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If you are having sexual problems, you may want to go see a doctor. Many sexual disorders have an underlying medical cause. If you know the reason why you have a sexual disorder, you can bring this to your partner's attention. Your doctor may perform a physical exam or additional tests to determine the underlying problem. Your doctor may also send you to a specialist or give you a referral to a sex therapist who can help you determine any causes for your sexual problems. For example, diabetes can lead to sexual problems in both males and females. You may want to ask your doctor for suggestions on how to work on the sexual problems at home. There are various different sexual disorders that people can have. These disorders also vary depending on your gender. Men and women face different sexual problems which may specifically deal with their genitalia, or may have a mental or psychological disorder that affects the normal function of their sexual organs. Being able to tell your partner what your problem is can help you both figure out a way to deal with it. Erectile dysfunction is a common sexual disorder for men. Men who have erectile dysfunction have trouble getting and maintaining erections. Men may also face premature, delayed, or inhibited ejaculation. Men can also face a low libido, leading to less interest in sex. Women can face desire disorders (where they may not be interested in or have less desire for sex), arousal disorders (where they don't feel arousal), orgasmic disorders (where they have trouble having orgasms or feel pain during an orgasm), or sexual pain disorders, where they feel pain during or after sexual intercourse. Aging and hormonal changes, including a reduction in estrogen in women and testosterone in men, can lead to sexual problems. Menopause in women can cause sexual problems, such as lack of lubrication. Stress, anxiety, and depression can lead to sexual disorders. Sex addiction is another sexual disorder. One good way to prepare for talking to your partner about your sexual disorder is to write down your thoughts. When you get face-to-face with your partner, you may get embarrassed, frustrated, or upset, which may interfere with your thoughts. Prepare ahead of time so you know what you want to say. You can write down your thoughts onto a piece of paper you have with you when you talk to your partner. You may want to write out complete sentences or just list bullet points with ideas so you are reminded of points you wanted to make. You may want to practice out loud what you want to say so it's easier for you when you get in front of your partner. Because you know you have a sexual disorder, you may have been pulling away from your partner or have stopped wanting to have have sex. This may lead your partner confused and hurt. Before you talk to your partner, think about how your actions may have been perceived so you can think about ways to approach or reassure your partner. Your partner may feel pushed aside, confused, and hurt because he or she doesn't believe you feel attracted to him or her anymore. Your partner may have become self-conscious because he or she believes there is something wrong with his or her body that has caused you to stop being interested. Be prepared for your partner to think that you may be having an affair. Don't get defensive, but be prepared to face the accusations. You should do as much research about the sexual disorder as possible. Your partner may have a lot of questions or be unfamiliar with your problem. You should be able to provide your partner with information to help him or her understand what you are going through. You may want to compile a list of websites or books for your partner to consult so he or she can better understand what you are going through.
Go see a doctor. Determine your specific sexual disorder. Write down your thoughts. Think about how your partner may feel because of your behavior. Educate yourself.