Article: Everybody feels shy or insecure from time to time, but if you feel inhibited by your shyness, it is probably because you have been telling yourself you are somehow inadequate. These feelings of inadequacy are reinforced on a daily basis by the negative things you constantly tell yourself. Learn to pay attention to negative thoughts and distinguish the rational thoughts from the irrational ones. Do you constantly tell yourself you're unattractive? Do you tell yourself you're boring? That you're weird? Irresponsible? Negative thoughts like these are what keep you from feeling confident enough to be a social person. More importantly, they keep you from living a fulfilling life. Until you've addressed your insecurities and told yourself you're a worthy person, you won't be able to truly socialize. Sometimes we get so accustomed to these negative thoughts that we no longer notice them. Start paying to attention to the kinds of thoughts you are having. Once you have learned to recognize when you are having a negative thought, you can slowly train yourself to silence these thoughts so that they no longer inhibit your life. When you catch yourself having a negative thought, try one of the following exercises: First, acknowledge that the thought is there. Now, close your eyes, and visualize the thought in your mind's eye. Label it as a "negative" thought, and then let it slowly dissolve until it disappears completely. Turn a negative thought into a constructive one. Let's say you're overweight, for example. Instead of constantly telling yourself "I'm fat," tell yourself "I'd like to lose weight and get healthy so that I'll have more energy and feel more attractive." This way, you can turn a negative thought into a positive goal for the future. For every negative thought, think of three positive thoughts. Being a positive person will also make it much easier for you to socialize and make friends. Nobody wants to be friends with a Negative Nancy. Unfortunately, we spend so much time trying to improve ourselves that we forget to acknowledge our accomplishments, our talents, and our good nature. Talk to people you trust to find out what they think your most positive traits are. Then, ask yourself the following questions to help get your list started: What have you done in the past year that you are proud of? What is your proudest accomplishment of all time? What unique talents do you have? What do people tend to compliment you on? What positive impact have you made on other peoples' lives? Part of the reason why people struggle with insecurity is that they compare their own "low" points with other peoples' "high" points. In other words, they compare the negative qualities of their own lives with the positive qualities of other peoples' lives. Keep in mind that behind closed doors, everybody experiences pain or suffering from time to time. If you find yourself wondering why certain people seem happier than you, remind yourself that happiness has little to do with external circumstances, and everything to do with attitude. Consider turning off or taking a break from social media. Social media sites can inhibit your will to go out and be social in-person. They also encourage you to compare your day-to-day life with the filtered and edited high points of others, which may lead to depression. Ironically, people who feel invisible and insecure also tend to feel like they are constantly being watched, criticized, and laughed at. While you are certainly not invisible, it is irrational to think that strangers are constantly staring at you and waiting for you to mess up. People are so involved with their own lives that they have little time to notice if you do or say something embarrassing. Even if they do notice, they will likely forget the incident within an hour or two, while you may hold on to it for years. Letting go of the feeling that you are constantly being watched and judged will help you learn to ease up and relax around other people, making socializing much more pleasant. Get over the fact that everyone is always staring at you or judging you. Like you, they are more concerned about themselves than the people around them. So, the worst thing that can happen is...you meet someone, and that person doesn't want to hang out with you again. Is that unpleasant? Sure. The end of the world? Absolutely not. Most of the time, this definitely will not happen. If you think that most people will reject you and are afraid of socializing because of it, then you'll be missing out on meeting a lot of amazing people. Know that you're not going to hit it off with everybody, or even most people. But think about all of the amazing relationships you can form if you just put yourself out there more. Practice saying, "So what?" when you're afraid. Then, really think about what would happen if your fear came true. This will help you question the reality of the scenarios that overcome you.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Pay attention to your insecurities. Learn to cope with your negative thoughts. Make a list of your positive qualities. Stop comparing yourself to others. Remember that you're not the center of the universe. Get over your fear of rejection.