Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer: Was in the neighborhood and Yelp'd "Nearby" on my phone, so we ended up here. Like several other reviewers, we are baffled by the many five star reviews of this place. When we walked in, the first thing that struck us was the extremely unfriendly greeting. The restaurant was nearly deserted at 8:30 and we didn't feel very welcome. The second thing that struck us was, despite its claims to be a "New Mexican" restaurant, it's really more of a generic type menu. Speaking of the menus, they are printed on newsprint and were filthy. The restaurant in general was not very clean. All in all, mediocre and over-priced. We tried the Habenero burger and the machaca chimichanga. Both just average and comparable to your typical chain restaurant. The black beans were inedible and the rice was microwaved and obviously quite old. We asked for some chips while we were waiting and we were told that they were $3.00. Uhm, ok. Surprisingly, they turned out to be the best part of the meal. Our server was pleasant enough but the overall vibe was unfriendly despite the fact that there were only 3 or 4 tables in the immense dark cavern that is this restaurant. I guess the next time we're in the mood for actual New Mexican food, we'll have to drive over to Rokerij and hit up the Robertson's menu there. Vastly superior to this joint in every way. $40 with tip and one beer. I can't imagine ever returning here.

Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer: Because I enjoy watching the show on TV, I was expecting an incomparable experience when tasting the products in the store. I would have preferred the lobster tail dough to be softer however the cream filling was delicious with a touch of liqueur. The cannoli was average and I expected the cup cakes a little more moist and soft. Cheese cake flavor did not stand out from others I've tried. I liked half moon and chocolate butter cookies. I also wanted chocolate covered strawberries, but there were none for sale. I feel you are definitely paying for celebrity and not flavor

Problem: What would be an example of an positive review?

Answer:
It's big time trouble that I live across the street from Lorenzo's... The food is completely amazing! I've gone with several people from New York who claim this is as good as pizza back home. It's always hot, fresh and excellent - I have never had a bad experience with the food. Definitely isn't too hot for your waistline but it's all relative. I'm big on customer service, which is why they are only getting 4 stars from me. Most of the time, I'm greeted by the owners saying a robust hello but am served by un-energetic staff. There isn't a lot of urgency or attentiveness to customers. The food makes up for it but I would love to see this change made. Glad to have Lorenzo's as a neighborhood staple!