Article: . Resentment happens when you don't forgive what someone has done to you. To help move on past the resentment, you must forgive your spouse for what they have done. This helps you both move forward and repair the damage caused by the resentment. Forgiving someone means that you acknowledge a wrong was done, but then you don't let it control your emotions and relationship. You accept the person was wrong, apologized, or didn't mean to hurt you. Sometimes, people are unable to forgive because they want to feel right and be validated. This can impede your ability to heal and move on. Make sure that you have actually asked for help before getting angry at your partner for not helping. A series of hurts becomes resentment when you hold on to the wrongs and keep replaying it over and over in your mind. This lets it fester and become toxic. To deal with the resentment and move forward, you have to let go of the destructive feelings. To let go of these feelings, you have to understand that the negative feelings are in the past. They do not control you, your emotions, or your actions. What happens in the present isn't the same as what happened in the past. Understand that people make mistakes. You cannot control what people do, but you can control your reactions. Letting go of the resentment allows you to heal, which is healthy for you. It helps you be able to build and have healthy, loving relationships. You can deal with resentment by changing the way you think. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a technique where you change negative thought patterns by replacing them with healthier thoughts. When you notice your resentment, acknowledge it. Then, instead of dwelling on those thoughts, tell yourself, "I will not obsess about this. I will let it go." Then imagine yourself letting the feelings go, as if they were a balloon or smoke. When you sit down to discuss your resentment with your spouse, you should come up with ways to solve the problem or change the behavior. Ask for help if you need it from your spouse. Needing help is a common source of resentment, so ask for it to help resolve the feelings of resentment. You may say, "I need your help with the household chores. I cannot do everything myself. I think we should split up the work more fairly" or "I want you to spend more time with me/the family on the weekends instead of going fishing with your friends." While you are dealing with the resentment in the marriage, don't shut each other out. You may still be hurt, so you don't touch each other, hug, kiss, or have sex. This isn't the answer. Instead, focus on overcoming the resentment by connecting again physically. You may have to consciously hug and kiss when before you would have done it as a natural action. Have sex with each other every day or two. This can help the two of you come to a better connection and start rebuilding the relationship, even if emotionally you both are still working through the issuesthis way you don't create an additional problem.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Forgive Let go of your resentment. Use cognitive behavioral techniques. Propose solutions to the problem. Find time for physical connection.