Q: People that worry about how they look seem like they care too much about what people think. Be laid back to avoid coming off like you're self-conscious. Go with the flow when people suggest going to a certain restaurant or to see a certain movie. Stay calm when discussing things that upset you and avoid arguing over petty topics. You should still be an assertive and confident person when acting laid back. For example, if someone is asking you where you want to get a bite to eat, saying "I don't care where we eat" still communicates confidence. On the other hand, "Well, where do you want to go?" sounds timid. If you have trouble calming down, focus on your breathing when you're nervous. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Count to 10 with each inhale and exhale to cool your nerves. When you're on a date, focus more on having fun than making your date happy. This will make it seem like you're just trying to have a good time, not trick your date into liking you. Body language is extremely important when it comes to how you're perceived. Stand up straight and keep your chin raised. Make eye contact when speaking or listening to someone. If your body exudes confidence and strength, people will automatically assume you aren't weak or timid. If you're trying to seem laid back, slouching a little when you're sitting can really help you look relaxed. When you're standing, lean against the wall to seem like you aren't trying too hard. Keep your hands out of your pockets. This is a classic defensive maneuver that makes it seem like you're trying to protect yourself. Don't smile all the time when talking to women. If you're always smiling to get them to smile back, you'll come off as creepy or manipulative. If you have 16 items in your grocery cart, go ahead and hop in the express lane that says "15 items or less." If you're only supposed to wear white undershirts to school, opt for a gray or off-white. Breaking silly minor rules that don't affect anything will make you seem like you're capable of thinking for yourself. Additionally, defying authority is the exact opposite of what a nice guy would do! If you go out of your way to be nicer or kinder to women, you'll come off like you're manipulative or want something from them. It can also come off as sexist. This isn't to say that you should go out of your way to be rude to women, but if you're treating women differently it can come off as patronizing. Don't hold the door open for a woman if you wouldn't hold it for a man. Don't offer to buy something for a female friend if you wouldn't offer the same thing to one of your male friends. Treat everyone the same way to shake the "nice guy" ego.
A: Be laid back to appear like you aren't trying too hard. Keep your head up and make eye contact to express confidence. Break minor rules that don't matter when it's practical. Treat women the same way that you treat men.

Q: If you can, try to give yourself some breathing room away from the object of your affection. A lot of crushes are born of proximity, or simply being around someone who happens to be remotely likable. If you're not around this person as often, the crush might peter out on its own. If you're crushing on a close friend: Make yourself less available. If you want to try to preserve the friendship, aim to spend as little time as possible with the other person right now without hurting his or her feelings. Or, if you trust your friend to respond compassionately, explain your problem and state that you just need a little space right now. If you're crushing on a mutual friend: If the friend of a friend is the problem, try to bow out of group social events gracefully. If you have to, explain the issue to your first friend so that he or she won't take it personally. If you're crushing on someone at school: Take this opportunity to work harder on your studies, and distract yourself from your crush. Every time you're tempted to think about him or her, open a book or drill flashcards instead. Take different routes to class or sit elsewhere at lunch if you have to. If you're crushing on a co-worker: Focus more on your work. For the time being, avoid group lunches, casual mid-day conversations, and events like happy hour. If you're crushing on someone you can't physically avoid: Mentally distance yourself instead. Being in the same room as someone doesn't mean you have to think about them, too. Think about whatever task you're doing, or daydream about all the awesome things you'll do someday without your crush. If your crush is always hanging out in your current group of friends, try broadening your social horizons. Making new friends will distract you from your current misery, boost your confidence, and might even lead you to someone who's a better match for you. Here are some places to start: Find people who share your hobbies. Love trivia? Swing by a few local pubs and ask about the next trivia night. Into writing? Look around online or inquire at local colleges to find a new critique group. Play sports? Search online for intramural leagues, or look up the local chapters of leagues like the World Adult Kickball Association. The possibilities are endless! Get involved in service. Volunteer at a local shelter, or contact an organization that champions a cause you care about, like humane treatment of animals or environmental clean-up. Attend a few service events and strike up some conversations with like-minded helpers. Take advantage of school or extracurricular groups. If you're already attending a school or an organization that offers extracurricular activities, get involved! Party-planning committees (like for Prom), choir, or sports leagues are all possibilities. Use this time to step back and re-evaluate ways you can improve your own life, instead of devoting all that mental capital to your crush. You'll find a few distracting tasks to take care of, and you'll be bettering your own situation at the same time. Give yourself a mini-makeover (even if you're a guy!): Is your wardrobe feeling a little stale? Have you had the same hairstyle for too long? Pick up a few new, confidence-boosting pieces for your closet, or investigate a new haircut or color. If you're not sure how to navigate your options, ask a particularly stylish friend or family member for help. Get organized. If it's been awhile since you've cleaned out your closet/car/garage/basement, get on it! Sorting through old junk can be a meditative process, and you'll probably feel relaxed and accomplished when you're done. Work out. Exercise clears the mind when you're so focused on pushing your body, you can't afford to worry about much else besides breathing and moving. Take up running, swimming, biking, or another activity that can both improve your body and de-junk your mind. Practice positive self-talk. It sounds silly, but it really works. Look at yourself in the mirror a few times a day, and say whatever it is that you need to hear. It might be "You'll find someone better" or "No one is worth all this moping." Repeat it until you believe it.
A: Separate yourself from your crush. Meet some new people. Take care of yourself.

Q: Pour the three cups of water into a small pot, and bring to a boil. You may also boil the water in the microwave if desired. Stir the oats with a wooden spoon. Start checking for doneness at about the 20-minute mark. For chewier oats, cook less. For more done oats, cook more. Do not stir the oats as they simmer. Allow them to rest in place as the water cooks them. Turn the heat lower if the oats seem to be drying out too quickly. Stir the mixture well using a wooden spoon. Let the oatmeal simmer for another 5 to 10 minutes. Spoon into bowls for serving. Sprinkle with cinnamon, nutmeg, brown sugar, maple syrup, or fruit.
A:
Boil the water. Add the steel-cut oats to the pot, along with a pinch of salt, and bring back to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium low and cook uncovered for about 20 to 30 minutes. Add the milk to the oats. Remove the oatmeal from heat.