Problem: This review is like what?

Review:Seriously, I absolutely love these old movies and their simplicity but I just watched this for the first time last night and it easily slotted itself into my bottom five of all time. Was this supposed to be about the love story or the zombies??? This movie was so bad that after it mercifully ended all I could do is laugh at how ridiculously bad it really was. Thankfully I'm too anal to turn a movie off without seeing the entire thing or I wouldn't be able to brag about watching this all the way through in one sitting! I like to think something positive can be said about anything in life so in keeping with that theory I will acknowledge this film's most positive asset, it was very short for a full length film.
+++++++++
A: negative

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:This time we get a psycho toy maker named "Joe Petto" (get it?) who makes living, evil toys that kill people. He goes after the family who has the bad luck of just simply living in the same house where he and his mutant robot son "Pino" (again, get it?) used to live.

Easily the worst (and hopefully [presumably] the last) in this semi - series, this one and the previous one look like soft core porn movies, but without the sex and nudity. It's kind of like a low rent hybrid of "Halloween III", "Puppet Master", "Dolls" and bad home movies. Supposedly in 2000 they started to do a sixth chapter in the series, but it was abandoned and never completed. We can all only hope that it stays that way...

1/2 a star out of ****

+++++++++
A: negative

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:This is one of my favourite martial arts movies from Hong Kong. It is one of John Woo's earliest films and one of only a few traditional martial arts movies he directed. You can see his influences from working under Chang Cheh in this film. The action is good, the fight choreography is conducted by Fong Hak On who appears as one of the bad guys in the movie. It stars Wei Pei of "Five Venoms" fame and a whole host of faces familiar to fans of Golden Harvest and Shaw Brothers productions. The story line is interesting, there are a few decent plot twists and the build up of the characters and their relationships with each other is cleverly done. This film has only had a VHS release in the UK. Media Asia have released a region 3 DVD and there are versions of it on DVD available from the USA. The film is lovely to watch in either it's original language or in it's English dubbed version. I highly recommend this movie.
+++++++++
A: positive

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:For me this is Ealing Studio's most perfect film - as fresh and relevant half a century later as it was the day it was released.

As a satire on economic notions of 'growth' and the commercial need for in-built obsolescence, it could scarcely be more up-to-the-minute. And of what other film can it be said that the hero literally wears the plot?

Oddly, there are parallels with Jurassic Park, in which messing with the environment will literally turn round and bite you. But Spielberg shied away from the book's brilliant central conceit to tack on some nonsense about 'children'. Hmmm.

In The Man In The White Suit, Alec Guiness plays an idealistic young scientist who comes up with a cloth that never gets dirty and never wears out. Suddenly workers and capital at the northern English mill where he is working are united as never before in protection of their livelihoods.

Of course, being Ealing, it's a comedy, but it needn't have been. The complex interplay of vested (should that be suited?) interests plays out beautifully, as one by one all parties realize that 'progress' is a threat, and that disposability and waste are what keep the looms turning.

But, yes, this is a comedy - albeit a pointed one - and amid the political ironies are delicious performances, and some good old-fashioned knock-about laughs.

Nonetheless, it's the biting satire that endures - dazzling and white.
+++++++++
A:
positive