Plan Your Visit! Masks Highly Recommended Library Closings: November 24 - 26 BLOG Facing Difficult Family During the Holidays Kate B. Friday, November 19 Share: SHARE ON FACEBOOK SHARE ON TWITTER SHARE ON LINKEDIN The carols, commercials, and TV shows flooding the airwaves currently want us to believe that “it’s the most wonderful time of the year.” We’re led to imagine that every family enjoys gathering together for a big holiday celebration – young children play well together, aunts and uncles engage in genial conversation, adult children and parents see eye-to-eye, in-laws welcome with open arms. And yet for many people reality is drastically different. Expectations are high, individuals are stressed, loved ones yell, and blame, and spread guilt. Many find the holidays a reminder of how their families are not like those portrayed on TV and have only begrudgingly agreed to attend a family meal. Scripps Health, an not-for-profit health care organization in California, recommends the following coping skills to deal with difficult family during the holidays: Adjust your attitude Have realistic expectations Keep potentially upsetting topics off-limits Accept that the only thing you can control is your reaction Don’t drink too much Get active Practice gratitude Practice tolerance Bring a happy reminder Take a deep breath – or five If you’re looking for other resources to help you prepare for a more enjoyable holiday with your relatives, one during which past rifts are mended and current hurts are managed, consider one of the following books. Filter by format Format Book When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives Adams, Jane, 1940- Published in 2003 xiv, 206 pages ; 22 cm Includes bibliographical references (pages [199]-200) and index. FIND BOOK Say This, Not That A Foolproof Guide to Effective Interpersonal Communication Alasko, Carl. Published in 2013 219 pages ; 18 cm FIND BOOK Coping with Critical, Demanding, and Dysfunctional Parents Powerful Strategies to Help Adult Children Maintain Boundaries and Stay Sane Allen, David M., 1949- author. Published in 2018 vi, 229 pages ; 23 cm Includes bibliographical references (pages 227-229). FIND BOOK The Highly Sensitive Person's Guide to Dealing with Toxic People How to Reclaim Your Power from Narcissists and Other Manipulators Arabi, Shahida, author. Published in 2020 vii, 194 pages ; 23 cm Includes bibliographical references. FIND BOOK Your Family, Your Self How to Analyze Your Family System to Understand Yourself, & Achieve More Satisfying Relationships with Your Loved Ones Blevins, William L. Published in 1993 viii, 174 pages : illustrations ; 23 cm Includes bibliographical references. FIND BOOK What More Can I Say? Why Communication Fails and What to Do About It Booher, Dianna Daniels. Published in 2015 xvi, 160 pages ; 19 cm Includes bibliographical references (pages 150-152). HOLD BOOK Connect Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues Bradford, David L., author. Published in 2021 viii, 302 pages ; 25 cm FIND BOOK The Five Languages of Apology How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships Chapman, Gary D., 1938- Published in 2006 280 pages ; 24 cm FIND BOOK When Sorry Isn't Enough Making Things Right with Those You Love Chapman, Gary D., 1938- Published in 2013 175 pages ; 23 cm FIND BOOK The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict Understanding Emotions and Power Struggles Fisher, Erik A., 1966- Published in 2004 xiii, 236 pages : illustrations ; 24 cm Includes bibliographical references (page [233]) and index. HOLD BOOK Extraordinary Relationships A New Way of Thinking About Human Interactions Gilbert, Roberta M. Published in 1992 xxii, 216 pages : illustrations ; 23 cm Includes bibliographical references (pages 172-179) and index. FIND BOOK Walking on Eggshells Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Their Parents Isay, Jane. Published in 2007 xvi, 240 pages ; 22 cm FIND BOOK Us Transforming Ourselves and the Relationships That Matter Most Oz, Lisa. Published in 2010 xv, 204 pages ; 24 cm FIND BOOK How to Raise Your Adult Children Because Big Kids Have Even Bigger Problems Parent, Gail. Published in 2010 xiii, 288 pages ; 24 cm FIND BOOK They're Your Parents, Too! How Siblings Can Survive Their Parents' Aging Without Driving Each Other Crazy Russo, Francine. Published in 2010 xvi, 286 pages ; 25 cm Includes bibliographical references (pages [269]-278) and index. FIND BOOK I Love You but I Hate Your Politics How to Protect Your Intimate Relationships in a Poisonous Partisan World Safer, Jeanne, author. Published in 2019 ix, 228 pages ; 22 cm Includes index. FIND BOOK I Only Say This Because I Love You Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Sibs, and Kids when You're All Adults Tannen, Deborah. Published in 2002 xxvii, 336 pages ; 21 cm HOLD BOOK Set Boundaries, Find Peace A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself Tawwab, Nedra Glover, author. Published in 2021 xix, 282 pages ; 21 cm Includes bibliographical references (pages 269-271) and index. HOLD BOOK It Didn't Start with You How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle Wolynn, Mark, author. Published in 2016 viii, 240 pages ; 24 cm Includes bibliographical references and index. FIND BOOK And if Uncle Eddie drinks too much and makes off-color comments, or Dad constantly brings up the mistakes you made in the past, or Grandma keeps asking when you’re going to settle down – try this box breathing technique to reduce anxiety. In stressful times you can use the power of your breath to help calm feelings of stress or anxiety. Box breathing is a simple relaxation technique that can help you ‘reset your breath’ and return it to its normal rhythm. This video demonstrates box breathing and highlights its benefits. AUTHOR Kate B. Assistant Checkout Manager Tags Book Recommendations Health Audience Adults Related Blog Posts Image BLOG A-maize-ing Corn Husk Dolls Image BLOG Whom Can You Trust?: Reliable, Factual COVID-19 Information Image BLOG COVID-19 Vaccination Sites & Information