Follow us: hu Improving life after brain injury Need to talk? 0808 800 2244 Donate Home About brain injury Individuals Brain injury and me Mandy Donaldson Share your story Share your story with us to help others affected by brain injury Mandy Donaldson Don't struggle alone In 1975, three-year-old Mandy Donaldson waved goodbye to her dad from the bedroom window as he set off for work. When Mandy's mother heard a thud, she thought it was the postman knocking at the door. But Mandy had fallen from the first floor window of their Teeside home, sustaining a brain injury, fractured skull and broken arm. She was rushed to University Hospital of North Tees, before being transferred to James Cook University Hospital in Middlesbrough. "The doctor took one look at me and told my parents to make me comfortable because I would not make it through the day," said 45-year-old Mandy. "How wrong they were." Despite the bleak prognosis, after spending 14 days in a coma and several more months in hospital, Mandy was eventually sent home. But surrounded by people who didn't understand brain injury, and suffering from regular seizures, Mandy struggled through her formative years. "My schooling suffered terribly," she said. "I was quiet and kept myself to myself. My school reports said I must concentrate more, and ask for help if I needed it. But because I was a child, I didn't realise I was struggling." Mandy's parents were given no advice on caring for a child with a brain injury and brought her up as, in Mandy's words,"normal." They noticed things weren't right, but they didn't want to put pressure on me. They were just so grateful I had survived. They felt so lucky to have me. As Mandy grew up she continued to struggle with memory loss, fatigue and emotional outbursts. For many years, she simply accepted these traits as part of who she was, while working full time caring for people. When she was 35, Mandy moved away from her family to be with her new partner in Durham. "It did me good and bad," she said. "I started a college course because I wanted to train to do clerical work. But I found I was struggling to remember anything I learnt. I felt so low, like I couldn't go on." When Mandy went to her doctor and told him about her memory problems and childhood accident, she started to turn a corner. She was able to accept her brain injury and understand how it affected her. "Visiting the doctor was very hard because I had to go over my accident and start all over again. But it helped me a great deal. I started to accept that I have a brain injury and that I have a disability." An occupational therapist started visiting Mandy, teaching her methods to help her tackle her memory problems. "I had always pushed myself. But accepting my brain injury made me take a step back and decide not to put too much pressure on myself to achieve things." In 2010, Mandy met Alastair White, a network support manager for Headway who signposted her to Headway County Durham. She attended the group and was given Headway information booklets to help her understand her brain injury and what she was going through. At the same time, Mandy was supported by Momentum Skills, a charity that provides work placements, training and support to people living with brain injury. Mandy started two work placements doing clerical work. But Mandy was forced to give up the placements she enjoyed so much when her ESA payments were stopped and she had to look for work. "It was so disheartening to lose my benefits," she said. "It was horrible. My work placements were something I really wanted to do. "I remember after my benefits interview I felt absolutely wiped out. I had to concentrate so hard and afterwards I was so tired. "But I look normal, I can write my name, I can get dressed. I've been turned down for two disability benefit applications now." Mandy went back to her former career in caring, and for the first time in her life, she decided to tell her employers that she had a brain injury. "My employers are really supportive. I'm still hard on myself but I'm good at my job, I know I am." Mandy is happier now than ever. She accepts her brain injury, loves her job as a carer and takes everything one step at a time. "To anyone else who is struggling, I would say go to the doctors and get help," she said. "Don't struggle alone. Talk to your family. Talk to people who can help. If you keep the problems inside they will stew and get even worse." May 2021 update Due to the ongoing effects of her brain injury, Mandy unfortunately had to leave her job in April 2020. She decided to apply for benefits one last time, and with the right support and guidance, was successful. "My family and partner supported me through the fight with the DWP," said Mandy. "I had been turned down numerous times for PIP, but my mum tried one last time and contacted North Yorkshire County Council for help. They sent a support worker out who helped me get a blue badge, then last year I just felt I couldn't cope anymore with work. "My GP signed me off work with side effects of traumatic brain injury, and from then I asked my GP to refer me to the neurologist at York. I gave him my story and he said there is not much he could do, but he could refer me to see a Neuropsychologist to do an assessment on me, which I agreed to. Since getting the assessment done, it has helped a great deal. "I was granted PIP full points on both parts, also I was classed as having limited capability for work through the Jobcentre. It was been a long, tough battle, but so glad I decided to give it one last fight. Back to stories index Effects of brain injury Find out about some of the main difficulties that arise after brain injury, together with some suggestions as to how to deal with them. Find out more Welfare benefits A brain injury is likely to have an effect on a family's finances, and claiming benefits can help to ease the pressure. Find out more Supporting you From local groups or branches, our Emergency Fund, Brain Injury Identity Card, helpline and much more, find out how Headway can support you after brain injury. Find out more Friends of Headway Individual membership Join/Renew Contact Us t: 0115 924 0800 e: enquiries@headway.org.uk Help us improve life after brain injury. Donate Improving life after brain injury 0808 800 2244 Call our free helpline 9am - 5pm, Monday to Friday. 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