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Think back to when you first met your crush. Try to recall if you still feel the same or if your feelings have grown since then. What's commonly called "love at first sight" is often a sudden physical attraction, or infatuation. Love, on the other hand, increases over time from mere attraction to something deeper. Think about what you like and don't like about your crush. Seeing your reasons on paper might help you to better assess your feelings. Noting their drawbacks will toss a little cold water on your passions and let you think a little clearer about what it is that you do like. Make each side as long as you can. Don't worry about how major or trivial each pro or con is. Write down everything that comes to mind. You could include: Pros: good-looking, kind, someone I can talk to Cons: disorganized, immature at times, can be needy Analyze your pros and cons in terms of whether you're looking at reality or an idealized image of your crush. Circle or highlight which pros intensify your feelings and which cons don't affect how you feel. Evaluate whether those reasons are trivial or significant. If you can't accept the whole personflaws and allyou're not in love. For example, you might be in love if you overlook their messiness because you're too busy appreciating their generosity or engaging conversations. On the other hand, you might not be in love if the sight of them makes feel warm and fuzzy, but you can't imagine a future with them. Pay attention to whether you share their happiness or sadness when they tell you good or bad news. For example, if you start to tear up when your crush tearfully tells you their grandmother died, you're feeling their pain. This is a good sign that you're in love. Ask yourself whether you mean it when you say, "I miss you." Most lasting romantic love has an underlying bond that remains relatively steady over time. This doesn't mean you fret over missing them every second; in fact, that would be an unhealthy kind of attachment. But, missing your partner and wanting to bond with them is a key element of love. Imagine your life in five or ten years. Consider the impact of career changes, children, and relocations. Consider whether you're willing to face minor and life-threatening illnesses with this person. Think about taking care of themor them taking care of youas you grow old. If you can imagine a long-term future with this person, it's probably love. This doesn't mean you've done a complete 180 on your personality. Rather, reflect on whether you've expanded your horizons as a result of your crush. For example, maybe you never considered spending your weekend planting trees before your crush asked you to join them on a reforesting project. Now that you've done it, you feel this newfound connection with nature, and you owe it all to them. If you feel like this person has changed you for the better, it could be love. Take a mental note of how you feel the next time you and your crush do unexciting, everyday things together. For example, you normally hate grocery shopping but suddenly look forward to it because they're going to be with you. This is a sign that you could be in love. On the other hand, if you're still bored to tears and can't wait to do something fun, it's probably just infatuation. " Notice how you feel when your crush talks to your potential rivals. Make a note of how you feel when those potential rivals flirt with your crush. You should also consider whether you suspect your crush might lose interest in you as a result of the flirtation. Periodic jealousy is actually a healthy reaction that can make you want to hang on to someone a bit tighter. In fact, you could be in love if you feel it. On the other hand, if you're suspicious and feel the urge to spy on your crush, it's not love. At least it's not healthy love. It's likely gone beyond infatuation into 'obsession'.
Retrace how your emotions developed. Make a list of pros and cons. Evaluate your list. Check for empathy. Evaluate how you feel when they're not around. Analyze your future plans. Consider whether this person has changed you. Notice how mundane things affect you. Think about the "green-eyed monster.