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If you want to really reflect and understand yourself better, you're going to need to think about parts of yourself that you really don't like and admit to some things you might not want to admit to. You'll be naturally defensive about admitting these kinds of things to yourself, but if you're really going to understand how you work, then you're going to need to let go of that defensiveness. Even if you don't let those barriers down for other people, you at least have to let them down for yourself. Becoming less defensive about your weaknesses can also mean opening yourself up to getting help from other people and making amends for past mistakes. If you're more open to discussion, criticism, and change, then other people can really help you understand and improve yourself. We lie to ourselves a lot more than we'd like to think about sometimes. We'll help ourselves to think that we made some questionable choices for noble or logical reasons, even when we were really just being vindictive or lazy. But hiding from the real reason behind our motives doesn't help us change and develop into better people. Remember: there's no point in lying to yourself. Even if you discover truths about yourself that you really don't like, this only give you the opportunity to take those problems head on instead of just pretending like they don't exist. Sometimes, especially when we do bad things, others will try to warn us against those behaviors. We also have a tendency not to listen. Sometimes this is good, because lots of people will say things about you just because they want to hurt you and their comment will have no basis in fact. But sometimes what they say is a good, outsider's analysis of how you behave. Think about what people have said in the past and ask for some new opinions about your behavior. For example, your sister might notice that you tend to exaggerate. But this is unintentional on your part, which can serve to show you that your perception of reality is a bit off. There's a big difference between evaluating what they say about you and letting that opinion control your life and actions. You shouldn't tailor your behavior to suit other people unless it is having a significantly negative impact on your life (and even then, you might want to consider that your environment might be the problem, not your behavior). Make changes because you want to change, not because someone else tells you that you should. Giving advice will often give you a great opportunity to think through your own problems and reevaluate them from the outside. When looking at someone else's situation, you will be more likely to think about situations and circumstances that you never thought of before. You don't even have to do this activity for real, although helping your friends, family, and even strangers is a nice thing to do. You can give advice to your older and younger selves, in the form of a letter. This will help you think through your past experiences and what you took away from them, as well as what is really important to you for the future. The best way to really get to know yourself, however, is to just experience life. Just like getting to know another person, understanding yourself takes time and you'll learn far more through experiencing life than by interviewing yourself and taking tests. You can try: Traveling. Traveling will put you in lots of different situations and test your ability to handle stress and adapt to change. You'll come to a greater understanding of your happiness, priorities, and dreams than you ever could just sitting in your same old boring life. Getting more education. Education, real education, challenges us to think in new ways. Getting education will open your mind and lead you to think about things you'd never even considered. Your interests and how you feel about these new things you learn can reveal things about you. Letting go of expectations. Let go of other people's expectations for you. Let go of your expectations for yourself. Let go of your expectations for what life should be like. When you do this, you'll be more open to seeing what new experiences might make you happy and fulfilled. Life is a crazy roller-coaster and you're going to encounter a lot of things that scare you because they're new or different but don't close yourself to those experiences. They might make you happier than you've ever been.
Let go of your defensiveness. Be honest with yourself. Listen to what others say to and about you. Give advice. Take time and experience life.