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Plan what you'll say. Anticipate his reaction. Pick a date and time to have the talk. Tell him the news. Take the time to listen. Discuss what you'll do next.
If you're not sure how your husband will feel about your pregnancy and it's completely unexpected, then you shouldn't plan any fun or clever surprises to let him in on the secret. Instead, you should approach the situation as honestly as you can, and make sure that the communication goes as smoothly as possible. Practice maintaining a steady and even tone when you deliver the news. Make eye contact and hold his hand when you tell him. Plan on telling him your feelings. You may have mixed feelings about the pregnancy too. Whatever you feel, this is something you will be able to work out together. You should know your own husband well enough to anticipate how he would react to the news of your pregnancy. If you're married, you must have talked about having children at some point, so you should remember anything he has said about the topic to gauge his reaction. Has he said that he'd love to have kids one day, or has he made it clear that he has no interest in having children? Knowing his perspective on children will help you see how he'll react. Think of other times when you've told him unexpected or overwhelming news. Though it's unlikely that you ever told him anything as important as the fact that you're pregnant, remembering his reaction can give you some insight. Did he take the news calmly, was he emotional, or was he very upset? If he has a history of violent behavior and you think the news may make him react violently, then don't tell him alone. Make sure you're with a friend or family member when you give him the news. Though you should have the conversation as soon as possible, picking an ideal date and time to have the talk can help the conversation go more smoothly. Pick a time that works well for both of you, and when you know he won't have anything stressful to do afterwards so he can let the news sink in. Here are some good ways to pick the time to have the talk: Find a time that is relatively stress-free for both of you, when you can give each other your undivided attention. Don't be too dramatic when you ask him about a good time to have the talk. Just say there's something you've wanted to talk to him about. If you're too dramatic, he may want to have the talk right then and there and you may not be prepared for it. Don't tell him right after he gets home from work. Wait until he has some time to relax after dinner. Once you have your husband's undivided attention, there is no use delaying it. You have to open up. You can make him feel more comfortable with a reassuring pat or by holding his hand, but don't take too long to cut to the chase. Say, "I just found out some big news. I'm pregnant." Wait for the news to sink in. If he's emotional and leans toward you, give him a hug. If he's sitting in stony silence, be patient and don't overwhelm him. If he wants to communicate but he's at a loss for words, tell him more about your feelings toward the pregnancy. If he's receptive, ask him to share his feelings. Once he gets his bearings, he will have a lot to say. You have said your part and now it's time for you to listen. Don't interrupt him or get angry with him. After all, he has just received some life-changing news. Try to remain calm even if he is heated or emotional. Remember that you have had more time to digest the news than he did. Once you've both shared your feelings, you should talk about what you will do about your pregnancy. You might need a breather before you jump right into a heated discussion about what to do with the baby, but don't delay the conversation for too long. Before you make a decision, make sure that you are both completely sure. You have done your best to communicate with your husband, and now you can work on finding a way to make your pregnancy work.