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Children thrive when they feel secure in their environment and understand what is expected of them. Develop a consistent household structure, clear expectations, and logical consequences if these expectations are not met. Avoid responding to your child's poor attitude with anger. Instead, calmly deliver your request and then disengage. If your child is younger or may place him or herself in a dangerous situation, disengaging may mean selectively ignoring your child's poor behavior while continuing to actively supervise. If your child is older or in safe circumstances, leave the room (always remain within earshot of a young child). While counting to three, five, or ten is often recommended as a tool to redirect a child's behavior, it may provide even greater benefit for a beleaguered parent. Count in your head before responding to your child's frustrating behavior. Doing so gives you a few seconds to regroup and calm your own frayed emotions. Let reality be your child's teacher. Follow through on the consequences you've set for poor behavior. If your child has been told, for example, that if she responds to your requests with sarcasm she cannot attend Friday's football game, hold firm in your resolve. She'll learn that poor behavior has real consequences. Issue reminders -- but hold your child responsible for following through. Developing brains do sometimes forget what they've been asked to do, so plan on allowing some leeway for a reminder or two. You might even try a written reminder. Consider developing a system of "warnings," but follow through with consequences if those warnings aren't heeded. Remember that to attain the long-term goal of a well-behaved child you may have to deal with short-term personal discomfort. You may have heard the adage, "punishing the child punishes the parent," and while you're listening to a temper tantrum or dealing with an angry teenager you'll recognize the truth of this saying. In the end, though, your job as a parent is to struggle through the immediate discomfort of a situation, recognizing the long-term benefits at stake. Children often display poor attitudes and other bad behavior because they feel out of control. Employing a time-out interrupts the cycle of this behavior, giving the child a moment to regroup and reflect. Consider targeting the length of a time-out to the age of your child (for a 2-year-old, for example, set a timer for two minutes). Ensure the privilege withdrawn relates in some way to the poor behavior you're trying to correct. A child who refuses to put down his video game console, for example, may lose the use of this toy for a day. This technique works best as part of a pre-arranged behavior management strategy. Sit down with your children and decide upon behaviors you expect -- and privileges they'll receive in return. For example, you might agree that your child will receive the privilege of watching a favorite television program if she completes her homework without fussing. Creating a system helps children learn that with increased privileges come increased responsibilities.
Set clear boundaries. Remain calm. Allow your child to reap what he or she sows. Use time-outs as a consequence. Withdraw privileges.