You are given a review about a place. You need to provide a rating from "1 star" to "5 stars" for this place.

Q: The name of the game at this place is making sure you create more demand than you can supply. I called before purchasing a Groupon to get the details. It all sounded good. I told her we would be there on a Friday. Did we need a reservation? No. Were there any special exclusions for the Groupon? Nope.

So we walk in to ride at 11am and we're told there is at least a 3 hr wait and they have a reservation for a large party at 4pm so it will be at least 7pm before we get on and she couldn't guarantee that. We asked about different days, other times... nada. There were at least 3 other out of town groups that came in while we were there and they were all in the same boat. Some of them opted to wait. That's no way to spend your vacation time.

With so many people coming in from out of town it's just not right to create a promotion you can't honor. The business' recommendation? Get a refund from Groupon. So their lack of capacity now becomes a problem for me and the promoter they hired. Just not well run.

A: 1 star
****
Q: Hurray for Heart Attack Grill! Fun! Fun! Fun! Free burger for anyone over 350lbs!

Just outside the restaurant is a gigantic scale. The hostess greeted us with hospital gowns and wrist bands. When we sat down, all I wanted to do was look around the room and talk about all the faux movie posters and news footage. I noticed that everyone was having a good time! A lot of people looking in from the outside and taking pictures.

The bartender was a "doctor" and the wait staff were "nurses". If you don't finish your burger, you get spanked with a paddle!

Menu is simple. Burger and fries. How many patties you want is the real question. A good tasting burger with some awesome fries! Coke is served in a bottle and the service was delightful!

A: 4 stars
****
Q: Need a sensationalized story? Want a sarcastic look at the news? Want the sometimes decent stories to be overwhelmed by the massive amount of porn ads?

Read New Times!

This is a tabloid, plain and simple. Anyone who says anything else is lying to you.

A:
1 star
****