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Acceptance can be hard, but it will help you heal. Remember that no one is perfect. Sometimes we hurt others by accident and other times on purpose. Rather than repressing or ignoring what you feel, see acceptance as a form of catharsis. For example, let's say that you had a really busy day at work, and forgot that you had plans to meet with your sister after work. At the last minute you're caught up in helping your company with something, and completely forgot about your plans with your sister. You forget to check your phone until two hours after the date/time you planned to meet her. When you realize what's happened, you call your sister. Take ownership of your mistake. And make plans to reschedule if she's willing. When you have negative thoughts about yourself and who you hurt, tell yourself, "I accept my mistakes. I have learned from them." If you are feeling guilty about what you did, you are already expressing a very honest emotion the sense that you aren't perfect. Take this emotion to heart, and avoid repeating your mistakes. Don't continue to hurt someone what you know it's wrong. You are not automatically a bad person for hurting someone. Sometimes we end up hurting others because we felt hurt ourselves. Do you feel like you've been hurt? Practice self-love. Take time to reflect on who you are and who you want to be. Take time away from the stress of work, school, and life. Think of three things that you love about yourself. Focus on aspects of your personality. By looking at your strengths, you can remember what good things you have to offer. This may seem simple, but oftentimes it can be difficult if the person is hurt, no talking to you, and avoiding you. Don't assume that saying, "I'm sorry," will fix things. It may take time for someone to believe or trust you. Apologize in-person if possible. See if there is a way to talk with them one-on-one rather than in public. If in-person isn't possible, then a phone call is the next best thing. Avoid apologizing via chat, text message, or email. This form of communication may skew things, and make it more difficult to be direct and supportive if they're still feeling hurt. For example, instead of texting back and forth with a friend you've hurt, ask to talk with her one-on-one the next time you see her. The apology will be more genuine and straightforward when done in person. Consider giving them some time to recover before talking with them about what happened. Don't try to patch things up if the person is shocked or stressed. They may have difficulty listening to your apology. Ask the person if there is anything you can do to make it up to them. If you missed a dinner date, for example, offer to take them out at a later date your treat. If things continue to be rocky between you and the person you've hurt, consider writing a thoughtful and apologetic letter. Think about what you want to say and why before you just write and send it. Think about the letter as a way to let go of being hurt, rather than trying to assign blame. But don't expect that the letter will set everything right again. Listen to what the person says. After an apology it's easy to want to hear an immediate "You're forgiven," but this is the person's opportunity to get that hurt off their chest. The most loving thing you can do is listen with empathy and not become defensive. Give the other person time to really air it out if that's what they need. Everyone makes mistakes at one point or another. It is a fact of life. While some mistakes are in our control, others are not. Take initiative when you've hurt someone due to your own actions and mistakes. While you can't take back the past, that doesn't mean history is going to repeat itself. Talk with others that you trust about what you did and how you're feeling after hurting someone. Get the perspective of someone who doesn't necessarily have an emotional investment in the situation. An objective look from an outsider's point of view may help. For example, instead of asking a mutual friend for advice about another friend you've hurt, ask your parents, an older sibling, or someone you trust who doesn't have a close relationship with your friend who you've hurt. Think about what you can do better next time. Think about the different ways that you could have handled the situation better.
Accept your mistakes. Believe in yourself. Ask for forgiveness. Learn from your mistakes.