Q: I have seen Slaughter High several times over the years, and always found it was an enjoyable slasher flick with an odd sense of humor, but I never knew that it was filmed in the UK, and I never knew that the actor that plays Marty Rantzen (Simon Scuddamore) committed suicide after the film was released. I guess I did notice while watching it last night that the actors phrasing seems rather odd for Americans, and a few of them aren't very good at hiding their English accents.

All that aside though, this is the tale of the class nerd, Marty, who is the butt of jokes from his classmates, and on one particular day, April Fools Day, he's lured into the girl's locker room by one Caroline Munro (yes, playing a teenager) and humiliated big time on film. Of course, the coach catches the gang at work & they're all given a vigorous workout to punish them, but not before a couple of the guys slip Marty a joint, which he tries to smoke in the chemistry lab, but it's full of something that makes him sick & when he runs to the restroom, one of his classmates slips in and puts a chemical that reacts with something Marty is mixing, which results in a fire and the spill of a bottle of nitric acid, which leaves poor Marty burned & horribly scarred.

Ten years later, this same gang is headed for their class reunion at good old Doddsville High, which seems oddly boarded up and inaccessible, but thanks to ingenuity they manage to get in and find the place seemingly derelict...except there's a room where a banquet and liquor is laid out and so of course, they eat, drink, and be merry. For soon, they will die, of course.

The gang is stalked one-by-one by a figure in a jester's mask, but could it be Marty? They don't know, they figure he's either in a loony bin or working for IBM, they're not sure which. But whoever it is, he's making quick work of them. Particularly nasty is the girl that takes a bath to wash blood off her from one of her classmates whose innards popped all over her when he drank poisoned beer. She is victim to an acid bath which I believe may have been one of the parts originally cut in the tape version, because it seemed extra nasty when I watched it this time. I could be wrong but I believe that wasn't on the tape.

At any rate, there's somewhat of a twist ending, and that also contains footage not on the tape, I believe. There's also a bit of frontal nudity early on that was also excised, but apart from that I didn't really notice if there were other bits on this uncut version, probably so but it's been a while since I've last seen it.

At any rate, if you're a fan of 80's slasher flicks then snap up the new release DVD, because it's a fun little slasher with a good atmosphere & feel to it. 7 out of 10. OPTIONS:
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A: positive
Q: Being that I loved the original "Caligula" even with all its flaws, I have to say this remake trailer was abysmal.

Listening to Jovovich say in that lazy American accent "Mmm cuhligyooluh..." makes me feel sick. The set doesn't look Roman at all... it looks like some rich actor's Hollywood mansion backyard, and the Roman costumes look like cheap crap you buy at a suburban costume shop.

That "charming" Adriana Asti looks like a fifty year old Hispanic woman totally terrified out of her mind, as if not knowing it's a movie trailer.

The acting has got to be some of the worst I've ever seen, with most of the lines I hear being random actors screaming "CALIGULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" as loudly and obnoxiously annoyingly as they can.

The random sex scenes also filled a good 40 or 50% of the trailer, and the scenes with notable actors/actresses like Gerard Butler (who graces the screen in shadows for all of three and a half seconds) not doing anything but looking uncomfortable or going all-out over the top with their minimal lines, just dragging it down with the ridiculousness of their delivery.

Courtney Love's part consists of her looking like her usual dumpy crack-whore self leaning against a door mumbling about the moon or something. You can't tell because she's either drunk or high or just mumbling idiotically.

Karen Black is just annoying... randomly laughing, and screaming in such a way that irritates you.

Helen Mirren... she was in the original, and her return to "Caligula" consists of... "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALIGULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I particularly "love" (and by love, I mean hate) Ennia's line, "Caligola... j00 no maki me *something incoherent*.... *something that sounds like j00nalo*" It's also insanely arrogant to say Caligula's four year reign was greater than Jesus's birth and death.

Honestly, this has got to be the worst, most exploitative, self-indulgently arrogant piece of crap labeled as "art" I've ever seen. Even if Gore Vidal hated the original Caligula, he shouldn't have shown up or given his name over for this crap-pile, no matter how much they paid him (unless it was a billion trillion yen). Worst trailer ever. OPTIONS:
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A: negative
Q: Isabelle Huppert is a wonderful actor. The director of "La Pianiste" understands this, providing the viewer with long takes of Huppert's face, and these are a pleasure to see. Huppert is not an animated actor--she registers emotion with the smallest lift of an eyebrow or flicker of a smile.

Other than the enjoyment of watching an experienced actor excel in her profession, there is nothing in this movie that makes me want to recommend it. (Well, if you enjoy self-mutilation, sado-masochism, and bizarre behavior, "La Pianiste" might work for you. Other than these attributes, I could not find any redeeming value in it.)

Buried in all this strange material there is a kernel of truth. People who compete at the very highest level--musically, athletically, whatever--begin as strange people, and are shaped into stranger people by the competitive environment.

Not worth a trip to a movie theater to relearn this life lesson.

OPTIONS:
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A: negative
Q: Jackie Chan name is synonomus to stunts. This movie never let you down.The opening best chase scene and last roll down scene from the pole is so risky than one wonder ,if he knows the meaning of fear.This movie comes very close to Jackie's best which is PROJECT A.But the main difference being that PROJECT A contains three stars where as in this movie Jackie carries the film entirely on his shoulders.This is perhaps the main reason that this movie made jackie an biggest martial arts star followed by Bruce Lee.The film has nice comic touches too. What makes this film work is Jakie's ability to show his venerable side which his in contract to the typical martial arts action hero.This movie was followed by a sequel which was good but was quite tame in comparison to its predecessor. OPTIONS:
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A: positive