Problem: This review is like what?

Review:This is the kind of film one watches in gape-jawed, horrified silence, and yet continues to watch, mesmerized, as if watching a train wreck in slow motion. And yet, in the back of your mind, thoughts are churning: "Who on EARTH green-lighted this garbage?"

Some of the preceding user comments say things like, "A good way to introduce children to Laurel and Hardy" -- an insult to children everywhere. That children would need some sort of training plan to learn to love slapstick comedy shows a profound misunderstanding of the nature of children the world over. Others have commented on the faithfulness of the two stars' characterizations of Laurel and Hardy to which I would respond: so WHAT? One would think that the rash of movie BOMBS based on beloved series (Rocky and Bullwinkle, Avengers, Flipper, Mod Squad, ad nauseam) would have taught Hollywood that there are some things that simply can't be recreated. The films of Laurel and Hardy are readily available on video: why bother with this?

As for F. Murray Abraham, a fine actor of stage and screen... well, all I can say is, he must have been in trouble with the IRS.

Run, don't walk, away from the television if this trash comes on!
+++++++++
A: negative

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:Although I'm grateful this obscure gem of 70's Italian exploitation cinema features in the recently released "Grindhouse Experience" box set, and although it's also available on disc under the misleading and stupid alternate title "Escape from Death Row", I honestly think it deserves a proper and luxurious DVD edition, completely in its originally spoken languages with subtitle options (the dubbing is truly horrible), restored picture quality and a truckload of special bonus features! Heck, I don't even need the restored picture quality and bonus features if only we could watch the film in its original language. "Mean Frank and Crazy Tony" is a cheerfully fast-paced mafia/crime flick with a lot of violence, comedy (which, admittedly, doesn't always work), feminine beauty and two witty main characters. Tony Lo Bianco is terrific as the small thug pretending to be the city's biggest Don. When the real crime lord Frankie Dio (Lee Van Cleef) arrives in town, he sees an opportunity to climb up the ladder by offering his services. Frankie initially ignores the little crook, but they do eventually form an unlikely team when Frankie's entire criminal empire turns against him and a new French criminal mastermind even assassinates Frankie's innocent brother. Tony helps Frankie to escape from prison and together they head for Marseille to extract Frankie's revenge. The script of this sadly neglected crime gem funnily alters gritty action & suspense with light-headed bits of comedy, like the grotesque car chase through the narrow French mountain roads for example. The build up towards the typical mafia execution sequences (guided by an excellent Riz Ortolani score) are extremely tense and the actual killings are sadistic and merciless, which is probably why the film is considered to be somewhat of a grindhouse classic. The film lacks a strong female lead, as the lovely and amazingly voluptuous beauty Edwige Fenech sadly just appears in a couple of scenes, and then still in the background. On of the men behind the camera, responsible for the superb cinematography, was no less then Joe D'Amato. Great film, highly recommended to fans of Italian exploitation, and I hope to watch it again soon in its original version.
+++++++++
A: positive

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:I make just one apology for this film: there are far, far, too many wide angle close-ups, and if they irritate you beyond endurance, fair enough. They drove ME barmy for the first ten minutes or so. But after that I made a kind of a truce with the terrible cinematography; and long before the end of the film, I had ceased to care. This is too rich a comedy to be destroyed so easily. It's hilarious, it's witty, the comic delivery of ALL of the cast is flawless, and however much Usher peers at his characters through a cold, fish-eye lens - HE may not care for them much - he manages to present them with warmth. 'Mystery Men' is, in fact, not only funnier, not only more clever, but also deeper, than anyone seems to have given it credit for being. The jokes in the Austin Powers movies, for instance, as well as being less funny than the jokes here, are also much more toothless. The satire of 'Mystery Men' bites when there's something worth biting and gnaws gently when there isn't. It doesn't mock just any old thing. Which is why, contrary to what some (I must regard them as unobservant) critics have said, it never runs out of ideas.

The 'super' heroes are an attractive bunch. Sure, they're second-rate, but they're not merely second rate. The Blue Rajah, for instance, does nothing but throw cutlery at people, and he isn't THAT good at it. On the other hand, neither is he comically bad. He's better in his limited field than most people, and he DOES practise diligently. He's not a buffoon, which makes him a much funnier character than if he was. If Superman is Christ in a cape, the Mystery Men are all the minor demigods from the foothills of Mount Olympus, in capes. Much funnier; also much more endearing.
+++++++++
A: positive

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:Confounding melodrama taken from a William Gibson story, produced by John Houseman and directed by Vincente Minnelli! Richard Widmark heads up posh, upscale rural nervous asylum, where his loose wife battles with self-appointed queen bee Lillian Gish, and Widmark himself gets the straying eye for staff-newcomer Lauren Bacall, who is putting her life back together after the death of her husband and child. Facetious and muddled, set in an indiscriminate time and place, and with a "David and Lisa" love story hidden in the plush morass. Widmark and Bacall do have some good chemistry together, but this script gives them nothing to build on. For precisely an hour, most of the dialogue concerns what to do about the drapes hanging in the library (this thread isn't used as symbolism, rather it's a red herring in a non-mystery!). The picture hopes to show the loggerheads that disparate people come to when they're working in the same profession and everyone thinks their opinion is right, but unfortunately the roundabout way Minnelli unravels this stew is neither informative, enlightening nor entertaining. ** from ****
+++++++++
A:
negative