Muslim millennial and single: A generation struggles to find love
Osman Aslam
Osman Aslam  has tried the apps.
On Minder   he  wrote  he  enjoys hiking  going on long drives and spending time with  his  family. On Muzmatch  another option for Muslim singles   he  described  his  ideal partner as well-educated  ambitious and funny.
So on a recent winter day  armed with a pale purple dress shirt and purple tie   he  flew 300 miles south from  his  home in Stockton  Calif.  rented a car and booked a hotel room.
 Osman Aslam  at  his  workplace in Stockton  Calif. (Brian Flaherty/For The Washington Post)
Because practicing Muslims typically shun dating or sex before marriage  the banquets offer a possible  if imperfect  solution to what young Muslims in America say is an irksome problem: âItâs really hard to meet someone in this culture â  Osman  said.
 Osman Aslam  at  his  workplace in Stockton  Calif. (Brian Flaherty/For The Washington Post)
âI keep telling  her  to get marriedâ
In  Osman âs view   his  parents are an example of the kind of couple that âjust grew to love each other.â
But even though they have lasted â raising three boys in northern California and climbing from the bottom rungs of the economic ladder into middle class prosperity â theirs is not the marriage  Osman  wants.
 Osman  wants to fall in love.  He  wants to marry  his  best friend.  He  wants that person to be a Muslim and a Pakistani American â but not a Pakistani.  He  wants someone like  him  who was born and raised in the United States to immigrant parents  someone who is âon the same page.â
Three-quarters of American Muslims are immigrants or the children of immigrants  and in many ways  Osman  is emblematic of an American minority at a generational crossroads.
 Osman  considers  himself  âfairly religious.â  He  does not drink or smoke;  he  does not date â  he  âwouldnât know where to begin â  he  says; and  he  sees Islam as central to  his  life and identity.  He  has never really known  his  parentsâ Pakistan  but  he  values  his  heritage and shares their desire to carry it on.
 Osman âs parents think  he  is too picky  and they have been laying on the pressure since  his  older brothers got married.
 He  felt optimistic about this matrimonial banquet.
âWow â  he  thought  surveying the room. âIâm going to meet a lot of people.â
The other singles had come from all over: California  Maryland  Texas and Canada. Each pairing had three minutes to talk â barely enough time to accomplish anything   Osman  soon realized â but many had come carrying the same frustrations about the search.
[TGT] has tried the apps.
On Minder    [TGT]   wrote   [TGT]   enjoys hiking  going on long drives and spending time with   [TGT]   family. On Muzmatch  another option for Muslim singles   he  described  his  ideal partner as well-educated  ambitious and funny.
So on a recent winter day  armed with a pale purple dress shirt and purple tie   he  flew 300 miles south from  his  home in Stockton  Calif.  rented a car and booked a hotel room.
  [TGT] at   [TGT]   workplace in Stockton  Calif. (Brian Flaherty/For The Washington Post)
Because practicing Muslims typically shun dating or sex before marriage  the banquets offer a possible  if imperfect  solution to what young Muslims in America say is an irksome problem: âItâs really hard to meet someone in this culture â   [TGT] said.
  [TGT] Calif. (Brian Flaherty/For The Washington Post)
âI keep telling   [TGT]   to get marriedâ
In   [TGT]  âs view    [TGT]   parents are an example of the kind of couple that âjust grew to love each other.â
But even though they have lasted â raising three boys in northern California and climbing from the bottom rungs of the economic ladder into middle class prosperity â theirs is not the marriage   [TGT] wants.
  [TGT] wants to fall in love.   [TGT]   wants to marry   [TGT]   best friend.   [TGT]   wants that person to be a Muslim and a Pakistani American â but not a Pakistani.   [TGT]   wants someone like  him  who was born and raised in the United States to immigrant parents  someone who is âon the same page.â
Three-quarters of American Muslims are immigrants or the children of immigrants  and in many ways   [TGT] is emblematic of an American minority at a generational crossroads.
  [TGT] considers   [TGT]   âfairly religious.â   [TGT]   does not drink or smoke;   [TGT]   does not date â   [TGT]   âwouldnât know where to begin â   [TGT]   says; and   [TGT]   sees Islam as central to  his  life and identity.  He  has never really known  his  parentsâ Pakistan  but  he  values  his  heritage and shares their desire to carry it on.
  [TGT]  âs parents think   [TGT]   is too picky  and they have been laying on the pressure since   [TGT]   older brothers got married.
  [TGT]   felt optimistic about this matrimonial banquet.
âWow â   [TGT]   thought  surveying the room. âIâm going to meet a lot of people.â
The other singles had come from all over: California  Maryland  Texas and Canada. Each pairing had three minutes to talk â barely enough time to accomplish anything    [TGT] soon realized â but many had come carrying the same frustrations about the search.