Summarize the following:
Note if they use "I" statements, such as "I realize now what I did was wrong and I regret what I did." You should also listen to their tone of voice and their body language. Most people maintain eye contact and use a sincere tone of voice when they are apologizing. Avoidance of eye contact, or a flat or sarcastic tone, may signal that a person isn't being serious. An authentic apology should be direct and heartfelt. For example: "I realize now that what I did was wrong and I regret it. I apologize for my actions and hope you can find a way to forgive me." Keep in mind that body language can vary based on a person's background and disability. For example, someone with social anxiety might avoid eye contact while being sincere. This may be a sign the apology is not genuine. If someone doesn't really want to apologize, they may be quick to point out how you were wrong, or blame you for most or all of what happened. This type of phrasing could be a sign that the apology is not heartfelt and is really a way for the person to pass blame onto you or to not have to deal with the consequences of their actions. For example, a passive aggressive apology might be: "Well, I asked you to go to the party with me, but you refused. I went alone and lied to you about it. If you'd said yes in the first place, I wouldn't have had to lie. Sorry." In the above example, this person may not be giving you an authentic apology and may just be leaning on a bad habit of using an apology to get out of a sticky situation. For all the analysis you can do on a person's intentions, often your gut instinct can be a good gauge of whether or not to trust and accept the person's apology. Take a moment to consider the apology and listen to your gut feelings about the person and their apology. Ask yourself: Is your gut telling you the person is being honest and sincere? Do you have any feelings of doubt or confusion around the person? Does the apology to you sound sincere? Before you accept the apology, you may want to consider the context around the apology and how well you know the person. For example: If the person apologizing is a close friend who already has a history of bad behavior, ask yourself if they're using apologies to try to avoid facing consequences. If a family member or partner is apologizing to you for something out of character and rare, you may be more amenable to accepting their apology. People make mistakes or hurt others for a variety of reasons. It's important that you are willing to move past the person's mistake, especially if they offer a sincere apology. If you are still questioning whether or not you believe the person's apologetic tone, you may want to have a longer conversation with them about your concerns. This may be a better approach than accepting an apology you do not believe is sincere and remaining resentful or upset, despite appearing to be okay with the situation.
Pay attention to the phrasing of the apology. Watch for any passive aggressive phrasing in the apology. Rely on your gut instinct. Consider if you are ready to accept the person's apology. Don't be afraid to give yourself time or have a longer conversation.