Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: So I sit down at the bar ... I have a couple of drinks ... a new bartendress starts ... the girl next to me orders another drink and the bartendress asks her how many she's already had (and I thought that was odd because she was showing NO signs of drunkenness but I thought maybe she knew her) ... I start talking to this guy at the bar who was talking kinda loud and she admonishes him ("saying I keep hearing you and thinking there's gonna be a fight" which was SO not the case (he was just being animated and talking to three people all at once while sitting at the bar. I ask for another beer and she goes "Well okay but I think this should be your last" ... Now I've been a licensed bartender (in Wisconsin) and told not to "over serve" your customers ... but this was just crazy in my humble opinion ... I was NOT slurring my speech, nor was I loud or obnoxious ... No biggie but it was 8pm and I had not been there all that long ... nor had I drank too much (I had four drinks in two hours) ... So if your ever into "tying one on" (which I was not at the time)... this is definitely not the place to go! Also I did not find the people here extraordinary, and the jukebox either ... (typical Johnny Cash classics, punk and new wave standards better than most sports bars but nothing out of the ordinarily for a bar catering to "hipsters") ... and the bartender had her cleavage covered completely with ink (tattoos) which IMHO is a violation of hallowed ground ... and of course she just HAD to show the world ... just gross and boring IMHO ... I will not be back ... but your mileage may vary. Clearly others think otherwise.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: This place is a farce and a travesty... as are all over priced banquet style Thai places that place a premium on marketability at the expense of food taste and quality. It's the sort of place that fat English guys wanting to recreate their holiday in Pattaya or Koh Samui would go. Again, I go back to my rule about ethnic restaurants - the less people of that ethnicity you see patronizing the place the less likely you are to get a great meal. Although they do serve authentic Isan food on their menu - they recreate it unfaithfully and only in shades of what you really get in Thailand. Isan, is a poorer, ethnic minority in Northeastern Thailand that is significantly influenced by Laos. True Isan food is amazing - usually eaten with hand fulls of sticky rice - larb (ground meat, mint, and lime) , som tum (papaya salad), gai yang (grilled chicken), and sai krok isan (isan sausage). Any restaurant claiming to be the standard bearer of Isan food, should serve these dishes with mastery. Thai E-San does offer them, albeit at a ridiculous premium, but does so disappointingly. It is sad to see such a great regional cuisine get such a terrible representative here in Phoenix. Save your money and go elsewhere... unless you are an English tourist in need of nostalgia... in which case, proceed with my blessing!

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A:
We just saw The Miracle Worker at the Hale last night. It was the last play of the 2013-14 season, and it was the best! We love the theater, but I am not often moved to tears by a performance. I was by this one. The actor who played Helen Keller is a little fifth grade girl in her first big performance. She is on her way to bigger and better things! And the actor who played Anne Sullivan was extraordinary! The play runs a couple more weeks, so go if you can! We will be buying our 2014-15 season tickets today, because I can't wait to see Phantom of the Opera and My Fair Lady! And, for dinner nearby you have several great options: Liberty Market, Postinos, and Joy Ride to name a few! Love the vibe of downtown Gilbert, and love the Hale Theater!