TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: pre - review note : seeing as the only concern of body shots is " sex " , i will be forced to refer to that particular act innumerable times throughout the duration of this review .
because of this , i will try to vary word descriptions of " sex " ( meaning if you are offended by pejorative terms , and \ or your name is jerry falwell , you are kindly invited to hit the x up on the left corner of your screen ) , so if there happens to be a word you come across and can not comprehend , fret not , it 's most likely just another way of referring to " sex " .
i think we 'd all agree that any word used incessantly becomes a bit monotonous
so i hope you appreciate my attempt to liven up what could potentially be a very boring review .
though not as boring as the movie which makes steve forbes flat tax plan seem as lively as watching a naked mathew mconaughy play the bongos while high on god knows what .
body shots is a film so frightened of coitus that scenes of copulation are filmed ominously , in the way you 'd normally expect to see a violent attack .
it 's about people who think about screwing , seek it out , and talk about it .
these are things we all do , sometimes .
the characters in this film spend every waking moment pondering the simplicities of sexual acts .
their lives center around the next sexual encounter , but they seemed depressed .
it 's as if fucking is all they have to look forward to after a busy workweek .
at its core body shots is a message movie , the kind of thing i could picture really progressive church groups showing to middle schoolers in order to turn them off coition .
michael cristoffer ( who directed gia , another film that treated bumping uglies as if it where evil ) is a moralist with nothing new to say .
his characters do n't communicate anything of interest to each other , so cristoffer gives them an opportunity to let out their inner thoughts by speaking directly into the camera .
they voice simplistic platitudes like " i like to come " or " sex without love equals violence " .
huh ?
and yes that is as complex as this movie 's observations get .
the characters are stupid and shallow , with not one registering as anything more .
the plot concerns vapid over sexed twentysomethings on an all night hunt for carnal pleasure , then the after math ( the morning after ) of such events .
we meet the characters as they speak directly to us , confiding in us with their idiotic ruminations on intimacy .
i would normally go into the characters and the actors who play them , giving you the pros and cons , but for this film i can not .
i 'm not trying to be clever or witty , but i honestly hardly remember anything that would set them apart from the others .
with the exception of trent ( played by ron livingston as a bargain basement patrick bateman ) , the rest fade into each other-- a patchwork of fake breasts , defined abs , pearly white teeth , and creamy , flawless skin .
i vaguely recall brad rowe as the sensitive one , only because his character gets the worst lines ( " sex without love equals violence " ) .
in between all the confessionals , cristoffer films everything like a headache commercial , with blurry slo mos and dramatic head turning .
the fact that this director at one point won a pulitzer prize completely baffles me .
this film is made without one iota of intelligence or insight into the generation that its tag line claims to be defining .
if body shots is meant to say that all twentysometyhings are idiotic and f * * k - obsessed , fine , i do n't have any problem with a film that tries to persuade me to think a certain way , but cristoffer only gives us one side .
additionally that one side is n't even entertaining ; the characters indulge in buggery without an ounce of sexiness . or realism .
one sexual encounter takes place outside a club on a chain link fence between the two most sensitive characters .
they suddenly have vigorous intercourse with each other for no apparent reason ( other than that they both happen to be standing next to each other ? ? ?
alas , if it could only be that easy ? ? ?
kidding of course ) , then , not only is n't it erotic , it is n't real .
it does n't feel like an authentic sexual encounter .
every f
*
* k scene in this film ( and there are many ) is treated in the same unsexy manner .
body shots makes fornication dirtier than the most scummy porno film .
it shows us none of the pleasure that should go along with it , and most of all , it fails to show us why its characters love making it so much if they seem to hate the act of actually doing it .
the resulting search for nookie ( and you can take that cookie ? ? ? )
over one night leaves us with several tedious plot lines to follow .
the main concern is much ado over a rape that may or may not have occurred .
the film shows us two separate versions of the possible rape ( one where it is consensual the other where it is not ) and in both versions the young actress playing the possible victim gets her shirt torn off .
this is a topic that could be interestingly explored if done intelligently , and if memory serves me i ca n't think of one film that has done so , and yes i saw the accused which may be one of the most overrated movies of the 80 's next to wall street .
unfortunately nobody gives us reason to care , not the writer , the director or the actors nearly all of whom seem to have wandered off the set of a noxious 90210 spin off .
paul thomas anderson approached boogie nights in a manner similar to what cristoffer does here , though boogie nights succeeded .
it was similarly moralistic , but it gave us two different viewpoints ; it showed us how the lifestyle of porn enticed its characters , and it showed us the possible fall - out of such a decision .
the characters in boogie nights were as idiotic as the characters are here , but anderson seemed to care about them .
he gave them heart .
cristoffer gives them nothing but raging hormones .
he preaches to us , by using his characters to preach to us .
this is not the way to get any message across .
why not just direct a public service announcement on the perils of hittin ' skins ?
cristofer kind of does that , though
without an ounce of insight , and with a helping of leering exploitation .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: the camera zooms in incredibly close .
it focuses on the closed eyes of a person presumed dead .
all of a sudden , with a thunderous sound effect and an eerie sounding musical pulse , his eyelids open .
the camera zooms in incredibly close .
it focuses on one of the characters desperately running for her life .
then , with a thunderous sound effect and an eerie sounding musical pulse , she bumps into the killer .
the camera zooms in incredibly close .
it focuses on a door from where seemingly strange sounds emanate .
all of a sudden , with a thunderous sound effect and an eerie sounding musical pulse , the doors swing open to reveal what 's inside .
close - up thrill - shots such as these seemed to elicit more laughter from the audience rather than genuine fear , which is a pretty good sign that you 're not watching the thriller that the director had originally envisioned
.
rather , you adopt the opinion that the characters are so goofy and
so unaware of the trouble that they 're in , that you stop caring
about who lives , who dies and where the story goes .
instead , you become more interested in how the characters get killed off .
the four young teenagers who are the potential sacrificial lambs for this movie are helen and barry and julie and ray - two couples and dear friends to one another .
during the summer just after high school graduation , they take a fateful drive down a dark mountain highway .
suddenly , without warning , their car hits someone whom the teens presume was killed as a result of that collision . fearing jail time and possible manslaughter charges if they confess , they instead decide to dump the body into the ocean and make a pact never to discuss the episode again .
a year goes by and things among the four friends begin to change .
relationships fizzle , future dreams crumble , and attitudes change .
but , they can not forget what they did .
and apparently , neither can someone else .
someone begins to send letters to all four of the teens with the frightening message : " i know what you did last summer .
"
the letter - writer ( a figure in a rubber slicker wielding a large metal hook ) soon makes his presence known and begins to hunt down the four teens .
it 's now up to the four of them to try to figure out who the killer is before it 's too late .
while this movie has some nice visually eerie effects , too much of it 's impact had to be generated with extreme close - ups , while the level of suspense was choppy at best .
there is so much more that this movie could have been , but decided to give us nothing but cheap thrills .
it could have been a clever whodunit , but discovering who ultimately was the killer made me just shrug my shoulders .
it could have explored the changed friendships after a year of adulthood , but seemed to only include that aspect to add 15 more minutes to the film .
it could have given us smarter characters who knew that anytime you 're alone and you see shadowy figures moving about , you do n't walk towards them yelling " hello " .
once you yell " hello " , you can expect an extreme close - up , a thunderous sound effect and an eerie sounding musical pulse .
it 's difficult to be in suspense when you know what 's about to happen .
the only redeeming aspect of the movie is that i now have a neat idea for a halloween costume , but i 'm not sure if the local costume store sells rubber slickers and hooks .
the horror that i experienced from this film is realizing that i actually went to see it .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: synopsis : rumored to be about a true person , the story of mulan has circulated in oral tradition for over a thousand years , and has inspired operas , literature , and even coinage .
( since 1984 , china has been issuing annual gold and silver coin sets commemorating famous historical figures ; the 1992 set includes mulan . ) in the ballad of mulan ( written in the 5th or 6th century ) , an imperial edict by the khan ( emperor ) orders men from each family to be drafted into the army to defend china .
a girl 's parents hear sighing , and think that their daughter mulan ( the name means magnolia ) is dreaming of boys , but actually she 's dreading what horrors might befall her old infirm father if he were to be drafted off to battle .
mulan bravely runs away , masquerading as a boy , to serve in the army instead of her father .
ten thousand miles and twelve years of brutal war later , the army finally returns in triumph .
the emperor wants to reward mulan 's valor with a prestigious position in government , but she declines , accepts a horse , and returns home quietly to don her true clothes .
mulan 's old army buddies visit and get the shock of their lives when they find out that mulan is actually a woman .
the disney animated feature mulan is similar to the ballad story , only it adds a modern character for comic relief : mushu the dragon ( eddie murphy ) .
in disney 's mulan , when a fierce army of invading huns threatens to overrun peaceful china the emperor orders one man from each family to be conscripted into the army .
old mr .
fa ( soon - tek
oh ) is handicapped and has no son ; he has only his spirited young daughter mulan ( ming - na wen ) .
fearing for her father 's life , the courageous mulan secretly cuts her hair , disguises herself as a man , and sneaks off to serve in the army in her father 's stead .
meanwhile mushu , the disgraced and demoted guardian dragon of the fa family , has been reduced to the size of a squirrel and the status of incense burner .
( his only duty is to ring a gong . )
mushu hits upon a plan to redeem himself and regain his guardian status by helping the disguised mulan to become a macho male warrior hero .
with the help of mushu , a horse , and a lucky cricket , can army recruit mulan save china and bring honor to the fa family ?
opinion :
east meets west .
i know a chef in santa fe that does this sort of magic ; he combines asian culinary influences from the west coast with latin american from down south and european from the atlantic to concoct new creations that hit just the right combination of flavors .
from their state of the art animation studio in orlando , disney is hoping to work the same kind of east / west magic with mulan .
i mean , what would you say if i told you that a new movie featured tang dynasty art , with donny osmond singing , ming - na wen acting , and eddie murphy playing a chinese dragon that makes pop references to batman and the reverend jessie jackson ?
yet this is the case in the disney 's re - interpretation of the familiar chinese classic .
the end result is spectacular ; mulan is one of disney 's best movies ever .
personally , i 'm also glad to see the detestable american stereotype of the weak - willed subservient asian woman take a beating : mulan is portrayed as a normal , if spirited , compassionate gal capable of taking the initiative .
mulan is more than just eastern graphics and faces combined with westernized pop and disney .
kids of any age will like the family themes , and will understand the good guys versus bad guys thing .
and adolescent and preteen girls can appreciate the romance factor , while the boys admire the battles .
and adults can admire those male / female nuances as well as the interplay between traditional notions of family , honor , and duty with industrial age notions of romantic love , gumption , and questioning .
but even the tiniest details reveal quality .
the movie 's art supervisors spent three weeks in china researching the right look : negative spaces , positive detail , period clothing , and graphic designs typical of the time and place .
computers were used for crowd scenes of up to 30 , 000 people , and a special program called ' attila ' was used for a spectacular sequence involving 2000 attacking huns on horseback . and singers osmond and salonga are at the top of their game .
balance is crucial .
a movie about a chuckling lone dragon played by eddie murphy might not be disney 's cup of tea , but if you use the character as a comic sidekick to balance a determined and spirited heroine , then , pow ! the dream team .
by the same token , a tale about a girl in the army might be a sober exercise in filial piety by itself , but toss the dragon in there
and you 've got enough wahoo individualism for a light hearted disney romp .
it 's rare that a movie can seamlessly combine elements from both east and west , old and young , male and female into a cohesive and entertaining whole , but mulan hits the universal bullseye
.
it 's movie for any age , creed , gender , or color .

SOLUTION:
P