Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: This movie was amazingly bad. I don't think I've ever seen a movie where every attempt at humor failed as miserably. Let's see...the acting was pathetic, the "special effects" where horrible, the plot non-existant...that pretty much sums up this movie.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: I found this to be a charming adaptation, very lively and full of fun. With the exception of a couple of major errors, the cast is wonderful. I have to echo some of the earlier comments -- Chynna Phillips is horribly miscast as a teenager. At 27, she's just too old (and, yes, it DOES show), and lacks the singing "chops" for Broadway-style music. Vanessa Williams is a decent-enough singer and, for a non-dancer, she's adequate. However, she is NOT Latina, and her character definitely is. She's also very STRIDENT throughout, which gets tiresome.

The girls of Sweet Apple's Conrad Birdie fan club really sparkle -- with special kudos to Brigitta Dau and Chiara Zanni. I also enjoyed Tyne Daly's performance, though I'm not generally a fan of her work. Finally, the dancing Shriners are a riot, especially the dorky three in the bar.

The movie is suitable for the whole family, and I highly recommend it.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: Excellent documentary, ostensibly about the friendship and subsequent rivalry between two West Coast retro rock'n'roll bands: The Dandy Warhols and the Brian Jonestown Massacre. What it actually turns out to be is a portrait of a borderline psychopath - Anton Newcomb - and his tortured relationship with the rest of the world. Interestingly, for a music documentary, there is hardly any music. What there is - snatches of songs, more often than not aborted by the performers - is incidental rather than central. Although the protagonists are musicians, the story is not about music but rather about a particularly American version of a British myth of a cartoon lifestyle, ie, one where nobody has to take responsibility for behaving like spoiled adolescents on a full-time basis. Tantrums, drugs, violence, grossly dysfunctional attitudes, egomania on a truly epic scale - all of this is excused or positively encouraged because it conforms to some collectively held idea about what rock'n'roll is about. As a film this is a first-class documentary but it raises more questions than it answers. For example, why is Anton's music so conservative? For someone so wild and outrageous (and he IS wild and outrageous) his music never seems to have progressed beyond the most obvious derivations of his 60s idols (The Stones, Velvets etc.) For someone who claims to be able to play 80 instruments he has never bothered to learn to play any one of them beyond the most rudimentary level. Similarly, the Dandy Warhols burning ambition is based on a vision of rock'n'roll which is astonishingly fossilised in 1969. Nothing wrong with pastiches, of course, but surely there's more to musical life than perpetually acting out a cartoon from the late 60s. Why don't they take some risks with their music - in the way that their role models did? Because, one suspects, this is not about music. Music is just an accessory, a prop, or an excuse, to lead completely dysfunctional and irresponsible lives. But why? In the Dandy Warhols case, the answer is obvious: to make lots of money and be famous. Big deal. Anton Newcomb's case is more interesting. He is obviously very talented, but every time he is given an opportunity to reach a wider audience he sabotages it, usually in the most dramatic way possible. He is terrified of success, and at the same time, deeply resents anyone else who has it - especially his former friends the Dandy Warhols. Fascinating movie. Highly recommended.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer:
The adaptation of Will Eisner's SPIRIT to the TV screen followed many other offerings developed from comic strip pages or comic books. (Remember, the two aren't exactly the same medium) It is indeed ironic that this is the one and only adaptation (as of the time of this writing)of Eisner's smart alec, wise cracking, tongue-in-cheek super hero.

Story has it that Republic Pictures was interested in doing a film version and was in negotiation with the copyright owner in the mid '40's, but they were never able to close the deal. The left over screen play became the serial, THE MASKED MARVEL, one of Republic's best. Perhaps that it was just as well, for that studio had a penchant for tinkering with material adapted from the comic strips, pulp mags, radio and the comic books.

As for this 1987 made for TV movie, it's pretty obvious that it was a failed pilot for a proposed television series. Whereas an old, long time comic reader,like myself, can be a little harsh in criticism of an adaptation, a viewer unfamiliar with the character may be able to give some fresh observations, clear of any preconceived notions of what this screen version should look like.

Well, while sitting and watching the story unfold, with the characters interacting amid some crime wave, the Little Lady (my wife, Mrs. Ryan) nailed it with one statement. "This can't make up its mind if it's serious or not!" That pretty well describes both THE SPIRIT and his creator, Mr. Will Eisner, the true creative genius in the comics.

The film is a sincere attempt to put Eisner's world on the screen. The casting of Denny Colt/The Spirit, Commissioner Dolan and Ellen was really quite well done. Though in a contemporary setting, it was still in the tradition of "the good old days" as far as the costuming goes, you know, when men and women still wore hats! That brings up this one final (and meandering) point, and that is that the director and the production made a conscious effort and succeeded in giving the characters a Will Eisner look as far as facial expressions and body language. We say,Kudos to them for their efforts.

It's just too bad that no series followed! Oh, well in today's motion picture world, comic adaptations seem to be a hot item. Maybe some big timer producer and director could do a really 1st class SPIRIT production for the Big Screen. We can only hope.

UPDATE: Dateline, Chicago, Illinois. 6/4/2008. By now, everyone who goes to the Movies at the Shopping Centre Multiplexes has seen the poster advertising the new film of THE SPIRIT, (subtitled, MY CITY SCREAMS); which is to be released Christmas Day, 2008. Well, we'll see then just what we've been talking about. Just keep your fingers crossed! TO BE CONTINUED.............

UPDATE II: We saw the new film, Writer-Director Frank Miller's rendition of THE SPIRIT a couple of days ago. Well, we got our wish; but is this a good thing or another case of "Be careful what you ask for; because you may get it?" Please read our write-up elsewhere in IMDb.com. THANX!