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Regardless if it is directed towards the positive or the negative, playing the comparison game can result in greater anxiety, depression, and poor decision-making. There are always two sides to a coin. You may look at someone and say yourself "I'm so much better at this than him". It is just as likely that the other person surpasses you on some other trait. You can stop comparing when you start appreciating more. Rather than measuring up to an ideal in your head, simply respect and appreciate what others have to offer as individuals. Remind yourself that no one is perfect, including yourself. If you must compare, hold yourself up to the person you were yesterday. A person with a big ego might think of failure as the end of the world. You shouldn't. Having a fearful attitude about failure can convince you to not try again, or even to develop smaller goals. Failure provides you with an opportunity to refine your knowledge and skills. Learn to celebrate each failure as bringing you one step closer to success. Pay attention to how you currently react to setbacks. Do you beat yourself up? Drop all your big plans? Decide how you would like to react, and do it. Maybe you want to closely examine what happened and change your plans to account for the new information you now know. Give yourself a pep talk. Find some inspiring quotes and place them around your living or work environment. Repeat a powerful mantra to yourself after each setback. In today's high-octane society, success may only be measured by tangible outcomes, such as a trophy, a pat on the back, or a career promotion. Depending on these things can make you have a big ego when you shouldn't, because there are many other ways to measure success than with money or awards. Another way of looking at success is to think of it as a journey. There is one saying about success being the progressive realization towards a worthy ideal. In other words, as long as you are steadily moving (even in the case of making baby steps) towards your goals, you are successful--even if your boss or teachers don't notice and you aren't subsequently rewarded. In the meantime, try not to be so boastful about your successes. Quietly applaud yourself on a job well-done, but be sure to extend the same credit to others. A surefire way to not having a big ego is being able to share success and victory with your peers. Having extremely high expectations for yourself or others could be contributing to your ego problem. Expectations shape the way we view ourselves and the world around us. As a result, we respond to our environment depending on these expectations. When we release ourselves from the expectations trap, we have the power to look at ourselves and the world from a new perspective. Look for unreasonable fantasies that guide your actions. Maybe you were told as a child that if you act like you own the room, everyone feels like you do. This may work, but it may also cause others to distance themselves in the process. Throw away "If, then" principles, and define success in your own way. Practice mindfulness. Strive to be fully present in every moment of your life. That way you are not limited by past or future-oriented thinking that limits the now. Start with a beginner's mind. Believing that we know everything about a given situation can cause us to not see the full picture. To counteract this expectation trap, enter every situation as if you are doing it for the first time. That way you have the openness to receive new ideas and new points-of-view.
Stop comparing. Modify the way you look at failure. Change your views on success. Release your expectations.