Follow us: hu Improving life after brain injury Need to talk? 0808 800 2244 Donate Home About brain injury Individuals Brain injury and me Mourning lost relation... Share your story Share your story with us to help others affected by brain injury Mourning lost relationships They’ve given me hope that in time I will once again be happy I didn’t understand the impact my accident had on my life and those around me, I left hospital with very little support and had to adjust to a life that I didn’t recognize or understand. Not being able to understand who you are in your own body is something that I just could not accept, I would look in the mirror and the person staring back wasn’t someone I knew anything about. My health became my main priority, I wasn’t well enough to fight to save my marriage, go to work or see certain friends and family. Everything had their own box, my head, my marriage, my day-to-day life but it was my head that I was so desperate to fix. I became distant, pushed the people closest to me away, I thought I knew what was right, when in reality I couldn’t understand what emotions were or even what was happening to me. The confident, outgoing, full of smiles and 100mile an hour girl I once was, became shy, too scared to talk, snappy and the complete opposite to the person I once was. I was so desperate to try and feel something, something that felt normal. I am still to this day trying to figure out what emotions are what and being able to deal with them. The only difference to who I am now is that I am learning to accept the changes that have been forced upon me. Zalehka (second from left) with her close friends I don’t think I will ever fully be able to understand what’s happened but I’ve learnt very quickly that the more you fight against it, the harder it is on your general wellbeing. Zalekha with her supportive mum There isn’t a magic wand and I’ve lost a lot from my life in the early stages of my recovery, things that I will never be able to change or get back In my head I was made to feel as if I had made the whole situation up, so to hear from doctors and Headway tell me that what I was feeling was normal for a brain injury, instantly stopped me feeling so isolated from the rest of the world. Certain relationships have changed. The ones that are no longer there, I think will forever be a part of me that I will never be able to change. I feel almost helpless, I know they were a big part of me and only now I look back and question who I am or who I was then. I knew that in time within my recovery, I would mourn what once was but I never thought I would always feel guilty for wanted to get better. For wanting my head to return to what it once was. Only time has shown me that what was once me is no longer the person I am. The ones that stand by me i.e. my mum and certain friends that have understood that unfortunately the person I was to who I am today are two different people. They have made me appreciate the relationships I have, they’ve made me see who actually wants to be a part of my life. I think they’ve understood who I’ve become more than I have. The best thing about the ones that stand by me is the fact they love me regardless of what has happened, who I’ve become or who I once was. They’ve given me the strength and the hope that in time I will once again be happy and become a better version of who I was. That is what pushes me every day, that in time I will be happy for who I’ve become. Back to stories index Headway launches new relationships after brain injury pack Find out more 7 top tips for helping your relationships after brain injury Find out more Syreeta Find out more Related resources Brain injury: a guide for friends Relationships after brain injury Friends of Headway Individual membership Join/Renew Contact Us t: 0115 924 0800 e: enquiries@headway.org.uk Help us improve life after brain injury. Donate Improving life after brain injury 0808 800 2244 Call our free helpline 9am - 5pm, Monday to Friday. Or email helpline@headway.org.uk Join our online Community 27k Likes 25k Followers 3k Subscribers Privacy policy Cookies Terms & Conditions Accessibility Contact Us Resource centre Find a Headway Approved care providers Charity shops Fundraising comments, feedback and complaints Vacancies Join our mailing list Headway - the brain injury association is registered with the Charity Commission for England and Wales (Charity no. 1025852) and the Office of the Scottish Regulator (Charity no. SC 039992). Headway is a company limited by guarantee, registered in England no. 2346893. © Copyright Headway 2021 - Site designed and developed by MEDIAmaker By clicking 'Accept All Cookies’ you agree to the storing of cookies on your device. This will help us to offer the best possible experience and develop more of the information you need. Accept All Cookies Cookies Settings