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Discover your priorities. List your obligations and duties. Think about your relationships. Become aware of your vices. Imagine the best version of yourself.
Spend time thinking about your priorities, separate from the obligations and duties that must be dealt with. Take note of the happiest moments in your life, and prioritize the current facets of your life that deliver more moments like these to you. Remember, you don't need to think about the practical side of things yet. Just focus on what truly makes you tick. Doing this will help you connect with what you care about deeply and what you do not. Keep the list short and sweetno longer than five things. Ask yourself the following questions in order to connect with your priorities: How would you like to live your life? How would you like to be healthy and vital? How would you like to have deeper connections with people in your life? What will make you proud to be able to say about yourself in ten years time? These obligations might be survival necessities, like paying rent and buying groceries, or they might be things that others expect from you, like time and affection. What are the things that you do in attempts to avoid emotional or physical punishment? What do you do out of care and a sense of responsibility? Recognizing what you do out of fear for the alternative will sharpen your ability to see when you are acting from a priority and when you are acting out of fear, urgency or obligation. Slowly, you'll learn to make different decisions about what needs to be dealt with and when. Allow yourself to prioritize the things that you do from an internal, joyous sense of responsibility so that you don't get too bogged down to realize if the things that you care about most begin to suffer from neglect. Begin to notice which obligations can be altered, split, or delegated in order for your values and priorities to be upheld. Can an aunt, friend, or coworker help out with the obligation some of the time? Maybe some of these obligations are not really yours to uphold at all. To live without getting overwhelmed or confused about what your priorities are, it is crucial to surround yourself with people who make you feel comfortable enough to be confident and creative. When you are around others, try to be extra mindful of the people who make you feel alive and alert and who makes spending time feel like a chore. This will bring out your gut feelings about whose presence really nourishes you, making it easier to spend your time feeling uplifted rather than drowning in unsatisfying social obligations. Ask yourself questions, like "Do I feel valuable around this person?" and "Who makes my contributions seem silly?" The answers might be surprising. Do you drink, smoke, or zone out to the television frequently? Awareness of your vices is important not because you should punish yourself for them, but so that you can understand how you deal with life already. By becoming aware of the roles your vices play in your life you can learn how to use them responsibly without making them forbidden fruit. Recognize when you turn to them and notice how the frequency of your use ebbs and flows with changing circumstances. For example, if you go out partying to relax, begin to see this as just one of many tools that you use to deal with life. As long as it's not your only one, you will have the control to realize when it's a useful option and when you might want to use another tool, such as meditation or yoga. What are your most important qualities? Understanding the gifts you can offer the world can help you see the things that are worth dealing with and the things that you can leave behind. Take a few hours to think deeply about what makes you special so that you can better orient yourself to your real priorities. Spend time in a place where you can reflect. Try going to your favorite place in nature, or spending time near people who understand and accept you. When you can really be yourself, what qualities emerge? It may also help to ask people you trust what good qualities they see in you. We are often our own worst critics and have trouble seeing our strengths on our own.