Input: .
Generate a negative review for a place
Output: WORST. DINING EXPERIENCE. OF MY LIFE. I registered for a Yelp account now, just to post the most negative review I could manage to write. The service was aggressively terrible - not intentionally rude, but negligent/incompetent to the point of rudeness. To illustrate, I include a timeline of our dinner: 6:15 - party of 2 seated; table too tall for my short girlfriend; promise made to move us to recently vacated table once it was cleared. 6:30 - water poured; drink order attempted, but since we had no drink menu, unsuccessful. 6:40 - new table cleared; moved. 6:50 - drink order taken, along with food, though only because we flagged down our waiter as he walked by. 7:15 - drinks arrive. Observe table seated after us receiving food. Gnawing hunger begins. 7:40 - ask if food will be up soon; told the "kitchen is really backed up." At no point until now had water been refilled, or had we been given any indication that we were still in our server's plans. 7:59 (exact time significant, since we'd resolved at 7:30 to ask for the manager if 8:00 arrived without our food) - food arrives. Mostly mediocre. Fried bananas were actually very good, crab dip was pretty good, and mashed potatoes were fine, but fish tacos were badly overspiced, and the chicken had less flavor than I make myself when I'm in a rush. Collard greens tasted literally like grass, though edible with enough salt applied - seriously, no butter or garlic? How complicated is it to sautee collard greens? 8:30 - water glasses refilled, at our request. Dessert order taken. 8:50 - dessert arrives, with check, as we're waiting at the bar to register our displeasure. Once home, cheesecake mostly flavorless. What little flavor it does possess comparable to licking the inside of a Snickers wrapper. The best feature of the dinner, I have to say, was the sense of community fostered by the horrifically, preposterously, legendarily awful service. It's what I imagine the intent of hazing in a fraternity house to be - give a disparate group of people a common trauma to bring them together. We made friends with the patrons around us over the superlatively deplorable experience. Now, I call it "legendarily awful" with intent - tales of the 3-hour Dinner of Tears will be told throughout the generations in my family. I will make sure of it. I will also make sure that neither I, nor anyone I care for, ever has the misfortune to set foot in Samba, for any reason, ever. [For clarification: we intended to eat at Samba, but ended up at the Cabana Room downstairs. In either case, my rage remains.]

Input: .
Generate a positive review for a place
Output: The Poker Palace I absolutley LOVE the .01 games. I am so gratefull that they still carry the classic coin machines, but mostly I adore the fact that your non-smoking area doesn't smell like smoke. I get peevish around smokers inside. I smoke my self, but like I have stated I smoke outside. After I played a few bucks late Sunday night, I had a few coronas; I got hungry the guy across from me was munching on some hot wings. I decided to meander around the place until I found Mickeys Snack Shack. Omg they have 8 wings and FF for $2.50. I was so suprised I decided to give them a try and sure as shiz They are delicous. I can't really say anything negative about who was there. Illegals, blacks, whites or anything of that nature. I don't really care as long as no one bothers me. The inside of this places is pretty decent. The cocktail servers were a little slow to come around and offer something to drink. Besides the facts this will be on my list of most common places.

Input: .
Generate a negative review for a place
Output: I'm only giving it 2 stars bc the food is good ad that's about all that's good about this place. Pros: good, healthy food Cons: service is ok, not terrible and it takes forever to get your food Well, the food is pretty good...if you don't mind waiting 30 minutes or longer for it. My bf and I are staying at the hotel and thought we would go down and get some breakfast to go. There was only one person in line ahead of us and they got a coffee and a pastry. I ordered the "Skinny Scramble" which is literally scrambled eggs and veggies thrown in together. Nothing complicated. He got a bagel with bacon egg and cheese which he got right away. After 20 minutes of waiting we said something and I watched the lady pick up the phone and basically reorder my food. By this time his bagel was cold so we asked for a new one. The one they gave us seemed a bit greasy, but we didn't think much of it. I finally got my food and the lady was nice enough to give me a fruit cup for free (which here is $6). While we were waiting, there were also other people waiting forever for their food and they too had to go say something and then and only then did they get their food. So...the bagel was so greasy it was literally falling apart. My scramble was amazing, but it definitely looked a little rushed. This place is consistent in that, the food is really good, but it takes forever to get it. We actually went here last night and it took forever, again, to get our food and he got a grilled cheese and I got gnocchi (potatoes) with meat sauce. Again, nothing complicated, but apparently it is for these people. I will not be eating here again. I'm a pretty laid back person and I don't usually get this upset, but this place is just disappointing.

Input: .
Generate a negative review for a place
Output:
This place would fair better in a town with fewer food options. The pizza is... ok. The service is plain slow. Location is great and they do have a street side terrace, just don't be in a hurry.