polsci/sentiment-polarity-dataset-v2.0 huggingface dataset:
it's always a bad sign when the core audience of a film -- children -- are either walking out early or are half-asleep when the credits roll at the end of a film . 
that about sums up the dreadful ugliness of 102 dalmatians , a cold pea soup of cute animals , stupid home alone antics , a boring puppy love subplot between dumb humans , and glenn close reprising her best joan crawford impression . 
indeed , walt disney is rolling over in his grave again , cursing john hughes' name for making the original live-action 101 dalmatians , one of the worst kiddie flicks of all time , and now its sequel . 
the main culprit behind the hideousness of 102 dalmatians is its predecessor , 101 dalmatians . 
the original made more than $100 million dollars at the box office , spawned a torrid collection of " collectible " items that ended up months later in the discount bins of wal-marts across the country , and generally made every kid on the planet want a damn dalmatian pup for christmas . 
well , it's been about four years since then , and dalmatian fever is coming back , and this time it's digitally enhanced . 
here's the story . 
cruella de vil ( glenn close ) is released from prison due to the " cure " of her puppy homicide urges by one dr . pavlov . 
 ( oh , how witty . ) 
she rejoins the world as a dog lover and is assigned to a probation officer , who oddly turns out to be her victim from the original film . 
cruella then becomes ella -- dog lover -- until the plot twists , like a dog with his leash caught on the back of a moving truck , and she becomes the evil vixen again . 
a kidnapping plot unfurls again as cruella decides she still needs her dalmatian coat , but she now needs 102 dalmatians instead of the commonly used 101 dalmatian formula . 
at this point , i was envying those kids filing out of the theater . 
how low have glenn close and gerard depardieu ( as the film's villain ) sunk in the film business ? 
it's almost laughable in a sadistic way to watch close walk around in costumes that seem to be pulled from the wardrobe of flash gordon . 
and depardieu . . . 
how can a french guy have a bad french accent ? 
and never mind the toilet brush haircut . 
the only minutely positive selling point i can even think to point out is the talking bird with a british accent ( courtesy of eric idle ) that thinks he's a rottweiler . 
now that's funny .
" the animal " is a marginally inspired comedy that only manages to lumber along , generating just enough momentum to keep it from stalling . 
it's clunky and slow , like watching an 18-wheeler trying to accelerate up a hill . 
there are certainly better things you can do with your time . 
actually , if you've seen the trailer , then you already know the plot and have seen its funniest moments . 
the story centers on bland marvin ( rob schneider ) , who is an evidence clerk at the local police department that yearns to be a real officer . 
but he's afflicted with loser-itis . 
dogs attack him , neighbors torment him , children bully him , and his co-workers ignore him . 
truthfully , with his bad haircut ( seemingly modeled after weird al yankovic , little richard , and giant poodles ) and his unenthusiastic demeanor , we'd probably throw tomatoes at him just for fun . 
this is actually bad because you can't like a character if you can't develop sympathy for him . 
we never do , and it may be just as well that he drives off a cliff and plummets to the canyon floor . 
however , marvin is found by an eccentric doctor ( michael caton ) who uses a radical and experimental procedure to save him , implanting our doofus with various animal parts and organs . 
as a result , marvin develops heightened senses and increased agility and speed . 
he can smell drugs hidden anywhere on a body , swim with the speed of a dolphin , and can run as fast as a cheetah . 
imagine the comedic possibilities that arise from this operation . 
with his enhanced abilities , he could now reap vengeance on all those who have shunned him . 
however , the spirit of the film takes a raunchy turn , and instead , marvin spends most of his time trying to subdue or satiate his voracious appetite and his animalistic , sexual urges . 
goats beware ! 
he also chases cats , urinates to mark his territory , or growls at his enemies . 
what he should've done was stick his head in the sand like an ostrich . 
equally tenuous is its other running joke , which involves one of his friends ( guy torry ) who constantly complains that everyone is treating him too nicely because he's black . 
 " it's reverse racism , " he declares as he blows smoke into the faces of strangers but none of them says anything . 
this element doesn't work the first time it's mentioned , and it becomes increasingly trite with every recurrence . 
you don't have to be as wise as an owl to realize that " the animal " is tame . 
if there's any reason to see this film , it's to see colleen haskell who makes her big screen debut . 
remember her ? 
she was voted off in week 11 of the 13-week program , " survivor . " 
here , she plays marvin's sunny love interest . 
while her role required very little actual acting , she seemed very comfortable ( even when marvin licks the side of her face like a lapping dog . . . yuck ! ) . 
with her adorable disposition , radiant smile , and playful innocence , she could be a meg ryan in the making . 
it's too bad that she's in such a mediocre offering
" houston . we have a serious problem . " 
after making " mission : impossible " , brian de palma has a lot to live up to . 
by making an epic science fiction and inviting great cast and talented crew , he hopes to reach the modern audience . 
and the possibilities are certainly there , but the result is a great disaster . 
starting in a near future , with a prologue copied from " apollo 13 " , de palma slowly builds up his " story " . 
the human race has already set foot on mars . 
a research expedition has vanished without trace on the red planet and another one has been sent to find out what happened . 
this is basically the whole plot . 
so it's hard to imagine that it can be stretched to 2 hours . 
but de palma manages to do that . 
it is not a very good achievement . 
as we follow this expedition to mars and watch them slowly float in space , the hardest thing to do is stay awake . 
the film's major problem is that it tries to seem more clever than it is . 
david mamet's dialogue , while trying to seem natural , is distant and simply fake . 
de palma and mamet wanted to combine action with a thought provoking plot . 
the result is more like an unsuccessful mutation of kubrick's " 2001 : a space odyssey " , " apollo 13 " and " godzilla " . 
to make time pass , the creators have inserted several " refreshing " scientific details , that would not convince a half-crazed frog . 
it consists of multiple copies and direct ripp-offs from several great science fiction films and stories . 
when it finally presents an almost original idea , it falls flat because of its uncovered stupidity . 
i can't even call this film predictable , since no one with a healthy imagination can come up with something like this . 
sometimes it gets so cheesy , that you'll start laughing when you're supposed to cry and cry when you're supposed to laugh . 
you'll see enormous sandstorms , hear mysterious sounds and , last but not least , on this " constantly surprising " tour you'll see -- an alien . 
it's really hard to find comparisons to such an experience , and i know that i've never said that before ( i thought i never would ) , but " lost in space " is actually better . 
that's an achievement in itself ! 
director brian de palma has stroke gold with " untouchables " that became an instant american classic . 
it is for this film that he will be remembered , while all his other failures will be forgotten . 
he'll live to fight another day ! 
i send the actors my condolences , since they truly do try to transform into their undeveloped and dull characters . 
and both the cinematography , production design and art direction are very decent . 
it is because of the achievement of 254 people , that i rate this film 2/10 . 
unfortunately their hard work was in vain . 
if you have problems with insomnia , i recommend you this film . 
if you're not asleep within the first half hour , consult your doctor .
young einstein is embarrassingly lame , but that didn't stop it from becoming a phenomenon in australia , where it became the third largest box office hit of all time . 
in the u . s . , warner brothers is hoping the movie will follow in the footsteps of paul hogan , inxs , and shrimp on the barby to become the latest rage from down under . 
personally , i'm hoping americans everywhere will rise to the occasion and make young einstein a box office bomb . 
young einstein sprang from the twisted mind of yahoo serious , who not only wrote , produced , edited , and directed the film , but also starred and did his own stunts . 
his creation is about as stupid and contrived as you'd expect from someone named yahoo . 
the movie takes substantial historical liberties in recreating einstein's youth . 
whereas the scientist actually hailed from germany , the film finds him still living with his parents on tasmania , a remote australian island . 
in addition to deriving the formula for energy and the theory of relativity , albert invents surfing , bubbles in beer , and the electric guitar . 
yahoo plays einstein as a naive and unrefined country hick--a clown with an insatiable curiosity . 
although yahoo's performance is at first endearing , the one-dimensional characterization loses its novelty faster than you can say e=mc2 . 
yahoo has created a charming family for albert , and the scenes on tasmania are often clever . 
but after the first twenty minutes , the movie quickly plummets and degenerates into a poor excuse for a comedy . 
young einstein is hampered by its lethargic pace and inane plot . 
yahoo must be an mtv addict because his movie features an omnipresent soundtrack ; unfortunately , the music is altogether gratuitous and quickly becomes overbearing . 
almost every other scene includes a blaring rock song that leaves you wondering whether you are watching a movie or a music video . 
the instrumental score , on the other hand , is generally playful ; yahoo uses such classics as the " 1812 overture " and the theme from the good , the bad and the ugly to great comic effect . 
halfway through young einstein , i knew for sure the movie was a stinker . 
but it wasn't until the very end that i finally put my finger on why : the comedy takes its roots not from whimsical film fantasies ( such as young sherlock holmes ) but from cheesy prime-time sitcoms . 
in fact , young einstein might have been more at home on network television , where its sophomoric humor wouldn't raise any eyebrows .
this is the last carry on film with its almost intact regular cast and it is the swansong of hattie jacques and sid james . 
dick turpin ( sid james ) and his gang which includes harriett/harry ( barbara windsor ) and tom " doc " scholl ( peter butterworth ) , terrorise the countryside by staging highway robberies : " stand and deliver ! " 
owing to the increased occurrence of turpin's robberies , captain desmond fancey of the bow street runners ( kenneth williams ) and his sidekick sergeant jock strapp ( jack douglas ) visit turpin's area of influence to bring him to justice . 
they are under the express orders of sir roger daley ( bernard bresslaw ) . 
their intellect does not count for much and when they increasingly become suspicious of reverend flasher aka dick turpin ( sid james ) , whom they confided in earlier , they still cannot believe that the rector has any part in these robberies . 
however , once they catch harriett and put her in jail , and sir roger daley takes complete charge , it seems that there is no hope for dick turpin . 
then again , sir roger has assigned the dimwits fancey and jock strapp aswell as the old dithering constable ( kenneth connor ) to keep an eye on their prisoner ! 
there is no doubt that this is a 'sid james' carry on movie . 
he excels in double roles ( as in 'carry on- don't lose your head' ) and his performance as flasher and turpin is hilarious . 
barbara windsor is also funny as harriett the sex mad housemaid and member of the gang , and hattie jacques' small but effective role as the rector's housekeeper martha hoggett is played to perfection . 
jack douglas plays a milder version of his excruciatingly annoying on-screen persona and kenneth williams is given a rather mundane part . 
peter butterworth is not allowed to shine in his boring performance as tom , and bernard bresslaw's character appears only briefly in the film . 
the only notable performance from the support cast comes from joan sims as madame desiree , who is travelling around the country escorting her starlets the 'birds of paradise' and sporting a fake french accent . 
when her girls and her are robbed by turpin , she is determined to catch him and helps the reverend to find the culprit ! 
a carry on by the numbers , this movie is only notable for the great performance by sid james in his last carry on movie . 
the jokes are bluer , the script is poorer ( it is the last script written by talbot rothwell ) , but the music is a marked improvement . 
although nearly all the regulars appear , they seem to be just going through the motions . 
none of the high spirits of the earlier films are apparent here . 
just a selection of crude jokes and repititive double-entendres .
susan granger's review of " america's sweethearts " ( columbia/sony ) 
what a waste of a talented cast ! 
billy crystal and co-writer peter tolan have concocted a sly , provocative premise and , as the opening credits roll , it's obvious that they're attempting an old-fashioned romantic comedy . 
the story involves a veteran publicist ( billy crystal ) who is summoned to orchestrate a press junket in las vegas when an arrogant director ( christopher walken ) holds a megabuck movie hostage in his editing room , refusing to show it to anyone . 
he figures that by giving the journalists juicy hints of a possible reconciliation between the film's once-married-but-now-estranged stars , gwen and eddie ( catherine zeta-jones , john cusack ) , they'll be so distracted that they won't remember they didn't see the movie or it wasn't what they expected . 
 ( and crystal thought of this long before a sony exec concocted the phony critic/david manning quote scandal ! ) 
for help , he turns to gwen's personal assistant/sister ( julia roberts ) . 
but the laughs are few and far-between . 
crystal's glib , cynical flack isn't wickedly funny enough with a few amusing one-liners . 
after six months under the care of a depak chopra-like guru ( alan arkin ) , cusack's character's too emotionally fragile , lacking the necessary charisma . 
zeta-jones's vain , narcissistic diva is undeveloped and one-dimensional . 
only hank azaria , as zeta-jones's much-macho spanish lover , and stanley tucci , as a studio exec , and roberts manage to whip up any farcical froth . 
basically , we don't like these ego-driven , stereotypical characters , let alone root for them to unwind their romantic entanglements , and joe roth's direction is predictable , formulaic and telegraphic . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , " america's sweethearts " is a contrived , shallow 4 . as a screwball satire , it's strictly superficial .
susan granger's review of " jeepers creepers " ( mgm/ua entertainment ) 
this nasty , little horror film begins as a bickering brother ( justin long ) and sister ( gina philips ) are driving through the desolate countryside on their way home from college and spy a man dropping wrapped-up bodies down a drainage pipe . 
when long decides to investigate , there's nothing but trouble . 
 " you know the part in scary movies where somebody does something really stupid and everybody hates them for it ? 
- well , this is it ! " 
philips warns . 
what he finds in the basement of an old , abandoned church is a dying boy with a horrifying , jagged-stitched incision from his neck to his navel , plus hundreds of other mutilated bodies , stitched together on the walls and ceiling like a disgusting tapestry . 
long flees but now the monstrous , winged creeper ( jonathan breck ) is after both of them ! 
eileen brennan appears briefly as the cat lady and patricia belcher is jezelle , a psychic who explains the evil creature's bizarre feeding habits . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , " jeepers creepers " is a fiendishly visceral 2 with an extraordinarily gruesome conclusion , giving new meaning to the old song " jeepers creepers . " 
and now - as paul harvey would say - for the rest of the story . 
what's more scary than the cruelty of the satanic film itself is the fact that writer/director victor salva is a convicted child molester who videotaped himself having oral sex with a 12 year-old actor in california . 
sentenced to three years in prison , he served 15 months and completed parole in 1992 . 
when salva made " powder " ( 1995 ) , the story of an albino boy with supernatural abilities , disney studio executives claimed that they did not know about his prior conviction as a pedophile . 
and now , once again , in this mgm/ua film , that fact is conspicuously absent from his press kit bio .
come on hollywood , surprise me . 
stop giving us these poorly written thrillers with banal dialogue , sketchy characters and plots as predictable as the sunset . 
the always watchable morgan freeman plays a detective who becomes personally involved in a case involving missing girls . 
personal , because his niece is one of the victims . 
it's a slobbering psychopath , of course , but this time there's a twist . 
freeman notes that each of the young women who've disappeared are all strong willed , assertive , and more successful in their careers than the average girl . 
we soon learn that the guy calls himself casanova , whose aim is to " dominate " these modern gals by imprisoning them in some dungeon and keeping them as his personal harem . 
anyway , one of the women manages to escape ( ashly judd ) and teams up with freeman to . . . well , 
you know the rest . 
a brief glance at the plot to silence of the lambs , with which this film is constantly being compared to by the hype merchants , may suggest lambs also has a fairly predictable story . 
perhaps , but that film also has superbly drawn characters and smart dialogue . 
so lets not insult a great movie by taking the comparisons any further , okay ? 
and as for comparisons to seven . . . oh 
please ! 
kiss the girls is based on the novel by james patterson and written for the screen by one david klass . 
maybe the novel was a stinker to start with , but whatever the case , it's the writing that's clearly at fault here . 
one , these characters have very little to say that's engaging or interesting . 
two , the script has no sense of humour . 
three , while the notion of a psycho's victims being smart , successful women is an interesting twist , the execution isn't even half as good as the idea . 
thus , ashly judd comes across all out of focus , instead of being the heart of the story . 
we can't feel her rage . 
some atrociously written casual exchanges between her and several male characters are supposed to remind us that she's the no-bullshit 90's type , but these conversations barely register . 
and as for freeman , kiss the girls is his second dog in a year : first chain reaction , now this . 
for an actor of his calibre , this is most worrying . 
young director gary fleder scored a hit a few years back with his quirky pulp fiction-esque things to do in denver when your dead . 
but what can he do with material as resolutely mediocre as this ? 
not much , and you can hardly blame him . 
there's a few well-staged chase scenes through the forest where the camera whirls , dives and jumps , and the effect is startling . 
but the script is beyond rescue . 
what hurts most is that hollywood continues to get away with serving up this tripe , safe in the knowledge that jaded audiences will lap it up . 
complacency rules : it's been so long since we saw a mainstream american thriller that delivered juicy characters , real surprises and consistently sharp dialogue . 
the only consolation for this viewer is that my ticket to the movie was a freebie , positive proof that the best things in life aren't free . . . . 
 .
i wish i could accurately describe the theme music for part 3 . 
the best way i can put it is that it's funky . 
i know this is an odd question , but remember the opening music of " police academy 4 : citizens on patrol " , when steve guttenberg and michael winslow perform the title song " citizens on patrol " during the opening credits ? 
it's just like that . 
anyway , part 3 takes place a day after the events of part 2 ( so technically still 1985 ) . 
this time , a group of horny teens ( who also bring along two aging hippie potheads for some reason ) head up to a cabin on crystal lake for a weekend of sex and weed . 
it turns out that one of the teens had been attacked by jason earlier in her life ( which must have been between parts 1 and 2 ) so why she has returned to crystal lake one day after a new batch of murders is beyond me . 
she's the lone survivor this time . 
part 3 was originally shown in theaters in 3-d , and from what i can tell from the video , it looks as though they may have been fairly decent effects . 
jason had long , wild hair when he was unmasked in part 2 . now , one day later he's completely bald . 
also , it being one day later , it can't be friday the 13th now can it ? 
oh well . 
steve miner is the only director who helmed more than one film in the series . 
[r]
synopsis : sonny koufax ( adam sandler ) is a rich , childish , angry man who has just been dumped by his girlfriend vanessa ( kristy swanson ) . 
in a bid to impress vanessa sonny impersonates his friend kevin ( jon stewart ) and adopts a 5 year old boy named julian ( cole and dylan sprouse ) while kevin is on an overseas trip . 
under sonny's supervision julian soon learns to lie to women , tell people how he " wipes his ass , " throw tantrums , and scream for his " god damned " treats . 
self centered , julian breaks a school classmate's arm without apologizing or even realizing he has done anything wrong . 
meanwhile sonny bribes julian with sugary talk , food , toys , and flashy promises in order to get the kid to perform . 
not surprisingly the government takes julian away from sonny's incompetent supervision , and this leads to a custody battle . 
opinion : it's a movie about an embittered creep teaching a little kid to be a jerk , and we all get cheap laughs because for 90 minutes the innocent kindergartner never finds out what it means when he mimics all the bad boy behavior . 
that's the essence of big daddy . 
but there's a bigger issue involved : marketing . 
movies that are rated pg and pg-13 are heavily marketed towards children of preteen age and below . 
on tv , film clips advertise these movies as family-friendly hit comedies . 
then when you go see them they turn out to be either raunchy sex acts like austin powers with characters named fat bastard - - or big daddy where adult characters get their jollies by buddying up to naive five year olds and encouraging them to experiment with drugs and mistreatment . 
folks in hollywood are trying to develop a preteen market for raunchy stuff , but i think most american parents would agree that early childhood is a time of mental innocence that should be protected from uncaring media market exploitation . 
to many american mothers there's probably nothing more pathetic and unsettling than the sight of a theater full of unsupervised little eight year olds laughing raucously as movie character father adam sandler jokes about a woman's " ice cold tits . "
the second serial-killer thriller of the month is just awful . 
oh , it starts deceptively okay , with a handful of intriguing characters and some solid location work . 
after a baby-sitter gets gutted in the suit- ably spooky someone's-in-the-house prologue , parallel stories unfold , the first involving a texas sheriff ( r . lee emery ) , a gruesome double murder , and the arrival of a morose fbi agent ( dennis quaid ) on the eve of voting for the local lawman's reelection . 
the second pairs a hitch- hiker ( jared leto ) with a friendly former railroad worker ( danny glover ) . 
they're headed west , toward the rockies and away from the murder scene . 
which one is the killer ? 
well , it doesn't really matter , 'cause when writer/first-time director jeb stuart ( die hard ) finally spills the beans , you won't take his choice seriously anyway . 
the whole thing goes south about an hour in , with the tale taking hairpin turns that i certainly couldn't follow . 
and through the whole thing there's quaid , playing with the most intense monotony this side of steven sea- gal . 
i guess i'm glad that i didn't walk out-- there's some nice train stuff at the end and a fun nod to dr . 
strangelove .
this is my first review that i post to this newsgroup , and i kind of feel like i have to say something negative about this film . 
no one else seems to care that it takes certain liberties that should not be taken with a historical story . 
however , even if one thinks of it as fiction , " the prince of egypt " remains shallow . 
but i'll begin from the beginning . 
the biggest difference between the original , biblical story and this version is that moses has some semblance of divinity in the bible , whereas the animated version gives the impression of a reluctant hero . 
maybe it's just me , but if i knew i had god on my side , i'd have a little bit more confidence . 
there are other differences as well , such as a lack of important female characters and the passing over of the original pharoah's death like it's nothing but a thing . 
most of all , though , the story's focus has shifted . 
rather than being a story about father-son , man-ethnicity , man-god , " the prince of egypt " is almost solely about the brother-brother relationship between rameses and moses . 
i was originally excited about this story element until i saw the movie , where it came off as maudlin . 
rameses and moses squabble like children and then , in the interests of peace , moses saves rameses' butt , even though moses was the one who started it . . . 
 * yawn * i didn't care anymore by the time moses ran off for murdering an overseer ( which , of course , never happened in the original story - moses was exiled ) . 
but enough about the differences . 
let's talk about the movie itself . 
it features a moses who , in the interests of making the character more human , lacks any divinity whatsoever , which isn't convincing at all to anyone who knows who god is . 
it features a cookie-cutter " i-wanna-please-dada " rameses , who at least is given dignity by the voicework of ralph fiennes ( from schindler's list , among other things ) . 
the film also features an extremely annoying character by way of the " new-improved " miriam , voiced by the ever-antsy sandra bullock , even though the most irritating thing about her is her tendency to burst into song for no apparent reason ( here bullock is replaced by a singing voice ) . 
speaking of which , it contains * very * annoying music . 
it contains shallow writing . 
it features extraordinary animation , which is one good thing i can say about this film . 
most of all , it contains an attempt to commercialize , homogenize , and mass-market a story about a manifestation of god . 
i am not christian , but i got the impression of blasphemy . 
the writers and producers took a butcher knife and chop-chopped into the story .
tim robbins and martin lawernce team up in this road movie comedy . 
robbins plays an exec who discovers his wife having sex with his boss . 
he goes into depression , and drives around his neighbourhood until he arrives inside the usual 'ghetto' side of every american city . 
there , lawernce attempts to steal his car , but to no avail , and is dragged along with robbin's on a trip to arizona . 
there , they hold up a store , are mistaken for two other robbers ( just like in my cousin vinny ) and are chased by the police , and the other robbers . 
of course , there's gags along the way , usually from lawernce . 
although the film is midly funny , and quite watchable , there's something so horribly familiar about it all . 
this film should really be called beverly hills midnight run there's lawernce with his wisecracking and heavy profanity , just like eddie murphy in beverly hills cop , and pratically the same idea as midnight run . 
it's full of all the road movie cliches , and even has a 'comedy' car chase , which just seemed so eighties . 
even the credit sequence seemed to be out of a steve martin , or chevy chase , eighties comedy . 
there also isn't much chemistry between robbins and lawernce . 
in planes , trains and automobiles , there was real chemistry between steve martin and john candy . 
in nothing to lose , there is hardly chemistry at all . 
towards the end the chemistry seems to work , but for the bulk of the film , there is hardly any , 
the director directs the film in a workman like fashion , but gets the jokes across . 
and although there is no chemistry between the two leads , they give good performances on their own . 
lawerence gives a good eddie murphy performance , and robbin's is alright aswell . 
however , robbin's performance is nowhere near as good as the characters he played in jacob's ladder , and the player . 
in fact , if you want to see robbin's do comedy much better than in nothing to lose , i suggest you rent out the hudsucker proxy , where he is much funnier . 
nothing to lose does have some funny moments in it , however . 
the humour isn't particulary sophisticated , but if you enojyed dumb & dumber , you might enjoy this . 
the characters in arizona are funny , and there's also a good scene where robbin's asks a shopkeeper which 'threatening approach' was better , lawerences ( which consisted of lawerence threatening to shoot the shopkeeper's ass , and swearing a lot ) , or himselfs , ( which was speaking in a deep , scary voice ) but the gags are predictable , the lack of chemistry infurating , and the ending too far-fetched and 'perfect' 
nothing to lose then , is robbin's first 'bad' movie ( and hopefully his last ) , and suggests that odereick should twice before making another film . 
he nearly ruined carrey's career with ace ventura : when nature calls , let's hope he hasn't ruined robbin's ( or even lawerence's ) with nothing to lose .
in " the astronaut's wife , " charlize theron plays a young woman with a nervous demeanor , pixie-hairdo and demon spawn unwittingly growing in her belly . 
if only her name wasn't jillian , the makers of this embarrassing bit of sci-fi shlock could have come up with a far more appropriate title : " rosemary's species . " 
what a shame it is to see such a gifted actress as theron - oscar-worthy in " the devil's advocate " - struggle with the lamest rip-off of a screendom classic in recent memory . 
ok , maybe " the astronaut's wife " deviates from " rosemary's baby " turf for its set-up , which finds our heroine terrorized not by satan's minions but her possessed husband ( johnny depp ) , a shuttle pilot whose mission mishap leaves him , um , a changed man . 
predictably , he and the missus get it on in a sequence best described as unpleasant , his evil seed impregnating her with twins and realizing that great " bowfinger " line about " alien love . " 
theron's " advocate " character faced a similar dilemma , the horror there resonating strongly . 
 " astronaut " provides only artificial anxiety . 
last year's equally noodle-headed " species ii " spun a similar premise about the breeding habits of an extraterrestrial on earth , but at least that movie more or less knew it was garbage . 
 " the astronaut's wife " is grave and humor-free , passing its increasingly silly story off as full-fledged serious , right down to an ambiguous finale that isn't even going to satisfy those who've stayed with it thus far . 
here's a hint : it involves lots of water , electrical equipment , a special effect from " the abyss " and the tots who doubled up as adam sandler's co-star in " big daddy . " 
draw your own conclusions . 
director/writer rand ravich coats the proceedings in dynamic sights masterminded by legendary " e . t . " 
cinematographer allen daviau , but too often favors the film's visual presentation over the story he's trying to tell . 
this bodes horribly for each dramatic development , like the surfacing of a suspicious nasa official ( " speed " 's joe morton ) to instigate jill's slow and stupid comprehension of the truth . 
his hyper-erratic behavior is probably supposed to give wife a paranoid edge . 
instead , he adds to the phoniness . 
theron and depp are certainly beyond this junk and will get other chances to prove themselves this fall - she as part of an imposing ensemble case in the john irving adaptation " cider house rules , " he in the lead of tim burton's eagerly-awaited " sleepy hollow . " 
undeserving of such talent , " the astronaut's wife " manages to be derivative , dull and uninvolving despite its seemingly ripe potential for unintentional laughs . 
in space , no one can hear you scream . 
but in a movie theatre , everyone can hear you snore .
for a good ten years or so , super cool chow yun fat has enjoyed god hood status in the hong kong action scene . 
now , he has followed in the footsteps of director john woo , ( who launched chow's super stardom in the acclaimed 'a better tomorrow' ) by moving to hollywood . 
i had some reservations about this move and it would seem i was right to have them . 
chow plays a hitman who is doing jobs in order to repay a debt . 
his final job requires him to kill a policeman's seven year old boy . 
this he refuses do and runs . 
however , he is forced into a violent confrontation when his family are threatned and replacement killers are brought in to do the job . 
cue around 80 minutes of various and quite frankly tedious shoot- outs which take place in various locations . 
some thought had gone into making them a bit different but unfortunately they end up being just plain boring . 
the car wash scene , i found myself laughing at how stupid it looked . 
tut tut . 
the emphasis during the constant action seemed to be on the accompanying music , ( i could have sworn one piece was ripped out of a bruckheimer movie ) and not on the content . 
mia sorvino ( a passport forger ) is dragged into the affay and also provides a lame love interest as well as being rather handy with a gun . 
director antoine arqua has clearly not observed chow's excellent acting capabilties and simply requires him to mutter a few lines of broken english and look flash as he stands and shoots . 
chow's trademark of twin pistol shooting is saved for the finale ( which in fairness is quite good ) and there's not even a toothpick in site . 
and as for making chow shoot like a cop , well that's damned unforgiveable . 
to round up , the replacement killers is a pretty darned lame first outing for chow . 
it would appear he has left asia for a 90 minute pop video . 
this is not what we wanted at all , considering john woo was the exec producer . 
 ( did he have no say so at all ? ) 
watch 'the killer' again and weep at the difference . 
review by chris hill . 
 " there's room at the top , they are telling you still , but first you must learn how to smile as you kill , if you want to be like the folks on the hill . "
libby parsons ( ashley judd ) has the perfect little life -- a rich husband , a cute son , and a house on the ocean -- but when her husband nick ( bruce greenwood ) takes her sailing , she awakes to find him gone and her hands covered with blood . 
just as she makes it to the deck and picks up the bloody knife lying there , the coast guard arrives in response to a distress call her vanished husband sent . 
she's convicted of his murder , of course , and leaves her son matty ( benjamin weir ) with her best friend ( annabeth gish ) . 
time passes , and the friend disappears with matty . 
during their last phone conversation libby hears matty yell " daddy ! " 
and realizes that her husband is still alive . 
libby serves six years , growing harder and driven by the desire to kill nick ( based on the theory that because of the " double jeopardy " amendment she can off him with impunity ) . 
when she gets parole , she's sent to a halfway house run by travis lehman ( tommy lee jones ) , a former law professor who ruined his life with a drunk driving accident . 
after a little breaking and entering and some destruction of property , libby jumps parole and lams it across the country looking for nick and matty . 
travis pursues , naturally . 
 " double jeopardy " is a watered-down version of " the fugitive , " with jones sleep-walking through his well-worn pursuer persona . 
although libby never leaps from a bus that collides with a train , she manages to get into a few nail-biters -- chased down the beach by a jeep , chained to a car that plunges into the ocean , sealed in a coffin -- that add some much needed thrills to an anemic , slow-moving script . 
character development is thin . 
travis' intriguing backstory is mentioned a couple times but has no effect on the story . 
 ( i think they only made him a former law professor so that he could verify the double-jeopardy theory when libby gets the drop on nick . 
it's a long way to go for one line ) . 
there's considerable sexual tension between travis and libby ( hey , there's something " the fugitive " didn't have ! ) , but it never goes anywhere . 
libby is a tv-movie everywoman , but judd's intense performance draws us in and makes us forget that her character has no distinguishing characteristics . 
this is judd's most prominent role to date , and she proves that she can light up the screen . 
let's hope hollywood gives her more to work with next time around . 
the quality of director bruce beresford's movies seems to depend on luck . 
when he has a good script and a strong cast , he turns out oscar-caliber work like " 'breaker' morant , " " driving miss daisy , " and " tender mercies . " 
when he doesn't . 
 . 
 . 
we get " double jeopardy . " 
screenwriters david weisberg and douglas cook previously collaborated on " the rock , " a script which probably benefited from the numerous uncredited rewrites . 
bottom line : ashley judd tries hard but can't save this predictable bore .
as far as " mystery men " is concerned , the burning question is less " is it really as bad as it looks from the trailer ? " 
 ( the answer there is an unequivocal " yes " ) and more " how in the name of sweet jesus did first-time director kinka usher get such a first-rate cast to act in this muck ? " 
 " mystery men " features greg kinnear as the heavily-sponsored captain amazing and geoffrey rush as his arch nemesis ( singular ) casanova frankenstein . 
a veritable police lineup of hot hollywood talent plays the superhero wannabes of the title , who join forces to get c . amazing out of a tight spot when c . frankenstein puts the screws on champion city . 
there's william h . macy as the mild-mannered shoveler , hank azaria as the cutlery-flinging blue raja ( no knives , but a phony english accent that's just as sharp ) , ben stiller as mr . furious ( whose only power seems to be his ability to get hot under the collar ) , janeane garofalo as a crazed bowler with her father's skull interestingly preserved , wes studi as a rhetoric-spouting cowled avenger , and kel mitchell as the token ( and , adding insult to injury , invisible ! ) 
black guy . 
bringing up the rear , so to speak , is paul reubens ( yes , that's pee wee herman paul reubens ) as . . . 
well , let's just call him the gas man . 
the production design is overblown , the special effects are overdone , and the script ( based on bob burden's " dark horse " comic book series ) is overbaked . 
the appealing actors are uniformly good and stiller is even stellar , but they can't begin to save " mystery men " --it's just one big mess . 
you're better off renting the video and pressing fast-forward to get to the funny bits . 
i believe i counted three .
" american pie " alums jason biggs and mena suvari star in this summer's attempt to capitalize on the youth market looking for a comedy about young people they can relate to that combines generic hollywood cute couple-ness and zany comedy . 
it's about an a+ student ( biggs as " paul " ) who gets a scholarship to some college in new york city who sticks out like a sore thumb and falls for dora ( suvari ) a ditzy heroin-chic goth chick who has no ambition or self-respect whatsoever and allows herself to be pushed around just like " hick-boy " paul is . 
so we've got a fish-out-water formula mixed with meet-cute romantic comedy which ideally should make for a good movie . 
unfortunately the atrocious screenplay and boring direction by " clueless " auteur amy heckerling successfully manages to screw up everything about the film . 
these characters are totally unrealistic and unbelievable - it's as if everyone under age 30 is a stoned raver . 
there's no background or details to anyone or anything , it's just a bunch of cartoon characters running into each other . 
not to mention the story itself which is virtually non-existant and contains so many plotholes it's like swiss cheese . 
even the basic editing is bad . 
if you're looking for a romantic comedy stay far away from this one because it is neither romantic nor funny . 
i saw this in a packed cinema on opening night and the audience barely laughed at all . 
if you've seen the commericials you've seen all the " funny " parts ( which are all from the first five minutes ) .
synopsis : an aging master art thief , his supplier , and a young , buxom security consultant are all not who they first appear to be ( or are they ? ) in this convoluted mess involving a risky heist during the millennium . 
comments : this movie was boring . 
plain and simple . 
entrapment should not have been boring . 
it stars sean connery , who can still carry an action film despite his age , catherine zeta-jones , a likeable enough film presence , and ving rhames , ultra-cool star of pulp fiction and mission : impossible . 
it takes full advantage of the y2k computer bug fears ( a current " hot topic " in the news ) in its storyline , which is set at the end of 1999 . 
it has some genuinely well-staged action sequences . 
so , what went wrong ? 
plenty , unfortunately . 
the major problem with entrapment is its script . 
it has a been-there , done-that feel to it . 
nothing seems particularly inventive or original , so the whole movie lacks suspense and drags ( it runs nearly two hours ) . 
the screenwriters , for example , periodically use a countdown to the millennium as a means of transition between scenes ( i . e . 
 " 4 days to the millennium " ) . 
this device was used much more effectively in the overlooked sci-fi film strange days . 
the characters are not who they appear to be at the beginning , which is neat at first but the device wears thin once the umpteenth " surprise " revelation is made . 
entrapment , in other words , relies too heavily on the audience not knowing what each character's true motive is , resulting in a convoluted story which leaves many scratching their heads in confusion . 
the star power here is quite strong , but the viewer can't help but feel the actors are wasted in this production . 
sean connery is given such mind-numbing lines as " never trust a naked woman . " 
ving rhames' character seems like an afterthought ; he's not developed at all . 
the camera zooms in frequently and leeringly at catherine zeta-jones's tight wardrobe . 
this , in and of itself , is not bad , but , after a while , it has a juvenile feel to it . 
at least the species movies hold no bones about the fact that they're exploiting the female body . 
entrapment does the same under the thin disguise of plot development ( sean connery supposedly falls in love with the girl while watching her , in tights , arc and pivot around laser beams ) . 
the tagline for this movie reads " the trap is set . " 
it sure is , on those who spent money to see this movie . 
entrapment really isn't that bad ; it is watchable . 
i would suggest , however , one waits until this is on cable or television to see it .
plot : token director alan smithee steals the only copy of his film " trio " from the studio , after they complete the " final cut " without him . 
he threatens to burn the film reel if they do not allow him to keep his vision . 
critique : wow . 
i really can't remember the last time a movie sucked on so many levels ! 
the " comedy " in this film is pathetic , obvious and dated ( oj simpson jokes galore ) . 
the plot is uninteresting , boring and bad . 
the structure of the film is annoying , repetitive and pretentious . 
the acting is pretty bad , especially jackie chan , who can't act to save his life . 
the cameos are lame and seem forced , and the ending blows chunks . 
all in all , this movie believes itself to be a clever , humorous and edgy look behind the closed doors of hollywood , but comes across as a boring , stupid and completely unentertaining piece of shite . 
i love to see movies about hollywood shenanigans , but this one bites the big one . 
see it if you like to watch really bad movies , otherwise skip it , because it will just have you hating every star that makes an appearance in it . 
luckily for us all , this mess only lasts about 80 minutes , and miramax honcho harvey weinstein plays a lead-faced detective . 
by the way , is there any reason why the studio or the producer couldn't have cut another version of the film by the way of all the filmed stock that was left over ? 
who knows , who cares , this " satire " sucks the bag . 
little known facts about this film and its stars : ironically , the original director of this film , arthur hiller , also requested his name be taken off the credits and replaced by the dga's alan smithee moniker . 
this was after the film's production company , cinergi pictures , preferred the cut made by producer/writer joe eszterhas to his . 
the original script of this film included arnold schwarzenegger and bruce willis . 
eszterhas announced through the media during post-production that cinergi pictures didn't have the money to pay for soundtrack . 
he said that he would finance the soundtrack from his own money and asked to submit tracks for it to him . 
he received 9 , 200 cds and cassettes from mostly unknown and unsigned artists , listened to all that was sent ( at least a couple of tracks from each record ) and compiled the soundtrack . 
this film practically swept the " razzie awards " in 1999 , given out to the worst of all movie categories of the year , with no less than the " worst picture " award , the " worst screenplay " ( joe eszterhas ) , the " worst supporting actor " ( joe eszterhas ) , the " worst new star " ( joe eszterhas tied with jerry springer ) and the " worst original song " ( " i wanna be mike ovitz ! " 
as written by joe eszterhas ) .