Article: . Getting upset easily and not being able to soothe yourself are also traits that narcissistic people may look for in in other people. These traits indicate that you are easier to control because you rely more on other people to regulate your emotions. Therefore, it is important to work on your ability to calm yourself when you are feeling upset. One way that you can do this is by learning relaxation techniques. Some good strategies to use include deep breathing, yoga, and meditation. Try using a relaxation technique to calm yourself whenever you start to feel like you are losing control of your emotions. People who are codependent tend to seek approval from the people around them. This need for approval can cause them to internalize other people's feelings. As a result, they may feel compelled to do things to make other people feel better. This is something that appeals to people who are narcissistic, so it is important to avoid this behavior. The next time you are with someone who is visibly upset, try reminding yourself that the person's feelings are his or her own. You might tell yourself something like, "I am not responsible for his/her feelings." " The types of people that narcissists tend to gravitate towards seldom say "no." That means that someone who is narcissistic may find it easier to take advantage of the person. To avoid being taken advantage of in this way, try to become more comfortable with saying "no" when people ask you to do things that you would rather not do. Try reminding yourself that your time, energy, and desires matter. If you do not want to do something or if you don't have time, then you have the right to say no. Avoid offering excuses or apologizing when you say "no." Just keep it simple. Try saying something like, "No, I can't do that." People who have narcissistic tendencies may be attracted to people who seek validation or approval from other people. If you often feel insecure and need other people to tell you that you have done something well, then this may indicate that you are dependent on the praise and feedback of others. This can make it easy for someone who is narcissistic to control you. Try to work on validating yourself rather than seeking the approval of others. For example, if you earn a promotion, then congratulate yourself for it rather than calling up someone else right away. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, "You did it! I am so proud of you!" You might also try keeping a record of your accomplishments as a self-validation exercise. Every time you succeed at something, make a note of it in your journal. You might even write yourself a brief congratulations in the journal to mark the accomplishment. Narcissists need and expect praise from other people. They may talk about their accomplishments and worth with the expectation that you will heap praise on them. However, offering constant praise will cause a narcissist to want to spend more time around you. To avoid attracting narcissists to you, withhold praise from people who constantly seek it. If someone is going on and on about an accomplishment, then you might acknowledge the person and then try changing the subject. For example, you could say something like, "That's awesome! Good for you! I accomplished some pretty awesome stuff this week too! Hey, did you catch the local news last night?" If the person continues to talk about themselves and their accomplishments, then try excusing yourself. Say something like, "It has been nice talking with you, but I have to run. Have a great day!" . A narcissist may dislike being criticized because this could interfere with their sense of superiority. One way that you might let a narcissist know that you will not overlook his or her faults or mistakes is to offer constructive criticism when it is warranted. Doing this from time to time may cause the narcissist to avoid you. For example, if you are playing golf with the person and you notice that he or she is using the wrong type of club for a shot, then you might say something like, "That club is great for long shots, but you might find this shot a little easier if you use this club instead." Don't criticize the person for the sake of criticizing. For example, don't say mean or rude things like, "That dress makes you look fat," or "Your presentation was a train wreck." Make sure that you always have something helpful to say if you decide to offer constructive criticism to the person. . Narcissists may make you feel angry sometimes, but it is important to avoid unhealthy ways of dealing with your anger. Instead, find a healthy outlet to express any anger that was caused by an interaction with a narcissist. Some things you might try include: Exercising, such as kickboxing, running, or cycling. Journaling about your angry feelings. Engaging in a creative activity such as painting, knitting, or cooking. . Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries may make it easier for you to deal with a narcissist who might expect you to go above and beyond for them. Think about your relationship with this person and determine what you feel comfortable doing. For example, if the person is a coworker who often divulges personal information that makes you uncomfortable, then you have the right to tell this person to stop sharing these things with you. Try saying something like, "I am not comfortable with this conversation. Can we talk about something else?" Remind yourself that you have a right to tell other people what is and is not acceptable to you. Don't let guilt or fear stop you from making your boundaries known. . Narcissistic people may use manipulation tactics to get what they want. Try to watch for manipulation when you interact with narcissists. Some common manipulation tactics include: Refusing to speak first to see what you will say and to use it to read you. Using a home court advantage such as requiring you to meet them at their home or office. Using facts and statistics to overwhelm you and make you feel like you are wrong. Speaking in a loud voice or yelling to overpower you. Forcing you to make a decision on the spot. Making fun of you to make you feel less powerful or capable. Judging or criticizing you. Giving you the silent treatment. Pretending not to know what you are talking about. Playing the victim, such as by faking or exaggerating health issues or even blaming you for their unhappiness.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Learn relaxation techniques Separate other people's feelings from your own. Start saying "no. Validate yourself. Withhold praise. Offer constructive criticism Deal with anger Set healthy boundaries Watch for manipulation