Problem: What would be an example of an positive review?

Answer: As a fan of the Attic, upon hearing the news of changes I was a bit skeptical, but I have to say I really like the new space. Not only is the bar the whole top level (Madisson's is gone as well), the patio is larger (the website says 1,000 sq feet), the ladies room is larger, and there are two tap tables. The bars have been condensed into one long piece, running about 2/3 of the way down the wall. A huge dance area, a few games, a photobooth, and scattered high tops fill the large space. There is also seating along some of the back walls with a wide bar height ledge, and a nice window between the porch and the bar so you don't have to go back inside to order your drink! I have to note I stopped in during one of their slower times, so I have no idea how maneuverable the place is at capacity. (which I was told it had reached a few weekends in a row) The bartenders were courteous, the music was only deafening at random, and overall I was pleased with it. Oh, and apparently they sell popcorn and hot dogs.

Problem: What would be an example of an positive review?

Answer: Awesome tasty thin crust pizza. Ask for pepperoncini peppers. Not much seating and a bit hard to find. On the 3rd floor in a narrow alley behind the pool table.

Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer:
I am apparently one of those godless people who has never been a huge fan of Chipotle, but I give everything a fair shot and thought I'd give it another go on my lunch break. It's convenient, there was no line, and I was starving. I ordered a burrito bowl to go w/ barbacoa, and all the toppings. Tell me, how is it possible that I could have put ALL THE TOPPINGS on this thing and it still has zero flavor whatsoever? Bland beyond belief. That's always been my beef (no pun intended..hehe) with Chipotle, it just has no flavor. I then went over to the station to dump some lemon juice, salt, and hot sauce on it to see if that would save it. Here is where things get really interesting. I stuck my cup under the iced tea dispenser and lifted the spigot and the knob WENT FLYING OFF AND GALLONS OF PRESSURIZED ICED TEA STARTED SHOOTING OUT AT ME. I kid you not. Mouths were agape, I was immediately soaked from head to toe and it was continuing to just pour and pour on me and out into the restaurant. I stuck my cup under there to keep it from shooting out at the guy sitting at the table behind me, but there was nothing else to do. NO employee was coming to assist, I was waving my arms and finally had to yell, "Hey guys, we have a serious situation over here"... and then some guy sauntered over and tried to put the thing back on while I"m STILL STANDING THERE HOLDING THE CUP AND COVERED IN ICED TEA. I started attempting to dry my clothes, bag, and shoes w/ napkins and when I turned around the two employees that had worked on the machine had gone away. No one said a word to me, apologized, asked if I was okay, offered a free meal, offered to pay for my dry cleaning that was very clearly needed, absolutely nothing. I was just standing in awe and then finally some girl asked if I wanted another cup. Horrible, unacceptable, service.