Article: To tell if you experience frustration that falls outside the normal range, answer these questions. You might find that your frustration is extreme, and if that's the case, seeking therapy or anger management classes might be a valuable option. Are you usually irritable? Do you normally respond to frustration by blaming or snapping at others? Do you self-medicate letdowns with alcohol, drugs and excessive eating? Do you often hurt others' feelings when you are responding to frustration? Do you tend to feel misunderstood after a bout of frustration has passed? Do you often lose your cool in the middle of a hard day of work or school? When you get disappointed, do you feel as though life is impossible or that you are unworthy? Spend some time thinking or writing about the potential sources of frustration in your life. Be as specific as possible about what triggers your frustration--maybe it's a co-worker or classmate you find frustrating or even the way that someone says or does something. Try to consider whether or not this source of frustration is something that you want to control and cannot. For example, you cannot control another person's point of view. But, you can control whether or not you engage this person in conversation. Doing this will help you understand and accept these things in the long-term, making you more capable of handling them with patience. Alternately, you might find that you can avoid certain frustrations entirely. For example, if you take a slow, traffic-heavy route home from work, you could opt for a slightly longer route that allows you to avoid it. Frustration is not always misplaced, and it may be a reasonable response to a very real and difficult issue or issues in your life. However, frustration can build if you believe that every problem has a clear solution and there's something wrong with you or with your life for not being able to arrive at it. Instead of trying to solve a difficulty once and for all, try to focus on cultivating a helpful attitude toward it. Understand why it exists in your life and be open to facing and learning from it. Understanding that the source of frustration may not be clear-cut will keep you open to handling your frustration without acting from it. For example, you might think twice before quitting your office job just because the printer keeps jamming. Timing is everything, especially when it comes to warding off frustration. It's often the case that we are faced with something that you're capable of handlingjust not right now. Spend time noticing your energy shifts throughout the day. You might notice, for example, that most mornings tend to be a great time to handle serious issues, but in the afternoons you feel too tired to face bills or make big decisions. Avoid frustration by only doing these things when you know you have the energy level to conquer the task. Having several routines that you can use to make daily life less impacted with in-the-moment decisions. This reduces frustration by eliminating how much newness you must cope with regularly. Especially if your usual sources of frustration are managing daily tasks, running late, or not having enough time in your day, try sticking to a schedule. Use the things that you must "show up" for, like coming into the office or picking up your child from school as anchors. Then, you can plan things like paying bills, buying groceries, and enjoying a morning workout routine around these commitments. Don't stress yourself out trying to schedule everything. Instead, organize few hour blocks of the day that are normally unstructured to make these times run more smoothly. You will be less frustrated by little inconveniences like traffic or hassle at the bank knowing that you are making efforts to allot time for these duties. Frustration is also caused by trying to manipulate and change things that don't matter much in the first place. When you are about to fly off the handle or request or make a change to get things a little more "how you prefer it", ask yourself if it will matter tomorrow (or next week, or next year). Chances are the situation is something you can let go of and forget about. You may want to also ask yourself if you care deeply about the frustrating situation. If it is not somehow linked to your deeper values, you may be trying to get your way just for the sake of it. When this is the case, have a little laugh at yourself and let it go. In moments of frustration, remember it is not just you who are bearing the brunt of the negative thoughts and judgments; those around you also risk getting caught in the middle of your mood. If you're in a conversation in a moment of frustration, try slowing down and thinking through your words. Ask yourself if the first thing that comes to mind, for example, "why are you so incompetent?", is a helpful thing to say. Remarks like these only make frustration mount and spread. Listen closely to what the other person is saying, and try to get a sense of where they are coming from. Take this into account when you answer, choosing to be understanding rather than making a quick judgment. For example, if you are frustrated that your roommates never wash the dishes, approach them wondering, without judgment, whether or not they are aware of this shared responsibility and whether or not something is blocking their ability to help. This will make negotiation much more peaceful than accusing them of being lazy slobs (as your frustration may tell you they are). If the peace of acceptance does not come easilyand this does take time to cultivatego ahead and release your frustration in a way that will not harm yourself or others. Yell into your pillow or punch it until you get tired. Sometimes frustration is more effectively dealt with by expressing anger instead of trying to soothe it. So, trust that your frustration will pass by simply letting it out rather than trying to manipulate or intervene on the frustrating situation itself. Do this when the frustration is ongoing, or there's little you can do to change the frustrating situation. Make sure that you are in a place where others won't be intimidated or frightened by your release.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Gauge your frustration. Recognize potential sources of frustration. Approach the source of frustration carefully. Understand your natural rhythms. Put yourself on a schedule. Pick your battles. Refine your communication. Release frustration healthily.