[Q]: Build a movie plot around this: What phobia had Jack developed? Dying
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[A]: From Richard Gale, mad maker of CRITICIZED, comes a film that will never have you looking at cutlery the same way again. Set-up as an epic-length trailer for an upcoming release, HORRIBLY SLOW... depicts a man's endless pursuit by what has got to be one of the most determined and patient murderers the screen has ever seen. Screamingly funny stuff, this is the rare case where the shine of an inspired over-the-top title is actually matched by the genius of the film itself. Stars Paul Clemens, who many of you will remember from 1982's THE BEAST WITHIN. Someone, get Gale funding for his feature. Now. [D-Man2010]Though the title says everything, I'll add a little bit more. In this "trailer" for a spurious nine-hour horror epic shot on five continents, we are told the story of a man being stalked by an immortal death machine bent on killing him... by clubbing him to death... with a SPOON!All the standard horror tropes are here - the terror around familiar objects, the attempts to run away, the attempts arm up and defeat the foe, ridiculous gore courtesy of a circular saw, etc, etc, etc, again and again and again. I hope Mr. Gale (the writer/director/producer/editor) gets the money to make a proper horror comedy feature, and quick, because this positively redefines "over-the-top" and is one of the most hilarious things I've seen in a long time. [D-Man2010]The epic story of one man's encounter with what could be the most relentless murderer of all time.The Evening Class - Structured as a 10-minute trailer for a soon-to-open film, The Horribly Slow Murderer With the Extremely Inefficient Weapon had its world premiere at Austin's Fantastic Fest where it was included in a block of horror shorts with titles like Road and Snip, serving to make the title of Gale's film effectively stand out by contrast.It was shot in about two and a half months, shooting on weekends, roughly 22 days of shooting. About halfway through the shoot Gale asked himself, "What the hell am I doing?" It was a short film that "metastasized into a...

[Q]: Build a movie plot around this: What is his nickname? Thumbprint Killer
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[A]: Earl Brooks (Kevin Costner) is an upstanding business owner and family man, recently honored as the Portland, Oregon Chamber of Commerces Man of the Year (the movie itself was filmed in Shreveport, Louisiana). In his secret life, Brooks is a serial killer, encouraged by his id, manifested as a gleefully sadistic alter ego he refers to as "Marshall" (William Hurt) whom only Brooks can see or hear (conversely, no one can hear him talk to Marshall). While he has refrained from killing for the last two years, Brooks feels the urge rising once again and, spurred on by Marshall, murders a couple in their home. Despite killing them before noticing that their curtains are open, Brooks follows his meticulous modus operandi, cleaning up the crime scene (and later cleaning the car he drove to the murder scene and burning his clothes and pictures he took of the victims) before departing. As part of his pathology, he leaves each of the victims' bloody thumbprints on a lampshade.The next day Brooks attends his weekly meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, where he vaguely reveals his addiction without elaborating on the nature. Soon afterwards, his daughter Jane (Danielle Panabaker) returns home, having abruptly dropped out of college. She goes on to visit Brooks' business and mentions that she would like get a job with his company so it can "stay in the family." Jane eventually reveals that she's pregnant. Even more worrisome is the appearance of a man who calls himself Mr. Smith (Dane Cook), a peeping tom who photographed Brooks at the scene of the previous day's crime. Blackmailing him, Mr. Smith demands to accompany Mr. Brooks on his next murder.They both grow nervous over Portland Detective Tracy Atwood (Demi Moore), chief investigator of the "Thumbprint Killer" case. Brooks hacks into Atwood's personal file and financial records; it turns out that she is an heiress worth more than $60,000,000, who could have gone into the family business but became successful in her own chosen profession. Brooks comes to admire Atwood,...

[Q]: Build a movie plot around this: Who plays Colin? Kevin McKidd
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[A]: One Halloween night, Tom Bailey (Patrick Dempsey) dressed as Bill Clinton goes to slip into bed with his pre-arranged date "Monica", but it was the wrong woman. Instead it was "Monica's" roommate Hannah (Michelle Monaghan). After bantering which each other, they become instant friends for Tom likes her honesty and how she doesn't fling herself at him.Ten years later we see Tom, very wealthy because of his creation of the "coffee collar" (gets a dime every time it is used) and leaving the bed of another girl. A different one every every night for one of his rules is "no back to backs except for Sundays and Mondays for they are a different week". After picking up two lattes at Starbucks and another phone number, Tom meets up with Hannah at a museum where she is a painter, and the two have lunch.Tom takes Hannah to his father's sixth wedding to a young girl who has more boobs than brains and after the reception Hannah tells Tom she must go to Scotland for work. While she's gone for those long agonizing months, Tom discovers that without her, and being with other women over and over is not very fulfilling. He soon realizes that he is in love with Hannah. During a basketball game he tells his friends his realization and get typical neanderthal responses from them, but decides to tell her his feelings after all when she gets back. However, after meeting up with Hannah at a restaurant, Hannah surprises Tom by introducing to him a wealthy Scotsman named Colin (Kevin McKidd) and announces that they are engaged, and incredibly asks Tom to be her "maid" of honor.After discussing it with his friend, Tom decides to be her maid of honor after all just to spend time with her. After meeting her pastor he tries to convince her she does not even know Colin and make her realize that she loves him but to no avail. Later they meet up with the other bridesmaids, one of them being Hannah's cousin and a bitter ex fling, who passes Tom a business card for entertainment for the shower. Later at the shower the business card was...

[Q]: Build a movie plot around this: What do the children hide in their pockets? the stones.
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[A]:
After being murdered by a burglar, a couple return as spirits to care for their two young children. They also seek revenge against their murderer and try to prevent their house from being demolished.Mary and Roberto Valdi (Lubka Cibolo and Pascal Persiano) return home from a party to find a masked intruder ransacking their elegant country house. The masked man attacks and brutally kills both of them, and then disguises their deaths as an auto accident by driving their dead bodies to an isolated hilltop in their own car and pushing it over the edge. (The murder scene is incredibly graphic and gory for a TV movie, but strangely the remainder of the film is very tame, almost like a Spielberg movie suitable for kids.)At their parents funeral, bereaved children Sarah (Ilary Blasi) and Marco (Giuliano Gensini) exhibit a strange mixture of grief and stifled hilarity, chewing gum whilst weeping and giggling at the elderly priest (Dante Fioretti) conducing the graveside ceremony. The children's Aunt Marcia, Mary Valdi's younger sister (Cinzia Monreale) and Uncle Carlo, her husband (Jean Christophe Bretigniere), decide to stay with the children at the Valdi house while arrangements are made to sell the property. When Carlo is called away on business, Marcia spends an uneasy night at the Valdi house without him. Disturbed during the night, she explores the attic and is frightened by a giant toy fly which seems to attack her.Over the next few days, Sarah and Marco are adamant that they wish to continue living at the house and are openly hostile to Mr. Colby (Franco Diogene), the real estate agent whom Carlo brings to the house. When the overweight Mr. Colby suffers an accident at the house after falling down a flight of stairs, the children laugh maliciously. Meanwhile, the Valdi's gardener Guido (Lino Salemme) watches over the events with suspicion. A flashback recalled by Guido reveals that he was the masked intruder who broke into the house to rob it, only to be surprised when his employers returned sooner than...