Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: Aw man. Really? Disappoint. Service was wildly slow, and considering there were fewer than ten tables of guests at any give point during the entire time we were there, yeah service was lacking. No excuses, this was the worst. Took us way too long to even be acknowledged by a server who never really greeted us. More of "here's bread. what do you want. k. brb" kind of service. There was also a busser who never said a word and a runner who more or less rolled his eyes when food hit the table. Really not great. And the food isn't doing it any favors either. We started with the calamari, which is Italian for salty octopus parts (or at least from my experience here, it must be). The tentacles are always my favorite and they were overly crispy to the point of being burned. There wasn't much redeeming about it. Then after the salty sea, we split the spaghetti and meatballs. The meatballs were the tiniest meatballs I've ever seen, and in comparison the ikea meatballs were WAY more juicy and meaty. So I mean, like, it's do-able, I just don't get why this restaurant couldn't keep up. C'mon guys, step your game up. Our server could not care less about us and I could not think less of the food. Just overall, avoid this. Not good.

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A: I love this place! The bacon martini is interesting to say the least, and the ass-juice kicks ass! I live in Chicago and discovered the DD back in 2009 and go back every time I'm in Vegas. The jukebox is killer, and they get some great bands in there. I love the dive feel and the cool people that show up. Great place, go there!

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A:
I came here with my sister for a girly pamper-me day. We took advantage of the $39 hour long massages. There's no catch to the price, but you only get to use that rate once and they tell you about their membership options. No pressure to join. The interior is simple and calming. The masseuses were professional. My massage was extremely relaxing. Payment was swift and easy. All in all, a very relaxing, enjoyable experience.