Don't try to compete with the biological father. Often, the child is deeply wounded by circumstances involving their biological mother and father and the breakdown of their primary, original family unit. For many, building a new relationship is threatening to them. Time is the best healer but so is keeping actively positive and supporting yourself whenever you're around the child.

Summary: Beware that the children may also have their biological father as a father figure. Be patient when waiting for your new stepchild to respond to your caring, affection, and love.

Let the air completely fill your lungs. Resist the urge to exhale quickly before you've fully inhaled. It definitely takes some practice, since most of us are in the habit of taking quick, shallow breaths instead of long, deep ones. Focus on breathing in as much as you can through your nose, which has tiny hairs that filter out dust and toxins so they can't reach your lungs. As we go about our days, we often breathe in a quick, shallow way without being conscious we are doing so. Daily stresses distract us from being aware or mindful of the way we are breathing. Deep breathing will help you be more mindful of your body. Feel the air enter your lungs and fill them up. When you're concentrating on taking a deep breath, your worries are pushed aside for the time being. As you draw in a deep breath, let your stomach expand by an inch or two. The air should travel all the way to your diaphragm, causing your belly to round out as it fills. If you watch a baby sleep, you see that babies belly-breathe naturally. Their stomachs, not their chests, rise and fall with each breath. As adults, we get conditioned to take shallow breaths instead of belly breaths. When we hold in our emotions, we tend to suck in our stomachs, tensing up rather than relaxing when we breathe. When you learn how to breathe properly, this tension goes away. Lay down, stand, or sit upright as you breathe. It's more difficult to draw in a full breath if you're in a slouched position. Place one hand on your belly, and the other on your chest, as you inhale. You can tell you're breathing deeply and properly if the hand on your belly rises out further than the one on your chest as you inhale. Let out your breath slowly through your nose. As you breath out, pull in your belly toward your spine. Exhale all of the breath in your lungs. After you exhale, take in another deep breath through your nose and continue breathing deeply. Try to exhale for twice as long as you inhale, and fully expel the air. Inhaling and exhaling counts as 1 time. This immediately calms you down by slowing your heart rate and blood pressure, as well as distracting your mind from stressful thoughts. Get in a comfortable position and practice deep breathing correctly 5 times in a row. Remember that your stomach should expand an inch or so from your body, further than your chest expands. Once you get the hang of deep breathing, try doing it 10 or 20 times in a row. Notice how your body begins to feel as you flood it with oxygen. Now that you know how to breathe deeply, use the technique as an immediate stress reducer when feeling uptight or worried. You can perform this deep breathing privately in quiet place. You can just as easily take five deep breaths while sitting at your desk, riding the subway or even talking on the phone. Use this tool to calm yourself down when and where you need to. Each time you notice yourself taking short, shallow breaths, switch to deep ones. You'll immediately start feeling less frenzied and more in control. The more you practice deep breathing, the more natural it will feel. After all, as a baby you breathed deeply with each breath you took.

Summary: Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose. Let your stomach expand. Exhale fully. Try breathing deeply five times in a row. Perform this technique anytime, anywhere.

Follow the instructions on your highlighting kit to get your dye ready to go. Put an old towel around your shoulders to soak up excess dye and wear an old shirt in case of spills. You should also slip on disposable plastic gloves to prevent stains on your hands. You'll want to start with dry, clean hair for the best dye application. Unlike other hair-dying processes, balayage may not require bleaching. The dye formula included in your kit comes with all the ingredients you'll need to lighten your hair without a separate bleaching step, in some cases. If you want a dramatic color change from dark to light, then you may still need to bleach your hair. Choose a small piece from the bottom layer of your hair and apply just a dab of dye to it. Let it process for the instructed amount of time, then rinse out the dye and check the color. This allows you to check the dye color and make sure that your hair doesn't have any negative reactions to it. Draw the tail end of a comb from ear-to-ear in a halo-like line to separate your hair into top, middle, and bottom sections. Slip hair ties around the top and middle sections and move them to the sides, or pull them into small buns so you can work on the bottom section first. Starting on one side of your hair, separate out one thin piece of hair. The exact width of your highlights depends on your preference, but balayage tends to look best with thinner, more subtle highlights, no more than 1 inch (2.5cm) wide. Hold the strand with hand and dip your fingers or dye brush into the dye. Then, gently paint the dye onto the strip of hair with your other hand, applying it more heavily at the bottom and tapering off as you reach the mid-lengths. If you want a natural look, painting the dye onto your hair is the best way to achieve it. However, you should not make horizontal or broad strokes. Try to blend it as well as you can. This tapering method will give your hair the natural, fading effect that balayage is known for. You can dye your hair as close to the roots as you want, but most balayage styles tend to fade out about midway up the strand. Pick a strand on the other side of your head and repeat the application process, going back and forth and from front to back. For the most natural, sun-kissed look, only highlight strands that are about 1 inch (2.5cm) apart, or as far apart as you want your highlights. Once you complete the bottom layer, you can gently section it off with a hair tie, though this is optional. You can also cover your hair with a piece of foil before proceeding. Then, repeat the process with the middle and top sections of your hair. The hair in the bottom layer tends to be darker and more difficult to lighten, so it's best to add highlights there first and give them the longest time to process. Once you've added your highlights, check your dye box to see how long you should wait to let the color processit's typically around 20-30 minutes. Then, rinse out the dye with the shampoo included in the package and follow it with a thick layer of the toning mask, if one is included. Leave the toning mask in as long as instructed, then rinse it out in the shower. Remember that the longer you let the dye process, the lighter your highlights will be.
Summary: Prep the dye and put a towel around your shoulders for spills. Test one strip of hair before you start applying. Separate your hair into 3 sections. Separate a thin, wispy strip of hair in the bottom section. Apply the dye with your fingers or the brush from the dye kit. Continue applying the dye, alternating from side to side. Let the color process, then rinse it out with the included shampoo.