Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: Orca starts as crusty Irish sea captain Nolan (Richard Harris) & his crew are trying to capture a Great White Shark so they can sell it for big bucks, unfortunately when a hapless marine biologist called Ken (Robert Carradine) comes under attack from it the Shark is killed by a Killer Whale, this raises Nolan's interest in Killer Whales & decides he want's to catch one of them instead. However while trying to do so he catches a pregnant female & injuries it to the extent she aborts her unborn foetus on deck which makes a mess & enrages her mate, Nolan orders the Whale be dumped back in the sea which is what happens. The male Killer Whale is annoyed to say the least & kills one of Nolan's crew before they reach the dry land of Newfoundland in Canada, once there the Killer Whale conducts a series of attacks on the town & it's people in an effort to lure Nolan back out to sea for a fight to the death...

Directed by Michael Anderson I thought this blatant rip-off was terrible, I'm sorry but I thought it was just plain ridiculous & utterly dull even at a modest 90 odd minutes. The script by producer Luciano Vincenzoni & Sergio Donati is so stupid I'm lost for words, the fact that it seems to take itself very seriously doesn't help & if I have to listen to Charlotte Rampling go on about how intelligent Killer Whale's are just one more time I'll scream. I'm sorry but I simply don't believe a Killer Whale is intelligent enough to know who any particular boat belongs to & sink it, I don't believe a Killer Whale can cause a huge explosion including knocking an oil lantern from a wall on the opposite side it hits as there is no way on earth it could know it was there, I don't believe a Killer Whale can identify someone's house, know someone is in there & then wreck it on purpose, I don't believe a Killer Whale can move icebergs around in order to trap a boat, I don't believe Killer Whales can physically recognise people & I don't believe it has any revenge instincts or at least none that are as strong as this dumb film makes out. Maybe I'm being a bit harsh, I mean it's only a film after all but it's a film which is trying to be serious & things just got so ridiculous that I was half expecting the Killer Whale to write a letter to Nolan to tell him his plan & hand (or should that be fin?) deliver it, the thing seemed intelligent enough to do just about anything else. They should have asked it to come up with a cure for the common cold! Seriously, that's a statement that's no more far fetched than anything else in this film. I found the film very boring, totally dull & had awful character's with no on screen presence at all. It goes without saying this is a Jaws (1975) rip-off which doesn't even come close to Spielberg's classic.

Director Anderson is no Spielberg that's for sure, this rubbishy film has absolutely no suspense, scares, tension or atmosphere at all. All the attack scenes are as dull as dishwater & totally forgettable, there's no build up to them & virtually no pay off either as Orca doesn't get to eat a single person. Then there's the scenes which literally had me laughing, the shots of the Killer Whale appearing to cry are pure comedy & the opening scenes of the two Killer Whales I suspect tried to show them as a 'loving' & 'caring' couple but I couldn't help but think that this is the closest we'll ever get to Killer Whale porn, hilarious stuff. The footage of the Killer Whales themselves is bland & boring, instead of footage which matches & enhances the scenes around it it just looks like dreary wildlife documentary footage that has little connection to anything else. Do you get the impression that I don't like this film? Good. Forget about any gore or decent deaths either, there's a brief scene when Bo Derek has her legs bitten off but blink and you'll miss it.

This probably had quite a big budget & it still sucks, there's nothing outstanding about Orca, it's well made I suppose but flat, bland & totally forgettable. The cinematography is quite nice though. The acting is bad, Rampling is awful & the late Harris' Irish accent is embarrassing.

Orca is a lame Jaws rip-off which completely ignores or messes up everything that made Spielberg's film so good, this is one for bad movie lovers everywhere. Definitely not recommended although not quite as bad as Jaws: The Revenge (1987).

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: A number of factors make it easy for me to state that I still think this is the most important science fiction film ever made, despite some of the acting, outdated dialogue etc.

First, there is the scale of imagination in describing the Krell, a humanoid race native to the planet, now all dead, who were 1 million years more advanced than Earth humans(us), and their technology, particularly the 8,000 cubic mile machine.

Second, there is the music and sound effects, which are inseparable from each other. It creates an eerie, unearthly feeling, unlike "2001", which had traditional classical music.

Third, its "monster" is not only the most powerful and deadly ever envisioned, it's also based on real science and doesn't break the laws of physics and biology.

Finally, and most importantly, Forbidden Planet is the only movie ever made that attempts and, more incredibly, succeeds in making an honest, intelligent and mercilessly logical statement on the limits or ceiling of human (or any other biological entity's) development, no matter how long we survive as a species.

In other words, it predicts our inevitable destiny.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: College girl Joanne Murray takes on the unenviable job of readying the student housing building to become apartments,which includes selling the unneeded furniture This takes place during a break,so a mysterious psycho is stalking the nearly-empty premises on campus."Dorm that Dripped Blood" is a low-budget slasher flick that is quite entertaining.The acting is pretty bad,the plot is predictable,but the gore effects are quite good.The film was made by UCLA film students Stephen Carpenter and Jeffrey Obrow for next to nothing.Soon a dreamy ambiance kicks in,very similar to the enveloping forests of Jeff Leiberman's fantastic "Just Before Dawn".7 out of 10.It's great to see Daphne Zuniga of "The Initiation" fame run over few times by a car.

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer:
MAKE A 0 YOU SACKS OF German STAPLES! well, when i started to watch this sack of crud, it was a Sunday afternoon, and i was just looking for stuff on show time. I was introduced to a hot naked babe, and like any guy (im a guy, the e-mail is my sisters...) i was happy. But then they threw it all to the dogs, spit on it, lit it on fire, and peed it out. You wanna know how? THE DUMB CHICK TALKED! The dialog throughout the film was just horrible. sounded like something my 2nd grade bro could wright. The violence was nice for some scenes, but some was just totally moronic. The scene in the pit were he gives the guy the knife... dumb moron! To sum it up, this is pure cinema barf drenched in the chocolate syrup known as nudity, and topped with the cherry of horrible acting as only a porn star could deliver.