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Let go of your insecurities Radiate positivity. Pretend that you're more social than you are. Be your genuine self.
. Before you can make friends, you first have to let yourself believe that you're the kind of person other people would want to be friends with. If you're constantly criticizing yourself or worrying that you're not enough, that may be the vibe you end up giving off inadvertently. Other people could mistake this self-consciousness for unfriendliness. To push back against your insecurities, it can help to take inventory of your best qualities. Perhaps you pride yourself on being dependable, or you've been told you give good advice. No matter who you are, you have something to offer when it comes to your relationships. Shy people tend to avoid social interaction because they anticipate a negative outcome. Try to break the habit of playing out scenarios in your head before they actually happenjust take things as they come. Being positive, like being negative, is a choice, which is why it's so important to be sure that you're making the right one. Chipper, upbeat, optimistic personalities are irresistible. Shifting your outlook will take time and conscious effort, but once you do, you'll discover that the people around you are drawn to you naturally, like flowers to sunshine. For every negative thought you have about yourself, try to counter it with a positive one. If you catch yourself thinking, "I'm so awkward," for example, learn to laugh at your slip-ups and view them as endearing quirks. Displaying a positive attitude is especially important when you're meeting someone for the first time. Be careful not to come across like you're complaining while talking about yourself. Highlight the good parts of your life rather than the things that get you down. There's some wisdom in that old saying "fake it 'til you make it." Rather than resigning yourself to the belief that you're just not outgoing enough to make friends, start acting as though you are. Even if you don't believe it at first, the more you tell yourself that you're interesting and likable, the easier it will be for you to approach others. Don't overthink things. Social exchanges aren't tests that you're being graded on. If you're debating whether or not to go up and say hi to someone for the first time or add your two cents to a conversation that's piqued your interest, the answer is yes. By the same token, don't beat yourself up if you put your foot in your mouth. Treat life as a sketch, not a finished masterpiece. When you're desperate to make friends, you may be tempted to play a role or change yourself in order to please others. Understand, however, that it's not worth the trouble. At best, you'll be luring people in under false pretenses. At worst, you'll be doing yourself a disservice by not being true to who you are. As long as you're secure in yourself, you won't have anything to worry about. The strongest friendships are based on openness and honesty. If someone is truly your friend, they'll like you for you. By attempting to pass yourself off as something you're not, you also run the risk of making the wrong kinds of friends, people who don't actually share your values or your way of seeing the world.