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Are you romantically interested in your best friend? Ask yourself whether you would be interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with this person if they did like you. How you feel about them as a romantic partner will influence your reactions towards their behavior. If you are interested in them romantically, try to be honest with them about how you are feeling. If the signs are there, they might be interested in you as well. You could try to hint that you have a crush on someone to see how they react, or ask them if they are interested in anyone. For example, you could say "Jen, I've been thinking about our friendship a lot, and I think we could be really great together as more than friends." You may be giving them signals that you are interested in them without you realizing it. For example, you could be flirting with them, being more physically affectionate, or opening up more to them emotionally. If you are not interested in your friend as a romantic partner, you should try to stop these overly affectionate behaviors, since they could be giving them mixed signals. If you are interested in them, you can continue giving them signs that you are interested. You may still be confused about whether your best friend really does like you in a romantic way. You can talk to a close friend to ask their opinion and to see whether they know if your friend has a crush on anyone. Do this carefully, you don't want word to get back to your best friend that you're talking about them behind their back. Only talk to friends that you really trust and who have a good perspective on the situation. You could also casually talk to one of their friends to see if they know whether your best friend is interested in someone. You could say something like, "Hey, I noticed that Zach hasn't been talking about Caroline anymore. Do you know if he's interested in someone new?" If you're still not sure, just ask. This is the only reliable way to figure out if they are interested in you romantically, but it can come with some risks. For one, the person might not want to jeopardize the friendship, and so will feel uncomfortable telling you. Be sure you want the relationship to move onto a romance before asking. If you don't, it's better to just avoid the question and let the feelings slowly pass. If the best friend suddenly makes a move or comes out and tells you, then you can address it. If you want to ask, say something like, "I don't want to weird you out, but I've noticed things changing a little between us lately, and wondered if it's because our relationship has shifted a little bit." This will give them an opportunity to share their feelings. If your friend doesn't open up, or says something dismissive like, "No way, what, are you crazy? We're friends, that's all", you should let it go. You can diffuse the situation by saying something like, "Hey, no problem, I was just curious. It's cool, either way." If your friend is scared to tell you, or is wrestling with their feelings, it may take some time for them to come clean about it to you. Be patient and compassionate, and don't pressure your friend. Let them know that your friendship is important to you and that you care about them as a person. Whether you and your best friend end up together or not, your friendship is special and you don't want to lose them. If they are interested in you romantically, and you don't share the same feelings for them, they may need to take a break from your friendship. This will hurt, but they need time to process their own feelings and move on. Tell them that you do care about your relationship by saying, "Ben, your friendship means a lot to me. You're a great friend and I'm glad that I have you in my life. I don't have romantic feelings for you, but I hope that we can still be best friends."
Determine how you feel. Look at how you're acting. Talk to your friends. Talk to them. Approach the topic carefully. Tell them how much you value their friendship.