Problem: IMHO , the proper use of church signs is to display God 's Word . Those who write a clever saying and then attach " God " to it , come very close to blasphemy to me . I would be very careful in attributing to God the words of men . I prefer the words of God .

Why is the narrator upset at the sign ?

A: They find it blasphemous .

Problem: I do n't want to feed Bert food that he knocks on the floor . I worked in the food industry and am kind of OCD about hygiene . She insisted that I would and that , despite my claims to good hygiene almost to an obsession , she 'd seen my apartment in Portland and I could never care about hygiene .

What may have caused you not want to feed Bert ?

A: He leaves a mess when he eats .

Problem: Holy crap is Auckland ever like Vancouver . The similarities are freaking crazy . I had to take a " seabus " over to their house and the view from the ferry was exactly the same as Downtown Vancouver . It even has those orange - y giraffe / dinosaur crane thingamajigs .

Why was the narrator surprised with New Zealand ?

A:
They felt it was similar to Canada .