Suicidally low . Hey , at least Alabama would n't have to pay for my health coverage if I bit it , right ? ( Yeah , I can actually make bad jokes about it now . Believe it or not , that 's progress . )

OPTIONS:
[i] If I die ..
[ii] None of the above choices ..
[iii] If I eat an apple ..
[iv] If I bite an actual animal ..
Q: What do I mean by " bit it " ?
[i]