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If a person rushes to respond or share their own opinions, they stand in the way of empathy. Hold mock conversations in which one person talks while the other person hears them out completely. Encourage the listener to turn to face the speaker and make eye contact. The listener should be trying their best to understand what the other person is saying, not simply listening to reply. Those learning empathy need feedback to determine if they understand others' messages during communication. Saying what the person said back to them in a different way helps them double-check that they got the right message. Paraphrasing may sound like, "From what I'm hearing, you seem very shocked and upset about the results of your doctor's exam. Is that right?" If the message was not received correctly, the speaker can try to relay it again so that the listener understands. Paraphrasing can also be taught in practice situations to help them feel confident doing it in real-life conversations. Identifying what someone is feeling can be challenging in the moment. To build the skill, start at the end: with the emotion you think the person felt. Then, reflect back and analyze other details, like facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and the actual words that were said. For instance, if a wife guessed that her husband was angry, she might work backwards and recall that his arms were crossed, he was pacing, he had a sneer on his face, and his speech was overly sarcastic. Noting these details can help her read future nonverbal and verbal cues more easily. Help adults learn empathy by breaking down different scenarios and reflecting on the experiences of the people involved. This may work best by using scenes from popular movies or TV shows. For instance, a scene from a movie may portray two friends fighting. Have two people role-play the scene and discuss what each character may have been thinking and feeling, and what cues help you figure that out. Have everyone start by spending 5 or 10 minutes breathing deeply and generating good vibes about themselves. This might include silently repeating affirmations, like "I am worthy," or simply envisioning giving oneself a warm hug. In subsequent meditation sessions, they can start focusing on a friend or family member. Radiate positive thoughts towards that one person for the full exercisejust for about 10 minutes. After focusing on loved ones for a few sessions, they can then progress to radiating good vibes to a virtual stranger, such as the nice barista at Starbucks or someone they heard about on the news. Loving-kindness helps connect with the deeper human side of oneself and others, increasing a person's ability to feel empathy.
Practice listening without interrupting. Paraphrase what others say to verify understanding. Work backwards to read others' nonverbal and verbal cues. Imagine stepping into the shoes of others. Practice loving-kindness meditation.