Summarize the following:
Once you're calm and can speak without anger, you'll need to sit down with your friend to discuss what happened. Remember that you should not be hostile or confrontational. Simply sit down alone together and speak directly about what happened. Make sure you are completely calm when you sit down with your friend to discuss the incident. Tell your friend that what he said was hurtful. Don't use declarative, absolute statements. Instead use "I" statements, such as "I felt really insulted when you said that about me" or "I felt like you were being very disrespectful by saying that." It's possible that you may not have noticed your friend engaging in his hurtful/damaging behavior in the past. It's also very likely that your friend has never noticed it, or is not aware of it. There are many forms of hurtful behavior, but six main categories cover some of the most common types that you should recognize and be aware of: character assassinations - generalizations used to depict or define someone as always being bad/undesirable threats of abandonment - using hurtful, threatening statements to imply disinterest or abandonment in order to make someone else feel worthless invalidations - generalizations used to invalidate someone else's thoughts, feelings, or beliefs threats of exile - telling someone else directly that you do not want them in your life (similar to threats of abandonment, but even more damaging/insulting) hostile challenges - questioning someone else's ability to think, feel, or behave in a given way (including excessive and frequent sarcasm) preaching - attempting to use an absolute, unquestionable source/hierarchy to prove a point and put someone else down Whether your friend repeatedly hurts you with actions or with mean, hateful words, the result is the same: embarrassment, resentment, and alienation. If you recognize any of the patterns of hurtful behavior in your friend, let him know the first time it happens (or the first time you recognize it as such) that what he did is not okay. Assess your surroundings. If there's a chance your friend might resort to physical acts of violence, or if others may join him against you, do not confront him then and there. Recognize that repeated incidents of hurtful behavior scar your relationship, and the more often it happens the worse you'll feel towards the other person. Ask your friend how he would feel if someone he values (for example, his parents, his spiritual leader, etc.) were to see him engaging in his current behavior. Would he be embarrassed? Point out other times that your friend has engaged in this hurtful behavior, preferably once he's calmed down. Let him know that you see it as a pattern of bad behavior, and that he needs to change if he wants to remain friends. If it happens again, remind your friend that you've talked to him about his behavior. Let him know that you won't passively condone his behavior, and tell him that as his friend you need him to address these issues. Dialogue is important in conflict resolution. You can't just talk at your friend about how rude he was, just as you wouldn't want him to continue talking at you without any chance to respond. Give your friend a chance to explain himself, and be open to what he has to say. Your friend may have spoken from a place of pain, and probably didn't mean what he said. Or it's possible that it was a complete misunderstanding, and that your friend didn't intend his words to be taken that way to begin with. Let your friend process what you've said, give his own response, and trust that he will change his behavior going forward. As you address your friend's behavior, it's important to remain compassionate as best you can. After all, the person is still your friend, and you most likely have a long history together. Give your friend the benefit of the doubt, and try not to hold any anger towards him. Don't ignore hurtful comments/actions, but address them calmly and compassionately. Remember that many people who hurt others do so because they themselves are hurting or frightened. When you keep that in perspective, it's easier to feel bad for someone who's hurt you. If someone has hurt you, you may be thinking about cutting that person out of your life altogether. But experts warn that that may be an extreme reaction to an incident of hurt feelings. Only you can decide whether you'll be able to move past the hurt, but most people find that with a little time and patience all can be forgiven. Unless your friend did something devastating or life-shattering (like an act of physical violence or real emotional abuse), you may want to consider reconciling with your friend. Recognize symptoms of emotional abuse: if your friend swears/yells at you, bullies you, degrades you, threatens you, or controls you, he is engaging in emotional abuse. You should not stand to be emotionally abused by anyone, especially not a friend or partner. If your friend engages in or threatens you with acts of violence, stay away from him, as he may be dangerous. If you truly believe that your friend will not be able to correct his behavior, and that he will continue to hurt you without regard for your feelings, you may need to think about ending the friendship. Give this decision time. Just as you avoided speaking in the heat of the moment, you should give yourself a few days before saying anything if you're thinking about ending the friendship. Avoiding your friend for a few days may be enough for you to realize that you value his friendship and want to make amends. Give it time, and talk over your plan with a trusted friend or relative before talking to the friend who hurt you.

summary: Address the behavior directly. Recognize patterns of hurtful behavior. Confront repeated behavior. Let your friend respond. Remain compassionate. Decide if the friendship can stand.

Summarize the following:
Depending on the girl, she may not be thrilled to be asked out in front of her friends, family, or in a really public situation. Try to gauge her embarrassment level and what she's into, and create an ask that will appeal to her! Keep it short and simple with something along the lines of, "Will you go out with me?" Then, you can figure out a creative way to get the note to her so its' a surprise! For example, offer her a piece of gum that's wrapped in a note with your question written on it. Alternatively, you might try slipping the note into one of her notebooks so she sees it when she gets to class. If you're good friends, try recording the time you spend together in a notebook. As you get to know her more, you'll write more entries expressing your feelings. Once you're ready to ask her out, write it in the journal and present it to her. Write a note on a blank page that says, "There are 40 more pages in this journal. The first 19 pages were our memories from my perspective. I'd like the remaining to be memories from our perspective. Be mine?" If you don't know her very well, this may come across as a bit creepy, so make sure she'd like this ask! Just take her phone when she's not looking and change your name in her contacts to "Be My Girlfriend," and put a cute image of a baby animal as your picture. Give her the phone back and call her. Only do this if you know that she won't be put off by you sneaking into her phone.
summary: Read the situation so you don't embarrass her. Write a note to let her know you'd appreciate her company if she's more private. Use a journal to ask her out romantically. Steal her phone to ask her out.