Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: My friends and I rented this from Blockbuster because we saw Nana Visitor's name on the box. This movie is a travesty I hope she negates from her CV.

The "plot" was lose and flaccid, the acting was mostly dry and unbearable in some parts. The movie made no sense whatsoever. The rough plot of an alien parasite species that infects humans has been done many times by films with much better scripts than this, for example, invasion of the body-snatchers and The faculty.

If you ever have the misfortune to come across this movie, I suggest you burn it.

How it classes itself as a horror movie when there was no use of fear, suspense, gore, terror or any of the usual horror film techniques I don't know, however if you still find yourself wanting to watch this film I suggest you have a lot of sugar before hand, so you can find parts of it funny.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: This story is a complex and wonderful tale of the last Harem of the Ottoman empire, well told and provoking we see the inner workings of a world now gone, and learn about the people who lived there.

I enjoyed the story, characters, acting and scenes. A few scenes suffered from quick editing and the sub titles sometimes disappeared too quickly, otherwise a wonderful piece.

The main character Safiya is played wonderfully by Marie Gillain who I am pleased to say did a fantastic job without over doing it. The scenes with her and Alex Descas (Nadir) are charming and lovely.

I recommend this film for anybody looking to watch something less Hollywood and more authentic to the world they are emulating.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: As a huge fan of the original, I avoided this film like the plague when the bad reviews started coming in eight years ago, but I just finished watching this film and found it to be a really pleasant surprise.

Okay, if you are looking for a retread of the original, you're in for a big disappointment, but if you are looking for something quite different, a bit edgy and political, then this is the film for you.

Gregory is now thirty four and works as a teacher at his old comprehensive school, where he's being pursued by a fellow teacher and having sexual dreams about one of his students. When the student insists on meeting up with Gregory, a series of misadventures ensue that include torture, breaking and entering and all manner of unexpected twists and turns that left me feeling elated and moved.

If you are looking for something original, then I highly recommend this film. I only wish that more people had gone to see this when it was released and seen it for what it really is.

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer:
What can I say? I ignored the reviews and went to see it myself. Damn the reviews were so right. What a waste of money considering it's budget.

Good thing, I went to see Kill Bill after this one.

To see a really scary movie, would be Crossroads!

Bottom line-- I like "Girl in Gold Boots" better than this crap.