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Make concrete plans and don't cancel. Stop promiscuous behavior. Stop getting numbers of people you won't call. Pursue the person you are truly interested in.
Commitment phobes are notorious for being hard to pin down for invitations and plans. Challenge yourself to agree to dates planned a week out in advance -- or whatever is outside your comfort zone -- and do not cancel. Don't say, "I'll try to stop by" or "I might be able to make it." Say, "Yes, I'd love to come," and keep your word. If you have a tendency to sleep around, understand that your behavior may be the result of a search for an intimate connection with someone. The next time you have a desire to reach out to a friend with benefits, try connecting with a friend for a real conversation instead. Call a friend you trust and suggest meeting for coffee, for a drink, or for another activity where you can talk. Don't set other people up for disappointment. If you have no intention in pursuing a relationship with the other person, do not lead them on. Say you are talking to someone at a party. They say, "Hey, maybe we can get together sometime!" You know that you are not really attracted to the person and are not interested in pursuing a relationship. You could say, "I'm not really interested in dating right now, but thank you," or "That's so nice of you to offer, but I am working on some personal stuff right now." Often, people with commitment issues do not pursue people they really like because they are afraid of the rejection, as well as the potential for a relationship. Instead, commitment phobes often find themselves having flings with people with whom they share few common interests, or people with whom they do not see a future. Pursue a person with whom you share common values. If you want to develop a genuine relationship with someone, you need to make sure you share some common foundations upon which to build your relationship. These may be things like a shared culture or faith, the value you place on your careers or family, or character traits you both value in others. Take a risk and put yourself out there for the person you really like. While a "no" can be painful and feel like a setback, you will learn it is not the end of the world. See the setback as a chance to make yourself braver. If the person you are interested in is also interested in you, great! Have courage and move slowly, and let the person know you want to move slowly. You could say, "I really like you and want to get to know you better, but I have had some difficult times in the past. I hope you can respect that I want to take this slow for right now."