polsci/sentiment-polarity-dataset-v2.0 huggingface dataset:
capsule : the weakest and least engaging of the alien movies , dragged down by an uninvolving story and no real tension . 
alien 3 ( the " 3 " should be in superscript ) is a sad and wan entry in what was shaping up as one of the best sf sagas ever put on screen . 
it continues the story of ripley , the space-trucker-turned-impromptu-survivalist , but seems remarkably uninterested in her . 
in fact , the movie seems lucky to be interested in anything at all , it's so elegaic and limp . 
a little of this would have been nice for atmosphere , but the movie telegraphs its own tragedy from the beginning . 
at the end of the last film ( aliens ) , ripley and two survivors were on their way home . 
unfortunately , an alien pod had been deposited in their ship , and wound up triggering off their ejection in an escape pod . 
the pod crashes on firorina 161 , a prison planet designed to house the incurably criminally violent . 
ripley lives through the crash ; the others do not . 
the prison is a grim place , even as prisons go -- it's been built around the remnants of an abandoned steelworks , which provides no end of techno-gothic backdrops for the actors to be backlit against . 
lice are endemic , and so ripley's head is shaved ( another surreal touch ) . 
at first it looks like she just has to hold out as an unwelcome guest until a company rescue ship can arrive , but it doesn't stay that way . 
one of the other eggs on board the wrecked escape pod hatches , and soon a newly-gestated alien is running amuck . 
worse , it looks like ripley herself has been impregnated . 
what's weird is how little tension this generates , except near the end , when the pressure is being troweled on through every cheap cinematic form of cheating imaginable : loud music , shaky camerawork , etc . sigourney weaver has become comfortable with the role , and she does well with it , but this time the role has been underwritten and left slack . 
the supporting actors are also not given a lot to do : the doctor ( charles dance ) and another , rather religious inmate ( charles s . dutton , very good ) , hiave presence , but they're not asked to do anything with it . 
in light of the impending sequel , which apparently plays fast and loose with the ending of this movie , i will not talk about the ending -- except to say that they found a remarkably good ending for such a drab movie . 
it's strange that some of the desperate and improvisational thinking that they found to wind up this story couldn't have driven the rest of it .
" from the director of " the nightmare before christmas " it said in the previews , which i'm guessing was said to get people to go see the movie , obviously it hasn't worked since the $75 million dollar movie has yet to break $5 million . 
to each it's own however , since " monkey bone " is not only a bad movie all together , but technically well-made . 
a tragic waste of talent and incredible visual effects . 
stu miley is the genius behind the new phenomena " monkey bone " a crude comic strip , that everyone wants to merchandise , they go to great links to get it as well , including dollars that let out fart powder . 
when stu and his girlfriend , julie ( bridget fonda ) are in a freak car accident ( you'll see ) stu goes into a coma , and while in his coma stu travels to i'm guessing dark town , where all the characters in dreams come to life . 
people are stuck in this town , with their nightmares roaming around them . 
when stu spots monkey bone ( whom he really can't stand ) he tries to keep him under control . 
making a new friend kitty ( rose mcgowan ) he learns that if he gets an exit pass from death , he can go back up and live his life . 
when monkey bone and stu steal a pass , monkey bone becomes a trader and takes it and goes into stu's body . 
now monkey bone must get everyone to buy these dolls with nightmare powder , so everyone has nightmares . . . or 
something like that . 
rather complex ( in fact more than it needs to be ) " monkey bone " had potential in the script and even the story . 
what is considerably noticeable is the gaping plot holes , and lack of character development . 
for instance we really don't get to know who stu or julie are , so why should we even care ? 
kitty played well by rose mcgowan ha a story behind her , but we are not given a chance to know her . 
the cast is decent however , brendan fraser seems to be enjoying himself in the role as stu miley , but becomes awfully annoying when monkey bone takes over his body . 
bridget fonda is dreary and seems to bring the film to a screeching halt , her performance is bad and she seems miscast . 
dave foley isn't given enough to do , as well as " will & grace's " megan mullally who can be funny . 
the standout performance is the voice of nick turturro as monkey bone himself , he is very funny and entertaining and really keeps the film from being a total bust . 
the special effects of " monkey bone " is what might really bring in some curious viewers , these special effects are highly effective , and nice to look at with the eyes . 
some of them are believable and some unbelievable . . . for 
monkey bone he seems to be like stuart little , you really don't realize that he is animated . . . but 
on occasion it sneaks up on you . 
the direction by henry selick is good , but at times he doesn't know what kind of film he wants to make , and the ending climax falls off the cliff . 
it's too bad really , " monkey bone " could have been a real good movie , but with it's heavily done hack job , and lack of character development it just sinks when the end credits role . 
for those curious however , it might be worth the rental , but other than that avoid this one .
numerous comparisons can be made with this movie to past sci-fi , suspense thrillers . 
soldier is a multi ? crossbreed between the likes of terminator , aliens and offspring . 
the problem with such mixed genes is that the final product is a real mongrel ? not well made and should have been put down before production got off the ground . 
besides this , the action is mediocre when compared to the standard action flicks of this day and age . 
the fight scenes between jason scott lee and kurt russell seem laboured , slow and sluggish , and could have done with better choreography . 
russell who is usually a good actor in b-grade action flicks is unusually hampered by his character ? sergeant todd , who seems more like a sergeant toad . 
besides having almost no dialogue , his character appears stunted , zombie-like which is in line with his screen persona , but scores little points of empathy with the audience . 
this movie has not made me change my opinion about director paul anderson , whose last epic event horizon has left an unusually bitter taste in my mouth . 
although this movie does not come anywhere close to the strangeness of former , it is still a long way from anything considered desirable .
gord brody ( tom green ) is an aspiring animator approaching thirty who still lives in parents jim ( rip torn ) and julie's ( julie hagerty , " airplane " ) basement . 
as dad declares all out war , gord secures a job in a cheese sandwich factory in far off la and sets off to make his dreams come true . 
gord doesn't make much of a go on his first attempt and lands back home with fawning mom and outraged dad in " freddy got fingered . " 
tom green cowrites ( with " tom green show " scribe derek harvie ) , directs and stars in what is essentially tom green's primal scream . 
so , if tom green screams in an empty theater , does he make a sound ? 
it's clear that " freddy got fingered " is at least partially autobiographical and green sure has one hell of a complex about his dad ( mom gets off easier when sonny boy advises her to go out and have sex with basketball players and greeks ) . 
while this may be of interest to his hard core fans , there's little about green's mania on display here to recommend this movie to anyone else . 
the film starts promisingly enough , with a well executed skateboarding scene through a shopping mall set to the sex pistols' 'problem' ( green's put together a first rate soundtrack ) and yes , i laughed a few times . 
green's flummoxing of a security guard with psychotic ramblings and his attempt to draw , make music and eat at the same time ( the 'daddy would you like some sausages' scene repeatedly shown in the film's trailer ) are inspired comedy . 
but what's funny about a paraplegic girlfriend who gets turned on by having her legs caned or a skateboarding injury that results in an exposed kneecap ? 
a baby delivery bit shows some groan-inducing promise until enough blood is splattered to coagulate the laughs . 
younger ( by three years ) brother freddy's internment at the institute for sexually abused children does nothing but confirm one's worst fears regarding the film's title and green's infamous 'handling' of a real horse , while not nearly as shocking as it would seem , doesn't make sense . 
by the time he repeats the gag with an elephant at film's end , the overall effect is numbness . 
while " freddy got fingered " has the admirable end result of depicting the harm in demeaning a child's self esteem , it's essentially a whole lot of tom green running around being noisy . 
rip torn , what were you thinking ?
much ado about nothing . 
ah , how sweet the irony ! 
it's accepted wisdom in some circles - among english literature nuts , mainly - that whenever a critic knocks shakespeare they are only doing so through ignorance . 
he just doesn't " understand " shakespeare , you will hear them say . 
the bard's work is apparently beyond criticism . 
what a load of old cobblers . 
if these arbiters of public taste think kenneth branaugh's film of shakespeare's " comedy " much ado about nothing is comedy in any modern sense of the word , it's time to get a life . 
get monty python . 
get woody allen . 
get john waters . 
whatever . 
just get a real taste of some clever , witty , risky comedy . 
and banish this nonsense to where it belongs . 
drama and tragedy was shakespeare's strength . 
to my sensibilities - and i'm no stick in the mud - much ado about nothing resonates with no spark whatsoever . 
no kidding : this film ranks among the most embarrassing two hours i have ever spent in a cinema in my 20 years of movie going . 
the only thing that stopped me walking out was loyalty to my lady friend , as this was our day out and i hadn't seen her in ages . 
but boy , does she owe me one ! 
i won't spend too much time on the plot . 
basically , we follow the trials and tribulations of two would-be couples - one young , the other older . 
there's some dark treachery amongst all this , but everyone is so awfully jolly that you'd hardly know it . 
mind you , there's nothing wrong with the basic story . 
good romantic comedies based on similar premises abound . 
nothing wrong with most of the cast , either . 
branaugh , emma thompson and denzel washington are all talented performers . 
the problem is the script , or more accurately , shakespeare's original text . 
light comedy shouldn't be complex . 
yet wrapped in elizabethan english , the dialogue becomes difficult to comprehend . 
for this alone it will be a problem for modern audiences unschooled in shakespeare and in search of nothing more than a good , undemanding laugh . 
the only laughs to escape my belly were brought on by the gloriously inept performance of keanu reeves , the actor once again miscast as a jealous half-brother or something . 
but when dissected and understood , what it all boils down to is that this stuff is just so goddamn lame . 
this is comedy so clean and nice and corny and so devoid of danger that it leaves this viewer totally cold . 
ho , ho , ho , boy likes girl ! 
ho , ho , ho , men are such klutzes ! 
ho , ho , ho , she's so awfully clumsy ! 
oh please ! 
there's wit in here somewhere , i'm told . 
i call it pretentious . 
something lightweight striving to be something sophisticated through clever wordplay . 
in the end , it's cringeworthy . 
watching some of the cinema patrons around me collapse with laughter made much ado about nothing a very weird movie going experience . 
comedy ? 
bah , humbug !
" love to kill " starts off aimlessly and gets progressively less coherent as time passes . 
at the outset , the movie appears to be about tony danza , who's an illegal distributor of guns , trying to establish a relationship with an unsuspecting woman . 
danza sets up a double date with her , her sister , and a collegue of his . 
everything seems to be going well , until the sister accidentally dies by falling down a set of stairs . 
much confusion and mahem ensues , as the death is covered up and other associates of danza's begin to emerge , all after one thing or another . 
sound confusing ? 
it is . 
i think what the filmmakers were trying to do is take the standard crime movie and throw in a little humour and levity . 
in some respects , it works . 
but the majority of the film is a convoluted and confusing mess . 
characters keep popping up with no explanation , demanding money for deals that occur off-screen . 
the only aspect of the movie that actually works is the budding relationship between danza and the dead woman's sister . 
but so little time is devoted to this part of the story , we never really become too familiar with these characters , and because of this , we don't really care what happens to them . 
well , i didn't , at least . 
one thing i will give the movie is that it's a complete departure for tony danza . 
here's a guy , because of his many sitcom roles , who's ingrained in the consciousness as a nice guy who always does the right thing . 
here , he plays a man who's just looking out for himself , and if that means he needs to kill in order to save his own skin , so be it . 
i was very impressed by his performance , and within minutes of the start of the film , i had forgotten all about his good-guy persona . 
michael madsen is also good as an associate of danza's who spends half the movie buddying up to him and the other half trying to kill him . 
like i said , it's not exactly a linear storyline . 
 " love to kill " should be praised for trying to do something different with the well worn crime genre , but it's just too bad that the story doesn't really add up to much . 
the stars deserved better , and so did the audience .
ever since wargames , the first real computer hacking movie , hollywood has attempted to produce more and more films about hacking . 
these films usually show the audience a look into computers that really is not impossible and is usually ridiculous . 
if it's not this , the exaggeration about what is real is usually greater than you would expect . 
hackers is guilty of all of these crimes . 
to anyone familiar with computers and/or the internet , most of the movie is so incredibly stupid that you can't take it anymore . 
those of you who frequent one of the greatest sites on the world wide web , the internet movie database , are probably aware of the section for movies entitled " goofs " . 
this is the section for mistakes in the movies . 
well , imdb sums up hackers extremely well with the first goof listed : " generally ill-informed and ridiculous to the extreme regarding the capabilities of computers and technology " . 
and truthfully , this is one-hundred percent correct . 
the plot , obviously , centers around computer hacking . 
more specifically , it follows the exploits of dade murphy , a young computer hacker played by jonny lee miller . 
miller should be extremely thankful for the film trainspotting , because if it were not for that , who knows where his career would be now after hackers . 
the film opens with a young dade murphy being arrested for hacking computer systems . 
he was forbidden to use a computer until he turned eighteen years old . 
the film then picks up at that point , an eighteen year old dade murphy hacking away at the computer . 
dade later meets up with fellow hackers acid burn ( angelina jolie ) , cereal killer ( matthew lillard ) , lord nikon ( laurence mason ) , and the phantom phreak ( renoly santiago ) , who are basically trying to do what is next to impossible : hack the gibson computer and not get caught by the fbi . 
oh , and as a little sub-plot , dade also tries to woo acid burn , the only female hacker in the film . 
really , i can't think of much more to say about the film's plot aside from what i've said . 
it's just a bunch of computer geeks ( no , obsessive compulsive computer geeks a little too advanced for reality ) running around hacking computers and staying away from the fbi . 
thanks to this movie , the public unfamiliar with computers now has a distorted viewpoint of computers and what they can do . 
this movie makes computers look a little bit too advanced for their time , and the frivolous suggestions it makes are too many to list . 
to sum it up , hackers is a terrible computer film . 
if you're looking for a film about computers closer to what goes on in the real world , i suggest sneakers . 
although at times it too may seem a little far fetched , it should be much more believable than hackers to regular computer users . 
hopefully , this film didn't influence too many young computer users out to think they can do what is portrayed in this 105 minute waste of time .
this is not a simple plan about finding a plane load of money and getting away with the cash . 
this is more about a parable of greed , and how money can become the bane of your life . 
yes , there are elements of ? fargo' here ( the snow and cold ) , although not as vivid in the blood and gore department . 
it shows how greed can set of a chain of events leading to death and the destruction of lives . 
and how at the end of the day , the things that matter most are love , truth and honesty . 
although in one sense it may seem tedious , making a movie about the ugliness of greed ( not box office material ) , it does become tedious , not because of the morale ending , but because one expects the movie to end that way . 
this becomes apparent after the first murder to cover up the crime , the rest of the movie just spirals downward from there . 
the characters in this drama are a mixture of simple and intellectual folk , brothers and friends , who all fall prey to the avarice of money . 
they should have perhaps thrown in someone sensible , level headed and not affected by greed to give the party more balance . 
commendable is the exceptional performance of billy bob thornton , whose portrayal of the simpleton brother was masterful . 
bill paxton also gives a powerful performance as the greedier younger brother , whilst bridget fonda is convincing as the greediest wife , who indirectly causes the most problems . 
fill a room full of greedy people and several million dollars , and you will end up with a simple recipe for a blood bath . 
it's not a simple plan , when you shoot everyone you love for money , unless you're the menendez brothers .
in the line of duty is the critically praised series of television movies dealing with the real-life incidents that claimed lives of law enforcement officers in usa . 
the twilight murders , another one from the series , is dealing with the case of gordon kahl ( played by rod steiger ) , old farmer from north dakota who would rather spend a year in prison than pay taxes to the despised u . s . government . 
after being released , he still refuses to pay taxes and the warrant is issued for his arrest . 
when the u . s . marshals come to arrest him , it turns out that kahl isn't alone . 
many poor farmers in rural northwest share his extremist anti-government beliefs , and the routine operation turns into shootout that would leave federal officers that . 
that brings fbi on the scene , and agent mayberly ( michael gross ) is supervising the manhunt . 
however , his efforts seem fruitless , since kahl still has many supporters , some of them even in the local law enforcement . 
after betrayed , 1988 thriller by costa gavras , hollywood mostly ignored the disturbing trends of rising right-wing extremism in the american northwest , and that remained so until oklahoma city bombing , when media hype brought right-wingers back into spotlight . 
until that time , only the television movies like this one bothered to pay attention to that phenomenon . 
unfortunately , the twilight murders is still routine and formulaic television film , that uses sensationalist real life content in order to cover lack of originality in the script . 
sometimes , like many american tv movies , it creates drama where drama shouldn't be . 
on the other hand , film is steadily directed by dick lowry , and rod steiger does good job potraying gordon kahl . 
on the other hand , michael gross as his pursuer is quite wooden and his interaction with some of the actors is terrible . 
however , film does deal with potentially thought-provoking social and political issues , so hour and half spent in front of the screen shouldn't be the total waste of time .
annie wilson ( cate blanchett ) , a widow who struggles to raise her children in a small town in georgia is asked for help by local authorities in solving the case of a missing woman . 
annie is something of a psychic , she has involuntary bouts with the supernatural where she can see the past and the future and physically feel the actions happenning to her she envisions . 
her " gift " leads to the arrest of a nasty wife beater who may or may not have killed the pretty rich girl found in the swamp on his property . 
in an ultra conservative backwoods town will her testimony based on her psychic visions hold up in court ? 
do they even have the right man ? 
what's good about it : 
aside from keanu reeves giving one of the best performances of his career as the loathable redneck donnie barksdale , there is little else going for the film . 
what's not so good about it : 
lame , unoriginal screenplay . 
predictable ending . 
suspense scenes that are just plain boring . 
ridicously trite characterization makes the entire south out to be ingnorant , hateful goobers . 
relentless in its emotional sensationaliztion . 
overall critique : 
 " the gift " is one of those movies that makes you wonder where you've seen this story before . 
it's a collection of every cliche and stereotype of the south ever made , and coming from a yankee like me who dislikes the south that's really saying something . 
for an established , talented director sam raimi is unable to provide any kind of originality to this film . 
it's predictable from the first scene , the screenplay is written like a rip-off of a photocopied bootlegged play . 
you know that as nasty as the murder suspect is he didn't actually do it . 
it's no surprise either who the real villain turns out to be and what their motive was . 
sigh , how trite . 
for a supernatural thriller this is neither scary nor intense because it's so cliche . 
 " the gift " is basically a glorified b-movie .
the happy bastard's quick movie review 
holy man 
more like holy crap . 
the film stars eddie murphy as a mystical-ish figure named g on a strange journey of some sort when he comes across two network execs ( jeff goldblum and kelly preston ) with a flat tire on their hands . 
somehow he ends up in their car and on their channel , a line-up of infomercial programs featuring the likes of betty white , morgan fairchild , and a slew of other celebrities and nameless figures . 
it's here that he seems to hit his stride , speaking of life instead and somehow boosting sales . 
at this point in the movie , of course , morality comes into play , particularly on goldblum , who suddenly feels he can market the magical g into megabucks to get in good with his boss ( robert loggia ) . 
it doesn't take long for the movie to unfold into sappy mush , with realizations taking place left and right and poor plot points . 
only a real zippy sequence involving frying morgan fairchild's face seems to have any interest in the movie . 
murphy lends nothing to his character and poor goldblum looks as if he'd rather be someplace else . 
some may argue that the movie has a message , but all that came across to me is that i could probably get more entertainment watching that informercial with the guy in the question mark coat . 
at least he has something for us to laught at . . .
a remake of the 1978 warren beatty vehicle " heaven can wait " ( which in turn was a remake of " here comes mr . jordan " ) , " down to earth " tells the tale of lance barton ( chris rock , " lethal weapon iv " ) , a young black standup comic trying to win over the audience at harlem's apollo theater . 
when he's taken to heaven prematurely by bumbling angel keyes ( eugene levy , " best in show " ) , his only recourse is to return in another body . 
he chooses that of charles wellington , the tenth richest man in the united states . 
of course , wellington is not only rich , but white and 53 years old , which makes lance's bid for closing night at the apollo , as well as his desire to woo suntee ( regina taylor , " jerry maguire " ) , a tad tricky . 
the original elaine may/warren beatty script has been reworked by chris rock , lance crouther , ali leroi , and louis c . k . 
to turn beatty's vehicle as a football player into rock's vehicle as a comic and add some racial humor . 
as directed by chris weitz and paul weitz ( codirectors of " american pie " and costars of " chuck & buck " ) , the whole affair comes off as amateur hour . 
initial scenes play like filmed line reading rehearsals . 
production values are shoddy . 
most serious of all is the use of rock when his wellington counterpart would have been more appropriate . 
this problem is clearly attributable to the fact that the old white guy is never lip or action synched when he is on screen . 
rock does get the chance to do some fun schtick , such as his turnaround on wellington's plans for a poor neighborhood hospital ( 'bullet in the head ? 
you got a bed ! ' ) , but he's uneven when interacting with the rest of the cast . 
regina taylor fares well amidst the mediocrity as the young activist who confusedly ends up falling for the man she believed to be her nemesis . 
also good is frankie faison ( " hannibal " ) as whitney , lance's compassionate manager - the only human who's made privy to lance's body body switch . 
chaz palminteri and levy are pretty much wasted as heaven's ambassadors . 
another " best in show " alumnus , jennifer coolidge , is poorly used as wellington's cheating wife ( and shown several days apart wearing the same outfit ? ! ) and greg germann ( tv's " ally mcbeal , " " sweet november " ) continues display his sitcom roots as her lover and husband's lawyer . 
mark addy ( " the full monty " ) is sorely underutilized as cisco , wellington's fake english butler . 
stealing the show in every scene she's in is wanda sykes ( " the chris rock show " ) as wellington's disgruntled maid . 
 " down to earth " is for chris rock fans only . 
all others should go rent " heaven can wait " or truly be brought down to earth .
what would you do if no one could see you ? 
well , if you're a super smart bio-molecular research scientist working for the military , you'd grope a co-worker and rough-up your neighbor from across the street . 
that's right . 
of all the non-criminal possibilities brought about by rendering oneself invisible , in " hollow man " kevin bacon's character opts to commit sex crimes . 
er , it's kevin bacon who plays the super smart military bio-molecular research scientist ? 
something sounds horribly wrong already . 
but this is a paul verhoeven film , and the sleazepin director of such open-crotch classics as " basic instinct " and the infamous " showgirls " never lets a little credibility get in the way of his voyeuristic tendencies which , when you come right down to it , is all this film is about . 
 " hollow man " features a string of hapless , c-list actors ( among them bacon , elisabeth shue , josh brolin , and kim dickens ) in a grade-z plot with a lot of special effects that , frankly , don't look much better than those used in the 1933 version of " the invisible man . " 
oh bacon glistens when he gets wet all right and looks like a rather fatty side of cheap flank steak when he's attempting reentry but otherwise it's lots of " thermal " shots and inanimate objects ( elisabeth shue included ) bobbing around without any visible signs of support . 
since invisibility , once achieved , isn't much of an effect ( the actors spend half their time conversing with nobody and the other half of their time talking to each other--it amounts to much of a muchness ) , the director elects to wardrobe all of his female protagonists in loosely-buttoned sweaters so that the minute bacon's character gets invisible he can head straight for them . 
it's as if that fascinating concept--what would you do if no one could see you ? --is 
simply a verhoeven ploy to show some skin . 
as a horror film , " hollow man " is unsophisticated and disturbing ( in its intent , not its achievements ) and not worth your time or your hard-earned dollars . 
it's minor verhoeven--and even that's not saying much--and boy is it hollow .
apparantly money talks . 
 . 
 . 
and uses quite a bit of obscenities doing so ! 
i've always considered myself pretty open about the gratuity a film can possess , whether in language , violence , sex , or what have you . 
i find that this fact gives me a little more leverage to complain when a movie goes overboard , and money talks definitely does ! 
it's not so much that the movie swore nearly constantly ( and i mean constantly ! ) , but it swore so much that it seemed overly prominent and way too staged . 
perhaps if one character were foul mouthed , but in this film , everybody swears nearly every other word . 
money talks is about a black ticket scalper named franklin hatchett ( played less annoyingly than expected by chris tucker ) . 
franklin is your typical con-man and ends up with more than one person out to get him . 
when the plot finally gets underway , there's no less than three people ( or groups ) that want him , dead or alive . 
the frenchman who's somewhat responsible for franklin's escape from a prisoner-packed bus , a hoodlum whom franklin owes seven grand , and the cops who wrongly suspect him of murder . 
franklin's only hope : james russell ( charlie sheen ) , an investigative reporter for the local news who's out to prove himself a worthy journalist . 
james offers to help clear franklin's name if franklin will just allow him an exclusive report to help channel 12 conquer sweeps week . 
both of these elements are completely lost along the way however , and never do reappear . 
as expected , the odd couple of franklin and james do wind up friends at the end , which is another wasted element seeing as how they show no signs of becoming friends at any point along the way . 
there is just nothing original or intriguing about this film , and so many developments are either non-relevant , or just plain forgotten about . 
money talks is a paint-by-numbers movie that lacks any real involvment with the audience . 
frivilous dialogue , a predictable , flat storyline , and two-dimensional characters make money talks a reason to save your money .
plot : upon the realization that they are failing all of their classes , two roommates try to find a third roomie who will kill himself , since the school's charter automatically grants top grades to the roommates of any student who succeeds in suicide . 
critique : despite this film's interesting premise and dark subject matter , this movie sucks because it is unfunny , boring , and presents us with one of tom everett scott's worst acting performances . 
add that to a completely unsuccessful romance element , many lame and corny jokes , a long wait for the setup , and an ending that takes all the blackness out of this " black comedy " ( if you're gonna create a black comedy , don't chicken out in the end-see very bad things ( 8/10 ) for a perfect example ) , and you've got yourself a trite mtv creation worthy of its own subject matter . 
i barely laughed at any gags , found the bong element contrived and repetitive , and was horrified not to find any gratuitous nudity tossed anywhere in this movie ( if you're gonna make a bad college comedy , at least slap in some free t&a shots for the kids : ) . 
this one's not even worth the rental , fellas . 
skip it altogether ! 
little known facts about this film and its stars : during auditions for that thing you do ! , tom everett scott's first feature film role , director tom hanks was opposed to hiring tom because of the fact that scott could've passed for hanks 15 years ago . 
it wasn't until hanks' wife rita wilson saw the audition tape , and decided he was cute , that hanks decided to risk hiring scott . 
the actor who played scott cooper in this film , mark-paul gosselaar , is best known for having played the character of zack morris on tv's " saved by the bell " . 
his parents are dutch and named hans and paula . 
and who would've guessed that this is director alan cohn's first shot at directing a feature film ?
susan granger's review of " ghosts of mars " ( sony pictures entertainment ) 
horror auteur john carpenter ( " halloween , " " vampires " ) strikes out with this sci-fi eco-fable that's so bad it boggles the mind to imagine how the project ever got green-lit . 
the script by carpenter and larry sulkis appears to have been lifted directly from last year's " pitch black , " involving a violent prisoner who must be released from bondage so that he can help a small band of humans protect themselves from blood-thirsty , marauding aliens . 
in the year 2176 , there are 640 , 000 earthlings on mars , living in a matriarchal society led by a commander , played by pam grier . 
grier , pill-poppin' natasha henstridge , and some rookie mars police officers ( clea duvall , jason statham ) travel to the remote mining town of shining canyon to fetch " desolation " williams - that's ice cube - to bring him back to chryse city to stand trial for murder . 
but when they're besieged by demented , zombie-like , body-snatching miners , they readily free the scowling ice cube since they need him for protection . 
it seems a red cloud was released from a shining canyon cave and , soon after , most of the miners went bonkers as long-dormant remnants of an ancient martian civilization took over their minds and bodies , lopping off heads as " vengeance for anything that tries to lay claim to their planet , " according to a scientist ( joanna cassidy ) . 
carpenter uses so many flashbacks to tell the " night of the living dead " -like story that the idiotic plot gets incomprehensibly confusing . 
but you can easily predict each of the supporting characters who will be killed , along with the order of their elimination . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , " ghosts of mars " thuds to a laborious , bottom-of-the-barrel 1 . 
perhaps , indeed , there is a curse on mars films , if you recall two other duds : " mission to mars " and " red planet . "
plot : based on the wildly popular " jerry springer " tv show , this movie follows the lives of two groups of people before they make their bizarre appearances on the infamous program . 
one posse comes from the trailer parks and are to be featured in the " i slept with my stepfather " segment , and the other is based on some fly-girl whose girlfriends keep sleeping with her undevoted " dog " boyfriend . 
critique : the truth is that if i didn't have a day job , i would probably watch the real " jerry springer " show every day . 
i find it quite entertaining , despite its complete lack of redeeming value . 
having said that , the show itself is outrageous , funny , and always filled with goofy surprises , as opposed to this film which features no laughs ( is this a comedy or a drama ? ) , uninteresting and completely unbelievable one-dimensional stereotypes , and a contrived plot which bores us stupid all the way . 
i never thought i would utter the word boring in the same sentence as jerry springer , but this film is an absolute yawn-fest , despite offering various scenes featuring simulated blowjobs , lesbians , t&a and tv violence ( who would've guessed that ? ) . 
i wish they would have either a ) made this movie much , much funnier , or b ) turned it into a complete drama and given us a real perspective as to why people like this actually put themselves through these public forums of embarrassment . 
unfortunately , it doesn't seem as though screenwriter jon bernstein spent more than a drunken weekend watching real " jerry springer " reruns to complete his script , leaving us with a boring film , featuring no laughs , one-dimensional characters , and no fun whatsoever . 
little known facts about this film and its stars : jerry springer used to be the mayor of cincinnati , ohio . 
for this film , he won the 1999 razzie award for worst new star , tied with joe esterhas from an alan smithee film : burn hollywood burn .
i never understood what the clich ? " hell on earth " truly meant until very recently . 
i've just never experienced anything in my life which was so terrifying , so horrible , so monstrously deplorable that it justified being termed as " hell on earth " . 
after all , i've never been to war , i've never been the victim of any violent crime , i've never really been broken hearted , and i've never been audited ; so i really had no frame of reference as to people meant when they said that something was " hell on earth " 
then i saw cruel intentions . 
in a perfect world , i would be in charge of all the movie studios . 
the very first thing i'd do in this perfect world , would be to take every hollywood producer who thinks that setting any story in contemporary america with a 20-something cast playing teenagers and featuring a soundtrack ripped directly from mtv , and throw them in jail . 
but it wouldn't just be your average jail , not even a maximum security installation . 
i'd have these producers ( and everyone else involved in the production of these films ) put in front of a war crimes tribunal and forced to beg for mercy for their crimes against humanity . 
now you're probably thinking to yourself : " is this really how bad cruel intentions is ? " 
the answer is no . 
it's actually much worse . 
watching the cast of this motion picture atrocity try to act their way through roger kumble's awfully written script is probably a lot like stabbing yourself in the arm with a chainsaw and then pouring salt on the open wound . 
and then pouring acid on the salt . 
i don't know if kumble was trying to evoke comedy or tragedy out of his opening scene where marci greenbaum ( tara reid ) whines about having nude photos of her posted on the internet , but the only emotion i felt was sheer boredom . 
from that opening scene , where boring actor ryan phillippe tries to seduce tv actress swoosie kurtz , to the conclusion which i don't remember because i had practically fallen asleep ; cruel intentions is truly " hell on earth , " right up there with war and tax audits .
" showgirls " is the first big-budget , big-studio film to receive an nc-17 rating . 
and its release last year came at a time when senator bob dole and other politicans chastised the entertainment industry for promoting sex and violence . 
but if " showgirls " is any indication of hollywood's future , the folks in washington should focus their attack on a more dangerous threat to american values--bad moviemaking . 
 " showgirls " is a relentlessly exploitive look at the las vegas strip scene , and the film turns out to be just as trashy as its subject matter . 
director paul verhoeven and writer joe eszterhas , who collaborated on another shock-value project , 1992's " basic instinct , " follow the plight of a young woman ( teen tv star elizabeth berkley ) determined to make a name for herself as a topless dancer . 
it's a hackneyed premise to begin with , so not surprisingly , all of the stock characters are trucked out . 
there's the demanding producer . 
the loyal friend . 
the bitchy competitor . 
lest i forget the scummy club owner . 
of course , any attempt at character development or a coherent storyline is just window dressing for the film's main attraction--an endless parade of full-frontal nudity . 
unfortunately , " showgirls " doesn't satisfy in this department . 
verhoeven's slam-bang , in-your-face style of direction proves neither arousing nor erotic . 
to make matters worse , you'll be forced to sit through the movie's clothed scenes , which don't cover up for laughable acting and some of the most absurd dialogue ever spoken in film history . 
verhoeven and ezsterhas deserve credit for trying to break ground , but if it's adult entertainment you want , stay home and watch the playboy channel . 
you'll be the wiser for it .
here's a concept -- jean-claude van damme gets killed within the first ten minutes of the movie . 
now if that isn't enough to get you to finally see a van damme movie , i don't know what is . 
all sarcasm aside , it is certainly a different way to start a movie , of course a few minutes later we find out that the newly deceased had a twin brother -- so lucky us , we get to see more of jean-claude . 
van damme #1 works for the russian mafia in the united states and is killed by some of their operatives . 
van damme #2 is a police officer in france who finds out that he had a twin brother he never knew about after #1 gets killed in france . 
the remaining twin ( the french cop ) goes to the united states to find out who killed his brother and avenge his death . 
once there , he hooks up with his deceased brother's girlfriend , played by natasha henstridge , and the two of them set out to discover who the murderers are . 
jean-claude's acting abilities don't seem to be up to the usual lackluster standards in this movie . 
in other words , just in case you missed the sarcasm , his acting is worse than normal . 
on the upside , natasha henstridge is in this film , and she does what she did best in species -- she gets naked . 
sadly , this is probably the high point in the movie . 
she is actually a decent actress , but didn't improve as much as i thought she would after species . 
this is the typical van damme movie , with jean-claude doing a variety of high end martial arts moves on his opponents . 
nothing new here , and certainly nothing we haven't seen in every other van damme movie . 
simply put , there is absolutely nothing new about this movie . 
it has a retread plot -- this isn't the first time jean-claude has played twins . 
he still can't act . 
we all saw natasha's breasts in species ( although this is one repeat performance i'm not complaining about ) . 
this is pretty much like every movie that van damme has ever been involved in -- sub par .
deuce bigalow ( rob schneider ) cleans fish tanks . 
yeah , i didn't know that was a real job either . 
one of his customers is antoine leconte ( oded fehr ) , a successful gigolo . 
when antoine has to go to sweden for three weeks , he lets deuce use his house to look after an ailing $800 fish . 
fooling around , deuce sets fire to the kitchen and smashes a $6000 fish tank . 
after taking a try at one of antoine's clients and earning $10 , deuce decides to prostitute himself to raise the money to replace the fish tank before the fiery-tempered antoine returns . 
enter t . j . ( eddie griffin ) , a pimp for " man-whores , " who arranges for deuce to service an assortment of women whose imperfections keep them from dating . 
there's an enormous woman ( played by transvestite porn star chi chi la rue ) who hides food in her clothes . 
there's claire ( gail o'grady ) whose narcolepsy causes her to fall asleep every few minutes . 
tina ( torsten voges ) is so tall her face doesn't fit on the screen , and ruth ( amy poehler ) has tourette's syndrome and shouts obscenities without warning . 
finally there's kate ( arija bareikis ) whose sorority sisters secretly paid her fare . 
she seems perfect , and deuce quickly falls in love with her . 
 ( she does , we discover later , have an imperfection , but deuce decides it isn't important . ) 
deuce's life is complicated by a bothersome cop ( william forsythe ) looking for information on antoine and by kate's discovery of his man-whoring . 
however , neither threat generates much suspense . 
the formula is so familiar that we know how it will end from the start . 
 " deuce bigalow " is the first project from adam sandler's company happy madison , the formation of which assures that we'll be seeing the sandler style of comedy mass-produced at an increasing rate in years to come . 
be afraid . 
be very afraid . 
the good news is that sandler doesn't actually appear in " deuce " and that rob schneider and eddie griffin are funnier than sandler . 
schneider has a sweetness that makes the clueless but good-hearted deuce believable . 
griffin's delivery is dead-on , especially in the coining of " technical terms " for t . j . 's profession , as in " don't make me he-bitch man-slap you ! " 
there's the expected amount of toilet humor in " deuce . " 
 ( for one thing , deuce's dad is a men's room attendant ) . 
does anyone over the age of eight actually find bowel movements that funny ? 
for most of us , i think that childhood fascination with bodily functions disappears when we hit the far-side of puberty and discover how funny sex is . 
i , for one , will be glad when the toilet trend is finally flushed . 
bottom line : " deuce " doesn't offer anything new but it is intermittently funny .
this is your definitive " hollywood " movie , extremely predictable , following the basic formula ( a horrible ending ) , overzealous writing ( meaning the writing was bad and seemed as if it were trying too hard to make it exciting , therefore making it look as if many things were merely tossed in there to fill space ) and if tommy lee jones and his lovable wise-ass character ( of which we've seen before in the fugitive and quite frankly , wasn't used enough here ) , i'm afraid the film would have been completely unbearable . 
in this film , ashley judd plays a women who is wrongfully convicted of killing her husband while out sailing for a weekend . 
while in jail she finds out that her husband really is alive and that he framed the murder on her . 
over money ( how original ) . 
while in jail she works out , exercises and basically does her best to get into near perfect condition . 
now she has learned about a law titled " double jeopardy " stating that if she serves her full sentence and get out she could kill her husband and the law could not touch her ( although there has been talk that this is not the way the actual law works ) . 
now her po ( parole officer ) , and a bunch of cops are chasing after her and are conflicted whether or not to believe her claims . 
skipping over to the acting : the fact that judd is more of a looker than an actress ( no offense , she has been good [simon birch] and even very good to great [kiss the girls] at times , in the past and i believe may have the potential to be better . . . 
but she's terribly unconvincing in this and her performance seems stale and unsatisfying ) doesn't really add to the movie at all ; just takes away . 
as i'd said , jones was fine , although he did not have much to work with . 
he was much more of a supporting character . 
which is fine , and he handled it well ; especially considering the material he had to work with . 
i feel this film had alot going for it . 
originality not being an issue . 
the acting was the only thing ( as i said ) keeping it alive . 
the plot seemed pretty intriguing and could have been as well if applied better . 
the action scenes were well made ( however sometimes out of place ) . 
i was just left unsatisfied in the long run . 
so basically some of the action may have been exciting but genuinely over-thought , the plot has certainly been done before ( generally speaking ) , the movie moves way too fast for us to get involved in either the characters or the plot , and is basically a film that was almost saved by tommy lee jones , who if he had some more screentime , could perhaps have earned the film a higher rating ; in my book , anyway . 
keep this in mind , if you're in the mood for a good action film -- rent the fugitive . 
d+