Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer: My friend and I woke up this morning craving croissants and she suggested I stop by the Lux to and buy three. I stood in line and looked over the baked goods but did not see any croissants. As I waited, I watched a young, skinny, hipster wearing a trucker hat taking a middle-aged woman's drink order. His eyes rolled several times as he scribbled on the paper cup. As he set it on the back counter for the barista he turned around and faced me. It was my turn to order. I went to college in Portland, Oregon and live near Hawthorne and 39th where hipsters run the streets like rats in a Mumbai sewage ditch. All the cliches, the tights jeans, smoking Lucky strikes, bicycling everywhere. The predictable clothes and messy hair? Fine. What I can not handle and the reason I am sitting here writing this review (with croissant crumbs all over my shirt) is the attitude. I know hipsters and the games the play. I asked the guy if they had croissants and he looked quizzically at me. After a pause he told me that they did have them earlier in the morning. Another pause and he told me he would check to see if there were more. He then stood there staring at me for maybe 8 seconds. I decided to play the game and stared back. We were locked in eye contact for maybe 8 seconds. He then sneered and found the croissants. He was very questioning of taking them to-go and seem very confused and disgusted while putting them in the to-go box. The young woman at the cash register never made eye contact and, like the croissant guy, looked befuddled and annoyed by my standing at the counter and ordering croissants. Swiping my card was a a chore for her and handing it back to looked arduous for her. As I drove home I felt judged, deflated, and angry. The only thing that made me feel better was the croissant. I warmed it up in the oven and covered it in butter. Good croissants. A-hole staff.

Problem: What would be an example of an positive review?

Answer: The Dispensary is fun and a little funny. It doesn't look like a lounge at all. First of all, it had carpet. Like, house carpet with a deep pile. It has a working water wheel in the back. Very interesting, in a different and fun way. It's a good little dark hovel. Perfect to slip away to with someone else for a drink and some intimate conversation. The burgers are cheap and pretty damn good. The drinks are cheap-o as well. Big booths line the walls that you can fold yourself up into and disappear from the world in. But really? Grandma carpet? So weird!

Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer:
Was quoted 40 dollars to unclog a sink and 60 dollars to unclog a bath tub. When he shows up the price changes to 150 total cash only. He was there a total of 45 minutes and there was nothing difficult or unusual to justify the price change...never again...