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You may have been controlling, directing, or criticizing people for so long that you weren't even aware you were doing it. Understanding that this controlling nature is not helpful or healthy is a difficult, but important step. If you're controlling, you have become the problem. Are you unsure if you're controlling? Think about a situation with an outcome that wasn't what you wanted. If you immediately felt anxious, irritated, and began correcting the outcome, you may be controlling. Many controlling people offer unsolicited advice. Think about how often you give advice. Were you asked to give an opinion or did you just tell the person what to do? These can be specific or vague. Often times instability, fear, and anxiety cause people to micro-manage or attempt to control their surroundings. If you have a handle on what makes you anxious or afraid, your awareness can keep you from controlling others. Look at the issues on the list that are specifically your problems. Think about what's causing those problems and whether you have any control over them. If not, don't let them cause you anxiety. This will help you deal with your stress or anxiety, making you less likely to try managing others. You might try meditation, reading a good book, yoga, running, playing music, or painting. Regardless of what you choose, do something you enjoy that takes your mind off of worrying. If you always seem to nag the same people, stop yourself and think about what you like about them. After all, if they're friends or partners, there must have been something that you initially liked about them. Start seeing the good in these people and stop seeing the flaws. If you've been directing others for a while, you may not even realize that you come across as blunt or impolite. Remember your manners when asking for things! A simple "please" and "thank you" is a good start. Think about when you're asking or commanding someone. If you're in a bad mood at the time, don't let it affect how you're asking. Better yet, wait until you're in a better mood to ask for something.
Realize that controlling others is a problem. Make a list of the issues or problems you worry about. Learn to relax. Think positively about others. Consider how you ask for things or direct people.