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This will help you to focus on the positive rather than the negative. You'll also notice which of your strengths you value, rather than what someone else does or doesn't like about you. Once your viewpoint is no longer clouded by negativity you'll be able to uncover your true self. Were you always proud of your ability to write thoughtful poems, but he didn't appreciate you for it? Put this one at the top of your list. Alternately make a list of obstacles you've overcome and hardships you've persevered through. Recognizing how resilient you've been in the past, reminds you that you can do it in the present. Make a list of realistic steps and a timeline to help you focus on anything but your break up and your ex. A sense of accomplishment will boost your self-esteem and remind you of your worth. Working hard towards something for the future will mean you're less focused on the day-to-day and more determined on the overall big picture. Writing down your goals, rather than simply imagining them, will help them seem real and make you more likely to hold yourself accountable. Your goals can be anything from working towards a promotion at your job to simply flossing your teeth everyday. The idea is to feel good about yourself and your accomplishments. Focusing on another person, and acting as their support system, will give you a purpose and shift your thoughts away from your break up. Think of it as rechanneling the love and energy you previously put into your relationship. Others will naturally be drawn to you and want to spend time with you, making you feel less lonely and rejected.Volunteer at a local soup kitchen or perform acts of kindness towards a friend who has experienced a death in the family. Giving back and showing kindness towards others has been proven to relieve symptoms of depression. People will be more likely to help and support you in your time of need. It may be hard to believe that you'll find love again, but remember that unless you put yourself out there and take risks, you won't reap any benefits. Learning from past mistakes and applying what you've learned in the future is an important part of ending the relationship. Don't let yourself feel guilty for putting your feelings for your ex, good and bad, behind you. Put yourself out there to meet new people and even flirt if someone catches your interest. You might be surprised at the number of decent, interesting people who attract your attention now that you're more open to meeting them. Ask your friends to partake in a girls night out with you, where you have fun together and meet new people. Purge yourself of materials and even friendships that you find are toxic or holding you back. Make changes and take plunges that you've always thought about, but never actually done. Get a drastic haircut, redo your living room, or travel to a foreign country. Forging new experiences without your ex, will make you feel worlds away from the life you created together. Make small changes such as where you shop for groceries or go to get your hair done. The idea is to feel like you've created an entirely different life for yourself. If there were any hobbies or interests that you found yourself giving up on while you were with your ex, try to rediscover your passion for them.
List your qualities that you're most proud of. Write down goals. Help someone else. Give yourself permission to move on. Create a new reality that doesn't include your ex.