movie reviewers have an obligation to see the good , the bad , and the despicable . 
i originally wrote this review for my college newspaper back in '95 , but i wanted to re-write it because not all retro reviews should be about the classics . 
we need to be warned about some truly awful films , too . 
this picture was so bad , it inspired the description for my 1/10 rating ( see ratings chart below ) . 
the only thing saving it from a 0/10 rating is that being able to rent a movie like this is slightly less embarassing than renting a porno . 
so , it does indeed have some plusses . . . 
in fairness , elizabeth berkley is certainly worth seeing in the buff . 
and her ability to whine and irritate us , even while nude , was appropriate in her role as selfish temptress nomi malone . 
this character is not smart , not interesting , and ( deliberately ? ) 
far too annoying far too often . 
like in 1998s " bulworth " , when the movie was over i didn't care one little iota about the main character . 
at least warren beatty tried to make a statement with his dreary and overrated film , though . 
 " showgirls " is too stupid to make a statement . 
some people claim that the story is based on the legendary " all about eve " of all things ! 
if exploitation expert joe eszterhas was half the screenwriter that joseph l . mankiewicz was , he'd be . . . well , 
he'd be a good screenwriter . 
instead , this project may have sunk his career . 
he wrote the ( ha ha ! ) 
script and the usually reliable paul verhoeven directed . 
the same team who created a good sex-film in 1992 ( " basic instinct " ) struck out here with their occasional violence , gratuitous x-rated sex scenes , and numerous ( and quite unnecessary ) lesbian overtones . 
the predictable storyline revolves around nomi streaking into las vegas to make it big as a dancer . 
after the supposed street-smart young " lady " gets conned out of her suitcase by a slack-jawed yokel in the opening sequence , she befriends a tailor of the glamorous stage production at the " stardust hotel " . 
nomi doesn't take advantage of this contact to break into the big-time of dirty dancing right away . 
first , she becomes a lap dancer at a scummy strip club . 
she sells her hot little wares at " the cheetah " for a short time , turning on the fictitious customers and the actual theatre audience . 
hey , i never said she wasn't a hot number . . . 
maybe it's that , her body , which gets her into the big-time when the star of the " stardust hotel " , crystal connors ( gina gershon ) stops into the strip club ( it certainly isn't her brains or pleasant disposition ! ) . 
crystal requests a private lap dance for her boyfriend ( kyle maclachlan ) . 
he also happens to be the pleasure-seeking worm who runs the big show . 
crystal gets nomi onto the " stardust " team and , after an interminable amount of time , nomi " earns " the role of crystal's understudy . 
the slut then deliberately injures and hospitalizes crystal . 
it was almost laughable that nomi had the guts to claim that she's " not a whore " . 
that's a phrase we hear a few different times and it's completely ludicrous . 
of course she is ! 
she sells her soul to make it big , but in the end we're supposed to believe that she's a better person than that . 
we're supposed to root for her . 
no way ! 
she's a tramp and a back-stabber who deserved nothing--least of all vindication in the . . . ahem . . . climax . 
she is not a good person and they take over two hours to explain that the audience should think that she is . 
the sub-plot with a male dancer ( glenn plummer ) who claims to see talent in nomi is just a gratuitous opportunity to let her dance naked a little bit more . 
it sure ain't character development ! 
plummer also appeared in " speed " in '94 in a smaller , yet better role . 
this sub-plot goes absolutely nowhere except maybe to deliver an unsubtle hint that fornicators should practice birth control . 
kyle maclachlan must have been promised a big pay-day or his standards have dipped since appearing in " blue velvet " . 
that picture was weird , but some critics claim it's one of the best movies of the '80s . 
now ol' kyle can say that he acted in one of the worst of the '90s , too . 
his sleazy character is important to " showgirls " , but we don't learn anything about him . 
he uses people to get what he wants , but that only means that he fits in well with the other characters in this movie . 
is he a villain ? 
who cares ! 
ultimately , this movie is as tiresome as it is explicit . 
everyone must know by now about the soft-core acts of copulation , especially the riotous romp between berkley and maclachlan in his pool . 
what few reviewers take issue with is how mean-spirited this movie is . 
everyone's either having sex , exacting revenge , or wishing they were having sex or exacting revenge . 
it's just too hard to take ( especially for over two hours ) . 
if we must be exposed to the evils of the vegas world , why couldn't verhoeven have also made a point of highlighting the whispers , grunts , and other sounds during the dance numbers ? 
it's hard to care about these people if we can't even appreciate what they're capable of doing on-stage . 
berkley may have a future in hollywood because she can dance and she has a great body . 
after all , the world of porn is still an active , dishonourable profession . 
perhaps berkley could join their ranks and leave the real acting to pauly shore and cindy crawford . 
oops , they're bad actors , too . 
well , at least , they're not selfish and contemptable like good ol' slutty nomi malone . 
useless trivia--ironically , elizabeth berkley played virtuous and " holier than thou " jessie on the teeny-bopper tv show , " saved by the bell " , before breaking onto the big screen .