see one of two things. Either, a snobby, hateful girl who wants he rest of the world to suffer as she does, taking it out on an innocent girl, OR the story of a seemingly trapped, fantasized girl who meets an outcast to society and learns not only not to judge, but that she is actually, perhaps, one of the most intelligent people she's known. In other words, people may see this film as a focus on Alisha teaching the other girl a lesson about life, but it isn't about that.

This film is about SEVERAL things. While it is about all I have stated, it is also representative of how people deal from a large, life-changing catastrophe. Truly, this movie is not very symbolic, but instead incredibly straight forward with its message, as long as you aren't afraid to open your mind, and your heart, to some emotions you may not be familiar with being portrayed so miraculously.

Overall, this film is one of the best I've ever seen. The acting is brilliant, the storyline and representation is deep and meaningful, and the emotion flowing through-out this film will have anyone not only relating, but possibly crying. This film is by far heart-wrenching, and very impactful, and if I ever believed any film could alter a person's life... this would be the first that could have changed mine.

I adored this movie, if you ever want a movie that's moving and impactful, while incredibly entertaining and REAL, watch this.
Problem: Write a negative (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive) movie review.

Answer:
Facts about National Lampoon Goes to the Movies, a.k.a. National Lampoon's Movie Madness:

1. The movie is poor, even by Lampoon's typical standards. 2. It's not funny. 3. No one goes to see a movie.

So, after I finished watching it, I began wondering why on earth it's called 'National Lampoon Goes to the Movies,' and why it was ever conceived, much less actually made. It would be like calling Austin Powers 'An American Guy Goes to the Movies.' How lame. He isn't American, and he doesn't go to movies. None of the characters in Lampoon's so-called 'satire' are funny, and none go see movies, which causes a bit of a problem. I had hoped it would be something in the vein of Mystery Science Theater 3000, but it isn't.

This was National Lampoon's first film after Animal House, although you couldn't tell it from the quality of film. Poorly developed, rough and amateurish by any standard, it induces headaches not a good sign for an 89-minute movie that seems double the length.

I've noticed a pattern. Really bad movies are typically renamed and this little disaster falls under that category. It has two separate titles -- probably to help try and promote it to people too stupid to remember how bad a panning it received from home video critics in 1982/83. 'Hmm, Movie Madness I've never heard of this movie before! Let's rent it!' And then, the realization: 'Hey, wait a minute, this is just National Lampoon Goes to the Movies!'

It was shelved by MGM/UA, never to be released into theaters or DVD; it occasionally pops up on television a few times per decade, which is just about the only place you'll manage to find it.

It's split up into three stories a parody of self-enlargement videos, butter and corporate ruthlessness, and police brutality/cop-buddy films (I guess). The first segment stars Peter Riegert (Animal House) as a frustrated guy who divorces his wife and does some other stuff. I'm not sure what because it was so boring my mind started to drift. Until the sex scene popped up.

Part II is about an exotic dancer raped by a stick of butter (don't ask) who decides to become Queen of the Margarine so she can cut off the supply of dairy products. Ouch! This contains the only funny line in the movie: 'Only I can make love with my son!' If you think that doesn't sound very funny, you're right it's not. And just imagine it's the highlight of this film!

Part III is about a cop who chases down a serial killer (Christopher Lloyd) only to lose his nerve and shoot the guy. It does contain one funny scene but it's extremely over-acted only Lloyd really exhibits any humor, playing his character dry and compassionate, yet strangely surreal. The part where he's choking his victim and the meek cop stands by watching it all unfold, at least, evoked a chuckle or two.

It's a shame to watch such a cast of semi-famous names resort to low standards. The writers of each segment clearly believe that they're being very ironic and clever by spoofing so-called stereotypes the fault being that the movie becomes one huge contradiction, favoring the standard T & A instead of plot; crude humor instead of witty dialogue; desperate performances instead of inspired ones. It's easy to see that none of the actors were enthralled with the material, muttering their lines, often so embarrassed they can seldom make eye contact with the camera.

The movie isn't funny, as I said before. I laughed once, at only one line, and even then it was a halfhearted one. Two chuckles, a smile, and a very weak laugh. Compared to Movie Madness, a number of other decent comedies seem like regular laugh tracks.

I like National Lampoon's Vacation series (or, at least three of four installments), and their classic Animal House, but their recent slew of direct-to-video bombs such as Golf Punks (with that great comic genius Tom Arnold) provide a good example of why their magazine went out of print more than a decade ago. It gets really old, really fast.

Sad to see a new film, called Gold Diggers, is being released with their 'stamp of approval.' It's like condemning a film before it even hits theaters maybe they should start not advertising their name all over the place

Distributor: 'This movie is bad. It gets the National Lampoon stamp of approval. That'll teach you not to make something so awful next time.'

Forget the death penalty. Just stick a bunch of criminals in a room and make them watch this over and over every day for a month.

It's so bad that I can't even begin to explain its putrid vileness. I give up.