STASI: The only winner in 2017 is Donald Trump
The two biggest stories of the year â the ongoing turmoil of the presidency and the massive sexual misconduct allegations against the most powerful men in America begin and end with  one man: Donald Trump .
 The Donald  promised to grab âem by the p---y  and instead grabbed us all by the b---s  winning the 2016 election against impossible odds and an equally impossible candidate  Hillary Clinton.
 Donald  had bullied Hillary out of the presidency and Hillary had big-moneyed Bernie out of the candidacy.  Donald ?  He  was in favor of both.
Within seconds of winning the electoral vote and losing the popular vote by nearly 3 million   Trump  began Making America Grate Again by trying to return America to the âgood old daysâ â 1860 â when blacks knew their place  (âLook at my African-American over here!â)  coal was king and women were chattel.
Proudly uninformed of the law   he  fired the FBI director  lied that  his  dopey son-in-law Jared Kushner and even dopier son Donald Jr. hadnât met with Russian operatives  kowtowed to election-interloper Vlad the Impaler Putin who allegedly has tape of  Trump  doing nasty things with Russian hookers  created a bigotsâ travel ban  defended white supremacists  turned brother against sister  made fake Time magazine covers of himself  hired and fired half the unfit humans on Wall Street  engaged in petty Twitter wars worthy of movie mean girls  announced that what we need is some good old global warming  passed a tax bill that will  as promised  make his rich friends a lot richer  embarrassed himself with world leaders  twitter-threatened nuclear holocaust  declared the return of âMerry Christmasâ and recognized Jerusalem as the capital of Israel which  in turn  caused Jesusâ home town of Nazareth to cancel all Christmas celebrations.
The only winner in all this is  again  improbably  Donald Trump. Heâs got 19 sexual misconduct allegations against him. Those guys lost everything and he won the presidency.
8. F*%#ing (as interpreted by the White House): Rex Tillerson on  Trump : âF*%#ing moron.â  Ivanka Trump  on Steve Bannon: âF*%#ing liar.â Anthony Scaramucci on Reince Priebus: âF*%#ing paranoid schizophrenic.â Un-f*%#ing believable.
Kellyanne Conway kneeling on a couch in a dress in the Oval Office  where leaders from historically black colleges and universities met with  Trump  in February. (BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP/Getty Images)
The two biggest stories of the year â the ongoing turmoil of the presidency and the massive sexual misconduct allegations against the most powerful men in America begin and end with  one man: Donald Trump .
 The Donald  promised to grab âem by the p---y  and instead grabbed us all by the b---s  winning the 2016 election against impossible odds and an equally impossible candidate  Hillary Clinton.
 Donald  had bullied Hillary out of the presidency and Hillary had big-moneyed Bernie out of the candidacy.  Donald ?  He  was in favor of both.
Within seconds of winning the electoral vote and losing the popular vote by nearly 3 million    [TGT]   began Making America Grate Again by trying to return America to the âgood old daysâ â 1860 â when blacks knew their place  (âLook at my African-American over here!â)  coal was king and women were chattel.
Proudly uninformed of the law   he  fired the FBI director  lied that  his  dopey son-in-law Jared Kushner and even dopier son Donald Jr. hadnât met with Russian operatives  kowtowed to election-interloper Vlad the Impaler Putin who allegedly has tape of   [TGT]   doing nasty things with Russian hookers  created a bigotsâ travel ban  defended white supremacists  turned brother against sister  made fake Time magazine covers of himself  hired and fired half the unfit humans on Wall Street  engaged in petty Twitter wars worthy of movie mean girls  announced that what we need is some good old global warming  passed a tax bill that will  as promised  make his rich friends a lot richer  embarrassed himself with world leaders  twitter-threatened nuclear holocaust  declared the return of âMerry Christmasâ and recognized Jerusalem as the capital of Israel which  in turn  caused Jesusâ home town of Nazareth to cancel all Christmas celebrations.
The only winner in all this is  again  improbably  Donald Trump. Heâs got 19 sexual misconduct allegations against him. Those guys lost everything and he won the presidency.
8. F*%#ing (as interpreted by the White House): Rex Tillerson on  [TGT]  : âF*%#ing moron.â  Ivanka  [TGT]   on Steve Bannon: âF*%#ing liar.â Anthony Scaramucci on Reince Priebus: âF*%#ing paranoid schizophrenic.â Un-f*%#ing believable.
Kellyanne Conway kneeling on a couch in a dress in the Oval Office  where leaders from historically black colleges and universities met with  Trump  in February. (BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP/Getty Images)