Directory Wellness A-Z Community Sign Up Free Log In Directory > Blog > 8 Things Happy People Avoid 8 Things Happy People Avoid BY JANET VALENTY Happiness is not something that just magically happens for some people but not for others. The way you view yourself, others, and the world around you is the key your own happiness. If you genuinely want to be happy more often than you are, you CAN make changes necessary to bring about that peace. Although everyone has bad periods in their lives that can last from hours to even months at a time, those who are chronically unhappy cling continually to these 8 bad habits that prevent happiness. 1. Focusing on the Negative People who see mostly what's negative all around them tend to be mostly miserable. If you put most of your attention expecting negative outcomes, you are likely to keep yourself unhappy. Fix: While it is true that bad things do happen, in order to be happy you need to accept that both bad and good are the way of the world. Good and bad happen to everyone. You don't have a monopoly on one or the other. So, when something bad happens, feel it, fix it if you can, and then, instead of rehashing the negative circumstance, turn your focus to something good around you. When you learn to turn your attention to the good things, you will experience happiness. Click the link below for #2 Next Page 11/23/2021 9:00:00 AM Written By Janet Valenty Former medical technologist with extensive drug testing and clinical chemistry experience. Traded the white coat for a business suit as Director of Marketing of a leading clinical lab with two billion in revenues and left that way back in the 90's. These days, doing more reading and publishing when not chasing grandchild... View Full Profile Comments Add A Comment How bizarre that some comments are bitter or political. Laughing at those people right now. They are wallowing and will continue to wallow in their misery, their sanctimonious superiority. In the meantime, the rest of us WILL get on with our joy and happiness--two different things, as many of us know. Another item I would add to the list is carrying grudges, holding on to resentments. I always say I have so many real burdens on my back I don't have room to carry a grudge. Let go! Chin up! Carry on! You are not responsible for the misery, ugliness inside of others. Tend your own garden. Bear fruit. Share fruit. And keep on moving forward. POSTED BY PEACHES Reply What Crap! POSTED BY TLM BUSH Reply This list looks like every progressive I have ever known. POSTED BY GRAYWOLF12 Reply This list is so valid! POSTED BY MONIQUE CHAMBERS Reply This list is priceless. I stayed in an abusive, painful marriage for 36 years. All that time I saw myself as a victim but what I did was wallow in self pity and I got so sick (both mentally and physically) that my doctor asked me point blank if I wanted to die. It was like he slapped me in the face. Did I want to die? At that point I thought I did. But I began to see I couldn't save my husband or my son and I walked out. (I had warned my ex for years that if I left I would never come back. Since I had threatened to leave for so long I don't think he believed I ever would. But I started on a new path where I incorporated the 'fixes' listed in this article. It'm now almost 16 years past the day I walked out and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. I keep telling my son that he is responsible for his own happiness. He can't get it from a relationship - it has to start with HIM. He's miserable all the time - and this is 4 years past the end of his second marriage (he's 42). I wish others well in their journeys in life. May you find what makes you happy and grab it and hold on tight. Life is a one way street - we get no more do-overs - so make the best you can of your life!! POSTED BY PAMROJO Reply Agree Completely POSTED BY MICHELLE HOPKINS Reply Thank you POSTED BY GENEVA Reply #2 is my nemesis! But I learned something here - it's not just too-high expectations that get in the way of happiness. It's all expectations. Wow. That was an eye-opener! POSTED BY JAMIE Reply Hi Jamie, #2 was a tough one for me too and why it's high on the list. Fortunately I finally learned it in my mid 30's. I remember it being one of those AH HA moments in my life. When I finally really 'got' it, it created tremendous relief as the 'expectation' that things should always go as I wanted them to, was released. Thank you Jamie, for sharing with us! POSTED BY JANET VALENTY Reply I've discovered that every time something bad happens, at least two good things are right behind, if I look for them. Sometimes there are as many as five blessings following something negative! Keeping your eyes open for them helps change your focus, and thus your attitude. When I find myself judging someone harshly, I try to find something I can honestly compliment them on, and then I sincerely give them that compliment. This is another way to change your focus and attitude. :) POSTED BY JMM Reply Agree completely! POSTED BY MICHELLE HOPKINS Reply Valuable insight. Thank you JMM POSTED BY JANET VALENTY Reply I'm going to send this out to my unhappy friend and ask her if she thinks it sounds like me. (it sounds like her of course LOL) POSTED BY KYLE Reply Ya, when the mind reading starts up, that's my queue to crack open a beer and put my headphones on! POSTED BY JP Reply Great suggestion! I do own headphones and never leave home without them! POSTED BY MICHELLE HOPKINS Reply The big one here for me is mind reading. I hate to admit it but it's true. 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