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Eye contact is important when you are listening. If you give your friend the impression you aren't interested and are distracted, they may never open up to you again. When it comes to being a good listener, it's important for you to have eye contact with the other person. When someone is talking to you, focus directly on their eyes so that they will know with certainty that you are absorbing every single word. Even if the topic is not interesting to you, at least respect and truly listen to what the speaker has to say. Don't stare off in space. Focus your eyes, ears and your thoughts only on him/her and become a good listener. Don't concentrate on thinking about what you will say next, but instead, focus fully on what the other person is saying. (Remember that it's about the person, not you.) If you want to be a good listener, then it's important for you to create a conducive physical and mental space. Remove all distractions and confer all of your attention to the person who has something to say to you. Turn off communication devices (including cell phones) and arrange to talk in a place with no distractions. Once you are face-to-face, quiet your mind and pay attention to what the other person is telling.Show them that you are helpful. Pick a place that is free of distractions or other people who might grab your attention. If you go to a coffee shop, make sure you're focused on the person who is speaking, not the interesting characters who walk in and out of the door. If you're talking in a public place like a restaurant or a cafe, avoid sitting near a television that's on. Even if you're determined to give the person all of your attention, it can be tempting to take a quick look at the television, especially if your favorite team is playing. Nodding your head will indicate that you understand what the speaker is saying, and will encourage them to continue. Adopting body postures, positions and movements that are similar to the speaker (mirroring) will enable the speaker to relax and open up more. Try looking straight into their eyes. Not only does this show you are listening, but it shows you take real interest in what they are saying. Another way to have encouraging body language is to turn your body toward the speaker. If you're turned away from the speaker, then it may look like you're itching to leave. If you cross your legs, for example, cross your leg toward the speaker instead of away. Don't cross your arms over your chest, either. This will make you appear standoffish or skeptical even if you don't actually feel that way. Active listening involves the entire body and face both yours and that of the speaker. You can be quiet while still making it clear that you are hanging on to every word that the speaker is telling you. Here's how you can make the most of the situation by being an active listener: Your words: Though you don't have to say, "Mmhmm," "I see," or "Right," every five seconds or it will begin to get annoying, you can throw in an encouraging phrase here and there to show that you're paying attention.If that person whom you are talking to really means something to you,then you will surely pay attention and help them sort out their problem if there is any. Your expression: Look interested and meet the gaze of the speaker from time to time. Do not overwhelm the speaker by staring intently, but do reflect friendliness and openness to what you are listening to. Read between the lines: Always be alert for things that have been left unsaid and for cues that can help you gauge the speaker's true feelings. Watch the facial and body expressions of the "teller" to try to gather all information you can, not just from the words. Imagine what kind of state of mind would have made you acquire such expressions, body language and volume. Speak at approximately the same energy level as the other person. This way, they will know that the message is getting through and that there is no need to repeat. Be patient and willing to just listen, without giving any advice. Try to repeat what the other person is saying to confirm the exact meaning. Sometimes words can mean two different things. The best way to confirm and avoid misunderstanding between the conversationalists is to repeat what the other person is saying so that the other person knows you were listening and both of you have the same idea. Consider their circumstances. If they are a sensitive person, don't give them "tough love."
Make eye contact. Give the speaker your full attention. Encourage the speaker with body language. Listen actively to express your interest. Don't expect them to open up immediately.