Problem: What would be an example of an positive review?

Answer: Last night B and I were looking for a place to eat. Went to Sens last week, Portland's is a bore, ate at Pita Jungle for lunch and a late night snack earlier in the week... and we didn't feel like hopping on the light rail to go someplace else. I didn't feel like Hannys tonight. We decided to go to a fail-safe for us, District. I really like the food there, but was disappointed when we rolled up on our cruisers (after having called them and asked about this) and found out that their stupid kitchen was closed and we could eat from their sub-par bar menu. Okay, this isn't about a bad review for District, I do like their food, but they just tick me off... because we called and they said dinner was being served 'til 9:30. What's up with this town and places closing EARLY? So we decided to finally try Province Restaurant at The Westin. I had't read many reviews, but their menu was, as I recollect, "okay" sounding. So we rolled up on Georgia and Dali and didn't know where we could lock our bikes to. The valet took our bikes and brought them inside... gave us a ticket and we were on our way. The ambiance was beautiful inside... kinda hotel-ish, but definitely more modern and sleek looking. I loved that they did their menus intelligently... a few nicely printed pieces of paper on some stock and a fun clipboard. Little waste. We were seated and asked for a white wine suggestion... got this really nice light Greek wine, which the name escapes me... but B took a picture on his Droid. Luis came to our table and brought our wine... telling us how happy he was that we chose this specific bottle. Very friendly and seemingly knowledgable. He told us the history of the vines and the grapes... also told us about the region. Definitely seemed like a Sommelier, or at least trained properly. I tasted, it was delicious... he told us that he was the general manager. We ordered a couple of tasty appetizers... some sashimi and a taco of sorts, I forgot what kind of fish was on it, but it was marinated deliciously. Oh yeah, they brought a yummy li'l amuse bouche. It seems it's the in thing these days since everyone watches Top Chef and everyone's got an amuse bouche these days. But it was good... some kind of ceviche tasting item... although I wasn't thrilled with eating raw onions... it wasn't bad. The wine was flowing and the waitress came back a couple of times to check on us, which was nice. Our main courses were the pan seared tuna and the bbq lamb. I made the big mistake of ordering the full portion of the lamb. You know how you go to fancy restaurants sometimes and their portions are teeny... well I'm not a teeny eater. So I ordered the full. Definitely not the wisest of decisions... but VERY delicious nonetheless. The bbq sauce was a little sweet, but not too much... and the lamb was pulled, which I'd never had before... but inspired me to want to cook lamb in this fashion at home. B's tuna was very tasty... had an interesting sauce with it that I don't think I've tasted before. Oh yes, we also ordered some vegetables for the table that were grilled perfectly. Really tasty stuff there. Somehow we finished my lamb... and had no dessert. Next time I'd like to go back and just have some dessert and some cocktails. Nice place... pretty bar too. I didn't read any Yelp reviews on this one, but I liked it. PLUS don't forget the valet service for our bikes. We went out to get our bikes... tipped the valet and off we went. Not a cheap dinner, but definitely well worth it, I think.

Problem: What would be an example of an positive review?

Answer: In yet another incarnation Khushi's is now on the site of what was previously an Italian called Massimo's whilst the burnt out branch on Victoria Street is on the market. Having only ever eaten in the defunct one once about 6 years ago comparisons are probably pointless but one thing that did strike me was that the range of dishes available seems to be smaller nowadays. I imagine you could get a vindaloo if you asked for one but that and a few other types of curry don't feature on the menu it seems so you might want to try elsewhere if in search of something particularly hot. Possibly that's a sign of authenticity. Either way the party of 6 I was in with on Saturday past had no complaints about our respective dishes, the knowledgeable & speedy service or the highly sensible policy of not charging for corkage. Not maybe the place to go for a quiet and intimate tete a tete but you could do a lot worse in most other aspects.

Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer:
Went there today for some supplies and they didn't even have pencil cases anywhere! Not even in the home and office section. Always crowded, loud and most of the time it smells like shit. Also if you open the milk case it smells like they killed the cow the milk came from and let it sit in the bottom of the freezer in its own shit. I won't ever go here unless I can't find an item anywhere else.