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Over the past twenty-plus years, many experts and laypeople alike have embraced relationship researcher Gary Chapman's concept that all people "speak" one or more of five "love languages." By identifying the language that fits your boyfriend, you will be better prepared to communicate effectively and show affection. Chapman's five "love languages" include: words of affirmation; quality time; gifts; acts of service; and physical contact. Depending upon their primary language, people are more receptive to acts of love that match that category. For instance, someone whose language is "quality time" will respond better to a long weekend together than a gift card to his favorite store. Take note of the ways that your boyfriend responds to the different ways that you show affection. Once you determine which language he speaks, you can tailor your acts of affection to accordingly. He will in turn experience and appreciate your affection more fully. No boyfriend, girlfriend, or anyone else in a relationship is going to be truly happy if they don't feel like they are trusted. Being honest, even when it is difficult, is one of the best ways to show trust. Sometimes the truth does hurt, and it may cause him distress when you speak honestly. But beneath that pain will be an appreciation that you trusted him enough to be honest with him. Admitting to cheating on your boyfriend, for example, is probably one of the most difficult times to be honest. Don't put it off indefinitely, but do wait for a time when you are both calm and can speak without distractions. Choose your words carefully (practice beforehand if it helps), but don't be so vague that your point is not being made clearly. Start with something along the lines of "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you deserve the truth," then admit your transgression without making excuses. Apologize and explain, but don't beg or demand forgiveness; say you hope he can forgive you. If you're afraid to tell your boyfriend the truth about something because you think he'll break up with you, or are worried he may do something hurtful, then you may need to question the importance of the relationship anyway. If it can't be built on trust and honesty, it's not going to last, and neither of you will end up happy. Of course, a good boyfriend will want to spend a lot of time with you. But he'll still want and need some time to himself or with his friends. So long as it doesn't come to the point where he's regularly ignoring you, let him have it. You like to have some time to yourself, right? Well, remember that trust is a two-way street. If you can't let him have space to do his own thing, why should you expect it in return? Every solid relationship requires some personal space. Some need more than others. So long as he's with you when it counts that is, when you need him, for a ride or for a shoulder to cry on you should be glad. Don't make him be with you, make him want to be with you. It is a sure thing that your boyfriend isn't perfect, no matter how great he is. No doubt you find yourself thinking of the little things you'd like to change about him to make him even better. You can inspire people to change, or help them to change, but you should never expect them to change. If you can't take him as he is, don't take him. Maybe your boyfriend is a slob, or is always running late, or takes jokes a bit too far sometimes. You can talk to him about your concerns, and provide support if he wants to become better organized, more reliable, or more sensitive. But if you feel like you need to change the essence of who he is, then you probably aren't with the right guy.
Speak his language. Be honest with him. Give him his space. Don't expect to change him.