Welcome to Trent PTS Working in partnership with the Self Referral Our Locations Contact Us Sometimes we all just need a little help, that’s ok! someone who used our services • Mar 21, 2021 You are worth far more than you will realise This blog is written by someone who recently used our services. You know it was not supposed to be like this. Life was all planned out. What the heck is happening to me? Something is going on. It must be a blip………. These were the thoughts racing through my mind but by the time these thoughts started I already knew there was a problem, but I had been hiding the truth behind reason. In my mind battling with logic, a logic that I’m a mid-40’s professional person, I am a man of stature; hell, I’m a former Army officer of 20 years, I’m trained to deal with anything. I’ve led men and women into war. I’m a man, I don’t buckle. I am a father and it’s my job to be the rock, not to be broken and weak. This isn’t real, it can’t be. I just need to man up and sort myself out. It’ll be ok……….. We all go through our own evolution of internal conflict, whether that be what outfit to wear for that first date, do I buy that teat, or something more significant. Internal conflict has always ran deep within me so the noises in my head were not new, but this time not a conscious noise but more a subtle, quite whisper in the back of my mind that I could not shake. A whisper that grew louder. Personally, I had always been a very assured person, able to deal with stress and thriving on pressure. In the recent months Id separated from my partner and whilst I had been in this situation before there was something different this time, something I could not understand, something that I couldn’t control and that scared me. Eventually, as is nature, the truth caught up with me and on a quiet Tuesday afternoon at work it happened. I had ordered a coffee at the canteen and was walking back across the site to my desk when I suddenly started crying. Within minutes I was shaking. The shaking got so bad that I had to use both hands to put my coffee down. Panic set in. What if someone saw. I quickly found an empty first aid room and sat down on the floor, shaking and crying uncontrollably. I’d never felt so lost, so alone, so scared, but in that moment of fear I found absolutely clarity. I was broken and needed help. What I learned about myself in that moment, there on the floor, would shape my future. I had realised very quickly that I didn’t know a lot of things, I didn’t know what was wrong with me, I didn’t know why, and I certainly didn’t know how I was going to fix things, but I knew right away that I needed help; in fact, I realised I had known that for some time. I thought deeply about perceptions, about what people would think, would this impact my career, how my daughter would react? All these things were racing through my head but in the same breath realised that the only thing that mattered was the only job I could not fail at, being a good dad. Because of that I knew I had to act. It was time to face my fears, then and there. It was time for honesty. I searched the internet and to be honest found it difficult to find a solution for what I wanted; not that I had a clue what I needed. I agreed some time off at work and called my GP for an appointment thinking that would be as good a place as any to start. Typically, he was on leave so I would have to wait a week for my appointment. In the intervening week I hid away, my mind racing, once again trying to convince myself that I just needed to rest for a while. By the time the appointment came around I had thought I’d cancel it as I was fine, I had had some sleep and admitted I had a problem, but time would sort that out. To this day I don’t know why but something made me go. In my head I was playing out a tick box exercise where I would go, maybe get a week off work to rest and just carry on as normal. In the surgery, as I began to try and explain to my GP what the issues was, I just broke down again, unable to get the words out, all the time thinking how do I explain to you how I feel when I cant explain it to myself? It’s impossible! The understanding given in that moment was amazing and instead of feeling ashamed and embarrassed as I thought I would, I actually felt empowered; more empowered than I had done in a very long time. I was not being judged, I wasn’t weak, I was just in need of help and this person may not of understood why but they certainly understood that. Having walked into the surgery in denial I walked out with my head held high and a sense of pride, for the first time in my life id just admitted I needed help. A corner had been turned, I was starting my journey…….. I will write further about my journey and the challenges I faced in later blogs. Having looked back on this time and reflected, for me there are some strong lessons to carry forward. Lessons that I hope can help others from suffering in silence. These are: Honesty. The first step to success in all walks of life is honesty but the hardest person in the world to be honest with is yourself. Nobody likes to know you’re lacking but the only way to improve anything is to know where you are. Never be afraid of admitting you have weaknesses that need work. The only way you improve anything is by working at it. Talking is extremely hard. If I had a pound for every time I heard or read the words ‘I’m here if you need to talk’ I’d be a very rich man. People genuinely mean that when it is said but the reality is that talking to someone when you can’t explain things to yourself is almost impossible. Try and not dwell on the explanation, just know that saying you are struggling is often enough to get the ball rolling. Trauma affects us all differently. No matter what you have been through in life your experiences are exactly that, yours. Don’t measure yourself on others as we all react and deal with stress, trauma and emotions differently. Strength is not moving past issues; strength is facing them head on. Pushing things to the back of your mind and moving on feels like strength at the time but from my experience it all comes back to haunt you in the end. Real strength is dealing with things, even if that opens you up to being vulnerable. In the end it may take time to heal but you can do it. Asking for help is ok. It really is. We are incredibly lucky to live in a very understanding and aware society where the stigmatism behind mental health is rapidly becoming a thing of the past. You will be surprised when you open yourself up to acceptance that you need help just how many people you know have been in a similar situation and have quietly been through their own journey. The most important thing in all this can often feel the opposite but remember, you are never alone, no matter how much it feels that way. There is always someone that cares, even if you don’t see it. You are worth far more than you will realise. Newer Post > < Older Post Share Tweet Share Mail Exercise and mental health by Charlotte Ward • 29 Nov, 2021 • Being active doesn’t necessarily mean having to go to the gym, or playing a sport; there are so many ways of doing physical activity, so find the one that works for you! But first, let’s break it all down. What is physical activity? How does it help and how much should you be doing? How to Support your Loved One with Alzheimer’s, While Looking After Yourself by Charlotte Ward • 05 Oct, 2021 • Alzheimer’s is a neurodegenerative condition that can be extremely taxing, on both the person diagnosed with it, as well as their loved ones caring for them. It is a global challenge, with nearly 50 million people living with dementia all over the world. September was World Alzheimer’s Month, but we should consider Alzheimer's all year round. This post wants to help carers know the signs and symptoms of Alzheimer’s and Dementia, as well as how to support yourself as a carer. Knowing the signs and symptoms Dementia can affect people differently, sometimes exhibiting the main symptoms, but sometimes not – which is especially seen in the early stages prior to diagnosis. Someone with dementia will most likely have cognitive symptoms which affect thinking and memory. They’ll usually have some problems with day-to-day memory, or concentrating, planning, or organising. For instance, they may have difficulties making decisions, or carrying out a sequence of tasks such as following directions. Some people also find following a conversation difficult, or they can’t find the right word to say. It’s also quite common for people to have trouble remembering the day or date, or they sometimes are confused about where they are. These sorts of issues are commonplace in people with dementia, and being supportive and providing a safe space to talk can help those struggling come to terms with their diagnosis. Try to avoid to keep testing someone on previous memories or people, nor should you remind them of when they remember memories incorrectly – this may cause greater distress. Different types of activities Of course, different people will enjoy different past-times but below are some suggestions for various activities to do with the one you care for. Ensuring that the activity is meaningful and enjoyable is important, as well as remembering that you don’t have to finish every activity – it’s alright to stop and pick up where you left off another day. Encouraging them as you both complete the activity together is also important to help with confidence and to stay active with their interests. Outdoor activities If the person you’re caring for enjoys being outdoors and in fresh air, doing activities outside can give them that contact with nature, plants and animals whatever the weather. Gardening is a good low intensity activity to do outside, but even just taking indoor-projects such as painting, drawing, or reading outside can make a difference. Walks around the neighbourhood or a local park can also be enjoyable activities to do outside, or going to get a coffee and a leg stretch. Walks in a memorable area can provide a sense of familiarity while getting a leg stretch, and there are also dementia-friendly organised walks. The link to the walks in Derbyshire: https://www.derbyshiredales.gov.uk/things-to-do/sports-health-activities/walking-for-health/dementia-friendly-walks. Guided walks in Nottingham: https://www.ageuk.org.uk/notts/our-services/exercise-and-physical-activity/best-foot-forward/ Musical activities Many people with dementia remember music lyrics and tunes even when their condition has progressed and it can trigger powerful memories and emotions. Playing tunes of musicals or composers can help those who have Alzheimer’s have a sense of familiarity and comfort, and be fun, engaging and relaxing. Games and activities Online games and activities can also be a good way to do projects that require fine motor skills without the frustration of not being able to fully do it. For instance, some people who enjoy arts and crafts may not be able to use scissors properly, or be able to glue without help from a carer; using apps on computers and tablets can be a way to work around the frustration and create digital masterpieces. Technology doesn’t always have to be used, card games and board games can also be a good way to have fun together. Some other activities to do together could include reminiscent projects, such as putting together photo albums or memory boxes with familiar items that have purpose and meaning. How to support yourself while being a carer 1. Make time for yourself Taking regular breaks and having time apart can be healthy for both you and the person you care for, and giving you that space to breathe and think. Remember to also be kind for yourself, support is available at Alzheimers.org’s Dementia Connect support line, which is specifically for carers. 2. Keep a daily routine Ensuring the wellbeing of your loved one is important, but so is the care of your own wellbeing! Including activities in your week that make you both happy such as light exercise, or listening to music can help the time pass by, and cope with difficult feelings such as anxiousness. It can also help to create some structure in your day by using a calendar or a memory board to plan activities such as outings or events and have an idea of how the day is going to run. 3. Keep Connected Staying connected, and using the support of friends and family can be extremely beneficial for mental wellbeing, and with the ongoing pandemic, it can be very easy to feel alone. Keeping in touch either by video chat, phone calls or emails can provide you with the space to talk about your emotions. Meeting face-to-face can also be a good way as we ease out of the pandemic and slowly get out more and see more people. 4. Stay healthy and active Eating a balanced diet is a key part of staying healthy; it can be fun if you try out new recipes with your loved one if possible and make them part of the experience. Staying active with exercise is also incredibly important for mental wellbeing. Dancing, gardening, yoga and walking are some good ways to implement daily exercise activities into your day and keep moving. If the person you care for enjoys spending time outdoors, you can both go for a walk in a local park for some fresh air and contact with nature as well as stretching your legs. What can I do? We encourage you, if you don’t already, to learn and educate yourself about dementia. Spreading awareness about the condition is a good way to reduce the stigma, provide people with accessible resources and educate those who have to care for a loved one with Alzheimer’s. Alzheimers.org has some fantastic resources such as print publications, accessible resources and practical tools. The link to see these resources is here: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-involved/world-alzheimers-month . There’s also a Dementia Connect support line which is manned by dementia advisers if you’re ever in need. Pandemic 101: University Life by Charlotte Ward • 13 Sep, 2021 • Blog about student mental health in relation to the pandemic and lockdown. Refers to seeking help, therapy services, wellbeing, and access to resources. Feelings of powerlessness, disconnected, and panic mentioned. When It's Time For That Chat by Charlotte Ward • 24 Aug, 2021 • Blog about opening up about mental health to family and friends, some barriers and advice that may be involved in that Good Mental Health is Possible, Even with ADHD by Reanne Checora • 16 Aug, 2021 • A blog about ADHD, anxiety, and depression. Talks about leaning into aspects of ADHD, embracing the natural tendencies, and not feeling shame around symptoms and behaviour. Also mentions of accommodation, treatment, medication, and different types of functioning. ADHD Treatments and Self-Help Options by Reanne Checora • 10 Aug, 2021 • A blog about ADHD, anxiety, and depression. This post talking about treatment options, including CBT or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, counselling, and medication. There is also mention of tips, advice, common life stressors and how to mitigate them, and how to manage ADHD symptoms generally ADHD and the Anxiety/Depression Cycle by Reanne Checora • 02 Aug, 2021 • A blog about ADHD, anxiety, and depression. The post talks about stress, low mood, shame, and mentions both coping and symptoms When I get older... by Dean Repper • 19 May, 2021 • Getting older should not be about getting less from life When we get older we still have emotions, we have feelings and our thoughts can turn to joy or distress. At any age it can be hard for us to express them. For some people they may also not have had many different experiences in life that would make it easier for us to deal with these emotions or we may have been told or learnt to be a lot more stoical. For some, it will be more likely they will experience depression, anxiety and loneliness as they get older. This is because people do not live in social groups anymore, our bodies start wearing down and our friends die. We can loose our life partners. It is important that we recognise as a society and as individuals it is ok to talk about our feelings, fears and often losses, not just of friends and loved ones but the roles that we may have once had. We need to get a good mix of self-care, have the medications that oil are joints or keep other conditions at bay and use talking therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy or counselling, to get the most out of life. Mental illness is a common experience in modern society and most people will go through this at some point in their lives, but the effects can be life-changing and hard to live with. There are many different treatments and therapies to use. For most people, mental health difficulties develop slowly over many years. Mental illness can affect anyone's ability to have a happy, healthy and successful life. With the right support, most people with a mental health problem get better. What are talking therapies? Our mental health is more important than ever – particularly because how we’re feeling mentally can have a big impact on how we feel physically. If you’re finding things tough and it’s affecting your mood and how you feel, then speaking to your GP is good place to start. Talking about your mental health can be daunting, but your GP will be used to having these conversations and won't judge you. They are there to help and will know what to do. There’s something called 'talking therapies', which can really start to help people who are feeling low, anxious or out of sorts. They can sometimes be referred to as IAPT (improving access to psychological therapies) or just psychological therapies. They involve talking to someone who is specially trained to help us manage our thoughts and feelings and the effect they have on our behaviour and mood. There are different kinds of talking therapies. The most common are Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and counselling. Cognitive behavioural therapy can help you by looking at and changing how you think and behave. It’s based on the idea that the way we feel is affected by our thoughts, beliefs and behaviour. Counselling lets you talk about your problems and feelings in a safe environment. Counsellors are trained to listen and empathise. They won’t give you advice but will support and guide you to understand your problems and deal with negative thoughts and feelings. Are talking therapies really for me? Talking is often the best way to start feeling better. It's not always easy to open up about our feelings, but there's a lot of truth in that old saying 'a problem shared is a problem halved.' Talking therapies are proven to work – and they can work particularly well for people who are older. Even if you've tried them before and weren't sure, you can give talking therapies another go. You may be put off by not having face-to-face appointments at the moment and having to do things by phone or video call, but you may be pleasantly surprised. Lots of older people have benefitted from talking therapies throughout the pandemic and have found that remote appointments have worked just as well for them Cognitive Behaviour Therapy & Counselling for NHS staff 16 Apr, 2021 • nhs staff wellbeing support nhs staff wellbeing support nhs staff wellbeing support As an NHS employee you can access psychological therapies Male Suicide by Trent PTS • 21 Mar, 2021 • The Silent Emergency More posts Working in partnership with the Working with Us Cookies Policy Privacy Statement Contact Us Accessibility Gender Pay Gap Report 2021 Need to talk to someone? Derbyshire 01332 265659 | Nottinghamshire 0115 896 3160 | Chesterfield 01246 387 498 Patient portal