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Okay, so you got fired. You got dumped. You injured your leg. Does this mean you should look for a new job, join OkCupid, or start training for a marathon ASAP? Of course not. Give your situation a little bit of time until you feel calm enough to make a rational decision. Obviously, you should start looking for new work sooner than you should start training for a race with an injured leg, but you get the picture. If you try to solve the problem directly after the setback, you're likely to make a decision out of desperation and despair, not from a rational standpoint. Watch the entire first season of The Killing. Take a long walk every day for a week. Don't do anything that would make you wallow or be upset, but clear your mind, do something different, and start to heal. This is another important part of dealing with disappointment. You can't keep thinking that the world is completely unfair, and that what happened to you was completely horrible. Okay, so maybe it was, but it happened, and there's nothing you can do to make it un-happen. It was in the past, and this is your present. And if you want to have a better future, then you have to accept the past for what it was, however unpleasant it may be. Obviously, you need to "practice" acceptance because it won't happen overnight. Let's say your husband cheated on you -- are you going to "accept" that overnight? Obviously not, but you can come to a place where thinking about it no longer leaves you feeling completely angry and bitter. Sure, hanging out with Mom or your best friend Mindy might not help you improve your career or find a new place to live, but it can make you feel better about the process. You'll see that you have so many great relationships in your life, and that you have an awesome support system that can help you through it all. Though you don't have to rehash the disappointment with everyone, just having them there will make you feel like you're not so alone with your pain. Don't force yourself into loud social outings if you're not feeling up to it; hang out with your friends and family in low-key settings. The old plan didn't work out for you, did it? That's perfectly okay. Ships have to change courses in the middle of the night all the time to avoid unforeseen obstacles, and so will you. Find a new way to get to that dream career, to find that perfect man, or to make your dream charity come to life. Maybe you've had a setback in your health and won't be able to walk for a few months. Work with a physical therapist to make a plan for success. Take a look at your life in a new way. How can you still follow your dreams, make yourself happy, but move things around? Talk to people who know what they're doing. If you're a teacher who is struggling with your job, talk to the principal. If you're trying to make it as an artist, see if there are other artists in your city who will be willing to offer some insight. Call a family friend who knows something about having to relocate to an unpleasant location for a job. Talk to your mom about what it was like when she went through her divorce. Though every situation is different, getting advice from different people (provided that you trust them), will give you more direction and will make you see that plenty of other people are struggling, too. So you may not become director of the writing program at your small college. But there's a new reading series that opened up and they want you to be in charge. Dash at the opportunity to do something new that can give you experience, help you work with a variety of people, and give you more confidence about achieving your goals. If you only want to do thing A, B, or C, then you'll be turning a blind eye when opportunity Z, the best opportunity of all, struts right by you. A new person can be a new opportunity, too. Don't close off and hang out with the same circle of friends; a new friend can bring new momentum and energy to your life. Maybe you've only looked for work as a high school teacher and just can't get a break. Why not try something different but related, like teaching community college? It can still be a great opportunity that will give you the experience you need. The Nobel-Prize-winning author, Alice Munro, didn't publish a book until she was 37, Steve Jobs was a college dropout, and Matthew McConaughey cleaned chicken coops before he became a star. Look at the lives of other people who dealt with major disappointments before coming out the other end with more guts and more appreciation for what they have. If success was served up on a silver platter, then it wouldn't be worth the struggle, would it?
Take a break. Practice acceptance. Spend time with close friends and family. Make a new plan. Seek advice. Be open to new opportunities. Get inspired.