Search Menu Please donate You are here: Home Information and advice Worried about someone? What to do if you’re worried about someone "Can we talk?" If you're feeling worried about someone, one of the best things you can do is talk it over with them. These pages are here to help you have that conversation. It can be worrying to see someone struggling as they get older. One of the best things you can do is talk it over together with the person you're worried about, discussing your concerns and listening to each other. Having those conversations isn't always easy. Family and friends can be deeply unsettled by signs that suggest a loved one isn't coping. Sometimes people find it difficult to have open conversations because they don't want to cause offence, or have strong emotions of their own, not wanting to acknowledge that a loved one is getting older and that they might lose them one day. Age UK spoke to people struggling with issues in their lives, as well as family, friends and professionals who work with them. We listened to their views and concerns and drew out some ideas for how you can talk to the person you're worried about. These pages are here to guide you through that process. You can come back to this information at any time you need to. Not able to talk to the person you're worried about? If you think they need some practical support that you can't help with, Age UK can provide information and advice on lots of issues - from housing to health. Call our advice line for free on 0800 678 1602, or contact your local Age UK. Call the advice line Find your local Age UK If you think someone is at immediate risk If there's an immediate risk of harm, call the emergency services on 999. If you're very concerned about someone's health or welfare but don't think it's an emergency, call 111 for NHS advice, 24 hours a day. In other situations you can contact the local council in the area where the person lives and raise an 'adult safeguarding' concern. This should be done with the consent of the person wherever possible. If that's not possible, or you feel that seeking consent would create more risk, then you can contact the council without the consent of the person at risk. Visit GOV.UK to find your local council What is safeguarding? I want to talk to the person I'm worried about. What should I do first? Before trying to help, it's best to be clear about what the problem is. Sometimes there's a really simple solution to a problem; for example, someone isn't eating properly because they're finding it too difficult to get to the shops. In which case, helping them to set up an online shop might be the best solution. But it's important to have that conversation and not make assumptions. If you're reading this, then the issue you're worried about might be more complicated. Perhaps the person you know seems not to be taking care of themselves or their home in the same way as they used to. Or you might have noticed changes in their personality or behaviour. It can be really helpful to take a step back and assess your worries objectively. We can help you do that. Assess your worries Things to consider It’s important to remember that if someone is able to make their own decisions (called having mental capacity), they have the right to make choices other people might think are unwise. If you believe that someone is not able to make their own decisions and this puts them at risk, speak to the adult safeguarding team at the local council in the area where they live. What is mental capacity? Let's recap A conversation is the best place to start. It's best not to try to 'fix' the problem or impose your views without listening to what the other person has to say first. If someone is capable of making their own decisions, you can't force them to do something. What next? Previous Assess your worries Put yourself in their shoes Are you the best person to help? Next 1 2 Become part of our story Facebook Twitter Youtube Instagram Sign up today Email address About Age UK What we do Work for us Age International Media / Press Latest news Who we are Services Age UK Advice Line Befriending services Charity shops In your area Popular pages Benefits Calculator TV licence concessions Pension Credit Making a will Latest The difference your support makes Fix care for good Save free TV for older people Support links Linking policy Terms and conditions Privacy policy Publications Cookies Safeguarding About us Sitemap Contact us Modern slavery statement Age UK, Tavis House, 1-6 Tavistock Square, London WC1H 9NA. Registered charity number 1128267. Company number 6825798. © Age UK Group and/or its National Partners (Age NI, Age Scotland and Age Cymru) 2021. All Rights Reserved