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Mood swings are often associated with persistent expectations for bad things to happen or, in other words, negative thinking. For example, you might be waiting to hear back from a job and assume you didn't get it after only a day has passed. Or maybe your mother has informed you that she has something to tell you and you immediately assume that she's deathly ill. Not only is this kind of negative thinking often inaccurate, but it can also dramatically affect your mood and lead you to feel very angry and upset, typically for little to no "real" reason. There are two different tricks you can try for dealing with such unhealthy automatic thinking: Take a step back and relax. Instead of assuming the worst that can happen, think about all of the other possible scenarios. This will help you realize that the worst is not likely to happen and that there's no point in getting all upset until you know more information. Alternately, you could consider the worst possible scenario and prepare for it, just in case. By ensuring that you are well prepared for even the worst case scenario you can imagine, you might be able to focus your attention on something else instead of dwelling on the unpredictable consequences that could result from it. Overgeneralizing is another way that you may lead yourself into a bad mood. Maybe you had a bad interaction on a date or with a co-worker. So what? You may think this means that you'll never find love or that you're going to be fired, but you shouldn't let this one situation or conversation make you feel like it's indicative or determinant of other trends in your life. This kind of generalizing is bound to make you moody and upset, but there is a way to counteract it. Remind yourself that what happened was an isolated incident. Instead of assuming one incident (such as a disagreement with a coworker or date) is reflective of your entire relationship with this person, consider it as a one-off and something that doesn't happen very often. Remind yourself of all of the success you have had in this realm, whether it's your work life or your romantic life, and you'll be able to calm down a bit and realize that there's no need to get all worked up about it. Thinking only in terms of extreme, or "black and white" outcomes (e.g., perfect vs. disastrous or beautiful vs. ugly, etc.) is associated with both mood swings and sudden alterations in effect. Focusing too much on just one outcome (as opposed to any other) has been shown to severely restrict your ability to engage with ideas and emotions that arise through your interactions with the world. If everything is judged simply in black or white terms, such as whether something makes you either happy or unhappy, successful or a failure, beautiful or ugly, you will be missing out on a full range of experiences. It's important to remember that the world is much more nuanced than this; the world is gray, not black and white. There are many different outcomes other than just being a complete success or a total failure. For example, maybe your latest business deal fell through. Does this make you a failure in the business world? Absolutely not. You've had plenty of successes and a few setbacks. This in fact just makes you a real and well-rounded human being. If something doesn't go your way, chalk it up to experience. If you didn't get the job you wanted, it doesn't mean that you have no skills, but that that particular opportunity was not a good fit. The world is big, and there are lots of opportunities out there! Don't let one rejection or even many tell you who you are and drive you into a dark emotional place. One of the most important things you can do to control your mood swings is to learn to take a step back and laugh at yourself. People who are prone to mood swings often take themselves pretty seriously, which makes it difficult to be able to poke fun at yourself, make a joke at your own expense, or even be able to laugh at a debacle you've found yourself in. But if you want to control your mood swings, then you have to be able to sit back and sometimes laugh, instead of letting every little thing that life throws at you get you riled up. For example, you're walking to pick up your date, and a bird poops on your head. You could choose to get enraged, upset, or frustrated, or you can take a step back and think, "Wow, what are the chances of that happening?" Or, "Hey, at least I'll have a great story to tell the kids someday about mine and mom's first date!" Of course, some situations can't be laughed at. However, for all the rest, some happiness can help you stay strong and in control of your moods in the middle of challenging situations. Take a step back and think. You might need to pause and adjust your expectations so that they reflect the true state of the situation. Sometimes, you may feel a mood coming on because you have to spend 15 minutes circling around the supermarket's parking lot to look for a spot. Though you may feel like it's the end of the world right then and there, take a moment to think about what is really upsetting you. Is it really that crazy that the supermarket is full right before the weekday dinner hour? Are you crazy about something silly like having to find a parking spot or because of a rude coworker's pointless comment earlier in the day? Ask yourself if it's really a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Maybe it is, but it's likely that you're letting something small blow out of proportion. We can often let moods come over us without thinking about their source. Though knowing that there's no logic in your current mood may not help you change it, it can allow you to calm down a bit and realize that things aren't as bad as they may feel to you. Think about your situation as if you were someone else. What would you tell yourself to do? Would you think that the situation you're in is really that big of a deal?
Cultivate optimism. Avoid overgeneralizing negative outcomes. Make space for the gray areas of life. Learn to laugh at yourself. Reflect on your situation objectively.