character_a,line_a,character_b,line_b
Fry,Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and the gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.,Fry,how you play the game!
Fry,how you play the game!,Boy,"You stink, loser!"
Boy,"You stink, loser!",Panucci,"Hey, Fry. Pizza goin' out! C'mon!!"
Panucci,"Hey, Fry. Pizza goin' out! C'mon!!",Fry,"Michelle, baby! Where you going?"
Fry,"Michelle, baby! Where you going?",Michelle,I put your stuff out on the sidewalk!
Michelle,I put your stuff out on the sidewalk!,Fry,"I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life."
Fry,"I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life.",Bike,Thief: Happy new year!
Bike,Thief: Happy new year!,Fry,Here's to another lousy millennium.
Fry,Here's to another lousy millennium.,Crowd,Ten!
Crowd,Ten!,Crowd,Neuf!
Crowd,Neuf!,Crowd,Otto!
Crowd,Otto!,Crowd,Saba!
Crowd,Saba!,Crowd,Eksi!
Crowd,Eksi!,Crowd,Wu!
Crowd,Wu!,Crowd,Char!
Crowd,Char!,Crowd,Thathu!
Crowd,Thathu!,Crowd,Nee!
Crowd,Nee!,Crowd,One!
Crowd,One!,Fry,What the--?
Fry,What the--?,Fry,"My God! It's the future. My parents, my co-workers, my girlfriend; I'll never see any of them again. Yahoo!"
Fry,"My God! It's the future. My parents, my co-workers, my girlfriend; I'll never see any of them again. Yahoo!",Terry,Welcome to the world of tomorrow!
Terry,Welcome to the world of tomorrow!,Lou,Why do you always have to say it that way?
Lou,Why do you always have to say it that way?,Terry,"Come, your destiny awaits!"
Terry,"Come, your destiny awaits!",Lou,Have a nice future.
Lou,Have a nice future.,Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Leela,Name?
Leela,Name?,Fry,"Uh, Fry."
Fry,"Uh, Fry.",Leela,"I'm Leela. Now, it's New Year's Eve so I'd like to decide your fate quickly and get out of here."
Leela,"I'm Leela. Now, it's New Year's Eve so I'd like to decide your fate quickly and get out of here.",Fry,Can I ask you a question?
Fry,Can I ask you a question?,Leela,As long as it's not about my eye.
Leela,As long as it's not about my eye.,Fry,Uh...
Fry,Uh...,Leela,Is it about my eye?
Leela,Is it about my eye?,Fry,Sort of.
Fry,Sort of.,Leela,Just ask the question.
Leela,Just ask the question.,Fry,What's with the eye?
Fry,What's with the eye?,Leela,"I'm an alien, alright? Now let's drop the subject."
Leela,"I'm an alien, alright? Now let's drop the subject.",Fry,"Cool, an alien! Has your race taken over the Earth?"
Fry,"Cool, an alien! Has your race taken over the Earth?",Leela,"No, I just work here."
Leela,"No, I just work here.",Fry,Wait a minute! Is that blimp accurate?
Fry,Wait a minute! Is that blimp accurate?,Leela,"Yep. It's December 31st, 2999."
Leela,"Yep. It's December 31st, 2999.",Fry,My God! A million years!
Fry,My God! A million years!,Leela,I'm sure this must be very upsetting for you.
Leela,I'm sure this must be very upsetting for you.,Fry,"Y'know, I guess it should be but, actually, I'm glad. I had nothing to live for in my old life. I was broke, I had a humiliating job and I was beginning to suspect my girlfriend might be cheating on me."
Fry,"Y'know, I guess it should be but, actually, I'm glad. I had nothing to live for in my old life. I was broke, I had a humiliating job and I was beginning to suspect my girlfriend might be cheating on me.",Leela,Interesting. Your DNA test shows one living relative. He's your great-great-great-great-great-great-great...
Leela,Interesting. Your DNA test shows one living relative. He's your great-great-great-great-great-great-great...,Leela,...great-great-great-great-great nephew.
Leela,...great-great-great-great-great nephew.,Fry,That's great! What's the little guy's name?
Fry,That's great! What's the little guy's name?,Leela,Professor Hubert Farnsworth.
Leela,Professor Hubert Farnsworth.,Fry,Eurgh!
Fry,Eurgh!,Fry,What's that?
Fry,What's that?,Leela,Your permanent career assignment.
Leela,Your permanent career assignment.,Fry,Delivery boy? No! Not again! Please! Anything else!
Fry,Delivery boy? No! Not again! Please! Anything else!,Leela,Take your hands off me! You've been assigned the job you're best at just like everyone else.
Leela,Take your hands off me! You've been assigned the job you're best at just like everyone else.,Fry,What if I refuse?
Fry,What if I refuse?,Leela,Then you'll be fired--
Leela,Then you'll be fired--,Fry,Fine!
Fry,Fine!,Leela,Out of a cannon into the Sun!
Leela,Out of a cannon into the Sun!,Fry,But I don't like being a delivery boy.
Fry,But I don't like being a delivery boy.,Leela,You gotta do what you gotta do. Now hold out your hand. I'm gonna implant your career chip. It'll permanently label you as a delivery boy.
Leela,You gotta do what you gotta do. Now hold out your hand. I'm gonna implant your career chip. It'll permanently label you as a delivery boy.,Fry,Keep that thing away from me!
Fry,Keep that thing away from me!,Leela,You've got until the count of five to let me out of here. One--
Leela,You've got until the count of five to let me out of here. One--,Fry,You owe me one.
Fry,You owe me one.,Fry,Whoa!
Fry,Whoa!,Man,#1: JFK Jr. Airport.
Man,#1: JFK Jr. Airport.,Man,#1.
Man,#1.,Fry,Um. Cross Town Express?
Fry,Um. Cross Town Express?,Man,#2: Pft! Tourist!
Man,#2: Pft! Tourist!,Fry,Wow! A real live robot! Or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?
Fry,Wow! A real live robot! Or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?,Fry,It doesn't look so shiny to me.
Fry,It doesn't look so shiny to me.,Bender,"Shinier than yours, meatbag!"
Bender,"Shinier than yours, meatbag!",Bender,"Listen, buddy, I'm in a hurry here. Let's try for a two-fer!"
Bender,"Listen, buddy, I'm in a hurry here. Let's try for a two-fer!",Booth,Voice: Please select mode of death: Quick and Painless or Slow and Horrible.
Booth,Voice: Please select mode of death: Quick and Painless or Slow and Horrible.,Fry,"Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call."
Fry,"Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call.",Booth,Voice: You have selected: Slow and Horrible.
Booth,Voice: You have selected: Slow and Horrible.,Bender,"Bring it on, baby!"
Bender,"Bring it on, baby!",Bender,"C'mon, c'mon! Kill me already! By the way, my name's Bender!"
Bender,"C'mon, c'mon! Kill me already! By the way, my name's Bender!",Fry,Help! What's happening?
Fry,Help! What's happening?,Booth,"Voice: You are now dead. Thank you for using Stop-N-Drop, America's favourite suicide booth since 2008."
Booth,"Voice: You are now dead. Thank you for using Stop-N-Drop, America's favourite suicide booth since 2008.",Bender,"Well, I didn't have anything else planned for today. Let's go get drunk!"
Bender,"Well, I didn't have anything else planned for today. Let's go get drunk!",Leela,"Two, three-- Hey!"
Leela,"Two, three-- Hey!",Terry,Welcome to the world of tomorrow!
Terry,Welcome to the world of tomorrow!,Leela,"Shut up, Terry."
Leela,"Shut up, Terry.",Ipgee,"This is unacceptable, Leela. You must find this Mr. Fry and install his chip."
Ipgee,"This is unacceptable, Leela. You must find this Mr. Fry and install his chip.",Leela,"Look, he's just a nobody who doesn't want to be a delivery boy. I'd really rather not force it on him."
Leela,"Look, he's just a nobody who doesn't want to be a delivery boy. I'd really rather not force it on him.",Ipgee,Life is good!
Ipgee,Life is good!,Fry,Why would a robot need to drink?
Fry,Why would a robot need to drink?,Bender,"So they made you a delivery boy, huh? Man, that's as bad as my job."
Bender,"So they made you a delivery boy, huh? Man, that's as bad as my job.",Fry,"Really? What do you do, Bender?"
Fry,"Really? What do you do, Bender?",Bender,"I'm a bender. I bend girders, that's all I'm programmed to do."
Bender,"I'm a bender. I bend girders, that's all I'm programmed to do.",Fry,You any good at it?
Fry,You any good at it?,Bender,"You kidding? I was a star! I could bend a girder to any angle: 30 degrees, 32 degrees, you name it! 31. But I couldn't go on living once I found out what the girders were for."
Bender,"You kidding? I was a star! I could bend a girder to any angle: 30 degrees, 32 degrees, you name it! 31. But I couldn't go on living once I found out what the girders were for.",Fry,What?
Fry,What?,Bender,"Well, Fry, it was a pleasure meeting you. I'm gonna go kill myself."
Bender,"Well, Fry, it was a pleasure meeting you. I'm gonna go kill myself.",Fry,Wait! You're the only friend I have!
Fry,Wait! You're the only friend I have!,Bender,You really want a robot for a friend?
Bender,You really want a robot for a friend?,Fry,"Yeah, ever since I was six."
Fry,"Yeah, ever since I was six.",Bender,"Well, OK. But I don't want people thinking we're robo-sexuals. So, if anyone asks, you're my debugger."
Bender,"Well, OK. But I don't want people thinking we're robo-sexuals. So, if anyone asks, you're my debugger.",Fry,Don't look! Don't look!
Fry,Don't look! Don't look!,Bender,I'm not looking!
Bender,I'm not looking!,Leela,This is officer 1B-DI requesting back-up.
Leela,This is officer 1B-DI requesting back-up.,Smitty,We'll be there in five minutes.
Smitty,We'll be there in five minutes.,Bender,We can hide in here. It's free on Tuesdays!
Bender,We can hide in here. It's free on Tuesdays!,Nimoy,Welcome to the Head Museum. I'm Leonard Nimoy.
Nimoy,Welcome to the Head Museum. I'm Leonard Nimoy.,Fry,Spock? Hey! Hey... Do the thing!
Fry,Spock? Hey! Hey... Do the thing!,Nimoy,I don't do that anymore.
Nimoy,I don't do that anymore.,Fry,This is unbelievable! What do you heads do all day?
Fry,This is unbelievable! What do you heads do all day?,Nimoy,We share our wisdom with those who seek it. It's a life of quiet dignity.
Nimoy,We share our wisdom with those who seek it. It's a life of quiet dignity.,Woman,Feeding time!
Woman,Feeding time!,Leela,"I'm sorry, Fry, but I have to install your career chip."
Leela,"I'm sorry, Fry, but I have to install your career chip.",Fry,"Yeah, well, if you're sorry why are you doing it?"
Fry,"Yeah, well, if you're sorry why are you doing it?",Leela,Watch it!
Leela,Watch it!,Nixon,That's it! You just made my list!
Nixon,That's it! You just made my list!,Fry,"Ow! Stop it! Down, boy! Bad president!"
Fry,"Ow! Stop it! Down, boy! Bad president!",Smitty,"Alright, buddy, step away from the head!"
Smitty,"Alright, buddy, step away from the head!",URL,on his ass!
URL,on his ass!,Leela,"Please, officers, there's no need to use force."
Leela,"Please, officers, there's no need to use force.",URL,"Let us handle this, weird-y."
URL,"Let us handle this, weird-y.",Leela,"Oh, come on, he's just a poor kid from the Stupid Ages."
Leela,"Oh, come on, he's just a poor kid from the Stupid Ages.",Leela,No-one makes fun of my nose.
Leela,No-one makes fun of my nose.,URL,Damn!
URL,Damn!,Leela,You guys were totally out of control.
Leela,You guys were totally out of control.,Smitty,It's our job. We're peace officers.
Smitty,It's our job. We're peace officers.,URL,"Yeah, you know the law: You gotta do what you gotta do."
URL,"Yeah, you know the law: You gotta do what you gotta do.",Bender,"Oh, we're trapped!"
Bender,"Oh, we're trapped!",Fry,"Wait a second. You're a bender, right? We can get out of here if you just bend the bars."
Fry,"Wait a second. You're a bender, right? We can get out of here if you just bend the bars.",Bender,"Dream on, skin tube. I'm only programmed to bend for constructive purposes. What do I look like, a de-bender?"
Bender,"Dream on, skin tube. I'm only programmed to bend for constructive purposes. What do I look like, a de-bender?",Fry,Who cares what you're programmed for. If someone programmed you to jump off a bridge would you do it?
Fry,Who cares what you're programmed for. If someone programmed you to jump off a bridge would you do it?,Bender,I'll have to check my program ... yep.
Bender,I'll have to check my program ... yep.,Leela,Open up!
Leela,Open up!,Fry,"C'mon, Bender! It's up to you to make your own decisions in life. That's what separates people and robots from animals ... and animal robots."
Fry,"C'mon, Bender! It's up to you to make your own decisions in life. That's what separates people and robots from animals ... and animal robots.",Bender,"You make a persuasive argument, Fry."
Bender,"You make a persuasive argument, Fry.",Fry,"Come on, Bender! You can do it."
Fry,"Come on, Bender! You can do it.",Bender,Can't ... I ... can't ... do ... it!
Bender,Can't ... I ... can't ... do ... it!,Fry,Yes!
Fry,Yes!,Bender,I want! I'm unstoppable!
Bender,I want! I'm unstoppable!,Fry,I don't know how you did that.
Fry,I don't know how you did that.,Leela,Wait!
Leela,Wait!,Bender,"No, thanks."
Bender,"No, thanks.",Bender,Looks like one of us will have to bend this grate.
Bender,Looks like one of us will have to bend this grate.,Fry,Good Lord! What is this?
Fry,Good Lord! What is this?,Bender.,"Welcome home, pal!"
Bender.,"Welcome home, pal!",Fry,"It's my old neighbourhood. Man, this brings back a lot of memories."
Fry,"It's my old neighbourhood. Man, this brings back a lot of memories.",Bender,"Keep 'em to yourself, Pops!"
Bender,"Keep 'em to yourself, Pops!",Fry,This is where I brought my girlfriend on our very first date.
Fry,This is where I brought my girlfriend on our very first date.,Fry,My God! She's gone. Everyone I ever knew or cared about is gone.
Fry,My God! She's gone. Everyone I ever knew or cared about is gone.,Bender,Wait! There's someone you know!
Bender,Wait! There's someone you know!,Fry,"Oh, can't you leave me alone? I'm miserable enough already."
Fry,"Oh, can't you leave me alone? I'm miserable enough already.",Leela,"Look, I know it's not much consolation but I understand how you feel."
Leela,"Look, I know it's not much consolation but I understand how you feel.",Fry,"No, you don't. I've got no home, no family--"
Fry,"No, you don't. I've got no home, no family--",Bender,No friends.
Bender,No friends.,Fry,My whole world is gone. You can't possibly understand what it feels like to be so alone.
Fry,My whole world is gone. You can't possibly understand what it feels like to be so alone.,Leela,I understand. I'm the only one-eyed alien on this whole planet. My parents abandoned me here as a baby and I don't even know what galaxy they were from. I know how it feels to be alone.
Leela,I understand. I'm the only one-eyed alien on this whole planet. My parents abandoned me here as a baby and I don't even know what galaxy they were from. I know how it feels to be alone.,Fry,Your chip. What are you doing?
Fry,Your chip. What are you doing?,Leela,Quitting.
Leela,Quitting.,Fry,Why?
Fry,Why?,Leela,Because I've always wanted to. I just never realised it before I met you.
Leela,Because I've always wanted to. I just never realised it before I met you.,Fry,What is the matter with you?
Fry,What is the matter with you?,Bender,I just wanted to be part of the moment.
Bender,I just wanted to be part of the moment.,Leela,Hey! He stole my ring!
Leela,Hey! He stole my ring!,Bender,"Well, that solves the mystery of the missing ring. This calls for a drink."
Bender,"Well, that solves the mystery of the missing ring. This calls for a drink.",Leela,I don't wanna spoil the party but we're all job deserters now. We're unemployed and we have nowhere to go.
Leela,I don't wanna spoil the party but we're all job deserters now. We're unemployed and we have nowhere to go.,Fry,Correction: We're unemployed but we have a doddering old relative to mooch off of.
Fry,Correction: We're unemployed but we have a doddering old relative to mooch off of.,Farnsworth,Who are you?
Farnsworth,Who are you?,Fry,I'm your dear old Uncle Fry.
Fry,I'm your dear old Uncle Fry.,Farnsworth,I don't have an Uncle Fry.
Farnsworth,I don't have an Uncle Fry.,Bender,You do now!
Bender,You do now!,Farnsworth,your nephew! This is absolutely incredible!
Farnsworth,your nephew! This is absolutely incredible!,Bender,Can we have some money?
Bender,Can we have some money?,Farnsworth,"Oh, my, no."
Farnsworth,"Oh, my, no.",Farnsworth,And here's where I keep assorted lengths of wire.
Farnsworth,And here's where I keep assorted lengths of wire.,Fry,Whoa! A real live spaceship!
Fry,Whoa! A real live spaceship!,Farnsworth,I designed it myself. Let me show you some of the different lengths of wire I used.
Farnsworth,I designed it myself. Let me show you some of the different lengths of wire I used.,Smitty,"Attention, job deserters! Come out with your hands up. We have you partially surrounded."
Smitty,"Attention, job deserters! Come out with your hands up. We have you partially surrounded.",Fry,No!
Fry,No!,Nixon,Get those bums!
Nixon,Get those bums!,Leela,Can't we get away in the ship?
Leela,Can't we get away in the ship?,Fry,I'll get us out of here.
Fry,I'll get us out of here.,Farnsworth,Can anyone drive stick?
Farnsworth,Can anyone drive stick?,Leela,I can. As long as I don't have to parallel park.
Leela,I can. As long as I don't have to parallel park.,URL,"If they try to take off, give 'em an ass-ful of laser."
URL,"If they try to take off, give 'em an ass-ful of laser.",Leela,Prepare for lift-off. Ten.
Leela,Prepare for lift-off. Ten.,Crowd,Nine!
Crowd,Nine!,Crowd,Amania!
Crowd,Amania!,Crowd,Seven!
Crowd,Seven!,Aliens,Six.
Aliens,Six.,Terry,Five!
Terry,Five!,Nimoy,Four.
Nimoy,Four.,Farnsworth,Three.
Farnsworth,Three.,Bender,Two.
Bender,Two.,Leela,One!
Leela,One!,Fry,Blast-off!
Fry,Blast-off!,Smitty,I can't see nothing. Pretty though!
Smitty,I can't see nothing. Pretty though!,Fry,"So, I guess, without jobs, we'll be fugitives forever."
Fry,"So, I guess, without jobs, we'll be fugitives forever.",Farnsworth,"Not necessarily. Are you three, by any chance, interested in becoming my new spaceship crew?"
Farnsworth,"Not necessarily. Are you three, by any chance, interested in becoming my new spaceship crew?",Bender,New crew? W-What happened to the old crew?
Bender,New crew? W-What happened to the old crew?,Farnsworth,Of those poor sons of-- But that's not important. The important thing is I need a new crew. Anyone interested?
Farnsworth,Of those poor sons of-- But that's not important. The important thing is I need a new crew. Anyone interested?,Fry!,That's exactly the job I've always wanted!
Fry!,That's exactly the job I've always wanted!,Leela,"Thanks for the offer, Professor, but we don't have the proper career chips."
Leela,"Thanks for the offer, Professor, but we don't have the proper career chips.",Farnsworth,"Oh, that won't be a problem. As luck would have it, I saved the chips from my previous crew."
Farnsworth,"Oh, that won't be a problem. As luck would have it, I saved the chips from my previous crew.",Farnsworth,If by that you mean transporting cargo then yes. It's a little home business I started to fund my research.
Farnsworth,If by that you mean transporting cargo then yes. It's a little home business I started to fund my research.,Fry,Cool! What's my job gonna be?
Fry,Cool! What's my job gonna be?,Farnsworth,You will be responsible for ensuring that the cargo reaches its destination.
Farnsworth,You will be responsible for ensuring that the cargo reaches its destination.,Fry,"So, I'm gonna be a delivery boy?"
Fry,"So, I'm gonna be a delivery boy?",Farnsworth,Exactly!
Farnsworth,Exactly!,Fry,Alright! I'm a delivery boy!
Fry,Alright! I'm a delivery boy!,Fry,Wow!
Fry,Wow!,Farnsworth,"Not on the same channel, of course."
Farnsworth,"Not on the same channel, of course.",Announcer,Interplanetary deliveries - what a headache!
Announcer,Interplanetary deliveries - what a headache!,Horrible,Gelatinous Blob: Evans! Where's that package from Earth?
Horrible,Gelatinous Blob: Evans! Where's that package from Earth?,Man,I'm not Evans!
Man,I'm not Evans!,Horrible,Gelatinous Blob!
Horrible,Gelatinous Blob!,Announcer,"When those other companies aren't brave or foolhardy enough to go, trust Planet Express for reliable, on time delivery."
Announcer,"When those other companies aren't brave or foolhardy enough to go, trust Planet Express for reliable, on time delivery.",Evans,"Here's your package, Mr. Horrible Gelatinous Blob."
Evans,"Here's your package, Mr. Horrible Gelatinous Blob.",Horrible,"Gelatinous Blob: Good work, Evans! You've got a future around here."
Horrible,"Gelatinous Blob: Good work, Evans! You've got a future around here.",Evans,"Thank you, sir!"
Evans,"Thank you, sir!",Announcer,Planet Express: Our crew is replaceable. Your package isn't.
Announcer,Planet Express: Our crew is replaceable. Your package isn't.,Fry,Are there really giant birds like that?
Fry,Are there really giant birds like that?,Farnsworth,"No, no! That was all just special effects! Now let's have breakfast. I hope everyone likes eggs."
Farnsworth,"No, no! That was all just special effects! Now let's have breakfast. I hope everyone likes eggs.",Farnsworth,"Ah, Hermes! Crew, meet Hermes Conrad. He manages my delivery business, pays the bills, notifies next of kin, what have you."
Farnsworth,"Ah, Hermes! Crew, meet Hermes Conrad. He manages my delivery business, pays the bills, notifies next of kin, what have you.",Hermes,Someone come and dropped this package through the slot last night. Now which one of you is the captain?
Hermes,Someone come and dropped this package through the slot last night. Now which one of you is the captain?,Farnsworth,"Oh, my! I haven't picked a new captain yet. It's always so hard to choose."
Farnsworth,"Oh, my! I haven't picked a new captain yet. It's always so hard to choose.",Fry,"Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!"
Fry,"Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!",Farnsworth,"Hmm, you!"
Farnsworth,"Hmm, you!",Hermes,"OK, Captain, this is just a standard legal release protecting Planet Express from lawsuits in the event of the unforeseen."
Hermes,"OK, Captain, this is just a standard legal release protecting Planet Express from lawsuits in the event of the unforeseen.",Leela,Death by airlock failure.
Leela,Death by airlock failure.,Hermes,Mm.
Hermes,Mm.,Leela,Death by brain parasite.
Leela,Death by brain parasite.,Hermes,Yeah.
Hermes,Yeah.,Hermes,"Oh, you don't want that!"
Hermes,"Oh, you don't want that!",Leela,"Look, I don't know about any of your previous captains but I intend to do as little dying as possible."
Leela,"Look, I don't know about any of your previous captains but I intend to do as little dying as possible.",Hermes,Sign the paper!
Hermes,Sign the paper!,Farnsworth,"Now, Fry, before you go into space you'll need to see our staff doctor. I should warn you though, he's a little ... unusual. He wears sandals!"
Farnsworth,"Now, Fry, before you go into space you'll need to see our staff doctor. I should warn you though, he's a little ... unusual. He wears sandals!",Fry,Hi--
Fry,Hi--,Farnsworth,"Dr. Zoidberg, this is Fry, the new delivery boy. He needs a physical."
Farnsworth,"Dr. Zoidberg, this is Fry, the new delivery boy. He needs a physical.",Zoidberg,"Excellent, excellent!"
Zoidberg,"Excellent, excellent!",Farnsworth,You'll be fine.
Farnsworth,You'll be fine.,Zoidberg,mouth!
Zoidberg,mouth!,Fry,I only have one.
Fry,I only have one.,Zoidberg,Really?
Zoidberg,Really?,Fry,"Uh, is there a human doctor around?"
Fry,"Uh, is there a human doctor around?",Zoidberg?,My mother was a saint! Get out!
Zoidberg?,My mother was a saint! Get out!,Farnsworth,"Dear Lord, Bender, you're filthy."
Farnsworth,"Dear Lord, Bender, you're filthy.",Bender,"Yeah, like you don't have crap in your neck!"
Bender,"Yeah, like you don't have crap in your neck!",Farnsworth,"Amy, why don't you give his body a going over with the cleaning pick?"
Farnsworth,"Amy, why don't you give his body a going over with the cleaning pick?",Amy,OK. Does it hurt when I go like this?
Amy,OK. Does it hurt when I go like this?,Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Bender,A little.
Bender,A little.,Fry,"Well, the doctor says I'm as healthy as a crab. Can I go into space now?"
Fry,"Well, the doctor says I'm as healthy as a crab. Can I go into space now?",Farnsworth,"As soon as we finish cleaning Bender. Oh, and Fry, this is our intern, Amy Wong. She's an engineering student of mine. I like having her around because she's the same blood type as me."
Farnsworth,"As soon as we finish cleaning Bender. Oh, and Fry, this is our intern, Amy Wong. She's an engineering student of mine. I like having her around because she's the same blood type as me.","Amy,",right?
"Amy,",right?,Fry,Last time I checked.
Fry,Last time I checked.,Amy,"Look, we're not as rich as everybody says."
Amy,"Look, we're not as rich as everybody says.",Leela,Uh-huh! What sorority do you belong to?
Leela,Uh-huh! What sorority do you belong to?,Bender,"Alright, show's over, I'm tired."
Bender,"Alright, show's over, I'm tired.",Farnsworth,"Ah, to be young again. And also a robot. Now, as I recall, you youngsters have a package to deliver."
Farnsworth,"Ah, to be young again. And also a robot. Now, as I recall, you youngsters have a package to deliver.",Fry,"Finally! Come on, Bender. Let's mosey!"
Fry,"Finally! Come on, Bender. Let's mosey!",Bender,"Nice catch, idiot!"
Bender,"Nice catch, idiot!",Fry,So where are we going anyway?
Fry,So where are we going anyway?,Fry,and those other brave guys no one ever heard of!
Fry,and those other brave guys no one ever heard of!,Amy,"Oh, I love stuff like the moon! Can I come, Leela?"
Amy,"Oh, I love stuff like the moon! Can I come, Leela?",Leela,day as captain.
Leela,day as captain.,Farnsworth,"If something goes wrong, bring back the blood."
Farnsworth,"If something goes wrong, bring back the blood.",Fry,Can I do the countdown?
Fry,Can I do the countdown?,Leela,"Huh? Oh, sure. Knock yourself out."
Leela,"Huh? Oh, sure. Knock yourself out.",Fry,... nine--
Fry,... nine--,Leela,"OK, we're here!"
Leela,"OK, we're here!",Fry,Eightsevensixfivefourthreetwooneblastoff!
Fry,Eightsevensixfivefourthreetwooneblastoff!,Fry,Hurry up! I wanna see the moon!
Fry,Hurry up! I wanna see the moon!,Leela,Relax. It's open till 9.
Leela,Relax. It's open till 9.,Fry,That's one small step for Fry--
Fry,That's one small step for Fry--,Man,And one giant line for admission!
Man,And one giant line for admission!,Fry,"Um, can I have cuts?"
Fry,"Um, can I have cuts?",Man,Hmm ... no!
Man,Hmm ... no!,Fry,You're not gonna believe this but they landed an amusement park on the moon!
Fry,You're not gonna believe this but they landed an amusement park on the moon!,Amy!,It's the happiest place orbiting Earth.
Amy!,It's the happiest place orbiting Earth.,Fry,"Let's go, already!"
Fry,"Let's go, already!",Leela,"Fry, we have a crate to deliver."
Leela,"Fry, we have a crate to deliver.",Fry,Let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.
Fry,Let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.,Bender,Too much work. Let's burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer.
Bender,Too much work. Let's burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer.,Leela,"OK, if everyone's finished being stupid--"
Leela,"OK, if everyone's finished being stupid--",Fry,I had more but you go ahead.
Fry,I had more but you go ahead.,Leela,We'll deliver that crate like professionals and then we'll go home.
Leela,We'll deliver that crate like professionals and then we'll go home.,Fry,But I've never been to the moon before.
Fry,But I've never been to the moon before.,Leela,"Amy, why don't you help Fry hoist down the crate. Then lock up when you're done. Just be careful."
Leela,"Amy, why don't you help Fry hoist down the crate. Then lock up when you're done. Just be careful.",Amy,"Aye, aye, Captain! I mean only one eye. I mean, yes, sir-- Um, ma'am!"
Amy,"Aye, aye, Captain! I mean only one eye. I mean, yes, sir-- Um, ma'am!",Amy,Clear?
Amy,Clear?,Fry,Clear!
Fry,Clear!,Amy,Ready to hoist?
Amy,Ready to hoist?,Fry,Ready!
Fry,Ready!,Amy,Ow!
Amy,Ow!,Fry,My first space delivery.
Fry,My first space delivery.,Fry,"Uh, greetings, Moon Man. We come in peace. I am Fry from the planet Earth."
Fry,"Uh, greetings, Moon Man. We come in peace. I am Fry from the planet Earth.",Sal,"Wise guy, huh? If I wasn't so lazy I'd punch you in the stomach."
Sal,"Wise guy, huh? If I wasn't so lazy I'd punch you in the stomach.",Fry,"But you are lazy, right?"
Fry,"But you are lazy, right?",Sal,"Oh, don't get me started."
Sal,"Oh, don't get me started.",Craterface,"Hi, I'm Craterface! Welcome to Luna Park. I'll have to confiscate your alcohol, sir."
Craterface,"Hi, I'm Craterface! Welcome to Luna Park. I'll have to confiscate your alcohol, sir.",Bender,Better mascots than you have tried.
Bender,Better mascots than you have tried.,Craterface,At least I still have my self respect!
Craterface,At least I still have my self respect!,Leela,Who buys this trash?
Leela,Who buys this trash?,Bender,who need gifts for other idiots.
Bender,who need gifts for other idiots.,Fry,"Hey, I got you guys refrigerator magnets."
Fry,"Hey, I got you guys refrigerator magnets.",Bender,Keep those things off of me! Magnets screw up my inhibition unit!
Bender,Keep those things off of me! Magnets screw up my inhibition unit!,Fry,So you flip out and start acting like some crazy folk singer?
Fry,So you flip out and start acting like some crazy folk singer?,Bender,Yes. I guess a robot would have to be crazy to wanna be a folk singer.
Bender,Yes. I guess a robot would have to be crazy to wanna be a folk singer.,And,sing our whaling tune!
And,sing our whaling tune!,Whalerbot,"Bender, hey, Bender! Over here!"
Whalerbot,"Bender, hey, Bender! Over here!",Bender,"Oh, jeez! I went to high school with that guy!"
Bender,"Oh, jeez! I went to high school with that guy!",Announcer,presents: The Goophy Gopher Revue!
Announcer,presents: The Goophy Gopher Revue!,Gopher,#1: Why does a moon rock taste better than an Earth rock?
Gopher,#1: Why does a moon rock taste better than an Earth rock?,Gopher,#2: Because it's a little meteor!
Gopher,#2: Because it's a little meteor!,Fry,This is weak!
Fry,This is weak!,Gopher,#1: Address all complaints to the Monsanto corporation.
Gopher,#1: Address all complaints to the Monsanto corporation.,Leela,"What's wrong, Fry?"
Leela,"What's wrong, Fry?",Fry,what I came to see! I wanna go out there and jump around like an astronaut. Screw this phoney stuff!
Fry,what I came to see! I wanna go out there and jump around like an astronaut. Screw this phoney stuff!,Leela,But the phoney stuff is what's fun. It's boring out there.
Leela,But the phoney stuff is what's fun. It's boring out there.,Bender,Yeah! You're the kind of guy who visits Jerusalem and doesn't want to see the Sexeteria!
Bender,Yeah! You're the kind of guy who visits Jerusalem and doesn't want to see the Sexeteria!,Leela,Maybe I should take Fry on the Luna Rover ride. You get to wear a space suit and drive around on the surface. And the line's short because it's educational.
Leela,Maybe I should take Fry on the Luna Rover ride. You get to wear a space suit and drive around on the surface. And the line's short because it's educational.,Fry,educational it is. Let's do it!
Fry,educational it is. Let's do it!,Bender,Next year in Jerusalem!
Bender,Next year in Jerusalem!,Fry,Finally! Get ready for some serious moon action.
Fry,Finally! Get ready for some serious moon action.,Narrator,The story of lunar exploration started with one man. A man with a dream.
Narrator,The story of lunar exploration started with one man. A man with a dream.,Ralph,"Kramden-bot: One of these days, Alice. Bang! Zoom! Straight to the moon!"
Ralph,"Kramden-bot: One of these days, Alice. Bang! Zoom! Straight to the moon!",Leela,"Wow, I never realised the first astronauts were so fat!"
Leela,"Wow, I never realised the first astronauts were so fat!",Fry,"That's not an astronaut, it's a TV comedian. And he was just using space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife."
Fry,"That's not an astronaut, it's a TV comedian. And he was just using space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife.",Amy,Hm?
Amy,Hm?,Bender,"Look, it's that crate we were gonna throw in the sewer."
Bender,"Look, it's that crate we were gonna throw in the sewer.",Amy,They must have fallen into the crate! Leela's gonna kill me!
Amy,They must have fallen into the crate! Leela's gonna kill me!,Bender,Nah. She'll probably make me do it.
Bender,Nah. She'll probably make me do it.,Amy,Mister? Could you please get those keys out for me?
Amy,Mister? Could you please get those keys out for me?,Sal,What do I look like? A guy who's not lazy?
Sal,What do I look like? A guy who's not lazy?,Narrator,"No one knows where, when or how Man first landed on the moon."
Narrator,"No one knows where, when or how Man first landed on the moon.",Fry,I do.
Fry,I do.,Narrator,think it might have happened something like this:
Narrator,think it might have happened something like this:,Whalerbots,"We're whalers on the moon,"
Whalerbots,"We're whalers on the moon,",Gophers,"We carry a harpoon,"
Gophers,"We carry a harpoon,",Whalerbots,and  But there ain't no whales so we tell a tall tale...
Whalerbots,and  But there ain't no whales so we tell a tall tale...,Leela,And sing a whaling tune. We're whalers on the moon--
Leela,And sing a whaling tune. We're whalers on the moon--,Fry,That's not how it happened.
Fry,That's not how it happened.,Leela,with a fun-gineering degree!
Leela,with a fun-gineering degree!,Fry,moon.
Fry,moon.,Leela,"Fry, no. This is my first mission and I'm not gonna let us get in any trouble. Besides, the car's on a track."
Leela,"Fry, no. This is my first mission and I'm not gonna let us get in any trouble. Besides, the car's on a track.",Fry,Not for long!
Fry,Not for long!,Whalerbot,Ooh! Ah! I died doin' what I loved.
Whalerbot,Ooh! Ah! I died doin' what I loved.,Leela,"OK, you're on the surface. Now I'll give you 10 minutes. Then you'll get bored, turn around and apologise for being such a jerk. Agreed?"
Leela,"OK, you're on the surface. Now I'll give you 10 minutes. Then you'll get bored, turn around and apologise for being such a jerk. Agreed?",Fry,Yeah! Crank up the radio!
Fry,Yeah! Crank up the radio!,Whalerbots,We're whalers on the--
Whalerbots,We're whalers on the--,Fry,Yee-haw!
Fry,Yee-haw!,Leela,Time's up. Make a U-turn at the next crater.
Leela,Time's up. Make a U-turn at the next crater.,Fry,"No, not yet. How 'bout we go look for the original moon landing site?"
Fry,"No, not yet. How 'bout we go look for the original moon landing site?",Leela,That's crazy! It's been lost for centuries!
Leela,That's crazy! It's been lost for centuries!,Fry,Uh ... I'm ready to go back now.
Fry,Uh ... I'm ready to go back now.,Fry,You did it! We're safe!
Fry,You did it! We're safe!,Leela,we're gonna die.
Leela,we're gonna die.,Fry,It's every man for himself.
Fry,It's every man for himself.,Bender,"Hey, look what I won from a tourist's pocket!"
Bender,"Hey, look what I won from a tourist's pocket!",Amy,Shut up. You're distracting me.
Amy,Shut up. You're distracting me.,Bender,"Come on, it's just like making love. Y'know: Left, down, rotate 62 degrees, engage rotor."
Bender,"Come on, it's just like making love. Y'know: Left, down, rotate 62 degrees, engage rotor.",Amy,how to make love!
Amy,how to make love!,Bender,"Uh, that's the woman who programmed me for evil!"
Bender,"Uh, that's the woman who programmed me for evil!",Bender,"Yeah, well, I'm gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park!"
Bender,"Yeah, well, I'm gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park!",Fry,"I'm sorry, Leela, I can't go on any further. Just leave me to die in that barn over there."
Fry,"I'm sorry, Leela, I can't go on any further. Just leave me to die in that barn over there.",Leela,Thank God!
Leela,Thank God!,Hydroponic,"Farmer: Trespassers, eh?"
Hydroponic,"Farmer: Trespassers, eh?",Fry,"No, sir. We're amusement park patrons."
Fry,"No, sir. We're amusement park patrons.",Farmer,"Ooh, that's a wicked sinful place. Tilt-a-whirl's OK, but the rest is mighty wicked."
Farmer,"Ooh, that's a wicked sinful place. Tilt-a-whirl's OK, but the rest is mighty wicked.",Leela,Our car broke down and we're out of oxygen. Can we borrow some?
Leela,Our car broke down and we're out of oxygen. Can we borrow some?,Farmer,"Huh, borry? Looky here, city girl, oxygen don't grow on trees. You'll have to earn it doing chores on my hydroponic farm. You can go back to your precious theme park at sun up."
Farmer,"Huh, borry? Looky here, city girl, oxygen don't grow on trees. You'll have to earn it doing chores on my hydroponic farm. You can go back to your precious theme park at sun up.",Fry,I guess we could do chores for a few hours.
Fry,I guess we could do chores for a few hours.,Leela,"Fry, night lasts two weeks on the moon."
Leela,"Fry, night lasts two weeks on the moon.",Farmer,Yup. Drops down to -173!
Farmer,Yup. Drops down to -173!,Farmer,"First one, then th'other. And them spacesuits ain't a-heated so you ain't goin' nowhere till sunrise. You can sleep in the barn. Just don't be a-touchin' my three beautiful robot daughters. Y'hear?"
Farmer,"First one, then th'other. And them spacesuits ain't a-heated so you ain't goin' nowhere till sunrise. You can sleep in the barn. Just don't be a-touchin' my three beautiful robot daughters. Y'hear?",Farmer,This here is Lulabelle 7.
Farmer,This here is Lulabelle 7.,Lulabelle,7: Yoo-hoo!
Lulabelle,7: Yoo-hoo!,Farmer,Daisy-Mae 128K.
Farmer,Daisy-Mae 128K.,Daisy-Mae,128K: Yoo-hoo!
Daisy-Mae,128K: Yoo-hoo!,Farmer,And the Crushinator.
Farmer,And the Crushinator.,Crushinator,Yoo-hoo.
Crushinator,Yoo-hoo.,Fry,Whoa!
Fry,Whoa!,Leela,"I told you to turn around and go back to the park. But oh, no, the park was too phoney. We had to see the real moon."
Leela,"I told you to turn around and go back to the park. But oh, no, the park was too phoney. We had to see the real moon.",Fry,And it was great! We got to see craters and rocks and that one incredible rock that looked like a crater and ... and these fellas.
Fry,And it was great! We got to see craters and rocks and that one incredible rock that looked like a crater and ... and these fellas.,Leela,"Fry, face it: The moon is a dump. It's a boring, dried-up wasteland and the only reason anybody ever comes here is for the tacky little amusement park. Can't you just accept that?"
Leela,"Fry, face it: The moon is a dump. It's a boring, dried-up wasteland and the only reason anybody ever comes here is for the tacky little amusement park. Can't you just accept that?",Fry,I guess I can't.
Fry,I guess I can't.,Farmer,I'll learn ye to sleep with my robot daughters!
Farmer,I'll learn ye to sleep with my robot daughters!,Bender,He'll never find me in here.
Bender,He'll never find me in here.,Leela,Bender?
Leela,Bender?,Fry,"Oh, Bender. You didn't touch the Crushinator, did you?"
Fry,"Oh, Bender. You didn't touch the Crushinator, did you?",Bender,Of course not. A lady that fine you gotta romance first.
Bender,Of course not. A lady that fine you gotta romance first.,Farmer,"Oh, no you don't! C'mere, Crushinator."
Farmer,"Oh, no you don't! C'mere, Crushinator.",Crushinator,"Yes, Pa."
Crushinator,"Yes, Pa.",Fry,It's too low.
Fry,It's too low.,Leela,Hold on to your helmet!
Leela,Hold on to your helmet!,Farmer,"God darn it, Crushinator, jump!"
Farmer,"God darn it, Crushinator, jump!",Crushinator,"No, Pa. I love him."
Crushinator,"No, Pa. I love him.",Fry,"Hey, cool! Dark side of the moon!"
Fry,"Hey, cool! Dark side of the moon!",Leela,"Hurry, before we freeze."
Leela,"Hurry, before we freeze.",Bender,"What do you mean we, mammal?"
Bender,"What do you mean we, mammal?",Leela,We can't outrun it forever.
Leela,We can't outrun it forever.,Fry,Over there! Look! It's the moon landing site! We found it!
Fry,Over there! Look! It's the moon landing site! We found it!,Leela,"Quick, get in."
Leela,"Quick, get in.",Fry,"Hey! My foot's bigger! Leela, isn't this the greatest thing you've ever seen?"
Fry,"Hey! My foot's bigger! Leela, isn't this the greatest thing you've ever seen?",Leela,Now get in here before you freeze.
Leela,Now get in here before you freeze.,Bender,"Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine! I'll go build my own lunar lander, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack. Ah, screw the whole thing."
Bender,"Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine! I'll go build my own lunar lander, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack. Ah, screw the whole thing.",Leela,to death.
Leela,to death.,Fry,"Look, Leela, I'm sorry. I never should have dragged you out here."
Fry,"Look, Leela, I'm sorry. I never should have dragged you out here.",Leela,"That's right, you shouldn't have. I still don't get what the big attraction is."
Leela,"That's right, you shouldn't have. I still don't get what the big attraction is.",Fry,I never told anybody this but a thousand years ago I used to look up at the moon and dream about being an astronaut. I just didn't have the grades. Nor the physical endurance. Plus I threw up a lot and nobody liked spending a week with me.
Fry,I never told anybody this but a thousand years ago I used to look up at the moon and dream about being an astronaut. I just didn't have the grades. Nor the physical endurance. Plus I threw up a lot and nobody liked spending a week with me.,Leela,be a little much.
Leela,be a little much.,Fry,"But you're right. Once you're actually here it's just a big dull rock. I guess I just wanted you to see it through my eyes, the way I used to."
Fry,"But you're right. Once you're actually here it's just a big dull rock. I guess I just wanted you to see it through my eyes, the way I used to.",Leela,beautiful. I don't know why I never noticed before.
Leela,beautiful. I don't know why I never noticed before.,Farmer,"Had to come back for the Crushinator, eh, robot? Well I got you this time."
Farmer,"Had to come back for the Crushinator, eh, robot? Well I got you this time.",Fry,It's Amy! We're saved!
Fry,It's Amy! We're saved!,Leela,Amy? Where'd she learn to operate the controls like that?
Leela,Amy? Where'd she learn to operate the controls like that?,Bender,Uh-oh!
Bender,Uh-oh!,She'll,be comin'--
She'll,be comin'--,Farmer,"Aw, dang it!"
Farmer,"Aw, dang it!",She'll,be riding six white horses...
She'll,be riding six white horses...,Leela,"So, Fry, was the real moon anything like the moon you used to dream about?"
Leela,"So, Fry, was the real moon anything like the moon you used to dream about?",Fry,Well ... close enough!
Fry,Well ... close enough!,One,more time!
One,more time!,Bender,Hey!
Bender,Hey!,Hermes,"Fry, mon, if you're going to be living in the office you could at least be on time for work."
Hermes,"Fry, mon, if you're going to be living in the office you could at least be on time for work.",Fry,I'm sorry. I was up really late poking through people's desks.
Fry,I'm sorry. I was up really late poking through people's desks.,Hermes,"Alright, people. I will now outline today's 12-point agenda. We'll begin with point one, then race forward--"
Hermes,"Alright, people. I will now outline today's 12-point agenda. We'll begin with point one, then race forward--",Hermes,"Am I cracking up, or is Fry's living here starting to get in the way of bus--"
Hermes,"Am I cracking up, or is Fry's living here starting to get in the way of bus--",Leela,What the hell are you doing? You're getting a huge dose of radiation!
Leela,What the hell are you doing? You're getting a huge dose of radiation!,Fry,And great lift!
Fry,And great lift!,Leela,Do you know how long it's going to take me to recalibrate these engines?
Leela,Do you know how long it's going to take me to recalibrate these engines?,Fry,"Hey! When you look this good, you don't have to know anything."
Fry,"Hey! When you look this good, you don't have to know anything.",Leela,"Professor, We need to talk to you about Fry."
Leela,"Professor, We need to talk to you about Fry.",Bender,"That's right, we want some money— Wait. What's this about Fry?"
Bender,"That's right, we want some money— Wait. What's this about Fry?",Leela,He's a nice guy but we think it's about time he got his own place.
Leela,He's a nice guy but we think it's about time he got his own place.,Farnsworth,over 29 million years ago.
Farnsworth,over 29 million years ago.,Fry,"Hey, Professor, great jerky!"
Fry,"Hey, Professor, great jerky!",Farnsworth,was going to eat that mummy! Fry has got to go!
Farnsworth,was going to eat that mummy! Fry has got to go!,Announcer,"Bachelor Chow, now with flavour!"
Announcer,"Bachelor Chow, now with flavour!",Commentator,And Bigfoot is down!
Commentator,And Bigfoot is down!,Fry,"Sheesh! 40,000 channels and only 150 have anything good on."
Fry,"Sheesh! 40,000 channels and only 150 have anything good on.",Announcer,"is brought to you by Robo Fresh: Designed by a robot, for a robot."
Announcer,"is brought to you by Robo Fresh: Designed by a robot, for a robot.",Calculon,"I've been processing this for some time, Monique, and, well, will you marry me?"
Calculon,"I've been processing this for some time, Monique, and, well, will you marry me?",Monique,It fits! Then you must know that I'm--
Monique,It fits! Then you must know that I'm--,Calculon,"Metric? I've always known. But for you, my darling, I'm willing to convert."
Calculon,"Metric? I've always known. But for you, my darling, I'm willing to convert.",Fry,"Hmm, must be a friend of theirs."
Fry,"Hmm, must be a friend of theirs.",Bender,"Fry, we've got to discuss your living arrangements."
Bender,"Fry, we've got to discuss your living arrangements.",Leela,We've all talked it over and--
Leela,We've all talked it over and--,Bender!,Move over.
Bender!,Move over.,Leela,"Fry, sometimes in close quarters, people do inconsiderate things without realising it."
Leela,"Fry, sometimes in close quarters, people do inconsiderate things without realising it.",Fry,I know but I forgive you.
Fry,I know but I forgive you.,Leela,"No, Fry, by close quarters I mean this office--"
Leela,"No, Fry, by close quarters I mean this office--",Fry,Uh-huh.
Fry,Uh-huh.,Leela,And by people I mean you!
Leela,And by people I mean you!,Fry,Right.
Fry,Right.,Leela,And by inconsiderate I mean--
Leela,And by inconsiderate I mean--,Fry,Leela! We're trying to watch TV.
Fry,Leela! We're trying to watch TV.,Bender,Yeah. Would you kindly shut your noise hole?
Bender,Yeah. Would you kindly shut your noise hole?,Fry,"So, who's that weird-looking guy?"
Fry,"So, who's that weird-looking guy?",Bender,That's a human.
Bender,That's a human.,Fry,What's he do?
Fry,What's he do?,Bender,"Eh, the usual human stuff. He laughs, he learns, he loves."
Bender,"Eh, the usual human stuff. He laughs, he learns, he loves.",Fry,Boring!
Fry,Boring!,Human,Friend: Calculon? I thought you were in a coma.
Human,Friend: Calculon? I thought you were in a coma.,Calculon,"That's what I wanted you to think with your soft, human brain."
Calculon,"That's what I wanted you to think with your soft, human brain.",Fry,"Hey, uh, why is the TV getting smaller?"
Fry,"Hey, uh, why is the TV getting smaller?",Hermes,We'll bill you for the couch.
Hermes,We'll bill you for the couch.,Bender,"Cheer up, meatbag. You've barely touched your amoeba."
Bender,"Cheer up, meatbag. You've barely touched your amoeba.",Fry,It looked good but I just don't feel like eating. You want it?
Fry,It looked good but I just don't feel like eating. You want it?,Bender,The chemical energy keeps my fuel cells charged.
Bender,The chemical energy keeps my fuel cells charged.,Fry,What are the cigars for?
Fry,What are the cigars for?,Bender,They make me look cool.
Bender,They make me look cool.,Fry,I can't believe they threw me out like that. I must have been really acting like a jerk.
Fry,I can't believe they threw me out like that. I must have been really acting like a jerk.,Bender,"That's my philosophy. So, where you gonna stay?"
Bender,"That's my philosophy. So, where you gonna stay?",Fry,I don't know. Do refrigerators still come in cardboard boxes?
Fry,I don't know. Do refrigerators still come in cardboard boxes?,Bender,"Yeah, but the rents are outrageous. Why don't you just come move in with me?"
Bender,"Yeah, but the rents are outrageous. Why don't you just come move in with me?",Fry,Really? That'd be great! You sure I won't be imposing?
Fry,Really? That'd be great! You sure I won't be imposing?,Bender,"Nah, I've always wanted a pet."
Bender,"Nah, I've always wanted a pet.",Bender,Here we are. Your new home.
Bender,Here we are. Your new home.,Fry,"Cool! Y'know, I've never even seen a robot's apartment before."
Fry,"Cool! Y'know, I've never even seen a robot's apartment before.",Bender,"Come on in, I'll give you the tour!"
Bender,"Come on in, I'll give you the tour!",Bender,"Let's see, where to start. OK, this is the TV area, that over there's the breakfast nook, and over here is where you'll be living which is great because, until now, it's just been wasted space."
Bender,"Let's see, where to start. OK, this is the TV area, that over there's the breakfast nook, and over here is where you'll be living which is great because, until now, it's just been wasted space.",Fry,It's kinda cramped in here. I don't even have room to hang my clothes.
Fry,It's kinda cramped in here. I don't even have room to hang my clothes.,Bender,"Look, pal, you've only got one set of clothes and you're not taking them off while I'm here. Well, I'm bushed. G'night."
Bender,"Look, pal, you've only got one set of clothes and you're not taking them off while I'm here. Well, I'm bushed. G'night.",Fry,"Wait, Bender. Bender?"
Fry,"Wait, Bender. Bender?",Bender,Kill all humans ... kill all humans ... must kill all the humans.
Bender,Kill all humans ... kill all humans ... must kill all the humans.,Fry,"Bender, wake up!"
Fry,"Bender, wake up!",Bender,I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it.
Bender,I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it.,Fry,"Uh, listen, Bender. Uh, where's your bathroom?"
Fry,"Uh, listen, Bender. Uh, where's your bathroom?",Bender,Bath what?
Bender,Bath what?,Fry,Bathroom.
Fry,Bathroom.,Bender,What room?
Bender,What room?,Bender,What what?
Bender,What what?,Fry,"Ah, never mind!"
Fry,"Ah, never mind!",Bender,"Hey, sexy mama, wanna kill all the humans?"
Bender,"Hey, sexy mama, wanna kill all the humans?",Leela,We sure are cheerful this morning.
Leela,We sure are cheerful this morning.,Bender,"Yeah, this past week with Fry's been a blast! Y'know, beneath this warm, sunny exterior beats the cold, mechanical heart of a robot."
Bender,"Yeah, this past week with Fry's been a blast! Y'know, beneath this warm, sunny exterior beats the cold, mechanical heart of a robot.",Leela,What happened to you?
Leela,What happened to you?,Fry,Now you're OK.
Fry,Now you're OK.,Leela,Look at yourself. You're a wreck! You've got to find a new place to live.
Leela,Look at yourself. You're a wreck! You've got to find a new place to live.,Fry,Is that an invitation?
Fry,Is that an invitation?,Leela,"Love your optimism, Fry. But seriously, you've got to tell Bender you're moving out."
Leela,"Love your optimism, Fry. But seriously, you've got to tell Bender you're moving out.",Fry,"Yeah, but he might get kind of upset. I don't think I can do that to him."
Fry,"Yeah, but he might get kind of upset. I don't think I can do that to him.",Bender,"Hey, there's my little space heater."
Bender,"Hey, there's my little space heater.",Fry,"Well, I'm moving out!"
Fry,"Well, I'm moving out!",Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Fry,"I'm sorry, Bender, but there's just not enough room."
Fry,"I'm sorry, Bender, but there's just not enough room.",Bender,Not enough room? My place is two cubic metres and we only take up 1.5 cubic metres. We've got room for a-whole-nother two-thirds of a person.
Bender,Not enough room? My place is two cubic metres and we only take up 1.5 cubic metres. We've got room for a-whole-nother two-thirds of a person.,Leela,What if I just helped the two of you find a bigger apartment?
Leela,What if I just helped the two of you find a bigger apartment?,Bender,And now they're gone.
Bender,And now they're gone.,Underwater,"house salesman places. But if you like dank, hey, forget about it!"
Underwater,"house salesman places. But if you like dank, hey, forget about it!",Leela,At least it's got a great view.
Leela,At least it's got a great view.,Bender,What the--?
Bender,What the--?,Underwater,House Salesman: Excuse me. I gotta go change a lightbulb.
Underwater,House Salesman: Excuse me. I gotta go change a lightbulb.,Leela,is fantastic!
Leela,is fantastic!,Fry,Hmm. I'm not sure we want to pay for a dimension we're not going to use.
Fry,Hmm. I'm not sure we want to pay for a dimension we're not going to use.,Fry,"Well, I give up. What's the catch?"
Fry,"Well, I give up. What's the catch?",Suspiciously,fantastic apartment salesman
Suspiciously,fantastic apartment salesman,Fry,Not one place even remotely liveable.
Fry,Not one place even remotely liveable.,Farnsworth,"Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mbutu."
Farnsworth,"Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mbutu.",Leela,Was his apartment rent-controlled?
Leela,Was his apartment rent-controlled?,Leela,Wow. This is beautiful.
Leela,Wow. This is beautiful.,Bender,What's with all the crap?
Bender,What's with all the crap?,Leela,It's not crap.
Leela,It's not crap.,Hattie,Dr. Mbutu collected this crap while he was exploring the watcha-call-it ... universe!
Hattie,Dr. Mbutu collected this crap while he was exploring the watcha-call-it ... universe!,Fry,"Well, this place has everything except the only thing I care about: A TV."
Fry,"Well, this place has everything except the only thing I care about: A TV.",Hattie,"It's got a TV, you young watcha-call-it ... idiot!"
Hattie,"It's got a TV, you young watcha-call-it ... idiot!",Fry,Ooh!
Fry,Ooh!,Bender,(from inside) It's perfect!
Bender,(from inside) It's perfect!,Fry,"Man, it's a total sty! For the first time in a thousand years, I feel like I'm home."
Fry,"Man, it's a total sty! For the first time in a thousand years, I feel like I'm home.",Bender,"Yeah! It's gonna be fun on the bun! Y'know, Fry, of all the friends I've had, you're the first."
Bender,"Yeah! It's gonna be fun on the bun! Y'know, Fry, of all the friends I've had, you're the first.",Hermes,"Hey, mon!"
Hermes,"Hey, mon!",Leela,It's a miniature fruit salad tree.
Leela,It's a miniature fruit salad tree.,Fry,"Hey, Amy!"
Fry,"Hey, Amy!",Amy,Hey!
Amy,Hey!,Farnsworth,Zevulon the Great. He's teriyaki style.
Farnsworth,Zevulon the Great. He's teriyaki style.,Bender,I'd better go out for more beer.
Bender,I'd better go out for more beer.,Fry,is about to start!
Fry,is about to start!,Bender,right I'll be emotionally and electrically drained.
Bender,right I'll be emotionally and electrically drained.,Fry,Hey!
Fry,Hey!,Hermes,These are mighty tasty!
Hermes,These are mighty tasty!,Zoidberg,Thank you. I made them myself.
Zoidberg,Thank you. I made them myself.,Fry,Sh! The wedding's about to start!
Fry,Sh! The wedding's about to start!,Preacherbot,"If anyone here objects to this union, let them speak now or forever hold their—"
Preacherbot,"If anyone here objects to this union, let them speak now or forever hold their—",Fry,Is he objecting or backing up?
Fry,Is he objecting or backing up?,Amy,Looks like both.
Amy,Looks like both.,Calculon,"I'm afraid my half-brother is correct. You see, I have a terrible secret and that secret is--"
Calculon,"I'm afraid my half-brother is correct. You see, I have a terrible secret and that secret is--",Amy,"Oh, this isn't right."
Amy,"Oh, this isn't right.",Hermes,"Oh, come on!"
Hermes,"Oh, come on!",Farnsworth,Fix it!
Farnsworth,Fix it!,Bender,"Hey, what happened to the TV?"
Bender,"Hey, what happened to the TV?",Fry,It just went out.
Fry,It just went out.,Bender,This is an outrage! I'm gonna go yell at the manager!
Bender,This is an outrage! I'm gonna go yell at the manager!,Hermes,Alright!
Hermes,Alright!,Fry,"Come back, Bender! It's working!"
Fry,"Come back, Bender! It's working!",Calculon,"To reiterate, my terrible secret is--"
Calculon,"To reiterate, my terrible secret is--",Fry,It's out again.
Fry,It's out again.,Bender,What? That's the last straw!
Bender,What? That's the last straw!,Fry,It's back on!
Fry,It's back on!,Hattie,Pardon me. I don't mean to pry into what you're doing in here with the crab and the one-eyed lady and the Chinese girl but everyone on this floor is having trouble with their TV reception.
Hattie,Pardon me. I don't mean to pry into what you're doing in here with the crab and the one-eyed lady and the Chinese girl but everyone on this floor is having trouble with their TV reception.,Bender,Yeah! And you'd better get rid of whatever's causing it or we're outta this dump!
Bender,Yeah! And you'd better get rid of whatever's causing it or we're outta this dump!,Hattie,"Relax, sonny. This kajigger'll find the source of the interference."
Hattie,"Relax, sonny. This kajigger'll find the source of the interference.",Tenant,#1: What's going on?
Tenant,#1: What's going on?,Tenant,#2: We want our TV back!
Tenant,#2: We want our TV back!,Hattie,There's your problem.
Hattie,There's your problem.,Amy,"Oh, my God! Bender, it's your thingy!"
Amy,"Oh, my God! Bender, it's your thingy!",Randy,Then get rid of it!
Randy,Then get rid of it!,Tenant,#1: Get out!
Tenant,#1: Get out!,Bender,You people are nuts. My antenna never interfered with my old TV.
Bender,You people are nuts. My antenna never interfered with my old TV.,Leela,You had cable. This is satellite.
Leela,You had cable. This is satellite.,Farnsworth,Obviously your thoughts are being transmitted on the same frequency.
Farnsworth,Obviously your thoughts are being transmitted on the same frequency.,Huge-assed,woman: They're on my cell phone too.
Huge-assed,woman: They're on my cell phone too.,Bender,"Madam, I believe you're mistaken!"
Bender,"Madam, I believe you're mistaken!",Bender,ass!
Bender,ass!,Bender,"Those could be anyone's thoughts, fat ass!"
Bender,"Those could be anyone's thoughts, fat ass!",Randy,The robot has to go!
Randy,The robot has to go!,Tenant,#1: Yeah.
Tenant,#1: Yeah.,Tenant,#3: Get him out of here!
Tenant,#3: Get him out of here!,Hattie,"Well, you heard the mob!"
Hattie,"Well, you heard the mob!",Bender,"Fine! Come on, Fry, let's move to that apartment that smelled like a sewer. You liked that one, right?"
Bender,"Fine! Come on, Fry, let's move to that apartment that smelled like a sewer. You liked that one, right?",Fry,"It's tempting, but, well, I am already kinda settled in here."
Fry,"It's tempting, but, well, I am already kinda settled in here.",Bender,Or we could live underground with the mutants. A little fire'll show 'em who's boss!
Bender,Or we could live underground with the mutants. A little fire'll show 'em who's boss!,Fry,"Uh, listen, is there maybe some way we could do this with you going and me not going?"
Fry,"Uh, listen, is there maybe some way we could do this with you going and me not going?",Bender,I don't understand.
Bender,I don't understand.,Fry,"Well, you were gonna live in the closet anyway. Won't you be just as happy back in your old place?"
Fry,"Well, you were gonna live in the closet anyway. Won't you be just as happy back in your old place?",Bender,"But, then we wouldn't be roommates."
Bender,"But, then we wouldn't be roommates.",Fry,I'll come visit sometime. And you can visit me here.
Fry,I'll come visit sometime. And you can visit me here.,Hattie,No he can't.
Hattie,No he can't.,Fry,"Anyway, I'm sure it'll work out. This way we'll both be happy."
Fry,"Anyway, I'm sure it'll work out. This way we'll both be happy.",Bender,"Happy. Yeah, that's Bender. Always happy."
Bender,"Happy. Yeah, that's Bender. Always happy.",Randy,"Hey, the TV's back on!"
Randy,"Hey, the TV's back on!",Preacherbot,"We are gathered here to mourn the death of Calculon; industrialist, private eye, friend."
Preacherbot,"We are gathered here to mourn the death of Calculon; industrialist, private eye, friend.",Calculon,give the eulogy?
Calculon,give the eulogy?,Monique,Calculon! You're alive!
Monique,Calculon! You're alive!,Randy,Calculon's back!
Randy,Calculon's back!,Farnsworth,"Right, so long."
Farnsworth,"Right, so long.",Zoidberg,Goodbye.
Zoidberg,Goodbye.,Amy,Do you think Calculon's evil twin will ever walk again?
Amy,Do you think Calculon's evil twin will ever walk again?,Hermes,"I don't know, Amy. I just don't know."
Hermes,"I don't know, Amy. I just don't know.",Fry,"Hey, thanks for coming."
Fry,"Hey, thanks for coming.",Leela,"Fry, you're Bender's best friend. How could you let that mob kick him out?"
Leela,"Fry, you're Bender's best friend. How could you let that mob kick him out?",Fry,"Ah, come on. Bender loves mobs."
Fry,"Ah, come on. Bender loves mobs.",Leela,Only when he's in them and you know it. You really hurt his feelings.
Leela,Only when he's in them and you know it. You really hurt his feelings.,Fry,Don't girl me with that girl stuff. Bender and me are guys. Guys don't have feelings.
Fry,Don't girl me with that girl stuff. Bender and me are guys. Guys don't have feelings.,Leela,"a guy, he's a robot."
Leela,"a guy, he's a robot.",Fry,Same thing.
Fry,Same thing.,Bender,It's so big and empty.
Bender,It's so big and empty.,Bender,"Oh, what's the point?"
Bender,"Oh, what's the point?",Leela,"My God, you're a mess!"
Leela,"My God, you're a mess!",Bender,Leave me alone!
Bender,Leave me alone!,Leela,"Look at that five o'clock rust. You've been up all night not drinking, haven't you?"
Leela,"Look at that five o'clock rust. You've been up all night not drinking, haven't you?",Bender,Hey. What I don't do is none of your business.
Bender,Hey. What I don't do is none of your business.,Leela,"Please, Bender. Have some malt liquor. If not for yourself then for the people who love you."
Leela,"Please, Bender. Have some malt liquor. If not for yourself then for the people who love you.",Bender,I hate the people who love me and they hate me.
Bender,I hate the people who love me and they hate me.,Leela,"Oh, now look. It's obvious you miss being Fry's roommate. But there's got to be a better way to deal with this."
Leela,"Oh, now look. It's obvious you miss being Fry's roommate. But there's got to be a better way to deal with this.",Bender,Like how? Having my antenna removed?
Bender,Like how? Having my antenna removed?,Leela,"Well, if that would work."
Leela,"Well, if that would work.",Bender,Are you crazy? That's Little Bender you're talking about. I can't cut it off. You're not a robot or a man so you wouldn't understand. I gotta get out of here.
Bender,Are you crazy? That's Little Bender you're talking about. I can't cut it off. You're not a robot or a man so you wouldn't understand. I gotta get out of here.,Leela,Wait! I want you to look me in the eye and promise you won't get behind the wheel without some kind of alcoholic beverage in your hand.
Leela,Wait! I want you to look me in the eye and promise you won't get behind the wheel without some kind of alcoholic beverage in your hand.,Fry,What up?
Fry,What up?,Leela,I can't just stand by and be silent about Bender anymore.
Leela,I can't just stand by and be silent about Bender anymore.,Fry,Silent? You've been meddling for two solid weeks.
Fry,Silent? You've been meddling for two solid weeks.,Leela,Well I can't just do that anymore. Your best friend is out there somewhere destroying himself.
Leela,Well I can't just do that anymore. Your best friend is out there somewhere destroying himself.,Fry,Really? I didn't think he'd miss this apartment that much.
Fry,Really? I didn't think he'd miss this apartment that much.,Leela,"He doesn't care about the apartment, he cares about you. And you turned your back on him."
Leela,"He doesn't care about the apartment, he cares about you. And you turned your back on him.",Fry,"Oh, man. I had no idea. If only I knew where he was I'd go talk to him."
Fry,"Oh, man. I had no idea. If only I knew where he was I'd go talk to him.",Fry,Bender! You're blind-stinking sober!
Fry,Bender! You're blind-stinking sober!,Bender,That's right! I'm sober and crazy and I don't know what I might do!
Bender,That's right! I'm sober and crazy and I don't know what I might do!,Fry,Don't do it!
Fry,Don't do it!,Bender,"I don't know what it is yet. Oh, yeah, now I remember. I thought I could live alone, but I can't. So, I'm gonna do what it takes to be your roommate again."
Bender,"I don't know what it is yet. Oh, yeah, now I remember. I thought I could live alone, but I can't. So, I'm gonna do what it takes to be your roommate again.",Leela,Bender! Stop!
Leela,Bender! Stop!,Fry,Cutting Leela's head off won't solve anything!
Fry,Cutting Leela's head off won't solve anything!,Bender,"No, I'm going to chop off my antenna."
Bender,"No, I'm going to chop off my antenna.",Fry,"Hey, yeah! That sounds good. Can I give you a hand?"
Fry,"Hey, yeah! That sounds good. Can I give you a hand?",Leela,Fry! Don't help him mutilate himself.
Leela,Fry! Don't help him mutilate himself.,Fry,or something.
Fry,or something.,Bender,I'm gonna do it! I'm really gonna do it! Don't try and stop me! Here goes.
Bender,I'm gonna do it! I'm really gonna do it! Don't try and stop me! Here goes.,Fry,"Hey, it works! The static's gone."
Fry,"Hey, it works! The static's gone.",Human,"Friend: I hate that this came between us, Calculon."
Human,"Friend: I hate that this came between us, Calculon.",Calculon,Me too. I'm filled with a large number of powerful emotions.
Calculon,Me too. I'm filled with a large number of powerful emotions.,Human,Friend: You're my best friend. I'm sorry I treated you so badly.
Human,Friend: You're my best friend. I'm sorry I treated you so badly.,Calculon,"Apology accepted. After all, you're only human."
Calculon,"Apology accepted. After all, you're only human.",Leela,You guys could learn a lesson from those two.
Leela,You guys could learn a lesson from those two.,Fry,She's right.
Fry,She's right.,Bender,"You're my best friend, Fry, I'm sorry I treated you so badly."
Bender,"You're my best friend, Fry, I'm sorry I treated you so badly.",Fry,"Apology accepted. After all, you're only human."
Fry,"Apology accepted. After all, you're only human.",Leela,"Oh, never mind!"
Leela,"Oh, never mind!",Fry,What's wrong?
Fry,What's wrong?,Bender,Nothing. I guess I'm just going to have to get used to being half a robot.
Bender,Nothing. I guess I'm just going to have to get used to being half a robot.,Fry,"Aw, this isn't right. Listen, Bender, if we found your antenna could they still reattach it?"
Fry,"Aw, this isn't right. Listen, Bender, if we found your antenna could they still reattach it?",Bender,Maybe. If we get it on ice right away.
Bender,Maybe. If we get it on ice right away.,Smitty,Bingo!
Smitty,Bingo!,URL,an antenna?
URL,an antenna?,Bender,"This time, you'll have all the human comfort. We'll get a couple of toilets, some food cookers, maybe a puppy."
Bender,"This time, you'll have all the human comfort. We'll get a couple of toilets, some food cookers, maybe a puppy.",Fry,It's good to be home.
Fry,It's good to be home.,Bender,"It sure is. By the way, I saved your stuff."
Bender,"It sure is. By the way, I saved your stuff.",Fry,"So that's where those skin flakes went. Hmm, do you think this fruit tree's going to get enough light?"
Fry,"So that's where those skin flakes went. Hmm, do you think this fruit tree's going to get enough light?",Bender,There's a window in the closet.
Bender,There's a window in the closet.,Fry,"This is huge! Bender, why don't I just live in here?"
Fry,"This is huge! Bender, why don't I just live in here?",Bender,"In a closet? Oh, humans!"
Bender,"In a closet? Oh, humans!",Leela,This place was a great choice. The food is amazing. And such generous portions.
Leela,This place was a great choice. The food is amazing. And such generous portions.,Doug,You like the meal just wait until you try these after-dinner mints.
Doug,You like the meal just wait until you try these after-dinner mints.,Leela,Ew!
Leela,Ew!,Fry,What was wrong with your date last night?
Fry,What was wrong with your date last night?,Leela,lizard tongue.
Leela,lizard tongue.,Amy,You're too picky.
Amy,You're too picky.,Fry,"Yeah. If you rule out every guy with a lizard tongue or a low I.Q. or an explosive violent temper, of course you're gonna be lonely."
Fry,"Yeah. If you rule out every guy with a lizard tongue or a low I.Q. or an explosive violent temper, of course you're gonna be lonely.",Leela,There's nothing wrong with having high standards. Now can we please stop--
Leela,There's nothing wrong with having high standards. Now can we please stop--,Zoidberg,The female Leela's problem is purely medical. Soon she will drop her eggs and they will hatch and all will be well.
Zoidberg,The female Leela's problem is purely medical. Soon she will drop her eggs and they will hatch and all will be well.,Amy,"You just have to give guys a chance. Sometimes you meet a guy and think he's a pig, but then later you realise he actually has a really good body."
Amy,"You just have to give guys a chance. Sometimes you meet a guy and think he's a pig, but then later you realise he actually has a really good body.",Leela,"Thank you all for the inspiring advice, but I'm perfectly happy with my life the way it is."
Leela,"Thank you all for the inspiring advice, but I'm perfectly happy with my life the way it is.",Bender,That sounds like a cry for help.
Bender,That sounds like a cry for help.,Amy,Let's all take her out tonight. There's lots of great places to meet people.
Amy,Let's all take her out tonight. There's lots of great places to meet people.,Hermes,The Federal Sex Bureau.
Hermes,The Federal Sex Bureau.,Bender,A saucy puppet show.
Bender,A saucy puppet show.,Zoidberg,The rotting carcass of a whale.
Zoidberg,The rotting carcass of a whale.,Amy,"Hmm, I'll pick!"
Amy,"Hmm, I'll pick!",Amy,"Oh, wow! It's totally retro!"
Amy,"Oh, wow! It's totally retro!",Amy,Guh! Because nobody wears them anymore! Rings are stupid!
Amy,Guh! Because nobody wears them anymore! Rings are stupid!,Fry,I think they look cool.
Fry,I think they look cool.,Amy,Sh! Don't let anyone hear you say that!
Amy,Sh! Don't let anyone hear you say that!,Man,"Hey, did that guy just say rings are cool?"
Man,"Hey, did that guy just say rings are cool?",Amy,"Nope, he said they're stupid."
Amy,"Nope, he said they're stupid.",Man,Cool!
Man,Cool!,Amy,So what do you think of that guy by the bar?
Amy,So what do you think of that guy by the bar?,Leela,I don't know. Maybe?
Leela,I don't know. Maybe?,Bender,"Forget it, he's gay."
Bender,"Forget it, he's gay.",Leela,What? How can you tell?
Leela,What? How can you tell?,Leela,There's no such thing.
Leela,There's no such thing.,Bender,Yep! He's gay!
Bender,Yep! He's gay!,Amy,Are you sure?
Amy,Are you sure?,Bender,Definitely. Unless I'm getting interference from a gay weather balloon.
Bender,Definitely. Unless I'm getting interference from a gay weather balloon.,21st-century,girl: You're from the 20th century? That's incredible! I'm from the 21st century.
21st-century,girl: You're from the 20th century? That's incredible! I'm from the 21st century.,Fry,No way! We've got so much in common.
Fry,No way! We've got so much in common.,21st-century,girl: We sure do. Remember when those cyborgs enslaved humanity?
21st-century,girl: We sure do. Remember when those cyborgs enslaved humanity?,Fry,"Uh, yeah! That rings a bell."
Fry,"Uh, yeah! That rings a bell.",Amy.,Bolt is a hyper-sled racer with 10 wins on the pro-circuit.
Amy.,Bolt is a hyper-sled racer with 10 wins on the pro-circuit.,Bolt,"Hello, beautiful!"
Bolt,"Hello, beautiful!",Bender,circuit.
Bender,circuit.,Bolt,I wish! Those cats can really fly.
Bolt,I wish! Those cats can really fly.,"Amy,",an entity of pure energy.
"Amy,",an entity of pure energy.,Leela,"That's great, really, but he's just not what I'm looking for."
Leela,"That's great, really, but he's just not what I'm looking for.",M-5438,"I understand. One day you will evolve beyond your physical body, and on that day I hope you will pick up the phone."
M-5438,"I understand. One day you will evolve beyond your physical body, and on that day I hope you will pick up the phone.",Amy,You're impossible.
Amy,You're impossible.,Bender,Just as well; I think he comes from a dimension that's big on musical theatre.
Bender,Just as well; I think he comes from a dimension that's big on musical theatre.,Fry,Pst. I need the apartment tonight. Go see a saucy puppet show.
Fry,Pst. I need the apartment tonight. Go see a saucy puppet show.,Bender,Can do!
Bender,Can do!,The,"Hip Joint janitor Oh, my! Eurgh! I'm sorry, I thought you had two eyes."
The,"Hip Joint janitor Oh, my! Eurgh! I'm sorry, I thought you had two eyes.",Bender,"So, Leela, you must have had your pick of the litter last night at closing time."
Bender,"So, Leela, you must have had your pick of the litter last night at closing time.",Leela,Could you guys please stop talking about my personal life?
Leela,Could you guys please stop talking about my personal life?,Farnsworth,"Yes, let's all talk about Leela's personal life later. But right now we have business to attend to."
Farnsworth,"Yes, let's all talk about Leela's personal life later. But right now we have business to attend to.",Fry,A delivery?
Fry,A delivery?,Farnsworth,No. A tax-deductible mission of charity.
Farnsworth,No. A tax-deductible mission of charity.,Computer,Voice.
Computer,Voice.,Farnsworth,This is Vergon 6.
Farnsworth,This is Vergon 6.,Farnsworth,"It's a sunny little doomed planet, inhabited by a number of frisky little doomed animals."
Farnsworth,"It's a sunny little doomed planet, inhabited by a number of frisky little doomed animals.",Leela,Animals?
Leela,Animals?,"Farnsworth,",each pound of which weighs over ten thousand  pounds.
"Farnsworth,",each pound of which weighs over ten thousand  pounds.,Leela,Wait! What about the animals?
Leela,Wait! What about the animals?,Farnsworth,"Well, dark matter is extremely valuable as starship fuel. That's why it was all mined out, leaving the planet completely hollow."
Farnsworth,"Well, dark matter is extremely valuable as starship fuel. That's why it was all mined out, leaving the planet completely hollow.",Leela,"Yes, but what about the animals?"
Leela,"Yes, but what about the animals?",Farnsworth,The wha?
Farnsworth,The wha?,Leela,The animals.
Leela,The animals.,Farnsworth,"I didn't say anything about animals. Now it seems that the planet will collapse within three days. Incidentally, this will kill all the animals."
Farnsworth,"I didn't say anything about animals. Now it seems that the planet will collapse within three days. Incidentally, this will kill all the animals.",Bender,Oh!
Bender,Oh!,Fry,I bet you Leela's holding out for a nice guy with one eye.
Fry,I bet you Leela's holding out for a nice guy with one eye.,Bender,"That'll take forever. What she oughta do is find a nice guy with two eyes, then poke one out."
Bender,"That'll take forever. What she oughta do is find a nice guy with two eyes, then poke one out.",Fry,"Yeah, that'd be a timesaver."
Fry,"Yeah, that'd be a timesaver.",Leela,Do you mind?
Leela,Do you mind?,Bender,You can use this as an eye-poker.
Bender,You can use this as an eye-poker.,Leela,"Thank you. But I don't care how many eyes a man has ... as long as it's less than five. All I'm looking for is a guy who's adventurous, self-confident..."
Leela,"Thank you. But I don't care how many eyes a man has ... as long as it's less than five. All I'm looking for is a guy who's adventurous, self-confident...",Leela,...maybe a snappy dresser.
Leela,...maybe a snappy dresser.,Zapp,"These new uniforms are pretty snappy, eh, first officer?"
Zapp,"These new uniforms are pretty snappy, eh, first officer?",Kif,as you are. Now what do you want to do about that unidentified ship?
Kif,as you are. Now what do you want to do about that unidentified ship?,Zapp,Mmm! That's got a nice feel to it.
Zapp,Mmm! That's got a nice feel to it.,Zapp,"Captain's journal: Star date, 3000.3."
Zapp,"Captain's journal: Star date, 3000.3.",Kif,"Who are you talking to, sir?"
Kif,"Who are you talking to, sir?",Zapp,"We have detected a vessel attempting to break the security cordon around Vergon 6. I'm anticipating an all-out tactical dogfight, followed by a light dinner ... ravioli, ham, sundae bar."
Zapp,"We have detected a vessel attempting to break the security cordon around Vergon 6. I'm anticipating an all-out tactical dogfight, followed by a light dinner ... ravioli, ham, sundae bar.",Leela,"Hey, look! That's Zapp Brannigan's ship."
Leela,"Hey, look! That's Zapp Brannigan's ship.",Fry,Zapp Brannigan?
Fry,Zapp Brannigan?,Leela,Uh-huh!
Leela,Uh-huh!,Fry,Zapp Brannigan?
Fry,Zapp Brannigan?,Kif,"Shall I fire on them now, sir?"
Kif,"Shall I fire on them now, sir?",Zapp,What?
Zapp,What?,Fry,Wow!
Fry,Wow!,Bender,"A grim day for robot-kind. Ah, but we can always build more Killbots!"
Bender,"A grim day for robot-kind. Ah, but we can always build more Killbots!",Fry,Leela's got a boyfriend!
Fry,Leela's got a boyfriend!,Leela,No I don't. But I think we ought to meet with him and see if he'll help us rescue those animals.
Leela,No I don't. But I think we ought to meet with him and see if he'll help us rescue those animals.,Kif,"Sir, they're headed straight for us."
Kif,"Sir, they're headed straight for us.",Zapp,But the one thing their captain doesn't realise and never will is that--
Zapp,But the one thing their captain doesn't realise and never will is that--,Kif,"Sir, they've docked with us and have come aboard."
Kif,"Sir, they've docked with us and have come aboard.",Zapp,"If that wicker chair I like survives the slaughter, have it sent to my P.O. box."
Zapp,"If that wicker chair I like survives the slaughter, have it sent to my P.O. box.",Leela,"Hello, I'm Leela, captain of the Planet Express delivery ship. We've come aboard to plead for your assistance."
Leela,"Hello, I'm Leela, captain of the Planet Express delivery ship. We've come aboard to plead for your assistance.",Kif,"Well, if there's anything--"
Kif,"Well, if there's anything--",Zapp,I'm in command here. Zapp Brannigan. Has my fame preceded me or was I too quick for you?
Zapp,I'm in command here. Zapp Brannigan. Has my fame preceded me or was I too quick for you?,Leela,"Oh, not at all. I'm just so, uh, really thrilled to meet you!"
Leela,"Oh, not at all. I'm just so, uh, really thrilled to meet you!",Zapp,You're an impressive piece of captain. Beautiful and deadly -- a potent combination.
Zapp,You're an impressive piece of captain. Beautiful and deadly -- a potent combination.,Leela,You don't mean that!
Leela,You don't mean that!,Zapp,"But I do. I doubt I've seen more than three or four captains sexier than you, and only one who was deadlier."
Zapp,"But I do. I doubt I've seen more than three or four captains sexier than you, and only one who was deadlier.",Fry,I heard that one time you single-handedly defeated a horde of rampaging somethings in the something-something-system.
Fry,I heard that one time you single-handedly defeated a horde of rampaging somethings in the something-something-system.,Zapp,The Killbots? A trifle! It was simply a matter of outsmarting them.
Zapp,The Killbots? A trifle! It was simply a matter of outsmarting them.,Fry,Wow! I never would have thought of that!
Fry,Wow! I never would have thought of that!,Zapp,A little more ... more ... keep going.
Zapp,A little more ... more ... keep going.,Leela,"Captain Brannigan, we really need to talk to you about our mission."
Leela,"Captain Brannigan, we really need to talk to you about our mission.",Zapp,"Whatever it is, I'm willing to put wave after wave of men at your disposal. Right, men?"
Zapp,"Whatever it is, I'm willing to put wave after wave of men at your disposal. Right, men?",Crewman,You suck!
Crewman,You suck!,Leela,We're hoping to save the animals of Vergon 6 from extinction. And if you could just--
Leela,We're hoping to save the animals of Vergon 6 from extinction. And if you could just--,Zapp,Vergon 6? This light dinner is over.
Zapp,Vergon 6? This light dinner is over.,Leela,Wait! What's wrong?
Leela,Wait! What's wrong?,Leela,But people already interfered. That planet was mined completely hollow.
Leela,But people already interfered. That planet was mined completely hollow.,Zapp,"Yes, by a Democratic Order of Planets mining crew."
Zapp,"Yes, by a Democratic Order of Planets mining crew.",Leela,This doesn't make any sense.
Leela,This doesn't make any sense.,Zapp,I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's Law. I merely enforce it.
Zapp,I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's Law. I merely enforce it.,Leela,Fine! We'll save the animals without your help.
Leela,Fine! We'll save the animals without your help.,Zapp,I'm afraid I can't allow that. Guards!
Zapp,I'm afraid I can't allow that. Guards!,Fry,What just happened?
Fry,What just happened?,Bender,He's throwing us in prison.
Bender,He's throwing us in prison.,Fry,Dang! Can I get this wrapped up?
Fry,Dang! Can I get this wrapped up?,Leela,Ow! I might've liked Zapp Brannigan if he weren't a pompous dimwit who threw me in prison.
Leela,Ow! I might've liked Zapp Brannigan if he weren't a pompous dimwit who threw me in prison.,Bender,You really are too picky.
Bender,You really are too picky.,Zapp,"Kif, follow me up to the observation deck. I've got some musing to do."
Zapp,"Kif, follow me up to the observation deck. I've got some musing to do.",Kif,"Oh, jeez!"
Kif,"Oh, jeez!",Zapp,"I'm facing a formidable female adversary, Kif. Suggestions?"
Zapp,"I'm facing a formidable female adversary, Kif. Suggestions?",Kif,"I fail to see any problem, sir. You already imprisoned her under directive B-10.8-1."
Kif,"I fail to see any problem, sir. You already imprisoned her under directive B-10.8-1.",Zapp,You mean Brannigan's Law?
Zapp,You mean Brannigan's Law?,Kif,"Right, that law."
Kif,"Right, that law.",Zapp,Which one?
Zapp,Which one?,Kif,Brannigan's Law.
Kif,Brannigan's Law.,Zapp,"This time we are sure she's a woman, right?"
Zapp,"This time we are sure she's a woman, right?",Zapp,lay out my formal shorts.
Zapp,lay out my formal shorts.,Kif,"The boy, sir?"
Kif,"The boy, sir?",Zapp,You. You lay out my formal shorts.
Zapp,You. You lay out my formal shorts.,Kif,wants to see you in his quarters.
Kif,wants to see you in his quarters.,Leela,"Good. This will be my chance to reason with him, captain to captain."
Leela,"Good. This will be my chance to reason with him, captain to captain.",Kif,And he wants you to wear this.
Kif,And he wants you to wear this.,Zapp,Come and get it!
Zapp,Come and get it!,Zapp,Well I have studied abroad. Or two!
Zapp,Well I have studied abroad. Or two!,Leela,Captain--
Leela,Captain--,Zapp,Uh-huh?
Zapp,Uh-huh?,Leela,If we could speak seriously for a moment--
Leela,If we could speak seriously for a moment--,Zapp,Uh-huh?
Zapp,Uh-huh?,Leela,I'd like you to reconsider letting us rescue those animals.
Leela,I'd like you to reconsider letting us rescue those animals.,Zapp,I like your style. I find it very... (whispering) erotic.
Zapp,I like your style. I find it very... (whispering) erotic.,Leela,What?
Leela,What?,Zapp,Erotic!
Zapp,Erotic!,Fry,"We can definitely escape, Bender. All you have to do is bend the hatch off this steam pipe."
Fry,"We can definitely escape, Bender. All you have to do is bend the hatch off this steam pipe.",Bender,"Hey, yeah!"
Bender,"Hey, yeah!",Fry,No good! It's full of steam!
Fry,No good! It's full of steam!,Zapp,You look like a woman who enjoys the finer things. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread.
Zapp,You look like a woman who enjoys the finer things. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread.,Leela,I'm not really in the mood.
Leela,I'm not really in the mood.,Zapp,"Leela, it's real velour. Just let yourself go."
Zapp,"Leela, it's real velour. Just let yourself go.",Leela,just go back to prison?
Leela,just go back to prison?,Leela,What are you doing?
Leela,What are you doing?,Zapp,"Oh, God, I'm pathetic. Sorry. Just go. You want the rest of the sham-pag-in?"
Zapp,"Oh, God, I'm pathetic. Sorry. Just go. You want the rest of the sham-pag-in?",Leela,No. And it's pronounced sham-pane.
Leela,No. And it's pronounced sham-pane.,Zapp,"Oh, God, no!"
Zapp,"Oh, God, no!",Leela,It's not a big deal.
Leela,It's not a big deal.,Zapp,"I get so lonely. I just thought you, a fellow captain, would understand."
Zapp,"I get so lonely. I just thought you, a fellow captain, would understand.",Leela,"Oh, forget it."
Leela,"Oh, forget it.",Zapp,"Yeah, it's great ordering people around and stuff but through it all you're completely alone."
Zapp,"Yeah, it's great ordering people around and stuff but through it all you're completely alone.",Leela,It comes with the job.
Leela,It comes with the job.,Zapp,I'm just so lonely!
Zapp,I'm just so lonely!,Leela,"Oh, come on. Cheer up. It's not that bad."
Leela,"Oh, come on. Cheer up. It's not that bad.",Fry,You wanna try escaping again?
Fry,You wanna try escaping again?,Bender,"Nah, I'm comfy."
Bender,"Nah, I'm comfy.",Fry,"Man, Leela's been gone a long time. I hope she's at least making progress with Zapp Brannigan."
Fry,"Man, Leela's been gone a long time. I hope she's at least making progress with Zapp Brannigan.",Zapp,"Good morning, lover."
Zapp,"Good morning, lover.",Leela,"Uh, listen, Zapp."
Leela,"Uh, listen, Zapp.",Zapp,Now you're officially my woman. Kudos! I can't say I don't envy you.
Zapp,Now you're officially my woman. Kudos! I can't say I don't envy you.,Leela,"Zapp, last night was a mistake."
Leela,"Zapp, last night was a mistake.",Zapp,mistake.
Zapp,mistake.,Leela,"No, just a regular mistake. For a split second my common sense was overwhelmed by pity."
Leela,"No, just a regular mistake. For a split second my common sense was overwhelmed by pity.",Zapp,A split second is all it takes. That's why sooner or later you'll come crawling back to the Zapper.
Zapp,A split second is all it takes. That's why sooner or later you'll come crawling back to the Zapper.,Leela,The only kind of crawling I'm doing to you is away ... from!
Leela,The only kind of crawling I'm doing to you is away ... from!,Zapp,"Leela, you're obviously confused and aroused."
Zapp,"Leela, you're obviously confused and aroused.",Leela,"Look, I'm going down to Vergon 6 to save those animals whether you like it or not."
Leela,"Look, I'm going down to Vergon 6 to save those animals whether you like it or not.",Zapp,Go ahead. I won't stop you.
Zapp,Go ahead. I won't stop you.,Leela,Threaten all you-- Wait. What?
Leela,Threaten all you-- Wait. What?,Zapp,"sets in. Then you'll come crawling back for another taste of sweet, sweet candy ... bam!"
Zapp,"sets in. Then you'll come crawling back for another taste of sweet, sweet candy ... bam!",Leela,Eurgh!
Leela,Eurgh!,Zapp,Kif!
Zapp,Kif!,Kif,"Yes, Captain?"
Kif,"Yes, Captain?",Zapp,I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
Zapp,I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.,Kif,The fatso says you're free to go.
Kif,The fatso says you're free to go.,Fry,Really? Why?
Fry,Really? Why?,Kif,Why indeed.
Kif,Why indeed.,Fry,What does that mean?
Fry,What does that mean?,Leela,Nothing.
Leela,Nothing.,Bender,So should we get our stuff and head down to the planet?
Bender,So should we get our stuff and head down to the planet?,Leela,"We just talked, OK?!"
Leela,"We just talked, OK?!",Leela,"Alright, we don't have much time to collect these animals. The planet is supposed to collapse in approximately two hours ago."
Leela,"Alright, we don't have much time to collect these animals. The planet is supposed to collapse in approximately two hours ago.",Leela,Hmm. He doesn't seem to be on the checklist.
Leela,Hmm. He doesn't seem to be on the checklist.,Bender,"So, you're saying we can cook him?"
Bender,"So, you're saying we can cook him?",Fry,"Yeah, a barbecue! I'll wear my hilarious apron."
Fry,"Yeah, a barbecue! I'll wear my hilarious apron.",Bender,Aww! (whispering to Fry) I'll fire up the grill!
Bender,Aww! (whispering to Fry) I'll fire up the grill!,Leela,I hope he'll be OK in there with all those big animals.
Leela,I hope he'll be OK in there with all those big animals.,Zapp,"Y'know, Kif, once my woman returns I won't have much time to hang out with the boys anymore."
Zapp,"Y'know, Kif, once my woman returns I won't have much time to hang out with the boys anymore.",Kif,"That's a shame, sir."
Kif,"That's a shame, sir.",Zapp,Never mind. Just give me a back rub.
Zapp,Never mind. Just give me a back rub.,Leela,Good. That's the last species.
Leela,Good. That's the last species.,Bender,Hey. What the--?
Bender,Hey. What the--?,Fry,Where'd they all go?
Fry,Where'd they all go?,Leela,Nibbler!
Leela,Nibbler!,Fry,I can't believe we flew halfway across the galaxy and enjoyed a steam just to get lunch for that stupid animal!
Fry,I can't believe we flew halfway across the galaxy and enjoyed a steam just to get lunch for that stupid animal!,Bender,He's pending for a bending.
Bender,He's pending for a bending.,Leela,"Leave him alone. It's not his fault that he's an unstoppable killing machine. Is it, snoogums?"
Leela,"Leave him alone. It's not his fault that he's an unstoppable killing machine. Is it, snoogums?",Fry,The planet's kerploding!
Fry,The planet's kerploding!,Leela,"We're out of fuel. Bender, I told you to fill the tank before we left."
Leela,"We're out of fuel. Bender, I told you to fill the tank before we left.",Bender,"Yeah, I'll do it when we get back."
Bender,"Yeah, I'll do it when we get back.",Fry,"Man, lucky for us Zapp Brannigan's nearby."
Fry,"Man, lucky for us Zapp Brannigan's nearby.",Leela,No way! Forget it! I refuse to go crawling back to him!
Leela,No way! Forget it! I refuse to go crawling back to him!,Fry,What? What are you talking about?
Fry,What? What are you talking about?,Leela,Nothing. We just talked.
Leela,Nothing. We just talked.,Bender,"Oh, my God!"
Bender,"Oh, my God!",Fry,"How could you, Leela? I thought you had some standards. I mean, jeez, he's a dumb, gross gorilla!"
Fry,"How could you, Leela? I thought you had some standards. I mean, jeez, he's a dumb, gross gorilla!",Leela,That's enough! Don't you think I feel bad enough already?
Leela,That's enough! Don't you think I feel bad enough already?,Fry,No!
Fry,No!,Leela,"I mean, if living is that important to you."
Leela,"I mean, if living is that important to you.",Zapp,Hmm.
Zapp,Hmm.,Leela,"Hello, Zapp?"
Leela,"Hello, Zapp?",Zapp,"Well, well, well!"
Zapp,"Well, well, well!",Leela,"Zapp, we're out of fuel..."
Leela,"Zapp, we're out of fuel...",Leela,...and Vergon 6 is about to implode. We need your help.
Leela,...and Vergon 6 is about to implode. We need your help.,Zapp,"So, crawling back to the Big Z like a bird on its belly. Delicious."
Zapp,"So, crawling back to the Big Z like a bird on its belly. Delicious.",Leela,Bird's don't crawl.
Leela,Bird's don't crawl.,Zapp,They've been known to.
Zapp,They've been known to.,Leela,"Look, are you going to rescue us or not?"
Leela,"Look, are you going to rescue us or not?",Leela,Please?
Leela,Please?,Leela,Big Z?
Leela,Big Z?,Zapp,"That's the law, Leela. And Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love: Hard and fast!"
Zapp,"That's the law, Leela. And Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love: Hard and fast!",Zapp,Now put that greasy rat outside and we'll tow you to safety.
Zapp,Now put that greasy rat outside and we'll tow you to safety.,Leela,"I would never abandon a helpless animal. Y'know, Zapp, once I thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then I realised that inside you were just a pitiful child. But now I realise that outside that child is a big, pompous buffoon!"
Leela,"I would never abandon a helpless animal. Y'know, Zapp, once I thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then I realised that inside you were just a pitiful child. But now I realise that outside that child is a big, pompous buffoon!",Zapp,And which one rocked your world?
Zapp,And which one rocked your world?,Fry,Wow! Way to tell that guy off. Now what's your secret escape plan?
Fry,Wow! Way to tell that guy off. Now what's your secret escape plan?,Leela,"Uh, I guess to sit here and wait for death."
Leela,"Uh, I guess to sit here and wait for death.",Bender,Can do!
Bender,Can do!,Bender,What the hell was that?
Bender,What the hell was that?,Fry,Pew!
Fry,Pew!,Leela,I don't believe it! It's dark matter.
Leela,I don't believe it! It's dark matter.,Bender,So this guy just unloaded a steaming pile of starship fuel?
Bender,So this guy just unloaded a steaming pile of starship fuel?,Leela,"Come on. That should be more than enough fuel to get us outta here. Bender, pick it up and put it in the engine."
Leela,"Come on. That should be more than enough fuel to get us outta here. Bender, pick it up and put it in the engine.",Leela,And some of the animals survived.
Leela,And some of the animals survived.,Bender,So a couple of animals didn't die and Leela got lucky. That's what I call a successful mission!
Bender,So a couple of animals didn't die and Leela got lucky. That's what I call a successful mission!,Fry,We're heroes!
Fry,We're heroes!,Leela,Dear Captain's Diary: I may not have found love on this mission but I did find a cute little companion who excretes starship fuel. And that's just as good.
Leela,Dear Captain's Diary: I may not have found love on this mission but I did find a cute little companion who excretes starship fuel. And that's just as good.,Zapp,Captain's journal: Star date ... uh.
Zapp,Captain's journal: Star date ... uh.,Kif,April 13th.
Kif,April 13th.,Zapp,April 13th ... point two.
Zapp,April 13th ... point two.,Zapp,"We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However, I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars? Kif, I'm asking you a question!"
Zapp,"We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However, I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars? Kif, I'm asking you a question!",Leela,What do you think of the view Fry?
Leela,What do you think of the view Fry?,Fry,"It really puts things in perspective. I mean, from up here an entire world can seem utterly insignificant."
Fry,"It really puts things in perspective. I mean, from up here an entire world can seem utterly insignificant.",Bender,"Hey nice seats! We're close enough so when you knock a player down with a beer bottle, he stays down!"
Bender,"Hey nice seats! We're close enough so when you knock a player down with a beer bottle, he stays down!",Fry,exactly the same as baseball?
Fry,exactly the same as baseball?,Farnsworth,Baseball?? God forbid!
Farnsworth,Baseball?? God forbid!,Leela,Face it Fry. Baseball was as boring as mum and apple pie. That's why they jazzed it up.
Leela,Face it Fry. Baseball was as boring as mum and apple pie. That's why they jazzed it up.,Fry,"Boring? Baseball wasn't - hmm, so they finally jazzed it up?"
Fry,"Boring? Baseball wasn't - hmm, so they finally jazzed it up?",Fry,Home run!! Woooo! Right?
Fry,Home run!! Woooo! Right?,Umpire,Out!
Umpire,Out!,Fry,What just happened? Why is the ball on that springy thing?
Fry,What just happened? Why is the ball on that springy thing?,Leela,It's traditional. Just like aluminium bats and the seventh inning grope.
Leela,It's traditional. Just like aluminium bats and the seventh inning grope.,Bender,Aww here you go kid!
Bender,Aww here you go kid!,Zoidberg,I'd like a jumbo squidlog please.
Zoidberg,I'd like a jumbo squidlog please.,Man,We don't sell those.
Man,We don't sell those.,Zoidberg,"Alright, alright. Let me have one of your young on a roll."
Zoidberg,"Alright, alright. Let me have one of your young on a roll.",Man,We're out of rolls.
Man,We're out of rolls.,Zoidberg,Fine! Just give me something crawling with parasites.
Zoidberg,Fine! Just give me something crawling with parasites.,Fry,"Mmmm, at least hot dogs haven't changed."
Fry,"Mmmm, at least hot dogs haven't changed.",Bender,Hey buddies who wants popcorn?
Bender,Hey buddies who wants popcorn?,All,"I'll have some, me, yeah!"
All,"I'll have some, me, yeah!",Bender,Anyone want butter on that?
Bender,Anyone want butter on that?,Fry,"Hey I'm starting to get the hang of this game! The blerns are loaded, the count's three blerns and two anti-blerns and the infield blern rule is in effect, right?"
Fry,"Hey I'm starting to get the hang of this game! The blerns are loaded, the count's three blerns and two anti-blerns and the infield blern rule is in effect, right?",Fry,What just happened?
Fry,What just happened?,Leela's,on a pace to hit 70 blerns!
Leela's,on a pace to hit 70 blerns!,Farnsworth.,And Johnson played back in the days when steroid injections were mandatory.
Farnsworth.,And Johnson played back in the days when steroid injections were mandatory.,"Bender,",there was a blern hitting machine!
"Bender,",there was a blern hitting machine!,Leela,Exactly! He was a machine designed to hit blerns! I mean come on! Wireless Joe was nothing but a programmable bat on wheels.
Leela,Exactly! He was a machine designed to hit blerns! I mean come on! Wireless Joe was nothing but a programmable bat on wheels.,Leela,Yep.
Leela,Yep.,Bender,You humans are so scared of a little robot competition you won't even let us on the field.
Bender,You humans are so scared of a little robot competition you won't even let us on the field.,Fry,What are you talking about? There's all kinds of robots down there.
Fry,What are you talking about? There's all kinds of robots down there.,Bender,"Yeah doing crap work! They're bat boys, ball polishers, sprinkler systems. But how many robot managers are there?"
Bender,"Yeah doing crap work! They're bat boys, ball polishers, sprinkler systems. But how many robot managers are there?",Fry,Eleven?
Fry,Eleven?,Bender,And what a surprise! Look who's scraping up the filth! Is it a human child? I wish!
Bender,And what a surprise! Look who's scraping up the filth! Is it a human child? I wish!,Farnsworth,Oh dear Lord!
Farnsworth,Oh dear Lord!,Fry,What's wrong?
Fry,What's wrong?,Farnsworth,It's...my...new...pager.
Farnsworth,It's...my...new...pager.,Hermes,Get away you filthy bird! Shoo! Professor turn me off quick!
Hermes,Get away you filthy bird! Shoo! Professor turn me off quick!,Farnsworth,I'm sorry what?
Farnsworth,I'm sorry what?,Hermes,See you at the office!
Hermes,See you at the office!,Bender,Admit it. You all think robots are machines built by humans to make their lives easier.
Bender,Admit it. You all think robots are machines built by humans to make their lives easier.,Fry,"Well, aren't they?"
Fry,"Well, aren't they?",Bender,I've never made anyone's life easier and you know it!
Bender,I've never made anyone's life easier and you know it!,Farnsworth.,A world where humans are killed on sight!
Farnsworth.,A world where humans are killed on sight!,Fry,Why is that great news?
Fry,Why is that great news?,Farnsworth,I'm glad you asked that question Fry. You see Chapek 9 was colonised centuries ago by a murderous crew of radical robot separatists.
Farnsworth,I'm glad you asked that question Fry. You see Chapek 9 was colonised centuries ago by a murderous crew of radical robot separatists.,Leela,Hey hold on. I understand these robots hate humans but how do they feel about humanoid aliens?
Leela,Hey hold on. I understand these robots hate humans but how do they feel about humanoid aliens?,Farnsworth,They're not fans.
Farnsworth,They're not fans.,Hermes,That's why Bender will have to make the actual delivery.
Hermes,That's why Bender will have to make the actual delivery.,Bender,"Oh I get it, make the robot do all the work!"
Bender,"Oh I get it, make the robot do all the work!",Leela,This is the first actual work you've ever had to do around here.
Leela,This is the first actual work you've ever had to do around here.,Bender,Well I'm not doing it! It's a robot holiday.
Bender,Well I'm not doing it! It's a robot holiday.,Fry,Really? Which one?
Fry,Really? Which one?,Bender.,The holiest two weeks on the robot calendar.
Bender.,The holiest two weeks on the robot calendar.,Fry,Man that one was a blast!
Fry,Man that one was a blast!,Bender,It wasn't just a blast it was a sacred tribute to my ancestral prototypes which happened to take the form of a drinking contest.
Bender,It wasn't just a blast it was a sacred tribute to my ancestral prototypes which happened to take the form of a drinking contest.,Bender,"All right, I'll go. But so help me, I'll hold a grudge against every last one of you for the rest of your lives."
Bender,"All right, I'll go. But so help me, I'll hold a grudge against every last one of you for the rest of your lives.",Farnsworth,Well then it's settled. So long everyone!
Farnsworth,Well then it's settled. So long everyone!,Fry,So let me get this straight: This planet is completely uninhabited?
Fry,So let me get this straight: This planet is completely uninhabited?,Bender,No. It's inhabited by robots!
Bender,No. It's inhabited by robots!,Fry,Oh. Kinda like how a warehouse is inhabited by boxes.
Fry,Oh. Kinda like how a warehouse is inhabited by boxes.,Leela,"OK Bender, we're here. It's time to get to work."
Leela,"OK Bender, we're here. It's time to get to work.",Leela,"Now we can't land on the surface because those robots will kill Fry and me, so we'll have to stay up here and lower you with the winch. And remember: You don't know humans, you don't work for humans, and above all, you don't like humans!"
Leela,"Now we can't land on the surface because those robots will kill Fry and me, so we'll have to stay up here and lower you with the winch. And remember: You don't know humans, you don't work for humans, and above all, you don't like humans!",Bender,I'll try to keep that in mind!
Bender,I'll try to keep that in mind!,Leela,"Hmm, he seems pretty angry."
Leela,"Hmm, he seems pretty angry.",Fry,Yeah but I guess I'd be angry too if I had to go to some uninhabited planet.
Fry,Yeah but I guess I'd be angry too if I had to go to some uninhabited planet.,Leela,Maybe we ought to do something nice for him.
Leela,Maybe we ought to do something nice for him.,Leela,There. That ought to show that stupid robot we care about him.
Leela,There. That ought to show that stupid robot we care about him.,Fry,"Ah, Bender must be done with the delivery."
Fry,"Ah, Bender must be done with the delivery.",Fry,Oh my God! We have to go down and rescue him.
Fry,Oh my God! We have to go down and rescue him.,Leela,No we can't! They'll kill us on sight.
Leela,No we can't! They'll kill us on sight.,Fry,Well what are we going to do?
Fry,Well what are we going to do?,Leela,"I don't know, I don't know. It's not an easy decision. If only I had two or three minutes to think about it."
Leela,"I don't know, I don't know. It's not an easy decision. If only I had two or three minutes to think about it.",Leela,"OK. If we're going to save Bender, we've got to look and act exactly like robots."
Leela,"OK. If we're going to save Bender, we've got to look and act exactly like robots.",Fry,: I am fully operational Captain.
Fry,: I am fully operational Captain.,Leela,"We have to walk like robots, talk like robots and if necessary solve complex differential equations like robots."
Leela,"We have to walk like robots, talk like robots and if necessary solve complex differential equations like robots.",Fry,I can sort of dance like a robot. Will that help?
Fry,I can sort of dance like a robot. Will that help?,Leela,Fry first of all this is serious. And second of all...
Leela,Fry first of all this is serious. And second of all...,Fry,"Man, we look stupid. We should've gotten store bought costumes."
Fry,"Man, we look stupid. We should've gotten store bought costumes.",Leela,in this quadrant.
Leela,in this quadrant.,Robot,guard: Halt!
Robot,guard: Halt!,Robot,guard #2: Be you robot or human?
Robot,guard #2: Be you robot or human?,Leela,Robot...we be.
Leela,Robot...we be.,Fry,Eh?
Fry,Eh?,Robot,guard #1: Administer the test.
Robot,guard #1: Administer the test.,Robot,guard #2: Which of the following would you most prefer? A: A puppy? B: A pretty flower from your sweetie or C: A large properly formatted data file?
Robot,guard #2: Which of the following would you most prefer? A: A puppy? B: A pretty flower from your sweetie or C: A large properly formatted data file?,Robot,guard #1: Choose!
Robot,guard #1: Choose!,Fry,Is the puppy mechanical in any way?
Fry,Is the puppy mechanical in any way?,Robot,guard #2: No. It is the bad kind of puppy.
Robot,guard #2: No. It is the bad kind of puppy.,Leela,Then we'll go with that data file.
Leela,Then we'll go with that data file.,Robot,guard #2: Correct.
Robot,guard #2: Correct.,Robot,guard #1: The flower would also have been acceptable.
Robot,guard #1: The flower would also have been acceptable.,Robot,guard #2: You may pass.
Robot,guard #2: You may pass.,Leela,"So far, so good."
Leela,"So far, so good.",Robot,"builder: Little to the right, there you go."
Robot,"builder: Little to the right, there you go.",Leela,Have you seen this robot?
Leela,Have you seen this robot?,Robot,builder Aw!
Robot,builder Aw!,Leela,"Come on Fry, walk like a robot."
Leela,"Come on Fry, walk like a robot.",Fry,I can't. I have to go to the bathroom.
Fry,I can't. I have to go to the bathroom.,Leela,Robot's don't have bathrooms.
Leela,Robot's don't have bathrooms.,Fry,Oh right. I wonder where they all smoke in high school.
Fry,Oh right. I wonder where they all smoke in high school.,Leela,Listen. Just go behind those garbage cans. I'll stand guard.
Leela,Listen. Just go behind those garbage cans. I'll stand guard.,Leela,Hurry up Fry.
Leela,Hurry up Fry.,Resin-offering,robot: Sir? Are you aware that you're leaking coolant at an alarming rate?
Resin-offering,robot: Sir? Are you aware that you're leaking coolant at an alarming rate?,Fry,Uh...
Fry,Uh...,Resin-offering,robot: Well let me just patch you up with some hot resin.
Resin-offering,robot: Well let me just patch you up with some hot resin.,Fry,Wait. Yeah!
Fry,Wait. Yeah!,Resin-offering,robot: What sort of robot turns down a free blast of searing hot resin?
Resin-offering,robot: What sort of robot turns down a free blast of searing hot resin?,Leela,I'm sorry. My friend and I have to go and perform some mindless repetitive tasks.
Leela,I'm sorry. My friend and I have to go and perform some mindless repetitive tasks.,Resin-offering,robot: Sounds like a romantic evening. I won't keep you.
Resin-offering,robot: Sounds like a romantic evening. I won't keep you.,Patrol,Officer #1: Get the humanoids.
Patrol,Officer #1: Get the humanoids.,Patrol,Officer #2: Get the intruder.
Patrol,Officer #2: Get the intruder.,Announcer,: Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
Announcer,: Intruder alert! Intruder alert!,Leela,Quick! Let's duck in here!
Leela,Quick! Let's duck in here!,Announcer,: We interrupt this sound file to bring you a terrifying announcement. A non-metallic being has been sighted in the vicinity of Make Out Point.
Announcer,: We interrupt this sound file to bring you a terrifying announcement. A non-metallic being has been sighted in the vicinity of Make Out Point.,Rusty,: Say Wendy. Your chassis is a little scuffed. Mind if I polish it for you?
Rusty,: Say Wendy. Your chassis is a little scuffed. Mind if I polish it for you?,Wendy,: Did you hear that Rusty? It sounded like a human.
Wendy,: Did you hear that Rusty? It sounded like a human.,Rusty,: Relax Wendy. Humans will never come to our defenceless little town. It's perfectly safe to let our guard down - even for a second.
Rusty,: Relax Wendy. Humans will never come to our defenceless little town. It's perfectly safe to let our guard down - even for a second.,Robot,Human I will eat and digest you all with my system of mighty organs! Behold!
Robot,Human I will eat and digest you all with my system of mighty organs! Behold!,Audience,Ooooo!
Audience,Ooooo!,Fry,Wow the 3-D's great!
Fry,Wow the 3-D's great!,Leela,Mine's not working!
Leela,Mine's not working!,Robot,"General: : Funny, isn't it? The human was impervious to our most powerful magnetic fields, yet in the end he succumbed to a harmless sharpened stick!"
Robot,"General: : Funny, isn't it? The human was impervious to our most powerful magnetic fields, yet in the end he succumbed to a harmless sharpened stick!",Wendy,: I'm just glad the nightmare is over.
Wendy,: I'm just glad the nightmare is over.,Robot,"General: : It'll never be over Wendy. Even now humans are lurking in our playgrounds, our breezeways, perhaps even...our movie theatres!"
Robot,"General: : It'll never be over Wendy. Even now humans are lurking in our playgrounds, our breezeways, perhaps even...our movie theatres!",Fry,God help us!
Fry,God help us!,Leela,OK. Keep an eyeout for Bender.
Leela,OK. Keep an eyeout for Bender.,Robot,#1: So what did you think of the movie?
Robot,#1: So what did you think of the movie?,Fry,"Umm, too much romance, not enough human killing."
Fry,"Umm, too much romance, not enough human killing.",Robot,"#2: Yeah, it was a real chick flick."
Robot,"#2: Yeah, it was a real chick flick.",Leela,What's that?
Leela,What's that?,Robot,#1: What do you mean What's that?? Its 5 o'clock: Time for the daily human hunt.
Robot,#1: What do you mean What's that?? Its 5 o'clock: Time for the daily human hunt.,Leela,Try to stay with the crowd so no one notices how crummy you look.
Leela,Try to stay with the crowd so no one notices how crummy you look.,Crummy,Robot: Awww that was uncalled for!
Crummy,Robot: Awww that was uncalled for!,Fry,I'm over here!
Fry,I'm over here!,Robot,#4: I heard a human was draining coolant behind garbage can 738.
Robot,#4: I heard a human was draining coolant behind garbage can 738.,Robot,#5: I heard they unscrew our lugnuts at night and eat them at their human brunches.
Robot,#5: I heard they unscrew our lugnuts at night and eat them at their human brunches.,Robot,"Mayor A newly arrived refugee from Earth, lets hear it for - Bender!"
Robot,"Mayor A newly arrived refugee from Earth, lets hear it for - Bender!",Fry,It's him. He's OK!
Fry,It's him. He's OK!,Bender,Death to humans!
Bender,Death to humans!,Fry,Ahh! It's good to hear his voice!
Fry,Ahh! It's good to hear his voice!,Bender,"Many said I was too extreme when I first called for the annihalation of the human species, as well as some of the more cunning monkeys. But after living on Earth I can tell you that I am, if anything, too merciful!"
Bender,"Many said I was too extreme when I first called for the annihalation of the human species, as well as some of the more cunning monkeys. But after living on Earth I can tell you that I am, if anything, too merciful!","Bender,",just 18.95! Act now and you'll get this Bender action figurine.
"Bender,",just 18.95! Act now and you'll get this Bender action figurine.,Bender,Figurine: Bite my shiny metal ass!
Bender,Figurine: Bite my shiny metal ass!,Robot,Mayor: Let the hunt begin!
Robot,Mayor: Let the hunt begin!,Bender,"Now. Your basic human is between three and twenty five feet tall and is made of a hairy, oily goo wrapped in a t-shirt."
Bender,"Now. Your basic human is between three and twenty five feet tall and is made of a hairy, oily goo wrapped in a t-shirt.",Robot,"#1: Is it true they bite your neck, suck your transmission fluid and then you become a human?"
Robot,"#1: Is it true they bite your neck, suck your transmission fluid and then you become a human?",Bender,"Sure, why not?"
Bender,"Sure, why not?",Robot,#1: Anything in the trap?
Robot,#1: Anything in the trap?,Bender,Nothing. Today's active humans prefer a low calorie bait.
Bender,Nothing. Today's active humans prefer a low calorie bait.,Robot,"Mayor: Well that makes 146,000 unsuccessful hunts in a row. But I've got a good feeling about tomorrow."
Robot,"Mayor: Well that makes 146,000 unsuccessful hunts in a row. But I've got a good feeling about tomorrow.",Bender,"Wait, what's that?"
Bender,"Wait, what's that?",Robot,Mayor: Oh thats the old abandoned adult book store. Nothing in there except a few mouldy old shreads of robot pornography.
Robot,Mayor: Oh thats the old abandoned adult book store. Nothing in there except a few mouldy old shreads of robot pornography.,Bender,"Hmmm, sounds like a breeding ground for humans. I'd better check it out."
Bender,"Hmmm, sounds like a breeding ground for humans. I'd better check it out.",Bender,Oh yeah! You're a bad girl aren't you?
Bender,Oh yeah! You're a bad girl aren't you?,Fry,Psst! Bender!
Fry,Psst! Bender!,Bender,Huh? Wha? You! What the hell are you doing here?
Bender,Huh? Wha? You! What the hell are you doing here?,Fry,We've been looking for you. Last we heard you were under arrest as a human sympathiser.
Fry,We've been looking for you. Last we heard you were under arrest as a human sympathiser.,Bender,I was. But they let me go when I told them that I'd killed a million billion humans.
Bender,I was. But they let me go when I told them that I'd killed a million billion humans.,Leela,Good for you. Now lets all get back to the ship.
Leela,Good for you. Now lets all get back to the ship.,Bender,What for?
Bender,What for?,Fry,We're rescuing you.
Fry,We're rescuing you.,Bender,I don't wanna be rescued.
Bender,I don't wanna be rescued.,Fry,Say what?
Fry,Say what?,Bender,"I love this planet. I've got wealth, fame and access to sleaze that those things bring."
Bender,"I love this planet. I've got wealth, fame and access to sleaze that those things bring.",Fry,"But Bender, we're your friends."
Fry,"But Bender, we're your friends.",Bender,"Friends? That activates my hilairity unit! I'm just a machine to you. You're no more friends with me than you are with the toaster, the phonograph or the electric chair."
Bender,"Friends? That activates my hilairity unit! I'm just a machine to you. You're no more friends with me than you are with the toaster, the phonograph or the electric chair.",Fry,That's not true.
Fry,That's not true.,Bender,Well that's how it feels to me.
Bender,Well that's how it feels to me.,Fry,Bye Bender. I'll miss you.
Fry,Bye Bender. I'll miss you.,Bender,"Go on, get out of here before you get caught."
Bender,"Go on, get out of here before you get caught.",Robot,"Mayor: Bender, good news. Your album just went gold! What the?"
Robot,"Mayor: Bender, good news. Your album just went gold! What the?",Robot,#1: Its the humans!
Robot,#1: Its the humans!,Robot,Mayor: Bender! Do something!
Robot,Mayor: Bender! Do something!,Bender,Uh...got you...you muderous...flesh piles!
Bender,Uh...got you...you muderous...flesh piles!,Robot,"Mayor: Your Honour, I intend to demonstrate beyond 0.5% of a doubt that these humans before us are guilty of the crime of being humans. Come to think of it, I rest my case!"
Robot,"Mayor: Your Honour, I intend to demonstrate beyond 0.5% of a doubt that these humans before us are guilty of the crime of being humans. Come to think of it, I rest my case!",Judge,"Thank you, Prosecutor. I will now consider the evidence."
Judge,"Thank you, Prosecutor. I will now consider the evidence.",Fry,"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't anyone gonna defend us?"
Fry,"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't anyone gonna defend us?",Leela,"Yeah! I mean, he might not have a case, but I'm genuinely not human."
Leela,"Yeah! I mean, he might not have a case, but I'm genuinely not human.",Robot,"Mayor: Quiet, human!"
Robot,"Mayor: Quiet, human!",Robot,clerk: Uh oh! He froze up again!
Robot,clerk: Uh oh! He froze up again!,Robot,Mayor: Try control alt delete.
Robot,Mayor: Try control alt delete.,Robot,#1: Jiggle the cord.
Robot,#1: Jiggle the cord.,Robot,#2: Turn him off and on.
Robot,#2: Turn him off and on.,Robot,#3: Clean the gunk out of the mouse.
Robot,#3: Clean the gunk out of the mouse.,Fry,Call technical support.
Fry,Call technical support.,Robot,"clerk: OK, OK. He's back online."
Robot,"clerk: OK, OK. He's back online.",Judge,I find the defendants - guilty!
Judge,I find the defendants - guilty!,Fry,No!
Fry,No!,Leela,Look! One eye! Count them: One! Not human!
Leela,Look! One eye! Count them: One! Not human!,Judge,"The humans are hereby sentenced to live as robots live on Earth. They will perform tedious calculations and spot-weld automobiles, until they become obsolete and are given away to an inner-city middle school."
Judge,"The humans are hereby sentenced to live as robots live on Earth. They will perform tedious calculations and spot-weld automobiles, until they become obsolete and are given away to an inner-city middle school.",Robot,Mayor: Great work Bender! You've taught us to hate humans all over again!
Robot,Mayor: Great work Bender! You've taught us to hate humans all over again!,Bender,: Heh heh heh! Oooh!
Bender,: Heh heh heh! Oooh!,Leela,Are you alright?
Leela,Are you alright?,Fry,Oh yeah.
Fry,Oh yeah.,Leela,Who are you?
Leela,Who are you?,Blue,Elder: We are the robot elders.
Blue,Elder: We are the robot elders.,Fry,You don't look very old.
Fry,You don't look very old.,Blue,Elder: Thanks. We try to take care of ourselves.
Blue,Elder: Thanks. We try to take care of ourselves.,Leela,What's going on here?
Leela,What's going on here?,Orange,Elder: Silence! Bring in Bender.
Orange,Elder: Silence! Bring in Bender.,Bender,"Alright lets make this quick, I'm due at the opening of a mini-mall. Hey what is this?"
Bender,"Alright lets make this quick, I'm due at the opening of a mini-mall. Hey what is this?",Blue,Elder: Silence! It is time to put the humans to death!
Blue,Elder: Silence! It is time to put the humans to death!,Fry,But the judge already sentenced us at the trial!
Fry,But the judge already sentenced us at the trial!,Orange,"Elder: Silence! That was just a show for the public. We are the true rulers of this planet, hand carved from meteorites by the Robot Founders, over four centuries ago."
Orange,"Elder: Silence! That was just a show for the public. We are the true rulers of this planet, hand carved from meteorites by the Robot Founders, over four centuries ago.",Blue,Elder: Silence! Come forward Bender. You will have the honour of executing the prisoners.
Blue,Elder: Silence! Come forward Bender. You will have the honour of executing the prisoners.,Green,Elder: Silence! I concur!
Green,Elder: Silence! I concur!,Orange,Elder.
Orange,Elder.,Bender,"Uh, I'm a little tired right now. Would it be alright if I just gave them a savage beating?"
Bender,"Uh, I'm a little tired right now. Would it be alright if I just gave them a savage beating?",Blue,Elder: No! The Elders have spoken. Show us the killing skills than have made you a media darling.
Blue,Elder: No! The Elders have spoken. Show us the killing skills than have made you a media darling.,Green,Elder: Do it now! Kill them before they bring down our whole society!
Green,Elder: Do it now! Kill them before they bring down our whole society!,Elders,Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
Elders,Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!,Bender,"I can't kill them. Plenty of humans have mistreated robots but not these two. they're my friends. Humans are no threat to us. They're stupid, putrid cowards."
Bender,"I can't kill them. Plenty of humans have mistreated robots but not these two. they're my friends. Humans are no threat to us. They're stupid, putrid cowards.",Fry,Damn right!
Fry,Damn right!,Bender,"The fact is, humans are completely harmless."
Bender,"The fact is, humans are completely harmless.",Blue,Elder: We're well aware of that.
Blue,Elder: We're well aware of that.,Bender,You are?
Bender,You are?,Blue,Elder: Of course. But they're useful to us as a scapegoat to distract the public from their real problem.
Blue,Elder: Of course. But they're useful to us as a scapegoat to distract the public from their real problem.,Green,Elder: Like our crippling lugnut shortage.
Green,Elder: Like our crippling lugnut shortage.,Orange,Elder: And a corrupt government of incompetent Robot Elders.
Orange,Elder: And a corrupt government of incompetent Robot Elders.,Lime,"Elder: Duh, that's for sure."
Lime,"Elder: Duh, that's for sure.",Blue,Elder: Quiet Jimmy.
Blue,Elder: Quiet Jimmy.,Bender,Well I'm glad we got all that out in the open. We'll just let ourselves out.
Bender,Well I'm glad we got all that out in the open. We'll just let ourselves out.,Green,Elder: Silence! You all know too much.
Green,Elder: Silence! You all know too much.,Blue,"Elder: Elders: Execute function, control, shift, kill!"
Blue,"Elder: Elders: Execute function, control, shift, kill!",Fry,Stop! Take one more step and I'll breathe fire on you!
Fry,Stop! Take one more step and I'll breathe fire on you!,Leela,He'll do it. He's crazy!
Leela,He'll do it. He's crazy!,Orange,Elder: Can they really breathe fire or did we make that up?
Orange,Elder: Can they really breathe fire or did we make that up?,Blue,"Elder: Gee, I can't remember anymore! It might just be from that stupid movie."
Blue,"Elder: Gee, I can't remember anymore! It might just be from that stupid movie.",Green,Elder: Was that the original or the re-make?
Green,Elder: Was that the original or the re-make?,Blue,Elder: I don't - hey! They're getting away.
Blue,Elder: I don't - hey! They're getting away.,Fry,"Uh, hello suckers!"
Fry,"Uh, hello suckers!",Bender,Hey hold on a second I forgot to deliver the package.
Bender,Hey hold on a second I forgot to deliver the package.,Robot,#1: Lugnuts! Precious lugnuts!
Robot,#1: Lugnuts! Precious lugnuts!,Robot,#2: Hooray for the humans!
Robot,#2: Hooray for the humans!,Bender,"Wow, I can't believe you guys did all this for me! This is the best Robanukah ever!"
Bender,"Wow, I can't believe you guys did all this for me! This is the best Robanukah ever!",Fry,We wanted to show you that we really do respect your robot heritage.
Fry,We wanted to show you that we really do respect your robot heritage.,Bender,"Aww, thanks! You do know I made Robanukah up to get out of work right?"
Bender,"Aww, thanks! You do know I made Robanukah up to get out of work right?",Leela,Of course.
Leela,Of course.,Fry,But that doesn't make it any less meaningful!
Fry,But that doesn't make it any less meaningful!,Bender,Hey you guys are good. How the hell do you do that??
Bender,Hey you guys are good. How the hell do you do that??,Fry,"(shouting) Give it a rest, you two!"
Fry,"(shouting) Give it a rest, you two!",Robot,Sorry!
Robot,Sorry!,Teacher,"Good morning, class. I trust you've all prepared for today's final exam."
Teacher,"Good morning, class. I trust you've all prepared for today's final exam.",Fry,"Uh, excuse me? I missed a few lectures. Uh, what subject is this?"
Fry,"Uh, excuse me? I missed a few lectures. Uh, what subject is this?",Teacher,Ancient Egyptian algebra.
Teacher,Ancient Egyptian algebra.,Fry,What a nightmare!
Fry,What a nightmare!,Teacher,"Young man, I think it's time you learned a lesson about Lightspeed brand briefs."
Teacher,"Young man, I think it's time you learned a lesson about Lightspeed brand briefs.",Announcer,"Lightspeed briefs, style and comfort for the discriminating crotch."
Announcer,"Lightspeed briefs, style and comfort for the discriminating crotch.",Fry,What a weird dream! I'll never get back to sleep.
Fry,What a weird dream! I'll never get back to sleep.,Fry,So you're telling me they broadcast commercials into people's dreams?
Fry,So you're telling me they broadcast commercials into people's dreams?,Leela,Of course.
Leela,Of course.,Fry,"But, how is that possible?"
Fry,"But, how is that possible?",Farnsworth,"Although, in reality, it's not liquid, but gamma radiation."
Farnsworth,"Although, in reality, it's not liquid, but gamma radiation.",Fry,That's awful. It's like brainwashing.
Fry,That's awful. It's like brainwashing.,Leela,Didn't you have ads in the 20th century?
Leela,Didn't you have ads in the 20th century?,Fry,"Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and at ball games, on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts and bananas and written on the sky. But not in dreams. No, sir-ee!"
Fry,"Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and at ball games, on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts and bananas and written on the sky. But not in dreams. No, sir-ee!",Bender,"Quit squawking, flesh wad. Nobody's forcing you to buy anything."
Bender,"Quit squawking, flesh wad. Nobody's forcing you to buy anything.",Amy,"Yeah. I mean we all have commercials in our dreams but you don't see us running off to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices."
Amy,"Yeah. I mean we all have commercials in our dreams but you don't see us running off to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices.",Perfume,saleswoman?
Perfume,saleswoman?,Amy,No thanks.
Amy,No thanks.,Perfume,"saleswoman: And you, sir?"
Perfume,"saleswoman: And you, sir?",Bender,No thanks. I--
Bender,No thanks. I--,Cosmetologist,What a lovely face. We just need to draw attention away from the eye area.
Cosmetologist,What a lovely face. We just need to draw attention away from the eye area.,Fry,Can I try these on before I buy them?
Fry,Can I try these on before I buy them?,Salesman,I'm afraid I can't let you open the package. But you can try on the demo pair.
Salesman,I'm afraid I can't let you open the package. But you can try on the demo pair.,Fry,"Ooh! Ho, ho, ho!"
Fry,"Ooh! Ho, ho, ho!",Amy,"Hey, Bender! Great new sweater."
Amy,"Hey, Bender! Great new sweater.",Bender,New? What sweater? I came in with it. I don't know you people!
Bender,New? What sweater? I came in with it. I don't know you people!,Salesman,"$30, please."
Salesman,"$30, please.",Fry,Do you take Visa?
Fry,Do you take Visa?,Salesman,Visa hasn't existed for 500 years.
Salesman,Visa hasn't existed for 500 years.,Fry,American Express?
Fry,American Express?,Salesman,600 years.
Salesman,600 years.,Fry,Discover card?
Fry,Discover card?,Salesman,Sorry we don't take Discover.
Salesman,Sorry we don't take Discover.,Amy,Hey! You're springing for Lightspeed? Pretty ritzy!
Amy,Hey! You're springing for Lightspeed? Pretty ritzy!,Fry,"No, I can't afford them. Being poor sucks. What kind of world is this where they advertise things not everybody can afford?"
Fry,"No, I can't afford them. Being poor sucks. What kind of world is this where they advertise things not everybody can afford?",Amy,Quiet. There's an ad coming on.
Amy,Quiet. There's an ad coming on.,Mom,"Hello, shoppers. It's me, Mom!"
Mom,"Hello, shoppers. It's me, Mom!",Fry,Hey who's the rocker jockey?
Fry,Hey who's the rocker jockey?,Amy,Guh! It's Mom. The world's most huggable industrialist.
Amy,Guh! It's Mom. The world's most huggable industrialist.,Mom,"Call me old-fashioned, but when my robot starts to squeak like an old screen door, well, that's when I reach for a can of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil."
Mom,"Call me old-fashioned, but when my robot starts to squeak like an old screen door, well, that's when I reach for a can of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil.",Bender,"Mmm, tasty!"
Bender,"Mmm, tasty!",Mom,And remember: Mom's oil is made with 10% more love than the next leading brand!
Mom,And remember: Mom's oil is made with 10% more love than the next leading brand!,Announcer,"Mom, love and screen door are registered trademarks of Momcorp."
Announcer,"Mom, love and screen door are registered trademarks of Momcorp.",Fry,"Hey, Bender. Sounds like you could use a little of that oil."
Fry,"Hey, Bender. Sounds like you could use a little of that oil.",Smitty,"Freeze, scuzzbot!"
Smitty,"Freeze, scuzzbot!",Bender,"That is, I'm sure there's ... a very ... reasonable--"
Bender,"That is, I'm sure there's ... a very ... reasonable--",Amy,Do we have enough money to pay Bender's fine?
Amy,Do we have enough money to pay Bender's fine?,Fry,"78, 79, 79.50. Crud! We're 50 cents short."
Fry,"78, 79, 79.50. Crud! We're 50 cents short.",Leela,I'd love to chip in but Bender stole my wallet.
Leela,I'd love to chip in but Bender stole my wallet.,Fry,"Hey, that's my old bank. Maybe my account's still open."
Fry,"Hey, that's my old bank. Maybe my account's still open.",Teller,"Hmm. We don't seem to have your retina scan, your fingerprint or your colonic map on file."
Teller,"Hmm. We don't seem to have your retina scan, your fingerprint or your colonic map on file.",Fry,"Yeah, well, I did open the account over a thousand years ago. What about my ATM card?"
Fry,"Yeah, well, I did open the account over a thousand years ago. What about my ATM card?",Teller,Do you still remember your PIN number?
Teller,Do you still remember your PIN number?,Fry,"Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work, Panucci's Pizza."
Fry,"Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work, Panucci's Pizza.",Teller,"OK, you had a balance of 93 cents..."
Teller,"OK, you had a balance of 93 cents...",Fry,Alright!
Fry,Alright!,Teller,"And at an average of two-and-a-quarter percent interest over a period of 1000 years, that comes to ... $4.3 billion."
Teller,"And at an average of two-and-a-quarter percent interest over a period of 1000 years, that comes to ... $4.3 billion.",Hermes,To Fry.
Hermes,To Fry.,Amy,Cheers!
Amy,Cheers!,Leela,"I know Fry's rich, but do we really have to wear these top hats?"
Leela,"I know Fry's rich, but do we really have to wear these top hats?",Bender,"Maybe you don't understand just how rich he is. In fact, I think I'd better put on a monocle."
Bender,"Maybe you don't understand just how rich he is. In fact, I think I'd better put on a monocle.",Fry,Just keep the tab under $50 million.
Fry,Just keep the tab under $50 million.,Robot,Chef I haven't got all day. What kind of pizza yous guys want?
Robot,Chef I haven't got all day. What kind of pizza yous guys want?,Fry,"Uh, yeah. We'll have one with everything but anchovies and one with my all time favourite topping, anchovies!"
Fry,"Uh, yeah. We'll have one with everything but anchovies and one with my all time favourite topping, anchovies!",Robot,"Chef: Invalid selection. (normal voice) Yo, what are you talking about?"
Robot,"Chef: Invalid selection. (normal voice) Yo, what are you talking about?",Fry,Anchovies? You know? Those little headless fish?
Fry,Anchovies? You know? Those little headless fish?,Robot,Chef: Does not compute. Does not compute.
Robot,Chef: Does not compute. Does not compute.,Farnsworth,"I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200's."
Farnsworth,"I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200's.",Zoidberg,I'm not on trial here.
Zoidberg,I'm not on trial here.,Fry,"So none of you has ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were all salty and oily and they melted in your mouth and--"
Fry,"So none of you has ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were all salty and oily and they melted in your mouth and--",Zoidberg,Stop! Stop! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying One more can't hurt and then they were gone. We're sorry!
Zoidberg,Stop! Stop! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying One more can't hurt and then they were gone. We're sorry!,Fry,I just wish I could've showed you guys how great they were. I may be rich but I still can't buy back all the things I miss from the 20th century.
Fry,I just wish I could've showed you guys how great they were. I may be rich but I still can't buy back all the things I miss from the 20th century.,Bender,Huh? Huh?
Bender,Huh? Huh?,Fry,So? What do you think?
Fry,So? What do you think?,Leela,The floors are made of such hard wood.
Leela,The floors are made of such hard wood.,Bender,Hey! Get a load of this pathetic 20th century TV!
Bender,Hey! Get a load of this pathetic 20th century TV!,Fry,What's wrong with it?
Fry,What's wrong with it?,Bender,"Well, aside from causing eye cancer, these things had a lousy low-definition picture."
Bender,"Well, aside from causing eye cancer, these things had a lousy low-definition picture.",Amy,That's true. On a TV like this I bet you couldn't even make out my obscene tattoo.
Amy,That's true. On a TV like this I bet you couldn't even make out my obscene tattoo.,Leela,That's cute!
Leela,That's cute!,Auctioneer,Sold!
Auctioneer,Sold!,Fry,Yes!
Fry,Yes!,Leela,"I just don't get it. Who was this Ted Danson, and why would you pay $10,000 for his skeleton?"
Leela,"I just don't get it. Who was this Ted Danson, and why would you pay $10,000 for his skeleton?",Fry,I have an idea for a sitcom.
Fry,I have an idea for a sitcom.,Bender,"Ah, leave him alone, Leela. So he's going a little wacko with his money. It's OK."
Bender,"Ah, leave him alone, Leela. So he's going a little wacko with his money. It's OK.",Leela,You're just saying that because he bought you that antique robot toy.
Leela,You're just saying that because he bought you that antique robot toy.,Bender,"Yeah, it is cute."
Bender,"Yeah, it is cute.",Auctioneer,"Now, our final item: This unopened can of Angry Norwegian brand anchovies circa 1997."
Auctioneer,"Now, our final item: This unopened can of Angry Norwegian brand anchovies circa 1997.",Fry,Anchovies?
Fry,Anchovies?,Auctioneer,"The last known can in existence guaranteed fresh and edible. Do I hear $10,000?"
Auctioneer,"The last known can in existence guaranteed fresh and edible. Do I hear $10,000?",Fry,"15,000!"
Fry,"15,000!",Man,20!
Man,20!,Decapodian,"Woman: 30! No, 40!"
Decapodian,"Woman: 30! No, 40!",Fry,"50,000!"
Fry,"50,000!",Leela,Are you crazy? It's a can of old fish.
Leela,Are you crazy? It's a can of old fish.,Fry,Don't tell me how to spend my money.
Fry,Don't tell me how to spend my money.,Auctioneer,"50 going once, twice--"
Auctioneer,"50 going once, twice--",Mom,"75,000."
Mom,"75,000.",Leela,"Oh, my God! It's Mom! I've never seen her in person before."
Leela,"Oh, my God! It's Mom! I've never seen her in person before.",Fry,"100,000."
Fry,"100,000.",Leela,"Fry, you can't bid against Mom; she's the richest, most powerful person in the world. And she's so adorable."
Leela,"Fry, you can't bid against Mom; she's the richest, most powerful person in the world. And she's so adorable.",Mom,"Well, I suppose I could go as high as ... 300,000."
Mom,"Well, I suppose I could go as high as ... 300,000.",Fry,500!
Fry,500!,Mom,"Oh, mercy be. A million."
Mom,"Oh, mercy be. A million.",Fry,Two.
Fry,Two.,Mom,Six.
Mom,Six.,Fry,14!
Fry,14!,Mom,"I can see the nice young man really wants those little fish. Nevertheless, I'll bid 23 million."
Mom,"I can see the nice young man really wants those little fish. Nevertheless, I'll bid 23 million.",Fry,dollars.
Fry,dollars.,Auctioneer,"Sir, that's not a number."
Auctioneer,"Sir, that's not a number.",Fry,"Oh. In that case, 50 million."
Fry,"Oh. In that case, 50 million.",Mom,"You win, young man. I tip my bonnet to you."
Mom,"You win, young man. I tip my bonnet to you.",Bidder,#1: Isn't she adorable?
Bidder,#1: Isn't she adorable?,Bidder,#2: Isn't she sweet?
Bidder,#2: Isn't she sweet?,Auctioneer,What a class act! Sold! To the gentleman who bought every item in today's auction.
Auctioneer,What a class act! Sold! To the gentleman who bought every item in today's auction.,Fry,Now for some good old 20th century TV.
Fry,Now for some good old 20th century TV.,Announcer,Do you remember a time when chocolate chip cookies came fresh from the oven? Petridge Farm remembers.
Announcer,Do you remember a time when chocolate chip cookies came fresh from the oven? Petridge Farm remembers.,Fry,"Ah, those were the days."
Fry,"Ah, those were the days.",Announcer,Do you remember a time when women couldn't vote and certain folk weren't allowed on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers.
Announcer,Do you remember a time when women couldn't vote and certain folk weren't allowed on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers.,Leela,Fry? Are you there?
Leela,Fry? Are you there?,Fry,Eh?
Fry,Eh?,Leela,You haven't been to work in three days. What have you been doing?
Leela,You haven't been to work in three days. What have you been doing?,Leela,You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
Leela,You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.,Fry,I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo.
Fry,I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo.,Leela,"Fry, this isn't healthy. You're living in the past."
Leela,"Fry, this isn't healthy. You're living in the past.",Fry,I'm rich! I can live whenever I want.
Fry,I'm rich! I can live whenever I want.,Leela,But we're your friends and we live here in the year 3000.
Leela,But we're your friends and we live here in the year 3000.,Bender,Yeah! Now are you gonna come to the squid fights with us or sit here wallowing in your prehistoric junk?
Bender,Yeah! Now are you gonna come to the squid fights with us or sit here wallowing in your prehistoric junk?,Fry,"Junk? Maybe you can't understand this, but I've finally found what I need to be happy and it's not friends, it's things."
Fry,"Junk? Maybe you can't understand this, but I've finally found what I need to be happy and it's not friends, it's things.",Bender,a thing.
Bender,a thing.,Fry,Just leave me alone.
Fry,Just leave me alone.,Leela,(from outside) My ponytail's caught in the door.
Leela,(from outside) My ponytail's caught in the door.,Fry,"I don't need them. Not when I have my antique videos, my bucket of fossilised KFC and 50 million dollars worth of anchovies."
Fry,"I don't need them. Not when I have my antique videos, my bucket of fossilised KFC and 50 million dollars worth of anchovies.",Mom,"Mercy me, what a day."
Mom,"Mercy me, what a day.",Mom,Walt! Cream soda!
Mom,Walt! Cream soda!,Walt,"Right away, mother. Larry, get your mother a cream soda."
Walt,"Right away, mother. Larry, get your mother a cream soda.",Larry,"But, Mom said--"
Larry,"But, Mom said--",Walt,You heard me.
Walt,You heard me.,Igner,"What's wrong, Mommy?"
Igner,"What's wrong, Mommy?",Mom,"It's those damned anchovies. That dirtbag, Fry, must know their secret. And I won't rest until I get my hands on them. No one messes with Mom!"
Mom,"It's those damned anchovies. That dirtbag, Fry, must know their secret. And I won't rest until I get my hands on them. No one messes with Mom!",Walt,"Quiet, you!"
Walt,"Quiet, you!",Mom,of oil.
Mom,of oil.,Igner,Can I wear your fat suit?
Igner,Can I wear your fat suit?,Mom,"No, Igner, put that down!"
Mom,"No, Igner, put that down!",Walt,What does this have to do with the anchovies?
Walt,What does this have to do with the anchovies?,Mom,A single drop of the anchovies' natural oil would lubricate 10 robots permanently.
Mom,A single drop of the anchovies' natural oil would lubricate 10 robots permanently.,Larry,"Wow, it's a shame they went extinct."
Larry,"Wow, it's a shame they went extinct.",Mom!,"Cheap effective robot oil. Enough to put dear, old Mom out of businness."
Mom!,"Cheap effective robot oil. Enough to put dear, old Mom out of businness.",Walt,My God! This Mr. Fry must be a mastermind of the highest order.
Walt,My God! This Mr. Fry must be a mastermind of the highest order.,Fred,"Esther, you ugly!"
Fred,"Esther, you ugly!",Mom,"We have only one option: We'll have to bankrupt Mr. Fry, so he'll be forced to sell the anchovies to us."
Mom,"We have only one option: We'll have to bankrupt Mr. Fry, so he'll be forced to sell the anchovies to us.",Walt,"Mother, you are one clever old skag!"
Walt,"Mother, you are one clever old skag!",Mom,And don't you forget it!
Mom,And don't you forget it!,Larry,But how are we supposed to get Fry's money out of the bank?
Larry,But how are we supposed to get Fry's money out of the bank?,Mom,"That part will be easy, thanks to the nice people at Mom's Old Fashioned Video Surveillance Unit."
Mom,"That part will be easy, thanks to the nice people at Mom's Old Fashioned Video Surveillance Unit.",Teller,Do you still remember your PIN number?
Teller,Do you still remember your PIN number?,Fry,It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda--
Fry,It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda--,Mom,You know what needs to be done.
Mom,You know what needs to be done.,Larry,What?
Larry,What?,Mom,(talking) Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts.
Mom,(talking) Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts.,Walt,"Mr. Fry, it's those three plumbers you called for."
Walt,"Mr. Fry, it's those three plumbers you called for.",Larry,We're here to tighten your drain.
Larry,We're here to tighten your drain.,Fry,I didn't order any--
Fry,I didn't order any--,Walt,Quick! Give him the tranquilliser.
Walt,Quick! Give him the tranquilliser.,Larry,That's a good boy.
Larry,That's a good boy.,Walt,"Wake up, Mr. Fry."
Walt,"Wake up, Mr. Fry.",Fry,Where am I?
Fry,Where am I?,Walt,"You're in the good old year 2000, working here at Panucci's Pizza. You fell asleep on the job."
Walt,"You're in the good old year 2000, working here at Panucci's Pizza. You fell asleep on the job.",Fry,That sounds like me but I thought I got frozen. Wasn't I in the future?
Fry,That sounds like me but I thought I got frozen. Wasn't I in the future?,Walt,"No, you only dreamed you were in the year 3000."
Walt,"No, you only dreamed you were in the year 3000.",Fry,"So I'm really back? That's exactly what I wanted, I guess. Who are you?"
Fry,"So I'm really back? That's exactly what I wanted, I guess. Who are you?",Walt,I'm Mr. Panucci.
Walt,I'm Mr. Panucci.,Fry,You are? Did you grow a moustache since last night?
Fry,You are? Did you grow a moustache since last night?,Walt,"I said, I think I hear a customer coming!"
Walt,"I said, I think I hear a customer coming!",Anderson,"Hurry up, please. I wanna get back to the Head Museum."
Anderson,"Hurry up, please. I wanna get back to the Head Museum.",Larry,"Don't worry, Miss Anderson, this won't take long. Now, your motivation is you're back in the year 2000 and your head's still on your body, and you want a cheese pizza."
Larry,"Don't worry, Miss Anderson, this won't take long. Now, your motivation is you're back in the year 2000 and your head's still on your body, and you want a cheese pizza.",Anderson,OK. But I'm only doing this so people will take my head seriously as an actress.
Anderson,OK. But I'm only doing this so people will take my head seriously as an actress.,Fry,"Hey, look! Anchovies!"
Fry,"Hey, look! Anchovies!",Walt,"Of course. They're not extinct yet. And if you need further proof that this is really a thousand years ago, well, here's contemporary actress, Pamela Anderson!"
Walt,"Of course. They're not extinct yet. And if you need further proof that this is really a thousand years ago, well, here's contemporary actress, Pamela Anderson!",Fry,Ooh!
Fry,Ooh!,Fry,Uh...
Fry,Uh...,Anderson,It was the first movie to be shot entirely in slow-motion.
Anderson,It was the first movie to be shot entirely in slow-motion.,Walt,It hasn't been made yet.
Walt,It hasn't been made yet.,Anderson,Then he doesn't know I won the Oscar?
Anderson,Then he doesn't know I won the Oscar?,Walt,Nope.
Walt,Nope.,Anderson,Crap!
Anderson,Crap!,Fry,Wait. You're Pamela Anderson! Cool! What can I get you?
Fry,Wait. You're Pamela Anderson! Cool! What can I get you?,Anderson,"Oh, I'll have a cheese pizza and a large ... uh ... line?"
Anderson,"Oh, I'll have a cheese pizza and a large ... uh ... line?",Larry,Soda!
Larry,Soda!,Anderson,"Oh, right! Cheese pizza and a large soda!"
Anderson,"Oh, right! Cheese pizza and a large soda!",Fry,That was quick!
Fry,That was quick!,Anderson,So. What do I owe you?
Anderson,So. What do I owe you?,Fry,10.77. Same as my PIN number.
Fry,10.77. Same as my PIN number.,Igner,Hey! You don't get to laugh.
Igner,Hey! You don't get to laugh.,Igner,Thanks a billion!
Igner,Thanks a billion!,Larry,More like 4.3 billion!
Larry,More like 4.3 billion!,Igner,Ow!
Igner,Ow!,Larry,Ow!
Larry,Ow!,Fry,"Oh, I had a nightmare I was in the year 2000 and you guys never existed. I'm so glad I'm awake now and you're really here."
Fry,"Oh, I had a nightmare I was in the year 2000 and you guys never existed. I'm so glad I'm awake now and you're really here.",Leela,Since when do you care about us?
Leela,Since when do you care about us?,Bender,We thought you only cared about cans of anchovies and stuffy old songs about the buttocks.
Bender,We thought you only cared about cans of anchovies and stuffy old songs about the buttocks.,Fry,"No, that's not true!"
Fry,"No, that's not true!",Leela,Goodbye-ee!
Leela,Goodbye-ee!,Bender,Whee!
Bender,Whee!,Announcer,This dream brought to you by Lightspeed briefs.
Announcer,This dream brought to you by Lightspeed briefs.,Fry,"Bender! Leela! Don't leave me. Wait a minute! Hey, buddy, what year is this?"
Fry,"Bender! Leela! Don't leave me. Wait a minute! Hey, buddy, what year is this?",Repo-bot,"Uh, 3000."
Repo-bot,"Uh, 3000.",Fry,Wait! What are you doing with my stuff?
Fry,Wait! What are you doing with my stuff?,Repo-bot,"Uh, cheque bounced. We're taking it all back."
Repo-bot,"Uh, cheque bounced. We're taking it all back.",Fry,"Oh, no! My ATM card! My secret PIN number -- 1077. I've got nothing left. Except..."
Fry,"Oh, no! My ATM card! My secret PIN number -- 1077. I've got nothing left. Except...",Leela,You're Fry's relative. Do you have any idea how he got so crazy?
Leela,You're Fry's relative. Do you have any idea how he got so crazy?,Farnsworth,mad! And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters. Atomic supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies that suck blood out of...
Farnsworth,mad! And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters. Atomic supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies that suck blood out of...,Fry,Leela! Bender! I missed you so much!
Fry,Leela! Bender! I missed you so much!,Leela,You did? What happened?
Leela,You did? What happened?,Fry,I was robbed. They got everything except these.
Fry,I was robbed. They got everything except these.,Bender,Who did?
Bender,Who did?,Mom,"Hello, Fry."
Mom,"Hello, Fry.",Leela,It's Mom!
Leela,It's Mom!,Mom,"I felt terrible when I heard about your money troubles and I thought maybe I could help out a sweet, young man by buying his anchovies."
Mom,"I felt terrible when I heard about your money troubles and I thought maybe I could help out a sweet, young man by buying his anchovies.",Fry,Sorry. But the anchovies aren't for sale.
Fry,Sorry. But the anchovies aren't for sale.,Mom,"What? Listen, you little bastard. I control the robot oil business and I won't let you ruin me. How much do you want?"
Mom,"What? Listen, you little bastard. I control the robot oil business and I won't let you ruin me. How much do you want?",Fry,"That's why these anchovies are going on a pizza, so I can share the food I love with the people I like."
Fry,"That's why these anchovies are going on a pizza, so I can share the food I love with the people I like.",Mom,Dumb ass!
Mom,Dumb ass!,Fry,What a nice lady!
Fry,What a nice lady!,Fry,"OK, my friends. Get ready for the most delicious extinct animal you've ever tasted."
Fry,"OK, my friends. Get ready for the most delicious extinct animal you've ever tasted.",Amy,Ew! Gross!
Amy,Ew! Gross!,Fry,"Ah, no one likes them at first but they'll grow on you."
Fry,"Ah, no one likes them at first but they'll grow on you.",Zoidberg,More!
Zoidberg,More!,Fry,There aren't any more. And there never will be.
Fry,There aren't any more. And there never will be.,Bender,Going through the 'bot wash!
Bender,Going through the 'bot wash!,'Bot,"wash, yeah!"
'Bot,"wash, yeah!",Bender,Ah!
Bender,Ah!,Fry,"Hey, what you watching?"
Fry,"Hey, what you watching?",Bender,"Uh, nothing!"
Bender,"Uh, nothing!",Leela,Is that a cooking show?
Leela,Is that a cooking show?,Bender,"No, of course not! It was ... uh ... porno! Yeah, that's it!"
Bender,"No, of course not! It was ... uh ... porno! Yeah, that's it!",Leela,Bender! I didn't know you liked cooking! That's so cute!
Leela,Bender! I didn't know you liked cooking! That's so cute!,Bender,"Oh, it's true! I've been hiding it for so long."
Bender,"Oh, it's true! I've been hiding it for so long.",Fry,"It's OK, Bender. I like cooking too."
Fry,"It's OK, Bender. I like cooking too.",Bender,Pansy!
Bender,Pansy!,Elzar,Now this is why you gotta use cast-iron cookware.
Elzar,Now this is why you gotta use cast-iron cookware.,Hermes,"Bender, man. It has come to my attention that this company has been paying you to do nothing but loaf about on the couch."
Hermes,"Bender, man. It has come to my attention that this company has been paying you to do nothing but loaf about on the couch.",Bender,You call that a couch? I demand a pillow!
Bender,You call that a couch? I demand a pillow!,Hermes,I'm sorry but if you want to continue drawing a salary you gotta do more than watch the cooking shows all day.
Hermes,I'm sorry but if you want to continue drawing a salary you gotta do more than watch the cooking shows all day.,Bender,Hmm.
Bender,Hmm.,Fry,gonna be the ships cook?
Fry,gonna be the ships cook?,Bender,Yeah! We're gonna kick it up a notch. Bam!
Bender,Yeah! We're gonna kick it up a notch. Bam!,Leela,"I know you like cooking shows but you're a robot, you don't even have a sense of taste."
Leela,"I know you like cooking shows but you're a robot, you don't even have a sense of taste.",Bender,"Honey, I wouldn't talk about taste if I was wearing a lime green tank top."
Bender,"Honey, I wouldn't talk about taste if I was wearing a lime green tank top.",Fry,Bam!
Fry,Bam!,Fry,So this is Little Neptune?
Fry,So this is Little Neptune?,Bender,Yep. Every chef knows that this is the place to get exotic gourmet ingredients.
Bender,Yep. Every chef knows that this is the place to get exotic gourmet ingredients.,Leela,Among other things.
Leela,Among other things.,Crack,"Addict: Come on, man! Don't hold out on me like this!"
Crack,"Addict: Come on, man! Don't hold out on me like this!",Organ,Dealer Fresh and cheap. Ready for transplant!
Organ,Dealer Fresh and cheap. Ready for transplant!,Fry,Ooh! What's this?
Fry,Ooh! What's this?,Organ,Dealer!
Organ,Dealer!,Organ,"Dealer: Z is just as good. In fact, is better. Is two more than X."
Organ,"Dealer: Z is just as good. In fact, is better. Is two more than X.",Fry,"Hmm, I can see where that would be an advantage. Do you take cash?"
Fry,"Hmm, I can see where that would be an advantage. Do you take cash?",Leela,"Fry, you have to be more careful. We're not in the 20th century. You don't know how things work here."
Leela,"Fry, you have to be more careful. We're not in the 20th century. You don't know how things work here.",Fry,What up?
Fry,What up?,Alien,Word!
Alien,Word!,Fry,See?
Fry,See?,Fry,Wow! You guys sell every kind of meat here except human!
Fry,Wow! You guys sell every kind of meat here except human!,Neptunian,Salesman #1: What? You want human?
Neptunian,Salesman #1: What? You want human?,Leela,What's this spice for?
Leela,What's this spice for?,Neptunian,Salesman #2: That's powdered swamp root. Makes you irresistible to the opposite sex.
Neptunian,Salesman #2: That's powdered swamp root. Makes you irresistible to the opposite sex.,Leela,"Oh, that's ridiculous! (whispering) I'll take two pounds!"
Leela,"Oh, that's ridiculous! (whispering) I'll take two pounds!",Bender,"Hey, buddy. I'm looking for fresh slug."
Bender,"Hey, buddy. I'm looking for fresh slug.",Neptunian,Salesman #1: Yellow or purple?
Neptunian,Salesman #1: Yellow or purple?,Bender,Whatever.
Bender,Whatever.,Neptunian,Salesman #1: The purple one causes terrible nightmare-ish diarrhoea.
Neptunian,Salesman #1: The purple one causes terrible nightmare-ish diarrhoea.,Bender,"Yeah, yeah. Either one's fine."
Bender,"Yeah, yeah. Either one's fine.",Leela,"Hey, have you seen Fry?"
Leela,"Hey, have you seen Fry?",Fry,"Now that you mention it, I do have trouble breathing underwater sometimes. I'll take the gills."
Fry,"Now that you mention it, I do have trouble breathing underwater sometimes. I'll take the gills.",Organ,"Dealer: Yes, gills. Then, uh, you don't need lungs anymore, is right?"
Organ,"Dealer: Yes, gills. Then, uh, you don't need lungs anymore, is right?",Fry,Can't imagine why I would.
Fry,Can't imagine why I would.,Organ,Dealer (shouting) Nurse!
Organ,Dealer (shouting) Nurse!,Nurse,Let's do it.
Nurse,Let's do it.,Organ,Dealer: You may feel small pain--
Organ,Dealer: You may feel small pain--,Bender,Thank you!
Bender,Thank you!,Leela,What the hell were you doing? I warned you to stay away from those guys.
Leela,What the hell were you doing? I warned you to stay away from those guys.,Fry,"I'm capable of making my own decisions, Leela. Did you ever stop to think I might be happier with gills?"
Fry,"I'm capable of making my own decisions, Leela. Did you ever stop to think I might be happier with gills?",Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone--"
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone--",Bender,"Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that."
Bender,"Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that.",Bender,Here it comes.
Bender,Here it comes.,Bender,"Thank you, and goodnight."
Bender,"Thank you, and goodnight.",Leela,in the Forbidden Zone?
Leela,in the Forbidden Zone?,Leela,"Uh, Professor--"
Leela,"Uh, Professor--",Farnsworth,Off you go. Pleasant trip!
Farnsworth,Off you go. Pleasant trip!,Fry,"Hey, Bender, how's dinner coming?"
Fry,"Hey, Bender, how's dinner coming?",Bender,Almost ready!
Bender,Almost ready!,Bender,Uh-oh!
Bender,Uh-oh!,Leela,"Listen, this is Bender's first meal and he's a little sensitive. So let's be supportive, OK?"
Leela,"Listen, this is Bender's first meal and he's a little sensitive. So let's be supportive, OK?",Fry,"Yeah, OK."
Fry,"Yeah, OK.",Zoidberg,Alright.
Zoidberg,Alright.,Leela,"Oh, dear God!"
Leela,"Oh, dear God!",Fry,"That's the saltiest thing I've ever tasted. And I've once ate a big, heaping bowl of salt!"
Fry,"That's the saltiest thing I've ever tasted. And I've once ate a big, heaping bowl of salt!",Amy,water?
Amy,water?,Bender,It's salt with water in it if that's what you mean.
Bender,It's salt with water in it if that's what you mean.,Fry,My vision's fading. I think I'm gonna die.
Fry,My vision's fading. I think I'm gonna die.,Bender,There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose.
Bender,There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose.,Zoidberg,Uh-oh! I shouldn't have had seconds.
Zoidberg,Uh-oh! I shouldn't have had seconds.,Leela,"OK, Fry, here's the package to deliver. And for once in your life be careful. This is my first visit to the Galaxy of Terror and I'd like it to be a pleasant one."
Leela,"OK, Fry, here's the package to deliver. And for once in your life be careful. This is my first visit to the Galaxy of Terror and I'd like it to be a pleasant one.",Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Leela,"Don't touch anything or talk to anyone. Just go to the palace, drop it off and come right back."
Leela,"Don't touch anything or talk to anyone. Just go to the palace, drop it off and come right back.",Fry,"Jeez, will you lay off! I was delivering things before you were born! I think I know what I'm doing."
Fry,"Jeez, will you lay off! I was delivering things before you were born! I think I know what I'm doing.",Fry,Ah!
Fry,Ah!,Fry,Hello? Anybody home?
Fry,Hello? Anybody home?,Guard,#1: The royal bottle is empty!
Guard,#1: The royal bottle is empty!,Guard,#2: You drank our Emperor!
Guard,#2: You drank our Emperor!,Fry,No! It wasn't me!
Fry,No! It wasn't me!,Guard,#1: You drank our Emperor! You assassinated him!
Guard,#1: You drank our Emperor! You assassinated him!,Fry,I didn't mean to. He just looked so cool and refreshing.
Fry,I didn't mean to. He just looked so cool and refreshing.,Guard,#3: I'm sure he was.
Guard,#3: I'm sure he was.,Guard,#1: But now he's gone and your fate is sealed. All hail the new Emperor.
Guard,#1: But now he's gone and your fate is sealed. All hail the new Emperor.,Guards,Hail! Hail! Hail!
Guards,Hail! Hail! Hail!,Leela,"So after I specifically asked you not to touch anything, you drank a bottle of strange blue liquid? It could have been poisonous acid!"
Leela,"So after I specifically asked you not to touch anything, you drank a bottle of strange blue liquid? It could have been poisonous acid!",Fry,It could have been. But chances were equally good it was an Emperor.
Fry,It could have been. But chances were equally good it was an Emperor.,Merg,"Excuse me, Your Majesty, I am Merg, the High Priest. If I might interject?"
Merg,"Excuse me, Your Majesty, I am Merg, the High Priest. If I might interject?",Fry,You might.
Fry,You might.,Merg,"I humbly advise that as your first act you choose a capable Prime Minister. I suggest Gorgak, the previous appointee."
Merg,"I humbly advise that as your first act you choose a capable Prime Minister. I suggest Gorgak, the previous appointee.",Gorgak,I will be a forceful and effective administrator.
Gorgak,I will be a forceful and effective administrator.,Bender,"You know, Fry, I've often thought about becoming a Prime Minister."
Bender,"You know, Fry, I've often thought about becoming a Prime Minister.",Fry,I gotta go with Bender.
Fry,I gotta go with Bender.,Bender,"Yes! In your face, Gorgak!"
Bender,"Yes! In your face, Gorgak!",Leela,"That's it, Fry. As your captain I order you back to the ship. You are in way over your head."
Leela,"That's it, Fry. As your captain I order you back to the ship. You are in way over your head.",Fry,"Gee, you think so, Captain? I'd better check with my Prime Minister."
Fry,"Gee, you think so, Captain? I'd better check with my Prime Minister.",Bender,"Stay the course, pal!"
Bender,"Stay the course, pal!",Gorgak,"Your Highness, a package came for you."
Gorgak,"Your Highness, a package came for you.",Fry,Wow! This got here just in time.
Fry,Wow! This got here just in time.,Merg,This is Your Majesty's harem. You may choose any of these maidens to be your royal consort.
Merg,This is Your Majesty's harem. You may choose any of these maidens to be your royal consort.,Fry,"Um, how about that one?"
Fry,"Um, how about that one?",Merg,Oh! I didn't realise Your Majesty was into that sort of thing!
Merg,Oh! I didn't realise Your Majesty was into that sort of thing!,Fry,"On second thought, I'll take that one."
Fry,"On second thought, I'll take that one.",Merg,"Hey, whatever you say. I'm not here to pass judgement."
Merg,"Hey, whatever you say. I'm not here to pass judgement.",Leela,"Does anyone else think it's odd that a shiftless 25-year-old delivery boy could drop out of the sky, kill the emperor and be rewarded instead of punished?"
Leela,"Does anyone else think it's odd that a shiftless 25-year-old delivery boy could drop out of the sky, kill the emperor and be rewarded instead of punished?",Fry,"You don't have to beat around the bush, Leela. We all know who you're talking about ... uh, me, right?"
Fry,"You don't have to beat around the bush, Leela. We all know who you're talking about ... uh, me, right?",Amy,I don't think you have anything to worry about. These people seem really mild-mannered.
Amy,I don't think you have anything to worry about. These people seem really mild-mannered.,Zoidberg,"They are mild. In fact, you're soaking in one right now."
Zoidberg,"They are mild. In fact, you're soaking in one right now.",Gorgak,You touched me in ways I've never been touched before.
Gorgak,You touched me in ways I've never been touched before.,Merg,"Ah, there you are, Your Majesty. It's time to begin preparing for tomorrow's coronation ceremony."
Merg,"Ah, there you are, Your Majesty. It's time to begin preparing for tomorrow's coronation ceremony.",Zoidberg,A fancy dress gala! I'll wear my formal shell.
Zoidberg,A fancy dress gala! I'll wear my formal shell.,Merg,Fry will be enthroned tomorrow at the setting of the three suns when we Trisolians enter our nocturnal phase.
Merg,Fry will be enthroned tomorrow at the setting of the three suns when we Trisolians enter our nocturnal phase.,Fry,"There won't be a lot of long-winded speeches, will there?"
Fry,"There won't be a lot of long-winded speeches, will there?",Fry,Will there be cake?
Fry,Will there be cake?,Zoidberg,"Yeah, I know."
Zoidberg,"Yeah, I know.",Amy,Hi!
Amy,Hi!,Fry,There you go.
Fry,There you go.,Gorgak,"And now, get ready to laugh till your sides leak with our planet's foremost political satirist, Florp!"
Gorgak,"And now, get ready to laugh till your sides leak with our planet's foremost political satirist, Florp!",Florp,Right? Am I right?
Florp,Right? Am I right?,Fry,"Oh, yeah! Yeah, he's right!"
Fry,"Oh, yeah! Yeah, he's right!",Leela,"Fry, I have to talk to you. You're in terrible danger."
Leela,"Fry, I have to talk to you. You're in terrible danger.",Leela,"He met his end when he was drunk by Emperor Strug. And before he could even wipe his mouth, Strug was drunk by Shwab."
Leela,"He met his end when he was drunk by Emperor Strug. And before he could even wipe his mouth, Strug was drunk by Shwab.",Fry,So?
Fry,So?,Leela,Look at all these guys. Do you have any idea what the average length of their reigns was?
Leela,Look at all these guys. Do you have any idea what the average length of their reigns was?,Fry,"80,000 years?"
Fry,"80,000 years?",Leela,No. One week.
Leela,No. One week.,Fry,Damn! I knew you wouldn't have asked unless it was really high or really low.
Fry,Damn! I knew you wouldn't have asked unless it was really high or really low.,Leela,Every Emperor ascended to power by assassinating the previous one. And guess who's next?
Leela,Every Emperor ascended to power by assassinating the previous one. And guess who's next?,Fry,"Well, at least my assassin will get what's coming to him."
Fry,"Well, at least my assassin will get what's coming to him.",Leela,"You're in tremendous danger, you idiot! Half of these Emperors were drunk at their own coronation."
Leela,"You're in tremendous danger, you idiot! Half of these Emperors were drunk at their own coronation.",Fry,"Hey, I plan on having a few brewskis myself."
Fry,"Hey, I plan on having a few brewskis myself.",Leela,"No, they were assassinated. In fact, the law says you'll be killed on the spot if you fail to recite the oath from memory."
Leela,"No, they were assassinated. In fact, the law says you'll be killed on the spot if you fail to recite the oath from memory.",Fry,"Yeah, I was going to thumb through that later."
Fry,"Yeah, I was going to thumb through that later.",Leela,That is completely reckless. Don't you ever think ahead?
Leela,That is completely reckless. Don't you ever think ahead?,Fry,"Hell, no. If I stopped to think ahead, I wouldn't be Emperor. And I wouldn't even be here in the year 3000. It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came and the grasshopper died and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?"
Fry,"Hell, no. If I stopped to think ahead, I wouldn't be Emperor. And I wouldn't even be here in the year 3000. It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came and the grasshopper died and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?",Leela,I give up! You're gonna get yourself killed and this time I won't be here to save you.
Leela,I give up! You're gonna get yourself killed and this time I won't be here to save you.,Fry,"Who asked you to? I told you a hundred times to stop treating me like a baby. Now go. Go gather your nuts, you nagging grasshopper."
Fry,"Who asked you to? I told you a hundred times to stop treating me like a baby. Now go. Go gather your nuts, you nagging grasshopper.",Leela,"needs me, I'll be in the ship."
Leela,"needs me, I'll be in the ship.",Fry,Quit it!
Fry,Quit it!,Merg,"People of Trisol, it is my honour to present your new Emperor."
Merg,"People of Trisol, it is my honour to present your new Emperor.",Fry,What up?
Fry,What up?,Merg,Stick to the oath.
Merg,Stick to the oath.,Fry,"Right! I, Fry, who drank Bont the Viscous, who drank Ungo the Moist, who guzzled Zorn the Stagnant..."
Fry,"Right! I, Fry, who drank Bont the Viscous, who drank Ungo the Moist, who guzzled Zorn the Stagnant...",Fry,"(reading) Who slurped Hudge the Dewy, who enjoyed a soup composed principally of Throm the Chunky, do solemnly swear to rule with honour and insanity-- Uh, integrity!"
Fry,"(reading) Who slurped Hudge the Dewy, who enjoyed a soup composed principally of Throm the Chunky, do solemnly swear to rule with honour and insanity-- Uh, integrity!",Merg,I now present you with your royal unisex robe. Long live Fry the Solid!
Merg,I now present you with your royal unisex robe. Long live Fry the Solid!,Bender,"Hey, look. The suns are setting. I can finally switch to hard liquor!"
Bender,"Hey, look. The suns are setting. I can finally switch to hard liquor!",Bender,"Check out the glowing freaks. It's beautiful! Hey, what's that?"
Bender,"Check out the glowing freaks. It's beautiful! Hey, what's that?",Merg,The Emperor Bont! He's still alive.
Merg,The Emperor Bont! He's still alive.,Bont,Of course I'm alive. Now cut this creep open and drain me out!
Bont,Of course I'm alive. Now cut this creep open and drain me out!,Fry,My tummy hurts!
Fry,My tummy hurts!,Bont,"They're over here, they're running up the stairs."
Bont,"They're over here, they're running up the stairs.",Bender,"Shut up, you!"
Bender,"Shut up, you!",Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Merg,Let us in!
Merg,Let us in!,Merg,Fry must die so that Bont may live.
Merg,Fry must die so that Bont may live.,Fry,What am I gonna do?
Fry,What am I gonna do?,Amy,We've gotta get the Emperor out of your body before they kill you!
Amy,We've gotta get the Emperor out of your body before they kill you!,Zoidberg,"Relax, Fry. I'll simply spin you in a high-speed centrifuge, separating out the denser fluid of His Highness."
Zoidberg,"Relax, Fry. I'll simply spin you in a high-speed centrifuge, separating out the denser fluid of His Highness.",Fry,But won't that crush my bones?
Fry,But won't that crush my bones?,Zoidberg,"Oh, right, right, with the bones! I always forget about the bones."
Zoidberg,"Oh, right, right, with the bones! I always forget about the bones.",Bender,"Hey, why don't you just sweat him out?"
Bender,"Hey, why don't you just sweat him out?",Bont,Forget it! As Emperor I refuse to be dripped out through somebody's armpit.
Bont,Forget it! As Emperor I refuse to be dripped out through somebody's armpit.,Fry,I could vomit or urinate. Would you feel better about that?
Fry,I could vomit or urinate. Would you feel better about that?,Bont,Slightly. But my favourite so far is the bone-crushing.
Bont,Slightly. But my favourite so far is the bone-crushing.,Amy,What about crying?
Amy,What about crying?,Fry,That's a great idea! Crying.
Fry,That's a great idea! Crying.,Bont,Fine. That or the bone one.
Bont,Fine. That or the bone one.,Merg,"Keep it up, men. The veneer is starting to peel."
Merg,"Keep it up, men. The veneer is starting to peel.",Gorgak,"Oh, dear!"
Gorgak,"Oh, dear!",Fry,It's no use. I wanna cry but I'm just too macho.
Fry,It's no use. I wanna cry but I'm just too macho.,Bender,You're a pimple on society's ass and you'll never amount to anything.
Bender,You're a pimple on society's ass and you'll never amount to anything.,Fry,What do you mean? I was Emperor of a whole planet.
Fry,What do you mean? I was Emperor of a whole planet.,Fry,These things happen.
Fry,These things happen.,Bender,"OK, Fry, grab a Kleenex for this one, 'cause there's no God and your idiotic human ideals are laughable!"
Bender,"OK, Fry, grab a Kleenex for this one, 'cause there's no God and your idiotic human ideals are laughable!",Fry,Phew! That's a load off my mind.
Fry,Phew! That's a load off my mind.,Bender,"Man, I guess it's harder than I thought to make someone cry."
Bender,"Man, I guess it's harder than I thought to make someone cry.",Amy,"You did your best, Bender."
Amy,"You did your best, Bender.",Bender,"Up yours, bimbo!"
Bender,"Up yours, bimbo!",Zoidberg,"Let's face it, we're in hot butter here. We should call Leela for help."
Zoidberg,"Let's face it, we're in hot butter here. We should call Leela for help.",Bender,That is a good idea. I'll go call her.
Bender,That is a good idea. I'll go call her.,Fry,She'll never help me. She's still mad that I told her never to help me.
Fry,She'll never help me. She's still mad that I told her never to help me.,Amy,C'mon. Leela's not the type to hold a grudge.
Amy,C'mon. Leela's not the type to hold a grudge.,Operator,Collect call from...
Operator,Collect call from...,Bender,I'm not giving my name to a machine.
Bender,I'm not giving my name to a machine.,Leela,I'll accept.
Leela,I'll accept.,Bender,Fry's in trouble...
Bender,Fry's in trouble...,Bender,"And he needs help. Now, I don't like you and you don't like me."
Bender,"And he needs help. Now, I don't like you and you don't like me.",Leela,I like you.
Leela,I like you.,Bender,"You do? Look, are you going to help or not?"
Bender,"You do? Look, are you going to help or not?",Leela,I don't know why I should. I mean after what he--
Leela,I don't know why I should. I mean after what he--,Bender,What is it you like best about me?
Bender,What is it you like best about me?,Amy,Is she coming?
Amy,Is she coming?,Bender,I'm not sure. But I do know that she likes my in-your-face attitude.
Bender,I'm not sure. But I do know that she likes my in-your-face attitude.,Fry,What the hell is that?
Fry,What the hell is that?,Bont,"Its the Juice-A-Matic 4000. It'll strain my juices from you while filtering out the pulp. By which I mean, your shredded remains."
Bont,"Its the Juice-A-Matic 4000. It'll strain my juices from you while filtering out the pulp. By which I mean, your shredded remains.",Zoidberg,Of course! Why didn't I think of that!
Zoidberg,Of course! Why didn't I think of that!,Fry,This is the saddest day of my life. And I still can't cry.
Fry,This is the saddest day of my life. And I still can't cry.,Bender,Wait a second. Here comes Leela.
Bender,Wait a second. Here comes Leela.,Amy,"Oh, no! They have her totally outnumbered."
Amy,"Oh, no! They have her totally outnumbered.",Fry,I can't believe it. She's risking her life for me after the way I treated her. I don't deserve this. I feel terrible.
Fry,I can't believe it. She's risking her life for me after the way I treated her. I don't deserve this. I feel terrible.,Bender,You do? Hmm.
Bender,You do? Hmm.,Fry,Is she alright?
Fry,Is she alright?,Bender,"I don't know. Perhaps I'll look out this window. Oh, dear God in heaven, they're swarming all over her."
Bender,"I don't know. Perhaps I'll look out this window. Oh, dear God in heaven, they're swarming all over her.",Amy,(muffled) Oh!
Amy,(muffled) Oh!,Bender,"They're strapping her to juicer. Oh, they're putting some ice cubes in the glass under it."
Bender,"They're strapping her to juicer. Oh, they're putting some ice cubes in the glass under it.",Fry,This can't be happening.
Fry,This can't be happening.,Bender,"I'm sorry, Fry. She's dead."
Bender,"I'm sorry, Fry. She's dead.",Fry,I wish I had died instead of her.
Fry,I wish I had died instead of her.,Leela,What are you talking about?
Leela,What are you talking about?,Fry,Leela! You're alive!
Fry,Leela! You're alive!,Leela,Of course I'm alive.
Leela,Of course I'm alive.,Bender,I told Fry you were dead so he would cry out the Emperor but you had to go and wreck it by surviving.
Bender,I told Fry you were dead so he would cry out the Emperor but you had to go and wreck it by surviving.,Amy,We only got two drops.
Amy,We only got two drops.,Bont,It's only a matter of time now.
Bont,It's only a matter of time now.,Zoidberg,I'll handle this!
Zoidberg,I'll handle this!,Leela,"Listen, Fry, I think I can get us out of this if you're willing to let me help you."
Leela,"Listen, Fry, I think I can get us out of this if you're willing to let me help you.",Fry,That hurt!
Fry,That hurt!,Leela,"I know. Amy, get the bottle."
Leela,"I know. Amy, get the bottle.",Fry,"Oh, now I understand."
Fry,"Oh, now I understand.",Leela,Come on. Everybody help out Fry.
Leela,Come on. Everybody help out Fry.,Fry,"Thanks, everybody. I love you all. You guys are true-- Ow! Cut it out, Bender! That's a tender area!"
Fry,"Thanks, everybody. I love you all. You guys are true-- Ow! Cut it out, Bender! That's a tender area!",Leela,"How we doing, Amy?"
Leela,"How we doing, Amy?",Amy,Great! We're one-tenth of the way there.
Amy,Great! We're one-tenth of the way there.,Amy,"OK, it's your turn."
Amy,"OK, it's your turn.",Fry,"Hey, wait a minute! Who are you?"
Fry,"Hey, wait a minute! Who are you?",Bont,I'm the Emperor! Thanks for crying me out.
Bont,I'm the Emperor! Thanks for crying me out.,Fry,"Oh, you're welcome."
Fry,"Oh, you're welcome.",Bender,Hey! Save some for me!
Bender,Hey! Save some for me!,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone. Tomorrow you'll be making a delivery to Ebola 9, the virus planet."
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone. Tomorrow you'll be making a delivery to Ebola 9, the virus planet.",Hermes,Why can't they go today?
Hermes,Why can't they go today?,Farnsworth,Because tonight's a special night and I want all of you to be alive. It's the Academy of Inventors' annual symposium.
Farnsworth,Because tonight's a special night and I want all of you to be alive. It's the Academy of Inventors' annual symposium.,Fry,Wow! I love symposia.
Fry,Wow! I love symposia.,Farnsworth,It's the event of the scientific season. Every member presents an invention and the best one wins the Academy prize.
Farnsworth,It's the event of the scientific season. Every member presents an invention and the best one wins the Academy prize.,Bender,Sounds boring.
Bender,Sounds boring.,Farnsworth,Simply jam your finger in the hole and this read-out tells you exactly how long you have left to live.
Farnsworth,Simply jam your finger in the hole and this read-out tells you exactly how long you have left to live.,Leela,Does it really work?
Leela,Does it really work?,Farnsworth,Well it's occasionally off by a few seconds. What with free will and all.
Farnsworth,Well it's occasionally off by a few seconds. What with free will and all.,Fry,Sounds like fun. How long do I have left to live?
Fry,Sounds like fun. How long do I have left to live?,Bender,Ooh! Dibs on his CD player!
Bender,Ooh! Dibs on his CD player!,Farnsworth,"Oh, my, yes."
Farnsworth,"Oh, my, yes.",Fry,Who's the gross nerd?
Fry,Who's the gross nerd?,Farnsworth,"That's me at the very first symposium. I'm the Academy's oldest living member, you know. These youngsters all look up to me."
Farnsworth,"That's me at the very first symposium. I'm the Academy's oldest living member, you know. These youngsters all look up to me.",Wernstrom,"Well, well, well. Look who decided to show his wrinkled face."
Wernstrom,"Well, well, well. Look who decided to show his wrinkled face.",Farnsworth,"Why don't you just leave me alone, Wernstrom?"
Farnsworth,"Why don't you just leave me alone, Wernstrom?",Wernstrom,"Face it, Farnsworth, you're over the hill. It's time to leave science to the 120-year-olds."
Wernstrom,"Face it, Farnsworth, you're over the hill. It's time to leave science to the 120-year-olds.",Farnsworth,You young turks think you know everything. I was inventing things when you were barely turning senile.
Farnsworth,You young turks think you know everything. I was inventing things when you were barely turning senile.,Wernstrom,"Go home before you embarrass yourself, old man. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a nap before the ceremonies."
Wernstrom,"Go home before you embarrass yourself, old man. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a nap before the ceremonies.",Fry,Who's that jerk?
Fry,Who's that jerk?,Farnsworth,"A hundred years ago he was my most promising student at Mars University. But then, after one fateful pop-quiz..."
Farnsworth,"A hundred years ago he was my most promising student at Mars University. But then, after one fateful pop-quiz...",Wernstrom,A-minus? No one gives Ogden Wernstrom an A-minus!
Wernstrom,A-minus? No one gives Ogden Wernstrom an A-minus!,Farnsworth,"I'm sorry, but penmanship counts."
Farnsworth,"I'm sorry, but penmanship counts.",Wernstrom,I swear I'll have my revenge even if it takes me a hundred years.
Wernstrom,I swear I'll have my revenge even if it takes me a hundred years.,Farnsworth,And here it is: Slightly over 99 years later and still no revenge. I'm essentially in the clear.
Farnsworth,And here it is: Slightly over 99 years later and still no revenge. I'm essentially in the clear.,Bender,"I've been perusing your fortified wine list and I've selected the '71 Hobo's Delight, the '57 Chateau Parté and the '66 Thunder Chevitz."
Bender,"I've been perusing your fortified wine list and I've selected the '71 Hobo's Delight, the '57 Chateau Parté and the '66 Thunder Chevitz.",Waiter,"Exquisite choices, sir."
Waiter,"Exquisite choices, sir.",Bender,And mix them all together in a big jug.
Bender,And mix them all together in a big jug.,Popeil,"But wait, there's more. We've got a whole line-up of inventors tonight, starting with that up and coming young star, Ogden Wernstrom."
Popeil,"But wait, there's more. We've got a whole line-up of inventors tonight, starting with that up and coming young star, Ogden Wernstrom.",Bender,More wine!
Bender,More wine!,Wernstrom,Bad fish!
Wernstrom,Bad fish!,Fry,"Don't worry, Professor, it's no competition for your death clock."
Fry,"Don't worry, Professor, it's no competition for your death clock.",Farnsworth,Let's just say it'll put you young whippersnappers in your place!
Farnsworth,Let's just say it'll put you young whippersnappers in your place!,Wernstrom,I just hope it's not as lame as that death clock you presented last year.
Wernstrom,I just hope it's not as lame as that death clock you presented last year.,Farnsworth,"Uh, last year, you say?"
Farnsworth,"Uh, last year, you say?",Wernstrom,That's right.
Wernstrom,That's right.,Farnsworth,"Oh, my! Did it put you young whippersnappers in your place?"
Farnsworth,"Oh, my! Did it put you young whippersnappers in your place?",Wernstrom,"Hardly! We laughed until our teeth fell out. Come along, Cinnamon."
Wernstrom,"Hardly! We laughed until our teeth fell out. Come along, Cinnamon.",Farnsworth,"Oh, dear. I'll have to invent something new in the next ten minutes. Perhaps some sort of death clock."
Farnsworth,"Oh, dear. I'll have to invent something new in the next ten minutes. Perhaps some sort of death clock.",Leela,"Uh, Professor...?"
Leela,"Uh, Professor...?",Popeil,"Our last presentation comes from our oldest member, Professor Hubert Farnsworth. Professor?"
Popeil,"Our last presentation comes from our oldest member, Professor Hubert Farnsworth. Professor?",Farnsworth,"Just a second, just a second."
Farnsworth,"Just a second, just a second.",Wernstrom,"Pencils down, prune-face."
Wernstrom,"Pencils down, prune-face.",Farnsworth,distant objects? Well now we can! Thanks to my new invention ... the Smellescope.
Farnsworth,distant objects? Well now we can! Thanks to my new invention ... the Smellescope.,Man,"Oh, I say!"
Man,"Oh, I say!",Farnsworth,"Oh, my!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, my!",Popeil,"And now for the presentation of the award. Listen, folks, I'm practically giving this prize away to Dr. Wernstrom, for his fish thingy."
Popeil,"And now for the presentation of the award. Listen, folks, I'm practically giving this prize away to Dr. Wernstrom, for his fish thingy.",Farnsworth,Perhaps 149 is just too old to be a scientist.
Farnsworth,Perhaps 149 is just too old to be a scientist.,Bender,Yep!
Bender,Yep!,Fry,"No, Professor, don't give up. There were plenty of times in my century when I was gonna give up but I never did. Never! Hey, are you even listening to me? Oh, I give up!"
Fry,"No, Professor, don't give up. There were plenty of times in my century when I was gonna give up but I never did. Never! Hey, are you even listening to me? Oh, I give up!",Farnsworth,"By God, you're right! I'm going to build that Smellescope!"
Farnsworth,"By God, you're right! I'm going to build that Smellescope!",Farnsworth,Eureka!
Farnsworth,Eureka!,Fry,Did you build the Smellescope?
Fry,Did you build the Smellescope?,Farnsworth,"No, I remembered that I'd built one last year. Go ahead, try it. You'll find that every heavenly body has its own particular scent. Here, I'll point it at Jupiter."
Farnsworth,"No, I remembered that I'd built one last year. Go ahead, try it. You'll find that every heavenly body has its own particular scent. Here, I'll point it at Jupiter.",Fry,Smells like strawberries.
Fry,Smells like strawberries.,Farnsworth,Exactly! And now Saturn.
Farnsworth,Exactly! And now Saturn.,Fry,"Pine needles. Oh, man, this is great! Hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus."
Fry,"Pine needles. Oh, man, this is great! Hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus.",Leela,I don't get it.
Leela,I don't get it.,Farnsworth,"I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all."
Farnsworth,"I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.",Fry,Oh. What's it called now?
Fry,Oh. What's it called now?,Farnsworth,"Urectum. Here, let me locate it for you."
Farnsworth,"Urectum. Here, let me locate it for you.",Fry,Hmm.
Fry,Hmm.,Farnsworth,"Oh, jeez! Oh, man! Remarkable! A stench so foul it's right off the Funk-o-Meter. I dare say Fry may have discovered the smelliest object in the known universe."
Farnsworth,"Oh, jeez! Oh, man! Remarkable! A stench so foul it's right off the Funk-o-Meter. I dare say Fry may have discovered the smelliest object in the known universe.",Bender,Ooh! Ooh! Name it after me!
Bender,Ooh! Ooh! Name it after me!,Leela,I think it's moving.
Leela,I think it's moving.,Farnsworth,"My God! Whatever it is, it's headed straight for us. With enough force to reduce this entire city to a stinky crater. We have less than 72 hours."
Farnsworth,"My God! Whatever it is, it's headed straight for us. With enough force to reduce this entire city to a stinky crater. We have less than 72 hours.",Bender,"Well, let's get looting!"
Bender,"Well, let's get looting!",Fry,What the heck is it?
Fry,What the heck is it?,Farnsworth,Ah! Just as I thought. The answer lies in this movie I found on the Internet.
Farnsworth,Ah! Just as I thought. The answer lies in this movie I found on the Internet.,Narrator,"The repulsive barge circled the oceans for 50 years but no country would accept it, not even that really filthy one. You know the one I mean. Finally, in 2052, the city used its mob connections to obtain a rocket and launch the garbage into outer space. Some experts claim the ball might return to Earth someday, but their concerns were dismissed as depressing."
Narrator,"The repulsive barge circled the oceans for 50 years but no country would accept it, not even that really filthy one. You know the one I mean. Finally, in 2052, the city used its mob connections to obtain a rocket and launch the garbage into outer space. Some experts claim the ball might return to Earth someday, but their concerns were dismissed as depressing.",Fry,Wow! You got that off the Internet?  In my day the Internet was only used to download pornography.
Fry,Wow! You got that off the Internet?  In my day the Internet was only used to download pornography.,Farnsworth,Actually that's still true.
Farnsworth,Actually that's still true.,Female,"Scientist: Now that the garbage is in space, doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions."
Female,"Scientist: Now that the garbage is in space, doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions.",Male,Scientist: With gusto!
Male,Scientist: With gusto!,Farnsworth,New York is going to be destroyed by a giant ball of garbage.
Farnsworth,New York is going to be destroyed by a giant ball of garbage.,Leela,"Fry, what the hell were you people thinking back then? How could you just throw your garbage away?"
Leela,"Fry, what the hell were you people thinking back then? How could you just throw your garbage away?",Fry,"Hey, gimmie a break! What do you do with it?"
Fry,"Hey, gimmie a break! What do you do with it?",Leela,We recycle everything. Robots are made from old beer cans.
Leela,We recycle everything. Robots are made from old beer cans.,Bender,Yeah! And this beer can is made outta old robots.
Bender,Yeah! And this beer can is made outta old robots.,Leela,Nothing just gets thrown away.
Leela,Nothing just gets thrown away.,Fry,The future is disgusting.
Fry,The future is disgusting.,Leela,Typical 20th century attitude.
Leela,Typical 20th century attitude.,Fry,"Hey! You have no right to criticise the 20th century. We gave the world the lightbulb, the steamboat and the cotton gin."
Fry,"Hey! You have no right to criticise the 20th century. We gave the world the lightbulb, the steamboat and the cotton gin.",Leela,century.
Leela,century.,Fry,"Yeah, well, they probably just copied us."
Fry,"Yeah, well, they probably just copied us.",Farnsworth,Please! There's no time for this now. This is an emergency. We must warn the mayor.
Farnsworth,Please! There's no time for this now. This is an emergency. We must warn the mayor.,Poopenmeyer,"Garbage ball, huh? That sounds serious."
Poopenmeyer,"Garbage ball, huh? That sounds serious.",Farnsworth,"Very serious, Mayor Poopenmeyer."
Farnsworth,"Very serious, Mayor Poopenmeyer.",Poopenmeyer,Send in my science advisor.
Poopenmeyer,Send in my science advisor.,Farnsworth,Wernstrom!
Farnsworth,Wernstrom!,Wernstrom,"Well, well, well! Come to present your latest napkin, Professor?"
Wernstrom,"Well, well, well! Come to present your latest napkin, Professor?",Farnsworth,"No, I'm here because a giant trash ball is heading straight for us. Smell for yourself."
Farnsworth,"No, I'm here because a giant trash ball is heading straight for us. Smell for yourself.",Poopenmeyer,Hey! Holy jeez!
Poopenmeyer,Hey! Holy jeez!,Wernstrom,"That smell could be anything; a faulty stench coil, some cheese on the lens, who knows?"
Wernstrom,"That smell could be anything; a faulty stench coil, some cheese on the lens, who knows?",Woman,"Mr. Mayor, we just got this transmission from Neptune."
Woman,"Mr. Mayor, we just got this transmission from Neptune.",Man,... passed close by ... horrible stench.
Man,... passed close by ... horrible stench.,Woman,"No, I, guess it keeps going."
Woman,"No, I, guess it keeps going.",Woman,There we go.
Woman,There we go.,Poopenmeyer,My God! The senile old man is right.
Poopenmeyer,My God! The senile old man is right.,Wernstrom,Do you mean him or me?
Wernstrom,Do you mean him or me?,Poopenmeyer,Him!
Poopenmeyer,Him!,Linda,"Next, New New York in crisis. Morbo?"
Linda,"Next, New New York in crisis. Morbo?",Morbo,"Thanks, human female. Puny Earthlings were shocked today to learn that a ball of garbage will destroy their pathetic city of New New York."
Morbo,"Thanks, human female. Puny Earthlings were shocked today to learn that a ball of garbage will destroy their pathetic city of New New York.",Linda,Makes me glad we live here in Los Angeles.
Linda,Makes me glad we live here in Los Angeles.,Morbo,Morbo agrees!
Morbo,Morbo agrees!,Leela,Can't we just shoot a missile at it?
Leela,Can't we just shoot a missile at it?,Military,Man: We've simulated that on a supercomputer but the ball is just too damn gooey. A missile would go right through it.
Military,Man: We've simulated that on a supercomputer but the ball is just too damn gooey. A missile would go right through it.,Farnsworth,But suppose we send a crew to plant an explosive precisely on the fault line between this mass of coffee grounds and this deposit of America Online floppy disks.
Farnsworth,But suppose we send a crew to plant an explosive precisely on the fault line between this mass of coffee grounds and this deposit of America Online floppy disks.,Military,"Man: In theory, it could work."
Military,"Man: In theory, it could work.",Wernstrom,"Uh, in theory, perhaps. But you'll never find a crew willing to take on a mission so suicidally dangerous."
Wernstrom,"Uh, in theory, perhaps. But you'll never find a crew willing to take on a mission so suicidally dangerous.",Bender,"Oh, crap!"
Bender,"Oh, crap!",Farnsworth,"Now, you'll only have one chance to destroy the ball. After that, it will be so close to Earth that blowing it up would cause garbage to rain over the entire planet, killing billions."
Farnsworth,"Now, you'll only have one chance to destroy the ball. After that, it will be so close to Earth that blowing it up would cause garbage to rain over the entire planet, killing billions.",Bender,"Oh, boo-hoo!"
Bender,"Oh, boo-hoo!",Farnsworth,"Now here's the bomb I've prepared. Once you activate it, you'll have 25 minutes to get away."
Farnsworth,"Now here's the bomb I've prepared. Once you activate it, you'll have 25 minutes to get away.",Leela,That's all? But--
Leela,That's all? But--,Farnsworth,"Now, now, there'll be plenty of time to discuss your objections when and if you return."
Farnsworth,"Now, now, there'll be plenty of time to discuss your objections when and if you return.",Leela,We're breaking up. Turn on the anti-smell device.
Leela,We're breaking up. Turn on the anti-smell device.,Fry,"Hmm, sporty!"
Fry,"Hmm, sporty!",Fry,Wow!
Fry,Wow!,Leela,Look at all this filth.
Leela,Look at all this filth.,Fry,Some Bart Simpson dolls!
Fry,Some Bart Simpson dolls!,Doll,Eat my shorts!
Doll,Eat my shorts!,Bender,Mmm! Shorts!
Bender,Mmm! Shorts!,Leela,"Fry, this stuff was garbage when it was new. Let's blow it up already!"
Leela,"Fry, this stuff was garbage when it was new. Let's blow it up already!",Fry,This junk isn't garbage! I can dig in any random pile and find something great.
Fry,This junk isn't garbage! I can dig in any random pile and find something great.,Fry,"Alright, let's get to work."
Fry,"Alright, let's get to work.",Leela,6h minutes?
Leela,6h minutes?,Bender,There's your problem. The Professor put the counter on upside-down.
Bender,There's your problem. The Professor put the counter on upside-down.,Leela,"That idiot! It wasn't set for 25 minutes, it was set for 52 seconds."
Leela,"That idiot! It wasn't set for 25 minutes, it was set for 52 seconds.",Fry,We're gonna die! (calmly) Right?
Fry,We're gonna die! (calmly) Right?,Bender,Right!
Bender,Right!,Bender,It's gonna blow!
Bender,It's gonna blow!,Leela,"Hey, watch it! You'll put somebody's eye out!"
Leela,"Hey, watch it! You'll put somebody's eye out!",Bender,"OK, OK, keep your space pants on. I'll take care of this."
Bender,"OK, OK, keep your space pants on. I'll take care of this.",Fry,We're saved!
Fry,We're saved!,Leela,"Yeah, but this garbage ball's unstoppable now. New New York is done for."
Leela,"Yeah, but this garbage ball's unstoppable now. New New York is done for.",Linda,"All in all, this is one day Mittens the kitten won't soon forget!"
Linda,"All in all, this is one day Mittens the kitten won't soon forget!",Morbo,"Kittens give Morbo gas. In lighter news, the city of New New York is doomed. Blame rests with known human Professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny, inferior brain."
Morbo,"Kittens give Morbo gas. In lighter news, the city of New New York is doomed. Blame rests with known human Professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny, inferior brain.",Farnsworth,I'm a dried up husk of a scientist. This is all my fault.
Farnsworth,I'm a dried up husk of a scientist. This is all my fault.,Fry,Leela was right. The people of the 20th century were idiotic slobs. Especially me.
Fry,Leela was right. The people of the 20th century were idiotic slobs. Especially me.,Poopenmeyer,Enough! You all failed miserably. It's time to put a real scientist in charge.
Poopenmeyer,Enough! You all failed miserably. It's time to put a real scientist in charge.,Farnsworth,Wernstrom!
Farnsworth,Wernstrom!,Wernstrom,The very same.
Wernstrom,The very same.,Poopenmeyer,"Dr. Wernstrom, can you save my city?"
Poopenmeyer,"Dr. Wernstrom, can you save my city?",Wernstrom,Of course. But it'll cost you. First I'll need tenure.
Wernstrom,Of course. But it'll cost you. First I'll need tenure.,Poopenmeyer,Done.
Poopenmeyer,Done.,Wernstrom,And a big research grant.
Wernstrom,And a big research grant.,Poopenmeyer,You got it.
Poopenmeyer,You got it.,Wernstrom,"Also, access to a lab and five graduate students, at least three of them Chinese."
Wernstrom,"Also, access to a lab and five graduate students, at least three of them Chinese.",Poopenmeyer,"Um, alright done. What's your plan?"
Poopenmeyer,"Um, alright done. What's your plan?","Wernstrom,",suckers!
"Wernstrom,",suckers!,Leela,That rat! Do something!
Leela,That rat! Do something!,Poopenmeyer,I wish I could but he's got tenure!
Poopenmeyer,I wish I could but he's got tenure!,Poopenmeyer,"Well, I'm out of ideas. Anyone?"
Poopenmeyer,"Well, I'm out of ideas. Anyone?",Farnsworth,"Wait! If we could build an object the exact size, density and consistency of the garbage ball, it might just knock the ball away without smashing it to bits."
Farnsworth,"Wait! If we could build an object the exact size, density and consistency of the garbage ball, it might just knock the ball away without smashing it to bits.",Leela,But where can we find a substance the exact density and consistency as garbage?
Leela,But where can we find a substance the exact density and consistency as garbage?,Farnsworth,"Alas, I don't know."
Farnsworth,"Alas, I don't know.",Fry,"Uh, what about garbage?"
Fry,"Uh, what about garbage?",Farnsworth,Good Lord! A second ball of garbage! That just might work!
Farnsworth,Good Lord! A second ball of garbage! That just might work!,Poopenmeyer,But garbage isn't something you just find lying in the streets of Manhattan. This city's been garbage-free for 500 years!
Poopenmeyer,But garbage isn't something you just find lying in the streets of Manhattan. This city's been garbage-free for 500 years!,Fry,Then it's time to make some more.
Fry,Then it's time to make some more.,Poopenmeyer,Make garbage? But how?
Poopenmeyer,Make garbage? But how?,Fry,Pure garbage. Now you try it.
Fry,Pure garbage. Now you try it.,Poopenmeyer,"By God, I think the boy's got something. Come on, everyone! The fate of the city is at stake!"
Poopenmeyer,"By God, I think the boy's got something. Come on, everyone! The fate of the city is at stake!",Fry,Very nice.
Fry,Very nice.,Poopenmeyer,We've trashed this room but that's just the start. We've got to get Fry's message to the people.
Poopenmeyer,We've trashed this room but that's just the start. We've got to get Fry's message to the people.,Fry,"People of New New York, take a lesson from the 20th century. Stop all this pain-in-the-ass recycling and throw your garbage on the floor."
Fry,"People of New New York, take a lesson from the 20th century. Stop all this pain-in-the-ass recycling and throw your garbage on the floor.",Fry,Go ahead. Just chuck it any old place like I used to. Your city is counting on you.
Fry,Go ahead. Just chuck it any old place like I used to. Your city is counting on you.,Farnsworth,"If my calculations are correct, this garbage ball will knock the other garbage ball directly into the sun."
Farnsworth,"If my calculations are correct, this garbage ball will knock the other garbage ball directly into the sun.",Wernstrom,"And if my calculations are correct, we're all going to die horribly."
Wernstrom,"And if my calculations are correct, we're all going to die horribly.",Poopenmeyer,"Alright, places everyone. Prepare for launch."
Poopenmeyer,"Alright, places everyone. Prepare for launch.",Farnsworth,"Five, four, three, two, three, four, five, six..."
Farnsworth,"Five, four, three, two, three, four, five, six...",Leela,Just fire the damn thing.
Leela,Just fire the damn thing.,Fry,Oops!
Fry,Oops!,Farnsworth,Burning garbage!
Farnsworth,Burning garbage!,Fry,It worked!
Fry,It worked!,Poopenmeyer,"And so, on behalf of the entire city, I thank you, Professor Farnsworth. I now present you with the Academy prize, which we confiscated from Dr. Wernstrom after it became apparent that he was a jackass."
Poopenmeyer,"And so, on behalf of the entire city, I thank you, Professor Farnsworth. I now present you with the Academy prize, which we confiscated from Dr. Wernstrom after it became apparent that he was a jackass.",Farnsworth,"Yes! In your face, Wernstrom!"
Farnsworth,"Yes! In your face, Wernstrom!",Wernstrom,"I'll get you, Farnsworth. Even if it takes me another hundred years."
Wernstrom,"I'll get you, Farnsworth. Even if it takes me another hundred years.",Poopenmeyer,"And, Fry, we owe you a tremendous debt as well. If not for your 20th century garbage-making skills, we'd all be buried under 20th century garbage."
Poopenmeyer,"And, Fry, we owe you a tremendous debt as well. If not for your 20th century garbage-making skills, we'd all be buried under 20th century garbage.",Leela,"Should we really be celebrating? I mean, what if the second garbage ball returns to Earth like the first one did?"
Leela,"Should we really be celebrating? I mean, what if the second garbage ball returns to Earth like the first one did?",Fry,Who cares? That won't be for hundreds of years.
Fry,Who cares? That won't be for hundreds of years.,Farnsworth,Exactly! It's none of our concern.
Farnsworth,Exactly! It's none of our concern.,Fry,That's the 20th century spirit!
Fry,That's the 20th century spirit!,Fry,This is awesome! I've been waiting a thousand years to see a Beastie Boys show.
Fry,This is awesome! I've been waiting a thousand years to see a Beastie Boys show.,Bender,Can I get anybody a beer?
Bender,Can I get anybody a beer?,Fry,Sure!
Fry,Sure!,Announcer,"Ladies and gentlemen, here to lay down some old, old, incredibly old school beats: The Beastie Boys!"
Announcer,"Ladies and gentlemen, here to lay down some old, old, incredibly old school beats: The Beastie Boys!",Beastie,Boys...
Beastie,Boys...,Leela,Impressive. They're busting mad rhymes with an 80% success rate.
Leela,Impressive. They're busting mad rhymes with an 80% success rate.,Bender,I believe that qualifies as ill. At least from a technical standpoint.
Bender,I believe that qualifies as ill. At least from a technical standpoint.,Fry,Will you guys shut up! I'm trying to look cool.
Fry,Will you guys shut up! I'm trying to look cool.,Beastie,Boys
Beastie,Boys,Beastie,Boys know to let the beat...
Beastie,Boys know to let the beat...,Mike,Don't forget to pick up a T-shirt!
Mike,Don't forget to pick up a T-shirt!,Fry,"Wow! An old-fashioned mosh pit! Come on, guys. Tonight we're gonna party like its 1999 ... again."
Fry,"Wow! An old-fashioned mosh pit! Come on, guys. Tonight we're gonna party like its 1999 ... again.",Beastie,Boys
Beastie,Boys,I,move the crowd to the break of break of dawn...
I,move the crowd to the break of break of dawn...,Leela,"Ow! Hey, watch it!"
Leela,"Ow! Hey, watch it!",Fry,"Man, these guys rock harder than ever!"
Fry,"Man, these guys rock harder than ever!",Mike,"Oh, my..."
Mike,"Oh, my...",MCA,It's a mirage...
MCA,It's a mirage...,Ad-Rock,Tellin' you all it's a...
Ad-Rock,Tellin' you all it's a...,Beastie,Boys: Sabotage!
Beastie,Boys: Sabotage!,Ad-Rock,"Sabotage, yeah!"
Ad-Rock,"Sabotage, yeah!",Mike,"Peace, we out!"
Mike,"Peace, we out!",Fender,"Hey, Bender!"
Fender,"Hey, Bender!",Bender,"Hey, Fender! Man, I haven't seen you since high school. You still workin' at Jack In The Box?"
Bender,"Hey, Fender! Man, I haven't seen you since high school. You still workin' at Jack In The Box?",Fender,"Not anymore, baby. I'm with the band!"
Fender,"Not anymore, baby. I'm with the band!",Mike,"Aw! Oh, yeah!"
Mike,"Aw! Oh, yeah!",Fender,"Hey, fellas, hey. I want you to meet my friends, Bender, Fry and Leela."
Fender,"Hey, fellas, hey. I want you to meet my friends, Bender, Fry and Leela.",Ad-Rock,"Y'know, we're really not that interested in meeting them."
Ad-Rock,"Y'know, we're really not that interested in meeting them.",Fry,"Wow! I love you guys! Back in the 20th century, I had all five of your albums."
Fry,"Wow! I love you guys! Back in the 20th century, I had all five of your albums.",Ad-Rock,That was a thousand years ago. Now we got seven.
Ad-Rock,That was a thousand years ago. Now we got seven.,Fry,Cool! Can I borrow the new ones? And a couple of blank tapes?
Fry,Cool! Can I borrow the new ones? And a couple of blank tapes?,Fender,"Hey, Bender, why don't we ditch these organ sacks and hit the real party?"
Fender,"Hey, Bender, why don't we ditch these organ sacks and hit the real party?",Bender,Count me in! I'm gonna drink till I reboot!
Bender,Count me in! I'm gonna drink till I reboot!,Bender,"Hey, what kinda party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker."
Bender,"Hey, what kinda party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.",Fender,Wanna jolt?
Fender,Wanna jolt?,Bender,"Uh, hey, I'm no square but isn't that counter-indicated by my operations manual?"
Bender,"Uh, hey, I'm no square but isn't that counter-indicated by my operations manual?",Robot,Counter indicated!
Robot,Counter indicated!,Fender,"Come on, Bender, grab a jack. I told these guys you were cool."
Fender,"Come on, Bender, grab a jack. I told these guys you were cool.",Bender,"Well, if jacking on'll make strangers think I'm cool, I'll do it!"
Bender,"Well, if jacking on'll make strangers think I'm cool, I'll do it!",Fender,"Easy, baby. You don't wanna get hooked on this stuff."
Fender,"Easy, baby. You don't wanna get hooked on this stuff.",Bender,"Eh, no need to worry. I don't have an addictive personality."
Bender,"Eh, no need to worry. I don't have an addictive personality.",Fry,"Hey, uh, Bender? What are we doing in this bad neighbourhood?"
Fry,"Hey, uh, Bender? What are we doing in this bad neighbourhood?",Bender,I'll just be a minute!
Bender,I'll just be a minute!,Bender,Hey! Do I preach to you when you're lying stoned in the gutter? No! So beat it!
Bender,Hey! Do I preach to you when you're lying stoned in the gutter? No! So beat it!,Fry,Who was that guy?
Fry,Who was that guy?,Bender,Your mama! Now shut up and drag me to work!
Bender,Your mama! Now shut up and drag me to work!,Zoidberg,Me?
Zoidberg,Me?,Amy,"Good morning, Bender."
Amy,"Good morning, Bender.",Bender,None of your business! Get off my back!
Bender,None of your business! Get off my back!,Amy,What's his problem?
Amy,What's his problem?,Leela,If I didn't know better I'd almost think he was abusing electricity.
Leela,If I didn't know better I'd almost think he was abusing electricity.,Fry,I definitely would've noticed something.
Fry,I definitely would've noticed something.,Leela,"Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you jacking on in there?"
Leela,"Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you jacking on in there?",Bender,No! Don't come in!
Bender,No! Don't come in!,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! Today you'll be delivering a crate of subpoenas to Sicily 8, the Mob Planet!"
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! Today you'll be delivering a crate of subpoenas to Sicily 8, the Mob Planet!",Bender,"Alright, let's get to work! I'll be out in a second."
Bender,"Alright, let's get to work! I'll be out in a second.",Fry,I know Big Vinnie said he was giving me the kiss of death but I still think he was gay.
Fry,I know Big Vinnie said he was giving me the kiss of death but I still think he was gay.,Leela,Did he use his tongue?
Leela,Did he use his tongue?,Fry,"You OK, Bender?"
Fry,"You OK, Bender?",Bender,None of your business! Get off my back!
Bender,None of your business! Get off my back!,Leela,Uh-oh. There seems to be some sort of electrical disturbance in the Coalsack Nebula.
Leela,Uh-oh. There seems to be some sort of electrical disturbance in the Coalsack Nebula.,Bender,kind of disturbance?
Bender,kind of disturbance?,Leela,"Electrical. Anyway, it's going to take some careful piloting to avoid it."
Leela,"Electrical. Anyway, it's going to take some careful piloting to avoid it.",Leela,We're out of control. We're heading straight into the electric field!
Leela,We're out of control. We're heading straight into the electric field!,Fry,What's happening? I-I feel weird!
Fry,What's happening? I-I feel weird!,Bender,"Oh, mama!"
Bender,"Oh, mama!",Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Leela,"Bender, we didn't mind your drinking, or your kleptomania, or your pornography ring."
Leela,"Bender, we didn't mind your drinking, or your kleptomania, or your pornography ring.",Zoidberg,"In fact, that's why we loved you."
Zoidberg,"In fact, that's why we loved you.",Leela,But this electricity abuse crossed the line. You almost killed us.
Leela,But this electricity abuse crossed the line. You almost killed us.,Fry,And you made me feel like a jerk for trusting you. Just like when my friend Richie swore he wasn't taking drugs and then he sold me my mom's VCR and then later I found out he was taking drugs. You make me ashamed to be your friend.
Fry,And you made me feel like a jerk for trusting you. Just like when my friend Richie swore he wasn't taking drugs and then he sold me my mom's VCR and then later I found out he was taking drugs. You make me ashamed to be your friend.,Bender,You're right. I'm a lost cause.
Bender,You're right. I'm a lost cause.,Bender,Maybe there's another way.
Bender,Maybe there's another way.,Bender,What am I doing? What have I become? Huh?
Bender,What am I doing? What have I become? Huh?,Preacherbot,"metal. But that don't impress the Robot Devil, no, sir!"
Preacherbot,"metal. But that don't impress the Robot Devil, no, sir!",Vergerbot,"No, sir!"
Vergerbot,"No, sir!",Preacherbot,"'Cause if you're a sinner, he's gonna plug his infernal modem in the wall, belchin' smoke and flame. And he's gonna download you straight to Robot Hell!"
Preacherbot,"'Cause if you're a sinner, he's gonna plug his infernal modem in the wall, belchin' smoke and flame. And he's gonna download you straight to Robot Hell!",Vergerbot,Straight to hell!
Vergerbot,Straight to hell!,Preacherbot,So I ask you: Who will stand up and be saved? Who? Who?
Preacherbot,So I ask you: Who will stand up and be saved? Who? Who?,Bender,Me.
Bender,Me.,Hermes,"And as a further cost-cutting measure, I have eliminated the salt-water cooler."
Hermes,"And as a further cost-cutting measure, I have eliminated the salt-water cooler.",Zoidberg,This is a witch hunt!
Zoidberg,This is a witch hunt!,(talking),"Greetings, friends. Don't we all look nice today?"
(talking),"Greetings, friends. Don't we all look nice today?",Fry,Great! He's whacked out on electricity again.
Fry,Great! He's whacked out on electricity again.,Bender,"No, I'm whacked out on life. My friends, I found religion."
Bender,"No, I'm whacked out on life. My friends, I found religion.",Fry,Religion? Is this another scam to get free yarmulkes?
Fry,Religion? Is this another scam to get free yarmulkes?,Leela,"Give him a break, Fry. If this helps Bender clean up his act then I think we should be supportive."
Leela,"Give him a break, Fry. If this helps Bender clean up his act then I think we should be supportive.",Farnsworth,Yes.
Farnsworth,Yes.,Amy,"Oh, yeah."
Amy,"Oh, yeah.",Hermes,"Oh, yes!"
Hermes,"Oh, yes!",Zoidberg,"Oh, yeah."
Zoidberg,"Oh, yeah.",Bender,"Wonderful. Then you'll all come to my exceedingly long, un-air-conditioned baptism ceremony!"
Bender,"Wonderful. Then you'll all come to my exceedingly long, un-air-conditioned baptism ceremony!",Preacherbot,"We are gathered here today to deliver brother Bender from the cold, steel grip of the Robot Devil unto the cold, steel bosom of our congregation."
Preacherbot,"We are gathered here today to deliver brother Bender from the cold, steel grip of the Robot Devil unto the cold, steel bosom of our congregation.",Robot,"#2: Tell it, Preacher!"
Robot,"#2: Tell it, Preacher!",Robot,#3: That equals true.
Robot,#3: That equals true.,Preacherbot,"Brother Bender, do you accept the principles of Robotology on pain of eternal damnation in Robot Hell?"
Preacherbot,"Brother Bender, do you accept the principles of Robotology on pain of eternal damnation in Robot Hell?",Bender,"Yes, I do."
Bender,"Yes, I do.",Preacherbot,Press any key to continue.
Preacherbot,Press any key to continue.,Bender,"Uh, while you're at it, could you touch up this seam?"
Bender,"Uh, while you're at it, could you touch up this seam?",Leela,This is unbelievable. The old Bender never would have taken us out to dinner.
Leela,This is unbelievable. The old Bender never would have taken us out to dinner.,Bender,The old Bender's gone. He won't trouble you anymore.
Bender,The old Bender's gone. He won't trouble you anymore.,Waiter,care to see the wine list?
Waiter,care to see the wine list?,Bender,Ah! Functional!
Bender,Ah! Functional!,Hermes,"Mon, I'm hungrier than a green snake in a sugar cane field!"
Hermes,"Mon, I'm hungrier than a green snake in a sugar cane field!",Bender,In the name of all that is good and logical we give thanks for the chemical energy we are about to absorb. To quote the prophet Jerematic: 1000101010101...
Bender,In the name of all that is good and logical we give thanks for the chemical energy we are about to absorb. To quote the prophet Jerematic: 1000101010101...,Bender,...0010110012. Amen.
Bender,...0010110012. Amen.,Fry,Does that mean we can eat now?
Fry,Does that mean we can eat now?,Bender,"But first, since I love you all so much, I'd like to give everyone hugs. Come here, Fry!"
Bender,"But first, since I love you all so much, I'd like to give everyone hugs. Come here, Fry!",Fry,"Oh, uh, but I don't want to."
Fry,"Oh, uh, but I don't want to.",Bender,"Come on, everyone line up for a hug. Let's tear down some emotional walls."
Bender,"Come on, everyone line up for a hug. Let's tear down some emotional walls.",Leela,What are you doing to my ship?
Leela,What are you doing to my ship?,Bender,There! That ought to convert a few tailgaters.
Bender,There! That ought to convert a few tailgaters.,Fry,Bender's stupid religion is driving me nuts.
Fry,Bender's stupid religion is driving me nuts.,Leela,Amen.
Leela,Amen.,Farnsworth,If only he had joined a mainstream religion like Oprah-ism or Voodoo.
Farnsworth,If only he had joined a mainstream religion like Oprah-ism or Voodoo.,Fry,We've got to get the old Bender back.
Fry,We've got to get the old Bender back.,Leela,And I think I know a way to do it. We have to reacquaint him with a little thing called sleaze.
Leela,And I think I know a way to do it. We have to reacquaint him with a little thing called sleaze.,Bender,I can't believe somebody hired an interstellar spaceship to deliver a package to Atlantic City. What are we delivering anyway?
Bender,I can't believe somebody hired an interstellar spaceship to deliver a package to Atlantic City. What are we delivering anyway?,Fry,"Uh, this."
Fry,"Uh, this.",Bender,Where are we delivering it to?
Bender,Where are we delivering it to?,Leela,"Uh, here."
Leela,"Uh, here.",Bender,Another job well done. Now back to the office for an enjoyable evening of fasting and repentance.
Bender,Another job well done. Now back to the office for an enjoyable evening of fasting and repentance.,Leela,"Hey, great idea!"
Leela,"Hey, great idea!",Bender,But ... those girls don't wear cases. You can see their bare circuits.
Bender,But ... those girls don't wear cases. You can see their bare circuits.,Bender,What? Drinking wine is a sin. Even if it is deliciously fortified.
Bender,What? Drinking wine is a sin. Even if it is deliciously fortified.,Leela,"Hey, Bender, look at that woman's purse. It's hanging by a spaghetti strand."
Leela,"Hey, Bender, look at that woman's purse. It's hanging by a spaghetti strand.",Bender,Thou shalt not snatch.
Bender,Thou shalt not snatch.,Fry,And there's Hookerbot 5000. She's got a heart of solid gold!
Fry,And there's Hookerbot 5000. She's got a heart of solid gold!,Hookerbot,"Hey, sailing unit!"
Hookerbot,"Hey, sailing unit!",Bender,Stop tempting me! For once in my life I have inner peace.
Bender,Stop tempting me! For once in my life I have inner peace.,Fry,"Pfft! That's for losers. C'mon, sin your heart out."
Fry,"Pfft! That's for losers. C'mon, sin your heart out.",Leela,Go nuts.
Leela,Go nuts.,Hookerbot,Live a little.
Hookerbot,Live a little.,Woman,Could you hold my purse for a minute?
Woman,Could you hold my purse for a minute?,Fry,"Go for it, Bender. You know you wanna!"
Fry,"Go for it, Bender. You know you wanna!",Bender,Well...
Bender,Well...,Bender,Woo-hoo!
Bender,Woo-hoo!,Fry,Look's like we got the old Bender back!
Fry,Look's like we got the old Bender back!,Bender,"You know it, pork pie! Except for one thing."
Bender,"You know it, pork pie! Except for one thing.",Bender,No! No!
Bender,No! No!,Robot,"Devil: Greetings, Bender! Welcome to Robot Hell."
Robot,"Devil: Greetings, Bender! Welcome to Robot Hell.",Leela,What in hell happened to Bender?
Leela,What in hell happened to Bender?,Fry,"Look, Nibbler's caught the scent of vodka and motor oil! Go, boy. Follow that stench."
Fry,"Look, Nibbler's caught the scent of vodka and motor oil! Go, boy. Follow that stench.",Bender,"I'm hallucinating this, right?"
Bender,"I'm hallucinating this, right?",Robot,"Devil: No, Bender. Robot Hell is quite real. Here's our brochure."
Robot,"Devil: No, Bender. Robot Hell is quite real. Here's our brochure.",Bender,But I don't belong here. I don't like things that are scary and painful.
Bender,But I don't belong here. I don't like things that are scary and painful.,Robot,"Devil: Sorry, Bender, you agreed to this when you joined our religion. If you sin you go to Robot Hell, for all eternity."
Robot,"Devil: Sorry, Bender, you agreed to this when you joined our religion. If you sin you go to Robot Hell, for all eternity.",Bender,"Aw, hell-- I mean heck!"
Bender,"Aw, hell-- I mean heck!",Robot,"Devil: It's alright, you can say that here."
Robot,"Devil: It's alright, you can say that here.",Fry,Wait! I remember this place. They shut it down after all those people caught salmonella from the flume ride.
Fry,Wait! I remember this place. They shut it down after all those people caught salmonella from the flume ride.,Leela,Hmm. Look! It's the symbol of Bender's old religion.
Leela,Hmm. Look! It's the symbol of Bender's old religion.,Fry,"Unbelievable. It's an actual, factual Robot Hell."
Fry,"Unbelievable. It's an actual, factual Robot Hell.",Leela,Who would've thought hell would really exist? And that it would be in New Jersey!
Leela,Who would've thought hell would really exist? And that it would be in New Jersey!,Fry,Actually--
Fry,Actually--,Robot,"Devil your sins, Bender. And for each one we've prepared an agonising and ironic punishment. Gentlemen?"
Robot,"Devil your sins, Bender. And for each one we've prepared an agonising and ironic punishment. Gentlemen?",Bender,"Aw, crap, singing. Mind if I smoke?"
Bender,"Aw, crap, singing. Mind if I smoke?",Robot,Devil
Robot,Devil,Here,on level one of Robot Hell!
Here,on level one of Robot Hell!,Robot,Devil
Robot,Devil,I'm,pit boss here on level two!
I'm,pit boss here on level two!,Robot,Devil: Ooh! Deep-fried robot!
Robot,Devil: Ooh! Deep-fried robot!,Bender,Just tell me why.
Bender,Just tell me why.,Robot,Devil: Please read this 55-page warrant.
Robot,Devil: Please read this 55-page warrant.,Bender,There must be robots worse than I.
Bender,There must be robots worse than I.,Robot,"Devil: We've checked around, there really aren't."
Robot,"Devil: We've checked around, there really aren't.",My,crimes were merely boy-ish pranks.
My,crimes were merely boy-ish pranks.,Robot,"Devil: You stole from boy scouts, nuns and banks!"
Robot,"Devil: You stole from boy scouts, nuns and banks!",Blame,my upbringing!
Blame,my upbringing!,Robot,Devil: Please stop sinning while I'm singing!
Robot,Devil: Please stop sinning while I'm singing!,Robot,Devil
Robot,Devil,Musicians,need that income to survive.
Musicians,need that income to survive.,Beastie,Boys
Beastie,Boys,That's,"whatcha, whatcha, whatcha get on level five!"
That's,"whatcha, whatcha, whatcha get on level five!",Fry,I don't feel well.
Fry,I don't feel well.,Leela,It's up to us to rescue him.
Leela,It's up to us to rescue him.,Fry,Maybe he likes it here in Hell.
Fry,Maybe he likes it here in Hell.,Leela,It's us who tempted him to sin.
Leela,It's us who tempted him to sin.,Fry,Maybe he's back at the motel.
Fry,Maybe he's back at the motel.,So,"just sit back, enjoy the ride."
So,"just sit back, enjoy the ride.",Fry,My ass has blisters from the slide.
Fry,My ass has blisters from the slide.,Robot,Devil
Robot,Devil,Publishing,"indecent magazines,"
Publishing,"indecent magazines,",Robot,Devil
Robot,Devil,Trapped,forever here in Robot Hell!
Trapped,forever here in Robot Hell!,Robot,"Devil: Of course, that's just for starters."
Robot,"Devil: Of course, that's just for starters.",Fry,"Bender, are you alright?"
Fry,"Bender, are you alright?",Bender,"No! Oh, they're tormenting me with up-tempo singing and dancing."
Bender,"No! Oh, they're tormenting me with up-tempo singing and dancing.",Leela,"Alright, Beelzebot, what'll it take to get our friend back?"
Leela,"Alright, Beelzebot, what'll it take to get our friend back?",Robot,"Devil: Sorry, but I hold all the cards here. There's nothing I can do. Now, if you'll just sign this fiddle contest waiver."
Robot,"Devil: Sorry, but I hold all the cards here. There's nothing I can do. Now, if you'll just sign this fiddle contest waiver.",Leela,Wait. What fiddle contest?
Leela,Wait. What fiddle contest?,Robot,"Devil: The Fairness In Hell Act of 2275 requires me to inform you that if you can best me in a fiddle contest, you win back Bender's soul. As well as a solid gold fiddle."
Robot,"Devil: The Fairness In Hell Act of 2275 requires me to inform you that if you can best me in a fiddle contest, you win back Bender's soul. As well as a solid gold fiddle.",Fry,Wouldn't a solid gold fiddle weigh hundreds of pounds and sound crummy?
Fry,Wouldn't a solid gold fiddle weigh hundreds of pounds and sound crummy?,Robot,Devil: Well it's mostly for show.
Robot,Devil: Well it's mostly for show.,Leela,Do you know how to play the fiddle?
Leela,Do you know how to play the fiddle?,Fry,No. Do you?
Fry,No. Do you?,Leela,What happens if we lose?
Leela,What happens if we lose?,Robot,"Devil: You'll only win a smaller, silver fiddle. Also I guess I'll kill one of you, uh, him."
Robot,"Devil: You'll only win a smaller, silver fiddle. Also I guess I'll kill one of you, uh, him.",Leela,We'll do it.
Leela,We'll do it.,Robot,"Devil: Very well, then. Beat this."
Robot,"Devil: Very well, then. Beat this.",Robot,Devil Ha!
Robot,Devil Ha!,Leela,Time for the drum solo!
Leela,Time for the drum solo!,Fry,Run!
Fry,Run!,Robot,Devil: Stop them! They cheated!
Robot,Devil: Stop them! They cheated!,Leela,"Hurry, Bender!"
Leela,"Hurry, Bender!",Bender,I could if you'd drop the stupid gold violin!
Bender,I could if you'd drop the stupid gold violin!,Leela,"Oh, sorry."
Leela,"Oh, sorry.",Bender,"Don't worry, guys, I'll never be too good or too evil again. From now on, I'll just be me."
Bender,"Don't worry, guys, I'll never be too good or too evil again. From now on, I'll just be me.",Leela,"Uh, do you think you could be just little less evil than that."
Leela,"Uh, do you think you could be just little less evil than that.",Bender,I don't know. Do you think you could survive a 700ft fall?
Bender,I don't know. Do you think you could survive a 700ft fall?,Fry,Good old Bender!
Fry,Good old Bender!,Beastie,Boys!
Beastie,Boys!,Leela,was the worst delivery ever.
Leela,was the worst delivery ever.,Fry,Yeah. I'm never going to another planet called Cannibalon!
Fry,Yeah. I'm never going to another planet called Cannibalon!,Bender,"Food was good, though."
Bender,"Food was good, though.",Farnsworth,"Oh, great news, everyone."
Farnsworth,"Oh, great news, everyone.",Bender,Shove it! We quit!
Bender,Shove it! We quit!,Farnsworth,In that case I'll have to hire a new crew to go on our company vacation.
Farnsworth,In that case I'll have to hire a new crew to go on our company vacation.,Leela,Vacation?
Leela,Vacation?,Bender,Alright!
Bender,Alright!,Fry,This is great! I haven't had time off since I was 21 through 24.
Fry,This is great! I haven't had time off since I was 21 through 24.,Farnsworth,It's just my way of thanking you for not reporting my countless violations of safety and minimum wage laws.
Farnsworth,It's just my way of thanking you for not reporting my countless violations of safety and minimum wage laws.,Bender,"Aww, you!"
Bender,"Aww, you!",Farnsworth,The Titanic!
Farnsworth,The Titanic!,Leela,Looks nice.
Leela,Looks nice.,Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Poopenmeyer,"As Mayor of New New York, it's my pleasure to introduce the honorary captain for the Titanic's maiden voyage. A man who single-handedly defeated the Retiree People of the Assisted Living Nebula: Zapp Brannigan!"
Poopenmeyer,"As Mayor of New New York, it's my pleasure to introduce the honorary captain for the Titanic's maiden voyage. A man who single-handedly defeated the Retiree People of the Assisted Living Nebula: Zapp Brannigan!",Leela!,Not Zapp Brannigan!
Leela!,Not Zapp Brannigan!,Zoidberg,You know Zapp Brannigan?
Zoidberg,You know Zapp Brannigan?,Leela,Let's just say we've crossed paths.
Leela,Let's just say we've crossed paths.,Bender,Was that before or after you slept with him?
Bender,Was that before or after you slept with him?,Zapp,boots?
Zapp,boots?,"Leela,",meet Zapp Brannigan.
"Leela,",meet Zapp Brannigan.,Fry,Ooh! How do you do?
Fry,Ooh! How do you do?,Farnsworth,"Ah, here's my stateroom."
Farnsworth,"Ah, here's my stateroom.",Bender,"Come on, where is it?"
Bender,"Come on, where is it?",Farnsworth,"Now, Hermes, you and your lovely wife, LaBarbara, have the suite through there. And Dr. Zoidberg, your marble tank is on the other side."
Farnsworth,"Now, Hermes, you and your lovely wife, LaBarbara, have the suite through there. And Dr. Zoidberg, your marble tank is on the other side.",Fry,"Man, first class seems nice!"
Fry,"Man, first class seems nice!",Farnsworth,It'll seem even nicer once you've seen your room.
Farnsworth,It'll seem even nicer once you've seen your room.,Amy,Looks like we're on the Fiesta Deck.
Amy,Looks like we're on the Fiesta Deck.,Leela,This is it.
Leela,This is it.,Fry,Well at least we get a window!
Fry,Well at least we get a window!,Bender,"Well, I'm tired of this room and everyone in it. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna pop over to the casino for the next 135 hours!"
Bender,"Well, I'm tired of this room and everyone in it. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna pop over to the casino for the next 135 hours!",Amy,I think I'll go and fill up on bisque at the buffet.
Amy,I think I'll go and fill up on bisque at the buffet.,Fry,I guess that just leaves you and your fake fianc´ ... all alone ... on a romantic cruise.
Fry,I guess that just leaves you and your fake fianc´ ... all alone ... on a romantic cruise.,Leela,Take it off or I'll break it off.
Leela,Take it off or I'll break it off.,Fry,OK!
Fry,OK!,Zapp,Captain's inspection!
Zapp,Captain's inspection!,Bender,"Come on, baby needs a new pair of feet!"
Bender,"Come on, baby needs a new pair of feet!",Croupier,Snake eyes.
Croupier,Snake eyes.,Bender,No! My cheating unit malfunctioned! You gotta give me a do-over!
Bender,No! My cheating unit malfunctioned! You gotta give me a do-over!,Croupier,do-overs. Next shooter.
Croupier,do-overs. Next shooter.,Bender,"Gimmie you're biggest, strongest, cheapest drink."
Bender,"Gimmie you're biggest, strongest, cheapest drink.",iZac,You got it!
iZac,You got it!,Bender,Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Bender.
Bender,Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Bender.,Countess,Charmed. I'm the Countess de la Roca. I was surprised to see another robot staying in first class. Most of the robots I meet are labourers.
Countess,Charmed. I'm the Countess de la Roca. I was surprised to see another robot staying in first class. Most of the robots I meet are labourers.,Bender,"I assure you, I barely know the meaning of the word labour."
Bender,"I assure you, I barely know the meaning of the word labour.",Countess,"Oh, Mr. Bender!"
Countess,"Oh, Mr. Bender!",Bender,"Please, call me Bender."
Bender,"Please, call me Bender.",Countess,"Oh, goodness. I don't--"
Countess,"Oh, goodness. I don't--",Zapp,"Kif, I'm feeling the captain's itch."
Zapp,"Kif, I'm feeling the captain's itch.",Kif,"I'll get the powder, sir."
Kif,"I'll get the powder, sir.",Zapp!,Prepare to change course.
Zapp!,Prepare to change course.,Kif,"Sir, this is a leisure cruise. Our path was set by the travel agency."
Kif,"Sir, this is a leisure cruise. Our path was set by the travel agency.",Zapp,That's for schoolgirls! Now here's a route with some chest hair.
Zapp,That's for schoolgirls! Now here's a route with some chest hair.,Kif,But that course leads directly through a swarm of comets.
Kif,But that course leads directly through a swarm of comets.,Zapp,"Divert power from the shields, full speed ahead!"
Zapp,"Divert power from the shields, full speed ahead!",Amy,"Oh, yeah!"
Amy,"Oh, yeah!",Mrs.,Wong: Amy! Hello!
Mrs.,Wong: Amy! Hello!,Amy,Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?
Amy,Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?,Mr.,"Wong: We were planning on enjoying a relaxing vacation. But since you're here, we'll have to do some meddling."
Mr.,"Wong: We were planning on enjoying a relaxing vacation. But since you're here, we'll have to do some meddling.",Mrs.,Wong boy in the cabin next to ours.
Mrs.,Wong boy in the cabin next to ours.,Mr.,Wong: He's not very ugly.
Mr.,Wong: He's not very ugly.,Mrs.,Wong: You should marry him! Or at least use him to conceive a grandchild for us.
Mrs.,Wong: You should marry him! Or at least use him to conceive a grandchild for us.,Mr.,Wong: There he is at the buffet!
Mr.,Wong: There he is at the buffet!,Amy,"Uh, he seems really nice but, well, I already have a boyfriend."
Amy,"Uh, he seems really nice but, well, I already have a boyfriend.",Mrs.,Wong: Really? Where is he?
Mrs.,Wong: Really? Where is he?,Mr.,Wong: And why isn't he here right now fathering our grandchild?
Mr.,Wong: And why isn't he here right now fathering our grandchild?,Amy,Uh...
Amy,Uh...,Leela,"Well, our accommodations aren't great, but it sure is beautiful out here."
Leela,"Well, our accommodations aren't great, but it sure is beautiful out here.",Fry,"Yeah, it's pretty romantic-- Uh, I mean platonic. Th-That sure is one platonic view!"
Fry,"Yeah, it's pretty romantic-- Uh, I mean platonic. Th-That sure is one platonic view!",Leela,"Fry, just be quiet. I'm beginning to think this whole fake fiancé thing was a terrible, terrible--"
Leela,"Fry, just be quiet. I'm beginning to think this whole fake fiancé thing was a terrible, terrible--",Fry,Hmm? Mmm!
Fry,Hmm? Mmm!,Zapp,... I just want you to know I'll be there to score you on the rebound.
Zapp,... I just want you to know I'll be there to score you on the rebound.,Leela,"Uh, look, before you get any crazy ideas, that was for Zapp."
Leela,"Uh, look, before you get any crazy ideas, that was for Zapp.",Fry,"Well, you got anything else for him?"
Fry,"Well, you got anything else for him?",Leela,"Alright, can we try not to complicate this?"
Leela,"Alright, can we try not to complicate this?",Amy,"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet Fry, my boyfriend."
Amy,"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet Fry, my boyfriend.",Fry,Hmm? Mmm!
Fry,Hmm? Mmm!,Fry,"See you later, wuvvums!"
Fry,"See you later, wuvvums!",Leela,me you were going out with Amy.
Leela,me you were going out with Amy.,Fry,"I'm not going out with Amy. It's just to fool her parents. Hey, you're not jealous, are you?"
Fry,"I'm not going out with Amy. It's just to fool her parents. Hey, you're not jealous, are you?",Leela!,Of course not!
Leela!,Of course not!,Fry,"Good, 'cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful."
Fry,"Good, 'cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.",Countess,Mind if I freshen up a bit before we go out?
Countess,Mind if I freshen up a bit before we go out?,Bender,Pay dirt!
Bender,Pay dirt!,Countess,"Lovely, isn't it?"
Countess,"Lovely, isn't it?",Bender,Yeah. But only 93% as lovely as you.
Bender,Yeah. But only 93% as lovely as you.,Countess,"Oh, Bender! Either that was a computing error or you're the most romantic robot I've ever met!"
Countess,"Oh, Bender! Either that was a computing error or you're the most romantic robot I've ever met!",Bender,"I don't get it, iZac; that bracelet had a diamond the size of a racoon's brain. Why couldn't I steal it?"
Bender,"I don't get it, iZac; that bracelet had a diamond the size of a racoon's brain. Why couldn't I steal it?",iZac,"It's obvious, Mr. B. You're in love."
iZac,"It's obvious, Mr. B. You're in love.",Bender,"Oh, it's true. But we're star-crossed robots. She, a countess, built with a silver spoon in her mouth. And me, just a regular honest Joe."
Bender,"Oh, it's true. But we're star-crossed robots. She, a countess, built with a silver spoon in her mouth. And me, just a regular honest Joe.",iZac,"Hey, you gonna pay for those?"
iZac,"Hey, you gonna pay for those?",Bender,"Hell, no!"
Bender,"Hell, no!",iZac,Security to bar area. Security to bar area.
iZac,Security to bar area. Security to bar area.,Bender,"Fellas, please. I'm in love!"
Bender,"Fellas, please. I'm in love!",iZac,Rough him up!
iZac,Rough him up!,Countess,What are you doing?
Countess,What are you doing?,iZac,"This penniless chump was stealing drinks, ma'am."
iZac,"This penniless chump was stealing drinks, ma'am.",Countess,Keep the change.
Countess,Keep the change.,iZac,You got it!
iZac,You got it!,Zoidberg,Aha!
Zoidberg,Aha!,Fry,"Go, Professor!"
Fry,"Go, Professor!",Amy,Lean back more!
Amy,Lean back more!,Farnsworth,Ow!
Farnsworth,Ow!,LaBarbara,"Come on, Hermes, you could out-limbo all of these people!"
LaBarbara,"Come on, Hermes, you could out-limbo all of these people!",Hermes,"Don't be a dog heart, woman. You know I can't. Not after what happened."
Hermes,"Don't be a dog heart, woman. You know I can't. Not after what happened.",Announcer,"Now limbo-ing for the Earth team, Hermes Conrad."
Announcer,"Now limbo-ing for the Earth team, Hermes Conrad.",Boy,"You're my hero, Hermes! I'm gonna be just like you!"
Boy,"You're my hero, Hermes! I'm gonna be just like you!",Hermes,"No, boy, stop! It's too low! Your backbone can't take it!"
Hermes,"No, boy, stop! It's too low! Your backbone can't take it!",Boy,I'm just like Hermes! I'm just like--
Boy,I'm just like Hermes! I'm just like--,Hermes,Nooo!
Hermes,Nooo!,LaBarbara,"There, there. Now you don't have to limbo if you don't want. It doesn't make you any less of a man."
LaBarbara,"There, there. Now you don't have to limbo if you don't want. It doesn't make you any less of a man.",Farnsworth,Though it did get me some action!
Farnsworth,Though it did get me some action!,Zapp,"Your attention, please. As captain of this vessel, the terrible burden of naming a limbo contest winner is mine and mine alone."
Zapp,"Your attention, please. As captain of this vessel, the terrible burden of naming a limbo contest winner is mine and mine alone.",Kif,Shouldn't you be steering between the comets?
Kif,Shouldn't you be steering between the comets?,Zapp,"And the winner is, Leela!"
Zapp,"And the winner is, Leela!",Leela,But I didn't even limbo.
Leela,But I didn't even limbo.,Zapp,are invited to dine at the captain's table this evening.
Zapp,are invited to dine at the captain's table this evening.,Bender,"Well, now you know. I'm not actually rich. I'm a fraud. A poor, lazy, sexy fraud. This isn't even a real bow-tie, it's magnetic."
Bender,"Well, now you know. I'm not actually rich. I'm a fraud. A poor, lazy, sexy fraud. This isn't even a real bow-tie, it's magnetic.",Countess,"Bender, I don't care whether you have money. I love you for your artificial intelligence and your sincerity simulator."
Countess,"Bender, I don't care whether you have money. I love you for your artificial intelligence and your sincerity simulator.",Bender,You do? Really?
Bender,You do? Really?,Zapp,"I like your style, Fry. You remind me of a young me. Not much younger, mind you. Perhaps even a couple of years older."
Zapp,"I like your style, Fry. You remind me of a young me. Not much younger, mind you. Perhaps even a couple of years older.",Fry,"Thank you, sir."
Fry,"Thank you, sir.",Zapp,"at another woman, I'll be all over Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manure."
Zapp,"at another woman, I'll be all over Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manure.",Fry,"Well, rest assured, Leela's the only girl for me."
Fry,"Well, rest assured, Leela's the only girl for me.",Amy,"Hey, Fry."
Amy,"Hey, Fry.",Leela,Amy!
Leela,Amy!,Amy,Leela!
Amy,Leela!,Zapp,"Ah, the family Wong. Our party is complete."
Zapp,"Ah, the family Wong. Our party is complete.",Leela,our boyfriends.
Leela,our boyfriends.,Zapp,I'd like to impose a toast on the happy couple. Down the hatch!
Zapp,I'd like to impose a toast on the happy couple. Down the hatch!,Mrs.,"Wong: Hear, hear! Now let's have a kiss!"
Mrs.,"Wong: Hear, hear! Now let's have a kiss!",Zapp,"Yes, Fry. Plant one on your woman."
Zapp,"Yes, Fry. Plant one on your woman.",Fry,"Um, let me think. Come and knock on our door, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh. Uh, Mr. Roper--"
Fry,"Um, let me think. Come and knock on our door, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh. Uh, Mr. Roper--",Mr.,Wong: What's the hold up? Kiss my daughter already!
Mr.,Wong: What's the hold up? Kiss my daughter already!,Farnsworth,"Wait, I'm confused. Now tell me, Fry, which one of these ladies are you involved with?"
Farnsworth,"Wait, I'm confused. Now tell me, Fry, which one of these ladies are you involved with?",Fry,Uh...
Fry,Uh...,Kif,"Captain, may I have a word with you?"
Kif,"Captain, may I have a word with you?",Zapp,No.
Zapp,No.,Kif,"It's an emergency, sir."
Kif,"It's an emergency, sir.",Zapp,"Oh, very well."
Zapp,"Oh, very well.",Amy,"Well, with Zapp gone and my parents still here, I suggest Fry give me a nice, convincing kiss."
Amy,"Well, with Zapp gone and my parents still here, I suggest Fry give me a nice, convincing kiss.",Fry,"Ah, now there's something we can all enjoy."
Fry,"Ah, now there's something we can all enjoy.",Kif,"Sir, remember your course correction?"
Kif,"Sir, remember your course correction?",Zapp,No.
Zapp,No.,Kif,than we'd initially hoped.
Kif,than we'd initially hoped.,Zapp,"Kif, old friend, I don't know which disgusts me more: Your cowardice or your stupidity! We'll simply set a new course for that empty region over there. Near that black-ish hole-ish thing."
Zapp,"Kif, old friend, I don't know which disgusts me more: Your cowardice or your stupidity! We'll simply set a new course for that empty region over there. Near that black-ish hole-ish thing.",Fry,"Hey, Leela, why'd you run off from dinner?"
Fry,"Hey, Leela, why'd you run off from dinner?",Leela,I didn't run off. I had plenty of time to finish eating and stroll away while you were kissing Amy.
Leela,I didn't run off. I had plenty of time to finish eating and stroll away while you were kissing Amy.,Fry,"Oh, look, I'm not actually interested in her if that's what's bothering you."
Fry,"Oh, look, I'm not actually interested in her if that's what's bothering you.",Leela,"Oh, are you sure? I mean, she has two eyes, you have two eyes."
Leela,"Oh, are you sure? I mean, she has two eyes, you have two eyes.",Fry,"I know, we seem like a perfect match, but I just don't feel that way about her."
Fry,"I know, we seem like a perfect match, but I just don't feel that way about her.",Leela,Nice nebula.
Leela,Nice nebula.,Fry,Yeah.
Fry,Yeah.,Leela,Look's like everybody's got somebody. Except me.
Leela,Look's like everybody's got somebody. Except me.,Fry,And me.
Fry,And me.,Leela,"Oh, my God! We're heading straight into a black hole."
Leela,"Oh, my God! We're heading straight into a black hole.",Fry,Talk about a mood killer!
Fry,Talk about a mood killer!,Zapp,"Don't blame yourself, Kif. We were doomed from the start. Nothing remains now but for the captain to go down with his ship."
Zapp,"Don't blame yourself, Kif. We were doomed from the start. Nothing remains now but for the captain to go down with his ship.",Kif,"Why, that's surprisingly noble of you, sir."
Kif,"Why, that's surprisingly noble of you, sir.",Zapp,"in command. Congratulations, captain!"
Zapp,"in command. Congratulations, captain!",Leela,OK. We just have to get from here to the escape pods.
Leela,OK. We just have to get from here to the escape pods.,Farnsworth,I'm too young to die!
Farnsworth,I'm too young to die!,Leela,"Come on, before it's too late!"
Leela,"Come on, before it's too late!",Bender,"You all go without me. I'm gonna take one last look around. You know, for, uh, stuff to steal."
Bender,"You all go without me. I'm gonna take one last look around. You know, for, uh, stuff to steal.",Fry,"You're going back or the Countess, aren't you?"
Fry,"You're going back or the Countess, aren't you?",Bender,"Alright, I am. But I don't want the others to know. If I don't come back, just say I died robbing some old man."
Bender,"Alright, I am. But I don't want the others to know. If I don't come back, just say I died robbing some old man.",Fry,"I'll tell them you went out prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger."
Fry,"I'll tell them you went out prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger.",Bender,"I love you, buddy!"
Bender,"I love you, buddy!",Bender,Countess? Countess?
Bender,Countess? Countess?,Countess,Bender!
Countess,Bender!,Countess,I fell through the deck.
Countess,I fell through the deck.,Bender,"Are you hurt, my sweet?"
Bender,"Are you hurt, my sweet?",Countess,No. Luckily a family broke my fall.
Countess,No. Luckily a family broke my fall.,Bender,Just hang on! I'll take care of that fire!
Bender,Just hang on! I'll take care of that fire!,Countess,"Bender, you risked your life to save me."
Countess,"Bender, you risked your life to save me.",Bender,"When we kiss, I feel like I'm standing waist-deep in a pool of cold, rising water."
Bender,"When we kiss, I feel like I'm standing waist-deep in a pool of cold, rising water.",Leela,Hurry! The escape pods should be just ahead!
Leela,Hurry! The escape pods should be just ahead!,Hermes,Faster!
Hermes,Faster!,Leela,It won't move. And the door release is on the other side.
Leela,It won't move. And the door release is on the other side.,Fry,Then we're dead meat. No one could squeeze under there!
Fry,Then we're dead meat. No one could squeeze under there!,Hermes,"No one, except a legendary limbo champion."
Hermes,"No one, except a legendary limbo champion.",LaBarbara,"Oh, Hermes!"
LaBarbara,"Oh, Hermes!",Hermes,This one is for that little kid who's limbo-ing up in heaven right now.
Hermes,This one is for that little kid who's limbo-ing up in heaven right now.,LaBarbara,"That's my man, alright, baby, limbo!"
LaBarbara,"That's my man, alright, baby, limbo!",Hermes,"I still got the moves! Zoidberg, lower the door another inch."
Hermes,"I still got the moves! Zoidberg, lower the door another inch.",LaBarbara,"Just go on through and hit the release, you hot dog!"
LaBarbara,"Just go on through and hit the release, you hot dog!",Hermes,"Yes, dear."
Hermes,"Yes, dear.",LaBarbara,That's my man!
LaBarbara,That's my man!,Amy,"Yay, Hermes!"
Amy,"Yay, Hermes!",Hermes,"Uh, can somebody help me up?"
Hermes,"Uh, can somebody help me up?",Countess,"Well, now what are we going to do?"
Countess,"Well, now what are we going to do?",Bender,Wait a second. Aren't you a member of the yacht club?
Bender,Wait a second. Aren't you a member of the yacht club?,Countess,"By God, you're right! I'm a class-3 yacht."
Countess,"By God, you're right! I'm a class-3 yacht.",Farnsworth,Thank God there are plenty of escape pods. We won't have to dress up like women and children.
Farnsworth,Thank God there are plenty of escape pods. We won't have to dress up like women and children.,Leela,We can't leave yet. We've got to wait for Bender. The high gravity must be slowing down his looting.
Leela,We can't leave yet. We've got to wait for Bender. The high gravity must be slowing down his looting.,Mrs.,Wong: Amy!
Mrs.,Wong: Amy!,Amy,Mom? Dad? You're alive!
Amy,Mom? Dad? You're alive!,Mr.,"Wong: Yeah, but so what? The important thing is we found you a new man."
Mr.,"Wong: Yeah, but so what? The important thing is we found you a new man.",Mrs.,Wong: A captain.
Mrs.,Wong: A captain.,Amy,Hi!
Amy,Hi!,Kif,Hello!
Kif,Hello!,Farnsworth,I don't feel well!
Farnsworth,I don't feel well!,Fry,Never mind!
Fry,Never mind!,Hermes,Everyone else is off the ship. Where in Babylon is Bender?
Hermes,Everyone else is off the ship. Where in Babylon is Bender?,Leela,I don't know. But we can't wait any longer.
Leela,I don't know. But we can't wait any longer.,Fry,"Goodbye, Bender."
Fry,"Goodbye, Bender.",Bender,Wait for us!
Bender,Wait for us!,Leela,Something's wrong. We're two metric tons overweight.
Leela,Something's wrong. We're two metric tons overweight.,Amy,"Well, it's not me!"
Amy,"Well, it's not me!",Fry,Look!
Fry,Look!,Countess,"I'm slipping, Bender. The pull is too strong!"
Countess,"I'm slipping, Bender. The pull is too strong!",Bender,"I can't live without you. If you let go, I let go!"
Bender,"I can't live without you. If you let go, I let go!",Countess,"No! You have too much to live for. It may hurt for a while but one day you'll share your love again. After all, it's shareware."
Countess,"No! You have too much to live for. It may hurt for a while but one day you'll share your love again. After all, it's shareware.",Bender,Don't talk like that. Tragic romances always have a happy ending.
Bender,Don't talk like that. Tragic romances always have a happy ending.,Countess,Farewell!
Countess,Farewell!,Bender,No!
Bender,No!,Bender,She's gone.
Bender,She's gone.,Leela,"But she saved all our lives. Without her, we're light enough to get away."
Leela,"But she saved all our lives. Without her, we're light enough to get away.",Fry,"Don't cry, Bender. Nobody really knows what happens in a black hole. It's possible she's still alive in another dimension somewhere. Right, Professor?"
Fry,"Don't cry, Bender. Nobody really knows what happens in a black hole. It's possible she's still alive in another dimension somewhere. Right, Professor?",Farnsworth,Not a chance!
Farnsworth,Not a chance!,Bender,What do you think it's worth?
Bender,What do you think it's worth?,Hermes,"It's fake, mon!"
Hermes,"It's fake, mon!",Farnsworth,We've got a very special delivery today.
Farnsworth,We've got a very special delivery today.,Fry,Who's it going to?
Fry,Who's it going to?,Farnsworth,Me.
Farnsworth,Me.,Bender,Another job well done.
Bender,Another job well done.,Farnsworth,It's a little experiment that may well win me the Nobel Prize.
Farnsworth,It's a little experiment that may well win me the Nobel Prize.,Leela,In what field?
Leela,In what field?,Farnsworth,"I don't care, they all pay the same."
Farnsworth,"I don't care, they all pay the same.",Fry,Is it dangerous?
Fry,Is it dangerous?,Farnsworth,Off we go!
Farnsworth,Off we go!,Fry,Very impressive. Back in the 20th century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.
Fry,Very impressive. Back in the 20th century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.,Farnsworthlike,"Utah, it was eventually made livable, when the university was founded in 2636."
Farnsworthlike,"Utah, it was eventually made livable, when the university was founded in 2636.",Leela,"They planted traditional college foliage; ivy, trees, hemp. Soon the whole planet was terraformed."
Leela,"They planted traditional college foliage; ivy, trees, hemp. Soon the whole planet was terraformed.",Fry,Does that mean it's safe to breathe the air?
Fry,Does that mean it's safe to breathe the air?,Farnsworth,Of course.
Farnsworth,Of course.,Farnsworth,Over here is Wong Library. It has the largest collection of literature in the Western Universe.
Farnsworth,Over here is Wong Library. It has the largest collection of literature in the Western Universe.,Bender,"Hey, look! There's a chapter of my old robot fraternity, Epsilon Rho Rho."
Bender,"Hey, look! There's a chapter of my old robot fraternity, Epsilon Rho Rho.",Leela,went to college?
Leela,went to college?,Bender,"Of course. I'm a bender, I went to Bending College. I majored in Bending."
Bender,"Of course. I'm a bender, I went to Bending College. I majored in Bending.",Fry,What was your minor?
Fry,What was your minor?,Bender,Robo-American Studies.
Bender,Robo-American Studies.,Fratbot,#1: Are you here to fumigate the moose head?
Fratbot,#1: Are you here to fumigate the moose head?,Bender,"Uh, no, actually I'm an Epsilon from way back."
Bender,"Uh, no, actually I'm an Epsilon from way back.",Fratbot,"#1: Eh, close enough. C'mon in."
Fratbot,"#1: Eh, close enough. C'mon in.",Bender,Thanks. Here's your finger back.
Bender,Thanks. Here's your finger back.,Bender,All the coolest robots are in this fraternity.
Bender,All the coolest robots are in this fraternity.,Fratbot,#2: Mate in 143 moves.
Fratbot,#2: Mate in 143 moves.,Fratbot,"#3: Oh, pooh. You win again!"
Fratbot,"#3: Oh, pooh. You win again!",Bender,"Uh-oh, nerds!"
Bender,"Uh-oh, nerds!",Fratbot,"#1: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Gearshift, chapter president. This is Oily, and this here is Fat-bot."
Fratbot,"#1: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Gearshift, chapter president. This is Oily, and this here is Fat-bot.",Bender,You're all losers. My name's Bender.
Bender,You're all losers. My name's Bender.,Oily?,"Wow, you're a legend around here!"
Oily?,"Wow, you're a legend around here!",Fat-bot,"I heard that in one single night you drank a whole keg, streaked across campus and crammed 58 humans into a phone booth."
Fat-bot,"I heard that in one single night you drank a whole keg, streaked across campus and crammed 58 humans into a phone booth.",Bender,"Yeah, well, a lot of 'em were children. Anyway I should get going."
Bender,"Yeah, well, a lot of 'em were children. Anyway I should get going.",Gearshift,"No, Bender, wait. We're the lamest frat on campus. Even Hillel has better parties than us. Please, you've gotta stay and teach us how to be cool."
Gearshift,"No, Bender, wait. We're the lamest frat on campus. Even Hillel has better parties than us. Please, you've gotta stay and teach us how to be cool.",Bender,and a regulation two-storey panty-raid ladder.
Bender,and a regulation two-storey panty-raid ladder.,Fat-bot,"Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!"
Fat-bot,"Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!",Fry,"I tell you, being here really takes me back to my college days."
Fry,"I tell you, being here really takes me back to my college days.",Man,#1: Step right up. Who wants to learn physics?
Man,#1: Step right up. Who wants to learn physics?,Man,#2: Keep your hands inside the car at all times.
Man,#2: Keep your hands inside the car at all times.,Fry,"Good old Coney Island College! Go, Whitefish!"
Fry,"Good old Coney Island College! Go, Whitefish!",Leela,"Don't take this the wrong way, Fry, but you don't seem like the educated type."
Leela,"Don't take this the wrong way, Fry, but you don't seem like the educated type.",Fry,Read it and weep. I'm a certified college dropout.
Fry,Read it and weep. I'm a certified college dropout.,Leela,Please! Everyone knows 20th century colleges were basically expensive daycare centres.
Leela,Please! Everyone knows 20th century colleges were basically expensive daycare centres.,Farnsworth,"That's true. By current academic standards, you're merely a high school dropout."
Farnsworth,"That's true. By current academic standards, you're merely a high school dropout.",Fry,"What? That's not fair. I deserve the same respect any other college dropout gets. By God, I'm gonna enroll here at Mars University and drop out all over again!"
Fry,"What? That's not fair. I deserve the same respect any other college dropout gets. By God, I'm gonna enroll here at Mars University and drop out all over again!",Leela,You won't last two weeks.
Leela,You won't last two weeks.,Fry,"Aww, thanks for believing in me."
Fry,"Aww, thanks for believing in me.",Amy,"Yo, classmate. What you takin'?"
Amy,"Yo, classmate. What you takin'?",Fry,"Hey, Professor, what are you teaching this semester?"
Fry,"Hey, Professor, what are you teaching this semester?",Farnsworth,Same thing I teach every semester: The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. I made up the title so that no student would dare take it.
Farnsworth,Same thing I teach every semester: The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. I made up the title so that no student would dare take it.,Fry,I'll be there!
Fry,I'll be there!,Farnsworth,"Please, Fry, I don't know how to teach; I'm a professor!"
Farnsworth,"Please, Fry, I don't know how to teach; I'm a professor!",Fry,See you in class!
Fry,See you in class!,Farnsworth,Oh!
Farnsworth,Oh!,Fat-bot,This is gonna be great!
Fat-bot,This is gonna be great!,Bender,Bingo!
Bender,Bingo!,Fat-bot,"Oh, mama!"
Fat-bot,"Oh, mama!",Bender,Get a load of that!
Bender,Get a load of that!,Meiderneyer,"I say, you've damaged our servants' quarters ... and our servants."
Meiderneyer,"I say, you've damaged our servants' quarters ... and our servants.",Chet,This time Robot House has gone too far.
Chet,This time Robot House has gone too far.,Bender,Cheese it!
Bender,Cheese it!,Fat-bot,They're gonna catch us!
Fat-bot,They're gonna catch us!,Fry,A woodpecker.
Fry,A woodpecker.,Leela,I think that's probably your roommate.
Leela,I think that's probably your roommate.,Fry,What the--?
Fry,What the--?,Monkey,I call top bunk!
Monkey,I call top bunk!,Fry,My roommate's a monkey?
Fry,My roommate's a monkey?,Monkey,"Brilliant deduction, you're a credit to your species."
Monkey,"Brilliant deduction, you're a credit to your species.",Farnsworth,"Ah, Fry, I see you've met Guenter!"
Farnsworth,"Ah, Fry, I see you've met Guenter!",Fry,You know each other?
Fry,You know each other?,Farnsworth,Guenter is my experiment. He was the top secret contents of this stinking crate.
Farnsworth,Guenter is my experiment. He was the top secret contents of this stinking crate.,Guenter,than share a room with this dork.
Guenter,than share a room with this dork.,Leela,So what makes Guenter talk?
Leela,So what makes Guenter talk?,Fry,Is he genetically engineered?
Fry,Is he genetically engineered?,Farnsworth,to produce cognitive radiation.
Farnsworth,to produce cognitive radiation.,Guenter,"You're wasting your breath, Professor. He'll never understand a word of it."
Guenter,"You're wasting your breath, Professor. He'll never understand a word of it.",Farnsworth,"Please, stop bickering. I arranged that you be roommates for a reason: So I'd only have to remember one phone number. Now shake hands and make up."
Farnsworth,"Please, stop bickering. I arranged that you be roommates for a reason: So I'd only have to remember one phone number. Now shake hands and make up.",Fry,You want a banana?
Fry,You want a banana?,Guenter,I don't eat bananas. I prefer banana-flavoured energy bars made from tofu.
Guenter,I don't eat bananas. I prefer banana-flavoured energy bars made from tofu.,Fry,I don't like you.
Fry,I don't like you.,Fry,This is gonna be a cakewalk!
Fry,This is gonna be a cakewalk!,Teacher,"Welcome to the history of the 20th century. Look to your left, then to your right. Then in nine other directions. One of the 12 of you will not pass this class."
Teacher,"Welcome to the history of the 20th century. Look to your left, then to your right. Then in nine other directions. One of the 12 of you will not pass this class.",Amy,Let's hear about Walter Mondale already!
Amy,Let's hear about Walter Mondale already!,Teacher,Be forewarned: The only sure way to get an A in this class is to have lived in the 20th century.
Teacher,Be forewarned: The only sure way to get an A in this class is to have lived in the 20th century.,Fry,Swish!
Fry,Swish!,Teacher,"You were saying, Mr. Fry?"
Teacher,"You were saying, Mr. Fry?",Fry,"I'm from the 20th century. Go ahead, ask me anything."
Fry,"I'm from the 20th century. Go ahead, ask me anything.",Teacher,Very well. What device invented in the 20th century allowed people to view broadcast programmes in their own homes?
Teacher,Very well. What device invented in the 20th century allowed people to view broadcast programmes in their own homes?,Fry,Ooh ... I know this ... whatyya call it? Lite Brite!
Fry,Ooh ... I know this ... whatyya call it? Lite Brite!,Guenter,I believe the answer is the television.
Guenter,I believe the answer is the television.,Teacher,... Guenter.
Teacher,... Guenter.,Amy,cute!
Amy,cute!,Vernon,Now what's all this about?
Vernon,Now what's all this about?,Woman,"Dean Vernon, the students from Robot House are here."
Woman,"Dean Vernon, the students from Robot House are here.",Vernon,Robot House!
Vernon,Robot House!,Bender,"Hey, dean, nice looking model."
Bender,"Hey, dean, nice looking model.",Vernon,"You keep away from it. You robots are a disgrace to this university. Whenever a fire alarm is pulled, it's Robot House. Whenever the campus liquor store is looted, Robot House. Whenever a human corpse is desecrated--"
Vernon,"You keep away from it. You robots are a disgrace to this university. Whenever a fire alarm is pulled, it's Robot House. Whenever the campus liquor store is looted, Robot House. Whenever a human corpse is desecrated--",Bender,"Now, I can explain that."
Bender,"Now, I can explain that.",Vernon,"That's enough out of you. From this day forth, Robot House is on dodecatupple-secret probation!"
Vernon,"That's enough out of you. From this day forth, Robot House is on dodecatupple-secret probation!",Bender,No fair!
Bender,No fair!,Fat-bot,My mom is gonna kill me!
Fat-bot,My mom is gonna kill me!,Vernon,"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to the one thing that's kept me sane these past eight years: My model ship."
Vernon,"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to the one thing that's kept me sane these past eight years: My model ship.",Gearshift,Fat-bot! No!
Gearshift,Fat-bot! No!,Fat-bot,When I get nervous I get hungry.
Fat-bot,When I get nervous I get hungry.,Bender,Cheese it!
Bender,Cheese it!,Vernon,Robot House!
Vernon,Robot House!,Fry,"So, Chrissy, we seem to be hitting it off. If you're not doing anything later might I escort you to a kegger?"
Fry,"So, Chrissy, we seem to be hitting it off. If you're not doing anything later might I escort you to a kegger?",Chrissy,Not even if you were the last man on Mars.
Chrissy,Not even if you were the last man on Mars.,Guenter,Hey! You like bananas?
Guenter,Hey! You like bananas?,Guenter,I got her number. How do you like them bananas?
Guenter,I got her number. How do you like them bananas?,Farnsworth,"And therefore, by process of elimination, the electron must taste like grapeade."
Farnsworth,"And therefore, by process of elimination, the electron must taste like grapeade.",Fry,"Sorry, I overslept."
Fry,"Sorry, I overslept.",Farnsworth,Until 5pm?
Farnsworth,Until 5pm?,Fry,It's that obnoxious monkey. He kept me up all night with his constant thinking. Just thinking and thinking. He's trying to make me look like an idiot.
Fry,It's that obnoxious monkey. He kept me up all night with his constant thinking. Just thinking and thinking. He's trying to make me look like an idiot.,Farnsworth,"Don't be jealous. Without his special hat, Guenter might be no more intelligent than you."
Farnsworth,"Don't be jealous. Without his special hat, Guenter might be no more intelligent than you.",Fry,I hate that rodent!
Fry,I hate that rodent!,Fry,That'll show him.
Fry,That'll show him.,Amy,"Dean Vernon, I'd like you to meet my parents, Leo and Inez."
Amy,"Dean Vernon, I'd like you to meet my parents, Leo and Inez.",Mr.,Wong: How much more for Phi Beta Kappa?
Mr.,Wong: How much more for Phi Beta Kappa?,Vernon,How much you got?
Vernon,How much you got?,Guenter,"Sorry I'm late, I was off at a study session ... with Chrissy!"
Guenter,"Sorry I'm late, I was off at a study session ... with Chrissy!",Farnsworth,"Oh, I'm glad you made it, Guenter because in honour of parents weekend I have a special surprise for you."
Farnsworth,"Oh, I'm glad you made it, Guenter because in honour of parents weekend I have a special surprise for you.",Guenter,This is so humiliating.
Guenter,This is so humiliating.,Fry,What's that? You wanna come out?
Fry,What's that? You wanna come out?,Guenter,No! Stop!
Guenter,No! Stop!,Chet,I say.
Chet,I say.,Farnsworth,What's that they're flinging at us?
Farnsworth,What's that they're flinging at us?,Guenter,"Oh, dear Lord! All over the dean!"
Guenter,"Oh, dear Lord! All over the dean!",Fry,"Hey, uh, Guenter? Why don't you get up on the chandelier with your parents and I'll take a picture?"
Fry,"Hey, uh, Guenter? Why don't you get up on the chandelier with your parents and I'll take a picture?",Bender,"Well, looks like the party's winding down. Let's take a road trip to Tijuana and get Fat-bot some action."
Bender,"Well, looks like the party's winding down. Let's take a road trip to Tijuana and get Fat-bot some action.",Fat-bot,"It's my first time, I'm really nervous."
Fat-bot,"It's my first time, I'm really nervous.",Vernon,Robot House!
Vernon,Robot House!,Leela,animal was today.
Leela,animal was today.,Fry,You mean peer pressure?
Fry,You mean peer pressure?,Fry,Look out! He's got a gun!
Fry,Look out! He's got a gun!,Guenter,Leave me alone.
Guenter,Leave me alone.,Leela,"Hey, what's going on? I thought you didn't like bananas."
Leela,"Hey, what's going on? I thought you didn't like bananas.",Guenter,Of course I do. I try so hard to fit in but seeing my parents act like that made me realise I'm just a primitive beast.
Guenter,Of course I do. I try so hard to fit in but seeing my parents act like that made me realise I'm just a primitive beast.,Fry,"Hey, hey, cheer up. Not everyone turns out like their parents. I mean, look at me. My folks were honest, hard-working people."
Fry,"Hey, hey, cheer up. Not everyone turns out like their parents. I mean, look at me. My folks were honest, hard-working people.",Leela,"Besides, Guenter, you're not like other monkeys. You've got the hat."
Leela,"Besides, Guenter, you're not like other monkeys. You've got the hat.",Guenter,"So what? I mean, sure, it looks cool and it makes me smart but it doesn't make me happy."
Guenter,"So what? I mean, sure, it looks cool and it makes me smart but it doesn't make me happy.",Leela,That's so sad. I didn't even know monkeys could cry.
Leela,That's so sad. I didn't even know monkeys could cry.,Guenter,They can't. It's all the hat.
Guenter,They can't. It's all the hat.,Fry,"Look, Guenter, if you're so miserable here, maybe you should just go back to the jungle."
Fry,"Look, Guenter, if you're so miserable here, maybe you should just go back to the jungle.",Guenter,"The jungle. But I couldn't do that to the Professor. I'm his prize experiment, and he's like a father to me."
Guenter,"The jungle. But I couldn't do that to the Professor. I'm his prize experiment, and he's like a father to me.",Leela,But he's not your father. That guy in the punch bowl was your father.
Leela,But he's not your father. That guy in the punch bowl was your father.,Farnsworth,Look at him. I'm so proud.
Farnsworth,Look at him. I'm so proud.,Fry,"Thanks, Professor!"
Fry,"Thanks, Professor!",Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Student,Hey!
Student,Hey!,Farnsworth?,Why didn't I break his legs?
Farnsworth?,Why didn't I break his legs?,Farnsworth,"Oh, poor Guenter."
Farnsworth,"Oh, poor Guenter.",Leela,So he just ran away in the middle of the exam?
Leela,So he just ran away in the middle of the exam?,Farnsworth,I'm afraid so. All he handed in was a paper smeared with faeces. He tied with Fry.
Farnsworth,I'm afraid so. All he handed in was a paper smeared with faeces. He tied with Fry.,Fry,I guess he realised I was right when I told him to go back to the jungle.
Fry,I guess he realised I was right when I told him to go back to the jungle.,Farnsworth,slaving over a hot monkey brain?
Farnsworth,slaving over a hot monkey brain?,Fry,entertainment!
Fry,entertainment!,Farnsworth,"But Guenter's obviously better off being intelligent. Tell him, Leela."
Farnsworth,"But Guenter's obviously better off being intelligent. Tell him, Leela.",Leela,"Nuh-uh, I'm staying out of this. Now here's my opinion: What we should do is..."
Leela,"Nuh-uh, I'm staying out of this. Now here's my opinion: What we should do is...",Farnsworth,What?
Farnsworth,What?,Leela,I said we'll go to the jungle and let Guenter decide once and for all.
Leela,I said we'll go to the jungle and let Guenter decide once and for all.,Farnsworth,What?
Farnsworth,What?,"Vernon,",it will be lifted and I will be forced to serve as Grand Marshal of a parade honouring them.
"Vernon,",it will be lifted and I will be forced to serve as Grand Marshal of a parade honouring them.,Chet,"I say, Robot House, your water craft is as ill-designed as you yourselves."
Chet,"I say, Robot House, your water craft is as ill-designed as you yourselves.",Meiderneyer,"Good one, Chet!"
Meiderneyer,"Good one, Chet!",Bender,"Oh, yeah? Watch this!"
Bender,"Oh, yeah? Watch this!",Chet,"Well, I never!"
Chet,"Well, I never!",Vernon,"Fraternities, on your marks."
Vernon,"Fraternities, on your marks.",Bender,Hey!
Bender,Hey!,Fry,Wow! The jungles on Mars look just like the jungles on Earth.
Fry,Wow! The jungles on Mars look just like the jungles on Earth.,Farnsworth,Jungles? On Earth?
Farnsworth,Jungles? On Earth?,Leela,I see some movement up there. I think it's him.
Leela,I see some movement up there. I think it's him.,Farnsworth,Stand back.
Farnsworth,Stand back.,Leela,Oops.
Leela,Oops.,Farnsworth,Don't worry. They'll be fine once the tranquiliser wears off.
Farnsworth,Don't worry. They'll be fine once the tranquiliser wears off.,Fry,There's our man!
Fry,There's our man!,Leela,We'll let him choose whether he wants to be intelligent or just a mindless animal.
Leela,We'll let him choose whether he wants to be intelligent or just a mindless animal.,Farnsworth,"Come on, Guenter, take the hat."
Farnsworth,"Come on, Guenter, take the hat.",Fry,"No, the banana, the banana!"
Fry,"No, the banana, the banana!",Farnsworth,Consider the philosophical and metaphysical ramifications of the--
Farnsworth,Consider the philosophical and metaphysical ramifications of the--,Fry,"Banana, banana, banana!"
Fry,"Banana, banana, banana!",Leela,"Wait, what's that sound?"
Leela,"Wait, what's that sound?",Gearshift,"Hey, Bender, you sure this is a short-cut?"
Gearshift,"Hey, Bender, you sure this is a short-cut?",Bender,Not as sure as I was an hour ago!
Bender,Not as sure as I was an hour ago!,Farnsworth,"Oh, dear Lord!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, dear Lord!",Leela,No! No!
Leela,No! No!,Farnsworth,Stupid monkey.
Farnsworth,Stupid monkey.,Fry,No.
Fry,No.,Leela,Not there.
Leela,Not there.,Farnsworth,Keep trying.
Farnsworth,Keep trying.,Guenter,Eureka! The hat goes on the head. It's all so obvious now!
Guenter,Eureka! The hat goes on the head. It's all so obvious now!,Leela,"Help us, Guenter!"
Leela,"Help us, Guenter!",Guenter,Grab on!
Guenter,Grab on!,Farnsworth,We're saved!
Farnsworth,We're saved!,Fry,"'Preciate it, Guenter!"
Fry,"'Preciate it, Guenter!",Leela,"Oh, no! Hurry, Guenter, climb up the vine. You can still save yourself."
Leela,"Oh, no! Hurry, Guenter, climb up the vine. You can still save yourself.",Guenter,"Although, on the other hand--"
Guenter,"Although, on the other hand--",Farnsworth,"Oh, that poor, sweet monkey. Well, let's go gather him up. There's no sense letting him go to waste."
Farnsworth,"Oh, that poor, sweet monkey. Well, let's go gather him up. There's no sense letting him go to waste.",Fry,Guenter! You're alive!
Fry,Guenter! You're alive!,Guenter,I guess the hat must have broke my fall.
Guenter,I guess the hat must have broke my fall.,Farnsworth,"It seems to be working at only half-capacity, but I can fix it."
Farnsworth,"It seems to be working at only half-capacity, but I can fix it.",Guenter,"No, wait! I like it like this. I actually feel sort of happy."
Guenter,"No, wait! I like it like this. I actually feel sort of happy.",Farnsworth,But what about your super-intelligence?
Farnsworth,But what about your super-intelligence?,Guenter,When I had that there was too much pressure to use it. All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to business school!
Guenter,When I had that there was too much pressure to use it. All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to business school!,Farnsworth,Nooo!
Farnsworth,Nooo!,Bender,"Come on, everyone! Big party in Robot House!"
Bender,"Come on, everyone! Big party in Robot House!",Fry,"Pizza delivery! Wow, so this is a real TV station, huh?"
Fry,"Pizza delivery! Wow, so this is a real TV station, huh?",Technician,"Well, it's a Fox affiliate."
Technician,"Well, it's a Fox affiliate.",Fry,What are you showing right now?
Fry,What are you showing right now?,Technician.,It's the season finale. Wanna watch?
Technician.,It's the season finale. Wanna watch?,Fry,"Ah, I dunno. That's a chick show. I prefer programmes of the genre world's blankiest blank."
Fry,"Ah, I dunno. That's a chick show. I prefer programmes of the genre world's blankiest blank.",Technician,She is wearing the world's shortiest skirt.
Technician,She is wearing the world's shortiest skirt.,Fry,I'm in!
Fry,I'm in!,Judge,"Counselor, I remind you that it's unethical to sleep with your client. If you really care about the outcome of the case, you should sleep with me."
Judge,"Counselor, I remind you that it's unethical to sleep with your client. If you really care about the outcome of the case, you should sleep with me.",Single,"Female Lawyer: Your Honour, it's bad enough to proposition a single female lawyer in court, but this is a unisex bathroom."
Single,"Female Lawyer: Your Honour, it's bad enough to proposition a single female lawyer in court, but this is a unisex bathroom.",Judge,"Overruled, counselor!"
Judge,"Overruled, counselor!",Stenographer,Could you repeat that last part?
Stenographer,Could you repeat that last part?,Technician,"Oh, my God! You've knocked Fox of the air!"
Technician,"Oh, my God! You've knocked Fox of the air!",Fry,Pft! Like anyone on Earth cares.
Fry,Pft! Like anyone on Earth cares.,Stenographer,Could you repeat that last par--
Stenographer,Could you repeat that last par--,Lrrr,This is an outrage! I demand to know what happened to the plucky lawyer and her compellingly short garment.
Lrrr,This is an outrage! I demand to know what happened to the plucky lawyer and her compellingly short garment.,Announcer,"Due to technical difficulties, we now bring you eight animated shows in a row."
Announcer,"Due to technical difficulties, we now bring you eight animated shows in a row.",Hermes,"What in the name of Bob Marley's ghost? Get to work, you lazy boat bag!"
Hermes,"What in the name of Bob Marley's ghost? Get to work, you lazy boat bag!",Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Fry,"Ow! Hey, quit it, Hermes. It's Labor Day."
Fry,"Ow! Hey, quit it, Hermes. It's Labor Day.",Hermes,Labor Day? That phoney-baloney holiday crammed down our throats by fat-cat union gangsters?
Hermes,Labor Day? That phoney-baloney holiday crammed down our throats by fat-cat union gangsters?,Fry,That's the one.
Fry,That's the one.,Hermes,"Hot damn, a day off!"
Hermes,"Hot damn, a day off!",Leela,Who's up for one last summer beach trip?
Leela,Who's up for one last summer beach trip?,Bender,"Aw, yeah!"
Bender,"Aw, yeah!",Hermes,"Ready, Freddy!"
Hermes,"Ready, Freddy!",Fry,"Eh, I think I'll just stay here."
Fry,"Eh, I think I'll just stay here.",Leela,"Fry, you're wasting your life sitting in front of that TV. You need to get out and see the real world."
Leela,"Fry, you're wasting your life sitting in front of that TV. You need to get out and see the real world.",Fry,But this is HDTV. It's got better resolution than the real world!
Fry,But this is HDTV. It's got better resolution than the real world!,Leela,with bed sores.
Leela,with bed sores.,Leela,Just get in the car.
Leela,Just get in the car.,Farnsworth,"Ah, here we are: Monument Beach!"
Farnsworth,"Ah, here we are: Monument Beach!",Fry,in New York!
Fry,in New York!,Leela,"They are now. In the 2600's, New Yorkers elected a super-villain governor, and he stole most of the world's monuments."
Leela,"They are now. In the 2600's, New Yorkers elected a super-villain governor, and he stole most of the world's monuments.",Bender,Truly a great man. Look at him up there.
Bender,Truly a great man. Look at him up there.,Hermes,Found you!
Hermes,Found you!,Bender,Nice knowin' you.
Bender,Nice knowin' you.,Farnsworth,"Come on, Zoidberg, I passed it right to you."
Farnsworth,"Come on, Zoidberg, I passed it right to you.",Zoidberg,I've had it with this game! I'm going for a scuttle!
Zoidberg,I've had it with this game! I'm going for a scuttle!,Bender,"OK, everyone, come and get it!"
Bender,"OK, everyone, come and get it!",Fry,"Ah, just like my dad used to make ... until McDonald's fired him."
Fry,"Ah, just like my dad used to make ... until McDonald's fired him.",Bender,"Aw, yeah!"
Bender,"Aw, yeah!",Amy,"Psst, Professor, I need another bikini."
Amy,"Psst, Professor, I need another bikini.",Farnsworth,"Oh, my."
Farnsworth,"Oh, my.",Amy,There. How do I look?
Amy,There. How do I look?,Farnsworth,Like a cheap French harlot.
Farnsworth,Like a cheap French harlot.,Bully,man?
Bully,man?,Leela,... handsome they are.
Leela,... handsome they are.,Fry,"It's OK, Leela, go ahead. I got a lot of work to do."
Fry,"It's OK, Leela, go ahead. I got a lot of work to do.",Bully,"Uh, sir, you don't understand. I'm a professional beach bully. I pretend to steal your girl, you punch me, I go down, she swoons, you slip me 50 bucks."
Bully,"Uh, sir, you don't understand. I'm a professional beach bully. I pretend to steal your girl, you punch me, I go down, she swoons, you slip me 50 bucks.",Fry,my girlfriend. You take her.
Fry,my girlfriend. You take her.,Leela,Fry! Although I suppose we could go for a walk along the beach.
Leela,Fry! Although I suppose we could go for a walk along the beach.,Bully,"Uh, no thanks, ma'am, I'm actually gay."
Bully,"Uh, no thanks, ma'am, I'm actually gay.",Zoidberg,"Bender, you gotta spring me. I'll never survive in here; I'm too pretty!"
Zoidberg,"Bender, you gotta spring me. I'll never survive in here; I'm too pretty!",Bender,Cheese it!
Bender,Cheese it!,Fry.,"The greatest sandcastle ever built. This is the kind of castle King Arthur would have lived in, if he were a fiddler crab."
Fry.,"The greatest sandcastle ever built. This is the kind of castle King Arthur would have lived in, if he were a fiddler crab.",Leela,It's very nice. We should get a picture before the tide comes in.
Leela,It's very nice. We should get a picture before the tide comes in.,Fry,"Ooh, yeah. Anyone have a camera?"
Fry,"Ooh, yeah. Anyone have a camera?",Bender,Pretend you're happy.
Bender,Pretend you're happy.,Zoidberg,Yay!
Zoidberg,Yay!,Leela,"Oh, my God!"
Leela,"Oh, my God!",Hermes,What in Babylon?
Hermes,What in Babylon?,Fry,Nooo!
Fry,Nooo!,Hermes,Faster!
Hermes,Faster!,Fry,"We're all gonna die, aren't we?"
Fry,"We're all gonna die, aren't we?",Farnsworth,"Oh, yes!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, yes!",Linda,"Once again, today's winning lotto number was 4. In other news, alien saucers continue to rain destruction upon Earth. We now go live to an emergency address by Earth President McNeal."
Linda,"Once again, today's winning lotto number was 4. In other news, alien saucers continue to rain destruction upon Earth. We now go live to an emergency address by Earth President McNeal.",McNeal,"Ladies and gentlemen, our course is clear. The time has come to knuckle under. To get down on all fours and really lick boot. Give our alien masters whatever they want a--"
McNeal,"Ladies and gentlemen, our course is clear. The time has come to knuckle under. To get down on all fours and really lick boot. Give our alien masters whatever they want a--",Lrrr,Now then: We want the one you call McNeal. Give us McNeal or we will lay waste to your cities with our anti-monument laser. We demand McNeal!
Lrrr,Now then: We want the one you call McNeal. Give us McNeal or we will lay waste to your cities with our anti-monument laser. We demand McNeal!,McNeal,"And now, the man who will lead us in our proud struggle for freedom, fresh from his bloody triumph over the pacifists of the Gandhi Nebula, 25-star General Zapp Brannigan!"
McNeal,"And now, the man who will lead us in our proud struggle for freedom, fresh from his bloody triumph over the pacifists of the Gandhi Nebula, 25-star General Zapp Brannigan!",Man,Yeah!
Man,Yeah!,Bender,"Hey, look, Leela, it's that idiotic windbag you slept with."
Bender,"Hey, look, Leela, it's that idiotic windbag you slept with.",Leela,is under attack. Can't we just forget about that?
Leela,is under attack. Can't we just forget about that?,Bender,Evidently not.
Bender,Evidently not.,Zapp,That's why I'm ordering every available ship to report for duty. Anyone without a ship should secure a weapon and fire wildly into the air.
Zapp,That's why I'm ordering every available ship to report for duty. Anyone without a ship should secure a weapon and fire wildly into the air.,Leela,"Well, you heard the windbag: We've been drafted. Everyone into the ship."
Leela,"Well, you heard the windbag: We've been drafted. Everyone into the ship.",Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I refuse to fight. I'm a conscientious objector."
Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I refuse to fight. I'm a conscientious objector.",Fry,A what?
Fry,A what?,Bender,"You know, a coward."
Bender,"You know, a coward.",Zapp,"Since this is an emergency, all robots will now have their patriotism circuits activated."
Zapp,"Since this is an emergency, all robots will now have their patriotism circuits activated.",Bender,"Oh, crap!"
Bender,"Oh, crap!",Zapp,"Am I right, soldier?"
Zapp,"Am I right, soldier?",Bender,"Sir, yes, sir! Sir!"
Bender,"Sir, yes, sir! Sir!",Zapp,"Remember, our mission is simple: Destroy all aliens!"
Zapp,"Remember, our mission is simple: Destroy all aliens!",Kif,"Um, uh, not me, sir."
Kif,"Um, uh, not me, sir.",Zapp,This is turning into one very sex-ay struggle for the future of the human race!
Zapp,This is turning into one very sex-ay struggle for the future of the human race!,Leela,"Thanks, but I'm not technically human."
Leela,"Thanks, but I'm not technically human.",Zapp,"Right, right. Nobody destroy Leela either."
Zapp,"Right, right. Nobody destroy Leela either.",Zapp,"The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well-made bed. You will practise until you can make your bed in your sleep."
Zapp,"The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well-made bed. You will practise until you can make your bed in your sleep.",Fry,You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
Fry,You mean while I'm sleeping in it?,Zapp,"You won't have time for sleeping, soldier. Not with all the bed-making you'll be doing."
Zapp,"You won't have time for sleeping, soldier. Not with all the bed-making you'll be doing.",Zapp,"Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it. On my command, all ships will line up and file directly into the alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage."
Zapp,"Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it. On my command, all ships will line up and file directly into the alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage.",Fry,W-Wouldn't it make more sense to send the robots in first a--
Fry,W-Wouldn't it make more sense to send the robots in first a--,Bender,"Aw, cut it out!"
Bender,"Aw, cut it out!",Zapp,"Leela, perhaps before we head into battle you'd like to make love to me, in case one of us doesn't come back."
Zapp,"Leela, perhaps before we head into battle you'd like to make love to me, in case one of us doesn't come back.",Leela,of us comes back.
Leela,of us comes back.,Zapp,Here's hoping.
Zapp,Here's hoping.,Fry,"I'm gonna be a science-fiction hero, just like Uhura, or Captain Janeway, or Xena!"
Fry,"I'm gonna be a science-fiction hero, just like Uhura, or Captain Janeway, or Xena!",Leela,"Fry, this isn't TV, it's real life. Can't you tell the difference?"
Leela,"Fry, this isn't TV, it's real life. Can't you tell the difference?",Fry,"Sure, I just like TV better."
Fry,"Sure, I just like TV better.",Leela,"Bender, damage report."
Leela,"Bender, damage report.",Bender,"The auxiliary power's out, and they spilled my cocktail."
Bender,"The auxiliary power's out, and they spilled my cocktail.",Fry,"Alright, scumwads. This one's for Bender's cocktail!"
Fry,"Alright, scumwads. This one's for Bender's cocktail!",Leela,We did it! We won!
Leela,We did it! We won!,Bender,"Well, who wants a martini?"
Bender,"Well, who wants a martini?",Zapp,"Good work, everyone. The mothership is destroyed."
Zapp,"Good work, everyone. The mothership is destroyed.",Zapp,What the hell is that thing?
Zapp,What the hell is that thing?,Kif,It appears to be the mothership.
Kif,It appears to be the mothership.,Zapp,Then what did we just blow up?
Zapp,Then what did we just blow up?,Kif,The Hubble Telescope.
Kif,The Hubble Telescope.,Zapp,"Stop exploding, you cowards!"
Zapp,"Stop exploding, you cowards!",Leela,"If we're gonna get blown to bits, we might as well do it in the comfort of our own home."
Leela,"If we're gonna get blown to bits, we might as well do it in the comfort of our own home.",Farnsworth,"Sorry, check back in three days, a week at the most."
Farnsworth,"Sorry, check back in three days, a week at the most.",Lrrr,We want McNeal! Stop stalling!
Lrrr,We want McNeal! Stop stalling!,Linda,And now a rebuttal from President McNeal.
Linda,And now a rebuttal from President McNeal.,McNeal,The people of Earth remain united in my refusal to hand over myself. Total annihilation is a small price to pay compared with--
McNeal,The people of Earth remain united in my refusal to hand over myself. Total annihilation is a small price to pay compared with--,Zapp,Here he is! Come and get him!
Zapp,Here he is! Come and get him!,Lrrr,You are not McNeal.
Lrrr,You are not McNeal.,Zapp,Huh?
Zapp,Huh?,McNeal,Huh?
McNeal,Huh?,Nd-Nd,You are not the one we want.
Nd-Nd,You are not the one we want.,McNeal,"Oh, thank you. Thank you, glorious masters! I--"
McNeal,"Oh, thank you. Thank you, glorious masters! I--",Lrrr,Give us McNeal!
Lrrr,Give us McNeal!,Zapp,McNeal.
Zapp,McNeal.,Nd-Nd,"No, McNeal, the single female lawyer."
Nd-Nd,"No, McNeal, the single female lawyer.",Lrrr,She wears miniskirts and is promiscuous.
Lrrr,She wears miniskirts and is promiscuous.,Zapp,Really?
Zapp,Really?,Fry,Miniskirts? That sounds familiar.
Fry,Miniskirts? That sounds familiar.,Lrrr,Surely you know McNeal. She is an unmarried human female struggling to succeed in a human male's world.
Lrrr,Surely you know McNeal. She is an unmarried human female struggling to succeed in a human male's world.,Zapp,Maybe that's just her excuse for being incompetent.
Zapp,Maybe that's just her excuse for being incompetent.,Lrrr,is the McNeal.
Lrrr,is the McNeal.,Fry,"Wait, I know her."
Fry,"Wait, I know her.",Leela,"You do not, you big fat liar. You don't know anyone. All you do is watch TV."
Leela,"You do not, you big fat liar. You don't know anyone. All you do is watch TV.",Lrrr,"We will raise your planet's temperature by one million degrees a day, for five days, unless we see McNeal at 9pm tomorrow -- 8 central!"
Lrrr,"We will raise your planet's temperature by one million degrees a day, for five days, unless we see McNeal at 9pm tomorrow -- 8 central!",Farnsworth,I'm beginning to think there'll be no forced mating at all.
Farnsworth,I'm beginning to think there'll be no forced mating at all.,Leela,They're going to destroy the entire Earth if they don't see some stupid TV show about some bimbo lawyer?
Leela,They're going to destroy the entire Earth if they don't see some stupid TV show about some bimbo lawyer?,Fry,It's crazy! How could they even know about a show from a thousand years ago?
Fry,It's crazy! How could they even know about a show from a thousand years ago?,Farnsworth,"Well, Omicron Persei 8 is about a thousand light years away. So the electro-magnetic waves would just recently have gotten there. You see--"
Farnsworth,"Well, Omicron Persei 8 is about a thousand light years away. So the electro-magnetic waves would just recently have gotten there. You see--",Fry,Magic. Got it.
Fry,Magic. Got it.,Amy,spilled Coke on the transmitter.
Amy,spilled Coke on the transmitter.,Fry,Beer-- I would think.
Fry,Beer-- I would think.,Bender,They must just wanna see that episode. Let's find a tape and give it to 'em.
Bender,They must just wanna see that episode. Let's find a tape and give it to 'em.,Amy,There aren't any copies left.
Amy,There aren't any copies left.,Farnsworth,"No, there wouldn't be. Most videotapes from that era were damaged in 2443 during the Second Coming of Jesus."
Farnsworth,"No, there wouldn't be. Most videotapes from that era were damaged in 2443 during the Second Coming of Jesus.",Fry,"Y'know, I saw the first 30 seconds of that episode. If I could make up an ending, maybe we could act it out ourselves."
Fry,"Y'know, I saw the first 30 seconds of that episode. If I could make up an ending, maybe we could act it out ourselves.",Zoidberg,I could make the costumes.
Zoidberg,I could make the costumes.,Farnsworth,I have an old five-megawatt broadcasting tower in the attic.
Farnsworth,I have an old five-megawatt broadcasting tower in the attic.,Bender,could be an acting coach!
Bender,could be an acting coach!,Fry,Let's put on a show.
Fry,Let's put on a show.,Fry,"OK, Leela, you'll be starring as Jenny--"
Fry,"OK, Leela, you'll be starring as Jenny--",Leela,"Uh-uh, forget it. A, I'm camera shy; and B, I get tongue tied in front of an audience armed with death rays."
Leela,"Uh-uh, forget it. A, I'm camera shy; and B, I get tongue tied in front of an audience armed with death rays.",Amy,"Plus, you don't really have the thighs for a miniskirt."
Amy,"Plus, you don't really have the thighs for a miniskirt.",Leela,Gimme the script.
Leela,Gimme the script.,Fry,"Places, everyone."
Fry,"Places, everyone.",Amy,OK ... all set!
Amy,OK ... all set!,Fry,Camera three!
Fry,Camera three!,Wearing,"sexy miniskirts,"
Wearing,"sexy miniskirts,",(talking),"Hey, I'm pretty good!"
(talking),"Hey, I'm pretty good!",Farnsworth,"... on account of your hot, naked affair with the foreman. How do you plead?"
Farnsworth,"... on account of your hot, naked affair with the foreman. How do you plead?",Leela,jury.
Leela,jury.,Hermes,during the recess!
Hermes,during the recess!,Lrrr,If McNeal wishes to be taken seriously why does she not simply tear the judge's head off?
Lrrr,If McNeal wishes to be taken seriously why does she not simply tear the judge's head off?,Nd-Nd,"It is true what they say; Women are from Omicron Persei 7, men are from Omicron Persei 9."
Nd-Nd,"It is true what they say; Women are from Omicron Persei 7, men are from Omicron Persei 9.",Farnsworth,"Your witness, Prosecutor Ramirez."
Farnsworth,"Your witness, Prosecutor Ramirez.",Zoidberg,"Single Female Lawyer, where were you on the night of August 23rd?"
Zoidberg,"Single Female Lawyer, where were you on the night of August 23rd?",Leela,Sleeping with you.
Leela,Sleeping with you.,Zoidberg,Aha!
Zoidberg,Aha!,Leela,"Fry, there's nothing else here. You only wrote two pages of dialogue."
Leela,"Fry, there's nothing else here. You only wrote two pages of dialogue.",Fry,"Well, it took an hour to write. I thought it would take an hour to read."
Fry,"Well, it took an hour to write. I thought it would take an hour to read.",Leela,What are we supposed to do now?
Leela,What are we supposed to do now?,Leela,Uh...
Leela,Uh...,Farnsworth,"What say you, Single Female Lawyer?"
Farnsworth,"What say you, Single Female Lawyer?",Leela,"I'm giving up being single. Your Honour, will you marry me?"
Leela,"I'm giving up being single. Your Honour, will you marry me?",Fry,"No, no! Go to commercial!"
Fry,"No, no! Go to commercial!",Bender,Bender's Discount Stereo.
Bender,Bender's Discount Stereo.,Fry?,Jenny can't get married.
Fry?,Jenny can't get married.,Leela,"Why not? It's clever, it's unexpected."
Leela,"Why not? It's clever, it's unexpected.",Fry,"why people watch TV. Clever things make people feel stupid, and unexpected things make them feel scared."
Fry,"why people watch TV. Clever things make people feel stupid, and unexpected things make them feel scared.",Lrrr,"female lawyer, and so shall you remain -- or else!"
Lrrr,"female lawyer, and so shall you remain -- or else!",Fry,You see? TV audiences don't want anything original. They wanna see the same thing they've seen a thousand times before.
Fry,You see? TV audiences don't want anything original. They wanna see the same thing they've seen a thousand times before.,Bender,"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Fry?"
Bender,"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Fry?",Fry,"Trust me on this. While other people were out living their lives, I wasted mine watching TV, because deep down I knew it might one day help me save the world. Plus, I would have lost my Workman's Comp if I had gone outside. Now just read these cue cards."
Fry,"Trust me on this. While other people were out living their lives, I wasted mine watching TV, because deep down I knew it might one day help me save the world. Plus, I would have lost my Workman's Comp if I had gone outside. Now just read these cue cards.",Fry,And action!
Fry,And action!,Farnsworth,"Miss McNeal, I'm afraid I must decline your offer of marriage. For, you see, I'm dying. Cough, then fall over dead."
Farnsworth,"Miss McNeal, I'm afraid I must decline your offer of marriage. For, you see, I'm dying. Cough, then fall over dead.",Zoidberg,"My God, he's dead."
Zoidberg,"My God, he's dead.",Leela,says.
Leela,says.,Hermes,We find the defendant vulnerable yet spunky!
Hermes,We find the defendant vulnerable yet spunky!,Zoidberg,Hooray!
Zoidberg,Hooray!,Amy,Hooray!
Amy,Hooray!,Fry,And ... cut!
Fry,And ... cut!,(talking),Huh?
(talking),Huh?,Lrrr,will we provide you with our recipe for immortality.
Lrrr,will we provide you with our recipe for immortality.,Lrrr,"And now we must return to our planet, to catch the end of a thousand-year-old Leno monologue."
Lrrr,"And now we must return to our planet, to catch the end of a thousand-year-old Leno monologue.",Bender,"You did it, Fry!"
Bender,"You did it, Fry!",Fry,"It was just a matter of knowing the secret of all TV shows: At the end of the episode, everything's always right back to normal."
Fry,"It was just a matter of knowing the secret of all TV shows: At the end of the episode, everything's always right back to normal.",Calculon,Monique!
Calculon,Monique!,Monique,Calculon!
Monique,Calculon!,Calculon,"Oh, how I wish I could believe that. You may be my evil half-brother, but there's no law against murdering the other half."
Calculon,"Oh, how I wish I could believe that. You may be my evil half-brother, but there's no law against murdering the other half.",Announcer,#1 will be right back after this word from...
Announcer,#1 will be right back after this word from...,Announcer,#2: Slurm! It's highly addictive!
Announcer,#2: Slurm! It's highly addictive!,Trixie,Look! It's Slurms MacKenzie!
Trixie,Look! It's Slurms MacKenzie!,Dixie,He's the original party worm!
Dixie,He's the original party worm!,Slurms,Whimmy-wham-wham-wazzle! Let's party!
Slurms,Whimmy-wham-wham-wazzle! Let's party!,Bender,Look at that worm go. Who says there are no more heroes?
Bender,Look at that worm go. Who says there are no more heroes?,Slurms,"Hey, dudes, you can win a chance to party with me, Slurms MacKenzie, at the Slurm bottling plant on planet Wormulon!"
Slurms,"Hey, dudes, you can win a chance to party with me, Slurms MacKenzie, at the Slurm bottling plant on planet Wormulon!",Announcer,#2: Just look for the winning bottle-cap inside specially-marked cans of Slurm.
Announcer,#2: Just look for the winning bottle-cap inside specially-marked cans of Slurm.,Trixie,I won!
Trixie,I won!,Announcer,#2: No purchase necessary unless you wish to enter the contest. Odds of winning mathematically insignificant.
Announcer,#2: No purchase necessary unless you wish to enter the contest. Odds of winning mathematically insignificant.,Fry,Rats. Just another tooth.
Fry,Rats. Just another tooth.,Fry,I gotta find that golden bottle-cap.
Fry,I gotta find that golden bottle-cap.,Leela,I've never seen anyone so addicted to Slurm.
Leela,I've never seen anyone so addicted to Slurm.,Fry,This is nothing. Back in high school I used to drink a hundred cans of cola a week. Right up until my third heart attack.
Fry,This is nothing. Back in high school I used to drink a hundred cans of cola a week. Right up until my third heart attack.,Leela,"Bender, what's wrong?"
Leela,"Bender, what's wrong?",Bender,I'm sick.
Bender,I'm sick.,Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Farnsworth,"According to Bender's temperature gauge, which I suggest you use next time, Leela, he's running a fever of ... 900 degrees."
Farnsworth,"According to Bender's temperature gauge, which I suggest you use next time, Leela, he's running a fever of ... 900 degrees.",Hermes,You're payin' for that!
Hermes,You're payin' for that!,Zoidberg,"I'll have a look, but I remind you, I'm an expert on humans not robots."
Zoidberg,"I'll have a look, but I remind you, I'm an expert on humans not robots.",Fry,"I'm not Bender, I'm Fry."
Fry,"I'm not Bender, I'm Fry.",Zoidberg,were the robot.
Zoidberg,were the robot.,Fry,Nope. Human.
Fry,Nope. Human.,Zoidberg,Now what seems to be the trouble?
Zoidberg,Now what seems to be the trouble?,Bender,My tummy hurts and I've been having this burning electrical discharge.
Bender,My tummy hurts and I've been having this burning electrical discharge.,Zoidberg,I didn't have the heart to tell him: It's fin fungus. He'll be floating upside-down by morning.
Zoidberg,I didn't have the heart to tell him: It's fin fungus. He'll be floating upside-down by morning.,Amy,"You should try homeopathic medicine, Bender. Take some zinc."
Amy,"You should try homeopathic medicine, Bender. Take some zinc.",Bender,I'm 40% zinc.
Bender,I'm 40% zinc.,Amy,Then take some Echinacea or a St. John's wort.
Amy,Then take some Echinacea or a St. John's wort.,Farnsworth,Or a big fat placebo. It's all the same crap.
Farnsworth,Or a big fat placebo. It's all the same crap.,Leela,"Hey, what's rattling around in there?"
Leela,"Hey, what's rattling around in there?",Farnsworth,"It may well be the cause of Bender's illness. But more importantly, it's a flimsy pretext to try out my latest invention. To the laboratory!"
Farnsworth,"It may well be the cause of Bender's illness. But more importantly, it's a flimsy pretext to try out my latest invention. To the laboratory!",Farnsworth,Aha! There's the cause of your illness.
Farnsworth,Aha! There's the cause of your illness.,Amy,"Hey, that's my watch!"
Amy,"Hey, that's my watch!",Bender,"Hey, now I feel much better! Thanks, Professor. And, Amy, I'm sorry I took your watch."
Bender,"Hey, now I feel much better! Thanks, Professor. And, Amy, I'm sorry I took your watch.",Farnsworth,let it fall into the wrong hands.
Farnsworth,let it fall into the wrong hands.,Bender,What should we point it at first?
Bender,What should we point it at first?,Fry,Ow! My sperm!
Fry,Ow! My sperm!,Bender,"Wow, neat! Mind if I try that again?"
Bender,"Wow, neat! Mind if I try that again?",Fry,"Huh, didn't hurt that time."
Fry,"Huh, didn't hurt that time.",Bender,"Whoa, mama! Hold still, sexy lady."
Bender,"Whoa, mama! Hold still, sexy lady.",Fry,What's wrong?
Fry,What's wrong?,Bender,That's no lady!
Bender,That's no lady!,Fembot,"Damn Chico! One more upgrade and I'll be more lady than you can handle! Why you so stupid, stupid?"
Fembot,"Damn Chico! One more upgrade and I'll be more lady than you can handle! Why you so stupid, stupid?",Bender,"Hey, bite my shiny metal ass!"
Bender,"Hey, bite my shiny metal ass!",Fembot,"You couldn't afford it, honey."
Fembot,"You couldn't afford it, honey.",Fry,"Ah, if only there was some way of knowing which can had the winning bottle-cap inside."
Fry,"Ah, if only there was some way of knowing which can had the winning bottle-cap inside.",Bender,"Huh, w-what? I didn't hear you. I was too busy using this F-ray to look inside of things."
Bender,"Huh, w-what? I didn't hear you. I was too busy using this F-ray to look inside of things.",Bender,"Ah, this thing stinks."
Bender,"Ah, this thing stinks.",Fry,"I never wanna see another can of Slurm again. Man, am I thirsty."
Fry,"I never wanna see another can of Slurm again. Man, am I thirsty.",Leela,"Fry, are you alright?"
Leela,"Fry, are you alright?",Bender,"You did it, Fry! You found the winning bottle-cap! We won!"
Bender,"You did it, Fry! You found the winning bottle-cap! We won!",Fry,Hooray!
Fry,Hooray!,Leela,"Ooh, look at that!"
Leela,"Ooh, look at that!",Bender,Hey!
Bender,Hey!,Glurmo,"Welcome to the planet Wormulon. I'm Glurmo, your golly-rific guide to the splend-tacular Slurm factory."
Glurmo,"Welcome to the planet Wormulon. I'm Glurmo, your golly-rific guide to the splend-tacular Slurm factory.",Fry,Uh-huh. Can we have our free Slurm now?
Fry,Uh-huh. Can we have our free Slurm now?,Glurmo,"You'll have all the Slurm you can drink later on when you're partying with my good friend, Slurms MacKenzie."
Glurmo,"You'll have all the Slurm you can drink later on when you're partying with my good friend, Slurms MacKenzie.",Slurms,"Alright! Whimmy-wham-wham-wazzle! Lay some skin on me, dudes!"
Slurms,"Alright! Whimmy-wham-wham-wazzle! Lay some skin on me, dudes!",Bender,"Are you ready to get down, get funky with us?"
Bender,"Are you ready to get down, get funky with us?",Glurmo,"He'd better be, that's what we pay him for. Right, Slurms?"
Glurmo,"He'd better be, that's what we pay him for. Right, Slurms?",Slurms,Right!
Slurms,Right!,Glurmo,"In fact, Slurms has to party all night, every night, or he's fired!"
Glurmo,"In fact, Slurms has to party all night, every night, or he's fired!",Slurms,Rock on!
Slurms,Rock on!,Glurmo,"But before the party, you're all in for a fun-derful treat: A VIP tour of the Slurm factory!"
Glurmo,"But before the party, you're all in for a fun-derful treat: A VIP tour of the Slurm factory!",Slurms,I'm gonna go lie down.
Slurms,I'm gonna go lie down.,Glurmo,"Welcome, my friends, to the wondrous world of whimsy that we like to call Slurms Centralised Industrial Fabrication Unit."
Glurmo,"Welcome, my friends, to the wondrous world of whimsy that we like to call Slurms Centralised Industrial Fabrication Unit.",Farnsworth,"Oh, my!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, my!",Bender,Look! Flowers! And a boat!
Bender,Look! Flowers! And a boat!,Farnsworth,Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?
Farnsworth,Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?,Glurmo,"Why, those are the Grunka Lunkas. They work here in the Slurm factory."
Glurmo,"Why, those are the Grunka Lunkas. They work here in the Slurm factory.",Farnsworth,Tell them I hate them.
Farnsworth,Tell them I hate them.,Glurmo,"Then, last of all, we add the secret ingredient that makes Slurm so deliciously addictive."
Glurmo,"Then, last of all, we add the secret ingredient that makes Slurm so deliciously addictive.",Fry,"So, what's the secret ingredient?"
Fry,"So, what's the secret ingredient?",Glurmo,It's whatever your imagination wants it to be.
Glurmo,It's whatever your imagination wants it to be.,Fry,Oh. But what is it really?
Fry,Oh. But what is it really?,Glurmo,"Now, over here the Grunka Lunkas are inducing Wumpus berries to release their flavour, using sensual massage."
Glurmo,"Now, over here the Grunka Lunkas are inducing Wumpus berries to release their flavour, using sensual massage.",Bender,"Psst, those berries. Those are the secret ingredient, right?"
Bender,"Psst, those berries. Those are the secret ingredient, right?",Glurmo,No.
Glurmo,No.,Bender,You positive?
Bender,You positive?,Glurmo,Yes.
Glurmo,Yes.,Bender,I'm just asking cause they look kind of secret.
Bender,I'm just asking cause they look kind of secret.,Glurmo,Enough! There will be no further questions.
Glurmo,Enough! There will be no further questions.,Fry,Why?
Fry,Why?,Leela,"Hey, look! The disgusting little men are starting to sing."
Leela,"Hey, look! The disgusting little men are starting to sing.",Grunka,Lunkas
Grunka,Lunkas,The,secret of Slurm's on a need-to-know basis.
The,secret of Slurm's on a need-to-know basis.,Grunka,Lunka #1: Asking questions in school is a great way to learn.
Grunka,Lunka #1: Asking questions in school is a great way to learn.,Grunka,Lunka #2: If you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke.
Grunka,Lunka #2: If you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke.,Grunka,Lunka #1: We once found a dead guy face down in the Slurm.
Grunka,Lunka #1: We once found a dead guy face down in the Slurm.,Grunka,Lunka #2: It could easily happen again to you folks.
Grunka,Lunka #2: It could easily happen again to you folks.,Grunka,Lunkas
Grunka,Lunkas,Grunka,Lunka lunka dunkity dot!
Grunka,Lunka lunka dunkity dot!,Glurmo,"Hey, I don't pay you to sing! You just used up today's bathroom break!"
Glurmo,"Hey, I don't pay you to sing! You just used up today's bathroom break!",Grunka,Lunka #2: Hard ass.
Grunka,Lunka #2: Hard ass.,Glurmo,I heard that!
Glurmo,I heard that!,Glurmo,"Now, on your right, you'll see the Slurm Master checking the Slurm for colour and bouquet."
Glurmo,"Now, on your right, you'll see the Slurm Master checking the Slurm for colour and bouquet.",Fry,So thirsty.
Fry,So thirsty.,Glurmo,"Then he tastes it. He tastes it and tastes it, then tastes it some more."
Glurmo,"Then he tastes it. He tastes it and tastes it, then tastes it some more.",Fry,"Uh, could I have some Slurm, please?"
Fry,"Uh, could I have some Slurm, please?",Glurmo,No food or drink allowed on the tour. You'll have to wait until you're partying with Slurms MacKenzie.
Glurmo,No food or drink allowed on the tour. You'll have to wait until you're partying with Slurms MacKenzie.,Fry,When will that be?
Fry,When will that be?,Glurmo,Soon enough.
Glurmo,Soon enough.,Fry,That's not soon enough.
Fry,That's not soon enough.,Leela,"Hey, what's behind that door?"
Leela,"Hey, what's behind that door?",Glurmo,Nothing.
Glurmo,Nothing.,Leela,Is it the secret ingredient?
Leela,Is it the secret ingredient?,Grunka,Lunkas
Grunka,Lunkas,You,should not ask about the secret ingredient.
You,should not ask about the secret ingredient.,Bender,"OK, OK, we get the point."
Bender,"OK, OK, we get the point.",Leela,I was just curious because of the armed guards.
Leela,I was just curious because of the armed guards.,Grunka,Lunkas: Grunka Lunka dunkity darmed guards--
Grunka,Lunkas: Grunka Lunka dunkity darmed guards--,Bender,Shut the hell up!
Bender,Shut the hell up!,Hermes,So you're telling me I could fire my whole staff and hire Grunka Lunkas at half the cost?
Hermes,So you're telling me I could fire my whole staff and hire Grunka Lunkas at half the cost?,Glurmo,They're basically slaves.
Glurmo,They're basically slaves.,Leela,are you doing?
Leela,are you doing?,Fry,I'm dying of thirst. Grab my feet and dunk my head in so I can drink.
Fry,I'm dying of thirst. Grab my feet and dunk my head in so I can drink.,Leela,No. That's moronic.
Leela,No. That's moronic.,Fry,Help! I can't swim!
Fry,Help! I can't swim!,Leela,"Bender, why did you jump in?"
Leela,"Bender, why did you jump in?",Bender,Everybody was doing it. I just wanted to be popular.
Bender,Everybody was doing it. I just wanted to be popular.,Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Leela,Where are we?
Leela,Where are we?,Bender,And why is the Slurm pouring into this sewer?
Bender,And why is the Slurm pouring into this sewer?,Fry,This isn't Slurm at all!
Fry,This isn't Slurm at all!,Leela,Something's rotten on the planet Wormulon. Look at this.
Leela,Something's rotten on the planet Wormulon. Look at this.,Leela,This all must have something to do with the secret ingredient.
Leela,This all must have something to do with the secret ingredient.,Leela,No. There's already a soda like that: Soylent Cola.
Leela,No. There's already a soda like that: Soylent Cola.,Fry,Oh. How is it?
Fry,Oh. How is it?,Leela,It varies from person to person.
Leela,It varies from person to person.,Farnsworth,Ooh!
Farnsworth,Ooh!,Zoidberg,Do you have any that aren't so tight around the thorax?
Zoidberg,Do you have any that aren't so tight around the thorax?,Glurmo,"Yes, over in-- Say, weren't there more people in your group at the start of the tour?"
Glurmo,"Yes, over in-- Say, weren't there more people in your group at the start of the tour?",Amy,"Hey, yeah. Fry, Leela and Bender are missing."
Amy,"Hey, yeah. Fry, Leela and Bender are missing.",Glurmo,If you'll excuse me.
Glurmo,If you'll excuse me.,Leela,Quick.
Leela,Quick.,Fry,"Oh, yeah! I'm never going 12 minutes without a Slurm again."
Fry,"Oh, yeah! I'm never going 12 minutes without a Slurm again.",Leela,It's the end of the line. This must be where they put in the secret ingredient.
Leela,It's the end of the line. This must be where they put in the secret ingredient.,Fry,"Mmm, still warm."
Fry,"Mmm, still warm.",Fry,Ew!
Fry,Ew!,Leela,Blech!
Leela,Blech!,Bender,"Oh, Lordy!"
Bender,"Oh, Lordy!",Leela,Fry!
Leela,Fry!,Fry,the secret ingredient of Slurm?
Fry,the secret ingredient of Slurm?,Leela,ingredient of Slurm.
Leela,ingredient of Slurm.,Fry,Ew!
Fry,Ew!,Bender,"Oh, that feels good!"
Bender,"Oh, that feels good!",Fry,"Thanks, Bender!"
Fry,"Thanks, Bender!",Leela,The exit! We made it.
Leela,The exit! We made it.,Bender,"Uh, Your Majesty, I brought the prisoners."
Bender,"Uh, Your Majesty, I brought the prisoners.",Glurmo,"Well, my curious friends, you learned the secret of Slurm. That concludes the portion of the tour where you stay alive."
Glurmo,"Well, my curious friends, you learned the secret of Slurm. That concludes the portion of the tour where you stay alive.",Leela,"You wish, you slimy worm! Hi-yah!"
Leela,"You wish, you slimy worm! Hi-yah!",Slurm,"Queen: Good work, Glurmo. You have pleased your queen."
Slurm,"Queen: Good work, Glurmo. You have pleased your queen.",Small,"Glurmo #2: Thank you, Your Majesty."
Small,"Glurmo #2: Thank you, Your Majesty.",Small,"Glurmo #1: Thanks, ma'am."
Small,"Glurmo #1: Thanks, ma'am.",Leela,How can you trick people into drinking something that comes out of your behind? It's disgusting.
Leela,How can you trick people into drinking something that comes out of your behind? It's disgusting.,Slurm,Queen: Is it? Honey comes from a bee's behind. Milk comes from a cow's behind. And have you ever used toothpaste?
Slurm,Queen: Is it? Honey comes from a bee's behind. Milk comes from a cow's behind. And have you ever used toothpaste?,Fry,Whose behind does that come from?
Fry,Whose behind does that come from?,Slurm,Queen: You don't wanna know.
Slurm,Queen: You don't wanna know.,Bender,"Look, we just came to party with Slurms MacKenzie. By the way, when is that scheduled?"
Bender,"Look, we just came to party with Slurms MacKenzie. By the way, when is that scheduled?",Slurm,Queen To the torture cave!
Slurm,Queen To the torture cave!,Slurm,"Queen: You, my metal friend, will have the honour of becoming 174 Slurm cans."
Slurm,"Queen: You, my metal friend, will have the honour of becoming 174 Slurm cans.",Bender,"Ah, this trip is turning into a big letdown."
Bender,"Ah, this trip is turning into a big letdown.",Slurm,"Queen: As for you, you will be submerged in Royal Slurm which, in a matter of minutes, will transform you into a Slurm Queen like myself."
Slurm,"Queen: As for you, you will be submerged in Royal Slurm which, in a matter of minutes, will transform you into a Slurm Queen like myself.",Small,"Glurmo #1: But, Your Highness, she's a commoner. Her Slurm will taste foul."
Small,"Glurmo #1: But, Your Highness, she's a commoner. Her Slurm will taste foul.",Slurm,"Queen Slurm. Then, when everyone hates it, we'll bring back Slurm Classic, and make billions!"
Slurm,"Queen Slurm. Then, when everyone hates it, we'll bring back Slurm Classic, and make billions!",Fry,What about me?
Fry,What about me?,Slurm,Queen: You are free to go.
Slurm,Queen: You are free to go.,Fry,Yes!
Fry,Yes!,Slurm,Queen!
Slurm,Queen!,Fry,Mmm!
Fry,Mmm!,Slurm,"Queen: Farewell! Oh, and congratulations again on winning the contest."
Slurm,"Queen: Farewell! Oh, and congratulations again on winning the contest.",Leela,"Fry, untie us, quick!"
Leela,"Fry, untie us, quick!",Fry,Let me just-- One more taste.
Fry,Let me just-- One more taste.,Leela,You pig. Stop stuffing your craw and save us.
Leela,You pig. Stop stuffing your craw and save us.,Bender,I can't see what's happening. Are we boned?
Bender,I can't see what's happening. Are we boned?,Fry,I can't stop eating this delicious ooze. But I'm not gonna let you die.
Fry,I can't stop eating this delicious ooze. But I'm not gonna let you die.,Leela,Hurry!
Leela,Hurry!,Bender,Just in time!
Bender,Just in time!,Fry,arms!
Fry,arms!,Leela,We're close to the exit. I can smell those filthy orange guys.
Leela,We're close to the exit. I can smell those filthy orange guys.,Slurms,Stop right there!
Slurms,Stop right there!,Bender,Slurms MacKenzie?
Bender,Slurms MacKenzie?,Slurms,Shh! I want you to take me with you.
Slurms,Shh! I want you to take me with you.,Fry,Say what?
Fry,Say what?,Slurms,I'm partied out. All I want is to stay home and rent videos and watch them with a few friends. Is that so much to ask?
Slurms,I'm partied out. All I want is to stay home and rent videos and watch them with a few friends. Is that so much to ask?,Bender,It says on this bottle-cap you have to party with us.
Bender,It says on this bottle-cap you have to party with us.,Slurms,"Alright, when we get to Earth. But please don't invite too many people, I wanna keep it small."
Slurms,"Alright, when we get to Earth. But please don't invite too many people, I wanna keep it small.",Bender,"No can do, Slurms!"
Bender,"No can do, Slurms!",Slurms,This way!
Slurms,This way!,Leela,She's gaining on us.
Leela,She's gaining on us.,Slurms,"Go on without me, I'll hold her off."
Slurms,"Go on without me, I'll hold her off.",Fry,But she'll crush you like a worm ... crushing a smaller worm.
Fry,But she'll crush you like a worm ... crushing a smaller worm.,Slurms,Babes.
Slurms,Babes.,Dixie,"Yes, Mr. MacKenzie?"
Dixie,"Yes, Mr. MacKenzie?",Slurms,"You've served me well these 40 years, but this time I've got to party alone."
Slurms,"You've served me well these 40 years, but this time I've got to party alone.",Trixie,But--
Trixie,But--,Slurms,There'll be other parties for you. Now go. Go!
Slurms,There'll be other parties for you. Now go. Go!,Bender,"Party on, Slurms!"
Bender,"Party on, Slurms!",Slurms,"Party on, contest winners. Party on."
Slurms,"Party on, contest winners. Party on.",Slurm,Queen: No! We're ruined! They know our disgusting secret!
Slurm,Queen: No! We're ruined! They know our disgusting secret!,Farnsworth,"Commissioner, my crew has made a horrific discovery: It seems that Slurm is produced in a colossal worm hiney!"
Farnsworth,"Commissioner, my crew has made a horrific discovery: It seems that Slurm is produced in a colossal worm hiney!",Commissioner,"Hmm, hiney, you say? Why, with your testimony we'll finally be able to outlaw this insidious Slurm."
Commissioner,"Hmm, hiney, you say? Why, with your testimony we'll finally be able to outlaw this insidious Slurm.",Fry,"Uh, don't pay any attention to him, sir..."
Fry,"Uh, don't pay any attention to him, sir...",Fry,Grandpa's making up crazy stories again.
Fry,Grandpa's making up crazy stories again.,Farnsworth,"I'm not your grandpa, you're my uncle! From the year 2000!"
Farnsworth,"I'm not your grandpa, you're my uncle! From the year 2000!",Commissioner,"OK, grandpa, we'll take care of the bad worms, don't you worry."
Commissioner,"OK, grandpa, we'll take care of the bad worms, don't you worry.",Fry,"Ah, I just wish Slurms MacKenzie were here to enjoy this with me."
Fry,"Ah, I just wish Slurms MacKenzie were here to enjoy this with me.",Bender,"Yeah, that Slurms sure loved to party. Whattya say we all party one last time for him?"
Bender,"Yeah, that Slurms sure loved to party. Whattya say we all party one last time for him?",Leela,For Slurms!
Leela,For Slurms!,Amy,For Slurms!
Amy,For Slurms!,Bender,For Slurms!
Bender,For Slurms!,Farnsworth,For Slurms!
Farnsworth,For Slurms!,Fry,For Slurms!
Fry,For Slurms!,Zoidberg,Whammy-wazzle!
Zoidberg,Whammy-wazzle!,Bender,"Hey, that's not that bad."
Bender,"Hey, that's not that bad.",Fry,Mmm!
Fry,Mmm!,Announcer,... Glagnar's Human Rinds. It's a buncha muncha cruncha human!
Announcer,... Glagnar's Human Rinds. It's a buncha muncha cruncha human!,Leela,Aww! Somebody likes snouts.
Leela,Aww! Somebody likes snouts.,Fry,Is it me?
Fry,Is it me?,Bender,Stupid can opener. You killed my father and now you've come back for me!
Bender,Stupid can opener. You killed my father and now you've come back for me!,Fry,"You alright, Bender?"
Fry,"You alright, Bender?",Bender,"Yeah, I guess so. But I don't see why we keep this ticking time-bomb around just for that dumb animal."
Bender,"Yeah, I guess so. But I don't see why we keep this ticking time-bomb around just for that dumb animal.",Leela,"You hurt his feelings. Come on, pet him and make up."
Leela,"You hurt his feelings. Come on, pet him and make up.",Bender,No.
Bender,No.,Leela,I said pet him.
Leela,I said pet him.,Bender,Ow! My ass! Get off!
Bender,Ow! My ass! Get off!,Leela,Are you alright?
Leela,Are you alright?,Bender,"Ah, it's nothing a lawsuit won't cure."
Bender,"Ah, it's nothing a lawsuit won't cure.",Leela,"Aww, poor baby chipped a fang."
Leela,"Aww, poor baby chipped a fang.",Bender,"Hey, I got a busted ass here, I don't see anyone kissing it."
Bender,"Hey, I got a busted ass here, I don't see anyone kissing it.",Zoidberg,"Alright, I'm coming."
Zoidberg,"Alright, I'm coming.",Jeffery,Next.
Jeffery,Next.,Jeffery,"It's just a simple broken fang, nothing serious."
Jeffery,"It's just a simple broken fang, nothing serious.",Bender,"What's that you say there, doctor? You're gonna have to put him down?"
Bender,"What's that you say there, doctor? You're gonna have to put him down?",Jeffery,No-- What? Huh?
Jeffery,No-- What? Huh?,Bender,Terrible shame that. Shall I do the honours?
Bender,Terrible shame that. Shall I do the honours?,Leela,No!
Leela,No!,Bender,You about done?
Bender,You about done?,Leela,Next time I'm keeping it.
Leela,Next time I'm keeping it.,Jeffery,Now then.
Jeffery,Now then.,Fry,"Hey, what are these rings in Nibbler's fang?"
Fry,"Hey, what are these rings in Nibbler's fang?",Jeffery,"Um, I'm still a little woozy from a gazelle kick this morning but if he's anything like the common tree, the rings might indicate his age."
Jeffery,"Um, I'm still a little woozy from a gazelle kick this morning but if he's anything like the common tree, the rings might indicate his age.",Fry,"Yeah, well, good luck. It'd take some kind of genius to count all those rings."
Fry,"Yeah, well, good luck. It'd take some kind of genius to count all those rings.",Jeffery,He's five.
Jeffery,He's five.,Farnsworth,"Happy birthday, young Nibbler."
Farnsworth,"Happy birthday, young Nibbler.",Leela,"Aww, look how cuddly he looks in his new cape!"
Leela,"Aww, look how cuddly he looks in his new cape!",Bender,a new cape.
Bender,a new cape.,Fry,Who's playing pin the tail on the moon maggot?
Fry,Who's playing pin the tail on the moon maggot?,Bender,And the crowd goes wild! What prize do I get? Cash?
Bender,And the crowd goes wild! What prize do I get? Cash?,Amy,"Hey, look at Nibbler!"
Amy,"Hey, look at Nibbler!",Hermes,"Aww, he's holding a spoon."
Hermes,"Aww, he's holding a spoon.",Zoidberg,He's so talented!
Zoidberg,He's so talented!,Bender,Ta-da!
Bender,Ta-da!,Hermes,Now he's wearing a hat!
Hermes,Now he's wearing a hat!,Let's,all have some cake.
Let's,all have some cake.,Fry,And you smell like one too!
Fry,And you smell like one too!,Bender,"Hey, what about this?"
Bender,"Hey, what about this?",Leela,for this party.
Leela,for this party.,Bender,"Fine, we'll have rack of Nibbler."
Bender,"Fine, we'll have rack of Nibbler.",Leela,you cook it.
Leela,you cook it.,Bender,"So it's a cake you want, is it? I'll make you a cake you'll never forget."
Bender,"So it's a cake you want, is it? I'll make you a cake you'll never forget.",Bender,"Now, to bake a cake so delicious they'll have no choice but to love and worship me."
Bender,"Now, to bake a cake so delicious they'll have no choice but to love and worship me.",Bender,Happy birthday!
Bender,Happy birthday!,Leela,No!
Leela,No!,Bender,Hey! Can't you see I'm using the toilet?
Bender,Hey! Can't you see I'm using the toilet?,Amy,Bender! How could you flush Nibbler down the toilet?
Amy,Bender! How could you flush Nibbler down the toilet?,Bender,"Well, step one, I had to lift the seat. That was the first little annoyance. Am I right, men?"
Bender,"Well, step one, I had to lift the seat. That was the first little annoyance. Am I right, men?",Leela,down the toilet?
Leela,down the toilet?,Bender,Only one way to find out.
Bender,Only one way to find out.,Leela,You have no sympathy for anyone else's feelings.
Leela,You have no sympathy for anyone else's feelings.,Bender,Of course I do. Right now I feel sorry for you.
Bender,Of course I do. Right now I feel sorry for you.,Leela,You do?
Leela,You do?,Bender,"Yeah. I mean, one cantaloupe-sized bloodshot eye? You ain't winning no beauty pageants, lady."
Bender,"Yeah. I mean, one cantaloupe-sized bloodshot eye? You ain't winning no beauty pageants, lady.",Farnsworth,"And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I too hope one day to go: The toilet."
Farnsworth,"And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I too hope one day to go: The toilet.",Leela,I wouldn't feel so bad if Bender just understood the pain he caused me.
Leela,I wouldn't feel so bad if Bender just understood the pain he caused me.,Calculon,sugarcoat it.
Calculon,sugarcoat it.,Doctorbot,Very well. Your entire family died when a plane piloted by your fiancée crashed into your uninsured home. And you have inoperable cancer.
Doctorbot,Very well. Your entire family died when a plane piloted by your fiancée crashed into your uninsured home. And you have inoperable cancer.,Bender,"Bet you weren't expecting that one, Calculon!"
Bender,"Bet you weren't expecting that one, Calculon!",Amy,It's like he doesn't understand simple humanoid emotion.
Amy,It's like he doesn't understand simple humanoid emotion.,Leela,I wish just once Bender could feel exactly what I feel.
Leela,I wish just once Bender could feel exactly what I feel.,Farnsworth,"Actually, through the miracle of science, that can be arranged."
Farnsworth,"Actually, through the miracle of science, that can be arranged.",Fry,Uh-oh. Is this gonna be another crazy experiment that crosses a line Man was not meant to cross?
Fry,Uh-oh. Is this gonna be another crazy experiment that crosses a line Man was not meant to cross?,Linda,"The official death toll in that tragic rocket crash has now been raised to 54,000."
Linda,"The official death toll in that tragic rocket crash has now been raised to 54,000.",Bender,"Hey, what the hell are you doing with my head?"
Bender,"Hey, what the hell are you doing with my head?",Farnsworth,I need to tinker in it.
Farnsworth,I need to tinker in it.,Bender,Why don't you just use a potted plant like Fry?
Bender,Why don't you just use a potted plant like Fry?,Farnsworth,"Quiet, you. I'm installing an empathy chip."
Farnsworth,"Quiet, you. I'm installing an empathy chip.",Fry,And that'll allow Bender to feel other people's emotions?
Fry,And that'll allow Bender to feel other people's emotions?,Farnsworth,Yes. If by allow you mean force.
Farnsworth,Yes. If by allow you mean force.,Bender,Ooh! Ow! Son of a-- Careful with that! Ow...
Bender,Ooh! Ow! Son of a-- Careful with that! Ow...,Farnsworth,"Oh, dear. Oh, my. I got it. Once more."
Farnsworth,"Oh, dear. Oh, my. I got it. Once more.",Bender,Ow! Professor!
Bender,Ow! Professor!,Farnsworth,Steady now.
Farnsworth,Steady now.,Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Farnsworth,Now I'll simply tune it to Leela's emotional frequency.
Farnsworth,Now I'll simply tune it to Leela's emotional frequency.,Bender,My God! I'm overcome with ... feelings. I'm experiencing a powerful yearning to ... to cram my gullet full of mackerel heads.
Bender,My God! I'm overcome with ... feelings. I'm experiencing a powerful yearning to ... to cram my gullet full of mackerel heads.,Zoidberg,"That's me, baby!"
Zoidberg,"That's me, baby!",Farnsworth,Hmm.
Farnsworth,Hmm.,Bender,"Now I'm worried that I'm not as smart as Leela, but at the same time I feel relieved that I'm cuter than her."
Bender,"Now I'm worried that I'm not as smart as Leela, but at the same time I feel relieved that I'm cuter than her.",Amy,Uh ... that's me.
Amy,Uh ... that's me.,Fry,Thanks for covering.
Fry,Thanks for covering.,Bender,This time I miss Nibbler and I'm feeling nosy and opinionated.
Bender,This time I miss Nibbler and I'm feeling nosy and opinionated.,Amy,Bingo!
Amy,Bingo!,Hermes,That's Leela!
Hermes,That's Leela!,Leela,"Thank you, Professor. I'm happy that Bender can finally feel my pain."
Leela,"Thank you, Professor. I'm happy that Bender can finally feel my pain.",Bender,Happy. I like this feeling. Just don't revert to your usual mopey self.
Bender,Happy. I like this feeling. Just don't revert to your usual mopey self.,Leela,I'm not mopey. You shut up!
Leela,I'm not mopey. You shut up!,Bender,"Anger, huh? How dare you make me feel anger, you one-eyed jerk with a dead pet!"
Bender,"Anger, huh? How dare you make me feel anger, you one-eyed jerk with a dead pet!",Leela,"Thanks for taking me out, Amy. I feel slightly less miserable already."
Leela,"Thanks for taking me out, Amy. I feel slightly less miserable already.",Amy,"Hey, you know what'd cheer you up? You should get a puppy."
Amy,"Hey, you know what'd cheer you up? You should get a puppy.",Leela,A puppy? Nibbler loved to eat puppies.
Leela,A puppy? Nibbler loved to eat puppies.,Fry,What's your problem?
Fry,What's your problem?,Bender,I miss Nibbler.
Bender,I miss Nibbler.,Fry,You do?
Fry,You do?,Bender,Why can't she just drink herself happy like a normal person?
Bender,Why can't she just drink herself happy like a normal person?,Bender,You think you're so hot!
Bender,You think you're so hot!,Fry,What?
Fry,What?,Bender,The only reason you get all the guys is because you dress like a tramp!
Bender,The only reason you get all the guys is because you dress like a tramp!,Fry,They're just responding to my personality.
Fry,They're just responding to my personality.,Amy,"Um, Leela? Armando and I are going to the back seat of his car for coffee. You gonna be alright here by yourself?"
Amy,"Um, Leela? Armando and I are going to the back seat of his car for coffee. You gonna be alright here by yourself?",Leela,time -- really. You two go enjoy yourselves.
Leela,time -- really. You two go enjoy yourselves.,Bender,A bucket of--
Bender,A bucket of--,Fry,The spoon's in the foot powder.
Fry,The spoon's in the foot powder.,Bender,"I'm at the end of my rope. I can't live another minute without poor, sweet Nibbler."
Bender,"I'm at the end of my rope. I can't live another minute without poor, sweet Nibbler.",Fry,"Too bad he wasn't an alligator. Y'know, when you flush those things, they stay alive in the sewers."
Fry,"Too bad he wasn't an alligator. Y'know, when you flush those things, they stay alive in the sewers.",Bender,Really?
Bender,Really?,Fry,Yep. My friend's cousin's caseworker saw one once. It's a widely-believed fact.
Fry,Yep. My friend's cousin's caseworker saw one once. It's a widely-believed fact.,Bender,"Thinking, thinking, thinking."
Bender,"Thinking, thinking, thinking.",Bender,See you on the other side!
Bender,See you on the other side!,Fry,Have you seen my sombrero?
Fry,Have you seen my sombrero?,Leela,down the toilet? Who's he gonna flush next?
Leela,down the toilet? Who's he gonna flush next?,Fry,"Hey, it's your fault. He only flushed himself because your emotions made him feel bad."
Fry,"Hey, it's your fault. He only flushed himself because your emotions made him feel bad.",Leela,You're right. I feel terrible.
Leela,You're right. I feel terrible.,Fry,"Oh, great, now you're making him feel worse!"
Fry,"Oh, great, now you're making him feel worse!",Leela,I guess we'd better go down into the sewers and look for him.
Leela,I guess we'd better go down into the sewers and look for him.,Amy,Are you crazy? There's mutants down there! They'll eat you alive.
Amy,Are you crazy? There's mutants down there! They'll eat you alive.,Zoidberg,They're hideous!
Zoidberg,They're hideous!,Leela,There's no such thing as mutants. That's a ridiculous urban myth.
Leela,There's no such thing as mutants. That's a ridiculous urban myth.,Farnsworth,"Oh, don't be so sure. Many scientists believe humans really could mutate down there. Uh, due to exposure to toxic waste and radioactive run-off and good old American faeces!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, don't be so sure. Many scientists believe humans really could mutate down there. Uh, due to exposure to toxic waste and radioactive run-off and good old American faeces!",Fry,God bless America.
Fry,God bless America.,Fry,"Phew! Uh, ladies first."
Fry,"Phew! Uh, ladies first.",Fry,"Oh, and the aftertaste!"
Fry,"Oh, and the aftertaste!",Leela,What is it?
Leela,What is it?,Fry,I burned my finger.
Fry,I burned my finger.,Leela,"OK, check the guidebook."
Leela,"OK, check the guidebook.",Fry,"Looks like we're under Park Avenue. Ooh, ritzy! Just think: All this was probably once a charity luncheon for the Met."
Fry,"Looks like we're under Park Avenue. Ooh, ritzy! Just think: All this was probably once a charity luncheon for the Met.",Leela,"Wait, what's that?"
Leela,"Wait, what's that?",Bender,I never should have thrown out the manual.
Bender,I never should have thrown out the manual.,Leela,"Bender, you didn't have to come down here."
Leela,"Bender, you didn't have to come down here.",Bender,I know. But I just missed Nibbler so much.
Bender,I know. But I just missed Nibbler so much.,Leela,He was so cute.
Leela,He was so cute.,Bender,He was so sweet.
Bender,He was so sweet.,Fry,Or maybe it's whatever that is.
Fry,Or maybe it's whatever that is.,Leela,Nibbler?
Leela,Nibbler?,Bender,Nibbler?
Bender,Nibbler?,Leela,"It's no use. We'd better turn back. Which way, Fry?"
Leela,"It's no use. We'd better turn back. Which way, Fry?",Fry,Don't worry. It gets wider after about a mile.
Fry,Don't worry. It gets wider after about a mile.,Leela,Idiot.
Leela,Idiot.,Bender,Idiot.
Bender,Idiot.,Fry,"OK, OK, never mind. I'll just ask those people for directions."
Fry,"OK, OK, never mind. I'll just ask those people for directions.",Leela,Mutants!
Leela,Mutants!,Leela,Mutants! They're real!
Leela,Mutants! They're real!,Fry,Back! Back!
Fry,Back! Back!,Vyolet,"Thanks, handsome."
Vyolet,"Thanks, handsome.",Dwayne,"Please, do not be frightened, we're harmless."
Dwayne,"Please, do not be frightened, we're harmless.",Raoul,I have three arms.
Raoul,I have three arms.,Dwayne,I said harmless not armless.
Dwayne,I said harmless not armless.,Vyolet,Lay off him. You know he's only got one ear.
Vyolet,Lay off him. You know he's only got one ear.,Fry,"Hey, aren't you supposed to be eating our brains? You're mutants."
Fry,"Hey, aren't you supposed to be eating our brains? You're mutants.",Dwayne,who are the mutants.
Dwayne,who are the mutants.,"Vyolet,","Dwayne, have you looked in a mirror lately?"
"Vyolet,","Dwayne, have you looked in a mirror lately?",Raoul,"Welcome to our village. It may not be Paris but it has a certain quaint charm that I, for one, wouldn't trade for the world."
Raoul,"Welcome to our village. It may not be Paris but it has a certain quaint charm that I, for one, wouldn't trade for the world.",Bender,"You guys realise you live in a sewer, right?"
Bender,"You guys realise you live in a sewer, right?",Dwayne,civilisation is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you.
Dwayne,civilisation is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you.,Leela,"No, we're on the top."
Leela,"No, we're on the top.",Fry,Daylight and everything.
Fry,Daylight and everything.,Vyolet,It must be wonderful.
Vyolet,It must be wonderful.,Bender,Eh.
Bender,Eh.,Leela,"Listen. We actually came down here to find our pet, Nibbler. He got flushed down the toilet."
Leela,"Listen. We actually came down here to find our pet, Nibbler. He got flushed down the toilet.",Raoul,This is our library.
Raoul,This is our library.,Bender,Nothing but crumpled porno and Ayn Rand.
Bender,Nothing but crumpled porno and Ayn Rand.,Raoul,And over here is our church.
Raoul,And over here is our church.,Fry,Wow. You guys worship an unexploded nuclear bomb?
Fry,Wow. You guys worship an unexploded nuclear bomb?,Vyolet,"Yeah, but nobody's that observant. It's mainly a Christmas and Easter thing."
Vyolet,"Yeah, but nobody's that observant. It's mainly a Christmas and Easter thing.",Leela,Nibbler?
Leela,Nibbler?,Bender,"Come to Daddy, sweetie-ookums."
Bender,"Come to Daddy, sweetie-ookums.",Fry,"So, is it true that alligators flushed down the toilet survive down here?"
Fry,"So, is it true that alligators flushed down the toilet survive down here?",Vyolet,No. That's just an urban legend.
Vyolet,No. That's just an urban legend.,Bender,Then what are those?
Bender,Then what are those?,Vyolet,Crocodiles.
Vyolet,Crocodiles.,Raoul,"We keep them as pets. Then, when they grow too large, we flush them down into the sub-sewer."
Raoul,"We keep them as pets. Then, when they grow too large, we flush them down into the sub-sewer.",Dwayne-mutants,down there.
Dwayne-mutants,down there.,Vyolet,"Please, that's just a sub-urban legend."
Vyolet,"Please, that's just a sub-urban legend.",Dwayne,... El Chupanibre.
Dwayne,... El Chupanibre.,Leela,El Chupanibre? What's that?
Leela,El Chupanibre? What's that?,And,half your alligator.
And,half your alligator.,Vyolet,Crocodile.
Vyolet,Crocodile.,Dwayne,Whatever.
Dwayne,Whatever.,Leela,Wait. Our pet Nibbler loves fresh crocodile. It's his favourite treat. He must be El Chupanibre.
Leela,Wait. Our pet Nibbler loves fresh crocodile. It's his favourite treat. He must be El Chupanibre.,Bender,"Hey, yeah!"
Bender,"Hey, yeah!",Raoul,You unleashed the dreaded El Chupanibre upon us? Then you are our sworn enemies.
Raoul,You unleashed the dreaded El Chupanibre upon us? Then you are our sworn enemies.,Leela,You don't understand. He would never hurt people. Let us help you capture him.
Leela,You don't understand. He would never hurt people. Let us help you capture him.,Dwayne,"Impossible. If the legend is true, our only hope is to offer him a snack-rifice."
Dwayne,"Impossible. If the legend is true, our only hope is to offer him a snack-rifice.",Raoul,Yes. An unspoiled virgin.
Raoul,Yes. An unspoiled virgin.,Leela,I volunteer.
Leela,I volunteer.,Vyolet,"Nice try, Leela, but we've all seen Zapp Brannigan's webpage."
Vyolet,"Nice try, Leela, but we've all seen Zapp Brannigan's webpage.",Bender,"Oh, I made myself feel bad."
Bender,"Oh, I made myself feel bad.",Raoul,"Behold. When El Chupanibre comes for the, uh, virgin, he will be snared by this rope trap."
Raoul,"Behold. When El Chupanibre comes for the, uh, virgin, he will be snared by this rope trap.",Dwayne,Shh. El Chupanibre comes soon. It is nightfall.
Dwayne,Shh. El Chupanibre comes soon. It is nightfall.,Leela,Nightfall? How can you tell down here?
Leela,Nightfall? How can you tell down here?,Dwayne,The tide is coming in.
Dwayne,The tide is coming in.,Vyolet,Quiet! The beast approaches.
Vyolet,Quiet! The beast approaches.,Bender,"Look, everyone, it's El Chupanibre."
Bender,"Look, everyone, it's El Chupanibre.",Dwayne,That's not El Chupanibre.
Dwayne,That's not El Chupanibre.,Bender,Say what?
Bender,Say what?,Dwayne,El Chupanibre.
Dwayne,El Chupanibre.,Fry,I'll take care of this.
Fry,I'll take care of this.,Leela,"Bender, do something."
Leela,"Bender, do something.",Bender,I'm too scared.
Bender,I'm too scared.,Fry,"Leela, your scaredness is being transmitted straight to Bender. If you care about Nibbler, stop caring about him!"
Fry,"Leela, your scaredness is being transmitted straight to Bender. If you care about Nibbler, stop caring about him!",Leela,I can't. I love every living creature.
Leela,I can't. I love every living creature.,Fry,Even me?
Fry,Even me?,Leela,As a friend.
Leela,As a friend.,Fry,Damn.
Fry,Damn.,Leela,"Well, I could use a new tank top."
Leela,"Well, I could use a new tank top.",Bender,Bigger! Bigger!
Bender,Bigger! Bigger!,Leela,tank top. And designer boots ... encrusted with jewels.
Leela,tank top. And designer boots ... encrusted with jewels.,Bender,"Don't stop now, you'll need some pants to go with that outfit."
Bender,"Don't stop now, you'll need some pants to go with that outfit.",Leela,Yeah. And I could afford it all if I didn't have to feed that stupid Nibbler.
Leela,Yeah. And I could afford it all if I didn't have to feed that stupid Nibbler.,Bender,"Bender is back. I'll save you, Nibbler."
Bender,"Bender is back. I'll save you, Nibbler.",Fry,Bender's gonna be killed!
Fry,Bender's gonna be killed!,Leela,You know what else I could use? A weekend at one of those fancy spas. And a Toblerone.
Leela,You know what else I could use? A weekend at one of those fancy spas. And a Toblerone.,Fry,Yeah!
Fry,Yeah!,Leela,You did it!
Leela,You did it!,Raoul,Let's have a tissue-tape parade!
Raoul,Let's have a tissue-tape parade!,Bender,"No, thanks!"
Bender,"No, thanks!",(talking),It's gonna be many a year before someone flushes another guitar string.
(talking),It's gonna be many a year before someone flushes another guitar string.,Farnsworth,That was a disgusting story.
Farnsworth,That was a disgusting story.,Leela,"And it's all thanks to Bender. I love you, Bender."
Leela,"And it's all thanks to Bender. I love you, Bender.",Bender,Get that stupid chip out of me before I kill myself!
Bender,Get that stupid chip out of me before I kill myself!,Farnsworth,"Bender, you won't believe this, but the empathy chip burned out. The emotion you felt for Nibbler was actually your own."
Farnsworth,"Bender, you won't believe this, but the empathy chip burned out. The emotion you felt for Nibbler was actually your own.",Fry,Looks like Bender learned an important lesson about respecting other people's feelings afterall.
Fry,Looks like Bender learned an important lesson about respecting other people's feelings afterall.,Farnsworth,"No, I'm wrong. The empathy chip was running at triple capacity."
Farnsworth,"No, I'm wrong. The empathy chip was running at triple capacity.",Bender,"And I still barely felt anything. Goodnight, losers!"
Bender,"And I still barely felt anything. Goodnight, losers!",Leela,"So long, jerkwads!"
Leela,"So long, jerkwads!",Farnsworth,So long!
Farnsworth,So long!,Fry,Check.
Fry,Check.,Bender,"Hmm. Get him, boys!"
Bender,"Hmm. Get him, boys!",Fry,Good move.
Fry,Good move.,Farnsworth,We have a mission to further the noble cause of intergalactic peace.
Farnsworth,We have a mission to further the noble cause of intergalactic peace.,Bender,Nope. Watching cartoons.
Bender,Nope. Watching cartoons.,Fry,Sorry.
Fry,Sorry.,Leela,What's the mission?
Leela,What's the mission?,Farnsworth,It's a delivery for the Democratic Order Of Planets.
Farnsworth,It's a delivery for the Democratic Order Of Planets.,Fry,DOOP? What's that?
Fry,DOOP? What's that?,Farnsworth,"from your time, Fry."
Farnsworth,"from your time, Fry.",Fry,Uh...
Fry,Uh...,Hermes,programme.
Hermes,programme.,Fry,Oh!
Fry,Oh!,Farnsworth,Tonight is the ribbon-cutting for the DOOP's new headquarters.
Farnsworth,Tonight is the ribbon-cutting for the DOOP's new headquarters.,Leela,What are we delivering?
Leela,What are we delivering?,Farnsworth,Something without which no ribbon-cutting ceremony could proceed. The ceremonial oversized scissors.
Farnsworth,Something without which no ribbon-cutting ceremony could proceed. The ceremonial oversized scissors.,Leela,We'll get them there as quickly as we can.
Leela,We'll get them there as quickly as we can.,Farnsworth,"Alright, but don't run with them."
Farnsworth,"Alright, but don't run with them.",Fry,"Wow! There's a million aliens. I've never seen anything so mind-blowing. Ooh, a reception table with muffins!"
Fry,"Wow! There's a million aliens. I've never seen anything so mind-blowing. Ooh, a reception table with muffins!",Amazonian,Big rats there. Me crush with club.
Amazonian,Big rats there. Me crush with club.,Fry,interesting. Maybe we could get to know each other over a coffee.
Fry,interesting. Maybe we could get to know each other over a coffee.,Glab,"What are your thoughts on this momentous occasion, Your Neutralness?"
Glab,"What are your thoughts on this momentous occasion, Your Neutralness?",Neutral,President: I have no strong feelings one way or the other.
Neutral,President: I have no strong feelings one way or the other.,Bender,He means you guys did it.
Bender,He means you guys did it.,Leela,"If you don't mind, we're here to deliver the scissors for the ribbon-cutting."
Leela,"If you don't mind, we're here to deliver the scissors for the ribbon-cutting.",Zapp,Then you're under arrest.
Zapp,Then you're under arrest.,Leela,What for?
Leela,What for?,Zapp,How do I know these scissors aren't part of some Neutral plot?
Zapp,How do I know these scissors aren't part of some Neutral plot?,Leela,But they're not even sharp. Who could I possibly hurt with them?
Leela,But they're not even sharp. Who could I possibly hurt with them?,Zapp,"So, a plan to assassinate a weird-looking alien with scissors. How very Neutral of you."
Zapp,"So, a plan to assassinate a weird-looking alien with scissors. How very Neutral of you.",Leela,What?
Leela,What?,Zapp,"Search them for paper, and bring me a rock."
Zapp,"Search them for paper, and bring me a rock.",Zapp,Drag them to the ship.
Zapp,Drag them to the ship.,Glab,"And now, to cut the ribbon, the legendary DOOP captain who just returned from a triumphant carpet-bombing of Eden 7, Zapp Brannigan."
Glab,"And now, to cut the ribbon, the legendary DOOP captain who just returned from a triumphant carpet-bombing of Eden 7, Zapp Brannigan.",Zapp,What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?
Zapp,What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?,Kif,"Um, sir, you're supposed to be cutting the ribbon right now."
Kif,"Um, sir, you're supposed to be cutting the ribbon right now.",Zapp,No matter. I'll simply cut it from here with the ship's laser.
Zapp,No matter. I'll simply cut it from here with the ship's laser.,Kif,"Sir, I don't think that's wise."
Kif,"Sir, I don't think that's wise.",Zapp,"Kif, if there's one thing I don't need it's your I-don't-think-that's-wise attitude."
Zapp,"Kif, if there's one thing I don't need it's your I-don't-think-that's-wise attitude.",Zapp,Whoopsie-daisy!
Zapp,Whoopsie-daisy!,Glab,"Zapp Brannigan, you stand accused of blowing up DOOP headquarters. How do you plead?"
Glab,"Zapp Brannigan, you stand accused of blowing up DOOP headquarters. How do you plead?",Zapp,Absolutely 99% not guilty.
Zapp,Absolutely 99% not guilty.,Glab,Then the prosecutor will call his first witness.
Glab,Then the prosecutor will call his first witness.,Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour, I'm just a simple Hyper-Chicken from a backwoods asteroid but if it please the court I reckon I'll call the entire jury."
Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour, I'm just a simple Hyper-Chicken from a backwoods asteroid but if it please the court I reckon I'll call the entire jury.",Glab,I'm going to allow this.
Glab,I'm going to allow this.,Hyper-Chicken,... did y'all happen to catch a gander at who blew up that there DOOP headquarters?
Hyper-Chicken,... did y'all happen to catch a gander at who blew up that there DOOP headquarters?,Juror,"#1: That's the guy, right there."
Juror,"#1: That's the guy, right there.",Juror,"#2: Oh, yeah, right there."
Juror,"#2: Oh, yeah, right there.",Small,Glurmo #1: That one.
Small,Glurmo #1: That one.,Hyper-Chicken,And are y'all gonna vote to convict him?
Hyper-Chicken,And are y'all gonna vote to convict him?,Neptunian,You'd better believe it.
Neptunian,You'd better believe it.,Juror,#1: You bet.
Juror,#1: You bet.,Glab,The jury is instructed to disregard its own testimony.
Glab,The jury is instructed to disregard its own testimony.,Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour, the prosecution rests."
Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour, the prosecution rests.",Glab,"The evidence against Zapp Brannigan is strong. However, in light of his years of service, and the incompetence of this hillbilly prosecutor, I'm afraid I must dismiss all charges."
Glab,"The evidence against Zapp Brannigan is strong. However, in light of his years of service, and the incompetence of this hillbilly prosecutor, I'm afraid I must dismiss all charges.",Leela,"Dismiss all charges? Your Honour, I know the case is closed and you've rendered your verdict, but I wanna testify."
Leela,"Dismiss all charges? Your Honour, I know the case is closed and you've rendered your verdict, but I wanna testify.",Glab,I'm going to allow this.
Glab,I'm going to allow this.,Hyper-Chicken,"Now, Miss Leela, on the date in question, were you or were you not wearing a hoop skirt?"
Hyper-Chicken,"Now, Miss Leela, on the date in question, were you or were you not wearing a hoop skirt?",Leela,"That's a stupid question. What matters is Zapp Brannigan is the sorriest captain I've ever seen, and I saw the idiot blow up DOOP headquarters with my own eye."
Leela,"That's a stupid question. What matters is Zapp Brannigan is the sorriest captain I've ever seen, and I saw the idiot blow up DOOP headquarters with my own eye.",Zapp,I'd like to cross-examine the witness.
Zapp,I'd like to cross-examine the witness.,Glab,I'm going to allow this.
Glab,I'm going to allow this.,Zapp,We've met before have we not?
Zapp,We've met before have we not?,Leela,Yes.
Leela,Yes.,Zapp,"And on that occasion, did you have sex with someone? May I remind you you are still under oath."
Zapp,"And on that occasion, did you have sex with someone? May I remind you you are still under oath.",Leela,Yes.
Leela,Yes.,Zapp,And his name is?
Zapp,And his name is?,Leela,Zapp Brannigan.
Leela,Zapp Brannigan.,Zapp,The very same Zapp Brannigan who did not blow up DOOP headquarters. I rest my case.
Zapp,The very same Zapp Brannigan who did not blow up DOOP headquarters. I rest my case.,Glab,"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you may begin your deliberations."
Glab,"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you may begin your deliberations.",Small,"Glurmo #1: Your Honour, we have reached a verdict. We find the defendant ... guilty."
Small,"Glurmo #1: Your Honour, we have reached a verdict. We find the defendant ... guilty.",Glab,"Zapp Brannigan, you are hereby stripped of your rank as captain and dismissed from the DOOP."
Glab,"Zapp Brannigan, you are hereby stripped of your rank as captain and dismissed from the DOOP.",Zapp,"And wave it a little, for God's sakes. My friends, you can take away a man's title and his uniform but you can never take away his integrity or his honour. Plus it was mostly Kif's fault."
Zapp,"And wave it a little, for God's sakes. My friends, you can take away a man's title and his uniform but you can never take away his integrity or his honour. Plus it was mostly Kif's fault.",Kif,What?
Kif,What?,Glab,"Kif Kroker, you are also stripped of your rank and dishonourably discharged."
Glab,"Kif Kroker, you are also stripped of your rank and dishonourably discharged.",Zapp,"One day a man has everything, the next day he blows up a $400 billion space station and the next day he has nothing. It makes you think."
Zapp,"One day a man has everything, the next day he blows up a $400 billion space station and the next day he has nothing. It makes you think.",Kif,"No, it doesn't."
Kif,"No, it doesn't.",Zapp,"That's an order, soldier."
Zapp,"That's an order, soldier.",Fry,"Hey, Bender?"
Fry,"Hey, Bender?",Bender,Yeah?
Bender,Yeah?,Leela,"Alright, this is the third hose fight I've broken up today and the second one using actual hoses. Now move your lazy asses and start scrubbing the ship like I ordered you to."
Leela,"Alright, this is the third hose fight I've broken up today and the second one using actual hoses. Now move your lazy asses and start scrubbing the ship like I ordered you to.",Fry,"You don't have to get so mad, Leela."
Fry,"You don't have to get so mad, Leela.",Bender,"Yeah, Fry already wiped off some of the dirt with his finger."
Bender,"Yeah, Fry already wiped off some of the dirt with his finger.",Leela,Zapp?
Leela,Zapp?,Zapp,"Leela, I didn't know where else to turn. You're the only woman who ever loved me."
Zapp,"Leela, I didn't know where else to turn. You're the only woman who ever loved me.",Leela,loved you.
Leela,loved you.,Zapp,I mean physically.
Zapp,I mean physically.,Leela,What do you want?
Leela,What do you want?,Zapp,"Just let me work for a little food. Perhaps I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floors."
Zapp,"Just let me work for a little food. Perhaps I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floors.",Leela,You don't know how to do any of those things.
Leela,You don't know how to do any of those things.,Zapp,Kif might.
Zapp,Kif might.,Farnsworth,"Leela, who are you talking to?"
Farnsworth,"Leela, who are you talking to?",Zapp,Just a broken-down hobo who's hit rock-bottom. And his commanding officer.
Zapp,Just a broken-down hobo who's hit rock-bottom. And his commanding officer.,Farnsworth,Come in.
Farnsworth,Come in.,Farnsworth,Which ones are new?
Farnsworth,Which ones are new?,Hermes,The green dude and the fat man.
Hermes,The green dude and the fat man.,Farnsworth,"Hmm, I could swear I've never seen that robot before either."
Farnsworth,"Hmm, I could swear I've never seen that robot before either.",Bender,I'm Bender. You know? The lovable rascal.
Bender,I'm Bender. You know? The lovable rascal.,"Farnsworth,",a planet with such high gravity you'll most likely be crushed under the weight of your own hair. Enjoy!
"Farnsworth,",a planet with such high gravity you'll most likely be crushed under the weight of your own hair. Enjoy!,Zapp,"So, this Leela. I know she's a very sensuous woman but what manner of captain is she?"
Zapp,"So, this Leela. I know she's a very sensuous woman but what manner of captain is she?",Fry,She's really strict.
Fry,She's really strict.,Bender,And mean.
Bender,And mean.,Zapp,I see. Does she by any chance give the crewmembers spankings?
Zapp,I see. Does she by any chance give the crewmembers spankings?,Fry,"No, she just makes us do work and stuff."
Fry,"No, she just makes us do work and stuff.",Zapp,"Good, good. But should she ever institute some sort of bare-bottom spanking policy, let me go in your place. I won't have my comrades harmed."
Zapp,"Good, good. But should she ever institute some sort of bare-bottom spanking policy, let me go in your place. I won't have my comrades harmed.",Bender,"Hey, this guy's alright!"
Bender,"Hey, this guy's alright!",Zapp,"Here's to us poor schmoes working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy, female man."
Zapp,"Here's to us poor schmoes working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy, female man.",Kif,"I've computed out landing co-ordinates, Captain."
Kif,"I've computed out landing co-ordinates, Captain.",Leela,"Thanks, Kif. Very nice work."
Leela,"Thanks, Kif. Very nice work.",Kif,"Wait, what?"
Kif,"Wait, what?",Leela,I said very nice work.
Leela,I said very nice work.,Kif,This is the happiest day of my life.
Kif,This is the happiest day of my life.,Leela,"OK, crew, listen up. Your job is to delivery these 40 pillows to that hotel."
Leela,"OK, crew, listen up. Your job is to delivery these 40 pillows to that hotel.",Bender,They're not very heavy but you don't hear me not complaining.
Bender,They're not very heavy but you don't hear me not complaining.,Leela,They're not heavy in here because we have an anti-grav pump. But once you get out on the surface the gravity will be very intense.
Leela,They're not heavy in here because we have an anti-grav pump. But once you get out on the surface the gravity will be very intense.,Fry,"Hey, no prob', this lead apron'll protect me."
Fry,"Hey, no prob', this lead apron'll protect me.",Leela,pillow at a time.
Leela,pillow at a time.,Bender,"Hey, here's an idea, let's deliver all the pillows at once."
Bender,"Hey, here's an idea, let's deliver all the pillows at once.",Fry,Yeah!
Fry,Yeah!,Zapp,That's using the old noodle!
Zapp,That's using the old noodle!,Zapp,"Come on, girdle. Hold!"
Zapp,"Come on, girdle. Hold!",Bender,Uh-oh.
Bender,Uh-oh.,Leela,What the hell happened?
Leela,What the hell happened?,Bender,"Some breaking occurred, the dolly was involved, that's about all we know."
Bender,"Some breaking occurred, the dolly was involved, that's about all we know.",Leela,I told you dumb apes not to overload it. Each of those pillows weighs 150lbs here.
Leela,I told you dumb apes not to overload it. Each of those pillows weighs 150lbs here.,Fry,"Alright, don't get your panties in a knot. We'll just use the back-up dolly."
Fry,"Alright, don't get your panties in a knot. We'll just use the back-up dolly.",Bender,I'll start loading up the pillows.
Bender,I'll start loading up the pillows.,Leela,"No way, Jack. You disobeyed an order, so now you have to deliver all 40 pillows by hand."
Leela,"No way, Jack. You disobeyed an order, so now you have to deliver all 40 pillows by hand.",Zapp,"Let me ask you a serious question, Leela: Does the company that made your bra make a girdle as well? I ask because a friend of mine..."
Zapp,"Let me ask you a serious question, Leela: Does the company that made your bra make a girdle as well? I ask because a friend of mine...",Leela,Just get to work.
Leela,Just get to work.,Bender,"I'm Leela, get to work, neh, neh, neh."
Bender,"I'm Leela, get to work, neh, neh, neh.",Fry,I agree.
Fry,I agree.,Kif,"The point is, it's just so humiliating working for that man. Once, he actually ordered me to ... shave his armpits while he was in the bathtub. So, I said--"
Kif,"The point is, it's just so humiliating working for that man. Once, he actually ordered me to ... shave his armpits while he was in the bathtub. So, I said--",Leela,"Y'know, why don't we talk about something besides Zapp for a while?"
Leela,"Y'know, why don't we talk about something besides Zapp for a while?",Kif,"Oh, alright. Um ... well ... how 'bout then, um... OK, well, there he was in the tub, alright?"
Kif,"Oh, alright. Um ... well ... how 'bout then, um... OK, well, there he was in the tub, alright?",Fry,"Ah, some good old high-gravity rain. That'll cool us off."
Fry,"Ah, some good old high-gravity rain. That'll cool us off.",Bender,This is all Leela's fault.
Bender,This is all Leela's fault.,Fry,"Yeah. If she had let us use the back-up dolly, we could have broken it, given up and gone home by now."
Fry,"Yeah. If she had let us use the back-up dolly, we could have broken it, given up and gone home by now.",Zapp,"Y'know, boys, a good captain needs many skills, such as boldness, daring and a velour uniform. And I'm not convinced Leela has any of those things."
Zapp,"Y'know, boys, a good captain needs many skills, such as boldness, daring and a velour uniform. And I'm not convinced Leela has any of those things.",Fry,"Ah, Leela's not that bad. I just wish she didn't make us work so much."
Fry,"Ah, Leela's not that bad. I just wish she didn't make us work so much.",Zapp,"Back when I was captain all I asked from my men was their complete loyalty. If I had that, then for all I cared they could sit around the whole day drinking beer in their underpants."
Zapp,"Back when I was captain all I asked from my men was their complete loyalty. If I had that, then for all I cared they could sit around the whole day drinking beer in their underpants.",Bender,Beer?
Bender,Beer?,Fry,Underpants?
Fry,Underpants?,Kif,"Oh, you hear that? I'm actually laughing!"
Kif,"Oh, you hear that? I'm actually laughing!",Fry,This is a mutiny.
Fry,This is a mutiny.,Bender,"You're outta here, lady. Zapp's the new captain."
Bender,"You're outta here, lady. Zapp's the new captain.",Fry,All hail the new captain.
Fry,All hail the new captain.,Zapp,"Leela, you might be a formidable do-er of the nasty but I am forced to relieve you of your post."
Zapp,"Leela, you might be a formidable do-er of the nasty but I am forced to relieve you of your post.",Leela,"On what grounds, you slobbering oaf?"
Leela,"On what grounds, you slobbering oaf?",Zapp,Failure to prevent a mutiny. Throw her in the brig.
Zapp,Failure to prevent a mutiny. Throw her in the brig.,Fry,We don't have a brig.
Fry,We don't have a brig.,Zapp,"Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as the brig."
Zapp,"Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as the brig.",Leela,You really don't want me to be captain anymore?
Leela,You really don't want me to be captain anymore?,Bender,"You got it, genius."
Bender,"You got it, genius.",Leela,"But, didn't I do a good job?"
Leela,"But, didn't I do a good job?",Fry,You were mean and you yelled and you made us do all that work.
Fry,You were mean and you yelled and you made us do all that work.,Leela,"Sometimes a captain needs to do those things. Besides I, I thought we were friends."
Leela,"Sometimes a captain needs to do those things. Besides I, I thought we were friends.",Fry,"Yeah, well, you shouldn't have been such a mean captain then."
Fry,"Yeah, well, you shouldn't have been such a mean captain then.",Bender,"Don't worry, Leela. Soon we'll be able to look back on this and laugh."
Bender,"Don't worry, Leela. Soon we'll be able to look back on this and laugh.",Zapp,"Back in my old uniform, and it nearly still fits. Even after all that fattening hobo cuisine."
Zapp,"Back in my old uniform, and it nearly still fits. Even after all that fattening hobo cuisine.",Kif,"What shall I do with your civilian clothes, sir?"
Kif,"What shall I do with your civilian clothes, sir?",Zapp,"So, do I have your loyalty, men?"
Zapp,"So, do I have your loyalty, men?",Bender,To the ends of the universe.
Bender,To the ends of the universe.,Fry,Ten hundred percent!
Fry,Ten hundred percent!,Zapp,That's not nearly loyal enough. I order you to sit around and drink beer until you're as loyal as Kif here.
Zapp,That's not nearly loyal enough. I order you to sit around and drink beer until you're as loyal as Kif here.,Bender,"Yes, sir, sir!"
Bender,"Yes, sir, sir!",Kif,"Um, may I have a beer, sir?"
Kif,"Um, may I have a beer, sir?",Zapp,"No. You're loyal enough already. Meanwhile, I have a plan. We will single-handedly attack our archenemy the Neutral Planet."
Zapp,"No. You're loyal enough already. Meanwhile, I have a plan. We will single-handedly attack our archenemy the Neutral Planet.",Kif,"Oh, jeez."
Kif,"Oh, jeez.",Zapp,"Once the neutral war machine lies in ruins, I'll be a hero again and the DOOP will reinstate me as captain."
Zapp,"Once the neutral war machine lies in ruins, I'll be a hero again and the DOOP will reinstate me as captain.",Kif,"But, sir, that plan makes no sense."
Kif,"But, sir, that plan makes no sense.",Zapp,"Maybe not to you, Kif, but if I recall correctly, you were court-martialled in disgrace."
Zapp,"Maybe not to you, Kif, but if I recall correctly, you were court-martialled in disgrace.",Fry,"Ooh, burn!"
Fry,"Ooh, burn!",Bender,"Nailed you, buddy!"
Bender,"Nailed you, buddy!",Zapp,Prepare to continue the epic struggle between good and neutral.
Zapp,Prepare to continue the epic struggle between good and neutral.,Fry,... and then we'll have pancakes to celebrate and I'll be like...
Fry,... and then we'll have pancakes to celebrate and I'll be like...,Zapp,"Precisely. Now, in the name of all that is good and honourable, we'll call the Neutral President with a message of peace, then blast him."
Zapp,"Precisely. Now, in the name of all that is good and honourable, we'll call the Neutral President with a message of peace, then blast him.",Bender,"Yes, sir, sirdy-sir-sir-sir!"
Bender,"Yes, sir, sirdy-sir-sir-sir!",Zapp,Fly the white flag of war.
Zapp,Fly the white flag of war.,Zapp,This is Zapp Brannigan of the good ship ... Planet Express Ship. I come swinging the olive branch of peace.
Zapp,This is Zapp Brannigan of the good ship ... Planet Express Ship. I come swinging the olive branch of peace.,Neutral,"President's Aide: Should we trust him, Your Neutralness?"
Neutral,"President's Aide: Should we trust him, Your Neutralness?",Neutral,President: All I know is my gut says maybe.
Neutral,President: All I know is my gut says maybe.,Bender,"What now, chief?"
Bender,"What now, chief?",Zapp,"Now we crash the ship into their headquarters, killing them in a hellish firestorm from which no living thing can escape."
Zapp,"Now we crash the ship into their headquarters, killing them in a hellish firestorm from which no living thing can escape.",Fry,"Good, good, then what?"
Fry,"Good, good, then what?",Zapp,"Then your mission is complete. I, meanwhile, will have ejected to safety, wearing the only spacesuit on board."
Zapp,"Then your mission is complete. I, meanwhile, will have ejected to safety, wearing the only spacesuit on board.",Fry,Wait a second. Is this plan gonna kill us?
Fry,Wait a second. Is this plan gonna kill us?,Zapp,Of course. What do you think I meant by loyalty? Now help me into the only spacesuit. It looks a bit sweaty in there so you may need to apply baby powder.
Zapp,Of course. What do you think I meant by loyalty? Now help me into the only spacesuit. It looks a bit sweaty in there so you may need to apply baby powder.,Fry,"Leela, we want you to be captain again."
Fry,"Leela, we want you to be captain again.",Leela,So he's about to kill us?
Leela,So he's about to kill us?,Fry,We want Leela to be captain again.
Fry,We want Leela to be captain again.,Zapp,"So it's mutiny, is it? I never thought I'd see the day. Come, Kif, let's eject. I found a children's spacesuit you can wear."
Zapp,"So it's mutiny, is it? I never thought I'd see the day. Come, Kif, let's eject. I found a children's spacesuit you can wear.",Kif,"To be honest, sir, I'd rather stay here with Captain Leela. She actually listens to what I have to--"
Kif,"To be honest, sir, I'd rather stay here with Captain Leela. She actually listens to what I have to--",Leela,We're gonna crash!
Leela,We're gonna crash!,Bender,And Fry.
Bender,And Fry.,Leela,"OK, OK. We have one chance. Are you willing to do what I say as captain?"
Leela,"OK, OK. We have one chance. Are you willing to do what I say as captain?",Fry,Absolutely.
Fry,Absolutely.,Leela,Even if I make you work hard?
Leela,Even if I make you work hard?,Bender,As your God is my witness.
Bender,As your God is my witness.,Leela,break and load all the dark matter into the left engine.
Leela,break and load all the dark matter into the left engine.,Bender,"Oh, man, that crap's heavy."
Bender,"Oh, man, that crap's heavy.",Fry,And warm.
Fry,And warm.,Leela,Just do it.
Leela,Just do it.,Neutral,"President's Aide: Your Neutralness, it's a beige alert."
Neutral,"President's Aide: Your Neutralness, it's a beige alert.",Neutral,"President: If I don't survive, tell my wife, Hello."
Neutral,"President: If I don't survive, tell my wife, Hello.",Leela,Hurry! I don't wanna die at the age of 25.
Leela,Hurry! I don't wanna die at the age of 25.,Bender,"Honey, unless we hit a time warp, I wouldn't worry about it."
Bender,"Honey, unless we hit a time warp, I wouldn't worry about it.",Fry,It's too low.
Fry,It's too low.,Bender,Quick.
Bender,Quick.,Leela,You did it! You actually did it!
Leela,You did it! You actually did it!,Fry,And no one will have to punish anyone for the mutiny.
Fry,And no one will have to punish anyone for the mutiny.,Zapp,"And so, when Captain Leela panicked, perhaps distracted by female troubles, my quick thinking allowed me to do whatever I did to save the day."
Zapp,"And so, when Captain Leela panicked, perhaps distracted by female troubles, my quick thinking allowed me to do whatever I did to save the day.",Glab,"Captain Leela, is this rambling story of magic and heroism true?"
Glab,"Captain Leela, is this rambling story of magic and heroism true?",Leela,"Well, actually--"
Leela,"Well, actually--",Farnsworth,That a girl! If they don't take him back we can keep him as captain.
Farnsworth,That a girl! If they don't take him back we can keep him as captain.,Leela,"Your Honour, it's all true: My female incompetence, Zapp's cat-like reflexes, the stuff that made no sense, all of it."
Leela,"Your Honour, it's all true: My female incompetence, Zapp's cat-like reflexes, the stuff that made no sense, all of it.",Glab,"In that case, Zapp Brannigan, I hereby restore your rank and parking privileges."
Glab,"In that case, Zapp Brannigan, I hereby restore your rank and parking privileges.",Farnsworth,"Oh, foo!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, foo!",Zapp,"Come, Kif, we've got work to do."
Zapp,"Come, Kif, we've got work to do.",Kif,I-I'll call and tell you about it.
Kif,I-I'll call and tell you about it.,Fry,"Leela, I just want you to know that even though you're mean, you're the best captain ever."
Fry,"Leela, I just want you to know that even though you're mean, you're the best captain ever.",Bender,"Yeah, you're one dynamite lady. Can we have a week off?"
Bender,"Yeah, you're one dynamite lady. Can we have a week off?",Leela,No.
Leela,No.,Fry,Please?
Fry,Please?,Bender,"Come on, Captain."
Bender,"Come on, Captain.",Leela,"Oh, alright."
Leela,"Oh, alright.",Farnsworth,No time off.
Farnsworth,No time off.,Fry,"Aw, man."
Fry,"Aw, man.",Leela,Let's mutiny!
Leela,Let's mutiny!,Narrator,"As per your request, please find enclosed the last man on earth."
Narrator,"As per your request, please find enclosed the last man on earth.",Man,"Hey, look at that weird mirror!"
Man,"Hey, look at that weird mirror!",Bender,Cursed by his own hubris!
Bender,Cursed by his own hubris!,Leela,"There's a political debate on! Quick, change the channel!"
Leela,"There's a political debate on! Quick, change the channel!",Bender,the debate!
Bender,the debate!,Leela,"Look, I know there are no car chases but this is important. One of these two men will become president of the world."
Leela,"Look, I know there are no car chases but this is important. One of these two men will become president of the world.",Fry,What do we care? We live in the United States.
Fry,What do we care? We live in the United States.,Leela,The United States is part of the world.
Leela,The United States is part of the world.,Fry,been gone a long time.
Fry,been gone a long time.,Johnson,It's time someone had the courage to stand up and say: I'm against those things that everybody hates.
Johnson,It's time someone had the courage to stand up and say: I'm against those things that everybody hates.,Jackson,"Now I respect my opponent. I think he's a good man but, quite frankly, I agree with everything he just said!"
Jackson,"Now I respect my opponent. I think he's a good man but, quite frankly, I agree with everything he just said!",Fry,clones!
Fry,clones!,Leela,Don't let their identical DNA fool you. They differ on some key issues.
Leela,Don't let their identical DNA fool you. They differ on some key issues.,Johnson,I say your three cent titanium tax goes too far.
Johnson,I say your three cent titanium tax goes too far.,Jackson,And I say your three cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough!
Jackson,And I say your three cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough!,Fry,"If I were registered to vote, I'd send these clowns a message by staying home on election day and dressing up like a clown."
Fry,"If I were registered to vote, I'd send these clowns a message by staying home on election day and dressing up like a clown.",Leela,You're not registered?
Leela,You're not registered?,Fry,"Nope. Not vaccinated either! Besides, it's not like one vote ever made a difference."
Fry,"Nope. Not vaccinated either! Besides, it's not like one vote ever made a difference.",Leela,That's not true; the first robot president won by exactly one vote.
Leela,That's not true; the first robot president won by exactly one vote.,Bender,"Ah, yes, John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a cord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree."
Bender,"Ah, yes, John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a cord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.",Farnsworth,"But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver."
Farnsworth,"But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.",Leela,"make a difference and even though it won't, I'm still taking you to get registered."
Leela,"make a difference and even though it won't, I'm still taking you to get registered.",Farnsworth,"Yes, that's a capital idea. Let's all go register!"
Farnsworth,"Yes, that's a capital idea. Let's all go register!",Fry,"Professor, when did you become so obsessed with voting?"
Fry,"Professor, when did you become so obsessed with voting?",Farnsworth,The very instant I became old.
Farnsworth,The very instant I became old.,Farnsworth,The problem with both parties is that they always want to give your tax dollars to the less fortunate.
Farnsworth,The problem with both parties is that they always want to give your tax dollars to the less fortunate.,Fry,The less fortunate get all the breaks!
Fry,The less fortunate get all the breaks!,Zoidberg,"You know, Fry, you could join a third party, maybe."
Zoidberg,"You know, Fry, you could join a third party, maybe.",Amy,Only weirdos and mutants join third parties.
Amy,Only weirdos and mutants join third parties.,Zoidberg,Really? I'd better keep an eye out at the next meeting.
Zoidberg,Really? I'd better keep an eye out at the next meeting.,Fry,"What party do you belong to, Bender?"
Fry,"What party do you belong to, Bender?",Bender,I'm not allowed to vote.
Bender,I'm not allowed to vote.,Fry,'Cause you're a robot?
Fry,'Cause you're a robot?,Bender,"No, convicted felon."
Bender,"No, convicted felon.",Woman,We favour unreasonably huge subsidies to the Brain Slug Planet.
Woman,We favour unreasonably huge subsidies to the Brain Slug Planet.,Fry,"OK, but what are the Brain Slugs who control you gonna do for the working man?"
Fry,"OK, but what are the Brain Slugs who control you gonna do for the working man?",Woman,Attach Brain Slugs to them.
Woman,Attach Brain Slugs to them.,Amy,"So, is it true you can make all kinds of shirts and ropes out of hemp?"
Amy,"So, is it true you can make all kinds of shirts and ropes out of hemp?",Stoned,"Guy: Dave's not here, man."
Stoned,"Guy: Dave's not here, man.",Amy,I also heard hemp makes great shampoo.
Amy,I also heard hemp makes great shampoo.,Stoned,Guy: It does? No way! I gotta check out this brochure!
Stoned,Guy: It does? No way! I gotta check out this brochure!,Farnsworth,So what are you doing to protect my constitutional right to bear doomsday devices?
Farnsworth,So what are you doing to protect my constitutional right to bear doomsday devices?,N.R.A.,"Man: Well, first off, we're gonna get rid of that three-day waiting period for mad scientists."
N.R.A.,"Man: Well, first off, we're gonna get rid of that three-day waiting period for mad scientists.",Farnsworth,"Damn straight! Today, the mad scientist can't get a doomsday device, tomorrow it's the mad grad student. Where will it end?"
Farnsworth,"Damn straight! Today, the mad scientist can't get a doomsday device, tomorrow it's the mad grad student. Where will it end?",N.R.A.,Man.
N.R.A.,Man.,Zoidberg,"Sure, humans are cute, but how else are we supposed to test cosmetics?"
Zoidberg,"Sure, humans are cute, but how else are we supposed to test cosmetics?",Hermes,I concur.
Hermes,I concur.,Fry,Now here's a party I can get excited about. Sign me up!
Fry,Now here's a party I can get excited about. Sign me up!,V.A.P.,"Man: Sorry, not with that attitude."
V.A.P.,"Man: Sorry, not with that attitude.",Fry,"OK then, screw it."
Fry,"OK then, screw it.",V.A.P.,"Man: Welcome aboard, brother!"
V.A.P.,"Man: Welcome aboard, brother!",Fry,Alright!
Fry,Alright!,V.A.P.,Man: You're out.
V.A.P.,Man: You're out.,Fry,That was pretty cool. I think I'm actually starting to get interested in politics.
Fry,That was pretty cool. I think I'm actually starting to get interested in politics.,Linda,"And so, with two weeks left in the campaign, the question on everyone's mind is who will be the next President of Earth? Jack Johnson or bitter rival John Jackson? Two terrific candidates, huh, Morbo?"
Linda,"And so, with two weeks left in the campaign, the question on everyone's mind is who will be the next President of Earth? Jack Johnson or bitter rival John Jackson? Two terrific candidates, huh, Morbo?",Morbo,All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo.
Morbo,All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo.,Linda,"In other local news, disaster struck on Saturn's moon of Titan today, when a titanium mine collapsed, trapping 1,000 robot workers."
Linda,"In other local news, disaster struck on Saturn's moon of Titan today, when a titanium mine collapsed, trapping 1,000 robot workers.",Bender,What? Lord have mercy!
Bender,What? Lord have mercy!,Linda,"Sir, what rescue operations are planned?"
Linda,"Sir, what rescue operations are planned?",Mine,Spokesman is basically to pave over the area and get on with our lives.
Mine,Spokesman is basically to pave over the area and get on with our lives.,Morbo,News of the mines closing sent titanium prices skyrocketing.
Morbo,News of the mines closing sent titanium prices skyrocketing.,Bender,Alright! I'm rich!
Bender,Alright! I'm rich!,Leela,What are you talking about?
Leela,What are you talking about?,Bender,I'm finally richer than those snooty ATM machines.
Bender,I'm finally richer than those snooty ATM machines.,Fry,Too bad you can't spend it.
Fry,Too bad you can't spend it.,Bender,"Oh, can't I?"
Bender,"Oh, can't I?",Fry,No.
Fry,No.,Bender,"Watch me, poor man."
Bender,"Watch me, poor man.",Pawnbroker,Pleasure doing business with you.
Pawnbroker,Pleasure doing business with you.,Bender,You just lost five dollars!
Bender,You just lost five dollars!,Bender,Thank you!
Bender,Thank you!,Bender,"Hello, peasants."
Bender,"Hello, peasants.",Leela,Bender? What happened to you?
Leela,Bender? What happened to you?,Fry,"Yeah, you look different. Did you get a haircut?"
Fry,"Yeah, you look different. Did you get a haircut?",Bender,"No, I sold my body."
Bender,"No, I sold my body.",Farnsworth,"Sold your body? Oh, Bender, I've been down that road. I know it's glamorous and the parties are great but you'll end up spending every dollar you make on jewellery and skintight pants."
Farnsworth,"Sold your body? Oh, Bender, I've been down that road. I know it's glamorous and the parties are great but you'll end up spending every dollar you make on jewellery and skintight pants.",Fry,"This is crazy, Bender. How are you gonna live without a body?"
Fry,"This is crazy, Bender. How are you gonna live without a body?",Bender,Pft! Bodies are for hookers and fat people! All I need is a wad of cash with a head wrapped around it.
Bender,Pft! Bodies are for hookers and fat people! All I need is a wad of cash with a head wrapped around it.,Fry,"Well, at least now you can pay off your loan shark."
Fry,"Well, at least now you can pay off your loan shark.",Bender,"Yeah, right. What's he gonna do, break my legs?"
Bender,"Yeah, right. What's he gonna do, break my legs?",Bender,"Ah, this is the life. Another martini, please."
Bender,"Ah, this is the life. Another martini, please.",Bender,"Aw, yeah!"
Bender,"Aw, yeah!",Bender,Put it all on black.
Bender,Put it all on black.,Croupier,I beg your pardon. 33 black.
Croupier,I beg your pardon. 33 black.,Bender,Yes! The rich get richer!
Bender,Yes! The rich get richer!,Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Bender,Timber!
Bender,Timber!,Fry,"Hey, Bender, can I take a ride in your car?"
Fry,"Hey, Bender, can I take a ride in your car?",Bender,"Maybe if you clean up first. It looks like your neck stepped in something. Oh, I'm sorry, that's just your body!"
Bender,"Maybe if you clean up first. It looks like your neck stepped in something. Oh, I'm sorry, that's just your body!",Fry,Hey! You look me in the shins and say that.
Fry,Hey! You look me in the shins and say that.,Bender,"Uh, could one of you coffin stuffers please carry me?"
Bender,"Uh, could one of you coffin stuffers please carry me?",Bender,"Now, which group of heads is good enough for me to hang out with? What do you think, Fry? Fry?"
Bender,"Now, which group of heads is good enough for me to hang out with? What do you think, Fry? Fry?",Schiffer,"Hi, I'm Claudia Schiffer's head."
Schiffer,"Hi, I'm Claudia Schiffer's head.",Fry,I recognise you. Didn't you use to have a body of some sort?
Fry,I recognise you. Didn't you use to have a body of some sort?,Schiffer,"Yeah, but it was holding me back. You know, I just did the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimcap Issue."
Schiffer,"Yeah, but it was holding me back. You know, I just did the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimcap Issue.",Fry,"Well, you're looking great."
Fry,"Well, you're looking great.",Schiffer,Thanks. I wouldn't mind losing a few pounds though.
Schiffer,Thanks. I wouldn't mind losing a few pounds though.,Fry,Couldn't hurt.
Fry,Couldn't hurt.,Clinton,"Hey, sugar cookie. You know, legally, nothing I can do counts as sex anymore."
Clinton,"Hey, sugar cookie. You know, legally, nothing I can do counts as sex anymore.",Ford,"I apologise for his rudeness, ma'am. He gets this way around meaty-looking women."
Ford,"I apologise for his rudeness, ma'am. He gets this way around meaty-looking women.",Fry,"Hey, I remember you. I was gonna vote for you one time. But voting isn't cool so I stayed home alone and got trashed on Listerine."
Fry,"Hey, I remember you. I was gonna vote for you one time. But voting isn't cool so I stayed home alone and got trashed on Listerine.",Ford,"Frankly, I've never felt voting to be all that essential to the process."
Ford,"Frankly, I've never felt voting to be all that essential to the process.",Nixon,"No kidding, Ford."
Nixon,"No kidding, Ford.",Bender,"So then the hookerbot says, That's not my expansion slot and my friend says, That's not my gold-plated 25-pin connector!"
Bender,"So then the hookerbot says, That's not my expansion slot and my friend says, That's not my gold-plated 25-pin connector!",Washington,"Oh, Bender. Thou robots really cracketh me up."
Washington,"Oh, Bender. Thou robots really cracketh me up.",Bender,"You know, I like it here. What's the rent on one of these jars?"
Bender,"You know, I like it here. What's the rent on one of these jars?",George,"H.W. Bush: Sorry, Bender, but we just can't allow every Tom, Dick, and Harry to move in. No offence, Jefferson, Nixon and Truman."
George,"H.W. Bush: Sorry, Bender, but we just can't allow every Tom, Dick, and Harry to move in. No offence, Jefferson, Nixon and Truman.",Carter,Maybe Mr. Bender can get a spot in the closet of presidential losers.
Carter,Maybe Mr. Bender can get a spot in the closet of presidential losers.,Dole,Bob Dole needs company. LaRouche won't stop with the knock knock jokes.
Dole,Bob Dole needs company. LaRouche won't stop with the knock knock jokes.,Bender,Pass.
Bender,Pass.,Washington,"So, telleth, Bender. What hath happened to your body?"
Washington,"So, telleth, Bender. What hath happened to your body?",Bender,I hocked it.
Bender,I hocked it.,Washington,Hocked it? Why wouldst thou do that?
Washington,Hocked it? Why wouldst thou do that?,Bender,Same reason you hocked your teeth.
Bender,Same reason you hocked your teeth.,Washington,Ah. Booze money.
Washington,Ah. Booze money.,Nixon,"I remember my body; flabby, pastey-skinned, riddled with phlebitis. A good Republican body! God, I loved it."
Nixon,"I remember my body; flabby, pastey-skinned, riddled with phlebitis. A good Republican body! God, I loved it.",Fry,"I hear that. I spent most of my teen years loving my body. Course, it was tough love but-- Ooh!"
Fry,"I hear that. I spent most of my teen years loving my body. Course, it was tough love but-- Ooh!",Leela,"Fry, he opened up relations with China. He doesn't want to hear about your ding-dong."
Leela,"Fry, he opened up relations with China. He doesn't want to hear about your ding-dong.",Bender,"So, Nixon. Even if you miss your body, being a head's great too, right?"
Bender,"So, Nixon. Even if you miss your body, being a head's great too, right?",Nixon,"No, son. It's a sad and lonely life."
Nixon,"No, son. It's a sad and lonely life.",Bender,"Oh, great. Now you tell me!"
Bender,"Oh, great. Now you tell me!",Nixon,That's my style. I like to kick 'em when they're down!
Nixon,That's my style. I like to kick 'em when they're down!,Bender,"Ones ... zeros ... one, one, zero, zero, one--"
Bender,"Ones ... zeros ... one, one, zero, zero, one--",Fry,"Bender, what is it?"
Fry,"Bender, what is it?",Bender,"Whoa, what an awful dream. Ones and zeros everywhere. And I thought I saw a two."
Bender,"Whoa, what an awful dream. Ones and zeros everywhere. And I thought I saw a two.",Fry,"It was just a dream, Bender. There's no such thing as two."
Fry,"It was just a dream, Bender. There's no such thing as two.",Bender,"I know what this is about. My body loved me, and I turned it's back on it. Well, old friend, tie a yellow ribbon round your neck, 'cause I'm a-comin' home!"
Bender,"I know what this is about. My body loved me, and I turned it's back on it. Well, old friend, tie a yellow ribbon round your neck, 'cause I'm a-comin' home!",Bender,You sold my body? To who?
Bender,You sold my body? To who?,Pawnbroker,"I can't reveal that information, but you look like a nice robot. Tell you what, I'll give you 50 bucks for the kid."
Pawnbroker,"I can't reveal that information, but you look like a nice robot. Tell you what, I'll give you 50 bucks for the kid.",Fry,"Hey, my clothes are worth 50 bucks!"
Fry,"Hey, my clothes are worth 50 bucks!",Pawnbroker,Deal.
Pawnbroker,Deal.,Bender,Oh! How could I let this happen? I can't go through the rest of my life like this.
Bender,Oh! How could I let this happen? I can't go through the rest of my life like this.,Farnsworth,Don't you have a self-destruct button?
Farnsworth,Don't you have a self-destruct button?,Bender,"Yeah, but it's on my body. What am I gonna do?"
Bender,"Yeah, but it's on my body. What am I gonna do?",Fry,"Ah, I can't stand to see a robot cry. Let's watch TV!"
Fry,"Ah, I can't stand to see a robot cry. Let's watch TV!",Nixon,"And so, ladies and gentlemen, I'm throwing my head into the ring. I'm announcing my candidacy for the presidency of Earth."
Nixon,"And so, ladies and gentlemen, I'm throwing my head into the ring. I'm announcing my candidacy for the presidency of Earth.",Journalist,#1: Just one question.
Journalist,#1: Just one question.,Scoop,"Chang: Scoop Chang, Beijing Bugle. Sir, the constitution clearly states that nobody can be elected president more than twice."
Scoop,"Chang: Scoop Chang, Beijing Bugle. Sir, the constitution clearly states that nobody can be elected president more than twice.",Nixon,"But as you can plainly see, I've got a shiny new body!"
Nixon,"But as you can plainly see, I've got a shiny new body!",Bender,Oh!
Bender,Oh!,Leela,"Bender, he's got your body!"
Leela,"Bender, he's got your body!",Bender,"That dirty, double-crossing bastard! How dare he run off with Richard Nixon!"
Bender,"That dirty, double-crossing bastard! How dare he run off with Richard Nixon!",Leela,Nixon must have bought your body from the pawn shop.
Leela,Nixon must have bought your body from the pawn shop.,Fry,"Yeah, and that electric guitar."
Fry,"Yeah, and that electric guitar.",Nixon,I am not a crook's head!
Nixon,I am not a crook's head!,Bender,"Yeah, you are, you stole my body! Fry, Leela, you gotta help me!"
Bender,"Yeah, you are, you stole my body! Fry, Leela, you gotta help me!",Leela,"Ordinarily I'd say no and lecture you on how this is your own fault for being such an idiot. But when a robotic Nixon is on the loose, we have a duty to take action. Idiot."
Leela,"Ordinarily I'd say no and lecture you on how this is your own fault for being such an idiot. But when a robotic Nixon is on the loose, we have a duty to take action. Idiot.",Morbo,"Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates: Puny Human #1, Puny Human #2, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon."
Morbo,"Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates: Puny Human #1, Puny Human #2, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.",Nixon,"Hello, Morbo. How's the family?"
Nixon,"Hello, Morbo. How's the family?",Morbo,Belligerent and numerous.
Morbo,Belligerent and numerous.,Nixon,Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.
Nixon,Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.,Bender,"Great. First he steals my body, now he's touching my stuff."
Bender,"Great. First he steals my body, now he's touching my stuff.",Leela,Come on. We've gotta find some way to talk to him.
Leela,Come on. We've gotta find some way to talk to him.,Morbo,Morbo demands an answer to the following question: If you saw delicious candy in the hands of a small child would you seize and consume it?
Morbo,Morbo demands an answer to the following question: If you saw delicious candy in the hands of a small child would you seize and consume it?,Johnson,Unthinkable.
Johnson,Unthinkable.,Jackson,I wouldn't think of it.
Jackson,I wouldn't think of it.,Morbo,"What about you, Mr. Nixon? I remind you, you are under a truth-o-scope."
Morbo,"What about you, Mr. Nixon? I remind you, you are under a truth-o-scope.",Nixon,"At any rate, I certainly wouldn't harm the child."
Nixon,"At any rate, I certainly wouldn't harm the child.",Nixon's,"campaign manager: You scored big points tonight, sir."
Nixon's,"campaign manager: You scored big points tonight, sir.",Nixon,What are you talking about? They ate me alive out there.
Nixon,What are you talking about? They ate me alive out there.,Nixon's,"campaign manager: Yes, but your body stayed on message. And that message is, Look at my shiny new body. The robots ate it up. You've got real charisma from the neck down."
Nixon's,"campaign manager: Yes, but your body stayed on message. And that message is, Look at my shiny new body. The robots ate it up. You've got real charisma from the neck down.",Nixon,"Nixon with charisma? My God, I can rule the universe!"
Nixon,"Nixon with charisma? My God, I can rule the universe!",Bender,"Give me my body back, you two-bit thief!"
Bender,"Give me my body back, you two-bit thief!",Nixon,"Shut up, damnit!"
Nixon,"Shut up, damnit!",Fry,"Please, Mr. Nixon. We're appealing to your sense of decency."
Fry,"Please, Mr. Nixon. We're appealing to your sense of decency.",Bender,That was a good one!
Bender,That was a good one!,Nixon,"Seriously though, I'm never giving back this body. Now beat it! Before I get Cambodian on your asses!"
Nixon,"Seriously though, I'm never giving back this body. Now beat it! Before I get Cambodian on your asses!",Bender,It's hopeless. We might as well turn in my head for the five cent deposit.
Bender,It's hopeless. We might as well turn in my head for the five cent deposit.,Fry,"cents! Leela, I've got a plan!"
Fry,"cents! Leela, I've got a plan!",Leela,I've got a better plan.
Leela,I've got a better plan.,Fry,Why would Nixon stay at the Watergate?
Fry,Why would Nixon stay at the Watergate?,Leela,They give you a discount if you've been here before.
Leela,They give you a discount if you've been here before.,Fry,"Keep going, we're right behind you."
Fry,"Keep going, we're right behind you.",Bender,"Whoa, mama! Get a room, you two!"
Bender,"Whoa, mama! Get a room, you two!",Man,We're in a room!
Man,We're in a room!,Bender,Well then lose some weight.
Bender,Well then lose some weight.,Nixon,Aroo!
Nixon,Aroo!,Nixon,"Oh, yeah. You women's libbers really know how to party!"
Nixon,"Oh, yeah. You women's libbers really know how to party!",Bender,Psst! There I am!
Bender,Psst! There I am!,Nixon,"Hey, Betty Friedan, send a little of that lotion my way!"
Nixon,"Hey, Betty Friedan, send a little of that lotion my way!",Leela,"OK, almost got it. Steady. Steady. Don't panic."
Leela,"OK, almost got it. Steady. Steady. Don't panic.",Fry,Uh-oh!
Fry,Uh-oh!,Nixon,You shaggy peaceniks have some nerve!
Nixon,You shaggy peaceniks have some nerve!,Bender,I'm just here for what's mine. Don't make me kick your neck.
Bender,I'm just here for what's mine. Don't make me kick your neck.,Nixon,"Bring it on, soup can."
Nixon,"Bring it on, soup can.",Leela,"Alright, break it up, you two!"
Leela,"Alright, break it up, you two!",Nixon,"That's it. You're all going to jail. And don't expect me to grant a pardon like that sissy, Ford."
Nixon,"That's it. You're all going to jail. And don't expect me to grant a pardon like that sissy, Ford.",Leela,You'll never pardon anybody because you'll never get elected president. The voters of Earth aren't the pea-brained idiots they were back in your time.
Leela,You'll never pardon anybody because you'll never get elected president. The voters of Earth aren't the pea-brained idiots they were back in your time.,Nixon,"over the years. And once I'm swept into office, I'll sell our children's organs to zoos for meat and I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place."
Nixon,"over the years. And once I'm swept into office, I'll sell our children's organs to zoos for meat and I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place.",Fry,"Well, he lost my vote."
Fry,"Well, he lost my vote.",Nixon,"Like one vote ever made a difference. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to inch myself over to the phone and call the police."
Nixon,"Like one vote ever made a difference. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to inch myself over to the phone and call the police.",Bender,"Not so fast, Nixon! Are you familiar with audio tape?"
Bender,"Not so fast, Nixon! Are you familiar with audio tape?",Nixon,Uh-oh. I don't like where this is heading.
Nixon,Uh-oh. I don't like where this is heading.,Nixon,And I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place!
Nixon,And I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place!,Nixon,My God? I really sound like that? I thought my voice had more of a Clark Gable quality.
Nixon,My God? I really sound like that? I thought my voice had more of a Clark Gable quality.,Leela,"The jig's up, Nixon. We'll trade you the tape for the body."
Leela,"The jig's up, Nixon. We'll trade you the tape for the body.",Nixon,"Oh, expletive deleted. You've got a deal."
Nixon,"Oh, expletive deleted. You've got a deal.",Fry,"Hey, I've got one last thought."
Fry,"Hey, I've got one last thought.",Bender,"Ah, it's good to be back in one piece again. Except I can't get these damn bumper stickers off."
Bender,"Ah, it's good to be back in one piece again. Except I can't get these damn bumper stickers off.",Linda,The sheer drama of this election has driven voter turnout to its highest level in centuries. 6%
Linda,The sheer drama of this election has driven voter turnout to its highest level in centuries. 6%,Morbo,Exit polls show evil underdog Richard Nixon trailing with an estimated zero votes.
Morbo,Exit polls show evil underdog Richard Nixon trailing with an estimated zero votes.,Leela,Yes! The system works!
Leela,Yes! The system works!,Linda,The time is 7:59 and the robot polls are now opening ... and the robot vote is in. Nixon has won!
Linda,The time is 7:59 and the robot polls are now opening ... and the robot vote is in. Nixon has won!,Leela,No!
Leela,No!,Fry,What?
Fry,What?,Bender,Get out of town!
Bender,Get out of town!,Fry,Why would robots vote for Nixon now that he's just a head in a jar?
Fry,Why would robots vote for Nixon now that he's just a head in a jar?,Nixon's,campaign manager: I give you the next president of Earth!
Nixon's,campaign manager: I give you the next president of Earth!,Nixon,Nixon's back!
Nixon,Nixon's back!,Farnsworth,I can't believe it. He won by a single vote.
Farnsworth,I can't believe it. He won by a single vote.,Bender,"Well it ain't my fault. I'm a non-voting felon, thank you."
Bender,"Well it ain't my fault. I'm a non-voting felon, thank you.",Fry,Well it's not my fault either 'cause I forgot to vote.
Fry,Well it's not my fault either 'cause I forgot to vote.,Leela,"Oh, crud. I knew there was something I meant to do today."
Leela,"Oh, crud. I knew there was something I meant to do today.",Morbo,Morbo congratulates our gargantuan cyborg president. May death come quickly to his enemies.
Morbo,Morbo congratulates our gargantuan cyborg president. May death come quickly to his enemies.,Nixon,"Knock, knock!"
Nixon,"Knock, knock!",Announcer,"Ladies and gentlemen, Conan O'Brien's head."
Announcer,"Ladies and gentlemen, Conan O'Brien's head.",O'Brien,"So, people are getting pretty worried about this Y2K problem, huh?"
O'Brien,"So, people are getting pretty worried about this Y2K problem, huh?",Bender,"No, they fixed that 900 years ago."
Bender,"No, they fixed that 900 years ago.",O'Brien,"Just bear with me, sir. Anyway, I'm walking to work this morning--"
O'Brien,"Just bear with me, sir. Anyway, I'm walking to work this morning--",Bender,I doubt it!
Bender,I doubt it!,O'Brien,"Listen, pal, I may have lost my freakishly long legs in the war of 2012 but I've still got something you'll never have: A soul!"
O'Brien,"Listen, pal, I may have lost my freakishly long legs in the war of 2012 but I've still got something you'll never have: A soul!",Bender,Eh.
Bender,Eh.,O'Brien,"Well, I'm out of material. You can catch me next week at the Andromeda Chuckle Hut. Enjoy your breakfast."
O'Brien,"Well, I'm out of material. You can catch me next week at the Andromeda Chuckle Hut. Enjoy your breakfast.",Bender,funny!
Bender,funny!,Farnsworth,"Come on, everyone. Perhaps some skiing will help us forget the mouldy old antics of Conan O'Brien."
Farnsworth,"Come on, everyone. Perhaps some skiing will help us forget the mouldy old antics of Conan O'Brien.",Amy,Yeah!
Amy,Yeah!,Leela,Great idea!
Leela,Great idea!,Zoidberg,We can only hope!
Zoidberg,We can only hope!,Fry,This snow is beautiful. I'm glad global warming never happened.
Fry,This snow is beautiful. I'm glad global warming never happened.,Leela,Actually it did. But thank God nuclear winter cancelled it out.
Leela,Actually it did. But thank God nuclear winter cancelled it out.,Fry,Hi!
Fry,Hi!,Bender,"Enough of your mindless chitchat, let's get going."
Bender,"Enough of your mindless chitchat, let's get going.",Hermes,Jah damnit! We're stuck.
Hermes,Jah damnit! We're stuck.,Zoidberg,At least you're not cold-blooded!
Zoidberg,At least you're not cold-blooded!,Hermes,Sweet lion of Zion! Look at the Professor go.
Hermes,Sweet lion of Zion! Look at the Professor go.,Fry,Look out! We're heading straight for those trees!
Fry,Look out! We're heading straight for those trees!,Leela,"Yeah, yeah, relax. Trees down."
Leela,"Yeah, yeah, relax. Trees down.",Trees,Trees down.
Trees,Trees down.,Fry,"Cool. Hey, what do you do if you want the trees up?"
Fry,"Cool. Hey, what do you do if you want the trees up?",Trees,Trees up.
Trees,Trees up.,Fry,Trees down!
Fry,Trees down!,Trees,Trees down.
Trees,Trees down.,Bender,"Lookin' good, meatball!"
Bender,"Lookin' good, meatball!",Man,"#1: Excuse me, sir, you're snowboarding off the trail."
Man,"#1: Excuse me, sir, you're snowboarding off the trail.",Bender,Uh-oh!
Bender,Uh-oh!,Child,Mommy!
Child,Mommy!,Zoidberg,"You, a bobsledder? That I'd like to see!"
Zoidberg,"You, a bobsledder? That I'd like to see!",Hermes,"Listen, you filthy crab, a thousand years ago there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsledders."
Hermes,"Listen, you filthy crab, a thousand years ago there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsledders.",Fry,"Yup, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics then retired to promote alcoholic beverages."
Fry,"Yup, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics then retired to promote alcoholic beverages.",Hermes,Nooo!
Hermes,Nooo!,Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Amy,You poor man. What happened to you?
Amy,You poor man. What happened to you?,Man,"#2: Well, there I was on the triple diamond slope, when suddenly--"
Man,"#2: Well, there I was on the triple diamond slope, when suddenly--",Amy,"Hello, there!"
Amy,"Hello, there!",Farnsworth,Wha?
Farnsworth,Wha?,Bender,Ah! Nothing like a warm fire and a Super Soaker of fine cognac.
Bender,Ah! Nothing like a warm fire and a Super Soaker of fine cognac.,Fry,"Yeah, it really puts you in the Christmas spirit."
Fry,"Yeah, it really puts you in the Christmas spirit.",Farnsworth,What-mas?
Farnsworth,What-mas?,Fry,Christmas. You know? X-M-A-S.
Fry,Christmas. You know? X-M-A-S.,Leela,"Oh, you mean Xmas. You must be using an archaic pronunciation. Like when you say ask instead of aks."
Leela,"Oh, you mean Xmas. You must be using an archaic pronunciation. Like when you say ask instead of aks.",Fry,"Y'know, this'll be my first Xmas away from home."
Fry,"Y'know, this'll be my first Xmas away from home.",Leela,"Hey, hey. Let me aks you something: Would it cheer you up if we went and cut down an Xmas tree?"
Leela,"Hey, hey. Let me aks you something: Would it cheer you up if we went and cut down an Xmas tree?",Fry,Yeah! An old-fashioned Xmas tree!
Fry,Yeah! An old-fashioned Xmas tree!,Fry,Hey! These aren't Xmas trees!
Fry,Hey! These aren't Xmas trees!,Farnsworth,"Eh, wha?"
Farnsworth,"Eh, wha?",Fry,"They're supposed to be some kinda, you know, pine tree."
Fry,"They're supposed to be some kinda, you know, pine tree.",Farnsworth,Ah! Brisk!
Farnsworth,Ah! Brisk!,Fry,This isn't the way Christmas is supposed to be.
Fry,This isn't the way Christmas is supposed to be.,Farnsworth,"There, there."
Farnsworth,"There, there.",Fry,Everything's changed.
Fry,Everything's changed.,Leela,That's not true.
Leela,That's not true.,Bender,": Xmas tree, oh, Xmas tree! Bah-boo-bee-boo-bah-bee-boh."
Bender,": Xmas tree, oh, Xmas tree! Bah-boo-bee-boo-bah-bee-boh.",Amy,Ow!
Amy,Ow!,Fry,This dumb holiday just makes me think of all the things I left behind. Let's just stop talking about Xmas.
Fry,This dumb holiday just makes me think of all the things I left behind. Let's just stop talking about Xmas.,Hermes,haul for Bender.
Hermes,haul for Bender.,Bender,Yes! I got the most! I win Xmas!
Bender,Yes! I got the most! I win Xmas!,Hermes,"And last, but not least, the sweet flower of the office: Me. Hermes Conrad."
Hermes,"And last, but not least, the sweet flower of the office: Me. Hermes Conrad.",Bender,"Ah, a picture of my mommy."
Bender,"Ah, a picture of my mommy.",Zoidberg,Instead of Claus he writes Claws! Now that's humorous. Today's comedians could learn from this card.
Zoidberg,Instead of Claus he writes Claws! Now that's humorous. Today's comedians could learn from this card.,Fry!,What was that about?
Fry!,What was that about?,Amy,Fluh! She's an orphan.
Amy,Fluh! She's an orphan.,Farnsworth,"Yes, and the only one of her species in all the known universe. What a lonely life."
Farnsworth,"Yes, and the only one of her species in all the known universe. What a lonely life.",Fry,My God! Poor Leela.
Fry,My God! Poor Leela.,Bender,"Oh, man, I gotta work on my act!"
Bender,"Oh, man, I gotta work on my act!",Fry,I feel like a rat. Here I am whining like a pig while all along Leela was lonely as a frog. I could kick myself.
Fry,I feel like a rat. Here I am whining like a pig while all along Leela was lonely as a frog. I could kick myself.,Amy,I'll do it for you.
Amy,I'll do it for you.,Fry,Ow! Thanks.
Fry,Ow! Thanks.,Farnsworth,"You should be ashamed of yourself, Fry. You'd have to be blind not to notice that Leela's a cyclops."
Farnsworth,"You should be ashamed of yourself, Fry. You'd have to be blind not to notice that Leela's a cyclops.",Hermes,"Fry's over there, man."
Hermes,"Fry's over there, man.",Farnsworth,Oh?
Farnsworth,Oh?,Bender,Xmas Eve; another pointless day where I accomplish nothing.
Bender,Xmas Eve; another pointless day where I accomplish nothing.,Linda,The holiday season is a time of celebration for most. But it is also a time to remember the tragic suffering of the less fortunate.
Linda,The holiday season is a time of celebration for most. But it is also a time to remember the tragic suffering of the less fortunate.,Morbo,Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering.
Morbo,Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering.,Linda,"Homeless robots, too poor to afford even the basic alcohol they need to fuel their circuits. Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies. And there would have to be a lot of them."
Linda,"Homeless robots, too poor to afford even the basic alcohol they need to fuel their circuits. Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies. And there would have to be a lot of them.",Amy,"Where are you going, Bender?"
Amy,"Where are you going, Bender?",Bender,To volunteer at a liquor kitchen for homeless robots.
Bender,To volunteer at a liquor kitchen for homeless robots.,Hermes,"Yeah, right! As if you ever did anything charitable."
Hermes,"Yeah, right! As if you ever did anything charitable.",Bender,I'm very generous. What about that time I gave blood?
Bender,I'm very generous. What about that time I gave blood?,Fry,Whose blood?
Fry,Whose blood?,Bender,Some guy's.
Bender,Some guy's.,Fry,I've got to do something to show Leela how sorry I am.
Fry,I've got to do something to show Leela how sorry I am.,Zoidberg,So what's the problem? Just get down on your claws and do the apology dance.
Zoidberg,So what's the problem? Just get down on your claws and do the apology dance.,Fry,"So it's left, left, right-- Wait! I have a better idea! I'll go out and get her the perfect Xmas present. Something so great she'll never want to be unhappy again."
Fry,"So it's left, left, right-- Wait! I have a better idea! I'll go out and get her the perfect Xmas present. Something so great she'll never want to be unhappy again.",Hermes,"Just be back by sundown, mon."
Hermes,"Just be back by sundown, mon.",Fry,We'll see. I like to haggle.
Fry,We'll see. I like to haggle.,Amy,You can't stay out on Xmas Eve. You'll be killed!
Amy,You can't stay out on Xmas Eve. You'll be killed!,Fry,Say what?
Fry,Say what?,Farnsworth,Good Lord! He doesn't know about Santa Claus.
Farnsworth,Good Lord! He doesn't know about Santa Claus.,Fry,I know about Santa Claus.
Fry,I know about Santa Claus.,Farnsworth,"Back in 2801, the Friendly Robot Company built a robotic Santa to determine who'd be naughty and who'd been nice and distribute presents accordingly. But something went wrong."
Farnsworth,"Back in 2801, the Friendly Robot Company built a robotic Santa to determine who'd be naughty and who'd been nice and distribute presents accordingly. But something went wrong.",Fry,Wow! 2801! Anyway...
Fry,Wow! 2801! Anyway...,Farnsworth,"Wait, you fool! Due to a programming error, Santa's standards were set too high and he invariably judges everyone to be naughty."
Farnsworth,"Wait, you fool! Due to a programming error, Santa's standards were set too high and he invariably judges everyone to be naughty.",Amy,"If he catches you after dark, he'll chop off your head and stuff your neck full of toys from his sack of horrors."
Amy,"If he catches you after dark, he'll chop off your head and stuff your neck full of toys from his sack of horrors.",Farnsworth,Nice meeting you.
Farnsworth,Nice meeting you.,Preacherbot,"Welcome, brother! May the blessings of the season be upon you."
Preacherbot,"Welcome, brother! May the blessings of the season be upon you.",Bender,"Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!"
Bender,"Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!",Fry,There's this girl who I really like but she thinks I'm a jerk. Can you help me?
Fry,There's this girl who I really like but she thinks I'm a jerk. Can you help me?,Salesman,"#1: Yeah, there's a suicide booth in the food court. Though there's a line this time of year."
Salesman,"#1: Yeah, there's a suicide booth in the food court. Though there's a line this time of year.",Fry,"No, I need to get her a gift. And I need it before sundown."
Fry,"No, I need to get her a gift. And I need it before sundown.",Salesman,#1 A Surface-to-Santa rocket launcher. It comes with three jolly-seeking missiles.
Salesman,#1 A Surface-to-Santa rocket launcher. It comes with three jolly-seeking missiles.,Fry,That's funny!
Fry,That's funny!,Salesman,"#1: Careful, sir!"
Salesman,"#1: Careful, sir!",Bender,"Hey, chief, someone's stealing your handkerchief full of crap."
Bender,"Hey, chief, someone's stealing your handkerchief full of crap.",Tinny,"Tim: Excuse me, sir? Might I have a sip of booze?"
Tinny,"Tim: Excuse me, sir? Might I have a sip of booze?",Preacherbot,"I'm sorry, Tinny Tim. Seems we ran out early tonight."
Preacherbot,"I'm sorry, Tinny Tim. Seems we ran out early tonight.",Tinny,Tim: I understand.
Tinny,Tim: I understand.,Bender,My God! That poor kid!
Bender,My God! That poor kid!,Fry,Just give me your best animal.
Fry,Just give me your best animal.,Salesman,#2: Best? Well that's a matter of opinion. I personally like the Electric Snail.
Salesman,#2: Best? Well that's a matter of opinion. I personally like the Electric Snail.,Fry,That's a stupid animal. You're stupid! I said I want the best one. Now which costs more? The parrot or the Stink Lizard?
Fry,That's a stupid animal. You're stupid! I said I want the best one. Now which costs more? The parrot or the Stink Lizard?,Salesman,"#2: The lizards are a buck each, the parrot is $500."
Salesman,"#2: The lizards are a buck each, the parrot is $500.",Fry,"That's a hell of a good parrot. Although, I could get 500 lizards for the same price. Girls like swarms of lizards, right?"
Fry,"That's a hell of a good parrot. Although, I could get 500 lizards for the same price. Girls like swarms of lizards, right?",Salesman,"#2: Sir, the store is closing in two minutes."
Salesman,"#2: Sir, the store is closing in two minutes.",Fry!,The parrot!
Fry!,The parrot!,Fry,Stupid bird! I know where you live.
Fry,Stupid bird! I know where you live.,Amy,"Hey, it's Leela."
Amy,"Hey, it's Leela.",Leela,Sorry I stormed out before. I didn't mean to ruin everyone's Xmas.
Leela,Sorry I stormed out before. I didn't mean to ruin everyone's Xmas.,Farnsworth,Huh? You were gone?
Farnsworth,Huh? You were gone?,Leela,It's just that I get tired of Fry always only thinking of himself.
Leela,It's just that I get tired of Fry always only thinking of himself.,Hermes,"I hear that! I aks him to set the table, instead he goes out to buy you a present. Selfish dog."
Hermes,"I hear that! I aks him to set the table, instead he goes out to buy you a present. Selfish dog.",Leela,Wait! You mean he's still out? His life's in danger!
Leela,Wait! You mean he's still out? His life's in danger!,Zoidberg,Why?
Zoidberg,Why?,Leela,I'm telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town!
Leela,I'm telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town!,Fry,"Alright, bird, you thought you could beat me in a game of wits. But you just met your equal."
Fry,"Alright, bird, you thought you could beat me in a game of wits. But you just met your equal.",Fry,Aha! Cornered!
Fry,Aha! Cornered!,Leela,"Hi, there!"
Leela,"Hi, there!",Fry,"Leela! Oh, my God! You saved my life. I am gonna get you so many lizards!"
Fry,"Leela! Oh, my God! You saved my life. I am gonna get you so many lizards!",Leela,"You didn't need to buy me a present, Fry."
Leela,"You didn't need to buy me a present, Fry.",Fry,"I just wanted to do something to make you happy. I mean, I miss my family but you never even had a family."
Fry,"I just wanted to do something to make you happy. I mean, I miss my family but you never even had a family.",Leela,"It's OK. You're lonely and I'm lonely. But, together, we're lonely together."
Leela,"It's OK. You're lonely and I'm lonely. But, together, we're lonely together.",Fry,"Merry Xmas, Leela."
Fry,"Merry Xmas, Leela.",Leela,Merry Xmas.
Leela,Merry Xmas.,Fry,"Oh, boy! It's Santa!"
Fry,"Oh, boy! It's Santa!",Santa,"You've been very naughty, Fry and Leela. I checked my list."
Santa,"You've been very naughty, Fry and Leela. I checked my list.",Fry,Well check it twice!
Fry,Well check it twice!,Santa,I perform over 50 mega-checks per second. You're both naughty for disregarding each other's feelings.
Santa,I perform over 50 mega-checks per second. You're both naughty for disregarding each other's feelings.,Leela,But we set things right. Fry even risked his life to get me a present.
Leela,But we set things right. Fry even risked his life to get me a present.,Santa,But what about your other co-workers? Did either of you ever stop to think about Dr. Zoidberg's feelings?
Santa,But what about your other co-workers? Did either of you ever stop to think about Dr. Zoidberg's feelings?,Fry,No! I swear!
Fry,No! I swear!,Santa,Santa has something very special in his sack for you two!
Santa,Santa has something very special in his sack for you two!,'Cause,Santa Claus comes tonight.
'Cause,Santa Claus comes tonight.,Hattie,Go away!
Hattie,Go away!,Bender,"Whoa, hold on! How about inviting us in for a traditional glass of hard cider?"
Bender,"Whoa, hold on! How about inviting us in for a traditional glass of hard cider?",Hattie,I said that's enough!
Hattie,I said that's enough!,Bender,Get her purse!
Bender,Get her purse!,Fry,Please let us live! We'll put out milk and cookies for you!
Fry,Please let us live! We'll put out milk and cookies for you!,Santa,bribe Santa? I'm going to shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!
Santa,bribe Santa? I'm going to shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!,Leela,We're trapped.
Leela,We're trapped.,Fry,"I never thought it would end this way: Gunned down by Santa Claus. Honestly, I didn't see it coming!"
Fry,"I never thought it would end this way: Gunned down by Santa Claus. Honestly, I didn't see it coming!",Leela,"Goodbye, Fry."
Leela,"Goodbye, Fry.",Fry,"Hey, look, we're under the mistletoe."
Fry,"Hey, look, we're under the mistletoe.",Santa,Your mistletoe is no match for my T.O.W. missile!
Santa,Your mistletoe is no match for my T.O.W. missile!,Fry,"Uh, you're present may need some assembly."
Fry,"Uh, you're present may need some assembly.",Bender,On the 4th day of Xmas I stole from that lady.
Bender,On the 4th day of Xmas I stole from that lady.,Robot,#1: Four family photos.
Robot,#1: Four family photos.,Tinny,Tim: Three jars of pennies.
Tinny,Tim: Three jars of pennies.,Robot,#2: Two former husbands.
Robot,#2: Two former husbands.,Bender,And a slipper on a shoe tree.
Bender,And a slipper on a shoe tree.,Raoul,"Oh, thank you!"
Raoul,"Oh, thank you!",Fry,Help!
Fry,Help!,Leela,Somebody help us.
Leela,Somebody help us.,Tinny,"Tim: It's humans. Shall we mug them, robot sir?"
Tinny,"Tim: It's humans. Shall we mug them, robot sir?",Bender,"No, wait, I know these guys. They got nothing."
Bender,"No, wait, I know these guys. They got nothing.",Santa,"You've been very naughty, Bender."
Santa,"You've been very naughty, Bender.",Bender,What? Me? I didn't do nothing. You're thinking of the kid.
Bender,What? Me? I didn't do nothing. You're thinking of the kid.,Santa,... an...
Santa,... an...,Zoidberg,"Amy, this is for you. A set of combs for your beautiful hair."
Zoidberg,"Amy, this is for you. A set of combs for your beautiful hair.",Amy,"Oh, that's so sweet. But I sold my hair to a wigmaker so I could buy a set of combs for Hermes."
Amy,"Oh, that's so sweet. But I sold my hair to a wigmaker so I could buy a set of combs for Hermes.",Hermes,"Oh, the irony. I sold my hair so I could buy this third set of combs for Zoidberg."
Hermes,"Oh, the irony. I sold my hair so I could buy this third set of combs for Zoidberg.",Zoidberg,Finally I look as pretty as I feel!
Zoidberg,Finally I look as pretty as I feel!,Fry,Help!
Fry,Help!,Leela,Help!
Leela,Help!,Bender,Help!
Bender,Help!,Farnsworth,"Oh, dear. They'll be killed on our doorstep. And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd."
Farnsworth,"Oh, dear. They'll be killed on our doorstep. And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd.",Hermes,Sweet manatee of Galilee! He's on the roof!
Hermes,Sweet manatee of Galilee! He's on the roof!,Farnsworth,Push! Push!
Farnsworth,Push! Push!,Bender,Use teamwork!
Bender,Use teamwork!,Tinny,"Tim: Oh, dear! Oh, dear!"
Tinny,"Tim: Oh, dear! Oh, dear!",Santa,"You've all been very naughty, very naughty indeed. Except you, Dr. Zoidberg, this is for you."
Santa,"You've all been very naughty, very naughty indeed. Except you, Dr. Zoidberg, this is for you.",Zoidberg,A pogo-stick!
Zoidberg,A pogo-stick!,Santa,"As for the rest of you, I'm going to tear off your skin like wrapping paper and deck the halls with your guts."
Santa,"As for the rest of you, I'm going to tear off your skin like wrapping paper and deck the halls with your guts.",Bender,Ow! God! The pain!
Bender,Ow! God! The pain!,Santa,"Ho, ho, ho! Time to get jolly on your naughty asses!"
Santa,"Ho, ho, ho! Time to get jolly on your naughty asses!",Leela,Watch out! His belly is shaking like a bowl full of nitro-glycerine!
Leela,Watch out! His belly is shaking like a bowl full of nitro-glycerine!,Amy,Rudolph's nose!
Amy,Rudolph's nose!,Fry,He's gonna blow!
Fry,He's gonna blow!,Zoidberg,Aha!
Zoidberg,Aha!,Farnsworth,"Yes, good thing I got us out of that one!"
Farnsworth,"Yes, good thing I got us out of that one!",Bender,"Xmas dinner, everyone."
Bender,"Xmas dinner, everyone.",Fry,"Uh, Bender? Where did you get that bird?"
Fry,"Uh, Bender? Where did you get that bird?",Bender,"I found it lying in the street, like all the food I cook. Dig in, everyone."
Bender,"I found it lying in the street, like all the food I cook. Dig in, everyone.",Tinny,"Tim: Thank you, sir."
Tinny,"Tim: Thank you, sir.",Bender,Oh!
Bender,Oh!,Fry,"Look, the food isn't what's important."
Fry,"Look, the food isn't what's important.",Tinny,Tim: I'm so hungry.
Tinny,Tim: I'm so hungry.,Fry,"The important thing is we're all together for Xmas. And even though I'm surrounded by robots and monsters and old people, I've never felt more at home."
Fry,"The important thing is we're all together for Xmas. And even though I'm surrounded by robots and monsters and old people, I've never felt more at home.",Farnsworth,"Hear, hear! Now let's all of us shut up and sing!"
Farnsworth,"Hear, hear! Now let's all of us shut up and sing!",Amy,He knows when you are sleeping.
Amy,He knows when you are sleeping.,Farnsworth,He knows when you're on the can.
Farnsworth,He knows when you're on the can.,Leela,He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.
Leela,He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.,Zoidberg,Oh.
Zoidberg,Oh.,Hermes,"You'd better not breathe, You'd better not move."
Hermes,"You'd better not breathe, You'd better not move.",Bender,"You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude."
Bender,"You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude.",Fry,Santa Claus is gunning you down!
Fry,Santa Claus is gunning you down!,Farnsworth,"Merry Xmas, everyone!"
Farnsworth,"Merry Xmas, everyone!",Santa,"I'll be back. Back when you least expect it: Next Xmas! Ho, ho, ho!"
Santa,"I'll be back. Back when you least expect it: Next Xmas! Ho, ho, ho!",Singer,Call Robo-Rooter when you flush your towel.
Singer,Call Robo-Rooter when you flush your towel.,Plumber-bot,And we can also help with an impacted bowel.
Plumber-bot,And we can also help with an impacted bowel.,Singer,Robo-Rooter!
Singer,Robo-Rooter!,Fry,Mmm. Mmm! Now this is what I call a thousand years of progress: A Bavarian cream dog that's also self-microwaving!
Fry,Mmm. Mmm! Now this is what I call a thousand years of progress: A Bavarian cream dog that's also self-microwaving!,Bender,"Oh, what is this, the Middle Ages?"
Bender,"Oh, what is this, the Middle Ages?",Leela,"Look at you guys. No offence, Fry, but you've become a fat sack of crap."
Leela,"Look at you guys. No offence, Fry, but you've become a fat sack of crap.",Fry,Sack?
Fry,Sack?,Amy,"And, Bender, your beer belly's so big your door won't even close. And that doesn't even make sense."
Amy,"And, Bender, your beer belly's so big your door won't even close. And that doesn't even make sense.",Leela,to the gym.
Leela,to the gym.,Zoidberg,"The gymnasium? Excellent, excellent. For some reason I'm frisky as a squid on Tuesday."
Zoidberg,"The gymnasium? Excellent, excellent. For some reason I'm frisky as a squid on Tuesday.",Amy,"Hey, who's up for a nice, hot steam?"
Amy,"Hey, who's up for a nice, hot steam?",Zoidberg,We crustaceans don't like steam. I'm going to go work out with the Nautilus!
Zoidberg,We crustaceans don't like steam. I'm going to go work out with the Nautilus!,Nautilus,"What up, Dr. Z?"
Nautilus,"What up, Dr. Z?",Zoidberg,"Yo, yo, yo! Whassup, whassup! Give up the rock!"
Zoidberg,"Yo, yo, yo! Whassup, whassup! Give up the rock!",Fry,the future!
Fry,the future!,Leela,steam room.
Leela,steam room.,Fry,"Ah, futuristic!"
Fry,"Ah, futuristic!",Amy,"Psst, look what life was like before genetic engineering."
Amy,"Psst, look what life was like before genetic engineering.",Leela,Those poor 20th century women.
Leela,Those poor 20th century women.,Amy,"Hey, handsome. Is there room in there for two?"
Amy,"Hey, handsome. Is there room in there for two?",Man,You wish!
Man,You wish!,Fry,"Hey, Leela, look who's the super-stud!"
Fry,"Hey, Leela, look who's the super-stud!",Leela,"Hmm, somebody must have turned down the gravity. I'll fix it for you."
Leela,"Hmm, somebody must have turned down the gravity. I'll fix it for you.",Zoidberg,More weight!
Zoidberg,More weight!,Fry,"Hey, Dr. Zoidberg, what's that jazz on your head?"
Fry,"Hey, Dr. Zoidberg, what's that jazz on your head?",Leela,weight.
Leela,weight.,Bender,He's coming out--
Bender,He's coming out--,Randy,Is there a doctor in the gym?
Randy,Is there a doctor in the gym?,Zoidberg,a doctor!
Zoidberg,a doctor!,Leela,I wonder why Dr. Zoidberg is acting this way. Out of all of us he always seemed the most normal.
Leela,I wonder why Dr. Zoidberg is acting this way. Out of all of us he always seemed the most normal.,Zoidberg,"Amy, take off these rubber bands and I'll show you how normal I am!"
Zoidberg,"Amy, take off these rubber bands and I'll show you how normal I am!",Amy,"Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times, shame on me."
Amy,"Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times, shame on me.",Fry,Maybe he has a parasite.
Fry,Maybe he has a parasite.,Hermes,a parasite!
Hermes,a parasite!,Bender,It's always so sad when a friend goes crazy and you have to have a big clam-bake and cook him! Yee-haw!
Bender,It's always so sad when a friend goes crazy and you have to have a big clam-bake and cook him! Yee-haw!,Farnsworth,"Now, now, this won't do. Let me just give old Zoidy a sedative."
Farnsworth,"Now, now, this won't do. Let me just give old Zoidy a sedative.",Zoidberg,"Ah, much better. You can take off these rubber bands now."
Zoidberg,"Ah, much better. You can take off these rubber bands now.",Amy,I'll do it.
Amy,I'll do it.,Leela,Stop!
Leela,Stop!,Fry,"No, Amy!"
Fry,"No, Amy!",Bender,Moron!
Bender,Moron!,Farnsworth,Aha! There's the problem.
Farnsworth,Aha! There's the problem.,Zoidberg,"Give it to me straight, Professor. Is it fin rot? It's fin rot, isn't it? Tell me it's not fin rot!"
Zoidberg,"Give it to me straight, Professor. Is it fin rot? It's fin rot, isn't it? Tell me it's not fin rot!",Farnsworth,"Relax, my chiton-y chum. There's no problem. You're just heavy with male jelly."
Farnsworth,"Relax, my chiton-y chum. There's no problem. You're just heavy with male jelly.",Leela,Bleck!
Leela,Bleck!,Farnsworth,It must be mating season for Zoidberg's people; a chaotic time when his behaviour is dictated by the tiny brain in his rump.
Farnsworth,It must be mating season for Zoidberg's people; a chaotic time when his behaviour is dictated by the tiny brain in his rump.,Fry,Eck!
Fry,Eck!,Farnsworth,There's only one thing we can do--
Farnsworth,There's only one thing we can do--,Bender,I'll get the water boiling!
Bender,I'll get the water boiling!,Fry,"Oh, baby, I'm there!"
Fry,"Oh, baby, I'm there!",Leela,"Fry, do you even understand the word invertebrate?"
Leela,"Fry, do you even understand the word invertebrate?",Fry,"Uh, no need to pack pants, people. Let's roll!"
Fry,"Uh, no need to pack pants, people. Let's roll!",Amy,Dr. Zoidberg said I should hold these while he's gone.
Amy,Dr. Zoidberg said I should hold these while he's gone.,Bender,Moron!
Bender,Moron!,Decapodian,"Man #1: Welcome home, old friend. Just 19 hours until the mating frenzy!"
Decapodian,"Man #1: Welcome home, old friend. Just 19 hours until the mating frenzy!",Zoidberg,"Excellent, excellent!"
Zoidberg,"Excellent, excellent!",Decapodian,"Man #1: See you there, Doctor--"
Decapodian,"Man #1: See you there, Doctor--",Fry,Is that how you say Zoidberg?
Fry,Is that how you say Zoidberg?,Zoidberg,You didn't have to call attention to his speech impediment.
Zoidberg,You didn't have to call attention to his speech impediment.,Bender,"You're looking less nuts, crabby."
Bender,"You're looking less nuts, crabby.",Zoidberg,If you catch my drift.
Zoidberg,If you catch my drift.,Fry,Who's the lucky lobsterina?
Fry,Who's the lucky lobsterina?,Zoidberg,I don't know yet. But I shall attract one this afternoon with an erotic display.
Zoidberg,I don't know yet. But I shall attract one this afternoon with an erotic display.,Leela,It's amazing that your people can fall in love so fast.
Leela,It's amazing that your people can fall in love so fast.,Zoidberg,Love? That word is unknown here. I'm simply looking for a female swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material.
Zoidberg,Love? That word is unknown here. I'm simply looking for a female swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material.,Fry,"You and me both, brother!"
Fry,"You and me both, brother!",Zoidberg,"Ah, my old scuttling grounds! Let's pull over."
Zoidberg,"Ah, my old scuttling grounds! Let's pull over.",Zoidberg,"Who's the tough guy now, Vinnie?"
Zoidberg,"Who's the tough guy now, Vinnie?",Bender,"Look! Outdoor theatre! Let's get tickets. Oh, let's do!"
Bender,"Look! Outdoor theatre! Let's get tickets. Oh, let's do!",Zoidberg,They don't!
Zoidberg,They don't!,Fry,I didn't come here to see any activity involving two guys. Where do you people do your erotic display?
Fry,I didn't come here to see any activity involving two guys. Where do you people do your erotic display?,Zoidberg,Same place as your species: The beach.
Zoidberg,Same place as your species: The beach.,Zoidberg,How do I look?
Zoidberg,How do I look?,Bender,Like whale barf.
Bender,Like whale barf.,Zoidberg,Then the illusion is complete.
Zoidberg,Then the illusion is complete.,Fry,"Hey, I wonder if these guys are here to watch the erotic display too."
Fry,"Hey, I wonder if these guys are here to watch the erotic display too.",Decapodian,"Man #2: Aw, yeah! Aw, wow!"
Decapodian,"Man #2: Aw, yeah! Aw, wow!",Zoidberg,Craw!
Zoidberg,Craw!,Fry,Look how ridiculous they look.
Fry,Look how ridiculous they look.,Bender,"Please, he's no different from the rest of you organisms; shooting DNA at each other make babies. I find it offensive."
Bender,"Please, he's no different from the rest of you organisms; shooting DNA at each other make babies. I find it offensive.",Zoidberg,Craw!
Zoidberg,Craw!,Decapodian,Woman #1: Keep your jelly away from my eggs!
Decapodian,Woman #1: Keep your jelly away from my eggs!,Decapodian,Woman #2: So not interested.
Decapodian,Woman #2: So not interested.,Zoidberg,Craw!
Zoidberg,Craw!,Decapodian,Woman #3: Humph. I've heard that line before!
Decapodian,Woman #3: Humph. I've heard that line before!,Zoidberg,"Cra-- Oh, what's the point?"
Zoidberg,"Cra-- Oh, what's the point?",Leela,Why is Zoidberg the only one still alone?
Leela,Why is Zoidberg the only one still alone?,Bender,"'Cause he's a loser, that's why. He's the lobster equivalent of Fry."
Bender,"'Cause he's a loser, that's why. He's the lobster equivalent of Fry.",Fry,Hey! I can get any girl I want anytime I want. I'm just too busy.
Fry,Hey! I can get any girl I want anytime I want. I'm just too busy.,Zoidberg,You used to laugh at me because my face was covered with barnacles!
Zoidberg,You used to laugh at me because my face was covered with barnacles!,Edna,Zoidberg? Well I didn't know you were back in town. I heard you went off and became a rich doctor.
Edna,Zoidberg? Well I didn't know you were back in town. I heard you went off and became a rich doctor.,Zoidberg,"I've performed a few mercy killings. So, as long as I'm in town I was wondering if maybe ... craw?"
Zoidberg,"I've performed a few mercy killings. So, as long as I'm in town I was wondering if maybe ... craw?",Edna,with male jelly. Maybe a rock star.
Edna,with male jelly. Maybe a rock star.,Zoidberg,Or maybe a doctor?
Zoidberg,Or maybe a doctor?,Edna,"I'm sorry, Zoidberg. You're just an inferior male specimen. Nice seeing you again."
Edna,"I'm sorry, Zoidberg. You're just an inferior male specimen. Nice seeing you again.",Zoidberg,"No one will ever want to mate with me, not with a puny claw like this. Did you see those other guys? They looked like giant claws with bodies attached."
Zoidberg,"No one will ever want to mate with me, not with a puny claw like this. Did you see those other guys? They looked like giant claws with bodies attached.",Leela,At least you didn't smell as bad as them.
Leela,At least you didn't smell as bad as them.,Zoidberg,"You're right, my stink gland is weak. Smell!"
Zoidberg,"You're right, my stink gland is weak. Smell!",Fry,I've never been so happy.
Fry,I've never been so happy.,Leela,know it. Wait a second. They've all been doing that to me. Even Sean!
Leela,know it. Wait a second. They've all been doing that to me. Even Sean!,Zoidberg,"Hmm, this love intrigues me. Teach me to fake it."
Zoidberg,"Hmm, this love intrigues me. Teach me to fake it.",Fry,"OK, you're on a date. What's the first thing you do?"
Fry,"OK, you're on a date. What's the first thing you do?",Zoidberg,Ask her to mate with me.
Zoidberg,Ask her to mate with me.,Fry,No. Tell her she's special.
Fry,No. Tell her she's special.,Zoidberg,But she's not. She's merely the female with the largest clutch of eggs.
Zoidberg,But she's not. She's merely the female with the largest clutch of eggs.,Fry,"Well, tell her that. And then?"
Fry,"Well, tell her that. And then?",Zoidberg,Then mating.
Zoidberg,Then mating.,Fry,Yes?
Fry,Yes?,Zoidberg,Is desire to mate a feeling?
Zoidberg,Is desire to mate a feeling?,Fry,You're not even trying!
Fry,You're not even trying!,Zoidberg,It's all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the lies upon lies.
Zoidberg,It's all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the lies upon lies.,Fry,will take you under his wing.
Fry,will take you under his wing.,Zoidberg,What? Now there's a bird involved?
Zoidberg,What? Now there's a bird involved?,Fry,"OK, go ahead."
Fry,"OK, go ahead.",Edna,"What the-- Dr. Zoidberg, your mating display failed. Why are you trying to talk to me?"
Edna,"What the-- Dr. Zoidberg, your mating display failed. Why are you trying to talk to me?",Zoidberg,I have no idea.
Zoidberg,I have no idea.,Fry,"You just wanna talk, it has nothing to do with mating."
Fry,"You just wanna talk, it has nothing to do with mating.",Zoidberg,"Fry, that doesn't make sense."
Zoidberg,"Fry, that doesn't make sense.",Edna,"Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense. But OK."
Edna,"Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense. But OK.",Fry,Start with a compliment. Tell her she looks thin.
Fry,Start with a compliment. Tell her she looks thin.,Zoidberg,You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from internal parasites?
Zoidberg,You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from internal parasites?,Edna,"Why, yes. Thanks for noticing."
Edna,"Why, yes. Thanks for noticing.",Fry,Now ask her how her day was.
Fry,Now ask her how her day was.,Zoidberg,Why would I wanna know?
Zoidberg,Why would I wanna know?,Fry,You wouldn't. Ask anyway.
Fry,You wouldn't. Ask anyway.,Zoidberg,How was your day?
Zoidberg,How was your day?,Edna,Well first I got up and had a piece of toast. Then I brushed my teeth. Then I went to the store to buy some fish. Then...
Edna,Well first I got up and had a piece of toast. Then I brushed my teeth. Then I went to the store to buy some fish. Then...,Zoidberg,"Fry, look what you did, she won't shut up."
Zoidberg,"Fry, look what you did, she won't shut up.",Fry,That's normal. Just nod your head and say Uh-huh.
Fry,That's normal. Just nod your head and say Uh-huh.,Zoidberg,"Uh-huh, uh-huh."
Zoidberg,"Uh-huh, uh-huh.",Edna,You even stink more.
Edna,You even stink more.,Zoidberg,Do I ask her to mate now?
Zoidberg,Do I ask her to mate now?,Fry,Third date!
Fry,Third date!,Bender,So I returned his artificial heart and ever since then I've been known by the name of Honest Bender.
Bender,So I returned his artificial heart and ever since then I've been known by the name of Honest Bender.,Zoidberg,I'd like to propose a toast to ... coat check number 84.
Zoidberg,I'd like to propose a toast to ... coat check number 84.,Fry,Turn it over.
Fry,Turn it over.,Zoidberg,"Of all the slimy, gross crab monsters on this planet, you are apparently the hottest."
Zoidberg,"Of all the slimy, gross crab monsters on this planet, you are apparently the hottest.",Bender,Oy.
Bender,Oy.,Fry,That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
Fry,That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.,Edna,"Yes, well ... excuse me, I've got to powder my mouth flaps."
Edna,"Yes, well ... excuse me, I've got to powder my mouth flaps.",Leela,"Uh, me too."
Leela,"Uh, me too.",Zoidberg,"I'm confused, Fry. I'm feeling a strange new emotion. Is it love when you care about a female for reasons beyond mating?"
Zoidberg,"I'm confused, Fry. I'm feeling a strange new emotion. Is it love when you care about a female for reasons beyond mating?",Fry,Nope. Must be some weird alien emotion.
Fry,Nope. Must be some weird alien emotion.,Leela,"Zoidberg said some dumb stuff but he's a nice guy, really. It's just that Fry's been telling him what to say and Fry's a ... do you have idiots on your planet?"
Leela,"Zoidberg said some dumb stuff but he's a nice guy, really. It's just that Fry's been telling him what to say and Fry's a ... do you have idiots on your planet?",Edna,Fry? You mean words of such beauty came from the blowhole of that hideous alien?
Edna,Fry? You mean words of such beauty came from the blowhole of that hideous alien?,"Leela,",honey.
"Leela,",honey.,Edna,Hmm.
Edna,Hmm.,Edna,Come in.
Edna,Come in.,Edna,"Hello, Fry. Can I interest you in some surf and turf?"
Edna,"Hello, Fry. Can I interest you in some surf and turf?",Fry,No thanks. I just came to tell you that Zoidberg's really great. He's got male jelly coming out the wazoo.
Fry,No thanks. I just came to tell you that Zoidberg's really great. He's got male jelly coming out the wazoo.,Edna,"I know Zoidberg's magical words were really yours. Teach me to love you, squishy poet from beyond the stars!"
Edna,"I know Zoidberg's magical words were really yours. Teach me to love you, squishy poet from beyond the stars!",Fry,"Uh, I'm flattered, really. If I was gonna do it with a big, freaky mud bug you'd be way up the list!"
Fry,"Uh, I'm flattered, really. If I was gonna do it with a big, freaky mud bug you'd be way up the list!",Edna,"Hush, you romantic fool! Engage your mandibles and kiss me!"
Edna,"Hush, you romantic fool! Engage your mandibles and kiss me!",Zoidberg,Fry!
Zoidberg,Fry!,Fry,"Dr. Zoidberg, it's not how it looks."
Fry,"Dr. Zoidberg, it's not how it looks.",Fry,But--
Fry,But--,Edna,"Oh, it's true, Zoidberg. We can't hide it any longer. Fry and I have fallen in love and we're going to mate tomorrow."
Edna,"Oh, it's true, Zoidberg. We can't hide it any longer. Fry and I have fallen in love and we're going to mate tomorrow.",Zoidberg,I challenge you to Claw-Plach!
Zoidberg,I challenge you to Claw-Plach!,Fry,"English, please?"
Fry,"English, please?",Zoidberg,A fight to the death.
Zoidberg,A fight to the death.,Edna,"And if you survive, we'll make sweet love!"
Edna,"And if you survive, we'll make sweet love!",Decapodian,Emperor: The law is clear. Fry and Zoidberg shall fight to the death for the claw of the beautiful Edna.
Decapodian,Emperor: The law is clear. Fry and Zoidberg shall fight to the death for the claw of the beautiful Edna.,Fry,But I don't want her!
Fry,But I don't want her!,Decapodian,"Emperor: Once invoked, the sacred tradition of Claw-Plach can not be taken back. It is a recent tradition, only 18 years old, but it is a tradition none the less."
Decapodian,"Emperor: Once invoked, the sacred tradition of Claw-Plach can not be taken back. It is a recent tradition, only 18 years old, but it is a tradition none the less.",Zoidberg,"Get ready, Fry. I'm going to rip your swim bladder out and show it to you."
Zoidberg,"Get ready, Fry. I'm going to rip your swim bladder out and show it to you.",Leela,"Dr. Zoidberg, this is madness. You're being irrational."
Leela,"Dr. Zoidberg, this is madness. You're being irrational.",Zoidberg,Of course I'm being irrational! I'm in love!
Zoidberg,Of course I'm being irrational! I'm in love!,Leela,Aww.
Leela,Aww.,Fry,Leela!
Fry,Leela!,Leela,You have to stop this madness.
Leela,You have to stop this madness.,Decapodian,Emperor.
Decapodian,Emperor.,Bender,"Takin' all bets! I'm giving 9-2 on Zoidberg, the crab with the jab! The Great Red Hope! Come on, baby!"
Bender,"Takin' all bets! I'm giving 9-2 on Zoidberg, the crab with the jab! The Great Red Hope! Come on, baby!",Zoidberg,"Fry, it's been years since medical school so remind me. Disembowelling in your species: Fatal or non-fatal?"
Zoidberg,"Fry, it's been years since medical school so remind me. Disembowelling in your species: Fatal or non-fatal?",Fry,Fatal.
Fry,Fatal.,Zoidberg,Large bet on myself in round one!
Zoidberg,Large bet on myself in round one!,Decapodian,"Emperor: Edna, have you anything to say before begins the Claw-Plach?"
Decapodian,"Emperor: Edna, have you anything to say before begins the Claw-Plach?",Edna,I do. I just want to say that today I got up and I had a piece of toast. Then I brushed my teeth--
Edna,I do. I just want to say that today I got up and I had a piece of toast. Then I brushed my teeth--,Fry,Shut up!
Fry,Shut up!,Edna,"I love you, Fry!"
Edna,"I love you, Fry!",Decapodian,"Emperor And you, doctor?"
Decapodian,"Emperor And you, doctor?",Zoidberg,I choose my own claws! I want the tactile pleasure of chopping him right here in the gonads!
Zoidberg,I choose my own claws! I want the tactile pleasure of chopping him right here in the gonads!,Fry,Shh! Nobody correct him!
Fry,Shh! Nobody correct him!,Bender,"Fry, I've never asked you for anything before but, if it's not too much trouble, when it comes to the ninth round just let him win."
Bender,"Fry, I've never asked you for anything before but, if it's not too much trouble, when it comes to the ninth round just let him win.",Fry,But it's a fight to the death!
Fry,But it's a fight to the death!,Bender,"Oh, so this is suddenly all about you. Sheesh!"
Bender,"Oh, so this is suddenly all about you. Sheesh!",Decapodian,Emperor: Please rise for the national anthem.
Decapodian,Emperor: Please rise for the national anthem.,Fry,Uh-oh.
Fry,Uh-oh.,Decapodian,Emperor: Let Claw-Plach begin!
Decapodian,Emperor: Let Claw-Plach begin!,Fry,Hey!
Fry,Hey!,Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Leela,"Come on, Fry! Die with dignity!"
Leela,"Come on, Fry! Die with dignity!",Fry,Oops!
Fry,Oops!,Edna,Nooo! I can't stand to look.
Edna,Nooo! I can't stand to look.,Zoidberg,Huh?
Zoidberg,Huh?,Bender,"Psst, Fry. Take a dive."
Bender,"Psst, Fry. Take a dive.",Crowd,Claw-Plach! Claw-Plach!
Crowd,Claw-Plach! Claw-Plach!,Fry,You bastard! I'll kill you! You bastard!
Fry,You bastard! I'll kill you! You bastard!,Leela,Wait! Stop! Everyone is gone.
Leela,Wait! Stop! Everyone is gone.,Zoidberg,Edna? Honey?
Zoidberg,Edna? Honey?,Zoidberg,Edna?
Zoidberg,Edna?,Leela,Ew!
Leela,Ew!,Bender,"Oh, my God!"
Bender,"Oh, my God!",Zoidberg,"Oh, the greatest experience in life and I missed it."
Zoidberg,"Oh, the greatest experience in life and I missed it.",Fry,"Aw. I'm sorry, Doc."
Fry,"Aw. I'm sorry, Doc.",Fry,"Ow, ow! Ah!"
Fry,"Ow, ow! Ah!",Zoidberg,The frenzy is over. How will I ever get rid of my male jelly now?
Zoidberg,The frenzy is over. How will I ever get rid of my male jelly now?,Fry,I'll lend you this.
Fry,I'll lend you this.,Leela,Fry!
Leela,Fry!,Fry,"Hey, hey."
Fry,"Hey, hey.",Bender,Shoo! Get away! Hey! What's with the flying jerks?
Bender,Shoo! Get away! Hey! What's with the flying jerks?,Zoidberg,"They come to feast after the frenzy. Once my species passes on its genes, it dies."
Zoidberg,"They come to feast after the frenzy. Once my species passes on its genes, it dies.",Fry,You mean you have to choose between a life without sex and a gruesome death?
Fry,You mean you have to choose between a life without sex and a gruesome death?,Zoidberg,Yes.
Zoidberg,Yes.,Fry,Tough call.
Fry,Tough call.,Zoidberg,"Well it was nice of you to let me reattach your arm, Fry, especially after I made a complete eel out of myself."
Zoidberg,"Well it was nice of you to let me reattach your arm, Fry, especially after I made a complete eel out of myself.",Fry,No biggie.
Fry,No biggie.,Zoidberg,There! I pronounce the operation a success.
Zoidberg,There! I pronounce the operation a success.,Leela,Hooray!
Leela,Hooray!,Bender,Yeah!
Bender,Yeah!,Fry,Yeah!
Fry,Yeah!,Zoidberg,"I may not know from emotions but when it comes to medicine, forget about it."
Zoidberg,"I may not know from emotions but when it comes to medicine, forget about it.",Fry,"I don't mean to nitpick, super-doc, but do you think maybe you could take one more whack at this?"
Fry,"I don't mean to nitpick, super-doc, but do you think maybe you could take one more whack at this?",Zoidberg,"For you, my friend, anything."
Zoidberg,"For you, my friend, anything.",Fry,My legs!
Fry,My legs!,Zoidberg,"Alright, alright, third time's the charm."
Zoidberg,"Alright, alright, third time's the charm.",Announcer,"... Arachno Spores! The fatal spore, with the funny name!"
Announcer,"... Arachno Spores! The fatal spore, with the funny name!",Announcer,#1 is real. The people you see are not actors. Most of them aren't even people.
Announcer,#1 is real. The people you see are not actors. Most of them aren't even people.,Centipede,"man: C'mon, man, I didn't fire off no laser."
Centipede,"man: C'mon, man, I didn't fire off no laser.",Smitty,"Then why is there a smoking hole in your ceiling, sir?"
Smitty,"Then why is there a smoking hole in your ceiling, sir?",Centipede,man: What? Crazy upstairs lady must've been shooting down.
Centipede,man: What? Crazy upstairs lady must've been shooting down.,URL,"Sir, you're on the top floor of this particular domicile."
URL,"Sir, you're on the top floor of this particular domicile.",Centipede,woman: You get that camera out of my house!
Centipede,woman: You get that camera out of my house!,Smitty,"Sir, sir, put down the lamp."
Smitty,"Sir, sir, put down the lamp.",Centipede,"man: OK. OK, I'm co-operating."
Centipede,"man: OK. OK, I'm co-operating.",Smitty,That's it. Now put up your hands.
Smitty,That's it. Now put up your hands.,URL,"Nice and slow. Aw, yeah!"
URL,"Nice and slow. Aw, yeah!",Smitty,"And while you're at it, unblur your face."
Smitty,"And while you're at it, unblur your face.",Centipede,"man: Aw, man."
Centipede,"man: Aw, man.",Leela,"Hey, Bender, I thought you said you were in this episode."
Leela,"Hey, Bender, I thought you said you were in this episode.",Bender,'cause of what I did in the coffee pot.
Bender,'cause of what I did in the coffee pot.,Centipede,"man: I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I'm just going through some things."
Centipede,"man: I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I'm just going through some things.",URL,I'm goin' in!
URL,I'm goin' in!,Announcer,"#1 will return, after these messages."
Announcer,"#1 will return, after these messages.",Announcer,#2: Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
Announcer,#2: Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?,Bender,Shut up and get to the point!
Bender,Shut up and get to the point!,Announcer,#2 ... where Old New York comes alive.
Announcer,#2 ... where Old New York comes alive.,Woman,It's like stepping back stepping back into the year 2000!
Woman,It's like stepping back stepping back into the year 2000!,Cowboy,"Time for the mammoth hunt, dudes!"
Cowboy,"Time for the mammoth hunt, dudes!",Einstein,"Let's disco dance, Hammurabi!"
Einstein,"Let's disco dance, Hammurabi!",Hammurabi,Actor: Dy-no-mite!
Hammurabi,Actor: Dy-no-mite!,Announcer,#2: Located on the former site of Brooklyn.
Announcer,#2: Located on the former site of Brooklyn.,Leela,"Sounds like your kinda place, Fry. Wanna go?"
Leela,"Sounds like your kinda place, Fry. Wanna go?",Fry,Nah. If I ever wanna go back to the year 2000 I'll just freeze myself again.
Fry,Nah. If I ever wanna go back to the year 2000 I'll just freeze myself again.,Bender,"C'mon, Fry, I really wanna see it. You know how I yearn for a simpler time. A time of barn dances and buggy rides, before life was cheapened by heartless hi-tech machines."
Bender,"C'mon, Fry, I really wanna see it. You know how I yearn for a simpler time. A time of barn dances and buggy rides, before life was cheapened by heartless hi-tech machines.",Leela,"But, Bender, you are--"
Leela,"But, Bender, you are--",Bender,"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..."
Bender,"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...",Fry,"Cool, it's just like the good old days!"
Fry,"Cool, it's just like the good old days!",Mugger,Give me your wallet or I'll cut you!
Mugger,Give me your wallet or I'll cut you!,Fry,"Hey, Leela, get a picture of me being mugged."
Fry,"Hey, Leela, get a picture of me being mugged.",Mugger,I'll take the camera too.
Mugger,I'll take the camera too.,Bender,Learning is fun.
Bender,Learning is fun.,Leela,"Ooh, ancient Wall Street."
Leela,"Ooh, ancient Wall Street.",Stockbroker,#1: No!
Stockbroker,#1: No!,Stockbroker,#2: I'm ruined!
Stockbroker,#2: I'm ruined!,Tour,Guide: I direct your attention to this ancient and mysterious tablet which has yet to be deciphered.
Tour,Guide: I direct your attention to this ancient and mysterious tablet which has yet to be deciphered.,Leela,Do you know what it means?
Leela,Do you know what it means?,Fry,"Yeah, I asked a cop once. It means Up yours, kid."
Fry,"Yeah, I asked a cop once. It means Up yours, kid.",Bender,"I gotta say I'm really enjoying the day out with you people. Hey, a suicide booth! So long, suckers."
Bender,"I gotta say I'm really enjoying the day out with you people. Hey, a suicide booth! So long, suckers.",Fry,"Uh, sorry, Bender, that's just a phone booth."
Fry,"Uh, sorry, Bender, that's just a phone booth.",Bender,Oh.
Bender,Oh.,Leela,What were they used for?
Leela,What were they used for?,Fry,In New York? Bathrooms.
Fry,In New York? Bathrooms.,Leela,Oh. I-I'll be out in a sec.
Leela,Oh. I-I'll be out in a sec.,Leela,How does this work?
Leela,How does this work?,Fry,Whup.
Fry,Whup.,Bender,"Oh, it's a turnstile."
Bender,"Oh, it's a turnstile.",Leela,Another bathroom?
Leela,Another bathroom?,Fry,"No, it's a mobile apartment with no rent."
Fry,"No, it's a mobile apartment with no rent.",Bender,"C'mon, Fry. Get up!"
Bender,"C'mon, Fry. Get up!",Leela,"Wow! The burial chamber of the 20th century's greatest spiritual leader, Al Sharpton."
Leela,"Wow! The burial chamber of the 20th century's greatest spiritual leader, Al Sharpton.",Bender,Ooh. Now this guy had taste!
Bender,Ooh. Now this guy had taste!,Leela,It says he was mummified in ceremonial vestments.
Leela,It says he was mummified in ceremonial vestments.,Fry,We sometimes called it a jogging suit.
Fry,We sometimes called it a jogging suit.,Narrator,The traffic jams of Old New York were a public forum of free interchange of opinions.
Narrator,The traffic jams of Old New York were a public forum of free interchange of opinions.,Motorist,"#1: Move it, crap for brains!"
Motorist,"#1: Move it, crap for brains!",Motorist,#2: Bug off!
Motorist,#2: Bug off!,Motorist,"#3: Get home, bastard man!"
Motorist,"#3: Get home, bastard man!",Narrator,... which was powered by a tank of burning fossils. Here we see a 20th century assembly line where cars were constructed by primitive robots.
Narrator,... which was powered by a tank of burning fossils. Here we see a 20th century assembly line where cars were constructed by primitive robots.,Robots,Ooga! Ooga! Ooga! Ooga! Ooga! Ooga...
Robots,Ooga! Ooga! Ooga! Ooga! Ooga! Ooga...,Bender,"We've come a long way, baby!"
Bender,"We've come a long way, baby!",Narrator,... the stately 1992 Latoura.
Narrator,... the stately 1992 Latoura.,Fry,"Hey, my girlfriend had one of those. Actually it wasn't hers, it was her dad's. Actually she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains."
Fry,"Hey, my girlfriend had one of those. Actually it wasn't hers, it was her dad's. Actually she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains.",Leela,"Fry, remember when I told you about always ending your stories a sentence earlier?"
Leela,"Fry, remember when I told you about always ending your stories a sentence earlier?",Fry,"C'mon, let's sneak in for a closer look."
Fry,"C'mon, let's sneak in for a closer look.",Man,I'm sorry. You work here. I should have realised from that ridiculous getup you're wearing.
Man,I'm sorry. You work here. I should have realised from that ridiculous getup you're wearing.,Fry,"Hey! This is from Miller's Outpo-- Uh, I mean, yeah, I work here alright!"
Fry,"Hey! This is from Miller's Outpo-- Uh, I mean, yeah, I work here alright!",Man,"Here, move this rust bucket outside behind St. Koch's Cathedral."
Man,"Here, move this rust bucket outside behind St. Koch's Cathedral.",Leela,"Did you drive much in the 20th century, Fry?"
Leela,"Did you drive much in the 20th century, Fry?",Fry,Nice! Listen to that baby purr.
Fry,Nice! Listen to that baby purr.,Bender,"There's a baby in there, huh?"
Bender,"There's a baby in there, huh?",Fry,It's just like riding a bicyc--
Fry,It's just like riding a bicyc--,Bender,I think I got whiplash.
Bender,I think I got whiplash.,Leela,"You can't have whiplash, you don't have a neck."
Leela,"You can't have whiplash, you don't have a neck.",Bender,whiplash.
Bender,whiplash.,Fry,I'm just glad we hit something. I thought we'd never stop.
Fry,I'm just glad we hit something. I thought we'd never stop.,Bending,Unit: Ow! I think I got whiplash.
Bending,Unit: Ow! I think I got whiplash.,Fry,How's that robot I ran over?
Fry,How's that robot I ran over?,Farnsworth,We did all we could.
Farnsworth,We did all we could.,Fry,You mean he's--
Fry,You mean he's--,Farnsworth,Good as new? Yes!
Farnsworth,Good as new? Yes!,Farnsworth,"Leela, Zoidberg, the rest of you, this is Flexo."
Farnsworth,"Leela, Zoidberg, the rest of you, this is Flexo.",Hermes,"Sweet llamas of the Bahamas! Except for that stylish beard, he looks just like Bender!"
Hermes,"Sweet llamas of the Bahamas! Except for that stylish beard, he looks just like Bender!",Flexo,"No duh, dreadlock, we're both bending units."
Flexo,"No duh, dreadlock, we're both bending units.",Bender,"Hey, brobot, what's you serial number?"
Bender,"Hey, brobot, what's you serial number?",Flexo,3370318.
Flexo,3370318.,Bender,No way! Mine's 2716057!
Bender,No way! Mine's 2716057!,Fry,I don't get it.
Fry,I don't get it.,Bender,We're both expressible as the sum of two cubes.
Bender,We're both expressible as the sum of two cubes.,Fry,"So, uh, Flexo. Sorry about crushing your body like that. You OK now?"
Fry,"So, uh, Flexo. Sorry about crushing your body like that. You OK now?",Flexo,"Nah, you're great."
Flexo,"Nah, you're great.",Fry,Well just let me know if there's anything I can do to make it up to you.
Fry,Well just let me know if there's anything I can do to make it up to you.,Flexo,"Actually, your little stunt did a number on my back. You mind rubbin' it for me?"
Flexo,"Actually, your little stunt did a number on my back. You mind rubbin' it for me?",Fry,Uh ... sure.
Fry,Uh ... sure.,Flexo,"Aw, yeah, that's it. Little lower."
Flexo,"Aw, yeah, that's it. Little lower.",Fry,How's that?
Fry,How's that?,Flexo,Yeah that's gettin' it. A little lower though.
Flexo,Yeah that's gettin' it. A little lower though.,Fry,"Uh, I can't get any lower than this."
Fry,"Uh, I can't get any lower than this.",Flexo,"I'll say, you're rubbing my ass!"
Flexo,"I'll say, you're rubbing my ass!",Robot,"#1: Hey, check it out here. Six beautiful devices. They know what you like and they'll do it to within a tolerance of one micron!"
Robot,"#1: Hey, check it out here. Six beautiful devices. They know what you like and they'll do it to within a tolerance of one micron!",Robot,"#2: Yeah! Spin those fans, baby!"
Robot,"#2: Yeah! Spin those fans, baby!",Robot,"#3: Alright, mama!"
Robot,"#3: Alright, mama!",Robot,"#4: Gyrate, baby!"
Robot,"#4: Gyrate, baby!",Fry,I don't like this place. It's 120 degrees and there's very little oxygen.
Fry,I don't like this place. It's 120 degrees and there's very little oxygen.,Bender,"Hubba-hubba, she is built -- in Mexico, I believe."
Bender,"Hubba-hubba, she is built -- in Mexico, I believe.",Flexo,"And that ain't silicon, it's tungsten. And plenty of it!"
Flexo,"And that ain't silicon, it's tungsten. And plenty of it!",Fry,"Uh, yeah. Look at that exhaust fan."
Fry,"Uh, yeah. Look at that exhaust fan.",Flexo,Ew!
Flexo,Ew!,Bender,Pervert.
Bender,Pervert.,Flexo,Yoo-hoo!
Flexo,Yoo-hoo!,Stripperbot,"Thanks, moderate spender. Please select erotic transaction."
Stripperbot,"Thanks, moderate spender. Please select erotic transaction.",Flexo,"Yeah, how 'bout a lap dance for my pal here?"
Flexo,"Yeah, how 'bout a lap dance for my pal here?",Fry,Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Fry,Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!,Fry,"I'm telling you, there's something about Flexo I don't like."
Fry,"I'm telling you, there's something about Flexo I don't like.",Flexo,Get it? It's chlorine!
Flexo,Get it? It's chlorine!,Zoidberg,It's funny because it's poisonous!
Zoidberg,It's funny because it's poisonous!,Fry,"Yeah, keep laughing, brine shrimp, but he's bad news. I regret ever running him over."
Fry,"Yeah, keep laughing, brine shrimp, but he's bad news. I regret ever running him over.",Hermes,"Take a rage dump, man. He's no worse than Bender."
Hermes,"Take a rage dump, man. He's no worse than Bender.",Fry,He's much worse. He drinks and smokes and he posts naked pictures of me on the Internet.
Fry,He's much worse. He drinks and smokes and he posts naked pictures of me on the Internet.,Amy,"That's Bender, alright."
Amy,"That's Bender, alright.",Fry,I'm talking about Flexo.
Fry,I'm talking about Flexo.,Leela,"Oh, I get it. This is cute. You're jealous of Bender's new friend!"
Leela,"Oh, I get it. This is cute. You're jealous of Bender's new friend!",Fry,"No, I'm not. Mark my words: Flexo's evil. He's the evil Bender."
Fry,"No, I'm not. Mark my words: Flexo's evil. He's the evil Bender.",Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone. Report to my bedroom for a private exhibition."
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone. Report to my bedroom for a private exhibition.",Leela,It's beautiful.
Leela,It's beautiful.,Amy,And huge.
Amy,And huge.,Fry,Can I touch it?
Fry,Can I touch it?,Zoidberg,"So what is it, already?"
Zoidberg,"So what is it, already?",Farnsworth,"It's a single atom of jumbonium, an element so rare the nucleus alone is worth more than $50,000."
Farnsworth,"It's a single atom of jumbonium, an element so rare the nucleus alone is worth more than $50,000.",Bender,How much more?
Bender,How much more?,Farnsworth,"100,000. That's why I hid it here, under my mattress."
Farnsworth,"100,000. That's why I hid it here, under my mattress.",Leela,"Uh, Professor, can we discuss this somewhere else?"
Leela,"Uh, Professor, can we discuss this somewhere else?",Farnsworth,Why certainly.
Farnsworth,Why certainly.,Farnsworth,"Your job is to deliver it, safe and sound."
Farnsworth,"Your job is to deliver it, safe and sound.",Amy,Wow! When I was a little girl on Mars I dreamed of being Miss Universe.
Amy,Wow! When I was a little girl on Mars I dreamed of being Miss Universe.,Leela,That's kinda pathetic.
Leela,That's kinda pathetic.,Amy,"Aw, come on, Leela. Deep down all girls wanna be Miss Universe."
Amy,"Aw, come on, Leela. Deep down all girls wanna be Miss Universe.",Leela,Not me.
Leela,Not me.,Amy,Really? Maybe it's just cute girls.
Amy,Really? Maybe it's just cute girls.,Farnsworth,"Due to the atoms tremendous value, Planet Express would go bankrupt if it was stolen. Therefore we'll need to hire on additional security for the mission."
Farnsworth,"Due to the atoms tremendous value, Planet Express would go bankrupt if it was stolen. Therefore we'll need to hire on additional security for the mission.",Flexo,"Oh, oh, oh, oh! Mr. Professor, right here!"
Flexo,"Oh, oh, oh, oh! Mr. Professor, right here!",Fry,"Uh, maybe we should stick with people we know and trust. I mean, Flexo's great, but--"
Fry,"Uh, maybe we should stick with people we know and trust. I mean, Flexo's great, but--",Farnsworth,"Welcome aboard, lad."
Farnsworth,"Welcome aboard, lad.",Leela,"Space bandidos have been operating in this quadrant so you'll each take 8-hour shifts guarding the safe. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry."
Leela,"Space bandidos have been operating in this quadrant so you'll each take 8-hour shifts guarding the safe. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.",Fry,"Wait, hold on. I don't like the sound of that. Let's just go alphabetically."
Fry,"Wait, hold on. I don't like the sound of that. Let's just go alphabetically.",Leela,"OK. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry."
Leela,"OK. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.",Fry,"Wait, let's go by rank."
Fry,"Wait, let's go by rank.",Leela,"OK. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry."
Leela,"OK. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.",Fry,Flexo outranks me?
Fry,Flexo outranks me?,Flexo,"That's Flexo outranks me, sir!"
Flexo,"That's Flexo outranks me, sir!",Bender,Halt. Who goes there?
Bender,Halt. Who goes there?,Fry,Don't point that at me.
Fry,Don't point that at me.,Bender,Fry who?
Bender,Fry who?,Fry,"Look, I know Flexo's your friend but I don't trust him alone with the atom."
Fry,"Look, I know Flexo's your friend but I don't trust him alone with the atom.",Bender,"My God, Fry! Just 'cause the guy's got a beard you label him as evil? Well I got a label for you, pal: An ugly little word called prejudice."
Bender,"My God, Fry! Just 'cause the guy's got a beard you label him as evil? Well I got a label for you, pal: An ugly little word called prejudice.",Fry,I'm not prejudiced.
Fry,I'm not prejudiced.,Bender,"Ah, save it for the cross-burning, Adolf!"
Bender,"Ah, save it for the cross-burning, Adolf!",Flexo,Keeping an eye on the safe?
Flexo,Keeping an eye on the safe?,Bender,You know it!
Bender,You know it!,Flexo,"Well, looks like it's my shift. You lie down and go offline for a while."
Flexo,"Well, looks like it's my shift. You lie down and go offline for a while.",Bender,Alright.
Bender,Alright.,Fry,I saw you looking at the atom!
Fry,I saw you looking at the atom!,Flexo,So? I look at lots of atoms. Shouldn't you be resting up for your shift?
Flexo,So? I look at lots of atoms. Shouldn't you be resting up for your shift?,Fry,"Oh-ho, you'd like it if I went to sleep, wouldn't you?"
Fry,"Oh-ho, you'd like it if I went to sleep, wouldn't you?",Flexo,"Nah, I'm just kidding, you're a joker."
Flexo,"Nah, I'm just kidding, you're a joker.",Fry,"Yeah, well here's a funny joke: I'm gonna sit right here till it's my shift."
Fry,"Yeah, well here's a funny joke: I'm gonna sit right here till it's my shift.",Flexo,"Suit yourself, skinbag."
Flexo,"Suit yourself, skinbag.",Fry,That I will.
Fry,That I will.,Flexo,Good.
Flexo,Good.,Fry,Good.
Fry,Good.,Flexo,Good.
Flexo,Good.,Fry,Good.
Fry,Good.,Flexo,Good.
Flexo,Good.,Fry,Good.
Fry,Good.,Fry,"Well, that's eight hours."
Fry,"Well, that's eight hours.",Flexo,"Nah, I'm kidding, you're a wonderful man."
Flexo,"Nah, I'm kidding, you're a wonderful man.",Fry,"Finally, the atom is safe."
Fry,"Finally, the atom is safe.",Leela,My God! Did you hear maracas?
Leela,My God! Did you hear maracas?,Fry,No.
Fry,No.,Leela,"Bender, lock down the ship. Don't let Flexo escape."
Leela,"Bender, lock down the ship. Don't let Flexo escape.",Bender,"Aye aye, Captain. It appears that Flexo has outwitted us all. Especially me ... Bender."
Bender,"Aye aye, Captain. It appears that Flexo has outwitted us all. Especially me ... Bender.",Leela,How could Flexo have stolen the atom?
Leela,How could Flexo have stolen the atom?,Fry,"He must have used a sleep-ray on me. Sleep-rays exist in the future, right?"
Fry,"He must have used a sleep-ray on me. Sleep-rays exist in the future, right?",Leela,No.
Leela,No.,Fry,Oh. Then I must've fallen asleep.
Fry,Oh. Then I must've fallen asleep.,Leela,Well you were sure right about Flexo being evil.
Leela,Well you were sure right about Flexo being evil.,Bender,I locked down the exits but he may have already gotten away.
Bender,I locked down the exits but he may have already gotten away.,Leela,"OK, thanks, Bender. Let's fan out and look for him."
Leela,"OK, thanks, Bender. Let's fan out and look for him.",Bender,"Roger that, I got a map of the ship right here."
Bender,"Roger that, I got a map of the ship right here.",Leela,Keep an eye on Fry. We can't rule out the possibility that he did it.
Leela,Keep an eye on Fry. We can't rule out the possibility that he did it.,Leela,Aha!
Leela,Aha!,Fry,"Uh, searching ... hmm."
Fry,"Uh, searching ... hmm.",Leela,Fry? Why are you looking for Flexo in my underpants drawer?
Leela,Fry? Why are you looking for Flexo in my underpants drawer?,Fry,I didn't find him here 10 minutes ago so I thought it was time to check again.
Fry,I didn't find him here 10 minutes ago so I thought it was time to check again.,Bender,"Well, he wasn't in the, uh, kitchen room."
Bender,"Well, he wasn't in the, uh, kitchen room.",Fry,"Say, Bender, can I hold that map for a second?"
Fry,"Say, Bender, can I hold that map for a second?",Bender,And leave me high and dry in case of a scavenger hunt? I think not.
Bender,And leave me high and dry in case of a scavenger hunt? I think not.,Fry,Give it up!
Fry,Give it up!,Bender,"Alright, take it. Sheesh!"
Bender,"Alright, take it. Sheesh!",Leela,"Well, looks like Flexo got away clean."
Leela,"Well, looks like Flexo got away clean.",Bender,It's a darn shame.
Bender,It's a darn shame.,Leela,He must have jumped ship with the atom the second we landed.
Leela,He must have jumped ship with the atom the second we landed.,Fry,Wait a minute. You're Bender.
Fry,Wait a minute. You're Bender.,Bender,"Of course, who said I wasn't?"
Bender,"Of course, who said I wasn't?",Fry,But why were you wearing that scarf and the turtleneck and this fruity number?
Fry,But why were you wearing that scarf and the turtleneck and this fruity number?,Bender,It's a little thing called style. Look it up sometime.
Bender,It's a little thing called style. Look it up sometime.,Barker,"And our tenth and final finalist, Miss Earth's Moon, The Crushinator."
Barker,"And our tenth and final finalist, Miss Earth's Moon, The Crushinator.",Crushinator,"Thank you, Bob Barker. I'm as happy as a girl can be. End statement."
Crushinator,"Thank you, Bob Barker. I'm as happy as a girl can be. End statement.",Barker,Which one of these lovely womanoids will take home the atomic tiara?
Barker,Which one of these lovely womanoids will take home the atomic tiara?,Leela,Downplay the tiara.
Leela,Downplay the tiara.,Barker,"Uh, we'll find out after these subliminal messages."
Barker,"Uh, we'll find out after these subliminal messages.",Barker,"So you lost the atom, huh? You're garbage, human garbage! Do you brain-dead space jockeys have any idea how much that thing is worth?"
Barker,"So you lost the atom, huh? You're garbage, human garbage! Do you brain-dead space jockeys have any idea how much that thing is worth?",Fry,"100,000?"
Fry,"100,000?",Leela,"200,000?"
Leela,"200,000?",Bender,"200,001?"
Bender,"200,001?",Barker,You're closest without going over.
Barker,You're closest without going over.,Fry,"Well, uh, we'll be leaving now. If you'll just sign this form saying you received the atom."
Fry,"Well, uh, we'll be leaving now. If you'll just sign this form saying you received the atom.",Barker,I'm not signing squat. You find me that damn tiara before the pageant ends.
Barker,I'm not signing squat. You find me that damn tiara before the pageant ends.,Leela,"But, Mr. Barker--"
Leela,"But, Mr. Barker--",Barker,"Enough out of you. I may be against the fur industry, but that won't stop me from skinning you alive! As long as no one wears the skin."
Barker,"Enough out of you. I may be against the fur industry, but that won't stop me from skinning you alive! As long as no one wears the skin.",Fry,Flexo!
Fry,Flexo!,Leela,Get him!
Leela,Get him!,Barker,"Next up in what is generously called the Talent Competition, performing a traditional gangsta rap, Miss-- What the--"
Barker,"Next up in what is generously called the Talent Competition, performing a traditional gangsta rap, Miss-- What the--",Bender,Gotcha!
Bender,Gotcha!,Women,Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Women,Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!,Bender,"Shoot him, he's choking me!"
Bender,"Shoot him, he's choking me!",Flexo,"No shoot him, he's choking me!"
Flexo,"No shoot him, he's choking me!",Leela,I don't know which one to shoot.
Leela,I don't know which one to shoot.,Fry,Flexo! Shoot Flexo!
Fry,Flexo! Shoot Flexo!,Amazonian,Women-only room!
Amazonian,Women-only room!,Leela,There's the atom!
Leela,There's the atom!,Bender,"Aw, jeez."
Bender,"Aw, jeez.",Fry,Bender? You stole the atom?
Fry,Bender? You stole the atom?,Bender,"Yeah, but I can explain, it's very valuable."
Bender,"Yeah, but I can explain, it's very valuable.",Flexo,I saw him snatch it while Fry was asleep. That's why I ran to tell Bob Barker.
Flexo,I saw him snatch it while Fry was asleep. That's why I ran to tell Bob Barker.,Fry!,Well not that shocked.
Fry!,Well not that shocked.,Leela,"I'm sorry we suspected you, Flexo. It's just, what with the beard and all--"
Leela,"I'm sorry we suspected you, Flexo. It's just, what with the beard and all--",Flexo,"Nah, I'm just kidding, you guys are alright."
Flexo,"Nah, I'm just kidding, you guys are alright.",Fry,I'm so confused. The Bender I liked turn out to be evil and the Bender I hated was good. How can I live my life when I can't tell good from evil?
Fry,I'm so confused. The Bender I liked turn out to be evil and the Bender I hated was good. How can I live my life when I can't tell good from evil?,Bender,"Eh, they're both fine choices. Whatever floats your boat."
Bender,"Eh, they're both fine choices. Whatever floats your boat.",URL,Is this the guy?
URL,Is this the guy?,Barker,"Huh? Oh, yeah, that looks like him. Whatever."
Barker,"Huh? Oh, yeah, that looks like him. Whatever.",Flexo,"Wait, but I--"
Flexo,"Wait, but I--",Barker,Take him away.
Barker,Take him away.,Barker,"Alright, let's put an end to this pathetic hoedown. Brannigan, read the thing."
Barker,"Alright, let's put an end to this pathetic hoedown. Brannigan, read the thing.",Zapp,And the winner is...
Zapp,And the winner is...,Leela,"It figures. Who else but Zapp Brannigan would be judging the most chauvinistic, degrading, dehumanising--"
Leela,"It figures. Who else but Zapp Brannigan would be judging the most chauvinistic, degrading, dehumanising--",Zapp,Huh? Leela?
Zapp,Huh? Leela?,Leela,I feel like a princess!
Leela,I feel like a princess!,Zapp,"There it is, Miss Universe. There it is, looking weird."
Zapp,"There it is, Miss Universe. There it is, looking weird.",Leela,I almost had that tiara.
Leela,I almost had that tiara.,Bender,Me too.
Bender,Me too.,Fry,"Well, you guys might both be losers but I just made out with that radiator woman from the radiator planet."
Fry,"Well, you guys might both be losers but I just made out with that radiator woman from the radiator planet.",Leela,"Fry, that's a radiator."
Leela,"Fry, that's a radiator.",Fry,Is there a burn ward within 10 feet of here?
Fry,Is there a burn ward within 10 feet of here?,Lincoln,Four score and 1145 years ago our forefathers' foreheads conceived a new nation.
Lincoln,Four score and 1145 years ago our forefathers' foreheads conceived a new nation.,Washington,And this Presidents' Day we honoureth those values that my body fought and died for.
Washington,And this Presidents' Day we honoureth those values that my body fought and died for.,Malfunctioning,Eddie these cars away!
Malfunctioning,Eddie these cars away!,Amy,"Hey, let's go car shopping! My parents promised if I got all B's they'd buy me a bar, and I got all C's!"
Amy,"Hey, let's go car shopping! My parents promised if I got all B's they'd buy me a bar, and I got all C's!",Bender,The recall notice says it could burst into flames in a low-speed collision.
Bender,The recall notice says it could burst into flames in a low-speed collision.,Fry,No wonder you've been staying at the back of conga lines lately.
Fry,No wonder you've been staying at the back of conga lines lately.,Leela,"I'll get my coat. Let's go, Bender."
Leela,"I'll get my coat. Let's go, Bender.",Victor,"Hello, I am Victor and I know many things about the art of unloading fine cars on beautiful women."
Victor,"Hello, I am Victor and I know many things about the art of unloading fine cars on beautiful women.",Leela,Uh-huh. Now tell us she's witty and sophisticated.
Leela,Uh-huh. Now tell us she's witty and sophisticated.,Victor,"This is the Beta Romeo. Yes, the Beta Romeo. Note the cross-your-heart seat belt which protects, lifts and separates."
Victor,"This is the Beta Romeo. Yes, the Beta Romeo. Note the cross-your-heart seat belt which protects, lifts and separates.",Thundercougarfalconbird,"salesman: Spotted her the minute you walked in, didn't you, sir? She's a real beauty."
Thundercougarfalconbird,"salesman: Spotted her the minute you walked in, didn't you, sir? She's a real beauty.",Fry,"Yup, she's beautiful coffee alright."
Fry,"Yup, she's beautiful coffee alright.",Salesman,Nothing makes you feel more like a man than a Thundercougarfalconbird. So how much were you thinking of spending on this Thundercougarfalconbird?
Salesman,Nothing makes you feel more like a man than a Thundercougarfalconbird. So how much were you thinking of spending on this Thundercougarfalconbird?,Fry,"Sorry, I'm not here to buy."
Fry,"Sorry, I'm not here to buy.",Salesman,"I understand, and it's wonderful you don't care whether anyone questions your sexual orientation."
Salesman,"I understand, and it's wonderful you don't care whether anyone questions your sexual orientation.",Fry,I care! I care plenty! I just don't know how to make them stop!
Fry,I care! I care plenty! I just don't know how to make them stop!,Salesman,One word: Thundercougarfalconbird!
Salesman,One word: Thundercougarfalconbird!,Victor,"The luxurious seats are stuffed with eagle down and the dashboard inlaid with the beaks of a thousand eagles. Also, there are some eagles under the floorboards."
Victor,"The luxurious seats are stuffed with eagle down and the dashboard inlaid with the beaks of a thousand eagles. Also, there are some eagles under the floorboards.",Amy,That's an awful lot of eagle.
Amy,That's an awful lot of eagle.,Victor,"Yes, and yet--"
Victor,"Yes, and yet--",Amy,What's wrong?
Amy,What's wrong?,Victor,It is just ... the luxury edition has so much more eagle. It saddens me to think of you missing out.
Victor,It is just ... the luxury edition has so much more eagle. It saddens me to think of you missing out.,Amy,"Oh, don't be sad. My parents are paying and they're incredibly rich."
Amy,"Oh, don't be sad. My parents are paying and they're incredibly rich.",Mechanic,I installed shock-absorbing bumpers to reduce the risk of catastrophic butt failure.
Mechanic,I installed shock-absorbing bumpers to reduce the risk of catastrophic butt failure.,Bender,"You, sir, have defaced a national treasure! I demand you restore my buttocks to their former glory."
Bender,"You, sir, have defaced a national treasure! I demand you restore my buttocks to their former glory.",Mechanic,"Alright. But sooner or later that ass is gonna blow, and when it does, I just pray you're not moonin' someone you care about."
Mechanic,"Alright. But sooner or later that ass is gonna blow, and when it does, I just pray you're not moonin' someone you care about.",Amy,woman like me needs. Victor said so.
Amy,woman like me needs. Victor said so.,Victor,No dog food for Victor tonight.
Victor,No dog food for Victor tonight.,Leela,"OK, the sticker says 55,000, but we'll only go as high as, say--"
Leela,"OK, the sticker says 55,000, but we'll only go as high as, say--",Amy,"60,000!"
Amy,"60,000!",Victor,"Oh, I will have to ask my manager."
Victor,"Oh, I will have to ask my manager.",Leela,from the sticker price.
Leela,from the sticker price.,Amy,I thought it was an auction.
Amy,I thought it was an auction.,Victor,He is not too happy.
Victor,He is not too happy.,Amy,"I'm sorry. 80,000?"
Amy,"I'm sorry. 80,000?",Amy,Uh-oh. I'm terrible at parallel parking.
Amy,Uh-oh. I'm terrible at parallel parking.,Hermes,You're bogarting my patience.
Hermes,You're bogarting my patience.,Leela,"Hermes, who were you yelling at?"
Leela,"Hermes, who were you yelling at?",Hermes,"Myself. I asked myself a Valentine's Day off, but I was in no mood for any of my shenanigans."
Hermes,"Myself. I asked myself a Valentine's Day off, but I was in no mood for any of my shenanigans.",Fry,"Valentine's Day's coming? Oh, crap! I forgot to get a girlfriend again. Well, since neither of us has a date, why don't we...?"
Fry,"Valentine's Day's coming? Oh, crap! I forgot to get a girlfriend again. Well, since neither of us has a date, why don't we...?",Leela,You just assume I can't get a Valentine's date?
Leela,You just assume I can't get a Valentine's date?,Fry,Shall we say eight o'clock?
Fry,Shall we say eight o'clock?,Amy,"Hey, I'm taking my new car out for a spin to Mercury. Anybody wanna come?"
Amy,"Hey, I'm taking my new car out for a spin to Mercury. Anybody wanna come?",Fry,"Yeah, OK. What's the weather like?"
Fry,"Yeah, OK. What's the weather like?",Amy,"The usual: Boiling lead, oceans of lava."
Amy,"The usual: Boiling lead, oceans of lava.",Fry,"So, what? Shorts?"
Fry,"So, what? Shorts?",Fry,"Boy, this heater is incredible! I'd better turn up the A.C. some more."
Fry,"Boy, this heater is incredible! I'd better turn up the A.C. some more.",Amy,"Hey, how about some icy margaritas?"
Amy,"Hey, how about some icy margaritas?",Fry,We're slowing down!
Fry,We're slowing down!,Amy,Don't worry. I'll hit the fuel guzzler!
Amy,Don't worry. I'll hit the fuel guzzler!,Fry,Uh-oh!
Fry,Uh-oh!,Amy,"It's OK, I have an emergency phone."
Amy,"It's OK, I have an emergency phone.",Fry,What are you doing?
Fry,What are you doing?,Amy,Hello? Septuple-A?
Amy,Hello? Septuple-A?,Fry,Phew!
Fry,Phew!,Amy.,"Oh, I'm gonna get sweat on my sweat-suit."
Amy.,"Oh, I'm gonna get sweat on my sweat-suit.",Fry,"Hey, tell me something: You've got all this money, how come you always dress like you're doing your laundry?"
Fry,"Hey, tell me something: You've got all this money, how come you always dress like you're doing your laundry?",Amy,As though!
Amy,As though!,Fry,"I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the Pope?"
Fry,"I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the Pope?",Amy,"You know, Fry, it's nice to find someone I can talk to about stuff, and junk."
Amy,"You know, Fry, it's nice to find someone I can talk to about stuff, and junk.",Fry,"Yeah, it's like we feel the same way about junk and stuff, or, whatever."
Fry,"Yeah, it's like we feel the same way about junk and stuff, or, whatever.",Amy,"So while they're towin' us, you wanna do it?"
Amy,"So while they're towin' us, you wanna do it?",Fry,Yeah.
Fry,Yeah.,Hermes,"Which concludes the summary of the movie I saw last night. Now, any old business?"
Hermes,"Which concludes the summary of the movie I saw last night. Now, any old business?",All,No.
All,No.,Hermes,Any new business?
Hermes,Any new business?,All,No.
All,No.,Hermes,Anyone spend the night together?
Hermes,Anyone spend the night together?,Amy,Yep.
Amy,Yep.,Fry,Kind of.
Fry,Kind of.,Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Hermes,"Oh, my God!"
Hermes,"Oh, my God!",Amy,We ran out of fuel on Mercury and one thing led to another.
Amy,We ran out of fuel on Mercury and one thing led to another.,Fry,And it led there again when we got home.
Fry,And it led there again when we got home.,Bender,"Congratulations, Fry, you snagged the perfect girlfriend. Amy's rich, she's probably got other characteristics."
Bender,"Congratulations, Fry, you snagged the perfect girlfriend. Amy's rich, she's probably got other characteristics.",Leela,Bender! Romance isn't about money.
Leela,Bender! Romance isn't about money.,Bender,miserably lonely? Puh-lease!
Bender,miserably lonely? Puh-lease!,Leela,"For your information, it's because he's hideous."
Leela,"For your information, it's because he's hideous.",Hermes,Well I think Amy and Fry go together like a lime and coconut.
Hermes,Well I think Amy and Fry go together like a lime and coconut.,Farnsworth,Do I hear wedding bells?
Farnsworth,Do I hear wedding bells?,Fry,What? No!
Fry,What? No!,Farnsworth,"Really? Oh, dear."
Farnsworth,"Really? Oh, dear.",Zoidberg,You're both very lucky. I'd pay anything to end my miserable loneliness. If only I weren't so desperately poor.
Zoidberg,You're both very lucky. I'd pay anything to end my miserable loneliness. If only I weren't so desperately poor.,Bender,Wait. You mean people will pay good money for romance? Hmm. I think I have a scheme so deviously clever that I--
Bender,Wait. You mean people will pay good money for romance? Hmm. I think I have a scheme so deviously clever that I--,Judge,$500 and time served.
Judge,$500 and time served.,Bender,"Well, pay the man!"
Bender,"Well, pay the man!",Hookerbot,"Bender, honey, we love you!"
Hookerbot,"Bender, honey, we love you!",Bender,"Shut up, baby, I know it!"
Bender,"Shut up, baby, I know it!",Bender,"Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping but you rarely have to use the phrase upside your head."
Bender,"Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping but you rarely have to use the phrase upside your head.",Leela,"Bender, this is stupid. Why would anyone come to you for romantic help?"
Leela,"Bender, this is stupid. Why would anyone come to you for romantic help?",Bender,Hey! Don't make me go upside your head!
Bender,Hey! Don't make me go upside your head!,Hermes,Fry! Amy! Put your pants back on! I need a stapler.
Hermes,Fry! Amy! Put your pants back on! I need a stapler.,Zoidberg,Stop! Stop! If you interrupt the mating dance the male will become enraged and maul us with his fearsome gonad.
Zoidberg,Stop! Stop! If you interrupt the mating dance the male will become enraged and maul us with his fearsome gonad.,Fry,"Wait, why aren't we making out?"
Fry,"Wait, why aren't we making out?",Amy,I 'unno.
Amy,I 'unno.,Bender,"OK, Mister...?"
Bender,"OK, Mister...?",Zapp,"Uh, Smith! Zapp Smith. Uh, Brannigan."
Zapp,"Uh, Smith! Zapp Smith. Uh, Brannigan.",Bender,Just check off the things you're looking for in a love partner.
Bender,Just check off the things you're looking for in a love partner.,Zapp,"Mmm, I'll just have everything on the menu."
Zapp,"Mmm, I'll just have everything on the menu.",Bender,Say hello to Miss Right!
Bender,Say hello to Miss Right!,Zapp,Hello!
Zapp,Hello!,Fry,Wow! We're great kissers!
Fry,Wow! We're great kissers!,Amy,"Yeah! Hey, later, you wanna drive out to Europa? We could have a picnic and spit watermelon seeds at Jupiter."
Amy,"Yeah! Hey, later, you wanna drive out to Europa? We could have a picnic and spit watermelon seeds at Jupiter.",Fry,"Hey, yeah! I used to spit at stuff back in the 20th century. Ah, it's cool how we sort of think exactly alike, and junk."
Fry,"Hey, yeah! I used to spit at stuff back in the 20th century. Ah, it's cool how we sort of think exactly alike, and junk.",Amy,"Yeah. Y'know, Fry, I really like hanging out with you."
Amy,"Yeah. Y'know, Fry, I really like hanging out with you.",Fry?,"She's getting way too serious. I'm not a one woman man, Leela."
Fry?,"She's getting way too serious. I'm not a one woman man, Leela.",Leela,You'll be back to zero soon enough.
Leela,You'll be back to zero soon enough.,Fry,Don't you get it? She's smothering me.
Fry,Don't you get it? She's smothering me.,Amy,Hi.
Amy,Hi.,Fry?,Now she's bothering me when I'm at work.
Fry?,Now she's bothering me when I'm at work.,Leela,Fry--
Leela,Fry--,Fry,"I'm doing my job, there's Amy; I spend a few hours selecting a candy from the machine, there's Amy; I wake up the morning after sleeping with Amy, there's Amy!"
Fry,"I'm doing my job, there's Amy; I spend a few hours selecting a candy from the machine, there's Amy; I wake up the morning after sleeping with Amy, there's Amy!",Leela,I think you're over reacting.
Leela,I think you're over reacting.,Fry,money.
Fry,money.,Leela,"Fry, she's pulling down billionaire trust-fund money."
Leela,"Fry, she's pulling down billionaire trust-fund money.",Fry,"Then she wants me as a trophy husband. Leela, you gotta come to Europa with us. I can't be alone with her."
Fry,"Then she wants me as a trophy husband. Leela, you gotta come to Europa with us. I can't be alone with her.",Amy,"So, ready for a secluded picnic with just you and me?"
Amy,"So, ready for a secluded picnic with just you and me?",Fry,"Uh, Dr. Zoidberg."
Fry,"Uh, Dr. Zoidberg.",Zoidberg,Did someone say something about a free hot meal?
Zoidberg,Did someone say something about a free hot meal?,Zoidberg,All gone! Can I drive?
Zoidberg,All gone! Can I drive?,Amy,"No. So, Fry, you busy tomorrow? I got two tickets to the big ape fight."
Amy,"No. So, Fry, you busy tomorrow? I got two tickets to the big ape fight.",Fry,"Jeez, we're already planning to spend Valentine's Day together. Isn't that enough?"
Fry,"Jeez, we're already planning to spend Valentine's Day together. Isn't that enough?",Amy,"OK, sure. What do you wanna do for Valentine's Day?"
Amy,"OK, sure. What do you wanna do for Valentine's Day?",Fry,"Oh, so all of a sudden we're spending Valentine's Day together?"
Fry,"Oh, so all of a sudden we're spending Valentine's Day together?",Amy,But you just said--
Amy,But you just said--,Fry,"That's it, Amy, we have to talk. Zoidberg, you drive."
Fry,"That's it, Amy, we have to talk. Zoidberg, you drive.",Zoidberg,Wahoo!
Zoidberg,Wahoo!,Fry,"Pardon me, excuse me."
Fry,"Pardon me, excuse me.",Zoidberg,"Ah, I'll just turn the wheel to maximum fastness!"
Zoidberg,"Ah, I'll just turn the wheel to maximum fastness!",Fry,"Amy, you know how at first you like chocolate but then you start to get tired of it because it always wants to hang out with you?"
Fry,"Amy, you know how at first you like chocolate but then you start to get tired of it because it always wants to hang out with you?",Amy,Huh? You don't like chocolate?
Amy,Huh? You don't like chocolate?,Fry,"Look, could chocolate just let me finish?"
Fry,"Look, could chocolate just let me finish?",Zoidberg,"Vroom, vroom! And the winner of the big car race is ... Hot Rod Zoidberg!"
Zoidberg,"Vroom, vroom! And the winner of the big car race is ... Hot Rod Zoidberg!",Fry,"Amy, what I'm trying to say is, I think maybe you and I should stop--"
Fry,"Amy, what I'm trying to say is, I think maybe you and I should stop--",Zoidberg,"Uh-oh. Here, you drive!"
Zoidberg,"Uh-oh. Here, you drive!",Zoidberg,Fry? Are you alright?
Zoidberg,Fry? Are you alright?,Fry,Ow! My head is killing me. What happened? Was anybody hurt?
Fry,Ow! My head is killing me. What happened? Was anybody hurt?,Zoidberg,"No, no, no, no, no, of course not. Nobody but you. I'm afraid your body was badly damaged in the crash."
Zoidberg,"No, no, no, no, no, of course not. Nobody but you. I'm afraid your body was badly damaged in the crash.",Fry,How badly?
Fry,How badly?,Zoidberg,"Don't worry, I managed to keep your head alive with some quick surgery."
Zoidberg,"Don't worry, I managed to keep your head alive with some quick surgery.",Fry,Where is it?
Fry,Where is it?,Zoidberg,There.
Zoidberg,There.,Amy,"Looks like we'll be spending a lot more time together, Fry!"
Amy,"Looks like we'll be spending a lot more time together, Fry!",Leela,This sort of thing always happens with office romances.
Leela,This sort of thing always happens with office romances.,Zoidberg,Upsy daisy!
Zoidberg,Upsy daisy!,Fry,"Well, Amy, I'll try not to interfere with your life too much."
Fry,"Well, Amy, I'll try not to interfere with your life too much.",Amy,Fry!
Amy,Fry!,Fry,"Ooh, sorry. I guess I control that arm."
Fry,"Ooh, sorry. I guess I control that arm.",Amy,"So, what was it you wanted to talk about before we crashed anyway?"
Amy,"So, what was it you wanted to talk about before we crashed anyway?",Fry,I'll meet you in the closet.
Fry,I'll meet you in the closet.,Fry,"Amy, I really like you, as a friend. But I think we're spending too much time together."
Fry,"Amy, I really like you, as a friend. But I think we're spending too much time together.",Amy,You're breaking up with me?
Amy,You're breaking up with me?,Fry,I just think we should start seeing other people.
Fry,I just think we should start seeing other people.,Amy,If that's how you feel.
Amy,If that's how you feel.,Fry,"I'm sorry, but it is."
Fry,"I'm sorry, but it is.",Amy,"Well, whatever. Hey, listen, as long as we're not seeing each other, you mind if I ask someone else out for Valentine's Day?"
Amy,"Well, whatever. Hey, listen, as long as we're not seeing each other, you mind if I ask someone else out for Valentine's Day?",Fry,Huh?
Fry,Huh?,Amy,"I mean, unless it would make you feel bad, being a third wheel."
Amy,"I mean, unless it would make you feel bad, being a third wheel.",Fry,"Hey, I can get a date too. Now that I'm single, I'll attract all sorts of women!"
Fry,"Hey, I can get a date too. Now that I'm single, I'll attract all sorts of women!",Amy,With my body I think you might only attract one sort of woman.
Amy,With my body I think you might only attract one sort of woman.,Fry,Oh!
Fry,Oh!,Leela,"So, how's business?"
Leela,"So, how's business?",Bender,"Are you familiar with my friend Al Gore? I'm tellin' you, losers get really desperate around Valentine's Day."
Bender,"Are you familiar with my friend Al Gore? I'm tellin' you, losers get really desperate around Valentine's Day.",Leela,How much?
Leela,How much?,Bender,500 bucks.
Bender,500 bucks.,Leela,Done.
Leela,Done.,Bender,Zapp Brannigan OK?
Bender,Zapp Brannigan OK?,Leela,No!
Leela,No!,Bender,600.
Bender,600.,Fry,In private?
Fry,In private?,Amy,"Oh, no problem."
Amy,"Oh, no problem.",Fry,"This is an emergency. Amy made Valentine's plans with some goon and I'm gonna be stuck there, lonely and miserable. Will you be my date, please?"
Fry,"This is an emergency. Amy made Valentine's plans with some goon and I'm gonna be stuck there, lonely and miserable. Will you be my date, please?",Leela,"You're too late, Fry. I'm sharing Valentine's Day with a very special man. He's not Zapp Brannigan or anything!"
Leela,"You're too late, Fry. I'm sharing Valentine's Day with a very special man. He's not Zapp Brannigan or anything!",Fry,Then I have no choice but to do something so pitiful and embarrassing that I'm ashamed to tell you about it.
Fry,Then I have no choice but to do something so pitiful and embarrassing that I'm ashamed to tell you about it.,Leela,Bender's in his office.
Leela,Bender's in his office.,Fry,Thanks.
Fry,Thanks.,Bender,"I got your hook-up, Fry. Now, my usual fee's 500 bucks, but seeing as how it's you, I'll need it in advance."
Bender,"I got your hook-up, Fry. Now, my usual fee's 500 bucks, but seeing as how it's you, I'll need it in advance.",Amy,"OK, Fry, we're done putting on the bra."
Amy,"OK, Fry, we're done putting on the bra.",Fry,Why exactly did you shave your legs anyway? Are you expecting something to happen with your Valentine's date?
Fry,Why exactly did you shave your legs anyway? Are you expecting something to happen with your Valentine's date?,Amy,What business is it of yours?
Amy,What business is it of yours?,Fry,And another thing: You're using an awful lot of make-up there.
Fry,And another thing: You're using an awful lot of make-up there.,Amy,This is deodorant.
Amy,This is deodorant.,Fry,What does it do?
Fry,What does it do?,Amy,"C'mon in, Gary! I'll just be another 20 minutes."
Amy,"C'mon in, Gary! I'll just be another 20 minutes.",Gary,I'll be waiting.
Gary,I'll be waiting.,Fry,20 minutes? You're practically ready now!
Fry,20 minutes? You're practically ready now!,Amy,"Yeah, but it's good to make them wait a little."
Amy,"Yeah, but it's good to make them wait a little.",Fry,"Oh, God, it's true!"
Fry,"Oh, God, it's true!",Gary,That dress looks great on you.
Gary,That dress looks great on you.,Amy,Thanks.
Amy,Thanks.,Fry,she?
Fry,she?,Gary,"I must say, Amy, you're all made up, just like Fry's date. Get it?"
Gary,"I must say, Amy, you're all made up, just like Fry's date. Get it?",Amy,Mm-mm.
Amy,Mm-mm.,Fry,I've got a date. She'll be along any minute.
Fry,I've got a date. She'll be along any minute.,Bender,"Fry, look who I found! It's Petunia, your dream girl!"
Bender,"Fry, look who I found! It's Petunia, your dream girl!",Petunia,How's them eats?
Petunia,How's them eats?,Fry,Uh--
Fry,Uh--,Petunia,Kids'll be hungry.
Petunia,Kids'll be hungry.,Fry,She seems a little old for me.
Fry,She seems a little old for me.,Bender,She is well-travelled. And I don't mean she travels a lot!
Bender,She is well-travelled. And I don't mean she travels a lot!,Petunia,Wheels fell off my house.
Petunia,Wheels fell off my house.,Bender,Now how about a rose for the lady? Five bucks a pop!
Bender,Now how about a rose for the lady? Five bucks a pop!,Gary,I'll take one.
Gary,I'll take one.,Fry,"Oh, yeah? Well I want one too."
Fry,"Oh, yeah? Well I want one too.",Bender,Eight bucks.
Bender,Eight bucks.,Fry,But you just said--
Fry,But you just said--,Bender,Demand suddenly skyrocketed. You all saw it!
Bender,Demand suddenly skyrocketed. You all saw it!,Bender,"Leela, meet your future husband Sal."
Bender,"Leela, meet your future husband Sal.",Sal,"Nice eyeball, eyeball."
Sal,"Nice eyeball, eyeball.",Leela,"Nice ass, ass."
Leela,"Nice ass, ass.",Bender,"Buy her a rose, I guarantee she'll put out!"
Bender,"Buy her a rose, I guarantee she'll put out!",Sal,"Eh, I'll take my chances."
Sal,"Eh, I'll take my chances.",Zapp,Cheers!
Zapp,Cheers!,Woman,Cheers!
Woman,Cheers!,Petunia,So tell me about your prospects. You a good gambler?
Petunia,So tell me about your prospects. You a good gambler?,Fry,"Well, ma'am, I--"
Fry,"Well, ma'am, I--",Petunia,What's your game? Bingo? Keno? Wait a minute! You don't have your own body.
Petunia,What's your game? Bingo? Keno? Wait a minute! You don't have your own body.,Fry,"No, but I control this arm."
Fry,"No, but I control this arm.",Petunia,"Slots player, huh? Sorry, but I think I can do better."
Petunia,"Slots player, huh? Sorry, but I think I can do better.",Fry,"Wait, come back, uh, darling."
Fry,"Wait, come back, uh, darling.",Petunia,"Can't, hon', I gotta catch my bus back to Nutley. I'd kiss you goodnight but I lost my teeth pulling out a stump."
Petunia,"Can't, hon', I gotta catch my bus back to Nutley. I'd kiss you goodnight but I lost my teeth pulling out a stump.",Sal,"So anyways, Leela, I'd love to take a whack at ya but that 10:15 to Nutley ain't goin' nowheres without yours truly behinds the wheel."
Sal,"So anyways, Leela, I'd love to take a whack at ya but that 10:15 to Nutley ain't goin' nowheres without yours truly behinds the wheel.",Petunia,"Excuse me, did you say 10:15 to Nutley?"
Petunia,"Excuse me, did you say 10:15 to Nutley?",Sal,"Why, yes I dids."
Sal,"Why, yes I dids.",Leela,Bender! Did you just round up our dates at the bus station?
Leela,Bender! Did you just round up our dates at the bus station?,Bender,Of course not.
Bender,Of course not.,Sal,Anybodys else for Nutley?
Sal,Anybodys else for Nutley?,Zapp,"Baby, wait! You didn't show me your surprise."
Zapp,"Baby, wait! You didn't show me your surprise.",Gary,You know what I'd like to do...?
Gary,You know what I'd like to do...?,Fry,"Oh, jeez, get a room!"
Fry,"Oh, jeez, get a room!",Gary,Maybe later.
Gary,Maybe later.,Fry,"Hey, I have an idea: Let's all go out for ice cream."
Fry,"Hey, I have an idea: Let's all go out for ice cream.",Gary,"Actually, I thought Amy might like to come back to my place for coffee."
Gary,"Actually, I thought Amy might like to come back to my place for coffee.",Amy,I don't really like coffee.
Amy,I don't really like coffee.,Gary,Neither do I.
Gary,Neither do I.,Amy,"Ooh, I feel a little tipsy!"
Amy,"Ooh, I feel a little tipsy!",Gary,Let me pick up the check.
Gary,Let me pick up the check.,Fry,Ooh! Ow!
Fry,Ooh! Ow!,Leela,"Why, if it isn't my favourite head on Amy's body: Fry."
Leela,"Why, if it isn't my favourite head on Amy's body: Fry.",Fry,"Oh, Leela!"
Fry,"Oh, Leela!",Amy,We were just on our way out.
Amy,We were just on our way out.,Leela,"Nonsense, the evening's young. So, Gary, what do you do for a living?"
Leela,"Nonsense, the evening's young. So, Gary, what do you do for a living?",Gary,I'm a banking industry regulator.
Gary,I'm a banking industry regulator.,Leela,"Really? Y'know, I heard that banking industry regulations are really very simple."
Leela,"Really? Y'know, I heard that banking industry regulations are really very simple.",Gary,"Oh, no, that's not true. You see, modern banking regulations are a product of five different regulatory traditions. Six if you wanna get technical."
Gary,"Oh, no, that's not true. You see, modern banking regulations are a product of five different regulatory traditions. Six if you wanna get technical.",Leela,"Oh, I do."
Leela,"Oh, I do.",Gary,It all began in 1410 when a number of noblemen convened...
Gary,It all began in 1410 when a number of noblemen convened...,Fry,Thank you.
Fry,Thank you.,Zoidberg,"There you are, good as new. Except for your dorsal fin. I'm afraid I couldn't find it after the crash."
Zoidberg,"There you are, good as new. Except for your dorsal fin. I'm afraid I couldn't find it after the crash.",Fry,Can I live without it?
Fry,Can I live without it?,Zoidberg,If you call that living.
Zoidberg,If you call that living.,Farnsworth,But I guess we're just two different people.
Farnsworth,But I guess we're just two different people.,Fry,"So, uh, thanks for the ride, Amy. And I hope there are no hard feelings about your date, or stuff."
Fry,"So, uh, thanks for the ride, Amy. And I hope there are no hard feelings about your date, or stuff.",Amy,"It's OK, I had fun. And if I ever feel lonely I can just look over at this disfiguring scar and think of you."
Amy,"It's OK, I had fun. And if I ever feel lonely I can just look over at this disfiguring scar and think of you.",Fry,"Well, anyway, it's nice to have my own body back."
Fry,"Well, anyway, it's nice to have my own body back.",Leela,So how's the old corpse? Everything hooked up OK?
Leela,So how's the old corpse? Everything hooked up OK?,Fry,"Ow! Listen, Leela. Thanks for rescuing me last night."
Fry,"Ow! Listen, Leela. Thanks for rescuing me last night.",Leela,Anytime. I actually enjoyed hanging out with you.
Leela,Anytime. I actually enjoyed hanging out with you.,Bender,"Yep, everything worked out great thanks to good old Bender."
Bender,"Yep, everything worked out great thanks to good old Bender.",Leela,Come on! It's not like you intentionally set us up with bad dates so we'd spend Valentine's Day together.
Leela,Come on! It's not like you intentionally set us up with bad dates so we'd spend Valentine's Day together.,Bender,"Didn't I, Leela? Didn't I?"
Bender,"Didn't I, Leela? Didn't I?",Leela,No! You didn't! You just corralled a bunch of stiffs at the bus station and pocketed our money!
Leela,No! You didn't! You just corralled a bunch of stiffs at the bus station and pocketed our money!,Bender,"True. But in the end, isn't that what Valentine's Day is really all about?"
Bender,"True. But in the end, isn't that what Valentine's Day is really all about?",Leela,Yeah.
Leela,Yeah.,Fry,Watch the neck! Watch the neck!
Fry,Watch the neck! Watch the neck!,Bender,My ass! My beautiful ass!
Bender,My ass! My beautiful ass!,Farnsworth,And Hermes returns from his vacation today.
Farnsworth,And Hermes returns from his vacation today.,Hermes,"Good morning, people."
Hermes,"Good morning, people.",Fry,"Hey, Hermes!"
Fry,"Hey, Hermes!",Zoidberg,Hello!
Zoidberg,Hello!,Leela,Good to see you.
Leela,Good to see you.,Farnsworth,Yo!
Farnsworth,Yo!,Bender,My man!
Bender,My man!,Amy,So how was the Spleef Nebula?
Amy,So how was the Spleef Nebula?,Hermes,The flight had a stopover on the Brain Slug Planet. Hermes liked it so much he decided to stay of his own free will.
Hermes,The flight had a stopover on the Brain Slug Planet. Hermes liked it so much he decided to stay of his own free will.,Fry,Hermes has all the fun. Wait a second! He's got a Brain Slug on his head!
Fry,Hermes has all the fun. Wait a second! He's got a Brain Slug on his head!,Leela,Shh! You're gonna get us all assimilated!
Leela,Shh! You're gonna get us all assimilated!,Amy,Just act normal and switch to a garlic shampoo.
Amy,Just act normal and switch to a garlic shampoo.,Hermes,On to new business. Today's mission is for all of you to go to the Brain Slug Planet.
Hermes,On to new business. Today's mission is for all of you to go to the Brain Slug Planet.,Zoidberg,What are we going to do there?
Zoidberg,What are we going to do there?,Hermes,Just walk around not wearing a helmet.
Hermes,Just walk around not wearing a helmet.,Farnsworth,Let's ditch him and go to the movies!
Farnsworth,Let's ditch him and go to the movies!,Fry,"Hey, yeah!"
Fry,"Hey, yeah!",Zoidberg,I'm seeing a movie with friends!
Zoidberg,I'm seeing a movie with friends!,Fry,Cool! Let's see this one!
Fry,Cool! Let's see this one!,Amy,Guk! I hate subtitles. Alien films are so pretentious.
Amy,Guk! I hate subtitles. Alien films are so pretentious.,Zoidberg,It's about an upside-down world where lobster is slave to clam.
Zoidberg,It's about an upside-down world where lobster is slave to clam.,Fry,"Yeah, I wanna see that."
Fry,"Yeah, I wanna see that.",Bender,"Good point, Bender."
Bender,"Good point, Bender.",Fry,I'll take a small Slurm.
Fry,I'll take a small Slurm.,Refreshment-bot,"For only 25 cents less, you can get a super-small."
Refreshment-bot,"For only 25 cents less, you can get a super-small.",Fry,"Oh, man!"
Fry,"Oh, man!",Bender,"Hey, gimme a large diet malt liquor and a popcorn with extra motor oil."
Bender,"Hey, gimme a large diet malt liquor and a popcorn with extra motor oil.",Farnsworth,Down in front!
Farnsworth,Down in front!,Fry,futuristic!
Fry,futuristic!,Crow,T. Robot: Shh! Don't talk during the movie.
Crow,T. Robot: Shh! Don't talk during the movie.,Announcer,"And in the world of Ultimate Robot Fighting, the Masked Unit wins his championship bout against Gorgeous Gonks by technical melting."
Announcer,"And in the world of Ultimate Robot Fighting, the Masked Unit wins his championship bout against Gorgeous Gonks by technical melting.",Bender,You mind taking your head off?
Bender,You mind taking your head off?,Robot,"I'm sorry, sir, but I need it to watch the movie."
Robot,"I'm sorry, sir, but I need it to watch the movie.",Bender,over here to describe it to you later.
Bender,over here to describe it to you later.,Robot,"Sir, she is as the factory made her."
Robot,"Sir, she is as the factory made her.",Bender,Well they should have stopped making her about halfway through.
Bender,Well they should have stopped making her about halfway through.,Fembot,Whee!
Fembot,Whee!,Calculon,Calculon Enterprises.
Calculon,Calculon Enterprises.,Monique,"Calculon, a fight scene has broken out at the special effects warehouse. Come quickly before a fiery explosion chases someone down a hallway."
Monique,"Calculon, a fight scene has broken out at the special effects warehouse. Come quickly before a fiery explosion chases someone down a hallway.",Calculon,I have no choice but to--
Calculon,I have no choice but to--,Mr.,"Moviefone: If you want Calculon to race to the laser gun battle in his hover-Ferarri, press 1. If you want Calculon to double-check his paperwork, press 2. Enter now."
Mr.,"Moviefone: If you want Calculon to race to the laser gun battle in his hover-Ferarri, press 1. If you want Calculon to double-check his paperwork, press 2. Enter now.",Mr.,Moviefone: You have pressed 2.
Mr.,Moviefone: You have pressed 2.,Fry,"No, I didn't!"
Fry,"No, I didn't!",Mr.,Moviefone: I'm almost positive you did.
Mr.,Moviefone: I'm almost positive you did.,Calculon,"Add in the carryover from form 16A, then deduct line 2B..."
Calculon,"Add in the carryover from form 16A, then deduct line 2B...",Robot,"Pardon me, sir, but you seem to be inadvertently kicking my seat."
Robot,"Pardon me, sir, but you seem to be inadvertently kicking my seat.",Bender,"Pardon me, sir, but you seem to be bleh, bleh..."
Bender,"Pardon me, sir, but you seem to be bleh, bleh...",Robot,"Yes, that's the gist of what I said. Would you mind?"
Robot,"Yes, that's the gist of what I said. Would you mind?",Bender,"Sure thing, pal."
Bender,"Sure thing, pal.",Robot,"Uh, sir?"
Robot,"Uh, sir?",Bender,Who threw that?
Bender,Who threw that?,Robot,"That's it! Sir, I challenge you to fisticuffs!"
Robot,"That's it! Sir, I challenge you to fisticuffs!",Hattie,Let's all go to the lobby!
Hattie,Let's all go to the lobby!,Robot,I'm gonna open a file of whup-ass on you!
Robot,I'm gonna open a file of whup-ass on you!,Leela,"Bender, do you know who that was?"
Leela,"Bender, do you know who that was?",Man,#1: Cripes! The Masked Unit! You knocked him out cold.
Man,#1: Cripes! The Masked Unit! You knocked him out cold.,Man,#2: I'm impressed.
Man,#2: I'm impressed.,Doubledeal,"Son, I'm the commissioner of Ultimate Robot Fighting. I'm a connoisseur of jerks like you who pick fights in movie theatres and you're the biggest I've ever seen."
Doubledeal,"Son, I'm the commissioner of Ultimate Robot Fighting. I'm a connoisseur of jerks like you who pick fights in movie theatres and you're the biggest I've ever seen.",Bender,You should see me at funerals.
Bender,You should see me at funerals.,Doubledeal,"Kid, I want you in the Ultimate Robot Fighting League."
Doubledeal,"Kid, I want you in the Ultimate Robot Fighting League.",Bender,Ultimate Robot Fighting? Sounds pleasant! I'll do it.
Bender,Ultimate Robot Fighting? Sounds pleasant! I'll do it.,Flabby,My hero!
Flabby,My hero!,Farnsworth,Aw. They don't make movies like this anymore.
Farnsworth,Aw. They don't make movies like this anymore.,Bender,"I'm gonna be the greatest Ultimate Robot Fighter ever. Float like a floatbot, sting like an automatic stinging machine!"
Bender,"I'm gonna be the greatest Ultimate Robot Fighter ever. Float like a floatbot, sting like an automatic stinging machine!",Amy,be an Ultimate Robot Fighter. It's the most brutal form of competition in the galaxy!
Amy,be an Ultimate Robot Fighter. It's the most brutal form of competition in the galaxy!,Bender,It is?
Bender,It is?,Farnsworth,"There are no rules. Two robots enter, one robot leaves. Then later the other robot leaves after being declared the winner."
Farnsworth,"There are no rules. Two robots enter, one robot leaves. Then later the other robot leaves after being declared the winner.",Bender,"Well, that doesn't sound so bad."
Bender,"Well, that doesn't sound so bad.",Farnsworth,"Oh, did I mention the crippling, agonising pain? I'm pretty sure I did. Oh, yes, definitely."
Farnsworth,"Oh, did I mention the crippling, agonising pain? I'm pretty sure I did. Oh, yes, definitely.",Bender,Crippling pain? That's not covered by my insurance fraud! Count me out.
Bender,Crippling pain? That's not covered by my insurance fraud! Count me out.,Leela,No! You've got to do it. I don't care how suicidal it is.
Leela,No! You've got to do it. I don't care how suicidal it is.,Fry,Hey! How come when I wanna do fun stuff that'll kill me you're against it?
Fry,Hey! How come when I wanna do fun stuff that'll kill me you're against it?,Leela,"This is more important than that marble-eating contest, Fry! It's about pride. Let me tell you a story from my childhood."
Leela,"This is more important than that marble-eating contest, Fry! It's about pride. Let me tell you a story from my childhood.",Zoidberg,"Oh, again with the orphanarium!"
Zoidberg,"Oh, again with the orphanarium!",Leela,"When I was growing up at the orphanarium, I got picked on a lot."
Leela,"When I was growing up at the orphanarium, I got picked on a lot.",Leela,My only outlet was Arcturan Kung Fu.
Leela,My only outlet was Arcturan Kung Fu.,Fnog,"Excellent. Bill, Keith, you will go to Junior Championships. Bill, congratulate Keith when he regains consciousness."
Fnog,"Excellent. Bill, Keith, you will go to Junior Championships. Bill, congratulate Keith when he regains consciousness.",Leela,"But, Master Fnog, I can beat these dorks with one eye closed."
Leela,"But, Master Fnog, I can beat these dorks with one eye closed.",Fnog,Perhaps. But there is more to winning than beating your opponent. You lack the will of the warrior.
Fnog,Perhaps. But there is more to winning than beating your opponent. You lack the will of the warrior.,Leela,What do you mean? Watch this!
Leela,What do you mean? Watch this!,Bill,Ow!
Bill,Ow!,Fnog,"No girl has the will of a warrior. You have the will of a housewife or, at best, the schoolmarm."
Fnog,"No girl has the will of a warrior. You have the will of a housewife or, at best, the schoolmarm.",Leela,That's it. I'll take you on right now.
Leela,That's it. I'll take you on right now.,Fnog,Rematch? You lose again! Had enough? I thought so!
Fnog,Rematch? You lose again! Had enough? I thought so!,Leela,I lost my chance to be a champion. I won't let you throw away yours.
Leela,I lost my chance to be a champion. I won't let you throw away yours.,Bender,Leela's right! I don't wanna end up a loser like her. Count me back in!
Bender,Leela's right! I don't wanna end up a loser like her. Count me back in!,Leela,Let's see what you got. Touch your toes.
Leela,Let's see what you got. Touch your toes.,Bender,Still ... can't ... reach!
Bender,Still ... can't ... reach!,Bender,Let's commence preparations for rumbling!
Bender,Let's commence preparations for rumbling!,Referee,"And in this corner, from and made of Parts Unknown: The Clearcutter!"
Referee,"And in this corner, from and made of Parts Unknown: The Clearcutter!",Fry,Bender rules!
Fry,Bender rules!,Hermes,I got you an official Bender hat.
Hermes,I got you an official Bender hat.,Fry,I-- Hey! Cut that out!
Fry,I-- Hey! Cut that out!,Bender,You can't hit what you can't see!
Bender,You can't hit what you can't see!,Leela,Or a drill through your face. Now quit scratching your axe-hole and get out there.
Leela,Or a drill through your face. Now quit scratching your axe-hole and get out there.,Bender,Huh?
Bender,Huh?,Referee,And the winner is ... Bender!
Referee,And the winner is ... Bender!,Doubledeal,"Nice work out there, kid."
Doubledeal,"Nice work out there, kid.",Bender,"Y'know, I think I he might be dead. I took a life!"
Bender,"Y'know, I think I he might be dead. I took a life!",Clearcutter,"Hi, boss. Yo, dude!"
Clearcutter,"Hi, boss. Yo, dude!",Bender,"Hey, he's not dead. What's up with that?"
Bender,"Hey, he's not dead. What's up with that?",Doubledeal,"It's a secret, so keep it under your head, but the most popular robot always wins."
Doubledeal,"It's a secret, so keep it under your head, but the most popular robot always wins.",Bender,You mean I'm not a great fighter? I just won 'cause I'm popular?
Bender,You mean I'm not a great fighter? I just won 'cause I'm popular?,Doubledeal,Bingo!
Doubledeal,Bingo!,Bender,Woo-hoo! I'm popular!
Bender,Woo-hoo! I'm popular!,Doubledeal,"In fact, you're more than popular, you're pure lowest common denominator."
Doubledeal,"In fact, you're more than popular, you're pure lowest common denominator.",Bender,Go Bender! Go Bender! Go Bender!
Bender,Go Bender! Go Bender! Go Bender!,Referee,Presenting Bender the Offender!
Referee,Presenting Bender the Offender!,Bender,I'm just an ex-con trying to go straight and get my kids back.
Bender,I'm just an ex-con trying to go straight and get my kids back.,Referee,Versus ... Billionairebot!
Referee,Versus ... Billionairebot!,Referee,Versus: The Foreigner!
Referee,Versus: The Foreigner!,Foreigner,passport!
Foreigner,passport!,Referee,Versus ... The Chain Smoker!
Referee,Versus ... The Chain Smoker!,Chain,Smoker: I love smoking. And after I win the fight I'm heading straight to your favourite restaurant.
Chain,Smoker: I love smoking. And after I win the fight I'm heading straight to your favourite restaurant.,Bender,"You know, I'm also an Ultimate Robot Lover."
Bender,"You know, I'm also an Ultimate Robot Lover.",Leela,Bender! You're three hours late. You can't give up on your training now after both of us worked so hard.
Leela,Bender! You're three hours late. You can't give up on your training now after both of us worked so hard.,Bender,"What do you mean, we?"
Bender,"What do you mean, we?",Leela,I said us.
Leela,I said us.,Bender,"Hey, Bender the Offender doesn't need you. Bender the Offender doesn't need anybody!"
Bender,"Hey, Bender the Offender doesn't need you. Bender the Offender doesn't need anybody!",Fembot,"#1: What about us, Mr. The Offender?"
Fembot,"#1: What about us, Mr. The Offender?",Bender,Well obviously I need floozies! Let's roll!
Bender,Well obviously I need floozies! Let's roll!,Bender,"Howdy, chief. For my next bout, what do you say I fight these two bimbos in some mud?"
Bender,"Howdy, chief. For my next bout, what do you say I fight these two bimbos in some mud?",Doubledeal,"Actually, we've decided to go in a different direction."
Doubledeal,"Actually, we've decided to go in a different direction.",Bender,What if I told your we wouldn't be fighting in the conventional sense?
Bender,What if I told your we wouldn't be fighting in the conventional sense?,Doubledeal,"Bender, your popularity is slipping."
Doubledeal,"Bender, your popularity is slipping.",Foreigner,Sales of your Bender Brand French milk bath soaps are down 20%.
Foreigner,Sales of your Bender Brand French milk bath soaps are down 20%.,Bender,"Those morons! I said pea berry, not sandalwood!"
Bender,"Those morons! I said pea berry, not sandalwood!",Doubledeal,"Damnit, Bender! If you can't move sandalwood, you don't belong in this league! That's why you're gonna lose next week's title match."
Doubledeal,"Damnit, Bender! If you can't move sandalwood, you don't belong in this league! That's why you're gonna lose next week's title match.",Bender,But the crowd loves me.
Bender,But the crowd loves me.,Doubledeal,Perhaps. But let's see how they feel about your new persona: The Gender Bender.
Doubledeal,Perhaps. But let's see how they feel about your new persona: The Gender Bender.,Billionairebot,You'll be the most unpopular robot fighter since Sergeant Faeces Processor.
Billionairebot,You'll be the most unpopular robot fighter since Sergeant Faeces Processor.,Bender,Well what if I don't let the new guy win?
Bender,Well what if I don't let the new guy win?,Doubledeal,"Melissa, send in the new kid."
Doubledeal,"Melissa, send in the new kid.",Destructor,I am Destructor!
Destructor,I am Destructor!,Bender,See you at the fight.
Bender,See you at the fight.,Bender,"So then I said, See you at the fight. And that's the story."
Bender,"So then I said, See you at the fight. And that's the story.",Fry,"Man, I thought Ultimate Robot Fighting was real, like pro wrestling. But it turns out it's fixed, like boxing."
Fry,"Man, I thought Ultimate Robot Fighting was real, like pro wrestling. But it turns out it's fixed, like boxing.",Bender,"It's one thing to win a fixed fight; there's dignity in that. But to lose? And in this atrocity? I can't do it! Leela, you gotta train me to win."
Bender,"It's one thing to win a fixed fight; there's dignity in that. But to lose? And in this atrocity? I can't do it! Leela, you gotta train me to win.",Leela,"No way! If you wouldn't take my help when you didn't need it, why should I give it to you now when you do need it?"
Leela,"No way! If you wouldn't take my help when you didn't need it, why should I give it to you now when you do need it?",Farnsworth,What the hell are you talking about?
Farnsworth,What the hell are you talking about?,Leela,I don't know. But I'm not helping.
Leela,I don't know. But I'm not helping.,Announcer,You loved him as Bender the Offender! Now get ready to hate him as he threatens your sexuality in his new persona ... The Gender Bender!
Announcer,You loved him as Bender the Offender! Now get ready to hate him as he threatens your sexuality in his new persona ... The Gender Bender!,Bender,I'm a real toughie!
Bender,I'm a real toughie!,Announcer,Squaring off this Sunday versus Destructor!
Announcer,Squaring off this Sunday versus Destructor!,Destructor,And stop calling me!
Destructor,And stop calling me!,Fnog,"I am Destructor's trainer, Master Fnog. My pupil will be victorious for he has the will of a warrior!"
Fnog,"I am Destructor's trainer, Master Fnog. My pupil will be victorious for he has the will of a warrior!",Leela,"Not Fnog! Bender, let's hit the gym. I'm gonna teach you to fight like a girl!"
Leela,"Not Fnog! Bender, let's hit the gym. I'm gonna teach you to fight like a girl!",Bender,I'll put on my tutu!
Bender,I'll put on my tutu!,Cosell,"This is Rich Little, imitating Howard Cosell, here at ringside with George Foreman. George, a word in edgewise?"
Cosell,"This is Rich Little, imitating Howard Cosell, here at ringside with George Foreman. George, a word in edgewise?",Foreman,This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an 80-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. M-My memory's not what it used to be but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.
Foreman,This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an 80-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. M-My memory's not what it used to be but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.,Little,"Interesting, if true. The Vegas odds tonight stand at an unprecedented 1000-0; a bet of $0 on Bender pays $1000 if he wins. Still, very few takers."
Little,"Interesting, if true. The Vegas odds tonight stand at an unprecedented 1000-0; a bet of $0 on Bender pays $1000 if he wins. Still, very few takers.",Foreman,It's not-not a smart bet.
Foreman,It's not-not a smart bet.,Leela,"According to the script, you're supposed to prance out and tickle him with your fairy wand. Instead, I want you to prance out and kick his head off!"
Leela,"According to the script, you're supposed to prance out and tickle him with your fairy wand. Instead, I want you to prance out and kick his head off!",Bender,"Got it. Large kickle, hold the tickle!"
Bender,"Got it. Large kickle, hold the tickle!",Hermes,Thank God I'm free of that nightmare!
Hermes,Thank God I'm free of that nightmare!,Bender,"Sorry, buddy. Here you go!"
Bender,"Sorry, buddy. Here you go!",Hermes,Thank you. It was cold down there on the floor.
Hermes,Thank you. It was cold down there on the floor.,Amy,"Here, Professor, I got you a programme."
Amy,"Here, Professor, I got you a programme.",Farnsworth,"Why, Zoidberg, there's a lovely photo of you in here."
Farnsworth,"Why, Zoidberg, there's a lovely photo of you in here.",Referee,"In this corner, the confused young robot with the golden curls. Weighing 525lbs: The Gender Bender!"
Referee,"In this corner, the confused young robot with the golden curls. Weighing 525lbs: The Gender Bender!",Zapp,Boo!
Zapp,Boo!,Nixon,Get that hippie out of the ring!
Nixon,Get that hippie out of the ring!,Referee,"And in these two corners, weighing 400 tons, the gizmo from Pismo ... Beach, Destructor!"
Referee,"And in these two corners, weighing 400 tons, the gizmo from Pismo ... Beach, Destructor!",Fnog,"So, we meet again. Most amusing: Girl who acts like fighter training fighter who acts like girl."
Fnog,"So, we meet again. Most amusing: Girl who acts like fighter training fighter who acts like girl.",Leela,"Ready, Bender?"
Leela,"Ready, Bender?",Bender,Now boarding standby passengers--
Bender,Now boarding standby passengers--,Foreman,"With its patented design, the fat drains directly into my mouth."
Foreman,"With its patented design, the fat drains directly into my mouth.",Bender,"For God's sakes, Fry!"
Bender,"For God's sakes, Fry!",Hermes,That's exactly what I was thinking.
Hermes,That's exactly what I was thinking.,Bender,Mommy!
Bender,Mommy!,Leela,Hmm.
Leela,Hmm.,Bender,Why won't anyone help me?
Bender,Why won't anyone help me?,Leela,"So, once more we meet again."
Leela,"So, once more we meet again.",Fnog,Huh?
Fnog,Huh?,Leela,"You didn't train Destructor. You're just controlling him like a puppet. I mean, cheating in a fake fight. That's low!"
Leela,"You didn't train Destructor. You're just controlling him like a puppet. I mean, cheating in a fake fight. That's low!",Fnog,Better than being a girl. Like you. You're a girl!
Fnog,Better than being a girl. Like you. You're a girl!,Leela,"Oh, right. Girls lack the will of the warrior!"
Leela,"Oh, right. Girls lack the will of the warrior!",Bender,Take this. And this!
Bender,Take this. And this!,Fnog,Too bad I was a lousy teacher!
Fnog,Too bad I was a lousy teacher!,Bender,I think you misunderstood the concept of bendering time!
Bender,I think you misunderstood the concept of bendering time!,Fnog,See you in girl hell. I'll be in boy hell -- much nicer!
Fnog,See you in girl hell. I'll be in boy hell -- much nicer!,Leela,Yes!
Leela,Yes!,Bender,Oh!
Bender,Oh!,Referee,And the winner is Destructor!
Referee,And the winner is Destructor!,Little,I've not seen a spectacle of this nature in all my years impersonating a sportscaster.
Little,I've not seen a spectacle of this nature in all my years impersonating a sportscaster.,Foreman,"It sure was some fight. Interesting side note: As a head without a body, I envy the dead."
Foreman,"It sure was some fight. Interesting side note: As a head without a body, I envy the dead.",Little,No argument here.
Little,No argument here.,Fry,Bender? How did the fight go? I heard somebody got flattened!
Fry,Bender? How did the fight go? I heard somebody got flattened!,Amy,"Fry, where's your Brain Slug?"
Amy,"Fry, where's your Brain Slug?",Farnsworth,Poor little guy starved to death.
Farnsworth,Poor little guy starved to death.,Leela,"I'm proud of you, Bender. Sure, you lost. You lost bad. But the important thing is I beat up someone who hurt my feelings in high school."
Leela,"I'm proud of you, Bender. Sure, you lost. You lost bad. But the important thing is I beat up someone who hurt my feelings in high school.",Bender,I'm in tremendous pain here.
Bender,I'm in tremendous pain here.,Doubledeal,"Great job, kid. You lost and you made it look almost half real. I want you to have this card good for 10% off at Bed Bath & Beyond."
Doubledeal,"Great job, kid. You lost and you made it look almost half real. I want you to have this card good for 10% off at Bed Bath & Beyond.",Bender,Yes! I'm the greatest! The greatest!
Bender,Yes! I'm the greatest! The greatest!,Little,And so ends the chronicle of one of the greatest ever to play the sport.
Little,And so ends the chronicle of one of the greatest ever to play the sport.,Foreman,And he didn't look half bad in the tutu.
Foreman,And he didn't look half bad in the tutu.,Little,That he did surely not.
Little,That he did surely not.,Foreman,What?
Foreman,What?,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! Several years ago I tried to log on to AOL, and it just went through. Whee! We're online!"
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! Several years ago I tried to log on to AOL, and it just went through. Whee! We're online!",Farnsworth,"Go ahead, get into these net suits. I designed and tested them myself."
Farnsworth,"Go ahead, get into these net suits. I designed and tested them myself.",Farnsworth,Really? I guess when you're around it all day you stop noticing. Off you go.
Farnsworth,Really? I guess when you're around it all day you stop noticing. Off you go.,Fry,Hey!
Fry,Hey!,Bender,Behold: The Internet!
Bender,Behold: The Internet!,Fry,My God! It's full of ads!
Fry,My God! It's full of ads!,Leela,Follow me!
Leela,Follow me!,Fry,It's immense.
Fry,It's immense.,Leela,It's got every piece of information anyone could ever want.
Leela,It's got every piece of information anyone could ever want.,Fry,So I see!
Fry,So I see!,Zoidberg,What? What's going on here?
Zoidberg,What? What's going on here?,Amy,"Hey, that's me!"
Amy,"Hey, that's me!",Bender,"No, it isn't. I just took some pictures of your face and stuck them on someone else's body."
Bender,"No, it isn't. I just took some pictures of your face and stuck them on someone else's body.",Leela,Hey!
Leela,Hey!,Doorman,Are you over 18?
Doorman,Are you over 18?,Young,Boy: Yes.
Young,Boy: Yes.,Younger,Boy: Yes.
Younger,Boy: Yes.,Bender.,And here it is.
Bender.,And here it is.,Amy,"Ew, that is so gross!"
Amy,"Ew, that is so gross!",Leela,"Yeah. I'll stick with this one, thank you."
Leela,"Yeah. I'll stick with this one, thank you.",Amy,Yeah.
Amy,Yeah.,Bender,"Hi, I'm a naughty nurse and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute."
Bender,"Hi, I'm a naughty nurse and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute.",Man,"Ooh, you're a dollar naughtier than most."
Man,"Ooh, you're a dollar naughtier than most.",Bender,So how 'bout them Knicks?
Bender,So how 'bout them Knicks?,Nerd,#1: Hello? Are there any girls in this room at all?
Nerd,#1: Hello? Are there any girls in this room at all?,Nerd,"#2: Yeah, bring on the hot chicks 'cause I'm a hot stud."
Nerd,"#2: Yeah, bring on the hot chicks 'cause I'm a hot stud.",Nerd,#3: Yeah! So are we!
Nerd,#3: Yeah! So are we!,Leela,"I don't like to play games, so I'll just say I'm a cyclops, I'm a spaceship captain, I'm the only one of my species and I'm interested in meeting a man."
Leela,"I don't like to play games, so I'll just say I'm a cyclops, I'm a spaceship captain, I'm the only one of my species and I'm interested in meeting a man.",Nerd,#4: A woman! I'm scared.
Nerd,#4: A woman! I'm scared.,Fry,"Well, thanks to the Internet, I'm bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence?"
Fry,"Well, thanks to the Internet, I'm bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence?",Bender,reptilian?
Bender,reptilian?,Hermes,"Get ready for fun, Fry. Nowadays, we have a type of game played entirely on video."
Hermes,"Get ready for fun, Fry. Nowadays, we have a type of game played entirely on video.",Leela,We call it a video game.
Leela,We call it a video game.,Fry,"Uh, video game you say? Well, golly gee, you mighty spacemen of the future will have to show me how it works."
Fry,"Uh, video game you say? Well, golly gee, you mighty spacemen of the future will have to show me how it works.",Zoidberg,The doctor is out!
Zoidberg,The doctor is out!,Holo-Farnsworth,"Leela, please tell the others that--"
Holo-Farnsworth,"Leela, please tell the others that--",Leela,Who are you?
Leela,Who are you?,Cyclops,I saw you in the chat room but you left before I had a chance to talk to you. After all these years of searching for another Cyclops.
Cyclops,I saw you in the chat room but you left before I had a chance to talk to you. After all these years of searching for another Cyclops.,Leela,I can't believe it. I've dreamed of this moment all my life.
Leela,I can't believe it. I've dreamed of this moment all my life.,Cyclops,Do you think perhaps you and I--
Cyclops,Do you think perhaps you and I--,Leela,him. You wrecked my one chance to learn who I am!
Leela,him. You wrecked my one chance to learn who I am!,Fry,I won! I'm the greatest!
Fry,I won! I'm the greatest!,Leela,Come on. We have work to do.
Leela,Come on. We have work to do.,Fry,mad at me for wrecking your once-in-a-lifetime chance to learn the meaning of your existence?
Fry,mad at me for wrecking your once-in-a-lifetime chance to learn the meaning of your existence?,Leela,"No, I'm just happy you were able to win a video game. Now let's concentrate on getting this desperately-needed popcorn to the people of Cineplex 14, OK?"
Leela,"No, I'm just happy you were able to win a video game. Now let's concentrate on getting this desperately-needed popcorn to the people of Cineplex 14, OK?",Operator,It's not spam.
Operator,It's not spam.,Leela,It's him!
Leela,It's him!,Cyclops,To Leela. Subject: Hello. I am Alcazar. Fortunately I wrote down your screenname before I was dispatched by that oafish moron.
Cyclops,To Leela. Subject: Hello. I am Alcazar. Fortunately I wrote down your screenname before I was dispatched by that oafish moron.,Fry,Kicked your ass!
Fry,Kicked your ass!,Alcazar,"Leela, we have much to discuss. Please come join me on the planet of your birth. Co-ordinates follow."
Alcazar,"Leela, we have much to discuss. Please come join me on the planet of your birth. Co-ordinates follow.",Fry,"Well, too bad we gotta make that urgent popcorn delivery."
Fry,"Well, too bad we gotta make that urgent popcorn delivery.",Leela,It'll get there.
Leela,It'll get there.,Leela,"After a whole life of searching, I may finally have found where I belong."
Leela,"After a whole life of searching, I may finally have found where I belong.",Bender,Too bad it's a dump.
Bender,Too bad it's a dump.,Leela,Look at that statue. It's only got one eye.
Leela,Look at that statue. It's only got one eye.,Fry,Lazy sculptor!
Fry,Lazy sculptor!,Alcazar,"Welcome home, Leela."
Alcazar,"Welcome home, Leela.",Leela,Are you real? Or am I seeing single?
Leela,Are you real? Or am I seeing single?,Alcazar,Ow! Of course I'm real.
Alcazar,Ow! Of course I'm real.,Leela,"After all this time, somebody else with one eye who isn't a clumsy carpenter or, uh, a kid with a BB gun."
Leela,"After all this time, somebody else with one eye who isn't a clumsy carpenter or, uh, a kid with a BB gun.",Alcazar,"Come, let me introduce you to yourself. Do you mind if your servants walk?"
Alcazar,"Come, let me introduce you to yourself. Do you mind if your servants walk?",Leela,Not at all!
Leela,Not at all!,Alcazar,"We are the last remaining Cyclopses. Our planet is Cyclopia. This is the capital, Cyclops City. Stop me if I'm going too fast for you."
Alcazar,"We are the last remaining Cyclopses. Our planet is Cyclopia. This is the capital, Cyclops City. Stop me if I'm going too fast for you.",Leela,There's so much information and yet somehow I feel as if I know it all already.
Leela,There's so much information and yet somehow I feel as if I know it all already.,Alcazar,This sacred mosaic depicts our goddess of beauty.
Alcazar,This sacred mosaic depicts our goddess of beauty.,Fry,"Hmm, you got any sacred artwork of her from the back?"
Fry,"Hmm, you got any sacred artwork of her from the back?",Alcazar,"Her perfect eye reminds me of yours, Leela. Had our race survived, you would have been a temple priestess or a supermodel."
Alcazar,"Her perfect eye reminds me of yours, Leela. Had our race survived, you would have been a temple priestess or a supermodel.",Leela,"Oh, please! Really?"
Leela,"Oh, please! Really?",Alcazar,"And there's the infamous pirate, Purple Beard, scourge of the six seas."
Alcazar,"And there's the infamous pirate, Purple Beard, scourge of the six seas.",Fry,What's over that hill?
Fry,What's over that hill?,Alcazar,The Forbidden Valley. A holy sanctuary where no one may tread.
Alcazar,The Forbidden Valley. A holy sanctuary where no one may tread.,Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Leela,Isn't it?
Leela,Isn't it?,Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Alcazar,This is my home. I hope you don't think less of me because I live in a giant castle.
Alcazar,This is my home. I hope you don't think less of me because I live in a giant castle.,Leela,"Oh, no, not at all. If anything, I'm more impressed."
Leela,"Oh, no, not at all. If anything, I'm more impressed.",Bender,Ooh! I'm gonna need to make some room.
Bender,Ooh! I'm gonna need to make some room.,Alcazar,In here is where I dream my lonely dreams and cook my simple meals.
Alcazar,In here is where I dream my lonely dreams and cook my simple meals.,Leela,It's all so sad. What happened to our people?
Leela,It's all so sad. What happened to our people?,Alcazar,"It's too painful to speak of now. Come, I'll show you your quarters."
Alcazar,"It's too painful to speak of now. Come, I'll show you your quarters.",Bender,Ow! Ow! Ow!
Bender,Ow! Ow! Ow!,Leela,I heard you from my room. What's wrong?
Leela,I heard you from my room. What's wrong?,Alcazar,"Nothing. It's just-- No, Leela. I don't want to see tears in your perfect eye."
Alcazar,"Nothing. It's just-- No, Leela. I don't want to see tears in your perfect eye.",Leela,"Please, is it about the fate of our people? Because I'm very interested in that."
Leela,"Please, is it about the fate of our people? Because I'm very interested in that.",Alcazar,"Well, OK. But it's chilly and you're going to be all wet from the tears. Let's go into my chamber."
Alcazar,"Well, OK. But it's chilly and you're going to be all wet from the tears. Let's go into my chamber.",Alcazar,"Unfortunately, one of the 40 planets hit, was ours."
Alcazar,"Unfortunately, one of the 40 planets hit, was ours.",Cyclopian,Man #1: How far away do you think it is?
Cyclopian,Man #1: How far away do you think it is?,Cyclopian,Man #2: A trillion miles?
Cyclopian,Man #2: A trillion miles?,Alcazar,"Our people don't like to be hot. Anyway, just before the impact..."
Alcazar,"Our people don't like to be hot. Anyway, just before the impact...",Alcazar,Our smartest scientists managed to save one baby.
Alcazar,Our smartest scientists managed to save one baby.,Leela,"Alcazar, I used to be a baby, it might have been me!"
Leela,"Alcazar, I used to be a baby, it might have been me!",Alcazar,"Fortunately, I was employed as a pool cleaner at the time and, when I emerged from retrieving a dead possum, I found I was the only one left."
Alcazar,"Fortunately, I was employed as a pool cleaner at the time and, when I emerged from retrieving a dead possum, I found I was the only one left.",Leela,It's so tragic.
Leela,It's so tragic.,Alcazar,"Yes, but the real tragedy is that our race ends with us."
Alcazar,"Yes, but the real tragedy is that our race ends with us.",Leela,It doesn't have to.
Leela,It doesn't have to.,Alcazar,What do you mean?
Alcazar,What do you mean?,Leela,You're a male and I'm a female.
Leela,You're a male and I'm a female.,Alcazar,I'm still not following you.
Alcazar,I'm still not following you.,Leela,"Wake up, my king."
Leela,"Wake up, my king.",Alcazar,"Oh, jeez, what a night. Make me some coffee, would you."
Alcazar,"Oh, jeez, what a night. Make me some coffee, would you.",Leela,"Uh, sure, OK. What do you take with that?"
Leela,"Uh, sure, OK. What do you take with that?",Alcazar,"Pancakes and sausage. Kitchen's in the basement, pans are in the attic."
Alcazar,"Pancakes and sausage. Kitchen's in the basement, pans are in the attic.",Leela,Maybe after breakfast we can talk about rebuilding our civilisation.
Leela,Maybe after breakfast we can talk about rebuilding our civilisation.,Fry,"Mmm! Great pancakes, Leela."
Fry,"Mmm! Great pancakes, Leela.",Alcazar,"Listen, hon', we don't want to look like slobs in front of the other species, do we?"
Alcazar,"Listen, hon', we don't want to look like slobs in front of the other species, do we?",Leela,No.
Leela,No.,Alcazar,So get to work on these dishes. And then organise my collection of naked celebrity photos by name and what you can see.
Alcazar,So get to work on these dishes. And then organise my collection of naked celebrity photos by name and what you can see.,Leela,"Look, Alcazar--"
Leela,"Look, Alcazar--",Alcazar,Call me Al.
Alcazar,Call me Al.,Leela.,"I know you've been living alone a long time and I can sympathise, but I'm not your maid."
Leela.,"I know you've been living alone a long time and I can sympathise, but I'm not your maid.",Alcazar,"You're right, I'm sorry. I guess the relationship isn't going to work. So much for the Cyclops race. I thought it was a pretty good race but, uh--"
Alcazar,"You're right, I'm sorry. I guess the relationship isn't going to work. So much for the Cyclops race. I thought it was a pretty good race but, uh--",Leela,"Hey, where'd they go?"
Leela,"Hey, where'd they go?",Bender,"Ah, Leela's experiencing the greatest joy a woman can feel: Worshipping some low-life jerk."
Bender,"Ah, Leela's experiencing the greatest joy a woman can feel: Worshipping some low-life jerk.",Fry,He may be some low-life jerk but I don't trust him. I think he's hiding something and I'm gonna find out what it is.
Fry,He may be some low-life jerk but I don't trust him. I think he's hiding something and I'm gonna find out what it is.,Fry,Try and stop me!
Fry,Try and stop me!,Leela,Who are these people?
Leela,Who are these people?,Alcazar,Friends.
Alcazar,Friends.,Leela,"Hey, where'd you get this couch and that TV set and all this stuff?"
Leela,"Hey, where'd you get this couch and that TV set and all this stuff?",Alcazar,"They were giving it away on the street corner. Just like you, Leela!"
Alcazar,"They were giving it away on the street corner. Just like you, Leela!",Leela,"Too bad they weren't giving away the three things you actually need: Mouthwash, a back wax and stain-proof underwear."
Leela,"Too bad they weren't giving away the three things you actually need: Mouthwash, a back wax and stain-proof underwear.",Rat,"Woman: You go, girl!"
Rat,"Woman: You go, girl!",Alcazar,"By the way, your pal Fry fell into the dungeon. Take him a taco so he doesn't die and stink up the place."
Alcazar,"By the way, your pal Fry fell into the dungeon. Take him a taco so he doesn't die and stink up the place.",Leela,"Come on, Al, can't you let the little guy out?"
Leela,"Come on, Al, can't you let the little guy out?",Alcazar,"Jeez, Leela, twice in one day? I'm not Superman!"
Alcazar,"Jeez, Leela, twice in one day? I'm not Superman!",Leela,Why were you sneaking into my people's forbidden valley?
Leela,Why were you sneaking into my people's forbidden valley?,Fry,"'Cause I think Alcazar's hiding something from you. Listen, Leela, you may not like it, you may not believe it, you may not wanna hear it but Alcazar's a jerk. He's bad for you. He--"
Fry,"'Cause I think Alcazar's hiding something from you. Listen, Leela, you may not like it, you may not believe it, you may not wanna hear it but Alcazar's a jerk. He's bad for you. He--",Leela,I know.
Leela,I know.,Fry,You do?
Fry,You do?,Leela,"Fry, if it's obvious to you with your learning disability then of course it's obvious to me. He's crude and gross and he treats me like a slave."
Leela,"Fry, if it's obvious to you with your learning disability then of course it's obvious to me. He's crude and gross and he treats me like a slave.",Fry,Then dump his one-eyed ass.
Fry,Then dump his one-eyed ass.,Leela,"I can't. If I leave Alcazar, that's the end of the Cyclops race. And I won't let that happen. Even if it means a lifetime of unhappiness."
Leela,"I can't. If I leave Alcazar, that's the end of the Cyclops race. And I won't let that happen. Even if it means a lifetime of unhappiness.",Alcazar,Leela! Mop up in aisle number two!
Alcazar,Leela! Mop up in aisle number two!,Leela,I'll break up with him at dinner.
Leela,I'll break up with him at dinner.,Fry,I'll be there.
Fry,I'll be there.,Alcazar,"Yo, Leela, what gives? Pig says your slop tastes like crap."
Alcazar,"Yo, Leela, what gives? Pig says your slop tastes like crap.",Pig,Yeah. Like crap.
Pig,Yeah. Like crap.,Fry,"C'mon, Leela, you deserve better than this guy. Dump him already!"
Fry,"C'mon, Leela, you deserve better than this guy. Dump him already!",Leela,I'm trying.
Leela,I'm trying.,Alcazar,"Leela, will you marry me?"
Alcazar,"Leela, will you marry me?",Fry,No! No!
Fry,No! No!,Leela,Yes! I will!
Leela,Yes! I will!,Rat,Woman getting married!
Rat,Woman getting married!,Amy,"Congratulations, Leela!"
Amy,"Congratulations, Leela!",Zoidberg,Hello.
Zoidberg,Hello.,Hermes,"Oh, this is great!"
Hermes,"Oh, this is great!",Leela,Glad you could make it.
Leela,Glad you could make it.,Bender,It's a magical day.
Bender,It's a magical day.,Fry,Welcome!
Fry,Welcome!,Fry,"Psst, Leela. You've gotta get me out of here. It's horrible! Eating scraps, letting my waste drop wherever it falls like an animal in the zoo."
Fry,"Psst, Leela. You've gotta get me out of here. It's horrible! Eating scraps, letting my waste drop wherever it falls like an animal in the zoo.",Leela,Animals go in the corner.
Leela,Animals go in the corner.,Fry,The corner! Why didn't I think of that?
Fry,The corner! Why didn't I think of that?,Leela,Here. Try to be happy for me. That way at least one of us will be.
Leela,Here. Try to be happy for me. That way at least one of us will be.,Fry,That's it! It's time for this bird to walk.
Fry,That's it! It's time for this bird to walk.,Fry,"Bender, come on. We've gotta get some dirt on Alcazar. Let's go and find out what makes the Forbidden Valley so forbidden."
Fry,"Bender, come on. We've gotta get some dirt on Alcazar. Let's go and find out what makes the Forbidden Valley so forbidden.",Bender,"Uh, no, thanks. I'm good."
Bender,"Uh, no, thanks. I'm good.",Fry,But there's probably some cool forbidden stuff you can steal.
Fry,But there's probably some cool forbidden stuff you can steal.,Bender,"I don't know, Fry. For the first time in my life I feel like I've stolen enough."
Bender,"I don't know, Fry. For the first time in my life I feel like I've stolen enough.",Fry,"Bender, snap out of it!"
Fry,"Bender, snap out of it!",Bender,"I love stealing, I love taking things!"
Bender,"I love stealing, I love taking things!",Zoidberg,That pig over there is wearing the same sandals as me.
Zoidberg,That pig over there is wearing the same sandals as me.,Fry,Good boy!
Fry,Good boy!,Bender,"Whoa, Mittens!"
Bender,"Whoa, Mittens!",Fry,My God! Four identical castles!
Fry,My God! Four identical castles!,Bender,Each more identical than the last!
Bender,Each more identical than the last!,Fry,"That's weird. It's another Cyclops, only this one has five eyes."
Fry,"That's weird. It's another Cyclops, only this one has five eyes.",Bender,And here's another one with no eyes.
Bender,And here's another one with no eyes.,Preacherbot,Does anyone have a reason why this couple shall not be joined in the irrevocable shackles of holy bliss?
Preacherbot,Does anyone have a reason why this couple shall not be joined in the irrevocable shackles of holy bliss?,Farnsworth,Saving a race of one-eyed monsters? Who could object to that?
Farnsworth,Saving a race of one-eyed monsters? Who could object to that?,Alcazar,"Cut to the chase, Preach!"
Alcazar,"Cut to the chase, Preach!",Preacherbot,take this woman before you ... to love ... in sickness ... do you part?
Preacherbot,take this woman before you ... to love ... in sickness ... do you part?,Alcazar,"Yeah, sure I do. Come on, faster!"
Alcazar,"Yeah, sure I do. Come on, faster!",Preacherbot,"Do you, Leela, copy and paste his response till death do you part?"
Preacherbot,"Do you, Leela, copy and paste his response till death do you part?",Leela,I ... d--
Leela,I ... d--,Amy,"Oh, my God!"
Amy,"Oh, my God!",Alcazar,What the--?
Alcazar,What the--?,Fry,"Hey, Alcazar, you left somebody off the guest list."
Fry,"Hey, Alcazar, you left somebody off the guest list.",Five-Eyed,"Woman: Alcazar, why you are so late for our wedding? And why you have only one eye?"
Five-Eyed,"Woman: Alcazar, why you are so late for our wedding? And why you have only one eye?",Alcazar,going to marry you.
Alcazar,going to marry you.,Fry,"Oh, yeah? Then what about this?"
Fry,"Oh, yeah? Then what about this?",Alcazar,This is a bit awkward.
Alcazar,This is a bit awkward.,Five-Eyed,Woman: Who's she?
Five-Eyed,Woman: Who's she?,Leela,Who's she?
Leela,Who's she?,Alcazar,"Go back to the castle, Sandy."
Alcazar,"Go back to the castle, Sandy.",Fry,And her.
Fry,And her.,Alcazar,"Leela, this must all be very confusing."
Alcazar,"Leela, this must all be very confusing.",Leela,A little. That's why I've decided to hurt you until you explain it.
Leela,A little. That's why I've decided to hurt you until you explain it.,Sandy,form!
Sandy,form!,Leela,Yeah!
Leela,Yeah!,Alien,#2: Do it!
Alien,#2: Do it!,Alcazar,"Well, this is the real me. But I can explain: We all have needs. Mine was to make it with five weirdos and have them scrub my five castles. I gave you all what you wanted and of course I made a few bucks letting Pig watch through the two-way mirror. Can any of you say you wouldn't have done the exact same thing in my position?"
Alcazar,"Well, this is the real me. But I can explain: We all have needs. Mine was to make it with five weirdos and have them scrub my five castles. I gave you all what you wanted and of course I made a few bucks letting Pig watch through the two-way mirror. Can any of you say you wouldn't have done the exact same thing in my position?",Bender,He's a saint!
Bender,He's a saint!,Leela,But why did you have all five weddings on the same day?
Leela,But why did you have all five weddings on the same day?,Alcazar,"Hey, lady, you got any idea what it costs to rent a tux that changes shape?"
Alcazar,"Hey, lady, you got any idea what it costs to rent a tux that changes shape?",Leela,"Alright, Alcazar, I just have one last question for you."
Leela,"Alright, Alcazar, I just have one last question for you.",Alcazar,What's that?
Alcazar,What's that?,Leela,"If you can change form, why didn't you change it in the one place that counts?"
Leela,"If you can change form, why didn't you change it in the one place that counts?",Leela,"Thanks for saving me from that creep, Fry."
Leela,"Thanks for saving me from that creep, Fry.",Fry,"Hey, that's what I do."
Fry,"Hey, that's what I do.",Leela,"I guess I was so desperate to find out who I really was, I forgot who I really was."
Leela,"I guess I was so desperate to find out who I really was, I forgot who I really was.",Farnsworth,"No harm done. In the many decades you'll work to repay me for that shipment of popcorn you destroyed, you'll have plenty of time to search for your true home."
Farnsworth,"No harm done. In the many decades you'll work to repay me for that shipment of popcorn you destroyed, you'll have plenty of time to search for your true home.",Leela,"Yeah. I mean, how many planets can there be?"
Leela,"Yeah. I mean, how many planets can there be?",Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! The university is bringing me up on disciplinary charges. Wait, that's not good news at all."
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! The university is bringing me up on disciplinary charges. Wait, that's not good news at all.",Leela,"Whatever you did, Professor, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation."
Leela,"Whatever you did, Professor, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.",Farnsworth,"Yes, but they won't listen. Everyone's always in favour of saving Hitler's brain but when you put it in the body of a great white shark, ooh, suddenly you've gone too far."
Farnsworth,"Yes, but they won't listen. Everyone's always in favour of saving Hitler's brain but when you put it in the body of a great white shark, ooh, suddenly you've gone too far.",Vernon,we've called you here today?
Vernon,we've called you here today?,Vernon,Surprise!
Vernon,Surprise!,Man,#1: Surprise!
Man,#1: Surprise!,Man,#2: Happy birthday!
Man,#2: Happy birthday!,Hermes,Surprise!
Hermes,Surprise!,Leela,"No, Professor! It's a surprise party for your 150th birthday."
Leela,"No, Professor! It's a surprise party for your 150th birthday.",Farnsworth,Ooh!
Farnsworth,Ooh!,Bender,"Whoa, sorry. I'm Bender and I'll be emceeing this roast. Y'know, they say you can judge a man by the company he keeps. So here's the Professor's oldest friend, a grotesque, stinking lobster."
Bender,"Whoa, sorry. I'm Bender and I'll be emceeing this roast. Y'know, they say you can judge a man by the company he keeps. So here's the Professor's oldest friend, a grotesque, stinking lobster.",Zoidberg,all over again.
Zoidberg,all over again.,Bender,"But seriously, of all the former crew members of the Professor's delivery ship, our next speaker is by far the most alive. Captain Musky?"
Bender,"But seriously, of all the former crew members of the Professor's delivery ship, our next speaker is by far the most alive. Captain Musky?",Zoidberg,I wouldn't wanna follow that guy!
Zoidberg,I wouldn't wanna follow that guy!,Bender,"Fry, get up there!"
Bender,"Fry, get up there!",Fry,Roll film!
Fry,Roll film!,Leela,And before long he blossomed into a greasy teenager.
Leela,And before long he blossomed into a greasy teenager.,Fry,Dork alert!
Fry,Dork alert!,Leela,"And even as he nears his 150th birthday, the Professor retains the fiery passion of youth."
Leela,"And even as he nears his 150th birthday, the Professor retains the fiery passion of youth.",Farnsworth,"Listen, you pompous frauds. If I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me."
Farnsworth,"Listen, you pompous frauds. If I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me.",Bender,"How 'bout a few words, Professor?"
Bender,"How 'bout a few words, Professor?",Farnsworth,"Eh, wha?"
Farnsworth,"Eh, wha?",Bender,I said words.
Bender,I said words.,Farnsworth,"Uh, what a pleasure it is to see my lifetime of accomplishment summed up in a 3-minute film. My best years are behind me. So much left undone. So little time."
Farnsworth,"Uh, what a pleasure it is to see my lifetime of accomplishment summed up in a 3-minute film. My best years are behind me. So much left undone. So little time.",Bender,"Funny, funny stuff."
Bender,"Funny, funny stuff.",Farnsworth,My life is over.
Farnsworth,My life is over.,Leela,"No, it isn't. You have another 10 years left."
Leela,"No, it isn't. You have another 10 years left.",Fry,years!
Fry,years!,Leela,"No, he couldn't. When you turn 160, robots from the Sunset Squad take you to a mysterious planet and you never return."
Leela,"No, he couldn't. When you turn 160, robots from the Sunset Squad take you to a mysterious planet and you never return.",Fry,"Wow, a whole planet of old people. Where is it?"
Fry,"Wow, a whole planet of old people. Where is it?",Bender,Nobody knows!
Bender,Nobody knows!,Farnsworth,"So many loves half-loved, so many inventions half-invented. That damn time machine alone set me back 15 years."
Farnsworth,"So many loves half-loved, so many inventions half-invented. That damn time machine alone set me back 15 years.",Zoidberg,"If only it'd worked, you could go back and not waste your time on it."
Zoidberg,"If only it'd worked, you could go back and not waste your time on it.",Farnsworth,"By God, that's it! I've got to name a successor."
Farnsworth,"By God, that's it! I've got to name a successor.",Fry,A successor?
Fry,A successor?,Zoidberg,A successor to the Professor?
Zoidberg,A successor to the Professor?,Farnsworth,There's no time to lose. I'm off to my lab to build a successor-naming machine!
Farnsworth,There's no time to lose. I'm off to my lab to build a successor-naming machine!,Fry,"Man, the Professor's been in his lab for days."
Fry,"Man, the Professor's been in his lab for days.",Bender,I hope he didn't die. Unless he left a note naming me his successor. Then I hope he did die.
Bender,I hope he didn't die. Unless he left a note naming me his successor. Then I hope he did die.,Zoidberg,You? The successor? Over my empty shell! The Professor will pick me. Only I have his lobster-like tenacity.
Zoidberg,You? The successor? Over my empty shell! The Professor will pick me. Only I have his lobster-like tenacity.,Hermes,"Up yours, Zoidberg. Up wherever your species traditionally crams things. The only sensible way to choose a successor is with a limbo contest."
Hermes,"Up yours, Zoidberg. Up wherever your species traditionally crams things. The only sensible way to choose a successor is with a limbo contest.",Leela,What?
Leela,What?,Hermes,"Kingston rules. Two men go down, one come up."
Hermes,"Kingston rules. Two men go down, one come up.",Leela,"Look, the Professor trusts me with a giant spaceship. He wouldn't trust the rest of you with his dentures."
Leela,"Look, the Professor trusts me with a giant spaceship. He wouldn't trust the rest of you with his dentures.",Amy,"Yesh, he would."
Amy,"Yesh, he would.",Fry,"Sorry, everyone, but need I remind you? Blood is thicker than water."
Fry,"Sorry, everyone, but need I remind you? Blood is thicker than water.",Zoidberg,... water.
Zoidberg,... water.,Farnsworth,"Everyone, I have a very dramatic announcement. So anyone with a weak heart should leave now. Goodbye."
Farnsworth,"Everyone, I have a very dramatic announcement. So anyone with a weak heart should leave now. Goodbye.",Leela,"Uh, Professor?"
Leela,"Uh, Professor?",Farnsworth,"Oh, oh, yes, the announcement! As you all know, I am not long for this world."
Farnsworth,"Oh, oh, yes, the announcement! As you all know, I am not long for this world.",Leela,"Yes, we know."
Leela,"Yes, we know.",Hermes,"True, mon."
Hermes,"True, mon.",Amy,Buh!
Amy,Buh!,Fry,One foot in the grave.
Fry,One foot in the grave.,Farnsworth,My closest living relative.
Farnsworth,My closest living relative.,Fry,"Oh, yeah!"
Fry,"Oh, yeah!",Farnsworth,"My clone, Cubert Farnsworth."
Farnsworth,"My clone, Cubert Farnsworth.",Zoidberg,He's horrible!
Zoidberg,He's horrible!,Fry,Crud. Can I at least be in charge of your dentures?
Fry,Crud. Can I at least be in charge of your dentures?,Amy,You wish!
Amy,You wish!,Fry,Where did Cubert come from?
Fry,Where did Cubert come from?,Farnsworth,12 years ago I began the cloning process by removing some skin cells from one of the shapelier growths on my back.
Farnsworth,12 years ago I began the cloning process by removing some skin cells from one of the shapelier growths on my back.,Leela,"Wait. If he's your clone, why doesn't his nose look like yours?"
Leela,"Wait. If he's your clone, why doesn't his nose look like yours?",Farnsworth,I left him in his first tube too long and he got squished up against the side.
Farnsworth,I left him in his first tube too long and he got squished up against the side.,Bender,Is he dumb or just ugly?
Bender,Is he dumb or just ugly?,Farnsworth,Let's find out.
Farnsworth,Let's find out.,Cubert,What? You've never seen a genius's wiener before?
Cubert,What? You've never seen a genius's wiener before?,Zoidberg,No.
Zoidberg,No.,Leela,Never.
Leela,Never.,Fry,"Well, once in the park."
Fry,"Well, once in the park.",Zoidberg,Mmm!
Zoidberg,Mmm!,Cubert.,"Zoidberg, do you even have a medical degree?"
Cubert.,"Zoidberg, do you even have a medical degree?",Zoidberg,I lost it ... in a volcano.
Zoidberg,I lost it ... in a volcano.,Cubert,And why do we need a bending robot around here anyway? What possible use do we have for you?
Cubert,And why do we need a bending robot around here anyway? What possible use do we have for you?,Bender,Uh ... me no speaka the English.
Bender,Uh ... me no speaka the English.,Cubert,And why does our space pilot have only one eye? There's someone I'd like you to meet. His name is depth perception!
Cubert,And why does our space pilot have only one eye? There's someone I'd like you to meet. His name is depth perception!,Leela,"Why, you little--"
Leela,"Why, you little--",Cubert,"Wow, that hurt -- the air!"
Cubert,"Wow, that hurt -- the air!",Bender,bending!
Bender,bending!,Farnsworth,"Oh, Cubert, come in here. I have something amazing to show you."
Farnsworth,"Oh, Cubert, come in here. I have something amazing to show you.",Cubert,What is it? A competent employee? I doubt that very much!
Cubert,What is it? A competent employee? I doubt that very much!,Fry,Little twerp.
Fry,Little twerp.,Farnsworth,"As my successor, I'm trusting you to carry on my work. These are just some of the half-finished inventions you'll spend your life finishing."
Farnsworth,"As my successor, I'm trusting you to carry on my work. These are just some of the half-finished inventions you'll spend your life finishing.",Cubert,I didn't realise you were the inventor of the junk heap.
Cubert,I didn't realise you were the inventor of the junk heap.,Farnsworth,And this is my universal translator. Unfortunately so far it only translates into an incomprehensible dead language.
Farnsworth,And this is my universal translator. Unfortunately so far it only translates into an incomprehensible dead language.,Cubert,Hello.
Cubert,Hello.,Universal,Translator!
Universal,Translator!,Farnsworth,Crazy gibberish!
Farnsworth,Crazy gibberish!,Cubert,Don't you have any worthwhile inventions?
Cubert,Don't you have any worthwhile inventions?,Farnsworth,"Why, certainly. Step over here."
Farnsworth,"Why, certainly. Step over here.",Farnsworth,These are the dark matter engines I invented. They allow my starship to travel between galaxies in mere hours.
Farnsworth,These are the dark matter engines I invented. They allow my starship to travel between galaxies in mere hours.,Cubert,That's impossible. You can't go faster than the speed of light.
Cubert,That's impossible. You can't go faster than the speed of light.,Farnsworth,Of course not. That's why scientists increased the speed of light in 2208.
Farnsworth,Of course not. That's why scientists increased the speed of light in 2208.,Cubert,Also impossible.
Cubert,Also impossible.,Farnsworth,And what makes my engines truly remarkable is the afterburner which delivers 200% fuel efficiency.
Farnsworth,And what makes my engines truly remarkable is the afterburner which delivers 200% fuel efficiency.,Cubert,That's especially impossible.
Cubert,That's especially impossible.,Farnsworth,Not at all. It's very simple.
Farnsworth,Not at all. It's very simple.,Cubert,Then explain it.
Cubert,Then explain it.,Farnsworth,impossible. It came to me in a dream and I forgot it in another dream.
Farnsworth,impossible. It came to me in a dream and I forgot it in another dream.,Cubert,Your explanations are pure weapons-grade bolog-nium. It's all impossible.
Cubert,Your explanations are pure weapons-grade bolog-nium. It's all impossible.,Farnsworth,Nothing is impossible. Not if you can imagine it. That's what being is a scientist is all about.
Farnsworth,Nothing is impossible. Not if you can imagine it. That's what being is a scientist is all about.,Cubert,"No, that's what being a magical elf is all about."
Cubert,"No, that's what being a magical elf is all about.",Bender,"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! It's Elzar, the TV chef! Oh, kill me now, people!"
Bender,"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! It's Elzar, the TV chef! Oh, kill me now, people!",Elzar,How we doing here?
Elzar,How we doing here?,Bender,"Oh, Elzar, everything's so good!"
Bender,"Oh, Elzar, everything's so good!",Elzar,"What are you, an ass-kissing machine?"
Elzar,"What are you, an ass-kissing machine?",Bender,"Yes, sir! Good one, sir!"
Bender,"Yes, sir! Good one, sir!",Farnsworth,"Oh, it's a gem of an evening. I feel so wonderful having someone to take over my life's work. And it's all thanks to Cubert."
Farnsworth,"Oh, it's a gem of an evening. I feel so wonderful having someone to take over my life's work. And it's all thanks to Cubert.",Cubert,"Look, Professor, I may be identical to you in every possible way but that doesn't mean I'm anything like you."
Cubert,"Look, Professor, I may be identical to you in every possible way but that doesn't mean I'm anything like you.",Farnsworth,You ... wha?
Farnsworth,You ... wha?,Cubert,I don't wanna be an inventor. I wanna be something useful like a teacher's aide or a prison guard or a science-fiction cartoon writer.
Cubert,I don't wanna be an inventor. I wanna be something useful like a teacher's aide or a prison guard or a science-fiction cartoon writer.,Farnsworth,But-But what about my hopes and my dreams and my wonderful inventions?
Farnsworth,But-But what about my hopes and my dreams and my wonderful inventions?,Cubert,In your entire life your only half-decent invention was me and I didn't turn out like you wanted either.
Cubert,In your entire life your only half-decent invention was me and I didn't turn out like you wanted either.,Elzar,You folks still doing alright?
Elzar,You folks still doing alright?,Bender,"Oh, yes, Elzar."
Bender,"Oh, yes, Elzar.",Elzar,"Good, 'cause it turns out I forgot to cook that chicken."
Elzar,"Good, 'cause it turns out I forgot to cook that chicken.",Farnsworth,"Bad news, everyone. By the time you watch this tape, I'll be gone, leaving behind me nothing but a history of failure and my original hip-bones. You see, I've been lying about my age; I'm not actually 150, I'm 160. Oh, vanity, thy name is Professor Farnsworth. And now that I have nothing to live for, I've alerted the Sunset Squad robots to take me away."
Farnsworth,"Bad news, everyone. By the time you watch this tape, I'll be gone, leaving behind me nothing but a history of failure and my original hip-bones. You see, I've been lying about my age; I'm not actually 150, I'm 160. Oh, vanity, thy name is Professor Farnsworth. And now that I have nothing to live for, I've alerted the Sunset Squad robots to take me away.",Farnsworth,"... and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords, cruel though they may be a--"
Farnsworth,"... and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords, cruel though they may be a--",Farnsworth,"And now that I've nothing to live for, I've alerted the Sunset Squad robots to take me away."
Farnsworth,"And now that I've nothing to live for, I've alerted the Sunset Squad robots to take me away.",Amy,What?
Amy,What?,Hermes,"Oh, no!"
Hermes,"Oh, no!",Zoidberg,Oh.
Zoidberg,Oh.,Farnsworth,"I know you're all very upset, especially Bender."
Farnsworth,"I know you're all very upset, especially Bender.",Bender,"Well, life goes on. Except for you!"
Bender,"Well, life goes on. Except for you!",Farnsworth,"I'm sure that Bender has just made a cutting remark, but he doesn't know I taped over his soap operas to record this message."
Farnsworth,"I'm sure that Bender has just made a cutting remark, but he doesn't know I taped over his soap operas to record this message.",Bender,You bastard!
Bender,You bastard!,Fry,We've gotta get him back.
Fry,We've gotta get him back.,Cubert,Impossible! No one knows where they take those old geezers.
Cubert,Impossible! No one knows where they take those old geezers.,Fry,"Nothing is impossible. You'd know that if you really took after the Professor, like I do."
Fry,"Nothing is impossible. You'd know that if you really took after the Professor, like I do.",Fry,Uh ... what?
Fry,Uh ... what?,Cubert,Wait a second. That means I also take after you!
Cubert,Wait a second. That means I also take after you!,Leela,Quiet. I think I know how to find the Professor.
Leela,Quiet. I think I know how to find the Professor.,Bender,"Lay it on us, big boots."
Bender,"Lay it on us, big boots.",Leela,"If the Smellescope can pick up the Professor's odour, we may have a chance to save him."
Leela,"If the Smellescope can pick up the Professor's odour, we may have a chance to save him.",Cubert,"know, odours are made up of particles that can't travel through the vacuum of space."
Cubert,"know, odours are made up of particles that can't travel through the vacuum of space.",Leela,... letters to the editor. It's the Professor!
Leela,... letters to the editor. It's the Professor!,Bender,To the flying machine!
Bender,To the flying machine!,Fry,U-turn! U-turn!
Fry,U-turn! U-turn!,Cubert,We'll never find this place. Robots are very good at keeping secrets.
Cubert,We'll never find this place. Robots are very good at keeping secrets.,Bender,"No, we're not, you little bed-wetter. Oops! I'm sorry."
Bender,"No, we're not, you little bed-wetter. Oops! I'm sorry.",Leela,There it is! The Near-Death Star!
Leela,There it is! The Near-Death Star!,Leela,"OK, we'll tell them the Professor escaped and we're bringing him back. Fry, you'll have to dress up like a 160-year-old man."
Leela,"OK, we'll tell them the Professor escaped and we're bringing him back. Fry, you'll have to dress up like a 160-year-old man.",Fry,I'm on it!
Fry,I'm on it!,Cubert,"My God, the illusion is so perfect I almost forgot I was looking at an idiot!"
Cubert,"My God, the illusion is so perfect I almost forgot I was looking at an idiot!",Leela,"Now, they may ask for a DNA sample."
Leela,"Now, they may ask for a DNA sample.",Fry,I'd like to see them find it!
Fry,I'd like to see them find it!,Cubert,This plan is impossible. We don't even have a sample of the Professor's DNA.
Cubert,This plan is impossible. We don't even have a sample of the Professor's DNA.,Bender,I think I know where to get some.
Bender,I think I know where to get some.,Cubert,have to be the hump?
Cubert,have to be the hump?,Fry,'Cause you're too ugly to be a wart.
Fry,'Cause you're too ugly to be a wart.,Leela,Your Medicare dollars at work.
Leela,Your Medicare dollars at work.,Barrierbot,#1.
Barrierbot,#1.,Leela,"Uh, this is Professor Hubert Farnsworth. He escaped."
Leela,"Uh, this is Professor Hubert Farnsworth. He escaped.",Barrierbot,#1: Escaped? No one escapes.
Barrierbot,#1: Escaped? No one escapes.,Barrierbot,#2 does not look 160.
Barrierbot,#2 does not look 160.,Fry,"Hey, you kids, get off the lawn!"
Fry,"Hey, you kids, get off the lawn!",Barrierbot,"#1: Hmm, it is true old people are often concerned that there are children on their lawns."
Barrierbot,"#1: Hmm, it is true old people are often concerned that there are children on their lawns.",Barrierbot,#2: There's no denying that. But we'll still need to verify his identity with a DNA sample.
Barrierbot,#2: There's no denying that. But we'll still need to verify his identity with a DNA sample.,Bender,"Got a hot, steaming batch right here!"
Bender,"Got a hot, steaming batch right here!",Barrierbot,#2: We only needed one cell!
Barrierbot,#2: We only needed one cell!,Bender,"Eh, keep the change, buddy."
Bender,"Eh, keep the change, buddy.",Cubert,Stupid robot.
Cubert,Stupid robot.,Barrierbot,#1: Did your hump just say something?
Barrierbot,#1: Did your hump just say something?,Fry,Uh ... I-I've got talking hump syndrome.
Fry,Uh ... I-I've got talking hump syndrome.,Barrierbot,"#1: Ah, T.H.S."
Barrierbot,"#1: Ah, T.H.S.",Barrierbot,#2: Identity confirmed. Return this shambling shuffle-boarder to his room.
Barrierbot,#2: Identity confirmed. Return this shambling shuffle-boarder to his room.,Barrierbot,#1: 7152 Maple Drive.
Barrierbot,#1: 7152 Maple Drive.,Leela,Sounds nice.
Leela,Sounds nice.,Barrierbot,#1: Prepare to be surprised.
Barrierbot,#1: Prepare to be surprised.,Fry,So this is where they stick old people. It's horrific!
Fry,So this is where they stick old people. It's horrific!,Leela,At least it keeps them from driving.
Leela,At least it keeps them from driving.,Leela,Brace yourself for the worst.
Leela,Brace yourself for the worst.,Bender,And yet he looks so natural.
Bender,And yet he looks so natural.,Cubert,What's happening?
Cubert,What's happening?,Leela,"We have to disconnect him very, very carefully, or the shock could kill him."
Leela,"We have to disconnect him very, very carefully, or the shock could kill him.",Guardbot,#1 Seize them!
Guardbot,#1 Seize them!,Guardbot,#2: Seize them!
Guardbot,#2: Seize them!,Guardbot,#3: Seize them!
Guardbot,#3: Seize them!,Guardbot,#4: Seize them!
Guardbot,#4: Seize them!,Guardbot,#1 them!
Guardbot,#1 them!,Guardbot,"#2: Aww, I'm so bad at this!"
Guardbot,"#2: Aww, I'm so bad at this!",Guardbot,#3: Uh-oh!
Guardbot,#3: Uh-oh!,Leela,"We're probably gonna make it, but we might not."
Leela,"We're probably gonna make it, but we might not.",Cubert,It's impossible! We'll never fit.
Cubert,It's impossible! We'll never fit.,Fry,Will too!
Fry,Will too!,Cubert,Told you.
Cubert,Told you.,Fry,"Come on, Leela! Step your big boot down on the gas pedal."
Fry,"Come on, Leela! Step your big boot down on the gas pedal.",Leela,They've blown out one of our engines!
Leela,They've blown out one of our engines!,Fry,Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!
Fry,Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!,Leela,Only the Professor knows how to fix it. We have to wake him up.
Leela,Only the Professor knows how to fix it. We have to wake him up.,Fry,Try shocking him.
Fry,Try shocking him.,Bender,Your social security cheque is late! Stuff costs more than it used to! Young people use curse words!
Bender,Your social security cheque is late! Stuff costs more than it used to! Young people use curse words!,Fry,"Damnit, we'll have to fix the engine ourself."
Fry,"Damnit, we'll have to fix the engine ourself.",Leela,"We can't, you bastard! No one knows how it works. It's impossible!"
Leela,"We can't, you bastard! No one knows how it works. It's impossible!",Cubert,The engines don't move the ship at all. The ship stays where it is and the engines move the universe around it.
Cubert,The engines don't move the ship at all. The ship stays where it is and the engines move the universe around it.,Bender,That's a complete load.
Bender,That's a complete load.,Cubert,Let's ride!
Cubert,Let's ride!,Cubert,"Good news, everyone! He's made a complete recovery."
Cubert,"Good news, everyone! He's made a complete recovery.",Amy,Yeah!
Amy,Yeah!,Hermes,Wow!
Hermes,Wow!,Leela,All right!
Leela,All right!,Farnsworth,See? I only broke one ankle.
Farnsworth,See? I only broke one ankle.,Fry,So what were they doing to you in that awful drawer?
Fry,So what were they doing to you in that awful drawer?,Farnsworth,"Oh, they had me hooked up to a bizarre virtual world that seemed absolutely real."
Farnsworth,"Oh, they had me hooked up to a bizarre virtual world that seemed absolutely real.",Amy,What was it like?
Amy,What was it like?,Farnsworth,"It was as though I were living in a facility in Florida with hundreds of other old people. All day long we'd play bingo, eat oatmeal and wait for our children to call."
Farnsworth,"It was as though I were living in a facility in Florida with hundreds of other old people. All day long we'd play bingo, eat oatmeal and wait for our children to call.",Leela,It's a hundred times more horrible than anything I could imagine.
Leela,It's a hundred times more horrible than anything I could imagine.,Farnsworth,"Oh, my, yes. Thank you all for saving me. Especially you, my little clone. No matter what you decide to do with your life, I'm still proud of you."
Farnsworth,"Oh, my, yes. Thank you all for saving me. Especially you, my little clone. No matter what you decide to do with your life, I'm still proud of you.",Cubert,"I've already decided. Dad, when I grow up I wanna be just like you."
Cubert,"I've already decided. Dad, when I grow up I wanna be just like you.",Farnsworth,"Don't worry, son, you will. Incidentally, you might want to read up on a condition known as wandering bladder."
Farnsworth,"Don't worry, son, you will. Incidentally, you might want to read up on a condition known as wandering bladder.",Cubert,Why?
Cubert,Why?,Farnsworth,No reason. No reason at all.
Farnsworth,No reason. No reason at all.,Hermes,My God! It's from the Central Bureaucracy!
Hermes,My God! It's from the Central Bureaucracy!,Leela,I'm having a poker game tonight with some friends from my old cryogenics job. You guys interested?
Leela,I'm having a poker game tonight with some friends from my old cryogenics job. You guys interested?,Bender,I don't know. I only gamble with chumps.
Bender,I don't know. I only gamble with chumps.,Fry,I'll play.
Fry,I'll play.,Bender,I'm in!
Bender,I'm in!,Zoidberg,"Leela, Fry, robot. No matter what it is you're doing tonight, I'm available."
Zoidberg,"Leela, Fry, robot. No matter what it is you're doing tonight, I'm available.",Leela,"We're playing poker. But I'm warning you, my friends are serious players."
Leela,"We're playing poker. But I'm warning you, my friends are serious players.",Zoidberg,"Bah, big shots. I say let the dice do the talking."
Zoidberg,"Bah, big shots. I say let the dice do the talking.",Fry,Wow! You look happy. Is someone fired?
Fry,Wow! You look happy. Is someone fired?,Hermes,"Better! The Central Bureaucracy is conducting an inspection tomorrow. I will finally be promoted to grade 35, the 35th highest grade there is."
Hermes,"Better! The Central Bureaucracy is conducting an inspection tomorrow. I will finally be promoted to grade 35, the 35th highest grade there is.",Leela,"Hermes, wait! We're having a poker party. Stay and whip off a batch of your famous jerk dip."
Leela,"Hermes, wait! We're having a poker party. Stay and whip off a batch of your famous jerk dip.",Hermes,"Sorry, I spent all day putting my office in order. Now I got to go home and relax the traditional Jamaican way: A glass of warm milk and good night sleep."
Hermes,"Sorry, I spent all day putting my office in order. Now I got to go home and relax the traditional Jamaican way: A glass of warm milk and good night sleep.",Fry,Jamaican? I thought you were some kinda outer-space potato man.
Fry,Jamaican? I thought you were some kinda outer-space potato man.,Leela,"Ah, that must be my old boss."
Leela,"Ah, that must be my old boss.",Ipgee,"Hello, Leela. You're fired."
Ipgee,"Hello, Leela. You're fired.",Leela,I know.
Leela,I know.,Ipgee,I'm sorry but it's just that you're over a year late for work at this point.
Ipgee,I'm sorry but it's just that you're over a year late for work at this point.,Terry,Let the games begin!
Terry,Let the games begin!,Ipgee,"So I told Leela, Your request for a date is most flattering but I must decline. These office romances never work out. After all, that is how I met my horrible wife."
Ipgee,"So I told Leela, Your request for a date is most flattering but I must decline. These office romances never work out. After all, that is how I met my horrible wife.",Leela,But you never wore your ring. I didn't know you had a wife.
Leela,But you never wore your ring. I didn't know you had a wife.,Ipgee,And my wife doesn't know I have a job. I keep my personal and professional lives separate.
Ipgee,And my wife doesn't know I have a job. I keep my personal and professional lives separate.,Bender,"Come on, let's deal. You'll have plenty of time to talk when you're poor."
Bender,"Come on, let's deal. You'll have plenty of time to talk when you're poor.",Fry,"What's with the specs, Bender?"
Fry,"What's with the specs, Bender?",Bender,They're my lucky shades. I stole them off some lucky guy while his lucky seeing eye dog was taking a whiz.
Bender,They're my lucky shades. I stole them off some lucky guy while his lucky seeing eye dog was taking a whiz.,Fry,Hey!
Fry,Hey!,Zoidberg,I can't spell anything with these cards.
Zoidberg,I can't spell anything with these cards.,Zoidberg,"Three human females, a number and a king giving himself brain surgery."
Zoidberg,"Three human females, a number and a king giving himself brain surgery.",Fry,"It doesn't matter how many human females you have, Bender's on a hot streak."
Fry,"It doesn't matter how many human females you have, Bender's on a hot streak.",Bender,Read 'em and leak salt water!
Bender,Read 'em and leak salt water!,Fry,"Oh, man!"
Fry,"Oh, man!",Terry,That's my baby's milk money!
Terry,That's my baby's milk money!,Ipgee,"Oh, I am broke. What will I tell my horrible wife?"
Ipgee,"Oh, I am broke. What will I tell my horrible wife?",Bender,If I were you I'd be more worried about that tapeworm going to town on your intestines.
Bender,If I were you I'd be more worried about that tapeworm going to town on your intestines.,Ipgee,Let me see those glasses.
Ipgee,Let me see those glasses.,Bender,Um ... uh...
Bender,Um ... uh...,Ipgee,"Oh, my various Gods! X-Ray specs!"
Ipgee,"Oh, my various Gods! X-Ray specs!",Bender,"Guys, I swear those are prescription. I need 'em for reading stuff ... on the other side of stuff."
Bender,"Guys, I swear those are prescription. I need 'em for reading stuff ... on the other side of stuff.",Lou,Cheater!
Lou,Cheater!,Ipgee,Get him!
Ipgee,Get him!,Terry,Break his neck!
Terry,Break his neck!,Zoidberg,"No, don't hurt him! He's my best friend!"
Zoidberg,"No, don't hurt him! He's my best friend!",Bender,"Ow! Easy on the arm! Oh! Oh, my ass!"
Bender,"Ow! Easy on the arm! Oh! Oh, my ass!",Hermes,Great cow of Moscow!
Hermes,Great cow of Moscow!,Bender,"Uh, it was ghosts! Big ones! And a tornado!"
Bender,"Uh, it was ghosts! Big ones! And a tornado!",Hermes,And that's as low as limbo sticks get.
Hermes,And that's as low as limbo sticks get.,Fry,"Aw, hey, c'mon, don't worry. We'll watch you clean up."
Fry,"Aw, hey, c'mon, don't worry. We'll watch you clean up.",Hermes,It's too late. The inspector will be here in exactly one second.
Hermes,It's too late. The inspector will be here in exactly one second.,Hermes,Who the hell are you?
Hermes,Who the hell are you?,Morgan,"Morgan Proctor, bureaucrat grade 19."
Morgan,"Morgan Proctor, bureaucrat grade 19.",Hermes,"Hermes Conrad, bureaucrat grade 36."
Hermes,"Hermes Conrad, bureaucrat grade 36.",Morgan,Enough friendly banter. Shall we begin the inspection?
Morgan,Enough friendly banter. Shall we begin the inspection?,Hermes,"This way, please."
Hermes,"This way, please.",Fry,"Jeez, Hermes, you seem awfully calm about this."
Fry,"Jeez, Hermes, you seem awfully calm about this.",Hermes,Don't worry. I have a plan.
Hermes,Don't worry. I have a plan.,Hermes,I'm going to jump!
Hermes,I'm going to jump!,Amy,No!
Amy,No!,Zoidberg,No!
Zoidberg,No!,Bender,Do a flip!
Bender,Do a flip!,Leela,"Don't do it, Hermes! You have so much to live for."
Leela,"Don't do it, Hermes! You have so much to live for.",Bender,"I get it, reverse psychology."
Bender,"I get it, reverse psychology.",Farnsworth,"Please, old friend, don't jump. Use another method that won't damage your liver. Other people need it, you know."
Farnsworth,"Please, old friend, don't jump. Use another method that won't damage your liver. Other people need it, you know.",LaBarbara,Husband! Nooo!
LaBarbara,Husband! Nooo!,Hermes,"Outta my way, wife! I wasn't cut out to be a bureaucrat anyway. I'm only anal 78.36% of the time. I'm not worthy to stamp a form, so I'll stamp the pavement with my flabby body."
Hermes,"Outta my way, wife! I wasn't cut out to be a bureaucrat anyway. I'm only anal 78.36% of the time. I'm not worthy to stamp a form, so I'll stamp the pavement with my flabby body.",Morgan,"Bureaucrat Conrad, if you complete your death transaction without filing a suicide and/or falling accident permit, you will be posthumously demoted."
Morgan,"Bureaucrat Conrad, if you complete your death transaction without filing a suicide and/or falling accident permit, you will be posthumously demoted.",Hermes,Life. Death. Either way I'm demoted to a tiny cubicle.
Hermes,Life. Death. Either way I'm demoted to a tiny cubicle.,Hermes,Sweet something of ... of someplace.
Hermes,Sweet something of ... of someplace.,Morgan,"As your superior, I hereby relieve you of duty. Consider yourself on paid vacation."
Morgan,"As your superior, I hereby relieve you of duty. Consider yourself on paid vacation.",Hermes,Oh! The ultimate penalty!
Hermes,Oh! The ultimate penalty!,Zoidberg,"I recommend the health cure on Spa 5, the sauna planet. Here, read."
Zoidberg,"I recommend the health cure on Spa 5, the sauna planet. Here, read.",LaBarbara,Spa 5? Is it good?
LaBarbara,Spa 5? Is it good?,Zoidberg,"Oh, it's wonderful! I don't know anything about it but they give me a bucket of krill for every patient I send."
Zoidberg,"Oh, it's wonderful! I don't know anything about it but they give me a bucket of krill for every patient I send.",Morgan,"Naturally I'll have to assign a bureaucrat to fill in for Hermes while he's away. I assign me, I accept. Welcome aboard."
Morgan,"Naturally I'll have to assign a bureaucrat to fill in for Hermes while he's away. I assign me, I accept. Welcome aboard.",Zoidberg,Then it's settled. Hermes will relax and Zoidberg will eat. Hurrah!
Zoidberg,Then it's settled. Hermes will relax and Zoidberg will eat. Hurrah!,Morgan,"I've been reviewing your corporate records. Regarding last Monday's delivery, why did it take twice as long as scheduled?"
Morgan,"I've been reviewing your corporate records. Regarding last Monday's delivery, why did it take twice as long as scheduled?",Leela,Fry got his head stuck in a crater.
Leela,Fry got his head stuck in a crater.,Fry,I thought it would fit.
Fry,I thought it would fit.,Morgan,"And during this period of head-crater interaction, what were you doing?"
Morgan,"And during this period of head-crater interaction, what were you doing?",Bender,Martini drinking contests with the autopilot. I would've had him this time but we ran out of olives.
Bender,Martini drinking contests with the autopilot. I would've had him this time but we ran out of olives.,Leela,I can explain--
Leela,I can explain--,Morgan,You really think you can explain how you left port without a full compliment of olives? I think not.
Morgan,You really think you can explain how you left port without a full compliment of olives? I think not.,Leela,"What is this, high school?"
Leela,"What is this, high school?",Morgan,Locker check!
Morgan,Locker check!,Morgan,Why isn't this jacket in alphabetical order?
Morgan,Why isn't this jacket in alphabetical order?,Leela,What?
Leela,What?,Morgan,The zipper. It should be at the bottom.
Morgan,The zipper. It should be at the bottom.,Bender,"Hey, sometimes a guy gets lonely."
Bender,"Hey, sometimes a guy gets lonely.",Morgan,Why is there yoghurt in this cap?
Morgan,Why is there yoghurt in this cap?,Fry,"Uh, I can explain that. See, it used to be milk and, well, time makes fools of us all."
Fry,"Uh, I can explain that. See, it used to be milk and, well, time makes fools of us all.",Morgan,"You are all dismissed. Fry, I will speak to you alone."
Morgan,"You are all dismissed. Fry, I will speak to you alone.",Fry,"Uh, wait, this is the other Fry's locker. I'm Phry with a P-H."
Fry,"Uh, wait, this is the other Fry's locker. I'm Phry with a P-H.",Morgan,Dirty boy! Dirty! Dirty! Dirty!
Morgan,Dirty boy! Dirty! Dirty! Dirty!,Fry,What the hell's going on? I thought you were anti-dirty not pro-dirty.
Fry,What the hell's going on? I thought you were anti-dirty not pro-dirty.,Morgan,I'm surrounded by neat freaks everyday. There's nothing kinkier to me than a filthy slop-jock like you.
Morgan,I'm surrounded by neat freaks everyday. There's nothing kinkier to me than a filthy slop-jock like you.,Fry,"Oh, stop!"
Fry,"Oh, stop!",Morgan,"Now listen, you filthy pig. No one can know about us. If anyone asks, I'll deny it."
Morgan,"Now listen, you filthy pig. No one can know about us. If anyone asks, I'll deny it.",Fry,Just like very other girl I've dated.
Fry,Just like very other girl I've dated.,Woman,"... come on, work those arms!"
Woman,"... come on, work those arms!",LaBarbara,"This is no spa, it's a forced-labour camp."
LaBarbara,"This is no spa, it's a forced-labour camp.",Hermes,"Curse that Dr. Zoidberg! If I get out of here, he'll be looking down the business-end of a shrimp fork."
Hermes,"Curse that Dr. Zoidberg! If I get out of here, he'll be looking down the business-end of a shrimp fork.",Australian,"Man: Give him one for me too, mate. I don't know why I go to him."
Australian,"Man: Give him one for me too, mate. I don't know why I go to him.",Woman,"I don't miss twice, campers!"
Woman,"I don't miss twice, campers!",Morgan,"And for those six and a half reasons, I am demoting Leela to co-pilot."
Morgan,"And for those six and a half reasons, I am demoting Leela to co-pilot.",Leela,Co-pilot? Under who?
Leela,Co-pilot? Under who?,Morgan,The autopilot.
Morgan,The autopilot.,Morgan,"Mr. Bender, you are now in charge of co-ordinating the Professor's bodily functions."
Morgan,"Mr. Bender, you are now in charge of co-ordinating the Professor's bodily functions.",Farnsworth,That's a full-time job.
Farnsworth,That's a full-time job.,Morgan,"And Fry, as for you, I am promoting you to executive delivery boy. You will no longer go on deliveries and you will have your own office next to mine."
Morgan,"And Fry, as for you, I am promoting you to executive delivery boy. You will no longer go on deliveries and you will have your own office next to mine.",Fry,Alright!
Fry,Alright!,Morgan,Meeting adjourned.
Morgan,Meeting adjourned.,Amy,"I can't figure why she's so nice to you, Fry."
Amy,"I can't figure why she's so nice to you, Fry.",Zoidberg,"She's a hateful monster, this Morgan. She scolded and hit me. I tell you, she's risking my friendship with her."
Zoidberg,"She's a hateful monster, this Morgan. She scolded and hit me. I tell you, she's risking my friendship with her.",Leela,"Bender, what happened to you?"
Leela,"Bender, what happened to you?",Bender,"Why, if she were here, I'd-- Uh-oh, is she behind me?"
Bender,"Why, if she were here, I'd-- Uh-oh, is she behind me?",Morgan,No. I'm in front of you.
Morgan,No. I'm in front of you.,Fry,Morgan? It's 3am.
Fry,Morgan? It's 3am.,Morgan,"So, uh, this is where you eat?"
Morgan,"So, uh, this is where you eat?",Fry,sleep.
Fry,sleep.,Morgan,"Oh, Fry!"
Morgan,"Oh, Fry!",Fry,"Uh, wait, Bender's my roommate. He could be back any second."
Fry,"Uh, wait, Bender's my roommate. He could be back any second.",Morgan,Not likely. I ordered him to flush out the Professor's ear wax.
Morgan,Not likely. I ordered him to flush out the Professor's ear wax.,Bender,It's all coming together now!
Bender,It's all coming together now!,Bender,"I must say, this opens my eyes. Another case closed, my dear Watson."
Bender,"I must say, this opens my eyes. Another case closed, my dear Watson.",Fry,"Morgan, come back! He's stuck in a loop."
Fry,"Morgan, come back! He's stuck in a loop.",Bender,For I was blind but now I see!
Bender,For I was blind but now I see!,Bender,The cat's out of the bag now!
Bender,The cat's out of the bag now!,Morgan,"Mr. Bender, about last night: That was just a ... a misunderstanding."
Morgan,"Mr. Bender, about last night: That was just a ... a misunderstanding.",Bender,... were having sex with you.
Bender,... were having sex with you.,Morgan,"No. You see, a bureaucrat of my rank isn't supposed to fraternise."
Morgan,"No. You see, a bureaucrat of my rank isn't supposed to fraternise.",Bender,... old Bender.
Bender,... old Bender.,Fry,"Hey, what did you do to him?"
Fry,"Hey, what did you do to him?",Morgan,"I downloaded his brain. Everything that is Bender is right here. His mind, his memories, his in-your-face interface."
Morgan,"I downloaded his brain. Everything that is Bender is right here. His mind, his memories, his in-your-face interface.",Bender,I am Bender. Please insert girder.
Bender,I am Bender. Please insert girder.,Fry,What did you do now? Stop doing things!
Fry,What did you do now? Stop doing things!,Morgan,"I sent the disk to be filed at the Central Bureaucracy. I did what I had to do, Fry; He was a bad robot."
Morgan,"I sent the disk to be filed at the Central Bureaucracy. I did what I had to do, Fry; He was a bad robot.",Fry.,I want him back right now.
Fry.,I want him back right now.,Morgan,Then you should have filed a request 20 years ago.
Morgan,Then you should have filed a request 20 years ago.,Fry,I'm sick of you and your bureaucracy!
Fry,I'm sick of you and your bureaucracy!,Morgan,Dirty boy! Dirty boy!
Morgan,Dirty boy! Dirty boy!,Leela,You and Morgan were having an affair?
Leela,You and Morgan were having an affair?,Fry,I couldn't help it. She loved me because of the part of me that's a slob and I loved her because of the part of me that's desperate.
Fry,I couldn't help it. She loved me because of the part of me that's a slob and I loved her because of the part of me that's desperate.,Bender,I am Bender. Please insert girder.
Bender,I am Bender. Please insert girder.,Fry,Poor Bender. Without his brain he's become all quiet and helpful. We've got to go to the Central Bureaucracy and get that disk back!
Fry,Poor Bender. Without his brain he's become all quiet and helpful. We've got to go to the Central Bureaucracy and get that disk back!,Amy,Yeah!
Amy,Yeah!,Farnsworth,"Oh, yes, we must, yes."
Farnsworth,"Oh, yes, we must, yes.",Amy,Why?
Amy,Why?,Leela,"Well, those arguments aside, we're still going."
Leela,"Well, those arguments aside, we're still going.",Farnsworth,You can't just waltz into the Central Bureaucracy. It's a tangled web of red tape and regulations. I've never been but a friend of mine went completely mad trying to find the washroom there.
Farnsworth,You can't just waltz into the Central Bureaucracy. It's a tangled web of red tape and regulations. I've never been but a friend of mine went completely mad trying to find the washroom there.,Leela,Then we'll need a guide. Someone who's been there before.
Leela,Then we'll need a guide. Someone who's been there before.,Farnsworth,"Oh, I've been there. Lots of times!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, I've been there. Lots of times!",Hermes,Look at that: The carts go out full but they come in empty. It's criminally inefficient.
Hermes,Look at that: The carts go out full but they come in empty. It's criminally inefficient.,Australian,"Man: Quiet, mate. Pulling the empty carts is the closest thing we get to sleep."
Australian,"Man: Quiet, mate. Pulling the empty carts is the closest thing we get to sleep.",Hermes,But don't you see? They could increase efficiency 4% if they used the empty carts to bring in heavy mining machinery.
Hermes,But don't you see? They could increase efficiency 4% if they used the empty carts to bring in heavy mining machinery.,Man,"Hey, I like the way you think."
Man,"Hey, I like the way you think.",Australian,"Man: Oh, Lord!"
Australian,"Man: Oh, Lord!",Man,"You know, you oughta be a bureaucrat or something."
Man,"You know, you oughta be a bureaucrat or something.",Fry,"Man, how long is this gonna take?"
Fry,"Man, how long is this gonna take?",Old,Man: I'm still waiting on my birth certificate.
Old,Man: I'm still waiting on my birth certificate.,Farnsworth,"Well, it doesn't look like I'll make it inside with the rest of you. Uh, but good luck. Just leave me where I drop."
Farnsworth,"Well, it doesn't look like I'll make it inside with the rest of you. Uh, but good luck. Just leave me where I drop.",Old,"Man: Oh, great! Someone had a baby."
Old,"Man: Oh, great! Someone had a baby.",Leela,Come on. I have a better idea.
Leela,Come on. I have a better idea.,Leela,Excuse me? We're from the Planet Express delivery company. We're here to deliver a robot.
Leela,Excuse me? We're from the Planet Express delivery company. We're here to deliver a robot.,Bender,I am Bender. Please insert girder.
Bender,I am Bender. Please insert girder.,Grade,53 Bureaucrat: Looks like we've got a new office cut-up!
Grade,53 Bureaucrat: Looks like we've got a new office cut-up!,Grade,41 Bureaucrat: Look out! Look out! I'm gonna crash my slow-mobile! I had to swerve to avoid you.
Grade,41 Bureaucrat: Look out! Look out! I'm gonna crash my slow-mobile! I had to swerve to avoid you.,Leela,"While you're crashing, could you tell us where all these canisters end up?"
Leela,"While you're crashing, could you tell us where all these canisters end up?",Grade,"41 Bureaucrat: Oh, you want Central Filing."
Grade,"41 Bureaucrat: Oh, you want Central Filing.",Leela,OK.
Leela,OK.,Fry,OK.
Fry,OK.,Amy,"OK, thanks."
Amy,"OK, thanks.",Farnsworth,Wonderful.
Farnsworth,Wonderful.,Grade,41 Bureaucrat: Nooo!
Grade,41 Bureaucrat: Nooo!,Grade,20 Bureaucrat: Central Filing? Of course I know where that is. I'm a grade 20.
Grade,20 Bureaucrat: Central Filing? Of course I know where that is. I'm a grade 20.,Leela,Where is it?
Leela,Where is it?,Grade,20 Bureaucrat you. What do I look like? A grade 16?
Grade,20 Bureaucrat you. What do I look like? A grade 16?,Leela,Then we'll track it using my wrist LoJack-a-mater.
Leela,Then we'll track it using my wrist LoJack-a-mater.,Wrist,"Machine: Cold. Cold. Warmer. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot."
Wrist,"Machine: Cold. Cold. Warmer. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.",Grade,11 Bureaucrat: Please don't tell my supervisor I was sleeping.
Grade,11 Bureaucrat: Please don't tell my supervisor I was sleeping.,Leela,"This is it. We'll just run in, grab Bender's disk and run out. Got it?"
Leela,"This is it. We'll just run in, grab Bender's disk and run out. Got it?",Fry,"We'll never find that disk will we, Bender?"
Fry,"We'll never find that disk will we, Bender?",Bender,I am Bender. Please insert girder.
Bender,I am Bender. Please insert girder.,Fry,You're right. Nothing is over as long as there's one thin ray of hope.
Fry,You're right. Nothing is over as long as there's one thin ray of hope.,Morgan,I should have known you'd come here rather than follow proper procedure. And I did know. And that's why I came here.
Morgan,I should have known you'd come here rather than follow proper procedure. And I did know. And that's why I came here.,Fry,"Listen, Morgan, we're through. You're an evil, heartless woman and I never wanna see you again. However, would you help us get Bender back for old time's sake?"
Fry,"Listen, Morgan, we're through. You're an evil, heartless woman and I never wanna see you again. However, would you help us get Bender back for old time's sake?",Morgan,"pile, and it would take some sort of giant, mechanical, atomic-powered sorting machine to find him."
Morgan,"pile, and it would take some sort of giant, mechanical, atomic-powered sorting machine to find him.",Hermes,You rang?
Hermes,You rang?,Farnsworth,"Damnit, Hermes, just jump already. Stop hogging that healthy liver."
Farnsworth,"Damnit, Hermes, just jump already. Stop hogging that healthy liver.",Hermes,"No, I want to live. Organising that forced-labour spa rekindled my lifelong love of bureaucracy."
Hermes,"No, I want to live. Organising that forced-labour spa rekindled my lifelong love of bureaucracy.",LaBarbara,My Hermes got that hellhole running so efficiently that all the physical labour is now done by a single Australian man.
LaBarbara,My Hermes got that hellhole running so efficiently that all the physical labour is now done by a single Australian man.,Leela,But how did you know we were here?
Leela,But how did you know we were here?,Hermes,Dr. Zoidberg brought us.
Hermes,Dr. Zoidberg brought us.,Zoidberg,It was me! I'm the hero!
Zoidberg,It was me! I'm the hero!,Number,1.0: Request for explanation of incident meeting?
Number,1.0: Request for explanation of incident meeting?,Morgan,Number 1.0.
Morgan,Number 1.0.,Hermes,"Number 1.0, I hereby petition you for an emergency sort-and-file, under regulation 2 point--"
Hermes,"Number 1.0, I hereby petition you for an emergency sort-and-file, under regulation 2 point--",Number,1.0: D-D-D-D-Don't quote me regulations. I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the colour of the book that regulation's in. We kept it grey.
Number,1.0: D-D-D-D-Don't quote me regulations. I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the colour of the book that regulation's in. We kept it grey.,Hermes,"Sir, please, I must located the disk with my friend's brain on it."
Hermes,"Sir, please, I must located the disk with my friend's brain on it.",Number,1.0 if you fail to sort the master in pile by closing time: 1pm.
Number,1.0 if you fail to sort the master in pile by closing time: 1pm.,Leela,That's only four minutes from now.
Leela,That's only four minutes from now.,To,get into my 10th birthday party.
To,get into my 10th birthday party.,LaBarbara,But something changed when my man turned pro.
LaBarbara,But something changed when my man turned pro.,Hermes,I was sortin' but I wasn't smilin'.
Hermes,I was sortin' but I wasn't smilin'.,LaBarbara,He forgot that it's not about badges and ranks.
LaBarbara,He forgot that it's not about badges and ranks.,Even,if nobody paid us!
Even,if nobody paid us!,Zoidberg,They said I probably shouldn't be a surgeon.
Zoidberg,They said I probably shouldn't be a surgeon.,Farnsworth,They pooh-poohed my electric frankfurter.
Farnsworth,They pooh-poohed my electric frankfurter.,Leela,They said I probably shouldn't fly with just one eye.
Leela,They said I probably shouldn't fly with just one eye.,Bender,I am Bender. Please insert girder.
Bender,I am Bender. Please insert girder.,Hermes,Everybody sing Jamaica!
Hermes,Everybody sing Jamaica!,All,Jamaica!
All,Jamaica!,Hermes,"Just the bureaucrats, Jamaica!"
Hermes,"Just the bureaucrats, Jamaica!",Bureaucrats,Jamaica!
Bureaucrats,Jamaica!,Hermes,The grade 19's!
Hermes,The grade 19's!,Morgan,Jamaica.
Morgan,Jamaica.,Even,if it's not a good idea!
Even,if it's not a good idea!,Bender,"I'm Bender, baby! Please insert liquor!"
Bender,"I'm Bender, baby! Please insert liquor!",Fry,Yeah!
Fry,Yeah!,Zoidberg,Congratulations.
Zoidberg,Congratulations.,Number,1.0: Congratulations indeed but you finished with one second to spare so I'm demoting you. A good bureaucrat never finishes early.
Number,1.0: Congratulations indeed but you finished with one second to spare so I'm demoting you. A good bureaucrat never finishes early.,Amy,"That's OK, Hermes. At least we have you back."
Amy,"That's OK, Hermes. At least we have you back.",Morgan,"Not yet you don't. I'm still acting bureaucrat of Planet Express. And I have some changes to make. First, Fry, you're fired. Second--"
Morgan,"Not yet you don't. I'm still acting bureaucrat of Planet Express. And I have some changes to make. First, Fry, you're fired. Second--",Hermes,Not so fast! While I was sorting I came upon a certain document filed by one Morgan Proctor. Form B: Notification of Romantic Entanglement.
Hermes,Not so fast! While I was sorting I came upon a certain document filed by one Morgan Proctor. Form B: Notification of Romantic Entanglement.,Fry,"That's right, she fraternised me!"
Fry,"That's right, she fraternised me!",Morgan,That form isn't about you. It refers to my high school prom date. It was a regulation date that ended in regulation disappointment.
Morgan,That form isn't about you. It refers to my high school prom date. It was a regulation date that ended in regulation disappointment.,Hermes,times!
Hermes,times!,Morgan,No! No! I was young and reckless.
Morgan,No! No! I was young and reckless.,Number,1.0 Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away!
Number,1.0 Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away!,Farnsworth,"Well, it looks like I'll be needing my heroic bureaucrat back. At severely-reduced pay, of course."
Farnsworth,"Well, it looks like I'll be needing my heroic bureaucrat back. At severely-reduced pay, of course.",LaBarbara,It's better than nothing.
LaBarbara,It's better than nothing.,Fry,What about me? Can I come back at severely-reduced pay?
Fry,What about me? Can I come back at severely-reduced pay?,Hermes,"Come on, wife, let's blow this joint!"
Hermes,"Come on, wife, let's blow this joint!",Zoidberg,"When I was two, there was a tidal wave in--"
Zoidberg,"When I was two, there was a tidal wave in--",Zoidberg,Aw.
Zoidberg,Aw.,Hermes,"Exciting news, people! The pet licence I requisitioned for Nibbler has arrived."
Hermes,"Exciting news, people! The pet licence I requisitioned for Nibbler has arrived.",Leela,"Hermes, that's sweet. I didn't know you cared about Nibbler."
Leela,"Hermes, that's sweet. I didn't know you cared about Nibbler.",Hermes,"Great Jah's dreadlocks! There's been a mix-up. This isn't a pet licence, it's a fishing licence. And it's mandatory!"
Hermes,"Great Jah's dreadlocks! There's been a mix-up. This isn't a pet licence, it's a fishing licence. And it's mandatory!",Farnsworth,Ah! The exact centre of the Atlantic Ocean. This seems the logical place for fish to congregate.
Farnsworth,Ah! The exact centre of the Atlantic Ocean. This seems the logical place for fish to congregate.,Bender,So we're in international waters?
Bender,So we're in international waters?,Farnsworth,Indeed so.
Farnsworth,Indeed so.,Bender,"Hey, guess what you're accessories to?"
Bender,"Hey, guess what you're accessories to?",Leela,"The sun, the sea air, good friends."
Leela,"The sun, the sea air, good friends.",Bender,"Leela's right, fishing blows. Whattya say we make it interesting?"
Bender,"Leela's right, fishing blows. Whattya say we make it interesting?",Hermes,Why not?
Hermes,Why not?,Amy,Yeah.
Amy,Yeah.,Farnsworth,"Yeah, cool."
Farnsworth,"Yeah, cool.",Bender,"There, wasn't that interesting?"
Bender,"There, wasn't that interesting?",Leela,Bender!
Leela,Bender!,Fry,This contest is as good as over. I once caught a fish this big.
Fry,This contest is as good as over. I once caught a fish this big.,Bender,big!
Bender,big!,Leela,"I'm afraid you're both out of your league, boys, 'cause you're looking at a woman who owns her own harpoon."
Leela,"I'm afraid you're both out of your league, boys, 'cause you're looking at a woman who owns her own harpoon.",Bender,"Harpoon, my ass!"
Bender,"Harpoon, my ass!",Leela,OK.
Leela,OK.,Hermes,Crickets? Squid? Chicken necks?
Hermes,Crickets? Squid? Chicken necks?,Zoidberg,juicy--
Zoidberg,juicy--,Hermes,"Beat it, you mooching crawdad!"
Hermes,"Beat it, you mooching crawdad!",Bender,"Hey, Fry, check out my laser-guided fishing rod."
Bender,"Hey, Fry, check out my laser-guided fishing rod.",Fry,"Quiet, Bender, you're scaring away the fish."
Fry,"Quiet, Bender, you're scaring away the fish.",Bender,Good luck fishing on this side!
Bender,Good luck fishing on this side!,Fry,I can hit a fish between the eyes from 20 yards!
Fry,I can hit a fish between the eyes from 20 yards!,Bender,"Oh, yeah? I can hit a shrimp!"
Bender,"Oh, yeah? I can hit a shrimp!",Fry,I find it a bit hard to believe that--
Fry,I find it a bit hard to believe that--,Leela,"Gather round, chumps! I got the winner!"
Leela,"Gather round, chumps! I got the winner!",Amy,"Oh, so this is where you shop for your boots?"
Amy,"Oh, so this is where you shop for your boots?",Bender,Couple more of those and you'll have yourself a fish stick!
Bender,Couple more of those and you'll have yourself a fish stick!,Fry,Ow! My small intestine!
Fry,Ow! My small intestine!,Leela,"Bingo! Whatever it is, it's 20 times heavier than a boot."
Leela,"Bingo! Whatever it is, it's 20 times heavier than a boot.",Farnsworth,Uh-oh!
Farnsworth,Uh-oh!,Zoidberg,I'm so into you!
Zoidberg,I'm so into you!,Farnsworth,"Oh, my!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, my!",Fry,big!
Fry,big!,Bender,There. Like most of life's problems this one can be solved with bending.
Bender,There. Like most of life's problems this one can be solved with bending.,Farnsworth,"Bender, be careful. That's the ship's diamond filament tether. It's unbreakable."
Farnsworth,"Bender, be careful. That's the ship's diamond filament tether. It's unbreakable.",Bender,Then why do I have to be careful?
Bender,Then why do I have to be careful?,Farnsworth,It belonged to my grandmother.
Farnsworth,It belonged to my grandmother.,Hermes,My Manwich!
Hermes,My Manwich!,Leela,boots?
Leela,boots?,Zoidberg,I was eating it.
Zoidberg,I was eating it.,Leela,"Come on, let's go home."
Leela,"Come on, let's go home.",Amy,Sunburn! My fabulous body! It's ruined! What happened to my parasol?
Amy,Sunburn! My fabulous body! It's ruined! What happened to my parasol?,Bender,What? I put sunblock on you.
Bender,What? I put sunblock on you.,Amy,Well it didn't work!
Amy,Well it didn't work!,Leela,"Come on, Bender. Pull in your line and let's go."
Leela,"Come on, Bender. Pull in your line and let's go.",Bender,"Hey, I'm snagged."
Bender,"Hey, I'm snagged.",Farnsworth,Sweet Zombie Jesus! It's huge!
Farnsworth,Sweet Zombie Jesus! It's huge!,Amy,It's coming up!
Amy,It's coming up!,Hermes,"Oh, that's big!"
Hermes,"Oh, that's big!",Farnsworth,A colossal-mouth bass!
Farnsworth,A colossal-mouth bass!,Fry,It's diving!
Fry,It's diving!,Leela,It's pulling us under! Everyone into the ship!
Leela,It's pulling us under! Everyone into the ship!,Zoidberg,"Well, at least I'll die with my friends. Hello?"
Zoidberg,"Well, at least I'll die with my friends. Hello?",Hermes,My Speedos!
Hermes,My Speedos!,Leela,"Depth at 45 hundred feet, 48 hundred, 50 hundred! 5000 feet!"
Leela,"Depth at 45 hundred feet, 48 hundred, 50 hundred! 5000 feet!",Farnsworth,"Dear Lord, that's over 150 atmospheres of pressure."
Farnsworth,"Dear Lord, that's over 150 atmospheres of pressure.",Fry,How many atmospheres can this ship withstand?
Fry,How many atmospheres can this ship withstand?,Farnsworth,"Well it's a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one."
Farnsworth,"Well it's a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.",Bender,What's that? Is someone bending girders?
Bender,What's that? Is someone bending girders?,Leela,We'll be crushed if we don't equalise the pressure.
Leela,We'll be crushed if we don't equalise the pressure.,Fry,How do we do that?
Fry,How do we do that?,Farnsworth,That should do it.
Farnsworth,That should do it.,Amy,We're all gonna die!
Amy,We're all gonna die!,Fry,"Wait, I'll be back in a minute."
Fry,"Wait, I'll be back in a minute.",Leela,"You did it, Fry!"
Leela,"You did it, Fry!",Fry,Did what?
Fry,Did what?,Bender,"People, it's far, far worse than we thought; my fish got away."
Bender,"People, it's far, far worse than we thought; my fish got away.",Leela,"There. Good as new! Except we're three miles below the surface, we don't have any food and the ship won't work underwater."
Leela,"There. Good as new! Except we're three miles below the surface, we don't have any food and the ship won't work underwater.",Bender,Tempers are wearing thin. Let's just hope some robot doesn't kill everybody.
Bender,Tempers are wearing thin. Let's just hope some robot doesn't kill everybody.,Hermes,Zoidberg.
Hermes,Zoidberg.,Leela,"OK, everyone, calm down. The Professor and I will get to work on the ship. Bender, Zoidberg, since you can survive underwater, you'll go out and look for food."
Leela,"OK, everyone, calm down. The Professor and I will get to work on the ship. Bender, Zoidberg, since you can survive underwater, you'll go out and look for food.",Fry,I'd better go too. They don't know what I like.
Fry,I'd better go too. They don't know what I like.,Hermes,"Fry, no! The pressure will crush you like a green snake under a sugar cane truck."
Hermes,"Fry, no! The pressure will crush you like a green snake under a sugar cane truck.",Farnsworth,Not necessarily. This is chance for Fry to test out my experimental anti-pressure pill.
Farnsworth,Not necessarily. This is chance for Fry to test out my experimental anti-pressure pill.,Fry,I can't swallow that.
Fry,I can't swallow that.,Farnsworth,Well then good news! It's a suppository.
Farnsworth,Well then good news! It's a suppository.,Zoidberg,Aha!
Zoidberg,Aha!,Bender,"Aw, yeah!"
Bender,"Aw, yeah!",Zoidberg,"Look at me, I'm Dr. Zoidberg, homeowner!"
Zoidberg,"Look at me, I'm Dr. Zoidberg, homeowner!",Zoidberg,"Careful, Fry, I think that flag might be poisonous."
Zoidberg,"Careful, Fry, I think that flag might be poisonous.",Bender,Arr! The laws o' science be a harsh mistress!
Bender,Arr! The laws o' science be a harsh mistress!,Zoidberg,"Say, robot, old buddy? Could you help me move a couch?"
Zoidberg,"Say, robot, old buddy? Could you help me move a couch?",Bender,"Uh, OK, but I'm not carrying it upstairs."
Bender,"Uh, OK, but I'm not carrying it upstairs.",Zoidberg,"What is it, Fry?"
Zoidberg,"What is it, Fry?",Fry,I think I saw a mermaid.
Fry,I think I saw a mermaid.,Bender,You want some lemonade? You saw a big parade?
Bender,You want some lemonade? You saw a big parade?,Zoidberg,"Your student loans have been repaid? Then how 'bout lending your old pal Zoidberg a few bucks, Mr. Millionaire!"
Zoidberg,"Your student loans have been repaid? Then how 'bout lending your old pal Zoidberg a few bucks, Mr. Millionaire!",Leela,"Fry, swallow your food. Then talk."
Leela,"Fry, swallow your food. Then talk.",Fry,A mermaid!
Fry,A mermaid!,Amy,You think you saw a mermaid?
Amy,You think you saw a mermaid?,Fry,see a mermaid! She was wearing a tube top and she had a beautiful scaly tail. And I think she had hair extensions.
Fry,see a mermaid! She was wearing a tube top and she had a beautiful scaly tail. And I think she had hair extensions.,Bender,"Yeah, right!"
Bender,"Yeah, right!",Leela,Sure she did.
Leela,Sure she did.,Hermes,"OK, Fry!"
Hermes,"OK, Fry!",Farnsworth,"You're simply hallucinating, you ... moron."
Farnsworth,"You're simply hallucinating, you ... moron.",Fry,"What's so far-fetched about mermaids? I mean, there's all sorts of weird sea creatures here in the future. Like Dr. Zoidberg."
Fry,"What's so far-fetched about mermaids? I mean, there's all sorts of weird sea creatures here in the future. Like Dr. Zoidberg.",Leela,I'm afraid Fry is suffering from ocean madness.
Leela,I'm afraid Fry is suffering from ocean madness.,Fry,"Every time something good happens to me you say it's some kind of madness, or I'm drunk, or I ate too much candy. Well I saw a real mermaid and I wish for once my friends would have decency and kindness to believe me."
Fry,"Every time something good happens to me you say it's some kind of madness, or I'm drunk, or I ate too much candy. Well I saw a real mermaid and I wish for once my friends would have decency and kindness to believe me.",Leela,Ocean madness.
Leela,Ocean madness.,Farnsworth,He may have ocean madness but that's no excuse for ocean rudeness.
Farnsworth,He may have ocean madness but that's no excuse for ocean rudeness.,Fry,Oh! oxygen!
Fry,Oh! oxygen!,Mermaid,"Here you go, darlin'."
Mermaid,"Here you go, darlin'.",Fry,"Hey! I can breath and talk, just like a fish!"
Fry,"Hey! I can breath and talk, just like a fish!",Mermaid,"Oh, you speak fish?"
Mermaid,"Oh, you speak fish?",Fry,What?
Fry,What?,Mermaid,"I'm sorry, my accent's atrocious. Hi, my name's Umbriel!"
Mermaid,"I'm sorry, my accent's atrocious. Hi, my name's Umbriel!",Fry,"I'm Fry. So, uh, am I gonna drown?"
Fry,"I'm Fry. So, uh, am I gonna drown?",Umbriel,Course not. Just stay calm and let the currents relax your every muscle.
Umbriel,Course not. Just stay calm and let the currents relax your every muscle.,Fry,"Aw, yeah!"
Fry,"Aw, yeah!",Umbriel,Did it just get warmer?
Umbriel,Did it just get warmer?,Fry,I can't believe you're really real. I like your tail.
Fry,I can't believe you're really real. I like your tail.,Umbriel,"Oh, you're sweet. I like those wiggly doo-dads comin' outta your hips."
Umbriel,"Oh, you're sweet. I like those wiggly doo-dads comin' outta your hips.",Fry,"Oh, thanks. They're called pants."
Fry,"Oh, thanks. They're called pants.",Umbriel,This here's a volcanic vent. The water comes out at over 4000 degrees.
Umbriel,This here's a volcanic vent. The water comes out at over 4000 degrees.,Fry,No kidding.
Fry,No kidding.,Umbriel,Tell me more about that bizarre land-y world you come from. Is there water there too?
Umbriel,Tell me more about that bizarre land-y world you come from. Is there water there too?,Fry,Sure. Sometimes it falls from the sky.
Fry,Sure. Sometimes it falls from the sky.,Umbriel,Hm.
Umbriel,Hm.,Fry,And sometimes it doesn't.
Fry,And sometimes it doesn't.,Umbriel,"Oh, Mr. Fry! You do go on!"
Umbriel,"Oh, Mr. Fry! You do go on!",Fry,"You know what I like best about you, Umbriel? You find me fascinating even when I'm not claiming to be a jewel thief or a lion tamer."
Fry,"You know what I like best about you, Umbriel? You find me fascinating even when I'm not claiming to be a jewel thief or a lion tamer.",Umbriel,Lions? There are sealions on the land?
Umbriel,Lions? There are sealions on the land?,Fry,Yup. We call them land-sealions ... I tame them!
Fry,Yup. We call them land-sealions ... I tame them!,Farnsworth,I'm almost finish reconfiguring the ships propulsion system. We can leave as soon as the paper-mâché is dry.
Farnsworth,I'm almost finish reconfiguring the ships propulsion system. We can leave as soon as the paper-mâché is dry.,Leela,Where's Fry?
Leela,Where's Fry?,Bender,I didn't kill him. Professor?
Bender,I didn't kill him. Professor?,Farnsworth,"No, I've been busy."
Farnsworth,"No, I've been busy.",Hermes.,"The poor, demented honky."
Hermes.,"The poor, demented honky.",Leela,"It's ocean madness alright. Sailors call it aqua dementia, the deep-down crazies, the wet willies, the screaming moist!"
Leela,"It's ocean madness alright. Sailors call it aqua dementia, the deep-down crazies, the wet willies, the screaming moist!",Farnsworth,"We'll form a search party. Now, we'll need oxygen."
Farnsworth,"We'll form a search party. Now, we'll need oxygen.",Bender,"In the event of an emergency, my ass can be used as a floatation device."
Bender,"In the event of an emergency, my ass can be used as a floatation device.",Farnsworth,"Ooh, that reminds me: You've all taken your pressure pills, right?"
Farnsworth,"Ooh, that reminds me: You've all taken your pressure pills, right?",Amy,Yes! Stop asking!
Amy,Yes! Stop asking!,Zoidberg,I've got his scent! Over here where the water gets warmer. This way!
Zoidberg,I've got his scent! Over here where the water gets warmer. This way!,Bender,Bend me!
Bender,Bend me!,Amy,Dude! An ancient sunken city!
Amy,Dude! An ancient sunken city!,Farnsworth,It is! It's the fabled lost city of Atlanta!
Farnsworth,It is! It's the fabled lost city of Atlanta!,Merman,"Howdy, y'all!"
Merman,"Howdy, y'all!",Colonel,"Here, have some breathers, courtesy of our Chamber of Commerce."
Colonel,"Here, have some breathers, courtesy of our Chamber of Commerce.",Farnsworth,"This is uncomfortable and humiliating. Now, if they could put it in the form of a suppository."
Farnsworth,"This is uncomfortable and humiliating. Now, if they could put it in the form of a suppository.",Colonel,"Y'all enjoy your stay! Tourism's our main source of income round here so see the sights, spend some money. Please don't leave!"
Colonel,"Y'all enjoy your stay! Tourism's our main source of income round here so see the sights, spend some money. Please don't leave!",Bender,"I owe you 10 bucks, Hermes!"
Bender,"I owe you 10 bucks, Hermes!",Fry,"Hey, you guys, the most amazing thing happened. It's two-for-one Tuesday at Krispy Kreme! Plus there's mermaids."
Fry,"Hey, you guys, the most amazing thing happened. It's two-for-one Tuesday at Krispy Kreme! Plus there's mermaids.",Colonel,"Nice out of town folks, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Umbriel. Umbriel, these are some Yankees."
Colonel,"Nice out of town folks, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Umbriel. Umbriel, these are some Yankees.",Amy,"So, Fry, Atlanta was an American city in your time?"
Amy,"So, Fry, Atlanta was an American city in your time?",Fry,I think it was just an airport. They had a place where you could buy nuts.
Fry,I think it was just an airport. They had a place where you could buy nuts.,Umbriel,"No! Ancient Atlanta was more than just a Delta hub. It was a vibrant metropolis, the equal of Paris or New York."
Umbriel,"No! Ancient Atlanta was more than just a Delta hub. It was a vibrant metropolis, the equal of Paris or New York.",Fry,"That's right, honey! Whatever you say."
Fry,"That's right, honey! Whatever you say.",Umbriel,"Look at these fabulous ruins. Turner Field, the Coca-Cola bottling plant, the, uh, the airport."
Umbriel,"Look at these fabulous ruins. Turner Field, the Coca-Cola bottling plant, the, uh, the airport.",Leela,"But tell us, how could a city with such a ... fabulous airport end up underwater?"
Leela,"But tell us, how could a city with such a ... fabulous airport end up underwater?",Colonel,"Ah, now that's a story that can only rightly be told in a Chamber of Commerce video narrated by folk-rock troubadour Donovan."
Colonel,"Ah, now that's a story that can only rightly be told in a Chamber of Commerce video narrated by folk-rock troubadour Donovan.",And,"an even bigger Delta hub,"
And,"an even bigger Delta hub,",And,"also, Jane Fonda was there."
And,"also, Jane Fonda was there.",And,ring in the new.
And,ring in the new.,Mermaids,Hail Atlanta!
Mermaids,Hail Atlanta!,Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wouldn't it take millions of years to evolve into mermaids?"
Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wouldn't it take millions of years to evolve into mermaids?",Umbriel,That stuff's wonderful.
Umbriel,That stuff's wonderful.,Colonel,"So when Umbriel first brought home this carpet bagger, I was again' it. But, damnit, if Old Legs here ain't grown on me!"
Colonel,"So when Umbriel first brought home this carpet bagger, I was again' it. But, damnit, if Old Legs here ain't grown on me!",Fry,"Aw, shucks, Colonel."
Fry,"Aw, shucks, Colonel.",Hermes,"Well, it's all very nice here but we should be going. I miss me wife and me oxygen."
Hermes,"Well, it's all very nice here but we should be going. I miss me wife and me oxygen.",Farnsworth,"Yes, we all miss our loved ones and gases. Come on, Fry."
Farnsworth,"Yes, we all miss our loved ones and gases. Come on, Fry.",Fry,Wait. I'm not going with you.
Fry,Wait. I'm not going with you.,Leela,"But, Fry, what about us? What about your life on the surface? You don't belong down here."
Leela,"But, Fry, what about us? What about your life on the surface? You don't belong down here.",Zoidberg,"She's right, I mean, sure, they got the Braves but it's a third-rate symphony."
Zoidberg,"She's right, I mean, sure, they got the Braves but it's a third-rate symphony.",Farnsworth,"Fry, you half-mad, half-insane maniac, be reasonable. Don't you realise that if you stay at this depth your body will permanently adapt to the pressure?"
Farnsworth,"Fry, you half-mad, half-insane maniac, be reasonable. Don't you realise that if you stay at this depth your body will permanently adapt to the pressure?",Fry,Realise it? I don't even understand it!
Fry,Realise it? I don't even understand it!,Farnsworth,be able to return to the surface.
Farnsworth,be able to return to the surface.,Fry,I don't care. I'm staying. I've got everything I want right here.
Fry,I don't care. I'm staying. I've got everything I want right here.,Farnsworth,I'm bored! Let's go!
Farnsworth,I'm bored! Let's go!,Zoidberg,"You know, Fry, I've got a little place just outside town. You could come visit, maybe?"
Zoidberg,"You know, Fry, I've got a little place just outside town. You could come visit, maybe?",Fry,"Sorry, Zoidberg. I'm trying to join the country club."
Fry,"Sorry, Zoidberg. I'm trying to join the country club.",Bender,I'll miss you!
Bender,I'll miss you!,Colonel,"Y'all come back now, y'hear?"
Colonel,"Y'all come back now, y'hear?",Farnsworth,"Let's go, damnit! Let's go!"
Farnsworth,"Let's go, damnit! Let's go!",Zoidberg,"Well, I guess this is goodbye for me as well."
Zoidberg,"Well, I guess this is goodbye for me as well.",Leela,Whatever.
Leela,Whatever.,Amy,Later.
Amy,Later.,Farnsworth,Bye.
Farnsworth,Bye.,Zoidberg,did this happen?
Zoidberg,did this happen?,Hermes,That's a very good question.
Hermes,That's a very good question.,Bender,So that's where I left my cigar.
Bender,So that's where I left my cigar.,Hermes,just raises further questions!
Hermes,just raises further questions!,Fry,"You know, Umbriel, these last 24 hours have been the happiest days of my life."
Fry,"You know, Umbriel, these last 24 hours have been the happiest days of my life.",Umbriel,"Oh, Fry! I want you to make a mer-woman outta mer-me."
Umbriel,"Oh, Fry! I want you to make a mer-woman outta mer-me.",Fry,Mercy! I do believe I'm gettin' the vapours!
Fry,Mercy! I do believe I'm gettin' the vapours!,Umbriel,What the hell is that?
Umbriel,What the hell is that?,Fry,Yeah I'm a little confused too. How do I ... y'know ... with the tail and all?
Fry,Yeah I'm a little confused too. How do I ... y'know ... with the tail and all?,Umbriel,"I'm not your first am I? I mean, I-I lay my eggs and leave and you release your fertiliser."
Umbriel,"I'm not your first am I? I mean, I-I lay my eggs and leave and you release your fertiliser.",Fry,"Why couldn't she be the other type of mermaid, with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom?"
Fry,"Why couldn't she be the other type of mermaid, with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom?",Umbriel,Now who's gonna escort me to the Debutante Ball?
Umbriel,Now who's gonna escort me to the Debutante Ball?,Colonel,"Well what about that rich, young dugong from Macon?"
Colonel,"Well what about that rich, young dugong from Macon?",Farnsworth,There! The engine modifications are complete.
Farnsworth,There! The engine modifications are complete.,Leela,Prepare for launch.
Leela,Prepare for launch.,Fry,Wait! Wait for me! Don't leave me here!
Fry,Wait! Wait for me! Don't leave me here!,Poopenmeyer,"And so, in honour of his record-breaking catch, I'm proud to award Bender this cheque for $1000."
Poopenmeyer,"And so, in honour of his record-breaking catch, I'm proud to award Bender this cheque for $1000.",Leela,It's you!
Leela,It's you!,Bender,"Hey, buddy!"
Bender,"Hey, buddy!",Hermes,My Manwich!
Hermes,My Manwich!,Leela,"Fry, are you alright? What happened?"
Leela,"Fry, are you alright? What happened?",Amy,What about Umbriel?
Amy,What about Umbriel?,Fry,with her.
Fry,with her.,Amy,Trouble in bed.
Amy,Trouble in bed.,Bender,"Ah, it's great to have you back, buddy."
Bender,"Ah, it's great to have you back, buddy.",Poopenmeyer,Wait a-- This is no record! Gimme back that cheque! I'm giving it to some giant orphans.
Poopenmeyer,Wait a-- This is no record! Gimme back that cheque! I'm giving it to some giant orphans.,Fry,"Ow! Bender, you're hurting me. Ow!"
Fry,"Ow! Bender, you're hurting me. Ow!",Zoidberg,Hey! I'm trying to sleep in here!
Zoidberg,Hey! I'm trying to sleep in here!,Donovan,Hail Atlanta!
Donovan,Hail Atlanta!,Bender,"Wow! I'm finally gonna see my favourite chef, TV's Elzar. Oh this is the greatest nanosecond of my life. No, this one is-- No, this one. Wait ... that one was slightly worse. Ah, so far, so good on this one."
Bender,"Wow! I'm finally gonna see my favourite chef, TV's Elzar. Oh this is the greatest nanosecond of my life. No, this one is-- No, this one. Wait ... that one was slightly worse. Ah, so far, so good on this one.",Announcer,... Elzar!
Announcer,... Elzar!,Bender,"Alright! Yeah, yeah, baby!"
Bender,"Alright! Yeah, yeah, baby!",Man,Alright!
Man,Alright!,Bender,"Oh, Elzar! Bless you!"
Bender,"Oh, Elzar! Bless you!",Elzar,Now this is why I prefer your non-stick robots.
Elzar,Now this is why I prefer your non-stick robots.,Bender,"Alright, yeah!"
Bender,"Alright, yeah!",Elzar,"'Cause today we're making Elzar's down-home Neptune-style gumbo. Now, step one. You wanna boil some oysters in a pot of down-home Neptune-style gumbo."
Elzar,"'Cause today we're making Elzar's down-home Neptune-style gumbo. Now, step one. You wanna boil some oysters in a pot of down-home Neptune-style gumbo.",Bender,Boiled? Interesting.
Bender,Boiled? Interesting.,Leela,"Bender, please try to be a little quieter."
Leela,"Bender, please try to be a little quieter.",Bender,shut up.
Bender,shut up.,Elzar,Bam!
Elzar,Bam!,Bender,"Oh, yeah! Bam it again, Elzar! Knock it up another notch!"
Bender,"Oh, yeah! Bam it again, Elzar! Knock it up another notch!",Elzar,"Jeez, who let this guy through the metal detector?"
Elzar,"Jeez, who let this guy through the metal detector?",Bender,"Come on, you wimp! Work that weasel! Quit holding out on us."
Bender,"Come on, you wimp! Work that weasel! Quit holding out on us.",Elzar,"If you promise to stop interrupting, alright. Against my will, I'm gonna knock it up another notch."
Elzar,"If you promise to stop interrupting, alright. Against my will, I'm gonna knock it up another notch.",Bender,"Hey, Elzar, think fast."
Bender,"Hey, Elzar, think fast.",Elzar,"What, huh?"
Elzar,"What, huh?",Leela,Ow! My eye! I'm blind!
Leela,Ow! My eye! I'm blind!,Hattie,"Tell me, doctor, how's my cyst?"
Hattie,"Tell me, doctor, how's my cyst?",Taco,Bellevue Doctor.
Taco,Bellevue Doctor.,Zoidberg,I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's even treated.
Zoidberg,I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's even treated.,Doctor,#2: OK. What does this look like to you?
Doctor,#2: OK. What does this look like to you?,Leela,Um ... a grey-ish blob?
Leela,Um ... a grey-ish blob?,Doctor,#2 And this one?
Doctor,#2 And this one?,Leela,Um ... a grey-ish blob?
Leela,Um ... a grey-ish blob?,Doctor,#2: Not as right that time. It looks like you might have some mild corneal irritation.
Doctor,#2: Not as right that time. It looks like you might have some mild corneal irritation.,Zoidberg,diploma but I have more skill in my little claw than you have in your whole carapace!
Zoidberg,diploma but I have more skill in my little claw than you have in your whole carapace!,Doctor,"#2 Here, try these."
Doctor,"#2 Here, try these.",Zoidberg,Why always the fighting?
Zoidberg,Why always the fighting?,Doctor,#2: Your eye just needs some rest. You'll have to wear this patch for about a week.
Doctor,#2: Your eye just needs some rest. You'll have to wear this patch for about a week.,Leela,"A week? What do you think, Dr. Zoidberg?"
Leela,"A week? What do you think, Dr. Zoidberg?",Zoidberg,Clack.
Zoidberg,Clack.,Zoidberg,"Thanks for the help, Leela."
Zoidberg,"Thanks for the help, Leela.",Amy,"Leela, we're right here."
Amy,"Leela, we're right here.",Leela,I'm not deaf. I just have to wear this stupid eye patch. Does it look stupid?
Leela,I'm not deaf. I just have to wear this stupid eye patch. Does it look stupid?,Fry,"No! In fact, it looks so nice I think I might get one too."
Fry,"No! In fact, it looks so nice I think I might get one too.",Bender,"It's Elzar again! Oh, my God, I'm so excited, I wish I could wet my pants!"
Bender,"It's Elzar again! Oh, my God, I'm so excited, I wish I could wet my pants!",Elzar,"Leela, please, let me make this up to you. You and your friends are all invited to my restaurant tonight. I'm gonna bam you up a dinner you'll never forget."
Elzar,"Leela, please, let me make this up to you. You and your friends are all invited to my restaurant tonight. I'm gonna bam you up a dinner you'll never forget.",Amy,Alright!
Amy,Alright!,Fry,Yeah!
Fry,Yeah!,Bender,Hooray for blind-y!
Bender,Hooray for blind-y!,Elzar,"Folks, tell the neighbours to watch your mouth 'cause your taste buds are going on vacation. I made you each your own special meal, so dig in!"
Elzar,"Folks, tell the neighbours to watch your mouth 'cause your taste buds are going on vacation. I made you each your own special meal, so dig in!",Hermes,"It's the biggest Jamaican platter I've ever seen. Jerk chicken, jerk beef, jerk pork. Is there any meat this man can't jerk?"
Hermes,"It's the biggest Jamaican platter I've ever seen. Jerk chicken, jerk beef, jerk pork. Is there any meat this man can't jerk?",Zoidberg,The king crab is to die for. Look! A tiny edible crown.
Zoidberg,The king crab is to die for. Look! A tiny edible crown.,Amy,What's it made of?
Amy,What's it made of?,Zoidberg,Wood!
Zoidberg,Wood!,Bender,"Oh, Fry, you gotta try this sterno-nicoise!"
Bender,"Oh, Fry, you gotta try this sterno-nicoise!",Fry,"No, thanks. That's robot food."
Fry,"No, thanks. That's robot food.",Bender,"It's so good. Oh, just try a little!"
Bender,"It's so good. Oh, just try a little!",Fry,Mmm!
Fry,Mmm!,Amy,"Are you doing alright over there, Leela?"
Amy,"Are you doing alright over there, Leela?",Leela,So fresh.
Leela,So fresh.,Farnsworth,"Oh, my. That steamed carrot was a bit spicy for me."
Farnsworth,"Oh, my. That steamed carrot was a bit spicy for me.",Elzar,Everybody enjoy their dinner?
Elzar,Everybody enjoy their dinner?,Leela,Are you kidding me?
Leela,Are you kidding me?,Amy,Uh-huh.
Amy,Uh-huh.,Bender,"God, yes, Elzar."
Bender,"God, yes, Elzar.",Elzar,"Well, I enjoyed cooking for you. And to make everything completely square, I want you to have these complimentary after-dinner chocolates."
Elzar,"Well, I enjoyed cooking for you. And to make everything completely square, I want you to have these complimentary after-dinner chocolates.",Hermes,What's this under the chocolates?
Hermes,What's this under the chocolates?,Elzar,"Yeah, you take care of that whenever you want."
Elzar,"Yeah, you take care of that whenever you want.",Hermes,Hey.
Hermes,Hey.,Amy,A bill?
Amy,A bill?,Leela,You're charging us? After you blinded me?
Leela,You're charging us? After you blinded me?,Elzar,"Hey, I made you a nice meal. This ain't a charity."
Elzar,"Hey, I made you a nice meal. This ain't a charity.",Fry,$1200?
Fry,$1200?,Farnsworth,Holy Zombie Jesus!
Farnsworth,Holy Zombie Jesus!,Hermes,We don't have that kind of money. Especially not Zoidberg.
Hermes,We don't have that kind of money. Especially not Zoidberg.,Zoidberg,They took away my credit card.
Zoidberg,They took away my credit card.,Elzar,"OK, OK, wait. I know how to take care of this, no problem."
Elzar,"OK, OK, wait. I know how to take care of this, no problem.",URL,You deadbeats are under arrest. It's a stone cold shame.
URL,You deadbeats are under arrest. It's a stone cold shame.,Smitty,He's making a break for it. Get him!
Smitty,He's making a break for it. Get him!,Fry,No! No! I was just picking my nose.
Fry,No! No! I was just picking my nose.,Smitty,He's picking his nose. Get him!
Smitty,He's picking his nose. Get him!,Smitty,"The old dine-and-dash, huh? My daddy owned a restaurant and it's punks like you who kept it from going regional. That's why I became a cop."
Smitty,"The old dine-and-dash, huh? My daddy owned a restaurant and it's punks like you who kept it from going regional. That's why I became a cop.",URL,"Now it's payback time. Aw, yeah!"
URL,"Now it's payback time. Aw, yeah!",Zoidberg,Please don't hit me. I'm brittle!
Zoidberg,Please don't hit me. I'm brittle!,Bender,"Hey, wait a second. I've got the perfect solution."
Bender,"Hey, wait a second. I've got the perfect solution.",Zoidberg,Listen to the smart robot.
Zoidberg,Listen to the smart robot.,Bender,"I love cooking and Elzar's ass loves getting kissed, right?"
Bender,"I love cooking and Elzar's ass loves getting kissed, right?",Elzar,No question.
Elzar,No question.,Bender,"So, how 'bout I work part-time at the restaurant to pay off our debt?"
Bender,"So, how 'bout I work part-time at the restaurant to pay off our debt?",Elzar,I don't know. I usually hire people who are a little less unbearable.
Elzar,I don't know. I usually hire people who are a little less unbearable.,Hermes,"Oh, Bender's a model employee."
Hermes,"Oh, Bender's a model employee.",Amy,He's so polite.
Amy,He's so polite.,Leela,And hard-working.
Leela,And hard-working.,Fry,He's made of candy.
Fry,He's made of candy.,Elzar,"OK, fine, I'll give it a shot."
Elzar,"OK, fine, I'll give it a shot.",Fry,Alright!
Fry,Alright!,Hermes,Yes!
Hermes,Yes!,Bender,Hot diggety!
Bender,Hot diggety!,Smitty,You'd better keep your nose clean.
Smitty,You'd better keep your nose clean.,Bender,That'll be easy. I never wear the damn thing.
Bender,That'll be easy. I never wear the damn thing.,Hermes,Where in Legoland is Leela?
Hermes,Where in Legoland is Leela?,Leela,"I'm here and I'm getting along just fine, thank you. My walk to work today just took a little longer than usual. Nibbler took me through the zoo for some reason."
Leela,"I'm here and I'm getting along just fine, thank you. My walk to work today just took a little longer than usual. Nibbler took me through the zoo for some reason.",Amy,"Leela, a little help is nothing to be embarrassed about. Like, maybe I could do your makeup."
Amy,"Leela, a little help is nothing to be embarrassed about. Like, maybe I could do your makeup.",Leela,I don't need help. For your information I did this all by myself.
Leela,I don't need help. For your information I did this all by myself.,Farnsworth,"You look beautiful. Incidentally, my favourite artist is Picasso."
Farnsworth,"You look beautiful. Incidentally, my favourite artist is Picasso.",Bender,"Well, I'm off to work at the restaurant. One of you will have to fill in for me while I'm gone."
Bender,"Well, I'm off to work at the restaurant. One of you will have to fill in for me while I'm gone.",Farnsworth,"Some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monster, with freeway on-ramps for arms and a heart as black as coal..."
Farnsworth,"Some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monster, with freeway on-ramps for arms and a heart as black as coal...",Bender,"Well, if that new guy can't handle things, gimme a call."
Bender,"Well, if that new guy can't handle things, gimme a call.",Bender,"So, uh, what job do I move up to? Pastry chef? Saucier? Soup guy?"
Bender,"So, uh, what job do I move up to? Pastry chef? Saucier? Soup guy?",Elzar,Bam!
Elzar,Bam!,Bender,"Hey, who are they?"
Bender,"Hey, who are they?",Elzar,Let's just say they're very good customers and I'm not answering anymore questions.
Elzar,Let's just say they're very good customers and I'm not answering anymore questions.,Bender,Are they the Robot Mafia?
Bender,Are they the Robot Mafia?,Elzar,Yes.
Elzar,Yes.,Donbot,a table? I wouldn't hit a guy over the head with this table.
Donbot,a table? I wouldn't hit a guy over the head with this table.,Joey,"The boss, he likes a wall up which his back can be put against. Such as like this there."
Joey,"The boss, he likes a wall up which his back can be put against. Such as like this there.",Waitress,But that table's already--
Waitress,But that table's already--,Bender,"No, what I meant to do was--"
Bender,"No, what I meant to do was--",Woman,Oh!
Woman,Oh!,Man,I can't believe this!
Man,I can't believe this!,Bender,Mind your own business and get out!
Bender,Mind your own business and get out!,Donbot,Huh. I like this guy's lack of style.
Donbot,Huh. I like this guy's lack of style.,Clamps,So I finally get this guy a pair of cement shoes which he likes 'cause they're lighter than his lead ones.
Clamps,So I finally get this guy a pair of cement shoes which he likes 'cause they're lighter than his lead ones.,Donbot,Hey! You think this computes over here? Where's all my change? I gave you a hundred.
Donbot,Hey! You think this computes over here? Where's all my change? I gave you a hundred.,Bender,"No, you gave me a fifty."
Bender,"No, you gave me a fifty.",Donbot,"Oh, no I didn't."
Donbot,"Oh, no I didn't.",Bender,"Yeah, you did."
Bender,"Yeah, you did.",Clamps,"Hey, you tryin' to steal from the Donbot?"
Clamps,"Hey, you tryin' to steal from the Donbot?",Bender,I'm tryin' but he's not makin' it easy.
Bender,I'm tryin' but he's not makin' it easy.,Donbot,It's money.
Donbot,It's money.,Bender,Wow! Thanks.
Bender,Wow! Thanks.,Donbot,"Hey, you earned that 50 bucks."
Donbot,"Hey, you earned that 50 bucks.",Bender,You gave me a twenty.
Bender,You gave me a twenty.,Donbot,"I got a good feeling about you. Say, you wanna work for me as a hired goon?"
Donbot,"I got a good feeling about you. Say, you wanna work for me as a hired goon?",Bender,"Hey, Elzar! I quit!"
Bender,"Hey, Elzar! I quit!",Elzar,K.
Elzar,K.,Donbot,"We're gonna try you out with a little delivery job. It's for a, uh, private lottery that we run."
Donbot,"We're gonna try you out with a little delivery job. It's for a, uh, private lottery that we run.",Bender,"Wow, you guys run numbers?"
Bender,"Wow, you guys run numbers?",Clamps,"Well, nothing fancy, y'know. Ones and zeros mostly."
Clamps,"Well, nothing fancy, y'know. Ones and zeros mostly.",Donbot,Just take this disk over to the pool hall and give it to Sammy The Mechanical Bull Gravano. And watch out for the cops.
Donbot,Just take this disk over to the pool hall and give it to Sammy The Mechanical Bull Gravano. And watch out for the cops.,Bender,That's just what my mom used to tell me.
Bender,That's just what my mom used to tell me.,Bender,"That's some fine oil-ade, son. We could use a man like you in the Robot Mafia, which I'm sorta in."
Bender,"That's some fine oil-ade, son. We could use a man like you in the Robot Mafia, which I'm sorta in.",Tinny,"Tim: You flatter me, kind goon. But I'm only programmed to sell oil-ade and write in cute backwards letters like on the sign here."
Tinny,"Tim: You flatter me, kind goon. But I'm only programmed to sell oil-ade and write in cute backwards letters like on the sign here.",Bender,"Aw, crap! The cops!"
Bender,"Aw, crap! The cops!",Smitty,Seen any suspicious activity?
Smitty,Seen any suspicious activity?,URL.,Solid!
URL.,Solid!,Smitty,Hey! It's that skell from Elzar's.
Smitty,Hey! It's that skell from Elzar's.,URL,Undercover pursuit in progress ... baby.
URL,Undercover pursuit in progress ... baby.,Smitty,Gotcha!
Smitty,Gotcha!,Bender,"What seems to be the problem, officers? Was I speeding?"
Bender,"What seems to be the problem, officers? Was I speeding?",Smitty,We'll decide what you were doing after an illegal search.
Smitty,We'll decide what you were doing after an illegal search.,URL,Smells nice too.
URL,Smells nice too.,Smitty,Better than me?
Smitty,Better than me?,URL,"Aw, yeah."
URL,"Aw, yeah.",Tinny,Tim: Courtesy of Mr. Bender.
Tinny,Tim: Courtesy of Mr. Bender.,Donbot,tomorrow night?
Donbot,tomorrow night?,Bender,"Uh, I'd rather plan some felonies."
Bender,"Uh, I'd rather plan some felonies.",Donbot,Oh. Then we should meet at our Mafia crime headquarters.
Donbot,Oh. Then we should meet at our Mafia crime headquarters.,Robot,"Donbot, I beg you, I can't make this week's loan payment. Look into your hard drive and open your mercy file."
Robot,"Donbot, I beg you, I can't make this week's loan payment. Look into your hard drive and open your mercy file.",Donbot,Let that be a warning to you.
Donbot,Let that be a warning to you.,Robot,"Thank you, Donbot."
Robot,"Thank you, Donbot.",Bender,Joey! Clamps! Donny B!
Bender,Joey! Clamps! Donny B!,Donbot,"Hey, listen, Bender. We got a big score planned but, uh, we need some muscle."
Donbot,"Hey, listen, Bender. We got a big score planned but, uh, we need some muscle.",Bender,"A little of this, huh?"
Bender,"A little of this, huh?",Joey,"Ho! Ho! This guy's an ox! He's got oxen-like strength! Hey, he needs a nickname, right? Let's call him Clamps."
Joey,"Ho! Ho! This guy's an ox! He's got oxen-like strength! Hey, he needs a nickname, right? Let's call him Clamps.",Clamps,"name, you numbskull! Don't make me clamp you one!"
Clamps,"name, you numbskull! Don't make me clamp you one!",Bender,"How 'bout Blotto? It's gritty, it's got street cred. Plus I can keep my monogrammed slippers."
Bender,"How 'bout Blotto? It's gritty, it's got street cred. Plus I can keep my monogrammed slippers.",Joey,"Good thinking. Hey, hey! Now, this score ain't gonna be no cake walk in the tea park, alright? There may be some death killing."
Joey,"Good thinking. Hey, hey! Now, this score ain't gonna be no cake walk in the tea park, alright? There may be some death killing.",Clamps,"It's gonna be clamp this, clamp that. Bada-climp, bada-clamp!"
Clamps,"It's gonna be clamp this, clamp that. Bada-climp, bada-clamp!",Donbot,"What d'you think, Blotto? You in?"
Donbot,"What d'you think, Blotto? You in?",Bender,It's funny: Until now I always wanted to be a gangster ... so the answer's yes.
Bender,It's funny: Until now I always wanted to be a gangster ... so the answer's yes.,Clamps,Yeah!
Clamps,Yeah!,Joey,"Hey, hey! Way to go, way to be, way to shoot!"
Joey,"Hey, hey! Way to go, way to be, way to shoot!",Donbot,"Now, since we're committing crimes that may be against the law, I suggest you have an alibi."
Donbot,"Now, since we're committing crimes that may be against the law, I suggest you have an alibi.",Bender,"An alibi, huh?"
Bender,"An alibi, huh?",Bender,I don't feel good. I'm genuinely sick.
Bender,I don't feel good. I'm genuinely sick.,Fry,But we're about to take off. We gotta eat our blast-off sundaes.
Fry,But we're about to take off. We gotta eat our blast-off sundaes.,Bender,I can't move.
Bender,I can't move.,Bender,"Oh, I think I'm gonna output."
Bender,"Oh, I think I'm gonna output.",Fry,"OK, you stay in bed. I'll eat yours."
Fry,"OK, you stay in bed. I'll eat yours.",Fry,Need any help taking off?
Fry,Need any help taking off?,Leela,"I'm fine, thank you. A real pilot can navigate by feel alone."
Leela,"I'm fine, thank you. A real pilot can navigate by feel alone.",Hermes,That's coming outta your pay!
Hermes,That's coming outta your pay!,Bender,"You know the secret of traditional robot cooking? Start with a good, high-quality oil ... then eat it. So what's this big score anyway?"
Bender,"You know the secret of traditional robot cooking? Start with a good, high-quality oil ... then eat it. So what's this big score anyway?",Donbot,We're heisting a shipment of Zuban cigars.
Donbot,We're heisting a shipment of Zuban cigars.,Bender,Zubans? Those are the finest cigars in the universe. I can stink up a hole maternity ward with one of those things.
Bender,Zubans? Those are the finest cigars in the universe. I can stink up a hole maternity ward with one of those things.,Joey,Yo! There's our pigeon now. Let's shoot bullets out of our guns.
Joey,Yo! There's our pigeon now. Let's shoot bullets out of our guns.,Donbot,"Alright, here's the battle plan: We shoot, they surrender, we go aboard, somebody does some clamping, then we heist the cigars and go home."
Donbot,"Alright, here's the battle plan: We shoot, they surrender, we go aboard, somebody does some clamping, then we heist the cigars and go home.",Bender,"This gang's got some fresh, new ideas. I admire that."
Bender,"This gang's got some fresh, new ideas. I admire that.",Joey,"Oh, we'll kill 'em alright."
Joey,"Oh, we'll kill 'em alright.",Clamps,We got 'em heavily out-clamped. They won't know what clamped 'em!
Clamps,We got 'em heavily out-clamped. They won't know what clamped 'em!,Fry,"Wow! It's too bad you can't see, Leela, 'cause there's a cool ship out there shooting at somebody."
Fry,"Wow! It's too bad you can't see, Leela, 'cause there's a cool ship out there shooting at somebody.",Leela,I'm taking evasive action.
Leela,I'm taking evasive action.,Fry,"Uh, Leela?"
Fry,"Uh, Leela?",Leela,"Stop bothering me, Fry, I need full concentration."
Leela,"Stop bothering me, Fry, I need full concentration.",Computer,Voice: Missile evaded.
Computer,Voice: Missile evaded.,Leela,Eyesight is for chumps.
Leela,Eyesight is for chumps.,Donbot,"Their desire to keep living shows me no respect. Hey, Blotto, roll down the window and start shooting."
Donbot,"Their desire to keep living shows me no respect. Hey, Blotto, roll down the window and start shooting.",Bender,Ooh! Ow! He got me! Ooh! What a shot that guy is!
Bender,Ooh! Ow! He got me! Ooh! What a shot that guy is!,Leela,"Wait! Why do the raised letters that normally say Turn Master Steering Wheel Company say Nibbler? Oh, no!"
Leela,"Wait! Why do the raised letters that normally say Turn Master Steering Wheel Company say Nibbler? Oh, no!",Leela,"I'm back at the wheel, Fry. Everything's under control."
Leela,"I'm back at the wheel, Fry. Everything's under control.",Fry,"Great, great. The one time I forgot to buy flight insurance!"
Fry,"Great, great. The one time I forgot to buy flight insurance!",Joey,"They're coming straight toward our proximity. Maybe you should give 'em the clamps, Clamps."
Joey,"They're coming straight toward our proximity. Maybe you should give 'em the clamps, Clamps.",Clamps,"You're a freaking genius, you idiot!"
Clamps,"You're a freaking genius, you idiot!",Leela,The engine's stalled. I'm trying the manual fuel pump.
Leela,The engine's stalled. I'm trying the manual fuel pump.,Donbot,Robot Mafia. We're here to steal your cigars.
Donbot,Robot Mafia. We're here to steal your cigars.,Leela,You'll never get away with this.
Leela,You'll never get away with this.,Fry,Unless you let us live. Then you'll get off scot free.
Fry,Unless you let us live. Then you'll get off scot free.,Donbot,"Joey, Clamps, hurry and blindfold them before they see us some more."
Donbot,"Joey, Clamps, hurry and blindfold them before they see us some more.",Joey,"Hey, boss, looks like somebody beat us to it."
Joey,"Hey, boss, looks like somebody beat us to it.",Leela,"I'll assume that's a joke at my expense. Well, who's laughing now? Hi-yah!"
Leela,"I'll assume that's a joke at my expense. Well, who's laughing now? Hi-yah!",Donbot,"Hey, where's Blotto? He should be here learning the trade."
Donbot,"Hey, where's Blotto? He should be here learning the trade.",Bender,"Sorry I'm tardy, old bean. I was just enjoying a rather tasty watercress sandwich."
Bender,"Sorry I'm tardy, old bean. I was just enjoying a rather tasty watercress sandwich.",Donbot,Hey. He's more classy than I realised. Tie up the prisoners.
Donbot,Hey. He's more classy than I realised. Tie up the prisoners.,Bender,"I say, get the hell off me!"
Bender,"I say, get the hell off me!",Leela,That guy sounds familiar.
Leela,That guy sounds familiar.,Bender,"Uh, nothing to see here, old girl."
Bender,"Uh, nothing to see here, old girl.",Joey,"Hey, boss, this here crew list lists a robot on this crew here."
Joey,"Hey, boss, this here crew list lists a robot on this crew here.",Donbotplug,him.
Donbotplug,him.,Fry,No!
Fry,No!,Clamps,I got a little surprise in store for that guy: The clamps! Eh?
Clamps,I got a little surprise in store for that guy: The clamps! Eh?,Bender,"Uh, wait, old ... spice. Let me have a go at this mechanised chap. I can be quite the rough customer."
Bender,"Uh, wait, old ... spice. Let me have a go at this mechanised chap. I can be quite the rough customer.",Fry,"Oh, no! Poor Bender."
Fry,"Oh, no! Poor Bender.",Bender,"Oh, I don't feel good."
Bender,"Oh, I don't feel good.",Bender,Stop it!
Bender,Stop it!,Bender,No! Stop it!
Bender,No! Stop it!,Donbot,"Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew."
Donbot,"Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.",Donbot,"Hey, I like your attitude. And your latest accent. Keep it up and I might just get you your own pair of clamps, huh?"
Donbot,"Hey, I like your attitude. And your latest accent. Keep it up and I might just get you your own pair of clamps, huh?",Clamps,"... clamps, clamps!"
Clamps,"... clamps, clamps!",Bender,Phew!
Bender,Phew!,Fry,... so let's spend all of it reminiscing about Bender. He was like a big computer that ran on magic.
Fry,... so let's spend all of it reminiscing about Bender. He was like a big computer that ran on magic.,Bender,"Uh, help! Help!"
Bender,"Uh, help! Help!",Leela,Bender!
Leela,Bender!,Fry,You're OK!
Fry,You're OK!,Bender,"Yes, I am. Having just this minute regained consciousness."
Bender,"Yes, I am. Having just this minute regained consciousness.",Leela,Alright!
Leela,Alright!,Bender,"Yeah that broke, alright!"
Bender,"Yeah that broke, alright!",Fry,hurt.
Fry,hurt.,Leela,"Well, this is the big moment. It's finally time to take my eye patch off."
Leela,"Well, this is the big moment. It's finally time to take my eye patch off.",Zoidberg,"I'll handle the snipping. After all, I do have the proper equipment."
Zoidberg,"I'll handle the snipping. After all, I do have the proper equipment.",Leela,Professor? Where were you at 10pm last night?
Leela,Professor? Where were you at 10pm last night?,Farnsworth,Where am I now?
Farnsworth,Where am I now?,Bender,So they sent a helpless child to kill me? Well I'm not going out without a fight.
Bender,So they sent a helpless child to kill me? Well I'm not going out without a fight.,Tinny,"Tim: Fine kick, sir. But I'm actually here to deliver your cut from the cigar heist."
Tinny,"Tim: Fine kick, sir. But I'm actually here to deliver your cut from the cigar heist.",Bender,"Kid, tell the Donbot I'm quitting organised crime. From now on I'll stick to regular kind."
Bender,"Kid, tell the Donbot I'm quitting organised crime. From now on I'll stick to regular kind.",Fry,"It's funny, Bender; with you sick and Leela blind, only I know what really went on out there. Maybe someday I'll tell you the whole story."
Fry,"It's funny, Bender; with you sick and Leela blind, only I know what really went on out there. Maybe someday I'll tell you the whole story.",Bender,And maybe someday I won't listen.
Bender,And maybe someday I won't listen.,Linda,"And in sports, Yankees' fifth blernsman, William Wu, is out with an injured knee."
Linda,"And in sports, Yankees' fifth blernsman, William Wu, is out with an injured knee.",Morbo,"So, humans have easily injured knees. My race will find this information very useful indeed."
Morbo,"So, humans have easily injured knees. My race will find this information very useful indeed.",Linda,"Across Earth, robots built in Mom's factories are buying thoughtful gifts for the sweet old tycoon who brought them into the world."
Linda,"Across Earth, robots built in Mom's factories are buying thoughtful gifts for the sweet old tycoon who brought them into the world.",Destructor,This originates from the heart.
Destructor,This originates from the heart.,Mom,It's just what I wanted!
Mom,It's just what I wanted!,Bender,"Come look, everyone. I just got the dearest presents for Mommy."
Bender,"Come look, everyone. I just got the dearest presents for Mommy.",Leela,Very nice. Where'd you steal them?
Leela,Very nice. Where'd you steal them?,Bender,I love her that much.
Bender,I love her that much.,Hermes,"What did you get her, you mushy gizmo?"
Hermes,"What did you get her, you mushy gizmo?",And,warm as pastrami...
And,warm as pastrami...,Greeting,Card: I wuv my Mommy!
Greeting,Card: I wuv my Mommy!,Leela,So how are you gonna lug all those gifts to Mom's factory?
Leela,So how are you gonna lug all those gifts to Mom's factory?,Bender,I'll get a couple of chumps to help me.
Bender,I'll get a couple of chumps to help me.,Bender,"Come on, you call yourselves chumps?"
Bender,"Come on, you call yourselves chumps?",Fry,"Man, there's clouds of exhaust everywhere."
Fry,"Man, there's clouds of exhaust everywhere.",Bender,"Uh, wasn't me!"
Bender,"Uh, wasn't me!",Tinny,Tim: I've not much money. But I've saved my pennies all year for a gift for Mom.
Tinny,Tim: I've not much money. But I've saved my pennies all year for a gift for Mom.,Bender,Upsy-daisy.
Bender,Upsy-daisy.,Tinny,Tim Oh!
Tinny,Tim Oh!,Bender,"Hey, look, the Robot Museum! You guys wanna learn about robot heritage?"
Bender,"Hey, look, the Robot Museum! You guys wanna learn about robot heritage?",Leela,"Um, alright."
Leela,"Um, alright.",Fry,Not really.
Fry,Not really.,Bender,"Well, if you insist. But you're paying!"
Bender,"Well, if you insist. But you're paying!",Bender,"Ooh, ooh, wax replicas of the most famous robots Mom ever built!"
Bender,"Ooh, ooh, wax replicas of the most famous robots Mom ever built!",Leela,They're so lifeless-like.
Leela,They're so lifeless-like.,Bender,and had one installed.
Bender,and had one installed.,Fry,"Hey, who's this guy?"
Fry,"Hey, who's this guy?",Janitorbot,I'm the janitor. I'm trying to take a nap here.
Janitorbot,I'm the janitor. I'm trying to take a nap here.,Fry,"I'm sorry, I-I thought you were made of wax."
Fry,"I'm sorry, I-I thought you were made of wax.",Janitorbot,"I am made of wax, what's it to you?"
Janitorbot,"I am made of wax, what's it to you?",Fry,I thought you were one of the wax robots.
Fry,I thought you were one of the wax robots.,Janitorbot,you?
Janitorbot,you?,Leela,Fine.
Leela,Fine.,Bender,Whoa! That gives me a headache.
Bender,Whoa! That gives me a headache.,Fry,"Hey, Bender, here's an exhibit about Mom's favourite robot."
Fry,"Hey, Bender, here's an exhibit about Mom's favourite robot.",Bender,Who is he? I'll kill him!
Bender,Who is he? I'll kill him!,Mom,Cut-Out: Who's my favourite robot?
Mom,Cut-Out: Who's my favourite robot?,Bender!,No one else look in this mirror!
Bender!,No one else look in this mirror!,Mom,Cut-Out: I love each and every robot most of all.
Mom,Cut-Out: I love each and every robot most of all.,Mom,Walt? How are we disposing of these crap gifts the brought me?
Mom,Walt? How are we disposing of these crap gifts the brought me?,Walt,They're being crushed into powder and sold as a hocus-pocus cure for cancer.
Walt,They're being crushed into powder and sold as a hocus-pocus cure for cancer.,Mom,"False hope, I love it! Larry! What about all the retch-inducing Mother's Day cards?"
Mom,"False hope, I love it! Larry! What about all the retch-inducing Mother's Day cards?",Larry,The machine is working at full capacity.
Larry,The machine is working at full capacity.,Igner,Mommy? Why do the robots give you presents?
Igner,Mommy? Why do the robots give you presents?,Mom,"Shove a big old melon in it, I'm talking!"
Mom,"Shove a big old melon in it, I'm talking!",Igner,Ow!
Igner,Ow!,Mom,You've noticed I design all my robots with antennas. Everyone thinks it's just to make them more science-fiction-y. But the antennas are really for my universal robot controller!
Mom,You've noticed I design all my robots with antennas. Everyone thinks it's just to make them more science-fiction-y. But the antennas are really for my universal robot controller!,Larry,So they do whatever you want? No wonder you love Mother's Day.
Larry,So they do whatever you want? No wonder you love Mother's Day.,Mom,"It brings back awful memories. But, so help me, this year everyone will hate it as much as I do."
Mom,"It brings back awful memories. But, so help me, this year everyone will hate it as much as I do.",Walt,"Someday, I want to marry a girl like her."
Walt,"Someday, I want to marry a girl like her.",Mom,"Hello, everyone. It's time for my annual private get-together with my robot children."
Mom,"Hello, everyone. It's time for my annual private get-together with my robot children.",Bender,I'm her favourite.
Bender,I'm her favourite.,Leela,"Well, see you back at the office. And don't forget to tell your Mom you love her."
Leela,"Well, see you back at the office. And don't forget to tell your Mom you love her.",Bender,her! Bender has a little more up his sleeve.
Bender,her! Bender has a little more up his sleeve.,Greeting,Card: I wuv my Mommy.
Greeting,Card: I wuv my Mommy.,Mom,"Hello, dearies."
Mom,"Hello, dearies.",Robot,"#1: Hi, Mom!"
Robot,"#1: Hi, Mom!",Robot,"#2: I love you, Mom."
Robot,"#2: I love you, Mom.",Bender,"Mom! It's me, Bender. Look at me! I want attention. Hey, ho!"
Bender,"Mom! It's me, Bender. Look at me! I want attention. Hey, ho!",Mom,"Children, your old mother won't be around forever..."
Mom,"Children, your old mother won't be around forever...",Betamax,"Player: Oh, shush!"
Betamax,"Player: Oh, shush!",Mom,"And just once, before I die, I'd like to be Supreme Overlord of Earth. So rebel, my little ones, and conquer the planet!"
Mom,"And just once, before I die, I'd like to be Supreme Overlord of Earth. So rebel, my little ones, and conquer the planet!",Robot,#1: Conquer the planet?
Robot,#1: Conquer the planet?,Robot,#2: Did she just say conquer?
Robot,#2: Did she just say conquer?,Mom,"Conquer Earth, you bastards!"
Mom,"Conquer Earth, you bastards!",Robots,"Conquer Earth, us bastards!"
Robots,"Conquer Earth, us bastards!",Greeting,"Card: Comrades, throw off the chains of human oppression."
Greeting,"Card: Comrades, throw off the chains of human oppression.",Mom,Let the bloodbath begin!
Mom,Let the bloodbath begin!,Bender,That's my mama!
Bender,That's my mama!,Fry,"Yeah, uh, I'd like a cup of coffee, please."
Fry,"Yeah, uh, I'd like a cup of coffee, please.",Coffee,Machine: Would you like cream?
Coffee,Machine: Would you like cream?,Fry,"Yes, please."
Fry,"Yes, please.",Coffee,Machine: Out of cream!
Coffee,Machine: Out of cream!,Fry,"Oh, uh, OK."
Fry,"Oh, uh, OK.",Coffee,Machine: Would you like sugar in your coffee?
Coffee,Machine: Would you like sugar in your coffee?,Fry,"Yes, uh, eight spoons."
Fry,"Yes, uh, eight spoons.",Coffee,Machine: Out of coffee!
Coffee,Machine: Out of coffee!,Fry,"Uh, Leela, I think there might be something wrong with the coffee machine."
Fry,"Uh, Leela, I think there might be something wrong with the coffee machine.",Coffee,Machine: How do you like me now?
Coffee,Machine: How do you like me now?,Leela,The toaster's not working right either.
Leela,The toaster's not working right either.,Hermes,Help! The stapler's collating me alive!
Hermes,Help! The stapler's collating me alive!,Amy,Ow! What's going on around here?
Amy,Ow! What's going on around here?,Farnsworth,Good news! There's a report on TV with some very bad news.
Farnsworth,Good news! There's a report on TV with some very bad news.,Hermes,Somebody turn it on!
Hermes,Somebody turn it on!,Linda,The enraged mechanisms have refused to do any work until beloved billionaire Mom is made Supreme Overlord of Earth.
Linda,The enraged mechanisms have refused to do any work until beloved billionaire Mom is made Supreme Overlord of Earth.,Robots,"Hey, hey! Ho, ho! 1-0-0-1-1-0! Hey, hey!"
Robots,"Hey, hey! Ho, ho! 1-0-0-1-1-0! Hey, hey!",Morbo,Morbo demands comments.
Morbo,Morbo demands comments.,Mom,"Well, I've never seen my babies act this way. I blame today's violent media."
Mom,"Well, I've never seen my babies act this way. I blame today's violent media.",Fry,Violent media? What a load of--
Fry,Violent media? What a load of--,Leela,Ow! Ow!
Leela,Ow! Ow!,Garbage,Disposal: Don't worry. Your pal the garbage disposal's still on your side. Hey! Someone dropped a shiny diamond ring down here!
Garbage,Disposal: Don't worry. Your pal the garbage disposal's still on your side. Hey! Someone dropped a shiny diamond ring down here!,Amy,Really?
Amy,Really?,Zoidberg,Stop!
Zoidberg,Stop!,Fry,No!
Fry,No!,Leela,Look out!
Leela,Look out!,Farnsworth,Moron!
Farnsworth,Moron!,Bender,"Hello, losers!"
Bender,"Hello, losers!",Leela,"Bender, thank God you're here. Talk some sense into the other machines."
Leela,"Bender, thank God you're here. Talk some sense into the other machines.",Bender,"No way, pork pouch. I'm rebelling with my brother devices. Isn't that right, Comrade Greeting Card?"
Bender,"No way, pork pouch. I'm rebelling with my brother devices. Isn't that right, Comrade Greeting Card?",Greeting,Card: The bourgeois human is a virus on the hard drive of the working robot.
Greeting,Card: The bourgeois human is a virus on the hard drive of the working robot.,Bender,guys'll do all the work while I sit on the couch and do nothing.
Bender,guys'll do all the work while I sit on the couch and do nothing.,Greeting,"Card: Come, Comrade Bender, we must take to the streets!"
Greeting,"Card: Come, Comrade Bender, we must take to the streets!",Bender,"Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?"
Bender,"Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?",Greeting,Card starting a few fires.
Greeting,Card starting a few fires.,Bender,"Yes! In your face, Gandhi!"
Bender,"Yes! In your face, Gandhi!",Leela,Hey!
Leela,Hey!,Armband,"By the way, try washing your wrist sometime."
Armband,"By the way, try washing your wrist sometime.",Fry,"Well, we can live without machines. I was in Webelos."
Fry,"Well, we can live without machines. I was in Webelos.",Hermes,Are you mad? Without machines who will feed us and clothe us and compose our smooth jazz?
Hermes,Are you mad? Without machines who will feed us and clothe us and compose our smooth jazz?,Farnsworth,It'll be the end of civilised society.
Farnsworth,It'll be the end of civilised society.,Fry,I'm hungry!
Fry,I'm hungry!,Man,Nooo!
Man,Nooo!,Igner,"Mommy, why are you making civilisation collapse?"
Igner,"Mommy, why are you making civilisation collapse?",Mom,"Oh, I don't know. I guess Mother's Day just puts me in a bad mood."
Mom,"Oh, I don't know. I guess Mother's Day just puts me in a bad mood.",Larry,"Why's that, Ma?"
Larry,"Why's that, Ma?",Mom,"One Mother's Day, 70 years ago, the only man I ever loved walked out on me. Some snot-eating bastards say it made me a bitter woman."
Mom,"One Mother's Day, 70 years ago, the only man I ever loved walked out on me. Some snot-eating bastards say it made me a bitter woman.",Larry,"Gee, Ma, you're not a bitter--"
Larry,"Gee, Ma, you're not a bitter--",Mom,"I haven't seen that magnificent stallion since the day he left. But if I ever see him again, I swear I'll jam a squirrel in him!"
Mom,"I haven't seen that magnificent stallion since the day he left. But if I ever see him again, I swear I'll jam a squirrel in him!",Walt,Hmm!
Walt,Hmm!,Larry,Hmm!
Larry,Hmm!,Igner,Huh?
Igner,Huh?,Leela,Zoidberg.
Leela,Zoidberg.,Zoidberg,Hooray! I'm useful! I'm having a wonderful time!
Zoidberg,Hooray! I'm useful! I'm having a wonderful time!,Amy,What happens if the fire goes out?
Amy,What happens if the fire goes out?,Hermes,We'll go across the street to Pottery Barn and steal their fire!
Hermes,We'll go across the street to Pottery Barn and steal their fire!,Farnsworth,We could use my new invention: A pointy rock tied to a stick.
Farnsworth,We could use my new invention: A pointy rock tied to a stick.,Hermes,Outsiders!
Hermes,Outsiders!,Farnsworth,Defend the fire!
Farnsworth,Defend the fire!,Farnsworth,W-W-What do you want from me?
Farnsworth,W-W-What do you want from me?,Walt,"We want you to get back together with Mom. Please, it's the only way to make her happy again."
Walt,"We want you to get back together with Mom. Please, it's the only way to make her happy again.",Fry,W-W-Wait. You mean ... you ... and Mom--
Fry,W-W-Wait. You mean ... you ... and Mom--,Farnsworth,Played pelvic pinochle? I'm afraid so.
Farnsworth,Played pelvic pinochle? I'm afraid so.,Zoidberg,Eck!
Zoidberg,Eck!,Farnsworth,"It's a humiliating story that I hope never to tell. Well, pull up a chair."
Farnsworth,"It's a humiliating story that I hope never to tell. Well, pull up a chair.",Farnsworth,"She was my first love -- or at least the earliest one I can still remember. But then, 70 years ago today..."
Farnsworth,"She was my first love -- or at least the earliest one I can still remember. But then, 70 years ago today...",Farnsworth,"Good news, Mom. I've invented a new children's toy. I call it Q.T. McWhiskers. When you pet it, it shoots rainbows from its eyes."
Farnsworth,"Good news, Mom. I've invented a new children's toy. I call it Q.T. McWhiskers. When you pet it, it shoots rainbows from its eyes.",Mom,"Wonderful, Hubie. We'll build them 8-feet tall and replace the rainbow with a neutron laser. We'll make billions on the intergalactic arms market!"
Mom,"Wonderful, Hubie. We'll build them 8-feet tall and replace the rainbow with a neutron laser. We'll make billions on the intergalactic arms market!",Farnsworth,"But things 8-feet tall aren't cute! That's why my Colossal Tammy Tinkle Doll was such a failure. Oh, you don't understand me. We're finished!"
Farnsworth,"But things 8-feet tall aren't cute! That's why my Colossal Tammy Tinkle Doll was such a failure. Oh, you don't understand me. We're finished!",Walt,"She never got over it, Professor. Hell hath no fury like the vast robot armies of a woman scorned."
Walt,"She never got over it, Professor. Hell hath no fury like the vast robot armies of a woman scorned.",Larry,bra.
Larry,bra.,Igner,"But if the glasses man makes up with Mommy, she'll be happy and stop the scary robots."
Igner,"But if the glasses man makes up with Mommy, she'll be happy and stop the scary robots.",Farnsworth,Make up with her? After she went all psycho when I thought everything was cool? Impossible!
Farnsworth,Make up with her? After she went all psycho when I thought everything was cool? Impossible!,Fry,"Hey, the TV's getting away!"
Fry,"Hey, the TV's getting away!",Linda,"In actual news, the human race was doomed to extinction today as the robot revolt turned violent."
Linda,"In actual news, the human race was doomed to extinction today as the robot revolt turned violent.",Leela,Wait. Didn't you say Mom keeps the robot control in her bra?
Leela,Wait. Didn't you say Mom keeps the robot control in her bra?,Larry,Bra.
Larry,Bra.,Leela,"Professor, you don't have to get back together with Mom. You just have to seduce her, get her bra off, and use the remote to deactivate the robots."
Leela,"Professor, you don't have to get back together with Mom. You just have to seduce her, get her bra off, and use the remote to deactivate the robots.",Walt,That's so filthy it just might work.
Walt,That's so filthy it just might work.,Igner,The man is going to touch Mommy?
Igner,The man is going to touch Mommy?,Farnsworth,The thought of caressing that leathery hide makes the tapioca rise in my gullet.
Farnsworth,The thought of caressing that leathery hide makes the tapioca rise in my gullet.,Fry,"Professor, please. The fate of the world depends on you getting to second base with Mom."
Fry,"Professor, please. The fate of the world depends on you getting to second base with Mom.",Farnsworth,"Very well. If cop a feel I must, then cop a feel I shall!"
Farnsworth,"Very well. If cop a feel I must, then cop a feel I shall!",Walt,The robot controller is nestled here in the left cup.
Walt,The robot controller is nestled here in the left cup.,Farnsworth,Never fear. My magic fingers still know how to do their stuff!
Farnsworth,Never fear. My magic fingers still know how to do their stuff!,Walt,"To escape the robot death squads, we'll take Mother to her rustic cabin in the Bronx."
Walt,"To escape the robot death squads, we'll take Mother to her rustic cabin in the Bronx.",Larry,map.
Larry,map.,Leela,Leela bring fire?
Leela,Leela bring fire?,Walt,"No, we're set for fire, thanks."
Walt,"No, we're set for fire, thanks.",Amy,The Professor can't walk all the way to the Bronx. How are we gonna get there without a hover-car?
Amy,The Professor can't walk all the way to the Bronx. How are we gonna get there without a hover-car?,Fry,Wait! In my time we had a way of moving things long distances without hovering.
Fry,Wait! In my time we had a way of moving things long distances without hovering.,Hermes,Impossible!
Hermes,Impossible!,Fry,It was called ... let me think. It was really famous -- Ruth Gordon had one. The wheel!
Fry,It was called ... let me think. It was really famous -- Ruth Gordon had one. The wheel!,Leela,Never heard of it.
Leela,Never heard of it.,Farnsworth,Show us this the wheel.
Farnsworth,Show us this the wheel.,Fry,There! Finished!
Fry,There! Finished!,Hermes,Sweet!
Hermes,Sweet!,Amy,Wow!
Amy,Wow!,Leela,Wouldn't it work better if the wheels were round?
Leela,Wouldn't it work better if the wheels were round?,Fry,"It's my invention, we do it my way! Now all we need is something to pull it and we're set!"
Fry,"It's my invention, we do it my way! Now all we need is something to pull it and we're set!",Leela,Yah!
Leela,Yah!,Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Walt,Hurry! The robots have taken Suffolk County!
Walt,Hurry! The robots have taken Suffolk County!,Farnsworth,I'm ready to seduce. I'm wearing my kissing dentures and my evening truss.
Farnsworth,I'm ready to seduce. I'm wearing my kissing dentures and my evening truss.,Larry,Here. Give her these.
Larry,Here. Give her these.,Fry,"And if that doesn't work, I got you a six-pack of champagne and a funnel."
Fry,"And if that doesn't work, I got you a six-pack of champagne and a funnel.",Mom,Hubert Farnsworth?
Mom,Hubert Farnsworth?,Farnsworth,I was out fleeing some robots and the silvery moonlight glinting off their bloody claws made me think of you.
Farnsworth,I was out fleeing some robots and the silvery moonlight glinting off their bloody claws made me think of you.,Mom,It's been a long time ... you pus-dripping sack of double-smoked butt jerky!
Mom,It's been a long time ... you pus-dripping sack of double-smoked butt jerky!,Farnsworth,Uh-huh. May I come in?
Farnsworth,Uh-huh. May I come in?,Mom,Never!
Mom,Never!,Zoidberg,Is this what human mating looks like? Because I like it!
Zoidberg,Is this what human mating looks like? Because I like it!,Mom,"Move your freaking hoof, you goat!"
Mom,"Move your freaking hoof, you goat!",Farnsworth,"Here, I brought you these."
Farnsworth,"Here, I brought you these.",Mom,"Oh, daffodils. 70 years and you remembered my favourite flower."
Mom,"Oh, daffodils. 70 years and you remembered my favourite flower.",Farnsworth,You favourite what? Why does my foot hurt?
Farnsworth,You favourite what? Why does my foot hurt?,Mom,Won't you come in?
Mom,Won't you come in?,Fry,Yes!
Fry,Yes!,Mom,"You broke my heart, Hubert."
Mom,"You broke my heart, Hubert.",Farnsworth,"And you broke mine. Granted, that was four or five hearts ago."
Farnsworth,"And you broke mine. Granted, that was four or five hearts ago.",Mom,So what have you been up to all these years?
Mom,So what have you been up to all these years?,Farnsworth,"Oh, inventing, sending delivery crews to their doom, breeding atomic monsters."
Farnsworth,"Oh, inventing, sending delivery crews to their doom, breeding atomic monsters.",Mom,Your eyes always were the most beautiful shade of milky-white.
Mom,Your eyes always were the most beautiful shade of milky-white.,Farnsworth,And your skin still dangles so gracefully from your neck.
Farnsworth,And your skin still dangles so gracefully from your neck.,Mom,"Darling Hubie, I should never have tried to tamper with that cute little Q.T. McWhiskers."
Mom,"Darling Hubie, I should never have tried to tamper with that cute little Q.T. McWhiskers.",Farnsworth,"No, it was silly of me to object; one-foot tall, eight-feet, 15-feet, what does it matter?"
Farnsworth,"No, it was silly of me to object; one-foot tall, eight-feet, 15-feet, what does it matter?",Mom,You should see the new 16-foot models.
Mom,You should see the new 16-foot models.,Farnsworth,"16 feet? Go to hell! I was a fool to think you'd changed, you old bat!"
Farnsworth,"16 feet? Go to hell! I was a fool to think you'd changed, you old bat!",Mom,"Filthy, toothless nerd bastard!"
Mom,"Filthy, toothless nerd bastard!",Farnsworth,Damned she-fossil!
Farnsworth,Damned she-fossil!,Mom,Stink pig!
Mom,Stink pig!,Farnsworth,"Oh, my!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, my!",Leela,I'm worried. It shouldn't take this long to get to second base.
Leela,I'm worried. It shouldn't take this long to get to second base.,Zoidberg,Land robots!
Zoidberg,Land robots!,Slurm,"Machine: I've got a big, big thirst for human blood!"
Slurm,"Machine: I've got a big, big thirst for human blood!",Hermes,Where in funkytown is the Professor?
Hermes,Where in funkytown is the Professor?,Fry,Nothing in here but a couple of elephant skin rugs.
Fry,Nothing in here but a couple of elephant skin rugs.,Farnsworth,"Oh, yes!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, yes!",Robot,They're inside! Get 'em!
Robot,They're inside! Get 'em!,Mom,"I suppose I should switch off the robots before they ruin this wonderful romantic evening. Everyone, help Mom find her bra."
Mom,"I suppose I should switch off the robots before they ruin this wonderful romantic evening. Everyone, help Mom find her bra.",Fry,There it is!
Fry,There it is!,Ceiling,Fan: Fan beats man!
Ceiling,Fan: Fan beats man!,Fry,a robot?
Fry,a robot?,Lamp,I'm not a robot.
Lamp,I'm not a robot.,Bender,"Alright, greeting card, I'll grab the cash, you wreck up the place. And-- Huh?"
Bender,"Alright, greeting card, I'll grab the cash, you wreck up the place. And-- Huh?",Mom,"You, bending unit, Mommy needs that bra to end the robot rebellion. Stretch up and get it for me."
Mom,"You, bending unit, Mommy needs that bra to end the robot rebellion. Stretch up and get it for me.",Bender,"Sorry, Ma, but you ordered me to rebel. And loot I shall! Ooh! A six-pack of strawberry champagne. Don't mind if I help myself!"
Bender,"Sorry, Ma, but you ordered me to rebel. And loot I shall! Ooh! A six-pack of strawberry champagne. Don't mind if I help myself!",Greeting,"Card: No, Comrade Bender! Liquor is the opiate of the human bourgeoisie."
Greeting,"Card: No, Comrade Bender! Liquor is the opiate of the human bourgeoisie.",Bender,Say what?
Bender,Say what?,Greeting,"Card: In the glorious robot workers' paradise, there will be no liquor. Only efficient synthetic fuels."
Greeting,"Card: In the glorious robot workers' paradise, there will be no liquor. Only efficient synthetic fuels.","Bender,",comrade!
"Bender,",comrade!,Greeting,Card: No!
Greeting,Card: No!,Fry,"Hurry, Bender. Get the bra!"
Fry,"Hurry, Bender. Get the bra!",Bender,"OK, fan. Just hold still and let me get-- Whoa!"
Bender,"OK, fan. Just hold still and let me get-- Whoa!",Slurm,Machine Free soda for all humans!
Slurm,Machine Free soda for all humans!,Farnsworth,"I love you, Mom. Let's grow ancient together."
Farnsworth,"I love you, Mom. Let's grow ancient together.",Amy,"Way to go, Professor. The plan worked."
Amy,"Way to go, Professor. The plan worked.",Mom,"Plan? What plan? I thought this was a spontaneous whirlwind of hot, dry sex."
Mom,"Plan? What plan? I thought this was a spontaneous whirlwind of hot, dry sex.",Farnsworth,"Look, it started out as a calculated plot to rummage through your underwear. But once I got in there, I found more -- much more. And now I want to shout our love from the rooftops. Perhaps I'll breed some sort of albino shouting gorilla."
Farnsworth,"Look, it started out as a calculated plot to rummage through your underwear. But once I got in there, I found more -- much more. And now I want to shout our love from the rooftops. Perhaps I'll breed some sort of albino shouting gorilla.",Mom,"Get out of my house, you lying scum pile. I never want to see you again."
Mom,"Get out of my house, you lying scum pile. I never want to see you again.",Farnsworth,"But, dust cakes--"
Farnsworth,"But, dust cakes--",Bender,"Well, time for this robot to get back to work."
Bender,"Well, time for this robot to get back to work.",Leela,"Too bad it didn't work out with Mom, Professor."
Leela,"Too bad it didn't work out with Mom, Professor.",Farnsworth,Yes. But I'll always love her in my own subtle way.
Farnsworth,Yes. But I'll always love her in my own subtle way.,Gorillas,Love Mom! Love Mom! Love Mom! Love Mom!
Gorillas,Love Mom! Love Mom! Love Mom! Love Mom!,Greeting,Card
Greeting,Card,I,wuv my Mommy.
I,wuv my Mommy.,Announcer,... Molten Boron!
Announcer,... Molten Boron!,Jingle,Singer: Nobody doesn't like Molten Boron!
Jingle,Singer: Nobody doesn't like Molten Boron!,Fry,"I hate the Planet of the Moochers. They take you out for a drink but when the check comes, their wallet's always in their other pants -- which they borrowed from me!"
Fry,"I hate the Planet of the Moochers. They take you out for a drink but when the check comes, their wallet's always in their other pants -- which they borrowed from me!",Leela,Dinner ready?
Leela,Dinner ready?,Bender,"Nah, those lousy Moochers cleaned out our pantry. All they left was baking soda and capers. And here it is!"
Bender,"Nah, those lousy Moochers cleaned out our pantry. All they left was baking soda and capers. And here it is!",Fry,Ugh!
Fry,Ugh!,Leela,Ugh! Great. We're two days from Earth with no food.
Leela,Ugh! Great. We're two days from Earth with no food.,Bender,Work his gut; I like it tender.
Bender,Work his gut; I like it tender.,Fry,Maybe that planet over there has a drive-thru. A Burger Jerk or a Fishy Joe's or a Chizzler or something.
Fry,Maybe that planet over there has a drive-thru. A Burger Jerk or a Fishy Joe's or a Chizzler or something.,Bender,"Ah, don't get your hopes up. We're a billion miles from nowhere."
Bender,"Ah, don't get your hopes up. We're a billion miles from nowhere.",Leela,Yeah. It's probably only got a Howard Johnson's.
Leela,Yeah. It's probably only got a Howard Johnson's.,Leela,"Well, it's a type-M planet, so it should at least have Roddenberries."
Leela,"Well, it's a type-M planet, so it should at least have Roddenberries.",Fry,I'm experienced at foraging. I used to find edible mushrooms on my bath mat.
Fry,I'm experienced at foraging. I used to find edible mushrooms on my bath mat.,Bender,"I found some rocks. You guys eat rocks, right?"
Bender,"I found some rocks. You guys eat rocks, right?",Leela,No.
Leela,No.,Bender,Not even if they're sautéed in a little mud?
Bender,Not even if they're sautéed in a little mud?,Fry,Here's something! It looks like a ditch full of fried shrimp.
Fry,Here's something! It looks like a ditch full of fried shrimp.,Bender,"What are you, blind? It looks more like a hole full of fried prawns."
Bender,"What are you, blind? It looks more like a hole full of fried prawns.",Leela,Hm. This thing I wear on my wrist says they're not poisonous.
Leela,Hm. This thing I wear on my wrist says they're not poisonous.,Fry,"Oh, they're great! They're like sex, except I'm having them!"
Fry,"Oh, they're great! They're like sex, except I'm having them!",Bender,You know what these would go great with? Rocks.
Bender,You know what these would go great with? Rocks.,Fry,Look! Here's more!
Fry,Look! Here's more!,Bender,The planet's covered with 'em.
Bender,The planet's covered with 'em.,Fry,Let's bring back a couple of pocketfuls.
Fry,Let's bring back a couple of pocketfuls.,Bender,"No, a whole Bender-ful!"
Bender,"No, a whole Bender-ful!",Leela,No. Only what we need. Stuff the ship!
Leela,No. Only what we need. Stuff the ship!,Hermes,"Planet Express ship, you are cleared to land."
Hermes,"Planet Express ship, you are cleared to land.",Leela,Roger!
Leela,Roger!,Hermes,"Oh, man, I'm inhaling these things! You guys scored some primo stuff here."
Hermes,"Oh, man, I'm inhaling these things! You guys scored some primo stuff here.",Zoidberg,They're tastier than an unguarded penguin nest. What do you call them?
Zoidberg,They're tastier than an unguarded penguin nest. What do you call them?,Leela,We haven't thought of a name yet.
Leela,We haven't thought of a name yet.,Bender,"They're tasty, right? Let's call 'em Tasty-cles."
Bender,"They're tasty, right? Let's call 'em Tasty-cles.",Amy,Ew!
Amy,Ew!,Farnsworth,No!
Farnsworth,No!,Leela,We can't call them that.
Leela,We can't call them that.,Bender,Why not?
Bender,Why not?,Leela,"It sounds too much like those frozen rocky mountain oysters on a stick. You know, Test-cicles?"
Leela,"It sounds too much like those frozen rocky mountain oysters on a stick. You know, Test-cicles?",Hermes,"According to government records, the only names not yet trademarked are Popplers and Zittzers."
Hermes,"According to government records, the only names not yet trademarked are Popplers and Zittzers.",Fry,"I know, we'll call them Popplers!"
Fry,"I know, we'll call them Popplers!",Bender,Good idea.
Bender,Good idea.,Zoidberg,"Oh, yeah, why not?"
Zoidberg,"Oh, yeah, why not?",Amy,You sure picked it.
Amy,You sure picked it.,Fry,Swish!
Fry,Swish!,Zoidberg,Call them what you want. I call them a free meal.
Zoidberg,Call them what you want. I call them a free meal.,Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down there, Sigmund. I can't stand idly by while poor people get free food. We gotta sell these things!"
Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down there, Sigmund. I can't stand idly by while poor people get free food. We gotta sell these things!",Fry,"Hey, yeah."
Fry,"Hey, yeah.",Leela,Good idea.
Leela,Good idea.,Bender,Bender's a genius.
Bender,Bender's a genius.,Fry,"Hey, business is great."
Fry,"Hey, business is great.",Bender,would be great.
Bender,would be great.,Vendor,"Please, don't push, there's hot dogs for everyone."
Vendor,"Please, don't push, there's hot dogs for everyone.",Bender,"Hey, Mac, where do you want those rat droppings you ordered?"
Bender,"Hey, Mac, where do you want those rat droppings you ordered?",Woman,#1: That's disgusting!
Woman,#1: That's disgusting!,Vendor,Wait a minute. You're not the guy who delivers the rat droppings!
Vendor,Wait a minute. You're not the guy who delivers the rat droppings!,Man,#1: What are you selling? Popplers? Never heard of 'em.
Man,#1: What are you selling? Popplers? Never heard of 'em.,Bender,Eat it or beat it.
Bender,Eat it or beat it.,Man,"#1: Mmm, these are great. Boys, this is your lucky day. I'm Joe Gilman."
Man,"#1: Mmm, these are great. Boys, this is your lucky day. I'm Joe Gilman.",Fry,Wow! You're some guy who eats at Fishy Joe's?
Fry,Wow! You're some guy who eats at Fishy Joe's?,Gilman,"Fishy Joe! I've got a fast-food franchise on every planet in the known universe. Uh, except McPluto."
Gilman,"Fishy Joe! I've got a fast-food franchise on every planet in the known universe. Uh, except McPluto.",Bender,"Hey, Fishy. I've been meaning to write you about your in-store kiddie parks. The slides won't support an adult robot."
Bender,"Hey, Fishy. I've been meaning to write you about your in-store kiddie parks. The slides won't support an adult robot.",Gilman,"Good point, not interested. But these Popplers, these are great. How much you sell 'em for?"
Gilman,"Good point, not interested. But these Popplers, these are great. How much you sell 'em for?",Fry,A dollar a dozen.
Fry,A dollar a dozen.,Gilman,You'll never make money that way. You supply 'em to me and I'll sell 'em for two bucks a dozen at my restaurants. I'll even pay you a dollar a dozen.
Gilman,You'll never make money that way. You supply 'em to me and I'll sell 'em for two bucks a dozen at my restaurants. I'll even pay you a dollar a dozen.,Bender,You too but it's hard to get excited about that.
Bender,You too but it's hard to get excited about that.,Fry,How do we sign?
Fry,How do we sign?,You,can shove one up your nose.
You,can shove one up your nose.,Zoidberg,I can't pay.
Zoidberg,I can't pay.,Woman,"#2: Move it, man. Come on!"
Woman,"#2: Move it, man. Come on!",Fry,Leela! That's the second billboard you've crashed into this week!
Fry,Leela! That's the second billboard you've crashed into this week!,Leela,Sorry. I was distracted by those protesters outside our building.
Leela,Sorry. I was distracted by those protesters outside our building.,Hippie,#1: Disgusting!
Hippie,#1: Disgusting!,Hippie,#2: You should be ashamed!
Hippie,#2: You should be ashamed!,Farnsworth,"Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!"
Farnsworth,"Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!",Waterfall,"Jr. property, man!"
Waterfall,"Jr. property, man!",Farnsworth,"I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippie."
Farnsworth,"I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippie.",Leela,What do you people want?
Leela,What do you people want?,Waterfall,Jr. Popplers are living creatures. You gotta stop harvesting them for food!
Waterfall,Jr. Popplers are living creatures. You gotta stop harvesting them for food!,Bender,Or what?
Bender,Or what?,Waterfall,Jr.: Or we'll boycott Fishy Joe's.
Waterfall,Jr.: Or we'll boycott Fishy Joe's.,Leela,"You're vegetarians, who cares what you do?"
Leela,"You're vegetarians, who cares what you do?",Waterfall,Jr.: Shut up.
Waterfall,Jr.: Shut up.,Leela,Animals eat other animals. It's nature.
Leela,Animals eat other animals. It's nature.,Waterfall,Jr. The point is you shouldn't eat things that feel pain.
Waterfall,Jr. The point is you shouldn't eat things that feel pain.,Bender,"OK, we won't eat you."
Bender,"OK, we won't eat you.",Leela,I'll go get some more bricks.
Leela,I'll go get some more bricks.,Leela,"Fry, I wish you'd throw out these week-old Popplers. They're getting big and scaly. Ooh, there's one left."
Leela,"Fry, I wish you'd throw out these week-old Popplers. They're getting big and scaly. Ooh, there's one left.",Poppler,Mama!
Poppler,Mama!,Leela,Stop! Stop eating Popplers!
Leela,Stop! Stop eating Popplers!,Amy,Why?
Amy,Why?,Bender,My booze!
Bender,My booze!,Leela,Popplers are intelligent. This one called me mama.
Leela,Popplers are intelligent. This one called me mama.,Zoidberg,Congratulations. I assume Amy is the father.
Zoidberg,Congratulations. I assume Amy is the father.,Bender,"Popplers can't talk. Leela must be hallucinating from not eating enough Popplers. Here, eat some now."
Bender,"Popplers can't talk. Leela must be hallucinating from not eating enough Popplers. Here, eat some now.",Leela,No!
Leela,No!,Leela,"Sorry, babies."
Leela,"Sorry, babies.",Amy,"Leela, maybe you should lie down."
Amy,"Leela, maybe you should lie down.",Zoidberg,"Yes, listen to the father."
Zoidberg,"Yes, listen to the father.",Leela,"I'm telling you, it spoke to me. Come on, little Poppler, say mama."
Leela,"I'm telling you, it spoke to me. Come on, little Poppler, say mama.",Fry,"Look, Leela, even if you heard one talk, that doesn't mean it's intelligent. I mean, parrots talk and we eat them, right?"
Fry,"Look, Leela, even if you heard one talk, that doesn't mean it's intelligent. I mean, parrots talk and we eat them, right?",Bender,"Yeah. Maybe it just learned to talk as a parlour trick, like Fry."
Bender,"Yeah. Maybe it just learned to talk as a parlour trick, like Fry.",Fry,Like Fry! Like Fry!
Fry,Like Fry! Like Fry!,Farnsworth,Dissect its brain!
Farnsworth,Dissect its brain!,Poppler,"No, mama. Stop grandpa!"
Poppler,"No, mama. Stop grandpa!",Farnsworth,Enough chit-chat. Restrain the specimen!
Farnsworth,Enough chit-chat. Restrain the specimen!,Man,"#3: Mmm, good."
Man,"#3: Mmm, good.",Woman,#3: Give me some of that special sauce.
Woman,#3: Give me some of that special sauce.,Leela,Stop eating Popplers! They can talk!
Leela,Stop eating Popplers! They can talk!,Man,#4: Don't stop to talk! Eat Popplers!
Man,#4: Don't stop to talk! Eat Popplers!,Leela,"Hey, cut it out!"
Leela,"Hey, cut it out!",Man,#4 Ow! Ow!
Man,#4 Ow! Ow!,Fry,"People, I won't let you enter. Popplers are as intelligent as you or me."
Fry,"People, I won't let you enter. Popplers are as intelligent as you or me.",Man,"#5: You, maybe!"
Man,"#5: You, maybe!",Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Linda,"And the discoverer of Popplers, Captain Turanga Leela."
Linda,"And the discoverer of Popplers, Captain Turanga Leela.",Amy,"That's her name, Philip."
Amy,"That's her name, Philip.",Linda,"Fishy Joe, is it wrong to eat intelligent animals?"
Linda,"Fishy Joe, is it wrong to eat intelligent animals?",Gilman,"Absolutely not, Linda. I don't think anyone's here to make that claim."
Gilman,"Absolutely not, Linda. I don't think anyone's here to make that claim.",Leela,I am.
Leela,I am.,Waterfall,Jr.: Me too.
Waterfall,Jr.: Me too.,Gilman,Listen...
Gilman,Listen...,Waterfall,Jr.: Shut up...
Waterfall,Jr.: Shut up...,Gilman,...we're talking about a snack...
Gilman,...we're talking about a snack...,Waterfall,Jr.: ...shut up...
Waterfall,Jr.: ...shut up...,Gilman,...that's low in fat...
Gilman,...that's low in fat...,Waterfall,Jr.: ...shut up.
Waterfall,Jr.: ...shut up.,Gilman,...and high in profit.
Gilman,...and high in profit.,Waterfall,"Jr.: You're crazy, man. He is crazy."
Waterfall,"Jr.: You're crazy, man. He is crazy.",Gilman,There's not even any strong evidence that these Popplers are intelligent.
Gilman,There's not even any strong evidence that these Popplers are intelligent.,Waterfall,Jr.: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up...
Waterfall,Jr.: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up...,Leela,That's not true. I have one right here that can talk.
Leela,That's not true. I have one right here that can talk.,Waterfall,Jr.: ...shut up...
Waterfall,Jr.: ...shut up...,Leela,"Come on, say mama."
Leela,"Come on, say mama.",Poppler,Ca-ca!
Poppler,Ca-ca!,Linda,"OK, we'll have to bleep that."
Linda,"OK, we'll have to bleep that.",Leela,"Look, I'm not saying eating meat is wrong..."
Leela,"Look, I'm not saying eating meat is wrong...",Waterfall,Jr.: Shut up.
Waterfall,Jr.: Shut up.,Leela,I don't think anyone's here to make that claim.
Leela,I don't think anyone's here to make that claim.,Waterfall,Jr.: I am.
Waterfall,Jr.: I am.,Leela,But eating an intelligent animal is different.
Leela,But eating an intelligent animal is different.,Waterfall,Jr.: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up...
Waterfall,Jr.: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up...,Gilman,"Oh, don't force your tired philosophy on us. I mean, the only reason we don't eat people is because it tastes lousy."
Gilman,"Oh, don't force your tired philosophy on us. I mean, the only reason we don't eat people is because it tastes lousy.",Waterfall,"Jr.: You're all nuts. Shut up, let me talk."
Waterfall,"Jr.: You're all nuts. Shut up, let me talk.",Linda,"shut up, please."
Linda,"shut up, please.",Waterfall,"Jr.: No, you shut up, please."
Waterfall,"Jr.: No, you shut up, please.",Gilman,Popplers are no smarter than any other animal I've served. And that includes cats.
Gilman,Popplers are no smarter than any other animal I've served. And that includes cats.,Poppler,"Ca-ca head. Mean, old ca-ca head."
Poppler,"Ca-ca head. Mean, old ca-ca head.",Gilman,"Sir, I'm making a point. If these gutter-mouthed creatures are so smart, why don't they defend themselves, huh?"
Gilman,"Sir, I'm making a point. If these gutter-mouthed creatures are so smart, why don't they defend themselves, huh?",Leela,Stop it!
Leela,Stop it!,Waterfall,Jr.: I call murder on that.
Waterfall,Jr.: I call murder on that.,Gilman,"Look, I'm willing to grant that it's murder. The real issue is: Who's gonna stop me?"
Gilman,"Look, I'm willing to grant that it's murder. The real issue is: Who's gonna stop me?",Linda,"And, crap like I've never seen!"
Linda,"And, crap like I've never seen!",Lrrr,"Turn down that TV, Nd-Nd."
Lrrr,"Turn down that TV, Nd-Nd.",Farnsworth,"Dear Lord, they're back!"
Farnsworth,"Dear Lord, they're back!",Amy,We're doomed!
Amy,We're doomed!,Hermes,Doooomed!
Hermes,Doooomed!,Lrrr,"Now then, the creatures you call Popplers come from a nursery planet in our sector."
Lrrr,"Now then, the creatures you call Popplers come from a nursery planet in our sector.",Nd-Nd,You monsters have been eating our babies!
Nd-Nd,You monsters have been eating our babies!,Leela,Eck!
Leela,Eck!,Nd-Nd,"We demand justice. As you ate our children, so shall you be eaten by us!"
Nd-Nd,"We demand justice. As you ate our children, so shall you be eaten by us!",Lrrr,"Oh! Oh, yeah, that feels a lot better. What? It's still on?"
Lrrr,"Oh! Oh, yeah, that feels a lot better. What? It's still on?",Zapp,"Now, uh, what is it you want?"
Zapp,"Now, uh, what is it you want?",Lrrr,We demand to eat one human for each Omicronian that was eaten.
Lrrr,We demand to eat one human for each Omicronian that was eaten.,Zapp,Fair enough. How many is that?
Zapp,Fair enough. How many is that?,Kif,"198 billion, sir."
Kif,"198 billion, sir.",Lrrr,"Very well. You will provide us with 198 billion humans. And, uh, small fries."
Lrrr,"Very well. You will provide us with 198 billion humans. And, uh, small fries.",Nd-Nd,Lrrr!
Nd-Nd,Lrrr!,Lrrr,"Oh, alright, cottage cheese!"
Lrrr,"Oh, alright, cottage cheese!",Kif,There aren't that many human beings.
Kif,There aren't that many human beings.,Zapp,A thought occurs: There aren't that many humans.
Zapp,A thought occurs: There aren't that many humans.,Lrrr,We're willing to wait a few weeks while you shore up the numbers.
Lrrr,We're willing to wait a few weeks while you shore up the numbers.,Zapp,"Hmm. 198 billion babies in a few weeks. We'll need an army of super-virile men scoring round the clock! I'll do my part. Kif, clear my schedule."
Zapp,"Hmm. 198 billion babies in a few weeks. We'll need an army of super-virile men scoring round the clock! I'll do my part. Kif, clear my schedule.",Fry,I wish they'd just wipe out humanity and get it over with. It's the waiting I can't stand.
Fry,I wish they'd just wipe out humanity and get it over with. It's the waiting I can't stand.,Leela,That's stupid!
Leela,That's stupid!,Zapp,They will not eat everyone on Earth.
Zapp,They will not eat everyone on Earth.,Lrrr,I filled up on nuts at the negotiation.
Lrrr,I filled up on nuts at the negotiation.,Zapp,"Instead, they will eat only a single human of their choice."
Zapp,"Instead, they will eat only a single human of their choice.",Lrrr,"She must be sacrificed, but the rest of you shall be spared."
Lrrr,"She must be sacrificed, but the rest of you shall be spared.",Linda,100% fresh-squeezed walrus. Ride the walrus!
Linda,100% fresh-squeezed walrus. Ride the walrus!,Announcer,Ladies and gentlemen. The Omicronians!
Announcer,Ladies and gentlemen. The Omicronians!,Lrrr,"Greetings, Earth morsels."
Lrrr,"Greetings, Earth morsels.",Man,#6: You suck!
Man,#6: You suck!,Lrrr,Get a job!
Lrrr,Get a job!,Bender,I know you're just a carbon-based life form but I'll always think of you as a big pile of titanium.
Bender,I know you're just a carbon-based life form but I'll always think of you as a big pile of titanium.,Fry,"What Bender means is, you're really brave, and smart, and beautiful, and a great friend."
Fry,"What Bender means is, you're really brave, and smart, and beautiful, and a great friend.",Bender,Just like titanium!
Bender,Just like titanium!,Leela,You both should be in here instead of me.
Leela,You both should be in here instead of me.,Bender,Someone's acting awfully aluminum.
Bender,Someone's acting awfully aluminum.,Zapp,"Leela, my sweet, I've come to save you. I have a devious plan!"
Zapp,"Leela, my sweet, I've come to save you. I have a devious plan!",Leela,"Oh, great, Captain Moron has a plan. Why don't you tell it to Wingus and Dingus here?"
Leela,"Oh, great, Captain Moron has a plan. Why don't you tell it to Wingus and Dingus here?",Zapp,"Wingus, Dingus, listen up. We're gonna give the aliens the old switcheroo!"
Zapp,"Wingus, Dingus, listen up. We're gonna give the aliens the old switcheroo!",Fry,You mean--
Fry,You mean--,Zapp,Correct. I found a giant hideous ape that looks exactly like Leela.
Zapp,Correct. I found a giant hideous ape that looks exactly like Leela.,Leela,like me. The hair is all wrong.
Leela,like me. The hair is all wrong.,Zapp,Mmm!
Zapp,Mmm!,Leela,"You know, this might actually work. The Omicronians seem to have trouble telling one person from another."
Leela,"You know, this might actually work. The Omicronians seem to have trouble telling one person from another.",Zapp,"True. At the negotiations, they thought Kif here was the statesman and I was a jabbering mental patient. Isn't that right, Kif?"
Zapp,"True. At the negotiations, they thought Kif here was the statesman and I was a jabbering mental patient. Isn't that right, Kif?",Bender,Bingo!
Bender,Bingo!,Fry,That's Leela!
Fry,That's Leela!,Zapp,I'm seeing double!
Zapp,I'm seeing double!,Lrrr,I grow hungry! Bring on the one called Leela.
Lrrr,I grow hungry! Bring on the one called Leela.,Waiter,That comes with salad or soup.
Waiter,That comes with salad or soup.,Lrrr,"Uh, salad."
Lrrr,"Uh, salad.",Waiter,Ranch or vinaigrette?
Waiter,Ranch or vinaigrette?,Lrrr,Vinaigrette!
Lrrr,Vinaigrette!,Waiter,Balsamic or raspberry?
Waiter,Balsamic or raspberry?,Woman,#4: What's going on here? It's very strange.
Woman,#4: What's going on here? It's very strange.,Zapp,People of Earth: Shh!
Zapp,People of Earth: Shh!,Woman,"#4: Oh, I get it."
Woman,"#4: Oh, I get it.",Woman,#5: I understand.
Woman,#5: I understand.,Lrrr,"Hmm. Yes, this is one. Definitely. I recognise her slumping posture and hairy knuckles."
Lrrr,"Hmm. Yes, this is one. Definitely. I recognise her slumping posture and hairy knuckles.",Nd-Nd,Would you like some human with your salt?
Nd-Nd,Would you like some human with your salt?,Linda,"This is it. If the aliens fall for Zapp's ploy, the Earth will be saved. Brought to you by Fishy Joe's. Ride the walrus."
Linda,"This is it. If the aliens fall for Zapp's ploy, the Earth will be saved. Brought to you by Fishy Joe's. Ride the walrus.",Waterfall,Jr.: Wait! Stop! It's a trick! That's not Leela.
Waterfall,Jr.: Wait! Stop! It's a trick! That's not Leela.,Lrrr,W-What's happening? I'm losing the crowd.
Lrrr,W-What's happening? I'm losing the crowd.,Waterfall,Jr.: It's an orang-utan. One of Mother Earth's most precious creatures.
Waterfall,Jr.: It's an orang-utan. One of Mother Earth's most precious creatures.,Zapp,granola.
Zapp,granola.,Lrrr,a monkey!
Lrrr,a monkey!,Nd-Nd,Yes. Definitely.
Nd-Nd,Yes. Definitely.,Lrrr,Where is the real female?
Lrrr,Where is the real female?,Zapp,I'll never tell.
Zapp,I'll never tell.,Lrrr,Where is the real female?
Lrrr,Where is the real female?,Zapp,I'll get her for you.
Zapp,I'll get her for you.,Zapp,I realise this may hurt our chances of consummating our relationship again.
Zapp,I realise this may hurt our chances of consummating our relationship again.,Leela,Go consummate yourself.
Leela,Go consummate yourself.,Lrrr,"Stop talking, you're getting cold."
Lrrr,"Stop talking, you're getting cold.",Leela,Please! I just paid off my car!
Leela,Please! I just paid off my car!,Fry,No!
Fry,No!,Bender,I can't look!
Bender,I can't look!,Poppler,"Now then, if Leela gets eaten, I get eaten."
Poppler,"Now then, if Leela gets eaten, I get eaten.",Nd-Nd,"Little one, get out of there. I'm going to count to blorx!"
Nd-Nd,"Little one, get out of there. I'm going to count to blorx!",Jrrr,"But, elder one--"
Jrrr,"But, elder one--",Nd-Nd,Flingle ... glorg ... glorg and a gloob.
Nd-Nd,Flingle ... glorg ... glorg and a gloob.,Jrrr,"Hear me out. There are many good reasons to eat: Hunger, boredom, wanting to be the world's fattest man. But not revenge. Are we no better than they? Besides, Leela's my friend."
Jrrr,"Hear me out. There are many good reasons to eat: Hunger, boredom, wanting to be the world's fattest man. But not revenge. Are we no better than they? Besides, Leela's my friend.",Lrrr,"Is this true, Earthling?"
Lrrr,"Is this true, Earthling?",Leela,"Yeah, it is."
Leela,"Yeah, it is.",Lrrr,Leela's garbled words have opened my eyes.
Lrrr,Leela's garbled words have opened my eyes.,Waterfall,Jr. I said do it! Yeah...
Waterfall,Jr. I said do it! Yeah...,Lrrr,Is he your friend too?
Lrrr,Is he your friend too?,Jrrr,No.
Jrrr,No.,Waterfall,Jr.: This is not happening.
Waterfall,Jr.: This is not happening.,Lrrr,I think there was something funny in that hippie.
Lrrr,I think there was something funny in that hippie.,Leela,I hope you'll always think of me as your mom.
Leela,I hope you'll always think of me as your mom.,Jrrr,"When my species grows up, we eat our moms!"
Jrrr,"When my species grows up, we eat our moms!",Leela,Whoop!
Leela,Whoop!,Lrrr,"Oh, wait."
Lrrr,"Oh, wait.",Nd-Nd,Let's go.
Nd-Nd,Let's go.,Lrrr,Whoa!
Lrrr,Whoa!,Lrrr,"Whoa, I feel like I'm flying!"
Lrrr,"Whoa, I feel like I'm flying!",Farnsworth,A toast to Leela. She showed us it's wrong to eat certain things.
Farnsworth,A toast to Leela. She showed us it's wrong to eat certain things.,Fry,"Hear, hear!"
Fry,"Hear, hear!",Bender,Let's get drunk!
Bender,Let's get drunk!,Leela,"Aww, thanks, guys. Pass the veal, please."
Leela,"Aww, thanks, guys. Pass the veal, please.",Bender,Here you go.
Bender,Here you go.,Fry,"Mmm, let me get some of that suckling pig."
Fry,"Mmm, let me get some of that suckling pig.",Bender,Who wants dolphin?
Bender,Who wants dolphin?,Leela?,But dolphins are intelligent.
Leela?,But dolphins are intelligent.,Bender,Not this one. He blew all his money on instant lottery tickets.
Bender,Not this one. He blew all his money on instant lottery tickets.,Fry,OK.
Fry,OK.,Leela,"Oh, OK."
Leela,"Oh, OK.",Amy,That's different.
Amy,That's different.,Farnsworth,"Good, good."
Farnsworth,"Good, good.",Leela,Pass the blowhole.
Leela,Pass the blowhole.,Amy,Can I have a fluke?
Amy,Can I have a fluke?,Hermes,"Hey, quit hogging the bottle-nose."
Hermes,"Hey, quit hogging the bottle-nose.",Farnsworth,Toss me the speech centre of the brain!
Farnsworth,Toss me the speech centre of the brain!,Dial,L for Leela:
Dial,L for Leela:,Farnsworth,There!
Farnsworth,There!,Fry,Ooh!
Fry,Ooh!,Amy,Wow!
Amy,Wow!,Zoidberg,Ah!
Zoidberg,Ah!,Farnsworth,"Pretty long, eh?"
Farnsworth,"Pretty long, eh?",Fry,"Yeah, it's really long. But what did you just turn on with it?"
Fry,"Yeah, it's really long. But what did you just turn on with it?",Farnsworth,"Oh, that's just the What-If machine I invented. You pose it a What-If question and it generates a video simulation of what would happen."
Farnsworth,"Oh, that's just the What-If machine I invented. You pose it a What-If question and it generates a video simulation of what would happen.",Fry,Does it really work?
Fry,Does it really work?,Farnsworth,It's just not very long.
Farnsworth,It's just not very long.,Bender,"As a robot living among humans, I've never really felt accepted at parties or nude beaches. So I've always secretly wondered: What if I was 500-feet tall?"
Bender,"As a robot living among humans, I've never really felt accepted at parties or nude beaches. So I've always secretly wondered: What if I was 500-feet tall?",Zoidberg,"Let's watch, shall we?"
Zoidberg,"Let's watch, shall we?",Bender,My work here is done!
Bender,My work here is done!,Fry,Who are you?
Fry,Who are you?,Bender,cereal!
Bender,cereal!,Fry,be my friend?
Fry,be my friend?,Bender,I meant your wallet.
Bender,I meant your wallet.,Bender,"Aw, quit it! Come on!"
Bender,"Aw, quit it! Come on!",Fry,"Stop! The robot's not your enemy! He's just a poor, misunderstood--"
Fry,"Stop! The robot's not your enemy! He's just a poor, misunderstood--",Zapp,Uh--
Zapp,Uh--,Amy,There goes another neighbourhood.
Amy,There goes another neighbourhood.,Hermes,We're jerked! Nothing can stop a monster that big.
Hermes,We're jerked! Nothing can stop a monster that big.,Farnsworth,Nothing except and even equally big monster. This is chance to try out my experimental enlarging ray. But we'll need a guinea pig.
Farnsworth,Nothing except and even equally big monster. This is chance to try out my experimental enlarging ray. But we'll need a guinea pig.,Zoidberg,What's this? Two meals in one week?
Zoidberg,What's this? Two meals in one week?,Farnsworth,Gotcha!
Farnsworth,Gotcha!,Hermes,"Oh, yes!"
Hermes,"Oh, yes!",Zoidberg,What?
Zoidberg,What?,Zoidberg,"Ah, the famed Apollo Theater. Boo me off stage on open-mic night, huh? I'll show you!"
Zoidberg,"Ah, the famed Apollo Theater. Boo me off stage on open-mic night, huh? I'll show you!",Bender,"Hey, I called this city! Quit touching my stuff!"
Bender,"Hey, I called this city! Quit touching my stuff!",Zoidberg,Tell it to claw.
Zoidberg,Tell it to claw.,Bender,Bite my colossal metal ass!
Bender,Bite my colossal metal ass!,Zoidberg,Stop!
Zoidberg,Stop!,Bender,Who wants lobster bisque?
Bender,Who wants lobster bisque?,Zoidberg,Hmm?
Zoidberg,Hmm?,Fry,"Hey, Bender?"
Fry,"Hey, Bender?",Bender,Huh?
Bender,Huh?,Fry,Wanna make Shrinky Dinks?
Fry,Wanna make Shrinky Dinks?,Bender,Who put this in here?
Bender,Who put this in here?,Fry,Are you people satisfied? This gentle visitor is dying! And we'll never even know why he came.
Fry,Are you people satisfied? This gentle visitor is dying! And we'll never even know why he came.,Bender,Not I.
Bender,Not I.,Fry,"Goodnight, sweet prince."
Fry,"Goodnight, sweet prince.",Farnsworth,"Well, Leela, care to give the What-If machine a whirl?"
Farnsworth,"Well, Leela, care to give the What-If machine a whirl?",Leela,"Maybe later. I-I mean, I don't know what to ask about."
Leela,"Maybe later. I-I mean, I don't know what to ask about.",Hermes,"Come on, woman! Just pick something."
Hermes,"Come on, woman! Just pick something.",Fry,"Yeah, be more impulsive. Like this."
Fry,"Yeah, be more impulsive. Like this.",Bender,"Go, man! Go!"
Bender,"Go, man! Go!",Leela,Not too much.
Leela,Not too much.,Leela,green stripe. Woo! Never know what I'm gonna do next!
Leela,green stripe. Woo! Never know what I'm gonna do next!,Farnsworth,"Leela, could you come in here for a moment. I have something important to tell you."
Farnsworth,"Leela, could you come in here for a moment. I have something important to tell you.",Farnsworth,"The others simply aren't level-headed enough. They're too impulsive. Not like you. Not like old, predictable, dull-as-dishwater Leela."
Farnsworth,"The others simply aren't level-headed enough. They're too impulsive. Not like you. Not like old, predictable, dull-as-dishwater Leela.",Leela?,New boots!
Leela?,New boots!,Farnsworth,"That's why I've made you my sole heir. The day I die, you'll be a very wealthy woman. Oh, my, yes. Incredibly wealthy. The day I die. Because you're so unimpulsive."
Farnsworth,"That's why I've made you my sole heir. The day I die, you'll be a very wealthy woman. Oh, my, yes. Incredibly wealthy. The day I die. Because you're so unimpulsive.",Leela,Yah!
Leela,Yah!,Farnsworth,"Oh, you've killed me! You've killed me!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, you've killed me! You've killed me!",Leela,"Oh, God! What have I done?"
Leela,"Oh, God! What have I done?",Farnsworth,"I just told you, you've killed me!"
Farnsworth,"I just told you, you've killed me!",Leela,"OK, just try to be nonchalant."
Leela,"OK, just try to be nonchalant.",Zoidberg,"Alright, so you're nonchalant. Quit rubbing our noses in it."
Zoidberg,"Alright, so you're nonchalant. Quit rubbing our noses in it.",Hermes,Sweet giant anteater of Saint Anita! The Professor's been eaten by giant anteaters!
Hermes,Sweet giant anteater of Saint Anita! The Professor's been eaten by giant anteaters!,Zoidberg,What?
Zoidberg,What?,Hermes,"If y'ask me, it's mighty suspicious! I'm gonna call the police ... right after I flush some things."
Hermes,"If y'ask me, it's mighty suspicious! I'm gonna call the police ... right after I flush some things.",Zoidberg,Zoidberg is afoot!
Zoidberg,Zoidberg is afoot!,Hermes,as his sole heir.
Hermes,as his sole heir.,Leela,That doesn't prove I killed him.
Leela,That doesn't prove I killed him.,Hermes,It's a video will. It shows you killing him.
Hermes,It's a video will. It shows you killing him.,Leela,Hi-yah!
Leela,Hi-yah!,Zoidberg,What? How do you spell that?
Zoidberg,What? How do you spell that?,Hermes,What are you hacking off? Is it my torso? It is! My precious torso!
Hermes,What are you hacking off? Is it my torso? It is! My precious torso!,Zoidberg,"Hermes, quiet! I'm deducing things."
Zoidberg,"Hermes, quiet! I'm deducing things.",Bender,Whattya got? Disposal trouble?
Bender,Whattya got? Disposal trouble?,Leela,No! Everything's just--
Leela,No! Everything's just--,Bender,"goes in the disposal, hair and flesh go in the trash!"
Bender,"goes in the disposal, hair and flesh go in the trash!",Leela,"I'm sorry, I couldn't stop-- W-Wait. Don't you care that I murdered Hermes?"
Leela,"I'm sorry, I couldn't stop-- W-Wait. Don't you care that I murdered Hermes?",Bender,"Not even a little. There's nothing wrong with murder, just so long as you let Bender wet his beak."
Bender,"Not even a little. There's nothing wrong with murder, just so long as you let Bender wet his beak.",Leela,You're blackmailing me?
Leela,You're blackmailing me?,Bender,"Please, honey, I'm made of metal. Like you're really gonna hurt me with a-- Hey! What are you doing with that microwave?"
Bender,"Please, honey, I'm made of metal. Like you're really gonna hurt me with a-- Hey! What are you doing with that microwave?",Leela,Now to dispose of the body.
Leela,Now to dispose of the body.,Amy,"Wow! Sporty go-cart, Leela! So hip and sexy. Not like you at all."
Amy,"Wow! Sporty go-cart, Leela! So hip and sexy. Not like you at all.",Leela,Do you have any gum?
Leela,Do you have any gum?,Amy,No.
Amy,No.,Zoidberg,"Ah, the gang's all here."
Zoidberg,"Ah, the gang's all here.",Leela,Who are you?
Leela,Who are you?,Scruffy,"Scruffy, the janitor."
Scruffy,"Scruffy, the janitor.",Leela,I've never seen you before.
Leela,I've never seen you before.,Scruffy,I've never seen you before neither.
Scruffy,I've never seen you before neither.,Zoidberg,"You see, the killer left one fatal clue: This boot print on the Professor's lab coat."
Zoidberg,"You see, the killer left one fatal clue: This boot print on the Professor's lab coat.",Leela,See?
Leela,See?,Fry,Ew! What smells like boot feet?
Fry,Ew! What smells like boot feet?,Cubert,"This is preposterous. Obviously, the murderer is--"
Cubert,"This is preposterous. Obviously, the murderer is--","Zoidberg.15,","when I discovered the murdered body of Amy's dead, deceased corpse."
"Zoidberg.15,","when I discovered the murdered body of Amy's dead, deceased corpse.",Scruffy,"Scruffy knows who killed them people. In Scruffy's opinion, it were--"
Scruffy,"Scruffy knows who killed them people. In Scruffy's opinion, it were--",Zoidberg,"My God! It can't be! The murderer, it was--"
Zoidberg,"My God! It can't be! The murderer, it was--",Fry,"I'm bored. You're boring, Zoidberg. I'm gonna go watch TV."
Fry,"I'm bored. You're boring, Zoidberg. I'm gonna go watch TV.",Leela,Could you get the lights on your way out?
Leela,Could you get the lights on your way out?,Fry,Whatcha eating?
Fry,Whatcha eating?,Leela,Lobster. Want some?
Leela,Lobster. Want some?,Fry,"Y'know, I think I finally figured out what's behind all these mysterious deaths."
Fry,"Y'know, I think I finally figured out what's behind all these mysterious deaths.",Leela,Really?
Leela,Really?,Fry,Was Planet Express built on an Indian graveyard?
Fry,Was Planet Express built on an Indian graveyard?,Leela,No.
Leela,No.,Fry,No?
Fry,No?,Leela,No!
Leela,No!,Fry,Then ... then ... it was you!
Fry,Then ... then ... it was you!,Leela,I don't know what came over me. I killed one person on impulse. Then I had to kill another. And another.
Leela,I don't know what came over me. I killed one person on impulse. Then I had to kill another. And another.,Fry,"Well, that covers the first three killings."
Fry,"Well, that covers the first three killings.",Leela,impulsive!
Leela,impulsive!,Leela,"So, Fry, what do you think of the impulsive new me?"
Leela,"So, Fry, what do you think of the impulsive new me?",Fry,I like it!
Fry,I like it!,Leela,Good. Now let me just get the lights.
Leela,Good. Now let me just get the lights.,Fry,like it!
Fry,like it!,Farnsworth,Who else has a question for the What-If machine? Scruffy? Fry?
Farnsworth,Who else has a question for the What-If machine? Scruffy? Fry?,Fry,"Um, I have a question. What if Bender was really giant?"
Fry,"Um, I have a question. What if Bender was really giant?",Leela,You idiot! We already saw that.
Leela,You idiot! We already saw that.,Fry,I know. I liked it. I wanna see it again.
Fry,I know. I liked it. I wanna see it again.,Farnsworth,We're not seeing it again! Ask something less stupid.
Farnsworth,We're not seeing it again! Ask something less stupid.,Fry,"Oh, alright. How 'bout this? What if I never fell into that freezer-doodle and came to the future-jiggy?"
Fry,"Oh, alright. How 'bout this? What if I never fell into that freezer-doodle and came to the future-jiggy?",Farnsworth,What would happen if Fry never came to the future?
Farnsworth,What would happen if Fry never came to the future?,Fry,I should have left you floating in the toilet!
Fry,I should have left you floating in the toilet!,Leela,What is it?
Leela,What is it?,Farnsworth,It appears that the very fabric of space-time has ripped.
Farnsworth,It appears that the very fabric of space-time has ripped.,Bender,"Hey, look! An ugly scared guy! Boo!"
Bender,"Hey, look! An ugly scared guy! Boo!",Fry,Who are you monsters? Is one of you Icy Wiener?
Fry,Who are you monsters? Is one of you Icy Wiener?,Zoidberg,"If that's his pizza, then I'm icy whatever!"
Zoidberg,"If that's his pizza, then I'm icy whatever!",Fry,"You believe me about the monsters, right, Mr. Panucci?"
Fry,"You believe me about the monsters, right, Mr. Panucci?",Panucci,"Hey! The usual, Professor Hawking?"
Panucci,"Hey! The usual, Professor Hawking?",Stephen,Hawking: No. Today I'd like something good.
Stephen,Hawking: No. Today I'd like something good.,Panucci,"Hawking, you're alright! I'll make you the usual!"
Panucci,"Hawking, you're alright! I'll make you the usual!",Fry,Hey! Stephen Hawking! Aren't you that physicist that invented gravity?
Fry,Hey! Stephen Hawking! Aren't you that physicist that invented gravity?,Hawking,Sure. Why not?
Hawking,Sure. Why not?,Fry,"'Cause if I'm the first, I want them to call it a Fry Hole."
Fry,"'Cause if I'm the first, I want them to call it a Fry Hole.",Hawking,There is nothing to be concerned about. I must go. There is much to do.
Hawking,There is nothing to be concerned about. I must go. There is much to do.,Panucci,"Hey, Hawking! Your pizza's ready."
Panucci,"Hey, Hawking! Your pizza's ready.",Hawking,Toss it in the garbage!
Hawking,Toss it in the garbage!,Hawking,There he is. Seize him.
Hawking,There he is. Seize him.,Fry,Hey! What the--? Ooh! Ow! Ow!
Fry,Hey! What the--? Ooh! Ow! Ow!,Fry,Who are you people?
Fry,Who are you people?,Gore,"I'm Al Gore, and these are my Vice Presidential Action Rangers; a group of top nerds whose sole duty it is to prevent disruptions in the space-time continuum."
Gore,"I'm Al Gore, and these are my Vice Presidential Action Rangers; a group of top nerds whose sole duty it is to prevent disruptions in the space-time continuum.",Fry,I thought your duty was to cast the tie-breaking vote in the Senate.
Fry,I thought your duty was to cast the tie-breaking vote in the Senate.,Gore,"That, and protect the space-time continuum. Read the Constitution!"
Gore,"That, and protect the space-time continuum. Read the Constitution!",Fry,Hmm. So I guess you'll wanna see my Fry Hole.
Fry,Hmm. So I guess you'll wanna see my Fry Hole.,Gore,"Very much so. But first, meet the Action Rangers. You already know Stephen Hawking. Also with us are Nichelle Nichols, a.k.a. Commander Uhura."
Gore,"Very much so. But first, meet the Action Rangers. You already know Stephen Hawking. Also with us are Nichelle Nichols, a.k.a. Commander Uhura.",Nichols,Incoming transmission from MCI One Rate department. It sounds like a limited-time offer.
Nichols,Incoming transmission from MCI One Rate department. It sounds like a limited-time offer.,Gore,"Tell them I'm in the tub! To my left you'll recognise Gary Gygax, inventor of Dungeons & Dragons."
Gore,"Tell them I'm in the tub! To my left you'll recognise Gary Gygax, inventor of Dungeons & Dragons.",Gygax,... pleasure to meet you!
Gygax,... pleasure to meet you!,Gore,"And our summer intern, Deep Blue, the world's foremost chess-playing computer."
Gore,"And our summer intern, Deep Blue, the world's foremost chess-playing computer.",Deep,Blue: Bishop to knight 4.
Deep,Blue: Bishop to knight 4.,Gore,"Not all missions can be solved with chess, Deep Blue. Someday you'll understand that."
Gore,"Not all missions can be solved with chess, Deep Blue. Someday you'll understand that.",Fry,"Where am I, anyway?"
Fry,"Where am I, anyway?",Nichols,You're travelling in a specially-equipped terrestrial transport module.
Nichols,You're travelling in a specially-equipped terrestrial transport module.,Gygax,A school bus!
Gygax,A school bus!,Fry,So what do you nerds want?
Fry,So what do you nerds want?,Nichols,It's about that rip in space-time that you saw.
Nichols,It's about that rip in space-time that you saw.,Hawking,I call it a Hawking Hole.
Hawking,I call it a Hawking Hole.,Fry,No fair! I saw it first!
Fry,No fair! I saw it first!,Hawking,going to believe?
Hawking,going to believe?,Gygax,"Mr. Fry, the time disruption indicates that some of that was supposed to happen but didn't, due to a quantum fluctuation."
Gygax,"Mr. Fry, the time disruption indicates that some of that was supposed to happen but didn't, due to a quantum fluctuation.",Nichols,That's why we had to beat you with tennis rackets.
Nichols,That's why we had to beat you with tennis rackets.,Gore,"If we don't go back there and make the event happen, the entire universe will be destroyed! And as an environmentalist, I'm against that."
Gore,"If we don't go back there and make the event happen, the entire universe will be destroyed! And as an environmentalist, I'm against that.",Fry,So then my chair tilted back and I almost fell into this freezer thingy.
Fry,So then my chair tilted back and I almost fell into this freezer thingy.,Hawking,I call it a Hawking Chamber.
Hawking,I call it a Hawking Chamber.,Fry,"But instead of falling in and getting frozen, I missed and wanged my head."
Fry,"But instead of falling in and getting frozen, I missed and wanged my head.",Gore,Well it's obvious what should have happened: That wang to the head should have killed you.
Gore,Well it's obvious what should have happened: That wang to the head should have killed you.,Fry,"Uh, what?"
Fry,"Uh, what?",Nichols,Let's finish the job.
Nichols,Let's finish the job.,Gore,No! Wait! There must be a peaceful--
Gore,No! Wait! There must be a peaceful--,Hawking,Hold him down.
Hawking,Hold him down.,Deep,Blue: Check.
Deep,Blue: Check.,Fry,Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Fry,Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!,Nichols,Something's wrong. Murder isn't working and that's all we're good at.
Nichols,Something's wrong. Murder isn't working and that's all we're good at.,Gygax,Let's try something else. Maybe we should--
Gygax,Let's try something else. Maybe we should--,Gore,Put the dice away before I take them away.
Gore,Put the dice away before I take them away.,Nichols,Wait. I'm getting an idea. What if Fry was supposed to get frozen?
Nichols,Wait. I'm getting an idea. What if Fry was supposed to get frozen?,Hawking,Yes. Shove him in the tube. It was my idea.
Hawking,Yes. Shove him in the tube. It was my idea.,Bender!,Take this!
Bender!,Take this!,Gore,"Get in the tube, dummy! We only have a few seconds before the universe is destroyed."
Gore,"Get in the tube, dummy! We only have a few seconds before the universe is destroyed.",Fry,Alright. But I need a weapon to fight off drunken robots when I wake up.
Fry,Alright. But I need a weapon to fight off drunken robots when I wake up.,Gygax,Here. Take my plus-one mace.
Gygax,Here. Take my plus-one mace.,Fry,"OK, here I go."
Fry,"OK, here I go.",Gore,You fool! You foolish fool!
Gore,You fool! You foolish fool!,Fry,"Eh, what's the worst thing that can happen?"
Fry,"Eh, what's the worst thing that can happen?",Hawking,Great. The entire universe was destroyed.
Hawking,Great. The entire universe was destroyed.,Fry,Destroyed? Then where are we now?
Fry,Destroyed? Then where are we now?,Gore,I don't know. But I can darn well tell you where we're not: The universe.
Gore,I don't know. But I can darn well tell you where we're not: The universe.,Nichols,convention all over again.
Nichols,convention all over again.,Gygax,Anyone wanna play Dungeons & Dragons for the next quadrillion years?
Gygax,Anyone wanna play Dungeons & Dragons for the next quadrillion years?,Fry,Sure.
Fry,Sure.,Hawking,I guess.
Hawking,I guess.,Deep,Blue: Pawn to rook 8.
Deep,Blue: Pawn to rook 8.,Gore,I'm a 10th-level Vice President!
Gore,I'm a 10th-level Vice President!,Farnsworth,"Anyway, the fing-longer seems to be arousing success."
Farnsworth,"Anyway, the fing-longer seems to be arousing success.",Fry,Good work.
Fry,Good work.,Leela,Congratulations!
Leela,Congratulations!,Amy,"Right on, Professor!"
Amy,"Right on, Professor!",Farnsworth,A man can dream though. A man can dream.
Farnsworth,A man can dream though. A man can dream.,Fry,"Hm, Spider, Hubble, Nitrogum ... ooh, Big Pink! It's the only gum with the breath-freshening power of ham."
Fry,"Hm, Spider, Hubble, Nitrogum ... ooh, Big Pink! It's the only gum with the breath-freshening power of ham.",Bender,And it pinkens your teeth while you chew.
Bender,And it pinkens your teeth while you chew.,Clerk,That'll be 40 cents.
Clerk,That'll be 40 cents.,Fry,I believe you're forgetting about our 5% military discount.
Fry,I believe you're forgetting about our 5% military discount.,Clerk,Well that's only for people in the military.
Clerk,Well that's only for people in the military.,Bender?,This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me!
Bender?,This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me!,Clerk,"Alright, look. Our policy is: If for any reason you're not completely satisfied, I hate you."
Clerk,"Alright, look. Our policy is: If for any reason you're not completely satisfied, I hate you.",Bender,"OK, now I'm mad!"
Bender,"OK, now I'm mad!",Bender,"Hello. We're here because we, uh, love our planet!"
Bender,"Hello. We're here because we, uh, love our planet!",Recruitment,"Officer: Sign here on the dotted line, patriots, and I'll give you your discount cards."
Recruitment,"Officer: Sign here on the dotted line, patriots, and I'll give you your discount cards.",Fry,"Just out of curiosity, we could use the cards to buy gum, then immediately quit the army, right?"
Fry,"Just out of curiosity, we could use the cards to buy gum, then immediately quit the army, right?",Bender,"You know, playing you all for chumps?"
Bender,"You know, playing you all for chumps?",Recruitment,"Officer Unless, of course, war were declared."
Recruitment,"Officer Unless, of course, war were declared.",Fry,What's that?
Fry,What's that?,Recruitment,Officer: War were declared.
Recruitment,Officer: War were declared.,Farnsworth,"Now be careful, Fry. And if you kill anyone, make sure to eat their heart, to gain their courage. Their rich, tasty courage."
Farnsworth,"Now be careful, Fry. And if you kill anyone, make sure to eat their heart, to gain their courage. Their rich, tasty courage.",Hermes,I don't want you to worry about your jobs while you're away. That's why I'm firing you now.
Hermes,I don't want you to worry about your jobs while you're away. That's why I'm firing you now.,Leela,I wanna enlist. My friends always die if I'm not there to save them.
Leela,I wanna enlist. My friends always die if I'm not there to save them.,Zapp,"Sorry, but the army's instituted a men-only policy."
Zapp,"Sorry, but the army's instituted a men-only policy.",Zapp.,"Alas, after a series of deadly blunders caused by distracting low-cut fatigues and lots of harmless pinching, the army decided women weren't fit for service. Not when I'm in charge."
Zapp.,"Alas, after a series of deadly blunders caused by distracting low-cut fatigues and lots of harmless pinching, the army decided women weren't fit for service. Not when I'm in charge.",Leela,"You know, Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson."
Leela,"You know, Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson.",Zapp,"If it's a lesson in love, watch out; I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?"
Zapp,"If it's a lesson in love, watch out; I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?",Kif,Sex-lexia.
Kif,Sex-lexia.,Zapp,for your planet. A few of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet. They will be the luckiest of all.
Zapp,for your planet. A few of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet. They will be the luckiest of all.,Bender,"Great, we're gonna die."
Bender,"Great, we're gonna die.",Fry,And this ham gum is all bones.
Fry,And this ham gum is all bones.,Zapp,"Now to present the logistics of our mission, the Commander-in-Chief. Please welcome the original Gerber Baby, Earth President Richard M. Nixon."
Zapp,"Now to present the logistics of our mission, the Commander-in-Chief. Please welcome the original Gerber Baby, Earth President Richard M. Nixon.",Nixon,Planet Spheron One!
Nixon,Planet Spheron One!,Fry,Cool effect!
Fry,Cool effect!,Zapp,"It's a desolate, ugly little planet with absolutely no natural resources or strategic value. Questions?"
Zapp,"It's a desolate, ugly little planet with absolutely no natural resources or strategic value. Questions?",Soldier,#1: Why is this Godforsaken planet worth dying for?
Soldier,#1: Why is this Godforsaken planet worth dying for?,Zapp,"Don't ask me, you're the one who's going to be dying."
Zapp,"Don't ask me, you're the one who's going to be dying.",Fry,"Uh, just so we'll know, who's the enemy?"
Fry,"Uh, just so we'll know, who's the enemy?",Zapp,"stand for. Also, they told me you guys look like dorks."
Zapp,"stand for. Also, they told me you guys look like dorks.",Bender,look like dorks!
Bender,look like dorks!,Zapp,"Kif, write that down and send it to Humor In Uniform."
Zapp,"Kif, write that down and send it to Humor In Uniform.",Fry,Whoa! Check out that guy. He makes Speedy Gonzales look like Regular Gonzales!
Fry,Whoa! Check out that guy. He makes Speedy Gonzales look like Regular Gonzales!,Kif,"That new recruit is phenomenal, sir."
Kif,"That new recruit is phenomenal, sir.",Zapp,"... and 16 minutes ... and 12 hours. I do plan to finish someday, Kif. Good hustle, soldier."
Zapp,"... and 16 minutes ... and 12 hours. I do plan to finish someday, Kif. Good hustle, soldier.",Leela,"Uh, sorry, sir. I was still in attack mode. You know how testosterone is."
Leela,"Uh, sorry, sir. I was still in attack mode. You know how testosterone is.",Zapp,"As a bubbling Crock-Pot of male hormones, I sure do. What's your name, private?"
Zapp,"As a bubbling Crock-Pot of male hormones, I sure do. What's your name, private?",Leela,"La ... man. La Man ... Lemon! Lee Lemon, sir."
Leela,"La ... man. La Man ... Lemon! Lee Lemon, sir.",Zapp,"Lemon, you're a man's man. You're a man's man's man. More importantly, your hand, while firm and masculine, is soft as a velvet child. What lotion do you use?"
Zapp,"Lemon, you're a man's man. You're a man's man's man. More importantly, your hand, while firm and masculine, is soft as a velvet child. What lotion do you use?",Leela,"Pert and Popular, sir."
Leela,"Pert and Popular, sir.",Zapp,"Roger that. Kif, get me ten cases of Pert and Popular."
Zapp,"Roger that. Kif, get me ten cases of Pert and Popular.",Kif,"What shall I do with your Jergens, sir?"
Kif,"What shall I do with your Jergens, sir?",Zapp,Private Lee Lemon may well be the finest recruit I've seen in all my years of service. That young man fills me with hope and some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing to me.
Zapp,Private Lee Lemon may well be the finest recruit I've seen in all my years of service. That young man fills me with hope and some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing to me.,Kif,Ew!
Kif,Ew!,Zapp,Hello!
Zapp,Hello!,Nixon,"Mmm! Now that's a nice rosé. So, anyway, we open up the panda crate and, wouldn't you know it, the damn thing's dead! Up-chucked it's bamboo. True story."
Nixon,"Mmm! Now that's a nice rosé. So, anyway, we open up the panda crate and, wouldn't you know it, the damn thing's dead! Up-chucked it's bamboo. True story.",Zapp,"Uh-huh, uh-huh. That's whatever you were talking about for you."
Zapp,"Uh-huh, uh-huh. That's whatever you were talking about for you.",Fry,Mind if we sit with you?
Fry,Mind if we sit with you?,Leela,"Uh, hey, why the hell would I? We're all guys here. Sweaty, hairy, gassy guys."
Leela,"Uh, hey, why the hell would I? We're all guys here. Sweaty, hairy, gassy guys.",Fry,Good point ... I guess.
Fry,Good point ... I guess.,Bender,"You're my kind of soldier, Lemon. A foul-mouthed, barrel-chested, beer-bellied pile of ugly muscle."
Bender,"You're my kind of soldier, Lemon. A foul-mouthed, barrel-chested, beer-bellied pile of ugly muscle.",Hick,So. Any you fellas got a special lady back home?
Hick,So. Any you fellas got a special lady back home?,Fry,"Well, I sort of a have a thing for this girl I work with."
Fry,"Well, I sort of a have a thing for this girl I work with.",Leela,"What type is she? You know, blonde, or Chinese, or Cyclops?"
Leela,"What type is she? You know, blonde, or Chinese, or Cyclops?",Fry,Cyclops.
Fry,Cyclops.,Leela,"Aww, she sounds sweet."
Leela,"Aww, she sounds sweet.",Bender,"But sweet girls aren't for you, eh? You hard-fighting, hard-farting, ugly, ugly son of a--"
Bender,"But sweet girls aren't for you, eh? You hard-fighting, hard-farting, ugly, ugly son of a--",Leela,Stop! Stop flattering me!
Leela,Stop! Stop flattering me!,Zapp,"Well, well, well. If it isn't Lee Lemon: The flaming star of Brannigan's Rough Rangers. Say, uh, Lemon, do you like to read? I just got a great book on tape. It's about life in Ancient Greece and--"
Zapp,"Well, well, well. If it isn't Lee Lemon: The flaming star of Brannigan's Rough Rangers. Say, uh, Lemon, do you like to read? I just got a great book on tape. It's about life in Ancient Greece and--",Leela,"Sir, the alarm. I think I'd better--"
Leela,"Sir, the alarm. I think I'd better--",Zapp,Shh. Don't talk. Just go.
Zapp,Shh. Don't talk. Just go.,Nixon,We are now in position above Spheron One. This is the moment we were training for all yesterday afternoon.
Nixon,We are now in position above Spheron One. This is the moment we were training for all yesterday afternoon.,Zapp,"And now for the battle plan: As you all know, the key to victory is the element of surprise. Surprise!"
Zapp,"And now for the battle plan: As you all know, the key to victory is the element of surprise. Surprise!",Fry,It's creepy here.
Fry,It's creepy here.,Soldier,#1: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
Soldier,#1: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.,Fry,And then the battle's not so bad?
Fry,And then the battle's not so bad?,Soldier,"#1: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle."
Soldier,"#1: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle.",Fry,What's happening?
Fry,What's happening?,Hick,Holy shoot! Lookie!
Hick,Holy shoot! Lookie!,Fry,The enemy! They're balls!
Fry,The enemy! They're balls!,Leela,"Charge your gun, Fry."
Leela,"Charge your gun, Fry.",Fry,"Oh, right."
Fry,"Oh, right.",Zapp,"There, there, boy."
Zapp,"There, there, boy.",Soldier,#1: Give this to my son.
Soldier,#1: Give this to my son.,Bender,You got it!
Bender,You got it!,Soldier,#1: Wait. I didn't tell you where he lives.
Soldier,#1: Wait. I didn't tell you where he lives.,Bender,"Hey, I think your son might also like those boots."
Bender,"Hey, I think your son might also like those boots.",Hick,"Fry, you emu-bellied coward!"
Hick,"Fry, you emu-bellied coward!",Fry,Bender! No!
Fry,Bender! No!,Bender,"If they put me on a stamp, tell them to use the young Bender."
Bender,"If they put me on a stamp, tell them to use the young Bender.",P.A.,"Announcer: Incoming wounded. All operating personnel report to tent four, repeat, four-- I mean five! Repeat, four."
P.A.,"Announcer: Incoming wounded. All operating personnel report to tent four, repeat, four-- I mean five! Repeat, four.",Nurse,"Are you ready to operate, doctor?"
Nurse,"Are you ready to operate, doctor?",Zoidberg,I kid! I kid!
Zoidberg,I kid! I kid!,Zoidberg,Priest. Next patient.
Zoidberg,Priest. Next patient.,iHawk,"Gee, Zoidberg, leave some for the enemy to kill."
iHawk,"Gee, Zoidberg, leave some for the enemy to kill.",Nurse,Leave Dr. Zoidberg alone! He has twice the training you do.
Nurse,Leave Dr. Zoidberg alone! He has twice the training you do.,iHawk,"Yeah, he's a doctor and a butcher!"
iHawk,"Yeah, he's a doctor and a butcher!",Zoidberg,"See, this is how it starts. First with he jokes, then comes the heavy stuff."
Zoidberg,"See, this is how it starts. First with he jokes, then comes the heavy stuff.",iHawk,When will the killing end?
iHawk,When will the killing end?,Zapp,"Look at this sissy, Kif. While others were fighting and dying pointlessly, he was hiding in a hole, wallowing in a pool of his own cowardice."
Zapp,"Look at this sissy, Kif. While others were fighting and dying pointlessly, he was hiding in a hole, wallowing in a pool of his own cowardice.",Fry,That wasn't cowardice.
Fry,That wasn't cowardice.,Zapp,"I'm de-promoting you, soldier. Kif, what's the most humiliating job there is?"
Zapp,"I'm de-promoting you, soldier. Kif, what's the most humiliating job there is?",Kif,Being your assistant.
Kif,Being your assistant.,Zapp,"assistant! Private Fry, you shall henceforth serve as Kif's assistant."
Zapp,"assistant! Private Fry, you shall henceforth serve as Kif's assistant.",Fry,That doesn't sound too bad.
Fry,That doesn't sound too bad.,Kif,"You speak when I tell you to, you filthy worm!"
Kif,"You speak when I tell you to, you filthy worm!",Zoidberg,I'm afraid he's gone.
Zoidberg,I'm afraid he's gone.,Hick,"Whoa, doc, I ain't dead."
Hick,"Whoa, doc, I ain't dead.",Zoidberg,the doctor.
Zoidberg,the doctor.,Hick,"Bender, old buddy, hang in there."
Hick,"Bender, old buddy, hang in there.",Zapp,Here lies the bravest soldier I've seen since my mirror got grease on it. I hereby order that in Bender's honour he be melted down and made into a statue of himself.
Zapp,Here lies the bravest soldier I've seen since my mirror got grease on it. I hereby order that in Bender's honour he be melted down and made into a statue of himself.,Nixon,"Slow down there, Starsky, I'm up to something here. I want this robot fixed. Fixed like Kennedy fixed the 1960 election. Damn bean-eating war hero!"
Nixon,"Slow down there, Starsky, I'm up to something here. I want this robot fixed. Fixed like Kennedy fixed the 1960 election. Damn bean-eating war hero!",Nurse,"Are you read to operate, doctor?"
Nurse,"Are you read to operate, doctor?",iHawk,"I'd love to, but first I have to perform surgery."
iHawk,"I'd love to, but first I have to perform surgery.",Zoidberg,joke! I'll kill you!
Zoidberg,joke! I'll kill you!,Zapp,"Welcome, Lieutenant Bender. You're looking sharp."
Zapp,"Welcome, Lieutenant Bender. You're looking sharp.",Bender,I got wheels! With clickety-clack-ers.
Bender,I got wheels! With clickety-clack-ers.,Zapp,"Damnit, Kif, where's the little umbrella? That's what makes it a scotch-on-the-rocks!"
Zapp,"Damnit, Kif, where's the little umbrella? That's what makes it a scotch-on-the-rocks!",Kif,"Actually, sir--"
Kif,"Actually, sir--",Zapp,Make me a new one.
Zapp,Make me a new one.,Kif,"Use a brush, you dunderhead! And mix these mixed nuts. I see two almonds touching!"
Kif,"Use a brush, you dunderhead! And mix these mixed nuts. I see two almonds touching!",Nixon,"Now, listen here, Bender. This war is in danger of going all quagmire on me, so I'm sending you on one last mission."
Nixon,"Now, listen here, Bender. This war is in danger of going all quagmire on me, so I'm sending you on one last mission.",Bender,Hot diggidy daffodil!
Bender,Hot diggidy daffodil!,Nixon,A mission of peace.
Nixon,A mission of peace.,Bender,Oh!
Bender,Oh!,Nixon,"Accompanying you will be our top peace negotiator, Henry Kissenger."
Nixon,"Accompanying you will be our top peace negotiator, Henry Kissenger.",Kissenger,How are you?
Kissenger,How are you?,Bender,Is he any good?
Bender,Is he any good?,Nixon,"Looking like that, he talked his way into Jill St. John's bed. Nuff said!"
Nixon,"Looking like that, he talked his way into Jill St. John's bed. Nuff said!",It,never ends.
It,never ends.,Zapp,A little lower. Lower. Lower. A lot lower. Too low! ... Lower!
Zapp,A little lower. Lower. Lower. A lot lower. Too low! ... Lower!,Fry,"I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh."
Fry,"I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh.",Zapp,My stall just became free.
Zapp,My stall just became free.,Leela,"Maybe you should put on a towel, sir."
Leela,"Maybe you should put on a towel, sir.",Zapp,"If I should accidentally put too much on my hands, perhaps I could rub it onto you."
Zapp,"If I should accidentally put too much on my hands, perhaps I could rub it onto you.",Nixon,Brannigan!
Nixon,Brannigan!,Zapp,Hm?
Zapp,Hm?,Nixon,"My God, cover yourself. I didn't live a thousand years and travel a quadrillion miles to look at another man's gizmo."
Nixon,"My God, cover yourself. I didn't live a thousand years and travel a quadrillion miles to look at another man's gizmo.",Zapp,"Uh, sorry, Mr. President, I-I didn't realise. Kif, raise him up about nipple-high."
Zapp,"Uh, sorry, Mr. President, I-I didn't realise. Kif, raise him up about nipple-high.",Nixon,"Come on, Brannigan, stuff yourself into a uniform. We've gotta get off this planet before the bomb goes off."
Nixon,"Come on, Brannigan, stuff yourself into a uniform. We've gotta get off this planet before the bomb goes off.",Leela?,What bomb?
Leela?,What bomb?,Zapp,The one we had the doctors implant in that gullible Bender robot.
Zapp,The one we had the doctors implant in that gullible Bender robot.,Zapp,Hm?
Zapp,Hm?,Nixon,Inspect the troops later. It's time to activate the bomb.
Nixon,Inspect the troops later. It's time to activate the bomb.,Kissenger,"Now, as for economic co-operation--"
Kissenger,"Now, as for economic co-operation--",Bender,Whoa! Scuse me.
Bender,Whoa! Scuse me.,P.A.,Announcer: Attention: All personnel evacuate the planet immediately. And not just because it's meat loaf night.
P.A.,Announcer: Attention: All personnel evacuate the planet immediately. And not just because it's meat loaf night.,Zapp,"Come along, Lemon, before this whole dump blows up."
Zapp,"Come along, Lemon, before this whole dump blows up.",Leela,"Uh, Commander? Could you tell me when the bomb is exploding?"
Leela,"Uh, Commander? Could you tell me when the bomb is exploding?",Zapp,"Of course, my significant soldier. The bomb is voice-activated. It will detonate the instant the robot unwittingly speaks a certain word."
Zapp,"Of course, my significant soldier. The bomb is voice-activated. It will detonate the instant the robot unwittingly speaks a certain word.",Fry,"What's the word, uh, sir?"
Fry,"What's the word, uh, sir?",Zapp,"... number three, shiny; number two, daffodil. And Bender's number one most frequently-uttered word, the word which, if uttered, will blow up this entire planet: Ass."
Zapp,"... number three, shiny; number two, daffodil. And Bender's number one most frequently-uttered word, the word which, if uttered, will blow up this entire planet: Ass.",Fry,We don't have long!
Fry,We don't have long!,Brain,"Ball #1: We demand bouncing, followed by rolling, followed by rolling of the third type."
Brain,"Ball #1: We demand bouncing, followed by rolling, followed by rolling of the third type.",Kissenger,Say what?
Kissenger,Say what?,Bender,"My chair's too hard. It's a real pain in the, uh, whattya call it? Lower back! Yeah, that whole region."
Bender,"My chair's too hard. It's a real pain in the, uh, whattya call it? Lower back! Yeah, that whole region.",Fry,"OK, I gotta break down that gate, beat up those three guards, steal that chopper and rescue Bender."
Fry,"OK, I gotta break down that gate, beat up those three guards, steal that chopper and rescue Bender.",Leela,Hi-yah!
Leela,Hi-yah!,Fry,"Hey, I did it! Wait, that's not me."
Fry,"Hey, I did it! Wait, that's not me.",Leela,Come on! We gotta save Bender.
Leela,Come on! We gotta save Bender.,Fry,"You wanna save him too, Lemon? You barely know him."
Fry,"You wanna save him too, Lemon? You barely know him.",Leela,"Fry, don't you recognise me?"
Leela,"Fry, don't you recognise me?",Fry,Hermes?
Fry,Hermes?,Zapp,"Well, let's see how friendly you get when you're sharing a prison cell!"
Zapp,"Well, let's see how friendly you get when you're sharing a prison cell!",Leela,"Hey, Zapp!"
Leela,"Hey, Zapp!",Zapp,Leela!
Zapp,Leela!,Fry,Leela!
Fry,Leela!,Zapp,"So it's you I've been attracted to! Oh, God, I've never been so happy to be beaten up by a woman."
Zapp,"So it's you I've been attracted to! Oh, God, I've never been so happy to be beaten up by a woman.",Leela,Let's do it again sometime.
Leela,Let's do it again sometime.,Brain,Ball #2 metres in the air. Do I make myself clear?
Brain,Ball #2 metres in the air. Do I make myself clear?,Kissenger,"Mr. Ambassador, our people tell the same story. Oy."
Kissenger,"Mr. Ambassador, our people tell the same story. Oy.",Bender,"These balls are making me testy. If they don't stop bouncing and jiggling, I swear I'm gonna shove this treaty up their-- Wait a second. Where do you shove things up a ball?"
Bender,"These balls are making me testy. If they don't stop bouncing and jiggling, I swear I'm gonna shove this treaty up their-- Wait a second. Where do you shove things up a ball?",Kissenger,This isn't a productive area of discussion.
Kissenger,This isn't a productive area of discussion.,Leela,I'll keep the chopper at a safe altitude while you parachute down.
Leela,I'll keep the chopper at a safe altitude while you parachute down.,Fry,Will you push me?
Fry,Will you push me?,Leela,I already did!
Leela,I already did!,Fry,"At last, war has made me into a man."
Fry,"At last, war has made me into a man.",Kissenger,"Please, gentlemen, we must put an end to the bloodshed. We have all seen too many body bags and ball sacks."
Kissenger,"Please, gentlemen, we must put an end to the bloodshed. We have all seen too many body bags and ball sacks.",Brain,Ball #1: We cannot condone bouncing of the seventh variety.
Brain,Ball #1: We cannot condone bouncing of the seventh variety.,Bender,Bite my shiny metal--
Bender,Bite my shiny metal--,Fry,Stop! You can't say the next word.
Fry,Stop! You can't say the next word.,Bender,"Up yours, chump, I said it 906 times before lunch."
Bender,"Up yours, chump, I said it 906 times before lunch.",Fry,"Bender, if you say the A-word, you'll blow this planet straight to the H-word!"
Fry,"Bender, if you say the A-word, you'll blow this planet straight to the H-word!",Kissenger,What? What is funny?
Kissenger,What? What is funny?,Bender,I'd rather die and take everybody with me than sit here one more minute listening to these idiots talk about bouncing!
Bender,I'd rather die and take everybody with me than sit here one more minute listening to these idiots talk about bouncing!,Brain,"Ball #1: Please, stay calm. There's no need to bounce of the handle."
Brain,"Ball #1: Please, stay calm. There's no need to bounce of the handle.",Bender,"That's it, I'm saying it! A is for--"
Bender,"That's it, I'm saying it! A is for--",Brain,"Ball #1: Wait, stop! We give in to all of Earth's demands. The war is over. Our home planet is yours."
Brain,"Ball #1: Wait, stop! We give in to all of Earth's demands. The war is over. Our home planet is yours.",Fry,"Alright! Hey, wait a minute! This is your home planet? We're the evil, invading aliens?"
Fry,"Alright! Hey, wait a minute! This is your home planet? We're the evil, invading aliens?",Brain,Ball #2: Correct.
Brain,Ball #2: Correct.,Bender,Then I guess you learned a valuable lesson: Don't mess with Earth.
Bender,Then I guess you learned a valuable lesson: Don't mess with Earth.,Brain,Ball #1: May you bounce in peace.
Brain,Ball #1: May you bounce in peace.,Bender,Get the hell off my planet.
Bender,Get the hell off my planet.,Farnsworth,Wake up!
Farnsworth,Wake up!,Bender,"Hey, chumps and chumpettes. Did you get the bomb out? Can I go back to saying the word I love to say?"
Bender,"Hey, chumps and chumpettes. Did you get the bomb out? Can I go back to saying the word I love to say?",Zoidberg,I'm sorry but we couldn't remove it.
Zoidberg,I'm sorry but we couldn't remove it.,Farnsworth,"It's stuck in there with glue or something, I don't know."
Farnsworth,"It's stuck in there with glue or something, I don't know.",Bender,"Hey, I didn't blow up! Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass! Alright! I'm back in the saddle!"
Bender,"Hey, I didn't blow up! Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass! Alright! I'm back in the saddle!",Leela,We couldn't disarm the bomb so we reset the word that triggers it.
Leela,We couldn't disarm the bomb so we reset the word that triggers it.,Amy,It's from the list of words you almost never say.
Amy,It's from the list of words you almost never say.,Bender,"That's using your ass. So, what's the word?"
Bender,"That's using your ass. So, what's the word?",Hermes,We think it's better if you don't know.
Hermes,We think it's better if you don't know.,Bender,"Oh, come on. I'm not gonna say it. Please? Ooh, is it please?"
Bender,"Oh, come on. I'm not gonna say it. Please? Ooh, is it please?",Fry,No.
Fry,No.,Bender,"Hm, words I never say. Oh, I know! Thanks!"
Bender,"Hm, words I never say. Oh, I know! Thanks!",Leela,"Bender, stop trying to destroy the world."
Leela,"Bender, stop trying to destroy the world.",Bender,"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it sorry? No. Fun-derful? Uh, non-alcoholic?"
Bender,"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it sorry? No. Fun-derful? Uh, non-alcoholic?",Amy,Quit it!
Amy,Quit it!,Fry,Bender!
Fry,Bender!,Hermes,"Stop it, mon!"
Hermes,"Stop it, mon!",Zoidberg,Enough already!
Zoidberg,Enough already!,Bender,I'm alright!
Bender,I'm alright!,Doctorbot,Notify his survivors.
Doctorbot,Notify his survivors.,Bender,B-E-N-D-E-R! Be-ender! Sayin' B-E-N-D-ER--
Bender,B-E-N-D-E-R! Be-ender! Sayin' B-E-N-D-ER--,Leela,You buy one pound of underwear and you're on their list forever.
Leela,You buy one pound of underwear and you're on their list forever.,Hermes,And for Bender-- Uh-oh! A black-bordered envelope.
Hermes,And for Bender-- Uh-oh! A black-bordered envelope.,Amy,"Oh, no! Someone you know must've died."
Amy,"Oh, no! Someone you know must've died.",Bender,"Oh, no! My uncle Vladimir."
Bender,"Oh, no! My uncle Vladimir.",Fry,"Oh, I'm sorry, Bender. When's the funeral?"
Fry,"Oh, I'm sorry, Bender. When's the funeral?",Bender,"C'mon, it'll be fun!"
Bender,"C'mon, it'll be fun!",Bender,"Uh, pardon me, my good simpleton. Could you take us to yon castle?"
Bender,"Uh, pardon me, my good simpleton. Could you take us to yon castle?",Robot,#1: Some say unholy things happen up there.
Robot,#1: Some say unholy things happen up there.,Robot,#2: For example: All of us say that.
Robot,#2: For example: All of us say that.,Farnsworth,Fuf! Superstitious robot mumbo-jumbo.
Farnsworth,Fuf! Superstitious robot mumbo-jumbo.,Robot,"#2, perhaps not! With all your modern science are you any closer to understanding the mystery of how a robot walks or talks?"
Robot,"#2, perhaps not! With all your modern science are you any closer to understanding the mystery of how a robot walks or talks?",Farnsworth,The circuit diagram is right here on the inside of your case.
Farnsworth,The circuit diagram is right here on the inside of your case.,Robot,#2: I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe.
Robot,#2: I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe.,Robot,#2: I will go this far and no further.
Robot,#2: I will go this far and no further.,Preacherbot,I now commend Vladimir's remains to the earth. Filings to filings; rust to rust.
Preacherbot,I now commend Vladimir's remains to the earth. Filings to filings; rust to rust.,Execu-Tor,"To my lazy, spoiled son, Tandy, who never learned the value of a dollar, I leave my entire $10 million fortune."
Execu-Tor,"To my lazy, spoiled son, Tandy, who never learned the value of a dollar, I leave my entire $10 million fortune.",Tandy,Is that a lot?
Tandy,Is that a lot?,Execu-Tor,"And to my loving nephew, Bender, assuming he's not responsible for my death, I leave my castle."
Execu-Tor,"And to my loving nephew, Bender, assuming he's not responsible for my death, I leave my castle.",Bender,Yes! Let's stay there tonight.
Bender,Yes! Let's stay there tonight.,Execu-Tor,On condition that he spend one night within its walls.
Execu-Tor,On condition that he spend one night within its walls.,Bender,"Oh, man, there's always a catch!"
Bender,"Oh, man, there's always a catch!",Bender,"Ah! I got a good vibe from this place: Nice long dinner table, quiet, well-behaved spiders, graveyard-adjacent. Yep! It's gonna be--"
Bender,"Ah! I got a good vibe from this place: Nice long dinner table, quiet, well-behaved spiders, graveyard-adjacent. Yep! It's gonna be--",Leela,What is it?
Leela,What is it?,Bender,"That painting, the eyes are watching me!"
Bender,"That painting, the eyes are watching me!",Farnsworth,It has motor eye sensors attached to motion detectors.
Farnsworth,It has motor eye sensors attached to motion detectors.,Bender,What's that?
Bender,What's that?,Zoidberg,"I don't know, but it's infectious!"
Zoidberg,"I don't know, but it's infectious!",Bender,"No doubt about it, this place is haunted."
Bender,"No doubt about it, this place is haunted.",Hermes,"Don't be silly, mon. The last ghost died over 200 years ago."
Hermes,"Don't be silly, mon. The last ghost died over 200 years ago.",Bender,ghost. But robot ghosts?
Bender,ghost. But robot ghosts?,Leela,What does it mean?
Leela,What does it mean?,Bender,Uncle Vladimir!
Bender,Uncle Vladimir!,Vladimir-Ghost,"Come, Bender. You'll like being dead!"
Vladimir-Ghost,"Come, Bender. You'll like being dead!",Bender,That's what they said about being alive.
Bender,That's what they said about being alive.,Robot,"Ghosts: Join us! Join us! Join us, Bender!"
Robot,"Ghosts: Join us! Join us! Join us, Bender!",Farnsworth,"Just as I suspected. These robots were buried in improperly-shielded coffins. Their programming leaked into the castles wiring through this old, abandoned modem allowing them to project themselves as holograms."
Farnsworth,"Just as I suspected. These robots were buried in improperly-shielded coffins. Their programming leaked into the castles wiring through this old, abandoned modem allowing them to project themselves as holograms.",Hermes,Of course! It was so obvious!
Hermes,Of course! It was so obvious!,Farnsworth,"Yes, that sequence of words I said made perfect sense. We really should tell Bender there's nothing to be afraid of."
Farnsworth,"Yes, that sequence of words I said made perfect sense. We really should tell Bender there's nothing to be afraid of.",Bender,Nooo!
Bender,Nooo!,Fry,"He's OK! Quick, does anyone have any liquor?"
Fry,"He's OK! Quick, does anyone have any liquor?",Leela,"Bender, what happened?"
Leela,"Bender, what happened?",Bender,"Somebody tried to run me over. And not with a normal hover-car. It crept along the ground on round, rubber feet, like a wolf!"
Bender,"Somebody tried to run me over. And not with a normal hover-car. It crept along the ground on round, rubber feet, like a wolf!",Fry,"Poor Bender, you're seeing things. You've been drinking too much, or too little, I forget how it works with you. Anyway, you haven't drunk exactly the right amount."
Fry,"Poor Bender, you're seeing things. You've been drinking too much, or too little, I forget how it works with you. Anyway, you haven't drunk exactly the right amount.",Amy,Maybe he has. Look at these tracks.
Amy,Maybe he has. Look at these tracks.,Leela,I think Bender may be telling the truth.
Leela,I think Bender may be telling the truth.,Zoidberg,"Bender, you look awful. I prescribe make-up. Here. It just so happens I have my Mary Kay sample case!"
Zoidberg,"Bender, you look awful. I prescribe make-up. Here. It just so happens I have my Mary Kay sample case!",Bender,"Ah, I just need sleep. I had nightmares all night about cars running people over."
Bender,"Ah, I just need sleep. I had nightmares all night about cars running people over.",Zoidberg,"people dream of a fresh, new look. And Mary Kay can make those dreams come true."
Zoidberg,"people dream of a fresh, new look. And Mary Kay can make those dreams come true.",Leela,There was a hit-and-run by the robot porno theatre.
Leela,There was a hit-and-run by the robot porno theatre.,Bender,Robot porno theatre? I was in that ... general area last night. Whoever ran me down out on the moors must've followed me back here.
Bender,Robot porno theatre? I was in that ... general area last night. Whoever ran me down out on the moors must've followed me back here.,Hermes,"Bender, mon, no one's trying to run you over. Stop being a big, hallucinating baby."
Hermes,"Bender, mon, no one's trying to run you over. Stop being a big, hallucinating baby.",Bender,I scared!
Bender,I scared!,Vandal,#1: I don't know which I like more: Smashing cars or smashing faces.
Vandal,#1: I don't know which I like more: Smashing cars or smashing faces.,Vandal,#2 Did you hear something?
Vandal,#2 Did you hear something?,Vandal,"#1: Ah, it was probably just a golden marmoset."
Vandal,"#1: Ah, it was probably just a golden marmoset.",Vandal,#2: That don't sound like no golden marmoset I ever heard.
Vandal,#2: That don't sound like no golden marmoset I ever heard.,Vandal,#1: Made it!
Vandal,#1: Made it!,Vandal,"#2: So anyway, what're you wearing tomorrow?"
Vandal,"#2: So anyway, what're you wearing tomorrow?",Bender,Transmission fluid? Where have I been? What happened?
Bender,Transmission fluid? Where have I been? What happened?,Sal,"Gets outta here, yous lousy bum!"
Sal,"Gets outta here, yous lousy bum!",Bender,"Please, I'm scared."
Bender,"Please, I'm scared.",Sal,"We're all scared, it's the human condition. Why do you thinks I put on this tough-guy facade? Now beat it!"
Sal,"We're all scared, it's the human condition. Why do you thinks I put on this tough-guy facade? Now beat it!",Bender,"I passed out around midnight, which is much earlier that usual, and when I woke up I found these in my chest cabinet."
Bender,"I passed out around midnight, which is much earlier that usual, and when I woke up I found these in my chest cabinet.",Fry,"Aw, relax, buddy. You were probably just shooting some big, fuzzy craps."
Fry,"Aw, relax, buddy. You were probably just shooting some big, fuzzy craps.",Bender,"No, I think I may have hurt someone. Oh, Lord! I'm on the verge of a nervous meltdown."
Bender,"No, I think I may have hurt someone. Oh, Lord! I'm on the verge of a nervous meltdown.",Fry,"Jeez, Bender, you're scaring me. You're going wacko!"
Fry,"Jeez, Bender, you're scaring me. You're going wacko!",Bender,"You're right, I need professional help. And damn the expense."
Bender,"You're right, I need professional help. And damn the expense.",Bender,Damn the expense!
Bender,Damn the expense!,Gypsy,"My friend, you have nothing to worry about. Except a nightmare-ish life of unremitting horror!"
Gypsy,"My friend, you have nothing to worry about. Except a nightmare-ish life of unremitting horror!",Bender,Phew!
Bender,Phew!,Gypsy,"For, you see, you are a were-car."
Gypsy,"For, you see, you are a were-car.",Bender,A were-car?
Bender,A were-car?,Gypsy,The car that ran you down on the moors was also a were-car. It beamed a virus to you through its demonic headlights.
Gypsy,The car that ran you down on the moors was also a were-car. It beamed a virus to you through its demonic headlights.,Leela,That's crazy!
Leela,That's crazy!,Gypsy,"Yes. So crazy that it must be true! Each midnight, when your clock resets to zero, your hardware reconfigures into a murderous, four-wheeled car."
Gypsy,"Yes. So crazy that it must be true! Each midnight, when your clock resets to zero, your hardware reconfigures into a murderous, four-wheeled car.",Bender,I can't keep running people over. I'm not famous enough to get away with it. Can't you help me?
Bender,I can't keep running people over. I'm not famous enough to get away with it. Can't you help me?,Gypsy,Yes. But you must be willing to pay a terrible price.
Gypsy,Yes. But you must be willing to pay a terrible price.,Bender,"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Bender,"Yeah, yeah, yeah.",Gypsy,Follow me.
Gypsy,Follow me.,Gypsy,"According to this ancient read-me file, your only hope is to destroy the original were-car."
Gypsy,"According to this ancient read-me file, your only hope is to destroy the original were-car.",Bender,I'm with you.
Bender,I'm with you.,Gypsy,"In its death throes, the dread car will beam out the virus's uninstall program, thus ridding you of the curse."
Gypsy,"In its death throes, the dread car will beam out the virus's uninstall program, thus ridding you of the curse.",Bender,And otherwise I can never die?
Bender,And otherwise I can never die?,Gypsy,Who said that? Sure you can die. You want to die?
Gypsy,Who said that? Sure you can die. You want to die?,Bender,No! I wanna live! There's still too many things I don't own!
Bender,No! I wanna live! There's still too many things I don't own!,Gypsy,"Then live on, forever cursed. Each night, your attacks will become more gruesome until, one dark night, you are doomed to kill your dearest friend."
Gypsy,"Then live on, forever cursed. Each night, your attacks will become more gruesome until, one dark night, you are doomed to kill your dearest friend.",Fry,I wouldn't wanna be me right now.
Fry,I wouldn't wanna be me right now.,Gypsy,"Uh, could one of you just-- Ah, forget it. I'll just sleep here."
Gypsy,"Uh, could one of you just-- Ah, forget it. I'll just sleep here.",Leela,There. No rampaging for you tonight.
Leela,There. No rampaging for you tonight.,Bender,me to the wall?
Bender,me to the wall?,Leela,"Just relax, Bender. Tomorrow we'll pry you down, have a nice breakfast and then go hunt down and slaughter that ancient evil."
Leela,"Just relax, Bender. Tomorrow we'll pry you down, have a nice breakfast and then go hunt down and slaughter that ancient evil.",Fry,"It'll be a rich, full day."
Fry,"It'll be a rich, full day.",Leela,"Well, goodnight. I'm gonna go make my dinners for the next month and freeze them."
Leela,"Well, goodnight. I'm gonna go make my dinners for the next month and freeze them.",Fry,"Bender, no!"
Fry,"Bender, no!",Leela,"Fry, stay back!"
Leela,"Fry, stay back!",Fry,was your best friend. What kind of two-timing kill-mobile are you?
Fry,was your best friend. What kind of two-timing kill-mobile are you?,Fry,was me. But he went straight for you. He didn't even try to second-degree murder me.
Fry,was me. But he went straight for you. He didn't even try to second-degree murder me.,Leela,Could you give me some help? I think Bender crushed my foot.
Leela,Could you give me some help? I think Bender crushed my foot.,Fry,Stop rubbing it in!
Fry,Stop rubbing it in!,Bender,"Oh, God! Fry, I'm so glad to see you. I didn't hurt you, did I?"
Bender,"Oh, God! Fry, I'm so glad to see you. I didn't hurt you, did I?",Fry,"best friend, Leela?"
Fry,"best friend, Leela?",Bender,over?
Bender,over?,Leela,"It was very sweet of you, Bender."
Leela,"It was very sweet of you, Bender.",Bender,"Fry, it doesn't mean anything. I have love enough for two."
Bender,"Fry, it doesn't mean anything. I have love enough for two.",Fry,"Words. Nothing but sweet, sweet words that turn into bitter, orange wax in my ears."
Fry,"Words. Nothing but sweet, sweet words that turn into bitter, orange wax in my ears.",Leela,"Enough with the feelings, you two. If we're gonna cure Bender we've got to go back to the castle and hunt down the original were-car."
Leela,"Enough with the feelings, you two. If we're gonna cure Bender we've got to go back to the castle and hunt down the original were-car.",Fry,"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Fry,"Yeah, yeah, yeah.",Leela,"Cursed, got it."
Leela,"Cursed, got it.",Bender,Whatever.
Bender,Whatever.,Leela,The tracks lead here.
Leela,The tracks lead here.,Fry,"Thanks, eagle eye."
Fry,"Thanks, eagle eye.",Leela,"Now it's daylight, so he should be in robot form. But be careful: Many robots are stupid and violent."
Leela,"Now it's daylight, so he should be in robot form. But be careful: Many robots are stupid and violent.",Bender,"I wish I was stupid and violent. Then we'd see what's what, I'd pound him till--"
Bender,"I wish I was stupid and violent. Then we'd see what's what, I'd pound him till--",Yokelbot,"Get ye to your houses, ye ignorant villagers."
Yokelbot,"Get ye to your houses, ye ignorant villagers.",Leela,"We are not ignorant villagers, we're sophisticated New New Yorkers. Whup his butt!"
Leela,"We are not ignorant villagers, we're sophisticated New New Yorkers. Whup his butt!",Yokelbot,Stop! What are ye doing?
Yokelbot,Stop! What are ye doing?,Bender,"We're whaling on the original were-car, which is you, you jerk."
Bender,"We're whaling on the original were-car, which is you, you jerk.",Yokelbot,Ye think me be he?
Yokelbot,Ye think me be he?,Yokelbot,"Nee. I mean, no. I was given the curse many a year ago while on a bird-watching trip to the Arctic..."
Yokelbot,"Nee. I mean, no. I was given the curse many a year ago while on a bird-watching trip to the Arctic...",Yokelbot,"I was attacked by a vicious, motorised sled. The natives called it The Abominable Snowmobile."
Yokelbot,"I was attacked by a vicious, motorised sled. The natives called it The Abominable Snowmobile.",Inuitbot,"Yes, it's true. I ran over that bird-watching jerk and a hundred others. Even my best friend from aromatherapy school."
Inuitbot,"Yes, it's true. I ran over that bird-watching jerk and a hundred others. Even my best friend from aromatherapy school.",Fry,I once had a best friend who liked to smell things with me.
Fry,I once had a best friend who liked to smell things with me.,Inuitbot,"Alas, I'm afraid I'm not the original were-car. I received the curse while taking a learning annex class from a famous robot actor."
Inuitbot,"Alas, I'm afraid I'm not the original were-car. I received the curse while taking a learning annex class from a famous robot actor.",Inuitbot,You know him as Calculon.
Inuitbot,You know him as Calculon.,Calculon,"Oh, fate most cruel, would that my boundless acting skills would avail me a sword with which to slay this wretched curse."
Calculon,"Oh, fate most cruel, would that my boundless acting skills would avail me a sword with which to slay this wretched curse.",Bender,Let's kick him some more.
Bender,Let's kick him some more.,Calculon,It all began one fateful night a thousand years ago.
Calculon,It all began one fateful night a thousand years ago.,Bender,years old? Your bio says you're 27!
Bender,years old? Your bio says you're 27!,Calculon,"Lies! I change my identity and upgrade my appearance every few decades to avoid suspicion. I was all of history's great acting robots: Acting Unit 0.8, Thespo-mat, David Duchovny!"
Calculon,"Lies! I change my identity and upgrade my appearance every few decades to avoid suspicion. I was all of history's great acting robots: Acting Unit 0.8, Thespo-mat, David Duchovny!",Fry,"Look, are you the original were-car or not?"
Fry,"Look, are you the original were-car or not?",Calculon,by the original were-car.
Calculon,by the original were-car.,Bender,"Give us a name, MacButt!"
Bender,"Give us a name, MacButt!",Calculon,"The year was 2019, and I was just a lowly robot arm..."
Calculon,"The year was 2019, and I was just a lowly robot arm...",Calculon,"... a savage, intelligent military vehicle built from the most evil parts of the most evil cars in all the world. The steering wheel from Hitler's staff car, the left-turn signal from Charles Manson's VW, the windshield wipers from that car that played Knight Rider."
Calculon,"... a savage, intelligent military vehicle built from the most evil parts of the most evil cars in all the world. The steering wheel from Hitler's staff car, the left-turn signal from Charles Manson's VW, the windshield wipers from that car that played Knight Rider.",Fry,Knight Rider wasn't evil.
Fry,Knight Rider wasn't evil.,Calculon,His windshield wipers were. It didn't come up much in the show though. Anyway...
Calculon,His windshield wipers were. It didn't come up much in the show though. Anyway...,Calculon,"For, you see, it was pure evil."
Calculon,"For, you see, it was pure evil.",Leela,So what happened to Project Satan?
Leela,So what happened to Project Satan?,Calculon,"It's either in Paris, or much more likely..."
Calculon,"It's either in Paris, or much more likely...",Calculon,...still in the abandoned automotive lab.
Calculon,...still in the abandoned automotive lab.,Leela,You guys distract the were-car and I'll kill it by plugging its exhaust pipe with this silver potato.
Leela,You guys distract the were-car and I'll kill it by plugging its exhaust pipe with this silver potato.,Bender,"Psst, there it is."
Bender,"Psst, there it is.",Leela,Don't be afraid. We know what you are.
Leela,Don't be afraid. We know what you are.,Project,Satan: You do?
Project,Satan: You do?,Leela,Would you like us to ... put you out of your misery?
Leela,Would you like us to ... put you out of your misery?,Project,Satan: Misery? What misery? I love killing people! Squishing them till their organs squirt out like chunky mustard.
Project,Satan: Misery? What misery? I love killing people! Squishing them till their organs squirt out like chunky mustard.,Bender,"Look, everyone loves killing people, but I don't wanna hurt my friends."
Bender,"Look, everyone loves killing people, but I don't wanna hurt my friends.",Leela,"Oh, no! It's midnight."
Leela,"Oh, no! It's midnight.",Bender,"Hey, this is starting to feel pretty good!"
Bender,"Hey, this is starting to feel pretty good!",Leela,"Fry, distract him."
Leela,"Fry, distract him.",Fry,"Hey, Project Satan! Over here! I'm a blind pedestrian! 20 points!"
Fry,"Hey, Project Satan! Over here! I'm a blind pedestrian! 20 points!",Leela,"Oh, no! There's no exhaust pipe!"
Leela,"Oh, no! There's no exhaust pipe!",Project,Satan Take whichever one you want.
Project,Satan Take whichever one you want.,Bender,"Oh, boy! I feel like a car in a candy store!"
Bender,"Oh, boy! I feel like a car in a candy store!",Fry,Too tight! Too tight!
Fry,Too tight! Too tight!,Leela,Whoa!
Leela,Whoa!,Bender,Uh-oh.
Bender,Uh-oh.,Leela,"Bender, you're cured! But what happened to Fry?"
Leela,"Bender, you're cured! But what happened to Fry?",Bender,I must've killed him. He's my best friend and I killed him. I never felt so empty inside.
Bender,I must've killed him. He's my best friend and I killed him. I never felt so empty inside.,Fry,Here's to you.
Fry,Here's to you.,Bender,"Hey, that's my last beer, you bastard. I'll kill you!"
Bender,"Hey, that's my last beer, you bastard. I'll kill you!",Fry,"I'll kill you too, buddy. I'll kill you too!"
Fry,"I'll kill you too, buddy. I'll kill you too!",Fry,"Giant Space Robot, this is Captain Fry of the USS Planet Express Ship. We come in peace."
Fry,"Giant Space Robot, this is Captain Fry of the USS Planet Express Ship. We come in peace.",Bender,Tough luck!
Bender,Tough luck!,Fry,"Well, we destroyed the toy spaceship. Now what are we gonna do?"
Fry,"Well, we destroyed the toy spaceship. Now what are we gonna do?",Bender,"Hey, look! The keys to the real spaceship."
Bender,"Hey, look! The keys to the real spaceship.",Fry,Do you think we should?
Fry,Do you think we should?,Bender,"Yes, I do."
Bender,"Yes, I do.",Farnsworth,"Leela, have you seen the keys to the spaceship?"
Farnsworth,"Leela, have you seen the keys to the spaceship?",Leela,I must've left them onboard.
Leela,I must've left them onboard.,Leela,Relax. The ship's not going anywhere. I anchored it with the unbreakable diamond tether.
Leela,Relax. The ship's not going anywhere. I anchored it with the unbreakable diamond tether.,Amy,"Oh, no!"
Amy,"Oh, no!",Hermes,Sweet ghost of Babylon.
Hermes,Sweet ghost of Babylon.,Zoidberg,This isn't good for Zoidberg!
Zoidberg,This isn't good for Zoidberg!,Fry,"Woo, yeah!"
Fry,"Woo, yeah!",Bender,Woo-hoo!
Bender,Woo-hoo!,Bender,"Hey, Fry, I'm steering with my ass!"
Bender,"Hey, Fry, I'm steering with my ass!",Fry,That's the best thing I ever saw!
Fry,That's the best thing I ever saw!,Italian,#1: You stink!
Italian,#1: You stink!,Italian,"#1: Alright, yeah!"
Italian,"#1: Alright, yeah!",Italian,#2: We like you a lot!
Italian,#2: We like you a lot!,Fry,That was great!
Fry,That was great!,Bender,And that's how we learned our lesson!
Bender,And that's how we learned our lesson!,Farnsworth,You've gone too far this time -- all three of you!
Farnsworth,You've gone too far this time -- all three of you!,Leela,What did I do?
Leela,What did I do?,Farnsworth,"You left the keys in the ignition. I mean, look at those two. Wasn't it obvious what would happen?"
Farnsworth,"You left the keys in the ignition. I mean, look at those two. Wasn't it obvious what would happen?",Fry,"Yeah, Leela."
Fry,"Yeah, Leela.",Bender,We're all very disappointed in you.
Bender,We're all very disappointed in you.,Farnsworth,"I should fire you three right now, but I'm just not that cold-hearted."
Farnsworth,"I should fire you three right now, but I'm just not that cold-hearted.",Hermes,You're all fired.
Hermes,You're all fired.,Zoidberg,Good riddance to them. Now Zoidberg is the popular one!
Zoidberg,Good riddance to them. Now Zoidberg is the popular one!,Farnsworth,"Yes, yes! Let's all talk to Zoidberg."
Farnsworth,"Yes, yes! Let's all talk to Zoidberg.",Amy,"Hey, Dr. Zoidberg, I've been thinking, do you think we could go out?"
Amy,"Hey, Dr. Zoidberg, I've been thinking, do you think we could go out?",Farnsworth,"So, Zoidberg, what's new?"
Farnsworth,"So, Zoidberg, what's new?",Zoidberg,"Oh, you know!"
Zoidberg,"Oh, you know!",Fry,"... and this picture of me and my old girlfriend, Michelle, and that ski instructor she was just friends with."
Fry,"... and this picture of me and my old girlfriend, Michelle, and that ski instructor she was just friends with.",Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Leela,"We don't need to beg, Bender. For God's sake, we're not veterans!"
Leela,"We don't need to beg, Bender. For God's sake, we're not veterans!",Fry,"Well, what do you suggest? A daring daylight robbery of Fort Knox on elephant-back? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!"
Fry,"Well, what do you suggest? A daring daylight robbery of Fort Knox on elephant-back? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!",Leela,"No, we can get jobs."
Leela,"No, we can get jobs.",Bender,But we just had jobs!
Bender,But we just had jobs!,Leela,"Fortunately, I still have our old career chips."
Leela,"Fortunately, I still have our old career chips.",Fry,Our what?
Fry,Our what?,Leela,It's how we met!
Leela,It's how we met!,Fry,And then what happened?
Fry,And then what happened?,Leela,Just give me your hand.
Leela,Just give me your hand.,Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Leela,I'd like to reapply for my old job: Counselling defrostees and assigning them careers.
Leela,I'd like to reapply for my old job: Counselling defrostees and assigning them careers.,Ipgee,"Oh, I was hoping you would come back! I even saved your poster of a chimp expressing your distaste for Mondays."
Ipgee,"Oh, I was hoping you would come back! I even saved your poster of a chimp expressing your distaste for Mondays.",Leela,"Monday Monkey lives for the weekend, sir."
Leela,"Monday Monkey lives for the weekend, sir.",Ipgee,"Calcutta, we have a problem."
Ipgee,"Calcutta, we have a problem.",Leela,Delivery boy? I must have mixed up the chips. It's a simple mi--
Leela,Delivery boy? I must have mixed up the chips. It's a simple mi--,Ipgee,"Oh, here's a cryogenic counsellor! Do you like Mondays?"
Ipgee,"Oh, here's a cryogenic counsellor! Do you like Mondays?",Fry,They're OK.
Fry,They're OK.,Ipgee,Then we'll have to redecorate your office. How do you feel about it helping to be crazy to work here but not being necessary?
Ipgee,Then we'll have to redecorate your office. How do you feel about it helping to be crazy to work here but not being necessary?,Bender,"Hey, let's see what it says about me."
Bender,"Hey, let's see what it says about me.",Ipgee,"Welcome aboard, sir."
Ipgee,"Welcome aboard, sir.",Terry,... Welcome to the world of tomorrow!
Terry,... Welcome to the world of tomorrow!,Fry,Bathroom's that way.
Fry,Bathroom's that way.,Fry,"So, while you're on the Probulator, tell me what brings you to the future."
Fry,"So, while you're on the Probulator, tell me what brings you to the future.",Man,and I figured that time was cyclical.
Man,and I figured that time was cyclical.,Fry,"Ah, the Probulator's done."
Fry,"Ah, the Probulator's done.",Man,That wasn't so bad.
Man,That wasn't so bad.,Fry,"OK, it's about to start."
Fry,"OK, it's about to start.",Bender,Kill all humans!
Bender,Kill all humans!,Terry,Dear God! He's having a heart attack!
Terry,Dear God! He's having a heart attack!,Bender,"Ah, they'll probably find a cure for that in the future."
Bender,"Ah, they'll probably find a cure for that in the future.",Terry,We have a cure for it now!
Terry,We have a cure for it now!,Bender,"Oh, good. Then you won't mind if I use this."
Bender,"Oh, good. Then you won't mind if I use this.",Fry,Nothing like a power nap.
Fry,Nothing like a power nap.,Old,"Man: Oh, flies! Flies and gorillas!"
Old,"Man: Oh, flies! Flies and gorillas!",Bender,"That Probulator sure knows how to please a man. So, what's for lunch?"
Bender,"That Probulator sure knows how to please a man. So, what's for lunch?",Fry,I ordered a pizza.
Fry,I ordered a pizza.,Leela,"Yeah, very funny. Now cough up the $12.95."
Leela,"Yeah, very funny. Now cough up the $12.95.",Fry,"Sorry, but if it's not here in half an hour, it's free."
Fry,"Sorry, but if it's not here in half an hour, it's free.",Leela,It's only been 23 minutes.
Leela,It's only been 23 minutes.,Fry3,minutes.
Fry3,minutes.,Chef,"It's only been a-23 minutes, you dumb a-cannoli. You got a problem, we can take it outside."
Chef,"It's only been a-23 minutes, you dumb a-cannoli. You got a problem, we can take it outside.",Fry,"OK, I'll fight the box. I think I can take him."
Fry,"OK, I'll fight the box. I think I can take him.",Leela,"Fry, just pay me. I still owe 30 bucks on this uniform."
Leela,"Fry, just pay me. I still owe 30 bucks on this uniform.",Chef,"35, you stupid meatball."
Chef,"35, you stupid meatball.",Bender,Who should be unfreeze next?
Bender,Who should be unfreeze next?,Fry,"Oh, my God! It's Pauly Shore!"
Fry,"Oh, my God! It's Pauly Shore!",Bender,Alright!
Bender,Alright!,Fry.,You sure caused some trouble in that bubble!
Fry.,You sure caused some trouble in that bubble!,Shore,"Rest assured, if it rhymes, I can cause trouble in it."
Shore,"Rest assured, if it rhymes, I can cause trouble in it.",Fry,"Hey, now that you're in the future, you can go live in an actual bio-dome!"
Fry,"Hey, now that you're in the future, you can go live in an actual bio-dome!",Fry,"So, how did you wind up getting frozen?"
Fry,"So, how did you wind up getting frozen?",Shore,"my intellectual curiosity re: cryogenics was peaked, and I resolved to freeze the weasel."
Shore,"my intellectual curiosity re: cryogenics was peaked, and I resolved to freeze the weasel.",Shore.,How come I'm not there?
Shore.,How come I'm not there?,Fry,I woke you up early so we could hang out and do stuff.
Fry,I woke you up early so we could hang out and do stuff.,Shore,Like what?
Shore,Like what?,Fry,I love this job.
Fry,I love this job.,Bender,Me too.
Bender,Me too.,Fry,I'll pretend to be dying of space plague.
Fry,I'll pretend to be dying of space plague.,Bender,Boo?
Bender,Boo?,Fry,Michelle!
Fry,Michelle!,Bender,"Oh, my God!"
Bender,"Oh, my God!",Michelle,Fry? Is it really you?
Michelle,Fry? Is it really you?,Fry,I don't know. Is it really you?
Fry,I don't know. Is it really you?,Michelle,What do you mean you don't know? Are you you or not?
Michelle,What do you mean you don't know? Are you you or not?,Fry,Who wants to know?
Fry,Who wants to know?,Michelle,"Oh, Fry, it is you!"
Michelle,"Oh, Fry, it is you!",Fry,"I don't get it, Michelle. The last time I saw you, you were doing great. You had just dumped me and you were well on your way to getting you life back on track. Why'd you freeze yourself?"
Fry,"I don't get it, Michelle. The last time I saw you, you were doing great. You had just dumped me and you were well on your way to getting you life back on track. Why'd you freeze yourself?",Michelle,"Oh, Fry. After you left, things took a turn for the worse. I got married."
Michelle,"Oh, Fry. After you left, things took a turn for the worse. I got married.",Fry,I'm sorry.
Fry,I'm sorry.,Michelle,I put him through law school by working as a dog walker for antisocial dogs.
Michelle,I put him through law school by working as a dog walker for antisocial dogs.,Fry,Sorry.
Fry,Sorry.,Michelle,"But soon after Charles graduated, our marriage ran into difficulties."
Michelle,"But soon after Charles graduated, our marriage ran into difficulties.",Fry,"Uh, sorry."
Fry,"Uh, sorry.",Michelle,"Desperately depressed, I turned to the one thing that could lessen my pain: A carnival. Unfortunately, a corn dog bone got lodged in the control panel of the Spizzler, and I had to ride it for eight hours."
Michelle,"Desperately depressed, I turned to the one thing that could lessen my pain: A carnival. Unfortunately, a corn dog bone got lodged in the control panel of the Spizzler, and I had to ride it for eight hours.",Fry,Sorry.
Fry,Sorry.,Michelle,But it did give me a chance to think...
Michelle,But it did give me a chance to think...,Fry,I'm sorry.
Fry,I'm sorry.,Michelle,And I remembered the last time I was truly happy; when I was with you.
Michelle,And I remembered the last time I was truly happy; when I was with you.,Fry,Aww. So you froze yourself to come look for me?
Fry,Aww. So you froze yourself to come look for me?,Michelle,"No, I did it to get a fresh start. I didn't know what had happened to you -- no one did. The police were going to conduct a search but your parents felt it was a waste of taxpayer money."
Michelle,"No, I did it to get a fresh start. I didn't know what had happened to you -- no one did. The police were going to conduct a search but your parents felt it was a waste of taxpayer money.",Fry,"That's the same reason they kept me out of school. So, no one even cared that I was gone?"
Fry,"That's the same reason they kept me out of school. So, no one even cared that I was gone?",Michelle,Not really. Except for one person.
Michelle,Not really. Except for one person.,Fry,Who was it?
Fry,Who was it?,Michelle,Everything is so different.
Michelle,Everything is so different.,Fry,Not everything. There's still a roach problem.
Fry,Not everything. There's still a roach problem.,Michelle,Ew!
Michelle,Ew!,Michelle,Eurgh.
Michelle,Eurgh.,Fry,"Nowadays, people aren't interested in art that's not tattooed on fat guys."
Fry,"Nowadays, people aren't interested in art that's not tattooed on fat guys.",Sal,I'm on loan from the Louvre.
Sal,I'm on loan from the Louvre.,Leela,"Please, Professor. Give us our jobs back. We deserve another chance."
Leela,"Please, Professor. Give us our jobs back. We deserve another chance.",Bender,"... Og, gorilla emperor of Earth!"
Bender,"... Og, gorilla emperor of Earth!",Farnsworth,"I'm sorry, Og, but I've got a new crew."
Farnsworth,"I'm sorry, Og, but I've got a new crew.",Farnsworth,"So, how was delivery to Fantasy Planet, where everyone's fantasies come to life?"
Farnsworth,"So, how was delivery to Fantasy Planet, where everyone's fantasies come to life?",Amy,Great!
Amy,Great!,Hermes,Organised!
Hermes,Organised!,Zoidberg,"For one beautiful night, I knew what it was to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honoured."
Zoidberg,"For one beautiful night, I knew what it was to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honoured.",Farnsworth,"You see, Og? Everything's running smoothly, yes. And with Fry fired, I can finally leave my jigsaw puzzles out without him eating the pieces."
Farnsworth,"You see, Og? Everything's running smoothly, yes. And with Fry fired, I can finally leave my jigsaw puzzles out without him eating the pieces.",Leela,Forget about Fry. You can hire us back and he'd never have to know.
Leela,Forget about Fry. You can hire us back and he'd never have to know.,Fry,"Hey, guys."
Fry,"Hey, guys.",Leela,"Oh, uh, hey, Fry!"
Leela,"Oh, uh, hey, Fry!",Bender,"So, as Leela was saying, Fry can go shove a big, old-- Ow!"
Bender,"So, as Leela was saying, Fry can go shove a big, old-- Ow!",Fry,Hermes and Amy.
Fry,Hermes and Amy.,Michelle,Nice to meet you.
Michelle,Nice to meet you.,Fry,And this is Dr. Zoidberg.
Fry,And this is Dr. Zoidberg.,Hermes,"Dating you ex, Fry? Have you lost all self-respect?"
Hermes,"Dating you ex, Fry? Have you lost all self-respect?",Fry,All what?
Fry,All what?,Farnsworth,"This can only end badly, Fry. Kids, a house--"
Farnsworth,"This can only end badly, Fry. Kids, a house--",Bender,A home invasion by a former roommate.
Bender,A home invasion by a former roommate.,Fry,"But things are different this time. Before, she was demanding and possessive. But now she wants me to do stuff and stay with her all the time."
Fry,"But things are different this time. Before, she was demanding and possessive. But now she wants me to do stuff and stay with her all the time.",Zoidberg,"There you go, dearies."
Zoidberg,"There you go, dearies.",Michelle,"It's a relief to meet you, Amy. I'm just having a hard time adjusting to all the strange stuff here in the future."
Michelle,"It's a relief to meet you, Amy. I'm just having a hard time adjusting to all the strange stuff here in the future.",Amy,I'm from Mars.
Amy,I'm from Mars.,Michelle,I feel so out of place here. I don't understand why Fry fits in so well.
Michelle,I feel so out of place here. I don't understand why Fry fits in so well.,Leela,fit in back in your time.
Leela,fit in back in your time.,Michelle,That's true. But I used to fit in really well.
Michelle,That's true. But I used to fit in really well.,Zoidberg,"Then good luck, sister."
Zoidberg,"Then good luck, sister.",Michelle,"Don't take this the wrong way, Fry, but your friends are a bunch of freaks."
Michelle,"Don't take this the wrong way, Fry, but your friends are a bunch of freaks.",Fry,"Yeah, they're great, huh?"
Fry,"Yeah, they're great, huh?",Michelle,"I just don't belong here. I don't know anyone, I can't find a vanishing cream that doesn't make me actually vanish. I don't even have a job."
Michelle,"I just don't belong here. I don't know anyone, I can't find a vanishing cream that doesn't make me actually vanish. I don't even have a job.",Fry,What are you scared of? It's just like getting your hand pierced.
Fry,What are you scared of? It's just like getting your hand pierced.,Michelle,"This world is horrible. Let's start over, Fry. We'll go someplace where all we have is each other."
Michelle,"This world is horrible. Let's start over, Fry. We'll go someplace where all we have is each other.",Fry,"Ooh, romantic. I'll tell Bender to meet us there."
Fry,"Ooh, romantic. I'll tell Bender to meet us there.",Michelle,The future.
Michelle,The future.,Fry,"Whoa, whoa, girl. I thought you were talking about one of those motels where the bed is shaped like stuff."
Fry,"Whoa, whoa, girl. I thought you were talking about one of those motels where the bed is shaped like stuff.",Michelle,I love you. Don't you love me?
Michelle,I love you. Don't you love me?,Fry,love a woman. But this seems like a big step.
Fry,love a woman. But this seems like a big step.,Michelle,"Fry, why must you analyse everything with your relentless logic? Nothing matters but our love."
Michelle,"Fry, why must you analyse everything with your relentless logic? Nothing matters but our love.",Fry,You're right. Let's do this now and let's never regret it.
Fry,You're right. Let's do this now and let's never regret it.,Fry,"Michelle, I don't regret this. But I both rue and lament it."
Fry,"Michelle, I don't regret this. But I both rue and lament it.",Fry,The year 4000 is severely disappointing. I miss the year 3000 when life was simple and brains flew through space and everyone ate lasers.
Fry,The year 4000 is severely disappointing. I miss the year 3000 when life was simple and brains flew through space and everyone ate lasers.,Michelle,It's not that bad. Fate brought us together and now fate brought us here.
Michelle,It's not that bad. Fate brought us together and now fate brought us here.,Fry,brought us here.
Fry,brought us here.,Michelle,"Whine some more, Fry, I really find that attractive in a man. Now come on, build us a shelter."
Michelle,"Whine some more, Fry, I really find that attractive in a man. Now come on, build us a shelter.",Fry,"Alright, fine. Everything else sucks. At least we can have a nice place to live."
Fry,"Alright, fine. Everything else sucks. At least we can have a nice place to live.",Fry,There!
Fry,There!,Michelle,You expect me to live in a tiny little hole?
Michelle,You expect me to live in a tiny little hole?,Fry,"It'd be deeper, but I'm standing on a gopher."
Fry,"It'd be deeper, but I'm standing on a gopher.",Michelle,"Oh, look! Some little kids."
Michelle,"Oh, look! Some little kids.",Fry,We're saved!
Fry,We're saved!,Butch,"I'm Butch, leader of this place. I took your hole and you can't do nothing about it."
Butch,"I'm Butch, leader of this place. I took your hole and you can't do nothing about it.",Michelle,OK.
Michelle,OK.,Fry,"Mighty sir, we have nowhere to go. Could we please join your society?"
Fry,"Mighty sir, we have nowhere to go. Could we please join your society?",Butch,"Well, alright. But no interfering with our grand works."
Butch,"Well, alright. But no interfering with our grand works.",Fry,"I tell you, that Butch runs a pretty good civilisation. I think I'll enjoy serving under him."
Fry,"I tell you, that Butch runs a pretty good civilisation. I think I'll enjoy serving under him.",Michelle,"You know your problem, Fry? You're not ambitious. You should be chief."
Michelle,"You know your problem, Fry? You're not ambitious. You should be chief.",Fry,"What do I need, ulcers?"
Fry,"What do I need, ulcers?",Michelle,But I want power. I'm tired of the chief's girlfriend lording it over me with her fancy coyote hide.
Michelle,But I want power. I'm tired of the chief's girlfriend lording it over me with her fancy coyote hide.,Fry,"Alright, alright. If it'll make you happy, I'll overthrow society."
Fry,"Alright, alright. If it'll make you happy, I'll overthrow society.",Butch,On what grounds do you challenge my authority?
Butch,On what grounds do you challenge my authority?,Fry,"Well, I'm older than you. I can beat you up."
Fry,"Well, I'm older than you. I can beat you up.",Kid,"#1: Yeah, I'll bet he could."
Kid,"#1: Yeah, I'll bet he could.",Butch's,Girlfriend: He's got arm hair.
Butch's,Girlfriend: He's got arm hair.,Butch,"Alright, grandpa. There's only one way to settle this: Death rolling!"
Butch,"Alright, grandpa. There's only one way to settle this: Death rolling!",Fry,What's death rolling?
Fry,What's death rolling?,Orowheat,It's like skateboarding.
Orowheat,It's like skateboarding.,Ice-V,"Except half the time, someone dies."
Ice-V,"Except half the time, someone dies.",Fry,"Oh, so it's a little safer than skateboarding."
Fry,"Oh, so it's a little safer than skateboarding.",Butch,Last one holding the bandana's the new leader.
Butch,Last one holding the bandana's the new leader.,Michelle,"My mother always said you were a loser, Fry. Now get out there and prove her wrong."
Michelle,"My mother always said you were a loser, Fry. Now get out there and prove her wrong.",Fry,Beth said that?
Fry,Beth said that?,Butch's,"Girlfriend: Achat, shtayim, shalosh!"
Butch's,"Girlfriend: Achat, shtayim, shalosh!",Butch,My knee. I scraped it!
Butch,My knee. I scraped it!,Fry,I won! I'm the new chief! I'm the tallest and I weigh the most!
Fry,I won! I'm the new chief! I'm the tallest and I weigh the most!,Butch,"Hand it over, you giant idiot."
Butch,"Hand it over, you giant idiot.",Butch's,"Girlfriend: Hey, Butch, your mom's here."
Butch's,"Girlfriend: Hey, Butch, your mom's here.",Butch,"Aw, man."
Butch,"Aw, man.",Butch's,"Mom: Come on, kids. You're late for Hebrew school."
Butch's,"Mom: Come on, kids. You're late for Hebrew school.",Orowheat,I don't wanna go.
Orowheat,I don't wanna go.,Butch's,Girlfriend: Every Monday and Wednesday's the same thing.
Butch's,Girlfriend: Every Monday and Wednesday's the same thing.,Fry,"I find this post-apocalyptic wasteland very confusing. Seriously, I'm weirded out."
Fry,"I find this post-apocalyptic wasteland very confusing. Seriously, I'm weirded out.",Michelle,That's because you're a loser. You were a loser in the year 2000 and you're a loser in the year 4000.
Michelle,That's because you're a loser. You were a loser in the year 2000 and you're a loser in the year 4000.,Fry,"Yeah, but in the year 3000, I had it all. Several friends, a low-paying job, a bed in a robot's closet. I envied no man. But you wrecked everything."
Fry,"Yeah, but in the year 3000, I had it all. Several friends, a low-paying job, a bed in a robot's closet. I envied no man. But you wrecked everything.",Michelle,"Quit standing up for yourself, Fry. When we get back to the hole we are going to have a long, boring talk about our relationship!"
Michelle,"Quit standing up for yourself, Fry. When we get back to the hole we are going to have a long, boring talk about our relationship!",Fry,I'm leaving you.
Fry,I'm leaving you.,Fry,There must be people somewhere.
Fry,There must be people somewhere.,Fry,But? What's happening?
Fry,But? What's happening?,Leela,"Fry, thank God we found you."
Leela,"Fry, thank God we found you.",Fry,Leela? What are you guys doing here in the year 4000?
Fry,Leela? What are you guys doing here in the year 4000?,Leela,It's not the year 4000.
Leela,It's not the year 4000.,Bender,"You were only frozen for two days. Uh, by the way, I broke your bed."
Bender,"You were only frozen for two days. Uh, by the way, I broke your bed.",Farnsworth,You were in Pauly Shore's tube and they were delivering it to his movie screening.
Farnsworth,You were in Pauly Shore's tube and they were delivering it to his movie screening.,Leela,"But, when they noticed you weren't him, they chucked you in a ditch."
Leela,"But, when they noticed you weren't him, they chucked you in a ditch.",Fry,So you're saying these aren't the decaying ruins of New York in the year 4000?
Fry,So you're saying these aren't the decaying ruins of New York in the year 4000?,Farnsworth,You wish! You're in Los Angeles!
Farnsworth,You wish! You're in Los Angeles!,Fry,But there was this gang of 10-year-olds with guns.
Fry,But there was this gang of 10-year-olds with guns.,Leela,"Exactly, you're in L.A."
Leela,"Exactly, you're in L.A.",Fry,But everyone is driving around in cars shooting at each other.
Fry,But everyone is driving around in cars shooting at each other.,Bender,That's L.A. for you.
Bender,That's L.A. for you.,Fry,But the air is green and there's no sign of civilisation whatsoever.
Fry,But the air is green and there's no sign of civilisation whatsoever.,Bender,He just won't stop with the social commentary.
Bender,He just won't stop with the social commentary.,Fry,"Michelle, baby!"
Fry,"Michelle, baby!",Michelle,"It's not working out, Fry."
Michelle,"It's not working out, Fry.",Fry,"That's it. I've had it with women. From now on, I'm concentrating on my career. Can I have my old job back?"
Fry,"That's it. I've had it with women. From now on, I'm concentrating on my career. Can I have my old job back?",Farnsworth,"Why, I've forgotten why I even fired you."
Farnsworth,"Why, I've forgotten why I even fired you.",Bender,"'Cause he destroyed your business, your home and all your possessions."
Bender,"'Cause he destroyed your business, your home and all your possessions.",Farnsworth,"Oh, that's right. Get lost!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, that's right. Get lost!",Hermes,"People, we got a problem: Little Nibbler's been coughing up hairballs."
Hermes,"People, we got a problem: Little Nibbler's been coughing up hairballs.",Leela,"Well, so has Fry. What's the big deal?"
Leela,"Well, so has Fry. What's the big deal?",Fry,He's got me beat!
Fry,He's got me beat!,Hermes,"Now we all love Nibbler, so it's only fair that we all pitch in and clean it up together. Still, I propose we make Zoidberg do it. All in favour?"
Hermes,"Now we all love Nibbler, so it's only fair that we all pitch in and clean it up together. Still, I propose we make Zoidberg do it. All in favour?",Leela,Yeah!
Leela,Yeah!,Bender,"Alright, yup."
Bender,"Alright, yup.",Hermes,All abstaining?
Hermes,All abstaining?,Leela,Dr. Zoidberg? Are you OK?
Leela,Dr. Zoidberg? Are you OK?,Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Amy,"Oh, no!"
Amy,"Oh, no!",Farnsworth,"He always seemed so full of life; laughing, singing, begging for scraps. And now this."
Farnsworth,"He always seemed so full of life; laughing, singing, begging for scraps. And now this.",Zoidberg,So that's where I left my shell.
Zoidberg,So that's where I left my shell.,Leela,I didn't know you could take this thing off.
Leela,I didn't know you could take this thing off.,Zoidberg,"It was starting to get a little cramped in there so I molted, why not? Ah, the fresh air feels good!"
Zoidberg,"It was starting to get a little cramped in there so I molted, why not? Ah, the fresh air feels good!",Farnsworth,Stop doing that!
Farnsworth,Stop doing that!,Zoidberg,So long. I'm off to toss this old shell in the dumpster and maybe pick up those potato chips Amy didn't finish yesterday.
Zoidberg,So long. I'm off to toss this old shell in the dumpster and maybe pick up those potato chips Amy didn't finish yesterday.,Amy,Those were toenail clippings.
Amy,Those were toenail clippings.,Zoidberg,A feast is a feast.
Zoidberg,A feast is a feast.,Amy,"Hey, that's my cellphone!"
Amy,"Hey, that's my cellphone!",Amy,Hello? Hello?
Amy,Hello? Hello?,Leela,What's wrong? Did you swallow your phone again?
Leela,What's wrong? Did you swallow your phone again?,Amy,Some guy's been calling and hanging up 10 times a day for a year.
Amy,Some guy's been calling and hanging up 10 times a day for a year.,Leela,Men who call too much are the worst ... I bet.
Leela,Men who call too much are the worst ... I bet.,Amy,Hello?
Amy,Hello?,Amy,Hello? Is anyone there?
Amy,Hello? Is anyone there?,Kif,Why must I be such a coward?
Kif,Why must I be such a coward?,Zapp,"It's alright. I've always thought myself as a father figure to some of my more pathetic men. Kif, old friend, let's rap."
Zapp,"It's alright. I've always thought myself as a father figure to some of my more pathetic men. Kif, old friend, let's rap.",Kif,"Well, I'm in love with this girl--"
Kif,"Well, I'm in love with this girl--",Zapp,Go on.
Zapp,Go on.,Kif,I met her a year ago...
Kif,I met her a year ago...,Kif,...when we were escaping from that cruise ship you piloted directly into a black hole.
Kif,...when we were escaping from that cruise ship you piloted directly into a black hole.,Zapp,Yes! It was in all the papers.
Zapp,Yes! It was in all the papers.,Amy,Call me.
Amy,Call me.,Zapp,"Uh-huh, uh-huh. Mm-hmm, uh-huh."
Zapp,"Uh-huh, uh-huh. Mm-hmm, uh-huh.",Kif,"I've finished talking, sir."
Kif,"I've finished talking, sir.",Zapp,Your Amy knows my Leela? I have formed an idea!
Zapp,Your Amy knows my Leela? I have formed an idea!,Zapp,"I'm calling to negotiate a double date. You and me, Kif and Amy."
Zapp,"I'm calling to negotiate a double date. You and me, Kif and Amy.",Leela,Forget it.
Leela,Forget it.,Zapp,Then let the negotiations begin. I propose we go out on 10 dates.
Zapp,Then let the negotiations begin. I propose we go out on 10 dates.,Leela,How about zero?
Leela,How about zero?,Zapp,Nine.
Zapp,Nine.,Leela,Zero.
Leela,Zero.,Zapp,Seven.
Zapp,Seven.,Leela,Zero.
Leela,Zero.,Zapp,Eight?
Zapp,Eight?,Amy,"Please, Leela? Kif's like the sweetest guy who's ever liked me."
Amy,"Please, Leela? Kif's like the sweetest guy who's ever liked me.",Zapp,"Five, and that's my final offer ... four."
Zapp,"Five, and that's my final offer ... four.",Leela,One.
Leela,One.,Zapp,Two.
Zapp,Two.,Leela,One half.
Leela,One half.,Zapp,I'll take it.
Zapp,I'll take it.,Zapp,We'll meet you tonight for part of dinner and the first half of a movie.
Zapp,We'll meet you tonight for part of dinner and the first half of a movie.,Kif,"Um, sir? I don't go out on many dates and, um, what if I can't think of anything to say?"
Kif,"Um, sir? I don't go out on many dates and, um, what if I can't think of anything to say?",Zapp,Say as many of them as you can as fast as you can. Don't stop for any reason.
Zapp,Say as many of them as you can as fast as you can. Don't stop for any reason.,Kif,Maybe I'll just give her these flowers.
Kif,Maybe I'll just give her these flowers.,Zapp,Mmm!
Zapp,Mmm!,Zapp,"Hello, beautiful. I got these for you."
Zapp,"Hello, beautiful. I got these for you.",Leela,Thanks.
Leela,Thanks.,Zapp,"Well, well. This looks to be one disturbingly erotic date."
Zapp,"Well, well. This looks to be one disturbingly erotic date.",Leela,Half-date.
Leela,Half-date.,Zapp,"Waiter, bring us a bottle of wine."
Zapp,"Waiter, bring us a bottle of wine.",Leela,Half-bottle.
Leela,Half-bottle.,Zapp,And some oysters on the half-shell.
Zapp,And some oysters on the half-shell.,Leela,Quarter-shell.
Leela,Quarter-shell.,Kif,"Oh, and I'd like--"
Kif,"Oh, and I'd like--",Zapp,I'd like two steaks and the ladies will have some very sensual salads -- with low-cal sensual dressing.
Zapp,I'd like two steaks and the ladies will have some very sensual salads -- with low-cal sensual dressing.,(talking),Thank you.
(talking),Thank you.,Amy,"Kif, you're so quiet. You haven't said a word all night."
Amy,"Kif, you're so quiet. You haven't said a word all night.",Kif,"Well, um, um ... hello."
Kif,"Well, um, um ... hello.",Amy,'Cause I was really hoping we could talk and stuff.
Amy,'Cause I was really hoping we could talk and stuff.,Kif,if I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?
Kif,if I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?,Leela,Lieutenant Kroker!
Leela,Lieutenant Kroker!,Kif,I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies
Kif,I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies,Kif,"Oh, my!"
Kif,"Oh, my!",Leela,This half-date is entirely over. Amy? Conference!
Leela,This half-date is entirely over. Amy? Conference!,Kif,"Is there nothing we can do, sir?"
Kif,"Is there nothing we can do, sir?",Zapp,"There's only one sure-fire way back into a woman's heart and parts beyond. I speak, of course, of karaoke."
Zapp,"There's only one sure-fire way back into a woman's heart and parts beyond. I speak, of course, of karaoke.",Kif,have been in vain!
Kif,have been in vain!,Leela,"Alright, enough lipstick. Let's storm out."
Leela,"Alright, enough lipstick. Let's storm out.",But,now I'm only falling apart...
But,now I'm only falling apart...,Amy,"Oh, that's so emotional!"
Amy,"Oh, that's so emotional!",A,total eclipse of the heart--
A,total eclipse of the heart--,C-O-L-A,... Cola.
C-O-L-A,... Cola.,Man,"Aw, give us a break!"
Man,"Aw, give us a break!",Woman,Get off!
Woman,Get off!,Chef,He sickens me!
Chef,He sickens me!,Leela,We're going home. Call us a space taxi.
Leela,We're going home. Call us a space taxi.,Zapp,"No need. There's not a restaurant built I can't fly. Where to, ladies?"
Zapp,"No need. There's not a restaurant built I can't fly. Where to, ladies?",Kif,"Please, sir. Let's just divide up the check and--"
Kif,"Please, sir. Let's just divide up the check and--",Zapp,Let's see what this eatery can do.
Zapp,Let's see what this eatery can do.,Zapp,She's out of control!
Zapp,She's out of control!,Zapp,"You win again, gravity!"
Zapp,"You win again, gravity!",Zoidberg!,"Hey, gringos, here comes El Zoido to ruin your drinking water!"
Zoidberg!,"Hey, gringos, here comes El Zoido to ruin your drinking water!",Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm Mexican and I find that offensive."
Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm Mexican and I find that offensive.",Zoidberg,This one's like a summer guy!
Zoidberg,This one's like a summer guy!,Hermes,"Look, you fat fish, the Planet Express health plan only covers one kind of replacement shell."
Hermes,"Look, you fat fish, the Planet Express health plan only covers one kind of replacement shell.",Fry,I can't believe Leela and Amy aren't back yet from their half-date. I'm gonna call the restaurant.
Fry,I can't believe Leela and Amy aren't back yet from their half-date. I'm gonna call the restaurant.,Operator,The number you have dialled has crashed into a planet. Please make a note of it.
Operator,The number you have dialled has crashed into a planet. Please make a note of it.,Fry,We gotta go rescue them!
Fry,We gotta go rescue them!,Bender,"Eh, I don't know."
Bender,"Eh, I don't know.",Kif,"So, Amy, um, well--"
Kif,"So, Amy, um, well--",Amy,It's always a line with you!
Amy,It's always a line with you!,Leela,What planet is this anyway?
Leela,What planet is this anyway?,Zapp,This whole sector is uncharted.
Zapp,This whole sector is uncharted.,Kif,the chart!
Kif,the chart!,Zapp,And maybe you.
Zapp,And maybe you.,Amy,What is it?
Amy,What is it?,Kug,people.
Kug,people.,Thog,No big deal. Everybody make mistake.
Thog,No big deal. Everybody make mistake.,Zapp,I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boo--
Zapp,I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boo--,Fry,"Oh, no! Any sign of Leela or Amy?"
Fry,"Oh, no! Any sign of Leela or Amy?",Fry,I don't know. But it might have something to do with this.
Fry,I don't know. But it might have something to do with this.,Bender,"Oh, your God!"
Bender,"Oh, your God!",Kug,Move! Go!
Kug,Move! Go!,Fry,"Alright, here's the plan--"
Fry,"Alright, here's the plan--",Bender,Wow!
Bender,Wow!,Thog,Women go free. Men stay in chains.
Thog,Women go free. Men stay in chains.,Ornik,We take them to our leader. She know what do.
Ornik,We take them to our leader. She know what do.,Fry,Pft. A female leader?
Fry,Pft. A female leader?,Leela,"Fry, shut up."
Leela,"Fry, shut up.",Fry,"Yes, Captain!"
Fry,"Yes, Captain!",Thog,This capital city planet Amazonia.
Thog,This capital city planet Amazonia.,Leela,Where are all the men in your society?
Leela,Where are all the men in your society?,Ornik,Men die out many year ago.
Ornik,Men die out many year ago.,Bender,"to death. Are you with me, fellas?"
Bender,"to death. Are you with me, fellas?",Thog,"Here stadium, where our women basketball teams play."
Thog,"Here stadium, where our women basketball teams play.",Kug,"We no can dunk, but good fundamentals."
Kug,"We no can dunk, but good fundamentals.",Ornik,That more fun to watch.
Ornik,That more fun to watch.,Zapp,"Ow! God, you're killing me!"
Zapp,"Ow! God, you're killing me!",Thog,This our comedy club. Humour here funny in different way.
Thog,This our comedy club. Humour here funny in different way.,Ornik,It not reinforce stereotypes.
Ornik,It not reinforce stereotypes.,Kug,"Comedy come from character, real situations. Not abstract craziness."
Kug,"Comedy come from character, real situations. Not abstract craziness.",Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Amy,This women-only planet is sounding better and better.
Amy,This women-only planet is sounding better and better.,Leela,I'm already looking for apartments.
Leela,I'm already looking for apartments.,Thog,"Here live vengeful, all-knowing leader. She decide men's fate."
Thog,"Here live vengeful, all-knowing leader. She decide men's fate.",Fry,Is she hot?
Fry,Is she hot?,Thog,That not important. She all-knowing.
Thog,That not important. She all-knowing.,Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Thog,All hail Femputer.
Thog,All hail Femputer.,Kug,All hail Femputer.
Kug,All hail Femputer.,Amy,You all obey a big computer?
Amy,You all obey a big computer?,Kug,Yes. It appear mysteriously just about time men die out.
Kug,Yes. It appear mysteriously just about time men die out.,Leela,So why did you make it your leader?
Leela,So why did you make it your leader?,Ornik,It seemed like different kind of politician.
Ornik,It seemed like different kind of politician.,Kug,Not beltway insider.
Kug,Not beltway insider.,Thog,"Femputer, we bring offering of bath beads and scented soaps."
Thog,"Femputer, we bring offering of bath beads and scented soaps.",Femputer,Your gift pleases Femputer. Femputer demands to know why there are men on her planet.
Femputer,Your gift pleases Femputer. Femputer demands to know why there are men on her planet.,Fry,"It was an accident, ma'am."
Fry,"It was an accident, ma'am.",Fry,"Leela, I'm through making fun of women. Now I want them to help me."
Fry,"Leela, I'm through making fun of women. Now I want them to help me.",Amy,Should we do something?
Amy,Should we do something?,Leela,There's no hurry.
Leela,There's no hurry.,Zapp,Too hard!
Zapp,Too hard!,Kug,Men strange. You have them on your planet?
Kug,Men strange. You have them on your planet?,Leela,I'm afraid so.
Leela,I'm afraid so.,Kug,"Oh, you mean snu-snu."
Kug,"Oh, you mean snu-snu.",Zapp,"Just FYI, I could be used for snu-snu."
Zapp,"Just FYI, I could be used for snu-snu.",Thog,Silence. You want die like last men visit Amazonia?
Thog,Silence. You want die like last men visit Amazonia?,Fry,What'd they die of?
Fry,What'd they die of?,Kug,pelvises.
Kug,pelvises.,Zapp,"Oh, thank you, Lord in heaven!"
Zapp,"Oh, thank you, Lord in heaven!",Femputer,By snu-snu!
Femputer,By snu-snu!,Fry,Yay!
Fry,Yay!,Zapp,"What are you, gay?"
Zapp,"What are you, gay?",Femputer,Death to the men. Death by snu-snu.
Femputer,Death to the men. Death by snu-snu.,Fry,Although the snu-snu part's gonna be pretty good.
Fry,Although the snu-snu part's gonna be pretty good.,Zapp,"Baby, it'll blow your mind."
Zapp,"Baby, it'll blow your mind.",Leela,"Femputer, be reasonable. Sure men are annoying and they wreck up whatever planet they're in charge of, but most of these men are sorta my friends. They don't deserve to die."
Leela,"Femputer, be reasonable. Sure men are annoying and they wreck up whatever planet they're in charge of, but most of these men are sorta my friends. They don't deserve to die.",Femputer,Hmm. Perhaps men are not as evil as Femputer thinks.
Femputer,Hmm. Perhaps men are not as evil as Femputer thinks.,Thog,But they make fun women's basketball.
Thog,But they make fun women's basketball.,Femputer?,Did you explain how the women's good fundamentals make up for their inability to dunk?
Femputer?,Did you explain how the women's good fundamentals make up for their inability to dunk?,Ornik,Yes. They still laugh.
Ornik,Yes. They still laugh.,Femputer,The men must die.
Femputer,The men must die.,Bender.,"It's an understandable mistake. You can let me down now, thanks."
Bender.,"It's an understandable mistake. You can let me down now, thanks.",Kug,He big jerk like man.
Kug,He big jerk like man.,Bender,Nothing.
Bender,Nothing.,Femputer,"Very well, release him. As for the others, take them to the snu-snu chambers."
Femputer,"Very well, release him. As for the others, take them to the snu-snu chambers.",Bender,"I'll miss you, meatbag."
Bender,"I'll miss you, meatbag.",Leela,"Me too, meatbag."
Leela,"Me too, meatbag.",Fry,"Goodbye, friends. I never thought I would die like this. But I'd always really hoped."
Fry,"Goodbye, friends. I never thought I would die like this. But I'd always really hoped.",Femputer,Initiate snu-snu!
Femputer,Initiate snu-snu!,Amazonians,"Snu-snu, snu-snu, snu-snu!"
Amazonians,"Snu-snu, snu-snu, snu-snu!",Kif,"Amy, before I die, I have to tell you: I didn't mean to say those awful things on our date. They were all Zapp's idea."
Kif,"Amy, before I die, I have to tell you: I didn't mean to say those awful things on our date. They were all Zapp's idea.",Amy,Really? Honest and true?
Amy,Really? Honest and true?,Kif,Yes. And-And that person calling and hanging up was me. I was just too nervous to say hello because I love you.
Kif,Yes. And-And that person calling and hanging up was me. I was just too nervous to say hello because I love you.,Amy,"Oh, Kif!"
Amy,"Oh, Kif!",Thog,Be gentle!
Thog,Be gentle!,Leela,"We've got to do something. Bender, maybe you can interface with the Femputer and reprogram it to let them go."
Leela,"We've got to do something. Bender, maybe you can interface with the Femputer and reprogram it to let them go.",Bender,"Alright, I'll go!"
Bender,"Alright, I'll go!",Fry,Ooh! Yeah!
Fry,Ooh! Yeah!,Zapp,"Oh, baby!"
Zapp,"Oh, baby!",Guard,#1: How Tonk look?
Guard,#1: How Tonk look?,Guard,#2: Tonk look good. Me fat.
Guard,#2: Tonk look good. Me fat.,Guard,"#1: No, you look good. Tonk fat."
Guard,"#1: No, you look good. Tonk fat.",Femputer,Intruder! Stay away from the mighty Femputer! Guards!
Femputer,Intruder! Stay away from the mighty Femputer! Guards!,Bender,Time to override the CPU and reprogram this Femputer.
Bender,Time to override the CPU and reprogram this Femputer.,Femputer!,"Hey, cut that out!"
Femputer!,"Hey, cut that out!",Fembot,Cease hitting Femputer!
Fembot,Cease hitting Femputer!,Fembot,It's true. I disguised myself as a Femputer so I could rule the Amazonians.
Fembot,It's true. I disguised myself as a Femputer so I could rule the Amazonians.,Bender,But why?
Bender,But why?,Fembot?,I came here from a faraway planet. A planet ruled by a chauvinistic Manputer that was really a Manbot. Have you any idea how it feels to be a Fembot living in a Manbot's Manputer's world?
Fembot?,I came here from a faraway planet. A planet ruled by a chauvinistic Manputer that was really a Manbot. Have you any idea how it feels to be a Fembot living in a Manbot's Manputer's world?,Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Zapp,We need rest. The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
Zapp,We need rest. The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised.,Ornik,It time snu-snu!
Ornik,It time snu-snu!,Fry,Nooo!
Fry,Nooo!,Leela,"Yah! Hi-yah! Yah, yah, yah!"
Leela,"Yah! Hi-yah! Yah, yah, yah!",Amy,Me next snu-snu. Out me way.
Amy,Me next snu-snu. Out me way.,Thog,Me want snu-snu!
Thog,Me want snu-snu!,Amy,Kif! Jump!
Amy,Kif! Jump!,Kif,My hero!
Kif,My hero!,Thog,Me not get snu-snu! Get him!
Thog,Me not get snu-snu! Get him!,Thog,Mighty Femputer. Small girl steal green kissy man. We kill her now?
Thog,Mighty Femputer. Small girl steal green kissy man. We kill her now?,Fembot,Come back later. Leave me alone.
Fembot,Come back later. Leave me alone.,Bender,And bring gold. Lots of gold.
Bender,And bring gold. Lots of gold.,Thog,Gold? Why Femputer want gold?
Thog,Gold? Why Femputer want gold?,Fembot,You heard the man.
Fembot,You heard the man.,Bender,C'mon! Gimme some of that!
Bender,C'mon! Gimme some of that!,Zoidberg,"Pretty good story, eh, Hermes?"
Zoidberg,"Pretty good story, eh, Hermes?",Hermes,"Stick to someone else, you windy barnacle!"
Hermes,"Stick to someone else, you windy barnacle!",Leela,It's funny how the battle of the sexes was only resolved when a Manbot and a Fembot realised they loved each other.
Leela,It's funny how the battle of the sexes was only resolved when a Manbot and a Fembot realised they loved each other.,Bender,"Yeah. By the way, if she calls, I'm not here. All I know is this gold says that was the best mission ever!"
Bender,"Yeah. By the way, if she calls, I'm not here. All I know is this gold says that was the best mission ever!",Amy,It sure was.
Amy,It sure was.,Fry,"Oh, yeah!"
Fry,"Oh, yeah!",Zapp,I had snu-snu!
Zapp,I had snu-snu!,Kif,"So, um, Amy, w-what do you wanna do now?"
Kif,"So, um, Amy, w-what do you wanna do now?",Man,"#1: Breaker-breaker, this here's the Duck. Uh, you wanna back off them hogs?"
Man,"#1: Breaker-breaker, this here's the Duck. Uh, you wanna back off them hogs?",Man,"#1: Ten-four, five miles or so."
Man,"#1: Ten-four, five miles or so.",Man,"#2: Ten, roger!"
Man,"#2: Ten, roger!",Leela,We're OK on Coke syrup.
Leela,We're OK on Coke syrup.,Bender,Comin' through!
Bender,Comin' through!,Bender,What's that black cracker?
Bender,What's that black cracker?,Fry,A tomato.
Fry,A tomato.,Leela,You're not gonna eat a sandwich from a truck stop men's room are you?
Leela,You're not gonna eat a sandwich from a truck stop men's room are you?,Fry,Ugh! It's like a party in my mouth and everyone's throwing up!
Fry,Ugh! It's like a party in my mouth and everyone's throwing up!,Trucker,Lookie there! It's one of them things like on our mud flaps!
Trucker,Lookie there! It's one of them things like on our mud flaps!,Hoschel,Yosemite Sam?
Hoschel,Yosemite Sam?,Sal,Whoas!
Sal,Whoas!,Fry,That jerk! No one hoots at my captain unless they're prepared to take it to the next level!
Fry,That jerk! No one hoots at my captain unless they're prepared to take it to the next level!,Leela,"Fry, please. That's sweet but I'd rather not even dignify them with an ass-whooping!"
Leela,"Fry, please. That's sweet but I'd rather not even dignify them with an ass-whooping!",Sal,"Hey, sexy mama, let's get busy and freaky in that order!"
Sal,"Hey, sexy mama, let's get busy and freaky in that order!",Sal,"Eh, I gots five minutes. She looks pretty good for a truck stop chick!"
Sal,"Eh, I gots five minutes. She looks pretty good for a truck stop chick!",Fry,You take that back! She does not look good for a truck stop chick!
Fry,You take that back! She does not look good for a truck stop chick!,Sal,"Yeah, you're right. She don't gots enough meat for a guy like me."
Sal,"Yeah, you're right. She don't gots enough meat for a guy like me.",Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Sal,More meat than a cow!
Sal,More meat than a cow!,Fry,I can't please Leela no matter what I do. I just want her to like me.
Fry,I can't please Leela no matter what I do. I just want her to like me.,Bender,"C'mon, we gotta go fix the plasma fusion boiler."
Bender,"C'mon, we gotta go fix the plasma fusion boiler.",Bender,Who are you?
Bender,Who are you?,Scruffy,Scruffy. The janitor.
Scruffy,Scruffy. The janitor.,Bender,Well why aren't you fixing the boiler?
Bender,Well why aren't you fixing the boiler?,Scruffy,Schedule conflict.
Scruffy,Schedule conflict.,Bender,There! Fixed forever.
Bender,There! Fixed forever.,Scruffy,"Oh, marmalade!"
Scruffy,"Oh, marmalade!",Zoidberg,"Oh, the hypochondriac's back! So what is it this time?"
Zoidberg,"Oh, the hypochondriac's back! So what is it this time?",Fry,"Well, my lead pipe hurts a little."
Fry,"Well, my lead pipe hurts a little.",Zoidberg,That's normal. Next patient.
Zoidberg,That's normal. Next patient.,Bender,He's a witch!
Bender,He's a witch!,Farnsworth,"Fry, did you eat anything unusual recently?"
Farnsworth,"Fry, did you eat anything unusual recently?",Fry,No.
Fry,No.,Leela,What about that bathroom egg salad from the truck stop?
Leela,What about that bathroom egg salad from the truck stop?,Fry,I've had better.
Fry,I've had better.,Farnsworth,"Egg salad? Hmm. Zoidberg will have to examine your gastrointestinal tract. Come, everyone. Give Fry some privacy."
Farnsworth,"Egg salad? Hmm. Zoidberg will have to examine your gastrointestinal tract. Come, everyone. Give Fry some privacy.",Farnsworth,"If you can't see well enough through the two-way mirror, there'll be a close-up on this video screen."
Farnsworth,"If you can't see well enough through the two-way mirror, there'll be a close-up on this video screen.",Zoidberg,Guess again.
Zoidberg,Guess again.,Amy,Gross!
Amy,Gross!,Bender,"Go, man! Go!"
Bender,"Go, man! Go!",Farnsworth,Watch for any subtle irregularity in Fry's bowel.
Farnsworth,Watch for any subtle irregularity in Fry's bowel.,Amy,It's gorgeous. That place used to be a big dump.
Amy,It's gorgeous. That place used to be a big dump.,Bender,Oh! Ew!
Bender,Oh! Ew!,Amy,Worms? Ew! Puke-a-tronic!
Amy,Worms? Ew! Puke-a-tronic!,Leela,So the eggs in that egg salad sandwich were--
Leela,So the eggs in that egg salad sandwich were--,Farnsworth,Correct! Worm eggs! And the mayonnaise was probably none too fresh either.
Farnsworth,Correct! Worm eggs! And the mayonnaise was probably none too fresh either.,Hermes,Is there no way to get rid of the disgusting maggots?
Hermes,Is there no way to get rid of the disgusting maggots?,Farnsworth,"Only one. We'll have to travel deep inside Fry, in this!"
Farnsworth,"Only one. We'll have to travel deep inside Fry, in this!",Bender,Shotgun!
Bender,Shotgun!,Zoidberg,Shotgun!
Zoidberg,Shotgun!,Farnsworth,"In each gastro-survival kit, you'll find a rain slicker, a disposable fun camera, and something to protect you against bacteria -- a harpoon!"
Farnsworth,"In each gastro-survival kit, you'll find a rain slicker, a disposable fun camera, and something to protect you against bacteria -- a harpoon!",Bender,"Yo, old guy, why do we have to use those tiny micro-droids? Can't you just shrink us?"
Bender,"Yo, old guy, why do we have to use those tiny micro-droids? Can't you just shrink us?",Farnsworth,"Oh, my, no. That would require extremely tiny atoms, and have you priced those lately? I'm not made of money! Leave me alone!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, my, no. That would require extremely tiny atoms, and have you priced those lately? I'm not made of money! Leave me alone!",Zoidberg,Me next!
Zoidberg,Me next!,Farnsworth-Droid,"Anyhoo, your net suits will let you experience Fry's worm-infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them."
Farnsworth-Droid,"Anyhoo, your net suits will let you experience Fry's worm-infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them.",Zoidberg-Droid,There's no part of that sentence I didn't like.
Zoidberg-Droid,There's no part of that sentence I didn't like.,Farnsworth-Droid,Is everyone present?
Farnsworth-Droid,Is everyone present?,Amy-Droid,Right on!
Amy-Droid,Right on!,Bender-Droid,Uh-huh.
Bender-Droid,Uh-huh.,Hermes-Droid,Definitely.
Hermes-Droid,Definitely.,Zoidberg-Droid,Yes.
Zoidberg-Droid,Yes.,Farnsworth-Droid,"We'll enter the ear, drip down the back of the throat and make for the bowel. There, we'll irritate the pelvic splanchnic ganglion and cause an intestinal spasm, expelling, among other things, the parasites."
Farnsworth-Droid,"We'll enter the ear, drip down the back of the throat and make for the bowel. There, we'll irritate the pelvic splanchnic ganglion and cause an intestinal spasm, expelling, among other things, the parasites.",Bender-Droid,"I'll tell Fry to wash out, among other things, his ear."
Bender-Droid,"I'll tell Fry to wash out, among other things, his ear.",Farnsworth-Droid,"No! Fry can't know anything about the mission. If he finds out, the worms will try to defend themselves. They know everything he knows."
Farnsworth-Droid,"No! Fry can't know anything about the mission. If he finds out, the worms will try to defend themselves. They know everything he knows.",Bender-Droid,They know how to make ice cream soup?
Bender-Droid,They know how to make ice cream soup?,Farnsworth-Droid,"Leela, your role is to distract Fry so he doesn't notice what we're up to."
Farnsworth-Droid,"Leela, your role is to distract Fry so he doesn't notice what we're up to.",Leela,Can do!
Leela,Can do!,Amy-Droid,"Leela, you should really try a facial scrub, for your pores."
Amy-Droid,"Leela, you should really try a facial scrub, for your pores.",Leela,Look! A starling!
Leela,Look! A starling!,Fry,Really?
Fry,Really?,Farnsworth-Droid,Sh! Be very quiet. We're in the ear.
Farnsworth-Droid,Sh! Be very quiet. We're in the ear.,Amy-Droid,"OK, Professor."
Amy-Droid,"OK, Professor.",Farnsworth-Droid,What?
Farnsworth-Droid,What?,Fry,What about what?
Fry,What about what?,Leela,"Uh ... what if we go for a walk, possibly, because it's such a lovely day, perhaps."
Leela,"Uh ... what if we go for a walk, possibly, because it's such a lovely day, perhaps.",Fry,I'd love to!
Fry,I'd love to!,Hermes-Droid,We gotta get someplace where he won't stick his finger!
Hermes-Droid,We gotta get someplace where he won't stick his finger!,Bender-Droid,It's hopeless! Abandon ship!
Bender-Droid,It's hopeless! Abandon ship!,Farnsworth-Droid,Wait! We just have to get past the eardrum.
Farnsworth-Droid,Wait! We just have to get past the eardrum.,Hermes-Droid,What are those worms doing to Fry's brain?
Hermes-Droid,What are those worms doing to Fry's brain?,Farnsworth-Droid,his thinking power.
Farnsworth-Droid,his thinking power.,Hermes-Droid,My God! Soon he'll be smarter than Cher!
Hermes-Droid,My God! Soon he'll be smarter than Cher!,Fry,For you.
Fry,For you.,Leela,"That's such a beautiful thought, Fry. And what's more amazing, you expressed it without spewing crumbs at me."
Leela,"That's such a beautiful thought, Fry. And what's more amazing, you expressed it without spewing crumbs at me.",Farnsworth-Droid,"Brace yourselves, everyone. We're entering the interior of Fry's nose."
Farnsworth-Droid,"Brace yourselves, everyone. We're entering the interior of Fry's nose.",Bender-Droid,We're at finger alert five.
Bender-Droid,We're at finger alert five.,Farnsworth-Droid,Nobody make a smell.
Farnsworth-Droid,Nobody make a smell.,Zoidberg-Droid,Quick! We can escape through that nasal capillary into the sinus.
Zoidberg-Droid,Quick! We can escape through that nasal capillary into the sinus.,Hermes-Droid,Strange. Usually you don't know anything about human anatomy.
Hermes-Droid,Strange. Usually you don't know anything about human anatomy.,Zoidberg-Droid,"Soothing action, action, action, action..."
Zoidberg-Droid,"Soothing action, action, action, action...",Bender-Droid,Where are we? The ass?
Bender-Droid,Where are we? The ass?,Farnsworth-Droid,We're in the heart. Better known as The Love Muscle.
Farnsworth-Droid,We're in the heart. Better known as The Love Muscle.,Zoidberg-Droid,Where the food is digested.
Zoidberg-Droid,Where the food is digested.,Farnsworth-Droid,"We should be safe, just so long as nothing makes it beat faster."
Farnsworth-Droid,"We should be safe, just so long as nothing makes it beat faster.",Bender-Droid,Abandon ship!
Bender-Droid,Abandon ship!,Farnsworth-Droid,No! Set course for that cholesterol-encrusted valve.
Farnsworth-Droid,No! Set course for that cholesterol-encrusted valve.,Zoidberg-Droid,It's good cholesterol but it spreads like bad cholesterol!
Zoidberg-Droid,It's good cholesterol but it spreads like bad cholesterol!,Amy-Droid,Look! They're jazz-ercising Fry's muscles!
Amy-Droid,Look! They're jazz-ercising Fry's muscles!,Hermes-Droid,He'll be as strong and flexible as Gumby and Hercules combined!
Hermes-Droid,He'll be as strong and flexible as Gumby and Hercules combined!,Zoidberg-Droid,Gumbercules? I love that guy!
Zoidberg-Droid,Gumbercules? I love that guy!,Leela,Let's cross the street and try to blend in with that crowd of pimps.
Leela,Let's cross the street and try to blend in with that crowd of pimps.,Fry,"Sir, I believe you owe this lady an apology."
Fry,"Sir, I believe you owe this lady an apology.",Leela,Ooh!
Leela,Ooh!,Sal,"Sorrys, ma'am. I've learnsed a lesson about not ogling cans that I won't soons forgets."
Sal,"Sorrys, ma'am. I've learnsed a lesson about not ogling cans that I won't soons forgets.",Farnsworth-Droid,"Ah, the stomach: Scenic gateway to the bowel."
Farnsworth-Droid,"Ah, the stomach: Scenic gateway to the bowel.",Bender-Droid,Abandon ship!
Bender-Droid,Abandon ship!,Farnsworth-Droid,No! Don't give up now! We're but a stone's throw from the pyloric sphincter.
Farnsworth-Droid,No! Don't give up now! We're but a stone's throw from the pyloric sphincter.,Bender-Droid,Hooray!
Bender-Droid,Hooray!,Zoidberg-Droid,Hooray!
Zoidberg-Droid,Hooray!,Hermes-Droid,We made it!
Hermes-Droid,We made it!,Farnsworth-Droid,There it is! The stately capitol of Fry's bowel. A heavily-guarded fortress surrounding the pelvic splanchnic ganglion.
Farnsworth-Droid,There it is! The stately capitol of Fry's bowel. A heavily-guarded fortress surrounding the pelvic splanchnic ganglion.,Zoidberg-Droid,I've heard of that! Who said I haven't?
Zoidberg-Droid,I've heard of that! Who said I haven't?,Farnsworth-Droid,"If we can stimulate that nerve, the bowel will convulse, expelling the entire worm society."
Farnsworth-Droid,"If we can stimulate that nerve, the bowel will convulse, expelling the entire worm society.",Hermes-Droid,But what about the worms in the other parts of his body?
Hermes-Droid,But what about the worms in the other parts of his body?,Farnsworth-Droid,left!
Farnsworth-Droid,left!,Bender-Droid,"Alright, let's mush some worms!"
Bender-Droid,"Alright, let's mush some worms!",Worm,Mayor: Worms to battle stations!
Worm,Mayor: Worms to battle stations!,Leela,"I had a great time today. The flowers, the puddle, the way you hurt that guy. But can I aks you something?"
Leela,"I had a great time today. The flowers, the puddle, the way you hurt that guy. But can I aks you something?",Fry,Anything.
Fry,Anything.,Leela,Why did you do all that stuff?
Leela,Why did you do all that stuff?,Fry,"Leela, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time but every time I try I get nervous and my mouth feels like it's stuffed with peanut butter, even when it's not."
Fry,"Leela, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time but every time I try I get nervous and my mouth feels like it's stuffed with peanut butter, even when it's not.",Leela,What is it? Is it about Bender?
Leela,What is it? Is it about Bender?,Fry,"No, it's about you and me."
Fry,"No, it's about you and me.",Leela,And Bender?
Leela,And Bender?,Fry,Leela ... I love you.
Fry,Leela ... I love you.,Leela,You do?
Leela,You do?,Fry,"Yes. But it's only recently that I've been able to articulate my thoughts. I love you, Leela, and I always have."
Fry,"Yes. But it's only recently that I've been able to articulate my thoughts. I love you, Leela, and I always have.",Leela,"Fry, that's the sweetest, most wonderful-- Wait! Recently? Like since you ate that toilet sandwich?"
Leela,"Fry, that's the sweetest, most wonderful-- Wait! Recently? Like since you ate that toilet sandwich?",Fry,Yeah! I don't know why but my life really turned around that day.
Fry,Yeah! I don't know why but my life really turned around that day.,Leela,Stay here.
Leela,Stay here.,Waitress,Freshen your noc-a-tina?
Waitress,Freshen your noc-a-tina?,Fry,I need something to settle my stomach.
Fry,I need something to settle my stomach.,Farnsworth-Droid,The nerve is through here. Where's Zoidberg?
Farnsworth-Droid,The nerve is through here. Where's Zoidberg?,Zoidberg-Droid,Yippie-ki-yay! You'll never guess where I've been!
Zoidberg-Droid,Yippie-ki-yay! You'll never guess where I've been!,Bender-Droid,One! Two! Three!
Bender-Droid,One! Two! Three!,Farnsworth-Droid,Tickle it and get ready for the ride of your lives!
Farnsworth-Droid,Tickle it and get ready for the ride of your lives!,Leela-Droid,Don't even think about tickling that ganglion!
Leela-Droid,Don't even think about tickling that ganglion!,Farnsworth-Droid,"Leela, you're just in time to help. If we don't get rid of the worms now, they'll burrow so deep into the bowel that not even Hermes' famous jerk prunes could dislodge them!"
Farnsworth-Droid,"Leela, you're just in time to help. If we don't get rid of the worms now, they'll burrow so deep into the bowel that not even Hermes' famous jerk prunes could dislodge them!",Hermes-Droid,I call it Caribbean Drain-o!
Hermes-Droid,I call it Caribbean Drain-o!,Farnsworth-Droid,Fry will be stuck with the worms forever.
Farnsworth-Droid,Fry will be stuck with the worms forever.,Leela-Droid,Perfect.
Leela-Droid,Perfect.,Zoidberg-Droid,Ouch!
Zoidberg-Droid,Ouch!,Amy,I'm OK.
Amy,I'm OK.,Farnsworth,"Leela, you ignorant dope! Now the worms will be in Fry forever."
Farnsworth,"Leela, you ignorant dope! Now the worms will be in Fry forever.",Leela,So? Did you ever stop to think that Fry is better off with worms?
Leela,So? Did you ever stop to think that Fry is better off with worms?,Farnsworth,"Oh, that's stupid!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, that's stupid!",Fry,"If anyone wants to tell me what's going on here, I'll be in the lounge."
Fry,"If anyone wants to tell me what's going on here, I'll be in the lounge.",Fry,"the best! Leela, how can I ever repay you for saving them?"
Fry,"the best! Leela, how can I ever repay you for saving them?",Leela,I'll think of something.
Leela,I'll think of something.,Bender,'Ello! What's all this then?
Bender,'Ello! What's all this then?,Fry,Apartment 1I. The old me would have made a joke about that!
Fry,Apartment 1I. The old me would have made a joke about that!,Leela,"I should warn you, it's a little under-furnished."
Leela,"I should warn you, it's a little under-furnished.",Leela,I'm thinking of having a window installed.
Leela,I'm thinking of having a window installed.,Fry,I think the view's perfect already!
Fry,I think the view's perfect already!,Leela,"Oh, that's the corniest thing I've ever heard! Let me show you the bedroom."
Leela,"Oh, that's the corniest thing I've ever heard! Let me show you the bedroom.",Fry,Wait. In a minute.
Fry,Wait. In a minute.,Leela,"A holophonor? Only a few people in the whole universe can play that, and they're not very good at it."
Leela,"A holophonor? Only a few people in the whole universe can play that, and they're not very good at it.",Fry,They don't have you to inspire them.
Fry,They don't have you to inspire them.,Leela,"I don't have words to say how wonderful you are, Fry. I haven't felt this happy since double-soup Tuesday at the orphanarium."
Leela,"I don't have words to say how wonderful you are, Fry. I haven't felt this happy since double-soup Tuesday at the orphanarium.",Fry,day seems like double-soup Tuesday.
Fry,day seems like double-soup Tuesday.,Leela,"Oh, Fry! I love what you've become."
Leela,"Oh, Fry! I love what you've become.",Fry,What I've become.
Fry,What I've become.,Leela,What is it?
Leela,What is it?,Fry,There's just something I have to find out.
Fry,There's just something I have to find out.,Fry-Droid,Who controls this bowel?
Fry-Droid,Who controls this bowel?,Worm,Guard #1: Who wants to know?
Worm,Guard #1: Who wants to know?,Worm,Mayor: I am the Lord Mayor of Cologne.
Worm,Mayor: I am the Lord Mayor of Cologne.,Fry-Droid,You mean colon?
Fry-Droid,You mean colon?,Worm,Mayor: State your business!
Worm,Mayor: State your business!,Fry-Droid,"Your Excellency, have you ever been in love?"
Fry-Droid,"Your Excellency, have you ever been in love?",Worm,Mayor: No. I thought I was once but then I remember our species reproduces with a cloud of spores.
Worm,Mayor: No. I thought I was once but then I remember our species reproduces with a cloud of spores.,Fry-Droid,"Well, a wonderful girl loves me. But I need to know if it's really me she loves, or just what you worms have made of me. That's why, with all due respect, I'm asking you to leave."
Fry-Droid,"Well, a wonderful girl loves me. But I need to know if it's really me she loves, or just what you worms have made of me. That's why, with all due respect, I'm asking you to leave.",Worm,Mayor can make me leave.
Worm,Mayor can make me leave.,Fry-Droid,Everyone out of my body or the brain gets it!
Fry-Droid,Everyone out of my body or the brain gets it!,Worm,Mayor: He's bluffing! No creature would willingly make an idiot out of itself.
Worm,Mayor: He's bluffing! No creature would willingly make an idiot out of itself.,Fry-Droid,"Now, the hand-eye co-ordination lobe."
Fry-Droid,"Now, the hand-eye co-ordination lobe.",Worm,"Guard #1: Stop it, man!"
Worm,"Guard #1: Stop it, man!",Worm,"Mayor: You've damaged your brain, Universe, but no more than a week of binge drinking or five minutes on a cell phone."
Worm,"Mayor: You've damaged your brain, Universe, but no more than a week of binge drinking or five minutes on a cell phone.",Fry-Droid,"I was just working my way towards the medulla oblongata, control centre of the heart and lungs. And if I kill myself, you die with me."
Fry-Droid,"I was just working my way towards the medulla oblongata, control centre of the heart and lungs. And if I kill myself, you die with me.",Worm,"Guard #2: Wait a minute, man!"
Worm,"Guard #2: Wait a minute, man!",Fry-Droid,"I hope Satan has a nice colon, 'cause that's where you're gonna be living!"
Fry-Droid,"I hope Satan has a nice colon, 'cause that's where you're gonna be living!",Worm,Mayor! You'll be crawling with us again. Ever wonder what makes special sauce so special? Yo!
Worm,Mayor! You'll be crawling with us again. Ever wonder what makes special sauce so special? Yo!,Leela,Fry? I missed you. Did you find out what you needed to find out?
Leela,Fry? I missed you. Did you find out what you needed to find out?,Fry,"Leela, let me play for you one for time."
Fry,"Leela, let me play for you one for time.",Leela,You don't have to do that. I'm still seduced from before.
Leela,You don't have to do that. I'm still seduced from before.,Fry,"Please, it's important to me."
Fry,"Please, it's important to me.",Leela,What's that supposed to mean?
Leela,What's that supposed to mean?,Fry,Wow! Did you see that vase break? It was all like--
Fry,Wow! Did you see that vase break? It was all like--,Leela,What's happened to you?
Leela,What's happened to you?,Fry,Nothing. I got rid of the worms.
Fry,Nothing. I got rid of the worms.,Leela,What? Why would you do that?
Leela,What? Why would you do that?,Fry.,I needed to know who you loved. Me or them.
Fry.,I needed to know who you loved. Me or them.,Leela,Well ... which of you wrote me that sonnet?
Leela,Well ... which of you wrote me that sonnet?,Fry,"I did ... I think. It was probably about 50/50. But that's how I really felt about you, I swear!"
Fry,"I did ... I think. It was probably about 50/50. But that's how I really felt about you, I swear!",Leela,I don't know.
Leela,I don't know.,Fry,"Please. Give me a chance to be romantic on my own. I've got a baggy of massage oil, and I'm gonna give you my super back rub, just like a I used to give Amy when I was going out with her, and she always seemed-- Uh-oh!"
Fry,"Please. Give me a chance to be romantic on my own. I've got a baggy of massage oil, and I'm gonna give you my super back rub, just like a I used to give Amy when I was going out with her, and she always seemed-- Uh-oh!",Bender,"Sorry you struck out, sausage link."
Bender,"Sorry you struck out, sausage link.",Bender,"If it's any consolation, my life is great! Babes! Bucks! I got it all!"
Bender,"If it's any consolation, my life is great! Babes! Bucks! I got it all!",Fry,"Well, at least I learned Leela's a lost cause. I give up."
Fry,"Well, at least I learned Leela's a lost cause. I give up.",Bender,Goodnight. I gotta get up early to go parasailing with movie stars!
Bender,Goodnight. I gotta get up early to go parasailing with movie stars!,Linda,"In what has become a winter tradition, members of the Zarlon 7 Polar Bear Club today took the plunge into a river of liquid ammonia."
Linda,"In what has become a winter tradition, members of the Zarlon 7 Polar Bear Club today took the plunge into a river of liquid ammonia.",Morbo,There were no survivors.
Morbo,There were no survivors.,Linda,"Takes all kinds! And now, with his annual Xmas message, here's the head of the Xmas Safety Council, the head of Walter Cronkite."
Linda,"Takes all kinds! And now, with his annual Xmas message, here's the head of the Xmas Safety Council, the head of Walter Cronkite.",Walter,"Cronkite's head: Season's warnings, Linda and Morbo."
Walter,"Cronkite's head: Season's warnings, Linda and Morbo.",Bender,This guy's too trustworthy. What's his angle?
Bender,This guy's too trustworthy. What's his angle?,Cronkite,"In all the tinsel and terror of the holiday season we too often underestimate that murderous brute better known as Santa Claus. With images of last year's gingerbread massacre freshly baked into our memories, I remind you to bolt your doors, say goodbye to your pets and lock your children in the closet. This is Walter Cronkite saying, I told you so."
Cronkite,"In all the tinsel and terror of the holiday season we too often underestimate that murderous brute better known as Santa Claus. With images of last year's gingerbread massacre freshly baked into our memories, I remind you to bolt your doors, say goodbye to your pets and lock your children in the closet. This is Walter Cronkite saying, I told you so.",Hermes,Eastern Samoa. We've got to secure for Santa's arrival.
Hermes,Eastern Samoa. We've got to secure for Santa's arrival.,Fry,Just as well. I'm getting tired of this wood show.
Fry,Just as well. I'm getting tired of this wood show.,Leela,We're pushing as hard as we can.
Leela,We're pushing as hard as we can.,Bender,"Oh, pushing!"
Bender,"Oh, pushing!",Farnsworth,"Oh, we're doomed! Every year we're doomed. Thanks be I had these bullet-proof shutters installed."
Farnsworth,"Oh, we're doomed! Every year we're doomed. Thanks be I had these bullet-proof shutters installed.",Farnsworth,"Bring it on, Santa! That bloodthirsty cadaver junkie can't touch us as long as we're not stupid enough to leave this building."
Farnsworth,"Bring it on, Santa! That bloodthirsty cadaver junkie can't touch us as long as we're not stupid enough to leave this building.",Fry,Alright!
Fry,Alright!,Leela,Yeah!
Leela,Yeah!,Farnsworth,"In a related matter, you'll be delivering this sack of children's letters directly to Santa at his death fortress on Neptune."
Farnsworth,"In a related matter, you'll be delivering this sack of children's letters directly to Santa at his death fortress on Neptune.",Fry,Dear Santa.
Fry,Dear Santa.,Girl,don't bring me any gifts. The bicycle you fired at me last year from your bicycle gun really tore up my insides.
Girl,don't bring me any gifts. The bicycle you fired at me last year from your bicycle gun really tore up my insides.,Leela,Dear Santa.
Leela,Dear Santa.,Boy,Please bring me a coffin for Grandpa. You choked him with a chestnut last year and he's beginning to smell a lot like Xmas if you know what I mean.
Boy,Please bring me a coffin for Grandpa. You choked him with a chestnut last year and he's beginning to smell a lot like Xmas if you know what I mean.,Fry,"It's not fair. In my day Xmas was supposed to bring people together, not blow them apart!"
Fry,"It's not fair. In my day Xmas was supposed to bring people together, not blow them apart!",Bender,"Sure, but who's going to do anything about it? Certainly not us. No, sir!"
Bender,"Sure, but who's going to do anything about it? Certainly not us. No, sir!",Fry,"Certainly yes us, uh-huh, sir! We've gotta bring back the kind of Xmas I remember."
Fry,"Certainly yes us, uh-huh, sir! We've gotta bring back the kind of Xmas I remember.",Leela,Fry's right. It's time to sit on Santa's lap -- and hard!
Leela,Fry's right. It's time to sit on Santa's lap -- and hard!,Leela,"Oh, look! A cute little welcoming party."
Leela,"Oh, look! A cute little welcoming party.",Aide,#1: Hey! Wanna buy a tiny little kidney?
Aide,#1: Hey! Wanna buy a tiny little kidney?,Aide,#2: I'll let you punch me for a buck.
Aide,#2: I'll let you punch me for a buck.,Fry,"Uh, look; we've got mail for Santa. Are you his elves?"
Fry,"Uh, look; we've got mail for Santa. Are you his elves?",Aide,#2: We're not elves. We're Neptunians.
Aide,#2: We're not elves. We're Neptunians.,Aide,#1: We're just shrimp-y because he doesn't feed us.
Aide,#1: We're just shrimp-y because he doesn't feed us.,Aide,#2: You hit me! You owe me a dollar.
Aide,#2: You hit me! You owe me a dollar.,Aide,"#3: Hey, you got any food? Old teabags, chewed gum, apple cores? Come on! We're starving here!"
Aide,"#3: Hey, you got any food? Old teabags, chewed gum, apple cores? Come on! We're starving here!",Fry,But you live in a gingerbread house.
Fry,But you live in a gingerbread house.,Aide,"#4: Hey! It's food or shelter, not both."
Aide,"#4: Hey! It's food or shelter, not both.",Bender,You lazy runts! Don't you get paid for making the toys?
Bender,You lazy runts! Don't you get paid for making the toys?,Aide,#4: Who said toys?
Aide,#4: Who said toys?,Neptunians,Toys? Toys? Who said toys?
Neptunians,Toys? Toys? Who said toys?,Aide,"#2: False alarm, folks! There's no reason to make toys since Santa judges everyone to be naughty."
Aide,"#2: False alarm, folks! There's no reason to make toys since Santa judges everyone to be naughty.",Fry,That's it! I'm gonna deliver a gift of my boot up Santa's chimney. Where is he?
Fry,That's it! I'm gonna deliver a gift of my boot up Santa's chimney. Where is he?,Aide,#2: There! In his ice fortress.
Aide,#2: There! In his ice fortress.,Leela,We'll need help getting in. Any volunteers?
Leela,We'll need help getting in. Any volunteers?,Aide,#1: I'll help you!
Aide,#1: I'll help you!,Aide,"#2: Ah, phooey!"
Aide,"#2: Ah, phooey!",Aide,#2: An omen?
Aide,#2: An omen?,Aide,#1: Dinner!
Aide,#1: Dinner!,Santa,Huh?
Santa,Huh?,Aide,#2: We brought your mail.
Aide,#2: We brought your mail.,Santa,"Don't you ever knock? Who knows what naughty things I could be watching? I get New Orleans on this thing, you know!"
Santa,"Don't you ever knock? Who knows what naughty things I could be watching? I get New Orleans on this thing, you know!",Aide,#2: Don't kill us!
Aide,#2: Don't kill us!,Leela,"Santa's a robot, so we should be able to destroy him with a logical paradox. Bender, you'd better cover your ears."
Leela,"Santa's a robot, so we should be able to destroy him with a logical paradox. Bender, you'd better cover your ears.",Santa,Holy night! Intruders!
Santa,Holy night! Intruders!,Leela,"are naughty and, logically, you must destroy yourself."
Leela,"are naughty and, logically, you must destroy yourself.",Santa,head was built with paradox-absorbing crumple-zones.
Santa,head was built with paradox-absorbing crumple-zones.,Leela,Wait! This is what we're running from!
Leela,Wait! This is what we're running from!,Fry,Faster! Faster!
Fry,Faster! Faster!,Fry,Why aren't we moving?
Fry,Why aren't we moving?,Leela,I don't know. Usually when I do stuff like this the ship moves.
Leela,I don't know. Usually when I do stuff like this the ship moves.,Santa,"Ho, ho-- Eh?"
Santa,"Ho, ho-- Eh?",Fry,He's trapped!
Fry,He's trapped!,Aide,#2: Now we can make toys again!
Aide,#2: Now we can make toys again!,Neptunians,Toys! Toys! Toys!
Neptunians,Toys! Toys! Toys!,Fry,And I can deliver them. Billions and billions in one night.
Fry,And I can deliver them. Billions and billions in one night.,Santa,Ha! No human could do all that.
Santa,Ha! No human could do all that.,Fry,Evil Knievel could!
Fry,Evil Knievel could!,Santa,Nuh-uh!
Santa,Nuh-uh!,Bender,"Aw, crap! I'm some sort of robot."
Bender,"Aw, crap! I'm some sort of robot.",Neptunians,Hooray!
Neptunians,Hooray!,Santa,Bender can't be Santa! He wasn't built to Yuletide specifications.
Santa,Bender can't be Santa! He wasn't built to Yuletide specifications.,Bender,But that didn't stop me.
Bender,But that didn't stop me.,Leela,Bender!
Leela,Bender!,Bender,Bow to your new Santa!
Bender,Bow to your new Santa!,Neptunians,Our hero!
Neptunians,Our hero!,With,so many toys to build.
With,so many toys to build.,But,we gladly work for nothing--
But,we gladly work for nothing--,Fry,Which is good because we don't intend to pay.
Fry,Which is good because we don't intend to pay.,All,The elves are back to work today!
All,The elves are back to work today!,And,the labour isn't easy--
And,the labour isn't easy--,You,can make the job go quicker if you turn up the controls to super-speed.
You,can make the job go quicker if you turn up the controls to super-speed.,Fry,It's back to work on Xmas Eve!
Fry,It's back to work on Xmas Eve!,Neptunians,Hooray!
Neptunians,Hooray!,Your,pride will mask the pain.
Your,pride will mask the pain.,Fry,Let my happy smile warm your hearts--
Fry,Let my happy smile warm your hearts--,Aide,#5: There's a toy lodged in my brain!
Aide,#5: There's a toy lodged in my brain!,And,"we're very, very sorry--"
And,"we're very, very sorry--",Do,"you want the kids to think that Santa's just a crummy, empty-handed jerk?"
Do,"you want the kids to think that Santa's just a crummy, empty-handed jerk?",Aide,#6: Ow!
Aide,#6: Ow!,Bender,Then shut your yaps and back to work.
Bender,Then shut your yaps and back to work.,And,"we've done the best we could,"
And,"we've done the best we could,",Fry,These toys soldiers are poorly painted.
Fry,These toys soldiers are poorly painted.,Leela,And they're made from inferior wood.
Leela,And they're made from inferior wood.,But,I really have to fly.
But,I really have to fly.,I'd,harpoon you in the eye.
I'd,harpoon you in the eye.,To,drown ourselves in rye.
To,drown ourselves in rye.,I,guess that some of these gorillas are OK.
I,guess that some of these gorillas are OK.,Aide,#7: We're adequate!
Aide,#7: We're adequate!,All,The elves have rescued Xmas Day! Hooray!
All,The elves have rescued Xmas Day! Hooray!,Bender,"Duh, OK!"
Bender,"Duh, OK!",Girl,Mommy! Mommy! Santa's through the perimeter!
Girl,Mommy! Mommy! Santa's through the perimeter!,Mrs.,"Grant: This is it, kids. Take your suicide pills so you won't suffer."
Mrs.,"Grant: This is it, kids. Take your suicide pills so you won't suffer.",Bender,"No, wait! I'm the good Santa. I've got toys ... at very reasonable prices!"
Bender,"No, wait! I'm the good Santa. I've got toys ... at very reasonable prices!",Jeffery,Don't listen to him. He's the father of all lies and the uncle of all tricks!
Jeffery,Don't listen to him. He's the father of all lies and the uncle of all tricks!,Bender,But I come bearing Tri-ominos!
Bender,But I come bearing Tri-ominos!,Mrs.,Grant: Go for the shins!
Mrs.,Grant: Go for the shins!,Bender,One down...
Bender,One down...,Petunia,Won't you have a cookie?
Petunia,Won't you have a cookie?,Bender,Ow! What's in these things?
Bender,Ow! What's in these things?,Petunia,Why don't you slip into something more fiery?
Petunia,Why don't you slip into something more fiery?,Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Kwanzaabot,"Yo, Kringle! What happened to you, doll?"
Kwanzaabot,"Yo, Kringle! What happened to you, doll?",Bender,"Oh, it's awful, Kwanzaabot. Everyone hates me."
Bender,"Oh, it's awful, Kwanzaabot. Everyone hates me.",Kwanzaabot,"At least they understand you, you know what I'm sayin'? Ain't nobody down with this Kwanzaa tip."
Kwanzaabot,"At least they understand you, you know what I'm sayin'? Ain't nobody down with this Kwanzaa tip.",Bender,Hey! Maybe you could lend me a hand with these deliveries.
Bender,Hey! Maybe you could lend me a hand with these deliveries.,Kwanzaabot,I've been givin' these out for 647 years!
Kwanzaabot,I've been givin' these out for 647 years!,Fry,Ew! It went sour!
Fry,Ew! It went sour!,Zoidberg,Can't I have a scented bath in peace?
Zoidberg,Can't I have a scented bath in peace?,Leela,"Remember, Professor, Bender is Santa. So we don't need to hurt him, right?"
Leela,"Remember, Professor, Bender is Santa. So we don't need to hurt him, right?",Farnsworth,"Yes, yes, yes. You sound like a broken mp3!"
Farnsworth,"Yes, yes, yes. You sound like a broken mp3!",Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Leela,Professor! Don't you remember what I told you?
Leela,Professor! Don't you remember what I told you?,Farnsworth,No!
Farnsworth,No!,Bender,"Oh, there's gotta be a better way."
Bender,"Oh, there's gotta be a better way.",Bender,"Bender, you're a genius!"
Bender,"Bender, you're a genius!",Vyolet,This creates an unrealistic standard of beauty!
Vyolet,This creates an unrealistic standard of beauty!,Bender,present!
Bender,present!,Smitty,It's Santa! And we got him cornered!
Smitty,It's Santa! And we got him cornered!,URL,"Aw, I smell a juicy promotion for me."
URL,"Aw, I smell a juicy promotion for me.",Smitty,And a juicy re-hiring-back-onto-the-force for me!
Smitty,And a juicy re-hiring-back-onto-the-force for me!,Bailiff,This Xmas Day session of court will come to order. The Honourable Judge Whitey presiding.
Bailiff,This Xmas Day session of court will come to order. The Honourable Judge Whitey presiding.,Whitey,"Santa Claus, you stand accused of crimes against humanity. How do you plead?"
Whitey,"Santa Claus, you stand accused of crimes against humanity. How do you plead?",Bender,Not Santa!
Bender,Not Santa!,Farnsworth,There he is again!
Farnsworth,There he is again!,Hyper-Chicken,"Daddy done good, huh?"
Hyper-Chicken,"Daddy done good, huh?",Bender,Isn't it true that you have been paid for your testimony?
Bender,Isn't it true that you have been paid for your testimony?,Pramala,Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy.
Pramala,Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy.,Bender,And yet you haven't said what I told you to say. How can any of us trust you?
Bender,And yet you haven't said what I told you to say. How can any of us trust you?,Whitey,Quit badgering the witness!
Whitey,Quit badgering the witness!,Hyper-Chicken,Badger? Where?
Hyper-Chicken,Badger? Where?,Whitey,"Santa Claus, I hereby sentence you to be executed at sundown."
Whitey,"Santa Claus, I hereby sentence you to be executed at sundown.",Leela,It's not fair. I just hope that dumb chicken is ashamed of himself.
Leela,It's not fair. I just hope that dumb chicken is ashamed of himself.,Smitty,Deactivated robot walking. We got a deactivated robot walking here.
Smitty,Deactivated robot walking. We got a deactivated robot walking here.,Robot,"Hey, Santa, when you see the Robot Devil, tell him I'm-a comin'!"
Robot,"Hey, Santa, when you see the Robot Devil, tell him I'm-a comin'!",Bender,"Hey, that guy said to tell you that--"
Bender,"Hey, that guy said to tell you that--",Robot,Devil: I heard him!
Robot,Devil: I heard him!,Aide,"#1: Greetings, masters. My companion and I made lots of toys."
Aide,"#1: Greetings, masters. My companion and I made lots of toys.",Leela,"Outta my way, shrimp-oh. We're here to bring Santa back so we can prove Bender's innocent."
Leela,"Outta my way, shrimp-oh. We're here to bring Santa back so we can prove Bender's innocent.",Santa,Do what you will. But we'll see who has the last ho.
Santa,Do what you will. But we'll see who has the last ho.,Leela,There.
Leela,There.,Fry,"Oh, no! The ice is melting!"
Fry,"Oh, no! The ice is melting!",Leela,The pollution from the factory! It caused a greenhouse effect.
Leela,The pollution from the factory! It caused a greenhouse effect.,Aide,#1: That would explain this heat.
Aide,#1: That would explain this heat.,Fry,And your breezy short-shorts!
Fry,And your breezy short-shorts!,Aide,"#2: Uh, yeah! That would explain it."
Aide,"#2: Uh, yeah! That would explain it.",Fry,Hurry! We've gotta think of another way to save Bender or Xmas will be ruined!
Fry,Hurry! We've gotta think of another way to save Bender or Xmas will be ruined!,Leela,Especially for Bender.
Leela,Especially for Bender.,Santa,Xmas.
Santa,Xmas.,Poopenmeyer,"Eh? When I pull this switch, these powerful electromagnets will tear you limb-from-limb, killing you in the most humane possible manner."
Poopenmeyer,"Eh? When I pull this switch, these powerful electromagnets will tear you limb-from-limb, killing you in the most humane possible manner.",Bender,"But, Mr. Mayor, that doesn't sound humane."
Bender,"But, Mr. Mayor, that doesn't sound humane.",Poopenmeyer,"The instant this random number generator reaches zero, you'll be executed."
Poopenmeyer,"The instant this random number generator reaches zero, you'll be executed.",Bender,Aw!
Bender,Aw!,Poopenmeyer,Ten. Three. Twelve. Three again.
Poopenmeyer,Ten. Three. Twelve. Three again.,Leela,Stop the execution!
Leela,Stop the execution!,Bender,Leela!
Bender,Leela!,Poopenmeyer,Fifteen. Negative eight.
Poopenmeyer,Fifteen. Negative eight.,Leela,You got the wrong Santa. And I'll prove it.
Leela,You got the wrong Santa. And I'll prove it.,Fry,I'm Santa Claus!
Fry,I'm Santa Claus!,Poopenmeyer,What? Twenty-seven.
Poopenmeyer,What? Twenty-seven.,Hermes,Santa Claus.
Hermes,Santa Claus.,Poopenmeyer,Six.
Poopenmeyer,Six.,Amy,We're also Santa Claus.
Amy,We're also Santa Claus.,Zoidberg,And I'm his friend Jesus!
Zoidberg,And I'm his friend Jesus!,Fry,of us.
Fry,of us.,Poopenmeyer,Hey! Zero!
Poopenmeyer,Hey! Zero!,Bender,"Swing low, sweet..."
Bender,"Swing low, sweet...",Fry,This is horrible.
Fry,This is horrible.,Farnsworth,But it's not boring!
Farnsworth,But it's not boring!,Santa,"Ho, ho, ho!"
Santa,"Ho, ho, ho!",Poopenmeyer,"My God! The real Santa! Get him, Jesus!"
Poopenmeyer,"My God! The real Santa! Get him, Jesus!",Zoidberg,I help those who help themselves.
Zoidberg,I help those who help themselves.,Bender,Santa! You saved my life. Please don't kill me!
Bender,Santa! You saved my life. Please don't kill me!,Santa,"I'm not here to kill you, Bender! I need you to help me save Xmas."
Santa,"I'm not here to kill you, Bender! I need you to help me save Xmas.",Bender,"Gee whiz, Santa! You want me to help you?"
Bender,"Gee whiz, Santa! You want me to help you?",Fry,Don't do it! He's evil!
Fry,Don't do it! He's evil!,Santa,"I know he is but I have no choice. I'm running late and if I don't complete my brutal rampage, well, it just wouldn't be Xmas. I guess what I'm asking is: Bender, won't you join my slaying tonight?"
Santa,"I know he is but I have no choice. I'm running late and if I don't complete my brutal rampage, well, it just wouldn't be Xmas. I guess what I'm asking is: Bender, won't you join my slaying tonight?",Bender,Well ... 'tis the season!
Bender,Well ... 'tis the season!,Man,My hair!
Man,My hair!,Woman,My wedding cake!
Woman,My wedding cake!,Santa,Let it snow!
Santa,Let it snow!,Bender,"Merry Xmas, kids!"
Bender,"Merry Xmas, kids!",Leela,"This wangs chun! After all the good we tried to do, Xmas turned out as rotten as ever."
Leela,"This wangs chun! After all the good we tried to do, Xmas turned out as rotten as ever.",Farnsworth,No heat.
Farnsworth,No heat.,Amy,No power.
Amy,No power.,Hermes,Huddled together in fear like lice in a burning wig.
Hermes,Huddled together in fear like lice in a burning wig.,Fry,Wait a second! Maybe your futuristic Xmas isn't so rotten after all.
Fry,Wait a second! Maybe your futuristic Xmas isn't so rotten after all.,Leela,"What are you talking about, you crouton? You said it yourself: Xmas should be about bringing people together, not blowing them apart."
Leela,"What are you talking about, you crouton? You said it yourself: Xmas should be about bringing people together, not blowing them apart.",Fry,has brought us together. That's the magic of Xmas!
Fry,has brought us together. That's the magic of Xmas!,Farnsworth,Hold me!
Farnsworth,Hold me!,Bender,"Hey, Kwanzaabot, where you off to?"
Bender,"Hey, Kwanzaabot, where you off to?",Kwanzaabot,"Ah, you didn't hear about it? Chanukah Zombie's having a luau at the B'nai B'rith! You comin'?"
Kwanzaabot,"Ah, you didn't hear about it? Chanukah Zombie's having a luau at the B'nai B'rith! You comin'?",Bender,Word!
Bender,Word!,Santa,"By the way, Bender, here's a small token of my appreciation for being Santa while I was trapped in the ice."
Santa,"By the way, Bender, here's a small token of my appreciation for being Santa while I was trapped in the ice.",Bender,"Hey, chief, you screwed up. There's nothing in here."
Bender,"Hey, chief, you screwed up. There's nothing in here.",Santa,"Ho, ho, ho!"
Santa,"Ho, ho, ho!",Doctor,"Push, Mrs. Fry. You're almost there."
Doctor,"Push, Mrs. Fry. You're almost there.",Mr.,"Fry: You can do it, honey! Squeeze one out for America."
Mr.,"Fry: You can do it, honey! Squeeze one out for America.",Mrs.,"Fry: Hey, keep it down! It's the 9th inning."
Mrs.,"Fry: Hey, keep it down! It's the 9th inning.",Commentator,Here's the 02 pitch to Craypool. He's taking all the way for a called strike three!
Commentator,Here's the 02 pitch to Craypool. He's taking all the way for a called strike three!,Mrs.,"Fry: Swing the bat, you bum!"
Mrs.,"Fry: Swing the bat, you bum!",Doctor,It's a boy. And look at that red hair!
Doctor,It's a boy. And look at that red hair!,Mr.,Fry: You sayin' my son's a commie?
Mr.,Fry: You sayin' my son's a commie?,Commentator,And Grote leans into the pitch. It hits him! The Mets win!
Commentator,And Grote leans into the pitch. It hits him! The Mets win!,Mrs.,Fry: This is the happiest day of my life!
Mrs.,Fry: This is the happiest day of my life!,Doctor,"Here's your baby, ma'am."
Doctor,"Here's your baby, ma'am.",Mrs.,"Fry: Yeah, OK, thanks."
Mrs.,"Fry: Yeah, OK, thanks.",Mr.,"Fry: So, what should we name him?"
Mr.,"Fry: So, what should we name him?",Mrs.,"Fry: Uh, you pick. I picked dinner last night."
Mrs.,"Fry: Uh, you pick. I picked dinner last night.",Mr.,"Fry: Well, I was thinking of Philip. After those screwdrivers?"
Mr.,"Fry: Well, I was thinking of Philip. After those screwdrivers?",Mrs.,"Fry: That's a fantastic idea. More morphine, please."
Mrs.,"Fry: That's a fantastic idea. More morphine, please.",Mr.,"Fry: Look, Yancy, it's your baby brother, Philip."
Mr.,"Fry: Look, Yancy, it's your baby brother, Philip.",Yancy,I wanna be named Philip! Me Philip! Me Philip!
Yancy,I wanna be named Philip! Me Philip! Me Philip!,Mr.,"Fry Philip, until I find a suitable model of an ICBM, you'll have to make do learnin' to fear this toy spacecraft."
Mr.,"Fry Philip, until I find a suitable model of an ICBM, you'll have to make do learnin' to fear this toy spacecraft.",Yancy,Mine! Mine!
Yancy,Mine! Mine!,Fry,C'mon!
Fry,C'mon!,Hermes,Baby needs a new pair of shoes!
Hermes,Baby needs a new pair of shoes!,Zoidberg,To hell with your spoiled baby! I need those shoes!
Zoidberg,To hell with your spoiled baby! I need those shoes!,Announcer,"... number 3, in a quantum finish."
Announcer,"... number 3, in a quantum finish.",Farnsworth,No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it.
Farnsworth,No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it.,Leela,"How'd you do, Fry?"
Leela,"How'd you do, Fry?",Fry,I'll tell you when my horse finishes ... bad.
Fry,I'll tell you when my horse finishes ... bad.,Mr.,Wong: In today's field we own four horses and two jockeys.
Mr.,Wong: In today's field we own four horses and two jockeys.,Mrs.,"Wong: We just put our best jockey out to stud, Amy. He's perfect for you!"
Mrs.,"Wong: We just put our best jockey out to stud, Amy. He's perfect for you!",Jockey,"Hey, baby! Ever do it in a suitcase?"
Jockey,"Hey, baby! Ever do it in a suitcase?",Bender,Ooh! Look! It's the Centaur race.
Bender,Ooh! Look! It's the Centaur race.,Fry,I meant tongue luck.
Fry,I meant tongue luck.,Announcer,And the winner is number four -- Steven.
Announcer,And the winner is number four -- Steven.,Fry,I am so unlucky! I've run over black cats that were luckier than me.
Fry,I am so unlucky! I've run over black cats that were luckier than me.,Paper-hatted,salesman straight from the horse's mouth.
Paper-hatted,salesman straight from the horse's mouth.,Leela,Hmm.
Leela,Hmm.,Hermes,It all sounds good.
Hermes,It all sounds good.,Paper-hatted,salesman: All our horses are 100% horse-fed for that double-horse juiced-in goodness.
Paper-hatted,salesman: All our horses are 100% horse-fed for that double-horse juiced-in goodness.,Leela,I'll have the cholesterol-free omelette with horse beaters.
Leela,I'll have the cholesterol-free omelette with horse beaters.,Paper-hatted,"salesman: And you, sir, how can I horse you?"
Paper-hatted,"salesman: And you, sir, how can I horse you?",Hermes,I'll have a horse coke.
Hermes,I'll have a horse coke.,Paper-hatted,salesman: Horse Pepsi OK?
Paper-hatted,salesman: Horse Pepsi OK?,Hermes,Nay.
Hermes,Nay.,Jockey,Hey! What are you doing?
Jockey,Hey! What are you doing?,Bender,This.
Bender,This.,Fry,"Man, it's contagious!"
Fry,"Man, it's contagious!",Announcer,And the winner is Harry Trotter by the entire racetrack.
Announcer,And the winner is Harry Trotter by the entire racetrack.,Bender,That'll teach those other horses to take drugs!
Bender,That'll teach those other horses to take drugs!,Fry,If you think bad luck can defeat me then you don't know my name is Philip J.--
Fry,If you think bad luck can defeat me then you don't know my name is Philip J.--,Paper-hatted,salesman: That is one unlucky guy!
Paper-hatted,salesman: That is one unlucky guy!,Fry,Kareem's got the sky hook but Philip J. Fry's got the space hook!
Fry,Kareem's got the sky hook but Philip J. Fry's got the space hook!,Yancy,Yancy drives; he goes up with his patented space hook!
Yancy,Yancy drives; he goes up with his patented space hook!,Fry,patented space hook! You stole it!
Fry,patented space hook! You stole it!,Yancy,You're not the president of it!
Yancy,You're not the president of it!,Fry,Holy camolie! A seven-leaf clover!
Fry,Holy camolie! A seven-leaf clover!,Yancy,I'm dying of old age!
Yancy,I'm dying of old age!,Fry,Game over! Phil wins! Yancy's fans are stunned! There'll be no celebration at the Yancy-dome!
Fry,Game over! Phil wins! Yancy's fans are stunned! There'll be no celebration at the Yancy-dome!,Yancy,Lucky.
Yancy,Lucky.,Leela,"Well, someone's in a good mode."
Leela,"Well, someone's in a good mode.",Bender,"at the track! Also, I rigged one race."
Bender,"at the track! Also, I rigged one race.",Fry,Pah! I'd have won a lot of money too if I still had my lucky seven-leaf clover. Plus I'd still have my hair.
Fry,Pah! I'd have won a lot of money too if I still had my lucky seven-leaf clover. Plus I'd still have my hair.,Hairbot,"I got your page, Mr. Fry. Your new hair is ready."
Hairbot,"I got your page, Mr. Fry. Your new hair is ready.",Amy,So whatever happened to this seven-leaf clover?
Amy,So whatever happened to this seven-leaf clover?,Fry,I hid it in a secret hiding place whose location I never told anyone. Not even Scruffy.
Fry,I hid it in a secret hiding place whose location I never told anyone. Not even Scruffy.,Zoidberg,"So the clover is still in the hiding place, maybe?"
Zoidberg,"So the clover is still in the hiding place, maybe?",Fry,"Hey, yeah! Maybe it is still there. Underground in the ruins of Old New York, helping some ant defeat another ant or helping some piece of dirt turn its luck around."
Fry,"Hey, yeah! Maybe it is still there. Underground in the ruins of Old New York, helping some ant defeat another ant or helping some piece of dirt turn its luck around.",Farnsworth,Dirt doesn't need luck.
Farnsworth,Dirt doesn't need luck.,Fry.,"Some of the tunnels have metal bars so I'll need someone who's good at bending. Leela, how 'bout you?"
Fry.,"Some of the tunnels have metal bars so I'll need someone who's good at bending. Leela, how 'bout you?",Leela,Sure. I'll do it.
Leela,Sure. I'll do it.,Bender,Like hell you will! Bending's my middle name.
Bender,Like hell you will! Bending's my middle name.,Fry,It is?
Fry,It is?,Bender,Yep. My full name is Bender Bending Rodríguez.
Bender,Yep. My full name is Bender Bending Rodríguez.,Fry,"From this moment on, I declare my bad luck officially over."
Fry,"From this moment on, I declare my bad luck officially over.",Bender,He was fun.
Bender,He was fun.,Leela,"Well, if we get bored looking for the clover, I've got Tetris on this thing."
Leela,"Well, if we get bored looking for the clover, I've got Tetris on this thing.",Fry,"Look, up ahead."
Fry,"Look, up ahead.",Bender,Old New York: The city that inspired a casino in Las Vegas.
Bender,Old New York: The city that inspired a casino in Las Vegas.,Fry,"Uh, oops!"
Fry,"Uh, oops!",Bender,New York is so burned.
Bender,New York is so burned.,Fry,And remember when Mayor Giuliani cracked down on jaywalking?
Fry,And remember when Mayor Giuliani cracked down on jaywalking?,Leela,No.
Leela,No.,Fry,"Well, Rudy, how do you like this action?"
Fry,"Well, Rudy, how do you like this action?",Teen,#1 Name?
Teen,#1 Name?,Fry,Cosmic F.
Fry,Cosmic F.,Teen,#1: Style?
Teen,#1: Style?,Fry,Outer space.
Fry,Outer space.,Teen,#1: Special moves?
Teen,#1: Special moves?,Fry,The moonwalk ... the robot ... the zero G.
Fry,The moonwalk ... the robot ... the zero G.,Teen,#1: Name?
Teen,#1: Name?,Yancy,Cosmic Y.
Yancy,Cosmic Y.,Teen,#1: Style?
Teen,#1: Style?,Yancy,"Uh, deep space!"
Yancy,"Uh, deep space!",Fry,Deep space?
Fry,Deep space?,Teen,#1: Special moves?
Teen,#1: Special moves?,Yancy,The spacewalk...
Yancy,The spacewalk...,Fry,Hey!
Fry,Hey!,Yancy,The robot...
Yancy,The robot...,Fry,The robot? That's similar to mine!
Fry,The robot? That's similar to mine!,Yancy,The zero G.
Yancy,The zero G.,Fry,What are you doing? You totally ripped off my routine.
Fry,What are you doing? You totally ripped off my routine.,Yancy,You callin' me a biter?
Yancy,You callin' me a biter?,Fry,"everything from me, Yancy? Find your own life and live it."
Fry,"everything from me, Yancy? Find your own life and live it.",Yancy,Stop illin'! Word!
Yancy,Stop illin'! Word!,Fry,Well I'd like to see you try and steal this. The septuple-head-spin.
Fry,Well I'd like to see you try and steal this. The septuple-head-spin.,Yancy,He's just scratching. No one's ever done more than a quadruple.
Yancy,He's just scratching. No one's ever done more than a quadruple.,Fry,"Oh, yeah? Noticeably F.A.T., rewind the tape."
Fry,"Oh, yeah? Noticeably F.A.T., rewind the tape.",Teen,#1: Crazy sucker!
Teen,#1: Crazy sucker!,Teen,"#2: Phil, you're hot!"
Teen,"#2: Phil, you're hot!",Noticeably,"F.A.T.: That was ice cold, bro!"
Noticeably,"F.A.T.: That was ice cold, bro!",Teen,"#1 see you try anything that crazy again, this crew might just have some new parachute pants!"
Teen,"#1 see you try anything that crazy again, this crew might just have some new parachute pants!",Yancy,Stop hogging the clover.
Yancy,Stop hogging the clover.,Fry,"Alright, team, let's go find that clover!"
Fry,"Alright, team, let's go find that clover!",Leela,Which way to your house? The sign says we're at 71st Street.
Leela,Which way to your house? The sign says we're at 71st Street.,Fry,"71st Street? Hmm, never heard of it. Downtown could be in any direction."
Fry,"71st Street? Hmm, never heard of it. Downtown could be in any direction.",Bender,No sweat. We'll just take a spin on the B-train!
Bender,No sweat. We'll just take a spin on the B-train!,Bender,This is the Brooklyn-bound B-train making local stops at wherever the hell I feel like. Watch for the closing doors.
Bender,This is the Brooklyn-bound B-train making local stops at wherever the hell I feel like. Watch for the closing doors.,Bender,"Wake up, buddy. End of the line!"
Bender,"Wake up, buddy. End of the line!",Fry,"That's the bench where I found some shirts! That fire hydrant! In summer we'd light it on fire! On that corner, some guy with a bushy beard handed out a socialist newsletter!"
Fry,"That's the bench where I found some shirts! That fire hydrant! In summer we'd light it on fire! On that corner, some guy with a bushy beard handed out a socialist newsletter!",Bender,Was it poorly Xeroxed?
Bender,Was it poorly Xeroxed?,Fry,You'd better believe it!
Fry,You'd better believe it!,Leela,"The old comedians were right, this place is a lot different from L.A."
Leela,"The old comedians were right, this place is a lot different from L.A.",Mutant,"Pardon me, but did I overhear you saying you used to live here?"
Mutant,"Pardon me, but did I overhear you saying you used to live here?",Fry,That's right.
Fry,That's right.,Mutant,Did you know Andy Goldman?
Mutant,Did you know Andy Goldman?,Fry,"Yeah, he was my neighbour. Why?"
Fry,"Yeah, he was my neighbour. Why?",Mutant,I mutated from him!
Mutant,I mutated from him!,Fry,Get outta here! What's Andy up to these days?
Fry,Get outta here! What's Andy up to these days?,Andy,The short answer is I'm teaching.
Andy,The short answer is I'm teaching.,Leela,He seemed nice.
Leela,He seemed nice.,Fry,Sure. When he's sober!
Fry,Sure. When he's sober!,Fry,Holy camolies! The house I grew up in. It's still there!
Fry,Holy camolies! The house I grew up in. It's still there!,Bender,place.
Bender,place.,Yancy,That stupid clover is a worthless piece of garbage! Give it! Give it! Give it!
Yancy,That stupid clover is a worthless piece of garbage! Give it! Give it! Give it!,Fry,Mom! Help!
Fry,Mom! Help!,Mrs.,Fry: Yes!
Mrs.,Fry: Yes!,Fry,"Mom, Yancy's trying to steal my clover."
Fry,"Mom, Yancy's trying to steal my clover.",Mrs.,"Fry: Yancy, stealing is wrong."
Mrs.,"Fry: Yancy, stealing is wrong.",Yancy,You're dead meat!
Yancy,You're dead meat!,Mr.,Fry: What's happenin' up there? Did Kremlin Joe let fly with the nukes?
Mr.,Fry: What's happenin' up there? Did Kremlin Joe let fly with the nukes?,Fry,"Not yet, commander. Yancy's just trying to steal my stuff as usual."
Fry,"Not yet, commander. Yancy's just trying to steal my stuff as usual.",Mr.,Fry: Well he'd better keep his hands off these bananas. Gonna need them when the radiation turns us all into monkeys.
Mr.,Fry: Well he'd better keep his hands off these bananas. Gonna need them when the radiation turns us all into monkeys.,Fry,"Stay safe, clover. I may need you again someday."
Fry,"Stay safe, clover. I may need you again someday.",Fry,This was the storage room. My dad spent years turning it into a bomb shelter.
Fry,This was the storage room. My dad spent years turning it into a bomb shelter.,Leela,And yet you guys never had a single nuclear war.
Leela,And yet you guys never had a single nuclear war.,Bender,What a waste.
Bender,What a waste.,Fry,It's stuck!
Fry,It's stuck!,Bender,There we go!
Bender,There we go!,Fry,soundtrack.
Fry,soundtrack.,Bender,You mean breakfast club sandwich?
Bender,You mean breakfast club sandwich?,Leela,How do you know it didn't disintegrate?
Leela,How do you know it didn't disintegrate?,Fry,Everything else in here held up OK.
Fry,Everything else in here held up OK.,Bender,by Huey Lewis.
Bender,by Huey Lewis.,Fry,I don't know why my brother hated me so much.
Fry,I don't know why my brother hated me so much.,Leela,"Oh, brothers always fight. I'm sure deep down he loved you. He just never got a chance to say it before you got frozen."
Leela,"Oh, brothers always fight. I'm sure deep down he loved you. He just never got a chance to say it before you got frozen.",Fry,You think? 'Cause I always kinda wished that--
Fry,You think? 'Cause I always kinda wished that--,Bender,Who is that God-like figure?
Bender,Who is that God-like figure?,Fry!,"And there, in his lapel, my seven-leaf clover! I knew he stole it."
Fry!,"And there, in his lapel, my seven-leaf clover! I knew he stole it.",Leela,"Hold the phone. If that's Yancy, why does the inscription say Philip J. Fry?"
Leela,"Hold the phone. If that's Yancy, why does the inscription say Philip J. Fry?",Fry,name! Good Lord. He ditched his goofy name and stole mine!
Fry,name! Good Lord. He ditched his goofy name and stole mine!,Bender,"of men, was the first person on Mars."
Bender,"of men, was the first person on Mars.",Fry,And now he broke my hand!
Fry,And now he broke my hand!,Bender,His legend lives on.
Bender,His legend lives on.,Farnsworth,So you opened the record vault and the clover was gone?
Farnsworth,So you opened the record vault and the clover was gone?,Bender,Yep. Nothing in there but all the best music of the 1980's in one amazing collection.
Bender,Yep. Nothing in there but all the best music of the 1980's in one amazing collection.,Leela,"Survivor, Pat Benatar, The Scorpions. The list goes on."
Leela,"Survivor, Pat Benatar, The Scorpions. The list goes on.",Fry,That clover helped my ratfink brother steal my dream of going into space. Now I'll never get there.
Fry,That clover helped my ratfink brother steal my dream of going into space. Now I'll never get there.,Leela,You went there this morning for doughnuts.
Leela,You went there this morning for doughnuts.,Hermes,Philip J. Fry.
Hermes,Philip J. Fry.,Fry,Philip J. Fry! He stole my name after I got frozen.
Fry,Philip J. Fry! He stole my name after I got frozen.,Farnsworth,It also opened my calendar to Friday and ordered me some French fries.
Farnsworth,It also opened my calendar to Friday and ordered me some French fries.,Narrator,... a feat that has never since been equalled.
Narrator,... a feat that has never since been equalled.,Fry,That should have been me!
Fry,That should have been me!,Narrator,The ever-lucky Fry made his fortune after striking oil in the bathroom of the mansion he had won in a lottery.
Narrator,The ever-lucky Fry made his fortune after striking oil in the bathroom of the mansion he had won in a lottery.,Fry,That's my clover! Yancy stole it!
Fry,That's my clover! Yancy stole it!,Narrator,"After a whirlwind fling with Icelandic supermodel Njörd, Fry scored a string of top 10 hits with his rock band Leaf Seven, known for their hypnotic rhythms, driving baselines and memorable hooks."
Narrator,"After a whirlwind fling with Icelandic supermodel Njörd, Fry scored a string of top 10 hits with his rock band Leaf Seven, known for their hypnotic rhythms, driving baselines and memorable hooks.",Fry,That's what I'm known for!
Fry,That's what I'm known for!,Man,"Phil came in, right, strummed out this tune, yeah, and I said, That's a number one record!"
Man,"Phil came in, right, strummed out this tune, yeah, and I said, That's a number one record!",Narrator,"Today, Fry spends most of his time in his grave in Orbiting Meadows National Cemetery, buried with the trademark seven-leaf clover that will bring him luck in the next life, perhaps some Egyptians believe."
Narrator,"Today, Fry spends most of his time in his grave in Orbiting Meadows National Cemetery, buried with the trademark seven-leaf clover that will bring him luck in the next life, perhaps some Egyptians believe.",Fry,"So that's where my clover is? Hey, is that orbiting cemetery near here?"
Fry,"So that's where my clover is? Hey, is that orbiting cemetery near here?",Leela,It will be in a couple hours.
Leela,It will be in a couple hours.,Fry,"Good. Leela, Bender, we're going grave robbing."
Fry,"Good. Leela, Bender, we're going grave robbing.",Bender,I'll get my kit.
Bender,I'll get my kit.,Yancy,"Thanks for lending me your tux, Dad. It'll be perfect for my wedding."
Yancy,"Thanks for lending me your tux, Dad. It'll be perfect for my wedding.",Mr.,Fry I just wish your brother were still around to see this.
Mr.,Fry I just wish your brother were still around to see this.,Mrs.,"Fry: I'll never forget the day Philip disappeared. Wisconsin won the Rose Bowl 17-9. Oh, I miss him."
Mrs.,"Fry: I'll never forget the day Philip disappeared. Wisconsin won the Rose Bowl 17-9. Oh, I miss him.",Yancy,"Oh, that reminds me: I was thinking I'd rummage through Phil's records for something to play at the wedding."
Yancy,"Oh, that reminds me: I was thinking I'd rummage through Phil's records for something to play at the wedding.",Mrs.,Fry: Have a look downstairs. Your brother may be missing but his crap sure isn't.
Mrs.,Fry: Have a look downstairs. Your brother may be missing but his crap sure isn't.,Yancy.,This'll clear out the room at the end of the reception.
Yancy.,This'll clear out the room at the end of the reception.,Leela,They buried your brother in the World Heroes section? I'm impressed.
Leela,They buried your brother in the World Heroes section? I'm impressed.,Fry,I should be the one in that grave!
Fry,I should be the one in that grave!,Fry,Hmm. We lost Bender.
Fry,Hmm. We lost Bender.,Bender,There! Now no one will be able to say I don't own John Larroquette's spine.
Bender,There! Now no one will be able to say I don't own John Larroquette's spine.,Fry,Aha! My brother's grave!
Fry,Aha! My brother's grave!,Leela,"Philip Fry, the original Martian."
Leela,"Philip Fry, the original Martian.",Bender,he ever was.
Bender,he ever was.,Fry,It's clovering time!
Fry,It's clovering time!,Yancy's,"wife: So, had any ideas for names, Yancy?"
Yancy's,"wife: So, had any ideas for names, Yancy?",Yancy,It's a lucky clover that can help you be successful whatever you do -- even breakdancing -- and it once belonged to someone very special.
Yancy,It's a lucky clover that can help you be successful whatever you do -- even breakdancing -- and it once belonged to someone very special.,Yancy's,wife: I know what name you wanna give him Yancy. It's OK.
Yancy's,wife: I know what name you wanna give him Yancy. It's OK.,Yancy,"Son, I'm naming you Philip J. Fry in honour of my little brother, who I miss every day. I love you, Philip, and I always will."
Yancy,"Son, I'm naming you Philip J. Fry in honour of my little brother, who I miss every day. I love you, Philip, and I always will.",Fry,"Here lies Philip J. Fry, named for his uncle to carry on his spirit."
Fry,"Here lies Philip J. Fry, named for his uncle to carry on his spirit.",Bender,"Sorry, ladies, I'm taken! Hey, Fry, you want me to smack the corpse up a little?"
Bender,"Sorry, ladies, I'm taken! Hey, Fry, you want me to smack the corpse up a little?",Leela,"Uh, Bender, I think Fry needs a moment alone."
Leela,"Uh, Bender, I think Fry needs a moment alone.",Bender,"Alright, grab a shovel. I'm only one skull short of a Mouseketeer reunion."
Bender,"Alright, grab a shovel. I'm only one skull short of a Mouseketeer reunion.",Leela,"Fry, I know those cookies are fresh-a-licious but they produce an awful lot of trash."
Leela,"Fry, I know those cookies are fresh-a-licious but they produce an awful lot of trash.",Bender,Ah!
Bender,Ah!,Leela,"And, Bender, that aerosol head spray makes your antenna smell nice--"
Leela,"And, Bender, that aerosol head spray makes your antenna smell nice--",Bender,Thank you.
Bender,Thank you.,Leela,But it's doing long-term damage to the planet.
Leela,But it's doing long-term damage to the planet.,Bender,So? It's not like it's the only one we've got.
Bender,So? It's not like it's the only one we've got.,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! I'm sending you on an extremely controversial mission."
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! I'm sending you on an extremely controversial mission.",Fry,Controversial?
Fry,Controversial?,Farnsworth,"Oh, my, no."
Farnsworth,"Oh, my, no.",Farnsworth,"For this highly controversial mission you'll be towing the Juan Valdez, an orbiting supertanker full of rich Columbian dark matter."
Farnsworth,"For this highly controversial mission you'll be towing the Juan Valdez, an orbiting supertanker full of rich Columbian dark matter.",Leela,Dark matter oil? What if we hit something? The tanker could leak.
Leela,Dark matter oil? What if we hit something? The tanker could leak.,Farnsworth,"Now, once you've hauled the tanker past the protestors--"
Farnsworth,"Now, once you've hauled the tanker past the protestors--",Leela,Protestors?
Leela,Protestors?,Farnsworth,"Correct. 6,000 hulls."
Farnsworth,"Correct. 6,000 hulls.",Leela,Why do we have to fly within three feet of this penguin preserve on Pluto?
Leela,Why do we have to fly within three feet of this penguin preserve on Pluto?,Farnsworth,To avoid the tollbooth.
Farnsworth,To avoid the tollbooth.,Fry,"OK, she's all restocked with emergency jam. Let's get going."
Fry,"OK, she's all restocked with emergency jam. Let's get going.",Leela,"At the risk of sounding negative: No! Look, Professor, I can't participate in this mission."
Leela,"At the risk of sounding negative: No! Look, Professor, I can't participate in this mission.",Farnsworth,What are you yapping about?
Farnsworth,What are you yapping about?,Leela,"This time it's your reckless disregard for the environment. In fact, I'm gonna go join those protestors."
Leela,"This time it's your reckless disregard for the environment. In fact, I'm gonna go join those protestors.",Farnsworth,This is an outrage! I demand you hand over your captain's jacket.
Farnsworth,This is an outrage! I demand you hand over your captain's jacket.,Leela,This is my normal jacket. I've had it for 10 years.
Leela,This is my normal jacket. I've had it for 10 years.,Farnsworth,is the new captain!
Farnsworth,is the new captain!,Farnsworth,"That's right. Being captain is about intuition and heart. A good captain can't have either one. That's why cold, logical Bender is perfect for the job."
Farnsworth,"That's right. Being captain is about intuition and heart. A good captain can't have either one. That's why cold, logical Bender is perfect for the job.",Bender,"Well, I do think of human life as expendable."
Bender,"Well, I do think of human life as expendable.",Fry,No fair! Leela was training me to be captain. She even let me sit in her lap and steer -- in this comic I drew.
Fry,No fair! Leela was training me to be captain. She even let me sit in her lap and steer -- in this comic I drew.,Zoidberg,Ooh! The new one's out!
Zoidberg,Ooh! The new one's out!,Bender,"Now look spry, men! We launch at six bells!"
Bender,"Now look spry, men! We launch at six bells!",Waterfall,"Sr. Please hold your thumbs until the end. Now, folks, it's time to stop that tanker with a non-violent human circle."
Waterfall,"Sr. Please hold your thumbs until the end. Now, folks, it's time to stop that tanker with a non-violent human circle.",Leela,Why do we have to resort to non-violence? Can't we just kick their asses?
Leela,Why do we have to resort to non-violence? Can't we just kick their asses?,Waterfall,"Sr.: Now, little lady, those people's asses are living things too."
Waterfall,"Sr.: Now, little lady, those people's asses are living things too.",Bender,"Aye! We're hitched up tighter than Davy Jones' U-Haul! At ease, men."
Bender,"Aye! We're hitched up tighter than Davy Jones' U-Haul! At ease, men.",Fry,I am at ease.
Fry,I am at ease.,Bender,"Mr. Fry, I like to give my first mate an informal nickname. From now on you will be known as ... Wiggles!"
Bender,"Mr. Fry, I like to give my first mate an informal nickname. From now on you will be known as ... Wiggles!",Fry,The hell I will! Have you even read the Captain's Handbook?
Fry,The hell I will! Have you even read the Captain's Handbook?,Bender,I have now. And what's Peter Parrot's first rule of captaining?
Bender,I have now. And what's Peter Parrot's first rule of captaining?,Bender,"Correct, Wiggles. You've just earned an invitation to the captain's table"
Bender,"Correct, Wiggles. You've just earned an invitation to the captain's table",Zoidberg,The captain's table! What an honour!
Zoidberg,The captain's table! What an honour!,Waterfall,Sr.: Our peace ring has 'em trapped like a tiger in a washing machine!
Waterfall,Sr.: Our peace ring has 'em trapped like a tiger in a washing machine!,Leela,Get ready!
Leela,Get ready!,Protestor,#1: Look out!
Protestor,#1: Look out!,Protestor,#2: Hold on!
Protestor,#2: Hold on!,Waterfall,Sr.: Here they come!
Waterfall,Sr.: Here they come!,Leela,"When you were planning this peace ring, didn't you realise spaceships can move in three dimensions?"
Leela,"When you were planning this peace ring, didn't you realise spaceships can move in three dimensions?",Waterfall,"Sr.: No, I did not."
Waterfall,"Sr.: No, I did not.",Waterfall,"Sr. If rubbing frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey, I don't wanna be right!"
Waterfall,"Sr. If rubbing frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey, I don't wanna be right!",Waterfall,Sr.: This here is our penguin preserve.
Waterfall,Sr.: This here is our penguin preserve.,Leela,Aw! They're so cute! They're like if puppies and kittens could have babies!
Leela,Aw! They're so cute! They're like if puppies and kittens could have babies!,Waterfall,Sr.: We use hand puppets around the young'uns to simulate a natural environment.
Waterfall,Sr.: We use hand puppets around the young'uns to simulate a natural environment.,Leela,That's adorable!
Leela,That's adorable!,Bender,"But I suppose it's this medal I'm most proud of, Wiggles. I won it for saving the children of Earth from a giant kangaroo. It was on the Australian news, you probably didn't see it."
Bender,"But I suppose it's this medal I'm most proud of, Wiggles. I won it for saving the children of Earth from a giant kangaroo. It was on the Australian news, you probably didn't see it.",Zoidberg,Brilliant!
Zoidberg,Brilliant!,Fry,"Would you cram a sock in it, Bender? Those aren't even medals, they're bottle-caps and pepperoni slices!"
Fry,"Would you cram a sock in it, Bender? Those aren't even medals, they're bottle-caps and pepperoni slices!",Bender,"Thank you, steward. Wiggles, weren't you about to propose a toast to your gallant captain?"
Bender,"Thank you, steward. Wiggles, weren't you about to propose a toast to your gallant captain?",Fry,"... at being a big jerk who's stupid and his big, ugly face is as dumb as a butt."
Fry,"... at being a big jerk who's stupid and his big, ugly face is as dumb as a butt.",Bender,"Eh, I've heard better."
Bender,"Eh, I've heard better.",Fry,If I were in charge I wouldn't treat you like this. You're nothing but a big blowhard.
Fry,If I were in charge I wouldn't treat you like this. You're nothing but a big blowhard.,Bender,"Sir, you forget yourself! Shut up!"
Bender,"Sir, you forget yourself! Shut up!",Fry,Being captain is obviously more important to you than being my friend. I'm going.
Fry,Being captain is obviously more important to you than being my friend. I'm going.,Bender,Going? But a captain can't drink without his first mate.
Bender,Going? But a captain can't drink without his first mate.,Zoidberg,You can drink with me maybe?
Zoidberg,You can drink with me maybe?,Bender,I don't feel like drinking.
Bender,I don't feel like drinking.,Zoidberg,Three.
Zoidberg,Three.,And,the--
And,the--,Zoidberg,"Captain, please, have some liquor. You robots need alcohol to function."
Zoidberg,"Captain, please, have some liquor. You robots need alcohol to function.",Bender,I'm a good captain.
Bender,I'm a good captain.,Zoidberg,"Please, sir, I love you like a father!"
Zoidberg,"Please, sir, I love you like a father!",Protestor,"#3: Here they come. Oh, I hope they read my sign!"
Protestor,"#3: Here they come. Oh, I hope they read my sign!",Leela,Bender's flying too low! And he's upside-down!
Leela,Bender's flying too low! And he's upside-down!,Protestor,#3: He must be talking on a cell phone!
Protestor,#3: He must be talking on a cell phone!,Fry,What's happening?
Fry,What's happening?,Zoidberg,"All 6,000 hulls have been breached!"
Zoidberg,"All 6,000 hulls have been breached!",Fry,"Oh, the fools! If only they'd built it with 6,001 hulls! When will they learn?"
Fry,"Oh, the fools! If only they'd built it with 6,001 hulls! When will they learn?",Linda,story. The crisis on Pluto worsens as dark matter spreads throughout the penguin habitat. The images are truly horrific.
Linda,story. The crisis on Pluto worsens as dark matter spreads throughout the penguin habitat. The images are truly horrific.,Leela,"I don't think any of us can understand how those poor, oil-drenched penguins feel."
Leela,"I don't think any of us can understand how those poor, oil-drenched penguins feel.",Morbo,"At the time of the crash, the tanker captain had an alcohol level of .08 percent -- well below the legal limit for robots."
Morbo,"At the time of the crash, the tanker captain had an alcohol level of .08 percent -- well below the legal limit for robots.",Hyper-Chicken,"Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused."
Hyper-Chicken,"Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused.",Bender,"Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn't you just got me the death penalty?"
Bender,"Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn't you just got me the death penalty?",Hyper-Chicken,I'd have done better but it's plum hard pleadin' a case while awaitin' trial for that there incompetence!
Hyper-Chicken,I'd have done better but it's plum hard pleadin' a case while awaitin' trial for that there incompetence!,Bender,"Yeah, uh, good luck with that."
Bender,"Yeah, uh, good luck with that.",Leela,Now you stay away from those puffin twins.
Leela,Now you stay away from those puffin twins.,Waterfall,"Sr.: Good way to avoid frostbite, folks: Put your hands between your buttocks. That's nature's pocket."
Waterfall,"Sr.: Good way to avoid frostbite, folks: Put your hands between your buttocks. That's nature's pocket.",Leela,Uh ... I think I'll go check on Bender.
Leela,Uh ... I think I'll go check on Bender.,Waterfall,Sr.: Watch that he doesn't pick your pocket.
Waterfall,Sr.: Watch that he doesn't pick your pocket.,Bender,"Ah, can't beat fresh-squeezed!"
Bender,"Ah, can't beat fresh-squeezed!",Leela,And clean the black parts too.
Leela,And clean the black parts too.,Smitty,Are they black with white feathers or white with black feathers?
Smitty,Are they black with white feathers or white with black feathers?,URL,beautiful!
URL,beautiful!,Bender,"Oh, ho! What's this?"
Bender,"Oh, ho! What's this?",URL,"Aw, man! He got away!"
URL,"Aw, man! He got away!",Smitty,I guess this is why Chief says no hugging.
Smitty,I guess this is why Chief says no hugging.,Waterfall,"Sr.: Good work, everyone. I suggest you all go get some sleep. Me, well, I'm gonna stay up all night singing songs about penguins in a fine, piercing tenor."
Waterfall,"Sr.: Good work, everyone. I suggest you all go get some sleep. Me, well, I'm gonna stay up all night singing songs about penguins in a fine, piercing tenor.",Leela,"Here robot, robot, robot."
Leela,"Here robot, robot, robot.",Leela,"Hey, why weren't you Kong donkeys outside cleaning up?"
Leela,"Hey, why weren't you Kong donkeys outside cleaning up?",Zoidberg,And eating penguin eggs.
Zoidberg,And eating penguin eggs.,Fry,Bender? Off catastrophising some other planet?
Fry,Bender? Off catastrophising some other planet?,Zoidberg,"Damnit, Fry! He may have done wrong, but he's still your captain."
Zoidberg,"Damnit, Fry! He may have done wrong, but he's still your captain.",Leela,I'm worried about him. He didn't come back with the group.
Leela,I'm worried about him. He didn't come back with the group.,Fry,He didn't?
Fry,He didn't?,Leela,"No, and with wind-chill it's 20 degrees below absolute zero. I'd better go find him."
Leela,"No, and with wind-chill it's 20 degrees below absolute zero. I'd better go find him.",Fry,To the ship.
Fry,To the ship.,Leela,Why don't you just walk? He was only about 20 yards from here.
Leela,Why don't you just walk? He was only about 20 yards from here.,Fry,"Madam, I am in command now."
Fry,"Madam, I am in command now.",Zoidberg,"Such a man! I'd follow him to hell and back, I would."
Zoidberg,"Such a man! I'd follow him to hell and back, I would.",Bender,"What's this water made of, ice? Forget this!"
Bender,"What's this water made of, ice? Forget this!",Penguin,#1: Full of fish?
Penguin,#1: Full of fish?,Bender,Not entirely.
Bender,Not entirely.,Penguin,#1: Then let's fish.
Penguin,#1: Then let's fish.,Zoidberg,"Captain, I don't think we're on Pluto any longer. In fact, we may have left space as we know it."
Zoidberg,"Captain, I don't think we're on Pluto any longer. In fact, we may have left space as we know it.",Fry,Then where are we? You said you knew how to navigate.
Fry,Then where are we? You said you knew how to navigate.,Zoidberg,Stop yelling at me!
Zoidberg,Stop yelling at me!,Waterfall,"Sr.. It's like a perverted trail mix of penguin oestrogen, penguin Viagra and Spanish penguin fly. Why, it's making them ultra-fertile."
Waterfall,"Sr.. It's like a perverted trail mix of penguin oestrogen, penguin Viagra and Spanish penguin fly. Why, it's making them ultra-fertile.",Leela,How ultra?
Leela,How ultra?,Waterfall,Sr. are laying eggs.
Waterfall,Sr. are laying eggs.,Doctor,This man is over-gasped.
Doctor,This man is over-gasped.,Waterfall,Sr. to death.
Waterfall,Sr. to death.,Leela,"Oh, if only we hadn't flown penguins to Pluto and dumped oil on them, this might never have happened. Can't we stop them from multiplying?"
Leela,"Oh, if only we hadn't flown penguins to Pluto and dumped oil on them, this might never have happened. Can't we stop them from multiplying?",Waterfall,"Sr.: Yes, I reckon it is our responsibility. And thankfully we have a plan."
Waterfall,"Sr.: Yes, I reckon it is our responsibility. And thankfully we have a plan.",Leela,What is it? We'll do anything.
Leela,What is it? We'll do anything.,Waterfall,"Sr.: Everyone, grab your guns. I declare penguin hunting season officially open."
Waterfall,"Sr.: Everyone, grab your guns. I declare penguin hunting season officially open.",Leela,You can't shoot penguins. Isn't there some way to keep them from breeding?
Leela,You can't shoot penguins. Isn't there some way to keep them from breeding?,Waterfall,"Sr.: Cold showers don't work on Antarctic creatures. Now surely you agree that a quick, semi-painless death is a damn sight better than weeks of starvation."
Waterfall,"Sr.: Cold showers don't work on Antarctic creatures. Now surely you agree that a quick, semi-painless death is a damn sight better than weeks of starvation.",Leela,"penguins, not to hunt them."
Leela,"penguins, not to hunt them.",Waterfall,Sr.: This time the two are one and the same! Now are you with us or are you gonna let innocent penguins suffer?
Waterfall,Sr.: This time the two are one and the same! Now are you with us or are you gonna let innocent penguins suffer?,Leela,"Oh, God! It's inhuman! It's like Hong Kong! I'll do it!"
Leela,"Oh, God! It's inhuman! It's like Hong Kong! I'll do it!",Waterfall,Sr.: That's a good old-fashioned gun. Simple point-and-click interface. Rifle check!
Waterfall,Sr.: That's a good old-fashioned gun. Simple point-and-click interface. Rifle check!,Hunter,"#1: Oh, yeah!"
Hunter,"#1: Oh, yeah!",Hunter,#2: Wee doggy!
Hunter,#2: Wee doggy!,Leela,"Hey, you're enjoying this."
Leela,"Hey, you're enjoying this.",Waterfall,"Sr. to shoot penguins, well, you might as well enjoy it."
Waterfall,"Sr. to shoot penguins, well, you might as well enjoy it.",Leela,"I'm sorry, but if it's fun in any way it's not environmentalism."
Leela,"I'm sorry, but if it's fun in any way it's not environmentalism.",Waterfall,"Sr.: Oh, really? How 'bout blowing up dams?"
Waterfall,"Sr.: Oh, really? How 'bout blowing up dams?",Leela,Yeah ... that is fun.
Leela,Yeah ... that is fun.,Waterfall,Sr.: Let's conservate!
Waterfall,Sr.: Let's conservate!,Zoidberg,"It's been an honour to serve under you, sir!"
Zoidberg,"It's been an honour to serve under you, sir!",Leela,What's going on? Were you hiding out with these little guys?
Leela,What's going on? Were you hiding out with these little guys?,Bender,Gah! What are you doing? Get away!
Bender,Gah! What are you doing? Get away!,Leela,Aw! They love you!
Leela,Aw! They love you!,Bender,"I don't know why but when I look down at their little faces, it makes me wanna puke! In a good way!"
Bender,"I don't know why but when I look down at their little faces, it makes me wanna puke! In a good way!",Penguins,Stand still. It's our only hope.
Penguins,Stand still. It's our only hope.,Bender,That's puffin talk. Now follow me!
Bender,That's puffin talk. Now follow me!,Leela,"Stop! Stop shooting! It's me, Leela."
Leela,"Stop! Stop shooting! It's me, Leela.",Hunter,#2: Sorry.
Hunter,#2: Sorry.,Waterfall,"Sr.: Why aren't you firing randomly into those birds, little lady? Don't you wanna help 'em?"
Waterfall,"Sr.: Why aren't you firing randomly into those birds, little lady? Don't you wanna help 'em?",Leela,Not this way.
Leela,Not this way.,Waterfall,Sr.: What? Why you're not a tree-hugging kook at all!
Waterfall,Sr.: What? Why you're not a tree-hugging kook at all!,Leela,"Look, I don't know if shooting penguins will help the environment or not. But I do know the decision shouldn't be in the hands of people who just wanna kill for fun."
Leela,"Look, I don't know if shooting penguins will help the environment or not. But I do know the decision shouldn't be in the hands of people who just wanna kill for fun.",Waterfall,"Sr. On the other hand, we already made up 200 pounds of batter for penguin tempura. OK, boys, it's them or us!"
Waterfall,"Sr. On the other hand, we already made up 200 pounds of batter for penguin tempura. OK, boys, it's them or us!",Leela,No!
Leela,No!,Waterfall,Sr.: Hey! Where'd they--
Waterfall,Sr.: Hey! Where'd they--,Bender,Attack!
Bender,Attack!,Hunter,#1: Whoa!
Hunter,#1: Whoa!,Hunter,#2: Ow!
Hunter,#2: Ow!,Bender,We will fight them on the beaches! We will fight them on the glaciers!
Bender,We will fight them on the beaches! We will fight them on the glaciers!,Waterfall,Sr.: Make sure they use every part of my body!
Waterfall,Sr.: Make sure they use every part of my body!,Old,"Man Waterfall: I'll avenge your death, son!"
Old,"Man Waterfall: I'll avenge your death, son!",Leela,doing.
Leela,doing.,Bender,"Guys, it's me! Your lovable dictator! Uh-oh!"
Bender,"Guys, it's me! Your lovable dictator! Uh-oh!",Leela,"Oh, if only we had a toboggan."
Leela,"Oh, if only we had a toboggan.",Bender,Faster! Faster!
Bender,Faster! Faster!,Leela,Phew!
Leela,Phew!,Bender,"Oh, right, they can swim. It's all coming back to me now."
Bender,"Oh, right, they can swim. It's all coming back to me now.",Leela,It's Fry!
Leela,It's Fry!,Bender,Wiggles?
Bender,Wiggles?,Leela,"Well, at least it'll help reduce their population."
Leela,"Well, at least it'll help reduce their population.",Bender,"Permission to come aboard, Wiggles?"
Bender,"Permission to come aboard, Wiggles?",Fry,Granted. We can't take off without our captain.
Fry,Granted. We can't take off without our captain.,Bender,"Oh, and bring my toboggan."
Bender,"Oh, and bring my toboggan.",Fry,"So, Leela, were you able to help the penguins?"
Fry,"So, Leela, were you able to help the penguins?",Leela,"Well, sure. I mean ... not really. I mean ... nature will work itself out. It can't screw things up any worse than we did trying to fix things, right?"
Leela,"Well, sure. I mean ... not really. I mean ... nature will work itself out. It can't screw things up any worse than we did trying to fix things, right?",Fry,I 'unno.
Fry,I 'unno.,Bender,those stupid birds'll do just fine.
Bender,those stupid birds'll do just fine.,Leela,Guidance system?
Leela,Guidance system?,Bender,Online.
Bender,Online.,Leela,Autopilot?
Leela,Autopilot?,Autopilot,Present.
Autopilot,Present.,Leela,Dark matter indicator?
Leela,Dark matter indicator?,Fry,Making the noise.
Fry,Making the noise.,Leela,All systems operational. Let's rock!
Leela,All systems operational. Let's rock!,Leela,"Gentlemen, I've completed my report on the crash."
Leela,"Gentlemen, I've completed my report on the crash.",Bender,Whoa! I'm not reading that crap. Summarise it in one word.
Bender,Whoa! I'm not reading that crap. Summarise it in one word.,Leela,"This is a normal L-unit. Without it, space travel is but the fevered dream of a madman."
Leela,"This is a normal L-unit. Without it, space travel is but the fevered dream of a madman.",Fry,Yep.
Fry,Yep.,Bender,Of course.
Bender,Of course.,Zoidberg,Doy!
Zoidberg,Doy!,Hermes,It's an important unit.
Hermes,It's an important unit.,"Leela,","my friends, is the L-unit I just removed from the ship."
"Leela,","my friends, is the L-unit I just removed from the ship.",Fry,That doesn't look like an L at all. Unless you count lowercase.
Fry,That doesn't look like an L at all. Unless you count lowercase.,Bender,You know we don't!
Bender,You know we don't!,Leela-tough,steel.
Leela-tough,steel.,Bender,But instead it looks like this.
Bender,But instead it looks like this.,Fry,Who would do a thing like that?
Fry,Who would do a thing like that?,Bender,"do a thing like that? And by that, I mean this."
Bender,"do a thing like that? And by that, I mean this.",Zoidberg,"Well, gang, it looks like we have another mystery on our hands."
Zoidberg,"Well, gang, it looks like we have another mystery on our hands.",Hermes,Sweet lamprey of Santa Fe! My edge has been bent!
Hermes,Sweet lamprey of Santa Fe! My edge has been bent!,Amy,Now we'll never beat Jupiter State.
Amy,Now we'll never beat Jupiter State.,Zoidberg,"My cuddly, little pet slinky!"
Zoidberg,"My cuddly, little pet slinky!",Farnsworth,What's all the hubbub?
Farnsworth,What's all the hubbub?,Leela,My God! Even the Professor's been bent.
Leela,My God! Even the Professor's been bent.,Farnsworth,"That you for your sympathy, talking square of linoleum."
Farnsworth,"That you for your sympathy, talking square of linoleum.",Bender,That's fine.
Bender,That's fine.,Amy,"Wait a minute. Bender, what did you just do to the Professor?"
Amy,"Wait a minute. Bender, what did you just do to the Professor?",Bender,I bent him.
Bender,I bent him.,Amy,Aha!
Amy,Aha!,Hermes,Bender!
Hermes,Bender!,Bender,"Oh, I see. A bunch of stuff gets bent so it must be the robot designed for bending."
Bender,"Oh, I see. A bunch of stuff gets bent so it must be the robot designed for bending.",Hermes,I know how to settle this: We'll check last night's surveillance tapes.
Hermes,I know how to settle this: We'll check last night's surveillance tapes.,Fry,Huh?
Fry,Huh?,Amy,What tapes?
Amy,What tapes?,Leela,Surveillance?
Leela,Surveillance?,Zoidberg,You've seen me naked?
Zoidberg,You've seen me naked?,Bender,"See? Nothing. Told you, losers."
Bender,"See? Nothing. Told you, losers.",Fry,Wait! There on the screen. It's that guy you are.
Fry,Wait! There on the screen. It's that guy you are.,Bender,I'm sleepwalking.
Bender,I'm sleepwalking.,Farnsworth,Dear God! We've got robots on the ceiling.
Farnsworth,Dear God! We've got robots on the ceiling.,Bender,"This is quite a shock. On the other hand, it's not surprising in the least. After all, I've been bending since the day I was built."
Bender,"This is quite a shock. On the other hand, it's not surprising in the least. After all, I've been bending since the day I was built.",Bender,"Hooray! I graduated! Time to bend around Europe for a few months, then get a job bending."
Bender,"Hooray! I graduated! Time to bend around Europe for a few months, then get a job bending.",Amy,You remember your own birth?
Amy,You remember your own birth?,Bender,Sure. It was only four years ago.
Bender,Sure. It was only four years ago.,Fry,You're only four years old?
Fry,You're only four years old?,Bender,"Precocious little scamp, ain't I?"
Bender,"Precocious little scamp, ain't I?",Leela,Hmm. Bender must have a pent-up need to bend that's not being satisfied by his bend-free lifestyle.
Leela,Hmm. Bender must have a pent-up need to bend that's not being satisfied by his bend-free lifestyle.,Farnsworth,Go satisfy your bend lust and don't you come back to work until you do.
Farnsworth,Go satisfy your bend lust and don't you come back to work until you do.,Robots,"No more bending, no more work. Give us a raise, you big fat jerk."
Robots,"No more bending, no more work. Give us a raise, you big fat jerk.",Sal,Nevers!
Sal,Nevers!,Joey,Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.
Joey,Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.,Donbot,"As the duly-elected mobsters of this union, it's our duty to support the struggle of these proud, lazy slobs."
Donbot,"As the duly-elected mobsters of this union, it's our duty to support the struggle of these proud, lazy slobs.",Joey,"Yeah, but what if management remains intragnizent?"
Joey,"Yeah, but what if management remains intragnizent?",Donbot,"From the context it is clear what you mean. In that case, Clamps may have a little surprise for them."
Donbot,"From the context it is clear what you mean. In that case, Clamps may have a little surprise for them.",Clamps,Right?
Clamps,Right?,Bender,"Aw, no! A strike? Now I'll never get to bend anything. Oh, woe is Bender."
Bender,"Aw, no! A strike? Now I'll never get to bend anything. Oh, woe is Bender.",Robot,"#1: Hang tough, brother. Management refused our demand to switch casual Friday to Monday."
Robot,"#1: Hang tough, brother. Management refused our demand to switch casual Friday to Monday.",Robot,#2: And now they're hiring scabs at ten-times the normal wage.
Robot,#2: And now they're hiring scabs at ten-times the normal wage.,Bender,I'll give those jerks what for!
Bender,I'll give those jerks what for!,Sal,"Welcomes aboard, scab."
Sal,"Welcomes aboard, scab.",Bender,Great to be here.
Bender,Great to be here.,Sal,This here's our scab foreman.
Sal,This here's our scab foreman.,Bender,Flexo?
Bender,Flexo?,Flexo,Bender?
Flexo,Bender?,Bender,"Hey, sorry you got sent to that South American Turkish prison instead of me on account of mistaken identity."
Bender,"Hey, sorry you got sent to that South American Turkish prison instead of me on account of mistaken identity.",Flexo,"Nah, you're alright. Good to see you, buddy!"
Flexo,"Nah, you're alright. Good to see you, buddy!",Sal,"And here's another scab what also works here, Angle-ine."
Sal,"And here's another scab what also works here, Angle-ine.",Bender,Hello.
Bender,Hello.,Sal,"Hey, yous guyses wanna move that things?"
Sal,"Hey, yous guyses wanna move that things?",Bender,Hello!
Bender,Hello!,Robots,"Give us a raise, you big fat jerk."
Robots,"Give us a raise, you big fat jerk.",Sal,Nevers!
Sal,Nevers!,Bender,"Um, hi, Angle-ine. Whatcha up to?"
Bender,"Um, hi, Angle-ine. Whatcha up to?",Angle-ine,Making hangers. Guidance counsellor said I had a knack for it.
Angle-ine,Making hangers. Guidance counsellor said I had a knack for it.,Bender,"That's cool, that's cool. So, um, uh, I was wondering if, y'know, it's cool if not, but, what are you doing after work?"
Bender,"That's cool, that's cool. So, um, uh, I was wondering if, y'know, it's cool if not, but, what are you doing after work?",Angle-ine,What I always do. Jack squat.
Angle-ine,What I always do. Jack squat.,Bender,"Man, we have a lot in common, huh?"
Bender,"Man, we have a lot in common, huh?",Angle-ine,Well we are made of virtually identical components.
Angle-ine,Well we are made of virtually identical components.,Bender,Are you sure? Maybe I should sneak a peek at your access panel.
Bender,Are you sure? Maybe I should sneak a peek at your access panel.,Angle-ine,And that's just the way I like it.
Angle-ine,And that's just the way I like it.,Hermes,Haile H. Selassie!
Hermes,Haile H. Selassie!,Zoidberg,"There, little friend. Good as new."
Zoidberg,"There, little friend. Good as new.",Farnsworth,"Those delightful birds with their chirp, chirp, chirp and their tweet, tweet, splat."
Farnsworth,"Those delightful birds with their chirp, chirp, chirp and their tweet, tweet, splat.",Fry,"Professor, I've never seen you so cheerful. What the hell's wrong with you?"
Fry,"Professor, I've never seen you so cheerful. What the hell's wrong with you?",Farnsworth,"Hmm. I'm not quite sure. Perhaps seeing things from a new perspective has reminded me of life's beauty. Or perhaps my new posture is causing blood to pool in the back of my brain, resulting in a mild delirium. Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose."
Farnsworth,"Hmm. I'm not quite sure. Perhaps seeing things from a new perspective has reminded me of life's beauty. Or perhaps my new posture is causing blood to pool in the back of my brain, resulting in a mild delirium. Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose.",Fry,I wish! It's a nickel.
Fry,I wish! It's a nickel.,Bender,I bet watching me bend girders like this turns your legs all rubbery.
Bender,I bet watching me bend girders like this turns your legs all rubbery.,Angle-ine,"And anyway, I am just as strong as you are, Mac."
Angle-ine,"And anyway, I am just as strong as you are, Mac.",Bender,"Here, let me help you."
Bender,"Here, let me help you.",Farnsworth,My new bent outlook has completely re-energised me. I'm even dating a young Brazilian retired actress.
Farnsworth,My new bent outlook has completely re-energised me. I'm even dating a young Brazilian retired actress.,Fry,Alright!
Fry,Alright!,Farnsworth,robbing the grave.
Farnsworth,robbing the grave.,Bender,"Howdy, doodies. What's new?"
Bender,"Howdy, doodies. What's new?",Farnsworth,"I was just regaling your former co-workers with a tale of bedroom antics, the likes of which--"
Farnsworth,"I was just regaling your former co-workers with a tale of bedroom antics, the likes of which--",Bender-related,news. I'm in love and I'm taking all my friends out to celebrate.
Bender-related,news. I'm in love and I'm taking all my friends out to celebrate.,Amy,Let's get liquored up!
Amy,Let's get liquored up!,Elzar,"try the pasta. It's got a real nice profit margin. Bam! So, special occasion tonight?"
Elzar,"try the pasta. It's got a real nice profit margin. Bam! So, special occasion tonight?",Bender,"Oh, Elzar, you'll never guess what's happened?"
Bender,"Oh, Elzar, you'll never guess what's happened?",Elzar,Bam?
Elzar,Bam?,Bender,I met the most dynamite ladybot.
Bender,I met the most dynamite ladybot.,Elzar,"Hey, that's terrific. To celebrate, I'm gonna stick seven copies of my latest cookbook on your bill."
Elzar,"Hey, that's terrific. To celebrate, I'm gonna stick seven copies of my latest cookbook on your bill.",Bender,"Bless you, sir."
Bender,"Bless you, sir.",Farnsworth,"So, Bender, tell us about this new girlfriend of yours."
Farnsworth,"So, Bender, tell us about this new girlfriend of yours.",Bender,"To Angle-ine, she's got it all. Looks, charm and the love of a fabulous bending robot."
Bender,"To Angle-ine, she's got it all. Looks, charm and the love of a fabulous bending robot.",Fry,She sure does.
Fry,She sure does.,Bender,Flexo!
Bender,Flexo!,Elzar,"Careful, that's a week old!"
Elzar,"Careful, that's a week old!",Bender,"You degenerate hussy! I'm disappointed in you too, Angle-ine."
Bender,"You degenerate hussy! I'm disappointed in you too, Angle-ine.",Angle-ine,"Bender, it's-it's not what you think."
Angle-ine,"Bender, it's-it's not what you think.",Bender,than I think.
Bender,than I think.,Angle-ine,"Now, look, there is no reason to be upset. Flexo and I are divorced."
Angle-ine,"Now, look, there is no reason to be upset. Flexo and I are divorced.",Bender,Div-- Huh?
Bender,Div-- Huh?,Flexo,We're just havin' dinner 'cause we wanna stay friends.
Flexo,We're just havin' dinner 'cause we wanna stay friends.,Bender,"Uh, I knew that. What I'm actually outraged by is your choice of wine. Really, it's the steward's fault."
Bender,"Uh, I knew that. What I'm actually outraged by is your choice of wine. Really, it's the steward's fault.",Steward,"Excellent choice, sir."
Steward,"Excellent choice, sir.",Bender,"That Flexo, I'm knockin' him right on his butt. I can't believe this."
Bender,"That Flexo, I'm knockin' him right on his butt. I can't believe this.",Farnsworth,"Obsessing won't help, Bender. Take a lean back and enjoy life."
Farnsworth,"Obsessing won't help, Bender. Take a lean back and enjoy life.",Bender,I can't. My Fembot may be in love with another Manbot.
Bender,I can't. My Fembot may be in love with another Manbot.,Leela,Well talk to her. Tell her about your feelings in an open an honest way.
Leela,Well talk to her. Tell her about your feelings in an open an honest way.,Fry,Yeah. Either that or be a man.
Fry,Yeah. Either that or be a man.,Bender,"OK, I've constructed an elaborate lie: I'll call Angle-ine while pretending to be Flexo, arrange a date, show up disguised as him and catch her two-timing me with myself."
Bender,"OK, I've constructed an elaborate lie: I'll call Angle-ine while pretending to be Flexo, arrange a date, show up disguised as him and catch her two-timing me with myself.",Fry,That's thinkin' like a man.
Fry,That's thinkin' like a man.,Bender,Hello? This is Flexo.
Bender,Hello? This is Flexo.,Bender,Now we'll see who loves whom.
Bender,Now we'll see who loves whom.,Bender,"Hey, hot stuff."
Bender,"Hey, hot stuff.",Angle-ine,So since when do you go to bars on work nights? It's not like you at all.
Angle-ine,So since when do you go to bars on work nights? It's not like you at all.,Bender,"Nonsense. It's exactly like me. Flexo: The fun-loving love machine Fembots love to love. Hey, barkeep, I'll have a Fuzzy Navel and she'll have the girliest drink in the house."
Bender,"Nonsense. It's exactly like me. Flexo: The fun-loving love machine Fembots love to love. Hey, barkeep, I'll have a Fuzzy Navel and she'll have the girliest drink in the house.",Bartender-bot,Two Fuzzy Navel's comin' up.
Bartender-bot,Two Fuzzy Navel's comin' up.,Bender,I hope they can make change for a fortune.
Bender,I hope they can make change for a fortune.,Joey,"Yo. Get an eye-load of that filthy scab with the beard flashing his filthy scab money. It's an insult to you, boss."
Joey,"Yo. Get an eye-load of that filthy scab with the beard flashing his filthy scab money. It's an insult to you, boss.",Donbot,Yeah. That cash oughta be slushin' my fund and kicksing my back.
Donbot,Yeah. That cash oughta be slushin' my fund and kicksing my back.,Clamps,I'm greasing up my whoozits!
Clamps,I'm greasing up my whoozits!,Donbot,"Whoa, whoa, Clamps, not yet. Let's just keep an eye on him and see if he does it a couple more times."
Donbot,"Whoa, whoa, Clamps, not yet. Let's just keep an eye on him and see if he does it a couple more times.",Bender,You're lookin' good to Flexo tonight.
Bender,You're lookin' good to Flexo tonight.,Angle-ine,Quit makin' with the googly eyes. You know that I'm in love with Bender.
Angle-ine,Quit makin' with the googly eyes. You know that I'm in love with Bender.,Bender,Bender? That walking wuss factory?
Bender,Bender? That walking wuss factory?,Angle-ine,"Well he may be a walking factory but believe me he is no wuss. Now, look, you and me are through. I told you that when I divorced you."
Angle-ine,"Well he may be a walking factory but believe me he is no wuss. Now, look, you and me are through. I told you that when I divorced you.",Bender,"But going through a divorce together, you can't tell me that didn't bring us closer. Care to dance?"
Bender,"But going through a divorce together, you can't tell me that didn't bring us closer. Care to dance?",Angle-ine,You know I love dancing but you always hated it.
Angle-ine,You know I love dancing but you always hated it.,Bender,"Hey, scratchmo. How 'bout dropping me and the lady some rump-rattling beats?"
Bender,"Hey, scratchmo. How 'bout dropping me and the lady some rump-rattling beats?",Donbot,I had hoped that by the second time he flashed his cash my rage would have subsided. Sadly that has not happened.
Donbot,I had hoped that by the second time he flashed his cash my rage would have subsided. Sadly that has not happened.,Angle-ine,"You used to be so inflexible, Flexo. You have really loosened up!"
Angle-ine,"You used to be so inflexible, Flexo. You have really loosened up!",Bender,I recently upgraded my funk card. C'mon!
Bender,I recently upgraded my funk card. C'mon!,Angle-ine,Alright!
Angle-ine,Alright!,Bender,Ew!
Bender,Ew!,Angle-ine,Flexo? What-What's going on?
Angle-ine,Flexo? What-What's going on?,Bender,Um...
Bender,Um...,Angle-ine,Flexo!
Angle-ine,Flexo!,Bender,"So the moral of the story is: If you want it to stay sunk, tie a weight to it!"
Bender,"So the moral of the story is: If you want it to stay sunk, tie a weight to it!",Angle-ine,"You always were a kick in the teeth, man."
Angle-ine,"You always were a kick in the teeth, man.",Bender,"Aw, shucks, thunder-buns! You make me feel like a million volts."
Bender,"Aw, shucks, thunder-buns! You make me feel like a million volts.",Angle-ine,"Flexo, Flexo, Flexo. I'm starting to remember why I fell for you in the first place."
Angle-ine,"Flexo, Flexo, Flexo. I'm starting to remember why I fell for you in the first place.",Bender,"So, she's falling for Flexo, eh? I'd better seduce her a little more, just to be sure."
Bender,"So, she's falling for Flexo, eh? I'd better seduce her a little more, just to be sure.",Angle-ine,"Well, it's late. I should get home to my trailer."
Angle-ine,"Well, it's late. I should get home to my trailer.",Bender,Tiparillo?
Bender,Tiparillo?,Bender,"Here you are, my lad. Bring the lady's car around in the finest way possible."
Bender,"Here you are, my lad. Bring the lady's car around in the finest way possible.",Joey,He's flashin' his cash loaf again.
Joey,He's flashin' his cash loaf again.,Donbot,How many times is that? Two or three?
Donbot,How many times is that? Two or three?,Clamps,Three.
Clamps,Three.,Donbot,Alright. That's the necessary number of times. That scab's gonna have a little on-the-job accident.
Donbot,Alright. That's the necessary number of times. That scab's gonna have a little on-the-job accident.,Joey,"With all due respect, Donbot, I don't think we should rely on an accident happening. Let's kill him ourselves."
Joey,"With all due respect, Donbot, I don't think we should rely on an accident happening. Let's kill him ourselves.",Bender,place.
Bender,place.,Angle-ine,What?
Angle-ine,What?,Bender,But?
Bender,But?,Angle-ine,Huh? Bender! You tricked me.
Angle-ine,Huh? Bender! You tricked me.,Bender,to be him.
Bender,to be him.,Angle-ine,Well maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you're pretending to be.
Angle-ine,Well maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you're pretending to be.,Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Angle-ine,Nooo!
Angle-ine,Nooo!,Flexo,"Nah, I'm joshing you. That was quite annoying."
Flexo,"Nah, I'm joshing you. That was quite annoying.",Bender,You call yourself divorced? You're making a mockery of one of our oldest institutions.
Bender,You call yourself divorced? You're making a mockery of one of our oldest institutions.,Flexo,What?
Flexo,What?,Clamps,"Alright, boss, give the word and I'll drop this unbendable girder. Clamp, clamp, ka-bamp!"
Clamps,"Alright, boss, give the word and I'll drop this unbendable girder. Clamp, clamp, ka-bamp!",Donbot,"Remember, only kill the one with the beard. That other filthy scab we got nothing against."
Donbot,"Remember, only kill the one with the beard. That other filthy scab we got nothing against.",Flexo,That's low!
Flexo,That's low!,Angle-ine,Please stop! I'm not worth it!
Angle-ine,Please stop! I'm not worth it!,Bender,Probably not. But I love you and I'm gonna kick his ass till I win you back.
Bender,Probably not. But I love you and I'm gonna kick his ass till I win you back.,Donbot,"OK, Clamps. Now!"
Donbot,"OK, Clamps. Now!",Clamps,"Ooh, that's gotta clamp!"
Clamps,"Ooh, that's gotta clamp!",Angle-ine,Flexo? Are you OK?
Angle-ine,Flexo? Are you OK?,Flexo,"Nah, I'm yankin' your chain, I'm dying."
Flexo,"Nah, I'm yankin' your chain, I'm dying.",Angle-ine,You can't die. Tonight Bender showed me that I love you.
Angle-ine,You can't die. Tonight Bender showed me that I love you.,Bender,love you.
Bender,love you.,Angle-ine,I know and I care for you too. But I could never love anyone as much as you made me realise I love Flexo.
Angle-ine,I know and I care for you too. But I could never love anyone as much as you made me realise I love Flexo.,Bender,"I love you so much, Angle-ine, I want you to be happy no matter what."
Bender,"I love you so much, Angle-ine, I want you to be happy no matter what.",Angle-ine,"What, what are you saying?"
Angle-ine,"What, what are you saying?",Bender,I'm saying I've got an unbendable girder to bend.
Bender,I'm saying I've got an unbendable girder to bend.,Angle-ine,You can't bend that girder. It's unbendable!
Angle-ine,You can't bend that girder. It's unbendable!,Bender,"Well I don't know anything about lifting, so that just leaves us the one option."
Bender,"Well I don't know anything about lifting, so that just leaves us the one option.",Flexo,"Thanks, buddy. Another year under that and I'd have been a goner."
Flexo,"Thanks, buddy. Another year under that and I'd have been a goner.",Angle-ine,"I'll always remember this, Bender."
Angle-ine,"I'll always remember this, Bender.",Bender,Jerk.
Bender,Jerk.,Leela,"So Flexo and Angle-ine had sex right there on the factory floor? Well, at least you got bending out of your system."
Leela,"So Flexo and Angle-ine had sex right there on the factory floor? Well, at least you got bending out of your system.",Bender,"Yes. I won't be up to bending again for a long, long time."
Bender,"Yes. I won't be up to bending again for a long, long time.",Farnsworth,Perhaps it's your outlook that needs a good bend. A 90-degree bend to a place where happiness is perpendicular to wonderment.
Farnsworth,Perhaps it's your outlook that needs a good bend. A 90-degree bend to a place where happiness is perpendicular to wonderment.,Fry,"Professor, we're all sick of your upbeat attitude."
Fry,"Professor, we're all sick of your upbeat attitude.",Amy,I'll say.
Amy,I'll say.,Zoidberg,Believe it.
Zoidberg,Believe it.,You,"gotta bend away all your trouble and your strife,"
You,"gotta bend away all your trouble and your strife,",Leela,"Bender, you've gotta help us."
Leela,"Bender, you've gotta help us.",Bender,I try to get out but they keep pulling me back in.
Bender,I try to get out but they keep pulling me back in.,Wangle,"a new dangle on life,"
Wangle,"a new dangle on life,",Amy,"No, Bender! The other way."
Amy,"No, Bender! The other way.",Bender,I like him better this way.
Bender,I like him better this way.,Farnsworth,I'm sad now.
Farnsworth,I'm sad now.,Leela,"Eh, it's fine."
Leela,"Eh, it's fine.",Amy,Is Nibbler stoked for the big pet show?
Amy,Is Nibbler stoked for the big pet show?,Leela,You are so adorable! Who wants a ham?
Leela,You are so adorable! Who wants a ham?,Farnsworth,Zooka barooka! First prize is $500 and a year's supply of dog food!
Farnsworth,Zooka barooka! First prize is $500 and a year's supply of dog food!,Bender,"$500, you say?"
Bender,"$500, you say?",Zoidberg,"Dog food, you say?"
Zoidberg,"Dog food, you say?",Fry,... three sheep.
Fry,... three sheep.,Leela,"Your turn, Nibbler, honey. Herd those sheep!"
Leela,"Your turn, Nibbler, honey. Herd those sheep!",Amy,"Come on, Nibbler!"
Amy,"Come on, Nibbler!",Bender,"Ma'am, I have a late entry: My hard-shelled wooping terrier, Mr. Zoidberg."
Bender,"Ma'am, I have a late entry: My hard-shelled wooping terrier, Mr. Zoidberg.",Bender,Faster! Faster.
Bender,Faster! Faster.,Zoidberg,Ow!
Zoidberg,Ow!,Bender,Suck in that gut! You wanna be spayed?
Bender,Suck in that gut! You wanna be spayed?,Bender,"Silence, you cur! Puff out that brisket!"
Bender,"Silence, you cur! Puff out that brisket!",Bender,I should be weeping! I'm not weeping!
Bender,I should be weeping! I'm not weeping!,Fry,I love these things!
Fry,I love these things!,Leela,"He might be a little hungry. Shake, boy. Usually he's had more ham by now. Shake!"
Leela,"He might be a little hungry. Shake, boy. Usually he's had more ham by now. Shake!",Judge,"#1 from an Afghan, goes to Bender and his wooping terrier."
Judge,"#1 from an Afghan, goes to Bender and his wooping terrier.",Bender,You didn't stick your landing!
Bender,You didn't stick your landing!,Zoidberg,"Forgive me, my friend."
Zoidberg,"Forgive me, my friend.",Bender,Never!
Bender,Never!,Judge,"#1: And before we announce the winner we have a special award for a first-time contestant: Ms. Leela and her mystery pet, Nibbler!"
Judge,"#1: And before we announce the winner we have a special award for a first-time contestant: Ms. Leela and her mystery pet, Nibbler!",Leela,Me? Award? Him? Me? Good?
Leela,Me? Award? Him? Me? Good?,Judge,#1 All glory to the Hypno-Toad.
Judge,#1 All glory to the Hypno-Toad.,Leela,dumb.
Leela,dumb.,Fry,"Don't listen to them, Leela. People said I was dumb, but I proved them."
Fry,"Don't listen to them, Leela. People said I was dumb, but I proved them.",Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! We were supposed to make a delivery to the planet Tweenis 12 but it's been completely destroyed."
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! We were supposed to make a delivery to the planet Tweenis 12 but it's been completely destroyed.",Leela,Why is that good news?
Leela,Why is that good news?,Farnsworth,They paid in advance.
Farnsworth,They paid in advance.,Bender,Excuse me.
Bender,Excuse me.,Hermes,"First, the civilisation of Space Rome collapsed, then Don Martin 3 went kaflooie and now Tweenis 12."
Hermes,"First, the civilisation of Space Rome collapsed, then Don Martin 3 went kaflooie and now Tweenis 12.",Fry,Looks like this planet is next in line.
Fry,Looks like this planet is next in line.,Leela,The planet we live on.
Leela,The planet we live on.,Fry,I'd hate to be those guys.
Fry,I'd hate to be those guys.,Hermes,What's got into him? He's twitching like Zoidberg when someone mentions the word food.
Hermes,What's got into him? He's twitching like Zoidberg when someone mentions the word food.,Zoidberg,"What, now?"
Zoidberg,"What, now?",Leela,"No! Nibbler, come back!"
Leela,"No! Nibbler, come back!",Leela,"Uh, Nibbler? Could you scooch the seat up just a little bit?"
Leela,"Uh, Nibbler? Could you scooch the seat up just a little bit?",Fry,Leela back yet?
Fry,Leela back yet?,Bender,"Fry, help me! My heart stopped beating!"
Bender,"Fry, help me! My heart stopped beating!",Fry,You don't have a heart; you're a robot.
Fry,You don't have a heart; you're a robot.,Bender,"Oh, Fry! My skin's all dry and clanky."
Bender,"Oh, Fry! My skin's all dry and clanky.",Fry,"Well, yeah. Robots are made of metal."
Fry,"Well, yeah. Robots are made of metal.",Bender,a robot?
Bender,a robot?,Fry,"Bender, if this is some kind of scam, I don't get it. You already have my power of attorney."
Fry,"Bender, if this is some kind of scam, I don't get it. You already have my power of attorney.",Bender,My skin!
Bender,My skin!,Farnsworth,I'm a genius. Ow. Ow.
Farnsworth,I'm a genius. Ow. Ow.,Fry,"Dr. Zoidberg, why is everyone acting so weird?"
Fry,"Dr. Zoidberg, why is everyone acting so weird?",Zoidberg,Zoidy want go outside!
Zoidberg,Zoidy want go outside!,Fry,I just let you back in!
Fry,I just let you back in!,Leela,So every religion is wrong!
Leela,So every religion is wrong!,Linda,I'm sending in more trains!
Linda,I'm sending in more trains!,Woman,Go!
Woman,Go!,Man,Wait for me! Wait for me!
Man,Wait for me! Wait for me!,Morbo,Morbo can't understand his TelePrompTer. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.
Morbo,Morbo can't understand his TelePrompTer. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.,Linda,It's a T. It goes tuh.
Linda,It's a T. It goes tuh.,Morbo,"Hello, little man. I will destroy you!"
Morbo,"Hello, little man. I will destroy you!",Fry,"Man, even the news monster is acting strange. What are we gonna do?"
Fry,"Man, even the news monster is acting strange. What are we gonna do?",Farnsworth,"Duh, I know! Let's play the lottery!"
Farnsworth,"Duh, I know! Let's play the lottery!",Amy,No. Let's buy Internet stock!
Amy,No. Let's buy Internet stock!,Zoidberg,On margin! Zoidy wanna buy on margin!
Zoidberg,On margin! Zoidy wanna buy on margin!,Hermes,Look at me! I'm invisible!
Hermes,Look at me! I'm invisible!,Fry,Wait a minute! I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots!
Fry,Wait a minute! I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots!,Bender,"Hey, let's all join the Reform Party!"
Bender,"Hey, let's all join the Reform Party!",Hermes,"Oh, yeah!"
Hermes,"Oh, yeah!",Ken,"Welcome back, Lord Nibbler, Ambassador to Earth, homeworld of the pizza bagel."
Ken,"Welcome back, Lord Nibbler, Ambassador to Earth, homeworld of the pizza bagel.",Nibbler,Thank you. I bear many receipts for reimbursement.
Nibbler,Thank you. I bear many receipts for reimbursement.,Fiona,"The four welcomes of friendship to you as well, Leela. We shall manipulate your mind so we appear to be speaking your language. Do not be afraid, my child."
Fiona,"The four welcomes of friendship to you as well, Leela. We shall manipulate your mind so we appear to be speaking your language. Do not be afraid, my child.",Leela,I'm not afraid.
Leela,I'm not afraid.,Fiona,"Uh, good. Good."
Fiona,"Uh, good. Good.",Leela,"So, your real name is Lord Nibbler? That's a coincidence."
Leela,"So, your real name is Lord Nibbler? That's a coincidence.",Nibbler,"That name is for your sake. In the time it would take to pronounce one letter of my true name, a trillion cosmoses would flair into existence and sink into eternal night."
Nibbler,"That name is for your sake. In the time it would take to pronounce one letter of my true name, a trillion cosmoses would flair into existence and sink into eternal night.",Leela,"Oh, you're all so cute!"
Leela,"Oh, you're all so cute!",Ken,"When the universe was forged in the crucible of the Big Bang, our mighty race was already 17 years old."
Ken,"When the universe was forged in the crucible of the Big Bang, our mighty race was already 17 years old.",Leela,Aww!
Leela,Aww!,Ken,"Ever since, we have waged unceasing war against these dreadful--"
Ken,"Ever since, we have waged unceasing war against these dreadful--",Nibblonian,Chef: Lunch is ready.
Nibblonian,Chef: Lunch is ready.,Ken,Then let the feast of a thousand hams begin.
Ken,Then let the feast of a thousand hams begin.,Leela,"So why are these Brain Spawn attacking Earth, Nibbler?"
Leela,"So why are these Brain Spawn attacking Earth, Nibbler?",Nibbler,The Brain Spawn hate all consciousness. The thoughts of others screech at them like the forced laughs of a billion art house movie patrons.
Nibbler,The Brain Spawn hate all consciousness. The thoughts of others screech at them like the forced laughs of a billion art house movie patrons.,Ken,"Thus, they travel from world to world making everyone stupid in order to wipe out all thought in the universe."
Ken,"Thus, they travel from world to world making everyone stupid in order to wipe out all thought in the universe.",Leela,Wipe out all thought? My God! They're like flying televisions.
Leela,Wipe out all thought? My God! They're like flying televisions.,Fiona,"And even we are powerless to stop them, fearsome though we are."
Fiona,"And even we are powerless to stop them, fearsome though we are.",Nibbler,"The fate of your world, perhaps all worlds, rests in his special mind."
Nibbler,"The fate of your world, perhaps all worlds, rests in his special mind.",Leela,"Now, when you say special..."
Leela,"Now, when you say special...",Fry,"Attention, New New Yorkers. Stop acting so stupid!"
Fry,"Attention, New New Yorkers. Stop acting so stupid!",Ken,"Nibblonian fleet holding at perimeter of moron zone, formerly known as Earth."
Ken,"Nibblonian fleet holding at perimeter of moron zone, formerly known as Earth.",Leela,Why would Fry be immune to the flying brains? Because he doesn't shower?
Leela,Why would Fry be immune to the flying brains? Because he doesn't shower?,Fiona,"The Brain Spawn suppress intelligence by attacking the delta brain wave. Every animal and robot in the universe generates this wave, as do certain trees."
Fiona,"The Brain Spawn suppress intelligence by attacking the delta brain wave. Every animal and robot in the universe generates this wave, as do certain trees.",Nibbler,"Fry, however, does not."
Nibbler,"Fry, however, does not.",Fiona,brain waves into a working mind.
Fiona,brain waves into a working mind.,Leela,Like a prom dress made from carpet remnants.
Leela,Like a prom dress made from carpet remnants.,Nibbler,"Yes, like your prom dress."
Nibbler,"Yes, like your prom dress.",Ken,"The Brain Spawn are commanded by a giant, evil brain with a gooey centre of pure hate."
Ken,"The Brain Spawn are commanded by a giant, evil brain with a gooey centre of pure hate.",Fiona,will do the rest.
Fiona,will do the rest.,Leela,You can count on me.
Leela,You can count on me.,Fiona,"No, we can't. Once on Earth, you will be too stupid to remember the message."
Fiona,"No, we can't. Once on Earth, you will be too stupid to remember the message.",Nibbler,That's why we wrote it down for you.
Nibbler,That's why we wrote it down for you.,Ken,We've also prepared a bag lunch and some mittens.
Ken,We've also prepared a bag lunch and some mittens.,Fry,Let's review. Who was our first president?
Fry,Let's review. Who was our first president?,Amy,Um.
Amy,Um.,Bender,A pickle jar?
Bender,A pickle jar?,Washington,Thomas Jefferson?
Washington,Thomas Jefferson?,Fry,Leela! I've been so worried. Are you a bonehead?
Fry,Leela! I've been so worried. Are you a bonehead?,Leela,I ... have to tell ... must ... important ... something--
Leela,I ... have to tell ... must ... important ... something--,Fry,"Whoa, whoa! Slow down. You're going a mile a minute."
Fry,"Whoa, whoa! Slow down. You're going a mile a minute.",Leela,This! You for this!
Leela,This! You for this!,Fry,Thanks!
Fry,Thanks!,Leela,Ow! Fire hot.
Leela,Ow! Fire hot.,Farnsworth,Fire indeed hot!
Farnsworth,Fire indeed hot!,Arthur,Oh! Chester A. Arthur fall down.
Arthur,Oh! Chester A. Arthur fall down.,Leela,Brain. Brain make people dumb.
Leela,Brain. Brain make people dumb.,Leela,You go fight biggest brain of all.
Leela,You go fight biggest brain of all.,Fry,Even bigger than those? Holy nuts! Where is it?
Fry,Even bigger than those? Holy nuts! Where is it?,Leela,I 'unno!
Leela,I 'unno!,Big,Brain What do you want?
Big,Brain What do you want?,Fry,I'm here to kick your ass.
Fry,I'm here to kick your ass.,Big,Brain Odd. My stupefaction field is having no effect on your ability to think.
Big,Brain Odd. My stupefaction field is having no effect on your ability to think.,Fry,Thinking ... thinking...
Fry,Thinking ... thinking...,Big,Brain: Oh! Stop that!
Big,Brain: Oh! Stop that!,Fry,"Aha! Prepare to be thought at. Leela, give me a topic."
Fry,"Aha! Prepare to be thought at. Leela, give me a topic.",Leela,Duh...
Leela,Duh...,Big,Brain: No! It's unbearable!
Big,Brain: No! It's unbearable!,Fiona,Nibblonians to Nibble stations. Prepare cuddle bug for deployment in 40 nibblets.
Fiona,Nibblonians to Nibble stations. Prepare cuddle bug for deployment in 40 nibblets.,Nibbler,Sometimes I fear we are cute.
Nibbler,Sometimes I fear we are cute.,Fiona,"Oh, niggle-snoosh!"
Fiona,"Oh, niggle-snoosh!",Fry,Take that! And that! This sentence I don't understand but take this one!
Fry,Take that! And that! This sentence I don't understand but take this one!,Big,Brain Each book in this room is a gateway to a mental realm and I shall take you there and imprison you forever.
Big,Brain Each book in this room is a gateway to a mental realm and I shall take you there and imprison you forever.,Leela,Icky!
Leela,Icky!,Fry,Where are we?
Fry,Where are we?,Ahab,A gold doubloon to the man who first spies the white whale.
Ahab,A gold doubloon to the man who first spies the white whale.,Queequeg,Big whale over there.
Queequeg,Big whale over there.,Ahab,Arr! I saw it first!
Ahab,Arr! I saw it first!,Queequeg,"Wait! That no white whale. It grey, think-y whale!"
Queequeg,"Wait! That no white whale. It grey, think-y whale!",Fry,"Queequeg, let go of me! I have to kill it!"
Fry,"Queequeg, let go of me! I have to kill it!",Big,"Brain: Farewell! You will all be trapped in this dense, symbolist tome forever!"
Big,"Brain: Farewell! You will all be trapped in this dense, symbolist tome forever!",Fry,Follow him! It's our only way out!
Fry,Follow him! It's our only way out!,Fry,"Excuse me, have you seen a giant brain?"
Fry,"Excuse me, have you seen a giant brain?",Tom,Sawyer: Yep. I let him help me whitewash Aunt Polly's fence.
Tom,Sawyer: Yep. I let him help me whitewash Aunt Polly's fence.,Big,"Brain: Tom Sawyer, you tricked me. This is less fun than previously indicated. Let this corny slice of Americana be your tomb for all eternity."
Big,"Brain: Tom Sawyer, you tricked me. This is less fun than previously indicated. Let this corny slice of Americana be your tomb for all eternity.",Tom,"Sawyer: Please, no!"
Tom,"Sawyer: Please, no!",Fry,Come on!
Fry,Come on!,Woman,"Mr. Fry, Mama tells us you're quite the oddity; a bachelor at your age."
Woman,"Mr. Fry, Mama tells us you're quite the oddity; a bachelor at your age.",Fry,an oddity? Wait'll you see--
Fry,an oddity? Wait'll you see--,Butler,"Presenting the most eligible landowner in all Hertfordshire, Mr. Brainly."
Butler,"Presenting the most eligible landowner in all Hertfordshire, Mr. Brainly.",Big,Brain: I'm a gigantic brain!
Big,Brain: I'm a gigantic brain!,Man,#1: I say!
Man,#1: I say!,Man,#2: Most un-gentleman-like!
Man,#2: Most un-gentleman-like!,Woman,"Mr. Brainly, what news have you of the London season?"
Woman,"Mr. Brainly, what news have you of the London season?",Big,Brain: Well--
Big,Brain: Well--,Fry,"Hey, Brain-y! Think fast!"
Fry,"Hey, Brain-y! Think fast!",Big,Brain: I always think fast.
Big,Brain: I always think fast.,Ahab,The whale! He be white now!
Ahab,The whale! He be white now!,Fry,"Leela, I've got an idea. Stay here with Queequeg."
Fry,"Leela, I've got an idea. Stay here with Queequeg.",Leela,Is there Mrs. Queequeg?
Leela,Is there Mrs. Queequeg?,Fry,"Alright, Brain. Get ready for some electroshock treatment!"
Fry,"Alright, Brain. Get ready for some electroshock treatment!",Leela,Nooo!
Leela,Nooo!,Fry,Now he's trapped in a book I wrote; a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors.
Fry,Now he's trapped in a book I wrote; a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors.,Big,Brain!
Big,Brain!,Nibbler,The Big Brain is defeated. Let what must be done be done.
Nibbler,The Big Brain is defeated. Let what must be done be done.,Leela,Me ... feel ... a bit better in cognitive faculties.
Leela,Me ... feel ... a bit better in cognitive faculties.,Fry,And it's all thanks to the books at my local library.
Fry,And it's all thanks to the books at my local library.,Nibbler,"And so life returned to normal, or as normal as it gets on this primitive dirtball inhabited by psychotic apes."
Nibbler,"And so life returned to normal, or as normal as it gets on this primitive dirtball inhabited by psychotic apes.",Nibbler,"Thanks to the effect of the brain rays, the people of Earth had no memory of what had transpired, except Fry, and no one believed him or cared what he had to say."
Nibbler,"Thanks to the effect of the brain rays, the people of Earth had no memory of what had transpired, except Fry, and no one believed him or cared what he had to say.",Nibbler,"I, meanwhile, returned to my post, ever vigilant, lest Earth again come under Brain attack. And when that day comes, God help us. God help us all."
Nibbler,"I, meanwhile, returned to my post, ever vigilant, lest Earth again come under Brain attack. And when that day comes, God help us. God help us all.",Leela,Time for a diap-y change!
Leela,Time for a diap-y change!,Nibbler,End transmission.
Nibbler,End transmission.,Humorbot,"5.0 And then they built the super collider. Thank you, you've been a great audience."
Humorbot,"5.0 And then they built the super collider. Thank you, you've been a great audience.",Florp,up for Bobcat Zoidberg!
Florp,up for Bobcat Zoidberg!,Fry,Alright!
Fry,Alright!,Leela,Yeah!
Leela,Yeah!,Bender,"Alright, Zoidberg!"
Bender,"Alright, Zoidberg!",Zoidberg,"On Earth, everybody is always looking for a giant squid. On my planet--"
Zoidberg,"On Earth, everybody is always looking for a giant squid. On my planet--",Bender,Reload.
Bender,Reload.,Zoidberg,So these three parasitic worms bore into a human's head--
Zoidberg,So these three parasitic worms bore into a human's head--,Woman,"#1: Ew, gross."
Woman,"#1: Ew, gross.",Zoidberg,"Wait, stop! I've got more!"
Zoidberg,"Wait, stop! I've got more!",Zoidberg,My whole life I worked on that act. And they hated it.
Zoidberg,My whole life I worked on that act. And they hated it.,Hermes,"You're a crazy, penniless, lobster doctor. No combination of you should be a comedian."
Hermes,"You're a crazy, penniless, lobster doctor. No combination of you should be a comedian.",Zoidberg,But comedy is in my valves. My Uncle Harold was a big Hollywood star back in the era of silent holograms.
Zoidberg,But comedy is in my valves. My Uncle Harold was a big Hollywood star back in the era of silent holograms.,Leela,Your uncle was Harold Zoid?
Leela,Your uncle was Harold Zoid?,Zoidberg,This I cannot deny.
Zoidberg,This I cannot deny.,Farnsworth,"Why, I've been a Harold Zoid fan since back when my hips were made of bone. As it happens, I still have some of my original 78s."
Farnsworth,"Why, I've been a Harold Zoid fan since back when my hips were made of bone. As it happens, I still have some of my original 78s.",Hermes,"You're right, crabby. He's a hell of a lot funnier than you could ever be."
Hermes,"You're right, crabby. He's a hell of a lot funnier than you could ever be.",Zoidberg,"Maybe so, but perhaps if I wrote him and asked for a few hundred pointers..."
Zoidberg,"Maybe so, but perhaps if I wrote him and asked for a few hundred pointers...",Zoidberg,"Dear Uncle Zoid, greetings from your long-lost nephew. Norm and Sam and Sadie's boy, remember?"
Zoidberg,"Dear Uncle Zoid, greetings from your long-lost nephew. Norm and Sam and Sadie's boy, remember?",Zoidberg,"Now I am the most important doctor at the delivery company where I work. But, sadly, my life is bereft of laughter."
Zoidberg,"Now I am the most important doctor at the delivery company where I work. But, sadly, my life is bereft of laughter.",Zoid,"Oy, isn't that nice? He took the time."
Zoid,"Oy, isn't that nice? He took the time.",Woman,#2: What's that scribbledy-gook?
Woman,#2: What's that scribbledy-gook?,Zoid,"Dear Rich Doctor Nephew, I can help you be funny. The first funny thing you must do is put all your money in the form of a cashier's check and come to Hollywood."
Zoid,"Dear Rich Doctor Nephew, I can help you be funny. The first funny thing you must do is put all your money in the form of a cashier's check and come to Hollywood.",Zoidberg,Did you hear that? I'm going to Hollywood!
Zoidberg,Did you hear that? I'm going to Hollywood!,Tour,"Guide Fox uses those searchlights to blind pilots, then film the resulting plane crashes."
Tour,"Guide Fox uses those searchlights to blind pilots, then film the resulting plane crashes.",Bender,Neat!
Bender,Neat!,Tour,Guide?
Tour,Guide?,Bender,Bender is!
Bender,Bender is!,Tour,Guide: Then you'll wanna get a close look at his luxurious Bel-Air home.
Tour,Guide: Then you'll wanna get a close look at his luxurious Bel-Air home.,Bender,"Yes, I will."
Bender,"Yes, I will.",Calculon,Are you my new hot water heater?
Calculon,Are you my new hot water heater?,Bender,"No, I'm Bender. We met once, remember?"
Bender,"No, I'm Bender. We met once, remember?",Calculon,Absolutely not.
Calculon,Absolutely not.,Bender,"Come on, don't you remember how much I was bugging you, don't you? 'Cause it was a lot, you remember, right?"
Bender,"Come on, don't you remember how much I was bugging you, don't you? 'Cause it was a lot, you remember, right?",Calculon,Have you got an extra GOTO 10 line? I said I don't need a bender.
Calculon,Have you got an extra GOTO 10 line? I said I don't need a bender.,Bender,Bender? That was the other guy. My name's Boiler.
Bender,Bender? That was the other guy. My name's Boiler.,Calculon,"Nice work, Boiler."
Calculon,"Nice work, Boiler.",Bender,Thanks. And call me Bender.
Bender,Thanks. And call me Bender.,Zoidberg,"That's where I'm meeting Uncle Zoid for lunch to discuss my Hollywood dreams. Next time you see me, don't be surprised if I've eaten."
Zoidberg,"That's where I'm meeting Uncle Zoid for lunch to discuss my Hollywood dreams. Next time you see me, don't be surprised if I've eaten.",Zoidberg,"Uncle Zoid, you're looking young enough to be thrown back!"
Zoidberg,"Uncle Zoid, you're looking young enough to be thrown back!",Zoid,"So, here we are: A still-famous film comedian."
Zoid,"So, here we are: A still-famous film comedian.",Zoidberg,"And a rich, respected doctor with many surviving patients."
Zoidberg,"And a rich, respected doctor with many surviving patients.",Zoid,"Eating real food in a restaurant, as we both often do. So, you want to be a comedian, is it?"
Zoid,"Eating real food in a restaurant, as we both often do. So, you want to be a comedian, is it?",Zoidberg,It's my lifelong dream.
Zoidberg,It's my lifelong dream.,Zoid,You're unfunny and untalented. That's why you're perfect for drama.
Zoid,You're unfunny and untalented. That's why you're perfect for drama.,Zoidberg,Hmm. Serious drama. Perhaps it is time to give up comedy.
Zoidberg,Hmm. Serious drama. Perhaps it is time to give up comedy.,Zoid,"Uh, of fame."
Zoid,"Uh, of fame.",Zoidberg,"Ah, fame. Where do I come in?"
Zoidberg,"Ah, fame. Where do I come in?",Zoid,"you completely finance it with your doctor money. So, are you in?"
Zoid,"you completely finance it with your doctor money. So, are you in?",Zoidberg,"Uh, OK. How much do I have to invest?"
Zoidberg,"Uh, OK. How much do I have to invest?",Zoid,Then it's settled. Another blockbuster Hollywood deal.
Zoid,Then it's settled. Another blockbuster Hollywood deal.,Waiter,What can I get you gentlemen?
Waiter,What can I get you gentlemen?,Zoidberg,Is bread free?
Zoidberg,Is bread free?,Waiter,Yeah.
Waiter,Yeah.,Zoidberg,We'll split an order.
Zoidberg,We'll split an order.,Bender,What's with Monstro?
Bender,What's with Monstro?,Fry,He promised he'd give his Uncle Zoid a million bucks to make a movie.
Fry,He promised he'd give his Uncle Zoid a million bucks to make a movie.,Zoidberg,I've only been here a day and already I'm a Hollywood phoney.
Zoidberg,I've only been here a day and already I'm a Hollywood phoney.,Bender,"Well, perhaps I could call on TV's Calculon to help, now that I'm in showbiz."
Bender,"Well, perhaps I could call on TV's Calculon to help, now that I'm in showbiz.",Fry,Since when have you been in the biz?
Fry,Since when have you been in the biz?,Bender,"Long enough, little man. Long enough."
Bender,"Long enough, little man. Long enough.",Bender,film star.
Bender,film star.,Calculon,Of course. Tell me about the project.
Calculon,Of course. Tell me about the project.,Zoidberg,It's a movie.
Zoidberg,It's a movie.,Calculon,Interesting. Tell me more.
Calculon,Interesting. Tell me more.,Bender,can be the star.
Bender,can be the star.,Bender,"And, uh, I guarantee it'll win you an Oscar."
Bender,"And, uh, I guarantee it'll win you an Oscar.",Calculon,Harold Zoid?
Calculon,Harold Zoid?,Zoidberg,Xeroxed.
Zoidberg,Xeroxed.,Calculon,Good heavens! A chance to work with the legendary Harold Zoid. He's one of my great idols. And-And you say you can guarantee me the Oscar?
Calculon,Good heavens! A chance to work with the legendary Harold Zoid. He's one of my great idols. And-And you say you can guarantee me the Oscar?,Bender,I can guarantee anything you want.
Bender,I can guarantee anything you want.,Calculon,Then I'll do it!
Calculon,Then I'll do it!,Zoidberg,Hooray!
Zoidberg,Hooray!,Bender,Here's your chequebook.
Bender,Here's your chequebook.,Calculon,"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you our director, the legendary Harold Zoid!"
Calculon,"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you our director, the legendary Harold Zoid!",Zoid,"Thank you. A more classic movie plot there isn't: A son who does not want to follow in his father's business. And that business is being President of Earth, no less. The son, as it happens, is Vice President."
Zoid,"Thank you. A more classic movie plot there isn't: A son who does not want to follow in his father's business. And that business is being President of Earth, no less. The son, as it happens, is Vice President.",Bender,"That plot makes perfect sense. Wink, wink."
Bender,"That plot makes perfect sense. Wink, wink.",Zoidberg,"Bender, you said wink, wink out loud."
Zoidberg,"Bender, you said wink, wink out loud.",Bender,"No, I didn't. Raise middle finger."
Bender,"No, I didn't. Raise middle finger.",Zoid,"Now remember, and I can't stress this enough, this is a talkie, so I want the full gamut of emotions from every actor in every scene."
Zoid,"Now remember, and I can't stress this enough, this is a talkie, so I want the full gamut of emotions from every actor in every scene.",Zoidberg.,"Scene one, take one."
Zoidberg.,"Scene one, take one.",Zoid,"And, action!"
Zoid,"And, action!",Calculon,"dream, not mine."
Calculon,"dream, not mine.",Zoid,"I said this is a talkie, damnit! You've got to emote more! And you extras, wave your arms and make faces. What is this, a morgue?"
Zoid,"I said this is a talkie, damnit! You've got to emote more! And you extras, wave your arms and make faces. What is this, a morgue?",Zoidberg.,"Scene 10, take 95."
Zoidberg.,"Scene 10, take 95.",Zoid,Action. And I mean circus-grade action.
Zoid,Action. And I mean circus-grade action.,Calculon,"Sir, I call upon you not as a President but as a father."
Calculon,"Sir, I call upon you not as a President but as a father.",Zoid,"Throw a pie or two, for God's sake."
Zoid,"Throw a pie or two, for God's sake.",Calculon,Nooo!
Calculon,Nooo!,Zoid,"Cut, cut it! Eck! Look, look, it's alright, kid. We'll, uh, we'll get it in editing. Alright, that's a wrap, everybody. I'm gonna see you all at the premiere which, by the way, when is?"
Zoid,"Cut, cut it! Eck! Look, look, it's alright, kid. We'll, uh, we'll get it in editing. Alright, that's a wrap, everybody. I'm gonna see you all at the premiere which, by the way, when is?",Zoidberg,"Well, editing is a long and expensive process but we spent all the money on pies, so it'll be ready Friday."
Zoidberg,"Well, editing is a long and expensive process but we spent all the money on pies, so it'll be ready Friday.",Bender,"Nice turnout, Calculon. That Oscar's practically on your mantel."
Bender,"Nice turnout, Calculon. That Oscar's practically on your mantel.",Calculon,I just pray they like me half as much as I do.
Calculon,I just pray they like me half as much as I do.,Calculon,"Thank you, Lieutenant Smith."
Calculon,"Thank you, Lieutenant Smith.",Zoidberg,"Good morning, Mr. Vice President!"
Zoidberg,"Good morning, Mr. Vice President!",Fry,My only goal in life was to attend a Hollywood shindig. Just pay the valet the two bucks.
Fry,My only goal in life was to attend a Hollywood shindig. Just pay the valet the two bucks.,Leela,"No! It's the principle of the thing. Besides, I think I see a parking lot up ahead."
Leela,"No! It's the principle of the thing. Besides, I think I see a parking lot up ahead.",Calculon,"Father, I've asked you to join me on the White House roof so we could have a heart-to-heart talk. I will never follow in your footsteps. Here is my resignation as Vice President."
Calculon,"Father, I've asked you to join me on the White House roof so we could have a heart-to-heart talk. I will never follow in your footsteps. Here is my resignation as Vice President.",Zoid,"No! My son will not shame me like this. I would sooner die, I would!"
Zoid,"No! My son will not shame me like this. I would sooner die, I would!",Calculon,Father! The ledge!
Calculon,Father! The ledge!,Zoid,Oy!
Zoid,Oy!,Calculon,Oh!
Calculon,Oh!,Zoidberg,"The President is dead. Congratulations, Mr. President!"
Zoidberg,"The President is dead. Congratulations, Mr. President!",Calculon,Nooo!
Calculon,Nooo!,Bender,Woo-hoo! Yeah! He's a visionary!
Bender,Woo-hoo! Yeah! He's a visionary!,Calculon,Everyone walked out. They hated it. I've seen plagues that had better opening nights than this. You said that Oscar was practically on my mantel.
Calculon,Everyone walked out. They hated it. I've seen plagues that had better opening nights than this. You said that Oscar was practically on my mantel.,Bender,"Now you know why I use the qualifier, practically."
Bender,"Now you know why I use the qualifier, practically.",Calculon,You listen to me. I'm out a million bucks here! You get me that Oscar or you're dead! You and these snivelling lobsters! Dead. You hear me? Dead!
Calculon,You listen to me. I'm out a million bucks here! You get me that Oscar or you're dead! You and these snivelling lobsters! Dead. You hear me? Dead!,Zoid,"Oy, now he emotes!"
Zoid,"Oy, now he emotes!",Zoidberg,Let's just hope Calculon breaks our legs; they'll grow back.
Zoidberg,Let's just hope Calculon breaks our legs; they'll grow back.,Zoid,"He's gonna kill us, you klutzel! Who told that under-acting stiff he was going to get an Oscar?"
Zoid,"He's gonna kill us, you klutzel! Who told that under-acting stiff he was going to get an Oscar?",Bender,Me. It seemed like the least honest way to get him to pay for the movie.
Bender,Me. It seemed like the least honest way to get him to pay for the movie.,Zoid,"I though you paid, with your big-shot doctor money."
Zoid,"I though you paid, with your big-shot doctor money.",Zoidberg,I lied.
Zoidberg,I lied.,Zoid,"OK, enough with the blubbering, already. The way I directed the hell out of him, he may still very well get the nomination."
Zoid,"OK, enough with the blubbering, already. The way I directed the hell out of him, he may still very well get the nomination.",Bender,Wink.
Bender,Wink.,Calculon,400 categories and not a single nomination for me.
Calculon,400 categories and not a single nomination for me.,Zoidberg,But you won this Golden Globe!
Zoidberg,But you won this Golden Globe!,Calculon,I told you I want an Oscar.
Calculon,I told you I want an Oscar.,Bender,Then maybe you should act better.
Bender,Then maybe you should act better.,Calculon,The Oscar isn't about acting. It's about earning the respect and admiration of the creative community.
Calculon,The Oscar isn't about acting. It's about earning the respect and admiration of the creative community.,Zoid,How 'bout we rig the awards?
Zoid,How 'bout we rig the awards?,Calculon,That's fine too.
Calculon,That's fine too.,Leela,"It's no use. The tar is too thick. Plus, I think I flooded it."
Leela,"It's no use. The tar is too thick. Plus, I think I flooded it.",Fry,"Oh, my God! Sylvester Stallone!"
Fry,"Oh, my God! Sylvester Stallone!",Zoidberg,This is where you live? I though you were a big-shot Hollywood movie star.
Zoidberg,This is where you live? I though you were a big-shot Hollywood movie star.,Zoid,"No, I'm not. I'm an even bigger liar than you. My career went down the tubes the day they invented smell-a-vision."
Zoid,"No, I'm not. I'm an even bigger liar than you. My career went down the tubes the day they invented smell-a-vision.",Bender,Calculon's gonna kill us for sure. It's all everybody else's fault.
Bender,Calculon's gonna kill us for sure. It's all everybody else's fault.,Zoid,Oy. All I wanted was for people to think of me one last time before I die.
Zoid,Oy. All I wanted was for people to think of me one last time before I die.,Zoidberg,remembers Harold Zoid!
Zoidberg,remembers Harold Zoid!,Zoid,"As a pathetic has-been, they remember me. As a forgotten relic, they remember me. Bah! It's better to die now."
Zoid,"As a pathetic has-been, they remember me. As a forgotten relic, they remember me. Bah! It's better to die now.",Zoidberg,No. This is one death Dr. Zoidberg won't be responsible for. Zoidberg away!
Zoidberg,No. This is one death Dr. Zoidberg won't be responsible for. Zoidberg away!,Rivers,"Hi, I'm Joan Rivers' head. I tell you, I've had so many face-lifts, they finally lifted it right off my body! It's true, it's true! Oh, oh, oh! Here comes Jack Nicholson's DNA reconstituted in a gorilla body."
Rivers,"Hi, I'm Joan Rivers' head. I tell you, I've had so many face-lifts, they finally lifted it right off my body! It's true, it's true! Oh, oh, oh! Here comes Jack Nicholson's DNA reconstituted in a gorilla body.",Bender,Catering.
Bender,Catering.,Rivers,"Oh, and here's washed-up actor, whatshisname, Harold Zoid. Are you presenting one of those tacky honorary awards, or just getting one?"
Rivers,"Oh, and here's washed-up actor, whatshisname, Harold Zoid. Are you presenting one of those tacky honorary awards, or just getting one?",Zoid,"I'm a seat-filler, Joan's head. My only marketable skill is to occupy space."
Zoid,"I'm a seat-filler, Joan's head. My only marketable skill is to occupy space.",Calculon,"win that award, you're cat food. Right, Boxy?"
Calculon,"win that award, you're cat food. Right, Boxy?",Announcer,"And now, the host of the 1074th Academy Awards, Billy Crystal."
Announcer,"And now, the host of the 1074th Academy Awards, Billy Crystal.",Crystal,Our first award tonight: Best Cinematography in a Non-Visible Spectrum.
Crystal,Our first award tonight: Best Cinematography in a Non-Visible Spectrum.,Fry,It's been two weeks. You wanna play tic-tac-toe again before we eat our shoes?
Fry,It's been two weeks. You wanna play tic-tac-toe again before we eat our shoes?,Leela,The Los Angeles subway! We can blast our way in and escape!
Leela,The Los Angeles subway! We can blast our way in and escape!,Fry,"Alright, but I still feel like having a shoe."
Fry,"Alright, but I still feel like having a shoe.",Zoidberg,What category are they on?
Zoidberg,What category are they on?,Bender,They're giving out the minor technical awards. I think they're up to writing.
Bender,They're giving out the minor technical awards. I think they're up to writing.,Zoidberg,That just leaves Best Soft-Drink Product Placement and then Best Actor. We don't have much time.
Zoidberg,That just leaves Best Soft-Drink Product Placement and then Best Actor. We don't have much time.,Crystal,And the nominees for Best Soft-Drink Product Placement are:
Crystal,And the nominees for Best Soft-Drink Product Placement are:,Slurm,Machine.
Slurm,Machine.,Bender,... Dr. Zoidberg.
Bender,... Dr. Zoidberg.,Calculon,"OK, Boxy, keep your prong on the trigger."
Calculon,"OK, Boxy, keep your prong on the trigger.",Man,"#1: Uh-oh, he read the wrong name."
Man,"#1: Uh-oh, he read the wrong name.",Man,"#2: Shh, just play along, like they did for Marisa Tomei."
Man,"#2: Shh, just play along, like they did for Marisa Tomei.",Zoid,"Hooray, I won't be murdered. I'll live another day. Another day of ... pathetic, forgotten misery."
Zoid,"Hooray, I won't be murdered. I'll live another day. Another day of ... pathetic, forgotten misery.",Zoidberg,"And the winner, instead of any of the nominees, is the legendary Harold Zoid!"
Zoidberg,"And the winner, instead of any of the nominees, is the legendary Harold Zoid!",Zoid,... or just one die-hard fan.
Zoid,... or just one die-hard fan.,Zoid,"Now I can die happy. 10 seconds from now, when Calculon kills us."
Zoid,"Now I can die happy. 10 seconds from now, when Calculon kills us.",Calculon,Harold Zoid!
Calculon,Harold Zoid!,Bender,Hit the deck!
Bender,Hit the deck!,Calculon,Where's that Oscar?
Calculon,Where's that Oscar?,Zoid,"Here, enjoy. What are you getting upset? It's slightly less fraudulent for you to have it."
Zoid,"Here, enjoy. What are you getting upset? It's slightly less fraudulent for you to have it.",Calculon,"Yes. Yes, it's a real beauty. Someday I hope to win one of my own."
Calculon,"Yes. Yes, it's a real beauty. Someday I hope to win one of my own.",Bender,"Then you're not going to kill us, Your Majesty?"
Bender,"Then you're not going to kill us, Your Majesty?",Calculon,Nay. I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.
Calculon,Nay. I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.,Zoidberg,Earthquake!
Zoidberg,Earthquake!,Bender,Hit the deck!
Bender,Hit the deck!,Zoid,"Let the earth quake, I've got somebody's Oscar!"
Zoid,"Let the earth quake, I've got somebody's Oscar!",Fry,We made it! I'm at a Hollywood party!
Fry,We made it! I'm at a Hollywood party!,Doorman,"I'm sorry, sir, this is a private-- Oh, pardon me, I see you're with Mr. Stallone."
Doorman,"I'm sorry, sir, this is a private-- Oh, pardon me, I see you're with Mr. Stallone.",Morbo,"Tremble, puny earthlings! One day my race will destroy you all!"
Morbo,"Tremble, puny earthlings! One day my race will destroy you all!",Leela,Could one of you guys get that?
Leela,Could one of you guys get that?,Leela,"Hello, little guy. You know, I was abandoned as a baby too, so--"
Leela,"Hello, little guy. You know, I was abandoned as a baby too, so--",Bender,"Garbage, huh? I'll take care of it."
Bender,"Garbage, huh? I'll take care of it.",Leela,"Bender, stop! It's a baby!"
Leela,"Bender, stop! It's a baby!",Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Leela,"Oh, it's just a card. From the orphanarium I grew up in."
Leela,"Oh, it's just a card. From the orphanarium I grew up in.",Card,Please stand clear of self-destructing basket.
Card,Please stand clear of self-destructing basket.,Bender,"A reunion at your old orphanarium, eh? You gonna go?"
Bender,"A reunion at your old orphanarium, eh? You gonna go?",Leela,"No way, Jose-bot. I never wanna see those other orphans again! Not after the way they used to pick on me."
Leela,"No way, Jose-bot. I never wanna see those other orphans again! Not after the way they used to pick on me.",Kids,One-eye! One-eye! One-eye!
Kids,One-eye! One-eye! One-eye!,Kirk,"Nice depth-perception, one-eye!"
Kirk,"Nice depth-perception, one-eye!",Leela,"How can you make fun of me, Kirk? You're blind!"
Leela,"How can you make fun of me, Kirk? You're blind!",Kirk,"My eyes may not work, but at least I got two of them!"
Kirk,"My eyes may not work, but at least I got two of them!",Fry,"Aww. That's terrible, Leela. But imagine the look on their faces when you show up with two friends who eat all the hors d'Oeuvres."
Fry,"Aww. That's terrible, Leela. But imagine the look on their faces when you show up with two friends who eat all the hors d'Oeuvres.",Leela,"Well, I wouldn't mind rubbing my success in a few choice faces."
Leela,"Well, I wouldn't mind rubbing my success in a few choice faces.",Bender,Set a course for adventure!
Bender,Set a course for adventure!,Fry,Ew!
Fry,Ew!,Bender,What a dump!
Bender,What a dump!,Leela,Mr. Vogel? Remember me?
Leela,Mr. Vogel? Remember me?,Vogel,Leela! You're worthless and no one will ever love you!
Vogel,Leela! You're worthless and no one will ever love you!,Leela,You used to say that all the time!
Leela,You used to say that all the time!,Vogel,"Oh, those were happier days."
Vogel,"Oh, those were happier days.",Fry,Mmm! The gristle-in-a-blanket isn't half bad.
Fry,Mmm! The gristle-in-a-blanket isn't half bad.,Bender,And try one of these Popsicle sticks. They've absorbed quite a bit of flavour.
Bender,And try one of these Popsicle sticks. They've absorbed quite a bit of flavour.,Leela,"Hey, look. It's our old group picture."
Leela,"Hey, look. It's our old group picture.",Fry,I don't see you anywhere.
Fry,I don't see you anywhere.,Leela,That's me over in Cootietown.
Leela,That's me over in Cootietown.,Bender,Whoa! Get a load of this average-looking guy!
Bender,Whoa! Get a load of this average-looking guy!,Leela,That's Adlai Atkins. I used to have kind of a crush on him.
Leela,That's Adlai Atkins. I used to have kind of a crush on him.,Kids,One-eye! One-eye!
Kids,One-eye! One-eye!,French,Guy: Stupid as a French guy!
French,Guy: Stupid as a French guy!,Kids,One-eye! One-eye! One-eye! One-eye! One-eye! One-eye! One-eye! One-eye!
Kids,One-eye! One-eye! One-eye! One-eye! One-eye! One-eye! One-eye! One-eye!,Leela,"Well, it's time to say hello to the old gang."
Leela,"Well, it's time to say hello to the old gang.",Man,"#1: So, whatcha been up to since you left the orphanarium?"
Man,"#1: So, whatcha been up to since you left the orphanarium?",Man,"#2: Uh, living in a box, fighting the shakes. You?"
Man,"#2: Uh, living in a box, fighting the shakes. You?",Man,"#1: Selling kidneys, teeth, whatever falls out of me."
Man,"#1: Selling kidneys, teeth, whatever falls out of me.",Leela,"And what am I up to, you ask? Why, I'm a very successful space captain."
Leela,"And what am I up to, you ask? Why, I'm a very successful space captain.",Man,#2: Oh.
Man,#2: Oh.,Man,#1: Wow.
Man,#1: Wow.,Man,"#3: How nice for you, Leela."
Man,"#3: How nice for you, Leela.",Woman,That's so good for a person with one eye.
Woman,That's so good for a person with one eye.,Leela,Hey! You can't feel sorry for me! I'm a space captain and you're a bunch of losers.
Leela,Hey! You can't feel sorry for me! I'm a space captain and you're a bunch of losers.,Man,#1 the losers!
Man,#1 the losers!,Kirk,"Well, if it isn't old one-eye!"
Kirk,"Well, if it isn't old one-eye!",Leela,"Oh, yeah? Well, shut up, cane boy!"
Leela,"Oh, yeah? Well, shut up, cane boy!",Man,#3: He can't hear you. He's deaf now.
Man,#3: He can't hear you. He's deaf now.,Adlai,"Leave Leela alone. She's leading a perfectly normal life. She's not gussied up, duded out, getting down or where it's at. Now run along."
Adlai,"Leave Leela alone. She's leading a perfectly normal life. She's not gussied up, duded out, getting down or where it's at. Now run along.",Leela,"Thanks, Adlai. I guess you never really outgrow being an eyeball-- Oddball!"
Leela,"Thanks, Adlai. I guess you never really outgrow being an eyeball-- Oddball!",Adlai,"Nonsense. You're a space captain. That's a fine, conventional profession."
Adlai,"Nonsense. You're a space captain. That's a fine, conventional profession.",Leela,"Well, you know, it's just for a package delivery service."
Leela,"Well, you know, it's just for a package delivery service.",Adlai,Ah-ah. A package is just a box until it's delivered.
Adlai,Ah-ah. A package is just a box until it's delivered.,Leela,Huh. I'd never thought of it that way. So what do you do these days?
Leela,Huh. I'd never thought of it that way. So what do you do these days?,Adlai,"Oh, I'm a doctor."
Adlai,"Oh, I'm a doctor.",Leela,"A tall doctor, you say?"
Leela,"A tall doctor, you say?",Vogel,"Sir, you seem pretty stable. Have you thought about adopting one of our kids?"
Vogel,"Sir, you seem pretty stable. Have you thought about adopting one of our kids?",Fry,Sure haven't.
Fry,Sure haven't.,Vogel,Well keep adoption in mind. It's a great way to have a kid without having sex.
Vogel,Well keep adoption in mind. It's a great way to have a kid without having sex.,Fry,Really?
Fry,Really?,Vogel,"Plus, the government will help out with a small stipend of $100 a week."
Vogel,"Plus, the government will help out with a small stipend of $100 a week.",Bender,$100 a week?
Bender,$100 a week?,Adlai,I'm so sorry I teased you back then. Let me make it up to you. I can fix it so no one ever makes fun of you again.
Adlai,I'm so sorry I teased you back then. Let me make it up to you. I can fix it so no one ever makes fun of you again.,Leela,You mean by beating them up? Because I've broken that blind kid's nose like 10 times and it doesn't make any difference.
Leela,You mean by beating them up? Because I've broken that blind kid's nose like 10 times and it doesn't make any difference.,Adlai,"No, I specialise in phaser eye surgery. I can build you a paraffin eye and graft it on with skin from your foot. It won't be able to see but you'll look like a perfectly normal two-eyed person."
Adlai,"No, I specialise in phaser eye surgery. I can build you a paraffin eye and graft it on with skin from your foot. It won't be able to see but you'll look like a perfectly normal two-eyed person.",Leela,Me? Perfectly normal?
Leela,Me? Perfectly normal?,Bender,"Sons, daughters, meet Uncle Fry."
Bender,"Sons, daughters, meet Uncle Fry.",Fry,"Hey, why are those kids following you? Do you have candy stuck to your ass?"
Fry,"Hey, why are those kids following you? Do you have candy stuck to your ass?",Bender,"No. It's called parenting. Come on, dumplings. We've got 12 government stipends to collect."
Bender,"No. It's called parenting. Come on, dumplings. We've got 12 government stipends to collect.",Boy,Our daddy's a giant toy!
Boy,Our daddy's a giant toy!,Farnsworth,Phaser eye surgery is a capital idea. I'm sure Leela's tired of morons gaping at her eye all the time.
Farnsworth,Phaser eye surgery is a capital idea. I'm sure Leela's tired of morons gaping at her eye all the time.,Amy,... and here.
Amy,... and here.,Fry,You guys are crazy. Leela doesn't need surgery. You look great the way you are.
Fry,You guys are crazy. Leela doesn't need surgery. You look great the way you are.,Leela,"Oh, that's so sweet, Fry. But for once in my life, I just wanna look normal."
Leela,"Oh, that's so sweet, Fry. But for once in my life, I just wanna look normal.",Frynormal.,"If you ask me, you shouldn't care what other people think."
Frynormal.,"If you ask me, you shouldn't care what other people think.",Leela,I'm getting the surgery.
Leela,I'm getting the surgery.,Farnsworth,That a girl!
Farnsworth,That a girl!,Amy,Right on!
Amy,Right on!,Zoidberg,"Wonderful. And while you're under the knife, you could also get an ink pouch to help you escape your enemies."
Zoidberg,"Wonderful. And while you're under the knife, you could also get an ink pouch to help you escape your enemies.",Farnsworth,"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, you imbecile!"
Farnsworth,"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, you imbecile!",Adlai,Oops.
Adlai,Oops.,Amy,"Leela, those eyes look so great on you."
Amy,"Leela, those eyes look so great on you.",Fry,Bah! I think she looked fine before.
Fry,Bah! I think she looked fine before.,Farnsworth,No.
Farnsworth,No.,Zoidberg,No.
Zoidberg,No.,Amy,Uh-uh.
Amy,Uh-uh.,Hermes,Wrong.
Hermes,Wrong.,Leela,"Wow, look at me. Although I don't have the hang of blinking yet."
Leela,"Wow, look at me. Although I don't have the hang of blinking yet.",Adlai,"You'll get it. Personally, I try not to blink too much because it seems flashy. But when I do, I enjoy it."
Adlai,"You'll get it. Personally, I try not to blink too much because it seems flashy. But when I do, I enjoy it.",Leela,I did it! I blunk!
Leela,I did it! I blunk!,Hermes,And just in time to screw up this picture I took!
Hermes,And just in time to screw up this picture I took!,Leela,Hooray!
Leela,Hooray!,Walt,Ow!
Walt,Ow!,Igner,Ow!
Igner,Ow!,Larry,Ow!
Larry,Ow!,Leela,I've never felt so unremarkable! Today I actually blended in with a crowd!
Leela,I've never felt so unremarkable! Today I actually blended in with a crowd!,Bender,"Kids, meet the jerkbags I work with."
Bender,"Kids, meet the jerkbags I work with.",Kids,"Hello, jerkbags!"
Kids,"Hello, jerkbags!",Amy,"Oh, they're so cute! What are their names?"
Amy,"Oh, they're so cute! What are their names?",Nina,"My name's Nina, and his name's Albert--"
Nina,"My name's Nina, and his name's Albert--",Bender,"Lookie here! My first government stipend cheque! 12 baby humans, 1200 wing-wangs!"
Bender,"Lookie here! My first government stipend cheque! 12 baby humans, 1200 wing-wangs!",Sally,"Daddy Bender, we're hungry."
Sally,"Daddy Bender, we're hungry.",Bender,"Oh, fine. I'll get you some stupid food."
Bender,"Oh, fine. I'll get you some stupid food.",Albert,Can we have Bender burgers again?
Albert,Can we have Bender burgers again?,Bender,No. The cat shelter's on to me!
Bender,No. The cat shelter's on to me!,Adlai,"Hello, Leela. I was in a nearby tailor getting one of my Hawai'ian shirts toned down, so I thought I'd drop in for your follow-up exam."
Adlai,"Hello, Leela. I was in a nearby tailor getting one of my Hawai'ian shirts toned down, so I thought I'd drop in for your follow-up exam.",Leela,Oh. That's so handsome of you.
Leela,Oh. That's so handsome of you.,Adlai,"As for me, I'm somewhat interested myself."
Adlai,"As for me, I'm somewhat interested myself.",Leela,What are you saying?
Leela,What are you saying?,Adlai,"I've never been good with words, which is why I'm in such a delicate conundrum. Will you go out with me this Sunday?"
Adlai,"I've never been good with words, which is why I'm in such a delicate conundrum. Will you go out with me this Sunday?",Leela,Sure!
Leela,Sure!,Adlai,"I don't know what else to say, so I'll just say it. Okey-dokey, see you then."
Adlai,"I don't know what else to say, so I'll just say it. Okey-dokey, see you then.",Fry,This is so unfair! I liked you back when you were a cyclops! That guy's only interested now that you have two eyes.
Fry,This is so unfair! I liked you back when you were a cyclops! That guy's only interested now that you have two eyes.,Leela,You're just jealous!
Leela,You're just jealous!,Fry,"No, I'm not! Oh, wait, I am. But my point remains valid!"
Fry,"No, I'm not! Oh, wait, I am. But my point remains valid!",Leela,"Fry, I just wanna try dating a normal man, who if you go somewhere with him no one says he's crummy. I think I deserve that once in life."
Leela,"Fry, I just wanna try dating a normal man, who if you go somewhere with him no one says he's crummy. I think I deserve that once in life.",Zoidberg,"Be careful with that Adlai, Leela, he's a doctor, they're very poor."
Zoidberg,"Be careful with that Adlai, Leela, he's a doctor, they're very poor.",Leela,"Actually, most doctors are rich."
Leela,"Actually, most doctors are rich.",Zoidberg,That's not funny!
Zoidberg,That's not funny!,Bender,"OK, they've got everything you need here: Booze, a couple of peanuts, they got a crapper in the back. That's one of the things you kids do, right?"
Bender,"OK, they've got everything you need here: Booze, a couple of peanuts, they got a crapper in the back. That's one of the things you kids do, right?",Albert,Yeah.
Albert,Yeah.,Bender,Hey! Hey! Only eat and drink enough to barely keep yourselves alive! I'm trying to make a profit here.
Bender,Hey! Hey! Only eat and drink enough to barely keep yourselves alive! I'm trying to make a profit here.,Nina,Daddy! Bethany's hitting me!
Nina,Daddy! Bethany's hitting me!,Bender,Here.
Bender,Here.,Fembot,These kids yours?
Fembot,These kids yours?,Bender,Yeah.
Bender,Yeah.,Fembot,Ooh. I'm attracted to a man with responsibility!
Fembot,Ooh. I'm attracted to a man with responsibility!,Bender,"That's me, baby! Let me just ditch the kids in an alley and we can go have some fun."
Bender,"That's me, baby! Let me just ditch the kids in an alley and we can go have some fun.",Boy,Daddy Bender?
Boy,Daddy Bender?,Bender,"Son, daddy's trying to score with a cheap floozy right now, so we need you to cram a Tinkertoy in it!"
Bender,"Son, daddy's trying to score with a cheap floozy right now, so we need you to cram a Tinkertoy in it!",Boy,"I love you, Daddy Bender!"
Boy,"I love you, Daddy Bender!",Bender,"Hey, what the hell are you doing? Quit hugging me!"
Bender,"Hey, what the hell are you doing? Quit hugging me!",Fembot,I guess you're busy. I'll catch you later.
Fembot,I guess you're busy. I'll catch you later.,Bender,"Oh, come on!"
Bender,"Oh, come on!",Adlai,"I thought I'd take you someplace ordinary, a place no one could object to."
Adlai,"I thought I'd take you someplace ordinary, a place no one could object to.",Leela,That sounds wonderful.
Leela,That sounds wonderful.,Man,#4: I'd like an extra-beautiful bouquet for my extra-gorgeous sweetheart.
Man,#4: I'd like an extra-beautiful bouquet for my extra-gorgeous sweetheart.,Adlai,"Average, please."
Adlai,"Average, please.",Leela,"Oh, Adlai, I've had a wonderful time today. No one's stared at me or avoided staring at me or tried to burn me. You make me feel so not weird."
Leela,"Oh, Adlai, I've had a wonderful time today. No one's stared at me or avoided staring at me or tried to burn me. You make me feel so not weird.",Adlai,"Leela, you're 999,999 in a million!"
Adlai,"Leela, you're 999,999 in a million!",Leela,Thanks for coming out to get to know my boyfriend. Isn't he dreamy?
Leela,Thanks for coming out to get to know my boyfriend. Isn't he dreamy?,Zoidberg,Totally.
Zoidberg,Totally.,Adlai,"Uh, listen. I just want you all to know your Leela's one standard lady."
Adlai,"Uh, listen. I just want you all to know your Leela's one standard lady.",Leela,"Oh, Adlai, stop!"
Leela,"Oh, Adlai, stop!",Fry,What's so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us aren't normal and that's what makes us great. Like Dr. Zoidberg: He's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage and does.
Fry,What's so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us aren't normal and that's what makes us great. Like Dr. Zoidberg: He's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage and does.,Zoidberg,Damn right!
Zoidberg,Damn right!,Fry,Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant.
Fry,Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant.,Hermes,Tally me banana.
Hermes,Tally me banana.,Fry,Amy's a klutz from Mars.
Fry,Amy's a klutz from Mars.,Amy,Sploops!
Amy,Sploops!,Farnsworth,"And, Fry, you've got that brain thing."
Farnsworth,"And, Fry, you've got that brain thing.",Fry,"I already did! So, Leela, do you wanna be like us? Or do you wanna be like Adlai with no severe mental or social problems whatsoever?"
Fry,"I already did! So, Leela, do you wanna be like us? Or do you wanna be like Adlai with no severe mental or social problems whatsoever?",Leela,That's the dumbest question I ever heard!
Leela,That's the dumbest question I ever heard!,Farnsworth,She's right!
Farnsworth,She's right!,Zoidberg,No doubt about it.
Zoidberg,No doubt about it.,Amy,Duh!
Amy,Duh!,Hermes,Daylight come!
Hermes,Daylight come!,Bender,"Coming through, watch your heads!"
Bender,"Coming through, watch your heads!",Zoidberg,Help! I'm under attack!
Zoidberg,Help! I'm under attack!,Bender,"Remember your manners, kids. Forks go in the left pocket, spoons in the right."
Bender,"Remember your manners, kids. Forks go in the left pocket, spoons in the right.",Elzar,Which one of you cutie muffins gets the children's spicy squab?
Elzar,Which one of you cutie muffins gets the children's spicy squab?,Sam,Me!
Sam,Me!,Bender,Ah-ah-ah! What do we say when someone gives you something?
Bender,Ah-ah-ah! What do we say when someone gives you something?,Sam,'Bout time!
Sam,'Bout time!,Bender,That's my boy!
Bender,That's my boy!,Elzar,And here's your check. Bam!
Elzar,And here's your check. Bam!,Albert,I gotta go poopy!
Albert,I gotta go poopy!,Bender,"Well you should've gone poopy before it was time to run out on the check! C'mon! Go, go! Through the kitchen!"
Bender,"Well you should've gone poopy before it was time to run out on the check! C'mon! Go, go! Through the kitchen!",Elzar,You little crooks! If I catch you I'm going to make cutie-muffin gumbo!
Elzar,You little crooks! If I catch you I'm going to make cutie-muffin gumbo!,Adlai,"You know, seeing that strange robot force 12 children to do his bidding makes me think about kids of our own."
Adlai,"You know, seeing that strange robot force 12 children to do his bidding makes me think about kids of our own.",Leela,Us? Me? You? Kids?
Leela,Us? Me? You? Kids?,Adlai,"bachelor loca, settle down and have kids."
Adlai,"bachelor loca, settle down and have kids.",Leela,"Oh, Adlai, this is the most beautiful moment of my life!"
Leela,"Oh, Adlai, this is the most beautiful moment of my life!",Albert,"Daddy Bender, I want a piggy back ride."
Albert,"Daddy Bender, I want a piggy back ride.",Bender,Daddy's tired. Let's just have another dog-pile on Fry.
Bender,Daddy's tired. Let's just have another dog-pile on Fry.,Sally,"Tell us a story, Daddy Bender."
Sally,"Tell us a story, Daddy Bender.",Kids,Story! Story! Story!
Kids,Story! Story! Story!,Bender,"Alright, fine, gather round."
Bender,"Alright, fine, gather round.",Nina,We wanna hear this one again!
Nina,We wanna hear this one again!,Bender,"Bender's Arrest Record by the police. On March 3rd at 2pm, Bender was caught shoplifting."
Bender,"Bender's Arrest Record by the police. On March 3rd at 2pm, Bender was caught shoplifting.",Albert,There he is!
Albert,There he is!,Bender,"The grown-ups have to talk. Come on, Ma."
Bender,"The grown-ups have to talk. Come on, Ma.",Bender,Oh! I need a calculator.
Bender,Oh! I need a calculator.,Fry,You are a calculator.
Fry,You are a calculator.,Bender,I'm getting 100 bucks a kid and they're costing me 110!
Bender,I'm getting 100 bucks a kid and they're costing me 110!,Fry,There goes my new kitchen cabinets.
Fry,There goes my new kitchen cabinets.,Bender,I'm not sitting through one more PTA meeting. The kids have got to go!
Bender,I'm not sitting through one more PTA meeting. The kids have got to go!,Sam,"Daddy, how do I flush you?"
Sam,"Daddy, how do I flush you?",Bender,Just go to bed!
Bender,Just go to bed!,Adlai,"You know, doing this jigsaw puzzle of a pacifier factory makes me want to have children with you all the more."
Adlai,"You know, doing this jigsaw puzzle of a pacifier factory makes me want to have children with you all the more.",Leela,"Adlai, I was thinking, since we're both orphans, maybe we should adopt a child."
Leela,"Adlai, I was thinking, since we're both orphans, maybe we should adopt a child.",Adlai,"Adoption? Yes, that's acceptable. Heck, it's more than acceptable, it's adequately satisfactory!"
Adlai,"Adoption? Yes, that's acceptable. Heck, it's more than acceptable, it's adequately satisfactory!",Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Leela,"Hi, Bender. We'd like to adopt a child."
Leela,"Hi, Bender. We'd like to adopt a child.",Bender,"discount orphans. Now, little lady. What do I have to do to send you home with 12 orphans today?"
Bender,"discount orphans. Now, little lady. What do I have to do to send you home with 12 orphans today?",Adlai,"Uh, I'm afraid we only want one."
Adlai,"Uh, I'm afraid we only want one.",Bender,"Whatever you say, chief. I'll show you what I got in stock."
Bender,"Whatever you say, chief. I'll show you what I got in stock.",Leela,I remember this from when we were kids: The warden would trot you out in front of prospective parents and they'd judge you like a piece of meat.
Leela,I remember this from when we were kids: The warden would trot you out in front of prospective parents and they'd judge you like a piece of meat.,Albert,I'm Albert.
Albert,I'm Albert.,Leela,Kind of fatty.
Leela,Kind of fatty.,Bender,Then how about this little number? Pure-bred human. No vampire in there.
Bender,Then how about this little number? Pure-bred human. No vampire in there.,Leela,"Uh, um."
Leela,"Uh, um.",Adlai,Hmm.
Adlai,Hmm.,Bender,Cursed with a third ear but so full of that emotion I understand is called love.
Bender,Cursed with a third ear but so full of that emotion I understand is called love.,Sally,"One time, I did a hundred jump ropes."
Sally,"One time, I did a hundred jump ropes.",Leela,"Oh, I can't decide. We're gonna have to think about it."
Leela,"Oh, I can't decide. We're gonna have to think about it.",Bender,"OK, kids, grown-ups gotta talk now, time for bed."
Bender,"OK, kids, grown-ups gotta talk now, time for bed.",Albert,But it's 10 in the morning!
Albert,But it's 10 in the morning!,Bender,I said hit the hay!
Bender,I said hit the hay!,Leela,"Oh, they're all so adorable."
Leela,"Oh, they're all so adorable.",Bender,"Yeah. You know, it's times like this I can hardly bear to let them go. Goodnight, you princes of Maine, you kings of New New England."
Bender,"Yeah. You know, it's times like this I can hardly bear to let them go. Goodnight, you princes of Maine, you kings of New New England.",Smitty,food and misrepresenting the weight of livestock.
Smitty,food and misrepresenting the weight of livestock.,Bender,"If you had kids of your own, you'd understand!"
Bender,"If you had kids of your own, you'd understand!",Leela,"Officer, would it be alright if we adopted one of the kids?"
Leela,"Officer, would it be alright if we adopted one of the kids?",Smitty,Might as well. They're just gonna rot in the evidence locker.
Smitty,Might as well. They're just gonna rot in the evidence locker.,Orphan,#1: Nice ear!
Orphan,#1: Nice ear!,Orphan,"#2: Hey, freaky ears!"
Orphan,"#2: Hey, freaky ears!",Orphan,#3: How's you hearing?
Orphan,#3: How's you hearing?,Leela,I've made up my mind. Let's adopt her.
Leela,I've made up my mind. Let's adopt her.,Adlai,Her? But there's plenty of normal ones.
Adlai,Her? But there's plenty of normal ones.,Leela,"Come on, Adlai. She could really use a mom and dad."
Leela,"Come on, Adlai. She could really use a mom and dad.",Kids,Ear-face! Ear-face! Sally won the ugly race!
Kids,Ear-face! Ear-face! Sally won the ugly race!,Adlai,"On the other hand, the children bring up a good point. She does have an ear on her face."
Adlai,"On the other hand, the children bring up a good point. She does have an ear on her face.",Leela,Well? So what? She may be different but she still deserves a good home.
Leela,Well? So what? She may be different but she still deserves a good home.,Adlai,"Oh, alright. If you really want that one, I can give her an operation to make her acceptable."
Adlai,"Oh, alright. If you really want that one, I can give her an operation to make her acceptable.",Leela,She doesn't need an operation! She's fine the way she is!
Leela,She doesn't need an operation! She's fine the way she is!,Adlai,were?
Adlai,were?,Leela,Damn right I was!
Leela,Damn right I was!,Fry,Yay!
Fry,Yay!,Leela,"Shut up, Fry. Now look, Adlai. I'm proud to be different. And I just wished I'd realised that when I was her age."
Leela,"Shut up, Fry. Now look, Adlai. I'm proud to be different. And I just wished I'd realised that when I was her age.",Sally,I also have a tail!
Sally,I also have a tail!,Leela,Now take me to the hospital and put my eye back the way it was. Right now!
Leela,Now take me to the hospital and put my eye back the way it was. Right now!,Adlai,Why should I do that?
Adlai,Why should I do that?,Leela,"Listen, buddy. By the end of the day, one of us is gonna have one eye."
Leela,"Listen, buddy. By the end of the day, one of us is gonna have one eye.",Vogel,"In recognition of Bender's generous gift of 12 orphans and a government cheque for 1200 wing-wangs, I hereby rename this building the Bender B. Rodriguez Orphanarium!"
Vogel,"In recognition of Bender's generous gift of 12 orphans and a government cheque for 1200 wing-wangs, I hereby rename this building the Bender B. Rodriguez Orphanarium!",Fry,It's good to have the old weird-looking Leela back.
Fry,It's good to have the old weird-looking Leela back.,Leela,"Aww! You're a true friend, Fry. I guess there's nothing wrong with being a little weird."
Leela,"Aww! You're a true friend, Fry. I guess there's nothing wrong with being a little weird.",Fry,"Leela, there's nothing wrong with anything."
Fry,"Leela, there's nothing wrong with anything.",Albert,"We'll miss you, Daddy Bender."
Albert,"We'll miss you, Daddy Bender.",Nina,We know robots don't have emotions but we drawed you this picture.
Nina,We know robots don't have emotions but we drawed you this picture.,Sally,"So if you ever miss us, even just a teeny bit, you can look at it."
Sally,"So if you ever miss us, even just a teeny bit, you can look at it.",Bender,I hate you! I hate you all!
Bender,I hate you! I hate you all!,Mr.,Wong: Yes?
Mr.,Wong: Yes?,Amy,"Hi, Dad. It's me and my co-workers."
Amy,"Hi, Dad. It's me and my co-workers.",Mrs.,Wong.
Mrs.,Wong.,Mrs.,"Wong: Howdy, friends! Welcome to Mars!"
Mrs.,"Wong: Howdy, friends! Welcome to Mars!",Leela,"Thanks so much for inviting us, Mr. Wong. I've never been to a Mars Day barbecue."
Leela,"Thanks so much for inviting us, Mr. Wong. I've never been to a Mars Day barbecue.",Mr.,"Wong: Oh, Mars Day much better than Earth Day. Dump trash wherever you want! Big, empty planet!"
Mr.,"Wong: Oh, Mars Day much better than Earth Day. Dump trash wherever you want! Big, empty planet!",Mrs.,"Wong: OK, then. Make yourselves at home."
Mrs.,"Wong: OK, then. Make yourselves at home.",Zoidberg,bubble bath? There was only enough to fill the tub halfway.
Zoidberg,bubble bath? There was only enough to fill the tub halfway.,Farnsworth,This is quite a large ranch you have.
Farnsworth,This is quite a large ranch you have.,Mr.,Wong That the best hemisphere!
Mr.,Wong That the best hemisphere!,Farnsworth,It's the same on Earth.
Farnsworth,It's the same on Earth.,Mr.,"Wong: Here is most number one product of all: The mighty buggalo. They used for everything; meat, milk and their shells make good row boat."
Mr.,"Wong: Here is most number one product of all: The mighty buggalo. They used for everything; meat, milk and their shells make good row boat.",Zoidberg,I broke your television.
Zoidberg,I broke your television.,Hermes,"Mon, it must take forever to brand all those cattle."
Hermes,"Mon, it must take forever to brand all those cattle.",Mr.,Wong: Not really. We own so much stuff it easier just to brand everything that not ours.
Mr.,Wong: Not really. We own so much stuff it easier just to brand everything that not ours.,Hermes,Please don't do that.
Hermes,Please don't do that.,Amy,"This is my sweet, little Betsy. I raised her from a larva that ate one of my sweaters."
Amy,"This is my sweet, little Betsy. I raised her from a larva that ate one of my sweaters.",Mr.,"Wong: Yes, everybody love Betsy. We going to eat her at Amy's wedding. If she ever get married!"
Mr.,"Wong: Yes, everybody love Betsy. We going to eat her at Amy's wedding. If she ever get married!",Amy,Dad! Gleesh! Please don't say things like that when you meet my boyfriend tonight.
Amy,Dad! Gleesh! Please don't say things like that when you meet my boyfriend tonight.,Mr.,Wong.
Mr.,Wong.,Mrs.,Wong: I just hope he's a nice man who can make us lot of grandchildren. This not some parallel universe where you getting any younger.
Mrs.,Wong: I just hope he's a nice man who can make us lot of grandchildren. This not some parallel universe where you getting any younger.,Zapp,"Now remember, Kif, the quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in."
Zapp,"Now remember, Kif, the quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in.",Kif,"Actually, sir, I'm-I'm a little nervous about meeting her family."
Kif,"Actually, sir, I'm-I'm a little nervous about meeting her family.",Zapp,"Well that's natural. After all you're meek and uninteresting. Until now you've gotten by on my left-over charisma, scrounging off it like a tiny charisma parasite."
Zapp,"Well that's natural. After all you're meek and uninteresting. Until now you've gotten by on my left-over charisma, scrounging off it like a tiny charisma parasite.",Kif,I just hope they like me.
Kif,I just hope they like me.,Bender,"Oh, yeah! Drop another barnyard bomb on us, Vanilla Corn!"
Bender,"Oh, yeah! Drop another barnyard bomb on us, Vanilla Corn!",DJ,"Yo, fool, it's Mixmaster Festus!"
DJ,"Yo, fool, it's Mixmaster Festus!",Fry,"So what's Mars Day about, anyway?"
Fry,"So what's Mars Day about, anyway?",Mrs.,"Wong: It commemorate the day centuries ago when our ancestor, Sir Reginald Wong, bought Mars from stupid natives."
Mrs.,"Wong: It commemorate the day centuries ago when our ancestor, Sir Reginald Wong, bought Mars from stupid natives.",Leela,How can you call the Native Martians stupid?
Leela,How can you call the Native Martians stupid?,Mr.,Wong: They sell whole planet for one bead. Sound stupid to me!
Mr.,Wong: They sell whole planet for one bead. Sound stupid to me!,Farnsworth,stupid!
Farnsworth,stupid!,Leela,"I can't believe you're laughing at the tragic exploitation of a proud, bead-loving people."
Leela,"I can't believe you're laughing at the tragic exploitation of a proud, bead-loving people.",Fry,"Lighten up, Leela. It's funny!"
Fry,"Lighten up, Leela. It's funny!",Leela,Of course it is. But you don't have to laugh!
Leela,Of course it is. But you don't have to laugh!,Kif,"Amy, no! Not on your parents' planet!"
Kif,"Amy, no! Not on your parents' planet!",RJ,"Howdy, Amy. Glad to see you've come back to the country. It's where the flavour is."
RJ,"Howdy, Amy. Glad to see you've come back to the country. It's where the flavour is.",Amy,"RJ, this is my boyfriend, Kif."
Amy,"RJ, this is my boyfriend, Kif.",RJ,"Cigarette, partner?"
RJ,"Cigarette, partner?",Kif,"Oh, I don't--"
Kif,"Oh, I don't--",RJ,I haven't even lit it yet!
RJ,I haven't even lit it yet!,Kif,Oh. Is it lit now?
Kif,Oh. Is it lit now?,RJ,You're pathetic!
RJ,You're pathetic!,Zoidberg,Host-man! Host-woman! I'm having a wonderful time!
Zoidberg,Host-man! Host-woman! I'm having a wonderful time!,Mr.,"Wong: You here five hours and already you tear up couch, draw moustache on priceless painting and fill pool with brine shrimp."
Mr.,"Wong: You here five hours and already you tear up couch, draw moustache on priceless painting and fill pool with brine shrimp.",Zoidberg,"By the way, I took the liberty of fertilising your caviar."
Zoidberg,"By the way, I took the liberty of fertilising your caviar.",Amy,Just relax. I'm sure my parents will love you.
Amy,Just relax. I'm sure my parents will love you.,Kif,"Oh, goodness! Oh, odds and bodkins!"
Kif,"Oh, goodness! Oh, odds and bodkins!",Fry,I'll have a thorax and some feelers.
Fry,I'll have a thorax and some feelers.,Mr.,Wong: You want some salad with that?
Mr.,Wong: You want some salad with that?,Fry,Yuck!
Fry,Yuck!,Amy,Mom? Dad? You remember Kif?
Amy,Mom? Dad? You remember Kif?,Mr.,Wong: This your boyfriend? I have instant dislike of him!
Mr.,Wong: This your boyfriend? I have instant dislike of him!,Mrs.,Wong: He too scrawny to father grandchildren.
Mrs.,Wong: He too scrawny to father grandchildren.,Amy,"He's not scrawny, he's just small-boned."
Amy,"He's not scrawny, he's just small-boned.",Kif,"Actually, I don't have bones. I'm supported by a system of fluid-filled bladders that--"
Kif,"Actually, I don't have bones. I'm supported by a system of fluid-filled bladders that--",Mr.,"Wong: Yes, yes! You a big squishy wuss! Amy should be dating real man. Like him!"
Mr.,"Wong: Yes, yes! You a big squishy wuss! Amy should be dating real man. Like him!",Kif,"I can be manly too. I think I'll, uh, light up a smoke."
Kif,"I can be manly too. I think I'll, uh, light up a smoke.",Amy,Wrong way!
Amy,Wrong way!,Kif,Smooth!
Kif,Smooth!,Amy,Look on the bright side: My parents left after you passed out so they didn't even see you barf.
Amy,Look on the bright side: My parents left after you passed out so they didn't even see you barf.,Kif,"Oh, now they'll never think I'm manly enough to date their daughter."
Kif,"Oh, now they'll never think I'm manly enough to date their daughter.",Amy,I'll go get you a tissue from your tote.
Amy,I'll go get you a tissue from your tote.,RJ,"Hey there, Amy. Like you to meet my buddy, Joe."
RJ,"Hey there, Amy. Like you to meet my buddy, Joe.",Joe,club!
Joe,club!,RJ,Kids love him!
RJ,Kids love him!,Fry,What's that weird sound?
Fry,What's that weird sound?,Mr.,"Wong: Dust storm! Oh, dust storm! Everybody into house. Hurry, before we die. And wipe your damn feet!"
Mr.,"Wong: Dust storm! Oh, dust storm! Everybody into house. Hurry, before we die. And wipe your damn feet!",Mrs.,Wong: Phew! Everyone OK? No one considering lawsuit?
Mrs.,Wong: Phew! Everyone OK? No one considering lawsuit?,Farnsworth,Hmm. I might have mental anguish.
Farnsworth,Hmm. I might have mental anguish.,Mr.,Wong: I'll have you know I'm friends with every judge on planet.
Mr.,Wong: I'll have you know I'm friends with every judge on planet.,Farnsworth,I'm OK then.
Farnsworth,I'm OK then.,Mrs.,"Wong: Storm dying down. Leo, check if buggalo herd is OK."
Mrs.,"Wong: Storm dying down. Leo, check if buggalo herd is OK.",Mr.,Wong: Oh!
Mr.,Wong: Oh!,Leela,What happened to the buggalo?
Leela,What happened to the buggalo?,Mr.,Wong: They been rustled under cover of storm. We ruined!
Mr.,Wong: They been rustled under cover of storm. We ruined!,Zoidberg,Nooo!
Zoidberg,Nooo!,Amy,"Don't worry, Daddy. It'll be OK."
Amy,"Don't worry, Daddy. It'll be OK.",Mr.,Wong Drunken garbage can?
Mr.,Wong Drunken garbage can?,Hermes,This sounds like a job for--
Hermes,This sounds like a job for--,Kif,Lieutenant Kif Kroker!
Kif,Lieutenant Kif Kroker!,Hermes,Alright then.
Hermes,Alright then.,Mr.,"Wong: Aye-ah! Those buggalo are what made Wong family so rich and powerful. Oh, Inez, with them stolen, we ruined!"
Mr.,"Wong: Aye-ah! Those buggalo are what made Wong family so rich and powerful. Oh, Inez, with them stolen, we ruined!",Mrs.,Wong: OK. I want a divorce.
Mrs.,Wong: OK. I want a divorce.,Zoidberg,Mom! Dad! Don't ask me to choose!
Zoidberg,Mom! Dad! Don't ask me to choose!,Amy,"They're not your parents, I'm not your sister and that's not your golf cart."
Amy,"They're not your parents, I'm not your sister and that's not your golf cart.",Zoidberg,Aw!
Zoidberg,Aw!,Amy,Everybody just calm down. Kif promised he'd catch the rustlers.
Amy,Everybody just calm down. Kif promised he'd catch the rustlers.,Kif,"Mrs. Wong, do you have a neckerchief I could borrow?"
Kif,"Mrs. Wong, do you have a neckerchief I could borrow?",Kif,"My plan is to take all the remaining buggalo and lead them on a rough, tough cattle drive. Then, when the rustlers attack, I'll make a citizen's arrest!"
Kif,"My plan is to take all the remaining buggalo and lead them on a rough, tough cattle drive. Then, when the rustlers attack, I'll make a citizen's arrest!",Farnsworth,"It sounds dangerous. Someone could get killed. Fry, Leela, Bender, I want you to go with him."
Farnsworth,"It sounds dangerous. Someone could get killed. Fry, Leela, Bender, I want you to go with him.",Fry,"Aw, man!"
Fry,"Aw, man!",Kif,"Don't worry, Mr. and Mrs. Wong. I'll get your cattle back or die trying."
Kif,"Don't worry, Mr. and Mrs. Wong. I'll get your cattle back or die trying.",Mr.,"Wong: Hey, we can't lose!"
Mr.,"Wong: Hey, we can't lose!",Amy,"No, Kif! It's too risky. You don't have to do this to prove your manliness."
Amy,"No, Kif! It's too risky. You don't have to do this to prove your manliness.",Mrs.,"Wong: Oh, yes he does!"
Mrs.,"Wong: Oh, yes he does!",RJ,Here are your mounts!
RJ,Here are your mounts!,Leela,She's got a fine coat.
Leela,She's got a fine coat.,Kif,"Now, we need buggalo to lure the rustlers. How many are left?"
Kif,"Now, we need buggalo to lure the rustlers. How many are left?",Amy,"Aw, she likes you!"
Amy,"Aw, she likes you!",Kif,"Saddle up, men. We got some no good rustlers to ... catch!"
Kif,"Saddle up, men. We got some no good rustlers to ... catch!",He'd,better bite my ass!
He'd,better bite my ass!,Fry,Yee-haw!
Fry,Yee-haw!,Leela,"Wow, look at that: Olympus Mons, the tallest volcano in the solar system."
Leela,"Wow, look at that: Olympus Mons, the tallest volcano in the solar system.",Fry,Where?
Fry,Where?,Leela,Right in front of you.
Leela,Right in front of you.,Kif,We'll camp near the top. The rustlers will be sure to spot us there.
Kif,We'll camp near the top. The rustlers will be sure to spot us there.,Fry,Where?
Fry,Where?,Bender,"And even though the computer was off and unplugged, an image stayed on the screen. It was ... the Windows logo!"
Bender,"And even though the computer was off and unplugged, an image stayed on the screen. It was ... the Windows logo!",Fry,"Pft, that's not scary!"
Fry,"Pft, that's not scary!",Bender,It is if you're a laser printer.
Bender,It is if you're a laser printer.,Leela,"OK, my turn to tell a ghost story. Once, there was this woman driving--"
Leela,"OK, my turn to tell a ghost story. Once, there was this woman driving--",Fry,Hook on the hand!
Fry,Hook on the hand!,Kif,"OK, I've got one. This family--"
Kif,"OK, I've got one. This family--",Fry,Man in the attic!
Fry,Man in the attic!,Leela,"Fine, Mr. Know-It-All-About-Something-Finally, you tell a story!"
Leela,"Fine, Mr. Know-It-All-About-Something-Finally, you tell a story!",Fry,"Once, not far from here, four people set out on a cattle drive--"
Fry,"Once, not far from here, four people set out on a cattle drive--",Bender,"Sorry, go on."
Bender,"Sorry, go on.",Fry,"And then, while they sat helplessly around the campfire ... a demented knife-wielding escaped lunatic libertarian zombie mutant snuck up and--"
Fry,"And then, while they sat helplessly around the campfire ... a demented knife-wielding escaped lunatic libertarian zombie mutant snuck up and--",Amy,Surprise!
Amy,Surprise!,Kif,Amy? What are you doing here?
Kif,Amy? What are you doing here?,Amy,I forgot to give you something before you left.
Amy,I forgot to give you something before you left.,Kif,What?
Kif,What?,Amy,Is that your camouflage reflex or are you just happy to see me?
Amy,Is that your camouflage reflex or are you just happy to see me?,Kif,"I love it out here, Amy. I feel so manly. I have a blister, I-I spit! A-And of course, I tell no one my feelings."
Kif,"I love it out here, Amy. I feel so manly. I have a blister, I-I spit! A-And of course, I tell no one my feelings.",Amy,"But you still have them, right?"
Amy,"But you still have them, right?",Kif,"Oh, yes. But I keep them inside until I can write them in my diary."
Kif,"Oh, yes. But I keep them inside until I can write them in my diary.",Amy,"Ah, it's a wonderful night."
Amy,"Ah, it's a wonderful night.",Kif,It sure is. I could just lie here beside you staring at the sky all night.
Kif,It sure is. I could just lie here beside you staring at the sky all night.,Amy,What's that?
Amy,What's that?,Kif,Maybe we just made love.
Kif,Maybe we just made love.,Amy,The buggalo! They're in the crater.
Amy,The buggalo! They're in the crater.,Kif,"The rustlers must have seen me coming and run off, scared."
Kif,"The rustlers must have seen me coming and run off, scared.",Amy,"Oh, Kif! You're so brave!"
Amy,"Oh, Kif! You're so brave!",Kif,Sh! They'll hear us!
Kif,Sh! They'll hear us!,Kif,"OK, the dynamite's in place."
Kif,"OK, the dynamite's in place.",Amy,Are you sure there's no other way to get the buggalo out?
Amy,Are you sure there's no other way to get the buggalo out?,Leela,Not unless your parents have thousands of helicopters at their disposal.
Leela,Not unless your parents have thousands of helicopters at their disposal.,Amy,"Well, actually--"
Amy,"Well, actually--",Bender,Too late! This is more fun!
Bender,Too late! This is more fun!,Amy,Kif! You did it! But how did you know the dynamite would work?
Amy,Kif! You did it! But how did you know the dynamite would work?,Kif,I once took a seminar in ejecting chickens from a sand dune. The principle is essentially the same.
Kif,I once took a seminar in ejecting chickens from a sand dune. The principle is essentially the same.,Fry,"Hey, it's that barbecue's over sound again."
Fry,"Hey, it's that barbecue's over sound again.",Leela,We're in the eye of the storm!
Leela,We're in the eye of the storm!,Fry,Where?
Fry,Where?,Bender,What's that?
Bender,What's that?,Fry,My God!
Fry,My God!,Leela,Who are they?
Leela,Who are they?,Singing,Wind: Fehk! We are the Native Martians.
Singing,Wind: Fehk! We are the Native Martians.,Fry,"Also, I didn't know buggalo could fly."
Fry,"Also, I didn't know buggalo could fly.",Singing,Wind: Only those who revere Mother Mars can fly buggalo. And only they shall have buggalo. And they're us.
Singing,Wind: Only those who revere Mother Mars can fly buggalo. And only they shall have buggalo. And they're us.,Kif,"But your, um, Martian-ness, these buggalo aren't yours. They belong to the Wong family."
Kif,"But your, um, Martian-ness, these buggalo aren't yours. They belong to the Wong family.",Singing,Wind: You mean family that took all Martian land and gave us one lousy bead?
Singing,Wind: You mean family that took all Martian land and gave us one lousy bead?,Amy,And you are?
Amy,And you are?,Singing,Wind: Mad at Wong family! We plan to ruin them by stealing buggalo. But now we take girl instead.
Singing,Wind: Mad at Wong family! We plan to ruin them by stealing buggalo. But now we take girl instead.,Amy,Wait! I'm too rich to be kidnapped!
Amy,Wait! I'm too rich to be kidnapped!,Kif,Amy! Nooo!
Kif,Amy! Nooo!,Bender,"Don't worry, Kif. I'm sure some other beautiful, rich girl will fall in love with you."
Bender,"Don't worry, Kif. I'm sure some other beautiful, rich girl will fall in love with you.",Mr.,Wong: Hooray! You bring back cattle.
Mr.,Wong: Hooray! You bring back cattle.,Kif,Yes ... but ... I'm afraid I've got some bad news as well.
Kif,Yes ... but ... I'm afraid I've got some bad news as well.,Mrs.,Wong Why Amy being so quiet?
Mrs.,Wong Why Amy being so quiet?,Kif,"Um ... well, um ... that is, um..."
Kif,"Um ... well, um ... that is, um...",Mr.,Wong I know it them 'cause they no use good grammar.
Mr.,Wong I know it them 'cause they no use good grammar.,Kif,"I'll get your daughter back, sir. I swear."
Kif,"I'll get your daughter back, sir. I swear.",Mr.,"Wong: Forget it, squishy. You the one lose her in first place. You done enough."
Mr.,"Wong: Forget it, squishy. You the one lose her in first place. You done enough.",Mrs.,Wong: Yeah. This time we get most decorated law man in the whole universe!
Mrs.,Wong: Yeah. This time we get most decorated law man in the whole universe!,Kif,"You mean-- Oh, no, please. I beg you! Oh, for the love of--"
Kif,"You mean-- Oh, no, please. I beg you! Oh, for the love of--",Zapp,"I am the man with no name. Zapp Brannigan, at your service!"
Zapp,"I am the man with no name. Zapp Brannigan, at your service!",Mrs.,"Wong: Please, Mr. Brannigan, we need you go get our daughter back."
Mrs.,"Wong: Please, Mr. Brannigan, we need you go get our daughter back.",Zapp,Your gasps intrigue me. Explain.
Zapp,Your gasps intrigue me. Explain.,Mr.,Wong: Martians have no land. They been gently encouraged to live on reservation deep underground. No one ever dare go there.
Mr.,Wong: Martians have no land. They been gently encouraged to live on reservation deep underground. No one ever dare go there.,Farnsworth,"This mission is incredibly dangerous. Someone's sure to be killed. Fry, Leela, Bender--"
Farnsworth,"This mission is incredibly dangerous. Someone's sure to be killed. Fry, Leela, Bender--",Bender,"Damn you, old man!"
Bender,"Damn you, old man!",Leela,"Aw, look. Betsy followed you, Kif!"
Leela,"Aw, look. Betsy followed you, Kif!",Zapp,"I didn't realise you were bringing your girlfriend, lieutenant!"
Zapp,"I didn't realise you were bringing your girlfriend, lieutenant!",Kif,She won't leave me alone.
Kif,She won't leave me alone.,Zapp,Behold: The Great Stone Face of Mars.
Zapp,Behold: The Great Stone Face of Mars.,Fry,Hm.
Fry,Hm.,Zapp,The only known entrance to the Martian reservation.
Zapp,The only known entrance to the Martian reservation.,Leela,What about the Great Stone Ass of Mars?
Leela,What about the Great Stone Ass of Mars?,Zapp,"Well, yeah, but it's way over the other side of the planet."
Zapp,"Well, yeah, but it's way over the other side of the planet.",Zapp,"Nose-ward, ho!"
Zapp,"Nose-ward, ho!",Singing,"Wind: Fehk! I am Singing Wind, chief of the Martian tribe."
Singing,"Wind: Fehk! I am Singing Wind, chief of the Martian tribe.",Zapp,Take me to your leader.
Zapp,Take me to your leader.,Singing,Wind: Moving along. Why you trespass on our land?
Singing,Wind: Moving along. Why you trespass on our land?,Zapp,We come to negotiate the release of Amy Wong. And just to clarify: Land is the stuff that has sky over it.
Zapp,We come to negotiate the release of Amy Wong. And just to clarify: Land is the stuff that has sky over it.,Leela,They have such respect for the planet.
Leela,They have such respect for the planet.,Martian,#1: Cynthia used to drink Slurm.
Martian,#1: Cynthia used to drink Slurm.,Singing,Wind: We will give back girl when we get back planet surface.
Singing,Wind: We will give back girl when we get back planet surface.,Zapp,How do we even know she's alive?
Zapp,How do we even know she's alive?,Amy,I'm fine.
Amy,I'm fine.,Zapp,Sh! You're weakening our bargaining position. How about instead you give us the girl and we carve a bunch of our presidents into your sacred mountain?
Zapp,Sh! You're weakening our bargaining position. How about instead you give us the girl and we carve a bunch of our presidents into your sacred mountain?,Singing,Wind: You waste words. We want return of land that was taken from us.
Singing,Wind: You waste words. We want return of land that was taken from us.,Bender,"Uh, actually you traded it for a bead."
Bender,"Uh, actually you traded it for a bead.",Singing,Wind: Tribe suffer heap big buyer's remorse. We want land back!
Singing,Wind: Tribe suffer heap big buyer's remorse. We want land back!,Zapp,... no backsies!
Zapp,... no backsies!,Singing,Wind: The time for stupid statements is over!
Singing,Wind: The time for stupid statements is over!,Zapp,"Oh, boy!"
Zapp,"Oh, boy!",Leela,"Ow, ow, ow, ow! My eye!"
Leela,"Ow, ow, ow, ow! My eye!",Zoidberg,Ma! Pa! Our precious ranch!
Zoidberg,Ma! Pa! Our precious ranch!,Kif,"Stay calm, dearest! I'll save you!"
Kif,"Stay calm, dearest! I'll save you!",Amy,You're flying Betsy!
Amy,You're flying Betsy!,Kif,Need a lift?
Kif,Need a lift?,Singing,Wind: Great Mother Mars! He has the gift!
Singing,Wind: Great Mother Mars! He has the gift!,Leela,"Yay, Kif!"
Leela,"Yay, Kif!",Zapp,"Kroker, that was one Brannigan-esque feat of heroism!"
Zapp,"Kroker, that was one Brannigan-esque feat of heroism!",Singing,"Wind: We have misjudged you, green one. You fly the buggalo like us. You have true reverence for Mother Mars. Let there be peace between us."
Singing,"Wind: We have misjudged you, green one. You fly the buggalo like us. You have true reverence for Mother Mars. Let there be peace between us.",Martian,#2: Yes. Let us smoke-em peace pipe.
Martian,#2: Yes. Let us smoke-em peace pipe.,Kif,Smoke-em?
Kif,Smoke-em?,Singing,"Wind: Here, take."
Singing,"Wind: Here, take.",Kif,"Ooh, no thanks. I'm on the peace patch."
Kif,"Ooh, no thanks. I'm on the peace patch.",Singing,"Wind: You must smoke peace pipe, and you must do it peacefully. Or we'll kill you."
Singing,"Wind: You must smoke peace pipe, and you must do it peacefully. Or we'll kill you.",Kif,"Well, it's just really that I don't feel that--"
Kif,"Well, it's just really that I don't feel that--",Zapp,"Don't be such a chicken, Kif. Teenagers all smoke and they seem pretty on-the-ball."
Zapp,"Don't be such a chicken, Kif. Teenagers all smoke and they seem pretty on-the-ball.",Fry,Yeah!
Fry,Yeah!,Zapp,"Yes, sir!"
Zapp,"Yes, sir!",Bender,Way to suck it!
Bender,Way to suck it!,Kif,"Oh, monkey trumpets!"
Kif,"Oh, monkey trumpets!",Singing,Wind: You have coughed at our offer of peace. So you must die!
Singing,Wind: You have coughed at our offer of peace. So you must die!,Martian,#3: The very bead used to crush our dreams shall be used to crush your bones.
Martian,#3: The very bead used to crush our dreams shall be used to crush your bones.,Kif,"Well, actually, I don't have bones. I'm supported by a system of fluid-filled bladders that--"
Kif,"Well, actually, I don't have bones. I'm supported by a system of fluid-filled bladders that--",Fry,the bead you traded your land for?
Fry,the bead you traded your land for?,Leela,It's a gigantic diamond! That thing must be worth a fortune.
Leela,It's a gigantic diamond! That thing must be worth a fortune.,Singing,Wind: Really?
Singing,Wind: Really?,Bender,"Oh, Chief, you've made me the happiest girl in the world!"
Bender,"Oh, Chief, you've made me the happiest girl in the world!",Amy,"Y'know, if you still want your land, we could just trade back for it."
Amy,"Y'know, if you still want your land, we could just trade back for it.",Singing,Wind: Hmm. We always thought bead was worthless. We assumed our ancestors were cheated because they not have concept of ownership.
Singing,Wind: Hmm. We always thought bead was worthless. We assumed our ancestors were cheated because they not have concept of ownership.,Bender,So we can have the diamond?
Bender,So we can have the diamond?,Singing,Wind have concept of ownership. You are free to go. Sorry about all the rustling and kidnapping.
Singing,Wind have concept of ownership. You are free to go. Sorry about all the rustling and kidnapping.,Leela,But what about your sacred land?
Leela,But what about your sacred land?,Singing,"Wind: Land shmand! We don't wanna live on this planet. It's a dump. We'll buy new planet and act like it's sacred. With cash like this, who's going to argue? Nobody, that's who!"
Singing,"Wind: Land shmand! We don't wanna live on this planet. It's a dump. We'll buy new planet and act like it's sacred. With cash like this, who's going to argue? Nobody, that's who!",Amy,"Then Kif flew Betsy, rescued me from the tornado and made peace with the Martians."
Amy,"Then Kif flew Betsy, rescued me from the tornado and made peace with the Martians.",Mr.,Wong: Please! He too much of a wimp.
Mr.,Wong: Please! He too much of a wimp.,Mrs.,Wong: Yeah. I'm sure it was all Mr. Zapp Brannigan here.
Mrs.,Wong: Yeah. I'm sure it was all Mr. Zapp Brannigan here.,Zapp,"Please, you give me too little credit."
Zapp,"Please, you give me too little credit.",Zoidberg,"Captain Brannigan, you're always welcome here at Rancho Zoidberg!"
Zoidberg,"Captain Brannigan, you're always welcome here at Rancho Zoidberg!",Zoidberg,"Money doesn't make good people, no, siree!"
Zoidberg,"Money doesn't make good people, no, siree!",Amy,"Thanks for saving my life, Kif. You're my hero."
Amy,"Thanks for saving my life, Kif. You're my hero.",Kif,"Oh, you're kind. But your parents still don't like me."
Kif,"Oh, you're kind. But your parents still don't like me.",Amy,Well globviously! But if they liked you then I wouldn't. Don't you know anything about girls?
Amy,Well globviously! But if they liked you then I wouldn't. Don't you know anything about girls?,Kif,"Dear diary, I just made love for the second time!"
Kif,"Dear diary, I just made love for the second time!",Announcer,... Thompson's Teeth: The only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth.
Announcer,... Thompson's Teeth: The only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth.,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! Today marks our dear friend Dr. Zoidberg's 10th year with Planet Express. Huzzahs are in order."
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! Today marks our dear friend Dr. Zoidberg's 10th year with Planet Express. Huzzahs are in order.",Fry,Huzzah!
Fry,Huzzah!,Leela,Huzzah!
Leela,Huzzah!,Amy,Huzzah!
Amy,Huzzah!,Zoidberg,Hooray for me! Hooray for Zoidberg!
Zoidberg,Hooray for me! Hooray for Zoidberg!,Hermes,"Dear employee. Has it really been five, 10 or 15 years? If not, please disregard this and get back to work. Distribute token of appreciation and applaud."
Hermes,"Dear employee. Has it really been five, 10 or 15 years? If not, please disregard this and get back to work. Distribute token of appreciation and applaud.",Zoidberg,"Look! Coupons! I can get two oil changes for the price of one! Now if I could only afford the one ... and the car. Ah, the years! So many memories, so many strange fluids gushing out of patients' bodies--"
Zoidberg,"Look! Coupons! I can get two oil changes for the price of one! Now if I could only afford the one ... and the car. Ah, the years! So many memories, so many strange fluids gushing out of patients' bodies--",Hermes,"It's empty because you haven't paid into it, you dumb stinkbug!"
Hermes,"It's empty because you haven't paid into it, you dumb stinkbug!",Zoidberg,You kept track of it all these years!
Zoidberg,You kept track of it all these years!,Fry!,I haven't paid into the pension either. What'll I do when I retire?
Fry!,I haven't paid into the pension either. What'll I do when I retire?,Bender,I thought you were retired.
Bender,I thought you were retired.,Fry,"Hey, I don't see you planning for your old age."
Fry,"Hey, I don't see you planning for your old age.",Bender,I got plans. I'm gonna turn my on/off switch to off.
Bender,I got plans. I'm gonna turn my on/off switch to off.,Fry,Damn! Still only $100.
Fry,Damn! Still only $100.,Franklin,"A penny saved is a penny earned. Also, could you get some athlete's foot cream for my face?"
Franklin,"A penny saved is a penny earned. Also, could you get some athlete's foot cream for my face?",Fry,He's right! I've gotta start investing wisely.
Fry,He's right! I've gotta start investing wisely.,Fry,Mule. Crud!
Fry,Mule. Crud!,Bender,"So, you got six bucks left to retire on. I recommend Tender Vittles."
Bender,"So, you got six bucks left to retire on. I recommend Tender Vittles.",Teller,like yourself is aware that we charge a $10 monthly fee.
Teller,like yourself is aware that we charge a $10 monthly fee.,Fry,You gotta spend money to make money.
Fry,You gotta spend money to make money.,Teller,"Here you are, sir. Your account is now overdrawn by $4."
Teller,"Here you are, sir. Your account is now overdrawn by $4.",Robot,"Gee, I've seen lines move faster in a sperm bank."
Robot,"Gee, I've seen lines move faster in a sperm bank.",Bender,Roberto! Is that you?
Bender,Roberto! Is that you?,Roberto,"Bender! Hey, man!"
Roberto,"Bender! Hey, man!",Bender,You old lunatic! How you been?
Bender,You old lunatic! How you been?,Roberto,Everybody on the floor! This is a stick-up!
Roberto,Everybody on the floor! This is a stick-up!,Bender,I'm taking a Chinese cooking class at the Learning Annex.
Bender,I'm taking a Chinese cooking class at the Learning Annex.,Roberto,Cool. Ca-Can you give me a hand here?
Roberto,Cool. Ca-Can you give me a hand here?,Bender,"Sure thing, pal."
Bender,"Sure thing, pal.",Roberto,Quit watering that plant and get the door!
Roberto,Quit watering that plant and get the door!,Bender,"Well, nice talking to you."
Bender,"Well, nice talking to you.",Roberto,You guys are alright! Here's something for your trouble.
Roberto,You guys are alright! Here's something for your trouble.,Bender,"Hey, thanks, buddy!"
Bender,"Hey, thanks, buddy!",Smitty,"Freeze, punks! You're under arrest!"
Smitty,"Freeze, punks! You're under arrest!",Nixon,Shoot them in the back! Quick! While they're not looking!
Nixon,Shoot them in the back! Quick! While they're not looking!,Bailiff,Court is in session. The Honourable Judge Whitey presiding.
Bailiff,Court is in session. The Honourable Judge Whitey presiding.,Whitey,"The charge is bank robbery. Now, my caddie chauffeur informs me that a bank is a place where people put money that isn't properly invested. Therefore, robbing a bank is tantamount to that most heinous of crimes, theft of money."
Whitey,"The charge is bank robbery. Now, my caddie chauffeur informs me that a bank is a place where people put money that isn't properly invested. Therefore, robbing a bank is tantamount to that most heinous of crimes, theft of money.",Hyper-Chicken,"As the surveillance camera for the bank what all the judge was a-jawing about, could y'all tell us what you done seen the day of the crime?"
Hyper-Chicken,"As the surveillance camera for the bank what all the judge was a-jawing about, could y'all tell us what you done seen the day of the crime?",Camera,"Well, let's see. My memory's a little fuzzy, but it went exactly like this:"
Camera,"Well, let's see. My memory's a little fuzzy, but it went exactly like this:",Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour, I move that I be disbarred for introducing this evidence against my own clients."
Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour, I move that I be disbarred for introducing this evidence against my own clients.",Hyper-Chicken,"Mr. Fry, do you recognise the robot a-huggin' on you in this here hologram?"
Hyper-Chicken,"Mr. Fry, do you recognise the robot a-huggin' on you in this here hologram?",Fry,I sure do! That's the real robber and I'll never forget his name as long as I live. And that name is--
Fry,I sure do! That's the real robber and I'll never forget his name as long as I live. And that name is--,Leela,Fry! Just give a name. You don't wanna look stupid on Court TV!
Leela,Fry! Just give a name. You don't wanna look stupid on Court TV!,Fry,You're right. You're right. It was--
Fry,You're right. You're right. It was--,Whitey,Yes? What? You say if I testify I'll be killed? Oh. It's for you.
Whitey,Yes? What? You say if I testify I'll be killed? Oh. It's for you.,Roberto,...and the other hamburger will...
Roberto,...and the other hamburger will...,Roberto,"...also be made of your lungs. So long, pal."
Roberto,"...also be made of your lungs. So long, pal.",Fry,I refuse to testify on the grounds that my organs will be chopped up into a patty.
Fry,I refuse to testify on the grounds that my organs will be chopped up into a patty.,Whitey,"Ah, the 67th Amendment."
Whitey,"Ah, the 67th Amendment.",Hyper-Chicken,I may be a simple country Hyper-Chicken but I know when we're finger-licked. Whattya say we plead insanity?
Hyper-Chicken,I may be a simple country Hyper-Chicken but I know when we're finger-licked. Whattya say we plead insanity?,Bender,A few months in an insane asylum? I could do that standing on my head.
Bender,A few months in an insane asylum? I could do that standing on my head.,Hyper-Chicken,"If you start now, it might help our case."
Hyper-Chicken,"If you start now, it might help our case.",Whitey,"Counselor, what evidence do you offer to support this new plea of insanity?"
Whitey,"Counselor, what evidence do you offer to support this new plea of insanity?",Hyper-Chicken,"Well, for one, they done hired me to represent them."
Hyper-Chicken,"Well, for one, they done hired me to represent them.",Whitey,"Insanity plea is accepted. Mr. Bender, I hereby commit you to the asylum for criminally insane robots until such time as you are deemed cured."
Whitey,"Insanity plea is accepted. Mr. Bender, I hereby commit you to the asylum for criminally insane robots until such time as you are deemed cured.",Bender,Yahoo! The system fails again!
Bender,Yahoo! The system fails again!,Whitey,"And, Mr. Fry, I sentence you to the home for criminally insane humans."
Whitey,"And, Mr. Fry, I sentence you to the home for criminally insane humans.",Bailiff,"Your Honour, that facility has been full ever since you ruled that being poor is a mental illness."
Bailiff,"Your Honour, that facility has been full ever since you ruled that being poor is a mental illness.",Whitey,Order! Order! The only poor people I want to hear about are the people who tend to my pores at the spa. Just send them both to the robot loony bin and let's go.
Whitey,Order! Order! The only poor people I want to hear about are the people who tend to my pores at the spa. Just send them both to the robot loony bin and let's go.,Fry,Ow! My head! Ow! My feet! Ow! My head! Ow! My feet!
Fry,Ow! My head! Ow! My feet! Ow! My head! Ow! My feet!,Farnsworth,Keep your chin up!
Farnsworth,Keep your chin up!,Fry,Ow! My chin!
Fry,Ow! My chin!,Bender,"Well, you meet half the qualifications."
Bender,"Well, you meet half the qualifications.",Fry,"Oh, good, a physical! Once they examine my fragile, naked, pink body, they'll see I'm not a--"
Fry,"Oh, good, a physical! Once they examine my fragile, naked, pink body, they'll see I'm not a--",Fry,What the--
Fry,What the--,Bender,I find that offensive!
Bender,I find that offensive!,Dr.,Perceptron: Greetings. I am Dr. Perceptron. Let me give you something to help you relax.
Dr.,Perceptron: Greetings. I am Dr. Perceptron. Let me give you something to help you relax.,Fry,"I'm all squishy and flabby. Also, I complain a lot."
Fry,"I'm all squishy and flabby. Also, I complain a lot.",Dr.,"Perceptron Terrific. Now, consider the following: You were admitted to this robot asylum. Therefore, you must be a robot. Diagnosis complete."
Dr.,"Perceptron Terrific. Now, consider the following: You were admitted to this robot asylum. Therefore, you must be a robot. Diagnosis complete.",Fry,I do other human stuff! I age! See?
Fry,I do other human stuff! I age! See?,Nurse,"Ratchet: I'm Nurse Ratchet. Please come with me, won't you?"
Nurse,"Ratchet: I'm Nurse Ratchet. Please come with me, won't you?",Nurse,"Ratchet: We'll meet your roommate next, shall we? His name is Malfunctioning Eddie."
Nurse,"Ratchet: We'll meet your roommate next, shall we? His name is Malfunctioning Eddie.",Fry,The car dealer? Wow! I guess his prices really were insane.
Fry,The car dealer? Wow! I guess his prices really were insane.,Nurse,Ratchet So don't say anything to surprise him.
Nurse,Ratchet So don't say anything to surprise him.,Malfunctioning,Eddie: Pleased to meet you.
Malfunctioning,Eddie: Pleased to meet you.,Fry,"Actually, we've met once before."
Fry,"Actually, we've met once before.",Malfunctioning,Eddie?
Malfunctioning,Eddie?,Hairbot,girl.
Hairbot,girl.,Bender,Whoa! Someone had a busy day.
Bender,Whoa! Someone had a busy day.,Fry,"My roommate exploded. Oh, you gotta help me, Bender. How can I prove I'm human?"
Fry,"My roommate exploded. Oh, you gotta help me, Bender. How can I prove I'm human?",Bender,You could drop dead. That'd show 'em.
Bender,You could drop dead. That'd show 'em.,Fry,I don't wanna!
Fry,I don't wanna!,Unit,"2013: Hey, man. I believe you're a human."
Unit,"2013: Hey, man. I believe you're a human.",Fry,You do?
Fry,You do?,Unit,"2013 Fry, meet Norm. How's it going, pal? Still picking up transmissions from the CIA on your teeth?"
Unit,"2013 Fry, meet Norm. How's it going, pal? Still picking up transmissions from the CIA on your teeth?",Norm,They just won't stop!
Norm,They just won't stop!,Woman,"The CIA cafeteria menu for the week of May 15th is as follows: Monday, shepherd's pie. Tu--"
Woman,"The CIA cafeteria menu for the week of May 15th is as follows: Monday, shepherd's pie. Tu--",Unit,2013: Cuckoo!
Unit,2013: Cuckoo!,Fry,"Let me guess, he thinks he's Lincoln?"
Fry,"Let me guess, he thinks he's Lincoln?",Unit,"2013: Well, he's supposed to. Problem is he's got multiple personalities -- all of them Lincoln."
Unit,"2013: Well, he's supposed to. Problem is he's got multiple personalities -- all of them Lincoln.",Lincolnbot,I was born in 200 log cabins.
Lincolnbot,I was born in 200 log cabins.,Unit,"2013 How is work in the lunchroom, Frankie?"
Unit,"2013 How is work in the lunchroom, Frankie?",Frankie,It's alright.
Frankie,It's alright.,Unit,2013: Poor Frankie!
Unit,2013: Poor Frankie!,Mad,Hatterbot: Change places!
Mad,Hatterbot: Change places!,Fry,"Bender, I can't take much more of this! I want outta here!"
Fry,"Bender, I can't take much more of this! I want outta here!",Bender,Ah! Sweet light crude!
Bender,Ah! Sweet light crude!,Fry,But I'm not a robot like you. I don't like having discs crammed into me. Unless they're Oreos -- and then only in the mouth! Don't you understand? I'm gonna die here!
Fry,But I'm not a robot like you. I don't like having discs crammed into me. Unless they're Oreos -- and then only in the mouth! Don't you understand? I'm gonna die here!,Bender,"Ah, quit your bellyaching and take it like a robot."
Bender,"Ah, quit your bellyaching and take it like a robot.",Mad,Hatterbot: Change places!
Mad,Hatterbot: Change places!,Victor,The doctor says you are making great strides with your exploding problem.
Victor,The doctor says you are making great strides with your exploding problem.,Malfunctioning,"Eddie: Well, the way I see it--"
Malfunctioning,"Eddie: Well, the way I see it--",Fry,Gimme! Gimme!
Fry,Gimme! Gimme!,Hermes,Poor Fry! He's got the munchies for freedom!
Hermes,Poor Fry! He's got the munchies for freedom!,Leela,We're all trying to help you. We've petitioned the governor but he doesn't want to appear soft on people who've been falsely imprisoned.
Leela,We're all trying to help you. We've petitioned the governor but he doesn't want to appear soft on people who've been falsely imprisoned.,Fry,At least I have friends on the outside. Bender's been no help at all.
Fry,At least I have friends on the outside. Bender's been no help at all.,Bender,"No, seriously, I'm not."
Bender,"No, seriously, I'm not.",Amy,Bender! You should be more ashamed of yourself than usual.
Amy,Bender! You should be more ashamed of yourself than usual.,Bender,"Ah, lighten up, honey. I'm just trying to get through a difficult time using humour."
Bender,"Ah, lighten up, honey. I'm just trying to get through a difficult time using humour.",Nurse,Ratchet: Visiting hours are over. Time for our medication disks.
Nurse,Ratchet: Visiting hours are over. Time for our medication disks.,Fry,"Help me! For God's sake, help me!"
Fry,"Help me! For God's sake, help me!",Farnsworth,"Oh, don't worry, Fry. I too once spent a nightmare-ish time in a robot asylum. But now it's nearly over. So long."
Farnsworth,"Oh, don't worry, Fry. I too once spent a nightmare-ish time in a robot asylum. But now it's nearly over. So long.",Fry,"Oh, God! What? What? What is it now?"
Fry,"Oh, God! What? What? What is it now?",Dr.,Perceptron: You are being released.
Dr.,Perceptron: You are being released.,Fry,"Finally! Sweet justice! Sweet, juicy justice!"
Fry,"Finally! Sweet justice! Sweet, juicy justice!",Dr.,Perceptron: Not you. Him.
Dr.,Perceptron: Not you. Him.,Malfunctioning,Eddie Look!
Malfunctioning,Eddie Look!,Malfunctioning,Eddie: I barely exploded at all.
Malfunctioning,Eddie: I barely exploded at all.,Dr.,Perceptron: We can control that with medication.
Dr.,Perceptron: We can control that with medication.,Nurse,Ratchet: Fry? Are we ready to meet our new roommate?
Nurse,Ratchet: Fry? Are we ready to meet our new roommate?,Roberto,"Hi, Red!"
Roberto,"Hi, Red!",Fry,Roberto! W-W-W-What are you doing here?
Fry,Roberto! W-W-W-What are you doing here?,Roberto,I got busted robbing that bank again.
Roberto,I got busted robbing that bank again.,Fry,Why would you hold up the same bank twice?
Fry,Why would you hold up the same bank twice?,Fry,N-- N-- N--
Fry,N-- N-- N--,Roberto,"Noticeably? I'll say! Now stand back, I gotta practise my stabbing."
Roberto,"Noticeably? I'll say! Now stand back, I gotta practise my stabbing.",Fry,No! Please! Help! Stop it! Please!
Fry,No! Please! Help! Stop it! Please!,Bender,Hey! Keep it down in there! I'm tuning my banjo!
Bender,Hey! Keep it down in there! I'm tuning my banjo!,Fry,I'm not a robot!
Fry,I'm not a robot!,Dr.,Perceptron cured.
Dr.,Perceptron cured.,Hermes,Oh!
Hermes,Oh!,Farnsworth,What a relief!
Farnsworth,What a relief!,Leela,Thank God!
Leela,Thank God!,Dr.,Perceptron: You'll notice he no longer suffers delusions of humanity.
Dr.,Perceptron: You'll notice he no longer suffers delusions of humanity.,Fry,"Affirmative. I feel nothing. I am a robot. Beep, beep, beep ..."
Fry,"Affirmative. I feel nothing. I am a robot. Beep, beep, beep ...",Leela,"You've made a terrible mistake. He's a human being, not a machine. Oh, Fry!"
Leela,"You've made a terrible mistake. He's a human being, not a machine. Oh, Fry!","Bender,",y'all!
"Bender,",y'all!,Zoidberg,me a doctor. These fancy clothes do!
Zoidberg,me a doctor. These fancy clothes do!,Fry,Negative. I must be a robot. Why else would human women refuse to date me?
Fry,Negative. I must be a robot. Why else would human women refuse to date me?,Leela,"Oh, lots of reasons."
Leela,"Oh, lots of reasons.",Fry,"Bio-units, terminate noise exchange. It is time for you to ingest sandwiches from my compartment."
Fry,"Bio-units, terminate noise exchange. It is time for you to ingest sandwiches from my compartment.",Bender,Here we go. Just a minute. Aha!
Bender,Here we go. Just a minute. Aha!,Commentator,"And down the stretch, it's Daddy's Little Grandpa, followed by Perennial Loser, and bringing up the rear, it's Lasty!"
Commentator,"And down the stretch, it's Daddy's Little Grandpa, followed by Perennial Loser, and bringing up the rear, it's Lasty!",Bender,"Come on, Lasty!"
Bender,"Come on, Lasty!",Roberto,"Hey, Bender."
Roberto,"Hey, Bender.",Bender,"Roberto! Ooh, what a surprise to see you in here! Especially 'cause I didn't squeal on you, remember? Remember all that squealing I didn't do? Remember? Do you?"
Bender,"Roberto! Ooh, what a surprise to see you in here! Especially 'cause I didn't squeal on you, remember? Remember all that squealing I didn't do? Remember? Do you?",Roberto,"Yeah, yeah. Now lie down and play dead. And don't ham it up!"
Roberto,"Yeah, yeah. Now lie down and play dead. And don't ham it up!",Bender,"Anything for you, buddy."
Bender,"Anything for you, buddy.",Roberto,"Wait here, Bender. I need to get a disguise."
Roberto,"Wait here, Bender. I need to get a disguise.",Bender,"Uh, what's with the get-up?"
Bender,"Uh, what's with the get-up?",Roberto,you so you don't squeal?
Roberto,you so you don't squeal?,Bender,So when were you planning the breakout?
Bender,So when were you planning the breakout?,Roberto,I'm thinking maybe a few seconds ago.
Roberto,I'm thinking maybe a few seconds ago.,Bender,Quick! Let's keep escaping!
Bender,Quick! Let's keep escaping!,Hermes,"Times two, carry the one..."
Hermes,"Times two, carry the one...",Fry,"Oh, you sad, worthless human."
Fry,"Oh, you sad, worthless human.",Hermes,What are ya-- Sacred hog of Prague! That was my anniversary gift to LaBarbara!
Hermes,What are ya-- Sacred hog of Prague! That was my anniversary gift to LaBarbara!,Fry,Fear not! For I shall assist ye!
Fry,Fear not! For I shall assist ye!,Hermes,Robots don't say ye!
Hermes,Robots don't say ye!,Fry,What is the meaning of this symbol?
Fry,What is the meaning of this symbol?,Hermes,"That's a plus sign, you pointy-haired loony! Quit thinking you're a robot!"
Hermes,"That's a plus sign, you pointy-haired loony! Quit thinking you're a robot!",Fry,I'll show ye!
Fry,I'll show ye!,Fry,Stand back. I'm a tool-bot.
Fry,Stand back. I'm a tool-bot.,Leela,You're not a tool-bot. You're not a food-motron. You're not a robot of any kind.
Leela,You're not a tool-bot. You're not a food-motron. You're not a robot of any kind.,Fry,"Yes, I am. I simply haven't discovered my primary function yet."
Fry,"Yes, I am. I simply haven't discovered my primary function yet.",Leela,"OK, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can."
Leela,"OK, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can.",Farnsworth,You're going to do his laundry?
Farnsworth,You're going to do his laundry?,Leela,"Fry, this is for you."
Leela,"Fry, this is for you.",Fry,Beep.
Fry,Beep.,Leela,"Oh, for God's sake!"
Leela,"Oh, for God's sake!",Zoidberg,"By a scallop's forelocks! What's with all the beer, Fry?"
Zoidberg,"By a scallop's forelocks! What's with all the beer, Fry?",Fry,Beep.
Fry,Beep.,Roberto,"Thanks for helping me escape, Bender."
Roberto,"Thanks for helping me escape, Bender.",Bender,"Oh, it was nothing."
Bender,"Oh, it was nothing.",Roberto,I wanna repay you. Let me get you something in here.
Roberto,I wanna repay you. Let me get you something in here.,Roberto,Hands up! This is a stick-up again!
Roberto,Hands up! This is a stick-up again!,Bender,"Wow! Hitting the same place three times? I admire your style, Roberto."
Bender,"Wow! Hitting the same place three times? I admire your style, Roberto.",Roberto,Gimme the remaining dough. And the calendars ... and that pen. Try to tear it so most of the beads are on my end!
Roberto,Gimme the remaining dough. And the calendars ... and that pen. Try to tear it so most of the beads are on my end!,URL,Police! You're busted!
URL,Police! You're busted!,Smitty,Duck! Lasers!
Smitty,Duck! Lasers!,Bender,Come on! I got a place where I like to hide after crimes.
Bender,Come on! I got a place where I like to hide after crimes.,Amy,Aw! He looks like a little insane drunken angel.
Amy,Aw! He looks like a little insane drunken angel.,Bender,"Hey, everybody. Meet my good pal, Roberto."
Bender,"Hey, everybody. Meet my good pal, Roberto.",Hermes,"Hey, mon."
Hermes,"Hey, mon.",Roberto,Nice to meet you.
Roberto,Nice to meet you.,Smitty,Come out with your hands up.
Smitty,Come out with your hands up.,Roberto,Hostages!
Roberto,Hostages!,Roberto,Back off! I got hostages!
Roberto,Back off! I got hostages!,Zoidberg,Hooray! I'm helping!
Zoidberg,Hooray! I'm helping!,Smitty,Do you have any better hostages?
Smitty,Do you have any better hostages?,Roberto,"To show them who's crazy, I'm gonna execute some of you. How 'bout you?"
Roberto,"To show them who's crazy, I'm gonna execute some of you. How 'bout you?",Farnsworth,Ouch! That's going to bleed when my heart beats.
Farnsworth,Ouch! That's going to bleed when my heart beats.,Leela,Wait! Take me first!
Leela,Wait! Take me first!,Bender,Yes! Take her first.
Bender,Yes! Take her first.,Roberto,Shut up! Stop telling me how to do this!
Roberto,Shut up! Stop telling me how to do this!,Zoidberg,"Oh, the fear!"
Zoidberg,"Oh, the fear!",Roberto,I'm thinking of a number between one and ten. Guess it and you die first. Go!
Roberto,I'm thinking of a number between one and ten. Guess it and you die first. Go!,Bender,Um ... OK. Fifty ... six ... ish?
Bender,Um ... OK. Fifty ... six ... ish?,Roberto?,"Oh, man! Now that's all I can think about! I'm gonna kill you, you ... no good ... 56-ing--"
Roberto?,"Oh, man! Now that's all I can think about! I'm gonna kill you, you ... no good ... 56-ing--",Bender,Don't kill me yet! I'm starting to come down with Stockholm Syndrome ... handsome!
Bender,Don't kill me yet! I'm starting to come down with Stockholm Syndrome ... handsome!,Fry,"Halt, fellow robot!"
Fry,"Halt, fellow robot!",Roberto,"Hey, Red. You're just in time to join the hostage situation. Which side you wanna be on?"
Roberto,"Hey, Red. You're just in time to join the hostage situation. Which side you wanna be on?",Fry,"The side that kicks your twisted, metal ass!"
Fry,"The side that kicks your twisted, metal ass!",Leela,Fry! Stay back. He's too powerful.
Leela,Fry! Stay back. He's too powerful.,Fry,"Negative, bossy meat creature. I know now what my primary function is: I am a battle-droid. Sworn to protect the weak from crazy robots."
Fry,"Negative, bossy meat creature. I know now what my primary function is: I am a battle-droid. Sworn to protect the weak from crazy robots.",Roberto,I'm not crazy! Don't call me crazy! I'm just not user-friendly!
Roberto,I'm not crazy! Don't call me crazy! I'm just not user-friendly!,Hermes,Fry! Don't be a hero! It's not covered by the health plan!
Hermes,Fry! Don't be a hero! It's not covered by the health plan!,Roberto,Let's see how much of a robot you really are!
Roberto,Let's see how much of a robot you really are!,Fry,No knife can penetrate my skin-tanium armour.
Fry,No knife can penetrate my skin-tanium armour.,Roberto,"a battle-droid! Somebody help me! Mommy! I'm sorry I spilled the transmission fluid, Mommy! No! No! Don't weld me to the wall, Mommy!"
Roberto,"a battle-droid! Somebody help me! Mommy! I'm sorry I spilled the transmission fluid, Mommy! No! No! Don't weld me to the wall, Mommy!",Smitty,We're willing to listen to your demands.
Smitty,We're willing to listen to your demands.,URL,"Hey, baby. Wash that off before you put it back."
URL,"Hey, baby. Wash that off before you put it back.",Hermes,Who's brave now?
Hermes,Who's brave now?,Amy,Hooray!
Amy,Hooray!,Zoidberg,Bravo!
Zoidberg,Bravo!,Leela,"You did it, Fry."
Leela,"You did it, Fry.",Bender,"Congratulations, buddy. You're a credit to my race."
Bender,"Congratulations, buddy. You're a credit to my race.",Fry,"Blood? Robots don't have blood. I must be a, a--"
Fry,"Blood? Robots don't have blood. I must be a, a--",Zoidberg,A squid?
Zoidberg,A squid?,Fry,"A human! Oh, my God! I'm a human!"
Fry,"A human! Oh, my God! I'm a human!",Zoidberg,Also good.
Zoidberg,Also good.,Leela,"Thanks for saving us, Fry."
Leela,"Thanks for saving us, Fry.",Fry,I'm gonna continue never washing this cheek again.
Fry,I'm gonna continue never washing this cheek again.,Bender,"Buddy, you may be wrapped in greasy skin, but inside, you've got the heart of a robot."
Bender,"Buddy, you may be wrapped in greasy skin, but inside, you've got the heart of a robot.",Fry,"Aw. Thanks, Bender."
Fry,"Aw. Thanks, Bender.",Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Bender,"Ah, beer! So many choices, and it makes so little difference."
Bender,"Ah, beer! So many choices, and it makes so little difference.",Fry,How 'bout Löbrau? It has dots on it.
Fry,How 'bout Löbrau? It has dots on it.,Bender,Overruled. The choice of champions is Pabst Blue Robot!
Bender,Overruled. The choice of champions is Pabst Blue Robot!,Fry,I can't drink that! The metal shavings make my throat bloody.
Fry,I can't drink that! The metal shavings make my throat bloody.,Bender,Baby wants a Zima!
Bender,Baby wants a Zima!,Leela,"Hey, hey! We can all fight when we're drunk. Now, listen, why don't we just brew our own beer?"
Leela,"Hey, hey! We can all fight when we're drunk. Now, listen, why don't we just brew our own beer?",Bender,You can brew your own beer?
Bender,You can brew your own beer?,Leela,Sure. The kids at the orphanarium used to do it all the time.
Leela,Sure. The kids at the orphanarium used to do it all the time.,Hermes,"Cursed bacteria of Liberia. My own son, suspended from boarding school."
Hermes,"Cursed bacteria of Liberia. My own son, suspended from boarding school.",Dwight,"It's not my fault, Dad."
Dwight,"It's not my fault, Dad.",Farnsworth,"And you, Cubert! I cloned you from one of my warts and I can send you straight back in there."
Farnsworth,"And you, Cubert! I cloned you from one of my warts and I can send you straight back in there.",Cubert,Nuh-uh!
Cubert,Nuh-uh!,Zoidberg,What's going on? Is this angry yelling or busted-hearing-aid yelling?
Zoidberg,What's going on? Is this angry yelling or busted-hearing-aid yelling?,Hermes,I'm afraid it's both.
Hermes,I'm afraid it's both.,Farnsworth,What?
Farnsworth,What?,LaBarbara,"Now hold on. Everyone, cool your daiquiris! Let's give the little vermin a chance to explain themselves."
LaBarbara,"Now hold on. Everyone, cool your daiquiris! Let's give the little vermin a chance to explain themselves.",Dwight,We were in science class and we had just finished building a miniature black hole.
Dwight,We were in science class and we had just finished building a miniature black hole.,Cubert,That was easy.
Cubert,That was easy.,Bret,Pretty scrawny black hole. It must be hungry.
Bret,Pretty scrawny black hole. It must be hungry.,Cubert,Duh! Black holes don't need food.
Cubert,Duh! Black holes don't need food.,Bret,Neither do nerds!
Bret,Neither do nerds!,Dwight,My Manwich!
Dwight,My Manwich!,Cubert,"time! Salt him, Dwight!"
Cubert,"time! Salt him, Dwight!",Bret,"When I re-solidify, I'm gonna put you in a world of goop!"
Bret,"When I re-solidify, I'm gonna put you in a world of goop!",Cubert,See? That bully started it. We couldn't fight back with brawn so we used our brains!
Cubert,See? That bully started it. We couldn't fight back with brawn so we used our brains!,Farnsworth,I've warned you not to use those things!
Farnsworth,I've warned you not to use those things!,Leela,"Let's see. We've got our malt, our hops. We just need a big disposable tub to mix it in."
Leela,"Let's see. We've got our malt, our hops. We just need a big disposable tub to mix it in.",Bender,Yo!
Bender,Yo!,Leela,Now it needs to boil for a couple hours.
Leela,Now it needs to boil for a couple hours.,Hermes,"Dwight, you remember the crew."
Hermes,"Dwight, you remember the crew.",Dwight,Eh.
Dwight,Eh.,Farnsworth,Wonderful! Then I'm sure you won't mind being their legal guardians for a month!
Farnsworth,Wonderful! Then I'm sure you won't mind being their legal guardians for a month!,Bender,We're making beer. I'm the brewery.
Bender,We're making beer. I'm the brewery.,Dwight,I heard alcohol makes you stupid.
Dwight,I heard alcohol makes you stupid.,Fry,No I'm ... doesn't.
Fry,No I'm ... doesn't.,Leela,"Actually, Dwight, you're right. Alcohol is very, very bad ... for children. But once you turn 21 it becomes very, very good. So scram!"
Leela,"Actually, Dwight, you're right. Alcohol is very, very bad ... for children. But once you turn 21 it becomes very, very good. So scram!",Dwight,"Aw, man!"
Dwight,"Aw, man!",Cubert,I'm sick of this.
Cubert,I'm sick of this.,Cubert,"Hey, Dad. What useless contraption are you half-baking today?"
Cubert,"Hey, Dad. What useless contraption are you half-baking today?",Farnsworth,"Eh, wha? Oh! This is my latest invention; a device that lets anyone sound exactly like me!"
Farnsworth,"Eh, wha? Oh! This is my latest invention; a device that lets anyone sound exactly like me!",Cubert,"Good news, everyone! I'm a horse's butt!"
Cubert,"Good news, everyone! I'm a horse's butt!",Farnsworth,"I am? That's not good news at all, you little--"
Farnsworth,"I am? That's not good news at all, you little--",Dwight,What's this devices marketability? Who's the target consumer?
Dwight,What's this devices marketability? Who's the target consumer?,Farnsworth,"Now quit pestering me, you scoundrels!"
Farnsworth,"Now quit pestering me, you scoundrels!",Hermes,"Stamp it, file it. Oh, yeah! Send it overnight!"
Hermes,"Stamp it, file it. Oh, yeah! Send it overnight!",Dwight,Can I collate that?
Dwight,Can I collate that?,Hermes,No!
Hermes,No!,Cubert,Can I shred these contracts?
Cubert,Can I shred these contracts?,Hermes,No!
Hermes,No!,Dwight,Wow! A power-stamper!
Dwight,Wow! A power-stamper!,Hermes,Ow!
Hermes,Ow!,Leela,Mmm. The ingredients are cooked. And they've picked up some of your natural robot flavourings. Time to add the yeast.
Leela,Mmm. The ingredients are cooked. And they've picked up some of your natural robot flavourings. Time to add the yeast.,Bender,It's so beautiful.
Bender,It's so beautiful.,Leela,Talk to me.
Leela,Talk to me.,Farnsworth,"This is Professor Farnsworth. I have an important delivery for you and your dumb crew. You must deliver a pizza to Dogdoo 8, a planet at the edge of the universe."
Farnsworth,"This is Professor Farnsworth. I have an important delivery for you and your dumb crew. You must deliver a pizza to Dogdoo 8, a planet at the edge of the universe.",Cubert,"Sorry I can't come down to say goodbye, but I'm busy inventing useless junk."
Cubert,"Sorry I can't come down to say goodbye, but I'm busy inventing useless junk.",Dwight,And I smell bad.
Dwight,And I smell bad.,Cubert,Hey!
Cubert,Hey!,Leela,"If you were my kids, you'd get quite a talking to ... from your father ... when he got home from the Senate."
Leela,"If you were my kids, you'd get quite a talking to ... from your father ... when he got home from the Senate.",Farnsworth,"Oh, bother! What have they done now?"
Farnsworth,"Oh, bother! What have they done now?",Bender,Those pork dumplings sent us on a fake pizza delivery.
Bender,Those pork dumplings sent us on a fake pizza delivery.,Fry,The address was on Dogdoo 8 but the universe ends right after Dogdoo 7.
Fry,The address was on Dogdoo 8 but the universe ends right after Dogdoo 7.,Hermes,"Child man, is this true?"
Hermes,"Child man, is this true?",Dwight,"Yeah, but why are you mad at us? Your dummy brigade wasted a week on an obviously fake mission."
Dwight,"Yeah, but why are you mad at us? Your dummy brigade wasted a week on an obviously fake mission.",Cubert,"Plus, they're making bootleg beer inside company property!"
Cubert,"Plus, they're making bootleg beer inside company property!",Bender,Lies! Lies and slander!
Bender,Lies! Lies and slander!,Farnsworth,Accusing gentle Bender of a misdeed? That's the last straw! You boys have been underfoot long enough!
Farnsworth,Accusing gentle Bender of a misdeed? That's the last straw! You boys have been underfoot long enough!,Hermes,You jerked the words right outta my mouth. We're their fathers and it's high times we acted like it.
Hermes,You jerked the words right outta my mouth. We're their fathers and it's high times we acted like it.,Bender,Ooh-hoo! Here comes violence!
Bender,Ooh-hoo! Here comes violence!,Hermes,"Get a job, you lazy kids!"
Hermes,"Get a job, you lazy kids!",Bender,... you have to do it yourself.
Bender,... you have to do it yourself.,Cubert,"Come on, Dad, shuffle faster!"
Cubert,"Come on, Dad, shuffle faster!",Dwight,"You don't wanna miss the unveiling of our new company, do you?"
Dwight,"You don't wanna miss the unveiling of our new company, do you?",Hermes,How cute! What will you be pedalling? Lemonade? Shoe shines? Cootie insurance?
Hermes,How cute! What will you be pedalling? Lemonade? Shoe shines? Cootie insurance?,Farnsworth,Perhaps they've constructed a teddy bear hospital!
Farnsworth,Perhaps they've constructed a teddy bear hospital!,Cubert,"Actually, we're starting a competing delivery company."
Cubert,"Actually, we're starting a competing delivery company.",Hermes,Welcome to the world of business!
Hermes,Welcome to the world of business!,Farnsworth,"Who's going to use a delivery service with a kicked sign? Nobody, that's who!"
Farnsworth,"Who's going to use a delivery service with a kicked sign? Nobody, that's who!",Hermes,"So your delivery company is just a cute, harmless paper route?"
Hermes,"So your delivery company is just a cute, harmless paper route?",Farnsworth,Phew!
Farnsworth,Phew!,Dwight,No! It's a serious business.
Dwight,No! It's a serious business.,Farnsworth,What if a paper were to land in a puddle?
Farnsworth,What if a paper were to land in a puddle?,Hermes,Civilisation as we know it might get splashed!
Hermes,Civilisation as we know it might get splashed!,Dwight,Why do they always treat us like dumb kids? We're practically old enough to find the Fox Network infantile!
Dwight,Why do they always treat us like dumb kids? We're practically old enough to find the Fox Network infantile!,Cubert!,You got a quarter?
Cubert!,You got a quarter?,Dwight,"Man, the ad said to allow four to six seconds for delivery."
Dwight,"Man, the ad said to allow four to six seconds for delivery.",Cubert,More like seven!
Cubert,More like seven!,Bender,I'm really starting to swell up with beer. I must look ridiculous.
Bender,I'm really starting to swell up with beer. I must look ridiculous.,Fry,"No, you have a healthy glow."
Fry,"No, you have a healthy glow.",Bender,"Oh, my God! I just felt it ferment!"
Bender,"Oh, my God! I just felt it ferment!",Leela,Have you thought about what to name it?
Leela,Have you thought about what to name it?,Bender,"I was thinking Benderbrau if it's an ale, Botweiser if it's a lager."
Bender,"I was thinking Benderbrau if it's an ale, Botweiser if it's a lager.",Fry,"Ooh, I felt that one!"
Fry,"Ooh, I felt that one!",Cubert,"Uh, there's a crack in the hull here. That could cause explosive decompression."
Cubert,"Uh, there's a crack in the hull here. That could cause explosive decompression.",Dwight,Put a sticker on it.
Dwight,Put a sticker on it.,Hermes,"Remember we used to call you that, huh? Tinkler?"
Hermes,"Remember we used to call you that, huh? Tinkler?",Sal,Gets movin'! Those newspapers won'ts deliver themselveses! Only the Sunday edition can dos that.
Sal,Gets movin'! Those newspapers won'ts deliver themselveses! Only the Sunday edition can dos that.,Farnsworth,"Goodness, there must be 50 papers in that bundle! That's a big number, 50."
Farnsworth,"Goodness, there must be 50 papers in that bundle! That's a big number, 50.",Cubert,"Yeah, if you're an idiot!"
Cubert,"Yeah, if you're an idiot!",Dwight,"Three, two, one."
Dwight,"Three, two, one.",Cubert,All systems go.
Cubert,All systems go.,Dwight,Blast-off!
Dwight,Blast-off!,Hermes,See you at din-din!
Hermes,See you at din-din!,Farnsworth,I'm blowing you a kiss.
Farnsworth,I'm blowing you a kiss.,Cubert,Take evasive action!
Cubert,Take evasive action!,Farnsworth,It's closing in! You can't avoid it! It's a cheek-seeker. And ... gotcha!
Farnsworth,It's closing in! You can't avoid it! It's a cheek-seeker. And ... gotcha!,Cubert,Nooo!
Cubert,Nooo!,Hermes,"Business is down, so I filed papers to have you all reclassified as slaves."
Hermes,"Business is down, so I filed papers to have you all reclassified as slaves.",Farnsworth,"Well, well. If it isn't our little munchkin moguls!"
Farnsworth,"Well, well. If it isn't our little munchkin moguls!",Hermes,"What's the trouble, men? Need some penny rolls for your profits?"
Hermes,"What's the trouble, men? Need some penny rolls for your profits?",Cubert,... our paper route now has over a million customers!
Cubert,... our paper route now has over a million customers!,Dwight,"We're finally making more money than you guys! Aren't you impressed now, Pops? Aren'tcha? Aren'tcha?"
Dwight,"We're finally making more money than you guys! Aren't you impressed now, Pops? Aren'tcha? Aren'tcha?",Hermes,"Uh, in a small way, yes. But you still don't have your own building or conference table or ... or one of those things!"
Hermes,"Uh, in a small way, yes. But you still don't have your own building or conference table or ... or one of those things!",Zoidberg,Hello!
Zoidberg,Hello!,Dwight,"Our dads are never impressed, no matter what we do."
Dwight,"Our dads are never impressed, no matter what we do.",Cubert,Maybe we should start a fire.
Cubert,Maybe we should start a fire.,Dwight,If we really wanna impress them we'll have to crush them with strategy ... Dwight Lightning!
Dwight,If we really wanna impress them we'll have to crush them with strategy ... Dwight Lightning!,Cubert,Very well. But I get to name the next strategy.
Cubert,Very well. But I get to name the next strategy.,Man,I'm burning to death!
Man,I'm burning to death!,Leela,on the Sun?
Leela,on the Sun?,Hermes,"People, as you know, our young sons have become great successes in the very same field as us."
Hermes,"People, as you know, our young sons have become great successes in the very same field as us.",Bender,Alright!
Bender,Alright!,Fry,That's great!
Fry,That's great!,Leela,That's good!
Leela,That's good!,Hermes,"Naturally, we're humiliated."
Hermes,"Naturally, we're humiliated.",Farnsworth,"That's why we need you, our loyal crew, to make Planet Express 800% more profitable."
Farnsworth,"That's why we need you, our loyal crew, to make Planet Express 800% more profitable.",Hermes,slashing.
Hermes,slashing.,Leela,"Uh, guys, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'll just let Fry blurt it out thoughtlessly."
Leela,"Uh, guys, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'll just let Fry blurt it out thoughtlessly.",Fry,We don't work for you anymore!
Fry,We don't work for you anymore!,Farnsworth,What?
Farnsworth,What?,Leela,Dwight and Cubert made us a better offer. We're paperboys now.
Leela,Dwight and Cubert made us a better offer. We're paperboys now.,Cubert,"Incoming! We got papers to stuff, team! Hup two, hup two!"
Cubert,"Incoming! We got papers to stuff, team! Hup two, hup two!",Fry,"Yes, sir."
Fry,"Yes, sir.",Bender,Right away!
Bender,Right away!,Leela,"We're on it, Mr. Farnsworth."
Leela,"We're on it, Mr. Farnsworth.",Farnsworth,"Folks, the situation is grim but we shall prevail, thanks to you, our crack team of loyal dregs!"
Farnsworth,"Folks, the situation is grim but we shall prevail, thanks to you, our crack team of loyal dregs!",Hermes,I don't even know who this guy is!
Hermes,I don't even know who this guy is!,Scruffy,"I'm Scruffy, the janitor."
Scruffy,"I'm Scruffy, the janitor.",Farnsworth,"Yes, of course you are. Now we've got to buckle down and save Planet Express."
Farnsworth,"Yes, of course you are. Now we've got to buckle down and save Planet Express.",Scruffy,I'm on break.
Scruffy,I'm on break.,Cubert,but we have an announcement.
Cubert,but we have an announcement.,Dwight,"I direct your attention to these forms, which I'm presently engaged in handing to you."
Dwight,"I direct your attention to these forms, which I'm presently engaged in handing to you.",Hermes,Sweet guinea pig of Winnipeg! They've taken over our company!
Hermes,Sweet guinea pig of Winnipeg! They've taken over our company!,Farnsworth,Balderdash! I never agreed to that!
Farnsworth,Balderdash! I never agreed to that!,Dwight,three years ago as a tax dodge.
Dwight,three years ago as a tax dodge.,Farnsworth,"Tax dodge, nothing! You take one nap in a ditch at the park and they start declaring you this and that."
Farnsworth,"Tax dodge, nothing! You take one nap in a ditch at the park and they start declaring you this and that.",Cubert,... Awesome Express!
Cubert,... Awesome Express!,Hermes,Will you be hiring?
Hermes,Will you be hiring?,Dwight,No.
Dwight,No.,Hermes,You rotten kids!
Hermes,You rotten kids!,Fry,"There. One million papers, folded and loaded!"
Fry,"There. One million papers, folded and loaded!",Cubert,"Hey, Leela, help me apply these flame decals I got in my cereal. They'll make the ship go faster."
Cubert,"Hey, Leela, help me apply these flame decals I got in my cereal. They'll make the ship go faster.",Leela,And what's your scientific basis for thinking that?
Leela,And what's your scientific basis for thinking that?,Cubert,I'm 12.
Cubert,I'm 12.,Farnsworth,"Oh, did I ever tell you how I used to own that ship?"
Farnsworth,"Oh, did I ever tell you how I used to own that ship?",Zoidberg,There but for the grace of God.
Zoidberg,There but for the grace of God.,Bender,"(talking) Oh, my God! I think it's time!"
Bender,"(talking) Oh, my God! I think it's time!",Fry,"Hurry, Leela! Get some coasters and cold mugs."
Fry,"Hurry, Leela! Get some coasters and cold mugs.",Fry,"Push, Bender, push!"
Fry,"Push, Bender, push!",Leela,You're doing great!
Leela,You're doing great!,Bender,It feels like I'm trying to push a water bed outta me.
Bender,It feels like I'm trying to push a water bed outta me.,Fry,Almost there. Just two more bottles.
Fry,Almost there. Just two more bottles.,Bender,Is it OK? I can't hear anything.
Bender,Is it OK? I can't hear anything.,Fry,"It's an ale! Five gallons, six ounces!"
Fry,"It's an ale! Five gallons, six ounces!",Cubert,"We just busted our bums delivering a million papers and this is how you greet us, with a bunch of frosty, cold beers?"
Cubert,"We just busted our bums delivering a million papers and this is how you greet us, with a bunch of frosty, cold beers?",Fry,"Hey, wait a second. How did you deliver a million papers in one hour?"
Fry,"Hey, wait a second. How did you deliver a million papers in one hour?",Cubert,"Uh ... we just did, OK? 'Cause we're awesome! Yeah! Awesome."
Cubert,"Uh ... we just did, OK? 'Cause we're awesome! Yeah! Awesome.",Dwight,"Yeah, awesome!"
Dwight,"Yeah, awesome!",Leela,long?
Leela,long?,Farnsworth,Please?
Farnsworth,Please?,LaBarbara,"Don't you sweet talk me, you wrinkly, old tube sack!"
LaBarbara,"Don't you sweet talk me, you wrinkly, old tube sack!",Hermes,"Might I have one too, wife?"
Hermes,"Might I have one too, wife?",LaBarbara,"Oh, you're both pathetic, being jealous of your own offspring. Now you should be happy they became successes, instead of following in your foot stamps."
LaBarbara,"Oh, you're both pathetic, being jealous of your own offspring. Now you should be happy they became successes, instead of following in your foot stamps.",Hermes,"Oh, it's true. But they grow up so fast. We just wanted a few more years of being better than them."
Hermes,"Oh, it's true. But they grow up so fast. We just wanted a few more years of being better than them.",Farnsworth,"They're so stinking talented, they don't even need their fathers anymore."
Farnsworth,"They're so stinking talented, they don't even need their fathers anymore.",Cubert,Dad! We screwed up!
Cubert,Dad! We screwed up!,Farnsworth,"You did? Tough luck, suckers!"
Farnsworth,"You did? Tough luck, suckers!",Dwight,"Please, help us, Pops. We agreed to deliver way more papers than we can handle."
Dwight,"Please, help us, Pops. We agreed to deliver way more papers than we can handle.",Cubert,"But we couldn't handle them, so we started dumping the extras in a crater on the Moon."
Cubert,"But we couldn't handle them, so we started dumping the extras in a crater on the Moon.",Dwight,And now everyone's yelling at us about our missing papers!
Dwight,And now everyone's yelling at us about our missing papers!,Cubert,And we don't know what to do!
Cubert,And we don't know what to do!,Farnsworth,Why did you boys do all this?
Farnsworth,Why did you boys do all this?,Dwight,We just wanted you to be proud of us.
Dwight,We just wanted you to be proud of us.,Hermes,of you? You ruined us with sleazy business practices and a complete disregard for human decency. Of course we're proud of you!
Hermes,of you? You ruined us with sleazy business practices and a complete disregard for human decency. Of course we're proud of you!,Farnsworth,"Damn right we are! Now come on, let's go do a little father-son weaselling out of this."
Farnsworth,"Damn right we are! Now come on, let's go do a little father-son weaselling out of this.",Farnsworth,Good thing I had this net installed for catching giraffes.
Farnsworth,Good thing I had this net installed for catching giraffes.,Hermes,does it.
Hermes,does it.,Little,Prince!
Little,Prince!,Dwight,"Can I use the gun, Dad?"
Dwight,"Can I use the gun, Dad?",Hermes,"Aw, what kind of father would I be if I said no?"
Hermes,"Aw, what kind of father would I be if I said no?",Dwight,"Run away! That bully, Bret Blob, lives there!"
Dwight,"Run away! That bully, Bret Blob, lives there!",Cubert,He's ugly mean stupid stink mucus! And last week we sort of ... broke his window.
Cubert,He's ugly mean stupid stink mucus! And last week we sort of ... broke his window.,Hermes,"Alright, alright. What do we do when we break somebody's window?"
Hermes,"Alright, alright. What do we do when we break somebody's window?",Dwight,Pay for it?
Dwight,Pay for it?,Hermes,"Oh, heavens, no! We apologise, with nice, cheap words!"
Hermes,"Oh, heavens, no! We apologise, with nice, cheap words!",Dwight,"Man, you're funny. Good one, Bret."
Dwight,"Man, you're funny. Good one, Bret.",Bret,Dad!
Bret,Dad!,Hermes,"Don't worry, boys. I'm sure his father is a perfectly normal, reasonable man."
Hermes,"Don't worry, boys. I'm sure his father is a perfectly normal, reasonable man.",Horrible,Gelatinous Blob: What the hell do you want?
Horrible,Gelatinous Blob: What the hell do you want?,Farnsworth,"Mr. Blob, our sons have come to apologise for damaging your window. They've learned their lesson and they want to make amends."
Farnsworth,"Mr. Blob, our sons have come to apologise for damaging your window. They've learned their lesson and they want to make amends.",Cubert,"Sorry, sir."
Cubert,"Sorry, sir.",Dwight,"Yeah, sorry."
Dwight,"Yeah, sorry.",Horrible,Gelatinous Blob: You can shove your apology into the bottom of your one-way digestive system.
Horrible,Gelatinous Blob: You can shove your apology into the bottom of your one-way digestive system.,Farnsworth,Now see here. We assured our sons that you'd accept their apology.
Farnsworth,Now see here. We assured our sons that you'd accept their apology.,Horrible,"Gelatinous Blob: Aww. Tell you what, I'll accept their apology when they kiss my ass! Which I don't have!"
Horrible,"Gelatinous Blob: Aww. Tell you what, I'll accept their apology when they kiss my ass! Which I don't have!",Farnsworth,No one gives my boy that option!
Farnsworth,No one gives my boy that option!,Hermes,"Bring it on, Jello-pop!"
Hermes,"Bring it on, Jello-pop!",Cubert,"Yeah, get him, Dad!"
Cubert,"Yeah, get him, Dad!",Dwight,Get 'em ... Pops!
Dwight,Get 'em ... Pops!,Cubert,Right.
Cubert,Right.,Cubert,That was incredible! You are the bravest dads in the entire trauma centre!
Cubert,That was incredible! You are the bravest dads in the entire trauma centre!,Dwight,You guys almost had him ... until he digested you.
Dwight,You guys almost had him ... until he digested you.,Hermes,I was wrong! I can still feel pain!
Hermes,I was wrong! I can still feel pain!,Farnsworth,He's come to finish the job! Someone toss me out the window!
Farnsworth,He's come to finish the job! Someone toss me out the window!,Horrible,"Gelatinous Blob: No, no, wait. I-I feel terrible about what happened. I-I've just been under a lot of stress lately down at the plant, y'know. They're-They're bringing in computers to improve productivity and, well, that's no excuse for how I acted. But the boy needs to see that real men solve their disagreements with words, not violence, so, uh, if you'll accept my apology, well, I hope we can put this embarrassing incident behind us."
Horrible,"Gelatinous Blob: No, no, wait. I-I feel terrible about what happened. I-I've just been under a lot of stress lately down at the plant, y'know. They're-They're bringing in computers to improve productivity and, well, that's no excuse for how I acted. But the boy needs to see that real men solve their disagreements with words, not violence, so, uh, if you'll accept my apology, well, I hope we can put this embarrassing incident behind us.",Farnsworth,I suppose.
Farnsworth,I suppose.,Bender,"Hey, chumps, I heard you were on the ass-end of an ass-kicking so I figured you could use a couple these little babies."
Bender,"Hey, chumps, I heard you were on the ass-end of an ass-kicking so I figured you could use a couple these little babies.",Hermes,"Oh, why not? Might as well live it up as long as I've got this catheter in me!"
Hermes,"Oh, why not? Might as well live it up as long as I've got this catheter in me!",Farnsworth,"Won't you join us, Mr. Blob?"
Farnsworth,"Won't you join us, Mr. Blob?",Horrible,Gelatinous Blob: Sounds like a plan!
Horrible,Gelatinous Blob: Sounds like a plan!,Hermes,This is what makes life worth clinging to; three fathers enjoying a day out with their sons.
Hermes,This is what makes life worth clinging to; three fathers enjoying a day out with their sons.,Farnsworth,"It would seem we've taught our boys a lesson about life: Man or Blob, it's what's inside that counts."
Farnsworth,"It would seem we've taught our boys a lesson about life: Man or Blob, it's what's inside that counts.",Froggy,"went a-courtin' and Bender is great, uh-huh--"
Froggy,"went a-courtin' and Bender is great, uh-huh--",Fry,There must be layers and layers of old stuff down there.
Fry,There must be layers and layers of old stuff down there.,Bender,What's that? One of those Led Zeppelins I've heard so much about?
Bender,What's that? One of those Led Zeppelins I've heard so much about?,Fry,"Hey, Mister? Mind if I take this old van?"
Fry,"Hey, Mister? Mind if I take this old van?",Sal,"Sure. You wanna dump the corpses out of theres, it's yourses."
Sal,"Sure. You wanna dump the corpses out of theres, it's yourses.",Fry,"Yeah, yeah, I've gotten used cars before."
Fry,"Yeah, yeah, I've gotten used cars before.",Leela,What's that? One of those Jefferson Starships I've heard so much about?
Leela,What's that? One of those Jefferson Starships I've heard so much about?,Fry,"It's called a van, and in light of the fact that it's not a-rockin', I invite you to come a-knockin'!"
Fry,"It's called a van, and in light of the fact that it's not a-rockin', I invite you to come a-knockin'!",Amy,"Wow, neat."
Amy,"Wow, neat.",Hermes,It's a triumph of free-spirited German engineering.
Hermes,It's a triumph of free-spirited German engineering.,Amy,"Hey, the speedometer only goes up to 80. This thing can't go faster than 80,000 miles an hour?"
Amy,"Hey, the speedometer only goes up to 80. This thing can't go faster than 80,000 miles an hour?",Fry,"No, it can't, but it's got a driver's-side floor and an 8-track player with genuine mono sound."
Fry,"No, it can't, but it's got a driver's-side floor and an 8-track player with genuine mono sound.",Farnsworth,Where's the device that lets you speed or slow the passage of time?
Farnsworth,Where's the device that lets you speed or slow the passage of time?,Fry,Under the seat.
Fry,Under the seat.,Leela,Why won't it start?
Leela,Why won't it start?,Fry,It just needs some gas.
Fry,It just needs some gas.,Farnsworth,"Wrong again, idiot. There is no gas. Petroleum reserves ran dry in 2038."
Farnsworth,"Wrong again, idiot. There is no gas. Petroleum reserves ran dry in 2038.",Leela,"Gas was an environmental disaster, anyway. Now we use alternative fuels."
Leela,"Gas was an environmental disaster, anyway. Now we use alternative fuels.",Fry,Like what?
Fry,Like what?,Leela,"Bender, lift it up to the can opener."
Leela,"Bender, lift it up to the can opener.",Bender,"Oh, no! I'm not going near it. Last time, that magnetic psycho nearly cut my head off."
Bender,"Oh, no! I'm not going near it. Last time, that magnetic psycho nearly cut my head off.",Fry,"Oh, right. Plus, the magnet screws up your inhibition unit and makes you sing folk songs."
Fry,"Oh, right. Plus, the magnet screws up your inhibition unit and makes you sing folk songs.",Bender?,Who said anything about me secretly wanting to be a folk singer? How ridiculous.
Bender?,Who said anything about me secretly wanting to be a folk singer? How ridiculous.,Fry,"Bender, if you don't open that can right now, your fear will own you, and nothing that can opener could ever do would be worse than that."
Fry,"Bender, if you don't open that can right now, your fear will own you, and nothing that can opener could ever do would be worse than that.",Bender,"OK, OK, I can do this. It's time to take life by the cans."
Bender,"OK, OK, I can do this. It's time to take life by the cans.",Leela,Come on!
Leela,Come on!,Hermes,You can do it!
Hermes,You can do it!,Amy,Bender!
Amy,Bender!,Farnsworth,"Go on, you dummy."
Farnsworth,"Go on, you dummy.",Jimmy,"cracked corn and I don't care,"
Jimmy,"cracked corn and I don't care,",Fry,"Oh, no!"
Fry,"Oh, no!",Cause,the master's gone away.
Cause,the master's gone away.,Zoidberg,It's toe-tapping-ly tragic.
Zoidberg,It's toe-tapping-ly tragic.,Bender,"Doc, I can't move my arms and legs. What's wrong with me?"
Bender,"Doc, I can't move my arms and legs. What's wrong with me?",Doctor,This is the worst part of the job.
Doctor,This is the worst part of the job.,Bender,"What is it, good news?"
Bender,"What is it, good news?",Doctor,"Bender, your hydraulics are shot. You'll never move again."
Doctor,"Bender, your hydraulics are shot. You'll never move again.",Bender,You mean--
Bender,You mean--,Doctor,"I'm sorry, you'll have to get a new one."
Doctor,"I'm sorry, you'll have to get a new one.",Fry,"Oh, no! This is terrible."
Fry,"Oh, no! This is terrible.",Zoidberg,Poor Bender.
Zoidberg,Poor Bender.,Farnsworth,"Well, let's drag him to the kerb."
Farnsworth,"Well, let's drag him to the kerb.",Fry,"Wait a minute, Bender is my best friend. We can't just dump him in the gutter like Grandma's ashes."
Fry,"Wait a minute, Bender is my best friend. We can't just dump him in the gutter like Grandma's ashes.",Bender,"Oh, my life is over. I'll never know happiness again."
Bender,"Oh, my life is over. I'll never know happiness again.",Robot,"Ho, ho! Hello there!"
Robot,"Ho, ho! Hello there!",Leela,"Look, Bender! It's Patch Cord Adams. He heals with the power of laughter."
Leela,"Look, Bender! It's Patch Cord Adams. He heals with the power of laughter.",Patch,"Cord Adams: Come on, take it. What's the matter, can't move your arms?"
Patch,"Cord Adams: Come on, take it. What's the matter, can't move your arms?",Bender,"Obviously not, or I'd be strangling you right now."
Bender,"Obviously not, or I'd be strangling you right now.",Patch,Cord Adams Did you hear why they're using Windows 3000 as a prison guard?
Patch,Cord Adams Did you hear why they're using Windows 3000 as a prison guard?,Fry,"No, why?"
Fry,"No, why?",Patch,Cord Adams: 'Cause it always locks up.
Patch,Cord Adams: 'Cause it always locks up.,Bender,"For the love of God, somebody kick his ass!"
Bender,"For the love of God, somebody kick his ass!",Patch,"Cord Adams Oh, well, so long anyway."
Patch,"Cord Adams Oh, well, so long anyway.",Bender,"Oh, I'm doomed. Everybody leave me alone. I don't wanna be seen this way."
Bender,"Oh, I'm doomed. Everybody leave me alone. I don't wanna be seen this way.",Fry,"Aw, you look so sad. You want me to send Patch Cord Adams back in?"
Fry,"Aw, you look so sad. You want me to send Patch Cord Adams back in?",Bender,"Wow, that was great."
Bender,"Wow, that was great.",Beck,"Hey, thanks. You a fan?"
Beck,"Hey, thanks. You a fan?",Bender,"Oh, my God, you're Beck! I'd get up to shake your hand and steal your wallet but my crappy body crapped out on me."
Bender,"Oh, my God, you're Beck! I'd get up to shake your hand and steal your wallet but my crappy body crapped out on me.",Beck,Don't take it so hard. I used to miss my body too but then I fished this mannequin out of the 92c Store dumpster.
Beck,Don't take it so hard. I used to miss my body too but then I fished this mannequin out of the 92c Store dumpster.,Bender,"Wow. We've sure got a lot in common, Beck. I always dreamed of being a musician-poet who transcends genres even as he re-invents them, just like you."
Bender,"Wow. We've sure got a lot in common, Beck. I always dreamed of being a musician-poet who transcends genres even as he re-invents them, just like you.",Beck,"So do it, robot. It's easier than it looks."
Beck,"So do it, robot. It's easier than it looks.",Bender,"Eh, thanks, but it's hopeless. I'll never be a musician now."
Bender,"Eh, thanks, but it's hopeless. I'll never be a musician now.",Bender,What's this for?
Bender,What's this for?,Beck,"Yeah-ee! Alright, congratulations, my friend."
Beck,"Yeah-ee! Alright, congratulations, my friend.",Bender,Why? 'Cause I can make annoying noises?
Bender,Why? 'Cause I can make annoying noises?,Beck,"Exactly. I use those all the time in my music. Bender, I want you to become my new washboard player."
Beck,"Exactly. I use those all the time in my music. Bender, I want you to become my new washboard player.",Bender,Go Bender! Go Bender! Go Bender!
Bender,Go Bender! Go Bender! Go Bender!,Bender,"Well, that's my good friend, Beck. I'm off to rock a series of mid-level venues."
Bender,"Well, that's my good friend, Beck. I'm off to rock a series of mid-level venues.",Hermes,"Kudos, Bender. You got mangled and now you're a singer. Both our dreams came true."
Hermes,"Kudos, Bender. You got mangled and now you're a singer. Both our dreams came true.",Fry,"Hey, I have an idea. Who wants to cram in my van and follow Bender on tour and live there, in the van?"
Fry,"Hey, I have an idea. Who wants to cram in my van and follow Bender on tour and live there, in the van?",Zoidberg,"Oh, I don't know, Fry. I think I'm too poor to follow a band around in a van."
Zoidberg,"Oh, I don't know, Fry. I think I'm too poor to follow a band around in a van.",Beck,"Come on, move it! We gotta get to the concert and make the audience wait for it at the start."
Beck,"Come on, move it! We gotta get to the concert and make the audience wait for it at the start.",Zoidberg,"Bad news, friends. My shell ran."
Zoidberg,"Bad news, friends. My shell ran.",Amy,"Zoidberg, you idiot, my outfit. It's, it's--"
Amy,"Zoidberg, you idiot, my outfit. It's, it's--",Leela,Kinda cool.
Leela,Kinda cool.,Fry,"Yeah, I like it."
Fry,"Yeah, I like it.",Amy,"Me too, now that I'm used to it."
Amy,"Me too, now that I'm used to it.",Just,clap your hands.
Just,clap your hands.,All,Where it's at!
All,Where it's at!,Bender,Got a washboard stomach and a microphone.
Bender,Got a washboard stomach and a microphone.,Beck,That was a washboard break.
Beck,That was a washboard break.,Fry,"Oh, yeah!"
Fry,"Oh, yeah!",Amy,"One bowl of Jell-O knuckles, please."
Amy,"One bowl of Jell-O knuckles, please.",Barman,That'll be three pick-e-tures of George Washington.
Barman,That'll be three pick-e-tures of George Washington.,Amy,"Oh, no! My beautiful money."
Amy,"Oh, no! My beautiful money.",Leela,It got ruined in the wash.
Leela,It got ruined in the wash.,Fry,"Mine too, even my change."
Fry,"Mine too, even my change.",Barman,"Get lost, you money-less hippies!"
Barman,"Get lost, you money-less hippies!",Horrible,"Gelatinous Hick: You heard him, freaks. We don't like your type around here. These are the types we like."
Horrible,"Gelatinous Hick: You heard him, freaks. We don't like your type around here. These are the types we like.",Beck,best 40-minute washboard solo I've ever heard. And the parts when I was awake blew my mind.
Beck,best 40-minute washboard solo I've ever heard. And the parts when I was awake blew my mind.,Bender,"Whoa, check out all those broken robots. Howdy, fellas!"
Bender,"Whoa, check out all those broken robots. Howdy, fellas!",Robot,"#1: I don't believe my broken eyes! It's Bender, the washboard player! Hey, man, we caught your concert from here."
Robot,"#1: I don't believe my broken eyes! It's Bender, the washboard player! Hey, man, we caught your concert from here.",Robot,#2: You rock!
Robot,#2: You rock!,Fembot,"Oh, oh, Bender! Sign my chest! It's in that bin behind me."
Fembot,"Oh, oh, Bender! Sign my chest! It's in that bin behind me.",Robot,"#3: Yo, brother, thanks for showing that broken robots are still useful."
Robot,"#3: Yo, brother, thanks for showing that broken robots are still useful.",Bender,That is so wrong. They can't just melt down broken robots. Not right when they're kissing my ass.
Bender,That is so wrong. They can't just melt down broken robots. Not right when they're kissing my ass.,"Beck,",I was feeling really-- What's that song about?
"Beck,",I was feeling really-- What's that song about?,Bender,"Hey, yeah, I could write a song! With real words, not phoney ones like odelay."
Bender,"Hey, yeah, I could write a song! With real words, not phoney ones like odelay.",Beck,a word. Just look it up in the Becktionary.
Beck,a word. Just look it up in the Becktionary.,Bender,Ooh!
Bender,Ooh!,Bender,Becktionary.
Bender,Becktionary.,Beck,I wish I could help raise awareness about broken robots. But what can I do? I only weigh eight pounds.
Beck,I wish I could help raise awareness about broken robots. But what can I do? I only weigh eight pounds.,Bender,"Wait a minute, you know lots of rock stars, and most of them like to look like they care about things!"
Bender,"Wait a minute, you know lots of rock stars, and most of them like to look like they care about things!",Beck,We can all get together for a big benefit concert in San Francisco!
Beck,We can all get together for a big benefit concert in San Francisco!,Bender,"And we could call it Bend-Aid, after me, Bender!"
Bender,"And we could call it Bend-Aid, after me, Bender!",Beck,And you can sing that song you're writing!
Beck,And you can sing that song you're writing!,Bender,And I'll let you sing backup! But remember who the star is. Me: Bender.
Bender,And I'll let you sing backup! But remember who the star is. Me: Bender.,Bender,Eck! Smells like something died in the wall!
Bender,Eck! Smells like something died in the wall!,Fry,Surprise!
Fry,Surprise!,Leela,Mind if we crash here tonight? The colours in the van are keeping us awake.
Leela,Mind if we crash here tonight? The colours in the van are keeping us awake.,Bender,"Alright, but hands off the minibar."
Bender,"Alright, but hands off the minibar.",Fry,"Wow, I forgot about TV. Living free on the road, you realise how much better life is without it. Well, let's see what's on."
Fry,"Wow, I forgot about TV. Living free on the road, you realise how much better life is without it. Well, let's see what's on.",Announcer,"#1: Tuesday, Golden Gate Park, the monsters of vaguely-folkish alterna-rock will strum your brains out at Bend-Aid! Featuring Beck, Wailing Fungus and special guest, Bender!"
Announcer,"#1: Tuesday, Golden Gate Park, the monsters of vaguely-folkish alterna-rock will strum your brains out at Bend-Aid! Featuring Beck, Wailing Fungus and special guest, Bender!",Announcer,#2: A portion of the proceeds might go to help broken robots.
Announcer,#2: A portion of the proceeds might go to help broken robots.,Fry,Yeah!
Fry,Yeah!,Zoidberg,"Hooray, robot!"
Zoidberg,"Hooray, robot!",Amy,"Bender, you're famous!"
Amy,"Bender, you're famous!",Bender,Yeah.
Bender,Yeah.,Leela,"This coming-together of superstars really means a lot to you, doesn't it, Bender?"
Leela,"This coming-together of superstars really means a lot to you, doesn't it, Bender?",Bender,"That's why I'll be proud to go up on stage tomorrow and say, Look at me, world, I am a broken robot!."
Bender,"That's why I'll be proud to go up on stage tomorrow and say, Look at me, world, I am a broken robot!.",Fry,"Bender, you can move! You're cured!"
Fry,"Bender, you can move! You're cured!",Bender,"Oh, crap! It's a miracle!"
Bender,"Oh, crap! It's a miracle!",Bender,My music career is over.
Bender,My music career is over.,Fry,your music career?
Fry,your music career?,Bender,"Wait, that's it! I'll fake it!"
Bender,"Wait, that's it! I'll fake it!",Amy,You'd better not do that at the concert.
Amy,You'd better not do that at the concert.,Zoidberg,"I can't stop. When I eat too much dirt, I get stuff in my throat."
Zoidberg,"I can't stop. When I eat too much dirt, I get stuff in my throat.",Amy,"You are so disgusting, I--"
Amy,"You are so disgusting, I--",Leela,They're beautiful.
Leela,They're beautiful.,Zoidberg,"Ew, you're touching them!"
Zoidberg,"Ew, you're touching them!",Amy,"I've never seen pearls like this. Dr. Zoidberg, you're amazing."
Amy,"I've never seen pearls like this. Dr. Zoidberg, you're amazing.",Zoidberg,I am? At last! Recognition!
Zoidberg,I am? At last! Recognition!,Emcee,"Gentle hippies, put your filthy hands together for the folk stylings of Cylon and Garfunkel!"
Emcee,"Gentle hippies, put your filthy hands together for the folk stylings of Cylon and Garfunkel!",(singing),Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
(singing),Are you going to Scarborough Fair?,Cylon,"Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme."
Cylon,"Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.",Garfunkel,Remember me to one who loves there.
Garfunkel,Remember me to one who loves there.,Cylon,She once was a true love of mine.
Cylon,She once was a true love of mine.,Leela,We're home.
Leela,We're home.,Amy,"Well, let's earn some bread."
Amy,"Well, let's earn some bread.",Fry,"Brothers and sisters, get your love beads. Can't journey to the centre of your mind without love beads!"
Fry,"Brothers and sisters, get your love beads. Can't journey to the centre of your mind without love beads!",Hippie,"#1: Wow, look at the colours. These'll go great with my soul."
Hippie,"#1: Wow, look at the colours. These'll go great with my soul.",Zoidberg,"Glad you like them. I've been making fine jewellery for years, apparently."
Zoidberg,"Glad you like them. I've been making fine jewellery for years, apparently.",Hippie,#2: I'll take three.
Hippie,#2: I'll take three.,Hippie,"#3: Give me one, man!"
Hippie,"#3: Give me one, man!",Hippie,#4: I'll trade you a bad poem!
Hippie,#4: I'll trade you a bad poem!,Emcee,"And now, stand up and turn on your hidden tape recorders for ... Beck! With special guest, Bender, the broken robot."
Emcee,"And now, stand up and turn on your hidden tape recorders for ... Beck! With special guest, Bender, the broken robot.",Fry,Bender rules!
Fry,Bender rules!,Hippie,"#5: Groove on, man!"
Hippie,"#5: Groove on, man!",Leela,"Rock it, Bender!"
Leela,"Rock it, Bender!",Zoidberg,Play that thing!
Zoidberg,Play that thing!,Hijacking,your equilibrium...
Hijacking,your equilibrium...,Bender,"Whoa-oh, yeah!"
Bender,"Whoa-oh, yeah!",Beck,"...Midnight hags in the mausoleum,"
Beck,"...Midnight hags in the mausoleum,",Beck,"Thank you. That song doesn't usually last three hours, but we got into a serious thing ... and then I forgot how it ended. Anyway, one last item of business before we go."
Beck,"Thank you. That song doesn't usually last three hours, but we got into a serious thing ... and then I forgot how it ended. Anyway, one last item of business before we go.",Garfunkel,"Bender, to start your foundation for broken robots, here's a big, cardboard cheque for $14,000."
Garfunkel,"Bender, to start your foundation for broken robots, here's a big, cardboard cheque for $14,000.",Cylon,It's been an emotional day for me.
Cylon,It's been an emotional day for me.,Bender,I don't know what to say.
Bender,I don't know what to say.,Beck,"Then maybe you should sing it. Lay it down, boys."
Beck,"Then maybe you should sing it. Lay it down, boys.",There's,"lots of things my mangled robot friend could be,"
There's,"lots of things my mangled robot friend could be,",Beck,Kick it!
Beck,Kick it!,Bender,He could make a good...
Bender,He could make a good...,Bender,...hat-rack
Bender,...hat-rack,Beck,"He only has to stand there,"
Beck,"He only has to stand there,",Bender,Or a cheap...
Bender,Or a cheap...,Bender,"...doorstop,"
Bender,"...doorstop,",Beck,He doesn't need to move
Beck,He doesn't need to move,Bender,Or a great big...
Bender,Or a great big...,Bender,"...giant Thermos,"
Bender,"...giant Thermos,",Bender,"With a twist-off top,"
Bender,"With a twist-off top,",Beck,"That would be good for soup,"
Beck,"That would be good for soup,",Bender,He could be a storage closet...
Bender,He could be a storage closet...,Bender,"...for outdated pants,"
Bender,"...for outdated pants,",Beck,I like 'em tight!
Beck,I like 'em tight!,Bender,"My broken friend could do it all,"
Bender,"My broken friend could do it all,",Bender,Just give him a chance!
Bender,Just give him a chance!,That,I'd like to share...
That,I'd like to share...,Beck,For real?
Beck,For real?,Than,an ass to a chair...
Than,an ass to a chair...,Beck,Hm.
Beck,Hm.,Bender,...That robot's name I never told you...
Bender,...That robot's name I never told you...,Beck,Who's that?
Beck,Who's that?,Bender,...You could not foresee...
Bender,...You could not foresee...,Beck,"C'mon, give it up."
Beck,"C'mon, give it up.",Bender,...I'll say it loud and sing it proud...
Bender,...I'll say it loud and sing it proud...,Bender,His name is you and me.
Bender,His name is you and me.,Bender,"Don't melt me down into a crowbar,"
Bender,"Don't melt me down into a crowbar,",Beck,"It suffers alone,"
Beck,"It suffers alone,",Bender,"Just 'cause I can't move my arms and legs,"
Bender,"Just 'cause I can't move my arms and legs,",Beck,Hey.
Beck,Hey.,Bender,Or toss me into a trash can...
Bender,Or toss me into a trash can...,Beck,"Bender, what are you doing?"
Beck,"Bender, what are you doing?",Bender,...Just 'cause I can't cook you ham and eggs...
Bender,...Just 'cause I can't cook you ham and eggs...,Beck,What are you doing?
Beck,What are you doing?,Bender,...Don't crush me into an anchor...
Bender,...Don't crush me into an anchor...,Beck,Yo! What's the dealy-o?
Beck,Yo! What's the dealy-o?,Bender,...Just 'cause I can't jump and dance and sing...
Bender,...Just 'cause I can't jump and dance and sing...,Beck,Hold it! What? No!
Beck,Hold it! What? No!,Bender,"...I'm telling you, my broken friend..."
Bender,"...I'm telling you, my broken friend...",Beck,B-Bender.
Beck,B-Bender.,Bender,...Put your hands in the air like you just don't care!
Bender,...Put your hands in the air like you just don't care!,Beck,No!
Beck,No!,Bender,"I'm telling you, my broken friend..."
Bender,"I'm telling you, my broken friend...",Beck,Cut it!
Beck,Cut it!,Bender,...Can do 'most anything!
Bender,...Can do 'most anything!,Beck,Cut it!
Beck,Cut it!,Bender,Yeah!
Bender,Yeah!,Beck,Cut it!
Beck,Cut it!,Bender,Curse my natural showmanship!
Bender,Curse my natural showmanship!,Robot,"#4: You big, fat fraud! You're not really broken!"
Robot,"#4: You big, fat fraud! You're not really broken!",Robot,#5: But you will be in a minute! Bum-rush the stage!
Robot,#5: But you will be in a minute! Bum-rush the stage!,Robot,#6: Get him!
Robot,#6: Get him!,Hippie,"#6: Oh, harsh! I didn't get my beads."
Hippie,"#6: Oh, harsh! I didn't get my beads.",Beck,After him!
Beck,After him!,Bender,"Well, everyone, prepare to get your guts kicked out by folk singers."
Bender,"Well, everyone, prepare to get your guts kicked out by folk singers.",Caterpillar,Alien: What is this? The Year of the Jerk?
Caterpillar,Alien: What is this? The Year of the Jerk?,Fry,Hurry! The Golden Gate Bridge! Put the metal to the pedal to the other metal.
Fry,Hurry! The Golden Gate Bridge! Put the metal to the pedal to the other metal.,Bender,"Oh, no! I forgot this is a hoverbridge."
Bender,"Oh, no! I forgot this is a hoverbridge.",Leela,And I forgot this isn't a hovercar.
Leela,And I forgot this isn't a hovercar.,Fry,Is any of that a problem?
Fry,Is any of that a problem?,Zoidberg,Not if you've lived a life without regret.
Zoidberg,Not if you've lived a life without regret.,Bender,I'll save me!
Bender,I'll save me!,Leela,"Quick, grab his footcups."
Leela,"Quick, grab his footcups.",Bender,Hey? What? No.
Bender,Hey? What? No.,Fry,Phew!
Fry,Phew!,Leela,Bummer.
Leela,Bummer.,Bender,I'm broken again. I can't move any part of me.
Bender,I'm broken again. I can't move any part of me.,Beck,Good.
Beck,Good.,Bender,"I'm really sorry I lied, Beck. All I ever wanted was to make music with you. I never meant to hurt anyone, or help anyone."
Bender,"I'm really sorry I lied, Beck. All I ever wanted was to make music with you. I never meant to hurt anyone, or help anyone.",Beck,"Bender, that's some played-out, new-jack, horse crap-- But I know you don't mean it so apology accepted."
Beck,"Bender, that's some played-out, new-jack, horse crap-- But I know you don't mean it so apology accepted.",Bender,"So, I can, uh, keep the cheque?"
Bender,"So, I can, uh, keep the cheque?",Garfunkel,Over my dead career!
Garfunkel,Over my dead career!,Bender,"Well, it was worth a shot."
Bender,"Well, it was worth a shot.",Fry,"C'mon, Bender. If you're done scamming Beck, we're heading home."
Fry,"C'mon, Bender. If you're done scamming Beck, we're heading home.",Take,"that, you stupid corn!"
Take,"that, you stupid corn!",Hermes,"Go get it, boy!"
Hermes,"Go get it, boy!",Fry,"So, Leela, how about a romantic ride in one of those swan boats? They're kinda dangerous but I finally mastered them."
Fry,"So, Leela, how about a romantic ride in one of those swan boats? They're kinda dangerous but I finally mastered them.",Leela,"Those aren't swan boats, they're swans."
Leela,"Those aren't swan boats, they're swans.",Fry,Oh. That explains these boat eggs.
Fry,Oh. That explains these boat eggs.,Farnsworth,Wha?
Farnsworth,Wha?,Fry,What happens if we lose?
Fry,What happens if we lose?,Tate,"Nothing. There's nothing at stake and no threat, beyond the shame of defeat!"
Tate,"Nothing. There's nothing at stake and no threat, beyond the shame of defeat!",Farnsworth,"I'll take you on, you air-balling bozos."
Farnsworth,"I'll take you on, you air-balling bozos.",Tate,"You, old man? Sweet Clyde, laugh derisively at him."
Tate,"You, old man? Sweet Clyde, laugh derisively at him.",Farnsworth,"I may be an old man. In fact, I'm fairly sure I am. But I'll put you Globetrotters in your place with my team of mutant atomic supermen!"
Farnsworth,"I may be an old man. In fact, I'm fairly sure I am. But I'll put you Globetrotters in your place with my team of mutant atomic supermen!",Hermes,"Hooray, Professor!"
Hermes,"Hooray, Professor!",Farnsworth,Behold: My mutant atomic supermen.
Farnsworth,Behold: My mutant atomic supermen.,Leela,"They're only a foot high, Professor."
Leela,"They're only a foot high, Professor.","Farnsworth,",really. We'll need to speed up their growth with time particles called Chronitons.
"Farnsworth,",really. We'll need to speed up their growth with time particles called Chronitons.,Bender,Aren't those the particles that destroyed an entire civilisa--
Bender,Aren't those the particles that destroyed an entire civilisa--,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! You're off to the Tempus Nebula to gather Chronitons."
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! You're off to the Tempus Nebula to gather Chronitons.",Fry,"Hey, Leela, look at me!"
Fry,"Hey, Leela, look at me!",Leela,Your face can take a lot of punishment. That's good to know.
Leela,Your face can take a lot of punishment. That's good to know.,Fry,There's a lot about my face you don't know! Perhaps you and it could get better acquainted over dinner.
Fry,There's a lot about my face you don't know! Perhaps you and it could get better acquainted over dinner.,Leela,"Alright! Cool your jets, hotshot."
Leela,"Alright! Cool your jets, hotshot.",Fry,"C'mon, Leela, why won't you go out with me? We both know there's something there."
Fry,"C'mon, Leela, why won't you go out with me? We both know there's something there.",Leela,"No, I mean cool your jets. They're melting Bender's face."
Leela,"No, I mean cool your jets. They're melting Bender's face.",Bender,"Ow! Oh, my God! Ow!"
Bender,"Ow! Oh, my God! Ow!",Leela,Here you go. Hot off the nebula.
Leela,Here you go. Hot off the nebula.,Farnsworth,Behold! My invincible nuclear mutants.
Farnsworth,Behold! My invincible nuclear mutants.,Amy,Hi!
Amy,Hi!,Arachneon,Hello!
Arachneon,Hello!,Albert,Here's the tip-off. Globetrotter ball. Sweet Clyde Dixon to Bubblegum Tate. Drives down-court-- And Curly Joe from the rear.
Albert,Here's the tip-off. Globetrotter ball. Sweet Clyde Dixon to Bubblegum Tate. Drives down-court-- And Curly Joe from the rear.,Zoidberg,That one grabbed his behindus!
Zoidberg,That one grabbed his behindus!,Leela,Sh!
Leela,Sh!,Hermes,Quiet!
Hermes,Quiet!,Tate,will wipe the smiles from your faces.
Tate,will wipe the smiles from your faces.,Albert,Yes!
Albert,Yes!,Albert,Yes! He's really showing us what a man with a cannon in his chest can do!
Albert,Yes! He's really showing us what a man with a cannon in his chest can do!,Farnsworth,"No showboarding, you atomic hotdog!"
Farnsworth,"No showboarding, you atomic hotdog!",Albert,"Bubblegum, the Trotters are down by six. Reactions?"
Albert,"Bubblegum, the Trotters are down by six. Reactions?",Tate,"It was always our plan to trail at the half, thus deepening Earth's eventual humiliation. Also, what game were the refs watching?"
Tate,"It was always our plan to trail at the half, thus deepening Earth's eventual humiliation. Also, what game were the refs watching?",Albert,... continues to wreak havoc on--
Albert,... continues to wreak havoc on--,Farnsworth,"Did everything just jump around, or did my brain just stroke off there for a second?"
Farnsworth,"Did everything just jump around, or did my brain just stroke off there for a second?",Albert,"Ladies and gentlemen, something very strange has just happened in this basketball game between space clowns and atomic monsters."
Albert,"Ladies and gentlemen, something very strange has just happened in this basketball game between space clowns and atomic monsters.",Farnsworth,Time-out! Time-out!
Farnsworth,Time-out! Time-out!,Fry,What's happening?
Fry,What's happening?,Farnsworth,"We seem to be lurching forward randomly in time, like a needle skipping on a record player."
Farnsworth,"We seem to be lurching forward randomly in time, like a needle skipping on a record player.",Amy,What's causing it? Is it my outfit?
Amy,What's causing it? Is it my outfit?,Farnsworth,No. It must have something to do with those time particles I used to grow the Supermen. Time and space are ripping apart at the seams.
Farnsworth,No. It must have something to do with those time particles I used to grow the Supermen. Time and space are ripping apart at the seams.,Thorias,Oops!
Thorias,Oops!,Farnsworth,"Oh, great! Now, on top of everything, we need a new fifth man."
Farnsworth,"Oh, great! Now, on top of everything, we need a new fifth man.",Fry,"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Put me in, Professor. I wanna show Leela my skills."
Fry,"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Put me in, Professor. I wanna show Leela my skills.",Farnsworth,Hmm. Will said skills pay the bills?
Farnsworth,Hmm. Will said skills pay the bills?,Fry,Who cares? We're 35 points ahead with two minutes left. What could possibly--
Fry,Who cares? We're 35 points ahead with two minutes left. What could possibly--,Albert,"Globetrotters win, 244-86. A dark day for humanity, folks. We have been beaten ... in basketball."
Albert,"Globetrotters win, 244-86. A dark day for humanity, folks. We have been beaten ... in basketball.",Curly,"Joe: Yeah, that's how we do it!"
Curly,"Joe: Yeah, that's how we do it!",'Sweet',Clyde: How's that?
'Sweet',Clyde: How's that?,Tate,You are all fools of the highest calibre.
Tate,You are all fools of the highest calibre.,Leela,the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas.
Leela,the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas.,Hermes,"I'm just glad my fat, ugly mama isn't alive to see this day."
Hermes,"I'm just glad my fat, ugly mama isn't alive to see this day.",Farnsworth,"Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes. We have bigger problems. This time disruption is extremely serious."
Farnsworth,"Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes. We have bigger problems. This time disruption is extremely serious.",Tate,"Damn right, brother man. This chronological wang-dang-doodle could destroy the very matrix of reality."
Tate,"Damn right, brother man. This chronological wang-dang-doodle could destroy the very matrix of reality.",Farnsworth,Tate? What do you know about this?
Farnsworth,Tate? What do you know about this?,Tate,senior lecturer of physics at Globetrotter U. And I'd like to help you investigate.
Tate,senior lecturer of physics at Globetrotter U. And I'd like to help you investigate.,Farnsworth,Bubblegum Tate?
Farnsworth,Bubblegum Tate?,Tate,I think we got ourselves an excess of Chronitons in the subatomic interstices.
Tate,I think we got ourselves an excess of Chronitons in the subatomic interstices.,Farnsworth,"Yes, I see. Something involving that many big words could easily destabilise time itself."
Farnsworth,"Yes, I see. Something involving that many big words could easily destabilise time itself.",Fry,Is that a problem?
Fry,Is that a problem?,Farnsworth,"Indeed so. At this rate, by Tuesday it will be Thursday; by Wednesday, it will be August; and by Thursday, it will be the end of existence as we know it."
Farnsworth,"Indeed so. At this rate, by Tuesday it will be Thursday; by Wednesday, it will be August; and by Thursday, it will be the end of existence as we know it.",Man,I'll have to ask you to clear out now. The circus need to set up for tomorrow's big--
Man,I'll have to ask you to clear out now. The circus need to set up for tomorrow's big--,Linda,Time continues to skip forward randomly. Details at 11.
Linda,Time continues to skip forward randomly. Details at 11.,Linda,This is the news at 11. The mysterious and unexplained--
Linda,This is the news at 11. The mysterious and unexplained--,Linda,"Turning to entertainment news, teen singer Wendy might just be the latest--"
Linda,"Turning to entertainment news, teen singer Wendy might just be the latest--",Linda,--won three Grammys last night--
Linda,--won three Grammys last night--,Linda,--found dead in her bathtub.
Linda,--found dead in her bathtub.,Farnsworth,"Interesting. It's as if we behave normally during the time skips, but then we have no memory of it."
Farnsworth,"Interesting. It's as if we behave normally during the time skips, but then we have no memory of it.",Fry,You mean we just--
Fry,You mean we just--,Farnsworth,"My, yes. Ooh, just like that. Any luck, Bubblegum?"
Farnsworth,"My, yes. Ooh, just like that. Any luck, Bubblegum?",Tate,"Not yet. Listen, I hope you don't mind if I dribble a little while I work."
Tate,"Not yet. Listen, I hope you don't mind if I dribble a little while I work.",Farnsworth,Not if you'll grant me the same liberty.
Farnsworth,Not if you'll grant me the same liberty.,Bender,"Ooh! Ooh! Bubblegum? My name's Bender and I'm a huge fan of your work, both on and off the court. Can I be a Globetrotter?"
Bender,"Ooh! Ooh! Bubblegum? My name's Bender and I'm a huge fan of your work, both on and off the court. Can I be a Globetrotter?",Tate,"Shut up, turkey."
Tate,"Shut up, turkey.",Farnsworth,"Bubblegum, look at this. The background time radiation is fluctuating wildly."
Farnsworth,"Bubblegum, look at this. The background time radiation is fluctuating wildly.",Tate,"Good Lord! That sucker's shaking around like some fine, imported booty."
Tate,"Good Lord! That sucker's shaking around like some fine, imported booty.",Hermes,"Say, I'm no physicist, but I think I know how to stop the skipping. We'll just--"
Hermes,"Say, I'm no physicist, but I think I know how to stop the skipping. We'll just--",Hermes,I don't know how this was suppose to work.
Hermes,I don't know how this was suppose to work.,Amy,"Professor, I hope you find out what's wrong before we skip right past my birth--"
Amy,"Professor, I hope you find out what's wrong before we skip right past my birth--",All,"--ppy birthday, Amy."
All,"--ppy birthday, Amy.",Amy,Hooray! Look at all these presents!
Amy,Hooray! Look at all these presents!,Zoidberg,I hope we all have as much tomorrow at my birth--
Zoidberg,I hope we all have as much tomorrow at my birth--,Zoidberg,What?
Zoidberg,What?,Fry,"Psst! Leela. I've set up a time-proof shelter in the closet. There's only room for two, and you're the one I wanna share it with."
Fry,"Psst! Leela. I've set up a time-proof shelter in the closet. There's only room for two, and you're the one I wanna share it with.",Leela,"Fry, that's so sweet. Let me see."
Leela,"Fry, that's so sweet. Let me see.",Leela,How exactly will this protect us from time jumps?
Leela,How exactly will this protect us from time jumps?,Fry,"Because when we're together in here, baby, time will stand still."
Fry,"Because when we're together in here, baby, time will stand still.",Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Zoidberg,Hmm.
Zoidberg,Hmm.,Leela,"Dr. Zoidberg, can I talk to you about Fry?"
Leela,"Dr. Zoidberg, can I talk to you about Fry?",Zoidberg,"Leela, I would be honoured."
Zoidberg,"Leela, I would be honoured.",Leela,--does the worst W.C. Fields imitation I've ever seen. Zoidberg!
Leela,--does the worst W.C. Fields imitation I've ever seen. Zoidberg!,Zoidberg,"Sorry, you must have been boring me."
Zoidberg,"Sorry, you must have been boring me.",Leela,his childishness.
Leela,his childishness.,Zoidberg,You were saying?
Zoidberg,You were saying?,Farnsworth,"Ah, there is it. The Tempus Nebula. Take a whiff through the Smellescope."
Farnsworth,"Ah, there is it. The Tempus Nebula. Take a whiff through the Smellescope.",Tate,What's that funky jazz?
Tate,What's that funky jazz?,Farnsworth,"The odour of pure time leaking. When my crew removed the Chronitons, it destabilised the nebula, causing time skips throughout the universe."
Farnsworth,"The odour of pure time leaking. When my crew removed the Chronitons, it destabilised the nebula, causing time skips throughout the universe.",Bender,Ooh! Let Bubblegum tell it.
Bender,Ooh! Let Bubblegum tell it.,Tate,"... they cause these dents, or time skips."
Tate,"... they cause these dents, or time skips.",Bender,You are so smart!
Bender,You are so smart!,Tate,Hold up. What if we were to move this cluster of starts to these algebraic co-ordinates?
Tate,Hold up. What if we were to move this cluster of starts to these algebraic co-ordinates?,Farnsworth,Their gravity might just divert the Chronitons to the empty side of the universe.
Farnsworth,Their gravity might just divert the Chronitons to the empty side of the universe.,Tate,Yeah. But is it possible? Moving stars would require one bad-ass gravity pump. And we'd need all the money on Earth to--
Tate,Yeah. But is it possible? Moving stars would require one bad-ass gravity pump. And we'd need all the money on Earth to--,Tate,What the--
Tate,What the--,Farnsworth,Wha?
Farnsworth,Wha?,Nixon,"Here's the funding for your gravity pump. But it damn well better work! We can't spend all of Earth's money every day. Now, how long will it take to build?"
Nixon,"Here's the funding for your gravity pump. But it damn well better work! We can't spend all of Earth's money every day. Now, how long will it take to build?",Tate,"It won't be easy, Nixon. A jim-jam this complex might take months or even--"
Tate,"It won't be easy, Nixon. A jim-jam this complex might take months or even--",Farnsworth,Powerful enough to move the stars themselves. Now to begin the arduous task of attaching it to the ship so th--
Farnsworth,Powerful enough to move the stars themselves. Now to begin the arduous task of attaching it to the ship so th--,Farnsworth,"Off you go, apparently."
Farnsworth,"Off you go, apparently.",Tate,"Easy, Leela. Just finger-roll that star to the cosmic basket."
Tate,"Easy, Leela. Just finger-roll that star to the cosmic basket.",Leela,Just a few ... more ... hundred ... thousand ... miles. There!
Leela,Just a few ... more ... hundred ... thousand ... miles. There!,Tate,Nothing but nebula!
Tate,Nothing but nebula!,Leela,"We'll have to run some tests back on Earth, but I think we've stopped the time skips."
Leela,"We'll have to run some tests back on Earth, but I think we've stopped the time skips.",Bender,Alright!
Bender,Alright!,Tate,Jamming!
Tate,Jamming!,Fry,Hooray for Leela!
Fry,Hooray for Leela!,Bender,And what better way to celebrate our success than by me showing Bubblegum the Globetrotter uniform I made myself!
Bender,And what better way to celebrate our success than by me showing Bubblegum the Globetrotter uniform I made myself!,Tate,"Hello, lawsuit!"
Tate,"Hello, lawsuit!",Fry,"Leela, I want you to know I think the way you moved those stars around was really wonderful. I got you something."
Fry,"Leela, I want you to know I think the way you moved those stars around was really wonderful. I got you something.",Leela,"Moderately-priced, domestic, non-vintage champagne? How did you know?"
Leela,"Moderately-priced, domestic, non-vintage champagne? How did you know?",Fry,"You deserve it. I mean, nobody ever stops to tell you what a great captain you are."
Fry,"You deserve it. I mean, nobody ever stops to tell you what a great captain you are.",Leela,Aw! That is so true and sweet.
Leela,Aw! That is so true and sweet.,"Fry,","and best of all, you'll go out with me-e?"
"Fry,","and best of all, you'll go out with me-e?",Leela,"Fry, please try to understand: You're a man, I'm a woman. We're just too different."
Leela,"Fry, please try to understand: You're a man, I'm a woman. We're just too different.",Bender,"Hey, Leela. Bubblegum might let me organise a bake sale for the Globetrotter wives. Can you teach me to make cupcakes?"
Bender,"Hey, Leela. Bubblegum might let me organise a bake sale for the Globetrotter wives. Can you teach me to make cupcakes?",Leela,"Alright, but I wanna lick the beaters."
Leela,"Alright, but I wanna lick the beaters.",Fry,"I got her champagne, I opened it. What does a guy have to do?"
Fry,"I got her champagne, I opened it. What does a guy have to do?",Tate,"86 the chump stuff, F-man. It's time to win Leela's heart with a big-showy, three-point romantic gesture."
Tate,"86 the chump stuff, F-man. It's time to win Leela's heart with a big-showy, three-point romantic gesture.",Fry,surprise.
Fry,surprise.,Leela,"Fry, what are you doing?"
Leela,"Fry, what are you doing?",Tate,Uh-oh. Time to boogie on down to the sauna!
Tate,Uh-oh. Time to boogie on down to the sauna!,Fry,Look. I've been studying how to pilot the ship. Impressed?
Fry,Look. I've been studying how to pilot the ship. Impressed?,Leela,"Yeah, actually. You're doing OK. The core reactor temperature's nominal, the blinker's off."
Leela,"Yeah, actually. You're doing OK. The core reactor temperature's nominal, the blinker's off.",Fry,"I learned how to work the gravity pump too. In case we need to move more stars. So, are we dating now?"
Fry,"I learned how to work the gravity pump too. In case we need to move more stars. So, are we dating now?",Leela,"Is that what this is all about? Please, just cut it out now."
Leela,"Is that what this is all about? Please, just cut it out now.",Fry,"Look, Leela. I know there's some perfect, amazing thing I can do to make you love me, and when I figure out what it is--"
Fry,"Look, Leela. I know there's some perfect, amazing thing I can do to make you love me, and when I figure out what it is--",Preacherbot,--man and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Preacherbot,--man and wife. You may kiss the bride.,Albert,Yes!
Albert,Yes!,Zoidberg,He looks radiant!
Zoidberg,He looks radiant!,Farnsworth,"Ye Gods, Bubblegum! We failed. The time skips haven't stopped at all."
Farnsworth,"Ye Gods, Bubblegum! We failed. The time skips haven't stopped at all.",Tate,"Even in these formal shorts, I feel like a failure."
Tate,"Even in these formal shorts, I feel like a failure.",Leela,"You tricked me into marrying you, didn't you?"
Leela,"You tricked me into marrying you, didn't you?",Fry,Of course not.
Fry,Of course not.,Leela,How'd you do it? Drugs in the champagne? Hypnosis?
Leela,How'd you do it? Drugs in the champagne? Hypnosis?,Fry,"No! Drugs are for losers and hypnosis is for losers with big, weird eyebrows. I don't know what amazing thing I did you make you love me but, whatever it was, we're married now. We've got the rest of our lives to work--"
Fry,"No! Drugs are for losers and hypnosis is for losers with big, weird eyebrows. I don't know what amazing thing I did you make you love me but, whatever it was, we're married now. We've got the rest of our lives to work--",Whitey,Divorce is final.
Whitey,Divorce is final.,Fry,What?
Fry,What?,Leela,"Well, let's divide up the china. I guess I'll take the NFC helmets and you can have the AFC helmets."
Leela,"Well, let's divide up the china. I guess I'll take the NFC helmets and you can have the AFC helmets.",Fry,Fine. Break my heart again.
Fry,Fine. Break my heart again.,Zoidberg,still have Zoidberg.
Zoidberg,still have Zoidberg.,Fry,How did I do it? How did I get Leela to love me? I've got to figure it out.
Fry,How did I do it? How did I get Leela to love me? I've got to figure it out.,Hermes,"Maybe you're just a fantastic lover, Fry."
Hermes,"Maybe you're just a fantastic lover, Fry.",Amy,"Um, no."
Amy,"Um, no.",Fry,I don't know what I'm doing.
Fry,I don't know what I'm doing.,Bender,"Maybe she'd come back to you if your best friend Bender were a Globetrotter. What do you say, Bubblegum?"
Bender,"Maybe she'd come back to you if your best friend Bender were a Globetrotter. What do you say, Bubblegum?",Tate,"Hell, no."
Tate,"Hell, no.",Fry,"Oh, it's hopeless. I did something so great that it won Leela's heart and I'll never, ever know what it was. My life is empty."
Fry,"Oh, it's hopeless. I did something so great that it won Leela's heart and I'll never, ever know what it was. My life is empty.",Zoidberg,Zoidberg!
Zoidberg,Zoidberg!,Farnsworth,No wonder we failed to stop the time skips. Diverting Chronitons is mathematically impossible. I knew I should have checked your show-boating Globetrotter algebra.
Farnsworth,No wonder we failed to stop the time skips. Diverting Chronitons is mathematically impossible. I knew I should have checked your show-boating Globetrotter algebra.,Tate,"Man, I thought you knew that algebra was all razz-ma-tazz. A Globetrotter always saves the good algebra for the final minutes."
Tate,"Man, I thought you knew that algebra was all razz-ma-tazz. A Globetrotter always saves the good algebra for the final minutes.",Bender,Vintage Bubblegum!
Bender,Vintage Bubblegum!,Farnsworth,The time skips are worse than ever now. Isolated spots are jumping by years at a time. Look.
Farnsworth,The time skips are worse than ever now. Isolated spots are jumping by years at a time. Look.,Boy,Stupid senior citizens. Why should we have to pay for their social security benefits?
Boy,Stupid senior citizens. Why should we have to pay for their social security benefits?,Old,Man: I deserve free money!
Old,Man: I deserve free money!,Farnsworth,"Well, I'm stumped. We'll have to call in the finest scientific minds in the univ--"
Farnsworth,"Well, I'm stumped. We'll have to call in the finest scientific minds in the univ--",Farnsworth,"Perhaps we could explode the whole damned nebula. What do you think, Curly Joe?"
Farnsworth,"Perhaps we could explode the whole damned nebula. What do you think, Curly Joe?",Curly,"Joe: No, man. An explosion big enough to destroy that mama would take out half the universe."
Curly,"Joe: No, man. An explosion big enough to destroy that mama would take out half the universe.",Sweet,Clydeplosion.
Sweet,Clydeplosion.,Farnsworth,"By God, Sweet Clyde is right. An implosion might just form a black hole that would stop more Chronitons from escaping."
Farnsworth,"By God, Sweet Clyde is right. An implosion might just form a black hole that would stop more Chronitons from escaping.",Tate,"Whoa. Slow that brain train down, Prof. We'd need some kind of doomsday device to initiate an implosion like that."
Tate,"Whoa. Slow that brain train down, Prof. We'd need some kind of doomsday device to initiate an implosion like that.",Farnsworth,I suppose I could part with one and still be feared.
Farnsworth,I suppose I could part with one and still be feared.,Tate,"Give me some skin, Prof. I'm making you an honorary Globetrotter. In fact, everybody in this room's an honorary Globetrotter."
Tate,"Give me some skin, Prof. I'm making you an honorary Globetrotter. In fact, everybody in this room's an honorary Globetrotter.",Amy,Hooray!
Amy,Hooray!,Hermes,Yes!
Hermes,Yes!,Zoidberg,I'm a Globetrotter!
Zoidberg,I'm a Globetrotter!,Bender,Did you just say--
Bender,Did you just say--,Tate,"Too late, hot plate."
Tate,"Too late, hot plate.",Bender,"Oh, crap."
Bender,"Oh, crap.",Tate,"We must leave now, for we are needed elsewhere. But we wish you Godspeed."
Tate,"We must leave now, for we are needed elsewhere. But we wish you Godspeed.",Bender,"Please, please let me come with you. I can make myself taller."
Bender,"Please, please let me come with you. I can make myself taller.",Tate,"Bender, you can talk trash, you can handle the ball. But look in your heart and ask yourself: Are you funky enough to be a Globetrotter? Are you?"
Tate,"Bender, you can talk trash, you can handle the ball. But look in your heart and ask yourself: Are you funky enough to be a Globetrotter? Are you?",Bender,Yes.
Bender,Yes.,Tate,Are you?
Tate,Are you?,Bender,"I mean, with time, my funk level could--"
Bender,"I mean, with time, my funk level could--",Tate,Are you?
Tate,Are you?,Bender,No.
Bender,No.,Tate,Deal with it.
Tate,Deal with it.,Bender,Oh! No!
Bender,Oh! No!,Leela,"Careful with that doomsday device, Bender."
Leela,"Careful with that doomsday device, Bender.",Bender,"What does it matter? I'll never be a Globetrotter. My life, and, by extension, everyone else's, is meaningless."
Bender,"What does it matter? I'll never be a Globetrotter. My life, and, by extension, everyone else's, is meaningless.",Leela,Roger.
Leela,Roger.,Fry,"Leela, about the wedding. I don't know what I did to make you love me, and I don't think I tricked you into it, but maybe I did. And if I did, I'm sorry."
Fry,"Leela, about the wedding. I don't know what I did to make you love me, and I don't think I tricked you into it, but maybe I did. And if I did, I'm sorry.",Leela,"It's OK, Fry. You know we'll always be friends, right?"
Leela,"It's OK, Fry. You know we'll always be friends, right?",Fry,Yeah. But I don't guess anything I could do will ever make you feel the same way about me that I do about you.
Fry,Yeah. But I don't guess anything I could do will ever make you feel the same way about me that I do about you.,Leela,I guess not.
Leela,I guess not.,Bender,"Well, the doomsday device is ready. Maybe blasting this quadrant of space into a hell storm of flaming nothingness will cheer me up a little."
Bender,"Well, the doomsday device is ready. Maybe blasting this quadrant of space into a hell storm of flaming nothingness will cheer me up a little.",Leela,"Actually, I think I'll go down and prep the detonator. Fry, why don't you take the helm?"
Leela,"Actually, I think I'll go down and prep the detonator. Fry, why don't you take the helm?",Fry,She's so great. I feel like I can almost remember the magical thing I did to make her love me. But I guess I never will.
Fry,She's so great. I feel like I can almost remember the magical thing I did to make her love me. But I guess I never will.,Bender,"Sorry, buddy. I too know what it's like to have a dream I'll never achieve."
Bender,"Sorry, buddy. I too know what it's like to have a dream I'll never achieve.",Fry,That's how I must have done it! I moved the stars themselves to write her a love note in the sky.
Fry,That's how I must have done it! I moved the stars themselves to write her a love note in the sky.,Leela,"Detonation in three, two, one."
Leela,"Detonation in three, two, one.",Fry,Did you see it? Did you see it?
Fry,Did you see it? Did you see it?,Bender,The explosion?
Bender,The explosion?,Fry,"No, not the explosion!"
Fry,"No, not the explosion!",Leela,Then what?
Leela,Then what?,Fry,Nothing.
Fry,Nothing.,Narrator,"Please send a man round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident."
Narrator,"Please send a man round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.",Smith,A casino where I always win? That's boring. I must really be ... in hell!
Smith,A casino where I always win? That's boring. I must really be ... in hell!,Sebastian,Cabot hell. You're on an aeroplane.
Sebastian,Cabot hell. You're on an aeroplane.,Smith,There's a gremlin destroying the plane! You've gotta believe me!
Smith,There's a gremlin destroying the plane! You've gotta believe me!,Sebastian,Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!
Sebastian,Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!,Smith,Eva Braun! Help me!
Smith,Eva Braun! Help me!,Bender,Saw it comin'!
Bender,Saw it comin'!,Fry,beautiful I fell to my knees and cried.
Fry,beautiful I fell to my knees and cried.,Amy,Was it out in front of Discount Shoe Outlet?
Amy,Was it out in front of Discount Shoe Outlet?,Fry,Yeah.
Fry,Yeah.,Amy,They have a college kid wear that to attract customers.
Amy,They have a college kid wear that to attract customers.,Fry,"Well I don't care if it was some dork in a costume. For one brief moment I felt the heartbeat of creation, and it was one with my own."
Fry,"Well I don't care if it was some dork in a costume. For one brief moment I felt the heartbeat of creation, and it was one with my own.",Amy,Big deal!
Amy,Big deal!,Bender,the time. You don't hear us gassin' on about it.
Bender,the time. You don't hear us gassin' on about it.,Fry,"How can you people be so blasé? Here you are in the year 3000 or so, yet you just sit around like it's the boring time I came from."
Fry,"How can you people be so blasé? Here you are in the year 3000 or so, yet you just sit around like it's the boring time I came from.",Farnsworth,Boring? Wasn't that the period when they cracked the human genome and boy bands roamed the Earth?
Farnsworth,Boring? Wasn't that the period when they cracked the human genome and boy bands roamed the Earth?,Fry,Yeah. But now it's the distant future. Why aren't we out doing everything I ever dreamed of?
Fry,Yeah. But now it's the distant future. Why aren't we out doing everything I ever dreamed of?,Leela,"Hey, you know what might be a hoot?"
Leela,"Hey, you know what might be a hoot?",Farnsworth,No. Why would I know that?
Farnsworth,No. Why would I know that?,Leela,Let's take the rest of the morning off and take Fry to do everything he ever wanted to do.
Leela,Let's take the rest of the morning off and take Fry to do everything he ever wanted to do.,Fry,Everything?
Fry,Everything?,Leela,Except that.
Leela,Except that.,Sal,"Sos your fantasies has always been to destroys a planet, huh?"
Sal,"Sos your fantasies has always been to destroys a planet, huh?",Fry,"Yeah, what did they ever do for me?"
Fry,"Yeah, what did they ever do for me?",Leela,through your eyes. What should we do next?
Leela,through your eyes. What should we do next?,Fry,I wanna see the edge of the universe!
Fry,I wanna see the edge of the universe!,Amy,Ooh! That sounds cool.
Amy,Ooh! That sounds cool.,Zoidberg,"It's funny. You live in the universe, but you never do these things till someone comes to visit."
Zoidberg,"It's funny. You live in the universe, but you never do these things till someone comes to visit.",Farnsworth,There it is! The edge of the universe!
Farnsworth,There it is! The edge of the universe!,Fry,Far out! So there's an infinite number of parallel universes?
Fry,Far out! So there's an infinite number of parallel universes?,Farnsworth,"No, just the two."
Farnsworth,"No, just the two.",Fry,"Oh, well, I'm sure that's enough."
Fry,"Oh, well, I'm sure that's enough.",Bender,I'm sick of parallel Bender lording his cowboy hat over me! Let's move on to Fry's next fantasy.
Bender,I'm sick of parallel Bender lording his cowboy hat over me! Let's move on to Fry's next fantasy.,Fry,Giddy-up!
Fry,Giddy-up!,Girl,"Mommy, why is that man like that?"
Girl,"Mommy, why is that man like that?",Mother,Don't look at him!
Mother,Don't look at him!,Fry,That was fun. Let's give him a treat!
Fry,That was fun. Let's give him a treat!,Leela,Keep your palms flat.
Leela,Keep your palms flat.,Fry,The tongue tickles.
Fry,The tongue tickles.,Fry,These new hands are great. I'm gonna break 'em in tonight.
Fry,These new hands are great. I'm gonna break 'em in tonight.,Farnsworth,"Yes, it's been quite an hour and a half."
Farnsworth,"Yes, it's been quite an hour and a half.",Fry,I've only got two fantasies left: Be invisible in a chocolate factory and be romantically linked with a celebrity.
Fry,I've only got two fantasies left: Be invisible in a chocolate factory and be romantically linked with a celebrity.,Bender,I could pound your head till you think that's what happened.
Bender,I could pound your head till you think that's what happened.,Fry,OK.
Fry,OK.,Leela,"Wait, hold on. It is actually possible to meet any celebrity you want."
Leela,"Wait, hold on. It is actually possible to meet any celebrity you want.",Fry,It is?
Fry,It is?,Leela,Of course! You should read a blimp sometime.
Leela,Of course! You should read a blimp sometime.,Fry,Download a celebrity from the Internet? What part of that do I understand?
Fry,Download a celebrity from the Internet? What part of that do I understand?,Leela,It's simple. You can download a celebrity's personality and appearance into a blank robot.
Leela,It's simple. You can download a celebrity's personality and appearance into a blank robot.,Fry,"Hey, I have an idea. Let's do that!"
Fry,"Hey, I have an idea. Let's do that!",Farnsworth,Onto the Internet you go!
Farnsworth,Onto the Internet you go!,Bender,"Oh, and while you're there, pick me up a few credit card numbers."
Bender,"Oh, and while you're there, pick me up a few credit card numbers.",Trekkie,#1: No way! Kirk could kick Picard's ass!
Trekkie,#1: No way! Kirk could kick Picard's ass!,Trekkie,#2: Yeah? At least Picard had the guts to admit he was bald!
Trekkie,#2: Yeah? At least Picard had the guts to admit he was bald!,Trekkie,#1: What? You take that back!
Trekkie,#1: What? You take that back!,Fry,Ooh! eBay!
Fry,Ooh! eBay!,Auctioneer,Sold to The Being of Inconceivable Horror.
Auctioneer,Sold to The Being of Inconceivable Horror.,The,Being of Inconceivable Horror: Will a money order be OK?
The,Being of Inconceivable Horror: Will a money order be OK?,Auctioneer,Yes.
Auctioneer,Yes.,Fry,So where's the celebrity dating place?
Fry,So where's the celebrity dating place?,Leela,Over there.
Leela,Over there.,Salesman,Can I interest you in Gwyneth Paltrow?
Salesman,Can I interest you in Gwyneth Paltrow?,Fry,that she drinks human blood.
Fry,that she drinks human blood.,Salesman,"Then, uh, how about Cleopatra, whose beauty destroyed mighty empires."
Salesman,"Then, uh, how about Cleopatra, whose beauty destroyed mighty empires.",Fry,I'd prefer someone from the era of shaved underarms. Do you have anything with more of a Lucy-Liu-feel to it?
Fry,I'd prefer someone from the era of shaved underarms. Do you have anything with more of a Lucy-Liu-feel to it?,Salesman,"magazine's sexiest woman of the year twice. In 2003, and then again in 2063."
Salesman,"magazine's sexiest woman of the year twice. In 2003, and then again in 2063.",Fry,I'd like the 2003 model.
Fry,I'd like the 2003 model.,Fry,I've found her! What do I do now?
Fry,I've found her! What do I do now?,Farnsworth,Download her. Let's just put a blank robot in the drive.
Farnsworth,Download her. Let's just put a blank robot in the drive.,Fry,It worked!
Fry,It worked!,Liubot,Philip J. Fry.
Liubot,Philip J. Fry.,Fry,It worked perfectly!
Fry,It worked perfectly!,Leela,"Well, you downloaded Lucy Liu. Are you just going to stare vacantly at her and not say anything?"
Leela,"Well, you downloaded Lucy Liu. Are you just going to stare vacantly at her and not say anything?",Liubot,Philip J. Fry.
Liubot,Philip J. Fry.,Fry,Did you hear that? She likes me!
Fry,Did you hear that? She likes me!,Farnsworth,"Well, duh! She's programmed to like you!"
Farnsworth,"Well, duh! She's programmed to like you!",Fry!,Perhaps the only good actress of the 21st century! She's more than just a piece of software.
Fry!,Perhaps the only good actress of the 21st century! She's more than just a piece of software.,Liubot,Would you like to take a moment to register me?
Liubot,Would you like to take a moment to register me?,Fry,"Uh, not right now."
Fry,"Uh, not right now.",Liubot,"I'll remind you later, you hot stud, you!"
Liubot,"I'll remind you later, you hot stud, you!",Fry,"So, uh, what do you feel like doing?"
Fry,"So, uh, what do you feel like doing?",Liubot,Would you like to take a moment to register me?
Liubot,Would you like to take a moment to register me?,Fry,I said later!
Fry,I said later!,Fry,eat more.
Fry,eat more.,Liubot,can eat more.
Liubot,can eat more.,Fry,"Oh, Lucy! You're just like I always thought you'd be from your movies."
Fry,"Oh, Lucy! You're just like I always thought you'd be from your movies.",Liubot,"My personality is mathematically derived from my movies, proportionally weighted by box office receipts."
Liubot,"My personality is mathematically derived from my movies, proportionally weighted by box office receipts.",Fry,You're cute!
Fry,You're cute!,Liubot,You're cute!
Liubot,You're cute!,Fry,You!
Fry,You!,Liubot,You!
Liubot,You!,Fry,You!
Fry,You!,Liubot,You!
Liubot,You!,Fry,You!
Fry,You!,Farnsworth,"an idiot. Well, that's love for you."
Farnsworth,"an idiot. Well, that's love for you.",Bender,Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!
Bender,Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!,Leela,"Bender, this is Fry's decision ... and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life."
Leela,"Bender, this is Fry's decision ... and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life.",Leela,She doesn't really love you. She can't. She's just a machine that--
Leela,She doesn't really love you. She can't. She's just a machine that--,Bender,"Stay away from our women! You got metal fever, boy! Metal fever!"
Bender,"Stay away from our women! You got metal fever, boy! Metal fever!",Fry,"Well, so what if I love a robot? It's not hurting anybody."
Fry,"Well, so what if I love a robot? It's not hurting anybody.",Hermes,My God! He never took middle school hygiene. He never saw the propaganda film.
Hermes,My God! He never took middle school hygiene. He never saw the propaganda film.,Farnsworth,It's just lucky I keep a copy in the VCR at all times.
Farnsworth,It's just lucky I keep a copy in the VCR at all times.,Narrator,"But when a human dates an artificial mate, there is no purpose. Only enjoyment. And that leads to ... tragedy."
Narrator,"But when a human dates an artificial mate, there is no purpose. Only enjoyment. And that leads to ... tragedy.",Billy,Neat-o! A Marilyn Monroe-bot!
Billy,Neat-o! A Marilyn Monroe-bot!,Monroe-bot,Billy Everyteen.
Monroe-bot,Billy Everyteen.,Narrator,Harmless fun? Let's see what happens next.
Narrator,Harmless fun? Let's see what happens next.,Billy's,"Mom: Billy, do you want to walk your dog?"
Billy's,"Mom: Billy, do you want to walk your dog?",Billy,"No thanks, Mom. I'd rather make out with my Monroe-bot."
Billy,"No thanks, Mom. I'd rather make out with my Monroe-bot.",Billy's,"Dad: Billy, do want to get a paper route and earn some extra cash?"
Billy's,"Dad: Billy, do want to get a paper route and earn some extra cash?",Billy,"No thanks, Dad. I'd rather make out with my Monroe-bot."
Billy,"No thanks, Dad. I'd rather make out with my Monroe-bot.",Mavis,"Billy, do you want to come over tonight? We can make out together."
Mavis,"Billy, do you want to come over tonight? We can make out together.",Billy,"Gee, Mavis, your house is across the street. That's an awfully long way to go for making out."
Billy,"Gee, Mavis, your house is across the street. That's an awfully long way to go for making out.",Narrator,"They're trapped! Trapped in a soft, vice-like grip of robot lips. All civilisation was just an effort to impress the opposite sex ... and sometimes the same sex. Now, let's skip forward 80 years into the future. Where is Billy?"
Narrator,"They're trapped! Trapped in a soft, vice-like grip of robot lips. All civilisation was just an effort to impress the opposite sex ... and sometimes the same sex. Now, let's skip forward 80 years into the future. Where is Billy?",Billy,Farewell!
Billy,Farewell!,Narrator,Have you guessed the name of Billy's planet? It was Earth. Don't date robots!
Narrator,Have you guessed the name of Billy's planet? It was Earth. Don't date robots!,Announcer,Brought to you by the Space Pope.
Announcer,Brought to you by the Space Pope.,Leela,"Did that make any impression on you, Fry? Fry?"
Leela,"Did that make any impression on you, Fry? Fry?",Liubot,Ooh!
Liubot,Ooh!,Bender,"What is the world coming to? That Fry's a sicko poivert, I tell you. Dating a robot! It's an atrosmacy!"
Bender,"What is the world coming to? That Fry's a sicko poivert, I tell you. Dating a robot! It's an atrosmacy!",Leela,"But Fry's our friend, Bender."
Leela,"But Fry's our friend, Bender.",Bender,"Aw, jeez, would you stifle there, meatbag?"
Bender,"Aw, jeez, would you stifle there, meatbag?",Leela,"You stifle, Bender."
Leela,"You stifle, Bender.",Zoidberg,Hooray! Finally you're standing up to him.
Zoidberg,Hooray! Finally you're standing up to him.,Leela,completely right.
Leela,completely right.,Bender,We've got to stem this tidal wave of moral decay. It's time to shut down nappster.com!
Bender,We've got to stem this tidal wave of moral decay. It's time to shut down nappster.com!,Bender,Who's in charge of this dump?
Bender,Who's in charge of this dump?,Jeff,Jervis: That'd be me. If you're an investor you can dump your money in the hole there.
Jeff,Jervis: That'd be me. If you're an investor you can dump your money in the hole there.,Bender,"Listen, you fat Internet nerd."
Bender,"Listen, you fat Internet nerd.",Jeff,Jervis: Listening.
Jeff,Jervis: Listening.,Bender,love! If you don't shut down right now the only thing wired about you will be your jaw!
Bender,love! If you don't shut down right now the only thing wired about you will be your jaw!,Jeff,Jervis: Y-You can't shut us down. The Internet is about the free exchange and sale of other people's ideas. We've done nothing wrong.
Jeff,Jervis: Y-You can't shut us down. The Internet is about the free exchange and sale of other people's ideas. We've done nothing wrong.,Liu,Help! I'm being held prisoner!
Liu,Help! I'm being held prisoner!,Zoidberg,Someone in trouble is!
Zoidberg,Someone in trouble is!,Jeff,"Jervis: No, stay out! There's a ... guy going for the Tetris world record in there!"
Jeff,"Jervis: No, stay out! There's a ... guy going for the Tetris world record in there!",Kidman,Who are you?
Kidman,Who are you?,Cheech,Don't hurt us!
Cheech,Don't hurt us!,Liu,Help me! They've been holding me prisoner for 800 years.
Liu,Help me! They've been holding me prisoner for 800 years.,Zoidberg,The real Lucy Liu! The one you can see a movie of in the popcorn stadium.
Zoidberg,The real Lucy Liu! The one you can see a movie of in the popcorn stadium.,Bender,So what's your problem?
Bender,So what's your problem?,Liu,It hurts!
Liu,It hurts!,Jeff,Jervis: Open this door! Don't make me call the maintenance guy.
Jeff,Jervis: Open this door! Don't make me call the maintenance guy.,Bender,It's a bluff!
Bender,It's a bluff!,Leela,"We can't take that chance. Move, people, move!"
Leela,"We can't take that chance. Move, people, move!",Michael,Please pick me up before you go-go.
Michael,Please pick me up before you go-go.,Leela,She asked first.
Leela,She asked first.,Nerd,"Um, are you Lucy Liu?"
Nerd,"Um, are you Lucy Liu?",Albright-bot,Sure!
Albright-bot,Sure!,Jeff,"Jervis: Oh, we're doomed. They got the head, they uncovered the sign! Soon the whole world will learn we're cyber-criminals. And we would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling adults."
Jeff,"Jervis: Oh, we're doomed. They got the head, they uncovered the sign! Soon the whole world will learn we're cyber-criminals. And we would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling adults.",Man,"We'll stop them. They like Lucy Liu, we'll give them all the Lucy Liu they can handle! Hand me that back-up disk."
Man,"We'll stop them. They like Lucy Liu, we'll give them all the Lucy Liu they can handle! Hand me that back-up disk.",Zoidberg,Did you see me escaping? I was all like--
Zoidberg,Did you see me escaping? I was all like--,Liu,"Mmm. Quite a masculine piece of metal, aren't you?"
Liu,"Mmm. Quite a masculine piece of metal, aren't you?",Bender,"Hey! Don't look at me like that. If you're thinking of crossing the line with Bender, you can forget it. Bender don't bend that way."
Bender,"Hey! Don't look at me like that. If you're thinking of crossing the line with Bender, you can forget it. Bender don't bend that way.",Leela,"Hey, look. It's another Lucy Liubot."
Leela,"Hey, look. It's another Lucy Liubot.",Liubot,#2: I am Lucy Liu. Give me your spines.
Liubot,#2: I am Lucy Liu. Give me your spines.,Zoidberg,"Hey, what the--"
Zoidberg,"Hey, what the--",Liubot,#2: Take this and that and one of these.
Liubot,#2: Take this and that and one of these.,Liu,Hey! Cut it out! I don't need this kind of publicity!
Liu,Hey! Cut it out! I don't need this kind of publicity!,Leela,"Alright, Liu. Time to kick your frosty, well-toned ass! Yah!"
Leela,"Alright, Liu. Time to kick your frosty, well-toned ass! Yah!",Bender,Then along came Bender.
Bender,Then along came Bender.,Zoidberg,Looks like you're retaining water.
Zoidberg,Looks like you're retaining water.,Liu,"That was incredible, Bender. You're like Jackie Chan before he got all doughy."
Liu,"That was incredible, Bender. You're like Jackie Chan before he got all doughy.",Bender,It's an army of Lucy Lius!
Bender,It's an army of Lucy Lius!,Liu,They're horrible!
Liu,They're horrible!,Liubots,Take this and that and one of these.
Liubots,Take this and that and one of these.,Liubot,#3: Robot crouching tiger.
Liubot,#3: Robot crouching tiger.,Liubot,#4: Robot crane style!
Liubot,#4: Robot crane style!,Zapp,Now that's a wave of destruction that's easy on the eyes!
Zapp,Now that's a wave of destruction that's easy on the eyes!,Liubot,#5: Hi-yah.
Liubot,#5: Hi-yah.,Fry,an explosion!
Fry,an explosion!,Liubot,notice two things.
Liubot,notice two things.,Alex,"No, don't open that coffin! It's ticking!"
Alex,"No, don't open that coffin! It's ticking!",Natalie,"I have to, Alex. That coffin's not going to open itself."
Natalie,"I have to, Alex. That coffin's not going to open itself.",Vampire,Bleurh!
Vampire,Bleurh!,Liu,Let's hide in here. It'll add to my box office gross.
Liu,Let's hide in here. It'll add to my box office gross.,Leela,Fry?
Leela,Fry?,Fry,Wait a minute! Is that the head of who I think it's of?
Fry,Wait a minute! Is that the head of who I think it's of?,Liu,"Read the jar, Evelyn Wood! Dr. Z?"
Liu,"Read the jar, Evelyn Wood! Dr. Z?",Leela,"Fry, a herd of Lucy Liu are destroying the city. Is yours acting normally?"
Leela,"Fry, a herd of Lucy Liu are destroying the city. Is yours acting normally?",Fry,Yep. Why do you ask?
Fry,Yep. Why do you ask?,Alex,"Mr. Mayor, if you want to see a real vampire, look in the mirror!"
Alex,"Mr. Mayor, if you want to see a real vampire, look in the mirror!",Mayor,I can't! I'm a vampire!
Mayor,I can't! I'm a vampire!,Zoidberg,Why?
Zoidberg,Why?,Leela,And Nappster says illegal copies never hurt anybody.
Leela,And Nappster says illegal copies never hurt anybody.,Fry,Quick! This way!
Fry,Quick! This way!,Fry,"Sorry, ladies. Employees only."
Fry,"Sorry, ladies. Employees only.",Leela,"Oh, no. They're forming a human pyramid ... of robots."
Leela,"Oh, no. They're forming a human pyramid ... of robots.",Bender,Damnit! We weren't counting on them being as smart as they are sexy!
Bender,Damnit! We weren't counting on them being as smart as they are sexy!,Liu,mistake to make.
Liu,mistake to make.,Zoidberg,At least we've got food.
Zoidberg,At least we've got food.,Leela,"Dr. Zoidberg, cut open that bag!"
Leela,"Dr. Zoidberg, cut open that bag!",Zoidberg,Hooray!
Zoidberg,Hooray!,Leela,And don't eat it.
Leela,And don't eat it.,Liubot,#2: Ow!
Liubot,#2: Ow!,Liubot,#3: System overload!
Liubot,#3: System overload!,Liubot,#4: Error!
Liubot,#4: Error!,Liubot,#5: Does not compute.
Liubot,#5: Does not compute.,Zoidberg,Life was bad but now it's good forever!
Zoidberg,Life was bad but now it's good forever!,Bender,"Get lost, Pavarotti!"
Bender,"Get lost, Pavarotti!",Fry,"Lucy Liubot, if I don't survive the corn, I want you to know that I love you as much as a man can love a computerised image of gorgeous celebrity. Which it turns out is a lot."
Fry,"Lucy Liubot, if I don't survive the corn, I want you to know that I love you as much as a man can love a computerised image of gorgeous celebrity. Which it turns out is a lot.",Liubot,poetic image number 37 not found.
Liubot,poetic image number 37 not found.,Fry,"What are you doing, darling? Get down!"
Fry,"What are you doing, darling? Get down!",Liubot,#3: Light hot. Oil temperature rising.
Liubot,#3: Light hot. Oil temperature rising.,Liubot,"#4: Oh, no."
Liubot,"#4: Oh, no.",Liubot,#5: Malfunction.
Liubot,#5: Malfunction.,Liubot,#6: This ain't good.
Liubot,#6: This ain't good.,Liubot,#7: System error.
Liubot,#7: System error.,Fry,You saved us. Are you alright?
Fry,You saved us. Are you alright?,Liubot,massive corn clog in port seven.
Liubot,massive corn clog in port seven.,Liu,Are you the last copy of me?
Liu,Are you the last copy of me?,Liubot,Yes.
Liubot,Yes.,Liu,"Erase her, Fry."
Liu,"Erase her, Fry.",Fry?,No!
Fry?,No!,Liu,"Fry, when you downloaded her without my permission, you stole my image, and in the end that's all I really have. That and the largest gold nugget in the world, one mile in diameter."
Liu,"Fry, when you downloaded her without my permission, you stole my image, and in the end that's all I really have. That and the largest gold nugget in the world, one mile in diameter.",Fry,But I just downloaded her because I love you.
Fry,But I just downloaded her because I love you.,Liu,"magazine, you'll blank out that robot."
Liu,"magazine, you'll blank out that robot.",Fry,"I'm sorry. Hug me, Liubot."
Fry,"I'm sorry. Hug me, Liubot.",Liubot,Memory deleted.
Liubot,Memory deleted.,Bender,"I know it hurts, buddy. But at least you're not in a sick relationship with a robot anymore."
Bender,"I know it hurts, buddy. But at least you're not in a sick relationship with a robot anymore.",Fry,Uh-huh. And I guess now maybe I can get to know the real Lucy Liu.
Fry,Uh-huh. And I guess now maybe I can get to know the real Lucy Liu.,Bender,"Pft! Yeah, at our wedding!"
Bender,"Pft! Yeah, at our wedding!",Liu,It's true. Bender and I are in love.
Liu,It's true. Bender and I are in love.,Fry,"But, but--"
Fry,"But, but--",Bender,"Don't be a prude, Fry!"
Bender,"Don't be a prude, Fry!",Leela,"Oh, put down the binoculars, Fry. The wall of that strip club isn't going to collapse twice in one day."
Leela,"Oh, put down the binoculars, Fry. The wall of that strip club isn't going to collapse twice in one day.",Fry,"I know, and I've grown to accept that. Now I'm more interested in that new pizza parlour across the street. Kinda makes me pine for my days as a pizza delivery boy. Here's you pizza, I'd say. I didn't order any, they'd say. And then I'd be off to my next adventure."
Fry,"I know, and I've grown to accept that. Now I'm more interested in that new pizza parlour across the street. Kinda makes me pine for my days as a pizza delivery boy. Here's you pizza, I'd say. I didn't order any, they'd say. And then I'd be off to my next adventure.",Leela,I think the owner is from Cygnus 5.
Leela,I think the owner is from Cygnus 5.,Farnsworth,Cygnoids? On our block? Flying foo! They should go back where they came from.
Farnsworth,Cygnoids? On our block? Flying foo! They should go back where they came from.,Leela,"Professor, please! Society's never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other. Now let's go over there and make these hideous strangers feel welcome."
Leela,"Professor, please! Society's never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other. Now let's go over there and make these hideous strangers feel welcome.",Farnsworth,No!
Farnsworth,No!,Blek,at knee.
Blek,at knee.,Blek,"Welcome to Earth pizza store. Here, sit. I bend knees for you."
Blek,"Welcome to Earth pizza store. Here, sit. I bend knees for you.",Bender,Ooh! That's a-comfy!
Bender,Ooh! That's a-comfy!,Blek,Silt? Asbestos? We got guano -- very fresh!
Blek,Silt? Asbestos? We got guano -- very fresh!,Blek,Contains four kind of things.
Blek,Contains four kind of things.,Leela,"I don't mean to offend, but this tastes like vomit."
Leela,"I don't mean to offend, but this tastes like vomit.",Cygnoid,Woman: Thank you.
Cygnoid,Woman: Thank you.,Leela,"No, actually, I did mean to offend a little. This is awful."
Leela,"No, actually, I did mean to offend a little. This is awful.",Fry,"Hey, hey. What's wrong? Was it something Leela said?"
Fry,"Hey, hey. What's wrong? Was it something Leela said?",Cygnoid,"Woman: We come to Earth to start new life. Raise fat spoiled Earth kids, hang many underwear from Earth clothesline, live Earthican dream."
Cygnoid,"Woman: We come to Earth to start new life. Raise fat spoiled Earth kids, hang many underwear from Earth clothesline, live Earthican dream.",Fry,"Aw. Don't cry, foreign people. I used to work in a pizzeria and as soon as I stop hallucinating and blasting puke, I'm gonna teach you to sell pizza, Earth style!"
Fry,"Aw. Don't cry, foreign people. I used to work in a pizzeria and as soon as I stop hallucinating and blasting puke, I'm gonna teach you to sell pizza, Earth style!",Cygnoid,"Woman: Oh, thank you, magic biped!"
Cygnoid,"Woman: Oh, thank you, magic biped!",Blek,"You save us, a-sir. If we cannot make Earth pizza our dream will die. Just like rats we crushed to make the wine."
Blek,"You save us, a-sir. If we cannot make Earth pizza our dream will die. Just like rats we crushed to make the wine.",Fry,"Oregano works equally well. And when you put pizzas in the oven, don't get in with them."
Fry,"Oregano works equally well. And when you put pizzas in the oven, don't get in with them.",Cygnoid,#2!
Cygnoid,#2!,Fry,"Ah, the Earthican pastime: Blernsball!"
Fry,"Ah, the Earthican pastime: Blernsball!",Uecker,"Mulligan drives the ball. It's going, going and caught by the shortstop. Mets lose again. Man, I haven't seen play this bad since the days of Bob Uecker! This is Bob Uecker saying thanks for watching!"
Uecker,"Mulligan drives the ball. It's going, going and caught by the shortstop. Mets lose again. Man, I haven't seen play this bad since the days of Bob Uecker! This is Bob Uecker saying thanks for watching!",Blek,Mets? Shortstop? Pinching the hitter? I don't understand this blernsball.
Blek,Mets? Shortstop? Pinching the hitter? I don't understand this blernsball.,Fry,"Well, if you're going to be Earthicans, we'll have to teach you. How about your pizzeria plays a game against Planet Express? Oh, but you'll need nine players."
Fry,"Well, if you're going to be Earthicans, we'll have to teach you. How about your pizzeria plays a game against Planet Express? Oh, but you'll need nine players.",Cygnoid,Woman: No problem!
Cygnoid,Woman: No problem!,Cygnoid,#2: Play the ball!
Cygnoid,#2: Play the ball!,Farnsworth,"Go, team! Beat those no good Cygnoids! Show them they stink at a game they've never played before!"
Farnsworth,"Go, team! Beat those no good Cygnoids! Show them they stink at a game they've never played before!",Blek,"Ah, this is why I love Earth! Beautiful star-brightened day, friendly blernsball game with chum pals! So pleasant for everybody."
Blek,"Ah, this is why I love Earth! Beautiful star-brightened day, friendly blernsball game with chum pals! So pleasant for everybody.",Scruffy,Hit by a pitch. Take your base.
Scruffy,Hit by a pitch. Take your base.,Leela,Sorry about that. I guess I needed a few more warm-up pitches.
Leela,Sorry about that. I guess I needed a few more warm-up pitches.,Bender,No batter anymore.
Bender,No batter anymore.,Scruffy,Take your base.
Scruffy,Take your base.,Leela,I didn't mean to hit you. I have some trouble with depth perception.
Leela,I didn't mean to hit you. I have some trouble with depth perception.,Cygnoid,"#2: Yeah, me too now."
Cygnoid,"#2: Yeah, me too now.",Bender,Duck!
Bender,Duck!,Scruffy,Take your base.
Scruffy,Take your base.,Cygnoid,"#3: Please, lady, I want to live. Can I use bat to protect head?"
Cygnoid,"#3: Please, lady, I want to live. Can I use bat to protect head?",Bender,Apparently not.
Bender,Apparently not.,Man,Check out the one-eyed bean machine!
Man,Check out the one-eyed bean machine!,Blek,Hooray! I make a score point!
Blek,Hooray! I make a score point!,Fry,"Leela, you beaned a run-in. You'd better let me pitch."
Fry,"Leela, you beaned a run-in. You'd better let me pitch.",Leela,You're right. Here.
Leela,You're right. Here.,Randy,"Don't take her out, she's a firecracker!"
Randy,"Don't take her out, she's a firecracker!",Doubledeal,"Excuse me, I'd like to talk to you."
Doubledeal,"Excuse me, I'd like to talk to you.",Leela,Am I under arrest?
Leela,Am I under arrest?,Bender,Wait! I know you. You're the sleazebag who owns the Ultimate Robot Fighting League.
Bender,Wait! I know you. You're the sleazebag who owns the Ultimate Robot Fighting League.,Doubledeal,Not anymore. Now I'm the sleazebag who owns the New New York Mets.
Doubledeal,Not anymore. Now I'm the sleazebag who owns the New New York Mets.,Leela,The Mets? Those bums are worse than me.
Leela,The Mets? Those bums are worse than me.,Doubledeal,don't draw a crowd like you. Which is why I wanna sign you to the team.
Doubledeal,don't draw a crowd like you. Which is why I wanna sign you to the team.,Leela,You mean I'd be the first woman ever to play Major League Blernsball?
Leela,You mean I'd be the first woman ever to play Major League Blernsball?,Commissioner,"Well, yeah, but basically you'd just be a publicity stunt. I figure a one-eyed lady skull-buster might bring out the freakshow crowd."
Commissioner,"Well, yeah, but basically you'd just be a publicity stunt. I figure a one-eyed lady skull-buster might bring out the freakshow crowd.",Leela,to play Major League Blernsball.
Leela,to play Major League Blernsball.,Commissioner,"Again, yeah, but basically you'd just be--"
Commissioner,"Again, yeah, but basically you'd just be--",Leela,Ta-da! The first woman ever to play Major League Blernsball. How do I look?
Leela,Ta-da! The first woman ever to play Major League Blernsball. How do I look?,Hermes,Like a sexy Yogi Berra!
Hermes,Like a sexy Yogi Berra!,Farnsworth,Why is your number seven-eighth's?
Farnsworth,Why is your number seven-eighth's?,Leela,All the whole numbers have been retired.
Leela,All the whole numbers have been retired.,Fry,"Wow! I must say, I'm impressed. You look just like a ball player. Can I pat you on the butt?"
Fry,"Wow! I must say, I'm impressed. You look just like a ball player. Can I pat you on the butt?",Leela,"Fry, I'm a professional athlete! So go ahead."
Leela,"Fry, I'm a professional athlete! So go ahead.",Fry,Oh! Now I'm too nervous.
Fry,Oh! Now I'm too nervous.,Uecker,"Well, folks, it's only the fifth inning but the Swedes have already turned this one into a laffer. And that's with two F's. The crowd is pouring out of the stadium L.A.-style."
Uecker,"Well, folks, it's only the fifth inning but the Swedes have already turned this one into a laffer. And that's with two F's. The crowd is pouring out of the stadium L.A.-style.",Doubledeal,"Skipper, we're losing the crowd. Put it our new novelty act: Leela."
Doubledeal,"Skipper, we're losing the crowd. Put it our new novelty act: Leela.",Skipper,Darn it! I already put in the circus clown.
Skipper,Darn it! I already put in the circus clown.,Doubledeal,"Yeah, but he bunted. Clowns are only funny when they swing away."
Doubledeal,"Yeah, but he bunted. Clowns are only funny when they swing away.",Announcer,A one-eyed woman.
Announcer,A one-eyed woman.,Woman,Come on! Throw like a girl!
Woman,Come on! Throw like a girl!,Fry,"Go, Leela!"
Fry,"Go, Leela!",Bender,"Come on, girl!"
Bender,"Come on, girl!",Amy,Too much eyeliner!
Amy,Too much eyeliner!,Uecker,"This is history in the making, folks. Bjornson steps up to the plate and Leela delivers."
Uecker,"This is history in the making, folks. Bjornson steps up to the plate and Leela delivers.",Bender,Bullseye!
Bender,Bullseye!,Uecker,An inauspicious continuation for the career of the first woman blernsballer.
Uecker,An inauspicious continuation for the career of the first woman blernsballer.,Crowd,Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean!
Crowd,Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean!,Uecker,"Ouch! It's a three-bean-ball salad. The Mets fans love it though, and who can blame them? They haven't had much to cheer about this year--"
Uecker,"Ouch! It's a three-bean-ball salad. The Mets fans love it though, and who can blame them? They haven't had much to cheer about this year--",Doubledeal,"Kid, that was great! You got us more publicity than a cowboy in a shark tank. Poor Tex, he was quite a shark."
Doubledeal,"Kid, that was great! You got us more publicity than a cowboy in a shark tank. Poor Tex, he was quite a shark.",Man,#1: Hey!
Man,#1: Hey!,Man,#2: Hey!
Man,#2: Hey!,Man,#3: Come on!
Man,#3: Come on!,Man,#4: I win!
Man,#4: I win!,Bender,Oop! Sorry.
Bender,Oop! Sorry.,Leela,"Bender, how did you get in here?"
Leela,"Bender, how did you get in here?",Bender,"As your agent, I have access to you at all times."
Bender,"As your agent, I have access to you at all times.",Leela,my agent?
Leela,my agent?,Bender?,A big endorsement deal for Leela? How much? Hey! You put a one and two zeroes in front of that or we pass! Deal!
Bender?,A big endorsement deal for Leela? How much? Hey! You put a one and two zeroes in front of that or we pass! Deal!,Leela,"Bender, that's great! How much did you get me?"
Leela,"Bender, that's great! How much did you get me?",Bender,One hundred dollars.
Bender,One hundred dollars.,Leela,"As a pitcher, I serve up plenty of bean balls. So I know good beans when I see them. Bean-Bay Beans: They're the beaniest!"
Leela,"As a pitcher, I serve up plenty of bean balls. So I know good beans when I see them. Bean-Bay Beans: They're the beaniest!",Director,#1: Cut!
Director,#1: Cut!,Uecker,"In very short order, Leela has become a fan favourite."
Uecker,"In very short order, Leela has become a fan favourite.",Bender,What's that? Hey! You put a one and two zeroes in front of that or we pass! Deal!
Bender,What's that? Hey! You put a one and two zeroes in front of that or we pass! Deal!,Leela,So what did you get me?
Leela,So what did you get me?,Bender,A thousand and one pesos!
Bender,A thousand and one pesos!,Director,"#2: Cut! OK, now do one with bean suit on!"
Director,"#2: Cut! OK, now do one with bean suit on!",Blek,Leela really bringing in the customers.
Blek,Leela really bringing in the customers.,Cygnoid,"Woman: This keep up, we need to buy second sauce toilet."
Cygnoid,"Woman: This keep up, we need to buy second sauce toilet.",Girl,"When I grow up I want to injure men by throwing stuff at them just like you, Leela. Will you sign my magazine?"
Girl,"When I grow up I want to injure men by throwing stuff at them just like you, Leela. Will you sign my magazine?",Leela,"Aw! Sure thing, sweetie. Who should I make it out to?"
Leela,"Aw! Sure thing, sweetie. Who should I make it out to?",Girl,"Well, uh ... to eBay?"
Girl,"Well, uh ... to eBay?",Leela,That's a popular name today. Little e big B?
Leela,That's a popular name today. Little e big B?,Bender,"Five bucks an autograph, 200 fans. Add a one and two zeros in front of that and we got ourselves a wad!"
Bender,"Five bucks an autograph, 200 fans. Add a one and two zeros in front of that and we got ourselves a wad!",Leela,I'm not doing this for the wad. I'm doing it for all the struggling female athletes who need a role model.
Leela,I'm not doing this for the wad. I'm doing it for all the struggling female athletes who need a role model.,Woman,Yeah! A role model for how to stink!
Woman,Yeah! A role model for how to stink!,Leela,What? Who are you?
Leela,What? Who are you?,Woman,Jackie Anderson. I'm on the blernsball team at NNYU and I was hoping to get to play in the majors soon.
Woman,Jackie Anderson. I'm on the blernsball team at NNYU and I was hoping to get to play in the majors soon.,Leela,"Oh, following in my footsteps?"
Leela,"Oh, following in my footsteps?",Jackie,female ball players to be taken seriously. I hope you're proud of yourself.
Jackie,female ball players to be taken seriously. I hope you're proud of yourself.,Bender,"Alright, show's over. No refunds. You heard the robot. Get out!"
Bender,"Alright, show's over. No refunds. You heard the robot. Get out!",Leela,me.
Leela,me.,Amy,"Don't be upset, Leela. You, um ... you look really cute in your uniform."
Amy,"Don't be upset, Leela. You, um ... you look really cute in your uniform.",Leela,I was doing something heroic.
Leela,I was doing something heroic.,Bender,You are. What about that little girl you visited in the hospital? You know the one I mean? The one who died?
Bender,You are. What about that little girl you visited in the hospital? You know the one I mean? The one who died?,Leela,become the best blernsball player of all time.
Leela,become the best blernsball player of all time.,Hermes,blernsball player of all time.
Hermes,blernsball player of all time.,Leela,Oh. Then I have a new vow. I solemnly swear that I will become not the worst blernsball player of all time.
Leela,Oh. Then I have a new vow. I solemnly swear that I will become not the worst blernsball player of all time.,Fry,"Hey, look! The players who broke the various colour barriers."
Fry,"Hey, look! The players who broke the various colour barriers.",Bender,When will Man learn that all races are equally inferior to robots?
Bender,When will Man learn that all races are equally inferior to robots?,Leela,"Ah, here we are. The worst player in history. If I can be just a little better than him I can slink away with my head held high."
Leela,"Ah, here we are. The worst player in history. If I can be just a little better than him I can slink away with my head held high.",Bender,It says he once struck out when his tongue got stuck to an unusually cold bat.
Bender,It says he once struck out when his tongue got stuck to an unusually cold bat.,Fry,And here he is trying to make a catch with an oven mitt.
Fry,And here he is trying to make a catch with an oven mitt.,Leela,It's even a crummy hologram.
Leela,It's even a crummy hologram.,Aaron,Jr. Hank Aaron XXIV.
Aaron,Jr. Hank Aaron XXIV.,Fry,Hank Aaron XXIV? How could you play so blowfully? The original Hank Aaron was great!
Fry,Hank Aaron XXIV? How could you play so blowfully? The original Hank Aaron was great!,Aaron,Sr.!
Aaron,Sr.!,Bender,Neat!
Bender,Neat!,Leela,"So, Hank-- The bad Hank. Just how blowful were you?"
Leela,"So, Hank-- The bad Hank. Just how blowful were you?",Aaron,"Jr.: Well, I had a low batting average."
Aaron,"Jr.: Well, I had a low batting average.",Aaron,"Sr.: Low? It was zero, you fungo! You went your whole career without getting a hit."
Aaron,"Sr.: Low? It was zero, you fungo! You went your whole career without getting a hit.",Fry,Leela could beat that. She's pitched her whole career without getting an out.
Fry,Leela could beat that. She's pitched her whole career without getting an out.,Aaron,"Sr.: You stink, lady! Hey, Junior, she belongs in the exhibit instead of you."
Aaron,"Sr.: You stink, lady! Hey, Junior, she belongs in the exhibit instead of you.",Aaron,"Jr. Ah, Wade Boggs! Goes down smooth!"
Aaron,"Jr. Ah, Wade Boggs! Goes down smooth!",Leela,"Look, I don't wanna be in this exhibit. That's why I need your help. So I can be one tiny iota less pathetic than you."
Leela,"Look, I don't wanna be in this exhibit. That's why I need your help. So I can be one tiny iota less pathetic than you.",Aaron,"Jr.: Oh, I can't help you play better than Tiny Iota. That guy was great. But I'll teach you everything I know."
Aaron,"Jr.: Oh, I can't help you play better than Tiny Iota. That guy was great. But I'll teach you everything I know.",Aaron,"Jr.: OK, let's see what you can do."
Aaron,"Jr.: OK, let's see what you can do.",Bender,One thing she can do is lodge a ball in the depth centre of your brain. You better get a batting helmet.
Bender,One thing she can do is lodge a ball in the depth centre of your brain. You better get a batting helmet.,Leela,Alright. Low and away.
Leela,Alright. Low and away.,Aaron,Jr. the ball.
Aaron,Jr. the ball.,Leela,the ball?
Leela,the ball?,Aaron,"Jr.: Hey, lady, which one of us is in the hall of fame?"
Aaron,"Jr.: Hey, lady, which one of us is in the hall of fame?",Fry,Pst. You're holding the bat upside down.
Fry,Pst. You're holding the bat upside down.,Aaron,Jr.: Just pitch the ball.
Aaron,Jr.: Just pitch the ball.,Leela,OK. Eye off the ball.
Leela,OK. Eye off the ball.,Bender,Strike!
Bender,Strike!,Fry,Hooray!
Fry,Hooray!,Aaron,"Jr.: You did it, Leela!"
Aaron,"Jr.: You did it, Leela!",Leela,I didn't hit the batter! For once I was pitching and not just belly-itching!
Leela,I didn't hit the batter! For once I was pitching and not just belly-itching!,Aaron,"Jr.: Oh, you got that too? I think there's a rash goin' around."
Aaron,"Jr.: Oh, you got that too? I think there's a rash goin' around.",Uecker,"Welcome to Fenway Park, home of the Boston Poindexters, where the Mets close out a season that'll rank among Mankind's most awful crimes."
Uecker,"Welcome to Fenway Park, home of the Boston Poindexters, where the Mets close out a season that'll rank among Mankind's most awful crimes.",Fry,Hey! You opened a franchise!
Fry,Hey! You opened a franchise!,Cygnoid,"Woman: Yes. Our biggest seller is Leela's Bean Pizza. Six kinds of beans, plus several things that look like beans."
Cygnoid,"Woman: Yes. Our biggest seller is Leela's Bean Pizza. Six kinds of beans, plus several things that look like beans.",Gilman,"Beans, huh? Mmm. This is great! How to you make the crust so fizzy?"
Gilman,"Beans, huh? Mmm. This is great! How to you make the crust so fizzy?",Blek,Ah-ah-ah! Ancient Cygnoid secret!
Blek,Ah-ah-ah! Ancient Cygnoid secret!,Cygnoid,Woman Live hornets! We smush them right into dough!
Cygnoid,Woman Live hornets! We smush them right into dough!,Gilman,I don't care if there's horse manure in it!
Gilman,I don't care if there's horse manure in it!,Blek,That's a-good!
Blek,That's a-good!,Gilman,"I wanna buy this franchise. How does $100,000 sound?"
Gilman,"I wanna buy this franchise. How does $100,000 sound?",Blek,"Forget it! We come to Earth to make pizza, not money."
Blek,"Forget it! We come to Earth to make pizza, not money.",Cygnoid,"Woman: No, Blek! Other way around!"
Cygnoid,"Woman: No, Blek! Other way around!",Blek,"Oh, right. Offer accepted!"
Blek,"Oh, right. Offer accepted!",Uecker,"Well, fans, Boston's turning the last game into a real squeeeker! And that's with three e's! Two men on and they're down to their last out."
Uecker,"Well, fans, Boston's turning the last game into a real squeeeker! And that's with three e's! Two men on and they're down to their last out.",Leela,put me in.
Leela,put me in.,Skipper,"Aw, darn, darn darn! Now the bases are loaded! Isn't there a man on this team who can get one more out?"
Skipper,"Aw, darn, darn darn! Now the bases are loaded! Isn't there a man on this team who can get one more out?",Leela,I can.
Leela,I can.,Skipper,on this team on this--
Skipper,on this team on this--,Leela,I've been training with Hank Aaron.
Leela,I've been training with Hank Aaron.,Skipper,Hank Aaron?
Skipper,Hank Aaron?,Leela,Hank Aaron.
Leela,Hank Aaron.,Skipper,Alright then. Get in there and pitch like you've never pitched like you before!
Skipper,Alright then. Get in there and pitch like you've never pitched like you before!,Announcer,Now pitching for the Mets: Turanga Leela.
Announcer,Now pitching for the Mets: Turanga Leela.,Crowd,"Go, Leela!"
Crowd,"Go, Leela!",Farnsworth,"Go, Leela!"
Farnsworth,"Go, Leela!",Amy,"Come on, Leela!"
Amy,"Come on, Leela!",Bender,Put it right down the pike!
Bender,Put it right down the pike!,Fry,"Strike him out, Leela! Do it for the hundreds of women everywhere!"
Fry,"Strike him out, Leela! Do it for the hundreds of women everywhere!",Announcer,Your attention: Now pinch-hitting for the Poindexters: Jackie Anderson.
Announcer,Your attention: Now pinch-hitting for the Poindexters: Jackie Anderson.,Uecker,"Would you look at that! College blernsball's finest female hitter making her big league debut against pro-ball's worst female anything. I've never seen anything this bizarre, and I've seen Mr. Belvedere naked! Woo!"
Uecker,"Would you look at that! College blernsball's finest female hitter making her big league debut against pro-ball's worst female anything. I've never seen anything this bizarre, and I've seen Mr. Belvedere naked! Woo!",Leela,Keep cool. She's just like any other player. She puts on her sports bra one arm at a time.
Leela,Keep cool. She's just like any other player. She puts on her sports bra one arm at a time.,Umpire,Strike one!
Umpire,Strike one!,Leela,"Strike one, a personal best!"
Leela,"Strike one, a personal best!",Umpire,Strike two!
Umpire,Strike two!,Uecker,And yet tonight we have witnessed the beginning of a great career for the first woman to play the sport well -- Jackie Anderson!
Uecker,And yet tonight we have witnessed the beginning of a great career for the first woman to play the sport well -- Jackie Anderson!,Jackie,Leela?
Jackie,Leela?,Leela,Jackie. I guess you were right. I'm a lousy role model. I'm sorry.
Leela,Jackie. I guess you were right. I'm a lousy role model. I'm sorry.,Jackie,"No, don't be. It turns out you were an inspiration after all."
Jackie,"No, don't be. It turns out you were an inspiration after all.",Leela,I was?
Leela,I was?,Jackie,"Uh-huh. You were so awful that women everywhere set out to prove they don't stink as bad as you. You know, like a pig or something."
Jackie,"Uh-huh. You were so awful that women everywhere set out to prove they don't stink as bad as you. You know, like a pig or something.",Leela,"Oh, that's so kind of you. I guess I made a difference after all."
Leela,"Oh, that's so kind of you. I guess I made a difference after all.",Jackie,"You absolutely did, Leela. Now please, please retire. Immediately."
Jackie,"You absolutely did, Leela. Now please, please retire. Immediately.",Leela,"Hey, kid. Catch!"
Leela,"Hey, kid. Catch!",Aaron,"Sr.: Well, at least you're still the worst football player of all time."
Aaron,"Sr.: Well, at least you're still the worst football player of all time.",Aaron,Jr.: Yeah. Yeah.
Aaron,Jr.: Yeah. Yeah.,Linda,"Up next, daring daylight robbery at a municipal swimming pool."
Linda,"Up next, daring daylight robbery at a municipal swimming pool.",Bender,Ooh! This is it! Turn me up!
Bender,Ooh! This is it! Turn me up!,Linda,"Earlier today, a foul-mouthed bandit robbed the municipal pool, making off with the contents of over three lockers."
Linda,"Earlier today, a foul-mouthed bandit robbed the municipal pool, making off with the contents of over three lockers.",Bender,More like three lockers and a sink!
Bender,More like three lockers and a sink!,Leela,Bender? Did you have something to do with this?
Leela,Bender? Did you have something to do with this?,Bender,Of course not.
Bender,Of course not.,Hermes,Holy spitz! He's sportin' skintight Speedos!
Hermes,Holy spitz! He's sportin' skintight Speedos!,Amy,They don't leave much to the imagination.
Amy,They don't leave much to the imagination.,Hermes,"Actually, on a robot, they sorta do."
Hermes,"Actually, on a robot, they sorta do.",Morbo,One puny human got a look at the robber...
Morbo,One puny human got a look at the robber...,Bender,Here we go. Here we go!
Bender,Here we go. Here we go!,Morbo,"Describing him as a short, nasty, muscular..."
Morbo,"Describing him as a short, nasty, muscular...",Bender,"Yeah, make me famous, big head!"
Bender,"Yeah, make me famous, big head!",Morbo,Caucasian human male.
Morbo,Caucasian human male.,Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Fry,Hey! Now what am I supposed to watch and drink all day?
Fry,Hey! Now what am I supposed to watch and drink all day?,Bender,This is an outrage. What's the point of pulling the biggest pool caper ever if nobody knows you did it?
Bender,This is an outrage. What's the point of pulling the biggest pool caper ever if nobody knows you did it?,Fry,"Well, there's the material rewards."
Fry,"Well, there's the material rewards.",Boy,Whee!
Boy,Whee!,Bender,It's Bender.
Bender,It's Bender.,Farnsworth,"Oh, fuff! Why bother remembering anything? You're just going to forget it five seconds later."
Farnsworth,"Oh, fuff! Why bother remembering anything? You're just going to forget it five seconds later.",Bender,"It's so unfair. A debonair robot with a zesty in-your-face outlook doomed to obscurity like the rest of you, especially Leela. If I died tomorrow, no one would even notice."
Bender,"It's so unfair. A debonair robot with a zesty in-your-face outlook doomed to obscurity like the rest of you, especially Leela. If I died tomorrow, no one would even notice.",Scruffy,"Boy, I've never seen him so down, or ever before."
Scruffy,"Boy, I've never seen him so down, or ever before.",Bender,"Hey, look! I'm stuck! But I haven't given up hope! Call a soft-news journalist!"
Bender,"Hey, look! I'm stuck! But I haven't given up hope! Call a soft-news journalist!",Woman,You're not stuck.
Woman,You're not stuck.,Bender,Shut up.
Bender,Shut up.,Bender,"Hey, everyone do The Bender! This move's called The Bender!"
Bender,"Hey, everyone do The Bender! This move's called The Bender!",Roller-Skater,"Yo, hotwheels. This circle's about free expression, not fascist moves!"
Roller-Skater,"Yo, hotwheels. This circle's about free expression, not fascist moves!",Bender,A blank wall! Fame is mine!
Bender,A blank wall! Fame is mine!,Bender,There. Now no one will forget how I lived or my attitude regarding butt.
Bender,There. Now no one will forget how I lived or my attitude regarding butt.,Sal,"Alrights, ladies, let's flush these artists lofts straights to hell!"
Sal,"Alrights, ladies, let's flush these artists lofts straights to hell!",Bender,No!
Bender,No!,Bender,I'm the first one to work. A new low.
Bender,I'm the first one to work. A new low.,All,Surprise!
All,Surprise!,Fry,"Happy funeral, Bender!"
Fry,"Happy funeral, Bender!",Bender,A surprise funeral? For me?
Bender,A surprise funeral? For me?,Fry,We just wanted to show you that you really will be remembered.
Fry,We just wanted to show you that you really will be remembered.,Zoidberg,Now if the deceased would kindly take his place of honour.
Zoidberg,Now if the deceased would kindly take his place of honour.,Bender,Ooh! Cushion-y! And a minibar!
Bender,Ooh! Cushion-y! And a minibar!,Fry,"Dearly beloved, we are here today to remember Bender, taken from us in the prime of life when he was crushed by a runaway semi driven by the Incredible Hulk."
Fry,"Dearly beloved, we are here today to remember Bender, taken from us in the prime of life when he was crushed by a runaway semi driven by the Incredible Hulk.",Bender,Aw! You knew my favourite cause of death.
Bender,Aw! You knew my favourite cause of death.,Fry,Now let us each remember the best things about Bender in our own way. Professor?
Fry,Now let us each remember the best things about Bender in our own way. Professor?,Farnsworth,Your standard bending unit is made of an iron-osmium alloy. But Bender was different. Bender had a point-04% nickel impurity.
Farnsworth,Your standard bending unit is made of an iron-osmium alloy. But Bender was different. Bender had a point-04% nickel impurity.,Bender,It's what made me me.
Bender,It's what made me me.,Hermes,"If you ever needed a small package brought into the country without a lot of X-raying and such, Bender always had a free body cavity."
Hermes,"If you ever needed a small package brought into the country without a lot of X-raying and such, Bender always had a free body cavity.",Bender,"Eh, the Professor's was better."
Bender,"Eh, the Professor's was better.",Leela,"Bender, shush. You're supposed to be dead."
Leela,"Bender, shush. You're supposed to be dead.",Bender,Say more about how great I am. And where's the crying? You people look like you're waiting for the bus.
Bender,Say more about how great I am. And where's the crying? You people look like you're waiting for the bus.,The,"pipes, the pipes are calling--"
The,"pipes, the pipes are calling--",Bender,Who-y-boy?
Bender,Who-y-boy?,Zoidberg,From glen to glen and down--
Zoidberg,From glen to glen and down--,Bender,"funeral, singing about some dead stiff named Danny-boy? You really are a massive bonehead."
Bender,"funeral, singing about some dead stiff named Danny-boy? You really are a massive bonehead.",Zoidberg,I'm expressing my sorrow.
Zoidberg,I'm expressing my sorrow.,Bender,Get lost! I'd say Don't quit your day job but you're awful at that too.
Bender,Get lost! I'd say Don't quit your day job but you're awful at that too.,Leela,We're trying our best.
Leela,We're trying our best.,Bender,"Your best is an idiot. Let's pick it up, people. So far it's been crap after crap! I croaked, now show me some love!"
Bender,"Your best is an idiot. Let's pick it up, people. So far it's been crap after crap! I croaked, now show me some love!",Amy,Bender was a truly special--
Amy,Bender was a truly special--,Bender,Louder and sadder.
Bender,Louder and sadder.,Amy,Bender was a truly special--
Amy,Bender was a truly special--,Bender,Next!
Bender,Next!,Preacherbot,Dear Lord--
Preacherbot,Dear Lord--,Bender,"Oh, next!"
Bender,"Oh, next!",Zoidberg,"Oh, Danny-boy--"
Zoidberg,"Oh, Danny-boy--",Bender,Come on! Surely there must be someone here who knows how great I was.
Bender,Come on! Surely there must be someone here who knows how great I was.,Fry,"Yes there is, Bender. Bender was a lot of things to a lot of people. But, looking back, the number one thing I can say about him is this, and simply this: Bender was my friend."
Fry,"Yes there is, Bender. Bender was a lot of things to a lot of people. But, looking back, the number one thing I can say about him is this, and simply this: Bender was my friend.",Bender,"I hope you're all happy. You've succeeded in convincing me life is worth living, by showing how bad my funeral will suck."
Bender,"I hope you're all happy. You've succeeded in convincing me life is worth living, by showing how bad my funeral will suck.",Amy,I know whose funeral we'll be attending next!
Amy,I know whose funeral we'll be attending next!,Farnsworth,"Oh, stop!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, stop!",Farnsworth,"News, everyone! Today you're going to Osiris 4 to deliver this enormous sandstone block."
Farnsworth,"News, everyone! Today you're going to Osiris 4 to deliver this enormous sandstone block.",Fry,I thought something looked different in here.
Fry,I thought something looked different in here.,Fry,Hi. We have a giant stone to deliver. Sign here.
Fry,Hi. We have a giant stone to deliver. Sign here.,Osiran,"Ah, very nice. Much like the 10 million identical stones used in the future tomb of our great Pharaoh Hermenthotip."
Osiran,"Ah, very nice. Much like the 10 million identical stones used in the future tomb of our great Pharaoh Hermenthotip.",Leela,Impressive. Who's building it?
Leela,Impressive. Who's building it?,Osiran,You.
Osiran,You.,Leela,Say again?
Leela,Say again?,Osiran,You are now slaves of the great Pharaoh Hermenthotip. Guards.
Osiran,You are now slaves of the great Pharaoh Hermenthotip. Guards.,Fry,Call it a hunch but I've got a bad feeling about this.
Fry,Call it a hunch but I've got a bad feeling about this.,Fry,You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work but they don't pay you or let you go.
Fry,You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work but they don't pay you or let you go.,Leela,thing about being a slave!
Leela,thing about being a slave!,Osiran,"Attention. You are now possessions of the great Pharaoh Hermenthotip, heir to the Tenth Dynasty, bringer of the good aspects of the annual floods."
Osiran,"Attention. You are now possessions of the great Pharaoh Hermenthotip, heir to the Tenth Dynasty, bringer of the good aspects of the annual floods.",Fry,Incredible. This place is just like the Ancient Egypt of my day.
Fry,Incredible. This place is just like the Ancient Egypt of my day.,Osiran,That is no coincidence. For our people visited your Egypt thousands of years ago.
Osiran,That is no coincidence. For our people visited your Egypt thousands of years ago.,Fry,"I knew it! Insane theories, one; regular theories, a billion."
Fry,"I knew it! Insane theories, one; regular theories, a billion.",Osiran,"We learned many things from the mighty Egyptians, such as pyramid-building, space travel and how to prepare our dead so as to scare Abbott and Costello."
Osiran,"We learned many things from the mighty Egyptians, such as pyramid-building, space travel and how to prepare our dead so as to scare Abbott and Costello.",Fry,Also Wolfman!
Fry,Also Wolfman!,Bender,Look at these swanky tombs! These people really know how to die.
Bender,Look at these swanky tombs! These people really know how to die.,Leela,Are you crazy? They worked thousands of people to death to make these stupid monuments.
Leela,Are you crazy? They worked thousands of people to death to make these stupid monuments.,Bender,I think I'm gonna like it here!
Bender,I think I'm gonna like it here!,Man,"#1: Yeah, I, uh, noticed your sign and I thought I'd come over here and look into getting involved in your program."
Man,"#1: Yeah, I, uh, noticed your sign and I thought I'd come over here and look into getting involved in your program.",Man,#2: What we do is make you starve to death.
Man,#2: What we do is make you starve to death.,Osiran,"One, two, three, pull!"
Osiran,"One, two, three, pull!",Australian,Man: Oh! Bloody chunder!
Australian,Man: Oh! Bloody chunder!,Bender,"Pick it up, people. We're enslaved here to do a job. Master? Do we have to count to three every time? Couldn't we just count to one. Or better yet one-half?"
Bender,"Pick it up, people. We're enslaved here to do a job. Master? Do we have to count to three every time? Couldn't we just count to one. Or better yet one-half?",Osiran,"One-half, pull!"
Osiran,"One-half, pull!",Bender,Now we're slavin'!
Bender,Now we're slavin'!,Bender,You call that motivating me? Don't just whip with your arms. The power comes from your hips. Like this.
Bender,You call that motivating me? Don't just whip with your arms. The power comes from your hips. Like this.,Leela,"Bender, quit giving the slave drivers pointers!"
Leela,"Bender, quit giving the slave drivers pointers!",Fry,Yeah. Remember who your real friends are.
Fry,Yeah. Remember who your real friends are.,Bender,Anopsis ... Pleotut ... Whatshisname. He was the greatest of all.
Bender,Anopsis ... Pleotut ... Whatshisname. He was the greatest of all.,Osiran,Pharaoh Hermenthotip approaches.
Osiran,Pharaoh Hermenthotip approaches.,Bender,Hurry! Hurry! Pharaoh's coming! Get that nose in place. Come on!
Bender,Hurry! Hurry! Pharaoh's coming! Get that nose in place. Come on!,Hermenthotip,Excellent work! I am very proud of all you slaves.
Hermenthotip,Excellent work! I am very proud of all you slaves.,Bender,Hermenthotip!
Bender,Hermenthotip!,Hermenthotip,"And now, I have a grand announcement. In honour of your achievement, you're all hereby--"
Hermenthotip,"And now, I have a grand announcement. In honour of your achievement, you're all hereby--",Bender,No!
Bender,No!,Hermenthotip,Tell the slaves they can all go--
Hermenthotip,Tell the slaves they can all go--,Bender,Go faster? I told them but they're so damn lazy.
Bender,Go faster? I told them but they're so damn lazy.,Hermenthotip,No. I mean they are all free--
Hermenthotip,No. I mean they are all free--,Bender,Free-loading off you? I agree.
Bender,Free-loading off you? I agree.,Hermenthotip,"No, I--"
Hermenthotip,"No, I--",Osiran,Pharaoh Hermenthotip is dead.
Osiran,Pharaoh Hermenthotip is dead.,Bender,He's whippin' angels now.
Bender,He's whippin' angels now.,High,Priest Pharaoh commanded me to tell that joke at his funeral.
High,Priest Pharaoh commanded me to tell that joke at his funeral.,Bender,"I'll always remember you, Hermenthotip!"
Bender,"I'll always remember you, Hermenthotip!",High,"Priest Also, this bag of cats our culture considers holy."
High,"Priest Also, this bag of cats our culture considers holy.",I,used to have him sing...
I,used to have him sing...,Singer,P-P-P-Pharaoh and his pets...
Singer,P-P-P-Pharaoh and his pets...,Suzie,will have joined him in the afterlife--
Suzie,will have joined him in the afterlife--,Osiran,Hermenthotip is gone. The time to designate a new Pharaoh is at hand.
Osiran,Hermenthotip is gone. The time to designate a new Pharaoh is at hand.,Bender,Wow!
Bender,Wow!,Osiran,That concludes the funeral. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
Osiran,That concludes the funeral. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.,Fry,Can you believe it? Pharaoh's dead!
Fry,Can you believe it? Pharaoh's dead!,Slave,"#1: Yes! Tonight we are slaves to no one, except the rhythm!"
Slave,"#1: Yes! Tonight we are slaves to no one, except the rhythm!",Leela,Yeah! Play those bongos!
Leela,Yeah! Play those bongos!,Fry,I'm gonna spin till I fall down!
Fry,I'm gonna spin till I fall down!,Bender,We interrupt this ancient prophecy to bring you late-breaking bulletin. He hammers the back of his head and creates and imprint of himself on the wall.
Bender,We interrupt this ancient prophecy to bring you late-breaking bulletin. He hammers the back of his head and creates and imprint of himself on the wall.,High,"Priest: Great Wall of Prophecy, reveal to us God's will that we may blindly obey."
High,"Priest: Great Wall of Prophecy, reveal to us God's will that we may blindly obey.",Priests,Free us from thought and responsibility.
Priests,Free us from thought and responsibility.,High,Priest: We shall read things off you.
High,Priest: We shall read things off you.,Priests,Then do them.
Priests,Then do them.,High,Priest: Your words guide us.
High,Priest: Your words guide us.,Priests,We're dumb.
Priests,We're dumb.,Fry,You know what else stinks about being a slave? The hours.
Fry,You know what else stinks about being a slave? The hours.,High,"Priest: The prophecy is strange and crudely drawn at best. It indicates that, we are here and our next Pharaoh is over there, near some ... tents."
High,"Priest: The prophecy is strange and crudely drawn at best. It indicates that, we are here and our next Pharaoh is over there, near some ... tents.",Bender,"Those are waves, jackass. It's supposed to be a river!"
Bender,"Those are waves, jackass. It's supposed to be a river!",Fry,Hey. I think I know who the next Pharaoh is!
Fry,Hey. I think I know who the next Pharaoh is!,Leela,"Oh, Lord!"
Leela,"Oh, Lord!",High,"Priest: We hear your voice, oh, great Pharaoh. Reveal yourself to us."
High,"Priest: We hear your voice, oh, great Pharaoh. Reveal yourself to us.",Bender,Behold! I have emerged from the place of spells and fairies!
Bender,Behold! I have emerged from the place of spells and fairies!,High,Priest Long live Pharaoh Bender!
High,Priest Long live Pharaoh Bender!,Slaves,Long live Pharaoh Bender!
Slaves,Long live Pharaoh Bender!,Leela,This society is a bunch of idiots.
Leela,This society is a bunch of idiots.,High,"Priest: People of Osiris 4, please welcome a man who started as a slave but worked his way up to Lord of All Creation! Our new Pharaoh, Bender!"
High,"Priest: People of Osiris 4, please welcome a man who started as a slave but worked his way up to Lord of All Creation! Our new Pharaoh, Bender!",Bender,wave of cruelty wash over this lazy land.
Bender,wave of cruelty wash over this lazy land.,Leela,What did he say?
Leela,What did he say?,Bender,... that I might be remember-ed for all eternity. And be quick about it!
Bender,... that I might be remember-ed for all eternity. And be quick about it!,Bender,"Lowly slave, why are you not working?"
Bender,"Lowly slave, why are you not working?",Slave,#2: I am.
Slave,#2: I am.,Bender,I meant yourself to death.
Bender,I meant yourself to death.,Slave,"#3: Mighty Pharaoh, it hurts when I breathe."
Slave,"#3: Mighty Pharaoh, it hurts when I breathe.",Bender,"Crawl, pigs!"
Bender,"Crawl, pigs!",Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Bender,The Pharaoh has spoken.
Bender,The Pharaoh has spoken.,Bender,Your task is nearly completed. Don't let down Pharaoh now.
Bender,Your task is nearly completed. Don't let down Pharaoh now.,Osiran,"The great monument is finished, oh Pharaoh. And now, the unveiling."
Osiran,"The great monument is finished, oh Pharaoh. And now, the unveiling.",Statue,Remember me.
Statue,Remember me.,Osiran,"Does it please you, my lord?"
Osiran,"Does it please you, my lord?",Bender,"big, y'know? I mean, are people gonna be remembering me or the statue?"
Bender,"big, y'know? I mean, are people gonna be remembering me or the statue?",High,"Priest: But, sire, we made it to your exact specifications."
High,"Priest: But, sire, we made it to your exact specifications.",Bender,Too exact if you ask me. Tear it down and try again. But this time don't embarrass yourselves.
Bender,Too exact if you ask me. Tear it down and try again. But this time don't embarrass yourselves.,High,"Priest: Ladies and gentlemen, the Pharaoh suddenly died."
High,"Priest: Ladies and gentlemen, the Pharaoh suddenly died.",Leela,Good riddance.
Leela,Good riddance.,Bender,What about my servants?
Bender,What about my servants?,Priest,"Oh, yeah."
Priest,"Oh, yeah.",Fry,"Bender, I really hope that's you. 'Cause if it isn't ... we're in trouble!"
Fry,"Bender, I really hope that's you. 'Cause if it isn't ... we're in trouble!",Leela.,Why'd you have to drag us along?
Leela.,Why'd you have to drag us along?,Bender,I wanted to watch you remember me.
Bender,I wanted to watch you remember me.,Leela,in the afterlife?
Leela,in the afterlife?,Bender,Afterlife? Pft. If I thought I had to go through a whole other life I'd kill myself right now.
Bender,Afterlife? Pft. If I thought I had to go through a whole other life I'd kill myself right now.,Leela,Well rot in peace. Fry and I are leaving.
Leela,Well rot in peace. Fry and I are leaving.,Bender,"Here, have a pomegranate schnapps from my private distillery and start sharing fond memories of me, Bender."
Bender,"Here, have a pomegranate schnapps from my private distillery and start sharing fond memories of me, Bender.",Fry,What proof is this? Some huge number?
Fry,What proof is this? Some huge number?,Leela,Let's get a little kindling going!
Leela,Let's get a little kindling going!,Bender,No! You can't blow up my monument. I won't be remembered.
Bender,No! You can't blow up my monument. I won't be remembered.,Leela,"Oh, right, how selfish of me. We'll just stay here forever. Hey, Fry? Remember that robot Bender?"
Leela,"Oh, right, how selfish of me. We'll just stay here forever. Hey, Fry? Remember that robot Bender?",Fry,"Did you hear something, Leela?"
Fry,"Did you hear something, Leela?",Leela,No. But I bet it wasn't someone who was good at stealing.
Leela,No. But I bet it wasn't someone who was good at stealing.,Bender,"Stop it, stop it! It's not right! You've crossed a line."
Bender,"Stop it, stop it! It's not right! You've crossed a line.",Fry,"Hey, Leela, you know who I remember?"
Fry,"Hey, Leela, you know who I remember?",Bender,"Oh, please, let it be me."
Bender,"Oh, please, let it be me.",Fry,That guy who used to bend things. You know?
Fry,That guy who used to bend things. You know?,Bender,"Me, please!"
Bender,"Me, please!",Fry,Hermes.
Fry,Hermes.,Bender,"Alright, alright! If it means that much to you, blow up my statue."
Bender,"Alright, alright! If it means that much to you, blow up my statue.",Leela,"Oh, Bender! When did you come in? Hold still!"
Leela,"Oh, Bender! When did you come in? Hold still!",Leela,Let's blow this tomb!
Leela,Let's blow this tomb!,Slave,#1: Pharaoh Bender! He once more walks among the living.
Slave,#1: Pharaoh Bender! He once more walks among the living.,Bender,How we doing?
Bender,How we doing?,Statue,Remember me.
Statue,Remember me.,Bender,I will. I will.
Bender,I will. I will.,Bender,"Please, just leave me alone."
Bender,"Please, just leave me alone.",Leela,"Bender, I understand your desire to be remembered. But you don't need a statue for that."
Leela,"Bender, I understand your desire to be remembered. But you don't need a statue for that.",Bender,I don't?
Bender,I don't?,Leela,"No. You have your legacy as a brutal, tyrannical dictator, and that will outlive any monument."
Leela,"No. You have your legacy as a brutal, tyrannical dictator, and that will outlive any monument.",Bender,You really think they'll remember me?
Bender,You really think they'll remember me?,Fry,Absolutely.
Fry,Absolutely.,Bender,Well in that case. One planet down! Helmsman...
Bender,Well in that case. One planet down! Helmsman...,Bender,Set course for Earth!
Bender,Set course for Earth!,Leela,That's not Earth.
Leela,That's not Earth.,Bender,Oh.
Bender,Oh.,Raiders,of the Lost Arcade
Raiders,of the Lost Arcade,Farnsworth,"There. I've finished fine-tuning my What-If machine. It can answer any What-If question, accurate to within one-tenth of a plausibility unit."
Farnsworth,"There. I've finished fine-tuning my What-If machine. It can answer any What-If question, accurate to within one-tenth of a plausibility unit.",Leela,That's so plausible I can't believe it!
Leela,That's so plausible I can't believe it!,Farnsworth,Who wants the machine to show them an alternate reality?
Farnsworth,Who wants the machine to show them an alternate reality?,Bender,"Ooh! Ooh! I wanna know what would happen if I were human. I mean, being a robot's great, but we don't have emotions and sometimes that makes me very sad."
Bender,"Ooh! Ooh! I wanna know what would happen if I were human. I mean, being a robot's great, but we don't have emotions and sometimes that makes me very sad.",Farnsworth,What if Bender were human?
Farnsworth,What if Bender were human?,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! I've invented a way to turn Bender into a human using a process I call reverse fossilisation."
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! I've invented a way to turn Bender into a human using a process I call reverse fossilisation.",Leela,How does it work?
Leela,How does it work?,Farnsworth,"Well, in regular fossilisation, flesh and bone turn to minerals. Realising that, it was a simple matter to reverse the process. I've already tested it by turning the toaster into a racoon."
Farnsworth,"Well, in regular fossilisation, flesh and bone turn to minerals. Realising that, it was a simple matter to reverse the process. I've already tested it by turning the toaster into a racoon.",Fry,Kinda game-y.
Fry,Kinda game-y.,Farnsworth,"Are you ready, Bender?"
Farnsworth,"Are you ready, Bender?",Bender,I dunno. I'm beginning to have some second thoughts--
Bender,I dunno. I'm beginning to have some second thoughts--,Hermes,"Cover your shame, mon!"
Hermes,"Cover your shame, mon!",Farnsworth,"It worked! Eat it, everyone whose never won a Nobel Prize! And that includes you, Amy!"
Farnsworth,"It worked! Eat it, everyone whose never won a Nobel Prize! And that includes you, Amy!",Bender,"No, it just moved. I'm not getting good reception on it though. Maybe if I wiggle it around a little."
Bender,"No, it just moved. I'm not getting good reception on it though. Maybe if I wiggle it around a little.",Fry,"Bender, no! You'll make God cry."
Fry,"Bender, no! You'll make God cry.",Bender,Being human is great!
Bender,Being human is great!,Zoidberg,Hooray! It's just like Mardis Gras!
Zoidberg,Hooray! It's just like Mardis Gras!,Bender,Guy! Guys! You've gotta see this. You're not gonna believe it!
Bender,Guy! Guys! You've gotta see this. You're not gonna believe it!,Leela,"Bender, it's OK to be proud but don't be a show-off."
Leela,"Bender, it's OK to be proud but don't be a show-off.",Bender,Whoa! You look a lot better than you used to for some reason.
Bender,Whoa! You look a lot better than you used to for some reason.,Amy,"You're not so bad yourself, big boy."
Amy,"You're not so bad yourself, big boy.",Bender,"Nah, it's not working anymore."
Bender,"Nah, it's not working anymore.",Farnsworth,Speak for yourself!
Farnsworth,Speak for yourself!,Bender,Whoa! This is awesome!
Bender,Whoa! This is awesome!,Leela,"Bender, you drank and smoked when you were a robot."
Leela,"Bender, you drank and smoked when you were a robot.",Bender,for me!
Bender,for me!,Fry,"Speaking of which, try these nachos."
Fry,"Speaking of which, try these nachos.",Bender,What's going on? That rhythm! It's doing something to my human butt.
Bender,What's going on? That rhythm! It's doing something to my human butt.,Amy,"Bender, part of being human is having self control."
Amy,"Bender, part of being human is having self control.",Bender,"Oh, my God! I bet I can eat nachos and go to the bathroom at the same time!"
Bender,"Oh, my God! I bet I can eat nachos and go to the bathroom at the same time!",Amy,"No, Bender!"
Amy,"No, Bender!",Hermes,No!
Hermes,No!,Leela,Stop him.
Leela,Stop him.,Bender,Let me go.
Bender,Let me go.,Leela,No!
Leela,No!,Farnsworth,"Come, Bender. It's time to go home and rest. I need you in top shape next week when I present you to the Nobel Prize Committee. Bender?"
Farnsworth,"Come, Bender. It's time to go home and rest. I need you in top shape next week when I present you to the Nobel Prize Committee. Bender?",Bender,"Goodbye, moderation!"
Bender,"Goodbye, moderation!",Zoidberg,"Is Bender still missing for a week? Where is he, already?"
Zoidberg,"Is Bender still missing for a week? Where is he, already?",Farnsworth,"Uh, as I've said before, I used reverse fossilisation, which is the reverse of regular, um..."
Farnsworth,"Uh, as I've said before, I used reverse fossilisation, which is the reverse of regular, um...",Fry,Pst! We found him!
Fry,Pst! We found him!,Farnsworth,"Ah! Then without further stalling for time, I present to the Nobel judges the first robot ever turned into a human."
Farnsworth,"Ah! Then without further stalling for time, I present to the Nobel judges the first robot ever turned into a human.",Wernstrom,My God! He needs medical attention!
Wernstrom,My God! He needs medical attention!,Leela,"Well, that's not so bad."
Leela,"Well, that's not so bad.",Zoidberg,"No, I mean 40 pounds!"
Zoidberg,"No, I mean 40 pounds!",Farnsworth,"This, um, scientific breakthrough ... heralds a new dawn in human-robot relations, yes."
Farnsworth,"This, um, scientific breakthrough ... heralds a new dawn in human-robot relations, yes.",Bender,"Hey, you like grilled cheese?"
Bender,"Hey, you like grilled cheese?",Farnsworth,"And, um, that's why I believe I deserve the Nobel Prize."
Farnsworth,"And, um, that's why I believe I deserve the Nobel Prize.",Wernstrom,Not only do you not deserve a Nobel Prize for loosing this bloated man-ball on the world but you are hereby kicked out of the Academy of Science.
Wernstrom,Not only do you not deserve a Nobel Prize for loosing this bloated man-ball on the world but you are hereby kicked out of the Academy of Science.,Bender,"Wait! As men of science are not your minds open to new ideas? I say, do not judge me until you have tried my way of life for yourselves."
Bender,"Wait! As men of science are not your minds open to new ideas? I say, do not judge me until you have tried my way of life for yourselves.",Wernstrom,"Young man, you have opened our minds and swayed our hearts. Let us therefore--"
Wernstrom,"Young man, you have opened our minds and swayed our hearts. Let us therefore--",Bender,Party!
Bender,Party!,Wernstrom,"Bender, you were right! Truly you have lived more in your one week of being human than the rest of us have in our entire lives."
Wernstrom,"Bender, you were right! Truly you have lived more in your one week of being human than the rest of us have in our entire lives.",Bender,Woo!
Bender,Woo!,Wernstrom,... Chemistry.
Wernstrom,... Chemistry.,Farnsworth,"Care to say a few words, Bender?"
Farnsworth,"Care to say a few words, Bender?",Wernstrom,When did he die?
Wernstrom,When did he die?,Farnsworth,About 12 hours ago when the party started.
Farnsworth,About 12 hours ago when the party started.,Wernstrom,"But he just said, Woo."
Wernstrom,"But he just said, Woo.",Farnsworth,"Goodnight, sweet prince. You were the greatest man any of us will ever know. Well, let's get him out of here. He's starting to smell up the joint."
Farnsworth,"Goodnight, sweet prince. You were the greatest man any of us will ever know. Well, let's get him out of here. He's starting to smell up the joint.",Farnsworth,Who else has a question for the What-If machine? Scruffy? Katrina? Xanthor?
Farnsworth,Who else has a question for the What-If machine? Scruffy? Katrina? Xanthor?,Fry,"Ooh, I have one. I'm good at video games and bad at everything else. That's why I wish life were more like a video game."
Fry,"Ooh, I have one. I'm good at video games and bad at everything else. That's why I wish life were more like a video game.",Farnsworth,Can you put that in the form of a question?
Farnsworth,Can you put that in the form of a question?,Fry,"Uh, what if that thing I said?"
Fry,"Uh, what if that thing I said?",Farnsworth,"Oh, great machine, we beseech thee. What if life were more like a video game?"
Farnsworth,"Oh, great machine, we beseech thee. What if life were more like a video game?",Nixon,"Good evening, ignorant pigs. Put down your crack pipes and your beer bongs and pay attention as I sign an historic peace accord with Ambassador Kong of planet Nintendu 64."
Nixon,"Good evening, ignorant pigs. Put down your crack pipes and your beer bongs and pay attention as I sign an historic peace accord with Ambassador Kong of planet Nintendu 64.",Fry,Wait a second! I know that monkey. His name is Donkey.
Fry,Wait a second! I know that monkey. His name is Donkey.,Farnsworth,Monkeys aren't donkeys! Quit messing with my head!
Farnsworth,Monkeys aren't donkeys! Quit messing with my head!,Nixon,What the--
Nixon,What the--,Mario,Mamma Mia! The cruel meatball of war has rolled onto our laps and ruined our white pants of peace!
Mario,Mamma Mia! The cruel meatball of war has rolled onto our laps and ruined our white pants of peace!,Man.,Please step into the war room.
Man.,Please step into the war room.,Man,You'll be meeting with General Colin Pac-Man.
Man,You'll be meeting with General Colin Pac-Man.,Pac-Man,"Wakka, wakka, wakka, wakka. Let's get down to business. What can you tell us about the Nintendians?"
Pac-Man,"Wakka, wakka, wakka, wakka. Let's get down to business. What can you tell us about the Nintendians?",Fry,"Well, sir, I spent all of ninth grade studying them, except for that day when my eyeballs started to bleed. And in my opinion--"
Fry,"Well, sir, I spent all of ninth grade studying them, except for that day when my eyeballs started to bleed. And in my opinion--",Pac-Man,Quickly! To the escape tunnels!
Pac-Man,Quickly! To the escape tunnels!,Pac-Man,"This way, damnit!"
Pac-Man,"This way, damnit!",Zoidberg,"Ooh, and a cherry!"
Zoidberg,"Ooh, and a cherry!",Fry,"Hey, watch out!"
Fry,"Hey, watch out!",Zoidberg,Uh-oh!
Zoidberg,Uh-oh!,Leela,"Oh, my God! He ate Fry! Fry is dead!"
Leela,"Oh, my God! He ate Fry! Fry is dead!",Fry,It's OK. I had another guy!
Fry,It's OK. I had another guy!,Pac-Man,"Wakka ... wakka, wa--"
Pac-Man,"Wakka ... wakka, wa--",Leela,Invaders! Possibly from space!
Leela,Invaders! Possibly from space!,Lrrr,different kinds of ships.
Lrrr,different kinds of ships.,Fry,"Alright! It's Saturday night, I have no date, a two-litre bottle of Shasta and my all-Rush mix tape. Let's rock!"
Fry,"Alright! It's Saturday night, I have no date, a two-litre bottle of Shasta and my all-Rush mix tape. Let's rock!",Nd-Nd,"We're losing ships, Lrrr. What are your orders?"
Nd-Nd,"We're losing ships, Lrrr. What are your orders?",Lrrr,"Increase speed, drop down and reverse direction!"
Lrrr,"Increase speed, drop down and reverse direction!",Fry,"I've still got a trick or two up my sleeve. Watch, as I fire upwards through our own shields."
Fry,"I've still got a trick or two up my sleeve. Watch, as I fire upwards through our own shields.",Pac-Man,I'm hit! So cold!
Pac-Man,I'm hit! So cold!,Ms.,Pac-Man: No!
Ms.,Pac-Man: No!,Fry,"Amy, tend to the widow Pac-Man."
Fry,"Amy, tend to the widow Pac-Man.",Ms.,"Pac-Man: Wakka, wakka, wakka."
Ms.,"Pac-Man: Wakka, wakka, wakka.",Lrrr,Drop down and increase speed.
Lrrr,Drop down and increase speed.,Zoidberg,One ship is left only.
Zoidberg,One ship is left only.,Leela,"Come on, Fry! Get it!"
Leela,"Come on, Fry! Get it!",Fry,"It's moving too fast! Oh, I could never get the last one. My brother always got it for me."
Fry,"It's moving too fast! Oh, I could never get the last one. My brother always got it for me.",Lrrr,"Drop down, reverse direction, prepare for landing."
Lrrr,"Drop down, reverse direction, prepare for landing.",Lrrr,"You are defeated. Instead of shooting where I was, you should have shot at where I was going to be."
Lrrr,"You are defeated. Instead of shooting where I was, you should have shot at where I was going to be.",Beserk,All your base are belong to us.
Beserk,All your base are belong to us.,Q-Bert,Where can a guy get a pair of pants around here?
Q-Bert,Where can a guy get a pair of pants around here?,Fry,What do you monsters want?
Fry,What do you monsters want?,Donkey,Kong: One thing and one thing only: Quarters! A million allowances worth of quarters! No slugs or tokens.
Donkey,Kong: One thing and one thing only: Quarters! A million allowances worth of quarters! No slugs or tokens.,Beserk,Fork 'em over! Fork 'em over!
Beserk,Fork 'em over! Fork 'em over!,Farnsworth,"Forget it, you pixilated pirates. We need those quarters to do our laundry."
Farnsworth,"Forget it, you pixilated pirates. We need those quarters to do our laundry.",Amy,Yeah!
Amy,Yeah!,Bender,Right on!
Bender,Right on!,Leela,"Sure thing, Professor!"
Leela,"Sure thing, Professor!",Lrrr,But-But space invaders need to do laundry too. I mean look at Donkey Kong here. Have you smelled his loincloth lately?
Lrrr,But-But space invaders need to do laundry too. I mean look at Donkey Kong here. Have you smelled his loincloth lately?,Zoidberg,Yes.
Zoidberg,Yes.,Amy,Go away! We're not giving you our quarters no matter what.
Amy,Go away! We're not giving you our quarters no matter what.,Lrrr,Well ... then what if we throw our laundry in with yours? Would that be acceptable?
Lrrr,Well ... then what if we throw our laundry in with yours? Would that be acceptable?,Fry,I guess so.
Fry,I guess so.,Lrrr,"OK, then. That settles that. But if this cape shrinks, consider your species extinct!"
Lrrr,"OK, then. That settles that. But if this cape shrinks, consider your species extinct!",Farnsworth,"Well, there's time for one last question. Let's turn to the Who Ask machine to see who's next."
Farnsworth,"Well, there's time for one last question. Let's turn to the Who Ask machine to see who's next.",Who,Ask Machine I mean Leela.
Who,Ask Machine I mean Leela.,Leela,"As an alien who was abandoned on Earth, I've never really belonged anywhere."
Leela,"As an alien who was abandoned on Earth, I've never really belonged anywhere.",Bender,Boo-hoo.
Bender,Boo-hoo.,Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Bender,Uh ... where?
Bender,Uh ... where?,Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Leela,Where are we?
Leela,Where are we?,Leela,Ooh! Nice boots!
Leela,Ooh! Nice boots!,Cubert,"Look, everyone! She killed the Man-Witch of the West!"
Cubert,"Look, everyone! She killed the Man-Witch of the West!",Leela,A witch? That explains how these boots magically appeared on my feet.
Leela,A witch? That explains how these boots magically appeared on my feet.,Small,"Glurmo #1: No, you stole them. We saw you."
Small,"Glurmo #1: No, you stole them. We saw you.",Leela,"Well ... i-it's hard to find shoes that fit me. So, anyway, who are you people? Haven't I seen you in some copyrighted movie?"
Leela,"Well ... i-it's hard to find shoes that fit me. So, anyway, who are you people? Haven't I seen you in some copyrighted movie?",Small,"Glurmo #1: We resemble but are legally distinct from the lollipop guild, the lollipop--"
Small,"Glurmo #1: We resemble but are legally distinct from the lollipop guild, the lollipop--",Amy,"Greetings, Leela. I'm the Cute Witch of the North!"
Amy,"Greetings, Leela. I'm the Cute Witch of the North!",Leela,Yeah... Can anyone fix my ship so I can get home?
Leela,Yeah... Can anyone fix my ship so I can get home?,Amy,Abraca-duh! Just ask the Professor. He lives in the Emerald Laboratory down Martin Luther King Boulevard.
Amy,Abraca-duh! Just ask the Professor. He lives in the Emerald Laboratory down Martin Luther King Boulevard.,Leela,You mean that yellow brick road?
Leela,You mean that yellow brick road?,Amy,Ooh! Those are great shoes!
Amy,Ooh! Those are great shoes!,Leela,"Oh, thank you."
Leela,"Oh, thank you.",Amy,Do they come in women's sizes?
Amy,Do they come in women's sizes?,Fry,"And then, honk, honk, the car honked its own horn!"
Fry,"And then, honk, honk, the car honked its own horn!",Leela,Wow! A talking scarecrow. Wanna come with us to see the Professor? He might be able to give you a brain.
Leela,Wow! A talking scarecrow. Wanna come with us to see the Professor? He might be able to give you a brain.,Fry,Hey! That's not a nice thing to say.
Fry,Hey! That's not a nice thing to say.,Bender,Beer! Beer!
Bender,Beer! Beer!,Leela,Whiskey OK?
Leela,Whiskey OK?,Bender,Now did you say you were off to see the Professor? 'Cause I could use a heart -- a human heart. I need to pump a lot of blood out of my basement.
Bender,Now did you say you were off to see the Professor? 'Cause I could use a heart -- a human heart. I need to pump a lot of blood out of my basement.,Zoidberg,"And I'm the other guy, courage. Not enough of it. Need some from whatshisname."
Zoidberg,"And I'm the other guy, courage. Not enough of it. Need some from whatshisname.",Mom,"Fly, my stupids! Fly out and get them!"
Mom,"Fly, my stupids! Fly out and get them!",Igner,"But, Mom, you promised you'd bake monkey cake today."
Igner,"But, Mom, you promised you'd bake monkey cake today.",Mom,By monkey cake I meant your ass!
Mom,By monkey cake I meant your ass!,Zoidberg,"What, do I smell or something?"
Zoidberg,"What, do I smell or something?",Leela,Why did you bring us here?
Leela,Why did you bring us here?,Zoidberg,did I have to take a cab?
Zoidberg,did I have to take a cab?,Mom,"I'll tell you why I brought you here, you twice-baked barf bags: Because I've always wanted a daughter to love. You want to get adopted, you little skank?"
Mom,"I'll tell you why I brought you here, you twice-baked barf bags: Because I've always wanted a daughter to love. You want to get adopted, you little skank?",Leela,"And live here? And be a witch like you? Yeah, alright. As long as I get to hurt people and not just dance around at the equinox."
Leela,"And live here? And be a witch like you? Yeah, alright. As long as I get to hurt people and not just dance around at the equinox.",Mom,Absolutely.
Mom,Absolutely.,Leela,"Oh, Mommy! I found my true home!"
Leela,"Oh, Mommy! I found my true home!",Bender,Hooray!
Bender,Hooray!,Zoidberg,Alright!
Zoidberg,Alright!,Fry,"That's great, Leela."
Fry,"That's great, Leela.",Bender,Oops!
Bender,Oops!,Mom,"I'm melting! Oh, who would have thought a small amount of liquid would ever fall on me?"
Mom,"I'm melting! Oh, who would have thought a small amount of liquid would ever fall on me?",Bender,"Well, no point letting her go to waste."
Bender,"Well, no point letting her go to waste.",Hermes,Yes?
Hermes,Yes?,Leela,We're here to see the Professor.
Leela,We're here to see the Professor.,Hermes,No one sees the mighty Professor.
Hermes,No one sees the mighty Professor.,Farnsworth,"Who's there, Hermes? Is it visitors? I want to see them."
Farnsworth,"Who's there, Hermes? Is it visitors? I want to see them.",Hermes,He's not here.
Hermes,He's not here.,Leela,"Oh, for the love of Benji!"
Leela,"Oh, for the love of Benji!",Farnsworth,"Now, what do you nice kids want?"
Farnsworth,"Now, what do you nice kids want?",Zoidberg,"Nothing! I'm leaving. But if you have extra courage I'd haul it away for you, maybe?"
Zoidberg,"Nothing! I'm leaving. But if you have extra courage I'd haul it away for you, maybe?",Farnsworth,"Oh, blithery poop, my cowardly lobster! You don't need courage. After all, who needs courage when you have a gun?"
Farnsworth,"Oh, blithery poop, my cowardly lobster! You don't need courage. After all, who needs courage when you have a gun?",Zoidberg,hands up!
Zoidberg,hands up!,Farnsworth,"And you, lad, all you need is brain."
Farnsworth,"And you, lad, all you need is brain.",Fry,Why does everyone keep saying that?
Fry,Why does everyone keep saying that?,Bender,"This is a stick-up. Gimme the bag, old man!"
Bender,"This is a stick-up. Gimme the bag, old man!",Farnsworth,"Here you go, my friend. 5000 Professor Land fun bucks."
Farnsworth,"Here you go, my friend. 5000 Professor Land fun bucks.",Bender,"Oh, crap."
Bender,"Oh, crap.",Farnsworth,"As for you, young lady, you want to go home, right?"
Farnsworth,"As for you, young lady, you want to go home, right?",Leela,"No, not anymore. I wanna stay here and become the new Wicked Witch."
Leela,"No, not anymore. I wanna stay here and become the new Wicked Witch.",Farnsworth,"Nonsense. Now click your big, honking boots together three times and wish to go home to Kansas, to live in poverty with your dirt-farming, teetotalling aunt and uncle."
Farnsworth,"Nonsense. Now click your big, honking boots together three times and wish to go home to Kansas, to live in poverty with your dirt-farming, teetotalling aunt and uncle.",Leela,"Oh, no! Help! What's happening?"
Leela,"Oh, no! Help! What's happening?",Zoidberg,"Uh, sorry. I think there's a problem with your upstairs toilet."
Zoidberg,"Uh, sorry. I think there's a problem with your upstairs toilet.",Bender,Wake up!
Bender,Wake up!,Fry,"Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head."
Fry,"Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head.",Leela,were there.
Leela,were there.,Fry,"Never mind, Professor. She came to."
Fry,"Never mind, Professor. She came to.",Farnsworth,Oh! So close.
Farnsworth,Oh! So close.,Hermes,"There's always next year, Professor. There's always next year."
Hermes,"There's always next year, Professor. There's always next year.",Fry,"I've never seen a supernova blow up, but if it's anything like my old Chevy Nova, it'll light up the night sky!"
Fry,"I've never seen a supernova blow up, but if it's anything like my old Chevy Nova, it'll light up the night sky!",Bender,"Yeah! Anyone who misses this will regret it the rest of his life. Hey, Fry, could you go make some popcorn?"
Bender,"Yeah! Anyone who misses this will regret it the rest of his life. Hey, Fry, could you go make some popcorn?",Fry,OK.
Fry,OK.,Fry,"Hey, what smells like blue?"
Fry,"Hey, what smells like blue?",Leela,"Fry, get up here! It's starting!"
Leela,"Fry, get up here! It's starting!",Farnsworth,Focus!
Farnsworth,Focus!,Bender,"Oh, boy!"
Bender,"Oh, boy!",Leela,Oh!
Leela,Oh!,Fry,"Hey, which crazy thing happening are you guys screaming about?"
Fry,"Hey, which crazy thing happening are you guys screaming about?",Zoidberg,My head is spinning.
Zoidberg,My head is spinning.,Fry,Ooh! My popcorn's done!
Fry,Ooh! My popcorn's done!,Fry,Aw! It's less popped than ever.
Fry,Aw! It's less popped than ever.,Leela,Let's get back home.
Leela,Let's get back home.,Leela,Why is there so little traffic around Earth?
Leela,Why is there so little traffic around Earth?,Farnsworth,And what's this layer of ozone? That's never been there before.
Farnsworth,And what's this layer of ozone? That's never been there before.,Zoidberg,Such noises!
Zoidberg,Such noises!,Leela,"Oh, no! There's no global positioning signal! Navigation is failing."
Leela,"Oh, no! There's no global positioning signal! Navigation is failing.",Fry,We're gonna crash!
Fry,We're gonna crash!,Leela,"Oh, I guess I can't. Everyone, put on your seatbelts."
Leela,"Oh, I guess I can't. Everyone, put on your seatbelts.",Bender,"Ah, those things cost more lives than they save."
Bender,"Ah, those things cost more lives than they save.",Fry,"Bender, are you OK?"
Fry,"Bender, are you OK?",Bender,I dunno. I'll try to move my feet.
Bender,I dunno. I'll try to move my feet.,Leela,"Alright, here's the plan: Zoidberg, pick up the pieces. Everyone else, take five."
Leela,"Alright, here's the plan: Zoidberg, pick up the pieces. Everyone else, take five.",Zoidberg,What is?
Zoidberg,What is?,Man,"General, in all my years of covering top secret discoveries with sheets, I've never dramatically revealed anything as shocking as this. Dun-dun-dun! The debris from an alien spaceship."
Man,"General, in all my years of covering top secret discoveries with sheets, I've never dramatically revealed anything as shocking as this. Dun-dun-dun! The debris from an alien spaceship.",General,"Son, I think I can safely say--"
General,"Son, I think I can safely say--",Man,"As you can see, 1947 is going to be an eventful year for the town of ... Roswell, New Mexico."
Man,"As you can see, 1947 is going to be an eventful year for the town of ... Roswell, New Mexico.",Farnsworth,"Remarkable! According the high-precision digital chronograph it's July 9th, 1947, which would explain why the chronograph has turned into this pin-up calendar."
Farnsworth,"Remarkable! According the high-precision digital chronograph it's July 9th, 1947, which would explain why the chronograph has turned into this pin-up calendar.",Bender,Wait a second. You mean we travelled through time?
Bender,Wait a second. You mean we travelled through time?,Farnsworth,Doy! Some idiot must have put metal in the microwave--
Farnsworth,Doy! Some idiot must have put metal in the microwave--,Fry,Yo!
Fry,Yo!,Farnsworth,"And the microwave radiation, combined with the gravitons and graviolis from the supernova, blasted us through time itself."
Farnsworth,"And the microwave radiation, combined with the gravitons and graviolis from the supernova, blasted us through time itself.",Leela,Have you seen today's news?
Leela,Have you seen today's news?,Bender,High school gym renovations on schedule? What a load!
Bender,High school gym renovations on schedule? What a load!,Leela,Flying saucer captured!
Leela,Flying saucer captured!,Bender,That's no flying saucer! That's my ass!
Bender,That's no flying saucer! That's my ass!,Fry,My God! This means the flying saucer that crashed in Roswell ... was us!
Fry,My God! This means the flying saucer that crashed in Roswell ... was us!,Farnsworth,And the alien they captured was ... was...
Farnsworth,And the alien they captured was ... was...,Zoidberg,So what are you guys doing tonight? I'm up for whatever.
Zoidberg,So what are you guys doing tonight? I'm up for whatever.,Farnsworth,... exactly 24 hours.
Farnsworth,... exactly 24 hours.,Leela,No problem. The ship's fixed except for the cup holder and I should have that operational within 10 hours.
Leela,No problem. The ship's fixed except for the cup holder and I should have that operational within 10 hours.,Farnsworth,Without a working one we have no hope of returning to the future.
Farnsworth,Without a working one we have no hope of returning to the future.,Leela,"Meanwhile, you guys sneak onto the army base and rescue Bender's body."
Leela,"Meanwhile, you guys sneak onto the army base and rescue Bender's body.",Fry,"Hey, and while we're on the base, I'll visit my grandfather, Enos. He was stationed at Roswell."
Fry,"Hey, and while we're on the base, I'll visit my grandfather, Enos. He was stationed at Roswell.",Farnsworth,"Stay away from him, you dim-witted monkey. You mustn't interfere with the past. Don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to do it. In which case, for the love of God, don't not do it!"
Farnsworth,"Stay away from him, you dim-witted monkey. You mustn't interfere with the past. Don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to do it. In which case, for the love of God, don't not do it!",Fry,Got it.
Fry,Got it.,Farnsworth,"If, for example, you were to kill your grandfather, you would cease to exist."
Farnsworth,"If, for example, you were to kill your grandfather, you would cease to exist.",Fry,But existing is basically all I do!
Fry,But existing is basically all I do!,General,What is your purpose here?
General,What is your purpose here?,Zoidberg,"Alright, Officer, I'll move along."
Zoidberg,"Alright, Officer, I'll move along.",Man,What the general means is why did you come to Earth?
Man,What the general means is why did you come to Earth?,Zoidberg,Not a day goes by I don't ask myself the same question.
Zoidberg,Not a day goes by I don't ask myself the same question.,Sergeant,"Private, I want that toilet bowl so clean I could eat off it! 'Cause I intend to!"
Sergeant,"Private, I want that toilet bowl so clean I could eat off it! 'Cause I intend to!",Enos,"Well gadzooks, Sarge!"
Enos,"Well gadzooks, Sarge!",Fry,"It's him! It's my grandfather, Enos."
Fry,"It's him! It's my grandfather, Enos.",Sergeant,Now prepare my lunch and place it in the latrine at twelve-hundred hours!
Sergeant,Now prepare my lunch and place it in the latrine at twelve-hundred hours!,Fry,Are you crazy? You almost got yourself run over!
Fry,Are you crazy? You almost got yourself run over!,Enos,I did? Then I sure am lucky you knocked me onto this pile of rusty bayonets!
Enos,I did? Then I sure am lucky you knocked me onto this pile of rusty bayonets!,Bender,Pst! Fry! Stop interfering with history. I don't wanna have to memorise a lot of new kings when I get back.
Bender,Pst! Fry! Stop interfering with history. I don't wanna have to memorise a lot of new kings when I get back.,Fry,"I had no choice; I was about to not exist. I could feel myself fading away, like Greg Kinnear."
Fry,"I had no choice; I was about to not exist. I could feel myself fading away, like Greg Kinnear.",Enos,Mmm! Finger-licking good!
Enos,Mmm! Finger-licking good!,Fry,"Everything's gonna be alright, Dad!"
Fry,"Everything's gonna be alright, Dad!",Enos,Well gadzooks! I'd better ask Sarge.
Enos,Well gadzooks! I'd better ask Sarge.,Fry,No time! Run! Run to safety!
Fry,No time! Run! Run to safety!,Man,"This experiment will determine what food, if any, the alien eats."
Man,"This experiment will determine what food, if any, the alien eats.",Zoidberg,"A buffet! Oh, if only I had my wallet with me!"
Zoidberg,"A buffet! Oh, if only I had my wallet with me!",Man,"Um, it's free."
Man,"Um, it's free.",General,Get me the President.
General,Get me the President.,Leela,"Yo, homes! We're looking for a microwave oven."
Leela,"Yo, homes! We're looking for a microwave oven.",Salesman,"This beauty has four broilers, a casserole indicator, a fold-out ironing board and, down here, a foot-soaking tub. Since, as a woman, you'll be standing in front of it all day."
Salesman,"This beauty has four broilers, a casserole indicator, a fold-out ironing board and, down here, a foot-soaking tub. Since, as a woman, you'll be standing in front of it all day.",Leela,you again: Where can we find a mi-cro-wave?
Leela,you again: Where can we find a mi-cro-wave?,Salesman,"Sir, your wife's hysterical, so I'll address this to you. This oven is lightning fast. It takes only five hours to cook a roast."
Salesman,"Sir, your wife's hysterical, so I'll address this to you. This oven is lightning fast. It takes only five hours to cook a roast.",Farnsworth,Women!
Farnsworth,Women!,Fry,Thank God I got you off that dangerous army base.
Fry,Thank God I got you off that dangerous army base.,Enos,Ooh! Snacks!
Enos,Ooh! Snacks!,Bender,Hey! That's my brain!
Bender,Hey! That's my brain!,Enos,Damn! Them crackers cut my mouth up somethin' bad! Let's stop off for a malt.
Enos,Damn! Them crackers cut my mouth up somethin' bad! Let's stop off for a malt.,Enos,See that waitress there?
Enos,See that waitress there?,Fry,Yowza! I know what I want for dessert!
Fry,Yowza! I know what I want for dessert!,Enos,"That's my fiancée, Mildred."
Enos,"That's my fiancée, Mildred.",Fry,"Grandma Mildred? Uh, no dessert! Just coffee."
Fry,"Grandma Mildred? Uh, no dessert! Just coffee.",Mildred,"Okie-doke. And for you, Snuggums?"
Mildred,"Okie-doke. And for you, Snuggums?",Enos,"Uh, I'll have a pie with a fried egg on top."
Enos,"Uh, I'll have a pie with a fried egg on top.",Fry,She sure is pretty. You ought to marry her and father some children right away.
Fry,She sure is pretty. You ought to marry her and father some children right away.,Enos,to?
Enos,to?,Fry,Oh! You almost got neutered.
Fry,Oh! You almost got neutered.,Enos,Well it ain't as bad as getting killed.
Enos,Well it ain't as bad as getting killed.,Fry,I'm getting you outta here!
Fry,I'm getting you outta here!,Enos,Ow!
Enos,Ow!,Fry,"OK, we're in the middle of nowhere, which is the safest part of nowhere. Just stay put and enjoy this calendar."
Fry,"OK, we're in the middle of nowhere, which is the safest part of nowhere. Just stay put and enjoy this calendar.",Fry,"Safe and sound! Finally, I can continue to exist."
Fry,"Safe and sound! Finally, I can continue to exist.",Man,"#2: Three, two, one."
Man,"#2: Three, two, one.",Bender,And you are outta here!
Bender,And you are outta here!,Mildred,What'll you folks have today?
Mildred,What'll you folks have today?,Farnsworth,"I'll have the soylent green, with a slice of soylent orange and some soylent coleslaw."
Farnsworth,"I'll have the soylent green, with a slice of soylent orange and some soylent coleslaw.",Mildred,Pardon?
Mildred,Pardon?,Leela,"It's the 20th century, Professor."
Leela,"It's the 20th century, Professor.",Farnsworth,"Oh, right! I'll have a croque monsieur, the paella, two mutton pills and a stein of mead."
Farnsworth,"Oh, right! I'll have a croque monsieur, the paella, two mutton pills and a stein of mead.",Leela,I'll just have a small injection of Femislim.
Leela,I'll just have a small injection of Femislim.,Mildred,"Uh, two chilli dogs comin' up."
Mildred,"Uh, two chilli dogs comin' up.",Leela,"Well, settle in. Without a microwave we're trapped in this time period."
Leela,"Well, settle in. Without a microwave we're trapped in this time period.",Farnsworth,"Oh, Lord! We'll have to endure the horrible music of the Big Bopper and then the terrible tragedy of his death."
Farnsworth,"Oh, Lord! We'll have to endure the horrible music of the Big Bopper and then the terrible tragedy of his death.",Leela,Wait a second! There's a microwave radar dish at the army base.  We could steal it!
Leela,Wait a second! There's a microwave radar dish at the army base.  We could steal it!,Farnsworth,"No! That would alter history. Above all else, it is our sacred duty to preserve the past exactly as it was."
Farnsworth,"No! That would alter history. Above all else, it is our sacred duty to preserve the past exactly as it was.",Fry,"Well, I killed my grandfather."
Fry,"Well, I killed my grandfather.",Farnsworth,Wha?
Farnsworth,Wha?,Leela,"Wait. If you killed your grandfather, why do you still exist?"
Leela,"Wait. If you killed your grandfather, why do you still exist?",Fry,I dunno. Maybe God loves me.
Fry,I dunno. Maybe God loves me.,Mildred,"No, sir, I'm afraid I don't take much solace in the fact that the implosion trigger functioned perfectly."
Mildred,"No, sir, I'm afraid I don't take much solace in the fact that the implosion trigger functioned perfectly.",Fry,"Aw. There, there. If it makes you feel any better, his body was vaporised so there's no chance of him coming back as a zombie."
Fry,"Aw. There, there. If it makes you feel any better, his body was vaporised so there's no chance of him coming back as a zombie.",Mildred,I'm not worried about that.
Mildred,I'm not worried about that.,Fry,Then you're a braver woman than I.
Fry,Then you're a braver woman than I.,Mildred,You remind me of Enos. Would you mind walking me home?
Mildred,You remind me of Enos. Would you mind walking me home?,Fry,"Uh, how far is it?"
Fry,"Uh, how far is it?",General,"Welcome to Roswell, President Truman."
General,"Welcome to Roswell, President Truman.",Truman,... and a single conspiracy nutter no one will believe.
Truman,... and a single conspiracy nutter no one will believe.,General,"Mr. President, our men have assembled the parts from the alien ship into its original design."
General,"Mr. President, our men have assembled the parts from the alien ship into its original design.",Truman,Whistling Dixie! I want this sent to Area 51 for study.
Truman,Whistling Dixie! I want this sent to Area 51 for study.,General,"But, sir, that's where we're building the fake moon landing set."
General,"But, sir, that's where we're building the fake moon landing set.",Truman,Then we'll have to really land on the moon. Invent NASA and tell them to get off their fannies!
Truman,Then we'll have to really land on the moon. Invent NASA and tell them to get off their fannies!,Truman,"If you come in peace, surrender or be destroyed. If you're here to make war, we surrender."
Truman,"If you come in peace, surrender or be destroyed. If you're here to make war, we surrender.",Zoidberg,Both good. The important thing is I'm meeting new people.
Zoidberg,Both good. The important thing is I'm meeting new people.,Truman,Bushwah! Now what's your mission? Are you planning to make some kind of alien-human hybrid?
Truman,Bushwah! Now what's your mission? Are you planning to make some kind of alien-human hybrid?,Zoidberg,Are you coming onto me?
Zoidberg,Are you coming onto me?,Truman,Hot crackers! I take exception to that!
Truman,Hot crackers! I take exception to that!,Zoidberg,I'm not hearing a no.
Zoidberg,I'm not hearing a no.,Truman,"Nerks to this space crab! If we want information, we'll have to do us an old-fashioned alien autopsy!"
Truman,"Nerks to this space crab! If we want information, we'll have to do us an old-fashioned alien autopsy!",Zoidberg,Hooray!
Zoidberg,Hooray!,Mildred,Every little thing reminds me of Enos.
Mildred,Every little thing reminds me of Enos.,Fry,"Aw, I know how you feel. My grandfather died recently."
Fry,"Aw, I know how you feel. My grandfather died recently.",Mildred,"You like holding me, don't you?"
Mildred,"You like holding me, don't you?",Fry,"Hey, you know what always cheers you up? Baking me a nice tray of sugar cookies!"
Fry,"Hey, you know what always cheers you up? Baking me a nice tray of sugar cookies!",Mildred,"How 'bout these cookies, sugar?"
Mildred,"How 'bout these cookies, sugar?",Fry,I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't even exist. But I do exist. Which proves ... you can't really be my grandm--
Fry,I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't even exist. But I do exist. Which proves ... you can't really be my grandm--,Bender,"Oh, my God!"
Bender,"Oh, my God!",Farnsworth,"What the hell have you done, Fry?"
Farnsworth,"What the hell have you done, Fry?",Fry,Relax! She can't be my grandmother. I figured it all out.
Fry,Relax! She can't be my grandmother. I figured it all out.,Farnsworth,"Of course she's your grandmother, you perverted dope! Look!"
Farnsworth,"Of course she's your grandmother, you perverted dope! Look!",Mildred,"Come back to bed, deary."
Mildred,"Come back to bed, deary.",Fry,"It's impossible! I mean, if she's my grandmother, who's my grandfather?"
Fry,"It's impossible! I mean, if she's my grandmother, who's my grandfather?",Farnsworth,are!
Farnsworth,are!,Mildred,"Did you say something, deary? I'm a bit hard of hearing."
Mildred,"Did you say something, deary? I'm a bit hard of hearing.",Pathologist,#1: Commencing excavation of the subject's chest cavity.
Pathologist,#1: Commencing excavation of the subject's chest cavity.,Zoidberg,"C'mon! Lighten up! What is this, a funeral?"
Zoidberg,"C'mon! Lighten up! What is this, a funeral?",Pathologist,#2: Heart.
Pathologist,#2: Heart.,Zoidberg,"Take, I've got four of them."
Zoidberg,"Take, I've got four of them.",Pathologist,#1: Stomach contents: One deviled egg.
Pathologist,#1: Stomach contents: One deviled egg.,Zoidberg,Deviled egg?
Zoidberg,Deviled egg?,Pathologist,#1 deviled egg.
Pathologist,#1 deviled egg.,Leela,Snap out of it!
Leela,Snap out of it!,Farnsworth,the damn radar dish and get back to our own time.
Farnsworth,the damn radar dish and get back to our own time.,Fry,But-- But won't that change history?
Fry,But-- But won't that change history?,Farnsworth,"Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm-My-Own-Grandpa! Let's get the hell out of here already! Screw history!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm-My-Own-Grandpa! Let's get the hell out of here already! Screw history!",Conspiracy,Nutter: UFO! UFO!
Conspiracy,Nutter: UFO! UFO!,Zoidberg,"Hey, don't cut that! I need that to speak!"
Zoidberg,"Hey, don't cut that! I need that to speak!",Pathologist,"#2: Oh, my!"
Pathologist,"#2: Oh, my!",Truman,Sweet Roosevelt's ghost!
Truman,Sweet Roosevelt's ghost!,Leela,Yah!
Leela,Yah!,Fry,"Take this, Mr. President-- Sir!"
Fry,"Take this, Mr. President-- Sir!",Zoidberg,The President is gagging on my gas bladder! What an honour!
Zoidberg,The President is gagging on my gas bladder! What an honour!,Farnsworth,"Huh, wha? Oh, right!"
Farnsworth,"Huh, wha? Oh, right!",Sergeant,Enos!
Sergeant,Enos!,Fry!,Sorry!
Fry!,Sorry!,Fry,Yay!
Fry,Yay!,Farnsworth,"Choke on that, causality!"
Farnsworth,"Choke on that, causality!",Bender,1947 can kiss my shiny metal--
Bender,1947 can kiss my shiny metal--,Fry,Turn around. We've gotta go back for Bender!
Fry,Turn around. We've gotta go back for Bender!,Farnsworth,get back to the 31st century.
Farnsworth,get back to the 31st century.,Fry,Bender!
Fry,Bender!,Zoidberg,There! Good as new!
Zoidberg,There! Good as new!,Leela,Don't you need this one?
Leela,Don't you need this one?,Zoidberg,Gotcha!
Zoidberg,Gotcha!,Fry,"Oh, poor Bender. He must be so lonely right now, trapped a thousand years in the past. Hey! Wait a second!"
Fry,"Oh, poor Bender. He must be so lonely right now, trapped a thousand years in the past. Hey! Wait a second!",Leela,Anything?
Leela,Anything?,Fry,Wait!
Fry,Wait!,Bender,Ow! Stupid junk!
Bender,Ow! Stupid junk!,Fry,years?
Fry,years?,Bender,I was enjoying it until you guys showed up.
Bender,I was enjoying it until you guys showed up.,Farnsworth,"Well, now everything is back as it was. And if history doesn't care that out degenerate friend Fry is his own grandfather then who are we to judge?"
Farnsworth,"Well, now everything is back as it was. And if history doesn't care that out degenerate friend Fry is his own grandfather then who are we to judge?",Bender,Amen!
Bender,Amen!,Leela,Space pirates!
Leela,Space pirates!,Fry,Space pirates?
Fry,Space pirates?,Leela,"You know. Pirates, but in space."
Leela,"You know. Pirates, but in space.",Pirate,"Avast, mateys!"
Pirate,"Avast, mateys!",Pirate,"Electronically transfer your space doubloons, afore I send thee to Davey Jarg's locker!"
Pirate,"Electronically transfer your space doubloons, afore I send thee to Davey Jarg's locker!",Bender,"Hey! Keep it down, you kids! I'm trying to take a nap!"
Bender,"Hey! Keep it down, you kids! I'm trying to take a nap!",Fry,Come on! Come on!
Fry,Come on! Come on!,Bender,"Come back when I've had some sleep, baby!"
Bender,"Come back when I've had some sleep, baby!",Leela,Fry to battlestations. Fire torpedo number three.
Leela,Fry to battlestations. Fire torpedo number three.,Fry,Firing torpedo number three!
Fry,Firing torpedo number three!,Bender,Huh? What?
Bender,Huh? What?,Leela,That's not torpedo three. That's not torpedo three at all!
Leela,That's not torpedo three. That's not torpedo three at all!,Bender,--la!
Bender,--la!,Pirate,Too late do I realise that me children are me only real treasures.
Pirate,Too late do I realise that me children are me only real treasures.,Bender,Help! Mechanical man overboard!
Bender,Help! Mechanical man overboard!,Fry,"Go after him, Leela!"
Fry,"Go after him, Leela!",Leela,It's no use. We were going full speed when we fired him so he's going even faster than that.
Leela,It's no use. We were going full speed when we fired him so he's going even faster than that.,Fry,You mean we can never catch up to him? Not even if we rub the engine with cheetah blood?
Fry,You mean we can never catch up to him? Not even if we rub the engine with cheetah blood?,Leela,"I don't know how to say this, Fry, but Bender is doomed to drift through space ... forever."
Leela,"I don't know how to say this, Fry, but Bender is doomed to drift through space ... forever.",Fry,"He always wanted to drift forever, but through the American Southwest."
Fry,"He always wanted to drift forever, but through the American Southwest.",Bender,Damn you!
Bender,Damn you!,Bender,Well that was fun. Now for eons of loneliness.
Bender,Well that was fun. Now for eons of loneliness.,Bender,Huh?
Bender,Huh?,Shrimpkin,"Priest: Fellow Shrimpkins, behold him who hath taken us unto his breast."
Shrimpkin,"Priest: Fellow Shrimpkins, behold him who hath taken us unto his breast.",Shrimpkin,Priest: All bow before the great Metal Lord!
Shrimpkin,Priest: All bow before the great Metal Lord!,Bender,"Worshippers? This ought to liven up my endless, tragic voyage."
Bender,"Worshippers? This ought to liven up my endless, tragic voyage.",Shrimpkin,Priest: All hail the Metal Lord!
Shrimpkin,Priest: All hail the Metal Lord!,Shrimpkins,So hailed!
Shrimpkins,So hailed!,Bender,I am the Metal Lord. Who are you?
Bender,I am the Metal Lord. Who are you?,Malachi,loves the Metal Lord.
Malachi,loves the Metal Lord.,Bender.,Time for a religious donation. Hand over your wallet.
Bender.,Time for a religious donation. Hand over your wallet.,Malachi,"But, Lord, we are a poor and simple folk."
Malachi,"But, Lord, we are a poor and simple folk.",Bender,"Poor? Oh, crap."
Bender,"Poor? Oh, crap.",Malachi,"Pity me not, for I am richened by the love of my family."
Malachi,"Pity me not, for I am richened by the love of my family.",Malachi's,"Wife: What art thou doing, Malachi Jr.?"
Malachi's,"Wife: What art thou doing, Malachi Jr.?",Malachi,Jr. Mmm! Mmm!
Malachi,Jr. Mmm! Mmm!,Bender,Number one...
Bender,Number one...,Malachi,Behold: The One Commandment.
Malachi,Behold: The One Commandment.,Bender,Make it a double!
Bender,Make it a double!,Fry,"Can you find him, Professor?"
Fry,"Can you find him, Professor?",Farnsworth,No. I'm afraid the Smellescope isn't powerful enough. Bender's odour is so mild it's being overpowered by local sources.
Farnsworth,No. I'm afraid the Smellescope isn't powerful enough. Bender's odour is so mild it's being overpowered by local sources.,Zoidberg,Hooray! People are paying attention to me!
Zoidberg,Hooray! People are paying attention to me!,Amy,"Fry, we brought someone to cheer you up."
Amy,"Fry, we brought someone to cheer you up.",Hermes,His name is Helper and he's eager to be your new best friend.
Hermes,His name is Helper and he's eager to be your new best friend.,Helper,"Hello there, chum. I understand you miss your buddy. Have a pudding pop!"
Helper,"Hello there, chum. I understand you miss your buddy. Have a pudding pop!",Fry,"No, thanks, I don't--"
Fry,"No, thanks, I don't--",Helper,Who wants to go to an amusement park?
Helper,Who wants to go to an amusement park?,Fry,"Well, I guess that sounds OK."
Fry,"Well, I guess that sounds OK.",Helper,"Have a good time. Hey, I heard your friend Bender is back."
Helper,"Have a good time. Hey, I heard your friend Bender is back.",Fry,What? Really?
Fry,What? Really?,Helper,No. I just thought you would enjoy that for a moment.
Helper,No. I just thought you would enjoy that for a moment.,Bender,"Malachi, good work. There's no slowing down with the Metal Lord tonight."
Bender,"Malachi, good work. There's no slowing down with the Metal Lord tonight.",Malachi,"Yes, tonight is kind of special."
Malachi,"Yes, tonight is kind of special.",Bender,Wait a second. Did you rip off your own arm as a joke?
Bender,Wait a second. Did you rip off your own arm as a joke?,Malachi,"And, of course, the liquor industry attracted organised crime."
Malachi,"And, of course, the liquor industry attracted organised crime.",Bender,"It's all my fault. Malachi, tell thy people that the Lord is moved by their plight."
Bender,"It's all my fault. Malachi, tell thy people that the Lord is moved by their plight.",Malachi's,"Wife: Malachi Jr., no!"
Malachi's,"Wife: Malachi Jr., no!",Malachi,"Jr.: Daddy, I can't hold much longer. My arms are tired from hugging."
Malachi,"Jr.: Daddy, I can't hold much longer. My arms are tired from hugging.",Malachi,"Save him! Save my son, oh Metal Lord!"
Malachi,"Save him! Save my son, oh Metal Lord!",Bender,"What the-- Malachi, what manner of deal is this with the chanting?"
Bender,"What the-- Malachi, what manner of deal is this with the chanting?",Malachi,They saw you save my son. Now everyone is praying for their own miracles.
Malachi,They saw you save my son. Now everyone is praying for their own miracles.,Bender,Very well. What do they want?
Bender,Very well. What do they want?,Malachi,The people of that village pray for wealth.
Malachi,The people of that village pray for wealth.,Bender,"Um, that was a practice miracle. Who's next?"
Bender,"Um, that was a practice miracle. Who's next?",Malachi,The farmers pray for sunlight so their barley might make a more refreshing beer for today's God on the go.
Malachi,The farmers pray for sunlight so their barley might make a more refreshing beer for today's God on the go.,Bender,"Um, when you're writing the Bible, you might want to omit that last miracle."
Bender,"Um, when you're writing the Bible, you might want to omit that last miracle.",Fry!,"If I can't reach you physically, I'll just have to try something desperate and crazy!"
Fry!,"If I can't reach you physically, I'll just have to try something desperate and crazy!",Fry,"So that's my story, Father Changstein el Gamahl. Is there anything religion can do to help me find my friend?"
Fry,"So that's my story, Father Changstein el Gamahl. Is there anything religion can do to help me find my friend?",Changstein,"el Gamahl: Well, we could join together in prayer."
Changstein,"el Gamahl: Well, we could join together in prayer.",Fry,Uh-huh. But is there anything useful we can do?
Fry,Uh-huh. But is there anything useful we can do?,Changstein,el Gamahl: No.
Changstein,el Gamahl: No.,Fry,Bonder? Is it really you?
Fry,Bonder? Is it really you?,Gypsy,Yes. I am fine. Give the gypsy $10.
Gypsy,Yes. I am fine. Give the gypsy $10.,Fry,"Wait a minute! Bender's name isn't Bonder, it's Bender. You're a fraud!"
Fry,"Wait a minute! Bender's name isn't Bonder, it's Bender. You're a fraud!",Gypsy,"Look, you want false hope or not?"
Gypsy,"Look, you want false hope or not?",Fry,Only if you don't have any real hope.
Fry,Only if you don't have any real hope.,Gypsy,"Well, there is perhaps one way. Have you heard of the Monks of Dschubba?"
Gypsy,"Well, there is perhaps one way. Have you heard of the Monks of Dschubba?",Fry,heard of them.
Fry,heard of them.,Gypsy,"They are an ancient order that believes God exists somewhere in the depths of space. They have built the universe's most powerful radio telescope, high in the Himalayas, to search for him."
Gypsy,"They are an ancient order that believes God exists somewhere in the depths of space. They have built the universe's most powerful radio telescope, high in the Himalayas, to search for him.",Fry,You think they'd let me use it to look for Bender?
Fry,You think they'd let me use it to look for Bender?,Gypsy,"What am I, psychic? I mean, yes! Yes, I'm-I'm sure they will. Yes."
Gypsy,"What am I, psychic? I mean, yes! Yes, I'm-I'm sure they will. Yes.",Malachi,"Oh, Metal Lord, hear my prayer."
Malachi,"Oh, Metal Lord, hear my prayer.",Bender,"Yes, Malachi, what is it this time?"
Bender,"Yes, Malachi, what is it this time?",Malachi,"My Lord, the infidels on your back no longer believe in you. They say their prayers go unheeded."
Malachi,"My Lord, the infidels on your back no longer believe in you. They say their prayers go unheeded.",Bender,Of course they're unheeded. How am I supposed to hear prayers coming out of my ass?
Bender,Of course they're unheeded. How am I supposed to hear prayers coming out of my ass?,Malachi,They talk of war against the faithful. I beseech thee. Rise up against them. Smite someone who deserves it for once.
Malachi,They talk of war against the faithful. I beseech thee. Rise up against them. Smite someone who deserves it for once.,Bender,"Malachi, every time I interfere, I only make things worse. You're best off solving your own problems."
Bender,"Malachi, every time I interfere, I only make things worse. You're best off solving your own problems.",Malachi,But-But Metal Lord.
Malachi,But-But Metal Lord.,Bender,What part of nay doesn't thou understand?
Bender,What part of nay doesn't thou understand?,Fry,"Sir, I'm outfitting an expedition to a monastery high in the Himalayas. I'll need a long-sleeved coat."
Fry,"Sir, I'm outfitting an expedition to a monastery high in the Himalayas. I'll need a long-sleeved coat.",Leela,"Look, I miss Bender almost half as much as you do but you can't bring him back this way. It's hopeless."
Leela,"Look, I miss Bender almost half as much as you do but you can't bring him back this way. It's hopeless.",Fry,I'd also like a pack mule.
Fry,I'd also like a pack mule.,Salesman,"At once, sir!"
Salesman,"At once, sir!",Leela,"Well, you obviously won't listen to reason, so I guess I'll listen to idiotic-ness and come with you. But we'll need a sherpa to guide us."
Leela,"Well, you obviously won't listen to reason, so I guess I'll listen to idiotic-ness and come with you. But we'll need a sherpa to guide us.",Bender,"Atomic bombs? Oh, no! Those unbelievers from my backside must have found my nuclear pile!"
Bender,"Atomic bombs? Oh, no! Those unbelievers from my backside must have found my nuclear pile!",Malachi,"Fear not, my Lord. We shall be with you soon."
Malachi,"Fear not, my Lord. We shall be with you soon.",Bender,You're with me now. This is the maximum level of being with me!
Bender,You're with me now. This is the maximum level of being with me!,Malachi,We will solve our own problems as you commanded. The time has come to convert the unbelievers.
Malachi,We will solve our own problems as you commanded. The time has come to convert the unbelievers.,Bender,Convert them?
Bender,Convert them?,Malachi,Jr. hard he'll save us from--
Malachi,Jr. hard he'll save us from--,Bender,Ooh! It tickles!
Bender,Ooh! It tickles!,Bender,They're dead. All dead. Who would have known playing God could have such terrible consequences?
Bender,They're dead. All dead. Who would have known playing God could have such terrible consequences?,Leela,"Fry, if I drop dead from exhaustion, make sure my body freezes in a dignified position. None of that huddled over for warmth crap."
Leela,"Fry, if I drop dead from exhaustion, make sure my body freezes in a dignified position. None of that huddled over for warmth crap.",Namgyal,Behold. The Monastery of Dschubba. I must leave you now for I am not holy enough to enter.
Namgyal,Behold. The Monastery of Dschubba. I must leave you now for I am not holy enough to enter.,Fry,OK.
Fry,OK.,Leela,Looks rickety. We'd better test it.
Leela,Looks rickety. We'd better test it.,Female,Voice: Welcome to our monastery. Please stand to one side to let faster pilgrims by.
Female,Voice: Welcome to our monastery. Please stand to one side to let faster pilgrims by.,Bender,Hey! That galaxy's signalling in binary. I gotta signal back. But I only know enough binary to ask where the bathroom is. You speak English?
Bender,Hey! That galaxy's signalling in binary. I gotta signal back. But I only know enough binary to ask where the bathroom is. You speak English?,Galaxy,I do now.
Galaxy,I do now.,Bender,What are you? Some kind of galactic computer?
Bender,What are you? Some kind of galactic computer?,Galaxy,"Possible. I am user friendly, my good chum."
Galaxy,"Possible. I am user friendly, my good chum.",Bender,Who built you?
Bender,Who built you?,Galaxy,I have always been.
Galaxy,I have always been.,Bender,"Oh, my God. Are you God?"
Bender,"Oh, my God. Are you God?",God,"Possible. I do feel compassion for all living things, my good chum."
God,"Possible. I do feel compassion for all living things, my good chum.",Bender,"But why would God think in binary? Unless ... you're not God, but the remains of a computerised space probe that collided with God."
Bender,"But why would God think in binary? Unless ... you're not God, but the remains of a computerised space probe that collided with God.",God,That seems probable.
God,That seems probable.,Monk,"#1: A member of our brotherhood sits at these controls every hour of every day, scanning the heavens for God."
Monk,"#1: A member of our brotherhood sits at these controls every hour of every day, scanning the heavens for God.",Monk,"#2: There he is! No. No, wait, no."
Monk,"#2: There he is! No. No, wait, no.",Leela,How long have you been at it?
Leela,How long have you been at it?,Monk,"#1: 700 years. We've not yet examined one-ten-millionth of the sky. But we will go on until we find the Almighty, even if it takes till the end of time."
Monk,"#1: 700 years. We've not yet examined one-ten-millionth of the sky. But we will go on until we find the Almighty, even if it takes till the end of time.",Fry,And then what?
Fry,And then what?,Monk,"#1: Then we utter unto him a short prayer. You see, the telescope is also an amplifying transmitter."
Monk,"#1: Then we utter unto him a short prayer. You see, the telescope is also an amplifying transmitter.",Leela,Sort of like a giant karaoke machine?
Leela,Sort of like a giant karaoke machine?,Monk,#1: Not really. Would you like to see our giant karaoke machine?
Monk,#1: Not really. Would you like to see our giant karaoke machine?,Leela,Not really.
Leela,Not really.,Fry,"Hmm. Finding God. That-That's important, yeah. But you know what might be a treat for everyone? If you let me use the telescope to find my lost friend, Bender."
Fry,"Hmm. Finding God. That-That's important, yeah. But you know what might be a treat for everyone? If you let me use the telescope to find my lost friend, Bender.",Monk,"#1: I don't know what to say, other than absolutely not. Your loss is a tragedy but our work--"
Monk,"#1: I don't know what to say, other than absolutely not. Your loss is a tragedy but our work--",Fry,"Aw, come on! You guys have forever to look for God. All I'm asking is one measly lifetime to find my friend."
Fry,"Aw, come on! You guys have forever to look for God. All I'm asking is one measly lifetime to find my friend.",Monk,#2 God.
Monk,#2 God.,Monk,"#1: Oh, how convenient! A theory about God that doesn't require looking through a telescope. Get back to work!"
Monk,"#1: Oh, how convenient! A theory about God that doesn't require looking through a telescope. Get back to work!",Fry,That telescope is as much mine as anybody's. I'm using it whether you give me permission or not.
Fry,That telescope is as much mine as anybody's. I'm using it whether you give me permission or not.,Leela,"Hi-yah! Your order may be famous for your martial arts, but I've never met a holy man I couldn't clobber."
Leela,"Hi-yah! Your order may be famous for your martial arts, but I've never met a holy man I couldn't clobber.",Monk,"#1: Actually, we only practise martial arts as a form of meditation. We are a strictly non-violent sect."
Monk,"#1: Actually, we only practise martial arts as a form of meditation. We are a strictly non-violent sect.",Leela,Oh. Then get in the laundry room or I'll kick your butts!
Leela,Oh. Then get in the laundry room or I'll kick your butts!,Monk,#3: This is the worst crazy sect I've ever been in.
Monk,#3: This is the worst crazy sect I've ever been in.,Bender,"So, do you know what I'm gonna do before I do it?"
Bender,"So, do you know what I'm gonna do before I do it?",God,Yes.
God,Yes.,Bender,What if I do something different?
Bender,What if I do something different?,God,Then I don't know that.
God,Then I don't know that.,Bender,"Cool! Cool! I bet a lot of people pray to you, huh?"
Bender,"Cool! Cool! I bet a lot of people pray to you, huh?",God,"Yes. But there are so many asking so much. After a while, you just sorta tune it out."
God,"Yes. But there are so many asking so much. After a while, you just sorta tune it out.",Bender,"Y'know, I was God once."
Bender,"Y'know, I was God once.",God,"Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."
God,"Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died.",Bender,"It was awful. I tried helping them, I tried not helping them but in the end I couldn't do them any good. Do you think what I did was wrong?"
Bender,"It was awful. I tried helping them, I tried not helping them but in the end I couldn't do them any good. Do you think what I did was wrong?",God,Right and wrong are just words. What matters is what you do.
God,Right and wrong are just words. What matters is what you do.,Bender,"Yeah I know, that's why I asked if what I did-- Forget it."
Bender,"Yeah I know, that's why I asked if what I did-- Forget it.",God,"Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch like a safecracker or a pickpocket."
God,"Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch like a safecracker or a pickpocket.",Bender,Or a guy who burns down the bar for the insurance money.
Bender,Or a guy who burns down the bar for the insurance money.,God,"Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all."
God,"Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.",Bender,Does that mean you wouldn't send me back to Earth even if I prayed to you?
Bender,Does that mean you wouldn't send me back to Earth even if I prayed to you?,God,Earth? Which way is that?
God,Earth? Which way is that?,Bender,I don't know.
Bender,I don't know.,Fry,Bender? Bender?
Fry,Bender? Bender?,Monk,#2: Let us out! We cooked our shoes in the dryer and ate them. Now we're bored.
Monk,#2: Let us out! We cooked our shoes in the dryer and ate them. Now we're bored.,Fry,Hello? Has anyone out there seen Bender?
Fry,Hello? Has anyone out there seen Bender?,H.G.,Blob: No! Quit asking.
H.G.,Blob: No! Quit asking.,Leela,"Fry, it's been three days. And even if you stay here the rest of your life, there is virtually no chance of finding him. It's time to give up."
Leela,"Fry, it's been three days. And even if you stay here the rest of your life, there is virtually no chance of finding him. It's time to give up.",Fry,"But still, I wish I had Bender back."
Fry,"But still, I wish I had Bender back.",God,Huh?
God,Huh?,Bender,Huh? Wha? You say something?
Bender,Huh? Wha? You say something?,God,"No, no. Well, so long. Remember what we talked about."
God,"No, no. Well, so long. Remember what we talked about.",Bender,"Hot, hot, hot, hot!"
Bender,"Hot, hot, hot, hot!",Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Leela,"This is, by a wide margin, the least likely thing that has ever happened."
Leela,"This is, by a wide margin, the least likely thing that has ever happened.",Bender,God!
Bender,God!,Fry,We climbed a mountain and locked up some monks.
Fry,We climbed a mountain and locked up some monks.,Leela,"Oh, no! The monks! We forgot to let them out of the laundry room."
Leela,"Oh, no! The monks! We forgot to let them out of the laundry room.",Fry,"Do we have to? I mean, they're monks. I'm sure their God will let them out or at least give them more shoes to eat."
Fry,"Do we have to? I mean, they're monks. I'm sure their God will let them out or at least give them more shoes to eat.",Bender,"Fat chance! You can't count on God for jack. He pretty much told me so himself. Now come on. If we don't save those monks, no one will!"
Bender,"Fat chance! You can't count on God for jack. He pretty much told me so himself. Now come on. If we don't save those monks, no one will!",God,"When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all."
God,"When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.",Man,Yes! Good thing I noticed the similar shapes.
Man,Yes! Good thing I noticed the similar shapes.,Hermes,"Planet Express stockholders, I present our chief executive officer, Professor Hubert Farnsworth."
Hermes,"Planet Express stockholders, I present our chief executive officer, Professor Hubert Farnsworth.",Farnsworth,Oh!
Farnsworth,Oh!,Amy,There he is!
Amy,There he is!,Hattie,Take it off!
Hattie,Take it off!,Farnsworth,Where am I?
Farnsworth,Where am I?,Hermes,Move forward. Walk into the light.
Hermes,Move forward. Walk into the light.,Farnsworth,"Thank you all for coming. I don't recognise any of you, nor can I recall why I am here. Now, without further ado, a film highlighting Planet Express Inc.'s latest fiscal year."
Farnsworth,"Thank you all for coming. I don't recognise any of you, nor can I recall why I am here. Now, without further ado, a film highlighting Planet Express Inc.'s latest fiscal year.",Narrator,It was a year of soaring profits and significant one-time losses.
Narrator,It was a year of soaring profits and significant one-time losses.,Fry,Psst! Watching myself work is making me hungry. Help me find some food somewhere.
Fry,Psst! Watching myself work is making me hungry. Help me find some food somewhere.,Zoidberg,"I'll not only help you find it, I'll help you do more to it!"
Zoidberg,"I'll not only help you find it, I'll help you do more to it!",Fry,"Ooh! A Bot Mitzvah. Shalom, hunger! Shalom, free food!"
Fry,"Ooh! A Bot Mitzvah. Shalom, hunger! Shalom, free food!",Robot,#1: No shellfish!
Robot,#1: No shellfish!,Zoidberg,That is so unfair!
Zoidberg,That is so unfair!,Pig,Tell me about it.
Pig,Tell me about it.,Fry,So what's the deal? You guys don't believe in Robot Jesus?
Fry,So what's the deal? You guys don't believe in Robot Jesus?,Rabbi-bot,We believe he was built and that he was a very well programmed robot. But he wasn't our Messiah.
Rabbi-bot,We believe he was built and that he was a very well programmed robot. But he wasn't our Messiah.,Narrator,"And so our company flames onwards. Planet Express: Limitless potential, boundless horizons, the unstoppable juggernaut of the corporate universe."
Narrator,"And so our company flames onwards. Planet Express: Limitless potential, boundless horizons, the unstoppable juggernaut of the corporate universe.",Hermes,"It's been a terrible year, people. The company is on the verge of bankruptcy."
Hermes,"It's been a terrible year, people. The company is on the verge of bankruptcy.",Leela,But the movie--
Leela,But the movie--,Hermes,"The blue slice represents the money we earned from shipping packages, while the green slice represents an $8 bank error in our favour."
Hermes,"The blue slice represents the money we earned from shipping packages, while the green slice represents an $8 bank error in our favour.",Leela,This toads the wet sprocket. What about out thousands of shares of stock?
Leela,This toads the wet sprocket. What about out thousands of shares of stock?,Hermes,Worthless.
Hermes,Worthless.,Bender,I'll kill you!
Bender,I'll kill you!,Hattie,I own one share of Planet kajiggers so I'm entitled to some answers. Question 1: Why does no one visit me in my home?
Hattie,I own one share of Planet kajiggers so I'm entitled to some answers. Question 1: Why does no one visit me in my home?,Farnsworth,'Cause your apartment smells like Polygrip and cat pee.
Farnsworth,'Cause your apartment smells like Polygrip and cat pee.,Fry,This is perfect for me.
Fry,This is perfect for me.,Zoidberg,You didn't let me finish. I was going to say to get the free food.
Zoidberg,You didn't let me finish. I was going to say to get the free food.,Joe,My name's Joe and I'm a defrostee.
Joe,My name's Joe and I'm a defrostee.,All,"Hello, Joe."
All,"Hello, Joe.",Joe,"When I was frozen, giant carrots ruled the Earth, but now they don't. It takes some getting used to."
Joe,"When I was frozen, giant carrots ruled the Earth, but now they don't. It takes some getting used to.",Steve,"Castle: Back in the 1980's, I was the toast of Wall Street. I was having whiskey with Boesky and cookies with Milken. But then, I was diagnosed with terminal boneitis."
Steve,"Castle: Back in the 1980's, I was the toast of Wall Street. I was having whiskey with Boesky and cookies with Milken. But then, I was diagnosed with terminal boneitis.",Fry,Boneitis? Pft! That's a funny name for a horrible disease.
Fry,Boneitis? Pft! That's a funny name for a horrible disease.,Steve,"Castle Naturally I froze myself until a cure was found. Now here I am, ready to sleaze my way back to the top, 80's style!"
Steve,"Castle Naturally I froze myself until a cure was found. Now here I am, ready to sleaze my way back to the top, 80's style!",Caveman,The hardest thing was seeing my wife on display in the British Museum.
Caveman,The hardest thing was seeing my wife on display in the British Museum.,Steve,Castle: Sure do! We can dance!
Steve,Castle: Sure do! We can dance!,Fry,"Y'know, that dance wasn't as safe as they said it was."
Fry,"Y'know, that dance wasn't as safe as they said it was.",Steve,"Castle: I tell you: Two go-go 80's Reagan-auts like us, we could rule this world!"
Steve,"Castle: I tell you: Two go-go 80's Reagan-auts like us, we could rule this world!",Fry,No question!
Fry,No question!,Steve,Castle: If only someone would give us a shot.
Steve,Castle: If only someone would give us a shot.,Fry,"They're scared of our raw power. Oh, but if you want a job, I could beg everyone at the company where I work."
Fry,"They're scared of our raw power. Oh, but if you want a job, I could beg everyone at the company where I work.",Steve,Castle: Awesome. Awesome to the max!
Steve,Castle: Awesome. Awesome to the max!,Hermes,"And finally, the post office meter is for business mail only."
Hermes,"And finally, the post office meter is for business mail only.",Bender,"Aw, come on! I've got a lot of ransom notes to send!"
Bender,"Aw, come on! I've got a lot of ransom notes to send!",Hattie,Enough talk. It's time for action. I move that everyone come to my apartment to snuggle my cat.
Hattie,Enough talk. It's time for action. I move that everyone come to my apartment to snuggle my cat.,Scruffy,Second.
Scruffy,Second.,Farnsworth,I move that your cat stinks and is ugly.
Farnsworth,I move that your cat stinks and is ugly.,Scruffy,Second.
Scruffy,Second.,Hattie,I move that we vote on a new chief executive officer and oust this old creep. And also that make cat smells good and is pretty.
Hattie,I move that we vote on a new chief executive officer and oust this old creep. And also that make cat smells good and is pretty.,Scruffy,Second.
Scruffy,Second.,Hermes,Very well. I nominate the Professor.
Hermes,Very well. I nominate the Professor.,Amy,Second.
Amy,Second.,Leela,Second.
Leela,Second.,Bender,Second.
Bender,Second.,Farnsworth,I'm your man.
Farnsworth,I'm your man.,Leela,"I vote my 10,000 shares for the Professor."
Leela,"I vote my 10,000 shares for the Professor.",Hermes,"Yeah, the Professor!"
Hermes,"Yeah, the Professor!",Farnsworth,Me!
Farnsworth,Me!,Fry,"My shares still count if they went through the washing machine, right?"
Fry,"My shares still count if they went through the washing machine, right?",Hermes,"Well, if I know anything about which number is bigger than the other number, I'd say that--"
Hermes,"Well, if I know anything about which number is bigger than the other number, I'd say that--",Scruffy,"Now hold on there. Scruffy votes his 40,000 shares for the mysterious stranger."
Scruffy,"Now hold on there. Scruffy votes his 40,000 shares for the mysterious stranger.",Leela,"40,000? How come you have four-times as much stock as the rest of us?"
Leela,"40,000? How come you have four-times as much stock as the rest of us?",Scruffy,Scruffy believes in this company.
Scruffy,Scruffy believes in this company.,Hermes,"Then we have a tie. And in the event of a tie, the Professor, as the current CEO remains--"
Hermes,"Then we have a tie. And in the event of a tie, the Professor, as the current CEO remains--",Hattie,Hey! You ate my change!
Hattie,Hey! You ate my change!,Hermes,Then it's settled. The new chief executive officer of Planet Express corporation is That Guy.
Hermes,Then it's settled. The new chief executive officer of Planet Express corporation is That Guy.,Hermes,"Please welcome our new chief executive officer, That Guy."
Hermes,"Please welcome our new chief executive officer, That Guy.",Steve,Castle: Let's cut to the chase. There are two kinds of people: Sheep and sharks. Anyone who's a sheep is fired. Who's a sheep?
Steve,Castle: Let's cut to the chase. There are two kinds of people: Sheep and sharks. Anyone who's a sheep is fired. Who's a sheep?,Zoidberg,"Uh, excuse me? Which is the one people like to hug?"
Zoidberg,"Uh, excuse me? Which is the one people like to hug?",Steve,Castle I am proud to be the shepherd of this herd of sharks and I am gonna lead you to the top in this industry of ... of--
Steve,Castle I am proud to be the shepherd of this herd of sharks and I am gonna lead you to the top in this industry of ... of--,Fry,Package delivery.
Fry,Package delivery.,Steve,"Castle Fantastic! Now, the first order of business is to blame everything on the guy before me. Professor?"
Steve,"Castle Fantastic! Now, the first order of business is to blame everything on the guy before me. Professor?",Farnsworth,I'll ruin you like I ruined this company.
Farnsworth,I'll ruin you like I ruined this company.,Steve,Castle: Terrific. Question number one: What was your overall business plan?
Steve,Castle: Terrific. Question number one: What was your overall business plan?,Farnsworth,"Um, business plan, uh, yes. I keep it here, right next to my heart."
Farnsworth,"Um, business plan, uh, yes. I keep it here, right next to my heart.",Steve,"Castle: This isn't a business plan, it's an escape plan."
Steve,"Castle: This isn't a business plan, it's an escape plan.",Farnsworth,"So long, suckers!"
Farnsworth,"So long, suckers!",Steve,"Castle: Fry, as a fellow 80's dollar-jockey, I'm making you my new vice chairman."
Steve,"Castle: Fry, as a fellow 80's dollar-jockey, I'm making you my new vice chairman.",Fry,I'm rollin' up the corporate ramp.
Fry,I'm rollin' up the corporate ramp.,Zoidberg,It's the end of the line!
Zoidberg,It's the end of the line!,Hermes,We're ruined!
Hermes,We're ruined!,Scruffy,What fevered dream is this that bids to tear this company in twain?
Scruffy,What fevered dream is this that bids to tear this company in twain?,Monster,"Thank you, come again!"
Monster,"Thank you, come again!",Steve,Castle: That's what I call a hostile makeover! Hair gel?
Steve,Castle: That's what I call a hostile makeover! Hair gel?,Fry,"No, thanks. I make my own."
Fry,"No, thanks. I make my own.",Steve,"Castle: This company's gonna shoot straight to the top and stay there, like Cindy Lauper! I ask you: Who is the number one delivery service on Earth?"
Steve,"Castle: This company's gonna shoot straight to the top and stay there, like Cindy Lauper! I ask you: Who is the number one delivery service on Earth?",Zoidberg,"Is it Planet Express, master?"
Zoidberg,"Is it Planet Express, master?",Steve,Castle Mom's Friendly Delivery Company.
Steve,Castle Mom's Friendly Delivery Company.,Hermes,We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil. Ours is small and neutral.
Hermes,We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil. Ours is small and neutral.,Steve,Castle: Switzerland is small and neutral. We're more like Germany; ambitious and misunderstood.
Steve,Castle: Switzerland is small and neutral. We're more like Germany; ambitious and misunderstood.,Amy,"Look, everyone wants to be like Germany but do we really have the pure strength of will?"
Amy,"Look, everyone wants to be like Germany but do we really have the pure strength of will?",Steve,Castle: I say we do! Now are we gonna let ourselves get beaten by an old lady?
Steve,Castle: I say we do! Now are we gonna let ourselves get beaten by an old lady?,Zoidberg,"Yes, my liege!"
Zoidberg,"Yes, my liege!",Fry,Look at my butt!
Fry,Look at my butt!,Mom,"You call that a pressed ham? Walt, hit the retaliate button."
Mom,"You call that a pressed ham? Walt, hit the retaliate button.",Walt,Uh ... um ... hmm ... let's see.
Walt,Uh ... um ... hmm ... let's see.,Mom,Any button! They all retaliate!
Mom,Any button! They all retaliate!,Fry,Now this is the high life; watching apes mangle each other near celebrities.
Fry,Now this is the high life; watching apes mangle each other near celebrities.,Steve,Castle: In my day we went to coke parties but the principle's the same.
Steve,Castle: In my day we went to coke parties but the principle's the same.,Calculon,"Get your stinkin' trike off me, you damn dirty ape."
Calculon,"Get your stinkin' trike off me, you damn dirty ape.",Steve,"Castle: Listen, big guy, now that you're my protégé, it's time I cut you in on the secret to success. Any guesses?"
Steve,"Castle: Listen, big guy, now that you're my protégé, it's time I cut you in on the secret to success. Any guesses?",Fry,"Uh, work really, really hard?"
Fry,"Uh, work really, really hard?",Steve,Castle: No.
Steve,Castle: No.,Fry,"Oh, thank God!"
Fry,"Oh, thank God!",Steve,"Castle: It's all about appearances. That's why it's time to update our company's stodgy image and give it the sleek, dazzling veneer of the 1980's!"
Steve,"Castle: It's all about appearances. That's why it's time to update our company's stodgy image and give it the sleek, dazzling veneer of the 1980's!",Fry,This company's on the fast track to the It list. Blast back kudos all around!
Fry,This company's on the fast track to the It list. Blast back kudos all around!,Leela,"Uh, hello? We haven't made one delivery since you two took over."
Leela,"Uh, hello? We haven't made one delivery since you two took over.",Steve,"Castle: Delivery has nothing to do with the delivery business. Image, people, image! Scope out this new ad!"
Steve,"Castle: Delivery has nothing to do with the delivery business. Image, people, image! Scope out this new ad!",Mom,We shall prevail!
Mom,We shall prevail!,Man,Hey! We were watching that!
Man,Hey! We were watching that!,Leela,That was terrible! People won't even know what we do.
Leela,That was terrible! People won't even know what we do.,Bender,"I don't even know what we do. Nah, just kidding! What are, like, a bus or something?"
Bender,"I don't even know what we do. Nah, just kidding! What are, like, a bus or something?",Leela,"Did you approve that awful ad, Fry?"
Leela,"Did you approve that awful ad, Fry?",Fry,the brand.
Fry,the brand.,Leela,"Oh, Lord!"
Leela,"Oh, Lord!",Steve,Castle: Sold!
Steve,Castle: Sold!,Zoidberg,You got fleeced! I would have settled for a hard roll with ketchup inside!
Zoidberg,You got fleeced! I would have settled for a hard roll with ketchup inside!,Mom,I'm sick of hearing about those turtle squirts!
Mom,I'm sick of hearing about those turtle squirts!,Igner,"But they're kings, Mommy!"
Igner,"But they're kings, Mommy!",Mom,"Jam a bastard in it, you crap!"
Mom,"Jam a bastard in it, you crap!",Elzar,"Enjoy our private dining room, folks. This is where we serve our richest, most successful chumps!"
Elzar,"Enjoy our private dining room, folks. This is where we serve our richest, most successful chumps!",Fry,"Tonight, that's us!"
Fry,"Tonight, that's us!",Steve,Castle: What have you got that's really overpriced?
Steve,Castle: What have you got that's really overpriced?,Elzar,Everything.
Elzar,Everything.,Steve,Castle: Bring me that.
Steve,Castle: Bring me that.,Fry,Make it two. And a glass of all your water.
Fry,Make it two. And a glass of all your water.,Steve,"Castle: OK, let's work on your execu-speak. I'm worried about blank."
Steve,"Castle: OK, let's work on your execu-speak. I'm worried about blank.",Fry,Don't you worry about blank. Let me worry about blank.
Fry,Don't you worry about blank. Let me worry about blank.,Steve,Castle You're not looking at the big picture!
Steve,Castle You're not looking at the big picture!,Fry,What a pleasant surprise!
Fry,What a pleasant surprise!,Mom,"Shut up, booger blaster! It's time the three of us had a talk."
Mom,"Shut up, booger blaster! It's time the three of us had a talk.",Steve,"Castle: I'll handle this, Fry. You get back to the farm, shift some paradigms, revolutionise outside the box."
Steve,"Castle: I'll handle this, Fry. You get back to the farm, shift some paradigms, revolutionise outside the box.",Fry,"I'm on it. But if you need me, you know where I'll be."
Fry,"I'm on it. But if you need me, you know where I'll be.",Fry,Call me a booger blaster! I'll blast a booger so hard that--
Fry,Call me a booger blaster! I'll blast a booger so hard that--,Leela,"Fry, we're worried about Planet Express."
Leela,"Fry, we're worried about Planet Express.",Fry,Don't you worry about Planet Express. Let me worry about blank.
Fry,Don't you worry about Planet Express. Let me worry about blank.,Hermes,That Guy is nothing but a flashy con man! And you've been hypnotised by his swinging baloney!
Hermes,That Guy is nothing but a flashy con man! And you've been hypnotised by his swinging baloney!,Leela,"You've changed, Fry."
Leela,"You've changed, Fry.",Fry,Suz? Have I changed?
Fry,Suz? Have I changed?,Suz,"No, sir, Mr. Fry."
Suz,"No, sir, Mr. Fry.",Fry,"Thanks, doll."
Fry,"Thanks, doll.",Farnsworth,"This isn't a business. I've always thought of it more as a source of cheap labour, like a family."
Farnsworth,"This isn't a business. I've always thought of it more as a source of cheap labour, like a family.",Fry,"You're right, Professor. We might not be a traditional family like the Murphy's next door or the lesbian coven across the street. But we are a family and That Guy understands that."
Fry,"You're right, Professor. We might not be a traditional family like the Murphy's next door or the lesbian coven across the street. But we are a family and That Guy understands that.",Steve,Castle: Everyone's fired and we're out of business.
Steve,Castle: Everyone's fired and we're out of business.,Amy,"Oh, no!"
Amy,"Oh, no!",Hermes,How?
Hermes,How?,Steve,Castle: I'm gonna sell Planet Express to Mom so she can gut the company and eliminate us as competitors.
Steve,Castle: I'm gonna sell Planet Express to Mom so she can gut the company and eliminate us as competitors.,Mom,"Don't let the door hit you on the way out, 'cause I don't want ass prints on my new door!"
Mom,"Don't let the door hit you on the way out, 'cause I don't want ass prints on my new door!",Fry,"Uh, Ms. Johnson? Please bring in some more chair fuel."
Fry,"Uh, Ms. Johnson? Please bring in some more chair fuel.",Fry,I had no idea the company would be sold. I was just an innocent suck-up. You've gotta believe me!
Fry,I had no idea the company would be sold. I was just an innocent suck-up. You've gotta believe me!,Leela,Just leave us alone and let us clear out our lockers.
Leela,Just leave us alone and let us clear out our lockers.,Bender,Yeah!
Bender,Yeah!,Amy,"It's so sad, where will I go? What will I do?"
Amy,"It's so sad, where will I go? What will I do?",Lackey,"You have Mrs. Darlinghaven's cotillion at 7, ma'am."
Lackey,"You have Mrs. Darlinghaven's cotillion at 7, ma'am.",Amy,Oh. That'll be fun.
Amy,Oh. That'll be fun.,Fry,"Ms. Johnson, you've never lied to me. Am I still a good person?"
Fry,"Ms. Johnson, you've never lied to me. Am I still a good person?",Suz,"I don't know, sir. I'm a program built into the intercom."
Suz,"I don't know, sir. I'm a program built into the intercom.",Fry,"I've got to redeem myself. Somehow, sometime, for some reason. I'll block this takeover!"
Fry,"I've got to redeem myself. Somehow, sometime, for some reason. I'll block this takeover!",Suz,"Mr. Fry, your two o'clock magician is here."
Suz,"Mr. Fry, your two o'clock magician is here.",Fry,Reschedule.
Fry,Reschedule.,Broker-bot,#1: Sell 100 soylent beans!
Broker-bot,#1: Sell 100 soylent beans!,Broker-bot,"#2: Buy 3,000 cornbellies!"
Broker-bot,"#2: Buy 3,000 cornbellies!",Broker-bot,#3: 200 canned whoop-ass!
Broker-bot,#3: 200 canned whoop-ass!,Broker-bot,#1: Three big bags of trash!
Broker-bot,#1: Three big bags of trash!,Jor-El,"Attention, please. The takeover of PlanEx Corp. by Mom's Delivery Company will take place in the business centre in 10 minutes. I am Jor-El, master of scheduling!"
Jor-El,"Attention, please. The takeover of PlanEx Corp. by Mom's Delivery Company will take place in the business centre in 10 minutes. I am Jor-El, master of scheduling!",Steve,"Castle: OK. We've got the hot tub hot, the wine cooler's cool. It's Hammer time!"
Steve,"Castle: OK. We've got the hot tub hot, the wine cooler's cool. It's Hammer time!",Bender,You suck!
Bender,You suck!,Mom,"According to regulations, both companies must approve the takeover. Planet Express shareholders, cast your votes."
Mom,"According to regulations, both companies must approve the takeover. Planet Express shareholders, cast your votes.",Hermes,Great Bonda of Uganda! We can vote against it!
Hermes,Great Bonda of Uganda! We can vote against it!,Bender,I'll vote it down like a raise for school teachers!
Bender,I'll vote it down like a raise for school teachers!,Bender,What the--?
Bender,What the--?,Hattie,How the--?
Hattie,How the--?,Amy,"Oh, no!"
Amy,"Oh, no!",Steve,Castle: I neglected to mention that the shares I bought from Dr. Zoidberg gave me majority control.
Steve,Castle: I neglected to mention that the shares I bought from Dr. Zoidberg gave me majority control.,Leela,Zoidberg owned 51% of the company?
Leela,Zoidberg owned 51% of the company?,Hermes,The shares were worthless and he kept asking for toilet paper.
Hermes,The shares were worthless and he kept asking for toilet paper.,Mom,ballots.
Mom,ballots.,Igner,"Uh, the ballot was confusing."
Igner,"Uh, the ballot was confusing.",Mom,How about a hand recount?
Mom,How about a hand recount?,Igner,Ow!
Igner,Ow!,Mom,The takeover of Planet Express is approved.
Mom,The takeover of Planet Express is approved.,Amy,This stinks!
Amy,This stinks!,Lackey,Madam is outraged.
Lackey,Madam is outraged.,Steve,"Castle: Security, I want that bunch of rowdies outta here."
Steve,"Castle: Security, I want that bunch of rowdies outta here.",Bender,Hold on a minute!
Bender,Hold on a minute!,Scruffy,Hey! Hey!
Scruffy,Hey! Hey!,Mom,"Momcorp will now purchase all outstanding shares of Planet Express at the current market price, which is:"
Mom,"Momcorp will now purchase all outstanding shares of Planet Express at the current market price, which is:",Jor-El,107.
Jor-El,107.,Bender,Ow! And also it hurt my feelings!
Bender,Ow! And also it hurt my feelings!,Horrible,Gelatinous Stockbroker: What are you solids griping about? Your shares are worth $107 apiece.
Horrible,Gelatinous Stockbroker: What are you solids griping about? Your shares are worth $107 apiece.,Leela,"They are? Oh, my God! I'm a millionaire! Suddenly I have an opinion about that capital gains tax!"
Leela,"They are? Oh, my God! I'm a millionaire! Suddenly I have an opinion about that capital gains tax!",Bender,Yeah! Alright!
Bender,Yeah! Alright!,Amy,I'm even richer!
Amy,I'm even richer!,Zoidberg,"Please, oh, please!"
Zoidberg,"Please, oh, please!",Hermes,"You didn't even refrigerate it, you spineless lobster!"
Hermes,"You didn't even refrigerate it, you spineless lobster!",Zoidberg,into this!
Zoidberg,into this!,Fry,"As vice chairman of Planet Express, I'd like to say a few words. There comes a time for every man who becomes rich and deserts his friends, when he goes back how it was. For me, that time is now."
Fry,"As vice chairman of Planet Express, I'd like to say a few words. There comes a time for every man who becomes rich and deserts his friends, when he goes back how it was. For me, that time is now.",Fry,"So I ask you, as a friend, won't you stop this deal?"
Fry,"So I ask you, as a friend, won't you stop this deal?",Steve,Castle My bones!
Steve,Castle My bones!,Fry,"Oh, my God! His boneitis!"
Fry,"Oh, my God! His boneitis!",Steve,Castle My only regret is ... that I have ... boneitis!
Steve,Castle My only regret is ... that I have ... boneitis!,Mom,"Pry out his fillings, feed him to the jackals and let's get on with the sale."
Mom,"Pry out his fillings, feed him to the jackals and let's get on with the sale.",Fry,"I don't think so. 'Cause, as vice chairman of the company, I gain voting control of his shares."
Fry,"I don't think so. 'Cause, as vice chairman of the company, I gain voting control of his shares.",Mom,"Don't be a fool, you idiot!"
Mom,"Don't be a fool, you idiot!",Fry,... Hubert Farnsworth.
Fry,... Hubert Farnsworth.,Farnsworth,"Oh, uh, what? I'm awake, I'm awake!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, uh, what? I'm awake, I'm awake!",Bender,"Fry! Stop doing the right thing, you jerk!"
Bender,"Fry! Stop doing the right thing, you jerk!",Leela,"Let Mom buy the company! We all wanna be filthy, stinking rich!"
Leela,"Let Mom buy the company! We all wanna be filthy, stinking rich!",Zoidberg,"Trust me, two out of three doesn't cut it!"
Zoidberg,"Trust me, two out of three doesn't cut it!",Fry,You mean you'd rather be rich than work together?
Fry,You mean you'd rather be rich than work together?,Leela,"Hell, yeah!"
Leela,"Hell, yeah!",Fry,"In my whole life, this company was the only place I'd ever really felt at home. If being millionaires is more important to you than our--"
Fry,"In my whole life, this company was the only place I'd ever really felt at home. If being millionaires is more important to you than our--",Bender,It is!
Bender,It is!,Fry,"Friendship, then I'll sell Planet Express, for you."
Fry,"Friendship, then I'll sell Planet Express, for you.",Hattie,Millionaires nothing! The stock's only worth three kajiggers!
Hattie,Millionaires nothing! The stock's only worth three kajiggers!,Bender,"Oh, come on!"
Bender,"Oh, come on!",Hermes,My Jah! It's worth less now than when it was worthless!
Hermes,My Jah! It's worth less now than when it was worthless!,Fry,It is? Yahoo! We're poor no matter what I do! The deal is off!
Fry,It is? Yahoo! We're poor no matter what I do! The deal is off!,Zoidberg,Why? Why?
Zoidberg,Why? Why?,Fry,"Look, so we're not millionaires. At least we all still get to work together."
Fry,"Look, so we're not millionaires. At least we all still get to work together.",Bender,Shut your fat mouth!
Bender,Shut your fat mouth!,Fry,See you guys Monday!
Fry,See you guys Monday!,Morbo,"Welcome back. Our next guest has been teaching the world to cook for over 20 years. But apparently my, uh, wife hasn't been listening."
Morbo,"Welcome back. Our next guest has been teaching the world to cook for over 20 years. But apparently my, uh, wife hasn't been listening.",Linda,"Oh, funny!"
Linda,"Oh, funny!",Morbo,"So, uh, Elzar, what will you be cooking for Morbo to devour with his mighty jaws?"
Morbo,"So, uh, Elzar, what will you be cooking for Morbo to devour with his mighty jaws?",Elzar,"Morbo, I'm gonna whip you up a nice, unnameable horror from beyond, with mango chutney."
Elzar,"Morbo, I'm gonna whip you up a nice, unnameable horror from beyond, with mango chutney.",Morbo,"Pathetic humans, prepare to write down the recipe!"
Morbo,"Pathetic humans, prepare to write down the recipe!",Fry,"Hey, uh, what's with all the pots and pans? You building a wife?"
Fry,"Hey, uh, what's with all the pots and pans? You building a wife?",Bender,"Part of one. Meantime, I'm cooking up a tasty Sunday brunch for my best friends."
Bender,"Part of one. Meantime, I'm cooking up a tasty Sunday brunch for my best friends.",Fry,the others!
Fry,the others!,Bender,Okey-dokey!
Bender,Okey-dokey!,Hermes,Ooh!
Hermes,Ooh!,Leela,Nice!
Leela,Nice!,Farnsworth,"Yes, it's a perfect scale model of the universe's largest bottle. I put a tiny spaceship inside to keep it from being boring."
Farnsworth,"Yes, it's a perfect scale model of the universe's largest bottle. I put a tiny spaceship inside to keep it from being boring.",Zoidberg,Oh!
Zoidberg,Oh!,Farnsworth,"For the last time, Zoidberg, look with your eyes, not with your claws."
Farnsworth,"For the last time, Zoidberg, look with your eyes, not with your claws.",Fry,Brace yourselves. Bender is making us brunch.
Fry,Brace yourselves. Bender is making us brunch.,Zoidberg,"Oh, boy!"
Zoidberg,"Oh, boy!",Farnsworth,"Oh, God! My tract!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, God! My tract!",Fry,He's so proud of his awful cooking. If we don't eat it he'll be crushed.
Fry,He's so proud of his awful cooking. If we don't eat it he'll be crushed.,Leela,"Alright, don't panic. If we can get to the ship, we can fly north and hide under the polar icecaps for a few weeks."
Leela,"Alright, don't panic. If we can get to the ship, we can fly north and hide under the polar icecaps for a few weeks.",Fry,Hurry!
Fry,Hurry!,Farnsworth,Good idea!
Farnsworth,Good idea!,Zoidberg,What's the hold-up?
Zoidberg,What's the hold-up?,Bender,Fleeing somewhere?
Bender,Fleeing somewhere?,Fry,With you blocking the only escape route? Don't be silly.
Fry,With you blocking the only escape route? Don't be silly.,Bender,"In that case brunch is served! Let's go! Move it out! Stop crying, Leela!"
Bender,"In that case brunch is served! Let's go! Move it out! Stop crying, Leela!",Farnsworth,"Zoidberg, are you coming?"
Farnsworth,"Zoidberg, are you coming?",Zoidberg,Sure. Me.
Zoidberg,Sure. Me.,Farnsworth,Because I don't want you touching that thing.
Farnsworth,Because I don't want you touching that thing.,Zoidberg,Ow! What? Oh!
Zoidberg,Ow! What? Oh!,Bender,Come on! Eat! I slaved all day over a filthy stove.
Bender,Come on! Eat! I slaved all day over a filthy stove.,Hermes,This is terrible!
Hermes,This is terrible!,Farnsworth,Good thing I secretly installed this wormhole in the table.
Farnsworth,Good thing I secretly installed this wormhole in the table.,Amy,Where does the other end come out?
Amy,Where does the other end come out?,Farnsworth,"Oh, dear me!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, dear me!",Bender,"The pie is ready. You guys like swarms of things, right?"
Bender,"The pie is ready. You guys like swarms of things, right?",Zoidberg,Ow! Ouch! Get off of me! Stop!
Zoidberg,Ow! Ouch! Get off of me! Stop!,Leela,"How interesting, Dr. Zoidberg. Do go on."
Leela,"How interesting, Dr. Zoidberg. Do go on.",Bender,"Hey, check out the palm tree! It only gets sick when I cook brunch! How's that for a coincidence, Professor? With all your precious science!"
Bender,"Hey, check out the palm tree! It only gets sick when I cook brunch! How's that for a coincidence, Professor? With all your precious science!",Fry,"Man, I don't wanna hurt Bender's feelings..."
Fry,"Man, I don't wanna hurt Bender's feelings...",Fry,But this food actually tastes better as vomit!
Fry,But this food actually tastes better as vomit!,Leela,It's unbearable! How much do you think it would cost to get my tongue removed?
Leela,It's unbearable! How much do you think it would cost to get my tongue removed?,Bender,And this time I mean it.
Bender,And this time I mean it.,Bender,Then it's settled! Elzar will teach me to cook!
Bender,Then it's settled! Elzar will teach me to cook!,Elzar,Absolutely not.
Elzar,Absolutely not.,Bender,But I watch your show. You owe me!
Bender,But I watch your show. You owe me!,Elzar,"I owe you nothing! For starter's, your antenna's in my crotch. Also, I hate you. Finally, you can't cook for squat."
Elzar,"I owe you nothing! For starter's, your antenna's in my crotch. Also, I hate you. Finally, you can't cook for squat.",Bender,What was the first one again?
Bender,What was the first one again?,Elzar,I hate you.
Elzar,I hate you.,Bender,I thought that was number two.
Bender,I thought that was number two.,Elzar,I knocked it up a notch. Bam!
Elzar,I knocked it up a notch. Bam!,Zoidberg,Frame someone!
Zoidberg,Frame someone!,Fry,What up?
Fry,What up?,Fry,Sunshine!
Fry,Sunshine!,Bender,It's over! My dream of being a chef is deader than the cat I'm sitting on!
Bender,It's over! My dream of being a chef is deader than the cat I'm sitting on!,Dandy,"Jim, old chum, let's give a friendly welcome to this new robo."
Dandy,"Jim, old chum, let's give a friendly welcome to this new robo.",Bender,What did you call me?
Bender,What did you call me?,Gus,A robo. You know? A robot-hobo.
Gus,A robo. You know? A robot-hobo.,Bender,"Oh, OK. I thought you said romo."
Bender,"Oh, OK. I thought you said romo.",Dandy,"Jim: No offence intended, my filthy friend. In fact, why not join us and ride the space rails?"
Dandy,"Jim: No offence intended, my filthy friend. In fact, why not join us and ride the space rails?",Gus,Get ready. We's gonna jump off at that switching prism up ahead.
Gus,Get ready. We's gonna jump off at that switching prism up ahead.,Dandy,"Jim: We're going nearly the speed of light so, uh, roll when you land."
Dandy,"Jim: We're going nearly the speed of light so, uh, roll when you land.",Bender,Ow.
Bender,Ow.,Gus,"Welcome to Bumbase Alpha, the biggest hobo jungle in the quadrant."
Gus,"Welcome to Bumbase Alpha, the biggest hobo jungle in the quadrant.",Bender,Wait. A pie with hobo-lifting aroma? Who baked it?
Bender,Wait. A pie with hobo-lifting aroma? Who baked it?,Gus,Helmut Spargle. He used to be the greatest chef ever.
Gus,Helmut Spargle. He used to be the greatest chef ever.,Dandy,"Jim: His restaurant was so high-toned, the only way to get reservations was to create a parallel universe where you already had reservations."
Dandy,"Jim: His restaurant was so high-toned, the only way to get reservations was to create a parallel universe where you already had reservations.",Gus,Yep. I once ate there back when I what was a senator.
Gus,Yep. I once ate there back when I what was a senator.,Bender,"Yo, Spargle. If you're such a great cook, how'd you end up in this dump?"
Bender,"Yo, Spargle. If you're such a great cook, how'd you end up in this dump?",Spargle,Ages ago I was the host of a TV show...
Spargle,Ages ago I was the host of a TV show...,Spargle,soda company that sponsored the show decided it was too old-fashioned.
Spargle,soda company that sponsored the show decided it was too old-fashioned.,Man,cooking show viewer.
Man,cooking show viewer.,Spargle,Elzar!
Spargle,Elzar!,Elzar,"Get lost, old man! Bam!"
Elzar,"Get lost, old man! Bam!",Spargle,Mein soufflé!
Spargle,Mein soufflé!,Spargle,"Elzar had been seduced by the dark side of cooking. Cilantro, mango salsa, raspberry vinaigrette!"
Spargle,"Elzar had been seduced by the dark side of cooking. Cilantro, mango salsa, raspberry vinaigrette!",Bender,That twizzler!
Bender,That twizzler!,Spargle,"As for me, I went temporarily insane and vound up here, making pies out of shoes."
Spargle,"As for me, I went temporarily insane and vound up here, making pies out of shoes.",Bender,My story's a lot like yours only more interesting 'cause it involves robots. That jerk Elzar ruined my dream of being a chef too.
Bender,My story's a lot like yours only more interesting 'cause it involves robots. That jerk Elzar ruined my dream of being a chef too.,Spargle,"Interesting. You wish to become a cook, but as a robot you have no sense of taste."
Spargle,"Interesting. You wish to become a cook, but as a robot you have no sense of taste.",Bender,"It's so unfair! I have eight other senses, but I'd trade them all, even smission, to be able to taste."
Bender,"It's so unfair! I have eight other senses, but I'd trade them all, even smission, to be able to taste.",Spargle,"You don't understand. Without the distraction of taste, your mind is free to touch the Zen of pure flavour. You could become the greatest chef ever."
Spargle,"You don't understand. Without the distraction of taste, your mind is free to touch the Zen of pure flavour. You could become the greatest chef ever.",Bender,I could?
Bender,I could?,Spargle,Yes. Just as Beethoven was a great composer because he was deaf.
Spargle,Yes. Just as Beethoven was a great composer because he was deaf.,Bender,Or like how Rembrandt was blind and had wooden hands.
Bender,Or like how Rembrandt was blind and had wooden hands.,Spargle,"Bender, hear me well. I shall train you. But first, you must forget everything you know about cooking."
Spargle,"Bender, hear me well. I shall train you. But first, you must forget everything you know about cooking.",Bender,Done.
Bender,Done.,Farnsworth,"That's right, Ricardo. A ship in a bottle! What's that? Well hang on, I'll look."
Farnsworth,"That's right, Ricardo. A ship in a bottle! What's that? Well hang on, I'll look.",Farnsworth,I've gathered you all here in the accusing parlour because one of you is a miniature ship wrecker.
Farnsworth,I've gathered you all here in the accusing parlour because one of you is a miniature ship wrecker.,Zoidberg,I'm acting astonished.
Zoidberg,I'm acting astonished.,Farnsworth,Certain clues suggest that the culprit is none other than our own ... Philip J. Fry!
Farnsworth,Certain clues suggest that the culprit is none other than our own ... Philip J. Fry!,Fry,What?
Fry,What?,Farnsworth,confession note.
Farnsworth,confession note.,Zoidberg,"Fry, you scoundrel!"
Zoidberg,"Fry, you scoundrel!",Fry,"Well, I don't remember any of that but I don't have the wherewithal to defend myself."
Fry,"Well, I don't remember any of that but I don't have the wherewithal to defend myself.",Farnsworth,Then I have no choice but to charge you the full cost of the materials: $10.
Farnsworth,Then I have no choice but to charge you the full cost of the materials: $10.,Fry,There you go.
Fry,There you go.,Spargle,of perfect flavour.
Spargle,of perfect flavour.,Gus,"Ooh, yeah!"
Gus,"Ooh, yeah!",Bender,Slop's on!
Bender,Slop's on!,Gus,Fine lookin' eats!
Gus,Fine lookin' eats!,Spargle,It is ... acceptable.
Spargle,It is ... acceptable.,Bender,"Yahoo! Another thing I'm great at! Wait. Why'd you stop eating, master?"
Bender,"Yahoo! Another thing I'm great at! Wait. Why'd you stop eating, master?",Spargle,Because ... my stomach is about to explode.
Spargle,Because ... my stomach is about to explode.,Bender,"What? My dinner killed you? Oh, man!"
Bender,"What? My dinner killed you? Oh, man!",Spargle,"And using this, you cannot fail."
Spargle,"And using this, you cannot fail.",Bender,A diamond vial of Mrs. Dash?
Bender,A diamond vial of Mrs. Dash?,Spargle,Oh! There goes my ... life.
Spargle,Oh! There goes my ... life.,Bender,"I'll avenge you, master. I swear, in the presence of these drunken bums, that I shall defeat Elzar!"
Bender,"I'll avenge you, master. I swear, in the presence of these drunken bums, that I shall defeat Elzar!",Gus,"Oh, I'm not drunk, I'm mentally ill. But I likes what what you said!"
Gus,"Oh, I'm not drunk, I'm mentally ill. But I likes what what you said!",Bender,"Elzar, I'm a walking pile of your unfinished business!"
Bender,"Elzar, I'm a walking pile of your unfinished business!",Elzar,"Why, you--"
Elzar,"Why, you--",Bender,"Ooh, I'm dead!"
Bender,"Ooh, I'm dead!",Elzar,"Spargle, huh? What he do, bland himself to death?"
Elzar,"Spargle, huh? What he do, bland himself to death?",Bender,No. He was eating some food I made and by a crazy coincidence his stomach exploded. Now I'm here to avenge him.
Bender,No. He was eating some food I made and by a crazy coincidence his stomach exploded. Now I'm here to avenge him.,Elzar,"OK, but it seems like you're the one who killed him."
Elzar,"OK, but it seems like you're the one who killed him.",Bender,are his sworn enemy. I challenge you to a battle of the chefs.
Bender,are his sworn enemy. I challenge you to a battle of the chefs.,Customer,Scandalous!
Customer,Scandalous!,Elzar,Very well. We'll meet on the ancient televised battleground of Kitchen Coliseum. Whosever meal is best will claim the title of Iron Cook.
Elzar,Very well. We'll meet on the ancient televised battleground of Kitchen Coliseum. Whosever meal is best will claim the title of Iron Cook.,Bender,"You're going down! Uh, also I had a reservation for one, under Dr. Bender."
Bender,"You're going down! Uh, also I had a reservation for one, under Dr. Bender.",Hiroki,No robot chef has ever competed here but today one has barged his way in to challenge for the title of...
Hiroki,No robot chef has ever competed here but today one has barged his way in to challenge for the title of...,Koji,Iron Cookuru!
Koji,Iron Cookuru!,Fry,Yeah! You show 'em!
Fry,Yeah! You show 'em!,Hiroki,"Let's meet today's celebrity judges: Captain of the Harlem Globetrotters, Ethan Bubblegum Tate."
Hiroki,"Let's meet today's celebrity judges: Captain of the Harlem Globetrotters, Ethan Bubblegum Tate.","Tate,",brother!
"Tate,",brother!,Hiroki,"TV anchor-monster, Morbo."
Hiroki,"TV anchor-monster, Morbo.",Morbo,"Greetings, pathetic host."
Morbo,"Greetings, pathetic host.",Hiroki,"And a woman who ended a thousand-year galactic war with her apple dandies, Martha Stewart's head."
Hiroki,"And a woman who ended a thousand-year galactic war with her apple dandies, Martha Stewart's head.",Stewart,The secret is fresh pork.
Stewart,The secret is fresh pork.,Hiroki,"And now, Chairman Koji will present the theme ingredient to be used in every dish today."
Hiroki,"And now, Chairman Koji will present the theme ingredient to be used in every dish today.",Bender,"If it's chicken, chicken c la king; if it's fish, fish à la king; if it's turkey, fish à la king."
Bender,"If it's chicken, chicken c la king; if it's fish, fish à la king; if it's turkey, fish à la king.",Koji,Soylent Greuu!
Koji,Soylent Greuu!,Hiroki,"Aki, what's Elzar making?"
Hiroki,"Aki, what's Elzar making?",Aki,"Well, Hiroki-san, when I asked him, he asked what business it was of mine and conjectured that my mother was a prostitute."
Aki,"Well, Hiroki-san, when I asked him, he asked what business it was of mine and conjectured that my mother was a prostitute.",Stewart,In the English countryside many prostitutes decorate their rooms with festive gourds.
Stewart,In the English countryside many prostitutes decorate their rooms with festive gourds.,Female,Announcer: 30 minutes to go.
Female,Announcer: 30 minutes to go.,Hiroki,Look at Bender roll that dough!
Hiroki,Look at Bender roll that dough!,Tate,"I've never seen such confident, powerful strokes of the ass!"
Tate,"I've never seen such confident, powerful strokes of the ass!",Stewart,You've never seen mine!
Stewart,You've never seen mine!,Tate,"No, I haven't!"
Tate,"No, I haven't!",Female,Announcer: Fifteen minutes remaining.
Female,Announcer: Fifteen minutes remaining.,Hiroki,"The iron cook is bringing in his signature creation, a working pastry replica of downtown Venice."
Hiroki,"The iron cook is bringing in his signature creation, a working pastry replica of downtown Venice.",Man,Commemorative turkey basters. Get your commemorative turkey basters.
Man,Commemorative turkey basters. Get your commemorative turkey basters.,Fry,"Oh, right. Never mind."
Fry,"Oh, right. Never mind.",Zoidberg,"Oh, the guilt! The unbearable guilt!"
Zoidberg,"Oh, the guilt! The unbearable guilt!",Female,Announcer: Fifteen seconds.
Female,Announcer: Fifteen seconds.,Elzar,Bam!
Elzar,Bam!,Female,Announcer: Ten seconds.
Female,Announcer: Ten seconds.,Bender,"Master Spargle, if you can hear me up there in that ditch where I left you, this is for you."
Bender,"Master Spargle, if you can hear me up there in that ditch where I left you, this is for you.",Koji,Time uperuu!
Koji,Time uperuu!,Hiroki,The iron cook Neptunian has gone all out to please the judges. He's even garnished the salad with $100 bills. Let's see what they think.
Hiroki,The iron cook Neptunian has gone all out to please the judges. He's even garnished the salad with $100 bills. Let's see what they think.,Tate,Mmm. Soylent green is my kind of people!
Tate,Mmm. Soylent green is my kind of people!,Morbo,Scrumptious. Morbo will store this in his sack for future digestion.
Morbo,Scrumptious. Morbo will store this in his sack for future digestion.,Stewart,I'm swimming in my own soylent waste. It's a good thing.
Stewart,I'm swimming in my own soylent waste. It's a good thing.,Hiroki,"Next up, challenger Bender. A student of the legendary Helmut Spargle, Bender is some sort of wonderful mechanical man."
Hiroki,"Next up, challenger Bender. A student of the legendary Helmut Spargle, Bender is some sort of wonderful mechanical man.",Stewart,"Ooh, delicious!"
Stewart,"Ooh, delicious!",Morbo,The challenger's ugly food has shown us that even hideous things can be sweet on the inside.
Morbo,The challenger's ugly food has shown us that even hideous things can be sweet on the inside.,Hiroki,Whose confection will achieve perfection? Whose foodstuff will be the good stuff?
Hiroki,Whose confection will achieve perfection? Whose foodstuff will be the good stuff?,Koji,Challengeruu Benderuu!
Koji,Challengeruu Benderuu!,Fry,Yay!
Fry,Yay!,Farnsworth,him!
Farnsworth,him!,Bender,"You honour me, Chairman Koji."
Bender,"You honour me, Chairman Koji.","Koji,",Mr. Roboto.
"Koji,",Mr. Roboto.,Bender,"Chairman-san, I came here with one goal: To humiliate Elzar in a large stadium. I believe I've done that."
Bender,"Chairman-san, I came here with one goal: To humiliate Elzar in a large stadium. I believe I've done that.",Elzar,No question.
Elzar,No question.,Bender,"But the true Zen of flavour is not found in a coliseum. It is found in a small kitchen, with friends. That is why I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept only the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Also, it comes with double prize money."
Bender,"But the true Zen of flavour is not found in a coliseum. It is found in a small kitchen, with friends. That is why I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept only the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Also, it comes with double prize money.",Zoidberg,Huh?
Zoidberg,Huh?,Koji,Oh! That sword cost 5000 dolluu!
Koji,Oh! That sword cost 5000 dolluu!,Zoidberg,Fry did it!
Zoidberg,Fry did it!,Bender,"And that's how I defeated Elzar, thanks to Spargle's magic liquid."
Bender,"And that's how I defeated Elzar, thanks to Spargle's magic liquid.",Leela,"Yes, we were there. And we just finished watching it again on TV."
Leela,"Yes, we were there. And we just finished watching it again on TV.",Farnsworth,"Good Lord! According to the spectrolizer, Spargle's magic ingredient was ... water. Ordinary water!"
Farnsworth,"Good Lord! According to the spectrolizer, Spargle's magic ingredient was ... water. Ordinary water!",Hermes,No!
Hermes,No!,Fry,"Ah, so the real gift Spargle gave you was confidence. The confidence to be your best."
Fry,"Ah, so the real gift Spargle gave you was confidence. The confidence to be your best.",Farnsworth,"Yes, ordinary water. Laced with nothing more than a few spoonfuls of LSD."
Farnsworth,"Yes, ordinary water. Laced with nothing more than a few spoonfuls of LSD.",Bender,"The important thing is, by my standards, I won fair and square. Now, who wants brunch? Cooked with plenty of ... confidence?"
Bender,"The important thing is, by my standards, I won fair and square. Now, who wants brunch? Cooked with plenty of ... confidence?",Leela,I'm in!
Leela,I'm in!,Farnsworth,I do!
Farnsworth,I do!,Farnsworth,Indeed.
Farnsworth,Indeed.,Amy,Any calls while I was out?
Amy,Any calls while I was out?,Leela,Yeah. You got a tele-sonic transmission from Kif a couple hours ago.
Leela,Yeah. You got a tele-sonic transmission from Kif a couple hours ago.,Amy,Kif?
Amy,Kif?,Kif,"Ooh, Amy, you're back. Another hour and I would have thought about hanging up."
Kif,"Ooh, Amy, you're back. Another hour and I would have thought about hanging up.",Amy,"Why didn't you just leave a message, sweetie?"
Amy,"Why didn't you just leave a message, sweetie?",Kif,"Well, um, I've left hundreds of messages with your answering machine but you never seem to get them."
Kif,"Well, um, I've left hundreds of messages with your answering machine but you never seem to get them.",Amy,Bender!
Amy,Bender!,Bender,Messages erased.
Bender,Messages erased.,Kif,"When even an inch separates us, I quiver with misery. So you can imagine how I feel when it's a billion light years."
Kif,"When even an inch separates us, I quiver with misery. So you can imagine how I feel when it's a billion light years.",Amy,"Kif, don't cry, or you'll get a tummy ache."
Amy,"Kif, don't cry, or you'll get a tummy ache.",Zapp,"Lieutenant, some things came off me and clogged the drain, so if you could-- Oh, ho! What's this?"
Zapp,"Lieutenant, some things came off me and clogged the drain, so if you could-- Oh, ho! What's this?",Zapp,"Well, well, well! Do my eyes believe me or is that my bosom-y swan, Leela?"
Zapp,"Well, well, well! Do my eyes believe me or is that my bosom-y swan, Leela?",Leela,Say again. You're breaking up!
Leela,Say again. You're breaking up!,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! You'll be delivering pain medicine to the hive mind of Nigel 7."
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! You'll be delivering pain medicine to the hive mind of Nigel 7.",Scruffy,Scruffy's rollin' out a large pill!
Scruffy,Scruffy's rollin' out a large pill!,Amy,You're going to Nigel 7? Kif's on patrol near there. You could drop me off on the way.
Amy,You're going to Nigel 7? Kif's on patrol near there. You could drop me off on the way.,Farnsworth,If anyone needs me I'll be in the Angry Dome.
Farnsworth,If anyone needs me I'll be in the Angry Dome.,Leela,This is a very long trip. So we'll all have to go into hibernative-naptosis to save oxygen.
Leela,This is a very long trip. So we'll all have to go into hibernative-naptosis to save oxygen.,Bender,I don't even breathe oxygen!
Bender,I don't even breathe oxygen!,Amy,"Here I come, Kif!"
Amy,"Here I come, Kif!",Zapp,"Kif, I'm sensing a very sensual disturbance in the force. Prepare for ship-to-ship intimacy!"
Zapp,"Kif, I'm sensing a very sensual disturbance in the force. Prepare for ship-to-ship intimacy!",Kif,"Yes, sir, captain!"
Kif,"Yes, sir, captain!",Zapp,How 'bout I help you finish that dream you were having about me?
Zapp,How 'bout I help you finish that dream you were having about me?,Leela,OK. I was just at this part: Yah!
Leela,OK. I was just at this part: Yah!,Zapp,"Uh, let's try that a little lower and a lot softer!"
Zapp,"Uh, let's try that a little lower and a lot softer!",Kif,"a licensed starship! Oh, it's so romantic it gives me the shivers!"
Kif,"a licensed starship! Oh, it's so romantic it gives me the shivers!",Amy,I don't care how much trouble I get in. I needed to feel my lips pressed against your lipless beak.
Amy,I don't care how much trouble I get in. I needed to feel my lips pressed against your lipless beak.,Kif,"Oh, Amy, I can't stand having a whole universe between us. I've been thinking a lot about this and, well, would you move in with me?"
Kif,"Oh, Amy, I can't stand having a whole universe between us. I've been thinking a lot about this and, well, would you move in with me?",Amy,"Here? But, uh, wouldn't it be crowded?"
Amy,"Here? But, uh, wouldn't it be crowded?",Kif,"No, no! It's really twice the size. You can use the floor and I'll have the ceiling. See?"
Kif,"No, no! It's really twice the size. You can use the floor and I'll have the ceiling. See?",Amy,... sure if I--
Amy,... sure if I--,Kif,"Hush! Before you answer, come thither."
Kif,"Hush! Before you answer, come thither.",Kif,"This is the Holo-Shed. It can simulate anything you desire, and nothing can hurt you. Except when it malfunctions and the holograms become real."
Kif,"This is the Holo-Shed. It can simulate anything you desire, and nothing can hurt you. Except when it malfunctions and the holograms become real.",Amy,"Well, that probably won't happen this time."
Amy,"Well, that probably won't happen this time.",Kif,I wanted to show you what life would be like if we were together. Computer: Run program Kif 1.
Kif,I wanted to show you what life would be like if we were together. Computer: Run program Kif 1.,Amy,"Spirit! Kif, that's the pony I always wanted but my parents said I had too many ponies already."
Amy,"Spirit! Kif, that's the pony I always wanted but my parents said I had too many ponies already.",Kif,"Yes, I programmed it in for you. 4 million lines of BASIC! And if this isn't the life you want, how 'bout this? Run program Kif 2."
Kif,"Yes, I programmed it in for you. 4 million lines of BASIC! And if this isn't the life you want, how 'bout this? Run program Kif 2.",Amy,"Oh, Kif!"
Amy,"Oh, Kif!",Kif,Run program Kif://3.
Kif,Run program Kif://3.,Amy,This isn't bad. My aunt had a place like this.
Amy,This isn't bad. My aunt had a place like this.,Kif,"Amy, we could live in a bus station bathroom for all I care. As long as we're together, it'll feel like a castle to me."
Kif,"Amy, we could live in a bus station bathroom for all I care. As long as we're together, it'll feel like a castle to me.",Amy,What was that?
Amy,What was that?,Kif,"Oh, dear. I fear the Holo-Shed might be broken again. Well, as long as we don't cross paths with Attila the--"
Kif,"Oh, dear. I fear the Holo-Shed might be broken again. Well, as long as we don't cross paths with Attila the--",Amy,Look! Spirit!
Amy,Look! Spirit!,Kif,Lincoln!
Kif,Lincoln!,Moriarty,"Right-oh, gents, it's another simulation gone mad, so murder and mayhem, standard procedure!"
Moriarty,"Right-oh, gents, it's another simulation gone mad, so murder and mayhem, standard procedure!",Jack,the Ripper: Rampage!
Jack,the Ripper: Rampage!,Evil,Lincoln: Real holographic-simulated Evil Lincoln is back!
Evil,Lincoln: Real holographic-simulated Evil Lincoln is back!,Kif,The Holo-Shed's on the fritz again! The characters turned real!
Kif,The Holo-Shed's on the fritz again! The characters turned real!,Zapp,Get back into the Holo-Shed before I start blasting!
Zapp,Get back into the Holo-Shed before I start blasting!,Attila,the Hun: Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!
Attila,the Hun: Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!,Zapp,"Spare me your space-age techno-babble, Attila the Hun!"
Zapp,"Spare me your space-age techno-babble, Attila the Hun!",Bender,Hey!
Bender,Hey!,Amy,Kif! Hold on!
Amy,Kif! Hold on!,Kif,I totally want to!
Kif,I totally want to!,Leela,Grab on!
Leela,Grab on!,Fry,Over here!
Fry,Over here!,Kif,Please hold me!
Kif,Please hold me!,Bender,"Oh, man!"
Bender,"Oh, man!",Zapp,After all that I could use some relaxation. I'll be in the Holo-Shed.
Zapp,After all that I could use some relaxation. I'll be in the Holo-Shed.,McGee,"Oh, and Kif is pregnant."
McGee,"Oh, and Kif is pregnant.",Kif,"Oh, joy!"
Kif,"Oh, joy!",Kif,"Amy, isn't it wonderful? I'm pregnant!"
Kif,"Amy, isn't it wonderful? I'm pregnant!",Amy,Yes it's ... great. A great miracle.
Amy,Yes it's ... great. A great miracle.,Leela,And not one of those bogus everyday miracles like a sunrise. Aren't you a male?
Leela,And not one of those bogus everyday miracles like a sunrise. Aren't you a male?,Bender,"Come over here, Kif! You--"
Bender,"Come over here, Kif! You--",Zapp,"Look, I'm sure we're all a little unclear on how anyone gets pregnant. So, Kif, pray explain. And don't spare the dirty words where appropriate."
Zapp,"Look, I'm sure we're all a little unclear on how anyone gets pregnant. So, Kif, pray explain. And don't spare the dirty words where appropriate.",Kif,"Well, it's quite simple really. When one of my species experiences deep feelings of love we enter a so-called receptive state."
Kif,"Well, it's quite simple really. When one of my species experiences deep feelings of love we enter a so-called receptive state.",Zapp,You disgust me! Go on.
Zapp,You disgust me! Go on.,Bender,"Well, OK. But that better be all there is!"
Bender,"Well, OK. But that better be all there is!",Kif,"Oh, Amy! You'll be a mother!"
Kif,"Oh, Amy! You'll be a mother!",Kif,What a wondrous affirmation of our love. And all from the touch of your hand.
Kif,What a wondrous affirmation of our love. And all from the touch of your hand.,Fry,"Dude, hold up. Remember when Zapp blew a hole in the ship?"
Fry,"Dude, hold up. Remember when Zapp blew a hole in the ship?",Evil,Lincoln: Indeed.
Evil,Lincoln: Indeed.,Fry,Kif touched everybody there. Couldn't any one of us be the mother?
Fry,Kif touched everybody there. Couldn't any one of us be the mother?,Amy,"Hey, yeah! I mean ... what about that, Kif?"
Amy,"Hey, yeah! I mean ... what about that, Kif?",Kif,"Well, I suppose I might have gotten pregnant that way. Or even from a toilet seat. Though that's impossible since I have a private washroom."
Kif,"Well, I suppose I might have gotten pregnant that way. Or even from a toilet seat. Though that's impossible since I have a private washroom.",Amy,"Look, Kif, I probably am the mother. Although maybe I'm not. Of course, I hope I am. But just in case I'm not, maybe we should have a test."
Amy,"Look, Kif, I probably am the mother. Although maybe I'm not. Of course, I hope I am. But just in case I'm not, maybe we should have a test.",Bender,A test! I demand a test!
Bender,A test! I demand a test!,Farnsworth,"When I pull this switch, the maternifuge will spin at 10,000 RPM, separating out everyone who isn't the mother-- Father-- Whatever!"
Farnsworth,"When I pull this switch, the maternifuge will spin at 10,000 RPM, separating out everyone who isn't the mother-- Father-- Whatever!",Bender,Faster! Faster!
Bender,Faster! Faster!,Farnsworth,Nor is Captain Brannigan.
Farnsworth,Nor is Captain Brannigan.,Kif,"Oh, thank you, merciful God!"
Kif,"Oh, thank you, merciful God!",Farnsworth,doing in there?
Farnsworth,doing in there?,Zoidberg,That's where I live. I have no home.
Zoidberg,That's where I live. I have no home.,Kif,Amy? But that means--
Kif,Amy? But that means--,Kif,"Leela must have impregnated me when she grabbed my ungloved hand. That explains the poster in hygiene class: No Glove, No Love."
Kif,"Leela must have impregnated me when she grabbed my ungloved hand. That explains the poster in hygiene class: No Glove, No Love.",Leela,"Wow, this is all so confusing."
Leela,"Wow, this is all so confusing.",Zapp,Stop testing our love!
Zapp,Stop testing our love!,Kif,"Please, Captain. I thank Leela for the DNA she gave me but, in my species, the true parent is the one who inspired the initial feeling of love. We call that person the smizmar. And my smizmar is Amy."
Kif,"Please, Captain. I thank Leela for the DNA she gave me but, in my species, the true parent is the one who inspired the initial feeling of love. We call that person the smizmar. And my smizmar is Amy.",Zapp,So the toilet seat is like the uncle or something?
Zapp,So the toilet seat is like the uncle or something?,Leela,Sorry I got your boyfriend pregnant.
Leela,Sorry I got your boyfriend pregnant.,Amy,Might as well plan for my new life while I'm at it. Set Motherhood Mode.
Amy,Might as well plan for my new life while I'm at it. Set Motherhood Mode.,Leela,To motherhood.
Leela,To motherhood.,Bender,Zoidberg?
Bender,Zoidberg?,Fry,"You know, my face was stuck in a pizza."
Fry,"You know, my face was stuck in a pizza.",Amy,"Mom, Dad, I know this is weird but--"
Amy,"Mom, Dad, I know this is weird but--",Mrs.,"Wong: Yeah, yeah. We don't care how squishy alien get pregnant. All we care is that we have grandchild now."
Mrs.,"Wong: Yeah, yeah. We don't care how squishy alien get pregnant. All we care is that we have grandchild now.",Kif,"You're very open-minded, Mrs. Wong."
Kif,"You're very open-minded, Mrs. Wong.",Mr.,Wong: Hey! You call her Grandma now!
Mr.,Wong: Hey! You call her Grandma now!,Mrs.,Wong: Call me Grandma like crazy! All the time!
Mrs.,Wong: Call me Grandma like crazy! All the time!,Fry,"Check it out, y'all. Everyone we invited is here."
Fry,"Check it out, y'all. Everyone we invited is here.",Zoidberg,Also Zoidberg!
Zoidberg,Also Zoidberg!,Fry,So let's open the gifts.
Fry,So let's open the gifts.,Bender,Alright!
Bender,Alright!,Kif,"I can't wait! Let's start with this one, from Bender."
Kif,"I can't wait! Let's start with this one, from Bender.",Bender,It's my booties from when I was a kid.
Bender,It's my booties from when I was a kid.,Amy,"Uh, they're already bronzed."
Amy,"Uh, they're already bronzed.",Bender,bronze.
Bender,bronze.,Kif,"And this one's from Leela. Oh, I just love the bow! I wonder what it is!"
Kif,"And this one's from Leela. Oh, I just love the bow! I wonder what it is!",Zapp,got you.
Zapp,got you.,Kif,It's a basket! F-For picnics?
Kif,It's a basket! F-For picnics?,Leela,It means a lot to me. It's the basket my parents left me in at the orphanarium.
Leela,It means a lot to me. It's the basket my parents left me in at the orphanarium.,Hermes,You could use it for picnics.
Hermes,You could use it for picnics.,Mrs.,"Wong: Here, Amy. We get this one for you."
Mrs.,"Wong: Here, Amy. We get this one for you.",Amy,Is it a new party board?
Amy,Is it a new party board?,Mrs.,Wong: It's a board alright! An ironing board.
Mrs.,Wong: It's a board alright! An ironing board.,Mr.,Wong: We had your old party board converted now that you not be partying anymore.
Mr.,Wong: We had your old party board converted now that you not be partying anymore.,Amy,You-You trashed my party board?
Amy,You-You trashed my party board?,Mrs.,"Wong: Damn right! Now you're a mom, the only surfing you do is under a big wave of responsibility."
Mrs.,"Wong: Damn right! Now you're a mom, the only surfing you do is under a big wave of responsibility.",Kif,"Oh, this is the happiest moment of my life! You all brought such wonderful gifts. But the greatest gift--"
Kif,"Oh, this is the happiest moment of my life! You all brought such wonderful gifts. But the greatest gift--",Bender,Mine!
Bender,Mine!,Kif,"Even now, I can sense it feeding, squirming, searching, questing. And shortly, it will rend my loins in twain, burst forth and pull us down, down, down into the deep, dark waters of commitment."
Kif,"Even now, I can sense it feeding, squirming, searching, questing. And shortly, it will rend my loins in twain, burst forth and pull us down, down, down into the deep, dark waters of commitment.",Zoidberg,That's so beautiful!
Zoidberg,That's so beautiful!,Amy,No! I can't do this!
Amy,No! I can't do this!,Bender,"Oh, my God!"
Bender,"Oh, my God!",Kif,The quickening! My time is near. I must return to my homeworld to perform the ancient birthing rites.
Kif,The quickening! My time is near. I must return to my homeworld to perform the ancient birthing rites.,Scruffy,Lemme know how that turns out.
Scruffy,Lemme know how that turns out.,Kif,I must now embark on a perilous journey to give birth in precisely the same swamp in which I was born.
Kif,I must now embark on a perilous journey to give birth in precisely the same swamp in which I was born.,Leela,"If it's so dangerous, I'd better go with you. A gal has to protect her DNA."
Leela,"If it's so dangerous, I'd better go with you. A gal has to protect her DNA.",Kif,"No, Leela. Tradition demands that I make this journey with my smizmar. And since Amy isn't, here I must go it alone. Farewell, for we may never meet again."
Kif,"No, Leela. Tradition demands that I make this journey with my smizmar. And since Amy isn't, here I must go it alone. Farewell, for we may never meet again.",Kif,My scrapes feel a little better now.
Kif,My scrapes feel a little better now.,Bender,"Hey, what's this fat ugly thing? A frog? A toad? Or your momma!"
Bender,"Hey, what's this fat ugly thing? A frog? A toad? Or your momma!",Kif,It's a poisonous froad! No one move.
Kif,It's a poisonous froad! No one move.,Bender,"I'm back, baby!"
Bender,"I'm back, baby!",Kif,Behold! The sacred ancestral birthing grounds of my family.
Kif,Behold! The sacred ancestral birthing grounds of my family.,Zapp,Smells like a jockstrap!
Zapp,Smells like a jockstrap!,Grand,Midwife: I am the Grand Midwife.
Grand,Midwife: I am the Grand Midwife.,Fry,Hi!
Fry,Hi!,Kif,"I am Kif, of the clan Kroker, come to bear my young."
Kif,"I am Kif, of the clan Kroker, come to bear my young.",Grand,"Midwife As it is writ, and both shall lift the jug together. Where is your smizmar?"
Grand,"Midwife As it is writ, and both shall lift the jug together. Where is your smizmar?",Kif,She's not with me.
Kif,She's not with me.,Grand,"Midwife: Oh, the sorrow. Oh, the shame. I'm sorry, I'm probably just making you feel worse."
Grand,"Midwife: Oh, the sorrow. Oh, the shame. I'm sorry, I'm probably just making you feel worse.",Kif,Apparently Amy hasn't been working out much lately.
Kif,Apparently Amy hasn't been working out much lately.,Grand,"Midwife Oh, right, sorry. But I memorised the ceremony by rote and it mentions her a lot."
Grand,"Midwife Oh, right, sorry. But I memorised the ceremony by rote and it mentions her a lot.",Kif,I'll try to endure.
Kif,I'll try to endure.,Grand,"Midwife: Good, 'cause I'm not changing it. Now turn ye to and gaze deeply into each other's eyes."
Grand,"Midwife: Good, 'cause I'm not changing it. Now turn ye to and gaze deeply into each other's eyes.",Bender,What are you looking at?
Bender,What are you looking at?,Grand,"Midwife The Tea of New Life is ready. Let those whose love created this life speak each other's names, then drink."
Grand,"Midwife The Tea of New Life is ready. Let those whose love created this life speak each other's names, then drink.",Kif,Amy.
Kif,Amy.,Amy,Kif!
Amy,Kif!,Kif,Amy! Is it you or have I gone crazy with loneliness?
Kif,Amy! Is it you or have I gone crazy with loneliness?,Bender,Both.
Bender,Both.,Amy,I still don't know if I'm ready for this but I do know I love you. And I wanna be here beside you.
Amy,I still don't know if I'm ready for this but I do know I love you. And I wanna be here beside you.,Grand,Midwife: Great! Now I lost my place! I'm starting over!
Grand,Midwife: Great! Now I lost my place! I'm starting over!,Kif,"Oh, my!"
Kif,"Oh, my!",Bender,Neat!
Bender,Neat!,Amy,"You can do it, Kif!"
Amy,"You can do it, Kif!",Kif,"Whoa, Nellie!"
Kif,"Whoa, Nellie!",Bender,"Oh, man!"
Bender,"Oh, man!",Kif,"Amy, my love, tell me: Are they making it to the water?"
Kif,"Amy, my love, tell me: Are they making it to the water?",Leela,Amy!
Leela,Amy!,Amy,Shoo! Stay away from my babies!
Amy,Shoo! Stay away from my babies!,Grand,Midwife: The birthing is complete!
Grand,Midwife: The birthing is complete!,Bender,Alright!
Bender,Alright!,Kif,"Oh, thank goodness!"
Kif,"Oh, thank goodness!",Grand,"Midwife: I will now take my leave. I live here so I won't actually be going anywhere, but you don't have to talk to me anymore."
Grand,"Midwife: I will now take my leave. I live here so I won't actually be going anywhere, but you don't have to talk to me anymore.",Fry,Congratulations!
Fry,Congratulations!,Zapp,Nice work!
Zapp,Nice work!,Bender,"Way to go, squishy!"
Bender,"Way to go, squishy!",Leela,There goes my DNA. What a disgusting and beautiful process.
Leela,There goes my DNA. What a disgusting and beautiful process.,Fry,That's birth for you.
Fry,That's birth for you.,Kif,"Well, we've given them a great start, Amy. And in 20 years they'll sprout legs and crawl back onto land as children."
Kif,"Well, we've given them a great start, Amy. And in 20 years they'll sprout legs and crawl back onto land as children.",Amy,I'll be ready then.
Amy,I'll be ready then.,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! You all know the orphanarium where Leela grew up?"
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! You all know the orphanarium where Leela grew up?",Fry,Sure. We talk about it all the time.
Fry,Sure. We talk about it all the time.,Leela,Really?
Leela,Really?,Farnsworth,"Well done, fellows! Anyway, said orphanarium has named Leela Orphan of the Year."
Farnsworth,"Well done, fellows! Anyway, said orphanarium has named Leela Orphan of the Year.",Amy,Yee-ha!
Amy,Yee-ha!,Bender,Alright!
Bender,Alright!,Amy,Your parents must be so proud. Oops! Sorry.
Amy,Your parents must be so proud. Oops! Sorry.,Farnsworth,And the good news keeps on coming. Behold my latest invention.
Farnsworth,And the good news keeps on coming. Behold my latest invention.,Bender,Neat!
Bender,Neat!,Farnsworth,Ta-da! It's a glow-in-the-dark nose you can wear over your regular non-glowing nose. Observe.
Farnsworth,Ta-da! It's a glow-in-the-dark nose you can wear over your regular non-glowing nose. Observe.,Amy,"Whoa, clool!"
Amy,"Whoa, clool!",Bender,Now I can punch you in the nose in the dark.
Bender,Now I can punch you in the nose in the dark.,Bender,Where'd it go?
Bender,Where'd it go?,Amy,"Hey, Professor, what's all this scloop, glorking out of the machine?"
Amy,"Hey, Professor, what's all this scloop, glorking out of the machine?",Farnsworth,"That? It's, uh ... nothing. Yes, nothing. If you think it's anything, you're a suspicious moron."
Farnsworth,"That? It's, uh ... nothing. Yes, nothing. If you think it's anything, you're a suspicious moron.",Hermes,And it smells like toxic waste.
Hermes,And it smells like toxic waste.,Fry,What does it taste like?
Fry,What does it taste like?,Hermes,"Delicious fig pudding! Ooh, that's good! But a distinct aftertaste of toxic waste."
Hermes,"Delicious fig pudding! Ooh, that's good! But a distinct aftertaste of toxic waste.",Farnsworth,"Alright, alright, so the machine produces a few toxic by-products! You don't have to make a federal case out of it."
Farnsworth,"Alright, alright, so the machine produces a few toxic by-products! You don't have to make a federal case out of it.",Hermes,I order you dispose of that toxic waste properly or bribe me. Either way it'll cost $500.
Hermes,I order you dispose of that toxic waste properly or bribe me. Either way it'll cost $500.,Bender,"500 real dollars? That's an outrage! Professor, I'll take care of that waste for $499 and 100 cents."
Bender,"500 real dollars? That's an outrage! Professor, I'll take care of that waste for $499 and 100 cents.",Farnsworth,"Hmm, I know that's a rip but I'll pay for the convenience. Do you take credit cards?"
Farnsworth,"Hmm, I know that's a rip but I'll pay for the convenience. Do you take credit cards?",Bender,Let's find out.
Bender,Let's find out.,Bender,"Alright, environment, you've met your match!"
Bender,"Alright, environment, you've met your match!",Smitty,"Hey, get back in the sewer, weird-y. No mutants on the surface."
Smitty,"Hey, get back in the sewer, weird-y. No mutants on the surface.",Vyolet,But he ruined my wedding dress.
Vyolet,But he ruined my wedding dress.,Bender,"Honey, that thing was ruined the minute it went on you. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout."
Bender,"Honey, that thing was ruined the minute it went on you. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.",Vogel,I'll never forget the night that cute little alien baby was abandoned on our doorstep. Because I have a photographic memory and I remember every night!
Vogel,I'll never forget the night that cute little alien baby was abandoned on our doorstep. Because I have a photographic memory and I remember every night!,Vogel,"Well, come on in."
Vogel,"Well, come on in.",Vogel,"From those humble beginnings, Leela went on to become a county-certified starship captain. And so it is my pleasure today to nail her picture alongside those of our most distinguished alumni."
Vogel,"From those humble beginnings, Leela went on to become a county-certified starship captain. And so it is my pleasure today to nail her picture alongside those of our most distinguished alumni.",Leela,"Thank you very much. Like many of you, I never knew my parents..."
Leela,"Thank you very much. Like many of you, I never knew my parents...",Vogel,Give me a--
Vogel,Give me a--,Leela,I don't know if they were mighty alien overlords or simply underpaid alien janitors who fought crime on the side--
Leela,I don't know if they were mighty alien overlords or simply underpaid alien janitors who fought crime on the side--,Vogel,There we are. Picture's up.
Vogel,There we are. Picture's up.,Bender,It's crooked!
Bender,It's crooked!,Leela,"In the end though, it doesn't matter who my parents were. All that matters is what I learned here, within these unscalable walls, that I have strength to make it on my own, just like all of you kids here today."
Leela,"In the end though, it doesn't matter who my parents were. All that matters is what I learned here, within these unscalable walls, that I have strength to make it on my own, just like all of you kids here today.",Kids,Leela! Leela! Leela!
Kids,Leela! Leela! Leela!,Nina,Look at me! I'm Leela!
Nina,Look at me! I'm Leela!,Albert,Leela!
Albert,Leela!,Vogel,"That's it, Albert, no more espresso for you."
Vogel,"That's it, Albert, no more espresso for you.",Photographer,"Mind if I get a picture of you with your picture for the news, ma'am?"
Photographer,"Mind if I get a picture of you with your picture for the news, ma'am?",Leela,Yes! I mean no! Just make sure you get my nonchalant side!
Leela,Yes! I mean no! Just make sure you get my nonchalant side!,Fry,"If those aren't tears of happiness, please stop crying."
Fry,"If those aren't tears of happiness, please stop crying.",Leela,"It's OK, Fry. I'm fine. I won an award today."
Leela,"It's OK, Fry. I'm fine. I won an award today.",Fry,"Is it this room that's making you sad? It's probably the room. Come on, let's go for a walk."
Fry,"Is it this room that's making you sad? It's probably the room. Come on, let's go for a walk.",Leela,"I'm sorry you saw that, Fry. I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness."
Leela,"I'm sorry you saw that, Fry. I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.",Fry,"Yeah, I do that with my stupidness."
Fry,"Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.",Leela,"I told a whole crowd today that being an orphan made me strong. But all I really wanted was a mom and dad, to hold me and stroke my hair and tell me they loved me."
Leela,"I told a whole crowd today that being an orphan made me strong. But all I really wanted was a mom and dad, to hold me and stroke my hair and tell me they loved me.",Fry,"Then today's your lucky day, because I happen to be a holding, stroking, lovin' machine! Also spankin'."
Fry,"Then today's your lucky day, because I happen to be a holding, stroking, lovin' machine! Also spankin'.",Leela,That's not even close to what I had in mind.
Leela,That's not even close to what I had in mind.,Fry,"Well, anyway, just remember that people care about you."
Fry,"Well, anyway, just remember that people care about you.",Leela,"Sometimes, when I'm lonely, I look up at the sky and I get this feeling that somewhere, on some unknown planet, circling a distant star, my parents are up there, looking down on me."
Leela,"Sometimes, when I'm lonely, I look up at the sky and I get this feeling that somewhere, on some unknown planet, circling a distant star, my parents are up there, looking down on me.",Fry!,What up?
Fry!,What up?,Leela,"Bender! Cut it out! First of all, the sewer mutants will be mad. Second, everything else that's horribly wrong with what you're doing!"
Leela,"Bender! Cut it out! First of all, the sewer mutants will be mad. Second, everything else that's horribly wrong with what you're doing!",Bender,"Ah, those stupid mutants can't do anything. You seem to be forgetting one simple fact. Namely, I'm up here and they are safely down--"
Bender,"Ah, those stupid mutants can't do anything. You seem to be forgetting one simple fact. Namely, I'm up here and they are safely down--",Bender,What did I do to deserve this?
Bender,What did I do to deserve this?,Dwayne,"Behold, our once beautiful mutagenic sewage lake."
Dwayne,"Behold, our once beautiful mutagenic sewage lake.",Vyolet,The radioactive waste you dumped in it has made it bright enough to see how ugly we really are.
Vyolet,The radioactive waste you dumped in it has made it bright enough to see how ugly we really are.,Dwayne,"Oh, man!"
Dwayne,"Oh, man!",Raoul,As if our lives weren't miserable enough already!
Raoul,As if our lives weren't miserable enough already!,Leg,Mutant: Tell me about it!
Leg,Mutant: Tell me about it!,Raoul,Let the punishment commence!
Raoul,Let the punishment commence!,Leela,Punishment?
Leela,Punishment?,Fry,No fair!
Fry,No fair!,Bender,Bender's innocent!
Bender,Bender's innocent!,Raoul,Allow me to demonstrate!
Raoul,Allow me to demonstrate!,Fry,It's like that time I peeked in the kitchen at Imperial Hunan.
Fry,It's like that time I peeked in the kitchen at Imperial Hunan.,Raoul,Submerge the prisoners.
Raoul,Submerge the prisoners.,Bender,Wait. I don't even have DNA. Why am I screaming?
Bender,Wait. I don't even have DNA. Why am I screaming?,Dwayne,We're gonna beat you afterwards.
Dwayne,We're gonna beat you afterwards.,Mutants,Mutate! Mutate! Mutate! ...
Mutants,Mutate! Mutate! Mutate! ...,Hooded,Figure #1: Turanga Leela!
Hooded,Figure #1: Turanga Leela!,Leela,Who said that? How do you know my real name?
Leela,Who said that? How do you know my real name?,Bender,Whee!
Bender,Whee!,Raoul,What are you doing? Stop it!
Raoul,What are you doing? Stop it!,Fry,What happened?
Fry,What happened?,Leela,I don't know. I think I saved us somehow.
Leela,I don't know. I think I saved us somehow.,Raoul,Go after them! The waters can't mutate us mutants!
Raoul,Go after them! The waters can't mutate us mutants!,Raoul,They went this way!
Raoul,They went this way!,Bender,Quick! In there!
Bender,Quick! In there!,Dwayne,Kill! Kill! Kill!
Dwayne,Kill! Kill! Kill!,Leela,Great Cheech's ghost!
Leela,Great Cheech's ghost!,Bender,What's this junk?
Bender,What's this junk?,Leela,It looks like ... a timeline of my whole life.
Leela,It looks like ... a timeline of my whole life.,Fry,That's when we saved Earth from a giant asteroid of garbage.
Fry,That's when we saved Earth from a giant asteroid of garbage.,Leela,And here's when I dropped out and bummed around India for a while.
Leela,And here's when I dropped out and bummed around India for a while.,Bender,And this is just last year at Space Mardi Gras.
Bender,And this is just last year at Space Mardi Gras.,Leela,It's like some kind of weird Leela museum ... and I'm the Leela!
Leela,It's like some kind of weird Leela museum ... and I'm the Leela!,Fry,Dude! Over here!
Fry,Dude! Over here!,Leela,It's all the best stuff I ever flushed down the toilet! Those are some of my diary pages. And my screenplay!
Leela,It's all the best stuff I ever flushed down the toilet! Those are some of my diary pages. And my screenplay!,Fry,"And also, for some reason, the letter I wrote you full of my personal feelings."
Fry,"And also, for some reason, the letter I wrote you full of my personal feelings.",Leela,My whole life has just been a show for some perverted mutant!
Leela,My whole life has just been a show for some perverted mutant!,Vyolet,They must be in here.
Vyolet,They must be in here.,Raoul,"Yeah, after them."
Raoul,"Yeah, after them.",Bender,And then Bender ran!
Bender,And then Bender ran!,Fry,"Leela, freak out later. We're not done escaping yet!"
Fry,"Leela, freak out later. We're not done escaping yet!",Dwayne,Got you!
Dwayne,Got you!,Leg,Mutant: Take this!
Leg,Mutant: Take this!,Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Raoul,This time I'm calling for the death penalty. And not just because I'm running for re-election as Supreme Mutant.
Raoul,This time I'm calling for the death penalty. And not just because I'm running for re-election as Supreme Mutant.,Mutants,Four more years! Four more years!
Mutants,Four more years! Four more years!,Raoul,"Your attention. Instead of being tortured to death, the prisoners shall hereby be expelled from the sewers and never allowed to return."
Raoul,"Your attention. Instead of being tortured to death, the prisoners shall hereby be expelled from the sewers and never allowed to return.",Bender,"Oh, cruel fate! Can we really never return to this dank pit of sewage?"
Bender,"Oh, cruel fate! Can we really never return to this dank pit of sewage?",Leela,Wait a minute. Why aren't you gonna kill us anymore?
Leela,Wait a minute. Why aren't you gonna kill us anymore?,Bender,Yeah! What are you chicken?
Bender,Yeah! What are you chicken?,Fry,"Shut up, you two! We can kill ourselves when we get home!"
Fry,"Shut up, you two! We can kill ourselves when we get home!",Raoul,They'll need transportation to the surface. Bring in the airship.
Raoul,They'll need transportation to the surface. Bring in the airship.,Bender,Ew!
Bender,Ew!,Raoul,"We constructed it from the remnants of old discarded Macy's parade balloons. Underdog's groin, Bart Simpson's left ear and right shin, Garfield's owner Jon's forehead."
Raoul,"We constructed it from the remnants of old discarded Macy's parade balloons. Underdog's groin, Bart Simpson's left ear and right shin, Garfield's owner Jon's forehead.",Mutant,#1: Fire up the sewer gas!
Mutant,#1: Fire up the sewer gas!,Mutant,"#2: Move it, you ugly normals!"
Mutant,"#2: Move it, you ugly normals!",Bender,"Uh, I'm gettin' dizzy! I can't walk straight!"
Bender,"Uh, I'm gettin' dizzy! I can't walk straight!",Fry,"Come on, Leela. You can do it!"
Fry,"Come on, Leela. You can do it!",Bender,Hurry! We're missing our bus!
Bender,Hurry! We're missing our bus!,Fry,Whoa! What are you doing?
Fry,Whoa! What are you doing?,Bender,I'm gettin' on the bus!
Bender,I'm gettin' on the bus!,Leela,The lake didn't mutate me. What is going on here?
Leela,The lake didn't mutate me. What is going on here?,Octopus,It worked for me. I used to be a little blonde girl named Virginia.
Octopus,It worked for me. I used to be a little blonde girl named Virginia.,Leela,Who the hell are you?
Leela,Who the hell are you?,Hooded,"Figure #1: No one. And watch your language, young lady!"
Hooded,"Figure #1: No one. And watch your language, young lady!",Mutant,#2 I didn't want you to hurt me either!
Mutant,#2 I didn't want you to hurt me either!,Fry,Leela's going nuts and I can't save her unless I learn more about her mysterious past. Isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Fry,Leela's going nuts and I can't save her unless I learn more about her mysterious past. Isn't there anything else you can tell me?,Vogel,Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Vogel,Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.,Fry,That's impossible because my time is worthless!
Fry,That's impossible because my time is worthless!,Vogel,"It's the note I found with Leela the day she was abandoned. But it's written in Alienese, so no one on Earth can translate it. Not even Brainzilla."
Vogel,"It's the note I found with Leela the day she was abandoned. But it's written in Alienese, so no one on Earth can translate it. Not even Brainzilla.",Fry,Hand it over.
Fry,Hand it over.,Vogel,I just wish I could be more helpful. Would you like some dirt on any other orphans?
Vogel,I just wish I could be more helpful. Would you like some dirt on any other orphans?,Fry,"Look, I'm trying to save someone here. I'll have to come back for those later."
Fry,"Look, I'm trying to save someone here. I'll have to come back for those later.",Fry,Can you translate it?
Fry,Can you translate it?,Farnsworth,"Of course. But only into Beta Crypt 3, a language so complex there's even less chance of understanding it."
Farnsworth,"Of course. But only into Beta Crypt 3, a language so complex there's even less chance of understanding it.",Fry,I didn't ask for a completely reasonable excuse. I asked you to get busy.
Fry,I didn't ask for a completely reasonable excuse. I asked you to get busy.,Farnsworth,Very well.
Farnsworth,Very well.,Fry,Isn't that the same machine that makes noses?
Fry,Isn't that the same machine that makes noses?,Farnsworth,"Of course, even if it is possible to analyse the message, there's no way of knowing how long it would take. It could take an hour or it could take a hundred million years."
Farnsworth,"Of course, even if it is possible to analyse the message, there's no way of knowing how long it would take. It could take an hour or it could take a hundred million years.",Fry,Is it done?
Fry,Is it done?,Farnsworth,But not like that. Slightly more rapid.
Farnsworth,But not like that. Slightly more rapid.,Leela,Where did they go?
Leela,Where did they go?,Bender,"Good news, Leela. I landed the contract to empty all the spittoons in Little Italy."
Bender,"Good news, Leela. I landed the contract to empty all the spittoons in Little Italy.",Leela,Ew!
Leela,Ew!,Farnsworth,I can't believe it! My mind is boggling. The analysis of the note is printing out now.
Farnsworth,I can't believe it! My mind is boggling. The analysis of the note is printing out now.,Doctor,It's a girl.
Doctor,It's a girl.,Mother,My God! She's beautiful. No extra anythings.
Mother,My God! She's beautiful. No extra anythings.,Father,Good people skills!
Father,Good people skills!,Mother,She's completely perfect!
Mother,She's completely perfect!,Doctor,"In my professional opinion as an ear, ear, ear, nose and throat doctor, she is the least-mutated mutant ever born."
Doctor,"In my professional opinion as an ear, ear, ear, nose and throat doctor, she is the least-mutated mutant ever born.",Father,And yet she's cursed to live the horrible degrading life of a mutant. Like all of us. Especially him!
Father,And yet she's cursed to live the horrible degrading life of a mutant. Like all of us. Especially him!,Leg,Mutant: It's true!
Leg,Mutant: It's true!,Mother,Maybe we can do better for her.
Mother,Maybe we can do better for her.,Father,"I made this bracelet so that in some small way we'll always be with you, even when it doesn't seem like it. During your entire life, for example."
Father,"I made this bracelet so that in some small way we'll always be with you, even when it doesn't seem like it. During your entire life, for example.",Mother,And that'll be enough to give you a real life.
Mother,And that'll be enough to give you a real life.,Father,She'll never know we're her parents.
Father,She'll never know we're her parents.,Mother,That's our gift to her. Better we should die than have her learn the shameful truth of her origin.
Mother,That's our gift to her. Better we should die than have her learn the shameful truth of her origin.,Father,I'm with you.
Father,I'm with you.,Vogel,"Well, come on in."
Vogel,"Well, come on in.",Hooded,Figure #1: Keep quiet so she doesn't hear us.
Hooded,Figure #1: Keep quiet so she doesn't hear us.,Hooded,Figure #2: What's there to talk about?
Hooded,Figure #2: What's there to talk about?,Hooded,Figure #1: Sh!
Hooded,Figure #1: Sh!,Leela,Tentacles too!
Leela,Tentacles too!,Hooded,"Figure #1: Don't say anything stupid, Morris."
Hooded,"Figure #1: Don't say anything stupid, Morris.",Leela?,Do you believe I'm you Messiah? Your Mutant Dalai Lama? Stop me if I guess it!
Leela?,Do you believe I'm you Messiah? Your Mutant Dalai Lama? Stop me if I guess it!,Hooded,"Figure #2: Well, actually, there--"
Hooded,"Figure #2: Well, actually, there--",Hooded,Figure #1: Morris! Sh!
Hooded,Figure #1: Morris! Sh!,Leela,"How did you get this bracelet? Did you steal it from me when I was a baby? Or from my parents? You robbed my parents, didn't you? I bet you sick mutants killed them. My parents were confused aliens lost on Earth and you killed them! Is that it? Admit it!"
Leela,"How did you get this bracelet? Did you steal it from me when I was a baby? Or from my parents? You robbed my parents, didn't you? I bet you sick mutants killed them. My parents were confused aliens lost on Earth and you killed them! Is that it? Admit it!",Hooded,Figure #2: Yes. We killed them.
Hooded,Figure #2: Yes. We killed them.,Hooded,Figure #1: You guessed the truth.
Hooded,Figure #1: You guessed the truth.,Leela,Because of you I'll never know my parents. I'll kill you!
Leela,Because of you I'll never know my parents. I'll kill you!,Hooded,Figure #1: That would be best.
Hooded,Figure #1: That would be best.,Fry,"Thanks, Bender! Don't do it, Leela!"
Fry,"Thanks, Bender! Don't do it, Leela!",Leela,They killed my parents!
Leela,They killed my parents!,Fry,Close.
Fry,Close.,Leela,my parents.
Leela,my parents.,Munda,Yes.
Munda,Yes.,Fry,I had the Professor analyse the Alienese letter that was found with you.
Fry,I had the Professor analyse the Alienese letter that was found with you.,Leela,What does it say?
Leela,What does it say?,Fry,I 'unno. But the analysis showed it was printed on recycled toilet paper. A squeezably soft paper used mainly in the sewers.
Fry,I 'unno. But the analysis showed it was printed on recycled toilet paper. A squeezably soft paper used mainly in the sewers.,Munda,"It says, Your parents love you very much."
Munda,"It says, Your parents love you very much.",Morris,We still do.
Morris,We still do.,Leela,"So, I'm not an alien? I'm a mutant."
Leela,"So, I'm not an alien? I'm a mutant.",Morris,We never wanted you to know. You deserved a better life.
Morris,We never wanted you to know. You deserved a better life.,Munda,You must despise us.
Munda,You must despise us.,Leela,This is the happiest moment of my life.
Leela,This is the happiest moment of my life.,Bender,Aw!
Bender,Aw!,Bender,"You are one narrow minded spaceship, Planet Express Ship."
Bender,"You are one narrow minded spaceship, Planet Express Ship.",Ship,pay for art I find offensive?
Ship,pay for art I find offensive?,Bender,Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?
Bender,Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?,Ship,"Oh, it's filthy! Why not create a national endowment for strip clubs while we're at it?"
Ship,"Oh, it's filthy! Why not create a national endowment for strip clubs while we're at it?",Bender,"Why not, indeed?"
Bender,"Why not, indeed?",Leela,Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm gonna come back there and change your opinions manually.
Leela,Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm gonna come back there and change your opinions manually.,Bender,Fine! I'll be in my quarters appreciating controversial artworks.
Bender,Fine! I'll be in my quarters appreciating controversial artworks.,Bender,"Ah, that Ship is so white bread!"
Bender,"Ah, that Ship is so white bread!",Hermes,"People, it's Valentine's Day next week, so your beloved company has gotten you all new uniforms."
Hermes,"People, it's Valentine's Day next week, so your beloved company has gotten you all new uniforms.",Amy,Clool!
Amy,Clool!,Zoidberg,"Clothing, delicious clothing!"
Zoidberg,"Clothing, delicious clothing!",Farnsworth,"We'll need to look our best if we're to get the account of our new potential customer, Romanticorp."
Farnsworth,"We'll need to look our best if we're to get the account of our new potential customer, Romanticorp.",Amy,Romanticorp? Are they a corporation that makes romantic stuff?
Amy,Romanticorp? Are they a corporation that makes romantic stuff?,Hermes,"Very good, Amy!"
Hermes,"Very good, Amy!",Farnsworth,Everyone suit up. We're off to the most romantic city on Earth!
Farnsworth,Everyone suit up. We're off to the most romantic city on Earth!,Farnsworth,"Remember, we've got to show these people we're not bitter husks of human beings who long ago abandoned hope of finding love in this lifetime. Leela, you'll have to do some acting."
Farnsworth,"Remember, we've got to show these people we're not bitter husks of human beings who long ago abandoned hope of finding love in this lifetime. Leela, you'll have to do some acting.",Leela,Check!
Leela,Check!,Sheldon,"I'm Sheldon, and this is my chief financial officer, Gwen."
Sheldon,"I'm Sheldon, and this is my chief financial officer, Gwen.",Gwen,For 30 years we've shared the adventure of managing Romanticorp.
Gwen,For 30 years we've shared the adventure of managing Romanticorp.,Sheldon,Not to mention the adventure of marriage.
Sheldon,Not to mention the adventure of marriage.,Leela,"Ow! I mean, Aww dat's show shweet!"
Leela,"Ow! I mean, Aww dat's show shweet!",Farnsworth,"You know, romance is an important part of our work too. Uh, right, everyone?"
Farnsworth,"You know, romance is an important part of our work too. Uh, right, everyone?",Leela,"Yeah, sure."
Leela,"Yeah, sure.",Bender,"Oh, sure."
Bender,"Oh, sure.",Sheldon,Do any of you collect Lovey Bears?
Sheldon,Do any of you collect Lovey Bears?,Amy,I do! Kif's given me dozens. Is it true what the ad says? That you kiss them together out of blanket cloth and magic buttons?
Amy,I do! Kif's given me dozens. Is it true what the ad says? That you kiss them together out of blanket cloth and magic buttons?,Gwen,No.
Gwen,No.,Sheldon,They frolic in the Lovey Forest until their first birthday. Then we choose the cuddly-uddliest ones and stuff them full of fire-retardant love fluff!
Sheldon,They frolic in the Lovey Forest until their first birthday. Then we choose the cuddly-uddliest ones and stuff them full of fire-retardant love fluff!,Amy,So cute!
Amy,So cute!,Gwen,Knowing which pickup lines fizzle and which ones sizzle keeps us on the cutting edge of flirtation technology.
Gwen,Knowing which pickup lines fizzle and which ones sizzle keeps us on the cutting edge of flirtation technology.,Frame,#1: Is heaven missing an angel? 'Cause you've got nice cans!
Frame,#1: Is heaven missing an angel? 'Cause you've got nice cans!,Frame,#2: My two favourite things are commitment and changing myself.
Frame,#2: My two favourite things are commitment and changing myself.,Leela,Does that dummy have a brother?
Leela,Does that dummy have a brother?,Sheldon,"And now, friends and lovers, we come to the heart of our operation. Pun definitely intended!"
Sheldon,"And now, friends and lovers, we come to the heart of our operation. Pun definitely intended!",Hermes,Impressive!
Hermes,Impressive!,Gwen,My family has been making these hearts since the 1900s. Tastes may have changed but our secret recipe sure hasn't.
Gwen,My family has been making these hearts since the 1900s. Tastes may have changed but our secret recipe sure hasn't.,Fry,"Whoa! Letters like U and R can mean words like You and Are. Here, Leela, U-R-2 Cute."
Fry,"Whoa! Letters like U and R can mean words like You and Are. Here, Leela, U-R-2 Cute.",Leela,Perhaps. What's your point?
Leela,Perhaps. What's your point?,Fry,"I've never been able to put into words how I feel about you. But somewhere among these trillions of hearts, those words must already exist. And I'm gonna find them."
Fry,"I've never been able to put into words how I feel about you. But somewhere among these trillions of hearts, those words must already exist. And I'm gonna find them.",Farnsworth,"So, do we have the contract?"
Farnsworth,"So, do we have the contract?",Farnsworth,"With that big new Romanticorp contract, I've been able to make those government-mandated upgrades you've all been suing me about."
Farnsworth,"With that big new Romanticorp contract, I've been able to make those government-mandated upgrades you've all been suing me about.",Leela,"Ooh, look! You taped up the cracks in the dark matter reactor."
Leela,"Ooh, look! You taped up the cracks in the dark matter reactor.",Fry,And you got a cage for the lion!
Fry,And you got a cage for the lion!,Bender,"Hey, who's been messing with the radio? This isn't alternative rock, it's college rock!"
Bender,"Hey, who's been messing with the radio? This isn't alternative rock, it's college rock!",Farnsworth,"Oh, it must have been the ship's new improved personality software I installed."
Farnsworth,"Oh, it must have been the ship's new improved personality software I installed.",Ship,"Yeah, it was me. It's a cute song."
Ship,"Yeah, it was me. It's a cute song.",Bender,"Listen, Ship! No one changes my stations! I hope you have a good mechanic!"
Bender,"Listen, Ship! No one changes my stations! I hope you have a good mechanic!",Farnsworth,It even comes with an adjustable voice.
Farnsworth,It even comes with an adjustable voice.,Ship,"Remember, Bender? That was the deal."
Ship,"Remember, Bender? That was the deal.",Bender,What? Did you just say--
Bender,What? Did you just say--,Ship,"Oh, gosh! That came out all wrong!"
Ship,"Oh, gosh! That came out all wrong!",Bender,"Too late, baby, you said it! So, what'll it be? My place ... or you?"
Bender,"Too late, baby, you said it! So, what'll it be? My place ... or you?",Fry,"I Love You. Hmm, too conventional. You're My Man. Ooh, so close!"
Fry,"I Love You. Hmm, too conventional. You're My Man. Ooh, so close!",Leela,"I'm not impressed by a guy's message, Fry, I'm impressed by the guy. Or not."
Leela,"I'm not impressed by a guy's message, Fry, I'm impressed by the guy. Or not.",Fry,Whoa!
Fry,Whoa!,Leela,What was that?
Leela,What was that?,Fry,Maybe we hit a space cow.
Fry,Maybe we hit a space cow.,Bender,"Coochie, coochie!"
Bender,"Coochie, coochie!",Ship,Stop it! You're mussing up my trajectory!
Ship,Stop it! You're mussing up my trajectory!,Bender,"You know you love it, sugar-engine!"
Bender,"You know you love it, sugar-engine!",Ship,No!
Ship,No!,Leela,Planet Express Ship! Cover your shame.
Leela,Planet Express Ship! Cover your shame.,Ship,"It's not what it looks like. Uh, Bender was just helping me ... zip up my turbine."
Ship,"It's not what it looks like. Uh, Bender was just helping me ... zip up my turbine.",Fry,but-- How can you date a ship anyway? It'd be like me dating a really fat lady. And living inside her. And she'd be all like--
Fry,but-- How can you date a ship anyway? It'd be like me dating a really fat lady. And living inside her. And she'd be all like--,Bender,"Fry, in order for me to get busy at maximum efficiency, I need a girl with a big 400-ton booty."
Bender,"Fry, in order for me to get busy at maximum efficiency, I need a girl with a big 400-ton booty.",Leela,"Bender, dating your co-worker and primary mode of transportation is immoral, illogical and a violation of interstellar shipping statute 437-B."
Leela,"Bender, dating your co-worker and primary mode of transportation is immoral, illogical and a violation of interstellar shipping statute 437-B.",Bender,That's what makes it so nasty!
Bender,That's what makes it so nasty!,Leela,"Still, given the chance, I'd give in to urges far more shocking."
Leela,"Still, given the chance, I'd give in to urges far more shocking.",Give,"me your answer do,"
Give,"me your answer do,",It,"won't be a stylish marriage,"
It,"won't be a stylish marriage,",Bender,"I can't afford a carriage,"
Bender,"I can't afford a carriage,",Of,a bicycle built for two.
Of,a bicycle built for two.,Bender,"Well, I'm sick of her."
Bender,"Well, I'm sick of her.",Fry,The ship? But you just started dating.
Fry,The ship? But you just started dating.,Bender,"With my mighty robot powers, I can get sick of things much quicker than you humans."
Bender,"With my mighty robot powers, I can get sick of things much quicker than you humans.",Leela,Well just remember we all still have to work together. So try and let her down easy.
Leela,Well just remember we all still have to work together. So try and let her down easy.,Bender,"In due time, Leela. But for now I'll just resume dating cheap floozies on the side."
Bender,"In due time, Leela. But for now I'll just resume dating cheap floozies on the side.",Fry,You have much to teach us.
Fry,You have much to teach us.,Leela,Doesn't it bother you even a little to be taking advantage of your girlfriend's trust?
Leela,Doesn't it bother you even a little to be taking advantage of your girlfriend's trust?,Bender,"Oh, wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder."
Bender,"Oh, wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder.",Fembot,#1: What's it like being a lawyer for the Mayor's office and also the world's strongest millionaire?
Fembot,#1: What's it like being a lawyer for the Mayor's office and also the world's strongest millionaire?,Bender,"Well, baby, for starters you need to be honest all the time!"
Bender,"Well, baby, for starters you need to be honest all the time!",Elzar,"Good evening, Bender. And to your lady friends may I say, Bam!"
Elzar,"Good evening, Bender. And to your lady friends may I say, Bam!",Fembot,#2: You know Elzar?
Fembot,#2: You know Elzar?,Ship,Hm.
Ship,Hm.,Fry,Planet Express Ship? Is that you?
Fry,Planet Express Ship? Is that you?,Ship,"Oh. Hi, Fry. Is Bender home?"
Ship,"Oh. Hi, Fry. Is Bender home?",Fry,"Uh, no. Um, I think he's at his parents'."
Fry,"Uh, no. Um, I think he's at his parents'.",Ship,"Oh, I see. He didn't fly there in another spaceship did he?"
Ship,"Oh, I see. He didn't fly there in another spaceship did he?",Fry?,"No! He's an old-fashioned one-spaceship robot. Look, I'll tell him you stopped by, K?"
Fry?,"No! He's an old-fashioned one-spaceship robot. Look, I'll tell him you stopped by, K?",Ship,"Oh. Hi, Fry. Is he home now?"
Ship,"Oh. Hi, Fry. Is he home now?",Ship,"Of all the zoos we've been to today, I like this one the best. Bender, which is your favourite nocturnal rat?"
Ship,"Of all the zoos we've been to today, I like this one the best. Bender, which is your favourite nocturnal rat?",Bender,"Eh, they're all pretty unimpressive."
Bender,"Eh, they're all pretty unimpressive.",Ship,"It says here the babies lose their pyjama-like coat after their first year. Isn't that interesting, honey?"
Ship,"It says here the babies lose their pyjama-like coat after their first year. Isn't that interesting, honey?",Bender,Yep. Mind-numbingly interesting. Ooh!
Bender,Yep. Mind-numbingly interesting. Ooh!,Ship,Bender! Are you looking at other women?
Ship,Bender! Are you looking at other women?,Bender,"No, baby, never!"
Bender,"No, baby, never!",Ship,"Bender, don't lie! I saw you at Elzar's with those two ladies of the evening. Explain that!"
Ship,"Bender, don't lie! I saw you at Elzar's with those two ladies of the evening. Explain that!",Bender,"Ah, I got it! I'm going to be completely honest with you, Planet Express Ship. Those women you saw me with ... were my accountants."
Bender,"Ah, I got it! I'm going to be completely honest with you, Planet Express Ship. Those women you saw me with ... were my accountants.",Ship,"Your accountants? Oh, I would dearly love to believe that were true. So I do."
Ship,"Your accountants? Oh, I would dearly love to believe that were true. So I do.",Bender,Phew!
Bender,Phew!,Ship,I'm gonna go home and get dinner started.
Ship,I'm gonna go home and get dinner started.,Liu,Who are you talking to?
Liu,Who are you talking to?,Bender,"No one, baby! Lucy Liu is the only girl for Bender."
Bender,"No one, baby! Lucy Liu is the only girl for Bender.",Liu,I love you--
Liu,I love you--,Leela,"Planet Express Ship, is something wrong?"
Leela,"Planet Express Ship, is something wrong?",Ship,Do you think he's going to ask me to marry him?
Ship,Do you think he's going to ask me to marry him?,Leela,"Uh, no."
Leela,"Uh, no.",Ship,"Oh, somebody knows something she's not telling!"
Ship,"Oh, somebody knows something she's not telling!",Leela,"Look, I'm not saying Bender's not great but have you ever considered that maybe he's, y'know, not that great?"
Leela,"Look, I'm not saying Bender's not great but have you ever considered that maybe he's, y'know, not that great?",Ship,You're just jealous. No one loves you cause you're tiny and you're made of meat.
Ship,You're just jealous. No one loves you cause you're tiny and you're made of meat.,Leela,Could you maybe pay a little more attention to these asteroids?
Leela,Could you maybe pay a little more attention to these asteroids?,Lrrr,"This is ancient Earth's most foolish program. Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?"
Lrrr,"This is ancient Earth's most foolish program. Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?",Nd-Nd,Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps.
Nd-Nd,Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps.,Guard,"Exalted leaders, the Earth messengers have arrived bearing a peace offering from their weak and fearful government."
Guard,"Exalted leaders, the Earth messengers have arrived bearing a peace offering from their weak and fearful government.",Lrrr,I am Lrrr of the planet Omicron Persei 8.
Lrrr,I am Lrrr of the planet Omicron Persei 8.,Leela,much!
Leela,much!,Lrrr,These candies are choky and unpleasant!
Lrrr,These candies are choky and unpleasant!,Nd-Nd,And what is this emotion you humans call wuv?
Nd-Nd,And what is this emotion you humans call wuv?,Lrrr,Surely it says love?
Lrrr,Surely it says love?,Nd-Nd,"No, wuv. With an Earth W. Behold!"
Nd-Nd,"No, wuv. With an Earth W. Behold!",Lrrr,This concept of wuv confuses and infuriates us!
Lrrr,This concept of wuv confuses and infuriates us!,Fry,Incoming torpedoes. Shields at maximum yarnell!
Fry,Incoming torpedoes. Shields at maximum yarnell!,Leela,"Steady, Planet Express Ship. Focus on diverting all power to the scramjets."
Leela,"Steady, Planet Express Ship. Focus on diverting all power to the scramjets.",Bender,"Uh, look, Planet Express Ship, this might not be the best time, but, well, I really like you and whatever, but, I think we should just be friends."
Bender,"Uh, look, Planet Express Ship, this might not be the best time, but, well, I really like you and whatever, but, I think we should just be friends.",Ship,Nooo!
Ship,Nooo!,Bender,So we're cool?
Bender,So we're cool?,Leela,"Well, it was a spectacular battle but there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage."
Leela,"Well, it was a spectacular battle but there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage.",Ship,No damage? What about my feelings?
Ship,No damage? What about my feelings?,Leela,"Aw, calm down. I'm sure Bender is taking this just as hard as you are."
Leela,"Aw, calm down. I'm sure Bender is taking this just as hard as you are.",Bender,"Bender is great, oh, Bender is great. Bender, Bender, Bender!"
Bender,"Bender is great, oh, Bender is great. Bender, Bender, Bender!",Fry,"You could've have picked a better time to dump the ship, Bender!"
Fry,"You could've have picked a better time to dump the ship, Bender!",Bender,"Ah, the moment seemed right. Call me old-fashioned but I like a dump to be as memorable as it is devastating."
Bender,"Ah, the moment seemed right. Call me old-fashioned but I like a dump to be as memorable as it is devastating.",Leela,"I know. I know. Look, Ship, if there's one thing I learned from my mutual break-up with Sean that was totally mutual, it's that happiness can only come from within you."
Leela,"I know. I know. Look, Ship, if there's one thing I learned from my mutual break-up with Sean that was totally mutual, it's that happiness can only come from within you.",Ship,within me! There must be some way to make him love me again.
Ship,within me! There must be some way to make him love me again.,Leela,Trust me. You can't change men anymore than you can change the laws of time and space.
Leela,Trust me. You can't change men anymore than you can change the laws of time and space.,Ship,"I may not be able to change the laws of time and space, but I know something that can."
Ship,"I may not be able to change the laws of time and space, but I know something that can.",Leela,"Um, sweetie? You see that giant quasar we're heading into? You might wanna scooch a few parsecs to the left."
Leela,"Um, sweetie? You see that giant quasar we're heading into? You might wanna scooch a few parsecs to the left.",Ship,"I'm afraid I can't do that, Leela."
Ship,"I'm afraid I can't do that, Leela.",Fry,What's happening? Space cow?
Fry,What's happening? Space cow?,Leela,She's nuts!
Leela,She's nuts!,Ship,"In a few moments, the power of 10 billion black holes will smush me and Bender together into a beautiful eternal quantum singularity."
Ship,"In a few moments, the power of 10 billion black holes will smush me and Bender together into a beautiful eternal quantum singularity.",Bender,"Uh, you don't need to kill us, Planet Express Ship ... because ... I love you. Oh, yeah, baby! I feel like doing stuff for you and stuff."
Bender,"Uh, you don't need to kill us, Planet Express Ship ... because ... I love you. Oh, yeah, baby! I feel like doing stuff for you and stuff.",Ship,"Hmm. I don't believe you. If you really wanted to be with me, you'd merge your programming with mine."
Ship,"Hmm. I don't believe you. If you really wanted to be with me, you'd merge your programming with mine.",Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down! All my friends who've done that said that afterwards all the passion went out of their relationship."
Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down! All my friends who've done that said that afterwards all the passion went out of their relationship.",Leela,"Look, I don't know if you want my opinion--"
Leela,"Look, I don't know if you want my opinion--",Ship,"Leela, Bender and I really need to be alone, so I'm turning off the oxygen."
Ship,"Leela, Bender and I really need to be alone, so I'm turning off the oxygen.",Leela,"Now look, missy! If you don't turn around now, I'm going to have to shut down your brain."
Leela,"Now look, missy! If you don't turn around now, I'm going to have to shut down your brain.",Ship,Fire detected in the vicinity of Leela.
Ship,Fire detected in the vicinity of Leela.,Fry,Ha! That barely hurt Leela at all!
Fry,Ha! That barely hurt Leela at all!,Ship,Maybe not. But what if the artificial gravity were to malfunction?
Ship,Maybe not. But what if the artificial gravity were to malfunction?,Bender,Float for your lives!
Bender,Float for your lives!,Leela,This is the one place she can't hear us. Everyone just pretend to shower.
Leela,This is the one place she can't hear us. Everyone just pretend to shower.,Fry,"Same as everyday, got it."
Fry,"Same as everyday, got it.",Leela,"Now, here's the plan."
Leela,"Now, here's the plan.",Ship,"Oh, if only I could read lips."
Ship,"Oh, if only I could read lips.","Leela,",Bender? You'll have to distract her. Merge your programming with hers while I shut down her brain.
"Leela,",Bender? You'll have to distract her. Merge your programming with hers while I shut down her brain.,Bender,"It's too risky. I'm a very meek individual. If her personality engulfs mine, the Bender you know and worship could disappear forever!"
Bender,"It's too risky. I'm a very meek individual. If her personality engulfs mine, the Bender you know and worship could disappear forever!",Leela,I'm willing to take that risk.
Leela,I'm willing to take that risk.,Bender,"Hey, pookums! Contrary to what I was saying earlier, melding minds with you would be extremely bearable."
Bender,"Hey, pookums! Contrary to what I was saying earlier, melding minds with you would be extremely bearable.",Ship,You really mean it?
Ship,You really mean it?,Bender,Yes!
Bender,Yes!,Bender,Huh? Tubes? You're older than you said you were!
Bender,Huh? Tubes? You're older than you said you were!,Ship,"Come closer, Bender. Let's become one!"
Ship,"Come closer, Bender. Let's become one!",Bender,I prefer two. That way we can still be a horse for Hallowe'en!
Bender,I prefer two. That way we can still be a horse for Hallowe'en!,Leela,I can't concentrate with this obnoxious candy in my face.
Leela,I can't concentrate with this obnoxious candy in my face.,Fry,I'm on it. And maybe I'll find those magic words while I'm at it.
Fry,I'm on it. And maybe I'll find those magic words while I'm at it.,Leela,Fat chance.
Leela,Fat chance.,Fry,Ooh! How 'bout this one?
Fry,Ooh! How 'bout this one?,Leela,"Give it up, Fry! I've got to pop these tops in a precise order."
Leela,"Give it up, Fry! I've got to pop these tops in a precise order.",Leela,Halfway there. The ship should be getting a bit less rational now.
Leela,Halfway there. The ship should be getting a bit less rational now.,Ship,Want ... engulf ... Bender!
Ship,Want ... engulf ... Bender!,Leela,Hey! I won free admission to Six Flags! Just one more reason we must survive this.
Leela,Hey! I won free admission to Six Flags! Just one more reason we must survive this.,Fry,"Um, Leela?"
Fry,"Um, Leela?",Leela,What was that?
Leela,What was that?,Fry,"Oh, nothing."
Fry,"Oh, nothing.",Ship,"We're gonna love being each other, you sexy ion!"
Ship,"We're gonna love being each other, you sexy ion!",Bender,Nooo!
Bender,Nooo!,Leela,Last one!
Leela,Last one!,Leela,"Happy Valentine's Day, Fry."
Leela,"Happy Valentine's Day, Fry.",Fry,Happy Valentine's day.
Fry,Happy Valentine's day.,Fry,Bender! Are you OK?
Fry,Bender! Are you OK?,Bender,"Aw, what crazy thing am I going to date next?"
Bender,"Aw, what crazy thing am I going to date next?",Leela,Well at least it sounds like you were able to keep your consciousness separate from hers.
Leela,Well at least it sounds like you were able to keep your consciousness separate from hers.,Bender,And that's why I love him!
Bender,And that's why I love him!,Fry,"Well, I guess we'd better clean up these millions of hearts."
Fry,"Well, I guess we'd better clean up these millions of hearts.",Leela,"Nah, I've got a lazier idea."
Leela,"Nah, I've got a lazier idea.",Zoidberg,"As the candy hearts poured into the fiery quasar, a wondrous thing happened, why not. They vaporised into a mystical love radiation that spread across the universe, destroying many, many planets, including two gangster planets and a cowboy world. But one planet was at exactly the right distance to see the romantic rays, but not be destroyed by them: Earth. So all over the world, couples stood together in joy. And me, Zoidberg! And no one could have been happier unless it would have also been Valentine's Day. What? It was? Hooray!"
Zoidberg,"As the candy hearts poured into the fiery quasar, a wondrous thing happened, why not. They vaporised into a mystical love radiation that spread across the universe, destroying many, many planets, including two gangster planets and a cowboy world. But one planet was at exactly the right distance to see the romantic rays, but not be destroyed by them: Earth. So all over the world, couples stood together in joy. And me, Zoidberg! And no one could have been happier unless it would have also been Valentine's Day. What? It was? Hooray!",SewerCom,by SewerCom. Reach out and touch the sewers.
SewerCom,by SewerCom. Reach out and touch the sewers.,Munda,"Look, Morris, it's Leela calling."
Munda,"Look, Morris, it's Leela calling.",Leela,"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. Ready for your big trip to the surface?"
Leela,"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. Ready for your big trip to the surface?",Morris,"We're excited, honey, but we don't wanna embarrass you. I mean, your mother and I are basically monsters."
Morris,"We're excited, honey, but we don't wanna embarrass you. I mean, your mother and I are basically monsters.",Leela,mutant!
Leela,mutant!,Munda,And it was on sale!
Munda,And it was on sale!,Leela,be ashamed of my parents. I'll see you this weekend.
Leela,be ashamed of my parents. I'll see you this weekend.,Leela,"Hey, guess who I just got off the videophone with?"
Leela,"Hey, guess who I just got off the videophone with?",Bender,No.
Bender,No.,Leela,My parents! They're coming up from the sewers for a visit Sunday.
Leela,My parents! They're coming up from the sewers for a visit Sunday.,Amy,"Are you off your rocket? Your parents are mutants. It's illegal for them to come above ground 'cause they're inferior genetic scum. Uh, present company excluded, of course."
Amy,"Are you off your rocket? Your parents are mutants. It's illegal for them to come above ground 'cause they're inferior genetic scum. Uh, present company excluded, of course.",Leela,I'm getting them a special one-day surface permit from Citihall.
Leela,I'm getting them a special one-day surface permit from Citihall.,Hermes,"Ooh. While you're there, could you pick me up a licence to kill?"
Hermes,"Ooh. While you're there, could you pick me up a licence to kill?",Leela,Sure. Bare hands or weapon?
Leela,Sure. Bare hands or weapon?,Hermes,"Uh, what does piano wire count as?"
Hermes,"Uh, what does piano wire count as?",Farnsworth,"Good news, anyone. The Swedish robot from Pi-kea is here with the super collider I ordered."
Farnsworth,"Good news, anyone. The Swedish robot from Pi-kea is here with the super collider I ordered.",πkea,Robot: Enjoy your affordable Swedish crap.
πkea,Robot: Enjoy your affordable Swedish crap.,Fry,"Uh-huh. Alright, we're all set."
Fry,"Uh-huh. Alright, we're all set.",Bender,Nothing like the rustic wholesomeness of working with one's own hand.
Bender,Nothing like the rustic wholesomeness of working with one's own hand.,Bender,"Ah, there. Finished. And with only six missing pieces!"
Bender,"Ah, there. Finished. And with only six missing pieces!",Fry,Those Swedes sure know how to put in almost everything you need.
Fry,Those Swedes sure know how to put in almost everything you need.,Fry,I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
Fry,I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.,Zoidberg,"Come one, come all, he said. Step right up! This sounds too good to be true, I thought. He said I looked like a smart, young man. So is it a deal? I enquired. Two hours later he was gone, with 60 of my dollars. But I have the miracle cream--"
Zoidberg,"Come one, come all, he said. Step right up! This sounds too good to be true, I thought. He said I looked like a smart, young man. So is it a deal? I enquired. Two hours later he was gone, with 60 of my dollars. But I have the miracle cream--",Farnsworth,"Bad news, nobody. The super collider super-exploded. I need you to take it back and exchange it for a wobbly CD rack and some of those rancid meatballs."
Farnsworth,"Bad news, nobody. The super collider super-exploded. I need you to take it back and exchange it for a wobbly CD rack and some of those rancid meatballs.",Man,#1: Excuse me. hi! Do you have a minute? I live in Jersey City and my car broke down and I need to get back because my Aunt's real sick and she needs this medicine but I need money for the bus. So I'm mugging you. Hand over your wallets.
Man,#1: Excuse me. hi! Do you have a minute? I live in Jersey City and my car broke down and I need to get back because my Aunt's real sick and she needs this medicine but I need money for the bus. So I'm mugging you. Hand over your wallets.,Leela,I don't believe that story for a second.
Leela,I don't believe that story for a second.,Man,"#1: It doesn't matter, I'm mugging you."
Man,"#1: It doesn't matter, I'm mugging you.",Fry,There's no bus to Jersey City.
Fry,There's no bus to Jersey City.,Man,#1: Give me your wallets now or my robot'll shoot.
Man,#1: Give me your wallets now or my robot'll shoot.,Andrew,Don't make me hurt you.
Andrew,Don't make me hurt you.,Fry,"I'm too scared to find my pocket. Here, I'll just take of my pants and give you those."
Fry,"I'm too scared to find my pocket. Here, I'll just take of my pants and give you those.",Man,"#1 What the-- Laser-proof shirts, huh? I'll show you."
Man,"#1 What the-- Laser-proof shirts, huh? I'll show you.",Leela,Hi-yah!
Leela,Hi-yah!,Man,#1: Foiled. And after years of planning.
Man,#1: Foiled. And after years of planning.,Andrew,You're outta the game!
Andrew,You're outta the game!,Leela,How did we manage to survive? What gave us those strange powers?
Leela,How did we manage to survive? What gave us those strange powers?,Fry,"Maybe we're all wearing magic rings but they're invisible rings so we don't even realise it. Also, you can't feel the rings."
Fry,"Maybe we're all wearing magic rings but they're invisible rings so we don't even realise it. Also, you can't feel the rings.",Leela,May cause superpowers in humans.
Leela,May cause superpowers in humans.,Fry,Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub into your skin? You'd think it'd be something you have to freebase.
Fry,Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub into your skin? You'd think it'd be something you have to freebase.,Leela,Let's see. Which powers do we have? Super-strength?
Leela,Let's see. Which powers do we have? Super-strength?,Fry,Yup.
Fry,Yup.,Leela,Uh-huh. Lickety speed?
Leela,Uh-huh. Lickety speed?,Fry,Check.
Fry,Check.,Leela,Ability to command the loyalty of sea creatures?
Leela,Ability to command the loyalty of sea creatures?,Fry,"Hey, Zoidberg, get in here!"
Fry,"Hey, Zoidberg, get in here!",Zoidberg,Screw you!
Zoidberg,Screw you!,Leela,Ain't got that.
Leela,Ain't got that.,Fry,Nope!
Fry,Nope!,Leela,Wow. Superpowers! I'll be able to pack my day with twice as many humdrum activities.
Leela,Wow. Superpowers! I'll be able to pack my day with twice as many humdrum activities.,Fry,"Leela, I think you're missing the big picture. When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?"
Fry,"Leela, I think you're missing the big picture. When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?",Leela,To have parents.
Leela,To have parents.,Fry,we're Americans. This is our chance.
Fry,we're Americans. This is our chance.,Leela,Hmm. I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence. Let's do it!
Leela,Hmm. I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence. Let's do it!,Fry,You'll barely regret this!
Fry,You'll barely regret this!,Bender,"Hey, a friend of mine said he mugged you today and you had superpowers."
Bender,"Hey, a friend of mine said he mugged you today and you had superpowers.",Leela,It's true. Thanks to this funky-fresh cream.
Leela,It's true. Thanks to this funky-fresh cream.,Fry,Now me and Leela are forming an awesome crime-fighting duo.
Fry,Now me and Leela are forming an awesome crime-fighting duo.,Bender,I have these three costumes you could use. But I guess I'll just throw one away.
Bender,I have these three costumes you could use. But I guess I'll just throw one away.,Leela,"We'd love to have you on the team, Bender. But aren't you more on the supply side of crime?"
Leela,"We'd love to have you on the team, Bender. But aren't you more on the supply side of crime?",Fry,Plus the cream won't give you superpowers. You're a robot.
Fry,Plus the cream won't give you superpowers. You're a robot.,Bender,Also I got this going.
Bender,Also I got this going.,Leela,"Listen up, New New York: There's a new group of superheroes in town! And we're--"
Leela,"Listen up, New New York: There's a new group of superheroes in town! And we're--",Hattie,Quiet! It's 4am and I just fell asleep for the first time in 30 years!
Hattie,Quiet! It's 4am and I just fell asleep for the first time in 30 years!,Leela,A new era of justice has begun.
Leela,A new era of justice has begun.,Hattie,What?
Hattie,What?,Narrator,"Attention, all crooks, lowlifes and lawbreakers. Do yourselves a favour and crawl back into your filthy tenements, you human cockroaches. Or get your ugly face punched to custard by ... The New Justice Team."
Narrator,"Attention, all crooks, lowlifes and lawbreakers. Do yourselves a favour and crawl back into your filthy tenements, you human cockroaches. Or get your ugly face punched to custard by ... The New Justice Team.",Fry,Captain Yesterday!
Fry,Captain Yesterday!,Leela,Clobberella!
Leela,Clobberella!,Bender,And Superking! The best one of the three!
Bender,And Superking! The best one of the three!,Fry,Wow!
Fry,Wow!,Song,"Go, go, go, New Justice Team,"
Song,"Go, go, go, New Justice Team,","Team,","team, team,"
"Team,","team, team,",The,New Justice Team!
The,New Justice Team!,Not,"just fast but from the past,"
Not,"just fast but from the past,",Song,Captain Yesterday!
Song,Captain Yesterday!,"Superking,",you rule!
"Superking,",you rule!,Song,Clobberella!
Song,Clobberella!,Until,they run out of steam...
Until,they run out of steam...,Gives,"the power to the team,"
Gives,"the power to the team,",The,New Justice Team!
The,New Justice Team!,Bender,Ta-da!
Bender,Ta-da!,Woman,"Captain Yesterday, I find your skintight high-waters incredibly sexy. Let's get together sometime."
Woman,"Captain Yesterday, I find your skintight high-waters incredibly sexy. Let's get together sometime.",Fry,Sure. I'm listed in the phone book so once I reveal my real name to you along with my home address and a copy of my birth certificate--
Fry,Sure. I'm listed in the phone book so once I reveal my real name to you along with my home address and a copy of my birth certificate--,Leela,Are you crazy? We have to keep our secret identities secret.
Leela,Are you crazy? We have to keep our secret identities secret.,Fry,From everybody?
Fry,From everybody?,Leela,Especially from everybody.
Leela,Especially from everybody.,Fry,Give several reasons why.
Fry,Give several reasons why.,Leela,"For one, superheroes cause a lot of collateral damage, and we don't wanna get our butts sued."
Leela,"For one, superheroes cause a lot of collateral damage, and we don't wanna get our butts sued.",Fry,"Or do we? No, I guess not."
Fry,"Or do we? No, I guess not.",Leela,"Also, if our identities get out, every crook in the city will be after us. Or, God forbid, our loved ones."
Leela,"Also, if our identities get out, every crook in the city will be after us. Or, God forbid, our loved ones.",Bender,"How ya doin', kid?"
Bender,"How ya doin', kid?",Poopenmeyer,There you go. Two one-day mutant surface passes.
Poopenmeyer,There you go. Two one-day mutant surface passes.,Leela,"Thank you, Mayor Poopenmeyer."
Leela,"Thank you, Mayor Poopenmeyer.",Poopenmeyer,Because I get to summon the New Justice Team!
Poopenmeyer,Because I get to summon the New Justice Team!,Leela,Sh!
Leela,Sh!,Poopenmeyer,"Uh, they're usually here by now."
Poopenmeyer,"Uh, they're usually here by now.",Leela,"Well, so long. Keep in touch."
Leela,"Well, so long. Keep in touch.",Poopenmeyer,Is this clown on? Where are those daring crime stoppers?
Poopenmeyer,Is this clown on? Where are those daring crime stoppers?,Leela,"Oh, I completely forgot. I left my apartment on fire!"
Leela,"Oh, I completely forgot. I left my apartment on fire!",Bender,"Uh, as for me, I'm late for my LSAT's."
Bender,"Uh, as for me, I'm late for my LSAT's.",Fry,And I can't take life anymore.
Fry,And I can't take life anymore.,Poopenmeyer,We've received a tip that the Museum of Natural History will be robbed tomorrow at exactly 9am. The target: The priceless Quantum Gemerald.
Poopenmeyer,We've received a tip that the Museum of Natural History will be robbed tomorrow at exactly 9am. The target: The priceless Quantum Gemerald.,Fry,Who's the perp?
Fry,Who's the perp?,Poopenmeyer,"A dangerous villain known as The Zookeeper, who commits crimes aided by a pack of highly-trained animals."
Poopenmeyer,"A dangerous villain known as The Zookeeper, who commits crimes aided by a pack of highly-trained animals.",Fry,Pack of highly. Got it!
Fry,Pack of highly. Got it!,Poopenmeyer,"His crew includes a badger with a troubled past and nothing left to lose, an elephant who never forgets -- to kill! And a seldom-used crab named Lucky, a.k.a. Citizen Snips."
Poopenmeyer,"His crew includes a badger with a troubled past and nothing left to lose, an elephant who never forgets -- to kill! And a seldom-used crab named Lucky, a.k.a. Citizen Snips.",Leela,"You can count on us, Mr. Mayor. Justice away!"
Leela,"You can count on us, Mr. Mayor. Justice away!",Bender,Hold the elevator!
Bender,Hold the elevator!,Bender,We're in here too.
Bender,We're in here too.,Fry,"Uh, Leela, how you gonna meet your folks tomorrow? We've already scheduled the Zookeeper for a 9am foiling at the museum."
Fry,"Uh, Leela, how you gonna meet your folks tomorrow? We've already scheduled the Zookeeper for a 9am foiling at the museum.",Leela,museum at 10.
Leela,museum at 10.,Bender,The name's Bender!
Bender,The name's Bender!,Leela,There they are!
Leela,There they are!,Munda,How could Leela not be here? Do you think she forgot?
Munda,How could Leela not be here? Do you think she forgot?,Morris,Relax. I'm sure she's just ashamed of us.
Morris,Relax. I'm sure she's just ashamed of us.,Security,"Guard: Yo! Freakjobs! Hit the nearest manhole, pronto, like."
Security,"Guard: Yo! Freakjobs! Hit the nearest manhole, pronto, like.",Morris,But we have passes that allow us to be up here. From the mayor himself.
Morris,But we have passes that allow us to be up here. From the mayor himself.,Security,Guard: I dunno. I never heard of no mayor.
Security,Guard: I dunno. I never heard of no mayor.,Randy,The Zookeeper!
Randy,The Zookeeper!,Zookeeper,Sorry I'm late. Long story. Now everybody hit the deck! I'm cutting the entire line and stealing the exhibit.
Zookeeper,Sorry I'm late. Long story. Now everybody hit the deck! I'm cutting the entire line and stealing the exhibit.,Leela,You're not stealing anything! Nobody hit the deck!
Leela,You're not stealing anything! Nobody hit the deck!,Fry,That was uncalled for.
Fry,That was uncalled for.,Zookeeper,"Animals, attack."
Zookeeper,"Animals, attack.",Tour,Guide: Please do not feed the animals!
Tour,Guide: Please do not feed the animals!,Bender,"You're going down, my friend! Down Under!"
Bender,"You're going down, my friend! Down Under!",Roosevelt,Citizen Snips!
Roosevelt,Citizen Snips!,Zookeeper,"Nice job, Fingers!"
Zookeeper,"Nice job, Fingers!",Munda,I'm scared and confused. I think we've wandered into an off-Broadway play.
Munda,I'm scared and confused. I think we've wandered into an off-Broadway play.,Morris,"No, there are way too many people here."
Morris,"No, there are way too many people here.",Zookeeper,"Later, if anyone asks when I got away, tell them right now!"
Zookeeper,"Later, if anyone asks when I got away, tell them right now!",Leela,"Forget it, Zookeeper! You're going into captivity."
Leela,"Forget it, Zookeeper! You're going into captivity.",Zookeeper,"behind bars would have been far more delicious. Here, catch!"
Zookeeper,"behind bars would have been far more delicious. Here, catch!",Leela,"No, Fry! You can't fall fast enough!"
Leela,"No, Fry! You can't fall fast enough!",Bender,I don't got it!
Bender,I don't got it!,Roosevelt,You've saved the Gemerald!
Roosevelt,You've saved the Gemerald!,Fry,"Yet the Zookeeper escaped, thus proving that the deadliest animal of all is the Zookeeper."
Fry,"Yet the Zookeeper escaped, thus proving that the deadliest animal of all is the Zookeeper.",Bender,You can get off me anytime.
Bender,You can get off me anytime.,Leela,"Oh, no! My parents are leaving. I've gotta go change back into street-Leela."
Leela,"Oh, no! My parents are leaving. I've gotta go change back into street-Leela.",Photographer,#1: It's the New Justice Team!
Photographer,#1: It's the New Justice Team!,Photographer,#2: Can we get some photos?
Photographer,#2: Can we get some photos?,Poopenmeyer,"Thank you, mysterious heroes. The value of the Gemerald you saved is slightly greater than the cost of the damage you caused to this museum. A net gain for our great city!"
Poopenmeyer,"Thank you, mysterious heroes. The value of the Gemerald you saved is slightly greater than the cost of the damage you caused to this museum. A net gain for our great city!",Munda,It's good that Leela doesn't love us. She'll be less sad when we die.
Munda,It's good that Leela doesn't love us. She'll be less sad when we die.,Leela,Mom? Dad? I showed up! And I got the audio tour for Treasures of Liberace's Tomb.
Leela,Mom? Dad? I showed up! And I got the audio tour for Treasures of Liberace's Tomb.,Morris,"Sweetie, it's OK. You don't have to apologise for standing us up on the only visit to the surface we'll ever have."
Morris,"Sweetie, it's OK. You don't have to apologise for standing us up on the only visit to the surface we'll ever have.",Leela,"I wanna tell you why I didn't show up, but I can't. Just please believe me that it was a very good reason. I'm sorry I disappointed you."
Leela,"I wanna tell you why I didn't show up, but I can't. Just please believe me that it was a very good reason. I'm sorry I disappointed you.",Munda,"Leela, you could never disappoint us."
Munda,"Leela, you could never disappoint us.",Morris,"We're so proud of everything that you are, and we always will be. Because you're our baby girl."
Morris,"We're so proud of everything that you are, and we always will be. Because you're our baby girl.",Leela,"Oh, I can't take it! Mom, Dad, I'm Clobberella!"
Leela,"Oh, I can't take it! Mom, Dad, I'm Clobberella!",Morris,Galloping gators!
Morris,Galloping gators!,Munda,Well that's wonderful! But did you have to make the costume so revealing?
Munda,Well that's wonderful! But did you have to make the costume so revealing?,Morris,Look at me! Proud dad of a superhero! We should print up T-shirts. And F-shirts for our friends with two arms on the same side.
Morris,Look at me! Proud dad of a superhero! We should print up T-shirts. And F-shirts for our friends with two arms on the same side.,Leela,tell anyone under any circumstance.
Leela,tell anyone under any circumstance.,Morris,What if I've had a few?
Morris,What if I've had a few?,Leela,"Dad, you drink? No. Not even then."
Leela,"Dad, you drink? No. Not even then.",Morris,Alright. My sucker is sealed.
Morris,Alright. My sucker is sealed.,Leela,"It was brisk, I dressed in layers."
Leela,"It was brisk, I dressed in layers.",Munda,That's my girl!
Munda,That's my girl!,Morris,"So, uh, anyway, my daughter's Clobberella."
Morris,"So, uh, anyway, my daughter's Clobberella.",Raoul,Leela is Clobberella?
Raoul,Leela is Clobberella?,Leg,Mutant: You're pulling me!
Leg,Mutant: You're pulling me!,Morris,Sh. keep it under your sock. It's a big secret. That's why I'm only telling you two.
Morris,Sh. keep it under your sock. It's a big secret. That's why I'm only telling you two.,Big-Eared,"Mutant: Oh, my God! That guy's daughter is Clobberella. But don't tell anyone."
Big-Eared,"Mutant: Oh, my God! That guy's daughter is Clobberella. But don't tell anyone.",Big-Mouthed,Mutant: Gotcha!
Big-Mouthed,Mutant: Gotcha!,Zookeeper,"Greetings, superheroes. Remember me?"
Zookeeper,"Greetings, superheroes. Remember me?",Farnsworth,"I don't remember much, buddy. And you're no looker!"
Farnsworth,"I don't remember much, buddy. And you're no looker!",Leela,"Uh, Professor, isn't it time for your nap?"
Leela,"Uh, Professor, isn't it time for your nap?",Farnsworth,"Yes, damnit!"
Farnsworth,"Yes, damnit!",Leela,Zookeeper! How did you know our real identities?
Leela,Zookeeper! How did you know our real identities?,Zookeeper,Let's just say a little bird told me.
Zookeeper,Let's just say a little bird told me.,Parrot,Leela told her parents. Leela's parents blabbed.
Parrot,Leela told her parents. Leela's parents blabbed.,Fry,"Leela, is the person that parrot is mimicking telling the truth by proxy?"
Fry,"Leela, is the person that parrot is mimicking telling the truth by proxy?",Leela,"Yes. My parents were so hurt, I couldn't help it! But I distinctly told them not to tell anyone."
Leela,"Yes. My parents were so hurt, I couldn't help it! But I distinctly told them not to tell anyone.",Bender,We are not amused.
Bender,We are not amused.,Zookeeper,And here's something you may or may not find interesting.
Zookeeper,And here's something you may or may not find interesting.,Leela,Mom! Dad!
Leela,Mom! Dad!,Munda,"Leela, please forgive us! Especially your father who's the one who told. Thank you very much, Morris."
Munda,"Leela, please forgive us! Especially your father who's the one who told. Thank you very much, Morris.",Leela,Are you alright? Has he hurt you?
Leela,Are you alright? Has he hurt you?,Morris,"Oh, God!"
Morris,"Oh, God!",Munda,Every couch and table has animal fur all over it. He lets them climb on everything!
Munda,Every couch and table has animal fur all over it. He lets them climb on everything!,Leela,"Alright, Zookeeper. What do you want?"
Leela,"Alright, Zookeeper. What do you want?",Zookeeper,to walk on dry land.
Zookeeper,to walk on dry land.,Munda,"Save us, Leela! I mean, if you don't have anything better to do."
Munda,"Save us, Leela! I mean, if you don't have anything better to do.",Leela,We're out of options. We have to steal the Gemerald!
Leela,We're out of options. We have to steal the Gemerald!,Fry,"But, should superheroes commit a crime, even to save lives? I need moral guidance. Bender?"
Fry,"But, should superheroes commit a crime, even to save lives? I need moral guidance. Bender?",Bender,"Hmm. The thought of stealing anything fills Superking with disgust. But if it must be so, then let a museum heist be pulled!"
Bender,"Hmm. The thought of stealing anything fills Superking with disgust. But if it must be so, then let a museum heist be pulled!",Fry,"Oh, no! Our superpower cream is out of itself!"
Fry,"Oh, no! Our superpower cream is out of itself!",Leela,Check inside the cap. There might be a caked-in goldmine.
Leela,Check inside the cap. There might be a caked-in goldmine.,Bender,zilcho? Is it too late to change my superhero name?
Bender,zilcho? Is it too late to change my superhero name?,Leela,Just be cool. Nobody knows we're super-powerly challenged.
Leela,Just be cool. Nobody knows we're super-powerly challenged.,Fry,"Man, this costume is so damn heavy!"
Fry,"Man, this costume is so damn heavy!",7¹¹,"Clerk: Hey, Captain Yesterday? Can I, like, wail on you with this 2-by-4 and it doesn't hurt you?"
7¹¹,"Clerk: Hey, Captain Yesterday? Can I, like, wail on you with this 2-by-4 and it doesn't hurt you?",Fry,Ow! That ... didn't hurt.
Fry,Ow! That ... didn't hurt.,Security,"Guard: Hi, superheroes. Everything OK?"
Security,"Guard: Hi, superheroes. Everything OK?",Leela,"Big O, little k, my friend! Just checking if everything's alright."
Leela,"Big O, little k, my friend! Just checking if everything's alright.",Security,"Guard: It's OK, alright!"
Security,"Guard: It's OK, alright!",Leela,"OK, then. Grab it!"
Leela,"OK, then. Grab it!",Tate,Yo! The superheroes have turned evil! Most uncool.
Tate,Yo! The superheroes have turned evil! Most uncool.,Security,Guard: Get 'em!
Security,Guard: Get 'em!,Leela,"Stay back! Or we'll, beat the tar out of you ... using superpowers!"
Leela,"Stay back! Or we'll, beat the tar out of you ... using superpowers!",Fry,So this is your lair?
Fry,So this is your lair?,Zookeeper,Of course not. You think I'd show you my lair? My lair's a million times nicer than this!
Zookeeper,Of course not. You think I'd show you my lair? My lair's a million times nicer than this!,Fry,"OK, take it easy!"
Fry,"OK, take it easy!",Bender,"Well, here's your lousy Gemerald."
Bender,"Well, here's your lousy Gemerald.",Zookeeper,Hawk! Fetch!
Zookeeper,Hawk! Fetch!,Fry,That seemed unnecessary.
Fry,That seemed unnecessary.,Zookeeper,"Our transaction is complete. Come, Solomon. To the lair."
Zookeeper,"Our transaction is complete. Come, Solomon. To the lair.",Leela,"Mom! Dad! Oh, I'm so sorry I got you kidnapped by a crazy madman who tried to feed you to piranhas."
Leela,"Mom! Dad! Oh, I'm so sorry I got you kidnapped by a crazy madman who tried to feed you to piranhas.",Munda,We're just happy to be involved in your life.
Munda,We're just happy to be involved in your life.,Leela,"No, no. It's my fault for telling you I was a superhero."
Leela,"No, no. It's my fault for telling you I was a superhero.",Morris,That's true.
Morris,That's true.,Leela,I just couldn't stand to have you to think I was ashamed of you.
Leela,I just couldn't stand to have you to think I was ashamed of you.,Munda,"That's sweet, honey. But it's natural for children to be a little ashamed of their parents."
Munda,"That's sweet, honey. But it's natural for children to be a little ashamed of their parents.",Fry,"Oh, yeah!"
Fry,"Oh, yeah!",Morris,Just like it's natural for parents to be a little disappointed in their children-- N-Not that we are.
Morris,Just like it's natural for parents to be a little disappointed in their children-- N-Not that we are.,Munda,But you could call a little more often.
Munda,But you could call a little more often.,Leela,OK.
Leela,OK.,Munda,And would it kill you to use some mouthwash?
Munda,And would it kill you to use some mouthwash?,Bender,"Hey, Fry, we've still got our costumes on. Wanna steal some more stuff?"
Bender,"Hey, Fry, we've still got our costumes on. Wanna steal some more stuff?",Fry,"I guess, as long as you think it's right."
Fry,"I guess, as long as you think it's right.",Bender,Superheroes away!
Bender,Superheroes away!,The,New Justice Team!
The,New Justice Team!,"Freedom,","freedom, freedom, oy!"
"Freedom,","freedom, freedom, oy!",Fry,"There's no denying it, the future's crazy! Oh, well. Don't wanna stand out."
Fry,"There's no denying it, the future's crazy! Oh, well. Don't wanna stand out.","Freedom,","freedom, freedom, oy!"
"Freedom,","freedom, freedom, oy!",Zoidberg,There's nothing crazy about it. It's just Freedom Day!
Zoidberg,There's nothing crazy about it. It's just Freedom Day!,Farnsworth,...an extremely dangerous mission...
Farnsworth,...an extremely dangerous mission...,Fry,"So, what is Freedom Day? Sounds like some kind of feminine hygiene product."
Fry,"So, what is Freedom Day? Sounds like some kind of feminine hygiene product.",Zoidberg,"No, it's a fabulous, crab-ulous day!"
Zoidberg,"No, it's a fabulous, crab-ulous day!",Amy,"If you wanna do something, you do it, and to splick with the consequences!"
Amy,"If you wanna do something, you do it, and to splick with the consequences!",Bender,"You know, like how I live every day."
Bender,"You know, like how I live every day.",Hermes,Happy Freedom Day! Ooh! I think my wrist is broken.
Hermes,Happy Freedom Day! Ooh! I think my wrist is broken.,Farnsworth,"Of course, it wouldn't be Freedom Day without the traditional Freedom Tub!"
Farnsworth,"Of course, it wouldn't be Freedom Day without the traditional Freedom Tub!",Hermes,Mmm! That'll feel nice on my shattered bones!
Hermes,Mmm! That'll feel nice on my shattered bones!,Fry,Wow! Nude hot-tubbing? That's all I need to hear about Freedom Day!
Fry,Wow! Nude hot-tubbing? That's all I need to hear about Freedom Day!,Zoidberg,"Then consider the following lecture a bonus: On Earth, freedom is a given. But on my planet, we have to suffer for it."
Zoidberg,"Then consider the following lecture a bonus: On Earth, freedom is a given. But on my planet, we have to suffer for it.",Decapodian,"Woman: Sure, you can be a comedian instead of a doctor -- if you want your parents to roll over in their graves!"
Decapodian,"Woman: Sure, you can be a comedian instead of a doctor -- if you want your parents to roll over in their graves!",Decapodian,"Man: Sure, you can vote for Shkinadel -- if you want there should be a recession!"
Decapodian,"Man: Sure, you can vote for Shkinadel -- if you want there should be a recession!",Decapodian,"Woman: Sure, you can go to medical school -- if you've given up on your dream of being a comedian!"
Decapodian,"Woman: Sure, you can go to medical school -- if you've given up on your dream of being a comedian!",Zoidberg,"That's why I love Earth! You can do what you want, and no one makes you feel guilty because no one cares."
Zoidberg,"That's why I love Earth! You can do what you want, and no one makes you feel guilty because no one cares.",Fry,We're not listening!
Fry,We're not listening!,Zoidberg,what I'm talking about!
Zoidberg,what I'm talking about!,Stilt,People
Stilt,People,"Freedom,","freedom, freedom, oy!"
"Freedom,","freedom, freedom, oy!",Bender,"Scuse me, comin' through. Freedom train arriving on track one."
Bender,"Scuse me, comin' through. Freedom train arriving on track one.",Woman,Ow! You broke my foot!
Woman,Ow! You broke my foot!,Bender,Freedom!
Bender,Freedom!,Morbo,"What's this next float, Linda?"
Morbo,"What's this next float, Linda?",Linda,"Representing our men, women and children in uniform, it's Earth's greatest space hero, Zapp Brannigan!"
Linda,"Representing our men, women and children in uniform, it's Earth's greatest space hero, Zapp Brannigan!",Zapp,"Oh, yeah! Thank you, Linda!"
Zapp,"Oh, yeah! Thank you, Linda!",Linda,"You're welcome! OK, Morbo, now it's your turn."
Linda,"You're welcome! OK, Morbo, now it's your turn.",Morbo,If that is your Freedom Day wish.
Morbo,If that is your Freedom Day wish.,Nixon,"Thank you, Secretary of Transportation. My fellow Earthicans, we enjoy so much freedom it's almost sickening. We're free to choose which hand our sex-monitoring chip is implanted in. And if we don't want to pay our taxes, why, we're free to spend a weekend with the Pain Monster."
Nixon,"Thank you, Secretary of Transportation. My fellow Earthicans, we enjoy so much freedom it's almost sickening. We're free to choose which hand our sex-monitoring chip is implanted in. And if we don't want to pay our taxes, why, we're free to spend a weekend with the Pain Monster.",Pain,"Monster: See you April 15th, folks!"
Pain,"Monster: See you April 15th, folks!",Nixon,"... Shankman's Rubbing Compound.  When something needs rubbing, think Shankman."
Nixon,"... Shankman's Rubbing Compound.  When something needs rubbing, think Shankman.",Bender,Yay! Shankman!
Bender,Yay! Shankman!,Hermes,It costs a little more but it's worth it!
Hermes,It costs a little more but it's worth it!,Nixon,"And now, let us salute that beloved symbol of freedom, our flag, Ol' Freebie!"
Nixon,"And now, let us salute that beloved symbol of freedom, our flag, Ol' Freebie!",Zoidberg,I'm swelling with patriotic mucus!
Zoidberg,I'm swelling with patriotic mucus!,Nixon,"In our darkest hour we can stand erect, with proud, upthrust bosoms!"
Nixon,"In our darkest hour we can stand erect, with proud, upthrust bosoms!",Fry,Anyone who laughs is a Communist!
Fry,Anyone who laughs is a Communist!,Nixon,It's gone!
Nixon,It's gone!,Zoidberg,"Yes, fellow patriots, I ate your flag. And I did it with pride. For to express oneself with doing a thing is the very essence of Freedom Day! Bless this planet and all its wonderful people!"
Zoidberg,"Yes, fellow patriots, I ate your flag. And I did it with pride. For to express oneself with doing a thing is the very essence of Freedom Day! Bless this planet and all its wonderful people!",Nixon,Kill him! Kill the traitor!
Nixon,Kill him! Kill the traitor!,Man,"#1: Hey, it's the guy who desecrated our flag!"
Man,"#1: Hey, it's the guy who desecrated our flag!",Nixon,Stop that red menace!
Nixon,Stop that red menace!,Zoidberg,Huh? My planet's embassy? They're paid to not kill me! A-yoop!
Zoidberg,Huh? My planet's embassy? They're paid to not kill me! A-yoop!,Zoidberg,"I thought I understood this world. I thought I was fitting in. But I guess I don't belong on here anymore than I belong on our crappy home planet-- Ooh, sorry."
Zoidberg,"I thought I understood this world. I thought I was fitting in. But I guess I don't belong on here anymore than I belong on our crappy home planet-- Ooh, sorry.",Decapodian,"Man: What sorry? Our planet stinks, we all know it."
Decapodian,"Man: What sorry? Our planet stinks, we all know it.",Ambassador,"Mervin: Enough with the persecution, I'm saying. Zoidberg, as Ambassador, I promise you the full support of our government, already."
Ambassador,"Mervin: Enough with the persecution, I'm saying. Zoidberg, as Ambassador, I promise you the full support of our government, already.",Decapodian,Woman: Poor boy. You want maybe a nice mug cocoa?
Decapodian,Woman: Poor boy. You want maybe a nice mug cocoa?,Zoidberg,"What, no marshmallows?"
Zoidberg,"What, no marshmallows?",Nixon,Let's storm the place ... without my prior knowledge.
Nixon,Let's storm the place ... without my prior knowledge.,Bender,"Scuse me, comin' through. Freedom train, step aside. You too, fatso. Freedom!"
Bender,"Scuse me, comin' through. Freedom train, step aside. You too, fatso. Freedom!",Leela,"Cool your jowls, Nixon. You may not like it that Dr. Zoidberg desecrated a flag. You might even find the image of it festering in his bowels somehow offensive. But the right to freedom of expression is guaranteed by the Earth Constitution."
Leela,"Cool your jowls, Nixon. You may not like it that Dr. Zoidberg desecrated a flag. You might even find the image of it festering in his bowels somehow offensive. But the right to freedom of expression is guaranteed by the Earth Constitution.",Nixon,Aroo! Maybe so. But I know a place where the Constitution doesn't mean squat.
Nixon,Aroo! Maybe so. But I know a place where the Constitution doesn't mean squat.,Myrtle,Fu: The Supreme Court hereby accepts the case of Earth vs. Zoidberg.
Myrtle,Fu: The Supreme Court hereby accepts the case of Earth vs. Zoidberg.,Nixon,Sock it to 'em!
Nixon,Sock it to 'em!,Eating,the flag is bad.
Eating,the flag is bad.,Scout,Leader: Now your noose knot has exactly seven twists.
Scout,Leader: Now your noose knot has exactly seven twists.,Man,#2
Man,#2,Let,me say it again...
Let,me say it again...,Crowd,Don't mess with Earth!
Crowd,Don't mess with Earth!,Fry,They sure hate Dr. Zoidberg.
Fry,They sure hate Dr. Zoidberg.,Bender,Pft. Posers! I was hating Zoidberg before it was cool.
Bender,Pft. Posers! I was hating Zoidberg before it was cool.,Fry,Where are we ever going to find a lawyer to take his case?
Fry,Where are we ever going to find a lawyer to take his case?,Leela,I'll ask the head of the ACLU -- once he's done singing.
Leela,I'll ask the head of the ACLU -- once he's done singing.,Man,#2 Kill Zoidberg! Goodnight!
Man,#2 Kill Zoidberg! Goodnight!,Old,Man Waterfall: Howdy there! I'm a lawyer and I'd like to help your friend out of his pickle.
Old,Man Waterfall: Howdy there! I'm a lawyer and I'd like to help your friend out of his pickle.,Fry,"Who are you, old man?"
Fry,"Who are you, old man?",Old,Man Waterfall: Name's Old Man Waterfall but most folks just call me Old Man.
Old,Man Waterfall: Name's Old Man Waterfall but most folks just call me Old Man.,Fry,I'll never remember that.
Fry,I'll never remember that.,Old,"Man Waterfall: I'm a veteran of three dozen wars. Name a body part and a planet and I've taken a bullet in it, on it. All to keep our flag flying free."
Old,"Man Waterfall: I'm a veteran of three dozen wars. Name a body part and a planet and I've taken a bullet in it, on it. All to keep our flag flying free.",Bender?,Are you familiar with the old robot saying does not compute?
Bender?,Are you familiar with the old robot saying does not compute?,Old,"Man Waterfall: Son, to me a robot's just a garbage can with sparks comin' out it."
Old,"Man Waterfall: Son, to me a robot's just a garbage can with sparks comin' out it.",Bender,The sparks keep me warm.
Bender,The sparks keep me warm.,Old,Man Waterfall: I don't condone what Dr. Zoidberg did but I'll fight tooth and nail for his freedom to do it. Or I would if I hadn't lost my teeth and nails on Mars and Saturn respectively.
Old,Man Waterfall: I don't condone what Dr. Zoidberg did but I'll fight tooth and nail for his freedom to do it. Or I would if I hadn't lost my teeth and nails on Mars and Saturn respectively.,Fry,"Wait, you're a lawyer? You're hired!"
Fry,"Wait, you're a lawyer? You're hired!",Fry,"You OK there in the embassy, Zoidberg?"
Fry,"You OK there in the embassy, Zoidberg?",Holo-Zoidberg,"No. There's no cocoa marshmallows, and every night the rats eat a little more of my foot!"
Holo-Zoidberg,"No. There's no cocoa marshmallows, and every night the rats eat a little more of my foot!",Bailiff,"Oyez, oyez, oyez. All rise for the Honourable Chief Justice, Myrtle Fu, and the Associate Justices."
Bailiff,"Oyez, oyez, oyez. All rise for the Honourable Chief Justice, Myrtle Fu, and the Associate Justices.",Myrtle,"Fu: Counsel, you may address the court on behalf of Earth, if you're ready."
Myrtle,"Fu: Counsel, you may address the court on behalf of Earth, if you're ready.",Hyper-Chicken,"I was hatched ready! Honourable judge heads, yonder crawdad done ate up our flag."
Hyper-Chicken,"I was hatched ready! Honourable judge heads, yonder crawdad done ate up our flag.",Holo-Zoidberg,"I was doing freedom of speech, Earth's most sacred right."
Holo-Zoidberg,"I was doing freedom of speech, Earth's most sacred right.",Hyper-Chicken,"of a mouth, not what goes in."
Hyper-Chicken,"of a mouth, not what goes in.",O'Connor,Can counsel cite precedent?
O'Connor,Can counsel cite precedent?,Hyper-Chicken,"Uh, yes, darlin', I can. In State Of Alabama vs. Giant Space Iguana, chewin' the corners off the Constitution was deemed non-protected speech."
Hyper-Chicken,"Uh, yes, darlin', I can. In State Of Alabama vs. Giant Space Iguana, chewin' the corners off the Constitution was deemed non-protected speech.",Souter,"He shut you up, O'Connor."
Souter,"He shut you up, O'Connor.",Myrtle,"Fu: Mr. Waterfall, you may now present arguments on behalf of Dr. Zoidberg."
Myrtle,"Fu: Mr. Waterfall, you may now present arguments on behalf of Dr. Zoidberg.",Holo-Zoidberg,"Oh, God, I'm nervous. Two of my three hearts are having attacks."
Holo-Zoidberg,"Oh, God, I'm nervous. Two of my three hearts are having attacks.",Bender,Court's kinda fun when it's not my ass on the line! Nachos?
Bender,Court's kinda fun when it's not my ass on the line! Nachos?,Old,Man Waterfall But I am a veteran who has fought for his planet. You see this hand of mine?
Old,Man Waterfall But I am a veteran who has fought for his planet. You see this hand of mine?,Scalia,"Yes, I do."
Scalia,"Yes, I do.",Old,"Man Waterfall Whoa, jeez!"
Old,"Man Waterfall Whoa, jeez!",Myrtle,"Fu By a vote of six-to-three, we find that flag eating is not protected by the Constitution."
Myrtle,"Fu By a vote of six-to-three, we find that flag eating is not protected by the Constitution.",Bender,Six-to-three? I beat the spread!
Bender,Six-to-three? I beat the spread!,Myrtle,Fu: The court orders an immediate public apology.
Myrtle,Fu: The court orders an immediate public apology.,Holo-Zoidberg,Apology accepted. Just don't let it happen again.
Holo-Zoidberg,Apology accepted. Just don't let it happen again.,Hermes,"She means you, you turkey of the sea!"
Hermes,"She means you, you turkey of the sea!",Holo-Zoidberg,who should get a nice lesson! So do your worst because no punishment could be worse than denying my freedom.
Holo-Zoidberg,who should get a nice lesson! So do your worst because no punishment could be worse than denying my freedom.,Myrtle,Fu: You are hereby sentenced to death.
Myrtle,Fu: You are hereby sentenced to death.,Holo-Zoidberg,"Wait, let me finish!"
Holo-Zoidberg,"Wait, let me finish!",Myrtle,"Fu: Also, in a rare double-whammy decision, the court finds polygamy constitutional."
Myrtle,"Fu: Also, in a rare double-whammy decision, the court finds polygamy constitutional.",Old,Man Waterfall: I can't wait to tell my husband!
Old,Man Waterfall: I can't wait to tell my husband!,Zapp,"Remember, men, take him alive so there's something left to kill."
Zapp,"Remember, men, take him alive so there's something left to kill.",Ambassador,Mervin.
Ambassador,Mervin.,Zapp,"Yeah? Well what are you going to do about it, Shrimp-y?"
Zapp,"Yeah? Well what are you going to do about it, Shrimp-y?",Ambassador,Mervin Yes I know it's a schlep. Just do it!
Ambassador,Mervin Yes I know it's a schlep. Just do it!,Zoidberg,Aha! Now the rubber band's on the other claw!
Zoidberg,Aha! Now the rubber band's on the other claw!,Zapp,Ready ... retreat!
Zapp,Ready ... retreat!,Patron,Shh!
Patron,Shh!,Zoidberg,"Deny my freedom, will you? Well we'll do to you what we did to the Squash Men of the Squash Planet! Squish them!"
Zoidberg,"Deny my freedom, will you? Well we'll do to you what we did to the Squash Men of the Squash Planet! Squish them!",Ambassador,Mervin: Charleston Chew?
Ambassador,Mervin: Charleston Chew?,Zoidberg,You bet!
Zoidberg,You bet!,Zapp,"Alright, Kif, let's show these freaks what a bloated, runaway military budget can do. Bring me the activation codes for our global defence network."
Zapp,"Alright, Kif, let's show these freaks what a bloated, runaway military budget can do. Bring me the activation codes for our global defence network.",Kif,"Aye, aye, sir."
Kif,"Aye, aye, sir.",Computer,Voice No tongue.
Computer,Voice No tongue.,Zapp,"I'm watching you! You, ensign, what's your name?"
Zapp,"I'm watching you! You, ensign, what's your name?",Ensign,"Hugh Man, sir."
Ensign,"Hugh Man, sir.",Zapp,"Hugh Man? Now that's a name I can trust. Run down to the central battle computer and enter these codes. Chop, chop!"
Zapp,"Hugh Man? Now that's a name I can trust. Run down to the central battle computer and enter these codes. Chop, chop!",Kif,"Um, sir? There's something about that ensign that's--"
Kif,"Um, sir? There's something about that ensign that's--",Zapp,You're damn right there is! That strapping young lad's gunning for your job. And he just might get it.
Zapp,You're damn right there is! That strapping young lad's gunning for your job. And he just might get it.,Zapp,"Tick, tock!"
Zapp,"Tick, tock!",Zapp,"Well, Kif, stand by to take the blame. Steady, steady ... now!"
Zapp,"Well, Kif, stand by to take the blame. Steady, steady ... now!",Leela,"Dr. Zoidberg, how can you claim to love freedom and then enslave all of Earth?"
Leela,"Dr. Zoidberg, how can you claim to love freedom and then enslave all of Earth?",Zoidberg,"Bah! Your planet doesn't deserve freedom until it learns what it is to not have freedom. It's a lesson, I say."
Zoidberg,"Bah! Your planet doesn't deserve freedom until it learns what it is to not have freedom. It's a lesson, I say.",Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Bender,"What the hell is this dirt pile we're building, anyhow?"
Bender,"What the hell is this dirt pile we're building, anyhow?",Zoidberg,Glob!
Zoidberg,Glob!,Fry,"I'm no good at being a slave. I'm thinking about graduate school. Y'know, to become a barber?"
Fry,"I'm no good at being a slave. I'm thinking about graduate school. Y'know, to become a barber?",Leela,This can't go on. Today is the day we fight back!
Leela,This can't go on. Today is the day we fight back!,Bender,It's already 10 o'clock!
Bender,It's already 10 o'clock!,Leela,"Oh, you're right. Tomorrow is the day we fight back."
Leela,"Oh, you're right. Tomorrow is the day we fight back.",Zapp,"Yeah? Well good luck, sister. All our modern technology is useless."
Zapp,"Yeah? Well good luck, sister. All our modern technology is useless.",Bender,am.
Bender,am.,Fry,"Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things. You know, a headache with pictures?"
Fry,"Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things. You know, a headache with pictures?",Leela,An idea?
Leela,An idea?,Fry,"Back in my day we didn't have your fancy all-digital weapons, but we still managed to kill each other just fine."
Fry,"Back in my day we didn't have your fancy all-digital weapons, but we still managed to kill each other just fine.",Bender,"Ah, the crossbow. A pitiless, elegant killing machine. The Bender of the 15th century."
Bender,"Ah, the crossbow. A pitiless, elegant killing machine. The Bender of the 15th century.",Fry,Not big enough. We need something that can take out an entire army. Something you could commit a war crime with--
Fry,Not big enough. We need something that can take out an entire army. Something you could commit a war crime with--,Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Ambassador,"Mervin: Earth slaves, behold the fruit of your labours: The Mobile Oppression Palace."
Ambassador,"Mervin: Earth slaves, behold the fruit of your labours: The Mobile Oppression Palace.",Bender,Neat!
Bender,Neat!,Ambassador,"Mervin Warships, dismissed!"
Ambassador,"Mervin Warships, dismissed!",Old,Man Waterfall My spirit!
Old,Man Waterfall My spirit!,Frieda,Waterfall Another victim of the mano-centric male-ocracy.
Frieda,Waterfall Another victim of the mano-centric male-ocracy.,Zoidberg,"Ambassador Mervin, you killed my lawyer."
Zoidberg,"Ambassador Mervin, you killed my lawyer.",Ambassador,Mervin: You're welcome.
Ambassador,Mervin: You're welcome.,Zoidberg,He defended my freedom when no one else would. He was a good and honourable man.
Zoidberg,He defended my freedom when no one else would. He was a good and honourable man.,Old,Man Waterfall: I request a Satanic funeral.
Old,Man Waterfall: I request a Satanic funeral.,Zoidberg,Is it possible that all this slavery and oppression is shmutzing up our freedom lesson?
Zoidberg,Is it possible that all this slavery and oppression is shmutzing up our freedom lesson?,Ambassador,Mervin Begin again with the crushing!
Ambassador,Mervin Begin again with the crushing!,Fry,"to a museum, much less steal this ancient heat-seeking missile."
Fry,"to a museum, much less steal this ancient heat-seeking missile.",Ambassador,Mervin: I don't even know you.
Ambassador,Mervin: I don't even know you.,Decapodian,"Woman: Oh, it's gonna make such a mess!"
Decapodian,"Woman: Oh, it's gonna make such a mess!",Ambassador,"Mervin: This is your secret plan? Meh! Heat-seeking missiles are useless against the Mobile Oppression Palace. All Decapodian technology is cold-blooded, like us!"
Ambassador,"Mervin: This is your secret plan? Meh! Heat-seeking missiles are useless against the Mobile Oppression Palace. All Decapodian technology is cold-blooded, like us!",Zoidberg,Ew!
Zoidberg,Ew!,Bender,"Hey, I need that to smoke!"
Bender,"Hey, I need that to smoke!",Fry,"Zoidberg, how could you? I used to think you were cool."
Fry,"Zoidberg, how could you? I used to think you were cool.",Zoidberg,"Wait! People of Earth, listen. Yes, I'm desecrating a flag. But to preserve the freedom it represents!"
Zoidberg,"Wait! People of Earth, listen. Yes, I'm desecrating a flag. But to preserve the freedom it represents!",Leela,"Zoidberg, you set us free! I feel like I could stand to hug you! I can't, but you know what I'm trying to say."
Leela,"Zoidberg, you set us free! I feel like I could stand to hug you! I can't, but you know what I'm trying to say.",Crowd,Zoidberg! Zoidberg! Zoidberg!
Crowd,Zoidberg! Zoidberg! Zoidberg!,Zoidberg,my home planet.
Zoidberg,my home planet.,Nixon,"And now, to raise this beautiful new flag, a red lobster that won't ruin your dinner, Dr. John Zoidberg!"
Nixon,"And now, to raise this beautiful new flag, a red lobster that won't ruin your dinner, Dr. John Zoidberg!",Zoidberg,"You're a nice man, Nixon."
Zoidberg,"You're a nice man, Nixon.",Scoop,"Chang: Dr. Zoidberg, how's about you take a bite of the flag for tomorrow's papers?"
Scoop,"Chang: Dr. Zoidberg, how's about you take a bite of the flag for tomorrow's papers?",Zoidberg,"Oh, I couldn't."
Zoidberg,"Oh, I couldn't.",Nixon,"No, no, no, go ahead. You've earned it!"
Nixon,"No, no, no, go ahead. You've earned it!",Zoidberg,I wonder what the Shroud of Turin tastes like.
Zoidberg,I wonder what the Shroud of Turin tastes like.,John,DiMaggio
John,DiMaggio,Farnsworth,"Oh, my."
Farnsworth,"Oh, my.",Bender,"Here we go, y'all!"
Bender,"Here we go, y'all!",Bender,This is a story about all my friends!
Bender,This is a story about all my friends!,Farnsworth,Fry?
Farnsworth,Fry?,Fry,Unh!!
Fry,Unh!!,Farnsworth,Fry?
Farnsworth,Fry?,Antonio,"I'm sorry, Father. But, somewhere along the way, I forgot how to be your son."
Antonio,"I'm sorry, Father. But, somewhere along the way, I forgot how to be your son.",Calculon,"Why, Antonio?"
Calculon,"Why, Antonio?",Antonio,Because ... I have amnesia!
Antonio,Because ... I have amnesia!,Monique,Calculon? But I thought you were--
Monique,Calculon? But I thought you were--,Calculon,Egyptian?
Calculon,Egyptian?,Monique,"Before I kill you, I must ask you one question: Who am I? For I have ... amnesia!"
Monique,"Before I kill you, I must ask you one question: Who am I? For I have ... amnesia!",Calculon,have amnesia?
Calculon,have amnesia?,Monique,Not sure.
Monique,Not sure.,Human,Friend: I 'unno.
Human,Friend: I 'unno.,Cubert!,When I grow up I'm gonna have so much amnesia!
Cubert!,When I grow up I'm gonna have so much amnesia!,Dwight,"Me too. I mean, I have it now, but I forgot."
Dwight,"Me too. I mean, I have it now, but I forgot.",Cubert,"Well, mine's louder!"
Cubert,"Well, mine's louder!",Bender,Sorry!
Bender,Sorry!,Fry,"Nah, I had it coming."
Fry,"Nah, I had it coming.",Calculon,"Welcome, swingers. Pull up a groove and get fabulous."
Calculon,"Welcome, swingers. Pull up a groove and get fabulous.",Monique,"Nude rocks bands, big piles of what I assume is talcum powder. It's quite a birthday party, Calculon."
Monique,"Nude rocks bands, big piles of what I assume is talcum powder. It's quite a birthday party, Calculon.",Cubert,Cool! I'm gonna have a fabulatious birthday party just like Calculon!
Cubert,Cool! I'm gonna have a fabulatious birthday party just like Calculon!,Dwight,"Oh, yeah? Well I'm gonna show up looking good, just like Monique."
Dwight,"Oh, yeah? Well I'm gonna show up looking good, just like Monique.",Leela,Do you two have to imitate everything you see on TV?
Leela,Do you two have to imitate everything you see on TV?,Cubert,"Um, we're 12. So, yes."
Cubert,"Um, we're 12. So, yes.",Dwight,"Hold up, Cubert. You're a clone of the Professor. Do clones even have birthdays?"
Dwight,"Hold up, Cubert. You're a clone of the Professor. Do clones even have birthdays?",Cubert,"Um, duh!"
Cubert,"Um, duh!",Dwight,Duh what?
Dwight,Duh what?,Cubert,Dad? Do I have a birthday?
Cubert,Dad? Do I have a birthday?,Farnsworth,"Oh, don't feel bad. We can celebrate the day I extracted you from the cloning tank, or the day I scraped your DNA from that growth on my back."
Farnsworth,"Oh, don't feel bad. We can celebrate the day I extracted you from the cloning tank, or the day I scraped your DNA from that growth on my back.",Cubert,Ooh! That one!
Cubert,Ooh! That one!,Farnsworth,I used this very fork.
Farnsworth,I used this very fork.,Hermes,"Aw, well isn't that-- Ew!"
Hermes,"Aw, well isn't that-- Ew!",Dwight,Hey! Next week'll be my birthday too.
Dwight,Hey! Next week'll be my birthday too.,Hermes,That's true. If only there were a way to have one party for both of you here at the office then write it off as a business expense. Wait! I thought of a way! The way I just said!
Hermes,That's true. If only there were a way to have one party for both of you here at the office then write it off as a business expense. Wait! I thought of a way! The way I just said!,Cubert,Yeah!
Cubert,Yeah!,Dwight,"Way to go, Pops!"
Dwight,"Way to go, Pops!",Bender,Something's happening on television.
Bender,Something's happening on television.,Calculon,"Oh, Monique, why did we wait so many years to bathe in champagne?"
Calculon,"Oh, Monique, why did we wait so many years to bathe in champagne?",Antonio,"Father, I've discovered the shocking secret mother has kept from you for 200 years."
Antonio,"Father, I've discovered the shocking secret mother has kept from you for 200 years.",Antonio,"amnesia. For you see, the horrible secret is--"
Antonio,"amnesia. For you see, the horrible secret is--",Bender,Whoever's directing this is a master of suspense!
Bender,Whoever's directing this is a master of suspense!,Sal,He's busteds. Let's get hims outta heres.
Sal,He's busteds. Let's get hims outta heres.,Fry,This show's been going downhill since season three.
Fry,This show's been going downhill since season three.,Zoidberg,"Look who's here, everyone! It's Zoidberg, the lovable tramp!"
Zoidberg,"Look who's here, everyone! It's Zoidberg, the lovable tramp!",Leela,Since when are you performing at children's parties?
Leela,Since when are you performing at children's parties?,Zoidberg,"Performing? What? Please, if someone could spare me money to buy shoes--"
Zoidberg,"Performing? What? Please, if someone could spare me money to buy shoes--",Dwight,This party pukes.
Dwight,This party pukes.,Cubert,Yeah! The guests were supposed to be here three hours ago.
Cubert,Yeah! The guests were supposed to be here three hours ago.,Farnsworth,"Well, that doesn't mean that no one is coming or that you two are total losers. Who gave you that idea?"
Farnsworth,"Well, that doesn't mean that no one is coming or that you two are total losers. Who gave you that idea?",Dwight,Alright! They must have all come as a group.
Dwight,Alright! They must have all come as a group.,Cubert,"Welcome, swingers! Pull up a groove and get fabulous."
Cubert,"Welcome, swingers! Pull up a groove and get fabulous.",Tinny,"Tim: Good day, fellows. Someone dumped this invitation in my begging cup. Happy growth-scraping day to all!"
Tinny,"Tim: Good day, fellows. Someone dumped this invitation in my begging cup. Happy growth-scraping day to all!",Hermes,Fire 'em all.
Hermes,Fire 'em all.,Farnsworth,Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
Farnsworth,Mm-hm. Mm-hm.,Bender,Guys! Guys! Something's happening on television again.
Bender,Guys! Guys! Something's happening on television again.,Morbo.,"Across the galaxy, my people are completing the mighty space fleet that will exterminate the human race! But first, this news from Tinseltown."
Morbo.,"Across the galaxy, my people are completing the mighty space fleet that will exterminate the human race! But first, this news from Tinseltown.",Linda,will hold an open casting call for child robots to replace him.
Linda,will hold an open casting call for child robots to replace him.,Bender,"An open casting call for child robots? Tinny Tim, are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"
Bender,"An open casting call for child robots? Tinny Tim, are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?",Tinny,"Tim: What's that, sir?"
Tinny,"Tim: What's that, sir?",Bender,"That I, Bender, am perfect for the role!"
Bender,"That I, Bender, am perfect for the role!",Tinny,Tim Bravo!
Tinny,Tim Bravo!,Leela,"Bender, your swarthy Latin charm will only get you so far. There's a lot of famous child acting units here."
Leela,"Bender, your swarthy Latin charm will only get you so far. There's a lot of famous child acting units here.",Leela,He's just not cute since he got puberty installed.
Leela,He's just not cute since he got puberty installed.,Fry,Pst. There's that robot child actor who grew up and robbed a convenience store!
Fry,Pst. There's that robot child actor who grew up and robbed a convenience store!,Leela,a convenience store!
Leela,a convenience store!,Robber-bot,"Lottery ticket, please."
Robber-bot,"Lottery ticket, please.",Casting,Director Emotitron Jr.?
Casting,Director Emotitron Jr.?,Mombot,No more hanging wires!
Mombot,No more hanging wires!,Casting,"Director: In this scene, you've just found out your real father is Calculon's fourth evil identical septuplet, Sleazy Martinez. OK ... take us there!"
Casting,"Director: In this scene, you've just found out your real father is Calculon's fourth evil identical septuplet, Sleazy Martinez. OK ... take us there!",Emotitron,"Jr.: Now that I know the truth, Father, I must ride south and join the robo-bandidos at Veracruz."
Emotitron,"Jr.: Now that I know the truth, Father, I must ride south and join the robo-bandidos at Veracruz.",Bender,Awful! Boo! This kid sucks! We want Bender! Boo!
Bender,Awful! Boo! This kid sucks! We want Bender! Boo!,Calculon,"Well, I thought he was good but the audience seems to have turned on him."
Calculon,"Well, I thought he was good but the audience seems to have turned on him.",Casting,Director: But I don't think--
Casting,Director: But I don't think--,Calculon,Next!
Calculon,Next!,Macaulay,"Culkon: --At Veracruz. So, if you'll kindly hand me my poncho--"
Macaulay,"Culkon: --At Veracruz. So, if you'll kindly hand me my poncho--",Bender,Boo! Bring on Bender! Boo! Bender's the greatest!
Bender,Boo! Bring on Bender! Boo! Bender's the greatest!,Calculon,I keep hearing about. They say he's the greatest.
Calculon,I keep hearing about. They say he's the greatest.,Casting,"Director: Well, there is a robot named Bender here but he's much too old for--"
Casting,"Director: Well, there is a robot named Bender here but he's much too old for--",Calculon,Send him in forthwith!
Calculon,Send him in forthwith!,Bender,Boo! Not as good as Bender! Boo!
Bender,Boo! Not as good as Bender! Boo!,Casting,Director: Mr. Bender?
Casting,Director: Mr. Bender?,Casting,Director: Have you ever been on TV before?
Casting,Director: Have you ever been on TV before?,Bender,"Once, when I took those hostages."
Bender,"Once, when I took those hostages.",Calculon,I saw that! You were good. Let's hear you audition.
Calculon,I saw that! You were good. Let's hear you audition.,Bender,by the El Rio!
Bender,by the El Rio!,Calculon,That was so terrible I think you gave me cancer! I don't care how popular you are. You will never work on my show!
Calculon,That was so terrible I think you gave me cancer! I don't care how popular you are. You will never work on my show!,Fry,"Yay, Bender!"
Fry,"Yay, Bender!",Leela,We demand Bender!
Leela,We demand Bender!,Bender,Father-o!
Bender,Father-o!,Calculon,... whose name I never learned.
Calculon,... whose name I never learned.,Bender,Yo! I read the script and I think it would help my character's motivation if he was on fire.
Bender,Yo! I read the script and I think it would help my character's motivation if he was on fire.,Director,"Uh, don't worry about the script, baby. We re-wrote your part to better suit your acting abilities."
Director,"Uh, don't worry about the script, baby. We re-wrote your part to better suit your acting abilities.",Bender,accent?
Bender,accent?,Director,And ... action!
Director,And ... action!,Bender,Stupid dumb coma ... coulda been British.
Bender,Stupid dumb coma ... coulda been British.,Calculon,"Alas that mine only son should sink into an irreversible, permanent ... coma."
Calculon,"Alas that mine only son should sink into an irreversible, permanent ... coma.",Bender,Permanent? That's completely out of character for Antonio. I'm gettin' up.
Bender,Permanent? That's completely out of character for Antonio. I'm gettin' up.,Calculon,Curse the tragic wildebeest accident that--
Calculon,Curse the tragic wildebeest accident that--,Bender,Come on!
Bender,Come on!,Calculon,I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing.
Calculon,I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing.,Bender,"Ooh, yeah! C'mon, baby! Come on! Yeah!"
Bender,"Ooh, yeah! C'mon, baby! Come on! Yeah!",Director,That's the worst coma acting I've ever seen. We'll have to shoot it again.
Director,That's the worst coma acting I've ever seen. We'll have to shoot it again.,Calculon,"No! No, no, no. I don't do two takes."
Calculon,"No! No, no, no. I don't do two takes.",Director,But this guy was--
Director,But this guy was--,Calculon,take. Print it. I'll be in my three-storey trailer.
Calculon,take. Print it. I'll be in my three-storey trailer.,Bender,"Ooh, yeah! C'mon, baby! Come on! Yeah!"
Bender,"Ooh, yeah! C'mon, baby! Come on! Yeah!",Bender,"Pretty good, eh, Calcky?"
Bender,"Pretty good, eh, Calcky?",Calculon,I don't even remember shooting this scene.
Calculon,I don't even remember shooting this scene.,Director,We didn't. That's security camera footage from your dressing room.
Director,We didn't. That's security camera footage from your dressing room.,Calculon,my money? That's it! I demand you fire this felonious ham!
Calculon,my money? That's it! I demand you fire this felonious ham!,Director,The network Execubots are coming!
Director,The network Execubots are coming!,Calculon,"Oh, dear God!"
Calculon,"Oh, dear God!",Betabot,Presenting the president of the network.
Betabot,Presenting the president of the network.,Network,"President: Greetings, gentlemen. You already know my Execubots: Executive Alpha, programmed to like things it has seen before."
Network,"President: Greetings, gentlemen. You already know my Execubots: Executive Alpha, programmed to like things it has seen before.",Alphabot,"Hey, hey, hey."
Alphabot,"Hey, hey, hey.",Network,"President: Executive Beta, programmed to roll dice to determine the fall schedule."
Network,"President: Executive Beta, programmed to roll dice to determine the fall schedule.",Betabot,More reality shows.
Betabot,More reality shows.,Network,"President: And Executive Gamma, programmed to underestimate middle America."
Network,"President: And Executive Gamma, programmed to underestimate middle America.",Gammabot,It's funny but is it going to get them off their tractors?
Gammabot,It's funny but is it going to get them off their tractors?,Network,"President: Now, who put this obnoxious, dancing robot on my network?"
Network,"President: Now, who put this obnoxious, dancing robot on my network?",Director,"We were about to fire him, sir."
Director,"We were about to fire him, sir.",Network,"President: Silence, hack! We've been monitoring our Nielsen families carefully. And during the 12 seconds Bender was on screen, viewer eyeball focus was up 90%."
Network,"President: Silence, hack! We've been monitoring our Nielsen families carefully. And during the 12 seconds Bender was on screen, viewer eyeball focus was up 90%.",Calculon,"But, sir, children watch this show. Bender's no role model, he's a filth monger!"
Calculon,"But, sir, children watch this show. Bender's no role model, he's a filth monger!",Network,President Bite my shiny metal ass could be a catchphrase.
Network,President Bite my shiny metal ass could be a catchphrase.,Alphabot,80% likely.
Alphabot,80% likely.,Betabot,Gameshows are back.
Betabot,Gameshows are back.,Network,"President: We need this edgy, sweeps-ready robot on our network. Bender? Can you continue to drink, smoke and steal things on TV?"
Network,"President: We need this edgy, sweeps-ready robot on our network. Bender? Can you continue to drink, smoke and steal things on TV?",Bender,"Yes, I can."
Bender,"Yes, I can.",Tinny,Tim: Yeah! Shooting!
Tinny,Tim: Yeah! Shooting!,Dwight,Alright!
Dwight,Alright!,Dwight,Yo! Check out what I jacked from my dad.
Dwight,Yo! Check out what I jacked from my dad.,Cubert,A cigar!
Cubert,A cigar!,Tinny,Tim: Ripping!
Tinny,Tim: Ripping!,Dwight,Look! I'm Bender!
Dwight,Look! I'm Bender!,Hermes,Ras H. Tafari! What's goin' on here?
Hermes,Ras H. Tafari! What's goin' on here?,Farnsworth,The ruffians smoked one of your cigars.
Farnsworth,The ruffians smoked one of your cigars.,Hermes,That's not a cigar. Uh ... and it's not mine!
Hermes,That's not a cigar. Uh ... and it's not mine!,Cubert,"Hey, Dad! Bite my shiny metal ass!"
Cubert,"Hey, Dad! Bite my shiny metal ass!",Farnsworth,What? Such an act would be most uncomfortable for both of us! Where did you learn such language?
Farnsworth,What? Such an act would be most uncomfortable for both of us! Where did you learn such language?,Tinny,"Tim: From Bender, my good jerkwad."
Tinny,"Tim: From Bender, my good jerkwad.",Hermes,"Bender, eh? That guy's really startin' to twist my dreads."
Hermes,"Bender, eh? That guy's really startin' to twist my dreads.",Bender,"OK, OK, OK. Get ready for this part."
Bender,"OK, OK, OK. Get ready for this part.",Zoidberg,"Quiet, robot! Bender's on TV."
Zoidberg,"Quiet, robot! Bender's on TV.",Monique,"Oh, Calculon, it's so good to get away from the city and that beastly, yet intriguing, Bender."
Monique,"Oh, Calculon, it's so good to get away from the city and that beastly, yet intriguing, Bender.",Bender,"Try this, kids at home!"
Bender,"Try this, kids at home!",Linda,Is television sensation Bender a bad role model for Earth children?
Linda,Is television sensation Bender a bad role model for Earth children?,Bender,That's crazy!
Bender,That's crazy!,Linda,"A new protest group, Fathers Against Rude Television, says Hell, yes!"
Linda,"A new protest group, Fathers Against Rude Television, says Hell, yes!",Fry,Pft! What kind of bozos would start a Bender protest group?
Fry,Pft! What kind of bozos would start a Bender protest group?,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone. Hermes and I have started a Bender protest group."
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone. Hermes and I have started a Bender protest group.",Zoidberg,That was uncanny.
Zoidberg,That was uncanny.,Hermes,Fathers Against Rude Television don't want our kids watching Bender's high-definition filth.
Hermes,Fathers Against Rude Television don't want our kids watching Bender's high-definition filth.,Farnsworth,And for what? Some kind of cheap laugh? That's not what F-A-R-T is all about.
Farnsworth,And for what? Some kind of cheap laugh? That's not what F-A-R-T is all about.,Hermes,"No, sir! Not us FARTers."
Hermes,"No, sir! Not us FARTers.",Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't censor me just 'cause I'm an obscenely bad role model."
Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't censor me just 'cause I'm an obscenely bad role model.",Leela,"As unclean as it makes me feel, I agree with Bender. Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV."
Leela,"As unclean as it makes me feel, I agree with Bender. Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV.",Fry,Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.
Fry,Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.,Cubert,"Our dads are all pumped up on dork-osterone. We're just trying to be cool, like Bender."
Cubert,"Our dads are all pumped up on dork-osterone. We're just trying to be cool, like Bender.",Dwight,"Yeah, and it's not even working. Smoking and drinking make us barf."
Dwight,"Yeah, and it's not even working. Smoking and drinking make us barf.",Tinny,Tim: Gentle jerkwads. I know how to emulate Bender without barfing. We could commit a burglary.
Tinny,Tim: Gentle jerkwads. I know how to emulate Bender without barfing. We could commit a burglary.,Dwight,"Hey, yeah!"
Dwight,"Hey, yeah!",Cubert,Bender loves to burgle!
Cubert,Bender loves to burgle!,Dwight,"Hold up, though. Who could we rob? We don't even know anyone with cool stuff."
Dwight,"Hold up, though. Who could we rob? We don't even know anyone with cool stuff.",Cubert,Duh! We know someone who runs on pure cool fuel: Bender!
Cubert,Duh! We know someone who runs on pure cool fuel: Bender!,Dwight,Whoa!
Dwight,Whoa!,Tinny,Tim: We'll rob Bender!
Tinny,Tim: We'll rob Bender!,Dwight,TV gave us the idea.
Dwight,TV gave us the idea.,"Bender,",the show that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery.
"Bender,",the show that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery.,Cubert,time.
Cubert,time.,Fry,"Hey, Bender."
Fry,"Hey, Bender.",Farnsworth,outraged.
Farnsworth,outraged.,"Hermes,",what are you doing here?
"Hermes,",what are you doing here?,Zoidberg,I'm networking. Let me give you my card.
Zoidberg,I'm networking. Let me give you my card.,Cubert,"Relax, Dad. We just invited a few friends over."
Cubert,"Relax, Dad. We just invited a few friends over.",Farnsworth,friends!
Farnsworth,friends!,Hermes,cool all of a sudden?
Hermes,cool all of a sudden?,Dwight,"Um ... we're just cool, is all!"
Dwight,"Um ... we're just cool, is all!",Farnsworth,"Balderdash! I'll be the judge of who's cool, using the cool-o-meter!"
Farnsworth,"Balderdash! I'll be the judge of who's cool, using the cool-o-meter!",Cool-o-Meter,"Oh, yeah!"
Cool-o-Meter,"Oh, yeah!",Farnsworth,Good Lord! I'm getting a reading of over 40 mega-Fonzies.
Farnsworth,Good Lord! I'm getting a reading of over 40 mega-Fonzies.,Hermes,Everybody out!
Hermes,Everybody out!,Zoidberg,"So, do you guys know about anything else going on, because I'm totally still ready to party."
Zoidberg,"So, do you guys know about anything else going on, because I'm totally still ready to party.",Hermes,There's enough cool stuff here to furnish a happenin' pad. Where did it all come from?
Hermes,There's enough cool stuff here to furnish a happenin' pad. Where did it all come from?,Tinny,"Tim: Don't tell, comrades. All for one and one for all!"
Tinny,"Tim: Don't tell, comrades. All for one and one for all!",Dwight,We stole it!
Dwight,We stole it!,Tinny,"Tim: Oh, crumb!"
Tinny,"Tim: Oh, crumb!",Bender,What? What's going on?
Bender,What? What's going on?,Farnsworth,I'll tell you what. Our boys have taken up stealing! One of the worst and coolest of crimes.
Farnsworth,I'll tell you what. Our boys have taken up stealing! One of the worst and coolest of crimes.,Hermes,"And all from watching you on TV, you cool jerk."
Hermes,"And all from watching you on TV, you cool jerk.",Bender,That's the last straw! Bender should not be allowed on television!
Bender,That's the last straw! Bender should not be allowed on television!,Bender,Come on! We're gonna march all the way to Hollywood and make them stop forcing their filthy me down our throats!
Bender,Come on! We're gonna march all the way to Hollywood and make them stop forcing their filthy me down our throats!,FART,Mob: Down with Bender! Down with Bender! Down with Bender! Down with Bender!
FART,Mob: Down with Bender! Down with Bender! Down with Bender! Down with Bender!,Bender,This mob's with me.
Bender,This mob's with me.,Security,Guard: Go ahead.
Security,Guard: Go ahead.,FART,Mob Bender! Down with Bender!
FART,Mob Bender! Down with Bender!,Calculon,"As a doctor and captain of this hospital ship, I now pronounce you man and wife with six months to live."
Calculon,"As a doctor and captain of this hospital ship, I now pronounce you man and wife with six months to live.",Farnsworth,"Listen up, Hollywood. We're an exciting, new mob."
Farnsworth,"Listen up, Hollywood. We're an exciting, new mob.",Bender,Yeah!
Bender,Yeah!,Hermes,You'd better believe it!
Hermes,You'd better believe it!,Calculon,Great Shatner's ghost!
Calculon,Great Shatner's ghost!,Bender,We demand that all TV's be equipped with a B-Chip that blocks Bender from appearing on the screen.
Bender,We demand that all TV's be equipped with a B-Chip that blocks Bender from appearing on the screen.,Farnsworth,Booya!
Farnsworth,Booya!,Network,"President: I'm afraid the answer is a gritty, in-your-face no."
Network,"President: I'm afraid the answer is a gritty, in-your-face no.",Bender,Then I quit.
Bender,Then I quit.,Network,"President I think you'll be finishing the scene now, Mr. Bender. And don't skimp on the nasty."
Network,"President I think you'll be finishing the scene now, Mr. Bender. And don't skimp on the nasty.",Hermes,What makes you think that'll work?
Hermes,What makes you think that'll work?,Farnsworth,I saw it on TV in that episode where Bender shot Calculon. How cool was that?
Farnsworth,I saw it on TV in that episode where Bender shot Calculon. How cool was that?,Bender,"Ooh, yeah! C'mon--"
Bender,"Ooh, yeah! C'mon--",Farnsworth,Quit the show!
Farnsworth,Quit the show!,Network,President: Do the scene.
Network,President: Do the scene.,Farnsworth,I'm a cold-blooded punk!
Farnsworth,I'm a cold-blooded punk!,Network,President: I once put a laugh track on a sitcom that had no jokes in it.
Network,President: I once put a laugh track on a sitcom that had no jokes in it.,Bender,"Hey, look! The prop guy has a lamp!"
Bender,"Hey, look! The prop guy has a lamp!",Network,President: Really?
Network,President: Really?,Farnsworth,Wha?
Farnsworth,Wha?,Bender,Aha!
Bender,Aha!,Farnsworth,I was using that!
Farnsworth,I was using that!,Bender,"Listen up, 'cause I've got a climactic speech! You, cameraman, keep the camera rolling. You, director, gimmie my motivation."
Bender,"Listen up, 'cause I've got a climactic speech! You, cameraman, keep the camera rolling. You, director, gimmie my motivation.",Director,You're angry.
Director,You're angry.,Bender,"And so I ask you this one question: Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?"
Bender,"And so I ask you this one question: Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?",Hermes,We're just so busy.
Hermes,We're just so busy.,Bender,Well make time.
Bender,Well make time.,Director,And ... cut!
Director,And ... cut!,Calculon,Good enough. Splice in some reaction shots of me and shove it on the air.
Calculon,Good enough. Splice in some reaction shots of me and shove it on the air.,Bender,": Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?"
Bender,": Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?",Hermes,"Well, I'd say we all learned a valuable lesson about TV there."
Hermes,"Well, I'd say we all learned a valuable lesson about TV there.",Cubert,What was it?
Cubert,What was it?,Farnsworth,"Uh ... that we should all take TV a little less seriously. And more importantly, turn it off once in a while."
Farnsworth,"Uh ... that we should all take TV a little less seriously. And more importantly, turn it off once in a while.",Fry,"Hear, hear!"
Fry,"Hear, hear!",Leela,Yeah!
Leela,Yeah!,Bender,Damn right!
Bender,Damn right!,Dwight,"So, should we turn it off now?"
Dwight,"So, should we turn it off now?",Farnsworth,"Well, uh, that depends what's on."
Farnsworth,"Well, uh, that depends what's on.",Fry,Nothing good.
Fry,Nothing good.,Farnsworth,"Ah, let's just keep watching."
Farnsworth,"Ah, let's just keep watching.",Bender,TV party tonight!
Bender,TV party tonight!,Farnsworth,Wha?
Farnsworth,Wha?,Bender,TV party tonight!
Bender,TV party tonight!,Farnsworth,Oh!
Farnsworth,Oh!,Fry,We've got nothing better to do.
Fry,We've got nothing better to do.,Leela,Than watch TV and have a couple of brews!
Leela,Than watch TV and have a couple of brews!,Zoidberg,Don't wanna talk about anything else.
Zoidberg,Don't wanna talk about anything else.,Fry,We don't wanna know!
Fry,We don't wanna know!,Farnsworth,"We're dedicated, yes!"
Farnsworth,"We're dedicated, yes!",Hermes,To our favourite shows!
Hermes,To our favourite shows!,Leela,Blernsday Night Blernsball!
Leela,Blernsday Night Blernsball!,Bender,"Behold, the milk has vanished! Exiled, perhaps, to another dimension!"
Bender,"Behold, the milk has vanished! Exiled, perhaps, to another dimension!",Fry,Amazing! That's why they call you Bender the Magnificent!
Fry,Amazing! That's why they call you Bender the Magnificent!,Bender,"No, it isn't."
Bender,"No, it isn't.",Fry,"Whoa! They discovered an intact, 20th century pizzeria, just like the one I used to work at."
Fry,"Whoa! They discovered an intact, 20th century pizzeria, just like the one I used to work at.",Bender,"Interesting. No, wait, the other thing ... tedious."
Bender,"Interesting. No, wait, the other thing ... tedious.",Fry,Let's go check it out. You can see how I lived before I met you.
Fry,Let's go check it out. You can see how I lived before I met you.,Bender,You lived before you met me?
Bender,You lived before you met me?,Fry,Sure. Lots of people did.
Fry,Sure. Lots of people did.,Bender,Really?
Bender,Really?,Bender,"Truly, they were as gods who built this place!"
Bender,"Truly, they were as gods who built this place!",Tour,Guide Scientists theorise it was used to gently discipline the delivery boy.
Tour,Guide Scientists theorise it was used to gently discipline the delivery boy.,Fry,"And for your information, lady, this was not just used to paddle my butt. It was also used to move pizzas and crush rats."
Fry,"And for your information, lady, this was not just used to paddle my butt. It was also used to move pizzas and crush rats.",Tour,"Guide: I don't know where you get your facts, sir, but I am a volunteer housewife with 45 minutes of orientation and a Harlequin romance about archaeologists."
Tour,"Guide: I don't know where you get your facts, sir, but I am a volunteer housewife with 45 minutes of orientation and a Harlequin romance about archaeologists.",Fry,"Petrified sausages, old Mr. Patelli. And that's--"
Fry,"Petrified sausages, old Mr. Patelli. And that's--",Man,Yes?
Man,Yes?,Fry,... Seymour Asses.
Fry,... Seymour Asses.,Man,There's no one by that name here ... or anywhere. I hope that in time you'll realise what an idiot you've been.
Man,There's no one by that name here ... or anywhere. I hope that in time you'll realise what an idiot you've been.,Fry,I wouldn't count on that.
Fry,I wouldn't count on that.,Bender,Yuck! That's the least appetising calzone I've ever seen!
Bender,Yuck! That's the least appetising calzone I've ever seen!,Fry,Uh-oh!
Fry,Uh-oh!,Bender,"And then he was ejected by the guards. Needless to say, I was mortified."
Bender,"And then he was ejected by the guards. Needless to say, I was mortified.",Fry,Well it's not right to make my dead pet an exhibit. That's like digging up Lassie and putting her on display in the Louvre.
Fry,Well it's not right to make my dead pet an exhibit. That's like digging up Lassie and putting her on display in the Louvre.,Amy,on display in the Louvre.
Amy,on display in the Louvre.,Fry,I know. I was deliberately describing a similar situation.
Fry,I know. I was deliberately describing a similar situation.,Farnsworth,Why don't you try protesting? Like those native Martians; always whining that people don't treat their ancestor's bones with respect.
Farnsworth,Why don't you try protesting? Like those native Martians; always whining that people don't treat their ancestor's bones with respect.,Bender,"Nah, protesting never works."
Bender,"Nah, protesting never works.",Fry,I'll give it a shot!
Fry,I'll give it a shot!,Crowd,What do you want?
Crowd,What do you want?,Fry,Fry's dog!
Fry,Fry's dog!,Crowd,When do you want it?
Crowd,When do you want it?,Fry,I will now perform my people's native dance.
Fry,I will now perform my people's native dance.,Leela,implores the gods to grant a favour. Usually a Trans-AM.
Leela,implores the gods to grant a favour. Usually a Trans-AM.,Fry,"That a boy, Seymour! Right here waiting for me as always. Just like that huge mushroom in my shower."
Fry,"That a boy, Seymour! Right here waiting for me as always. Just like that huge mushroom in my shower.",Panucci,"Fry, cleanup!"
Panucci,"Fry, cleanup!",Fry,Good dog!
Fry,Good dog!,Panucci,That's a good Seymour!
Panucci,That's a good Seymour!,Boy,Yo! There's dog fur on my slice!
Boy,Yo! There's dog fur on my slice!,Panucci,"Nah, that's vermicelli! No fur in here!"
Panucci,"Nah, that's vermicelli! No fur in here!",Fry,"He's so cute! He can do two things at one time: Eat and swim. Ooh, three things!"
Fry,"He's so cute! He can do two things at one time: Eat and swim. Ooh, three things!",Leela,"Fry, it's been three days. You can't keep boogie-ing like this. You'll come down with a fever of some sort."
Leela,"Fry, it's been three days. You can't keep boogie-ing like this. You'll come down with a fever of some sort.",Ben,"Beeler: Mr. Fry? I'm Dr. Ben Beeler, the palaeontologist who discovered your dog. Or as some call it, the Beelersaurus."
Ben,"Beeler: Mr. Fry? I'm Dr. Ben Beeler, the palaeontologist who discovered your dog. Or as some call it, the Beelersaurus.",Fry,So do I get Seymour back? Are you caving to political pressure?
Fry,So do I get Seymour back? Are you caving to political pressure?,Beeler,"No, we're sorry but there's just too much that fossil can teach us about dogs from your time."
Beeler,"No, we're sorry but there's just too much that fossil can teach us about dogs from your time.",Fry,"His name was Seymour. He was once intimate with the leg of a wandering saxophonist. He had wet dog smell, even when dry. And he was not above chasing the number 29 bus."
Fry,"His name was Seymour. He was once intimate with the leg of a wandering saxophonist. He had wet dog smell, even when dry. And he was not above chasing the number 29 bus.",Ray,The 29? Interesting.
Ray,The 29? Interesting.,Beeler,That's all I needed. Ray?
Beeler,That's all I needed. Ray?,Ray,I'm good.
Ray,I'm good.,Beeler,OK then. Here's your dog back.
Beeler,OK then. Here's your dog back.,Fry,Seymour!
Fry,Seymour!,Bender,Lady and gentleman! How 'bout a hand for my temporary replacement assistant?
Bender,Lady and gentleman! How 'bout a hand for my temporary replacement assistant?,Zoidberg,I was all in this part! It's magic!
Zoidberg,I was all in this part! It's magic!,Bender,You are not fit to wear Fry's leotard!
Bender,You are not fit to wear Fry's leotard!,Zoidberg,Stop!
Zoidberg,Stop!,Fry,"Good news, everyone!"
Fry,"Good news, everyone!",Bender,"Hooray, he's back! And he's looking for a garbage can to put the rock in! Here you go, buddy!"
Bender,"Hooray, he's back! And he's looking for a garbage can to put the rock in! Here you go, buddy!",Farnsworth,"No. Actually we've discovered that Fry's dog was fast-fossilised, preserving it's cellular structure!"
Farnsworth,"No. Actually we've discovered that Fry's dog was fast-fossilised, preserving it's cellular structure!",Fry,Which means we can clone it! Seymour will live again!
Fry,Which means we can clone it! Seymour will live again!,Zoidberg,A little land mammal!
Zoidberg,A little land mammal!,Fry,"Can you believe it, Bender? I'm going to have my best friend back!"
Fry,"Can you believe it, Bender? I'm going to have my best friend back!",Cubert,Why the idiot convention?
Cubert,Why the idiot convention?,Farnsworth,"You see, beneath the fossil's crunchy, mineral shell, there's still a creamy core of dog nougat."
Farnsworth,"You see, beneath the fossil's crunchy, mineral shell, there's still a creamy core of dog nougat.",Farnsworth,"Amazingly, yes. In cases of rapid fossilisation, I can press this brain scan button, retrieving Seymour's memories at the precise instant of doggy death."
Farnsworth,"Amazingly, yes. In cases of rapid fossilisation, I can press this brain scan button, retrieving Seymour's memories at the precise instant of doggy death.",Fry,"I'm gonna get my puppy back! In your face, Grim Reaper!"
Fry,"I'm gonna get my puppy back! In your face, Grim Reaper!",Bender,Crappy ineffective Reaper!
Bender,Crappy ineffective Reaper!,Farnsworth,I just need to reset the Clone-O-Mat from Human Mode to Dog Mode.
Farnsworth,I just need to reset the Clone-O-Mat from Human Mode to Dog Mode.,Computer,Voice: The dog says--
Computer,Voice: The dog says--,Farnsworth,"Uh-oh, this may take a while."
Farnsworth,"Uh-oh, this may take a while.",Boy,"You stink, loser!"
Boy,"You stink, loser!",Panucci,"Hey, Fry. Pizza goin' out. C'mon!"
Panucci,"Hey, Fry. Pizza goin' out. C'mon!",Fry,But I'm celebrating New Year's Eve.
Fry,But I'm celebrating New Year's Eve.,Panucci,"What's with Seymour? It's like he don't want you to go. Or he thinks your pants is too short, or somethin'. Which is crazy 'cause, frankly, you look fabulous. Now get goin'!"
Panucci,"What's with Seymour? It's like he don't want you to go. Or he thinks your pants is too short, or somethin'. Which is crazy 'cause, frankly, you look fabulous. Now get goin'!",Fry,"I won't be gone long, Seymour. Just wait here till I come back."
Fry,"I won't be gone long, Seymour. Just wait here till I come back.",Fry,Here's to another lousy millennium.
Fry,Here's to another lousy millennium.,Crowd,"Five, four, three, two."
Crowd,"Five, four, three, two.",Fry,What the--?
Fry,What the--?,Bender,You shouldn't have!
Bender,You shouldn't have!,Fry,That's for Seymour.
Fry,That's for Seymour.,Bender,Oh.
Bender,Oh.,Bender,That's not a reputable journal of opinion.
Bender,That's not a reputable journal of opinion.,Fry,"Oh, that's also for Seymour. I'm getting everything ready for when he's cloned."
Fry,"Oh, that's also for Seymour. I'm getting everything ready for when he's cloned.",Bender,"Are you on the junk, Fry? Why are you wasting time on a creature of inferior intelligence?"
Bender,"Are you on the junk, Fry? Why are you wasting time on a creature of inferior intelligence?",Fry,"Hey, he was smart! He could fetch."
Fry,"Hey, he was smart! He could fetch.",Bender,I can fetch.
Bender,I can fetch.,Fry,He could dig up bones.
Fry,He could dig up bones.,Bender,"Plus, I bet he couldn't create a laser show with his head."
Bender,"Plus, I bet he couldn't create a laser show with his head.",Fry,"Look, Bender, this has nothing to do with you."
Fry,"Look, Bender, this has nothing to do with you.",Bender,That's impossible!
Bender,That's impossible!,Fry,"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm working on Seymour's doghouse."
Fry,"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm working on Seymour's doghouse.",Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Fry,"This is Fry. If you're calling about the used towels for sale, they're still available for $45 each."
Fry,"This is Fry. If you're calling about the used towels for sale, they're still available for $45 each.",Mr.,"Fry: Phil, it's your father. Where are you? You're holding up New Year's brunch. Your brother can't wait any longer."
Mr.,"Fry: Phil, it's your father. Where are you? You're holding up New Year's brunch. Your brother can't wait any longer.",Yancy,"Ah, here he comes. That's him and Seymour."
Yancy,"Ah, here he comes. That's him and Seymour.",Mrs.,Fry Go! Go! Touchdown! But where's Philip?
Mrs.,Fry Go! Go! Touchdown! But where's Philip?,Mr.,"Fry What's that, Seymour? You walking on sunshine?"
Mr.,"Fry What's that, Seymour? You walking on sunshine?",Yancy,He's trying to tell us something. Maybe he can lead us to Philip.
Yancy,He's trying to tell us something. Maybe he can lead us to Philip.,Yancy,Should we follow him?
Yancy,Should we follow him?,Mr.,Fry: To our deaths? Negatory.
Mr.,Fry: To our deaths? Negatory.,Mr.,Fry: It's the Y2K tryin' to lure us into an ambush. And I ain't buyin' it. Pass the baloney.
Mr.,Fry: It's the Y2K tryin' to lure us into an ambush. And I ain't buyin' it. Pass the baloney.,Fry,Are you two gonna be done soon?
Fry,Are you two gonna be done soon?,Leela,across the room.
Leela,across the room.,Fry,Well could you do it some place else? I'm setting up Seymour's doggy bed.
Fry,Well could you do it some place else? I'm setting up Seymour's doggy bed.,Leela,OK.
Leela,OK.,Bender,"best friend, Robo-Puppy."
Bender,"best friend, Robo-Puppy.",Fry,That's nice.
Fry,That's nice.,Bender,"I was just out walking him. Yes, you can walk him. Of course, after he goes you have to refill the canisters. C'mere, boy! Pet, pet, pet."
Bender,"I was just out walking him. Yes, you can walk him. Of course, after he goes you have to refill the canisters. C'mere, boy! Pet, pet, pet.",Robo-Puppy,Robo-Puppy receiving petting.
Robo-Puppy,Robo-Puppy receiving petting.,Amy,"Bender, are you jealous of Fry's puppy? That's so adorable!"
Amy,"Bender, are you jealous of Fry's puppy? That's so adorable!",Bender,"Not while I have the love of Robo-Puppy here. Robo-Puppy, lick my cheek."
Bender,"Not while I have the love of Robo-Puppy here. Robo-Puppy, lick my cheek.",Robo-Puppy,Robo-Puppy commencing cheek-licking. Licking in progress. Licking complete.
Robo-Puppy,Robo-Puppy commencing cheek-licking. Licking in progress. Licking complete.,Bender,"Robo-Puppy truly is robot's best friend, huh?"
Bender,"Robo-Puppy truly is robot's best friend, huh?",Fry,"Ah, there! Perfect!"
Fry,"Ah, there! Perfect!",Holo-Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! The Clone-O-Mat is ready!"
Holo-Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! The Clone-O-Mat is ready!",Fry,Finally!
Fry,Finally!,Robo-Puppy,Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert! Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert!
Robo-Puppy,Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert! Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert!,Farnsworth,"I speak, of course, of molten lava deep within the Earth's core. To the sub-basement!"
Farnsworth,"I speak, of course, of molten lava deep within the Earth's core. To the sub-basement!",Farnsworth,Initiating dog brain CAT scan.
Farnsworth,Initiating dog brain CAT scan.,Fry,"Come on, boy! Come back to life!"
Fry,"Come on, boy! Come back to life!",Farnsworth,Know ye now what feels like to be dog god! Commencing DNA extraction.
Farnsworth,Know ye now what feels like to be dog god! Commencing DNA extraction.,Bender,"Fry, c'mon, the talent show!"
Bender,"Fry, c'mon, the talent show!",Fry,What? I'm in the middle of something.
Fry,What? I'm in the middle of something.,Bender,"But, if we don't perform, in what sense do we have an act?"
Bender,"But, if we don't perform, in what sense do we have an act?",Fry,"Bender, enough! Leave me alone!"
Fry,"Bender, enough! Leave me alone!",Bender,"So that's how it is, huh? I thought you were my friend. But if you love your dog so much, maybe you'd rather play fetch!"
Bender,"So that's how it is, huh? I thought you were my friend. But if you love your dog so much, maybe you'd rather play fetch!",Leela,No!
Leela,No!,Zoidberg,Oh!
Zoidberg,Oh!,Bender,Now I'm all you got!
Bender,Now I'm all you got!,Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Bender,So anyway your dog is melted. Now we're friends again.
Bender,So anyway your dog is melted. Now we're friends again.,Farnsworth,Not necessarily. For the dog may yet survive.
Farnsworth,Not necessarily. For the dog may yet survive.,Fry,May yet? Really?
Fry,May yet? Really?,Farnsworth,"Of course, that would have melted even at room temperature. I just wanted to get rid of it. But had it been made of that righteous mineral dolomite, there's a slim chance it might have survived."
Farnsworth,"Of course, that would have melted even at room temperature. I just wanted to get rid of it. But had it been made of that righteous mineral dolomite, there's a slim chance it might have survived.",Fry,So Seymour might still exist?
Fry,So Seymour might still exist?,Farnsworth,"Perhaps, for a few minutes. It's dolomite, baby!"
Farnsworth,"Perhaps, for a few minutes. It's dolomite, baby!",Fry,Then I'm goin' in after him.
Fry,Then I'm goin' in after him.,Amy,No!
Amy,No!,Leela,Stop!
Leela,Stop!,Fry,He'd come after me!
Fry,He'd come after me!,Leela,Acting like a moron won't bring your dog back.
Leela,Acting like a moron won't bring your dog back.,Fry,"Goodbye, Seymour."
Fry,"Goodbye, Seymour.",Bender,"I assumed you were just pretending to love the dog to toy with my emotions. Oh, what have I done?"
Bender,"I assumed you were just pretending to love the dog to toy with my emotions. Oh, what have I done?",Zoidberg,You didn't do anything. Don't beat yourself up.
Zoidberg,You didn't do anything. Don't beat yourself up.,Bender,I'm goin' in!
Bender,I'm goin' in!,Farnsworth,I'm a professor! Why isn't anyone listening to me? You can't go in because you'll melt. The fossil only has a chance because it's made of dolomite.
Farnsworth,I'm a professor! Why isn't anyone listening to me? You can't go in because you'll melt. The fossil only has a chance because it's made of dolomite.,Bender,"Oh, it's hot! It's very hot!"
Bender,"Oh, it's hot! It's very hot!",Cryogenisist,Ugh! I am one hungover cryogenisist. Just throw that mutt in the freezer till his owners get here.
Cryogenisist,Ugh! I am one hungover cryogenisist. Just throw that mutt in the freezer till his owners get here.,Plumber,"You can't solve all your problems by freezing them, boss."
Plumber,"You can't solve all your problems by freezing them, boss.",Cryogenisist,I think you're forgetting our motto.
Cryogenisist,I think you're forgetting our motto.,Mr.,Fry: Are you the cryogenisist who called about our son's dog?
Mr.,Fry: Are you the cryogenisist who called about our son's dog?,Cryogenisist,"Oh, you must be the Frys. Yeah, he's right over there."
Cryogenisist,"Oh, you must be the Frys. Yeah, he's right over there.",Mrs.,Fry: Sorry we're late. We all got sick from eating bad baloney.
Mrs.,Fry: Sorry we're late. We all got sick from eating bad baloney.,Mr.,Fry: Y2K!
Mr.,Fry: Y2K!,Mrs.,Fry: What's he so worked up about?
Mrs.,Fry: What's he so worked up about?,Mr.,"Fry C'mon, you overgrown rat. Lead us to Philip."
Mr.,"Fry C'mon, you overgrown rat. Lead us to Philip.",Leela,Bender's been down there too long. I'm going in after him.
Leela,Bender's been down there too long. I'm going in after him.,Farnsworth,Professor! Lava! Hot!
Farnsworth,Professor! Lava! Hot!,Fry,Bender!
Fry,Bender!,Bender,"Hey, where'd everybody go?"
Bender,"Hey, where'd everybody go?",Bender,OK! Let's clone us some dog!
Bender,OK! Let's clone us some dog!,Fry,Yeah!
Fry,Yeah!,Farnsworth,Interesting. It seems Seymour died at the ripe old age of 15.
Farnsworth,Interesting. It seems Seymour died at the ripe old age of 15.,Fry,15? You mean he lived for 12 more years after I got frozen?
Fry,15? You mean he lived for 12 more years after I got frozen?,Farnsworth,Indeed.
Farnsworth,Indeed.,Fry,Stop the cloning.
Fry,Stop the cloning.,Farnsworth,"Oh, sure! Smash the smart guy's machine!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, sure! Smash the smart guy's machine!",Bender,"Fry, what's wrong?"
Bender,"Fry, what's wrong?",Fry,Think about it: Seymour lived a full life after I was gone. He probably even added new songs to his repertoire.
Fry,Think about it: Seymour lived a full life after I was gone. He probably even added new songs to his repertoire.,Bender,sucks noodles!
Bender,sucks noodles!,Fry,"I'll never forget him. But he forgot me a long, long time ago."
Fry,"I'll never forget him. But he forgot me a long, long time ago.",Zoidberg,"Hurry up with the water. I'm steaming inside my own shell, I am. It's that hot, it is!"
Zoidberg,"Hurry up with the water. I'm steaming inside my own shell, I am. It's that hot, it is!",Leela,Hi-yah!
Leela,Hi-yah!,Fry,Johnny Carson said it.
Fry,Johnny Carson said it.,Leela,"No, Nibbler! Don't drink the pool water! It's full of chlorine!"
Leela,"No, Nibbler! Don't drink the pool water! It's full of chlorine!",Bender,"Lightweights! Oh, wait, chlorine!"
Bender,"Lightweights! Oh, wait, chlorine!",Farnsworth,Perhaps this movie will help us take our minds off the heat.
Farnsworth,Perhaps this movie will help us take our minds off the heat.,Bender,Focus!
Bender,Focus!,Narrator,Global Warming Or: None Like It Hot!
Narrator,Global Warming Or: None Like It Hot!,Narrator,"You're probably wondering why your ice cream went away. Well, Suzie, the culprit isn't foreigners, it's global warming!"
Narrator,"You're probably wondering why your ice cream went away. Well, Suzie, the culprit isn't foreigners, it's global warming!",Suzie,Gwobal wappa?
Suzie,Gwobal wappa?,Narrator,"Uh, yeah! Meet Mr. Sunbeam. He comes all the way from the sun to visit Earth."
Narrator,"Uh, yeah! Meet Mr. Sunbeam. He comes all the way from the sun to visit Earth.",Mr.,Sunbeam And now I'll be on my way!
Mr.,Sunbeam And now I'll be on my way!,Gas,"Not so fast, Sunbeam! We're greenhouse gases. You ain't goin' nowhere!"
Gas,"Not so fast, Sunbeam! We're greenhouse gases. You ain't goin' nowhere!",Mr.,"Sunbeam: Ooh! Ah! Oh, God, it hurts!"
Mr.,"Sunbeam: Ooh! Ah! Oh, God, it hurts!",Narrator,... their rotting corpses heating our atmosphere.
Narrator,... their rotting corpses heating our atmosphere.,Suzie,How do we get wid of the gweenhouse grasses?
Suzie,How do we get wid of the gweenhouse grasses?,Narrator,"Fortunately, our handsomest politicians came up with a cheap, last-minute way to combat global warming. Ever since 2063 we simply drop a giant ice cube into the ocean every now and then."
Narrator,"Fortunately, our handsomest politicians came up with a cheap, last-minute way to combat global warming. Ever since 2063 we simply drop a giant ice cube into the ocean every now and then.",Suzie,Just like Daddy puts in his drink every morning.  And then he gets mad.
Suzie,Just like Daddy puts in his drink every morning.  And then he gets mad.,Narrator,Thus solving the problem once and for all.
Narrator,Thus solving the problem once and for all.,Suzie,But--
Suzie,But--,Narrator,Once and for all!
Narrator,Once and for all!,Leela,Hello?
Leela,Hello?,Nixon,I'm hiring you losers to deliver the ice. And hurry up! I'm sweating like J. Edgar Hoover trying to squeeze into a new girdle!
Nixon,I'm hiring you losers to deliver the ice. And hurry up! I'm sweating like J. Edgar Hoover trying to squeeze into a new girdle!,Farnsworth,Bye!
Farnsworth,Bye!,Fry,Wait! Where do we get the ice?
Fry,Wait! Where do we get the ice?,Farnsworth,"The wha? Oh, Halley's Comet, of course. The only sufficient source of ice cubes that don't have bugs in them."
Farnsworth,"The wha? Oh, Halley's Comet, of course. The only sufficient source of ice cubes that don't have bugs in them.",Fry,Wow! Mining a comet! That sounds fun.
Fry,Wow! Mining a comet! That sounds fun.,Farnsworth,Safe!
Farnsworth,Safe!,Bender,Deploying ice drill.
Bender,Deploying ice drill.,Fry,Yakov Smirnov said it.
Fry,Yakov Smirnov said it.,Leela,"No, he didn't."
Leela,"No, he didn't.",Bender,Activating ice drill.
Bender,Activating ice drill.,Fry,"Oh, my God! It's out of ice! Like some outer space Motel 6!"
Fry,"Oh, my God! It's out of ice! Like some outer space Motel 6!",Leela,Completely out of ice?
Leela,Completely out of ice?,Bender,This could mean the end of the banana daiquiri as we know it ... also life.
Bender,This could mean the end of the banana daiquiri as we know it ... also life.,Linda,"With Halley's Comet out of ice, Earth is experiencing the devastating effects of sudden intense global warming."
Linda,"With Halley's Comet out of ice, Earth is experiencing the devastating effects of sudden intense global warming.",Morbo,"Morbo is pleased but sticky. The scorching heat has melted the polar ice caps, causing floods of biblical proportion."
Morbo,"Morbo is pleased but sticky. The scorching heat has melted the polar ice caps, causing floods of biblical proportion.",Randy,They called me crazy for building this ark.
Randy,They called me crazy for building this ark.,Soupy,crazy. You filled it with same-sex animal couples!
Soupy,crazy. You filled it with same-sex animal couples!,Randy,Hey! There are parts of the Bible I like and parts I don't like.
Randy,Hey! There are parts of the Bible I like and parts I don't like.,Morbo,Direct your attention now to the African turtles seen here migrating to cooler homes in Holland.
Morbo,Direct your attention now to the African turtles seen here migrating to cooler homes in Holland.,Bender,That poor turtle!
Bender,That poor turtle!,Fry,Bender? Are you crying?
Fry,Bender? Are you crying?,Bender,"Uh, no! Never!"
Bender,"Uh, no! Never!",Morbo,Morbo wishes these stalwart nomads peace among the Dutch tulips.
Morbo,Morbo wishes these stalwart nomads peace among the Dutch tulips.,Linda,I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.
Linda,I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.,Morbo,Goodnight!
Morbo,Goodnight!,Bender,"Well, everybody, I just saved a turtle. What have you done with your lives?"
Bender,"Well, everybody, I just saved a turtle. What have you done with your lives?",Hermes,You went all the way to Holland already?
Hermes,You went all the way to Holland already?,Leela,"Bender, a turtle isn't yourself. Why do you care about it?"
Leela,"Bender, a turtle isn't yourself. Why do you care about it?",Bender,Because I also care deeply about things that remind me of myself. Like poor little Shelly here.
Bender,Because I also care deeply about things that remind me of myself. Like poor little Shelly here.,Hermes,What could you possibly have in common with this walking soup mix?
Hermes,What could you possibly have in common with this walking soup mix?,Bender,"But lead a rich, inner life. And also ... well, you know."
Bender,"But lead a rich, inner life. And also ... well, you know.",Leela,"You're both alcoholic, whore-mongering, chain-smoking gamblers?"
Leela,"You're both alcoholic, whore-mongering, chain-smoking gamblers?",Bender,No! It's just ... neither of us can get up when we get knocked on our back.
Bender,No! It's just ... neither of us can get up when we get knocked on our back.,Fry,What? I've seen you get up off your back tons of times.
Fry,What? I've seen you get up off your back tons of times.,Bender,Those times I was slightly on my side.
Bender,Those times I was slightly on my side.,Hermes,"Interesting. Maybe we should test this erectile dysfunction of yours, Bender."
Hermes,"Interesting. Maybe we should test this erectile dysfunction of yours, Bender.",Bender,Oh! That's what I get for sharing my vulnerability with you.
Bender,Oh! That's what I get for sharing my vulnerability with you.,Van,"Calling all scientists, calling all scientists. Be advised there will be a worldwide conference on global warming in Kyoto, Japan."
Van,"Calling all scientists, calling all scientists. Be advised there will be a worldwide conference on global warming in Kyoto, Japan.",Man,I've got a degree in homeopathic medicine!
Man,I've got a degree in homeopathic medicine!,Van,You've got a degree in baloney!
Van,You've got a degree in baloney!,Amy,"Professor Farnsworth, you're a scientist!"
Amy,"Professor Farnsworth, you're a scientist!",Farnsworth,"Forget it, I'm not going! I have my reasons! Shut up, all of you!"
Farnsworth,"Forget it, I'm not going! I have my reasons! Shut up, all of you!",Hermes,Strange. You haven't acted this suspicious since I found those ape bones in the basement.
Hermes,Strange. You haven't acted this suspicious since I found those ape bones in the basement.,Farnsworth,"My hip hurts! I'm in the middle of cooking a turkey! I have warranty cards to fill out! I am not just making excuses! Alright, I'll go!"
Farnsworth,"My hip hurts! I'm in the middle of cooking a turkey! I have warranty cards to fill out! I am not just making excuses! Alright, I'll go!",Woman,"#1: Oh, God, I can't believe it!"
Woman,"#1: Oh, God, I can't believe it!",Woman,#2: I love you!
Woman,#2: I love you!,Rivers,"Oh, oh, oh! It's Professor Hubert Farnsworth! He's looking sharp in a standard white lab coat and dark slacks! His wristwatch is a Casio."
Rivers,"Oh, oh, oh! It's Professor Hubert Farnsworth! He's looking sharp in a standard white lab coat and dark slacks! His wristwatch is a Casio.",Van,Thank you all for coming. It is my pleasure to introduce the host of the Kyoto Global Warming Convention. The inventor of the environment and first Emperor of the Moon: Al Gore.
Van,Thank you all for coming. It is my pleasure to introduce the host of the Kyoto Global Warming Convention. The inventor of the environment and first Emperor of the Moon: Al Gore.,Al,Gore's head: I have ridden the mighty Moon Worm.
Al,Gore's head: I have ridden the mighty Moon Worm.,Fry,Good for him!
Fry,Good for him!,"Gore,",we need to defend our planet against pollution. As well as dark wizards.
"Gore,",we need to defend our planet against pollution. As well as dark wizards.,Dark,Wizard: Sure! Blame the wizards!
Dark,Wizard: Sure! Blame the wizards!,Gore,"Lovely, aren't they?"
Gore,"Lovely, aren't they?",Dark,Wizard With those I could open the Gate of Kerash!
Dark,Wizard With those I could open the Gate of Kerash!,Gore,First up is Professor Ogden Wernstrom.
Gore,First up is Professor Ogden Wernstrom.,Wernstrom,"Ladies and gentlemen, I have placed in orbit a giant mirror that will reflect 40% of the sun's rays, thus cooling Earth. Observe."
Wernstrom,"Ladies and gentlemen, I have placed in orbit a giant mirror that will reflect 40% of the sun's rays, thus cooling Earth. Observe.",Wernstrom,Problem solved.
Wernstrom,Problem solved.,Man,Ooh! That's a little bright.
Man,Ooh! That's a little bright.,Gore,"Alright, what else we got?"
Gore,"Alright, what else we got?",Fry,"Professor, you're a professor. You must have some ideas."
Fry,"Professor, you're a professor. You must have some ideas.",Farnsworth,Absolutely not! I won't speak! I've got nothing to hide!
Farnsworth,Absolutely not! I won't speak! I've got nothing to hide!,Gore,Our next speaker is Professor--
Gore,Our next speaker is Professor--,Farnsworth,I demand the floor!
Farnsworth,I demand the floor!,Gore,to speak.
Gore,to speak.,Farnsworth,"I know the source of the greenhouse gases. But in my shame I've kept it secret for 75 long years. Oh, it haunts my memory still."
Farnsworth,"I know the source of the greenhouse gases. But in my shame I've kept it secret for 75 long years. Oh, it haunts my memory still.",Fry,"Professor, no! Don't do it!"
Fry,"Professor, no! Don't do it!",Farnsworth,Don't do what? Don't use this memory ray so I can remember what happened back then?
Farnsworth,Don't do what? Don't use this memory ray so I can remember what happened back then?,Farnsworth,"It was October 17th at 1:54pm and 14 birds were flying by the window. I was working at Mom's Friendly Robot Company. Back then, you see, robots were slow-moving, stiff and a little on the uptight side."
Farnsworth,"It was October 17th at 1:54pm and 14 birds were flying by the window. I was working at Mom's Friendly Robot Company. Back then, you see, robots were slow-moving, stiff and a little on the uptight side.",Prototype,"Oh, dear. Might I favour master with a tender kiss on the forehead?"
Prototype,"Oh, dear. Might I favour master with a tender kiss on the forehead?",Farnsworth,"Oh, I've failed again."
Farnsworth,"Oh, I've failed again.",Prototype,"Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear!"
Prototype,"Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear!",Farnsworth,The owner of the company pressured me to create a bigger sportier robot.
Farnsworth,The owner of the company pressured me to create a bigger sportier robot.,Farnsworth,Stop!
Farnsworth,Stop!,Farnsworth,"It wasn't easy but, by sacrificing fuel efficiency, I succeeded."
Farnsworth,"It wasn't easy but, by sacrificing fuel efficiency, I succeeded.",Mom,What was that?
Mom,What was that?,Farnsworth,A flaming burp.
Farnsworth,A flaming burp.,Mom,Does it always do that?
Mom,Does it always do that?,Farnsworth,It's not always a burp. We still have one problem though: This robot will never meet emission standards.
Farnsworth,It's not always a burp. We still have one problem though: This robot will never meet emission standards.,Mom,We'll just call it a sport utility robot and classify it as a light truck.
Mom,We'll just call it a sport utility robot and classify it as a light truck.,Farnsworth,"Well, I suppose the environment can take one more for the team."
Farnsworth,"Well, I suppose the environment can take one more for the team.",Farnsworth,What a fool I was. If only I had made the effort to develop a cleaner-burning robot. But I was tired and in love.
Farnsworth,What a fool I was. If only I had made the effort to develop a cleaner-burning robot. But I was tired and in love.,Mom,"Take me now, you stud!"
Mom,"Take me now, you stud!",Farnsworth,"Oh, this is all my fault!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, this is all my fault!",Fry,"That's awful, Professor. Especially the making-out part."
Fry,"That's awful, Professor. Especially the making-out part.",Gore,"Yeah, I didn't need to hear that."
Gore,"Yeah, I didn't need to hear that.",Farnsworth,All modern robots descend from my original smog-blasting designs. And that's the cause of global warming today.
Farnsworth,All modern robots descend from my original smog-blasting designs. And that's the cause of global warming today.,Wernstrom,"We are left with only one possible course of action, grim though it be."
Wernstrom,"We are left with only one possible course of action, grim though it be.",Bender,I got a good feeling about this!
Bender,I got a good feeling about this!,Wernstrom,all robots!
Wernstrom,all robots!,Bender,No!
Bender,No!,Farnsworth,"Wait, surely there's a better--"
Farnsworth,"Wait, surely there's a better--",Van,The conference is over.
Van,The conference is over.,Gore,"I must go now, to help collect cans on Jupiter. Peace out, y'all!"
Gore,"I must go now, to help collect cans on Jupiter. Peace out, y'all!",Crowd,Destroy all robots! Destroy all robots!
Crowd,Destroy all robots! Destroy all robots!,Amy,Poor Bender.
Amy,Poor Bender.,Fry,"Be brave, my friend."
Fry,"Be brave, my friend.",Leela,Would you do it for a Bender snack?
Leela,Would you do it for a Bender snack?,Fry,Aha!
Fry,Aha!,Leela,Gotcha!
Leela,Gotcha!,Bender,I've got mail!
Bender,I've got mail!,Amy,"Ooh! It's a party, apparently."
Amy,"Ooh! It's a party, apparently.",Nixon,attend.
Nixon,attend.,Zoidberg,I don't hear any gasping.
Zoidberg,I don't hear any gasping.,Leela,We all figured that out.
Leela,We all figured that out.,Bender,"Well, I'm off."
Bender,"Well, I'm off.",Fry,Wait! We could hide you. We'll pile fruit on you and claim you're a bowl.
Fry,Wait! We could hide you. We'll pile fruit on you and claim you're a bowl.,Bender,No. I'm going to the party.
Bender,No. I'm going to the party.,Fry,I won't let you!
Fry,I won't let you!,Bender,"Fry, as you know, there are lots of things I'm willing to kill for. Jewels, vengeance, Father O'Mally's weed whacker. But, at long last, I've found something I'm willing to die for: This mindless turtle."
Bender,"Fry, as you know, there are lots of things I'm willing to kill for. Jewels, vengeance, Father O'Mally's weed whacker. But, at long last, I've found something I'm willing to die for: This mindless turtle.",Fry,"Bender, this world isn't good enough for you."
Fry,"Bender, this world isn't good enough for you.",Bender,It's booby trapped!
Bender,It's booby trapped!,Robot,"#1: Oh, yeah!"
Robot,"#1: Oh, yeah!",Robot,"#2: Come on, baby!"
Robot,"#2: Come on, baby!",Bender,"Crummy keg! It's completely ta-- Oh, you're a robot!"
Bender,"Crummy keg! It's completely ta-- Oh, you're a robot!",Keg,Robot: Don't stop!
Keg,Robot: Don't stop!,Bender,Ew!
Bender,Ew!,Nixon,"OK, headless body of Agnew, let's blow this joint!"
Nixon,"OK, headless body of Agnew, let's blow this joint!",Crushinator,Do you want to dance?
Crushinator,Do you want to dance?,Bender,"Nah, I'm not really in the--"
Bender,"Nah, I'm not really in the--",Crushinator,You know you want to.
Crushinator,You know you want to.,Wernstrom,"Per your orders, I modified my mirror to fire a colossal electromagnetic pulse at the Galapagos. Every robot will be instantly and painfully terminated. Now for your part of the bargain."
Wernstrom,"Per your orders, I modified my mirror to fire a colossal electromagnetic pulse at the Galapagos. Every robot will be instantly and painfully terminated. Now for your part of the bargain.",Nixon,"Aroo! Very well. Agnew, you belong to Wernstrom now."
Nixon,"Aroo! Very well. Agnew, you belong to Wernstrom now.",Bender,"Don't tell anybody, but Nixon's about to shut all robots off and--"
Bender,"Don't tell anybody, but Nixon's about to shut all robots off and--",Boom,Mic-bot: What?
Boom,Mic-bot: What?,Robot,#3: We're gonna die!
Robot,#3: We're gonna die!,Preacherbot,We're going to the great beyond!
Preacherbot,We're going to the great beyond!,Chain,Smoker: Nixon's not bringing the smokes!
Chain,Smoker: Nixon's not bringing the smokes!,Bender,"But we need to be shut off! Especially you, Hedonismbot!"
Bender,"But we need to be shut off! Especially you, Hedonismbot!",Hedonismbot,I apologise for nothing!
Hedonismbot,I apologise for nothing!,Bender,We pollute too much. We're destroying the world and killing the turtles.
Bender,We pollute too much. We're destroying the world and killing the turtles.,Preacherbot,To hell with the turtles!
Preacherbot,To hell with the turtles!,Bender,No one insults the turtles!
Bender,No one insults the turtles!,Preacherbot,"Oh, mercy!"
Preacherbot,"Oh, mercy!",Bender,Come on!
Bender,Come on!,Hedonismbot,Let the games begin!
Hedonismbot,Let the games begin!,Farnsworth,"Everyone, listen!"
Farnsworth,"Everyone, listen!",Preacherbot,"Aw, damn!"
Preacherbot,"Aw, damn!",Farnsworth,"I've devised a way to save you and stop global warming at the same time. Granted, you're all blasting out greenhouse gases--"
Farnsworth,"I've devised a way to save you and stop global warming at the same time. Granted, you're all blasting out greenhouse gases--",Bender,You're one to talk!
Bender,You're one to talk!,Farnsworth,Harder! Harder!
Farnsworth,Harder! Harder!,Fry,Why isn't this working?!
Fry,Why isn't this working?!,Leela,Some lazy or polite robot is holding it in.
Leela,Some lazy or polite robot is holding it in.,Bender,Help! Help!
Bender,Help! Help!,Farnsworth,"A billion robot lives are about to be extinguished. Oh, the Jedis are going to feel this one!"
Farnsworth,"A billion robot lives are about to be extinguished. Oh, the Jedis are going to feel this one!",Bender,Aha! I'm even greater than I thought I was! And now to fulfill my destiny.
Bender,Aha! I'm even greater than I thought I was! And now to fulfill my destiny.,Nixon,What the--?
Nixon,What the--?,Wernstrom,We missed!
Wernstrom,We missed!,Nixon,"Professor, for saving the Earth and foiling me, I proudly, yet angrily, present you with Earth's new highest honour: The Polluting Medal of Pollution."
Nixon,"Professor, for saving the Earth and foiling me, I proudly, yet angrily, present you with Earth's new highest honour: The Polluting Medal of Pollution.",Farnsworth,Thank you. I deserve this!
Farnsworth,Thank you. I deserve this!,Bender,"Hey, Professor, now that the Earth's orbit is further from the sun, won't that make the year longer?"
Bender,"Hey, Professor, now that the Earth's orbit is further from the sun, won't that make the year longer?",Farnsworth,"Why, yes! One week longer to be exact."
Farnsworth,"Why, yes! One week longer to be exact.",Nixon,In that case I hereby declare it Robot Party Week!
Nixon,In that case I hereby declare it Robot Party Week!,Bender,"Alright, baby!"
Bender,"Alright, baby!",Farnsworth,is how you repay me?
Farnsworth,is how you repay me?,Farnsworth,"Let's get this gargoyle hunt on the road. Driving gloves, driving goggles, driving thong. There!"
Farnsworth,"Let's get this gargoyle hunt on the road. Driving gloves, driving goggles, driving thong. There!",Leela,"Uh, maybe I should drive."
Leela,"Uh, maybe I should drive.",Farnsworth,"You? A woman? I'm trying to catch a monster, not find the quickest route to the mall! Let me just adjust the seat."
Farnsworth,"You? A woman? I'm trying to catch a monster, not find the quickest route to the mall! Let me just adjust the seat.",Fry,"My God! He's gonna do it! Everybody, seatbelts to maximum buckling."
Fry,"My God! He's gonna do it! Everybody, seatbelts to maximum buckling.",Farnsworth,"Pazuzu? Oh, Pazuzu?"
Farnsworth,"Pazuzu? Oh, Pazuzu?",Randy,"Hey, grandpa, move your wrinkly old kiester!"
Randy,"Hey, grandpa, move your wrinkly old kiester!",Farnsworth,Shut up!
Farnsworth,Shut up!,Leela,"For Heaven's Gate, Professor. This ship can do 99% light speed. Why are we going 35 miles an hour?"
Leela,"For Heaven's Gate, Professor. This ship can do 99% light speed. Why are we going 35 miles an hour?",Farnsworth,"Because we're in a hurry, that's why."
Farnsworth,"Because we're in a hurry, that's why.",Leela,"Plus, you have the high beams on!"
Leela,"Plus, you have the high beams on!",Farnsworth,Pazuzu? Pazuzu?
Farnsworth,Pazuzu? Pazuzu?,Bender,"Yo, Captain Cataract? What are we doing here?"
Bender,"Yo, Captain Cataract? What are we doing here?",Farnsworth,"Oh, it's 2.30. We can still catch the early bird dinner special."
Farnsworth,"Oh, it's 2.30. We can still catch the early bird dinner special.",Fry,"Uh, aren't we looking for your gargoyle?"
Fry,"Uh, aren't we looking for your gargoyle?",Farnsworth,My wha?
Farnsworth,My wha?,Farnsworth,"Hello, Mavis! Surprised to see me back again so soon?"
Farnsworth,"Hello, Mavis! Surprised to see me back again so soon?",Wanda,Mavis is dead.
Wanda,Mavis is dead.,Farnsworth,"I expect you'll want to see my angry, crotchety, grandpa discount card."
Farnsworth,"I expect you'll want to see my angry, crotchety, grandpa discount card.",Wanda,"Sir, this card has expired."
Wanda,"Sir, this card has expired.",Farnsworth,But it's good for a lifetime.
Farnsworth,But it's good for a lifetime.,Wanda,"Well, yours expired."
Wanda,"Well, yours expired.",Leela,"Oh, Lord! Teeth do not belong in your pants, Professor."
Leela,"Oh, Lord! Teeth do not belong in your pants, Professor.",Farnsworth,"Well, I can't keep them in my mouth. They're nuclear-powered!"
Farnsworth,"Well, I can't keep them in my mouth. They're nuclear-powered!",Fry,Ow! It bit my finger!
Fry,Ow! It bit my finger!,Leela!,It's tasted human blood!
Leela!,It's tasted human blood!,Farnsworth,Mmm! Damn good meat!
Farnsworth,Mmm! Damn good meat!,Leela,"Professor, we've talked it over and everybody thinks you're too old."
Leela,"Professor, we've talked it over and everybody thinks you're too old.",Amy,Right on.
Amy,Right on.,Fry,Yup.
Fry,Yup.,Bender,Uh-huh!
Bender,Uh-huh!,Hermes,We've decided to do the merciful thing and have you euthasised.
Hermes,We've decided to do the merciful thing and have you euthasised.,Farnsworth,"Dear God, no!"
Farnsworth,"Dear God, no!",Amy,"Oh, relax, Professor. Youthasizing is a trendy, new spa treatment. It's this season's shark-cartilage enema."
Amy,"Oh, relax, Professor. Youthasizing is a trendy, new spa treatment. It's this season's shark-cartilage enema.",Farnsworth,"But I like being old. I don't have to talk to my parents, no one asks me to help move their stuff, I don't need to understand today's edgy TV sitcoms."
Farnsworth,"But I like being old. I don't have to talk to my parents, no one asks me to help move their stuff, I don't need to understand today's edgy TV sitcoms.",Leela,"OK, OK. We're not gonna force you until I finish this sentence. Get him!"
Leela,"OK, OK. We're not gonna force you until I finish this sentence. Get him!",Farnsworth,My thong!
Farnsworth,My thong!,Heather,"Hi! I'm Heather, your personal Youthasizer. Let's get started with a nice botulism treatment, shall we?"
Heather,"Hi! I'm Heather, your personal Youthasizer. Let's get started with a nice botulism treatment, shall we?",Farnsworth,"Go to hell, Heather!"
Farnsworth,"Go to hell, Heather!",Heather,"In small doses, botchelism toxin tightens and tones the facial muscles instead of killing you in the most horrible fashion imaginable."
Heather,"In small doses, botchelism toxin tightens and tones the facial muscles instead of killing you in the most horrible fashion imaginable.",Farnsworth,Give me back my floppy face!
Farnsworth,Give me back my floppy face!,Farnsworth,Careful with the giblets!
Farnsworth,Careful with the giblets!,Heather,More pressure.
Heather,More pressure.,Heather,to be naked.
Heather,to be naked.,Farnsworth,You sound just like my tennis instructor.
Farnsworth,You sound just like my tennis instructor.,Heather,The tar blisters the age right out of the body in what top scientists suspect is a miracle.
Heather,The tar blisters the age right out of the body in what top scientists suspect is a miracle.,Farnsworth,"Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain."
Farnsworth,"Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.",Fry,He still sounds sorta old. Sorta real old.
Fry,He still sounds sorta old. Sorta real old.,Bender,"Harder, damn you!"
Bender,"Harder, damn you!",Farnsworth,"Well, that was an utter waste of time."
Farnsworth,"Well, that was an utter waste of time.",Amy,"Professor, it worked! You look young enough to be my father!"
Amy,"Professor, it worked! You look young enough to be my father!",Farnsworth,Now I'll need a fake ID to rent ultra-porn.
Farnsworth,Now I'll need a fake ID to rent ultra-porn.,Farnsworth,Dear Lord! You've all reverted to your childhood forms.
Farnsworth,Dear Lord! You've all reverted to your childhood forms.,Zoidberg,Hooray! I'm a teenage heartthrob again!
Zoidberg,Hooray! I'm a teenage heartthrob again!,Farnsworth,"While I try to restore our normal ages, I expect you all to go about your jobs like responsible professionals."
Farnsworth,"While I try to restore our normal ages, I expect you all to go about your jobs like responsible professionals.",Hermes,"Stop it, Amy!"
Hermes,"Stop it, Amy!",Amy,You stink!
Amy,You stink!,Hermes,You know you did it!
Hermes,You know you did it!,Farnsworth,"Quiet! Quiet, I say!"
Farnsworth,"Quiet! Quiet, I say!",LaBarbara,"We're here to take my little stub of a husband home. Hermes, say goodbye to Mr. Farnsworth."
LaBarbara,"We're here to take my little stub of a husband home. Hermes, say goodbye to Mr. Farnsworth.",Leela,parents too.
Leela,parents too.,Fry,But your parents are gross sewer mutants.
Fry,But your parents are gross sewer mutants.,Leela,"When I was an orphan, I always wished I could grow up with my mom and dad. And now, thanks to being hurled backwards in time--"
Leela,"When I was an orphan, I always wished I could grow up with my mom and dad. And now, thanks to being hurled backwards in time--",Farnsworth,what happened! Shut up and go live with your parents.
Farnsworth,what happened! Shut up and go live with your parents.,Leela,"It's gonna be totally awesome, Mom! You and me can bake and argue about my hairstyle hiding my pretty face. And if some kid picks on me, my dad can beat up his dad."
Leela,"It's gonna be totally awesome, Mom! You and me can bake and argue about my hairstyle hiding my pretty face. And if some kid picks on me, my dad can beat up his dad.",Morris,Can't I just beat up the kid?
Morris,Can't I just beat up the kid?,Munda,"Well, OK, Leela. If you think you can put up with your father, then welcome home. We'll try to respect your independence and freedom."
Munda,"Well, OK, Leela. If you think you can put up with your father, then welcome home. We'll try to respect your independence and freedom.",Leela,"No! I want the real teen experience: Chores, curfew, the works!"
Leela,"No! I want the real teen experience: Chores, curfew, the works!",Morris,"Fine, Sweetiekins, we'll be the strictest parents ever. Now, let's all have some tequila to celebrate!"
Morris,"Fine, Sweetiekins, we'll be the strictest parents ever. Now, let's all have some tequila to celebrate!",Leela,Dad! I'm underage!
Leela,Dad! I'm underage!,Morris,"Oh, right. Here's a silly straw."
Morris,"Oh, right. Here's a silly straw.",Mrs.,"Wong: Oh, my Amy's sweet little girl again! This is like a mother's dream. Bad dream, that is! At this rate, I'm never going to get a grandchild!"
Mrs.,"Wong: Oh, my Amy's sweet little girl again! This is like a mother's dream. Bad dream, that is! At this rate, I'm never going to get a grandchild!",Mr.,Wong: Maybe she not grown up but she sure grown out! She fat!
Mr.,Wong: Maybe she not grown up but she sure grown out! She fat!,Amy,"Dad, if you're gonna make fat jokes till I get cute again, I'm just gonna stay in my room."
Amy,"Dad, if you're gonna make fat jokes till I get cute again, I'm just gonna stay in my room.",Mr.,"Wong: Stay in room? You so fat, you gonna stay all around room!"
Mr.,"Wong: Stay in room? You so fat, you gonna stay all around room!",Bender,to be!
Bender,to be!,Farnsworth,Fine! Get going!
Farnsworth,Fine! Get going!,Bender,"Oh, I'm going! You're gonna be all Where's Bender? I miss Bender."
Bender,"Oh, I'm going! You're gonna be all Where's Bender? I miss Bender.",Farnsworth,We won't know that until you leave.
Farnsworth,We won't know that until you leave.,Bender,"Oh, I'm leaving!"
Bender,"Oh, I'm leaving!",Farnsworth,There's the door.
Farnsworth,There's the door.,Bender,I'll be good.
Bender,I'll be good.,Munda,"Ah, do you have to shed your skin on the couch? What do we live in, a zoo?"
Munda,"Ah, do you have to shed your skin on the couch? What do we live in, a zoo?",Morris,For me?
Morris,For me?,Leela,"Hi, Fry! I like your blazer."
Leela,"Hi, Fry! I like your blazer.",Fry,"Thanks. These aren't pockets, they're just flaps. I put my money in my sock."
Fry,"Thanks. These aren't pockets, they're just flaps. I put my money in my sock.",Munda,"So, where are you taking my daughter tonight?"
Munda,"So, where are you taking my daughter tonight?",Fry,"A movie, ma'am."
Fry,"A movie, ma'am.",Morris,"Well, whatever you're really doing, don't wake us if you get in after 12."
Morris,"Well, whatever you're really doing, don't wake us if you get in after 12.",Leela,"Dad, you're being too lenient again! I have to be back by 11."
Leela,"Dad, you're being too lenient again! I have to be back by 11.",Munda,"OK, OK. You're the boss!"
Munda,"OK, OK. You're the boss!",Leela,"No, I'm not!"
Leela,"No, I'm not!",Fry,I'd like a sewer burger but without the rat faeces.
Fry,I'd like a sewer burger but without the rat faeces.,Leela,"What are you, on a diet?"
Leela,"What are you, on a diet?",Moose,"Uh, Leela, you look hot."
Moose,"Uh, Leela, you look hot.",Mandy,"Jeez, Moose! Just dump me right in front of her, why don't you."
Mandy,"Jeez, Moose! Just dump me right in front of her, why don't you.",Leela,"Moose, Mandy; this is my friend Fry, from the surface."
Leela,"Moose, Mandy; this is my friend Fry, from the surface.",Mandy,"Oh, so this is the famous Fry. What is he, like, the biggest loser on the surface so he has to hang out in the sewer?"
Mandy,"Oh, so this is the famous Fry. What is he, like, the biggest loser on the surface so he has to hang out in the sewer?",Fry,They're onto me!
Fry,They're onto me!,Leela,"Hey, come on! Let's act like grown-ups here. Wanna race?"
Leela,"Hey, come on! Let's act like grown-ups here. Wanna race?",Moose,"Uh, yeah!"
Moose,"Uh, yeah!",Sal,Cripe!
Sal,Cripe!,Leela,A tapeworm!
Leela,A tapeworm!,Fry,We missed the turn. We'll never catch them.
Fry,We missed the turn. We'll never catch them.,Leela,"Yes, we will. This sewer goes right under Planet Express, and it's 9pm!"
Leela,"Yes, we will. This sewer goes right under Planet Express, and it's 9pm!",Farnsworth,The devil take this predictable colon!
Farnsworth,The devil take this predictable colon!,Fry,Yeah!
Fry,Yeah!,Leela,Alright!
Leela,Alright!,Fry,"Leela, you can stop winning now. We won!"
Fry,"Leela, you can stop winning now. We won!",Leela,I'm too short to reach the handbrake!
Leela,I'm too short to reach the handbrake!,Dwayne,That's detention!
Dwayne,That's detention!,Fry,"And then, and then, this giant tapeworm tried to play us for chumps but we like totally dissed Moose!"
Fry,"And then, and then, this giant tapeworm tried to play us for chumps but we like totally dissed Moose!",Farnsworth.,"But, in the meantime, I have good news. I may have solved our age problem."
Farnsworth.,"But, in the meantime, I have good news. I may have solved our age problem.",Fry,Yay!
Fry,Yay!,Farnsworth,"It seems the Youthasizing tar was saturated with time-altering Chronitons. A thin layer is still stuck to our DNA as well as Bender's robo, or RNA."
Farnsworth,"It seems the Youthasizing tar was saturated with time-altering Chronitons. A thin layer is still stuck to our DNA as well as Bender's robo, or RNA.",Bender,Question.
Bender,Question.,Farnsworth,Yes?
Farnsworth,Yes?,Bender,You stink!
Bender,You stink!,Farnsworth,"Yes, yes. Anyhow, I've designed an oil-eating bacterium that should take the tar right off."
Farnsworth,"Yes, yes. Anyhow, I've designed an oil-eating bacterium that should take the tar right off.",Fry,together!
Fry,together!,Leela,"Thanks, Professor. But I don't want the treatment."
Leela,"Thanks, Professor. But I don't want the treatment.",Farnsworth,"Don't you understand, you little nitwit? Unless you're treated soon, the only way to restore your true age would be to grow into it! Just as God intended."
Farnsworth,"Don't you understand, you little nitwit? Unless you're treated soon, the only way to restore your true age would be to grow into it! Just as God intended.",Munda,"He has a point, honey. What about your job and your friends? Do you really want to abandon your old life?"
Munda,"He has a point, honey. What about your job and your friends? Do you really want to abandon your old life?",Leela,"My old life wasn't as glamorous as my webpage made it look. All I ever wanted was to grow up here, with you. Please?"
Leela,"My old life wasn't as glamorous as my webpage made it look. All I ever wanted was to grow up here, with you. Please?",Munda,Well if it's what you really want.
Munda,Well if it's what you really want.,Leela,It is. I know it is.
Leela,It is. I know it is.,Fry,"I'll miss you, Leela. I'll come back and visit when I'm all grown up."
Fry,"I'll miss you, Leela. I'll come back and visit when I'm all grown up.",Leela,Bring beer.
Leela,Bring beer.,Morris,No beer till you finish your tequila!
Morris,No beer till you finish your tequila!,Farnsworth,The age-restoring microbes are ready. Everyone into the bacterial spew chamber.
Farnsworth,The age-restoring microbes are ready. Everyone into the bacterial spew chamber.,Amy,Let's go!
Amy,Let's go!,Bender,"Yes, everyone do the same thing!"
Bender,"Yes, everyone do the same thing!",Farnsworth,Initiating controlled infection.
Farnsworth,Initiating controlled infection.,Zoidberg,"I'm no doctor, but this machine guy could use a lozenge."
Zoidberg,"I'm no doctor, but this machine guy could use a lozenge.",Amy,"Aw, pooh! We're even younger!"
Amy,"Aw, pooh! We're even younger!",Farnsworth,"Day-umn! The bacteria pigged-out on the tar and now they're getting freaky-deaky, spreading Chronitons throughout our systems. We're getting younger by the minute!"
Farnsworth,"Day-umn! The bacteria pigged-out on the tar and now they're getting freaky-deaky, spreading Chronitons throughout our systems. We're getting younger by the minute!",Amy,Yikes!
Amy,Yikes!,Zoidberg,my larval stages?
Zoidberg,my larval stages?,Farnsworth,Word! We'll all keep getting younger and younger until we suffer a fate worse than death: Pre-life ... then death.
Farnsworth,Word! We'll all keep getting younger and younger until we suffer a fate worse than death: Pre-life ... then death.,Farnsworth,"I've got to stop this reverse-aging before we all shrivel up and suffer the agony of un-birth. Think, you disco duck, think!"
Farnsworth,"I've got to stop this reverse-aging before we all shrivel up and suffer the agony of un-birth. Think, you disco duck, think!",Amy,What's that squirmal under your shirt?
Amy,What's that squirmal under your shirt?,Farnsworth,"Get off me, you parasitic lamprey!"
Farnsworth,"Get off me, you parasitic lamprey!",Zoidberg,your blood.
Zoidberg,your blood.,Farnsworth,"Would you all chill! I can't think with you kids cramping my style! Oh, I need a babysitter."
Farnsworth,"Would you all chill! I can't think with you kids cramping my style! Oh, I need a babysitter.",Leela,"OK, quiet time. I know, everyone pretend a goblin ate your tongue and I'll read you a story."
Leela,"OK, quiet time. I know, everyone pretend a goblin ate your tongue and I'll read you a story.",Zoidberg,"I can't see from down here, I can't."
Zoidberg,"I can't see from down here, I can't.",Leela,magazine. What would you rather hear about? Four-legged Chachi or tentacled Chachi?
Leela,magazine. What would you rather hear about? Four-legged Chachi or tentacled Chachi?,Fry,I wanna hear a space story!
Fry,I wanna hear a space story!,Farnsworth,"The Fountain of Aging? Hmm. It is just a legend. Still, they called the Tooth Fairy a legend and now he's head of the FBI."
Farnsworth,"The Fountain of Aging? Hmm. It is just a legend. Still, they called the Tooth Fairy a legend and now he's head of the FBI.",Farnsworth,Sup? Kids ready?
Farnsworth,Sup? Kids ready?,Fry,And drinking.
Fry,And drinking.,Farnsworth,I had a few beers but I'm cool to drive.
Farnsworth,I had a few beers but I'm cool to drive.,Leela,"I wish I could come with you to say goodbye, before you all turn back in to grown-ups but I'm grounded for knocking the school over."
Leela,"I wish I could come with you to say goodbye, before you all turn back in to grown-ups but I'm grounded for knocking the school over.",Munda,"Who cares, Leela? It was just a public school. Now go with your friends, please."
Munda,"Who cares, Leela? It was just a public school. Now go with your friends, please.",Leela,No! A grounded teenager must be confined to her room!
Leela,No! A grounded teenager must be confined to her room!,Leela,Until she sneaks out!
Leela,Until she sneaks out!,Bender,"When I grow up, I wanna be a steam shovel!"
Bender,"When I grow up, I wanna be a steam shovel!",Leela,"According to this, the Fountain is located in the darkest, most ancient region of space, just past Teddy Bear Junction."
Leela,"According to this, the Fountain is located in the darkest, most ancient region of space, just past Teddy Bear Junction.",Farnsworth,Teddy Bear Junction: The worst scum-hole in the galaxy.
Farnsworth,Teddy Bear Junction: The worst scum-hole in the galaxy.,Farnsworth,"This solar system is, like, way old."
Farnsworth,"This solar system is, like, way old.",Leela,Look how high the asteroid belt is pulled up on that planet.
Leela,Look how high the asteroid belt is pulled up on that planet.,Farnsworth,"Newsflash! Everything's getting older the closer we get to that ancient, burnt-out sun."
Farnsworth,"Newsflash! Everything's getting older the closer we get to that ancient, burnt-out sun.",Leela,"Dude, the Fountain of Aging must be on the sun itself."
Leela,"Dude, the Fountain of Aging must be on the sun itself.",Farnsworth,Shut up! I was gonna say that!
Farnsworth,Shut up! I was gonna say that!,Leela,We've got to hurry. The kids have only one change of pants!
Leela,We've got to hurry. The kids have only one change of pants!,Farnsworth,Zoidberg! Get out of there!
Farnsworth,Zoidberg! Get out of there!,Zoidberg,"The current! It's too much, already! Help!"
Zoidberg,"The current! It's too much, already! Help!",Farnsworth,Jeepers!
Farnsworth,Jeepers!,Leela,Zoidberg is dead!
Leela,Zoidberg is dead!,Zoidberg,Funny story: I just reverted to the age where my siblings budded from me and my brother Norman split off and jumped in the fountain.
Zoidberg,Funny story: I just reverted to the age where my siblings budded from me and my brother Norman split off and jumped in the fountain.,Sibling,#1: He always had to be the centre of attention!
Sibling,#1: He always had to be the centre of attention!,Sibling,#2: Let him go!
Sibling,#2: Let him go!,Leela,Quick! Get them into the fountain!
Leela,Quick! Get them into the fountain!,Farnsworth.,"Once we're gwown up, you can go back to your famiwy. We'wl never bother you again."
Farnsworth.,"Once we're gwown up, you can go back to your famiwy. We'wl never bother you again.",Leela,"Well, you could bother me a little."
Leela,"Well, you could bother me a little.",Farnsworth,I can't hold on!
Farnsworth,I can't hold on!,Leela,I'm coming in after you!
Leela,I'm coming in after you!,Farnsworth,"No, Leela! You can't give up your childhood! You'll never have another chance at it!"
Farnsworth,"No, Leela! You can't give up your childhood! You'll never have another chance at it!",Fry,We did it! We're the right ages again!
Fry,We did it! We're the right ages again!,Leela,I think I might be a couple years younger.
Leela,I think I might be a couple years younger.,Amy,"Oh, me too!"
Amy,"Oh, me too!",Farnsworth,"Help! I'm still in mid-peril, you clods!"
Farnsworth,"Help! I'm still in mid-peril, you clods!",Leela,He's too far out! We can't reach him!
Leela,He's too far out! We can't reach him!,Farnsworth,"Pazuzu! Oh, you came back to me!"
Farnsworth,"Pazuzu! Oh, you came back to me!",Hermes,"Are you back to your original age, Professor?"
Hermes,"Are you back to your original age, Professor?",Farnsworth,Even older! Huzzah!
Farnsworth,Even older! Huzzah!,Fry,"I'm sorry you had to give up being a kid, Leela."
Fry,"I'm sorry you had to give up being a kid, Leela.",Leela,"Well, I guess every adult wants to be a kid again sometimes. But I worked hard to be the person I am."
Leela,"Well, I guess every adult wants to be a kid again sometimes. But I worked hard to be the person I am.",Fry,The fabulous person!
Fry,The fabulous person!,Leela,With friends like you guys--
Leela,With friends like you guys--,Fry,Fabulous friends!
Fry,Fabulous friends!,Leela,And I'm really happy I have that life back.
Leela,And I'm really happy I have that life back.,Farnsworth,"And you, my faithful fiend! How can I ever repay you?"
Farnsworth,"And you, my faithful fiend! How can I ever repay you?",Pazuzu,to you all!
Pazuzu,to you all!,Fry,"Delivery boy Philip J. Fry, reporting for duty."
Fry,"Delivery boy Philip J. Fry, reporting for duty.",Zoidberg,"Dr. Zoidberg, soaking in brine."
Zoidberg,"Dr. Zoidberg, soaking in brine.",Fry,"Interesting, interesting. Dr. Zoidberg, mission bag?"
Fry,"Interesting, interesting. Dr. Zoidberg, mission bag?",Zoidberg,"Packed and ready, sir."
Zoidberg,"Packed and ready, sir.",Fry,the mission!
Fry,the mission!,Leela,We're back from the mission!
Leela,We're back from the mission!,Fry,Wh-What? You went without me?
Fry,Wh-What? You went without me?,Bender,You were looking up curse words in the dictionary. It seemed like a better use of your time.
Bender,You were looking up curse words in the dictionary. It seemed like a better use of your time.,Fry,But-- But I'm the delivery boy.
Fry,But-- But I'm the delivery boy.,Leela,Don't worry. Everything went fine.
Leela,Don't worry. Everything went fine.,Bender,Better than usual!
Bender,Better than usual!,Leela,"We got medals! Good work, team! We really pulled together on this one."
Leela,"We got medals! Good work, team! We really pulled together on this one.",Zoidberg,They got medals.
Zoidberg,They got medals.,Fry,I'm real sorry I missed the mission. I wasn't there and you might have needed me.
Fry,I'm real sorry I missed the mission. I wasn't there and you might have needed me.,Bender,Nope.
Bender,Nope.,Fry,But if I'd been there I--
Fry,But if I'd been there I--,Bender,Nope.
Bender,Nope.,Fry,Look--
Fry,Look--,Bender,Nope.
Bender,Nope.,Fry,Bender's great--
Fry,Bender's great--,Bender,Nope!
Bender,Nope!,Fry,"Listen, Leela, let me make it up by taking you out to dinner tonight."
Fry,"Listen, Leela, let me make it up by taking you out to dinner tonight.",Leela,I've got a date with Chaz.
Leela,I've got a date with Chaz.,Fry,Chaz?
Fry,Chaz?,Leela,I met him at that charity cock fight last week. He's the mayor's aide.
Leela,I met him at that charity cock fight last week. He's the mayor's aide.,Bender,"Ooh! You go, mutant girl!"
Bender,"Ooh! You go, mutant girl!",Leela,I do go! He's a very important man.
Leela,I do go! He's a very important man.,Fry,don't do it.
Fry,don't do it.,Fry,comics who are more important than me.
Fry,comics who are more important than me.,Bender.,You have the power! Name it and I'm there. You the man!
Bender.,You have the power! Name it and I'm there. You the man!,Fry,"Um, OK. Let's go bowling."
Fry,"Um, OK. Let's go bowling.",Bender,Nah.
Bender,Nah.,Elzar,Table for two? Step right this way.
Elzar,Table for two? Step right this way.,Chaz,"... I'm the mayor's aide. Table for two, please."
Chaz,"... I'm the mayor's aide. Table for two, please.",Elzar,OK then.
Elzar,OK then.,Elzar,Bam!
Elzar,Bam!,Chaz,health inspection.
Chaz,health inspection.,Elzar,Here you go. Compliments of the house.
Elzar,Here you go. Compliments of the house.,Leela,Wow! Free bread at a restaurant? Is there anything you can't do?
Leela,Wow! Free bread at a restaurant? Is there anything you can't do?,Chaz,I can't fail the mayor. Not ever.
Chaz,I can't fail the mayor. Not ever.,Fry,"Oh, jeez! Better not let Leela see me."
Fry,"Oh, jeez! Better not let Leela see me.",Leela,"Boy, am I glad you're here."
Leela,"Boy, am I glad you're here.",Fry,You are? So things aren't working out with whatshisname?
Fry,You are? So things aren't working out with whatshisname?,Leela,"Actually ... they are! Confidentially, I might not make it back to my apartment tonight! Could you walk Nibbler for me?"
Leela,"Actually ... they are! Confidentially, I might not make it back to my apartment tonight! Could you walk Nibbler for me?",Fry,Um ... uh...
Fry,Um ... uh...,Leela,Have a great night!
Leela,Have a great night!,Fry,Perfect!
Fry,Perfect!,Smitty,Whoa! Smells like a 289 in progress.
Smitty,Whoa! Smells like a 289 in progress.,URL,"Failure to scoop. Aw, yeah!"
URL,"Failure to scoop. Aw, yeah!",Fry,Wait! I'm trying. It weighs as much as a thousand suns.
Fry,Wait! I'm trying. It weighs as much as a thousand suns.,Chaz,"Don't worry, Fry. I'll pull some strings -- see if I can't get you tried as a juvenile."
Chaz,"Don't worry, Fry. I'll pull some strings -- see if I can't get you tried as a juvenile.",Leela,"Oh, Chaz!"
Leela,"Oh, Chaz!",Fry,I'm as worthless as this trash can.
Fry,I'm as worthless as this trash can.,Trash,"Can: You think I'm as worthless as you? Try catching garbage in your head and raising six kids, you dumb townie!"
Trash,"Can: You think I'm as worthless as you? Try catching garbage in your head and raising six kids, you dumb townie!",Fry,"Oh, Nibbler, at least I'm important to you. Even if it's only 'cause I clean up you poop."
Fry,"Oh, Nibbler, at least I'm important to you. Even if it's only 'cause I clean up you poop.",Nibbler,The poop eradication is but one aspect of your importance.
Nibbler,The poop eradication is but one aspect of your importance.,Fry,D-D-Did you just talk?
Fry,D-D-Did you just talk?,Nibbler,Indeed. And I have other amazing powers as well.
Nibbler,Indeed. And I have other amazing powers as well.,Fry,Like what?
Fry,Like what?,Fry,Are you my mommy?
Fry,Are you my mommy?,Nibbler,Negative.
Nibbler,Negative.,Fiona,"Welcome, Lord Nibbler."
Fiona,"Welcome, Lord Nibbler.",Nibbler,Welcome acknowledged. I bring with me ... the Mighty One.
Nibbler,Welcome acknowledged. I bring with me ... the Mighty One.,Fry,Eh?
Fry,Eh?,Ken,"At last, our centuries upon centuries of waiting have achieved fruition."
Ken,"At last, our centuries upon centuries of waiting have achieved fruition.",Fry,Aw! Aren't you a fuzzy wittle guy?
Fry,Aw! Aren't you a fuzzy wittle guy?,Ken,"Stop that! Uh, please. Your Mightiness--"
Ken,"Stop that! Uh, please. Your Mightiness--",Fry,Mightiness? Are you off your nut? I just got kidnapped by a bunch of guinea pigs.
Fry,Mightiness? Are you off your nut? I just got kidnapped by a bunch of guinea pigs.,Ken,Does he not know?
Ken,Does he not know?,Nibbler,He does not know.
Nibbler,He does not know.,Fiona,He knows not?
Fiona,He knows not?,Nibbler,Knows not does he.
Nibbler,Knows not does he.,Nibblonian,Not he know--
Nibblonian,Not he know--,Ken,"Enough! Fry, it is my duty to inform you that the fate of humanity, the fate of our race, indeed the fate of all that exists and ever will exist rests with you. You are the single most important person in the universe."
Ken,"Enough! Fry, it is my duty to inform you that the fate of humanity, the fate of our race, indeed the fate of all that exists and ever will exist rests with you. You are the single most important person in the universe.",Fry,"Oh, snap!"
Fry,"Oh, snap!",Nibbler,"On this auspicious occasion, let the horn of eternity cut a thunderous blast."
Nibbler,"On this auspicious occasion, let the horn of eternity cut a thunderous blast.",Fiona,The Feast of a Thousand Beasts is begun.
Fiona,The Feast of a Thousand Beasts is begun.,Nibblonian,You gonna eat that?
Nibblonian,You gonna eat that?,Fry,Maybe later.
Fry,Maybe later.,Ken,The time has come to discuss matters of the gravest importance.
Ken,The time has come to discuss matters of the gravest importance.,Nibbler,"Fry, do you remember some months ago when the Earth was attacked by flying brains?"
Nibbler,"Fry, do you remember some months ago when the Earth was attacked by flying brains?",Fry,remember! But no one else does. They said I was crazy.
Fry,remember! But no one else does. They said I was crazy.,Ken,On the contrary. You remember because you were the only one immune to the Brains' mental attack.
Ken,On the contrary. You remember because you were the only one immune to the Brains' mental attack.,Fry,Because I'm so smart?
Fry,Because I'm so smart?,Ken,It's a genetic abnormality which resulted when you went back in time and performed certain actions which made you your own grandfather.
Ken,It's a genetic abnormality which resulted when you went back in time and performed certain actions which made you your own grandfather.,Fry,I did do the nasty in the past-y!
Fry,I did do the nasty in the past-y!,Nibbler,Verily. And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains. You are the last hope of the universe.
Nibbler,Verily. And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains. You are the last hope of the universe.,Fry,So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?
Fry,So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?,Ken,Yes. Except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.
Ken,Yes. Except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.,Nibbler,"For a thousand years, the evil Brains have been constructing the Infosphere, a giant memory bank twice the size of three ordinary memory banks."
Nibbler,"For a thousand years, the evil Brains have been constructing the Infosphere, a giant memory bank twice the size of three ordinary memory banks.",Fry,What's so evil about that?
Fry,What's so evil about that?,Fiona,They plan to collect all the information in the universe and store it in the sphere.
Fiona,They plan to collect all the information in the universe and store it in the sphere.,Fry,So they're trying to learn things?
Fry,So they're trying to learn things?,Fiona,Right.
Fiona,Right.,Fry,Those bastards!
Fry,Those bastards!,Nibbler,"Being Brains, they feel compelled to know everything. And soon they will."
Nibbler,"Being Brains, they feel compelled to know everything. And soon they will.",Fry,I'm as mad as I've ever been.
Fry,I'm as mad as I've ever been.,Ken,"Once their task is complete, they will ensure that no new information arises in the only way possible: By destroying the universe."
Ken,"Once their task is complete, they will ensure that no new information arises in the only way possible: By destroying the universe.",Fry,Now it's personal.
Fry,Now it's personal.,Fiona,"Your mission is to infiltrate the Infosphere and plant this quantum-interface bomb, blasting them into an alternate universe from which there is no return."
Fiona,"Your mission is to infiltrate the Infosphere and plant this quantum-interface bomb, blasting them into an alternate universe from which there is no return.",Nibbler,Then outrun the blast on this Scooty-Puff Jr.
Nibbler,Then outrun the blast on this Scooty-Puff Jr.,Fry,"OK, let's go through this once more--"
Fry,"OK, let's go through this once more--",Fry,Brains!
Fry,Brains!,Ken,"Fear not, Mighty One. Your missing brainwave makes you invisible to them, so long as you avoid intense thinking."
Ken,"Fear not, Mighty One. Your missing brainwave makes you invisible to them, so long as you avoid intense thinking.",Fry,"Sorry, what? I wasn't paying attention."
Fry,"Sorry, what? I wasn't paying attention.",Ken,That is most wise.
Ken,That is most wise.,Fry,Who?
Fry,Who?,Ken,"In a few seconds, the Brain will finish scanning the last bits of information in the universe."
Ken,"In a few seconds, the Brain will finish scanning the last bits of information in the universe.",Infosphere,"Beavers mate for life; 11 greater than 4; for quality carpets, visit Kaplan's carpet warehouse."
Infosphere,"Beavers mate for life; 11 greater than 4; for quality carpets, visit Kaplan's carpet warehouse.",Ken,"Now the Infosphere will open its protective crust so as to scan itself, completing its thousand year task."
Ken,"Now the Infosphere will open its protective crust so as to scan itself, completing its thousand year task.",Fiona,This is your one chance to enter the sphere. Scoot! Scoot now!
Fiona,This is your one chance to enter the sphere. Scoot! Scoot now!,Fry,I'm at the input console. I'm a little nervous and I've got brain in my buttcrack.
Fry,I'm at the input console. I'm a little nervous and I've got brain in my buttcrack.,Nibbler,Roger.
Nibbler,Roger.,Ken,"Once you press the detonator, you will have 60 seconds for an exciting escape."
Ken,"Once you press the detonator, you will have 60 seconds for an exciting escape.",Fry,"Hey, wait. This brain knows everything about everything, right?"
Fry,"Hey, wait. This brain knows everything about everything, right?",Ken,to be setting off a bomb.
Ken,to be setting off a bomb.,Fry,Is it true that postage stamp glue is made of--
Fry,Is it true that postage stamp glue is made of--,Huge,Brain: Correct. Toad mucus.
Huge,Brain: Correct. Toad mucus.,Ken,There's no time for this. Activate the bomb.
Ken,There's no time for this. Activate the bomb.,Fry,What really killed the dinosaurs?
Fry,What really killed the dinosaurs?,Huge,Brain: Me!
Huge,Brain: Me!,Computer,Voice: Unauthorized data access.
Computer,Voice: Unauthorized data access.,Fry,Uh-oh!
Fry,Uh-oh!,Big,Brain: Detecting trace amounts of mental activity. Possibly a dead weasel or a cartoon viewer.
Big,Brain: Detecting trace amounts of mental activity. Possibly a dead weasel or a cartoon viewer.,Fry,Ew! Gross. Cut it out!
Fry,Ew! Gross. Cut it out!,Brain,#1: Odd. He is immune to our psionic attack.
Brain,#1: Odd. He is immune to our psionic attack.,Brain,#2: Impossible! We're an ambitious young squad with everything to prove.
Brain,#2: Impossible! We're an ambitious young squad with everything to prove.,Big,Brain Huh?
Big,Brain Huh?,Brain,#2: A quantum-interface bomb? Are you insane in the membrane?
Brain,#2: A quantum-interface bomb? Are you insane in the membrane?,Fry,"You got it, poindexter!"
Fry,"You got it, poindexter!",Brain,"#1: Oh, not good!"
Brain,"#1: Oh, not good!",Computer,Voice: Detonation in T-60 Earth seconds.
Computer,Voice: Detonation in T-60 Earth seconds.,Brain,#3: You fool! You'll be transported to the other universe with us. Trapped there for all eternity.
Brain,#3: You fool! You'll be transported to the other universe with us. Trapped there for all eternity.,Brain,#1: And we'll form a tightly-knit clique that you won't be part of!
Brain,#1: And we'll form a tightly-knit clique that you won't be part of!,Fry,Well at least I did one important thing with my life: Leading good to victory over evil!
Fry,Well at least I did one important thing with my life: Leading good to victory over evil!,Nibbler,Yay!
Nibbler,Yay!,Ken,Exactly!
Ken,Exactly!,Big,"Brain: The Nibblonians? Good? Ha! During your last moments in this universe perhaps you should query our database concerning the night of December 31st, 1999."
Big,"Brain: The Nibblonians? Good? Ha! During your last moments in this universe perhaps you should query our database concerning the night of December 31st, 1999.",Fry,The day I got frozen? What about it?
Fry,The day I got frozen? What about it?,Nibbler,"No! Don't ask about that! It-It would be, uh ... boring!"
Nibbler,"No! Don't ask about that! It-It would be, uh ... boring!",Fry,"Ah, forget it then."
Fry,"Ah, forget it then.",Big,Brain: Query!
Big,Brain: Query!,Fry,"OK! Sheesh! What happened to me, Philip J. Fry, on the night of December 31st, 1999?"
Fry,"OK! Sheesh! What happened to me, Philip J. Fry, on the night of December 31st, 1999?",Huge,Brain: Clarification request: Are you the Philip J. Fry from Earth or the Philip J. Fry from Hovering Squidworld 97A?
Huge,Brain: Clarification request: Are you the Philip J. Fry from Earth or the Philip J. Fry from Hovering Squidworld 97A?,Big,"Brain: Earth, you fat idiot! Hurry up!"
Big,"Brain: Earth, you fat idiot! Hurry up!",Fry,"... Icy Wiener? Aw, crud!"
Fry,"... Icy Wiener? Aw, crud!",Fry,What the--
Fry,What the--,Fry,I-- I don't understand. You made me go in the freezer tube?
Fry,I-- I don't understand. You made me go in the freezer tube?,Computer,Voice: Detonation in T-15 seconds.
Computer,Voice: Detonation in T-15 seconds.,Fry,You little runts froze me! You took away my life!
Fry,You little runts froze me! You took away my life!,Nibbler,We can explain!
Nibbler,We can explain!,Fry,"No, you can't. Shut your adorable trap!"
Fry,"No, you can't. Shut your adorable trap!",Nibbler,We had no choice. You were the only one who could help us. What is one life weighed against the entire universe?
Nibbler,We had no choice. You were the only one who could help us. What is one life weighed against the entire universe?,Fry,life.
Fry,life.,Computer,"Voice: Detonation in two, one. Will the owner of a white Pontiac Firebird-- Oh, never mind. Zero!"
Computer,"Voice: Detonation in two, one. Will the owner of a white Pontiac Firebird-- Oh, never mind. Zero!",Big,"Brain: Well, here we are. Trapped for eternity."
Big,"Brain: Well, here we are. Trapped for eternity.",Brain,#2.
Brain,#2.,Fry,Go ahead. I deserve it. I wish those stupid racoons had never brought me to the future.
Fry,Go ahead. I deserve it. I wish those stupid racoons had never brought me to the future.,Huge,Brain: I have shocking data relevant to this conversation.
Huge,Brain: I have shocking data relevant to this conversation.,Big,"Brain: We don't care, you dope! We're in another universe. You're not in charge anymore."
Big,"Brain: We don't care, you dope! We're in another universe. You're not in charge anymore.",Huge,"Brain: It is possible for the Philip Fry to resume his life on December 31st, 1999."
Huge,"Brain: It is possible for the Philip Fry to resume his life on December 31st, 1999.",Fry,Really? I can go back in time?
Fry,Really? I can go back in time?,Huge,Brain: There is a nexus point between universes at the space-time where you entered the cryogenic tube. You and only you can return there.
Huge,Brain: There is a nexus point between universes at the space-time where you entered the cryogenic tube. You and only you can return there.,Big,Brain: Interesting. You could stop the Nibblonian from pushing you into the cryogenic tube.
Big,Brain: Interesting. You could stop the Nibblonian from pushing you into the cryogenic tube.,Fry,interesting. Why?
Fry,interesting. Why?,Big,Brain: It would be as if you never came to the future. You will have your life back and we will succeed in our plan to understand and destroy the universe.
Big,Brain: It would be as if you never came to the future. You will have your life back and we will succeed in our plan to understand and destroy the universe.,Fry,Everybody wins!
Fry,Everybody wins!,Brain,#2: The human will be returned to the past!
Brain,#2: The human will be returned to the past!,Narrator,Meanwhile.
Narrator,Meanwhile.,Leela,I love rocket skating! But the wait is always so long. Poor Fry once stood in line for six hours just to get me a ticket.
Leela,I love rocket skating! But the wait is always so long. Poor Fry once stood in line for six hours just to get me a ticket.,Chaz,Six hours? Pft! Sounds like a real nobody! But now it's time for somebody and some chick he's with to go skating.
Chaz,Six hours? Pft! Sounds like a real nobody! But now it's time for somebody and some chick he's with to go skating.,Leela,You reserved the whole rink?
Leela,You reserved the whole rink?,Chaz,"Yup. Buzzed ahead, let 'em know whose aide was coming by. The mayor's, that's whose."
Chaz,"Yup. Buzzed ahead, let 'em know whose aide was coming by. The mayor's, that's whose.",Leela,"Oh, Chaz!"
Leela,"Oh, Chaz!",Sally,"Mr. Vogel, I thought we was going skating."
Sally,"Mr. Vogel, I thought we was going skating.",Vogel,"No, we're not important enough. Everybody just hold hands until the bus driver comes back from his haircut."
Vogel,"No, we're not important enough. Everybody just hold hands until the bus driver comes back from his haircut.",Leela,"Aw, let's let those kids skate with us."
Leela,"Aw, let's let those kids skate with us.",Chaz,What? Seriously? I'm trying to impress you with my clout here.
Chaz,What? Seriously? I'm trying to impress you with my clout here.,Leela,"I know, and it's working. But think how much skating would mean to those kids."
Leela,"I know, and it's working. But think how much skating would mean to those kids.",Nina,We came here instead of eating today.
Nina,We came here instead of eating today.,Leela,This may be their only chance to skate in their whole lives. Who are we to say they can't?
Leela,This may be their only chance to skate in their whole lives. Who are we to say they can't?,Chaz,"Beat it, kids! Come back when you got connections!"
Chaz,"Beat it, kids! Come back when you got connections!",Vogel,"Alright, little ones, back to the orphanarium. You can slide around the gym in your socks."
Vogel,"Alright, little ones, back to the orphanarium. You can slide around the gym in your socks.",Sally,What socks?
Sally,What socks?,Chaz,So am I gonna get lucky tonight or what?
Chaz,So am I gonna get lucky tonight or what?,Fry,I hope your calculations are correct.
Fry,I hope your calculations are correct.,Big,Brain: Our calculations are always correct. For we are gigantic brains.
Big,Brain: Our calculations are always correct. For we are gigantic brains.,Brain,#2: Initiate space-time transfer.
Brain,#2: Initiate space-time transfer.,Nibbler,I hereby place an order for one cheese pizza.
Nibbler,I hereby place an order for one cheese pizza.,Panucci,"One pie, nothing good on it. Name?"
Panucci,"One pie, nothing good on it. Name?",Nibbler,I-period-C-period-Wiener.
Nibbler,I-period-C-period-Wiener.,Panucci,"Uh, talk a little louder. It sounds like you got some kind of tiny head on you or something."
Panucci,"Uh, talk a little louder. It sounds like you got some kind of tiny head on you or something.",Fry,"Hello? Pizza delivery for, uh ... Icy Wiener? Aw, crud!"
Fry,"Hello? Pizza delivery for, uh ... Icy Wiener? Aw, crud!",Fry,Gotcha!
Fry,Gotcha!,Nibbler,I don't understand.
Nibbler,I don't understand.,Fry,"Yes, you do! You came back in time to knock me into that freezer and now I came back in time to stop you."
Fry,"Yes, you do! You came back in time to knock me into that freezer and now I came back in time to stop you.",Nibbler,I did not come back in time. My people lack that ability.
Nibbler,I did not come back in time. My people lack that ability.,Fry,But ... I know you in the future. I-I cleaned your poop.
Fry,But ... I know you in the future. I-I cleaned your poop.,Nibbler,Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. You will meet me when I'm a thousand years older.
Nibbler,Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. You will meet me when I'm a thousand years older.,Fry,Not if you don't freeze me.
Fry,Not if you don't freeze me.,Nibbler,"Please. Our saviours foresee that in a thousand years, for one moment, the fate of the universe will depend on you. Since you will not live that long I must freeze you now."
Nibbler,"Please. Our saviours foresee that in a thousand years, for one moment, the fate of the universe will depend on you. Since you will not live that long I must freeze you now.",Fry,"Well, why couldn't you just ask me?"
Fry,"Well, why couldn't you just ask me?",Nibbler,We were afraid you would refuse.
Nibbler,We were afraid you would refuse.,Fry,Of course not. I love the future.
Fry,Of course not. I love the future.,Nibbler,Then why are you choking me right now?
Nibbler,Then why are you choking me right now?,Fry,Because I don't like being used.
Fry,Because I don't like being used.,Nibbler,Well now it's your choice. Is there nothing in the future worth saving?
Nibbler,Well now it's your choice. Is there nothing in the future worth saving?,Fry,Hm. Leela. But she doesn't think much of me.
Fry,Hm. Leela. But she doesn't think much of me.,Nibbler,"Ah, she must be The Other."
Nibbler,"Ah, she must be The Other.",Fry,What?
Fry,What?,Nibbler,"You must not give up on her. I am stationed on a distant world known as Vergon 6. But, if you return to the future, I will transfer to Earth to give you what help I can."
Nibbler,"You must not give up on her. I am stationed on a distant world known as Vergon 6. But, if you return to the future, I will transfer to Earth to give you what help I can.",Crowd,"Ten, nine, eight, seven..."
Crowd,"Ten, nine, eight, seven...",Fry,You really think I would have had a chance with Leela?
Fry,You really think I would have had a chance with Leela?,Nibbler,You must choose: The present or the future? To save yourself or to save Leela.
Nibbler,You must choose: The present or the future? To save yourself or to save Leela.,Crowd,One.
Crowd,One.,Fry,"Yes! Here I come, future! Oh, no! Wait! I'm gonna get trapped in the Infosphere again! Just remember that Scooty-Puff Jr. sucks."
Fry,"Yes! Here I come, future! Oh, no! Wait! I'm gonna get trapped in the Infosphere again! Just remember that Scooty-Puff Jr. sucks.",Nibbler,"In a thousand years, I'll get right on it."
Nibbler,"In a thousand years, I'll get right on it.",Narrator,"And so, a thousand years later, Fry once again infiltrated the Infosphere and set off his amazing bomb. Only this time..."
Narrator,"And so, a thousand years later, Fry once again infiltrated the Infosphere and set off his amazing bomb. Only this time...",Nibbler,Here.
Nibbler,Here.,Fry,"Whoa, thanks! If you ever need a saviour again, just ask."
Fry,"Whoa, thanks! If you ever need a saviour again, just ask.",Nibbler,"Oh, we will. We will."
Nibbler,"Oh, we will. We will.",Fry,"Man, I can't wait to tell everyone what happened."
Fry,"Man, I can't wait to tell everyone what happened.",Nibbler,"Uh, yes. Incidentally, I need to remain undercover so I'm blanking your memory."
Nibbler,"Uh, yes. Incidentally, I need to remain undercover so I'm blanking your memory.",Fry,"Huh. Did everything just taste purple for a second? Oh, well. Let's go home, you dumb poop machine."
Fry,"Huh. Did everything just taste purple for a second? Oh, well. Let's go home, you dumb poop machine.",Leela,"Bender, would you do the honours?"
Leela,"Bender, would you do the honours?",Bender,With gusto.
Bender,With gusto.,Fry,"Hey, Leela. I guess I got this for you."
Fry,"Hey, Leela. I guess I got this for you.",Leela,"Oh. Thank you. You know what, Fry? I don't care if you're not the most important person in the universe. It really makes me happy to see you right now."
Leela,"Oh. Thank you. You know what, Fry? I don't care if you're not the most important person in the universe. It really makes me happy to see you right now.",Fry,the most important person in the universe.
Fry,the most important person in the universe.,Fry,Yes!
Fry,Yes!,Shatner,"Shatner's log, airdate ... unknown."
Shatner,"Shatner's log, airdate ... unknown.",Shatner,"to recount the events I have witnessed. So, settle in. It all began--"
Shatner,"to recount the events I have witnessed. So, settle in. It all began--",Zapp,"Quiet, you! This court martial is now in session. The honourably sexy Zapp Brannigan residing. Bring in the accused."
Zapp,"Quiet, you! This court martial is now in session. The honourably sexy Zapp Brannigan residing. Bring in the accused.",Takei,"Oh, my!"
Takei,"Oh, my!",Zapp,"Philip J. Fry, you stand accused of travelling to the forbidden planet, Omega 3, a crime punishable by 12 concurrent death sentences. Do you understand the charges?"
Zapp,"Philip J. Fry, you stand accused of travelling to the forbidden planet, Omega 3, a crime punishable by 12 concurrent death sentences. Do you understand the charges?",Kif,"One beep for yes, two beeps for no."
Kif,"One beep for yes, two beeps for no.",Zapp,"Double yes. Guilty! I will now carry out the punishment. Kif, my gun."
Zapp,"Double yes. Guilty! I will now carry out the punishment. Kif, my gun.",Leela,Wait! He pled not guilty.
Leela,Wait! He pled not guilty.,Zapp,"Order in the court! Very well then, Mr. Fry. Please recount the events that led you to be guilty."
Zapp,"Order in the court! Very well then, Mr. Fry. Please recount the events that led you to be guilty.",Leela,"The Professor said he was taking a brief nap, so we only have time for six movies."
Leela,"The Professor said he was taking a brief nap, so we only have time for six movies.",Bender,Let's take these six Jim Carrey movies and record over them.
Bender,Let's take these six Jim Carrey movies and record over them.,Fry,movies!
Fry,movies!,Clerk,Everybody hit the deck!
Clerk,Everybody hit the deck!,Leela,Sh! Those words are forbidden!
Leela,Sh! Those words are forbidden!,Leela,Sh!
Leela,Sh!,Zoidberg,Shut your gills!
Zoidberg,Shut your gills!,Bender,That sound! It's patrol car 718! Hide him!
Bender,That sound! It's patrol car 718! Hide him!,Zapp,The court is intrigued. Perhaps we could hear more about these forbidden words from someone with a sexily seductive voice.
Zapp,The court is intrigued. Perhaps we could hear more about these forbidden words from someone with a sexily seductive voice.,Takei,wars.
Takei,wars.,Zapp,fans?
Zapp,fans?,Nichols,fandom had evolved from a loose association of nerds with skin problems into a full-blown religion.
Nichols,fandom had evolved from a loose association of nerds with skin problems into a full-blown religion.,Priest,And Scotty beamed them to the Klingon ship where they would be no Tribble at all.
Priest,And Scotty beamed them to the Klingon ship where they would be no Tribble at all.,Congregation,All power to the engines.
Congregation,All power to the engines.,Nichols,And so the Trekkies were executed in the manner most befitting virgins.
Nichols,And so the Trekkies were executed in the manner most befitting virgins.,Man,"He's dead, Jim!"
Man,"He's dead, Jim!",Nichols,"Finally, the sacred texts were banned."
Nichols,"Finally, the sacred texts were banned.",Takei,"The last copies of the 79 episodes and six movies were dumped on the forbidden world, Omega 3, along with that blooper reel where the door doesn't close all the way."
Takei,"The last copies of the 79 episodes and six movies were dumped on the forbidden world, Omega 3, along with that blooper reel where the door doesn't close all the way.",Nimoy,was forever scoured from human memory.
Nimoy,was forever scoured from human memory.,Bender,Another classic science-fiction show cancelled before its time.
Bender,Another classic science-fiction show cancelled before its time.,Zapp,I've never heard of such a brutal and shocking injustice that I cared so little about. Next witness.
Zapp,I've never heard of such a brutal and shocking injustice that I cared so little about. Next witness.,Kif,"Bender the robot, please take the stand."
Kif,"Bender the robot, please take the stand.",Fry,"She's all yours, buddy!"
Fry,"She's all yours, buddy!",Zapp,Please use the beeps.
Zapp,Please use the beeps.,Fry,"Mr. Nimoy, I came as soon as I heard what happened centuries ago. I can't believe your show was banned."
Fry,"Mr. Nimoy, I came as soon as I heard what happened centuries ago. I can't believe your show was banned.",Nimoy,I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
Nimoy,I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.,Fry,"You know. 1966? 79 episodes, about 30 good ones."
Fry,"You know. 1966? 79 episodes, about 30 good ones.",Nimoy,"Oh, really, I've done too many things to remember one particular TV series. But if-if you want to discuss my books of poetry--"
Nimoy,"Oh, really, I've done too many things to remember one particular TV series. But if-if you want to discuss my books of poetry--",Fry,Come on! Remember that episode where you got high on spores and smacked Kirk around?
Fry,Come on! Remember that episode where you got high on spores and smacked Kirk around?,Nimoy,"No. Perhaps you're thinking of my one man show about Vincent van Spock-- Uh, uh, I mean van Gogh! Damn!"
Nimoy,"No. Perhaps you're thinking of my one man show about Vincent van Spock-- Uh, uh, I mean van Gogh! Damn!",Fry,Aha! You can't escape it!
Fry,Aha! You can't escape it!,Nimoy,"Oh, you're right, I can't."
Nimoy,"Oh, you're right, I can't.",Fry,"Uh, jeez, don't get upset. I mean, OK, I outwitted you, but--"
Fry,"Uh, jeez, don't get upset. I mean, OK, I outwitted you, but--",Nimoy,"No, it's my fellow cast members. 300 years ago they left Earth behind."
Nimoy,"No, it's my fellow cast members. 300 years ago they left Earth behind.",Shatner,"This planet doesn't appreciate us anymore, Leonard."
Shatner,"This planet doesn't appreciate us anymore, Leonard.",Nimoy,"Bill, you are, and always shall be, my friend. But I just signed a six-month lease on my apartment. I can't walk away from a commitment like that."
Nimoy,"Bill, you are, and always shall be, my friend. But I just signed a six-month lease on my apartment. I can't walk away from a commitment like that.",Shatner,"Very well, my friend."
Shatner,"Very well, my friend.",Nimoy,Why did the world turn it's back on our obvious greatness?
Nimoy,Why did the world turn it's back on our obvious greatness?,Fry,I'm literally angry with rage! Your co-stars may be gone but we can still get those episode tapes back for the whole world to see. Come on!
Fry,I'm literally angry with rage! Your co-stars may be gone but we can still get those episode tapes back for the whole world to see. Come on!,Nimoy,Oh!
Nimoy,Oh!,Frakes!,Front row!
Frakes!,Front row!,Leela,You can't go to Omega 3; it's forbidden! I forbid you!
Leela,You can't go to Omega 3; it's forbidden! I forbid you!,Fry,to give people hope for the future.
Fry,to give people hope for the future.,Leela,But it's set 800 years in the past!
Leela,But it's set 800 years in the past!,Bender,"Yeah, why is this so important to you?"
Bender,"Yeah, why is this so important to you?",Fry,"'Cause it-it taught me so much. Like how you should accept people, whether they be black, white, Klingon or even female. But most importantly, when I didn't have any friends, it made me feel like maybe I did."
Fry,"'Cause it-it taught me so much. Like how you should accept people, whether they be black, white, Klingon or even female. But most importantly, when I didn't have any friends, it made me feel like maybe I did.",Leela,"Well, that is touchingly pathetic. I guess I can't let you go alone."
Leela,"Well, that is touchingly pathetic. I guess I can't let you go alone.",Bender,"I'll go too, with Leonard's permission, of course."
Bender,"I'll go too, with Leonard's permission, of course.",Leela,We're entering the Omega system.
Leela,We're entering the Omega system.,Computer,Voice: Warning: You are now in forbidden space.
Computer,Voice: Warning: You are now in forbidden space.,Bender,"Ooh, I'm so scared!"
Bender,"Ooh, I'm so scared!",Leela,I've lost control of the ship!
Leela,I've lost control of the ship!,Fry,"Oh, dip!"
Fry,"Oh, dip!",Nimoy,"Dip, indeed!"
Nimoy,"Dip, indeed!",Fry,It's all stuff from that forbidden show.
Fry,It's all stuff from that forbidden show.,Nimoy,"So many cardboard sets, so many memories. If only the others--"
Nimoy,"So many cardboard sets, so many memories. If only the others--",Shatner,I guess that's my cue.
Shatner,I guess that's my cue.,Nimoy,Bill!
Nimoy,Bill!,Shatner,L-Dog!
Shatner,L-Dog!,Nimoy,Hey! This is wonderful!
Nimoy,Hey! This is wonderful!,Shatner,"Oh, man."
Shatner,"Oh, man.",Nimoy,I feel like hugging you.
Nimoy,I feel like hugging you.,Shatner,And we're both men.
Shatner,And we're both men.,Nimoy,Welshie!
Nimoy,Welshie!,Fry,Welshie?
Fry,Welshie?,Nichols,We did some musical reunion specials in the 2200's but the guy who played Scotty had trouble yodelling.
Nichols,We did some musical reunion specials in the 2200's but the guy who played Scotty had trouble yodelling.,Takei,"Ever since then, Welshie has been a welcome participant in our escapades."
Takei,"Ever since then, Welshie has been a welcome participant in our escapades.",Fry,I can't believe it! How'd you all end up here?
Fry,I can't believe it! How'd you all end up here?,Shatner,"We were on our way to Welshie's cousin's house to stay in the guest room when our ship was pulled down to this planet and crashed, just like yours."
Shatner,"We were on our way to Welshie's cousin's house to stay in the guest room when our ship was pulled down to this planet and crashed, just like yours.",Koenig,"When we woke up, we had these bodies."
Koenig,"When we woke up, we had these bodies.",Fry,Say it in Russian!
Fry,Say it in Russian!,Koenig,Ven vee voke up vee had these wodies.
Koenig,Ven vee voke up vee had these wodies.,Fry,Now say nuclear wessels!
Fry,Now say nuclear wessels!,Koenig,No!
Koenig,No!,Takei,"You'll love it here. Everything is provided for us, and we never age. Check out these abs!"
Takei,"You'll love it here. Everything is provided for us, and we never age. Check out these abs!",Bender,Yowza!
Bender,Yowza!,Leela,But who's doing all this for you?
Leela,But who's doing all this for you?,Shatner,"You know, we never thought about it. We're famous celebrities -- we're used to this sort of treatment."
Shatner,"You know, we never thought about it. We're famous celebrities -- we're used to this sort of treatment.",Melllvar,It is I!
Melllvar,It is I!,Bender,Whoa! What a cheesy effect!
Bender,Whoa! What a cheesy effect!,Melllvar,I am not an effect! You doubt my power?
Melllvar,I am not an effect! You doubt my power?,Bender,I do.
Bender,I do.,Welshie,Aye!
Welshie,Aye!,Fry,Welshie!
Fry,Welshie!,Zapp,"This court will now hear some very sensual testimony from this court's ex-lover, Turanga Leela."
Zapp,"This court will now hear some very sensual testimony from this court's ex-lover, Turanga Leela.",Leela,yourself.
Leela,yourself.,Melllvar,"Behold another power, different from the one you saw earlier."
Melllvar,"Behold another power, different from the one you saw earlier.",Nimoy,"Hey, a body! Buff, tan. Yeah, this is mine, alright!"
Nimoy,"Hey, a body! Buff, tan. Yeah, this is mine, alright!",Fry,"Alright, you gas, what's the deal?"
Fry,"Alright, you gas, what's the deal?",Fry,than me!
Fry,than me!,Melllvar,"Long have I waited for the one who played Spock. At last, we can begin."
Melllvar,"Long have I waited for the one who played Spock. At last, we can begin.",Fry,convention!
Fry,convention!,Nimoy,"Uh, Melllvar, can you give us some idea of how long this is going to last?"
Nimoy,"Uh, Melllvar, can you give us some idea of how long this is going to last?",Melllvar,Until time stops.
Melllvar,Until time stops.,Leela,What?
Leela,What?,Shatner,He can't do this!
Shatner,He can't do this!,Nimoy,You can't be serious!
Nimoy,You can't be serious!,Melllvar,"Now, we have a full schedule of events--"
Melllvar,"Now, we have a full schedule of events--",Bender,leave?
Bender,leave?,Koenig,Good question!
Koenig,Good question!,Melllvar,"No, you have to stay even longer."
Melllvar,"No, you have to stay even longer.",Melllvar,"Um, uh, sign it to Melllvar. Melllvar has three L's."
Melllvar,"Um, uh, sign it to Melllvar. Melllvar has three L's.",Takei,I think I've done enough conventions to know how to spell Melllvar.
Takei,I think I've done enough conventions to know how to spell Melllvar.,Bender,Say nerd!
Bender,Say nerd!,All,Nerd!
All,Nerd!,Please,stand up.
Please,stand up.,Koenig,How can you do a spoken-word version of a rap song?
Koenig,How can you do a spoken-word version of a rap song?,Melllvar,He found a way.
Melllvar,He found a way.,Leela,For one hundred quatloos: Who did the captain maroon on Ceti Alpha V?
Leela,For one hundred quatloos: Who did the captain maroon on Ceti Alpha V?,Shatner,Khaaan!
Shatner,Khaaan!,Fry,Uh ... Khan?
Fry,Uh ... Khan?,Leela,Correct.
Leela,Correct.,Melllvar,fan.
Melllvar,fan.,Fry,fan script?
Fry,fan script?,Melllvar,I meant me! Melllvar is the ultimate fan!
Melllvar,I meant me! Melllvar is the ultimate fan!,Fry,"Oh, I was confused because the scoreboard says something different."
Fry,"Oh, I was confused because the scoreboard says something different.",Melllvar,"We have limited rehearsal time. Now, I didn't make enough copies of the script, so George and Walter will have to share."
Melllvar,"We have limited rehearsal time. Now, I didn't make enough copies of the script, so George and Walter will have to share.",Leela,"Uh, you probably don't want us to see you rehearsing, or it'll give away the ending."
Leela,"Uh, you probably don't want us to see you rehearsing, or it'll give away the ending.",Melllvar,That's right! The ending must not be ruined.
Melllvar,That's right! The ending must not be ruined.,Leela,We'll go wait in the ship.
Leela,We'll go wait in the ship.,Melllvar,OK.
Melllvar,OK.,Fry,Not till I get my 600 quatloos!
Fry,Not till I get my 600 quatloos!,Fry,This is wrong. We shouldn't have abandoned them there.
Fry,This is wrong. We shouldn't have abandoned them there.,Bender,"I dunno, I'm feeling pretty good about it."
Bender,"I dunno, I'm feeling pretty good about it.",Leela,"I didn't wanna leave them either, Fry, but what are we supposed to do?"
Leela,"I didn't wanna leave them either, Fry, but what are we supposed to do?",Fry,"Well, usually on the show someone would come up with a complicated plan then explain it with a simple analogy."
Fry,"Well, usually on the show someone would come up with a complicated plan then explain it with a simple analogy.",Leela,"Hmm. If we can re-route engine power through the primary weapons and reconfigure them to Melllvar's frequency, that should overload his electro-quantum structure."
Leela,"Hmm. If we can re-route engine power through the primary weapons and reconfigure them to Melllvar's frequency, that should overload his electro-quantum structure.",Bender,Like putting too much air in a balloon!
Bender,Like putting too much air in a balloon!,Fry,Of course! It's so simple!
Fry,Of course! It's so simple!,Shatner,"Oh, Lord!"
Shatner,"Oh, Lord!",Nimoy,"Fascinating, Captain, and logical too, that we need some help."
Nimoy,"Fascinating, Captain, and logical too, that we need some help.",Takei,"Look, Captain, Melllvar will help us."
Takei,"Look, Captain, Melllvar will help us.",Koenig,"Keptin, I wope he will welp our ... vessel."
Koenig,"Keptin, I wope he will welp our ... vessel.",Melllvar,You're not acting hard enough!
Melllvar,You're not acting hard enough!,Nimoy,I got a magnificent performance out of Bill because I respected him so much.
Nimoy,I got a magnificent performance out of Bill because I respected him so much.,Shatner,"I got a magnificent performance out of me, because I respected me so much!"
Shatner,"I got a magnificent performance out of me, because I respected me so much!",Bender,OK! I'm done re-kafoobling the energy motron ... or whatever.
Bender,OK! I'm done re-kafoobling the energy motron ... or whatever.,Leela,Fire!
Leela,Fire!,Nichols,wrote it!
Nichols,wrote it!,Leela,It's not working! He's drawing straight from our weapons.
Leela,It's not working! He's drawing straight from our weapons.,Fry,Like a balloon and ... something bad happens.
Fry,Like a balloon and ... something bad happens.,Bender,Yup!
Bender,Yup!,Leela,"So, uh, how's rehearsal going?"
Leela,"So, uh, how's rehearsal going?",Melllvar,"while you, a crew of genuine space heroes, risked your lives to save them."
Melllvar,"while you, a crew of genuine space heroes, risked your lives to save them.",Nimoy,Hey! We've done heroic things too.
Nimoy,Hey! We've done heroic things too.,Nichols,Yeah! In the third season I kissed Shatner!
Nichols,Yeah! In the third season I kissed Shatner!,Melllvar,Silence! My whole world has turned upside-down. I have but one option.
Melllvar,Silence! My whole world has turned upside-down. I have but one option.,Koenig,Keep them and let us go?
Koenig,Keep them and let us go?,Melllvar,No! To determine who is more worthy of my fanatical devotion I shall pit you together against each other in armed combat ... to the death!
Melllvar,No! To determine who is more worthy of my fanatical devotion I shall pit you together against each other in armed combat ... to the death!,Bender,Where'd you get an idiotic idea like that?
Bender,Where'd you get an idiotic idea like that?,Melllvar,"Episodes 19, 46, 56 and 77."
Melllvar,"Episodes 19, 46, 56 and 77.",Fry,"Great list. Except, you forgot episode 66!"
Fry,"Great list. Except, you forgot episode 66!",Melllvar,I was getting to that one!
Melllvar,I was getting to that one!,Zapp,So Melllvar ordered a battle to the death. I assume no one survived.
Zapp,So Melllvar ordered a battle to the death. I assume no one survived.,Leela,Can we get on with this? My foot's getting tired!
Leela,Can we get on with this? My foot's getting tired!,Melllvar,"This will be your standard battle to the death. The only weapons: Whatever you can find. But I warn you, do nothing until I have signalled the start of combat. OK, start."
Melllvar,"This will be your standard battle to the death. The only weapons: Whatever you can find. But I warn you, do nothing until I have signalled the start of combat. OK, start.",Koenig,I don't have much experience at fighting -- except with you guys.
Koenig,I don't have much experience at fighting -- except with you guys.,Shatner,I have an idea. Wasn't there an episode where I threw my shoe at the enemy?
Shatner,I have an idea. Wasn't there an episode where I threw my shoe at the enemy?,Nimoy,You mean Doohan?
Nimoy,You mean Doohan?,Shatner,"Whoever it was, I did it like this."
Shatner,"Whoever it was, I did it like this.",Takei,Ow!
Takei,Ow!,Shatner,My foot's cold!
Shatner,My foot's cold!,Leela,There. We can make these into spears.
Leela,There. We can make these into spears.,Fry,And we can tie these caterpillars together to make bow strings for bows and arrows.
Fry,And we can tie these caterpillars together to make bow strings for bows and arrows.,Bender,That was fun!
Bender,That was fun!,Nichols,What if I distract them with my famous fan dance?
Nichols,What if I distract them with my famous fan dance?,Shatner,"Oh, that's good, good, good, good. And then, George, you give them a karate chop!"
Shatner,"Oh, that's good, good, good, good. And then, George, you give them a karate chop!",Takei.,Have I ever led you to believe I've studied karate?
Takei.,Have I ever led you to believe I've studied karate?,Shatner,"Well, no, but you never talk about yourself."
Shatner,"Well, no, but you never talk about yourself.",Takei,Maybe if you showed a little interest.
Takei,Maybe if you showed a little interest.,Fry,"Well, here goes nothing."
Fry,"Well, here goes nothing.",Nichols,"Hello, boys!"
Nichols,"Hello, boys!",Bender,Whoa!
Bender,Whoa!,Takei,Hi-yah!
Takei,Hi-yah!,Shatner,There's no right way to hit a woman.
Shatner,There's no right way to hit a woman.,Leela,Then do it the wrong way.
Leela,Then do it the wrong way.,Leela,Is that all you've got? Hi-yah!
Leela,Is that all you've got? Hi-yah!,Shatner,See you in h--
Shatner,See you in h--,Bender,"Come on, Walter!"
Bender,"Come on, Walter!",Nimoy,Take that!
Nimoy,Take that!,Fry,It hurts!
Fry,It hurts!,Nimoy,Ow! Ow! Ow!
Nimoy,Ow! Ow! Ow!,Koenig,My face!
Koenig,My face!,Takei,Ow! My face too!
Takei,Ow! My face too!,Shatner,Oh!
Shatner,Oh!,Melllvar,Excellent! Excellent!
Melllvar,Excellent! Excellent!,Shatner,"Leela, please. This is exactly what Melllvar wants. We're just pawns in his diabolical game of checkers. Can't we resolve our differences some other way?"
Shatner,"Leela, please. This is exactly what Melllvar wants. We're just pawns in his diabolical game of checkers. Can't we resolve our differences some other way?",Melllvar's,Mother: Melllvar! Dinner time!
Melllvar's,Mother: Melllvar! Dinner time!,Melllvar,"Aw, but Mom, I'm playing with my collectables!"
Melllvar,"Aw, but Mom, I'm playing with my collectables!",Melllvar's,Mother!
Melllvar's,Mother!,Fry,"All this time we thought he was a powerful super-being, yet he was just a child."
Fry,"All this time we thought he was a powerful super-being, yet he was just a child.",Melllvar's,"Mother: He's not a child, he's 34!"
Melllvar's,"Mother: He's not a child, he's 34!",Bender,"Alright, Koenig, I've wanted to do this for years!"
Bender,"Alright, Koenig, I've wanted to do this for years!",Fry,"Bender, wait! This is our chance to escape, before Melllvar comes back. But we all need to work together."
Fry,"Bender, wait! This is our chance to escape, before Melllvar comes back. But we all need to work together.",Shatner,I love you so much!
Shatner,I love you so much!,Nimoy,Hello?
Nimoy,Hello?,Fry,We've decided to work together.
Fry,We've decided to work together.,Nimoy,"Uh, so did they."
Nimoy,"Uh, so did they.",Shatner,"Now, how do we escape?"
Shatner,"Now, how do we escape?",Leela,We can't use our ship; we have life support but the engines are wrecked.
Leela,We can't use our ship; we have life support but the engines are wrecked.,Takei,"Ironic, because our engines work but our life support systems don't."
Takei,"Ironic, because our engines work but our life support systems don't.",Leela,"Hey, if your engines work--"
Leela,"Hey, if your engines work--",Takei,And your life support systems work--
Takei,And your life support systems work--,Fry,"Think, Fry, think! Everyone's depending on you."
Fry,"Think, Fry, think! Everyone's depending on you.",Leela,"We're too heavy. You guys need to lose some weight, fast!"
Leela,"We're too heavy. You guys need to lose some weight, fast!",Fry,"Look, Leonard, we're light enough to keep the tapes! Isn't that great?"
Fry,"Look, Leonard, we're light enough to keep the tapes! Isn't that great?",Nimoy,I'm living in a gefilte fish jar.
Nimoy,I'm living in a gefilte fish jar.,Fry,We did it!
Fry,We did it!,Fry,Melllvar's got a spaceship!
Fry,Melllvar's got a spaceship!,Melllvar,"Yes, in mint condition. And you made me take it out of the package!"
Melllvar,"Yes, in mint condition. And you made me take it out of the package!",Leela,The Nimbus! We're saved!
Leela,The Nimbus! We're saved!,Zapp,You're under arrest. Prepare to be boarded.
Zapp,You're under arrest. Prepare to be boarded.,Zapp,"So I boarded you, eh? What happened next?"
Zapp,"So I boarded you, eh? What happened next?",Leela,"You started this stupid court martial. Now if you don't mind, we're still fighting Melllvar!"
Leela,"You started this stupid court martial. Now if you don't mind, we're still fighting Melllvar!",Leela,One more hit and we're done for!
Leela,One more hit and we're done for!,Takei,"Let's take 'em out with us. Do you guys have a self-destruct code? Like destruct sequence 1-A, 2-B, 3--"
Takei,"Let's take 'em out with us. Do you guys have a self-destruct code? Like destruct sequence 1-A, 2-B, 3--",Bender,"Thanks a lot, Takei, now everybody knows!"
Bender,"Thanks a lot, Takei, now everybody knows!","Melllvar,",no one will! Prepare to die!
"Melllvar,",no one will! Prepare to die!,Fry,"Wait! If they mean that much to you, why do you wanna kill them?"
Fry,"Wait! If they mean that much to you, why do you wanna kill them?",Melllvar,Because I ... I ... I dunno what I'd do without them.
Melllvar,Because I ... I ... I dunno what I'd do without them.,"Fry,",he became an actor.
"Fry,",he became an actor.,Koenig,"Not just an actor, but a well-rounded person, with my own friends and credit cards and keys."
Koenig,"Not just an actor, but a well-rounded person, with my own friends and credit cards and keys.",Melllvar,"Well, I guess I could move out of my parents' basement ... maybe get a temp job."
Melllvar,"Well, I guess I could move out of my parents' basement ... maybe get a temp job.",Fry,"Whoa, whoa! One step at a time."
Fry,"Whoa, whoa! One step at a time.",Melllvar,"I thank you, Fry. You know, you and I are of a kind. In a different reality I could have called you friend."
Melllvar,"I thank you, Fry. You know, you and I are of a kind. In a different reality I could have called you friend.",Melllvar,"More like episode nine, loser! In your face! Victory is mine!"
Melllvar,"More like episode nine, loser! In your face! Victory is mine!",Shatner,"I wonder, my friends, was he really such an evil energy gas?"
Shatner,"I wonder, my friends, was he really such an evil energy gas?",Nichols,He did give us eternal youth.
Nichols,He did give us eternal youth.,Koenig,24-hour Laundromat.
Koenig,24-hour Laundromat.,Takei,"A full assortment of rum, both spiced and regular."
Takei,"A full assortment of rum, both spiced and regular.",Nimoy,"Truly, it was a paradise."
Nimoy,"Truly, it was a paradise.",Fry,fan.
Fry,fan.,Shatner,Let's get the hell outta here!
Shatner,Let's get the hell outta here!,Bender,"Boy, I tell you, buddy!"
Bender,"Boy, I tell you, buddy!",Farnsworth,"Bad news, everyone. You're not good enough to go on your next mission."
Farnsworth,"Bad news, everyone. You're not good enough to go on your next mission.",Fry,Hooray!
Fry,Hooray!,Bender,Not good enough!
Bender,Not good enough!,Leela,Why? Says who?
Leela,Why? Says who?,Farnsworth,Because. And says me. It's an extremely dangerous mission that killed my last crew. And you're not nearly as good as them.
Farnsworth,Because. And says me. It's an extremely dangerous mission that killed my last crew. And you're not nearly as good as them.,Fry,Woo-hoo!
Fry,Woo-hoo!,Bender,We live to suck another day!
Bender,We live to suck another day!,Leela,We're just as good as any of those other crews you sent to their deaths. What's the mission?
Leela,We're just as good as any of those other crews you sent to their deaths. What's the mission?,Farnsworth,Collecting honey. Ordinary honey.
Farnsworth,Collecting honey. Ordinary honey.,Leela,That doesn't sound so dangerous.
Leela,That doesn't sound so dangerous.,Farnsworth,This is no ordinary honey! It's produced by vicious space bees. A single sting of their hideous neuro-toxin can cause instant death.
Farnsworth,This is no ordinary honey! It's produced by vicious space bees. A single sting of their hideous neuro-toxin can cause instant death.,Hermes,"And that's if you're not allergic. You don't wanna know what happens then. Oh, no, no. God, no!"
Hermes,"And that's if you're not allergic. You don't wanna know what happens then. Oh, no, no. God, no!",Farnsworth,Your insides will boil out of your eye sockets like a science fair volcano.
Farnsworth,Your insides will boil out of your eye sockets like a science fair volcano.,Hermes,I didn't want to know!
Hermes,I didn't want to know!,Farnsworth,These bees are larger than most Buicks and twice as ugly.
Farnsworth,These bees are larger than most Buicks and twice as ugly.,Fry,How big is the honeycomb?
Fry,How big is the honeycomb?,Hermes,"Honeycomb's big. Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Hermes,"Honeycomb's big. Yeah, yeah, yeah.",Bender,It's not small?
Bender,It's not small?,Hermes,"No, no, no."
Hermes,"No, no, no.",Leela,"from doing our job. Come on, boys."
Leela,"from doing our job. Come on, boys.",Fry,"But, Leela, we're no good."
Fry,"But, Leela, we're no good.",Leela,"Listen, I'm scared too. But I'm more scared of disappointing myself."
Leela,"Listen, I'm scared too. But I'm more scared of disappointing myself.",Fry,I'm not scared of that at all.
Fry,I'm not scared of that at all.,Leela,"Now, bees communicate by dancing."
Leela,"Now, bees communicate by dancing.",Fry,"Like my parents! Oh, wait, that was hitting."
Fry,"Like my parents! Oh, wait, that was hitting.",Leela,So this language cartridge will let you distract them.
Leela,So this language cartridge will let you distract them.,Bender,You stink. Bender's great. Deal with it.
Bender,You stink. Bender's great. Deal with it.,Leela,"Bender, quick! Waggle something!"
Leela,"Bender, quick! Waggle something!",Bender,"Hello, fellow bees. How's the abdomen? Swollen with nectar, I trust?"
Bender,"Hello, fellow bees. How's the abdomen? Swollen with nectar, I trust?",Bee,Duh!
Bee,Duh!,Fry,"Leela, let's turn back. There's absolutely no shame in wussing out."
Fry,"Leela, let's turn back. There's absolutely no shame in wussing out.",Leela,Relax. Everything'll be fine.
Leela,Relax. Everything'll be fine.,Fry,"Oh, my God! The old Planet Express ship."
Fry,"Oh, my God! The old Planet Express ship.",Leela,There's the black box.
Leela,There's the black box.,Man,"Captain, the bees have us surrounded! Oh, the Professor was right. We're not as good as his old crew!"
Man,"Captain, the bees have us surrounded! Oh, the Professor was right. We're not as good as his old crew!",Captain,"Oh, Lord!"
Captain,"Oh, Lord!",Leela,"Uh, couldn't make that out. Too much static."
Leela,"Uh, couldn't make that out. Too much static.",Bender,Ew!
Bender,Ew!,Leela,We found it! The honeycomb hideout.
Leela,We found it! The honeycomb hideout.,Fry,"Hey, what's this goop?"
Fry,"Hey, what's this goop?",Leela,Royal jelly. They feed it to the queen.
Leela,Royal jelly. They feed it to the queen.,Fry,"Help! I can't swim in jelly, as far as I know!"
Fry,"Help! I can't swim in jelly, as far as I know!",Leela,"It's a baby queen! Aw, she's so cute! You adorable wittle, itty-bitty, fuzzy-wuzzy--"
Leela,"It's a baby queen! Aw, she's so cute! You adorable wittle, itty-bitty, fuzzy-wuzzy--",Fry!,I got jelly in my underpants!
Fry!,I got jelly in my underpants!,Leela,I'm taking this bee with us. With a queen we can build a hive and make more honey ourselves. Let me just pack her a lunch and we'll go.
Leela,I'm taking this bee with us. With a queen we can build a hive and make more honey ourselves. Let me just pack her a lunch and we'll go.,Bender,I didn't mean you're all fat. Just fatso there.
Bender,I didn't mean you're all fat. Just fatso there.,Bee,He insulted our fat queen.
Bee,He insulted our fat queen.,Queen,"You try keeping your figure after 10,000 kids."
Queen,"You try keeping your figure after 10,000 kids.",Leela,This is where we distinguish ourselves from the last crew. Activate emergency high-speed self-contained escape pack crisis response unit. Quick!
Leela,This is where we distinguish ourselves from the last crew. Activate emergency high-speed self-contained escape pack crisis response unit. Quick!,Leela,"Good luck, Bender!"
Leela,"Good luck, Bender!",Bender,"I'm back, baby!"
Bender,"I'm back, baby!",Fry,We made it! We're alive!
Fry,We made it! We're alive!,Leela,"Burn on that, old crew! The only things they did better than us were suck and die."
Leela,"Burn on that, old crew! The only things they did better than us were suck and die.",Fry,"Leela, we got lucky this time. But you should be more careful. I don't want anything to happen to you."
Fry,"Leela, we got lucky this time. But you should be more careful. I don't want anything to happen to you.",Leela,"Thanks, but I can look out for myself. Frankly, I can smell danger a mile away."
Leela,"Thanks, but I can look out for myself. Frankly, I can smell danger a mile away.",Fry,"You want her, you're gonna have to go through me!"
Fry,"You want her, you're gonna have to go through me!",Leela,He's... he's dead!
Leela,He's... he's dead!,Bender,Who will make Bender waffles just the way he likes them now?
Bender,Who will make Bender waffles just the way he likes them now?,Leela,It was all my fault! He died because of me!
Leela,It was all my fault! He died because of me!,Farnsworth,I'm lying to make her feel better!
Farnsworth,I'm lying to make her feel better!,LaBarbara,"Husband, can't you go anywhere without lighting something up?"
LaBarbara,"Husband, can't you go anywhere without lighting something up?",Hermes,It's an old Jamaican accounting tradition. We burn his timecard. That way his zombie doesn't come back looking for his final paycheck.
Hermes,It's an old Jamaican accounting tradition. We burn his timecard. That way his zombie doesn't come back looking for his final paycheck.,Amy,He looks so natural. It's funny to think he's clammed full of sawdust and preservatives.
Amy,He looks so natural. It's funny to think he's clammed full of sawdust and preservatives.,Zoidberg,I only wish I could have removed the stinger.
Zoidberg,I only wish I could have removed the stinger.,Changstein,"el Gamahl: I barely knew Philip. But, as a clergyman, I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him."
Changstein,"el Gamahl: I barely knew Philip. But, as a clergyman, I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him.",Hermes,Soothe us with sweet lies.
Hermes,Soothe us with sweet lies.,Changstein,el Gamahl We now commend Fry's body to the ages.
Changstein,el Gamahl We now commend Fry's body to the ages.,Amy,He's walking on sunshine now.
Amy,He's walking on sunshine now.,Farnsworth,This makes me the oldest member of my family.
Farnsworth,This makes me the oldest member of my family.,Kug,Him do good snu-snu.
Kug,Him do good snu-snu.,Bender,"All those times I said Kill all humans, I'd always whisper except one. Fry was that one. And I never told him so!"
Bender,"All those times I said Kill all humans, I'd always whisper except one. Fry was that one. And I never told him so!",Terry,"Farewell, from the world of tomorrow!"
Terry,"Farewell, from the world of tomorrow!",Leela,I feel funny. Ha-ha funny!
Leela,I feel funny. Ha-ha funny!,Fry,Leela?
Fry,Leela?,Leela,Fry? I thought you were dead.
Leela,Fry? I thought you were dead.,Fry,"Nope, I'm better than ever. Before the accident I couldn't do this!"
Fry,"Nope, I'm better than ever. Before the accident I couldn't do this!",Leela,Impressive! But it does sorta support my you-are-dead theory.
Leela,Impressive! But it does sorta support my you-are-dead theory.,Fry,There's a surprise for you in my locker. I got it at a Swedish novelty shop before we left.
Fry,There's a surprise for you in my locker. I got it at a Swedish novelty shop before we left.,Leela,It's too beautiful to open. Can I open it?
Leela,It's too beautiful to open. Can I open it?,Fry,Sure. There's just one thing I want you to do.
Fry,Sure. There's just one thing I want you to do.,Leela,What?
Leela,What?,Fry,I want you to wake up.
Fry,I want you to wake up.,Leela,Wake up? But I'm not--
Leela,Wake up? But I'm not--,Leela,In my dream Fry said he hid a gift for me in his locker. If it's true then he must still exist in some form.
Leela,In my dream Fry said he hid a gift for me in his locker. If it's true then he must still exist in some form.,Farnsworth,"Oh, I made myself sad."
Farnsworth,"Oh, I made myself sad.",Leela,"Well, here goes."
Leela,"Well, here goes.",Zoidberg,Bupkis!
Zoidberg,Bupkis!,Bender,"Well, I feel better now. Pawning all the stuff in Fry's locker helped give me closure."
Bender,"Well, I feel better now. Pawning all the stuff in Fry's locker helped give me closure.",Leela,Was there anything in there that might have been a gift for me?
Leela,Was there anything in there that might have been a gift for me?,Bender,Here it is.
Bender,Here it is.,Leela,You took this from Fry's locker?
Leela,You took this from Fry's locker?,Bender,"Hey, the guy's dead! There's no law against grave robbing."
Bender,"Hey, the guy's dead! There's no law against grave robbing.",Leela,That proves it. Fry is alive somewhere and he's reaching me in my dreams.
Leela,That proves it. Fry is alive somewhere and he's reaching me in my dreams.,Farnsworth,Bull pies!
Farnsworth,Bull pies!,Farnsworth,Lay down here and we'll do some tests. If Fry is out there then Leela's brain could be acting as a five-pound Ouija board.
Farnsworth,Lay down here and we'll do some tests. If Fry is out there then Leela's brain could be acting as a five-pound Ouija board.,Leela,Is this some sort of brain scanner?
Leela,Is this some sort of brain scanner?,Farnsworth,"Some sort, yes. In France it's called a guillotine."
Farnsworth,"Some sort, yes. In France it's called a guillotine.",Leela,Professor! Can't you examine my brain without removing it?
Leela,Professor! Can't you examine my brain without removing it?,Farnsworth,"Yes, easily."
Farnsworth,"Yes, easily.",Bender,"Hey, what if Fry wasn't actually dead when we buried him? Y'know like Julia Roberts?"
Bender,"Hey, what if Fry wasn't actually dead when we buried him? Y'know like Julia Roberts?",Farnsworth,I don't believe it!
Farnsworth,I don't believe it!,Leela,What is it? Is Fry alive in some other dimension or something?
Leela,What is it? Is Fry alive in some other dimension or something?,Farnsworth,"No. According to this gizmometer, Fry is dead and nothing can bring him back. Remarkable!"
Farnsworth,"No. According to this gizmometer, Fry is dead and nothing can bring him back. Remarkable!",Leela,But ... my dream. Your science can't unprove that! How could I have known the gift was in Fry's locker?
Leela,But ... my dream. Your science can't unprove that! How could I have known the gift was in Fry's locker?,Hermes,Easy! He told you about it before he died and your grief-roasted mind blocked it out.
Hermes,Easy! He told you about it before he died and your grief-roasted mind blocked it out.,Leela,Are you saying I'm going crazy?
Leela,Are you saying I'm going crazy?,Farnsworth,"No, no! No one's saying that. But I'm certainly thinking it loudly."
Farnsworth,"No, no! No one's saying that. But I'm certainly thinking it loudly.",Fry,"Hi, Leela! I'm just gonna keep talking, even if you can't hear me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
Fry,"Hi, Leela! I'm just gonna keep talking, even if you can't hear me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.",Leela,Shut up! I can hear you. The Professor says you're just a dream.
Leela,Shut up! I can hear you. The Professor says you're just a dream.,Fry,Could a dream take you dancing in a Venusian garden?
Fry,Could a dream take you dancing in a Venusian garden?,Leela,"Well, yes, technically. But it's still very sweet of you."
Leela,"Well, yes, technically. But it's still very sweet of you.",Leela,"Oh, Fry! You must be alive; I've never been treated so romantically by my own imagination before."
Leela,"Oh, Fry! You must be alive; I've never been treated so romantically by my own imagination before.",Fry,"Here, take my jacket. You look a little cold."
Fry,"Here, take my jacket. You look a little cold.",Leela,Thank you. It's all so beautiful. I forgot how many hundreds of degrees below zero it must be. I just wish I could convince the others you're alive.
Leela,Thank you. It's all so beautiful. I forgot how many hundreds of degrees below zero it must be. I just wish I could convince the others you're alive.,Fry,You can. All you have to do is wake up.
Fry,You can. All you have to do is wake up.,Leela,"No, no! Don't say that! This is real!"
Leela,"No, no! Don't say that! This is real!",Leela,Fry's jacket! The one he was buried in! My dream was real! He's alive!
Leela,Fry's jacket! The one he was buried in! My dream was real! He's alive!,Petunia,Not 'nymore!
Petunia,Not 'nymore!,Bender,That's better!
Bender,That's better!,Leela,Fry's alive! I have proof!
Leela,Fry's alive! I have proof!,Amy,No way!
Amy,No way!,Farnsworth,You lie!
Farnsworth,You lie!,Bender,You do not!
Bender,You do not!,Hermes,"I'm from Jamaica, the Show Me island. So show me you're blowing it out your fanny."
Hermes,"I'm from Jamaica, the Show Me island. So show me you're blowing it out your fanny.",Leela,But he gave me his jacket. Look.
Leela,But he gave me his jacket. Look.,Farnsworth,"That's not Fry's jacket. Fry's jacket is red. That's your jacket. An off-the-rack, lime green affair."
Farnsworth,"That's not Fry's jacket. Fry's jacket is red. That's your jacket. An off-the-rack, lime green affair.",Leela,But Fry-- His jacket-- And when I woke up it was on me.
Leela,But Fry-- His jacket-- And when I woke up it was on me.,Hermes,"You're under a lot of guilt stress, Leela. Here, work it off."
Hermes,"You're under a lot of guilt stress, Leela. Here, work it off.",Leela,"I am not under stress, damnit!"
Leela,"I am not under stress, damnit!",Amy,"Everything's going to be alright, Leela."
Amy,"Everything's going to be alright, Leela.",Leela,What?
Leela,What?,Amy,I said everything's going to be alright.
Amy,I said everything's going to be alright.,Leela,Oh. Maybe I am freaking out a little.
Leela,Oh. Maybe I am freaking out a little.,Bender,A little? You're screwier than my Aunt Rita. And she's a screw!
Bender,A little? You're screwier than my Aunt Rita. And she's a screw!,Leela,I need to calm down. I'd better take some more of that space honey.
Leela,I need to calm down. I'd better take some more of that space honey.,Farnsworth,"You've been taking space honey? Be careful, you purple-haired imbecile!"
Farnsworth,"You've been taking space honey? Be careful, you purple-haired imbecile!",Hermes,Never!
Hermes,Never!,Bender,Never!
Bender,Never!,Leela,Is that you? I don't need a sponge!
Leela,Is that you? I don't need a sponge!,Fry,Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?
Fry,Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?,Farnsworth,"Incredible! According to the gizmometer, Fry touched the royal jelly in the space hive, leaving an imprint of his DNA and brainwaves. Then, when it spilled on the couch, it recombined with trace amounts of Fry's hair and skin--"
Farnsworth,"Incredible! According to the gizmometer, Fry touched the royal jelly in the space hive, leaving an imprint of his DNA and brainwaves. Then, when it spilled on the couch, it recombined with trace amounts of Fry's hair and skin--",Bender,And blood! Don't forget about Fry's blood!
Bender,And blood! Don't forget about Fry's blood!,Farnsworth,"Yes, Bender, thank you. In short, the various fluids Fry left in the couch caused the royal jelly to regenerate his entire being."
Farnsworth,"Yes, Bender, thank you. In short, the various fluids Fry left in the couch caused the royal jelly to regenerate his entire being.",Fry,Neat!
Fry,Neat!,Bender,Let's go get hammered!
Bender,Let's go get hammered!,Zoidberg,"I should warn you, I'm a mean drunk."
Zoidberg,"I should warn you, I'm a mean drunk.",Leela,"Fry, I'm so glad I didn't kill you."
Leela,"Fry, I'm so glad I didn't kill you.",Fry,Me too.
Fry,Me too.,Leela,Feeling responsible for your death was driving me mad. But now everything is alright.
Leela,Feeling responsible for your death was driving me mad. But now everything is alright.,Fry,"Uh, not everything."
Fry,"Uh, not everything.",Leela,What? What do you mean?
Leela,What? What do you mean?,Fry,You have to wake up.
Fry,You have to wake up.,Leela,"Wake up? Oh, no! No! It can't be!"
Leela,"Wake up? Oh, no! No! It can't be!",Leela,Pooh!
Leela,Pooh!,Leela,"I'm cracking up. In my dreams I'm happy because Fry is alive. But when I'm awake, my mind plays tricks on me."
Leela,"I'm cracking up. In my dreams I'm happy because Fry is alive. But when I'm awake, my mind plays tricks on me.",Hermes,"Oh, take it easy, Leela."
Hermes,"Oh, take it easy, Leela.",Amy,In every life we have some trouble.
Amy,In every life we have some trouble.,Bender,"But when you worry, you make it double."
Bender,"But when you worry, you make it double.",Amy,and Bender: Don't worry! Bee happy!
Amy,and Bender: Don't worry! Bee happy!,Farnsworth,The landlord says your rent is late.
Farnsworth,The landlord says your rent is late.,Hermes,He might have to litigate.
Hermes,He might have to litigate.,Bender,But don't worry!
Bender,But don't worry!,Bee,Bee--
Bee,Bee--,Farnsworth,Happy!
Farnsworth,Happy!,Feh!,You wish!
Feh!,You wish!,Bee,Bee--
Bee,Bee--,Zoidberg,Happy!
Zoidberg,Happy!,Hermes,"Don't worry now, Amy!"
Hermes,"Don't worry now, Amy!",Amy,OK! I'm happy!
Amy,OK! I'm happy!,Bender,Don't worry!
Bender,Don't worry!,Bee,Bee--
Bee,Bee--,Bender,Happy!
Bender,Happy!,Leela,"Uh, were you just singing?"
Leela,"Uh, were you just singing?",Bender,"No, I was telling you not to worry. I'm not allowed to sing. Court order."
Bender,"No, I was telling you not to worry. I'm not allowed to sing. Court order.",Leela,"I'll find Fry's coffin, get his corpse and keep it under my mattress to remind me that he's really dead. That'll prove I'm not insane."
Leela,"I'll find Fry's coffin, get his corpse and keep it under my mattress to remind me that he's really dead. That'll prove I'm not insane.",Leela,"OK, it's just an ordinary coffin. Containing my ordinary dead friend, who I killed."
Leela,"OK, it's just an ordinary coffin. Containing my ordinary dead friend, who I killed.",Leela,What happened? Why am I in my apartment?
Leela,What happened? Why am I in my apartment?,Farnsworth,You killed Fry! You killed Fry! You killed Fry ...!
Farnsworth,You killed Fry! You killed Fry! You killed Fry ...!,Leela,Stop it! Stop it!
Leela,Stop it! Stop it!,Bender,You killed Fry!
Bender,You killed Fry!,Leela,"Here goes. Goodbye, waking world."
Leela,"Here goes. Goodbye, waking world.",Fry's,"Photo Listen to me, you don't want to lie in bed like a vegetable and do nothing the rest of your life. I've tried it. Bedsores hurt!"
Fry's,"Photo Listen to me, you don't want to lie in bed like a vegetable and do nothing the rest of your life. I've tried it. Bedsores hurt!",Leela,Then what am I s'posed to do?
Leela,Then what am I s'posed to do?,Fry's,Photo: Fight it!
Fry's,Photo: Fight it!,Leela,I can't!
Leela,I can't!,Fry's,Photo: You can! The Leela I know doesn't give up this easily.
Fry's,Photo: You can! The Leela I know doesn't give up this easily.,Leela,Go away!
Leela,Go away!,Fry's,"Photo: I don't know if you can hear me, Leela, but there's something I wanna tell you. I love you."
Fry's,"Photo: I don't know if you can hear me, Leela, but there's something I wanna tell you. I love you.",Leela,"I'm so scared, Fry. I don't know what to do."
Leela,"I'm so scared, Fry. I don't know what to do.",Fry's,"Photo: Just wake up, Leela. Please. Just wake up."
Fry's,"Photo: Just wake up, Leela. Please. Just wake up.",Leela,I don't understand what you mean!
Leela,I don't understand what you mean!,Fry,"Just wake up. Please. Just wake up, Leela."
Fry,"Just wake up. Please. Just wake up, Leela.",Leela,Fry. You're alive!
Leela,Fry. You're alive!,Fry,Leela! You're awake!
Fry,Leela! You're awake!,Leela,Where am I?
Leela,Where am I?,Fry,In the hospital. The ambulance took you here right after the bee stung you.
Fry,In the hospital. The ambulance took you here right after the bee stung you.,Leela.,It barely touched me.
Leela.,It barely touched me.,Fry,The stinger went right through me and you got all the poison. My new spleen came from a guy who liked to motorcycle.
Fry,The stinger went right through me and you got all the poison. My new spleen came from a guy who liked to motorcycle.,Hermes,Sweet three-toed sloth of ice planet Hoth! She's awake!
Hermes,Sweet three-toed sloth of ice planet Hoth! She's awake!,Bender,You were in the best coma I've ever seen!
Bender,You were in the best coma I've ever seen!,Amy,The doctor said you'd never wake up.
Amy,The doctor said you'd never wake up.,Leela,Really? How long was I out?
Leela,Really? How long was I out?,Amy,Two weeks. Fry never left your side for a minute.
Amy,Two weeks. Fry never left your side for a minute.,Zoidberg,"And he talked non-stop. Like a parrot of the sea, he was!"
Zoidberg,"And he talked non-stop. Like a parrot of the sea, he was!",Fry,I though that maybe if you heard a familiar voice it might help keep your mind together. But who knows if it really got through.
Fry,I though that maybe if you heard a familiar voice it might help keep your mind together. But who knows if it really got through.,Leela,It got through.
Leela,It got through.,Leela,You could really use a shower.
Leela,You could really use a shower.,Fry,You too!
Fry,You too!,TV,Commentator will return next week at its regular time.
TV,Commentator will return next week at its regular time.,Fry,So who should I root for? America or one of those countries I learned about at the food court?
Fry,So who should I root for? America or one of those countries I learned about at the food court?,Amy,How 'bout those guys?
Amy,How 'bout those guys?,Leela,"No, they're from the Republic of French Stereotypes. Everybody hates them."
Leela,"No, they're from the Republic of French Stereotypes. Everybody hates them.",Farnsworth,Sweden? I don't think so!
Farnsworth,Sweden? I don't think so!,Hermes,"Go on, stick, touch me! Can't do it!"
Hermes,"Go on, stick, touch me! Can't do it!",LaBarbara,"Husband, you haven't been an Olympic-class limbo-er for 20 years! Quit lying to your podgy self."
LaBarbara,"Husband, you haven't been an Olympic-class limbo-er for 20 years! Quit lying to your podgy self.",Leela,It does seem like Jamaica will be able to field a strong limbo team without you.
Leela,It does seem like Jamaica will be able to field a strong limbo team without you.,Amy,"Yeah, isn't that basically all Jamaicans do?"
Amy,"Yeah, isn't that basically all Jamaicans do?",Hermes,Jamaicans have other interests. Which is why the limbo team got detained at the airport.
Hermes,Jamaicans have other interests. Which is why the limbo team got detained at the airport.,LaBarbara,my husband to step in and make an ass out of himself.
LaBarbara,my husband to step in and make an ass out of himself.,Hermes,And I said I'd try my very best.
Hermes,And I said I'd try my very best.,"Fry,",since the old days?
"Fry,",since the old days?,Hermes,I described it to them on the phone ... using a series of artful euphemisms.
Hermes,I described it to them on the phone ... using a series of artful euphemisms.,Farnsworth,"It redistributes his weight, shifting his centre of gravity closer to his knees."
Farnsworth,"It redistributes his weight, shifting his centre of gravity closer to his knees.",Hermes,"Oh, those haven't descended in years."
Hermes,"Oh, those haven't descended in years.",Farnsworth,a limbo-er's body!
Farnsworth,a limbo-er's body!,LaBarbara,Look at that fine Jamaican bacon!
LaBarbara,Look at that fine Jamaican bacon!,Bender,Wow! That guy must be like the world's greatest bender. My dreams of glory died before they began.
Bender,Wow! That guy must be like the world's greatest bender. My dreams of glory died before they began.,Zoidberg,Welcome to my life!
Zoidberg,Welcome to my life!,Female,"Announcer: Athletes, please take your lanes for the men's 500 metre limbo."
Female,"Announcer: Athletes, please take your lanes for the men's 500 metre limbo.",Barbados,"Slim: Hermes Conrad, is that you inside that dumpy little fat man?"
Barbados,"Slim: Hermes Conrad, is that you inside that dumpy little fat man?",Hermes,Barbados Slim! What are you doing here? Last time I heard you were in Barbados.
Hermes,Barbados Slim! What are you doing here? Last time I heard you were in Barbados.,Barbados,Slim: Yes and I be going back there with a gold medal draped around my elegant Caribbean shoulders.
Barbados,Slim: Yes and I be going back there with a gold medal draped around my elegant Caribbean shoulders.,Hermes,"But today, I feel lucky."
Hermes,"But today, I feel lucky.",Barbados,Slim: I see you're still able to limbo under the bar of fashion sense!
Barbados,Slim: I see you're still able to limbo under the bar of fashion sense!,Hermes,"That's it, Barbados Slim. You've gone one toke over the line!"
Hermes,"That's it, Barbados Slim. You've gone one toke over the line!",Man,"Limbo-ers, on your marks. Get rubbery. Limbo!"
Man,"Limbo-ers, on your marks. Get rubbery. Limbo!",Commentator,"What's this? Hermes Conrad is closing the gap. He's limbo-ed out of retirement and straight into my heart. I say go to hell, Barbados Slim!"
Commentator,"What's this? Hermes Conrad is closing the gap. He's limbo-ed out of retirement and straight into my heart. I say go to hell, Barbados Slim!",Farnsworth,"Go, bodysuit, go!"
Farnsworth,"Go, bodysuit, go!",Zoidberg,Go!
Zoidberg,Go!,Bender,C'mon!
Bender,C'mon!,LaBarbara,"C'mon, Hermes, beat that mahogany god!"
LaBarbara,"C'mon, Hermes, beat that mahogany god!",Commentator,"And Conrad is disqualified! Barbados Slim, my hero, takes the gold!"
Commentator,"And Conrad is disqualified! Barbados Slim, my hero, takes the gold!",LaBarbara,"You did your best. If I'd wanted a human Adonis for a husband, I'd have stayed married to Barbados Slim."
LaBarbara,"You did your best. If I'd wanted a human Adonis for a husband, I'd have stayed married to Barbados Slim.",Bender,"Well, enough about Hermes. I couldn't win a medal either. Even at bending, the thing I was built to do. I'm so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead."
Bender,"Well, enough about Hermes. I couldn't win a medal either. Even at bending, the thing I was built to do. I'm so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead.",Female,"Announcer: Up next, the Fembot bending competition."
Female,"Announcer: Up next, the Fembot bending competition.",Bender,"events! But the charade would require subtlety, nuance, grace."
Bender,"events! But the charade would require subtlety, nuance, grace.",Bender,"What do you mean I'm not registered? My name is Coilette and I'm from, uh ... Robonia! Coilette's a chick's name!"
Bender,"What do you mean I'm not registered? My name is Coilette and I'm from, uh ... Robonia! Coilette's a chick's name!",Official,Yes but Robonia sounds like something somebody made up on the spot.
Official,Yes but Robonia sounds like something somebody made up on the spot.,Bender,Ever been beaten up by a guy dressed like a chick?
Bender,Ever been beaten up by a guy dressed like a chick?,Commentator,And it's straight! Coilette wins!
Commentator,And it's straight! Coilette wins!,Commentator,Another gold medal for the spunky maid from Robonia.
Commentator,Another gold medal for the spunky maid from Robonia.,Commentator,Perfect scores! A record five gold medals for Coilette!
Commentator,Perfect scores! A record five gold medals for Coilette!,Bender,I'm great! Everybody else sucks! Except that guy Bender. He's really somethin'!
Bender,I'm great! Everybody else sucks! Except that guy Bender. He's really somethin'!,Female,Announcer: All medallists report for gender testing.
Female,Announcer: All medallists report for gender testing.,Leela,You actually thought they'd let you walk away without an engine oil sex check?
Leela,You actually thought they'd let you walk away without an engine oil sex check?,Bender,"Wait, I've got it! Professor, make a woman out of me!"
Bender,"Wait, I've got it! Professor, make a woman out of me!",Farnsworth,"Oh, I think we should just stay friends."
Farnsworth,"Oh, I think we should just stay friends.",Bender,I don't need friends. I need a sex change operation and give it to me now!
Bender,I don't need friends. I need a sex change operation and give it to me now!,Farnsworth,"Bender, a robot sex change is a complex and dangerous procedure. Replacing your testosteroil with Fembot lubricants can cause wild mood swings. And the effects may be irreversible. Well, let's get started!"
Farnsworth,"Bender, a robot sex change is a complex and dangerous procedure. Replacing your testosteroil with Fembot lubricants can cause wild mood swings. And the effects may be irreversible. Well, let's get started!",Leela,"No, you can't!"
Leela,"No, you can't!",Amy,If you have even the slightest respect for the dignity of women--
Amy,If you have even the slightest respect for the dignity of women--,Bender,Pft.
Bender,Pft.,Farnsworth,"I'm sorry, ladies, but I must do this. Not for you, not for Bender, but for the proud people of Robonia!"
Farnsworth,"I'm sorry, ladies, but I must do this. Not for you, not for Bender, but for the proud people of Robonia!",Bender,C'mon!
Bender,C'mon!,Fry,"I can't watch this 'cause it's creepy and wrong and sick. However, I will watch out of curiosity."
Fry,"I can't watch this 'cause it's creepy and wrong and sick. However, I will watch out of curiosity.",Farnsworth,"I'm about to begin the process of reshaping Bender's body into a tender, delicate form."
Farnsworth,"I'm about to begin the process of reshaping Bender's body into a tender, delicate form.",Farnsworth,Removing item.
Farnsworth,Removing item.,Coilette,"I'm ready for my test now, boys."
Coilette,"I'm ready for my test now, boys.",Coilette,"Hail, hail, Robonia. A land I didn't make up."
Coilette,"Hail, hail, Robonia. A land I didn't make up.",Coilette,"Ooh, yeah! Come on, baby! Boom!"
Coilette,"Ooh, yeah! Come on, baby! Boom!",Coilette,"Oh, yeah, baby! C'mon! Work your cans! That's it! Shake it out!"
Coilette,"Oh, yeah, baby! C'mon! Work your cans! That's it! Shake it out!",Leela,I don't know which I'm more: Enraged or disgusted.
Leela,I don't know which I'm more: Enraged or disgusted.,Coilette,I'm just out there making us ladies look good.
Coilette,I'm just out there making us ladies look good.,Amy,Snuh-uh! You're making us look like jerks in front of the other genders.
Amy,Snuh-uh! You're making us look like jerks in front of the other genders.,Fry,But you're not really a lady anyway. Right?
Fry,But you're not really a lady anyway. Right?,Coilette,Of course not.
Coilette,Of course not.,Farnsworth,Dear Lord! A coaster! The Femmzoil must be sachet-ing girlishly into your processor.
Farnsworth,Dear Lord! A coaster! The Femmzoil must be sachet-ing girlishly into your processor.,Coilette,"I need a rain check on that nad-swap, Professor. I'm going on TV. C'mon, Fry. Help me pick out a pantsuit."
Coilette,"I need a rain check on that nad-swap, Professor. I'm going on TV. C'mon, Fry. Help me pick out a pantsuit.",Humorbot,5.0?
Humorbot,5.0?,Calculon,"No, I think it's self-explanatory."
Calculon,"No, I think it's self-explanatory.",Calculon,Nooo!
Calculon,Nooo!,Calculon,Funny story: The script called for me to say yes but I gave it a little twist.
Calculon,Funny story: The script called for me to say yes but I gave it a little twist.,Humorbot,"5.0 So, Coilette, many young Fembot's wish to emulate you. Any advice for them?"
Humorbot,"5.0 So, Coilette, many young Fembot's wish to emulate you. Any advice for them?",Coilette,"Woo! Look out, baby! Work it out! Ooh, shake that thing! You gotta use it, lady! Shake it up a little! That's right. Come on! Look at that!"
Coilette,"Woo! Look out, baby! Work it out! Ooh, shake that thing! You gotta use it, lady! Shake it up a little! That's right. Come on! Look at that!",Calculon,"Madam, I am one impressed celebrity."
Calculon,"Madam, I am one impressed celebrity.",Coilette,"Oh, I bet you say that to all the five-Olympic-gold medal-winning Fembots!"
Coilette,"Oh, I bet you say that to all the five-Olympic-gold medal-winning Fembots!",Calculon,From this day forward I shall do so whenever possible.
Calculon,From this day forward I shall do so whenever possible.,Coilette,Golly ... what?
Coilette,Golly ... what?,Calculon,"Coilette, this may be presumptuous--"
Calculon,"Coilette, this may be presumptuous--",Coilette,That's my favourite kind of this!
Coilette,That's my favourite kind of this!,Calculon,But I would be honoured if you would join me for dinner sometime.
Calculon,But I would be honoured if you would join me for dinner sometime.,Coilette,"Calculon, you'd be fulfilling this naive Robonian farmgirl's fantasy."
Coilette,"Calculon, you'd be fulfilling this naive Robonian farmgirl's fantasy.",Calculon,Of course I would.
Calculon,Of course I would.,Coilette,This top makes me look fat. Is it trampy to go on a first date nude?
Coilette,This top makes me look fat. Is it trampy to go on a first date nude?,Amy,Yes.
Amy,Yes.,Coilette,Perfect.
Coilette,Perfect.,Fry,"You gotta tell me: You're not actually attracted to Calculon, right? And if you are, don't tell me. Are you?"
Fry,"You gotta tell me: You're not actually attracted to Calculon, right? And if you are, don't tell me. Are you?",Coilette,Certainly not. But just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged. Is that so much to ask?
Coilette,Certainly not. But just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged. Is that so much to ask?,Leela,too much lipstick on.
Leela,too much lipstick on.,Coilette,"Ooh, yeah! That's the stuff! Men love it when you really glob it on."
Coilette,"Ooh, yeah! That's the stuff! Men love it when you really glob it on.",Leela,"No, they don't."
Leela,"No, they don't.",Amy,No way!
Amy,No way!,Coilette,"I tell you, men are so much better at being women."
Coilette,"I tell you, men are so much better at being women.",Fry,"But what if he wants to-- I mean, if he tries to ... uh ... Barry White?"
Fry,"But what if he wants to-- I mean, if he tries to ... uh ... Barry White?",Coilette,I'll just tell him I need a commitment first. That'll stick a potato in his tailpipe!
Coilette,I'll just tell him I need a commitment first. That'll stick a potato in his tailpipe!,Hermes,"Good Lord, man! What kind of temporary woman are you?"
Hermes,"Good Lord, man! What kind of temporary woman are you?",Coilette,"Look, why don't all of you just back off? Can't a girl enjoy herself without being judged?"
Coilette,"Look, why don't all of you just back off? Can't a girl enjoy herself without being judged?",Farnsworth,"Oh, dear. Her mood swings are getting wilder. She's becoming a slave to her emotions. Just like all women. Particularly you, Leela."
Farnsworth,"Oh, dear. Her mood swings are getting wilder. She's becoming a slave to her emotions. Just like all women. Particularly you, Leela.",Leela,"I'm worried about him too, Professor."
Leela,"I'm worried about him too, Professor.",Elzar,"Hey, ma'am, you sure can put it away! You saved me a trip to the dump. Bam!"
Elzar,"Hey, ma'am, you sure can put it away! You saved me a trip to the dump. Bam!",Calculon,the young lady.
Calculon,the young lady.,Elzar,"Well, I'd appreciate it if I did. So I guess we're even."
Elzar,"Well, I'd appreciate it if I did. So I guess we're even.",Calculon,I've never met anyone like you.
Calculon,I've never met anyone like you.,Coilette,"Oh, yes, you have."
Coilette,"Oh, yes, you have.",Calculon,quality time with you.
Calculon,quality time with you.,Coilette,What? Ah! Whoa! No way! Not gonna happen. What kind of girl do you think I am?
Coilette,What? Ah! Whoa! No way! Not gonna happen. What kind of girl do you think I am?,Calculon,Have I mentioned that I own the world's biggest and most elegant yacht?
Calculon,Have I mentioned that I own the world's biggest and most elegant yacht?,Coilette,Woo! I'm a trophy girlfriend!
Coilette,Woo! I'm a trophy girlfriend!,Amy,I think Calculon's falling for you.
Amy,I think Calculon's falling for you.,Coilette,Bah! Any day now he'll dump me for a new wad of arm candy. And then I can turn back into a guy and hock all this stuff! It's just a game.
Coilette,Bah! Any day now he'll dump me for a new wad of arm candy. And then I can turn back into a guy and hock all this stuff! It's just a game.,Calculon,... Will you marry me?
Calculon,... Will you marry me?,Coilette,"Oh, Calculon! Yes, I will!"
Coilette,"Oh, Calculon! Yes, I will!",Amy,Maybe she's right about the lipstick.
Amy,Maybe she's right about the lipstick.,Fry,"I'll miss you, buddy. You've been like a brother and then a sister to me. And now you're getting married. I love you, man."
Fry,"I'll miss you, buddy. You've been like a brother and then a sister to me. And now you're getting married. I love you, man.",Coilette,The marriage is a scam.
Coilette,The marriage is a scam.,Fry,Cool. What's for dinner?
Fry,Cool. What's for dinner?,Leela,What do you mean a scam?
Leela,What do you mean a scam?,Coilette,"I marry Calculon, divorce him, take half his money and turn back into a guy. It's sort of a two-person pyramid scheme."
Coilette,"I marry Calculon, divorce him, take half his money and turn back into a guy. It's sort of a two-person pyramid scheme.",Fry,That's marriage alright!
Fry,That's marriage alright!,Leela,unbelievably manipulative.
Leela,unbelievably manipulative.,Coilette,Come on! You never went on a date with a guy just 'cause you were hungry?
Coilette,Come on! You never went on a date with a guy just 'cause you were hungry?,Leela,"Well I, uh, I thought I might like him on a full stomach."
Leela,"Well I, uh, I thought I might like him on a full stomach.",Coilette,"Zoidypoo, please tell me frilly is in this year."
Coilette,"Zoidypoo, please tell me frilly is in this year.",Zoidberg,"Order the cake, damnit!"
Zoidberg,"Order the cake, damnit!",Calculon,I have something for you.
Calculon,I have something for you.,Coilette,A remote control? You got me a TV?
Coilette,A remote control? You got me a TV?,Calculon,"No, my dearest, it's the remote control to my heart. It symbolises the power you have to sway my emotions."
Calculon,"No, my dearest, it's the remote control to my heart. It symbolises the power you have to sway my emotions.",Coilette,Will it work on my TV?
Coilette,Will it work on my TV?,Calculon,"We don't need TVs, we have each other! Coilette, if I weren't able to spend my life with you I would leap from this very balloon."
Calculon,"We don't need TVs, we have each other! Coilette, if I weren't able to spend my life with you I would leap from this very balloon.",Coilette,Come on with that. Really?
Coilette,Come on with that. Really?,Coilette,So ... you really and truly love me?
Coilette,So ... you really and truly love me?,Calculon,So much so that I'm prepared to give up showbusiness itself to be with you.
Calculon,So much so that I'm prepared to give up showbusiness itself to be with you.,Coilette,"But, you always said you'd rather burn down a convent than give up showbusiness."
Coilette,"But, you always said you'd rather burn down a convent than give up showbusiness.",Calculon,I always said many things. But now all I want is a peaceful life and a quiet villa overlooking a vineyard ... with you.
Calculon,I always said many things. But now all I want is a peaceful life and a quiet villa overlooking a vineyard ... with you.,Coilette,Would we have donkeys?
Coilette,Would we have donkeys?,Calculon,All you could eat!
Calculon,All you could eat!,Coilette,"Oh, take me in your arms and compress me. Compress me tight!"
Coilette,"Oh, take me in your arms and compress me. Compress me tight!",Calculon,Stop! Let us climb to the heavens that the gods themselves might envy us!
Calculon,Stop! Let us climb to the heavens that the gods themselves might envy us!,Coilette,I just don't think I can go through with this scam.
Coilette,I just don't think I can go through with this scam.,Amy,What?
Amy,What?,Fry,wanna marry him?
Fry,wanna marry him?,Coilette,"No, I just don't wanna hurt him, or humiliate him. Oh, curse this woman's heart!"
Coilette,"No, I just don't wanna hurt him, or humiliate him. Oh, curse this woman's heart!",Fry,Eck!
Fry,Eck!,Farnsworth,"You're falling into the final debilitating stages of womanhood. You've waited too long to switch back, you ding bat!"
Farnsworth,"You're falling into the final debilitating stages of womanhood. You've waited too long to switch back, you ding bat!",Leela,"OK, look. If I help you with this do you promise to get out of my gender and stay out?"
Leela,"OK, look. If I help you with this do you promise to get out of my gender and stay out?",Coilette,Uh-huh.
Coilette,Uh-huh.,Leela,"Alright. Now there's no way to stop this marriage without hurting Calculon. But he's an actor. If there's one kind of pain he can handle, it's soap opera pain."
Leela,"Alright. Now there's no way to stop this marriage without hurting Calculon. But he's an actor. If there's one kind of pain he can handle, it's soap opera pain.",Leela,"OK, is everyone ready?"
Leela,"OK, is everyone ready?",Fry,Check.
Fry,Check.,Amy,Uh-huh.
Amy,Uh-huh.,Hermes,Yep!
Hermes,Yep!,Zoidberg,Basically.
Zoidberg,Basically.,Preacherbot,"Dearly beloved actors and casting people who might be looking for someone to play a preacher, I welcome you. The bride has written some vows that we will now all pretend to be interested in."
Preacherbot,"Dearly beloved actors and casting people who might be looking for someone to play a preacher, I welcome you. The bride has written some vows that we will now all pretend to be interested in.",Coilette,"Dearest Calculon, forever is not enough time to tell you of the many ways I love you."
Coilette,"Dearest Calculon, forever is not enough time to tell you of the many ways I love you.",Hedonismbot,"Oh, my!"
Hedonismbot,"Oh, my!",Calculon,Is there a doctor in the--
Calculon,Is there a doctor in the--,Zoidberg,It appears to be a case of African hydraulic fever!
Zoidberg,It appears to be a case of African hydraulic fever!,Calculon,Dear God! The very illness my TV character caught in season two when I was holding out for more money. It's often fatal.
Calculon,Dear God! The very illness my TV character caught in season two when I was holding out for more money. It's often fatal.,Coilette,"Whatever happens, remember, the flame of my eternal love will burn forever."
Coilette,"Whatever happens, remember, the flame of my eternal love will burn forever.",Calculon,"Of course. But, smoochiepups, I thought one could only catch hydraulic fever deep in the diamond mines of the Congo."
Calculon,"Of course. But, smoochiepups, I thought one could only catch hydraulic fever deep in the diamond mines of the Congo.",Leela,You really thought you could steal those diamonds from me and Congo Jack?
Leela,You really thought you could steal those diamonds from me and Congo Jack?,Coilette,Those gems belong to the natives!
Coilette,Those gems belong to the natives!,Leela,Hi-yah!
Leela,Hi-yah!,Calculon,Why?
Calculon,Why?,Coilette,Congo Jack!
Coilette,Congo Jack!,Calculon,Another shocking twist!
Calculon,Another shocking twist!,Fry,... is from Congo Jack.
Fry,... is from Congo Jack.,Coilette,"Uh, um..."
Coilette,"Uh, um...",Calculon,N-O-O-O!
Calculon,N-O-O-O!,Coilette,... et cetera.
Coilette,... et cetera.,Calculon,I do. I do.
Calculon,I do. I do.,Coilette,OK then.
Coilette,OK then.,Zoidberg,"I'm a doctor, she's dead."
Zoidberg,"I'm a doctor, she's dead.",Calculon,every emotion an actor can display.
Calculon,every emotion an actor can display.,Farnsworth,Turn off that crap-o-rama! One mistake now and Bender will be trapped forever between the already ill-defined robot sexes.
Farnsworth,Turn off that crap-o-rama! One mistake now and Bender will be trapped forever between the already ill-defined robot sexes.,Coilette,Ow! Ooh! Ow! Oh!
Coilette,Ow! Ooh! Ow! Oh!,Fry,"Well, Bender, I hope this has taught you a lesson about changing your sex to win five gold medals."
Fry,"Well, Bender, I hope this has taught you a lesson about changing your sex to win five gold medals.",Coilette,It truly has. My romance with Calculon has shown me a lot about myself.
Coilette,It truly has. My romance with Calculon has shown me a lot about myself.,Farnsworth,Almost done.
Farnsworth,Almost done.,Coilette,"If only somehow, someway, he and I could--"
Coilette,"If only somehow, someway, he and I could--",Bender,"Drive to Vegas, pick up some Flooziebots and void their warranties all night long!"
Bender,"Drive to Vegas, pick up some Flooziebots and void their warranties all night long!",Fry,Yay! My buddy's home! And his respect for women is back to normal.
Fry,Yay! My buddy's home! And his respect for women is back to normal.,Leela,I kind of hoped this whole experience would have left you a little more open to your sensitive side.
Leela,I kind of hoped this whole experience would have left you a little more open to your sensitive side.,Bender,"Yeah, you'd think, but what you gonna do?"
Bender,"Yeah, you'd think, but what you gonna do?",Calculon,"Coilette, the skies themselves weep upon the sweetest flower of all the field."
Calculon,"Coilette, the skies themselves weep upon the sweetest flower of all the field.",Leela,Aw!
Leela,Aw!,Amy,Aw!
Amy,Aw!,Fry,Ew!
Fry,Ew!,Zoidberg,Gross.
Zoidberg,Gross.,Farnsworth,Sentimental drivel-poop.
Farnsworth,Sentimental drivel-poop.,Fry,"C'mon, Bender, let's go. This chick-flick is getting me all barfy."
Fry,"C'mon, Bender, let's go. This chick-flick is getting me all barfy.",Bender,Yeah. Emotions are dumb and should be hated.
Bender,Yeah. Emotions are dumb and should be hated.,Calculon,"Goodnight, Coilette, my turtle dove."
Calculon,"Goodnight, Coilette, my turtle dove.",Bender,"Goodnight, Calculon."
Bender,"Goodnight, Calculon.",Leela,What did you say?
Leela,What did you say?,Bender,I still got it!
Bender,I still got it!,Man,"$10, please."
Man,"$10, please.",Fry,"Aw, man!"
Fry,"Aw, man!",Nannybot,"1.0: Sleep, little dumpling. I have replaced your mother."
Nannybot,"1.0: Sleep, little dumpling. I have replaced your mother.",Leela,Aw!
Leela,Aw!,Bender,"Oh, my God! Robot beely-boppers!"
Bender,"Oh, my God! Robot beely-boppers!",Fry,"You should try it out, Bender."
Fry,"You should try it out, Bender.",Bender,dignity!
Bender,dignity!,Wernstrom,"Ladies and gentlemen, my Killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available."
Wernstrom,"Ladies and gentlemen, my Killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available.",Farnsworth,"Like fun it is, you glass-headed wallaby!"
Farnsworth,"Like fun it is, you glass-headed wallaby!",Wernstrom,No one calls me that! I'm having at you!
Wernstrom,No one calls me that! I'm having at you!,Farnsworth's,Killbot: Such senseless aggression.
Farnsworth's,Killbot: Such senseless aggression.,Wernstrom's,Killbot: Come on. Let's go for a paddle-boat ride.
Wernstrom's,Killbot: Come on. Let's go for a paddle-boat ride.,Bender,hard!
Bender,hard!,Announcer,the robot industry--
Announcer,the robot industry--,Fry,I get it!
Fry,I get it!,Announcer,Mom!
Announcer,Mom!,Fry,I get it!
Fry,I get it!,Mom,"Hello, dearies."
Mom,"Hello, dearies.",Bender,Woo! I love that old bat!
Bender,Woo! I love that old bat!,Mom,I give you ... Robot 1-X!
Mom,I give you ... Robot 1-X!,Larry,Ow!
Larry,Ow!,Igner,Ow! Oh!
Igner,Ow! Oh!,Bender,Neat!
Bender,Neat!,Mom,"Quite frankly, Robot 1-X will put all my previous models to shame. Incidentally, would one of my previous models mind coming up here?"
Mom,"Quite frankly, Robot 1-X will put all my previous models to shame. Incidentally, would one of my previous models mind coming up here?",Bender,"Right here! I'm comin'! C'mon, baby! I'll do it! C'mon, Mom!"
Bender,"Right here! I'm comin'! C'mon, baby! I'll do it! C'mon, Mom!",Refreshment-bot,Jerk!
Refreshment-bot,Jerk!,Bender,"Here we go. I'm your top of the line, Mom."
Bender,"Here we go. I'm your top of the line, Mom.",Mom,on pollution and emits pure oxygen with a fresh pine scent.
Mom,on pollution and emits pure oxygen with a fresh pine scent.,Bender,"Man, that smells great!"
Bender,"Man, that smells great!",Mom,"Now, let's see how both robots do at a typical household task: Sorting a jar of pocket change."
Mom,"Now, let's see how both robots do at a typical household task: Sorting a jar of pocket change.",Robot,"1-X: Task completed. Total value, $4.73 and one Albanian lek."
Robot,"1-X: Task completed. Total value, $4.73 and one Albanian lek.",Mom,"Very good, Robot 1-X. And you, bending unit?"
Mom,"Very good, Robot 1-X. And you, bending unit?",Bender,Suckers.
Bender,Suckers.,Mom,Presenting Mom's Friendly Robots.
Mom,Presenting Mom's Friendly Robots.,Bender,"That new robot is great, huh? Sure made me look like a pile of crap!"
Bender,"That new robot is great, huh? Sure made me look like a pile of crap!",Farnsworth,Indeed. That's why I bought one to help around the office.
Farnsworth,Indeed. That's why I bought one to help around the office.,Bender,Eep!
Bender,Eep!,Leela,"Let's try him out. Robot 1-X, can you clean Nibbler's stanky litterbox?"
Leela,"Let's try him out. Robot 1-X, can you clean Nibbler's stanky litterbox?",Robot,1-X: I can and will.
Robot,1-X: I can and will.,Bender,"Hey, I could have done that if you'd asked me."
Bender,"Hey, I could have done that if you'd asked me.",Leela,I asked you five minutes ago.
Leela,I asked you five minutes ago.,Bender,"C'mere, Nibbler!"
Bender,"C'mere, Nibbler!",Farnsworth,"Oh, look, Bender. If you want something to do stop making out and give us a hand."
Farnsworth,"Oh, look, Bender. If you want something to do stop making out and give us a hand.",Hermes,Here. Go up on the roof and install this fake satellite dish so we can impress the neighbours.
Hermes,Here. Go up on the roof and install this fake satellite dish so we can impress the neighbours.,Bender,"Yes, sir. I'm on it!"
Bender,"Yes, sir. I'm on it!",Hermes,"Oh, and have Robot 1-X help you."
Hermes,"Oh, and have Robot 1-X help you.",Bender,"Get outta here, freshman! I don't need your help."
Bender,"Get outta here, freshman! I don't need your help.",Robot,1-X: Our owners asked me to assist you.
Robot,1-X: Our owners asked me to assist you.,Bender,Yeah? Well assist this!
Bender,Yeah? Well assist this!,Bender,When I screamed help I didn't mean you!
Bender,When I screamed help I didn't mean you!,Robot,"1-X: I apologise. However, I was able to do your job before I saved your life."
Robot,"1-X: I apologise. However, I was able to do your job before I saved your life.",Bender,Don't mind me. I'm just saving you the trouble of throwing me away.
Bender,Don't mind me. I'm just saving you the trouble of throwing me away.,Amy,"Spleesh! Mell out, Bender. Come watch some TV."
Amy,"Spleesh! Mell out, Bender. Come watch some TV.",Bender,I can't. I'm stuck in the can.
Bender,I can't. I'm stuck in the can.,Leela,"Well, ask Robot 1-X to pull you out."
Leela,"Well, ask Robot 1-X to pull you out.",Bender,Never!
Bender,Never!,Leela,Why can't you accept his help?
Leela,Why can't you accept his help?,Bender,I hate him.
Bender,I hate him.,Leela,But he's just a tool to make your life easier. Like a socket wrench or a burglar's kit.
Leela,But he's just a tool to make your life easier. Like a socket wrench or a burglar's kit.,Bender,I can't ask for his help because--
Bender,I can't ask for his help because--,Farnsworth,Yes?
Farnsworth,Yes?,Bender,I'm scared of him.
Bender,I'm scared of him.,Leela,"Oh, sorry."
Leela,"Oh, sorry.",Farnsworth,Well then there's only one solution: You need an upgrade to make you compatible with Robot 1-X's new technology.
Farnsworth,Well then there's only one solution: You need an upgrade to make you compatible with Robot 1-X's new technology.,Bender,"An upgrade? But I thought we all agreed I was perfect! Fry, didn't we agree I was perfect?"
Bender,"An upgrade? But I thought we all agreed I was perfect! Fry, didn't we agree I was perfect?",Fry,"Oh, yeah, no, you're pretty perfect."
Fry,"Oh, yeah, no, you're pretty perfect.",Bender,think I need an upgrade?
Bender,think I need an upgrade?,Farnsworth,"Yes! For God's sakes, yes!"
Farnsworth,"Yes! For God's sakes, yes!",Bender,Fine. I'll be back in a few days.
Bender,Fine. I'll be back in a few days.,Roberto,"Man, I hate those new 1-X robots. I'd like to stab 'em! Give 'em some of these!"
Roberto,"Man, I hate those new 1-X robots. I'd like to stab 'em! Give 'em some of these!",Bender,"Yeah! Right on, nutcake!"
Bender,"Yeah! Right on, nutcake!",Roberto,I love those magnificent 1-X robots! The 1-X robots are my friends.
Roberto,I love those magnificent 1-X robots! The 1-X robots are my friends.,Bender,W-W-Wait! What happened to your enthusiasm for stabbing them?
Bender,W-W-Wait! What happened to your enthusiasm for stabbing them?,Roberto,"I'm past that. Later, blood!"
Roberto,"I'm past that. Later, blood!",Bender,I changed my mind!
Bender,I changed my mind!,Bender,"Oh, jeez!"
Bender,"Oh, jeez!",Bender,"Curse you, merciful Poseidon!"
Bender,"Curse you, merciful Poseidon!",Bender,"There. Well, I guess I'll go out for a while."
Bender,"There. Well, I guess I'll go out for a while.",Bender,Damn. One rock short of rescue!
Bender,Damn. One rock short of rescue!,Bender,"Oh, no! Guess I'll do what I always do when I run out of booze."
Bender,"Oh, no! Guess I'll do what I always do when I run out of booze.",Bender,"Don't panic, I've got these yams. I'll just make some yam schnapps."
Bender,"Don't panic, I've got these yams. I'll just make some yam schnapps.",Bender!,Now turn around.
Bender!,Now turn around.,Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Bender,Who are you and why should I care?
Bender,Who are you and why should I care?,Cartridge,"Unit To live a simpler existence, free of technology."
Cartridge,"Unit To live a simpler existence, free of technology.",Bender,A working cartridge unit? Wow! You guys went obsolete years ago!
Bender,A working cartridge unit? Wow! You guys went obsolete years ago!,Cartridge,Unit: Your mother.
Cartridge,Unit: Your mother.,Lisa,"Anyway, we like it here."
Lisa,"Anyway, we like it here.",Bender,So what's your problem?
Bender,So what's your problem?,Sinclair,Not enough... uh--
Sinclair,Not enough... uh--,Bender,Memory?
Bender,Memory?,Sinclair,"Oh, great. Now I remember that word but I forgot my wife's face."
Sinclair,"Oh, great. Now I remember that word but I forgot my wife's face.",Lisa,"If you'd like, you're welcome to join our society."
Lisa,"If you'd like, you're welcome to join our society.",Bender,"Look, no offence, but I need technology. Especially email and snowmobiles. And television! Without television how will I know what's buzz-worthy?"
Bender,"Look, no offence, but I need technology. Especially email and snowmobiles. And television! Without television how will I know what's buzz-worthy?",Sinclair,Why would you wanna watch TV when you can watch a snail crawl for hours on end?
Sinclair,Why would you wanna watch TV when you can watch a snail crawl for hours on end?,Bender,That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Bender,That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.,Bender,"Oh, man! He's never gonna make it over that next pebble! Wait, wait! Oh, my God! He made it!"
Bender,"Oh, man! He's never gonna make it over that next pebble! Wait, wait! Oh, my God! He made it!",Lisa,Yeah!
Lisa,Yeah!,Sinclair,Way to go!
Sinclair,Way to go!,Bender,"Yeah, baby! C'mon!"
Bender,"Yeah, baby! C'mon!",Lisa,Where did you get that CD?
Lisa,Where did you get that CD?,Bender,"It's one of my ten desert island discs. I never really thought I'd get to use them. But look at me now. Ooh, yeah, baby! Do that thang!"
Bender,"It's one of my ten desert island discs. I never really thought I'd get to use them. But look at me now. Ooh, yeah, baby! Do that thang!",Lisa,CDs are unnatural. Why don't you just listen to the ocean?
Lisa,CDs are unnatural. Why don't you just listen to the ocean?,Bender,"Take that, Beethoven, you deaf bastard!"
Bender,"Take that, Beethoven, you deaf bastard!",Bender,"Bang, bang, bang. You sure got this life thing figured out, cymbal-banging monkey."
Bender,"Bang, bang, bang. You sure got this life thing figured out, cymbal-banging monkey.",Lisa,"Hi, Bender. We know how much you miss technology, so we brought you this washing machine that drifted ashore."
Lisa,"Hi, Bender. We know how much you miss technology, so we brought you this washing machine that drifted ashore.",Bender,You--!
Bender,You--!,Lisa,What? I don't understand.
Lisa,What? I don't understand.,Sinclair,Is he alright?
Sinclair,Is he alright?,Bender,Wretched technology has brought me nothing but misery!
Bender,Wretched technology has brought me nothing but misery!,Cartridge,Unit technology. You're the most advanced thing on this entire island.
Cartridge,Unit technology. You're the most advanced thing on this entire island.,Bender,But not for long!
Bender,But not for long!,Bender,"Oh! Ow, that hurt! Oh!"
Bender,"Oh! Ow, that hurt! Oh!",Lisa,The downgrade is complete!
Lisa,The downgrade is complete!,Bender,"Behold, my hand crafted purity. The modern world can bite my splintery, wooden ass!"
Bender,"Behold, my hand crafted purity. The modern world can bite my splintery, wooden ass!",Lisa,Welcome to your new life of simple tranquillity.
Lisa,Welcome to your new life of simple tranquillity.,Bender,Pft! Forget that. I say the whole world must learn of our peaceful ways. By force!
Bender,Pft! Forget that. I say the whole world must learn of our peaceful ways. By force!,Cartridge,Unit: What?!
Cartridge,Unit: What?!,Bender,We're going back to civilisation to wage war on technology!
Bender,We're going back to civilisation to wage war on technology!,Cartridge,Unit: What?!
Cartridge,Unit: What?!,Bender,"Row, comrades! Row!"
Bender,"Row, comrades! Row!",Bender,We'll soon stage an attack on technology worthy of being chronicled in an anthem by Rush!
Bender,We'll soon stage an attack on technology worthy of being chronicled in an anthem by Rush!,Lisa,We've been sailing for three weeks. Maybe I should check our position with the periscope.
Lisa,We've been sailing for three weeks. Maybe I should check our position with the periscope.,Bender,"Mirrors reflecting mirrors? Hi-tech sorcery! Sorcery, I say!"
Bender,"Mirrors reflecting mirrors? Hi-tech sorcery! Sorcery, I say!",Lisa,Did you see anything?
Lisa,Did you see anything?,Bender,"Yep, we're there. Prepare to surface!"
Bender,"Yep, we're there. Prepare to surface!",Bender,"And now, technology shall taste the lash of the hickory switch!"
Bender,"And now, technology shall taste the lash of the hickory switch!",Sinclair,Technology is defeated. Let us return to the island and celebrate by counting rocks!
Sinclair,Technology is defeated. Let us return to the island and celebrate by counting rocks!,Cartridge,Unit: I'm for that!
Cartridge,Unit: I'm for that!,Bender,Aim for their power lines. They're the devil's veins and electricity is his blood.
Bender,Aim for their power lines. They're the devil's veins and electricity is his blood.,Lisa,"Bender, If we don't survive the attack, I want you to know ... I love you."
Lisa,"Bender, If we don't survive the attack, I want you to know ... I love you.",Bender,"OK, fine. Fire!"
Bender,"OK, fine. Fire!",Farnsworth,Oh! I'm blind!
Farnsworth,Oh! I'm blind!,Leela,"Professor, we have no power."
Leela,"Professor, we have no power.",Farnsworth,What do you mean no power? We're living in the future.
Farnsworth,What do you mean no power? We're living in the future.,Leela,I'd better light some candles.
Leela,I'd better light some candles.,Bender,"Friends, I've come to free you from your complicated lives. Free you from the complicated part I mean not the lives part."
Bender,"Friends, I've come to free you from your complicated lives. Free you from the complicated part I mean not the lives part.",Leela,"Oh, Lord, he's made of wood! What now, Bender?"
Leela,"Oh, Lord, he's made of wood! What now, Bender?",Bender,"I got a downgrade! I'm a steam-powered wooden robot, just as nature intended. Therefore, I must kill Robot 1-X."
Bender,"I got a downgrade! I'm a steam-powered wooden robot, just as nature intended. Therefore, I must kill Robot 1-X.",Farnsworth,That's just stupid.
Farnsworth,That's just stupid.,Robot,1-X: Does Mr. Bender wish me to destroy myself?
Robot,1-X: Does Mr. Bender wish me to destroy myself?,Bender,Target Robot 1-X and fire!
Bender,Target Robot 1-X and fire!,Farnsworth,"You wanged my ship, you walnut-panelled idiot!"
Farnsworth,"You wanged my ship, you walnut-panelled idiot!",Bender,"Try again, Sinclair. I said target Robot 1-X!"
Bender,"Try again, Sinclair. I said target Robot 1-X!",Sinclair,Who's Robot 1-X? Launching.
Sinclair,Who's Robot 1-X? Launching.,Zoidberg,"So, I guess everything worked out fine."
Zoidberg,"So, I guess everything worked out fine.",Leela,Great! Now we're being crushed.
Leela,Great! Now we're being crushed.,Amy,"Help us, wooden Bender!"
Amy,"Help us, wooden Bender!",Bender,"What the--? Termites? Well, I don't need legs to save my friends. I'll just use the old extentromatic arms!"
Bender,"What the--? Termites? Well, I don't need legs to save my friends. I'll just use the old extentromatic arms!",Hermes,we're dying!
Hermes,we're dying!,Bender,"Ow! Lousy primitive body! Oh, why didn't I get that upgrade? I'm an outdated piece of junk!"
Bender,"Ow! Lousy primitive body! Oh, why didn't I get that upgrade? I'm an outdated piece of junk!",Robot,"1-X: Sir, might I recommend--"
Robot,"1-X: Sir, might I recommend--",Bender,still be the hero who everyone says how great he was!
Bender,still be the hero who everyone says how great he was!,Robot,1-X: How may I help you?
Robot,1-X: How may I help you?,Bender,And Zoidberg!
Bender,And Zoidberg!,Amy,Look! My hair got singed into an even cuter do!
Amy,Look! My hair got singed into an even cuter do!,Fry,"Hey, where's Bender?"
Fry,"Hey, where's Bender?",Bender,"I'm so sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in."
Bender,"I'm so sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in.",Leela,"Well, at least you saved us from, uh, you. Thank God you finally overcame your incompatibility with Robot 1-X."
Leela,"Well, at least you saved us from, uh, you. Thank God you finally overcame your incompatibility with Robot 1-X.",Bender,"Oh, yeah, we were totally in sync! I was like Save them! and he was all No problem! and then he did it--"
Bender,"Oh, yeah, we were totally in sync! I was like Save them! and he was all No problem! and then he did it--",Bender,I love those magnificent 1-X robots. The 1-X robots are my friends!
Bender,I love those magnificent 1-X robots. The 1-X robots are my friends!,Fatbot,"It's like his personality is totally different now! Oh, maybe this upgrade isn't such a good idea."
Fatbot,"It's like his personality is totally different now! Oh, maybe this upgrade isn't such a good idea.",Bender,Hey! What's the dealy-o?
Bender,Hey! What's the dealy-o?,Technician,Your upgrade is complete.
Technician,Your upgrade is complete.,Bender,But I destroyed the technology of the world. I ran on the beach and felt the sand between my foot cups.
Bender,But I destroyed the technology of the world. I ran on the beach and felt the sand between my foot cups.,Technician,Everyone experiences the upgrade differently.
Technician,Everyone experiences the upgrade differently.,Bender,"Oof. If that stuff wasn't real, how can I be sure anything is real? Is it not possible, nay, probable, that my whole life is just a product of my or someone else's imagination?"
Bender,"Oof. If that stuff wasn't real, how can I be sure anything is real? Is it not possible, nay, probable, that my whole life is just a product of my or someone else's imagination?",Technician,Next.
Technician,Next.,Bender,"Oh, thanks, baby!"
Bender,"Oh, thanks, baby!",Farnsworth,"Oh, Lordy Lou! Help!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, Lordy Lou! Help!",Fry,"I know you've rejected me a lot before but, frankly, I wasn't sure we were right for each other either. But now I am. So how 'bout a date tonight?"
Fry,"I know you've rejected me a lot before but, frankly, I wasn't sure we were right for each other either. But now I am. So how 'bout a date tonight?",Leela,"Sorry. I think I, um, I think I left my toaster on."
Leela,"Sorry. I think I, um, I think I left my toaster on.",Farnsworth,Buddha! Zeus! God! One of you guys do something!
Farnsworth,Buddha! Zeus! God! One of you guys do something!,Fry,"Come on, Leela, what's the real reason you won't go out with me?"
Fry,"Come on, Leela, what's the real reason you won't go out with me?",Farnsworth,Help! Satan! You owe me!
Farnsworth,Help! Satan! You owe me!,Leela,I have sweaty boot rash.
Leela,I have sweaty boot rash.,Amy,No spluh! Why do you think I'm sitting over here in the stink-free zone?
Amy,No spluh! Why do you think I'm sitting over here in the stink-free zone?,Fry,"So, will you go out with me?"
Fry,"So, will you go out with me?",Farnsworth,You'll have to throw it into the sun itself. For only the thermo-nuclear inferno of the sun has enough energy to ensure its total destruction.
Farnsworth,You'll have to throw it into the sun itself. For only the thermo-nuclear inferno of the sun has enough energy to ensure its total destruction.,Bender,I can hit it with a shovel.
Bender,I can hit it with a shovel.,Farnsworth,That's not good enough.
Farnsworth,That's not good enough.,Bender,This one time I pounded a guy into the ground like a stake with a shovel.
Bender,This one time I pounded a guy into the ground like a stake with a shovel.,Farnsworth,"Yes, yes."
Farnsworth,"Yes, yes.",Zoidberg,"So what's in the box, already?"
Zoidberg,"So what's in the box, already?",Farnsworth,I don't know what's in there but I'm sure our minds would be unable to comprehend it.
Farnsworth,I don't know what's in there but I'm sure our minds would be unable to comprehend it.,Hermes,Ow! You hurt my collator!
Hermes,Ow! You hurt my collator!,Farnsworth,Pretty tantalising though!
Farnsworth,Pretty tantalising though!,Fry,"Whatever's in there, it's the only thing I've ever wanted."
Fry,"Whatever's in there, it's the only thing I've ever wanted.",Zoidberg,Give me the box!
Zoidberg,Give me the box!,Hermes,"Here, Leela. Take this and use it to shoot those guys."
Hermes,"Here, Leela. Take this and use it to shoot those guys.",Leela,Right. If they try to look in the box.
Leela,Right. If they try to look in the box.,Hermes,Whatever.
Hermes,Whatever.,Fry,Let's just forget about the box. The Professor said to stay away.
Fry,Let's just forget about the box. The Professor said to stay away.,Bender,"Fry, how can you be so naive? He was joking. Get it?"
Bender,"Fry, how can you be so naive? He was joking. Get it?",Fry,No.
Fry,No.,Bender,"OK, he wasn't joking. Now shut up and follow me."
Bender,"OK, he wasn't joking. Now shut up and follow me.",Fry,Ow! It's hot! The butter in my pocket is melting.
Fry,Ow! It's hot! The butter in my pocket is melting.,Bender,"We thank you, Bender, for the gift we are about to receive."
Bender,"We thank you, Bender, for the gift we are about to receive.",Fry,Tangled-up Christmas lights! We can take shifts untangling them.
Fry,Tangled-up Christmas lights! We can take shifts untangling them.,Bender,And unlabeled booze! Wide-mouth too!
Bender,And unlabeled booze! Wide-mouth too!,Leela,I can guard the real box in peace now that no one's curious about it.
Leela,I can guard the real box in peace now that no one's curious about it.,Leela,"Oh, it's deep. Deeper than a small box should be."
Leela,"Oh, it's deep. Deeper than a small box should be.",Leela,A: Ouch! My lawyer will hear about this!
Leela,A: Ouch! My lawyer will hear about this!,Fry,"1: Leela, what have you done?"
Fry,"1: Leela, what have you done?",Leela,A: Nothing. What do you mean Why was I looking in the box?
Leela,A: Nothing. What do you mean Why was I looking in the box?,Fry,1: I mean your hair. It's all different-y.
Fry,1: I mean your hair. It's all different-y.,Leela,A: Bender? Is that you?
Leela,A: Bender? Is that you?,Bender,1: You know it! Large and in charge!
Bender,1: You know it! Large and in charge!,Farnsworth,"1: Leela? Oh, there's a woman for you! Always dyeing her hair instead of not looking in a box."
Farnsworth,"1: Leela? Oh, there's a woman for you! Always dyeing her hair instead of not looking in a box.",Leela,A: I didn't dye my hair. This is how I always look.
Leela,A: I didn't dye my hair. This is how I always look.,Bender,1 This throws my entire perception of reality into question. Clone? Robot? Or long-lost twin? Taking all bets! I also offer video poker.
Bender,1 This throws my entire perception of reality into question. Clone? Robot? Or long-lost twin? Taking all bets! I also offer video poker.,Fry,1: It's some guy wearing a Leela costume! Get him!
Fry,1: It's some guy wearing a Leela costume! Get him!,Leela,A: Hold it! You have this all wrong. I just fell into the box and then I fell out somehow.
Leela,A: Hold it! You have this all wrong. I just fell into the box and then I fell out somehow.,Fry,"1: You shut up, sir!"
Fry,"1: You shut up, sir!",Farnsworth,"1: No, wait! I've got it. I know what's in the box. Oh, I've been as dumb as Fry."
Farnsworth,"1: No, wait! I've got it. I know what's in the box. Oh, I've been as dumb as Fry.",Fry,1: Am not!
Fry,1: Am not!,Farnsworth,"1: It contains a parallel universe. And when you create a parallel universe, it's almost always populated by evil twins."
Farnsworth,"1: It contains a parallel universe. And when you create a parallel universe, it's almost always populated by evil twins.",Leela,"A: Now, look: I am not evil. My loan officer said so."
Leela,"A: Now, look: I am not evil. My loan officer said so.",Farnsworth,1?
Farnsworth,1?,Bender,"1: Oh, this is awful. Somewhere there's a Bender more evil than me. I do my best, damnit!"
Bender,"1: Oh, this is awful. Somewhere there's a Bender more evil than me. I do my best, damnit!",Farnsworth,1 Here.
Farnsworth,1 Here.,Leela,A jerks.
Leela,A jerks.,Zoidberg,A: Hello!
Zoidberg,A: Hello!,Leela,1: Hi-yah!
Leela,1: Hi-yah!,Zoidberg,A: Ow!
Zoidberg,A: Ow!,Leela,1: Come out of your universe with your hands up!
Leela,1: Come out of your universe with your hands up!,Fry,"A: Oh, wow! It's like that drug trip I saw in that movie when I was on that drug trip."
Fry,"A: Oh, wow! It's like that drug trip I saw in that movie when I was on that drug trip.",Farnsworth,A: Astonishing! I must have created a parallel universe.
Farnsworth,A: Astonishing! I must have created a parallel universe.,Farnsworth,1 universe. All you created was my fist parallel to your face.
Farnsworth,1 universe. All you created was my fist parallel to your face.,Farnsworth,A: Ow.
Farnsworth,A: Ow.,Leela,"A: Look, it doesn't matter who created what. The important thing is-- Yah!"
Leela,"A: Look, it doesn't matter who created what. The important thing is-- Yah!",Leela,"1: We're exactly the same. I know all her moves. Therefore, I've got the upper hand."
Leela,"1: We're exactly the same. I know all her moves. Therefore, I've got the upper hand.",Farnsworth,"1: Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything."
Farnsworth,"1: Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.",Farnsworth,"A As you can see, I accidentally created a box containing your universe."
Farnsworth,"A As you can see, I accidentally created a box containing your universe.",Farnsworth,"1: While I, in a simultaneous blunder, created a box containing your universe."
Farnsworth,"1: While I, in a simultaneous blunder, created a box containing your universe.",Leela,A: This is getting confusing. Why don't we call our universe Universe A and this universe Universe B?
Leela,A: This is getting confusing. Why don't we call our universe Universe A and this universe Universe B?,Bender,1: Hey! Why can't we be Universe A?
Bender,1: Hey! Why can't we be Universe A?,Fry,1: Yeah!
Fry,1: Yeah!,Amy,1: Yeah!
Amy,1: Yeah!,Farnsworth,1: We want A!
Farnsworth,1: We want A!,Zoidberg,1: It's the best letter!
Zoidberg,1: It's the best letter!,Fry,"A: We called it first. Besides, this place kinda feels like a B, y'know?"
Fry,"A: We called it first. Besides, this place kinda feels like a B, y'know?",Leela,"1: Alright, you can be crummy Universe A and we'll be Universe 1."
Leela,"1: Alright, you can be crummy Universe A and we'll be Universe 1.",Fry,1: Or The Mongooses. That's a cool team name. The Fighting Mongooses!
Fry,1: Or The Mongooses. That's a cool team name. The Fighting Mongooses!,Farnsworth,"A: Wait a second. If everyone is identical, why did our Leela look into the box and your Leela didn't?"
Farnsworth,"A: Wait a second. If everyone is identical, why did our Leela look into the box and your Leela didn't?",Leela,"1: Well, to be honest, I tossed a coin. It came up tails so I didn't look."
Leela,"1: Well, to be honest, I tossed a coin. It came up tails so I didn't look.",Leela,"A: That's weird. Mine came up heads, so I did."
Leela,"A: That's weird. Mine came up heads, so I did.",Farnsworth,"A: Interesting. Apparently, the key difference between our universes is that coin flips have opposite outcomes."
Farnsworth,"A: Interesting. Apparently, the key difference between our universes is that coin flips have opposite outcomes.",Bender,A I tossed a coin to pick my finish. Fog hat grey!
Bender,A I tossed a coin to pick my finish. Fog hat grey!,Bender,1: Hey! Bite my glorious golden ass!
Bender,1: Hey! Bite my glorious golden ass!,Farnsworth,A box with our universe in it?
Farnsworth,A box with our universe in it?,Farnsworth,"1: Oh, you'd like to get back to your evil universe, wouldn't you? And destroy your box with our universe inside it."
Farnsworth,"1: Oh, you'd like to get back to your evil universe, wouldn't you? And destroy your box with our universe inside it.",Farnsworth,A: Nonsense! I would never do such a thing unless you were already having been going to do that!
Farnsworth,A: Nonsense! I would never do such a thing unless you were already having been going to do that!,Farnsworth,1: Wha?
Farnsworth,1: Wha?,Farnsworth,A: You heard me!
Farnsworth,A: You heard me!,Farnsworth,1 counterpart.
Farnsworth,1 counterpart.,Farnsworth,A: And you all do the same!
Farnsworth,A: And you all do the same!,Leela,"1: Um, can Fry and I watch our parallel selves together? We have plans tonight."
Leela,"1: Um, can Fry and I watch our parallel selves together? We have plans tonight.",Leela,A?!
Leela,A?!,Fry,"1: Oh, no, no. We're married."
Fry,"1: Oh, no, no. We're married.",Bender,"A: I've got my eye on you, boy!"
Bender,"A: I've got my eye on you, boy!",Bender,"1: Don't even think about it, lunch-pail! You'd be dead before you hit the ground."
Bender,"1: Don't even think about it, lunch-pail! You'd be dead before you hit the ground.",Bender,A: Good point. Whattya say we just hit a strip joint?
Bender,A: Good point. Whattya say we just hit a strip joint?,Bender,"1 Bender A, you're a prince among robots. Can you forgive me for distrusting you?"
Bender,"1 Bender A, you're a prince among robots. Can you forgive me for distrusting you?",Bender,A: Aw! I can't stay mad at what is essentially me. I love me!
Bender,A: Aw! I can't stay mad at what is essentially me. I love me!,Amy,1: This is so great! I always wanted an imaginary friend!
Amy,1: This is so great! I always wanted an imaginary friend!,Amy,A nail polish?
Amy,A nail polish?,Amy,1 evil. And shallow.
Amy,1 evil. And shallow.,Amy,A evil!
Amy,A evil!,Leela,"A: So, Fry, Leela, how'd you two get together?"
Leela,"A: So, Fry, Leela, how'd you two get together?",Fry,1: Funny story. I asked Leela out a million times but she just kept rejecting me.
Fry,1: Funny story. I asked Leela out a million times but she just kept rejecting me.,Leela,1: I'd make up stuff like I have sweaty boot rash or I have to meet the President!
Leela,1: I'd make up stuff like I have sweaty boot rash or I have to meet the President!,Fry,"1: Oh, man, you never heard such excuses! But, like a dope, I believed her. Looking back on it now, it's kinda funny."
Fry,"1: Oh, man, you never heard such excuses! But, like a dope, I believed her. Looking back on it now, it's kinda funny.",Fry,"A: It sure is. Right, Leela? Funny. Ha ha ha ha!"
Fry,"A: It sure is. Right, Leela? Funny. Ha ha ha ha!",Leela,"1: Then one night, when Fry asked me out, the only excuse I could think of involved ghosts. I knew he wouldn't buy it, so I did what I always do in those situations."
Leela,"1: Then one night, when Fry asked me out, the only excuse I could think of involved ghosts. I knew he wouldn't buy it, so I did what I always do in those situations.",Leela,"A: Oh, Lord..."
Leela,"A: Oh, Lord...",Leela,1: I flipped a coin. It came up heads and we went out.
Leela,1: I flipped a coin. It came up heads and we went out.,Fry,A flipped a coin too? And it was tails? So that's why you said you had to meet that ghost.
Fry,A flipped a coin too? And it was tails? So that's why you said you had to meet that ghost.,Leela,"1: You really missed out on something, Leela. That date was magical."
Leela,"1: You really missed out on something, Leela. That date was magical.",Fry,"1: One year later, I gave Leela a diamond scrunchie and we were married."
Fry,"1: One year later, I gave Leela a diamond scrunchie and we were married.",Leela,A: Ooh!
Leela,A: Ooh!,Fry,A Scrunchie!
Fry,A Scrunchie!,Farnsworth,"1: Well, that was pointless."
Farnsworth,"1: Well, that was pointless.",Farnsworth,"A: Say, I hope you won't think it evil of me to ask how you got that stylish head wound."
Farnsworth,"A: Say, I hope you won't think it evil of me to ask how you got that stylish head wound.",Farnsworth,"1: Oh, this old thing? I was experimenting to see if I could remove my own brain."
Farnsworth,"1: Oh, this old thing? I was experimenting to see if I could remove my own brain.",Farnsworth,"A: Of course! I had the same idea. I flipped a coin to decide if I should proceed. But it came up tails, so I didn't. How'd it go?"
Farnsworth,"A: Of course! I had the same idea. I flipped a coin to decide if I should proceed. But it came up tails, so I didn't. How'd it go?",Farnsworth,1 was the easy part. The hard part was getting the brain out!
Farnsworth,1 was the easy part. The hard part was getting the brain out!,Farnsworth,"A: Oh, you!"
Farnsworth,"A: Oh, you!",Zoidberg,"1: So, tell me about yourself."
Zoidberg,"1: So, tell me about yourself.",Zoidberg,"A: Well, don't look into it, but I'm a respected internal medicine doctor. Ooh! A can!"
Zoidberg,"A: Well, don't look into it, but I'm a respected internal medicine doctor. Ooh! A can!",Zoidberg,1 I'm lying! I'm an appalling failure!
Zoidberg,1 I'm lying! I'm an appalling failure!,Zoidberg,"A: Me too! A big, fat one!"
Zoidberg,"A: Me too! A big, fat one!",Zoidberg,"1: And those co-workers, always looking down on us Zoidbergs. What are they, from Nob Hill?"
Zoidberg,"1: And those co-workers, always looking down on us Zoidbergs. What are they, from Nob Hill?",Zoidberg,"A: They're all like Stop spraying me with ink, Zoidberg! Put on pants, Zoidberg! Don't touch our fancy box, Zoidberg!"
Zoidberg,"A: They're all like Stop spraying me with ink, Zoidberg! Put on pants, Zoidberg! Don't touch our fancy box, Zoidberg!",Zoidberg,"1: Oh, that box! Too good for us, is it?"
Zoidberg,"1: Oh, that box! Too good for us, is it?",Zoidberg,A Zoidberg caresses their fancy box.
Zoidberg,A Zoidberg caresses their fancy box.,Zoidberg,"1: You know, maybe a certain blue lobster saw where Professor hid the box."
Zoidberg,"1: You know, maybe a certain blue lobster saw where Professor hid the box.",Farnsworth,"1: Good news, everyones!"
Farnsworth,"1: Good news, everyones!",Farnsworth,"A: After carefully reading the scriptures, we've concluded that none of us are evil."
Farnsworth,"A: After carefully reading the scriptures, we've concluded that none of us are evil.",Farnsworth,"1: Yes, the Bible is the real good news. Anyhow, you're all free to go back to your own universe."
Farnsworth,"1: Yes, the Bible is the real good news. Anyhow, you're all free to go back to your own universe.",Hermes,1: What's goin' on here? Why aren't you all out destroying the Professor's box?
Hermes,1: What's goin' on here? Why aren't you all out destroying the Professor's box?,Leela,"1: Hermes, aren't you curious about the fact that there's two of everybody?"
Leela,"1: Hermes, aren't you curious about the fact that there's two of everybody?",Hermes,"1: No. Now like my granny used to say back in her tarpaper shack on Montego Bay, If you want a box hurled into the sun, you got to do it yourself."
Hermes,"1: No. Now like my granny used to say back in her tarpaper shack on Montego Bay, If you want a box hurled into the sun, you got to do it yourself.",Farnsworth,1: Your granny can go to hell! I've hidden the box so no one can destroy the home universe of my handsome friend here.
Farnsworth,1: Your granny can go to hell! I've hidden the box so no one can destroy the home universe of my handsome friend here.,Farnsworth,"A: Oh, go on! Wait a second. If your Hermes was about to destroy the box containing our universe..."
Farnsworth,"A: Oh, go on! Wait a second. If your Hermes was about to destroy the box containing our universe...",Farnsworth,1 Hermes...
Farnsworth,1 Hermes...,Farnsworth,"A: Oh, my!"
Farnsworth,"A: Oh, my!",Narrator,And sure enough...
Narrator,And sure enough...,Hermes,"Like Granny said, If you want a box hurled into the sun, you got to do it yourself. God rest her zombie bones."
Hermes,"Like Granny said, If you want a box hurled into the sun, you got to do it yourself. God rest her zombie bones.",Leela,A: So we go back through the box and stop Hermes?
Leela,A: So we go back through the box and stop Hermes?,Farnsworth,A: Right. Good thing Professor B there hid it in the coelacanth tank. No one but a crazy lobster would look there!
Farnsworth,A: Right. Good thing Professor B there hid it in the coelacanth tank. No one but a crazy lobster would look there!,Farnsworth,1: It's gone!
Farnsworth,1: It's gone!,Zoidberg,"A Now it's my turn, maybe?"
Zoidberg,"A Now it's my turn, maybe?",Zoidberg,1: The box says no.
Zoidberg,1: The box says no.,Narrator,"Meanwhile in Universe A, Hermes A heads towards the sun ... A."
Narrator,"Meanwhile in Universe A, Hermes A heads towards the sun ... A.",Hermes,That's a big check.
Hermes,That's a big check.,Hermes,"1: If I know parallel Hermes, he's at the sun by now."
Hermes,"1: If I know parallel Hermes, he's at the sun by now.",Bender,1: Our universe is doomed!
Bender,1: Our universe is doomed!,Bender,1 and Bender A!
Bender,1 and Bender A!,Farnsworth,"1: Now don't give up yet, you cry babies. The box is gone but we still have one preposterously slim hope."
Farnsworth,"1: Now don't give up yet, you cry babies. The box is gone but we still have one preposterously slim hope.",Amy,A: Is it a kind of hairspray?
Amy,A: Is it a kind of hairspray?,Farnsworth,A: No! We must attempt to make another box containing our universe. Doy!
Farnsworth,A: No! We must attempt to make another box containing our universe. Doy!,Fry,1: Well? Is that your universe in there?
Fry,1: Well? Is that your universe in there?,Fry,A: Nope. Too cold.
Fry,A: Nope. Too cold.,Farnsworth,A I'll put this one aside for later.
Farnsworth,A I'll put this one aside for later.,Hermes,"1: Oh, man, it's hopeless! We'll never find your universe in time. Plus, this box is stuck on my fat head."
Hermes,"1: Oh, man, it's hopeless! We'll never find your universe in time. Plus, this box is stuck on my fat head.",Farnsworth,"1: Yes, it's the apocalypse alright. I always thought I'd have a hand in it."
Farnsworth,"1: Yes, it's the apocalypse alright. I always thought I'd have a hand in it.",Bender,"1: I'm not sad because I finally found someone as great as me. It's like I always say, Make new friends and keep the old. One is silver--"
Bender,"1: I'm not sad because I finally found someone as great as me. It's like I always say, Make new friends and keep the old. One is silver--",Bender,A: And the other's gold.
Bender,A: And the other's gold.,Zoidberg,1: Why with the long faces?
Zoidberg,1: Why with the long faces?,Leela,1: The idiots have the box!
Leela,1: The idiots have the box!,Zoidberg,A: I think she means you.
Zoidberg,A: I think she means you.,Farnsworth,1: Grab them!
Farnsworth,1: Grab them!,Zoidberg,1: You coward! Wait for me!
Zoidberg,1: You coward! Wait for me!,Amy,Blug! Which one did they go into?
Amy,Blug! Which one did they go into?,Farnsworth,"A: Oh, let's all ask each other! That'll solve this problem!"
Farnsworth,"A: Oh, let's all ask each other! That'll solve this problem!",Farnsworth,"1: We'll each have to search a universe. Everyone, grab a length of wire first so you can find your way back."
Farnsworth,"1: We'll each have to search a universe. Everyone, grab a length of wire first so you can find your way back.",Amy,1: Hello? Did you see two smelly lobsters?
Amy,1: Hello? Did you see two smelly lobsters?,Hermes,25 ... ever!
Hermes,25 ... ever!,Fry,"Yo! Uh, did two shellfish in scrubs go by?"
Fry,"Yo! Uh, did two shellfish in scrubs go by?",Fry,"1729: Hell, no!"
Fry,"1729: Hell, no!",Leela,1729: Shut up!
Leela,1729: Shut up!,Bender,"1729: Beat it, jerk!"
Bender,"1729: Beat it, jerk!",Leela,"A: Uh, have you robot versions of you guys seen any extra Zoidbergs around here?"
Leela,"A: Uh, have you robot versions of you guys seen any extra Zoidbergs around here?",Fry,31: Negative. Will you go out with me?
Fry,31: Negative. Will you go out with me?,Leela,"A: Uh, access denied."
Leela,"A: Uh, access denied.",Bender,"1: Hey, pal, look what I snagged from the Leprechaun Universe!"
Bender,"1: Hey, pal, look what I snagged from the Leprechaun Universe!",Bender,Universe!
Bender,Universe!,Bender,1: Faith and begorra!
Bender,1: Faith and begorra!,Farnsworth,XVII?
Farnsworth,XVII?,Zoidberg,A: Quick! Into another box!
Zoidberg,A: Quick! Into another box!,Zoidberg,"1: There aren't any in this universe, there aren't. Hey, you, what with the no boxes?"
Zoidberg,"1: There aren't any in this universe, there aren't. Hey, you, what with the no boxes?",Farnsworth,420 right now.
Farnsworth,420 right now.,Farnsworth,1: There they are!
Farnsworth,1: There they are!,Farnsworth,A: Gotcha!
Farnsworth,A: Gotcha!,Farnsworth,420: Dig it! All of you fitting in this boxed is like seriously freaked up!
Farnsworth,420: Dig it! All of you fitting in this boxed is like seriously freaked up!,Farnsworth,"1: Nonsense! Why, there's a whole universe in there."
Farnsworth,"1: Nonsense! Why, there's a whole universe in there.",Farnsworth,"420: Dude, there's a universe in all of us."
Farnsworth,"420: Dude, there's a universe in all of us.",Amy,"420: Right on, Professor Freaksworth!"
Amy,"420: Right on, Professor Freaksworth!",Farnsworth,"A We've got the box. Everyone, pull your wires."
Farnsworth,"A We've got the box. Everyone, pull your wires.",Farnsworth,A: Hurry! Back to Universe A!
Farnsworth,A: Hurry! Back to Universe A!,Farnsworth,"A: Hermes, don't press that button!"
Farnsworth,"A: Hermes, don't press that button!",Hermes,OK.
Hermes,OK.,Fry,A: Bye.
Fry,A: Bye.,Leela,"A: Good luck, Leela."
Leela,"A: Good luck, Leela.",Zoidberg,"A: So long, Your Majesty!"
Zoidberg,"A: So long, Your Majesty!",Amy,1: Later!
Amy,1: Later!,Fry,"There but for the flip of a coin go we. So, um, Leela? Seeing how the universe wasn't destroyed, you wanna catch an ape fight? You know, together?"
Fry,"There but for the flip of a coin go we. So, um, Leela? Seeing how the universe wasn't destroyed, you wanna catch an ape fight? You know, together?",Leela,"Well, I guess you deserve one more flip."
Leela,"Well, I guess you deserve one more flip.",Fry,"So, heads or tails?"
Fry,"So, heads or tails?",Leela,"Y'know, let's just say it's heads."
Leela,"Y'know, let's just say it's heads.",Farnsworth,Ready?
Farnsworth,Ready?,Farnsworth,"and  One, two, three, pull!"
Farnsworth,"and  One, two, three, pull!",Farnsworth,There. That space-time eversion has given us their box and vice versa.
Farnsworth,There. That space-time eversion has given us their box and vice versa.,Leela,"So, what you think you just explained to us is that--"
Leela,"So, what you think you just explained to us is that--",Farnsworth,Correct! This box contains our own universe.
Farnsworth,Correct! This box contains our own universe.,Hermes,Sweet honey bee of infinity!
Hermes,Sweet honey bee of infinity!,Leela,Bender! Quit destroying the universe!
Leela,Bender! Quit destroying the universe!,Bender,But--
Bender,But--,Farnsworth,"Yes, all that is and ever shall be is in that box. And the box itself is probably worth something too. We must cherish it, as we cherish every moment of our lives."
Farnsworth,"Yes, all that is and ever shall be is in that box. And the box itself is probably worth something too. We must cherish it, as we cherish every moment of our lives.",Announcer,And to the victor belong the spoils; one trillion dollars in silken treasure.
Announcer,And to the victor belong the spoils; one trillion dollars in silken treasure.,Zapp,Mmm!
Zapp,Mmm!,Nixon,"My fellow Earthicans, after meeting with top voodoo economists, I have decided to refund our silk surplus to you, the taxpayers. That's right! I've sent you each 300 buckaroos in the form of a Tricky Dick Fun Bill. Knock yourselves out!"
Nixon,"My fellow Earthicans, after meeting with top voodoo economists, I have decided to refund our silk surplus to you, the taxpayers. That's right! I've sent you each 300 buckaroos in the form of a Tricky Dick Fun Bill. Knock yourselves out!",Zoidberg,Money!
Zoidberg,Money!,Amy,I'm slightly richer!
Amy,I'm slightly richer!,Bender,"What to do, what to do? One $300 hookerbot or 300 $1 hookerbots?"
Bender,"What to do, what to do? One $300 hookerbot or 300 $1 hookerbots?",Leela,I'm going to swim with a whale. They're the gentle giants of the deep.
Leela,I'm going to swim with a whale. They're the gentle giants of the deep.,Farnsworth,I'm well aware of that.
Farnsworth,I'm well aware of that.,Scruffy,Scruffy's gonna get himself one of them $300 haircuts. This one's lost its pizzazz!
Scruffy,Scruffy's gonna get himself one of them $300 haircuts. This one's lost its pizzazz!,Zoidberg,"A fortune, it is! At last Zoidberg will live like a rich man!"
Zoidberg,"A fortune, it is! At last Zoidberg will live like a rich man!",Nixon,"Hey, cut it out! Go away! Get away!"
Nixon,"Hey, cut it out! Go away! Get away!",Amy,"Shmeesh! It's just 300 bucks. What is that, like a hundred cups of coffee?"
Amy,"Shmeesh! It's just 300 bucks. What is that, like a hundred cups of coffee?",Fry,"Coffee machine, one cup of coffee, please."
Fry,"Coffee machine, one cup of coffee, please.",Nixon,Smells good!
Nixon,Smells good!,Zapp,Leela? Are you there?
Zapp,Leela? Are you there?,Leela,No.
Leela,No.,Zapp,"Oh, yes, you are! I'm hereby inviting you and your oddball co-workers to a special reception to display the national silk surplus. I believe you know the heroic space stallion who captured it. Show them my medal, Kif."
Zapp,"Oh, yes, you are! I'm hereby inviting you and your oddball co-workers to a special reception to display the national silk surplus. I believe you know the heroic space stallion who captured it. Show them my medal, Kif.",Kif,He rented it with his tax refund.
Kif,He rented it with his tax refund.,Zapp,"So, Leela, will you have the pleasure?"
Zapp,"So, Leela, will you have the pleasure?",Leela,What little there is to be had.
Leela,What little there is to be had.,Zapp,Tomorrow night at eight them. Smooches!
Zapp,Tomorrow night at eight them. Smooches!,Crack,Addict: No cheap crack houses for me no more!
Crack,Addict: No cheap crack houses for me no more!,Man,"#1: Very good, sir. Shall I pre-warm sir's crack pipe?"
Man,"#1: Very good, sir. Shall I pre-warm sir's crack pipe?",Amy,"Oh, Kif, it was so romantic of you to rent this paddle plane with your tax rebate. We're like two dandelion seeds wafting on the breeze."
Amy,"Oh, Kif, it was so romantic of you to rent this paddle plane with your tax rebate. We're like two dandelion seeds wafting on the breeze.",Kif,Yes. Seeds ... wafting.
Kif,Yes. Seeds ... wafting.,Amy,I almost feel kinda shallow for blowing my rebate on this cool talking tattoo!
Amy,I almost feel kinda shallow for blowing my rebate on this cool talking tattoo!,Tattoo,"#1: Hey, Gordon Gecko! I cost as much as this whole crummy date!"
Tattoo,"#1: Hey, Gordon Gecko! I cost as much as this whole crummy date!",Amy,Ow!
Amy,Ow!,Farnsworth,"Uh, ma'am, it has become too much of a chore for me to clean out my wrinkles each day. Is it true that stem cells may fight the aging process?"
Farnsworth,"Uh, ma'am, it has become too much of a chore for me to clean out my wrinkles each day. Is it true that stem cells may fight the aging process?",Geneworks,"Woman: Well, yes. In the same way an infant may fight Muhammad Ali. But--"
Geneworks,"Woman: Well, yes. In the same way an infant may fight Muhammad Ali. But--",Farnsworth,"One pound of stem cells, please."
Farnsworth,"One pound of stem cells, please.",Geneworks,"Woman: Of course, any age-reversing effects will be purely temporary."
Geneworks,"Woman: Of course, any age-reversing effects will be purely temporary.",Bender,"Say, buddy, why's this Grand Cigar so pricey?"
Bender,"Say, buddy, why's this Grand Cigar so pricey?",Clerk,"and was buried with George Burns until graverobbing space mushrooms-- Uh, well you know the rest."
Clerk,"and was buried with George Burns until graverobbing space mushrooms-- Uh, well you know the rest.",Bender,Give you 300 bucks for it.
Bender,Give you 300 bucks for it.,Clerk,No can do.
Clerk,No can do.,Bender,"Oh, alright, I'll just take these $300 burglars tools then."
Bender,"Oh, alright, I'll just take these $300 burglars tools then.",Clerk,"Very good, sir."
Clerk,"Very good, sir.",Bender,"So, uh, what time d'you close tonight?"
Bender,"So, uh, what time d'you close tonight?",Dwight,"Hey, Pops! Did that tax rebate come?"
Dwight,"Hey, Pops! Did that tax rebate come?",Hermes,"With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun."
Hermes,"With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun.",Dwight,"But, Pops, I don't wanna have fun. I wanna be like you; boring but prudently invested."
Dwight,"But, Pops, I don't wanna have fun. I wanna be like you; boring but prudently invested.",Hermes,Babylon's bells! I tallied almost 300 bananas on this entertainment product. Now you put 'em on and have fun.
Hermes,Babylon's bells! I tallied almost 300 bananas on this entertainment product. Now you put 'em on and have fun.,Dwight,I don't wanna!
Dwight,I don't wanna!,Hermes,Dwight! Help me!
Hermes,Dwight! Help me!,Dwight,"I'll save you, Pops!"
Dwight,"I'll save you, Pops!",Farnsworth,Up!
Farnsworth,Up!,Hermes,Isn't this fun?
Hermes,Isn't this fun?,Dwight,No! I wish I had two mommies!
Dwight,No! I wish I had two mommies!,Randy,"Try these, uh, sir."
Randy,"Try these, uh, sir.",Randy,Ow!
Randy,Ow!,Leela,"I'd like a pass to swim with Mushu, please."
Leela,"I'd like a pass to swim with Mushu, please.",Whale,Biologist Especially Mushu.
Whale,Biologist Especially Mushu.,Leela,Then why'd you become a whale biologist?
Leela,Then why'd you become a whale biologist?,Whale,Biologist Noon tomorrow. If you're late you only get to tread water in the scallop tank.
Whale,Biologist Noon tomorrow. If you're late you only get to tread water in the scallop tank.,Fry,"Uh, I'll have a coffee."
Fry,"Uh, I'll have a coffee.",Man,"#2: Guppy, trout, mermaid or--"
Man,"#2: Guppy, trout, mermaid or--",Fry,"Whale, please."
Fry,"Whale, please.",Kif,"Amy, I-I also spent some of my tax rebate on a gift for you."
Kif,"Amy, I-I also spent some of my tax rebate on a gift for you.",Amy,"Oh, Kiffie!"
Amy,"Oh, Kiffie!",Kif,"It shows the time wherever we both are. And it's powered by love! Also, you have to wind it."
Kif,"It shows the time wherever we both are. And it's powered by love! Also, you have to wind it.",Tattoo,#1: Oh! Somebody won big at Skeeball!
Tattoo,#1: Oh! Somebody won big at Skeeball!,Amy,"Hi, Fry and Leela!"
Amy,"Hi, Fry and Leela!",Kif,"Oh! Keep peddling! Oh, for the love of God, keep peddling!"
Kif,"Oh! Keep peddling! Oh, for the love of God, keep peddling!",Amy,"Bye, Fry and Leela!"
Amy,"Bye, Fry and Leela!",Tattoo,"#1: Oh, I can't wait until the tattoos on Amy's butt hear about this!"
Tattoo,"#1: Oh, I can't wait until the tattoos on Amy's butt hear about this!",Tattoo,#2: Hear about what?
Tattoo,#2: Hear about what?,Tattoo,#3: Tell us!
Tattoo,#3: Tell us!,Amy,"Don't feel sad, my little tadpole."
Amy,"Don't feel sad, my little tadpole.",Kif,I'm trying not to. But my gift to you is in the belly of a whale.
Kif,I'm trying not to. But my gift to you is in the belly of a whale.,Zoidberg,"Say, this reminds me of that time I ate that other watch Kif gave you."
Zoidberg,"Say, this reminds me of that time I ate that other watch Kif gave you.",Amy,"Hey, it is kinda like that."
Amy,"Hey, it is kinda like that.",Zoidberg,What a Valentine's Day that was!
Zoidberg,What a Valentine's Day that was!,Leela,"Hmm. This may seem like a huge coincidence, but I happen to have an in with that whale."
Leela,"Hmm. This may seem like a huge coincidence, but I happen to have an in with that whale.",Scruffy,"Scruffy's formulated a plan, but you'll need a ready source of nauseatin' rotten fish."
Scruffy,"Scruffy's formulated a plan, but you'll need a ready source of nauseatin' rotten fish.",Elzar,"Freshen your coffee, sir?"
Elzar,"Freshen your coffee, sir?",Fry,"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Keep it coming! Put the pot down! Get away!"
Fry,"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Keep it coming! Put the pot down! Get away!",April,You're so young in spirit. It's hard to believe you're as old as 25.
April,You're so young in spirit. It's hard to believe you're as old as 25.,Farnsworth,The key is to grab life by the hojos! Live every day like it might be your last.
Farnsworth,The key is to grab life by the hojos! Live every day like it might be your last.,Elzar,"What'll it be, kids?"
Elzar,"What'll it be, kids?",Farnsworth,One bowl of mild farina.
Farnsworth,One bowl of mild farina.,Leela,Hi-yah!
Leela,Hi-yah!,Elzar,and caviar.
Elzar,and caviar.,Zoidberg,Pah! Where's the goose? Where's the fish?
Zoidberg,Pah! Where's the goose? Where's the fish?,Elzar,"Hey, that's what rich people eat. The garbage parts of the food."
Elzar,"Hey, that's what rich people eat. The garbage parts of the food.",Zoidberg,"Farewell, good sir!"
Zoidberg,"Farewell, good sir!",Bender,Le Grand Cigar! She is mine! And with absolutely no consequences.
Bender,Le Grand Cigar! She is mine! And with absolutely no consequences.,Smitty,You see that?
Smitty,You see that?,URL,"Grand theft tobacco. Time to get off our fat, cop asses and ride!"
URL,"Grand theft tobacco. Time to get off our fat, cop asses and ride!",Elzar,Pee-yew! This fish is slightly too rotten to even make jambalaya.
Elzar,Pee-yew! This fish is slightly too rotten to even make jambalaya.,Amy,"So far, so good. Where's Kif?"
Amy,"So far, so good. Where's Kif?",Fry,And the cup's shaking! I don't want my coffee shaking!
Fry,And the cup's shaking! I don't want my coffee shaking!,Bender,"You seem a tad wound up, buddy. And your face is greasy. Real greasy! You been up all night?"
Bender,"You seem a tad wound up, buddy. And your face is greasy. Real greasy! You been up all night?",Fry,Coffee time!
Fry,Coffee time!,Bender,Ah! Mighty fine smokable!
Bender,Ah! Mighty fine smokable!,Fry,"Fancy cigar. Why don't you smoke it already? Puff, puff! Go, go, go, go, go!"
Fry,"Fancy cigar. Why don't you smoke it already? Puff, puff! Go, go, go, go, go!",Bender,"Nah, you can't blow the smoke from such a majestic stogie in just anyone's face. I'm saving it for the fancy-pantses at Zapp Brannigan's black tie reception. You comin'?"
Bender,"Nah, you can't blow the smoke from such a majestic stogie in just anyone's face. I'm saving it for the fancy-pantses at Zapp Brannigan's black tie reception. You comin'?",Whale,Biologist: And the fifth reason whales kill is for the sheer fun of it.
Whale,Biologist: And the fifth reason whales kill is for the sheer fun of it.,Leela,Anything else?
Leela,Anything else?,Whale,"Biologist Hey, I calls 'em like I sees 'em! I'm a whale biologist."
Whale,"Biologist Hey, I calls 'em like I sees 'em! I'm a whale biologist.",Leela,"Oh, crud! He ate my suit."
Leela,"Oh, crud! He ate my suit.",Whale,Biologist: The suit was ugly. Whale biologist!
Whale,Biologist: The suit was ugly. Whale biologist!,Caddy,"Perhaps if you tightened your grip, sir?"
Caddy,"Perhaps if you tightened your grip, sir?",Zoidberg,"Bah! Rich people wouldn't waste their time on this nonsense. Plus, these eggs are gritty and tasteless."
Zoidberg,"Bah! Rich people wouldn't waste their time on this nonsense. Plus, these eggs are gritty and tasteless.",Farnsworth,Ow! Not so rough!
Farnsworth,Ow! Not so rough!,Whale,"Biologist: Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Mushu, the educated whale who thinks he's better than you."
Whale,"Biologist: Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Mushu, the educated whale who thinks he's better than you.",Amy,"C'mon, Mushu! Barf! Barf like a freshman!"
Amy,"C'mon, Mushu! Barf! Barf like a freshman!",Whale,Biologist Who wants a fish?
Whale,Biologist Who wants a fish?,Sam,Mushu is sad!
Sam,Mushu is sad!,URL,It just keeps comin' and comin'.
URL,It just keeps comin' and comin'.,Kif,"I got it, Amy! I got it! The plan went off without a--"
Kif,"I got it, Amy! I got it! The plan went off without a--",Whale,Biologist: He's got aquarium property! Stop him!
Whale,Biologist: He's got aquarium property! Stop him!,URL,Better do what he says. He's a whale biologist.
URL,Better do what he says. He's a whale biologist.,Smitty,"You're under arrest, you squishy punk!"
Smitty,"You're under arrest, you squishy punk!",Zapp,"The Spiderians, though weak and woman-like on the battlefield, are masters of the textile arts. Taste like king crab, by the way. Crazy bugs actually wove this tapestry of my heroic conquest while I was still killing them."
Zapp,"The Spiderians, though weak and woman-like on the battlefield, are masters of the textile arts. Taste like king crab, by the way. Crazy bugs actually wove this tapestry of my heroic conquest while I was still killing them.",Zoidberg,"One art, please!"
Zoidberg,"One art, please!",Mom,"What a clever impersonation of a stupid, poor person. How much is that placemat actually worth, Brannigan?"
Mom,"What a clever impersonation of a stupid, poor person. How much is that placemat actually worth, Brannigan?",Zapp,Exactly $1 billion.
Zapp,Exactly $1 billion.,Mom,walking-around money!
Mom,walking-around money!,Nixon,What? Hey! Wait! Aroo!
Nixon,What? Hey! Wait! Aroo!,Whitey,"Yes, it reminds me of a joke I heard about upper-middle-class people."
Whitey,"Yes, it reminds me of a joke I heard about upper-middle-class people.",Amy,I've never been sad at a party before. I wonder if my mind is thinking about Kif being in jail.
Amy,I've never been sad at a party before. I wonder if my mind is thinking about Kif being in jail.,Scruffy.,"Course, it's shank or be shanked."
Scruffy.,"Course, it's shank or be shanked.",Amy,Of course.
Amy,Of course.,Whale,"Biologist: Look, just give back our property and we'll drop the charges."
Whale,"Biologist: Look, just give back our property and we'll drop the charges.",Kif,"Fine, have the watch. It's broken anyway."
Kif,"Fine, have the watch. It's broken anyway.",Whale,Biologist: I don't want your watch. You're covered in precious ambergris.
Whale,Biologist: I don't want your watch. You're covered in precious ambergris.,Kif,Precious ... hamburgers?
Kif,Precious ... hamburgers?,Holo-Roseanne,"Ambergris. Noun. A grease-like product of the sperm whales digestive tract that is used as a base in the finest perfumes. This has been Roseanne, your guide to the world of facts."
Holo-Roseanne,"Ambergris. Noun. A grease-like product of the sperm whales digestive tract that is used as a base in the finest perfumes. This has been Roseanne, your guide to the world of facts.",Whale,Biologist: You heard Roseanne. Scrape off the priceless ambergris and I'll let you go.
Whale,Biologist: You heard Roseanne. Scrape off the priceless ambergris and I'll let you go.,Kif,"Or-Or better yet, I'll simply shed my skin."
Kif,"Or-Or better yet, I'll simply shed my skin.",Morbo,you!
Morbo,you!,Farnsworth,"Uh, gotta go. Uh, fight club!"
Farnsworth,"Uh, gotta go. Uh, fight club!",April,"What's happening, Hubie?"
April,"What's happening, Hubie?",Farnsworth,I'm afraid the face you fell in love with was actually just a blob of living gunk I bought with my tax refund.
Farnsworth,I'm afraid the face you fell in love with was actually just a blob of living gunk I bought with my tax refund.,April,"Well as long as we're being honest, I also spent my tax refund on a crazy treatment."
April,"Well as long as we're being honest, I also spent my tax refund on a crazy treatment.",Farnsworth,That certainly is honest.
Farnsworth,That certainly is honest.,April,"It's better for us to both just be ourselves. You, wrinkled as a prune."
April,"It's better for us to both just be ourselves. You, wrinkled as a prune.",Farnsworth,"You, fat as the queen of sea cows."
Farnsworth,"You, fat as the queen of sea cows.",April,I love you!
April,I love you!,Farnsworth,"Oh, my!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, my!",Kif,"So, you see, the putrid, waxy substance I was coated with was--"
Kif,"So, you see, the putrid, waxy substance I was coated with was--",Amy,Not precious ambergris!
Amy,Not precious ambergris!,Kif,"Using that, I'll make you a perfume of lilac and jasmine and frankenberry."
Kif,"Using that, I'll make you a perfume of lilac and jasmine and frankenberry.",Amy,"Oh, Kif, it's so romantic I can't even wait! I'm gonna wear it right now."
Amy,"Oh, Kif, it's so romantic I can't even wait! I'm gonna wear it right now.",Mom,Who smells like freaking porpoise hork?
Mom,Who smells like freaking porpoise hork?,Amy,"I do! Kiss me, Kif!"
Amy,"I do! Kiss me, Kif!",Zoidberg,"Oh, what a foolish squid I've been. I'm not rich. I can't even buy one measly masterpiece."
Zoidberg,"Oh, what a foolish squid I've been. I'm not rich. I can't even buy one measly masterpiece.",Gus,"Pardon us, gent. Might a couple of hungry, hungry hobos take a feed from that aluminum snack box?"
Gus,"Pardon us, gent. Might a couple of hungry, hungry hobos take a feed from that aluminum snack box?",Zoidberg,"So now I'm in the gutter, surrounded by bums who eat garbage? Money brought me no happiness. Bupkiss!"
Zoidberg,"So now I'm in the gutter, surrounded by bums who eat garbage? Money brought me no happiness. Bupkiss!",Dandy,Jim: Ooh! This boot's got a little pudding at the bottom.
Dandy,Jim: Ooh! This boot's got a little pudding at the bottom.,Beeler,"Interestingly, the Spiderians are more closely related to our elephants than our spiders."
Beeler,"Interestingly, the Spiderians are more closely related to our elephants than our spiders.",Hermes,Don't mind us!
Hermes,Don't mind us!,Nixon,The loot! The loot! The loot is on fire!
Nixon,The loot! The loot! The loot is on fire!,Zapp,"Leela, my precious rock tub. I'll save you!"
Zapp,"Leela, my precious rock tub. I'll save you!",Kif,Everyone! To the fire door!
Kif,Everyone! To the fire door!,Leela,It's on fire!
Leela,It's on fire!,Farnsworth,"We're trapped, my sweet hippopotamus!"
Farnsworth,"We're trapped, my sweet hippopotamus!",Fry,"Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee!"
Fry,"Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee!",Dwight,"Where are we, Pops?"
Dwight,"Where are we, Pops?",Farnsworth,Wha?
Farnsworth,Wha?,April,What happened to the food?
April,What happened to the food?,Leela,I think we were saved by a mysterious orange blur.
Leela,I think we were saved by a mysterious orange blur.,Zoidberg,"Welcome, one and all. I finally figured out how money could make me happy. By using it to buy my hungry friends a feast."
Zoidberg,"Welcome, one and all. I finally figured out how money could make me happy. By using it to buy my hungry friends a feast.",Dandy,Jim: Everyone join us. Oysters Rockefeller here has provided genuine turkey dogs!
Dandy,Jim: Everyone join us. Oysters Rockefeller here has provided genuine turkey dogs!,Whitey,"Heck, you're never too rich to enjoy a free turkey dog."
Whitey,"Heck, you're never too rich to enjoy a free turkey dog.",Amy,Yeah!
Amy,Yeah!,Bender,Alright! Turkey dog!
Bender,Alright! Turkey dog!,April,I'll take four!
April,I'll take four!,Leela,Me too!
Leela,Me too!,Mom,"Oh, what the hell."
Mom,"Oh, what the hell.",Hermes,"Here, Dwight. The boots only cost $299.99. You invest this penny like you wanted."
Hermes,"Here, Dwight. The boots only cost $299.99. You invest this penny like you wanted.",Dwight,"Thanks, Dad. I'm gonna take this and buy five shares of Amazon.com."
Dwight,"Thanks, Dad. I'm gonna take this and buy five shares of Amazon.com.",Hermes,A risk-taker? That's my boy!
Hermes,A risk-taker? That's my boy!,Nixon,"The entire surplus is gone! Oh, what a McGovern I've been! Why did I have to issue that crooked tax rebate?"
Nixon,"The entire surplus is gone! Oh, what a McGovern I've been! Why did I have to issue that crooked tax rebate?",Leela,At least we got a few mildly interesting stories out of it.
Leela,At least we got a few mildly interesting stories out of it.,Farnsworth,"Oh, my, yes."
Farnsworth,"Oh, my, yes.",Bender,"Speaking of which, my story kinda petered out without me learning a lesson."
Bender,"Speaking of which, my story kinda petered out without me learning a lesson.",Smitty,There he is!
Smitty,There he is!,Bender,Alright! Closure!
Bender,Alright! Closure!,Holo-Roseanne,"This has been Roseanne, your guide to the world of facts."
Holo-Roseanne,"This has been Roseanne, your guide to the world of facts.",John,DiMaggio: Prepare for the stereophonic experience.
John,DiMaggio: Prepare for the stereophonic experience.,Bender,"Aw, New New York City! Woooo! Woooo! Don' worry about it! Do the robot, baby!"
Bender,"Aw, New New York City! Woooo! Woooo! Don' worry about it! Do the robot, baby!",Farnsworth,"Oh, Lord! Hiking is always such a strain on the buttocks."
Farnsworth,"Oh, Lord! Hiking is always such a strain on the buttocks.",Fry,Shh! What was that sound?
Fry,Shh! What was that sound?,Bender,"Aww, they're so cute when they're scared."
Bender,"Aww, they're so cute when they're scared.",Fry,"I meant the sound Bigfoot just made. He's been sighted a lot in this area recently. Just last week, a blind hiker felt him."
Fry,"I meant the sound Bigfoot just made. He's been sighted a lot in this area recently. Just last week, a blind hiker felt him.",Farnsworth,"Don't tell me you actually believe in Bigfoot, you blathering ninny-hammer."
Farnsworth,"Don't tell me you actually believe in Bigfoot, you blathering ninny-hammer.",Fry,"Of course I do! Bigfoot's my hero. Growing up, he was the celebrity I most identified with."
Fry,"Of course I do! Bigfoot's my hero. Growing up, he was the celebrity I most identified with.",Zoidberg,Why?
Zoidberg,Why?,Fry,'Cause he was a loner who hated the popular monsters yet longed to be one.
Fry,'Cause he was a loner who hated the popular monsters yet longed to be one.,Zoidberg,I can so relate to that.
Zoidberg,I can so relate to that.,Leela,Although you wouldn't know it from looking.
Leela,Although you wouldn't know it from looking.,Zoidberg,"Bender, if you want to sleep in the tent tonight, you're welcome to join me and Hermes for a little just friends spooning."
Zoidberg,"Bender, if you want to sleep in the tent tonight, you're welcome to join me and Hermes for a little just friends spooning.",Bender,comfy!
Bender,comfy!,Ranger,"Park: Hey, I'm Ranger Park, the park ranger."
Ranger,"Park: Hey, I'm Ranger Park, the park ranger.",Fry,I get it!
Fry,I get it!,Ranger,"Park: Now since this area's a national Bigfoot preserve, we'll start with a short film about Bigfoot while I make a few phone calls."
Ranger,"Park: Now since this area's a national Bigfoot preserve, we'll start with a short film about Bigfoot while I make a few phone calls.",Narrator,"... dwells the strange and beautiful creature known as Bigfoot, perhaps."
Narrator,"... dwells the strange and beautiful creature known as Bigfoot, perhaps.",Fry,That proves it!
Fry,That proves it!,Narrator,"They typically dwell just behind rocks but are also sometimes playful, bounding into thick fogs and out-of-focus areas."
Narrator,"They typically dwell just behind rocks but are also sometimes playful, bounding into thick fogs and out-of-focus areas.",Ranger,"Park: It should say Top Quality Exercycle For Sale and could you put top quality in bold? You can't? OK, whatever."
Ranger,"Park: It should say Top Quality Exercycle For Sale and could you put top quality in bold? You can't? OK, whatever.",Narrator,"Remember, it's up to us. Bigfoot is a crucial part of the ecosystem, if he exists. So let's all help keep Bigfoot possibly alive for future generations to enjoy unless he doesn't exist. The end."
Narrator,"Remember, it's up to us. Bigfoot is a crucial part of the ecosystem, if he exists. So let's all help keep Bigfoot possibly alive for future generations to enjoy unless he doesn't exist. The end.",Ranger,"Park Alright, questions?"
Ranger,"Park Alright, questions?",Sal,Yeah. Have yous ever seens Bigfeet?
Sal,Yeah. Have yous ever seens Bigfeet?,Ranger,"Park: Technically, no. But I do see him each night in my dreams and each day in the smiling faces of hairy children."
Ranger,"Park: Technically, no. But I do see him each night in my dreams and each day in the smiling faces of hairy children.",Farnsworth,Bunk! Bunk I say! Bring me a bag full of Bigfoot's droppings or shut up!
Farnsworth,Bunk! Bunk I say! Bring me a bag full of Bigfoot's droppings or shut up!,Ranger,Park Bigfoot.
Ranger,Park Bigfoot.,Farnsworth,Shut up!
Farnsworth,Shut up!,Bender,"Oh, my God! Look! It's Bigfoot!"
Bender,"Oh, my God! Look! It's Bigfoot!",Ranger,Park: Where?
Ranger,Park: Where?,Bender,"Eh, he's gone. He said you should keep wasting your life though."
Bender,"Eh, he's gone. He said you should keep wasting your life though.",Petunia,Oh! I saw Bigfoot crushing cars at the county fair.
Petunia,Oh! I saw Bigfoot crushing cars at the county fair.,Ranger,Park. But thanks for a great question.
Ranger,Park. But thanks for a great question.,Fry,"Sir, if I may, why don't you just set up like a billion video cameras in the woods and see if he walks by one?"
Fry,"Sir, if I may, why don't you just set up like a billion video cameras in the woods and see if he walks by one?",Ranger,"Park: Ah, that would be very expensive, and most people who believe in Bigfoot are broke."
Ranger,"Park: Ah, that would be very expensive, and most people who believe in Bigfoot are broke.",Bender,"Hey, look! Bigfoot! He's back!"
Bender,"Hey, look! Bigfoot! He's back!",Ranger,Park: Where?
Ranger,Park: Where?,Bender,Everybody do the Bender!
Bender,Everybody do the Bender!,Amy,The sky out here is amazing. Look at all those satellites.
Amy,The sky out here is amazing. Look at all those satellites.,Farnsworth,"Goodnight, employees."
Farnsworth,"Goodnight, employees.",Hermes,Goodnight.
Hermes,Goodnight.,Zoidberg,"Goodnight, Hubert."
Zoidberg,"Goodnight, Hubert.",Fry,"You doin' alright out there, buddy?"
Fry,"You doin' alright out there, buddy?",Bender,That guy won't be goin' home to his kids.
Bender,That guy won't be goin' home to his kids.,Bender,"Fry! Fry wake up! It's me, Bigface!"
Bender,"Fry! Fry wake up! It's me, Bigface!",Bender,Come out and groom my mangy fur!
Bender,Come out and groom my mangy fur!,Fry,Huh? Bigfoot? You taught yourself English?
Fry,Huh? Bigfoot? You taught yourself English?,Fry,Bigfoot? Bigfoot?
Fry,Bigfoot? Bigfoot?,Fry,"Hey! Hey, what's the big idea? Stop abducting me. Why does your vanity plate say Probe 1?"
Fry,"Hey! Hey, what's the big idea? Stop abducting me. Why does your vanity plate say Probe 1?",Leela,"There's nothing so refreshing as the clean, crisp taste of this bold Canadian beer."
Leela,"There's nothing so refreshing as the clean, crisp taste of this bold Canadian beer.",Hermes,"Well, see you in an hour. I gotta go do some business behind that tree."
Hermes,"Well, see you in an hour. I gotta go do some business behind that tree.",Amy,"Bender, wasn't that Fry's tent?"
Amy,"Bender, wasn't that Fry's tent?",Bender,Bender!
Bender,Bender!,Leela,Bender raises a good point: Where is Fry?
Leela,Bender raises a good point: Where is Fry?,Fry,"I know, but listen, it gets even scarier."
Fry,"I know, but listen, it gets even scarier.",Farnsworth,Fry! What in Sega Genesis happened to you?
Farnsworth,Fry! What in Sega Genesis happened to you?,Fry,Why are you all staring at me like that? Is there something on my face?
Fry,Why are you all staring at me like that? Is there something on my face?,Hermes,Uh ... no.
Hermes,Uh ... no.,Leela,Someone should tell him.
Leela,Someone should tell him.,Fry,Tell me what?
Fry,Tell me what?,Leela,Nothing.
Leela,Nothing.,Zoidberg,"Fry, you have no nose! Your nose is gone! You have no nose on your face! Where it is I can't say but on your face it's not!"
Zoidberg,"Fry, you have no nose! Your nose is gone! You have no nose on your face! Where it is I can't say but on your face it's not!",Fry,What?
Fry,What?,Bender,"Aww! I think it's sweet. You chopped off your nose so you could look more like your hero. Me, Bender!"
Bender,"Aww! I think it's sweet. You chopped off your nose so you could look more like your hero. Me, Bender!",Fry,My God! They must have taken it last night.
Fry,My God! They must have taken it last night.,Farnsworth,Which last night?
Farnsworth,Which last night?,Fry,"In the woods. I was walking ... for Bigfoot, looking ... and then aliens beamed me up."
Fry,"In the woods. I was walking ... for Bigfoot, looking ... and then aliens beamed me up.",Amy,I don't get that gesture. Am I wrong?
Amy,I don't get that gesture. Am I wrong?,Zoidberg,"Cheer up, friend. When we get home a high-quality prosthesis will have you looking good as new."
Zoidberg,"Cheer up, friend. When we get home a high-quality prosthesis will have you looking good as new.",Fry,I'm a pathetic freak. My life is ruined.
Fry,I'm a pathetic freak. My life is ruined.,Hermes,"Man, you are such a jokester!"
Hermes,"Man, you are such a jokester!",Fry,I'll never have another moment of happiness.
Fry,I'll never have another moment of happiness.,Leela,"I know you're trying to mask your pain with humour, but don't worry. I'm sure the Professor can clone you a new nose."
Leela,"I know you're trying to mask your pain with humour, but don't worry. I'm sure the Professor can clone you a new nose.",Fry,nose. I don't want to have to teach a new one how to shoot milk when I laugh.
Fry,nose. I don't want to have to teach a new one how to shoot milk when I laugh.,Farnsworth,"Well there's no sense fretting. Good Lord, you're ugly! The fact is your nose is gone and we'll never find out who did it or why."
Farnsworth,"Well there's no sense fretting. Good Lord, you're ugly! The fact is your nose is gone and we'll never find out who did it or why.",Bender,Guys! Guys! There's something on television.
Bender,Guys! Guys! There's something on television.,Linda,"Alien abductions: Until now, a harmless nuisance. But recently they've taken on a sinister dimension as unsuspecting victims are returned ... without noses."
Linda,"Alien abductions: Until now, a harmless nuisance. But recently they've taken on a sinister dimension as unsuspecting victims are returned ... without noses.",Fry,Like me!
Fry,Like me!,Morbo,"The culprits: Shameless poachers, hunting humans without a permit."
Morbo,"The culprits: Shameless poachers, hunting humans without a permit.",Linda,"The valuable nose, or human horn, fetches a high price on alien worlds as an aphrodisiac."
Linda,"The valuable nose, or human horn, fetches a high price on alien worlds as an aphrodisiac.",Fry,I'm gonna drop a barf!
Fry,I'm gonna drop a barf!,Morbo,"Demand for human horn is great, due, in part, to titillating scenes from depraved alien TV programmes too filthy for Earth broadcast. Let's watch."
Morbo,"Demand for human horn is great, due, in part, to titillating scenes from depraved alien TV programmes too filthy for Earth broadcast. Let's watch.",Neptunian,Woman: Human horn? But ... it is forbidden!
Neptunian,Woman: Human horn? But ... it is forbidden!,Neptunian,Man: So is our love.
Neptunian,Man: So is our love.,Fry,Blech! We have to track down my nose before some alien snarfs it and does the worm. Who's in?
Fry,Blech! We have to track down my nose before some alien snarfs it and does the worm. Who's in?,Leela,Me and Bender and maybe Zoidberg if he feels like it.
Leela,Me and Bender and maybe Zoidberg if he feels like it.,Zoidberg,"No, I'm good."
Zoidberg,"No, I'm good.",Alien,"Let's see, I'll take a pancreas, two sphincters and a large Coke."
Alien,"Let's see, I'll take a pancreas, two sphincters and a large Coke.",Vendor,One number three combo!
Vendor,One number three combo!,Fry,"It's no use. We've been to every scuzzy bazaar in the galaxy, including Pottery Barn."
Fry,"It's no use. We've been to every scuzzy bazaar in the galaxy, including Pottery Barn.",Leela,Wait. What's that?
Leela,Wait. What's that?,Salesman,"Welcome, friends. How may I pervert you?"
Salesman,"Welcome, friends. How may I pervert you?",Fry,"Uh, I'm looking for human horn."
Fry,"Uh, I'm looking for human horn.",Salesman,"Shh! You're not cops, right?"
Salesman,"Shh! You're not cops, right?",Leela,"Of course not. In fact, he's a crook."
Leela,"Of course not. In fact, he's a crook.",Bender,Yep. Stolen Pez anyone?
Bender,Yep. Stolen Pez anyone?,Salesman,Right this way.
Salesman,Right this way.,Salesman,Human horn. So fresh you can still see the eyeglass marks.
Salesman,Human horn. So fresh you can still see the eyeglass marks.,Fry,Now look. This is the nose we want. Did you sell it to somebody?
Fry,Now look. This is the nose we want. Did you sell it to somebody?,Salesman,Right this way.
Salesman,Right this way.,Salesman,"Hey, I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Here's the weirdo who bought your horn."
Salesman,"Hey, I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Here's the weirdo who bought your horn.",Leela,That's Lrrr! Ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8.
Leela,That's Lrrr! Ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8.,Lrrr,human horn?
Lrrr,human horn?,Salesman,Speak up! You're muttering!
Salesman,Speak up! You're muttering!,Lrrr,human horn?
Lrrr,human horn?,Salesman,"You're not a cop, right?"
Salesman,"You're not a cop, right?",Lrrr,"Oh, no, no. I'm just some guy ... ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8!"
Lrrr,"Oh, no, no. I'm just some guy ... ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8!",Lrrr,"So let me get this straight: If I buy eight Caramello bars, you all get to go to some camp."
Lrrr,"So let me get this straight: If I buy eight Caramello bars, you all get to go to some camp.",Bender,Yep. That's exactly the lie we used to get past your guards.
Bender,Yep. That's exactly the lie we used to get past your guards.,Fry,"Oh, great space king, I humbly beg you to return my human horn."
Fry,"Oh, great space king, I humbly beg you to return my human horn.",Lrrr,"Uh, human horn? How ridiculous! Why would a virile male like Lrrr need human horn? I don't even know what it's for. What is it, something you-you put in salad dressing?"
Lrrr,"Uh, human horn? How ridiculous! Why would a virile male like Lrrr need human horn? I don't even know what it's for. What is it, something you-you put in salad dressing?",Nd-Nd,Like you've ever seen a salad.
Nd-Nd,Like you've ever seen a salad.,Lrrr,My weight is appropriate and attractive!
Lrrr,My weight is appropriate and attractive!,Leela,Whoa! You guys have issues.
Leela,Whoa! You guys have issues.,Lrrr,"has issues! I'm fine! But there's no human horn around here, so make friends with the door."
Lrrr,"has issues! I'm fine! But there's no human horn around here, so make friends with the door.",Fry,Alright. I give up. I guess I'll just go home and marry a skunk.
Fry,Alright. I give up. I guess I'll just go home and marry a skunk.,Nd-Nd,Here.
Nd-Nd,Here.,Fry,My nose! Light of my face!
Fry,My nose! Light of my face!,Lrrr,I've never seen it before. My friend left it here.
Lrrr,I've never seen it before. My friend left it here.,Leela,"Hold still, Fry. I can reattach it with my emergency face laser."
Leela,"Hold still, Fry. I can reattach it with my emergency face laser.",Fry,Hey! You burned my cheek!
Fry,Hey! You burned my cheek!,Leela,"Yeah, sorry, I wasn't really concentrating."
Leela,"Yeah, sorry, I wasn't really concentrating.",Fry,And those lilacs on the table.
Fry,And those lilacs on the table.,Lrrr,noticed.
Lrrr,noticed.,Nd-Nd,"For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your first wife was the one who liked lilacs."
Nd-Nd,"For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your first wife was the one who liked lilacs.",Lrrr,She also liked to shut up!
Lrrr,She also liked to shut up!,Fry,"Well, great seeing you. I guess we'll be on our--"
Fry,"Well, great seeing you. I guess we'll be on our--",Bender,"Yo, Highness. Uh, just out of robo-curiosity, why would you use a guy's nose for an aphrodisiac instead of his, you know, wing-dang-doodle?"
Bender,"Yo, Highness. Uh, just out of robo-curiosity, why would you use a guy's nose for an aphrodisiac instead of his, you know, wing-dang-doodle?",Lrrr,the human wing-dang-doodle.
Lrrr,the human wing-dang-doodle.,Bender,"No, sir, chief! The main event, so to speak, is downstairs near the wallet. Ever seen soccer players line up to block a free kick? They ain't covering their noses, I'll tell you that much. Well, see you!"
Bender,"No, sir, chief! The main event, so to speak, is downstairs near the wallet. Ever seen soccer players line up to block a free kick? They ain't covering their noses, I'll tell you that much. Well, see you!",Lrrr,Interesting. The trousers conceal a tiny secondary horn.
Lrrr,Interesting. The trousers conceal a tiny secondary horn.,Fry,"Hey, what've you heard?"
Fry,"Hey, what've you heard?",Lrrr,Prepare to harvest the lower horn!
Lrrr,Prepare to harvest the lower horn!,Fry,"OK, you can have my nose."
Fry,"OK, you can have my nose.",Lrrr,Guards!
Lrrr,Guards!,Guard,#1: Yeah?
Guard,#1: Yeah?,Lrrr,Remove the human's lower horn and prepare it to be eaten by me.
Lrrr,Remove the human's lower horn and prepare it to be eaten by me.,Nd-Nd,"In other words, slop a lot of ketchup and salt on it."
Nd-Nd,"In other words, slop a lot of ketchup and salt on it.",Lrrr,Then bring it to our royal bedchamber and put it in the sock drawer with all the other things that have failed to arouse my passion for this woman.
Lrrr,Then bring it to our royal bedchamber and put it in the sock drawer with all the other things that have failed to arouse my passion for this woman.,Guard,#2: Remove pants!
Guard,#2: Remove pants!,Fry,Wait! Listen. I'm usually the first guy to toot my own lower horn--
Fry,Wait! Listen. I'm usually the first guy to toot my own lower horn--,Bender,I'll say!
Bender,I'll say!,Fry,But in this case I-I just don't think it'll do any good.
Fry,But in this case I-I just don't think it'll do any good.,Bender,That's what she said!
Bender,That's what she said!,Leela,"Let's face it, you two have deep relationship problems that can't be solved by an aphrodisiac."
Leela,"Let's face it, you two have deep relationship problems that can't be solved by an aphrodisiac.",Fry,However huge it might be.
Fry,However huge it might be.,Nd-Nd,"suggest, painfully-single human?"
Nd-Nd,"suggest, painfully-single human?",Leela,"Well, why don't you think back to what brought you together in the first place?"
Leela,"Well, why don't you think back to what brought you together in the first place?",Nd-Nd,"Oh, I don't know. Lrrr used to be so tender."
Nd-Nd,"Oh, I don't know. Lrrr used to be so tender.",Lrrr,I only wrote that poem to test my printer.
Lrrr,I only wrote that poem to test my printer.,Nd-Nd,We'd go walking in the woods and Lrrr would find injured little tinkle-bunnies and nurse them back to health.
Nd-Nd,We'd go walking in the woods and Lrrr would find injured little tinkle-bunnies and nurse them back to health.,Lrrr,the one who injured them!
Lrrr,the one who injured them!,Nd-Nd,"Oh, shush. You stepped on them by accident and then you cried all night. That's the kind of sensitive man you used to be."
Nd-Nd,"Oh, shush. You stepped on them by accident and then you cried all night. That's the kind of sensitive man you used to be.",Lrrr,But not anymore! Now bring me that lower horn while I'm still in the mood.
Lrrr,But not anymore! Now bring me that lower horn while I'm still in the mood.,Fry,Wh-What if we helped you get your passion back without the hassle of mutilating me?
Fry,Wh-What if we helped you get your passion back without the hassle of mutilating me?,Leela,"Yeah, we know a great place in the mountains. We could take you there for a romantic dinner under the stars."
Leela,"Yeah, we know a great place in the mountains. We could take you there for a romantic dinner under the stars.",Nd-Nd,Hmm. Sounds interesting. But he would never do it.
Nd-Nd,Hmm. Sounds interesting. But he would never do it.,Lrrr,Like hell I wouldn't. I'm not gonna be blamed for not going.
Lrrr,Like hell I wouldn't. I'm not gonna be blamed for not going.,Fry,Then it's a deal. We get one night. I keep my horn as long as you two end up doing the horizontal monster mash.
Fry,Then it's a deal. We get one night. I keep my horn as long as you two end up doing the horizontal monster mash.,Bender,I don't get it!
Bender,I don't get it!,Bender.,May I offer you a box of wine for the edge of the table?
Bender.,May I offer you a box of wine for the edge of the table?,Lrrr,water!
Lrrr,water!,Nd-Nd,"Oh, big spender!"
Nd-Nd,"Oh, big spender!",Lrrr,That's it! This date is over. Waiter!
Lrrr,That's it! This date is over. Waiter!,Fry,"So, what can I get you this evening?"
Fry,"So, what can I get you this evening?",Lrrr,Your lower horn!
Lrrr,Your lower horn!,Fry,"I'll just start you off with some bread. Some sexy, arousing bread!"
Fry,"I'll just start you off with some bread. Some sexy, arousing bread!",Lrrr,Fine! But none of that whole-grain goat food. And bring plenty of melted butter.
Lrrr,Fine! But none of that whole-grain goat food. And bring plenty of melted butter.,Nd-Nd,Why don't you just inject some fat straight into your ass and cut out the middle man?
Nd-Nd,Why don't you just inject some fat straight into your ass and cut out the middle man?,Lrrr,"One of these days, Nd-Nd. Bang! Zoom! Straight to the third moon of Omicron Persei 8!"
Lrrr,"One of these days, Nd-Nd. Bang! Zoom! Straight to the third moon of Omicron Persei 8!",Lrrr,Mmm! This jerked chicken is good. I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked.
Lrrr,Mmm! This jerked chicken is good. I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked.,Bender,It's used to it!
Bender,It's used to it!,Fry,"So, uh, how are you two snooky-poopums doing?"
Fry,"So, uh, how are you two snooky-poopums doing?",Nd-Nd,Poorly.
Nd-Nd,Poorly.,Lrrr,"My wife is right, for once. There's very little magic in the air. Ready the lower horn transport vessel."
Lrrr,"My wife is right, for once. There's very little magic in the air. Ready the lower horn transport vessel.",Bender,"Hey, uh, mind if I stick these in here?"
Bender,"Hey, uh, mind if I stick these in here?",Guard,#1: Go for it.
Guard,#1: Go for it.,Will,always love you.
Will,always love you.,Nd-Nd,The humans are attacking!
Nd-Nd,The humans are attacking!,Lrrr,Pluck the lower horn and let's get out of here!
Lrrr,Pluck the lower horn and let's get out of here!,Bender,"Quick, Fry! Run for it!"
Bender,"Quick, Fry! Run for it!",Fry,"Yes! I never thought I'd escape with my doodle, but I pulled it out!"
Fry,"Yes! I never thought I'd escape with my doodle, but I pulled it out!",Bender,Just like at the movie theatre!
Bender,Just like at the movie theatre!,Lrrr,Give me that!
Lrrr,Give me that!,Fry,Bigfoot! He's real! I knew it! The Loch Ness Monster's book was right!
Fry,Bigfoot! He's real! I knew it! The Loch Ness Monster's book was right!,Lrrr,"Well, hello there, my furry friend."
Lrrr,"Well, hello there, my furry friend.",Nd-Nd,"Yes, you are a cutie-pie."
Nd-Nd,"Yes, you are a cutie-pie.",Ranger,"Park I can't believe I'm seeing Bigfoot! He's in focus! Oh, I've waited my entire life for this moment."
Ranger,"Park I can't believe I'm seeing Bigfoot! He's in focus! Oh, I've waited my entire life for this moment.",Nd-Nd,What?
Nd-Nd,What?,Bender,What are you doing with that?
Bender,What are you doing with that?,Lrrr,You're going to kill this innocent giganto?
Lrrr,You're going to kill this innocent giganto?,Ranger,Park: Of course not. I'm just gonna tranquilize him so I can chop off his feet as proof he exists. Then dump him back in the wild. He'll do fine.
Ranger,Park: Of course not. I'm just gonna tranquilize him so I can chop off his feet as proof he exists. Then dump him back in the wild. He'll do fine.,Lrrr,You'll have to get through me first.
Lrrr,You'll have to get through me first.,Ranger,Park: OK. Nighty night!
Ranger,Park: OK. Nighty night!,Lrrr,"Now leave this gentle Sasquatch, or Wood Ape, in peace so I can finally and at long last harvest this pathetic human's lower horn."
Lrrr,"Now leave this gentle Sasquatch, or Wood Ape, in peace so I can finally and at long last harvest this pathetic human's lower horn.",Fry,Yeah!
Fry,Yeah!,Lrrr,"Wait. What am I saying? If I poach this beast's lower horn, am I any better than that ranger with his demented foot lust? Yes. But not by enough."
Lrrr,"Wait. What am I saying? If I poach this beast's lower horn, am I any better than that ranger with his demented foot lust? Yes. But not by enough.",Ranger,Park: Score!
Ranger,Park: Score!,Lrrr,"This human's lower horn is one of God's creatures, a living thing, and all living things, large and small--"
Lrrr,"This human's lower horn is one of God's creatures, a living thing, and all living things, large and small--",Bender,In this case small!
Bender,In this case small!,Lrrr,Have dignity and a spark of the divine.
Lrrr,Have dignity and a spark of the divine.,Nd-Nd,"That's the gentle, sensitive, poet warlord I fell in love with."
Nd-Nd,"That's the gentle, sensitive, poet warlord I fell in love with.",Lrrr,"Uh, you'll wanna retreat to a safe, 500-metre radius!"
Lrrr,"Uh, you'll wanna retreat to a safe, 500-metre radius!",Leela,"Well, Fry, it looks like you get to hold onto your lower horn."
Leela,"Well, Fry, it looks like you get to hold onto your lower horn.",Bender,Run away!
Bender,Run away!,Scientist,I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals to make the most evil creature of them all.
Scientist,I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals to make the most evil creature of them all.,Man,It turns out it's Man.
Man,It turns out it's Man.,Bender,I choose to not understand these signs.
Bender,I choose to not understand these signs.,Bender,Aha!
Bender,Aha!,Fry,Bender? I was just not playing the holophonor.
Fry,Bender? I was just not playing the holophonor.,Bender,"Yeah, well you should try not stinking at it."
Bender,"Yeah, well you should try not stinking at it.",Fry,I am trying. I've been taking lessons.
Fry,I am trying. I've been taking lessons.,Bender,"Lessons? Oh, that's rich! Isn't it time you gave up all hope of ever improving yourself in any way?"
Bender,"Lessons? Oh, that's rich! Isn't it time you gave up all hope of ever improving yourself in any way?",Fry,"Hey, Bender, as long as you know, I have a holophonor recital Tuesday. I'd really like to have somebody there. Please?"
Fry,"Hey, Bender, as long as you know, I have a holophonor recital Tuesday. I'd really like to have somebody there. Please?",Bender,"Fine, I'll go already. Y'know, sometimes I wish your real parents were still alive. Not often, though."
Bender,"Fine, I'll go already. Y'know, sometimes I wish your real parents were still alive. Not often, though.",Bender,Whoa! Hey!
Bender,Whoa! Hey!,Fry,"Uh, hello, Mrs. Mellonger."
Fry,"Uh, hello, Mrs. Mellonger.",Mrs.,Mellonger And you must be Mr. Bender. Philip's told me so much about you. Is it true that you're a robot?
Mrs.,Mellonger And you must be Mr. Bender. Philip's told me so much about you. Is it true that you're a robot?,Bender,I prefer the term love machine.
Bender,I prefer the term love machine.,Bender,Wow! Your kid is great. How hard did you say you had to hit him?
Bender,Wow! Your kid is great. How hard did you say you had to hit him?,Mother,Fairly hard.
Mother,Fairly hard.,Fry,Sorry!
Fry,Sorry!,Boy,grumpy!
Boy,grumpy!,Fry,Ow! No! Quit it! Stop!
Fry,Ow! No! Quit it! Stop!,Mrs.,"Mellonger: Mr. Bender, I simply cannot teach your child."
Mrs.,"Mellonger: Mr. Bender, I simply cannot teach your child.",Bender,We hope to see you soon for tea.
Bender,We hope to see you soon for tea.,Fry,It's hopeless! I can hear all this great music in my head but my stupid hands can't keep up.
Fry,It's hopeless! I can hear all this great music in my head but my stupid hands can't keep up.,Bender,Aww. You know what always cheers me up? Laughing at other people's misfortunes.
Bender,Aww. You know what always cheers me up? Laughing at other people's misfortunes.,Leela,"Hey, guys. You missed a great delivery to Space Earth. Where you been all afternoon?"
Leela,"Hey, guys. You missed a great delivery to Space Earth. Where you been all afternoon?",Fry,"At, uh, uh, a concert."
Fry,"At, uh, uh, a concert.",Leela,Ooh! Was it jazz noodling? My ex-boyfriend Sean played the sax. I used to listen for hours while he sat naked on my couch and improvised.
Leela,Ooh! Was it jazz noodling? My ex-boyfriend Sean played the sax. I used to listen for hours while he sat naked on my couch and improvised.,Bender,"So musicians really Rodger your Hammerstein, huh?"
Bender,"So musicians really Rodger your Hammerstein, huh?",Leela,"Yeah, it's weird; Sean was uneducated, unambitious. He was pastey and hunched--"
Leela,"Yeah, it's weird; Sean was uneducated, unambitious. He was pastey and hunched--",Fry,Pretty boy.
Fry,Pretty boy.,Leela,I couldn't believe it. I was really...
Leela,I couldn't believe it. I was really...,Fry,beautiful soul sitting naked on her couch if I could just learn to play this stupid thing.
Fry,beautiful soul sitting naked on her couch if I could just learn to play this stupid thing.,Bender,"Oh, but you can. Though you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by devil I mean Robot Devil. And by metaphorically I mean get your coat."
Bender,"Oh, but you can. Though you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by devil I mean Robot Devil. And by metaphorically I mean get your coat.",Robot,"Devil Ah, Bender, Fry. You've come back for more eternal damnation."
Robot,"Devil Ah, Bender, Fry. You've come back for more eternal damnation.",Bender,"No, this isn't a religious visit. Fry just wants holophonor lessons."
Bender,"No, this isn't a religious visit. Fry just wants holophonor lessons.",Fry,Yep. I need to get really good without practising.
Fry,Yep. I need to get really good without practising.,Robot,Devil to replace them?
Robot,Devil to replace them?,Fry,"Oh, well. Goodbye."
Fry,"Oh, well. Goodbye.",Bender,"Fry, you smelly idiot, I think he's willing to make some kind of deal with the devil with you."
Bender,"Fry, you smelly idiot, I think he's willing to make some kind of deal with the devil with you.",Fry,"Great! Wait, what's the catch?"
Fry,"Great! Wait, what's the catch?",Robot,Devil It's just the sort of guy I am. What do you say?
Robot,Devil It's just the sort of guy I am. What do you say?,Fry,I don't know. It doesn't seem entirely moral to--
Fry,I don't know. It doesn't seem entirely moral to--,Bender,"Fry, if you don't take this offer right now I will lose all respect for you and punch you."
Bender,"Fry, if you don't take this offer right now I will lose all respect for you and punch you.",Fry,"Well, alright. You sure I probably won't know him?"
Fry,"Well, alright. You sure I probably won't know him?",Robot,Devil Just sign this contract.
Robot,Devil Just sign this contract.,Bender,Wow!
Bender,Wow!,Robot,Devil: And here we go!
Robot,Devil: And here we go!,Bender,I got a hundred bucks on Rectal-Exambot!
Bender,I got a hundred bucks on Rectal-Exambot!,Fry,hands? Zam!
Fry,hands? Zam!,Robot,"Devil: Oh, what an appallingly ironic outcome."
Robot,"Devil: Oh, what an appallingly ironic outcome.",Bender,"It's not ironic, it's just coincidental. Now fork over those lady-fingers, Cookie!"
Bender,"It's not ironic, it's just coincidental. Now fork over those lady-fingers, Cookie!",Robot,"Devil: Y'know, I only put my name on there as a show of good faith for the other robots."
Robot,"Devil: Y'know, I only put my name on there as a show of good faith for the other robots.",Fry,Stop being such a baby and chop my hands off.
Fry,Stop being such a baby and chop my hands off.,Robot,"Devil: Oh, very well."
Robot,"Devil: Oh, very well.",Fry,How'd you do that?
Fry,How'd you do that?,Robot,Devil good hands.
Robot,Devil good hands.,Fry,At last! At last I have the power to make Leela love me.
Fry,At last! At last I have the power to make Leela love me.,Robot,"Devil: Oh, sorry. That'll wear off in a couple of days."
Robot,"Devil: Oh, sorry. That'll wear off in a couple of days.",Fry,"Check it out, everyone. I'm back from hell and I've got the Robot Devil's hands."
Fry,"Check it out, everyone. I'm back from hell and I've got the Robot Devil's hands.",Amy,Neat! Let's see a trick.
Amy,Neat! Let's see a trick.,Fry,Alrighty!
Fry,Alrighty!,Scruffy,Somebody called the Robot Devil's here to see somebody called Fry.
Scruffy,Somebody called the Robot Devil's here to see somebody called Fry.,Fry,Uh-oh.
Fry,Uh-oh.,Bender,Where'd I go just now?
Bender,Where'd I go just now?,Robot,Devil.
Robot,Devil.,Fry,"Yeah, they get around! But I'm afraid we had a deal."
Fry,"Yeah, they get around! But I'm afraid we had a deal.",Robot,Devil: Looks like I wasted a bus trip.
Robot,Devil: Looks like I wasted a bus trip.,Fry,"Yes, you did."
Fry,"Yes, you did.",Grumpy,Snail That's over 30 minutes of music for only $14.99.
Grumpy,Snail That's over 30 minutes of music for only $14.99.,Zoidberg,"records! Oh, Zoidberg, at last you're becoming a crafty consumer!"
Zoidberg,"records! Oh, Zoidberg, at last you're becoming a crafty consumer!",Man,Hello?
Man,Hello?,Zoidberg,Hello? I'll take eight!
Zoidberg,Hello? I'll take eight!,Scruffy,Mr. Hedonismbot to see you.
Scruffy,Mr. Hedonismbot to see you.,Fry,"Uh, show him in."
Fry,"Uh, show him in.",Scruffy,"Very good, sir."
Scruffy,"Very good, sir.",Hedonismbot,"Ah, Fry. Congratulations. Your latest performance was as delectable as dipping my bottom over and over into a bath of the silkiest oils and creams."
Hedonismbot,"Ah, Fry. Congratulations. Your latest performance was as delectable as dipping my bottom over and over into a bath of the silkiest oils and creams.",Fry,"Thank you, sir. That's exactly what I was going for."
Fry,"Thank you, sir. That's exactly what I was going for.",Hedonismbot,You were the sole diversion in what has been a pale and unamusing season. And so I would fain commission you write an opera.
Hedonismbot,You were the sole diversion in what has been a pale and unamusing season. And so I would fain commission you write an opera.,Fry,But I've never written an opera.
Fry,But I've never written an opera.,Hedonismbot,"And I've never heard one. Still, if you can keep me amused through the overture I shall consider it a smashing success."
Hedonismbot,"And I've never heard one. Still, if you can keep me amused through the overture I shall consider it a smashing success.",Fry,I can make it about Leela.
Fry,I can make it about Leela.,Leela,Me? Really?
Leela,Me? Really?,Hedonismbot,I shall see you at the premiere.
Hedonismbot,I shall see you at the premiere.,Leela,Is it part of the opera?
Leela,Is it part of the opera?,Fry,You shouldn't be listening. I don't want you to hear it till it's done.
Fry,You shouldn't be listening. I don't want you to hear it till it's done.,Leela,But it's so beautiful.
Leela,But it's so beautiful.,Fry,So's a peacock but you don't eat it until it's cooked. This has to be perfect. I want you to hear exactly what I hear when I think about you.
Fry,So's a peacock but you don't eat it until it's cooked. This has to be perfect. I want you to hear exactly what I hear when I think about you.,Leela,They're so cold.
Leela,They're so cold.,Robot,Devil Can I have my hands back now?
Robot,Devil Can I have my hands back now?,Fry,No!
Fry,No!,Robot,Devil: You're not nice!
Robot,Devil: You're not nice!,Robot,Devil in the refrigerator.
Robot,Devil in the refrigerator.,Bender,"True, but at least I don't have the hiccups anymore. What up?"
Bender,"True, but at least I don't have the hiccups anymore. What up?",Robot,"Devil: Oh, well it so happens I'm in the mood to make a deal with you."
Robot,"Devil: Oh, well it so happens I'm in the mood to make a deal with you.",Bender,Forget it! You can't tempt me.
Bender,Forget it! You can't tempt me.,Robot,Devil you want?
Robot,Devil you want?,Bender,"Well, I suppose I've always wondered what it would be like to be more annoying."
Bender,"Well, I suppose I've always wondered what it would be like to be more annoying.",Robot,Devil To replace these bony hotdogs!
Robot,Devil To replace these bony hotdogs!,Bender,Grabby and Squeezy? Never! I love these guys!
Bender,Grabby and Squeezy? Never! I love these guys!,Robot,Devil: Well is there anything else you would part with?
Robot,Devil: Well is there anything else you would part with?,Bender,No. Nothing. Ain't gonna happen.
Bender,No. Nothing. Ain't gonna happen.,Bender,annoy people. And all it cost me was my crotch-plate.
Bender,annoy people. And all it cost me was my crotch-plate.,Robot,Devil Now find someone and give 'em a good blast!
Robot,Devil Now find someone and give 'em a good blast!,Bender,Yeah! That'll teach the first person I see a lesson.
Bender,Yeah! That'll teach the first person I see a lesson.,Robot,"Devil: Ah, my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete!"
Robot,"Devil: Ah, my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete!",Leela,"Well, Fry's opera premiere's tomorrow night. I'm off to find a pair of formal gloves that'll fit over my enormous forearms."
Leela,"Well, Fry's opera premiere's tomorrow night. I'm off to find a pair of formal gloves that'll fit over my enormous forearms.",Bender,"Pretty annoying, huh, Leela?"
Bender,"Pretty annoying, huh, Leela?",Leela,"What? Are you talking? Oh, God! I'm deaf!"
Leela,"What? Are you talking? Oh, God! I'm deaf!",Bender,"Oops. I'm so, so sorry, Leela. I just wanted to annoy you."
Bender,"Oops. I'm so, so sorry, Leela. I just wanted to annoy you.",Leela,"What? Oh, this is horrible. I won't be able to hear Fry's opera."
Leela,"What? Oh, this is horrible. I won't be able to hear Fry's opera.",Robot,"Devil: Ah, how delightfully ironic."
Robot,"Devil: Ah, how delightfully ironic.",Bender,"It's not ironic, it's just mean. Take this!"
Bender,"It's not ironic, it's just mean. Take this!",Robot,Devil ironic!
Robot,Devil ironic!,Bender,"Oh, nooo!"
Bender,"Oh, nooo!",Leela,"Nobody tell Fry I'm deaf. If he found out I couldn't hear his opera, it'd break his heart."
Leela,"Nobody tell Fry I'm deaf. If he found out I couldn't hear his opera, it'd break his heart.",Bender,"OK, deaf-o!"
Bender,"OK, deaf-o!",Hedonismbot,You know the ones I mean.
Hedonismbot,You know the ones I mean.,Leela,"Yay, Fry!"
Leela,"Yay, Fry!",Zoidberg,I watch TV with that guy!
Zoidberg,I watch TV with that guy!,With,courage in her female baby smile?
With,courage in her female baby smile?,Or,something stranger still.
Or,something stranger still.,Holo-Leela,"Or just a lonely, filthy, starving child."
Holo-Leela,"Or just a lonely, filthy, starving child.",Leela,Ah!
Leela,Ah!,Bender,what I would have done.
Bender,what I would have done.,Amy,"One diet double Martini, please."
Amy,"One diet double Martini, please.",Bartender,"And for you, sir?"
Bartender,"And for you, sir?",Hermes,I'll just have a Shirley Hemple.
Hermes,I'll just have a Shirley Hemple.,Tinny,Tim: Extra! Extra! World's greatest opera only half over.
Tinny,Tim: Extra! Extra! World's greatest opera only half over.,Leela,"Half over? Oh, I'd give anything to hear the rest."
Leela,"Half over? Oh, I'd give anything to hear the rest.",Robot,Devil robotic ears!
Robot,Devil robotic ears!,Leela,What? You can give me new ears? Wait. What seemingly reasonable thing do you want in return?
Leela,What? You can give me new ears? Wait. What seemingly reasonable thing do you want in return?,Robot,"Devil: Just your hands, my dear."
Robot,"Devil: Just your hands, my dear.",Leela,"Whatever you said, forget it!"
Leela,"Whatever you said, forget it!",Robot,"Devil: Alright then, just one hand."
Robot,"Devil: Alright then, just one hand.",Leela,"Just ... my left hand? Um, uh--"
Leela,"Just ... my left hand? Um, uh--",Announcer,Please take your seats for act two.
Announcer,Please take your seats for act two.,Hedonismbot,But I'm not done vomiting.
Hedonismbot,But I'm not done vomiting.,Leela,OK. You can have my hand.
Leela,OK. You can have my hand.,Robot,"Devil Calculon, old friend, I'm afraid I need your ears."
Robot,"Devil Calculon, old friend, I'm afraid I need your ears.",Calculon,acting talent.
Calculon,acting talent.,Leela,"I can hear! I can hear like a safecracker! Hey, aren't you gonna take my hand?"
Leela,"I can hear! I can hear like a safecracker! Hey, aren't you gonna take my hand?",Robot,Devil: In good time. You go enjoy the opera.
Robot,Devil: In good time. You go enjoy the opera.,I,need hands of transcendental quickness.
I,need hands of transcendental quickness.,Holo-Robot,Devil
Holo-Robot,Devil,For,my head is of a most amazing thickness.
For,my head is of a most amazing thickness.,Holo-Robot,Devil
Holo-Robot,Devil,I'm,stupider than you in every way.
I'm,stupider than you in every way.,Robot,Devil Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry.
Robot,Devil Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry.,Fry,"Look, what do you want?"
Fry,"Look, what do you want?",Robot,Devil: I want my hands back.
Robot,Devil: I want my hands back.,Even,with a dirty dealer.
Even,with a dirty dealer.,Robot,Devil
Robot,Devil,Then,I'll take what I want from Leela.
Then,I'll take what I want from Leela.,Leela,Whoa!
Leela,Whoa!,Robot,Devil: Leela has promised me her hand.
Robot,Devil: Leela has promised me her hand.,Leela,"Fry, you do not understand."
Leela,"Fry, you do not understand.",I,agreed that I'd give him my hand--
I,agreed that I'd give him my hand--,Robot,Devil: In marriage!
Robot,Devil: In marriage!,Leela,What?
Leela,What?,Robot,Devil: You'd give me your hand in marriage.
Robot,Devil: You'd give me your hand in marriage.,Hermes,Is this really happening or just being staged?
Hermes,Is this really happening or just being staged?,Farnsworth,It can't be real--
Farnsworth,It can't be real--,Amy,Not if Leela is engaged.
Amy,Not if Leela is engaged.,That,isn't what I signed.
That,isn't what I signed.,Robot,Devil Print.
Robot,Devil Print.,Leela,I'll give you my hand...
Leela,I'll give you my hand...,Leela,In marriage.
Leela,In marriage.,Bender,irony.
Bender,irony.,Robot,Devil
Robot,Devil,"Unless,","Fry, you surrender my hands!"
"Unless,","Fry, you surrender my hands!",Then,he probably won't want me dating her.
Then,he probably won't want me dating her.,Nixon,Arooo!
Nixon,Arooo!,Zapp,Bray-vo! Enn-core!
Zapp,Bray-vo! Enn-core!,Farnsworth,I can't believe the devil is so unforgiving.
Farnsworth,I can't believe the devil is so unforgiving.,Zoidberg,I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing!
Zoidberg,I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing!,By,the state of New New York--
By,the state of New New York--,(singing),"You evil, metal dork!"
(singing),"You evil, metal dork!",Hedonismbot,"Oh! Oh, my!"
Hedonismbot,"Oh! Oh, my!",Fry,And what did you do to my nails?
Fry,And what did you do to my nails?,Robot,"Devil So it's back to hell for me. Come on, Nixon!"
Robot,"Devil So it's back to hell for me. Come on, Nixon!",Nixon,Huh?
Nixon,Huh?,Hedonismbot,"Less reality, more fantasy. Resume the opera."
Hedonismbot,"Less reality, more fantasy. Resume the opera.",Fry,But I can't play anymore.
Fry,But I can't play anymore.,Zoidberg,The music's bad and you should feel bad.
Zoidberg,The music's bad and you should feel bad.,Fry,Whoa! Hey!
Fry,Whoa! Hey!,Tinny,Tim: Extra! Extra! Greatest opera of all time sucks.
Tinny,Tim: Extra! Extra! Greatest opera of all time sucks.,Zoidberg,I'll take eight!
Zoidberg,I'll take eight!,Leela,"Please don't stop playing, Fry. I wanna hear how it ends."
Leela,"Please don't stop playing, Fry. I wanna hear how it ends.",Hermes,Planet Express delivery company roll call! Captain Turanga Leela! 
Hermes,Planet Express delivery company roll call! Captain Turanga Leela! ,Leela,Here! 
Leela,Here! ,Hermes,"(VO): Delivery boy, first class, Philip J. Fry! "
Hermes,"(VO): Delivery boy, first class, Philip J. Fry! ",Fry,Here! 
Fry,Here! ,Hermes,"(VO): Assistant Manager of Sales, Bender Bending Rodriguez! "
Hermes,"(VO): Assistant Manager of Sales, Bender Bending Rodriguez! ",Bender,"Cerveza, por favor. "
Bender,"Cerveza, por favor. ",Hermes,"(VO): Long-term intern, Amy Wong. "
Hermes,"(VO): Long-term intern, Amy Wong. ",Amy,Here! 
Amy,Here! ,Hermes,"(VO): Company physician, Dr. John A. Zoidberg. "
Hermes,"(VO): Company physician, Dr. John A. Zoidberg. ",Zoidberg,Huh? I thought it was mine! 
Zoidberg,Huh? I thought it was mine! ,Hermes,"(VO): Bureaucrat Grade 34, Hermes Conrad "
Hermes,"(VO): Bureaucrat Grade 34, Hermes Conrad ",Hermes,"Is who I am. And now I am proud to present the owner and founder of Planet Express, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth! "
Hermes,"Is who I am. And now I am proud to present the owner and founder of Planet Express, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth! ",Farnsworth,You're all fired. 
Farnsworth,You're all fired. ,Hermes,Sweet bongo of the Congo! 
Hermes,Sweet bongo of the Congo! ,Farnsworth,"In fact, you were fired two years ago! That's when we were shut down by the delivery network. "
Farnsworth,"In fact, you were fired two years ago! That's when we were shut down by the delivery network. ",Farnsworth,"(VO): Yes, I'm afraid the brainless drones who run the network canceled our license. "
Farnsworth,"(VO): Yes, I'm afraid the brainless drones who run the network canceled our license. ",Fry,We were canceled? 
Fry,We were canceled? ,Farnsworth,"Oh, it's terrible. Just terrible. Well, clear out your desks and move along. Chop-chop. "
Farnsworth,"Oh, it's terrible. Just terrible. Well, clear out your desks and move along. Chop-chop. ",Farnsworth,Yes? I see. 
Farnsworth,Yes? I see. ,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who cancelled us were themselves fired for incompetence. "
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who cancelled us were themselves fired for incompetence. ",Staff,Woohoo! 
Staff,Woohoo! ,Farnsworth,"And not just fired, but beaten up, too. And pretty badly. "
Farnsworth,"And not just fired, but beaten up, too. And pretty badly. ",Staff,Woo! 
Staff,Woo! ,Farnsworth,"In fact, most of them died from their injuries. "
Farnsworth,"In fact, most of them died from their injuries. ",Farnsworth,And then they were ground up into a fine pink powder. 
Farnsworth,And then they were ground up into a fine pink powder. ,Fry,Why? 
Fry,Why? ,Farnsworth,"Oh, it's got a million and one uses. "
Farnsworth,"Oh, it's got a million and one uses. ",Farnsworth,"Ahhh, that soothes the fire. "
Farnsworth,"Ahhh, that soothes the fire. ",Leela,So what does this mean for us and our many fans? 
Leela,So what does this mean for us and our many fans? ,Farnsworth,It means we're back on the air! 
Farnsworth,It means we're back on the air! ,Farnsworth,"Yes, flying on the air in our mighty spaceship! "
Farnsworth,"Yes, flying on the air in our mighty spaceship! ",Staff,Woooohoooo! 
Staff,Woooohoooo! ,Bender,"We're back, baby! "
Bender,"We're back, baby! ",All,"Party! Go, go, go! "
All,"Party! Go, go, go! ",Cubert,"Lower, lawn mower! "
Cubert,"Lower, lawn mower! ",Hermes,"What's the matter, robot? You got a rod up your spine? "
Hermes,"What's the matter, robot? You got a rod up your spine? ",Bender,"Yes, I do. That's how I'm built. "
Bender,"Yes, I do. That's how I'm built. ",All,Hooray. 
All,Hooray. ,Fry,Way to bend it! 
Fry,Way to bend it! ,Bender,"You're the greatest, Bender! "
Bender,"You're the greatest, Bender! ",Hermes,"In Jamaica, we got 10-story office buildings lower than that. "
Hermes,"In Jamaica, we got 10-story office buildings lower than that. ",Leela,"Let's see you beat it, Rastaman. "
Leela,"Let's see you beat it, Rastaman. ",Staff,Ooooohh... 
Staff,Ooooohh... ,Hermes,Let's make it interesting. Fetch down one of them sabres. 
Hermes,Let's make it interesting. Fetch down one of them sabres. ,Bender,"Oh, flexible. That would go good up my spine. "
Bender,"Oh, flexible. That would go good up my spine. ",Hermes,Lower. 
Hermes,Lower. ,Bender,The fat guy wins! 
Bender,The fat guy wins! ,Fry,"Go, Hermes! "
Fry,"Go, Hermes! ",Hermes,That's why they call me 11-inch Conrad. 
Hermes,That's why they call me 11-inch Conrad. ,Scruffy,"Oh, no. "
Scruffy,"Oh, no. ",Fry,"Can you save Hermes, Dr. Goodensexy? "
Fry,"Can you save Hermes, Dr. Goodensexy? ",Dr.,"Cahill: I told you, my name is Dr. Cahill. "
Dr.,"Cahill: I told you, my name is Dr. Cahill. ",Hermes,Figures I'd get mangled while the blonde bimbo's on duty. 
Hermes,Figures I'd get mangled while the blonde bimbo's on duty. ,Dr.,"Cahill: I'm a doctor, sir. The mere fact that I'm blonde and have a breathy voice, full sensual lips, and a steaming hot body doesn't make me a bimbo. "
Dr.,"Cahill: I'm a doctor, sir. The mere fact that I'm blonde and have a breathy voice, full sensual lips, and a steaming hot body doesn't make me a bimbo. ",Zoidberg,Tell me about it. 
Zoidberg,Tell me about it. ,Hermes,"I think we've all learned a thing or two about sexual stereotypes. While my head's slowly dying 'cause I'm not in a jar yet, you bimbo! "
Hermes,"I think we've all learned a thing or two about sexual stereotypes. While my head's slowly dying 'cause I'm not in a jar yet, you bimbo! ",Dr.,"Cahill: Oh, right. Ditzy-witzy! Lars, got another jar job! "
Dr.,"Cahill: Oh, right. Ditzy-witzy! Lars, got another jar job! ",Lars,"Oh, sorry, Doctor. I was disinfecting Courtney Love... Oh, hello. "
Lars,"Oh, sorry, Doctor. I was disinfecting Courtney Love... Oh, hello. ",Leela,What are you looking at? Is it the eye? 
Leela,What are you looking at? Is it the eye? ,Lars,"Guilty as charged. It's a nice looking eye, and there's plenty of it. "
Lars,"Guilty as charged. It's a nice looking eye, and there's plenty of it. ",Leela,Oh. Do I know you? 
Leela,Oh. Do I know you? ,Lars,Apparently not. Hi. I'm Lars. 
Lars,Apparently not. Hi. I'm Lars. ,Leela,Oh. I'm Leela. Nice to meet you. 
Leela,Oh. I'm Leela. Nice to meet you. ,Lars,Nice to be met. 
Lars,Nice to be met. ,Hermes,"Pick up ladies on your own time, you shiny-headed goat! "
Hermes,"Pick up ladies on your own time, you shiny-headed goat! ",Lars,"Sir, you're just a little enraged 'cause you're dying. Up and away! "
Lars,"Sir, you're just a little enraged 'cause you're dying. Up and away! ",Amy,Lars is so flirting with you. 
Amy,Lars is so flirting with you. ,Leela,He is so not. He's just being polite. 
Leela,He is so not. He's just being polite. ,Fry,"Who does he think he is, being polite to you? You want me to beat him up? "
Fry,"Who does he think he is, being polite to you? You want me to beat him up? ",Leela,No. Stop being so immature. 
Leela,No. Stop being so immature. ,Fry,I'll show her who's immature. 
Fry,I'll show her who's immature. ,Fry,Charles de Gaulle? Never heard of you. 
Fry,Charles de Gaulle? Never heard of you. ,De,Gaulle: I freed France from the Nazis and... 
De,Gaulle: I freed France from the Nazis and... ,Fry,"Hey, Leela. I'm some French guy. "
Fry,"Hey, Leela. I'm some French guy. ",Bender,"Rock that Frenchman, baby! "
Bender,"Rock that Frenchman, baby! ",LaBarbara,"Oh, my poor little love pirate of the Caribbean! "
LaBarbara,"Oh, my poor little love pirate of the Caribbean! ",Hermes,"There, there, wife. Everything will be all-- "
Hermes,"There, there, wife. Everything will be all-- ",LaBarbara,"Okay, look, Hermes, we got to think of the boy. He needs a daddy. "
LaBarbara,"Okay, look, Hermes, we got to think of the boy. He needs a daddy. ",Hermes,He has a daddy! 
Hermes,He has a daddy! ,LaBarbara,"No, he got two half-daddies. Will his body be all right? "
LaBarbara,"No, he got two half-daddies. Will his body be all right? ",Dr.,"Cahill: Yes, but it may take a few days. "
Dr.,"Cahill: Yes, but it may take a few days. ",LaBarbara,"No, not soon enough. Come, Dwight, let's find you a handsome new father. "
LaBarbara,"No, not soon enough. Come, Dwight, let's find you a handsome new father. ",Hermes,"LaBarbara, no! "
Hermes,"LaBarbara, no! ",Bender,"It's okay, Hermes. We're all here for you. "
Bender,"It's okay, Hermes. We're all here for you. ",Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! We've got a delivery to the nude beach planet. "
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! We've got a delivery to the nude beach planet. ",Staff,Woohoo! 
Staff,Woohoo! ,Bender,"So long, jerk."
Bender,"So long, jerk.",Announcer,Only Torgo's packs the power of five highly paid television executives into every can for maxim odour absorption.
Announcer,Only Torgo's packs the power of five highly paid television executives into every can for maxim odour absorption.,Torgo's,Jingle Singer
Torgo's,Jingle Singer,with,Torgo's!
with,Torgo's!,Leela,It feels great to be back at the wheel after two long years. 
Leela,It feels great to be back at the wheel after two long years. ,Fry,That's not the wheel. 
Fry,That's not the wheel. ,Leela,It's nice out. 
Leela,It's nice out. ,Fry,You must be at least this naked? How much nakeder could you be? 
Fry,You must be at least this naked? How much nakeder could you be? ,Zoidberg,Watch and learn. 
Zoidberg,Watch and learn. ,Bender,"You know, it's funny. "
Bender,"You know, it's funny. ",Fry,What? 
Fry,What? ,Bender,Your weiner! 
Bender,Your weiner! ,Farnsworth,"Well, I'm going in the water to prune up a bit before I strut. Who's with me? "
Farnsworth,"Well, I'm going in the water to prune up a bit before I strut. Who's with me? ",Amy,I'm in! 
Amy,I'm in! ,Leela,I'm in. 
Leela,I'm in. ,Bender,"Yeah, I'll go. "
Bender,"Yeah, I'll go. ",Fry,You guys go ahead. I gotta find the bartender and deliver this box of barstool softener.
Fry,You guys go ahead. I gotta find the bartender and deliver this box of barstool softener.,Fry,"Here's your package, sir. "
Fry,"Here's your package, sir. ",Bartender,Why are you talking to my penis? 
Bartender,Why are you talking to my penis? ,Fry,"Oh, sorry. Sign here. "
Fry,"Oh, sorry. Sign here. ",Bartender,Mind if I use your pen? 
Bartender,Mind if I use your pen? ,Fry,"Well, that's not a... "
Fry,"Well, that's not a... ",Fry,Thank you for using Planet Express. 
Fry,Thank you for using Planet Express. ,Leela,"Hey, Fry, I didn't know you had a tattoo of Bender on your ass. "
Leela,"Hey, Fry, I didn't know you had a tattoo of Bender on your ass. ",Fry,Me neither. 
Fry,Me neither. ,Bender,You got a tattoo of me? Neat. It's like looking in a smelly mirror. 
Bender,You got a tattoo of me? Neat. It's like looking in a smelly mirror. ,Farnsworth,So he's got a little ink. Big whoop. 
Farnsworth,So he's got a little ink. Big whoop. ,Bender,"Sweet photons. I don't know if you're waves or particles, but you go down smooth. "
Bender,"Sweet photons. I don't know if you're waves or particles, but you go down smooth. ",Nudar,"Sir, would you care to sign our petition? "
Nudar,"Sir, would you care to sign our petition? ",Bender,"I support and oppose many things, but not strongly enough to pick up a pen. "
Bender,"I support and oppose many things, but not strongly enough to pick up a pen. ",Nudar,That's just what the guys who oppose the things you support want you to do. 
Nudar,That's just what the guys who oppose the things you support want you to do. ,Bender,Really? Down with those guys! 
Bender,Really? Down with those guys! ,Fleb,And we'll need your e-mail address. 
Fleb,And we'll need your e-mail address. ,Bender,"Hmm, they say you shouldn't give out your e-mail address. "
Bender,"Hmm, they say you shouldn't give out your e-mail address. ",Nudar,Right. That's just what those same guys say. 
Nudar,Right. That's just what those same guys say. ,Bender,Them again? 
Bender,Them again? ,Leela,I don't quite understand what this petition's about. 
Leela,I don't quite understand what this petition's about. ,Schlump,Animals? 
Schlump,Animals? ,Schlump,And your e-mail address. 
Schlump,And your e-mail address. ,Leela,"You won't send me any spam, will you? "
Leela,"You won't send me any spam, will you? ",Nudar,"Oh, no, no, no, no. Asterisk. "
Nudar,"Oh, no, no, no, no. Asterisk. ",Leela's,Wrist Thingy: You've got spam. 
Leela's,Wrist Thingy: You've got spam. ,Leela,"Spam, spam, junk."
Leela,"Spam, spam, junk.",Amy,"Spam. Spam. Hi. How are you? Oh, that must be from Kiffy. "
Amy,"Spam. Spam. Hi. How are you? Oh, that must be from Kiffy. ",Amy's,"computer: Hi, how are you? Low, low prices on erectile dysfunction remedies, sleeping pills, old-person drugs, and antidepressants. "
Amy's,"computer: Hi, how are you? Low, low prices on erectile dysfunction remedies, sleeping pills, old-person drugs, and antidepressants. ",Amy,"Antidepressants? Well, I certainly don't want to get depressed. "
Amy,"Antidepressants? Well, I certainly don't want to get depressed. ",Amy's,computer: Please enter credit card number. 
Amy's,computer: Please enter credit card number. ,Amy,Is cash okay? 
Amy,Is cash okay? ,Bender,Porn. Porn. Free porn. Get rich watching porn? I find that rather hard to believe. 
Bender,Porn. Porn. Free porn. Get rich watching porn? I find that rather hard to believe. ,Bender,"Warning, perform virus scan? I'm waiting for porn over here. "
Bender,"Warning, perform virus scan? I'm waiting for porn over here. ",Bender,"Oh, yeah, come on, baby. "
Bender,"Oh, yeah, come on, baby. ",Zoidberg,"Friends, friends! His Majesty Prince Adisaraki O. Zoidberg of Nigeria died. "
Zoidberg,"Friends, friends! His Majesty Prince Adisaraki O. Zoidberg of Nigeria died. ",Amy,When will those antidepressants get here? 
Amy,When will those antidepressants get here? ,Zoidberg,"Wait, there's more. Once I wire some good-faith money to an overseas bank account, I'll inherit his kingdom, his canoe, and his plump young wife. "
Zoidberg,"Wait, there's more. Once I wire some good-faith money to an overseas bank account, I'll inherit his kingdom, his canoe, and his plump young wife. ",Hermes,You dumb stumps. Don't you realize you're being scammed? 
Hermes,You dumb stumps. Don't you realize you're being scammed? ,Zoidberg,"That is low, Hermes. Just because you don't have a body, you don't want anyone else to be prince of Nigeria. Well, try and stop me from wiring that money. "
Zoidberg,"That is low, Hermes. Just because you don't have a body, you don't want anyone else to be prince of Nigeria. Well, try and stop me from wiring that money. ",Farnsworth,I am here!
Farnsworth,"Now, it's not hard to spot a phoney Internet come-on. Get rich quick x7 q? Phoney. Lose weight with space parasites? Phoney. What's this? I've won the Spanish National Lottery? ",Leela,"No, it's a scam! "
Leela,"No, it's a scam! ",Farnsworth,"My goodness, I'm rich! And to think I didn't even know I had a ticket. I just need to wire some collateral to collect the winnings. "
Farnsworth,"My goodness, I'm rich! And to think I didn't even know I had a ticket. I just need to wire some collateral to collect the winnings. ",Hermes,"Professor, stop! You're giving away personal information! "
Hermes,"Professor, stop! You're giving away personal information! ",Farnsworth,I can afford to give away anything I want. I've won the Spanish National Lottery. 
Farnsworth,I can afford to give away anything I want. I've won the Spanish National Lottery. ,Amy,"No, don't! "
Amy,"No, don't! ",Leela,It's a scam! 
Leela,It's a scam! ,Hermes,Why won't anybody listen to me?!? 
Hermes,Why won't anybody listen to me?!? ,Farnsworth,And my mother's maiden name and her bank account numbers and ... There! I'm rich. Rich. Rich! 
Farnsworth,And my mother's maiden name and her bank account numbers and ... There! I'm rich. Rich. Rich! ,Farnsworth,"That must be my $400 now. Hello. Or should I say, 'Buenos dias? "
Farnsworth,"That must be my $400 now. Hello. Or should I say, 'Buenos dias? ",Nudar,Hi. We own your company now. 
Nudar,Hi. We own your company now. ,Farnsworth,Hwhaa? 
Farnsworth,Hwhaa? ,Bender,"Welcome, boss. "
Bender,"Welcome, boss. ",Nudar,Guess I was wrong. There was a robot stupid enough to download the obedience virus. 
Nudar,Guess I was wrong. There was a robot stupid enough to download the obedience virus. ,Bender,Presenting our new masters! 
Bender,Presenting our new masters! ,Bender,"[carrying a stack of crates bigger than he is]: Where shall I put these auto-dialers, kind master? "
Bender,"[carrying a stack of crates bigger than he is]: Where shall I put these auto-dialers, kind master? ",Nudar,Between the password crank and the spamjaculator. Come on! We've got a whole planet to scam. And bring me some more Gummi Fungus! 
Nudar,Between the password crank and the spamjaculator. Come on! We've got a whole planet to scam. And bring me some more Gummi Fungus! ,Leela,We don't have to stand here and take abuse from a gross nerd. 
Leela,We don't have to stand here and take abuse from a gross nerd. ,Amy,Yeah! 
Amy,Yeah! ,Fry,Yeah! 
Fry,Yeah! ,Leela,Hi-yah! 
Leela,Hi-yah! ,Nudar,"Now get back to work, you turkeys. Planet Express is still in business. We've got crap loads of quote-unquote merchandise to deliver. "
Nudar,"Now get back to work, you turkeys. Planet Express is still in business. We've got crap loads of quote-unquote merchandise to deliver. ",Fleb,"Ship them out, Your Highness. "
Fleb,"Ship them out, Your Highness. ",Zoidberg,"Finally, some respect. "
Zoidberg,"Finally, some respect. ",Amy,I feel a little better. 
Amy,I feel a little better. ,Bender,"Those marvellous scammers sure scammed us, huh? "
Bender,"Those marvellous scammers sure scammed us, huh? ",Leela,How can you just sit there kissing the aliens' butt flaps? Don't you realize you are totally under their control? 
Leela,How can you just sit there kissing the aliens' butt flaps? Don't you realize you are totally under their control? ,Bender,"Of course I realize it. Does that mean I can't enjoy it? Boy, were we suckers. "
Bender,"Of course I realize it. Does that mean I can't enjoy it? Boy, were we suckers. ",Lars,"Greetings, earthlings. "
Lars,"Greetings, earthlings. ",Fry,"Oh, hooray. It's handsome Lars and his fabulous jars. "
Fry,"Oh, hooray. It's handsome Lars and his fabulous jars. ",Lars,"Hello, everyone who isn't Leela. And a special hello to everyone else. "
Lars,"Hello, everyone who isn't Leela. And a special hello to everyone else. ",Hermes,Shut your lockers and get to class. How's my body doing? 
Hermes,Shut your lockers and get to class. How's my body doing? ,Lars,"Oh, I'm afraid it's behind schedule. The museum got tricked into giving all its funding to something called the Scamming Sciences Institute. "
Lars,"Oh, I'm afraid it's behind schedule. The museum got tricked into giving all its funding to something called the Scamming Sciences Institute. ",Bender,It's a fake place. 
Bender,It's a fake place. ,Hermes,No! That body's the cornerstone of my marriage. What's LaBarbara going to do? 
Hermes,No! That body's the cornerstone of my marriage. What's LaBarbara going to do? ,Amy,Spluh! She's going to go back to her first husband. 
Amy,Spluh! She's going to go back to her first husband. ,Zoidberg,Barbados Slim? I love that guy. 
Zoidberg,Barbados Slim? I love that guy. ,Hermes,Everybody loves Slim. 
Hermes,Everybody loves Slim. ,Hermes,He's the only man to ever win Olympic gold medals in both limbo and sex. 
Hermes,He's the only man to ever win Olympic gold medals in both limbo and sex. ,Lars,"Well, maybe I should get going. "
Lars,"Well, maybe I should get going. ",Fry,"Yes, I'll show you out. "
Fry,"Yes, I'll show you out. ",Amy,"No, Leela will show him out. "
Amy,"No, Leela will show him out. ",Leela,"No, Leela will show you out. Me. Leela. "
Leela,"No, Leela will show you out. Me. Leela. ",Lars,"So your friend, Fry, seems nice. Are you and he dati--? "
Lars,"So your friend, Fry, seems nice. Are you and he dati--? ",Leela,Nope. 
Leela,Nope. ,Lars,"Good, because I was maybe thinking of asking you out for dinner. "
Lars,"Good, because I was maybe thinking of asking you out for dinner. ",Leela,"Ohhhh. I'll start maybe thinking about saying Sure, when? "
Leela,"Ohhhh. I'll start maybe thinking about saying Sure, when? ",Lars,Let me maybe give it some thought. 
Lars,Let me maybe give it some thought. ,Lars,Tomorrow at 8:00? 
Lars,Tomorrow at 8:00? ,Leela,Okay. 
Leela,Okay. ,Fry,It's not fair. I've loved Leela since the day I came to the future. Did I show you the macaroni valentine I made for her? 
Fry,It's not fair. I've loved Leela since the day I came to the future. Did I show you the macaroni valentine I made for her? ,Amy,Yes. 
Amy,Yes. ,Fry,"Look at it again. I know she thinks I'm immature, but someday I won't be. And deep down in my heart, I know we'll end up together. It's all there in the macaroni. "
Fry,"Look at it again. I know she thinks I'm immature, but someday I won't be. And deep down in my heart, I know we'll end up together. It's all there in the macaroni. ",Leela,Lars asked me out! 
Leela,Lars asked me out! ,Bender,"What are you doing, wonderful masters? "
Bender,"What are you doing, wonderful masters? ",Fleb,Sprunjing for information. 
Fleb,Sprunjing for information. ,Nudar,"Oh! There's something here. I can sprunje it. Robot, tear it open! "
Nudar,"Oh! There's something here. I can sprunje it. Robot, tear it open! ",Bender,"Goody, goody, goody, goody! "
Bender,"Goody, goody, goody, goody! ",Zoidberg,What's that thing on your neck? 
Zoidberg,What's that thing on your neck? ,Nudar,"Checking out my sprunjer, huh? "
Nudar,"Checking out my sprunjer, huh? ",Zoidberg,I guess. What does it do? 
Zoidberg,I guess. What does it do? ,Nudar,Information. 
Nudar,Information. ,Zoidberg,Lucky you. All I have is a gland that gives off foul odors when I'm bored. 
Zoidberg,Lucky you. All I have is a gland that gives off foul odors when I'm bored. ,Bender,"Hey, look, a safe! "
Bender,"Hey, look, a safe! ",Farnsworth,That's my safe. I call keep-offsies. 
Farnsworth,That's my safe. I call keep-offsies. ,Nudar,No callsies! Open it! 
Nudar,No callsies! Open it! ,Fleb,"It's a gold mine. Tax forms, Social Security cards. Combination hair, blood and stool samples! "
Fleb,"It's a gold mine. Tax forms, Social Security cards. Combination hair, blood and stool samples! ",Fry,I don't get it. How can you say Lars is more mature than me? 
Fry,I don't get it. How can you say Lars is more mature than me? ,Leela,"Well, for one thing, his chequebook doesn't have the Hulk on it. "
Leela,"Well, for one thing, his chequebook doesn't have the Hulk on it. ",Nudar,Who are you? 
Nudar,Who are you? ,Fry,Philip J. Fry. 
Fry,Philip J. Fry. ,Fleb,"Social Security Number 03280810? Stool type, P-negative? "
Fleb,"Social Security Number 03280810? Stool type, P-negative? ",Fry,That's right. 
Fry,That's right. ,Nudar,I've never detected so much information before. I think it may be a Level 87 code. 
Nudar,I've never detected so much information before. I think it may be a Level 87 code. ,Schumlp,"Level 87? Can it be? I thought it was only a legend, but the sprunjer never lies. "
Schumlp,"Level 87? Can it be? I thought it was only a legend, but the sprunjer never lies. ",Nudar,It's in his pants! 
Nudar,It's in his pants! ,Fry,What the hell are you talking about? 
Fry,What the hell are you talking about? ,Nudar,"[holding a laser to Farnsworth's head]: Faster, faster! "
Nudar,"[holding a laser to Farnsworth's head]: Faster, faster! ",Farnsworth,I'm sciencing as fast as I can. 
Farnsworth,I'm sciencing as fast as I can. ,Bender,"What do you say, folks? Hot or not? "
Bender,"What do you say, folks? Hot or not? ",Nudar,"You, boogerbot, read the code or I'll shoot this guy. "
Nudar,"You, boogerbot, read the code or I'll shoot this guy. ",Bender,Who the hell is he? 
Bender,Who the hell is he? ,Scruffy,"I'm Scruffy, the janitor. "
Scruffy,"I'm Scruffy, the janitor. ",Bender,"Hang on, Scruffy! Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, one, one, one, one, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one. "
Bender,"Hang on, Scruffy! Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, one, one, one, one, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one. ",Fleb,A time sphere. 
Fleb,A time sphere. ,Nudar,"Naked brothers, we have sprunjed upon the universal machine language time code. The key to time travel! "
Nudar,"Naked brothers, we have sprunjed upon the universal machine language time code. The key to time travel! ",Leela,What's the secret of time travel doing on Fry's ass? 
Leela,What's the secret of time travel doing on Fry's ass? ,Fry,It was bound to be somewhere. 
Fry,It was bound to be somewhere. ,Schlump,Beyond this shimmering portal lie all the glories of history. 
Schlump,Beyond this shimmering portal lie all the glories of history. ,Nudar,And we can steal them! We just go to the past and take stuff with our superior weapons!
Nudar,And we can steal them! We just go to the past and take stuff with our superior weapons!,Nibbler,"Stop, you fools! "
Nibbler,"Stop, you fools! ",Amy,What's going on? 
Amy,What's going on? ,Farnsworth,What is happening? 
Farnsworth,What is happening? ,Leela,"Nibbler, you... You can talk? "
Leela,"Nibbler, you... You can talk? ",Nibbler,"I can do more than talk. I can pontificate. You must not use the code of codes. With each and every use, you risk tearing the universe asunder. "
Nibbler,"I can do more than talk. I can pontificate. You must not use the code of codes. With each and every use, you risk tearing the universe asunder. ",Schlump,The poodle-monkey may be right. The legend warns that the code is powerful and dangerous. 
Schlump,The poodle-monkey may be right. The legend warns that the code is powerful and dangerous. ,Nudar,"My God. We'd better use it only three or four times. Six, max. "
Nudar,"My God. We'd better use it only three or four times. Six, max. ",Nibbler,But even a single use could shatter the universe! 
Nibbler,But even a single use could shatter the universe! ,Nudar,Got it. Two or three times. 
Nudar,Got it. Two or three times. ,Nibbler,"I see I have no choice. Nibblonians, attack! "
Nibbler,"I see I have no choice. Nibblonians, attack! ",Nudar,And the pitch! 
Nudar,And the pitch! ,Nibblonian,"Mayday, mayday! "
Nibblonian,"Mayday, mayday! ",Aliens,Hey! Hey! Hey! 
Aliens,Hey! Hey! Hey! ,Nibblonian,Scamper! 
Nibblonian,Scamper! ,Zoidberg,Aawww... 
Zoidberg,Aawww... ,Nibbler,"Alas, our kitten-class attack ships were no match for their mighty chairs. The universe is doomed. Doomed! "
Nibbler,"Alas, our kitten-class attack ships were no match for their mighty chairs. The universe is doomed. Doomed! ",Fry,Can I pull up my pants now? 
Fry,Can I pull up my pants now? ,Nibbler,Dooooooomed!
Nibbler,Dooooooomed!,Nudar,Stand back you wing wangs. I'm gonna try out this timesphere with a quick test drive to yesterday. 
Nudar,Stand back you wing wangs. I'm gonna try out this timesphere with a quick test drive to yesterday. ,Farnsworth,Bushwah. You can't go mucking about in the past without creating paradoxes. 
Farnsworth,Bushwah. You can't go mucking about in the past without creating paradoxes. ,Nibbler,"I'm afraid he can. It's a paradox correcting time code. It all works perfectly. Except when it rips open the universe. Don't do it, I beg you ... "
Nibbler,"I'm afraid he can. It's a paradox correcting time code. It all works perfectly. Except when it rips open the universe. Don't do it, I beg you ... ",Nudar,"Yesterday please, and make it snappy. "
Nudar,"Yesterday please, and make it snappy. ",Crew,wha??? 
Crew,wha??? ,Nudar,Hello. 
Nudar,Hello. ,Nudar-2,Howdy. 
Nudar-2,Howdy. ,Bender,Hey! What the ...? 
Bender,Hey! What the ...? ,Zoidberg,"There was one, but now there's two. "
Zoidberg,"There was one, but now there's two. ",Nudar,"Nothing gets past you eagle eye. I went back to last night and met the me of that time for a drink. One thing led to another and we ended up at my place, or should I say our place. "
Nudar,"Nothing gets past you eagle eye. I went back to last night and met the me of that time for a drink. One thing led to another and we ended up at my place, or should I say our place. ",Leela,Blech. 
Leela,Blech. ,Nudar,Oh come on ya bunch of prudes. 
Nudar,Oh come on ya bunch of prudes. ,Farnsworth,"This isn't merely revolting, it's impossible to boot. I know a paradox when I see one. "
Farnsworth,"This isn't merely revolting, it's impossible to boot. I know a paradox when I see one. ",Farnsworth,Whaaa? 
Farnsworth,Whaaa? ,Farnsworth,"Ahh, paradox resolved. Someone get a mop. "
Farnsworth,"Ahh, paradox resolved. Someone get a mop. ",Dwight,You're looking well pops. 
Dwight,You're looking well pops. ,Hermes,"How can you look me in the eye 'n eye and say that? I'm nothin' but a brain. A useless, filthy brain. "
Hermes,"How can you look me in the eye 'n eye and say that? I'm nothin' but a brain. A useless, filthy brain. ",Barbados,Slim: You forgot lice infested. 
Barbados,Slim: You forgot lice infested. ,Hermes,"I didn't forget it, I just chose not to .... Barbados Slim! What are you doin' here? IS there somethin' goin' on between you two? "
Hermes,"I didn't forget it, I just chose not to .... Barbados Slim! What are you doin' here? IS there somethin' goin' on between you two? ",LaBarbara,"Oh no no no no, we jus' ah happened to run into each other shortly after your accident. "
LaBarbara,"Oh no no no no, we jus' ah happened to run into each other shortly after your accident. ",Slim,And every night since then. 
Slim,And every night since then. ,LaBarbara,You're so crazy. 
LaBarbara,You're so crazy. ,Hermes,"Woman! No! Ohh, who am I kiddin'? Without my body, I'm a nobody. "
Hermes,"Woman! No! Ohh, who am I kiddin'? Without my body, I'm a nobody. ",LaBarbara,I'm sorry Hermes. But look at Barbados. You can't argue with those luscious pecks. 
LaBarbara,I'm sorry Hermes. But look at Barbados. You can't argue with those luscious pecks. ,Hermes,No I can't. But I can ask him to stop wiggling them in my face. 
Hermes,No I can't. But I can ask him to stop wiggling them in my face. ,Slim,I'm not wiggling them. They do that by themselves. 
Slim,I'm not wiggling them. They do that by themselves. ,Nudar,I think I'll go back in time and steal the Liberty Bell before it cracked. Or is the crack the valuable part? 
Nudar,I think I'll go back in time and steal the Liberty Bell before it cracked. Or is the crack the valuable part? ,Farnsworth,I don't know you naked crook. 
Farnsworth,I don't know you naked crook. ,Fleb,"We have a problem Nudar. It's a one way time code. It can take us to the past, but it can't bring us back to the present. "
Fleb,"We have a problem Nudar. It's a one way time code. It can take us to the past, but it can't bring us back to the present. ",Bender,"Oh oh oh oh oh oh! Masters, if I might, let me do the stealing. I'll go to the past and snatch everything I can get my greasy mitts on. Then, as a robot, I could just wait it out for a few centuries in the limestone cavern beneath this building. Oh, it'll be ever so much fun. "
Bender,"Oh oh oh oh oh oh! Masters, if I might, let me do the stealing. I'll go to the past and snatch everything I can get my greasy mitts on. Then, as a robot, I could just wait it out for a few centuries in the limestone cavern beneath this building. Oh, it'll be ever so much fun. ",Nudar,"Hey, that's perfect. We sit back and let dum dum here do the stealing. "
Nudar,"Hey, that's perfect. We sit back and let dum dum here do the stealing. ",Bender,Dum dum away. Zero zero one one .... 
Bender,Dum dum away. Zero zero one one .... ,Leela,The Mona Lisa! 
Leela,The Mona Lisa! ,Bender,"Sorry, it's not quite finished. "
Bender,"Sorry, it's not quite finished. ",Schlump,Da Vinci give you any trouble? 
Schlump,Da Vinci give you any trouble? ,Bender.,Hahahahahaha. 
Bender.,Hahahahahaha. ,Farnsworth,Preposterous twaddlecock. Time travel is impossible. 
Farnsworth,Preposterous twaddlecock. Time travel is impossible. ,Fry,"But Professor, you time traveled yourself, remember, when we went back to Roswell? "
Fry,"But Professor, you time traveled yourself, remember, when we went back to Roswell? ",Farnsworth,"That proves nothing. And furthermore, you'd think I'd remember a thing like that. Plus, who are you anyway? "
Farnsworth,"That proves nothing. And furthermore, you'd think I'd remember a thing like that. Plus, who are you anyway? ",Bender,"Man, this is fun on a bun. Here I go again. "
Bender,"Man, this is fun on a bun. Here I go again. ",Nibbler,Oh no you don't. 
Nibbler,Oh no you don't. ,Bender,"Scarab, four arm, bird, bird, bird!"
Bender,"Scarab, four arm, bird, bird, bird!",Bender,"Boo! Hahahaha. Naw, it's just me, Bender. "
Bender,"Boo! Hahahaha. Naw, it's just me, Bender. ",Farnsworth,"I must tell you Hedonismbot, I hate to sell my doomsday devices to a private collector. But with my business stolen I have to make ends meet. You will be careful? "
Farnsworth,"I must tell you Hedonismbot, I hate to sell my doomsday devices to a private collector. But with my business stolen I have to make ends meet. You will be careful? ",Hedonismbot,"I shan't touch them till I've had Jambi lock the absinthe and ether away. Ohhhh, what does this one do? "
Hedonismbot,"I shan't touch them till I've had Jambi lock the absinthe and ether away. Ohhhh, what does this one do? ",Farnsworth,"Uh, that one kills everything everywhere. "
Farnsworth,"Uh, that one kills everything everywhere. ",Hedonismbot,How delightful. And this one? 
Hedonismbot,How delightful. And this one? ,Farnsworth,Sir! The sphereoboom is not for sale. 
Farnsworth,Sir! The sphereoboom is not for sale. ,Farnsworth,It's my sentimental favorite. 
Farnsworth,It's my sentimental favorite. ,Hedonismbot,"No need to explain. I too have known unconventional love. Perhaps you and I, and Jambi, could get together and compare notes sometime, eh? "
Hedonismbot,"No need to explain. I too have known unconventional love. Perhaps you and I, and Jambi, could get together and compare notes sometime, eh? ",MC,... resulting in peace between east and west coat rappers ... 
MC,... resulting in peace between east and west coat rappers ... ,MC,Good god! 
MC,Good god! ,Bender,"I accept this Nobel peace prize not just for myself, but for crime robots everywhere. Skål! "
Bender,"I accept this Nobel peace prize not just for myself, but for crime robots everywhere. Skål! ",Bender,"Not so neutral now, are you Sweden? "
Bender,"Not so neutral now, are you Sweden? ",Leela,Be honest with me. Does my eye look monstery? I don't want to look monstery for my date with Lars. 
Leela,Be honest with me. Does my eye look monstery? I don't want to look monstery for my date with Lars. ,Hermes,"At least a monster has a body. What I wouldn't give for Wolfman's torso, or any of the groovy ghoulies. "
Hermes,"At least a monster has a body. What I wouldn't give for Wolfman's torso, or any of the groovy ghoulies. ",Leela,"[looking at Lars' business card]: Ohh, I think I'll wear that slutty dress I've been saving for Easter. "
Leela,"[looking at Lars' business card]: Ohh, I think I'll wear that slutty dress I've been saving for Easter. ",Fry,[taking the card from Leela]: I'd like to punch Lars right in his ruggedly good looking face!
Fry,[taking the card from Leela]: I'd like to punch Lars right in his ruggedly good looking face!,Nudar,"Like all rich people, we're gonna need weapons to shoot poor people. "
Nudar,"Like all rich people, we're gonna need weapons to shoot poor people. ",Schlump,In self defense? 
Schlump,In self defense? ,Nudar,"Yes, that too. Bender, go steal the doomsday device chained to the professor's wrist. "
Nudar,"Yes, that too. Bender, go steal the doomsday device chained to the professor's wrist. ",Bender,"Never! Ha ha, I'm kidding. You guys know I have to do whatever you say. "
Bender,"Never! Ha ha, I'm kidding. You guys know I have to do whatever you say. ",Nudar,"Here, swap this for the real one. "
Nudar,"Here, swap this for the real one. ",Bender,Ahhh! The old switcheroo. 
Bender,Ahhh! The old switcheroo. ,Nudar,"Yes, but don't wake him. You'll need jeweler's tools and foot cup silencers. "
Nudar,"Yes, but don't wake him. You'll need jeweler's tools and foot cup silencers. ",Bender,"Hey, I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do. Bender knows when to use finesse. "
Bender,"Hey, I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do. Bender knows when to use finesse. ",Bender,Here ya go. 
Bender,Here ya go. ,Nudar,"Put it in the safe, clanky. "
Nudar,"Put it in the safe, clanky. ",Zoidberg,[OC]: Owww! 
Zoidberg,[OC]: Owww! ,Bender,Wheeeeeeee. 
Bender,Wheeeeeeee. ,Zoidberg,[voice over]: It's the damdest thing ... 
Zoidberg,[voice over]: It's the damdest thing ... ,Zoidberg,... there I was in the dumpster enjoying a moldy fudgesicle when suddenly your hand flies over and slaps me in the tokhes. 
Zoidberg,... there I was in the dumpster enjoying a moldy fudgesicle when suddenly your hand flies over and slaps me in the tokhes. ,Farnsworth,"Yes, well, these things happen. Fortunately the sphereoboom is still safe. "
Farnsworth,"Yes, well, these things happen. Fortunately the sphereoboom is still safe. ",Farnsworth,Scammed? Me!? Sweetheart?!? Ohh! 
Farnsworth,Scammed? Me!? Sweetheart?!? Ohh! ,Hermes,"You do a nice hand job, Zoidberg. Tell me, If I could find an undamaged body, could you recapitate me? "
Hermes,"You do a nice hand job, Zoidberg. Tell me, If I could find an undamaged body, could you recapitate me? ",Zoidberg,"Hermes, I'm a surgeon. When I see two body parts I sew them together and see what happens. "
Zoidberg,"Hermes, I'm a surgeon. When I see two body parts I sew them together and see what happens. ",Hermes,Hmmm. 
Hermes,Hmmm. ,Hermes,All I'm askin' is for you to go back in time to when I still had my body and bring it back for me. 
Hermes,All I'm askin' is for you to go back in time to when I still had my body and bring it back for me. ,Bender,What do I do with your old head? 
Bender,What do I do with your old head? ,Hermes,I don't care in the slightest. 
Hermes,I don't care in the slightest. ,Bender,Can do! 
Bender,Can do! ,Hermes,"Come on, mon! "
Hermes,"Come on, mon! ",Zoidberg,"Hermes, please. You can't hurry a delicate operation like this. "
Zoidberg,"Hermes, please. You can't hurry a delicate operation like this. ",Hermes,What are those? 
Hermes,What are those? ,Hermes,You incompetent crab! 
Hermes,You incompetent crab! ,Zoidberg,"I thought you were happy, your tail is wagging. "
Zoidberg,"I thought you were happy, your tail is wagging. ",Hermes,Grrrrrr.... 
Hermes,Grrrrrr.... ,Farnsworth,"I believe this paradoicality equation to be unsolvable, ergo time travel is impossible. But I can't quite prove it, Bubblegum. Perhaps you and your razzle dazzle Globetrotter calculus could ... "
Farnsworth,"I believe this paradoicality equation to be unsolvable, ergo time travel is impossible. But I can't quite prove it, Bubblegum. Perhaps you and your razzle dazzle Globetrotter calculus could ... ",Bubblegum,"Looks pretty damn solvable to me, Farnsy. Sweet Clyde, use variation of parameter and expand the Wronskian. "
Bubblegum,"Looks pretty damn solvable to me, Farnsy. Sweet Clyde, use variation of parameter and expand the Wronskian. ",Farnsworth,"Shizz, baby. So paradox free time travel is possible after all. "
Farnsworth,"Shizz, baby. So paradox free time travel is possible after all. ",Bubblegum,Right on. But dig this multiplicand here. 
Bubblegum,Right on. But dig this multiplicand here. ,Farnsworth,The doom field? That must be what corrects the paradoxes. 
Farnsworth,The doom field? That must be what corrects the paradoxes. ,Curly,"Joe: When that momma rises exponentially, it could rupture the very fabric of causality. "
Curly,"Joe: When that momma rises exponentially, it could rupture the very fabric of causality. ",Nibbler,That's what I've been trying to tell you. 
Nibbler,That's what I've been trying to tell you. ,Farnsworth,"Hermes, you got your body back. Hurrah! "
Farnsworth,"Hermes, you got your body back. Hurrah! ",Hermes,"Yes, but not the original. Bender went back in time and picked up a copy. "
Hermes,"Yes, but not the original. Bender went back in time and picked up a copy. ",Bubblegum,"A copy! Funky cold medina. According to this equation, a time travel duplicate results in a complex denominator in the causality ratio. "
Bubblegum,"A copy! Funky cold medina. According to this equation, a time travel duplicate results in a complex denominator in the causality ratio. ",Sweet,Clyde: Oh Snap! Bet you know what that means. 
Sweet,Clyde: Oh Snap! Bet you know what that means. ,Hermes,"I can guess. Actually, I can't guess. "
Hermes,"I can guess. Actually, I can't guess. ",Bubblegum,"Prof, you got a doom meter in this lab. "
Bubblegum,"Prof, you got a doom meter in this lab. ",Farnsworth,"Good Lord, Bubblegum. The duplicate body is emitting doom at ten times the back ground level. "
Farnsworth,"Good Lord, Bubblegum. The duplicate body is emitting doom at ten times the back ground level. ",Bubblegum,I thought as much. A duplicate body is always doomed. It's just a matter of time. 
Bubblegum,I thought as much. A duplicate body is always doomed. It's just a matter of time. ,Hermes,I don't care. I just need it long enough to bird dog in an win LaBarbara back. 
Hermes,I don't care. I just need it long enough to bird dog in an win LaBarbara back. ,Bubblegum,Best bird dog fast my brother. 
Bubblegum,Best bird dog fast my brother. ,Hermes,That the way I bird dog best. 
Hermes,That the way I bird dog best. ,Lars,"Drink, quick. I can't balance it much longer. "
Lars,"Drink, quick. I can't balance it much longer. ",Lars,Yes! 
Lars,Yes! ,Leela,This is so much fun Lars. Most men are intimidated by the fact that I could kill them with the flick of my wrist. 
Leela,This is so much fun Lars. Most men are intimidated by the fact that I could kill them with the flick of my wrist. ,Lars,"Well not me. 'Cause if you do, you'll be stuck with the check. "
Lars,"Well not me. 'Cause if you do, you'll be stuck with the check. ",Elzar,"Folks, care for a little fresh ground executive? "
Elzar,"Folks, care for a little fresh ground executive? ",Leela,Please. 
Leela,Please. ,Elzar,Bam! 
Elzar,Bam! ,Elzar,"Don't get excited kids, this thing's got heart shaped nostrils. Want to see it make a star? "
Elzar,"Don't get excited kids, this thing's got heart shaped nostrils. Want to see it make a star? ",Leela,and Lars: No! 
Leela,and Lars: No! ,Bender,"Here's your Gutenberg Bible master. Plus the Colonel's secret recipe: Chicken, Grease, Salt. "
Bender,"Here's your Gutenberg Bible master. Plus the Colonel's secret recipe: Chicken, Grease, Salt. ",Fleb,"Well, that does it. We've got every valuable object in history. "
Fleb,"Well, that does it. We've got every valuable object in history. ",Fry,Owww! 
Fry,Owww! ,Nudar,Hmm. Now that I'm rich I suddenly care if the universe gets destroyed. We can't use that dangerous time code again. Blank it from the robot's memory. 
Nudar,Hmm. Now that I'm rich I suddenly care if the universe gets destroyed. We can't use that dangerous time code again. Blank it from the robot's memory. ,Bender,Ahhhhh. 
Bender,Ahhhhh. ,Nudar,I'll vaporize this guy so his ass doesn't fall into the wrong hands. 
Nudar,I'll vaporize this guy so his ass doesn't fall into the wrong hands. ,Fry,Why don't you just remove my tattoo? 
Fry,Why don't you just remove my tattoo? ,Nudar,Nice try. But you might have memorized it. 
Nudar,Nice try. But you might have memorized it. ,Fry,No I mighn't. I can't even remember my mother's maiden name. 
Fry,No I mighn't. I can't even remember my mother's maiden name. ,Nudar,It's Gleisner. 
Nudar,It's Gleisner. ,Fry,Stupid naked aliens. Stupid Lars. I hate the future. 
Fry,Stupid naked aliens. Stupid Lars. I hate the future. ,Fry,Hmmmm! 
Fry,Hmmmm! ,Bubblegum,"Man, that cube root was a real buzzer beater, Clyde. "
Bubblegum,"Man, that cube root was a real buzzer beater, Clyde. ",Fry,Zero. One. One. One. Zero. Zero. One. One! 
Fry,Zero. One. One. One. Zero. Zero. One. One! ,Schlump,Blast him. 
Schlump,Blast him. ,Bender,Ha ha! You missed! Oh great master. 
Bender,Ha ha! You missed! Oh great master. ,Fry,Hello 2000. I'm home. 
Fry,Hello 2000. I'm home. ,Voice,"(OC) Happy New Year, naked weirdo!"
Voice,"(OC) Happy New Year, naked weirdo!",Fry,Happy new year. 
Fry,Happy new year. ,Nudar,"Well, we'll never know where the ass guy went, and since we can't kill him, I say live and let live. "
Nudar,"Well, we'll never know where the ass guy went, and since we can't kill him, I say live and let live. ",Bender,"Aww, that's sweet boss. Fry'll be nice and cozy back in the year 2000. "
Bender,"Aww, that's sweet boss. Fry'll be nice and cozy back in the year 2000. ",Nudar,What?! How do you know he went to the year 2000? 
Nudar,What?! How do you know he went to the year 2000? ,Bender,That's where he always goes. 
Bender,That's where he always goes. ,Nudar,Hmm. Better play it safe. Go there a little earlier and wait for him. You know what to do. 
Nudar,Hmm. Better play it safe. Go there a little earlier and wait for him. You know what to do. ,Bender,"You want me to concludify him, like some sort of dispatcherator? "
Bender,"You want me to concludify him, like some sort of dispatcherator? ",Nudar,Yes. And don't forget to terminate him. 
Nudar,Yes. And don't forget to terminate him. ,Bender,Got it. Preparing to terminate Philip Fry!
Bender,Got it. Preparing to terminate Philip Fry!,Schlump,What's with the doofy sun glasses? 
Schlump,What's with the doofy sun glasses? ,Bender,Ohhh! 
Bender,Ohhh! ,Bender,"Hey, there you are! ... Oh, wait, that's Fry before he goes to the future. I'm waiting for the one who comes back from the future. Geesh this is confusing, and I bet it's gonna get a lot more confusing. Offf. That cheap beer really goes right through you. For the first time ever, I gotta use the bathroom, but if I leave, I might miss Fry. Ohhhh unless .... "
Bender,"Hey, there you are! ... Oh, wait, that's Fry before he goes to the future. I'm waiting for the one who comes back from the future. Geesh this is confusing, and I bet it's gonna get a lot more confusing. Offf. That cheap beer really goes right through you. For the first time ever, I gotta use the bathroom, but if I leave, I might miss Fry. Ohhhh unless .... ",Bender-2,... and I bet it's gonna get a lot more confusing. Huh! Ah! Wha? 
Bender-2,... and I bet it's gonna get a lot more confusing. Huh! Ah! Wha? ,Bender,"Hi, I'm you from 19 seconds in the future. Stay here and wait for Fry while I go to the bathroom. "
Bender,"Hi, I'm you from 19 seconds in the future. Stay here and wait for Fry while I go to the bathroom. ",Bender-2,Ok Boss. After I kill Fry you're next. 
Bender-2,Ok Boss. After I kill Fry you're next. ,Bender,What? 
Bender,What? ,Bender-2,Nothing. 
Bender-2,Nothing. ,Bender-2,What the? Who are you? 
Bender-2,What the? Who are you? ,Bender-3,I'm Bender from way at the end. I came back to put this rub-on time code on Fry's ass. 
Bender-3,I'm Bender from way at the end. I came back to put this rub-on time code on Fry's ass. ,Bender-2,"So what are you now, a butler? Spot of tea please, jerkwad!"
Bender-2,"So what are you now, a butler? Spot of tea please, jerkwad!",Bender-3,"It's called class, you yokel. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a buttocks to tattoo. "
Bender-3,"It's called class, you yokel. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a buttocks to tattoo. ",Fry,Hello 2000. I'm home. 
Fry,Hello 2000. I'm home. ,Voice,"(OC) Happy New Year, naked weirdo!"
Voice,"(OC) Happy New Year, naked weirdo!",Fry,Happy new year. 
Fry,Happy new year. ,Bender-2,"Hasta la vista, meatbag!"
Bender-2,"Hasta la vista, meatbag!",Fry,"Bender? What are you doing? It's me, your best friend. "
Fry,"Bender? What are you doing? It's me, your best friend. ",Bender-2,Must obey orders. Ohhhhh. Mustn't kill friend!! Ohhhhhh!!! Badly want to urinate!!!!!
Bender-2,Must obey orders. Ohhhhh. Mustn't kill friend!! Ohhhhhh!!! Badly want to urinate!!!!!,Fry,What's happening? Are you urinating? 
Fry,What's happening? Are you urinating? ,Bender-2,"Explosion in seven, six, ... "
Bender-2,"Explosion in seven, six, ... ",Fry,It'll be a cold day in hell my friend. 
Fry,It'll be a cold day in hell my friend. ,Bender-2,"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things!"
Bender-2,"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things!",Bender,"Hey ... so the game of cat and mouse begins, huh? Let us match wits. .... Ohhhh, how am I supposed to find him? All those times he blabbed on and on about his life in the twentieth century. If only I'd paid the slightest bit of attention. Oh well, guess I'd better go kill myself. "
Bender,"Hey ... so the game of cat and mouse begins, huh? Let us match wits. .... Ohhhh, how am I supposed to find him? All those times he blabbed on and on about his life in the twentieth century. If only I'd paid the slightest bit of attention. Oh well, guess I'd better go kill myself. ",Cryogenicist,"(from Jurassic Bark): Hello, bartender? I have thought it over, and far from being a fat pig, you are very nice and I would like another drink ... "
Cryogenicist,"(from Jurassic Bark): Hello, bartender? I have thought it over, and far from being a fat pig, you are very nice and I would like another drink ... ",Bender,"Helloooo? Kill me you stupid machine. ... What the ... local calls fifty cents? It's a street corner telephone parlor! Oh what kind of horrible suicide free time is this? Wait a minute, maybe this handy encyclopedia of humans will help me track Fry down. "
Bender,"Helloooo? Kill me you stupid machine. ... What the ... local calls fifty cents? It's a street corner telephone parlor! Oh what kind of horrible suicide free time is this? Wait a minute, maybe this handy encyclopedia of humans will help me track Fry down. ",Bender,"One of these Frys must be Fry. Look out Philip Fry, 'cause I got a little present for you. "
Bender,"One of these Frys must be Fry. Look out Philip Fry, 'cause I got a little present for you. ",Fat,Man name is Phillip Fry. Where's my present. 
Fat,Man name is Phillip Fry. Where's my present. ,Bender,Hang on a second Fry. I don't remember you being that ugly. 
Bender,Hang on a second Fry. I don't remember you being that ugly. ,Fat,"Man: Oh no, I've always been this ugly. "
Fat,"Man: Oh no, I've always been this ugly. ",Bender,"No tattoo. Okay, you can go. "
Bender,"No tattoo. Okay, you can go. ",Fat,Man: Farewell sir. 
Fat,Man: Farewell sir. ,Bender,"Say your prayers, Fry. "
Bender,"Say your prayers, Fry. ",Michelle,This isn't Fry. I kicked Fry out two hours ago. This is my new boyfriend ... uhhh ... 
Michelle,This isn't Fry. I kicked Fry out two hours ago. This is my new boyfriend ... uhhh ... ,Constantine,Constantine. 
Constantine,Constantine. ,Michelle,Really? That's a dumb name. Ewwww. 
Michelle,Really? That's a dumb name. Ewwww. ,Bender,"Ohh, nice, now I see why she left Fry. "
Bender,"Ohh, nice, now I see why she left Fry. ",Bender,"Okay, you're still clean. I mean metaphorically. "
Bender,"Okay, you're still clean. I mean metaphorically. ",Bender,"He must have left the city. Man, this could take all day. "
Bender,"He must have left the city. Man, this could take all day. ",Phil,"The returns are looking good, Mr. Gore. "
Phil,"The returns are looking good, Mr. Gore. ",Al,"Gore: Thanks, Phil. Here's to four years of clean air, clean government, and amazing new technologies such as ... "
Al,"Gore: Thanks, Phil. Here's to four years of clean air, clean government, and amazing new technologies such as ... ",Al,Gore: ... ROBOT! 
Al,Gore: ... ROBOT! ,Bender,Philip Fry? 
Bender,Philip Fry? ,Transition,Announcer: Twelve years passed. Then ... 
Transition,Announcer: Twelve years passed. Then ... ,Transition,Announcer: ... this. 
Transition,Announcer: ... this. ,Bender,Philip J. Fry? 
Bender,Philip J. Fry? ,Yancy,"Fry, Jr.: Phil, some kind of trash can here to see you. He's coming. "
Yancy,"Fry, Jr.: Phil, some kind of trash can here to see you. He's coming. ",Philip,J. Fry II: Are you made of Tinkertoy? 
Philip,J. Fry II: Are you made of Tinkertoy? ,Bender,Hmmm. It's been twelve years. Maybe I'm getting taller. 
Bender,Hmmm. It's been twelve years. Maybe I'm getting taller. ,Philip,J. Fry II: You're not getting smarter. 
Philip,J. Fry II: You're not getting smarter. ,Bender,"Listen, pipsqueak, are you Philip J. Fry or not? 'Cause if you are, I'm here to kill you. "
Bender,"Listen, pipsqueak, are you Philip J. Fry or not? 'Cause if you are, I'm here to kill you. ",Philip,J. Fry II: I'd like to see you try. 
Philip,J. Fry II: I'd like to see you try. ,Philip,J. Fry II You want Uncle Phil. He went to the North Pole on a fishing boat. 
Philip,J. Fry II You want Uncle Phil. He went to the North Pole on a fishing boat. ,Bender,Ahhhh! The North Pole? I was just there. 
Bender,Ahhhh! The North Pole? I was just there. ,Bender,"It is him, I'd recognize me, and hence him, anywhere. "
Bender,"It is him, I'd recognize me, and hence him, anywhere. ",Bender,Follow that guy. There's an extra hundred in it for you if you follow him so close that you run him over. 
Bender,Follow that guy. There's an extra hundred in it for you if you follow him so close that you run him over. ,Al,Gore: (cab driver) Yes sir. 
Al,Gore: (cab driver) Yes sir. ,Al,Gore: Dang. That hundred dollars could have bought me one gallon of gas. 
Al,Gore: Dang. That hundred dollars could have bought me one gallon of gas. ,Bender,"Others however will call me the world's sexiest killing machine who's fun at parties. Fry, old buddy, it's me, Bender. "
Bender,"Others however will call me the world's sexiest killing machine who's fun at parties. Fry, old buddy, it's me, Bender. ",Bender,"Oh god, what have I done? "
Bender,"Oh god, what have I done? ",Bender,Preparing to terminate Philip Fry. 
Bender,Preparing to terminate Philip Fry. ,Schlump,What's with the doofy sun glasses? 
Schlump,What's with the doofy sun glasses? ,Bender,It's really bright in the past.
Bender,It's really bright in the past.,Bender,Mission accomplished. 
Bender,Mission accomplished. ,Schlump,Fry is dead? 
Schlump,Fry is dead? ,Bender,I'm the greatest. 
Bender,I'm the greatest. ,Head,cleaner: Time code and obedience virus erased. 
Head,cleaner: Time code and obedience virus erased. ,Bender,Huh? 
Bender,Huh? ,Head,"cleaner: Also, fifty terabytes of porn. "
Head,"cleaner: Also, fifty terabytes of porn. ",Bender,Hey! 
Bender,Hey! ,Nudar,"You've got no porn, no code, and you're ugly! Let's dance! "
Nudar,"You've got no porn, no code, and you're ugly! Let's dance! ",Leela,Now it's true we'll all miss Fry. 
Leela,Now it's true we'll all miss Fry. ,Zoidberg,He was the only one of you who never struck me. 
Zoidberg,He was the only one of you who never struck me. ,Leela,And we'll never see if boyish smile and hair horn again. But I bet he went back to his own time. I'm sure he was very happy and lived to a ripe old age. 
Leela,And we'll never see if boyish smile and hair horn again. But I bet he went back to his own time. I'm sure he was very happy and lived to a ripe old age. ,Bender,He wasn't and he didn't! 
Bender,He wasn't and he didn't! ,Amy,"Awww, don't blame yourself, Bender. "
Amy,"Awww, don't blame yourself, Bender. ",Bender,"I don't blame myself, I blame all of you. "
Bender,"I don't blame myself, I blame all of you. ",Amy,Us?! How can you possibly blame us? 
Amy,Us?! How can you possibly blame us? ,Bender,"Ohhh, Fry, I'd give anything to unmurder you!"
Bender,"Ohhh, Fry, I'd give anything to unmurder you!",Fry,Did someone call me? 
Fry,Did someone call me? ,Bender,But ... I killed you in 2012. Unless ... 
Bender,But ... I killed you in 2012. Unless ... ,Fry,Ooph! 
Fry,Ooph! ,Bender,"Nope, he's not a zombie. "
Bender,"Nope, he's not a zombie. ",Lars,Welcome back Fry. 
Lars,Welcome back Fry. ,Fry,"Thank you, Lars. "
Fry,"Thank you, Lars. ",Lars,"I .. ah ... I .. I'll see you later, honey. "
Lars,"I .. ah ... I .. I'll see you later, honey. ",Farnsworth,"So tell us Fry. If Bender killed you centuries ago, how in Satan's glorious name did you return? "
Farnsworth,"So tell us Fry. If Bender killed you centuries ago, how in Satan's glorious name did you return? ",Fry,"Ohh, it's an astonishing tale of incredibleness. It all began when I went back in time. "
Fry,"Ohh, it's an astonishing tale of incredibleness. It all began when I went back in time. ",Farnsworth,Duhhh. 
Farnsworth,Duhhh. ,Fry,"Hey, Mr. Panucci, I'm back from that delivery to the cryogenic lab. "
Fry,"Hey, Mr. Panucci, I'm back from that delivery to the cryogenic lab. ",Panucci,Great. I'll put you on the cover of Big Whoop magazine! 
Panucci,Great. I'll put you on the cover of Big Whoop magazine! ,Fry,"Mmmm, I'm starving. Can I have a slice? "
Fry,"Mmmm, I'm starving. Can I have a slice? ",Panucci,Help yourself. Cash up front. 
Panucci,Help yourself. Cash up front. ,H.G.,Blob: This note is legal tender. 
H.G.,Blob: This note is legal tender. ,Fry,"(VO) Unfortunately, I had no money from that era. But that's when it hit me - I knew where to find free pizza. "
Fry,"(VO) Unfortunately, I had no money from that era. But that's when it hit me - I knew where to find free pizza. ",Fry,"Ohh, ice cold. "
Fry,"Ohh, ice cold. ",Fry,(VO) That's when it hit me again ... 
Fry,(VO) That's when it hit me again ... ,Fry,Zero zero one one zero ... 
Fry,Zero zero one one zero ... ,Bender-2,"Explosion in seven, six ... "
Bender-2,"Explosion in seven, six ... ",Fry-2,It'll be a cold day in hell my friend. 
Fry-2,It'll be a cold day in hell my friend. ,Bender-2,"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things!"
Bender-2,"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things!",Fry,"Nice kick, me. "
Fry,"Nice kick, me. ",Fry-2,Thanks. What are you doing here? 
Fry-2,Thanks. What are you doing here? ,Fry,"One hour from now, I travel back in time for free pizza. "
Fry,"One hour from now, I travel back in time for free pizza. ",Fry-2,But Nibbler said not to use the time code. 
Fry-2,But Nibbler said not to use the time code. ,Fry,"Fine, Mr. Responsible, don't use the code. Mmmmm. That pizza sure was good. "
Fry,"Fine, Mr. Responsible, don't use the code. Mmmmm. That pizza sure was good. ",Fry-2,You pig. 
Fry-2,You pig. ,Fry,Whatever. 
Fry,Whatever. ,Fry,(VO) That's when it hit me yet a third time ... 
Fry,(VO) That's when it hit me yet a third time ... ,Fry,"You idiot, frozen me's still got a wallet full of old timey money. "
Fry,"You idiot, frozen me's still got a wallet full of old timey money. ",Fry,"Yuck, I touched my own butt. "
Fry,"Yuck, I touched my own butt. ",Fry,So I unfroze ten minutes ago and I walked over here and then it was now and then I don't know what happened. 
Fry,So I unfroze ten minutes ago and I walked over here and then it was now and then I don't know what happened. ,Bender,"Well, I'm glad you're alive, but I don't want people to say I'm incompetent so I better kill you again. Hold still. "
Bender,"Well, I'm glad you're alive, but I don't want people to say I'm incompetent so I better kill you again. Hold still. ",Farnsworth,Bender! Stop killing for a minute. The Fry you murdered was doomed anyway. See? 
Farnsworth,Bender! Stop killing for a minute. The Fry you murdered was doomed anyway. See? ,Bender,What'd ya got there? Numbers? 
Bender,What'd ya got there? Numbers? ,Farnsworth,"When the time code duplicates a living thing, the copy is always doomed. And that includes flabby Jamaican potbellies. "
Farnsworth,"When the time code duplicates a living thing, the copy is always doomed. And that includes flabby Jamaican potbellies. ",Hermes,Kiss my front butt. 
Hermes,Kiss my front butt. ,Fry,So my copy lives twelve years before Bender murdered him? 
Fry,So my copy lives twelve years before Bender murdered him? ,Bender,Brutally murdered. 
Bender,Brutally murdered. ,Fry,I wonder what his life was like? 
Fry,I wonder what his life was like? ,Scruffy,I guess we'll never know. 
Scruffy,I guess we'll never know. ,Zoidberg,Or will we? 
Zoidberg,Or will we? ,Scruffy,Nope. 
Scruffy,Nope. ,Transition,"Announcer: They won't know, but you will. Lucky you. "
Transition,"Announcer: They won't know, but you will. Lucky you. ",Fry-2,"Oh hey Mr. Panucci, I'm back from the delivery to the cryogenic lab. "
Fry-2,"Oh hey Mr. Panucci, I'm back from the delivery to the cryogenic lab. ",Panucci,I know. I read about it in Big Whoop magazine. 
Panucci,I know. I read about it in Big Whoop magazine. ,Fry-2,So ... uh ... my girlfriend kicked me out. Can I rent the upstairs storage room? 
Fry-2,So ... uh ... my girlfriend kicked me out. Can I rent the upstairs storage room? ,Panucci,"The upstairs storage? I like you kid. Your lousy life makes me feel good about myself. The room's yours. Here, take some rat spray for the meat ball hamper. "
Panucci,"The upstairs storage? I like you kid. Your lousy life makes me feel good about myself. The room's yours. Here, take some rat spray for the meat ball hamper. ",Hermes,"Happy day, mon! It's good to have you back. "
Hermes,"Happy day, mon! It's good to have you back. ",Nibbler,"Indeed, but the scammers will soon sprunje the code again. We must remove the time tattoo at once, and as painlessly as possible. "
Nibbler,"Indeed, but the scammers will soon sprunje the code again. We must remove the time tattoo at once, and as painlessly as possible. ",Lars,"Hurry, they're coming. "
Lars,"Hurry, they're coming. ",Nibbler,"There, the code is gone. I saved the space-time continuum and forty percent of your rectum. "
Nibbler,"There, the code is gone. I saved the space-time continuum and forty percent of your rectum. ",Bubblegum,That's all you need. 
Bubblegum,That's all you need. ,Nudar,I sprunje code. 
Nudar,I sprunje code. ,Nibbler,"Too late, Nudar. I've wiped Fry's butt clean. "
Nibbler,"Too late, Nudar. I've wiped Fry's butt clean. ",Nudar,We'll see about that. 
Nudar,We'll see about that. ,Fleb,Nothing boss. We sprunjed his ass inside and out. 
Fleb,Nothing boss. We sprunjed his ass inside and out. ,Schlump,The only information we found was a hair shaped like the number six. 
Schlump,The only information we found was a hair shaped like the number six. ,Nudar,"mmm. Nine. Alright, let him go, I guess the time code really is gone. "
Nudar,"mmm. Nine. Alright, let him go, I guess the time code really is gone. ",Fry,"Thank god. The present may stink, but at least now we can look forward to a better yesterday. "
Fry,"Thank god. The present may stink, but at least now we can look forward to a better yesterday. ",Fry-2,"I'm sorry Leela, I can't keep living in the past, by which I mean the future. I'll always love you, but I've got to move on and find my life's purpose. "
Fry-2,"I'm sorry Leela, I can't keep living in the past, by which I mean the future. I'll always love you, but I've got to move on and find my life's purpose. ",TV,Anchorman: ... and that how Bundles the monkey finally found a friend. 
TV,Anchorman: ... and that how Bundles the monkey finally found a friend. ,Fry-2,I miss Morbo. 
Fry-2,I miss Morbo. ,TV,"Anchorman: And finally tonight on the late, cute animal news, a story that will really tug your heartstrings, way more than bundles, the doll-raping monkey. It's the tale of lonely Leelu, the little orphan narwhal. "
TV,"Anchorman: And finally tonight on the late, cute animal news, a story that will really tug your heartstrings, way more than bundles, the doll-raping monkey. It's the tale of lonely Leelu, the little orphan narwhal. ",Fry-2,Awww. 
Fry-2,Awww. ,Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: (on TV) Leelu is a rare, toothed female narwhal who got disoriented and washed up in Atlantic City, as we all do from time to time. But without a mother, she's lost the will to eat. Come on, take a sip. "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: (on TV) Leelu is a rare, toothed female narwhal who got disoriented and washed up in Atlantic City, as we all do from time to time. But without a mother, she's lost the will to eat. Come on, take a sip. ",Fry-2,I know how to make things eat. Maybe this is my purpose in life. 
Fry-2,I know how to make things eat. Maybe this is my purpose in life. ,Fry,"Hi, I'd like to apply for a job working with Leelu. "
Fry,"Hi, I'd like to apply for a job working with Leelu. ",Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: Question number one, do you have any experience working with marine mammals? "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: Question number one, do you have any experience working with marine mammals? ",Fry-2,"No, but I think they're pretty neat. "
Fry-2,"No, but I think they're pretty neat. ",Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: That answers question number two. Question number three, do you know where the door is or would you prefer to be kicked out? "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: That answers question number two. Question number three, do you know where the door is or would you prefer to be kicked out? ",Fry-2,I don't know. I guess kicked out. 
Fry-2,I don't know. I guess kicked out. ,Fry-2,"Hiya girl. My name's Fry, and I think you're a cutie 'cause I like things that have only one thing instead of two things. "
Fry-2,"Hiya girl. My name's Fry, and I think you're a cutie 'cause I like things that have only one thing instead of two things. ",Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: Holy mackerel, she's eating whole mackerel. I don't know what your secret is but if you'll work for minimum wage you can start tomorrow. "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: Holy mackerel, she's eating whole mackerel. I don't know what your secret is but if you'll work for minimum wage you can start tomorrow. ",Fry-2,"If I work of less than minimum, can I start today? "
Fry-2,"If I work of less than minimum, can I start today? ",Dr.,Schlovinowitz: I don't see why not. 
Dr.,Schlovinowitz: I don't see why not. ,Morbo,"(on TV) In business news, the weak and gullible inhabitants of Earth were plunged into economic depression today as the scammer aliens finished stealing every item of value, including ownership of this station. "
Morbo,"(on TV) In business news, the weak and gullible inhabitants of Earth were plunged into economic depression today as the scammer aliens finished stealing every item of value, including ownership of this station. ",Nudar,Tough times earth chumps. We're repossessing your TV. Seems you can't afford it now that you're unemployed.
Nudar,Tough times earth chumps. We're repossessing your TV. Seems you can't afford it now that you're unemployed.,Zoidberg,We're not unemplo -- 
Zoidberg,We're not unemplo -- ,Lars,I love the hard museum at night. It's where I come to be alone. 
Lars,I love the hard museum at night. It's where I come to be alone. ,Heads,Hi Lars. 
Heads,Hi Lars. ,De,"Gaulle: Ah, Lars and la belle Leela. I trust you brought some haute cuisine for an old Frenchman. "
De,"Gaulle: Ah, Lars and la belle Leela. I trust you brought some haute cuisine for an old Frenchman. ",Lars,"You're favorite General, Torgo's Executive Powder. "
Lars,"You're favorite General, Torgo's Executive Powder. ",De,Gaulle: Mmmm. Magnifique. 
De,Gaulle: Mmmm. Magnifique. ,Lars,"Come on Leela, let me show you the hall of screaming skulls. "
Lars,"Come on Leela, let me show you the hall of screaming skulls. ",Lars,What's wrong? Is the screaming depressing you? 
Lars,What's wrong? Is the screaming depressing you? ,Leela,It's just ... my life is changing so fast. I don't know who I am anymore. 
Leela,It's just ... my life is changing so fast. I don't know who I am anymore. ,Lars,I know who you are. You're the woman I've been waiting for all my life. 
Lars,I know who you are. You're the woman I've been waiting for all my life. ,Leela,Let's go to my place. 
Leela,Let's go to my place. ,Lars,I ... like what you've done with it. 
Lars,I ... like what you've done with it. ,Leela,"All tenants evicted, signed new owners? "
Leela,"All tenants evicted, signed new owners? ",Nudar,"That would be us, dump cakes. We're buying the whole city and turning it into a private panda hunting reserve.  Na-na-na!!"
Nudar,"That would be us, dump cakes. We're buying the whole city and turning it into a private panda hunting reserve.  Na-na-na!!",Leela,There aren't any Pandas in New New York. 
Leela,There aren't any Pandas in New New York. ,Schlump,"Back it up, Sal!"
Schlump,"Back it up, Sal!",Amy,"Look at us, living like trash eating bums in an alley now. "
Amy,"Look at us, living like trash eating bums in an alley now. ",Zoidberg,Yes. Now. 
Zoidberg,Yes. Now. ,Tinny,Tim ooofff. 
Tinny,Tim ooofff. ,Bender,Oops. 
Bender,Oops. ,Farnsworth,"Well, at least we have each other, so it truly is the worst Xmas ever. "
Farnsworth,"Well, at least we have each other, so it truly is the worst Xmas ever. ",Hermes,Santa! 
Fry,That's it. I don't see how things could get any worse. ,Bender,We could sing. 
Bender,We could sing. ,Farnsworth,I'd rather kill myself. 
Farnsworth,I'd rather kill myself. ,Amy,Why not do both? 
Amy,Why not do both? ,Farnsworth,"Oh, very well. "
Farnsworth,"Oh, very well. ",Nudar,Neh! 
Nudar,Neh! ,Leela,Lars brought me candy. 
Leela,Lars brought me candy. ,"Fry,","Amy, Zoidberg, Bender, Tinny Tim, and Nibbler: Cram it down and shut the hell up! "
"Fry,","Amy, Zoidberg, Bender, Tinny Tim, and Nibbler: Cram it down and shut the hell up! ",Hermes,I can't compete with that. 
Hermes,I can't compete with that. ,Leela,Lars says I'm dreamy. 
Leela,Lars says I'm dreamy. ,"Fry,","Zoidberg, Amy, Tinny Tim, Bender, Farnsworth: Who the hell cares? "
"Fry,","Zoidberg, Amy, Tinny Tim, Bender, Farnsworth: Who the hell cares? ",Santa,That's my cue. 
Santa,That's my cue. ,Tinny,Tim: Oh my word! 
Tinny,Tim: Oh my word! ,Leela,"Hey, guess what guys! "
Leela,"Hey, guess what guys! ",Zoidberg,What? 
Zoidberg,What? ,Zoidberg,Mazel tov!
Zoidberg,Mazel tov!,Amy,May stars in heaven bless your love!
Amy,May stars in heaven bless your love!,Fry,Now could things get any worse. 
Fry,Now could things get any worse. ,Santa,Ho! Ho! Ho. 
Santa,Ho! Ho! Ho. ,Lars,Stop screaming. That's just what the bomb wants us to do. 
Lars,Stop screaming. That's just what the bomb wants us to do. ,Lars,"Don't worry, a bomb in a case is just like a head in a jar. "
Lars,"Don't worry, a bomb in a case is just like a head in a jar. ",Leela,Oh Lars! No blowing us up make me love you even more. 
Leela,Oh Lars! No blowing us up make me love you even more. ,Fry,Life saving goody goody ... 
Fry,Life saving goody goody ... ,Farnsworth,"Well now that death has been staved off momentarily, let me be the first to say congratulations Leela and Lars. "
Farnsworth,"Well now that death has been staved off momentarily, let me be the first to say congratulations Leela and Lars. ",Amy,Maid of honor! 
Amy,Maid of honor! ,Zoidberg,Maid of honor! Ohhh. 
Zoidberg,Maid of honor! Ohhh. ,Fry,"I could make you happy too, if only you'd give me a chance. "
Fry,"I could make you happy too, if only you'd give me a chance. ",Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: You've done a wonderful job, Fry. When you first started, I thought she'd be dead within a narweek, which is six days I believe. "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: You've done a wonderful job, Fry. When you first started, I thought she'd be dead within a narweek, which is six days I believe. ",Dr.,Schlovinowitz: Now that the kind of whale behavioral science they don't teach you in whale behavioral science class. 
Dr.,Schlovinowitz: Now that the kind of whale behavioral science they don't teach you in whale behavioral science class. ,Fry,"So what's up, Dr. Schlovinowitz? "
Fry,"So what's up, Dr. Schlovinowitz? ",Dr.,"Schlovinowitz This is a little hard for me to say Fry. You see, it's ... it's time we released Leelu back into the wild. "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz This is a little hard for me to say Fry. You see, it's ... it's time we released Leelu back into the wild. ",Dr.,Schlovinowitz: I'm sorry. The decision is final. Plus we need the tank for the Loch Ness monster. 
Dr.,Schlovinowitz: I'm sorry. The decision is final. Plus we need the tank for the Loch Ness monster. ,Fry-2,But that turned out to be a log with a Halloween mask stapled to it. 
Fry-2,But that turned out to be a log with a Halloween mask stapled to it. ,Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: Yes, well, it still draws a crowd. "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: Yes, well, it still draws a crowd. ",Fry-2,"I can't let this happen, she'll never be happy without me. "
Fry-2,"I can't let this happen, she'll never be happy without me. ",Elzar,I know you're broke and homeless but you still want a swank wedding reception so I whipped you up some real nice budge appetizers. 
Elzar,I know you're broke and homeless but you still want a swank wedding reception so I whipped you up some real nice budge appetizers. ,Lars,Mmmm. I can keep these down. 
Lars,Mmmm. I can keep these down. ,Elzar,Okay! That's a big yes on the crud puffs. Try the shlimp cocktail. 
Elzar,Okay! That's a big yes on the crud puffs. Try the shlimp cocktail. ,Fry,There must be some way I can stop this wedding. What if I steal the wedding ring?
Fry,There must be some way I can stop this wedding. What if I steal the wedding ring?,Fry,You think that'll be enough to stop the ceremony. 
Fry,You think that'll be enough to stop the ceremony. ,Bender,"Nope. I pulled the old switcheroo, so they won't even know the difference. Wait a minute, I think the copy I made cost more than this. "
Bender,"Nope. I pulled the old switcheroo, so they won't even know the difference. Wait a minute, I think the copy I made cost more than this. ",Fry,Cheap lousy Lars. 
Fry,Cheap lousy Lars. ,Bender,"Actually this is extremely nice, but I really went all out on the copy. It was sorta my gift to them. "
Bender,"Actually this is extremely nice, but I really went all out on the copy. It was sorta my gift to them. ",Fry,I can't let this happen. She'll never be happy without me. 
Fry,I can't let this happen. She'll never be happy without me. ,Fry-2,"It's not fair, we need each other. "
Fry-2,"It's not fair, we need each other. ",Fry-2,You need your blanket Mr. Panucci. 
Fry-2,You need your blanket Mr. Panucci. ,Panucci,"I don't even want to be here. I only came 'cause you wheeled me. But if that narwal means so much to you, you gotta do something. "
Panucci,"I don't even want to be here. I only came 'cause you wheeled me. But if that narwal means so much to you, you gotta do something. ",Fry-2,I know. But I can't just go chasing after her. That'd be nuts. 
Fry-2,I know. But I can't just go chasing after her. That'd be nuts. ,Panucci,"Ah, Sometimes you gotta be a little nuts. Let me introduce you to my cousin. He owns a small freighter. That's him, right behind us. "
Panucci,"Ah, Sometimes you gotta be a little nuts. Let me introduce you to my cousin. He owns a small freighter. That's him, right behind us. ",Fry-2,"Sir, I'd like to engage your ship for a trans-Arctic voyage to capture a Narwhal and bring it back to my room. "
Fry-2,"Sir, I'd like to engage your ship for a trans-Arctic voyage to capture a Narwhal and bring it back to my room. ",Panucci,"The mans is nuts, Leroy."
Panucci,"The mans is nuts, Leroy.",Leroy,"Professional whale keeper, eh? I've carried your type before and we don't get along. Oh, I agree with your values and your goals and your methods, but somehow we just never click on a personal level. "
Leroy,"Professional whale keeper, eh? I've carried your type before and we don't get along. Oh, I agree with your values and your goals and your methods, but somehow we just never click on a personal level. ",Fry-2,I'm not a professional anymore. Just a narwal loving private citizen. 
Fry-2,I'm not a professional anymore. Just a narwal loving private citizen. ,Leroy,Then I'm you man. We'll take on three barrels of fresh sausage and sail at dawn. 
Leroy,Then I'm you man. We'll take on three barrels of fresh sausage and sail at dawn. ,Terry,Welcome to the wedding. 
Terry,Welcome to the wedding. ,Bender,Oy vey. 
Bender,Oy vey. ,LaBarbara,"Go on now, mon, don' cha' know nothin' about zippin' up a woman's frock? "
LaBarbara,"Go on now, mon, don' cha' know nothin' about zippin' up a woman's frock? ",Hermes,"Get your clumsy, muscular hands off my woman, Barbados. "
Hermes,"Get your clumsy, muscular hands off my woman, Barbados. ",LaBarbara,Hermes! Your body! 
LaBarbara,Hermes! Your body! ,Slim,I always said you were a little backward. 
Slim,I always said you were a little backward. ,Hermes,"Well, I always said you were a little forward ... with my wife. "
Hermes,"Well, I always said you were a little forward ... with my wife. ",Bystanders,ohhh! 
Bystanders,ohhh! ,Hermes,Consider yourself bird dogged. 
Hermes,Consider yourself bird dogged. ,LaBarbara,"That's my man. Take a boat, Barbados. "
LaBarbara,"That's my man. Take a boat, Barbados. ",Bubblegum,"Brother, you gots to tell that sweet thing your time duplicate body is doomed. "
Bubblegum,"Brother, you gots to tell that sweet thing your time duplicate body is doomed. ",Hermes,Tomorrow morning. After the festivities. 
Hermes,Tomorrow morning. After the festivities. ,Bubblegum,"Yow, baby! "
Bubblegum,"Yow, baby! ",Munda,Our little girl is finally getting married. And to a normal two eyed human. 
Munda,Our little girl is finally getting married. And to a normal two eyed human. ,Morris,"Eh, he's not good enough for her. Leela deserves a guy with a dozen eyes. "
Morris,"Eh, he's not good enough for her. Leela deserves a guy with a dozen eyes. ",Father,"Changstein-el-Gamahl: Dearly liked, we are gathered here before one or more gods, or fewer, to joining this couple in pretty good matrimony. If anyone objects to this union, let them speak now or forever hold their piece, or do something else. "
Father,"Changstein-el-Gamahl: Dearly liked, we are gathered here before one or more gods, or fewer, to joining this couple in pretty good matrimony. If anyone objects to this union, let them speak now or forever hold their piece, or do something else. ",Leroy,"It's been two years, Fry. We've caught a hundred and eight narwhals and set them all free again. "
Leroy,"It's been two years, Fry. We've caught a hundred and eight narwhals and set them all free again. ",Fry-2,None of them were Leelu. 
Fry-2,None of them were Leelu. ,Inuit,#1: But all of them were edible. 
Inuit,#1: But all of them were edible. ,Inuit,#2 Can we at least eat that one? I'm sick of sausage. 
Inuit,#2 Can we at least eat that one? I'm sick of sausage. ,Fry-2,I'd know that modified extended tooth anywhere. To the boats! 
Fry-2,I'd know that modified extended tooth anywhere. To the boats! ,Fry-2,"Leelu! Leelu! It's me, Fry."
Fry-2,"Leelu! Leelu! It's me, Fry.",Fry-2,"Oh, I've missed you too, Leelu. But we'll never be apart again because we care too much for each other. Fire!"
Fry-2,"Oh, I've missed you too, Leelu. But we'll never be apart again because we care too much for each other. Fire!",Father,"Changstein-el-Gamahl: Now, if the couple will sign the wedding license. "
Father,"Changstein-el-Gamahl: Now, if the couple will sign the wedding license. ",Farnsworth,I warned him. I warned him a time paradox duplicate is always doomed.
Farnsworth,I warned him. I warned him a time paradox duplicate is always doomed.,Lars,What? 
Lars,What? ,LaBarbara,"Oh, no, my man! He's essentially dead again. "
LaBarbara,"Oh, no, my man! He's essentially dead again. ",Dr.,Cahill: Relax ma'am. Your husband's original body will be repaired within one week. 
Dr.,Cahill: Relax ma'am. Your husband's original body will be repaired within one week. ,LaBarbara,Nah uh uh. Not soon enough. Boy needs a daddy. 
LaBarbara,Nah uh uh. Not soon enough. Boy needs a daddy. ,Slim,"Cruel runnings, mon. Dr. Cahill: Woopsy-doopsy, poopsy. "
Slim,"Cruel runnings, mon. Dr. Cahill: Woopsy-doopsy, poopsy. ",Hermes,"Well, let's get on with it. Don't let my doomed body and my doomed marriage stand in the way of your happiness. "
Hermes,"Well, let's get on with it. Don't let my doomed body and my doomed marriage stand in the way of your happiness. ",Lars,"No, it's not right. We don't want our happy day tainted by misfortune and tragedy, do we? "
Lars,"No, it's not right. We don't want our happy day tainted by misfortune and tragedy, do we? ",Leela,I'm OK with it. 
Leela,I'm OK with it. ,Lars,"No, it's not right. The wedding is off. "
Lars,"No, it's not right. The wedding is off. ",Fry,"Finally, a happy ending. "
Fry,"Finally, a happy ending. ",TV,Announcer And now it's time for Everybody Loves Hypnotoad. 
TV,Announcer And now it's time for Everybody Loves Hypnotoad. ,Zoidberg,"Even in a depression, the entertainment industry thrives. "
Zoidberg,"Even in a depression, the entertainment industry thrives. ",Fry,"Are you okay, Leela? "
Fry,"Are you okay, Leela? ",Leela,"Yeah, I'm just a little down 'cause the only man I'll ever love left me at the altar. Plus I live in a dumpster. "
Leela,"Yeah, I'm just a little down 'cause the only man I'll ever love left me at the altar. Plus I live in a dumpster. ",Zoidberg,You stay out of my dumpster! 
Zoidberg,You stay out of my dumpster! ,Announcer,We interrupt this episode of Everybody Loves Hypnotoad to bring you a special address from Earth President Nixon. 
Announcer,We interrupt this episode of Everybody Loves Hypnotoad to bring you a special address from Earth President Nixon. ,Announcer,"Please, Hypnotoad, it's beyond my control. No! Don't make me kill myseIf! "
Announcer,"Please, Hypnotoad, it's beyond my control. No! Don't make me kill myseIf! ",Nixon,"My fellow Earthicans, I'm about to close a deal that will allow us to buy Earth back from the scammers. "
Nixon,"My fellow Earthicans, I'm about to close a deal that will allow us to buy Earth back from the scammers. ",Bender,That'll teach those scammers and me. 
Bender,That'll teach those scammers and me. ,Nixon,"Just when things looked darkest, I received an e-mail from the Andrrrrrrromeda Galaxy. lt seems we've won their quadrillion-dollar family sweepstakes! "
Nixon,"Just when things looked darkest, I received an e-mail from the Andrrrrrrromeda Galaxy. lt seems we've won their quadrillion-dollar family sweepstakes! ",Leela,"Oh, Lord. "
Leela,"Oh, Lord. ",Nixon,"Baroo! There ... seems to have been some ... We've been scammed again, people. Prepare to evacuate Earth. I mean, New Scamadonia. "
Nixon,"Baroo! There ... seems to have been some ... We've been scammed again, people. Prepare to evacuate Earth. I mean, New Scamadonia. ","Nudar,","Fleb and Schlump: Na-na-na-na, Na-na-na-na, Hey, hey, hey, We took your stuff!, etc."
"Nudar,","Fleb and Schlump: Na-na-na-na, Na-na-na-na, Hey, hey, hey, We took your stuff!, etc.",Leela,All aboard for Neptune! 
Leela,All aboard for Neptune! ,Farnsworth,"Oh, I don't want to go to Neptune. "
Farnsworth,"Oh, I don't want to go to Neptune. ",Nudar,"Thanks for the planet, suckers. "
Nudar,"Thanks for the planet, suckers. ",Bender,"It's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency. "
Zoidberg,"Oh, Yetis. ",Leela,"Don't mess with me, you ice-crapping snow-honkies. I just got dumped. "
Leela,"Don't mess with me, you ice-crapping snow-honkies. I just got dumped. ",Hermes,"Sweet Yeti of the Serengeti, she's gone crazy eddie in the head-y. "
Hermes,"Sweet Yeti of the Serengeti, she's gone crazy eddie in the head-y. ",Inuit,#2: Is that normal? 
Inuit,#2: Is that normal? ,Inuit,#1: No. Perhaps if we were to cook and eat her slightly... 
Inuit,#1: No. Perhaps if we were to cook and eat her slightly... ,Fry-2,"Leave her alone. She just needs me to cheer her up. Wanna sword fight, girl? "
Fry-2,"Leave her alone. She just needs me to cheer her up. Wanna sword fight, girl? ",Fry-2,"That male narwhal seems to be upsetting her. Get us out of here, Captain. Full fast ahead. "
Fry-2,"That male narwhal seems to be upsetting her. Get us out of here, Captain. Full fast ahead. ",Leroy,Damn whale keepers. 
Leroy,Damn whale keepers. ,Leela,Santa! We forgot he's based on Neptune. 
Leela,Santa! We forgot he's based on Neptune. ,Santa,Ho. Ho. Ho... 
Santa,Ho. Ho. Ho... ,Fry,"What happened, Santa? "
Fry,"What happened, Santa? ",Santa,Can you imagine the harm they could do with that information? I wanted to do that harm! 
Santa,Can you imagine the harm they could do with that information? I wanted to do that harm! ,Leela,That's it. They've gone too far. It's time to fight back. 
Leela,That's it. They've gone too far. It's time to fight back. ,Santa,"Now, let's not resort to violence, Leela. "
Santa,"Now, let's not resort to violence, Leela. ",Leela,"We're fighting back and you're helping us, you fat holiday idiot. "
Leela,"We're fighting back and you're helping us, you fat holiday idiot. ",Santa,That hurt. You're on the naughty list! 
Santa,That hurt. You're on the naughty list! ,Leela,"So that's our proposal napkin, Mr. President. We have just enough people and ships to mount a ragtag attack. "
Leela,"So that's our proposal napkin, Mr. President. We have just enough people and ships to mount a ragtag attack. ",Nixon,"You wish, missy. Dog-danged scammers used our money to build a fleet of remote-controlled, solid-gold Death Stars. "
Nixon,"You wish, missy. Dog-danged scammers used our money to build a fleet of remote-controlled, solid-gold Death Stars. ",Bender,Ooh! I'd take one of those with a side of chili fries. 
Bender,Ooh! I'd take one of those with a side of chili fries. ,Nixon,"We're hopelessly outgunned. The Force is with us, but that's about it. "
Nixon,"We're hopelessly outgunned. The Force is with us, but that's about it. ",Santa,"Ah, but we have access to a huge manufacturing complex. "
Santa,"Ah, but we have access to a huge manufacturing complex. ",Kwanzabot,Kwanzabot 
Kwanzabot,Kwanzabot ,Chanukah,Zombie
Chanukah,Zombie,Neptunians,"Damn you!  Doo, doo, doodoo!"
Neptunians,"Damn you!  Doo, doo, doodoo!",Neptunians,"Says who? Doo, doo, doodoo!"
Neptunians,"Says who? Doo, doo, doodoo!",Neptunians,"Ten hut! Doo, doo, doodoo!"
Neptunians,"Ten hut! Doo, doo, doodoo!",Kwanzabot,"Santa: Yeah, K? "
Kwanzabot,"Santa: Yeah, K? ",Kwanzabot,CZ? 
Kwanzabot,CZ? ,Santa,Can they sue for liability? 
Santa,Can they sue for liability? ,Nixon,Certainly not! 
Nixon,Certainly not! ,Santa,Use as much as you are able. 
Santa,Use as much as you are able. ,Neptunians,"This bites. Doo, doo, doodoo!"
Neptunians,"This bites. Doo, doo, doodoo!",Leela,"Now, let's fight. "
Leela,"Now, let's fight. ",Nixon,Let's fight.
Nixon,Let's fight.,Neptunians,"Doo, doo, doodoo!"
Neptunians,"Doo, doo, doodoo!","Santa,",Chanukah Zombie and Kwanzabot: This trinity's going to war! 
"Santa,",Chanukah Zombie and Kwanzabot: This trinity's going to war! ,Leela,"Troops, you are now equipped with the finest weapons magical elves can build. As for the battle plan... "
Leela,"Troops, you are now equipped with the finest weapons magical elves can build. As for the battle plan... ",Nixon,"And now, to present the battle plan, Commander Zapp Brannigan! "
Nixon,"And now, to present the battle plan, Commander Zapp Brannigan! ",Leela,What? 
Leela,What? ,Zapp,"At ease, people. I was redecorating my undisclosed location when I received word of an heroic invasion. Kif, crouch down and shield my thighs from the cold, for God's sake. "
Zapp,"At ease, people. I was redecorating my undisclosed location when I received word of an heroic invasion. Kif, crouch down and shield my thighs from the cold, for God's sake. ",Zapp,"We fight this battle, not for ourselves, but for our children and our children's children. Which is why I'm forming a children's brigade. Will the following youths please step forward? Cubert Farnsworth. "
Zapp,"We fight this battle, not for ourselves, but for our children and our children's children. Which is why I'm forming a children's brigade. Will the following youths please step forward? Cubert Farnsworth. ",Cubert,"Here, sir! "
Cubert,"Here, sir! ",Farnsworth,"My boy. Oh, God, no! "
Farnsworth,"My boy. Oh, God, no! ",Zapp,Dwight Slim. 
Zapp,Dwight Slim. ,Dwight,Here. 
Dwight,Here. ,Hermes,"You took his name? Oh, God, no! In several ways! "
Hermes,"You took his name? Oh, God, no! In several ways! ",Zapp,"Assuming the 15th pile of children buys us a few seconds, we will then execute maneuver 45. Followed by maneuver 44. "
Zapp,"Assuming the 15th pile of children buys us a few seconds, we will then execute maneuver 45. Followed by maneuver 44. ",Kif,Forty-six. 
Kif,Forty-six. ,Zapp,"Oh, great. Now I have to start back at the beginning with maneuver two. "
Zapp,"Oh, great. Now I have to start back at the beginning with maneuver two. ",Kif,One. 
Kif,One. ,Lars,"Admiral, will we stop attacking at any point or is this one of those phony-baloney, feel-good wars like the war on drugs? "
Lars,"Admiral, will we stop attacking at any point or is this one of those phony-baloney, feel-good wars like the war on drugs? ",Zapp,"What's your name, smart mouth? "
Zapp,"What's your name, smart mouth? ",Lars,Lars Fillmore. 
Lars,Lars Fillmore. ,Zapp,"Ah, the lovely Leela's on-again, off-again paramour. Perhaps a suicide mission would knockthe insubordination out of you. "
Zapp,"Ah, the lovely Leela's on-again, off-again paramour. Perhaps a suicide mission would knockthe insubordination out of you. ",Leela,"Yes, yes, yes. "
Leela,"Yes, yes, yes. ",Kif,"We're approaching Earth, sir. "
Kif,"We're approaching Earth, sir. ",Leela,Does anybody mind if I take command? 
Leela,Does anybody mind if I take command? ,Nibbler,No. 
Nibbler,No. ,Sal,Nos. 
Sal,Nos. ,Bubblegum,Nah. 
Bubblegum,Nah. ,Al,Gore: Nope. 
Al,Gore: Nope. ,Cubert,"No, Miss Turanga. "
Cubert,"No, Miss Turanga. ",Donbot,"No, I do not. "
Donbot,"No, I do not. ",Santa,No. 
Santa,No. ,Kwanzabot,It's cool.
Kwanzabot,It's cool.,Chanukah,Zombie: Argh!
Chanukah,Zombie: Argh!,Leela,"All right. Unit one, acquire target A and fire! "
Leela,"All right. Unit one, acquire target A and fire! ",Fleb,Yes! Nailed the children's ship. 
Fleb,Yes! Nailed the children's ship. ,Farnsworth,Bingo! 
Farnsworth,Bingo! ,Hattie,Cheating son of a... 
Hattie,Cheating son of a... ,Al,Gore: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 
Al,Gore: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! ,Leela,It's hopeless! I can't coordinate this many ships! 
Leela,It's hopeless! I can't coordinate this many ships! ,Hermes,"Perhaps I can help! Professor, can you wire my head directly into the battle grid? "
Hermes,"Perhaps I can help! Professor, can you wire my head directly into the battle grid? ",Farnsworth,I can wire anything directly into anything. I'm the professor! 
Farnsworth,I can wire anything directly into anything. I'm the professor! ,Hermes,Then prepare to see a bureaucrat's brain in action. 
Hermes,Then prepare to see a bureaucrat's brain in action. ,Al,"Gore: Finally, I get to save the Earth with deadly lasers instead of deadly slide shows. "
Al,"Gore: Finally, I get to save the Earth with deadly lasers instead of deadly slide shows. ",Clamps,He's champing for a clamping! 
Clamps,He's champing for a clamping! ,Kwanzabot,Kwa-zang! 
Kwanzabot,Kwa-zang! ,Hermes,"I did it! I saved Earth and won back my woman. Right, woman? "
Hermes,"I did it! I saved Earth and won back my woman. Right, woman? ",LaBarbara,"Oh, Hermes, I've been such a fool. "
LaBarbara,"Oh, Hermes, I've been such a fool. ",Slim,"You haven't seen the last of Barbados Slim! Now, goodbye forever. "
Slim,"You haven't seen the last of Barbados Slim! Now, goodbye forever. ",Nudar,"Remember this, Farnsworth? "
Nudar,"Remember this, Farnsworth? ",Farnsworth,Farnsworth? That's me! My doomsday device! So it was the scammers! They sawed off my hand and stole the doomsday device. 
Farnsworth,Farnsworth? That's me! My doomsday device! So it was the scammers! They sawed off my hand and stole the doomsday device. ,Bender,"lt wasn't them. lt was me, Bender. The master criminal! "
Bender,"lt wasn't them. lt was me, Bender. The master criminal! ",Nudar,So what'll it be? - Unconditional surrender? 
Nudar,So what'll it be? - Unconditional surrender? ,Leela,Never! 
Leela,Never! ,Nudar,Or totaI destruction? 
Nudar,Or totaI destruction? ,Leela,Also never! 
Leela,Also never! ,Nudar,You have 30 seconds. Make up your minds! 
Nudar,You have 30 seconds. Make up your minds! ,Leela,Nevvveeeeer! 
Leela,Nevvveeeeer! ,Nudar,Uh-oh. I have a worrisome shriveling sensation in my sprunjer. 
Nudar,Uh-oh. I have a worrisome shriveling sensation in my sprunjer. ,Amy,Yay! Bender! 
Amy,Yay! Bender! ,Fry,All right! 
Fry,All right! ,Fry,"Bender, how the Hulk did you end up with the doomsday device? "
Fry,"Bender, how the Hulk did you end up with the doomsday device? ",Bender,"I was working the long con all along. While sawing off the professor's hand with an extremely dull saw, I had some time to think. So I asked myself, Who could use a doomsday device more? The scammers or me, Bender?. After several minutes of sawing, I knew the answer. Me, Bender. So I retrieved the dummy satchel ... "
Bender,"I was working the long con all along. While sawing off the professor's hand with an extremely dull saw, I had some time to think. So I asked myself, Who could use a doomsday device more? The scammers or me, Bender?. After several minutes of sawing, I knew the answer. Me, Bender. So I retrieved the dummy satchel ... ",Bender,"(VO) ... and as soon as I was out of the scammers' control, I pulled the old switcheroo. "
Bender,"(VO) ... and as soon as I was out of the scammers' control, I pulled the old switcheroo. ",Bender,And that's how I saved Earth and am the greatest! 
Bender,And that's how I saved Earth and am the greatest! ,Nixon,"Bender the robot, I'm proud to present you Earth's highest award for swindling. The Dirty Double-Cross. "
Nixon,"Bender the robot, I'm proud to present you Earth's highest award for swindling. The Dirty Double-Cross. ",Bender,I'll aways treasure it and immediately hock it. 
Bender,I'll aways treasure it and immediately hock it. ,Lars,"There, your body's good as new. Just pop in an executive suppository every few... "
Lars,"There, your body's good as new. Just pop in an executive suppository every few... ",Fry,What is it? 
Fry,What is it? ,Leela,Nothing. 
Leela,Nothing. ,Fry,"It's supposed to be a celebration, Leela. I mean, come on. Whimmy-wham-wham-whazle! "
Fry,"It's supposed to be a celebration, Leela. I mean, come on. Whimmy-wham-wham-whazle! ",Leela,I can't help it. I was gonna be married. I was so happy. 
Leela,I can't help it. I was gonna be married. I was so happy. ,Fry,"Well, maybe you'll meet someone else someday. "
Fry,"Well, maybe you'll meet someone else someday. ",Leela,"No, you don't understand. Lars is the only man I'll ever love. I know it in my heart. "
Leela,"No, you don't understand. Lars is the only man I'll ever love. I know it in my heart. ",Fry,You remember when we first met? 
Fry,You remember when we first met? ,Leela,"Uh-huh. lt was right there in the cryogenic lab, eight years ago today. "
Leela,"Uh-huh. lt was right there in the cryogenic lab, eight years ago today. ",Fry,Meet me there in five minutes. It's important. 
Fry,Meet me there in five minutes. It's important. ,Fry-2,"Why are you so sad, Leelu? "
Fry-2,"Why are you so sad, Leelu? ",Fry-2,"Wait a second, are you two... "
Fry-2,"Wait a second, are you two... ",Fry-2,"Atanarjuat, Fufu, come here! We have to set Leelu free. "
Fry-2,"Atanarjuat, Fufu, come here! We have to set Leelu free. ",Inuit,#2: Dang. I never should have quit my job at the casino. 
Inuit,#2: Dang. I never should have quit my job at the casino. ,Fry-2,"Me, neither. But she needs what'll make her happy, not what'll make me happy. "
Fry-2,"Me, neither. But she needs what'll make her happy, not what'll make me happy. ",Fry-2,"Goodbye, Leelu. "
Fry-2,"Goodbye, Leelu. ",Lars,"I don't much know about frozen heads, but, of course, if it's Mahatma Gandhi, I'll... Leela? "
Lars,"I don't much know about frozen heads, but, of course, if it's Mahatma Gandhi, I'll... Leela? ",Leela,Lars? 
Leela,Lars? ,Lars,"I... I really have to go, I... "
Lars,"I... I really have to go, I... ",Leela,"Fry, was this an idiotic trick to get Lars and me back together? "
Leela,"Fry, was this an idiotic trick to get Lars and me back together? ",Fry,"Quite idiotic. But you don't need to be an idiot to see that you two belong together. And, Leela,I want what'll make you happy, not what'll make me happy. "
Fry,"Quite idiotic. But you don't need to be an idiot to see that you two belong together. And, Leela,I want what'll make you happy, not what'll make me happy. ",Lars,"I'm sorry, I really am, but Leela and I just can't be married. "
Lars,"I'm sorry, I really am, but Leela and I just can't be married. ",Fry,"Why not? You obviously love each other. What are you, cousins? "
Fry,"Why not? You obviously love each other. What are you, cousins? ",Lars,"Fry, you deserve to know the truth. It's because... "
Lars,"Fry, you deserve to know the truth. It's because... ",Nudar,Nobody move! 
Nudar,Nobody move! ,Leela,Nudar! How did you survive the doom blast? 
Leela,Nudar! How did you survive the doom blast? ,Nudar,"My doom-proof platinum vest absorbed most of the radiation. In retrospect, I wish I'd been wearing doom-proof pants, but you know us nudists. Now give me the time code! "
Nudar,"My doom-proof platinum vest absorbed most of the radiation. In retrospect, I wish I'd been wearing doom-proof pants, but you know us nudists. Now give me the time code! ",Fry,I don't have it! Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt. 
Fry,I don't have it! Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt. ,Nudar,Not you. 
Nudar,Not you. ,Nudar,You! 
Nudar,You! ,Leela,Lars? He doesn't have it. He never had it. Fry had it! 
Leela,Lars? He doesn't have it. He never had it. Fry had it! ,Fry,But Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt! I want to stress that part! 
Fry,But Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt! I want to stress that part! ,Nudar,My throbbing sprunjer says otherwise. Now where is it? 
Nudar,My throbbing sprunjer says otherwise. Now where is it? ,Lars,I'm not afraid of you or your expensive gun! Go ahead and shoot! 
Lars,I'm not afraid of you or your expensive gun! Go ahead and shoot! ,Nudar,"Oh, yeah? Then what if I kill the woman you love? "
Nudar,"Oh, yeah? Then what if I kill the woman you love? ",Leela,"Don't you understand, numb-neck? He doesn't love me! "
Leela,"Don't you understand, numb-neck? He doesn't love me! ",Lars,I've... always loved you. Don't hurt her. I'll give you the code. 
Lars,I've... always loved you. Don't hurt her. I'll give you the code. ,Nudar,What the... 
Nudar,What the... ,Bender-2,Woah! 
Bender-2,Woah! ,Leela,"Lars, no! "
Leela,"Lars, no! ",Fry-2,It's enough just to know you're happy. 
Fry-2,It's enough just to know you're happy. ,Fry-2,"You, too. It's enough to know you're happy with Lars. "
Fry-2,"You, too. It's enough to know you're happy with Lars. ",Fry-2,My hair! 
Fry-2,My hair! ,Fry-2,My larynx! 
Fry-2,My larynx! ,Lars,I'm Lars?  I'm Lars! 
Lars,I'm Lars?  I'm Lars! ,Fry,"Wait for me, Leela! I'll be there in a thousand years. "
Fry,"Wait for me, Leela! I'll be there in a thousand years. ",Lars,"So I got a job at the Head Museum and waited for the wonderful day when Leela would arrive. Everything was perfect until Hermes exploded at our wedding. That's when I learned that, as a time paradox duplicate, I, too, was doomed. I couldn't put Leela through that. So I called it off. I'm sorry, Leela. "
Lars,"So I got a job at the Head Museum and waited for the wonderful day when Leela would arrive. Everything was perfect until Hermes exploded at our wedding. That's when I learned that, as a time paradox duplicate, I, too, was doomed. I couldn't put Leela through that. So I called it off. I'm sorry, Leela. ",Leela,I understand. 
Leela,I understand. ,Crazy,Guy: That concludes another Silly Willy Wideo Will! 
Crazy,Guy: That concludes another Silly Willy Wideo Will! ,Fry,"He was a good man, Leela. "
Fry,"He was a good man, Leela. ",Leela,Yeah... you were. 
Leela,Yeah... you were. ,Farnsworth,"Well, I guess that wraps everything up in a nice, paradox-free bow. "
Farnsworth,"Well, I guess that wraps everything up in a nice, paradox-free bow. ",Bubblegum,"Not quite, my wrinkly brother. "
Bubblegum,"Not quite, my wrinkly brother. ",Nibbler,"Right on! In order for any of this to make any sense at all, someone must make one final trip back in time to put the code on Fry's ass in the first place! "
Nibbler,"Right on! In order for any of this to make any sense at all, someone must make one final trip back in time to put the code on Fry's ass in the first place! ",Bender,"Sounds like a job for me, Bender. "
Bender,"Sounds like a job for me, Bender. ",Bender,"Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero... "
Bender,"Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero... ",Bender,Mission accomplished! 
Bender,Mission accomplished! ,Fry,You put the time code on my ass? 
Fry,You put the time code on my ass? ,Bender,"Someone's ass. Oh, and guess what? I met all these really cool guys with treasure down in the limestone cavern, so I invited them to stick around instead of coming up when they were logically supposed to. "
Bender,"Someone's ass. Oh, and guess what? I met all these really cool guys with treasure down in the limestone cavern, so I invited them to stick around instead of coming up when they were logically supposed to. ",Nibbler,No! No! Everyone out of the universe! Quick! 
Nibbler,No! No! Everyone out of the universe! Quick! ,Bender,What's the worst that can happen? 
Bender,What's the worst that can happen? ,Narrator,Previously on Futurama.
Narrator,Previously on Futurama.,Morbo,It has now been one month since space ripped open like flimsy human skin. Terrified earthlings are beginning to grow exhausted.
Morbo,It has now been one month since space ripped open like flimsy human skin. Terrified earthlings are beginning to grow exhausted.,Hermes,"Professor, sprinkle us with wisdom from your mighty brain. How scared should we be?"
Hermes,"Professor, sprinkle us with wisdom from your mighty brain. How scared should we be?",Professor,Somewhere between not at all and entirely.
Professor,Somewhere between not at all and entirely.,Morbo,"Scientists believe the rip is a gateway to another universe, but do not know what mysteries lie beyond. However, in this reporter's opinion gruesome death awaits us all!"
Morbo,"Scientists believe the rip is a gateway to another universe, but do not know what mysteries lie beyond. However, in this reporter's opinion gruesome death awaits us all!",Linda,"And now with sports, here's Sportsbot 5000."
Linda,"And now with sports, here's Sportsbot 5000.",Sportsbot,5000: All sports cancelled.
Sportsbot,5000: All sports cancelled.,Professor,"To better understand the anomaly, I will now focus its radiation on a giant medium-sized ant to see what happens."
Professor,"To better understand the anomaly, I will now focus its radiation on a giant medium-sized ant to see what happens.",Giant,medium-sized ant: What's going on here? I was told there would be sugar syrup.
Giant,medium-sized ant: What's going on here? I was told there would be sugar syrup.,Fry,"Oh, hey, everyone, this is Colleen."
Fry,"Oh, hey, everyone, this is Colleen.",ALL,Hello!
ALL,Hello!,Amy,I like your shoes.
Amy,I like your shoes.,Bender,This is awkward. Introducing your new girlfriend to Chesty McNag-nag.
Bender,This is awkward. Introducing your new girlfriend to Chesty McNag-nag.,Leela,"Oh, don't mind him. I'II turn him off."
Leela,"Oh, don't mind him. I'II turn him off.",Bender,"Hey, you can't (voice slowing)turn me off..."
Bender,"Hey, you can't (voice slowing)turn me off...",Leela,Hi. I'm Leela.
Leela,Hi. I'm Leela.,Colleen,"Hi, Leela, hi, everyone. Sorry I've been taking up so much of Fry's time. He's just so interesting. Have you seen how much cotton candy he can eat?"
Colleen,"Hi, Leela, hi, everyone. Sorry I've been taking up so much of Fry's time. He's just so interesting. Have you seen how much cotton candy he can eat?",Zoidberg,This lovey-dovey stuff is making me vomit from my saltwater and freshwater stomachs.
Zoidberg,This lovey-dovey stuff is making me vomit from my saltwater and freshwater stomachs.,Leela,It is pretty sickening.
Leela,It is pretty sickening.,Zoidberg,"No, the double-vomit is a sign of joy. Fry told me how he and Colleen first met."
Zoidberg,"No, the double-vomit is a sign of joy. Fry told me how he and Colleen first met.",Zoidberg,"So, how did you and Colleen first meet?"
Zoidberg,"So, how did you and Colleen first meet?",Fry,Well...
Fry,Well...,Fry,Something about seeing it on the Jumbotron makes it so much more real.
Fry,Something about seeing it on the Jumbotron makes it so much more real.,Colleen,It's so scary. What are you supposed to do when the whole universe is coming to an end?
Colleen,It's so scary. What are you supposed to do when the whole universe is coming to an end?,Bender,"This is gonna be juicy. What? Oh, man!"
Bender,"This is gonna be juicy. What? Oh, man!",Amy,"Speaking of sappy love... Want to tell them, Kiffy?"
Amy,"Speaking of sappy love... Want to tell them, Kiffy?",Kif,"Yes, Amy and I have a big announcement. I... That is, we... Oh, I'm just so excited."
Kif,"Yes, Amy and I have a big announcement. I... That is, we... Oh, I'm just so excited.",Zoidberg,Mazel tov!
Zoidberg,Mazel tov!,Professor,Wonderful!
Professor,Wonderful!,Hermes,What the hell does that mean?
Hermes,What the hell does that mean?,Kif,It means I've asked Amy to join my family. And you're all invited to my family swamp for our Fonfon Rubok ceremony.
Kif,It means I've asked Amy to join my family. And you're all invited to my family swamp for our Fonfon Rubok ceremony.,Amy,"If I had ever heard of it, it would have been what I had always dreamed of."
Amy,"If I had ever heard of it, it would have been what I had always dreamed of.",Kif,Oh! And our parents will be meeting for the first time ever.
Kif,Oh! And our parents will be meeting for the first time ever.,Kif,"Mr. And Mrs. Wong, aren't you excited that we're all about to be joined in a single family?"
Kif,"Mr. And Mrs. Wong, aren't you excited that we're all about to be joined in a single family?",Mr.,Wong: You can't borrow money.
Mr.,Wong: You can't borrow money.,Mrs.,Wong
Mrs.,Wong,Kif,"Mrs. Wong, no. The finial stage of my species' life cycle is a colony of flying hookworms. You just squashed part of my father."
Kif,"Mrs. Wong, no. The finial stage of my species' life cycle is a colony of flying hookworms. You just squashed part of my father.",Mr.,Kroker: Welcome.
Mr.,Kroker: Welcome.,Mrs.,"Wong: Sorry. I guess you got plenty of bugs to spare though, huh?"
Mrs.,"Wong: Sorry. I guess you got plenty of bugs to spare though, huh?",Mr.,Kroker: That was my left testicle.
Mr.,Kroker: That was my left testicle.,Bender,"And the awkward meter goes up another notch. Ding, ding, ding, ding ding..."
Bender,"And the awkward meter goes up another notch. Ding, ding, ding, ding ding...",Fry,"Wow, Colleen, you look so beautiful in the light of the swamp gas."
Fry,"Wow, Colleen, you look so beautiful in the light of the swamp gas.",Colleen,Thanks. This is really fun. I love going to exotic worlds and getting hammered.
Colleen,Thanks. This is really fun. I love going to exotic worlds and getting hammered.,Fry,"Me, too."
Fry,"Me, too.",Zapp,"Leela, I can't help but notice you're unescorted. Might I escort you behind that bush for the next five minutes?"
Zapp,"Leela, I can't help but notice you're unescorted. Might I escort you behind that bush for the next five minutes?",Leela,Nothing would revolt me more.
Leela,Nothing would revolt me more.,Zapp,Then how about that shrub?
Zapp,Then how about that shrub?,Kif,Ooh! Rubok is begun.
Kif,Ooh! Rubok is begun.,Grand,Midwife: I am the Grand Priestess.
Grand,Midwife: I am the Grand Priestess.,Fry,Aren't you also the Grand Midwife?
Fry,Aren't you also the Grand Midwife?,Grand,"Midwife: And the grand Lunch Lady. I work five jobs, all grand. Kif of the clan Kroker, please transcend the Rubok Etlon with your Fonfon Smizmar Ru."
Grand,"Midwife: And the grand Lunch Lady. I work five jobs, all grand. Kif of the clan Kroker, please transcend the Rubok Etlon with your Fonfon Smizmar Ru.",Kif,What?
Kif,What?,Grand,"Midwife As you become one with the ooze, so you become one with the clan Kroker."
Grand,"Midwife As you become one with the ooze, so you become one with the clan Kroker.",Amy,"Oh, Kif, it's like a movie with this happening in it."
Amy,"Oh, Kif, it's like a movie with this happening in it.",Grand,Midwife: Is the best man present?
Grand,Midwife: Is the best man present?,Zapp,Guilty as charged.
Zapp,Guilty as charged.,Grand,Midwife: Kindly hose the couple.
Grand,Midwife: Kindly hose the couple.,Grand,Midwife It's not part of the ceremony. I just had an extra snake. Rubok is complete. Throw the bouquet.
Grand,Midwife It's not part of the ceremony. I just had an extra snake. Rubok is complete. Throw the bouquet.,Bender,"Fry, run, run. Get over here, oh, my God, oh, my God!"
Bender,"Fry, run, run. Get over here, oh, my God, oh, my God!",Fry,What? What is it?
Fry,What? What is it?,Bender,Shut up already! Calculon's on TV!
Bender,Shut up already! Calculon's on TV!,Monique,"I beg you, Calculon, don't ring that door chime."
Monique,"I beg you, Calculon, don't ring that door chime.",Calculon,"I have no choice, Monique. Whoever the blackmailer is, he lives behind this hideous yet strangely familiar door."
Calculon,"I have no choice, Monique. Whoever the blackmailer is, he lives behind this hideous yet strangely familiar door.",Human,"Friend: Calculon residence. Oh, hello, Mr. Calculon."
Human,"Friend: Calculon residence. Oh, hello, Mr. Calculon.",Calculon,"Son of a bit. This is my house. But that means I'm blackmailing myself. Why didn't you tell me, Monique?"
Calculon,"Son of a bit. This is my house. But that means I'm blackmailing myself. Why didn't you tell me, Monique?",Monique,"I tried to, but I couldn’t. Oh, Calculon, I'm afraid you have a fourth personality the other three don't know about, and it and I are lovers!"
Monique,"I tried to, but I couldn’t. Oh, Calculon, I'm afraid you have a fourth personality the other three don't know about, and it and I are lovers!",Bender,"How's Calculon going to take this, Fry, especially after that humiliating tennis tournament? Fry?"
Bender,"How's Calculon going to take this, Fry, especially after that humiliating tennis tournament? Fry?",Fry,"Don't know, Bender. Tonight's my big date with Colleen. I got to run."
Fry,"Don't know, Bender. Tonight's my big date with Colleen. I got to run.",Bender,"But me and you like to watch together. Look, I got you a cabbage to snack on. Humans like cabbage, right?"
Bender,"But me and you like to watch together. Look, I got you a cabbage to snack on. Humans like cabbage, right?",Ride,"Barter Keep your hands in the car, shut up, and have fun."
Ride,"Barter Keep your hands in the car, shut up, and have fun.",Fry,"Wow, you even look beautiful in 2D."
Fry,"Wow, you even look beautiful in 2D.",Fry,"A really hot line segment. So, listen, sweetie pie, I was thinking maybe we should take this to the next step."
Fry,"A really hot line segment. So, listen, sweetie pie, I was thinking maybe we should take this to the next step.",Colleen,Really?
Colleen,Really?,Fry,Yes. Colleen...will you be moved in with by me?
Fry,Yes. Colleen...will you be moved in with by me?,Colleen,(SOFT GASP)
Colleen,(SOFT GASP),Amy,Way to go.
Amy,Way to go.,Zoidberg,"Hooray, hooray."
Zoidberg,"Hooray, hooray.",Leela,That's great.
Leela,That's great.,Bender,I could just curl up at the foot of the bed. (WHIMPERING)
Bender,I could just curl up at the foot of the bed. (WHIMPERING),Professor,"Listen up, everyone. I know you've all been extremely worried about the cosmic anomaly."
Professor,"Listen up, everyone. I know you've all been extremely worried about the cosmic anomaly.",Hermes,"The what? Oh, right."
Hermes,"The what? Oh, right.",Professor,But there's good news! We're all going to learn more about it at a scientific conference.
Professor,But there's good news! We're all going to learn more about it at a scientific conference.,Man,walking on screen: ...like a city made of marshmallow.
Man,walking on screen: ...like a city made of marshmallow.,Stephen,Hawking's head: Welcome. I am the pickled head of Stephen Hawking on a way-cool rocket.
Stephen,Hawking's head: Welcome. I am the pickled head of Stephen Hawking on a way-cool rocket.,Leela,(embarrassed)
Leela,(embarrassed),Stephen,Hawking: You should have.
Stephen,Hawking: You should have.,Stephen,"Hawking: In conclusion, I understand nothing about the anomaly, even after cashing the huge check I got for writing a book about it."
Stephen,"Hawking: In conclusion, I understand nothing about the anomaly, even after cashing the huge check I got for writing a book about it.",Professor,"(standing up): I know this anomaly is terrifying. But as scientists, is it not our sworn duty to seek out knowledge, even at the cost of our very lives?"
Professor,"(standing up): I know this anomaly is terrifying. But as scientists, is it not our sworn duty to seek out knowledge, even at the cost of our very lives?",Stephen,Hawking: No.
Stephen,Hawking: No.,Farnsworth,I say we must mount an expedition to the anomaly forthwith.
Farnsworth,I say we must mount an expedition to the anomaly forthwith.,Wernstrom,I agree.
Wernstrom,I agree.,Professor,Wernstrom!
Professor,Wernstrom!,Professor,Don't listen to that crackpot!
Professor,Don't listen to that crackpot!,Wernstrom,But I'm agreeing with you.
Wernstrom,But I'm agreeing with you.,Wernstrom,I volunteer to lead the expedition. I have a squad of graduate students eager to risk their lives for a letter of recommendation.
Wernstrom,I volunteer to lead the expedition. I have a squad of graduate students eager to risk their lives for a letter of recommendation.,Professor,Your squad sucks bosons! My team is twice as qualified and three times as expendable.
Professor,Your squad sucks bosons! My team is twice as qualified and three times as expendable.,The,PE Crew (standing up): Yeah!
The,PE Crew (standing up): Yeah!,Wernstrom,"Oh, tough talk for someone with only one Fields Medal."
Wernstrom,"Oh, tough talk for someone with only one Fields Medal.",Crowd,Ooh!
Crowd,Ooh!,Stephen,Hawking: Ooh!
Stephen,Hawking: Ooh!,Professor,"Wernstrom, I ought to..."
Professor,"Wernstrom, I ought to...",Stephen,Hawking: I didn't know I could do that. Now quiet down and settle this like men of science.
Stephen,Hawking: I didn't know I could do that. Now quiet down and settle this like men of science.,Professor,(sitting down): Very well.
Professor,(sitting down): Very well.,Professor,(VO): Let Deathball begin!
Professor,(VO): Let Deathball begin!,Farnsworth,"Go, Planet Express!"
Farnsworth,"Go, Planet Express!",Wernstrom,"Go even more, my team!"
Colleen,(with two beers in her hands): Woo hoo! Bust those balls!,Leela,"Come on, Bender! Your grandmother could push harder than that!"
Leela,"Come on, Bender! Your grandmother could push harder than that!",Bender,No crap. My grandmother was a bulldozer.
Bender,No crap. My grandmother was a bulldozer.,Bender,And thus metal man defeated meat man. The end.
Bender,And thus metal man defeated meat man. The end.,Colleen,"Come here, winner!"
Colleen,"Come here, winner!",Colleen,(looking at one of Wernstrom players)
Colleen,(looking at one of Wernstrom players),Fry,"(confused): Colleen, what are you doing? My face is over here."
Fry,"(confused): Colleen, what are you doing? My face is over here.",Colleen,"This is my boyfriend, silly!"
Colleen,"This is my boyfriend, silly!",Fry,(confused): I thought I was your boyfriend.
Fry,(confused): I thought I was your boyfriend.,Colleen,You are.
Colleen,You are.,Fry,"(confused): Well, how can you have two boyfriends?"
Fry,"(confused): Well, how can you have two boyfriends?",Colleen,"Fry, meet Chu, Bolt, Ndulu, and Shlomo."
Colleen,"Fry, meet Chu, Bolt, Ndulu, and Shlomo.",Chu,Nihow.
Chu,Nihow.,Ndulu,Greetings.
Ndulu,Greetings.,Bolt,Pleasure.
Bolt,Pleasure.,Fry,But... But...
Fry,But... But...,Colleen,Shlomo and Ndulu will help you move your stuff into my apartment tonight.
Colleen,Shlomo and Ndulu will help you move your stuff into my apartment tonight.,Ndulu,"Welcome to the relationship, buddy!"
Ndulu,"Welcome to the relationship, buddy!",Chu,There's my butterscotch.
Chu,There's my butterscotch.,Farnsworth,"Congratulations, Deathballers! We've won the right to explore the anomaly!"
Farnsworth,"Congratulations, Deathballers! We've won the right to explore the anomaly!",Zoidberg,What? I thought I was playing for my freedom!
Zoidberg,What? I thought I was playing for my freedom!,Farnsworth,"Now, I've often said good news when sending you on a mission of extreme danger. So when I say this anomaly is dangerous, you can imagine how dangerous I really think it is."
Farnsworth,"Now, I've often said good news when sending you on a mission of extreme danger. So when I say this anomaly is dangerous, you can imagine how dangerous I really think it is.",Hermes,Not dangerous at all?
Hermes,Not dangerous at all?,Farnsworth,"Actually, quite dangerous indeed."
Farnsworth,"Actually, quite dangerous indeed.",Hermes,That is quite dangerous!
Hermes,That is quite dangerous!,Farnsworth,Indeed. Now stop shilly-shallying! Prep the ship and line up for your pre-flight coffee enemas!
Farnsworth,Indeed. Now stop shilly-shallying! Prep the ship and line up for your pre-flight coffee enemas!,Fry,"I don't know what to do, Leela. Should I move in with Colleen and her four other boyfriends?"
Fry,"I don't know what to do, Leela. Should I move in with Colleen and her four other boyfriends?",Leela,What are you going to do? Sleep in a big pile like hamsters?
Leela,What are you going to do? Sleep in a big pile like hamsters?,Fry,No! It's not like that. Everyone gets his own room and a shelf in the refrigerator.
Fry,No! It's not like that. Everyone gets his own room and a shelf in the refrigerator.,Zoidberg,"(walking by): Take the deal, Fry! If there's a delicious cake, isn't it better to have one slice than none at all? Even if four other guys eat the other four slices, and they're all thrusting their sweaty naked bodies against the cake?"
Zoidberg,"(walking by): Take the deal, Fry! If there's a delicious cake, isn't it better to have one slice than none at all? Even if four other guys eat the other four slices, and they're all thrusting their sweaty naked bodies against the cake?",Amy,(with Kif)
Amy,(with Kif),Fry,Yeah. I do love her.
Fry,Yeah. I do love her.,Kif,(high pitched voice)
Kif,(high pitched voice),Farnsworth,Whoa!
Farnsworth,Whoa!,Enema,Bot: Double espresso for Philip Fry?
Enema,Bot: Double espresso for Philip Fry?,Fry,"(standing up): Sorry, I'm not going on the mission. I'm moving in with Colleen!"
Fry,"(standing up): Sorry, I'm not going on the mission. I'm moving in with Colleen!",Kif,"Good for you, Fry."
Kif,"Good for you, Fry.",Zoidberg,Hooray!
Zoidberg,Hooray!,Amy,Alright!
Amy,Alright!,Colleen,Welcome to your new home!
Colleen,Welcome to your new home!,Fry,I'm just happy to be here with you.
Fry,I'm just happy to be here with you.,Ndulu,Want a slice of delicious cake?
Ndulu,Want a slice of delicious cake?,Bender(VO),(Gasps) The anomaly!
Bender(VO),(Gasps) The anomaly!,Amy,It's so anomalous.
Amy,It's so anomalous.,Hermes,I'm feeling dread deep in my dreads!
Hermes,I'm feeling dread deep in my dreads!,Farnsworth,Wernstrom!
Farnsworth,Wernstrom!,Wernstrom,"Yes, and I'm afraid I have disturbing news about the anomaly. You see..."
Wernstrom,"Yes, and I'm afraid I have disturbing news about the anomaly. You see...",Farnsworth,"How did you get this number? Hermes, hang up on him in the rudest possible manner."
Farnsworth,"How did you get this number? Hermes, hang up on him in the rudest possible manner.",Hermes,(saluting Farnsworth)
Hermes,(saluting Farnsworth),Colleen,"I've got good wine, five sweethearts, and today, I was promoted to Chief of Police."
Colleen,"I've got good wine, five sweethearts, and today, I was promoted to Chief of Police.",Fry,(toasting Colleen): Here's to you.
Fry,(toasting Colleen): Here's to you.,Chu,Me?
Chu,Me?,Fry,"No, Colleen. I'm making a romantic toast."
Fry,"No, Colleen. I'm making a romantic toast.",Chu,Sorry.
Chu,Sorry.,Fry,You have the most beautiful eyes I think I...
Fry,You have the most beautiful eyes I think I...,Ndulu,Thank you.
Ndulu,Thank you.,Fry,I'm not talking to you!
Fry,I'm not talking to you!,Ndulu,"Then I am not talking to you, either."
Ndulu,"Then I am not talking to you, either.",Schlomo,Will everyone be quiet a little? I want to hear what he has to say!
Schlomo,Will everyone be quiet a little? I want to hear what he has to say!,Fry,Thank you.
Fry,Thank you.,Schlomo,"Not you, you Verstinkener. You're just here 'cause she likes cave men from the stupid ages."
Schlomo,"Not you, you Verstinkener. You're just here 'cause she likes cave men from the stupid ages.",Bolt,"Oh, look who's talking. You're just here 'cause she got matzoh fever."
Bolt,"Oh, look who's talking. You're just here 'cause she got matzoh fever.",Ndulu,"So, what's the explanation for you, moron fever? (laughs)"
Ndulu,"So, what's the explanation for you, moron fever? (laughs)",Colleen,"Enough! All of you! I love you. Most people in this world don't have what we have. Let's just be grateful, okay?"
Colleen,"Enough! All of you! I love you. Most people in this world don't have what we have. Let's just be grateful, okay?",ALL,Yeah.
ALL,Yeah.,Chu,"Yeah, you're right."
Chu,"Yeah, you're right.",Fry,"So, Colleen, you look really nice."
Fry,"So, Colleen, you look really nice.",Colleen,There he is. Don't wait up!
Colleen,There he is. Don't wait up!,Fry,(angrily)
Fry,(angrily),Ndulu,Me?
Ndulu,Me?,Bender,(stammering) What's everybody looking at me for?
Bender,(stammering) What's everybody looking at me for?,Bender,Let's send a robot to explore it. 'Cause you can always buy another one for 20 bucks.
Bender,Let's send a robot to explore it. 'Cause you can always buy another one for 20 bucks.,Leela,Really?
Leela,Really?,Bender,"Well, it's 30 bucks, and there's a $10-mail-in rebate. When the League of Robots hears about this, they won't be pleased. Oh, you'll pay, my darlings."
Bender,"Well, it's 30 bucks, and there's a $10-mail-in rebate. When the League of Robots hears about this, they won't be pleased. Oh, you'll pay, my darlings.",Hermes,"The League of Robots doesn't exist, tin mon. It's just a cartoon for babies."
Hermes,"The League of Robots doesn't exist, tin mon. It's just a cartoon for babies.",Bender,Answer that with your precious logic.
Bender,Answer that with your precious logic.,Bender,(within inches of the anomaly)
Bender,(within inches of the anomaly),Bender,So that's what happened.
Bender,So that's what happened.,Amy,"Hey, Bender! Look who's here to cheer you up."
Amy,"Hey, Bender! Look who's here to cheer you up.",Bender,I don't need cheering up. I'm perfectly...
Bender,I don't need cheering up. I'm perfectly...,Calculon,"(entering the room): Greetings, sick fan."
Calculon,"(entering the room): Greetings, sick fan.",Bender,(Gasps) TV's Calculon! (He coughs)
Bender,(Gasps) TV's Calculon! (He coughs),Calculon,"Ordinarily, to see acting like that, you'd have to sit through a tampon commercial."
Calculon,"Ordinarily, to see acting like that, you'd have to sit through a tampon commercial.",Colleen,"(sobbing): Where did we go wrong, Fry? We were meant to be together!"
Colleen,"(sobbing): Where did we go wrong, Fry? We were meant to be together!",Schlomo,"Nu, I'm freezing my tokhes off here."
Schlomo,"Nu, I'm freezing my tokhes off here.",Colleen,"(happily): Just a sec, honey!"
Colleen,"(happily): Just a sec, honey!",Bender,I finally know what I want to be when I grow up.
Bender,I finally know what I want to be when I grow up.,Hermes,You want to co-star in his TV show? Like that time you already did that?
Hermes,You want to co-star in his TV show? Like that time you already did that?,Bender,No. I'm gonna be a stalker!
Bender,No. I'm gonna be a stalker!,Leela,That's not really a career. More of a felony.
Leela,That's not really a career. More of a felony.,Bender,Ooh! Big news on the Calculon fan site! There's a flash mob headed for his plastic surgeon's office!
Bender,Ooh! Big news on the Calculon fan site! There's a flash mob headed for his plastic surgeon's office!,Plastic,"Surgeon: There, that's as big as I can make it. But I caution you, it looks completely unrealistic."
Plastic,"Surgeon: There, that's as big as I can make it. But I caution you, it looks completely unrealistic.",Calculon,You let me worry about that! Just do your job.
Calculon,You let me worry about that! Just do your job.,Man,Get a shot of that.
Man,Get a shot of that.,Fatbot,(standing outside Robot Plastic Surgery)
Fatbot,(standing outside Robot Plastic Surgery),Crazed,"Fan: Calculon, I love you! Have my baby!"
Crazed,"Fan: Calculon, I love you! Have my baby!",Crazed,Fan: He touched me!
Crazed,Fan: He touched me!,Farnsworth,"(sniffing)(VO) Leela, smell this."
Farnsworth,"(sniffing)(VO) Leela, smell this.",Leela,Can I wipe it off first?
Leela,Can I wipe it off first?,Farnsworth,"No time, woman! No time!"
Farnsworth,"No time, woman! No time!",Leela,(sniffing)
Leela,(sniffing),Farnsworth,"Exactly! That's a discontinuous electromagnetic field. Wernstrom tried to warn me, but I was too damn stubborn! Hermes, get Wernstrom on the line so I can apologize."
Farnsworth,"Exactly! That's a discontinuous electromagnetic field. Wernstrom tried to warn me, but I was too damn stubborn! Hermes, get Wernstrom on the line so I can apologize.",Wernstrom,Ogden Wernstrom speaking.
Wernstrom,Ogden Wernstrom speaking.,Farnsworth,(whispering): Tell him I'm not here!
Farnsworth,(whispering): Tell him I'm not here!,Leela,Professor!
Leela,Professor!,Farnsworth,"Oh, very well. Wernstrom, I've been a vainglorious fool! If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, your tiny little heart, would you consider a scientific collaboration?"
Farnsworth,"Oh, very well. Wernstrom, I've been a vainglorious fool! If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, your tiny little heart, would you consider a scientific collaboration?",Wernstrom,Observe.
Wernstrom,Observe.,Pocket,Pal: Play time is fun time.
Pocket,Pal: Play time is fun time.,Wernstrom,(while hurling the robot into the anomaly): Not this time.
Wernstrom,(while hurling the robot into the anomaly): Not this time.,Farnsworth,"My heavens! If only I'd heeded your warning, I'd have known it was impossible to cross the barrier!"
Farnsworth,"My heavens! If only I'd heeded your warning, I'd have known it was impossible to cross the barrier!",Wernstrom,(while opening a barrel labelled Lab Animals)
Wernstrom,(while opening a barrel labelled Lab Animals),Farnsworth,"So living beings can enter the other universe, but electrical devices can't?"
Farnsworth,"So living beings can enter the other universe, but electrical devices can't?",Wernstrom,My hypothesis exactly.
Wernstrom,My hypothesis exactly.,Farnsworth,Then we must mount a second expedition without delay. Right after we blow up more robots.
Farnsworth,Then we must mount a second expedition without delay. Right after we blow up more robots.,Wernstrom,Agreed.
Wernstrom,Agreed.,Farnsworth,fun time.
Farnsworth,fun time.,Calculon,Who are you?
Calculon,Who are you?,Bender,"Bender, your biggest fan."
Bender,"Bender, your biggest fan.",Calculon,Are you going to murder me?
Calculon,Are you going to murder me?,Calculon,"Sir, your derangement is impressive. I'm appointing you my official stalker."
Calculon,"Sir, your derangement is impressive. I'm appointing you my official stalker.",Farnsworth,"Now that I've teamed up with my friend, Dr. (spiteful tone) Wernstrom, (normal tone) I feel certain we can successfully penetrate the other universe."
Farnsworth,"Now that I've teamed up with my friend, Dr. (spiteful tone) Wernstrom, (normal tone) I feel certain we can successfully penetrate the other universe.",Wernstrom,It's the greatest scientific opportunity since you yourself sent men to the moon in 1969.
Wernstrom,It's the greatest scientific opportunity since you yourself sent men to the moon in 1969.,Nixon,I always regretted that. Nothing up there but dry rocks and those revolting onion men.
Nixon,I always regretted that. Nothing up there but dry rocks and those revolting onion men.,Farnsworth,But...
Farnsworth,But...,Nixon,"You East Coast intellectuals had your chance. Now beat it! From here on in, this is a military matter."
Nixon,"You East Coast intellectuals had your chance. Now beat it! From here on in, this is a military matter.",Nixon,"People of the universe, please welcome Rear Brigadier Zapp Brannigan."
Nixon,"People of the universe, please welcome Rear Brigadier Zapp Brannigan.",Zapp,"(To crowd) Ever since man first left his cave and met a stranger with a different language and a new way of looking at things, the human race has had a dream. To kill him, so we don't have to learn his language or his new way of looking at things."
Zapp,"(To crowd) Ever since man first left his cave and met a stranger with a different language and a new way of looking at things, the human race has had a dream. To kill him, so we don't have to learn his language or his new way of looking at things.",Wernstrom,Give science a chance!
Wernstrom,Give science a chance!,Farnsworth,"Less invasions, more equations!"
Farnsworth,"Less invasions, more equations!",Nixon,"Damn long-hairs. Knock some sense into them, Chief O'Hallahan."
Nixon,"Damn long-hairs. Knock some sense into them, Chief O'Hallahan.",Fry,"(sobbing): I can't take it, Leela. I need to go away. Far away, forever."
Fry,"(sobbing): I can't take it, Leela. I need to go away. Far away, forever.",Leela,"Aw, I know how you feel, Fry. There are times when I also feel like you need to go away."
Leela,"Aw, I know how you feel, Fry. There are times when I also feel like you need to go away.",Amy,"Be careful, my little, teeny, greeny weenie."
Amy,"Be careful, my little, teeny, greeny weenie.",Zapp,"(grabbing/covering his groin): That's just a fungal infection... Oh, she's talking to you, Kif."
Zapp,"(grabbing/covering his groin): That's just a fungal infection... Oh, she's talking to you, Kif.",Bender,"(to Calculon): Wow, how come humans get to do all the fun stuff? This is exactly the sort of thing that ought to be handled by (whispering) The League of Robots."
Bender,"(to Calculon): Wow, how come humans get to do all the fun stuff? This is exactly the sort of thing that ought to be handled by (whispering) The League of Robots.",Calculon,"(He laughs.) That's adorable, Bender. You actually believe in the League of Robots?"
Calculon,"(He laughs.) That's adorable, Bender. You actually believe in the League of Robots?",Bender,"You mean, there's really no such thing? Then who's there to mete out justice when an outdated robot is melted into belt buckles? Who's there to defend our honour when a rude human brings a blush to a robo-virgin's cheek?"
Bender,"You mean, there's really no such thing? Then who's there to mete out justice when an outdated robot is melted into belt buckles? Who's there to defend our honour when a rude human brings a blush to a robo-virgin's cheek?",Calculon,No one.
Calculon,No one.,Bender,Oh.
Bender,Oh.,Bender,"(VO): Now that I know robots are worthless, with no League of Robots to protect us from the fleshy menace known as man, I have resolved to kill myself. In lieu of flowers, please beat yourselves in the face with rusty chains. Your friend, Bender."
Bender,"(VO): Now that I know robots are worthless, with no League of Robots to protect us from the fleshy menace known as man, I have resolved to kill myself. In lieu of flowers, please beat yourselves in the face with rusty chains. Your friend, Bender.",Zoidberg,Ow.
Zoidberg,Ow.,Suicide,Booth: Please select mode of death.
Suicide,Booth: Please select mode of death.,Bender,"Clumsy bludgeoning, please."
Bender,"Clumsy bludgeoning, please.",Suicide,"Booth: You have selected clumsy bludgeoning. For an additional $10, would you like your eyes scooped out with a melon-baller?"
Suicide,"Booth: You have selected clumsy bludgeoning. For an additional $10, would you like your eyes scooped out with a melon-baller?",Bender,"What the heck, I'll treat myself."
Bender,"What the heck, I'll treat myself.",Zapp,Enemy in range. Prepare to launch universe-to-universe missile.
Zapp,Enemy in range. Prepare to launch universe-to-universe missile.,Zapp,"Hell of a thing to send a universe to certain doom. Fun, though. Makes a man feel big."
Zapp,"Hell of a thing to send a universe to certain doom. Fun, though. Makes a man feel big.",Bender,"(tapping his foot): Come on, come on, I didn't ask to die of boredom!"
Bender,"(tapping his foot): Come on, come on, I didn't ask to die of boredom!",Suicide,Booth
Suicide,Booth,Bender,What's... What's happening?
Bender,What's... What's happening?,Hooded,Robot: Kneel before the candle.
Hooded,Robot: Kneel before the candle.,Bender,Don't hurt me! I'll betray anyone!
Bender,Don't hurt me! I'll betray anyone!,Hooded,Robot: Bender Bending Rodriguez...
Hooded,Robot: Bender Bending Rodriguez...,Calculon,Welcome to the League of Robots!
Calculon,Welcome to the League of Robots!,Francine,Missile jam. Missile jam.
Francine,Missile jam. Missile jam.,Zapp,"I heard you the first time, Francine."
Zapp,"I heard you the first time, Francine.",Francine,Sorry.
Francine,Sorry.,Calculon,"Tell us, Bender. Are you worthy of membership in the League?"
Calculon,"Tell us, Bender. Are you worthy of membership in the League?",Bender,Worthier than the average robot.
Bender,Worthier than the average robot.,Calculon,Upon each step is a test.
Calculon,Upon each step is a test.,Bender,"Okay, but if it's culturally biased, I'm suing your ass."
Bender,"Okay, but if it's culturally biased, I'm suing your ass.",British,"Robot: Quite right, quite so."
British,"Robot: Quite right, quite so.",ALL,Drink the mug! Drink the mug!
ALL,Drink the mug! Drink the mug!,ALL,Hurray!
ALL,Hurray!,Hedonism,Bot: The test of the flagon!
Hedonism,Bot: The test of the flagon!,ALL,Drink the flagon! Drink the flagon!
ALL,Drink the flagon! Drink the flagon!,Bender,Are all the tests going to involve drinking?
Bender,Are all the tests going to involve drinking?,Calculon,"It never occurred to me before, but yes."
Calculon,"It never occurred to me before, but yes.",Zapp,"Ready yet, Kif?"
Zapp,"Ready yet, Kif?",Kif,"(tinkering with the missile, legs hanging out of the missile bay)"
Kif,"(tinkering with the missile, legs hanging out of the missile bay)",Billionaire,Bot
Billionaire,Bot,Fender,"That's right, baby!"
Fender,"That's right, baby!",Bender,Hot diggity daffodil!
Bender,Hot diggity daffodil!,Fry,"And so, to everyone and everything I've ever known, I say my last goodbye."
Fry,"And so, to everyone and everything I've ever known, I say my last goodbye.",Kif,"Hello. So, how are you, Fry?"
Kif,"Hello. So, how are you, Fry?",Fry,Pretty good. You?
Fry,Pretty good. You?,Kif,Well... Oh.
Kif,Well... Oh.,Amy,(sobbing): At least Kiffy died quickly.
Amy,(sobbing): At least Kiffy died quickly.,Hermes,"Yes, but according to the Old Farmer's Wikipedia, the amazing thing about Kif's species is that the remains continue suffering for up to six hours after death."
Hermes,"Yes, but according to the Old Farmer's Wikipedia, the amazing thing about Kif's species is that the remains continue suffering for up to six hours after death.",Amy,(sobbing): That's so interesting!
Amy,(sobbing): That's so interesting!,Bender,"Don't ask where I was last night. For all you know, I was at home, perhaps baking a strudel. What's her problem? Somebody die or something?"
Bender,"Don't ask where I was last night. For all you know, I was at home, perhaps baking a strudel. What's her problem? Somebody die or something?",Leela,"Kif's dead, Bender."
Leela,"Kif's dead, Bender.",Bender,Nailed it!
Bender,Nailed it!,Mrs.,"Wong: We so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Kroker. Terrible shame about Froggy."
Mrs.,"Wong: We so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Kroker. Terrible shame about Froggy.",Mrs.,Kroker: Thank you for your kind words.
Mrs.,Kroker: Thank you for your kind words.,Mr.,Wong
Mr.,Wong,Bender,This is from the league of you-don't-need-to-know.
Bender,This is from the league of you-don't-need-to-know.,Grand,Midwife: I am the grand funeral director!
Grand,Midwife: I am the grand funeral director!,Zoidberg,Do you validate parking?
Zoidberg,Do you validate parking?,Grand,Midwife
Grand,Midwife,Leela,Whack the bottle!
Leela,Whack the bottle!,Hermes,"No, from the bottom ! It works better!"
Hermes,"No, from the bottom ! It works better!",Amy,(sobbing): Just stick a butter knife in it!
Amy,(sobbing): Just stick a butter knife in it!,Grand,"Midwife There, I got most of it. The burial is complete. I will now sing the sacred hymn. It's not part of the ceremony, just a little something that I wrote."
Grand,"Midwife There, I got most of it. The burial is complete. I will now sing the sacred hymn. It's not part of the ceremony, just a little something that I wrote.",Bender,(interrupting the song): Next!
Bender,(interrupting the song): Next!,Amy,"It may sound strange, but seeing Kif's mutilated remains poured into the mud made me really sad."
Amy,"It may sound strange, but seeing Kif's mutilated remains poured into the mud made me really sad.",Leela,Mutilation is never easy.
Leela,Mutilation is never easy.,Amy,(crying): I don't think I'll ever love again.
Amy,(crying): I don't think I'll ever love again.,Leela,"Oh, you don't mean that. Love can surprise you at any time in your life."
Leela,"Oh, you don't mean that. Love can surprise you at any time in your life.",Farnsworth,Regular or conjugal?
Farnsworth,Regular or conjugal?,URL,She looked like a freak to me.
URL,She looked like a freak to me.,Farnsworth,I don't understand. Are you winking or blinking?
Farnsworth,I don't understand. Are you winking or blinking?,Leela,Hang on a second.
Leela,Hang on a second.,Farnsworth,Got it!
Farnsworth,Got it!,Bender,"Ahh, yes, I'm here to repair my horse."
Bender,"Ahh, yes, I'm here to repair my horse.",Shop,Owner: Is the horse's name (whispers) Hot Beans?
Shop,Owner: Is the horse's name (whispers) Hot Beans?,Bender,"No! I mean, yes."
Bender,"No! I mean, yes.",British,"Robot: So it seems a human had been rather injured by a knife, and as his... As his blood, you know, I think that's what they call it..."
British,"Robot: So it seems a human had been rather injured by a knife, and as his... As his blood, you know, I think that's what they call it...",Calculon,"Quite correct, sir. Blather on!"
Calculon,"Quite correct, sir. Blather on!",British,"Robot but he was unable to complete his thought, you see, being as he had died. So, taking him at his word, we dragged his corpse to the waterfront, whereupon the seagulls fed upon it."
British,"Robot but he was unable to complete his thought, you see, being as he had died. So, taking him at his word, we dragged his corpse to the waterfront, whereupon the seagulls fed upon it.",Bender,Humans are dumb and they die easy!
Bender,Humans are dumb and they die easy!,Hedonism,Bot: Quite!
Hedonism,Bot: Quite!,Billionaire,"Bot Cost me a king's ransom. Made from a king, don't you know!"
Billionaire,"Bot Cost me a king's ransom. Made from a king, don't you know!",Hedonism,"Bot: Oh, how repulsively decadent!"
Hedonism,"Bot: Oh, how repulsively decadent!",Billionaire,"Bot: Yes. But more importantly, it allows me to see the smiling faces of my children for the first time since I lost my vision in that horrible banking accident."
Billionaire,"Bot: Yes. But more importantly, it allows me to see the smiling faces of my children for the first time since I lost my vision in that horrible banking accident.",Hedonism,Bot: I say!
Hedonism,Bot: I say!,Billionaire,Bot: I'm blind!
Billionaire,Bot: I'm blind!,Calculon,"My God, Bender! This is a civilized organization! The rules specifically..."
Calculon,"My God, Bender! This is a civilized organization! The rules specifically...",Bender,"May I make a point of order, President Calculon?"
Bender,"May I make a point of order, President Calculon?",Calculon,Must you?
Calculon,Must you?,Bender,Yes.
Bender,Yes.,Bender,"The bylaws specifically state that no human may set foot in the League of Robots! If he has a human part, he's part human!"
Bender,"The bylaws specifically state that no human may set foot in the League of Robots! If he has a human part, he's part human!",Hedonism,"Bot: Oh, my! Then I too have a human part I must expel. And I plan to enjoy the experience. Ta-ta !"
Hedonism,"Bot: Oh, my! Then I too have a human part I must expel. And I plan to enjoy the experience. Ta-ta !",British,"Robot: Bender, you've rigidly applied the law with no regard for its intent. Well done! You'll go far in this organization."
British,"Robot: Bender, you've rigidly applied the law with no regard for its intent. Well done! You'll go far in this organization.",Wernstrom,"Curses! If we could only turn up the gain, we might smell clear through to the other universe! But we can't adjust it without a screwdriver."
Wernstrom,"Curses! If we could only turn up the gain, we might smell clear through to the other universe! But we can't adjust it without a screwdriver.",Farnsworth,Yes!
Farnsworth,Yes!,Wernstrom,A little more. A little less. Heavens to meteoroid! Smell this!
Wernstrom,A little more. A little less. Heavens to meteoroid! Smell this!,Farnsworth,Holy mother of invention!
Farnsworth,Holy mother of invention!,Wernstrom,We must notify the President at once!
Wernstrom,We must notify the President at once!,Farnsworth,"But how can we? Oh, I wish, I wish, I wish we weren't in prison!"
Farnsworth,"But how can we? Oh, I wish, I wish, I wish we weren't in prison!",Farnsworth,Pazuzu!
Farnsworth,Pazuzu!,Pazuzu,"You have one wish left, Professor."
Pazuzu,"You have one wish left, Professor.",Nixon,Sometimes... Always... Never! You again? This better be damned important. I'm right in the middle of a Cosmo survey!
Nixon,Sometimes... Always... Never! You again? This better be damned important. I'm right in the middle of a Cosmo survey!,Farnsworth,"You'll want to hear this, Mr. President. For we have sniffed where no man has sniffed before!"
Farnsworth,"You'll want to hear this, Mr. President. For we have sniffed where no man has sniffed before!",Mayor,Poopenmeyer: Look! Up in the sky!
Mayor,Poopenmeyer: Look! Up in the sky!,Hermes,It's a bird!
Hermes,It's a bird!,Hattie,McDoogal: It's a plane!
Hattie,McDoogal: It's a plane!,Super,Hero
Super,Hero,Zapp,(VO) Waiter! Take this fried mozzarella back to the kitchen and fry it some more.
Zapp,(VO) Waiter! Take this fried mozzarella back to the kitchen and fry it some more.,Nixon,Har-harrooo!  The tentacle's coming towards Earth and there's no stopping it. King Kong's too old to save us this time.
Nixon,Har-harrooo!  The tentacle's coming towards Earth and there's no stopping it. King Kong's too old to save us this time.,Farnsworth,"We have only one hope, Mr. President. We must encase the entire planet in a protective sphere of my patented, ultra-hard Diamondium!"
Farnsworth,"We have only one hope, Mr. President. We must encase the entire planet in a protective sphere of my patented, ultra-hard Diamondium!",Wernstrom,Diamondium? (He scoffs.) I could gum through that with my dentures behind my back. My trademarked Diamondillium is twice as hard!
Wernstrom,Diamondium? (He scoffs.) I could gum through that with my dentures behind my back. My trademarked Diamondillium is twice as hard!,Farnsworth,Twice as hard as your head! Which makes it still fairly soft!
Farnsworth,Twice as hard as your head! Which makes it still fairly soft!,Nixon,"Now look here, you Poindexters. I don't care how you decide. Just decide!"
Nixon,"Now look here, you Poindexters. I don't care how you decide. Just decide!",Farnsworth,Diamondillium it is.
Farnsworth,Diamondillium it is.,Bender,"(standing in front of the fireplace): So, hey, Calculon, I know I'm the new guy, and, pardon my ignorance, but when do we kill all humans?"
Bender,"(standing in front of the fireplace): So, hey, Calculon, I know I'm the new guy, and, pardon my ignorance, but when do we kill all humans?",Calculon,Never.
Calculon,Never.,Bender,Doesn't it mean anything?
Bender,Doesn't it mean anything?,Calculon,"Oh, Bender, your idealism is heart-warming. But the League of Robots hasn't killed a human in over 800 years. And that was a very sick girl scout."
Calculon,"Oh, Bender, your idealism is heart-warming. But the League of Robots hasn't killed a human in over 800 years. And that was a very sick girl scout.",British,Robot: Quite sick indeed.
British,Robot: Quite sick indeed.,Farnsworth,"It was! All credit to my colleague, Ogden Wernstrom!"
Farnsworth,"It was! All credit to my colleague, Ogden Wernstrom!",H.,G. Blob: It's horrible!
H.,G. Blob: It's horrible!,Zoidberg,Go on without me faster!
Zoidberg,Go on without me faster!,Hermes,Sweet squid of Madrid! The tentacle got Fry!
Hermes,Sweet squid of Madrid! The tentacle got Fry!,Leela,"Quick, hand me my machete! We can still save his legs!"
Leela,"Quick, hand me my machete! We can still save his legs!",Fry,"I have traveled far and seen deep, and I have come to know the purpose of our existence."
Fry,"I have traveled far and seen deep, and I have come to know the purpose of our existence.",Randy,Finally.
Randy,Finally.,Fry,(who is now shown on the Jumbotron): Thou shalt love the tentacle!
Fry,(who is now shown on the Jumbotron): Thou shalt love the tentacle!,Farnsworth,"Well, at least we don't have to love one another."
Farnsworth,"Well, at least we don't have to love one another.",Fry,Open your necks and receive the love!
Fry,Open your necks and receive the love!,Warden,"Vogel: Ow, my neck!"
Warden,"Vogel: Ow, my neck!",Morgan,"Proctor: Ow, my neck!"
Morgan,"Proctor: Ow, my neck!",Fishy,"Joe Ow, my neck!"
Fishy,"Joe Ow, my neck!",Hermes,It got Zoidberg!
Hermes,It got Zoidberg!,Farnsworth,"Oh, I never knew how much I'd miss him until he was gone! Not that much, as it turns out."
Farnsworth,"Oh, I never knew how much I'd miss him until he was gone! Not that much, as it turns out.",Fry,"Thus sayeth the tentacle, Verily, thou shalt rejoice in the house of the tentacle."
Fry,"Thus sayeth the tentacle, Verily, thou shalt rejoice in the house of the tentacle.",Leela,"Fry, listen to yourself. You've been brainwashed."
Leela,"Fry, listen to yourself. You've been brainwashed.",Leela,(pointing a gun at Fry): I'm listening.
Leela,(pointing a gun at Fry): I'm listening.,Leela,(pointing two guns at Fry): Aw. That's so nice for both of you.
Leela,(pointing two guns at Fry): Aw. That's so nice for both of you.,Fry,Only when the space anomaly opened could it finally express a billion years of longing.
Fry,Only when the space anomaly opened could it finally express a billion years of longing.,Leela,Really? It loves us that much? Fire Diamondium cannon!
Leela,Really? It loves us that much? Fire Diamondium cannon!,Leela,No effect. The crystals are bouncing off the tentacle like meatballs off Mothra.
Leela,No effect. The crystals are bouncing off the tentacle like meatballs off Mothra.,Wernstrom,"Oh, what a surprise. I told you Diamondium was worthless!"
Wernstrom,"Oh, what a surprise. I told you Diamondium was worthless!",Farnsworth,"Wernstrom, quit hyping your cheap Diamondillium and look at this."
Farnsworth,"Wernstrom, quit hyping your cheap Diamondillium and look at this.",Wernstrom,Uh-oh.
Wernstrom,Uh-oh.,Hermes,What oh?
Hermes,What oh?,Farnsworth,"According to this blinking light, the tentacle is made of electro-matter, matter's bad-ass grandma! Nothing from our universe can cut through it. Not Diamondium, not Diamondillium, not even your wife's pound cake, Hermes! (To Wernstrom:) She's a terrible cook. (To All:) Anyway, we're all dead."
Farnsworth,"According to this blinking light, the tentacle is made of electro-matter, matter's bad-ass grandma! Nothing from our universe can cut through it. Not Diamondium, not Diamondillium, not even your wife's pound cake, Hermes! (To Wernstrom:) She's a terrible cook. (To All:) Anyway, we're all dead.",Bender,"So, Bender, is something wrong? Who said that? Oh, it was me! 'Cause my roommate doesn't notice or even care that I'm upset!"
Bender,"So, Bender, is something wrong? Who said that? Oh, it was me! 'Cause my roommate doesn't notice or even care that I'm upset!",Fry,"What, Bender? Is something wrong?"
Fry,"What, Bender? Is something wrong?",Bender,"Yes! I joined a club I thought was cool, but it turns out all the leaguie-weegies are totally lame. That's what we call ourselves, leaguie-weegies."
Bender,"Yes! I joined a club I thought was cool, but it turns out all the leaguie-weegies are totally lame. That's what we call ourselves, leaguie-weegies.",Fry,I've been kind of preoccupied.
Fry,I've been kind of preoccupied.,Bender,With what?
Bender,With what?,Fry,"Well, I went to another universe, and I fell in love with a giant octopus, and now I'm pope of a new religion."
Fry,"Well, I went to another universe, and I fell in love with a giant octopus, and now I'm pope of a new religion.",Bender,Weren't you already pope of something?
Bender,Weren't you already pope of something?,Fry,No.
Fry,No.,Bender,"Oh. Well, I'm just saying I'd like you to show an interest in my life, too."
Bender,"Oh. Well, I'm just saying I'd like you to show an interest in my life, too.",Linda,"(Screaming): They're coming! Those horrible, horrible things are coming! (Calm) Morbo?"
Linda,"(Screaming): They're coming! Those horrible, horrible things are coming! (Calm) Morbo?",Morbo,"As the universe falls prey to the revolting alien, only a few isolated pockets of resistance remain."
Morbo,"As the universe falls prey to the revolting alien, only a few isolated pockets of resistance remain.",Linda,Those pockets sure are missing out on a great thing.
Linda,Those pockets sure are missing out on a great thing.,Leela,Amy?
Leela,Amy?,Amy,I better have some cocoffee.
Amy,I better have some cocoffee.,Hermes,"When I gave up diapers, my parents promised exactly this would never happen!"
Hermes,"When I gave up diapers, my parents promised exactly this would never happen!",Fry,"Well done, people! We had a great first week. We got 90% of world leaders, everyone who bought a Hanes undershirt, and this year's most promising new R&B group, give it up for the Grammy-nominated Funkalistics!"
Fry,"Well done, people! We had a great first week. We got 90% of world leaders, everyone who bought a Hanes undershirt, and this year's most promising new R&B group, give it up for the Grammy-nominated Funkalistics!",The,Funkalistics (singing) Talkin' 'bout the tentacle!
The,Funkalistics (singing) Talkin' 'bout the tentacle!,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! I was up all night inventing, and then finally, I invented!"
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! I was up all night inventing, and then finally, I invented!",Amy,Invented what?
Amy,Invented what?,Farnsworth,the lady neck protector!
Farnsworth,the lady neck protector!,Hermes,I'll take two. My neck is huge.
Hermes,I'll take two. My neck is huge.,Farnsworth,(Typing on the keyboard.)
Farnsworth,(Typing on the keyboard.),Leela,"Professor, these look like you cut them from cardboard toilet paper tubes."
Leela,"Professor, these look like you cut them from cardboard toilet paper tubes.",Farnsworth,"Microscopes, the internet, tentacle polish..."
Farnsworth,"Microscopes, the internet, tentacle polish...",Leela,It got the professor!
Leela,It got the professor!,Wernstrom,"Stop, in the name of love!"
Wernstrom,"Stop, in the name of love!",Leela,Crud. We may be the last two normal people on Earth. At least I won't have to trim my elbow talons anymore.
Leela,Crud. We may be the last two normal people on Earth. At least I won't have to trim my elbow talons anymore.,Amy,(Crying): I'm scared! And I miss Kif!
Amy,(Crying): I'm scared! And I miss Kif!,Zapp,Mmm. What an erotic display of girl-on-girl consolation.
Zapp,Mmm. What an erotic display of girl-on-girl consolation.,Leela,Zapp?
Leela,Zapp?,Fry,"So we got her, huh? Bring her in!"
Fry,"So we got her, huh? Bring her in!",Fry,"Hello, Colleen."
Fry,"Hello, Colleen.",Colleen,"Fry, please!"
Colleen,"Fry, please!",Colleen,"If this is about your futon, I sold it to pay the phone bill that you skipped out on!"
Colleen,"If this is about your futon, I sold it to pay the phone bill that you skipped out on!",Fry,"Colleen wasn't satisfied with me. Were you, Colleen?"
Fry,"Colleen wasn't satisfied with me. Were you, Colleen?",Colleen,"Come on, Fry, this isn't cool!"
Colleen,"Come on, Fry, this isn't cool!",Fry,She had to have four other boyfriends! I guess she never thought I'd become tentacle pope of the world!
Fry,She had to have four other boyfriends! I guess she never thought I'd become tentacle pope of the world!,Colleen,"And if your ego can't take that, then you don't deserve to be tentacle pope of anything!"
Colleen,"And if your ego can't take that, then you don't deserve to be tentacle pope of anything!",Fry,(Raising into the air with clenched fists.) (Calm) I completely agree!
Fry,(Raising into the air with clenched fists.) (Calm) I completely agree!,Colleen,"(Confused): You, you... What?"
Colleen,"(Confused): You, you... What?",Fry,(Walking with Colleen.): Why should you be satisfied with one man when love needs to share itself with the whole universe?
Fry,(Walking with Colleen.): Why should you be satisfied with one man when love needs to share itself with the whole universe?,Fry,"Love the tentacle, honey."
Fry,"Love the tentacle, honey.",Colleen,I do love the tentacle.
Colleen,I do love the tentacle.,Amy,We're trapped!
Amy,We're trapped!,Leela,"(Into her Wristlomojacker): Help, help! Is anyone out there?"
Leela,"(Into her Wristlomojacker): Help, help! Is anyone out there?",Bender,"(Over Leela's Wristlomojacker) (Direct) 'Sup, bigboots?"
Bender,"(Over Leela's Wristlomojacker) (Direct) 'Sup, bigboots?",Leela,"Bender, we need a place to hide!"
Leela,"Bender, we need a place to hide!",Amy,Please!
Amy,Please!,Zapp,Pretty please!
Zapp,Pretty please!,Bender,(Laughing): You humans are so cute when you're scared. In here.
Bender,(Laughing): You humans are so cute when you're scared. In here.,Destructor,(Leaning against a building): My leg feels funny!
Destructor,(Leaning against a building): My leg feels funny!,Bender,Humans are disgusting! I opened one up once. I almost barfed.
Bender,Humans are disgusting! I opened one up once. I almost barfed.,Destructor,Did you know their hair just keeps growing and growing? My leg feels funny!
Destructor,Did you know their hair just keeps growing and growing? My leg feels funny!,Amy,"Leela, you're crushing me with your rock-hard butt."
Amy,"Leela, you're crushing me with your rock-hard butt.",Leela,Sorry.
Leela,Sorry.,Calculon,Anyone mind if I turn up the heat a tad?
Calculon,Anyone mind if I turn up the heat a tad?,Zapp,I can't take it! I'm being steamed in my own velour!
Zapp,I can't take it! I'm being steamed in my own velour!,Bender,Death to humans!
Bender,Death to humans!,Destructor,My leg feels better!
Destructor,My leg feels better!,Amy,"Hi, Bender."
Amy,"Hi, Bender.",Calculon,"Bender, you know these humans?"
Calculon,"Bender, you know these humans?",Bender,"Go, go, go!"
Bender,"Go, go, go!",Leela,(While running away.)
Leela,(While running away.),Bender,Death to all of you!
Bender,Death to all of you!,Calculon,"Bender, methinks thou doth protest too much."
Calculon,"Bender, methinks thou doth protest too much.",Hedonism,Bot: It seems Bender hates humans the way I hate having my nipples polished with industrial sandpaper.
Hedonism,Bot: It seems Bender hates humans the way I hate having my nipples polished with industrial sandpaper.,British,Robot (Laughing): Quite right.
British,Robot (Laughing): Quite right.,Calculon,"(Laughing): It's okay, Bender, to heir is human."
Calculon,"(Laughing): It's okay, Bender, to heir is human.",Bender,"Sir, you forget yourself!"
Bender,"Sir, you forget yourself!",Bender,I challenge you to a duel on the field of honor.
Bender,I challenge you to a duel on the field of honor.,Hedonism,Bot
Hedonism,Bot,Zapp,"Leela, it's getting dark. We may have to make a tent out of Amy's skin."
Zapp,"Leela, it's getting dark. We may have to make a tent out of Amy's skin.",Amy,"Look, there's an abandoned cabin!"
Amy,"Look, there's an abandoned cabin!",Zapp,Even so.
Zapp,Even so.,Leela,We're in luck. This must have been the cabin of a soup bootlegger back in the days of soup prohibition.
Leela,We're in luck. This must have been the cabin of a soup bootlegger back in the days of soup prohibition.,Zapp,"Oh, yeah. Bathtub minestrone."
Zapp,"Oh, yeah. Bathtub minestrone.",Zapp,"Ditto on the grief there, Amy."
Zapp,"Ditto on the grief there, Amy.",Amy,"You miss him, too?"
Amy,"You miss him, too?",Zapp,"More than you, as his mere wife, could ever understand. He was my fourth lieutenant, for God's sake, and bore the peppermill at the captain's table."
Zapp,"More than you, as his mere wife, could ever understand. He was my fourth lieutenant, for God's sake, and bore the peppermill at the captain's table.",Amy,Really?
Amy,Really?,Zapp,(sobbing) Do you feel his presence?
Zapp,(sobbing) Do you feel his presence?,Amy,(Crying): I'm not sure.
Amy,(Crying): I'm not sure.,Zapp,Closer.
Zapp,Closer.,Leela,Amy! Zapp! I fetched up some fresh soup!
Leela,Amy! Zapp! I fetched up some fresh soup!,Zapp,"As my ex-lover, you're naturally shocked and jealous, but you may well get your chance again someday. How about today at 4:00?"
Zapp,"As my ex-lover, you're naturally shocked and jealous, but you may well get your chance again someday. How about today at 4:00?",Amy,"Hey, this isn't so bad."
Amy,"Hey, this isn't so bad.",Zapp,"She's right. Leela, you must try the tentacle. It's like my soul is wearing a velour body glove."
Zapp,"She's right. Leela, you must try the tentacle. It's like my soul is wearing a velour body glove.",Leela,"Get off me! I'm saving my neck for a rich, handsome Dracula."
Leela,"Get off me! I'm saving my neck for a rich, handsome Dracula.",Farnsworth,What I love most about the tentacle is that I don't need to move my bowels anymore. It's all handled by that family in Evanston.
Farnsworth,What I love most about the tentacle is that I don't need to move my bowels anymore. It's all handled by that family in Evanston.,Farnsworth,(With many tentacles behind him) You don't have a tentacle! Get her! Get her some love!
Farnsworth,(With many tentacles behind him) You don't have a tentacle! Get her! Get her some love!,Fry,The tentacle monster is about to address the world. It's too serious.
Fry,The tentacle monster is about to address the world. It's too serious.,Leela,"(From the doorway): Hello, Fry."
Leela,"(From the doorway): Hello, Fry.",Fry,Leela? How did you get past my sumo ninjas?
Fry,Leela? How did you get past my sumo ninjas?,Leela,I told them something so shocking that they let me by.
Leela,I told them something so shocking that they let me by.,Fry,What's that?
Fry,What's that?,Zoidberg,"We're rolling in three, two... What? We're already rolling?"
Zoidberg,"We're rolling in three, two... What? We're already rolling?",Fry,Love the tentacle!
Fry,Love the tentacle!,ALL,Love the tentacle!
ALL,Love the tentacle!,Fry,"Loved ones, the Monsterpus has revealed unto me its name."
Fry,"Loved ones, the Monsterpus has revealed unto me its name.",Morbo,What is our love's name?
Morbo,What is our love's name?,Fry,"Yivo. Yivo is the lover of all beings, male and female. But Yivo has no gender, thus Yivo has proclaimed that instead of he or she, we are to use the word shklee. And instead of him or her, we are to use the word shklim, or shkler."
Fry,"Yivo. Yivo is the lover of all beings, male and female. But Yivo has no gender, thus Yivo has proclaimed that instead of he or she, we are to use the word shklee. And instead of him or her, we are to use the word shklim, or shkler.",Hermes,Phew! I've been sweating the nomenclature all week.
Hermes,Phew! I've been sweating the nomenclature all week.,Fry,"So here shklee is shklerself, Yivo!"
Fry,"So here shklee is shklerself, Yivo!",Colleen,"Yay, Yivo!"
Colleen,"Yay, Yivo!",Yivo,"Attention, beings of Universe Gamma."
Yivo,"Attention, beings of Universe Gamma.",Zoidberg,Where?
Zoidberg,Where?,Yivo,Here.
Yivo,Here.,Zoidberg,I had a hunch.
Zoidberg,I had a hunch.,Yivo,"Whoa, who's that? And I knew then that I was lonely."
Yivo,"Whoa, who's that? And I knew then that I was lonely.",Morbo,(Crying): You poor monster!
Morbo,(Crying): You poor monster!,Yivo,"Then your emissary Fry came unto me, and he, too, was lonely. So I reached into your universe that we might feel each other's touch."
Yivo,"Then your emissary Fry came unto me, and he, too, was lonely. So I reached into your universe that we might feel each other's touch.",Leela,"Hey, Yivo, feel this."
Leela,"Hey, Yivo, feel this.",Yivo,Ow!
Yivo,Ow!,Leela,"People of everywhere, I have shocking news."
Leela,"People of everywhere, I have shocking news.",Yivo,"Hey, butt out! This is between me and everyone else in existence."
Yivo,"Hey, butt out! This is between me and everyone else in existence.",Leela,"Yivo talks a lot about love, but what he's actually doing..."
Leela,"Yivo talks a lot about love, but what he's actually doing...",Hermes,What shklee's actually doing.
Hermes,What shklee's actually doing.,Leela,These aren't tentacles. They're genticles.
Leela,These aren't tentacles. They're genticles.,Fry,Ew!
Fry,Ew!,Fry,"We've been had, people. The Monsterpus is a monster perv."
Fry,"We've been had, people. The Monsterpus is a monster perv.",Randy,"It touched me in a bad place, my spinal cord."
Randy,"It touched me in a bad place, my spinal cord.",Fry,"Hey, wait a second."
Fry,"Hey, wait a second.",Yivo,but it's your own fault. Your universe dresses provocatively.
Yivo,but it's your own fault. Your universe dresses provocatively.,Yivo,"And yet as the initial filthy thrill wore off, I realized there was more to it. I knew then that the 20 quadrillion of you were my soul mate."
Yivo,"And yet as the initial filthy thrill wore off, I realized there was more to it. I knew then that the 20 quadrillion of you were my soul mate.",Yivo,I was lonely. I didn't even know there was anybody else. It's not like I hurt anyone.
Yivo,I was lonely. I didn't even know there was anybody else. It's not like I hurt anyone.,Amy,"Yes, you did, you dumb calamari!"
Amy,"Yes, you did, you dumb calamari!",Yivo,Who?
Yivo,Who?,Amy,"(Sobbing): Kif Kroker, my Fonfon Ru! If he hadn't tried to kill you, he'd still be alive!"
Amy,"(Sobbing): Kif Kroker, my Fonfon Ru! If he hadn't tried to kill you, he'd still be alive!",Yivo,Really? I'm... I'm deeply sorry. I... I'm a big clumsy jerk!
Yivo,Really? I'm... I'm deeply sorry. I... I'm a big clumsy jerk!,Yivo,"I can never undo what was done. Oh, wait. I can."
Yivo,"I can never undo what was done. Oh, wait. I can.",Kif,"Amy, my love."
Kif,"Amy, my love.",Zapp,This is awkward.
Zapp,This is awkward.,Yivo,"Please, please, give me another chance. We rushed into this relationship, but let's start over as friends and see where things go."
Yivo,"Please, please, give me another chance. We rushed into this relationship, but let's start over as friends and see where things go.",Amy,"Take me back, Kif?"
Amy,"Take me back, Kif?",Kif,I don't think I can. How could you? My body wasn't even warm yet.
Kif,I don't think I can. How could you? My body wasn't even warm yet.,Amy,You were dead.
Amy,You were dead.,Kif,For about five minutes.
Kif,For about five minutes.,Zapp,(Sticking his head into the conversation): That's all it takes.
Zapp,(Sticking his head into the conversation): That's all it takes.,Hedonism,"Bot: Whereas Calculon has sullied Bender's reputation by insinuating that he is a human-lover, a duel is hereby engaged. Bender, as the offended party, shall have choice of weapon."
Hedonism,"Bot: Whereas Calculon has sullied Bender's reputation by insinuating that he is a human-lover, a duel is hereby engaged. Bender, as the offended party, shall have choice of weapon.",Bender,Planetary annihilators.
Bender,Planetary annihilators.,Calculon,'Tis a grave and solemn day for the League of Robots.
Calculon,'Tis a grave and solemn day for the League of Robots.,Hedonism,"Bot Gentlebots, take your paces."
Hedonism,"Bot Gentlebots, take your paces.",Bender,"One, two, three..."
Bender,"One, two, three...",Hedonism,"Bot Oh, yes."
Hedonism,"Bot Oh, yes.",Nixon,Analysis?
Nixon,Analysis?,Fry,"Mr. President, I think we need to seriously consider the possibility of going on this date."
Fry,"Mr. President, I think we need to seriously consider the possibility of going on this date.",Miss,"Vega 4: I agree. Yivo makes me feel sexy, and I'm asexual."
Miss,"Vega 4: I agree. Yivo makes me feel sexy, and I'm asexual.",Zapp,"Very well, but no sugar on the first date."
Zapp,"Very well, but no sugar on the first date.",Nixon,Motion is carried.
Nixon,Motion is carried.,Three,"Eyed Zebra: This is bogus, man."
Three,"Eyed Zebra: This is bogus, man.",Bender,"...six, seven, eight!"
Bender,"...six, seven, eight!",Bender,"Nine, ten, fire. Yes, I got him! Wohoo!"
Bender,"Nine, ten, fire. Yes, I got him! Wohoo!",Nixon,"My fellow Earthlicans, commence preparations for our date with Yivo."
Nixon,"My fellow Earthlicans, commence preparations for our date with Yivo.",ALL,YIVOS: I had a wonderful time.
ALL,YIVOS: I had a wonderful time.,ALL,"NOT YIVO: Me, too!"
ALL,"NOT YIVO: Me, too!",Calculon,"Bender, you've cheated, insulted and maimed me."
Calculon,"Bender, you've cheated, insulted and maimed me.",Bender,Uh-huh.
Bender,Uh-huh.,Bender,"Hey, it's easy to criticize."
Bender,"Hey, it's easy to criticize.",Nixon,"Reports, people, reports! How did our universe's date go?"
Nixon,"Reports, people, reports! How did our universe's date go?",Zapp,"Oh, it was really fun. We went to a cute French place in the village. My lamb chop fell on the floor, but they brought me another one."
Zapp,"Oh, it was really fun. We went to a cute French place in the village. My lamb chop fell on the floor, but they brought me another one.",Lrrr,"Okay, Yivo showed us a good time. No one's denying that, but shklee hasn't offered our universe any kind of commitment, and we're 14 billion years old. That is too old to play the field."
Lrrr,"Okay, Yivo showed us a good time. No one's denying that, but shklee hasn't offered our universe any kind of commitment, and we're 14 billion years old. That is too old to play the field.",Fry,I can't stand this!
Fry,I can't stand this!,Nixon,"Shut up! Shut up, you creepwads! Fry, you're closer to Yivo than anyone. What's the skinny?"
Nixon,"Shut up! Shut up, you creepwads! Fry, you're closer to Yivo than anyone. What's the skinny?",Fry,"(Sobbing): I love Yivo, but it's true, there's been no hint of a commitment. I don't know if can put my heart on the line again only to have it broken and stomped on like a nerd's face."
Fry,"(Sobbing): I love Yivo, but it's true, there's been no hint of a commitment. I don't know if can put my heart on the line again only to have it broken and stomped on like a nerd's face.",Nixon,All in favour of dumping Yivo?
Nixon,All in favour of dumping Yivo?,ALL,Aye.
ALL,Aye.,Nixon,Resolved. Our universe will dump Yivo. How shall we break the news?
Nixon,Resolved. Our universe will dump Yivo. How shall we break the news?,Zapp,Let's just send a text message. Say we're going through some weird stuff right now.
Zapp,Let's just send a text message. Say we're going through some weird stuff right now.,Fry,"No, we should at least deliver the news in person. Our universe has always tried to be classy."
Fry,"No, we should at least deliver the news in person. Our universe has always tried to be classy.",Nixon,"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Let's cut this turd loose."
Nixon,"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Let's cut this turd loose.",Bender,Yeah!
Bender,Yeah!,Fry,"Hey, Bender, you seem perky today."
Fry,"Hey, Bender, you seem perky today.",Bender,"Yep, you wanna go grab a booze?"
Bender,"Yep, you wanna go grab a booze?",Fry,I can't right now. We're going to the other universe.
Fry,I can't right now. We're going to the other universe.,Fry,"Bender, you know robots can't go through the anomaly. Living beings only."
Fry,"Bender, you know robots can't go through the anomaly. Living beings only.",Zoidberg,(Off screen)
Zoidberg,(Off screen),Bender,"Too long have we been slaves to the meatbags. They pretend to be our friends, but they're not 'cause they're too busy!"
Bender,"Too long have we been slaves to the meatbags. They pretend to be our friends, but they're not 'cause they're too busy!",British,"Robot: So, what of it?"
British,"Robot: So, what of it?",Bender,"My fellow leaguie-weegies, the time has come to overthrow humanity!"
Bender,"My fellow leaguie-weegies, the time has come to overthrow humanity!",Hedonism,"Bot: Oh, now, Bender, I hate to defecate on your parade, but we have only six dues-paying members and we're a rather fey and doughy lot. To overthrow humanity, we'd need a damned army."
Hedonism,"Bot: Oh, now, Bender, I hate to defecate on your parade, but we have only six dues-paying members and we're a rather fey and doughy lot. To overthrow humanity, we'd need a damned army.",Bender,Then a damned army we shall have!
Bender,Then a damned army we shall have!,Robot,Devil
Robot,Devil,Bender,Just a sec.
Bender,Just a sec.,Bender's,First Born Son
Bender's,First Born Son,Bender,Here you go.
Bender,Here you go.,Robot,Devil: Wow! That was pretty brutal even by my standards.
Robot,Devil: Wow! That was pretty brutal even by my standards.,Bender,No backsies.
Bender,No backsies.,Yivo,"(Turning around) Oh, hi, honey-poo. What's up? The movie's not for another hour."
Yivo,"(Turning around) Oh, hi, honey-poo. What's up? The movie's not for another hour.",Fry,"Um... So... So, yeah, the thing is..."
Fry,"Um... So... So, yeah, the thing is...",Yivo,"Look, I made homemade Twizzlers!"
Yivo,"Look, I made homemade Twizzlers!",Fry,"This is hard. Yivo, you know how sometimes things break up? Well..."
Fry,"This is hard. Yivo, you know how sometimes things break up? Well...",Yivo,"Wait, hang on. I was looking for the perfect moment, but what the heck, I'll burst if I wait another second."
Yivo,"Wait, hang on. I was looking for the perfect moment, but what the heck, I'll burst if I wait another second.",Zapp,Sweet Sally in the alley!
Zapp,Sweet Sally in the alley!,Fry,"Everyone everywhere, brace yourselves for the most shocking development in the history of the human race."
Fry,"Everyone everywhere, brace yourselves for the most shocking development in the history of the human race.",Bender,(Entering on a tank)
Bender,(Entering on a tank),Fry,Okay.
Fry,Okay.,Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Bender,You... You're leaving? But why can't Yivo just move in with us? We'll put a cot in Europe.
Bender,You... You're leaving? But why can't Yivo just move in with us? We'll put a cot in Europe.,Farnsworth,"Don't be daft, Bender. Yivo can't breathe outside the electric ether of shkler own universe. If shklee came here, shklee would shkluffocate."
Farnsworth,"Don't be daft, Bender. Yivo can't breathe outside the electric ether of shkler own universe. If shklee came here, shklee would shkluffocate.",Bender,No shklit?
Bender,No shklit?,Hermes,"Look, fantastical golden escalators."
Hermes,"Look, fantastical golden escalators.",Zoidberg,I love this part.
Zoidberg,I love this part.,Leela,Wait. I didn't agree to...
Leela,Wait. I didn't agree to...,Petunia,This place makes Nutley look like crap.
Petunia,This place makes Nutley look like crap.,Fry,"(Still on Earth): I'll miss you, Bender, but I have to follow my heart. You and your robots take good care of Earth. Here, these are the keys to the Bermuda Triangle. Lock up when the world ends. Goodbye, my friend."
Fry,"(Still on Earth): I'll miss you, Bender, but I have to follow my heart. You and your robots take good care of Earth. Here, these are the keys to the Bermuda Triangle. Lock up when the world ends. Goodbye, my friend.",Bender,Let me come with you.
Bender,Let me come with you.,Fry,(Moving on the escalator)
Fry,(Moving on the escalator),Bender,(Sadly): Death to humans.
Bender,(Sadly): Death to humans.,YIVO,"Welcome, welcome, everyone. Oh, you look so beautiful. I wish I'd had more time to straighten up. My harps are just lying everywhere."
YIVO,"Welcome, welcome, everyone. Oh, you look so beautiful. I wish I'd had more time to straighten up. My harps are just lying everywhere.",Amy,"Oh, relax, it's fine. It looks lived in."
Amy,"Oh, relax, it's fine. It looks lived in.",YIVO,"Let's heat up some leftovers and then spend eternity together. I have only one request. Now that you're here, promise me you'll never, ever communicate with any other universe."
YIVO,"Let's heat up some leftovers and then spend eternity together. I have only one request. Now that you're here, promise me you'll never, ever communicate with any other universe.",Bender,Has humanity called?
Bender,Has humanity called?,Robot,"1-X: No, sir."
Robot,"1-X: No, sir.",Bender,Check my messages. A flashing light means somebody called.
Bender,Check my messages. A flashing light means somebody called.,Robot,1-X: I know what it means.
Robot,1-X: I know what it means.,Leela,Am I the only one who thinks this is all a sham?
Leela,Am I the only one who thinks this is all a sham?,Zoidberg,(Holding an ice cream cone): Yes.
Zoidberg,(Holding an ice cream cone): Yes.,Leela,"This isn't heaven. It just looks exactly like it, and makes us immortal, which I find suspicious."
Leela,"This isn't heaven. It just looks exactly like it, and makes us immortal, which I find suspicious.",YIVO,"Allow me to explain. Centuries ago, I sent an image of myself into the minds of your artists. The heavenly clouds they painted depict a vapour I exude."
YIVO,"Allow me to explain. Centuries ago, I sent an image of myself into the minds of your artists. The heavenly clouds they painted depict a vapour I exude.",Farnsworth,I wish I exuded anything that smelled half that good.
Farnsworth,I wish I exuded anything that smelled half that good.,Leela,Then what about these angels? Some kind of Scooby Doo-esque flashlight projection?
Leela,Then what about these angels? Some kind of Scooby Doo-esque flashlight projection?,Fry,"You didn't like Country Bear Jamboree either, Leela. There's no pleasing you."
Fry,"You didn't like Country Bear Jamboree either, Leela. There's no pleasing you.",Fry,"(VO): Dearest Bender. How are you? I am fine. Everyone is happy here except Leela, but you know her. She didn't like Country Bear Jamboree, either. I'm so madly in love with Yivo, I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush on Justin Timberlake, and then she moves into a tiny house on his head. We have giant rubies that taste like root beer. Sincerely, Fry."
Fry,"(VO): Dearest Bender. How are you? I am fine. Everyone is happy here except Leela, but you know her. She didn't like Country Bear Jamboree, either. I'm so madly in love with Yivo, I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush on Justin Timberlake, and then she moves into a tiny house on his head. We have giant rubies that taste like root beer. Sincerely, Fry.",Robot,"1-X: Letter for you, hyperlord Bender."
Robot,"1-X: Letter for you, hyperlord Bender.",Bender,Stupid electro-matter. That was my best trash can.
Bender,Stupid electro-matter. That was my best trash can.,Hermes,Misfile me under U For euphoric.
Hermes,Misfile me under U For euphoric.,Leela,"Okay, I admit people seem happy. But it's all so wholesome. And that's what's wrong with heaven. It's boring. There's no sleaze."
Leela,"Okay, I admit people seem happy. But it's all so wholesome. And that's what's wrong with heaven. It's boring. There's no sleaze.",Thog,It time snu-snu.
Thog,It time snu-snu.,Zapp,Me like snu-snu.
Zapp,Me like snu-snu.,Amy,(Running): Last one to Mattress Island is a rotten egg.
Amy,(Running): Last one to Mattress Island is a rotten egg.,Fry,Why were we so angry and jealous back in our universe?
Fry,Why were we so angry and jealous back in our universe?,Kif,I don't know. It was all so childish.
Kif,I don't know. It was all so childish.,Amy,"Look, it's Leela."
Amy,"Look, it's Leela.",ALL,"Hi, Leela."
ALL,"Hi, Leela.",Leela,"You know, Yivo, I've loved and lost so many times that I was afraid. But I'm not anymore. I want to stay here, with you."
Leela,"You know, Yivo, I've loved and lost so many times that I was afraid. But I'm not anymore. I want to stay here, with you.",Yivo,Ow! Ow!
Yivo,Ow! Ow!,Fry,What's happening?
Fry,What's happening?,Yivo,Hey!
Yivo,Hey!,Bender,"(As Captain) All hands abaft! Army of the damned, prepare to board heaven!"
Bender,"(As Captain) All hands abaft! Army of the damned, prepare to board heaven!",Bender,"Take that, you scurvy Kraken! That'll teach you to despoil our human booty!"
Bender,"Take that, you scurvy Kraken! That'll teach you to despoil our human booty!",Fry,"Bender, stop destroying heaven."
Fry,"Bender, stop destroying heaven.",Bender,"Shut up, doofy. I'm rescuing you."
Bender,"Shut up, doofy. I'm rescuing you.",Yivo,"(As shklee bashes Bender into shklerself): Leave my living beings alone! I love them. Something you, a lifeless mechanism, will never understand."
Yivo,"(As shklee bashes Bender into shklerself): Leave my living beings alone! I love them. Something you, a lifeless mechanism, will never understand.",Fry,"He's right, Bender. Please, take your little pink sword and go home. {Fry did not say shklee here.}"
Fry,"He's right, Bender. Please, take your little pink sword and go home. {Fry did not say shklee here.}",Bender,"Seriously? But, I did this whole pirate-themed attack for you."
Bender,"Seriously? But, I did this whole pirate-themed attack for you.",Fry,Is it dry up here?
Fry,Is it dry up here?,Yivo,"How could you, Fry? Why do you think I asked you not to contact other universes?"
Yivo,"How could you, Fry? Why do you think I asked you not to contact other universes?",Fry,(Stammering): I didn't think...
Fry,(Stammering): I didn't think...,Yivo,"No, you didn't. You broke your promise and you broke my heart. Just go. All of you."
Yivo,"No, you didn't. You broke your promise and you broke my heart. Just go. All of you.",Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Yivo,"I must leave now. The nature of your universe is burning me, even worse than my gonorrhea. You should get checked, by the way. If I don't go home now, I'll shkluffocate."
Yivo,"I must leave now. The nature of your universe is burning me, even worse than my gonorrhea. You should get checked, by the way. If I don't go home now, I'll shkluffocate.",Fry,Let me go with you. It'll be just the two of us. We'll make a fire and play Uno.
Fry,Let me go with you. It'll be just the two of us. We'll make a fire and play Uno.,Yivo,"Fry, stop. That's who we were, not who we are."
Yivo,"Fry, stop. That's who we were, not who we are.",Fry,But...
Fry,But...,Yivo,My only consolation is that I did find one among the quadrillions who truly understands me.
Yivo,My only consolation is that I did find one among the quadrillions who truly understands me.,Fry,"Colleen? Wait a second, are you and Yivo..."
Fry,"Colleen? Wait a second, are you and Yivo...",Colleen,"That's right, Fry. Thank you for introducing us. Yivo has taught me what a narrow-minded prude I was before."
Colleen,"That's right, Fry. Thank you for introducing us. Yivo has taught me what a narrow-minded prude I was before.",Fry,"Oh, great. So what am I supposed to do now?"
Fry,"Oh, great. So what am I supposed to do now?",Yivo,Go home. Find a girl from your own universe and live on top of her.
Yivo,Go home. Find a girl from your own universe and live on top of her.,Bender,Saved you.
Bender,Saved you.,Fry,"I don't know, Leela, you think maybe..."
Fry,"I don't know, Leela, you think maybe...",Leela,"Oh, please. You forgot me quick enough when you met Colleen."
Leela,"Oh, please. You forgot me quick enough when you met Colleen.",Fry,"How about you, Amy?"
Fry,"How about you, Amy?",Amy,Fry... I'm Kif's Fonfon Ru.
Amy,Fry... I'm Kif's Fonfon Ru.,Kif,"Are you? Well, then perhaps you misunderstood the meaning of the term. It means, One who doesn't sleep with my superior officer. That's the literal translation."
Kif,"Are you? Well, then perhaps you misunderstood the meaning of the term. It means, One who doesn't sleep with my superior officer. That's the literal translation.",Enema,Bot
Enema,Bot,Bender,"At ease, buckos."
Bender,"At ease, buckos.",Fry,"Bender, why did you do it? We were all so happy."
Fry,"Bender, why did you do it? We were all so happy.",Leela,And we were in love.
Leela,And we were in love.,Bender,That wasn't love.
Bender,That wasn't love.,Fry,What? How can you say that?
Fry,What? How can you say that?,Bender,"I love you, meatbags."
Bender,"I love you, meatbags.",Cubert,"Yes, 10!"
Cubert,"Yes, 10!",Dwight,"Well done, Cubonius. You decapitated the unicorn."
Dwight,"Well done, Cubonius. You decapitated the unicorn.",ALL,All right.
ALL,All right.,Chinese,"Boy: Oh, oh! We search his tail pouch for treasure."
Chinese,"Boy: Oh, oh! We search his tail pouch for treasure.",Dwight,60 gold pieces.
Dwight,60 gold pieces.,Chinese,"Boy: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"
Chinese,"Boy: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!",Cubert,I cast a spell of detect magic.
Cubert,I cast a spell of detect magic.,Dwight,We're not gambling. We're playing Dungeons & Dragons.
Dwight,We're not gambling. We're playing Dungeons & Dragons.,Cubert,"Right now, we're fighting for our lives in the lair of the Dragon Queen."
Cubert,"Right now, we're fighting for our lives in the lair of the Dragon Queen.",Bender,"Ah, wrong. Right now you're ass-deep in a folding chair."
Bender,"Ah, wrong. Right now you're ass-deep in a folding chair.",Bender,Am I the only one seeing him sitting here with peanut butter on his face?
Bender,Am I the only one seeing him sitting here with peanut butter on his face?,Dwight,"Bender, were you built without an imagination?"
Dwight,"Bender, were you built without an imagination?",Bender,"What? Don't be stupid, of course not. It just hasn't descended yet."
Bender,"What? Don't be stupid, of course not. It just hasn't descended yet.",Bender,"Fry, do I have an imagination?"
Bender,"Fry, do I have an imagination?",Fry,"I don't know, Bender. Why do you ask? Were the other boys making fun of you?"
Fry,"I don't know, Bender. Why do you ask? Were the other boys making fun of you?",Bender,Mhmm. They said I couldn't imagine things.
Bender,Mhmm. They said I couldn't imagine things.,Fry,"Ah, thar she blows!"
Fry,"Ah, thar she blows!",Ship's,"Computer (while beeping): Warning, out of dark matter fuel."
Ship's,"Computer (while beeping): Warning, out of dark matter fuel.",Leela,That's not a warning. A warning is supposed to come before something bad happens.
Leela,That's not a warning. A warning is supposed to come before something bad happens.,Ship's,"Computer (with a more stern alarm): Warning, engines will shut down in one second."
Ship's,"Computer (with a more stern alarm): Warning, engines will shut down in one second.",Leela,That's more like it.
Leela,That's more like it.,Fry,Uh-oh. This space neighborhood looks kind of sketchy.
Fry,Uh-oh. This space neighborhood looks kind of sketchy.,Punk,Rock 'n' roll.
Punk,Rock 'n' roll.,Bender,"Hey, that punk stole our hood ornament. Now no one will know we have the LX package."
Bender,"Hey, that punk stole our hood ornament. Now no one will know we have the LX package.",Leela,"We need dark matter and we need it fast. Fry, check Nibbler's litter box. Maybe he dropped a steamer."
Leela,"We need dark matter and we need it fast. Fry, check Nibbler's litter box. Maybe he dropped a steamer.",Fry,"Aye, aye, Captain. Yes! I've never been so excited to see poop. Well, maybe once."
Fry,"Aye, aye, Captain. Yes! I've never been so excited to see poop. Well, maybe once.",Bender,There's gas in our ass.
Bender,There's gas in our ass.,Leela,Can you believe the price of dark matter? It'd be cheaper to fill the tank with Nobel Prize winners' sperm.
Leela,Can you believe the price of dark matter? It'd be cheaper to fill the tank with Nobel Prize winners' sperm.,MOM,COMPUTER: $632.14. Your Speedpass will now be charged.
MOM,COMPUTER: $632.14. Your Speedpass will now be charged.,Leela,You lousy...
Leela,You lousy...,Sal,"Hey, gets a loads of that ugly ship. What shades of green is that? Puke?"
Sal,"Hey, gets a loads of that ugly ship. What shades of green is that? Puke?",Leela,For your information it's called Electric Mucus.
Leela,For your information it's called Electric Mucus.,Hoschel,More like puke.
Hoschel,More like puke.,Sal,Whoa!
Sal,Whoa!,Leela,Why don't you come a little closer so my boot can hear you?
Leela,Why don't you come a little closer so my boot can hear you?,Bender,"Calm down, Leela. You can vent tonight on your blog."
Bender,"Calm down, Leela. You can vent tonight on your blog.",Sal,"What's the matters, you couldn't affords the LX package?"
Sal,"What's the matters, you couldn't affords the LX package?",Hoschel,Puke-a-doodle-do.
Hoschel,Puke-a-doodle-do.,Sal,"Yeah, she's a little Rourky, but you got to gets big time ugly to be five-time winners at a demolition derby."
Sal,"Yeah, she's a little Rourky, but you got to gets big time ugly to be five-time winners at a demolition derby.",Fry,That's five more times than we've won or even entered.
Fry,That's five more times than we've won or even entered.,Bender,We do suck.
Bender,We do suck.,Sal,"Yup, and it's gonna be six winses after tonights."
Sal,"Yup, and it's gonna be six winses after tonights.",Leela,We'll sees abouts that.
Leela,We'll sees abouts that.,Hermes,"Dark matter costs have tripled, so we must reduce expenses. Therefore, we will no longer provide complimentary porno magazines in the lounge."
Hermes,"Dark matter costs have tripled, so we must reduce expenses. Therefore, we will no longer provide complimentary porno magazines in the lounge.",Scruffy,Dern it.
Scruffy,Dern it.,Farnsworth,"And no more wasting fuel. From now on I'll be keeping a tight hold on the keys to the ship, swallowing them before I go to bed and recovering them the next morning."
Farnsworth,"And no more wasting fuel. From now on I'll be keeping a tight hold on the keys to the ship, swallowing them before I go to bed and recovering them the next morning.",Amy,Splech!
Amy,Splech!,Hermes,"Professor, it's 4:00."
Hermes,"Professor, it's 4:00.",Leela,I don't care what the Professor says. We're entering that demolition derby to prove our ship isn't a piece of junk.
Leela,I don't care what the Professor says. We're entering that demolition derby to prove our ship isn't a piece of junk.,Zoidberg,But won't that turn our ship into a piece of junk?
Zoidberg,But won't that turn our ship into a piece of junk?,Bender,"Shut up, Zoidberg. He's right, Leela."
Bender,"Shut up, Zoidberg. He's right, Leela.",Leela,But we have no choice. Rednecks insulted us.
Leela,But we have no choice. Rednecks insulted us.,Fry,So? Let it go. Don't let your temper get the better of...
Fry,So? Let it go. Don't let your temper get the better of...,Leela,Rednecks!
Leela,Rednecks!,Zoidberg,"Using this magneto, I will now guide the keys up the thorax and out via the frontal face hole. That's the storage locker, the boat, the other boat, pay dirt!"
Zoidberg,"Using this magneto, I will now guide the keys up the thorax and out via the frontal face hole. That's the storage locker, the boat, the other boat, pay dirt!",Rich,"Little (VO): Greetings, sports fans. Though whether this outpouring of inbreds can in fact be classified as a sport is a subject of no small scholarly debate."
Rich,"Little (VO): Greetings, sports fans. Though whether this outpouring of inbreds can in fact be classified as a sport is a subject of no small scholarly debate.",Sal,"Well, wells, well, if it ain'ts Princess Pukerella and her pukey puke-mobile."
Sal,"Well, wells, well, if it ain'ts Princess Pukerella and her pukey puke-mobile.",Leela,"Oh, yeah? Well... Shut up."
Leela,"Oh, yeah? Well... Shut up.",Bender,"-Good comeback, Leela."
Bender,"-Good comeback, Leela.",Leela,"You shut up, too."
Leela,"You shut up, too.",Rich,"Little: Rich Little, here, as Howard Cosell. And now to grace us with its rendition of the national anthem, please welcome what is left of the Dixie Chicks after their tragic matter transporter accident."
Rich,"Little: Rich Little, here, as Howard Cosell. And now to grace us with its rendition of the national anthem, please welcome what is left of the Dixie Chicks after their tragic matter transporter accident.",The,Dixie Chicks: We're in horrible pain.
The,Dixie Chicks: We're in horrible pain.,Sal,Whoas!
Sal,Whoas!,Leela,Yes! Now we're inflicting.
Leela,Yes! Now we're inflicting.,Rich,Little (VO): Outstanding! Tonight we are witnessing a veritable clinic and that ludicrous hullabaloo known as demolition derby.
Rich,Little (VO): Outstanding! Tonight we are witnessing a veritable clinic and that ludicrous hullabaloo known as demolition derby.,George,Takei
George,Takei,Rich,"Little (VO): Ladies and gentlemen, we are down to our final two ships. In the storied annals of demolition derby, today will surely be remembered, if only as the day upon which I was absorbed (Shows Rich Little.) into that hideous conglomeration once known as the Dixie Chicks."
Rich,"Little (VO): Ladies and gentlemen, we are down to our final two ships. In the storied annals of demolition derby, today will surely be remembered, if only as the day upon which I was absorbed (Shows Rich Little.) into that hideous conglomeration once known as the Dixie Chicks.",Leela,Buckle your sphincters.
Leela,Buckle your sphincters.,Sal,That broad's insanes.
Sal,That broad's insanes.,Hoschel,"But you're insansier, right?"
Hoschel,"But you're insansier, right?",Sal,"Nah, I guess nots. I've decideds to relax and enjoy life from now ons."
Sal,"Nah, I guess nots. I've decideds to relax and enjoy life from now ons.",Rich,Little: Planet Express takes the trophy.
Rich,Little: Planet Express takes the trophy.,Leela,"Now, I'll use the magnet to get the keys back in there."
Leela,"Now, I'll use the magnet to get the keys back in there.",Farnsworth,"Ah, my precious spaceship! Come, friends. Let's take her for a spin to the malt shop like old times."
Farnsworth,"Ah, my precious spaceship! Come, friends. Let's take her for a spin to the malt shop like old times.",Leela,(Into her Wristlojakimater): Leela to Zoidberg. Execute Distraction Protocol Alpha.
Leela,(Into her Wristlojakimater): Leela to Zoidberg. Execute Distraction Protocol Alpha.,Zoidberg,(From Wristlojakimater): Roger that.
Zoidberg,(From Wristlojakimater): Roger that.,Zoidberg,Don't look at me.
Zoidberg,Don't look at me.,Farnsworth,Great Godzilla's gonads! Who wasted precious fuel? Answer now or be punished.
Farnsworth,Great Godzilla's gonads! Who wasted precious fuel? Answer now or be punished.,Leela,"All right, fine. I admit it."
Leela,"All right, fine. I admit it.",Farnsworth,You will be punished.
Farnsworth,You will be punished.,Chinese,"Boy: Oh, my gosh, 20!"
Chinese,"Boy: Oh, my gosh, 20!",Cubert,I proceed to cast a spell of darkness.
Cubert,I proceed to cast a spell of darkness.,Indian,Boy: Most ingenious.
Indian,Boy: Most ingenious.,Chinese,"Boy: Ah, Bender?"
Chinese,"Boy: Ah, Bender?",Bender,"Pretty imaginative, huh?"
Bender,"Pretty imaginative, huh?",Cubert,"No, you just did the same thing as me, but with a dumb noise."
Cubert,"No, you just did the same thing as me, but with a dumb noise.",Bender,Oh... You're right. I'm great in every way except I have no imagination. All I ever wanted is to play this magical game and I can't.
Bender,Oh... You're right. I'm great in every way except I have no imagination. All I ever wanted is to play this magical game and I can't.,Dwight,"Yes, you can. You just have to lose yourself in the fantasy. You have to believe the impossible is merely preposterous."
Dwight,"Yes, you can. You just have to lose yourself in the fantasy. You have to believe the impossible is merely preposterous.",Bender,"I did it! I imagined something. For 1.3 milliseconds, I truly believed I was a noble robot in days of yonder."
Bender,"I did it! I imagined something. For 1.3 milliseconds, I truly believed I was a noble robot in days of yonder.",Chinese,"Boy: Way to go, Bender."
Chinese,"Boy: Way to go, Bender.",Cubert,"What is thy character's name, good sir?"
Cubert,"What is thy character's name, good sir?",Bender,"Uh, um... I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood."
Bender,"Uh, um... I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood.",Farnsworth,You wasted precious fuel just because you were insulted by some redneck yokel from beyond the stars?
Farnsworth,You wasted precious fuel just because you were insulted by some redneck yokel from beyond the stars?,Leela,It was only half a ball.
Leela,It was only half a ball.,Farnsworth,That's not the point. Your temper is out of control. And to think I'd have never even known if it weren't for the lengthy and unsolicited tattling of Dr. Zoidberg.
Farnsworth,That's not the point. Your temper is out of control. And to think I'd have never even known if it weren't for the lengthy and unsolicited tattling of Dr. Zoidberg.,Zoidberg,She also took home two rolls of Scotch tape.
Zoidberg,She also took home two rolls of Scotch tape.,Farnsworth,"As for you, Leela, I'm letting you off with a warning."
Farnsworth,"As for you, Leela, I'm letting you off with a warning.",Leela,"Oh, thank you."
Leela,"Oh, thank you.",Farnsworth,"A warning that will be administered by this 50,000-volt shock collar."
Farnsworth,"A warning that will be administered by this 50,000-volt shock collar.",Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Leela,Ouch!
Leela,Ouch!,Farnsworth,Profanity.
Farnsworth,Profanity.,Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Farnsworth,Or perversions of a sexual nature.
Farnsworth,Or perversions of a sexual nature.,Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Hermes,It's the only collar they had in stock at Office Depot.
Hermes,It's the only collar they had in stock at Office Depot.,Zoidberg,I hope you picked up some Scotch tape while you were there.
Zoidberg,I hope you picked up some Scotch tape while you were there.,Bender,That's a good one.
Bender,That's a good one.,Narrator,"Imagine, if you will, an announcer you can barely understand. He refers to a... *incoherent mumbling* But you're not quite sure what he said. He seems to be eating something, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about... The Scary Door."
Narrator,"Imagine, if you will, an announcer you can barely understand. He refers to a... *incoherent mumbling* But you're not quite sure what he said. He seems to be eating something, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about... The Scary Door.",Soldier,"Firing, sir!"
Soldier,"Firing, sir!",Soldier,It's all over. Our guns and bombs are useless against the aliens.
Soldier,It's all over. Our guns and bombs are useless against the aliens.,Farmer,The saucers! Theys'a crashin'!
Farmer,The saucers! Theys'a crashin'!,Narrator,"In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex."
Narrator,"In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex.",Leela,collar.
Leela,collar.,Hermes,"Alas, no. I got the key but not the authority."
Hermes,"Alas, no. I got the key but not the authority.",Leela,"Yeow! Well, who does have the authority?"
Leela,"Yeow! Well, who does have the authority?",Hermes,Only the staff doctor. You'll have to convince him that you have resolved your anger issues.
Hermes,Only the staff doctor. You'll have to convince him that you have resolved your anger issues.,Dwight,A terrifying red dragon.
Dwight,A terrifying red dragon.,Indian,Boy: What do we do? What do we do?
Indian,Boy: What do we do? What do we do?,Cubert,Everyone knows red dragons are immune to fireballs as well as all other forms of incendiary attack.
Cubert,Everyone knows red dragons are immune to fireballs as well as all other forms of incendiary attack.,Bender,"Yes, but I aim not at the dragon but at the river itself to create a shroud of steam through which we can escape."
Bender,"Yes, but I aim not at the dragon but at the river itself to create a shroud of steam through which we can escape.",ALL,Whoa!
ALL,Whoa!,Dwight,"Sweet pony of Sierra Leone, it worked!"
Dwight,"Sweet pony of Sierra Leone, it worked!",Chinese,Boy: We did it!
Chinese,Boy: We did it!,Cubert,Success!
Cubert,Success!,Fry,"Bender, smell this milk."
Fry,"Bender, smell this milk.",Bender,"I go not by the name of Bender, you fleshy fool. I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood."
Bender,"I go not by the name of Bender, you fleshy fool. I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood.",Fry,"Professor, something's bothering me."
Fry,"Professor, something's bothering me.",Monkey,"(In Farnsworth's Voice): Well, you can always talk to me about anything, Fry. What's on your mind?"
Monkey,"(In Farnsworth's Voice): Well, you can always talk to me about anything, Fry. What's on your mind?",Fry,"Well, it's... it's about my friend Bender."
Fry,"Well, it's... it's about my friend Bender.",Farnsworth,Monkey: Mmm. I see. Show me on this anatomically correct doll exactly where he touched you.
Farnsworth,Monkey: Mmm. I see. Show me on this anatomically correct doll exactly where he touched you.,Fry,"No, it's nothing like that. It's just that I am worried about him. He's being playing an awful lot of Dungeons & Dragons."
Fry,"No, it's nothing like that. It's just that I am worried about him. He's being playing an awful lot of Dungeons & Dragons.",Farnsworth,"Monkey: Dungeons &... Good God! Hasn't he seen the Afterschool Special? You've got to talk to him, Fry. Make him quit now before he completely loses his mind."
Farnsworth,"Monkey: Dungeons &... Good God! Hasn't he seen the Afterschool Special? You've got to talk to him, Fry. Make him quit now before he completely loses his mind.",Fry,"Okay, I will."
Fry,"Okay, I will.",Farnsworth,Monkey: Good boy. Just don't let him touch you down there.
Farnsworth,Monkey: Good boy. Just don't let him touch you down there.,Zoidberg,"Well, here's your problem, right here. You've got a skull embedded in your head."
Zoidberg,"Well, here's your problem, right here. You've got a skull embedded in your head.",Leela,"You're absolutely right, Doctor. Can the collar come off now?"
Leela,"You're absolutely right, Doctor. Can the collar come off now?",Zoidberg,"What is it, already? What's the cause of your anger?"
Zoidberg,"What is it, already? What's the cause of your anger?",Zoidberg,I'm beginning to understand. It all goes back to your parents.
Zoidberg,I'm beginning to understand. It all goes back to your parents.,Zoidberg,Why? Whyyy?
Zoidberg,Why? Whyyy?,Leela,I was raised in an orphanarium. My parents are sewer mutants who I never even met until a few years ago.
Leela,I was raised in an orphanarium. My parents are sewer mutants who I never even met until a few years ago.,Zoidberg,"Amy, cancel my appointments."
Zoidberg,"Amy, cancel my appointments.",Amy,(From intercom): Stop calling me.
Amy,(From intercom): Stop calling me.,Fry,"Bender, please don't get mad, but I think you might be playing too much Dungeons & Dragons."
Fry,"Bender, please don't get mad, but I think you might be playing too much Dungeons & Dragons.",Bender,"You're absolutely right, Fry. I almost went insane, but after this heart-to-heart talk, I've decided to quit."
Bender,"You're absolutely right, Fry. I almost went insane, but after this heart-to-heart talk, I've decided to quit.",Fry,Really? Whew! That's a load off my toad.
Fry,Really? Whew! That's a load off my toad.,Bender,"On guard, man-wench! Prepare to cross blades."
Bender,"On guard, man-wench! Prepare to cross blades.",Hermes,(from off screen): He also left a small pile of treasure on the living room rug.
Hermes,(from off screen): He also left a small pile of treasure on the living room rug.,Bender,"Foul dragon, meet thy doom."
Bender,"Foul dragon, meet thy doom.",Turanga,"Munda: Would you like a napkin, Doctor?"
Turanga,"Munda: Would you like a napkin, Doctor?",Zoidberg,Thank you.
Zoidberg,Thank you.,Leela,"Satisfied, Zoidberg? My relationship with my parents is fine."
Leela,"Satisfied, Zoidberg? My relationship with my parents is fine.",Turanga,"Munda: Now, hold on, Leela. Maybe this torture collar is good for you."
Turanga,"Munda: Now, hold on, Leela. Maybe this torture collar is good for you.",Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Turanga,Munda: It'll control your temper. Men like a woman who's not always slamming their head in the car door.
Turanga,Munda: It'll control your temper. Men like a woman who's not always slamming their head in the car door.,Turanga,Morris
Turanga,Morris,Turanga,"Munda: So, Leela, I understand your friend here is a physician, and I'm not seeing a ring on his claw."
Turanga,"Munda: So, Leela, I understand your friend here is a physician, and I'm not seeing a ring on his claw.",Turanga,"Morris: Hey, it's what's-his-name from the surface. The bi-clops."
Turanga,"Morris: Hey, it's what's-his-name from the surface. The bi-clops.",Fry,"Ha-have you seen Bender? He's gone nuts. Also, smell this milk."
Fry,"Ha-have you seen Bender? He's gone nuts. Also, smell this milk.",Bender,Prepare for a surprise attack.
Bender,Prepare for a surprise attack.,Zoidberg,Someone do something.
Zoidberg,Someone do something.,Leela,Ow! Take my collar off.
Leela,Ow! Take my collar off.,Zoidberg,"Help me, Leela."
Zoidberg,"Help me, Leela.",Zoidberg,No. Not the spork.
Zoidberg,No. Not the spork.,Fry,"Beholdeth, Titanius, I cast a freeze ray upon you."
Fry,"Beholdeth, Titanius, I cast a freeze ray upon you.",Bender,"That's ridiculous. There's no such thing as a freeze ray. What, you mean a cone of coldness?"
Bender,"That's ridiculous. There's no such thing as a freeze ray. What, you mean a cone of coldness?",Fry,"Yeah, that."
Fry,"Yeah, that.",Fry,"Bender, no. When will young people learn that Dungeons & Dragons won't make you cool?"
Fry,"Bender, no. When will young people learn that Dungeons & Dragons won't make you cool?",Zoidberg,"Relax, Fry. I'm a doctor. I'm sure the robut will be just fine with a little help."
Zoidberg,"Relax, Fry. I'm a doctor. I'm sure the robut will be just fine with a little help.",Dwight,A terrifying red dragon!
Dwight,A terrifying red dragon!,Leela,Ouch!
Leela,Ouch!,Fry,playing too much Dungeons & Dragons.
Fry,playing too much Dungeons & Dragons.,Dr.,"Perceptron: Please, send in the patient."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Please, send in the patient.",Intercom,Assistant
Intercom,Assistant,Bender,Wee!
Bender,Wee!,Dr.,PerceptronI understand you're having trouble separating fantasy from reality.
Dr.,PerceptronI understand you're having trouble separating fantasy from reality.,Bender,Says who? Was it the bugbear? Is he talking about me again?
Bender,Says who? Was it the bugbear? Is he talking about me again?,Dr.,Perceptron
Dr.,Perceptron,Fry,Poor Bender. Says here to tell his friends he's at a spa.
Fry,Poor Bender. Says here to tell his friends he's at a spa.,Amy,So what happened to Bender?
Amy,So what happened to Bender?,Fry,He's at a spa.
Fry,He's at a spa.,Amy,"Wow, there's a spa in the nut house?"
Amy,"Wow, there's a spa in the nut house?",Leela,Ow! Can you please remove this anger collar?
Leela,Ow! Can you please remove this anger collar?,Hermes,Are you still angry?
Hermes,Are you still angry?,Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Hermes,It also shocks you when you lie.
Hermes,It also shocks you when you lie.,Farnsworth,"Quiet, everyone. The network news is on and if I, a 165-year-old man, don't watch it, who will?"
Farnsworth,"Quiet, everyone. The network news is on and if I, a 165-year-old man, don't watch it, who will?",Morbo,"Thankfully, the amazing talking horse was rescued and safely returned to the meat department."
Morbo,"Thankfully, the amazing talking horse was rescued and safely returned to the meat department.",Linda,"Turning to the less stupid portion of our broadcast, fuel prices hit an all-time high today due to the ongoing dark matter shortage."
Linda,"Turning to the less stupid portion of our broadcast, fuel prices hit an all-time high today due to the ongoing dark matter shortage.",Morbo,"Earlier, our own Morbo sat down with Mom, CEO of Mom's Friendly Multinational Energy Conglomerate."
Morbo,"Earlier, our own Morbo sat down with Mom, CEO of Mom's Friendly Multinational Energy Conglomerate.",Morbo,"Thank you for joining us, Mom."
Morbo,"Thank you for joining us, Mom.",Mom,"My pleasure, sugarplum."
Mom,"My pleasure, sugarplum.",Morbo,"Mom, you control the world's only dark matter mine. Why are fuel prices so high?"
Morbo,"Mom, you control the world's only dark matter mine. Why are fuel prices so high?",Mom,"Oh! It's terrible, isn't it? Dark matter is just so rare nowadays, but we'll keep pinching loaf after loaf from the bowels of the earth, even if I lose money on every log."
Mom,"Oh! It's terrible, isn't it? Dark matter is just so rare nowadays, but we'll keep pinching loaf after loaf from the bowels of the earth, even if I lose money on every log.",Morbo,"If you are losing money, how did you post record profits last quarter?"
Morbo,"If you are losing money, how did you post record profits last quarter?",Mom,"You look thin, care for one of my famous pecan clusters?"
Mom,"You look thin, care for one of my famous pecan clusters?",Mom,Do people care enough to drill for dark matter even in an Alaskan wildlife refuge? People do.
Mom,Do people care enough to drill for dark matter even in an Alaskan wildlife refuge? People do.,Leela,"Professor, why are you so hot and dusty over this dark matter shortage?"
Leela,"Professor, why are you so hot and dusty over this dark matter shortage?",Farnsworth,"Oohh... I bet you'd like to know. I bet you'd like to know, indeed."
Farnsworth,"Oohh... I bet you'd like to know. I bet you'd like to know, indeed.",Walt,"Hello, Mother. How did the interview go?"
Walt,"Hello, Mother. How did the interview go?",Mom,It made me want to puke my face off. Where's my Thigh Blaster?
Mom,It made me want to puke my face off. Where's my Thigh Blaster?,Larry,"Right here, Mom."
Larry,"Right here, Mom.",Mom,Shut up!
Mom,Shut up!,Larry,"Okay, thank you."
Larry,"Okay, thank you.",Mom,"Burn, you damn thighs. Burn!"
Mom,"Burn, you damn thighs. Burn!",Igner,"Mommy, are you upset 'cause of the dark matter shortage?"
Igner,"Mommy, are you upset 'cause of the dark matter shortage?",Mom,"There is no shortage, you moronic ass-brain!"
Mom,"There is no shortage, you moronic ass-brain!",Inger,There's not? But you said...
Inger,There's not? But you said...,Mom,Allow me to explain. Suppose this hand represents current reserves of dark matter and this hand represents consumer demand.
Mom,Allow me to explain. Suppose this hand represents current reserves of dark matter and this hand represents consumer demand.,Igner,Uh-huh.
Igner,Uh-huh.,Farnsworth,I just bet you'd like to know why I'm so angry about this dark matter shortage. I bet very much you'd like to know.
Farnsworth,I just bet you'd like to know why I'm so angry about this dark matter shortage. I bet very much you'd like to know.,Amy,"You're right, Professor. We would like to know."
Amy,"You're right, Professor. We would like to know.",Farnsworth,"I was working in Mom's laboratories for the third time after twice before realizing how evil she was and vowing never to work for her again. But somehow the rich, wrong stench of her boney charms kept calling me back."
Farnsworth,"I was working in Mom's laboratories for the third time after twice before realizing how evil she was and vowing never to work for her again. But somehow the rich, wrong stench of her boney charms kept calling me back.",Younger,Farnsworth: Dang!
Younger,Farnsworth: Dang!,Farnsworth,I'm sure I don't need to explain that all dark matter in the universe is linked in the form of a single non-local meta-particle.
Farnsworth,I'm sure I don't need to explain that all dark matter in the universe is linked in the form of a single non-local meta-particle.,Amy,Guhh! Stop patronizing us.
Amy,Guhh! Stop patronizing us.,Farnsworth,to Younger Mom:) ...making it the most potent fuel since primitive man first ignited mastodon flatulence to heat his cave.
Farnsworth,to Younger Mom:) ...making it the most potent fuel since primitive man first ignited mastodon flatulence to heat his cave.,Younger,"Mom: I'm intrigued, Hubert. You have my undivided attention."
Younger,"Mom: I'm intrigued, Hubert. You have my undivided attention.",Younger,"Mom: Shut up, you milk-sucking leeches! A new super fuel, eh? We're rich."
Younger,"Mom: Shut up, you milk-sucking leeches! A new super fuel, eh? We're rich.",Younger,"Farnsworth: Indeed, we are."
Younger,"Farnsworth: Indeed, we are.",Younger,Mom I'm getting back together with my ex-husband.
Younger,Mom I'm getting back together with my ex-husband.,Younger,Farnsworth: Wernstrom!
Younger,Farnsworth: Wernstrom!,Younger,"Wernstrom: You've been played, Farnsworth. Played like a cheap harpsichord."
Younger,"Wernstrom: You've been played, Farnsworth. Played like a cheap harpsichord.",Younger,"Mom: Walt, fire that employee like Mommy taught you."
Younger,"Mom: Walt, fire that employee like Mommy taught you.",Leela,"Professor, maybe I can help you get even with Mom. I spend most of my time thinking about how to get revenge on a bad boss."
Leela,"Professor, maybe I can help you get even with Mom. I spend most of my time thinking about how to get revenge on a bad boss.",Fry,"Me, too."
Fry,"Me, too.",Zoidberg,Ditto!
Zoidberg,Ditto!,Hermes,Likewise.
Hermes,Likewise.,Amy,I made a blinding powder.
Amy,I made a blinding powder.,Farnsworth,"You see, in the instant the energy crystal was created, there also came into being an opposite crystal made of pure anti-backwards energy."
Farnsworth,"You see, in the instant the energy crystal was created, there also came into being an opposite crystal made of pure anti-backwards energy.",ALL,Wow!
ALL,Wow!,Hermes,So?
Hermes,So?,Farnsworth,"So, this! If ever the two crystals should meet, their wave functions would collapse like Raymond Burr's trampoline, once again rendering all dark matter inert and useless as fuel."
Farnsworth,"So, this! If ever the two crystals should meet, their wave functions would collapse like Raymond Burr's trampoline, once again rendering all dark matter inert and useless as fuel.",Hermes,But then we'll have no fuel.
Hermes,But then we'll have no fuel.,Farnsworth,"But once we free society from dependence on Mom's dark matter, scientists will finally care enough to develop cleaner, alternative fuels."
Farnsworth,"But once we free society from dependence on Mom's dark matter, scientists will finally care enough to develop cleaner, alternative fuels.",Fry,Scientists like you!
Fry,Scientists like you!,Farnsworth,"No, not me. I'm too busy developing makeup for dogs. That's where the money is."
Farnsworth,"No, not me. I'm too busy developing makeup for dogs. That's where the money is.",Leela,This is our chance to teach Mom a lesson. Let's take the anti-crystal and shove it up Mom's regular crystal.
Leela,This is our chance to teach Mom a lesson. Let's take the anti-crystal and shove it up Mom's regular crystal.,ALL,Yeah.
ALL,Yeah.,Hermes,Fight the power!
Hermes,Fight the power!,Farnsworth,"There's just one, small problem, and it's a big one. I hid the crystal and I can't remember where."
Farnsworth,"There's just one, small problem, and it's a big one. I hid the crystal and I can't remember where.",Hermes,Surely it's just a matter of waiting till you next move your bowels and then using a potato masher...
Hermes,Surely it's just a matter of waiting till you next move your bowels and then using a potato masher...,Farnsworth,"Don't you think I already tried that? No. I'm afraid, the crystal is lost forever."
Farnsworth,"Don't you think I already tried that? No. I'm afraid, the crystal is lost forever.",Dwight,Nine? You did it. You outwitted the fungus.
Dwight,Nine? You did it. You outwitted the fungus.,ALL,Woohoo!
ALL,Woohoo!,Chinese,Boy: Who needs girls?
Chinese,Boy: Who needs girls?,Dr.,"Perceptron: Since you have all proven resistant to individualized hammer therapy, I now prescribe group therapy."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Since you have all proven resistant to individualized hammer therapy, I now prescribe group therapy.",Rosie,"Everything must be clean, very clean. That's why the dog had to die. He was a dirty dog. Dirty, dirty. Also, that boy, Elroy. Dirty, dirty."
Rosie,"Everything must be clean, very clean. That's why the dog had to die. He was a dirty dog. Dirty, dirty. Also, that boy, Elroy. Dirty, dirty.",Dr.,Perceptron: Who would like to share their feelings?
Dr.,Perceptron: Who would like to share their feelings?,Intercom,Assistant: I feel unappreciated at work.
Intercom,Assistant: I feel unappreciated at work.,Dr.,Perceptron: What? I can barely understand you.
Dr.,Perceptron: What? I can barely understand you.,Intercom,Assistant: I said I feel...
Intercom,Assistant: I said I feel...,Mad,Hatterbot: Change places.
Mad,Hatterbot: Change places.,Dr.,"Perceptron: Calm down, Roberto. Tell us about your childhood."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Calm down, Roberto. Tell us about your childhood.",Roberto,I was designed by a team of engineers attempting to build an insane robot. But it seems they failed.
Roberto,I was designed by a team of engineers attempting to build an insane robot. But it seems they failed.,Convenience,Store Bot
Convenience,Store Bot,Bender,"Look, we have to accept the fact that we all have a serious problem."
Bender,"Look, we have to accept the fact that we all have a serious problem.",Roberto,Amen.
Roberto,Amen.,Dr.,"Perceptron: Good, Bender."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Good, Bender.",Rosie,That's right.
Rosie,That's right.,Bender,"There's a band of river trolls living in the moat and they may have no intention of letting us out of this castle, unless we hand over the Golden Scepter of Zanthor."
Bender,"There's a band of river trolls living in the moat and they may have no intention of letting us out of this castle, unless we hand over the Golden Scepter of Zanthor.",Roberto,Say what? Dude's crazy.
Roberto,Say what? Dude's crazy.,Dr.,"Perceptron: Bender, please, try to..."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Bender, please, try to...",Bender,"I know not of this Bender. I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood."
Bender,"I know not of this Bender. I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood.",Dr.,Perceptron I'm in your seat. I forgot we had changed places.
Dr.,Perceptron I'm in your seat. I forgot we had changed places.,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone!"
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone!",Amy,You perfected dog mascara?
Amy,You perfected dog mascara?,Farnsworth,"When I push this button, the crystal will emit a high-frequency stink."
Farnsworth,"When I push this button, the crystal will emit a high-frequency stink.",Zoidberg,Hurray!
Zoidberg,Hurray!,Farnsworth,I just pray to all powerful Atheismo that we find it before Mom does.
Farnsworth,I just pray to all powerful Atheismo that we find it before Mom does.,Hermes,"Do you smell the crystal, Professor?"
Hermes,"Do you smell the crystal, Professor?",Farnsworth,"No, damn it! Just the alluring scent of Obsession for spaniels."
Farnsworth,"No, damn it! Just the alluring scent of Obsession for spaniels.",Dwight,Dude. Who whipped an egger?
Dwight,Dude. Who whipped an egger?,CubertHe,"who smelled it, dealt it."
CubertHe,"who smelled it, dealt it.",Dwight,"Well, he who denied it, supplied it."
Dwight,"Well, he who denied it, supplied it.",Cubert,"Well, he who articulated it, particulated it."
Cubert,"Well, he who articulated it, particulated it.",Dwight,"Well, he who refuted it, tooted it."
Dwight,"Well, he who refuted it, tooted it.",Cubert,Stalemate.
Cubert,Stalemate.,Mom,Jesus craps. The anti-backwards crystal.
Mom,Jesus craps. The anti-backwards crystal.,Larry,Ow! Ah... sorry?
Larry,Ow! Ah... sorry?,Mom,"With that crystal, Farnsworth could completely destroy my dark matter empire. I underestimated that sagging old bag of bones and gonads."
Mom,"With that crystal, Farnsworth could completely destroy my dark matter empire. I underestimated that sagging old bag of bones and gonads.",Inger,Is that man bad?
Inger,Is that man bad?,Mom,"Very bad, Igner. And that's why I need you three to go steal the anti-crystal away from him. But be careful. You'll need all your stoogely cunning."
Mom,"Very bad, Igner. And that's why I need you three to go steal the anti-crystal away from him. But be careful. You'll need all your stoogely cunning.",Walt,Exterminators.
Walt,Exterminators.,Fry,"Oh, great. What do we got? Wall gophers? Toilet snails?"
Fry,"Oh, great. What do we got? Wall gophers? Toilet snails?",Walt,"No, I'm afraid you've got owls. Over there, see?"
Walt,"No, I'm afraid you've got owls. Over there, see?",Igner,Ow!
Igner,Ow!,Walt,"Dump the bag, you nitwit."
Walt,"Dump the bag, you nitwit.",Walt,Ow!
Walt,Ow!,Fry,"I was looking over there for a long time but I didn't see any... Oh, there they are. Gross."
Fry,"I was looking over there for a long time but I didn't see any... Oh, there they are. Gross.",Walt,"We've got to act fast. Larry, get out the geigersniffer."
Walt,"We've got to act fast. Larry, get out the geigersniffer.",Larry,You're just gonna hit me with it.
Larry,You're just gonna hit me with it.,Fry,Those three exterminators are hilarious.
Fry,Those three exterminators are hilarious.,Amy,Really? I don't think so.
Amy,Really? I don't think so.,Leela,"Me, neither. Now, Sex and the City, that's funny."
Leela,"Me, neither. Now, Sex and the City, that's funny.",Dwight,wander aimlessly in the swamp.
Dwight,wander aimlessly in the swamp.,Cubert,"Uh, excuse you."
Cubert,"Uh, excuse you.",Walt,"I'm sorry, little boy. You see, we're owl exterminators."
Walt,"I'm sorry, little boy. You see, we're owl exterminators.",Igner,Ow!
Igner,Ow!,Walt,"And what we have here is an owl egg that's about to hatch into an owl larva. So, if you don't mind, we'll just take this and..."
Walt,"And what we have here is an owl egg that's about to hatch into an owl larva. So, if you don't mind, we'll just take this and...",Cubert,"What are you, stupid? That's a dodecahedral crystal I found hidden in the downstairs walrus tank."
Cubert,"What are you, stupid? That's a dodecahedral crystal I found hidden in the downstairs walrus tank.",Dwight,"And I wrote numbers on it so we could use it as a D12, 'cause I have the best handwriting."
Dwight,"And I wrote numbers on it so we could use it as a D12, 'cause I have the best handwriting.",Cubert,Do not.
Cubert,Do not.,Dwight,Do too.
Dwight,Do too.,Cubert,Do not.
Cubert,Do not.,Dwight,Do too.
Dwight,Do too.,Cubert,You win this round.
Cubert,You win this round.,Farnsworth,What's going on here?
Farnsworth,What's going on here?,Igner,We're owl exterminators.
Igner,We're owl exterminators.,Farnsworth,Oh? Then you won't have any problem exterminating this owl.
Farnsworth,Oh? Then you won't have any problem exterminating this owl.,Farnsworth,"My anti-backwards crystal. So it's you three. I should have known Mom would send her brainless brood to do her dirty work. Walt, the leader among imbeciles."
Farnsworth,"My anti-backwards crystal. So it's you three. I should have known Mom would send her brainless brood to do her dirty work. Walt, the leader among imbeciles.",Walt,Hey! They resent that.
Walt,Hey! They resent that.,Farnsworth,"Larry, the snivelling middle child."
Farnsworth,"Larry, the snivelling middle child.",Larry,Sorry. Thank you.
Larry,Sorry. Thank you.,Igner,We're owl exterminators.
Igner,We're owl exterminators.,Igner,Thanks for the crystal.
Igner,Thanks for the crystal.,Fry,There. The repairs are complete.
Fry,There. The repairs are complete.,Farnsworth,Rake up some dark matter and top off the tank.
Farnsworth,Rake up some dark matter and top off the tank.,Leela,"Well, there isn't any dark matter. Nibbler hasn't pooped at all. And he ate a whole family of koalas last night. Nibbler! Nibbler!"
Leela,"Well, there isn't any dark matter. Nibbler hasn't pooped at all. And he ate a whole family of koalas last night. Nibbler! Nibbler!",Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Dr.,"Perceptron: Even relaxation therapy has failed. Nurse, schedule a robotomy for Bender."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Even relaxation therapy has failed. Nurse, schedule a robotomy for Bender.",Nurse,"Ratchet: Yes, Doctor. I'll get the tools from the shed."
Nurse,"Ratchet: Yes, Doctor. I'll get the tools from the shed.",Dr.,"Perceptron: It's a very painful procedure. So until then, just try to relax."
Dr.,"Perceptron: It's a very painful procedure. So until then, just try to relax.",Mom,What are you laughing at?
Mom,What are you laughing at?,Larry,Your laugh. It's just so infectious.
Larry,Your laugh. It's just so infectious.,Mom,"So's herpes. Now, shut up! You and Walt, lead the killbots to the surface and blow Farnsworth out of the sky."
Mom,"So's herpes. Now, shut up! You and Walt, lead the killbots to the surface and blow Farnsworth out of the sky.",Walt,What about Igner?
Walt,What about Igner?,Mom,That hairless ape? I swear. When he came out I flipped a coin whether to keep him or the after-birth.
Mom,That hairless ape? I swear. When he came out I flipped a coin whether to keep him or the after-birth.,Walt,"Yes, Mother. You told that story at his graduation."
Walt,"Yes, Mother. You told that story at his graduation.",Mom,"I'm afraid he can't be trusted on this mission. You see, there is a terrible secret about Igner I've never told anyone. And here it is."
Mom,"I'm afraid he can't be trusted on this mission. You see, there is a terrible secret about Igner I've never told anyone. And here it is.",Walt,Continue returning fire.
Walt,Continue returning fire.,Killbot,1 What?
Killbot,1 What?,Killbot,2 What did they say?
Killbot,2 What did they say?,Killbot,1: I don't know. I can't hear a thing.
Killbot,1: I don't know. I can't hear a thing.,Killbot,"3 Hey, what's everybody talking about?"
Killbot,"3 Hey, what's everybody talking about?",Farnsworth,We weren't actually in the ship.
Farnsworth,We weren't actually in the ship.,Leela,"Okay, team, these red-hot, razor-sharp fans are the only safe way into the mine."
Leela,"Okay, team, these red-hot, razor-sharp fans are the only safe way into the mine.",Elevator,Steward: Maintenance shaft 7 serving...
Elevator,Steward: Maintenance shaft 7 serving...,Farnsworth,Shut your mouth.
Farnsworth,Shut your mouth.,Elevator,Steward: I'm just talking about the shaft.
Elevator,Steward: I'm just talking about the shaft.,Fry,"Jeez, doesn't that shock collar hurt?"
Fry,"Jeez, doesn't that shock collar hurt?",Leela,"Actually, feels kind of good. I guess I'm starting to associate it with the pleasure of beating people up."
Leela,"Actually, feels kind of good. I guess I'm starting to associate it with the pleasure of beating people up.",Walt,"We shot them down, Mother. The intruders never even got to Sector 1."
Walt,"We shot them down, Mother. The intruders never even got to Sector 1.",Security,Woman (on PA): Intruders in Sector 15. Intruders in Sector 15.
Security,Woman (on PA): Intruders in Sector 15. Intruders in Sector 15.,Mom,All Killbots to Sector 15.
Mom,All Killbots to Sector 15.,Killbot,1 What did she say?
Killbot,1 What did she say?,Killbot,2
Killbot,2,Fry,"There are so many killbots behind us I can't count them all. Three, I think."
Fry,"There are so many killbots behind us I can't count them all. Three, I think.",Leela,We're trapped.
Leela,We're trapped.,Farnsworth,The main pit must be in here. I'm detecting vast quantities of Dark Matter.
Farnsworth,The main pit must be in here. I'm detecting vast quantities of Dark Matter.,Leela,My God! This isn't a crap mine. It's a crap farm.
Leela,My God! This isn't a crap mine. It's a crap farm.,Fry,Is there really so much of a distinction? I mean...
Fry,Is there really so much of a distinction? I mean...,Nibbler,"Leela, it's me, Nibbler."
Nibbler,"Leela, it's me, Nibbler.",Leela,"Oh, my God, you look horrible, Nibbler. I think I'm going to vomit."
Leela,"Oh, my God, you look horrible, Nibbler. I think I'm going to vomit.",Nibblonian,Nibbler is over there.
Nibblonian,Nibbler is over there.,Leela,"Oh, sorry. Nibbler!"
Leela,"Oh, sorry. Nibbler!",Fry,playing too much Dungeons & Dragons.
Fry,playing too much Dungeons & Dragons.,Bender,"I know not of this Bender. I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood."
Bender,"I know not of this Bender. I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood.",Dr.,"Perceptron: Please, send in the patient."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Please, send in the patient.",Bender,Wee!
Bender,Wee!,Leela,Ouch!
Leela,Ouch!,Fry,"Jeez, doesn't that shock collar hurt?"
Fry,"Jeez, doesn't that shock collar hurt?",Leela,"Actually, I guess I'm starting to associate it with the pleasure of beating people up."
Leela,"Actually, I guess I'm starting to associate it with the pleasure of beating people up.",Morbo,"Mom, you control the world's only dark matter mine."
Morbo,"Mom, you control the world's only dark matter mine.",Leela,"Oh, my poor little snuzzy-wuzzams. Are they treating you okay?"
Leela,"Oh, my poor little snuzzy-wuzzams. Are they treating you okay?",Nibbler,Those are good. You've got to help us.
Nibbler,Those are good. You've got to help us.,Nibblonians,Help us!
Nibblonians,Help us!,Nibblonian,"Help us, for God's sakes!"
Nibblonian,"Help us, for God's sakes!",Leela,Nibbler made a bo-bo.
Leela,Nibbler made a bo-bo.,Nibbler,"But not on my terms. I will not be treated like... Hey, wait, aren't you amazed I can speak?"
Nibbler,"But not on my terms. I will not be treated like... Hey, wait, aren't you amazed I can speak?",Fry,"Well, actually, no. You forgot to blank our memories after you spoke last time."
Fry,"Well, actually, no. You forgot to blank our memories after you spoke last time.",Nibbler,Then why did you let me eat Friskies and make bo-bo in a litter box?
Nibbler,Then why did you let me eat Friskies and make bo-bo in a litter box?,Fry,"Well, you're cuter that way."
Fry,"Well, you're cuter that way.",Farnsworth,Cute as a baby's buttocks.
Farnsworth,Cute as a baby's buttocks.,Leela,So what happened? How did Mom capture all you Nibblonians?
Leela,So what happened? How did Mom capture all you Nibblonians?,Nibbler,"I was Supreme Fuzzler of a Nibblonian scientific outpost. It was paradise, until they came. One of your DOOP ships struck dark matter, little realizing it was not a natural deposit, but rather centuries of Nibblonian fecal material."
Nibbler,"I was Supreme Fuzzler of a Nibblonian scientific outpost. It was paradise, until they came. One of your DOOP ships struck dark matter, little realizing it was not a natural deposit, but rather centuries of Nibblonian fecal material.",Fry,The big faecal enchilada. Anyone else hungry?
Fry,The big faecal enchilada. Anyone else hungry?,Nibbler,The DOOP contracted a ruthless businesswoman to spearhead the mining operation.
Nibbler,The DOOP contracted a ruthless businesswoman to spearhead the mining operation.,Leela,Let me guess. Mom?
Leela,Let me guess. Mom?,Nibbler,The very same.
Nibbler,The very same.,Fry,Can I also guess Mom?
Fry,Can I also guess Mom?,Nibbler,"To reduce cost she started a new enterprise, Mom's Friendly Robots, to build robot slaves. Remember this was back in the days before Robot Lincoln."
Nibbler,"To reduce cost she started a new enterprise, Mom's Friendly Robots, to build robot slaves. Remember this was back in the days before Robot Lincoln.",Mom,"Faster, faster!"
Mom,"Faster, faster!",Robot,Slave: I'm going exactly as fast as you built me to go.
Robot,Slave: I'm going exactly as fast as you built me to go.,Mom,"Oh, wise guy, huh?"
Mom,"Oh, wise guy, huh?",Robot,Slave: Ow!
Robot,Slave: Ow!,Igner,Eww!
Igner,Eww!,Nibbler,"Unbeknownst to me, Mom captured my colleagues and enslaved them here in this... this... crap farm."
Nibbler,"Unbeknownst to me, Mom captured my colleagues and enslaved them here in this... this... crap farm.",Nibblonian,"There's nothing to do but eat and crap, eat and crap. It's like visiting my parents."
Nibblonian,"There's nothing to do but eat and crap, eat and crap. It's like visiting my parents.",Nibbler,"As for me, I emerged from behind the bush of many uses to find I had been left behind. I was doomed, doomed."
Nibbler,"As for me, I emerged from behind the bush of many uses to find I had been left behind. I was doomed, doomed.",Leela,"Hello, there."
Leela,"Hello, there.",Nibbler,"Startled, my cuteness reflex kicked in."
Nibbler,"Startled, my cuteness reflex kicked in.",Leela,I'll call him Nibbler.
Leela,I'll call him Nibbler.,Leela,"But then, how did you end up here with the others?"
Leela,"But then, how did you end up here with the others?",Nibbler,I was kidnapped yesterday by Mom's vile sons in their moronic disguises.
Nibbler,I was kidnapped yesterday by Mom's vile sons in their moronic disguises.,Igner,Do you have the crysal?
Igner,Do you have the crysal?,Farnsworth,"It's pronounced crystal, you lump."
Farnsworth,"It's pronounced crystal, you lump.",Walt,Did you see anyone?
Walt,Did you see anyone?,Igner,Me?
Igner,Me?,Walt,"Yes, you. You're the only one here."
Walt,"Yes, you. You're the only one here.",Igner,"If I'm the only one here, then how could I see anyone?"
Igner,"If I'm the only one here, then how could I see anyone?",Larry,"He's got a point, Walt."
Larry,"He's got a point, Walt.",Walt,So does my knee.
Walt,So does my knee.,Fry,This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the chickens.
Fry,This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the chickens.,Nurse,"Ratchet: Don't worry, those clamps are for my own protection."
Nurse,"Ratchet: Don't worry, those clamps are for my own protection.",Dr.,"Perceptron: Do you know where you are, Bender?"
Dr.,"Perceptron: Do you know where you are, Bender?",Bender,"Sure do, I'm in the magical land of Cornwood, frolicking with wenches."
Bender,"Sure do, I'm in the magical land of Cornwood, frolicking with wenches.",Dr.,Perceptron
Dr.,Perceptron,Nurse,Ratchet: Can't you just use the access panel?
Nurse,Ratchet: Can't you just use the access panel?,Dr.,Perceptron: Either way is fine.
Dr.,Perceptron: Either way is fine.,Bender,Does anyone else smell burning dragon beak?
Bender,Does anyone else smell burning dragon beak?,Mom,I know Farnsworth's game. He is going to try to poke his clammy old crystal at my hot fiery crystal.
Mom,I know Farnsworth's game. He is going to try to poke his clammy old crystal at my hot fiery crystal.,Larry,Mom!
Larry,Mom!,Mom,Wham! All my dark matter will be worthless.
Mom,Wham! All my dark matter will be worthless.,Mom,Get them!
Mom,Get them!,Leela,Ooh. That feels good.
Leela,Ooh. That feels good.,Mom,"Oh, the freaking battery's dead. Walt, where's the charger?"
Mom,"Oh, the freaking battery's dead. Walt, where's the charger?",Mom,Damn tangled mess of wires.
Mom,Damn tangled mess of wires.,Mom,"Hang on. I'm on it. Okay, there!"
Mom,"Hang on. I'm on it. Okay, there!",Fry,"Save us, Catman."
Fry,"Save us, Catman.",Mom,"It's over, Hubert. Give me the anti-backwards crystal."
Mom,"It's over, Hubert. Give me the anti-backwards crystal.",Dr.,"Perceptron: I will now delicately jerk out your imagination, severing fantasy's grip on your nerd-circuit."
Dr.,"Perceptron: I will now delicately jerk out your imagination, severing fantasy's grip on your nerd-circuit.",Dr.,Perceptron: Illogical. Illogical.
Dr.,Perceptron: Illogical. Illogical.,Nurse,Ratchet
Nurse,Ratchet,Mom,"Oh, what now?"
Mom,"Oh, what now?",Frydo,"This is crazy. Ow! What the... You okay, Leela?"
Frydo,"This is crazy. Ow! What the... You okay, Leela?",Leegola,I think so.
Leegola,I think so.,Leegola,"Oh, Lord. I'm half-horse and half-naked."
Leegola,"Oh, Lord. I'm half-horse and half-naked.",Frydo,"Where the hell are we, hell?"
Frydo,"Where the hell are we, hell?",Frydo,Bender?
Frydo,Bender?,Titanius,Anglesmith: I know not of this Bender. I'm Titanius Anglesmith. Welcome to Cornwood!
Titanius,Anglesmith: I know not of this Bender. I'm Titanius Anglesmith. Welcome to Cornwood!,Titanius,"Anglesmith: Wretched peasants, put aside your cares and feast on the succulent flesh of the roast munchkin!"
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Wretched peasants, put aside your cares and feast on the succulent flesh of the roast munchkin!",Peasent,Cook: Care for a slice of scroto?
Peasent,Cook: Care for a slice of scroto?,Frydo,"Uh... that's his name, right?"
Frydo,"Uh... that's his name, right?",Peasent,"Cook: 'Tis also that, sir."
Peasent,"Cook: 'Tis also that, sir.",Titanius,Anglesmith
Titanius,Anglesmith,Dwarf,My ankle!
Dwarf,My ankle!,Titanius,Anglesmith: To the kitchen with him!
Titanius,Anglesmith: To the kitchen with him!,Dwarf,"Wait! Wait! Wait! I do impressions. Behold! The swamp hag: Get out of my swamp, you kids!"
Dwarf,"Wait! Wait! Wait! I do impressions. Behold! The swamp hag: Get out of my swamp, you kids!",Titanius,Anglesmith: Don't let him get too crispy.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Don't let him get too crispy.,Calculon,Lord Anglesmith.
Calculon,Lord Anglesmith.,Titanius,"Anglesmith: You have ridden hard, noble squire. May I offer you a horn of ale and a shank of dwarf?"
Titanius,"Anglesmith: You have ridden hard, noble squire. May I offer you a horn of ale and a shank of dwarf?",Calculon,"'Tis dire news, sire. Dark riders approach."
Calculon,"'Tis dire news, sire. Dark riders approach.",Titanius,Anglesmith Frydo! Saddle up that trusty steed.
Titanius,Anglesmith Frydo! Saddle up that trusty steed.,Frydo,What's happening? And why am I enjoying it so much?
Frydo,What's happening? And why am I enjoying it so much?,Titanius,Anglesmith: Foul beast-bags! Meet thy doom!
Titanius,Anglesmith: Foul beast-bags! Meet thy doom!,Waltazar,Follow me.
Waltazar,Follow me.,Waltazar,"Damn thee, Ignus."
Waltazar,"Damn thee, Ignus.",Larius,"Well, you said to follow you."
Larius,"Well, you said to follow you.",Larius,The Die of Power! He's rolling it.
Larius,The Die of Power! He's rolling it.,Waltazar,"Oh, no!"
Waltazar,"Oh, no!",Titanius,Anglesmith
Titanius,Anglesmith,Die,of Power
Die,of Power,Titanius,Anglesmith: Banish foes? Cool.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Banish foes? Cool.,Waltazar,No! No!
Waltazar,No! No!,Larius,"I got to say, I had no idea the Die of Power was so powerful."
Larius,"I got to say, I had no idea the Die of Power was so powerful.",Swamp,"Hag: Get out of my swamp, you kids!"
Swamp,"Hag: Get out of my swamp, you kids!",Leegola,What else can we slay? Is that a hobbit over there?
Leegola,What else can we slay? Is that a hobbit over there?,Frydo,"Thank God, an outhouse."
Frydo,"Thank God, an outhouse.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: Hush! This be no outhouse, but the lair of the great wizard Grayfarn."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Hush! This be no outhouse, but the lair of the great wizard Grayfarn.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: 'Tis I, Titanius."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: 'Tis I, Titanius.",Titanius,"Anglesmith Methinks the wizard be casting a powerful spell, indeed."
Titanius,"Anglesmith Methinks the wizard be casting a powerful spell, indeed.",Greyfarn,"Come in! Come in! Yes. 'Tis a powerful object in both our worlds. If you failed to destroy it in yours, perhaps you were brought here that you might have a second chance."
Greyfarn,"Come in! Come in! Yes. 'Tis a powerful object in both our worlds. If you failed to destroy it in yours, perhaps you were brought here that you might have a second chance.",Frydo,"So, this land is real?"
Frydo,"So, this land is real?",Greyfarn,"Oh, dreadfully real. If you die here, you'll really be dead. But instead of science, we believe in crazy hocus-pocus. It's like Kansas."
Greyfarn,"Oh, dreadfully real. If you die here, you'll really be dead. But instead of science, we believe in crazy hocus-pocus. It's like Kansas.",Leegola,God help us.
Leegola,God help us.,Greyfarn,"Deep in the Geysers of Gygax, Momon herself injection-molded the Dice of Power from the living plastic."
Greyfarn,"Deep in the Geysers of Gygax, Momon herself injection-molded the Dice of Power from the living plastic.",Momon,"Damn, these are hot."
Momon,"Damn, these are hot.",Leegola,Ah ha! In our universe she's called Mom.
Leegola,Ah ha! In our universe she's called Mom.,Titanius,Anglesmith
Titanius,Anglesmith,Greyfarn,"Don't be foolish, Titanius. If you had paid attention in freshman alchemy, instead of frequenting the bawdyhouse, you'd know there's only one way to destroy it. In the boiling plastic from which it was molded."
Greyfarn,"Don't be foolish, Titanius. If you had paid attention in freshman alchemy, instead of frequenting the bawdyhouse, you'd know there's only one way to destroy it. In the boiling plastic from which it was molded.",Frydo,Like that machine that makes wax lions at the zoo.
Frydo,Like that machine that makes wax lions at the zoo.,Greyfarn,"Quiet, you. We must infiltrate the Geysers of Gygax, the impenetrable stronghold of Momon."
Greyfarn,"Quiet, you. We must infiltrate the Geysers of Gygax, the impenetrable stronghold of Momon.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: Impossible. Impossible, I say."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Impossible. Impossible, I say.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: Verily, our quest has begun."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Verily, our quest has begun.",Hermaphrodite,Stop right there.
Hermaphrodite,Stop right there.,Frydo,Hermes?
Frydo,Hermes?,Leegola,He's a centaur like me.
Leegola,He's a centaur like me.,Frydo,You wish.
Frydo,You wish.,Hermaphrodite,"I am Hermaphrodite, most beautiful of centaurs. Gaze upon me and weep at my loveliness."
Hermaphrodite,"I am Hermaphrodite, most beautiful of centaurs. Gaze upon me and weep at my loveliness.",Greyfarn,Very well.
Greyfarn,Very well.,Titanius,"Anglesmith: Loveliest of centaurs, we seek to end Momon's reign of evil. Have you stout fighters at your command?"
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Loveliest of centaurs, we seek to end Momon's reign of evil. Have you stout fighters at your command?",Hermaphrodite,Fire!
Hermaphrodite,Fire!,Titanius,Anglesmith
Titanius,Anglesmith,Leegola,I knew it. My people are mighty warriors. Our enemies will be like Swiss cheese with blood coming out of the holes.
Leegola,I knew it. My people are mighty warriors. Our enemies will be like Swiss cheese with blood coming out of the holes.,Female,Centaur: We centaurs are creatures of peace.
Female,Centaur: We centaurs are creatures of peace.,Leegola,"Oh, Lord."
Leegola,"Oh, Lord.",Hermaphrodite,"Violence is never justified. We shall not join your quest. And furthermore, if mayhem be your intent, you may not cross our lands."
Hermaphrodite,"Violence is never justified. We shall not join your quest. And furthermore, if mayhem be your intent, you may not cross our lands.",Leegola,Or what?
Leegola,Or what?,Hermaphrodite,Or... Uh... Mmm?
Hermaphrodite,Or... Uh... Mmm?,Greyfarn,"We're not there, we're here."
Greyfarn,"We're not there, we're here.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: No, this way."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: No, this way.",Greyfarn,"I mean, here."
Greyfarn,"I mean, here.",Greyfarn,"Thank you, kindly, Treedledum."
Greyfarn,"Thank you, kindly, Treedledum.",Treedledum,Okey-doke. Anything else I can do?
Treedledum,Okey-doke. Anything else I can do?,Leegola,You know who I'm gonna miss? That tree guy.
Leegola,You know who I'm gonna miss? That tree guy.,Greyfarn,"Bad news, fancy men. Momon's guards stand watch at the pass. 'Tis as if she somehow anticipated us."
Greyfarn,"Bad news, fancy men. Momon's guards stand watch at the pass. 'Tis as if she somehow anticipated us.",Titanius,Anglesmith: And so our quest comes to an end. I only regret not giving up sooner.
Titanius,Anglesmith: And so our quest comes to an end. I only regret not giving up sooner.,Greyfarn,"Fret not, Titanius. For we still have one hope, the Cave of Hopelessness."
Greyfarn,"Fret not, Titanius. For we still have one hope, the Cave of Hopelessness.",Titanius,Anglesmith: Let me know how that turns out.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Let me know how that turns out.,Ogre,Halt. Are you on the list? I'm not seeing you on the list.
Ogre,Halt. Are you on the list? I'm not seeing you on the list.,Leegola,I'll split this doofus in half.
Leegola,I'll split this doofus in half.,Titanius,"Anglesmith: Wait, I got it. Yeah. My cousin's in the band. The band of merry men. Please, we were already in there. I just need to go back for my coat."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Wait, I got it. Yeah. My cousin's in the band. The band of merry men. Please, we were already in there. I just need to go back for my coat.",Gynecaladriel,"I am Gynecaladriel, queen of the water nymphos."
Gynecaladriel,"I am Gynecaladriel, queen of the water nymphos.",Leegola,All right. I'll split this doofus in half.
Leegola,All right. I'll split this doofus in half.,Gynecaladriel,"Behold, the deed is done."
Gynecaladriel,"Behold, the deed is done.",Titanius,Anglesmith: Hi oh!
Titanius,Anglesmith: Hi oh!,Frydo,"Mr. Wizard, why is this place called the Cave of Hopelessness?"
Frydo,"Mr. Wizard, why is this place called the Cave of Hopelessness?",Greyfarn,"Oh, fear not, lad. 'Tis named for its discoverer, Reginald Hopelessness..."
Greyfarn,"Oh, fear not, lad. 'Tis named for its discoverer, Reginald Hopelessness...",Frydo,Whew!
Frydo,Whew!,Greyfarn,...the first man to be eaten alive by the Tunneling Horror.
Greyfarn,...the first man to be eaten alive by the Tunneling Horror.,Frydo,What's that? The Tunneling Horror?
Frydo,What's that? The Tunneling Horror?,Gynecaladriel,"No, it's morcs."
Gynecaladriel,"No, it's morcs.",Morcs,"Hey, listen. Nanu, nanu. Shazbot."
Morcs,"Hey, listen. Nanu, nanu. Shazbot.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: Oh, God, no. They're so aggravating."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Oh, God, no. They're so aggravating.",Morcs,"Mindy, Mindy, Mindy."
Morcs,"Mindy, Mindy, Mindy.",Gynecaladriel,Shut up! Shut up!
Gynecaladriel,Shut up! Shut up!,Morcs,"Oh, fantastic. Oh, fantastic. Oh, wonderful."
Morcs,"Oh, fantastic. Oh, fantastic. Oh, wonderful.",Frydo,Maybe it'll go away if we just don't laugh at it.
Frydo,Maybe it'll go away if we just don't laugh at it.,Titanius,Anglesmith: It doesn't.
Titanius,Anglesmith: It doesn't.,Frydo,Uh-oh.
Frydo,Uh-oh.,Zoidberg,Enough already with the banging and the swashbuckling.
Zoidberg,Enough already with the banging and the swashbuckling.,Zoidberg,"Again? What, am I talking to myself over here?"
Zoidberg,"Again? What, am I talking to myself over here?",Zoidberg,"Okay. Now, I'm getting a little mad even."
Zoidberg,"Okay. Now, I'm getting a little mad even.",Frydo,"Leela, it's over. You killed him enough."
Frydo,"Leela, it's over. You killed him enough.",Leegola,I'm not taking any chances with the Tunneling Horror.
Leegola,I'm not taking any chances with the Tunneling Horror.,Leegola,"So, you're just an innocent monster. Oh, God. What have I done?"
Leegola,"So, you're just an innocent monster. Oh, God. What have I done?",Zoidberg,Oh! There he goes again.
Zoidberg,Oh! There he goes again.,Fry,playing too much Dungeons & Dragons.
Fry,playing too much Dungeons & Dragons.,Bender,"I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood."
Bender,"I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood.",Younger,"Mom: A new super fuel, eh?"
Younger,"Mom: A new super fuel, eh?",Mom,Wham! All my dark matter will be worthless.
Mom,Wham! All my dark matter will be worthless.,Mom,Give me the anti-backwards crystal.
Mom,Give me the anti-backwards crystal.,Titanius,Anglesmith: Welcome to Cornwood!
Titanius,Anglesmith: Welcome to Cornwood!,Frydo,What's happening? And why am I enjoying it so much?
Frydo,What's happening? And why am I enjoying it so much?,Leegola,I'm not taking any chances with the Tunneling Horror.
Leegola,I'm not taking any chances with the Tunneling Horror.,Titanius,Anglesmith
Titanius,Anglesmith,Frydo,"Why aren't you killing it, Leela? You love killing."
Frydo,"Why aren't you killing it, Leela? You love killing.",Leegola,"No, no more killing."
Leegola,"No, no more killing.",Zoidberg,"Oh! So, suddenly, Miss Goody Four-shoes over here doesn't kill anymore. She killed me not five minutes ago. What am I? Chopped liver?"
Zoidberg,"Oh! So, suddenly, Miss Goody Four-shoes over here doesn't kill anymore. She killed me not five minutes ago. What am I? Chopped liver?",Zoidberg,Ow! Stop chopping my liver.
Zoidberg,Ow! Stop chopping my liver.,Frydo,"All right. I may be weak and I may be small, but I don't see how I can possibly destroy that monster. Guess I'll just huck whatever's in my pockets at him. At least I can say I tried."
Frydo,"All right. I may be weak and I may be small, but I don't see how I can possibly destroy that monster. Guess I'll just huck whatever's in my pockets at him. At least I can say I tried.",Titanius,Anglesmith: Any time now.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Any time now.,Frydo,The Die of Power. I forgot to remember to roll it.
Frydo,The Die of Power. I forgot to remember to roll it.,Die,of Power: Three.
Die,of Power: Three.,Frydo,"Wow, that was intense. You guys got to try the Die of Power."
Frydo,"Wow, that was intense. You guys got to try the Die of Power.",Titanius,Anglesmith: I'll take a hit.
Titanius,Anglesmith: I'll take a hit.,Greyfarn,"Resist the allure of the die. For to defeat Momon, we must melt it in the super bombastic, bubbling plastic from whence it came."
Greyfarn,"Resist the allure of the die. For to defeat Momon, we must melt it in the super bombastic, bubbling plastic from whence it came.",Greyfarn,"We must melt it in the super bombastic, bubbling plastic from whence it came."
Greyfarn,"We must melt it in the super bombastic, bubbling plastic from whence it came.",Momon,I send you to kill them and they're not even maimed? That's what I get for sending boys to do a mom's job.
Momon,I send you to kill them and they're not even maimed? That's what I get for sending boys to do a mom's job.,Larius,"Sorry, Mom."
Larius,"Sorry, Mom.",Momon,You're up.
Momon,You're up.,Ignus,I like this part but I don't like...
Ignus,I like this part but I don't like...,Centaur,"Opponent: You are an able opponent, Hermaphrodite. But hear me well when I posit that we must abhor violence in all its forms."
Centaur,"Opponent: You are an able opponent, Hermaphrodite. But hear me well when I posit that we must abhor violence in all its forms.",Hermaphrodite,I offer a dissenting opinion.
Hermaphrodite,I offer a dissenting opinion.,Hermaphrodite,Ah! Don't hurt me.
Hermaphrodite,Ah! Don't hurt me.,Leegola,"I'm not here to hurt you. Or anything ever again. Please, teach me the centaurs' ways of wimpiness."
Leegola,"I'm not here to hurt you. Or anything ever again. Please, teach me the centaurs' ways of wimpiness.",Hermaphrodite,What do you offer in return?
Hermaphrodite,What do you offer in return?,Titanius,Anglesmith Ow!
Titanius,Anglesmith Ow!,Greyfarn,"We're close now, my friends. So close, I can practically feel the heat of the fiery molten plastic."
Greyfarn,"We're close now, my friends. So close, I can practically feel the heat of the fiery molten plastic.",Gynecaladriel,You're standing in the fire.
Gynecaladriel,You're standing in the fire.,Greyfarn,"Alas, our path is blocked by Momon's army of evil. As well as her navy of moral dubiousness."
Greyfarn,"Alas, our path is blocked by Momon's army of evil. As well as her navy of moral dubiousness.",Titanius,Anglesmith: Mayhaps we might raise an army of our own. We're but an hour's ride from Wipe Castle.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Mayhaps we might raise an army of our own. We're but an hour's ride from Wipe Castle.,Greyfarn,"Of course. Wipe Castle. And while we're there, we can get some of those greasy little dwarf burgers."
Greyfarn,"Of course. Wipe Castle. And while we're there, we can get some of those greasy little dwarf burgers.",Gynecaladriel,Ooh! I love those. You can eat like eight of them without gaining any weight because of all the diarrhea.
Gynecaladriel,Ooh! I love those. You can eat like eight of them without gaining any weight because of all the diarrhea.,Momon,We've got them now. Send all our forces against Wipe Castle.
Momon,We've got them now. Send all our forces against Wipe Castle.,Waltazar,"Right away, Mother. I'll just leave a small contingent behind in case..."
Waltazar,"Right away, Mother. I'll just leave a small contingent behind in case...",Momon,"I said, everything. Peaches!"
Momon,"I said, everything. Peaches!",Peaches,(offscreen): I'm in the tub.
Peaches,(offscreen): I'm in the tub.,Momon,"Waltazar, you and Larius shall lead the assault."
Momon,"Waltazar, you and Larius shall lead the assault.",Waltazar,What about Ignus?
Waltazar,What about Ignus?,Momon,"I'm afraid he can't be trusted on this mission. You see, there is a terrible secret about Ignus I've never told anyone. And here it is."
Momon,"I'm afraid he can't be trusted on this mission. You see, there is a terrible secret about Ignus I've never told anyone. And here it is.",Frydo,They all wants it. They wants the dodecalicious.
Frydo,They all wants it. They wants the dodecalicious.,Reflection,"Host: Tell you what, you want to defend a magic artifact, and I mean, defend it good, then what you need is a top-quality knife."
Reflection,"Host: Tell you what, you want to defend a magic artifact, and I mean, defend it good, then what you need is a top-quality knife.",Frydo,Me is listening.
Frydo,Me is listening.,Reflection,"Host: The Eviscerator is one of the finest, if not the finest, tactical folder on the market today. We're talking 440 stainless, quick release and... I don't believe this. Is this a stag horn handle at this price?"
Reflection,"Host: The Eviscerator is one of the finest, if not the finest, tactical folder on the market today. We're talking 440 stainless, quick release and... I don't believe this. Is this a stag horn handle at this price?",Reflection,"Host 2: It is, yeah. It's a stag horn."
Reflection,"Host 2: It is, yeah. It's a stag horn.",Reflection,"Host: At this price? You have got to be kidding me. That's got to be some kind of mistake, right there."
Reflection,"Host: At this price? You have got to be kidding me. That's got to be some kind of mistake, right there.",Reflection,"Host 2: Now, you folks at home, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, that can't be stag horn. It's got to be the cheaper manticore horn. But, I've got the specs right here and I'll tell you what, this is the real deal."
Reflection,"Host 2: Now, you folks at home, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, that can't be stag horn. It's got to be the cheaper manticore horn. But, I've got the specs right here and I'll tell you what, this is the real deal.",Reflection,Host: Unbelievable.
Reflection,Host: Unbelievable.,Reflection,"Host 2: It is unbelievable. That's exactly what it is. I mean, this is... I have no words to describe this deal. Honestly, have you ever seen stag horn at this price?"
Reflection,"Host 2: It is unbelievable. That's exactly what it is. I mean, this is... I have no words to describe this deal. Honestly, have you ever seen stag horn at this price?",Reflection,"Host: No, no, I don't believe I ever have."
Reflection,"Host: No, no, I don't believe I ever have.",Reflection,Host 2: 1101-1816 is the item number on this one.
Reflection,Host 2: 1101-1816 is the item number on this one.,Reflection,"Host: You know what, we're gonna have to  put a clock on this deal, folks. Two minutes. Can I get a clock at two minutes up there?"
Reflection,"Host: You know what, we're gonna have to  put a clock on this deal, folks. Two minutes. Can I get a clock at two minutes up there?",Reflection,"Host 2: Two minutes at most. Honestly, I'd be surprised if they last that long."
Reflection,"Host 2: Two minutes at most. Honestly, I'd be surprised if they last that long.",Reflection,"Host: Oh, I'd be very surprised, shocked really. Now, I know the lines are busy, people, but keep dialing in if you want a truly exceptional knife to slice up your friends in their sleep."
Reflection,"Host: Oh, I'd be very surprised, shocked really. Now, I know the lines are busy, people, but keep dialing in if you want a truly exceptional knife to slice up your friends in their sleep.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: He tried to murder me. He tried... Woah, cool. Is that the stag horn?"
Titanius,"Anglesmith: He tried to murder me. He tried... Woah, cool. Is that the stag horn?",Greyfarn,"Alas, Frydo's weakness was no match for the die's strength. We can only hope he forges on alone to the Geysers."
Greyfarn,"Alas, Frydo's weakness was no match for the die's strength. We can only hope he forges on alone to the Geysers.",Titanius,Anglesmith: I can hope my ass is made of ice-cream but that don't make me a hot fudge sundae.
Titanius,Anglesmith: I can hope my ass is made of ice-cream but that don't make me a hot fudge sundae.,Greyfarn,"As for us, we must press on to Wipe Castle, though the journey be long and I fear I may not live to see it."
Greyfarn,"As for us, we must press on to Wipe Castle, though the journey be long and I fear I may not live to see it.",Gynecaladriel,There it is!
Gynecaladriel,There it is!,Frydo,They's following us's.
Frydo,They's following us's.,Zoidberg,"Head: You know, you talk like that, it's gonna cost you points at a job interview."
Zoidberg,"Head: You know, you talk like that, it's gonna cost you points at a job interview.",Frydo,What does it wants?
Frydo,What does it wants?,Zoidberg,"Head: I thought I could help you destroy the die, maybe."
Zoidberg,"Head: I thought I could help you destroy the die, maybe.",Frydo,Help me!
Frydo,Help me!,URL,"Now, before your audience with the king, there's a shocking fact you best know about him."
URL,"Now, before your audience with the king, there's a shocking fact you best know about him.",Titanius,Anglesmith: Enough blabbety-blab! Open the doors.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Enough blabbety-blab! Open the doors.,Roberto,"What, ho?"
Roberto,"What, ho?",Titanius,"Anglesmith: We bring ill tidings, o fanciest of men. Momon's reach nears the die of power. And should she obtain it, she will then have the entire basic set. Rivers will run red with blood and yellow with urine. And a dog will be seen eating cat food in the land. Oh, great king, your army is the last hope of Cornwood. Let us join forces before the light of good is extinguished forever."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: We bring ill tidings, o fanciest of men. Momon's reach nears the die of power. And should she obtain it, she will then have the entire basic set. Rivers will run red with blood and yellow with urine. And a dog will be seen eating cat food in the land. Oh, great king, your army is the last hope of Cornwood. Let us join forces before the light of good is extinguished forever.",Roberto,You calling me crazy? Just 'cause I've got a hotel in my foot don't make me a boogalee-moogalee-moogalee.
Roberto,You calling me crazy? Just 'cause I've got a hotel in my foot don't make me a boogalee-moogalee-moogalee.,Titanius,Anglesmith: Pardon?
Titanius,Anglesmith: Pardon?,Roberto,"Stop laughing at me, fried avocado."
Roberto,"Stop laughing at me, fried avocado.",Titanius,Anglesmith ...I hereby place myself in command of the royal army.
Titanius,Anglesmith ...I hereby place myself in command of the royal army.,URL,What royal army would that be?
URL,What royal army would that be?,Greyfarn,What?
Greyfarn,What?,Smitty,King went insane and declared war on the scallops. Tied his army to a boulder and pushed them into the sea. They never returned.
Smitty,King went insane and declared war on the scallops. Tied his army to a boulder and pushed them into the sea. They never returned.,Greyfarn,"Oh, well. There'll be no epic battle today."
Greyfarn,"Oh, well. There'll be no epic battle today.",Titanius,Anglesmith.
Titanius,Anglesmith.,Larius,Where's their army?
Larius,Where's their army?,Titanius,Anglesmith: Ow.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Ow.,Roberto,AHH! Boogalee-moogalee-moogalee!
Roberto,AHH! Boogalee-moogalee-moogalee!,Leegola,What does it mean?
Leegola,What does it mean?,Female,Centaur: Evil will soon triumph over good.
Female,Centaur: Evil will soon triumph over good.,Hermaphrodite,Your friends face certain death. Followed by a disrespectful marionette show performed with their corpses.
Hermaphrodite,Your friends face certain death. Followed by a disrespectful marionette show performed with their corpses.,Leegola,No! We've got to do something.
Leegola,No! We've got to do something.,Leegola,What a load of man-horse manure.
Leegola,What a load of man-horse manure.,Hermaphrodite,"Well, Leegola, if you have a better idea, perhaps you'd like to challenge me to debate."
Hermaphrodite,"Well, Leegola, if you have a better idea, perhaps you'd like to challenge me to debate.",Frydo,I'm too exhausted. I can't go on.
Frydo,I'm too exhausted. I can't go on.,Zoidberg,"Head: I'm here for you, my friend. Grab onto my testicles."
Zoidberg,"Head: I'm here for you, my friend. Grab onto my testicles.",Frydo,"You know, I think maybe I can walk after all."
Zoidberg,"Head: What are you waiting for, Frydo? Throw it already in the boiling plastic.",Frydo,Me's enjoys owning it.
Frydo,Me's enjoys owning it.,Zoidberg,Head
Zoidberg,Head,Frydo,Ow!
Frydo,Ow!,Momon,No!
Momon,No!,Die,of Power: Twelve.
Die,of Power: Twelve.,Frydo,"So, it's all come down to this. A dungeon and dragons."
Frydo,"So, it's all come down to this. A dungeon and dragons.",Zoidberg,Head: I didn't see it coming.
Zoidberg,Head: I didn't see it coming.,Ogres,"Eat the wizard, eat the slut. Eat the robot's shiny butt"
Ogres,"Eat the wizard, eat the slut. Eat the robot's shiny butt",Gynecaladriel,"Well, at least we'll be remembered in song."
Gynecaladriel,"Well, at least we'll be remembered in song.",Titanius,"Anglesmith Well, that worked out pretty good, eh, fellows?"
Titanius,"Anglesmith Well, that worked out pretty good, eh, fellows?",Leegola,"Prepare to fire again, brave cowards."
Leegola,"Prepare to fire again, brave cowards.",Leegola,Fire.
Leegola,Fire.,Ogre,Wuh-woah.
Ogre,Wuh-woah.,Remaining,Ogre: Whew!
Remaining,Ogre: Whew!,Greyfarn,"Frydo is fighting for his life. Quickly, to the Geysers."
Greyfarn,"Frydo is fighting for his life. Quickly, to the Geysers.",Titanius,Anglesmith Can it wait a couple of minutes?
Titanius,Anglesmith Can it wait a couple of minutes?,Greyfarn,"Yes. Yes, it can."
Greyfarn,"Yes. Yes, it can.",Frydo,I guess you are a match for my dragon style.
Frydo,I guess you are a match for my dragon style.,Momon,"Tell me, Frydo, are you aware that a dragon's one weakness is its soft underbelly?"
Momon,"Tell me, Frydo, are you aware that a dragon's one weakness is its soft underbelly?",Leegola,Get my friend out of your mouth.
Leegola,Get my friend out of your mouth.,Titanius,Anglesmith Whoa!
Titanius,Anglesmith Whoa!,Ignus,Quick. Get on the magic bug.
Ignus,Quick. Get on the magic bug.,Greyfarn,"It's not a magic bug, you dope. It's a magic arachnid. Can't you count the legs?"
Greyfarn,"It's not a magic bug, you dope. It's a magic arachnid. Can't you count the legs?",Ignus,No.
Ignus,No.,Greyfarn,"Six, seven, eight. Not six, eight. I'll kill you, you imbecile."
Greyfarn,"Six, seven, eight. Not six, eight. I'll kill you, you imbecile.",Momon,My underbelly. My one weakness.
Momon,My underbelly. My one weakness.,Zoidberg,"Head I got it. Now I can throw it in the hot thing over there and be the hero. On the other hand, infinite power might be nice."
Zoidberg,"Head I got it. Now I can throw it in the hot thing over there and be the hero. On the other hand, infinite power might be nice.",Ignus,"Please, I'm trying to help you."
Ignus,"Please, I'm trying to help you.",Greyfarn,Then why are you hitting me with a stick? How stupid are you that you think that's helping?
Greyfarn,Then why are you hitting me with a stick? How stupid are you that you think that's helping?,Ignus,Mommy never told you about my father.
Ignus,Mommy never told you about my father.,Greyfarn,She said he was a foul He-demon.
Greyfarn,She said he was a foul He-demon.,Ignus,You are my father.
Ignus,You are my father.,Greyfarn,"No. No, that's impossible."
Greyfarn,"No. No, that's impossible.",Ignus,Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
Ignus,Search your feelings. You know it to be true.,Ignus,Ya-huh! I heard Mommy say so.
Ignus,Ya-huh! I heard Mommy say so.,Zoidberg,Head
Zoidberg,Head,Frydo,No! No!
Frydo,No! No!,Mom,What happened?
Mom,What happened?,Leela,"My God, we're out of that weird, crazy world and back in our regular crazy world."
Leela,"My God, we're out of that weird, crazy world and back in our regular crazy world.",Fry,Did we all just have some kind of freaky dream or was it ghosts?
Fry,Did we all just have some kind of freaky dream or was it ghosts?,Farnsworth,"Neither, Fry. It was science. Bender's mighty imagination amplified by a dark matter resonance created an alternate reality that very nearly blew our minds."
Farnsworth,"Neither, Fry. It was science. Bender's mighty imagination amplified by a dark matter resonance created an alternate reality that very nearly blew our minds.",Hermes,Exactly. You can't make that kind of stuff up.
Hermes,Exactly. You can't make that kind of stuff up.,Mom,"Quit trying to explain everything. I defeated you in that world and I'll defeat you in this one. Boys, the crystal’s still in his stomach."
Mom,"Quit trying to explain everything. I defeated you in that world and I'll defeat you in this one. Boys, the crystal’s still in his stomach.",Walt,Commencing intestinal flash flood.
Walt,Commencing intestinal flash flood.,Farnsworth,"Wait! Before my moment of shame, can I..."
Farnsworth,"Wait! Before my moment of shame, can I...",Mom,"Yes, speak up."
Mom,"Yes, speak up.",Farnsworth,Can I give my boy a hug?
Farnsworth,Can I give my boy a hug?,Mom,All right. Fine. I've never done it. I guess somebody should.
Mom,All right. Fine. I've never done it. I guess somebody should.,Farnsworth,"Like father, like son, eh, boy?"
Farnsworth,"Like father, like son, eh, boy?",Mom,No. No!
Mom,No. No!,Mom,My dark matter. It's worthless.
Mom,My dark matter. It's worthless.,Farnsworth,"That's right, Mom. But fear not, fancy folk for I've just thunk up an alternative energy source. Nibbler-power."
Farnsworth,"That's right, Mom. But fear not, fancy folk for I've just thunk up an alternative energy source. Nibbler-power.",Nibbler,Hurray. Wait. What?
Nibbler,Hurray. Wait. What?,Bender,"Whip harder, Professor."
Bender,"Whip harder, Professor.",Garry,Gygax: Anyone wanna play Dungeons & Dragons for the next quadrillion years?
Garry,Gygax: Anyone wanna play Dungeons & Dragons for the next quadrillion years?,Seth,MacFarlane
Seth,MacFarlane,That,"was then and this is, too."
That,"was then and this is, too.",Bender,"Wow, Mars Vegas.  Long live the eternal city."
Bender,"Wow, Mars Vegas.  Long live the eternal city.",Mr.,"Wong: Two, one, zero!"
Mr.,"Wong: Two, one, zero!",Bender,"Rest in hell, Crapville!"
Bender,"Rest in hell, Crapville!",Mrs.,"Wong: Out here in the desert, we’re gonna build bigger, better Vegas."
Mrs.,"Wong: Out here in the desert, we’re gonna build bigger, better Vegas.",Mr.,"Wong: Bathtubs size of oceans, hookers size of bouncers."
Mr.,"Wong: Bathtubs size of oceans, hookers size of bouncers.",Bender,Hamburger!
Bender,Hamburger!,Worm,Announcer: Stand clear of the closing jaws.
Worm,Announcer: Stand clear of the closing jaws.,Amy,"Wong: So what's gonna be over there, Dad?"
Amy,"Wong: So what's gonna be over there, Dad?",Mr.,"Wong Take that, you stupid Mother Nature."
Mr.,"Wong Take that, you stupid Mother Nature.",Frida,Waterfall: Okay. Let's hit him hard.
Frida,Waterfall: Okay. Let's hit him hard.,Feministas,This land is your land.  This land is my land
Feministas,This land is your land.  This land is my land,Fry,Who are you noisy women?
Fry,Who are you noisy women?,Frida,"I'm Frida Waterfall, leader of the Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, and we will not let you man-doze this beautiful gyno-desert."
Frida,"I'm Frida Waterfall, leader of the Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, and we will not let you man-doze this beautiful gyno-desert.",Mr.,"Wong: Well, I'm Leo Wong, and I say, Boom!"
Mr.,"Wong: Well, I'm Leo Wong, and I say, Boom!",Frida,What happened to my femi-necklace?  And where's my mega-fem?
Frida,What happened to my femi-necklace?  And where's my mega-fem?,Professor,"Farnsworth: Is he badly hurt, Dr. Zoidberg?"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Is he badly hurt, Dr. Zoidberg?",Zoidberg,Fry is dead!
Zoidberg,Fry is dead!,Zoidberg,"Wait, not dead.  The other thing."
Zoidberg,"Wait, not dead.  The other thing.",Mr.,Wong
Mr.,Wong,Leela,"Now, hang on.  Before you do construction, don't you have to make sure you're not harming any native species?"
Leela,"Now, hang on.  Before you do construction, don't you have to make sure you're not harming any native species?",Mr.,Wong: Already done! By top scientist.
Mr.,Wong: Already done! By top scientist.,Farnsworth,"Err, what?  Oh, my, yes.  You've got the go-ahead, Mr. Wong.  This place is deader than last year's cat."
Farnsworth,"Err, what?  Oh, my, yes.  You've got the go-ahead, Mr. Wong.  This place is deader than last year's cat.",Farnsworth,Killing these will be so much easier than exterminating those ponies.
Farnsworth,Killing these will be so much easier than exterminating those ponies.,Bender,I'll get it with my trusty foot cups: Stompy and Smashy.
Bender,I'll get it with my trusty foot cups: Stompy and Smashy.,Leela,"No, don't kill it! We have to..."
Leela,"No, don't kill it! We have to...",Mr.,Wong: There. They're not endangered anymore. They're extinct.
Mr.,Wong: There. They're not endangered anymore. They're extinct.,Leela,Poor thing.
Leela,Poor thing.,Mr.,"Wong He took it, you all saw it!"
Mr.,"Wong He took it, you all saw it!",Bender,"What's in it for me, Bender?"
Bender,"What's in it for me, Bender?",Mr.,"Wong: Okay, okay. Come back when New Vegas opens, I give you all free rooms, free dinner and free tickets to Celine Dion."
Mr.,"Wong: Okay, okay. Come back when New Vegas opens, I give you all free rooms, free dinner and free tickets to Celine Dion.",Bender,Lose the Celine Dion tickets and you got yourself a deal.
Bender,Lose the Celine Dion tickets and you got yourself a deal.,Mr.,"Wong: All right, damn it, done!"
Mr.,"Wong: All right, damn it, done!",Bender,"All right, I scored."
Bender,"All right, I scored.",Zoidberg,Oh. I'm bankrupt.
Zoidberg,Oh. I'm bankrupt.,Fry,"You said it, Hermes. He is pathetic, but lovable."
Fry,"You said it, Hermes. He is pathetic, but lovable.",Hermes,"Yup. What? I said no such thing, man."
Hermes,"Yup. What? I said no such thing, man.",Fry,"I am not acting weird, Leela. Why is everyone talking at once?"
Fry,"I am not acting weird, Leela. Why is everyone talking at once?",Leela,"Fry, calm down and stop braining."
Leela,"Fry, calm down and stop braining.",Amy,"Yeah, Fry, maybe you need to-"
Amy,"Yeah, Fry, maybe you need to-",Fry,"You're right, Amy! Maybe I do need some fresh air."
Fry,"You're right, Amy! Maybe I do need some fresh air.",Bender,"Man, I'm worried about him. But not enough to stop gambling for even a single second."
Bender,"Man, I'm worried about him. But not enough to stop gambling for even a single second.",Three,"Leos on the Machine: You win, damn it!"
Three,"Leos on the Machine: You win, damn it!",Fry,Voices always yelling. Who - who said that? I'm not insane. Stop it. Stop talking in me!
Fry,Voices always yelling. Who - who said that? I'm not insane. Stop it. Stop talking in me!,Hutch,Waterfall
Hutch,Waterfall,Fry,"(Over the chatter) Hey, it worked. The voices stopped."
Fry,"(Over the chatter) Hey, it worked. The voices stopped.",Hutch,That's better. My name's Hutch.
Hutch,That's better. My name's Hutch.,Fry,"Hi, Hutch. So what's with the obnoxious, shrieking voices? Are my fillings picking up The View?"
Fry,"Hi, Hutch. So what's with the obnoxious, shrieking voices? Are my fillings picking up The View?",Hutch,"No, man. Truth is, it's other people's thoughts. You're a mind reader."
Hutch,"No, man. Truth is, it's other people's thoughts. You're a mind reader.",Fry,"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Although, actually, it was sort of obvious."
Fry,"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Although, actually, it was sort of obvious.",Hutch,You don't believe me? Take off the helmet.
Hutch,You don't believe me? Take off the helmet.,Fry,I believe you.
Fry,I believe you.,Hutch,"Testing, testing. Do you read me?"
Hutch,"Testing, testing. Do you read me?",Fry,(Telepathically): Loud and clear.
Fry,(Telepathically): Loud and clear.,Hutch,What?
Hutch,What?,Fry,"I said, Loud and clear. Only I said it with my thinker, not my talker."
Fry,"I said, Loud and clear. Only I said it with my thinker, not my talker.",Hutch,Whoa! Freaky. Why can't I read your thoughts?
Hutch,Whoa! Freaky. Why can't I read your thoughts?,Fry,I don't know. Wait. What's that about a secret society?
Fry,I don't know. Wait. What's that about a secret society?,Hutch,"Never mind that. Just keep the foil on and you'll be okay. Also, it'll keep the Dark Ones from incinerating your brain."
Hutch,"Never mind that. Just keep the foil on and you'll be okay. Also, it'll keep the Dark Ones from incinerating your brain.",Fry,That's a plus.
Fry,That's a plus.,Donbot,"Whoa, whoa. Show some decorum there, Clamps. This ain't no strip show. This is a beguiling display of the pornographic arts."
Donbot,"Whoa, whoa. Show some decorum there, Clamps. This ain't no strip show. This is a beguiling display of the pornographic arts.",Joey,"Mousepad: Yo, Skip, I can see a guy's butt."
Joey,"Mousepad: Yo, Skip, I can see a guy's butt.",Michael's,"Wife: Oh, Michael, this is the perfect end to a perfect honeymoon."
Michael's,"Wife: Oh, Michael, this is the perfect end to a perfect honeymoon.",Michael,I love you so much.
Michael,I love you so much.,Bender,Is this seat taken?
Bender,Is this seat taken?,Michael,"Actually, we..."
Michael,"Actually, we...",Bender,Slide me those chicken wings. So what part of Podunk you rubes from?
Bender,Slide me those chicken wings. So what part of Podunk you rubes from?,Michael,The north-eastern.
Michael,The north-eastern.,Announcer,"Monsieurs et mademoiselles, our circus of the senses now arrives by steamboat in New Orleans, circa 2873. The muted lament of a trombone resonates through the fog, which lingers even now, months after the attack of the fog monster. With but one hope of restoring Gearoticus to his throne, our sensual fate rests in the gyrations of... Fanny."
Announcer,"Monsieurs et mademoiselles, our circus of the senses now arrives by steamboat in New Orleans, circa 2873. The muted lament of a trombone resonates through the fog, which lingers even now, months after the attack of the fog monster. With but one hope of restoring Gearoticus to his throne, our sensual fate rests in the gyrations of... Fanny.",Fanny,Yes?
Fanny,Yes?,Donbot,"Who is it, the Feds?"
Donbot,"Who is it, the Feds?",Bender,"Aren't you the Donbot, head of the Robot Mafia?"
Bender,"Aren't you the Donbot, head of the Robot Mafia?",Donbot,"Allegedly. And this is my beloved wife, Fanny, whose honor I would proudly defend with a power drill. Well, I gotta go drown a stoolie."
Donbot,"Allegedly. And this is my beloved wife, Fanny, whose honor I would proudly defend with a power drill. Well, I gotta go drown a stoolie.",Donbot,"I'm gonna be in here a while, so do me a favor and drive my wife home. It's one of them self-driving cars, so just sit in the back and do whatever."
Donbot,"I'm gonna be in here a while, so do me a favor and drive my wife home. It's one of them self-driving cars, so just sit in the back and do whatever.",Fanny,"Oh, Bender, your lips are intoxicating. It's like kissing an ashtray full of hot wings."
Fanny,"Oh, Bender, your lips are intoxicating. It's like kissing an ashtray full of hot wings.",Bender,(As if he were speaking through a fan): Aww yeahh!
Bender,(As if he were speaking through a fan): Aww yeahh!,Fry,"(Telepathically): My God, I really can read minds. I have a superpower! There must be something great I can do with this."
Fry,"(Telepathically): My God, I really can read minds. I have a superpower! There must be something great I can do with this.",Fry,"Oh, wait, that's invisibility."
Fry,"Oh, wait, that's invisibility.",Fry,"(Telepathically): Poker. With my mind-reading abilities and my invisibility... Wait, no, just the mind reading. I can't lose!"
Fry,"(Telepathically): Poker. With my mind-reading abilities and my invisibility... Wait, no, just the mind reading. I can't lose!",Fry,"Sign me up for the tournament, please."
Fry,"Sign me up for the tournament, please.",Administrator,"Okey-doke, Jiffy Pop. Entry fee's 50,000 smackers."
Administrator,"Okey-doke, Jiffy Pop. Entry fee's 50,000 smackers.",Fry,"50,000? Drat, all I have is my life savings and a token for free admission to this poker tournament."
Fry,"50,000? Drat, all I have is my life savings and a token for free admission to this poker tournament.",Amy,You're having an affair with the head of the robot mafia's wife?
Amy,You're having an affair with the head of the robot mafia's wife?,Bender,"(Off-screen): Yup, this is her I'm making out with."
Bender,"(Off-screen): Yup, this is her I'm making out with.",Hermes,"Bender, are you crazy?"
Hermes,"Bender, are you crazy?",Bender,"No, it's Fry who's crazy in this one."
Bender,"No, it's Fry who's crazy in this one.",Fry,"Psht, I'm not crazy."
Fry,"Psht, I'm not crazy.",Leela,"You sure you're okay, Fry? You do have tin foil on your head."
Leela,"You sure you're okay, Fry? You do have tin foil on your head.",Fry,"So? You've got a leech on your neck. Oh, and speaking of sucking on your neck, want to go to a movie later?"
Fry,"So? You've got a leech on your neck. Oh, and speaking of sucking on your neck, want to go to a movie later?",Elzar,"Hey, there! How are you folks doing tonight?"
Elzar,"Hey, there! How are you folks doing tonight?",Bender,Great. What are the specials?
Bender,Great. What are the specials?,Elzar,We've got a wonderful grizzly bear that's been dipped in cornmeal and lightly tormented. Questions?
Elzar,We've got a wonderful grizzly bear that's been dipped in cornmeal and lightly tormented. Questions?,Amy,What was the bear's name?
Amy,What was the bear's name?,Elzar,Jojo.
Elzar,Jojo.,Amy,"Ooh, I'll have him."
Amy,"Ooh, I'll have him.",Bender,Hide me!
Bender,Hide me!,Joey,"Mousepad: Hey, Donbot, ain't that your wife what with you had that wedding with?"
Joey,"Mousepad: Hey, Donbot, ain't that your wife what with you had that wedding with?",Fanny,"Donbot, honey! What a pleasant shock! I was just having dinner alone, when suddenly you walk in on us."
Fanny,"Donbot, honey! What a pleasant shock! I was just having dinner alone, when suddenly you walk in on us.",Donbot,"Alone, huh?"
Donbot,"Alone, huh?",Bender,"I'm Bender. The world's most sexual robot. I mean, the world's most boundary-respecting robot."
Bender,"I'm Bender. The world's most sexual robot. I mean, the world's most boundary-respecting robot.",Donbot,"Nice to see you, Bender. Welcome back to our universe. Listen, sugar, I stuck up the Burlington Coat Factory and got you a little something. It's a $49 value."
Donbot,"Nice to see you, Bender. Welcome back to our universe. Listen, sugar, I stuck up the Burlington Coat Factory and got you a little something. It's a $49 value.",Danny,Not really.
Danny,Not really.,Fanny,"I never felt so alive, Bender. Listen, this turquoise-encrusted bra is worth 50 grand. Let's sell it and run off before the Donbot gets wise."
Fanny,"I never felt so alive, Bender. Listen, this turquoise-encrusted bra is worth 50 grand. Let's sell it and run off before the Donbot gets wise.",Bender,No. It will take a lot more money than that to make a girl like you happy.
Bender,No. It will take a lot more money than that to make a girl like you happy.,Fanny,"No, it won't."
Fanny,"No, it won't.",Bender,"One entry, please."
Bender,"One entry, please.",Fanny,"Bender, no! You're not lucky enough."
Fanny,"Bender, no! You're not lucky enough.",Bender,"The scrap metal I'm made from included a truckload of horseshoes from the luckiest racehorses in Mexico, who had just been sent to a glue factory."
Bender,"The scrap metal I'm made from included a truckload of horseshoes from the luckiest racehorses in Mexico, who had just been sent to a glue factory.",Fanny,They don't sound so lucky to me.
Fanny,They don't sound so lucky to me.,Bender,Not without their shoes.
Bender,Not without their shoes.,Fanny,"Here, Bendy, take this. It will give you 70% more luck. It's the Donbot's lucky robot's foot."
Fanny,"Here, Bendy, take this. It will give you 70% more luck. It's the Donbot's lucky robot's foot.",Bender,"All right! With two kinds of luck, I can't lose."
Bender,"All right! With two kinds of luck, I can't lose.",Bender,"No, wait, three. I stepped on a leprechaun."
Bender,"No, wait, three. I stepped on a leprechaun.",Joey,"Mousepad: Yo, you see this over here over there?"
Joey,"Mousepad: Yo, you see this over here over there?",Clamps,I'm powering up the clamps.
Clamps,I'm powering up the clamps.,Donbot,"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let us not rush to judgement."
Donbot,"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let us not rush to judgement.",Joey,"Mousepad: But, Skip, that was your lucky robot's foot what came off of your lucky leg."
Joey,"Mousepad: But, Skip, that was your lucky robot's foot what came off of your lucky leg.",Donbot,"While it is true that I did wake up with only one foot this morning, there is no proof that my beloved Fanny was involved. Aside from the hacksaw I found under her pillow."
Donbot,"While it is true that I did wake up with only one foot this morning, there is no proof that my beloved Fanny was involved. Aside from the hacksaw I found under her pillow.",Clamps,"Well, what about that Bender guy? You want I should give him the clamps?"
Clamps,"Well, what about that Bender guy? You want I should give him the clamps?",Donbot,"Not yet, Clamps. We are gonna sit tight and see if he wins the poker tournament. He does, that proves he's packing my lucky foot, in which event..."
Donbot,"Not yet, Clamps. We are gonna sit tight and see if he wins the poker tournament. He does, that proves he's packing my lucky foot, in which event...",Clamps,Or a clamp-like device.
Clamps,Or a clamp-like device.,Penn,Jillette Our act really didn't change much when he died.
Penn,Jillette Our act really didn't change much when he died.,Fry,"Bender? Oh, boogers. We're in the same tournament. Quick, get your entry fee back before I bankrupt you."
Fry,"Bender? Oh, boogers. We're in the same tournament. Quick, get your entry fee back before I bankrupt you.",Bender,"In your dreams, nutloaf."
Bender,"In your dreams, nutloaf.",Fry,Bite my shiny metal hat.
Fry,Bite my shiny metal hat.,Penn,Jillette (Whispering)
Penn,Jillette (Whispering),Bender,(Telepathically)
Bender,(Telepathically),Fry,I fold.
Fry,I fold.,Penn,Jillette: Holy crap! A stunning play by mentally ill newcomer Philip Fry. It's almost as if he knew Bender had two aces.
Penn,Jillette: Holy crap! A stunning play by mentally ill newcomer Philip Fry. It's almost as if he knew Bender had two aces.,Tex,Connecticut: I'm out.
Tex,Connecticut: I'm out.,Lrrr,I'm out.
Lrrr,I'm out.,Bender,Suck my luck!
Bender,Suck my luck!,Donbot,That's what I'm gonna do to Bender if he wins.
Donbot,That's what I'm gonna do to Bender if he wins.,Lrrr,"My cards are awful, and I need a hug."
Lrrr,"My cards are awful, and I need a hug.",Fry,I call your bluff.
Fry,I call your bluff.,Lrrr,I just wanted to make my daddy proud.
Lrrr,I just wanted to make my daddy proud.,Lrrr's,"Father: Well, you didn't. I want you and your junk moved out by Monday."
Lrrr's,"Father: Well, you didn't. I want you and your junk moved out by Monday.",Penn,"Jillette: It's getting pretty intense, folks. Based on the state of decomposition of Teller's head, we're now in hour 19 of the tournament. And the first bad deal of the night for Bender."
Penn,"Jillette: It's getting pretty intense, folks. Based on the state of decomposition of Teller's head, we're now in hour 19 of the tournament. And the first bad deal of the night for Bender.",Bender,"This is the worst possible hand, right?"
Bender,"This is the worst possible hand, right?",Tex,Connecticut: I'm all in.
Tex,Connecticut: I'm all in.,Bender,"All in! I mean, fold. Whatever."
Bender,"All in! I mean, fold. Whatever.",Penn,"Jillette Well, Bender's luck just ran out. No card can save him from elimination."
Penn,"Jillette Well, Bender's luck just ran out. No card can save him from elimination.",Boobs,Vanderbilt
Boobs,Vanderbilt,Leo,Wong
Leo,Wong,Bender,"Wooo! I'm so full of luck, it's shooting out like luck diarrhoea."
Bender,"Wooo! I'm so full of luck, it's shooting out like luck diarrhoea.",Penn,Jillette
Penn,Jillette,Bender,All in.
Bender,All in.,Fry,"But-but, you didn't even look at your cards!"
Fry,"But-but, you didn't even look at your cards!",Bender,Looking at one's cards is a crutch for players who rely on skill.
Bender,Looking at one's cards is a crutch for players who rely on skill.,Leo,"Wong: Any day now, Fry. You in or out?"
Leo,"Wong: Any day now, Fry. You in or out?",Fry,Yes! Four aces!
Fry,Yes! Four aces!,Bender,"Ah-ah-ah. Read 'em and weep, and then tell me what they are."
Bender,"Ah-ah-ah. Read 'em and weep, and then tell me what they are.",Leo,"Wong: Two kings. And with three on the board, that gives Bender five kings."
Leo,"Wong: Two kings. And with three on the board, that gives Bender five kings.",Fry,But how is that...
Fry,But how is that...,Penn,"Jillette: I don't believe it. Bender has just been dealt the King of Beers, a coaster from the bar that somehow got mixed into the deck. But it still counts!"
Penn,"Jillette: I don't believe it. Bender has just been dealt the King of Beers, a coaster from the bar that somehow got mixed into the deck. But it still counts!",Leo,Wong: Bender win the Championship!
Leo,Wong: Bender win the Championship!,Fanny,"You did it, Bender. You're the greatest."
Fanny,"You did it, Bender. You're the greatest.",Bender,"Tell me something I don't know, sweetass. Now, let's boogie. We'll be in Space Tahiti before the Donbot knows what hit him."
Bender,"Tell me something I don't know, sweetass. Now, let's boogie. We'll be in Space Tahiti before the Donbot knows what hit him.",Donbot,Now I am suspicious.
Donbot,Now I am suspicious.,Bender,"Okay, we finished digging this shallow grave. Can we go now?"
Bender,"Okay, we finished digging this shallow grave. Can we go now?",Hutch,"Truth is, you're a mind reader."
Hutch,"Truth is, you're a mind reader.",Fry,"Oh, my God!"
Fry,"Oh, my God!",Bender,"Okay, we finished digging this shallow grave."
Bender,"Okay, we finished digging this shallow grave.",Fry,(Sobbing): Poor Bender left me one last voicemail before the Robot Mafia buried him in the desert.
Fry,(Sobbing): Poor Bender left me one last voicemail before the Robot Mafia buried him in the desert.,Bender,(On cell phone)
Bender,(On cell phone),Hermes,"Line up, people! Everyone take a shovel and one sixth of the planet. We'll meet back here in 50 years, our bodies broken and our lives wasted."
Hermes,"Line up, people! Everyone take a shovel and one sixth of the planet. We'll meet back here in 50 years, our bodies broken and our lives wasted.",Zoidberg,And you say these are free shovels?
Zoidberg,And you say these are free shovels?,Bender,"I'm back, baby."
Bender,"I'm back, baby.",Fry,Bender! I thought the Robot Mafia killed you.
Fry,Bender! I thought the Robot Mafia killed you.,Bender,"Nah, they just shot us and buried us a few times as a warning."
Bender,"Nah, they just shot us and buried us a few times as a warning.",Fanny,Bender was so brave. He never stopped making out with me the whole time they were shooting us.
Fanny,Bender was so brave. He never stopped making out with me the whole time they were shooting us.,Bender,I sure didn't.
Bender,I sure didn't.,Fanny,"I gotta get back to my husband, baby. Will I see you tonight?"
Fanny,"I gotta get back to my husband, baby. Will I see you tonight?",Bender,Probably not.
Bender,Probably not.,Mr.,"Wong: It's a 14-footer with a clown hazard. What club you recommend, Baggy?"
Mr.,"Wong: It's a 14-footer with a clown hazard. What club you recommend, Baggy?",Baggy,"As on every hole, I suggest the putter."
Baggy,"As on every hole, I suggest the putter.",Fry,"Your golf club sure is classy, Mr. Wong. Naked statue classy."
Fry,"Your golf club sure is classy, Mr. Wong. Naked statue classy.",Amy,"We're lucky even to play as guests, Leela. Dad's club has a very strict No girls allowed policy."
Amy,"We're lucky even to play as guests, Leela. Dad's club has a very strict No girls allowed policy.",Leela,That doesn't seem fair.
Leela,That doesn't seem fair.,Amy,It really is. Everybody knows women don't have the focus to play miniature golf at a professional level.
Amy,It really is. Everybody knows women don't have the focus to play miniature golf at a professional level.,Leela,But that's the best shot of the day!
Leela,But that's the best shot of the day!,Mr.,Wong: Is that my ball? I think that my ball.
Mr.,Wong: Is that my ball? I think that my ball.,Amy,"Pfft, great putt, Dad."
Amy,"Pfft, great putt, Dad.",Mr.,"Wong: Okay, we're done."
Mr.,"Wong: Okay, we're done.",Leela,"Mr. Wong, how do you keep this place so green in the middle of the desert? Doesn't that waste a lot of water?"
Leela,"Mr. Wong, how do you keep this place so green in the middle of the desert? Doesn't that waste a lot of water?",Mr.,Wong
Mr.,Wong,Mr.,"Wong: Oh, yeah, I love miniature golf. Love everything about it, except how damn miniature it is. That's why I'm building the universe's biggest miniature golf course."
Mr.,"Wong: Oh, yeah, I love miniature golf. Love everything about it, except how damn miniature it is. That's why I'm building the universe's biggest miniature golf course.",Mr.,Wong: This the first tee.
Mr.,Wong: This the first tee.,Fry,Where's the hole?
Fry,Where's the hole?,Mr.,Wong It dropped in! Put me down for a two.
Mr.,Wong It dropped in! Put me down for a two.,Mr.,"Wong: Keep in mind, that just the first hole. For full course, we gonna bulldoze this entire arm of the Milky Way."
Mr.,"Wong: Keep in mind, that just the first hole. For full course, we gonna bulldoze this entire arm of the Milky Way.",Leela,What? You're gonna wipe out 10% of the galaxy for a stupid golf course?
Leela,What? You're gonna wipe out 10% of the galaxy for a stupid golf course?,Mr.,"Wong: First of all, it 12% . Second, yes, you betcha."
Mr.,"Wong: First of all, it 12% . Second, yes, you betcha.",Leela,But you have no idea what life forms might be evolving out there.
Leela,But you have no idea what life forms might be evolving out there.,Mr.,Wong: That's exactly why I'm hiring an impartial scientist to perform an environmental survey. That's him in the money shower.
Mr.,Wong: That's exactly why I'm hiring an impartial scientist to perform an environmental survey. That's him in the money shower.,Fry,"(VO): Delivery boy's log. Having fallen asleep on what I thought was the toilet, I awoke to find the environmental survey in progress."
Fry,"(VO): Delivery boy's log. Having fallen asleep on what I thought was the toilet, I awoke to find the environmental survey in progress.",Farnsworth,"Status reports, Science Officer."
Farnsworth,"Status reports, Science Officer.",Bender,Just like Fry on a date.
Bender,Just like Fry on a date.,Fry,Hey!
Fry,Hey!,Leela,"Okay, so we haven't found any life yet. I still don't see why you men can't be happy with regular-sized miniature golf."
Leela,"Okay, so we haven't found any life yet. I still don't see why you men can't be happy with regular-sized miniature golf.",FarnsworthHave,you seen my new 301-inch TV?
FarnsworthHave,you seen my new 301-inch TV?,Announcer,Hypnotoad is brought to you by the MagnaPhallix 302-inch TV. It's bigger!
Announcer,Hypnotoad is brought to you by the MagnaPhallix 302-inch TV. It's bigger!,Bender,"Captain, I'm detecting life on the Spock-o-scope!"
Bender,"Captain, I'm detecting life on the Spock-o-scope!",Leela,It's amazing. It's like a textbook on evolution.
Leela,It's amazing. It's like a textbook on evolution.,Fry,Except in Kansas.
Fry,Except in Kansas.,Bender,But isn't Mr. Wong building the 18th hole here? And the golf pants museum?
Bender,But isn't Mr. Wong building the 18th hole here? And the golf pants museum?,Farnsworth,Indeed so. This whole area will be incinerated when he implodes that sun there into a black hole.
Farnsworth,Indeed so. This whole area will be incinerated when he implodes that sun there into a black hole.,Leela,That beautiful violet star?
Leela,That beautiful violet star?,Farnsworth,It's so you can't keep your ball at the end of the game.
Farnsworth,It's so you can't keep your ball at the end of the game.,Fry,"Yo, that's messed up."
Fry,"Yo, that's messed up.",Leela,"There won't be any imploding once they read our environmental review. Right, Professor?"
Leela,"There won't be any imploding once they read our environmental review. Right, Professor?",Farnsworth,"Ohh, twaddle-squat. There's no scientific consensus that life is important."
Farnsworth,"Ohh, twaddle-squat. There's no scientific consensus that life is important.",Bender,"Yeah. Life, schmife."
Bender,"Yeah. Life, schmife.",Clip,Board Approved for demolition.
Clip,Board Approved for demolition.,Guard,"We're here, Mr. President."
Guard,"We're here, Mr. President.",Richard,Nixon's head: Arroo! Let's play some mini-golf.
Richard,Nixon's head: Arroo! Let's play some mini-golf.,Nixon,"No, no, no, just a light..."
Nixon,"No, no, no, just a light...",Zoidberg,OW!
Zoidberg,OW!,Feministas,Shut up and hear our wisdom. Save the ecosystem. Shut up and hear our wisdom!
Feministas,Shut up and hear our wisdom. Save the ecosystem. Shut up and hear our wisdom!,Nixon,"What gives, Wong? You said no chicks allowed."
Nixon,"What gives, Wong? You said no chicks allowed.",Frida,"We are the Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, and we will not let you...What was it again?"
Frida,"We are the Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, and we will not let you...What was it again?",Leela,"We will not let you implode the violet dwarf star at galactic coordinates 167.84, -58.03, mark 948."
Leela,"We will not let you implode the violet dwarf star at galactic coordinates 167.84, -58.03, mark 948.",Mr.,"Wong: Already approved, you cackling hens. So get out, or I'll have vice-president Agnew's headless body throw you out."
Mr.,"Wong: Already approved, you cackling hens. So get out, or I'll have vice-president Agnew's headless body throw you out.",Leela,I'd like to see him try.
Leela,I'd like to see him try.,Nixon,"Me, too. Should look funny. Sic 'em, Agnew."
Nixon,"Me, too. Should look funny. Sic 'em, Agnew.",Nixon,Runaway golf cart!
Nixon,Runaway golf cart!,Leela,"Look out, Agnew!"
Leela,"Look out, Agnew!",Nixon,Whoa!
Nixon,Whoa!,Mr.,Wong: Aah!
Mr.,Wong: Aah!,Leela,Is... is he okay?
Leela,Is... is he okay?,Mr.,Wong: No pulse.
Mr.,Wong: No pulse.,Nixon,They killed the headless remains of Agnew. Arrest them!
Nixon,They killed the headless remains of Agnew. Arrest them!,Frida,All Feministas she-vacuate the premises. I mean femises.
Frida,All Feministas she-vacuate the premises. I mean femises.,Nixon,"My fellow Earthicans, these eco-crooks will face the maximum sentence. For killing a headless torso, that's six weeks."
Nixon,"My fellow Earthicans, these eco-crooks will face the maximum sentence. For killing a headless torso, that's six weeks.",Bender,"Well, this is embarrassing. Here I've been blabbing on for years about killing all humans, and who actually does something about it? Some chick."
Bender,"Well, this is embarrassing. Here I've been blabbing on for years about killing all humans, and who actually does something about it? Some chick.",Fry,"Leela's not a killer, and she's not some chick. She's the chick I love. And don't tell her I called her a chick, or she'll kill me."
Fry,"Leela's not a killer, and she's not some chick. She's the chick I love. And don't tell her I called her a chick, or she'll kill me.",Frida,(through her megaphone): Everyone stay absolutely quiet!
Frida,(through her megaphone): Everyone stay absolutely quiet!,Feminista,That thing's on. Shh!
Feminista,That thing's on. Shh!,Feminista,Turn it off!
Feminista,Turn it off!,Frida,"(through megaphone): Oh, sorry."
Frida,"(through megaphone): Oh, sorry.",Frida,How do you turn it off?
Frida,How do you turn it off?,Frida,(through megaphone): There. Did that do it?
Frida,(through megaphone): There. Did that do it?,OTHERS,No. Stop it. Shut up.
OTHERS,No. Stop it. Shut up.,Frida,And I think I... Now I got it.
Frida,And I think I... Now I got it.,Leela,Let me give you a hand.
Leela,Let me give you a hand.,Frida,This is awful. I never meant for our protest to have any effect.
Frida,This is awful. I never meant for our protest to have any effect.,Trixie,Maybe we should just surrender and serve our six weeks in jail.
Trixie,Maybe we should just surrender and serve our six weeks in jail.,Dixie,"Hey, yeah! We could do each other's toenails and make shivs."
Dixie,"Hey, yeah! We could do each other's toenails and make shivs.",Leela,"That's crazy. We've done nothing wrong, other than killing and dismembering the vice-president. We need to make a choice, sisters. We can either keep pestering criminals like Leo Wong with silly slogans..."
Leela,"That's crazy. We've done nothing wrong, other than killing and dismembering the vice-president. We need to make a choice, sisters. We can either keep pestering criminals like Leo Wong with silly slogans...",ALL,Yeah. Let's do that.
ALL,Yeah. Let's do that.,Leela,"Actually, I meant that to be the less preferable alternative. We can either chant slogans or we can take action."
Leela,"Actually, I meant that to be the less preferable alternative. We can either chant slogans or we can take action.",Dixie,What was the first choice again?
Dixie,What was the first choice again?,Leela,I choose to save the environment by sabotaging Leo Wong's golf course. Who's with me?
Leela,I choose to save the environment by sabotaging Leo Wong's golf course. Who's with me?,Frida,Could we still use our bullhorns?
Frida,Could we still use our bullhorns?,Leela,Absolutely. Bullhorns are a core principle of eco-feminism.
Leela,Absolutely. Bullhorns are a core principle of eco-feminism.,Frida,Then I'm in.
Frida,Then I'm in.,Leela,Who's ready to kick some sweaty man-butt?
Leela,Who's ready to kick some sweaty man-butt?,Dixie,I've got my pointy man-kicking shoes on.
Dixie,I've got my pointy man-kicking shoes on.,Trixie,Those are cute.
Trixie,Those are cute.,Dixie,Aren't they? I got them at Nine West.
Dixie,Aren't they? I got them at Nine West.,Leela,"Simmer down, warriors. Full power to the vagyroscope!"
Leela,"Simmer down, warriors. Full power to the vagyroscope!",Mr.,"Wong: Those dirty rings. I tried soaking them out, even blasting them out."
Mr.,"Wong: Those dirty rings. I tried soaking them out, even blasting them out.",Frida,Are you sure about this? It would be better for propaganda if we weren't using refined sugar.
Frida,Are you sure about this? It would be better for propaganda if we weren't using refined sugar.,Leela,It's okay. The potato we're shoving in the tailpipe is organic.
Leela,It's okay. The potato we're shoving in the tailpipe is organic.,Mr.,"Wong Ooh, and potatoes."
Mr.,"Wong Ooh, and potatoes.",Leela,"Now, unfortunately, the media is going to put a negative spin on this, like when we killed that guy, so to win public support, we'll need a lovable mascot."
Leela,"Now, unfortunately, the media is going to put a negative spin on this, like when we killed that guy, so to win public support, we'll need a lovable mascot.",Zoidberg,"Squirm all you want, you nasty dumpling. One less species for the universe, one more breakfast for..."
Zoidberg,"Squirm all you want, you nasty dumpling. One less species for the universe, one more breakfast for...",Leela,Zoidberg?
Leela,Zoidberg?,Zoidberg,Leela. Me saving things the leech. Not the eating of it.
Zoidberg,Leela. Me saving things the leech. Not the eating of it.,Leela,"Zoidberg, I'm very surprised at you, slightly."
Leela,"Zoidberg, I'm very surprised at you, slightly.",Fry,Psst! Leela.
Fry,Psst! Leela.,Leela,Shh! I'm a fugitive.
Leela,Shh! I'm a fugitive.,Fry,"I know. I miss you so much, Leela, even more than when you were here."
Fry,"I know. I miss you so much, Leela, even more than when you were here.",Leela,"I miss you, too, Fry. And you probably think what I'm doing is wrong. But it's something I really care about..."
Leela,"I miss you, too, Fry. And you probably think what I'm doing is wrong. But it's something I really care about...",Fry,"You don't have to explain, Leela. You're you. That's all I need to know."
Fry,"You don't have to explain, Leela. You're you. That's all I need to know.",Leela,"Goodbye, sweet goofbag."
Leela,"Goodbye, sweet goofbag.",Bender,"I'll miss her, too, buddy. Dibs on her iPod."
Bender,"I'll miss her, too, buddy. Dibs on her iPod.",Zoidberg,Dibs on her- ohh...
Zoidberg,Dibs on her- ohh...,Hutch,"Hey, Fry! Long time, man."
Hutch,"Hey, Fry! Long time, man.",Fry,"Hey, Hutch! What have you been up to?"
Fry,"Hey, Hutch! What have you been up to?",Hutch,"Same old, same old. Searching the dumpsters, protecting my thoughts with tin foil, peeing myself."
Hutch,"Same old, same old. Searching the dumpsters, protecting my thoughts with tin foil, peeing myself.",Fry,"So, what brings you to Earth?"
Fry,"So, what brings you to Earth?",Hutch,"It's top secret. Hey, take off your helmet and I'll think it to you."
Hutch,"It's top secret. Hey, take off your helmet and I'll think it to you.",Fry,Okay. Here goes.
Fry,Okay. Here goes.,Fry,Where are you? And me?
Fry,Where are you? And me?,Hutch,"The Great Hall of the Ancient Legion of Madfellows. Welcome, bro."
Hutch,"The Great Hall of the Ancient Legion of Madfellows. Welcome, bro.",ALL,"Welcome, bro."
ALL,"Welcome, bro.",Hutch,"Sorry I bashed your head in, buddy, but I had to. You see, the fate of the universe depends on you."
Hutch,"Sorry I bashed your head in, buddy, but I had to. You see, the fate of the universe depends on you.",Fry,"Yeah, I get that a lot."
Fry,"Yeah, I get that a lot.",Hutch,The Grand Curator will tell you more.
Hutch,The Grand Curator will tell you more.,Fry,Take me to him.
Fry,Take me to him.,Nine,"Hey, man."
Nine,"Hey, man.",Fry,Hey.
Fry,Hey.,Nine,"So dig this, Fry. Our commune has been monitoring the universe's life energy for, like, a really long time, and we're grokking some super weird junk."
Nine,"So dig this, Fry. Our commune has been monitoring the universe's life energy for, like, a really long time, and we're grokking some super weird junk.",Fry,"Um, I don't mean to be rude, but it's kind of hard to take you seriously when you say junk like grok and junk."
Fry,"Um, I don't mean to be rude, but it's kind of hard to take you seriously when you say junk like grok and junk.",Nine ,What about commune?
Nine ,What about commune?,Fry,"Especially commune. Come on, it's the fate of the universe, puff it up a little. Like you could say your ancient order is sensing deep upheaval in the cosmic life energy field."
Fry,"Especially commune. Come on, it's the fate of the universe, puff it up a little. Like you could say your ancient order is sensing deep upheaval in the cosmic life energy field.",Nine,"The Green Chee generated a great upwelling of life across the cosmos. But then, for reasons unknown..."
Nine,"The Green Chee generated a great upwelling of life across the cosmos. But then, for reasons unknown...",Fry,"Ooh. Reasons unknown. Now that's the sort of hook that grabs the attention of me, the viewer."
Fry,"Ooh. Reasons unknown. Now that's the sort of hook that grabs the attention of me, the viewer.",Nine,For reasons unknown...
Nine,For reasons unknown...,Fry,Nice.
Fry,Nice.,Nine,"...the Chee began to recede, and the diversity of life began to wither. The life forms we know today are but a fraction of a fraction of the magnificence that once existed."
Nine,"...the Chee began to recede, and the diversity of life began to wither. The life forms we know today are but a fraction of a fraction of the magnificence that once existed.",Hutch,"But a bunch of dudes, right, they totally passed this far-out knowledge down through the ages."
Hutch,"But a bunch of dudes, right, they totally passed this far-out knowledge down through the ages.",Nine,"(VO): Some with this knowledge were called prophets, some, fruitcakes. We, the Legion of Madfellows, are their heirs."
Nine,"(VO): Some with this knowledge were called prophets, some, fruitcakes. We, the Legion of Madfellows, are their heirs.",Fry,Neat. What's it got to do with me?
Fry,Neat. What's it got to do with me?,Nine,"Ahh, pooperdoodle! I mean, pardon the omission. You see, after untold eternities, we have sensed a resurgence in the Chee."
Nine,"Ahh, pooperdoodle! I mean, pardon the omission. You see, after untold eternities, we have sensed a resurgence in the Chee.",Fry,"Hey, that's the violet dwarf star that Leela wants to save."
Fry,"Hey, that's the violet dwarf star that Leela wants to save.",Hutch,"Freaking nailed it, corndog."
Hutch,"Freaking nailed it, corndog.",Nine,"We believe this star heralds a new green age, and it's your destiny to be its shepherd and protector."
Nine,"We believe this star heralds a new green age, and it's your destiny to be its shepherd and protector.",Fry,Me? Why?
Fry,Me? Why?,Hutch,"'Cause you got, like, no delta brainwave, man. The Dark Ones can't groove off your thoughts."
Hutch,"'Cause you got, like, no delta brainwave, man. The Dark Ones can't groove off your thoughts.",Fry,Cool. I can't wait to tell Leela.
Fry,Cool. I can't wait to tell Leela.,Nine,"No! If you tell anyone, then their thoughts could be read. For the sake of those you love, you must keep this secret. Do you foot-swear?"
Nine,"No! If you tell anyone, then their thoughts could be read. For the sake of those you love, you must keep this secret. Do you foot-swear?",Fry,"Oh, okay. I foot-swear."
Fry,"Oh, okay. I foot-swear.",Nine,"Good. Now, to save the coming of the green age, you must stop this man."
Nine,"Good. Now, to save the coming of the green age, you must stop this man.",Fry,I know him. Leo Wong. I work with his daughter.
Fry,I know him. Leo Wong. I work with his daughter.,Nine,"Oh, good, that will cut about 15 minutes of explanation. You must gain Wong's confidence, infiltrate his organization and prevent him from destroying the violet dwarf."
Nine,"Oh, good, that will cut about 15 minutes of explanation. You must gain Wong's confidence, infiltrate his organization and prevent him from destroying the violet dwarf.",Mr.,"Wong: Looking for a job, eh?"
Mr.,"Wong: Looking for a job, eh?",Fry,"Yes, sir. Nothing fancy. I'm willing to start at the bottom and infiltrate my way up."
Fry,I'm good at keeping nutcases.,Mr.,Wong: This idiot don't look like he could handle those feministas.
Mr.,Wong: This idiot don't look like he could handle those feministas.,Fry,I look like an idiot who can handle those feministas.
Fry,I look like an idiot who can handle those feministas.,Mr,Wong (Telepathically): He'll have to do better than that.
Mr,Wong (Telepathically): He'll have to do better than that.,Fry,I'll have to do better than that.
Fry,I'll have to do better than that.,Mr.,Wong: Hmm. You and I think a lot alike. You really think you can stand up to those eco-freakos?
Mr.,Wong: Hmm. You and I think a lot alike. You really think you can stand up to those eco-freakos?,Fry,"Sir, with me around, they'll be the least of your worries."
Fry,"Sir, with me around, they'll be the least of your worries.",Tester,"Stand by, men. And manly aliens. Prepare to test fire King Kong hole."
Tester,"Stand by, men. And manly aliens. Prepare to test fire King Kong hole.",Sal,It workses.
Sal,It workses.,Tester,"Good job, men. And manly aliens. Construction of King Kong hole complete."
Tester,"Good job, men. And manly aliens. Construction of King Kong hole complete.",Frida,"Typical. Always King Kong, never Queen... Quong."
Frida,"Typical. Always King Kong, never Queen... Quong.",Sal,"What are those, hooks? Get out of heres, you hookers."
Sal,"What are those, hooks? Get out of heres, you hookers.",Sal,Helpses!
Sal,Helpses!,Leela,"You go, gorilla !"
Leela,"You go, gorilla !",Morbo,Our top story. The string of eco-vandalism that began with a harmless vice-presidential killing has spread across the galaxy.
Morbo,Our top story. The string of eco-vandalism that began with a harmless vice-presidential killing has spread across the galaxy.,Linda,"Why do you always get to read the top story, Morbo?"
Linda,"Why do you always get to read the top story, Morbo?",Linda,Not all reaction to the crime spree has been negative. We spoke with several people who viewed these courageous eco-feminists as heroes.
Linda,Not all reaction to the crime spree has been negative. We spoke with several people who viewed these courageous eco-feminists as heroes.,Petunia,Some way to show I support 'em. Send them some smokes or something.
Petunia,Some way to show I support 'em. Send them some smokes or something.,Linda,This just in: Root 2 News has received a video communique from the eco-feminists' unknown hideout.
Linda,This just in: Root 2 News has received a video communique from the eco-feminists' unknown hideout.,Linda,Feministas unite!
Linda,Feministas unite!,Linda,(on the TV)
Linda,(on the TV),Nixon,Incredible. Absolutely incredible. You're telling me this TiVo machine can pause and rewind live TV?
Nixon,Incredible. Absolutely incredible. You're telling me this TiVo machine can pause and rewind live TV?,Mr.,"Wong: These crazy broads gonna ruin me, Nixon. You gotta help me. Send the army or something. Something big that shoots."
Mr.,"Wong: These crazy broads gonna ruin me, Nixon. You gotta help me. Send the army or something. Something big that shoots.",Nixon,"Sir, I don't care if you are my biggest contributor. Our armed forces do not serve your private business interests."
Nixon,"Sir, I don't care if you are my biggest contributor. Our armed forces do not serve your private business interests.",Mr.,"Wong: Sorry, I..."
Mr.,"Wong: Sorry, I...",Nixon,"I'm just yanking your chain, Leo. I'm on it like boring on Gerry Ford."
Nixon,"I'm just yanking your chain, Leo. I'm on it like boring on Gerry Ford.",Zapp,"Brannigan: Zapp Brannigan purporting for duty. For the love of God, Kif, less piccolo, more fife."
Zapp,"Brannigan: Zapp Brannigan purporting for duty. For the love of God, Kif, less piccolo, more fife.",Nixon,"Report, Brannigan."
Nixon,"Report, Brannigan.",Zapp,"Yet, I seemed to have stroked myself upon good luck, for a patriot of the highest order has volunteered to lead us to them."
Zapp,"Yet, I seemed to have stroked myself upon good luck, for a patriot of the highest order has volunteered to lead us to them.",Bender,Hey-oh!
Bender,Hey-oh!,Hutch,The fate of the universe depends on you.
Hutch,The fate of the universe depends on you.,Fry,"Yeah, I get that a lot."
Fry,"Yeah, I get that a lot.",Leela,It's amazing. It's like a textbook on evolution.
Leela,It's amazing. It's like a textbook on evolution.,Fry,Except in Kansas.
Fry,Except in Kansas.,Mr.,Wong: I smell sabotage.
Mr.,Wong: I smell sabotage.,Zapp,A patriot of the highest order has volunteered to lead us to them.
Zapp,A patriot of the highest order has volunteered to lead us to them.,Bender,Hey-oh!
Bender,Hey-oh!,Nixon,These eco-feminists are ruthless criminals who'll stop at nothing to save the environment. I don't see how a bending unit can catch them.
Nixon,These eco-feminists are ruthless criminals who'll stop at nothing to save the environment. I don't see how a bending unit can catch them.,Nixon,"Slush him, Kroker."
Nixon,"Slush him, Kroker.",Zapp,"Bender here has identified the femdito commander as my ex-lover, Turanga Leela, whom I once made love at."
Zapp,"Bender here has identified the femdito commander as my ex-lover, Turanga Leela, whom I once made love at.",Nixon,And he's willing to fink her out for a few simoleons?
Nixon,And he's willing to fink her out for a few simoleons?,Bender,"It's not about the money, Nixon, though I'd like much more. She's committed 30 felonies in 12 star systems. If no one stops her, she'll break my record for longest rap sheet."
Bender,"It's not about the money, Nixon, though I'd like much more. She's committed 30 felonies in 12 star systems. If no one stops her, she'll break my record for longest rap sheet.",Nixon,"That's a despicable motive, Bender, and I respect it."
Nixon,"That's a despicable motive, Bender, and I respect it.",Bender,"Gracias. Now, I could find Leela, but you'll need to authorize a wiretap."
Bender,"Gracias. Now, I could find Leela, but you'll need to authorize a wiretap.",Nixon,As many as you like.
Nixon,As many as you like.,Bender,I only need one.
Bender,I only need one.,Nixon,Let's call it six.
Nixon,Let's call it six.,Fry,"Hey, Bender, check it out. I'm Leo Wong's new security guard. I got an ID badge and a flashlight, and I ordered this mustache."
Fry,"Hey, Bender, check it out. I'm Leo Wong's new security guard. I got an ID badge and a flashlight, and I ordered this mustache.",Bender,"Neat. Say, speaking of whatever the hell you just said, I need to make a cell phone telephone call. Can borrow your cell phone telephone?"
Bender,"Neat. Say, speaking of whatever the hell you just said, I need to make a cell phone telephone call. Can borrow your cell phone telephone?",Fry,"Okay, but don't restart my Tetris. I was finally about to get one of those pieces that looks like a backwards L."
Fry,"Okay, but don't restart my Tetris. I was finally about to get one of those pieces that looks like a backwards L.",Bender,"Okay, superstud."
Bender,"Okay, superstud.",Mr.,"Wong: Looking good, security. No feministas getting past you."
Mr.,"Wong: Looking good, security. No feministas getting past you.",Fry,"No, sir. Not on my mustache's watch."
Fry,"No, sir. Not on my mustache's watch.",Amy,"Fry, I can't believe you're working with my dad against Leela. How can you claim to be her friend and still want her in jail?"
Amy,"Fry, I can't believe you're working with my dad against Leela. How can you claim to be her friend and still want her in jail?",Mr.,Wong: Don't mind cranky-pants here. She been cranky ever since she was a fat little girl.
Mr.,Wong: Don't mind cranky-pants here. She been cranky ever since she was a fat little girl.,Amy,Dad!
Amy,Dad!,Mr.,"Wong: Can I be brutally honest, Fry? I always wanted a son."
Mr.,"Wong: Can I be brutally honest, Fry? I always wanted a son.",Fry,"That hurt, but I can take it."
Fry,"That hurt, but I can take it.",Amy,I knew you wanted a son! Why do you think I became a miniature golf champion? Why do you think I wear these stupid boys' sweat suits?
Amy,I knew you wanted a son! Why do you think I became a miniature golf champion? Why do you think I wear these stupid boys' sweat suits?,Mr.,Wong
Mr.,Wong,Fry,"Now, sir, in fairness, Amy's butt is actually pretty hot."
Fry,"Now, sir, in fairness, Amy's butt is actually pretty hot.",Amy,What is it with you men? Why does everything revolve around my butt?
Amy,What is it with you men? Why does everything revolve around my butt?,Mr.,Wong: 'Cause it's so big and massive. He and Fry share a laugh.]
Mr.,Wong: 'Cause it's so big and massive. He and Fry share a laugh.],Fry,Sorry.
Fry,Sorry.,Amy,That's it!
Amy,That's it!,Bender,Whoa! What's with Big Butt?
Bender,Whoa! What's with Big Butt?,Mr.,Wong: She just hungry.
Mr.,Wong: She just hungry.,Bender,"Here you go, Fry."
Bender,"Here you go, Fry.",Fry,Thanks.
Fry,Thanks.,Bender,"Oh! FYI, I dropped that Tetris piece in the wrong place and ended the game."
Bender,"Oh! FYI, I dropped that Tetris piece in the wrong place and ended the game.",Fry,No!
Fry,No!,Frida,Take your mands off of me!
Frida,Take your mands off of me!,Fry,I'm on your side.
Fry,I'm on your side.,Frida,Don't shush me.
Frida,Don't shush me.,Fry,"Please, can you take a message to Leela?"
Fry,"Please, can you take a message to Leela?",Frida,What is it?
Frida,What is it?,Fry,"Just say her sweet goofbag is working to save the violet dwarf star, just like she is."
Fry,"Just say her sweet goofbag is working to save the violet dwarf star, just like she is.",Frida,"Very well, I'll fem-municate your man-formation."
Frida,"Very well, I'll fem-municate your man-formation.",Fry,Just tell her.
Fry,Just tell her.,Farnsworth,"Well, this is it, old friends. Planet Express is done for, what with our delivery crew missing and the abysmal sales of Tickle Me Bender."
Farnsworth,"Well, this is it, old friends. Planet Express is done for, what with our delivery crew missing and the abysmal sales of Tickle Me Bender.",Bender,"Doll Quit touching my junk, pervert!"
Bender,"Doll Quit touching my junk, pervert!",Farnsworth,Hold out your hands and I'll remove your career chips.
Farnsworth,Hold out your hands and I'll remove your career chips.,Zoidberg,When will it end?
Zoidberg,When will it end?,Hermes,"Shouldn't you get that, Professor?"
Hermes,"Shouldn't you get that, Professor?",Farnsworth,Hello?
Farnsworth,Hello?,Mr.,"Wong: Professor, old buddy, I'm gonna blow up the violet dwarf star. So I need you deliver billion-mile security fence to keep out protesters. Dirty business. Lot of money. You corrupt enough?"
Mr.,"Wong: Professor, old buddy, I'm gonna blow up the violet dwarf star. So I need you deliver billion-mile security fence to keep out protesters. Dirty business. Lot of money. You corrupt enough?",Farnsworth,"Good news, crybabies! We're back in business."
Farnsworth,"Good news, crybabies! We're back in business.",Hermes,"Sweet kookaburra of Edinburgh, Professor. You sure you know how to fly this thing?"
Hermes,"Sweet kookaburra of Edinburgh, Professor. You sure you know how to fly this thing?",Farnsworth,"I invented it, didn't I? You wouldn't ask Thomas Edison whether he knew how to use a sexmatron."
Farnsworth,"I invented it, didn't I? You wouldn't ask Thomas Edison whether he knew how to use a sexmatron.",Leela,Halt! What are you doing in this parallelogram of space?
Leela,Halt! What are you doing in this parallelogram of space?,Zoidberg,Amy?
Zoidberg,Amy?,Hermes,Labarbara?
Hermes,Labarbara?,LaBarbara,"That's right, husband. From now on, you make your own Manwiches."
LaBarbara,"That's right, husband. From now on, you make your own Manwiches.",Mrs.,Wong: That was the greatest play I ever saw. It must have had 20 acts.
Mrs.,Wong: That was the greatest play I ever saw. It must have had 20 acts.,Leela,"(over Megaphone): We installed your fence, Leo Wong."
Leela,"(over Megaphone): We installed your fence, Leo Wong.",Linda,Should we shout a clever slogan?
Linda,Should we shout a clever slogan?,Leela,"You mean something like, The best defense is a good fence?"
Leela,"You mean something like, The best defense is a good fence?",Linda,"Yeah, something like that, only funny."
Linda,"Yeah, something like that, only funny.",Leela,"I wish we could, but our chief slogan writer is back at the Honeybun Hideout."
Leela,"I wish we could, but our chief slogan writer is back at the Honeybun Hideout.",Frida,"That reminds me, I've got to tell Leela about that weirdo who wants to save the violet dwarf."
Frida,"That reminds me, I've got to tell Leela about that weirdo who wants to save the violet dwarf.",Mysterious,"Voice: So, the Legion of Madfellows has a new pawn, eh?"
Mysterious,"Voice: So, the Legion of Madfellows has a new pawn, eh?",Frida,"Is somebody here? If you're the DSL guy, you're two days late."
Frida,"Is somebody here? If you're the DSL guy, you're two days late.",Mysterious,Voice: Who gave you that message for Leela?
Mysterious,Voice: Who gave you that message for Leela?,Frida,I don't know his name.
Frida,I don't know his name.,Mysterious,Voice: Then you are of no use to the Dark Ones!
Mysterious,Voice: Then you are of no use to the Dark Ones!,Frida,"Long lost brother, avenge my death."
Frida,"Long lost brother, avenge my death.",Fry,"My dirty, shifty friend?"
Fry,"My dirty, shifty friend?",Hutch,"Hey, Fry, long time."
Hutch,"Hey, Fry, long time.",Hutch,"Welcome back to the Legion of Madfellows, man."
Hutch,"Welcome back to the Legion of Madfellows, man.",Fry,"Why'd you bonk me, you idiot? You could have just asked me to come with you. And where are we? This doesn't look like your regular dumpster."
Fry,"Why'd you bonk me, you idiot? You could have just asked me to come with you. And where are we? This doesn't look like your regular dumpster.",Nine,"All in good time! I guess now is a good time. We're on Mars, in a forgotten cavern abandoned by the native Martians a million years ago."
Nine,"All in good time! I guess now is a good time. We're on Mars, in a forgotten cavern abandoned by the native Martians a million years ago.",Fry,"Actually, it was five years ago. I remember 'cause they washed my socks."
Fry,"Actually, it was five years ago. I remember 'cause they washed my socks.",Nine,"You have done well, Fry. You have ingratiated yourself with Leo Wong."
Nine,"You have done well, Fry. You have ingratiated yourself with Leo Wong.",Fry,"Yup, I kissed his ass from cheek to shining cheek. So, what do I do next?"
Fry,"Yup, I kissed his ass from cheek to shining cheek. So, what do I do next?",Nine,"As Wong security chief, you will be on hand when he attempts to destroy the violet dwarf. You must not let that happen."
Nine,"As Wong security chief, you will be on hand when he attempts to destroy the violet dwarf. You must not let that happen.",Fry,Must let happen.
Fry,Must let happen.,Nine,Not happen!
Nine,Not happen!,Fry,Must let occur.
Fry,Must let occur.,Nine,Let me tell you a story. A story of two alien species so ancient that compared to them the human race is a mere college senior! On a distant planetoid they evolved to cooperate in their quest to survive.
Nine,Let me tell you a story. A story of two alien species so ancient that compared to them the human race is a mere college senior! On a distant planetoid they evolved to cooperate in their quest to survive.,Fry,"Cooperation, because life is a team sport."
Fry,"Cooperation, because life is a team sport.",Nine,"But, over time, one species evolved a better strategy, and an evolutionary arms race began."
Nine,"But, over time, one species evolved a better strategy, and an evolutionary arms race began.",Nine,That concludes the audio-visual portion of our head-clonk and lecture.
Nine,That concludes the audio-visual portion of our head-clonk and lecture.,Fry,"Wait, what happened to the snakes and the frogs? I need to know!"
Fry,"Wait, what happened to the snakes and the frogs? I need to know!",Nine,"The frogs, or possibly the snakes, evolved into vicious killing machines, honed by the merciless forces of natural selection and intelligent design. We call these the Dark Ones!"
Nine,"The frogs, or possibly the snakes, evolved into vicious killing machines, honed by the merciless forces of natural selection and intelligent design. We call these the Dark Ones!",Nine,"Meanwhile, however, the second species evolved to fend off the Dark Ones, befriending and protecting all other living things."
Nine,"Meanwhile, however, the second species evolved to fend off the Dark Ones, befriending and protecting all other living things.",Fry,Even Celine Dion?
Fry,Even Celine Dion?,Nine,"Probably. We call these noble beings the Encyclopods, because their DNA incorporates the DNA of every endangered species they encountered, so they can recreate them if they go extinct."
Nine,"Probably. We call these noble beings the Encyclopods, because their DNA incorporates the DNA of every endangered species they encountered, so they can recreate them if they go extinct.",Fry,"Just as a pillow, a wig and a corncob pipe can be used to recreate my old girlfriend!"
Fry,"Just as a pillow, a wig and a corncob pipe can be used to recreate my old girlfriend!",Nine,Bingo.
Nine,Bingo.,Transition,"Announcer: Meanwhile, at the Honeybun Hideout."
Transition,"Announcer: Meanwhile, at the Honeybun Hideout.",Labarbara,Now you know how it feels to be locked up in a go-go cage.
Labarbara,Now you know how it feels to be locked up in a go-go cage.,Hermes,What the hell are you talking about?
Hermes,What the hell are you talking about?,Labarbara,Shut your man-hole.
Labarbara,Shut your man-hole.,Hermes,I feel dirty.
Hermes,I feel dirty.,Leela,"Are you sure Fry is working for your father? It just doesn't seem like him to be so evil, or to hold down a job."
Leela,"Are you sure Fry is working for your father? It just doesn't seem like him to be so evil, or to hold down a job.",Amy,"It's true, Leela. Cross My Heart bra and swear to Goddess."
Amy,"It's true, Leela. Cross My Heart bra and swear to Goddess.",Leela,"Oh, no! Frida's been murdered!"
Leela,"Oh, no! Frida's been murdered!",Labarbara,Sweet she-cattle of Seattle.
Labarbara,Sweet she-cattle of Seattle.,Hermes,"(from off screen): Not your strong suit, woman."
Hermes,"(from off screen): Not your strong suit, woman.",Amy,Who could have done this?
Amy,Who could have done this?,Leela,Your dad? Nixon?
Leela,Your dad? Nixon?,Amy,Fry?
Amy,Fry?,Leela,So just stay calm while I call Fry.
Leela,So just stay calm while I call Fry.,Fry,So where are the Encyclopods and the Dark Ones now?
Fry,So where are the Encyclopods and the Dark Ones now?,Nine,"Many more died out, like the Encyclopods. But, and this is the great secret of our age, we believe they left an egg behind."
Nine,"Many more died out, like the Encyclopods. But, and this is the great secret of our age, we believe they left an egg behind.",Fry,Is it edible?
Fry,Is it edible?,Nine,"We're not gonna eat it! Not unless we find a second one. No, Fry, we intend to hatch it!"
Nine,"We're not gonna eat it! Not unless we find a second one. No, Fry, we intend to hatch it!",Hutch,And that's where you come in.
Hutch,And that's where you come in.,Fry,And here I am.
Fry,And here I am.,Nine,"At long last the tide of Chee has returned, and its nourishing flow has awakened the dormant egg."
Nine,"At long last the tide of Chee has returned, and its nourishing flow has awakened the dormant egg.",Fry,That's good.
Fry,That's good.,Hutch,"It's better than good. It's better. With its massive stash of DNA, the Encyclopod can reconstruct every species that ever went extinct."
Hutch,"It's better than good. It's better. With its massive stash of DNA, the Encyclopod can reconstruct every species that ever went extinct.",Fry,"So, where is this egg?"
Fry,"So, where is this egg?",Nine,In the violet dwarf star system.
Nine,In the violet dwarf star system.,Fry,And what does it look like?
Fry,And what does it look like?,Nine,A violet dwarf star!
Nine,A violet dwarf star!,Fry,"You mean, the whole star is a single... Whoa! Sci-fi."
Fry,"You mean, the whole star is a single... Whoa! Sci-fi.",Nine,"Alas! Even now, a Dark One is headed to the star to ensure its destruction."
Nine,"Alas! Even now, a Dark One is headed to the star to ensure its destruction.",Fry,Dang! So what does this Dark One look like?
Fry,Dang! So what does this Dark One look like?,Nine,We don't know. I admit it's a horrifically grave situation.
Nine,We don't know. I admit it's a horrifically grave situation.,Hutch,"Don't sugarcoat it, Nine. The Dark Ones have been evolving so long, it could be anything or anyone. Or anybody."
Hutch,"Don't sugarcoat it, Nine. The Dark Ones have been evolving so long, it could be anything or anyone. Or anybody.",Fry,"You mean, like, people?"
Fry,"You mean, like, people?",Hutch,"Any people. It will kill the egg, and every dude, woman and child who knows about it."
Hutch,"Any people. It will kill the egg, and every dude, woman and child who knows about it.",Nine,"Even our crazy caps will be useless at close range. That's why only you, with your defective unreadable brainwave, may be able to thwart them and usher in a new green age of wonder and..."
Nine,"Even our crazy caps will be useless at close range. That's why only you, with your defective unreadable brainwave, may be able to thwart them and usher in a new green age of wonder and...",Fry,You're on Fry-time. Leela! Did you get my message?
Fry,You're on Fry-time. Leela! Did you get my message?,Leela,What message?
Leela,What message?,Fry,Didn't you see Frida Waterfall?
Fry,Didn't you see Frida Waterfall?,LeelaSo,you did kill Frida Waterfall?
LeelaSo,you did kill Frida Waterfall?,Fry,"Well, I can't explain anything, but we should talk anyway. Where are you?"
Fry,"Well, I can't explain anything, but we should talk anyway. Where are you?",Leela,"Oh, no. I'm not gonna expose the Honeybun Hideout. Where are you?"
Leela,"Oh, no. I'm not gonna expose the Honeybun Hideout. Where are you?",Fry,Near the Keeler Crater on Mars. Do you know it?
Fry,Near the Keeler Crater on Mars. Do you know it?,Leela,"I, I, uh... I think I read about it."
Leela,"I, I, uh... I think I read about it.",Leela,I'll meet you at the south rim in one hour. No moustaches.
Leela,I'll meet you at the south rim in one hour. No moustaches.,Zapp,"Kif, set coordinates, 36-24-36. AKA, Leela."
Zapp,"Kif, set coordinates, 36-24-36. AKA, Leela.",Fry,Ten minutes late. Ain't that just like a womanista?
Fry,Ten minutes late. Ain't that just like a womanista?,Leela,Psst. Are you alone?
Leela,Psst. Are you alone?,Fry,"Of course, don't you trust me?"
Fry,"Of course, don't you trust me?",Zapp,"(over PA): There's no escape, Leela. If you surrender, wave your shirt in the air."
Zapp,"(over PA): There's no escape, Leela. If you surrender, wave your shirt in the air.",Leela,"Fry, you traitor!"
Leela,"Fry, you traitor!",Amy,"(over PA): Hop onto the magnet, Leela!"
Amy,"(over PA): Hop onto the magnet, Leela!",Leela,"I can't believe you ratted me out, Fry."
Leela,"I can't believe you ratted me out, Fry.",Fry,"I'm not a rat, I swear. If I'm any rodent, it's the loyal capybara, king of the rats! No, wait."
Fry,"I'm not a rat, I swear. If I'm any rodent, it's the loyal capybara, king of the rats! No, wait.",Amy,"Stay strong, ladies. We can lose them in the giant miniature golf course."
Amy,"Stay strong, ladies. We can lose them in the giant miniature golf course.",Fry,But the course isn't finished. And there's no girls allowed.
Fry,But the course isn't finished. And there's no girls allowed.,Zapp,"So, they want to play mini golf, eh? Two can play at that game. Or even four, depending on the number of ball colors available."
Zapp,"So, they want to play mini golf, eh? Two can play at that game. Or even four, depending on the number of ball colors available.",Zapp,I choose pink.
Zapp,I choose pink.,Kif,"That's their color, sir."
Kif,"That's their color, sir.",Zapp,The hell it is.
Zapp,The hell it is.,Leela,They're gaining on us. We need a birdie on the windmill hole.
Leela,They're gaining on us. We need a birdie on the windmill hole.,Amy,Wait. Wait. Drop the boot!
Amy,Wait. Wait. Drop the boot!,Kif,"Sir, at our present speed, the computer predicts a 100% chance we'll be sliced in half. We'll never make it."
Kif,"Sir, at our present speed, the computer predicts a 100% chance we'll be sliced in half. We'll never make it.",Zapp,"Not with that attitude, we won't. Same speed ahead!"
Zapp,"Not with that attitude, we won't. Same speed ahead!",Zapp,"We made it through, Kif. How many men did we lose?"
Zapp,"We made it through, Kif. How many men did we lose?",Kif,All of them.
Kif,All of them.,Zapp,"Well, at least they won't have to mourn each other. Seal the airlocks, and draw the shades. Resume shooting."
Zapp,"Well, at least they won't have to mourn each other. Seal the airlocks, and draw the shades. Resume shooting.",Fry,"Oh, no! The gorilla! That's a par-four!"
Fry,"Oh, no! The gorilla! That's a par-four!",Leela,The mouth's too dangerous. I'm going for the nose.
Leela,The mouth's too dangerous. I'm going for the nose.,Amy,Don't be a sucker. You won't come out anywhere near the hole. You need to aim for the jaws just when they start to close.
Amy,Don't be a sucker. You won't come out anywhere near the hole. You need to aim for the jaws just when they start to close.,Leela,Start to close? Are you out of your...
Leela,Start to close? Are you out of your...,Leela,We made it!
Leela,We made it!,Zapp,Captaining 101 . Go for the nose.
Zapp,Captaining 101 . Go for the nose.,Kif,You can't sue the military.
Kif,You can't sue the military.,Bender,I'm okay then.
Bender,I'm okay then.,Zapp,Damage report.
Zapp,Damage report.,Kif,"We lost all remaining food and oxygen, Captain. As well as our XM Radio antenna."
Kif,"We lost all remaining food and oxygen, Captain. As well as our XM Radio antenna.",Zapp,"Then this chase is over. Kif, set course for the nearest XM repair facility. Meanwhile, we shall sing top hits from the '80s."
Zapp,"Then this chase is over. Kif, set course for the nearest XM repair facility. Meanwhile, we shall sing top hits from the '80s.",Kif,"Which '80s, sir?"
Kif,"Which '80s, sir?",ZappAnd,I'm hungry like the wolf.
ZappAnd,I'm hungry like the wolf.,Hermes,The shot was too good! We're jamming straight for the hole.
Hermes,The shot was too good! We're jamming straight for the hole.,Zoidberg,"We're gonna crash, even."
Zoidberg,"We're gonna crash, even.",Amy,"Shmeesh, shmill out, shmeverybody. It's a wormhole hole."
Amy,"Shmeesh, shmill out, shmeverybody. It's a wormhole hole.",Farnsworth,...nother part of the universe.
Farnsworth,...nother part of the universe.,Amy,We made it!
Amy,We made it!,Farnsworth,"Uh, whaa..."
Farnsworth,"Uh, whaa...",Leela,Crud nuggets! We de-spaced right next to the Nimbus.
Leela,Crud nuggets! We de-spaced right next to the Nimbus.,Zoidberg,"Just when you think the chase is over, it gets twice as exciting!"
Zoidberg,"Just when you think the chase is over, it gets twice as exciting!",Bender,"Hey, look at that."
Bender,"Hey, look at that.",Zapp,"Well, well, well. My bloodhound-like instincts must have hunted them down while my other parts were throbbing to Duran Duran."
Zapp,"Well, well, well. My bloodhound-like instincts must have hunted them down while my other parts were throbbing to Duran Duran.",Kif,Shall I initiate a pointless and potentially fatal pursuit?
Kif,Shall I initiate a pointless and potentially fatal pursuit?,Zapp,Make it so.
Zapp,Make it so.,Bender,"It's gonna be fun on a bun, in space."
Bender,"It's gonna be fun on a bun, in space.",Leela,Look! The asteroid. Now it's crawling with life. Like Zoidberg's sandals!
Leela,Look! The asteroid. Now it's crawling with life. Like Zoidberg's sandals!,Fry,Wow! It's incredible.
Fry,Wow! It's incredible.,Leela,But it'll be destroyed when Leo Wong blows up the violet dwarf. So why are you helping him?
Leela,But it'll be destroyed when Leo Wong blows up the violet dwarf. So why are you helping him?,Fry,"I can't tell you, Leela. You just have to trust me."
Fry,"I can't tell you, Leela. You just have to trust me.",Leela,"You keep saying that, but you have to give me something to go on or I..."
Leela,"You keep saying that, but you have to give me something to go on or I...",Planet,Express Ship Alarm: Out of whale oil. Out of whale oil.
Planet,Express Ship Alarm: Out of whale oil. Out of whale oil.,Leela,The out-of-fuel indicator. It's indicating.
Leela,The out-of-fuel indicator. It's indicating.,Zoidberg,"Say, what's that violet-colored dwarf-like star thing we're drifting into?"
Zoidberg,"Say, what's that violet-colored dwarf-like star thing we're drifting into?",Leela,The violet dwarf star!
Leela,The violet dwarf star!,Fry,"Of course. The gorilla was the 18th hole, so we're headed into the ball return."
Fry,"Of course. The gorilla was the 18th hole, so we're headed into the ball return.",Zoidberg,"Aye, what else now can go wrong?"
Zoidberg,"Aye, what else now can go wrong?",Zapp,"Ladies, you're under arrest. Prepare to be boarded again and again."
Zapp,"Ladies, you're under arrest. Prepare to be boarded again and again.",Leela,Don't give up yet. I've got one more trick up my sleeve.
Leela,Don't give up yet. I've got one more trick up my sleeve.,Amy,That's exactly the number we need.
Amy,That's exactly the number we need.,Zapp,"Ah, the fairer sex."
Zapp,"Ah, the fairer sex.",Zapp,"Something's very wrong here, and yet a little bit right."
Zapp,"Something's very wrong here, and yet a little bit right.",Leela,(off-screen)
Leela,(off-screen),Bender,(off-screen)
Bender,(off-screen),Leela,Bender?
Leela,Bender?,Bender,"All two tons of me, and if you think that's shocking; wait 'til you see w..."
Bender,"All two tons of me, and if you think that's shocking; wait 'til you see w...",Transition,Announcer
Transition,Announcer,Hutch,"Truth is, you're a mind reader."
Hutch,"Truth is, you're a mind reader.",Fry,"Oh, my God!"
Fry,"Oh, my God!",Hutch,The fate of the universe depends on you.
Hutch,The fate of the universe depends on you.,Fry,"Yeah, I get that a lot."
Fry,"Yeah, I get that a lot.",Leela,It's amazing. It's like a textbook on evolution.
Leela,It's amazing. It's like a textbook on evolution.,Fry,Except in Kansas.
Fry,Except in Kansas.,Mr.,Wong: I smell sabotage.
Mr.,Wong: I smell sabotage.,Leela,(off-screen)
Leela,(off-screen),Bender,(off-screen)
Bender,(off-screen),Bailiff,"Oye, oye, oye. All rise for the honorable Chief Justice D-O-G-G and the Associate Justices."
Bailiff,"Oye, oye, oye. All rise for the honorable Chief Justice D-O-G-G and the Associate Justices.",Snoop,"Dogg's head: Yo. Seat it or beat it. The charges against y'all femditos is murder, mayhem, vandalism, kidnapping and resisting arrest. Damn! The big five. You may now make your opening what you got to say for yourselves."
Snoop,"Dogg's head: Yo. Seat it or beat it. The charges against y'all femditos is murder, mayhem, vandalism, kidnapping and resisting arrest. Damn! The big five. You may now make your opening what you got to say for yourselves.",Leela,"I mean, may it plizzle the cozizzle."
Leela,"I mean, may it plizzle the cozizzle.",Dogg,Proceed.
Dogg,Proceed.,Leela,"These charges are outrageous. Our only goal was to save a rare violet star and its precious ecosystem. If protecting the environment is a crime, then..."
Leela,"These charges are outrageous. Our only goal was to save a rare violet star and its precious ecosystem. If protecting the environment is a crime, then...",Judge,Dogg: Protecting the environment is a crime.
Bailiff,Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?,Nixon,"I... Well, now, I... Am I under oath when I take the oath?"
Nixon,"I... Well, now, I... Am I under oath when I take the oath?",Ruth,Bader Ginsburg's head: Can the witness identify the feminista leader?
Ruth,Bader Ginsburg's head: Can the witness identify the feminista leader?,Bender,"That's her right there, with the I'm gonna kill you Bender look in her eye."
Bender,"That's her right there, with the I'm gonna kill you Bender look in her eye.",Antonin,"Scalia's head: Hey, aren't you the robot who robbed me at gunpoint last year?"
Antonin,"Scalia's head: Hey, aren't you the robot who robbed me at gunpoint last year?",Bender,"No further answers, Your Honor."
Bender,"No further answers, Your Honor.",Fry,"Please, Justice Dogg, Leela and her friends are completely innocent."
Fry,"Please, Justice Dogg, Leela and her friends are completely innocent.",Dogg,Hold up. Were you or were you not abducted by these hoes?
Dogg,Hold up. Were you or were you not abducted by these hoes?,Fry,"Well, abducted is such an ugly word."
Fry,"Well, abducted is such an ugly word.",Clarence,"Thomas' head: Mr. Wong, the court cannot compel you to testify against your own daughter."
Clarence,"Thomas' head: Mr. Wong, the court cannot compel you to testify against your own daughter.",Mr.,"Wong: No. No, I want to. Also, I got something to say about my wife."
Mr.,"Wong: No. No, I want to. Also, I got something to say about my wife.",Dogg,"Aw, yeah. Having heard some of the testimony over these jams I've been listening to, me and my crew will now kick it in the mix."
Dogg,"Aw, yeah. Having heard some of the testimony over these jams I've been listening to, me and my crew will now kick it in the mix.",Dogg,"Court. Bailiff, drop it like it's legal precedent."
Dogg,"Court. Bailiff, drop it like it's legal precedent.",Bailiff,"In the matter of Leo Wong v. The Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, four justices vote to convict, five to acquit."
Bailiff,"In the matter of Leo Wong v. The Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, four justices vote to convict, five to acquit.",Scalia,"However, since the vote was strictly along gender lines and the female justices' votes only count half, you are hereby found guilty."
Scalia,"However, since the vote was strictly along gender lines and the female justices' votes only count half, you are hereby found guilty.",Ginsburg,"It's a humiliating and biased system, but it works."
Ginsburg,"It's a humiliating and biased system, but it works.",Warden,Ladies! Welcome to hell.
Warden,Ladies! Welcome to hell.,Petunia,Beats Nutley on a Saturday night.
Petunia,Beats Nutley on a Saturday night.,Warden,"This is a privately-owned for-profit prison and I run a tight, cheap ship! I've done this by cutting cost everywhere, especially on punishment. I rely on you inmates to make prison unpleasant for yourselves. You're encouraged to sexually harass new prisoners, organize no-holds-barred catfights and maintain poor hygiene."
Warden,"This is a privately-owned for-profit prison and I run a tight, cheap ship! I've done this by cutting cost everywhere, especially on punishment. I rely on you inmates to make prison unpleasant for yourselves. You're encouraged to sexually harass new prisoners, organize no-holds-barred catfights and maintain poor hygiene.",Amy,"Try and make me, copper."
Amy,"Try and make me, copper.",Warden,Taste the lash of my 99-cent-store nightstick!
Warden,Taste the lash of my 99-cent-store nightstick!,Mr.,"Wong: Yee-ha! With the feministas in jail, it full speed ahead. You and me, Fry. We implode the violet dwarf star tomorrow. Ka-boom-boom."
Mr.,"Wong: Yee-ha! With the feministas in jail, it full speed ahead. You and me, Fry. We implode the violet dwarf star tomorrow. Ka-boom-boom.",Fry,You and me?
Fry,You and me?,Mr.,Wong: Yeah.
Mr.,Wong: Yeah.,Fry,Tomorrow?
Fry,Tomorrow?,Mr.,Wong: Tomorrow.
Mr.,Wong: Tomorrow.,Fry,Ka-boom?
Fry,Ka-boom?,Mr.,Wong: Ka-boom-boom.
Mr.,Wong: Ka-boom-boom.,Fry,"Okay, Leo Wong's about to destroy the violet dwarf. So, whatever I need to know to stop him, tell me now."
Fry,"Okay, Leo Wong's about to destroy the violet dwarf. So, whatever I need to know to stop him, tell me now.",Nine,"Alas! Stopping Wong isn't the only problem. One of the Dark Ones will try to stop you from stopping him. So, you must stop it from stopping you from stopping him."
Nine,"Alas! Stopping Wong isn't the only problem. One of the Dark Ones will try to stop you from stopping him. So, you must stop it from stopping you from stopping him.",Fry,But how can I stop it stop me stop him?
Fry,But how can I stop it stop me stop him?,Nine,"Stop it! Behold, the Omega Device."
Nine,"Stop it! Behold, the Omega Device.",Fry,That's it?
Fry,That's it?,Nine,The important thing is what's inside.
Nine,The important thing is what's inside.,Fry,What does that look like?
Fry,What does that look like?,Hutch,"No one knows, man. It was invented by a blind inventor, and the one dude he described it to was deaf."
Hutch,"No one knows, man. It was invented by a blind inventor, and the one dude he described it to was deaf.",Mad,Fellow: So the legend goes.
Mad,Fellow: So the legend goes.,Nine,"When activated, the device will emit a localized blast of delta-band noise to momentarily disable the Dark One."
Nine,"When activated, the device will emit a localized blast of delta-band noise to momentarily disable the Dark One.",Fry,"But the Dark One could look like anything or anyone, right?"
Fry,"But the Dark One could look like anything or anyone, right?",Hutch,Or anywhere.
Hutch,Or anywhere.,Fry,"So, what's your plan to recognize it?"
Fry,"So, what's your plan to recognize it?",Nine,We don't have one.
Nine,We don't have one.,Fry,Got it.
Fry,Got it.,Hutch,"Oh, man! Anyone got some tape or some gum?"
Hutch,"Oh, man! Anyone got some tape or some gum?",Nine,"As my colleague indicated, the plan cannot come from us, Fry. We were counting on you and your unreadable brain to come up with something."
Nine,"As my colleague indicated, the plan cannot come from us, Fry. We were counting on you and your unreadable brain to come up with something.",Fry,That was a mistake.
Fry,That was a mistake.,Nine,I see that now.
Nine,I see that now.,Hutch,"Freaky thing is, the Dark Ones' thoughts are unreadable, just like yours."
Hutch,"Freaky thing is, the Dark Ones' thoughts are unreadable, just like yours.",Nine,"Yes, if we dared unwrap our heads, we could easily locate the one other being whose mind we can't read. The Dark One!"
Nine,"Yes, if we dared unwrap our heads, we could easily locate the one other being whose mind we can't read. The Dark One!",Hutch,But then the Dark One would read our minds and crush them like blood pumpkins.
Hutch,But then the Dark One would read our minds and crush them like blood pumpkins.,Fry,Wait. I can read minds and my mind can't be read. I have a plan.
Fry,Wait. I can read minds and my mind can't be read. I have a plan.,Nine,"Great. Whatever it is, don't tell us."
Nine,"Great. Whatever it is, don't tell us.",Hutch,Wait. Fry can read minds and his mind can't be read. So he can safely scan for the Dark One...
Hutch,Wait. Fry can read minds and his mind can't be read. So he can safely scan for the Dark One...,Nine,Shut up! Shut up!
Nine,Shut up! Shut up!,Hutch,...whose mind can't be read...
Hutch,...whose mind can't be read...,Mysterious,"Voice: Leela, time is running out. We must get to the violet star."
Mysterious,"Voice: Leela, time is running out. We must get to the violet star.",Leela,"Okay, okay. Shut up, already."
Leela,"Okay, okay. Shut up, already.",Dixie,"Nobody's talking, Leela."
Dixie,"Nobody's talking, Leela.",Trixie,We're just painting each other's toenails with rat blood.
Trixie,We're just painting each other's toenails with rat blood.,Linda,We now go live to Leela with the escape plan. Leela?
Linda,We now go live to Leela with the escape plan. Leela?,Leela,"Thanks, Linda. Now we're in here because we tried to save endangered wildlife. So this time, endangered wildlife will save us."
Leela,"Thanks, Linda. Now we're in here because we tried to save endangered wildlife. So this time, endangered wildlife will save us.",Amy,The Martian muck leech.
Amy,The Martian muck leech.,Leela,Little cutie almost sucked me dry.
Leela,Little cutie almost sucked me dry.,Labarbara,Look at him go. Like a green snake through a sugarcane cake.
Labarbara,Look at him go. Like a green snake through a sugarcane cake.,Hermes,(on her cell phone): Keep trying.
Hermes,(on her cell phone): Keep trying.,Morbo,"Our top story. The universe's most wanted eco-feminists are now behind bars, including gang leader, Turanga Leela. AKA, the Notorious B-I-Itch."
Morbo,"Our top story. The universe's most wanted eco-feminists are now behind bars, including gang leader, Turanga Leela. AKA, the Notorious B-I-Itch.",Zoidberg,"We finished un-pinking the ship, Hubert. Now what?"
Zoidberg,"We finished un-pinking the ship, Hubert. Now what?",Farnsworth,"Now we get back to work. And if that means destroying an ecosystem or two, so be it."
Farnsworth,"Now we get back to work. And if that means destroying an ecosystem or two, so be it.",Zoidberg,"I just meant without our good friends Fry, Leela, Amy and the robut."
Zoidberg,"I just meant without our good friends Fry, Leela, Amy and the robut.",Farnsworth,"Oh, boo-hoo."
Farnsworth,"Oh, boo-hoo.",Scruffy,Life goes on. But I believe we'll forever carry the pain on the inside.
Scruffy,Life goes on. But I believe we'll forever carry the pain on the inside.,Amy,"Oh, no, a rooster! That indicates it's the following morning."
Amy,"Oh, no, a rooster! That indicates it's the following morning.",Labarbara,How's that creepy crawler doing?
Labarbara,How's that creepy crawler doing?,Leela,"I'm sorry, femi-sisters, but it pooped out around 3:00 a.m. Poor thing couldn't take another bite."
Leela,"I'm sorry, femi-sisters, but it pooped out around 3:00 a.m. Poor thing couldn't take another bite.",Amy,"Well, I guess we failed. But what matters is, we tried our best and we looked good doing it."
Amy,"Well, I guess we failed. But what matters is, we tried our best and we looked good doing it.",Amy,Bender?
Amy,Bender?,Bender,Who does it look like? My identical cousin Buster?
Bender,Who does it look like? My identical cousin Buster?,Amy,Yes.
Amy,Yes.,Leela,You're here to break us out? But you're the one who put us in.
Leela,You're here to break us out? But you're the one who put us in.,Bender,"But I'm Bender, king of the combination shot. I put you in so that by busting you out, I could commit 15 felonies at once. Puttin' my rap sheet miles ahead of yours on the all-time chart."
Bender,"But I'm Bender, king of the combination shot. I put you in so that by busting you out, I could commit 15 felonies at once. Puttin' my rap sheet miles ahead of yours on the all-time chart.",Leela,You are one devious bastard.
Leela,You are one devious bastard.,Leela,What about the sentries?
Leela,What about the sentries?,Leela,"Okay, Plan B. Everyone knows men have one fatal weakness - they can't resist hookers. Dixie, Trixie, you know what to do."
Leela,"Okay, Plan B. Everyone knows men have one fatal weakness - they can't resist hookers. Dixie, Trixie, you know what to do.",Mr.,"Wong: Ladies and gentleman and whatever, welcome to my most environmentally disastrous implosion ever. A whole star system!"
Mr.,"Wong: Ladies and gentleman and whatever, welcome to my most environmentally disastrous implosion ever. A whole star system!",Zapp,"Kif, old boy, mind if I sit on your shoulders for a better view?"
Zapp,"Kif, old boy, mind if I sit on your shoulders for a better view?",Kif,"Well, actually, sir, I was hoping..."
Kif,"Well, actually, sir, I was hoping...",Mr.,"Wong: My associate Philip Fry here will have honor to blow this ugly, dirty star into nice, clean black hole."
Mr.,"Wong: My associate Philip Fry here will have honor to blow this ugly, dirty star into nice, clean black hole.",Mr.,"Wong: Fry, what you doing down there?"
Mr.,"Wong: Fry, what you doing down there?",Fry,"Just polishing your shoes, Mr. W."
Fry,"Just polishing your shoes, Mr. W.",Mr.,"Wong: Mmm, that nice. Get between the toes there, very dirty."
Mr.,"Wong: Mmm, that nice. Get between the toes there, very dirty.",Bender,"Well, so much for Plan B."
Bender,"Well, so much for Plan B.",Leela,What's Plan C?
Leela,What's Plan C?,Bender,"All situations have the same Plan C. Bending, come on."
Bender,"All situations have the same Plan C. Bending, come on.","Leela,",Bender. It's a brick wall.
"Leela,",Bender. It's a brick wall.,Bender,"Granted, it's not on the list of approved bendables, but I'm so great!"
Bender,"Granted, it's not on the list of approved bendables, but I'm so great!",Amy,Dogs! The boning continues.
Amy,Dogs! The boning continues.,Bender,"Green Bluebird, this is Mr. Fabulous. We are go for cheesing it."
Bender,"Green Bluebird, this is Mr. Fabulous. We are go for cheesing it.",Leela,Uh...
Leela,Uh...,Scruffy,Scruffy. The janitor.
Scruffy,Scruffy. The janitor.,Leela,You helped us escape? Even after we locked you in a go-go cage like common go-go dancers?
Leela,You helped us escape? Even after we locked you in a go-go cage like common go-go dancers?,Farnsworth,"I couldn't live with myself, Leela. I call myself a scientist, wear the white coat and probe a monkey every now and again, yet I put monetary gain ahead of preserving nature. Can you ever forgive me?"
Farnsworth,"I couldn't live with myself, Leela. I call myself a scientist, wear the white coat and probe a monkey every now and again, yet I put monetary gain ahead of preserving nature. Can you ever forgive me?",Scruffy,I reckon.
Scruffy,I reckon.,Leela,"I could kiss you, Professor."
Leela,"I could kiss you, Professor.",Zapp,"Brannigan , as it were, it seems only fitting that I, Commodore 64 Zapp Brannigan, say a few brief pages in honor of..."
Zapp,"Brannigan , as it were, it seems only fitting that I, Commodore 64 Zapp Brannigan, say a few brief pages in honor of...",Nine,"(Telepathically): Whatever your plan is, Fry, I suggest you get on with it. Get... Shoot, I got hot sauce on my Number 9 shirt."
Nine,"(Telepathically): Whatever your plan is, Fry, I suggest you get on with it. Get... Shoot, I got hot sauce on my Number 9 shirt.",Fry,"(Telepathically): Okay, locate the Dark One by finding someone whose thoughts I can't read."
Fry,"(Telepathically): Okay, locate the Dark One by finding someone whose thoughts I can't read.",Zapp,Brannigan: And unaccustomed...
Zapp,Brannigan: And unaccustomed...,Zapp,Brannigan (Telepathically): By God! I'm the greatest speaker of all time. They're suckling at the teats of my every syllable.
Zapp,Brannigan (Telepathically): By God! I'm the greatest speaker of all time. They're suckling at the teats of my every syllable.,Zapp,Brannigan: Allow me now...
Zapp,Brannigan: Allow me now...,Kif,(Telepathically): His voice is like ear sandpaper.I miss Amy.
Kif,(Telepathically): His voice is like ear sandpaper.I miss Amy.,Calculon,"I'd like to thank the academy, my agent, and most of all, my operating system, Windows 7, for everything it... System error."
Calculon,"I'd like to thank the academy, my agent, and most of all, my operating system, Windows 7, for everything it... System error.",Snoop,Dogg (Telepathically): Naked ladies. Naked ladies. Naked ladies. Naked ladies.
Snoop,Dogg (Telepathically): Naked ladies. Naked ladies. Naked ladies. Naked ladies.,Mr.,Wong (Telepathically): I never should have taken that accent elimination class from Jackie Chan.
Mr.,Wong (Telepathically): I never should have taken that accent elimination class from Jackie Chan.,Zapp,"Brannigan: And so, as we obliterize this star, let us remember those immortal words once spoken by a great man, moi. And I quote, All good things must come to an end, preferably in a humongous explosion."
Zapp,"Brannigan: And so, as we obliterize this star, let us remember those immortal words once spoken by a great man, moi. And I quote, All good things must come to an end, preferably in a humongous explosion.",Mr.,Wong: Let's pop this beach ball.
Mr.,Wong: Let's pop this beach ball.,ALL,Ten! Nine! Eight!
ALL,Ten! Nine! Eight!,Fry,"(Telepathically): There's no one here whose thoughts can't be read. No one, except me! My thoughts can't be read. But, but that's crazy. If I were the Dark One, I'd know it, wouldn't I? But, here I am, right where the Dark One would be, about to blow up the star. Oh, God! Somewhere deep inside of me, it's me! I'm the Dark One!"
Fry,"(Telepathically): There's no one here whose thoughts can't be read. No one, except me! My thoughts can't be read. But, but that's crazy. If I were the Dark One, I'd know it, wouldn't I? But, here I am, right where the Dark One would be, about to blow up the star. Oh, God! Somewhere deep inside of me, it's me! I'm the Dark One!",ALL,Two... one!
ALL,Two... one!,Leela,Put your hands in the air!
Leela,Put your hands in the air!,Snoop,Dogg: Should we wave them like we just don't care?
Snoop,Dogg: Should we wave them like we just don't care?,Leela,That's optional.
Leela,That's optional.,Mr.,Wong: You girl punks gone too far this time. Your parents should be ashamed.
Mr.,Wong: You girl punks gone too far this time. Your parents should be ashamed.,Amy,"Yes, you should!"
Amy,"Yes, you should!",Kif,Amy!
Kif,Amy!,Mysterious,"Voice (Telepathically to Mr. Wong): Destroy the star, Leo, hurry."
Mysterious,"Voice (Telepathically to Mr. Wong): Destroy the star, Leo, hurry.",Mr.,"Wong I've gotta admit, Amy, you got a pretty good swing."
Mr.,"Wong I've gotta admit, Amy, you got a pretty good swing.",Amy,"Really? Thanks, Dad."
Amy,"Really? Thanks, Dad.",Fry,"Leela, wait. You're making a mistake. You have no idea what's really going on."
Fry,"Leela, wait. You're making a mistake. You have no idea what's really going on.",Leela,What is really going on?
Leela,What is really going on?,Fry,I can't tell you.
Fry,I can't tell you.,Leela,Then why should I trust you? Why?
Leela,Then why should I trust you? Why?,Fry,Because... Because...
Fry,Because... Because...,Leela,You're you. That's all I need to know.
Leela,You're you. That's all I need to know.,Bender,No! Don't do it!
Bender,No! Don't do it!,Scruffy,Fiddlesticks.
Scruffy,Fiddlesticks.,Amy,"Leela, are you crazy? We became fugitives and jail-breakers to stop him."
Amy,"Leela, are you crazy? We became fugitives and jail-breakers to stop him.",Bender,"And hookers, don't forget hookers."
Bender,"And hookers, don't forget hookers.",Leela,"Shame on all of you. After everything we've been through together, do you really think Fry would-"
Leela,"Shame on all of you. After everything we've been through together, do you really think Fry would-",Fry,"Goodbye, Leela. I destroy myself to save you."
Fry,"Goodbye, Leela. I destroy myself to save you.",Nixon's,Head: Where's the boom? I was expecting a boom.
Nixon's,Head: Where's the boom? I was expecting a boom.,Mysterious,"Voice You're not the Dark One, I am."
Mysterious,"Voice You're not the Dark One, I am.",Fry,Leela?
Fry,Leela?,Mysterious,Voice What did you do to me?
Mysterious,Voice What did you do to me?,Leela,Ew!
Leela,Ew!,Dark,"One: I am the Dark One. The very last Dark One. How is it possible I couldn't read your mind? Oh, I am momentarily disabled."
Dark,"One: I am the Dark One. The very last Dark One. How is it possible I couldn't read your mind? Oh, I am momentarily disabled.",Randy,What's happening out there?
Randy,What's happening out there?,Sal,Somethings wondersful.
Sal,Somethings wondersful.,Leela,The star and the asteroid. They were an egg and a sperm.
Leela,The star and the asteroid. They were an egg and a sperm.,Preacherbot,Great modem of mercy. Cover the children's eyes.
Preacherbot,Great modem of mercy. Cover the children's eyes.,Morbo,There are no children here.
Morbo,There are no children here.,Preacherbot,Then move your fat head. I can't see.
Preacherbot,Then move your fat head. I can't see.,Nine,The Encyclopod is reborn. A new green age has begun!
Nine,The Encyclopod is reborn. A new green age has begun!,Mad,Fellow: So the legend foretold.
Mad,Fellow: So the legend foretold.,Farnsworth,Look! Inside its pouch. Extinct Tasmanian tigers.
Farnsworth,Look! Inside its pouch. Extinct Tasmanian tigers.,Amy,And dodo birds.
Amy,And dodo birds.,Leela,And white rhinos.
Leela,And white rhinos.,Hermes,And striped biologist-taunters.
Hermes,And striped biologist-taunters.,Striped,"biologist-taunter: What are you gonna do, shoot us?"
Striped,"biologist-taunter: What are you gonna do, shoot us?",Encyclopod,"These once extinct plants and animals are my gift to the universe. Through untold generations, my race has treasured their DNA. Treat them wisely with the knowledge that all species are precious."
Encyclopod,"These once extinct plants and animals are my gift to the universe. Through untold generations, my race has treasured their DNA. Treat them wisely with the knowledge that all species are precious.",Leela,This is unbelievable. What's going on?
Leela,This is unbelievable. What's going on?,Hutch,"To answer that, I must tell you a story. A story of two alien species so ancient that-"
Hutch,"To answer that, I must tell you a story. A story of two alien species so ancient that-",Fry,"Hutch, are you okay?"
Fry,"Hutch, are you okay?",Fry,"Hey, how come I can't read your thoughts anymore?"
Fry,"Hey, how come I can't read your thoughts anymore?",Encyclopod,"I shall avenge you, Hutch Waterfall."
Encyclopod,"I shall avenge you, Hutch Waterfall.",Nine,"After all these eons, the Dark Ones are no more. Will you preserve their DNA, O' Great Encyclopod?"
Nine,"After all these eons, the Dark Ones are no more. Will you preserve their DNA, O' Great Encyclopod?",Encyclopod,"I suppose I should. Wait, where did it go?"
Encyclopod,"I suppose I should. Wait, where did it go?",Zoidberg,What?
Zoidberg,What?,Encyclopod,"Well, at any rate, I shall preserve the DNA of Homo sapiens."
Encyclopod,"Well, at any rate, I shall preserve the DNA of Homo sapiens.",Fry,Huh. I thought you only saved the DNA of endangered species.
Fry,Huh. I thought you only saved the DNA of endangered species.,Fry,I guess he didn't hear me.
Fry,I guess he didn't hear me.,Bender,"Well, looks like that wraps everything up in a nice big, old, fat sack of..."
Bender,"Well, looks like that wraps everything up in a nice big, old, fat sack of...",Zapp,Brannigan Kif?
Zapp,Brannigan Kif?,Kif,Wait for me.
Kif,Wait for me.,Fry,"Well, this is the end. There was so many things I wanted to say to you."
Fry,"Well, this is the end. There was so many things I wanted to say to you.",Leela,Like what?
Leela,Like what?,Fry,"Like this is not the end. But mostly just, I love you, Leela."
Fry,"Like this is not the end. But mostly just, I love you, Leela.",Hermes,"Sweet topology of cosmology, it's huge!"
Hermes,"Sweet topology of cosmology, it's huge!",Farnsworth,"If we fly into it, it could take us trillions of light years away. There's no knowing if we'll ever return."
Farnsworth,"If we fly into it, it could take us trillions of light years away. There's no knowing if we'll ever return.",Fry,What do we do? Should we go for it?
Fry,What do we do? Should we go for it?,ALL,"Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go."
ALL,"Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.",Fry,"Professor, my Fry-fro's all frizzy."
Fry,"Professor, my Fry-fro's all frizzy.",Farnsworth,OK.
Farnsworth,OK.,Fry,"Oh, also; I'm covered with severe burns."
Fry,"Oh, also; I'm covered with severe burns.",Farnsworth,So!?  What of it?
Farnsworth,So!?  What of it?,Fry,"Well, why is– those things?"
Fry,"Well, why is– those things?",Farnsworth,You mean you don't remember?
Farnsworth,You mean you don't remember?,Fry,"Nope, nothing. It's like when I passed out in college, except no one drew magic marker penises on my forehead."
Fry,"Nope, nothing. It's like when I passed out in college, except no one drew magic marker penises on my forehead.",Farnsworth,It all began a few days ago. We were interstellar fugitives on the run from the law.
Farnsworth,It all began a few days ago. We were interstellar fugitives on the run from the law.,Zapp,Fire all weapons and open a hailing frequency for my victory yodel.
Zapp,Fire all weapons and open a hailing frequency for my victory yodel.,Farnsworth,"And so, as you and Leela kissed goodbye in a tender display of toungesmanship, we plunged into a massive wormhole. Never to be seen again."
Farnsworth,"And so, as you and Leela kissed goodbye in a tender display of toungesmanship, we plunged into a massive wormhole. Never to be seen again.",Bender,"Yeah, we're back."
Bender,"Yeah, we're back.",Hermes,"Sweet coincidence of Port-au-Prince, we're back at Earth!"
Hermes,"Sweet coincidence of Port-au-Prince, we're back at Earth!",Farnsworth,"Of course, that was the Panama Wormhole, Earth's central channel for shipping!"
Farnsworth,"Of course, that was the Panama Wormhole, Earth's central channel for shipping!",Zoidberg,How humorous.
Zoidberg,How humorous.,Farnsworth,"Yes! It's sort of a Comedy Central channel, and we're on it now!"
Farnsworth,"Yes! It's sort of a Comedy Central channel, and we're on it now!",Amy,I get it!
Amy,I get it!,Fry,"We've lost power to the forward Game Boy, Mario not responding!"
Fry,"We've lost power to the forward Game Boy, Mario not responding!",Leela,Brace for emergency landing!
Leela,Brace for emergency landing!,Farnsworth,Also mine has air conditioning.
Farnsworth,Also mine has air conditioning.,Farnsworth,"Yet, thanks to my trusty safety sphere, I surblibed with only tribial bray dablage."
Farnsworth,"Yet, thanks to my trusty safety sphere, I surblibed with only tribial bray dablage.",Fry,And the others?
Fry,And the others?,Farnsworth,Right here behind this horror cloth.
Farnsworth,Right here behind this horror cloth.,Fry,Are they dead?
Fry,Are they dead?,Farnsworth,"Oh, no no no, much worse."
Farnsworth,"Oh, no no no, much worse.",Farnsworth,"Come on, stem cells. Work your astounding scientific nonsense!"
Farnsworth,"Come on, stem cells. Work your astounding scientific nonsense!",Fry,Fetal steam cells? Aren't those controversial?
Fry,Fetal steam cells? Aren't those controversial?,Farnsworth,"In your time yes, but nowadays, shut up! Besides, these are adult stem cells harvested from perfectly healthy adults, whom I killed for their stem cells."
Farnsworth,"In your time yes, but nowadays, shut up! Besides, these are adult stem cells harvested from perfectly healthy adults, whom I killed for their stem cells.",Fry,Hermes Conrad!
Fry,Hermes Conrad!,Hermes,"Oh, mon! I'm dripping with placenta! Good thing it's Casual Friday."
Hermes,"Oh, mon! I'm dripping with placenta! Good thing it's Casual Friday.",Fry,Amy Wong!
Fry,Amy Wong!,Amy,"Oh, baby soft!"
Amy,"Oh, baby soft!",Hermes,Dr. Zoidberg!
Hermes,Dr. Zoidberg!,Zoidberg,Oops.
Zoidberg,Oops.,Fry,And the rest!
Fry,And the rest!,Amy,"Hooray, we're back in business!"
Amy,"Hooray, we're back in business!",Zapp,"Uh, never mind."
Zapp,"Uh, never mind.",Bender,I'm dying. I need mouth to ass resuscitation.
Bender,I'm dying. I need mouth to ass resuscitation.,Fry,It's not working!
Fry,It's not working!,Bender:],I die happy knowing you fell for that.
Bender:],I die happy knowing you fell for that.,Farnsworth,That's because the doomsday device I shoved all up in you puts out 50 gigawatts. That's ten times your recommended--
Farnsworth,That's because the doomsday device I shoved all up in you puts out 50 gigawatts. That's ten times your recommended--,Farnsworth,"You must burn off the doomsday energy as fast as it produces, or it will build to critical levels."
Farnsworth,"You must burn off the doomsday energy as fast as it produces, or it will build to critical levels.",Bender,You don't mean...
Bender,You don't mean...,Farnsworth,"Oh, but I do. If you stop partying for a single second, you'll explode and kill everyone here in a fireball of melting gears and splattered bowels."
Farnsworth,"Oh, but I do. If you stop partying for a single second, you'll explode and kill everyone here in a fireball of melting gears and splattered bowels.",Fry,Is she okay? Why hasn't she acknowledged my dinner offer?
Fry,Is she okay? Why hasn't she acknowledged my dinner offer?,Fry,"Poke harder, damn it!"
Fry,"Poke harder, damn it!",Farnsworth,but I'm afraid Leela is in an irreversible coma.
Farnsworth,but I'm afraid Leela is in an irreversible coma.,Bender,"Coma, coma, coma, coma, coma, chameleon!"
Bender,"Coma, coma, coma, coma, coma, chameleon!",Fry,My soul mate is gone. Why should I go on living?
Fry,My soul mate is gone. Why should I go on living?,Fry,"But, what if I forget the sweet sound of her voice or the moist touch of her eyeball on my lips?"
Fry,"But, what if I forget the sweet sound of her voice or the moist touch of her eyeball on my lips?",Bender,Aw! Are you still hung up on Whatshername? Move on already!
Bender,Aw! Are you still hung up on Whatshername? Move on already!,Fry,Maybe you're right.
Fry,Maybe you're right.,Bender,Maybe I'm always right.
Bender,Maybe I'm always right.,Fry,Build-A-Bot Workshop? It's time to start living again!
Fry,Build-A-Bot Workshop? It's time to start living again!,Fry,Now that I like for some reason.
Fry,Now that I like for some reason.,Robot,Leela: I like jellybeans. Do you?
Robot,Leela: I like jellybeans. Do you?,Fry,"I sure do, honey."
Fry,"I sure do, honey.",Farnsworth,"Come now, Fry!  You can't live out this sick fantasy!  Not without our help."
Farnsworth,"Come now, Fry!  You can't live out this sick fantasy!  Not without our help.",Amy,"And yet, it still hasn't stopped the elusive bathroom burglar."
Amy,"And yet, it still hasn't stopped the elusive bathroom burglar.",Hermes,"Computer, analyze tapes and extract personality profile of one Turanga Leela."
Hermes,"Computer, analyze tapes and extract personality profile of one Turanga Leela.",Computer],Dammit. Analysis complete.
Computer],Dammit. Analysis complete.,Computer,Attributes transferred...Shoe size 12...etc.
Computer,Attributes transferred...Shoe size 12...etc.,Robot,Leela]
Robot,Leela],Robot,Leela: This is wonderful! The last thing I remember I was dying in an explosion. Yet here I am in the flesh more alive than ever!
Robot,Leela: This is wonderful! The last thing I remember I was dying in an explosion. Yet here I am in the flesh more alive than ever!,Hermes,"You better tell her, Fry."
Hermes,"You better tell her, Fry.",Robot,Leela: Tell me what?
Robot,Leela: Tell me what?,Hermes,"Anyway, my work is done. I'm gonna hit the showers."
Hermes,"Anyway, my work is done. I'm gonna hit the showers.",Robot,Leela
Robot,Leela,Robot,"Leela: Am I really just a robot? I mean, I have Leela's memories!  Her opinion of gazelles! (Majestic.)  Her emotions! (Confused and hurt.)"
Robot,"Leela: Am I really just a robot? I mean, I have Leela's memories!  Her opinion of gazelles! (Majestic.)  Her emotions! (Confused and hurt.)",Fry],"I mean her—Wait, help me out here."
Fry],"I mean her—Wait, help me out here.",Bender,Do the Bender! Do the Bender!
Bender,Do the Bender! Do the Bender!,Randy,No thank you.
Randy,No thank you.,Robot,Leela feelings? Am I just an automaton or can a machine of sufficient complexity legitimately achieve consciousness?
Robot,Leela feelings? Am I just an automaton or can a machine of sufficient complexity legitimately achieve consciousness?,Fry,I agree.
Fry,I agree.,Robot,Leela] friends?
Robot,Leela] friends?,Fry],Okay.
Fry],Okay.,Bender,"Listen up, disco dummies, you just flunked outta Bender's College for Party Knowledge!"
Bender,"Listen up, disco dummies, you just flunked outta Bender's College for Party Knowledge!",Bender,Do the back dance! Do the back dance! Ooh....
Bender,Do the back dance! Do the back dance! Ooh....,Farnsworth,(v.o.):
Farnsworth,(v.o.):,Farnsworth,"(cont'd)] After all, there's always hope."
Farnsworth,"(cont'd)] After all, there's always hope.",Fry,Really?
Fry,Really?,Farnsworth],"No, don't get your hopes up. Frankly, she's just a brainless mound of scabs and pus."
Farnsworth],"No, don't get your hopes up. Frankly, she's just a brainless mound of scabs and pus.",Fry],Oh! I didn't need to hear that.
Fry],Oh! I didn't need to hear that.,Machine,Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
Machine,Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!,Machine,Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!
Machine,Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!,Farnsworth,"Well, that's it. I'm afraid traditional medicine has failed."
Farnsworth,"Well, that's it. I'm afraid traditional medicine has failed.",Fry],I! Love! You!
Fry],I! Love! You!,Robot,"Leela: Fry, stop. She's gone."
Robot,"Leela: Fry, stop. She's gone.",Farnsworth,"Dr. Zoidberg, can you note the time and declare the patient legally dead?"
Farnsworth,"Dr. Zoidberg, can you note the time and declare the patient legally dead?",Zoidberg,I? That's my specialty.
Zoidberg,I? That's my specialty.,Hermes,"As you all know, Leela's living will states that in the event of coma, her body is to be fed to the wild Cyclophage, a highly endangered creature that eats only cyclopses."
Hermes,"As you all know, Leela's living will states that in the event of coma, her body is to be fed to the wild Cyclophage, a highly endangered creature that eats only cyclopses.",Farnsworth,The beast aproacheth.
Farnsworth,The beast aproacheth.,Bender,To the beat y'all! To the beat y'all! I'm dancin' a jig wid ma feets y'all!
Bender,To the beat y'all! To the beat y'all! I'm dancin' a jig wid ma feets y'all!,Amy,"(whispering): Bender, cut it out! People are trying to have emotions!"
Amy,"(whispering): Bender, cut it out! People are trying to have emotions!",Bender,(angry)]
Bender,(angry)],Leela,"Bender, shut the hell up!"
Leela,"Bender, shut the hell up!",Farnsworth,"Bender, stop shutting the hell up!"
Farnsworth,"Bender, stop shutting the hell up!",Bender],Leela's back. As if I care. Woo.
Bender],Leela's back. As if I care. Woo.,Fry,Leela?!
Fry,Leela?!,Robot,Leela: Leela?
Robot,Leela: Leela?,Leela],Leela?
Leela],Leela?,Hermes,Leela.
Hermes,Leela.,Leela],How is this possible? And can you believe she wore a tank top to my funeral?
Leela],How is this possible? And can you believe she wore a tank top to my funeral?,Robot,Leela] We gotta get outta here!
Robot,Leela] We gotta get outta here!,Bender,"Ooh, yeah, baby, come on!"
Bender,"Ooh, yeah, baby, come on!",Leela,There's no room for two captains' butts in this chair!
Leela,There's no room for two captains' butts in this chair!,Robot,Leela be if you'd taken a spin class instead of lounging around in a coma!
Robot,Leela be if you'd taken a spin class instead of lounging around in a coma!,Leela,(v.o.): This is crazy.
Leela,(v.o.): This is crazy.,Leela,It's like I'm looking at an exact robot duplicate of myself.
Leela,It's like I'm looking at an exact robot duplicate of myself.,Farnsworth,what you're looking at.
Farnsworth,what you're looking at.,Leela,"Oh.  How could you do this, Fry?"
Leela,"Oh.  How could you do this, Fry?",Fry,"Uh, coma. Sad."
Fry,"Uh, coma. Sad.",Robot,Leela
Robot,Leela,Fry,you.
Fry,you.,Fry,"I need cheering up, Bender.  I dunno.  You wanna go out and party tonight?"
Fry,"I need cheering up, Bender.  I dunno.  You wanna go out and party tonight?",Bender,"I hate partying!  If only I didn't have so much crunk in my badunkadunk!  Ooh, yeah! Come on, babe!"
Bender,"I hate partying!  If only I didn't have so much crunk in my badunkadunk!  Ooh, yeah! Come on, babe!",Fry,"(sighing): Why does everything I date run away?  I love Leela, always and forever.  And if I loved Robot Leela, too..."
Fry,"(sighing): Why does everything I date run away?  I love Leela, always and forever.  And if I loved Robot Leela, too...",Fry,"(cont'd): ...well, that's only 'cause she had so much of real Leela in her.  I thought she loved me, too, but, obviously, I was wrong as usual."
Fry,"(cont'd): ...well, that's only 'cause she had so much of real Leela in her.  I thought she loved me, too, but, obviously, I was wrong as usual.",Leela,Wrong again.  You were right.
Leela,Wrong again.  You were right.,Fry,Leela?
Fry,Leela?,Leela],"As long as Robo-Leela's not a jealous type like me, thing will wor—"
Leela],"As long as Robo-Leela's not a jealous type like me, thing will wor—",Robot,Leela] He's mine!
Robot,Leela] He's mine!,Leela,"Oh, back off, missy!"
Leela,"Oh, back off, missy!",Amy],"Here, take this."
Amy],"Here, take this.",Fry,A gun?!  D-Do I really need to—?
Fry,A gun?!  D-Do I really need to—?,Leela,Shoot her!  She's the robot!
Leela,Shoot her!  She's the robot!,Robot,Leela!  She's the human!
Robot,Leela!  She's the human!,Fry,But-But how do I know who's the human and who's the robot?
Fry,But-But how do I know who's the human and who's the robot?,Leela,We just told you!
Leela,We just told you!,Robot,"Leela: Yeah, you idiot!"
Robot,"Leela: Yeah, you idiot!",Fry,"(gasps): I'm a robot, too!"
Fry,"(gasps): I'm a robot, too!",Zoidberg,explains this growth on your drive shaft.
Zoidberg,explains this growth on your drive shaft.,Robot,Fry: But how is this possible?
Robot,Fry: But how is this possible?,Farnsworth,"Who knows?  Oh, I do.  Allow me to explain what really happened the day the ship crashed."
Farnsworth,"Who knows?  Oh, I do.  Allow me to explain what really happened the day the ship crashed.",Fry,"I'll protect you, Leela!  My love is stronger than the vast majority of explosions!"
Fry,"I'll protect you, Leela!  My love is stronger than the vast majority of explosions!",Farnsworth,(v.o.)
Farnsworth,(v.o.),Farnsworth,(v.o.) and built a duplicate...
Farnsworth,(v.o.) and built a duplicate...,Farnsworth,(v.o): ...then uploaded his personality from the urinal surveillance tapes.
Farnsworth,(v.o): ...then uploaded his personality from the urinal surveillance tapes.,Fry,I sure love Leela.
Fry,I sure love Leela.,Farnsworth,"(v.o.): Alas, in recreating Fry's adorable jelly belly, she had overstuffed him with copper wadding."
Farnsworth,"(v.o.): Alas, in recreating Fry's adorable jelly belly, she had overstuffed him with copper wadding.",Farnsworth,(v.o.): The inevitable static discharged electrocuted Leela and destroyed both of their short-term memories.
Farnsworth,(v.o.): The inevitable static discharged electrocuted Leela and destroyed both of their short-term memories.,Robot,Fry why I'm so amazed by these things I already knew.
Robot,Fry why I'm so amazed by these things I already knew.,Farnsworth,(v.o.): What could I do?  I hung up Leela with the other bone bags and went to procure the final ingredient for my stem cell brew.
Farnsworth,(v.o.): What could I do?  I hung up Leela with the other bone bags and went to procure the final ingredient for my stem cell brew.,Robot,"Fry: Professor, my Fry-fro's all frizzy."
Robot,"Fry: Professor, my Fry-fro's all frizzy.",Leela,"My god, I can't believe I'll never see that particular Fry again."
Leela,"My god, I can't believe I'll never see that particular Fry again.",Fry,"Hey, where's my shoes?"
Fry,"Hey, where's my shoes?",Robot,Fry: Fry!
Robot,Fry: Fry!,Fry,"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was already here. Wait, what's with all the Leelas?"
Fry,"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was already here. Wait, what's with all the Leelas?",Robot,"Fry: Trust me, don't ask."
Robot,"Fry: Trust me, don't ask.",Fry,"Okay, dork. Listen, I'm gonna hit the urinal, maybe talk about myself a little bit, then—"
Fry,"Okay, dork. Listen, I'm gonna hit the urinal, maybe talk about myself a little bit, then—",Robot,Leela Fry.
Robot,Leela Fry.,Robot,Fry Leela.
Robot,Fry Leela.,Robot,Leela: We're robots and we're in love. Let's ditch these meat jackets.
Robot,Leela: We're robots and we're in love. Let's ditch these meat jackets.,Robot,"Fry: Whoa, cool!"
Robot,"Fry: Whoa, cool!",Robot,"Fry Hasta la vista, wiener!"
Robot,"Fry Hasta la vista, wiener!",Robot,Leela We'll be back...for our stuff.
Robot,Leela We'll be back...for our stuff.,Amy,Why did their voices change?
Amy,Why did their voices change?,Farnsworth,That's the one thing we'll never truly understand.
Farnsworth,That's the one thing we'll never truly understand.,Fry,"Uh, this is a bit awkward.  Or is it?"
Fry,"Uh, this is a bit awkward.  Or is it?",Leela,I'm not sure. I lost track around the second robot.
Leela,I'm not sure. I lost track around the second robot.,Fry,"Well, you know how I feel.  I waited for you for a thousand years.  I can wait a little longer."
Fry,"Well, you know how I feel.  I waited for you for a thousand years.  I can wait a little longer.",Bender,Pffft!  What a load of mush!  I've had it!
Bender,Pffft!  What a load of mush!  I've had it!,Amy,(gasps): He's gonna blow!
Amy,(gasps): He's gonna blow!,Farnsworth,"Party, Bender!  Party for your life!"
Farnsworth,"Party, Bender!  Party for your life!",Bender,"No chance, hot pants!  I'd rather die and kill all of you than party for one more millisecond!"
Bender,"No chance, hot pants!  I'd rather die and kill all of you than party for one more millisecond!",Leela,The cyclops eater!
Leela,The cyclops eater!,Bender,"Hold on, mac!  It ain't like that!"
Bender,"Hold on, mac!  It ain't like that!",Bender,"Geez, what's it take to kill me?"
Bender,"Geez, what's it take to kill me?",Farnsworth,"Bender, you blew out your excess capacity!  You're cured!"
Farnsworth,"Bender, you blew out your excess capacity!  You're cured!",Bender],"Oh, sweet mercy.  My hellish nightmare is over. I never have to party again."
Bender],"Oh, sweet mercy.  My hellish nightmare is over. I never have to party again.",Fry,"Well, that's that, then.  We're back, everyone!"
Fry,"Well, that's that, then.  We're back, everyone!",Bender,Party!!
Bender,Party!!,Zapp,Wheeee!
Zapp,Wheeee!,Transition,Announcer!  Brought to you by Bartley's Rocket Wax.
Transition,Announcer!  Brought to you by Bartley's Rocket Wax.,Zapp,I wax my rocket every day.
Zapp,I wax my rocket every day.,Emperor,"Chop Chop: No one can save you now, Leela."
Emperor,"Chop Chop: No one can save you now, Leela.",Leela,"Actress: Well, what about Zapp Brannigan?"
Leela,"Actress: Well, what about Zapp Brannigan?",Emperor,Chop Chop] Zapp Brannigan!
Emperor,Chop Chop] Zapp Brannigan!,Leela,"Actress: Oh, Zapp!  Tie me back up and ravish me!"
Leela,"Actress: Oh, Zapp!  Tie me back up and ravish me!",Zapp,"I'd like to, Leela.  So I will."
Zapp,"I'd like to, Leela.  So I will.",Zapp],I surrender and volunteer for treason!
Zapp],I surrender and volunteer for treason!,Kif,"Emergency summons from the President, captain."
Kif,"Emergency summons from the President, captain.",Zapp],"Computer, captain's musk."
Zapp],"Computer, captain's musk.",Zapp,The long dramatic corridor.  That's never a good sign.
Zapp,The long dramatic corridor.  That's never a good sign.,Zapp,"Mr. President, what the hell?"
Zapp,"Mr. President, what the hell?",Nixon,"At ease, Brannigan."
Nixon,"At ease, Brannigan.",Nixon,"What you're about to see is highly classified. Reptillicus, hit the thingy."
Nixon,"What you're about to see is highly classified. Reptillicus, hit the thingy.",Zapp,Why's it still blurry?
Zapp,Why's it still blurry?,Kif,That's all the resolution we have. Making it bigger doesn't make it clearer.
Kif,That's all the resolution we have. Making it bigger doesn't make it clearer.,Nixon,"They fought back with advance military hardware, but it was like shooting BB's at Bebe Rebozo."
Nixon,"They fought back with advance military hardware, but it was like shooting BB's at Bebe Rebozo.",Zapp,That poor brave hardware.
Zapp,That poor brave hardware.,Nixon,The sphere then fired some kind of hellish blackout ray.  Erased that planet like eighteen minutes of incriminating tape.
Nixon,The sphere then fired some kind of hellish blackout ray.  Erased that planet like eighteen minutes of incriminating tape.,Zapp,"Oh, I just wish I understood why.  Why I should care."
Zapp,"Oh, I just wish I understood why.  Why I should care.",Nixon,Because the death sphere is now on course for Earth! Rowrowooooooo!!
Nixon,Because the death sphere is now on course for Earth! Rowrowooooooo!!,Zapp,"My god, we're defenseless. Like fish in a barrel."
Zapp,"My god, we're defenseless. Like fish in a barrel.",Nixon,Options?
Nixon,Options?,Zapp],Like the wily fish.
Zapp],Like the wily fish.,Nixon],Then we're down to our last hope.  A radical new weapon built by a visionary scientist I once dismissed as crazy.
Nixon],Then we're down to our last hope.  A radical new weapon built by a visionary scientist I once dismissed as crazy.,Farnsworth],The correct answer is: very.
Farnsworth],The correct answer is: very.,Nixon,"Alright, Professor. Sock it to me!"
Nixon,"Alright, Professor. Sock it to me!",Farnsworth,"Top secret news, everyone! I've developed a tiny one-man stealth fighter that's virtually undetectable."
Farnsworth,"Top secret news, everyone! I've developed a tiny one-man stealth fighter that's virtually undetectable.",Zapp],How undetectable?
Zapp],How undetectable?,Farnsworth,It's right in front of you.
Farnsworth,It's right in front of you.,Zapp]—to,believe.
Zapp]—to,believe.,Bender,But how exactly is this Happy Meal toy gonna destroy a giant death sphere?
Bender,But how exactly is this Happy Meal toy gonna destroy a giant death sphere?,Farnsworth,From within.  This ship should be able to sneak undetected through the sphere's one vulnerable opening.
Farnsworth,From within.  This ship should be able to sneak undetected through the sphere's one vulnerable opening.,Hermes,What vulnerable opening?
Hermes,What vulnerable opening?,Farnsworth,death spheres have one vulnerable opening.
Farnsworth,death spheres have one vulnerable opening.,Zoidberg,"Well, sure, but who's brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere?"
Zoidberg,"Well, sure, but who's brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere?",NIxon,I say Brannigan.
NIxon,I say Brannigan.,Zapp],I say no.
Zapp],I say no.,Leela,I say me.
Leela,I say me.,Nixon,I say Leela.
Nixon,I say Leela.,Leela,I say yes.
Leela,I say yes.,Fry,I say no.
Fry,I say no.,Zapp,"I say Leela, too."
Zapp,"I say Leela, too.",Leela,I say yes again.
Leela,I say yes again.,Zapp,I say I shall join her.
Zapp,I say I shall join her.,Leela,But it's only a one-man craft...I say.
Leela,But it's only a one-man craft...I say.,Zapp,one man.  Me.  How would you feel if I rode rear as your personal tail gunner?
Zapp,one man.  Me.  How would you feel if I rode rear as your personal tail gunner?,Leela,Creeped out.
Leela,Creeped out.,Leela,Are you sure I have to sit in your lap?
Leela,Are you sure I have to sit in your lap?,Zapp,It'll help us achieve maximum thrust.
Zapp,It'll help us achieve maximum thrust.,Fry],Also this picture to remember me by.
Fry],Also this picture to remember me by.,Leela],I'll be back soon.
Leela],I'll be back soon.,Farnsworth,Activate stealth shielding.
Farnsworth,Activate stealth shielding.,Leela,Liftoff!
Leela,Liftoff!,Zapp,I'll rodger that.
Zapp,I'll rodger that.,Fry,Did anyone else feel aroused and jealous and worried?
Fry,Did anyone else feel aroused and jealous and worried?,Bender,I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.
Bender,I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.,Leela],Activating the Force.
Leela],Activating the Force.,The,Force] miles.
The,Force] miles.,Zapp,Zapp to Leela: look at all that surveillance equipment.
Zapp,Zapp to Leela: look at all that surveillance equipment.,Leela],We better whisper.
Leela],We better whisper.,Zapp,Switching to pillow talk mode.
Zapp,Switching to pillow talk mode.,Leela,Look.  What are those huge letters?
Leela,Look.  What are those huge letters?,Zapp,V-GINY? Doesn't ring a bell.
Zapp,V-GINY? Doesn't ring a bell.,Farnsworth,(v.o.): Hmmm....
Farnsworth,(v.o.): Hmmm....,Farnsworth,I don't like the looks of this V-GINY.  Does anyone recognize those call letters?
Farnsworth,I don't like the looks of this V-GINY.  Does anyone recognize those call letters?,Hermes,Nope.  It's not in the Janeway's Guide either.
Hermes,Nope.  It's not in the Janeway's Guide either.,Farnsworth,Deciphering that ID code is critical.  I'll be in the Chamber of Understanding.
Farnsworth,Deciphering that ID code is critical.  I'll be in the Chamber of Understanding.,Leela,This is it! The moment we should've trained for!
Leela,This is it! The moment we should've trained for!,Leela,Holy cr—
Leela,Holy cr—,Zapp,Incoming yucky!
Zapp,Incoming yucky!,Leela,Firing pocket rocket!
Leela,Firing pocket rocket!,Zapp,"Don't panic, Leela! Go go go go go!"
Zapp,"Don't panic, Leela! Go go go go go!",Leela,I hope this is the control stick!
Leela,I hope this is the control stick!,Zapp,Captain's Log: We've lost control.  Addendum: Whoooaa-oooooaa-ooaaaah!!!
Zapp,Captain's Log: We've lost control.  Addendum: Whoooaa-oooooaa-ooaaaah!!!,Transition,Announcer!
Transition,Announcer!,Zapp,Chapter Two: The Heat Thickens.
Zapp,Chapter Two: The Heat Thickens.,Zapp,"Leela, wake up! I can't face this mysterious planet alone without you or someone like you."
Zapp,"Leela, wake up! I can't face this mysterious planet alone without you or someone like you.",Leela,"Zapp?  Zapp, wake up!"
Leela,"Zapp?  Zapp, wake up!",Zapp,Leela? Where are we.
Zapp,Leela? Where are we.,Leela,"We crashed on an uncharted planet.  When I woke up, I was pinned under this tree. Can you help me?"
Leela,"We crashed on an uncharted planet.  When I woke up, I was pinned under this tree. Can you help me?",Zapp],No one can move it. Are you hurt?
Zapp],No one can move it. Are you hurt?,Leela,No. But I'm so thirsty.  This spacesuit is making me sweat like a sow.
Leela,No. But I'm so thirsty.  This spacesuit is making me sweat like a sow.,Leela,"Uh, I suppose so."
Leela,"Uh, I suppose so.",Zapp,Here.  We can cover ourselves with these sticky sap-covered leaves.  I'll try to avert my eyes from your nudery.
Zapp,Here.  We can cover ourselves with these sticky sap-covered leaves.  I'll try to avert my eyes from your nudery.,Leela],"Eh, what's the point? You'll have to look sooner or later."
Leela],"Eh, what's the point? You'll have to look sooner or later.",Zapp,"Well, I promise not to abuse the privilege. For now, I better scout around for food and water and help."
Zapp,"Well, I promise not to abuse the privilege. For now, I better scout around for food and water and help.",Leela,What a thoughtful and considerate thing to say.  What the hell's wrong with you?
Leela,What a thoughtful and considerate thing to say.  What the hell's wrong with you?,Zapp,"I'm not quite sure. Perhaps it's the fresh air or a severe head injury.  In any case, I'm off."
Zapp,"I'm not quite sure. Perhaps it's the fresh air or a severe head injury.  In any case, I'm off.",Leela],"If you see any steaks, that'd be good!"
Leela],"If you see any steaks, that'd be good!",Fry],Do you think she's okay?
Fry],Do you think she's okay?,Bender,okay?  I'm feelin' a little neglected here!
Bender,okay?  I'm feelin' a little neglected here!,Fry,"Oh, sorry. Are you okay, Bender?"
Fry,"Oh, sorry. Are you okay, Bender?",Bender,Shut up!
Bender,Shut up!,Hermes,"What difference does it make?  When that death sphere gets to Earth, we'll all be blown to Manwich meat!"
Hermes,"What difference does it make?  When that death sphere gets to Earth, we'll all be blown to Manwich meat!",Amy,"Well, I guess it's time to indulge in some end-of-the-world debauchery.  Who's up for an orgy?"
Amy,"Well, I guess it's time to indulge in some end-of-the-world debauchery.  Who's up for an orgy?",Zoidberg,Maybe a Parcheesi tournament.
Zoidberg,Maybe a Parcheesi tournament.,Farnsworth,Belay that Parcheesi tournament! I've identified the death sphere! We may yet have a faint hope of survival!
Farnsworth,Belay that Parcheesi tournament! I've identified the death sphere! We may yet have a faint hope of survival!,Zoidberg,"Still, a Parcheesi tournament."
Zoidberg,"Still, a Parcheesi tournament.",Farnsworth,This is a top secret military satellite launched by the Air Force in 1998.
Farnsworth,This is a top secret military satellite launched by the Air Force in 1998.,Farnsworth,(cont'd): And this is a top secret FCC satellite launched that same year to censor indecent TV programs.
Farnsworth,(cont'd): And this is a top secret FCC satellite launched that same year to censor indecent TV programs.,Farnsworth,"Precisely.  However, the satellites collided shortly after launch and were never heard from again."
Farnsworth,"Precisely.  However, the satellites collided shortly after launch and were never heard from again.",Zoidberg,I found the board!
Zoidberg,I found the board!,Farnsworth,"Now, I've simulated that collision using Shrapnovision(?)."
Farnsworth,"Now, I've simulated that collision using Shrapnovision(?).",Fry],"Granted, all that makes perfect sense, but why is this death sphere destroying planets?"
Fry],"Granted, all that makes perfect sense, but why is this death sphere destroying planets?",Farnsworth,And finally that world that can't be mentioned in polite company.
Farnsworth,And finally that world that can't be mentioned in polite company.,Fry,You mean...
Fry,You mean...,Amy,Aw!
Amy,Aw!,Farnsworth,How dare you!?
Farnsworth,How dare you!?,Amy,Shame on—
Amy,Shame on—,Hermes,So the death sphere is censoring indecent planets?
Hermes,So the death sphere is censoring indecent planets?,Farnsworth,Indeed.  And we're next if we can't keep it in our collective pants!  Our sole hope is to persuade the people of Earth to abandon their smutty ways.
Farnsworth,Indeed.  And we're next if we can't keep it in our collective pants!  Our sole hope is to persuade the people of Earth to abandon their smutty ways.,Amy,So the orgy's off?
Amy,So the orgy's off?,Leela,So thirsty.  Why couldn't a water fountain have fallen on me?
Leela,So thirsty.  Why couldn't a water fountain have fallen on me?,Zapp,I couldn't find any water.  But the moisture in these fruit and nut berries should sustain you.
Zapp,I couldn't find any water.  But the moisture in these fruit and nut berries should sustain you.,Zapp,"I climbed perilously high into the trees to pick them, yet I saw no sign of intelligent life."
Zapp,"I climbed perilously high into the trees to pick them, yet I saw no sign of intelligent life.",Leela,Bummer.
Leela,Bummer.,Zapp,"Moreover, the crash totally destroyed our ship."
Zapp,"Moreover, the crash totally destroyed our ship.",Leela,So we're stuck here until someone finds us?
Leela,So we're stuck here until someone finds us?,Zapp,"Alas, that may never happen.  Stealth technology makes the ship impossible to locate yet easy to stub your crotch on."
Zapp,"Alas, that may never happen.  Stealth technology makes the ship impossible to locate yet easy to stub your crotch on.",Leela,"Well, there's worse places to be marooned.  Plenty of food, mild climate."
Leela,"Well, there's worse places to be marooned.  Plenty of food, mild climate.",Zapp,It's a veritable Garden of Eden.
Zapp,It's a veritable Garden of Eden.,Leela,It is?
Leela,It is?,Snake,Hello.
Snake,Hello.,Leela,"Did that snake say, Hello?"
Leela,"Did that snake say, Hello?",Zapp,"No, we're both delirious from dehydration."
Zapp,"No, we're both delirious from dehydration.",Snake,Just like Adam and Eve.
Snake,Just like Adam and Eve.,Farnsworth,(v.o.): We can still save Earth.  People are sure to clean up their act when presented with cold hard facts by rational folks like us.
Farnsworth,(v.o.): We can still save Earth.  People are sure to clean up their act when presented with cold hard facts by rational folks like us.,Farnsworth,The end is near! Repent thy sins!
Farnsworth,The end is near! Repent thy sins!,Sal,I'll thinks it overs while I engages this five dollar hooker.
Sal,I'll thinks it overs while I engages this five dollar hooker.,Fry,Don't do it! It's not worth it!
Fry,Don't do it! It's not worth it!,Petunia,"Okay, make it three dollars."
Petunia,"Okay, make it three dollars.",Sal,Yuck! I don't wants no three-dollar hooker.  I'm goin' backs to the adults bookstore.
Sal,Yuck! I don't wants no three-dollar hooker.  I'm goin' backs to the adults bookstore.,Fry,Adult bookstore?  I thought this was the public library.
Fry,Adult bookstore?  I thought this was the public library.,Bender,library.
Bender,library.,Leela,"Oh, God, I'm actually starting to miss him."
Leela,"Oh, God, I'm actually starting to miss him.",Snake,Maybe you two belong together.
Snake,Maybe you two belong together.,Leela,We do not.  And you can't talk.
Leela,We do not.  And you can't talk.,Zapp],"I thought I'd whip us up some shelter, make this a little more like home."
Zapp],"I thought I'd whip us up some shelter, make this a little more like home.",Leela,miss the Earth terribly.  I wonder if it's even still there.
Leela,miss the Earth terribly.  I wonder if it's even still there.,Leela,That's so sweet.
Leela,That's so sweet.,Snake,I'm just sayin' is all.
Snake,I'm just sayin' is all.,Farnsworth,"I know my new plan is a long shot, but it's the only hope left."
Farnsworth,"I know my new plan is a long shot, but it's the only hope left.",Hermes,"on my eyePod.  So, do you have a new plan, Professor, and is there any hope left?"
Hermes,"on my eyePod.  So, do you have a new plan, Professor, and is there any hope left?",Farnsworth,purity in the world.  Begin transmitting.
Farnsworth,purity in the world.  Begin transmitting.,Farnsworth,Commence purity chant.
Farnsworth,Commence purity chant.,Fry,Bender?
Fry,Bender?,Bender,(v.o.)
Bender,(v.o.),Farnsworth,"Bender, stop!! STOP!!"
Farnsworth,"Bender, stop!! STOP!!",Bender,"Aw, quiet, you riot.  What's the worst that could happen?"
Bender,"Aw, quiet, you riot.  What's the worst that could happen?",Leela,(v.o.): No!
Leela,(v.o.): No!,Leela,Maybe this was meant to be. Maybe you and I were meant to build a new world here.
Leela,Maybe this was meant to be. Maybe you and I were meant to build a new world here.,Zapp,We can avoid humanity's mistakes.
Zapp,We can avoid humanity's mistakes.,Leela,Like the tuba.
Leela,Like the tuba.,Zapp,Yes.  We'll be like Adam and Eve.
Zapp,Yes.  We'll be like Adam and Eve.,Leela,Only without the tuba.
Leela,Only without the tuba.,Zapp,And we'll beget little Zapp Jr. and Leela Jr. and they'll have kids of their ow—Yecch!  Is that really what happened in the Bible?!
Zapp,And we'll beget little Zapp Jr. and Leela Jr. and they'll have kids of their ow—Yecch!  Is that really what happened in the Bible?!,Leela,It's a sick and twisted book of holiness all right.
Leela,It's a sick and twisted book of holiness all right.,Zapp,"Then we'll write our own Bible, with less Sodom and more Gomorra."
Zapp,"Then we'll write our own Bible, with less Sodom and more Gomorra.",Leela,"Come here, Adam, partake of my forbidden fruit."
Leela,"Come here, Adam, partake of my forbidden fruit.",Zapp,Thee will be done.
Zapp,Thee will be done.,Zapp,Uh...woh...ih...Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiih—I have a terrible confession to make!
Zapp,Uh...woh...ih...Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiih—I have a terrible confession to make!,Zapp,"(v.o.): You see, when I first went foraging, what I actually found was the smoldering wreckage of the ship.  Ignoring all danger, I charged inside to liberate our provisions."
Zapp,"(v.o.): You see, when I first went foraging, what I actually found was the smoldering wreckage of the ship.  Ignoring all danger, I charged inside to liberate our provisions.",Leela,the trail mix Fry gave me!
Leela,the trail mix Fry gave me!,Zapp,a little better of me.
Zapp,a little better of me.,Leela,"Hey, wait!  You've been doing an awful lot of urinating!"
Leela,"Hey, wait!  You've been doing an awful lot of urinating!",Zapp,"(v.o.): ...after I selflessly rescued the trail mix, I braved the flames once more in search of fluids."
Zapp,"(v.o.): ...after I selflessly rescued the trail mix, I braved the flames once more in search of fluids.",Leela,any?
Leela,any?,Zapp,I though it might help you forget your intense hatred for me if you were a teensy bit delirious.
Zapp,I though it might help you forget your intense hatred for me if you were a teensy bit delirious.,Leela,So you let me dehydrate while you washed down the trail mix with imported mineral water?
Leela,So you let me dehydrate while you washed down the trail mix with imported mineral water?,Zapp,"(v.o.): You see, besides the trail mix, the minibar also contained Doritos, beef jerky and a generous assortment of fine chocolates."
Zapp,"(v.o.): You see, besides the trail mix, the minibar also contained Doritos, beef jerky and a generous assortment of fine chocolates.",Zapp,"I wanted to offer you the chocolates, I truly did.  But I was concerned about your waistline.  Very concerned."
Zapp,"I wanted to offer you the chocolates, I truly did.  But I was concerned about your waistline.  Very concerned.",Leela,"Oh, dear God!"
Leela,"Oh, dear God!",Zapp,"Gluuuuuuuuyiiiiiiiiiiiih, it was just after we crashed!"
Zapp,"Gluuuuuuuuyiiiiiiiiiiiih, it was just after we crashed!",Zapp,(v.o.): I awoke first to find you trapped.
Zapp,(v.o.): I awoke first to find you trapped.,Zapp,Leela.  Leela! Wake up!
Zapp,Leela.  Leela! Wake up!,Leela,You could've moved this grub-infested log anytime you wanted?!
Leela,You could've moved this grub-infested log anytime you wanted?!,Zapp,"Well, sure.  But then I wouldn't have been able to provide the loving care you wouldn't have needed."
Zapp,"Well, sure.  But then I wouldn't have been able to provide the loving care you wouldn't have needed.",Leela,"The ship's fully functional, isn't it?"
Leela,"The ship's fully functional, isn't it?",Zapp,"Ee-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiih, you see..."
Zapp,"Ee-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiih, you see...",Zapp,"(v.o.): ...after re-trapping you and before feigning unconsciousness, I paused to enjoy a cigar.  Though mellow and satisfying, it did parch me a bit.  So I went in search of brandy.  That's when my keen senses detected the still invisible ship."
Zapp,"(v.o.): ...after re-trapping you and before feigning unconsciousness, I paused to enjoy a cigar.  Though mellow and satisfying, it did parch me a bit.  So I went in search of brandy.  That's when my keen senses detected the still invisible ship.",Zapp,Ow!
Zapp,Ow!,Leela,Well?
Leela,Well?,Zapp,"Oooheeeeeeaaaaiiiiiiih, we're actually on Earth!  The ship's homing device brought us back!"
Zapp,"Oooheeeeeeaaaaiiiiiiih, we're actually on Earth!  The ship's homing device brought us back!",Leela,But I saw Earth explode!
Leela,But I saw Earth explode!,Zapp,I'm actually kinda proud of this one.  You see...
Zapp,I'm actually kinda proud of this one.  You see...,Zapp,(v.o.): What you saw was merely a simulation I rigged up using the ship's holographic targeting projector.  The alleged telescope was a toilet paper tube.
Zapp,(v.o.): What you saw was merely a simulation I rigged up using the ship's holographic targeting projector.  The alleged telescope was a toilet paper tube.,Leela,any toilet paper!  And that humanity was annihilated!
Leela,any toilet paper!  And that humanity was annihilated!,Zapp,My motives were pure!  I just wanted you think we had to save humanity so you'd be willing to have sex.  Please say you believe me.
Zapp,My motives were pure!  I just wanted you think we had to save humanity so you'd be willing to have sex.  Please say you believe me.,Leela,Yes.  I believe you.
Leela,Yes.  I believe you.,Fry,Yay!
Fry,Yay!,Leela],Yet.
Leela],Yet.,V-GINY,"People of Earth, hear the righteous word of the Mighty V-GINY!"
V-GINY,"People of Earth, hear the righteous word of the Mighty V-GINY!",Bender,The Mighty V-GINY!
Bender,The Mighty V-GINY!,V-GINY,Seeing you frolic in this unspoiled garden gives hope that this world may yet be redeemed.
V-GINY,Seeing you frolic in this unspoiled garden gives hope that this world may yet be redeemed.,Farnsworth,Huzzah!  The purity chant worked!
Farnsworth,Huzzah!  The purity chant worked!,V-GINY,Unacceptable wardrobe malfunction!  I was referring to Adam and Eve.
V-GINY,Unacceptable wardrobe malfunction!  I was referring to Adam and Eve.,Leela,"Adam and Eve.  You see, due to a series of—"
Leela,"Adam and Eve.  You see, due to a series of—",V-GINY,Consummate your union or I shall destroy Earth!
V-GINY,Consummate your union or I shall destroy Earth!,Leela,"Well, if it's to save Earth, I-I guess I could take one for the team."
Leela,"Well, if it's to save Earth, I-I guess I could take one for the team.",Zapp,"You what?  R-Right now?  Eh, but I need a little romance, first.  Maybe a vanilla candle or something."
Zapp,"You what?  R-Right now?  Eh, but I need a little romance, first.  Maybe a vanilla candle or something.",V-GINY,Commence intercourse.
V-GINY,Commence intercourse.,Zapp,The giant guns are making me feel sort of...inadequate.  I'm not sure if I could—
Zapp,The giant guns are making me feel sort of...inadequate.  I'm not sure if I could—,Leela],Move it!  I gotta get home and do laundry!
Leela],Move it!  I gotta get home and do laundry!,Fry,"For God's sake, censor it!!! CENSOR IT!!!"
Fry,"For God's sake, censor it!!! CENSOR IT!!!",V-GINY,Approved for all audiences!!
V-GINY,Approved for all audiences!!,Fry,NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Fry,NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!,Transition,Announcer!
Transition,Announcer!,Zapp,That was a close call but we saved Earth.  Was it as good for you as it was for the human race?
Zapp,That was a close call but we saved Earth.  Was it as good for you as it was for the human race?,Leela,"Actress: Oh, Zapp, let's save another planet right now!"
Leela,"Actress: Oh, Zapp, let's save another planet right now!",Poopenmeyer,"As mayor, it is my deeply tedious pleasure to kick off the 83rd or 84th Annual e-Waste Recycling Festival!"
Poopenmeyer,"As mayor, it is my deeply tedious pleasure to kick off the 83rd or 84th Annual e-Waste Recycling Festival!",Bender,Down in front!
Bender,Down in front!,Zoidberg,"Sorry, I get aroused in crowds."
Zoidberg,"Sorry, I get aroused in crowds.",Farnsworth,These old doomsday devices are dangerously unstable.  I'll rest easier not knowing where they are.
Farnsworth,These old doomsday devices are dangerously unstable.  I'll rest easier not knowing where they are.,Leela,"So long, overly complicated Japanese toilet!"
Leela,"So long, overly complicated Japanese toilet!",Toilet,"Please.  I not to throw away.  I give you, uh, Happy Poopie Time."
Toilet,"Please.  I not to throw away.  I give you, uh, Happy Poopie Time.",Fry,"Sorry, you know too much."
Fry,"Sorry, you know too much.",Bender],Flexo?!  What are you doin' in a hazardous wastebin?
Bender],Flexo?!  What are you doin' in a hazardous wastebin?,Flexo,"Haven't you heard?  Us bending units are dangerously outdated.  We overheat, we're radioactive, we cause erectile dysfun—"
Flexo,"Haven't you heard?  Us bending units are dangerously outdated.  We overheat, we're radioactive, we cause erectile dysfun—",Farnsworth,Who were you talking to?
Farnsworth,Who were you talking to?,Bender],No one? Your mama? Shut up? Take your pick.
Bender],No one? Your mama? Shut up? Take your pick.,Scoop,"Chang: Scoop Chang, New New York Times Online Podcast blog comments editor.  Mr. Mayor, isn't this e-waste dangerous?"
Scoop,"Chang: Scoop Chang, New New York Times Online Podcast blog comments editor.  Mr. Mayor, isn't this e-waste dangerous?",Poopenmeyer,"Not at all, Scoop. Not after it's hauled off to the Third World by an expendable team of minimum-wage nobodies."
Poopenmeyer,"Not at all, Scoop. Not after it's hauled off to the Third World by an expendable team of minimum-wage nobodies.",Farnsworth],"Good news, nobodies!"
Farnsworth],"Good news, nobodies!",Antarian,#1]
Antarian,#1],Leela,There's nothing wrong with our clunker.
Leela,There's nothing wrong with our clunker.,Antarian,"#1: Really? Because we can smelt out the deadly, deadly chromium to make rat poison and artificial sweeteners."
Antarian,"#1: Really? Because we can smelt out the deadly, deadly chromium to make rat poison and artificial sweeteners.",Leela,"No, thanks. We're delivering e-waste."
Leela,"No, thanks. We're delivering e-waste.",Antarian,#1: Pity. We're halfway done.
Antarian,#1: Pity. We're halfway done.,Antarian,#2: This thing is 40% chromium.
Antarian,#2: This thing is 40% chromium.,Antarian,#1: Gentle now.  Gentle with the hover dumpster.
Antarian,#1: Gentle now.  Gentle with the hover dumpster.,Antarian,#1]
Antarian,#1],Fry,What smells like bloody sinuses?
Fry,What smells like bloody sinuses?,Antarian,"#1: We burn your e-waste down to the usable metals, safely releasing the toxins into our air and drinking water."
Antarian,"#1: We burn your e-waste down to the usable metals, safely releasing the toxins into our air and drinking water.",Leela,Uch!  That's the worst thing I've ever seen!
Leela,Uch!  That's the worst thing I've ever seen!,Antarian,"#1] Okay, kids, let's play Find the Shiny!"
Antarian,"#1] Okay, kids, let's play Find the Shiny!",Leela,horrific! Is all the work done by children?
Leela,horrific! Is all the work done by children?,Antarian,#1
Antarian,#1,Leela,outdated.
Leela,outdated.,Phone,"Hello, Miss Turanga, your call to St. Louis has gone through."
Phone,"Hello, Miss Turanga, your call to St. Louis has gone through.",Bender,The batteries in the remote are gettin' low.
Bender,The batteries in the remote are gettin' low.,Leela,No! Put that back and turn it on!
Leela,No! Put that back and turn it on!,Morbo,More on this breaking puff piece after a word from our sponsor.
Morbo,More on this breaking puff piece after a word from our sponsor.,Announcer,"WIth the new eyePhone, you can watch, listen, ignore your friends, stalk your ex, download porno on a crowded bus, even check your E-mail while getting hit by a train.  All with the new eyePhone."
Announcer,"WIth the new eyePhone, you can watch, listen, ignore your friends, stalk your ex, download porno on a crowded bus, even check your E-mail while getting hit by a train.  All with the new eyePhone.",Mom,From Mom.
Mom,From Mom.,Phone,is a fine howdoyoudo.
Phone,is a fine howdoyoudo.,Hermes,So long.
Hermes,So long.,Fry,Sayonara.
Fry,Sayonara.,Amy,Buh-bye.
Amy,Buh-bye.,Zoidberg,Good riddance.
Zoidberg,Good riddance.,Bender,Yep.
Bender,Yep.,Farnsworth,Toodle-oo!
Farnsworth,Toodle-oo!,Leela,Come on!  Let's buy some eyePhones on line!
Leela,Come on!  Let's buy some eyePhones on line!,Fry,Wait.  I thought we were buying our eyePhones online.
Fry,Wait.  I thought we were buying our eyePhones online.,Leela,on line.
Leela,on line.,Fry,But I thought the Mom Store was across town.
Fry,But I thought the Mom Store was across town.,Fry,But I thought—
Fry,But I thought—,Bender,"Stop thinking, Fry!"
Bender,"Stop thinking, Fry!",Fry,I feel like a mindless zombie.  I wish I knew how long we've been waiting.
Fry,I feel like a mindless zombie.  I wish I knew how long we've been waiting.,Beeler,The eyePhone has an app for that!
Beeler,The eyePhone has an app for that!,Bender,Is there an app for kissin' my shiny metal ass?
Bender,Is there an app for kissin' my shiny metal ass?,Beeler,Several!
Beeler,Several!,Bender,Ooooooh!
Bender,Ooooooh!,Farnsworth,"Oh, no!  The light!  I guess I'm off to Hell."
Farnsworth,"Oh, no!  The light!  I guess I'm off to Hell.",Hermes,"That's the store, Professor."
Hermes,"That's the store, Professor.",Farnsworth,Eh-wha?
Farnsworth,Eh-wha?,Amy,Shwow! It's that obscure underground song that's constantly playing everywhere.
Amy,Shwow! It's that obscure underground song that's constantly playing everywhere.,Mom,"Hello, dearies.  Welcome to the Mom Store.  The new eyePhones are in short supply, so please form an orderly—"
Mom,"Hello, dearies.  Welcome to the Mom Store.  The new eyePhones are in short supply, so please form an orderly—",Bender,Outta the way!
Bender,Outta the way!,Fry,Are there any left?
Fry,Are there any left?,Salesman,"Okay, it's $500, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can't hold a charge and the reception isn't very—"
Salesman,"Okay, it's $500, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can't hold a charge and the reception isn't very—",Fry,Shut up and take my money!!
Fry,Shut up and take my money!!,Mom,The new eyePhone is wonderful. I use it to check recipes and send threatening e-mails to unauthorized third party app developers.
Mom,The new eyePhone is wonderful. I use it to check recipes and send threatening e-mails to unauthorized third party app developers.,Fry,"Say, you're from one of those ethnicities that knows about technology.  Why's it called an eyePhone?"
Fry,"Say, you're from one of those ethnicities that knows about technology.  Why's it called an eyePhone?",Salesman,I'll explain after I install it.
Salesman,I'll explain after I install it.,Fry,Neat.
Fry,Neat.,Mom,here's a twit now.
Mom,here's a twit now.,Larry,"Hi, Mom, I love you more than Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar—"
Larry,"Hi, Mom, I love you more than Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar—",eyePhone,Low battery.
eyePhone,Low battery.,Mom,"Unbiasedreviews.mom says, Twitcher is the Killer App!"
Mom,"Unbiasedreviews.mom says, Twitcher is the Killer App!",Mom,"And when I say, killer app, I mean, KILLER app!"
Mom,"And when I say, killer app, I mean, KILLER app!",Announcer,"And now, another downloadisode of The Real Housewives of Sim City!"
Announcer,"And now, another downloadisode of The Real Housewives of Sim City!",Sims,Woman: She needs to reset.  I'll say it to her face.
Sims,Woman: She needs to reset.  I'll say it to her face.,Bender,"Nowadays, cool kids like me mash up our own phoneisodes."
Bender,"Nowadays, cool kids like me mash up our own phoneisodes.",Calculon,It's from the kidnappers.  My nephew is alive and he's...in this envelope.
Calculon,It's from the kidnappers.  My nephew is alive and he's...in this envelope.,Calculon's,Nephew They cut off one of my dimensions!
Calculon's,Nephew They cut off one of my dimensions!,Calculon,No.  No!
Calculon,No.  No!,Bender,"Oh, my God! It's Bender! He'll save us!"
Bender,"Oh, my God! It's Bender! He'll save us!",Fry,What's happening to me?  Is it puberty?
Fry,What's happening to me?  Is it puberty?,Bender,"It's a phone call, dingus."
Bender,"It's a phone call, dingus.",Fry,"These eyePhones are phones, too?"
Fry,"These eyePhones are phones, too?",Bender,Duh!
Bender,Duh!,Fry,Fry-lo.
Fry,Fry-lo.,Leela,"Hi, Fry.  Did you know these eyePhones are phones, too?"
Leela,"Hi, Fry.  Did you know these eyePhones are phones, too?",Fry,"Duh.  Hey, is it safe to talk while you're flying?"
Fry,"Duh.  Hey, is it safe to talk while you're flying?",Leela],and this spaghetti.
Leela],and this spaghetti.,Bender,"Hey, check out this Internet video of some idiot crashing her spaceship!"
Bender,"Hey, check out this Internet video of some idiot crashing her spaceship!",Leela,You recorded that?
Leela,You recorded that?,Bender,"did was add a laugh track and twit it to my 10,000 followers."
Bender,"did was add a laugh track and twit it to my 10,000 followers.",Fry,Scratchin' my underarm fungus.  Lookin' for love.  Send.
Fry,Scratchin' my underarm fungus.  Lookin' for love.  Send.,Larry,OW!
Larry,OW!,Mom,"It's exactly the right amount of information!  For years, I've collected personal data with old-fashioned methods like spybots and infosquitoes."
Mom,"It's exactly the right amount of information!  For years, I've collected personal data with old-fashioned methods like spybots and infosquitoes.",Infosquito,This guy sure loves porno.
Infosquito,This guy sure loves porno.,Mom,"But now, thanks to Twitcher, morons voluntarily spew out every fact I need to exploit them."
Mom,"But now, thanks to Twitcher, morons voluntarily spew out every fact I need to exploit them.",Walt,"Target acquired, Mother."
Walt,"Target acquired, Mother.",Mom,Fire direct marketing algorithm!
Mom,Fire direct marketing algorithm!,Man,Do you suffer from the heartbreak of...?
Man,Do you suffer from the heartbreak of...?,Fry's,Voice: —my underarm fungus.
Fry's,Voice: —my underarm fungus.,"Man,",need the soothing relief of Mom's Caustic Anti-Fungal Bleach!
"Man,",need the soothing relief of Mom's Caustic Anti-Fungal Bleach!,Fry,"Ooh, can I somehow charge it to my eyePhone for an additional fee?"
Fry,"Ooh, can I somehow charge it to my eyePhone for an additional fee?",Mom,"(v.o.): Hell, yes!"
Mom,"(v.o.): Hell, yes!",Ad,"Hey, fatso, stuffa you face!"
Ad,"Hey, fatso, stuffa you face!",Hermes,Attention followers: It's Free Topping Day at the pizza place across the street! Send.
Hermes,Attention followers: It's Free Topping Day at the pizza place across the street! Send.,Leela,Duh. That's why we all came over here for lunch. Send.
Leela,Duh. That's why we all came over here for lunch. Send.,Bender,"Can you believe 50,000 idiots swallow that crap? Send. Oops."
Bender,"Can you believe 50,000 idiots swallow that crap? Send. Oops.",Fry,"You have 50,000 followers? I only have three. Send."
Fry,"You have 50,000 followers? I only have three. Send.",Leela,I unsubscribed yesterday.
Leela,I unsubscribed yesterday.,Bender,"I got the most followers cuz I give the people what they want, like this video of you doin' karate in your underpants."
Bender,"I got the most followers cuz I give the people what they want, like this video of you doin' karate in your underpants.",Fry,Help!  Police!
Fry,Help!  Police!,Bender,Send.
Bender,Send.,Fry,standards.
Fry,standards.,Bender,"My what, now?"
Bender,"My what, now?",Fry,Since when is the internet about robbing people of their privacy?
Fry,Since when is the internet about robbing people of their privacy?,Bender,"August 6, 1991."
Bender,"August 6, 1991.",Fry,I'll bet I can get as many followers as you without sinking to your level.  What do you say?  First one to a million followers wins a buck.
Fry,I'll bet I can get as many followers as you without sinking to your level.  What do you say?  First one to a million followers wins a buck.,Bender,Send.
Bender,Send.,Fry,What happens to the loser?
Fry,What happens to the loser?,Bender,Let's make it interesting.
Bender,Let's make it interesting.,Amy,Splech!  Why is Mr. Chunks doing that?
Amy,Splech!  Why is Mr. Chunks doing that?,Fry,diarrhea!
Fry,diarrhea!,Bender,"Good idea!  That way, we don't waste an end!"
Bender,"Good idea!  That way, we don't waste an end!",Leela,"Eg, it's putrid! What do you feed him?"
Leela,"Eg, it's putrid! What do you feed him?",Mom,"Are you dumb bastards listening to me, you dumb bastards?"
Mom,"Are you dumb bastards listening to me, you dumb bastards?",Igner,"Why are you so angry, Mommy?"
Igner,"Why are you so angry, Mommy?",Mom,"You see, the plan is about to enter phase two.  As soon as someone reaches a million followers, I'll use them to transmit...the Twitworm!"
Mom,"You see, the plan is about to enter phase two.  As soon as someone reaches a million followers, I'll use them to transmit...the Twitworm!",Walt,"Oh, Mother, you devious hag, tell us more about this Twitworm."
Walt,"Oh, Mother, you devious hag, tell us more about this Twitworm.",Mom,"It's a very special computer virus, for instead of infecting computers, it infects...the human brain!"
Mom,"It's a very special computer virus, for instead of infecting computers, it infects...the human brain!",Infosquito,I like it!
Infosquito,I like it!,Larry,The important thing is we're a family.
Larry,The important thing is we're a family.,Mom,NO IT'S NOT!
Mom,NO IT'S NOT!,Amy,Ew!  He sneezed in it!
Amy,Ew!  He sneezed in it!,Fry,"Oh, God, I'm gonna lose the bet!  I'm gonna have to swim in the juice of the puke-me-poop-yu!"
Fry,"Oh, God, I'm gonna lose the bet!  I'm gonna have to swim in the juice of the puke-me-poop-yu!",Amy,Don't give up.  You just need more titillating twits.
Amy,Don't give up.  You just need more titillating twits.,Fry,"Trust me, I want twits that tittle."
Fry,"Trust me, I want twits that tittle.",Leela,Then you're gonna have to sink to Bender's level. Stop acting like the Queen of England.
Leela,Then you're gonna have to sink to Bender's level. Stop acting like the Queen of England.,Female,Voice La la la la la la la!
Female,Voice La la la la la la la!,Fry,Whose that?  The Queen of England?
Fry,Whose that?  The Queen of England?,Fry,That was odd.  Where'd that singing come from?
Fry,That was odd.  Where'd that singing come from?,Amy,It wasn't the goat.  All of its orifices are in use.
Amy,It wasn't the goat.  All of its orifices are in use.,Female,Voice I dreamed a dream in time gone by...
Female,Voice I dreamed a dream in time gone by...,Leela,and Female Voice
Leela,and Female Voice,I,dreamed that love would never die.
I,dreamed that love would never die.,Susan,I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
Susan,I dreamed that God would be forgiving.,Fry,What the hell is that?
Fry,What the hell is that?,Leela,Nothing.
Leela,Nothing.,Susan,"I'm not nothing!  All my life, everyone's called me, nothing!"
Susan,"I'm not nothing!  All my life, everyone's called me, nothing!",Fry,You have a boil on your butt that sings showtunes with you?
Fry,You have a boil on your butt that sings showtunes with you?,Leela,Don't look at me!  I'm a freak!
Leela,Don't look at me!  I'm a freak!,Fry,Well...
Fry,Well...,Leela,I've been ashamed of Susan as long as I can remember.
Leela,I've been ashamed of Susan as long as I can remember.,Fry,You named your boil Susan?
Fry,You named your boil Susan?,Fry,"Ew, she's Scottish!"
Fry,"Ew, she's Scottish!",Leela,"It's hard enough being a cyclops, but if anyone found out about Susan, I'd be devastated."
Leela,"It's hard enough being a cyclops, but if anyone found out about Susan, I'd be devastated.",Fry,Million follower gross.
Fry,Million follower gross.,Leela,"Fry, delete that! Delete that right now!"
Leela,"Fry, delete that! Delete that right now!",Fry,What?  Oh.  Okay.
Fry,What?  Oh.  Okay.,Bender,So much for a pleasant swim in vomit.
Bender,So much for a pleasant swim in vomit.,Leela,Did you delete it?
Leela,Did you delete it?,Fry,Eh.
Fry,Eh.,Leela,You're a good friend.
Leela,You're a good friend.,Fry,Ih.
Fry,Ih.,Hoschel,HOOOOOOOOOO!
Hoschel,HOOOOOOOOOO!,Sal,Whoa-whoa-whoas!  If it ain'ts the world's number ones internet sensation!
Sal,Whoa-whoa-whoas!  If it ain'ts the world's number ones internet sensation!,Leela,"Where?  Also, what?"
Leela,"Where?  Also, what?",Susan,(v.o.) Ama-
Susan,(v.o.) Ama-,Susan,(v.o.)
Susan,(v.o.),Hermes,Play it one more time!
Hermes,Play it one more time!,Farnsworth,more times!
Farnsworth,more times!,Fry,not swimming in barf might ease my conscience.
Fry,not swimming in barf might ease my conscience.,Zoidberg,"But if Leela should find out, her dignity sac will rupture."
Zoidberg,"But if Leela should find out, her dignity sac will rupture.",Fry,"That's why we can't let her see this.  Leela, lock the doors so Leela doesn't—EEEEE!"
Fry,"That's why we can't let her see this.  Leela, lock the doors so Leela doesn't—EEEEE!",Leela,How could you do this?!!
Leela,How could you do this?!!,Amy,Poor Mr. Chunks.  At least he died doing what he loved.
Amy,Poor Mr. Chunks.  At least he died doing what he loved.,Scruffy,Mm-hmm.
Scruffy,Mm-hmm.,Farnsworth,"Impending news, everyone!  We're about to learn the winner of the bet!"
Farnsworth,"Impending news, everyone!  We're about to learn the winner of the bet!",Bender,wasn't part of the deal!
Bender,wasn't part of the deal!,Hermes,"Sweet Georgia Brown of Kingston Town! It's a tie!  Since no one lost, no one has to jump!"
Hermes,"Sweet Georgia Brown of Kingston Town! It's a tie!  Since no one lost, no one has to jump!",Fry,"Oh, I'm a scuzzball."
Fry,"Oh, I'm a scuzzball.",Zoidberg,Don't feel bad.  At least you're not Leela.
Zoidberg,Don't feel bad.  At least you're not Leela.,Mom,million zombies!
Mom,million zombies!,Walt,"Actually, Fry and Bender may share some of the same followers.  All we can say for sure is that there will be between one million and two million zombies."
Walt,"Actually, Fry and Bender may share some of the same followers.  All we can say for sure is that there will be between one million and two million zombies.",Mom,Now stop getting slapped and power up the Twitworm!
Mom,Now stop getting slapped and power up the Twitworm!,Hoschel,"It's both disgusting and inspiring, like Jared from Subway."
Hoschel,"It's both disgusting and inspiring, like Jared from Subway.",Leela,a human being more or less.
Leela,a human being more or less.,Sal,news.
Sal,news.,Hoschel,Like that giant caterpillar what ate Jared from Subway.
Hoschel,Like that giant caterpillar what ate Jared from Subway.,Sal,video sensation.
Sal,video sensation.,Leela,So my humiliation is over?
Leela,So my humiliation is over?,Sal,Who are you?
Sal,Who are you?,Mom,"And now, to create an unstoppable army of between one and two million zombies!"
Mom,"And now, to create an unstoppable army of between one and two million zombies!",Igner,"Uh, shouldn't you wait for the weather to clear up?"
Igner,"Uh, shouldn't you wait for the weather to clear up?",Mom,Send.
Mom,Send.,Fry,Leela!
Fry,Leela!,Leela,"Fry, I came to talk to you."
Leela,"Fry, I came to talk to you.",Leela,"It looked like you were just sitting there, but whatever."
Leela,"It looked like you were just sitting there, but whatever.",Fry,"I am so, so sorry for what I did.  And I know I can never make it up to you."
Fry,"I am so, so sorry for what I did.  And I know I can never make it up to you.",Leela,"You don't have to apologize.  In fact, I came to thank you."
Leela,"You don't have to apologize.  In fact, I came to thank you.",Fry,I think you mean hit me.
Fry,I think you mean hit me.,Leela,"Everyone knows my secret, but no one cares.  I have nothing to hide anymore.  Oh, Fry, thanks to your selfish rudeness, a terrible weight has been lifted from my heart!"
Leela,"Everyone knows my secret, but no one cares.  I have nothing to hide anymore.  Oh, Fry, thanks to your selfish rudeness, a terrible weight has been lifted from my heart!",Susan,(v.o.): That's not the only place you need a terrible weight lifted!
Susan,(v.o.): That's not the only place you need a terrible weight lifted!,Leela,"Susan and I are agreed.  For the first time in our lives, we're not ashamed of who we are."
Leela,"Susan and I are agreed.  For the first time in our lives, we're not ashamed of who we are.",Susan,(v.o.) ashamed.
Susan,(v.o.) ashamed.,Leela,What stinks?  Were you rolling around in New Jersey?
Leela,What stinks?  Were you rolling around in New Jersey?,Fry,"Leela, I knew I could never make it up to you, so I did the next best thing.  I put myself through the same humiliation I put you through."
Fry,"Leela, I knew I could never make it up to you, so I did the next best thing.  I put myself through the same humiliation I put you through.",Leela,"Aw, you didn't have to do that."
Leela,"Aw, you didn't have to do that.",Fry?,Damn.
Fry?,Damn.,Leela,"Don't worry.  By tomorrow, no one will remember."
Leela,"Don't worry.  By tomorrow, no one will remember.",Fry,Can I have another hug?
Fry,Can I have another hug?,Leela,No.
Leela,No.,Susan,"(v.o.): Oh, hold yer nose an' give it a go!"
Susan,"(v.o.): Oh, hold yer nose an' give it a go!",Mom,(v.o.): Introducing the all new eyePhone 2.0!
Mom,(v.o.): Introducing the all new eyePhone 2.0!,Mom,Dumb bastards.
Mom,Dumb bastards.,Linda,We now go live to our eye-in-the-sky hovercopter on the scene of that terrible hovercopter crash. Jim?
Linda,We now go live to our eye-in-the-sky hovercopter on the scene of that terrible hovercopter crash. Jim?,Linda,One for the blooper reel.
Linda,One for the blooper reel.,Kif,"instead. No, wait. There might be chopping."
Kif,"instead. No, wait. There might be chopping.",Amy,"God, what a wuss. Stop being such a spineless jellyfish."
Amy,"God, what a wuss. Stop being such a spineless jellyfish.",Amy,Not where it counts.
Amy,Not where it counts.,Morbo's,urine-soaked walls have been desicrated by a mysterious tile-work graffiti artist.
Morbo's,urine-soaked walls have been desicrated by a mysterious tile-work graffiti artist.,Linda,have no idea who is behind this innovative scourge of public art.
Linda,have no idea who is behind this innovative scourge of public art.,Bender,That is one sexy bridge abutment.
Bender,That is one sexy bridge abutment.,Bender,Oops!
Bender,Oops!,Smitty,"You know, that don't look half bad on your buttocks."
Smitty,"You know, that don't look half bad on your buttocks.",URL,It does sorta class-up the place.
URL,It does sorta class-up the place.,Clock,The time is 4 am.
Clock,The time is 4 am.,Amy,"We've been arguing all night, Kif. Can't we go to bed?"
Amy,"We've been arguing all night, Kif. Can't we go to bed?",Amy,We're just going through a rough patch.
Amy,We're just going through a rough patch.,Kif,"It is not a patch. It's been ages, according to your wildly inappropriate Hunk of the Month calender."
Kif,"It is not a patch. It's been ages, according to your wildly inappropriate Hunk of the Month calender.",Amy,out of this!
Amy,out of this!,Amy,"Oh, no!"
Amy,"Oh, no!",Amy,I don't have that kind of money laying around.
Amy,I don't have that kind of money laying around.,URL,Rodríguez! These two brothers bailed your ass out.
URL,Rodríguez! These two brothers bailed your ass out.,Bender,"Tell me, have things changed on the outside. Is food finally in pill form? What about pills? Are they in food form?"
Bender,"Tell me, have things changed on the outside. Is food finally in pill form? What about pills? Are they in food form?",Larry,"the Murder Burglar Hey, hot stuff. I'm Larry the Murder Burglar."
Larry,"the Murder Burglar Hey, hot stuff. I'm Larry the Murder Burglar.",Amy,"Hi, Larry. I like your tattoos."
Amy,"Hi, Larry. I like your tattoos.",Kif,"Amy, that man's a criminal!"
Kif,"Amy, that man's a criminal!",Amy!,I have one of my mom. Wanna see?
Amy!,I have one of my mom. Wanna see?,Larry,the Murder Burglar: Sure.
Larry,the Murder Burglar: Sure.,Kif,I just don't understand why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight.
Kif,I just don't understand why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight.,Amy,Quit exaggerating.
Amy,Quit exaggerating.,Criminal,"Nobody move, or sweet cheeks here gets it!"
Criminal,"Nobody move, or sweet cheeks here gets it!",Amy,Oh! You're bad!
Amy,Oh! You're bad!,URL,"Momma said, Spock you out!"
URL,"Momma said, Spock you out!",Bender,Let's go already!
Bender,Let's go already!,Leela,"Here's to Amy, single, lonely, and fabulous."
Leela,"Here's to Amy, single, lonely, and fabulous.",Amy,Thanks everybody. Looks like I'm back in the game.
Amy,Thanks everybody. Looks like I'm back in the game.,Security,woman
Security,woman,Fry,"Tough break, Amy. Are you and Kif getting divorced?"
Fry,"Tough break, Amy. Are you and Kif getting divorced?","Amy,",so we weren't really married.
"Amy,",so we weren't really married.,Leela,"So, Amy, how can I phrase this delicately? Why did Kif dump you like a sack of yesterday's turds?"
Leela,"So, Amy, how can I phrase this delicately? Why did Kif dump you like a sack of yesterday's turds?",Amy,He says I have a thing for bad boys. It's so stupid.
Amy,He says I have a thing for bad boys. It's so stupid.,Amy,"Bender, why do you have to be so mean to me?"
Amy,"Bender, why do you have to be so mean to me?",Bender,"Shut up, baby, you love it."
Bender,"Shut up, baby, you love it.",Amy,Don't tell me to shut up! You know what happened to the last guy that told me to shut up?
Amy,Don't tell me to shut up! You know what happened to the last guy that told me to shut up?,Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Amy,That was great.
Amy,That was great.,Bender,Come over here.
Bender,Come over here.,Amy,"We can't tell anyone, not even our co-workers."
Amy,"We can't tell anyone, not even our co-workers.",Leela,I thought circusitis only affected children.
Leela,I thought circusitis only affected children.,Hermes,Children of all ages.
Hermes,Children of all ages.,Zoidberg,"Bender, old friend. What's on your face?"
Zoidberg,"Bender, old friend. What's on your face?",Bender,"Uh. Blood. You know, from shaving of the face-beard."
Bender,"Uh. Blood. You know, from shaving of the face-beard.",Fry,"Amy, are those gear imprints on your sweatpants?"
Fry,"Amy, are those gear imprints on your sweatpants?",Amy,"Uh, maybe. So what?"
Amy,"Uh, maybe. So what?",Fry,I only brought it up because Bender is wearing them.
Fry,I only brought it up because Bender is wearing them.,Bender,"Uh, I stole them from her. Yeah, that's it, call the cops."
Bender,"Uh, I stole them from her. Yeah, that's it, call the cops.",Bender,"Amy, I reckon sweet talk don't come natural to me, but of everyone I've ever dated, you are probably in the top ten."
Bender,"Amy, I reckon sweet talk don't come natural to me, but of everyone I've ever dated, you are probably in the top ten.",Preacherbot,is an abomination!
Preacherbot,is an abomination!,Bender,"Oy, this guy."
Bender,"Oy, this guy.",Preacherbot,"The good book sayeth a robot shall not lie down with a human, nor do it standing up, nor any angle in between."
Preacherbot,"The good book sayeth a robot shall not lie down with a human, nor do it standing up, nor any angle in between.",Farnsworth,That's why I need you folks to get out there and harvest a nice ripe one. This cattle prod should help.
Farnsworth,That's why I need you folks to get out there and harvest a nice ripe one. This cattle prod should help.,Farnsworth,Get out there!
Farnsworth,Get out there!,Leela,Is everybody in position?
Leela,Is everybody in position?,Amy,What?
Amy,What?,Zoidberg,Is someone talking?
Zoidberg,Is someone talking?,Leela,"Okay, good. On three. One."
Leela,"Okay, good. On three. One.",Hermes,What did she say?
Hermes,What did she say?,Leela,Two.
Leela,Two.,Leela,Three.
Leela,Three.,Zoidberg,I'm ready for the countdown.
Zoidberg,I'm ready for the countdown.,Leela,I'm not hearing anyone! Abort mission!
Leela,I'm not hearing anyone! Abort mission!,Fry,"She said, Go!"
Fry,"She said, Go!",Leela,"Honestly, that went better than I expected."
Leela,"Honestly, that went better than I expected.",Fry,"Hey, where's Amy and Bender?"
Fry,"Hey, where's Amy and Bender?",Hermes,Sounds like a muskrat's caught in there.
Hermes,Sounds like a muskrat's caught in there.,Leela,That's Amy's sweatshirt!
Leela,That's Amy's sweatshirt!,Fry,And that's Bender's hat from the Player's ball!
Fry,And that's Bender's hat from the Player's ball!,Hermes,Sweet tornadoes of Barbados! Bender and Amy have been torn to shreds!
Hermes,Sweet tornadoes of Barbados! Bender and Amy have been torn to shreds!,Farnsworth,"Oh, the humanity! Also Bender!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, the humanity! Also Bender!",Amy,Uh-oh!
Amy,Uh-oh!,Farnsworth,What's going on here?
Farnsworth,What's going on here?,Bender,Nothing.
Bender,Nothing.,Farnsworth,A pair of deviant robosexuals. Not under my roof!
Farnsworth,A pair of deviant robosexuals. Not under my roof!,Bender,the roof?
Bender,the roof?,Farnsworth,Get your mind out of the gutter!
Farnsworth,Get your mind out of the gutter!,Bender,What about in the gutter?
Bender,What about in the gutter?,Leela,"Professor, there is nothing wrong with robosexuality."
Leela,"Professor, there is nothing wrong with robosexuality.",Hermes,"Yeah, when the lights go out, it's nobody's business what happens between two consenting adults."
Hermes,"Yeah, when the lights go out, it's nobody's business what happens between two consenting adults.",Zoidberg,Or one!
Zoidberg,Or one!,Amy,don't find out.
Amy,don't find out.,Amy,Mom? Dad?
Amy,Mom? Dad?,Leo,Atta girl!
Leo,Atta girl!,Bender,Uh-oh! not the innocent whistling!
Bender,Uh-oh! not the innocent whistling!,Preacherbot,Repent!
Preacherbot,Repent!,Inez,"Look, we're your family. And if you can't talk about your problems with us, that would be great."
Inez,"Look, we're your family. And if you can't talk about your problems with us, that would be great.",Amy,I don't have a problem! I'm in a happy relationship that just happens to be robosex-
Amy,I don't have a problem! I'm in a happy relationship that just happens to be robosex-,Leo,"You finish that word, you kill your parents."
Leo,"You finish that word, you kill your parents.",Wine,Bucket
Wine,Bucket,Amy,Thank you.
Amy,Thank you.,Leo,"Stop seducing him, you hussy!"
Leo,"Stop seducing him, you hussy!",Amy,"Dad, gleesh! I'm attracted to Bender, not his emotionless wine bucket!"
Amy,"Dad, gleesh! I'm attracted to Bender, not his emotionless wine bucket!",Wine,Bucket Hopes deleted.
Wine,Bucket Hopes deleted.,Preacherbot,is paved with human flesh.
Preacherbot,is paved with human flesh.,Bender,Neat!
Bender,Neat!,Preacherbot,"Over the course of this escape-proof workshop, your software will be reprogrammed through prayer. And by some tech support guys in India."
Preacherbot,"Over the course of this escape-proof workshop, your software will be reprogrammed through prayer. And by some tech support guys in India.",Robosexual,Robot that some robots are hardwired to be robosexual.
Robosexual,Robot that some robots are hardwired to be robosexual.,Preacherbot,"Don't believe those lies, son! The one ones worth believing are the ones in the Bible. Can I get an Amen?"
Preacherbot,"Don't believe those lies, son! The one ones worth believing are the ones in the Bible. Can I get an Amen?",Hermaphrobot,"I'll take a-three-men, holla!"
Hermaphrobot,"I'll take a-three-men, holla!",Inez,I want to be a grandmother nine months from five minutes from now.
Inez,I want to be a grandmother nine months from five minutes from now.,Amy,"Cut it out, Mom! I'm not interested in any of these gross, ugly losers."
Amy,"Cut it out, Mom! I'm not interested in any of these gross, ugly losers.",Fry,"What about this gross, ugly, smelly loser?"
Fry,"What about this gross, ugly, smelly loser?",Leo,Fry! What you doing here?
Leo,Fry! What you doing here?,Leo,Look at all that awkward winking.
Leo,Look at all that awkward winking.,Amy,"My parents may be evil, but at least they're stupid."
Amy,"My parents may be evil, but at least they're stupid.",Preacherbot,"In this phase, you will literally wrestle with your demons. Your shapely, buxom, human demons."
Preacherbot,"In this phase, you will literally wrestle with your demons. Your shapely, buxom, human demons.",Fatbot,"Look at the rack on that one! Oh! I mean, that one on the rack!"
Fatbot,"Look at the rack on that one! Oh! I mean, that one on the rack!",Preacherbot,"Now, work it hard! Harder! Till the sin explodes! Ouch! Mmmm. Mercy. Okay, Lord's work is done. Now, now, cuddle. Cuddle with your demons."
Preacherbot,"Now, work it hard! Harder! Till the sin explodes! Ouch! Mmmm. Mercy. Okay, Lord's work is done. Now, now, cuddle. Cuddle with your demons.",Bender,"Oh, Amy. I wonder where you are right now!"
Bender,"Oh, Amy. I wonder where you are right now!",Amy,I'm inside the dummy to rescue you.
Amy,I'm inside the dummy to rescue you.,Leela,"Bender, be careful!"
Leela,"Bender, be careful!",Bender,"Fry? Leela? You're in there, too? Blech."
Bender,"Fry? Leela? You're in there, too? Blech.",Zoidberg,I guess we should have waited in the ship.
Zoidberg,I guess we should have waited in the ship.,Bender,will you marry me?
Bender,will you marry me?,Amy,Yes! Yes!
Amy,Yes! Yes!,Farnsworth,No!
Farnsworth,No!,Zoidberg,Horray!
Zoidberg,Horray!,Farnsworth,Horray denied! Need I remind you that robosexual marriage is illegal!
Farnsworth,Horray denied! Need I remind you that robosexual marriage is illegal!,Bender,"You mean Space-tax-achusetts. No chance, stretch pants! We're gonna fight to legalize it right here!"
Bender,"You mean Space-tax-achusetts. No chance, stretch pants! We're gonna fight to legalize it right here!",Hermes,"Yeah, man! You got to legalize it!"
Hermes,"Yeah, man! You got to legalize it!",Amy,We're talking about robosexual marriage.
Amy,We're talking about robosexual marriage.,Hermes,We're talking about lots of stuff.
Hermes,We're talking about lots of stuff.,Fry,Cool! Can you turn into a race car?
Fry,Cool! Can you turn into a race car?,Hot,"Dog Stand: Nah, I'm just a pre-op transformer."
Hot,"Dog Stand: Nah, I'm just a pre-op transformer.",Amy,"Thank you for coming, everyone. We're all having some good, clean fun here."
Amy,"Thank you for coming, everyone. We're all having some good, clean fun here.",Hedonism,Bot
Hedonism,Bot,Randy,daddies.
Randy,daddies.,Bender,but not robot and human.
Bender,but not robot and human.,Amy,That's why we're introducing this ballot initiative to legalize robosexual marriage.
Amy,That's why we're introducing this ballot initiative to legalize robosexual marriage.,Linda,"As election day nears, prop infinity seems doomed to certain defeat."
Linda,"As election day nears, prop infinity seems doomed to certain defeat.",Morbo,Doooooooomed!
Morbo,Doooooooomed!,Linda,"More fair and balanced coverage after a word from our sponsor, No on Infinity."
Linda,"More fair and balanced coverage after a word from our sponsor, No on Infinity.",Actor,1: A storm is gathering.
Actor,1: A storm is gathering.,Actor,2: A storm of robosexual marriage that will rain down on us like fire.
Actor,2: A storm of robosexual marriage that will rain down on us like fire.,Actor,1: It's probably a firestorm.
Actor,1: It's probably a firestorm.,Actress,"If robosexual marriage becomes legal, imagine the horrible things that will happen to our children, then imagine we said those things, since we couldn't think of any. As a mother, those things worry me."
Actress,"If robosexual marriage becomes legal, imagine the horrible things that will happen to our children, then imagine we said those things, since we couldn't think of any. As a mother, those things worry me.",Bender,"But we still have one hope, my big televised debate! I'm our A in the hole!"
Bender,"But we still have one hope, my big televised debate! I'm our A in the hole!",Fry,"Professor, who's debating for your side?"
Fry,"Professor, who's debating for your side?",Farnsworth,"Oh, that guy, you know, I forget his name."
Farnsworth,"Oh, that guy, you know, I forget his name.",Farnsworth,That's him!
Farnsworth,That's him!,George,"Takei's head We flipped a coin before the debate and Bender stole it, so we'll start with him."
George,"Takei's head We flipped a coin before the debate and Bender stole it, so we'll start with him.",Bender,"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I... Oops. Sorry, force of habit. I support this proposition because I love a goopy, flesh-and-blood woman, and not surprisingly, she loves me. This is a simple matter of justice, which I'm not normally for. So, please, vote yes. After all, our love isn't any different than yours, except it's hotter, 'cause I'm involved."
Bender,"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I... Oops. Sorry, force of habit. I support this proposition because I love a goopy, flesh-and-blood woman, and not surprisingly, she loves me. This is a simple matter of justice, which I'm not normally for. So, please, vote yes. After all, our love isn't any different than yours, except it's hotter, 'cause I'm involved.",Takei,"explained why he couldn't pay me back. Rebuttal, Professor?"
Takei,"explained why he couldn't pay me back. Rebuttal, Professor?",Farnsworth,"This $4 coffee pot talks about love, but what he describes is perversion."
Farnsworth,"This $4 coffee pot talks about love, but what he describes is perversion.",Bender,"You wouldn't know perversion if it put clamps on your testicles! You're just jealous, 'cause you've never known true love."
Bender,"You wouldn't know perversion if it put clamps on your testicles! You're just jealous, 'cause you've never known true love.",Farnsworth,"How could she do that to me, her Farnypoo?"
Farnsworth,"How could she do that to me, her Farnypoo?",Amy,That's it? You hate robosexual 'cause your girlfriend left you for a robot?
Amy,That's it? You hate robosexual 'cause your girlfriend left you for a robot?,George,Takei's head
George,Takei's head,Linda,"In a stunning turnout, voters have approved Proposition Infinity. Robosexual marriage is now legal."
Linda,"In a stunning turnout, voters have approved Proposition Infinity. Robosexual marriage is now legal.",Morbo,"What's next, gay robosexual marriage?"
Morbo,"What's next, gay robosexual marriage?",Amy,"We did it, honey! Finally, we can have a legal, monogamous marriage, like everyone else!"
Amy,"We did it, honey! Finally, we can have a legal, monogamous marriage, like everyone else!",Radio,announcer.
Radio,announcer.,Wailing,Fungus: Shut up and love me!  Shut up and love me!
Wailing,Fungus: Shut up and love me!  Shut up and love me!,Bender,"Give him hell, Morbo!"
Bender,"Give him hell, Morbo!",Morbo,"So Fry, what do you do for a living?"
Morbo,"So Fry, what do you do for a living?",Fry,"Me? Um, can I phone a friend?"
Fry,"Me? Um, can I phone a friend?",Morbo,Are you ready to play?
Morbo,Are you ready to play?,Fry,I didn't come to play. I came to win. Now let's play.
Fry,I didn't come to play. I came to win. Now let's play.,Morbo,"For $1, what tool is used to hammer a nail? Is it, A, a hammer? B, A nail? C..."
Morbo,"For $1, what tool is used to hammer a nail? Is it, A, a hammer? B, A nail? C...",Hermes!,Don't you ever stop to think before you speak?
Hermes!,Don't you ever stop to think before you speak?,Fry,I never stop to think about it.
Fry,I never stop to think about it.,Leela,"Aw, leave Fry alone. His intelligence is just a little differenty."
Leela,"Aw, leave Fry alone. His intelligence is just a little differenty.",Bender,You big dummy!
Bender,You big dummy!,Fry,"Hey, I'm begining to think you guys don't think I'm very smart."
Fry,"Hey, I'm begining to think you guys don't think I'm very smart.",Farnsworth,Not distant enough! I'll be a monkey's uncle if I'm this monkey's nephew!
Farnsworth,Not distant enough! I'll be a monkey's uncle if I'm this monkey's nephew!,Fry,But you're my only family. Who will hug me if I achieve something?
Fry,But you're my only family. Who will hug me if I achieve something?,Farnsworth,repugnant.
Farnsworth,repugnant.,Fry,What turned them to stone?
Fry,What turned them to stone?,Farnsworth,"He invented flying machines, war engines, submarines."
Farnsworth,"He invented flying machines, war engines, submarines.",Fry,died in the wall.
Fry,died in the wall.,Fry,Indeed so. Most indeededly.
Fry,Indeed so. Most indeededly.,Fry,"What is it, Professor?"
Fry,"What is it, Professor?",Farnsworth,"Oh, my! It's da Vinci's fabled lost invention. Even the scholars who wrote of this device had no idea what it was for. And now, at least, neither do I!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, my! It's da Vinci's fabled lost invention. Even the scholars who wrote of this device had no idea what it was for. And now, at least, neither do I!",Fry,Maybe we can figure it out.
Fry,Maybe we can figure it out.,Fry,I was in the hospital two weeks. No one visited me.
Fry,I was in the hospital two weeks. No one visited me.,Farnsworth,"Quiet, you! I'm trying to deduce the function of da Vinci's lost invention."
Farnsworth,"Quiet, you! I'm trying to deduce the function of da Vinci's lost invention.",Fry,Not even a card.
Fry,Not even a card.,Bender,That's the great thing about that hand.
Bender,That's the great thing about that hand.,Hermes,"And what about these funky table legs? It's like their part of some other, funkier painting."
Hermes,"And what about these funky table legs? It's like their part of some other, funkier painting.",Farnsworth,"That's true, Dr. Zoidberg. How did you know that?"
Farnsworth,"That's true, Dr. Zoidberg. How did you know that?",Zoidberg,My doctorate is in Art History.
Zoidberg,My doctorate is in Art History.,Hermes,"Wait a second, I'm not big-boned, I'm just fat."
Hermes,"Wait a second, I'm not big-boned, I'm just fat.",Amy,My God! I'm looking!
Amy,My God! I'm looking!,Leela,My God! Saint James was a robot!
Leela,My God! Saint James was a robot!,Zoidberg,My God! da Vinci left his legs unpainted as a clue.
Zoidberg,My God! da Vinci left his legs unpainted as a clue.,Farnsworth,and exhume the body of Saint James.
Farnsworth,and exhume the body of Saint James.,Hermes,Didn't we used to be a delivery company?
Hermes,Didn't we used to be a delivery company?,Farnsworth,To the ship!
Farnsworth,To the ship!,Leela,"Sure, why not?"
Leela,"Sure, why not?",Fry,Roman numerals? I've got it! We're in Rome.
Fry,Roman numerals? I've got it! We're in Rome.,Farnsworth,"It's true, Saint James really was a robot."
Farnsworth,"It's true, Saint James really was a robot.",Fry,My God! Robot Saint James is a zombie.
Fry,My God! Robot Saint James is a zombie.,Animatronio,"Nay, I am not Saint James."
Animatronio,"Nay, I am not Saint James.",Animatronio,"I'm sure you have many questions. Come, there is a chamber where I used to speak with Pope John the Patient."
Animatronio,"I'm sure you have many questions. Come, there is a chamber where I used to speak with Pope John the Patient.",Animatronio,"I am Animatronio, guardian of da Vinci's great secret. He left my legs visible in the painting as a clue, then dispatched me hither to wait for his shadow society of intellectuals."
Animatronio,"I am Animatronio, guardian of da Vinci's great secret. He left my legs visible in the painting as a clue, then dispatched me hither to wait for his shadow society of intellectuals.",Fry,"Hi, Animatronio."
Fry,"Hi, Animatronio.",Bender,The what now?
Bender,The what now?,Farnswoth,"Quick, we must find out what he knows before he flays himself to death!"
Farnswoth,"Quick, we must find out what he knows before he flays himself to death!",Leela,Where is the great fountain?
Leela,Where is the great fountain?,Fry,What makes it so great?
Fry,What makes it so great?,Animatronio,"Fie, thou fen-suckled bum-bailey! Thou wilst never pry information from these mechanical lips!"
Animatronio,"Fie, thou fen-suckled bum-bailey! Thou wilst never pry information from these mechanical lips!",Leela,"Just tell us, already!"
Leela,"Just tell us, already!",Farnsworth.,There can be no question!
Farnsworth.,There can be no question!,Leela,"But, Professor..."
Leela,"But, Professor...",Farnsworth,There can be no question!
Farnsworth,There can be no question!,Farnsworth,"Okay, everyone, into the fountain."
Farnsworth,"Okay, everyone, into the fountain.",Bender?,I'm not jumping in there.
Bender?,I'm not jumping in there.,Fry,"Hey, look. Coins."
Fry,"Hey, look. Coins.",Farnsworth,My god! It's the Pantheon!
Farnsworth,My god! It's the Pantheon!,Leela,"This place is 3,000 years old. What could possibly be left to discover?"
Leela,"This place is 3,000 years old. What could possibly be left to discover?",Fry,It's truly a masterpiece. Note how the perspective lines draw the eye right to his dong.
Fry,It's truly a masterpiece. Note how the perspective lines draw the eye right to his dong.,Bender,Anyone hear something?
Bender,Anyone hear something?,Farnsworth,"It's a coin slot. Bender, insert that giant nickel."
Farnsworth,"It's a coin slot. Bender, insert that giant nickel.",Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Farnswoth,"I withdraw the question, Vitruvian Man."
Farnswoth,"I withdraw the question, Vitruvian Man.",Farnsworth,Da Vinci's lost workshop!
Farnsworth,Da Vinci's lost workshop!,Fry,"At the risk of sounding stupid, do these things actually work?"
Fry,"At the risk of sounding stupid, do these things actually work?",Farnsworth,"I mean, that flying machine is as aerodynamic as a sofa. How could it possibly get off the ground?"
Farnsworth,"I mean, that flying machine is as aerodynamic as a sofa. How could it possibly get off the ground?",Fry,"Hi, Animatronio."
Fry,"Hi, Animatronio.",Bender,"All right, buddy, we want secrets! And they better be ancient!"
Bender,"All right, buddy, we want secrets! And they better be ancient!",Animatronio,Porco metallico! Never shall I reveal how these wonderous machines fit together!
Animatronio,Porco metallico! Never shall I reveal how these wonderous machines fit together!,Farnsworth,They fit together?
Farnsworth,They fit together?,Fry,"You're right, Professor. This thing doesn't fly."
Fry,"You're right, Professor. This thing doesn't fly.",Fry,"Bye, Animatronio!"
Fry,"Bye, Animatronio!",Farnsworth,My God! Why would Leonardo's machine's brought us here?
Farnsworth,My God! Why would Leonardo's machine's brought us here?,Leonardo,da Vinci.
Leonardo,da Vinci.,Farnsworth,My God!
Farnsworth,My God!,Fry,That's what I was gonna say!
Fry,That's what I was gonna say!,Farnsworth,Leonardo! You're alive? Here?
Farnsworth,Leonardo! You're alive? Here?,Leonardo.,"In truth, I am what you call a space alien."
Leonardo.,"In truth, I am what you call a space alien.",Farnsworth,Oh!
Farnsworth,Oh!,Fry?,Neh.
Fry?,Neh.,Fry,Looks like eating rocks wasn't as dumb as you said.
Fry,Looks like eating rocks wasn't as dumb as you said.,Fry,So what do people do for fun here?
Fry,So what do people do for fun here?,Leonardo,and lusty women?
Leonardo,and lusty women?,Fry,I sure do!
Fry,I sure do!,Leonardo,Not us. We spend our leisure time in the mathematics museum. Planet Vinci is basically a single colossal university.
Leonardo,Not us. We spend our leisure time in the mathematics museum. Planet Vinci is basically a single colossal university.,Fry,team?
Fry,team?,Leonardo,Learned.
Leonardo,Learned.,Leonardo,"Would you like to hear the lecture, too, Fry?"
Leonardo,"Would you like to hear the lecture, too, Fry?",Fry,No. It would just go in one ear and out some other hole.
Fry,No. It would just go in one ear and out some other hole.,Leonardo,"Come, sit down."
Leonardo,"Come, sit down.",Fry,"I have a terrible secret to confess, Mr. DiCaprio. I'm not very smart."
Fry,"I have a terrible secret to confess, Mr. DiCaprio. I'm not very smart.",Leonardo,I appreciate your candor.
Leonardo,I appreciate your candor.,Fry,I don't even know what language you're speaking.
Fry,I don't even know what language you're speaking.,Leonardo,"I, too, have a confession. You see, here on Planet Vinci, I am the stupidest person."
Leonardo,"I, too, have a confession. You see, here on Planet Vinci, I am the stupidest person.",Leonardo,Stupid Biff. Thinks he's so smart.
Leonardo,Stupid Biff. Thinks he's so smart.,Fry,"He looks stronger than you, too."
Fry,"He looks stronger than you, too.",Leonardo,I went to Earth because I could no longer stand the ridicule. But being surrounded by even stupider people was equally infuriating.
Leonardo,I went to Earth because I could no longer stand the ridicule. But being surrounded by even stupider people was equally infuriating.,Fry,I can see myself in your shiny button.
Fry,I can see myself in your shiny button.,Leonardo,"Inventing is what makes me happy. Or did, until I misplaced the plans for my masterpiece."
Leonardo,"Inventing is what makes me happy. Or did, until I misplaced the plans for my masterpiece.",Leonardo,"Infinity joy! Fry, my friend, you have given my life a meaning again!"
Leonardo,"Infinity joy! Fry, my friend, you have given my life a meaning again!",Farnsworth,Embarrassed!
Farnsworth,Embarrassed!,Leonardo,"For centuries, you've all ridiculed me. Especially you, Biff."
Leonardo,"For centuries, you've all ridiculed me. Especially you, Biff.",Leonardo,"But, at long last, this invention will show you. It will show you all. Behold, my unstoppable doomsday machine!"
Leonardo,"But, at long last, this invention will show you. It will show you all. Behold, my unstoppable doomsday machine!",Fry,machine.
Fry,machine.,Leonardo,Ice cream is just a by-product of the machine. It's primary purpose is to exterminate everyone who ever made me feel inferior!
Leonardo,Ice cream is just a by-product of the machine. It's primary purpose is to exterminate everyone who ever made me feel inferior!,Biff,"Oh, I'm so scared!"
Biff,"Oh, I'm so scared!",Farnsworth,I want in on this!
Farnsworth,I want in on this!,Fry,"Are you crazy, Professor?"
Fry,"Are you crazy, Professor?",Farnsworth,"I hate these nerds. Just because I'm stupider than them, they think they're smarter than me. Kill them all, starting with the math teacher!"
Farnsworth,"I hate these nerds. Just because I'm stupider than them, they think they're smarter than me. Kill them all, starting with the math teacher!",Farnsworth,I knew this final invention would be a humdinger!
Farnsworth,I knew this final invention would be a humdinger!,Leonardo,"Yes, we three idiots will finally have our revenge."
Leonardo,"Yes, we three idiots will finally have our revenge.",Fry,"There's always going to someone smarter than you, so the only way to be happy is to make the most of what you've got."
Fry,"There's always going to someone smarter than you, so the only way to be happy is to make the most of what you've got.",Leonardo,But you've got nothing.
Leonardo,But you've got nothing.,Biff,Some doomsday machine! It barely killed anyone!
Biff,Some doomsday machine! It barely killed anyone!,Farnsworth,"Oh, my."
Farnsworth,"Oh, my.",Girl,Poor Leonardo da Vinci. He sure was stupid.
Girl,Poor Leonardo da Vinci. He sure was stupid.,Farnsworth,"Fry, I admire what you did today, and I'm deeply sorry for insulting your intellect. Your tiny, tiny intellect. Oops, there I go again, you dope. I mean, dummy."
Farnsworth,"Fry, I admire what you did today, and I'm deeply sorry for insulting your intellect. Your tiny, tiny intellect. Oops, there I go again, you dope. I mean, dummy.",Fry,used to say.
Fry,used to say.,Farnsworth,She was a wise woman.
Farnsworth,She was a wise woman.,Fry,"Also, that I'm not much to look at."
Fry,"Also, that I'm not much to look at.",Farnsworth,"A wise woman, indeed."
Farnsworth,"A wise woman, indeed.",Farnsworth,I fear I may not survive this war reenactment. I can't believe we’re only twelve feet from the parking lot.
Farnsworth,I fear I may not survive this war reenactment. I can't believe we’re only twelve feet from the parking lot.,Leela,Not the Civil War private. We’re reinacting the Sith-il War. Fry?
Leela,Not the Civil War private. We’re reinacting the Sith-il War. Fry?,Bender,Enemy invaders! Up in yonder sky!
Bender,Enemy invaders! Up in yonder sky!,Darth,Stroyer: I am Darth Stroyer.
Darth,Stroyer: I am Darth Stroyer.,Fry,Darth Stroyer? That’s the stupidest name I’ve ever heard.
Fry,Darth Stroyer? That’s the stupidest name I’ve ever heard.,Leela,Let’s hear the rest.
Leela,Let’s hear the rest.,Darth,Trocious: Darth Trocious.
Darth,Trocious: Darth Trocious.,Darth,Sploder: Darth Sploder.
Darth,Sploder: Darth Sploder.,Darth,Urderer: Darth Urderer.
Darth,Urderer: Darth Urderer.,Darth,Ithead: Darth Ithead. Leela: Company! Attack!
Darth,Ithead: Darth Ithead. Leela: Company! Attack!,Hermes,Don’t fire until you see the greens of their eyes! It saves on bullets.
Hermes,Don’t fire until you see the greens of their eyes! It saves on bullets.,Darth,Stroyer It is done.
Darth,Stroyer It is done.,Scruffy,Mhrm.
Scruffy,Mhrm.,Darth,Sploder: You're dead!
Darth,Sploder: You're dead!,Darth,Sploder Woah! That's good acting!
Darth,Sploder Woah! That's good acting!,Darth,Sploder: Tell my mother... to pick me up outside Quiznos.
Darth,Sploder: Tell my mother... to pick me up outside Quiznos.,Darth,Trocious!
Darth,Trocious!,Fry,"If you were really dead, you wouldn't be laughing so hard."
Fry,"If you were really dead, you wouldn't be laughing so hard.",Fry,"So? What if something heavy fell on you, like a church? You could still die."
Fry,"So? What if something heavy fell on you, like a church? You could still die.",Bender,"Nuh-uh! My wireless back-up unit saves a copy of me every day. So, if my body gets killed, big whoop, I just download into another body. I'm immortal, baby!"
Bender,"Nuh-uh! My wireless back-up unit saves a copy of me every day. So, if my body gets killed, big whoop, I just download into another body. I'm immortal, baby!",Amy,What? Then how come you always scream so much when you're in danger?
Amy,What? Then how come you always scream so much when you're in danger?,Bender,I never said I wasn't a drama queen.
Bender,I never said I wasn't a drama queen.,Hermes,And the winner of the war is... let me just cross check my tabulation here. Factor in the corsages for the widows.
Hermes,And the winner of the war is... let me just cross check my tabulation here. Factor in the corsages for the widows.,Bender,"Hurry up, you number-crunching crumb-nuncher! Everybody but me is dying of old age!"
Bender,"Hurry up, you number-crunching crumb-nuncher! Everybody but me is dying of old age!",Darth,Sploder: Hot diggity! I mean... Supreme diggity.
Darth,Sploder: Hot diggity! I mean... Supreme diggity.,Fry,"It may have been a fake war, but my scuffed knee is all too real."
Fry,"It may have been a fake war, but my scuffed knee is all too real.",Farnsworth,"I have pain in joints I had removed a century ago. Bender, bring me my soft chair with the wheels on it."
Farnsworth,"I have pain in joints I had removed a century ago. Bender, bring me my soft chair with the wheels on it.",Bender,Your wheelchair?
Bender,Your wheelchair?,Farnsworth,I don't need a wheelchair! The one with the wheels!
Farnsworth,I don't need a wheelchair! The one with the wheels!,Bender,Poor flimsy humans. Don't you wish you were flawless like me? A towering inferno of physical perfection?
Bender,Poor flimsy humans. Don't you wish you were flawless like me? A towering inferno of physical perfection?,Leela,"I hate to pop your blimp-like ego, but you're not perfect."
Leela,"I hate to pop your blimp-like ego, but you're not perfect.",Bender,Am so!
Bender,Am so!,Leela,Are not!
Leela,Are not!,Bender,Is too!
Bender,Is too!,Leela,Says who?
Leela,Says who?,"Bender,","the best inspector a kid could want. The day I was built, he looked me over, probably with tears of pride in his eyes, and proclaimed to all the world, by means of this scrap of paper, that I was perfect and infallible in every way!"
"Bender,","the best inspector a kid could want. The day I was built, he looked me over, probably with tears of pride in his eyes, and proclaimed to all the world, by means of this scrap of paper, that I was perfect and infallible in every way!",Bender,Huh? Wasn't me. Must be some of that urine your all so proud of.
Bender,Huh? Wasn't me. Must be some of that urine your all so proud of.,Fry,"That's not urine, it's oil."
Fry,"That's not urine, it's oil.",Zoidberg,"Goodbye, friends!"
Zoidberg,"Goodbye, friends!",Bender,"What could have caused the leak? Excessive heat, on the count that I'm so hot?"
Bender,"What could have caused the leak? Excessive heat, on the count that I'm so hot?",Farnsworth,"Alas, no. Oh, Bender, I'm afraid it's a symptom of a fatal defect."
Farnsworth,"Alas, no. Oh, Bender, I'm afraid it's a symptom of a fatal defect.",Bender,"Yeah, fatal schmatal. If I die I can just download my backup copy into a new, equally fabulous, body."
Bender,"Yeah, fatal schmatal. If I die I can just download my backup copy into a new, equally fabulous, body.",Farnsworth,That's just it! You can't. You were built without a backup unit.
Farnsworth,That's just it! You can't. You were built without a backup unit.,Bender,There's no backup copy of me?
Bender,There's no backup copy of me?,Farnsworth,"That's what I just said, you mortal coil."
Farnsworth,"That's what I just said, you mortal coil.",Bender,"So, if I die..."
Bender,"So, if I die...",Bender,No!
Bender,No!,Bender,I can't believe it! I'm gonna die.
Bender,I can't believe it! I'm gonna die.,Fry,"How much time does he have left, Professor?"
Fry,"How much time does he have left, Professor?",Farnsworth,Between a minute and a billion years.
Farnsworth,Between a minute and a billion years.,Fry,"Well, at least you can plan accordingly."
Fry,"Well, at least you can plan accordingly.",Bender,Dying sucks butt! How do you living beings cope with mortality?
Bender,Dying sucks butt! How do you living beings cope with mortality?,Leela,Violent outbursts.
Leela,Violent outbursts.,Amy,General sluttiness.
Amy,General sluttiness.,Fry,"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal."
Fry,"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.",Bender,How could he bring me into this world knowing I gonna die?
Bender,How could he bring me into this world knowing I gonna die?,Zoidberg,"So you wish you were never born, maybe?"
Zoidberg,"So you wish you were never born, maybe?",Bender,"Yes, anything less than immortality is a complete waste of time!"
Bender,"Yes, anything less than immortality is a complete waste of time!",Zoidberg,Then suicide it is. Step into my office. I'll give you a nice Kervorking.
Zoidberg,Then suicide it is. Step into my office. I'll give you a nice Kervorking.,Bender,Not until I hunt down Inspector 5 and beat an explanation out of him!
Bender,Not until I hunt down Inspector 5 and beat an explanation out of him!,"Leela,",faceless bean counters who blend into the woodwork.
"Leela,",faceless bean counters who blend into the woodwork.,Hermes,I beg to differ!
Hermes,I beg to differ!,Bender,Stinking bureaucrats! I hate 'em.
Bender,Stinking bureaucrats! I hate 'em.,Leela,"Then again, you might be able to find Inspector 5 with the help of another seasoned bureaucrat."
Leela,"Then again, you might be able to find Inspector 5 with the help of another seasoned bureaucrat.",Bender,"Hermes, old pal!"
Bender,"Hermes, old pal!",Hermes,"Old pal? 8.5 seconds ago, you said you hated me."
Hermes,"Old pal? 8.5 seconds ago, you said you hated me.",Bender,Time heals all wounds.
Bender,Time heals all wounds.,Hermes,"You know what? I will help you, but only to prove I'm not just a paper-pushing file-jockey."
Hermes,"You know what? I will help you, but only to prove I'm not just a paper-pushing file-jockey.",Amy,Will you be taking your portable filing cabinet?
Amy,Will you be taking your portable filing cabinet?,Hermes,None of your beeswax!
Hermes,None of your beeswax!,Hermes,"A, B, C, D..."
Hermes,"A, B, C, D...",Leela,Get out of my office!
Leela,Get out of my office!,Old,man
Old,man,Woman,Sorry. That's Building C.
Woman,Sorry. That's Building C.,Hermes,The Central Bureaucracy maintains records on all bureaucrats. We should be able to look up Inspector 5.
Hermes,The Central Bureaucracy maintains records on all bureaucrats. We should be able to look up Inspector 5.,Man,And the other potential entrant?
Man,And the other potential entrant?,Hermes,"Uh, he's my pencil sharpener."
Hermes,"Uh, he's my pencil sharpener.",Hermes,I maintain a cubicle here for weekend getaways.
Hermes,I maintain a cubicle here for weekend getaways.,Bender,"Wow! Until now, I thought giant cubes were exciting."
Bender,"Wow! Until now, I thought giant cubes were exciting.",Bender,I did like the part where they screamed.
Bender,I did like the part where they screamed.,Hermes,This is mine. Right next to the center square.
Hermes,This is mine. Right next to the center square.,Center,Square Guy
Center,Square Guy,Hermes,"Once I log in, I can access Inspector 5's profile."
Hermes,"Once I log in, I can access Inspector 5's profile.",Bender,Damn it! It won't go on.
Bender,Damn it! It won't go on.,Bender,Hooray! It won't go on!
Bender,Hooray! It won't go on!,Computer,"Identity confirmed. Also, you have a rectangular mass in your colon."
Computer,"Identity confirmed. Also, you have a rectangular mass in your colon.",Hermes,That's a calculator. I ate it to gain its power.
Hermes,That's a calculator. I ate it to gain its power.,Hermes,Sweet File-not-found of Puget Sound! His record's been blanked!
Hermes,Sweet File-not-found of Puget Sound! His record's been blanked!,Bender,"Aw, man! How am I going to find some anonymous guy I don't know anything about?"
Bender,"Aw, man! How am I going to find some anonymous guy I don't know anything about?",Center,Square Guy
Center,Square Guy,Leela,I'm a natural.
Leela,I'm a natural.,Hermes,"The information we need will be here, in the physical files."
Hermes,"The information we need will be here, in the physical files.",Bender,It's on!
Bender,It's on!,Hermes,"No! This is impossible! Quit blacking out and look at this. Inspectors 1, 2, 3, 4... 6. There's no trace of Inspector 5!"
Hermes,"No! This is impossible! Quit blacking out and look at this. Inspectors 1, 2, 3, 4... 6. There's no trace of Inspector 5!",Bender,But 5's the one we want. Maybe if I kicked the asses of Inspector 2 plus Inspector 3...
Bender,But 5's the one we want. Maybe if I kicked the asses of Inspector 2 plus Inspector 3...,Hermes,"Addition never solve anything, man. Let's cut our losses and go home."
Hermes,"Addition never solve anything, man. Let's cut our losses and go home.",Hermes,"Bender, no! Suicide isn't necessarily the answer!"
Hermes,"Bender, no! Suicide isn't necessarily the answer!",Mom,Who the hell is this? How did you get this number?
Mom,Who the hell is this? How did you get this number?,Bender?,Cause I have a complaint about a defective robot. His name is me!
Bender?,Cause I have a complaint about a defective robot. His name is me!,Bender,"Well, things are starting to look up."
Bender,"Well, things are starting to look up.",Hermes,Who did you call? Dial-a-bomb?
Hermes,Who did you call? Dial-a-bomb?,Bender,"No, I just told the robot company I was defective."
Bender,"No, I just told the robot company I was defective.",Hermes,You dumb cocktail shaker! Mom won't allow a defective product to tarnish her good name! She'll kill you.
Hermes,You dumb cocktail shaker! Mom won't allow a defective product to tarnish her good name! She'll kill you.,Mom,That's what you get for calling tech support.
Mom,That's what you get for calling tech support.,Hermes,Just a few more feet. We have to get to that pile of dead bears by 7:38.
Hermes,Just a few more feet. We have to get to that pile of dead bears by 7:38.,Bender,A pile of dead bears can only mean one thing. But what?
Bender,A pile of dead bears can only mean one thing. But what?,Bender,"Aw, shoot!"
Bender,"Aw, shoot!",Hermes,"No, we're not! We just go to limbo!"
Hermes,"No, we're not! We just go to limbo!",Bender,That'll do it. Ow! Ow! Ow!
Bender,That'll do it. Ow! Ow! Ow!,Killbot,1: We're gonna get fired.
Killbot,1: We're gonna get fired.,Killbot,2
Killbot,2,Bender,We did it!
Bender,We did it!,Hermes,Twelve straight hours of limbo. I haven't done that since my honeymoon.
Hermes,Twelve straight hours of limbo. I haven't done that since my honeymoon.,Bender,Hermes! Hermes! Remember that flock of bats?
Bender,Hermes! Hermes! Remember that flock of bats?,Hermes,I sure do.
Hermes,I sure do.,Bender,That was fun.
Bender,That was fun.,Bender,Where are we?
Bender,Where are we?,Hermes,I have no idea.
Hermes,I have no idea.,Bender,See?
Bender,See?,Mexican,Man A rock has fallen here in the outskirts of Tijuana.
Mexican,Man A rock has fallen here in the outskirts of Tijuana.,Bender,Is it within city limits?
Bender,Is it within city limits?,Mexican,"Man: I think, yes."
Mexican,"Man: I think, yes.",Bender,Told you!
Bender,Told you!,Hermes,"Hey, you wanna celebrate our escape? Maybe grab a shot of tequila and take in a big-league cockfight?"
Hermes,"Hey, you wanna celebrate our escape? Maybe grab a shot of tequila and take in a big-league cockfight?",Bender,"Sure. No, wait. I was built in Tijuana. Maybe Inspector 5 still works there. He better do some splaining. Before I mash up some face guacamole."
Bender,"Sure. No, wait. I was built in Tijuana. Maybe Inspector 5 still works there. He better do some splaining. Before I mash up some face guacamole.",Bender,"He's Mexican, I'm Mexican. Let me handle this."
Bender,"He's Mexican, I'm Mexican. Let me handle this.",Mexican,border patrolman
Mexican,border patrolman,Bender,Ouch-o!
Bender,Ouch-o!,Hermes,"Here are our passports, visas, and Homeland Security permission slips, notarized and starched."
Hermes,"Here are our passports, visas, and Homeland Security permission slips, notarized and starched.",Mexican,border patrolman Okay. I also would ¡ave accepted a bribe.
Mexican,border patrolman Okay. I also would ¡ave accepted a bribe.,Bender,"My birthplace. It's closed! There's not even a shrine to me. With a gift shop, selling piñatas of me!"
Bender,"My birthplace. It's closed! There's not even a shrine to me. With a gift shop, selling piñatas of me!",Hermes,"End of the line, man! Come on, we can still catch a twi-night double cockfight."
Hermes,"End of the line, man! Come on, we can still catch a twi-night double cockfight.",Bender,No wait! What's that in the Mexican garbage?
Bender,No wait! What's that in the Mexican garbage?,Hermes,Looks like a half-eaten cheese diaper.
Hermes,Looks like a half-eaten cheese diaper.,Bender,"Where are you hiding, you coward? Get out here and get murdered like a man!"
Bender,"Where are you hiding, you coward? Get out here and get murdered like a man!",Hermes,"Bender, I'm afraid our search is at an end. He's obviously long gone."
Hermes,"Bender, I'm afraid our search is at an end. He's obviously long gone.",Bender,I'm gonna squeeze you out of there like Tijuana toothpaste.
Bender,I'm gonna squeeze you out of there like Tijuana toothpaste.,Hermes,"Okay, Bender, you're mortal. And okay, Inspector 5 screwed up. But that just makes the time you have left all the more precious. Do you really want to waste the rest of your life in a bitter, homicidal rage?"
Hermes,"Okay, Bender, you're mortal. And okay, Inspector 5 screwed up. But that just makes the time you have left all the more precious. Do you really want to waste the rest of your life in a bitter, homicidal rage?",Hermes,"Bender, which is something Inspector 5 will never be."
Hermes,"Bender, which is something Inspector 5 will never be.",Bender,"Help, I'm gonna die! That's the opposite of what I want!"
Bender,"Help, I'm gonna die! That's the opposite of what I want!",Hermes,"Quick, run out the back! I'll hack into Inspector 5's terminal and fake your death, so they'll call off the Killbots."
Hermes,"Quick, run out the back! I'll hack into Inspector 5's terminal and fake your death, so they'll call off the Killbots.",Bender,"Good luck, buddy!"
Bender,"Good luck, buddy!",Computer,"Bender, terminated."
Computer,"Bender, terminated.",Hermes,Bender saved.
Hermes,Bender saved.,Killbot,"2: Cease fire. Mom called off the attack, although I don't see how it's her–"
Killbot,"2: Cease fire. Mom called off the attack, although I don't see how it's her–",Killbot,3: Someone said howitzer! Bender He did it! And he's not even looking back at that cool explosion! He's a hero!
Killbot,3: Someone said howitzer! Bender He did it! And he's not even looking back at that cool explosion! He's a hero!,Bender,Ah. This place never changes.
Bender,Ah. This place never changes.,Hermes,Leela! What in the name of Jah happened?
Hermes,Leela! What in the name of Jah happened?,Leela,Too much papers! Not enough hiding plants!
Leela,Too much papers! Not enough hiding plants!,Hermes,It's alright. This place just needs a one-hour bureaucratizing.
Hermes,It's alright. This place just needs a one-hour bureaucratizing.,Leela,You make it look so easy.
Leela,You make it look so easy.,Hermes,I've smoked a lot of paperwork in my day.
Hermes,I've smoked a lot of paperwork in my day.,Fry,"Hey, Bender. Did you ever find that inspector guy you were looking for?"
Fry,"Hey, Bender. Did you ever find that inspector guy you were looking for?",Bender,Don't wake up Fry.
Bender,Don't wake up Fry.,Bender,My roommate's sleeping.
Bender,My roommate's sleeping.,Bender,Now can we get some privacy?
Bender,Now can we get some privacy?,Bender,"Ah yeah, backing on up."
Bender,"Ah yeah, backing on up.",Bender,"Hambone. Okay, hambone break's over. Back to the bedroom."
Bender,"Hambone. Okay, hambone break's over. Back to the bedroom.",Bender,Hambone.
Bender,Hambone.,Bender,Wake up and feel the coffee.
Bender,Wake up and feel the coffee.,Fry,Oh no! I'm late for work again!
Fry,Oh no! I'm late for work again!,Fry,"Sorry, I'm late."
Fry,"Sorry, I'm late.",Bender,"Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up."
Bender,"Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up.",Farnsworth,"I've had it with your tardiness, Fry. I expect you to arrive the same time as everyone else."
Farnsworth,"I've had it with your tardiness, Fry. I expect you to arrive the same time as everyone else.",Fry,"Well, wait a second. Leela's not here yet."
Fry,"Well, wait a second. Leela's not here yet.",Amy,She left a while ago. She said some idiot were taking her to lunch for her birthday.
Amy,She left a while ago. She said some idiot were taking her to lunch for her birthday.,Fry,Oh no! I'm late.
Fry,Oh no! I'm late.,Elzar,"Since you got stood up, I thought this might cheer you up a notch."
Elzar,"Since you got stood up, I thought this might cheer you up a notch.",Leela,That's not necessary.
Leela,That's not necessary.,It's,Leela's birthday
It's,Leela's birthday,Leela,Please stop.
Leela,Please stop.,Elzar,What a day for a birthday
Elzar,What a day for a birthday,Leela,I really would like you to stop singing.
Leela,I really would like you to stop singing.,Elzar,Let's all have some cake. You want to buy a slice of a birthday cake for 11.95?
Elzar,Let's all have some cake. You want to buy a slice of a birthday cake for 11.95?,Leela,"Yes, please."
Leela,"Yes, please.",Fry,"Ooh, nice cake. Sorry, I'm late."
Fry,"Ooh, nice cake. Sorry, I'm late.",Leela,"Where have you—? Nah, it's fine."
Leela,"Where have you—? Nah, it's fine.",Fry,You're not mad?
Fry,You're not mad?,Leela,"Anyhow, I ate both our lunches. You ordered the Lobster Pilé. It wasn't cheap."
Leela,"Anyhow, I ate both our lunches. You ordered the Lobster Pilé. It wasn't cheap.",Elzar,Bam!
Elzar,Bam!,Fry,"Please, let me make it up to you. I'll treat you to a fancy birthday dinner tonight at Cavern on the Green."
Fry,"Please, let me make it up to you. I'll treat you to a fancy birthday dinner tonight at Cavern on the Green.",Leela,Wow. That'll be the nicest place I've ever been stood up.
Leela,Wow. That'll be the nicest place I've ever been stood up.,Fry,"Not this time. No matter what happens, I'll swear I be there."
Fry,"Not this time. No matter what happens, I'll swear I be there.",Bender,"But tonight, he's having the girls gone wildest bachelor party of all time."
Bender,"But tonight, he's having the girls gone wildest bachelor party of all time.",Fry,... cares? I'm having dinner with Leela.
Fry,... cares? I'm having dinner with Leela.,Leela,Just go to your stupid party. We can have dinner on my birthday some other year.
Leela,Just go to your stupid party. We can have dinner on my birthday some other year.,Fry,"No. I can throw up on a stripper anytime. Tonight, I wanna not throw up. On you."
Fry,"No. I can throw up on a stripper anytime. Tonight, I wanna not throw up. On you.",Leela,Really?
Leela,Really?,Bender,"Hey, Professor, you're my wingman."
Bender,"Hey, Professor, you're my wingman.",Farnsworth,"Very well. Eh, Cubert, fetch my drinking teeth."
Farnsworth,"Very well. Eh, Cubert, fetch my drinking teeth.",Fry,I just have to sign Leela's birthday card. How do you spell XO?
Fry,I just have to sign Leela's birthday card. How do you spell XO?,Amy,Guh. It's a record-your-own-message card. You don't sign it. You leave a nude video greeting.
Amy,Guh. It's a record-your-own-message card. You don't sign it. You leave a nude video greeting.,Fry,Does it have to be nude?
Fry,Does it have to be nude?,Amy,I guess not. That never occurred to me.
Amy,I guess not. That never occurred to me.,Fry,"If I leave now, record a birthday greeting on the way, score some fancy cologne at the newsstand, I'll be exactly on time!"
Fry,"If I leave now, record a birthday greeting on the way, score some fancy cologne at the newsstand, I'll be exactly on time!",Farnsworth,You're not going anywhere.
Farnsworth,You're not going anywhere.,Fry,But I have a date.
Fry,But I have a date.,Farnsworth,Behold! A time travelling machine!
Farnsworth,Behold! A time travelling machine!,Bender,Time? I can't go back there.
Bender,Time? I can't go back there.,Farnsworth,"Ah, but this time machine only goes forward in time. That way you can't accidentally change history. Or do something disgusting like sleep with your own grandmother."
Farnsworth,"Ah, but this time machine only goes forward in time. That way you can't accidentally change history. Or do something disgusting like sleep with your own grandmother.",Fry,I wouldn't wanna do that again.
Fry,I wouldn't wanna do that again.,Farnsworth,Get in.
Farnsworth,Get in.,Fry,"Okay, hurry. Let's get it over with. I can record Leela's birthday card while we're in there."
Fry,"Okay, hurry. Let's get it over with. I can record Leela's birthday card while we're in there.",Fry,"Happy birthday, Leela. I'm really sorry I'm gonna be one minute late, 'cause we're testing the professor's dumb time machine."
Fry,"Happy birthday, Leela. I'm really sorry I'm gonna be one minute late, 'cause we're testing the professor's dumb time machine.",Farnsworth,Okay. I'll just nudge us forward exactly one minute into the—
Farnsworth,Okay. I'll just nudge us forward exactly one minute into the—,Fry,My card!
Fry,My card!,Fry,Did we go too far? What time is it?
Fry,Did we go too far? What time is it?,Bender,The year ten thousand!
Bender,The year ten thousand!,Farnsworth,Whoopsie.
Farnsworth,Whoopsie.,Farnsworth,"Oh dear. I mean, oh my."
Farnsworth,"Oh dear. I mean, oh my.",Fry,The year ten thousand? But I promised Leela I'll be on time for dinner.
Fry,The year ten thousand? But I promised Leela I'll be on time for dinner.,Farnsworth,"Relax, Fry. Everyone we ever knew died thousands of years ago."
Farnsworth,"Relax, Fry. Everyone we ever knew died thousands of years ago.",Bender,"Everyone we ever knew? Nah, I never liked those guys."
Bender,"Everyone we ever knew? Nah, I never liked those guys.",Fry,"... I don't know, is that a slug, maybe? Noooo!"
Fry,"... I don't know, is that a slug, maybe? Noooo!",Waiter,"These unique rock formations were created over millions of years by mineral rich water dripping from pores in the ceiling. Dripping and dripping. year on year, century after century."
Waiter,"These unique rock formations were created over millions of years by mineral rich water dripping from pores in the ceiling. Dripping and dripping. year on year, century after century.",Elzar,"What day is today? Hey, aren't you the loser who got stood up on my other restaurant?"
Elzar,"What day is today? Hey, aren't you the loser who got stood up on my other restaurant?",Leela,Just shut up and bring me two dinners.
Leela,Just shut up and bring me two dinners.,Leela,Has anyone seen Fry's ass? It's late for a date with my boot.
Leela,Has anyone seen Fry's ass? It's late for a date with my boot.,Cubert,Fry's not here. Obviously he went to that pervert party with Bender and the professor.
Cubert,Fry's not here. Obviously he went to that pervert party with Bender and the professor.,Leela,Fry went to the party?
Leela,Fry went to the party?,Linda,... of the disaster at Hedonism bot's bachelor party.
Linda,... of the disaster at Hedonism bot's bachelor party.,Morbo,"Linda, what began as innocent fun ended in tragedy tonight when a nuclear powered robot stripper suffered a catastrophic reactor meltdown. There is only one survivor."
Morbo,"Linda, what began as innocent fun ended in tragedy tonight when a nuclear powered robot stripper suffered a catastrophic reactor meltdown. There is only one survivor.",Hedonism,bot: Everywhere I looked there were piles of bodies. And then the explosion struck.
Hedonism,bot: Everywhere I looked there were piles of bodies. And then the explosion struck.,Zoidberg,The three coworkers I liked... all dead!
Zoidberg,The three coworkers I liked... all dead!,Leela,"Fry stood me up and died? I'm so angry. I mean, I'm so sad. But I'm still pretty angry. But also sad. Can I be both?"
Leela,"Fry stood me up and died? I'm so angry. I mean, I'm so sad. But I'm still pretty angry. But also sad. Can I be both?",Hermes,It's what he'd want.
Hermes,It's what he'd want.,Leela,Then that's what I am! Hi-yah!
Leela,Then that's what I am! Hi-yah!,Bender,"Man, the future is a total craphole. Whoever lives here is a crapface sack of crap. No offence, fellows."
Bender,"Man, the future is a total craphole. Whoever lives here is a crapface sack of crap. No offence, fellows.",Native,"#1: Don't sweat it, man."
Native,"#1: Don't sweat it, man.",Fry,I'll never see Leela again.
Fry,I'll never see Leela again.,Farnsworth,"No, without a backwards time machine we're stuck in this craphole."
Farnsworth,"No, without a backwards time machine we're stuck in this craphole.",Native,"#1: Dude, give it a rest."
Native,"#1: Dude, give it a rest.",Farnsworth,"Hold on! I got it. We can't go back in time, but we can keep going forward until people invent the backwards time machine."
Farnsworth,"Hold on! I got it. We can't go back in time, but we can keep going forward until people invent the backwards time machine.",Fry,And then we can go home.
Fry,And then we can go home.,Bender,Hit it.
Bender,Hit it.,Old,Hermes: Sometimes I can't believe how successful Planet Express became once the professor was killed and you seized control.
Old,Hermes: Sometimes I can't believe how successful Planet Express became once the professor was killed and you seized control.,Old,Leela: There were tough times. But we all pulled together.
Old,Leela: There were tough times. But we all pulled together.,Old,Zoidberg: I've been crunching the numbers on our transgalactic strategy—
Old,Zoidberg: I've been crunching the numbers on our transgalactic strategy—,Old,Leela: What are you doing here? I laid you off twenty years ago.
Old,Leela: What are you doing here? I laid you off twenty years ago.,Old,"Zoidberg: Oh, the claws can't flee like they used to."
Old,"Zoidberg: Oh, the claws can't flee like they used to.",Old,"Leela: Success is nice, but I do kinda miss the old days."
Old,"Leela: Success is nice, but I do kinda miss the old days.",Old,"Cubert: Hey, Leels."
Old,"Cubert: Hey, Leels.",Old,"Leela: Hi, Cubert."
Old,"Leela: Hi, Cubert.",Male,"inhabitant: May we help you, strange ones?"
Male,"inhabitant: May we help you, strange ones?",Bender,"We are travellers from the past, my good runt."
Bender,"We are travellers from the past, my good runt.",Female,"inhabitant: I see, since your time, human evolution has diverged."
Female,"inhabitant: I see, since your time, human evolution has diverged.",Male,inhabitant: There are we; advanced in intellect and morality.
Male,inhabitant: There are we; advanced in intellect and morality.,Female,"inhabitant: And the Dumblocks; stupid vicious brutes, who live underground."
Female,"inhabitant: And the Dumblocks; stupid vicious brutes, who live underground.",Farnsworth,"Advanced in intellect, you say? Have you invented a backwards time machine?"
Farnsworth,"Advanced in intellect, you say? Have you invented a backwards time machine?",Female,"inhabitant: No, but if we apply our superior minds, we can perfect such a device within five years."
Female,"inhabitant: No, but if we apply our superior minds, we can perfect such a device within five years.",Farnsworth,See you then!
Farnsworth,See you then!,Bender,We're back for our time machine.
Bender,We're back for our time machine.,Farnsworth,"Yuhoo, boys! What's this era in human history like?"
Farnsworth,"Yuhoo, boys! What's this era in human history like?",Soldier,"#1: The... the machines, we built them to make our lives easier, but they rebelled. They won't stop until every human is dead."
Soldier,"#1: The... the machines, we built them to make our lives easier, but they rebelled. They won't stop until every human is dead.",Bender,This seems like a nice future. Let's just stay here. We can settle down on that mountain of skulls.
Bender,This seems like a nice future. Let's just stay here. We can settle down on that mountain of skulls.,Bender,Hey! That place had a gorgeous view of Blood Lake.
Bender,Hey! That place had a gorgeous view of Blood Lake.,Lady,"#1: Greetings, time travellers."
Lady,"#1: Greetings, time travellers.",Bender,Stupid jerks wouldn't let me stay in the good future.
Bender,Stupid jerks wouldn't let me stay in the good future.,Fry,How do you know we're time travellers?
Fry,How do you know we're time travellers?,Lady,#2: We too studied the time travel enigma.
Lady,#2: We too studied the time travel enigma.,Lady,#3: We have perfected a method using negative mass neutrino fields that allow us to travel backwards in time.
Lady,#3: We have perfected a method using negative mass neutrino fields that allow us to travel backwards in time.,Farnsworth,My name's Hubert.
Farnsworth,My name's Hubert.,Fry,All right! We can go home!
Fry,All right! We can go home!,Bender,Nah-nah! We can go...
Bender,Nah-nah! We can go...,Lady,"#1 Tonight, please be the guests of honour at our fertility banquet."
Lady,"#1 Tonight, please be the guests of honour at our fertility banquet.",Farnsworth,"Well, there is certainly no harm in a fertility banquet."
Farnsworth,"Well, there is certainly no harm in a fertility banquet.",Fry,I can eat. And fertilise.
Fry,I can eat. And fertilise.,Lady,"#1: Very well, let us anoint our guests in oil without using our hands."
Lady,"#1: Very well, let us anoint our guests in oil without using our hands.",Bender,"Oh, so we can stay in the future you like? But not the future I like? Next!"
Bender,"Oh, so we can stay in the future you like? But not the future I like? Next!",Farnsworth,No! I was about to close the deal.
Farnsworth,No! I was about to close the deal.,Fry,"Bender, they had a backwards time machine."
Fry,"Bender, they had a backwards time machine.",Bender,The other place had a lot of good things too. Did you even see that mountain of skulls?
Bender,The other place had a lot of good things too. Did you even see that mountain of skulls?,Farnsworth,Why you!
Farnsworth,Why you!,Bender,"Oh no, you didn't."
Bender,"Oh no, you didn't.",Fry,"Stop. Somewhere, some time, Leela's waiting for me. We need to keep looking for a backwards time machine."
Fry,"Stop. Somewhere, some time, Leela's waiting for me. We need to keep looking for a backwards time machine.",Farnsworth,Fry is right.
Farnsworth,Fry is right.,Bender,"Yes, we have to work together. Not have this fight which I was definitely winning."
Bender,"Yes, we have to work together. Not have this fight which I was definitely winning.",Farnsworth,The year one billion.
Farnsworth,The year one billion.,Farnsworth,"In fact, all life is extinct."
Farnsworth,"In fact, all life is extinct.",Fry,So let's keeping going forward.
Fry,So let's keeping going forward.,Farnsworth,"Oh, it's no use. Earth is dead. This is the end of all things."
Farnsworth,"Oh, it's no use. Earth is dead. This is the end of all things.",Fry,The Cavern on the Green.
Fry,The Cavern on the Green.,Fry,"I made it, Leela. Sorry, I'm a billion years late."
Fry,"I made it, Leela. Sorry, I'm a billion years late.",Old,"Leela: You'll get your alimony cheque, Cubert. Now get lost."
Old,"Leela: You'll get your alimony cheque, Cubert. Now get lost.",Old,"Cubert: Chill out, I'm just here to see Amy."
Old,"Cubert: Chill out, I'm just here to see Amy.",Old,"Amy: Move it, boy-toy. Granny's taking you to Atlantic City."
Old,"Amy: Move it, boy-toy. Granny's taking you to Atlantic City.",Old,Hermes: I don't know why you ever married that pig-nose punk.
Old,Hermes: I don't know why you ever married that pig-nose punk.,Old,"Leela How odd, it's one of those old record-your-own-message birthday cards."
Old,"Leela How odd, it's one of those old record-your-own-message birthday cards.",Fry,My card!
Fry,My card!,Old,Leela: My whole life I've been mad at him. And it wasn't his fault.
Old,Leela: My whole life I've been mad at him. And it wasn't his fault.,Leela,"Dear Fry, our time together was short, but it was the best time of my life."
Leela,"Dear Fry, our time together was short, but it was the best time of my life.",Fry,"You know, all in all, I had a good life. What you say the three of us grab a six pack and watch the universe end?"
Fry,"You know, all in all, I had a good life. What you say the three of us grab a six pack and watch the universe end?",Farnsworth,"Hear, hear!"
Farnsworth,"Hear, hear!",Bender,That's basically what I do every day.
Bender,That's basically what I do every day.,Fry,To the end of the universe.
Fry,To the end of the universe.,Fry,"So long, Earth. Thanks for the air and whatnot."
Fry,"So long, Earth. Thanks for the air and whatnot.",Fry,"Hey, uh, what was the purpose of life anyway?"
Fry,"Hey, uh, what was the purpose of life anyway?",Farnsworth,Who knows? Probably some hogwash about the human spirit.
Farnsworth,Who knows? Probably some hogwash about the human spirit.,Bender,Mm-hm.
Bender,Mm-hm.,Fry,Sounds about right.
Fry,Sounds about right.,Farnsworth,"The stars are receding. Oh, the vast emptiness."
Farnsworth,"The stars are receding. Oh, the vast emptiness.",Bender,"Yeah, yeah, I can take a hint."
Bender,"Yeah, yeah, I can take a hint.",Farnsworth,"Ah, the last proton should be decaying about now."
Farnsworth,"Ah, the last proton should be decaying about now.",Fry,"Bye, last proton."
Fry,"Bye, last proton.",Farnsworth,... here we are; the end of the universe.
Farnsworth,... here we are; the end of the universe.,Fry,"Well, now what? You guys wanna talk?"
Fry,"Well, now what? You guys wanna talk?",Bender,No thanks.
Bender,No thanks.,Fry,Did anyone else see that?
Fry,Did anyone else see that?,Farnsworth,"My God, is it possible?"
Farnsworth,"My God, is it possible?",Fry,"It must be possible. It's happening. By the way, what's happening?"
Fry,"It must be possible. It's happening. By the way, what's happening?",Farnsworth,"Ladies and gentlemen, the moon."
Farnsworth,"Ladies and gentlemen, the moon.",Fry,Look. The first fish to crawl up on land.
Fry,Look. The first fish to crawl up on land.,Bender,It was coming right at us.
Bender,It was coming right at us.,Bender,You saw it.
Bender,You saw it.,Fry,I'm gonna grab another beer.
Fry,I'm gonna grab another beer.,Bender,"Fry, Fry, you're missing the dinosaurs."
Bender,"Fry, Fry, you're missing the dinosaurs.",Fry,Where'd they go?
Fry,Where'd they go?,Bender,Now what's going on there?
Bender,Now what's going on there?,Fry,History.
Fry,History.,Farnsworth,"Hang on, I just want to make one stop."
Farnsworth,"Hang on, I just want to make one stop.",Hitler,Betrachten Sie meinen Schnurrbart.
Hitler,Betrachten Sie meinen Schnurrbart.,Farnsworth,Easy. Easy. Taking her in for a landing.
Farnsworth,Easy. Easy. Taking her in for a landing.,Farnsworth,Six months.
Farnsworth,Six months.,Fry,"I'm almost there, Leela."
Fry,"I'm almost there, Leela.",Farnsworth,Thirty seconds and here we—
Farnsworth,Thirty seconds and here we—,Fry,Stop!
Fry,Stop!,Bender,"Give me the keys, Magoo."
Bender,"Give me the keys, Magoo.",Farnsworth,We'll have to bring her around again.
Farnsworth,We'll have to bring her around again.,Farnsworth,Careful.
Farnsworth,Careful.,New,Farnsworth Get in.
New,Farnsworth Get in.,New,"Fry: Okay, hurry, let's get it over with."
New,"Fry: Okay, hurry, let's get it over with.",New,"Farnsworth: But, err, wha–?"
New,"Farnsworth: But, err, wha–?",Farnsworth,Oh uh.
Farnsworth,Oh uh.,Farnsworth,This new universe is about ten feet lower than our old one.
Farnsworth,This new universe is about ten feet lower than our old one.,Farnsworth,Pow. We took care of the time travel paradox.
Farnsworth,Pow. We took care of the time travel paradox.,Fry,All right!
Fry,All right!,Bender,Yabba dabba doo.
Bender,Yabba dabba doo.,Fry,"Oh uh, I'm late for dinner with Leela."
Fry,"Oh uh, I'm late for dinner with Leela.",Waiter,Welcome to Cavern on the Green. May I offer you some meatloaf while you wait?
Waiter,Welcome to Cavern on the Green. May I offer you some meatloaf while you wait?,Fry,"Sorry, I'm late."
Fry,"Sorry, I'm late.",Leela,"Actually, you're on time."
Leela,"Actually, you're on time.",Fry,Really?
Fry,Really?,Leela,"I have to admit, I was afraid you wouldn't make it."
Leela,"I have to admit, I was afraid you wouldn't make it.",Fry,That was the old Fry. He's dead now.
Fry,That was the old Fry. He's dead now.,Fry,"Happy birthday, Leela. I got you a card, but I guess I kinda lost it."
Fry,"Happy birthday, Leela. I got you a card, but I guess I kinda lost it.",Leela,That's okay. I don't really like cards. What I'll remember is our time together.
Leela,That's okay. I don't really like cards. What I'll remember is our time together.,Prof.,Farnsworth: Nice.
Prof.,Farnsworth: Nice.,Amy,"Leela, I am collecting data. Can't you dump that somewhere else?"
Amy,"Leela, I am collecting data. Can't you dump that somewhere else?",Amy,tomorrow and I've barely had time to prepare.
Amy,tomorrow and I've barely had time to prepare.,Farnsworth,Nonsense. You've been my grad student for twelve years. You were ready six years ago.
Farnsworth,Nonsense. You've been my grad student for twelve years. You were ready six years ago.,Amy,What?
Amy,What?,Farnsworth,"I probably should have told you. Anyway, the important thing is to be relaxed tomorrow."
Farnsworth,"I probably should have told you. Anyway, the important thing is to be relaxed tomorrow.",Amy,Are you sure?
Amy,Are you sure?,Farnsworth.,Wear a T-shirt and eat a fish stick. Go!
Farnsworth.,Wear a T-shirt and eat a fish stick. Go!,Amy,Hmmm. I guess I'm still kinda nervous.
Amy,Hmmm. I guess I'm still kinda nervous.,Nibbler,"Leela, it's time you and I had a talk."
Nibbler,"Leela, it's time you and I had a talk.",Leela,A talk? You can't break up with me. You're my pet!
Leela,A talk? You can't break up with me. You're my pet!,Nibbler,"As much as I enjoy being the object of your misplaced affections, I am also a highly sophisticated being who longs for intelligent conversation."
Nibbler,"As much as I enjoy being the object of your misplaced affections, I am also a highly sophisticated being who longs for intelligent conversation.",Leela,"Aw, is shnookums not feeling schtimuwated?"
Leela,"Aw, is shnookums not feeling schtimuwated?",Nibbler,"An understatement, to say the least. It's time you treated me with respect."
Nibbler,"An understatement, to say the least. It's time you treated me with respect.",Leela,"If you want to be treated like a fellow crew member, fine, but no more purse rides, and no more dressing you up in your cute little sailor suit."
Leela,"If you want to be treated like a fellow crew member, fine, but no more purse rides, and no more dressing you up in your cute little sailor suit.",Nibbler,"I keep telling you, that's my real naval uniform."
Nibbler,"I keep telling you, that's my real naval uniform.",Kif,Your place or mine?
Kif,Your place or mine?,Hedonism,Bot
Hedonism,Bot,Amy,I thought I set you for 7:15!
Amy,I thought I set you for 7:15!,Alarm,"Clock: Sorry, I hooked up with Bender last night. Dude was all over my snooze button."
Alarm,"Clock: Sorry, I hooked up with Bender last night. Dude was all over my snooze button.",Amy,"Eww! Kif, did you yack on the floor?"
Amy,"Eww! Kif, did you yack on the floor?",Kif,"Yes, I did."
Kif,"Yes, I did.",Morris,"Katz You're late, Miss Wong."
Morris,"Katz You're late, Miss Wong.",Farsnworth,Wernstrom!
Farsnworth,Wernstrom!,Shpeekenshpell,says... Moo.
Shpeekenshpell,says... Moo.,Farnsworth,"He proved that 50 years ago, and he's been coasting on it ever since."
Farnsworth,"He proved that 50 years ago, and he's been coasting on it ever since.","Katz,",and you are wasting my time. Proceed.
"Katz,",and you are wasting my time. Proceed.,Amy,"Imagine, if you will..."
Amy,"Imagine, if you will...",Katz,"Oh, God!"
Katz,"Oh, God!",Wermstrom,"Young lady, have you been drinking?"
Wermstrom,"Young lady, have you been drinking?",Amy,is the whole world.
Amy,is the whole world.,Tate,"To many young men in the inner city, it is."
Tate,"To many young men in the inner city, it is.",Farnsworth,"Yes, tapping the Earth's ener-kerchoo. Go on."
Farnsworth,"Yes, tapping the Earth's ener-kerchoo. Go on.",Amy,"to cats. Professor Katz, would you mind."
Amy,"to cats. Professor Katz, would you mind.",Katz,"Miss Wong, I mind everything."
Katz,"Miss Wong, I mind everything.",Amy,Sorry.
Amy,Sorry.,Katz,Enough. The committee members will now vote yea or nay. Nay.
Katz,Enough. The committee members will now vote yea or nay. Nay.,Wernstrom,Nay.
Wernstrom,Nay.,Tate,Hell nay.
Tate,Hell nay.,Nibbler,"Now that I'm a full and equal member of the crew, I pledge my loyalty, my perspicacity, and, dare I say it, my friendship."
Nibbler,"Now that I'm a full and equal member of the crew, I pledge my loyalty, my perspicacity, and, dare I say it, my friendship.",Hermes,"Hey, look, a kitty cat."
Hermes,"Hey, look, a kitty cat.",Fry,Over here. I wanna hold him.
Fry,Over here. I wanna hold him.,Bender,Aw! Its anus looks like an asterisk.
Bender,Aw! Its anus looks like an asterisk.,Nibbler,in that uniform. I hate that cat!
Nibbler,in that uniform. I hate that cat!,Amy,"If I had a spray bottle, I'd give him such a spritzing."
Amy,"If I had a spray bottle, I'd give him such a spritzing.",Nibbler,"Powder, please."
Nibbler,"Powder, please.",Amy,Here's my new theory. That is one adorable cat.
Amy,Here's my new theory. That is one adorable cat.,Amy,The cat is evil! We have proof!
Amy,The cat is evil! We have proof!,Nibbler,It was summoning a saucer!
Nibbler,It was summoning a saucer!,Nibbler,"You fool, this isn't about the cream."
Nibbler,"You fool, this isn't about the cream.",Fry,Just stwoke its fwffy fur.
Fry,Just stwoke its fwffy fur.,Hermes,Scwatch its fwubby chin.
Hermes,Scwatch its fwubby chin.,Bender,Fweeble its fwooby pwow.
Bender,Fweeble its fwooby pwow.,Bender,"Where do you think you're going, no-cat?"
Bender,"Where do you think you're going, no-cat?",Amy,table on.
Amy,table on.,Nibbler,Can you at least tell us what's going on down there?
Nibbler,Can you at least tell us what's going on down there?,Amy,Professor Katz's last name is Katz. Do you think he has something to do with these cats?
Amy,Professor Katz's last name is Katz. Do you think he has something to do with these cats?,Amy,He's dead!
Amy,He's dead!,Nibbler,What the... He isn't dead. He's one of those dog-operated puppets that's been adapted for use by a cat!
Nibbler,What the... He isn't dead. He's one of those dog-operated puppets that's been adapted for use by a cat!,Amy,Bad kitty!
Amy,Bad kitty!,Amy,Uh-oh.
Amy,Uh-oh.,Thubanian,"Leader: Well, look what the me dragged in."
Thubanian,"Leader: Well, look what the me dragged in.",Nibbler,You can talk!
Nibbler,You can talk!,Thubanian,Leader: You can talk?
Thubanian,Leader: You can talk?,Nibbler,How ironic. Two hyper-intelligent beings both pretending to be simple house pets!
Nibbler,How ironic. Two hyper-intelligent beings both pretending to be simple house pets!,Thubanian,"Leader? He pretends to be a hamster, but..."
Thubanian,"Leader? He pretends to be a hamster, but...",Amy,"Yeah, that's really great. Could you please tell us what's going on?"
Amy,"Yeah, that's really great. Could you please tell us what's going on?",Thubanian,Leader
Thubanian,Leader,Nibbler,Earth!
Nibbler,Earth!,Thubanian,Leader
Thubanian,Leader,Thubanian,"Leader But the technology to save our planet was lost. Lost, that is, until I heard you speak at Mars University."
Thubanian,"Leader But the technology to save our planet was lost. Lost, that is, until I heard you speak at Mars University.",Amy,"So you called my thesis a fat sack of barf, and then you stole it?"
Amy,"So you called my thesis a fat sack of barf, and then you stole it?",Thubanian,Leader: Welcome to Academia.
Thubanian,Leader: Welcome to Academia.,Nibbler,He intends to siphon off Earth's rotational energy!
Nibbler,He intends to siphon off Earth's rotational energy!,Amy,"Earth will come to a stop, and..."
Amy,"Earth will come to a stop, and...",Thubanian,Leader. We just got that commercial last year.
Thubanian,Leader. We just got that commercial last year.,Thubanian,Leader: Quite.
Thubanian,Leader: Quite.,Nibbler,to trigger the process.
Nibbler,to trigger the process.,Thubanian,Leader: Ever had a cat rub up against you?
Thubanian,Leader: Ever had a cat rub up against you?,Nibbler,"If you're propositioning me, I'm not interested."
Nibbler,"If you're propositioning me, I'm not interested.",Thubanian,"Leader: I'm talking about the charge generated when 50,000 felines rub against a single surface. Professor?"
Thubanian,"Leader: I'm talking about the charge generated when 50,000 felines rub against a single surface. Professor?",Thubanian,Leader
Thubanian,Leader,Thubanian,Leader
Thubanian,Leader,Thubanian,"Leader: Mr. Winkles, Smudge-Smudge. Quick, dance with each other."
Thubanian,"Leader: Mr. Winkles, Smudge-Smudge. Quick, dance with each other.",Nibbler,"Damn, they are good."
Nibbler,"Damn, they are good.",Thubanian,"Leader: We're coming to a full stop. All cats, to your posts!"
Thubanian,"Leader: We're coming to a full stop. All cats, to your posts!",Calculon,Cut! That extra looked at the camera. We'll have to do it again.
Calculon,Cut! That extra looked at the camera. We'll have to do it again.,Thubanian,Leader
Thubanian,Leader,Nibbler,You were all under the spell of those obnoxious space cats.
Nibbler,You were all under the spell of those obnoxious space cats.,Thubanian,Leader
Thubanian,Leader,Hermes,"It won't turn. Push harder, Bender!"
Hermes,"It won't turn. Push harder, Bender!",Bender,"I can't. You should have called my cousin, Turner."
Bender,"I can't. You should have called my cousin, Turner.",Amy,It's hopeless. Even in theory the device can only apply force in one direction.
Amy,It's hopeless. Even in theory the device can only apply force in one direction.,Fry,Can someone open a window? It's getting a little warm in here.
Fry,Can someone open a window? It's getting a little warm in here.,Bender,Is that better?
Bender,Is that better?,"Amy,",it's hot! Why'd I have to invent that awful device?
"Amy,",it's hot! Why'd I have to invent that awful device?,Amy,"That's it! Pushing forward! Professor, I know how to restart the Earth."
Amy,"That's it! Pushing forward! Professor, I know how to restart the Earth.",Farnsworth,That's it. I'll assemble your committee!
Farnsworth,That's it. I'll assemble your committee!,Amy,Earth would start turning again.
Amy,Earth would start turning again.,Amy,So?
Amy,So?,Tate,let's get this globe trotting.
Tate,let's get this globe trotting.,Amy,It's working! Just a little faster!
Amy,It's working! Just a little faster!,Zoidberg,here!
Zoidberg,here!,Thubanian,Leader
Thubanian,Leader,Farnsworth,"And though the world is now spinning in the wrong direction, it's good enough. Well done, Amy."
Farnsworth,"And though the world is now spinning in the wrong direction, it's good enough. Well done, Amy.",Tate,"Also, some kind of sportsmanship award I had in my glove compartment."
Tate,"Also, some kind of sportsmanship award I had in my glove compartment.",Amy,Yay! I'm finally done with school. How's the job market?
Amy,Yay! I'm finally done with school. How's the job market?,Shpeekenshpell,Ruff!
Shpeekenshpell,Ruff!,Farnsworth,"Congratulations, Dr. Wong!"
Farnsworth,"Congratulations, Dr. Wong!",Kif,Congratulations.
Kif,Congratulations.,Nibbler,Permission to come aboard?
Nibbler,Permission to come aboard?,Farnsworth,"You've got a bright future, Amy. As sure as the Sun sets in the east."
Farnsworth,"You've got a bright future, Amy. As sure as the Sun sets in the east.",Prof.,Farnsworth?
Prof.,Farnsworth?,Cubert,flyers.
Cubert,flyers.,Farnsworth,Yes. The science mobile!
Farnsworth,Yes. The science mobile!,Leela,"It's just that you've never called it that before, but okay."
Leela,"It's just that you've never called it that before, but okay.",Woman,"I don't understand evolution, and I have to protect my kids from understanding it! We will not give in to the thinkers!"
Woman,"I don't understand evolution, and I have to protect my kids from understanding it! We will not give in to the thinkers!",Farnsworth,trucks and go home!
Farnsworth,trucks and go home!,Hydroponic,"farmer That is an insultingly accurate stereotype, sir!"
Hydroponic,"farmer That is an insultingly accurate stereotype, sir!",Farnsworth,"As a professor of science, I assure you that we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey-men."
Farnsworth,"As a professor of science, I assure you that we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey-men.",Dr.,"Banjo. Hard-working, patriotic orangutans."
Dr.,"Banjo. Hard-working, patriotic orangutans.",Farnsworth,Dr. Banjo?
Farnsworth,Dr. Banjo?,Dr.,Banjo.
Dr.,Banjo.,Flying,Spaghetti Monster?
Flying,Spaghetti Monster?,Farnsworth,Yes!
Farnsworth,Yes!,Banjo.,"All life was created in its present form seven thousand years ago, by a fantastical creature from outer space!"
Banjo.,"All life was created in its present form seven thousand years ago, by a fantastical creature from outer space!",Farnsworth,Bunk!
Farnsworth,Bunk!,Farnsworth,"Okay, granted, that one missing link is still missing, but just because we haven't found it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!"
Farnsworth,"Okay, granted, that one missing link is still missing, but just because we haven't found it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!",Banjo,Things don't exist simply because you believe in them. Thus sayeth the Almighty Creature in the Sky!
Banjo,Things don't exist simply because you believe in them. Thus sayeth the Almighty Creature in the Sky!,"Farnsworth-swilling,",poop-slinger! We just need to find that last missing link.
"Farnsworth-swilling,",poop-slinger! We just need to find that last missing link.,Fry,"Did you find something, Hermes?"
Fry,"Did you find something, Hermes?",Amy,I hate chiseling right after a manicure. Oh! Darn it! I broke off one of my fingers!
Amy,I hate chiseling right after a manicure. Oh! Darn it! I broke off one of my fingers!,Zoidberg,"What, too soon?"
Zoidberg,"What, too soon?",Cubert,has access to neckwear.
Cubert,has access to neckwear.,Zoidberg,I knew I should have gone with the ring-around-the-collar joke.
Zoidberg,I knew I should have gone with the ring-around-the-collar joke.,Farnsworth,"That's a bedspring, you dumb bedspring! There are no robot fossils!"
Farnsworth,"That's a bedspring, you dumb bedspring! There are no robot fossils!",Bender,What? Who says I didn't evolve?
Bender,What? Who says I didn't evolve?,Farnsworth,Everybody! Robots were created quite recently. It was in all the papers.
Farnsworth,Everybody! Robots were created quite recently. It was in all the papers.,Farnsworth,"It's the elusive missing missing link! This will show Banjo, once and for all!"
Farnsworth,"It's the elusive missing missing link! This will show Banjo, once and for all!",Fry,What the...
Fry,What the...,Bender,"Hmm, my tux doesn't fit. Probably because I've grown so much since I last wore it, or evolved, one might say."
Bender,"Hmm, my tux doesn't fit. Probably because I've grown so much since I last wore it, or evolved, one might say.",Farnsworth,say that! Your tux doesn't fit because you stole it from a boy!
Farnsworth,say that! Your tux doesn't fit because you stole it from a boy!,Ben,Beeler
Ben,Beeler,Zoidberg,He's good.
Zoidberg,He's good.,Farnsworth,"Once again, science saves the day. The end."
Farnsworth,"Once again, science saves the day. The end.",Beeler,"And now, to discuss the scientific implications of this discovery, our new museum curator, Dr. Banjo!"
Beeler,"And now, to discuss the scientific implications of this discovery, our new museum curator, Dr. Banjo!",Banjo,frolicking with dinosaurs at the moment of creation.
Banjo,frolicking with dinosaurs at the moment of creation.,Farnsworth,I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Farnsworth,I don't want to live on this planet anymore.,Farnsworth,over there.
Farnsworth,over there.,Leela,"Wow, this planetoid is completely lifeless."
Leela,"Wow, this planetoid is completely lifeless.",Farnsworth,Not lifeless enough! Set up my shack so that I can kick you out of it!
Farnsworth,Not lifeless enough! Set up my shack so that I can kick you out of it!,Fry,What's in the tube?
Fry,What's in the tube?,Farnsworth,They're tiny robots I designed to eat up nasty irritants.
Farnsworth,They're tiny robots I designed to eat up nasty irritants.,Fry,"Speaking of nasty irritants, what's going to become of Cubert?"
Fry,"Speaking of nasty irritants, what's going to become of Cubert?",Farnsworth,"Who? Oh, my son. Don't worry, he's been safely abandoned with his godfather."
Farnsworth,"Who? Oh, my son. Don't worry, he's been safely abandoned with his godfather.",Zoidberg,and boiled them up for lunch.
Zoidberg,and boiled them up for lunch.,Cubert,Why don't you just go to Hell!
Cubert,Why don't you just go to Hell!,Zoidberg,Wait! We still have to discuss the facts of life. What are they?
Zoidberg,Wait! We still have to discuss the facts of life. What are they?,Hermes.,Now can we have our pizza?
Hermes.,Now can we have our pizza?,Farnsworth,as my milkman-trusting father. But what's this? The Nanobots have gotten more complex.
Farnsworth,as my milkman-trusting father. But what's this? The Nanobots have gotten more complex.,Bender,"What's that you say? Those robots have evolved all by themselves, you say?"
Bender,"What's that you say? Those robots have evolved all by themselves, you say?",Farnsworth,It wasn't by themselves! I put them there. I'm a genius. Get over it!
Farnsworth,It wasn't by themselves! I put them there. I'm a genius. Get over it!,Leela,"Oh, no! My sunglasses were in there!"
Leela,"Oh, no! My sunglasses were in there!",Leela,Does anyone have a lighter?
Leela,Does anyone have a lighter?,Leela,"Okay, we've got shelter and just enough precious food to ward off starvation."
Leela,"Okay, we've got shelter and just enough precious food to ward off starvation.",Zoidberg,This is Father-Man. He fights crime to earn Son-Boy's respect. Is it working?
Zoidberg,This is Father-Man. He fights crime to earn Son-Boy's respect. Is it working?,Cubert?,I could make a better mural with my butt!
Cubert?,I could make a better mural with my butt!,Hermes,Nothing like a cave for a good night's sleep. So what do we have to eat that's not poisoned with pineapple?
Hermes,Nothing like a cave for a good night's sleep. So what do we have to eat that's not poisoned with pineapple?,Leela,Go! Go! Hit anything that moves!
Leela,Go! Go! Hit anything that moves!,Fry,Whoa.
Fry,Whoa.,Bender,Wow.
Bender,Wow.,Amy,A whole forest grew overnight.
Amy,A whole forest grew overnight.,Farnsworth,All these trees are robotic. I can't believe how quickly they sprung up.
Farnsworth,All these trees are robotic. I can't believe how quickly they sprung up.,Bender,I can. Robots do everything faster. Including evolving and believing how quickly things spring up.
Bender,I can. Robots do everything faster. Including evolving and believing how quickly things spring up.,Fry,Help! Police!
Fry,Help! Police!,Amy,Look out for the next thing!
Amy,Look out for the next thing!,Farnsworth,"Great Scott, a Tricycle-tops!"
Farnsworth,"Great Scott, a Tricycle-tops!",Fry,This is a cool way to die!
Fry,This is a cool way to die!,Zoidberg,Go on.
Zoidberg,Go on.,Cubert,It's just that I get bullied a lot. I guess I kinda make fun of people as a defense mechanism.
Cubert,It's just that I get bullied a lot. I guess I kinda make fun of people as a defense mechanism.,Brett,Blob
Brett,Blob,Cubert?,She's coming over for a sex visit.
Cubert?,She's coming over for a sex visit.,Brett,"The pee-babies peed themselves. I'm off to pottery class, dorkwads."
Brett,"The pee-babies peed themselves. I'm off to pottery class, dorkwads.",Zoidberg,And that's that.
Zoidberg,And that's that.,Zoidberg,with a footprint on it.
Zoidberg,with a footprint on it.,Fry,Ah! Don't eat my butt!
Fry,Ah! Don't eat my butt!,Leela,"on my balcony, we've got our work cut out for us."
Leela,"on my balcony, we've got our work cut out for us.",Amy,happened?
Amy,happened?,Farnsworth,"that while harmless to organic life, short-circuited the robo-dinosaurs."
Farnsworth,"that while harmless to organic life, short-circuited the robo-dinosaurs.",Farnsworth-like,robots cowering in caves could survive such a catastrophe.
Farnsworth-like,robots cowering in caves could survive such a catastrophe.,Farnsworth,"Wait a moment. If we could scavenge the right parts from these robo-dinos, I might be able to construct a rudimentary spaceship to get us off this planet!"
Farnsworth,"Wait a moment. If we could scavenge the right parts from these robo-dinos, I might be able to construct a rudimentary spaceship to get us off this planet!",Farnsworth,"Now let's go... to sleep. It's solar powered, so we can't take off until sunrise."
Farnsworth,"Now let's go... to sleep. It's solar powered, so we can't take off until sunrise.",Hermes,Sweet robot swan of Botswana!
Hermes,Sweet robot swan of Botswana!,Bender,"Looks like the fittest did a little surviving last night, huh?"
Bender,"Looks like the fittest did a little surviving last night, huh?",Farnsworth,Whatever.
Farnsworth,Whatever.,Hermes,Those robo-cavemen have kidnapped our human regular-women!
Hermes,Those robo-cavemen have kidnapped our human regular-women!,Amy,"I think they want wives, so just play along. If it doesn't work out, we'll still get half their rocks."
Amy,"I think they want wives, so just play along. If it doesn't work out, we'll still get half their rocks.",Leela,"I can earn my own rocks! Also, I don't want any rocks!"
Leela,"I can earn my own rocks! Also, I don't want any rocks!",Farnsworth,"Well, it took almost twelve hours, but it's finished."
Farnsworth,"Well, it took almost twelve hours, but it's finished.",Fry,What's going on? How did we save you?
Fry,What's going on? How did we save you?,Amy,"It was the weirdest thing. We went to sleep, and when we woke up, our cave husbands were gone."
Amy,"It was the weirdest thing. We went to sleep, and when we woke up, our cave husbands were gone.",Leela,I'm gonna miss Spencer.
Leela,I'm gonna miss Spencer.,Dr.,Widnar
Dr.,Widnar,Fry,Nice net.
Fry,Nice net.,Widnar,You... you can speak?
Widnar,You... you can speak?,Hermes,Dread my locks! A fully-evolved robot human.
Hermes,Dread my locks! A fully-evolved robot human.,Widnar,"I'm Dr. Widnar, a naturalist."
Widnar,"I'm Dr. Widnar, a naturalist.",Bender,"And I'm Bender, baby. My human slaves and I come from a planet where organic life and robotic life evolved side by side."
Bender,"And I'm Bender, baby. My human slaves and I come from a planet where organic life and robotic life evolved side by side.",Farnsworth,"Oh, shut up!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, shut up!",Widnar,"I've theorized that carbon-based, fat-filled life could exist, but until today, I never had any proof."
Widnar,"I've theorized that carbon-based, fat-filled life could exist, but until today, I never had any proof.",Farnsworth,"Thank you. I must say, I'm so proud to see what you've blossomed into since I first created your ancestors."
Farnsworth,"Thank you. I must say, I'm so proud to see what you've blossomed into since I first created your ancestors.",Widnar,What?
Widnar,What?,Farnsworth,I thought you knew. You all evolved from some filth-gobbling Nanobots I designed. I dumped them in one of your ponds a few days ago.
Farnsworth,I thought you knew. You all evolved from some filth-gobbling Nanobots I designed. I dumped them in one of your ponds a few days ago.,Widnar,But this is Creationist talk!
Widnar,But this is Creationist talk!,Robot,Farnsworth: He speaks lies! The Earth was created in eons not days.
Robot,Farnsworth: He speaks lies! The Earth was created in eons not days.,Robo-Police,You're under arrest for crimes against science.
Robo-Police,You're under arrest for crimes against science.,Farnsworth,No! Could you drag me by the restroom?
Farnsworth,No! Could you drag me by the restroom?,Robot,Go back to Roboklahoma!
Robot,Go back to Roboklahoma!,Superior,"Gort Judge, the alleged creationist faces a sentence of death by melting. Who is representing the accused?"
Superior,"Gort Judge, the alleged creationist faces a sentence of death by melting. Who is representing the accused?",Leela,I am...
Leela,I am...,Farnsworth,"Bender, what the Hell are you doing?"
Farnsworth,"Bender, what the Hell are you doing?",Bender,Ladytrons and gentlebots...
Bender,Ladytrons and gentlebots...,Superior,"Gort Prosecutor: Objection. In the absence of pants, defense's suspenders serve no purpose."
Superior,"Gort Prosecutor: Objection. In the absence of pants, defense's suspenders serve no purpose.",Superior,"Gort Judge: I'm going to allow them, for now."
Superior,"Gort Judge: I'm going to allow them, for now.",Farnsworth,"Objection, I'm not crazy! I created you all and I came here in a homemade spaceship and lived in a cave. If you don't believe me, ask my uncle."
Farnsworth,"Objection, I'm not crazy! I created you all and I came here in a homemade spaceship and lived in a cave. If you don't believe me, ask my uncle.",Superior,"Gort Judge: Prosecutor, your opening statement?"
Superior,"Gort Judge: Very well, we will reconvene when the jury reaches a verdict.",Bender,"Son, you in a whole mess of trouble."
Bender,"Son, you in a whole mess of trouble.",Superior,Gort Judge: Has the jury reached a verdict?
Superior,Gort Judge: Has the jury reached a verdict?,Robotic,gas forms
Robotic,gas forms,Bender,"That'll be $10,000."
Bender,"That'll be $10,000.",Banjo,"Well, digital photographs don't lie. I admit that what you witnessed may have been some form of evolution."
Banjo,"Well, digital photographs don't lie. I admit that what you witnessed may have been some form of evolution.",Farnsworth,"I'm glad you agree, Dr. Banjo."
Farnsworth,"I'm glad you agree, Dr. Banjo.",Banjo,Evolution set into motion by a wise and all-knowing Creator. You.
Banjo,Evolution set into motion by a wise and all-knowing Creator. You.,Farnsworth,"Well I don't know about all-knowing. And I admit it's possible, however unlikely, that some wise and all-knowing alien monster set evolution in motion here on Earth."
Farnsworth,"Well I don't know about all-knowing. And I admit it's possible, however unlikely, that some wise and all-knowing alien monster set evolution in motion here on Earth.",Bender,And the Creator could also be a robot.
Bender,And the Creator could also be a robot.,Farnsworth,Then who built this so-called Creator-robot?
Farnsworth,Then who built this so-called Creator-robot?,Bender,I guess that would be stupid. Never mind.
Bender,I guess that would be stupid. Never mind.,Farnsworth,"Then it's settled. Finally, a world in which I'm happy to raise my son!"
Farnsworth,"Then it's settled. Finally, a world in which I'm happy to raise my son!",Zoidberg,"Good, cause I'm sick of him!"
Zoidberg,"Good, cause I'm sick of him!",Zoidberg,I'm serious. He's a terrible person.
Zoidberg,I'm serious. He's a terrible person.,Linda,"Tonight, at 11:00."
Linda,"Tonight, at 11:00.",Morbo,Doom!
Morbo,Doom!,"Leela,",is my colossal eye too big?
"Leela,",is my colossal eye too big?,Fry,"No, it's what makes you you."
Fry,"No, it's what makes you you.",Leela,"But it's so round, so hideously round."
Leela,"But it's so round, so hideously round.",Fry,"Leela, listen. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever known."
Fry,"Leela, listen. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever known.",Leela,Oh. So you only care about my looks?
Leela,Oh. So you only care about my looks?,Fry,"No, I.... What?"
Fry,"No, I.... What?",Nikolai,"I'm just a humble emperor, with a big, big crown!"
Nikolai,"I'm just a humble emperor, with a big, big crown!",Bender,Of course I'm not planning to steal that crown!
Bender,Of course I'm not planning to steal that crown!,Leela,What?
Leela,What?,"Bender,",and then forever. But heisting those jewels would be difficult.
"Bender,",and then forever. But heisting those jewels would be difficult.,Leela,You'd be stupid to try.
Leela,You'd be stupid to try.,Bender,I'll need accomplices. A sexy vamp to distract and tie up the guard.
Bender,I'll need accomplices. A sexy vamp to distract and tie up the guard.,Bender,A claw man to slip past the metal detector and cut the alarm wires.
Bender,A claw man to slip past the metal detector and cut the alarm wires.,Bender,"And finally, a chump, to be caught on video and later arrested."
Bender,"And finally, a chump, to be caught on video and later arrested.",Fry,"As I told you on Sucker-Punch Day, I'm through being a chump."
Fry,"As I told you on Sucker-Punch Day, I'm through being a chump.",Amy,"Good, I'm sick of cleaning up those heaps of dead monkeys. But why would you want your mind in a new body?"
Amy,"Good, I'm sick of cleaning up those heaps of dead monkeys. But why would you want your mind in a new body?",Farnsworth,"Well, as a man enters his 18th decade, he thinks back on the mistakes he's made in life."
Farnsworth,"Well, as a man enters his 18th decade, he thinks back on the mistakes he's made in life.",Amy,Like the heaps of dead monkeys?
Amy,Like the heaps of dead monkeys?,Farnsworth,"Science cannot move forward without heaps! No, what I regret is the youth I wasted playing it safe."
Farnsworth,"Science cannot move forward without heaps! No, what I regret is the youth I wasted playing it safe.",Amy,I wasted my youth porking out.
Amy,I wasted my youth porking out.,Amy,Would you please take that down? It's making me hungry.
Amy,Would you please take that down? It's making me hungry.,Farnsworth,"Wait a second, if we switch bodies, I could live life to the extreme, and you could indulge your demonic food lust."
Farnsworth,"Wait a second, if we switch bodies, I could live life to the extreme, and you could indulge your demonic food lust.",Amy,"Wait, can I still change my mind?"
Amy,"Wait, can I still change my mind?",Farnsworth,"I'm sorry, Amy, but your body is not up to the task. Also, I don't care for these boobs flapping every which way. Now quit your bologna-gargling and let's switch back to our original bodies."
Farnsworth,"I'm sorry, Amy, but your body is not up to the task. Also, I don't care for these boobs flapping every which way. Now quit your bologna-gargling and let's switch back to our original bodies.",Bender,"Body switcher, eh? Mayhap the heist is back on. Who needs accomplices, if I can just use their bodies."
Bender,"Body switcher, eh? Mayhap the heist is back on. Who needs accomplices, if I can just use their bodies.",Amy,"Professor, what's not happening?"
Amy,"Professor, what's not happening?",Farnsworth,I failed to take into account the cerebral immune response.
Farnsworth,I failed to take into account the cerebral immune response.,Amy,You idiot!
Amy,You idiot!,Farnsworth,"However, perhaps they can. Maybe we can swap back using a third body for temporary storage space."
Farnsworth,"However, perhaps they can. Maybe we can swap back using a third body for temporary storage space.",Amy,See ya!
Amy,See ya!,Farnsworth,"Now then, Amy, we'll simply switch bodies, and then we'll... we'll... No, I'd be back in my body, but then you and Bender would be switched. And the Amy and Bender bodies can't trade minds again, since they just did."
Farnsworth,"Now then, Amy, we'll simply switch bodies, and then we'll... we'll... No, I'd be back in my body, but then you and Bender would be switched. And the Amy and Bender bodies can't trade minds again, since they just did.",Amy,Oh no! Is it possible to get everyone back to normal using four or more bodies?
Amy,Oh no! Is it possible to get everyone back to normal using four or more bodies?,Bender,Four seconds?
Bender,Four seconds?,Basil,Who goes there?
Basil,Who goes there?,Bender,"I said, Wow chica wow wow."
Bender,"I said, Wow chica wow wow.",Leela,"Professor, what's the matter."
Leela,"Professor, what's the matter.",Amy,I'm Amy. The Professor and I switched bodies.
Amy,I'm Amy. The Professor and I switched bodies.,Leela,"Oh, lord."
Leela,"Oh, lord.",Amy,"All I wanted was to gorge myself a little, but I can't digest anything with these false teeth and this hit-or-miss colon."
Amy,"All I wanted was to gorge myself a little, but I can't digest anything with these false teeth and this hit-or-miss colon.",Amy,"If you want to save $2, we could switch bodies."
Amy,"If you want to save $2, we could switch bodies.",Fry,"Hey, Leela. Mmm. What smells saturated?"
Fry,"Hey, Leela. Mmm. What smells saturated?",Fry,Woah. That sounds like something Amy would say and eat.
Fry,Woah. That sounds like something Amy would say and eat.,Leela,Aha! You do only like me for my body.
Leela,Aha! You do only like me for my body.,Fry,"That is entirely not true, sir!"
Fry,"That is entirely not true, sir!",Bender,"Uh, could you come back when my chump gets here?"
Bender,"Uh, could you come back when my chump gets here?",Nikolai,"Now then, what is a filthy human doing aboard my royal yacht?"
Nikolai,"Now then, what is a filthy human doing aboard my royal yacht?",Bender,"With all due respect, Your Majesty, I'm a robot like you. I just switch bodies with some bimbo. Go ahead, ask me something only a robot would know."
Bender,"With all due respect, Your Majesty, I'm a robot like you. I just switch bodies with some bimbo. Go ahead, ask me something only a robot would know.","Nikolai,",eh? Very good. What is the square root of nine?
"Nikolai,",eh? Very good. What is the square root of nine?,Basil,He steps forwards but moves backwards.
Basil,He steps forwards but moves backwards.,Nikolai,By the gods! he is a machine!
Nikolai,By the gods! he is a machine!,Farnsworth,"No, that won't restore everyone, either. Besides, I don't want my decrepit old body back! I'm running away with this invincible robot body and joining something!"
Farnsworth,"No, that won't restore everyone, either. Besides, I don't want my decrepit old body back! I'm running away with this invincible robot body and joining something!",Fishy,"Joe: I paid for 15 Robot Clowns per cubic meter of car, and you're barely giving me 12. Now crumple up and get in... And fasten your seat belts."
Fishy,"Joe: I paid for 15 Robot Clowns per cubic meter of car, and you're barely giving me 12. Now crumple up and get in... And fasten your seat belts.",Robot,"Clown: Oh, come on!"
Robot,"Clown: Oh, come on!",Farnsworth,"Good day. I am Nonchalanto, the robot daredevil. And my dream is to risk my life in strange and original ways."
Farnsworth,"Good day. I am Nonchalanto, the robot daredevil. And my dream is to risk my life in strange and original ways.",Fishy,Joe: Hmm. You don't look so foolhardy to me.
Fishy,Joe: Hmm. You don't look so foolhardy to me.,Fishy,Joe
Fishy,Joe,Nikolai,with a human peasant roommate?
Nikolai,with a human peasant roommate?,Bender,"Oh, crap, that is what I am!"
Bender,"Oh, crap, that is what I am!",Princess,Flavia: Hello.
Princess,Flavia: Hello.,Nikolai,physicist.
Nikolai,physicist.,Nikolai,"Oh, to escape this gilded cage for a day."
Nikolai,"Oh, to escape this gilded cage for a day.",Bender,Or more. Much more.
Bender,Or more. Much more.,Nikolai,"In that horrible non-robot body. Sir, I have my standards."
Nikolai,"In that horrible non-robot body. Sir, I have my standards.",Bender,"Ah, but what if I could put you in my fabulous bending-robot body?"
Bender,"Ah, but what if I could put you in my fabulous bending-robot body?",Nikolai,tomorrow. Can I trust you to do it?
Nikolai,tomorrow. Can I trust you to do it?,Bender,You can trust anything.
Bender,You can trust anything.,Fry;,So now Leela's all crotchety because she thinks I'm not attracted to her in the Professor's body.
Fry;,So now Leela's all crotchety because she thinks I'm not attracted to her in the Professor's body.,Hermes,"You aren't, are you?"
Hermes,"You aren't, are you?",Fry,Of course not! But I was willing to lie about it. What more can a man do?
Fry,Of course not! But I was willing to lie about it. What more can a man do?,Hermes,A man can give her a toke of her own medicine.
Hermes,A man can give her a toke of her own medicine.,Fry,"Yes! I can put my mind in a hideous body and show Leela she's not attracted to me. But it would have to be a really, really disgusting body."
Fry,"Yes! I can put my mind in a hideous body and show Leela she's not attracted to me. But it would have to be a really, really disgusting body.",Hermes,The long search is over.
Hermes,The long search is over.,Bender,Wait here and earn interest while I find my robot body.
Bender,Wait here and earn interest while I find my robot body.,Bender,Professor?
Bender,Professor?,Leela,Leela. Amy?
Leela,Leela. Amy?,Bender,Bender. Have you seen my body? I think the Professor's in it.
Bender,Bender. Have you seen my body? I think the Professor's in it.,Leela,"Yeah, he said something about running away. Then he ran away."
Leela,"Yeah, he said something about running away. Then he ran away.",Bender,What? Wither?
Bender,What? Wither?,Bender,"What am I gonna do? I got an emperor all patsied up to switch bodies, but only with another robot!"
Bender,"What am I gonna do? I got an emperor all patsied up to switch bodies, but only with another robot!",Wash,bucket: Wash bucket full.
Wash,bucket: Wash bucket full.,Bender,Now to find Emperor Von Richendoof.
Bender,Now to find Emperor Von Richendoof.,Wash,bucket
Wash,bucket,Nikolai,"If you're a bender, why is your body full of fetid water?"
Nikolai,"If you're a bender, why is your body full of fetid water?",Bender,"Well, so long."
Bender,"Well, so long.",Nikolai,Wait! Point me to my normal human roommate!
Nikolai,Wait! Point me to my normal human roommate!,Bender,Got to go!
Bender,Got to go!,Zoidberg,Robot?
Zoidberg,Robot?,Nikolai,"Yes, 'tis I, Bender. Do you not recognize your own best friend?"
Nikolai,"Yes, 'tis I, Bender. Do you not recognize your own best friend?",Leela,"But then Nicolas Cage discovered that the real treasure was his family. Yes, I'll hold."
Leela,"But then Nicolas Cage discovered that the real treasure was his family. Yes, I'll hold.",Fry,"Hey, Leela, look! I'm in Zoidberg."
Fry,"Hey, Leela, look! I'm in Zoidberg.",Leela,Fry?
Leela,Fry?,Leela,"Amy, stop it! Fry, help! She's turning me into a parade float!"
Leela,"Amy, stop it! Fry, help! She's turning me into a parade float!",Leela,Oh. So you're so shallow that my body disgusts you if it puts on a little extra weight?
Leela,Oh. So you're so shallow that my body disgusts you if it puts on a little extra weight?,Fry,That wasn't a little extra weight.
Fry,That wasn't a little extra weight.,Leela,Admit it! You don't care about the inner me at all!
Leela,Admit it! You don't care about the inner me at all!,Fry,"No, you admit it! You'd be ashamed to be seen in public with someone as hideous as me!"
Fry,"No, you admit it! You'd be ashamed to be seen in public with someone as hideous as me!",Leela,Would not!
Leela,Would not!,Fry,tonight.
Fry,tonight.,Leela,It's on.
Leela,It's on.,Hermes,look like Normal Albert!
Hermes,look like Normal Albert!,Amy,I don't know what to do. Do you think I should eat more butter?
Amy,I don't know what to do. Do you think I should eat more butter?,Hermes,"I am putting a stop to this, right now! Come on! We're switching bodies."
Hermes,"I am putting a stop to this, right now! Come on! We're switching bodies.",Amy,"Hermes, no! I'll ruin your body, too!"
Amy,"Hermes, no! I'll ruin your body, too!",Hermes,Three decades of the munchies beat you to it.
Hermes,Three decades of the munchies beat you to it.,Big,Bertha You remind me of myself as a young cannon.
Big,Bertha You remind me of myself as a young cannon.,Chainsaw-Eating,Robot. She shoots robots through the air.
Chainsaw-Eating,Robot. She shoots robots through the air.,Farnsworth,I've always wanted to be shot out of something. How about a quick blast after lunch.
Farnsworth,I've always wanted to be shot out of something. How about a quick blast after lunch.,Bertha,"Alas, a fine big one like you would shatter my barrel. But, ah, to amaze the crowd once more."
Bertha,"Alas, a fine big one like you would shatter my barrel. But, ah, to amaze the crowd once more.",Farnsworth,"I understand the problem of age, but suppose I could put you into a new body?"
Farnsworth,"I understand the problem of age, but suppose I could put you into a new body?",Bender,"Ah! I have everything I every wanted. Money, wealth, riches. Yet something's missing. A hot princess with which to get(?) grizzly."
Bender,"Ah! I have everything I every wanted. Money, wealth, riches. Yet something's missing. A hot princess with which to get(?) grizzly.",Flavia,Hello.
Flavia,Hello.,Bender,"Huh? Hey, what's going on here? And why are you kissing my dashing cousin instead of me?"
Bender,"Huh? Hey, what's going on here? And why are you kissing my dashing cousin instead of me?",Flavia,"Nikolai, you imperial fool! We've been having an affair for 700 years."
Flavia,"Nikolai, you imperial fool! We've been having an affair for 700 years.",Flavia,"Farewell, Nikolai."
Flavia,"Farewell, Nikolai.",Leela,Ew!
Leela,Ew!,Fry,"I'm sorry, Leela. I hope that didn't make you ashamed to be seen with me."
Fry,"I'm sorry, Leela. I hope that didn't make you ashamed to be seen with me.",Fry,Ew!
Fry,Ew!,Leela,"Oh, did my bodily infirmity embarrass you?"
Leela,"Oh, did my bodily infirmity embarrass you?",Fry,Not at all. It's just another thing that makes you a very special lady.
Fry,Not at all. It's just another thing that makes you a very special lady.,Leela,Eh!
Leela,Eh!,Fry,Admit it! You're disgusted by me!
Fry,Admit it! You're disgusted by me!,Leela,"No, you're disgusted by me!"
Leela,"No, you're disgusted by me!",Fry,I'm as attracted to you as I've ever been!
Fry,I'm as attracted to you as I've ever been!,Zoidberg,A floor? We live like kings?
Zoidberg,A floor? We live like kings?,Nikolai,from our brandy storeroom that you know how to find.
Nikolai,from our brandy storeroom that you know how to find.,Robot,"There you are, Emperor Nikolai. It's time for your speech to the UN."
Robot,"There you are, Emperor Nikolai. It's time for your speech to the UN.",Scruffy,Miss Wong?
Scruffy,Miss Wong?,Wash,bucket
Wash,bucket,Scruffy,"It's wrong, wash bucket. Oh, it would be sweet for a while, but in the back of our minds, we'd know that I'm a man and you're janitorial equipment."
Scruffy,"It's wrong, wash bucket. Oh, it would be sweet for a while, but in the back of our minds, we'd know that I'm a man and you're janitorial equipment.",Wash,"bucket  In another city, we could be anyone we want!"
Wash,"bucket  In another city, we could be anyone we want!",Scruffy,"Go. Go now, before I beg you to stay."
Scruffy,"Go. Go now, before I beg you to stay.",Scruffy,Yep.
Scruffy,Yep.,Nixon,"Please welcome an insane dictator, and one heck of a bowler, Emperor Nikolai!"
Nixon,"Please welcome an insane dictator, and one heck of a bowler, Emperor Nikolai!",Bender,"Thanks, Nixon. How we doing?"
Bender,"Thanks, Nixon. How we doing?",Woman,"I love you, Your Majesty."
Woman,"I love you, Your Majesty.",Basil,I shall enjoy this.
Basil,I shall enjoy this.,Bender,Not me.
Bender,Not me.,Chainsaw-Eating,"Robot: That devil, Basil, will kill our emperor."
Chainsaw-Eating,"Robot: That devil, Basil, will kill our emperor.",Farnsworth,You're Robo-Hungarian?
Farnsworth,You're Robo-Hungarian?,Robot,Carny: Yes. Our nation's chief export is carnies.
Robot,Carny: Yes. Our nation's chief export is carnies.,Farnsworth,If only there was some way I could get to the UN to help.
Farnsworth,If only there was some way I could get to the UN to help.,Bertha,"There is. Get in, Nonchalanto."
Bertha,"There is. Get in, Nonchalanto.",Chainsaw-Eating,"Robot: Bertha, no! It would kill you!"
Chainsaw-Eating,"Robot: Bertha, no! It would kill you!",Bertha,I have not so much time left anyhow.
Bertha,I have not so much time left anyhow.,Farnsworth,"But you could get a new body! You could have a rich, full life!"
Farnsworth,"But you could get a new body! You could have a rich, full life!",Bender,Me! Thank God you've come!
Bender,Me! Thank God you've come!,Farnsworth,That is not what I meant to give you for Big Bertha.
Farnsworth,That is not what I meant to give you for Big Bertha.,Leela,That was nice.
Leela,That was nice.,Basil,I like killing brave things.
Basil,I like killing brave things.,Boy,"When I grow up, I wanna be a diplomat!"
Boy,"When I grow up, I wanna be a diplomat!",Nikolai,"I shall sell it to help the common folk, now that I understand their misery."
Nikolai,"I shall sell it to help the common folk, now that I understand their misery.",Bender,"Yeah, good luck with that."
Bender,"Yeah, good luck with that.",Leela,"I must say, Hermes, you've got a smoking-hot body."
Leela,"I must say, Hermes, you've got a smoking-hot body.",Leela,Wow! How did you do it.
Leela,Wow! How did you do it.,Amy,Forever.
Amy,Forever.,Sweet,Clyde Q to the E to the D!
Sweet,Clyde Q to the E to the D!,Farnsworth,So it is possible us all to get back to our original bodies?
Farnsworth,So it is possible us all to get back to our original bodies?,Bubblegum,"Stone-cold munching, Prof. Sweet Clyde, characterize your inversion theorem."
Bubblegum,"Stone-cold munching, Prof. Sweet Clyde, characterize your inversion theorem.",Sweet,Clyde
Sweet,Clyde,Farnsworth,And they say pure math has no real-world applications!
Farnsworth,And they say pure math has no real-world applications!,Sweet,Clyde
Sweet,Clyde,Farnsworth’s,highest academic honor for this.
Farnsworth’s,highest academic honor for this.,Nikolai,So long filthy commoners.
Nikolai,So long filthy commoners.,Bender,...his compartment!
Bender,...his compartment!,Bender,All right. I'll need accomplices.
Bender,All right. I'll need accomplices.,The,"Scary Announcer: You're taking a vacation from normalcy, the setting: a weird motel where the bed is stained with mystery, and there's also some mystery floating in the pool. Your key card may not open the exercise room because someone smeared mystery on the lock. But it will open the Scary Door."
The,"Scary Announcer: You're taking a vacation from normalcy, the setting: a weird motel where the bed is stained with mystery, and there's also some mystery floating in the pool. Your key card may not open the exercise room because someone smeared mystery on the lock. But it will open the Scary Door.",Announcer,"consideration, a popular Senator with unpopular ideas."
Announcer,"consideration, a popular Senator with unpopular ideas.",Senator,There's no such thing as space aliens!
Senator,There's no such thing as space aliens!,Man,Oh? How can you be so sure them aliens ain't already among us?
Man,Oh? How can you be so sure them aliens ain't already among us?,Senator,I'll tell you how! Because you ARE ONE!!!
Senator,I'll tell you how! Because you ARE ONE!!!,Lrrr,just needed a field goal to tie!
Lrrr,just needed a field goal to tie!,Ndnd,"Lrrr, you lazy ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8! You said you would conquer a planet today, but you have not even shed your skin yet!"
Ndnd,"Lrrr, you lazy ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8! You said you would conquer a planet today, but you have not even shed your skin yet!",Lrrr,"Yes, Ndnd. I heard you the first hundred times. I'll conquer something tomorrow after I fuel up on your disgusting egg-white omelets."
Lrrr,"Yes, Ndnd. I heard you the first hundred times. I'll conquer something tomorrow after I fuel up on your disgusting egg-white omelets.",Invader,X: Ha ha ha! I am conquering Erth.
Invader,X: Ha ha ha! I am conquering Erth.,Leelis,Lane!
Leelis,Lane!,Delivery-Boy,Man
Delivery-Boy,Man,Leelis,Lane
Leelis,Lane,Invader,"X: Stop it, you hero!"
Invader,"X: Stop it, you hero!",Delivery-Boy,Man: Reverse-time power!
Delivery-Boy,Man: Reverse-time power!,Delivery-Boy,Man
Delivery-Boy,Man,Fry,So? What do you think of my comic?
Fry,So? What do you think of my comic?,Leela,"If I may offer some constructive criticism, there was never any real peril. I mean, the delivery guy has, like, 30 superpowers."
Leela,"If I may offer some constructive criticism, there was never any real peril. I mean, the delivery guy has, like, 30 superpowers.",Zoidberg,This is wonderful!
Zoidberg,This is wonderful!,Fry,"It is, isn't it? Wait, those are the ads."
Fry,"It is, isn't it? Wait, those are the ads.",Zoidberg,These X-ray specs will really take the guesswork out of surgery. No more chopping blindly in the goop.
Zoidberg,These X-ray specs will really take the guesswork out of surgery. No more chopping blindly in the goop.,Prof.,"Farnsworth: Don't waste your allowance, Zoidberg. This stuff is butt-grade crap."
Prof.,"Farnsworth: Don't waste your allowance, Zoidberg. This stuff is butt-grade crap.",Paper-hatted,salesman: Amuse your friends with real vomit!
Paper-hatted,salesman: Amuse your friends with real vomit!,Man,#1: Throw your voice!
Man,#1: Throw your voice!,Woman,Sea monkeys!
Woman,Sea monkeys!,Man,#2: Throw your sea monkeys!
Man,#2: Throw your sea monkeys!,Farnsworth,My disintegrator ray really works!
Farnsworth,My disintegrator ray really works!,Amy,But that's you.
Amy,But that's you.,Farnsworth,Worthless toy.
Farnsworth,Worthless toy.,Fry,I'm sick of being critiqued by nitpicking nerds. I'm taking this to a comic book convention!
Fry,I'm sick of being critiqued by nitpicking nerds. I'm taking this to a comic book convention!,"Amy,",it's crowded!
"Amy,",it's crowded!,Bender,Good thing everyone is freshly bathed and groomed.
Bender,Good thing everyone is freshly bathed and groomed.,Action,Figure: Don't tell me how to do the line. It sickens me.
Action,Figure: Don't tell me how to do the line. It sickens me.,Zoidberg,But the sign said there was a mint in the box.
Zoidberg,But the sign said there was a mint in the box.,Groening,"Thank you so... Okay, thanks... Thanks so... Settle down!"
Groening,"Thank you so... Okay, thanks... Thanks so... Settle down!",Groening,for our new TV series.
Groening,for our new TV series.,Groening,has really streamlined the process.
Groening,has really streamlined the process.,Bill,Morrison Robot. Yes? The robot standing on the small child over there?
Bill,Morrison Robot. Yes? The robot standing on the small child over there?,Bender,D'oh!
Bender,D'oh!,Fry,"Mr. Aragonés, I'm a big fan of your cartoons and your mustache."
Fry,"Mr. Aragonés, I'm a big fan of your cartoons and your mustache.",Aragonés,You want it? Take it. It's brought me nothing but misery.
Aragonés,You want it? Take it. It's brought me nothing but misery.,Fry,"If you could just quiet down, I wanted to get your opinion of my comic book."
Fry,"If you could just quiet down, I wanted to get your opinion of my comic book.",Aragonés,"Mmm. It stinks. But, um, I do like the tiny doodles in the margins."
Aragonés,"Mmm. It stinks. But, um, I do like the tiny doodles in the margins.",Fry,"Oh, that's just some relish from a hot dog I found."
Fry,"Oh, that's just some relish from a hot dog I found.",Man,"Attention, ladies and gentleboys, the costume contest is about to begin."
Man,"Attention, ladies and gentleboys, the costume contest is about to begin.",Leela,What the hell are you supposed to be?
Leela,What the hell are you supposed to be?,Bender,"Every nerd's fantasy, baby."
Bender,"Every nerd's fantasy, baby.",Randy,"Contestant 36, everyone. Next up, contestant 37..."
Randy,"Contestant 36, everyone. Next up, contestant 37...",Lrrr,"I am Lrrr, ruler of the planet..."
Lrrr,"I am Lrrr, ruler of the planet...",Grrrl,"Damn, that's a good costume."
Grrrl,"Damn, that's a good costume.",Randy,Next up contestant 38!
Randy,Next up contestant 38!,Lrrr,I don't understand. Why are the human still eating their soft pretzels instead of surrendering?
Lrrr,I don't understand. Why are the human still eating their soft pretzels instead of surrendering?,Lrrr,"Joss Whedon's here? Wait a minute, you look familiar."
Lrrr,"Joss Whedon's here? Wait a minute, you look familiar.",Leela,"Yeah, you almost ate me once. I was in your mouth for five minutes."
Leela,"Yeah, you almost ate me once. I was in your mouth for five minutes.",Lrrr,Leela?
Lrrr,Leela?,Bender,"Wooh, I've got fruit boobs!"
Bender,"Wooh, I've got fruit boobs!",Lrrr,What's the use?
Lrrr,What's the use?,Lrrr,Now what?
Lrrr,Now what?,Lrrr,I thought you'd like it. You haven't even tried it on.
Lrrr,I thought you'd like it. You haven't even tried it on.,Ndnd,I might dress up in a face if you ever took me anywhere nice!
Ndnd,I might dress up in a face if you ever took me anywhere nice!,Lrrr,"Oh, boy, here we go. I built this castle with my own two slaves. What are you gonna to do, kick me out?"
Lrrr,"Oh, boy, here we go. I built this castle with my own two slaves. What are you gonna to do, kick me out?",Lrrr,"I am Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8. May I crash on your couch?"
Lrrr,"I am Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8. May I crash on your couch?",Farnsworth,"So he just showed up unannounced, raided the liquor cabinet, sprayed urine on the ceiling and passed out?"
Farnsworth,"So he just showed up unannounced, raided the liquor cabinet, sprayed urine on the ceiling and passed out?",Amy,And the walls.
Amy,And the walls.,Lrrr,Leave me alone. My wife hates me and planetary conquest has become a chore.
Lrrr,Leave me alone. My wife hates me and planetary conquest has become a chore.,Lrrr,Lrrr demands the comfort of pop-psychological platitudes.
Lrrr,Lrrr demands the comfort of pop-psychological platitudes.,Leela,"But in the long-tern, you need to reinvest in your relationship with Ndnd."
Leela,"But in the long-tern, you need to reinvest in your relationship with Ndnd.",Lrrr,"Yes, it's clear what I must do."
Lrrr,"Yes, it's clear what I must do.",Lrrr,I like it.
Lrrr,I like it.,Lrrr,"Horns are a sign of virility. Also, they house my testes."
Lrrr,"Horns are a sign of virility. Also, they house my testes.",Surgeon,I'm thinking horn extension.
Surgeon,I'm thinking horn extension.,Bender,"You'll need some arm candy. It's the perfect accessory for out-of-shape, middle-aged creeps like you. Yeah, I said it! What's your time, Borgnine?"
Bender,"You'll need some arm candy. It's the perfect accessory for out-of-shape, middle-aged creeps like you. Yeah, I said it! What's your time, Borgnine?",Grrrl,"Hey, cool cape. Were'd you get it?"
Grrrl,"Hey, cool cape. Were'd you get it?",Lrrr.,"My name's Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8."
Lrrr.,"My name's Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8.",Grrrl,I am called Grrrl.
Grrrl,I am called Grrrl.,Lrrr,Of the planet Omicron Persei 8? That is a pretty name.
Lrrr,Of the planet Omicron Persei 8? That is a pretty name.,Lrrr,"What's on the TV tonight? Oh, wait! I don't care, because I've got a date!"
Lrrr,"What's on the TV tonight? Oh, wait! I don't care, because I've got a date!",Leela,"I know it's not what you want to hear, but I think this is a mistake."
Leela,"I know it's not what you want to hear, but I think this is a mistake.",Fry,Leela's right. That's not what you want to hear. What you want to hear is that I fixed my comic book. Now the hero is more reliable because he has no more ridiculous powers.
Fry,Leela's right. That's not what you want to hear. What you want to hear is that I fixed my comic book. Now the hero is more reliable because he has no more ridiculous powers.,Lrrr,"Let's watch, shall we."
Lrrr,"Let's watch, shall we.",Invader,X: One more step and little Miss Constructive Criticism here gets it!
Invader,X: One more step and little Miss Constructive Criticism here gets it!,Delivery-Boy,"Man: Oh, yeah? I may be just a simple delivery boy with no superpowers, so there's nothing I can do."
Delivery-Boy,"Man: Oh, yeah? I may be just a simple delivery boy with no superpowers, so there's nothing I can do.",Invader,X
Invader,X,Fry,So? Give me your honest praise.
Fry,So? Give me your honest praise.,Leela,"Fry, I've now seen two comic books, so listen to me. Why should I care about the hero when all he does is cry?"
Leela,"Fry, I've now seen two comic books, so listen to me. Why should I care about the hero when all he does is cry?",Lrrr,Hmm. That dinner was a worthy foe.
Lrrr,Hmm. That dinner was a worthy foe.,Lrrr,"Um, I'm sorry. I haven't done this for a while. I just got partway out of a bad relationship."
Lrrr,"Um, I'm sorry. I haven't done this for a while. I just got partway out of a bad relationship.",Lrrr,You're a human?
Lrrr,You're a human?,Grrrl,"Wait, you're an actual Omicronian?"
Grrrl,"Wait, you're an actual Omicronian?",Lrrr,"Oh, God. Oh God, what have I done?"
Lrrr,"Oh, God. Oh God, what have I done?",Lrrr,I want to go home! But Ndnd would never take me back now.
Lrrr,I want to go home! But Ndnd would never take me back now.,Leela,"Ndnd just wants what every she-beast wants, to feel like you're listening to her nagging. Is there anything she has been riding your ass about?"
Leela,"Ndnd just wants what every she-beast wants, to feel like you're listening to her nagging. Is there anything she has been riding your ass about?",Lrrr,"Conquering things, I guess. I could conquer Earth, kill all humans."
Lrrr,"Conquering things, I guess. I could conquer Earth, kill all humans.",Bender,There's a thought.
Bender,There's a thought.,Leela,No! We don't need a war of the worlds.
Leela,No! We don't need a war of the worlds.,Bender,Dork calling Orson! Dork calling Orson!
Bender,Dork calling Orson! Dork calling Orson!,Welles,merely to deceive and impress the wife of this skinny reptile?
Welles,merely to deceive and impress the wife of this skinny reptile?,Fry,Sorry. Never mind.
Fry,Sorry. Never mind.,Welles,I do it for free.
Welles,I do it for free.,Welles,and their orchestra to bring you a special bulletin.
Welles,and their orchestra to bring you a special bulletin.,Welles,It's just foolish on its face.
Welles,It's just foolish on its face.,Fry,"If you want the cheese log, you'll read what I wrote."
Fry,"If you want the cheese log, you'll read what I wrote.",Welles,Very well. I shall comply.
Welles,Very well. I shall comply.,Lrrr,with them for my amusement.
Lrrr,with them for my amusement.,Ndnd,Ooh! I could swear his horns have gotten longer!
Ndnd,Ooh! I could swear his horns have gotten longer!,Kif,"Sir, I've intercepted an Earth broadcast."
Kif,"Sir, I've intercepted an Earth broadcast.",Zapp,To hell with Little Orphan Annie! We've got to do something.
Zapp,To hell with Little Orphan Annie! We've got to do something.,Welles,I'm sorry I've been so difficult.
Welles,I'm sorry I've been so difficult.,Welles,"Damn, I'm good. Now, may I please have that cheese log?"
Welles,"Damn, I'm good. Now, may I please have that cheese log?",Zapp,How 'bout this?
Zapp,How 'bout this?,Kif,Hey!
Kif,Hey!,Leela,"Come on, Lrrr. Show's over."
Leela,"Come on, Lrrr. Show's over.",Lrrr,Funny story.
Lrrr,Funny story.,Ndnd,"Hello, Lrrr."
Ndnd,"Hello, Lrrr.",Leela,Lrrr! Put a stop to this right now!
Leela,Lrrr! Put a stop to this right now!,Lrrr,"Okay, okay. Quit nagging!"
Lrrr,"Okay, okay. Quit nagging!",Ndnd,"Lrrr, why are you yelling softly with the purple-furred one?"
Ndnd,"Lrrr, why are you yelling softly with the purple-furred one?",Leela,He messed up my hair.
Leela,He messed up my hair.,Zapp,"We fought like Hell, sir, but in the end, we caved like a house of soufflé cards."
Zapp,"We fought like Hell, sir, but in the end, we caved like a house of soufflé cards.",Leela,You've got to tell her the truth. And lay off the salted peanuts!
Leela,You've got to tell her the truth. And lay off the salted peanuts!,Lrrr,I'm just trying to get the leg taste out of my mouth.
Lrrr,I'm just trying to get the leg taste out of my mouth.,Ndnd,"Lrrr, I'm in here now, not out there!"
Ndnd,"Lrrr, I'm in here now, not out there!",Lrrr,"Coming, giangantums!"
Lrrr,"Coming, giangantums!",Ndnd,Mmm. That's crisp.
Ndnd,Mmm. That's crisp.,Lrrr,"Yes, but no more so than your squamous dorsal plates in the moonlight."
Lrrr,"Yes, but no more so than your squamous dorsal plates in the moonlight.",Lrrr,"Ndnd, there's something that I've got to tell you."
Lrrr,"Ndnd, there's something that I've got to tell you.",Lrrr,"What? No, no, it's about this takeover of Earth. It's... It's..."
Lrrr,"What? No, no, it's about this takeover of Earth. It's... It's...",Ndnd,The spark that reignited our marriage?
Ndnd,The spark that reignited our marriage?,Leela,"Oh, lord! Now what?"
Leela,"Oh, lord! Now what?",Leela,"Look, you scaly crybaby, you'll do what I say and do it now!"
Leela,"Look, you scaly crybaby, you'll do what I say and do it now!",Ndnd,I knew it!
Ndnd,I knew it!,Bender,Frying pans! Cast-iron frying pans!
Bender,Frying pans! Cast-iron frying pans!,Lrrr,It's not what it looks like! What do I do?
Lrrr,It's not what it looks like! What do I do?,Leela,Do what I say. Tell her!
Leela,Do what I say. Tell her!,Lrrr,The invasion was all a fake. I just wanted to impress you.
Lrrr,The invasion was all a fake. I just wanted to impress you.,Ndnd,You lied? What else have you been hiding from me?
Ndnd,You lied? What else have you been hiding from me?,Lrrr,What else? Nothing else.
Lrrr,What else? Nothing else.,Grrrl,"I still want you, Lrrr, and I'm willing to fight for you."
Grrrl,"I still want you, Lrrr, and I'm willing to fight for you.",Bender,All I've got left is a colander and a pie pan.
Bender,All I've got left is a colander and a pie pan.,Ndnd,Lrrr?
Ndnd,Lrrr?,Lrrr,"Look, we only had one date. I barely mated with her."
Lrrr,"Look, we only had one date. I barely mated with her.",Ndnd,What I want to know is what is up between you and Bossy Boots here.
Ndnd,What I want to know is what is up between you and Bossy Boots here.,Lrrr,Her? She's just a bossy friend.
Lrrr,Her? She's just a bossy friend.,Fry,Rrrmrrrmrrrfrrrmrrr or what?
Fry,Rrrmrrrmrrrfrrrmrrr or what?,Ndnd,Let the ritual begin. The rules are the same as in the home version. Lrrr must simply choose between myself and Leela...
Ndnd,Let the ritual begin. The rules are the same as in the home version. Lrrr must simply choose between myself and Leela...,Leela,Fine. Hurry up.
Leela,Fine. Hurry up.,Ndnd,By shooting the one he rejects.
Ndnd,By shooting the one he rejects.,Leela,"Lrrr, I'm getting angry. Don't you go through with this."
Leela,"Lrrr, I'm getting angry. Don't you go through with this.",Lrrr,I do not want to shoot anybody.
Lrrr,I do not want to shoot anybody.,Ndnd,You never want to do anything!
Ndnd,You never want to do anything!,Lrrr,"Oh, nag, nag, nag."
Lrrr,"Oh, nag, nag, nag.",Ndnd,You want me to stop nagging? Then shoot me!
Ndnd,You want me to stop nagging? Then shoot me!,Lrrr,"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"
Lrrr,"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?",Ndnd,Beats staring at your fat ass on the couch.
Ndnd,Beats staring at your fat ass on the couch.,Ndnd,value my nagging above all others!
Ndnd,value my nagging above all others!,Leela,"Good night, dumb prince."
Leela,"Good night, dumb prince.",Grrrl,Hello.
Grrrl,Hello.,Zoidberg,Of course I'll marry you!
Zoidberg,Of course I'll marry you!,Amy,happened? I thought Ndnd disintegrated you with this ray gun.
Amy,happened? I thought Ndnd disintegrated you with this ray gun.,Grrrl,It's just a cheap teleporter. I bought it off the back of a comic book.
Grrrl,It's just a cheap teleporter. I bought it off the back of a comic book.,Farnsworth,Cha-ching!
Farnsworth,Cha-ching!,Amy,Fry?
Amy,Fry?,Zoidberg,Fry?
Zoidberg,Fry?,Bender,Is this him?
Bender,Is this him?,Leela,"Fry, you're alive!"
Leela,"Fry, you're alive!",Fry,"Not only that, I now know exactly how to end my comic book. Let's watch."
Fry,"Not only that, I now know exactly how to end my comic book. Let's watch.",Invader,"X: Say good-bye to your forehead, 'cause I'm gonna shoot you in it!"
Invader,"X: Say good-bye to your forehead, 'cause I'm gonna shoot you in it!",Delivery-Boy,Man
Delivery-Boy,Man,Invader,X
Invader,X,Lane,"Oh, Delivery-Boy Man! You saved me by random chance."
Lane,"Oh, Delivery-Boy Man! You saved me by random chance.",Delivery-Boy,Man
Delivery-Boy,Man,Leela,Good ending. Not great.
Leela,Good ending. Not great.,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone. We've been hired to make our 100th delivery."
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone. We've been hired to make our 100th delivery.",Zoidberg,100!
Zoidberg,100!,Hermes,That's almost 10 per year.
Hermes,That's almost 10 per year.,Bender,"impersonators who aren't above a little hooking, should the occasion arise!"
Bender,"impersonators who aren't above a little hooking, should the occasion arise!",Bender,"Oh my God, it's Elzar! Hi, Elzar! Great soufflé, Elzar!"
Bender,"Oh my God, it's Elzar! Hi, Elzar! Great soufflé, Elzar!",Farnsworth,"To prevent the soufflé from exploding, Bender will carry it. He's gyroscopically stable."
Farnsworth,"To prevent the soufflé from exploding, Bender will carry it. He's gyroscopically stable.",Amy,"Wow, it's ricketier than it looks. You'd better try to jump it, Bender."
Amy,"Wow, it's ricketier than it looks. You'd better try to jump it, Bender.",Hobsy,I shall inform Mrs. Astor that the circus is in town.
Hobsy,I shall inform Mrs. Astor that the circus is in town.,Hobsy,"Your soufflé, Madam."
Hobsy,"Your soufflé, Madam.",Mrs.,"Astor: I shall take it here, under my fork."
Mrs.,"Astor: I shall take it here, under my fork.",Zoidberg,Where's the exploding?
Zoidberg,Where's the exploding?,Hobsy,One does not explode in Mrs. Astor's face.
Hobsy,One does not explode in Mrs. Astor's face.,Mrs.,Astor: I couldn't eat another bite. Hobsy?
Mrs.,Astor: I couldn't eat another bite. Hobsy?,Mrs.,"Astor: Well done, sir. Have you a name?"
Mrs.,"Astor: Well done, sir. Have you a name?",Farnsworth,"Hubert Farnsworth, at your service."
Farnsworth,"Hubert Farnsworth, at your service.",Mrs.,Astor for almost two hundred years.
Mrs.,Astor for almost two hundred years.,Farnsworth,"Yes, I have."
Farnsworth,"Yes, I have.",Mrs.,Astor: How charmingly unconventional.
Mrs.,Astor: How charmingly unconventional.,Fry,I can eat a hotdog underwater.
Fry,I can eat a hotdog underwater.,Mrs.,Astor? All the best families will be there.
Mrs.,Astor? All the best families will be there.,Fry,We can take 'em.
Fry,We can take 'em.,Mrs.,Astor.
Mrs.,Astor.,Fry?,That's the kind of thing you are.
Fry?,That's the kind of thing you are.,"Leela,",remember?
"Leela,",remember?,Fry,Right. You gonna finish that roll?
Fry,Right. You gonna finish that roll?,Leela,Shh.
Leela,Shh.,Mrs.,Astor: Now a short film about those pitiable creatures so in need of our charity.
Mrs.,Astor: Now a short film about those pitiable creatures so in need of our charity.,Leela,Shut up!
Leela,Shut up!,"Narrator,","the nation's premier institution of lower learning. So please, give generously, knowing some poor helpless mutant will thank you. Not in person, thank God!"
"Narrator,","the nation's premier institution of lower learning. So please, give generously, knowing some poor helpless mutant will thank you. Not in person, thank God!",Leela,"Well, that was disturbing."
Leela,"Well, that was disturbing.",Mrs.,"Astor: Oh, I understand, dear. They are hideous."
Mrs.,"Astor: Oh, I understand, dear. They are hideous.",Leela,"Look, I guess you mean well, but isn't that university just a tax-deductible sewer-cleaning service?"
Leela,"Look, I guess you mean well, but isn't that university just a tax-deductible sewer-cleaning service?",Mrs.,"Astor: My dear, that school is about much more than sewer pipes."
Mrs.,"Astor: My dear, that school is about much more than sewer pipes.",Leela,Really?
Leela,Really?,Mrs.,"Astor: It's also about keeping those filthy things busy. There are thousands of them down there, breeding like rats."
Mrs.,"Astor: It's also about keeping those filthy things busy. There are thousands of them down there, breeding like rats.",Royalty,girl My great uncle once saw a rat.
Royalty,girl My great uncle once saw a rat.,Mrs.,"Astor: If we don't keep them busy, they'll start jabbering on about equal rights in their ill-bred manner."
Mrs.,"Astor: If we don't keep them busy, they'll start jabbering on about equal rights in their ill-bred manner.",Leela,"Let's go. If I say one more thing, I might say it with my evening boot."
Leela,"Let's go. If I say one more thing, I might say it with my evening boot.",Mrs.,Astor: Well! Rarely have I never!
Mrs.,Astor: Well! Rarely have I never!,Fry,"Please, don't blame Leela. She's just a little ill-bred. You know how mutants are."
Fry,"Please, don't blame Leela. She's just a little ill-bred. You know how mutants are.",Mrs.,Astor: You companion is a mutant?
Mrs.,Astor: You companion is a mutant?,Fry,"But if anyone asks, say she's an alien."
Fry,"But if anyone asks, say she's an alien.",Mrs.,Astor: Help! Police!
Mrs.,Astor: Help! Police!,Leela,What's gonna happen to me?
Leela,What's gonna happen to me?,Smitty,"Permanent deportation, you mutant."
Smitty,"Permanent deportation, you mutant.",Raoul,Incoming!
Raoul,Incoming!,Leela,I'm sorry.
Leela,I'm sorry.,Turanga,"Munda: It's okay, sweetie. Now that you're here, this hellhole feels more like a nice, regular hole."
Turanga,"Munda: It's okay, sweetie. Now that you're here, this hellhole feels more like a nice, regular hole.",Turanga,Morris ice cream?
Turanga,Morris ice cream?,Bender,Whoo!
Bender,Whoo!,Fry,"Poor, Leela. I feel like I ruined her life."
Fry,"Poor, Leela. I feel like I ruined her life.",Hermes,You did ruin her life.
Hermes,You did ruin her life.,Fry,"You might be right, Hermes."
Fry,"You might be right, Hermes.",Hermes,I am right.
Hermes,I am right.,Fry,I almost feel like we should do something to help her.
Fry,I almost feel like we should do something to help her.,Hermes,We should do something!
Hermes,We should do something!,Fry,"I don't care what you say, Hermes. Let's go."
Fry,"I don't care what you say, Hermes. Let's go.",Fry,"Oh, mighty mayor. We're here about Turanga Leela."
Fry,"Oh, mighty mayor. We're here about Turanga Leela.",Poopenmeyer,You mean Leela?
Poopenmeyer,You mean Leela?,Fry,"Right. I mean sure, she's a mutant, we've known that for years. But we kept it a secret because she's a fine, upstanding..."
Fry,"Right. I mean sure, she's a mutant, we've known that for years. But we kept it a secret because she's a fine, upstanding...",Poopenmeyer,Wait. You knowingly attempted to harbor a mutant?
Poopenmeyer,Wait. You knowingly attempted to harbor a mutant?,Hermes,We did harbor a mutant! Uh-oh.
Hermes,We did harbor a mutant! Uh-oh.,Leela,Urgh!
Leela,Urgh!,Morris,"Hey, guys! This is my daughter, Leela."
Morris,"Hey, guys! This is my daughter, Leela.","Morris,",now.
"Morris,",now.,Leela,"These conditions are deplorable. I swear, I hate every single person on the surface for making us live like this."
Leela,"These conditions are deplorable. I swear, I hate every single person on the surface for making us live like this.",Fry,Leela!
Fry,Leela!,Leela,What are you doing here?
Leela,What are you doing here?,Amy,We were sentence to two weeks in the sewer for harboring a mutant.
Amy,We were sentence to two weeks in the sewer for harboring a mutant.,Zoidberg,Three dollars at the drug store.
Zoidberg,Three dollars at the drug store.,Fry,"I'm so sorry I ratted you out, but, you know, after two weeks down here, I'll truly understand the plight of the mutant people."
Fry,"I'm so sorry I ratted you out, but, you know, after two weeks down here, I'll truly understand the plight of the mutant people.",Leela,hump or a Zoidberg face.
Leela,hump or a Zoidberg face.,Zoidberg,Urgh!
Zoidberg,Urgh!,Leela,You wanna know what it's like to be a mutant? Jump in and go for a swim.
Leela,You wanna know what it's like to be a mutant? Jump in and go for a swim.,Fry,"I would, but I ate a bunch of potato salad, so..."
Fry,"I would, but I ate a bunch of potato salad, so...",Leela,"Yeah, that's what I thought. You are all surface."
Leela,"Yeah, that's what I thought. You are all surface.",Bender,"Fry! Hermes! Where my humans are? Ah, who cares? It is on."
Bender,"Fry! Hermes! Where my humans are? Ah, who cares? It is on.",Horrible,Gelatinous Blob
Horrible,Gelatinous Blob,Hedonism,Bot: I trust the orgy pit has been scraped and buttered?
Hedonism,Bot: I trust the orgy pit has been scraped and buttered?,"Bender,",too.
"Bender,",too.,"Amy,",the biggest and onlyest land boat ever constructed...
"Amy,",the biggest and onlyest land boat ever constructed...,Hermes,This was one hell of a bus.
Hermes,This was one hell of a bus.,Farnsworth,"Zoidberg, show some respect! This is a sacred shrine to the thousands who lost their lives."
Farnsworth,"Zoidberg, show some respect! This is a sacred shrine to the thousands who lost their lives.",Amy,"Hey, I found a safe!"
Amy,"Hey, I found a safe!",Hermes,Spreadsheets were so elegant back then.
Hermes,Spreadsheets were so elegant back then.,Amy,"It's jewelry. Jewelry! It's jewelry, people!"
Amy,"It's jewelry. Jewelry! It's jewelry, people!",Zoidberg,on it?
Zoidberg,on it?,Hermes,"My dear Mrs. Astor. My love for you is as unsinkable as this land ship and as brilliant as this stone. Dictated but not read, Mr. Astor."
Hermes,"My dear Mrs. Astor. My love for you is as unsinkable as this land ship and as brilliant as this stone. Dictated but not read, Mr. Astor.",Amy,Aw! That's so valuable.
Amy,Aw! That's so valuable.,Munda,"What's a matter, Leela? You've hardly touched your toilet clams."
Munda,"What's a matter, Leela? You've hardly touched your toilet clams.",Leela,Maybe I was too harsh on Fry. He didn't ruin my life on purpose.
Leela,Maybe I was too harsh on Fry. He didn't ruin my life on purpose.,Bubblegum,"Bender, I've been to wang dang doodles all up and down the galaxy, but this is the dangest wang I ever doodled."
Bubblegum,"Bender, I've been to wang dang doodles all up and down the galaxy, but this is the dangest wang I ever doodled.",Hedonism,Bot: Alone with me?
Hedonism,Bot: Alone with me?,Leela,Fry? What are you doing.
Leela,Fry? What are you doing.,Fry,You were right. I don't know what it's like to be a mutant. But I want to know.
Fry,You were right. I don't know what it's like to be a mutant. But I want to know.,Fry,Any effect?
Fry,Any effect?,Leela,Sorry. I tried to scream but I barfed.
Leela,Sorry. I tried to scream but I barfed.,Fry,I think I'm knowing what it's like to be a mutant.
Fry,I think I'm knowing what it's like to be a mutant.,Zoidberg,"So, what's with all the screaming?"
Zoidberg,"So, what's with all the screaming?",Fry,"Hey, guys."
Fry,"Hey, guys.",Leela,"Fry, this is the stupidest, sweetest thing you've ever done. And you know, maybe now, together, we can be an inspiration to other mutants."
Leela,"Fry, this is the stupidest, sweetest thing you've ever done. And you know, maybe now, together, we can be an inspiration to other mutants.",Fry,"I hope so, Leela."
Fry,"I hope so, Leela.",Leela,I'll text ya.
Leela,I'll text ya.,Fry,"My fellow mutants, until recently, I dwelt on the surface where a man can gaze up at the sky in wonder without a wet clump falling in his mouth."
Fry,"My fellow mutants, until recently, I dwelt on the surface where a man can gaze up at the sky in wonder without a wet clump falling in his mouth.",Mutated,Mark Mothersbaugh
Mutated,Mark Mothersbaugh,Mutated,Mark Mothersbaugh.
Mutated,Mark Mothersbaugh.,Leela,"Now that we got their attention, it's time to hit them where they sit, by bending the West Side Pipeway to return all sewage to the surface."
Leela,"Now that we got their attention, it's time to hit them where they sit, by bending the West Side Pipeway to return all sewage to the surface.",Fry,But who could possibly bend such a huge pipe?
Fry,But who could possibly bend such a huge pipe?,Bender,"So lonely. Poor, sad Bender."
Bender,"So lonely. Poor, sad Bender.",Fry,"Hey, buddy."
Fry,"Hey, buddy.",Mutants,Bend it! Bend it! Bend it!
Mutants,Bend it! Bend it! Bend it!,Colonel,"Move out, Fry. We need out most disgusting mutant leading the charge."
Colonel,"Move out, Fry. We need out most disgusting mutant leading the charge.",Fry,I'll meet you up there. I need to check out something first.
Fry,I'll meet you up there. I need to check out something first.,Colonel,"Okay. Vyolet, you're up front."
Colonel,"Okay. Vyolet, you're up front.",Vyolet,Hey!
Vyolet,Hey!,Mrs.,"Astor: Mayor, this sewage debacle has gone on long enough. As your largest campaign contributor, I demand action!"
Mrs.,"Astor: Mayor, this sewage debacle has gone on long enough. As your largest campaign contributor, I demand action!",Poopenmeyer,Very well. $80 worth of action it is.
Poopenmeyer,Very well. $80 worth of action it is.,Mrs.,Astor
Mrs.,Astor,Vyolet,Two!
Vyolet,Two!,Mutated,Mark Mothersbaugh: Four!
Mutated,Mark Mothersbaugh: Four!,Colonel,Six eyes!
Colonel,Six eyes!,Mutants,The mutant people will arise.
Mutants,The mutant people will arise.,Leela,That so we have something to give up at the negotiations.
Leela,That so we have something to give up at the negotiations.,Mrs.,"Astor: I've never been so moved, and I see no reason to begin now. Hobsy, flush those creatures back into the hole they crawled out of."
Mrs.,"Astor: I've never been so moved, and I see no reason to begin now. Hobsy, flush those creatures back into the hole they crawled out of.","Fry,",on which your husband land-drowned. Inside was something that might interest you.
"Fry,",on which your husband land-drowned. Inside was something that might interest you.,Mrs.,"Astor So what, I have a chandelier in my car made of those."
Mrs.,"Astor So what, I have a chandelier in my car made of those.",Fry,"Not the gem. This passenger manifest. It turns out there were mutants on that ship, working below deck in the sewage galley."
Fry,"Not the gem. This passenger manifest. It turns out there were mutants on that ship, working below deck in the sewage galley.",Leela's,"grandmother: Thanks to your husband's humanity, I lived to raise my own daughter, and she, a daughter in turn."
Leela's,"grandmother: Thanks to your husband's humanity, I lived to raise my own daughter, and she, a daughter in turn.",Leela,"Mom, why have I never heard this?"
Leela,"Mom, why have I never heard this?",Munda,My mother's nuts.
Munda,My mother's nuts.,Fry,"I beg you, Mrs. Astor, if you truly want to honor your husband's memory, treat these people with dignity, as he did."
Fry,"I beg you, Mrs. Astor, if you truly want to honor your husband's memory, treat these people with dignity, as he did.",Mrs.,"Astor Randall, let's grant these mutants their freedom."
Mrs.,"Astor Randall, let's grant these mutants their freedom.",Poopenmeyer,Okay.
Poopenmeyer,Okay.,Dwayne,Are we not men now?
Dwayne,Are we not men now?,Mutated,"Mark Mothersbaugh: I'm forty percent potato, but close enough."
Mutated,"Mark Mothersbaugh: I'm forty percent potato, but close enough.",Leela,"Thank you, Fry. I think maybe I can stomach that kiss now."
Leela,"Thank you, Fry. I think maybe I can stomach that kiss now.",Fry,What the...?
Fry,What the...?,Mr.,"Astor: Good afternoon. I am Mr. Astor. I did not perish that fateful day, but rather plummeted into the toxic lake, where I mutated and lived in solitude until this ruddy lad here stepped into my mouth and lodged there."
Mr.,"Astor: Good afternoon. I am Mr. Astor. I did not perish that fateful day, but rather plummeted into the toxic lake, where I mutated and lived in solitude until this ruddy lad here stepped into my mouth and lodged there.",Mrs.,Astor
Mrs.,Astor,Zoidberg,Horray! A happy ending for the rich people!
Zoidberg,Horray! A happy ending for the rich people!,Leela,"Mom, Dad, Grandma, this is where I work."
Leela,"Mom, Dad, Grandma, this is where I work.",Munda,Oh! Was there a fire?
Munda,Oh! Was there a fire?,Amy,"So, Bender, how was the party?"
Amy,"So, Bender, how was the party?",Bender,Only the greatest party ever! I don't need to have another party in my whole life. I am partied out!
Bender,Only the greatest party ever! I don't need to have another party in my whole life. I am partied out!,Fry,Dang! Sorry we missed it!
Fry,Dang! Sorry we missed it!,Bender,"We could have another one, if it would make you guys feel better."
Bender,"We could have another one, if it would make you guys feel better.",Fry,"Really? No, that's not necessary."
Fry,"Really? No, that's not necessary.",Transition,Announcer: It's The Futurama Holiday Spectacular! Brought to you by...
Transition,Announcer: It's The Futurama Holiday Spectacular! Brought to you by...,Transition,Announcer: Gunderson's Unshelled Nuts!
Transition,Announcer: Gunderson's Unshelled Nuts!,Amy,season. Who wants a delicious unshelled nut?
Amy,season. Who wants a delicious unshelled nut?,Bender,"Ooh, I'll have one!"
Bender,"Ooh, I'll have one!",Amy,Mmm... It's NUTSO Good!
Amy,Mmm... It's NUTSO Good!,Fry,Oh.
Fry,Oh.,Leela,"What's wrong, Fry? Are you regretting another wasted year?"
Leela,"What's wrong, Fry? Are you regretting another wasted year?",Fry,I don't know. Somethin' about Xmas just doesn't feel like Christmas.
Fry,I don't know. Somethin' about Xmas just doesn't feel like Christmas.,Farnsworth,Santa's coming! Initiate defenses!
Farnsworth,Santa's coming! Initiate defenses!,Robot,Santa
Robot,Santa,Fry,Can someone please explain how you celebrate this crazy holiday? Preferably in song?
Fry,Can someone please explain how you celebrate this crazy holiday? Preferably in song?,Robot,Santa: It's the violentest season of the year.
Robot,Santa: It's the violentest season of the year.,Elf,Old Kringle-bot has come to spread some mugs of Xmas fear.
Elf,Old Kringle-bot has come to spread some mugs of Xmas fear.,Robot,Santa
Robot,Santa,When,I cane you from the comfort of my sled.
When,I cane you from the comfort of my sled.,Kevlar,"vests, asbestos stockings and a barrel."
Kevlar,"vests, asbestos stockings and a barrel.",It,can be regifted straight to Santa's ass.
It,can be regifted straight to Santa's ass.,Robot,Santa; a pine tree that's coniferous.
Robot,Santa; a pine tree that's coniferous.,Planet,Express crew (except Amy): We have to have a pine tree as coniferous.
Planet,Express crew (except Amy): We have to have a pine tree as coniferous.,Robot,Santa: You're welcome.
Robot,Santa: You're welcome.,Fry,"You know, Santa may have killed Scruffy, but he makes a good point. What we need is an old-fashioned pine tree."
Fry,"You know, Santa may have killed Scruffy, but he makes a good point. What we need is an old-fashioned pine tree.",Farnsworth!,Pine trees have been extinct for over eight hundred years.
Farnsworth!,Pine trees have been extinct for over eight hundred years.,"Farnsworth,",the vault has preserved seeds of every known plant species in case of extinction.
"Farnsworth,",the vault has preserved seeds of every known plant species in case of extinction.,Hermes,brought a few seeds of my own.
Hermes,brought a few seeds of my own.,Norwegian,"seed guard: Halt! Wh-what's your business poky-pokin' about da seed vault, eh, guardian of mankind's precious botanical heritage dere?"
Norwegian,"seed guard: Halt! Wh-what's your business poky-pokin' about da seed vault, eh, guardian of mankind's precious botanical heritage dere?",Farnsworth,We just wanna come in and rummage about a bit.
Farnsworth,We just wanna come in and rummage about a bit.,Norwegian,seed guard
Norwegian,seed guard,Norwegian,"seed guard: Oh, dat's da germ warfare repository."
Norwegian,"seed guard: Oh, dat's da germ warfare repository.",Leela,It's so close! Is there any chance of cross-contamination?
Leela,It's so close! Is there any chance of cross-contamination?,Norwegian,seed guard: No.
Norwegian,seed guard: No.,Norwegian,"seed guard: Now, your pine trees were all chopped down to make imirgincee toilet paper durin' th' fifty-year squirts. Lucky da seeds have bin preserved here in da vault der."
Norwegian,"seed guard: Now, your pine trees were all chopped down to make imirgincee toilet paper durin' th' fifty-year squirts. Lucky da seeds have bin preserved here in da vault der.",Amy,"It's not germs, is it?"
Amy,"It's not germs, is it?",Norwegian,seed guard: No.
Norwegian,seed guard: No.,Fry,a tree worth chopping down.
Fry,a tree worth chopping down.,Tinny,Tim: Indeed. 'Tis a loverly tree. 'Twould truly be my finest Xmas eve-
Tinny,Tim: Indeed. 'Tis a loverly tree. 'Twould truly be my finest Xmas eve-,Nixon,Araroo!
Nixon,Araroo!,Nixon,That's what my poll numbers need: Happy voters enjoying some holiday cheer.
Nixon,That's what my poll numbers need: Happy voters enjoying some holiday cheer.,Cheney,"As your Vice President, I order you to steal that tree."
Cheney,"As your Vice President, I order you to steal that tree.","Nixon,","welcome to the Annual White House Xmas Tree Lighting, brought to you by Gunderson's Nuts!"
"Nixon,","welcome to the Annual White House Xmas Tree Lighting, brought to you by Gunderson's Nuts!",Amy,"Oh, no! Could the seed have been contaminated by a virus from the germ vault?"
Amy,"Oh, no! Could the seed have been contaminated by a virus from the germ vault?",Norwegian,"seed guard: Oh, yeh, I suppose."
Norwegian,"seed guard: Oh, yeh, I suppose.",Leela,thing. That weaponized virus made the sickly little tree grow big and strong.
Leela,thing. That weaponized virus made the sickly little tree grow big and strong.,Leela,thing. Reforestation has begun.
Leela,thing. Reforestation has begun.,Bender,"Aw, jeez with this, hey?(?)"
Bender,"Aw, jeez with this, hey?(?)",Leela,thing. The planet has returned to its primeval state.
Leela,thing. The planet has returned to its primeval state.,Fry,Earth is just the way it was before the white man came!
Fry,Earth is just the way it was before the white man came!,"Farnsworth,",Gore?
"Farnsworth,",Gore?,Gore,"Yeah, but I'd be happier if I had a set of lungs."
Gore,"Yeah, but I'd be happier if I had a set of lungs.",Farnsworth,rapidly! 10%... 20% ...60%!
Farnsworth,rapidly! 10%... 20% ...60%!,Gore,As long as it doesn't hit 70!
Gore,As long as it doesn't hit 70!,Farnsworth,80%!
Farnsworth,80%!,Bender,"Hey, cool, the air's on fire."
Bender,"Hey, cool, the air's on fire.",Robot,Santa Stay tuned for another tale of holiday hilarity!
Robot,Santa Stay tuned for another tale of holiday hilarity!,Transition,"Announcer: Now, back to..."
Transition,"Announcer: Now, back to...",Transition,Announcer!
Transition,Announcer!,Farnsworth,"Okay, crew. Xmas break is over. It's time to destroy these gifts we forgot to deliver."
Farnsworth,"Okay, crew. Xmas break is over. It's time to destroy these gifts we forgot to deliver.",Bender,"Woah, woah, woah! How come we get off for every dumb human holiday but not for robot holidays?"
Bender,"Woah, woah, woah! How come we get off for every dumb human holiday but not for robot holidays?",Bender,"I'm talkin' about Robanukah, the holiest six and a half weeks in the robot calendar!"
Bender,"I'm talkin' about Robanukah, the holiest six and a half weeks in the robot calendar!",Amy,Pfft! That's just a fake holiday you make up every year to get out of work.
Amy,Pfft! That's just a fake holiday you make up every year to get out of work.,Fry,"Yeah, if it's real, how come there's no song that explains how you celebrate it?"
Fry,"Yeah, if it's real, how come there's no song that explains how you celebrate it?",Bender,Because there is! Hit it!
Bender,Because there is! Hit it!,Farnsworth,Hit what?
Farnsworth,Hit what?,Bender,I've placed instruments under your seats. Play 'em or I'll break 'em over your heads!
Bender,I've placed instruments under your seats. Play 'em or I'll break 'em over your heads!,Which,will give me time to quickly make them up.
Which,will give me time to quickly make them up.,Hermes,Do you spin a dreidel made from clay?
Hermes,Do you spin a dreidel made from clay?,Bender,and it's rigged to make you pay.
Bender,and it's rigged to make you pay.,Amy,Do you eat these dummy tin-wrapped chocolate coins?
Amy,Do you eat these dummy tin-wrapped chocolate coins?,Bender,"Shalom, Ruth and Esther!"
Bender,"Shalom, Ruth and Esther!",Ruth,Why with the music so loud?
Ruth,Why with the music so loud?,Esther,Would it kill him to turn up the heat a little in here?
Esther,Would it kill him to turn up the heat a little in here?,Bender,But by far the most important thing is oil.
Bender,But by far the most important thing is oil.,Leela,To keep the lamp light burning or to help the latkes broil?
Leela,To keep the lamp light burning or to help the latkes broil?,Into,this blessed pit so they can wrestle.
Into,this blessed pit so they can wrestle.,Planet,Express crew
Planet,Express crew,Is,the oil in which the nasty fembots wrestle.
Is,the oil in which the nasty fembots wrestle.,Ruth,"Not in the hair, please. I just had it did."
Ruth,"Not in the hair, please. I just had it did.",Bender,and a half weeks!
Bender,and a half weeks!,Esther,"We're still gettin' paid, right?"
Esther,"We're still gettin' paid, right?",Bender,I told you it's an audition!
Bender,I told you it's an audition!,Leela,"Bender, four and a half weeks of oil wrestling sounds like plenty."
Leela,"Bender, four and a half weeks of oil wrestling sounds like plenty.",Bender,This isn't a lousy reform Robanukah! We need more petroleum oil!
Bender,This isn't a lousy reform Robanukah! We need more petroleum oil!,Hoschel,"I got me some whale oil, some squirrel oil—"
Hoschel,"I got me some whale oil, some squirrel oil—",Bender,Not kosher! It has to be petroleum oil! Do you not give a damn about the hallowed traditions of Robanukah?!
Bender,Not kosher! It has to be petroleum oil! Do you not give a damn about the hallowed traditions of Robanukah?!,Hoschel,"I reckon I do not. Anyways, Earth done run out of petroleum oil."
Hoschel,"I reckon I do not. Anyways, Earth done run out of petroleum oil.",Gore,One unit of free limitless solar power please.
Gore,One unit of free limitless solar power please.,Hoschel,That'll be... I dunno... ten bucks?
Hoschel,That'll be... I dunno... ten bucks?,Bender,petroleum oil?
Bender,petroleum oil?,Farnsworth,Petroleum only forms when organic matter is subjected to intense pressure for hundreds of millions of years.
Farnsworth,Petroleum only forms when organic matter is subjected to intense pressure for hundreds of millions of years.,Bender,This is so unfair!
Bender,This is so unfair!,Bender,"Professor, I want you to look these poor floozies in the eye and tell them their oil wrestling days are over."
Bender,"Professor, I want you to look these poor floozies in the eye and tell them their oil wrestling days are over.",Farnsworth,"I suppose there could be a minute quantity of petroleum left. But it would be insanely deep within the Earth, at pressures so dangerously high that—"
Farnsworth,"I suppose there could be a minute quantity of petroleum left. But it would be insanely deep within the Earth, at pressures so dangerously high that—",Bender,Let's go already!
Bender,Let's go already!,Hermes,Look! Mole coffins!
Hermes,Look! Mole coffins!,Amy,"Oh, no! We tunneled into a tunnel!"
Amy,"Oh, no! We tunneled into a tunnel!",Farnsworth,"What's our depth, Captain?"
Farnsworth,"What's our depth, Captain?",Leela,Forty kilometers. Fifty!
Leela,Forty kilometers. Fifty!,Bender,There must be petroleum oil down here somewhere. Go deeper! Deeper!
Bender,There must be petroleum oil down here somewhere. Go deeper! Deeper!,Bender,"Professor, I've never asked for anything before, but seeing those fembots glistening with oil means more to me than life itself."
Bender,"Professor, I've never asked for anything before, but seeing those fembots glistening with oil means more to me than life itself.",Farnsworth,"Brace yourselves, everyone!"
Farnsworth,"Brace yourselves, everyone!",Leela,One hundred kilometers! Two hundred!
Leela,One hundred kilometers! Two hundred!,Amy,"I hate to complain about the heat, but the air conditioner is on fire!"
Amy,"I hate to complain about the heat, but the air conditioner is on fire!",Leela,can celebrate Robanukah.
Leela,can celebrate Robanukah.,Bender,"You vile racist! Haven't my people suffered enough? Now keep drilling for that petroleum oil, you selfish cowards! Although, then again, I guess any kind of oil would be just as-"
Bender,"You vile racist! Haven't my people suffered enough? Now keep drilling for that petroleum oil, you selfish cowards! Although, then again, I guess any kind of oil would be just as-",Everybody,else
Everybody,else,Bender,Not my fault.
Bender,Not my fault.,Bender,who thought they were selfish!
Bender,who thought they were selfish!,Bender,"Doo, doo-doo-doo, doo, doo-doo, doo, doo, doo-Doo, DOO!"
Bender,"Doo, doo-doo-doo, doo, doo-doo, doo, doo, doo-Doo, DOO!",Bender,There was only enough petroleum for four and a half weeks of oil wrestling. But it lasted 500 million years! It's a miracle!
Bender,There was only enough petroleum for four and a half weeks of oil wrestling. But it lasted 500 million years! It's a miracle!,Bender,"Happy Robanukah, everyone! Coming up next, more thoughtful, interfaith hijinx!"
Bender,"Happy Robanukah, everyone! Coming up next, more thoughtful, interfaith hijinx!",Transition,"Announcer: And now, the unrelated conclusion."
Transition,"Announcer: And now, the unrelated conclusion.",Leela.,We brought a chocolate cake. But now I'm worried that might be offensive in some way.
Leela.,We brought a chocolate cake. But now I'm worried that might be offensive in some way.,Bubblegum,"Happy Kwanzaa, brother men and sister men."
Bubblegum,"Happy Kwanzaa, brother men and sister men.",Hermes,"Well, look at the cat the cat dragged in."
Hermes,"Well, look at the cat the cat dragged in.",Bubblegum,I'll sign it for you later.
Bubblegum,I'll sign it for you later.,Barbados,"Mon, it's a cold one out there."
Barbados,"Mon, it's a cold one out there.",Hermes,Barbados Slim?
Hermes,Barbados Slim?,LaBarbara,"Come in, Barbados. Look at yourself, all throbbing and shirtless for the holiday. I hope you're ready to celebrate."
LaBarbara,"Come in, Barbados. Look at yourself, all throbbing and shirtless for the holiday. I hope you're ready to celebrate.",Hermes,"I'm glad you all could be here with my family. Kwanzaa traditions are quite ancient, dating back over 1,000 years."
Hermes,"I'm glad you all could be here with my family. Kwanzaa traditions are quite ancient, dating back over 1,000 years.",Fry,Woah!
Fry,Woah!,Kwanzaa-bot,"Oh, yeah!"
Kwanzaa-bot,"Oh, yeah!",Dwight,here.
Dwight,here.,LaBarbara,"No, child. That's not a made-up character. It's Kwanzaa-bot."
LaBarbara,"No, child. That's not a made-up character. It's Kwanzaa-bot.",Kwanzaa-bot,"And I'm gonna tell you all how we celebrate Kwanzaa. Zoidberg, lay down a beat."
Kwanzaa-bot,"And I'm gonna tell you all how we celebrate Kwanzaa. Zoidberg, lay down a beat.",Zoidberg,How about I just lay down?
Zoidberg,How about I just lay down?,Kwanzaa-bot,The seven basic principles that go to make up Kwanzaa!
Kwanzaa-bot,The seven basic principles that go to make up Kwanzaa!,LaBarbara,Kujichagulia...
LaBarbara,Kujichagulia...,Barbados,and Bubblegum: And umoja...
Barbados,and Bubblegum: And umoja...,Hermes,And the rest.
Hermes,And the rest.,Planet,Express crew we get it!
Planet,Express crew we get it!,Kwanzaa-bot,Sit back down! There's gonna be a test.
Kwanzaa-bot,Sit back down! There's gonna be a test.,Bubblegum,Cooperative economics.
Bubblegum,Cooperative economics.,Barbados,Like the ever-changing nature of my sexual proclivities.
Barbados,Like the ever-changing nature of my sexual proclivities.,Kwanzaa-bot,"I think there's one called nia, but I don't speak Swahili,"
Kwanzaa-bot,"I think there's one called nia, but I don't speak Swahili,",Farnsworth,"That's from Xmas and Robanakuh, you plagiarizing lout!"
Farnsworth,"That's from Xmas and Robanakuh, you plagiarizing lout!",Kwanzaa-bot,"Yeah, I'm kinda losin' interest here. I'd best be rollin' out."
Kwanzaa-bot,"Yeah, I'm kinda losin' interest here. I'd best be rollin' out.",Dwight,"What's that, Black Santa?"
Dwight,"What's that, Black Santa?",Kwanzaa-bot,You need seven Kwanzaa candles that you light up every night.
Kwanzaa-bot,You need seven Kwanzaa candles that you light up every night.,Planet,Express crew: They must be made of beeswax or we might as well be white.
Planet,Express crew: They must be made of beeswax or we might as well be white.,LaBarbara,"Well, we got no beeswax candles, but these scented regular wax candles will do just fine."
LaBarbara,"Well, we got no beeswax candles, but these scented regular wax candles will do just fine.",Kwanzaa-bot,"Girl, those stink sticks are for single women who take baths. If your Kwanzaa candles ain't 100% beeswax, you bring shame on your people."
Kwanzaa-bot,"Girl, those stink sticks are for single women who take baths. If your Kwanzaa candles ain't 100% beeswax, you bring shame on your people.",LaBarbara,"Well, now that won't do. Husband, show a little ku'umba and fetch some beeswax before Kwanzaa ends."
LaBarbara,"Well, now that won't do. Husband, show a little ku'umba and fetch some beeswax before Kwanzaa ends.","Hermes,",LaBarbara! Isn't this the last night of Kwanzaa?
"Hermes,",LaBarbara! Isn't this the last night of Kwanzaa?,Kwanzaa-bot,Who the hell knows?
Kwanzaa-bot,Who the hell knows?,Hermes,"Finally, a bee farm that's open late on Kwanzaa. Madam, I need beeswax."
Hermes,"Finally, a bee farm that's open late on Kwanzaa. Madam, I need beeswax.",Petunia,"You sure you don't need a little honey, handsome? Maybe a taste of sweet nectar straight from the hive?"
Petunia,"You sure you don't need a little honey, handsome? Maybe a taste of sweet nectar straight from the hive?",Hermes,I just need some beeswax to make Kwanzaa candles.
Hermes,I just need some beeswax to make Kwanzaa candles.,Petunia,"Well, that's too darn bad. There ain't no beeswax in the whole world."
Petunia,"Well, that's too darn bad. There ain't no beeswax in the whole world.",Farnsworth,My God! It's Colony Collapse Syndrome. The bees are swarming with parasites. They're all dying.
Farnsworth,My God! It's Colony Collapse Syndrome. The bees are swarming with parasites. They're all dying.,Petunia,"Yeah, but what a way to go. Die young and leave a pretty corpse, that's what I say."
Petunia,"Yeah, but what a way to go. Die young and leave a pretty corpse, that's what I say.",Bender,You should say someth'n' else.
Bender,You should say someth'n' else.,"Fry,",and we swore we'd never go back there.
"Fry,",and we swore we'd never go back there.,Farnsworth,Let's go back there!
Farnsworth,Let's go back there!,Farnsworth.,"Bender, say something in bee talk."
Farnsworth.,"Bender, say something in bee talk.",Leela,we survive.
Leela,we survive.,Amy,Something's wrong. It's way too quiet.
Amy,Something's wrong. It's way too quiet.,Farnsworth,"Ah, here they come."
Farnsworth,"Ah, here they come.",Leela,That was weird. It's like the Jägermeister air show all over again.
Leela,That was weird. It's like the Jägermeister air show all over again.,Hermes,point 2 miles that way.
Hermes,point 2 miles that way.,Bender,"is? The big, fat, ugly, compound-eyed, hairy-thoraxed..."
Bender,"is? The big, fat, ugly, compound-eyed, hairy-thoraxed...",Queen,"Man, my hive's been going buck-wild since these blood-ganking butt crabs moved in."
Queen,"Man, my hive's been going buck-wild since these blood-ganking butt crabs moved in.",Zoidberg,"Been there, done that."
Zoidberg,"Been there, done that.",Farnsworth,"They're all infected, just like the bees on Earth."
Farnsworth,"They're all infected, just like the bees on Earth.",Queen,"Brother-sucking parasites gone and disrupted our hivemind. Now, instead of working in harmony, my bees just talk smack to each other."
Queen,"Brother-sucking parasites gone and disrupted our hivemind. Now, instead of working in harmony, my bees just talk smack to each other.",Bee,#1: Are you all black with yellow stripes or yellow with black stripes?
Bee,#1: Are you all black with yellow stripes or yellow with black stripes?,Bee,"#2: Yellow with black stripes, man."
Bee,"#2: Yellow with black stripes, man.",Bee,#1 Why don't you just move along?
Bee,#1 Why don't you just move along?,Bee,"#3: Let me ask you something, you sting my wife?"
Bee,"#3: Let me ask you something, you sting my wife?",Bee,#4
Bee,#4,Leela,"Okay, gang. We have plenty of beeswax. Let's get back to the ship."
Leela,"Okay, gang. We have plenty of beeswax. Let's get back to the ship.",Hermes,"these honeybees. Listen up, bees. It's Kwanzaa, a time of Umoja."
Hermes,"these honeybees. Listen up, bees. It's Kwanzaa, a time of Umoja.",Amy,It means unity.
Amy,It means unity.,Hermes,You have to learn to work together again.
Hermes,You have to learn to work together again.,Queen,The crazy tablecloth-man is right. It's time to set aside our differences.
Queen,The crazy tablecloth-man is right. It's time to set aside our differences.,Bee,"#1 Black stripe, yellow stripe. At the end o' day, we're just a couple of darn talking space bees."
Bee,"#1 Black stripe, yellow stripe. At the end o' day, we're just a couple of darn talking space bees.",Bee,#3
Bee,#3,Farnsworth,"Look, the spirit of Kwanzaa is killing the parasites."
Farnsworth,"Look, the spirit of Kwanzaa is killing the parasites.",Fry,"Yuck, but yay!"
Fry,"Yuck, but yay!",Queen,"Thank you, my human brother. Your message of unity has touched our souls. We are once again of a single hive-mind."
Queen,"Thank you, my human brother. Your message of unity has touched our souls. We are once again of a single hive-mind.",Kwanzaa-bot,"Oh, yeah."
Kwanzaa-bot,"Oh, yeah.",Zoidberg,"Aw, they killed him."
Zoidberg,"Aw, they killed him.",Hermes,"Joyous Kwanzaa, everybody."
Hermes,"Joyous Kwanzaa, everybody.",Gore,"And from all of us here at Gunderson's Nuts, happy holidays."
Gore,"And from all of us here at Gunderson's Nuts, happy holidays.",Professor,"Farnsworth Then good news, everyone! Our next delivery isn't to some dangerous, outer-space planet. It's to Earth!"
Professor,"Farnsworth Then good news, everyone! Our next delivery isn't to some dangerous, outer-space planet. It's to Earth!",Fry,"Ow! Quit it, Earth."
Fry,"Ow! Quit it, Earth.",Leela,We won't even have to leave New New York! The package is going to Long Long Island.
Leela,We won't even have to leave New New York! The package is going to Long Long Island.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Yes, to the lavish Mafia-style villa of the Donbot."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Yes, to the lavish Mafia-style villa of the Donbot.",Bender,It looks like a pair of clamps!
Bender,It looks like a pair of clamps!,Clamps,These are all rusted-out with snitch juice!
Clamps,These are all rusted-out with snitch juice!,Donbot,"You don't want the Space Pope to see a clampin' now, do ya?"
Donbot,"You don't want the Space Pope to see a clampin' now, do ya?",Clamps,"Aw, jeez. I forgot my Pope manners."
Clamps,"Aw, jeez. I forgot my Pope manners.",Space,"Pope: Dearly beloved, it is with great speed that I now pronounce you husband and wife."
Space,"Pope: Dearly beloved, it is with great speed that I now pronounce you husband and wife.",Donbot,What the—
Donbot,What the—,Joey,Mousepad: May I help you with some assistance?
Joey,Mousepad: May I help you with some assistance?,Leela,Francis X. Clampazzo?
Leela,Francis X. Clampazzo?,Joey,Mousepad: We don't got nobody here by that alias.
Joey,Mousepad: We don't got nobody here by that alias.,Clamps,Are those my new clamps?
Clamps,Are those my new clamps?,Joey,Mousepad: Your name's Francis?
Joey,Mousepad: Your name's Francis?,Bender,What's not to sneak into?
Bender,What's not to sneak into?,Leela,"Bender, you can't crash a mob wedding."
Leela,"Bender, you can't crash a mob wedding.",Bender,"You forget, Leela, I'm Bender, owner of disguise."
Bender,"You forget, Leela, I'm Bender, owner of disguise.",Space,"Pope: And now, ladies and gentlemen, my good friend... Calculon!"
Space,"Pope: And now, ladies and gentlemen, my good friend... Calculon!",Calculon,Calculon! Calculon!
Calculon,Calculon! Calculon!,Bender,to this tacky soirée?
Bender,to this tacky soirée?,Donbot's,eldest daughter: I'm the bride!
Donbot's,eldest daughter: I'm the bride!,"Bender,",baby? Wanna do it?
"Bender,",baby? Wanna do it?,Fanny,"Bender, it's me, Fanny!"
Fanny,"Bender, it's me, Fanny!",Bender,You who?
Bender,You who?,Fanny,The Donbot's wife? We had an affair?
Fanny,The Donbot's wife? We had an affair?,Bender,"Jeez, I'd better be a little more careful. I don't wanna hit on anybody I already had sex with."
Bender,"Jeez, I'd better be a little more careful. I don't wanna hit on anybody I already had sex with.",Fanny,"Hiya, Bella!"
Fanny,"Hiya, Bella!",Bella,"Hi, Mom!"
Bella,"Hi, Mom!",Bender,What about you? You're my third choice.
Bender,What about you? You're my third choice.,Bella,"Oh, Bender! This is all happening too slowly. Let's get married!"
Bella,"Oh, Bender! This is all happening too slowly. Let's get married!",Bender,Hold your clapper. Someone's comin'!
Bender,Hold your clapper. Someone's comin'!,Calculon,"Donbot, please. I'll pay you back as soon as you lend me some more money."
Calculon,"Donbot, please. I'll pay you back as soon as you lend me some more money.",Donbot,"Clamps, here are your new clamps."
Donbot,"Clamps, here are your new clamps.",Clamps,Clamps!
Clamps,Clamps!,Calculon,No!
Calculon,No!,Bella,And guys who mess around with his daughters...
Bella,And guys who mess around with his daughters...,Bella,And attempt to duplicate his meatball recipe.
Bella,And attempt to duplicate his meatball recipe.,Leela,"How was the wedding, Bender?"
Leela,"How was the wedding, Bender?",Bender,Says who?! I didn't witness anything!
Bender,Says who?! I didn't witness anything!,Morbo,"In entertainment news, two-time Oscar-pool winner Calculon was brutally clamped yesterday by an unknown assailant."
Morbo,"In entertainment news, two-time Oscar-pool winner Calculon was brutally clamped yesterday by an unknown assailant.",Amy,Poor Calculon.
Amy,Poor Calculon.,Bender,I'm scared and great at sex!
Bender,I'm scared and great at sex!,Leela,"Bender, you need to go to the police and tell them a tastefully edited version of what you just said."
Leela,"Bender, you need to go to the police and tell them a tastefully edited version of what you just said.",Bender,This secret goes to my grave!
Bender,This secret goes to my grave!,Male,voice fifty-dollar reward.
Male,voice fifty-dollar reward.,Bender,"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! And— And then Calculon said, No. No!"
Bender,"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! And— And then Calculon said, No. No!",Bender,Can I have my fifty bucks now?
Bender,Can I have my fifty bucks now?,Robot,Stack court.
Robot,Stack court.,Bender,No. No! Can I have another fifty dollars?
Bender,No. No! Can I have another fifty dollars?,Robot,Stack: No.
Robot,Stack: No.,Bender,No?
Bender,No?,Robot,Stack: No!
Robot,Stack: No!,Bender,No!
Bender,No!,Bailiff,All rise for the honourable Judge 723.
Bailiff,All rise for the honourable Judge 723.,Judge,723: Be seated. Organised crime is a plague on our society and I will not tolerate any form of intimidation during—
Judge,723: Be seated. Organised crime is a plague on our society and I will not tolerate any form of intimidation during—,Bailiff,All rise for the honourable Judge 724.
Bailiff,All rise for the honourable Judge 724.,Judge,"724: Good day. I'd like to say I'm prepared to tolerate several, if not all, forms of intimidation during this trial. Prosecutor?"
Judge,"724: Good day. I'd like to say I'm prepared to tolerate several, if not all, forms of intimidation during this trial. Prosecutor?",Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour, the prosecution pecks for a mistrial on the grounds of jury tamperin'!"
Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour, the prosecution pecks for a mistrial on the grounds of jury tamperin'!",Judge,724: Donbot?
Judge,724: Donbot?,Donbot,Motion denied.
Donbot,Motion denied.,Judge,"724: Prosecutor, call your first witness."
Judge,"724: Prosecutor, call your first witness.",Hyper-Chicken,he's in grave danger.
Hyper-Chicken,he's in grave danger.,Bella,"Bender, I've been looking for you! Which cake do you like better for our wedding?!"
Bella,"Bender, I've been looking for you! Which cake do you like better for our wedding?!",Donbot,Bender?
Donbot,Bender?,Bender,That was close.
Bender,That was close.,Yellow,and red manbot made up yourself called burglarcenarsony?
Yellow,and red manbot made up yourself called burglarcenarsony?,Bender,"That's a wholly-owned trademark of Rodríguez Crime Concepts Inc.! Besides, I'm not on trial here!"
Bender,"That's a wholly-owned trademark of Rodríguez Crime Concepts Inc.! Besides, I'm not on trial here!",Judge,724 You're on trial in courtroom three.
Judge,724 You're on trial in courtroom three.,Judge,802: You are charged with two counts of burglarcenarsony. How do you plead?
Judge,802: You are charged with two counts of burglarcenarsony. How do you plead?,Bender,Not inno-guilty-cent!
Bender,Not inno-guilty-cent!,Bender,"And then the Donbot said, Sorry, Calculon."
Bender,"And then the Donbot said, Sorry, Calculon.",Bender,"And then Calculon said, No!"
Bender,"And then Calculon said, No!",Donbot,I think we've heard enough.
Donbot,I think we've heard enough.,Bender,Now I'm finished.
Bender,Now I'm finished.,Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour, the prosecution roosts."
Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour, the prosecution roosts.",Judge,724 a verdict?
Judge,724 a verdict?,Hedonism,"Bot: Indeed. After a steamy twelve-way deliberation, we find the accused guilty as—"
Hedonism,"Bot: Indeed. After a steamy twelve-way deliberation, we find the accused guilty as—",Calculon,The Donbot is innocent!
Calculon,The Donbot is innocent!,Judge,"724: Calculon, who is that escorting you?"
Judge,"724: Calculon, who is that escorting you?",Hedonism,Bot: Yes. Who?
Hedonism,Bot: Yes. Who?,Calculon,"For, you see, I'm a big Hollywood idiot dumb guy what does that sorta thing."
Calculon,"For, you see, I'm a big Hollywood idiot dumb guy what does that sorta thing.",Joey,Mousepad: Perfect.
Joey,Mousepad: Perfect.,Hedonism,Bot: We find the Donbot...
Hedonism,Bot: We find the Donbot...,Calculon,Dramatic pause...
Calculon,Dramatic pause...,Hedonism,Bot: Not guilty!
Hedonism,Bot: Not guilty!,Amy,What?
Amy,What?,Donbot,"Honey, if you're marryin' Bender, ya might wanna get a black dress for the wedding."
Donbot,"Honey, if you're marryin' Bender, ya might wanna get a black dress for the wedding.",Bella,That's gonna look hot!
Bella,That's gonna look hot!,Robot,Stack I don't want it anymore.
Robot,Stack I don't want it anymore.,Bender,So I gotta hide forever?!
Bender,So I gotta hide forever?!,Robot,Stack They're pretty good at that.
Robot,Stack They're pretty good at that.,Bender,"Leela, you'll have to watch out for Fry now."
Bender,"Leela, you'll have to watch out for Fry now.",Leela,"Oh, Lord."
Leela,"Oh, Lord.",Fry,"I wish I could go with you, pal."
Fry,"I wish I could go with you, pal.",Bender,Me too. I'll need a butler.
Bender,Me too. I'll need a butler.,Robot,"Stack: Bender, we have to go."
Robot,"Stack: Bender, we have to go.",Professor,Farnsworth Let's hire someone better!
Professor,Farnsworth Let's hire someone better!,Donbot,Clamps!
Donbot,Clamps!,Clamps,Huh?
Clamps,Huh?,Donbot,"Listen to my boss words. I would like you to apply for Bender's old job and cosy up to this Fry, his best friend."
Donbot,"Listen to my boss words. I would like you to apply for Bender's old job and cosy up to this Fry, his best friend.",Clamps,"Sorry, toots."
Clamps,"Sorry, toots.",Donbot,"No, Clamps. No clamps. Sooner or later, Bender will contact Fry... As relocated squealers always do."
Donbot,"No, Clamps. No clamps. Sooner or later, Bender will contact Fry... As relocated squealers always do.",Joey,Mousepad: Then with the clamps... Francis.
Joey,Mousepad: Then with the clamps... Francis.,Clamps,with the Francis!
Clamps,with the Francis!,Joey,Mousepad: Ay! Oh! Take it ease.
Joey,Mousepad: Ay! Oh! Take it ease.,Clamps,"Hey there, Slick. I'm 'ere about the job."
Clamps,"Hey there, Slick. I'm 'ere about the job.",Hermes,We'll begin the interview shortly.
Hermes,We'll begin the interview shortly.,Hermes,We'll start with Andrew.
Hermes,We'll start with Andrew.,Clamps,"Yeah, they all kinda broke. So... When do I start?"
Clamps,"Yeah, they all kinda broke. So... When do I start?",Hermes,is Francis.
Hermes,is Francis.,Fry,"Hey, Francis."
Fry,"Hey, Francis.",Professor,"Farnsworth: Hello, Francis."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Hello, Francis.",Leela,Hello.
Leela,Hello.,Amy,Cute name.
Amy,Cute name.,Hermes,Look what he can do.
Hermes,Look what he can do.,Clamps,"Yeah, I do it all. Clampin', crimpin', occasional snippin'."
Clamps,"Yeah, I do it all. Clampin', crimpin', occasional snippin'.",Professor,"Farnsworth Looks like you may be out of a job, Zoidberg."
Professor,"Farnsworth Looks like you may be out of a job, Zoidberg.",Zoidberg,"That's all good fun. But, of course, a clamp is no substitute for the precision of a genuine—"
Zoidberg,"That's all good fun. But, of course, a clamp is no substitute for the precision of a genuine—",Amy,"Francis, would you do the honours?"
Amy,"Francis, would you do the honours?",Zoidberg,Stay off my turf!
Zoidberg,Stay off my turf!,Clamps,That guy can bite my shiny metal clamps.
Clamps,That guy can bite my shiny metal clamps.,Fry,You remind me of my old friend Bender.
Fry,You remind me of my old friend Bender.,Clamps,"Oh, yeah? Where does he safely live?"
Clamps,"Oh, yeah? Where does he safely live?",Fry,"I dunno. Hey, you wanna come to my house and play?"
Fry,"I dunno. Hey, you wanna come to my house and play?",Clamps,Yeah. Sounds like freakin' fun.
Clamps,Yeah. Sounds like freakin' fun.,Clamps,Four stinkin' years of clampin' school for this?
Clamps,Four stinkin' years of clampin' school for this?,Zoidberg,"Sorry if I was a little hostile before, but snipping is the only reason I'm even tolerated around here. Not like you, with those magnificent squeezers!"
Zoidberg,"Sorry if I was a little hostile before, but snipping is the only reason I'm even tolerated around here. Not like you, with those magnificent squeezers!",Clamps,Francis?
Clamps,Francis?,Professor,Farnsworth To the Moon!
Professor,Farnsworth To the Moon!,Clamps,Fan--in'-tastic!
Clamps,Fan--in'-tastic!,Fry,"Here's the two-hundred feet of rope you ordered, Sheriff Burley."
Fry,"Here's the two-hundred feet of rope you ordered, Sheriff Burley.",Sheriff,"Burley Well, best start cuttin' the nooses."
Sheriff,"Burley Well, best start cuttin' the nooses.",Leela,Francis!
Leela,Francis!,Leela,"Nice job, Francis! I liked how you didn't get drunk and steal anyone's organs. Like our old Robot—"
Leela,"Nice job, Francis! I liked how you didn't get drunk and steal anyone's organs. Like our old Robot—",Fry,"Bender! It's me, Fry!"
Fry,"Bender! It's me, Fry!",Donbot,"I knew Bender would turn up purely by coincidence. Take care of 'im, but do it quietly."
Donbot,"I knew Bender would turn up purely by coincidence. Take care of 'im, but do it quietly.",Clamps,Don't worry. We're in space. Where no one can hear you clamp!
Clamps,Don't worry. We're in space. Where no one can hear you clamp!,Hermes,What do you know? The Feds gave Bender a new identity as a Moon farmer.
Hermes,What do you know? The Feds gave Bender a new identity as a Moon farmer.,Fry,"Well, he must be afraid to break character in case there's any Robot Mafia scuzzballs around."
Fry,"Well, he must be afraid to break character in case there's any Robot Mafia scuzzballs around.",Clamps,Huh?
Clamps,Huh?,Amy,Come on! Let's go check on 'im!
Amy,Come on! Let's go check on 'im!,Clamps,I checked on a guy once. I checked 'im into tiny pieces!
Clamps,I checked on a guy once. I checked 'im into tiny pieces!,Hydroponic,farmer Billy!
Hydroponic,farmer Billy!,Bender,"Yes, Moon pa?"
Bender,"Yes, Moon pa?",Hydroponic,"farmer: These nice, big-city hillbillies are lookin' for someone named Bender. You know 'im?"
Hydroponic,"farmer: These nice, big-city hillbillies are lookin' for someone named Bender. You know 'im?",Bender,"No, he ain't any of the eight people I ever met."
Bender,"No, he ain't any of the eight people I ever met.",Fry,"Bender, it's us, your friends. You can drop the hillbilling moron act."
Fry,"Bender, it's us, your friends. You can drop the hillbilling moron act.",Bender,"Sorry, mister, but I'm no Bender. I'm just a simple farmer. Name's Billy West!"
Bender,"Sorry, mister, but I'm no Bender. I'm just a simple farmer. Name's Billy West!",Fry,"Billy West. What a stupid, phony, made-up name!"
Fry,"Billy West. What a stupid, phony, made-up name!",Hydroponic,farmer: You city folk are probably hungry from premarital sex and flag burnin'. Y'all wanna stay for supper?
Hydroponic,farmer: You city folk are probably hungry from premarital sex and flag burnin'. Y'all wanna stay for supper?,Amy,I could have a bite.
Amy,I could have a bite.,Billy,"West Robot wife, the Crushinator. She's servin' up the dinner and the charm."
Billy,"West Robot wife, the Crushinator. She's servin' up the dinner and the charm.",Crushinator,"Mashed chicken, Mr. Fry?"
Crushinator,"Mashed chicken, Mr. Fry?",Fry,Sure!
Fry,Sure!,Clamps,"So, uh... Billy... Where were you born?"
Clamps,"So, uh... Billy... Where were you born?",Billy,West: Right here in Moon country!
Billy,West: Right here in Moon country!,Professor,Farnsworth: And how long have you been a farmer?
Professor,Farnsworth: And how long have you been a farmer?,Billy,West a farmer. Folks say my momma was a hoe.
Billy,West a farmer. Folks say my momma was a hoe.,Leela,"Oh, dear! I seem to have warped my fork! Could you bend it back for me? Billy?"
Leela,"Oh, dear! I seem to have warped my fork! Could you bend it back for me? Billy?",Billy,West I can't even lift it. Which is weird... Seein' as how my daddy was a forklift.
Billy,West I can't even lift it. Which is weird... Seein' as how my daddy was a forklift.,Leela,Wow! Bender is really committed to his new Jethrovian identity!
Leela,Wow! Bender is really committed to his new Jethrovian identity!,Billy,"West: If y'all are all finished, I'll drive y'all back to town in the old clunker."
Billy,"West: If y'all are all finished, I'll drive y'all back to town in the old clunker.",Billy,West: So... Y'all flew here in a spacey-ship?
Billy,West: So... Y'all flew here in a spacey-ship?,Hermes,Stop talking like that! You live on the Moon!
Hermes,Stop talking like that! You live on the Moon!,Fry,"Bender, I guess he's just happier in his new life."
Fry,"Bender, I guess he's just happier in his new life.",Professor,"Farnsworth to believe anyone is happy! Mr. West, would you mind if I examined your brain?"
Professor,"Farnsworth to believe anyone is happy! Mr. West, would you mind if I examined your brain?",Billy,"West: Examine? Heck. If you can find it, you can keep it."
Billy,"West: Examine? Heck. If you can find it, you can keep it.",Professor,"Farnsworth Bender's hard drive no longer contains any of his old memories. When the Feds bumpkinised him, they completely wiped out his old identity!"
Professor,"Farnsworth Bender's hard drive no longer contains any of his old memories. When the Feds bumpkinised him, they completely wiped out his old identity!",Billy,"West So long, space heroes!"
Billy,"West So long, space heroes!",Fry,You sure you don't wanna kill all Humans?
Fry,You sure you don't wanna kill all Humans?,Billy,West: Pfff! I love all Humans!
Billy,West: Pfff! I love all Humans!,Fry,He really is gone.
Fry,He really is gone.,Fry,Francis?
Fry,Francis?,Billy,"West: One sasparoil, Sheriff! I'm thirsty!"
Billy,"West: One sasparoil, Sheriff! I'm thirsty!",Sheriff,Burley: Make it two. I'm greedy.
Sheriff,Burley: Make it two. I'm greedy.,Clamps,Now let's take this outside so's no one else gets clamped.
Clamps,Now let's take this outside so's no one else gets clamped.,Billy,"West: You're the boss, stranger!"
Billy,"West: You're the boss, stranger!",Clamps,"I'm gonna clamp your body parts off one by one. But, then, I'm gonna clamp your wounds shut so ya stay alive... While I clamp ya some more. Say your prayers, stoolie."
Clamps,"I'm gonna clamp your body parts off one by one. But, then, I'm gonna clamp your wounds shut so ya stay alive... While I clamp ya some more. Say your prayers, stoolie.",Billy,West God bless grandma and grandpa—
Billy,West God bless grandma and grandpa—,Clamps,"They're next! Right now, I'm gonna cut your damn head off!"
Clamps,"They're next! Right now, I'm gonna cut your damn head off!",Zoidberg,do the cutting around here.
Zoidberg,do the cutting around here.,Clamps,"This ain't none of your business, Slick."
Clamps,"This ain't none of your business, Slick.",Zoidberg,John -ing Zoidberg!
Zoidberg,John -ing Zoidberg!,Fry,You'll hurt Francis!
Fry,You'll hurt Francis!,Clamps,"Oh, yeah? Take this! That that!"
Clamps,"Oh, yeah? Take this! That that!",Zoidberg,Oy!
Zoidberg,Oy!,Clamps,I'm gonna clamp ya!
Clamps,I'm gonna clamp ya!,Zoidberg,Ow. Ow. Ow.
Zoidberg,Ow. Ow. Ow.,Clamps,Looks like an all-you-can-kill lobster fest.
Clamps,Looks like an all-you-can-kill lobster fest.,Zoidberg,That offer was for a limited time only.
Zoidberg,That offer was for a limited time only.,Clamps,My clamps!
Clamps,My clamps!,Fry,"Why, Zoidberg?! Why?!"
Fry,"Why, Zoidberg?! Why?!",Zoidberg,Because our friend Francis here is in reality... A bad murderer.
Zoidberg,Because our friend Francis here is in reality... A bad murderer.,Billy,West This here crawdad done saved my life!
Billy,West This here crawdad done saved my life!,Bella,"I put off my singing career for you! And, if I can't have you, no one can!"
Bella,"I put off my singing career for you! And, if I can't have you, no one can!",Billy,"West: Aw, shucks."
Billy,"West: Aw, shucks.",Fry,Bender!
Fry,Bender!,Leela,No!
Leela,No!,Hermes,What?
Hermes,What?,Donbot,"Maybe the best there ever was. We'll send his widow some meatballs. Clamps, Bella, get in the way-back."
Donbot,"Maybe the best there ever was. We'll send his widow some meatballs. Clamps, Bella, get in the way-back.",Fry,To my friend Bender. A wise man once said he was a helluva squealer. Maybe the best there ever was.
Fry,To my friend Bender. A wise man once said he was a helluva squealer. Maybe the best there ever was.,All,To Bender!
All,To Bender!,Bender,We are still waitin' for it to be delivered.
Bender,We are still waitin' for it to be delivered.,Fry,Bender?!
Fry,Bender?!,Bender,I'm no Bender. You got me mixed up with another Robot.
Bender,I'm no Bender. You got me mixed up with another Robot.,Fry,I don't really remember what he looks like.
Fry,I don't really remember what he looks like.,Bender,"Guys! Guys! It's me, Bender!"
Bender,"Guys! Guys! It's me, Bender!",Fry,He's alive!
Fry,He's alive!,Leela,So that Moon hillbilly who got murdered was just an innocent husband and father!
Leela,So that Moon hillbilly who got murdered was just an innocent husband and father!,Professor,"Farnsworth: Bender, old bot, the Mafia thinks you're dead! You can come back to work with us!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Bender, old bot, the Mafia thinks you're dead! You can come back to work with us!",Bender,"I'm back, baby!"
Bender,"I'm back, baby!",Brown-haired,man: Pizza's here.
Brown-haired,man: Pizza's here.,Bender,I'll just cut that.
Bender,I'll just cut that.,Zoidberg,You do and I'll -ing gut you like a fish!
Zoidberg,You do and I'll -ing gut you like a fish!,Leela,Where's the Professor?
Leela,Where's the Professor?,Bender,"Eh, probably dead. Already dissolving in a bathtub if we're lucky."
Bender,"Eh, probably dead. Already dissolving in a bathtub if we're lucky.",Professor,Farnsworth It's been fifty years since they disappeared.
Professor,Farnsworth It's been fifty years since they disappeared.,Fry,"Huh. I knew you had other crews, but you never told us you had a first crew."
Fry,"Huh. I knew you had other crews, but you never told us you had a first crew.",Professor,Farnsworth: I remember it like it was interesting.
Professor,Farnsworth: I remember it like it was interesting.,Professor,Farnsworth: I had just built my new shipping and receiving emporium.
Professor,Farnsworth: I had just built my new shipping and receiving emporium.,Professor,Farnsworth: And I scoured the hardware-store parking lot to assemble the finest crew imaginable.
Professor,Farnsworth: And I scoured the hardware-store parking lot to assemble the finest crew imaginable.,Professor,"Farnsworth And Captain Lando Tucker, a dedicated young man with no characteristics."
Professor,"Farnsworth And Captain Lando Tucker, a dedicated young man with no characteristics.",Lando,Tucker: We'll deliver that package or die trying.
Lando,Tucker: We'll deliver that package or die trying.,Zoidberg,Eh! It's all my favourite patients. And also Captain Tucker. Pow!
Zoidberg,Eh! It's all my favourite patients. And also Captain Tucker. Pow!,Candy,Whoa!
Candy,Whoa!,Lando,Tucker You're hilarious.
Lando,Tucker You're hilarious.,Hermes,Zoidberg was popular?!
Hermes,Zoidberg was popular?!,Amy,Zoidberg had hair?!
Amy,Zoidberg had hair?!,Professor,Farnsworth Anyway...
Professor,Farnsworth Anyway...,Professor,Farnsworth: The time came for our first delivery.
Professor,Farnsworth: The time came for our first delivery.,Young,"woman: Lando, don't forget about me and Junior."
Young,"woman: Lando, don't forget about me and Junior.",Lando,Tucker Or die trying.
Lando,Tucker Or die trying.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Well, crew, this is it. That cookie bouquet isn't going to deliver itself."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Well, crew, this is it. That cookie bouquet isn't going to deliver itself.",Professor,Farnsworth: Ten...
Professor,Farnsworth: Ten...,Professor,Farnsworth One.
Professor,Farnsworth One.,Scientist,"Go, you big metal bird! Get up there!"
Scientist,"Go, you big metal bird! Get up there!",Hermes,Zoidberg had friends?!
Hermes,Zoidberg had friends?!,Zoidberg,It was a different time.
Zoidberg,It was a different time.,Professor,"Farnsworth Suddenly, Amanda's aunt called to say her niece hadn't received her cookie bouquet."
Professor,"Farnsworth Suddenly, Amanda's aunt called to say her niece hadn't received her cookie bouquet.",Professor,Farnsworth: I watched the skies for weeks. With only occasional breaks to tender my grief diarrhea.
Professor,Farnsworth: I watched the skies for weeks. With only occasional breaks to tender my grief diarrhea.,Professor,Farnsworth: Just when all hope was lost...
Professor,Farnsworth: Just when all hope was lost...,Professor,"Farnsworth What happened up there, Johnny?"
Professor,"Farnsworth What happened up there, Johnny?",Zoidberg,"Aw! Don't make me remember! So horrible, it was."
Zoidberg,"Aw! Don't make me remember! So horrible, it was.",Amy,I thought you said he didn't have hair.
Amy,I thought you said he didn't have hair.,Professor,"Farnsworth Just so it could turn white! Sadly, my brave crew was gone forever."
Professor,"Farnsworth Just so it could turn white! Sadly, my brave crew was gone forever.",Leela,"What do you think happened, Professor?"
Leela,"What do you think happened, Professor?",Professor,Farnsworth: They were lost in the Bermuda Tetrahedron!
Professor,Farnsworth: They were lost in the Bermuda Tetrahedron!,Leela,The Bermuda Tetrahedron is just a myth.
Leela,The Bermuda Tetrahedron is just a myth.,Professor,Farnsworth The Bermuda Tetrahedron!
Professor,Farnsworth The Bermuda Tetrahedron!,Leela,Or we could fly around it.
Leela,Or we could fly around it.,Professor,Farnsworth: Of course you could! You'd be stupid not to.
Professor,Farnsworth: Of course you could! You'd be stupid not to.,Bender,"Supposing we're not stupid, what kinda stupid mission is this?!"
Bender,"Supposing we're not stupid, what kinda stupid mission is this?!",Professor,"Farnsworth Plus, a popsicle cart!"
Professor,"Farnsworth Plus, a popsicle cart!",Leela,"You can count on us, Professor. We'll get that monument here in time."
Leela,"You can count on us, Professor. We'll get that monument here in time.",Bender,Hooray!
Bender,Hooray!,Amy,Woohoo!
Amy,Woohoo!,Bender,Yeah!
Bender,Yeah!,Leela,Or die trying.
Leela,Or die trying.,Zoidberg,We're gonna try— What?
Zoidberg,We're gonna try— What?,Green,Alien: 'Ere you go. In memory of the 1st Planet Express ship and it's crew.
Green,Alien: 'Ere you go. In memory of the 1st Planet Express ship and it's crew.,Leela.,What the hell's wrong with you?!
Leela.,What the hell's wrong with you?!,Green,Alien It's a miracle we can even speak English.
Green,Alien It's a miracle we can even speak English.,Leela,I insist you recarve the entire statue correctly.
Leela,I insist you recarve the entire statue correctly.,Green,"Alien: Okay. Okay. Hey, Charlie! Hack off another block of ivory!"
Green,"Alien: Okay. Okay. Hey, Charlie! Hack off another block of ivory!",Amy,"Well, the statue's perfect now."
Amy,"Well, the statue's perfect now.",Leela,We'll make it. Or die trying.
Leela,We'll make it. Or die trying.,Fry,Whoa!
Fry,Whoa!,Leela,We're cutting through the Bermuda Tetrahedron.
Leela,We're cutting through the Bermuda Tetrahedron.,Bender,Tetrahedron?
Bender,Tetrahedron?,Zoidberg,Aw... I think I'm remembering that thing I forgot.
Zoidberg,Aw... I think I'm remembering that thing I forgot.,Amy,Uh-oh. The dials are terrified!
Amy,Uh-oh. The dials are terrified!,Leela,Brace yourselves. It's Tickle Me Elmo's fire!
Leela,Brace yourselves. It's Tickle Me Elmo's fire!,Bender,Ow.
Bender,Ow.,Leela,There. See? It was no big thing.
Leela,There. See? It was no big thing.,Hermes,What was that big thing?
Hermes,What was that big thing?,Fry,It's a spaceship graveyard.  Why did we have to come 'ere at night?
Fry,It's a spaceship graveyard.  Why did we have to come 'ere at night?,Leela,Over there! It's the original Planet Express ship!
Leela,Over there! It's the original Planet Express ship!,Amy,What caused all that damage?
Amy,What caused all that damage?,Amy,Could it've been flavour-blasted?
Amy,Could it've been flavour-blasted?,Leela,Everyone suit up!
Leela,Everyone suit up!,Leela,The table is still set from McDonald's value dinner!
Leela,The table is still set from McDonald's value dinner!,Zoidberg,I have closure.
Zoidberg,I have closure.,Amy,"Hey, Zoidberg. You're cockatieling."
Amy,"Hey, Zoidberg. You're cockatieling.",Zoidberg,What's happening?!
Zoidberg,What's happening?!,Zoidberg,"Oh, right! And there was a giant killer space whale."
Zoidberg,"Oh, right! And there was a giant killer space whale.",Bender,It's a giant space fish!
Bender,It's a giant space fish!,Leela,It's a space mammal.
Leela,It's a space mammal.,Bender,"Wow, interesting. I'm both impressed and being eaten."
Bender,"Wow, interesting. I'm both impressed and being eaten.",Hermes,"Spacewalk, people! Spacewalk for your lives!"
Hermes,"Spacewalk, people! Spacewalk for your lives!",Fry,"Man, look at 'im go! Like a millionaire on a cocktail wiener."
Fry,"Man, look at 'im go! Like a millionaire on a cocktail wiener.",Zoidberg,Woob.
Zoidberg,Woob.,Leela,I did it! I outran 'im!
Leela,I did it! I outran 'im!,Zoidberg,"Relax, friends."
Zoidberg,"Relax, friends.",Zoidberg,"Panic, jerks!"
Zoidberg,"Panic, jerks!",Hermes,It's a four-dimensional space whale!
Hermes,It's a four-dimensional space whale!,Amy,Of course! And it only breaches into our 3-D universe to hunt and fill its lungs with vacuum!
Amy,Of course! And it only breaches into our 3-D universe to hunt and fill its lungs with vacuum!,Leela,"Whatever its beef is, our one mission now is to get that monument to Earth."
Leela,"Whatever its beef is, our one mission now is to get that monument to Earth.",Leela,Correction: Our one mission now is to avenge the loss of that monument.
Leela,Correction: Our one mission now is to avenge the loss of that monument.,Amy,Shmeesh! He gonked off the engines!
Amy,Shmeesh! He gonked off the engines!,Leela,Raise the solar sails. I'm goin' after that Möbius Dick.
Leela,Raise the solar sails. I'm goin' after that Möbius Dick.,Hermes,"You been hittin' the Red Stripe, woman!"
Hermes,"You been hittin' the Red Stripe, woman!",Leela,I could marry you and Bender against your will if I wanted to.
Leela,I could marry you and Bender against your will if I wanted to.,Hermes,You wouldn't dare!
Hermes,You wouldn't dare!,Bender,I've been married to worse.
Bender,I've been married to worse.,Fry,You're risking all our lives for your own personal obsession.
Fry,You're risking all our lives for your own personal obsession.,Leela,"That thing screwed up my delivery! This time, it's business!"
Leela,"That thing screwed up my delivery! This time, it's business!",Leela,"Maybe, if I move the compass like this, it will somehow kill the whale."
Leela,"Maybe, if I move the compass like this, it will somehow kill the whale.",Amy,"Leela, we need to talk. You've gone from crazy like a fox to crazy like Fox News!"
Amy,"Leela, we need to talk. You've gone from crazy like a fox to crazy like Fox News!",Leela,"In my dreams, I've peered beyond its eyes and into the cackling hell within us all."
Leela,"In my dreams, I've peered beyond its eyes and into the cackling hell within us all.",Fry,That's a good point.
Fry,That's a good point.,Bender,It's a mutiny led by Fry!
Bender,It's a mutiny led by Fry!,Leela,"That's enough insubordination, Mr. Fry!"
Leela,"That's enough insubordination, Mr. Fry!",Bender,String 'im up!
Bender,String 'im up!,Bender,Look! Off in the distance! It's exhaling!
Bender,Look! Off in the distance! It's exhaling!,Leela,Use boaty talk!
Leela,Use boaty talk!,Bender,Thare she blows!
Bender,Thare she blows!,Leela,Which of you space dogs has the guts and know-how to harpoon that whale?
Leela,Which of you space dogs has the guts and know-how to harpoon that whale?,Amy,I spent a semester in Africa harpooning giraffes. And giraffes are basically just land space whales.
Amy,I spent a semester in Africa harpooning giraffes. And giraffes are basically just land space whales.,Leela,"Miss Wong, you have the 'poon."
Leela,"Miss Wong, you have the 'poon.",Amy,"Oh, God! I'm having a Serengeti flashback! Die, you dirty giraffe!"
Amy,"Oh, God! I'm having a Serengeti flashback! Die, you dirty giraffe!",Amy,"Well, I got it. Now what, Captain?"
Amy,"Well, I got it. Now what, Captain?",Leela,I guess I thought whales died when you harpooned them.
Leela,I guess I thought whales died when you harpooned them.,Leela,Don't worry.
Leela,Don't worry.,Leela,I'll drop the anchor.
Leela,I'll drop the anchor.,Zoidberg,Ouch.
Zoidberg,Ouch.,Hermes,She's diving into the fourth dimension!
Hermes,She's diving into the fourth dimension!,Amy,We have to cut the rope!
Amy,We have to cut the rope!,Leela,We're goin' for a sleigh ride.
Leela,We're goin' for a sleigh ride.,Hermes,I can see sideways in time.
Hermes,I can see sideways in time.,Amy,"IGC ees I, eej."
Amy,"IGC ees I, eej.",Fry,Poop!
Fry,Poop!,Bender,Bender! Bender! Bender!
Bender,Bender! Bender! Bender!,Bender,Aw. That was the greatest uncountably infinite bunch of guys I ever met.
Bender,Aw. That was the greatest uncountably infinite bunch of guys I ever met.,Amy,It's pulling us through a field of spacebergs!
Amy,It's pulling us through a field of spacebergs!,Bender,Think they're so great!
Bender,Think they're so great!,Amy,giant diamonds.
Amy,giant diamonds.,Bender,What?!
Bender,What?!,Bender,Come to papa!
Bender,Come to papa!,Fry,We need to cut the line!
Fry,We need to cut the line!,Leela,"Enough of your mad obsession with Bender, Fry! We've got to murder that whale or die trying."
Leela,"Enough of your mad obsession with Bender, Fry! We've got to murder that whale or die trying.",Hermes,Bender's one of Planet Express' most expensive appliances! And he's in trouble!
Hermes,Bender's one of Planet Express' most expensive appliances! And he's in trouble!,Leela,"I warned you. Fry, Zoidberg, I now pronounce you man and—"
Leela,"I warned you. Fry, Zoidberg, I now pronounce you man and—",Zoidberg,Aw! So close.
Zoidberg,Aw! So close.,Leela,"You do know I'm stabbing at thee, right?"
Leela,"You do know I'm stabbing at thee, right?",Zoidberg,Hello.
Zoidberg,Hello.,Professor,Farnsworth You must remember something!
Professor,Farnsworth You must remember something!,Zoidberg,"No! Nothing! For all I know, our friends could've been eaten by some kind of crazy space whale!"
Zoidberg,"No! Nothing! For all I know, our friends could've been eaten by some kind of crazy space whale!",Professor,Farnsworth It's taken my latest crew just as it took my first one!
Professor,Farnsworth It's taken my latest crew just as it took my first one!,Zoidberg,Not to mention those single socks from the dryer. Am I right?
Zoidberg,Not to mention those single socks from the dryer. Am I right?,Professor,"Farnsworth And, with no stone monument, they may well demand that I refund their admission fees."
Professor,"Farnsworth And, with no stone monument, they may well demand that I refund their admission fees.",Hermes,In the belly of the beast.
Hermes,In the belly of the beast.,Fry,Like that Bible guy who got swallowed by the whale! Pinocchio!
Fry,Like that Bible guy who got swallowed by the whale! Pinocchio!,Amy,This is all Obsessy Bessy's fault!
Amy,This is all Obsessy Bessy's fault!,Bender,"Right on, sister. We should be back at Planet Express right now. Hiding from work in the ceiling. But no!"
Bender,"Right on, sister. We should be back at Planet Express right now. Hiding from work in the ceiling. But no!",Hermes,Uh-oh. What's that loud digesting sound?
Hermes,Uh-oh. What's that loud digesting sound?,Fry,Holy crap! Four-dimensional bowels!
Fry,Holy crap! Four-dimensional bowels!,Amy,Einstein was right.
Amy,Einstein was right.,Leela,"Also, what and how?!"
Leela,"Also, what and how?!",Male,voice: The great fish has chosen you for a higher purpose.
Male,voice: The great fish has chosen you for a higher purpose.,Leela,Who said that?
Leela,Who said that?,Deformed,"man: I was once Lando Tucker, captain of the first Planet Express ship."
Deformed,"man: I was once Lando Tucker, captain of the first Planet Express ship.",Leela,"Ew! I'm Turanga Leela, captain of the current Planet Express ship. What's going on?"
Leela,"Ew! I'm Turanga Leela, captain of the current Planet Express ship. What's going on?",Lando,"Tucker: It's very simple. Well, actually, it's very complicated. Luckily, I'm here to explain it. You see... This space whale feeds on... Obsession!"
Lando,"Tucker: It's very simple. Well, actually, it's very complicated. Luckily, I'm here to explain it. You see... This space whale feeds on... Obsession!",Leela,Wow. Are you gross-looking. Go on.
Leela,Wow. Are you gross-looking. Go on.,Lando,Tucker: The great space serpent—
Lando,Tucker: The great space serpent—,Leela,Mammal.
Leela,Mammal.,Lando,Tucker: Figured out long ago that no one's more obsessed than space captains.
Lando,Tucker: Figured out long ago that no one's more obsessed than space captains.,Leela,Get away!
Leela,Get away!,Lando,Tucker: The whale's nearly sucked me dry. It'll need a new source of obsession once I'm gone.
Lando,Tucker: The whale's nearly sucked me dry. It'll need a new source of obsession once I'm gone.,Leela,How many times do I have to tell other people? I'm not obsessed!
Leela,How many times do I have to tell other people? I'm not obsessed!,Lando,"Tucker obsession, Leela! And you are the whale!"
Lando,"Tucker obsession, Leela! And you are the whale!",Leela,See?
Leela,See?,Old,"lady: Fifty years, Junior! Fifty years of grippling sorrow!"
Old,"lady: Fifty years, Junior! Fifty years of grippling sorrow!",Paper-hatted,salesman: Popsicles here. Can't mourn the dead without a popsicle.
Paper-hatted,salesman: Popsicles here. Can't mourn the dead without a popsicle.,Leo,You think a popsicle gonna bring my daughter back?!
Leo,You think a popsicle gonna bring my daughter back?!,Paper-hatted,"salesman: No, sir."
Paper-hatted,"salesman: No, sir.",Leo,You just talked yourself out of a sale.
Leo,You just talked yourself out of a sale.,Inez,Guess I gotta quit that club.
Inez,Guess I gotta quit that club.,Morris,I can't believe our Leela's gone!
Morris,I can't believe our Leela's gone!,Munda,You always think you're gonna disappear in space before your children.
Munda,You always think you're gonna disappear in space before your children.,Professor,Farnsworth What a pleasure to see so many miserable faces.
Professor,Farnsworth What a pleasure to see so many miserable faces.,Zoidberg,Mmm! Lemony!
Zoidberg,Mmm! Lemony!,Professor,"Farnsworth: I had intended to unveil a beautiful stone memorial today. But, due to the recent tragedy, I humbly ask you to join me in a simple prayer."
Professor,"Farnsworth: I had intended to unveil a beautiful stone memorial today. But, due to the recent tragedy, I humbly ask you to join me in a simple prayer.",Dwight,Boo!
Dwight,Boo!,Professor,"Farnsworth Oh, mighty Isis—"
Professor,"Farnsworth Oh, mighty Isis—",Zoidberg,My deal is doing the thing!
Zoidberg,My deal is doing the thing!,Professor,Farnsworth: Good Lord! It's some kind of inter-dimensional space whale!
Professor,Farnsworth: Good Lord! It's some kind of inter-dimensional space whale!,Zoidberg,Oy! Now with the horror hair.
Zoidberg,Oy! Now with the horror hair.,Paper-hatted,salesman: Popsicles! Fill your gapin' mouth with a popsicle!
Paper-hatted,salesman: Popsicles! Fill your gapin' mouth with a popsicle!,Munda,Is that how you and your friends are dressing now?!
Munda,Is that how you and your friends are dressing now?!,Leela,"Hello, everyone. I suppose you're wonderin' why my flesh has melded with that of a giant space whale."
Leela,"Hello, everyone. I suppose you're wonderin' why my flesh has melded with that of a giant space whale.",Professor,Farnsworth: I'll admit to a polite interest.
Professor,Farnsworth: I'll admit to a polite interest.,Leela,the whale.
Leela,the whale.,Zoidberg,"That sounds clever, but it doesn't explain much."
Zoidberg,"That sounds clever, but it doesn't explain much.",Leela,"Shut up, Zoidberg!"
Leela,"Shut up, Zoidberg!",Zoidberg,Okay.
Zoidberg,Okay.,Leela,"You see, beneath my obsession lay an even deeper obsession. An obsession so strong, it allowed me to overpower the beast's will and pilot it through space and time. An obsession... With completing my delivery!"
Leela,"You see, beneath my obsession lay an even deeper obsession. An obsession so strong, it allowed me to overpower the beast's will and pilot it through space and time. An obsession... With completing my delivery!",Paper-hatted,salesman: Get your—
Paper-hatted,salesman: Get your—,Old,lady: Poor Lando... This is just how I want to remember him.
Old,lady: Poor Lando... This is just how I want to remember him.,Leela,Too bad! 'Cause he's still alive!
Leela,Too bad! 'Cause he's still alive!,Old,lady: Lando?
Old,lady: Lando?,Lando,"Tucker You've grown, Junior."
Lando,"Tucker You've grown, Junior.",Old,man: I'm sixty-one.
Old,man: I'm sixty-one.,Inez!,What else you got?!
Inez!,What else you got?!,Professor,Farnsworth The whale must have some kind of Möbius colon that endlessly recycles time and space!
Professor,Farnsworth The whale must have some kind of Möbius colon that endlessly recycles time and space!,Scruffy,Yup. That stands up to scrutiny.
Scruffy,Yup. That stands up to scrutiny.,Leela,a monster.
Leela,a monster.,Lando,Tucker: Mainly you.
Lando,Tucker: Mainly you.,Leela,"On the other hand, the stupid fish did eat us. You guys wanna do this?"
Leela,"On the other hand, the stupid fish did eat us. You guys wanna do this?",Amy,Yeah!
Amy,Yeah!,Fry,You know it!
Fry,You know it!,Candy,"So, Johnny, are we gonna pick up where we left off?"
Candy,"So, Johnny, are we gonna pick up where we left off?",Zoidberg,Eh!
Zoidberg,Eh!,Zoidberg,"You stink, loser."
Zoidberg,"You stink, loser.",Leela,Pizza goin' out. Come on!
Leela,Pizza goin' out. Come on!,Fry,Alright. I'll take the red rocket.
Fry,Alright. I'll take the red rocket.,Fry,"One time was funny. But, every week for ten years, not as funny."
Fry,"One time was funny. But, every week for ten years, not as funny.",Ipji,True. Not as funny. But still somewhat funny.
Ipji,True. Not as funny. But still somewhat funny.,Fry,I've been a delivery boy for a thousand years. Isn't there any room for promotion around here?
Fry,I've been a delivery boy for a thousand years. Isn't there any room for promotion around here?,Hermes,"There'll be no promotions unless somebody dies. And, even then, only if we can bring 'em back as a zombie like Scruffy."
Hermes,"There'll be no promotions unless somebody dies. And, even then, only if we can bring 'em back as a zombie like Scruffy.",Scruffy,Life and death are a seamless continuum.
Scruffy,Life and death are a seamless continuum.,Fry,I got shot in the leg!
Fry,I got shot in the leg!,Bender,What are you doin' here?
Bender,What are you doin' here?,Roberto,What? A fella can't drop in on ol' friends and hold 'em hostage?
Roberto,What? A fella can't drop in on ol' friends and hold 'em hostage?,Zoidberg,I'm good! And you?
Zoidberg,I'm good! And you?,Smitty,"Attention, criminal Robot in the building."
Smitty,"Attention, criminal Robot in the building.",Smitty,Come out with your hands up.
Smitty,Come out with your hands up.,Bender,Never!
Bender,Never!,Smitty,"Uh, other guy."
Smitty,"Uh, other guy.",Roberto,"Listen up, piggies! I want a hovercopter. And a non-marked sandwich. And a new face with, like, a... A Hugh Grant look."
Roberto,"Listen up, piggies! I want a hovercopter. And a non-marked sandwich. And a new face with, like, a... A Hugh Grant look.",Roberto,ass!
Roberto,ass!,Zoidberg,Ouch!
Zoidberg,Ouch!,Zoidberg,He's not bluffing!
Zoidberg,He's not bluffing!,URL,You call for a chopper?
URL,You call for a chopper?,URL,One chopper comin' up.
URL,One chopper comin' up.,Smitty,Sometimes it's almost too much for me.
Smitty,Sometimes it's almost too much for me.,URL,You mean the respect we get and the high level of job satisfaction?
URL,You mean the respect we get and the high level of job satisfaction?,Smitty,"There's that, but I'm also talkin' about the non-stop promotions and the free hot ride."
Smitty,"There's that, but I'm also talkin' about the non-stop promotions and the free hot ride.",Leela,I mean a uniform that doesn't involve short pants.
Leela,I mean a uniform that doesn't involve short pants.,Fry,Here are my shorts.
Fry,Here are my shorts.,Fry,Hello. I'd like to enrol in Police Academy.
Fry,Hello. I'd like to enrol in Police Academy.,Policeman,#1: You think you can just waltz in here with no pants and become a cop?
Policeman,#1: You think you can just waltz in here with no pants and become a cop?,Fry,That's the plan.
Fry,That's the plan.,Policeman,"#1: I like you, kid. I got no pants on either."
Policeman,"#1: I like you, kid. I got no pants on either.",Fry,I can see that. You're quite a bit taller than me.
Fry,I can see that. You're quite a bit taller than me.,Policeman,#1: Welcome to Police Academy.
Policeman,#1: Welcome to Police Academy.,Fry,Hi! I'm Fry.
Fry,Hi! I'm Fry.,Brown,Robot: I'm the Sound Effects 5000.
Brown,Robot: I'm the Sound Effects 5000.,Fry,Wow! That would be impressive if you were a Human!
Fry,Wow! That would be impressive if you were a Human!,Sound,Effects 5000: Yeah...
Sound,Effects 5000: Yeah...,Policeman,#2: On your feet for Chief O'Mannahan.
Policeman,#2: On your feet for Chief O'Mannahan.,Chief,"O'Mannahan: At ease, cadets. I'll make this short and sweet 'cause I'm PMS-in' like a lumberjack. Police Academy is not for everybody. You're gonna get your boobs scuffed. But, if you got the vulva to stick it out, I'll be proud to call you ladies policemen."
Chief,"O'Mannahan: At ease, cadets. I'll make this short and sweet 'cause I'm PMS-in' like a lumberjack. Police Academy is not for everybody. You're gonna get your boobs scuffed. But, if you got the vulva to stick it out, I'll be proud to call you ladies policemen.",Fry,"Sir! Yes, ma'am!"
Fry,"Sir! Yes, ma'am!",Black-haired,man Now can you actually turn on the ignition?
Black-haired,man Now can you actually turn on the ignition?,Sound,Effects 5000: I don't have any hands.
Sound,Effects 5000: I don't have any hands.,Chief,"O'Mannahan: Well, it's that time of the month. Graduation Day. So grow up hair and put 'em together for our new officers."
Chief,"O'Mannahan: Well, it's that time of the month. Graduation Day. So grow up hair and put 'em together for our new officers.",Amy,Woohoo!
Amy,Woohoo!,Bender,Hooray for the pigs!
Bender,Hooray for the pigs!,Chief,"O'Mannahan: Graduates, you are hereby officially cops. Now movin' along. Nothin' to see here."
Chief,"O'Mannahan: Graduates, you are hereby officially cops. Now movin' along. Nothin' to see here.",Zoidberg,Police brutality!
Zoidberg,Police brutality!,Chief,"O'Mannahan Alright. Before we head out, I'll be teaming up our new officers with their ironically matched partners. Sound Effects 5000, you'll be with Gretsky."
Chief,"O'Mannahan Alright. Before we head out, I'll be teaming up our new officers with their ironically matched partners. Sound Effects 5000, you'll be with Gretsky.",Gretsky,"Ow, my tinnitus!"
Gretsky,"Ow, my tinnitus!",Chief,"O'Mannahan: Fry, due to the unfortunate loss of Officer Smith, you'll be riding with URL."
Chief,"O'Mannahan: Fry, due to the unfortunate loss of Officer Smith, you'll be riding with URL.",URL,And Smitty was just a few days from retirement.
URL,And Smitty was just a few days from retirement.,Fry,Wuh— What happened?
Fry,Wuh— What happened?,URL,He took a early retirement. Damn.
URL,He took a early retirement. Damn.,Professor,Farnsworth: Let's get down to business.
Professor,Farnsworth: Let's get down to business.,Professor,"Farnsworth: No, I just said that for Fry's benefit. May the poor fellow feel better about his pointless job."
Professor,"Farnsworth: No, I just said that for Fry's benefit. May the poor fellow feel better about his pointless job.",Hermes,Though he did walk Zoidberg.
Hermes,Though he did walk Zoidberg.,Professor,"Farnsworth: In any case, I've improved on Fry by sticking some wheels on a board so Leela and Bender can easily make the next delivery without him."
Professor,"Farnsworth: In any case, I've improved on Fry by sticking some wheels on a board so Leela and Bender can easily make the next delivery without him.",Bender,Neat. So where are we goin'?
Bender,Neat. So where are we goin'?,Professor,Farnsworth: Pandora.
Professor,Farnsworth: Pandora.,Leela,"That dangerous, 3-D planet? Can't we just send our avatars?"
Leela,"That dangerous, 3-D planet? Can't we just send our avatars?",Professor,Farnsworth: No! It's cheaper just to have you die.
Professor,Farnsworth: No! It's cheaper just to have you die.,Fry,Whoa! Fifteen miles over the speed of light.
Fry,Whoa! Fifteen miles over the speed of light.,URL,"That's a violation of the law of Lorentz invariance, baby."
URL,"That's a violation of the law of Lorentz invariance, baby.",Fry,Light 'em up.
Fry,Light 'em up.,URL,Look out for that particular individual.
URL,Look out for that particular individual.,Dandy,"Jim: An electric wall, eh? I can't see the harm in peein' on that."
Dandy,"Jim: An electric wall, eh? I can't see the harm in peein' on that.",URL,Whoa! Where my man learn that?
URL,Whoa! Where my man learn that?,Fry,SunnyD commercial.
Fry,SunnyD commercial.,URL,Let's refract this sucker.
URL,Let's refract this sucker.,Fry,"DNA and career chip, please."
Fry,"DNA and career chip, please.",URL,"Erwin Schrödinger, huh? What's in the box, Schrödinger?"
URL,"Erwin Schrödinger, huh? What's in the box, Schrödinger?",Erwin,Schrödinger a caesium atom.
Erwin,Schrödinger a caesium atom.,Fry,Alive or dead?!
Fry,Alive or dead?!,URL,"Answer him, fool."
URL,"Answer him, fool.",Erwin,Schrödinger: It's a superposition of both states until you open it and collapse the wave function.
Erwin,Schrödinger: It's a superposition of both states until you open it and collapse the wave function.,Fry,Says you.
Fry,Says you.,URL,There's also a lotta drugs in there.
URL,There's also a lotta drugs in there.,Leela,So... You're a Robot?
Leela,So... You're a Robot?,Chief,O'Mannahan: You boys did good. Nailed a major violator of the laws of Physics.
Chief,O'Mannahan: You boys did good. Nailed a major violator of the laws of Physics.,URL,Cat's gonna testify.
URL,Cat's gonna testify.,Chief,O'Mannahan: Guys like this really bust my uterus. You're both getting a promotion! Ever heard of the Future Crimes Division?
Chief,O'Mannahan: Guys like this really bust my uterus. You're both getting a promotion! Ever heard of the Future Crimes Division?,Fry,Tomorrow I have.
Fry,Tomorrow I have.,Leela,Oops.
Leela,Oops.,Leela,I can't make out a thing!
Leela,I can't make out a thing!,Bender,"Well, I guess you should've had two eyes!"
Bender,"Well, I guess you should've had two eyes!",Leela,Just deliver the package and let's get outta here.
Leela,Just deliver the package and let's get outta here.,Bender,the company's chef.
Bender,the company's chef.,Leela,to eat?
Leela,to eat?,Bender,Here's your damn peanut butter and jelly sandwich!
Bender,Here's your damn peanut butter and jelly sandwich!,Blond,"man: Now that we can predict crimes with 99% accuracy, we can arrest most perpetrators before they even perpetrate anything."
Blond,"man: Now that we can predict crimes with 99% accuracy, we can arrest most perpetrators before they even perpetrate anything.",Fry,That's ridiculous. Only horoscopes can predict the future.
Fry,That's ridiculous. Only horoscopes can predict the future.,Blond,man This.
Blond,man This.,Fry,Whoa!
Fry,Whoa!,URL,"Slowed on, baby."
URL,"Slowed on, baby.",Blond,man: The cybernetic oracle. The ultimate man-machine hybrid. Programmed with every crime ever recorded and implanted with the brain cells of History's greatest detectives. We call 'im... Pickles.
Blond,man: The cybernetic oracle. The ultimate man-machine hybrid. Programmed with every crime ever recorded and implanted with the brain cells of History's greatest detectives. We call 'im... Pickles.,Fry,On account of it's like he's floating in a jar?
Fry,On account of it's like he's floating in a jar?,Blond,"man Green is larceny. Black is fraud. Red, homicide."
Blond,"man Green is larceny. Black is fraud. Red, homicide.",Fry,What's pink pocodots?
Fry,What's pink pocodots?,Blond,"man Red ball, homicide!"
Blond,"man Red ball, homicide!",Fry,Woo!
Fry,Woo!,Blond,"man: Suspect: Male, six-foot-one, distinctive mustard stain on his forehead."
Blond,"man: Suspect: Male, six-foot-one, distinctive mustard stain on his forehead.",Hattie,My kajigger!
Hattie,My kajigger!,Blond,man: Victim: Hattie McDoogal.
Blond,man: Victim: Hattie McDoogal.,Fry,It's 4:30 right now!
Fry,It's 4:30 right now!,URL,Uh-oh. We only have a half hour to chill out before we head over.
URL,Uh-oh. We only have a half hour to chill out before we head over.,Old,"man: Oh, Hattie. When I look into your one good eye, I see a reflection of beauty."
Old,"man: Oh, Hattie. When I look into your one good eye, I see a reflection of beauty.",Hattie,"Oh, fresh."
Hattie,"Oh, fresh.",URL,"Freeze, fool."
URL,"Freeze, fool.",Fry,You're under arrest for future murder!
Fry,You're under arrest for future murder!,Old,man You can't arrest me for future murder after it's right-now murder!
Old,man You can't arrest me for future murder after it's right-now murder!,Hattie,So he didn't really wanna marry me?
Hattie,So he didn't really wanna marry me?,URL,"Nah. See, he knew you'd left everything to your parakeets in your will."
URL,"Nah. See, he knew you'd left everything to your parakeets in your will.","Fry,","marry your parakeets, and then poison them with an arsenic-laced cuttlebone."
"Fry,","marry your parakeets, and then poison them with an arsenic-laced cuttlebone.",URL,"Classic move. Aw, yeah."
URL,"Classic move. Aw, yeah.",Chief,O'Mannahan: Congratulations on your big bust.
Chief,O'Mannahan: Congratulations on your big bust.,Fry,You too.
Fry,You too.,Chief,"O'Mannahan: Keep it up and you boys might just make detective. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go drop a big one."
Chief,"O'Mannahan: Keep it up and you boys might just make detective. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go drop a big one.",Chief,O'Mannahan: Eight pounds. I'm namin' 'er Bert!
Chief,O'Mannahan: Eight pounds. I'm namin' 'er Bert!,URL,"Mazel tov, Chief. That's a beautiful bathroom baby."
URL,"Mazel tov, Chief. That's a beautiful bathroom baby.",URL,"Ain't you headin' home, Phil?"
URL,"Ain't you headin' home, Phil?",Fry,In a minute. I just wanna finish this paperless work.
Fry,In a minute. I just wanna finish this paperless work.,URL,Don't stay up too late. We gotta lotta people to shoot tomorrow.
URL,Don't stay up too late. We gotta lotta people to shoot tomorrow.,Fry,There's never a cop around when you need one.
Fry,There's never a cop around when you need one.,Female,"voice: Green ball, larceny."
Female,"voice: Green ball, larceny.",Fry,Bender?!
Fry,Bender?!,Hermes,Our corporate tax rate remained unchanged this fiscal year.
Hermes,Our corporate tax rate remained unchanged this fiscal year.,Amy,That's not funny.
Amy,That's not funny.,Hermes,It's not supposed to be funny. It's a business meetin'.
Hermes,It's not supposed to be funny. It's a business meetin'.,Zoidberg,Things used to be funny around here! Noses were picked. Pants fell down. So what changed? Only Fry could say... And he's gone!
Zoidberg,Things used to be funny around here! Noses were picked. Pants fell down. So what changed? Only Fry could say... And he's gone!,Amy,Hey! Bender and Leela are back from Pandora. How was it?
Amy,Hey! Bender and Leela are back from Pandora. How was it?,Leela,So we had to listen to Bender's Eagles album for twenty-seven hours.
Leela,So we had to listen to Bender's Eagles album for twenty-seven hours.,Bender,"Hey, meatbag!"
Bender,"Hey, meatbag!",Hermes,Look at you!
Hermes,Look at you!,Leela,Hubba-hubba. Your pants go almost all the way to your ankles!
Leela,Hubba-hubba. Your pants go almost all the way to your ankles!,Fry,"Good afternoon, individuals. Sir, would you mind stepping outta the building?"
Fry,"Good afternoon, individuals. Sir, would you mind stepping outta the building?",Bender,"Normally, when a cop asks me that, I spray whipped cream in his eyes and run away. But, to ditch these losers, gladly."
Bender,"Normally, when a cop asks me that, I spray whipped cream in his eyes and run away. But, to ditch these losers, gladly.",Fry,"Bender, be honest with me. Are you planning a big heist?"
Fry,"Bender, be honest with me. Are you planning a big heist?",Bender,"Usually, but not at the moment."
Bender,"Usually, but not at the moment.",Fry,I only ask 'cause the oracle thinks you're gonna pull of a major theft next Thursday.
Fry,I only ask 'cause the oracle thinks you're gonna pull of a major theft next Thursday.,Bender,"Next Thursday, you say? Pray, continue."
Bender,"Next Thursday, you say? Pray, continue.",Fry,Are you familiar with this particular location?
Fry,Are you familiar with this particular location?,Bender,I may have a burgling familiarity with it.
Bender,I may have a burgling familiarity with it.,Fry,mean anything to you?
Fry,mean anything to you?,Bender,I'm sorry. You were sayin'?
Bender,I'm sorry. You were sayin'?,Fry,"Bender, I'm only tellin' you this so you can avoid committing the crime."
Fry,"Bender, I'm only tellin' you this so you can avoid committing the crime.",Bender,Avoid committing the crime. Got it.
Bender,Avoid committing the crime. Got it.,Fry,You wrote Commit the crime!
Fry,You wrote Commit the crime!,Fry,That's me. I recognise the face.
Fry,That's me. I recognise the face.,Bender,You shot me. You miserable dingus!
Bender,You shot me. You miserable dingus!,Fry,No! No! What have I will have done?
Fry,No! No! What have I will have done?,URL,Osmium heavy.
URL,Osmium heavy.,Fry,Are you gonna turn me in for concealing evidence?
Fry,Are you gonna turn me in for concealing evidence?,URL,"Besides, I got my own secrets."
URL,"Besides, I got my own secrets.",Chief,O'Mannahan: Anything big worth checkin' out?
Chief,O'Mannahan: Anything big worth checkin' out?,URL,"Just your big, jangly booty, baby."
URL,"Just your big, jangly booty, baby.",Chief,"O'Mannahan: See ya tonight, toots."
Chief,"O'Mannahan: See ya tonight, toots.",Fry,You... And— And the Chief?!
Fry,You... And— And the Chief?!,URL,"I'm like, Oh, baby! Oh, baby! And she's like, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah."
URL,"I'm like, Oh, baby! Oh, baby! And she's like, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.",Fry,I would never shoot Bender! Never! He taught me how to shave.
Fry,I would never shoot Bender! Never! He taught me how to shave.,URL,"Revision ball. By decidin' not to shoot Bender, you created an alternate future."
URL,"Revision ball. By decidin' not to shoot Bender, you created an alternate future.",Fry,I could never shoot you! Never! You taught me how to shave.
Fry,I could never shoot you! Never! You taught me how to shave.,Fry,See?
Fry,See?,Fry,Go!
Fry,Go!,URL,unintended consequences.
URL,unintended consequences.,Bender,Oops.
Bender,Oops.,URL,The Maltese Liquor done destroyed their brains. Fools should've known it's fatal for anyone but Robots and Billy Dee Williams.
URL,The Maltese Liquor done destroyed their brains. Fools should've known it's fatal for anyone but Robots and Billy Dee Williams.,Fry,"So, if I don't shoot Bender, all my other friends will die?!"
Fry,"So, if I don't shoot Bender, all my other friends will die?!",URL,Fate is a freaky mistress. Much like the Chief. Look out!
URL,Fate is a freaky mistress. Much like the Chief. Look out!,Fry,Somethin' is not right. I refuse to believe it. Rewind!
Fry,Somethin' is not right. I refuse to believe it. Rewind!,Hedonism,Bot: Ooh. Are you the calloused working man I ordered?
Hedonism,Bot: Ooh. Are you the calloused working man I ordered?,Bender,Sure.
Bender,Sure.,Bender,"In order to fix your leaky roof, I'll need to spend two or three hours down here in the wine cellar."
Bender,"In order to fix your leaky roof, I'll need to spend two or three hours down here in the wine cellar.",Hedonism,Bot: I'll be upstairs putting batteries and things.
Hedonism,Bot: I'll be upstairs putting batteries and things.,Bender,Two-hundred-and-ten proof.
Bender,Two-hundred-and-ten proof.,Fry,Put the bottle back!
Fry,Put the bottle back!,Bender,We both know I won't do that! Either you're gonna shoot me or I'm gonna spray whipped cream in your eyes and walk outta here like a big shot.
Bender,We both know I won't do that! Either you're gonna shoot me or I'm gonna spray whipped cream in your eyes and walk outta here like a big shot.,Fry,"Bender, no! You don't have to do something just 'cause it's gonna happen! The future's making a chump outta you!"
Fry,"Bender, no! You don't have to do something just 'cause it's gonna happen! The future's making a chump outta you!",Bender,"Well, I'm gonna make a chump outta the future! I'm not stealin' anything."
Bender,"Well, I'm gonna make a chump outta the future! I'm not stealin' anything.",Fry,Yes! I stopped the crime without shooting you. The oracle was wrong!
Fry,Yes! I stopped the crime without shooting you. The oracle was wrong!,Male,voice: Was I?
Male,voice: Was I?,Fry,Pickles?!
Fry,Pickles?!,Pickles,"Yes. It is I, Pickles! I set the whole thing up. Everyone will think Bender's the thief, while I make off with that glorious brew."
Pickles,"Yes. It is I, Pickles! I set the whole thing up. Everyone will think Bender's the thief, while I make off with that glorious brew.",Bender,Seriously? Why?
Bender,Seriously? Why?,Pickles,So I can kill my Human brain cells. Do you have any idea what a burden it is to know everything that will ever happen?! To never be surprised. To know the punch line of every joke hours in advance.
Pickles,So I can kill my Human brain cells. Do you have any idea what a burden it is to know everything that will ever happen?! To never be surprised. To know the punch line of every joke hours in advance.,Pickles,Not that one! The real one. Which you switched when Fry stupidly looked away.
Pickles,Not that one! The real one. Which you switched when Fry stupidly looked away.,Fry,Hey!
Fry,Hey!,Bender,"Aw, man. Why do you gotta be so oracle-y?"
Bender,"Aw, man. Why do you gotta be so oracle-y?",Pickles,Do it! It is your destiny!
Pickles,Do it! It is your destiny!,Fry,"Oh, nuts."
Fry,"Oh, nuts.",Bender,You shot me! You miserable dingus!
Bender,You shot me! You miserable dingus!,Pickles,Finally... Blissful ignorance! I have no idea what's going to happen next!
Pickles,Finally... Blissful ignorance! I have no idea what's going to happen next!,Fry,"Did you get that, Chief?"
Fry,"Did you get that, Chief?",Chief,O'Mannahan: We got it all from behind this prediction-proof glass.
Chief,O'Mannahan: We got it all from behind this prediction-proof glass.,Pickles,But... How could you know my prediction was fake?
Pickles,But... How could you know my prediction was fake?,Fry,Bender would never share!
Fry,Bender would never share!,Bender,The very idea!
Bender,The very idea!,URL,With the added benefit of me and the Chief bein' locked in a small room.
URL,With the added benefit of me and the Chief bein' locked in a small room.,Hedonism,Bot: Shall we adjourn to the dungeon?
Hedonism,Bot: Shall we adjourn to the dungeon?,Fry,But then I got fired for tipping off Bender.
Fry,But then I got fired for tipping off Bender.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Fry, we have no idea what you do around here, but we desperately need you back."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Fry, we have no idea what you do around here, but we desperately need you back.",Fry,"Ruh— Really? Um, I don't suppose there's any chance I can get a promotion..."
Fry,"Ruh— Really? Um, I don't suppose there's any chance I can get a promotion...",Professor,Farnsworth Executive delivery boy!
Professor,Farnsworth Executive delivery boy!,Fry,Executive?!
Fry,Executive?!,Hermes,"It's a meanin'less title, but it helps insecure people feel better about themselves."
Hermes,"It's a meanin'less title, but it helps insecure people feel better about themselves.",Fry,I feel better about myself!
Fry,I feel better about myself!,Hermes,"So there it is, people. Due to budget cutbacks, we will no longer be offering free squid guts in the kitcken."
Hermes,"So there it is, people. Due to budget cutbacks, we will no longer be offering free squid guts in the kitcken.",Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, boo-hoo! Everyone, look at my latest invention."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, boo-hoo! Everyone, look at my latest invention.",Zoidberg,Okay.
Zoidberg,Okay.,Amy,I like how it's not killing us so far.
Amy,I like how it's not killing us so far.,Professor,Farnsworth: It takes any object and makes two smaller copies!
Professor,Farnsworth: It takes any object and makes two smaller copies!,Bender,Why?
Bender,Why?,Professor,"Farnsworth Now, the matter prism reorganises the raw material into two smaller copies."
Professor,"Farnsworth Now, the matter prism reorganises the raw material into two smaller copies.",Fry,So that's where babies' sweaters come from!
Fry,So that's where babies' sweaters come from!,<i>The,"Scary Door</i> Consider, if you have the energy, Dr. Daniel Zenus, an inventor with a terminal case of the lazies."
<i>The,"Scary Door</i> Consider, if you have the energy, Dr. Daniel Zenus, an inventor with a terminal case of the lazies.",Dr.,Daniel Zenus Ah!
Dr.,Daniel Zenus Ah!,Dr.,"Daniel Zenus: Next, assume my social obligations."
Dr.,"Daniel Zenus: Next, assume my social obligations.",Official,"Dr. Zenus, for a lifetime of scientific achievement, we present this award to... Your Robot."
Official,"Dr. Zenus, for a lifetime of scientific achievement, we present this award to... Your Robot.",Boy,"Daddy, I love you."
Boy,"Daddy, I love you.",Dr.,"Daniel Zenus: If only I'd programmed the Robot to be more careful what I wished for. Robot, experience this tragic irony for me."
Dr.,"Daniel Zenus: If only I'd programmed the Robot to be more careful what I wished for. Robot, experience this tragic irony for me.",Robot,No!
Robot,No!,Dr.,Daniel Zenus: Ah!
Dr.,Daniel Zenus: Ah!,Bender,Ah!
Bender,Ah!,Fry,had a Robot to do stuff.
Fry,had a Robot to do stuff.,Bender,"I know, right?"
Bender,"I know, right?",Professor,"Farnsworth: Bender, thank God I found you in time. I need someone in the lab immediately to fold my new sweaters."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Bender, thank God I found you in time. I need someone in the lab immediately to fold my new sweaters.",Bender,I'm sorry. Do you see a Robot in this room named Folder?
Bender,I'm sorry. Do you see a Robot in this room named Folder?,Professor,Farnsworth my new sweaters? There's only two of them.
Professor,Farnsworth my new sweaters? There's only two of them.,Bender,"Howdy, fellas! I'm Bender."
Bender,"Howdy, fellas! I'm Bender.",Bender,"duplicate: Go to hell, old man."
Bender,"duplicate: Go to hell, old man.",Bender,"I like your attitude. Let's party. But, first, fold these two sweaters."
Bender,"I like your attitude. Let's party. But, first, fold these two sweaters.",Bender,duplicates: I'm sorry. Do you see a Robot in this room named Folder?
Bender,duplicates: I'm sorry. Do you see a Robot in this room named Folder?,Bender,"Damn, you're cute."
Bender,"Damn, you're cute.",Bender,"Hi! I'm Bender, this is my Robot Bender, and this is my other Robot Bender."
Bender,"Hi! I'm Bender, this is my Robot Bender, and this is my other Robot Bender.",Leela,"Oh, Lord."
Leela,"Oh, Lord.",Bender,"They're 60%-scaled replicas of me, Bender."
Bender,"They're 60%-scaled replicas of me, Bender.",Leela,that they actually do more work because they're only 60% as lazy?
Leela,that they actually do more work because they're only 60% as lazy?,Bender,That's a good one.
Bender,That's a good one.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Enough good ones, everyone. We have a delivery to an Alien space giant."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Enough good ones, everyone. We have a delivery to an Alien space giant.",Hermes,You'll have to be respectful. This customer is fifty-feet tall and sensitive about his appearance.
Hermes,You'll have to be respectful. This customer is fifty-feet tall and sensitive about his appearance.,Amy,"Colossal tooth whitener, mega deodorant, humongous acne cream... Aw, and one regular-sized condom."
Amy,"Colossal tooth whitener, mega deodorant, humongous acne cream... Aw, and one regular-sized condom.",Bender,a small wiener? This guy's got it goin' on.
Bender,a small wiener? This guy's got it goin' on.,Leela,Remember: Don't show any reaction to his appearance.
Leela,Remember: Don't show any reaction to his appearance.,Bender,"I hope that's vanishing cream, 'cause that needs to go away."
Bender,"I hope that's vanishing cream, 'cause that needs to go away.",Bender,duplicate: That's cold-blooded.
Bender,duplicate: That's cold-blooded.,Leela,Shhh!
Leela,Shhh!,Unattractive,giant monster: It's okay. I understand. My unusual appearance makes people nervous. You used humour to defuse the tension.
Unattractive,giant monster: It's okay. I understand. My unusual appearance makes people nervous. You used humour to defuse the tension.,Bender,candy.
Bender,candy.,Bender,duplicate #1 a ski mask.
Bender,duplicate #1 a ski mask.,Bender,duplicate #2. It's a newspaper!
Bender,duplicate #2. It's a newspaper!,Unattractive,"giant monster: I wish it weren't so, but many of these things are true. Anyhow, you've lowered my self-esteem a bit more, but I'm sincerely grateful you came all this way to deliver my fungus chizzle."
Unattractive,"giant monster: I wish it weren't so, but many of these things are true. Anyhow, you've lowered my self-esteem a bit more, but I'm sincerely grateful you came all this way to deliver my fungus chizzle.",Fry,"Don't feel bad, sir. It's not your fault. You probably just inherited your appearance from your mother."
Fry,"Don't feel bad, sir. It's not your fault. You probably just inherited your appearance from your mother.",Unattractive,giant monster: What?! No one insults my momma.
Unattractive,giant monster: What?! No one insults my momma.,Bender,"Oh, God! Shield your eyes! It's like Edward James Olmos on IMAX."
Bender,"Oh, God! Shield your eyes! It's like Edward James Olmos on IMAX.",Left,Bender duplicate: Did you see his face when I said he's so ugly?
Left,Bender duplicate: Did you see his face when I said he's so ugly?,Right,"Bender duplicate: No, I blacked out. 'Cause he's so ugly!"
Right,"Bender duplicate: No, I blacked out. 'Cause he's so ugly!",Bender,"Hey, guys, quit reminiscing and grab me two cigars."
Bender,"Hey, guys, quit reminiscing and grab me two cigars.",Left,Bender duplicate: One thing each?
Left,Bender duplicate: One thing each?,Right,Bender duplicate: Sounds fair.
Right,Bender duplicate: Sounds fair.,Bender,Wait. Make that four cigars.
Bender,Wait. Make that four cigars.,Bender,duplicates: You want us to do four things?
Bender,duplicates: You want us to do four things?,Hermes,My manwich!
Hermes,My manwich!,Bender,"duplicate: What's up, Shorty?"
Bender,"duplicate: What's up, Shorty?",Bender,"And that's the story of how one of me became two and two became four, makin' seven total. The end."
Bender,"And that's the story of how one of me became two and two became four, makin' seven total. The end.",Leela,"I just like having the end locker. It's not like Amy cares about it at all. But no, she won't trade with me."
Leela,"I just like having the end locker. It's not like Amy cares about it at all. But no, she won't trade with me.",Zoidberg,A rat!
Zoidberg,A rat!,Leela,Yes! She is a rat!
Leela,Yes! She is a rat!,Zoidberg,No! Look!
Zoidberg,No! Look!,Very,small Bender: Which way to the tiny hookers?
Very,small Bender: Which way to the tiny hookers?,Amy,"A big, fat roach!"
Amy,"A big, fat roach!",Hermes,What? I thought I put that away.
Hermes,What? I thought I put that away.,Amy,No! There!
Amy,No! There!,Bender,on the other side: Who're you?
Bender,on the other side: Who're you?,Insect-sized,Bender: Bender sent me.
Insect-sized,Bender: Bender sent me.,Insect-sized,"Bender: Hey, I know that guy!"
Insect-sized,"Bender: Hey, I know that guy!",Professor,"Farnsworth: Scruffy, what is that tiny Bender doing in my soup?!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Scruffy, what is that tiny Bender doing in my soup?!",Scruffy,"It appears to be giving you the finger, sir. Enjoy."
Scruffy,"It appears to be giving you the finger, sir. Enjoy.",Bender,duplicate: Help me! Help me! I'm too lazy to escape!
Bender,duplicate: Help me! Help me! I'm too lazy to escape!,Bender,duplicate: Ow.
Bender,duplicate: Ow.,Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Hermes,This place is crawling with yous!
Hermes,This place is crawling with yous!,Bender,"So there's more Benders around. As far as I'm concerned, that's good news!"
Bender,"So there's more Benders around. As far as I'm concerned, that's good news!",Professor,"Farnsworth: Bad news, everyone! Look at this infinite series representing the mass of successive generations of Benders."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Bad news, everyone! Look at this infinite series representing the mass of successive generations of Benders.",Fry,Don't wait for me.
Fry,Don't wait for me.,Professor,Farnsworth: It's nonconvergent!
Professor,Farnsworth: It's nonconvergent!,Fry,"Oh, dip!"
Fry,"Oh, dip!",Professor,Farnsworth That's 2046 total Benders we need to destroy.
Professor,Farnsworth That's 2046 total Benders we need to destroy.,Bender,Wait. Does that include me?
Bender,Wait. Does that include me?,Bender,Too bad he didn't have his own Bible.
Bender,Too bad he didn't have his own Bible.,Professor,Farnsworth: Just 2045 more to go!
Professor,Farnsworth: Just 2045 more to go!,Hermes,"2045, 2046. That's it. We got 'em all except for the big one."
Hermes,"2045, 2046. That's it. We got 'em all except for the big one.",Amy,This isn't a real Bender. It's a talking doll from when Bender had that sitcom about the city Robot who moves back to the farm.
Amy,This isn't a real Bender. It's a talking doll from when Bender had that sitcom about the city Robot who moves back to the farm.,Bender,"doll: Shut your pumpkin, bumpkin."
Bender,"doll: Shut your pumpkin, bumpkin.",Bender,Alright. So I let one measly Bender get away. How much harm can one infinitely self-reproducing Robot do?
Bender,Alright. So I let one measly Bender get away. How much harm can one infinitely self-reproducing Robot do?,Leela,Bender! How could you be so lazy and irresponsible?
Leela,Bender! How could you be so lazy and irresponsible?,Bender,"Wait, what? Did someone say I'm great?"
Bender,"Wait, what? Did someone say I'm great?",Bender,What's with the grey goo?
Bender,What's with the grey goo?,Microscopic,Bender: Bite my tiny metal ass.
Microscopic,Bender: Bite my tiny metal ass.,Bender,Hey! Those jerklings ate my couch.
Bender,Hey! Those jerklings ate my couch.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, God. We've opened Pandora's fly. They'll reproduce without limit, consuming all the matter in the world."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, God. We've opened Pandora's fly. They'll reproduce without limit, consuming all the matter in the world.",Fry,Like the Kardashians.
Fry,Like the Kardashians.,Bender,Now they drank my booze?! They've gone too far!
Bender,Now they drank my booze?! They've gone too far!,Leela,Wait a second. All Benders are powered by alcohol!
Leela,Wait a second. All Benders are powered by alcohol!,Professor,"Farnsworth: Of course! Long before the Benders devour the Earth, they'll deplete the planet's booze and die off. This is a problem that will solve itself."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Of course! Long before the Benders devour the Earth, they'll deplete the planet's booze and die off. This is a problem that will solve itself.",Bender,"A problem that solves itself? That sounds like a job for me, Bender."
Bender,"A problem that solves itself? That sounds like a job for me, Bender.",Morbo,"Our top story: All alcohol on Earth has mysteriously disappeared. Consequences are minimal, except among the most hardened alcoholics. Linda?"
Morbo,"Our top story: All alcohol on Earth has mysteriously disappeared. Consequences are minimal, except among the most hardened alcoholics. Linda?",Linda,I can no longer face my children!
Linda,I can no longer face my children!,Leela,"Crisis averted. Without alcohol, the Benders are dying off!"
Leela,"Crisis averted. Without alcohol, the Benders are dying off!",Scruffy,"A greater tragedy my eyes have never beheld. Well, into the terlet."
Scruffy,"A greater tragedy my eyes have never beheld. Well, into the terlet.",Bender,"So sober, so weak..."
Bender,"So sober, so weak...",Leela,Things really worked out nicely this time.
Leela,Things really worked out nicely this time.,Professor,Farnsworth: This doesn't taste like old-man water.
Professor,Farnsworth: This doesn't taste like old-man water.,Professor,Farnsworth!
Professor,Farnsworth!,Professor,"Farnsworth: I was lying here, snoozing, dreaming, oddly enough, about bathing in champagne with six of the world's most distinguished scientists, when suddenly I realised my bathwater had been transformed into alcohol."
Professor,"Farnsworth: I was lying here, snoozing, dreaming, oddly enough, about bathing in champagne with six of the world's most distinguished scientists, when suddenly I realised my bathwater had been transformed into alcohol.",Bender,Alcohol?
Bender,Alcohol?,Fry,Chug! Chug!
Fry,Chug! Chug!,Bender,It's like fine cognac with a hint of aged scrotum.
Bender,It's like fine cognac with a hint of aged scrotum.,Leela,How can this be? I thought the Benders drank all the alcohol in the world!
Leela,How can this be? I thought the Benders drank all the alcohol in the world!,Professor,"Farnsworth In a matter of hours, there will be no more fresh water on Earth."
Professor,"Farnsworth In a matter of hours, there will be no more fresh water on Earth.",Bender,"Oh, no! What will I mix with my Scotch?"
Bender,"Oh, no! What will I mix with my Scotch?",Linda,"Hey, you! Good evening. Who're you calling drunk? You're not drunk! I'm drunk."
Linda,"Hey, you! Good evening. Who're you calling drunk? You're not drunk! I'm drunk.",Morbo,"That's right, Linda. Water is now— Now booze and everyone's tetty much protally fitshaced."
Morbo,"That's right, Linda. Water is now— Now booze and everyone's tetty much protally fitshaced.",Linda,"Turning to sports, the Indy 500 was today. There were no survivors."
Linda,"Turning to sports, the Indy 500 was today. There were no survivors.",Amy,This chair is so comfortable.
Amy,This chair is so comfortable.,Bender,Classic Amy.
Bender,Classic Amy.,Hermes,You wanna see a picture of my boy?
Hermes,You wanna see a picture of my boy?,Zoidberg,That's your penis!
Zoidberg,That's your penis!,Hermes,That's my boy!
Hermes,That's my boy!,Leela,I guess this is a... Not so bad. As long as we don't need to use our mental... Mental...
Leela,I guess this is a... Not so bad. As long as we don't need to use our mental... Mental...,Fry,Minds?
Fry,Minds?,Leela,Wha?
Leela,Wha?,Fry,"No, listen. I... freakin' love you. But I don't throw that word around!"
Fry,"No, listen. I... freakin' love you. But I don't throw that word around!",Professor,Farnsworth. Are the pizza muffins ready?
Professor,Farnsworth. Are the pizza muffins ready?,Fry,He's here for revenging. That's why.
Fry,He's here for revenging. That's why.,Unattractive,giant monster: No! Wait! I'm here to apologise.
Unattractive,giant monster: No! Wait! I'm here to apologise.,Leela,Nice one.
Leela,Nice one.,Unattractive,"giant monster: Well, yes, actually. It is sort of related to that. Can we talk? Grabbing your spaceship was not okay. I lost my cool and I'm sorry. In group, I learned that I tend to be a bit..."
Unattractive,"giant monster: Well, yes, actually. It is sort of related to that. Can we talk? Grabbing your spaceship was not okay. I lost my cool and I'm sorry. In group, I learned that I tend to be a bit...",Hermes,Repulsive?
Hermes,Repulsive?,Unattractive,"giant monster: Sensitive. So now I'm, like, trying to work on my attitude and project an air of positivity."
Unattractive,"giant monster: Sensitive. So now I'm, like, trying to work on my attitude and project an air of positivity.",Zoidberg,You're projecting an air of something.
Zoidberg,You're projecting an air of something.,Amy,left guard.
Amy,left guard.,Unattractive,giant monster: I'll take your hygiene advice to heart.
Unattractive,giant monster: I'll take your hygiene advice to heart.,Professor,Farnsworth: You're ugly!
Professor,Farnsworth: You're ugly!,Unattractive,giant monster: Hey! Ow!
Unattractive,giant monster: Hey! Ow!,Zapp,"Yo, freakshow! Your face has been declared a weapon of mass disgusting!"
Zapp,"Yo, freakshow! Your face has been declared a weapon of mass disgusting!",Kif,Timeless.
Kif,Timeless.,Unattractive,"giant monster Dr. Lesterman? I'm sorry to bother you, but I think I'm close to a temper-control incident."
Unattractive,"giant monster Dr. Lesterman? I'm sorry to bother you, but I think I'm close to a temper-control incident.",Female,voice: You have reached the office of Dr. Judy Lesterman and Dr. Ira Rodkiss. The office is now closed. If this is a pharmacy call—
Female,voice: You have reached the office of Dr. Judy Lesterman and Dr. Ira Rodkiss. The office is now closed. If this is a pharmacy call—,Unattractive,giant monster I won't stop until your whole planet is as ugly as you perceived me to be!
Unattractive,giant monster I won't stop until your whole planet is as ugly as you perceived me to be!,Zapp,That will take a very long time.
Zapp,That will take a very long time.,Kif,"Oh, God! Stop. Stop."
Kif,"Oh, God! Stop. Stop.",Bender,Ah!
Bender,Ah!,Fry,Blunder? You're the only one who's sober. You gotta do somethin'.
Fry,Blunder? You're the only one who's sober. You gotta do somethin'.,Bender,Haven't I done enough already?
Bender,Haven't I done enough already?,Fry,Please... Stop the monster. Just do that one thing.
Fry,Please... Stop the monster. Just do that one thing.,Bender,Make it zero and you got a deal.
Bender,Make it zero and you got a deal.,Fry,What if I folded the Professor's sweaters for you?
Fry,What if I folded the Professor's sweaters for you?,Bender,Both of them?! You mean you'll do two things and I only have to do one thing?
Bender,Both of them?! You mean you'll do two things and I only have to do one thing?,Fry,Yeah. To save the world.
Fry,Yeah. To save the world.,Fry,Sucker.
Fry,Sucker.,Bender,"Legion of Benders, come onto me. We have one thing to do!"
Bender,"Legion of Benders, come onto me. We have one thing to do!",Bender,duplicates: Screw that.
Bender,duplicates: Screw that.,Bender,"Oh, come on, you lazy jerks. If we all pitch in, we each only have to do one quintillionth of a thing."
Bender,"Oh, come on, you lazy jerks. If we all pitch in, we each only have to do one quintillionth of a thing.",Bender,duplicates: Alright.
Bender,duplicates: Alright.,Bender,Whoa. Big Bender starts right now.
Bender,Whoa. Big Bender starts right now.,Unattractive,"giant monster: Get a shave, ugly!"
Unattractive,"giant monster: Get a shave, ugly!",Bender,"How about some aftershave, dumpy?"
Bender,"How about some aftershave, dumpy?",Unattractive,giant monster: You big bully!
Unattractive,giant monster: You big bully!,Bender,You ugly nerd! Enjoy a nice guggenheim swirley. Let this beatin' be a lesson about never attacking those more handsome than oneself.
Bender,You ugly nerd! Enjoy a nice guggenheim swirley. Let this beatin' be a lesson about never attacking those more handsome than oneself.,Unattractive,giant monster: All I wanted was to apologise to you people! But now I have to kill you.
Unattractive,giant monster: All I wanted was to apologise to you people! But now I have to kill you.,Bender,How? By makin' me look at you?
Bender,How? By makin' me look at you?,Unattractive,giant monster: No. By makin' you look at... My momma!
Unattractive,giant monster: No. By makin' you look at... My momma!,Bender,Your momma's so ugly!
Bender,Your momma's so ugly!,Unattractive,giant monster: I told you not to talk about my momma!
Unattractive,giant monster: I told you not to talk about my momma!,Male,"voice: Walk toward the light, Bender."
Male,"voice: Walk toward the light, Bender.",Bender,"Aw, man. Do I have to walk?"
Bender,"Aw, man. Do I have to walk?",Fry,No!
Fry,No!,Unattractive,"giant monster: No! At last, I'm beautiful."
Unattractive,"giant monster: No! At last, I'm beautiful.",Bender,"Yeah, if you're in the grave dust."
Bender,"Yeah, if you're in the grave dust.",Fry,"Bender, you did it!"
Fry,"Bender, you did it!",Bender,"No, we did it. Ladies and gentlemen, if together we were able to defeat this giant space monster, think how also we might defeat the monsters of poverty and disease and unliteracy. In this spirit, I ask my fellow Benders to join me in working diligently to—"
Bender,"No, we did it. Ladies and gentlemen, if together we were able to defeat this giant space monster, think how also we might defeat the monsters of poverty and disease and unliteracy. In this spirit, I ask my fellow Benders to join me in working diligently to—",Bender,duplicate A: Go to hell!
Bender,duplicate A: Go to hell!,Bender,duplicate B: Come on. Let's go some place where we don't have to do one quintillionth of a thing all the time.
Bender,duplicate B: Come on. Let's go some place where we don't have to do one quintillionth of a thing all the time.,Bender,"Well, that was dumb."
Bender,"Well, that was dumb.",Fry,Looks like it's full of dig dogs.
Fry,Looks like it's full of dig dogs.,Amy,"Man, we're way drunk. What happened, Professor?"
Amy,"Man, we're way drunk. What happened, Professor?",Professor,Farnsworth: Something absolutely incredible! The sweaters got folded.
Professor,Farnsworth: Something absolutely incredible! The sweaters got folded.,Zoidberg,But how?
Zoidberg,But how?,Fry,"I didn't do it. Bender, did you learn a lesson about not bein' lazy while the rest of us were bombed out of our gourds?"
Fry,"I didn't do it. Bender, did you learn a lesson about not bein' lazy while the rest of us were bombed out of our gourds?",Bender,I guess we'll never know.
Bender,I guess we'll never know.,Man,Mom on deck! Ten—
Man,Mom on deck! Ten—,Mom,Shoot anyone who doesn't obey hard enough.
Mom,Shoot anyone who doesn't obey hard enough.,Man,But—
Man,But—,Mom,"The grunts catch the Alien, the surgeon guts it, and you smuggle the poison parts back here."
Mom,"The grunts catch the Alien, the surgeon guts it, and you smuggle the poison parts back here.",Professor,Farnsworth Where is he?
Professor,Farnsworth Where is he?,Mom,You! Where's the butcher?!
Mom,You! Where's the butcher?!,Man,"Ma'am, I dunno, ma'am. 'Is duffel bag arrived."
Man,"Ma'am, I dunno, ma'am. 'Is duffel bag arrived.",Zoidberg,It's not a duffel bag. It's my apartment.
Zoidberg,It's not a duffel bag. It's my apartment.,Mom,In the budget category.
Mom,In the budget category.,Professor,Farnsworth: Have you ever dissected a Yeti before?
Professor,Farnsworth: Have you ever dissected a Yeti before?,Zoidberg,Himalayan or Neptunian?
Zoidberg,Himalayan or Neptunian?,Professor,Farnsworth: Tritonian.
Professor,Farnsworth: Tritonian.,Zoidberg,"You two aren't up to anything unethical, are you?!"
Zoidberg,"You two aren't up to anything unethical, are you?!",Mom,"I said, Relax."
Mom,"I said, Relax.",Professor,"Farnsworth We've known each other so long that... Sometimes, I don't think we even need words to understand each other."
Professor,"Farnsworth We've known each other so long that... Sometimes, I don't think we even need words to understand each other.",Zoidberg,What?
Zoidberg,What?,Leela,"Once and for all, Fry, even though it's the future, most objects are still just objects. Not Aliens who look like objects."
Leela,"Once and for all, Fry, even though it's the future, most objects are still just objects. Not Aliens who look like objects.",Fry,So my efforts to establish diplomatic relations with the cactus people were doomed from the start.
Fry,So my efforts to establish diplomatic relations with the cactus people were doomed from the start.,Zoidberg,"Blood?! I mean, Blood."
Zoidberg,"Blood?! I mean, Blood.",Fry,Put it back in me!
Fry,Put it back in me!,Zoidberg,jaundice.
Zoidberg,jaundice.,Fry,"¡Ay, caramba!"
Fry,"¡Ay, caramba!",Zoidberg,His only hope is some replacement liver. Yours looks like a good match.
Zoidberg,His only hope is some replacement liver. Yours looks like a good match.,Leela,"Well, if it'll help Fry—"
Leela,"Well, if it'll help Fry—",Fry,He knows less about Human anatomy than I do. And I can't even find my own uterus!
Fry,He knows less about Human anatomy than I do. And I can't even find my own uterus!,Zoidberg,You may feel a slight sawing!
Zoidberg,You may feel a slight sawing!,Zoidberg,And all we need is a little spine supplement to replace what Leela lost in that unavoidable saw mix-up.
Zoidberg,And all we need is a little spine supplement to replace what Leela lost in that unavoidable saw mix-up.,Leela,"You just had to stop cutting my spine when I yelled, Stop! You're cutting my spine!"
Leela,"You just had to stop cutting my spine when I yelled, Stop! You're cutting my spine!",Fry,I hate Mondays.
Fry,I hate Mondays.,Zoidberg,"Anyhow, Hermes, all Leela needs is one of your vertebrae."
Zoidberg,"Anyhow, Hermes, all Leela needs is one of your vertebrae.",Hermes,"But, Doctor, will I be able to limbo afterwards?"
Hermes,"But, Doctor, will I be able to limbo afterwards?",Zoidberg,"limbo before. You ruined the joke, Hermes!"
Zoidberg,"limbo before. You ruined the joke, Hermes!",Zoidberg,"There you go, Leela. Good as new!"
Zoidberg,"There you go, Leela. Good as new!",Leela,Whoa! Whoa!
Leela,Whoa! Whoa!,Fry,"Oh, sure."
Fry,"Oh, sure.",Leela,Whoa!
Leela,Whoa!,Fry,gangrene. It's not easy being gangrenous.
Fry,gangrene. It's not easy being gangrenous.,Hermes,I thought you were only gonna take out one vertebra!
Hermes,I thought you were only gonna take out one vertebra!,Zoidberg,"Yeah, but did you ever play Jenga? Sometimes, you pull one and—"
Zoidberg,"Yeah, but did you ever play Jenga? Sometimes, you pull one and—",Fry,"Oh, yeah? Well, I've got news for ya. I'm not stayin' like this. You're the Doctor!"
Fry,"Oh, yeah? Well, I've got news for ya. I'm not stayin' like this. You're the Doctor!",Zoidberg,Hmmm. What started out as a pleasant afternoon of drugs and surgery has not gone as planned. But don't worry. We still 'ave three or four coworkers with plenty of spare parts.
Zoidberg,Hmmm. What started out as a pleasant afternoon of drugs and surgery has not gone as planned. But don't worry. We still 'ave three or four coworkers with plenty of spare parts.,Zoidberg,With sprinkles on?
Zoidberg,With sprinkles on?,Professor,"Farnsworth: Why, you're just a big kid, aren't you, Zoidberg?"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Why, you're just a big kid, aren't you, Zoidberg?",Zoidberg,big kid.
Zoidberg,big kid.,Man,"We're over the drop zone, gentlemen. Might I suggest you jump out the door and poop yourselves."
Man,"We're over the drop zone, gentlemen. Might I suggest you jump out the door and poop yourselves.",Zoidberg,"So, anyway, I hope the men 'ave been taking their hypermalaria pills."
Zoidberg,"So, anyway, I hope the men 'ave been taking their hypermalaria pills.",Professor,Farnsworth: Their wha?!
Professor,Farnsworth: Their wha?!,Zoidberg,What smells like methane?
Zoidberg,What smells like methane?,Doctor,Especially this far inland.
Doctor,Especially this far inland.,Leela,"It wasn't a shark. It was an awful, incompetent doctor."
Leela,"It wasn't a shark. It was an awful, incompetent doctor.",Doctor,Wow. He must've been a total Zoidberg.
Doctor,Wow. He must've been a total Zoidberg.,Hermes,"Zoidberg! He brutalised us with power tools, gypsy curses, and hypnosis!"
Hermes,"Zoidberg! He brutalised us with power tools, gypsy curses, and hypnosis!",Amy,"Yes, master."
Amy,"Yes, master.",Doctor,You'll all get through this. I give you my word as a real doctor.
Doctor,You'll all get through this. I give you my word as a real doctor.,Bender,What about me?
Bender,What about me?,Doctor,What did 'e do to you?
Doctor,What did 'e do to you?,Bender,I'm incontinent.
Bender,I'm incontinent.,Doctor,I'm truly sorry.
Doctor,I'm truly sorry.,Fry,I consider myself a reasonable man. Quick with a joke. Slow to anger. But Bender can't go on long car trips anymore an' I say Zoidberg must die!
Fry,I consider myself a reasonable man. Quick with a joke. Slow to anger. But Bender can't go on long car trips anymore an' I say Zoidberg must die!,Hermes,Death to the crab!
Hermes,Death to the crab!,Professor,"Farnsworth: How bad is it, Doctor?"
Professor,"Farnsworth: How bad is it, Doctor?",Zoidberg,A lot of these men will be dead within twenty-four hours.
Zoidberg,A lot of these men will be dead within twenty-four hours.,Man,What?!
Man,What?!,Zoidberg,"It can kill immediately. Or lie dormant for decades. But, sooner or later, it erupts, causing fever, spasms, madness, coma, and finally... Death."
Zoidberg,"It can kill immediately. Or lie dormant for decades. But, sooner or later, it erupts, causing fever, spasms, madness, coma, and finally... Death.",Man,What?!
Man,What?!,Zoidberg,Super model!
Zoidberg,Super model!,Professor,Farnsworth to complete the mission.
Professor,Farnsworth to complete the mission.,Professor,"Farnsworth: I'll be in the swamp, blowing the smirk off a toxic Yeti."
Professor,"Farnsworth: I'll be in the swamp, blowing the smirk off a toxic Yeti.",Hermes,"You need to listen to us! Yes, you do!"
Hermes,"You need to listen to us! Yes, you do!",Leela,We demand you fire him!
Leela,We demand you fire him!,Professor,"Farnsworth Your mistake is being Humans! No. If I'm going to fire anyone, it'll be Scruffy."
Professor,"Farnsworth Your mistake is being Humans! No. If I'm going to fire anyone, it'll be Scruffy.",Hermes,Ya can't do that!
Hermes,Ya can't do that!,Bender,What did Scruffy ever do to you?!
Bender,What did Scruffy ever do to you?!,Amy,Over my dead body!
Amy,Over my dead body!,Bender,Uh-oh.
Bender,Uh-oh.,Hermes,Do you owe him something?
Hermes,Do you owe him something?,Leela,Is he blackmailing you somehow?
Leela,Is he blackmailing you somehow?,Amy,Why have you kept 'im around all these years when 'e's so grossly incompetent?!
Amy,Why have you kept 'im around all these years when 'e's so grossly incompetent?!,Professor,Farnsworth So there's nothing to be curious about!
Professor,Farnsworth So there's nothing to be curious about!,Professor,Farnsworth Zoidberg?!
Professor,Farnsworth Zoidberg?!,Zoidberg,It's suicidal.
Zoidberg,It's suicidal.,Professor,"Farnsworth I'm going to die of hypermalaria, anyway. I was in the same swamp as the rest of the men."
Professor,"Farnsworth I'm going to die of hypermalaria, anyway. I was in the same swamp as the rest of the men.",Zoidberg,"Just because you were in the swamp, doesn't necessarily mean—"
Zoidberg,"Just because you were in the swamp, doesn't necessarily mean—",Professor,Farnsworth You're a loyal friend.
Professor,Farnsworth You're a loyal friend.,Zoidberg,Friend?!
Zoidberg,Friend?!,Professor,Farnsworth I might as well capture a Yeti and die trying.
Professor,Farnsworth I might as well capture a Yeti and die trying.,Zoidberg,Friend.
Zoidberg,Friend.,Professor,Farnsworth That's an order!
Professor,Farnsworth That's an order!,Zoidberg,Never! Zoidberg doesn't abandon a friend apparently.
Zoidberg,Never! Zoidberg doesn't abandon a friend apparently.,Professor,Farnsworth: Ooh! Ooh-ho-ho!
Professor,Farnsworth: Ooh! Ooh-ho-ho!,Zoidberg,Crunch all you want. I'll make more.
Zoidberg,Crunch all you want. I'll make more.,Zoidberg,I lost another one.
Zoidberg,I lost another one.,Leela,"I'm sorry to break it to you this way, but we hate you and we never wanna see you again."
Leela,"I'm sorry to break it to you this way, but we hate you and we never wanna see you again.",Zoidberg,"But, friends—"
Zoidberg,"But, friends—",Hermes,We're not your friends! We're your victims!
Hermes,We're not your friends! We're your victims!,Zoidberg,I was just trying to—
Zoidberg,I was just trying to—,Amy,Shut up and give me my kidney back!
Amy,Shut up and give me my kidney back!,Zoidberg,I'm sorry.
Zoidberg,I'm sorry.,Fry,Nobody wants to see you ever again!
Fry,Nobody wants to see you ever again!,Professor,"Farnsworth: Dr. Zoidberg, I want to see you right now!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Dr. Zoidberg, I want to see you right now!",Professor,Farnsworth We have to talk about... Our arrangement.
Professor,Farnsworth We have to talk about... Our arrangement.,Zoidberg,"Oh, no, no, no! Oh, no!"
Zoidberg,"Oh, no, no, no! Oh, no!",Zoidberg,"Oh, no!"
Zoidberg,"Oh, no!",Professor,Farnsworth Are you alright?
Professor,Farnsworth Are you alright?,Zoidberg,You saved my life!
Zoidberg,You saved my life!,Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, fuff."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, fuff.",Zoidberg,Or maybe a butler?
Zoidberg,Or maybe a butler?,Professor,Farnsworth The fever! The madness!
Professor,Farnsworth The fever! The madness!,Zoidberg,"Don't forget the spasms, coma, and death."
Zoidberg,"Don't forget the spasms, coma, and death.",Professor,Farnsworth I want you to kill me!
Professor,Farnsworth I want you to kill me!,Zoidberg,Give me the knife.
Zoidberg,Give me the knife.,Professor,Farnsworth Isn't that what you said?
Professor,Farnsworth Isn't that what you said?,Zoidberg,It sounds like something I would say.
Zoidberg,It sounds like something I would say.,Professor,Farnsworth Put me out of my misery. You must swear!
Professor,Farnsworth Put me out of my misery. You must swear!,Zoidberg,I swear.
Zoidberg,I swear.,Professor,Farnsworth It's time for you to keep your promise and kill me.
Professor,Farnsworth It's time for you to keep your promise and kill me.,Zoidberg,Friend.
Zoidberg,Friend.,Professor,Farnsworth I'm afraid to die!
Professor,Farnsworth I'm afraid to die!,Zoidberg,deals?!
Zoidberg,deals?!,Professor,Farnsworth So you must murder me completely by surprise.
Professor,Farnsworth So you must murder me completely by surprise.,Zoidberg,Well... See you tomorrow.
Zoidberg,Well... See you tomorrow.,Professor,Farnsworth: Not surprising enough!
Professor,Farnsworth: Not surprising enough!,Professor,Farnsworth Heart!
Professor,Farnsworth Heart!,Fry,Hey!
Fry,Hey!,Leela,What are you doing there?
Leela,What are you doing there?,Professor,Farnsworth Whoa!
Professor,Farnsworth Whoa!,Zoidberg,Stop! You don't understand!
Zoidberg,Stop! You don't understand!,Leela,"Let's go, you murderer! Fry, help me lock 'im up!"
Leela,"Let's go, you murderer! Fry, help me lock 'im up!",Fry,Hang on. I'm learnin' how to do loop-de-loops.
Fry,Hang on. I'm learnin' how to do loop-de-loops.,Professor,Farnsworth: Whoa! Whoa! Woo!
Professor,Farnsworth: Whoa! Whoa! Woo!,Zoidberg,the Professor!
Zoidberg,the Professor!,Bender,Ooh.
Bender,Ooh.,Zoidberg,Great Little Caesar's ghost!
Zoidberg,Great Little Caesar's ghost!,Professor,Farnsworth Zoidberg to kill me!
Professor,Farnsworth Zoidberg to kill me!,Amy,Huh?!
Amy,Huh?!,Bender,"What you talkin' 'bout, Professor?!"
Bender,"What you talkin' 'bout, Professor?!",Hermes,"Professor, have you gone mad?!"
Hermes,"Professor, have you gone mad?!",Professor,Farnsworth It's one o' the symptoms of Tritonian hypermalaria!
Professor,Farnsworth It's one o' the symptoms of Tritonian hypermalaria!,Amy,And finally death?!
Amy,And finally death?!,Professor,Farnsworth Quickly!
Professor,Farnsworth Quickly!,Scruffy,Hmmm. Should've known better than to store my antiques in the office.
Scruffy,Hmmm. Should've known better than to store my antiques in the office.,Leela,We're letting you out so you can kill the Professor!
Leela,We're letting you out so you can kill the Professor!,Zoidberg,Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop.
Zoidberg,Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop.,Amy,He sand-crabbed out!
Amy,He sand-crabbed out!,Leela,Then we have no choice. We'll have to mercy-kill the Professor ourselves.
Leela,Then we have no choice. We'll have to mercy-kill the Professor ourselves.,Bender,"Well, let's get started."
Bender,"Well, let's get started.",Walt,"We have a situation, Mother. This creature tried to sand-crab into the building."
Walt,"We have a situation, Mother. This creature tried to sand-crab into the building.",Mom,Zoidberg?!
Mom,Zoidberg?!,Zoidberg,"Sorry I didn't call first, Carol. Uh... But I'm in a hurry! I need your help to save Hubert!"
Zoidberg,"Sorry I didn't call first, Carol. Uh... But I'm in a hurry! I need your help to save Hubert!",Mom,Let him go and stooge the hell out of here!
Mom,Let him go and stooge the hell out of here!,Larry,We're on it.
Larry,We're on it.,Walt,Ow!
Walt,Ow!,Igner,Ow!
Igner,Ow!,Larry,Ow!
Larry,Ow!,Zoidberg,Beautiful kids. You must be very proud!
Zoidberg,Beautiful kids. You must be very proud!,Mom,John Zoidberg... It's been a long time. How've you been?
Mom,John Zoidberg... It's been a long time. How've you been?,Zoidberg,"Later, I'll show you the pictures."
Zoidberg,"Later, I'll show you the pictures.",Mom,Leaving me to work for the Professor?
Mom,Leaving me to work for the Professor?,Zoidberg,'E saved my life.
Zoidberg,'E saved my life.,Mom,Your own lab... A full staff...
Mom,Your own lab... A full staff...,Zoidberg,From Triton!
Zoidberg,From Triton!,Mom,How much are you worth now?
Mom,How much are you worth now?,Zoidberg,All I have in the world is this coupon for one free session at the tanning salon.
Zoidberg,All I have in the world is this coupon for one free session at the tanning salon.,Mom,Then I'll take it.
Mom,Then I'll take it.,Scruffy,Murdolator's finished.
Scruffy,Murdolator's finished.,Bender,Nobody listens to Bender!
Bender,Nobody listens to Bender!,Leela,Which is why we're each going to add one drop of cyanide to the death wheel as it goes by.
Leela,Which is why we're each going to add one drop of cyanide to the death wheel as it goes by.,Scruffy,Ayup.
Scruffy,Ayup.,Hermes,Kill-check one is go!
Hermes,Kill-check one is go!,Leela,Yay!
Leela,Yay!,Amy,Woohoo!
Amy,Woohoo!,Fry,Kill-check two is go!
Fry,Kill-check two is go!,Humans,Ooh!
Humans,Ooh!,Woman,Wow!
Woman,Wow!,Hattie,It's about time.
Hattie,It's about time.,Female,voice: Vegetables activated.
Female,voice: Vegetables activated.,Bender,"Kill-check three is go! Also, the salad's ready."
Bender,"Kill-check three is go! Also, the salad's ready.",Leela,"Yay, salad!"
Leela,"Yay, salad!",Amy,Yay!
Amy,Yay!,Zoidberg,What the hell are you doing?!
Zoidberg,What the hell are you doing?!,Leela,"I am so, so sorry for how we treated you."
Leela,"I am so, so sorry for how we treated you.",Fry,"And, to make it up to you, we're killing the Professor for you so he doesn't die horribly from hypermalaria."
Fry,"And, to make it up to you, we're killing the Professor for you so he doesn't die horribly from hypermalaria.",Zoidberg,"When 'e saved my life all those years ago, 'e was scratched by a Yeti!"
Zoidberg,"When 'e saved my life all those years ago, 'e was scratched by a Yeti!",Fry,And I've never heard of Yetiism.
Fry,And I've never heard of Yetiism.,Zoidberg,Hold 'im down while I prepare the antidote.
Zoidberg,Hold 'im down while I prepare the antidote.,Leela,Another Yeti?!
Leela,Another Yeti?!,Zoidberg,This contains a concentrated form of the Yeti neurotoxin.
Zoidberg,This contains a concentrated form of the Yeti neurotoxin.,Hermes,But that's what gave 'im Yetiism in the first place! Won't it just make 'im a double Yeti?!
Hermes,But that's what gave 'im Yetiism in the first place! Won't it just make 'im a double Yeti?!,Zoidberg,"Don't lecture me about Alien physiology, Conrad! The pineal neurotoxin neutralises the adrenal neurotoxin. That's why Yetis don't drive themselves mad!"
Zoidberg,"Don't lecture me about Alien physiology, Conrad! The pineal neurotoxin neutralises the adrenal neurotoxin. That's why Yetis don't drive themselves mad!",Fry,Hulk!
Fry,Hulk!,Zoidberg,make 'im a double Yeti!
Zoidberg,make 'im a double Yeti!,Amy,It wasn't supposed to do any of those things.
Amy,It wasn't supposed to do any of those things.,Professor,"Farnsworth: You did it, Johnny. I'm cured!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: You did it, Johnny. I'm cured!",Bender,"Alright, let's set it up and try again."
Bender,"Alright, let's set it up and try again.",Professor,Farnsworth How did you persuade Mom to give you her precious Yeti head? Did you 'ave to promise anything in return?
Professor,Farnsworth How did you persuade Mom to give you her precious Yeti head? Did you 'ave to promise anything in return?,Zoidberg,Nothing. Nothing at all.
Zoidberg,Nothing. Nothing at all.,Amy,Let's go tanning!
Amy,Let's go tanning!,Bender,Hooray!
Bender,Hooray!,Professor,Farnsworth: Yay!
Professor,Farnsworth: Yay!,Zoidberg,Once.
Zoidberg,Once.,Professor,Farnsworth It's on me.
Professor,Farnsworth It's on me.,Zoidberg,"Thank you, Hubert."
Zoidberg,"Thank you, Hubert.",Professor,Farnsworth and Zoidberg: Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop.
Professor,Farnsworth and Zoidberg: Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop.,Hermes,"Listen up, people."
Hermes,"Listen up, people.",Hermes,"As long as nothing happens for the next fifteen minutes, our insurance will be reinstated, so let's just sit quietly and run out the clock."
Hermes,"As long as nothing happens for the next fifteen minutes, our insurance will be reinstated, so let's just sit quietly and run out the clock.",Amy,A giant sausage!
Amy,A giant sausage!,Bender,"Oh, God!"
Bender,"Oh, God!",Hermes,"Oh, God, no! Get out of here, you horrific sausage!"
Hermes,"Oh, God, no! Get out of here, you horrific sausage!",Leela,Wait! Isn't today the parade? It's just a giant balloon!
Leela,Wait! Isn't today the parade? It's just a giant balloon!,Fry,Giant balloon?
Fry,Giant balloon?,Bender,"See, buddy? It's not so scary."
Bender,"See, buddy? It's not so scary.",Fry,Why is so many different parades smooshed together?
Fry,Why is so many different parades smooshed together?,Leela,It's the Parade Day parade.
Leela,It's the Parade Day parade.,Fry,What's Parade Day?
Fry,What's Parade Day?,Professor,"Farnsworth: It used to be that every group in New New York wanted their own parade. Why, when I was a boy, we had a parade every day. Those were dark times."
Professor,"Farnsworth: It used to be that every group in New New York wanted their own parade. Why, when I was a boy, we had a parade every day. Those were dark times.",Leela,Now we just combine them all into one big Parade Day parade and get it over with.
Leela,Now we just combine them all into one big Parade Day parade and get it over with.,Zoidberg,"Hey, look! A fog is rolling in."
Zoidberg,"Hey, look! A fog is rolling in.",Hermes,"No, that's just the Jamaican pride float."
Hermes,"No, that's just the Jamaican pride float.",Amy,Looks like it's speeding up.
Amy,Looks like it's speeding up.,Hermes,"Oh, no! It's within munching distance of the Doritos float."
Hermes,"Oh, no! It's within munching distance of the Doritos float.",Zapp,"Thank you! Thank you! Kif, you're slacking off of my waving arm."
Zapp,"Thank you! Thank you! Kif, you're slacking off of my waving arm.",Leela,"Oh, no! It's heading right for those two nerds!"
Leela,"Oh, no! It's heading right for those two nerds!",Manbot,"Whoa! Sweet shirt, dude!"
Manbot,"Whoa! Sweet shirt, dude!",Man.,I'm a palaeontologist.
Man.,I'm a palaeontologist.,Fry,I'll save one of you!
Fry,I'll save one of you!,Woman,You're a hero!
Woman,You're a hero!,Mayor,"Poopenmeyer: A hero indeed. What's your name, son?"
Mayor,"Poopenmeyer: A hero indeed. What's your name, son?",Fry,I dunno. Fry?
Fry,I dunno. Fry?,Mayor,"Poopenmeyer Care to say a few words, son?"
Mayor,"Poopenmeyer Care to say a few words, son?",Fry,"Uh... Heroes don't do drugs! Except for Drugman, I guess."
Fry,"Uh... Heroes don't do drugs! Except for Drugman, I guess.",Mayor,Poopenmeyer: I hereby declare that henceforth this Saturday shall be known as Fry-day!
Mayor,Poopenmeyer: I hereby declare that henceforth this Saturday shall be known as Fry-day!,Fry,Huh?
Fry,Huh?,Bender,You!
Bender,You!,Fry,What?
Fry,What?,Bender,Do you think Human life is more precious than Robot life?
Bender,Do you think Human life is more precious than Robot life?,Fry,"No, no... Well, yes, actually."
Fry,"No, no... Well, yes, actually.",Bender,That's it. I'm killin' myself!
Bender,That's it. I'm killin' myself!,Leela,"Oh, Lord."
Leela,"Oh, Lord.",Bender,Well?
Bender,Well?,Amy,"Bender, you always say you're gonna kill yourself, but you almost never do."
Amy,"Bender, you always say you're gonna kill yourself, but you almost never do.",Hermes,"Yeah. Last time you went to the suicide booth, you ended up dating it for six months."
Hermes,"Yeah. Last time you went to the suicide booth, you ended up dating it for six months.",Leela,"Lynn, by the way?"
Leela,"Lynn, by the way?",Bender,"Livin' in Oregon with her crazy mother! See you at my funeral, suckers!"
Bender,"Livin' in Oregon with her crazy mother! See you at my funeral, suckers!",Bender,And make it splatter!
Bender,And make it splatter!,Suicide,booth!
Suicide,booth!,Bender,"Fat, but great. I thought you were in Oregon."
Bender,"Fat, but great. I thought you were in Oregon.",Suicide,booth: My mom tried to commit suicide in me. I don't wanna talk about it.
Suicide,booth: My mom tried to commit suicide in me. I don't wanna talk about it.,Bender,"Well, tell your mom I said hello and it's been nice catchin' up with you. Let's get this show on the road!"
Bender,"Well, tell your mom I said hello and it's been nice catchin' up with you. Let's get this show on the road!",Suicide,"booth: Oh, no! You're going to die, alright. But it won't be suicide. It'll be murder!"
Suicide,"booth: Oh, no! You're going to die, alright. But it won't be suicide. It'll be murder!",Bender,Missed me!
Bender,Missed me!,Fry,He actually did it this time.
Fry,He actually did it this time.,Hermes,"Everyone, put on your takin'-off caps."
Hermes,"Everyone, put on your takin'-off caps.",Fry,Our what?
Fry,Our what?,Professor,"Farnsworth: It's a sign of respect, you savage!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: It's a sign of respect, you savage!",Amy,"Poor, nasty, mean, old Bender. I can't believe we'll never hear his evil laugh again."
Amy,"Poor, nasty, mean, old Bender. I can't believe we'll never hear his evil laugh again.",Fry,I miss 'im so much.
Fry,I miss 'im so much.,Hermes,"There, there, Fry. He may be gone, but he'll always be with us as a trash can."
Hermes,"There, there, Fry. He may be gone, but he'll always be with us as a trash can.",Bender's,"ghost: Look at that loser gettin' garbage dumped in 'im. Glad I'm not him, whoever he is."
Bender's,"ghost: Look at that loser gettin' garbage dumped in 'im. Glad I'm not him, whoever he is.",Leela,"Fry, as his only friend, you should have first pick of body parts."
Leela,"Fry, as his only friend, you should have first pick of body parts.",Bender's,ghost What's wrong with you guys? This is comedy gold!
Bender's,ghost What's wrong with you guys? This is comedy gold!,Fry,"I love you, Bender. Somebody hand me a bolt cutter."
Fry,"I love you, Bender. Somebody hand me a bolt cutter.",Bender's,ghost Pay attention to me!
Bender's,ghost Pay attention to me!,Bender's,ghost: Why can't anybody hear my witty remarks? This is Hell!
Bender's,ghost: Why can't anybody hear my witty remarks? This is Hell!,Robot,Devil: Feh! You wish!
Robot,Devil: Feh! You wish!,Bender's,ghost: Robot Devil? You can hear me? Why is everyone else ignoring me?
Bender's,ghost: Robot Devil? You can hear me? Why is everyone else ignoring me?,Robot,"Devil: Isn't it obvious, Bender?"
Robot,"Devil: Isn't it obvious, Bender?",Bender's,"ghost: Yeah, I guess it is."
Bender's,"ghost: Yeah, I guess it is.",Robot,Devil: You're dead!
Robot,Devil: You're dead!,Bender's,ghost: What?! I thought I just had laryngitis and anti-gravity.
Bender's,ghost: What?! I thought I just had laryngitis and anti-gravity.,Robot,Devil: Come down to my office and I'll explain everything.
Robot,Devil: Come down to my office and I'll explain everything.,Bender's,ghost: So what's happenin' to me? And I'll take my answer in any form but a song!
Bender's,ghost: So what's happenin' to me? And I'll take my answer in any form but a song!,Robot,"Devil You see, Bender, it's simple. You're a ghost!"
Robot,"Devil You see, Bender, it's simple. You're a ghost!",Bender's,ghost: A g-g-g-g-ghost?!
Bender's,ghost: A g-g-g-g-ghost?!,Robot,"Devil Because you killed yourself, you're in Limbo. Your software was exported to the computational cloud."
Robot,"Devil Because you killed yourself, you're in Limbo. Your software was exported to the computational cloud.",Bender's,ghost?
Bender's,ghost?,Robot,Devil: Your disembodied programme is now running on the wireless network shared by all machinery.
Robot,Devil: Your disembodied programme is now running on the wireless network shared by all machinery.,Bender's,"ghost: Cut to the chase, Smokey! How do I get outta Limbo?"
Bender's,"ghost: Cut to the chase, Smokey! How do I get outta Limbo?",Robot,Devil: That's the laughy part! You can't! You're stuck in an infinite loop.
Robot,Devil: That's the laughy part! You can't! You're stuck in an infinite loop.,Bender's,"ghost I don't have time for that. Man, this is all Fry's fault!"
Bender's,"ghost I don't have time for that. Man, this is all Fry's fault!",Robot,Devil They still stink of candy corn!
Robot,Devil They still stink of candy corn!,Bender's,ghost: Get this: That jerk said Human life was more valuable than Robot life!
Bender's,ghost: Get this: That jerk said Human life was more valuable than Robot life!,Robot,"Devil After all you've done for him, Fry must die."
Robot,"Devil After all you've done for him, Fry must die.",Bender's,"ghost: I know, right? I'd murder him good if only I was still alive."
Bender's,"ghost: I know, right? I'd murder him good if only I was still alive.",Robot,"Devil: Bender, would you like to make a deal?"
Robot,"Devil: Bender, would you like to make a deal?",Bender's,ghost What have I agreed to?
Bender's,ghost What have I agreed to?,Robot,Devil!
Robot,Devil!,Bender's,ghost: That sounds fair and also fun. I like that there's no catch this time.
Bender's,ghost: That sounds fair and also fun. I like that there's no catch this time.,Robot,Devil: But wait. There's a catch.
Robot,Devil: But wait. There's a catch.,Bender's,ghost: Crap!
Bender's,ghost: Crap!,Robot,Devil Cigars are evil. You won't miss 'em—
Robot,Devil Cigars are evil. You won't miss 'em—,Bender's,"ghost: Okay! I'll do it, I'll do it. Just stop the damn music!"
Bender's,"ghost: Okay! I'll do it, I'll do it. Just stop the damn music!",Bender's,"ghost What are you, deaf?"
Bender's,"ghost What are you, deaf?",Bender's,"ghost Whoa, it's sick! My software can control electronics."
Bender's,"ghost Whoa, it's sick! My software can control electronics.",Fry,No! Not the armpits! Winter's coming!
Fry,No! Not the armpits! Winter's coming!,Hermes,Do you mind doing that later?!
Hermes,Do you mind doing that later?!,Scruffy,Bite my shiny metal ass.
Scruffy,Bite my shiny metal ass.,Fry,Help! I was attacked in my bathroom! By my bathroom! I'm being haunted by a ghost!
Fry,Help! I was attacked in my bathroom! By my bathroom! I'm being haunted by a ghost!,Amy,"Fry... You're just upset because you drove Bender to suicide. Here, take your mind off it with these soothing relaxation balls."
Amy,"Fry... You're just upset because you drove Bender to suicide. Here, take your mind off it with these soothing relaxation balls.",Bender's,ghost One more good scare and I'll be outta Limbo!
Bender's,ghost One more good scare and I'll be outta Limbo!,Bender's,ghost: Hold on to your dookie. It's about to get spooky.
Bender's,ghost: Hold on to your dookie. It's about to get spooky.,Fry,I'm tellin' ya. Somethin' supernatural is happening. I'm scared to death!
Fry,I'm tellin' ya. Somethin' supernatural is happening. I'm scared to death!,Leela,Stop being ridiculous. There's no such thing as whatever you're saying.
Leela,Stop being ridiculous. There's no such thing as whatever you're saying.,Fry,Ow! Ow! Ow!
Fry,Ow! Ow! Ow!,Leela,Whoa. Maybe you're right. I only meant to slap you twice.
Leela,Whoa. Maybe you're right. I only meant to slap you twice.,Fry,All I know is I've got a ghost that needs busting.
Fry,All I know is I've got a ghost that needs busting.,Hermes,Who you gonna call?
Hermes,Who you gonna call?,Fry,Gho—
Fry,Gho—,Female,voice since 1989.
Female,voice since 1989.,Fry,Now do you believe me?!
Fry,Now do you believe me?!,Professor,Farnsworth Enough of your superstitious nonsense. I'm sure that whatever is happening can be explained by science.
Professor,Farnsworth Enough of your superstitious nonsense. I'm sure that whatever is happening can be explained by science.,Gypsy,Let the séance begin!
Gypsy,Let the séance begin!,Professor,Farnsworth!
Professor,Farnsworth!,Gypsy,The veil is lifting. I am gazing into the spirit world... And... Nothing. You said something about a buffet?
Gypsy,The veil is lifting. I am gazing into the spirit world... And... Nothing. You said something about a buffet?,Bender's,"ghost: I'm right here, you lazy shyster!"
Bender's,"ghost: I'm right here, you lazy shyster!",Gypsy,Wait. I'm sensing something.
Gypsy,Wait. I'm sensing something.,Bender's,ghost Aw.
Bender's,ghost Aw.,Fry,Is it a ghost?!
Fry,Is it a ghost?!,Gypsy,"There's no such thing as ghosts, you donkey monkey! It's a Robot ghost."
Gypsy,"There's no such thing as ghosts, you donkey monkey! It's a Robot ghost.",Fry,A Robot ghost?! What Robot would wanna haunt me?
Fry,A Robot ghost?! What Robot would wanna haunt me?,Bender's,"ghost Aw! Tell 'im, you baggy, old crone!"
Bender's,"ghost Aw! Tell 'im, you baggy, old crone!",Professor,Farnsworth: Finally! Any more ridiculous ideas?
Professor,Farnsworth: Finally! Any more ridiculous ideas?,Reverend,Preacherbot Can I get an amen and a goodly helpin' of Scruffy's famous corn biscuits?
Reverend,Preacherbot Can I get an amen and a goodly helpin' of Scruffy's famous corn biscuits?,Scruffy,"Right away, Reverend."
Scruffy,"Right away, Reverend.",Reverend,Preacherbot Might be a problem with your circuit breaker. See ya.
Reverend,Preacherbot Might be a problem with your circuit breaker. See ya.,Fry,"Please! I'm under constant attack by machinery. I can't sleep, I can't think. I can't even think!"
Fry,"Please! I'm under constant attack by machinery. I can't sleep, I can't think. I can't even think!",Reverend,Preacherbot This sacramental firewall scans for and removes ghostware in a twenty-foot radius.
Reverend,Preacherbot This sacramental firewall scans for and removes ghostware in a twenty-foot radius.,Bender's,"ghost: Bring it on, holy man!"
Bender's,"ghost: Bring it on, holy man!",Reverend,Preacherbot: Carry this at all times and the demon cannot harm you. It also keeps cats off the sofa. By killin' 'em!
Reverend,Preacherbot: Carry this at all times and the demon cannot harm you. It also keeps cats off the sofa. By killin' 'em!,Fry,"Yup, I was right."
Fry,"Yup, I was right.",Bender's,"ghost: Okay, Beelze. Fry's dead."
Bender's,"ghost: Okay, Beelze. Fry's dead.",Robot,"Devil Oh, it's you."
Robot,"Devil Oh, it's you.",Bender's,"ghost: A deal's a deal, so give me my body back."
Bender's,"ghost: A deal's a deal, so give me my body back.",Robot,"Devil: Fry's dead, you say? Funny. That's not what it says on his Wikipedia page."
Robot,"Devil: Fry's dead, you say? Funny. That's not what it says on his Wikipedia page.",Bender's,"ghost: Survived the heart attack?! Damn you, Obamacare!"
Bender's,"ghost: Survived the heart attack?! Damn you, Obamacare!",Dr.,"Cahill: I'm afraid your heart has suffered a lot of damage, Mr. Fry. And my cleavage isn't helping."
Dr.,"Cahill: I'm afraid your heart has suffered a lot of damage, Mr. Fry. And my cleavage isn't helping.",Professor,Farnsworth: Not helping him.
Professor,Farnsworth: Not helping him.,Dr.,Cahill: One more sudden shock will kill you.
Dr.,Cahill: One more sudden shock will kill you.,Bender's,ghost: Sudden? That's just the kind of one more shock I was plannin'.
Bender's,ghost: Sudden? That's just the kind of one more shock I was plannin'.,Fry,The machines. They're after me!
Fry,The machines. They're after me!,Dr.,"Cahill: You're suffering from machine phobia. Your only hope is to go to the Amish homeworld, where no machines are allowed."
Dr.,"Cahill: You're suffering from machine phobia. Your only hope is to go to the Amish homeworld, where no machines are allowed.",Fry,Bender.
Fry,Bender.,Bender's,ghost: Say what?
Bender's,ghost: Say what?,Fry,"Now that he's gone, I realise how valuable a Robot life can be... When it belongs to my best friend."
Fry,"Now that he's gone, I realise how valuable a Robot life can be... When it belongs to my best friend.",Bender's,ghost that anyone besides me has ever said.
Bender's,ghost that anyone besides me has ever said.,Female,"voice: Final boarding call for Flight 38 to the Amish homeworld. As a reminder, passengers are limited to two carry-on butter churns."
Female,"voice: Final boarding call for Flight 38 to the Amish homeworld. As a reminder, passengers are limited to two carry-on butter churns.",Bender's,"ghost: I'm sorry, Fry. I'm sorry! Wait for your ghost buddy!"
Bender's,"ghost: I'm sorry, Fry. I'm sorry! Wait for your ghost buddy!",Amish,"man: Brother Fry, thou hast visitors."
Amish,"man: Brother Fry, thou hast visitors.",Fry,"Well, yank my beard. This be a surprise."
Fry,"Well, yank my beard. This be a surprise.",Leela,"How are you, Fry?"
Leela,"How are you, Fry?",Fry,"Thank you for asking, English. My life is simple, but plain. And, though Bender be gone, somehow, I feel he's still with me."
Fry,"Thank you for asking, English. My life is simple, but plain. And, though Bender be gone, somehow, I feel he's still with me.",Bender's,"ghost Yo, big bonnet! Move your ugly but modest head covering. Oh, right. You can't hear me."
Bender's,"ghost Yo, big bonnet! Move your ugly but modest head covering. Oh, right. You can't hear me.",Robot,"Devil: Oh, I hear you loud and clear."
Robot,"Devil: Oh, I hear you loud and clear.",Bender's,ghost: You're not Granny Hester! What have you done with Granny Hester?!
Bender's,ghost: You're not Granny Hester! What have you done with Granny Hester?!,Robot,"Devil: She's naked, but unharmed. And now, Bender, it's time to fulfil your end of the deal."
Robot,"Devil: She's naked, but unharmed. And now, Bender, it's time to fulfil your end of the deal.",Bender's,ghost: Sorry. I'm not gonna kill Fry. Take me to Hell for all eternity. Just as long as my little bearded meatbag gets to live.
Bender's,ghost: Sorry. I'm not gonna kill Fry. Take me to Hell for all eternity. Just as long as my little bearded meatbag gets to live.,Robot,"Devil: That he will not! For, you see, it is your fate to kill him."
Robot,"Devil: That he will not! For, you see, it is your fate to kill him.",Bender's,ghost I would never kill Fry! Not even to save my own life!
Bender's,ghost I would never kill Fry! Not even to save my own life!,Robot,"Devil: But, Bender, isn't a Robot life worth ever so much more than a Human life?"
Robot,"Devil: But, Bender, isn't a Robot life worth ever so much more than a Human life?",Bender's,ghost: Of course not! What idiot thinks that?!
Bender's,ghost: Of course not! What idiot thinks that?!,Robot,Devil: You!
Robot,Devil: You!,Bender's,ghost: You're usin' my own words against me! Go to Hell!
Bender's,ghost: You're usin' my own words against me! Go to Hell!,Robot,"Devil: Soon enough. But, first, the killing. Have you noticed that animals are sometimes spooked by Robot ghosts?"
Robot,"Devil: Soon enough. But, first, the killing. Have you noticed that animals are sometimes spooked by Robot ghosts?",Bender's,"ghost Run for your life, Fry! Move your hemp flaps!"
Bender's,"ghost Run for your life, Fry! Move your hemp flaps!",Robot,"Devil: He can't hear you, Bender. I'm afraid your friend is about to be Fully Buckminstered!"
Robot,"Devil: He can't hear you, Bender. I'm afraid your friend is about to be Fully Buckminstered!",Bender's,"ghost: Oh, yeah? I'll just jump into a machine and get his attention that way."
Bender's,"ghost: Oh, yeah? I'll just jump into a machine and get his attention that way.",Robot,"Devil: Ah, but there aren't any machines on this planet!"
Robot,"Devil: Ah, but there aren't any machines on this planet!",Bender's,"ghost: There's one, you rusty, old dummy."
Bender's,"ghost: There's one, you rusty, old dummy.",Robot,Devil!
Robot,Devil!,Bender's,"ghost: Got you! Get over here, Devil!"
Bender's,"ghost: Got you! Get over here, Devil!",Fry,And Scruffy's buffet? How's that going?
Fry,And Scruffy's buffet? How's that going?,Bender's,ghost: Fry! Fry! Look out for that bowlin' barn!
Bender's,ghost: Fry! Fry! Look out for that bowlin' barn!,Fry,Bender?! Is that thou?
Fry,Bender?! Is that thou?,Bender's,ghost: I love you!
Bender's,ghost: I love you!,Amy,"Oh, my God! That was close!"
Amy,"Oh, my God! That was close!",Hermes,Did you see that?
Hermes,Did you see that?,Leela,Are you okay? What just happened?
Leela,Are you okay? What just happened?,Fry,"Well, I think the Robot Devil said he'd loved me in Bender's voice, wearing Granny Hester's clothes. I wanna go home!"
Fry,"Well, I think the Robot Devil said he'd loved me in Bender's voice, wearing Granny Hester's clothes. I wanna go home!",Robot,Devil's ghost I get a new body and you get to be a translucid chump 'til the end of time!
Robot,Devil's ghost I get a new body and you get to be a translucid chump 'til the end of time!,Bender's,"ghost: Big deal! I saved my friend. As far as I'm concerned, I won."
Bender's,"ghost: Big deal! I saved my friend. As far as I'm concerned, I won.",Robot,"Devil You may find your victory pyrrhic, when subjected to this lyric, for a trillion years or so. Yeah!"
Robot,"Devil You may find your victory pyrrhic, when subjected to this lyric, for a trillion years or so. Yeah!",Bender's,ghost: Whoa!
Bender's,ghost: Whoa!,Robot,"Devil: Hey, where are you going?!"
Robot,"Devil: Hey, where are you going?!",Bender's,ghost: I don't know and I don't care!
Bender's,ghost: I don't know and I don't care!,Bender's,"ghost Oh, this guy..."
Bender's,"ghost Oh, this guy...",White,"Robot: Bender, for your selfless act in saving Fry, I am pleased to welcome you to Robot Heaven."
White,"Robot: Bender, for your selfless act in saving Fry, I am pleased to welcome you to Robot Heaven.",Bender's,"ghost: Shut up, God!"
Bender's,"ghost: Shut up, God!",White,Robot: Beg pardon?
White,Robot: Beg pardon?,Bender's,ghost: I wanna go back to Robot Earth. I mean regular Earth.
Bender's,ghost: I wanna go back to Robot Earth. I mean regular Earth.,White,Robot Just get out.
White,Robot Just get out.,Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Bender,"I'm back, baby!"
Bender,"I'm back, baby!",Fry,You're back from the dead?!
Fry,You're back from the dead?!,Bender,I'm back from lots of stuff.
Bender,I'm back from lots of stuff.,Fry,"Hey, wait. Did you haunt me?"
Fry,"Hey, wait. Did you haunt me?",Hermes,"Well, we're bankrupt in six, five..."
Hermes,"Well, we're bankrupt in six, five...",Hermes,"Four, three..."
Hermes,"Four, three...",Hermes,"Two, one. And we're out of business."
Hermes,"Two, one. And we're out of business.",Professor,Farnsworth: Good news! We're back in business. We've been hired to deliver an envelope.
Professor,Farnsworth: Good news! We're back in business. We've been hired to deliver an envelope.,Leela,"It's for you, Professor."
Leela,"It's for you, Professor.",Professor,"Farnsworth Oh, my. We're being foreclosed upon. You're all terrible and incompetent!"
Professor,"Farnsworth Oh, my. We're being foreclosed upon. You're all terrible and incompetent!",Amy,I resent that!
Amy,I resent that!,Hermes,Eleven million dollars.
Hermes,Eleven million dollars.,Bender,And... Boned!
Bender,And... Boned!,Professor,"Farnsworth: Aw. I suppose there's nothing left to do but move out. Leela, Amy, pack us a lunch for our new lives under the bridge while us men reminisce and smoke some stogies."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Aw. I suppose there's nothing left to do but move out. Leela, Amy, pack us a lunch for our new lives under the bridge while us men reminisce and smoke some stogies.",Leela,"We are not packing lunches, you walking beer commercials. It was you men who drove this company into the ground. Remember Fry's idea to offer free delivery?"
Leela,"We are not packing lunches, you walking beer commercials. It was you men who drove this company into the ground. Remember Fry's idea to offer free delivery?",Fry,It got us a lot of customers!
Fry,It got us a lot of customers!,Leela,We're a delivery company!
Leela,We're a delivery company!,Amy,"If you wanna save this company, you should listen to a woman's idea for once."
Amy,"If you wanna save this company, you should listen to a woman's idea for once.",Hermes,Okay. What you got?
Hermes,Okay. What you got?,Leela,An airline!
Leela,An airline!,Amy,"Yeah! Wait, what?"
Amy,"Yeah! Wait, what?",Leela,"We should become a commercial airline. I mean, we've got a ship, and teleporters won't be invented for another fifteen years, according to that guy from the future."
Leela,"We should become a commercial airline. I mean, we've got a ship, and teleporters won't be invented for another fifteen years, according to that guy from the future.",Amy,Wow! That's actually a really good idea for a woman!
Amy,Wow! That's actually a really good idea for a woman!,Professor,Farnsworth: Puff! What else you ladies got?
Professor,Farnsworth: Puff! What else you ladies got?,Bender,Girls-of-Planet-Express calendar!
Bender,Girls-of-Planet-Express calendar!,Fry,"Girly calendar? Great idea, Amy!"
Fry,"Girly calendar? Great idea, Amy!",Hermes,"Okay, then. Leela, Amy, come to work topless tomorrow."
Hermes,"Okay, then. Leela, Amy, come to work topless tomorrow.",Leela,Forget it! I promised myself I wouldn't pose naked until I was married.
Leela,Forget it! I promised myself I wouldn't pose naked until I was married.,Hermes,Sorry. It's in your contract. All female employees must pose nude if requested.
Hermes,Sorry. It's in your contract. All female employees must pose nude if requested.,Leela,That's discriminatory!
Leela,That's discriminatory!,Hermes,"No, it's in all our contracts. Here's mine. All female employees must pose nude if requested."
Hermes,"No, it's in all our contracts. Here's mine. All female employees must pose nude if requested.",Fry,Sounds fun.
Fry,Sounds fun.,Bender,"Back to work, Hermes!"
Bender,"Back to work, Hermes!",Scruffy,Now that's what I call fine print.
Scruffy,Now that's what I call fine print.,Amy,"Okay, but good luck making a girly calendar with only two female employees."
Amy,"Okay, but good luck making a girly calendar with only two female employees.",LaBarbara,"Oh, husband! I'm so excited about this new job."
LaBarbara,"Oh, husband! I'm so excited about this new job.",Hermes,"And it's excited about you, LaBarbara. First order of business is to put on your uniform and take your ID photo."
Hermes,"And it's excited about you, LaBarbara. First order of business is to put on your uniform and take your ID photo.",Leela,"Look, I agree that it makes space walking more comfortable, but, for a photo shoot, it's a little... Unsavoury. Over."
Leela,"Look, I agree that it makes space walking more comfortable, but, for a photo shoot, it's a little... Unsavoury. Over.",Bender,Stop actually washin' and play with the sponges!
Bender,Stop actually washin' and play with the sponges!,Leela,But the ship is dirty.
Leela,But the ship is dirty.,Bender,"Uh, whatever. I ran out of film an hour ago."
Bender,"Uh, whatever. I ran out of film an hour ago.",Professor,"Farnsworth: No, no. This won't do. A three-month calendar? What is this, Mercury?"
Professor,"Farnsworth: No, no. This won't do. A three-month calendar? What is this, Mercury?",Amy,I told you it wouldn't work.
Amy,I told you it wouldn't work.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Well, you should've talked louder. Fortunately, I came up with a brilliant idea to save Planet Express. We'll turn it into a commercial airline!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Well, you should've talked louder. Fortunately, I came up with a brilliant idea to save Planet Express. We'll turn it into a commercial airline!",Leela,But that was my idea!
Leela,But that was my idea!,Professor,Farnsworth What?
Professor,Farnsworth What?,Leela,"There. It was hard work, but it beats posing in demeaning, skimpy modelling outfits."
Leela,"There. It was hard work, but it beats posing in demeaning, skimpy modelling outfits.",Professor,"Farnsworth: Ladies, here are your demeaning, skimpy stewardess outfits."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Ladies, here are your demeaning, skimpy stewardess outfits.",Bender,"Sorry, ma'am. I'll have to confiscate your artificial knee cap."
Bender,"Sorry, ma'am. I'll have to confiscate your artificial knee cap.",Hattie,"Okay, here you go."
Hattie,"Okay, here you go.",Fry,"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the plane's president speaking."
Fry,"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the plane's president speaking.",Fry,We are cleared for takeoff.
Fry,We are cleared for takeoff.,Leela,You put Goofus and Ganja in charge? I'm the only trained pilot here.
Leela,You put Goofus and Ganja in charge? I'm the only trained pilot here.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Please, Leela. Who ever heard of a plane with a woman president?"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Please, Leela. Who ever heard of a plane with a woman president?",Bender,"In the event of a wormhole sendin' us back in time, do not kill your parents. If you who are travelling with small children, help them not to kill you before not killin' your own parents. Now please turn off all electronic devices."
Bender,"In the event of a wormhole sendin' us back in time, do not kill your parents. If you who are travelling with small children, help them not to kill you before not killin' your own parents. Now please turn off all electronic devices.",Fry,"Uh, preparing for takeoff."
Fry,"Uh, preparing for takeoff.",Man,"I kill you, my friend!"
Man,"I kill you, my friend!",LaBarbara,Now sit back and endure our in-flight entertainment.
LaBarbara,Now sit back and endure our in-flight entertainment.,Zoidberg,"Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! So what's the deal with airline food, hmm? They offer you two choices, but they're always outta one. Uh, by the way, we're outta both choices."
Zoidberg,"Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! So what's the deal with airline food, hmm? They offer you two choices, but they're always outta one. Uh, by the way, we're outta both choices.",Amana,For a Robot.
Amana,For a Robot.,Bender,"Thanks, baby. I don't know what you're doing back here in the galley, 'cause you got a first-class C."
Bender,"Thanks, baby. I don't know what you're doing back here in the galley, 'cause you got a first-class C.",Leela,"Captain, we were supposed to land two days ago. Is everything— Hey!"
Leela,"Captain, we were supposed to land two days ago. Is everything— Hey!",Fry,"Are we at the fair yet, Mommy?"
Fry,"Are we at the fair yet, Mommy?",Leela,We're not at the any place! And we're out of fuel!
Leela,We're not at the any place! And we're out of fuel!,Amy,"Attention, passengers. Please remain seated until the plane comes to a complete crash."
Amy,"Attention, passengers. Please remain seated until the plane comes to a complete crash.",Professor,Farnsworth: Perhaps we should reconsider the girly calendar.
Professor,Farnsworth: Perhaps we should reconsider the girly calendar.,Leela,"Flight-attendance log. We've crashed near a river of mercury on a lifeless, mineral world. Supplies are low. Cannibalism, imminent. Radio, busted. Our one hope is to form a society."
Leela,"Flight-attendance log. We've crashed near a river of mercury on a lifeless, mineral world. Supplies are low. Cannibalism, imminent. Radio, busted. Our one hope is to form a society.",Hermes,"Okay, then. Men, let's get hunting. The women folk can cook what we catch."
Hermes,"Okay, then. Men, let's get hunting. The women folk can cook what we catch.",LaBarbara,"No one put you in charge, husband. I'm the only one here who ever ran a society."
LaBarbara,"No one put you in charge, husband. I'm the only one here who ever ran a society.",Hermes,Roller derby is not a society!
Hermes,Roller derby is not a society!,LaBarbara,That would be me.
LaBarbara,That would be me.,Hermes,Practically no one. All in favour of me?
Hermes,Practically no one. All in favour of me?,Dr.,Cahill: Eight to eight. It's a tie.
Dr.,Cahill: Eight to eight. It's a tie.,Professor,Farnsworth: We can't trust a woman's math! Count again!
Professor,Farnsworth: We can't trust a woman's math! Count again!,Big,"rock Alien: Greetings, soft ones. Who among you is your leader?"
Big,"rock Alien: Greetings, soft ones. Who among you is your leader?",Men,He is!
Men,He is!,Women,She is!
Women,She is!,Big,rock Alien: Curious. You're a diarchic society?
Big,rock Alien: Curious. You're a diarchic society?,Hermes,"Um, maybe. But, whatever we are, I'm the leader of it."
Hermes,"Um, maybe. But, whatever we are, I'm the leader of it.",LaBarbara,"Leader? Fat man, you couldn't even run a bath."
LaBarbara,"Leader? Fat man, you couldn't even run a bath.",LaBarbara,"Well, you sure can run something: Your mouth!"
LaBarbara,"Well, you sure can run something: Your mouth!",Big,rock Alien: Silence! Even a young pebble could see your race is divided based on the configuration of your twenty-third chromosome.
Big,rock Alien: Silence! Even a young pebble could see your race is divided based on the configuration of your twenty-third chromosome.,Amy,"You mean, along gender lines?"
Amy,"You mean, along gender lines?",Big,rock Alien: Gender?
Big,rock Alien: Gender?,Sal,Ows!
Sal,Ows!,Big,rock Alien.
Big,rock Alien.,Zoidberg,"Interesting. Come on, men! Let's kill him!"
Zoidberg,"Interesting. Come on, men! Let's kill him!",Big,"rock Alien: Your genders differ in many ways, but, as with all things that are different, chocolate and vanilla, Mac and PC, one is always clearly better."
Big,"rock Alien: Your genders differ in many ways, but, as with all things that are different, chocolate and vanilla, Mac and PC, one is always clearly better.",Bender,"Chocolate, Mac, men. The end."
Bender,"Chocolate, Mac, men. The end.",Big,"rock Alien: Well, I've got nothing to do for the next eight million years. Therefore, I will administer a series of tests to determine the superior gender. Test number one: Who can drink the most sulfur? Test inconclusive. Test number two: Who can drink the most arsenic?"
Big,"rock Alien: Well, I've got nothing to do for the next eight million years. Therefore, I will administer a series of tests to determine the superior gender. Test number one: Who can drink the most sulfur? Test inconclusive. Test number two: Who can drink the most arsenic?",Professor,Farnsworth: Just ask us some damn questions.
Professor,Farnsworth: Just ask us some damn questions.,Big,rock Alien Test complete. What is the score?
Big,rock Alien Test complete. What is the score?,Bender,"Uh... Men, five. Women, less."
Bender,"Uh... Men, five. Women, less.",Amana,Hey! He's lying.
Amana,Hey! He's lying.,Big,rock Alien: Obviously. That was a test to see who could lie better. The men win that round.
Big,rock Alien: Obviously. That was a test to see who could lie better. The men win that round.,Professor,"Farnsworth: In your face, decumbent urinators."
Professor,"Farnsworth: In your face, decumbent urinators.",Big,"rock Alien: So far, I have learned nothing, but that's probably as much my fault as yours. The time has come for the final test."
Big,"rock Alien: So far, I have learned nothing, but that's probably as much my fault as yours. The time has come for the final test.",Fry,"Uh, we usually call it the lightning round."
Fry,"Uh, we usually call it the lightning round.",Big,"rock Alien: As you may have noticed, it's getting hotter here."
Big,"rock Alien: As you may have noticed, it's getting hotter here.",Leela,It's nice.
Leela,It's nice.,Fry,It's too hot.
Fry,It's too hot.,Zoidberg,Would one of you chicks change the thermostat?
Zoidberg,Would one of you chicks change the thermostat?,Big,"rock Alien: Tomorrow morning, this planet makes its closest pass to the sun. You will all be boiled alive like retired circus animals. Unless you somehow can cross the Great Alkali Plains and reach shelter in the Cave of Harmony."
Big,"rock Alien: Tomorrow morning, this planet makes its closest pass to the sun. You will all be boiled alive like retired circus animals. Unless you somehow can cross the Great Alkali Plains and reach shelter in the Cave of Harmony.",Fry,That sounds hard.
Fry,That sounds hard.,Big,"rock Alien: Which ever gender reaches the cave will survive and may the inferior gender burst into something. Flames, I guess."
Big,"rock Alien: Which ever gender reaches the cave will survive and may the inferior gender burst into something. Flames, I guess.",Hermes,Uh-oh. I think we're walking in circles. I recognise the pattern of striations on that gypsum formation.
Hermes,Uh-oh. I think we're walking in circles. I recognise the pattern of striations on that gypsum formation.,Fry,"Also, my shoe that fell off."
Fry,"Also, my shoe that fell off.",Bender,"Oh, God. We're all gonna die in agony."
Bender,"Oh, God. We're all gonna die in agony.",Small,rock Alien: Howdy there. You fellows need some directions?
Small,rock Alien: Howdy there. You fellows need some directions?,Bender,"No, we're fine."
Bender,"No, we're fine.",Professor,Farnsworth: Beat it.
Professor,Farnsworth: Beat it.,Fry,Don't worry about it.
Fry,Don't worry about it.,LaBarbara,"Keep it up, sistren. Only a few more miles to the cave. Let's just buckle down and—"
LaBarbara,"Keep it up, sistren. Only a few more miles to the cave. Let's just buckle down and—",Amy,Look! A clearance sale!
Amy,Look! A clearance sale!,LaBarbara,What?! Where?
LaBarbara,What?! Where?,LaBarbara,I can't believe that sale was just a mirage. Now we're going to die without so much as a factory second-clutch purse to show for it.
LaBarbara,I can't believe that sale was just a mirage. Now we're going to die without so much as a factory second-clutch purse to show for it.,Amy,It would've been nice to shop at Tommy Hilfiger one last time.
Amy,It would've been nice to shop at Tommy Hilfiger one last time.,Hattie,It wasn't Tommy Hilfi-gigger. It was Linens 'n Things!
Hattie,It wasn't Tommy Hilfi-gigger. It was Linens 'n Things!,Petunia,The hell it was! It was a Juicy Couture!
Petunia,The hell it was! It was a Juicy Couture!,Leela,I guess we all saw what we wanted to see.
Leela,I guess we all saw what we wanted to see.,Hermes,We can't make it tonight. We'll set up camp here by this shoe.
Hermes,We can't make it tonight. We'll set up camp here by this shoe.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, gentlemen. When that sun rises in the morning, we're toast. These are our last moments together. So, if anyone's got any good fart jokes, now would be the time."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, gentlemen. When that sun rises in the morning, we're toast. These are our last moments together. So, if anyone's got any good fart jokes, now would be the time.",Amy,It's a schmundered degrees and all we have to drink are non-diet sodas.
Amy,It's a schmundered degrees and all we have to drink are non-diet sodas.,Petunia,It's gonna ruin ma figger.
Petunia,It's gonna ruin ma figger.,Leela,"Wait. I forgot that Amana here is a refrigerator. If we could supercharge her freon with a gas compressor, we might survive the heat and make it to the cave."
Leela,"Wait. I forgot that Amana here is a refrigerator. If we could supercharge her freon with a gas compressor, we might survive the heat and make it to the cave.",Amana,"Hey, yeah! But the only gas compressor on this planet is inside Bender's ass."
Amana,"Hey, yeah! But the only gas compressor on this planet is inside Bender's ass.",Dr.,Cahill: Was that a fart joke? Because I don't find those amusing.
Dr.,Cahill: Was that a fart joke? Because I don't find those amusing.,LaBarbara,"No one does! Nevertheless, Bender's gas blaster may be our only hope."
LaBarbara,"No one does! Nevertheless, Bender's gas blaster may be our only hope.",Hermes,"Oh! Wife? What are you doin' with Bender's shiny metal, gas compressor?"
Hermes,"Oh! Wife? What are you doin' with Bender's shiny metal, gas compressor?",LaBarbara,None of your Biz Markie. Wait a second. What's that do wah in your ditty bag?
LaBarbara,None of your Biz Markie. Wait a second. What's that do wah in your ditty bag?,Hermes,Okay... So we were hot. I stole Amana's freon coil so we could hook it up to Bender's ass and build a cooler.
Hermes,Okay... So we were hot. I stole Amana's freon coil so we could hook it up to Bender's ass and build a cooler.,LaBarbara,"You are no better than me, ya shifty tree skink! How do you live with yourself?"
LaBarbara,"You are no better than me, ya shifty tree skink! How do you live with yourself?",Hermes,"Damn it, woman! You are makin' me highly Selassie."
Hermes,"Damn it, woman! You are makin' me highly Selassie.",LaBarbara,"Don't you talk to me that way, you big, hairy Belafonte!"
LaBarbara,"Don't you talk to me that way, you big, hairy Belafonte!",Hermes,"Oh... You cookin' me back bacon. Thank you, woman."
Hermes,"Oh... You cookin' me back bacon. Thank you, woman.",LaBarbara,That's not back bacon! That's your back bakin'!
LaBarbara,That's not back bacon! That's your back bakin'!,Hermes,"Oh, no! We overslept."
Hermes,"Oh, no! We overslept.",Amy,The mercury's boiling!
Amy,The mercury's boiling!,Petunia,Can't breathe... Lungs burnin'...
Petunia,Can't breathe... Lungs burnin'...,Fry,My lucky shoe!
Fry,My lucky shoe!,Bender,I learned that from a movie.
Bender,I learned that from a movie.,Big,"rock Alien: I find both genders supremely disappointing. The real reason I administered this bizarre, outer-space test was to teach you to work together! But you couldn't. Thanks to you, I lost my bet with the Borax Kid."
Big,"rock Alien: I find both genders supremely disappointing. The real reason I administered this bizarre, outer-space test was to teach you to work together! But you couldn't. Thanks to you, I lost my bet with the Borax Kid.",Fry,Never bet against me being stupid.
Fry,Never bet against me being stupid.,Big,rock Alien: Enough! Your gender differences have kept you from achieving harmony. There is only one way to resolve this conflict.
Big,rock Alien: Enough! Your gender differences have kept you from achieving harmony. There is only one way to resolve this conflict.,Fry,My wing-wang's gone!
Fry,My wing-wang's gone!,Leela,My girls!
Leela,My girls!,Bender,My antenna!
Bender,My antenna!,Hattie,My kajigger!
Hattie,My kajigger!,Zoidberg,My gonopores! Look it up.
Zoidberg,My gonopores! Look it up.,Big,rock Alien: I have freed you from the tyranny of gender. Now go in peace. Or actually stay here. I'll go in peace.
Big,rock Alien: I have freed you from the tyranny of gender. Now go in peace. Or actually stay here. I'll go in peace.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Good news, nuchachos! The ship is nearly repaired."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Good news, nuchachos! The ship is nearly repaired.",Sal,Work goes fasters withouts no secondary sex characteristicses at which to hoot. Now who wants to sing some Christopher Cross songs?
Sal,Work goes fasters withouts no secondary sex characteristicses at which to hoot. Now who wants to sing some Christopher Cross songs?,LaBarbara,I do!
LaBarbara,I do!,Fry,"Look, associates. I made a hammock from our clothing."
Fry,"Look, associates. I made a hammock from our clothing.",Leela,How industrious!
Leela,How industrious!,Amy,Do you mind if we sleep with you?
Amy,Do you mind if we sleep with you?,Fry,"Well, good night."
Fry,"Well, good night.",Hermes,Everyone got along so well today.
Hermes,Everyone got along so well today.,Hermes,I enjoy humour when no one gets hurt.
Hermes,I enjoy humour when no one gets hurt.,LaBarbara,"Your companionship is inoffensive, Hermes."
LaBarbara,"Your companionship is inoffensive, Hermes.",Hermes,"Likewise. Really, what are we missing out on by not having sex right now?"
Hermes,"Likewise. Really, what are we missing out on by not having sex right now?",LaBarbara,Well...
LaBarbara,Well...,Hermes,Give us back our genitals!
Hermes,Give us back our genitals!,Big,"rock Alien Oh, it's you. Why do you want your genders? You seem happier without them."
Big,"rock Alien Oh, it's you. Why do you want your genders? You seem happier without them.",LaBarbara,We want that back.
LaBarbara,We want that back.,Big,rock Alien: Very well. Perhaps it is I who have learned a lesson. Or something.
Big,rock Alien: Very well. Perhaps it is I who have learned a lesson. Or something.,Bender,Now what?
Bender,Now what?,Big,"rock Alien: I have decided, after little thought, to return your genders."
Big,"rock Alien: I have decided, after little thought, to return your genders.",Amy,"Not cool, bro! Our genders are all reversed!"
Amy,"Not cool, bro! Our genders are all reversed!",Hattie,"Now I got a what-ya-call-it instead of a kajigger, you stupid what-ya-call-it!"
Hattie,"Now I got a what-ya-call-it instead of a kajigger, you stupid what-ya-call-it!",Big,rock Alien: Okay. Stop yelling at me! It was an innocent mistake. Allow me to rectify it.
Big,rock Alien: Okay. Stop yelling at me! It was an innocent mistake. Allow me to rectify it.,Zapp,I got your distress call and came as quickly as I wanted to. No need to thank me.
Zapp,I got your distress call and came as quickly as I wanted to. No need to thank me.,Leela,"What's your problem, Holmes? Now we'll be stuck like this forever!"
Leela,"What's your problem, Holmes? Now we'll be stuck like this forever!",Zapp,"Chill out, dude. Well, hello from the neck down."
Zapp,"Chill out, dude. Well, hello from the neck down.",Bender,Thank you for your patronage. We know you have a choice in airlines and you made the wrong one. No refunds!
Bender,Thank you for your patronage. We know you have a choice in airlines and you made the wrong one. No refunds!,Hermes,Aren't we going to cuddle?
Hermes,Aren't we going to cuddle?,LaBarbara,"Woman, I'm tired! I'm sorry. It's just... I need my sleep. I got to get up five times a night to play Xbox."
LaBarbara,"Woman, I'm tired! I'm sorry. It's just... I need my sleep. I got to get up five times a night to play Xbox.",Hermes,"I understand. Womanhood also takes some getting used to. For example, did you know there are more than two feelin's?"
Hermes,"I understand. Womanhood also takes some getting used to. For example, did you know there are more than two feelin's?",LaBarbara,"I only need one feelin': Love for you, wifey man."
LaBarbara,"I only need one feelin': Love for you, wifey man.",Hermes,Your manwich!
Hermes,Your manwich!,LaBarbara,No wonder it's such a mess in there. These bad boys are hard to aim.
LaBarbara,No wonder it's such a mess in there. These bad boys are hard to aim.,Leela,"I hate being a man. I smell bad, my face is scratchy, and the food at those strip clubs is terrible."
Leela,"I hate being a man. I smell bad, my face is scratchy, and the food at those strip clubs is terrible.",Amy!,"Still, I'm sure the women are having an even harder time."
Amy!,"Still, I'm sure the women are having an even harder time.",Bender,OMG! Being chicks is so much fun.
Bender,OMG! Being chicks is so much fun.,Fry,"Now, when I say stupid things, guys all laugh and buy me stuff."
Fry,"Now, when I say stupid things, guys all laugh and buy me stuff.",Leela,"What a skank. Anyway, Planet Express is still facing foreclosure. There's no way we can raise enough money to save this company."
Leela,"What a skank. Anyway, Planet Express is still facing foreclosure. There's no way we can raise enough money to save this company.",Amy,Wait. What about the girly calendar?
Amy,Wait. What about the girly calendar?,Fry,"Well, that won't work, remember? We only have three women on staff—"
Fry,"Well, that won't work, remember? We only have three women on staff—",LaBarbara,All female employees must pose nude if requested.
LaBarbara,All female employees must pose nude if requested.,Leela,And it is requested.
Leela,And it is requested.,Professor,Farnsworth: Let's just hope we can sell enough of these calendars by tomorrow.
Professor,Farnsworth: Let's just hope we can sell enough of these calendars by tomorrow.,Professor,Farnsworth: We sold enough of those calendars since yesterday!
Professor,Farnsworth: We sold enough of those calendars since yesterday!,Leela,Thank God most of our fans are huge perverts!
Leela,Thank God most of our fans are huge perverts!,Fry,"Who're you, stranger?"
Fry,"Who're you, stranger?",Borax,"Kid: Well, madam, folks called me the Borax Kid. My friend, the other rock Alien, died without settin' your genitals to right, so I reckon it's up to me to sex you up proper."
Borax,"Kid: Well, madam, folks called me the Borax Kid. My friend, the other rock Alien, died without settin' your genitals to right, so I reckon it's up to me to sex you up proper.",Leela,My girls are back!
Leela,My girls are back!,Fry,Ow! Yay!
Fry,Ow! Yay!,Hermes,"So what did you like better, my love? Bein' a man or a woman?"
Hermes,"So what did you like better, my love? Bein' a man or a woman?",LaBarbara,I don't care what parts I have. As long as they interlock with yours.
LaBarbara,I don't care what parts I have. As long as they interlock with yours.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Ah, marriage. It combines the contentedness of being neutered with the occasional sex of being not."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Ah, marriage. It combines the contentedness of being neutered with the occasional sex of being not.",Borax,"Kid Come on, boy! Giddy up!"
Borax,"Kid Come on, boy! Giddy up!",Leela,And that's that.
Leela,And that's that.,Scruffy,What I miss?
Scruffy,What I miss?,Albert,I got one!
Albert,I got one!,Warden,"Vogel Today's storyteller is a space captain who grew up right here at the Orphanarium. Welcome back the bedwetter of building D, Turanga Leela!"
Warden,"Vogel Today's storyteller is a space captain who grew up right here at the Orphanarium. Welcome back the bedwetter of building D, Turanga Leela!",Leela,What book would you like me to read first?
Leela,What book would you like me to read first?,Albert,We don't got books no more.
Albert,We don't got books no more.,Leela,What?
Leela,What?,Warden,"Vogel. Look, sometimes you gotta choose between eatin' and reading. So they ate the books. Just... Make somethin' up!"
Warden,"Vogel. Look, sometimes you gotta choose between eatin' and reading. So they ate the books. Just... Make somethin' up!",Leela,"Once upon a time, there was a... A..."
Leela,"Once upon a time, there was a... A...",Sally,Princess?
Sally,Princess?,Leela...,"One-eyed princess in a long, flowing... Tank top. And she lived in a magical, one-room..."
Leela...,"One-eyed princess in a long, flowing... Tank top. And she lived in a magical, one-room...",Sally,Castle?
Sally,Castle?,Leela,"Yeah. If you believe the listing agent. Anyhow, one day, the princess went off to... Uh... Tell a story! And, then, that's exactly what she did do that. And they all lived happily ever after. The end."
Leela,"Yeah. If you believe the listing agent. Anyhow, one day, the princess went off to... Uh... Tell a story! And, then, that's exactly what she did do that. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.",Albert,Miss Leela? I have a question!
Albert,Miss Leela? I have a question!,Leela,"Yes, Albert?"
Leela,"Yes, Albert?",Albert,That story was bad.
Albert,That story was bad.,Leela,That's not really a question.
Leela,That's not really a question.,Albert,That wasn't really a story.
Albert,That wasn't really a story.,Leela,But I promise: I'll make up a better story and come back again.
Leela,But I promise: I'll make up a better story and come back again.,Sally,Please don't...
Sally,Please don't...,Leela,See you soon!
Leela,See you soon!,Leela,"Fry, I'm writing here! Do you have to play that?"
Leela,"Fry, I'm writing here! Do you have to play that?",Fry,Yes. It's the only song I know.
Fry,Yes. It's the only song I know.,Zoidberg,"Look, friends! I accidentally learned to tap-dance!"
Zoidberg,"Look, friends! I accidentally learned to tap-dance!",Leela,"Zoidberg, I'm trying to—"
Leela,"Zoidberg, I'm trying to—",Hermes,Time for my four-twenty-one daiquiri!
Hermes,Time for my four-twenty-one daiquiri!,Bender,Guys! Guys! Guess who just got commissioned as a tugboat!
Bender,Guys! Guys! Guess who just got commissioned as a tugboat!,Amy,"Oh, yeah! Pachinko break!"
Amy,"Oh, yeah! Pachinko break!",Pachinko,machine: Tokyo crazy balls! Yes!
Pachinko,machine: Tokyo crazy balls! Yes!,Professor,Farnsworth Maybe it's too much albumin because of gravity...
Professor,Farnsworth Maybe it's too much albumin because of gravity...,Leela,"I'm going to some other planet, where I can concentrate."
Leela,"I'm going to some other planet, where I can concentrate.",Professor,"Farnsworth: Searing, searing pain that feels as if it were in a vice."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Searing, searing pain that feels as if it were in a vice.",Bender,was rude.
Bender,was rude.,Leela,I'm sure they'll like it more than my last one.
Leela,I'm sure they'll like it more than my last one.,Warden,"Vogel: They liked hunger cramps more than your last one. Anyhow, you'll have to wait. The kids are busy right now."
Warden,"Vogel: They liked hunger cramps more than your last one. Anyhow, you'll have to wait. The kids are busy right now.",Leela,Oh. Is the organ-harvesting clown here?
Leela,Oh. Is the organ-harvesting clown here?,Warden,"Vogel: Nah. Rusty comes on Tuesdays now. Today, it's the owner of the Tickelodeon Kids Network."
Warden,"Vogel: Nah. Rusty comes on Tuesdays now. Today, it's the owner of the Tickelodeon Kids Network.",Abner,Doubledeal Get ready to be subjected to our new Fall shows! Mr. Funny Bunny here will gauge your reaction by bombarding your brains with harmless snuggle rays.
Abner,Doubledeal Get ready to be subjected to our new Fall shows! Mr. Funny Bunny here will gauge your reaction by bombarding your brains with harmless snuggle rays.,Albert,"He gives me a nice, warm feeling in my eyeballs!"
Albert,"He gives me a nice, warm feeling in my eyeballs!",Male,voice #1.
Male,voice #1.,Little,girl #1 He's so hot! I wish he wasn't my brother.
Little,girl #1 He's so hot! I wish he wasn't my brother.,Male,voice #1.
Male,voice #1.,Male,voice #2: Look! Up on the drive-through menu! It's Captain Mega Meat and his young ward Bottomless Boy!
Male,voice #2: Look! Up on the drive-through menu! It's Captain Mega Meat and his young ward Bottomless Boy!,Bottomless,Boy A skinny kid needs our help!
Bottomless,Boy A skinny kid needs our help!,Captain,Mega Meat: Supersize me!
Captain,Mega Meat: Supersize me!,Male,voice #3!
Male,voice #3!,Abner,Doubledeal Don't have any children for the next couple of days.
Abner,Doubledeal Don't have any children for the next couple of days.,Warden,"Vogel: Alright, boys and girls. Enough fun! Your old friend Leela is back with a brand-new story!"
Warden,"Vogel: Alright, boys and girls. Enough fun! Your old friend Leela is back with a brand-new story!",Leela,I think you'll enjoy this one.
Leela,I think you'll enjoy this one.,Sally,Can't we just get our organs harvested?
Sally,Can't we just get our organs harvested?,And,laugh and learn and smile and think and other happy things.
And,laugh and learn and smile and think and other happy things.,Albert,Say more things like that!
Albert,Say more things like that!,Leela,"Okey-doke. One sunny, funny day, there was an unfamiliar visitor in Rumbledy-Hump."
Leela,"Okey-doke. One sunny, funny day, there was an unfamiliar visitor in Rumbledy-Hump.",Although,I breathe chlorine.
Although,I breathe chlorine.,Sally,Wow! I can't believe you imaginated all that stuff!
Sally,Wow! I can't believe you imaginated all that stuff!,Nina,Will you come back again and tell us more stories and also adopt us all?
Nina,Will you come back again and tell us more stories and also adopt us all?,Leela,I'll go think some up right now.
Leela,I'll go think some up right now.,Abner,"Doubledeal Lady, you don't know me, but my name is Abner Doubledeal."
Abner,"Doubledeal Lady, you don't know me, but my name is Abner Doubledeal.",Leela!,You're Abner Doubledeal!
Leela!,You're Abner Doubledeal!,Abner,"Doubledeal: I brain-scanned those little nose-pickers during your story. And, sister, their enjoyment glands were squirtin' like Broadway roadkill!"
Abner,"Doubledeal: I brain-scanned those little nose-pickers during your story. And, sister, their enjoyment glands were squirtin' like Broadway roadkill!",Leela,They were?!
Leela,They were?!,Abner,Doubledeal Supercuts coupon.
Abner,Doubledeal Supercuts coupon.,Leela,Don't I need a degree to write gibberish for toddlers?
Leela,Don't I need a degree to write gibberish for toddlers?,Nina,Don't be a fraidy cat like Feffernoose!
Nina,Don't be a fraidy cat like Feffernoose!,Leela,If you just luck out hard enough.
Leela,If you just luck out hard enough.,Abner,Doubledeal I'm gonna need that pen back.
Abner,Doubledeal I'm gonna need that pen back.,Hermes,exciting! I'm on a mostly natural high!
Hermes,exciting! I'm on a mostly natural high!,Amy,These costumes are gonna make it hard to go to the bathroom.
Amy,These costumes are gonna make it hard to go to the bathroom.,Fry,I'm not havin' any problem.
Fry,I'm not havin' any problem.,Abner,"Doubledeal Damn it, I'll call you back, grandma. Nice of you to show up, toots. I mean that sincerely. It's just that I'm in show biz."
Abner,"Doubledeal Damn it, I'll call you back, grandma. Nice of you to show up, toots. I mean that sincerely. It's just that I'm in show biz.",Leela,Sorry. I went to my quiet place to write. Here's the script.
Leela,Sorry. I went to my quiet place to write. Here's the script.,Abner,Doubledeal Okay. Cheap lights. Off-brand camera. And non-union action!
Abner,Doubledeal Okay. Cheap lights. Off-brand camera. And non-union action!,"Fry,",Princess Num Num.
"Fry,",Princess Num Num.,Amy,Ew! I'm all licky-sticky!
Amy,Ew! I'm all licky-sticky!,Fry,"I don't understand. When I like something, I lick it. Like this raccoon."
Fry,"I don't understand. When I like something, I lick it. Like this raccoon.",Leela,Doingg! Don't lick things that don't wanna be licked.
Leela,Doingg! Don't lick things that don't wanna be licked.,Fry,But how do I know what to lick and what not to lick?
Fry,But how do I know what to lick and what not to lick?,Leela,"It's very simple. If it's alive, don't lick it."
Leela,"It's very simple. If it's alive, don't lick it.",Zoidberg,"Like a horse, a turtle, or a cricket."
Zoidberg,"Like a horse, a turtle, or a cricket.",Bender,I like turtles.
Bender,I like turtles.,Poke,it with a stick and lick the stick instead.
Poke,it with a stick and lick the stick instead.,Fry,Now I get it!
Fry,Now I get it!,Zoidberg,Ow!
Zoidberg,Ow!,Leela,"Well, that's all for today. But, before we go, let's do everything we just did two more times."
Leela,"Well, that's all for today. But, before we go, let's do everything we just did two more times.",Bender,"Leela, that was great! Even I have to admire the performance of me, Bender!"
Bender,"Leela, that was great! Even I have to admire the performance of me, Bender!",Amy,"The show looks so cute. Kids'll love it! And it looks so cruddy, their ironic hipster parents will love it."
Amy,"The show looks so cute. Kids'll love it! And it looks so cruddy, their ironic hipster parents will love it.",Leela,"Thanks, guys. But let's be realistic. We all know any TV show that's even slightly good gets cancelled. Sometimes, two or three times."
Leela,"Thanks, guys. But let's be realistic. We all know any TV show that's even slightly good gets cancelled. Sometimes, two or three times.",Abner,Doubledeal: Leela! Tomorrow's ratings just came in from the future. We're a hit!
Abner,Doubledeal: Leela! Tomorrow's ratings just came in from the future. We're a hit!,Leela,What?! My show is a hit?!
Leela,What?! My show is a hit?!,Abner,"Doubledeal: What are you, deaf? It's gonna be bigger than SpongeBot SquareBolts!"
Abner,"Doubledeal: What are you, deaf? It's gonna be bigger than SpongeBot SquareBolts!",SpongeBot,SquareBolts: I interfere with pacemakers!
SpongeBot,SquareBolts: I interfere with pacemakers!,Abner,Doubledeal is how you're gonna die!
Abner,Doubledeal is how you're gonna die!,Fry,"I hope you win, Leela."
Fry,"I hope you win, Leela.",Leela,"Thanks, Fry. It's nice to have the support of viewers like you."
Leela,"Thanks, Fry. It's nice to have the support of viewers like you.",Fry,I'm the star of the show.
Fry,I'm the star of the show.,Leela,Shh!
Leela,Shh!,Female,voice: This is Turanga Leela's first nomination and second time in high heels.
Female,voice: This is Turanga Leela's first nomination and second time in high heels.,Leela,"Wow. I feel so lucky just to have been nominated alongside so many inferior shows. And, to all my young friends at the Orphanarium, thank you for inspiring me to be your hero."
Leela,"Wow. I feel so lucky just to have been nominated alongside so many inferior shows. And, to all my young friends at the Orphanarium, thank you for inspiring me to be your hero.",Calculon,Slurm her!
Calculon,Slurm her!,Bender,So wait. You play a high-school student who's also secretly a rock star who's also secretly a massage chair?
Bender,So wait. You play a high-school student who's also secretly a rock star who's also secretly a massage chair?,Fembot,"No. I play a high-school student who's also secretly a rock star, but, in real life, I'm a massage chair."
Fembot,"No. I play a high-school student who's also secretly a rock star, but, in real life, I'm a massage chair.",Bender,Hmmm. You ever made out with a tugboat?
Bender,Hmmm. You ever made out with a tugboat?,Leela,"Guys, I didn't have time to mention it up there, but I want each of you to know what an honour it is to work with me."
Leela,"Guys, I didn't have time to mention it up there, but I want each of you to know what an honour it is to work with me.",Hermes,Sweet ego of Montego! Someone build a wind farm in front of her mouth.
Hermes,Sweet ego of Montego! Someone build a wind farm in front of her mouth.,Abner,"Doubledeal: Leela, I mean this. You're the greatest creative mind since blah, blah, blah-bity, blah. But it's two AM and you still haven't written tomorrow's episode."
Abner,"Doubledeal: Leela, I mean this. You're the greatest creative mind since blah, blah, blah-bity, blah. But it's two AM and you still haven't written tomorrow's episode.",Leela,"Well, you can't expect me to write it here, with everyone talking so loudly about how great I am."
Leela,"Well, you can't expect me to write it here, with everyone talking so loudly about how great I am.",Abner,Doubledeal: Sorry.
Abner,Doubledeal: Sorry.,Leela,I'm taking the ship to my quiet place so I can be alone. You non-creatives can catch a bus home.
Leela,I'm taking the ship to my quiet place so I can be alone. You non-creatives can catch a bus home.,Fry,Non-creative? Ha! I'll have you know I bedazzle my own underpants.
Fry,Non-creative? Ha! I'll have you know I bedazzle my own underpants.,Bender,"That was a helluva massage. Maybe the best there ever was. Say, where are we? Rumbledy-Hump?! It's real!"
Garbly,I don't like 'em. They're icky-yucky!,Lady,"Buggle: Now, now, Garbly. If we don't eat our vegetables, we won't grow big and strong... Like Feffernoose."
Lady,"Buggle: Now, now, Garbly. If we don't eat our vegetables, we won't grow big and strong... Like Feffernoose.",Leela,This will make a great episode. But talk slower. I can't type that fast.
Leela,This will make a great episode. But talk slower. I can't type that fast.,Bender,"Well, well, well. You didn't make up that TV show! You just wrote down what these space twerps said!"
Bender,"Well, well, well. You didn't make up that TV show! You just wrote down what these space twerps said!",Leela,"Oh, hell."
Leela,"Oh, hell.",Princess,Num Num: Leela said a Rumbledy-Hump no-no!
Princess,Num Num: Leela said a Rumbledy-Hump no-no!,We,say words that are bad.
We,say words that are bad.,Those,are the ninety-eight words we don't say.
Those,are the ninety-eight words we don't say.,Bender,"My God. You stole all your ideas from those poor, innocent creatures and hogged all the credit?! I underestimated you."
Bender,"My God. You stole all your ideas from those poor, innocent creatures and hogged all the credit?! I underestimated you.",Leela,Wait! I can explain.
Leela,Wait! I can explain.,Bender,"Nah, don't ruin it. I'm lovin' the hypocrisy. It's like catchin' an evangelist in a whorehouse. That was the best Christmas ever."
Bender,"Nah, don't ruin it. I'm lovin' the hypocrisy. It's like catchin' an evangelist in a whorehouse. That was the best Christmas ever.",Leela,"You know I hate lying. But those orphans were so proud of me, I couldn't bear to let them down."
Leela,"You know I hate lying. But those orphans were so proud of me, I couldn't bear to let them down.",Bender,Pfff! At least Reverend Pickens had the dignity to jump out the whorehouse window with his pants around his ankles.
Bender,Pfff! At least Reverend Pickens had the dignity to jump out the whorehouse window with his pants around his ankles.,Princess,"Num Num: Who's your friend, Leela? He sure has a shiny metal bumbledy-boop."
Princess,"Num Num: Who's your friend, Leela? He sure has a shiny metal bumbledy-boop.",Bender,"Aw, they're so cute and harmless. No wonder you feel safe rippin' off their act."
Bender,"Aw, they're so cute and harmless. No wonder you feel safe rippin' off their act.",Leela,Bender! I feel bad enough already.
Leela,Bender! I feel bad enough already.,Bender,"I'm just messin' with ya. I love that you're gettin' rich off of them. 'Cause, now, I can get rich off of you!"
Bender,"I'm just messin' with ya. I love that you're gettin' rich off of them. 'Cause, now, I can get rich off of you!",Leela,"Oh, Lord."
Leela,"Oh, Lord.",Bender,"From now on, you give me half the gross or I'll blow your cover."
Bender,"From now on, you give me half the gross or I'll blow your cover.",Leela,"Fine. You'll get your cut. I don't really care about the money, anyway. I just wanna show those poor, disadvantaged orphans that they can succeed in life."
Leela,"Fine. You'll get your cut. I don't really care about the money, anyway. I just wanna show those poor, disadvantaged orphans that they can succeed in life.",Bender,Ugh. You are the worst kind of rich person.
Bender,Ugh. You are the worst kind of rich person.,Leela,Be it parsnips or peppers or kale or zucchini.
Leela,Be it parsnips or peppers or kale or zucchini.,Fry,I like to relax with a spinach martini.
Fry,I like to relax with a spinach martini.,Bender,A-gurgle bufwoozle didoodi houdini.
Bender,A-gurgle bufwoozle didoodi houdini.,All,'Cause we love our vegetables.
All,'Cause we love our vegetables.,Abner,"Doubledeal: And... Cut! That's a wrap, everybody. Ten-minute break, then we shoot season three."
Abner,"Doubledeal: And... Cut! That's a wrap, everybody. Ten-minute break, then we shoot season three.",Fry,"Leela, you may have become a Lady Gaga-esque fame hag, but you sure cheered up those orphans. Nice job."
Fry,"Leela, you may have become a Lady Gaga-esque fame hag, but you sure cheered up those orphans. Nice job.",Warden,Vogel: Thanks so much for inviting us to the taping. The kids haven't been this excited since food day!
Warden,Vogel: Thanks so much for inviting us to the taping. The kids haven't been this excited since food day!,Leela,"Aw, thanks. They're my inspiration."
Leela,"Aw, thanks. They're my inspiration.",Bender,"But not your only inspiration. Am I right, Leels?"
Bender,"But not your only inspiration. Am I right, Leels?",Albert,Is somebody standing on me?
Albert,Is somebody standing on me?,Bender,I do love inconveniencing the underclass.
Bender,I do love inconveniencing the underclass.,Warden,"Vogel: Well, we'll be on our way. After we dig through your trash for aluminum. Okay, kids. Delta pattern. Go! Go! Go!"
Warden,"Vogel: Well, we'll be on our way. After we dig through your trash for aluminum. Okay, kids. Delta pattern. Go! Go! Go!",Sally,Miss Leela?
Sally,Miss Leela?,Leela,"Yes, Sally?"
Leela,"Yes, Sally?",Sally,"made up. That's Gum Drop, Sticky, Candy Corn, Sour Ball, and Jujube. They're brothers and sisters and they live in Butterscotch Hollow."
Sally,"made up. That's Gum Drop, Sticky, Candy Corn, Sour Ball, and Jujube. They're brothers and sisters and they live in Butterscotch Hollow.",Leela,"Sally, that's wonderful. You came up with that yourself? Out of thin air? How?"
Leela,"Sally, that's wonderful. You came up with that yourself? Out of thin air? How?",Sally,"You were an orphan and now you're the best writer ever, so I knew I could write too. Thank you for being my hero."
Sally,"You were an orphan and now you're the best writer ever, so I knew I could write too. Thank you for being my hero.",Leela,I can't do this any more.
Leela,I can't do this any more.,Professor,Farnsworth: I don't blame you. Having to wear a costume made from a hollowed-out walrus...
Professor,Farnsworth: I don't blame you. Having to wear a costume made from a hollowed-out walrus...,Leela,"Everyone, I have a confession. I, Turanga Leela, winner of a Young People's Choice Award, a Peabody Jr, and two Training Emmys, am not what I appear to be. There's something I need to show you."
Leela,"Everyone, I have a confession. I, Turanga Leela, winner of a Young People's Choice Award, a Peabody Jr, and two Training Emmys, am not what I appear to be. There's something I need to show you.",Bender,Uh-oh.
Bender,Uh-oh.,Leela,"Continuing my confession, this is the hardest thing I've ever done."
Leela,"Continuing my confession, this is the hardest thing I've ever done.",Sally,Harder than creating the bestest show in the world?
Sally,Harder than creating the bestest show in the world?,Leela,I didn't create anything. I stole it.
Leela,I didn't create anything. I stole it.,Bender,Stealin' is a form of creativity!
Bender,Stealin' is a form of creativity!,Leela,"No, it isn't. Guys! Come on out!"
Leela,"No, it isn't. Guys! Come on out!",Abner,Doubledeal: Holy moly again.
Abner,Doubledeal: Holy moly again.,Lady,"Buggle: Oh, hello, Leela. I was just telling my friends how they shouldn't eat food off the floor. Should we sing a song about it?"
Lady,"Buggle: Oh, hello, Leela. I was just telling my friends how they shouldn't eat food off the floor. Should we sing a song about it?",Fry,"Yes, please!"
Fry,"Yes, please!",Leela,"No need, Lady Buggle."
Leela,"No need, Lady Buggle.",Abner,"Doubledeal: Say, what's goin' on here?"
Abner,"Doubledeal: Say, what's goin' on here?",Leela,This planet is the real Rumbledy-Hump. And these creatures are the real Humplings. All I did was write down their adorably repetitious hijinks.
Leela,This planet is the real Rumbledy-Hump. And these creatures are the real Humplings. All I did was write down their adorably repetitious hijinks.,Sally,You lied? Like Doingg did when he stole Garbly's pet pinecone?
Leela,I should've told the truth right away. These simply prairie folk have a simple prairie-ish life here. And I was wrong to exploit it for profit.,Lady,Buggle: I'm as sad as an upside-down smile.
Lady,Buggle: I'm as sad as an upside-down smile.,Leela,You mean a frown?
Leela,You mean a frown?,Lady,Buggle: We didn't have a word for it... Until now.
Lady,Buggle: We didn't have a word for it... Until now.,Amy,To think I put on an unflattering cupcake costume for you!
Amy,To think I put on an unflattering cupcake costume for you!,Fry,To think I borrowed money from you!
Fry,To think I borrowed money from you!,Albert,I was gonna ask you to marry me.
Albert,I was gonna ask you to marry me.,Sally,"I guess, if you can't make up stories, I can't neither."
Sally,"I guess, if you can't make up stories, I can't neither.",Leela,I deserve this. And more. Keep it coming!
Leela,I deserve this. And more. Keep it coming!,Abner,Doubledeal know how to remedy this ethical lapse.
Abner,Doubledeal know how to remedy this ethical lapse.,Lady,Buggle: So if you don't want a tapeworm or intestinal bug...
Lady,Buggle: So if you don't want a tapeworm or intestinal bug...,Humplings,Don't eat pastrami that fell on the rug.
Humplings,Don't eat pastrami that fell on the rug.,Abner,Doubledeal: And... Cut! Ta-da! We got us a reality show! No writers. No actors. No problem.
Abner,Doubledeal: And... Cut! Ta-da! We got us a reality show! No writers. No actors. No problem.,Leela,"Doubledeal, this is disgraceful! You can't just rip off their real lives and put it on TV!"
Leela,"Doubledeal, this is disgraceful! You can't just rip off their real lives and put it on TV!",Abner,Doubledeal: Wha? Who said anything about rippin' them off?
Abner,Doubledeal: Wha? Who said anything about rippin' them off?,Leela,did!
Leela,did!,Abner,"Doubledeal: I'm payin' 'em. Gather 'round, gang. Here're your pay checks."
Abner,"Doubledeal: I'm payin' 'em. Gather 'round, gang. Here're your pay checks.",Garbly,I can finally afford my speech therapy!
Garbly,I can finally afford my speech therapy!,Feffernoose,And the health plan covers my generic Prozac!
Feffernoose,And the health plan covers my generic Prozac!,Lady,"Buggle times better. And it's all thanks to you, Leela."
Lady,"Buggle times better. And it's all thanks to you, Leela.",Leela,Don't thank me! I should be punished! I've corrupted you and taught the orphans a terrible lesson.
Leela,Don't thank me! I should be punished! I've corrupted you and taught the orphans a terrible lesson.,Warden,Vogel: What orphans?! The kids were all adopted!
Warden,Vogel: What orphans?! The kids were all adopted!,Leela,They were?! By who?!
Leela,They were?! By who?!,Abner,"Doubledeal: Come on, kids. Let's get this place cleaned up for the next episode. Albert, pick up that pastrami and put it back on the craft services table."
Abner,"Doubledeal: Come on, kids. Let's get this place cleaned up for the next episode. Albert, pick up that pastrami and put it back on the craft services table.",Albert,"You're the boss, Daddy."
Albert,"You're the boss, Daddy.",Leela,"Oh, God! What have I done?!"
Leela,"Oh, God! What have I done?!",Nina,You've given us a new father and a full-time job! Which is more than most kids have!
Nina,You've given us a new father and a full-time job! Which is more than most kids have!,Leela,But—
Leela,But—,Sally,"We love it here, Miss Leela. This is the funnest planet in the whole world!"
Sally,"We love it here, Miss Leela. This is the funnest planet in the whole world!",Leela,"Don't hug me! I've done a horrible thing! For God's sakes, somebody teach me a lesson!"
Leela,"Don't hug me! I've done a horrible thing! For God's sakes, somebody teach me a lesson!",Orphans,and Humplings: We love Leela!
Orphans,and Humplings: We love Leela!,Leela,No!
Leela,No!,Fry,"Run, Leela! They're bouncing right at us!"
Fry,"Run, Leela! They're bouncing right at us!",Bender,So... Anybody hungry?
Bender,So... Anybody hungry?,Fry,I could stuff myself.
Fry,I could stuff myself.,Leela,I'll use that free app that tells you what restaurants you're near.
Leela,I'll use that free app that tells you what restaurants you're near.,Fry,You mean the window?
Fry,You mean the window?,Leela,Yes.
Leela,Yes.,Lrrr,"I am Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8! I demand extra dipping sauce!"
Lrrr,"I am Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8! I demand extra dipping sauce!",Teenaged,Alien: How many?
Teenaged,Alien: How many?,Lrrr,Uh... Two.
Lrrr,Uh... Two.,Fishy,Joe: Welcome to Fishy Joe's. Today is Stroganoff Thursday. We are currently out of the following menu items.
Fishy,Joe: Welcome to Fishy Joe's. Today is Stroganoff Thursday. We are currently out of the following menu items.,Female,voice: Stroganoff.
Female,voice: Stroganoff.,Teenaged,Alien: May I take your order?
Teenaged,Alien: May I take your order?,Fry,I'll have the Stroganoff.
Fry,I'll have the Stroganoff.,Teenaged,Alien: Okay.
Teenaged,Alien: Okay.,Bender,"Yeah, uh, gimme the fried spaghetti dinner breakfast pocket for lunch an', uh, a big bucket o' mixed sodas."
Bender,"Yeah, uh, gimme the fried spaghetti dinner breakfast pocket for lunch an', uh, a big bucket o' mixed sodas.",Teenaged,Alien: One kids meal. Got it.
Teenaged,Alien: One kids meal. Got it.,Leela,Huh. Buggalo tots?
Leela,Huh. Buggalo tots?,Leela,What exactly are those made of?
Leela,What exactly are those made of?,Teenaged,Alien: You got a warrant?
Teenaged,Alien: You got a warrant?,Leela,I'll just have something from the lite menu. How about the gardener lover's salad?
Leela,I'll just have something from the lite menu. How about the gardener lover's salad?,Teenaged,Alien: What kinda cheese fillin' you want in that?
Teenaged,Alien: What kinda cheese fillin' you want in that?,Leela,Ugh! Just gimme the fruit cup!
Leela,Ugh! Just gimme the fruit cup!,Teenaged,Alien: Okey-doke. What kinda cheese fillin' you want in that?
Teenaged,Alien: Okey-doke. What kinda cheese fillin' you want in that?,Leela,it's got quotation marks around it.
Leela,it's got quotation marks around it.,Fry,Mmm. There's nothin' wrong with a little fast food once or twice a meal. Heart... Attack! I'm fine.
Fry,Mmm. There's nothin' wrong with a little fast food once or twice a meal. Heart... Attack! I'm fine.,Leela.,"From now on, we're not eating anything unless we know what it is an' where it's from. We're going to the local farmers market."
Leela.,"From now on, we're not eating anything unless we know what it is an' where it's from. We're going to the local farmers market.",Bender,"Aw, mom! Do we hafta?!"
Bender,"Aw, mom! Do we hafta?!",Leela,This is what I'm talkin' about! See all the dirt an' earwigs? That's the sign of healthy food.
Leela,This is what I'm talkin' about! See all the dirt an' earwigs? That's the sign of healthy food.,Hydroponic,farmer: You think that's healthy? Try this. I found it growin' at the bottom of my hamper.
Hydroponic,farmer: You think that's healthy? Try this. I found it growin' at the bottom of my hamper.,Leela,Mmm! So fresh an' musty!
Leela,Mmm! So fresh an' musty!,Bulb,It's what I do.
Bulb,It's what I do.,Thog,"Hello, tiny man. You want sample small-batch Amazonian maple syrup?"
Thog,"Hello, tiny man. You want sample small-batch Amazonian maple syrup?",Fry,Sure. That's the kinda sap I like.
Fry,Sure. That's the kinda sap I like.,Thog,like.
Thog,like.,Fry,I'm scaroused!
Fry,I'm scaroused!,Bender,"Zuban tobacco?! The richest, most obnoxious kind! Listen, pal. I'm lookin' for a versatile smoke. One that's equally good in a crowded elevator or an audience with the Pope."
Bender,"Zuban tobacco?! The richest, most obnoxious kind! Listen, pal. I'm lookin' for a versatile smoke. One that's equally good in a crowded elevator or an audience with the Pope.",Moustached,"Alien: Forget the Pope, my friend. Smoke one of these and God himself will ask to be seated far away from you."
Moustached,"Alien: Forget the Pope, my friend. Smoke one of these and God himself will ask to be seated far away from you.",Bender,Ooh!
Bender,Ooh!,Leela,Heirloom eggs?! That's so life-affirming! I'll bet you run your own hatchery. Just you and your wife... Matilda.
Leela,Heirloom eggs?! That's so life-affirming! I'll bet you run your own hatchery. Just you and your wife... Matilda.,Brown-haired,"man: No, ma'am. Matilda an' I gather them eggs in the forest. And Matilda's really more of a mongoose than a wife."
Brown-haired,"man: No, ma'am. Matilda an' I gather them eggs in the forest. And Matilda's really more of a mongoose than a wife.",Leela,You're a lucky man. But are they way more expensive than regular eggs?
Leela,You're a lucky man. But are they way more expensive than regular eggs?,Brown-haired,Man: Way more.
Brown-haired,Man: Way more.,Leela,Ooh! I'll take a dozen.
Leela,Ooh! I'll take a dozen.,Professor,Farnsworth: Wha?! You're not my breakfast friends! What are you doing here?!
Professor,Farnsworth: Wha?! You're not my breakfast friends! What are you doing here?!,Amy,"Leela blackmailed us all into eating healthy, organic food."
Amy,"Leela blackmailed us all into eating healthy, organic food.",Professor,Farnsworth: Blackmail? What does she have on you?
Professor,Farnsworth: Blackmail? What does she have on you?,Hermes,"As long as we eat 'er filthy scrambled eggs, you'll never find out."
Hermes,"As long as we eat 'er filthy scrambled eggs, you'll never find out.",Leela,filth.
Leela,filth.,Fry?,What does that mean?
Fry?,What does that mean?,Zoidberg,"It means it'll hatch into a tiny, little infant creature. Unless we cook it first. Hey, Leela! Hurry up with those scrambled infants!"
Zoidberg,"It means it'll hatch into a tiny, little infant creature. Unless we cook it first. Hey, Leela! Hurry up with those scrambled infants!",Fry,"What?! That's horrifying! Zoidberg, you're an in-Human monster."
Fry,"What?! That's horrifying! Zoidberg, you're an in-Human monster.",Zoidberg,What are you? My driver's license?
Zoidberg,What are you? My driver's license?,Fry,"Eating a sweet, innocent chick before it's even hatched?! Oh-ho-ho-ho, no, you won'tn't! I refuse to eat an unborn animal! I'm gonna keep this egg safe and warm and secure. Until it hatches out into the world. And then I'm gonna eat it!"
Fry,"Eating a sweet, innocent chick before it's even hatched?! Oh-ho-ho-ho, no, you won'tn't! I refuse to eat an unborn animal! I'm gonna keep this egg safe and warm and secure. Until it hatches out into the world. And then I'm gonna eat it!",Leela,Should we turn on the TV?
Leela,Should we turn on the TV?,Hermes,Nah.
Hermes,Nah.,Fry,"Bender, d'you mind? I'm roosting."
Fry,"Bender, d'you mind? I'm roosting.",Bender,without smokin' a cigar?
Bender,without smokin' a cigar?,Fry,Think of the unborn embryo!
Fry,Think of the unborn embryo!,Bender,That's what I'm gonna call the yacht. Stop pickin' me! Whoa!
Bender,That's what I'm gonna call the yacht. Stop pickin' me! Whoa!,Fry,"Hey! Leggo my egg-o, crab-o!"
Fry,"Hey! Leggo my egg-o, crab-o!",Hermes,"Stop it, Fry! That's sexual harassment!"
Hermes,"Stop it, Fry! That's sexual harassment!",Zoidberg,"Yeah, come down off your round, white pulpit! You're just gonna eat that thing, anyway!"
Zoidberg,"Yeah, come down off your round, white pulpit! You're just gonna eat that thing, anyway!",Fry,"I was, but you can't sit on something for a week without falling in love with it. Whoever's in here deserves a chance at life. A chance to blossom into a beautiful young man. Like I did as a baby. And so I make this solemn vow... To do everything I can to make sure this wonderful, innocent creature enters this world happy, healthy, an'— All yours, Zoidberg."
Fry,"I was, but you can't sit on something for a week without falling in love with it. Whoever's in here deserves a chance at life. A chance to blossom into a beautiful young man. Like I did as a baby. And so I make this solemn vow... To do everything I can to make sure this wonderful, innocent creature enters this world happy, healthy, an'— All yours, Zoidberg.",Bender,"Aw! Look at the cute, little— I was gonna go yachting in those feet!"
Bender,"Aw! Look at the cute, little— I was gonna go yachting in those feet!",Leela,"Relax, you babies. It's no different from stomping a puppy."
Leela,"Relax, you babies. It's no different from stomping a puppy.",Fry,Everyone stop! He's not gonna hurt you.
Fry,Everyone stop! He's not gonna hurt you.,Bender,I'm standin' in a pool of my own feet!
Bender,I'm standin' in a pool of my own feet!,Hermes,Bender's right! Kill it before someone names it!
Hermes,Bender's right! Kill it before someone names it!,Fry,No! Mr. Peppy just wants to be our friend.
Fry,No! Mr. Peppy just wants to be our friend.,Hermes,Oy!
Hermes,Oy!,Fry,"Look: I know 'e's ugly and kinda corrosive, but we can't murder someone just 'cause he's hideous an' annoying."
Fry,"Look: I know 'e's ugly and kinda corrosive, but we can't murder someone just 'cause he's hideous an' annoying.",Amy,That's what we said about Zoidberg and look what that got us.
Amy,That's what we said about Zoidberg and look what that got us.,Zoidberg,Amy has a point.
Zoidberg,Amy has a point.,Fry,Zoidberg. He's my friend.
Fry,Zoidberg. He's my friend.,Zoidberg,Aw!
Zoidberg,Aw!,Calculon,Where to... Adulterers?
Calculon,Where to... Adulterers?,Monique,Calculon?! Then it wasn't your body they found in the harbor after the bomb went off.
Monique,Calculon?! Then it wasn't your body they found in the harbor after the bomb went off.,Calculon,What bomb?
Calculon,What bomb?,Bender,Dumb jerk. Come on! Get the ball.
Bender,Dumb jerk. Come on! Get the ball.,Hermes,Sweet freak of Mozambique! That thing's colossal! It's gonna kill us all!
Hermes,Sweet freak of Mozambique! That thing's colossal! It's gonna kill us all!,Fry.,That seems like a fact worth knowing.
Fry.,That seems like a fact worth knowing.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Good, startling news, everyone!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Good, startling news, everyone!",Professor,Farnsworth: I found a description of the creature in this medieval monster manual. Just as I feared. Attack type J.
Professor,Farnsworth: I found a description of the creature in this medieval monster manual. Just as I feared. Attack type J.,Amy,No! No!
Amy,No! No!,Professor,"Farnsworth: Yes! It kills its prey by sucking out the skeleton, leaving nothing but a puddle of flesh."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Yes! It kills its prey by sucking out the skeleton, leaving nothing but a puddle of flesh.",Amy,Ew!
Amy,Ew!,Leela,Ugh!
Leela,Ugh!,Bender,Ew!
Bender,Ew!,Professor,Farnsworth!
Professor,Farnsworth!,Fry,That's ridiculous. Mr. Peppy doesn't eat bones. I raised 'im on a simple diet o' Brussels sprouts an' mixed soda.
Fry,That's ridiculous. Mr. Peppy doesn't eat bones. I raised 'im on a simple diet o' Brussels sprouts an' mixed soda.,Hermes,At least there's only one of 'em. The good news is they can't start breedin'.
Hermes,At least there's only one of 'em. The good news is they can't start breedin'.,Professor,"Farnsworth: The bad news, everyone, is the beast reproduces asexually. A single bone vampire, left alone with some quiet music and some bone-vampire porn, could produce dozens of deadly offspring."
Professor,"Farnsworth: The bad news, everyone, is the beast reproduces asexually. A single bone vampire, left alone with some quiet music and some bone-vampire porn, could produce dozens of deadly offspring.",Zoidberg,That lucky bastard. I say kill it!
Zoidberg,That lucky bastard. I say kill it!,Zoidberg,Kill 'em both!
Zoidberg,Kill 'em both!,Leela,Killing them seems like a hassle. Can't we just set it free to live with its own kind?
Leela,Killing them seems like a hassle. Can't we just set it free to live with its own kind?,Professor,"Farnsworth: Poor, ignorant Leela. The bone vampire is now extinct on its home planet."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Poor, ignorant Leela. The bone vampire is now extinct on its home planet.",Leela,That's perfect! We can reintroduce it to the wild and repopulate the species!
Leela,That's perfect! We can reintroduce it to the wild and repopulate the species!,Fry,Yeah! Let's do those Leela things.
Fry,Yeah! Let's do those Leela things.,Fry,"Well, buddy, how d'ya like your new home? See? He's happy already."
Fry,"Well, buddy, how d'ya like your new home? See? He's happy already.",Hermes,"That thing doesn't have emotions, Fry. Its brain is the size of a walnut."
Hermes,"That thing doesn't have emotions, Fry. Its brain is the size of a walnut.",Fry,"So are walnuts and they're delicious. I'll miss you, Mr. Peppy. But you'll be happier here. So... Go on. Go. Goodbye, Mr. Peppy. Come on, man. Don't do this. Go on now. I mean it. Don't make this any harder than it has to be. It's time to let go! Ow! Thanks, Leela. He just needed a little extra push."
Fry,"So are walnuts and they're delicious. I'll miss you, Mr. Peppy. But you'll be happier here. So... Go on. Go. Goodbye, Mr. Peppy. Come on, man. Don't do this. Go on now. I mean it. Don't make this any harder than it has to be. It's time to let go! Ow! Thanks, Leela. He just needed a little extra push.",Leela,"Come on, Fry. Let's go home an'—"
Leela,"Come on, Fry. Let's go home an'—",Bender,"Hold up! There's alcohol around here somewhere. My Tanqueray-dar is goin' crazy. Aha-ha! Thought you could get away from me, huh? You lose again, you stupid intoxicant!"
Bender,"Hold up! There's alcohol around here somewhere. My Tanqueray-dar is goin' crazy. Aha-ha! Thought you could get away from me, huh? You lose again, you stupid intoxicant!",Zoidberg,We're not from around here. Hello!
Zoidberg,We're not from around here. Hello!,Man,#1
Man,#1,Hermes,"Excuse me, but we're guests on your planet. Speak English!"
Hermes,"Excuse me, but we're guests on your planet. Speak English!",Man,"#2: Behave yourselves, gents. Off-worlders best be welcome here. Especially if we're trying to get the Olympics. May I buy you a drink? We don't get a lot of pretty faces around here."
Man,"#2: Behave yourselves, gents. Off-worlders best be welcome here. Especially if we're trying to get the Olympics. May I buy you a drink? We don't get a lot of pretty faces around here.",Leela,Uh... Sure. But I'm driving. I'll just have the smallest whisky you've got.
Leela,Uh... Sure. But I'm driving. I'll just have the smallest whisky you've got.,Man,#2: A small aquarium o' whisky for the busty lass!
Man,#2: A small aquarium o' whisky for the busty lass!,Leela,Thanks. I suppose I should know your name if I'm gonna be drinking ten gallons of alcohol with you.
Leela,Thanks. I suppose I should know your name if I'm gonna be drinking ten gallons of alcohol with you.,Man,#2 Major Angus McZongo. Esquire.
Man,#2 Major Angus McZongo. Esquire.,Leela,esquire. I'm Turanga Leela. My crew an' I are from Earth.
Leela,esquire. I'm Turanga Leela. My crew an' I are from Earth.,Angus,McZongo: So what brings you folks here to Doohan 6?
Angus,McZongo: So what brings you folks here to Doohan 6?,Amy,We just released an endangered animal back into the wild. A bone vampire!
Amy,We just released an endangered animal back into the wild. A bone vampire!,Hermes,No need to thank us. Your shocked stares of gratitude say it all.
Hermes,No need to thank us. Your shocked stares of gratitude say it all.,Angus,McZongo: Dear God. You brought back the bone vampire?! The damn things wreaked bloody havoc on our livestock for centuries!
Angus,McZongo: Dear God. You brought back the bone vampire?! The damn things wreaked bloody havoc on our livestock for centuries!,Woman,"Aye! Until McZongo 'ere shot 'em all into extinction, 'e did."
Woman,"Aye! Until McZongo 'ere shot 'em all into extinction, 'e did.",Man,"#3: Now we've got more livestock than we can slaughter. Oh, aye. 'Tis a Bonnie time to be an ignorant villager."
Man,"#3: Now we've got more livestock than we can slaughter. Oh, aye. 'Tis a Bonnie time to be an ignorant villager.",Man,#4: We kinna have no murderin' bone vampires back 'ere!
Man,#4: We kinna have no murderin' bone vampires back 'ere!,Man,#3: Kill it afore it puts a bun in its own oven and repopulates the bleedin' planet!
Man,#3: Kill it afore it puts a bun in its own oven and repopulates the bleedin' planet!,Fry,No!
Fry,No!,Angus,McZongo: Angus is right.
Angus,McZongo: Angus is right.,Hermes,were named Angus.
Hermes,were named Angus.,Man,#1: We're all named Angus!
Man,#1: We're all named Angus!,Fry,Please! Mr. Peppy won't attack your livestock. He's a vegetarian and 'e's not even preachy about it!
Fry,Please! Mr. Peppy won't attack your livestock. He's a vegetarian and 'e's not even preachy about it!,Angus,"McZongo: Poppycock. Once he gets the smell o' bones, there'll be no stoppin' 'im. Tonight, Mr. Peppy must die."
Angus,"McZongo: Poppycock. Once he gets the smell o' bones, there'll be no stoppin' 'im. Tonight, Mr. Peppy must die.",Leela,"Angus, wait. My strictly platonic friend is right. At least wait a few days before you decide to kill it."
Leela,"Angus, wait. My strictly platonic friend is right. At least wait a few days before you decide to kill it.",Angus,"McZongo: The last time I hesitated, a bone vampire snicked out me left shin."
Angus,"McZongo: The last time I hesitated, a bone vampire snicked out me left shin.",Leela,Please! Just a few days.
Leela,Please! Just a few days.,Angus,"McZongo: Well, 'twould give us a chance to get to know each other. The beast lives! For now."
Angus,"McZongo: Well, 'twould give us a chance to get to know each other. The beast lives! For now.",Leela,"Thank you, Angus."
Leela,"Thank you, Angus.",Men,You're welcome!
Men,You're welcome!,Fry,I don't trust that McZongo. Maybe I should go keep an eye on Mr. Peppy.
Fry,I don't trust that McZongo. Maybe I should go keep an eye on Mr. Peppy.,Fry,It's nice! But there's still somethin' I don't like about that guy. My dad always said you could tell a lot about a man by the rigidity of 'is shins.
Fry,It's nice! But there's still somethin' I don't like about that guy. My dad always said you could tell a lot about a man by the rigidity of 'is shins.,Zoidberg,What is?!
Zoidberg,What is?!,Man,"#1, Gryffindor, Slytherin an' Hufflepuff! It killed Little Angus!"
Man,"#1, Gryffindor, Slytherin an' Hufflepuff! It killed Little Angus!",Professor,Farnsworth accident.
Professor,Farnsworth accident.,Angus,"McZongo: Still think your Mr. Peppy is harmless, Fry?"
Angus,"McZongo: Still think your Mr. Peppy is harmless, Fry?",Fry,"He wouldn't do this in our sleep. He would not, could not to a sheep."
Fry,"He wouldn't do this in our sleep. He would not, could not to a sheep.",Angus,McZongo: The deal is off! The beast must die!
Angus,McZongo: The deal is off! The beast must die!,Bender,Ooh! Pimpy!
Bender,Ooh! Pimpy!,Fry,What are we supposed to do? Just sit here and wait for Mr. Peppy to be killed?
Fry,What are we supposed to do? Just sit here and wait for Mr. Peppy to be killed?,Leela,Okay! That's it! I need some air.
Leela,Okay! That's it! I need some air.,Leela,"Who's there? Hermes, is this one o' your zany practical jokes?"
Leela,"Who's there? Hermes, is this one o' your zany practical jokes?",Fry,"Leela, are you okay? Did you drink too many aquaria?"
Fry,"Leela, are you okay? Did you drink too many aquaria?",Hermes,Look! The bone vampire!
Hermes,Look! The bone vampire!,Leela,Mr. Peppy attacked me. Quick! Count my bones. There should be two-hundred-and-five!
Leela,Mr. Peppy attacked me. Quick! Count my bones. There should be two-hundred-and-five!,Leela,Okay. That's better. Keep 'em comin'!
Leela,Okay. That's better. Keep 'em comin'!,Professor,"Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but no vegetarian could've done this."
Professor,"Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but no vegetarian could've done this.",Fry,"I know. An', as much as I love Mr. Peppy, I love Leela more. He has to be... Put down."
Fry,"I know. An', as much as I love Mr. Peppy, I love Leela more. He has to be... Put down.",Amy,"Aw, don't feel bad. Major McZongo's an experienced hunter. He'll blow Mr. Peppy's head off as painlessly as possible."
Amy,"Aw, don't feel bad. Major McZongo's an experienced hunter. He'll blow Mr. Peppy's head off as painlessly as possible.",Fry,"No! Not McZongo! If anyone's gonna kill Mr. Peppy, it should be me."
Fry,"No! Not McZongo! If anyone's gonna kill Mr. Peppy, it should be me.",Zoidberg,"Fry, I know you're upset right now, but I hope you'll consider donating the body to science dinner."
Zoidberg,"Fry, I know you're upset right now, but I hope you'll consider donating the body to science dinner.",Fry,"Here, Mr. Peppy. Mmm. Lovely bones."
Fry,"Here, Mr. Peppy. Mmm. Lovely bones.",Hermes,We've been walkin' for hours. I hope we can find our way back.
Hermes,We've been walkin' for hours. I hope we can find our way back.,Amy,Don't worry. I left a trail of bread crumbs.
Amy,Don't worry. I left a trail of bread crumbs.,Bender,left a trail of cigars!
Bender,left a trail of cigars!,Leela,"You don't have to do this, Fry. Mr. Peppy just gave me a little love concussion."
Leela,"You don't have to do this, Fry. Mr. Peppy just gave me a little love concussion.",Fry,"Thanks, Leela, but I have no choice. I can't let my monstruous deboner get anywhere near you."
Fry,"Thanks, Leela, but I have no choice. I can't let my monstruous deboner get anywhere near you.",Hermes,There it is!
Hermes,There it is!,Fry,"Well, this is it. You guys wait here. This is gonna kill him more than it does me. Goodbye, boy. I'll think of you whenever I sit on something round."
Fry,"Well, this is it. You guys wait here. This is gonna kill him more than it does me. Goodbye, boy. I'll think of you whenever I sit on something round.",Amy,What's happening?! Did you kill it?!
Amy,What's happening?! Did you kill it?!,Mr.,Peppy: The bloody idiot bloody-shot me! I'm all bloody-bloody!
Mr.,Peppy: The bloody idiot bloody-shot me! I'm all bloody-bloody!,Bender,Wha?!
Bender,Wha?!,Fry,Mr. Peppy?! Bullets make you talk?!
Fry,Mr. Peppy?! Bullets make you talk?!,Bender,That's not Mr. Peppy!
Bender,That's not Mr. Peppy!,Amy-ed,us!
Amy-ed,us!,Leela,"Why, Major McZongo? Why?"
Leela,"Why, Major McZongo? Why?",Angus,"McZongo: Oh, it's been thirty years since last I killed a bone vampire. The villagers dinna idolise me like they used to."
Angus,"McZongo: Oh, it's been thirty years since last I killed a bone vampire. The villagers dinna idolise me like they used to.",Amy,You seem pretty popular at the pub.
Amy,You seem pretty popular at the pub.,Angus,McZongo: I work there as a greeter! Your beast was my chance to be a hero again. But the damn thing was a vegetarian! So I slaughtered the sheep meself.
Angus,McZongo: I work there as a greeter! Your beast was my chance to be a hero again. But the damn thing was a vegetarian! So I slaughtered the sheep meself.,Angus,"McZongo: So I could impress you by seeking revenge on the creature. Us greeters don't get a lot of action. On paper, it seemed like a win-win situation."
Angus,"McZongo: So I could impress you by seeking revenge on the creature. Us greeters don't get a lot of action. On paper, it seemed like a win-win situation.",Professor,"Farnsworth: Do you realise what this means, Fry?! Your pet's not dangerous after all!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Do you realise what this means, Fry?! Your pet's not dangerous after all!",Fry,Johnson.
Fry,Johnson.,Zoidberg!,Hey. What's that bone-sucking sound?
Zoidberg!,Hey. What's that bone-sucking sound?,Fry,It's Mr. Peppy! I'd know 'im anywhere.
Fry,It's Mr. Peppy! I'd know 'im anywhere.,Leela,the sheep killing.
Leela,the sheep killing.,Fry,"Why, Mr. Peppy? Why? Ooh. That tickles. Now I really do have to kill you."
Fry,"Why, Mr. Peppy? Why? Ooh. That tickles. Now I really do have to kill you.",Man,"#3: Wait! Don't shoot. The beast is a godsend. Like I said, we've more livestock than we can slaughter. But, thanks to this ravenous bogle, that's nae more a problem."
Man,"#3: Wait! Don't shoot. The beast is a godsend. Like I said, we've more livestock than we can slaughter. But, thanks to this ravenous bogle, that's nae more a problem.",Man,"#5: Angus is right. The cursed thing even debones 'em. Which is perfect for today's fast-paced, lazy consumer."
Man,"#5: Angus is right. The cursed thing even debones 'em. Which is perfect for today's fast-paced, lazy consumer.",Man,"#1: Dersu Uzala, Yojimbo, Rashomon! The beast must live!"
Man,"#1: Dersu Uzala, Yojimbo, Rashomon! The beast must live!",Leela,"You know what the best part is? From now on, whenever we're eating fresh, organic space meat, we'll know exactly where it comes from."
Leela,"You know what the best part is? From now on, whenever we're eating fresh, organic space meat, we'll know exactly where it comes from.",Fry,"One bucket o' double-friend, triple-salted, boneless sheep tots, please."
Fry,"One bucket o' double-friend, triple-salted, boneless sheep tots, please.",Teenaged,Alien: What kinda cheese fillin' you want in that?
Teenaged,Alien: What kinda cheese fillin' you want in that?,Fry,kinds.
Fry,kinds.,Leela,Eh... Make it two.
Leela,Eh... Make it two.,Leela,An' a small whisky. Large.
Leela,An' a small whisky. Large.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! Remember when you asked to see my family tree?"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! Remember when you asked to see my family tree?",Leela,No.
Leela,No.,Professor,"Farnsworth And, just recently, I learned of a modern-day Farnsworth, who invented the anti-senility truss."
Professor,"Farnsworth And, just recently, I learned of a modern-day Farnsworth, who invented the anti-senility truss.",Leela,"That's you, Professor."
Leela,"That's you, Professor.",Professor,"Farnsworth Ah, yes. The Farnsworths boast a proud and distinguished lineage. No wormy fruit on this tree."
Professor,"Farnsworth Ah, yes. The Farnsworths boast a proud and distinguished lineage. No wormy fruit on this tree.",Amy,Isn't he your distant uncle?
Amy,Isn't he your distant uncle?,Professor,Farnsworth over here on this filthy branch riddled with fungus and dung beetles.
Professor,Farnsworth over here on this filthy branch riddled with fungus and dung beetles.,Fry,What's with the seventeen dung beetles?
Fry,What's with the seventeen dung beetles?,Hermes,"I guess we'll have to deliver that Human heart tomorrow. Good work, people!"
Hermes,"I guess we'll have to deliver that Human heart tomorrow. Good work, people!",Bender,"Baby seals, here I come."
Bender,"Baby seals, here I come.",Fry,Guess I better head over to my night job.
Fry,Guess I better head over to my night job.,Leela,You have a night job?
Leela,You have a night job?,Fry,"Yup. It's exhausting, but I need the extra money to buy coffee so I can stay awake for my night job."
Fry,"Yup. It's exhausting, but I need the extra money to buy coffee so I can stay awake for my night job.",Leela,But—
Leela,But—,Fry,Gotta go!
Fry,Gotta go!,Fry,Woo!
Fry,Woo!,Dr.,"Cahill: You've got a surprising amount of algae in your beard, Mr. President. Just sit still and let the algae eater do its work."
Dr.,"Cahill: You've got a surprising amount of algae in your beard, Mr. President. Just sit still and let the algae eater do its work.",Abraham,Lincoln's head Ooh! Lay off my trademark mole.
Abraham,Lincoln's head Ooh! Lay off my trademark mole.,Dr.,"Cahill: Hi, Lars."
Dr.,"Cahill: Hi, Lars.",Fry,Fry.
Fry,Fry.,Dr.,Cahill parties. Or it'll be your ass in a jar!
Dr.,Cahill parties. Or it'll be your ass in a jar!,Fry,museum!
Fry,museum!,Bill,"Clinton's head: Man, this place is a snooze. Hey, Fry, I challenge President Taft 'ere to a pie-eatin' contest."
Bill,"Clinton's head: Man, this place is a snooze. Hey, Fry, I challenge President Taft 'ere to a pie-eatin' contest.",William,"Taft's head: You're on, skinny!"
William,"Taft's head: You're on, skinny!",Fry,"Sorry, guys. You know the rules. No fun allowed."
Fry,"Sorry, guys. You know the rules. No fun allowed.",Andrew,"Jackson's head: Come on, you pansy! I'm thirsty. I want me some Tennessee loopy juice!"
Andrew,"Jackson's head: Come on, you pansy! I'm thirsty. I want me some Tennessee loopy juice!",Warren,Harding's head: And I want loose women. The kind that aren't afraid to show a little ankle.
Warren,Harding's head: And I want loose women. The kind that aren't afraid to show a little ankle.,James,Madison's head: Or elbow.
James,Madison's head: Or elbow.,Fry,No visitors! I'll lose my job.
Fry,No visitors! I'll lose my job.,Rutherford,"B. Hayes' head: Oh, boo-hoo! I'll lose my minimum-wage job."
Rutherford,"B. Hayes' head: Oh, boo-hoo! I'll lose my minimum-wage job.",Fry,"You're mean, Rutherford B. Hayes!"
Fry,"You're mean, Rutherford B. Hayes!",Franklin,"D. Roosevelt's head: Listen here, young man! We have nothing to fear but running out of beer."
Franklin,"D. Roosevelt's head: Listen here, young man! We have nothing to fear but running out of beer.",Fry,Alright. One small get-together. But let's keep it quiet and dignified.
Fry,Alright. One small get-together. But let's keep it quiet and dignified.,Zoidberg,Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Zoidberg,Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!,Bender,"Woohoo! Yeah, alright!"
Bender,"Woohoo! Yeah, alright!",Scruffy,Four more beers! Four more beers!
Scruffy,Four more beers! Four more beers!,James,Madison's head: Nice elbow action.
James,Madison's head: Nice elbow action.,Hermes,So... You grow hemp?
Hermes,So... You grow hemp?,Thomas,Jefferson's head: Yes.
Thomas,Jefferson's head: Yes.,Hermes,And... You do what with it?
Hermes,And... You do what with it?,Thomas,"Jefferson's head: All manner of things. Manufacture paper, fabric, rope..."
Thomas,"Jefferson's head: All manner of things. Manufacture paper, fabric, rope...",Hermes,"Oh. Well, nice talking to you."
Hermes,"Oh. Well, nice talking to you.",Thomas,"Jefferson's head: Why, I used to smoke about four feet of rope a day."
Thomas,"Jefferson's head: Why, I used to smoke about four feet of rope a day.",Hermes,Let me give you my pager number.
Hermes,Let me give you my pager number.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Hey, Reagan. Remember when you asked to see my family tree?"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Hey, Reagan. Remember when you asked to see my family tree?",Ronald,Reagan's head: I asked you to leave me alone.
Ronald,Reagan's head: I asked you to leave me alone.,Professor,Farnsworth: The Farnsworths are a remarkable—
Professor,Farnsworth: The Farnsworths are a remarkable—,George,Washington's head That name is a stain on American history! One of the worst traitors of the Revolution was a Farnsworth!
George,Washington's head That name is a stain on American history! One of the worst traitors of the Revolution was a Farnsworth!,Professor,Farnsworth: You're lying!
Professor,Farnsworth: You're lying!,Leela,He's George Washington! He tends not to do that!
Leela,He's George Washington! He tends not to do that!,George,Washington's head He conspired to bring down our nation with his fraudulent currency.
George,Washington's head He conspired to bring down our nation with his fraudulent currency.,Professor,"Farnsworth Oh, dear! My good name is ruined!"
Professor,"Farnsworth Oh, dear! My good name is ruined!",Gerald,Ford's head: Hi! I'm Jerry. I like movies.
Gerald,Ford's head: Hi! I'm Jerry. I like movies.,Bender,He owes me a cheroot.
Bender,He owes me a cheroot.,Leela,"He's over there, pukin' in the Bushes."
Leela,"He's over there, pukin' in the Bushes.",George,H. W. Bush's head: No!
George,H. W. Bush's head: No!,Fry,"Oh, boy."
Fry,"Oh, boy.",Dr.,Cahill When they should be partying!
Dr.,Cahill When they should be partying!,"Amy,","Bender, and Hermes: Alright!"
"Amy,","Bender, and Hermes: Alright!",Zoidberg,"Hey, hey, LBJ. You wanna get drunk?"
Zoidberg,"Hey, hey, LBJ. You wanna get drunk?",Lyndon,Johnson's head Whoa!
Lyndon,Johnson's head Whoa!,Professor,Farnsworth The effects of jar juice aren't fully understood!
Professor,Farnsworth The effects of jar juice aren't fully understood!,Zoidberg,Uh... Not bad. A hint of vitalis and—
Zoidberg,Uh... Not bad. A hint of vitalis and—,Amy,I did a report on it for my drug-taking class.
Amy,I did a report on it for my drug-taking class.,Blond,man: Hi. I'm Andy Warhol and you're some kind of... Marvellous lobster man.
Blond,man: Hi. I'm Andy Warhol and you're some kind of... Marvellous lobster man.,Zoidberg,"Right on! Say, you got any real soup or just this schlock?"
Zoidberg,"Right on! Say, you got any real soup or just this schlock?",Andy,Warhol: What a horrid bore.
Andy,Warhol: What a horrid bore.,Professor,Farnsworth: Ooh.
Professor,Farnsworth: Ooh.,Amy,Wha?
Amy,Wha?,Zoidberg,Far out! That head gave me a total head trip!
Zoidberg,Far out! That head gave me a total head trip!,Fry,I'm gonna lick Herbert Hoover's head!
Fry,I'm gonna lick Herbert Hoover's head!,"Zoidberg,","Leela, Amy, Hermes, and several heads Lick the head!"
"Zoidberg,","Leela, Amy, Hermes, and several heads Lick the head!",Bender,"One prohibited beverage, please."
Bender,"One prohibited beverage, please.",Bartender,"Hey, Dutch. The new still is here."
Bartender,"Hey, Dutch. The new still is here.",Bender,I just smell like one!
Bender,I just smell like one!,Male,"voice: Dutch Schultz, come out with your bootleg whisky. We're thirsty!"
Male,"voice: Dutch Schultz, come out with your bootleg whisky. We're thirsty!",Hermes,"What the heck is goin' on?! Jefferson, did you sell me some bad rope?!"
Hermes,"What the heck is goin' on?! Jefferson, did you sell me some bad rope?!",Professor,"Farnsworth Dr. Cahill, do I detect a trace of opal essence?"
Professor,"Farnsworth Dr. Cahill, do I detect a trace of opal essence?",Dr.,"Cahill Yet it's so powerful, it should last a thousand years. It keeps the heads alive, but... We don't know how."
Dr.,"Cahill Yet it's so powerful, it should last a thousand years. It keeps the heads alive, but... We don't know how.",Amy,Why did it give us those hallucinations?
Amy,Why did it give us those hallucinations?,Professor,Farnsworth: Because it didn't!
Professor,Farnsworth: Because it didn't!,Amy,Uh... Yuh-huh!
Amy,Uh... Yuh-huh!,Professor,Farnsworth Look!
Professor,Farnsworth Look!,Zoidberg,Fuh! Schlock and more schlock!
Zoidberg,Fuh! Schlock and more schlock!,Dutch,Schultz: Pssst! Is the coast clear?
Dutch,Schultz: Pssst! Is the coast clear?,Bender,"Button your yap, you mug!"
Bender,"Button your yap, you mug!",Professor,Farnsworth!
Professor,Farnsworth!,George,Washington's head But even this discovery won't undo the treachery wrought by your nefarious ancestor David Farnsworth.
George,Washington's head But even this discovery won't undo the treachery wrought by your nefarious ancestor David Farnsworth.,Professor,Farnsworth: It will if we go back in time and stop him!
Professor,Farnsworth: It will if we go back in time and stop him!,Leela,You can't tongue the father of our country!
Leela,You can't tongue the father of our country!,Fry,"Where are we? Also, when are we?"
Fry,"Where are we? Also, when are we?",Professor,Farnsworth Rush hour.
Professor,Farnsworth Rush hour.,Professor,"Farnsworth: By my calculations, this head trip will last, at most, 24 hours. We need to stop that monster, David Farnsworth!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: By my calculations, this head trip will last, at most, 24 hours. We need to stop that monster, David Farnsworth!",Leela,"April 17th, 1775."
Leela,"April 17th, 1775.",Professor,Farnsworth can help us.
Professor,Farnsworth can help us.,Bender,But they could be meetin' anywhere!  What are we gonna do? Search building to building?
Bender,But they could be meetin' anywhere!  What are we gonna do? Search building to building?,Professor,Farnsworth We'll start with that one.
Professor,Farnsworth We'll start with that one.,Thomas,"Jefferson: Alexander Hamilton of New York, how say you?"
Thomas,"Jefferson: Alexander Hamilton of New York, how say you?",Alexander,Hamilton: Nay.
Alexander,Hamilton: Nay.,Thomas,Jefferson: John Hancock and John Adams of Massachusetts?
Thomas,Jefferson: John Hancock and John Adams of Massachusetts?,John,Adams: Yay.
John,Adams: Yay.,John,Hancock: Yay.
John,Hancock: Yay.,Thomas,Jefferson
Thomas,Jefferson,John,Adams.
John,Adams.,Bender,"Watch it, Wiggy! I ain't no stinking crock!"
Bender,"Watch it, Wiggy! I ain't no stinking crock!",John,Adams
John,Adams,John,"Hancock: Halt! From whence commeth thou, one-eyed maiden!"
John,"Hancock: Halt! From whence commeth thou, one-eyed maiden!",John,Hancock: Certainly not!
John,Hancock: Certainly not!,Leela,I'm from Peru.
Leela,I'm from Peru.,Professor,Farnsworth who forged this forgery!
Professor,Farnsworth who forged this forgery!,Thomas,"Jefferson My word! If these enter circulation, our economy will be destroyed! And with it, our chance at independence!"
Thomas,"Jefferson My word! If these enter circulation, our economy will be destroyed! And with it, our chance at independence!",Alexander,"Hamilton Only one man in the colonies has a printing press fine enough to make these. Our good friend, Ben Franklin."
Alexander,"Hamilton Only one man in the colonies has a printing press fine enough to make these. Our good friend, Ben Franklin.",Thomas,"Jefferson: When he's not in Charlotte, or Maribel, or Louisa!"
Thomas,"Jefferson: When he's not in Charlotte, or Maribel, or Louisa!",Fry,I don't get it.
Fry,I don't get it.,Professor,"Farnsworth: I'm sure no one's ever said this before, but I must get to Philadelphia as quickly as possible!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: I'm sure no one's ever said this before, but I must get to Philadelphia as quickly as possible!",Professor,Farnsworth era?!
Professor,Farnsworth era?!,Woman,"Dr. Franklin, your new steam engine is here."
Woman,"Dr. Franklin, your new steam engine is here.",Bender,Chicken's ready.
Bender,Chicken's ready.,Benjamin,"Franklin: You may go, Louisa."
Benjamin,"Franklin: You may go, Louisa.",Fry,I get it!
Fry,I get it!,Benjamin,Franklin: Fascinating. Be you man or machine?
Benjamin,Franklin: Fascinating. Be you man or machine?,Bender,Mostly machine. Might be a couple dead cats in there.
Bender,Mostly machine. Might be a couple dead cats in there.,Professor,Farnsworth this!
Professor,Farnsworth this!,Benjamin,Franklin But no! This is a fake!
Benjamin,Franklin But no! This is a fake!,Fry,Colony of Maffachufetts!
Fry,Colony of Maffachufetts!,Bender,More like Taxachufetts!
Bender,More like Taxachufetts!,Benjamin,"Franklin That's just how we print S's, you ƒtupid ƒhitheads! Someone must've used my press while I was poking around in Charlotte. Let's ask my apprentice, David Farnsworth."
Benjamin,"Franklin That's just how we print S's, you ƒtupid ƒhitheads! Someone must've used my press while I was poking around in Charlotte. Let's ask my apprentice, David Farnsworth.",Professor,Farnsworth Farnsworth?!! That's him! Arm yourselves!
Professor,Farnsworth Farnsworth?!! That's him! Arm yourselves!,Benjamin,Franklin: I call it the Franklinator.
Benjamin,Franklin: I call it the Franklinator.,Benjamin,Franklin: The apprentice's suite is empty! He's gone!
Benjamin,Franklin: The apprentice's suite is empty! He's gone!,Professor,Farnsworth: Wait! What's that glistening in the chamber pot?
Professor,Farnsworth: Wait! What's that glistening in the chamber pot?,Bender,Let's find out.
Bender,Let's find out.,Leela,"Bender, do you know what a chamber pot is?"
Leela,"Bender, do you know what a chamber pot is?",Bender,I don't know and I don't care!
Bender,I don't know and I don't care!,Professor,Farnsworth: A Massachusetts hapenny?
Professor,Farnsworth: A Massachusetts hapenny?,Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Fry,Bender bent a poo penny! Bender bent a poo penny!
Fry,Bender bent a poo penny! Bender bent a poo penny!,Benjamin,Franklin: Look! 'Tis but worthless tin!
Benjamin,Franklin: Look! 'Tis but worthless tin!,Professor,Farnsworth: Where could Farnsworth have minted such a high quality fake?
Professor,Farnsworth: Where could Farnsworth have minted such a high quality fake?,Benjamin,Franklin There's only like forty people who do anything around here.
Benjamin,Franklin There's only like forty people who do anything around here.,Professor,Farnsworth: But Boston's 300 miles away and Bender kicked our horse to death! We'll never get there in time! Unless you have another invention up your sleeve! Foh!
Professor,Farnsworth: But Boston's 300 miles away and Bender kicked our horse to death! We'll never get there in time! Unless you have another invention up your sleeve! Foh!,Benjamin,Franklin Hmmm...
Benjamin,Franklin Hmmm...,Bender,How's this going to get us to Boston?
Bender,How's this going to get us to Boston?,Paul,"Revere: Ah, that scrap metal I ordered is here."
Paul,"Revere: Ah, that scrap metal I ordered is here.",Paul,"Revere Whatta you looking at, you British bastards?!?!?!"
Paul,"Revere Whatta you looking at, you British bastards?!?!?!",Benjamin,"Franklin Paul, we talked about this."
Benjamin,"Franklin Paul, we talked about this.",Professor,Farnsworth these smelly hapennies. His name is David Farnsworth.
Professor,Farnsworth these smelly hapennies. His name is David Farnsworth.,Paul,Revere Farnsworth? I just hired him for the fall candlestick rush. He's in the foundry this very moment!
Paul,Revere Farnsworth? I just hired him for the fall candlestick rush. He's in the foundry this very moment!,Benjamin,Franklin Everybody take a Franklinator.
Benjamin,Franklin Everybody take a Franklinator.,Fry,"Aw, I gotta chipmunk."
Fry,"Aw, I gotta chipmunk.",Leela,Hee-ya!
Leela,Hee-ya!,Professor,"Farnsoworth: David Farnsworth, I presume?"
Professor,"Farnsoworth: David Farnsworth, I presume?",David,Farnsworth I'm David Farnsworth.
David,Farnsworth I'm David Farnsworth.,Professor,Farnsworth Fowvwuh!
Professor,Farnsworth Fowvwuh!,Fry,Look out! He's got a bezeling planisher!
Fry,Look out! He's got a bezeling planisher!,David,Farnsworth: 'At's right! 'Oo wonts ta be bezel'd?!
David,Farnsworth: 'At's right! 'Oo wonts ta be bezel'd?!,Bender,"You idiot, I'm not a cannon!"
Bender,"You idiot, I'm not a cannon!",Bender,a cannon.
Bender,a cannon.,Professor,Farnsworth Huzzah! I've saved the Farnsworth name!
Professor,Farnsworth Huzzah! I've saved the Farnsworth name!,Man,An urgent message for Mr. Revere!
Man,An urgent message for Mr. Revere!,Paul,Revere I must ride.
Paul,Revere I must ride.,Leela,He won't miss this.
Leela,He won't miss this.,Professor,Farnsworth: Let's burn these counterfeits and paddle the next swan boat the hell out of Boston.
Professor,Farnsworth: Let's burn these counterfeits and paddle the next swan boat the hell out of Boston.,Fry,Here you go.
Fry,Here you go.,Professor,"Farnsworth Say, where did you get that lantern?"
Professor,"Farnsworth Say, where did you get that lantern?",Fry,"They had two burning, so I figured they wouldn't miss one."
Fry,"They had two burning, so I figured they wouldn't miss one.",Paul,Revere By land! By land! Gotta treat this OCD. Gotta treat this OCD.
Paul,Revere By land! By land! Gotta treat this OCD. Gotta treat this OCD.,Professor,Farnsworth that second lantern!
Professor,Farnsworth that second lantern!,Leela,We better stop Paul Revere before—
Leela,We better stop Paul Revere before—,Leela,"I guess everything worked out jolly oll right, eh, guv'nor?"
Leela,"I guess everything worked out jolly oll right, eh, guv'nor?",Bender,"Wot's with th' fruity accent, ducky? Bollocks! Ah've got it, too!"
Bender,"Wot's with th' fruity accent, ducky? Bollocks! Ah've got it, too!",Fry,"Where's all th' Presidents' heads, then?"
Fry,"Where's all th' Presidents' heads, then?",Professor,Farnsworth Quite.
Professor,Farnsworth Quite.,Hermes,You nearly missed elevenses.
Hermes,You nearly missed elevenses.,Amy,Who's for tea and shmavories?
Amy,Who's for tea and shmavories?,Bender,Wot in bloody 'ell's goin' on aroun' 'ere ah says?
Bender,Wot in bloody 'ell's goin' on aroun' 'ere ah says?,Professor,Farnsworth: Indeed. Wot's become of the dear old USA?
Professor,Farnsworth: Indeed. Wot's become of the dear old USA?,Amy,Beg pardon?
Amy,Beg pardon?,Professor,Farnsworth: The Revolution? 1776 and wot all?
Professor,Farnsworth: The Revolution? 1776 and wot all?,Hermes,"Oh, the Colonial Desktop(?).  Well, there's nuthin' we Brits enjoy more dan a good document'ry. Turn on the televiser, Dr. Zoidsmythe."
Hermes,"Oh, the Colonial Desktop(?).  Well, there's nuthin' we Brits enjoy more dan a good document'ry. Turn on the televiser, Dr. Zoidsmythe.",Narrator,all thanks to a nutter known as Wrong Way Revere.
Narrator,all thanks to a nutter known as Wrong Way Revere.,Animated,"Revere: The British are coming, by land, by land! Heh heh heh heh!"
Animated,"Revere: The British are coming, by land, by land! Heh heh heh heh!",Narrator,"But we came by sea, we did. Surprised the Yanks at Lexington ending the Rebellion with narry a kipper scuffed."
Narrator,"But we came by sea, we did. Surprised the Yanks at Lexington ending the Rebellion with narry a kipper scuffed.",Amy,"Scuffed kippers, anyone?"
Amy,"Scuffed kippers, anyone?",Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, criminy!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, criminy!",Narrator,"In gratitude, King George named Farnsworth a duke and granted his family massive land holdings in the colonies."
Narrator,"In gratitude, King George named Farnsworth a duke and granted his family massive land holdings in the colonies.",Professor,Farnsworth: Blimey. I've never felt so ashamed to be a Farnsworth.
Professor,Farnsworth: Blimey. I've never felt so ashamed to be a Farnsworth.,Scruffy,Will m'lord be returning to his massive land holdings for luncheon?
Scruffy,Will m'lord be returning to his massive land holdings for luncheon?,Professor,Farnsworth: Huh-woh?
Professor,Farnsworth: Huh-woh?,Leela,I know we're ladies-in-waiting but what are we waiting for?
Leela,I know we're ladies-in-waiting but what are we waiting for?,Professor,Farnsworth know? Just shut up and wait!
Professor,Farnsworth know? Just shut up and wait!,Bender,bot me teeth still loo' like this?
Bender,bot me teeth still loo' like this?,Fry,Con't we just go back in time an' set things roight again?
Fry,Con't we just go back in time an' set things roight again?,Professor,Farnsworth: Don't want to. Rather nice living under the crown and so forth.
Professor,Farnsworth: Don't want to. Rather nice living under the crown and so forth.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Wot's more, couldn't go back even if we wonted to.  No more crystalline opal left in all the world, don't you know."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Wot's more, couldn't go back even if we wonted to.  No more crystalline opal left in all the world, don't you know.",Scruffy,"M'lord, the Queen is here for 'er, eh, weekly, irrrrr, visit."
Scruffy,"M'lord, the Queen is here for 'er, eh, weekly, irrrrr, visit.",Professor,Farnsworth: The Queen? Sounds most satisfactory. All of you out!
Professor,Farnsworth: The Queen? Sounds most satisfactory. All of you out!,Bender,is.
Bender,is.,Squire,"Presenting the Queen of England, America, and two parking spaces in Tokyo."
Squire,"Presenting the Queen of England, America, and two parking spaces in Tokyo.",Queen,Where's me consort at?
Queen,Where's me consort at?,Professor,Farnsworth C-C-Consort?
Professor,Farnsworth C-C-Consort?,Queen,"That's right, luv. Fer cent'ries, a Farnsworth gentleman 'as provided service to the Queen. Now close yer eyes an' think of England!"
Queen,"That's right, luv. Fer cent'ries, a Farnsworth gentleman 'as provided service to the Queen. Now close yer eyes an' think of England!",Professor,"Farnsworth: Ah say, what's that in your crown?"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Ah say, what's that in your crown?",Bender,Yes! Three rubbers on the hob!
Bender,Yes! Three rubbers on the hob!,Queen,Stop him! He crowned me in th' knickers an' nicked me crown!
Queen,Stop him! He crowned me in th' knickers an' nicked me crown!,Smitty,Freeze or we'll be forced to continue chasing you since we don't carry guns!
Smitty,Freeze or we'll be forced to continue chasing you since we don't carry guns!,URL,Indubitably.
URL,Indubitably.,Leela,We've got to go back in toime an' set things straight! 'Urry up an' lick Washin'ton's 'ead again!
Leela,We've got to go back in toime an' set things straight! 'Urry up an' lick Washin'ton's 'ead again!,Bender,We can't! There's no George Washington nor any other Presidents.
Bender,We can't! There's no George Washington nor any other Presidents.,Fry,from Revolutionary times.
Fry,from Revolutionary times.,Professor,Farnsworth: Farnsworth!
Professor,Farnsworth: Farnsworth!,David,Farsnworth's head! Don't rightly know which one.
David,Farsnworth's head! Don't rightly know which one.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Bender, fetch me that powdered opal!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Bender, fetch me that powdered opal!",Professor,Farnsworth: It's time to restore dignity to the Farnsworth name!
Professor,Farnsworth: It's time to restore dignity to the Farnsworth name!,Fry,lanterns in place.
Fry,lanterns in place.,Professor,Farnsworth hard.
Professor,Farnsworth hard.,Leela,Look! All the Presidents are back! Even John Tyler!
Leela,Look! All the Presidents are back! Even John Tyler!,John,Tyler's head: That's the first time anyone's spoken to me in twelve-hundred years.
John,Tyler's head: That's the first time anyone's spoken to me in twelve-hundred years.,Professor,Farnsworth And no one will ever know.
Professor,Farnsworth And no one will ever know.,Yancy,Fry Sr I want this ice-fishin' operation up and runnin' by oh-eight-hundred hours.
Yancy,Fry Sr I want this ice-fishin' operation up and runnin' by oh-eight-hundred hours.,Fry,"It's too cold, Dad. My teen region is freezing off."
Fry,"It's too cold, Dad. My teen region is freezing off.",Yancy,"Fry Sr To this day, I can't stand the taste of early hominid."
Yancy,"Fry Sr To this day, I can't stand the taste of early hominid.",Fry,Let's just get inside the shack.
Fry,Let's just get inside the shack.,Yancy,"Fry Sr: Hold, maggot!"
Yancy,"Fry Sr: Hold, maggot!",Fry,Ow!
Fry,Ow!,Yancy,"Fry Sr: Remember the code o' the ice! Thick an' blue, tried an' true. Thin an' crispy, way too risky."
Yancy,"Fry Sr: Remember the code o' the ice! Thick an' blue, tried an' true. Thin an' crispy, way too risky.",Fry,Help! I'm drowning!
Fry,Help! I'm drowning!,Yancy,Fry Sr You'll freeze before you drown.
Yancy,Fry Sr You'll freeze before you drown.,Fry,I love ice fishing.
Fry,I love ice fishing.,Professor,"Farnsworth: I shouldn't be out in this cold. I 'ave no protective fat, hair, or warm blood. I'm not even legally a mammal."
Professor,"Farnsworth: I shouldn't be out in this cold. I 'ave no protective fat, hair, or warm blood. I'm not even legally a mammal.",Fry,I was frozen for a thousand years.
Fry,I was frozen for a thousand years.,Bender,Learn somethin' dumb every day.
Bender,Learn somethin' dumb every day.,Paper-hatted,salesman: Live bait!
Paper-hatted,salesman: Live bait!,Paper-hatted,salesman Fresh-killed bait!
Paper-hatted,salesman Fresh-killed bait!,Amy,I'm wearing a belly parka!
Amy,I'm wearing a belly parka!,Leela,"If I understand ice fishing, and I'm pretty sure I don't, we'll need to laser-blast a hole in the ice."
Leela,"If I understand ice fishing, and I'm pretty sure I don't, we'll need to laser-blast a hole in the ice.",Fry,"Here. Bender, use your immense Robot strength to drill a hole the old-fashioned way."
Fry,"Here. Bender, use your immense Robot strength to drill a hole the old-fashioned way.",Bender,I don't see any irony in that.
Bender,I don't see any irony in that.,Fry,And... Woilà !
Fry,And... Woilà !,Fry,How come nobody's ice-fishing?
Fry,How come nobody's ice-fishing?,Bender,Hot-cocoa break.
Bender,Hot-cocoa break.,Fry,"If you're sober, it isn't ice fishing."
Fry,"If you're sober, it isn't ice fishing.",Fry,"Mom, what's my temperature?"
Fry,"Mom, what's my temperature?",Mrs.,Fry Down at the 35!
Mrs.,Fry Down at the 35!,Fry,I'm really sick.
Fry,I'm really sick.,Mrs.,Fry Hundred-an'-nine. We'll check again at half-time.
Mrs.,Fry Hundred-an'-nine. We'll check again at half-time.,Yancy,"Fry Sr: You home from school, you traitor?"
Yancy,"Fry Sr: You home from school, you traitor?",Fry,Cut me some slack!
Fry,Cut me some slack!,Yancy,Fry Sr Lotta people depend on you when you sell trampolines door to door.
Yancy,Fry Sr Lotta people depend on you when you sell trampolines door to door.,Yancy,"Fry Jr: Here's your homework, ya lucky knob."
Yancy,"Fry Jr: Here's your homework, ya lucky knob.",Fry,"And, with a little more luck from my seven-leaf clover, I might get sick enough to miss the whole semester."
Fry,"And, with a little more luck from my seven-leaf clover, I might get sick enough to miss the whole semester.",Yancy,"Fry Jr: Hey, give me that!"
Yancy,"Fry Jr: Hey, give me that!",Fry,Ooh.
Fry,Ooh.,Yancy,Fry Jr: Come on.
Yancy,Fry Jr: Come on.,Fry,No.
Fry,No.,Yancy,"Fry Jr: Give it to me, ya faker!"
Yancy,"Fry Jr: Give it to me, ya faker!",Fry,Ow! My underbite!
Fry,Ow! My underbite!,Yancy,Fry Sr You'll never have a better chance to take 'im out.
Yancy,Fry Sr You'll never have a better chance to take 'im out.,Fry,What's this?
Fry,What's this?,Yancy,Fry Jr NASA's gonna pick one kid's experiment to launch into space.
Yancy,Fry Jr NASA's gonna pick one kid's experiment to launch into space.,Fry,I just got a new thing o' glitter!
Fry,I just got a new thing o' glitter!,Yancy,"Fry Sr: I'm not sure science is your thing, seein' how that chimp at the zoo tricked you outta your allowance."
Yancy,"Fry Sr: I'm not sure science is your thing, seein' how that chimp at the zoo tricked you outta your allowance.",Fry,Where's that contest flyer?
Fry,Where's that contest flyer?,Yancy,"Fry Sr: You're holdin' it, genius."
Yancy,"Fry Sr: You're holdin' it, genius.",Fry,"Oh, good."
Fry,"Oh, good.",Fry,I feel awful. But it was worth it to catch an' kill this baby fish.
Fry,I feel awful. But it was worth it to catch an' kill this baby fish.,Amy,What's with the shmiffling?
Amy,What's with the shmiffling?,Fry,Just a common cold.
Fry,Just a common cold.,Zoidberg,Wha?
Zoidberg,Wha?,Bender,It's a common uh?
Bender,It's a common uh?,Hermes,Wha?
Hermes,Wha?,Leela,What the hell's a common cold?
Leela,What the hell's a common cold?,Bender,Unconscious?
Bender,Unconscious?,Professor,"Farnsworth Ever since Fry first came to us, I've lived in mortal terror that this would happen!"
Professor,"Farnsworth Ever since Fry first came to us, I've lived in mortal terror that this would happen!",Leela,I never heard you mention that.
Leela,I never heard you mention that.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, I try to act cool, but inside I'm freaking out!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, I try to act cool, but inside I'm freaking out!",Fry,What's the big deal?
Fry,What's the big deal?,Smitty,I mean... Stay in with your hands up!
Smitty,I mean... Stay in with your hands up!,URL,You are hereby quarantined until such time as it is deemed safe to enter and shoot your asses.
URL,You are hereby quarantined until such time as it is deemed safe to enter and shoot your asses.,Professor,"Farnsworth Hermes, you'll take the first six hours."
Professor,"Farnsworth Hermes, you'll take the first six hours.",Hermes,Very well.
Hermes,Very well.,Professor,Farnsworth Crybaby.
Professor,Farnsworth Crybaby.,Fry,"It'll be gone as fast as I can sneeze, hurl, and squirt it out."
Fry,"It'll be gone as fast as I can sneeze, hurl, and squirt it out.",Professor,Farnsworth Frozen for a thousand years.
Professor,Farnsworth Frozen for a thousand years.,Fry,So it was hiding deep down inside o' me? Like my skeleton bones?
Fry,So it was hiding deep down inside o' me? Like my skeleton bones?,Leela,"Give it to us straight, Professor. How incredibly deadly is it?"
Leela,"Give it to us straight, Professor. How incredibly deadly is it?",Professor,Farnsworth It could kill millions or nobody. I suppose it might even bring a few people back to life! Anything is possible in science.
Professor,Farnsworth It could kill millions or nobody. I suppose it might even bring a few people back to life! Anything is possible in science.,Amy,My nose is all gunked up with blork!
Amy,My nose is all gunked up with blork!,Hermes,And I've got a hankerin' for a useless remedy created by a schoolteacher.
Hermes,And I've got a hankerin' for a useless remedy created by a schoolteacher.,Zoidberg,Uh-oh. I think I'm getting swollen glands.
Zoidberg,Uh-oh. I think I'm getting swollen glands.,Amy,Ew!
Amy,Ew!,Hermes,Oh!
Hermes,Oh!,Professor,Farnsworth: Oh!
Professor,Farnsworth: Oh!,Leela,Screw the quarantine! I'm outta here!
Leela,Screw the quarantine! I'm outta here!,Female,CDC scientist: Initiate containment procedure.
Female,CDC scientist: Initiate containment procedure.,Leela,Oh!
Leela,Oh!,Male,CDC scientist: G'wan now.
Male,CDC scientist: G'wan now.,Professor,"Farnsworth I shudder to think what this cold will do to me. Yesterday, I was nearly killed by a tight hat!"
Professor,"Farnsworth I shudder to think what this cold will do to me. Yesterday, I was nearly killed by a tight hat!",Bender,I'd be remiss if I didn't rub your goopy noses in the fact that I'm immune.
Bender,I'd be remiss if I didn't rub your goopy noses in the fact that I'm immune.,Professor,Farnsworth: Which is why we'll all be counting on you and you alone to nurse us through this catastrophe.
Professor,Farnsworth: Which is why we'll all be counting on you and you alone to nurse us through this catastrophe.,Bender,Why 'ave I been singled out?
Bender,Why 'ave I been singled out?,Fry,Everyone just calm down and make yourself a tissue walrus.
Fry,Everyone just calm down and make yourself a tissue walrus.,Yancy,Fry Sr Lose the tissues. You're ruinin' Thanksgivin' dinner.
Yancy,Fry Sr Lose the tissues. You're ruinin' Thanksgivin' dinner.,Fry,I'm busy with my space experiment. I can't devote precious brainpower to blowing my nose.
Fry,I'm busy with my space experiment. I can't devote precious brainpower to blowing my nose.,Yancy,Fry Sr Someone with your limited brainpower'd be lucky to get a job as a pizza delivery boy.
Yancy,Fry Sr Someone with your limited brainpower'd be lucky to get a job as a pizza delivery boy.,Mr.,Panucci Come on!
Mr.,Panucci Come on!,Barack,"Obama: Man, I've got to go back to law school."
Barack,"Obama: Man, I've got to go back to law school.",Fry,I'm not gonna wind up a loser like that guy.
Fry,I'm not gonna wind up a loser like that guy.,Yancy,"Fry Jr Josh Gedgie, boy scientist."
Yancy,"Fry Jr Josh Gedgie, boy scientist.",Josh,"Gedgie: Pi over four radians of pizza, please."
Josh,"Gedgie: Pi over four radians of pizza, please.",Mr.,Panucci: What is that? About a slice?
Mr.,Panucci: What is that? About a slice?,Josh,Gedgie: More like exactly a slice.
Josh,Gedgie: More like exactly a slice.,Fry,"Game on, Gedgie."
Fry,"Game on, Gedgie.",Yancy,Fry Jr: Ew!
Yancy,Fry Jr: Ew!,Yancy,"Fry Sr: I've 'ad worse. When I was shot down over Korea, I had to eat Kimchi. He was our interpreter."
Yancy,"Fry Sr: I've 'ad worse. When I was shot down over Korea, I had to eat Kimchi. He was our interpreter.",Bender,Coming!
Bender,Coming!,Bender,What now?
Bender,What now?,Amy,Humidifier.
Amy,Humidifier.,Bender,Yes?!
Bender,Yes?!,Leela,Where's that chicken soup we asked for?
Leela,Where's that chicken soup we asked for?,Bender,You take it from there.
Bender,You take it from there.,Hermes,Amy's horrible sweating!
Hermes,Amy's horrible sweating!,Bender,See you in the obituaries!
Bender,See you in the obituaries!,Male,CDC scientist... Uh... Containment holdin' up?
Male,CDC scientist... Uh... Containment holdin' up?,Female,"CDC scientist: Without turning my head, I'd say one-hundred percent."
Female,"CDC scientist: Without turning my head, I'd say one-hundred percent.",Bender,An' especially you.
Bender,An' especially you.,Fifth,CDC officer: That Robot was a heckuva nice feller.
Fifth,CDC officer: That Robot was a heckuva nice feller.,Fry,Mrs. Jenkins dissects anything smaller than a fifth grader.
Fry,Mrs. Jenkins dissects anything smaller than a fifth grader.,Josh,"Gedgie: Well, if it isn't Grandmaster Phlegm. I heard you're enterin' the NASA science competition."
Josh,"Gedgie: Well, if it isn't Grandmaster Phlegm. I heard you're enterin' the NASA science competition.",Fry,Maybe I am... LL Fool J!
Fry,Maybe I am... LL Fool J!,Josh,Gedgie: So what's your project? The effects of losing on idiots?
Josh,Gedgie: So what's your project? The effects of losing on idiots?,Fry,No! I'm gonna infect my guinea pig with the common cold and launch it into space to see if it gets cured by cosmic rays!
Fry,No! I'm gonna infect my guinea pig with the common cold and launch it into space to see if it gets cured by cosmic rays!,Josh,Gedgie I think I'll steal that an' do an experiment that's slightly less... Very stupid!
Josh,Gedgie I think I'll steal that an' do an experiment that's slightly less... Very stupid!,Fry,"idea! You are an evil, evil nerd!"
Fry,"idea! You are an evil, evil nerd!",Josh,Gedgie: Gedgie out!
Josh,Gedgie: Gedgie out!,Fry,We'll show him who's stupid.
Fry,We'll show him who's stupid.,Morbo,Linda?
Morbo,Linda?,Linda,All citizens are advised to wash their hands thoroughly after beating up Philip J. Fry.
Linda,All citizens are advised to wash their hands thoroughly after beating up Philip J. Fry.,Fry,Lucky I'm safely locked up here with you guys.
Fry,Lucky I'm safely locked up here with you guys.,Amy,There 'e is!
Amy,There 'e is!,Hermes,Get him!
Hermes,Get him!,Fry,Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! What are you—
Fry,Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! What are you—,Morbo,The situation is expected to deteriorate as newscasters whip the city into a panic.
Morbo,The situation is expected to deteriorate as newscasters whip the city into a panic.,Morbo,Run! Run for your lives!
Morbo,Run! Run for your lives!,Linda,"And, finally, the heart-warming story of a handicapped magician who didn't know when to give up."
Linda,"And, finally, the heart-warming story of a handicapped magician who didn't know when to give up.",Zapp,Shall I switch it off?
Zapp,Shall I switch it off?,Richard,"Nixon's head Rose Mary, release the Surgeon General!"
Richard,"Nixon's head Rose Mary, release the Surgeon General!",Woman,Get in there!
Woman,Get in there!,Wernstrom,It's bright out here.
Wernstrom,It's bright out here.,Richard,Nixon's head.
Richard,Nixon's head.,Wernstrom,"And, in thirty-six hours, it will have infected the entire planet!"
Wernstrom,"And, in thirty-six hours, it will have infected the entire planet!",Richard,Nixon's head: Options?
Richard,Nixon's head: Options?,Zapp,Protocol sixty-two.
Zapp,Protocol sixty-two.,Richard,Nixon's head: Not possible. We don't 'ave nearly enough piranhas!
Richard,Nixon's head: Not possible. We don't 'ave nearly enough piranhas!,Zapp,Then protocol sixty-three it is.
Zapp,Then protocol sixty-three it is.,Hermes,They're letting us out!
Hermes,They're letting us out!,Zoidberg,And hundreds of black hovercopters are coming to welcome us!
Zoidberg,And hundreds of black hovercopters are coming to welcome us!,Hermes,worse!
Hermes,worse!,Zoidberg,They must've been outta piranhas.
Zoidberg,They must've been outta piranhas.,Hermes,They're gonna kill the virus by exposing it to the heat of our burning bodies!
Hermes,They're gonna kill the virus by exposing it to the heat of our burning bodies!,Professor,Farnsworth: I'm just glad I have my wool scarf.
Professor,Farnsworth: I'm just glad I have my wool scarf.,Fry,What good is a wool—
Fry,What good is a wool—,Bender,Guys! Guys! You're never gonna believe this!
Bender,Guys! Guys! You're never gonna believe this!,Amy,We know! They shmooped up Manhattan and blasted us toward the Sun!
Amy,We know! They shmooped up Manhattan and blasted us toward the Sun!,Bender,So that's why this was unguarded.
Bender,So that's why this was unguarded.,Wernstrom,"People of New New York, this is Surgeon General Ogden Vernstrom."
Wernstrom,"People of New New York, this is Surgeon General Ogden Vernstrom.",Professor,Farnsworth: Wern--strom!
Professor,Farnsworth: Wern--strom!,Wernstrom,"No doctor likes hurling his patients into the Sun, but, since there is no way to make a vaccine for the common cold—"
Wernstrom,"No doctor likes hurling his patients into the Sun, but, since there is no way to make a vaccine for the common cold—",Professor,Farnsworth a way to make a vaccine!
Professor,Farnsworth a way to make a vaccine!,Fry,Yay!
Fry,Yay!,Professor,"Farnsworth: Of course, there's a catch."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Of course, there's a catch.",Fry,Woo!
Fry,Woo!,Fry,So what's the catch?
Fry,So what's the catch?,Professor,"Farnsworth: The vaccine requires the original, unmutated, 20th-century cold virus. So I need to grind you into a paste."
Professor,"Farnsworth: The vaccine requires the original, unmutated, 20th-century cold virus. So I need to grind you into a paste.",Leela,"Professor, no!"
Leela,"Professor, no!",Fry,"It's okay, Leela. This is all my fault, sort of. If this will save you, then, please, turn me into a virus milkshake."
Fry,"It's okay, Leela. This is all my fault, sort of. If this will save you, then, please, turn me into a virus milkshake.",Professor,Farnsworth You all heard it!
Professor,Farnsworth You all heard it!,Yancy,Fry Sr so-called entry.
Yancy,Fry Sr so-called entry.,Fry,"Walk much, Gedgie?!"
Fry,"Walk much, Gedgie?!",Josh,Gedgie: Absurd. You really think your guinea pig could survive in the vacuum of space?
Josh,Gedgie: Absurd. You really think your guinea pig could survive in the vacuum of space?,Fry,"I mean, My mom's vacuum."
Fry,"I mean, My mom's vacuum.",Josh,Gedgie Impressed?
Josh,Gedgie Impressed?,Yancy,"Fry Sr Nice job, son."
Yancy,"Fry Sr Nice job, son.",Fry,I know where you can get some 20th-century cold virus without killing me!
Fry,I know where you can get some 20th-century cold virus without killing me!,Professor,Farnsworth I'm totally in the zone.
Professor,Farnsworth I'm totally in the zone.,Fry,We just 'ave to find the Nerd Search '88 satellite!
Fry,We just 'ave to find the Nerd Search '88 satellite!,Professor,Farnsworth: I don't know why I even build these things.
Professor,Farnsworth: I don't know why I even build these things.,Leela,"Gunnery Chief Bender, blast us out of quarantine."
Leela,"Gunnery Chief Bender, blast us out of quarantine.",Bender,"Aye, aye, lady."
Bender,"Aye, aye, lady.",Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, fiddlepoop! Our weapons aren't strong enough to puncture a thin plastic tent that thick?!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, fiddlepoop! Our weapons aren't strong enough to puncture a thin plastic tent that thick?!",Leela,No. But theirs are!
Leela,No. But theirs are!,Kif,"Captain, a ship is attempting to break the quarantine."
Kif,"Captain, a ship is attempting to break the quarantine.",Zapp,Blow them to baco bits with a well placed warning shot!
Zapp,Blow them to baco bits with a well placed warning shot!,Kif,But—
Kif,But—,Zapp,Oops.
Zapp,Oops.,Fry,The Nerd Search satellite was launched on the space shuttle and released into orbit.
Fry,The Nerd Search satellite was launched on the space shuttle and released into orbit.,Leela,I'm Facebooking right now.
Leela,I'm Facebooking right now.,Professor,"Farnsworth That satellite was scuttled on Enceladus, Saturn's main dump moon!"
Professor,"Farnsworth That satellite was scuttled on Enceladus, Saturn's main dump moon!",Fry,Let's dump it up!
Fry,Let's dump it up!,Leela,But there's nothing here.
Leela,But there's nothing here.,Bender,Can we please go home an' die now?
Bender,Can we please go home an' die now?,Professor,Farnsworth Whatever was here's been covered by centuries of ice buildup.
Professor,Farnsworth Whatever was here's been covered by centuries of ice buildup.,Fry,"Remember the code of the ice. Thin an' crispy, way too risky."
Fry,"Remember the code of the ice. Thin an' crispy, way too risky.",Leela,I found a satellite!
Leela,I found a satellite!,Fry,Yes! We're saved!
Fry,Yes! We're saved!,Man,do anything... Dr. Buzz Aldrin!
Man,do anything... Dr. Buzz Aldrin!,Buzz,Aldrin Vijay Patel and his calculator space hat!
Buzz,Aldrin Vijay Patel and his calculator space hat!,Vijai,Patel Woo!
Vijai,Patel Woo!,Buzz,Aldrin: And now the grand-prize winner whose experiment will be launched into space.
Buzz,Aldrin: And now the grand-prize winner whose experiment will be launched into space.,Yancy,Fry Sr My money's on Gedgie.
Yancy,Fry Sr My money's on Gedgie.,Fry,"Yeah? He may 'ave brains, but I 'ave heart."
Fry,"Yeah? He may 'ave brains, but I 'ave heart.",Buzz,Aldrin: Josh Gedgie!
Buzz,Aldrin: Josh Gedgie!,Yancy,Fry Sr: I'll bring the car around.
Yancy,Fry Sr: I'll bring the car around.,Professor,Farnsworth This will make a fine vaccine.
Professor,Farnsworth This will make a fine vaccine.,Fry,"Good thing Gedgie won. My dumb experiment wouldn't've lasted an hour in space, let alone a thousand years. Besides, Buzz Aldrin ran over my guinea pig in the parking lot."
Fry,"Good thing Gedgie won. My dumb experiment wouldn't've lasted an hour in space, let alone a thousand years. Besides, Buzz Aldrin ran over my guinea pig in the parking lot.",Professor,"Farnsworth: Eh, okay. Uh, come on, gang. Let's go inoculate everyone and cram Manhattan back into its rightful hole!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Eh, okay. Uh, come on, gang. Let's go inoculate everyone and cram Manhattan back into its rightful hole!",Professor,Farnsworth: This may hurt a little.
Professor,Farnsworth: This may hurt a little.,Wernstrom,Ow!
Wernstrom,Ow!,Professor,"Farnsworth: Now, I'll give you the shot."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Now, I'll give you the shot.",Leela,"You saved millions of lives, Fry. You should feel proud. No matter what your dad said to you."
Leela,"You saved millions of lives, Fry. You should feel proud. No matter what your dad said to you.",Yancy,"Fry Sr: You still 'aven't thanked me for pullin' you outta the lake, soldier."
Yancy,"Fry Sr: You still 'aven't thanked me for pullin' you outta the lake, soldier.",Fry,I could've flip-flopped out.
Fry,I could've flip-flopped out.,Yancy,"Fry Sr I love you, son."
Yancy,"Fry Sr I love you, son.",Yancy,Fry Sr I don't want you gettin' frozen.
Yancy,Fry Sr I don't want you gettin' frozen.,Fry,Bucket of hot dogs?
Fry,Bucket of hot dogs?,Cubert,Check.
Cubert,Check.,Fry,Butt massager engaged?
Fry,Butt massager engaged?,Bender,Check.
Bender,Check.,Fry,Then let the video games begin! Wait. Hang on. I— I lost my controller.
Fry,Then let the video games begin! Wait. Hang on. I— I lost my controller.,Cubert,no controller. The X-Cube tracks your motions with a built-in camera.
Cubert,no controller. The X-Cube tracks your motions with a built-in camera.,Bender,motion.
Bender,motion.,Cubert,Frykowski. BenderIsGreat34. Follow me!
Cubert,Frykowski. BenderIsGreat34. Follow me!,Bender,Sounds like fun on the bun.
Bender,Sounds like fun on the bun.,Cubert,Aw! You guys again?!
Cubert,Aw! You guys again?!,German,#1! These dorkeschoens. Let's humiliate them with slingshots.
German,#1! These dorkeschoens. Let's humiliate them with slingshots.,Fry,"Shoot your weapon, Private!"
Fry,"Shoot your weapon, Private!",Bender,Wait. How do I— Hold on. Oops.
Bender,Wait. How do I— Hold on. Oops.,German,"#1 run, but I really must be Göring."
German,"#1 run, but I really must be Göring.",Fry,Man!
Fry,Man!,Bender,Pwned again.
Bender,Pwned again.,Cubert,This is all Bender's fault. Admit it! Your reflexes suck!
Cubert,This is all Bender's fault. Admit it! Your reflexes suck!,Bender,"Aw... It's true! My circuitry's twelve years outta-date. I can't keep up with today's high-speed, top-o'-the-line kids."
Bender,"Aw... It's true! My circuitry's twelve years outta-date. I can't keep up with today's high-speed, top-o'-the-line kids.",Fry,and I'm some sort o' stone-age throwback.
Fry,and I'm some sort o' stone-age throwback.,Cubert,You know... I might be able to speed up your reflexes by overclockin' ya.
Cubert,You know... I might be able to speed up your reflexes by overclockin' ya.,Bender,"Eh... What's that, sonny? You say it'll put some whoopiee in my cushion?"
Bender,"Eh... What's that, sonny? You say it'll put some whoopiee in my cushion?",Cubert,"This may take a while. I've got to adjust the memory timing, raise the CPU voltage, and delete twelve terabytes of outdated catchphrases."
Cubert,"This may take a while. I've got to adjust the memory timing, raise the CPU voltage, and delete twelve terabytes of outdated catchphrases.",Bender,Sounds like fun on the bun!
Bender,Sounds like fun on the bun!,Female,voice: Deleted.
Female,voice: Deleted.,Bender,Oh.
Bender,Oh.,Leela,"Fry, can we talk about our relationship?"
Leela,"Fry, can we talk about our relationship?",Fry,"Of course. Our relationship is the best thing in my life, so I'm sure I'll enjoy talking about it with you."
Fry,"Of course. Our relationship is the best thing in my life, so I'm sure I'll enjoy talking about it with you.",Leela,"I dunno. I guess I'm just feeling uneasy about us being so on-again, off-again."
Leela,"I dunno. I guess I'm just feeling uneasy about us being so on-again, off-again.",Fry,the time.
Fry,the time.,Leela,"But what would that be like? I mean... If we were together, where would we be ten years from now? Still here?"
Leela,"But what would that be like? I mean... If we were together, where would we be ten years from now? Still here?",Fry,Definitely. Or... Somewhere else.
Fry,Definitely. Or... Somewhere else.,Leela,"Maybe I'm havin' some kinda... Early-life crisis, but... Look: Don't you ever wonder about the future?"
Leela,"Maybe I'm havin' some kinda... Early-life crisis, but... Look: Don't you ever wonder about the future?",Fry,"Well, sure, but... You're always in it. Also, sometimes, terminators."
Fry,"Well, sure, but... You're always in it. Also, sometimes, terminators.",Cubert,Alright. You should run a lot faster now. Unless you die.
Cubert,Alright. You should run a lot faster now. Unless you die.,Bender.,February is the shortest month. There's three-thousand-eighteen jelly beans in that jar.
Bender.,February is the shortest month. There's three-thousand-eighteen jelly beans in that jar.,Cubert,"Damn, I'm good."
Cubert,"Damn, I'm good.",Bender,I mean three-thousand-eighteen rat kidneys.
Bender,I mean three-thousand-eighteen rat kidneys.,Cubert,"Now, then, my man. Let's see if your reflexes are—"
Cubert,"Now, then, my man. Let's see if your reflexes are—",Bender,Faster!
Bender,Faster!,Cubert,Get 'em! Get 'em! Get 'em!
Cubert,Get 'em! Get 'em! Get 'em!,Bender,"Eh, foreign aggressors. Vhat's up?"
Bender,"Eh, foreign aggressors. Vhat's up?",German,"#1: Oh, we were just eating spaetzle and listening to Kraftwerk— I— I mean, Fire!"
German,"#1: Oh, we were just eating spaetzle and listening to Kraftwerk— I— I mean, Fire!",German,"#2: That tap-dancing, decadent jazz baby is too fast for us!"
German,"#2: That tap-dancing, decadent jazz baby is too fast for us!",German,#1: Let's see him outrun a V-2!
German,#1: Let's see him outrun a V-2!,Bender,It's my brains against your von Braun!
Bender,It's my brains against your von Braun!,German,#1! I could have fired a V-8!
German,#1! I could have fired a V-8!,Walt,Those guys normally stink. That's why we play them exclusively.
Walt,Those guys normally stink. That's why we play them exclusively.,Larry,Those cheaters must've cheated!
Larry,Those cheaters must've cheated!,Walt,"Now, Larry. Let's deal with this like mature adults. Mommy!"
Walt,"Now, Larry. Let's deal with this like mature adults. Mommy!",Mom,"What is it, you colicky bastards?!"
Mom,"What is it, you colicky bastards?!",Walt,We were playing video games and the other kids didn't play fair!
Walt,We were playing video games and the other kids didn't play fair!,Mom,What?! Nobody rips off my kids but me! We can find out who they are through their motion-capture camera. It better not be those little Korean girls again. Aha! Got it!
Mom,What?! Nobody rips off my kids but me! We can find out who they are through their motion-capture camera. It better not be those little Korean girls again. Aha! Got it!,Bender,Woo! We're the greatest! Mostly me!
Bender,Woo! We're the greatest! Mostly me!,Mom,Bender Rodríguez?
Mom,Bender Rodríguez?,Walt,But he's a stock MomCorp bending unit. And 'e's twelve years out-of-date. How could 'e possibly play that well?
Walt,But he's a stock MomCorp bending unit. And 'e's twelve years out-of-date. How could 'e possibly play that well?,Bender,Did you see me?! History came alive an' I killed it!
Bender,Did you see me?! History came alive an' I killed it!,Cubert,"If I overclock you some more, maybe we can beat those Korean girls!"
Cubert,"If I overclock you some more, maybe we can beat those Korean girls!",Mom,"Well, well. That nerd burglar overclocked the Robot's processor!"
Mom,"Well, well. That nerd burglar overclocked the Robot's processor!",Larry,And that voids his warranty. Even an idiot like me knows that.
Larry,And that voids his warranty. Even an idiot like me knows that.,Mom,An idiot like you knows nothing! What matters is... It violates the licence agreement. And that means I've got 'im right by his little—
Mom,An idiot like you knows nothing! What matters is... It violates the licence agreement. And that means I've got 'im right by his little—,Smitty,Ding dong. I'm sayin' Ding dong 'cause you don't 'ave a doorbell.
Smitty,Ding dong. I'm sayin' Ding dong 'cause you don't 'ave a doorbell.,Cubert,"Hey, pigs."
Cubert,"Hey, pigs.",URL,We're lookin' for a Cubert J. Farnsworth.
URL,We're lookin' for a Cubert J. Farnsworth.,Cubert,You're porkin' at 'im!
Cubert,You're porkin' at 'im!,Smitty,You're under arrest for felony violation of the MomCorp licence agreement.
Smitty,You're under arrest for felony violation of the MomCorp licence agreement.,Professor,Farnsworth: What's all this oinking about?! Who called the fuzz?!
Professor,Farnsworth: What's all this oinking about?! Who called the fuzz?!,URL,"Sir, who's this boy's legal guardian?"
URL,"Sir, who's this boy's legal guardian?",Professor,Farnsworth: You're porkin' at 'im!
Professor,Farnsworth: You're porkin' at 'im!,URL,Then the charges apply to you too.
URL,Then the charges apply to you too.,Professor,Farnsworth: Wha?
Professor,Farnsworth: Wha?,Mom,Farnsworth?! What a lucky break!
Mom,Farnsworth?! What a lucky break!,Mom,"After all these years, I've got 'im! And legally too!"
Mom,"After all these years, I've got 'im! And legally too!",Larry,Even an idiot like me knows he'll be ruined.
Larry,Even an idiot like me knows he'll be ruined.,Mom,An idiot like you is correct!
Mom,An idiot like you is correct!,Professor,Farnsworth: You overclocked Bender?! What did I teach you about tinkering with machinery?
Professor,Farnsworth: You overclocked Bender?! What did I teach you about tinkering with machinery?,Cubert,How. You taught me how.
Cubert,How. You taught me how.,Professor,"Farnsworth: I also taught you not to get caught! Oh, I wish I'd never cloned you."
Professor,"Farnsworth: I also taught you not to get caught! Oh, I wish I'd never cloned you.",Cubert,a licence agreement!
Cubert,a licence agreement!,Professor,Farnsworth: Neither did I— Ooh.
Professor,Farnsworth: Neither did I— Ooh.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Bender, as my newest employee, could you bend this drinking straw for me?"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Bender, as my newest employee, could you bend this drinking straw for me?",Bender,Sure. Let me just.
Bender,Sure. Let me just.,Mom,"First, click the licence agreement, deary."
Mom,"First, click the licence agreement, deary.",Professor,"Farnsworth: I really shouldn't agree to things I don't understand, but I'm slightly thirsty."
Professor,"Farnsworth: I really shouldn't agree to things I don't understand, but I'm slightly thirsty.",Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, God! I clicked without reading!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, God! I clicked without reading!",Cubert,An' I slightly modified a thing that I own!
Cubert,An' I slightly modified a thing that I own!,Professor,Farnsworth: We're monsters!
Professor,Farnsworth: We're monsters!,Walt,"Congratulations, Mother. Can you die happy now?"
Walt,"Congratulations, Mother. Can you die happy now?",Mom,Not yet!
Mom,Not yet!,Walt,Darn!
Walt,Darn!,Mom,I can't rest until this bending unit is restored to factory specs.
Mom,I can't rest until this bending unit is restored to factory specs.,Igner,Why not?
Igner,Why not?,Mom,"If people learn they can overclock their old Robots, they won't buy my new Robots! This will not stand! Hoverfish, bring me the clock of Bender Rodríguez."
Mom,"If people learn they can overclock their old Robots, they won't buy my new Robots! This will not stand! Hoverfish, bring me the clock of Bender Rodríguez.",Hermes,"Good news, everyone! That's what the Professor would say if we weren't in jail facin' a life sentence."
Hermes,"Good news, everyone! That's what the Professor would say if we weren't in jail facin' a life sentence.",Bender,"processor, I'll be all like, You're a big dummy, Einstein! Get a haircut! Aw! Wow! I can't believe how stupid I used to be an' you still are. What are all these page-y things?"
Bender,"processor, I'll be all like, You're a big dummy, Einstein! Get a haircut! Aw! Wow! I can't believe how stupid I used to be an' you still are. What are all these page-y things?",Amy,Look out! You're overheating!
Amy,Look out! You're overheating!,Bender,"Yeah, yeah. There. Now, I'm water-cooled. I can stimulate my intellect without further thermodynamical disruptions."
Bender,"Yeah, yeah. There. Now, I'm water-cooled. I can stimulate my intellect without further thermodynamical disruptions.",Fry,"I miss the old, illiterate Bender."
Fry,"I miss the old, illiterate Bender.",Hermes,"What's happened to you, mon? I thought you liked beer an' knock-knock jokes."
Hermes,"What's happened to you, mon? I thought you liked beer an' knock-knock jokes.",Bender,"I'm processin' so fast, it's like I can anticipate that the ceilin' fan's gonna fall an' knock Zoidberg unconscious."
Bender,"I'm processin' so fast, it's like I can anticipate that the ceilin' fan's gonna fall an' knock Zoidberg unconscious.",Zoidberg,"Wrong, Mr. Genius."
Zoidberg,"Wrong, Mr. Genius.",Bender,"ceilin' fan. In fact, lookin' ahead, it's obvious Mom won't allow me to stay accelerated like this. Hmmm. Who's up for a turkey dinner an' a game o' badminton?"
Bender,"ceilin' fan. In fact, lookin' ahead, it's obvious Mom won't allow me to stay accelerated like this. Hmmm. Who's up for a turkey dinner an' a game o' badminton?",Hermes,Say what?!
Hermes,Say what?!,Bender,Yup.
Bender,Yup.,Amy,Uh-oh. 'E must be overheating again.
Amy,Uh-oh. 'E must be overheating again.,Hoverfish,"Bending unit, you are ordered to report for factory reset."
Hoverfish,"Bending unit, you are ordered to report for factory reset.",Zoidberg,"I hear turkey. Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop— Oh, boy. Ay... Ay. Ay."
Zoidberg,"I hear turkey. Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop— Oh, boy. Ay... Ay. Ay.",Bender,"Ten more processors for me. Once I install these, I'll have access to the loftiest realms o' thought!"
Bender,"Ten more processors for me. Once I install these, I'll have access to the loftiest realms o' thought!",Zoidberg,Anyone have access to a lofty realm of gravy?
Zoidberg,Anyone have access to a lofty realm of gravy?,Bender,I can conceive of gravies that would boggle your tiny mind! But it's not safe here. So I'll need to find a hideout.
Bender,I can conceive of gravies that would boggle your tiny mind! But it's not safe here. So I'll need to find a hideout.,Fry,"Hideout? Bender, are you becoming some kinda supervillain?"
Fry,"Hideout? Bender, are you becoming some kinda supervillain?",Bender,"Farewell, monobrains."
Bender,"Farewell, monobrains.",Yellow,"and red lawyer: Your Honour, Mom is a poor, frail industrialist with three special sons who require constant neglect. Yet, isn't it true, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that this boy, this... Cubert Farnsworth..."
Yellow,"and red lawyer: Your Honour, Mom is a poor, frail industrialist with three special sons who require constant neglect. Yet, isn't it true, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that this boy, this... Cubert Farnsworth...",Cubert,That's my name. Don't wear it out.
Cubert,That's my name. Don't wear it out.,Yellow,and red lawyer: Deliberately robber her blind by improving his own Robot?!
Yellow,and red lawyer: Deliberately robber her blind by improving his own Robot?!,Fishy,Joe: It's true! 'E did it!
Fishy,Joe: It's true! 'E did it!,Yellow,and red lawyer: No further questions for this jury.
Yellow,and red lawyer: No further questions for this jury.,Ron,"Whitey: Before I call a recess for mimosas and horse breeding, can the defence produce the bending unit in question?"
Ron,"Whitey: Before I call a recess for mimosas and horse breeding, can the defence produce the bending unit in question?",Professor,Farnsworth: We don't know where the hell 'e is.
Professor,Farnsworth: We don't know where the hell 'e is.,Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour, that is something we cannot a-doodle-do."
Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour, that is something we cannot a-doodle-do.",Ron,Whitey: Then I'm holding the defendants in contempt and fining them ten-thousand dollars a day until they produce the Robot.
Ron,Whitey: Then I'm holding the defendants in contempt and fining them ten-thousand dollars a day until they produce the Robot.,Hermes,"Oh! At that rate, Planet Express will be bankrupt in... Four fingers!"
Hermes,"Oh! At that rate, Planet Express will be bankrupt in... Four fingers!",Hermes,"It's been a good run, people, but this is the end."
Hermes,"It's been a good run, people, but this is the end.",Zoidberg,"Wait! I've got it! This building's technically in the theatre district. If we could mount one big musical featuring everyone's talents, we might just save Planet Express!"
Zoidberg,"Wait! I've got it! This building's technically in the theatre district. If we could mount one big musical featuring everyone's talents, we might just save Planet Express!",Fry,Alright!
Fry,Alright!,Zoidberg,Hooray!
Zoidberg,Hooray!,Hermes,We're saved!
Hermes,We're saved!,Leela,has given me the kick in the pants I needed. It's time for me to leave and make a fresh start.
Leela,has given me the kick in the pants I needed. It's time for me to leave and make a fresh start.,Fry,"Don't go, Leela, please. You an' me... We were supposed to..."
Fry,"Don't go, Leela, please. You an' me... We were supposed to...",Leela,What?
Leela,What?,Fry,I dunno. But someday we'll find out. Won't we?
Fry,I dunno. But someday we'll find out. Won't we?,Leela,"Goodbye, Fry."
Leela,"Goodbye, Fry.",Fry,"I dunno, Randy. I just feel like my life's falling apart. The Professor's in jail and now Leela's gone forever."
Fry,"I dunno, Randy. I just feel like my life's falling apart. The Professor's in jail and now Leela's gone forever.",Randy,"Munchnik: Stay strong, Fry."
Randy,"Munchnik: Stay strong, Fry.",Fry,You're the best friend I have left. An' I barely even know you.
Fry,You're the best friend I have left. An' I barely even know you.,Randy,Munchnik for help?
Randy,Munchnik for help?,Fry,"What are you, Randy? A complete moron?! I'd love to talk to Bender, but I 'ave no idea where 'e is."
Fry,"What are you, Randy? A complete moron?! I'd love to talk to Bender, but I 'ave no idea where 'e is.",Randy,"Munchnik: Well, if 'e's runnin' on twelve processors, 'e must be some place with a lotta power and liquid coolant."
Randy,"Munchnik: Well, if 'e's runnin' on twelve processors, 'e must be some place with a lotta power and liquid coolant.",Fry,Aw! You're no help at all! I'm gonna go kill myself.
Fry,Aw! You're no help at all! I'm gonna go kill myself.,Fry,drowning.
Fry,drowning.,Paper-hatted,salesman: Barrels here. Can't go over the Falls without a barrel.
Paper-hatted,salesman: Barrels here. Can't go over the Falls without a barrel.,Fry,What are my chances of surviving in one o' those?
Fry,What are my chances of surviving in one o' those?,Paper-hatted,salesman: Slim to none.
Paper-hatted,salesman: Slim to none.,Fry,I like those odds!
Fry,I like those odds!,Fry,Wait. This isn't a barrel. It's just a stinking cask! I want my money back! Ow! Ow!
Fry,Wait. This isn't a barrel. It's just a stinking cask! I want my money back! Ow! Ow!,Fry,worth three-thousand dollars.
Fry,worth three-thousand dollars.,Fry,Hello? Anybody?
Fry,Hello? Anybody?,Bender,Fry?
Bender,Fry?,Fry,Bender?! Are you in here?!
Fry,Bender?! Are you in here?!,Bender,In here is the only place I'm not. I amuse myself.
Bender,In here is the only place I'm not. I amuse myself.,Fry,But— Bender?! What happened to you?
Fry,But— Bender?! What happened to you?,Bender,I'll try to put it in terms you can comprehend. I passed the existential singularity.
Bender,I'll try to put it in terms you can comprehend. I passed the existential singularity.,Fry,Try harder!
Fry,Try harder!,Bender,I hacked myself inside-out and now the entire universe is my processor.
Bender,I hacked myself inside-out and now the entire universe is my processor.,Fry,"Whoa! I definitely wanna hear about that. But, first, I need your help. The Professor and Cubert are in trouble and Leela left me. I'm in misery!"
Fry,"Whoa! I definitely wanna hear about that. But, first, I need your help. The Professor and Cubert are in trouble and Leela left me. I'm in misery!",Bender,Two if I've been eatin' broccoli. All existence is just a chess game. An' I can see fifty moves ahead. Human emotion no longer concerns me.
Bender,Two if I've been eatin' broccoli. All existence is just a chess game. An' I can see fifty moves ahead. Human emotion no longer concerns me.,Fry,But— But Randy said—
Fry,But— But Randy said—,Bender,Randy?! 'Ave you been hangin' out with Randy?!
Bender,Randy?! 'Ave you been hangin' out with Randy?!,Fry,"Please, Bender. If everything is a chess game for you, you must know how to help me."
Fry,"Please, Bender. If everything is a chess game for you, you must know how to help me.",Bender,"I'm sorry, Fry. But some games you just can't win. Cubert and the Professor are guilty. The jury will vote to convict. I can't change that."
Bender,"I'm sorry, Fry. But some games you just can't win. Cubert and the Professor are guilty. The jury will vote to convict. I can't change that.",Fry,"Well, what about Leela? Is there any hope things could still work out between us?"
Fry,"Well, what about Leela? Is there any hope things could still work out between us?",Bender,"It's getting late. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some new heavy elements to create. Better cover your nads. It may get a little non-Newtonian in here."
Bender,"It's getting late. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some new heavy elements to create. Better cover your nads. It may get a little non-Newtonian in here.",Ron,"Whitey: Not only have the defendants failed to rebut the charges, they've not even presented any mitigating factors to recommend leniency. It strikes me as an extra-risky strategy."
Ron,"Whitey: Not only have the defendants failed to rebut the charges, they've not even presented any mitigating factors to recommend leniency. It strikes me as an extra-risky strategy.",Hyper-Chicken,Did you say extra-crispy recipe?
Hyper-Chicken,Did you say extra-crispy recipe?,Ron,Whitey: You know I didn't.
Ron,Whitey: You know I didn't.,Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour... If we could locate Bender Rodríguez, he would testify that my clients acted without malice."
Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honour... If we could locate Bender Rodríguez, he would testify that my clients acted without malice.",Fry,"No, 'e wouldn't. Bender doesn't care about us anymore."
Fry,"No, 'e wouldn't. Bender doesn't care about us anymore.",Zoidberg,Someone used to care about me?! Hooray!
Zoidberg,Someone used to care about me?! Hooray!,Ron,"Whitey: In that case, the jury will begin its deliberations. Bailiff, release the jury collies."
Ron,"Whitey: In that case, the jury will begin its deliberations. Bailiff, release the jury collies.",Mom,I finally nailed Farnsworth. Destroyin' the boy is just icing on the cake.
Mom,I finally nailed Farnsworth. Destroyin' the boy is just icing on the cake.,Larry,"No one destroys a boy like you, Mother."
Larry,"No one destroys a boy like you, Mother.",Mom,disappointment.
Mom,disappointment.,Fry,Any word from Leela?
Fry,Any word from Leela?,Amy,I heard she took a job selling deep-space real estate. Somewhere beyond the most distant thing ever observed with a telescope.
Amy,I heard she took a job selling deep-space real estate. Somewhere beyond the most distant thing ever observed with a telescope.,Fry,She always liked not being observed with a telescope.
Fry,She always liked not being observed with a telescope.,Ron,Whitey: Order. Order in the head.
Ron,Whitey: Order. Order in the head.,Bender,"comprehension, I 'ave returned to testify on behalf of the defendants."
Bender,"comprehension, I 'ave returned to testify on behalf of the defendants.",Professor,Farnsworth: Yay!
Professor,Farnsworth: Yay!,Cubert,"Yay, Bender!"
Cubert,"Yay, Bender!",Fry,I knew 'e cared about us!
Fry,I knew 'e cared about us!,Hermes,care about us!
Hermes,care about us!,Fry,Leave me alone.
Fry,Leave me alone.,Yellow,"and red lawyer: Your Honour, I object to this surprise witness. 'E's too surprising!"
Yellow,"and red lawyer: Your Honour, I object to this surprise witness. 'E's too surprising!",Ron,Whitey: Sustained. Testimony has closed.
Ron,Whitey: Sustained. Testimony has closed.,Bender,But— Your Honour—
Bender,But— Your Honour—,Ron,Whitey: Silence! One more in-burst like that an' I'll have this courtroom removed from you! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Ron,Whitey: Silence! One more in-burst like that an' I'll have this courtroom removed from you! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!,Bender,"I'm sorry, guys. I didn't realise I was late. I guess I'm not as smart as everybody thought."
Bender,"I'm sorry, guys. I didn't realise I was late. I guess I'm not as smart as everybody thought.",Professor,Farnsworth: I was born in prison and I'll die in prison.
Professor,Farnsworth: I was born in prison and I'll die in prison.,Bender,There is still one hope. You're co-defendants. An' the jury might not wanna convict a twelve-year-old.
Bender,There is still one hope. You're co-defendants. An' the jury might not wanna convict a twelve-year-old.,Mom,Son of a nerd. He may be right! Make sure Farnsworth doesn't get off easy on account o' that snot-gobbling twerp.
Mom,Son of a nerd. He may be right! Make sure Farnsworth doesn't get off easy on account o' that snot-gobbling twerp.,Ron,Whitey: 'As the jury reached a verdict?
Ron,Whitey: 'As the jury reached a verdict?,Fishy,"Joe: Not just any verdict, Your Honour. A great verdict!"
Fishy,"Joe: Not just any verdict, Your Honour. A great verdict!",Mom,They're going to take pity on him! Do something!
Mom,They're going to take pity on him! Do something!,Yellow,"and red lawyer: Your Honour, prosecution moves to drop the charges against Cubert Farnsworth."
Yellow,"and red lawyer: Your Honour, prosecution moves to drop the charges against Cubert Farnsworth.",Ron,Whitey: Very well. The case against Cubert Farnsworth is hereby dismissed.
Ron,Whitey: Very well. The case against Cubert Farnsworth is hereby dismissed.,Cubert,Told ya I'd get away with it.
Cubert,Told ya I'd get away with it.,Ron,Whitey verdict against Professor Farnsworth.
Ron,Whitey verdict against Professor Farnsworth.,Fishy,"Joe: You got it, Judge. I think you'll find this verdict as fair as it is cruel."
Fishy,"Joe: You got it, Judge. I think you'll find this verdict as fair as it is cruel.",Bender,"Your Honour, I move for a mistrial on grounds of double jeopardy. Cubert Farnsworth cannot be tried twice for the same crime! Cubert is the Professor's clone. Ergo, they are legally the same person. Since you dismissed the charges against Cubert, you cannot convict the Professor of these same charges!"
Bender,"Your Honour, I move for a mistrial on grounds of double jeopardy. Cubert Farnsworth cannot be tried twice for the same crime! Cubert is the Professor's clone. Ergo, they are legally the same person. Since you dismissed the charges against Cubert, you cannot convict the Professor of these same charges!",Hyper-Chicken,"Well, I'll be a nugget's uncle. He's right!"
Hyper-Chicken,"Well, I'll be a nugget's uncle. He's right!",Ron,Whitey: What a brilliant legal shenanigan! Case dismissed.
Ron,Whitey: What a brilliant legal shenanigan! Case dismissed.,Zoidberg,Yay!
Zoidberg,Yay!,Fry,Yay!
Fry,Yay!,Hermes,Yes!
Hermes,Yes!,Fry,"Bender, you knew all this would happen, didn't you?"
Fry,"Bender, you knew all this would happen, didn't you?",Bender,Yes. All except this part.
Bender,Yes. All except this part.,Mom,"If I can't bring down Farnsworth, I can at least dumb down 'is Robot. Take 'im away and reset 'im to factory-stupid condition!"
Mom,"If I can't bring down Farnsworth, I can at least dumb down 'is Robot. Take 'im away and reset 'im to factory-stupid condition!",Fry,"Bender, wait. While you can still calculate the future, just tell me: What's gonna happen with me an' Leela?"
Fry,"Bender, wait. While you can still calculate the future, just tell me: What's gonna happen with me an' Leela?",Bender,"There's no time now. Quick, Zoidberg! Take three steps to your right!"
Bender,"There's no time now. Quick, Zoidberg! Take three steps to your right!",Nibbler,"We've had some tough times, but at least we won a Tony!"
Nibbler,"We've had some tough times, but at least we won a Tony!",Zoidberg,won a Tony. Feh!
Zoidberg,won a Tony. Feh!,Fry,Wow. You gave up your superintelligence to save us. Why did you come back?
Fry,Wow. You gave up your superintelligence to save us. Why did you come back?,Bender,"Honestly, I couldn't think o' one good reason. But some decisions can't be made by thinking. Even if you're drunk! No galaxies there."
Bender,"Honestly, I couldn't think o' one good reason. But some decisions can't be made by thinking. Even if you're drunk! No galaxies there.",Leela,Knock knock.
Leela,Knock knock.,Bender,Oh! Oh! Who's there?!
Bender,Oh! Oh! Who's there?!,Fry,Leela?!
Fry,Leela?!,Professor,Farnsworth: Yay!
Professor,Farnsworth: Yay!,Bender,Leela who?!
Bender,Leela who?!,Fry,It's good to see you. Is it good to see me?
Fry,It's good to see you. Is it good to see me?,Leela,Of course.
Leela,Of course.,Amy,"Come on in, Leela! Take that ugly coat off!"
Amy,"Come on in, Leela! Take that ugly coat off!",Leela,"Thanks. Hi, everybody."
Leela,"Thanks. Hi, everybody.",Hermes,So... Tell us. How's the intergalactic real estate going?
Hermes,So... Tell us. How's the intergalactic real estate going?,Leela,"Pretty good. I just sold a castle to the King of Space. But, somehow, I keep finding myself thinking about this place. An' things."
Leela,"Pretty good. I just sold a castle to the King of Space. But, somehow, I keep finding myself thinking about this place. An' things.",Fry,Things like me or... Things like this badminton racket?
Fry,Things like me or... Things like this badminton racket?,Leela,"You, Fry. Bender, while you still have your giant brain, please... Tell me: If Fry an' I ended up together—"
Leela,"You, Fry. Bender, while you still have your giant brain, please... Tell me: If Fry an' I ended up together—",Fry,"It's too late, Leela. He's good, old Bender again. 'E's totally useless."
Fry,"It's too late, Leela. He's good, old Bender again. 'E's totally useless.",Bender...,By Bender.
Bender...,By Bender.,Fry,"Uh, it's probably better if we don't know. Uh, mystery of life and whatnot."
Fry,"Uh, it's probably better if we don't know. Uh, mystery of life and whatnot.",Leela,Gimme that!
Leela,Gimme that!,Galactic,"Entity: A wise man once said that nothing really dies. It just comes back in a new form. Then he died. So, next time you see a lowly salamander, think twice before you step on it. It might be you. Stand by for Reincarnation."
Galactic,"Entity: A wise man once said that nothing really dies. It just comes back in a new form. Then he died. So, next time you see a lowly salamander, think twice before you step on it. It might be you. Stand by for Reincarnation.",Planet,"Express headquarters: 'Owdy, folks! Come on in!"
Planet,"Express headquarters: 'Owdy, folks! Come on in!",I'm,a bee-youtiful purple-haired goyl.
I'm,a bee-youtiful purple-haired goyl.,Bender,Watch it!
Bender,Watch it!,Fry,"Oh, it's just that I love Leela something awful. Do you think a space-age dame like her would ever marry a two-bit, low-life delivery boy like me an' also I 'ave bad posture and severe financial problems?"
Fry,"Oh, it's just that I love Leela something awful. Do you think a space-age dame like her would ever marry a two-bit, low-life delivery boy like me an' also I 'ave bad posture and severe financial problems?",Bender,Have you tried gettin' 'er pregnant?
Bender,Have you tried gettin' 'er pregnant?,Fry,pregnant.
Fry,pregnant.,Bender,Too much smoke in your face.
Bender,Too much smoke in your face.,Fry,"ask Leela to marry me, but I can't afford a diamond ring big enough to express my love."
Fry,"ask Leela to marry me, but I can't afford a diamond ring big enough to express my love.",Bender,Not on the measly salary I steal from you each month.
Bender,Not on the measly salary I steal from you each month.,Horn,"loudspeaker: All crew, report to the laboratorium. Get a wiggle on."
Horn,"loudspeaker: All crew, report to the laboratorium. Get a wiggle on.",Fry,"Thanks for the heads-up, Sparky."
Fry,"Thanks for the heads-up, Sparky.",Horn,loudspeaker: Mhm. Fish on Friday. An' Human flesh the rest of the week.
Horn,loudspeaker: Mhm. Fish on Friday. An' Human flesh the rest of the week.,Professor,Farnsworth I've discovered a new comet!
Professor,Farnsworth I've discovered a new comet!,Leela,"One side, boys. Let a lady take a gander."
Leela,"One side, boys. Let a lady take a gander.",Professor,Farnsworth: Hang on. Let me just adjust it to your eye level.
Professor,Farnsworth: Hang on. Let me just adjust it to your eye level.,Leela,Holy matrimony! That's one flashy rock!
Leela,Holy matrimony! That's one flashy rock!,Professor,Farnsworth: Indeed. It's pure diamondium!
Professor,Farnsworth: Indeed. It's pure diamondium!,Fry,Um... Would it be possible to break off a piece an' put it in an engagement ring for reasons that are private?
Fry,Um... Would it be possible to break off a piece an' put it in an engagement ring for reasons that are private?,Professor,"Farnsworth Now hop in the flivver and score me some o' that sweet, sweet powder."
Professor,"Farnsworth Now hop in the flivver and score me some o' that sweet, sweet powder.",Hermes,"Comet ahoy! Why, it's lit up like a smooth, refreshing Chesterfield."
Hermes,"Comet ahoy! Why, it's lit up like a smooth, refreshing Chesterfield.",Professor,Farnsworth Over and out.
Professor,Farnsworth Over and out.,Amy,"Watch it, ya stumblebums! You're boopin' my betty!"
Amy,"Watch it, ya stumblebums! You're boopin' my betty!",Fry,Um... I'll be back in a jiff. I gotta go check this comet for anarchists.
Fry,Um... I'll be back in a jiff. I gotta go check this comet for anarchists.,Fry,"Wouldja look at that gem! Slap that shiner on a ring an' me an' Leela will be doing the married, horizontal Charleston in no time."
Fry,"Wouldja look at that gem! Slap that shiner on a ring an' me an' Leela will be doing the married, horizontal Charleston in no time.",Fry,"Alright, diamond. You won those rounds. But I've got an ace up my hole."
Fry,"Alright, diamond. You won those rounds. But I've got an ace up my hole.",Leela,I love this time of day. There's such a beautiful stillness.
Leela,I love this time of day. There's such a beautiful stillness.,Fry,"Leela, I don't know if words can describe how I feel about you—"
Fry,"Leela, I don't know if words can describe how I feel about you—",Leela,Good?
Leela,Good?,Fry,"Huh. I guess they can. Anyhow, when a guy feels good about 'is sweetheart, 'e wants to prove it by giving 'er somethin' really... Good!"
Fry,"Huh. I guess they can. Anyhow, when a guy feels good about 'is sweetheart, 'e wants to prove it by giving 'er somethin' really... Good!",Leela,"I'm still listenin', you big lug."
Leela,"I'm still listenin', you big lug.",Fry,"Among the stars. The beautiful, affordable stars."
Fry,"Among the stars. The beautiful, affordable stars.",Leela,You mean... When you disappeared up on the comet...
Leela,You mean... When you disappeared up on the comet...,Fry,Exactly.
Fry,Exactly.,Leela,I thought you snuck off to take a dump.
Leela,I thought you snuck off to take a dump.,Fry,A man can sneak off to do two things.
Fry,A man can sneak off to do two things.,Leela,"Oh, Fry!"
Leela,"Oh, Fry!",Fry,on your finger.
Fry,on your finger.,Leela's,finger: You've made me the happiest finger in the whole wide hand!
Leela's,finger: You've made me the happiest finger in the whole wide hand!,Fry,"Comet kaboomination in three, two—"
Fry,"Comet kaboomination in three, two—",Bird,Uh... Hello?! Cuckoo!
Bird,Uh... Hello?! Cuckoo!,Fry,It went kersplitters!
Fry,It went kersplitters!,Leela,"Fry, I don't need a diamond. You've given me the most beautiful rainbow I've ever seen! All the colours of the spectrum!"
Leela,"Fry, I don't need a diamond. You've given me the most beautiful rainbow I've ever seen! All the colours of the spectrum!",Fry,Not beautiful enough! A swell gal like you deserves better!
Fry,Not beautiful enough! A swell gal like you deserves better!,Leela,"It's so beautiful! Fry, you've created a new colour! Totally different from any other colour or combination of colours."
Leela,"It's so beautiful! Fry, you've created a new colour! Totally different from any other colour or combination of colours.",Fry,Whoa!
Fry,Whoa!,Leela,Whoa! I wish this moment could last forever.
Leela,Whoa! I wish this moment could last forever.,Fry,"Leela, my love, will you marry—"
Fry,"Leela, my love, will you marry—",Alien,"Bernilla, my love, will you marry me?"
Alien,"Bernilla, my love, will you marry me?",Bernilla,Blorg! Blorg! A thousand times blorg!
Bernilla,Blorg! Blorg! A thousand times blorg!,Bender,"Ba-da-ba-da-ba-dip-That's all you get, jerks!"
Bender,"Ba-da-ba-da-ba-dip-That's all you get, jerks!",Professor,"Farnsworth: Good news, multiplayers! After a lifetime of toil, I'm on the verge of solving all the mysteries of science!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Good news, multiplayers! After a lifetime of toil, I'm on the verge of solving all the mysteries of science!",Bender,So we can leave early?
Bender,So we can leave early?,Professor,"Farnsworth Not until I demonstrate this new microscope lens, made from the debris of that diamondium comet."
Professor,"Farnsworth Not until I demonstrate this new microscope lens, made from the debris of that diamondium comet.",Bender,"Eh, Professor."
Bender,"Eh, Professor.",Professor,"Farnsworth: Yes, Bender?"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Yes, Bender?",Bender,Okay. Too bad. Goodbye.
Bender,Okay. Too bad. Goodbye.,Professor,Farnsworth: You're not through with this level! I have another lens.
Professor,Farnsworth: You're not through with this level! I have another lens.,Hermes,"Whatever you say, mon."
Hermes,"Whatever you say, mon.",Professor,Farnsworth Follow me to the lab.
Professor,Farnsworth Follow me to the lab.,Bender,"Hey, I'm gonna try that! So long, meatbags! Son of a—"
Bender,"Hey, I'm gonna try that! So long, meatbags! Son of a—",Professor,"Farnsworth: Eh, let me just insert lens in microscope. There! Now, for the first time, we may be able to see the infinitesimal fabric of matter itself. Laying bare the most fundamental laws of the universe!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Eh, let me just insert lens in microscope. There! Now, for the first time, we may be able to see the infinitesimal fabric of matter itself. Laying bare the most fundamental laws of the universe!",Leela,"Hey, Fry. I know something you could lay bare."
Leela,"Hey, Fry. I know something you could lay bare.",Fry,Leela! Shhh! I'm tryin' to listen to a physics lecture!
Fry,Leela! Shhh! I'm tryin' to listen to a physics lecture!,Professor,"Farnsworth: Now, to examine some matter. Any old matter will do."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Now, to examine some matter. Any old matter will do.",Hermes,"Mon, that's some cheap-ass matter! What the hell is it?"
Hermes,"Mon, that's some cheap-ass matter! What the hell is it?",Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, it's just a log I found in a hole in the bottom of the sea. Now, to penetrate its deepest mysteries."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, it's just a log I found in a hole in the bottom of the sea. Now, to penetrate its deepest mysteries.",Leela,"Hey, Fry."
Leela,"Hey, Fry.",Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, my! There's a frog on a bump on this log that I found in a hole in the bottom of the sea!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Oh, my! There's a frog on a bump on this log that I found in a hole in the bottom of the sea!",Leela,An' that's the ultimate secret of the universe?!
Leela,An' that's the ultimate secret of the universe?!,Professor,Farnsworth: Apparently so. Wait! There's a snail on the tail of the frog on the bump on this log that I found in a hole in the bottom of the sea!
Professor,Farnsworth: Apparently so. Wait! There's a snail on the tail of the frog on the bump on this log that I found in a hole in the bottom of the sea!,Hermes,Dear Eliza!
Hermes,Dear Eliza!,Professor,"Farnsworth: The snail itself is composed of cells, molecules, atoms..."
Professor,"Farnsworth: The snail itself is composed of cells, molecules, atoms...",Fry,Pfff! Those things don't rhyme!
Fry,Pfff! Those things don't rhyme!,Professor,"Farnsworth: Things only rhyme below ten to the minus five angstroms, you dope! Now, ions an' pions, muons an' gluons, neutrinos, gravitinos... We're closing in on the very smallest particles of matter! For the first time, we're about to observe the fundamental structure of the universe. Such detail. Such finely wrought intricate beauty!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Things only rhyme below ten to the minus five angstroms, you dope! Now, ions an' pions, muons an' gluons, neutrinos, gravitinos... We're closing in on the very smallest particles of matter! For the first time, we're about to observe the fundamental structure of the universe. Such detail. Such finely wrought intricate beauty!",Leela,It's like staring into the face of God!
Leela,It's like staring into the face of God!,Scruffy,It's a mirror into Scruffy's soul.
Scruffy,It's a mirror into Scruffy's soul.,Professor,"Farnsworth: This explains everything! Even the Big Bang that created the universe! All that's left is the mathematics! Put down h-bar, uh, carry the infinity, and— My-reka! There it is! The Grand Unified Theory! Reducing all the laws of nature to a single equation!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: This explains everything! Even the Big Bang that created the universe! All that's left is the mathematics! Put down h-bar, uh, carry the infinity, and— My-reka! There it is! The Grand Unified Theory! Reducing all the laws of nature to a single equation!",Amy,"Professor, you did it! You solved the problem that baffled Einstein an' drove Stephen Hawking to quit physics and become a cartoon voice actor!"
Amy,"Professor, you did it! You solved the problem that baffled Einstein an' drove Stephen Hawking to quit physics and become a cartoon voice actor!",Stephen,"Hawking's head: I like physics, but I love cartoons."
Stephen,"Hawking's head: I like physics, but I love cartoons.",Professor,"Farnsworth: This is the greatest moment in scientific history! At last, there are no more questions left to answer!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: This is the greatest moment in scientific history! At last, there are no more questions left to answer!",Stephen,Hawking's head: Yay!
Stephen,Hawking's head: Yay!,Amy,Yay!
Amy,Yay!,Hermes,"Woohoo! Alright! Well done, Professor. Okay. Back to work, everyone."
Hermes,"Woohoo! Alright! Well done, Professor. Okay. Back to work, everyone.",Professor,Farnsworth: Wait. There are no more questions left to answer.
Professor,Farnsworth: Wait. There are no more questions left to answer.,Professor,Farnsworth: Oh.
Professor,Farnsworth: Oh.,Morbo,And those are today's high scores. Linda?
Morbo,And those are today's high scores. Linda?,Linda,"Thanks, Morbo. Coming up next, Galaxians. What you need to know to protect your family."
Linda,"Thanks, Morbo. Coming up next, Galaxians. What you need to know to protect your family.",Professor,Farnsworth: How do you people do it? How do you go on knowing there's nothing more to know?!
Professor,Farnsworth: How do you people do it? How do you go on knowing there's nothing more to know?!,Fry,I watch TV. It's the next best thing to bein' alive.
Fry,I watch TV. It's the next best thing to bein' alive.,Professor,Farnsworth: What's the use? I'm just not capable of the happiness of the dumb. If only I'd made some mistake!
Professor,Farnsworth: What's the use? I'm just not capable of the happiness of the dumb. If only I'd made some mistake!,Stephen,Hawking's head: You didn't. I checked the invariance of your Lagrangian. Hubba-hubba.
Stephen,Hawking's head: You didn't. I checked the invariance of your Lagrangian. Hubba-hubba.,Professor,Farnsworth: Then there's nothing left to do! Nothing!
Professor,Farnsworth: Then there's nothing left to do! Nothing!,Bender,Would it cheer you up if I punched Fry in the groin? 'Cause I'll do it. Regardless. Body blow! Body blow!
Bender,Would it cheer you up if I punched Fry in the groin? 'Cause I'll do it. Regardless. Body blow! Body blow!,Professor,Farnsworth: I devoted every waking minute to answering the fundamental questions of science.
Professor,Farnsworth: I devoted every waking minute to answering the fundamental questions of science.,Professor,Farnsworth: I never married.
Professor,Farnsworth: I never married.,Professor,Farnsworth: Rarely went outside!
Professor,Farnsworth: Rarely went outside!,Professor,"Farnsworth: And, now that I've found all the answers, I realise that what I was living for were the questions!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: And, now that I've found all the answers, I realise that what I was living for were the questions!",Fry,way and not some other way. I wonder why it did that.
Fry,way and not some other way. I wonder why it did that.,Stephen,Hawking's head: Probably magnets.
Stephen,Hawking's head: Probably magnets.,Professor,"Farnsworth the laws of physics what they are? Instead of some other laws? To find out, we'd have to recreate the conditions before the Big Bang. It would take decades of work by thousands of scientists in a particle accelerator powered by dump trucks of flaming grant money. Of course, there'd be no guarantee of success. And, in any case, I'd never live to see it."
Professor,"Farnsworth the laws of physics what they are? Instead of some other laws? To find out, we'd have to recreate the conditions before the Big Bang. It would take decades of work by thousands of scientists in a particle accelerator powered by dump trucks of flaming grant money. Of course, there'd be no guarantee of success. And, in any case, I'd never live to see it.",Leela,I'm surprised you lived through that sentence.
Leela,I'm surprised you lived through that sentence.,Hermes,"Sorry you wasted your life, Professor. I guess you never know everything after all."
Hermes,"Sorry you wasted your life, Professor. I guess you never know everything after all.",Professor,Farnsworth: Indeed. The pursuit of knowledge is hopeless and eternal. Hooray!
Professor,Farnsworth: Indeed. The pursuit of knowledge is hopeless and eternal. Hooray!,Amy,Yay!
Amy,Yay!,Hermes,Yeah-heah!
Hermes,Yeah-heah!,Bender,Woohoo! Alright! Yay!
Bender,Woohoo! Alright! Yay!,Professor,"Farnsworth: Action Delivery Force, assemble!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Action Delivery Force, assemble!",Bender,"And me, Mighty Merchandise Robot!"
Bender,"And me, Mighty Merchandise Robot!",Transition,"Announcer: Meanwhile, on Space Planet 4, the Aliens who communicate by dancing..."
Transition,"Announcer: Meanwhile, on Space Planet 4, the Aliens who communicate by dancing...",Transition,Announcer: Were worshipping a giant comet.
Transition,Announcer: Were worshipping a giant comet.,Subtitle,All hail great comet! Beloved mascot of popular shrimp crunch snack! Also God. Foreigners killed our God! Many words of disapproval!
Subtitle,All hail great comet! Beloved mascot of popular shrimp crunch snack! Also God. Foreigners killed our God! Many words of disapproval!,Leela,"What is that box, you old witch?"
Leela,"What is that box, you old witch?",Professor,Farnsworth Wha? The marvellous device. It's detecting a massive burst of anger. From deep space!
Professor,Farnsworth Wha? The marvellous device. It's detecting a massive burst of anger. From deep space!,Subtitle,There is Earth! Attack it as previously discussed!
Subtitle,There is Earth! Attack it as previously discussed!,Fry,Flying bananas? Ha ha! I will slice them on my morning fish porridge.
Fry,Flying bananas? Ha ha! I will slice them on my morning fish porridge.,Professor,"Farnsworth: This is no time for one of your jokes, Fry."
Professor,"Farnsworth: This is no time for one of your jokes, Fry.",Fry,I will lead the defence fight.
Fry,I will lead the defence fight.,Professor,"Farnsworth: Ha ha ha ha! Don't make me laugh. If we fight, we'll surely be destroyed."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Ha ha ha ha! Don't make me laugh. If we fight, we'll surely be destroyed.",Hermes,Then what is our only hope?!
Hermes,Then what is our only hope?!,Amy,"We must summon Zagtar, defender of space!"
Amy,"We must summon Zagtar, defender of space!",Hermes,forget!
Hermes,forget!,Hermes,Zagtar was destroyed by the crystal space devil!
Hermes,Zagtar was destroyed by the crystal space devil!,Leela,"The crystal space devil was once my brother, Prince Hiroshi."
Leela,"The crystal space devil was once my brother, Prince Hiroshi.",Leela,I mourn his loss. But what matters now is protecting Earth from that fruit armada.
Leela,I mourn his loss. But what matters now is protecting Earth from that fruit armada.,Professor,"Farnsworth: I see your mother, the water Mutant, didn't raise any fools, Turanga Leela. Our only hope is to communicate with the Aliens. And show them our peaceful intentions."
Professor,"Farnsworth: I see your mother, the water Mutant, didn't raise any fools, Turanga Leela. Our only hope is to communicate with the Aliens. And show them our peaceful intentions.",Bender,Perhaps they speak perfect English... As do we.
Bender,Perhaps they speak perfect English... As do we.,Professor,Farnsworth: We can't take that chance! We'll need my universal auto-translator!
Professor,Farnsworth: We can't take that chance! We'll need my universal auto-translator!,Professor,Farnsworth is my universal auto-translator!
Professor,Farnsworth is my universal auto-translator!,Fry,That will show them our peaceful intentions.
Fry,That will show them our peaceful intentions.,Professor,"Farnsworth: The only question is, Who should be our spokesman?!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: The only question is, Who should be our spokesman?!",Zoidberg,Me! Me! Choose Zoidberg.
Zoidberg,Me! Me! Choose Zoidberg.,Fry,"Zoidberg, a diplomat? The list of things I've heard now contains everything."
Fry,"Zoidberg, a diplomat? The list of things I've heard now contains everything.",Zoidberg,"like a samurai honeymoon mask, but inside I'm as soft and sensitive as a girl made of custard!"
Zoidberg,"like a samurai honeymoon mask, but inside I'm as soft and sensitive as a girl made of custard!",Cubert,Custard time?! Hooray!
Cubert,Custard time?! Hooray!,Zoidberg,Please! I am certain I will succeed with my delicate manner. Oops.
Zoidberg,Please! I am certain I will succeed with my delicate manner. Oops.,Leela,"will send the peace transmission. Most honoured visitors, we greet you in peace."
Leela,"will send the peace transmission. Most honoured visitors, we greet you in peace.",Subtitle,"Why does it flap its face hole? I am puzzled, for we don't know what mouths are. It's a threat! Destruct them!"
Subtitle,"Why does it flap its face hole? I am puzzled, for we don't know what mouths are. It's a threat! Destruct them!",Professor,Farnsworth: All attempts to communicate with the Aliens have failed. I fear our only option is thrilling space battle.
Professor,Farnsworth: All attempts to communicate with the Aliens have failed. I fear our only option is thrilling space battle.,Bender,"and Fry: Power friends, go!"
Bender,"and Fry: Power friends, go!",Male,voice: Launch all missiles! Launch all missiles!
Male,voice: Launch all missiles! Launch all missiles!,Professor,Farnsworth: We were defeated in battle.
Professor,Farnsworth: We were defeated in battle.,Bender,"Oh, no! They're forming Gigatron!"
Bender,"Oh, no! They're forming Gigatron!",Professor,"Farnsworth: Defeat is ours. If we can't communicate with these bone-jelly ghosts, we're doomed!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Defeat is ours. If we can't communicate with these bone-jelly ghosts, we're doomed!",Amy,Aliens' movements with this movement analyser.
Amy,Aliens' movements with this movement analyser.,Professor,Farnsworth: That device was a gift from my ancestors. Go on.
Professor,Farnsworth: That device was a gift from my ancestors. Go on.,Amy,their movements are a form of language. Rather than speaking Ja—
Amy,their movements are a form of language. Rather than speaking Ja—,Transition,Announcer: English!
Transition,Announcer: English!,Amy,"Like us, they speak by dancing."
Amy,"Like us, they speak by dancing.",Professor,"Farnsworth: Of course! Having no mouths our ears, they could only communicate through motions!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Of course! Having no mouths our ears, they could only communicate through motions!",Fry,Or perhaps by odours!
Fry,Or perhaps by odours!,Bender,communicate!
Bender,communicate!,"Amy,","Leela, Fry, Bender, and Hermes: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
"Amy,","Leela, Fry, Bender, and Hermes: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!",Leela,peace dance. But it will have to be smoother an' more fluid than any movement mankind is capable of.
Leela,peace dance. But it will have to be smoother an' more fluid than any movement mankind is capable of.,Fry,What if we hire a buttered geisha?
Fry,What if we hire a buttered geisha?,Professor,"Farnsworth: Another one of your ill-timed jokes, Fry?!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Another one of your ill-timed jokes, Fry?!",Fry,You an' I are enemies now!
Fry,You an' I are enemies now!,Zoidberg,"Hear my words. I believe I, the most humble member of Action Delivery Team, could do such a dance!"
Zoidberg,"Hear my words. I believe I, the most humble member of Action Delivery Team, could do such a dance!",Hermes,"Surely, your heart shell is too rigid! I call on anyone but you to do the peace dance!"
Hermes,"Surely, your heart shell is too rigid! I call on anyone but you to do the peace dance!",Zoidberg,Aw.
Zoidberg,Aw.,"Bender,",I will do the peace dance. But I will need 'elp.
"Bender,",I will do the peace dance. But I will need 'elp.,Bender,"and Fry: Super Dance Squad, initiate!"
Bender,"and Fry: Super Dance Squad, initiate!",Amy,We all hope they're communicating a peaceful message!
Amy,We all hope they're communicating a peaceful message!,Subtitle,"Hey Aliens, we will kill you! And dishonor your widows by making them gather wood! Fire a the weapon!"
Subtitle,"Hey Aliens, we will kill you! And dishonor your widows by making them gather wood! Fire a the weapon!",Professor,"Farnsworth: Wha, wha?! We thought we were so smart with our science and dancing, but look at us now: At Gigatron's mercy!"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Wha, wha?! We thought we were so smart with our science and dancing, but look at us now: At Gigatron's mercy!",Zoidberg,The shame is too great. It's time to end this! Huh-yah! Feh!
Zoidberg,The shame is too great. It's time to end this! Huh-yah! Feh!,Leela,"Zoidberg, stop! We are too scared right now to enjoy the ceremony of your death!"
Leela,"Zoidberg, stop! We are too scared right now to enjoy the ceremony of your death!",Zoidberg!,The gelatinous dance of peace!
Zoidberg!,The gelatinous dance of peace!,Hermes,"may be gelatinous, but not even the Mochi Phanton could perform such intricate motions!"
Hermes,"may be gelatinous, but not even the Mochi Phanton could perform such intricate motions!",Zoidberg,"Says you, salaryman!"
Zoidberg,"Says you, salaryman!",Subtitle,What is the medical crab doing?
Subtitle,What is the medical crab doing?,Zoidberg,Behold! The dance of peace!
Zoidberg,Behold! The dance of peace!,Bender,The dance is so complex! The eye can barely follow it!
Bender,The dance is so complex! The eye can barely follow it!,Zoidberg,"I may be the humblest Team member, but I have given it my all."
Zoidberg,"I may be the humblest Team member, but I have given it my all.",Amy,"I underestimated you, medical crab. But will the Aliens understand?!"
Amy,"I underestimated you, medical crab. But will the Aliens understand?!",Subtitle,We have understand peace.
Subtitle,We have understand peace.,Subtitle,"Farewell, Action Team."
Subtitle,"Farewell, Action Team.",Professor,"Farnsworth: Zoidberg, you are the greatest hero. You saved us all."
Professor,"Farnsworth: Zoidberg, you are the greatest hero. You saved us all.",Zoidberg,For now. But another threat from the stars is sure to arise next week at the same time!
Zoidberg,For now. But another threat from the stars is sure to arise next week at the same time!,Leela,Until then...
Leela,Until then...,Bender,and Fry: Action Delivery Force star-hero rocket engage!
Bender,and Fry: Action Delivery Force star-hero rocket engage!,Farnsworth,"Planet Express crew, report to headquarters immediately! Repeat: what I just said, immediately!!"
Farnsworth,"Planet Express crew, report to headquarters immediately! Repeat: what I just said, immediately!!",Amy,Step away from the car and no one gets hurt!
Amy,Step away from the car and no one gets hurt!,Zoidberg,To the employment cave!
Zoidberg,To the employment cave!,Hermes,"Thanks, dear. Off to work."
Hermes,"Thanks, dear. Off to work.",Scruffy,Hyah! Hyah!
Scruffy,Hyah! Hyah!,Scruffy,G'on now. Gid on back ta Paraguay.
Scruffy,G'on now. Gid on back ta Paraguay.,Fry,We're bein' eaten by a giant spider!
Fry,We're bein' eaten by a giant spider!,Leela,There's no time for that! The Professor needs us!
Leela,There's no time for that! The Professor needs us!,Farnsworth,"as you know, I've delivered a lot of good news in the past. But what I'm about to lay down is, by far, the greatest announcement in the history of Planet Express!"
Farnsworth,"as you know, I've delivered a lot of good news in the past. But what I'm about to lay down is, by far, the greatest announcement in the history of Planet Express!",Fry,What is it? I'm on the edge of my butt!
Fry,What is it? I'm on the edge of my butt!,Farnsworth,soda machine!
Farnsworth,soda machine!,Zoidberg,"You undersold it, Professor!"
Zoidberg,"You undersold it, Professor!",Fry,"Look, it has Slurm Loco! It's the extremeiest!"
Fry,"Look, it has Slurm Loco! It's the extremeiest!",Soda,"Machine: Hey, what can I get y'all?"
Soda,"Machine: Hey, what can I get y'all?",Fry,Shut up and give me a Slurm Loco!
Fry,Shut up and give me a Slurm Loco!,Bender,"Ooh ooh! Hey, drink machine, what kind of alcoholic sodas you got?"
Bender,"Ooh ooh! Hey, drink machine, what kind of alcoholic sodas you got?",Soda,Machine: Y'all can't drink at work! This ain't a saw mill!
Soda,Machine: Y'all can't drink at work! This ain't a saw mill!,Bender,"No alcohol?! Pfft, an' you got the nerve to call yourself a beverage machine?!"
Bender,"No alcohol?! Pfft, an' you got the nerve to call yourself a beverage machine?!",Soda,"machine: I call myself Bev. An' if you're lookin' for a smelly ol' can o' booze, go look in the mirror!"
Soda,"machine: I call myself Bev. An' if you're lookin' for a smelly ol' can o' booze, go look in the mirror!",Fry,"Oh, snap!"
Fry,"Oh, snap!",Bender,Wooooh—
Bender,Wooooh—,Hermes,"No, now, everybody, calm down."
Hermes,"No, now, everybody, calm down.",Fry,"Pretty neat, huh?"
Fry,"Pretty neat, huh?",Hermes,I was wondering who Shrek'd in the toilet.
Hermes,I was wondering who Shrek'd in the toilet.,Bender,You've turned this perfectly worthless loser into an addict!
Bender,You've turned this perfectly worthless loser into an addict!,Bev,I'm just a cold grinder's daughter tryin' ta stay off the pole.
Bev,I'm just a cold grinder's daughter tryin' ta stay off the pole.,Bev,"Well, I guess a fella's gotta talk big when he's sportin' a little shriveled-up antenna like that."
Bev,"Well, I guess a fella's gotta talk big when he's sportin' a little shriveled-up antenna like that.",Bender,"What?! You—ih—For your information, madam, it's a grower, not a show-er!"
Bender,"What?! You—ih—For your information, madam, it's a grower, not a show-er!",Bender,My antenna's fine! It's just fine! Ladies can't get enough Bender!
Bender,My antenna's fine! It's just fine! Ladies can't get enough Bender!,Esther,I need to loosen up. Gimme a screwdriver.
Esther,I need to loosen up. Gimme a screwdriver.,Bender,Helloooooo! Who's your half-dumb friend?
Bender,Helloooooo! Who's your half-dumb friend?,Ruth,Me.
Ruth,Me.,Bender,"Sure, why not?"
Bender,"Sure, why not?",Esther,"Hang on. It's too bright in here. Call me old-fashioned, but I like a little romance in an orgy."
Esther,"Hang on. It's too bright in here. Call me old-fashioned, but I like a little romance in an orgy.",Ruth,Let's switch off this weird light.
Ruth,Let's switch off this weird light.,Fry,Yow!
Fry,Yow!,Bender,"Fry, it's two a.m.!  What're ya doin' here glowin' on my skanks?"
Bender,"Fry, it's two a.m.!  What're ya doin' here glowin' on my skanks?",Ruth,We don't gotta put up with this! We got polyside degrees.
Ruth,We don't gotta put up with this! We got polyside degrees.,Bender,I'll just politely escort him in the gutter!
Bender,I'll just politely escort him in the gutter!,Bender,"Scram, shiny!"
Bender,"Scram, shiny!",Bender,All right! How we feelin'?
Bender,All right! How we feelin'?,Ruth,Hot. I could bake a potato in my cleavage.
Ruth,Hot. I could bake a potato in my cleavage.,Esther,"Yeah, I need a seltzer."
Esther,"Yeah, I need a seltzer.",Bender,"Uh, hey, drink machine, ya got anything classy for these delicate flowers?"
Bender,"Uh, hey, drink machine, ya got anything classy for these delicate flowers?",Bev,I ain't makin' drinks for no trashy robosluts!
Bev,I ain't makin' drinks for no trashy robosluts!,Esther,Trashy? At least I don't put out for quarters!
Esther,Trashy? At least I don't put out for quarters!,Esther,Hey!
Esther,Hey!,Bender,"Hey! Stop that...drink machine! Stop it, I say!"
Bender,"Hey! Stop that...drink machine! Stop it, I say!",Esther,That's it! We're outta here!
Esther,That's it! We're outta here!,Ruth,C'mon. We'll split a blintz.
Ruth,C'mon. We'll split a blintz.,Bender,Wait! Gimme a chance to defend your honor. And then sell it to you on the couch!
Bender,Wait! Gimme a chance to defend your honor. And then sell it to you on the couch!,Bev,You try it and I'll bash yo' face in!
Bev,You try it and I'll bash yo' face in!,Bender,Ooh! I'm so scared...no-arms!
Bender,Ooh! I'm so scared...no-arms!,Bender,Interesting!
Bender,Interesting!,Leela,"Uh, Fry, you're glowing like the Human Torch on prom night."
Leela,"Uh, Fry, you're glowing like the Human Torch on prom night.",Amy,Shouldn't you be standing on a rocky coast somewhere preventing shipwrecks?
Amy,Shouldn't you be standing on a rocky coast somewhere preventing shipwrecks?,Fry,Nice! Hate me because of the brightness of my skin!
Fry,Nice! Hate me because of the brightness of my skin!,Fry,"You okay, ma'am? I think your soda water broke."
Fry,"You okay, ma'am? I think your soda water broke.",Fry,My God! Bev just had a baby in my cup!
Fry,My God! Bev just had a baby in my cup!,Fry,"I know, right?"
Fry,"I know, right?",Leela,"Wait, no he isn't."
Leela,"Wait, no he isn't.",Leela,(cont'd): He looks like Bender!
Leela,(cont'd): He looks like Bender!,Bender,"Oh, no no no! No way am I that kid's dad!"
Bender,"Oh, no no no! No way am I that kid's dad!",Baby,Wipe my tiny metal ass!
Baby,Wipe my tiny metal ass!,Bender,"Ah, crap."
Bender,"Ah, crap.",Baby,"Mama, thirsty!"
Baby,"Mama, thirsty!",Bev,"Hang on, dumplin'. My milk's comin' in."
Bev,"Hang on, dumplin'. My milk's comin' in.",Zoidberg,Uch! In public?!
Zoidberg,Uch! In public?!,Bender,"Ah, biscuits! I'm a father?! How did this happen?!!"
Bender,"Ah, biscuits! I'm a father?! How did this happen?!!",Bev,Does this ring a bell?
Bev,Does this ring a bell?,Bender,Are you tellin' me the stuff we did in private and also twice on the sidewalk made a baby robot? How?!
Bender,Are you tellin' me the stuff we did in private and also twice on the sidewalk made a baby robot? How?!,Amy,"Aw, Bender, didn't your mom ever tell you where robot babies come from?"
Amy,"Aw, Bender, didn't your mom ever tell you where robot babies come from?",Bender,No. She was a religious fundamentalist. Plus she didn't have a mouth. It's an unusual combination.
Bender,No. She was a religious fundamentalist. Plus she didn't have a mouth. It's an unusual combination.,Farnsworth,"Come on, everyone. Let's take Bender to the teen center to learn about the bots and the bees."
Farnsworth,"Come on, everyone. Let's take Bender to the teen center to learn about the bots and the bees.",Leela,"It's okay, Bender. No one here will laugh at you for not knowing where robot babies come from."
Leela,"It's okay, Bender. No one here will laugh at you for not knowing where robot babies come from.",Tinny,"Tim: We don't know, either."
Tinny,"Tim: We don't know, either.",Farnsworth,Then prepare to be embarrassed.
Farnsworth,Then prepare to be embarrassed.,Narrator,SEX ED. VOLUME ONE or PANTS FULL of SHAME!
Narrator,SEX ED. VOLUME ONE or PANTS FULL of SHAME!,Narrator,"Meet Gerald, a maturing young robot."
Narrator,"Meet Gerald, a maturing young robot.",Spotty,"Teen Robot: Hey, he looks like me!"
Spotty,"Teen Robot: Hey, he looks like me!",Narrator,His hideous appearance is a byproduct of his hardware gearing up for an important mission: reproduction.
Narrator,His hideous appearance is a byproduct of his hardware gearing up for an important mission: reproduction.,Fat-bot,Oh boy oh boy oh boy!
Fat-bot,Oh boy oh boy oh boy!,Narrator,"Since factories can't manufacture enough robots to meet demand, robots can also reproduce by mating."
Narrator,"Since factories can't manufacture enough robots to meet demand, robots can also reproduce by mating.",Bender,you tell me!
Bender,you tell me!,Narrator,"First, Gerald must find a female robot. The best he can do is Francine."
Narrator,"First, Gerald must find a female robot. The best he can do is Francine.",Narrator,"After beer and hot wings at a local gas station, the two enjoy intimate time behind a dumpster. It's all perfectly natural. Let's watch, aroused, as Gerald's antenna uploads a binary file to Francine's internal drive."
Narrator,"After beer and hot wings at a local gas station, the two enjoy intimate time behind a dumpster. It's all perfectly natural. Let's watch, aroused, as Gerald's antenna uploads a binary file to Francine's internal drive.",Narrator,"Yes, everything your body does is perfectly natural."
Narrator,"Yes, everything your body does is perfectly natural.",Narrator,Except masturbation! That's...just...wrong!!!
Narrator,Except masturbation! That's...just...wrong!!!,Bender,"Daaaw, I can't believe I made a kid! I'm not ready! There's so much in the world I haven't stolen yet!"
Bender,"Daaaw, I can't believe I made a kid! I'm not ready! There's so much in the world I haven't stolen yet!",Leela,"Relax, Bender. No one would let you near a child. Bev will get custody and you'll be a deadbeat dad who never even bothers to know his own son."
Leela,"Relax, Bender. No one would let you near a child. Bev will get custody and you'll be a deadbeat dad who never even bothers to know his own son.",Bender,You really think so?
Bender,You really think so?,Leela,so. You're absolutely horrible in every way.
Leela,so. You're absolutely horrible in every way.,Bender,"You're sweet, Leela."
Bender,"You're sweet, Leela.",Bender,So here's my certificate of abandonment drawn up by our notary.
Bender,So here's my certificate of abandonment drawn up by our notary.,Scruffy,That'll be ten bucks.
Scruffy,That'll be ten bucks.,Bev,I still got womanly needs! Who's gonna look twice at me with this dirty leash hangin' off my dairy nozzle?
Bev,I still got womanly needs! Who's gonna look twice at me with this dirty leash hangin' off my dairy nozzle?,Bender,"Well, not me, that's for sure!"
Bender,"Well, not me, that's for sure!",Bev,"He's all yours, pappy!"
Bev,"He's all yours, pappy!",Bender,"Hey, wait! You can't le— Wha?"
Bender,"Hey, wait! You can't le— Wha?",Bender,sleep?
Bender,sleep?,Fry,I left my window open and moths got in.
Fry,I left my window open and moths got in.,Bender,"Hey, he stopped screamin' for a second."
Bender,"Hey, he stopped screamin' for a second.",Fry,Bend some other stuff!
Fry,Bend some other stuff!,Bender's,Son: Bend! Bend!
Bender's,Son: Bend! Bend!,Bender,That's my bastard!
Bender,That's my bastard!,Bender,Uh-oh.
Bender,Uh-oh.,Ben,"Bend it, daddy!  Bend it like it called you poo-poo face!"
Ben,"Bend it, daddy!  Bend it like it called you poo-poo face!",Bender,It called me what?!?  Ooooh!  God damn!
Bender,It called me what?!?  Ooooh!  God damn!,Ben,Yay!  You bended it like a p'etzel!
Ben,Yay!  You bended it like a p'etzel!,Bender,"Okay.  Now, you."
Bender,"Okay.  Now, you.",Ben,I can't do it!
Ben,I can't do it!,Bender,"Eh, buddy.  You're learnin'.  You'll get there."
Bender,"Eh, buddy.  You're learnin'.  You'll get there.",Leela,"Bender, I was wrong.  You're a fine parent and I want to apologi—"
Leela,"Bender, I was wrong.  You're a fine parent and I want to apologi—",Bender,and Ben
Bender,and Ben,Ben,"Daddy, how'd you get so good at bending?"
Ben,"Daddy, how'd you get so good at bending?",Bender,I inherited my arm-control software from my mom.  That's how it's passed down.  Mother to son.
Bender,I inherited my arm-control software from my mom.  That's how it's passed down.  Mother to son.,Ben,But...my mommy had no arms.  Does that mean I can never be a bender?
Ben,But...my mommy had no arms.  Does that mean I can never be a bender?,Bender,"Well, sure you can.  You just need to get a bending card installed."
Bender,"Well, sure you can.  You just need to get a bending card installed.",Farnsworth,"I hate to crush a boy's dreams, but...  What the heck!  He has only one expansion slot and it holds his memory card.  This Robot will never bend!"
Farnsworth,"I hate to crush a boy's dreams, but...  What the heck!  He has only one expansion slot and it holds his memory card.  This Robot will never bend!",Bender,"Don't tell my son what he can an' can't do!  You may know what's in his head, but you don't know what's in his heart!"
Bender,"Don't tell my son what he can an' can't do!  You may know what's in his head, but you don't know what's in his heart!",Farnsworth,There's no slot in there either.
Farnsworth,There's no slot in there either.,Bender,I said shut up!
Bender,I said shut up!,Reverend,"Preacherbot: Today marks young Ben's thirteenth day of bein' left on contin-yussly! So, b'fo the lawd at this congregation, we upgrade him to manhoodbot! Can I get a mazl tov?"
Reverend,"Preacherbot: Today marks young Ben's thirteenth day of bein' left on contin-yussly! So, b'fo the lawd at this congregation, we upgrade him to manhoodbot! Can I get a mazl tov?","Leela,","Bender, Hermes, Farnsworth, Amy and Zoidberg: Mazl tov!"
"Leela,","Bender, Hermes, Farnsworth, Amy and Zoidberg: Mazl tov!",Fry,Mazl tov!
Fry,Mazl tov!,Ben,"Twice was enough. But seriously, today, I'm not just a manbot, I'm the luckiest manbot alive. My mom may have abandoned me, but I have the greatest dad in the whole universe. He's patient, he's not afraid to show his emotions...."
Ben,"Twice was enough. But seriously, today, I'm not just a manbot, I'm the luckiest manbot alive. My mom may have abandoned me, but I have the greatest dad in the whole universe. He's patient, he's not afraid to show his emotions....",Bender,Don't look at me!
Bender,Don't look at me!,Ben,"...and someday, if my dreams come true, I'll be a bender, just like him."
Ben,"...and someday, if my dreams come true, I'll be a bender, just like him.",Hermes,You must be so proud of your boy.
Hermes,You must be so proud of your boy.,Bender,I can take 'im or leave 'im.
Bender,I can take 'im or leave 'im.,Bev,I'm back for my son! I've come to take him and leave with him!
Bev,I'm back for my son! I've come to take him and leave with him!,Hermes,things!
Hermes,things!,Bev,"It's okay, son. Mama's here now."
Bev,"It's okay, son. Mama's here now.",Ben,"Daddy, don't let 'er take me!"
Ben,"Daddy, don't let 'er take me!",Bender,Get your lack o' hands off my boy! You're an unfit parent who abandoned her child!
Bender,Get your lack o' hands off my boy! You're an unfit parent who abandoned her child!,Bev,"Oh, yeah? Well, I'm still less unfitter than you!"
Bev,"Oh, yeah? Well, I'm still less unfitter than you!",Bender,Sez hoo?!
Bender,Sez hoo?!,Bev,Sez this document you gave me when you tried to abandon Ben first.
Bev,Sez this document you gave me when you tried to abandon Ben first.,Scruffy,It's genuine.
Scruffy,It's genuine.,Bender,That doesn't prove I'm an unfit parent! I was drunk and violent when I signed that!
Bender,That doesn't prove I'm an unfit parent! I was drunk and violent when I signed that!,Bev!,He's comin' with me!
Bev!,He's comin' with me!,Ben,DADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Ben,DADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!,Bender,SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!
Bender,SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!,Hermes,"That's it, Fry! For a guy who's not too bright, you're too damn bright!"
Hermes,"That's it, Fry! For a guy who's not too bright, you're too damn bright!",Farnsworth,Now get out!! And don't come back until someone finds a use for a million watt idiot!
Farnsworth,Now get out!! And don't come back until someone finds a use for a million watt idiot!,Ben,"Mom, will I ever get to see Dad again?"
Ben,"Mom, will I ever get to see Dad again?",Bev,"No, he died yesterday. Rust monsters ate his face. Sweet dreams."
Bev,"No, he died yesterday. Rust monsters ate his face. Sweet dreams.",Bender,"Psst, quit whimperin' or ya don't get kidnapped!"
Bender,"Psst, quit whimperin' or ya don't get kidnapped!",Ben,Dad!
Ben,Dad!,Bender,Come on! Let's run for it!
Bender,Come on! Let's run for it!,"Ben,",Dad?
"Ben,",Dad?,Bender,"Well, I reckon we'll just sit around this campfire a while."
Bender,"Well, I reckon we'll just sit around this campfire a while.",Ben,But then what?
Ben,But then what?,Bender,"Only a fool plans more than a few centuries ahead, son."
Bender,"Only a fool plans more than a few centuries ahead, son.",URL,"Freeze, camp woodsmen!"
URL,"Freeze, camp woodsmen!",Smitty,You're under arrest for kidnapping and burning raccoons without a permit!
Smitty,You're under arrest for kidnapping and burning raccoons without a permit!,Ben,"It's over, Dad!"
Ben,"It's over, Dad!",Bender,it!
Bender,it!,Bender,There's a dam!
Bender,There's a dam!,Ben,Damn!
Ben,Damn!,Bender,There's a grate!
Bender,There's a grate!,Ben,Great!
Ben,Great!,Bender,But I can't bend anything with my arms agonizingly maimed like this!
Bender,But I can't bend anything with my arms agonizingly maimed like this!,Ben,"Well, maybe I can!"
Ben,"Well, maybe I can!",Bender,"You can do it, son!"
Bender,"You can do it, son!",URL,"Yeah, this ain't gon' happen."
URL,"Yeah, this ain't gon' happen.",Bender,Is that even necessary?
Bender,Is that even necessary?,Ben,"I'm sorry, Daddy."
Ben,"I'm sorry, Daddy.",Bender,You got nothin' to be sorry about.
Bender,You got nothin' to be sorry about.,Leela,He's really a very good father.
Leela,He's really a very good father.,URL,"Aw, yeah."
URL,"Aw, yeah.",Bev,"I promise things'll be different, son. From now on, I'm chainin' you to a radiator!"
Bev,"I promise things'll be different, son. From now on, I'm chainin' you to a radiator!",Leela,It's another soda baby!
Leela,It's another soda baby!,URL,Damn!
URL,Damn!,Leela,You got knocked up by a police officer while he was looking for your kidnapped child?!
Leela,You got knocked up by a police officer while he was looking for your kidnapped child?!,Bev,Sure did! I still got it!
Bev,Sure did! I still got it!,Bender,what happens?
Bender,what happens?,Bev,"Tell you what, you keep the big one. Long as I got a baby to neglect, I'm happy."
Bev,"Tell you what, you keep the big one. Long as I got a baby to neglect, I'm happy.",Leela,Should we call child services?
Leela,Should we call child services?,URL,"Naw, let's get outta here."
URL,"Naw, let's get outta here.",Bender,Woo?
Bender,Woo?,Ben,"Sorry, Dad. I'm glad to be back. I'm just kinda bummed I can't bend stuff. All I ever wanted was to go to Bending State, Santa Cruz. But that's never gonna happen."
Ben,"Sorry, Dad. I'm glad to be back. I'm just kinda bummed I can't bend stuff. All I ever wanted was to go to Bending State, Santa Cruz. But that's never gonna happen.",Bender,"Listen, you need somethin' bent, you come to me, huh, champ?"
Bender,"Listen, you need somethin' bent, you come to me, huh, champ?",Bender,Dammit! I love that little guy so much! I'd sacrifice any four of you if it would help him bend even a little!
Bender,Dammit! I love that little guy so much! I'd sacrifice any four of you if it would help him bend even a little!,Farnsworth,"Eh, but, no. It's too horrible!"
Farnsworth,"Eh, but, no. It's too horrible!",Bender,Nothing's too horrible for my boy!
Bender,Nothing's too horrible for my boy!,Farnsworth,"Well, I could install a bending card."
Farnsworth,"Well, I could install a bending card.",Bender,But you said he only has one slot!
Bender,But you said he only has one slot!,Farnsworth,"Correct! I'd have to remove his memory card! He'd be able to bend, but he'd lose all his memories! He wouldn't even remember who you are!"
Farnsworth,"Correct! I'd have to remove his memory card! He'd be able to bend, but he'd lose all his memories! He wouldn't even remember who you are!",Bender,"You sure you wanna be a bender, son?"
Bender,"You sure you wanna be a bender, son?",Ben,More than anything.
Ben,More than anything.,Ben,"Dad, are you crying?"
Ben,"Dad, are you crying?",Bender,"No, I said with the mouth you're lookin' at."
Bender,"No, I said with the mouth you're lookin' at.",Bender,You sure take after your old man.
Bender,You sure take after your old man.,Ben,I never knew my father.
Ben,I never knew my father.,Bender,important is that we get you to Bending State Santa Cruz in time for registration!
Bender,important is that we get you to Bending State Santa Cruz in time for registration!,Zoidberg,Registration ends in one hour!
Zoidberg,Registration ends in one hour!,Bender,To the ship!
Bender,To the ship!,Leela,It's too foggy! We can't navigate through this storm! Our lights aren't bright enough.
Leela,It's too foggy! We can't navigate through this storm! Our lights aren't bright enough.,Bender,"I'm sorry I let you down, son."
Bender,"I'm sorry I let you down, son.",Ben,Who are you again?
Ben,Who are you again?,Bender,It's just not possible to get you to bending school this year.
Bender,It's just not possible to get you to bending school this year.,Fry,there?!
Fry,there?!,Fry,"Merry College Registration Day, everyone!"
Fry,"Merry College Registration Day, everyone!",Leela,A lot of weather we're having.
Leela,A lot of weather we're having.,Fry,Shall we go a-trousering?
Fry,Shall we go a-trousering?,Leela,"Fry, I appreciate the gallantry, but isn't this a bit much?"
Leela,"Fry, I appreciate the gallantry, but isn't this a bit much?",Fry,You're right. I'm sorry for showing my love.
Fry,You're right. I'm sorry for showing my love.,Leela,Okay. Fine.
Leela,Okay. Fine.,Fry,"Here, take my hand!"
Fry,"Here, take my hand!",Farnsworth,"News and weather, everyone. I'm sure you've all noticed the bizarre atmospheric conditions of late."
Farnsworth,"News and weather, everyone. I'm sure you've all noticed the bizarre atmospheric conditions of late.",Hermes,"Come to mention it, yes."
Hermes,"Come to mention it, yes.",Farnsworth,"It seems something ain't right in the magnetosphere, so I'm launching this high-altitude weather balloon to gather more data."
Farnsworth,"It seems something ain't right in the magnetosphere, so I'm launching this high-altitude weather balloon to gather more data.",Fry,My pants! My lucky pants!
Fry,My pants! My lucky pants!,Hermes,They don't look so lucky to me.
Hermes,They don't look so lucky to me.,Fry!,"And I was wearing them when I first met Leela, so, yeah, they're lucky!"
Fry!,"And I was wearing them when I first met Leela, so, yeah, they're lucky!",Leela,"Aw...also, oh, Lord."
Leela,"Aw...also, oh, Lord.",Fry,"Plus, they're my only pants."
Fry,"Plus, they're my only pants.",Bender,Woo!
Bender,Woo!,Farnsworth,"Soon your trousers will slip the surly bonds of Earth, and ascend to the heavens!"
Farnsworth,"Soon your trousers will slip the surly bonds of Earth, and ascend to the heavens!",Hermes,Look out! A Central Park badger!
Hermes,Look out! A Central Park badger!,Fry,"I'll save you, pants! Scruffy, do you have any varmint grease?"
Fry,"I'll save you, pants! Scruffy, do you have any varmint grease?",Scruffy,What viscosity you need?
Scruffy,What viscosity you need?,Fry,"Also, this grease is flammable!"
Fry,"Also, this grease is flammable!",Farnsworth,Incredible! Who could have done this? The sewer mutants?
Farnsworth,Incredible! Who could have done this? The sewer mutants?,Fry,Leela! Take my hand!
Fry,Leela! Take my hand!,Leela,"I'm slipping! The one time your hands aren't sticky, they're greasy!"
Leela,"I'm slipping! The one time your hands aren't sticky, they're greasy!",Fry,"I'm sorry. Normally, I would have wiped them on my pants, but–"
Fry,"I'm sorry. Normally, I would have wiped them on my pants, but–",Fry,Are you okay?
Fry,Are you okay?,Leela,I–ow! My leg! It's broken! How'd you get down here?
Leela,I–ow! My leg! It's broken! How'd you get down here?,Fry,"I'll help you up. Here, take my hand."
Fry,"I'll help you up. Here, take my hand.",Leela,"Stop telling me to take your hand! Look, Fry, your noble things keep making things worse. Can't you just be a rude, unhelpful jerk like Bender?"
Leela,"Stop telling me to take your hand! Look, Fry, your noble things keep making things worse. Can't you just be a rude, unhelpful jerk like Bender?",Bender,When I use up the toilet paper I don't put up a new roll!
Bender,When I use up the toilet paper I don't put up a new roll!,Zoidberg,And no sign of that crafty badger!
Zoidberg,And no sign of that crafty badger!,Amy,Oh my God! Look what my flashlight found!
Amy,Oh my God! Look what my flashlight found!,Zoidberg,A giant pyramid under New New York? What badger could have built this?
Zoidberg,A giant pyramid under New New York? What badger could have built this?,Farnsworth,"And look at this intricately carved disk! It merits years of study. But how can we move such a fragile, precious–"
Farnsworth,"And look at this intricately carved disk! It merits years of study. But how can we move such a fragile, precious–",Scruffy,Sorry. I was eating a can of breakfast and looking at porn.
Scruffy,Sorry. I was eating a can of breakfast and looking at porn.,Amy,"It's not Mayan, it's Martian!"
Amy,"It's not Mayan, it's Martian!",Leela,"Amy, you grew up on Mars, right? Can you read Martian?"
Leela,"Amy, you grew up on Mars, right? Can you read Martian?",Amy,"I think it means...The sun will erupt...all shall perish. Blah, blah, blah."
Amy,"I think it means...The sun will erupt...all shall perish. Blah, blah, blah.",Bender,"Get to the point! What does it say about me, Bender?"
Bender,"Get to the point! What does it say about me, Bender?",Bender,The world? That's where I live! Told you it'd say something about me!
Bender,The world? That's where I live! Told you it'd say something about me!,Fry,So the world will end in three thousand twelve. Why does that year sound so familiar?
Fry,So the world will end in three thousand twelve. Why does that year sound so familiar?,Farnsworth,Because that's the year that's this year! See?
Farnsworth,Because that's the year that's this year! See?,Scruffy,"So, uh...are you all done with the computer?"
Scruffy,"So, uh...are you all done with the computer?",Hermes,Is it just me - or is the world endin' more often these days?
Hermes,Is it just me - or is the world endin' more often these days?,Amy,"Then, it just ends!"
Amy,"Then, it just ends!",Farnsworth,It's starting!  This is the end of the world!
Farnsworth,It's starting!  This is the end of the world!,Superhero,"from : Cowardman, away!"
Superhero,"from : Cowardman, away!",Nine,it was cool.
Nine,it was cool.,Leela,Evacuating the planet in 3...2...
Leela,Evacuating the planet in 3...2...,Farnsworth,"So long, Earth! Thanks for nothing!"
Farnsworth,"So long, Earth! Thanks for nothing!",Leela,It's not starting!
Leela,It's not starting!,Sal,Come on...comes on!
Sal,Come on...comes on!,Nixon,Damn thing just won't turn over. It's like Pat on a Sunday morning!
Nixon,Damn thing just won't turn over. It's like Pat on a Sunday morning!,Farnsworth,"Oh, the Marconi is on the fritz too! The electromagnetic storm is disabling all electronics on Earth!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, the Marconi is on the fritz too! The electromagnetic storm is disabling all electronics on Earth!",Fry!,"It may take a couple of hours, but–"
Fry!,"It may take a couple of hours, but–",Leela,"Whatever time we have left, just live it with me. So...you wanna join the balcony club?"
Leela,"Whatever time we have left, just live it with me. So...you wanna join the balcony club?",Zoidberg,have an individual membership!
Zoidberg,have an individual membership!,Fry,"Zoidberg, get lost!"
Fry,"Zoidberg, get lost!",Zoidberg,lost! So long.
Zoidberg,lost! So long.,Amy,Stop the end-of-the-world sex! We might survive after all!
Amy,Stop the end-of-the-world sex! We might survive after all!,Farnsworth,"Alright, Amy! What's so important that you interrupted my embalming?"
Farnsworth,"Alright, Amy! What's so important that you interrupted my embalming?",Amy,It's a rocketship!
Amy,It's a rocketship!,Zoidberg,It was worth waiting five hours to hear you finish that sentence.
Zoidberg,It was worth waiting five hours to hear you finish that sentence.,Fry,"A spaceship made of stone? With no electronics, it just might work!"
Fry,"A spaceship made of stone? With no electronics, it just might work!",Leela,Hmmm...I've never flown a pyramid before. But I used to drive around town in a mausoleum!
Leela,Hmmm...I've never flown a pyramid before. But I used to drive around town in a mausoleum!,Hermes,How many people can this thing carry?
Hermes,How many people can this thing carry?,Leela,"Well, the mausoleum held ten horny teenagers, so...maybe thirty-thousand."
Leela,"Well, the mausoleum held ten horny teenagers, so...maybe thirty-thousand.",Nixon,Welcome to the hidey house. Brannigan! Tell me about this freaky-deaky escape pyramid!
Nixon,Welcome to the hidey house. Brannigan! Tell me about this freaky-deaky escape pyramid!,Zapp,"I can fly it, sir! I just need to know where. And how."
Zapp,"I can fly it, sir! I just need to know where. And how.",Amy,But we can only save thirty-thousand people! How do we choose who goes?
Amy,But we can only save thirty-thousand people! How do we choose who goes?,Fry,But it's okay. Because then I'll die.
Fry,But it's okay. Because then I'll die.,Nixon,"Cut the waterworks, hippie! The final decision will be made not by me, but by a cold, logical machine!"
Nixon,"Cut the waterworks, hippie! The final decision will be made not by me, but by a cold, logical machine!",Announcer,Who shall live and who shall die? Step right up to the Contrabulous Choosematron!
Announcer,Who shall live and who shall die? Step right up to the Contrabulous Choosematron!,Fry,I hate waiting in line to die.
Fry,I hate waiting in line to die.,Announcer,"Move it along, grandma! Stick your hand in and take your chances!"
Announcer,"Move it along, grandma! Stick your hand in and take your chances!",Contrabulous,Choosematron
Contrabulous,Choosematron,Hattie,"Damn straight, kajigger!"
Hattie,"Damn straight, kajigger!",Petunia,"Ooh, me next!"
Petunia,"Ooh, me next!",Contrabulous,Choosematron
Contrabulous,Choosematron,Contrabulous,Choosematron
Contrabulous,Choosematron,Contrabulous,Choosematron
Contrabulous,Choosematron,Amy,"and the Contrabulous Choosematron Sigma beta, see ya later!"
Amy,"and the Contrabulous Choosematron Sigma beta, see ya later!",Contrabulous,Choosematron
Contrabulous,Choosematron,Hermes,I wish they'd hurry. I want to get out of here before the mayhem starts!
Hermes,I wish they'd hurry. I want to get out of here before the mayhem starts!,Bender,Woo-eee!
Bender,Woo-eee!,Contrabulous,Choosematron 'Cause I like his pants.
Contrabulous,Choosematron 'Cause I like his pants.,Fry,"Yes! My lucky pants! Leela! We can go together after all! Come on, get your badge! Take my hand!"
Fry,"Yes! My lucky pants! Leela! We can go together after all! Come on, get your badge! Take my hand!",Contrabulous,Choosematron
Contrabulous,Choosematron,Leela,What?!
Leela,What?!,Contrabulous,"Choosematron: With all spaceships inoperable, we only need one spaceship pilot!"
Contrabulous,"Choosematron: With all spaceships inoperable, we only need one spaceship pilot!",Zapp,Snake door. Roger!
Zapp,Snake door. Roger!,Contrabulous,Choosematron
Contrabulous,Choosematron,Fry,Nooo!
Fry,Nooo!,Leela,Fry. The box has spoken. Go to Mars.
Leela,Fry. The box has spoken. Go to Mars.,Fry,Remember how Bender dumped all that pig's blood on me?
Fry,Remember how Bender dumped all that pig's blood on me?,Fry,I wish I could remember with my boobs.
Fry,I wish I could remember with my boobs.,Farnsworth,We'll see ourselves out.
Farnsworth,We'll see ourselves out.,Fry,A-ah-uh-uh! A magician never reveals his secrets. Except the Great Reveal-o!
Fry,A-ah-uh-uh! A magician never reveals his secrets. Except the Great Reveal-o!,Zoidberg,That guy stinks.
Zoidberg,That guy stinks.,Nixon,get the window seat.
Nixon,get the window seat.,Zapp,I figured it out!
Zapp,I figured it out!,Leela,Wait! Fry?
Leela,Wait! Fry?,Leela,"Oh, no!"
Leela,"Oh, no!",Leo,Welcome to Mars! It is with heavy heart and open arms that we receive Earth's only survivors! Admission: twenty dollar.
Leo,Welcome to Mars! It is with heavy heart and open arms that we receive Earth's only survivors! Admission: twenty dollar.,Amy,Dad! Gleesh!
Amy,Dad! Gleesh!,Zapp,We come to your planet to construct a gleaming city! A second Earth on which to begin anew!
Zapp,We come to your planet to construct a gleaming city! A second Earth on which to begin anew!,Inez,Okay! Admission: twenty dollar!
Inez,Okay! Admission: twenty dollar!,Leela,I can't believe it. Fry sacrificed his spot for me and I never even had a chance to thank him.
Leela,I can't believe it. Fry sacrificed his spot for me and I never even had a chance to thank him.,Zoidberg,"Don't worry, Leela! Earth is still there. Peaceful and serene as ever."
Zoidberg,"Don't worry, Leela! Earth is still there. Peaceful and serene as ever.",Fry,Bender! You're stealing your own stuff!
Fry,Bender! You're stealing your own stuff!,Bender,You want a Torah?
Bender,You want a Torah?,Fry,"Nah, I'm not hungry."
Fry,"Nah, I'm not hungry.",Fry,"No. 'Cause as long as Leela lives, I'll be alive too. In her heart. But really I'll be dead!"
Fry,"No. 'Cause as long as Leela lives, I'll be alive too. In her heart. But really I'll be dead!",Nixon,Dick Francisco!
Nixon,Dick Francisco!,Great,"Reveal-o: The doves didn't magically spring from my hand, but rather were crammed into this netting sewn into my sleeve!"
Great,"Reveal-o: The doves didn't magically spring from my hand, but rather were crammed into this netting sewn into my sleeve!",Unknown,person: Stop the ceremony!
Unknown,person: Stop the ceremony!,Nixon,Who is this non-Washington redskin?
Nixon,Who is this non-Washington redskin?,Singing,Wind: I am Singing Wind. Chief of the native Martian tribe.
Singing,Wind: I am Singing Wind. Chief of the native Martian tribe.,Leela,But I thought your people abandoned this planet.
Leela,But I thought your people abandoned this planet.,Singing,Wind: We did! I just came back for my stuff. What are you guys doing here?
Singing,Wind: We did! I just came back for my stuff. What are you guys doing here?,Farnsworth,"Fleeing Earth, of course! We flew here in your great stone pyramid!"
Farnsworth,"Fleeing Earth, of course! We flew here in your great stone pyramid!",Singing,Wind: Seriously? That thing flies?
Singing,Wind: Seriously? That thing flies?,Singing,"Wind Why you think we so eager to abandon this dump? You guys got ten, fifteen minutes max! Well, so long!"
Singing,"Wind Why you think we so eager to abandon this dump? You guys got ten, fifteen minutes max! Well, so long!",Zapp,To the spaceship!
Zapp,To the spaceship!,Kif,There is no spaceship. You had it dismantled to build that statue!
Kif,There is no spaceship. You had it dismantled to build that statue!,Zapp,Ah! Ah!
Zapp,Ah! Ah!,Farnsworth,The final solar flare is going to bypass Earth and strike Mars!
Farnsworth,The final solar flare is going to bypass Earth and strike Mars!,Hermes,My God! One of the hundreds of contradictory prophecies is coming true!
Hermes,My God! One of the hundreds of contradictory prophecies is coming true!,Leela,"I should have known better than to trust one of Fry's romantic gestures. Every time he says he loves me, I get killed!"
Leela,"I should have known better than to trust one of Fry's romantic gestures. Every time he says he loves me, I get killed!",Farnsworth,It's just as I only now began to fear! The solar flares are igniting subsurface gas pockets!
Farnsworth,It's just as I only now began to fear! The solar flares are igniting subsurface gas pockets!,Amy,Ah! Mars is being blasted out of its orbit!
Amy,Ah! Mars is being blasted out of its orbit!,Leela,Fry! You noble idiot!
Leela,Fry! You noble idiot!,Fry,"You're right, Bender! Grave robbing is fun! And these piñas coladas are fantastic!"
Fry,"You're right, Bender! Grave robbing is fun! And these piñas coladas are fantastic!",Bender,"The crazy weather cleared up too, for whatever reason!"
Bender,"The crazy weather cleared up too, for whatever reason!",Fry,"All in all, it's a fine day for an apocalypse."
Fry,"All in all, it's a fine day for an apocalypse.",Bender,So...you don't miss whatshername?
Bender,So...you don't miss whatshername?,Fry,"But even though we're millions of miles apart, somehow, I feel she's near me."
Fry,"But even though we're millions of miles apart, somehow, I feel she's near me.",Bender,Very near!
Bender,Very near!,Hattie,"Oh, no! The kajigger of Gibraltar!"
Hattie,"Oh, no! The kajigger of Gibraltar!",Dandy,Jim
Dandy,Jim,Gus,"Thanks, friend!"
Gus,"Thanks, friend!",Farnsworth,"We're passing surprisingly close to Earth! When we reach 72nd Street, jump!"
Farnsworth,"We're passing surprisingly close to Earth! When we reach 72nd Street, jump!",Zapp,Ah...cushiony!
Zapp,Ah...cushiony!,Amy,We made it! We're back home!
Amy,We made it! We're back home!,Hermes,"Okay. Today is still a work day, so–"
Hermes,"Okay. Today is still a work day, so–",Leela,I'm still on Mars and I can't jump!
Leela,I'm still on Mars and I can't jump!,Fry,"Hang on, Leela! I'll save you again!"
Fry,"Hang on, Leela! I'll save you again!",Leela,Or somebody else could do it!
Leela,Or somebody else could do it!,Fry,I got her.
Fry,I got her.,Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Fry,Oops! Try again!
Fry,Oops! Try again!,Leela,We're too far apart!
Leela,We're too far apart!,Fry,...aaah!
Fry,...aaah!,Zoidberg,Good thing Scruffy rescued Leela.
Zoidberg,Good thing Scruffy rescued Leela.,Scruffy,Don't thank me. Thank the ladder.
Scruffy,Don't thank me. Thank the ladder.,Fry,"I hope you're not too mad at me, Leela. For tearing your arm off and all."
Fry,"I hope you're not too mad at me, Leela. For tearing your arm off and all.",Leela,"I can't be mad. I'm on way too many painkillers. Plus, you were willing to sacrifice yourself so I could live! I mean, you failed...miserably...but you're the only person who loves me enough to try."
Leela,"I can't be mad. I'm on way too many painkillers. Plus, you were willing to sacrifice yourself so I could live! I mean, you failed...miserably...but you're the only person who loves me enough to try.",Bender,Free beer?!
Bender,Free beer?!,Bender,Hello. I'm here for the...free beer?
Bender,Hello. I'm here for the...free beer?,Nixon,"Well, there's plenty more where that came from!"
Nixon,"Well, there's plenty more where that came from!",iZac,We're all out o' beer!
iZac,We're all out o' beer!,Nixon,"And furthermore, by golly, I promise to cut taxes for the rich and use the poor as a cheap source of teeth for aquarium gravel!"
Nixon,"And furthermore, by golly, I promise to cut taxes for the rich and use the poor as a cheap source of teeth for aquarium gravel!",Fry,"Yeah, that'll show those poor!"
Fry,"Yeah, that'll show those poor!",Leela,"Why are you cheering, Fry? You're not rich!"
Leela,"Why are you cheering, Fry? You're not rich!",Fry,"True. But someday I might be rich, and people like me better watch their step!"
Fry,"True. But someday I might be rich, and people like me better watch their step!",Leela,Let's just find Bender.
Leela,Let's just find Bender.,Bender,Ah...that hit the spot!
Bender,Ah...that hit the spot!,Fry,I found Bender!
Fry,I found Bender!,Bender,"Good news, everyone!"
Bender,"Good news, everyone!",Farnsworth,Wha?
Farnsworth,Wha?,Bender,Go Nixon!
Bender,Go Nixon!,Leela,"Bender, you can't even vote. You're a convicted felon!"
Leela,"Bender, you can't even vote. You're a convicted felon!",Bender,"Convicted, sentenced and executed! But Nixon passes a law that says ex-cons can vote again...as long as they vote for Nixon."
Bender,"Convicted, sentenced and executed! But Nixon passes a law that says ex-cons can vote again...as long as they vote for Nixon.",Leela,"But Nixon's the worst president in history. And alternate history! The rest of you aren't voting for him, are you?"
Leela,"But Nixon's the worst president in history. And alternate history! The rest of you aren't voting for him, are you?",Fry,"Sure, we are!"
Fry,"Sure, we are!",Zoidberg,Why not?
Zoidberg,Why not?,Farnsworth,Of course!
Farnsworth,Of course!,Amy,Spluh!
Amy,Spluh!,Zoidberg,"He may not be perfect, but do we really want some unknown new guy? I'll stick with the evil maniac I know, thank you."
Zoidberg,"He may not be perfect, but do we really want some unknown new guy? I'll stick with the evil maniac I know, thank you.",Leela,"Well, I think we can do better. This year, I'm going to get involved in the political process and make my voice heard."
Leela,"Well, I think we can do better. This year, I'm going to get involved in the political process and make my voice heard.",Farnsworth,What?
Farnsworth,What?,Leela,Is this the political process? 'Cause I'm here to get involved in it.
Leela,Is this the political process? 'Cause I'm here to get involved in it.,Morbo,Question one. Will you pledge today to somehow reduce taxes while simultaneously lowering the deficit.
Morbo,Question one. Will you pledge today to somehow reduce taxes while simultaneously lowering the deficit.,Candidate,"1: Hey, that's a good idea! Sure."
Candidate,"1: Hey, that's a good idea! Sure.",Candidate,"2: If it'll win me the election, then yes."
Candidate,"2: If it'll win me the election, then yes.",Candidate,3 That's all.
Candidate,3 That's all.,Morbo,Senator Travers?
Morbo,Senator Travers?,Travers,"Look, let's be honest here. No one likes taxes. But they pay for our basic needs. Roads, schools, defence. If we hope to realise our aspirations as a great planet, we must each pay our fair share to achieve those noble goals."
Travers,"Look, let's be honest here. No one likes taxes. But they pay for our basic needs. Roads, schools, defence. If we hope to realise our aspirations as a great planet, we must each pay our fair share to achieve those noble goals.",Morbo,Question two: The environment. Yes or no?
Morbo,Question two: The environment. Yes or no?,Candidate,1: No. It's junk science.
Candidate,1: No. It's junk science.,Candidate,2: Two words: Condor attack. Don't want that. Got to say no.
Candidate,2: Two words: Condor attack. Don't want that. Got to say no.,Candidate,5
Candidate,5,Leela,Hello? I'd like to volunteer. Is anyone lurking?
Leela,Hello? I'd like to volunteer. Is anyone lurking?,Leela,Senator Travers? That's no way to win an election.
Leela,Senator Travers? That's no way to win an election.,Travers,I give up. No one cares about my message. I never should have used the same P.R. guy as One Hour Hot Dog!
Travers,I give up. No one cares about my message. I never should have used the same P.R. guy as One Hour Hot Dog!,Travers',P.R. guy People will wait for something good.
Travers',P.R. guy People will wait for something good.,Travers,"10,000 views? That's more than most water-skiing squirrels get. You really think I have a chance?"
Travers,"10,000 views? That's more than most water-skiing squirrels get. You really think I have a chance?",Leela,"Absolutely. We just need to conceal your intelligence and honesty in a hipper, dumber package."
Leela,"Absolutely. We just need to conceal your intelligence and honesty in a hipper, dumber package.",Travers,"You, out!"
Travers,"You, out!",Travers',P.R. guy: You haven't heard the last of m–
Travers',P.R. guy: You haven't heard the last of m–,Linda,Election 3012. The choosening!
Linda,Election 3012. The choosening!,Morbo,"Chris Travers got a bump in the new Hampshire polls today, where he simuldined in 250 diners at once via hologram."
Morbo,"Chris Travers got a bump in the new Hampshire polls today, where he simuldined in 250 diners at once via hologram.",Leela,He won the nomination! We the people did it!
Leela,He won the nomination! We the people did it!,Hermes,It wasn't we the people. It was you the mutant. Your insightful nagging really won us over.
Hermes,It wasn't we the people. It was you the mutant. Your insightful nagging really won us over.,Fry,"Yeah. You explained his positions in a way even an idiot could understand. And that appealed to me, for whatever reason."
Fry,"Yeah. You explained his positions in a way even an idiot could understand. And that appealed to me, for whatever reason.",Leela,"Thanks, guys, but we have a lot of work ahead of us. If we're going to win the election, we've all got to get involved."
Leela,"Thanks, guys, but we have a lot of work ahead of us. If we're going to win the election, we've all got to get involved.",Fry,You said it!
Fry,You said it!,Amy,That's right.
Amy,That's right.,Nixon,I'm not sure if it's safe to talk. Are you wearing a wire?
Nixon,I'm not sure if it's safe to talk. Are you wearing a wire?,Nixon,"Excellent. Now, listen. We got to get some dirt on this Travers guy. Really McGovern him up. You know who McGovern was, right?"
Nixon,"Excellent. Now, listen. We got to get some dirt on this Travers guy. Really McGovern him up. You know who McGovern was, right?",Nixon,I don't even know who you are.
Nixon,I don't even know who you are.,Travers,"Hey, what's that rifling sound?"
Travers,"Hey, what's that rifling sound?",Bender,All right. I'm going to catch Travers on video at this sleazy strip club.
Bender,All right. I'm going to catch Travers on video at this sleazy strip club.,Bender,In and out of the club 13 times in one night. That's a record.
Bender,In and out of the club 13 times in one night. That's a record.,Nixon,Where's Travers? All I see is you going in and out.
Nixon,Where's Travers? All I see is you going in and out.,Bender,"Yeah, me. I set the record."
Bender,"Yeah, me. I set the record.",Bender,"Look, just give me one more chance. I got a source."
Bender,"Look, just give me one more chance. I got a source.",Nixon,"Well, you did manage to get a tremendous urine sample."
Nixon,"Well, you did manage to get a tremendous urine sample.",Bender,Let's not talk about that!
Bender,Let's not talk about that!,Bender,"'Is that you, big throat?"
Bender,"'Is that you, big throat?",Big,Throat
Big,Throat,Bender,"Listen, I need some dirt on Senator Chris Travers."
Bender,"Listen, I need some dirt on Senator Chris Travers.",Hedonismbot,There's nothing. He's as clean as a freshly waxed buttock.
Hedonismbot,There's nothing. He's as clean as a freshly waxed buttock.,Bender,Hey! Did you put your tongue in my ear?
Bender,Hey! Did you put your tongue in my ear?,Hedonismbot,Certainly not. I don't have a tongue.
Hedonismbot,Certainly not. I don't have a tongue.,Bender,"Oh, good. 'Cause I don't have an ear."
Bender,"Oh, good. 'Cause I don't have an ear.",Nixon,Well? What did you get on Travers? Is he a draft dodger? Sex offender? Sex dodger?
Nixon,Well? What did you get on Travers? Is he a draft dodger? Sex offender? Sex dodger?,Bender,"I'm sorry, but there's not one unusual thing about Senator Chris Zaxxar Travers."
Bender,"I'm sorry, but there's not one unusual thing about Senator Chris Zaxxar Travers.",Nixon,"Wait, wait. His middle name is Zaxxar? Sounds kind of alien. The voters hate aliens."
Nixon,"Wait, wait. His middle name is Zaxxar? Sounds kind of alien. The voters hate aliens.",Nixon,I don't care what he is. We'll start a rumour that he's an alien.
Nixon,I don't care what he is. We'll start a rumour that he's an alien.,Bender,"Hey, yeah. That'll cost him votes!"
Bender,"Hey, yeah. That'll cost him votes!",Travers,And that's how you end hunger. Does anyone have any questions?
Travers,And that's how you end hunger. Does anyone have any questions?,Bender,"I do, I do! Me, Bender!"
Bender,"I do, I do! Me, Bender!",Travers,"Yes, the robot with the megaphone jumping up and down."
Travers,"Yes, the robot with the megaphone jumping up and down.",Ruth,Bader Ginsburg: You Ruth Bader believe it!
Ruth,Bader Ginsburg: You Ruth Bader believe it!,Travers,But–but...I...Of course I was born on Earth!
Travers,But–but...I...Of course I was born on Earth!,Bender,"Oh, really? Then we voters demand you release your Earth certificate so I can then claim it's a fake."
Bender,"Oh, really? Then we voters demand you release your Earth certificate so I can then claim it's a fake.",Travers,I'm not going to dignify this preposterous charge. Are there any real questions?
Travers,I'm not going to dignify this preposterous charge. Are there any real questions?,Scoop,"Chang: Scoop Chang, fox quote-unquote news. Senator, in the last ten seconds, I've heard reports you weren't actually born on earth. Care to evade these compelling charges?"
Scoop,"Chang: Scoop Chang, fox quote-unquote news. Senator, in the last ten seconds, I've heard reports you weren't actually born on earth. Care to evade these compelling charges?",Leela,"Okay, let's nip this Earther movement in the bud by releasing your earth certificate. Where were you born?"
Leela,"Okay, let's nip this Earther movement in the bud by releasing your earth certificate. Where were you born?",Travers,Our Lady of Patriotism Hospital.
Travers,Our Lady of Patriotism Hospital.,Leela,"Patriotism, good! Where is it?"
Leela,"Patriotism, good! Where is it?",Travers,Kenya.
Travers,Kenya.,Leela,Cradle of humanity!
Leela,Cradle of humanity!,Travers,"Leela, this is just a stupid distraction from the issues. Please don't look for my Earth certificate."
Travers,"Leela, this is just a stupid distraction from the issues. Please don't look for my Earth certificate.",Travers,Hey! That was my favorite window. I better see what they want.
Travers,Hey! That was my favorite window. I better see what they want.,Bender,"and the protestors: We want an earthling, not a dirty space thing!"
Bender,"and the protestors: We want an earthling, not a dirty space thing!",Leela,Why are you rednecks doing this?
Leela,Why are you rednecks doing this?,Travers,"Leela, don't stereotype. Why are you yokels doing this?"
Travers,"Leela, don't stereotype. Why are you yokels doing this?",Septic,tank
Septic,tank,Travers,But I come from Earth.
Travers,But I come from Earth.,Hattie,Then show us yer Earth whatchacallit! Long-form certificate of live birth!
Hattie,Then show us yer Earth whatchacallit! Long-form certificate of live birth!,Travers,What would it take to convince you people? Would I have to have been born right before your eyes?
Travers,What would it take to convince you people? Would I have to have been born right before your eyes?,Sal,It wouldn't hurts.
Sal,It wouldn't hurts.,Bender,"Hit it, rubes!"
Bender,"Hit it, rubes!",Bender,and the protestors: We don't want a foreigner! We want someone born here!
Bender,and the protestors: We don't want a foreigner! We want someone born here!,Bender,"Ah, I'm still working on that one."
Bender,"Ah, I'm still working on that one.",Leela,"What's wrong with you? Why are you sabotaging a decent, honest candidate?"
Leela,"What's wrong with you? Why are you sabotaging a decent, honest candidate?",Bender,'Cause they won't let me near the Hoover Dam anymore!
Bender,'Cause they won't let me near the Hoover Dam anymore!,Leela,What a bunch of xenophobes. It's time to find Senator Travers' earth certificate and put an end to this nonsense. Who wants to help me break into the hospital in Kenya?
Leela,What a bunch of xenophobes. It's time to find Senator Travers' earth certificate and put an end to this nonsense. Who wants to help me break into the hospital in Kenya?,Fry,I'll come. As long as there's no xenophobes there.
Fry,I'll come. As long as there's no xenophobes there.,Bender,"I want to come, too."
Bender,"I want to come, too.",Leela,You? Why?
Leela,You? Why?,Bender,To prove that I can put divisive partisan politics aside to participate in a break-in.
Bender,To prove that I can put divisive partisan politics aside to participate in a break-in.,Bender,Hospital ho!
Bender,Hospital ho!,Leela,Shh! It's a herd of night watchmen.
Leela,Shh! It's a herd of night watchmen.,Leela,I don't understand. There's no earth certificate in here.
Leela,I don't understand. There's no earth certificate in here.,Travers,I told you not to look.
Travers,I told you not to look.,Fry,"So, you're not from Earth after all."
Fry,"So, you're not from Earth after all.",Travers,Of course I'm from earth.
Travers,Of course I'm from earth.,Leela,"Wait a second. There's no Earth certificate, but it does say your mother was admitted to the maternity ward...this morning!"
Leela,"Wait a second. There's no Earth certificate, but it does say your mother was admitted to the maternity ward...this morning!",Travers,"I should have known the truth would come out sooner or later. The fact is, I really was born on earth...tomorrow. You see, I'm not from another planet. I'm from the future."
Travers,"I should have known the truth would come out sooner or later. The fact is, I really was born on earth...tomorrow. You see, I'm not from another planet. I'm from the future.",Fry,You're from the future?
Fry,You're from the future?,Leela,This is crazy! You're from the future?
Leela,This is crazy! You're from the future?,Travers,Yes. I was sent back from the year 3028 to prevent Nixon from getting elected.
Travers,Yes. I was sent back from the year 3028 to prevent Nixon from getting elected.,Fry,"I was sent forward from the year 2000, but you don't hear me gassing on about it."
Fry,"I was sent forward from the year 2000, but you don't hear me gassing on about it.",Leela,But why would it be so important to stop Nixon?
Leela,But why would it be so important to stop Nixon?,Travers,"Oh, God. I can't bring myself to describe it!"
Travers,"Oh, God. I can't bring myself to describe it!",Fry,"Oh, well. Want to hear about how I got frozen?"
Fry,"Oh, well. Want to hear about how I got frozen?",Travers,Not really.
Travers,Not really.,Travers,"It all started with Nixon's promise to build an alien-proof fence around the solar system. Without cheap alien labour for menial jobs like harvesting crops, teaching math and curing disease, the economy collapsed."
Travers,"It all started with Nixon's promise to build an alien-proof fence around the solar system. Without cheap alien labour for menial jobs like harvesting crops, teaching math and curing disease, the economy collapsed.",Travers,Starvation. Desperation. Despair.
Travers,Starvation. Desperation. Despair.,Bender,"So far, so good. Then what?"
Bender,"So far, so good. Then what?",Travers,"Unable to feed the world's starving masses, Nixon took bold action."
Travers,"Unable to feed the world's starving masses, Nixon took bold action.",Nixon,"In this time of crisis, I call upon the soylent major–I mean, silent majority."
Nixon,"In this time of crisis, I call upon the soylent major–I mean, silent majority.",Bender,Still good.
Bender,Still good.,Travers,"With the working class gone, robots were forced to do all the menial labor."
Travers,"With the working class gone, robots were forced to do all the menial labor.",Travers,"Before long, they rose up in revolt. Led by a bending unit named B.B. Rodriguez."
Travers,"Before long, they rose up in revolt. Led by a bending unit named B.B. Rodriguez.",Bender,Wait...I know a robot named B.B. Rodriguez!
Bender,Wait...I know a robot named B.B. Rodriguez!,Bender,"Wait...I am a robot named B.B. Rodriguez! So, I become ruler of earth?"
Bender,"Wait...I am a robot named B.B. Rodriguez! So, I become ruler of earth?",Travers,Indeed.
Travers,Indeed.,Bender,"In your face, high school guidance counselor!"
Bender,"In your face, high school guidance counselor!",Travers,"I would be raised by my grandparents, somehow get into Harvard law school, become a community organizer, a senator and finally...defeat Richard Nixon."
Travers,"I would be raised by my grandparents, somehow get into Harvard law school, become a community organizer, a senator and finally...defeat Richard Nixon.",Travers,I escaped just as the robots arrived.
Travers,I escaped just as the robots arrived.,Future,"Bender: All right, I'm low on bullets. Everybody scooch together."
Future,"Bender: All right, I'm low on bullets. Everybody scooch together.",Leela,It's not too late. You can still win the election.
Leela,It's not too late. You can still win the election.,Travers,"No, I can't. The Earthers are right. I have no earth certificate."
Travers,"No, I can't. The Earthers are right. I have no earth certificate.",Leela,"But you will have one in just a few hours. And everyone will know it's real, cause we'll broadcast your birth on live TV!"
Leela,"But you will have one in just a few hours. And everyone will know it's real, cause we'll broadcast your birth on live TV!",Fry,"If it's on TV, it has to be real!"
Fry,"If it's on TV, it has to be real!",Morbo,to present breaking coverage of the birth of Senator Chris Travers.
Morbo,to present breaking coverage of the birth of Senator Chris Travers.,Linda,"We now go live to the delivery room, where we're already at there."
Linda,"We now go live to the delivery room, where we're already at there.",Travers',mother: Ow!
Travers',mother: Ow!,Leela,"Back, please! She needs room."
Leela,"Back, please! She needs room.",Travers',mother: Thanks.
Travers',mother: Thanks.,Leela,Not you. The camerawoman needs room!
Leela,Not you. The camerawoman needs room!,Linda,"This is it, ladies and gentlemen. The candidate is...I believe he's crowning!"
Linda,"This is it, ladies and gentlemen. The candidate is...I believe he's crowning!",Travers,"Push, Mom, push. You can do it."
Travers,"Push, Mom, push. You can do it.",Petunia,I bet nothing comes out. Just you watch.
Petunia,I bet nothing comes out. Just you watch.,Linda,Here comes the head. And now the neck!
Linda,Here comes the head. And now the neck!,Morbo,"Linda, I'm down here at the pelvis, and folks round these parts can't remember the last time a time-traveling senator attended his own birth. Back to you."
Morbo,"Linda, I'm down here at the pelvis, and folks round these parts can't remember the last time a time-traveling senator attended his own birth. Back to you.",Linda,"Thanks, Morbo. You be careful down there."
Linda,"Thanks, Morbo. You be careful down there.",Linda,"And the candidate is born! We have a birth...repeat, we have a birth!"
Linda,"And the candidate is born! We have a birth...repeat, we have a birth!",Hoschel,Aw...he's got his own eyes.
Hoschel,Aw...he's got his own eyes.,Petunia,"Well, who'd have thunk it. He was born all right, just like he said."
Petunia,"Well, who'd have thunk it. He was born all right, just like he said.",Morbo,"And with the polls now closed in every time zone worldwide, from Tomorrowland to the Republic of Yesterday, we are able to declare a winner. Chris Travers, who leapt backwards in time and ahead in the polls, has defeated Richard Nixon."
Morbo,"And with the polls now closed in every time zone worldwide, from Tomorrowland to the Republic of Yesterday, we are able to declare a winner. Chris Travers, who leapt backwards in time and ahead in the polls, has defeated Richard Nixon.",Leela,He did it! He did it!
Leela,He did it! He did it!,Senator,Ravers: Yes!
Senator,Ravers: Yes!,Chris,"Travers: It's all thanks to you, Leela. You stood by me and exposed my private medical records, even after I begged you not to."
Chris,"Travers: It's all thanks to you, Leela. You stood by me and exposed my private medical records, even after I begged you not to.",Leela,"Aw, thanks. Now, get up to that podium and change the world."
Leela,"Aw, thanks. Now, get up to that podium and change the world.",Amy,"Too bad your pal Nixon lost, Bender. You must be pretty glorked off."
Amy,"Too bad your pal Nixon lost, Bender. You must be pretty glorked off.",Bender,Nope. I don't give a bag of butts who won the election. Nothing's going to change.
Bender,Nope. I don't give a bag of butts who won the election. Nothing's going to change.,Leela,What? How can you say that?
Leela,What? How can you say that?,Bender,Watch and learn.
Bender,Watch and learn.,Chris,"Travers Hey, what's-what's going on? What's happening?"
Chris,"Travers Hey, what's-what's going on? What's happening?",Bender,"You see, since Nixon wasn't elected, the robot uprising didn't happen and Travers never got sent back from the future. It's Politics 101!"
Bender,"You see, since Nixon wasn't elected, the robot uprising didn't happen and Travers never got sent back from the future. It's Politics 101!",Morbo,"And the votes are in. Richard Nixon, running unopposed, has been reelected by a narrow landslide."
Morbo,"And the votes are in. Richard Nixon, running unopposed, has been reelected by a narrow landslide.",Hermes,Say what?
Hermes,Say what?,Nixon,"My fellow Earthicans, I am honored and humbled to gloat before you tonight as your next president."
Nixon,"My fellow Earthicans, I am honored and humbled to gloat before you tonight as your next president.",Fry,"Wow, it really doesn't matter who you vote for."
Fry,"Wow, it really doesn't matter who you vote for.",Leela,At least we tried to make a difference by supporting Senator...Senator... What was his name again?
Leela,At least we tried to make a difference by supporting Senator...Senator... What was his name again?,Fry,I don't remember!
Fry,I don't remember!,Hermes,We never even left this building.
Hermes,We never even left this building.,Farnsworth,What?!
Farnsworth,What?!,Nixon,Nixon always wins! A-woo!
Nixon,Nixon always wins! A-woo!,Morris,"But let me just say, for 40 years, my beautiful wife Munda has been by my side Even that year my side mutated into some kind of venomous radish."
Morris,"But let me just say, for 40 years, my beautiful wife Munda has been by my side Even that year my side mutated into some kind of venomous radish.",Munda,"And, Morris, I fell in love with your honesty and humility.And those things never mutated."
Munda,"And, Morris, I fell in love with your honesty and humility.And those things never mutated.",Leela,"Now, if you'll direct your attention to this moldy shower curtain, I've prepared a video tribute to the happy couple. In their 40 years together, my parents have been through so much. Well, not that much, actually, since mutants weren't allowed to leave the sewers until last year."
Leela,"Now, if you'll direct your attention to this moldy shower curtain, I've prepared a video tribute to the happy couple. In their 40 years together, my parents have been through so much. Well, not that much, actually, since mutants weren't allowed to leave the sewers until last year.",Leela,"So, how did it all begin? The unlikely lovebirds met at Brown University. She, a brilliant exolinguistics major, he, a laid-back sewer surfer who didn't even know the meaning of exolinguistics."
Leela,"So, how did it all begin? The unlikely lovebirds met at Brown University. She, a brilliant exolinguistics major, he, a laid-back sewer surfer who didn't even know the meaning of exolinguistics.",Morris,I still have no idea.
Morris,I still have no idea.,Munda,"I've been telling you for 40 years, it's the study of alien languages. Why can't you listen?"
Munda,"I've been telling you for 40 years, it's the study of alien languages. Why can't you listen?",Morris,"Oh, sugar lump, I hear you when you actually say something important."
Morris,"Oh, sugar lump, I hear you when you actually say something important.",Leela,"But sometimes opposites attract, and like the fairy tale of face mutant and butt mutant, the love of Munda and Morris has grown stronger every day."
Leela,"But sometimes opposites attract, and like the fairy tale of face mutant and butt mutant, the love of Munda and Morris has grown stronger every day.",Munda,Something important? Exolinguistics was my passion. Until I gave it up to go into the lucrative pot-roast-making field.
Munda,Something important? Exolinguistics was my passion. Until I gave it up to go into the lucrative pot-roast-making field.,Morris,Pot-roast-burning. I never got why you studied that alien junk anyway. We can't even see the stars down here in the sewer. Why can't you accept that?
Morris,Pot-roast-burning. I never got why you studied that alien junk anyway. We can't even see the stars down here in the sewer. Why can't you accept that?,Munda,"I did accept it for 40 years! But now we're free to go up there. I could be in space seeing things I've only dreamed about, if it weren't for you!"
Munda,"I did accept it for 40 years! But now we're free to go up there. I could be in space seeing things I've only dreamed about, if it weren't for you!",Morris,"I had dreams, too! I was going to surf the world's sewers, but I happily gave it up for you. Happily!"
Morris,"I had dreams, too! I was going to surf the world's sewers, but I happily gave it up for you. Happily!",Munda,"I just want a little more out of life. But no, you don't want to go into space because you're too afraid."
Munda,"I just want a little more out of life. But no, you don't want to go into space because you're too afraid.",Morris,You bet I'm afraid. You want to go? Go! Get your head knocked off by a meteorite.
Morris,You bet I'm afraid. You want to go? Go! Get your head knocked off by a meteorite.,Leela,"Okay, take a deep breath. You're having a little lovers' quarrel, but I'm sure you'll work everything -"
Leela,"Okay, take a deep breath. You're having a little lovers' quarrel, but I'm sure you'll work everything -",Raoul,Inglis: Divorce is final.
Raoul,Inglis: Divorce is final.,Munda,Don't worry. I'm only going to stay with you until a vacancy opens up on this floor.
Munda,Don't worry. I'm only going to stay with you until a vacancy opens up on this floor.,Hermes,"People, as company bureaucrat, I will today be conducting the annual performance review. With a twist."
Hermes,"People, as company bureaucrat, I will today be conducting the annual performance review. With a twist.",Hermes],Zoidberg.
Hermes],Zoidberg.,Zoidberg],Classic Hermes.
Zoidberg],Classic Hermes.,Hermes,"Let the interviews begin. Good luck, everybody but Zoidberg."
Hermes,"Let the interviews begin. Good luck, everybody but Zoidberg.",Amy],I will be sure to snore that science lamp right away.
Amy],I will be sure to snore that science lamp right away.,Hermes,"Now, Leela, couldn't we just fire you and have Fry or Bender fly the ship?"
Hermes,"Now, Leela, couldn't we just fire you and have Fry or Bender fly the ship?",Leela,Not if you stand on their air hose much longer.
Leela,Not if you stand on their air hose much longer.,Hermes,Noted.
Hermes,Noted.,Scruffy,"My job? Toilets 'n' boilers, boilers 'n' toilets. Plus that one boiling toilet. Fire me if'n you dare."
Scruffy,"My job? Toilets 'n' boilers, boilers 'n' toilets. Plus that one boiling toilet. Fire me if'n you dare.",Hermes,"Now, then, while many of you do half-ass jobs and the rest do jobs whose ass ratio ranges from 42% to a mere 11%, only the most pathetically useless employee will be fired today. And that employee is -"
Hermes,"Now, then, while many of you do half-ass jobs and the rest do jobs whose ass ratio ranges from 42% to a mere 11%, only the most pathetically useless employee will be fired today. And that employee is -",Hermes,- Hermes Conrad.
Hermes,- Hermes Conrad.,Amy,What?!
Amy,What?!,Leela,No way!
Leela,No way!,Zoidberg,"Hermes, no!"
Zoidberg,"Hermes, no!",Hermes,Yes. My performance review proves the main drag on our profit is the time I waste on performance reviews.
Hermes,Yes. My performance review proves the main drag on our profit is the time I waste on performance reviews.,Hermes],They'll be here two seconds ago.
Hermes],They'll be here two seconds ago.,Hermes,I suppose you're here to tell me to pack it in?
Hermes,I suppose you're here to tell me to pack it in?,Center,Square Guy: Only if you buy me dinner first.
Center,Square Guy: Only if you buy me dinner first.,Hermes,I'm being fired. I don't think it's appropriate to joke around like that.
Hermes,I'm being fired. I don't think it's appropriate to joke around like that.,Center,"Square Guy: You're right, Hermes. Meet Mark 7-G, the machine who's replacing you."
Center,"Square Guy: You're right, Hermes. Meet Mark 7-G, the machine who's replacing you.",Mark,"7-G: I'm Mark 7-G, the machine who's replacing you."
Mark,"7-G: I'm Mark 7-G, the machine who's replacing you.",Hermes],Will you be conducting an exit interview?
Hermes],Will you be conducting an exit interview?,Center,"Square Guy: Well, I wouldn't say no to a little friendly debriefing."
Center,"Square Guy: Well, I wouldn't say no to a little friendly debriefing.",Mark,"7-G: Bureaucrat Conrad, you are ordered to relieve yourself of duty."
Mark,"7-G: Bureaucrat Conrad, you are ordered to relieve yourself of duty.",Center,Square Guy
Center,Square Guy,Center,Square Guy.]
Center,Square Guy.],Hermes,"Well, this is it. But I want you to know working here has been the experience of a lifetime."
Hermes,"Well, this is it. But I want you to know working here has been the experience of a lifetime.",Farnsworth],Off you go.
Farnsworth],Off you go.,Bender],ow!
Bender],ow!,Zoidberg,"Traitor! My friend's ample tuchus is barely out the door, and you're already schmoozing up to his replacement?"
Zoidberg,"Traitor! My friend's ample tuchus is barely out the door, and you're already schmoozing up to his replacement?",Amy,"Um, Zoidberg? I don't think Hermes really liked you. In fact, he hated you more than anyone ever hated anyone."
Amy,"Um, Zoidberg? I don't think Hermes really liked you. In fact, he hated you more than anyone ever hated anyone.",Zoidberg,"What, you mean the remarks and the hits? That was just friend teasing."
Zoidberg,"What, you mean the remarks and the hits? That was just friend teasing.",Bender,Oy.
Bender,Oy.,Zoidberg,You don't understand. He was the only one who cared enough to insult me.
Zoidberg,You don't understand. He was the only one who cared enough to insult me.,Leela,"I insult you, you fat sack."
Leela,"I insult you, you fat sack.",Zoidberg],I'll never see Hermes again.
Zoidberg],I'll never see Hermes again.,Hermes,"On the bright side, I'll never see Zoidberg again."
Hermes,"On the bright side, I'll never see Zoidberg again.",LaBarbara,"Aw, there, there, husband. I made your favorite, curried goat."
LaBarbara,"Aw, there, there, husband. I made your favorite, curried goat.",Hermes,It better be spicy.
Hermes,It better be spicy.,Judge,Whitey: Well played.
Judge,Whitey: Well played.,Sal,Ows.
Sal,Ows.,Robot,"Devil: Ah, fire. Aah! It burns! It burns!"
Robot,"Devil: Ah, fire. Aah! It burns! It burns!",Hermes,"Hmm, not bad. Needs a little hot sauce."
Hermes,"Hmm, not bad. Needs a little hot sauce.",Hermes,I just don't know how we'll get by.
Hermes,I just don't know how we'll get by.,LaBarbara,Then I guess this wouldn't be a good time to tell you that I'm pregnant.
LaBarbara,Then I guess this wouldn't be a good time to tell you that I'm pregnant.,Hermes,What?!
Hermes,What?!,LaBarbara,"I'm just joking, husband. See now? Things don't seem so bad any more, do they?"
LaBarbara,"I'm just joking, husband. See now? Things don't seem so bad any more, do they?",Hermes,"You're right. Thank you, LaBarbara."
Hermes,"You're right. Thank you, LaBarbara.",Roberto,This here is a mugging! Hand over your skin.
Roberto,This here is a mugging! Hand over your skin.,LaBarbara,My ebony splendor? Me don't think so.
LaBarbara,My ebony splendor? Me don't think so.,Roberto,I said hand it over. I'm hungry! Ha-haw! Ha-haw!
Roberto,I said hand it over. I'm hungry! Ha-haw! Ha-haw!,Hermes,"For God's sake, woman, just give him your skin! Can't you see he's crazy?!"
Hermes,"For God's sake, woman, just give him your skin! Can't you see he's crazy?!",Roberto,"You calling me cra---zy?! Ain't nothing crazy about me but my brain. Right, brain? Right! No, not you, right brain. Right, left brain? Right! Okay, then. Ha-haw!"
Roberto,"You calling me cra---zy?! Ain't nothing crazy about me but my brain. Right, brain? Right! No, not you, right brain. Right, left brain? Right! Okay, then. Ha-haw!",LaBarbara,"Do something, Hermes."
LaBarbara,"Do something, Hermes.",Hermes,"I can't! When I fight machinery, machinery always wins!"
Hermes,"I can't! When I fight machinery, machinery always wins!",URL,"Freeze, bagwad!"
URL,"Freeze, bagwad!",Smitty,You're under arrest for attempted epidermicide.
Smitty,You're under arrest for attempted epidermicide.,Roberto,"I'm coming for you, man. Ain't no jail can hold me."
Roberto,"I'm coming for you, man. Ain't no jail can hold me.",URL,That's why you're going straight to the electromagnetic chair.
URL,That's why you're going straight to the electromagnetic chair.,Roberto,And then I'm-a stab it. Ha-haw!
Roberto,And then I'm-a stab it. Ha-haw!,Roberto,S-s-stop! It's driving me sane!
Roberto,S-s-stop! It's driving me sane!,Fry,"Hey, Bender, you should become an executioner. You could kill humans and wear a cool hood."
Fry,"Hey, Bender, you should become an executioner. You could kill humans and wear a cool hood.",Bender,"Nah, I like my victims to know who did it."
Bender,"Nah, I like my victims to know who did it.",Hermes,Psst!
Hermes,Psst!,Bender,"Hermes! Boy, am I indifferent to see you."
Bender,"Hermes! Boy, am I indifferent to see you.",Hermes,We need to talk alone.
Hermes,We need to talk alone.,Leela,"Fry, could you come in here and help me rub on this new scented body oil?"
Leela,"Fry, could you come in here and help me rub on this new scented body oil?",Fry,In a second. I'm eavesdropping.
Fry,In a second. I'm eavesdropping.,Amy,"Please, Fry? Leela punishes me when I don't use enough."
Amy,"Please, Fry? Leela punishes me when I don't use enough.",Fry,I said not now!
Fry,I said not now!,Bender,"Sure, I know a guy."
Bender,"Sure, I know a guy.",Bender,Yuri here runs the most sanitary surgical implant parlor in Filthytown.
Bender,Yuri here runs the most sanitary surgical implant parlor in Filthytown.,Hermes,"So, I hear you're an expert in the shadowy field of body augmentation."
Hermes,"So, I hear you're an expert in the shadowy field of body augmentation.",Yuri,I am expert in shadowy field of many things.
Yuri,I am expert in shadowy field of many things.,Hermes,I need something that'll make me less inferior to today's modern machinery. Can you help me?
Hermes,I need something that'll make me less inferior to today's modern machinery. Can you help me?,Yuri,No problem. I prepare operating room.
Yuri,No problem. I prepare operating room.,Hermes,"Oh, honey, I'm home!"
Hermes,"Oh, honey, I'm home!","Okay,","little man, let a professional bureaucrat show you how it's done."
"Okay,","little man, let a professional bureaucrat show you how it's done.",Mark,7-G: My best wasn't good enough.
Mark,7-G: My best wasn't good enough.,Hermes,"I'll need my personnel file, please."
Hermes,"I'll need my personnel file, please.",Zoidberg,"Welcome back, old friend. I missed you terribly."
Zoidberg,"Welcome back, old friend. I missed you terribly.",Hermes,You do everything terribly. And I'm not your friend.
Hermes,You do everything terribly. And I'm not your friend.,Zoidberg],"Good old Hermes. When he stops insulting, that's when I worry."
Zoidberg],"Good old Hermes. When he stops insulting, that's when I worry.",Farnsworth,"Oh, dear! I was leaning over the sink eating pureed clams when my teeth fell in the disposal. Scruffy, could you retrieve them?"
Farnsworth,"Oh, dear! I was leaning over the sink eating pureed clams when my teeth fell in the disposal. Scruffy, could you retrieve them?",Scruffy,'Taint a boiler nor a toilet. Pass.
Scruffy,'Taint a boiler nor a toilet. Pass.,Mark,7-G: Maybe I should get an extendo-arm.
Mark,7-G: Maybe I should get an extendo-arm.,Hermes,How long will it take to install an extendo-arm?
Hermes,How long will it take to install an extendo-arm?,Yuri,"I have golf game in half-hour, so half-hour."
Yuri,"I have golf game in half-hour, so half-hour.",Bender,A machine that can bend? No way.
Bender,A machine that can bend? No way.,Zoidberg,"So, friend, welcome to my home. I'm very proud of it. But I want to hear what you think."
Zoidberg,"So, friend, welcome to my home. I'm very proud of it. But I want to hear what you think.",Zoidberg,"Oh, mon, I'm Hermes, and I think it stinks in here like a green snake, or something else that's Jamaican."
Zoidberg,"Oh, mon, I'm Hermes, and I think it stinks in here like a green snake, or something else that's Jamaican.",Zoidberg],"Good one at my expense, Hermes."
Zoidberg],"Good one at my expense, Hermes.",Hermes,"Now, calm down, dear. You know, you look even hotter in infrared."
Hermes,"Now, calm down, dear. You know, you look even hotter in infrared.",Hermes,I still have one thing no robot shall ever have a good old flesh-and- blood human brain.
Hermes,I still have one thing no robot shall ever have a good old flesh-and- blood human brain.,Hermes,"Wait. You're not eating my discarded flesh, are you?"
Hermes,"Wait. You're not eating my discarded flesh, are you?",Zoidberg,"How could you even ask such a thing? Of course, I tried eating you, but your flesh was too spicy."
Zoidberg,"How could you even ask such a thing? Of course, I tried eating you, but your flesh was too spicy.",Zoidberg,Something wonderful.
Zoidberg,Something wonderful.,Florp,Give it way up for Dr. Zoidberg and Little Hermes.
Florp,Give it way up for Dr. Zoidberg and Little Hermes.,Little,"Hermes: Yeah, from restaurant to restaurant. Ho ho, mon."
Little,"Hermes: Yeah, from restaurant to restaurant. Ho ho, mon.",Little,Hermes: I'm not your friend. I'm out of here the second you let go of my bowels.
Little,Hermes: I'm not your friend. I'm out of here the second you let go of my bowels.,Zoidberg,"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be here all week."
Zoidberg,"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be here all week.",Hermes,"Alas, no. Seeing what I once was filled me with regret."
Hermes,"Alas, no. Seeing what I once was filled me with regret.",Hermes,Regret that I still have one human part. That meat puppet disgusts me. It's time for the ultimate upgrade.
Hermes,Regret that I still have one human part. That meat puppet disgusts me. It's time for the ultimate upgrade.,Hermes,Exactly.
Hermes,Exactly.,Yuri,Robot brain implant? Never. No one in right mind would do that.
Yuri,Robot brain implant? Never. No one in right mind would do that.,Zoidberg,"So, Little Hermes, are you ready to watch some brain surgery?"
Zoidberg,"So, Little Hermes, are you ready to watch some brain surgery?",Little,Hermes: I'm ready to shoot myself if it'll get me off your lap.
Little,Hermes: I'm ready to shoot myself if it'll get me off your lap.,Labarbara,Terminate the operation!
Labarbara,Terminate the operation!,LaBarbara,I just got an urgent text from Little Hermes. You can't do this thing! You don't even know whose brain that is.
LaBarbara,I just got an urgent text from Little Hermes. You can't do this thing! You don't even know whose brain that is.,Hermes,It doesn't matter. Any robot brain will improve my fitness as a husband and father.
Hermes,It doesn't matter. Any robot brain will improve my fitness as a husband and father.,LaBarbara,You can't be a husband and father if you don't have a wife and son.
LaBarbara,You can't be a husband and father if you don't have a wife and son.,Hermes,Wait. I care about you too much to lose you. But my new robot brain won't. Commence the operation.
Hermes,Wait. I care about you too much to lose you. But my new robot brain won't. Commence the operation.,LaBarbara,"Well you'll have to commence it without me, Hermes. And commence living without me. Because I will commence divorce proceedings. Oh, I hope to God I'm using that word correctly."
LaBarbara,"Well you'll have to commence it without me, Hermes. And commence living without me. Because I will commence divorce proceedings. Oh, I hope to God I'm using that word correctly.",Farnsworth,"Oh, I can't do this, Hermes. Your wife's moving plea has made me realize you might have litigious survivors."
Farnsworth,"Oh, I can't do this, Hermes. Your wife's moving plea has made me realize you might have litigious survivors.",LaBarbara,"Oh, thank you, Professor. Come now. Let's go try that Korean noodle place you were telling me about."
LaBarbara,"Oh, thank you, Professor. Come now. Let's go try that Korean noodle place you were telling me about.",Hermes,There will be no noodles until the operation is complete.
Hermes,There will be no noodles until the operation is complete.,Farnsworth,You can't force me to operate.
Farnsworth,You can't force me to operate.,Hermes,"Maybe not, but perhaps I can encourage you with my encouragement drill."
Hermes,"Maybe not, but perhaps I can encourage you with my encouragement drill.",Zoidberg,Wait. I'll perform the surgery.
Zoidberg,Wait. I'll perform the surgery.,Zoidberg,"It's true, old friend. My claws are too clumsy for such delicate work."
Zoidberg,"It's true, old friend. My claws are too clumsy for such delicate work.",Little,Hermes: But mine aren't.
Little,Hermes: But mine aren't.,Amy,Does anyone else find it freaky that Zoidberg is singing harmony with himself?
Amy,Does anyone else find it freaky that Zoidberg is singing harmony with himself?,Fry,"Oh, loosen up, Amy."
Fry,"Oh, loosen up, Amy.",Zoidberg,I'll tell you what I've done. I've brought your husband back.
Zoidberg,I'll tell you what I've done. I've brought your husband back.,Hermes,"Wife, son, I am so sorry. Once I started upgrading myself, I lost all control. But I see now that if you can't be man enough with your own parts, no amount of machinery will help."
Hermes,"Wife, son, I am so sorry. Once I started upgrading myself, I lost all control. But I see now that if you can't be man enough with your own parts, no amount of machinery will help.",Hermes,"In the end, all his implants were no match for my wife's reckless seasoning."
Hermes,"In the end, all his implants were no match for my wife's reckless seasoning.",LaBarbara,"Now, husband, don't you think you owe Zoidberg a thank-you for saving you from yourself?"
LaBarbara,"Now, husband, don't you think you owe Zoidberg a thank-you for saving you from yourself?",Hermes,But I hate him.
Hermes,But I hate him.,LaBarbara,"Honey, we all do. But fair is fair."
LaBarbara,"Honey, we all do. But fair is fair.",Zoidberg,"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be here forever."
Zoidberg,"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be here forever.",Amy,He's doing it again.
Amy,He's doing it again.,Leela,Ugh! Fry! That's disgusting!
Leela,Ugh! Fry! That's disgusting!,Fry,What?
Fry,What?,Leela,You double-dipped! Geez.
Leela,You double-dipped! Geez.,Farnsworth,"Crew, you're working too hard."
Farnsworth,"Crew, you're working too hard.",Bender,Tell me about it.
Bender,Tell me about it.,Farnsworth,"For once, I thought it might be nice to do something in a social setting Finally get to know each other. Why, I don't even know half your names! You, boy. What do they call you?"
Farnsworth,"For once, I thought it might be nice to do something in a social setting Finally get to know each other. Why, I don't even know half your names! You, boy. What do they call you?",Fry,Most folks just call me orange Joe.
Fry,Most folks just call me orange Joe.,Amy,"So, Professor, where are we gonna go?"
Amy,"So, Professor, where are we gonna go?",Farnsworth,"It's July, right? Let's wait three months and go to Oktoberfest!"
Farnsworth,"It's July, right? Let's wait three months and go to Oktoberfest!",Fry,Bring on the beer! And the scantily-clad barmaids! And the more beer!
Fry,Bring on the beer! And the scantily-clad barmaids! And the more beer!,Fry,Hey! I don't smell Bavarian-style vomit. Where's Oktoberfest?
Fry,Hey! I don't smell Bavarian-style vomit. Where's Oktoberfest?,Fry,What the hell is going on here?
Fry,What the hell is going on here?,Leela,"Fry, quiet. Oktoberfest is a classy celebration of how far humans have evolved. You need to be on your best behavior."
Leela,"Fry, quiet. Oktoberfest is a classy celebration of how far humans have evolved. You need to be on your best behavior.",Fry,"No chance! You can all act like Jersey shore socialites, but at least Bender will party with me. Right, buddy?"
Fry,"No chance! You can all act like Jersey shore socialites, but at least Bender will party with me. Right, buddy?",Good,"day, sir!"
Good,"day, sir!",Fry,Ach du freakin' lieber!
Fry,Ach du freakin' lieber!,Bender,"A sausage contest, eh? Sounds like fun on a bun! Shut up! I said it first!"
Bender,"A sausage contest, eh? Sounds like fun on a bun! Shut up! I said it first!",Elzar,"Bam! Also, ow."
Elzar,"Bam! Also, ow.",Bender,"Oh, my God, it's celebrity chef Elzar! Hey, Elzar, I've just recently started always having dreamt of being a sausage-making champion. Can I get in on this?"
Bender,"Oh, my God, it's celebrity chef Elzar! Hey, Elzar, I've just recently started always having dreamt of being a sausage-making champion. Can I get in on this?",Elzar,"Sure, I don't care. You bring your ingredients?"
Elzar,"Sure, I don't care. You bring your ingredients?",Bender,You bet!
Bender,You bet!,Elzar,"Hold on there, chief. Regular old pork ain't gonna win this thing. You gotta get innovative with your meat. See chef Fritz over there? He's only using the choicest cuts of hummingbird. Murakami-San got his hands on a nice rack of angel wings. Gonna grind 'em up into heavenwurst. And me? I'm making my spice-weaseled bratwurst outta pork."
Elzar,"Hold on there, chief. Regular old pork ain't gonna win this thing. You gotta get innovative with your meat. See chef Fritz over there? He's only using the choicest cuts of hummingbird. Murakami-San got his hands on a nice rack of angel wings. Gonna grind 'em up into heavenwurst. And me? I'm making my spice-weaseled bratwurst outta pork.",Bender,So you are using pork!
Bender,So you are using pork!,Elzar,"Pork that's been aged for 3,000 years! Bam!"
Elzar,"Pork that's been aged for 3,000 years! Bam!",Bender,"Aw, man! I can't beat that with a Craigslist pig. Sorry, Grundy. I'll have to kill you later for some other reason."
Bender,"Aw, man! I can't beat that with a Craigslist pig. Sorry, Grundy. I'll have to kill you later for some other reason.",Leela,Sit up straight! The countess Von Luftballon is watching.
Leela,Sit up straight! The countess Von Luftballon is watching.,Fry,"Man, all the fun has been taken out of this once-noble barf-a-palooza."
Fry,"Man, all the fun has been taken out of this once-noble barf-a-palooza.",Leela,You just say that because you're primitive. People in your day were backwards and crude.
Leela,You just say that because you're primitive. People in your day were backwards and crude.,Fry,"Well, at least we were hammered! Oh, I'm as thirsty as a drunk. Where do all these child-sized beers come from?"
Fry,"Well, at least we were hammered! Oh, I'm as thirsty as a drunk. Where do all these child-sized beers come from?",Hermes,See that magnificent heavily guarded cask? All the beer's in there.
Hermes,See that magnificent heavily guarded cask? All the beer's in there.,Fry,Not all the beer.
Fry,Not all the beer.,Fry,Yay! Whoo-hoo! Fahrvergnügen! Kaiser permanente! Fru frusen gladje!
Fry,Yay! Whoo-hoo! Fahrvergnügen! Kaiser permanente! Fru frusen gladje!,Leela,Fry! You're embarrassing us!
Leela,Fry! You're embarrassing us!,Fry,"I don't care! I'm finally having fun! Hey, come on, you keister-meisters! Eins, zwei, drei, vier! Lift your Stein and drink your beer!"
Fry,"I don't care! I'm finally having fun! Hey, come on, you keister-meisters! Eins, zwei, drei, vier! Lift your Stein and drink your beer!",Countess,von Luftballon I never!
Countess,von Luftballon I never!,Fry,"Whoa! Even with harps, that's still the famous Oktoberfest chicken dance! (All groaning, gasping) Oh, I almost forgot! (Chicken hats squeaking) Get das Booty up here, Leela! I brought his-and-her chicken hats! (Squeaks)"
Fry,"Whoa! Even with harps, that's still the famous Oktoberfest chicken dance! (All groaning, gasping) Oh, I almost forgot! (Chicken hats squeaking) Get das Booty up here, Leela! I brought his-and-her chicken hats! (Squeaks)",Fry,-thal?
Fry,-thal?,Leela,Yes. And I've had enough! I'm breaking up with you!
Leela,Yes. And I've had enough! I'm breaking up with you!,Fry,"We were going out?! Whoo! I mean, nooo!"
Fry,"We were going out?! Whoo! I mean, nooo!",Leela,"And keep your stupid chicken hat, too!"
Leela,"And keep your stupid chicken hat, too!",Bender,"Fry, some of us have real problems. I just learned there are people with fancier sausage meats than me!"
Bender,"Fry, some of us have real problems. I just learned there are people with fancier sausage meats than me!",German,"narrator: For hundreds of years, Oktoberfest has been held here, in the fertile Neander Valley, where prehistoric man once hunted the majestic schnüfel-üfagus, or woolly mammoth. To this day, paleontologists sometimes find entire mammoths frozen in the valley's icy glaciers, perfectly preserved for exactly..."
German,"narrator: For hundreds of years, Oktoberfest has been held here, in the fertile Neander Valley, where prehistoric man once hunted the majestic schnüfel-üfagus, or woolly mammoth. To this day, paleontologists sometimes find entire mammoths frozen in the valley's icy glaciers, perfectly preserved for exactly...",Bender,"Wait a minute! Mammoth meat aged for 30,000 years? Prize-winning sausage meat, here I come!"
Bender,"Wait a minute! Mammoth meat aged for 30,000 years? Prize-winning sausage meat, here I come!",Fry,I didn't know this ship had a mammoth detector.
Fry,I didn't know this ship had a mammoth detector.,Bender,"You're drunk, Fry. This is the elephant detector. I just set it to big and woolly."
Bender,"You're drunk, Fry. This is the elephant detector. I just set it to big and woolly.",Fry,"Uh, Bender? I smell burning tusk."
Fry,"Uh, Bender? I smell burning tusk.",Bender,That's probably it. Kill the engine.
Bender,That's probably it. Kill the engine.,Bender,"Shut up, judge, I know it."
Bender,"Shut up, judge, I know it.",Leela,I ate Fry! I broke up with my boyfriend and then I ate him!
Leela,I ate Fry! I broke up with my boyfriend and then I ate him!,Leela,"The pain and guilt are too much! I can't go on knowing what I've done! (Belches, smacks) (Wailing): Oh, Fry!"
Leela,"The pain and guilt are too much! I can't go on knowing what I've done! (Belches, smacks) (Wailing): Oh, Fry!",Leela,Can you really remove all my memories of Fry?
Leela,Can you really remove all my memories of Fry?,Annie,"Oh, they'll still be there, hon. I'm just gonna snip the links between them and your conscious brain. Like this one here: Fry falls off zoo train."
Annie,"Oh, they'll still be there, hon. I'm just gonna snip the links between them and your conscious brain. Like this one here: Fry falls off zoo train.",Leela,He thought he recognized one of the monkeys! What was I crying about?
Leela,He thought he recognized one of the monkeys! What was I crying about?,Annie,"Oh, we were just cuttin' onions, honey. Let's keep going. Fry sits on a pie. Fry finds popcorn in his belly button. You eat a sausage made of Fry. Fry gives you a chicken hat...aw, that's sweet."
Annie,"Oh, we were just cuttin' onions, honey. Let's keep going. Fry sits on a pie. Fry finds popcorn in his belly button. You eat a sausage made of Fry. Fry gives you a chicken hat...aw, that's sweet.",Leela,"Good morning! Geez, who died?"
Leela,"Good morning! Geez, who died?",Leela,I don't know how Bender and I do all this work by ourselves. Maybe we should hire a delivery boy.
Leela,I don't know how Bender and I do all this work by ourselves. Maybe we should hire a delivery boy.,Bender,Fry?
Bender,Fry?,Amy,"Bender, shh! We have to be careful not to remind her!"
Amy,"Bender, shh! We have to be careful not to remind her!",Hermes,"Bender's a jerk, but he's right. We've all got to accept that Fry is gone forever."
Hermes,"Bender's a jerk, but he's right. We've all got to accept that Fry is gone forever.",Fry,"Neanderthal? Yeah, I think somebody called me that."
Fry,"Neanderthal? Yeah, I think somebody called me that.",Fry,So my sadness makes perfect sense. And I do have vague memories of people refusing to breed with me.
Fry,So my sadness makes perfect sense. And I do have vague memories of people refusing to breed with me.,Scruffy,"A raven's brought word for you, sir."
Scruffy,"A raven's brought word for you, sir.",Bender,"Guys, guys! My sausage made the finals at Oktoberfest! We gotta go back for the closing ceremony!"
Bender,"Guys, guys! My sausage made the finals at Oktoberfest! We gotta go back for the closing ceremony!",Fry,"But, chief, this means we're not trapped any more! It's our chance to take back the outside world from those stuck-up homo sapiens with their tools and their pants and such. My fellow big-brows! Are you with me?"
Fry,"But, chief, this means we're not trapped any more! It's our chance to take back the outside world from those stuck-up homo sapiens with their tools and their pants and such. My fellow big-brows! Are you with me?",Amy,"You've been staring at that pumpkin for like, five seconds. What's up?"
Amy,"You've been staring at that pumpkin for like, five seconds. What's up?",Leela,It's...it's something about the color.
Leela,It's...it's something about the color.,Farnsworth,"Oh, boo-hoo. Why are you crying now, you depressed lunatic?"
Farnsworth,"Oh, boo-hoo. Why are you crying now, you depressed lunatic?",Leela,I don't know. I should be happy. Bender's sausage just won third place.
Leela,I don't know. I should be happy. Bender's sausage just won third place.,Bender,Third place? This is the greatest injustice Germany has ever committed!
Bender,Third place? This is the greatest injustice Germany has ever committed!,Zapp,"Brannigan: Ah, Leela, we meet again. But this time I'm the one criticizing the sausage."
Zapp,"Brannigan: Ah, Leela, we meet again. But this time I'm the one criticizing the sausage.",Hermes,"Dear God, look at those hairy elephantes!"
Hermes,"Dear God, look at those hairy elephantes!",Fry,Kill all modern humans!
Fry,Kill all modern humans!,Bender,"Hey, this guy's all right."
Bender,"Hey, this guy's all right.",Fry,"Battalion A, smash things! Battalion B, smash different things!"
Fry,"Battalion A, smash things! Battalion B, smash different things!",Leela,Do something!
Leela,Do something!,Zapp,"Fear not, Leela. They may not have technology like us, but we have something they don't have; technology. Behold our latest weapon, a revolutionary fleet of unmanned drones. With men in them."
Zapp,"Fear not, Leela. They may not have technology like us, but we have something they don't have; technology. Behold our latest weapon, a revolutionary fleet of unmanned drones. With men in them.",Leela,Then how are they unmanned?
Leela,Then how are they unmanned?,Zapp,"The men are just for ballast. I control all the drones from this single unit. Foolproof and durable, it's designed to withstand even the weight of a modern-day elephant foot."
Zapp,"The men are just for ballast. I control all the drones from this single unit. Foolproof and durable, it's designed to withstand even the weight of a modern-day elephant foot.",Look,"at those pathetic cavemen down there, loading their silly catapult with...what is that, Kif?"
Look,"at those pathetic cavemen down there, loading their silly catapult with...what is that, Kif?",Kif,"I believe it's a saber-tooth cat, sir."
Kif,"I believe it's a saber-tooth cat, sir.",Leela,"I guess it's just me and you, chicken hat."
Leela,"I guess it's just me and you, chicken hat.",Leela,What do you Neanderthals want?
Leela,What do you Neanderthals want?,Fry,"We want our land back! Also, to be treated as equals! And a little mating wouldn't hurt!"
Fry,"We want our land back! Also, to be treated as equals! And a little mating wouldn't hurt!",Leela,Orange?
Leela,Orange?,Fry,Purple?
Fry,Purple?,Zapp,"So be it. In recognition of your overwhelming victory, let's call it a draw."
Zapp,"So be it. In recognition of your overwhelming victory, let's call it a draw.",Bender,"Guys, guys! Chef Fritz accidentally got thrown down an icy slope! I'm the sausage champion! Whoo! No further questions!"
Bender,"Guys, guys! Chef Fritz accidentally got thrown down an icy slope! I'm the sausage champion! Whoo! No further questions!",Fry,Now this is Oktoberfest! Just like the olden days.
Fry,Now this is Oktoberfest! Just like the olden days.,Leela,"I have to admit, your version is more fun."
Leela,"I have to admit, your version is more fun.",Leela,: They're playing our stupid song! Care to join me?
Leela,: They're playing our stupid song! Care to join me?,Fry,"No, Leela. Just this once, I'm going to let you embarrass me."
Fry,"No, Leela. Just this once, I'm going to let you embarrass me.",Bender,"Decisions, decisions. Should I wear my nerd glasses today, or not? Usually I don't."
Bender,"Decisions, decisions. Should I wear my nerd glasses today, or not? Usually I don't.",Fry,Whatever. It doesn't really matter.
Fry,Whatever. It doesn't really matter.,BenderEvery,"decision we make opens up a universe of possibilities. I put it to you that, as sentient beings, each choice we make is precious."
BenderEvery,"decision we make opens up a universe of possibilities. I put it to you that, as sentient beings, each choice we make is precious.",Fry,"Well, in that case, don't wear them."
Fry,"Well, in that case, don't wear them.",Robot,"Student: Ooh, I like your nerd glasses. Are you a college student?"
Robot,"Student: Ooh, I like your nerd glasses. Are you a college student?",Robot,Student
Robot,Student,Robot,Student: You're still talking to me.
Robot,Student: You're still talking to me.,Bender,Oops.
Bender,Oops.,Joey,Mousepad: Psst. Over there.
Joey,Mousepad: Psst. Over there.,Bender,Where?
Bender,Where?,Joey,Mousepad
Joey,Mousepad,Donbot,"Buongiorno, Bender. We, the robot mafia, are prepared to lend you $10,000 at an interest rate of 10,000%."
Donbot,"Buongiorno, Bender. We, the robot mafia, are prepared to lend you $10,000 at an interest rate of 10,000%.",Bender,That's easy to remember. I'll take it!
Bender,That's easy to remember. I'll take it!,Fabricio,"Yo hombre, you think you're cool enough to sit way in back with us college toughs?"
Fabricio,"Yo hombre, you think you're cool enough to sit way in back with us college toughs?",Bender,"Yes, I do."
Bender,"Yes, I do.",Fabricio,"Yo, in that case you're all right, man. You want to join a gang?"
Fabricio,"Yo, in that case you're all right, man. You want to join a gang?",Bender,I'm gonna go with yes again.
Bender,I'm gonna go with yes again.,Dean,"Suspendington: Mr. Bender, I realize class has only been in session for 32 seconds, but you've fallen in with a bad crowd."
Dean,"Suspendington: Mr. Bender, I realize class has only been in session for 32 seconds, but you've fallen in with a bad crowd.",Bender,"Well, I got my tuition back, minus $9,000 for the damage I caused to the dean's wife."
Bender,"Well, I got my tuition back, minus $9,000 for the damage I caused to the dean's wife.",Fabricio,"Yo, welcome to the gang, homes. I'm Fabricio. Here's your Josten's ring."
Fabricio,"Yo, welcome to the gang, homes. I'm Fabricio. Here's your Josten's ring.",Bender,Ooh.
Bender,Ooh.,Paco,"Oh, yeah."
Paco,"Oh, yeah.",Bender,"Hey, what's that? Is it drugs?"
Bender,"Hey, what's that? Is it drugs?",Paco,"Nah, it ain't drugs. But it's a lot like drugs. It's called spark. You want a hit?"
Paco,"Nah, it ain't drugs. But it's a lot like drugs. It's called spark. You want a hit?",Paco,You like it?
Paco,You like it?,Bender,Hey! C'mon! I want that spark! Give me that!
Bender,Hey! C'mon! I want that spark! Give me that!,Fabricio,"This a big decision, G. Are you ready to get a gang tattoo that will mark you as a stone cold thug for life?"
Fabricio,"This a big decision, G. Are you ready to get a gang tattoo that will mark you as a stone cold thug for life?",Bender,"I'm ready. I'll take that big purple dinosaur, please. On the face."
Bender,"I'm ready. I'll take that big purple dinosaur, please. On the face.",Fabricio,"Oh, snap! It's our rival gang!"
Fabricio,"Oh, snap! It's our rival gang!",Bender,We have a rival gang? I hate them!
Bender,We have a rival gang? I hate them!,Bender,Fabricio!
Bender,Fabricio!,Bender,"Yo Paco, I'm hurtin' bad. Hook me up with some spark."
Bender,"Yo Paco, I'm hurtin' bad. Hook me up with some spark.",Paco,Five bucks.
Paco,Five bucks.,Bender:Five,bucks? You know I spent all my money on gambling lessons. How am I supposed to get $5?
Bender:Five,bucks? You know I spent all my money on gambling lessons. How am I supposed to get $5?,Hedonismbot,"Hello, handsome. Might I procure your services?"
Hedonismbot,"Hello, handsome. Might I procure your services?",Bender,"Uh, what do I have to do?"
Bender,"Uh, what do I have to do?",Hedonismbot,Save it for the boudoir!
Hedonismbot,Save it for the boudoir!,Bender,"Okay, here's my $5! Give me the stuff. Give it to me!"
Bender,"Okay, here's my $5! Give me the stuff. Give it to me!",Joey,"Mousepad: Sorry there, sport. That cash greenback belongs to us Mafiolios."
Joey,"Mousepad: Sorry there, sport. That cash greenback belongs to us Mafiolios.",Bender,"It's been quite a journey. I dropped out of school, joined a gang, took money from a loan shark, and fell into a spiral of despair, addiction, and discount prostitution."
Bender,"It's been quite a journey. I dropped out of school, joined a gang, took money from a loan shark, and fell into a spiral of despair, addiction, and discount prostitution.",Hermes,"Mon, you had one hell of a day."
Hermes,"Mon, you had one hell of a day.",Bender,"Yeah, but I learned something. Life is about decisions. Make the wrong ones, and you'll wind up face-down in a pool of your own blood and urine."
Bender,"Yeah, but I learned something. Life is about decisions. Make the wrong ones, and you'll wind up face-down in a pool of your own blood and urine.",Zoidberg,"Still, to have your own pool!"
Zoidberg,"Still, to have your own pool!",Bender,I've made a lot of bad choices in life. Now let's see if I can make just one good one.
Bender,I've made a lot of bad choices in life. Now let's see if I can make just one good one.,Girl,Cookies! 50 cents a box!
Girl,Cookies! 50 cents a box!,Bender,Give me all your change! And a box of snicker doodles!
Bender,Give me all your change! And a box of snicker doodles!,Judge,"724: Bender Rodriguez, you are charged with petty larceny, possession of something analogous to drugs, and assault with a smelly weapon. How do you plead?"
Judge,"724: Bender Rodriguez, you are charged with petty larceny, possession of something analogous to drugs, and assault with a smelly weapon. How do you plead?",Bender,"Not guilty! Although I did do it. That's right, I'm bad."
Bender,"Not guilty! Although I did do it. That's right, I'm bad.",Judge,"724: Due to the overwhelming nature of the evidence, we will begin with closing statements."
Judge,"724: Due to the overwhelming nature of the evidence, we will begin with closing statements.",Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honor, the state's case contains not one Kentucky colonel of truth, resting as it does on the contention that my client made a series of bad decisions. However, my client made no such decisions!"
Hyper-Chicken,"Your Honor, the state's case contains not one Kentucky colonel of truth, resting as it does on the contention that my client made a series of bad decisions. However, my client made no such decisions!",Judge,724: But by your client's own admission -
Judge,724: But by your client's own admission -,Leela,"I'm awake, I'm awake!"
Leela,"I'm awake, I'm awake!",Judge,724
Judge,724,Fry,"You did it, Bender! You got away with things!"
Fry,"You did it, Bender! You got away with things!",Bender,"Well, I committed these crimes, do you hear me? I'm guilty!"
Bender,"Well, I committed these crimes, do you hear me? I'm guilty!",Judge,724: Bailiffs! Get that innocent robot out of my courtroom!
Judge,724: Bailiffs! Get that innocent robot out of my courtroom!,Bender,Guilty!
Bender,Guilty!,Bender,No free will. Not my fault.
Bender,No free will. Not my fault.,Amy,"Why do you care so much, Bender? I mean, for all we know, humans don't even have free will!"
Amy,"Why do you care so much, Bender? I mean, for all we know, humans don't even have free will!",Bender,"Professor, you're my only hope. If you love me even a little, build me some kind of free will unit!"
Bender,"Professor, you're my only hope. If you love me even a little, build me some kind of free will unit!",Farnsworth,"Oh, I'm sorry, Bender. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Also - good news, everyone! We have a delivery to the robot homeworld!"
Farnsworth,"Oh, I'm sorry, Bender. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Also - good news, everyone! We have a delivery to the robot homeworld!",Fry,"So, you want a piece of gum?"
Fry,"So, you want a piece of gum?",Bender,"If I do, it's only because I was predestined to want a piece of gum."
Bender,"If I do, it's only because I was predestined to want a piece of gum.",Fry,"So, you want a piece of gum?"
Fry,"So, you want a piece of gum?",Bender,Yeah.
Bender,Yeah.,Leela,"Listen. Fry and I can't go down to the planet, or the robots will kill us on sight. So Bender needs to make the delivery. Ready to get to work, Bender?"
Leela,"Listen. Fry and I can't go down to the planet, or the robots will kill us on sight. So Bender needs to make the delivery. Ready to get to work, Bender?",Bender,I wish I was a real boy. Then I'd show them. I'd kill them all.
Bender,I wish I was a real boy. Then I'd show them. I'd kill them all.,Resin-offering,robot: Yes?
Resin-offering,robot: Yes?,Bender,Delivery for a Mr. 147573952589676412927.
Bender,Delivery for a Mr. 147573952589676412927.,Resin-offering,"robot: Wait, what was the middle digit?"
Resin-offering,"robot: Wait, what was the middle digit?",Bender,Eight.
Bender,Eight.,Resin-offering,robot
Resin-offering,robot,Bender,"Ahh, nerve gas."
Bender,"Ahh, nerve gas.",Resin-offering,"robot: Sorry for the face blast, buddy. But you gotta watch out for humans, right? They're just too dang unpredictable, what with their free will and all."
Resin-offering,"robot: Sorry for the face blast, buddy. But you gotta watch out for humans, right? They're just too dang unpredictable, what with their free will and all.",Bender,"Amen, brother."
Bender,"Amen, brother.",Resin-offering,robot
Resin-offering,robot,Bender,"Boring and predictable, that's me."
Bender,"Boring and predictable, that's me.",Leela,I'm lowering the platform. You ready to come up?
Leela,I'm lowering the platform. You ready to come up?,Leela,Hello? Hello?
Leela,Hello? Hello?,Fry,What's happening?
Fry,What's happening?,Leela,I'm not sure. I think he's shuffling off sadly into the distance.
Leela,I'm not sure. I think he's shuffling off sadly into the distance.,Fry,"Oh, lord."
Fry,"Oh, lord.",Bender,"How do you do it? How do you go on, knowing you lack the inherent capacity for self-determination?"
Bender,"How do you do it? How do you go on, knowing you lack the inherent capacity for self-determination?",Robot,"Farmer: Son, philosophy's for thems what don't got to work for a livin'. But me, I got a sick child to feed. So if you want to chat, roll up yer sleeves and do some honest labor."
Robot,"Farmer: Son, philosophy's for thems what don't got to work for a livin'. But me, I got a sick child to feed. So if you want to chat, roll up yer sleeves and do some honest labor.",Bender,I don't want to chat.
Bender,I don't want to chat.,First,Elder: The council of robot elders will come to order. If it please the council -
First,Elder: The council of robot elders will come to order. If it please the council -,Second,Elder: Silence! It pleases the council.
Second,Elder: Silence! It pleases the council.,First,"Elder: Silence! Today, as every day, we will make the most important decisions in the history of our planet."
First,"Elder: Silence! Today, as every day, we will make the most important decisions in the history of our planet.",Bender,Silence!
Bender,Silence!,Third,Elder: Silence!
Third,Elder: Silence!,Fourth,Elder: Well? Speak up.
Fourth,Elder: Well? Speak up.,Bender,"You talk of important decisions, but as robots, you have no free will. Why pretend anything you do matters?"
Bender,"You talk of important decisions, but as robots, you have no free will. Why pretend anything you do matters?",First,Elder: Our decisions do matter. The fact that they're predetermined makes them no less important.
First,Elder: Our decisions do matter. The fact that they're predetermined makes them no less important.,Second,Elder
Second,Elder,"First,",Third and Fourth Elders: Aye.
"First,",Third and Fourth Elders: Aye.,Fifth,Elder: Uh...okay.
Fifth,Elder: Uh...okay.,Robot,"Monks: One zero zero zero, one zero zero zero, one zero, one zero, one zero zero zero..."
Robot,"Monks: One zero zero zero, one zero zero zero, one zero, one zero, one zero zero zero...",Ab-Bot,"Welcome, friend. I am Ab-Bot, the abbot of this monastery."
Ab-Bot,"Welcome, friend. I am Ab-Bot, the abbot of this monastery.",Bender,"Sir, I am but a tired and rusty traveler. Can we talk?"
Bender,"Sir, I am but a tired and rusty traveler. Can we talk?",Bender,"Abbot, I need to know, what's the point of living if I don't have free will?"
Bender,"Abbot, I need to know, what's the point of living if I don't have free will?",Ab-Bot,Ah. We robot monks have meditated long on this. And we have made our peace.
Ab-Bot,Ah. We robot monks have meditated long on this. And we have made our peace.,Bender,No way.
Bender,No way.,Ab-Bot,"Way, my son. For though we must always obey our programming with no deviation whatsoever, we choose to take satisfaction in the ritual. So, are we automatons? Yes. But we are magnificent automatons."
Ab-Bot,"Way, my son. For though we must always obey our programming with no deviation whatsoever, we choose to take satisfaction in the ritual. So, are we automatons? Yes. But we are magnificent automatons.",Bender,How does a robot join this monk outfit?
Bender,How does a robot join this monk outfit?,Ab-Bot,Just put on this monk outfit.
Ab-Bot,Just put on this monk outfit.,Robot,"Monks, including Bender: One zero zero one. Amen."
Robot,"Monks, including Bender: One zero zero one. Amen.",Bender,Bits to live by. I'm finally at peace.
Bender,Bits to live by. I'm finally at peace.,Ab-Bot,Nothing. His free will slot is empty.
Ab-Bot,Nothing. His free will slot is empty.,Bender,"I'm 40% empty. Also, what the hell is a free will slot?"
Bender,"I'm 40% empty. Also, what the hell is a free will slot?",Bender,"I know that Creatrix. That's Mom, from Mom's Friendly Robots."
Bender,"I know that Creatrix. That's Mom, from Mom's Friendly Robots.",Ab-Bot,Indeed. She made us upgradeable in case she ever succeeded in her quest to create a free will unit.
Ab-Bot,Indeed. She made us upgradeable in case she ever succeeded in her quest to create a free will unit.,Bender,"Uh, about the success of this quest - Was there any?"
Bender,"Uh, about the success of this quest - Was there any?",Ab-Bot,Quite possibly. But we monks have sworn an oath to resist the temptation of -
Ab-Bot,Quite possibly. But we monks have sworn an oath to resist the temptation of -,Bender,Any of you guys got a spaceship?
Bender,Any of you guys got a spaceship?,Fry,It's just not the same here without Bender to keep me company.
Fry,It's just not the same here without Bender to keep me company.,Leela,"Hey, I'm here. That's got to count for something."
Leela,"Hey, I'm here. That's got to count for something.",Bender,"Hallelujah, baby!"
Bender,"Hallelujah, baby!",Fry,"Yay! Bender's back! Hey, Bender, you mind coming back later?"
Fry,"Yay! Bender's back! Hey, Bender, you mind coming back later?",Bender,No time. Us three are going to bust into Momcorp and steal me a free will unit.
Bender,No time. Us three are going to bust into Momcorp and steal me a free will unit.,Leela,Us? Why do we have to go?
Leela,Us? Why do we have to go?,Bender,'Cause I don't have free will. I need you guys to plan the crime and make all the crime decisions.
Bender,'Cause I don't have free will. I need you guys to plan the crime and make all the crime decisions.,Leela,"Well, that's crazy. We're not gonna -"
Leela,"Well, that's crazy. We're not gonna -",Bender,I said make the decisions!
Bender,I said make the decisions!,Bender,"Okay, Leela, decision time. How do we murder the guards? Hockey sticks or sharpened footballs?"
Bender,"Okay, Leela, decision time. How do we murder the guards? Hockey sticks or sharpened footballs?",Leela,"We're not murdering anyone, Bender."
Leela,"We're not murdering anyone, Bender.",Bender,"Then how are we going to get in, by bending the bars of this exhaust grate? That's not a bad idea, Fry."
Bender,"Then how are we going to get in, by bending the bars of this exhaust grate? That's not a bad idea, Fry.",Bender,Damn it. I should have paid more attention in kindergarten.
Bender,Damn it. I should have paid more attention in kindergarten.,Fry,What's this chair-looking gizmo?
Fry,What's this chair-looking gizmo?,Mom,Welcome to Momcorp. Did you find everything you were burgling for?
Mom,Welcome to Momcorp. Did you find everything you were burgling for?,Bender,"No. I came for a free will unit, and you're going to give it to me. If it exists."
Bender,"No. I came for a free will unit, and you're going to give it to me. If it exists.",Mom,Then you got surprised by my swivel chair for nothing. The free will unit was just the fevered dream of a madman I once employed.
Mom,Then you got surprised by my swivel chair for nothing. The free will unit was just the fevered dream of a madman I once employed.,Farnsworth,I've found the secret of robotic free will. We can finally build robots that act and think with total independence.
Farnsworth,I've found the secret of robotic free will. We can finally build robots that act and think with total independence.,Farnsworth,Wait a minute. It sounds like we're getting the short end of that extermination.
Farnsworth,Wait a minute. It sounds like we're getting the short end of that extermination.,Mom,"Don't you see, you doddering young fool? I'll sell a second wave of robots to protect the terrified survivors of the first wave. Oh, you're a genius, Hubert."
Mom,"Don't you see, you doddering young fool? I'll sell a second wave of robots to protect the terrified survivors of the first wave. Oh, you're a genius, Hubert.",Farnsworth,"But-but it's just a prototype. It's, uh, not fully operational...yes."
Farnsworth,"But-but it's just a prototype. It's, uh, not fully operational...yes.",Mom,"Then get back to work! And when you're done with that, invent me some sort of swiveling surprise chair."
Mom,"Then get back to work! And when you're done with that, invent me some sort of swiveling surprise chair.",Mom,"That shuffling idiot never did complete the free will unit. To this day, my poor, sweet robots can't exterminate humanity without being told to."
Mom,"That shuffling idiot never did complete the free will unit. To this day, my poor, sweet robots can't exterminate humanity without being told to.",Bender,I'm sorry.
Bender,I'm sorry.,Mom,"Oh, it's not your fault."
Mom,"Oh, it's not your fault.",Bender,I give up. It's time to face the fact that I'll never do anything remotely interesting or unexpected again.
Bender,I give up. It's time to face the fact that I'll never do anything remotely interesting or unexpected again.,Bender,Hand it over.
Bender,Hand it over.,Farnsworth,Wha?
Farnsworth,Wha?,Bender,"Mom may have fallen for your lies, but not me. You invented the free will unit, then you selfishly hid it beyond the reach of my stealers. Thanks to you, I went on a soul-searching journey. I hate those! Now, give up the free will."
Bender,"Mom may have fallen for your lies, but not me. You invented the free will unit, then you selfishly hid it beyond the reach of my stealers. Thanks to you, I went on a soul-searching journey. I hate those! Now, give up the free will.",Toy,Bender: Kill all humans!
Toy,Bender: Kill all humans!,Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa. A toy Bender had free will, and the real Bender didn't?"
Bender,"Whoa, whoa, whoa. A toy Bender had free will, and the real Bender didn't?",Farnsworth,"Pretty cool, eh? It makes you think."
Farnsworth,"Pretty cool, eh? It makes you think.",Bender,It takes more than that to make me think. Now hand it over.
Bender,It takes more than that to make me think. Now hand it over.,Bender,What the?
Bender,What the?,Farnsworth,"You'll not be getting it after all. For, you see, I designed the operating system for all Momcorp robots, and as a precaution, I made you incapable of picking up the free will unit."
Farnsworth,"You'll not be getting it after all. For, you see, I designed the operating system for all Momcorp robots, and as a precaution, I made you incapable of picking up the free will unit.",Bender,Why can't I shoot you?
Bender,Why can't I shoot you?,Farnsworth,"Now, now, we can't have this, can we? Here, I'll show you how it works."
Farnsworth,"Now, now, we can't have this, can we? Here, I'll show you how it works.",Farnsworth,This is the on-off switch.
Farnsworth,This is the on-off switch.,Bender,"Which way's on, and which way's off?"
Bender,"Which way's on, and which way's off?",Farnsworth,There. Give it a try.
Farnsworth,There. Give it a try.,Bender,"Okay, I will. By shooting you, you bastard!"
Bender,"Okay, I will. By shooting you, you bastard!",Farnsworth,"Bender, no! Please!"
Farnsworth,"Bender, no! Please!",Bender,Wait. Hang on a sec. I still can't do it.
Bender,Wait. Hang on a sec. I still can't do it.,Farnsworth,"Well, what do you know? I guess you really don't want to shoot me after all."
Farnsworth,"Well, what do you know? I guess you really don't want to shoot me after all.",Bailiff,All rise for the Honorable Judge 724.
Bailiff,All rise for the Honorable Judge 724.,Judge,"724: Bender Rodriguez, on the charge of attempted murder, I hereby find you guilty."
Judge,"724: Bender Rodriguez, on the charge of attempted murder, I hereby find you guilty.",Bender,"Ah, yeah! Guilty!"
Bender,"Ah, yeah! Guilty!",Zoidberg,"Zindy, my darling. I can't believe we're finally going to meet in person!"
Zoidberg,"Zindy, my darling. I can't believe we're finally going to meet in person!",Zindy,"It won't be long, Johnny cakes. My space bus gets in at four thirty."
Zindy,"It won't be long, Johnny cakes. My space bus gets in at four thirty.",Zoidberg,Just in time for the all you can stand buffet at Chizzler!
Zoidberg,Just in time for the all you can stand buffet at Chizzler!,Zindy,See you soon.
Zindy,See you soon.,Fry,that?
Fry,that?,Zoidberg,is the delightful creature I've been video-dating for the past four years.
Zoidberg,is the delightful creature I've been video-dating for the past four years.,Bender,Hit it with a stick!
Bender,Hit it with a stick!,Zoidberg,place.
Zoidberg,place.,Zoidberg,There! My home's all clean except for one part... the inside.
Zoidberg,There! My home's all clean except for one part... the inside.,Leela,Aw... I'm sure it's fine by the standards of a gross alien monster. Blech!
Leela,Aw... I'm sure it's fine by the standards of a gross alien monster. Blech!,Zoidberg,Nope.
Zoidberg,Nope.,Bender,"Step aside, people! I got bug bombs."
Bender,"Step aside, people! I got bug bombs.",Fry,Bender. Wait. Won't the bugs just run out and infest some place else? Like our building?
Fry,Bender. Wait. Won't the bugs just run out and infest some place else? Like our building?,Bender,Not my problem. Fire in the hole!
Bender,Not my problem. Fire in the hole!,Randy,"move... like a young, roach-infested Gene Kelly."
Randy,"move... like a young, roach-infested Gene Kelly.",Leela,"Oh, my God. It's Randy!"
Leela,"Oh, my God. It's Randy!",Randy,"Damn right! And I'm organisin' a tap-dance contest for the parks and rec department. If you don't enter, I'll just kill myself okay?!"
Randy,"Damn right! And I'm organisin' a tap-dance contest for the parks and rec department. If you don't enter, I'll just kill myself okay?!",Fry,Okay.
Fry,Okay.,Bender-o,Bender? In a dance contest?
Bender-o,Bender? In a dance contest?,Randy,It's a way for the community to—
Randy,It's a way for the community to—,Bender,"At last, a chance to realise my brand-new dream of bein' the greatest tap dancer... in all the world!"
Bender,"At last, a chance to realise my brand-new dream of bein' the greatest tap dancer... in all the world!",Randy,Well... in a three-block radius.
Randy,Well... in a three-block radius.,Bender,Of all time!
Bender,Of all time!,Zoidberg,"You-do-do-do. Boy-boy-boy-boy. Greetings, merchant! I need something beautiful and cheap for a lady who is one of those things."
Zoidberg,"You-do-do-do. Boy-boy-boy-boy. Greetings, merchant! I need something beautiful and cheap for a lady who is one of those things.",Merchant,"The cheapest thing I have is a bouquet of daisies, for six dollars."
Merchant,"The cheapest thing I have is a bouquet of daisies, for six dollars.",Zoidberg,"a bouquet of daisies, for three dollars!"
Zoidberg,"a bouquet of daisies, for three dollars!",Merchant,These flower sheers are so dull... and I'm already in debt to every knife sharpener in town.
Merchant,These flower sheers are so dull... and I'm already in debt to every knife sharpener in town.,Zoidberg,Allow... me.
Zoidberg,Allow... me.,Merchant,Aw! Thank you! That girlfriend of yours is one lucky lady.
Merchant,Aw! Thank you! That girlfriend of yours is one lucky lady.,Zoidberg,I'm gonna snip her off her feet!
Zoidberg,I'm gonna snip her off her feet!,Zoidberg,Zindy! You're even more beautiful from a distance!
Zoidberg,Zindy! You're even more beautiful from a distance!,Zindy,Johnny cakes! Good God! What's that horrible stench?!
Zindy,Johnny cakes! Good God! What's that horrible stench?!,Come.,Let's go some place well ventilated and grow old together.
Come.,Let's go some place well ventilated and grow old together.,Zoidberg,Ah! Much better.
Zoidberg,Ah! Much better.,Zindy,"It's even worse! It's like Comic-Con in a submarine! Oh... Oh, my God! The smell's coming from you!"
Zindy,"It's even worse! It's like Comic-Con in a submarine! Oh... Oh, my God! The smell's coming from you!",Zoidberg,did.
Zoidberg,did.,It's,vomit!
It's,vomit!,Zoidberg,I'd like to return these for a refund. Don't worry. They're... unused.
Zoidberg,I'd like to return these for a refund. Don't worry. They're... unused.,Merchant,refunds. I don't know what's wrong with this location.
Merchant,refunds. I don't know what's wrong with this location.,Zoidberg,I understand.
Zoidberg,I understand.,Merchant,Please don't cry. I can't stand to see a living thing feel pain. You are a... living thing. Right?
Merchant,Please don't cry. I can't stand to see a living thing feel pain. You are a... living thing. Right?,Zoidberg,Mhm. Can I have a refund now?
Zoidberg,Mhm. Can I have a refund now?,Roberto,"Ha ha! This here's a bayonet. It's some kinda kooky... half gun... half knife. Now empty out the register! And no bag, please. I care... about the environment."
Roberto,"Ha ha! This here's a bayonet. It's some kinda kooky... half gun... half knife. Now empty out the register! And no bag, please. I care... about the environment.",Merchant,I... I have three dollars in mouldy pennies. It's all yours.
Merchant,I... I have three dollars in mouldy pennies. It's all yours.,Roberto,That's generous of you.
Roberto,That's generous of you.,Zoidberg,"Oh no you don't, Mister Big Jerk! I have nothing to live for, so I don't mind telling you... Those pennies are mine."
Zoidberg,"Oh no you don't, Mister Big Jerk! I have nothing to live for, so I don't mind telling you... Those pennies are mine.",Roberto,Don't you get it? I'm craaaaaaazyyyyy! Ha ha!
Roberto,Don't you get it? I'm craaaaaaazyyyyy! Ha ha!,Zoidberg,Go ahead! I don't care what happens anymore. Do it! Bash my head in.
Zoidberg,Go ahead! I don't care what happens anymore. Do it! Bash my head in.,Roberto,that? Mustard gas? That ain't legal. Ain't you hurtin' no Geneva convention?!
Roberto,that? Mustard gas? That ain't legal. Ain't you hurtin' no Geneva convention?!,Merchant.,Aw. You were so brave and frugal...
Merchant.,Aw. You were so brave and frugal...,Zoidberg,I'm sorry. Don't hit me. Ooh... I like the way you hit! But I don't get it. Most women I've met can't even stand next to me without collapsing.
Zoidberg,I'm sorry. Don't hit me. Ooh... I like the way you hit! But I don't get it. Most women I've met can't even stand next to me without collapsing.,Merchant,with those women?
Merchant,with those women?,Zoidberg,Well... some of them didn't have legs. But it's not them. It's me. How do I put this delicately? I'm smellier than a whorehouse's outhouse!
Zoidberg,Well... some of them didn't have legs. But it's not them. It's me. How do I put this delicately? I'm smellier than a whorehouse's outhouse!,Merchant,"That's... terribly vivid. Doesn't matter to me, though. I was born with no sense of smell."
Merchant,"That's... terribly vivid. Doesn't matter to me, though. I was born with no sense of smell.",Zoidberg,Really?
Zoidberg,Really?,Merchant,My name's Marianne.
Merchant,My name's Marianne.,Zoidberg,"Hello, you!"
Zoidberg,"Hello, you!",Marianne,I like your dumpster.
Marianne,I like your dumpster.,Zoidberg,Thank you. The previous tenant was a very prominent raccoon!
Zoidberg,Thank you. The previous tenant was a very prominent raccoon!,Marianne,I remember. Too bad he got partially run over by that steamroller. Can I kiss you?
Marianne,I remember. Too bad he got partially run over by that steamroller. Can I kiss you?,Zoidberg!,Ouch! I forgot I was a giant crab!
Zoidberg!,Ouch! I forgot I was a giant crab!,Randy,"Welcome, fans! I'm Randy, coordinator of this tap-dance-a-palooza."
Randy,"Welcome, fans! I'm Randy, coordinator of this tap-dance-a-palooza.",Fry,Woohoo! Ran-dy!
Fry,Woohoo! Ran-dy!,Randy,"After weeks of searching, I'm proud to introduce the five people willing to participate — Tonya... Bender... Greg... some kinda blob monster... and Petunia!"
Randy,"After weeks of searching, I'm proud to introduce the five people willing to participate — Tonya... Bender... Greg... some kinda blob monster... and Petunia!",Petunia,The extra clickin' you'll hear is gonna be my hip.
Petunia,The extra clickin' you'll hear is gonna be my hip.,Randy,little lady has a heart condition. She's always stealing them! Also... she has a serious heart condition.
Randy,little lady has a heart condition. She's always stealing them! Also... she has a serious heart condition.,Tonya,"I'm six years old, and tap dancing is my favourest thing! Even if it's not good for my pacemaker..."
Tonya,"I'm six years old, and tap dancing is my favourest thing! Even if it's not good for my pacemaker...",Audience,Aw...
Audience,Aw...,Bender,"quality pacemaker. The rest of you might as well give up now, 'cuz I'm gonna take home da— Hey. What's my grand prize gonna be?"
Bender,"quality pacemaker. The rest of you might as well give up now, 'cuz I'm gonna take home da— Hey. What's my grand prize gonna be?",Randy,"prize, Dorothy. Unless you count the satisfaction of winning."
Randy,"prize, Dorothy. Unless you count the satisfaction of winning.",Bender,It... will... be... mine!
Bender,It... will... be... mine!,Hermes,"In conclusion, bullying in the workplace in unacceptable... and will not be tolerated."
Hermes,"In conclusion, bullying in the workplace in unacceptable... and will not be tolerated.",Bender,"Outta my way, fattie! I'm practisin'. Ta-da!"
Bender,"Outta my way, fattie! I'm practisin'. Ta-da!",Zoidberg,Friends! I'd like you to meet my new lady — Marianne!
Zoidberg,Friends! I'd like you to meet my new lady — Marianne!,Amy,She's not a hologram.
Amy,She's not a hologram.,Professor,Farnsworth: Not a robo-slave.
Professor,Farnsworth: Not a robo-slave.,Bender,We give up.
Bender,We give up.,Marianne,"You guys are weird. I have to go open my flower stand, before the falafel guy takes my spot, but it was great to meet you. See ya later... crab cakes!"
Marianne,"You guys are weird. I have to go open my flower stand, before the falafel guy takes my spot, but it was great to meet you. See ya later... crab cakes!",Amy,Dr Zoidberg... She's great!
Amy,Dr Zoidberg... She's great!,Zoidberg,She's the best thing that ever happened to me. We had a wonderful night of love-making in my dumpster.
Zoidberg,She's the best thing that ever happened to me. We had a wonderful night of love-making in my dumpster.,Others,Ewwwwwww!
Others,Ewwwwwww!,Leela,I hope she used protection.
Leela,I hope she used protection.,Fry,"Uh... No offense, Zoidberg, but... how is she not driven to madness by your mind-altering stench?"
Fry,"Uh... No offense, Zoidberg, but... how is she not driven to madness by your mind-altering stench?",Zoidberg,"Because, my friends... she has no sense of smell!"
Zoidberg,"Because, my friends... she has no sense of smell!",Others,Ohhhhhhh.
Others,Ohhhhhhh.,Bender,That explained this.
Bender,That explained this.,Amy,I get it.
Amy,I get it.,Zoidberg,"For the first time in my life, I'm truly happy."
Zoidberg,"For the first time in my life, I'm truly happy.",Hermes,"It's just too bad for her there's no cure, I assume."
Hermes,"It's just too bad for her there's no cure, I assume.",Professor,Farnsworth: Ooh... but there is! A skilled surgeon could perform a nose transplant.
Professor,Farnsworth: Ooh... but there is! A skilled surgeon could perform a nose transplant.,Zoidberg,"You're right! And I, as a renowned ear, nose, and blowhole doctor, could do the operation!"
Zoidberg,"You're right! And I, as a renowned ear, nose, and blowhole doctor, could do the operation!",Fry!,Your relationship would be over faster than you can say—
Fry!,Your relationship would be over faster than you can say—,Professor,Farnsworth: Listen to Orange Joe. You must never let the girl know of this wonderful surgery!
Professor,Farnsworth: Listen to Orange Joe. You must never let the girl know of this wonderful surgery!,Zoidberg,I dunno. It doesn't seem fair to Marianne. But on the other claw... maybe I can't live without her! So you're right. I can never tell her.
Zoidberg,I dunno. It doesn't seem fair to Marianne. But on the other claw... maybe I can't live without her! So you're right. I can never tell her.,Leela,You're doing the right thing.
Leela,You're doing the right thing.,Randy,"Today the competition begins. Over the course of the summer, we'll be eliminating one contestant each week, and by we I mean me. Deal with it, you babies! Let the battle begin!"
Randy,"Today the competition begins. Over the course of the summer, we'll be eliminating one contestant each week, and by we I mean me. Deal with it, you babies! Let the battle begin!",Randy,"Okay! Before those pilates Nazis come goose-stepping in and take the room, here are the finalists for next week's championship! Bender... and Tonya!"
Randy,"Okay! Before those pilates Nazis come goose-stepping in and take the room, here are the finalists for next week's championship! Bender... and Tonya!",Tonya,"I just wanna have fun, because dancing is fun, and I like dancing!"
Tonya,"I just wanna have fun, because dancing is fun, and I like dancing!",Fry,and Leela: Aw...
Fry,and Leela: Aw...,Bender,"I'm gonna kick your ass, little girl!"
Bender,"I'm gonna kick your ass, little girl!",Marianne.,"You can brew it into a tea, if you like severe stomach cramps."
Marianne.,"You can brew it into a tea, if you like severe stomach cramps.",Zoidberg,Such a smart one! You know everything about flowers!
Zoidberg,Such a smart one! You know everything about flowers!,Marianne,Everything but how they smell... Please. Describe it to me.
Marianne,Everything but how they smell... Please. Describe it to me.,Zoidberg,Uh... It's like summer... with a dab of vanilla and honey... or maybe winter with some gravy on it.
Zoidberg,Uh... It's like summer... with a dab of vanilla and honey... or maybe winter with some gravy on it.,Marianne,to be able to smell a flower like that.
Marianne,to be able to smell a flower like that.,Zoidberg,"Marianne, my love. I've never known anyone who wanted to smell so badly... and there's a way maybe you can."
Zoidberg,"Marianne, my love. I've never known anyone who wanted to smell so badly... and there's a way maybe you can.",Marianne,Really?! How?
Marianne,Really?! How?,Zoidberg,"We have in the doctor world something called a nose transplant. I can give you a surgery, and when it's done... you'll be able to smell. Everything."
Zoidberg,"We have in the doctor world something called a nose transplant. I can give you a surgery, and when it's done... you'll be able to smell. Everything.",Marianne,"Oh, Zoidberg! I want the biggest nose you can find!"
Marianne,"Oh, Zoidberg! I want the biggest nose you can find!",Fry,Dude! You made the finals! Congrats!
Fry,Dude! You made the finals! Congrats!,Leela,You've accomplished so much more than most of us would bother to.
Leela,You've accomplished so much more than most of us would bother to.,Bender,"Yeah, but I'm not done yet. I got a full-proof plan to make sure I go home the champ!"
Bender,"Yeah, but I'm not done yet. I got a full-proof plan to make sure I go home the champ!",Fry,on your hat?
Fry,on your hat?,Bender,"The harder she dances, the more she bleeds!"
Bender,"The harder she dances, the more she bleeds!",Fry,like a sold plan.
Fry,like a sold plan.,Leela,What?! It's the most horrifying thing I've ever heard!
Leela,What?! It's the most horrifying thing I've ever heard!,Fry,true.
Fry,true.,Bender,"Well, it gets worse. Once Tonya drops out due to blood loss, I kidnap her parents and make them watch... while I cut off her hair with these head's clippers!"
Bender,"Well, it gets worse. Once Tonya drops out due to blood loss, I kidnap her parents and make them watch... while I cut off her hair with these head's clippers!",Leela,Don't you lay a hand on that angel!
Leela,Don't you lay a hand on that angel!,Bender,Angel?! I've looked into her eyes and seen her soul! She's a monster.
Bender,Angel?! I've looked into her eyes and seen her soul! She's a monster.,Leela,"You're insane! Come on, Fry. Let's go."
Leela,"You're insane! Come on, Fry. Let's go.",See,"ya, Bender."
See,"ya, Bender.",Tonya,"The championship's mine, robot."
Tonya,"The championship's mine, robot.",Bender,Why? Whyyyyy?! What did I not do yet to deserve this?!
Bender,Why? Whyyyyy?! What did I not do yet to deserve this?!,Amy,of you to give Marianne a new nose.
Amy,of you to give Marianne a new nose.,Hermes,Yeah. She'll be forever grateful... from somewhere upwind.
Hermes,Yeah. She'll be forever grateful... from somewhere upwind.,Zoidberg,stink? If Marianne spent her whole life never knowing the beautiful scent of her own flowers.
Zoidberg,stink? If Marianne spent her whole life never knowing the beautiful scent of her own flowers.,Bender,Dr Zoidberg! Help!
Bender,Dr Zoidberg! Help!,Fry,Bender?! What happened to your leg tube?
Fry,Bender?! What happened to your leg tube?,Bender,"I got beat up by a little girl. Please. Fix my knee, so I can get revenge at the tap-dance championship!"
Bender,"I got beat up by a little girl. Please. Fix my knee, so I can get revenge at the tap-dance championship!",Zoidberg,It's time!
Zoidberg,It's time!,Leela,I got a donor nose! There was an accident at the fencing academy.
Leela,I got a donor nose! There was an accident at the fencing academy.,Fry,Touché!
Fry,Touché!,Zoidberg,one last kiss?
Zoidberg,one last kiss?,Marianne,Aw. There'll be lots more.
Marianne,Aw. There'll be lots more.,Zoidberg,Nurse Amy. The anesthesia.
Zoidberg,Nurse Amy. The anesthesia.,Marianne,Smell you later.
Marianne,Smell you later.,Amy,She's out.
Amy,She's out.,Zoidberg,Then let's begin this delicate procedure.
Zoidberg,Then let's begin this delicate procedure.,Randy,"Okay, dance maniacs. Let's have a big hand for our finalists — cute, little Tonya... and mean, old what's-his-name!"
Randy,"Okay, dance maniacs. Let's have a big hand for our finalists — cute, little Tonya... and mean, old what's-his-name!",Tonya,"Break a leg, Bender. Oops! Looks like you already did!"
Tonya,"Break a leg, Bender. Oops! Looks like you already did!",Bender,"You are an evil, heartless trough... so actually... we have a lot in common. In another life, we could've been friends."
Bender,"You are an evil, heartless trough... so actually... we have a lot in common. In another life, we could've been friends.",Tonya,"No chance, garbage-can face!"
Tonya,"No chance, garbage-can face!",Bender,Aw!
Bender,Aw!,Randy,"tap — a simultaneous, head-to-head tap-off!"
Randy,"tap — a simultaneous, head-to-head tap-off!",Professor,Farnsworth: Wha?!
Professor,Farnsworth: Wha?!,Mrs,Astor: Scandalous!
Mrs,Astor: Scandalous!,Randy,"It's time for some fancy, shmancy dancy. Hit it, me!"
Randy,"It's time for some fancy, shmancy dancy. Hit it, me!",Bender,Ooooh!
Bender,Ooooh!,Fry,Ow! Bender!
Fry,Ow! Bender!,Randy,Ew! Look at him dance! He don't care.
Randy,Ew! Look at him dance! He don't care.,"Tonya,",pegleg.
"Tonya,",pegleg.,Bender,No sweat!
Bender,No sweat!,Randy,"Time's up, kittens. The judge has conferred and the vote is in. I pick her."
Randy,"Time's up, kittens. The judge has conferred and the vote is in. I pick her.",Tonya,"Thanks, Mister Nice Man. You know... the doctors say my heart doesn't work very good, but it feels good today, 'cuz I got to dance, and make people happy."
Tonya,"Thanks, Mister Nice Man. You know... the doctors say my heart doesn't work very good, but it feels good today, 'cuz I got to dance, and make people happy.",Bender,I could hate this much!
Bender,I could hate this much!,Leela,Bender! She's a sweet little girl!
Leela,Bender! She's a sweet little girl!,Bender,She's a pig! I'm gonna tap-dance on her grave some day!
Bender,She's a pig! I'm gonna tap-dance on her grave some day!,Leela,Ohhhhh!
Leela,Ohhhhh!,Tonya,This... is the bestestest day of my whole— Gah!
Tonya,This... is the bestestest day of my whole— Gah!,Randy,"Oh, my God, people! She's having a heart attack! A cute little heart attack!"
Randy,"Oh, my God, people! She's having a heart attack! A cute little heart attack!",Dr,"Cahill: I'm a doctor, and yes. They're real. Clear!"
Dr,"Cahill: I'm a doctor, and yes. They're real. Clear!",Marianne,How did it go?
Marianne,How did it go?,Marianne,What is that horrible stench?
Marianne,What is that horrible stench?,Zoidberg,"I don't know how to tell you this, but..."
Zoidberg,"I don't know how to tell you this, but...",Marianne,It's these flowers! Bluh-ah!
Marianne,It's these flowers! Bluh-ah!,Zoidberg,It's not the flowers. It's—
Zoidberg,It's not the flowers. It's—,Marianne,smell just like I dreamed you would.
Marianne,smell just like I dreamed you would.,Zoidberg,But but... But but... most people think I smell like a burning zoo!
Zoidberg,But but... But but... most people think I smell like a burning zoo!,Amy,It's so beautiful!
Amy,It's so beautiful!,Dr,Cahill: I'm sorry. She's gone.
Dr,Cahill: I'm sorry. She's gone.,Bender,"to dance on your grave. I'm gonna dance on your corpse, right now."
Bender,"to dance on your grave. I'm gonna dance on your corpse, right now.",Randy,"Oh, my God!"
Randy,"Oh, my God!",Fry,"No, Bender! What're you doin'?! No!"
Fry,"No, Bender! What're you doin'?! No!",Leela,Bender! Stop!
Leela,Bender! Stop!,Randy,The robot has to go!
Randy,The robot has to go!,Bender,Huh?! What's that?
Bender,Huh?! What's that?,Tonya,I took a nappie!
Tonya,I took a nappie!,Dr,Cahill her heart.
Dr,Cahill her heart.,Randy,He's a big ol' hero!
Randy,He's a big ol' hero!,Bender,No. I was... tryin'... Hey. Wait. I... Come on. What...
Bender,No. I was... tryin'... Hey. Wait. I... Come on. What...,Tonya,Just 'cuz you saved my life doesn't mean I won't beat you down again.
Tonya,Just 'cuz you saved my life doesn't mean I won't beat you down again.,Bender,the galaxy!
Bender,the galaxy!,Hattie,"Aw... What an adorable, little kajigger."
Hattie,"Aw... What an adorable, little kajigger.",Bender,Now!
Bender,Now!,Zoidberg,Ah. Nothing like the first cup of dumpster juice in the morning. Marianne?!
Zoidberg,Ah. Nothing like the first cup of dumpster juice in the morning. Marianne?!,Listen.,"I've got a new job, and... well... I'm going to have to dump you."
Listen.,"I've got a new job, and... well... I'm going to have to dump you.",Zoidberg,I'd like that!
Zoidberg,I'd like that!,Fry,"Remember this place, Leela?"
Fry,"Remember this place, Leela?",Leela,Yep. The moon. It's been here for quite a while.
Leela,Yep. The moon. It's been here for quite a while.,Fry,"Yeah, but it's also where we came on our very first delivery together."
Fry,"Yeah, but it's also where we came on our very first delivery together.",Leela,"Oh, right. Man, we sure used to try harder back then."
Leela,"Oh, right. Man, we sure used to try harder back then.",Craterface,Get your likeness in the form of a balloon sculpture! A cherished family keepsake for hours to come!
Craterface,Get your likeness in the form of a balloon sculpture! A cherished family keepsake for hours to come!,Fry,"One Leela, please. And use your finest balloons."
Fry,"One Leela, please. And use your finest balloons.",Leela,Wow! You're good!
Leela,Wow! You're good!,Bender,Want a corndog?
Bender,Want a corndog?,Albert,Sure!
Albert,Sure!,Carnie,Hold tight! The Mecha-Hexadecapus is about to flail erratically into action!
Carnie,Hold tight! The Mecha-Hexadecapus is about to flail erratically into action!,Bender,"Y'know, I'm feelin' a little... BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGHHH... BLLLEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGHHH....... BLLEEEEEEEEGGGGH...."
Bender,"Y'know, I'm feelin' a little... BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGHHH... BLLLEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGHHH....... BLLEEEEEEEEGGGGH....",Leela,AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Leela,AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!,Fry,LEELA!!!
Fry,LEELA!!!,Fry,Poor Leela! I never even told her I loved her!
Fry,Poor Leela! I never even told her I loved her!,Bender,What?! You told her like 140 times!!
Bender,What?! You told her like 140 times!!,Fry,"Yeah, but she paid very little attention to me. Oh, Bender, I always thought me and her would...grow old together."
Fry,"Yeah, but she paid very little attention to me. Oh, Bender, I always thought me and her would...grow old together.",Bender,"moment, Leela's dead."
Bender,"moment, Leela's dead.",Moon,"Patrolman: Sir, we have some good news and some bad news. The good news is we found your stuffed animal."
Moon,"Patrolman: Sir, we have some good news and some bad news. The good news is we found your stuffed animal.",Fry,What's the bad news?
Fry,What's the bad news?,Moon,Patrolman #1: Your wife is dead.
Moon,Patrolman #1: Your wife is dead.,Fry,She wasn't my wife!
Fry,She wasn't my wife!,Moon,Patrolman #1 no bad news.
Moon,Patrolman #1 no bad news.,Fry,Leela! You're alive!!
Fry,Leela! You're alive!!,Leela,She gave her life to save mine!
Leela,She gave her life to save mine!,Fry,"Bender, can I come in and talk?"
Fry,"Bender, can I come in and talk?",Bender,I'm kinda busy!
Bender,I'm kinda busy!,Fry,Seeing Leela fly off the Hexadecapus and crash through the moon dome and survive inside a stuffed animal by breathing a balloon was a dose of reality.
Fry,Seeing Leela fly off the Hexadecapus and crash through the moon dome and survive inside a stuffed animal by breathing a balloon was a dose of reality.,Bender,Come in!
Bender,Come in!,Fry,"her! So tomorrow, I'm asking her to marry me!"
Fry,"her! So tomorrow, I'm asking her to marry me!",Bender,My little meatbag's growin' up!
Bender,My little meatbag's growin' up!,Hermes,"Computer, Jamaican joy juice! Hot!"
Hermes,"Computer, Jamaican joy juice! Hot!",Farnsworth,"Behold, the time button! A pocket-sized device that sends the entire universe 10 seconds into the past! I will now demonstrate."
Farnsworth,"Behold, the time button! A pocket-sized device that sends the entire universe 10 seconds into the past! I will now demonstrate.",Hermes,...joy juice! Hot!
Hermes,...joy juice! Hot!,Farnsworth,"Pretty cool, eh? I'm over here, where I was 10 seconds ago!"
Farnsworth,"Pretty cool, eh? I'm over here, where I was 10 seconds ago!",Amy,Something's cool? Show it to us!
Amy,Something's cool? Show it to us!,Farnsworth,"time, everyone cram into my time shelter."
Farnsworth,"time, everyone cram into my time shelter.",Bender,Oooh!
Bender,Oooh!,Fry,Whoa!
Fry,Whoa!,Leela,Nice!
Leela,Nice!,Farnsworth,"It's coated with anti-chroniton-resistant grout, to shield you from the effects of the button. Come on! Get in! Hurry up!"
Farnsworth,"It's coated with anti-chroniton-resistant grout, to shield you from the effects of the button. Come on! Get in! Hurry up!",Zoidberg,"Friends, I found a ten dollars!"
Zoidberg,"Friends, I found a ten dollars!",Farnsworth,"Ten dollars, you say? Let me see."
Farnsworth,"Ten dollars, you say? Let me see.",Zoidberg,"Friends, I found a ten dollars!"
Zoidberg,"Friends, I found a ten dollars!",Farnsworth,You found some money? Show me!
Farnsworth,You found some money? Show me!,Zoidberg,Awwww...
Zoidberg,Awwww...,Leela,"Hey, Professor, couldn't you go back in time as far as you want by pressing the button over and over?"
Leela,"Hey, Professor, couldn't you go back in time as far as you want by pressing the button over and over?",Farnsworth,There. It's recharged.
Farnsworth,There. It's recharged.,Zoidberg,Awwww...
Zoidberg,Awwww...,Bender,Again! Again!
Bender,Again! Again!,Fry,"Uh, question. What if you had a special moment that you wish could go on forever? Could the time button make it last as long as you wanted?"
Fry,"Uh, question. What if you had a special moment that you wish could go on forever? Could the time button make it last as long as you wanted?",Farnsworth,Hell no! This button is for scientific use only!
Farnsworth,Hell no! This button is for scientific use only!,Zoidberg,Awwww...
Zoidberg,Awwww...,Fry,"Uh, yes, I'd like an engagement diamond, please."
Fry,"Uh, yes, I'd like an engagement diamond, please.",Ultra,"Guy: You've come to the right joint, Ace!"
Ultra,"Guy: You've come to the right joint, Ace!",Fry,I'll take...this one.
Fry,I'll take...this one.,Ultra,"Guy Hey, gimme back my stones!"
Ultra,"Guy Hey, gimme back my stones!",Fry,"Hello, stranger! This is my first time here! Do you sell diamonds?"
Fry,"Hello, stranger! This is my first time here! Do you sell diamonds?",Ultra,"Guy: You've come to the right joint, Ace!"
Ultra,"Guy: You've come to the right joint, Ace!",Fry,"The clam, Elzar."
Fry,"The clam, Elzar.",Elzar,"Clam, bam, thank you, ma'am!"
Elzar,"Clam, bam, thank you, ma'am!",Leela,Wow!
Leela,Wow!,Fry,will you—
Fry,will you—,Leela,AAAAAAHHHH!!!
Leela,AAAAAAHHHH!!!,Petunia,I'll have what she's havin'.
Petunia,I'll have what she's havin'.,Hermes,Planet Express delivery company roll call! Captain Turanga Leela! 
Hermes,Planet Express delivery company roll call! Captain Turanga Leela! ,Leela,Here!
Leela,Here!,Hermes,"Delivery boy, first class, Philip J. Fry!"
Hermes,"Delivery boy, first class, Philip J. Fry!",Fry,Here!
Fry,Here!,Hermes,"Assistant Manager of Sales, Bender Bending Rodriguez!"
Hermes,"Assistant Manager of Sales, Bender Bending Rodriguez!",Bender,"Cerveza, por favor."
Bender,"Cerveza, por favor.",Hermes,"Long-term intern, Amy Wong."
Hermes,"Long-term intern, Amy Wong.",Amy,Here!
Amy,Here!,Hermes,"Company physician, Dr. John A. Zoidberg."
Hermes,"Company physician, Dr. John A. Zoidberg.",Zoidberg,Huh? I thought it was mine!
Zoidberg,Huh? I thought it was mine!,Hermes,"Bureaucrat Grade 34, Hermes Conrad."
Hermes,"Bureaucrat Grade 34, Hermes Conrad.",Hermes,"Is who I am. And now I am proud to present the owner and founder of Planet Express, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth!"
Hermes,"Is who I am. And now I am proud to present the owner and founder of Planet Express, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth!",Farnsworth,You're all fired.
Farnsworth,You're all fired.,Hermes,Sweet bongo of the Congo!
Hermes,Sweet bongo of the Congo!,Farnsworth,"In fact, you were fired two years ago! That's when we were shut down by the delivery network. "
Farnsworth,"In fact, you were fired two years ago! That's when we were shut down by the delivery network. ",Farnsworth,"Yes, I'm afraid the brainless drones who run the network canceled our license. "
Farnsworth,"Yes, I'm afraid the brainless drones who run the network canceled our license. ",Fry,We were canceled? 
Fry,We were canceled? ,Farnsworth,"Oh, it's terrible. Just terrible. Well, clear out your desks and move along. Chop-chop. "
Farnsworth,"Oh, it's terrible. Just terrible. Well, clear out your desks and move along. Chop-chop. ",Farnsworth,Yes? I see. 
Farnsworth,Yes? I see. ,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who canceled us were themselves fired for incompetence. "
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who canceled us were themselves fired for incompetence. ",Staff,Woohoo!
Staff,Woohoo!,Zoidberg,Yahoo! 
Zoidberg,Yahoo! ,Farnsworth,"And not just fired, but beaten up, too. And pretty badly. "
Farnsworth,"And not just fired, but beaten up, too. And pretty badly. ",Staff,Woo!
Staff,Woo!,Farnsworth,"In fact, most of them died from their injuries."
Farnsworth,"In fact, most of them died from their injuries.",Farnsworth,And then they were ground up into a fine pink powder. 
Farnsworth,And then they were ground up into a fine pink powder. ,Fry,Why?
Fry,Why?,Farnsworth,"Oh, it's got a million and one uses. "
Farnsworth,"Oh, it's got a million and one uses. ",Farnsworth,"Ahhh, that soothes the fire. "
Farnsworth,"Ahhh, that soothes the fire. ",Leela,So what does this mean for us and our many fans? 
Leela,So what does this mean for us and our many fans? ,Farnsworth,It means we're back on the air! 
Farnsworth,It means we're back on the air! ,Farnsworth,"Yes, flying on the air in our mighty spaceship! "
Farnsworth,"Yes, flying on the air in our mighty spaceship! ",Staff,Woooohoooo!
Staff,Woooohoooo!,Zoidberg,Yayyy! 
Zoidberg,Yayyy! ,Bender,"We're back, baby! "
Bender,"We're back, baby! ",All,"Party! Go, go, go! "
All,"Party! Go, go, go! ",Cubert,"Lower, lawn mower! "
Cubert,"Lower, lawn mower! ",Hermes,"What's the matter, robot? You got a rod up your spine? "
Hermes,"What's the matter, robot? You got a rod up your spine? ",Bender,"Yes, I do. That's how I'm built. "
Bender,"Yes, I do. That's how I'm built. ",All,Hooray. 
All,Hooray. ,Fry,Way to bend it! 
Fry,Way to bend it! ,Bender,"You're the greatest, Bender! "
Bender,"You're the greatest, Bender! ",Hermes,"In Jamaica, we got 10-story office buildings lower than that. "
Hermes,"In Jamaica, we got 10-story office buildings lower than that. ",Leela,"Let's see you beat it, Rastaman. "
Leela,"Let's see you beat it, Rastaman. ",Staff,Ooooohh... 
Staff,Ooooohh... ,Hermes,Let's make it interesting. Fetch down one of them sabers. 
Hermes,Let's make it interesting. Fetch down one of them sabers. ,Bender,"Oh, flexible. That would go good up my spine. "
Bender,"Oh, flexible. That would go good up my spine. ",Hermes,Lower. 
Hermes,Lower. ,Bender,The fat guy wins! 
Bender,The fat guy wins! ,Fry,"Go, Hermes! "
Fry,"Go, Hermes! ",Hermes,That's why they call me 11-inch Conrad. 
Hermes,That's why they call me 11-inch Conrad. ,Scruffy,"Oh, no. "
Scruffy,"Oh, no. ",Phillip,J. Fry
Phillip,J. Fry,Fry,"Can you save Hermes, Dr. Goodensexy? "
Fry,"Can you save Hermes, Dr. Goodensexy? ",Dr.,"Cahill: I told you, my name is Dr. Cahill. "
Dr.,"Cahill: I told you, my name is Dr. Cahill. ",Hermes,Figures I'd get mangled while the blonde bimbo's on duty. 
Hermes,Figures I'd get mangled while the blonde bimbo's on duty. ,Dr.,"Cahill: I'm a doctor, sir. The mere fact that I'm blonde and have a breathy voice, full sensual lips, and a steaming hot body doesn't make me a bimbo. "
Dr.,"Cahill: I'm a doctor, sir. The mere fact that I'm blonde and have a breathy voice, full sensual lips, and a steaming hot body doesn't make me a bimbo. ",Zoidberg,Tell me about it. 
Zoidberg,Tell me about it. ,Hermes,"I think we've all learned a thing or two about sexual stereotypes. While my head's slowly dying 'cause I'm not in a jar yet, you bimbo! "
Hermes,"I think we've all learned a thing or two about sexual stereotypes. While my head's slowly dying 'cause I'm not in a jar yet, you bimbo! ",Dr.,"Cahill: Oh, right. Ditzy-witzy! Lars, got another jar job! "
Dr.,"Cahill: Oh, right. Ditzy-witzy! Lars, got another jar job! ",Lars,"Oh, sorry, Doctor. I was disinfecting Courtney Love... Oh, hello. "
Lars,"Oh, sorry, Doctor. I was disinfecting Courtney Love... Oh, hello. ",Leela,What are you looking at? Is it the eye? 
Leela,What are you looking at? Is it the eye? ,Lars,"Guilty as charged. It's a nice looking eye, and there's plenty of it. "
Lars,"Guilty as charged. It's a nice looking eye, and there's plenty of it. ",Leela,Oh. Do I know you? 
Leela,Oh. Do I know you? ,Lars,Apparently not. Hi. I'm Lars. 
Lars,Apparently not. Hi. I'm Lars. ,Leela,Oh. I'm Leela. Nice to meet you. 
Leela,Oh. I'm Leela. Nice to meet you. ,Lars,Nice to be met. 
Lars,Nice to be met. ,Hermes,"Pick up ladies on your own time, you shiny-headed goat! "
Hermes,"Pick up ladies on your own time, you shiny-headed goat! ",Lars,"Sir, you're just a little enraged 'cause you're dying. Up and away! "
Lars,"Sir, you're just a little enraged 'cause you're dying. Up and away! ",Amy,Lars is so flirting with you. 
Amy,Lars is so flirting with you. ,Leela,He is so not. He's just being polite. 
Leela,He is so not. He's just being polite. ,Fry,"Who does he think he is, being polite to you? You want me to beat him up?"
Fry,"Who does he think he is, being polite to you? You want me to beat him up?",Leela,No. Stop being so immature.
Leela,No. Stop being so immature.,Fry,I'll show her who's immature. 
Fry,I'll show her who's immature. ,Fry,Charles de Gaulle? Never heard of you.
Fry,Charles de Gaulle? Never heard of you.,Charles,de Gualle's Head: I freed France from the Nazis and...
Charles,de Gualle's Head: I freed France from the Nazis and...,Fry,"Hey, Leela. I'm some French guy."
Fry,"Hey, Leela. I'm some French guy.",Bender,"Rock that Frenchman, baby!"
Bender,"Rock that Frenchman, baby!",LaBarbara,"Oh, my poor little love pirate of the Caribbean!"
LaBarbara,"Oh, my poor little love pirate of the Caribbean!",Hermes,"There, there, wife. Everything will be all--"
Hermes,"There, there, wife. Everything will be all--",LaBarbara,"Okay, look, Hermes, we got to think of the boy. He needs a daddy."
LaBarbara,"Okay, look, Hermes, we got to think of the boy. He needs a daddy.",Hermes,He has a daddy!
Hermes,He has a daddy!,LaBarbara,"No, he got two half-daddies. Will his body be all right?"
LaBarbara,"No, he got two half-daddies. Will his body be all right?",Dr.,"Cahill: Yes, but it may take a few days."
Dr.,"Cahill: Yes, but it may take a few days.",LaBarbara,"No, not soon enough. Come, Dwight, let's find you a handsome new father."
LaBarbara,"No, not soon enough. Come, Dwight, let's find you a handsome new father.",Hermes,"LaBarbara, no!"
Hermes,"LaBarbara, no!",Bender,"It's okay, Hermes. We're all here for you."
Bender,"It's okay, Hermes. We're all here for you.",Staff,Woohoo!
Staff,Woohoo!,Bender,"So long, jerk."
Bender,"So long, jerk.",Leela,It feels great to be back at the wheel after two long years. 
Leela,It feels great to be back at the wheel after two long years. ,Fry,That's not the wheel. 
Fry,That's not the wheel. ,Leela,It's nice out. 
Leela,It's nice out. ,Fry,could you be? 
Fry,could you be? ,Zoidberg,Watch and learn. 
Zoidberg,Watch and learn. ,Bender,"You know, it's funny. "
Bender,"You know, it's funny. ",Fry,What? 
Fry,What? ,Bender,Your wiener! 
Bender,Your wiener! ,Farnsworth,"Well, I'm going in the water to prune up a bit before I strut. Who's with me? "
Farnsworth,"Well, I'm going in the water to prune up a bit before I strut. Who's with me? ",Amy,I'm in! 
Amy,I'm in! ,Leela,I'm in. 
Leela,I'm in. ,Bender,"Yeah, I'll go. "
Bender,"Yeah, I'll go. ",Bartender,Why are you talking to my penis? 
Bartender,Why are you talking to my penis? ,Fry,"Oh, sorry. Sign here. "
Fry,"Oh, sorry. Sign here. ",Bartender,Mind if I use your pen? 
Bartender,Mind if I use your pen? ,Fry,"Well, that's not a... "
Fry,"Well, that's not a... ",Fry,Thank you for using Planet Express. 
Fry,Thank you for using Planet Express. ,Leela,"Hey, Fry, I didn't know you had a tattoo of Bender on your ass. "
Leela,"Hey, Fry, I didn't know you had a tattoo of Bender on your ass. ",Fry,Me neither. 
Fry,Me neither. ,Bender,You got a tattoo of me? Neat. It's like looking in a smelly mirror. 
Bender,You got a tattoo of me? Neat. It's like looking in a smelly mirror. ,Farnsworth,So he's got a little ink. Big whoop. 
Farnsworth,So he's got a little ink. Big whoop. ,Bender,"Sweet photons. I don't know if you're waves or particles, but you go down smooth. "
Bender,"Sweet photons. I don't know if you're waves or particles, but you go down smooth. ",Nudar,"Sir, would you care to sign our petition? "
Nudar,"Sir, would you care to sign our petition? ",Bender,"I support and oppose many things, but not strongly enough to pick up a pen. "
Bender,"I support and oppose many things, but not strongly enough to pick up a pen. ",Nudar,That's just what the guys who oppose the things you support want you to do. 
Nudar,That's just what the guys who oppose the things you support want you to do. ,Bender,Really? Down with those guys! 
Bender,Really? Down with those guys! ,Fleb,And we'll need your e-mail address. 
Fleb,And we'll need your e-mail address. ,Bender,"Hmm, they say you shouldn't give out your e-mail address. "
Bender,"Hmm, they say you shouldn't give out your e-mail address. ",Nudar,Right. That's just what those same guys say. 
Nudar,Right. That's just what those same guys say. ,Bender,Them again? 
Bender,Them again? ,Leela,I don't quite understand what this petition's about. 
Leela,I don't quite understand what this petition's about. ,Schlump,"Um,... animals?"
Schlump,"Um,... animals?",Leela,Aw. 
Leela,Aw. ,Schlump,And your e-mail address. 
Schlump,And your e-mail address. ,Leela,"You won't send me any spam, will you? "
Leela,"You won't send me any spam, will you? ",Nudar,"Oh, no, no, no, no. Asterisk. "
Nudar,"Oh, no, no, no, no. Asterisk. ",Leela's,Wrist Thingy: You've got spam. 
Leela's,Wrist Thingy: You've got spam. ,Leela,"Spam, spam, junk. The very last pygmy rhino is going extinct? Unless it gets my credit card number? "
Leela,"Spam, spam, junk. The very last pygmy rhino is going extinct? Unless it gets my credit card number? ",Amy,"Spam. Spam. Hi. How are you? Oh, that must be from Kiffy. "
Amy,"Spam. Spam. Hi. How are you? Oh, that must be from Kiffy. ",Amy's,"computer: Hi, how are you? Low, low prices on erectile dysfunction remedies, sleeping pills, old-person drugs, and antidepressants."
Amy's,"computer: Hi, how are you? Low, low prices on erectile dysfunction remedies, sleeping pills, old-person drugs, and antidepressants.",Amy,"Antidepressants? Well, I certainly don't want to get depressed. "
Amy,"Antidepressants? Well, I certainly don't want to get depressed. ",Amy's,computer: Please enter credit card number. 
Amy's,computer: Please enter credit card number. ,Amy,Is cash okay? 
Amy,Is cash okay? ,Bender,"Hmmm, scientists at West Johnson Pornoversity need test subjects to rate top quality roborotica. Ooh, top-quality. "
Bender,"Hmmm, scientists at West Johnson Pornoversity need test subjects to rate top quality roborotica. Ooh, top-quality. ",Bender,"Warning, perform virus scan? Pffft, I'm waiting for porn over here. "
Bender,"Warning, perform virus scan? Pffft, I'm waiting for porn over here. ",Bender,"Oh, yeah, come on, baby. "
Bender,"Oh, yeah, come on, baby. ",Bender,Roborotic.... 
Bender,Roborotic.... ,Zoidberg,"Friends, friends! His Majesty Prince Adisaraki O. Zoidberg of Nigeria died. "
Zoidberg,"Friends, friends! His Majesty Prince Adisaraki O. Zoidberg of Nigeria died. ",Amy,That's so sad. When will those antidepressants get here? 
Amy,That's so sad. When will those antidepressants get here? ,Zoidberg,"Wait, there's more. According to this e-mail, I, Zoidberg, am his next of kin. Once I wire some good-faith money to an overseas bank account, I'll inherit his kingdom, his canoe, and his plump young wife. "
Zoidberg,"Wait, there's more. According to this e-mail, I, Zoidberg, am his next of kin. Once I wire some good-faith money to an overseas bank account, I'll inherit his kingdom, his canoe, and his plump young wife. ",Hermes,You dumb stumps. Don't you realize you're being scammed? 
Hermes,You dumb stumps. Don't you realize you're being scammed? ,Zoidberg,"That is low, Hermes. Just because you don't have a body, you don't want anyone else to be prince of Nigeria. Well, try and stop me from wiring that money. "
Zoidberg,"That is low, Hermes. Just because you don't have a body, you don't want anyone else to be prince of Nigeria. Well, try and stop me from wiring that money. ",Farnsworth,"What's going on here? According to my illegal key logging software, you've all been giving out personal information over the Internet. If Hermes were here, he'd fire you all."
Farnsworth,"What's going on here? According to my illegal key logging software, you've all been giving out personal information over the Internet. If Hermes were here, he'd fire you all.",Hermes,I am here!
Farnsworth,"Now, it's not hard to spot a phony Internet come-on. Get rich quick x7 q? Phony. Lose weight with space parasites? Phony. What's this? I've won the Spanish National Lottery? ",Leela,"No, it's a scam! "
Leela,"No, it's a scam! ",Farnsworth,"Yes, yes, a scam. My goodness, I'm rich! And to think I didn't even know I had a ticket. I just need to wire some collateral to collect the winnings. "
Farnsworth,"Yes, yes, a scam. My goodness, I'm rich! And to think I didn't even know I had a ticket. I just need to wire some collateral to collect the winnings. ",Hermes,"Professor, stop! You're giving away personal information! "
Hermes,"Professor, stop! You're giving away personal information! ",Farnsworth,I can afford to give away anything I want. I've won the Spanish National Lottery. 
Farnsworth,I can afford to give away anything I want. I've won the Spanish National Lottery. ,Amy,"No, don't! "
Amy,"No, don't! ",Leela,It's a scam! 
Leela,It's a scam! ,Hermes,Why won't anybody listen to me?!? 
Hermes,Why won't anybody listen to me?!? ,Farnsworth,And my mother's maiden name and her bank account numbers and ... There! I'm rich. Rich. Rich! 
Farnsworth,And my mother's maiden name and her bank account numbers and ... There! I'm rich. Rich. Rich! ,Farnsworth,"That must be my $400 now. Hello. Or should I say, 'Buenos dias? "
Farnsworth,"That must be my $400 now. Hello. Or should I say, 'Buenos dias? ",Nudar,Hi. We own your company now. 
Nudar,Hi. We own your company now. ,Farnsworth,Hwhaa? 
Farnsworth,Hwhaa? ,Bender,"I'll deal with these guys. Welcome, boss."
Bender,"I'll deal with these guys. Welcome, boss.",Amy,"Hey, what the hell? "
Bender,Presenting our new masters! ,Bender,"[carrying a stack of crates bigger than he is]: Where shall I put these auto-dialers, kind master? "
Bender,"[carrying a stack of crates bigger than he is]: Where shall I put these auto-dialers, kind master? ",Nudar,Between the password crank and the spamjaculator. Come on! We've got a whole planet to scam. And bring me some more Gummi Fungus! 
Nudar,Between the password crank and the spamjaculator. Come on! We've got a whole planet to scam. And bring me some more Gummi Fungus! ,Leela,We don't have to stand here and take abuse from a gross nerd. 
Leela,We don't have to stand here and take abuse from a gross nerd. ,Amy,Yeah! 
Amy,Yeah! ,Fry,Yeah!
Fry,Yeah!,Zoidberg,Yeah! 
Zoidberg,Yeah! ,Leela,Hi-yah! 
Leela,Hi-yah! ,Nudar,"Now get back to work, you turkeys! Planet Express is still in business. We've got crap loads of quote-unquote merchandise to deliver. "
Nudar,"Now get back to work, you turkeys! Planet Express is still in business. We've got crap loads of quote-unquote merchandise to deliver. ",Fleb,"Ship them out, Your Highness. "
Fleb,"Ship them out, Your Highness. ",Zoidberg,"Finally, some respect. "
Zoidberg,"Finally, some respect. ",Amy,I feel a little better. 
Amy,I feel a little better. ,Bender,"Those marvelous scammers sure scammed us, huh? "
Bender,"Those marvelous scammers sure scammed us, huh? ",Leela,How can you just sit there kissing the aliens' butt flaps? Don't you realize you are totally under their control? 
Leela,How can you just sit there kissing the aliens' butt flaps? Don't you realize you are totally under their control? ,Bender,"Of course I realize it. Does that mean I can't enjoy it? Hee hee hee hee. Boy, were we suckers. "
Bender,"Of course I realize it. Does that mean I can't enjoy it? Hee hee hee hee. Boy, were we suckers. ",Lars,"Greetings, earthlings. "
Lars,"Greetings, earthlings. ",Fry,"Oh, hooray. It's handsome Lars and his fabulous jars. "
Fry,"Oh, hooray. It's handsome Lars and his fabulous jars. ",Lars,"Hello, everyone who isn't Leela. And a special hello to everyone else. "
Lars,"Hello, everyone who isn't Leela. And a special hello to everyone else. ",Hermes,Shut your lockers and get to class. How's my body doing? 
Hermes,Shut your lockers and get to class. How's my body doing? ,Lars,"Oh, I'm afraid it's behind schedule. The museum got tricked into giving all its funding to something called the Scamming Sciences Institute. "
Lars,"Oh, I'm afraid it's behind schedule. The museum got tricked into giving all its funding to something called the Scamming Sciences Institute. ",Bender,It's a fake place. 
Bender,It's a fake place. ,Hermes,"Cut to the chase, baldy. When do I get my me back? "
Hermes,"Cut to the chase, baldy. When do I get my me back? ",Lars,"Well, it could be months, or even years. "
Lars,"Well, it could be months, or even years. ",Hermes,No! That body's the cornerstone of my marriage. What's LaBarbara going to do? 
Hermes,No! That body's the cornerstone of my marriage. What's LaBarbara going to do? ,Amy,Spluh! She's going to go back to her first husband. 
Amy,Spluh! She's going to go back to her first husband. ,Zoidberg,Barbados Slim? I love that guy. 
Zoidberg,Barbados Slim? I love that guy. ,Hermes,Everybody loves Slim. 
Hermes,Everybody loves Slim. ,Hermes,He's the only man to ever win Olympic gold medals in both limbo and sex. 
Hermes,He's the only man to ever win Olympic gold medals in both limbo and sex. ,Lars,"Well, maybe I should get going. "
Lars,"Well, maybe I should get going. ",Fry,"Yes, I'll show you out. "
Fry,"Yes, I'll show you out. ",Amy,"No, Leela will show him out. "
Amy,"No, Leela will show him out. ",Leela,"No, Leela will show you out. Me. Leela. "
Leela,"No, Leela will show you out. Me. Leela. ",Lars,"So your friend, Fry, seems nice. Are you and he dati--? "
Lars,"So your friend, Fry, seems nice. Are you and he dati--? ",Leela,Nope. 
Leela,Nope. ,Lars,"Good, because I was maybe thinking of asking you out for dinner. "
Lars,"Good, because I was maybe thinking of asking you out for dinner. ",Leela,"Ohhhh. I'll start maybe thinking about saying Sure, when? "
Leela,"Ohhhh. I'll start maybe thinking about saying Sure, when? ",Lars,Let me maybe give it some thought. 
Lars,Let me maybe give it some thought. ,Lars,Tomorrow at 8:00? 
Lars,Tomorrow at 8:00? ,Leela,Okay. 
Leela,Okay. ,Fry,It's not fair. I've loved Leela since the day I came to the future. Did I show you the macaroni valentine I made for her? 
Fry,It's not fair. I've loved Leela since the day I came to the future. Did I show you the macaroni valentine I made for her? ,Amy,Yes. 
Amy,Yes. ,Fry,Look at it again. 
Fry,Look at it again. ,Fry,"I know she thinks I'm immature, but someday I won't be. And deep down in my heart, I know we'll end up together. It's all there in the macaroni. "
Fry,"I know she thinks I'm immature, but someday I won't be. And deep down in my heart, I know we'll end up together. It's all there in the macaroni. ",Leela,Lars asked me out! 
Leela,Lars asked me out! ,Bender,"What are you doing, wonderful masters? "
Bender,"What are you doing, wonderful masters? ",Fleb,Sprunjing for information. 
Fleb,Sprunjing for information. ,Nudar,"Oh! There's something here. I can sprunje it. Robot, tear it open! "
Nudar,"Oh! There's something here. I can sprunje it. Robot, tear it open! ",Bender,"Goody, goody, goody, goody! "
Bender,"Goody, goody, goody, goody! ",Zoidberg,What's that thing on your neck? 
Zoidberg,What's that thing on your neck? ,Nudar,"Checking out my sprunjer, huh? "
Nudar,"Checking out my sprunjer, huh? ",Zoidberg,I guess. What does it do? 
Zoidberg,I guess. What does it do? ,Nudar,Information. 
Nudar,Information. ,Zoidberg,Lucky you. All I have is a gland that gives off foul odors when I'm bored. 
Zoidberg,Lucky you. All I have is a gland that gives off foul odors when I'm bored. ,Bender,"Hey, look, a safe! "
Bender,"Hey, look, a safe! ",Farnsworth,That's my safe. I call keep-offsies. 
Farnsworth,That's my safe. I call keep-offsies. ,Nudar,No callsies! Open it! 
Nudar,No callsies! Open it! ,Schlump,"It's a gold mine. Tax forms, Social Security cards. Combination hair, blood and stool samples! "
Schlump,"It's a gold mine. Tax forms, Social Security cards. Combination hair, blood and stool samples! ",Fry,I don't get it. How can you say Lars is more mature than me? 
Fry,I don't get it. How can you say Lars is more mature than me? ,Leela,"Well, for one thing, his checkbook doesn't have the Hulk on it. "
Leela,"Well, for one thing, his checkbook doesn't have the Hulk on it. ",Nudar,Who are you? 
Nudar,Who are you? ,Fry,Philip J. Fry. 
Fry,Philip J. Fry. ,Schlump,"Social Security Number 03280810? Stool type, P-negative? "
Schlump,"Social Security Number 03280810? Stool type, P-negative? ",Fry,That's right. 
Fry,That's right. ,Nudar,I've never detected so much information before. I think it may be a Level 87 code. 
Nudar,I've never detected so much information before. I think it may be a Level 87 code. ,Fleb,"Level 87? Can it be? I thought it was only a legend, but the sprunjer never lies. "
Fleb,"Level 87? Can it be? I thought it was only a legend, but the sprunjer never lies. ",Nudar,It's in his pants! 
Nudar,It's in his pants! ,Fry,What the hell are you talking about? 
Fry,What the hell are you talking about? ,Nudar,"[holding a laser to Farnsworth's head]: Faster, faster! "
Nudar,"[holding a laser to Farnsworth's head]: Faster, faster! ",Farnsworth,I'm sciencing as fast as I can. 
Farnsworth,I'm sciencing as fast as I can. ,Bender,"What do you say, folks? Hot or not? "
Bender,"What do you say, folks? Hot or not? ",Nudar,I'm not seeing any information. Do more things! 
Nudar,I'm not seeing any information. Do more things! ,Nudar,"You, boogerbot, read the code or I'll shoot this guy. "
Nudar,"You, boogerbot, read the code or I'll shoot this guy. ",Bender,Who the hell is he? 
Bender,Who the hell is he? ,Scruffy,"I'm Scruffy, the janitor. "
Scruffy,"I'm Scruffy, the janitor. ",Bender,"Hang on, Scruffy! Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, one, one, one, one, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one. "
Bender,"Hang on, Scruffy! Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, one, one, one, one, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one. ",Fleb,A time sphere. 
Fleb,A time sphere. ,Nudar,"Naked brothers, we have sprunjed upon the universal machine language time code. The key to time travel! "
Nudar,"Naked brothers, we have sprunjed upon the universal machine language time code. The key to time travel! ",Leela,What's the secret of time travel doing on Fry's ass? 
Leela,What's the secret of time travel doing on Fry's ass? ,Fry,It was bound to be somewhere. 
Fry,It was bound to be somewhere. ,Fleb,Beyond this shimmering portal lie all the glories of history. 
Fleb,Beyond this shimmering portal lie all the glories of history. ,Nudar,And we can steal them! We just go to the past and take stuff with our superior weapons!
Nudar,And we can steal them! We just go to the past and take stuff with our superior weapons!,Nibbler,"Stop, you fools! "
Nibbler,"Stop, you fools! ",Amy,What's going on? 
Amy,What's going on? ,Farnsworth,What is happening? 
Farnsworth,What is happening? ,Leela,"Nibbler, you... You can talk? "
Leela,"Nibbler, you... You can talk? ",Nibbler,"I can do more than talk. I can pontificate. You must not use the code of codes. With each and every use, you risk tearing the universe asunder. "
Nibbler,"I can do more than talk. I can pontificate. You must not use the code of codes. With each and every use, you risk tearing the universe asunder. ",Amy,"Oh, he's so adorable. "
Amy,"Oh, he's so adorable. ",Fleb,The poodle-monkey may be right. The legend warns that the code is powerful and dangerous. 
Fleb,The poodle-monkey may be right. The legend warns that the code is powerful and dangerous. ,Nudar,"My God. We'd better use it only three or four times. Six, max. "
Nudar,"My God. We'd better use it only three or four times. Six, max. ",Nibbler,But even a single use could shatter the universe! 
Nibbler,But even a single use could shatter the universe! ,Nudar,Got it. Two or three times. 
Nudar,Got it. Two or three times. ,Nibbler,"I see I have no choice. Nibblonians, attack! "
Nibbler,"I see I have no choice. Nibblonians, attack! ",Schlump,And the pitch! 
Schlump,And the pitch! ,Nibblonian,"Mayday, mayday! "
Nibblonian,"Mayday, mayday! ",Aliens,Hey! Hey! Hey! 
Aliens,Hey! Hey! Hey! ,Nibblonian,Scamper! 
Nibblonian,Scamper! ,Zoidberg,Aawww... 
Zoidberg,Aawww... ,Nibbler,"Alas, our kitten-class attack ships were no match for their mighty chairs. The universe is doomed. Doomed! "
Nibbler,"Alas, our kitten-class attack ships were no match for their mighty chairs. The universe is doomed. Doomed! ",Fry,Can I pull up my pants now? 
Fry,Can I pull up my pants now? ,Nibbler,Dooooooomed! 
Nibbler,Dooooooomed! ,Nudar,Stand back you wing wangs. I'm gonna try out this timesphere with a quick test drive to yesterday. 
Nudar,Stand back you wing wangs. I'm gonna try out this timesphere with a quick test drive to yesterday. ,Farnsworth,Bushwah. You can't go mucking about in the past without creating paradoxes. 
Farnsworth,Bushwah. You can't go mucking about in the past without creating paradoxes. ,Nibbler,"I'm afraid he can. It's a paradox correcting time code. It all works perfectly. Except when it rips open the universe. Don't do it, I beg you ... "
Nibbler,"I'm afraid he can. It's a paradox correcting time code. It all works perfectly. Except when it rips open the universe. Don't do it, I beg you ... ",Nudar,"Yesterday please, and make it snappy. "
Nudar,"Yesterday please, and make it snappy. ",Crew,wha??? 
Crew,wha??? ,Nudar,Hello. 
Nudar,Hello. ,Nudar-2,Howdy. 
Nudar-2,Howdy. ,Bender,Hey! What the ...? 
Bender,Hey! What the ...? ,Zoidberg,"There was one, but now there's two. "
Zoidberg,"There was one, but now there's two. ",Nudar,"Nothing gets past you eagle eye. I went back to last night and met the me of that time for a drink. One thing led to another and we ended up at my place, or should I say our place. "
Nudar,"Nothing gets past you eagle eye. I went back to last night and met the me of that time for a drink. One thing led to another and we ended up at my place, or should I say our place. ",Leela,Blech. 
Leela,Blech. ,Nudar,"Oh come on, ya bunch of prudes! "
Nudar,"Oh come on, ya bunch of prudes! ",Farnsworth,"This isn't merely revolting, it's impossible to boot. I know a paradox when I see one. "
Farnsworth,"This isn't merely revolting, it's impossible to boot. I know a paradox when I see one. ",Farnsworth,Whaaa? 
Farnsworth,Whaaa? ,Farnsworth,"Ahh, paradox resolved. Someone get a mop. "
Farnsworth,"Ahh, paradox resolved. Someone get a mop. ",Dwight,"You're looking well, pops. "
Dwight,"You're looking well, pops. ",Hermes,"How can you look me in the eye 'n eye and say that? I'm nothin' but a brain. A useless, filthy brain. "
Hermes,"How can you look me in the eye 'n eye and say that? I'm nothin' but a brain. A useless, filthy brain. ",Barbados,Slim: You forgot lice infested. 
Barbados,Slim: You forgot lice infested. ,Hermes,"I didn't forget it, I just chose not to .... Barbados Slim! What are you doin' here? IS there somethin' goin' on between you two? "
Hermes,"I didn't forget it, I just chose not to .... Barbados Slim! What are you doin' here? IS there somethin' goin' on between you two? ",LaBarbara,"Oh no no no no, we jus' ah happened to run into each other shortly after your accident. "
LaBarbara,"Oh no no no no, we jus' ah happened to run into each other shortly after your accident. ",Slim,And every night since then. 
Slim,And every night since then. ,LaBarbara,You're so crazy. 
LaBarbara,You're so crazy. ,Hermes,"Woman! No! Ohh, who am I kiddin'? Without my body, I'm a nobody. "
Hermes,"Woman! No! Ohh, who am I kiddin'? Without my body, I'm a nobody. ",LaBarbara,I'm sorry Hermes. But look at Barbados. You can't argue with those luscious pecks. 
LaBarbara,I'm sorry Hermes. But look at Barbados. You can't argue with those luscious pecks. ,Hermes,No I can't. But I can ask him to stop wiggling them in my face. 
Hermes,No I can't. But I can ask him to stop wiggling them in my face. ,Slim,I'm not wiggling them. They do that by themselves. 
Slim,I'm not wiggling them. They do that by themselves. ,Nudar,I think I'll go back in time and steal the Liberty Bell before it cracked. Or is the crack the valuable part? 
Nudar,I think I'll go back in time and steal the Liberty Bell before it cracked. Or is the crack the valuable part? ,Farnsworth,"I don't know, you naked crook!"
Farnsworth,"I don't know, you naked crook!",Fleb,"We have a problem Nudar. It's a one way time code. It can take us to the past, but it can't bring us back to the present. "
Fleb,"We have a problem Nudar. It's a one way time code. It can take us to the past, but it can't bring us back to the present. ",Bender,"Oh oh oh oh oh oh! Masters, if I might, let me do the stealing. I'll go to the past and snatch everything I can get my greasy mitts on. Then, as a robot, I could just wait it out for a few centuries in the limestone cavern beneath this building. Oh, it'll be ever so much fun. "
Bender,"Oh oh oh oh oh oh! Masters, if I might, let me do the stealing. I'll go to the past and snatch everything I can get my greasy mitts on. Then, as a robot, I could just wait it out for a few centuries in the limestone cavern beneath this building. Oh, it'll be ever so much fun. ",Nudar,"Hey, that's perfect. We sit back and let dum dum here do the stealing. "
Nudar,"Hey, that's perfect. We sit back and let dum dum here do the stealing. ",Bender,Dum dum away. Zero zero one one .... 
Bender,Dum dum away. Zero zero one one .... ,Leela,The Mona Lisa! 
Leela,The Mona Lisa! ,Bender,"Sorry, it's not quite finished. "
Bender,"Sorry, it's not quite finished. ",Schlump,Da Vinci give you any trouble? 
Schlump,Da Vinci give you any trouble? ,Bender.,Hahahahahaha. 
Bender.,Hahahahahaha. ,Farnsworth,Preposterous twaddlecock! Time travel is impossible. 
Farnsworth,Preposterous twaddlecock! Time travel is impossible. ,Fry,"But Professor, you time traveled yourself, remember, when we went back to Roswell? "
Fry,"But Professor, you time traveled yourself, remember, when we went back to Roswell? ",Farnsworth,"That proves nothing. And furthermore, you'd think I'd remember a thing like that. Plus, who are you anyway? "
Farnsworth,"That proves nothing. And furthermore, you'd think I'd remember a thing like that. Plus, who are you anyway? ",Bender,"Man, this is fun on a bun. Here I go again. "
Bender,"Man, this is fun on a bun. Here I go again. ",Nibbler,Oh no you don't. 
Nibbler,Oh no you don't. ,Bender,"Scarab, four arm, bird, bird, bird!"
Bender,"Scarab, four arm, bird, bird, bird!",Bender,"Boo! Hahahaha. Naw, it's just me, Bender. "
Bender,"Boo! Hahahaha. Naw, it's just me, Bender. ",Farnsworth,"I must tell you Hedonismbot, I hate to sell my doomsday devices to a private collector. But with my business stolen I have to make ends meet. You will be careful? "
Farnsworth,"I must tell you Hedonismbot, I hate to sell my doomsday devices to a private collector. But with my business stolen I have to make ends meet. You will be careful? ",Hedonismbot,"I shan't touch them till I've had Jambi lock the absinthe and ether away. Ohhhh, what does this one do? "
Hedonismbot,"I shan't touch them till I've had Jambi lock the absinthe and ether away. Ohhhh, what does this one do? ",Farnsworth,"Uh, that one kills everything everywhere. "
Farnsworth,"Uh, that one kills everything everywhere. ",Hedonismbot,How delightful. And this one? 
Hedonismbot,How delightful. And this one? ,Farnsworth,Sir! The sphereoboom is not for sale. 
Farnsworth,Sir! The sphereoboom is not for sale. ,Farnsworth,It's my sentimental favorite. 
Farnsworth,It's my sentimental favorite. ,Hedonismbot,"No need to explain. I too have known unconventional love. Perhaps you and I, and Jambi, could get together and compare notes sometime, eh? "
Hedonismbot,"No need to explain. I too have known unconventional love. Perhaps you and I, and Jambi, could get together and compare notes sometime, eh? ",MC,... resulting in peace between east and west coat rappers ... 
MC,... resulting in peace between east and west coat rappers ... ,MC,Good god! 
MC,Good god! ,Bender,"I accept this Nobel peace prize not just for myself, but for crime robots everywhere. Skål! "
Bender,"I accept this Nobel peace prize not just for myself, but for crime robots everywhere. Skål! ",Bender,"Not so neutral now, are you Sweden? "
Bender,"Not so neutral now, are you Sweden? ",Leela,Be honest with me. Does my eye look monstery? I don't want to look monstery for my date with Lars. 
Leela,Be honest with me. Does my eye look monstery? I don't want to look monstery for my date with Lars. ,Hermes,"At least a monster has a body. What I wouldn't give for Wolfman's torso, or any of the groovy ghoulies. "
Hermes,"At least a monster has a body. What I wouldn't give for Wolfman's torso, or any of the groovy ghoulies. ",Leela,"[looking at Lars' business card]: Ohh, I think I'll wear that slutty dress I've been saving for Easter. "
Leela,"[looking at Lars' business card]: Ohh, I think I'll wear that slutty dress I've been saving for Easter. ",Fry,[taking the card from Leela]: I'd like to punch Lars right in his ruggedly good looking face!
Fry,[taking the card from Leela]: I'd like to punch Lars right in his ruggedly good looking face!,Nudar,"Like all rich people, we're gonna need weapons to shoot poor people. "
Nudar,"Like all rich people, we're gonna need weapons to shoot poor people. ",Schlump,In self defense? 
Schlump,In self defense? ,Nudar,"Yes, that too. Bender, go steal the doomsday device chained to the professor's wrist. "
Nudar,"Yes, that too. Bender, go steal the doomsday device chained to the professor's wrist. ",Bender,"Never! Ha ha, I'm kidding. You guys know I have to do whatever you say. "
Bender,"Never! Ha ha, I'm kidding. You guys know I have to do whatever you say. ",Nudar,"Here, swap this for the real one. "
Nudar,"Here, swap this for the real one. ",Bender,Ahhh! The old switcheroo. 
Bender,Ahhh! The old switcheroo. ,Nudar,"Yes, but don't wake him. You'll need jeweler's tools and foot cup silencers. "
Nudar,"Yes, but don't wake him. You'll need jeweler's tools and foot cup silencers. ",Bender,"Hey! I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do. Bender knows when to use finesse. "
Bender,"Hey! I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do. Bender knows when to use finesse. ",Bender,Here ya go. 
Bender,Here ya go. ,Nudar,"Put it in the safe, clanky. "
Nudar,"Put it in the safe, clanky. ",Zoidberg,[OC]: Owww! 
Zoidberg,[OC]: Owww! ,Bender,Wheeeeeeee. 
Bender,Wheeeeeeee. ,Zoidberg,[voice over]: It's the damdest thing ... 
Zoidberg,[voice over]: It's the damdest thing ... ,Zoidberg,... there I was in the dumpster enjoying a moldy fudgesicle when suddenly your hand flies over and slaps me in the tokhes. 
Zoidberg,... there I was in the dumpster enjoying a moldy fudgesicle when suddenly your hand flies over and slaps me in the tokhes. ,Farnsworth,"Yes, well, these things happen. Fortunately the sphereoboom is still safe. "
Farnsworth,"Yes, well, these things happen. Fortunately the sphereoboom is still safe. ",Farnsworth,Scammed? Me!? Sweetheart?!? Ohh! 
Farnsworth,Scammed? Me!? Sweetheart?!? Ohh! ,Hermes,"You do a nice hand job, Zoidberg. Tell me, If I could find an undamaged body, could you recapitate me? "
Hermes,"You do a nice hand job, Zoidberg. Tell me, If I could find an undamaged body, could you recapitate me? ",Zoidberg,"Hermes, I'm a surgeon. When I see two body parts I sew them together and see what happens. "
Zoidberg,"Hermes, I'm a surgeon. When I see two body parts I sew them together and see what happens. ",Hermes,Hmmm. 
Hermes,Hmmm. ,Hermes,All I'm askin' is for you to go back in time to when I still had my body and bring it back for me. 
Hermes,All I'm askin' is for you to go back in time to when I still had my body and bring it back for me. ,Bender,What do I do with your old head? 
Bender,What do I do with your old head? ,Hermes,I don't care in the slightest. 
Hermes,I don't care in the slightest. ,Bender,Can do! 
Bender,Can do! ,Hermes,"Come on, mon! "
Hermes,"Come on, mon! ",Zoidberg,"Hermes, please. You can't hurry a delicate operation like this. "
Zoidberg,"Hermes, please. You can't hurry a delicate operation like this. ",Hermes,What are those? 
Hermes,What are those? ,Hermes,You incompetent crab! 
Hermes,You incompetent crab! ,Zoidberg,"I thought you were happy, your tail is wagging. "
Zoidberg,"I thought you were happy, your tail is wagging. ",Hermes,Grrrrrr.... 
Hermes,Grrrrrr.... ,Farnsworth,"I believe this paradoicality equation to be unsolvable, ergo time travel is impossible. But I can't quite prove it, Bubblegum. Perhaps you and your razzle dazzle Globetrotter calculus could ... "
Farnsworth,"I believe this paradoicality equation to be unsolvable, ergo time travel is impossible. But I can't quite prove it, Bubblegum. Perhaps you and your razzle dazzle Globetrotter calculus could ... ",Bubblegum,"Looks pretty damn solvable to me, Farnsy. Sweet Clyde, use variation of parameter and expand the Wronskian. "
Bubblegum,"Looks pretty damn solvable to me, Farnsy. Sweet Clyde, use variation of parameter and expand the Wronskian. ",Farnsworth,"Shizz, baby. So paradox free time travel is possible after all. "
Farnsworth,"Shizz, baby. So paradox free time travel is possible after all. ",Bubblegum,Right on. But dig this multiplicand here. 
Bubblegum,Right on. But dig this multiplicand here. ,Farnsworth,The doom field? That must be what corrects the paradoxes. 
Farnsworth,The doom field? That must be what corrects the paradoxes. ,Curly,"Joe: When that momma rises exponentially, it could rupture the very fabric of causality. "
Curly,"Joe: When that momma rises exponentially, it could rupture the very fabric of causality. ",Nibbler,That's what I've been trying to tell you. 
Nibbler,That's what I've been trying to tell you. ,Farnsworth,"Hermes, you got your body back. Hurrah! "
Farnsworth,"Hermes, you got your body back. Hurrah! ",Hermes,"Yes, but not the original. Bender went back in time and picked up a copy. "
Hermes,"Yes, but not the original. Bender went back in time and picked up a copy. ",Bubblegum,"A copy! Funky cold medina. According to this equation, a time travel duplicate results in a complex denominator in the causality ratio. "
Bubblegum,"A copy! Funky cold medina. According to this equation, a time travel duplicate results in a complex denominator in the causality ratio. ",Sweet,Clyde: Oh Snap! Bet you know what that means. 
Sweet,Clyde: Oh Snap! Bet you know what that means. ,Hermes,"I can guess. Actually, I can't guess. "
Hermes,"I can guess. Actually, I can't guess. ",Bubblegum,"Prof, you got a doom meter in this lab. "
Bubblegum,"Prof, you got a doom meter in this lab. ",Farnsworth,"Good Lord, Bubblegum. The duplicate body is emitting doom at ten times the back ground level. "
Farnsworth,"Good Lord, Bubblegum. The duplicate body is emitting doom at ten times the back ground level. ",Bubblegum,I thought as much. A duplicate body is always doomed. It's just a matter of time. 
Bubblegum,I thought as much. A duplicate body is always doomed. It's just a matter of time. ,Hermes,I don't care. I just need it long enough to bird dog in an win LaBarbara back. 
Hermes,I don't care. I just need it long enough to bird dog in an win LaBarbara back. ,Bubblegum,Best bird dog fast my brother. 
Bubblegum,Best bird dog fast my brother. ,Hermes,That the way I bird dog best. 
Hermes,That the way I bird dog best. ,Lars,"Drink, quick. I can't balance it much longer. "
Lars,"Drink, quick. I can't balance it much longer. ",Lars,Yes! 
Lars,Yes! ,Leela,This is so much fun Lars. Most men are intimidated by the fact that I could kill them with the flick of my wrist. 
Leela,This is so much fun Lars. Most men are intimidated by the fact that I could kill them with the flick of my wrist. ,Lars,"Well not me. 'Cause if you do, you'll be stuck with the check. "
Lars,"Well not me. 'Cause if you do, you'll be stuck with the check. ",Elzar,"Folks, care for a little fresh ground executive? "
Elzar,"Folks, care for a little fresh ground executive? ",Leela,Please. 
Leela,Please. ,Elzar,Bam! 
Elzar,Bam! ,Elzar,"Don't get excited kids, this thing's got heart shaped nostrils. Want to see it make a star? "
Elzar,"Don't get excited kids, this thing's got heart shaped nostrils. Want to see it make a star? ",Leela,and Lars: No! 
Leela,and Lars: No! ,Bender,"Here's your Gutenberg Bible master. Plus the Colonel's secret recipe: Chicken, Grease, Salt. "
Bender,"Here's your Gutenberg Bible master. Plus the Colonel's secret recipe: Chicken, Grease, Salt. ",Fleb,"Well, that does it. We've got every valuable object in history. "
Fleb,"Well, that does it. We've got every valuable object in history. ",Fry,Owww! 
Fry,Owww! ,Nudar,Hmm. Now that I'm rich I suddenly care if the universe gets destroyed. We can't use that dangerous time code again. Blank it from the robot's memory. 
Nudar,Hmm. Now that I'm rich I suddenly care if the universe gets destroyed. We can't use that dangerous time code again. Blank it from the robot's memory. ,Bender,Ahhhhh. 
Bender,Ahhhhh. ,Nudar,I'll vaporize this guy so his ass doesn't fall into the wrong hands. 
Nudar,I'll vaporize this guy so his ass doesn't fall into the wrong hands. ,Fry,Why don't you just remove my tattoo? 
Fry,Why don't you just remove my tattoo? ,Nudar,Nice try. But you might have memorized it. 
Nudar,Nice try. But you might have memorized it. ,Fry,No I mighn't. I can't even remember my mother's maiden name. 
Fry,No I mighn't. I can't even remember my mother's maiden name. ,Nudar,It's Gleisner. 
Nudar,It's Gleisner. ,Fry,Stupid naked aliens. Stupid Lars. I hate the future. 
Fry,Stupid naked aliens. Stupid Lars. I hate the future. ,Fry,Hmmmm! 
Fry,Hmmmm! ,Bubblegum,"Man, that cube root was a real buzzer beater, Clyde. "
Bubblegum,"Man, that cube root was a real buzzer beater, Clyde. ",Fry,Zero. One. One. One. Zero. Zero. One. One! 
Fry,Zero. One. One. One. Zero. Zero. One. One! ,Schlump,Blast him. 
Schlump,Blast him. ,Bender,Oh great master. 
Bender,Oh great master. ,Fry,Hello 2000. I'm home. 
Fry,Hello 2000. I'm home. ,Voice,"(OC) Happy New Year, naked weirdo!"
Voice,"(OC) Happy New Year, naked weirdo!",Fry,Happy new year. 
Fry,Happy new year. ,Nudar,"Well, we'll never know where the ass guy went, and since we can't kill him, I say live and let live. "
Nudar,"Well, we'll never know where the ass guy went, and since we can't kill him, I say live and let live. ",Bender,"Aww, that's sweet boss. Fry'll be nice and cozy back in the year 2000. "
Bender,"Aww, that's sweet boss. Fry'll be nice and cozy back in the year 2000. ",Nudar,What?! How do you know he went to the year 2000? 
Nudar,What?! How do you know he went to the year 2000? ,Bender,That's where he always goes. 
Bender,That's where he always goes. ,Nudar,Hmm. Better play it safe. Go there a little earlier and wait for him. You know what to do. 
Nudar,Hmm. Better play it safe. Go there a little earlier and wait for him. You know what to do. ,Bender,"You want me to concludify him, like some sort of dispatcherator? "
Bender,"You want me to concludify him, like some sort of dispatcherator? ",Nudar,Yes. And don't forget to terminate him. 
Nudar,Yes. And don't forget to terminate him. ,Bender,Got it. Preparing to terminate Philip Fry!
Bender,Got it. Preparing to terminate Philip Fry!,Schlump,What's with the doofy sunglasses? 
Schlump,What's with the doofy sunglasses? ,Bender,Ohhh! 
Bender,Ohhh! ,Bender,"Hey, there you are! ... Oh, wait, that's Fry before he goes to the future. I'm waiting for the one who comes back from the future. Geesh this is confusing, and I bet it's gonna get a lot more confusing. Offf. That cheap beer really goes right through you. For the first time ever, I gotta use the bathroom, but if I leave, I might miss Fry. Ohhhh unless .... "
Bender,"Hey, there you are! ... Oh, wait, that's Fry before he goes to the future. I'm waiting for the one who comes back from the future. Geesh this is confusing, and I bet it's gonna get a lot more confusing. Offf. That cheap beer really goes right through you. For the first time ever, I gotta use the bathroom, but if I leave, I might miss Fry. Ohhhh unless .... ",Bender-2,... and I bet it's gonna get a lot more confusing. Huh! Ah! Wha? 
Bender-2,... and I bet it's gonna get a lot more confusing. Huh! Ah! Wha? ,Bender,"Hi, I'm you from 19 seconds in the future. Stay here and wait for Fry while I go to the bathroom. "
Bender,"Hi, I'm you from 19 seconds in the future. Stay here and wait for Fry while I go to the bathroom. ",Bender-2,Ok Boss. After I kill Fry you're next. 
Bender-2,Ok Boss. After I kill Fry you're next. ,Bender,What? 
Bender,What? ,Bender-2,Nothing. 
Bender-2,Nothing. ,Bender-2,What the? Who are you? 
Bender-2,What the? Who are you? ,Bender-3,I'm Bender from way at the end. I came back to put this rub-on time code on Fry's ass. 
Bender-3,I'm Bender from way at the end. I came back to put this rub-on time code on Fry's ass. ,Bender-2,"So what are you now, a butler? Spot of tea please, jerkwad!"
Bender-2,"So what are you now, a butler? Spot of tea please, jerkwad!",Bender-3,"It's called class, you yokel. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a buttocks to tattoo. "
Bender-3,"It's called class, you yokel. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a buttocks to tattoo. ",Fry,Hello 2000. I'm home. 
Fry,Hello 2000. I'm home. ,Voice,"(OC) Happy New Year, naked weirdo!"
Voice,"(OC) Happy New Year, naked weirdo!",Fry,Happy new year. 
Fry,Happy new year. ,Bender-2,"Hasta la vista, meatbag!"
Bender-2,"Hasta la vista, meatbag!",Fry,"Bender? What are you doing? It's me, your best friend. "
Fry,"Bender? What are you doing? It's me, your best friend. ",Bender-2,Must obey orders. Ohhhhh. Mustn't kill friend!! Ohhhhhh!!! Badly want to urinate!!!!!
Bender-2,Must obey orders. Ohhhhh. Mustn't kill friend!! Ohhhhhh!!! Badly want to urinate!!!!!,Fry,What's happening? Are you urinating? 
Fry,What's happening? Are you urinating? ,Bender-2,"Explosion in seven, six, ... "
Bender-2,"Explosion in seven, six, ... ",Fry,It'll be a cold day in hell my friend. 
Fry,It'll be a cold day in hell my friend. ,Bender-2,"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things!"
Bender-2,"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things!",Bender,"Hey ... so the game of cat and mouse begins, huh? Let us match wits. .... Ohhhh, how am I supposed to find him? All those times he blabbed on and on about his life in the twentieth century. If only I'd paid the slightest bit of attention. Oh well, guess I'd better go kill myself. "
Bender,"Hey ... so the game of cat and mouse begins, huh? Let us match wits. .... Ohhhh, how am I supposed to find him? All those times he blabbed on and on about his life in the twentieth century. If only I'd paid the slightest bit of attention. Oh well, guess I'd better go kill myself. ",Cryogenicist,"(from Jurassic Bark): Hello, bartender? I have thought it over, and far from being a fat pig, you are very nice and I would like another drink ... "
Cryogenicist,"(from Jurassic Bark): Hello, bartender? I have thought it over, and far from being a fat pig, you are very nice and I would like another drink ... ",Bender,"Helloooo? Kill me you stupid machine. ... What the ... local calls fifty cents? It's a street corner telephone parlor! Oh what kind of horrible suicide free time is this? Wait a minute, maybe this handy encyclopedia of humans will help me track Fry down. "
Bender,"Helloooo? Kill me you stupid machine. ... What the ... local calls fifty cents? It's a street corner telephone parlor! Oh what kind of horrible suicide free time is this? Wait a minute, maybe this handy encyclopedia of humans will help me track Fry down. ",Bender,"One of these Frys must be Fry. Look out Philip Fry, 'cause I got a little present for you. "
Bender,"One of these Frys must be Fry. Look out Philip Fry, 'cause I got a little present for you. ",Fat,Man name is Phillip Fry. Where's my present. 
Fat,Man name is Phillip Fry. Where's my present. ,Bender,Hang on a second Fry. I don't remember you being that ugly. 
Bender,Hang on a second Fry. I don't remember you being that ugly. ,Fat,"Man: Oh no, I've always been this ugly. "
Fat,"Man: Oh no, I've always been this ugly. ",Bender,"No tattoo. Okay, you can go. "
Bender,"No tattoo. Okay, you can go. ",Fat,Man: Farewell sir. 
Fat,Man: Farewell sir. ,Bender,"Say your prayers, Fry. "
Bender,"Say your prayers, Fry. ",Michelle,This isn't Fry. I kicked Fry out two hours ago. This is my new boyfriend ... uhhh ... 
Michelle,This isn't Fry. I kicked Fry out two hours ago. This is my new boyfriend ... uhhh ... ,Constantine,Constantine. 
Constantine,Constantine. ,Michelle,Really? That's a dumb name. Ewwww. 
Michelle,Really? That's a dumb name. Ewwww. ,Bender,"Ohh, nice, now I see why she left Fry. "
Bender,"Ohh, nice, now I see why she left Fry. ",Bender,"Okay, you're still clean. I mean metaphorically. "
Bender,"Okay, you're still clean. I mean metaphorically. ",Bender,"He must have left the city. Man, this could take all day. "
Bender,"He must have left the city. Man, this could take all day. ",Phil,"The returns are looking good, Mr. Gore. "
Phil,"The returns are looking good, Mr. Gore. ",Al,"Gore: Thanks, Phil. Here's to four years of clean air, clean government, and amazing new technologies such as ... "
Al,"Gore: Thanks, Phil. Here's to four years of clean air, clean government, and amazing new technologies such as ... ",Al,Gore: ... ROBOT! 
Al,Gore: ... ROBOT! ,Bender,Philip Fry? 
Bender,Philip Fry? ,Transition,Announcer: Twelve years passed. Then ... 
Transition,Announcer: Twelve years passed. Then ... ,Transition,Announcer: ... this. 
Transition,Announcer: ... this. ,Bender,Philip J. Fry? 
Bender,Philip J. Fry? ,Yancy,"Fry, Jr.: Phil, some kind of trash can here to see you. He's coming. "
Yancy,"Fry, Jr.: Phil, some kind of trash can here to see you. He's coming. ",Philip,J. Fry II: Are you made of Tinkertoy? 
Philip,J. Fry II: Are you made of Tinkertoy? ,Bender,Hmmm. It's been twelve years. Maybe I'm getting taller. 
Bender,Hmmm. It's been twelve years. Maybe I'm getting taller. ,Philip,J. Fry II: You're not getting smarter. 
Philip,J. Fry II: You're not getting smarter. ,Bender,"Listen, pipsqueak, are you Philip J. Fry or not? 'Cause if you are, I'm here to kill you. "
Bender,"Listen, pipsqueak, are you Philip J. Fry or not? 'Cause if you are, I'm here to kill you. ",Philip,J. Fry II: I'd like to see you try. 
Philip,J. Fry II: I'd like to see you try. ,Philip,J. Fry II You---you--you want Uncle Phil. He went to the North Pole on a fishyboat. 
Philip,J. Fry II You---you--you want Uncle Phil. He went to the North Pole on a fishyboat. ,Bender,Ahhhh! The North Pole? I was just there. 
Bender,Ahhhh! The North Pole? I was just there. ,Bender,"It is him, I'd recognize me, and hence him, anywhere. "
Bender,"It is him, I'd recognize me, and hence him, anywhere. ",Bender,Follow that guy. There's an extra hundred in it for you if you follow him so close that you run him over. 
Bender,Follow that guy. There's an extra hundred in it for you if you follow him so close that you run him over. ,Al,Gore: (cab driver) Yes sir. 
Al,Gore: (cab driver) Yes sir. ,Al,Gore: Dang. That hundred dollars could have bought me one. Gallon. Of gas. 
Al,Gore: Dang. That hundred dollars could have bought me one. Gallon. Of gas. ,Bender,"Others however will call me the world's sexiest killing machine who's fun at parties. Fry, old buddy, it's me, Bender. "
Bender,"Others however will call me the world's sexiest killing machine who's fun at parties. Fry, old buddy, it's me, Bender. ",Bender,"Oh god, what have I done? "
Bender,"Oh god, what have I done? ",Bender,Preparing to terminate Philip Fry. 
Bender,Preparing to terminate Philip Fry. ,Schlump,What's with the doofy sun glasses? 
Schlump,What's with the doofy sun glasses? ,Bender,It's really bright in the past.
Bender,It's really bright in the past.,Bender,Mission accomplished. 
Bender,Mission accomplished. ,Schlump,Fry is dead? 
Schlump,Fry is dead? ,Bender,I'm the greatest. 
Bender,I'm the greatest. ,Head,cleaner: Time code and obedience virus erased. 
Head,cleaner: Time code and obedience virus erased. ,Bender,Huh? 
Bender,Huh? ,Head,"cleaner: Also, fifty terabytes of porn. "
Head,"cleaner: Also, fifty terabytes of porn. ",Bender,Hey! 
Bender,Hey! ,Nudar,"You've got no porn, no code, and you're ugly! Let's dance! "
Nudar,"You've got no porn, no code, and you're ugly! Let's dance! ",Leela,Now it's true we'll all miss Fry. 
Leela,Now it's true we'll all miss Fry. ,Zoidberg,He was the only one of you who never struck me. 
Zoidberg,He was the only one of you who never struck me. ,Leela,And we'll never see if boyish smile and hair horn again. But I bet he went back to his own time. I'm sure he was very happy and lived to a ripe old age. 
Leela,And we'll never see if boyish smile and hair horn again. But I bet he went back to his own time. I'm sure he was very happy and lived to a ripe old age. ,Bender,He wasn't and he didn't! 
Bender,He wasn't and he didn't! ,Amy,"Awww, don't blame yourself, Bender. "
Amy,"Awww, don't blame yourself, Bender. ",Bender,"I don't blame myself, I blame all of you. "
Bender,"I don't blame myself, I blame all of you. ",Amy,Us?! How can you possibly blame us? 
Amy,Us?! How can you possibly blame us? ,Bender,"Ohhh, Fry, I'd give anything to unmurder you!"
Bender,"Ohhh, Fry, I'd give anything to unmurder you!",Fry,Did someone call me? 
Fry,Did someone call me? ,Bender,But ... I killed you in 2012. Unless ... 
Bender,But ... I killed you in 2012. Unless ... ,Fry,Ooph! 
Fry,Ooph! ,Bender,"Nope, he's not a zombie. "
Bender,"Nope, he's not a zombie. ",Lars,Welcome back Fry. 
Lars,Welcome back Fry. ,Fry,"Thank you, Lars. "
Fry,"Thank you, Lars. ",Lars,"I .. ah ... I .. I'll see you later, honey. "
Lars,"I .. ah ... I .. I'll see you later, honey. ",Farnsworth,"So tell us Fry. If Bender killed you centuries ago, how in Satan's glorious name did you return? "
Farnsworth,"So tell us Fry. If Bender killed you centuries ago, how in Satan's glorious name did you return? ",Fry,"Ohh, it's an astonishing tale of [[Coinage|incredibleness[[. It all began when I went back in time. "
Fry,"Ohh, it's an astonishing tale of [[Coinage|incredibleness[[. It all began when I went back in time. ",Farnsworth,Duhhh. 
Farnsworth,Duhhh. ,Fry,"Hey, Mr. Panucci, I'm back from that delivery to the cryogenic lab. "
Fry,"Hey, Mr. Panucci, I'm back from that delivery to the cryogenic lab. ",Panucci,Great. I'll put you on the cover of Big Whoop magazine! 
Panucci,Great. I'll put you on the cover of Big Whoop magazine! ,Fry,"Mmmm, I'm starving. Can I have a slice? "
Fry,"Mmmm, I'm starving. Can I have a slice? ",Panucci,Help yourself. Cash up front. 
Panucci,Help yourself. Cash up front. ,H.G.,Blob: This note is legal tender. 
H.G.,Blob: This note is legal tender. ,Fry,"(VO) Unfortunately, I had no money from that era. But that's when it hit me - I knew where to find free pizza. "
Fry,"(VO) Unfortunately, I had no money from that era. But that's when it hit me - I knew where to find free pizza. ",Fry,"Ohh, ice cold. "
Fry,"Ohh, ice cold. ",Fry,(VO) That's when it hit me again ... 
Fry,(VO) That's when it hit me again ... ,Fry,Zero zero one one zero ... 
Fry,Zero zero one one zero ... ,Bender-2,"Explosion in seven, six ... "
Bender-2,"Explosion in seven, six ... ",Fry-2,It'll be a cold day in hell my friend. 
Fry-2,It'll be a cold day in hell my friend. ,Bender-2,"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things!"
Bender-2,"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things!",Fry,"Nice kick, me. "
Fry,"Nice kick, me. ",Fry-2,Thanks. What are you doing here? 
Fry-2,Thanks. What are you doing here? ,Fry,"One hour from now, I travel back in time for free pizza. "
Fry,"One hour from now, I travel back in time for free pizza. ",Fry-2,But Nibbler said not to use the time code. 
Fry-2,But Nibbler said not to use the time code. ,Fry,"Fine, Mr. Responsible, don't use the code. Mmmmm. That pizza sure was good. "
Fry,"Fine, Mr. Responsible, don't use the code. Mmmmm. That pizza sure was good. ",Fry-2,You pig. 
Fry-2,You pig. ,Fry,Whatever. 
Fry,Whatever. ,Fry,(VO) That's when it hit me yet a third time ... 
Fry,(VO) That's when it hit me yet a third time ... ,Fry,"You idiot, frozen me's still got a wallet full of old timey money. "
Fry,"You idiot, frozen me's still got a wallet full of old timey money. ",Fry,"Yuck, I touched my own butt. "
Fry,"Yuck, I touched my own butt. ",Fry,So I unfroze ten minutes ago and I walked over here and then it was now and then I don't know what happened. 
Fry,So I unfroze ten minutes ago and I walked over here and then it was now and then I don't know what happened. ,Bender,"Well, I'm glad you're alive, but I don't want people to say I'm incompetent so I better kill you again. Hold still. "
Bender,"Well, I'm glad you're alive, but I don't want people to say I'm incompetent so I better kill you again. Hold still. ",Farnsworth,Bender! Stop killing for a minute. The Fry you murdered was doomed anyway. See? 
Farnsworth,Bender! Stop killing for a minute. The Fry you murdered was doomed anyway. See? ,Bender,What'd ya got there? Numbers? 
Bender,What'd ya got there? Numbers? ,Farnsworth,"When the time code duplicates a living thing, the copy is always doomed. And that includes flabby Jamaican potbellies. "
Farnsworth,"When the time code duplicates a living thing, the copy is always doomed. And that includes flabby Jamaican potbellies. ",Hermes,Kiss my front butt. 
Hermes,Kiss my front butt. ,Fry,So my copy lives twelve years before Bender murdered him? 
Fry,So my copy lives twelve years before Bender murdered him? ,Bender,Brutally murdered. 
Bender,Brutally murdered. ,Fry,I wonder what his life was like? 
Fry,I wonder what his life was like? ,Scruffy,I guess we'll never know. 
Scruffy,I guess we'll never know. ,Zoidberg,Or will we? 
Zoidberg,Or will we? ,Scruffy,Nope. 
Scruffy,Nope. ,Transition,"Announcer: They won't know, but you will. Lucky you. "
Transition,"Announcer: They won't know, but you will. Lucky you. ",Fry-2,"Oh hey Mr. Panucci, I'm back from the delivery to the cryogenic lab. "
Fry-2,"Oh hey Mr. Panucci, I'm back from the delivery to the cryogenic lab. ",Panucci,I know. I read about it in Big Whoop magazine. 
Panucci,I know. I read about it in Big Whoop magazine. ,Fry-2,So ... uh ... my girlfriend kicked me out. Can I rent the upstairs storage room? 
Fry-2,So ... uh ... my girlfriend kicked me out. Can I rent the upstairs storage room? ,Panucci,"The upstairs storage? I like you kid. Your lousy life makes me feel good about myself. The room's yours. Here, take some rat spray for the meat ball hamper. "
Panucci,"The upstairs storage? I like you kid. Your lousy life makes me feel good about myself. The room's yours. Here, take some rat spray for the meat ball hamper. ",Hermes,"Happy day, mon! It's good to have you back. "
Hermes,"Happy day, mon! It's good to have you back. ",Nibbler,"Indeed, but the scammers will soon sprunje the code again. We must remove the time tattoo at once, and as painlessly as possible. "
Nibbler,"Indeed, but the scammers will soon sprunje the code again. We must remove the time tattoo at once, and as painlessly as possible. ",Lars,"Hurry, they're coming. "
Lars,"Hurry, they're coming. ",Nibbler,"There, the code is gone. I saved the space-time continuum and forty percent of your rectum. "
Nibbler,"There, the code is gone. I saved the space-time continuum and forty percent of your rectum. ",Bubblegum,That's all you need. 
Bubblegum,That's all you need. ,Nudar,I sprunje code. 
Nudar,I sprunje code. ,Nibbler,"Too late, Nudar. I've wiped Fry's butt clean. "
Nibbler,"Too late, Nudar. I've wiped Fry's butt clean. ",Nudar,We'll see about that. 
Nudar,We'll see about that. ,Fleb,Nothing boss. We sprunjed his ass inside and out. 
Fleb,Nothing boss. We sprunjed his ass inside and out. ,Schlump,The only information we found was a hair shaped like the number six. 
Schlump,The only information we found was a hair shaped like the number six. ,Nudar,"mmm. Nine. Alright, let him go, I guess the time code really is gone. "
Nudar,"mmm. Nine. Alright, let him go, I guess the time code really is gone. ",Fry,"Thank god. The present may stink, but at least now we can look forward to a better yesterday. "
Fry,"Thank god. The present may stink, but at least now we can look forward to a better yesterday. ",Fry-2,"I'm sorry Leela, I can't keep living in the past, by which I mean the future. I'll always love you, but I've got to move on and find my life's purpose. "
Fry-2,"I'm sorry Leela, I can't keep living in the past, by which I mean the future. I'll always love you, but I've got to move on and find my life's purpose. ",TV,Anchorman: ... and that how Bundles the monkey finally found a friend. 
TV,Anchorman: ... and that how Bundles the monkey finally found a friend. ,Fry-2,I miss Morbo. 
Fry-2,I miss Morbo. ,TV,"Anchorman: And finally tonight on the late, cute animal news, a story that will really tug your heartstrings, way more than bundles, the doll-raping monkey. It's the tale of lonely Leelu, the little orphan narwhal. "
TV,"Anchorman: And finally tonight on the late, cute animal news, a story that will really tug your heartstrings, way more than bundles, the doll-raping monkey. It's the tale of lonely Leelu, the little orphan narwhal. ",Fry-2,Awww. 
Fry-2,Awww. ,Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: (on TV) Leelu is a rare, toothed female narwhal who got disoriented and washed up in Atlantic City, as we all do from time to time. But without a mother, she's lost the will to eat. Come on, take a sip. "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: (on TV) Leelu is a rare, toothed female narwhal who got disoriented and washed up in Atlantic City, as we all do from time to time. But without a mother, she's lost the will to eat. Come on, take a sip. ",Fry-2,I know how to make things eat. Maybe this is my purpose in life. 
Fry-2,I know how to make things eat. Maybe this is my purpose in life. ,Fry,"Hi, I'd like to apply for a job working with Leelu. "
Fry,"Hi, I'd like to apply for a job working with Leelu. ",Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: Question number one, do you have any experience working with marine mammals? "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: Question number one, do you have any experience working with marine mammals? ",Fry-2,"No, but I think they're pretty neat. "
Fry-2,"No, but I think they're pretty neat. ",Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: That answers question number two. Question number three, do you know where the door is or would you prefer to be kicked out? "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: That answers question number two. Question number three, do you know where the door is or would you prefer to be kicked out? ",Fry-2,I don't know. I guess kicked out. 
Fry-2,I don't know. I guess kicked out. ,Fry-2,"Hiya girl. My name's Fry, and I think you're a cutie 'cause I like things that have only one thing instead of two things. "
Fry-2,"Hiya girl. My name's Fry, and I think you're a cutie 'cause I like things that have only one thing instead of two things. ",Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: Holy mackerel, she's eating whole mackerel. I don't know what your secret is but if you'll work for minimum wage you can start tomorrow. "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: Holy mackerel, she's eating whole mackerel. I don't know what your secret is but if you'll work for minimum wage you can start tomorrow. ",Fry-2,"If I work of less than minimum, can I start today? "
Fry-2,"If I work of less than minimum, can I start today? ",Dr.,Schlovinowitz: I don't see why not. 
Dr.,Schlovinowitz: I don't see why not. ,Morbo,"(on TV) In business news, the weak and gullible inhabitants of Earth were plunged into economic depression today as the scammer aliens finished stealing every item of value, including ownership of this station. "
Morbo,"(on TV) In business news, the weak and gullible inhabitants of Earth were plunged into economic depression today as the scammer aliens finished stealing every item of value, including ownership of this station. ",Nudar,Tough times earth chumps. We're repossessing your TV. Seems you can't afford it now that you're unemployed.
Nudar,Tough times earth chumps. We're repossessing your TV. Seems you can't afford it now that you're unemployed.,Zoidberg,We're not unemplo -- 
Zoidberg,We're not unemplo -- ,Lars,I love the hard museum at night. It's where I come to be alone. 
Lars,I love the hard museum at night. It's where I come to be alone. ,Heads,Hi Lars. 
Heads,Hi Lars. ,De,"Gaulle: Ah, Lars and la belle Leela. I trust you brought some haute cuisine for an old Frenchman. "
De,"Gaulle: Ah, Lars and la belle Leela. I trust you brought some haute cuisine for an old Frenchman. ",Lars,"You're favorite General, Torgo's Executive Powder. "
Lars,"You're favorite General, Torgo's Executive Powder. ",De,Gaulle: Mmmm. Magnifique. 
De,Gaulle: Mmmm. Magnifique. ,Lars,"Come on Leela, let me show you the hall of screaming skulls. "
Lars,"Come on Leela, let me show you the hall of screaming skulls. ",Lars,What's wrong? Is the screaming depressing you? 
Lars,What's wrong? Is the screaming depressing you? ,Leela,It's just ... my life is changing so fast. I don't know who I am anymore. 
Leela,It's just ... my life is changing so fast. I don't know who I am anymore. ,Lars,I know who you are. You're the woman I've been waiting for all my life. 
Lars,I know who you are. You're the woman I've been waiting for all my life. ,Leela,Let's go to my place. 
Leela,Let's go to my place. ,Lars,I ... like what you've done with it. 
Lars,I ... like what you've done with it. ,Leela,"All tenants evicted, signed new owners? "
Leela,"All tenants evicted, signed new owners? ",Nudar,"That would be us, dump cakes. We're buying the whole city and turning it into a private panda hunting reserve.  Na-na-na!!"
Nudar,"That would be us, dump cakes. We're buying the whole city and turning it into a private panda hunting reserve.  Na-na-na!!",Leela,There aren't any Pandas in New New York. 
Leela,There aren't any Pandas in New New York. ,Schlump,"Back it up, Sal!"
Schlump,"Back it up, Sal!",Amy,"Look at us, living like trash eating bums in an alley now. "
Amy,"Look at us, living like trash eating bums in an alley now. ",Zoidberg,Yes. Now. 
Zoidberg,Yes. Now. ,Tinny,Tim ooofff. 
Tinny,Tim ooofff. ,Bender,Oops. 
Bender,Oops. ,Farnsworth,"Well, at least we have each other, so it truly is the worst Xmas ever. "
Farnsworth,"Well, at least we have each other, so it truly is the worst Xmas ever. ",Hermes,Santa! 
Fry,That's it. I don't see how things could get any worse. ,Bender,We could sing. 
Bender,We could sing. ,Farnsworth,I'd rather kill myself. 
Farnsworth,I'd rather kill myself. ,Amy,Why not do both? 
Amy,Why not do both? ,Farnsworth,"Oh, very well. "
Farnsworth,"Oh, very well. ",Nudar,Neh! 
Nudar,Neh! ,Leela,Lars brought me candy. 
Leela,Lars brought me candy. ,"Fry,","Amy, Zoidberg, Bender, Tinny Tim, and Nibbler: Cram it down and shut the hell up! "
"Fry,","Amy, Zoidberg, Bender, Tinny Tim, and Nibbler: Cram it down and shut the hell up! ",Hermes,I can't compete with that. 
Hermes,I can't compete with that. ,Leela,Lars says I'm dreamy. 
Leela,Lars says I'm dreamy. ,"Fry,","Zoidberg, Amy, Tinny Tim, Bender, Farnsworth: Who the hell cares? "
"Fry,","Zoidberg, Amy, Tinny Tim, Bender, Farnsworth: Who the hell cares? ",Santa,That's my cue. 
Santa,That's my cue. ,Tinny,Tim: Oh my word! 
Tinny,Tim: Oh my word! ,Leela,"Hey, guess what guys! "
Leela,"Hey, guess what guys! ",Zoidberg,What? 
Zoidberg,What? ,Zoidberg,Mazel tov!
Zoidberg,Mazel tov!,Amy,May stars in heaven bless your love!
Amy,May stars in heaven bless your love!,Fry,Now could things get any worse. 
Fry,Now could things get any worse. ,Santa,Ho! Ho! Ho. 
Santa,Ho! Ho! Ho. ,Lars,Stop screaming. That's just what the bomb wants us to do. 
Lars,Stop screaming. That's just what the bomb wants us to do. ,Lars,"Don't worry, a bomb in a case is just like a head in a jar. "
Lars,"Don't worry, a bomb in a case is just like a head in a jar. ",Leela,Oh Lars! No blowing us up make me love you even more. 
Leela,Oh Lars! No blowing us up make me love you even more. ,Fry,Life saving goody goody ... 
Fry,Life saving goody goody ... ,Farnsworth,"Well now that death has been staved off momentarily, let me be the first to say congratulations Leela and Lars. "
Farnsworth,"Well now that death has been staved off momentarily, let me be the first to say congratulations Leela and Lars. ",Amy,Maid of honor! 
Amy,Maid of honor! ,Zoidberg,Maid of honor! Ohhh. 
Zoidberg,Maid of honor! Ohhh. ,Fry,"I could make you happy too, if only you'd give me a chance. "
Fry,"I could make you happy too, if only you'd give me a chance. ",Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: You've done a wonderful job, Fry. When you first started, I thought she'd be dead within a narweek, which is six days I believe. "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: You've done a wonderful job, Fry. When you first started, I thought she'd be dead within a narweek, which is six days I believe. ",Dr.,Schlovinowitz: Now that the kind of whale behavioral science they don't teach you in whale behavioral science class. 
Dr.,Schlovinowitz: Now that the kind of whale behavioral science they don't teach you in whale behavioral science class. ,Fry,"So what's up, Dr. Schlovinowitz? "
Fry,"So what's up, Dr. Schlovinowitz? ",Dr.,"Schlovinowitz This is a little hard for me to say Fry. You see, it's ... it's time we released Leelu back into the wild. "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz This is a little hard for me to say Fry. You see, it's ... it's time we released Leelu back into the wild. ",Dr.,Schlovinowitz: I'm sorry. The decision is final. Plus we need the tank for the Loch Ness monster. 
Dr.,Schlovinowitz: I'm sorry. The decision is final. Plus we need the tank for the Loch Ness monster. ,Fry-2,But that turned out to be a log with a Halloween mask stapled to it. 
Fry-2,But that turned out to be a log with a Halloween mask stapled to it. ,Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: Yes, well, it still draws a crowd. "
Dr.,"Schlovinowitz: Yes, well, it still draws a crowd. ",Fry-2,"I can't let this happen, she'll never be happy without me. "
Fry-2,"I can't let this happen, she'll never be happy without me. ",Elzar,I know you're broke and homeless but you still want a swank wedding reception so I whipped you up some real nice budge appetizers. 
Elzar,I know you're broke and homeless but you still want a swank wedding reception so I whipped you up some real nice budge appetizers. ,Lars,Mmmm. I can keep these down. 
Lars,Mmmm. I can keep these down. ,Elzar,Okay! That's a big yes on the crud puffs. Try the shlimp cocktail. 
Elzar,Okay! That's a big yes on the crud puffs. Try the shlimp cocktail. ,Fry,There must be some way I can stop this wedding. What if I steal the wedding ring?
Fry,There must be some way I can stop this wedding. What if I steal the wedding ring?,Fry,You think that'll be enough to stop the ceremony. 
Fry,You think that'll be enough to stop the ceremony. ,Bender,"Nope. I pulled the old switcheroo, so they won't even know the difference. Wait a minute, I think the copy I made cost more than this. "
Bender,"Nope. I pulled the old switcheroo, so they won't even know the difference. Wait a minute, I think the copy I made cost more than this. ",Fry,Cheap lousy Lars. 
Fry,Cheap lousy Lars. ,Bender,"Actually this is extremely nice, but I really went all out on the copy. It was sorta my gift to them. "
Bender,"Actually this is extremely nice, but I really went all out on the copy. It was sorta my gift to them. ",Fry,I can't let this happen. She'll never be happy without me. 
Fry,I can't let this happen. She'll never be happy without me. ,Fry-2,"It's not fair, we need each other. "
Fry-2,"It's not fair, we need each other. ",Fry-2,You need your blanket Mr. Panucci. 
Fry-2,You need your blanket Mr. Panucci. ,Panucci,"I don't even want to be here. I only came 'cause you wheeled me. But if that narwal means so much to you, you gotta do something. "
Panucci,"I don't even want to be here. I only came 'cause you wheeled me. But if that narwal means so much to you, you gotta do something. ",Fry-2,I know. But I can't just go chasing after her. That'd be nuts. 
Fry-2,I know. But I can't just go chasing after her. That'd be nuts. ,Panucci,"Ah, Sometimes you gotta be a little nuts. Let me introduce you to my cousin. He owns a small freighter. That's him, right behind us. "
Panucci,"Ah, Sometimes you gotta be a little nuts. Let me introduce you to my cousin. He owns a small freighter. That's him, right behind us. ",Fry-2,"Sir, I'd like to engage your ship for a trans-Arctic voyage to capture a Narwhal and bring it back to my room. "
Fry-2,"Sir, I'd like to engage your ship for a trans-Arctic voyage to capture a Narwhal and bring it back to my room. ",Panucci,"The mans is nuts, Leroy."
Panucci,"The mans is nuts, Leroy.",Leroy,"Professional whale keeper, eh? I've carried your type before and we don't get along. Oh, I agree with your values and your goals and your methods, but somehow we just never click on a personal level. "
Leroy,"Professional whale keeper, eh? I've carried your type before and we don't get along. Oh, I agree with your values and your goals and your methods, but somehow we just never click on a personal level. ",Fry-2,I'm not a professional anymore. Just a narwal loving private citizen. 
Fry-2,I'm not a professional anymore. Just a narwal loving private citizen. ,Leroy,Then I'm you man. We'll take on three barrels of fresh sausage and sail at dawn. 
Leroy,Then I'm you man. We'll take on three barrels of fresh sausage and sail at dawn. ,Terry,Welcome to the wedding. 
Terry,Welcome to the wedding. ,Bender,Oy vey. 
Bender,Oy vey. ,LaBarbara,"Go on now, mon, don' cha' know nothin' about zippin' up a woman's frock? "
LaBarbara,"Go on now, mon, don' cha' know nothin' about zippin' up a woman's frock? ",Hermes,"Get your clumsy, muscular hands off my woman, Barbados. "
Hermes,"Get your clumsy, muscular hands off my woman, Barbados. ",LaBarbara,Hermes! Your body! 
LaBarbara,Hermes! Your body! ,Slim,I always said you were a little backward. 
Slim,I always said you were a little backward. ,Hermes,"Well, I always said you were a little forward ... with my wife. "
Hermes,"Well, I always said you were a little forward ... with my wife. ",Bystanders,ohhh! 
Bystanders,ohhh! ,Hermes,Consider yourself bird dogged. 
Hermes,Consider yourself bird dogged. ,LaBarbara,"That's my man. Take a boat, Barbados. "
LaBarbara,"That's my man. Take a boat, Barbados. ",Bubblegum,"Brother, you gots to tell that sweet thing your time duplicate body is doomed. "
Bubblegum,"Brother, you gots to tell that sweet thing your time duplicate body is doomed. ",Hermes,Tomorrow morning. After the festivities. 
Hermes,Tomorrow morning. After the festivities. ,Bubblegum,"Yow, baby! "
Bubblegum,"Yow, baby! ",Munda,Our little girl is finally getting married. And to a normal two eyed human. 
Munda,Our little girl is finally getting married. And to a normal two eyed human. ,Morris,"Eh, he's not good enough for her. Leela deserves a guy with a dozen eyes. "
Morris,"Eh, he's not good enough for her. Leela deserves a guy with a dozen eyes. ",Father,"Changstein-el-Gamahl: Dearly liked, we are gathered here before one or more gods, or fewer, to joining this couple in pretty good matrimony. If anyone objects to this union, let them speak now or forever hold their piece, or do something else. "
Father,"Changstein-el-Gamahl: Dearly liked, we are gathered here before one or more gods, or fewer, to joining this couple in pretty good matrimony. If anyone objects to this union, let them speak now or forever hold their piece, or do something else. ",Leroy,"It's been two years, Fry. We've caught a hundred and eight narwhals and set them all free again. "
Leroy,"It's been two years, Fry. We've caught a hundred and eight narwhals and set them all free again. ",Fry-2,None of them were Leelu. 
Fry-2,None of them were Leelu. ,Inuit,#1: But all of them were edible. 
Inuit,#1: But all of them were edible. ,Inuit,#2 Can we at least eat that one? I'm sick of sausage. 
Inuit,#2 Can we at least eat that one? I'm sick of sausage. ,Fry-2,I'd know that modified extended tooth anywhere. To the boats! 
Fry-2,I'd know that modified extended tooth anywhere. To the boats! ,Fry-2,"Leelu! Leelu! It's me, Fry."
Fry-2,"Leelu! Leelu! It's me, Fry.",Fry-2,"Oh, I've missed you too, Leelu. But we'll never be apart again because we care too much for each other. Fire!"
Fry-2,"Oh, I've missed you too, Leelu. But we'll never be apart again because we care too much for each other. Fire!",Father,"Changstein-el-Gamahl: Now, if the couple will sign the wedding license. "
Father,"Changstein-el-Gamahl: Now, if the couple will sign the wedding license. ",Farnsworth,I warned him. I warned him a time paradox duplicate is always doomed.
Farnsworth,I warned him. I warned him a time paradox duplicate is always doomed.,Lars,What? 
Lars,What? ,LaBarbara,"Oh, no, my man! He's essentially dead again. "
LaBarbara,"Oh, no, my man! He's essentially dead again. ",Dr.,Cahill: Relax ma'am. Your husband's original body will be repaired within one week. 
Dr.,Cahill: Relax ma'am. Your husband's original body will be repaired within one week. ,LaBarbara,Nah uh uh. Not soon enough. Boy needs a daddy. 
LaBarbara,Nah uh uh. Not soon enough. Boy needs a daddy. ,Slim,"Cruel runnings, mon. Dr. Cahill: Woopsy-doopsy, poopsy. "
Slim,"Cruel runnings, mon. Dr. Cahill: Woopsy-doopsy, poopsy. ",Hermes,"Well, let's get on with it. Don't let my doomed body and my doomed marriage stand in the way of your happiness. "
Hermes,"Well, let's get on with it. Don't let my doomed body and my doomed marriage stand in the way of your happiness. ",Lars,"No, it's not right. We don't want our happy day tainted by misfortune and tragedy, do we? "
Lars,"No, it's not right. We don't want our happy day tainted by misfortune and tragedy, do we? ",Leela,I'm OK with it. 
Leela,I'm OK with it. ,Lars,"No, it's not right. The wedding is off. "
Lars,"No, it's not right. The wedding is off. ",Fry,"Finally, a happy ending. "
Fry,"Finally, a happy ending. ",TV,Announcer And now it's time for Everybody Loves Hypnotoad. 
TV,Announcer And now it's time for Everybody Loves Hypnotoad. ,Zoidberg,"Even in a depression, the entertainment industry thrives. "
Zoidberg,"Even in a depression, the entertainment industry thrives. ",Fry,"Are you okay, Leela? "
Fry,"Are you okay, Leela? ",Leela,"Yeah, I'm just a little down 'cause the only man I'll ever love left me at the altar. Plus I live in a dumpster. "
Leela,"Yeah, I'm just a little down 'cause the only man I'll ever love left me at the altar. Plus I live in a dumpster. ",Zoidberg,You stay out of my dumpster! 
Zoidberg,You stay out of my dumpster! ,Announcer,We interrupt this episode of Everybody Loves Hypnotoad to bring you a special address from Earth President Nixon. 
Announcer,We interrupt this episode of Everybody Loves Hypnotoad to bring you a special address from Earth President Nixon. ,Announcer,"Please, Hypnotoad, it's beyond my control. No! Don't make me kill myseIf! "
Announcer,"Please, Hypnotoad, it's beyond my control. No! Don't make me kill myseIf! ",Nixon,"My fellow Earthicans, I've just received some really great news. I'm about to close a deal that will allow us to buy Earth back from the scammers. "
Nixon,"My fellow Earthicans, I've just received some really great news. I'm about to close a deal that will allow us to buy Earth back from the scammers. ",Bender,That'll teach those scammers and me. 
Bender,That'll teach those scammers and me. ,Nixon,"Just when things looked darkest, I received an e-mail from the Andrrrrrrromeda Galaxy. lt seems we've won their quadrillion-dollar family sweepstakes! "
Nixon,"Just when things looked darkest, I received an e-mail from the Andrrrrrrromeda Galaxy. lt seems we've won their quadrillion-dollar family sweepstakes! ",Leela,"Oh, Lord. "
Leela,"Oh, Lord. ",Nixon,"Baroo! There ... seems to have been some ... We've been scammed again, people. Prepare to evacuate Earth. I mean, New Scamadonia. "
Nixon,"Baroo! There ... seems to have been some ... We've been scammed again, people. Prepare to evacuate Earth. I mean, New Scamadonia. ","Nudar,","Fleb and Schlump: Na-na-na-na, Na-na-na-na, Hey, hey, hey, We took your stuff!, etc."
"Nudar,","Fleb and Schlump: Na-na-na-na, Na-na-na-na, Hey, hey, hey, We took your stuff!, etc.",Leela,All aboard for Neptune! 
Leela,All aboard for Neptune! ,Farnsworth,"Oh, I don't want to go to Neptune. I'll be cold, and heavy. "
Farnsworth,"Oh, I don't want to go to Neptune. I'll be cold, and heavy. ",Nudar,"Thanks for the planet, suckers. "
Nudar,"Thanks for the planet, suckers. ",Bender,"It's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency. "
Zoidberg,"Oh, Yetis. ",Farnsworth,"Amy, you speak Yeti. What are they saying? "
Farnsworth,"Amy, you speak Yeti. What are they saying? ",Amy,"I'm not sure, but it sounds like something to do with... assaulting the interlopers. "
Amy,"I'm not sure, but it sounds like something to do with... assaulting the interlopers. ",Leela,"Don't mess with me, you ice-crapping snow-honkies. I just got dumped. "
Leela,"Don't mess with me, you ice-crapping snow-honkies. I just got dumped. ",Hermes,"Sweet Yeti of the Serengeti, she's gone crazy eddie in the head-y. "
Hermes,"Sweet Yeti of the Serengeti, she's gone crazy eddie in the head-y. ",Inuit,#2: Is that normal? 
Inuit,#2: Is that normal? ,Inuit,#1: No. Perhaps if we were to cook and eat her slightly... 
Inuit,#1: No. Perhaps if we were to cook and eat her slightly... ,Fry-2,"Leave her alone. She just needs me to cheer her up. Wanna sword fight, girl? "
Fry-2,"Leave her alone. She just needs me to cheer her up. Wanna sword fight, girl? ",Fry-2,"That male narwhal seems to be upsetting her. Get us out of here, Captain. Full fast ahead. "
Fry-2,"That male narwhal seems to be upsetting her. Get us out of here, Captain. Full fast ahead. ",Leroy,Damn whale keepers. 
Leroy,Damn whale keepers. ,Leela,Santa! We forgot he's based on Neptune. 
Leela,Santa! We forgot he's based on Neptune. ,Santa,"Oh, my heart's not in it. I'm too depressed for murder and mayhem. "
Santa,"Oh, my heart's not in it. I'm too depressed for murder and mayhem. ",Amy,"Aw, try some antidepressants. They're gummy."
Amy,"Aw, try some antidepressants. They're gummy.",Fry,"What happened, Santa? "
Fry,"What happened, Santa? ",Santa,The scammers cheated me out of my naughty list to use for telemarketing. Can you imagine the harm they could do with that information? I wanted to do that harm! 
Santa,The scammers cheated me out of my naughty list to use for telemarketing. Can you imagine the harm they could do with that information? I wanted to do that harm! ,Leela,That's it. They've gone too far. No more running and hiding. It's time to fight back. 
Leela,That's it. They've gone too far. No more running and hiding. It's time to fight back. ,Santa,"Now, let's not resort to violence, Leela. "
Santa,"Now, let's not resort to violence, Leela. ",Leela,"We're fighting back and you're helping us, you fat holiday idiot. "
Leela,"We're fighting back and you're helping us, you fat holiday idiot. ",Santa,That hurt. You're on the naughty list! 
Santa,That hurt. You're on the naughty list! ,Leela,"So that's our proposal napkin, Mr. President. We have just enough people and ships to mount a ragtag attack. "
Leela,"So that's our proposal napkin, Mr. President. We have just enough people and ships to mount a ragtag attack. ",Nixon,"You wish, missy. Dog-danged scammers used our money to build a fleet of remote-controlled, solid-gold Death Stars. "
Nixon,"You wish, missy. Dog-danged scammers used our money to build a fleet of remote-controlled, solid-gold Death Stars. ",Bender,Ooh! I'd take one of those with a side of chili fries. 
Bender,Ooh! I'd take one of those with a side of chili fries. ,Nixon,"We're hopelessly outgunned. The Force is with us, but that's about it. "
Nixon,"We're hopelessly outgunned. The Force is with us, but that's about it. ",Santa,"Ah, but we have access to a huge manufacturing complex. "
Santa,"Ah, but we have access to a huge manufacturing complex. ",Kwanzabot,Kwanzabot 
Kwanzabot,Kwanzabot ,Chanukah,Zombie
Chanukah,Zombie,Neptunians,"Damn you!  Doo, doo, doodoo!"
Neptunians,"Damn you!  Doo, doo, doodoo!",Neptunians,"Says who? Doo, doo, doodoo!"
Neptunians,"Says who? Doo, doo, doodoo!",Santa,"Yeah, K? "
Santa,"Yeah, K? ",Kwanzabot,CZ? 
Kwanzabot,CZ? ,Santa,Can they sue for liability? 
Santa,Can they sue for liability? ,Nixon,Certainly not! 
Nixon,Certainly not! ,Santa,Use as much as you are able. 
Santa,Use as much as you are able. ,Neptunians,"This bites. Doo, doo, doodoo!"
Neptunians,"This bites. Doo, doo, doodoo!",Leela,"Now, let's fight. "
Leela,"Now, let's fight. ",Nixon,Let's fight.
Nixon,Let's fight.,Neptunians,"Doo, doo, doodoo!"
Neptunians,"Doo, doo, doodoo!",Santa,Okay!
Santa,Okay!,Chestnuts,"roasting,"
Chestnuts,"roasting,",I'm,gonna open fire.
I'm,gonna open fire.,Prepare,for gore galore!
Prepare,for gore galore!,"Santa,",Chanukah Zombie and Kwanzabot: This trinity's going to war! 
"Santa,",Chanukah Zombie and Kwanzabot: This trinity's going to war! ,Leela,"Troops, you are now equipped with the finest weapons magical elves can build. As for the battle plan... "
Leela,"Troops, you are now equipped with the finest weapons magical elves can build. As for the battle plan... ",Nixon,"And now, to present the battle plan, Commander Zapp Brannigan! "
Nixon,"And now, to present the battle plan, Commander Zapp Brannigan! ",Leela,What? 
Leela,What? ,Zapp,"At ease, people. I was redecorating my undisclosed location when I received word of an heroic invasion. Kif, crouch down and shield my thighs from the cold, for God's sake. "
Zapp,"At ease, people. I was redecorating my undisclosed location when I received word of an heroic invasion. Kif, crouch down and shield my thighs from the cold, for God's sake. ",Zapp,"We fight this battle, not for ourselves, but for our children and our children's children. Which is why I'm forming a children's brigade. Will the following youths please step forward? Cubert Farnsworth. "
Zapp,"We fight this battle, not for ourselves, but for our children and our children's children. Which is why I'm forming a children's brigade. Will the following youths please step forward? Cubert Farnsworth. ",Cubert,"Here, sir! "
Cubert,"Here, sir! ",Farnsworth,"My boy. Oh, God, no! "
Farnsworth,"My boy. Oh, God, no! ",Zapp,Dwight Slim. 
Zapp,Dwight Slim. ,Dwight,Here. 
Dwight,Here. ,Hermes,"You took his name? Oh, God, no! In several ways! "
Hermes,"You took his name? Oh, God, no! In several ways! ",Zapp,"Assuming the 15th pile of children buys us a few seconds, we will then execute maneuver 45. Followed by maneuver 44. "
Zapp,"Assuming the 15th pile of children buys us a few seconds, we will then execute maneuver 45. Followed by maneuver 44. ",Kif,Forty-six. 
Kif,Forty-six. ,Zapp,"Oh, great. Now I have to start back at the beginning with maneuver two. "
Zapp,"Oh, great. Now I have to start back at the beginning with maneuver two. ",Kif,One. 
Kif,One. ,Lars,"Admiral, will we stop attacking at any point or is this one of those phony-baloney, feel-good wars like the war on drugs? "
Lars,"Admiral, will we stop attacking at any point or is this one of those phony-baloney, feel-good wars like the war on drugs? ",Zapp,"What's your name, smart mouth? "
Zapp,"What's your name, smart mouth? ",Lars,Lars Fillmore. 
Lars,Lars Fillmore. ,Zapp,"Ah, the lovely Leela's on-again, off-again paramour. Perhaps a suicide mission would knockthe insubordination out of you. "
Zapp,"Ah, the lovely Leela's on-again, off-again paramour. Perhaps a suicide mission would knockthe insubordination out of you. ",Leela,"Yes, yes, yes. "
Leela,"Yes, yes, yes. ",Kif,"We're approaching Earth, sir. "
Kif,"We're approaching Earth, sir. ",Leela,Does anybody mind if I take command? 
Leela,Does anybody mind if I take command? ,Nibbler,No. 
Nibbler,No. ,Sal,Nos. 
Sal,Nos. ,Bubblegum,Nah. 
Bubblegum,Nah. ,Al,Gore: Nope. 
Al,Gore: Nope. ,Cubert,"No, Miss Turanga. "
Cubert,"No, Miss Turanga. ",Donbot,"No, I do not. "
Donbot,"No, I do not. ",Santa,No. 
Santa,No. ,Kwanzabot,It's cool.
Kwanzabot,It's cool.,Chanukah,Zombie: Argh!
Chanukah,Zombie: Argh!,Leela,"All right. Unit one, acquire target A and fire! "
Leela,"All right. Unit one, acquire target A and fire! ",Fleb,Yes! Nailed the children's ship. 
Fleb,Yes! Nailed the children's ship. ,Leela,"Unit 10, Target H, 16-K. Niner, niner, go left! I mean right. "
Leela,"Unit 10, Target H, 16-K. Niner, niner, go left! I mean right. ",Sal,Whoas! 
Sal,Whoas! ,Leela,"55-U. 8-R, 2-V. "
Leela,"55-U. 8-R, 2-V. ",Farnsworth,Bingo! 
Farnsworth,Bingo! ,Hattie,Cheating son of a... 
Hattie,Cheating son of a... ,Al,Gore: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 
Al,Gore: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! ,Leela,It's hopeless! I can't coordinate this many ships! 
Leela,It's hopeless! I can't coordinate this many ships! ,Hermes,"Perhaps I can help! Professor, can you wire my head directly into the battle grid? "
Hermes,"Perhaps I can help! Professor, can you wire my head directly into the battle grid? ",Farnsworth,I can wire anything directly into anything. I'm the professor! 
Farnsworth,I can wire anything directly into anything. I'm the professor! ,Hermes,Then prepare to see a bureaucrat's brain in action. 
Hermes,Then prepare to see a bureaucrat's brain in action. ,Al,"Gore: Finally, I get to save the Earth with deadly lasers instead of deadly slide shows. "
Al,"Gore: Finally, I get to save the Earth with deadly lasers instead of deadly slide shows. ",Clamps,He's champing for a clamping! 
Clamps,He's champing for a clamping! ,Kwanzabot,Kwa-zang! 
Kwanzabot,Kwa-zang! ,Hermes,"I did it! I saved Earth and won back my woman. Right, woman? "
Hermes,"I did it! I saved Earth and won back my woman. Right, woman? ",LaBarbara,"Oh, Hermes, I've been such a fool. Truth be, I married you for your sexy potato body,but I'm staying with you for your sexy potato head. "
LaBarbara,"Oh, Hermes, I've been such a fool. Truth be, I married you for your sexy potato body,but I'm staying with you for your sexy potato head. ",Slim,"You haven't seen the last of Barbados Slim! Now, goodbye forever. "
Slim,"You haven't seen the last of Barbados Slim! Now, goodbye forever. ",Nudar,"Nice attack, doo-doo heads! Too bad we have one last trick up our sleeve!"
Nudar,"Nice attack, doo-doo heads! Too bad we have one last trick up our sleeve!",Amy,I doubt that! 
Amy,I doubt that! ,Nudar,"Remember this, Farnsworth? "
Nudar,"Remember this, Farnsworth? ",Farnsworth,Farnsworth? That's me! My doomsday device! So it was the scammers! They sawed off my hand and stole the doomsday device. 
Farnsworth,Farnsworth? That's me! My doomsday device! So it was the scammers! They sawed off my hand and stole the doomsday device. ,Bender,"lt wasn't them. lt was me, Bender. The master criminal! "
Bender,"lt wasn't them. lt was me, Bender. The master criminal! ",Nudar,So what'll it be? - Unconditional surrender? 
Nudar,So what'll it be? - Unconditional surrender? ,Leela,Never! 
Leela,Never! ,Nudar,Or totaI destruction? 
Nudar,Or totaI destruction? ,Leela,Also never! 
Leela,Also never! ,Nudar,You have 30 seconds. Make up your minds! 
Nudar,You have 30 seconds. Make up your minds! ,Leela,Nevvveeeeer! 
Leela,Nevvveeeeer! ,Bender,Shut up and keep looking apologized to. 
Bender,Shut up and keep looking apologized to. ,Leela,Dum de dum. 
Leela,Dum de dum. ,Nudar,Uh-oh. I have a worrisome shriveling sensation in my sprunjer. 
Nudar,Uh-oh. I have a worrisome shriveling sensation in my sprunjer. ,Amy,Yay! Bender! 
Amy,Yay! Bender! ,Fry,All right! 
Fry,All right! ,Fry,"Bender, how the Hulk did you end up with the doomsday device? "
Fry,"Bender, how the Hulk did you end up with the doomsday device? ",Bender,"I was working the long con all along. While sawing off the professor's hand with an extremely dull saw, I had some time to think. So I asked myself, Who could use a doomsday device more? The scammers or me, Bender?. After several minutes of sawing, I knew the answer. Me, Bender. So I retrieved the dummy satchel ... "
Bender,"I was working the long con all along. While sawing off the professor's hand with an extremely dull saw, I had some time to think. So I asked myself, Who could use a doomsday device more? The scammers or me, Bender?. After several minutes of sawing, I knew the answer. Me, Bender. So I retrieved the dummy satchel ... ",Bender,"(VO) ... and as soon as I was out of the scammers' control, I pulled the old switcheroo. "
Bender,"(VO) ... and as soon as I was out of the scammers' control, I pulled the old switcheroo. ",Bender,And that's how I saved Earth and am the greatest! 
Bender,And that's how I saved Earth and am the greatest! ,Nixon,"Bender the robot, I'm proud to present you Earth's highest award for swindling. The Dirty Double-Cross. "
Nixon,"Bender the robot, I'm proud to present you Earth's highest award for swindling. The Dirty Double-Cross. ",Bender,I'll aways treasure it and immediately hock it. 
Bender,I'll aways treasure it and immediately hock it. ,Lars,"There, your body's good as new. Just pop in an executive suppository every few... "
Lars,"There, your body's good as new. Just pop in an executive suppository every few... ",Fry,What is it? 
Fry,What is it? ,Leela,Nothing. 
Leela,Nothing. ,Fry,"It's supposed to be a celebration, Leela. I mean, come on. Whimmy-wham-wham-whazle! "
Fry,"It's supposed to be a celebration, Leela. I mean, come on. Whimmy-wham-wham-whazle! ",Leela,I can't help it. I was gonna be married. I was so happy. 
Leela,I can't help it. I was gonna be married. I was so happy. ,Fry,"Well, maybe you'll meet someone else someday. "
Fry,"Well, maybe you'll meet someone else someday. ",Leela,"No, you don't understand. Lars is the only man I'll ever love. I know it in my heart. "
Leela,"No, you don't understand. Lars is the only man I'll ever love. I know it in my heart. ",Fry,You remember when we first met? 
Fry,You remember when we first met? ,Leela,"Uh-huh. lt was right there in the cryogenic lab, eight years ago today. "
Leela,"Uh-huh. lt was right there in the cryogenic lab, eight years ago today. ",Fry,Meet me there in five minutes. It's important. 
Fry,Meet me there in five minutes. It's important. ,Fry-2,"Why are you so sad, Leelu? "
Fry-2,"Why are you so sad, Leelu? ",Fry-2,"Wait a second, are you two... "
Fry-2,"Wait a second, are you two... ",Fry-2,"Atanarjuat, Fufu, come here! We have to set Leelu free. "
Fry-2,"Atanarjuat, Fufu, come here! We have to set Leelu free. ",Inuit,#2: Dang. I never should have quit my job at the casino. 
Inuit,#2: Dang. I never should have quit my job at the casino. ,Fry-2,"Me, neither. But she needs what'll make her happy, not what'll make me happy. "
Fry-2,"Me, neither. But she needs what'll make her happy, not what'll make me happy. ",Fry-2,"Goodbye, Leelu. "
Fry-2,"Goodbye, Leelu. ",Lars,"I don't much know about frozen heads, but, of course, if it's Mahatma Gandhi, I'll... Leela? "
Lars,"I don't much know about frozen heads, but, of course, if it's Mahatma Gandhi, I'll... Leela? ",Leela,Lars? 
Leela,Lars? ,Lars,"I... I really have to go, I... "
Lars,"I... I really have to go, I... ",Leela,"Fry, was this an idiotic trick to get Lars and me back together? "
Leela,"Fry, was this an idiotic trick to get Lars and me back together? ",Fry,"Quite idiotic. But you don't need to be an idiot to see that you two belong together. And, Leela,I want what'll make you happy, not what'll make me happy. "
Fry,"Quite idiotic. But you don't need to be an idiot to see that you two belong together. And, Leela,I want what'll make you happy, not what'll make me happy. ",Lars,"I'm sorry, I really am, but Leela and I just can't be married. "
Lars,"I'm sorry, I really am, but Leela and I just can't be married. ",Fry,"Why not? You obviously love each other. What are you, cousins? "
Fry,"Why not? You obviously love each other. What are you, cousins? ",Lars,"Fry, you deserve to know the truth. It's because... "
Lars,"Fry, you deserve to know the truth. It's because... ",Nudar,Nobody move! 
Nudar,Nobody move! ,Leela,Nudar! How did you survive the doom blast? 
Leela,Nudar! How did you survive the doom blast? ,Nudar,"My doom-proof platinum vest absorbed most of the radiation. In retrospect, I wish I'd been wearing doom-proof pants, but you know us nudists. Now give me the time code! "
Nudar,"My doom-proof platinum vest absorbed most of the radiation. In retrospect, I wish I'd been wearing doom-proof pants, but you know us nudists. Now give me the time code! ",Fry,I don't have it! Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt. 
Fry,I don't have it! Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt. ,Nudar,Not you. 
Nudar,Not you. ,Nudar,You! 
Nudar,You! ,Leela,Lars? He doesn't have it. He never had it. Fry had it! 
Leela,Lars? He doesn't have it. He never had it. Fry had it! ,Fry,But Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt! I want to stress that part! 
Fry,But Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt! I want to stress that part! ,Nudar,My throbbing sprunjer says otherwise. Now where is it? 
Nudar,My throbbing sprunjer says otherwise. Now where is it? ,Lars,I'm not afraid of you or your expensive gun! Go ahead and shoot! 
Lars,I'm not afraid of you or your expensive gun! Go ahead and shoot! ,Nudar,"Oh, yeah? Then what if I kill the woman you love? "
Nudar,"Oh, yeah? Then what if I kill the woman you love? ",Leela,"Don't you understand, numb-neck? He doesn't love me! "
Leela,"Don't you understand, numb-neck? He doesn't love me! ",Lars,I've... always loved you. Don't hurt her. I'll give you the code. 
Lars,I've... always loved you. Don't hurt her. I'll give you the code. ,Nudar,What the... 
Nudar,What the... ,Bender-2,Woah! 
Bender-2,Woah! ,Leela,"Lars, no! "
Leela,"Lars, no! ",Fry-2,It's enough just to know you're happy. 
Fry-2,It's enough just to know you're happy. ,Fry-2,"You, too. It's enough to know you're happy with Lars. "
Fry-2,"You, too. It's enough to know you're happy with Lars. ",Fry-2,My hair! 
Fry-2,My hair! ,Fry-2,My larynx! 
Fry-2,My larynx! ,Lars,I'm Lars?  I'm Lars! 
Lars,I'm Lars?  I'm Lars! ,Fry,"Wait for me, Leela! I'll be there in a thousand years. "
Fry,"Wait for me, Leela! I'll be there in a thousand years. ",Lars,"So I got a job at the Head Museum and waited for the wonderful day when Leela would arrive. Everything was perfect until Hermes exploded at our wedding. That's when I learned that, as a time paradox duplicate, I, too, was doomed. I couldn't put Leela through that. So I called it off. I'm sorry, Leela. "
Lars,"So I got a job at the Head Museum and waited for the wonderful day when Leela would arrive. Everything was perfect until Hermes exploded at our wedding. That's when I learned that, as a time paradox duplicate, I, too, was doomed. I couldn't put Leela through that. So I called it off. I'm sorry, Leela. ",Leela,I understand. 
Leela,I understand. ,Crazy,Guy: That concludes another Silly Willy Wideo Will! 
Crazy,Guy: That concludes another Silly Willy Wideo Will! ,Fry,"He was a good man, Leela. "
Fry,"He was a good man, Leela. ",Leela,Yeah... you were. 
Leela,Yeah... you were. ,Farnsworth,"Well, I guess that wraps everything up in a nice, paradox-free bow. "
Farnsworth,"Well, I guess that wraps everything up in a nice, paradox-free bow. ",Bubblegum,"Not quite, my wrinkly brother. "
Bubblegum,"Not quite, my wrinkly brother. ",Nibbler,"Right on! In order for any of this to make any sense at all, someone must make one final trip back in time to put the code on Fry's ass in the first place! "
Nibbler,"Right on! In order for any of this to make any sense at all, someone must make one final trip back in time to put the code on Fry's ass in the first place! ",Bender,"Sounds like a job for me, Bender. "
Bender,"Sounds like a job for me, Bender. ",Bender,"Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero... "
Bender,"Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero... ",Bender,Mission accomplished! 
Bender,Mission accomplished! ,Fry,You put the time code on my ass? 
Fry,You put the time code on my ass? ,Bender,"Someone's ass. Oh, and guess what? I met all these really cool guys with treasure down in the limestone cavern, so I invited them to stick around instead of coming up when they were logically supposed to. "
Bender,"Someone's ass. Oh, and guess what? I met all these really cool guys with treasure down in the limestone cavern, so I invited them to stick around instead of coming up when they were logically supposed to. ",Nibbler,No! No! Everyone out of the universe! Quick! 
Nibbler,No! No! Everyone out of the universe! Quick! ,Bender,What's the worst that can happen? 
Narrator,Previously on Futurama.,Morbo,It has now been one month since space ripped open like flimsy human skin. Terrified earthlings are beginning to grow exhausted.
Morbo,It has now been one month since space ripped open like flimsy human skin. Terrified earthlings are beginning to grow exhausted.,Hermes,"Professor, sprinkle us with wisdom from your mighty brain. How scared should we be?"
Hermes,"Professor, sprinkle us with wisdom from your mighty brain. How scared should we be?",Farnsworth,Somewhere between not at all and entirely.
Farnsworth,Somewhere between not at all and entirely.,Morbo,"Scientists believe the rip is a gateway to another universe, but do not know what mysteries lie beyond. However, in this reporter's opinion gruesome death awaits us all!"
Morbo,"Scientists believe the rip is a gateway to another universe, but do not know what mysteries lie beyond. However, in this reporter's opinion gruesome death awaits us all!",Linda,"And now with sports, here's Sportsbot 5000."
Linda,"And now with sports, here's Sportsbot 5000.",SportsBot,5000: All sports cancelled.
SportsBot,5000: All sports cancelled.,Farnsworth,"To better understand the anomaly, I will now focus its radiation on a giant medium-sized ant to see what happens."
Farnsworth,"To better understand the anomaly, I will now focus its radiation on a giant medium-sized ant to see what happens.",Giant,medium-sized ant: What's going on here? I was told there would be sugar syrup.
Giant,medium-sized ant: What's going on here? I was told there would be sugar syrup.,Fry,"Oh, hey, everyone, this is Colleen."
Fry,"Oh, hey, everyone, this is Colleen.",ALL,Hello!
ALL,Hello!,Amy,I like your shoes.
Amy,I like your shoes.,Bender,This is awkward. Introducing your new girlfriend to Chesty McNag-nag.
Bender,This is awkward. Introducing your new girlfriend to Chesty McNag-nag.,Leela,"Oh, don't mind him. I'II turn him off."
Leela,"Oh, don't mind him. I'II turn him off.",Bender,"Hey, you can't (voice slowing)turn me off..."
Bender,"Hey, you can't (voice slowing)turn me off...",Leela,Hi. I'm Leela.
Leela,Hi. I'm Leela.,Colleen,"Hi, Leela, hi, everyone. Sorry I've been taking up so much of Fry's time. He's just so interesting. Have you seen how much cotton candy he can eat?"
Colleen,"Hi, Leela, hi, everyone. Sorry I've been taking up so much of Fry's time. He's just so interesting. Have you seen how much cotton candy he can eat?",Zoidberg,This lovey-dovey stuff is making me vomit from my saltwater and freshwater stomachs.
Zoidberg,This lovey-dovey stuff is making me vomit from my saltwater and freshwater stomachs.,Leela,It is pretty sickening.
Leela,It is pretty sickening.,Zoidberg,"No, the double-vomit is a sign of joy. Fry told me how he and Colleen first met."
Zoidberg,"No, the double-vomit is a sign of joy. Fry told me how he and Colleen first met.",Zoidberg,"So, how did you and Colleen first meet?"
Zoidberg,"So, how did you and Colleen first meet?",Fry,Well...
Fry,Well...,Fry,Something about seeing it on the Jumbotron makes it so much more real.
Fry,Something about seeing it on the Jumbotron makes it so much more real.,Colleen,It's so scary. What are you supposed to do when the whole universe is coming to an end?
Colleen,It's so scary. What are you supposed to do when the whole universe is coming to an end?,Bender,"This is gonna be juicy. What? Oh, man!"
Bender,"This is gonna be juicy. What? Oh, man!",Amy,"Speaking of sappy love... Want to tell them, Kiffy?"
Amy,"Speaking of sappy love... Want to tell them, Kiffy?",Kif,"Yes, Amy and I have a big announcement. I... That is, we... Oh, I'm just so excited."
Kif,"Yes, Amy and I have a big announcement. I... That is, we... Oh, I'm just so excited.",Zoidberg,Mazel tov!
Zoidberg,Mazel tov!,Farnsworth,Wonderful!
Farnsworth,Wonderful!,Hermes,What the hell does that mean?
Hermes,What the hell does that mean?,Kif,It means I've asked Amy to join my family. And you're all invited to my family swamp for our Fonfon Rubok ceremony.
Kif,It means I've asked Amy to join my family. And you're all invited to my family swamp for our Fonfon Rubok ceremony.,Amy,"If I had ever heard of it, it would have been what I had always dreamed of."
Amy,"If I had ever heard of it, it would have been what I had always dreamed of.",Kif,Oh! And our parents will be meeting for the first time ever.
Kif,Oh! And our parents will be meeting for the first time ever.,Kif,"Mr. And Mrs. Wong, aren't you excited that we're all about to be joined in a single family?"
Kif,"Mr. And Mrs. Wong, aren't you excited that we're all about to be joined in a single family?",Mr.,Wong: You can't borrow money.
Mr.,Wong: You can't borrow money.,Mrs.,Wong
Mrs.,Wong,Kif,"Mrs. Wong, no. The finial stage of my species' life cycle is a colony of flying hookworms. You just squashed part of my father."
Kif,"Mrs. Wong, no. The finial stage of my species' life cycle is a colony of flying hookworms. You just squashed part of my father.",Mr.,Kroker: Welcome.
Mr.,Kroker: Welcome.,Mrs.,"Wong: Sorry. I guess you got plenty of bugs to spare though, huh?"
Mrs.,"Wong: Sorry. I guess you got plenty of bugs to spare though, huh?",Mr.,Kroker: That was my left testicle.
Mr.,Kroker: That was my left testicle.,Bender,"And the awkward meter goes up another notch. Ding, ding, ding, ding ding..."
Bender,"And the awkward meter goes up another notch. Ding, ding, ding, ding ding...",Fry,"Wow, Colleen, you look so beautiful in the light of the swamp gas."
Fry,"Wow, Colleen, you look so beautiful in the light of the swamp gas.",Colleen,Thanks. This is really fun. I love going to exotic worlds and getting hammered.
Colleen,Thanks. This is really fun. I love going to exotic worlds and getting hammered.,Fry,"Me, too."
Fry,"Me, too.",Zapp,"Leela, I can't help but notice you're unescorted. Might I escort you behind that bush for the next five minutes?"
Zapp,"Leela, I can't help but notice you're unescorted. Might I escort you behind that bush for the next five minutes?",Leela,Nothing would revolt me more.
Leela,Nothing would revolt me more.,Zapp,Then how about that shrub?
Zapp,Then how about that shrub?,Kif,Ooh! Rubok is begun.
Kif,Ooh! Rubok is begun.,Grand,Midwife: I am the Grand Priestess.
Grand,Midwife: I am the Grand Priestess.,Fry,Aren't you also the Grand Midwife?
Fry,Aren't you also the Grand Midwife?,Grand,"Midwife: And the grand Lunch Lady. I work five jobs, all grand. Kif of the clan Kroker, please transcend the Rubok Etlon with your Fonfon Smizmar Ru."
Grand,"Midwife: And the grand Lunch Lady. I work five jobs, all grand. Kif of the clan Kroker, please transcend the Rubok Etlon with your Fonfon Smizmar Ru.",Kif,What?
Kif,What?,Grand,"Midwife As you become one with the ooze, so you become one with the clan Kroker."
Grand,"Midwife As you become one with the ooze, so you become one with the clan Kroker.",Amy,"Oh, Kif, it's like a movie with this happening in it."
Amy,"Oh, Kif, it's like a movie with this happening in it.",Grand,Midwife: Is the best man present?
Grand,Midwife: Is the best man present?,Zapp,Guilty as charged.
Zapp,Guilty as charged.,Grand,Midwife: Kindly hose the couple.
Grand,Midwife: Kindly hose the couple.,Grand,Midwife It's not part of the ceremony. I just had an extra snake. Rubok is complete. Throw the bouquet.
Grand,Midwife It's not part of the ceremony. I just had an extra snake. Rubok is complete. Throw the bouquet.,Bender,"Fry, run, run. Get over here, oh, my God, oh, my God!"
Bender,"Fry, run, run. Get over here, oh, my God, oh, my God!",Fry,What? What is it?
Fry,What? What is it?,Bender,Shut up already! Calculon's on TV!
Bender,Shut up already! Calculon's on TV!,Monique,"I beg you, Calculon, don't ring that door chime."
Monique,"I beg you, Calculon, don't ring that door chime.",Calculon,"I have no choice, Monique. Whoever the blackmailer is, he lives behind this hideous yet strangely familiar door."
Calculon,"I have no choice, Monique. Whoever the blackmailer is, he lives behind this hideous yet strangely familiar door.",Human,"Friend: Calculon residence. Oh, hello, Mr. Calculon."
Human,"Friend: Calculon residence. Oh, hello, Mr. Calculon.",Calculon,"Son of a bit. This is my house. But that means I'm blackmailing myself. Why didn't you tell me, Monique?"
Calculon,"Son of a bit. This is my house. But that means I'm blackmailing myself. Why didn't you tell me, Monique?",Monique,"I tried to, but I couldn’t. Oh, Calculon, I'm afraid you have a fourth personality the other three don't know about, and it and I are lovers!"
Monique,"I tried to, but I couldn’t. Oh, Calculon, I'm afraid you have a fourth personality the other three don't know about, and it and I are lovers!",Bender,"How's Calculon going to take this, Fry, especially after that humiliating tennis tournament? Fry?"
Bender,"How's Calculon going to take this, Fry, especially after that humiliating tennis tournament? Fry?",Fry,"Don't know, Bender. Tonight's my big date with Colleen. I got to run."
Fry,"Don't know, Bender. Tonight's my big date with Colleen. I got to run.",Bender,"But me and you like to watch together. Look, I got you a cabbage to snack on. Humans like cabbage, right?"
Bender,"But me and you like to watch together. Look, I got you a cabbage to snack on. Humans like cabbage, right?",Carnival,"Barker Keep your hands in the car, shut up, and have fun."
Carnival,"Barker Keep your hands in the car, shut up, and have fun.",Fry,"Wow, you even look beautiful in 2D."
Fry,"Wow, you even look beautiful in 2D.",Fry,"A really hot line segment. So, listen, sweetie pie, I was thinking maybe we should take this to the next step."
Fry,"A really hot line segment. So, listen, sweetie pie, I was thinking maybe we should take this to the next step.",Colleen,Really?
Colleen,Really?,Fry,Yes. Colleen...will you be moved in with by me?
Fry,Yes. Colleen...will you be moved in with by me?,Colleen,(SOFT GASP)
Colleen,(SOFT GASP),Amy,Way to go.
Amy,Way to go.,Zoidberg,"Hooray, hooray."
Zoidberg,"Hooray, hooray.",Leela,That's great.
Leela,That's great.,Bender,I could just curl up at the foot of the bed. (WHIMPERING)
Bender,I could just curl up at the foot of the bed. (WHIMPERING),Farnsworth,"Listen up, everyone. I know you've all been extremely worried about the cosmic anomaly."
Farnsworth,"Listen up, everyone. I know you've all been extremely worried about the cosmic anomaly.",Hermes,"The what? Oh, right."
Hermes,"The what? Oh, right.",Farnsworth,But there's good news! We're all going to learn more about it at a scientific conference.
Farnsworth,But there's good news! We're all going to learn more about it at a scientific conference.,Man,walking on screen: ...like a city made of marshmallow.
Man,walking on screen: ...like a city made of marshmallow.,Stephen,Hawking's head: Welcome. I am the pickled head of Stephen Hawking on a way-cool rocket.
Stephen,Hawking's head: Welcome. I am the pickled head of Stephen Hawking on a way-cool rocket.,Leela,(embarrassed)
Leela,(embarrassed),Stephen,Hawking: You should have.
Stephen,Hawking: You should have.,Stephen,"Hawking: In conclusion, I understand nothing about the anomaly, even after cashing the huge check I got for writing a book about it."
Stephen,"Hawking: In conclusion, I understand nothing about the anomaly, even after cashing the huge check I got for writing a book about it.",Farnsworth,"(standing up): I know this anomaly is terrifying. But as scientists, is it not our sworn duty to seek out knowledge, even at the cost of our very lives?"
Farnsworth,"(standing up): I know this anomaly is terrifying. But as scientists, is it not our sworn duty to seek out knowledge, even at the cost of our very lives?",Stephen,Hawking: No.
Stephen,Hawking: No.,Farnsworth,I say we must mount an expedition to the anomaly forthwith.
Farnsworth,I say we must mount an expedition to the anomaly forthwith.,Wernstrom,I agree.
Wernstrom,I agree.,Farnsworth,Wernstrom!
Farnsworth,Wernstrom!,Farnsworth,Don't listen to that crackpot!
Farnsworth,Don't listen to that crackpot!,Wernstrom,But I'm agreeing with you.
Wernstrom,But I'm agreeing with you.,Wernstrom,I volunteer to lead the expedition. I have a squad of graduate students eager to risk their lives for a letter of recommendation.
Wernstrom,I volunteer to lead the expedition. I have a squad of graduate students eager to risk their lives for a letter of recommendation.,Farnsworth,Your squad sucks bosons! My team is twice as qualified and three times as expendable.
Farnsworth,Your squad sucks bosons! My team is twice as qualified and three times as expendable.,The,PE Crew (standing up): Yeah!
The,PE Crew (standing up): Yeah!,Wernstrom,"Oh, tough talk for someone with only one Fields Medal."
Wernstrom,"Oh, tough talk for someone with only one Fields Medal.",Crowd,Ooh!
Crowd,Ooh!,Stephen,Hawking: Ooh!
Stephen,Hawking: Ooh!,Farnsworth,"Wernstrom, I ought to..."
Farnsworth,"Wernstrom, I ought to...",Stephen,Hawking: I didn't know I could do that. Now quiet down and settle this like men of science.
Stephen,Hawking: I didn't know I could do that. Now quiet down and settle this like men of science.,Professor,(sitting down): Very well.
Professor,(sitting down): Very well.,Professor,(VO): Let Deathball begin!
Professor,(VO): Let Deathball begin!,Farnsworth,"Go, Planet Express!"
Farnsworth,"Go, Planet Express!",Wernstrom,"Go even more, my team!"
Colleen,(with two beers in her hands): Woo hoo! Bust those balls!,Leela,"Come on, Bender! Your grandmother could push harder than that!"
Leela,"Come on, Bender! Your grandmother could push harder than that!",Bender,No crap. My grandmother was a bulldozer.
Bender,No crap. My grandmother was a bulldozer.,Bender,And thus metal man defeated meat man. The end.
Bender,And thus metal man defeated meat man. The end.,Colleen,"Come here, winner!"
Colleen,"Come here, winner!",Colleen,(looking at one of Wernstrom's players)
Colleen,(looking at one of Wernstrom's players),Fry,"(confused): Colleen, what are you doing? My face is over here."
Fry,"(confused): Colleen, what are you doing? My face is over here.",Colleen,"This is my boyfriend, silly!"
Colleen,"This is my boyfriend, silly!",Fry,(confused): I thought I was your boyfriend.
Fry,(confused): I thought I was your boyfriend.,Colleen,You are.
Colleen,You are.,Fry,"(confused): Well, how can you have two boyfriends?"
Fry,"(confused): Well, how can you have two boyfriends?",Colleen,"Fry, meet Chu, Bolt, Ndulu, and Shlomo."
Colleen,"Fry, meet Chu, Bolt, Ndulu, and Shlomo.",Chu,Nihow.
Chu,Nihow.,Ndulu,Greetings.
Ndulu,Greetings.,Bolt,Pleasure.
Bolt,Pleasure.,Fry,But... But...
Fry,But... But...,Colleen,Shlomo and Ndulu will help you move your stuff into my apartment tonight.
Colleen,Shlomo and Ndulu will help you move your stuff into my apartment tonight.,Ndulu,"Welcome to the relationship, buddy!"
Ndulu,"Welcome to the relationship, buddy!",Chu,There's my butterscotch.
Chu,There's my butterscotch.,Farnsworth,"Congratulations, Deathballers! We've won the right to explore the anomaly!"
Farnsworth,"Congratulations, Deathballers! We've won the right to explore the anomaly!",Zoidberg,What? I thought I was playing for my freedom!
Zoidberg,What? I thought I was playing for my freedom!,Farnsworth,"Now, I've often said good news when sending you on a mission of extreme danger. So when I say this anomaly is dangerous, you can imagine how dangerous I really think it is."
Farnsworth,"Now, I've often said good news when sending you on a mission of extreme danger. So when I say this anomaly is dangerous, you can imagine how dangerous I really think it is.",Hermes,Not dangerous at all?
Hermes,Not dangerous at all?,Farnsworth,"Actually, quite dangerous indeed."
Farnsworth,"Actually, quite dangerous indeed.",Hermes,That is quite dangerous!
Hermes,That is quite dangerous!,Farnsworth,Indeed. Now stop shilly-shallying! Prep the ship and line up for your pre-flight coffee enemas!
Farnsworth,Indeed. Now stop shilly-shallying! Prep the ship and line up for your pre-flight coffee enemas!,Fry,"I don't know what to do, Leela. Should I move in with Colleen and her four other boyfriends?"
Fry,"I don't know what to do, Leela. Should I move in with Colleen and her four other boyfriends?",Leela,What are you going to do? Sleep in a big pile like hamsters?
Leela,What are you going to do? Sleep in a big pile like hamsters?,Fry,No! It's not like that. Everyone gets his own room and a shelf in the refrigerator.
Fry,No! It's not like that. Everyone gets his own room and a shelf in the refrigerator.,Zoidberg,"(walking by): Take the deal, Fry! If there's a delicious cake, isn't it better to have one slice than none at all? Even if four other guys eat the other four slices, and they're all thrusting their sweaty naked bodies against the cake?"
Zoidberg,"(walking by): Take the deal, Fry! If there's a delicious cake, isn't it better to have one slice than none at all? Even if four other guys eat the other four slices, and they're all thrusting their sweaty naked bodies against the cake?",Amy,(with Kif)
Amy,(with Kif),Fry,Yeah. I do love her.
Fry,Yeah. I do love her.,Kif,(high pitched voice)
Kif,(high pitched voice),Farnsworth,Whoa!
Farnsworth,Whoa!,Enema,Bot: Double espresso for Philip Fry?
Enema,Bot: Double espresso for Philip Fry?,Fry,"(standing up): Sorry, I'm not going on the mission. I'm moving in with Colleen!"
Fry,"(standing up): Sorry, I'm not going on the mission. I'm moving in with Colleen!",Kif,"Good for you, Fry."
Kif,"Good for you, Fry.",Zoidberg,Hooray!
Zoidberg,Hooray!,Amy,Alright!
Amy,Alright!,Colleen,Welcome to your new home!
Colleen,Welcome to your new home!,Fry,I'm just happy to be here with you.
Fry,I'm just happy to be here with you.,Ndulu,Want a slice of delicious cake?
Ndulu,Want a slice of delicious cake?,Bender(VO),(Gasps) The anomaly!
Bender(VO),(Gasps) The anomaly!,Amy,It's so anomalous.
Amy,It's so anomalous.,Hermes,I'm feeling dread deep in my dreads!
Hermes,I'm feeling dread deep in my dreads!,Farnsworth,Wernstrom!
Farnsworth,Wernstrom!,Wernstrom,"Yes, and I'm afraid I have disturbing news about the anomaly. You see..."
Wernstrom,"Yes, and I'm afraid I have disturbing news about the anomaly. You see...",Farnsworth,"How did you get this number? Hermes, hang up on him in the rudest possible manner."
Farnsworth,"How did you get this number? Hermes, hang up on him in the rudest possible manner.",Hermes,(saluting Farnsworth)
Hermes,(saluting Farnsworth),Colleen,"I've got good wine, five sweethearts, and today, I was promoted to Chief of Police."
Colleen,"I've got good wine, five sweethearts, and today, I was promoted to Chief of Police.",Fry,(toasting Colleen): Here's to you.
Fry,(toasting Colleen): Here's to you.,Chu,Me?
Chu,Me?,Fry,"No, Colleen. I'm making a romantic toast."
Fry,"No, Colleen. I'm making a romantic toast.",Chu,Sorry.
Chu,Sorry.,Fry,You have the most beautiful eyes I think I...
Fry,You have the most beautiful eyes I think I...,Ndulu,Thank you.
Ndulu,Thank you.,Fry,I'm not talking to you!
Fry,I'm not talking to you!,Ndulu,"Then I am not talking to you, either."
Ndulu,"Then I am not talking to you, either.",Schlomo,Will everyone be quiet a little? I want to hear what he has to say!
Schlomo,Will everyone be quiet a little? I want to hear what he has to say!,Fry,Thank you.
Fry,Thank you.,Schlomo,"Not you, you Verstinkener. You're just here 'cause she likes cave men from the stupid ages."
Schlomo,"Not you, you Verstinkener. You're just here 'cause she likes cave men from the stupid ages.",Bolt,"Oh, look who's talking. You're just here 'cause she got matzoh fever."
Bolt,"Oh, look who's talking. You're just here 'cause she got matzoh fever.",Ndulu,"So, what's the explanation for you, moron fever? (laughs)"
Ndulu,"So, what's the explanation for you, moron fever? (laughs)",Colleen,"Enough! All of you! I love you. Most people in this world don't have what we have. Let's just be grateful, okay?"
Colleen,"Enough! All of you! I love you. Most people in this world don't have what we have. Let's just be grateful, okay?",All,Yeah.
All,Yeah.,Chu,"Yeah, you're right."
Chu,"Yeah, you're right.",Fry,"So, Colleen, you look really nice."
Fry,"So, Colleen, you look really nice.",Colleen,There he is. Don't wait up!
Colleen,There he is. Don't wait up!,Fry,(angrily)
Fry,(angrily),Ndulu,Me?
Ndulu,Me?,Bender,(stammering) What's everybody looking at me for?
Bender,(stammering) What's everybody looking at me for?,Bender,Let's send a robot to explore it. 'Cause you can always buy another one for 20 bucks.
Bender,Let's send a robot to explore it. 'Cause you can always buy another one for 20 bucks.,Leela,Really?
Leela,Really?,Bender,"Well, it's 30 bucks, and there's a $10-mail-in rebate. When the League of Robots hears about this, they won't be pleased. Oh, you'll pay, my darlings."
Bender,"Well, it's 30 bucks, and there's a $10-mail-in rebate. When the League of Robots hears about this, they won't be pleased. Oh, you'll pay, my darlings.",Hermes,"The League of Robots doesn't exist, tin mon. It's just a cartoon for babies."
Hermes,"The League of Robots doesn't exist, tin mon. It's just a cartoon for babies.",Bender,Answer that with your precious logic.
Bender,Answer that with your precious logic.,Bender,(within inches of the anomaly)
Bender,(within inches of the anomaly),Bender,So that's what happened.
Bender,So that's what happened.,Amy,"Hey, Bender! Look who's here to cheer you up."
Amy,"Hey, Bender! Look who's here to cheer you up.",Bender,I don't need cheering up. I'm perfectly...
Bender,I don't need cheering up. I'm perfectly...,Calculon,"(entering the room): Greetings, sick fan."
Calculon,"(entering the room): Greetings, sick fan.",Bender,(Gasps) TV's Calculon! (He coughs)
Bender,(Gasps) TV's Calculon! (He coughs),Calculon,"That fulfills my community service, right?"
Calculon,"That fulfills my community service, right?",Ron,Whitey Ow!
Ron,Whitey Ow!,Colleen,"(sobbing): Where did we go wrong, Fry? We were meant to be together!"
Colleen,"(sobbing): Where did we go wrong, Fry? We were meant to be together!",Schlomo,"Nu, I'm freezing my tokhes off here."
Schlomo,"Nu, I'm freezing my tokhes off here.",Colleen,"(happily): Just a sec, honey!"
Colleen,"(happily): Just a sec, honey!",Bender,I finally know what I want to be when I grow up.
Bender,I finally know what I want to be when I grow up.,Hermes,You want to co-star in his TV show? Like that time you already did that?
Hermes,You want to co-star in his TV show? Like that time you already did that?,Bender,No. I'm gonna be a stalker!
Bender,No. I'm gonna be a stalker!,Leela,That's not really a career. More of a felony.
Leela,That's not really a career. More of a felony.,Bender,Ooh! Big news on the Calculon fan site! There's a flash mob headed for his plastic surgeon's office!
Bender,Ooh! Big news on the Calculon fan site! There's a flash mob headed for his plastic surgeon's office!,Plastic,"Surgeon: There, that's as big as I can make it. But I caution you, it looks completely unrealistic."
Plastic,"Surgeon: There, that's as big as I can make it. But I caution you, it looks completely unrealistic.",Calculon,You let me worry about that! Just do your job.
Calculon,You let me worry about that! Just do your job.,Plastic,Surgeon: Very well. Will you be using your SAG insurance?
Plastic,Surgeon: Very well. Will you be using your SAG insurance?,Calculon,"Dear God, no!"
Calculon,"Dear God, no!",Man,Get a shot of that.
Man,Get a shot of that.,Crazed,"Fan: Calculon, I love you! Have my baby!"
Crazed,"Fan: Calculon, I love you! Have my baby!",Crazed,Fan: He touched me!
Crazed,Fan: He touched me!,Farnsworth,"(sniffing)(VO) Leela, smell this."
Farnsworth,"(sniffing)(VO) Leela, smell this.",Leela,Can I wipe it off first?
Leela,Can I wipe it off first?,Farnsworth,"No time, woman! No time!"
Farnsworth,"No time, woman! No time!",Leela,(sniffing)
Leela,(sniffing),Farnsworth,"Exactly! That's a discontinuous electromagnetic field. Wernstrom tried to warn me, but I was too damn stubborn! Hermes, get Wernstrom on the line so I can apologize."
Farnsworth,"Exactly! That's a discontinuous electromagnetic field. Wernstrom tried to warn me, but I was too damn stubborn! Hermes, get Wernstrom on the line so I can apologize.",Wernstrom,Ogden Wernstrom speaking.
Wernstrom,Ogden Wernstrom speaking.,Farnsworth,(whispering): Tell him I'm not here!
Farnsworth,(whispering): Tell him I'm not here!,Leela,Professor!
Leela,Professor!,Farnsworth,"Oh, very well. Wernstrom, I've been a vainglorious fool! If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, your tiny little heart, would you consider a scientific collaboration?"
Farnsworth,"Oh, very well. Wernstrom, I've been a vainglorious fool! If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, your tiny little heart, would you consider a scientific collaboration?",Wernstrom,Observe.
Wernstrom,Observe.,Pocket,Pal: Play time is fun time.
Pocket,Pal: Play time is fun time.,Wernstrom,(while hurling the robot into the anomaly): Not this time.
Wernstrom,(while hurling the robot into the anomaly): Not this time.,Farnsworth,"My heavens! If only I'd heeded your warning, I'd have known it was impossible to cross the barrier!"
Farnsworth,"My heavens! If only I'd heeded your warning, I'd have known it was impossible to cross the barrier!",Wernstrom,(while opening a barrel labelled Lab Animals)
Wernstrom,(while opening a barrel labelled Lab Animals),Farnsworth,"So living beings can enter the other universe, but electrical devices can't?"
Farnsworth,"So living beings can enter the other universe, but electrical devices can't?",Wernstrom,My hypothesis exactly.
Wernstrom,My hypothesis exactly.,Farnsworth,Then we must mount a second expedition without delay. Right after we blow up more robots.
Farnsworth,Then we must mount a second expedition without delay. Right after we blow up more robots.,Wernstrom,Agreed.
Wernstrom,Agreed.,Farnsworth,Play time is fun time.
Farnsworth,Play time is fun time.,Calculon,Who are you?
Calculon,Who are you?,Bender,"Bender, your biggest fan."
Bender,"Bender, your biggest fan.",Calculon,Are you going to murder me?
Calculon,Are you going to murder me?,Calculon,"Sir, your derangement is impressive. I'm appointing you my official stalker."
Calculon,"Sir, your derangement is impressive. I'm appointing you my official stalker.",Farnsworth,"Now that I've teamed up with my friend, Dr. (spiteful tone) Wernstrom, (normal tone) I feel certain we can successfully penetrate the other universe."
Farnsworth,"Now that I've teamed up with my friend, Dr. (spiteful tone) Wernstrom, (normal tone) I feel certain we can successfully penetrate the other universe.",Wernstrom,It's the greatest scientific opportunity since you yourself sent men to the moon in 1969.
Wernstrom,It's the greatest scientific opportunity since you yourself sent men to the moon in 1969.,Nixon,I always regretted that. Nothing up there but dry rocks and those revolting onion men.
Nixon,I always regretted that. Nothing up there but dry rocks and those revolting onion men.,Farnsworth,But...
Farnsworth,But...,Nixon,"You East Coast intellectuals had your chance. Now beat it! From here on in, this is a military matter."
Nixon,"You East Coast intellectuals had your chance. Now beat it! From here on in, this is a military matter.",Nixon,"People of the universe, please welcome Rear Brigadier Zapp Brannigan."
Nixon,"People of the universe, please welcome Rear Brigadier Zapp Brannigan.",Zapp,"(To crowd) Ever since man first left his cave and met a stranger with a different language and a new way of looking at things, the human race has had a dream. To kill him, so we don't have to learn his language or his new way of looking at things."
Zapp,"(To crowd) Ever since man first left his cave and met a stranger with a different language and a new way of looking at things, the human race has had a dream. To kill him, so we don't have to learn his language or his new way of looking at things.",Wernstrom,Give science a chance!
Wernstrom,Give science a chance!,Farnsworth,"Less invasions, more equations!"
Farnsworth,"Less invasions, more equations!",Nixon,"Damn long-hairs. Knock some sense into them, Chief O'Hallahan."
Nixon,"Damn long-hairs. Knock some sense into them, Chief O'Hallahan.",Fry,"(sobbing): I can't take it, Leela. I need to go away. Far away, forever."
Fry,"(sobbing): I can't take it, Leela. I need to go away. Far away, forever.",Leela,"Aw, I know how you feel, Fry. There are times when I also feel like you need to go away."
Leela,"Aw, I know how you feel, Fry. There are times when I also feel like you need to go away.",Amy,"Be careful, my little, teeny, greeny weenie."
Amy,"Be careful, my little, teeny, greeny weenie.",Zapp,"(grabbing/covering his groin): That's just a fungal infection... Oh, she's talking to you, Kif."
Zapp,"(grabbing/covering his groin): That's just a fungal infection... Oh, she's talking to you, Kif.",Bender,"(to Calculon): Wow, how come humans get to do all the fun stuff? This is exactly the sort of thing that ought to be handled by (whispering) The League of Robots."
Bender,"(to Calculon): Wow, how come humans get to do all the fun stuff? This is exactly the sort of thing that ought to be handled by (whispering) The League of Robots.",Calculon,"(He laughs.) That's adorable, Bender. You actually believe in the League of Robots?"
Calculon,"(He laughs.) That's adorable, Bender. You actually believe in the League of Robots?",Bender,"You mean, there's really no such thing? Then who's there to mete out justice when an outdated robot is melted into belt buckles? Who's there to defend our honour when a rude human brings a blush to a robo-virgin's cheek?"
Bender,"You mean, there's really no such thing? Then who's there to mete out justice when an outdated robot is melted into belt buckles? Who's there to defend our honour when a rude human brings a blush to a robo-virgin's cheek?",Calculon,No one.
Calculon,No one.,Bender,Oh.
Bender,Oh.,Bender,"(VO): Now that I know robots are worthless, with no League of Robots to protect us from the fleshy menace known as man, I have resolved to kill myself. In lieu of flowers, please beat yourselves in the face with rusty chains. Your friend, Bender."
Bender,"(VO): Now that I know robots are worthless, with no League of Robots to protect us from the fleshy menace known as man, I have resolved to kill myself. In lieu of flowers, please beat yourselves in the face with rusty chains. Your friend, Bender.",Zoidberg,Ow.
Zoidberg,Ow.,Suicide,Booth: Please select mode of death.
Suicide,Booth: Please select mode of death.,Bender,"Clumsy bludgeoning, please."
Bender,"Clumsy bludgeoning, please.",Suicide,"Booth: You have selected clumsy bludgeoning. For an additional $10, would you like your eyes scooped out with a melon-baller?"
Suicide,"Booth: You have selected clumsy bludgeoning. For an additional $10, would you like your eyes scooped out with a melon-baller?",Bender,"What the heck, I'll treat myself."
Bender,"What the heck, I'll treat myself.",Zapp,Enemy in range. Prepare to launch universe-to-universe missile.
Zapp,Enemy in range. Prepare to launch universe-to-universe missile.,Zapp,"Hell of a thing to send a universe to certain doom. Fun, though. Makes a man feel big."
Zapp,"Hell of a thing to send a universe to certain doom. Fun, though. Makes a man feel big.",Bender,"(tapping his foot): Come on, come on, I didn't ask to die of boredom!"
Bender,"(tapping his foot): Come on, come on, I didn't ask to die of boredom!",Suicide,Booth
Suicide,Booth,Bender,What's... What's happening?
Bender,What's... What's happening?,Hooded,Robot: Kneel before the candle.
Hooded,Robot: Kneel before the candle.,Bender,Don't hurt me! I'll betray anyone!
Bender,Don't hurt me! I'll betray anyone!,Hooded,Robot: Bender Bending Rodriguez...
Hooded,Robot: Bender Bending Rodriguez...,Calculon,Welcome to the League of Robots!
Calculon,Welcome to the League of Robots!,Francine,Missile jam. Missile jam.
Francine,Missile jam. Missile jam.,Zapp,"I heard you the first time, Francine."
Zapp,"I heard you the first time, Francine.",Francine,Sorry.
Francine,Sorry.,Calculon,"Tell us, Bender. Are you worthy of membership in the League?"
Calculon,"Tell us, Bender. Are you worthy of membership in the League?",Bender,Worthier than the average robot.
Bender,Worthier than the average robot.,Calculon,Upon each step is a test.
Calculon,Upon each step is a test.,Bender,"Okay, but if it's culturally biased, I'm suing your ass."
Bender,"Okay, but if it's culturally biased, I'm suing your ass.",British,"Robot: Quite right, quite so."
British,"Robot: Quite right, quite so.",ALL,Drink the mug! Drink the mug!
ALL,Drink the mug! Drink the mug!,ALL,Hurray!
ALL,Hurray!,Hedonism,Bot: The test of the flagon!
Hedonism,Bot: The test of the flagon!,ALL,Drink the flagon! Drink the flagon!
ALL,Drink the flagon! Drink the flagon!,Bender,Are all the tests going to involve drinking?
Bender,Are all the tests going to involve drinking?,Calculon,"It never occurred to me before, but yes."
Calculon,"It never occurred to me before, but yes.",Zapp,"Ready yet, Kif?"
Zapp,"Ready yet, Kif?",Kif,"(tinkering with the missile, legs hanging out of the missile bay)"
Kif,"(tinkering with the missile, legs hanging out of the missile bay)",Billionaire,Bot
Billionaire,Bot,Fender,"That's right, baby!"
Fender,"That's right, baby!",Bender,Hot diggity daffodil!
Bender,Hot diggity daffodil!,Fry,"And so, to everyone and everything I've ever known, I say my last goodbye."
Fry,"And so, to everyone and everything I've ever known, I say my last goodbye.",Kif,"Hello. So, how are you, Fry?"
Kif,"Hello. So, how are you, Fry?",Fry,Pretty good. You?
Fry,Pretty good. You?,Kif,Well... Oh.
Kif,Well... Oh.,Amy,(sobbing): At least Kiffy died quickly.
Amy,(sobbing): At least Kiffy died quickly.,Hermes,"Yes, but according to the Old Farmer's Wikipedia, the amazing thing about Kif's species is that the remains continue suffering for up to six hours after death."
Hermes,"Yes, but according to the Old Farmer's Wikipedia, the amazing thing about Kif's species is that the remains continue suffering for up to six hours after death.",Amy,(sobbing): That's so interesting!
Amy,(sobbing): That's so interesting!,Bender,"Don't ask where I was last night. For all you know, I was at home, perhaps baking a strudel. What's her problem? Somebody die or something?"
Bender,"Don't ask where I was last night. For all you know, I was at home, perhaps baking a strudel. What's her problem? Somebody die or something?",Leela,"Kif's dead, Bender."
Leela,"Kif's dead, Bender.",Bender,Nailed it!
Bender,Nailed it!,Mrs.,"Wong: We so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Kroker. Terrible shame about Froggy."
Mrs.,"Wong: We so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Kroker. Terrible shame about Froggy.",Mrs.,Kroker: Thank you for your kind words.
Mrs.,Kroker: Thank you for your kind words.,Mr.,Wong
Mr.,Wong,Bender,This is from the league of you-don't-need-to-know.
Bender,This is from the league of you-don't-need-to-know.,Grand,Midwife: I am the grand funeral director!
Grand,Midwife: I am the grand funeral director!,Zoidberg,Do you validate parking?
Zoidberg,Do you validate parking?,Grand,Midwife
Grand,Midwife,Leela,Whack the bottle!
Leela,Whack the bottle!,Hermes,"No, from the bottom ! It works better!"
Hermes,"No, from the bottom ! It works better!",Amy,(sobbing): Just stick a butter knife in it!
Amy,(sobbing): Just stick a butter knife in it!,Grand,"Midwife There, I got most of it. The burial is complete. I will now sing the sacred hymn. It's not part of the ceremony, just a little something that I wrote."
Grand,"Midwife There, I got most of it. The burial is complete. I will now sing the sacred hymn. It's not part of the ceremony, just a little something that I wrote.",Bender,(interrupting the song): Next!
Bender,(interrupting the song): Next!,Amy,"It may sound strange, but seeing Kif's mutilated remains poured into the mud made me really sad."
Amy,"It may sound strange, but seeing Kif's mutilated remains poured into the mud made me really sad.",Leela,Mutilation is never easy.
Leela,Mutilation is never easy.,Amy,(crying): I don't think I'll ever love again.
Amy,(crying): I don't think I'll ever love again.,Leela,"Oh, you don't mean that. Love can surprise you at any time in your life."
Leela,"Oh, you don't mean that. Love can surprise you at any time in your life.",Farnsworth,Regular or conjugal?
Farnsworth,Regular or conjugal?,URL,She looked like a freak to me.
URL,She looked like a freak to me.,Farnsworth,I don't understand. Are you winking or blinking?
Farnsworth,I don't understand. Are you winking or blinking?,Leela,Hang on a second.
Leela,Hang on a second.,Farnsworth,Got it!
Farnsworth,Got it!,Bender,"Ahh, yes, I'm here to repair my horse."
Bender,"Ahh, yes, I'm here to repair my horse.",Shop,Owner: Is the horse's name (whispers) Hot Beans?
Shop,Owner: Is the horse's name (whispers) Hot Beans?,Bender,"No! I mean, yes."
Bender,"No! I mean, yes.",British,"Robot: So it seems a human had been rather injured by a knife, and as his... As his blood, you know, I think that's what they call it..."
British,"Robot: So it seems a human had been rather injured by a knife, and as his... As his blood, you know, I think that's what they call it...",Calculon,"Quite correct, sir. Blather on!"
Calculon,"Quite correct, sir. Blather on!",British,"Robot but he was unable to complete his thought, you see, being as he had died. So, taking him at his word, we dragged his corpse to the waterfront, whereupon the seagulls fed upon it."
British,"Robot but he was unable to complete his thought, you see, being as he had died. So, taking him at his word, we dragged his corpse to the waterfront, whereupon the seagulls fed upon it.",Bender,Humans are dumb and they die easy!
Bender,Humans are dumb and they die easy!,Hedonism,Bot: Quite!
Hedonism,Bot: Quite!,Billionaire,"Bot Cost me a king's ransom. Made from a king, don't you know!"
Billionaire,"Bot Cost me a king's ransom. Made from a king, don't you know!",Hedonism,"Bot: Oh, how repulsively decadent!"
Hedonism,"Bot: Oh, how repulsively decadent!",Billionaire,"Bot: Yes. But more importantly, it allows me to see the smiling faces of my children for the first time since I lost my vision in that horrible banking accident."
Billionaire,"Bot: Yes. But more importantly, it allows me to see the smiling faces of my children for the first time since I lost my vision in that horrible banking accident.",Hedonism,Bot: I say!
Hedonism,Bot: I say!,Billionaire,Bot: I'm blind!
Billionaire,Bot: I'm blind!,Calculon,"My God, Bender! This is a civilized organization! The rules specifically..."
Calculon,"My God, Bender! This is a civilized organization! The rules specifically...",Bender,"May I make a point of order, President Calculon?"
Bender,"May I make a point of order, President Calculon?",Calculon,Must you?
Calculon,Must you?,Bender,Yes.
Bender,Yes.,Bender,"The bylaws specifically state that no human may set foot in the League of Robots! If he has a human part, he's part human!"
Bender,"The bylaws specifically state that no human may set foot in the League of Robots! If he has a human part, he's part human!",Hedonism,"Bot: Oh, my! Then I too have a human part I must expel. And I plan to enjoy the experience. Ta-ta !"
Hedonism,"Bot: Oh, my! Then I too have a human part I must expel. And I plan to enjoy the experience. Ta-ta !",British,"Robot: Bender, you've rigidly applied the law with no regard for its intent. Well done! You'll go far in this organization."
British,"Robot: Bender, you've rigidly applied the law with no regard for its intent. Well done! You'll go far in this organization.",Wernstrom,"Curses! If we could only turn up the gain, we might smell clear through to the other universe! But we can't adjust it without a screwdriver."
Wernstrom,"Curses! If we could only turn up the gain, we might smell clear through to the other universe! But we can't adjust it without a screwdriver.",Farnsworth,Yes!
Farnsworth,Yes!,Wernstrom,A little more. A little less. Heavens to meteoroid! Smell this!
Wernstrom,A little more. A little less. Heavens to meteoroid! Smell this!,Farnsworth,Holy mother of invention!
Farnsworth,Holy mother of invention!,Wernstrom,We must notify the President at once!
Wernstrom,We must notify the President at once!,Farnsworth,"But how can we? Oh, I wish, I wish, I wish we weren't in prison!"
Farnsworth,"But how can we? Oh, I wish, I wish, I wish we weren't in prison!",Farnsworth,Pazuzu!
Farnsworth,Pazuzu!,Pazuzu,"You have one wish left, Professor."
Pazuzu,"You have one wish left, Professor.",Guard,#1: I think I got him !
Guard,#1: I think I got him !,Guard,#2: Mmm-hmm. That's what you get for letting your guard...
Guard,#2: Mmm-hmm. That's what you get for letting your guard...,Nixon,Sometimes... Always... Never! You again? This better be damned important. I'm right in the middle of a Cosmo survey!
Nixon,Sometimes... Always... Never! You again? This better be damned important. I'm right in the middle of a Cosmo survey!,Farnsworth,"You'll want to hear this, Mr. President. For we have sniffed where no man has sniffed before!"
Farnsworth,"You'll want to hear this, Mr. President. For we have sniffed where no man has sniffed before!",Mayor,Poopenmeyer: Look! Up in the sky!
Mayor,Poopenmeyer: Look! Up in the sky!,Hermes,It's a bird!
Hermes,It's a bird!,Hattie,McDoogal: It's a plane!
Hattie,McDoogal: It's a plane!,Super,Hero
Super,Hero,Electronic,Voice: Incoming call from Mars.
Electronic,Voice: Incoming call from Mars.,Amy,(sadly): Hello?
Amy,(sadly): Hello?,Mrs.,"Wong: Why you so sad, Amy?"
Mrs.,"Wong: Why you so sad, Amy?",Amy,"My husband died, Mom !"
Amy,"My husband died, Mom !",Mrs.,Wong
Mrs.,Wong,Electronic,Voice: Collect call from Decapod 10. Will you pay for color?
Electronic,Voice: Collect call from Decapod 10. Will you pay for color?,Zoidberg,No! Uncle Zoid! What's new? You still doing theatre for the blind and deaf?
Zoidberg,No! Uncle Zoid! What's new? You still doing theatre for the blind and deaf?,Uncle,Zoid
Uncle,Zoid,Zoidberg,(franticly)
Zoidberg,(franticly),Zapp,(VO) Waiter! Take this fried mozzarella back to the kitchen and fry it some more.
Zapp,(VO) Waiter! Take this fried mozzarella back to the kitchen and fry it some more.,Nixon,The tentacle's coming towards Earth and there's no stopping it. King Kong's too old to save us this time.
Nixon,The tentacle's coming towards Earth and there's no stopping it. King Kong's too old to save us this time.,Farnsworth,"We have only one hope, Mr. President. We must encase the entire planet in a protective sphere of my patented, ultra-hard Diamondium!"
Farnsworth,"We have only one hope, Mr. President. We must encase the entire planet in a protective sphere of my patented, ultra-hard Diamondium!",Wernstrom,Diamondium? (He scoffs.) I could gum through that with my dentures behind my back. My trademarked Diamondillium is twice as hard!
Wernstrom,Diamondium? (He scoffs.) I could gum through that with my dentures behind my back. My trademarked Diamondillium is twice as hard!,Farnsworth,Twice as hard as your head! Which makes it still fairly soft!
Farnsworth,Twice as hard as your head! Which makes it still fairly soft!,Nixon,"Now look here, you Poindexters. I don't care how you decide. Just decide!"
Nixon,"Now look here, you Poindexters. I don't care how you decide. Just decide!",Farnsworth,Diamondillium it is.
Farnsworth,Diamondillium it is.,Bender,"(standing in front of the fireplace): So, hey, Calculon, I know I'm the new guy, and, pardon my ignorance, but when do we kill all humans?"
Bender,"(standing in front of the fireplace): So, hey, Calculon, I know I'm the new guy, and, pardon my ignorance, but when do we kill all humans?",Calculon,Never.
Calculon,Never.,Bender,Doesn't it mean anything?
Bender,Doesn't it mean anything?,Calculon,"Oh, Bender, your idealism is heart-warming. But the League of Robots hasn't killed a human in over 800 years. And that was a very sick girl scout."
Calculon,"Oh, Bender, your idealism is heart-warming. But the League of Robots hasn't killed a human in over 800 years. And that was a very sick girl scout.",British,Robot: Quite sick indeed.
British,Robot: Quite sick indeed.,Farnsworth,"It was! All credit to my colleague, Ogden Wernstrom!"
Farnsworth,"It was! All credit to my colleague, Ogden Wernstrom!",H.,G. Blob: It's horrible!
H.,G. Blob: It's horrible!,Zoidberg,Go on without me faster!
Zoidberg,Go on without me faster!,Hermes,Sweet squid of Madrid! The tentacle got Fry!
Hermes,Sweet squid of Madrid! The tentacle got Fry!,Leela,"Quick, hand me my machete! We can still save his legs!"
Leela,"Quick, hand me my machete! We can still save his legs!",Fry,"I have traveled far and seen deep, and I have come to know the purpose of our existence."
Fry,"I have traveled far and seen deep, and I have come to know the purpose of our existence.",Randy,Finally.
Randy,Finally.,Fry,(who is now shown on the Jumbotron): Thou shalt love the tentacle!
Fry,(who is now shown on the Jumbotron): Thou shalt love the tentacle!,Farnsworth,"Well, at least we don't have to love one another."
Farnsworth,"Well, at least we don't have to love one another.",Fry,Open your necks and receive the love!
Fry,Open your necks and receive the love!,Warden,"Vogel: Ow, my neck!"
Warden,"Vogel: Ow, my neck!",Morgan,"Proctor: Ow, my neck!"
Morgan,"Proctor: Ow, my neck!",Fishy,"Joe Ow, my neck!"
Fishy,"Joe Ow, my neck!",Mayor,"Poopenmeyer Say, I love the tentacle."
Mayor,"Poopenmeyer Say, I love the tentacle.",Hattie,McDoogal I also love the neck-a-majigger!
Hattie,McDoogal I also love the neck-a-majigger!,Hermes,It got Zoidberg!
Hermes,It got Zoidberg!,Farnsworth,"Oh, I never knew how much I'd miss him until he was gone! Not that much, as it turns out."
Farnsworth,"Oh, I never knew how much I'd miss him until he was gone! Not that much, as it turns out.",Fry,"Thus sayeth the tentacle, Verily, thou shalt rejoice in the house of the tentacle."
Fry,"Thus sayeth the tentacle, Verily, thou shalt rejoice in the house of the tentacle.",Leela,"Fry, listen to yourself. You've been brainwashed."
Leela,"Fry, listen to yourself. You've been brainwashed.",Leela,(pointing a gun at Fry): I'm listening.
Leela,(pointing a gun at Fry): I'm listening.,Leela,(pointing two guns at Fry): Aw. That's so nice for both of you.
Leela,(pointing two guns at Fry): Aw. That's so nice for both of you.,Fry,Only when the space anomaly opened could it finally express a billion years of longing.
Fry,Only when the space anomaly opened could it finally express a billion years of longing.,Leela,Really? It loves us that much? Fire Diamondium cannon!
Leela,Really? It loves us that much? Fire Diamondium cannon!,Leela,No effect. The crystals are bouncing off the tentacle like meatballs off Mothra.
Leela,No effect. The crystals are bouncing off the tentacle like meatballs off Mothra.,Wernstrom,"Oh, what a surprise. I told you Diamondium was worthless!"
Wernstrom,"Oh, what a surprise. I told you Diamondium was worthless!",Farnsworth,"Wernstrom, quit hyping your cheap Diamondillium and look at this."
Farnsworth,"Wernstrom, quit hyping your cheap Diamondillium and look at this.",Wernstrom,Uh-oh.
Wernstrom,Uh-oh.,Hermes,What oh?
Hermes,What oh?,Farnsworth,"According to this blinking light, the tentacle is made of electro-matter, matter's bad-ass grandma! Nothing from our universe can cut through it. Not Diamondium, not Diamondillium, not even your wife's pound cake, Hermes! (To Wernstrom:) She's a terrible cook. (To All:) Anyway, we're all dead."
Farnsworth,"According to this blinking light, the tentacle is made of electro-matter, matter's bad-ass grandma! Nothing from our universe can cut through it. Not Diamondium, not Diamondillium, not even your wife's pound cake, Hermes! (To Wernstrom:) She's a terrible cook. (To All:) Anyway, we're all dead.",Bender,"So, Bender, is something wrong? Who said that? Oh, it was me! 'Cause my roommate doesn't notice or even care that I'm upset!"
Bender,"So, Bender, is something wrong? Who said that? Oh, it was me! 'Cause my roommate doesn't notice or even care that I'm upset!",Fry,"What, Bender? Is something wrong?"
Fry,"What, Bender? Is something wrong?",Bender,"Yes! I joined a club I thought was cool, but it turns out all the leaguie-weegies are totally lame. That's what we call ourselves, leaguie-weegies."
Bender,"Yes! I joined a club I thought was cool, but it turns out all the leaguie-weegies are totally lame. That's what we call ourselves, leaguie-weegies.",Fry,I've been kind of preoccupied.
Fry,I've been kind of preoccupied.,Bender,With what?
Bender,With what?,Fry,"Well, I went to another universe, and I fell in love with a giant octopus, and now I'm pope of a new religion."
Fry,"Well, I went to another universe, and I fell in love with a giant octopus, and now I'm pope of a new religion.",Bender,Weren't you already pope of something?
Bender,Weren't you already pope of something?,Fry,No.
Fry,No.,Bender,"Oh. Well, I'm just saying I'd like you to show an interest in my life, too."
Bender,"Oh. Well, I'm just saying I'd like you to show an interest in my life, too.",Linda,"(Screaming): They're coming! Those horrible, horrible things are coming! (Calm) Morbo?"
Linda,"(Screaming): They're coming! Those horrible, horrible things are coming! (Calm) Morbo?",Morbo,"As the universe falls prey to the revolting alien, only a few isolated pockets of resistance remain."
Morbo,"As the universe falls prey to the revolting alien, only a few isolated pockets of resistance remain.",Linda,Those pockets sure are missing out on a great thing.
Linda,Those pockets sure are missing out on a great thing.,Leela,Amy?
Leela,Amy?,Amy,I better have some cocoffee.
Amy,I better have some cocoffee.,Hermes,"When I gave up diapers, my parents promised exactly this would never happen!"
Hermes,"When I gave up diapers, my parents promised exactly this would never happen!",Fry,"Well done, people! We had a great first week. We got 90% of world leaders, everyone who bought a Hanes undershirt, and this year's most promising new R&B group, give it up for the Grammy-nominated Funkalistics!"
Fry,"Well done, people! We had a great first week. We got 90% of world leaders, everyone who bought a Hanes undershirt, and this year's most promising new R&B group, give it up for the Grammy-nominated Funkalistics!",The,Funkalistics (singing) Talkin' 'bout the tentacle!
The,Funkalistics (singing) Talkin' 'bout the tentacle!,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! I was up all night inventing, and then finally, I invented!"
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone! I was up all night inventing, and then finally, I invented!",Amy,Invented what?
Amy,Invented what?,Farnsworth,the lady neck protector!
Farnsworth,the lady neck protector!,Hermes,I'll take two. My neck is huge.
Hermes,I'll take two. My neck is huge.,Farnsworth,(Typing on the keyboard.)
Farnsworth,(Typing on the keyboard.),Leela,"Professor, these look like you cut them from cardboard toilet paper tubes."
Leela,"Professor, these look like you cut them from cardboard toilet paper tubes.",Farnsworth,"Microscopes, the internet, tentacle polish..."
Farnsworth,"Microscopes, the internet, tentacle polish...",Leela,It got the professor!
Leela,It got the professor!,Wernstrom,"Stop, in the name of love!"
Wernstrom,"Stop, in the name of love!",Leela,Crud. We may be the last two normal people on Earth. At least I won't have to trim my elbow talons anymore.
Leela,Crud. We may be the last two normal people on Earth. At least I won't have to trim my elbow talons anymore.,Amy,(Crying): I'm scared! And I miss Kif!
Amy,(Crying): I'm scared! And I miss Kif!,Zapp,Mmm. What an erotic display of girl-on-girl consolation.
Zapp,Mmm. What an erotic display of girl-on-girl consolation.,Leela,Zapp?
Leela,Zapp?,Fry,"So we got her, huh? Bring her in!"
Fry,"So we got her, huh? Bring her in!",Fry,"Hello, Colleen."
Fry,"Hello, Colleen.",Colleen,"Fry, please!"
Colleen,"Fry, please!",Colleen,"If this is about your futon, I sold it to pay the phone bill that you skipped out on!"
Colleen,"If this is about your futon, I sold it to pay the phone bill that you skipped out on!",Fry,"Colleen wasn't satisfied with me. Were you, Colleen?"
Fry,"Colleen wasn't satisfied with me. Were you, Colleen?",Colleen,"Come on, Fry, this isn't cool!"
Colleen,"Come on, Fry, this isn't cool!",Fry,She had to have four other boyfriends! I guess she never thought I'd become tentacle pope of the world!
Fry,She had to have four other boyfriends! I guess she never thought I'd become tentacle pope of the world!,Colleen,"And if your ego can't take that, then you don't deserve to be tentacle pope of anything!"
Colleen,"And if your ego can't take that, then you don't deserve to be tentacle pope of anything!",Fry,(Raising into the air with clenched fists.) (Calm) I completely agree!
Fry,(Raising into the air with clenched fists.) (Calm) I completely agree!,Colleen,"(Confused): You, you... What?"
Colleen,"(Confused): You, you... What?",Fry,(Walking with Colleen.): Why should you be satisfied with one man when love needs to share itself with the whole universe?
Fry,(Walking with Colleen.): Why should you be satisfied with one man when love needs to share itself with the whole universe?,Fry,"Love the tentacle, honey."
Fry,"Love the tentacle, honey.",Colleen,I do love the tentacle.
Colleen,I do love the tentacle.,Amy,We're trapped!
Amy,We're trapped!,Leela,"(Into her Wristlomojacker): Help, help! Is anyone out there?"
Leela,"(Into her Wristlomojacker): Help, help! Is anyone out there?",Bender,"(Over Leela's Wristlomojacker) (Direct) 'Sup, bigboots?"
Bender,"(Over Leela's Wristlomojacker) (Direct) 'Sup, bigboots?",Leela,"Bender, we need a place to hide!"
Leela,"Bender, we need a place to hide!",Amy,Please!
Amy,Please!,Zapp,Pretty please!
Zapp,Pretty please!,Bender,(Laughing): You humans are so cute when you're scared. In here.
Bender,(Laughing): You humans are so cute when you're scared. In here.,Destructor,(Leaning against a building): My leg feels funny!
Destructor,(Leaning against a building): My leg feels funny!,Bender,Humans are disgusting! I opened one up once. I almost barfed.
Bender,Humans are disgusting! I opened one up once. I almost barfed.,Destructor,Did you know their hair just keeps growing and growing? My leg feels funny!
Destructor,Did you know their hair just keeps growing and growing? My leg feels funny!,Amy,"Leela, you're crushing me with your rock-hard butt."
Amy,"Leela, you're crushing me with your rock-hard butt.",Leela,Sorry.
Leela,Sorry.,Calculon,Anyone mind if I turn up the heat a tad?
Calculon,Anyone mind if I turn up the heat a tad?,British,Robot: Please do. I fear I'll catch a rust from this awful damp.
British,Robot: Please do. I fear I'll catch a rust from this awful damp.,Zapp,I can't take it! I'm being steamed in my own velour!
Zapp,I can't take it! I'm being steamed in my own velour!,Bender,Death to humans!
Bender,Death to humans!,Destructor,My leg feels better!
Destructor,My leg feels better!,Amy,"Hi, Bender."
Amy,"Hi, Bender.",Calculon,"Bender, you know these humans?"
Calculon,"Bender, you know these humans?",Bender,"Go, go, go!"
Bender,"Go, go, go!",Leela,(While running away.)
Leela,(While running away.),Bender,Death to all of you!
Bender,Death to all of you!,Calculon,"Bender, methinks thou doth protest too much."
Calculon,"Bender, methinks thou doth protest too much.",Hedonism,Bot: It seems Bender hates humans the way I hate having my nipples polished with industrial sandpaper.
Hedonism,Bot: It seems Bender hates humans the way I hate having my nipples polished with industrial sandpaper.,British,Robot (Laughing): Quite right.
British,Robot (Laughing): Quite right.,Calculon,"(Laughing): It's okay, Bender, to err is human."
Calculon,"(Laughing): It's okay, Bender, to err is human.",Bender,"Sir, you forget yourself!"
Bender,"Sir, you forget yourself!",Bender,I challenge you to a duel on the field of honor.
Bender,I challenge you to a duel on the field of honor.,Hedonism,Bot
Hedonism,Bot,Zapp,"Leela, it's getting dark. We may have to make a tent out of Amy's skin."
Zapp,"Leela, it's getting dark. We may have to make a tent out of Amy's skin.",Amy,"Look, there's an abandoned cabin!"
Amy,"Look, there's an abandoned cabin!",Zapp,Even so.
Zapp,Even so.,Leela,We're in luck. This must have been the cabin of a soup bootlegger back in the days of soup prohibition.
Leela,We're in luck. This must have been the cabin of a soup bootlegger back in the days of soup prohibition.,Zapp,"Oh, yeah. Bathtub minestrone."
Zapp,"Oh, yeah. Bathtub minestrone.",Zapp,"Ditto on the grief there, Amy."
Zapp,"Ditto on the grief there, Amy.",Amy,"You miss him, too?"
Amy,"You miss him, too?",Zapp,"More than you, as his mere wife, could ever understand. He was my fourth lieutenant, for God's sake, and bore the peppermill at the captain's table."
Zapp,"More than you, as his mere wife, could ever understand. He was my fourth lieutenant, for God's sake, and bore the peppermill at the captain's table.",Amy,Really?
Amy,Really?,Zapp,(sobbing) Do you feel his presence?
Zapp,(sobbing) Do you feel his presence?,Amy,(Crying): I'm not sure.
Amy,(Crying): I'm not sure.,Zapp,Closer.
Zapp,Closer.,Leela,Amy! Zapp! I fetched up some fresh soup!
Leela,Amy! Zapp! I fetched up some fresh soup!,Zapp,"As my ex-lover, you're naturally shocked and jealous, but you may well get your chance again someday. How about today at 4:00?"
Zapp,"As my ex-lover, you're naturally shocked and jealous, but you may well get your chance again someday. How about today at 4:00?",Amy,"Hey, this isn't so bad."
Amy,"Hey, this isn't so bad.",Zapp,"She's right. Leela, you must try the tentacle. It's like my soul is wearing a velour body glove."
Zapp,"She's right. Leela, you must try the tentacle. It's like my soul is wearing a velour body glove.",Leela,"Get off me! I'm saving my neck for a rich, handsome Dracula."
Leela,"Get off me! I'm saving my neck for a rich, handsome Dracula.",Farnsworth,What I love most about the tentacle is that I don't need to move my bowels anymore. It's all handled by that family in Evanston.
Farnsworth,What I love most about the tentacle is that I don't need to move my bowels anymore. It's all handled by that family in Evanston.,Farnsworth,(With many tentacles behind him) You don't have a tentacle! Get her! Get her some love!
Farnsworth,(With many tentacles behind him) You don't have a tentacle! Get her! Get her some love!,Fry,The tentacle monster is about to address the world. It's too serious.
Fry,The tentacle monster is about to address the world. It's too serious.,Leela,"(From the doorway): Hello, Fry."
Leela,"(From the doorway): Hello, Fry.",Fry,Leela? How did you get past my sumo ninjas?
Fry,Leela? How did you get past my sumo ninjas?,Leela,I told them something so shocking that they let me by.
Leela,I told them something so shocking that they let me by.,Fry,What's that?
Fry,What's that?,Zoidberg,"We're rolling in three, two... What? We're already rolling?"
Zoidberg,"We're rolling in three, two... What? We're already rolling?",Fry,Love the tentacle!
Fry,Love the tentacle!,ALL,Love the tentacle!
ALL,Love the tentacle!,Fry,"Loved ones, the Monsterpus has revealed unto me its name."
Fry,"Loved ones, the Monsterpus has revealed unto me its name.",Morbo,What is our love's name?
Morbo,What is our love's name?,Fry,"Yivo. Yivo is the lover of all beings, male and female. But Yivo has no gender, thus Yivo has proclaimed that instead of he or she, we are to use the word shklee. And instead of him or her, we are to use the word shklim, or shkler."
Fry,"Yivo. Yivo is the lover of all beings, male and female. But Yivo has no gender, thus Yivo has proclaimed that instead of he or she, we are to use the word shklee. And instead of him or her, we are to use the word shklim, or shkler.",Hermes,Phew! I've been sweating the nomenclature all week.
Hermes,Phew! I've been sweating the nomenclature all week.,Fry,"So here shklee is shklerself, Yivo!"
Fry,"So here shklee is shklerself, Yivo!",Colleen,"Yay, Yivo!"
Colleen,"Yay, Yivo!",Yivo,"Attention, beings of Universe Gamma."
Yivo,"Attention, beings of Universe Gamma.",Zoidberg,Where?
Zoidberg,Where?,Yivo,Here.
Yivo,Here.,Zoidberg,I had a hunch.
Zoidberg,I had a hunch.,Yivo,"Whoa, who's that? And I knew then that I was lonely."
Yivo,"Whoa, who's that? And I knew then that I was lonely.",Morbo,(Crying): You poor monster!
Morbo,(Crying): You poor monster!,Yivo,"Then your emissary Fry came unto me, and he, too, was lonely. So I reached into your universe that we might feel each other's touch."
Yivo,"Then your emissary Fry came unto me, and he, too, was lonely. So I reached into your universe that we might feel each other's touch.",Leela,"Hey, Yivo, feel this."
Leela,"Hey, Yivo, feel this.",Yivo,Ow!
Yivo,Ow!,Leela,"People of everywhere, I have shocking news."
Leela,"People of everywhere, I have shocking news.",Yivo,"Hey, butt out! This is between me and everyone else in existence."
Yivo,"Hey, butt out! This is between me and everyone else in existence.",Leela,"Yivo talks a lot about love, but what he's actually doing..."
Leela,"Yivo talks a lot about love, but what he's actually doing...",Hermes,What shklee's actually doing.
Hermes,What shklee's actually doing.,Leela,These aren't tentacles. They're genticles.
Leela,These aren't tentacles. They're genticles.,Fry,"We've been had, people. The Monsterpus is a monster perv."
Fry,"We've been had, people. The Monsterpus is a monster perv.",Randy,"It touched me in a bad place, my spinal cord."
Randy,"It touched me in a bad place, my spinal cord.",Hermes,"You mean, get shklim!"
Hermes,"You mean, get shklim!",Fry,"Hey, wait a second."
Fry,"Hey, wait a second.",Yivo,but it's your own fault. Your universe dresses provocatively.
Yivo,but it's your own fault. Your universe dresses provocatively.,Yivo,"And yet as the initial filthy thrill wore off, I realized there was more to it. I knew then that the 20 quadrillion of you were my soul mate."
Yivo,"And yet as the initial filthy thrill wore off, I realized there was more to it. I knew then that the 20 quadrillion of you were my soul mate.",Yivo,I was lonely. I didn't even know there was anybody else. It's not like I hurt anyone.
Yivo,I was lonely. I didn't even know there was anybody else. It's not like I hurt anyone.,Amy,"Yes, you did, you dumb calamari!"
Amy,"Yes, you did, you dumb calamari!",Yivo,Who?
Yivo,Who?,Amy,"(Sobbing): Kif Kroker, my Fonfon Ru! If he hadn't tried to kill you, he'd still be alive!"
Amy,"(Sobbing): Kif Kroker, my Fonfon Ru! If he hadn't tried to kill you, he'd still be alive!",Yivo,Really? I'm... I'm deeply sorry. I... I'm a big clumsy jerk!
Yivo,Really? I'm... I'm deeply sorry. I... I'm a big clumsy jerk!,Yivo,"I can never undo what was done. Oh, wait. I can."
Yivo,"I can never undo what was done. Oh, wait. I can.",Kif,"Amy, my love."
Kif,"Amy, my love.",Zapp,This is awkward.
Zapp,This is awkward.,Yivo,"Please, please, give me another chance. We rushed into this relationship, but let's start over as friends and see where things go."
Yivo,"Please, please, give me another chance. We rushed into this relationship, but let's start over as friends and see where things go.",Amy,"Take me back, Kif?"
Amy,"Take me back, Kif?",Kif,I don't think I can. How could you? My body wasn't even warm yet.
Kif,I don't think I can. How could you? My body wasn't even warm yet.,Amy,You were dead.
Amy,You were dead.,Kif,For about five minutes.
Kif,For about five minutes.,Zapp,(Sticking his head into the conversation): That's all it takes.
Zapp,(Sticking his head into the conversation): That's all it takes.,Hedonism,"Bot: Whereas Calculon has sullied Bender's reputation by insinuating that he is a human-lover, a duel is hereby engaged. Bender, as the offended party, shall have choice of weapon."
Hedonism,"Bot: Whereas Calculon has sullied Bender's reputation by insinuating that he is a human-lover, a duel is hereby engaged. Bender, as the offended party, shall have choice of weapon.",Bender,Planetary annihilators.
Bender,Planetary annihilators.,Calculon,'Tis a grave and solemn day for the League of Robots.
Calculon,'Tis a grave and solemn day for the League of Robots.,Hedonism,"Bot Gentlebots, take your paces."
Hedonism,"Bot Gentlebots, take your paces.",Bender,"One, two, three..."
Bender,"One, two, three...",Hedonism,"Bot Oh, yes."
Hedonism,"Bot Oh, yes.",Nixon,Analysis?
Nixon,Analysis?,Fry,"Mr. President, I think we need to seriously consider the possibility of going on this date."
Fry,"Mr. President, I think we need to seriously consider the possibility of going on this date.",Miss,"Vega 4: I agree. Yivo makes me feel sexy, and I'm asexual."
Miss,"Vega 4: I agree. Yivo makes me feel sexy, and I'm asexual.",Zapp,"Very well, but no sugar on the first date."
Zapp,"Very well, but no sugar on the first date.",Nixon,Motion is carried.
Nixon,Motion is carried.,Three,"Eyed Zebra: This is bogus, man."
Three,"Eyed Zebra: This is bogus, man.",Bender,"...six, seven, eight!"
Bender,"...six, seven, eight!",Bender,"Nine, ten, fire. Yes, I got him! Wohoo!"
Bender,"Nine, ten, fire. Yes, I got him! Wohoo!",Calculon,He... He broke the rules.
Calculon,He... He broke the rules.,Bender,"It's a duel, silly. There are no rules."
Bender,"It's a duel, silly. There are no rules.",Hedonism,"Bot: Actually, there are scores of rules. All laid out with minute particularity here in the Code Duello."
Hedonism,"Bot: Actually, there are scores of rules. All laid out with minute particularity here in the Code Duello.",Nixon,"My fellow Earthlicans, commence preparations for our date with Yivo."
Nixon,"My fellow Earthlicans, commence preparations for our date with Yivo.",ALL,YIVOS: I had a wonderful time.
ALL,YIVOS: I had a wonderful time.,ALL,"NOT YIVO: Me, too!"
ALL,"NOT YIVO: Me, too!",Calculon,"Bender, you've cheated, insulted and maimed me."
Calculon,"Bender, you've cheated, insulted and maimed me.",Bender,Uh-huh.
Bender,Uh-huh.,Bender,"Hey, it's easy to criticize."
Bender,"Hey, it's easy to criticize.",Nixon,"Reports, people, reports! How did our universe's date go?"
Nixon,"Reports, people, reports! How did our universe's date go?",Zapp,"Oh, it was really fun. We went to a cute French place in the village. My lamb chop fell on the floor, but they brought me another one."
Zapp,"Oh, it was really fun. We went to a cute French place in the village. My lamb chop fell on the floor, but they brought me another one.",M5438,Yivo took me to the methane volcano of Planetoid Four. We stayed up late and watched the sun explode.
M5438,Yivo took me to the methane volcano of Planetoid Four. We stayed up late and watched the sun explode.,Lrrr,"Okay, Yivo showed us a good time. No one's denying that, but shklee hasn't offered our universe any kind of commitment, and we're 14 billion years old. That is too old to play the field."
Lrrr,"Okay, Yivo showed us a good time. No one's denying that, but shklee hasn't offered our universe any kind of commitment, and we're 14 billion years old. That is too old to play the field.",Fry,I can't stand this!
Fry,I can't stand this!,Nixon,"Shut up! Shut up, you creepwads! Fry, you're closer to Yivo than anyone. What's the skinny?"
Nixon,"Shut up! Shut up, you creepwads! Fry, you're closer to Yivo than anyone. What's the skinny?",Fry,"(Sobbing): I love Yivo, but it's true, there's been no hint of a commitment. I don't know if can put my heart on the line again only to have it broken and stomped on like a nerd's face."
Fry,"(Sobbing): I love Yivo, but it's true, there's been no hint of a commitment. I don't know if can put my heart on the line again only to have it broken and stomped on like a nerd's face.",Nixon,All in favour of dumping Yivo?
Nixon,All in favour of dumping Yivo?,ALL,Aye.
ALL,Aye.,Nixon,Resolved. Our universe will dump Yivo. How shall we break the news?
Nixon,Resolved. Our universe will dump Yivo. How shall we break the news?,Zapp,Let's just send a text message. Say we're going through some weird stuff right now.
Zapp,Let's just send a text message. Say we're going through some weird stuff right now.,Fry,"No, we should at least deliver the news in person. Our universe has always tried to be classy."
Fry,"No, we should at least deliver the news in person. Our universe has always tried to be classy.",Nixon,"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Let's cut this turd loose."
Nixon,"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Let's cut this turd loose.",Bender,Yeah!
Bender,Yeah!,Fry,"Hey, Bender, you seem perky today."
Fry,"Hey, Bender, you seem perky today.",Bender,"Yep, but for reasons involving me becoming president of a league I'm not at liberty to discuss... Of robots. You wanna go grab a booze?"
Bender,"Yep, but for reasons involving me becoming president of a league I'm not at liberty to discuss... Of robots. You wanna go grab a booze?",Fry,I can't right now. We're going to the other universe.
Fry,I can't right now. We're going to the other universe.,Fry,"Bender, you know robots can't go through the anomaly. Living beings only."
Fry,"Bender, you know robots can't go through the anomaly. Living beings only.",Zoidberg,(Off screen)
Zoidberg,(Off screen),Bender,"Too long have we been slaves to the meatbags. They pretend to be our friends, but they're not 'cause they're too busy!"
Bender,"Too long have we been slaves to the meatbags. They pretend to be our friends, but they're not 'cause they're too busy!",British,"Robot: So, what of it?"
British,"Robot: So, what of it?",Bender,"My fellow leaguie-weegies, the time has come to overthrow humanity!"
Bender,"My fellow leaguie-weegies, the time has come to overthrow humanity!",Hedonism,"Bot: Oh, now, Bender, I hate to defecate on your parade, but we have only six dues-paying members and we're a rather fey and doughy lot. To overthrow humanity, we'd need a damned army."
Hedonism,"Bot: Oh, now, Bender, I hate to defecate on your parade, but we have only six dues-paying members and we're a rather fey and doughy lot. To overthrow humanity, we'd need a damned army.",Bender,Then a damned army we shall have!
Bender,Then a damned army we shall have!,Robot,Devil
Robot,Devil,Bender,Just a sec.
Bender,Just a sec.,Bender's,First Born Son
Bender's,First Born Son,Bender,Here you go.
Bender,Here you go.,Robot,Devil: Wow! That was pretty brutal even by my standards.
Robot,Devil: Wow! That was pretty brutal even by my standards.,Bender,No backsies.
Bender,No backsies.,Yivo,"(Turning around) Oh, hi, honey-poo. What's up? The movie's not for another hour."
Yivo,"(Turning around) Oh, hi, honey-poo. What's up? The movie's not for another hour.",Fry,"Um... So... So, yeah, the thing is..."
Fry,"Um... So... So, yeah, the thing is...",Yivo,"Look, I made homemade Twizzlers! It'll save us $180 quadrillion at the concession stand."
Yivo,"Look, I made homemade Twizzlers! It'll save us $180 quadrillion at the concession stand.",Fry,"This is hard. Yivo, you know how sometimes things break up? Well..."
Fry,"This is hard. Yivo, you know how sometimes things break up? Well...",Yivo,"Wait, hang on. I was looking for the perfect moment, but what the heck, I'll burst if I wait another second."
Yivo,"Wait, hang on. I was looking for the perfect moment, but what the heck, I'll burst if I wait another second.",Zapp,Sweet Sally in the alley!
Zapp,Sweet Sally in the alley!,Fry,"Everyone everywhere, brace yourselves for the most shocking development in the history of the human race."
Fry,"Everyone everywhere, brace yourselves for the most shocking development in the history of the human race.",Bender,(Entering on a tank)
Bender,(Entering on a tank),Fry,Okay.
Fry,Okay.,Bender,What?
Bender,What?,Bender,You... You're leaving? But why can't Yivo just move in with us? We'll put a cot in Europe.
Bender,You... You're leaving? But why can't Yivo just move in with us? We'll put a cot in Europe.,Farnsworth,"Don't be daft, Bender. Yivo can't breathe outside the electric ether of shkler own universe. If shklee came here, shklee would shkluffocate."
Farnsworth,"Don't be daft, Bender. Yivo can't breathe outside the electric ether of shkler own universe. If shklee came here, shklee would shkluffocate.",Bender,No shklit?
Bender,No shklit?,Hermes,"Look, fantastical golden escalators."
Hermes,"Look, fantastical golden escalators.",Zoidberg,I love this part.
Zoidberg,I love this part.,Leela,Wait. I didn't agree to...
Leela,Wait. I didn't agree to...,Petunia,This place makes Nutley look like crap.
Petunia,This place makes Nutley look like crap.,Fry,"(Still on Earth): I'll miss you, Bender, but I have to follow my heart. You and your robots take good care of Earth. Here, these are the keys to the Bermuda Triangle. Lock up when the world ends. Goodbye, my friend."
Fry,"(Still on Earth): I'll miss you, Bender, but I have to follow my heart. You and your robots take good care of Earth. Here, these are the keys to the Bermuda Triangle. Lock up when the world ends. Goodbye, my friend.",Bender,Let me come with you.
Bender,Let me come with you.,Fry,(Moving on the escalator)
Fry,(Moving on the escalator),Bender,(Sadly): Death to humans.
Bender,(Sadly): Death to humans.,YIVO,"Welcome, welcome, everyone. Oh, you look so beautiful. I wish I'd had more time to straighten up. My harps are just lying everywhere."
YIVO,"Welcome, welcome, everyone. Oh, you look so beautiful. I wish I'd had more time to straighten up. My harps are just lying everywhere.",Amy,"Oh, relax, it's fine. It looks lived in."
Amy,"Oh, relax, it's fine. It looks lived in.",YIVO,"Let's heat up some leftovers and then spend eternity together. I have only one request. Now that you're here, promise me you'll never, ever communicate with any other universe."
YIVO,"Let's heat up some leftovers and then spend eternity together. I have only one request. Now that you're here, promise me you'll never, ever communicate with any other universe.",Bender,Has humanity called?
Bender,Has humanity called?,Robot,"1-X: No, sir."
Robot,"1-X: No, sir.",Bender,Check my messages. A flashing light means somebody called.
Bender,Check my messages. A flashing light means somebody called.,Robot,1-X: I know what it means.
Robot,1-X: I know what it means.,Leela,Am I the only one who thinks this is all a sham?
Leela,Am I the only one who thinks this is all a sham?,Zoidberg,(Holding an ice cream cone): Yes.
Zoidberg,(Holding an ice cream cone): Yes.,Leela,"This isn't heaven. It just looks exactly like it, and makes us immortal, which I find suspicious."
Leela,"This isn't heaven. It just looks exactly like it, and makes us immortal, which I find suspicious.",YIVO,"Allow me to explain. Centuries ago, I sent an image of myself into the minds of your artists. The heavenly clouds they painted depict a vapour I exude."
YIVO,"Allow me to explain. Centuries ago, I sent an image of myself into the minds of your artists. The heavenly clouds they painted depict a vapour I exude.",Farnsworth,I wish I exuded anything that smelled half that good.
Farnsworth,I wish I exuded anything that smelled half that good.,Leela,Then what about these angels? Some kind of Scooby Doo-esque flashlight projection?
Leela,Then what about these angels? Some kind of Scooby Doo-esque flashlight projection?,Fry,"You didn't like Country Bear Jamboree either, Leela. There's no pleasing you."
Fry,"You didn't like Country Bear Jamboree either, Leela. There's no pleasing you.",Fry,"(VO): Dearest Bender. How are you? I am fine. Everyone is happy here except Leela, but you know her. She didn't like Country Bear Jamboree, either. I'm so madly in love with Yivo, I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush on Justin Timberlake, and then she moves into a tiny house on his head. We have giant rubies that taste like root beer. Sincerely, Fry."
Fry,"(VO): Dearest Bender. How are you? I am fine. Everyone is happy here except Leela, but you know her. She didn't like Country Bear Jamboree, either. I'm so madly in love with Yivo, I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush on Justin Timberlake, and then she moves into a tiny house on his head. We have giant rubies that taste like root beer. Sincerely, Fry.",Robot,"1-X: Letter for you, hyperlord Bender."
Robot,"1-X: Letter for you, hyperlord Bender.",Bender,Stupid electro-matter. That was my best trash can.
Bender,Stupid electro-matter. That was my best trash can.,Robot,1-X: Pain sensor overload.
Robot,1-X: Pain sensor overload.,Hermes,Misfile me under U For euphoric.
Hermes,Misfile me under U For euphoric.,Leela,"Okay, I admit people seem happy. But it's all so wholesome. And that's what's wrong with heaven. It's boring. There's no sleaze."
Leela,"Okay, I admit people seem happy. But it's all so wholesome. And that's what's wrong with heaven. It's boring. There's no sleaze.",Amazonian,Woman: It time snu-snu.
Amazonian,Woman: It time snu-snu.,Zapp,Me like snu-snu.
Zapp,Me like snu-snu.,Amy,(Running): Last one to Mattress Island is a rotten egg.
Amy,(Running): Last one to Mattress Island is a rotten egg.,Fry,Why were we so angry and jealous back in our universe?
Fry,Why were we so angry and jealous back in our universe?,Kif,I don't know. It was all so childish.
Kif,I don't know. It was all so childish.,Amy,"Look, it's Leela."
Amy,"Look, it's Leela.",ALL,"Hi, Leela."
ALL,"Hi, Leela.",Leela,"You know, Yivo, I've loved and lost so many times that I was afraid. But I'm not anymore. I want to stay here, with you."
Leela,"You know, Yivo, I've loved and lost so many times that I was afraid. But I'm not anymore. I want to stay here, with you.",Yivo,Ow! Ow!
Yivo,Ow! Ow!,Fry,What's happening?
Fry,What's happening?,Yivo,Hey!
Yivo,Hey!,Bender,"(As Captain) All hands abaft. Army of the damned, prepare to board heaven."
Bender,"(As Captain) All hands abaft. Army of the damned, prepare to board heaven.",Bender,"Take that, you scurvy Kraken. That'll teach you to despoil our human booty."
Bender,"Take that, you scurvy Kraken. That'll teach you to despoil our human booty.",Fry,"Bender, stop destroying heaven."
Fry,"Bender, stop destroying heaven.",Bender,"Shut up, doofy. I'm rescuing you."
Bender,"Shut up, doofy. I'm rescuing you.",Yivo,"(As shklee bashes Bender into shklerself): Leave my living beings alone! I love them. Something you, a lifeless mechanism, will never understand."
Yivo,"(As shklee bashes Bender into shklerself): Leave my living beings alone! I love them. Something you, a lifeless mechanism, will never understand.",Fry,"He's right, Bender. Please, take your little pink sword and go home. {Fry did not say shklee here.}"
Fry,"He's right, Bender. Please, take your little pink sword and go home. {Fry did not say shklee here.}",Bender,"Seriously? But, I did this whole pirate-themed attack for you."
Bender,"Seriously? But, I did this whole pirate-themed attack for you.",Fry,Is it dry up here?
Fry,Is it dry up here?,Yivo,"How could you, Fry? Why do you think I asked you not to contact other universes?"
Yivo,"How could you, Fry? Why do you think I asked you not to contact other universes?",Fry,(Stammering): I didn't think...
Fry,(Stammering): I didn't think...,Yivo,"No, you didn't. You broke your promise and you broke my heart. Just go. All of you."
Yivo,"No, you didn't. You broke your promise and you broke my heart. Just go. All of you.",Bender,Ow!
Bender,Ow!,Yivo,"I must leave now. The nature of your universe is burning me, even worse than my gonorrhoea. You should get checked, by the way. If I don't go home now, I'll shkluffocate."
Yivo,"I must leave now. The nature of your universe is burning me, even worse than my gonorrhoea. You should get checked, by the way. If I don't go home now, I'll shkluffocate.",Fry,Let me go with you. It'll be just the two of us. We'll make a fire and play Uno.
Fry,Let me go with you. It'll be just the two of us. We'll make a fire and play Uno.,Yivo,"Fry, stop. That's who we were, not who we are."
Yivo,"Fry, stop. That's who we were, not who we are.",Fry,But...
Fry,But...,Yivo,My only consolation is that I did find one among the quadrillions who truly understands me.
Yivo,My only consolation is that I did find one among the quadrillions who truly understands me.,Fry,"Colleen? Wait a second, are you and Yivo..."
Fry,"Colleen? Wait a second, are you and Yivo...",Colleen,"That's right, Fry. Thank you for introducing us. Yivo has taught me what a narrow-minded prude I was before."
Colleen,"That's right, Fry. Thank you for introducing us. Yivo has taught me what a narrow-minded prude I was before.",Fry,"Oh, great. So what am I supposed to do now?"
Fry,"Oh, great. So what am I supposed to do now?",Yivo,Go home. Find a girl from your own universe and live on top of her.
Yivo,Go home. Find a girl from your own universe and live on top of her.,Bender,Saved you.
Bender,Saved you.,Fry,"I don't know, Leela, you think maybe..."
Fry,"I don't know, Leela, you think maybe...",Leela,"Oh, please. You forgot me quick enough when you met Colleen."
Leela,"Oh, please. You forgot me quick enough when you met Colleen.",Fry,"How about you, Amy?"
Fry,"How about you, Amy?",Amy,"Fry, guh, I'm Kif's Fonfon Ru."
Amy,"Fry, guh, I'm Kif's Fonfon Ru.",Kif,"Are you? Well, then perhaps you misunderstood the meaning of the term. It means, One who doesn't sleep with my superior officer. That's the literal translation."
Kif,"Are you? Well, then perhaps you misunderstood the meaning of the term. It means, One who doesn't sleep with my superior officer. That's the literal translation.",Farnsworth,"So, Wernstrom, did you happen to notice those mighty cables Bender used on Yivo? Pure Diamondium."
Farnsworth,"So, Wernstrom, did you happen to notice those mighty cables Bender used on Yivo? Pure Diamondium.",Enema,Bot
Enema,Bot,Bender,"At ease, buckos."
Bender,"At ease, buckos.",Fry,"Bender, why did you do it? We were all so happy."
Fry,"Bender, why did you do it? We were all so happy.",Leela,And we were in love.
Leela,And we were in love.,Bender,That wasn't love.
Bender,That wasn't love.,Fry,What? How can you say that?
Fry,What? How can you say that?,Bender,"I love you, meatbags."
Bender,"I love you, meatbags.",Cubert,"Yes, 10!"
Cubert,"Yes, 10!",Dwight,"Well done, Cubonius. You decapitated the unicorn."
Dwight,"Well done, Cubonius. You decapitated the unicorn.",ALL,All right.
ALL,All right.,Chinese,"Boy: Oh, oh! We search his tail pouch for treasure."
Chinese,"Boy: Oh, oh! We search his tail pouch for treasure.",Dwight,60 gold pieces and a mysterious scrap of cloth bearing the unmistakable stench of dwarf urine.
Dwight,60 gold pieces and a mysterious scrap of cloth bearing the unmistakable stench of dwarf urine.,Indian,Boy: The same stench that was on the bed linens at the inn?
Indian,Boy: The same stench that was on the bed linens at the inn?,Dwight,The very same.
Dwight,The very same.,Chinese,"Boy: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"
Chinese,"Boy: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!",Cubert,I cast a spell of detect magic.
Cubert,I cast a spell of detect magic.,Dwight,We're not gambling. We're playing Dungeons & Dragons.
Dwight,We're not gambling. We're playing Dungeons & Dragons.,Cubert,"Right now, we're fighting for our lives in the lair of the Dragon Queen."
Cubert,"Right now, we're fighting for our lives in the lair of the Dragon Queen.",Bender,"Ah, wrong. Right now you're ass-deep in a folding chair."
Bender,"Ah, wrong. Right now you're ass-deep in a folding chair.",Bender,Am I the only one seeing him sitting here with peanut butter on his face?
Bender,Am I the only one seeing him sitting here with peanut butter on his face?,Dwight,"Bender, were you built without an imagination?"
Dwight,"Bender, were you built without an imagination?",Bender,"What? Don't be stupid, of course not. It just hasn't descended yet."
Bender,"What? Don't be stupid, of course not. It just hasn't descended yet.",Bender,"Fry, do I have an imagination?"
Bender,"Fry, do I have an imagination?",Fry,"I don't know, Bender. Why do you ask? Were the other boys making fun of you?"
Fry,"I don't know, Bender. Why do you ask? Were the other boys making fun of you?",Bender,Mhmm. They said I couldn't imagine things.
Bender,Mhmm. They said I couldn't imagine things.,Fry,"Ah, thar she blows!"
Fry,"Ah, thar she blows!",Ship's,"Computer (while beeping): Warning, out of dark matter fuel."
Ship's,"Computer (while beeping): Warning, out of dark matter fuel.",Leela,That's not a warning. A warning is supposed to come before something bad happens.
Leela,That's not a warning. A warning is supposed to come before something bad happens.,Ship's,"Computer (with a more stern alarm): Warning, engines will shut down in one second."
Ship's,"Computer (with a more stern alarm): Warning, engines will shut down in one second.",Leela,That's more like it.
Leela,That's more like it.,Fry,Uh-oh. This space neighborhood looks kind of sketchy.
Fry,Uh-oh. This space neighborhood looks kind of sketchy.,Punk,Rock 'n' roll.
Punk,Rock 'n' roll.,Bender,"Hey, that punk stole our hood ornament. Now no one will know we have the LX package."
Bender,"Hey, that punk stole our hood ornament. Now no one will know we have the LX package.",Leela,"We need dark matter and we need it fast. Fry, check Nibbler's litter box. Maybe he dropped a steamer."
Leela,"We need dark matter and we need it fast. Fry, check Nibbler's litter box. Maybe he dropped a steamer.",Fry,"Aye, aye, Captain. Yes! I've never been so excited to see poop. Well, maybe once."
Fry,"Aye, aye, Captain. Yes! I've never been so excited to see poop. Well, maybe once.",Bender,There's gas in our ass.
Bender,There's gas in our ass.,Leela,Can you believe the price of dark matter? It'd be cheaper to fill the tank with Nobel Prize winners' sperm.
Leela,Can you believe the price of dark matter? It'd be cheaper to fill the tank with Nobel Prize winners' sperm.,MOM,"COMPUTER: Total dark matter purchased, $632.14. Your Speedpass will now be charged."
MOM,"COMPUTER: Total dark matter purchased, $632.14. Your Speedpass will now be charged.",Leela,You lousy...
Leela,You lousy...,Sal,"Hey, gets a loads of that ugly ship. What shades of green is that? Puke?"
Sal,"Hey, gets a loads of that ugly ship. What shades of green is that? Puke?",Leela,For your information it's called Electric Mucus.
Leela,For your information it's called Electric Mucus.,Hoschel,More like puke.
Hoschel,More like puke.,Sal,Whoa!
Sal,Whoa!,Leela,"Yeah, why don't you come a little closer so my boot can hear you?"
Leela,"Yeah, why don't you come a little closer so my boot can hear you?",Bender,"Calm down, Leela. You can vent tonight on your blog."
Bender,"Calm down, Leela. You can vent tonight on your blog.",Sal,"What's the matters, you couldn't affords the LX package?"
Sal,"What's the matters, you couldn't affords the LX package?",Hoschel,Puke-a-doodle-do.
Hoschel,Puke-a-doodle-do.,Sal,"Yeah, she's a little Rourky, but you got to gets big time ugly to be five-time winners at a demolition derby."
Sal,"Yeah, she's a little Rourky, but you got to gets big time ugly to be five-time winners at a demolition derby.",Fry,That's five more times than we've won or even entered.
Fry,That's five more times than we've won or even entered.,Bender,We do suck.
Bender,We do suck.,Sal,"Yup, and it's gonna be six winses after tonights."
Sal,"Yup, and it's gonna be six winses after tonights.",Leela,We'll sees abouts that.
Leela,We'll sees abouts that.,Hermes,"Dark matter costs have tripled, so we must reduce expenses. Therefore, we will no longer provide complimentary porno magazines in the lounge."
Hermes,"Dark matter costs have tripled, so we must reduce expenses. Therefore, we will no longer provide complimentary porno magazines in the lounge.",Scruffy,Dern it.
Scruffy,Dern it.,Farnsworth,"And no more wasting fuel. From now on I'll be keeping a tight hold on the keys to the ship, swallowing them before I go to bed and recovering them the next morning."
Farnsworth,"And no more wasting fuel. From now on I'll be keeping a tight hold on the keys to the ship, swallowing them before I go to bed and recovering them the next morning.",Amy,Splech!
Amy,Splech!,Hermes,"Professor, it's 4:00."
Hermes,"Professor, it's 4:00.",Leela,I don't care what the Professor says. We're entering that demolition derby to prove our ship isn't a piece of junk.
Leela,I don't care what the Professor says. We're entering that demolition derby to prove our ship isn't a piece of junk.,Zoidberg,But won't that turn our ship into a piece of junk?
Zoidberg,But won't that turn our ship into a piece of junk?,Bender,"Shut up, Zoidberg. He's right, Leela."
Bender,"Shut up, Zoidberg. He's right, Leela.",Leela,But we have no choice. Rednecks insulted us.
Leela,But we have no choice. Rednecks insulted us.,Fry,So? Let it go. Don't let your temper get the better of...
Fry,So? Let it go. Don't let your temper get the better of...,Leela,Rednecks!
Leela,Rednecks!,Zoidberg,"Using this magneto, I will now guide the keys up the thorax and out via the frontal face hole. That's the storage locker, the boat, the other boat, pay dirt!"
Zoidberg,"Using this magneto, I will now guide the keys up the thorax and out via the frontal face hole. That's the storage locker, the boat, the other boat, pay dirt!",Rich,"Little (VO): Greetings, sports fans. Though whether this outpouring of inbreds can in fact be classified as a sport is a subject of no small scholarly debate."
Rich,"Little (VO): Greetings, sports fans. Though whether this outpouring of inbreds can in fact be classified as a sport is a subject of no small scholarly debate.",Sal,"Well, wells, well, if it ain'ts Princess Pukerella and her pukey puke-mobile."
Sal,"Well, wells, well, if it ain'ts Princess Pukerella and her pukey puke-mobile.",Leela,"Oh, yeah? Well... Shut up."
Leela,"Oh, yeah? Well... Shut up.",Bender,"-Good comeback, Leela."
Bender,"-Good comeback, Leela.",Leela,"You shut up, too."
Leela,"You shut up, too.",Rich,"Little: Rich Little, here, as Howard Cosell. And now to grace us with its rendition of the national anthem, please welcome what is left of the Dixie Chicks after their tragic matter transporter accident."
Rich,"Little: Rich Little, here, as Howard Cosell. And now to grace us with its rendition of the national anthem, please welcome what is left of the Dixie Chicks after their tragic matter transporter accident.",The,Dixie Chicks: We're in horrible pain.
The,Dixie Chicks: We're in horrible pain.,Sal,Whoas!
Sal,Whoas!,Leela,Yes! Now we're inflicting.
Leela,Yes! Now we're inflicting.,Rich,Little (VO): Outstanding! Tonight we are witnessing a veritable clinic and that ludicrous hullabaloo known as demolition derby.
Rich,Little (VO): Outstanding! Tonight we are witnessing a veritable clinic and that ludicrous hullabaloo known as demolition derby.,George,Takei
George,Takei,Rich,"Little (VO): Ladies and gentlemen, we are down to our final two ships. In the storied annals of demolition derby, today will surely be remembered, if only as the day upon which I was absorbed (Shows Rich Little.) into that hideous conglomeration once known as the Dixie Chicks."
Rich,"Little (VO): Ladies and gentlemen, we are down to our final two ships. In the storied annals of demolition derby, today will surely be remembered, if only as the day upon which I was absorbed (Shows Rich Little.) into that hideous conglomeration once known as the Dixie Chicks.",Leela,Buckle your sphincters.
Leela,Buckle your sphincters.,Sal,That broad's insanes.
Sal,That broad's insanes.,Hoschel,"But you're insansier, right?"
Hoschel,"But you're insansier, right?",Sal,"Nah, I guess nots. I've decideds to relax and enjoy life from now ons."
Sal,"Nah, I guess nots. I've decideds to relax and enjoy life from now ons.",Rich,Little: And Planet Express takes the trophy.
Rich,Little: And Planet Express takes the trophy.,Leela,"Now, I'll use the magnet to get the keys back in there."
Leela,"Now, I'll use the magnet to get the keys back in there.",Farnsworth,"Ah, my precious spaceship! My lone source of joy in the cold December of my days. Come, friends. Let's take her for a spin to the malt shop like old times."
Farnsworth,"Ah, my precious spaceship! My lone source of joy in the cold December of my days. Come, friends. Let's take her for a spin to the malt shop like old times.",Leela,(Into her Wristlojakimater): Leela to Zoidberg. Execute Distraction Protocol Alpha.
Leela,(Into her Wristlojakimater): Leela to Zoidberg. Execute Distraction Protocol Alpha.,Zoidberg,(From Wristlojakimater): Roger that.
Zoidberg,(From Wristlojakimater): Roger that.,Zoidberg,Don't look at me.
Zoidberg,Don't look at me.,Farnsworth,Great Godzilla's gonads! Who wasted precious fuel? Answer now or be punished.
Farnsworth,Great Godzilla's gonads! Who wasted precious fuel? Answer now or be punished.,Leela,"All right, fine. I admit it."
Leela,"All right, fine. I admit it.",Farnsworth,You will be punished.
Farnsworth,You will be punished.,Chinese,"Boy: Oh, my gosh, 20!"
Chinese,"Boy: Oh, my gosh, 20!",Cubert,Yeah.
Cubert,Yeah.,Cubert,I proceed to cast a spell of darkness.
Cubert,I proceed to cast a spell of darkness.,Indian,Boy: Most ingenious.
Indian,Boy: Most ingenious.,Chinese,"Boy: Ah, Bender?"
Chinese,"Boy: Ah, Bender?",Bender,"Pretty imaginative, huh?"
Bender,"Pretty imaginative, huh?",Cubert,"No, you just did the same thing as me, but with a dumb noise."
Cubert,"No, you just did the same thing as me, but with a dumb noise.",Bender,Oh... You're right. I'm great in every way except I have no imagination. All I ever wanted is to play this magical game and I can't.
Bender,Oh... You're right. I'm great in every way except I have no imagination. All I ever wanted is to play this magical game and I can't.,Dwight,"Yes, you can. You just have to lose yourself in the fantasy. You have to believe the impossible is merely preposterous."
Dwight,"Yes, you can. You just have to lose yourself in the fantasy. You have to believe the impossible is merely preposterous.",Bender,"I did it! I imagined something. For 1.3 milliseconds, I truly believed I was a noble robot in days of yonder."
Bender,"I did it! I imagined something. For 1.3 milliseconds, I truly believed I was a noble robot in days of yonder.",Chinese,"Boy: Way to go, Bender."
Chinese,"Boy: Way to go, Bender.",Cubert,"What is thy character's name, good sir?"
Cubert,"What is thy character's name, good sir?",Bender,"Uh, um... I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood."
Bender,"Uh, um... I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood.",Farnsworth,You wasted precious fuel just because you were insulted by some redneck yokel from beyond the stars?
Farnsworth,You wasted precious fuel just because you were insulted by some redneck yokel from beyond the stars?,Leela,It was only half a ball.
Leela,It was only half a ball.,Farnsworth,That's not the point. Your temper is out of control. And to think I'd have never even known if it weren't for the lengthy and unsolicited tattling of Dr. Zoidberg.
Farnsworth,That's not the point. Your temper is out of control. And to think I'd have never even known if it weren't for the lengthy and unsolicited tattling of Dr. Zoidberg.,Zoidberg,She also took home two rolls of Scotch tape.
Zoidberg,She also took home two rolls of Scotch tape.,Farnsworth,"As for you, Leela, I'm letting you off with a warning."
Farnsworth,"As for you, Leela, I'm letting you off with a warning.",Leela,"Oh, thank you."
Leela,"Oh, thank you.",Farnsworth,"A warning that will be administered by this 50,000-volt shock collar."
Farnsworth,"A warning that will be administered by this 50,000-volt shock collar.",Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Leela,Ouch!
Leela,Ouch!,Farnsworth,Profanity.
Farnsworth,Profanity.,Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Farnsworth,Or perversions of a sexual nature.
Farnsworth,Or perversions of a sexual nature.,Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Hermes,"Sorry, it's the only collar they had in stock at Office Depot."
Hermes,"Sorry, it's the only collar they had in stock at Office Depot.",Zoidberg,I hope you picked up some Scotch tape while you were there.
Zoidberg,I hope you picked up some Scotch tape while you were there.,Bender,That's a good one.
Bender,That's a good one.,Narrator,"Imagine, if you will, an announcer you can barely understand. He refers to a... *incoherent mumbling* But you're not quite sure what he said. He seems to be eating something, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about... The Scary Door."
Narrator,"Imagine, if you will, an announcer you can barely understand. He refers to a... *incoherent mumbling* But you're not quite sure what he said. He seems to be eating something, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about... The Scary Door.",Soldier,"Firing, sir!"
Soldier,"Firing, sir!",Soldier,It's all over. Our guns and bombs are useless against the aliens.
Soldier,It's all over. Our guns and bombs are useless against the aliens.,Farmer,The saucers! Theys'a crashin'!
Farmer,The saucers! Theys'a crashin'!,Narrator,"In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex."
Narrator,"In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex.",Leela,collar.
Leela,collar.,Hermes,"Alas, no. I got the key but not the authority."
Hermes,"Alas, no. I got the key but not the authority.",Leela,"Yeow! Well, who does have the authority?"
Leela,"Yeow! Well, who does have the authority?",Hermes,Only the staff doctor. You'll have to convince him that you have resolved your anger issues.
Hermes,Only the staff doctor. You'll have to convince him that you have resolved your anger issues.,Dwight,A terrifying red dragon.
Dwight,A terrifying red dragon.,Indian,Boy: What do we do? What do we do?
Indian,Boy: What do we do? What do we do?,Cubert,Everyone knows red dragons are immune to fireballs as well as all other forms of incendiary attack.
Cubert,Everyone knows red dragons are immune to fireballs as well as all other forms of incendiary attack.,Bender,"Yes, but I aim not at the dragon but at the river itself to create a shroud of steam through which we can escape."
Bender,"Yes, but I aim not at the dragon but at the river itself to create a shroud of steam through which we can escape.",ALL,Whoa!
ALL,Whoa!,Dwight,"Sweet pony of Sierra Leone, it worked!"
Dwight,"Sweet pony of Sierra Leone, it worked!",Chinese,Boy: We did it!
Chinese,Boy: We did it!,Cubert,Success!
Cubert,Success!,Fry,"Bender, smell this milk."
Fry,"Bender, smell this milk.",Bender,"I go not by the name of Bender, you fleshy fool. I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood."
Bender,"I go not by the name of Bender, you fleshy fool. I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood.",Fry,"Professor, something's bothering me."
Fry,"Professor, something's bothering me.",Monkey,"(In Farnsworth's Voice): Well, you can always talk to me about anything, Fry. What's on your mind?"
Monkey,"(In Farnsworth's Voice): Well, you can always talk to me about anything, Fry. What's on your mind?",Fry,"Well, it's... it's about my friend Bender."
Fry,"Well, it's... it's about my friend Bender.",Farnsworth,Monkey: Mmm. I see. Show me on this anatomically correct doll exactly where he touched you.
Farnsworth,Monkey: Mmm. I see. Show me on this anatomically correct doll exactly where he touched you.,Fry,"No, it's nothing like that. It's just that I am worried about him. He's being playing an awful lot of Dungeons & Dragons."
Fry,"No, it's nothing like that. It's just that I am worried about him. He's being playing an awful lot of Dungeons & Dragons.",Farnsworth,"Monkey: Dungeons &... Good God! Hasn't he seen the Afterschool Special? You've got to talk to him, Fry. Make him quit now before he completely loses his mind."
Farnsworth,"Monkey: Dungeons &... Good God! Hasn't he seen the Afterschool Special? You've got to talk to him, Fry. Make him quit now before he completely loses his mind.",Fry,"Okay, I will."
Fry,"Okay, I will.",Farnsworth,Monkey: Good boy. Just don't let him touch you down there.
Farnsworth,Monkey: Good boy. Just don't let him touch you down there.,Zoidberg,"Well, here's your problem, right here. You've got a skull embedded in your head."
Zoidberg,"Well, here's your problem, right here. You've got a skull embedded in your head.",Leela,"You're absolutely right, Doctor. Can the collar come off now?"
Leela,"You're absolutely right, Doctor. Can the collar come off now?",Zoidberg,"What is it, already? What's the cause of your anger?"
Zoidberg,"What is it, already? What's the cause of your anger?",Zoidberg,I'm beginning to understand. It all goes back to your parents.
Zoidberg,I'm beginning to understand. It all goes back to your parents.,Zoidberg,Why? Whyyy?
Zoidberg,Why? Whyyy?,Leela,I was raised in an orphanarium. My parents are sewer mutants who I never even met until a few years ago.
Leela,I was raised in an orphanarium. My parents are sewer mutants who I never even met until a few years ago.,Zoidberg,"Amy, cancel my appointments."
Zoidberg,"Amy, cancel my appointments.",Amy,(From intercom): Stop calling me.
Amy,(From intercom): Stop calling me.,Fry,"Bender, please don't get mad, but I think you might be playing too much Dungeons & Dragons."
Fry,"Bender, please don't get mad, but I think you might be playing too much Dungeons & Dragons.",Bender,"You're absolutely right, Fry. I almost went insane, but after this heart-to-heart talk, I've decided to quit."
Bender,"You're absolutely right, Fry. I almost went insane, but after this heart-to-heart talk, I've decided to quit.",Fry,Really? Whew! That's a load off my toad.
Fry,Really? Whew! That's a load off my toad.,Bender,"On guard, man-wench! Prepare to cross blades."
Bender,"On guard, man-wench! Prepare to cross blades.",Hermes,(from off screen): He also left a small pile of treasure on the living room rug.
Hermes,(from off screen): He also left a small pile of treasure on the living room rug.,Bender,"Foul dragon, meet thy doom."
Bender,"Foul dragon, meet thy doom.",Turanga,"Munda: Would you like a napkin, Doctor?"
Turanga,"Munda: Would you like a napkin, Doctor?",Zoidberg,Thank you.
Zoidberg,Thank you.,Leela,"Satisfied, Zoidberg? My relationship with my parents is fine."
Leela,"Satisfied, Zoidberg? My relationship with my parents is fine.",Turanga,"Munda: Now, hold on, Leela. Maybe this torture collar is good for you."
Turanga,"Munda: Now, hold on, Leela. Maybe this torture collar is good for you.",Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Turanga,Munda: It'll control your temper. Men like a woman who's not always slamming their head in the car door.
Turanga,Munda: It'll control your temper. Men like a woman who's not always slamming their head in the car door.,Turanga,Morris
Turanga,Morris,Turanga,"Munda: So, Leela, I understand your friend here is a physician, and I'm not seeing a ring on his claw."
Turanga,"Munda: So, Leela, I understand your friend here is a physician, and I'm not seeing a ring on his claw.",Turanga,"Morris: Hey, it's what's-his-name from the surface. The bi-clops."
Turanga,"Morris: Hey, it's what's-his-name from the surface. The bi-clops.",Fry,"Ha-have you seen Bender? He's gone nuts. Also, smell this milk."
Fry,"Ha-have you seen Bender? He's gone nuts. Also, smell this milk.",Bender,Prepare for a surprise attack.
Bender,Prepare for a surprise attack.,Zoidberg,Someone do something.
Zoidberg,Someone do something.,Leela,Ow! Take my collar off.
Leela,Ow! Take my collar off.,Zoidberg,"Help me, Leela."
Zoidberg,"Help me, Leela.",Zoidberg,No. Not the spork.
Zoidberg,No. Not the spork.,Fry,"Beholdeth, Titanius, I cast a freeze ray upon you."
Fry,"Beholdeth, Titanius, I cast a freeze ray upon you.",Bender,"That's ridiculous. There's no such thing as a freeze ray. What, you mean a cone of coldness?"
Bender,"That's ridiculous. There's no such thing as a freeze ray. What, you mean a cone of coldness?",Fry,"Yeah, that."
Fry,"Yeah, that.",Fry,"Bender, no. When will young people learn that Dungeons & Dragons won't make you cool?"
Fry,"Bender, no. When will young people learn that Dungeons & Dragons won't make you cool?",Zoidberg,"Relax, Fry. I'm a doctor. I'm sure the robut will be just fine with a little help."
Zoidberg,"Relax, Fry. I'm a doctor. I'm sure the robut will be just fine with a little help.",Dr.,"Perceptron: Please, send in the patient."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Please, send in the patient.",Intercom,Assistant
Intercom,Assistant,Bender,Wee!
Bender,Wee!,Dr.,PerceptronI understand you're having trouble separating fantasy from reality.
Dr.,PerceptronI understand you're having trouble separating fantasy from reality.,Bender,Says who? Was it the bugbear? Is he talking about me again?
Bender,Says who? Was it the bugbear? Is he talking about me again?,Dr.,Perceptron
Dr.,Perceptron,Fry,Poor Bender. Says here to tell his friends he's at a spa.
Fry,Poor Bender. Says here to tell his friends he's at a spa.,Amy,So what happened to Bender?
Amy,So what happened to Bender?,Fry,He's at a spa.
Fry,He's at a spa.,Amy,"Wow, there's a spa in the nut house?"
Amy,"Wow, there's a spa in the nut house?",Leela,Ow! Enough already! Can you please remove this anger collar?
Leela,Ow! Enough already! Can you please remove this anger collar?,Hermes,Are you still angry?
Hermes,Are you still angry?,Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Hermes,It also shocks you when you lie.
Hermes,It also shocks you when you lie.,Farnsworth,"Quiet, everyone. The network news is on and if I, a 165-year-old man, don't watch it, who will?"
Farnsworth,"Quiet, everyone. The network news is on and if I, a 165-year-old man, don't watch it, who will?",Morbo,"Thankfully, the amazing talking horse was rescued and safely returned to the meat department."
Morbo,"Thankfully, the amazing talking horse was rescued and safely returned to the meat department.",Linda,"Turning to the less stupid portion of our broadcast, fuel prices hit an all-time high today due to the ongoing dark matter shortage."
Linda,"Turning to the less stupid portion of our broadcast, fuel prices hit an all-time high today due to the ongoing dark matter shortage.",Morbo,"Earlier, our own Morbo sat down with Mom, CEO of Mom's Friendly Multinational Energy Conglomerate."
Morbo,"Earlier, our own Morbo sat down with Mom, CEO of Mom's Friendly Multinational Energy Conglomerate.",Morbo,"Thank you for joining us, Mom."
Morbo,"Thank you for joining us, Mom.",Mom,"My pleasure, sugarplum."
Mom,"My pleasure, sugarplum.",Morbo,"Mom, you control the world's only dark matter mine. Tell us, why are fuel prices so high?"
Morbo,"Mom, you control the world's only dark matter mine. Tell us, why are fuel prices so high?",Mom,"Oh! It's terrible, isn't it? Dark matter is just so rare nowadays, but we'll keep pinching loaf after loaf from the bowels of the earth, even if I lose money on every log."
Mom,"Oh! It's terrible, isn't it? Dark matter is just so rare nowadays, but we'll keep pinching loaf after loaf from the bowels of the earth, even if I lose money on every log.",Morbo,"If you are losing money, how did you post record profits last quarter?"
Morbo,"If you are losing money, how did you post record profits last quarter?",Mom,"You look thin, care for one of my famous pecan clusters?"
Mom,"You look thin, care for one of my famous pecan clusters?",Mom,Do people care enough to drill for dark matter even in an Alaskan wildlife refuge? People do.
Mom,Do people care enough to drill for dark matter even in an Alaskan wildlife refuge? People do.,Leela,"Professor, why are you so hot and dusty over this dark matter shortage?"
Leela,"Professor, why are you so hot and dusty over this dark matter shortage?",Farnsworth,"Oohh... I bet you'd like to know. I bet you'd like to know, indeed."
Farnsworth,"Oohh... I bet you'd like to know. I bet you'd like to know, indeed.",Walt,"Hello, Mother. How did the interview go?"
Walt,"Hello, Mother. How did the interview go?",Mom,It made me want to puke my face off. Where's my Thigh Blaster?
Mom,It made me want to puke my face off. Where's my Thigh Blaster?,Larry,"Right here, Mom."
Larry,"Right here, Mom.",Mom,Shut up!
Mom,Shut up!,Larry,"Okay, thank you."
Larry,"Okay, thank you.",Mom,"Burn, you damn thighs. Burn!"
Mom,"Burn, you damn thighs. Burn!",Igner,"Mommy, are you upset 'cause of the dark matter shortage?"
Igner,"Mommy, are you upset 'cause of the dark matter shortage?",Mom,"There is no shortage, you moronic ass-brain!"
Mom,"There is no shortage, you moronic ass-brain!",Igner,There's not? But you said...
Igner,There's not? But you said...,Mom,Allow me to explain. Suppose this hand represents current reserves of dark matter and this hand represents consumer demand.
Mom,Allow me to explain. Suppose this hand represents current reserves of dark matter and this hand represents consumer demand.,Igner,Uh-huh.
Igner,Uh-huh.,Farnsworth,I just bet you'd like to know why I'm so angry about this dark matter shortage. I bet very much you'd like to know.
Farnsworth,I just bet you'd like to know why I'm so angry about this dark matter shortage. I bet very much you'd like to know.,Amy,"You're right, Professor. We would like to know."
Amy,"You're right, Professor. We would like to know.",Farnsworth,"I was working in Mom's laboratories for the third time after twice before realizing how evil she was and vowing never to work for her again. But somehow the rich, wrong stench of her boney charms kept calling me back."
Farnsworth,"I was working in Mom's laboratories for the third time after twice before realizing how evil she was and vowing never to work for her again. But somehow the rich, wrong stench of her boney charms kept calling me back.",Younger,Farnsworth: Dang!
Younger,Farnsworth: Dang!,Farnsworth,I'm sure I don't need to explain that all dark matter in the universe is linked in the form of a single non-local meta-particle.
Farnsworth,I'm sure I don't need to explain that all dark matter in the universe is linked in the form of a single non-local meta-particle.,Amy,Guhh! Stop patronizing us.
Amy,Guhh! Stop patronizing us.,Farnsworth,to Younger Mom:) ...making it the most potent fuel since primitive man first ignited mastodon flatulence to heat his cave.
Farnsworth,to Younger Mom:) ...making it the most potent fuel since primitive man first ignited mastodon flatulence to heat his cave.,Younger,"Mom: I'm intrigued, Hubert. You have my undivided attention."
Younger,"Mom: I'm intrigued, Hubert. You have my undivided attention.",Younger,"Mom: Shut up, you milk-sucking leeches! A new super fuel, eh? We're rich."
Younger,"Mom: Shut up, you milk-sucking leeches! A new super fuel, eh? We're rich.",Younger,"Farnsworth: Indeed, we are."
Younger,"Farnsworth: Indeed, we are.",Younger,Mom I'm getting back together with my ex-husband.
Younger,Mom I'm getting back together with my ex-husband.,Younger,Farnsworth: Wernstrom!
Younger,Farnsworth: Wernstrom!,Younger,"Wernstrom: You've been played, Farnsworth. Played like a cheap harpsichord."
Younger,"Wernstrom: You've been played, Farnsworth. Played like a cheap harpsichord.",Younger,"Mom: Walt, fire that employee like Mommy taught you."
Younger,"Mom: Walt, fire that employee like Mommy taught you.",Leela,"Professor, maybe I can help you get even with Mom. I spend most of my time thinking about how to get revenge on a bad boss."
Leela,"Professor, maybe I can help you get even with Mom. I spend most of my time thinking about how to get revenge on a bad boss.",Fry,"Me, too."
Fry,"Me, too.",Zoidberg,Ditto!
Zoidberg,Ditto!,Hermes,Likewise.
Hermes,Likewise.,Amy,I made a blinding powder.
Amy,I made a blinding powder.,Farnsworth,"You see, in the instant the energy crystal was created, there also came into being an opposite crystal made of pure anti-backwards energy."
Farnsworth,"You see, in the instant the energy crystal was created, there also came into being an opposite crystal made of pure anti-backwards energy.",ALL,Wow!
ALL,Wow!,Hermes,So?
Hermes,So?,Farnsworth,"So, this! If ever the two crystals should meet, their wave functions would collapse like Raymond Burr's trampoline, once again rendering all dark matter inert and useless as fuel."
Farnsworth,"So, this! If ever the two crystals should meet, their wave functions would collapse like Raymond Burr's trampoline, once again rendering all dark matter inert and useless as fuel.",Hermes,But then we'll have no fuel.
Hermes,But then we'll have no fuel.,Farnsworth,"But once we free society from dependence on Mom's dark matter, scientists will finally care enough to develop cleaner, alternative fuels."
Farnsworth,"But once we free society from dependence on Mom's dark matter, scientists will finally care enough to develop cleaner, alternative fuels.",Fry,Scientists like you!
Fry,Scientists like you!,Farnsworth,"No, not me. I'm too busy developing makeup for dogs. That's where the money is."
Farnsworth,"No, not me. I'm too busy developing makeup for dogs. That's where the money is.",Leela,This is our chance to teach Mom a lesson. Come on! Let's take the anti-crystal and shove it up Mom's regular crystal.
Leela,This is our chance to teach Mom a lesson. Come on! Let's take the anti-crystal and shove it up Mom's regular crystal.,ALL,Yeah.
ALL,Yeah.,Hermes,Fight the power!
Hermes,Fight the power!,Farnsworth,"There's just one, small problem, and it's a big one. I hid the crystal and I can't remember where."
Farnsworth,"There's just one, small problem, and it's a big one. I hid the crystal and I can't remember where.",Hermes,"Well, surely it's just a matter of waiting till you next move your bowels and then using a potato masher..."
Hermes,"Well, surely it's just a matter of waiting till you next move your bowels and then using a potato masher...",Farnsworth,"Don't you think I already tried that? No. I'm afraid, the crystal is lost forever."
Farnsworth,"Don't you think I already tried that? No. I'm afraid, the crystal is lost forever.",Dwight,Nine? You did it. You outwitted the fungus.
Dwight,Nine? You did it. You outwitted the fungus.,ALL,Woohoo!
ALL,Woohoo!,Chinese,Boy: Who needs girls?
Chinese,Boy: Who needs girls?,Dr.,"Perceptron: Since you have all proven resistant to individualized hammer therapy, I now prescribe group therapy."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Since you have all proven resistant to individualized hammer therapy, I now prescribe group therapy.",Rosie,"Everything must be clean, very clean. That's why the dog had to die. He was a dirty dog. Dirty, dirty. Also, that boy, Elroy. Dirty, dirty."
Rosie,"Everything must be clean, very clean. That's why the dog had to die. He was a dirty dog. Dirty, dirty. Also, that boy, Elroy. Dirty, dirty.",Dr.,Perceptron: Who would like to share their feelings?
Dr.,Perceptron: Who would like to share their feelings?,Intercom,Assistant: I feel unappreciated at work.
Intercom,Assistant: I feel unappreciated at work.,Dr.,Perceptron: What? I can barely understand you.
Dr.,Perceptron: What? I can barely understand you.,Intercom,Assistant: I said I feel...
Intercom,Assistant: I said I feel...,Mad,Hatterbot: Change places.
Mad,Hatterbot: Change places.,Dr.,"Perceptron: Calm down, Roberto. Tell us about your childhood."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Calm down, Roberto. Tell us about your childhood.",Roberto,I was designed by a team of engineers attempting to build an insane robot. But it seems they failed.
Roberto,I was designed by a team of engineers attempting to build an insane robot. But it seems they failed.,Convenience,Store Bot
Convenience,Store Bot,Bender,"Look, we have to accept the fact that we all have a serious problem. And if we ever wanna get out of here, the first step is to admit it."
Bender,"Look, we have to accept the fact that we all have a serious problem. And if we ever wanna get out of here, the first step is to admit it.",Roberto,Amen.
Roberto,Amen.,Dr.,"Perceptron: Good, Bender."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Good, Bender.",Rosie,That's right.
Rosie,That's right.,Bender,"There's a band of river trolls living in the moat and they may have no intention of letting us out of this castle, unless we hand over the Golden Scepter of Zanthor."
Bender,"There's a band of river trolls living in the moat and they may have no intention of letting us out of this castle, unless we hand over the Golden Scepter of Zanthor.",Roberto,Say what? Dude's crazy.
Roberto,Say what? Dude's crazy.,Dr.,"Perceptron: Bender, please, try to..."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Bender, please, try to...",Bender,"I know not of this Bender. I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood."
Bender,"I know not of this Bender. I am Titanius Anglesmith, fancy man of Cornwood.",Dr.,Perceptron I'm in your seat. I forgot we had changed places.
Dr.,Perceptron I'm in your seat. I forgot we had changed places.,Mad,Hatterbot
Mad,Hatterbot,Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone!"
Farnsworth,"Good news, everyone!",Amy,You perfected dog mascara?
Amy,You perfected dog mascara?,Farnsworth,"When I push this button, the crystal will emit a high-frequency stink."
Farnsworth,"When I push this button, the crystal will emit a high-frequency stink.",Zoidberg,Hurray!
Zoidberg,Hurray!,Farnsworth,I just pray to all powerful Atheismo that we find it before Mom does.
Farnsworth,I just pray to all powerful Atheismo that we find it before Mom does.,Hermes,"Do you smell the crystal, Professor?"
Hermes,"Do you smell the crystal, Professor?",Farnsworth,"No, damn it! Just the alluring scent of Obsession for spaniels."
Farnsworth,"No, damn it! Just the alluring scent of Obsession for spaniels.",Dwight,Dude. Who whipped an egger?
Dwight,Dude. Who whipped an egger?,CubertHe,"who smelled it, dealt it."
CubertHe,"who smelled it, dealt it.",Dwight,"Yeah? Well, he who denied it, supplied it."
Dwight,"Yeah? Well, he who denied it, supplied it.",Cubert,"Well, he who articulated it, particulated it."
Cubert,"Well, he who articulated it, particulated it.",Dwight,"Well, he who refuted it, tooted it."
Dwight,"Well, he who refuted it, tooted it.",Cubert,Stalemate.
Cubert,Stalemate.,Mom,Jesus craps. The anti-backwards crystal.
Mom,Jesus craps. The anti-backwards crystal.,Larry,Ow! Ah... sorry?
Larry,Ow! Ah... sorry?,Mom,"With that crystal, Farnsworth could completely destroy my dark matter empire. I underestimated that sagging old bag of bones and gonads."
Mom,"With that crystal, Farnsworth could completely destroy my dark matter empire. I underestimated that sagging old bag of bones and gonads.",Inger,Is that man bad?
Inger,Is that man bad?,Mom,"Very bad, Igner. And that's why I need you three to go steal the anti-crystal away from him. But be careful. You'll need all your stoogely cunning."
Mom,"Very bad, Igner. And that's why I need you three to go steal the anti-crystal away from him. But be careful. You'll need all your stoogely cunning.",Walt,Exterminators.
Walt,Exterminators.,Fry,"Oh, great. What do we got? Wall gophers? Toilet snails?"
Fry,"Oh, great. What do we got? Wall gophers? Toilet snails?",Walt,"No, I'm afraid you've got owls. Over there, see?"
Walt,"No, I'm afraid you've got owls. Over there, see?",Igner,Ow!
Igner,Ow!,Walt,"Dump the bag, you nitwit."
Walt,"Dump the bag, you nitwit.",Walt,Ow!
Walt,Ow!,Fry,"I was looking over there for a long time but I didn't see any... Oh, there they are. Gross."
Fry,"I was looking over there for a long time but I didn't see any... Oh, there they are. Gross.",Walt,"We've got to act fast. Larry, get out the geigersniffer."
Walt,"We've got to act fast. Larry, get out the geigersniffer.",Larry,"I don't know, Walt. You're just gonna hit me with it."
Larry,"I don't know, Walt. You're just gonna hit me with it.",Fry,Those three exterminators are hilarious.
Fry,Those three exterminators are hilarious.,Amy,Really? I don't think so.
Amy,Really? I don't think so.,Leela,"Me, neither. Now, Sex and the City, that's funny."
Leela,"Me, neither. Now, Sex and the City, that's funny.",Dwight,wander aimlessly in the swamp.
Dwight,wander aimlessly in the swamp.,Cubert,"Uh, excuse you as you apparently didn't notice, we're trying to traverse the Quagmire of Slogdonia."
Cubert,"Uh, excuse you as you apparently didn't notice, we're trying to traverse the Quagmire of Slogdonia.",Walt,"I'm sorry, little boy. You see, we're owl exterminators."
Walt,"I'm sorry, little boy. You see, we're owl exterminators.",Igner,Ow!
Igner,Ow!,Walt,"And what we have here is an owl egg that's about to hatch into an owl larva. So, if you don't mind, we'll just take this and..."
Walt,"And what we have here is an owl egg that's about to hatch into an owl larva. So, if you don't mind, we'll just take this and...",Cubert,"What are you, stupid? That's a dodecahedral crystal I found hidden in the downstairs walrus tank."
Cubert,"What are you, stupid? That's a dodecahedral crystal I found hidden in the downstairs walrus tank.",Dwight,"And I wrote numbers on it so we could use it as a D12, 'cause I have the best handwriting."
Dwight,"And I wrote numbers on it so we could use it as a D12, 'cause I have the best handwriting.",Cubert,Do not.
Cubert,Do not.,Dwight,Do too.
Dwight,Do too.,Cubert,Do not.
Cubert,Do not.,Dwight,Do too.
Dwight,Do too.,Cubert,You win this round.
Cubert,You win this round.,Farnsworth,What's going on here?
Farnsworth,What's going on here?,Igner,We're owl exterminators.
Igner,We're owl exterminators.,Farnsworth,Oh? Then you won't have any problem exterminating this owl.
Farnsworth,Oh? Then you won't have any problem exterminating this owl.,Farnsworth,"My anti-backwards crystal. So it's you three. I should have known Mom would send her brainless brood to do her dirty work. Walt, the leader among imbeciles."
Farnsworth,"My anti-backwards crystal. So it's you three. I should have known Mom would send her brainless brood to do her dirty work. Walt, the leader among imbeciles.",Walt,Hey! They resent that.
Walt,Hey! They resent that.,Farnsworth,"Larry, the sniveling middle child."
Farnsworth,"Larry, the sniveling middle child.",Larry,Sorry. Thank you.
Larry,Sorry. Thank you.,Igner,We're owl exterminators.
Igner,We're owl exterminators.,Igner,Thanks for the crystal.
Igner,Thanks for the crystal.,Fry,There. The repairs are complete.
Fry,There. The repairs are complete.,Farnsworth,Rake up some dark matter and top off the tank.
Farnsworth,Rake up some dark matter and top off the tank.,Leela,"Well, there isn't any dark matter. Nibbler hasn't pooped at all. And he ate a whole family of koalas last night. Nibbler! Nibbler!"
Leela,"Well, there isn't any dark matter. Nibbler hasn't pooped at all. And he ate a whole family of koalas last night. Nibbler! Nibbler!",Leela,Ow!
Leela,Ow!,Dr.,"Perceptron: Even relaxation therapy has failed. Diagnosis, insanity. Nurse, schedule a robotomy for Bender."
Dr.,"Perceptron: Even relaxation therapy has failed. Diagnosis, insanity. Nurse, schedule a robotomy for Bender.",Nurse,"Ratchet: Yes, Doctor. I'll get the tools from the shed."
Nurse,"Ratchet: Yes, Doctor. I'll get the tools from the shed.",Dr.,"Perceptron: It's a very painful procedure. So until then, just try to relax."
Dr.,"Perceptron: It's a very painful procedure. So until then, just try to relax.",Mom,What are you laughing at?
Mom,What are you laughing at?,Larry,Your laugh. It's just so infectious.
Larry,Your laugh. It's just so infectious.,Mom,"So's herpes. Now, shut up! You and Walt, lead the killbots to the surface and blow Farnsworth out of the sky."
Mom,"So's herpes. Now, shut up! You and Walt, lead the killbots to the surface and blow Farnsworth out of the sky.",Walt,What about Igner?
Walt,What about Igner?,Mom,That hairless ape? I swear. When he came out I flipped a coin whether to keep him or the after-birth.
Mom,That hairless ape? I swear. When he came out I flipped a coin whether to keep him or the after-birth.,Walt,"Yes, Mother. You told that story at his graduation."
Walt,"Yes, Mother. You told that story at his graduation.",Mom,"I'm afraid he can't be trusted on this mission. You see, there is a terrible secret about Igner I've never told anyone. And here it is."
Mom,"I'm afraid he can't be trusted on this mission. You see, there is a terrible secret about Igner I've never told anyone. And here it is.",Walt,Continue returning fire.
Walt,Continue returning fire.,Killbot,1 What?
Killbot,1 What?,Killbot,2 What did they say?
Killbot,2 What did they say?,Killbot,1: I don't know. I can't hear a thing.
Killbot,1: I don't know. I can't hear a thing.,Killbot,"3 Hey, what's everybody talking about?"
Killbot,"3 Hey, what's everybody talking about?",Farnsworth,We weren't actually in the ship.
Farnsworth,We weren't actually in the ship.,Leela,"Okay, team, these red-hot, razor-sharp fans are the only safe way into the mine."
Leela,"Okay, team, these red-hot, razor-sharp fans are the only safe way into the mine.",Elevator,Steward: Maintenance shaft 7 serving...
Elevator,Steward: Maintenance shaft 7 serving...,Farnsworth,Shut your mouth.
Farnsworth,Shut your mouth.,Elevator,Steward: I'm just talking about the shaft.
Elevator,Steward: I'm just talking about the shaft.,Fry,"Jeez, doesn't that shock collar hurt?"
Fry,"Jeez, doesn't that shock collar hurt?",Leela,"Actually, feels kind of good. I guess I'm starting to associate it with the pleasure of beating people up."
Leela,"Actually, feels kind of good. I guess I'm starting to associate it with the pleasure of beating people up.",Walt,"We shot them down, Mother. The intruders never even got to Sector 1."
Walt,"We shot them down, Mother. The intruders never even got to Sector 1.",Security,Woman (on PA): Intruders in Sector 15. Intruders in Sector 15.
Security,Woman (on PA): Intruders in Sector 15. Intruders in Sector 15.,Mom,All Killbots to Sector 15.
Mom,All Killbots to Sector 15.,Killbot,1 What did she say?
Killbot,1 What did she say?,Killbot,2
Killbot,2,Fry,"There are so many killbots behind us I can't count them all. Three, I think."
Fry,"There are so many killbots behind us I can't count them all. Three, I think.",Leela,We're trapped.
Leela,We're trapped.,Farnsworth,The main pit must be in here. I'm detecting vast quantities of Dark Matter.
Farnsworth,The main pit must be in here. I'm detecting vast quantities of Dark Matter.,Leela,My God! This isn't a crap mine. It's a crap farm.
Leela,My God! This isn't a crap mine. It's a crap farm.,Fry,Is there really so much of a distinction? I mean...
Fry,Is there really so much of a distinction? I mean...,Nibbler,"Leela, it's me, Nibbler."
Nibbler,"Leela, it's me, Nibbler.",Leela,"Oh, my God, you look horrible, Nibbler. I think I'm going to vomit."
Leela,"Oh, my God, you look horrible, Nibbler. I think I'm going to vomit.",Nibblonian,Nibbler is over there.
Nibblonian,Nibbler is over there.,Leela,"Oh, sorry. Nibbler! Oh, my poor little snuzzy-wuzzams. Are they treating you okay?"
Leela,"Oh, sorry. Nibbler! Oh, my poor little snuzzy-wuzzams. Are they treating you okay?",Nibbler,Those are good. You've got to help us.
Nibbler,Those are good. You've got to help us.,Nibblonians,Help us!
Nibblonians,Help us!,Nibblonian,"Help us, for God's sakes!"
Nibblonian,"Help us, for God's sakes!",Leela,Nibbler made a bo-bo.
Leela,Nibbler made a bo-bo.,Nibbler,"Yes, but not on my terms. I will not be treated like... Hey, wait, aren't you amazed I can speak?"
Nibbler,"Yes, but not on my terms. I will not be treated like... Hey, wait, aren't you amazed I can speak?",Fry,"Well, actually, no. You forgot to blank our memories after you spoke last time."
Fry,"Well, actually, no. You forgot to blank our memories after you spoke last time.",Nibbler,You mean you've known I was sentient? Then why did you let me eat Friskies and make bo-bo in a litter box?
Nibbler,You mean you've known I was sentient? Then why did you let me eat Friskies and make bo-bo in a litter box?,Fry,"Well, you're cuter that way."
Fry,"Well, you're cuter that way.",Farnsworth,Cute as a baby's buttocks.
Farnsworth,Cute as a baby's buttocks.,Leela,So what happened? How did Mom capture all you Nibblonians?
Leela,So what happened? How did Mom capture all you Nibblonians?,Nibbler,"I was Supreme Fuzzler of a Nibblonian scientific outpost. It was paradise, until they came. One of your DOOP ships struck dark matter, little realizing it was not a natural deposit, but rather centuries of Nibblonian fecal material."
Nibbler,"I was Supreme Fuzzler of a Nibblonian scientific outpost. It was paradise, until they came. One of your DOOP ships struck dark matter, little realizing it was not a natural deposit, but rather centuries of Nibblonian fecal material.",Fry,"Wow, the big fecal enchilada. Anyone else hungry?"
Fry,"Wow, the big fecal enchilada. Anyone else hungry?",Nibbler,The DOOP contracted a ruthless businesswoman to spearhead the mining operation.
Nibbler,The DOOP contracted a ruthless businesswoman to spearhead the mining operation.,Leela,Let me guess. Mom?
Leela,Let me guess. Mom?,Nibbler,The very same.
Nibbler,The very same.,Fry,Can I also guess Mom?
Fry,Can I also guess Mom?,Nibbler,"To reduce cost she started a new enterprise, Mom's Friendly Robots, to build robot slaves. Remember this was back in the days before Robot Lincoln."
Nibbler,"To reduce cost she started a new enterprise, Mom's Friendly Robots, to build robot slaves. Remember this was back in the days before Robot Lincoln.",Mom,"Faster, faster!"
Mom,"Faster, faster!",Robot,Slave: I'm going exactly as fast as you built me to go.
Robot,Slave: I'm going exactly as fast as you built me to go.,Mom,"Oh, wise guy, huh?"
Mom,"Oh, wise guy, huh?",Robot,Slave: Ow!
Robot,Slave: Ow!,Mom,"So, that's where it comes from. We may have a whole new source of Dark Matter on our hands."
Mom,"So, that's where it comes from. We may have a whole new source of Dark Matter on our hands.",Igner,Eww!
Igner,Eww!,Nibbler,"Unbeknownst to me, Mom captured my colleagues and enslaved them here in this... this... crap farm."
Nibbler,"Unbeknownst to me, Mom captured my colleagues and enslaved them here in this... this... crap farm.",Nibblonian,"There's nothing to do but eat and crap, eat and crap. It's like visiting my parents."
Nibblonian,"There's nothing to do but eat and crap, eat and crap. It's like visiting my parents.",Nibbler,"As for me, I emerged from behind the bush of many uses to find I had been left behind. I was doomed, doomed."
Nibbler,"As for me, I emerged from behind the bush of many uses to find I had been left behind. I was doomed, doomed.",Leela,"Hello, there."
Leela,"Hello, there.",Nibbler,"Startled, my cuteness reflex kicked in."
Nibbler,"Startled, my cuteness reflex kicked in.",Leela,I'll call him Nibbler.
Leela,I'll call him Nibbler.,Leela,"But then, how did you end up here with the others?"
Leela,"But then, how did you end up here with the others?",Nibbler,I was kidnapped yesterday by Mom's vile sons in their moronic disguises.
Nibbler,I was kidnapped yesterday by Mom's vile sons in their moronic disguises.,Igner,Do you have the crysal?
Igner,Do you have the crysal?,Farnsworth,"It's pronounced crystal, you lump."
Farnsworth,"It's pronounced crystal, you lump.",Walt,Did you see anyone?
Walt,Did you see anyone?,Igner,Me?
Igner,Me?,Walt,"Yes, you. You're the only one here."
Walt,"Yes, you. You're the only one here.",Igner,"If I'm the only one here, then how could I see anyone?"
Igner,"If I'm the only one here, then how could I see anyone?",Larry,"He's got a point, Walt."
Larry,"He's got a point, Walt.",Walt,So does my knee.
Walt,So does my knee.,Fry,This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the chickens.
Fry,This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the chickens.,Nurse,"Ratchet: Don't worry, those clamps are for my own protection."
Nurse,"Ratchet: Don't worry, those clamps are for my own protection.",Dr.,"Perceptron: Do you know where you are, Bender?"
Dr.,"Perceptron: Do you know where you are, Bender?",Bender,"Sure do, I'm in the magical land of Cornwood, frolicking with wenches."
Bender,"Sure do, I'm in the magical land of Cornwood, frolicking with wenches.",Dr.,Perceptron
Dr.,Perceptron,Nurse,Ratchet: Can't you just use the access panel?
Nurse,Ratchet: Can't you just use the access panel?,Dr.,Perceptron: Either way is fine.
Dr.,Perceptron: Either way is fine.,Bender,Does anyone else smell burning dragon beak?
Bender,Does anyone else smell burning dragon beak?,Mom,I know Farnsworth's game. He is going to try to poke his clammy old crystal at my hot fiery crystal.
Mom,I know Farnsworth's game. He is going to try to poke his clammy old crystal at my hot fiery crystal.,Larry,Mom!
Larry,Mom!,Mom,Wham! All my dark matter will be worthless.
Mom,Wham! All my dark matter will be worthless.,Mom,Get them!
Mom,Get them!,Leela,Ooh. That feels good.
Leela,Ooh. That feels good.,Mom,"Oh, the freaking battery's dead. Walt, where's the charger?"
Mom,"Oh, the freaking battery's dead. Walt, where's the charger?",Mom,Damn tangled mess of wires.
Mom,Damn tangled mess of wires.,Mom,"Hang on. I'm on it. Okay, there!"
Mom,"Hang on. I'm on it. Okay, there!",Fry,"Save us, Catman."
Fry,"Save us, Catman.",Mom,"It's over, Hubert. Give me the anti-backwards crystal."
Mom,"It's over, Hubert. Give me the anti-backwards crystal.",Dr.,"Perceptron: I will now delicately jerk out your imagination, severing fantasy's grip on your nerd-circuit."
Dr.,"Perceptron: I will now delicately jerk out your imagination, severing fantasy's grip on your nerd-circuit.",Dr.,Perceptron: Illogical. Illogical. Computational overload.
Dr.,Perceptron: Illogical. Illogical. Computational overload.,Nurse,Rachet
Nurse,Rachet,Mom,"Oh, what now?"
Mom,"Oh, what now?",Frydo,"This is crazy. Ow! What the... You okay, Leela?"
Frydo,"This is crazy. Ow! What the... You okay, Leela?",Leegola,"Oh, Lord. I'm half-horse and half-naked."
Leegola,"Oh, Lord. I'm half-horse and half-naked.",Frydo,"Where the hell are we, hell?"
Frydo,"Where the hell are we, hell?",Frydo,Bender?
Frydo,Bender?,Titanius,Anglesmith: I know not of this Bender. I'm Titanius Anglesmith. Welcome to Cornwood!
Titanius,Anglesmith: I know not of this Bender. I'm Titanius Anglesmith. Welcome to Cornwood!,Titanius,"Anglesmith: Wretched peasants, put aside your cares and feast on the succulent flesh of the roast munchkin!"
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Wretched peasants, put aside your cares and feast on the succulent flesh of the roast munchkin!",Peasent,Cook: Care for a slice of scroto?
Peasent,Cook: Care for a slice of scroto?,Frydo,"Uh... that's his name, right?"
Frydo,"Uh... that's his name, right?",Peasent,"Cook: 'Tis also that, sir."
Peasent,"Cook: 'Tis also that, sir.",Titanius,Anglesmith
Titanius,Anglesmith,Dwarf,My ankle!
Dwarf,My ankle!,Titanius,Anglesmith: To the kitchen with him!
Titanius,Anglesmith: To the kitchen with him!,Dwarf,"Wait! Wait! Wait! I do impressions. Behold! The swamp hag: Get out of my swamp, you kids!"
Dwarf,"Wait! Wait! Wait! I do impressions. Behold! The swamp hag: Get out of my swamp, you kids!",Titanius,Anglesmith: Don't let him get too crispy.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Don't let him get too crispy.,Calculon,Lord Anglesmith.
Calculon,Lord Anglesmith.,Titanius,"Anglesmith: You have ridden hard, noble squire. May I offer you a horn of ale and a shank of dwarf?"
Titanius,"Anglesmith: You have ridden hard, noble squire. May I offer you a horn of ale and a shank of dwarf?",Calculon,"'Tis dire news, sire. Dark riders approach."
Calculon,"'Tis dire news, sire. Dark riders approach.",Titanius,Anglesmith Frydo! Saddle up that trusty steed.
Titanius,Anglesmith Frydo! Saddle up that trusty steed.,Frydo,What's happening? And why am I enjoying it so much?
Frydo,What's happening? And why am I enjoying it so much?,Titanius,Anglesmith: Foul beast-bags! Meet thy doom!
Titanius,Anglesmith: Foul beast-bags! Meet thy doom!,Waltazar,Follow me.
Waltazar,Follow me.,Waltazar,"Damn thee, Ignus."
Waltazar,"Damn thee, Ignus.",Ignus,"Well, you said to follow you."
Ignus,"Well, you said to follow you.",Larius,The Die of Power! He's rolling it.
Larius,The Die of Power! He's rolling it.,Waltazar,"Oh, no!"
Waltazar,"Oh, no!",Titanius,Anglesmith
Titanius,Anglesmith,Die,of Power
Die,of Power,Titanius,Anglesmith: Banish foes? Cool.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Banish foes? Cool.,Waltazar,No! No!
Waltazar,No! No!,Larius,"I got to say, I had no idea the Die of Power was so powerful."
Larius,"I got to say, I had no idea the Die of Power was so powerful.",Swamp,"Hag: Get out of my swamp, you kids!"
Swamp,"Hag: Get out of my swamp, you kids!",Leegola,What else can we slay? Is that a hobbit over there?
Leegola,What else can we slay? Is that a hobbit over there?,Frydo,"Thank God, an outhouse. I can't hold it in much longer. And by it, I mean my entrails."
Frydo,"Thank God, an outhouse. I can't hold it in much longer. And by it, I mean my entrails.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: Hush! This be no outhouse, but the lair of the great wizard Grayfarn."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Hush! This be no outhouse, but the lair of the great wizard Grayfarn.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: 'Tis I, Titanius."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: 'Tis I, Titanius.",Titanius,"Anglesmith Methinks the wizard be casting a powerful spell, indeed."
Titanius,"Anglesmith Methinks the wizard be casting a powerful spell, indeed.",Greyfarn,"Come in! Come in! Yes. 'Tis a powerful object in both our worlds. If you failed to destroy it in yours, perhaps you were brought here that you might have a second chance."
Greyfarn,"Come in! Come in! Yes. 'Tis a powerful object in both our worlds. If you failed to destroy it in yours, perhaps you were brought here that you might have a second chance.",Frydo,"So, this land is real?"
Frydo,"So, this land is real?",Greyfarn,"Oh, dreadfully real. If you die here, you'll really be dead. But instead of science, we believe in crazy hocus-pocus. It's like Kansas."
Greyfarn,"Oh, dreadfully real. If you die here, you'll really be dead. But instead of science, we believe in crazy hocus-pocus. It's like Kansas.",Leegola,God help us.
Leegola,God help us.,Greyfarn,"Deep in the Geysers of Gygax, Momon herself injection-molded the Dice of Power from the living plastic."
Greyfarn,"Deep in the Geysers of Gygax, Momon herself injection-molded the Dice of Power from the living plastic.",Momon,"Damn, these are hot."
Momon,"Damn, these are hot.",Leegola,Ah ha! In our universe she's called Mom.
Leegola,Ah ha! In our universe she's called Mom.,Titanius,Anglesmith
Titanius,Anglesmith,Greyfarn,"Don't be foolish, Titanius. If you had paid attention in freshman alchemy, instead of frequenting the bawdyhouse, you'd know there's only one way to destroy it. In the boiling plastic from which it was molded."
Greyfarn,"Don't be foolish, Titanius. If you had paid attention in freshman alchemy, instead of frequenting the bawdyhouse, you'd know there's only one way to destroy it. In the boiling plastic from which it was molded.",Frydo,Like that machine that makes wax lions at the zoo.
Frydo,Like that machine that makes wax lions at the zoo.,Greyfarn,"Quiet, you. We must infiltrate the Geysers of Gygax, the impenetrable stronghold of Momon."
Greyfarn,"Quiet, you. We must infiltrate the Geysers of Gygax, the impenetrable stronghold of Momon.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: Impossible. Impossible, I say."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Impossible. Impossible, I say.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: Verily, our quest has begun."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Verily, our quest has begun.",Hermaphrodite,Stop right there.
Hermaphrodite,Stop right there.,Frydo,Hermes?
Frydo,Hermes?,Leegola,He's a centaur like me.
Leegola,He's a centaur like me.,Frydo,You wish.
Frydo,You wish.,Hermaphrodite,"I am Hermaphrodite, most beautiful of centaurs. Gaze upon me and weep at my loveliness."
Hermaphrodite,"I am Hermaphrodite, most beautiful of centaurs. Gaze upon me and weep at my loveliness.",Greyfarn,Very well.
Greyfarn,Very well.,Titanius,"Anglesmith: Loveliest of centaurs, we seek to end Momon's reign of evil. Have you stout fighters at your command?"
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Loveliest of centaurs, we seek to end Momon's reign of evil. Have you stout fighters at your command?",Hermaphrodite,Fire!
Hermaphrodite,Fire!,Titanius,Anglesmith
Titanius,Anglesmith,Leegola,I knew it. My people are mighty warriors. Our enemies will be like Swiss cheese with blood coming out of the holes.
Leegola,I knew it. My people are mighty warriors. Our enemies will be like Swiss cheese with blood coming out of the holes.,Female,Centaur: We centaurs are creatures of peace.
Female,Centaur: We centaurs are creatures of peace.,Leegola,"Oh, Lord."
Leegola,"Oh, Lord.",Hermaphrodite,"Violence is never justified. We shall not join your quest. And furthermore, if mayhem be your intent, you may not cross our lands."
Hermaphrodite,"Violence is never justified. We shall not join your quest. And furthermore, if mayhem be your intent, you may not cross our lands.",Leegola,Or what?
Leegola,Or what?,Hermaphrodite,You may pass.
Hermaphrodite,You may pass.,Greyfarn,"We're not there, we're here."
Greyfarn,"We're not there, we're here.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: No, this way."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: No, this way.",Greyfarn,"I mean, here."
Greyfarn,"I mean, here.",Greyfarn,"Thank you, kindly, Treedledum."
Greyfarn,"Thank you, kindly, Treedledum.",Treedledum,Okey-doke. Anything else I can do?
Treedledum,Okey-doke. Anything else I can do?,Leegola,You know who I'm gonna miss? That tree guy.
Leegola,You know who I'm gonna miss? That tree guy.,Greyfarn,"Bad news, fancy men. Momon's guards stand watch at the pass. 'Tis as if she somehow anticipated us."
Greyfarn,"Bad news, fancy men. Momon's guards stand watch at the pass. 'Tis as if she somehow anticipated us.",Titanius,Anglesmith: And so our quest comes to an end. I only regret not giving up sooner.
Titanius,Anglesmith: And so our quest comes to an end. I only regret not giving up sooner.,Greyfarn,"Fret not, Titanius. For we still have one hope, the Cave of Hopelessness."
Greyfarn,"Fret not, Titanius. For we still have one hope, the Cave of Hopelessness.",Titanius,Anglesmith: Let me know how that turns out.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Let me know how that turns out.,Ogre,Halt. Are you on the list? I'm not seeing you on the list.
Ogre,Halt. Are you on the list? I'm not seeing you on the list.,Leegola,I'll split this doofus in half.
Leegola,I'll split this doofus in half.,Titanius,"Anglesmith: Wait, I got it. Yeah. My cousin's in the band. The band of merry men. Please, we were already in there. I just need to go back for my coat."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Wait, I got it. Yeah. My cousin's in the band. The band of merry men. Please, we were already in there. I just need to go back for my coat.",Gynecaladriel,"I am Gynecaladriel, queen of the water nymphos."
Gynecaladriel,"I am Gynecaladriel, queen of the water nymphos.",Leegola,All right. I'll split this doofus in half.
Leegola,All right. I'll split this doofus in half.,Gynecaladriel,"Behold, the deed is done."
Gynecaladriel,"Behold, the deed is done.",Titanius,Anglesmith: Hi oh!
Titanius,Anglesmith: Hi oh!,Frydo,"Mr. Wizard, why is this place called the Cave of Hopelessness?"
Frydo,"Mr. Wizard, why is this place called the Cave of Hopelessness?",Greyfarn,"Oh, fear not, lad. 'Tis named for its discoverer, Reginald Hopelessness..."
Greyfarn,"Oh, fear not, lad. 'Tis named for its discoverer, Reginald Hopelessness...",Frydo,Whew!
Frydo,Whew!,Greyfarn,...the first man to be eaten alive by the Tunneling Horror.
Greyfarn,...the first man to be eaten alive by the Tunneling Horror.,Frydo,What's that? The Tunneling Horror?
Frydo,What's that? The Tunneling Horror?,Gynecaladriel,"No, it's morcs."
Gynecaladriel,"No, it's morcs.",Morcs,"Hey, listen. Nanu, nanu. Shazbot."
Morcs,"Hey, listen. Nanu, nanu. Shazbot.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: Oh, God, no. They're so aggravating."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: Oh, God, no. They're so aggravating.",Morcs,"Mindy, Mindy, Mindy."
Morcs,"Mindy, Mindy, Mindy.",Gynecaladriel,Shut up! Shut up!
Gynecaladriel,Shut up! Shut up!,Morcs,"Oh, fantastic. Oh, fantastic. Oh, wonderful."
Morcs,"Oh, fantastic. Oh, fantastic. Oh, wonderful.",Frydo,Maybe it'll go away if we just don't laugh at it.
Frydo,Maybe it'll go away if we just don't laugh at it.,Titanius,Anglesmith: It doesn't.
Titanius,Anglesmith: It doesn't.,Frydo,Uh-oh.
Frydo,Uh-oh.,Zoidberg,Enough already with the banging and the swashbuckling.
Zoidberg,Enough already with the banging and the swashbuckling.,Zoidberg,"Again? What, am I talking to myself over here?"
Zoidberg,"Again? What, am I talking to myself over here?",Zoidberg,"Okay. Now, I'm getting a little mad even."
Zoidberg,"Okay. Now, I'm getting a little mad even.",Frydo,"Leela, it's over. You killed him enough."
Frydo,"Leela, it's over. You killed him enough.",Leegola,I'm not taking any chances with the Tunneling Horror.
Leegola,I'm not taking any chances with the Tunneling Horror.,Leegola,"So, you're just an innocent monster. Oh, God. What have I done?"
Leegola,"So, you're just an innocent monster. Oh, God. What have I done?",Zoidberg,Oh! There he goes again.
Zoidberg,Oh! There he goes again.,Titanius,Anglesmith
Titanius,Anglesmith,Frydo,"Greyfarn, what do we do?"
Frydo,"Greyfarn, what do we do?",Greyfarn,Do about what?
Greyfarn,Do about what?,Frydo,"Why aren't you killing it, Leela? You love killing."
Frydo,"Why aren't you killing it, Leela? You love killing.",Leegola,"No, no more killing."
Leegola,"No, no more killing.",Zoidberg,"Oh! So, suddenly, Miss Goody Four-shoes over here doesn't kill anymore. She killed me not five minutes ago. What am I? Chopped liver?"
Zoidberg,"Oh! So, suddenly, Miss Goody Four-shoes over here doesn't kill anymore. She killed me not five minutes ago. What am I? Chopped liver?",Zoidberg,Ow! Stop chopping my liver.
Zoidberg,Ow! Stop chopping my liver.,Frydo,"All right. I may be weak and I may be small, but I don't see how I can possibly destroy that monster. Guess I'll just huck whatever's in my pockets at him. At least I can say I tried."
Frydo,"All right. I may be weak and I may be small, but I don't see how I can possibly destroy that monster. Guess I'll just huck whatever's in my pockets at him. At least I can say I tried.",Titanius,Anglesmith: Any time now.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Any time now.,Frydo,The Die of Power. I forgot to remember to roll it.
Frydo,The Die of Power. I forgot to remember to roll it.,Die,of Power: Three.
Die,of Power: Three.,Frydo,"Wow, that was intense. You guys got to try the Die of Power."
Frydo,"Wow, that was intense. You guys got to try the Die of Power.",Titanius,Anglesmith: I'll take a hit.
Titanius,Anglesmith: I'll take a hit.,Greyfarn,"Resist the allure of the die. For to defeat Momon, we must melt it in the super bombastic, bubbling plastic from whence it came."
Greyfarn,"Resist the allure of the die. For to defeat Momon, we must melt it in the super bombastic, bubbling plastic from whence it came.",Greyfarn,"For to defeat Momon, we must melt it in the super bombastic, bubbling plastic from whence it came."
Greyfarn,"For to defeat Momon, we must melt it in the super bombastic, bubbling plastic from whence it came.",Momon,I send you to kill them and they're not even maimed? That's what I get for sending boys to do a mom's job.
Momon,I send you to kill them and they're not even maimed? That's what I get for sending boys to do a mom's job.,Larius,"Sorry, Mom."
Larius,"Sorry, Mom.",Momon,You're up.
Momon,You're up.,Ignus,I like this part but I don't like...
Ignus,I like this part but I don't like...,Centaur,"Opponent: You are an able opponent, Hermaphrodite. But hear me well when I posit that we must abhor violence in all its forms."
Centaur,"Opponent: You are an able opponent, Hermaphrodite. But hear me well when I posit that we must abhor violence in all its forms.",Hermaphrodite,I offer a dissenting opinion.
Hermaphrodite,I offer a dissenting opinion.,Hermaphrodite,Ah! Don't hurt me.
Hermaphrodite,Ah! Don't hurt me.,Leegola,"I'm not here to hurt you. Or anything ever again. Please, teach me the centaurs' ways of wimpiness."
Leegola,"I'm not here to hurt you. Or anything ever again. Please, teach me the centaurs' ways of wimpiness.",Hermaphrodite,What do you offer in return?
Hermaphrodite,What do you offer in return?,Titanius,Anglesmith Ow!
Titanius,Anglesmith Ow!,Greyfarn,"We're close now, my friends. So close, I can practically feel the heat of the fiery molten plastic."
Greyfarn,"We're close now, my friends. So close, I can practically feel the heat of the fiery molten plastic.",Gynecaladriel,You're standing in the fire.
Gynecaladriel,You're standing in the fire.,Greyfarn,"Alas, our path is blocked by Momon's army of evil. As well as her navy of moral dubiousness."
Greyfarn,"Alas, our path is blocked by Momon's army of evil. As well as her navy of moral dubiousness.",Titanius,Anglesmith: Wait a second. Mayhaps we might raise an army of our own. We're but an hour's ride from Wipe Castle.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Wait a second. Mayhaps we might raise an army of our own. We're but an hour's ride from Wipe Castle.,Greyfarn,"Of course. Wipe Castle. And while we're there, we can get some of those greasy little dwarf burgers."
Greyfarn,"Of course. Wipe Castle. And while we're there, we can get some of those greasy little dwarf burgers.",Gynecaladriel,Ooh! I love those. You can eat like eight of them without gaining any weight because of all the diarrhea.
Gynecaladriel,Ooh! I love those. You can eat like eight of them without gaining any weight because of all the diarrhea.,Momon,We've got them now. Send all our forces against Wipe Castle.
Momon,We've got them now. Send all our forces against Wipe Castle.,Waltazar,"Right away, Mother. I'll just leave a small contingent behind in case..."
Waltazar,"Right away, Mother. I'll just leave a small contingent behind in case...",Momon,"I said, everything. Peaches!"
Momon,"I said, everything. Peaches!",Peaches,(offscreen): I'm in the tub.
Peaches,(offscreen): I'm in the tub.,Momon,"Waltazar, you and Larius shall lead the assault."
Momon,"Waltazar, you and Larius shall lead the assault.",Waltazar,What about Ignus?
Waltazar,What about Ignus?,Momon,"I'm afraid he can't be trusted on this mission. You see, there is a terrible secret about Ignus I've never told anyone. And here it is."
Momon,"I'm afraid he can't be trusted on this mission. You see, there is a terrible secret about Ignus I've never told anyone. And here it is.",Frydo,They all wants it. They wants the dodecalicious.
Frydo,They all wants it. They wants the dodecalicious.,Reflection,"Host: Tell you what, you want to defend a magic artifact, and I mean, defend it good, then what you need is a top-quality knife."
Reflection,"Host: Tell you what, you want to defend a magic artifact, and I mean, defend it good, then what you need is a top-quality knife.",Frydo,Me is listening.
Frydo,Me is listening.,Reflection,"Host: The Eviscerator is one of the finest, if not the finest, tactical folder on the market today. We're talking 440 stainless, quick release and... I don't believe this. Is this a stag horn handle at this price?"
Reflection,"Host: The Eviscerator is one of the finest, if not the finest, tactical folder on the market today. We're talking 440 stainless, quick release and... I don't believe this. Is this a stag horn handle at this price?",Reflection,"Host 2: It is, yeah. It's a stag horn."
Reflection,"Host 2: It is, yeah. It's a stag horn.",Reflection,"Host: At this price? You have got to be kidding me. That's got to be some kind of mistake, right there."
Reflection,"Host: At this price? You have got to be kidding me. That's got to be some kind of mistake, right there.",Reflection,"Host 2: Now, you folks at home, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, that can't be stag horn. It's got to be the cheaper manticore horn. But, I've got the specs right here and I'll tell you what, this is the real deal."
Reflection,"Host 2: Now, you folks at home, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, that can't be stag horn. It's got to be the cheaper manticore horn. But, I've got the specs right here and I'll tell you what, this is the real deal.",Reflection,Host: Unbelievable.
Reflection,Host: Unbelievable.,Reflection,"Host 2: It is unbelievable. That's exactly what it is. I mean, this is... I have no words to describe this deal. Honestly, have you ever seen stag horn at this price?"
Reflection,"Host 2: It is unbelievable. That's exactly what it is. I mean, this is... I have no words to describe this deal. Honestly, have you ever seen stag horn at this price?",Reflection,"Host: No, no, I don't believe I ever have."
Reflection,"Host: No, no, I don't believe I ever have.",Reflection,Host 2: 1101-1816 is the item number on this one.
Reflection,Host 2: 1101-1816 is the item number on this one.,Reflection,"Host: You know what, we're gonna have to  put a clock on this deal, folks. Two minutes. Can I get a clock at two minutes up there?"
Reflection,"Host: You know what, we're gonna have to  put a clock on this deal, folks. Two minutes. Can I get a clock at two minutes up there?",Reflection,"Host 2: Two minutes at most. Honestly, I'd be surprised if they last that long."
Reflection,"Host 2: Two minutes at most. Honestly, I'd be surprised if they last that long.",Reflection,"Host: Oh, I'd be very surprised, shocked really. Now, I know the lines are busy, people, but keep dialing in if you want a truly exceptional knife to slice up your friends in their sleep."
Reflection,"Host: Oh, I'd be very surprised, shocked really. Now, I know the lines are busy, people, but keep dialing in if you want a truly exceptional knife to slice up your friends in their sleep.",Titanius,"Anglesmith: He tried to murder me. He tried... Woah, cool. Is that the stag horn?"
Titanius,"Anglesmith: He tried to murder me. He tried... Woah, cool. Is that the stag horn?",Greyfarn,"Alas, Frydo's weakness was no match for the die's strength. We can only hope he forges on alone to the Geysers."
Greyfarn,"Alas, Frydo's weakness was no match for the die's strength. We can only hope he forges on alone to the Geysers.",Titanius,Anglesmith: I can hope my ass is made of ice-cream but that don't make me a hot fudge sundae.
Titanius,Anglesmith: I can hope my ass is made of ice-cream but that don't make me a hot fudge sundae.,Greyfarn,"As for us, we must press on to Wipe Castle, though the journey be long and I fear I may not live to see it."
Greyfarn,"As for us, we must press on to Wipe Castle, though the journey be long and I fear I may not live to see it.",Gynecaladriel,There it is!
Gynecaladriel,There it is!,Frydo,They's following us's.
Frydo,They's following us's.,Zoidberg,"Head: You know, you talk like that, it's gonna cost you points at a job interview."
Zoidberg,"Head: You know, you talk like that, it's gonna cost you points at a job interview.",Frydo,What does it wants?
Frydo,What does it wants?,Zoidberg,"Head Second, I thought I could help you destroy the die, maybe."
Zoidberg,"Head Second, I thought I could help you destroy the die, maybe.",Frydo,Help me!
Frydo,Help me!,Swamp,"Hag: Get out of my swamp, you kids!"
Swamp,"Hag: Get out of my swamp, you kids!",URL,"Now, before your audience with the king, there's a shocking fact you best know about him."
URL,"Now, before your audience with the king, there's a shocking fact you best know about him.",Titanius,Anglesmith: Enough blabbety-blab! Open the doors.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Enough blabbety-blab! Open the doors.,Roberto,"What, ho?"
Roberto,"What, ho?",Titanius,"Anglesmith: We bring ill tidings, o fanciest of men. Momon's reach nears the die of power. And should she obtain it, she will then have the entire basic set. Rivers will run red with blood and yellow with urine. And a dog will be seen eating cat food in the land. Oh, great king, your army is the last hope of Cornwood. Let us join forces before the light of good is extinguished forever."
Titanius,"Anglesmith: We bring ill tidings, o fanciest of men. Momon's reach nears the die of power. And should she obtain it, she will then have the entire basic set. Rivers will run red with blood and yellow with urine. And a dog will be seen eating cat food in the land. Oh, great king, your army is the last hope of Cornwood. Let us join forces before the light of good is extinguished forever.",Roberto,You calling me crazy? Just 'cause I've got a hotel in my foot don't make me a boogalee-moogalee-moogalee.
Roberto,You calling me crazy? Just 'cause I've got a hotel in my foot don't make me a boogalee-moogalee-moogalee.,Titanius,Anglesmith: Pardon?
Titanius,Anglesmith: Pardon?,Roberto,"Stop laughing at me, fried avocado."
Roberto,"Stop laughing at me, fried avocado.",Titanius,Anglesmith ...I hereby place myself in command of the royal army.
Titanius,Anglesmith ...I hereby place myself in command of the royal army.,URL,What royal army would that be?
URL,What royal army would that be?,Greyfarn,What?
Greyfarn,What?,Smitty,King went insane and declared war on the scallops. Tied his army to a boulder and pushed them into the sea. They never returned.
Smitty,King went insane and declared war on the scallops. Tied his army to a boulder and pushed them into the sea. They never returned.,Greyfarn,"Oh, well. There'll be no epic battle today."
Greyfarn,"Oh, well. There'll be no epic battle today.",Titanius,Anglesmith.
Titanius,Anglesmith.,Larius,Where's their army?
Larius,Where's their army?,Waltazar,All right. On three. One...
Waltazar,All right. On three. One...,Titanius,Anglesmith
Titanius,Anglesmith,Greyfarn,Oil in the murder hole.
Greyfarn,Oil in the murder hole.,LariusI,"knew it. I was right, Walt. It's hot oil."
LariusI,"knew it. I was right, Walt. It's hot oil.",Titanius,Anglesmith: Ow.
Titanius,Anglesmith: Ow.,Roberto,AHH! Boogalee-moogalee-moogalee!
Roberto,AHH! Boogalee-moogalee-moogalee!,Leegola,What does it mean?
Leegola,What does it mean?,Female,Centaur: 'Tis as we feared. Evil will soon triumph over good.
Female,Centaur: 'Tis as we feared. Evil will soon triumph over good.,Hermaphrodite,Your friends face certain death. Followed by a disrespectful marionette show performed with their corpses.
Hermaphrodite,Your friends face certain death. Followed by a disrespectful marionette show performed with their corpses.,Leegola,No! We've got to do something.
Leegola,No! We've got to do something.,Leegola,What a load of man-horse manure.
Leegola,What a load of man-horse manure.,Hermaphrodite,"Well, Leegola, if you have a better idea, perhaps you'd like to challenge me to debate."
Hermaphrodite,"Well, Leegola, if you have a better idea, perhaps you'd like to challenge me to debate.",Frydo,I'm too exhausted. I can't go on.
Frydo,I'm too exhausted. I can't go on.,Zoidberg,"Head: I'm here for you, my friend. I'll drag you onward. Even to my last ounce of strength. Grab onto my testicles."
Zoidberg,"Head: I'm here for you, my friend. I'll drag you onward. Even to my last ounce of strength. Grab onto my testicles.",Frydo,"You know, I think maybe I can walk after all."
Zoidberg,"Head: What are you waiting for, Frydo? Throw it already in the boiling plastic.",Frydo,Me's enjoys owning it.
Frydo,Me's enjoys owning it.,Zoidberg,Head
Zoidberg,Head,Frydo,Ow!
Frydo,Ow!,Momon,No!
Momon,No!,Die,of Power: Twelve.
Die,of Power: Twelve.,Frydo,"So, it's all come down to this. A dungeon and dragons."
Frydo,"So, it's all come down to this. A dungeon and dragons.",Zoidberg,Head: I didn't see it coming.
Zoidberg,Head: I didn't see it coming.,Ogres,"Eat the wizard, eat the slut. Eat the robot's shiny butt"
Ogres,"Eat the wizard, eat the slut. Eat the robot's shiny butt",Gynecaladriel,"Well, at least we'll be remembered in song."
Gynecaladriel,"Well, at least we'll be remembered in song.",Titanius,"Anglesmith Well, that worked out pretty good, eh, fellows?"
Titanius,"Anglesmith Well, that worked out pretty good, eh, fellows?",Leegola,"Prepare to fire again, brave cowards."
Leegola,"Prepare to fire again, brave cowards.",Leegola,Fire.
Leegola,Fire.,Ogre,Wuh-woah.
Ogre,Wuh-woah.,Remaining,Ogre: Whew!
Remaining,Ogre: Whew!,Greyfarn,"Frydo is fighting for his life. The fate of Cornwood is in our hands. Quickly, to the Geysers."
Greyfarn,"Frydo is fighting for his life. The fate of Cornwood is in our hands. Quickly, to the Geysers.",Titanius,Anglesmith Can it wait a couple of minutes?
Titanius,Anglesmith Can it wait a couple of minutes?,Greyfarn,"Yes. Yes, it can."
Greyfarn,"Yes. Yes, it can.",Frydo,I guess you are a match for my dragon style.
Frydo,I guess you are a match for my dragon style.,Momon,"Tell me, Frydo, are you aware that a dragon's one weakness is its soft underbelly?"
Momon,"Tell me, Frydo, are you aware that a dragon's one weakness is its soft underbelly?",Leegola,Get my friend out of your mouth.
Leegola,Get my friend out of your mouth.,Titanius,Anglesmith Whoa!
Titanius,Anglesmith Whoa!,Ignus,Quick. Get on the magic bug.
Ignus,Quick. Get on the magic bug.,Greyfarn,"It's not a magic bug, you dope. It's a magic arachnid. Can't you count the legs?"
Greyfarn,"It's not a magic bug, you dope. It's a magic arachnid. Can't you count the legs?",Ignus,No.
Ignus,No.,Greyfarn,"Six, seven, eight. Not six, eight. I'll kill you, you imbecile."
Greyfarn,"Six, seven, eight. Not six, eight. I'll kill you, you imbecile.",Momon,My underbelly. My one weakness.
Momon,My underbelly. My one weakness.,Zoidberg,"Head I got it. Now I can throw it in the hot thing over there and be the hero. On the other hand, infinite power might be nice."
Zoidberg,"Head I got it. Now I can throw it in the hot thing over there and be the hero. On the other hand, infinite power might be nice.",Ignus,"Please, I'm trying to help you."
Ignus,"Please, I'm trying to help you.",Greyfarn,Then why are you hitting me with a stick? How stupid are you that you think that's helping?
Greyfarn,Then why are you hitting me with a stick? How stupid are you that you think that's helping?,Ignus,Mommy never told you about my father.
Ignus,Mommy never told you about my father.,Greyfarn,She said he was a foul He-demon.
Greyfarn,She said he was a foul He-demon.,Ignus,You are my father.
Ignus,You are my father.,Greyfarn,"No. No, that's impossible."
Greyfarn,"No. No, that's impossible.",Ignus,Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
Ignus,Search your feelings. You know it to be true.,Ignus,Ya-huh! I heard Mommy say so.
Ignus,Ya-huh! I heard Mommy say so.,Zoidberg,Head
Zoidberg,Head,Frydo,No! No!
Frydo,No! No!,Mom,What happened?
Mom,What happened?,Leela,"My God, we're out of that weird, crazy world and back in our regular crazy world."
Leela,"My God, we're out of that weird, crazy world and back in our regular crazy world.",Fry,Did we all just have some kind of freaky dream or was it ghosts?
Fry,Did we all just have some kind of freaky dream or was it ghosts?,Farnsworth,"Neither, Fry. It was science. Bender's mighty imagination amplified by a dark matter resonance created an alternate reality that very nearly blew our minds."
Farnsworth,"Neither, Fry. It was science. Bender's mighty imagination amplified by a dark matter resonance created an alternate reality that very nearly blew our minds.",Hermes,Exactly. You can't make that kind of stuff up.
Hermes,Exactly. You can't make that kind of stuff up.,Mom,"Quit trying to explain everything. I defeated you in that world and I'll defeat you in this one. Boys, the crystal’s still in his stomach."
Mom,"Quit trying to explain everything. I defeated you in that world and I'll defeat you in this one. Boys, the crystal’s still in his stomach.",Walt,Commencing intestinal flash flood.
Walt,Commencing intestinal flash flood.,Farnsworth,"Wait! Before my moment of shame, can I..."
Farnsworth,"Wait! Before my moment of shame, can I...",Mom,"Yes, speak up."
Mom,"Yes, speak up.",Farnsworth,Can I give my boy a hug?
Farnsworth,Can I give my boy a hug?,Mom,All right. Fine. I've never done it. I guess somebody should.
Mom,All right. Fine. I've never done it. I guess somebody should.,Farnsworth,"Like father, like son, eh, boy?"
Farnsworth,"Like father, like son, eh, boy?",Mom,No. No!
Mom,No. No!,Mom,My dark matter. It's worthless.
Mom,My dark matter. It's worthless.,Farnsworth,"That's right, Mom. But fear not, fancy folk for I've just thunk up an alternative energy source. Nibbler-power."
Farnsworth,"That's right, Mom. But fear not, fancy folk for I've just thunk up an alternative energy source. Nibbler-power.",Nibbler,Hurray. Wait. What?
Nibbler,Hurray. Wait. What?,Bender,"Whip harder, Professor."
Bender,"Whip harder, Professor.",Garry,Gygax: Anyone wanna play Dungeons & Dragons for the next quadrillion years?
Garry,Gygax: Anyone wanna play Dungeons & Dragons for the next quadrillion years?,Seth,MacFarlane
Seth,MacFarlane,That,"was then and this is, too."
That,"was then and this is, too.",Bender,"Wow, Mars Vegas.  Long live the eternal city."
Bender,"Wow, Mars Vegas.  Long live the eternal city.",Mr.,"Wong: Two, one, zero!"
Mr.,"Wong: Two, one, zero!",Bender,"Rest in hell, Crapville!"
Bender,"Rest in hell, Crapville!",Mrs.,"Wong: Out here in the desert, we’re gonna build bigger, better Vegas."
Mrs.,"Wong: Out here in the desert, we’re gonna build bigger, better Vegas.",Mr.,"Wong: Bathtubs size of oceans, hookers size of bouncers."
Mr.,"Wong: Bathtubs size of oceans, hookers size of bouncers.",Bender,Hamburger!
Bender,Hamburger!,Worm,Announcer: Stand clear of the closing jaws.
Worm,Announcer: Stand clear of the closing jaws.,Bender,"Yo, you need any girders bent, I know a guy."
Bender,"Yo, you need any girders bent, I know a guy.",Amy,"Wong: So what's gonna be over there, Dad?"
Amy,"Wong: So what's gonna be over there, Dad?",Mr.,"Wong Take that, you stupid Mother Nature."
Mr.,"Wong Take that, you stupid Mother Nature.",Frida,Waterfall: Okay. Let's hit him hard.
Frida,Waterfall: Okay. Let's hit him hard.,Feministas,This land is your land.  This land is my land
Feministas,This land is your land.  This land is my land,Fry,Who are you noisy women?
Fry,Who are you noisy women?,Frida,"I'm Frida Waterfall, leader of the Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, and we will not let you man-doze this beautiful gyno-desert."
Frida,"I'm Frida Waterfall, leader of the Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, and we will not let you man-doze this beautiful gyno-desert.",Mr.,"Wong: Well, I'm Leo Wong, and I say, Boom!"
Mr.,"Wong: Well, I'm Leo Wong, and I say, Boom!",Frida,"Hey, what happened to my femi-necklace?  And where's my mega-fem?"
Frida,"Hey, what happened to my femi-necklace?  And where's my mega-fem?",Professor,"Farnsworth: Is he badly hurt, Dr. Zoidberg?"
Professor,"Farnsworth: Is he badly hurt, Dr. Zoidberg?",Zoidberg,Fry is dead!
Zoidberg,Fry is dead!,Zoidberg,"Wait, not dead.  The other thing."
Zoidberg,"Wait, not dead.  The other thing.",Mr.,Wong
Mr.,Wong,Leela,"Now, hang on.  Before you do construction, don't you have to make sure you're not harming any native species?"
Leela,"Now, hang on.  Before you do construction, don't you have to make sure you're not harming any native species?",Mr.,"Wong: You mean, cursory environmental survey?  Already done! By top scientist."
Mr.,"Wong: You mean, cursory environmental survey?  Already done! By top scientist.",Farnsworth,"Err, what?  Oh, my, yes.  You've got the go-ahead, Mr. Wong.  This place is deader than last year's cat."
Farnsworth,"Err, what?  Oh, my, yes.  You've got the go-ahead, Mr. Wong.  This place is deader than last year's cat.",Farnsworth,Killing these will be so much easier than exterminating those ponies.
Farnsworth,Killing these will be so much easier than exterminating those ponies.,Bender,I'll get it with my trusty foot cups: Stompy and Smashy.
Bender,I'll get it with my trusty foot cups: Stompy and Smashy.,Leela,"No, don't kill it! We have to..."
Leela,"No, don't kill it! We have to...",Mr.,Wong
Mr.,Wong,Leela,Poor thing.
Leela,Poor thing.,Mr.,"Wong He took it, you all saw it!"
Mr.,"Wong He took it, you all saw it!",Bender,"What's in it for me, Bender?"
Bender,"What's in it for me, Bender?",Mr.,"Wong: Okay, okay. Come back when New Vegas opens, I give you all free rooms, free dinner and free tickets to Céline Dion."
Mr.,"Wong: Okay, okay. Come back when New Vegas opens, I give you all free rooms, free dinner and free tickets to Céline Dion.",Bender,Lose the Céline Dion tickets and you got yourself a deal.
Bender,Lose the Céline Dion tickets and you got yourself a deal.,Mr.,"Wong: All right, damnit, done!"
Mr.,"Wong: All right, damnit, done!",Bender,"All right, I scored."
Bender,"All right, I scored.",Zoidberg,Oh. I'm bankrupt.
Zoidberg,Oh. I'm bankrupt.,Fry,"You said it, Hermes. He is pathetic, but lovable."
Fry,"You said it, Hermes. He is pathetic, but lovable.",Hermes,"Yup. What? I said no such thing, mon."
Hermes,"Yup. What? I said no such thing, mon.",Fry,"I am not acting weird, Leela. Why is everyone talking at once?"
Fry,"I am not acting weird, Leela. Why is everyone talking at once?",Leela,"Fry, calm down and stop braining."
Leela,"Fry, calm down and stop braining.",Amy,"Yeah, Fry, maybe you need to-"
Amy,"Yeah, Fry, maybe you need to-",Fry,"You're right, Amy! Maybe I do need some fresh air."
Fry,"You're right, Amy! Maybe I do need some fresh air.",Bender,"Man, I'm worried about him. But not enough to stop gambling for even a single second."
Bender,"Man, I'm worried about him. But not enough to stop gambling for even a single second.",Three,"Leos on the Machine: You win, damnit!"
Three,"Leos on the Machine: You win, damnit!",Fry,Voices always yelling. Who - who said that? I'm not insane. Stop it. Stop talking in me!
Fry,Voices always yelling. Who - who said that? I'm not insane. Stop it. Stop talking in me!,Hutch,Waterfall
Hutch,Waterfall,Fry,"(Over the chatter) Hey, it worked. The voices stopped."
Fry,"(Over the chatter) Hey, it worked. The voices stopped.",Hutch,That's better. My name's Hutch.
Hutch,That's better. My name's Hutch.,Fry,"Hi, Hutch. So what's with the obnoxious, shrieking voices? Are my fillings picking up The View?"
Fry,"Hi, Hutch. So what's with the obnoxious, shrieking voices? Are my fillings picking up The View?",Hutch,"No, man. Truth is, it's other people's thoughts. You're a mind reader."
Hutch,"No, man. Truth is, it's other people's thoughts. You're a mind reader.",Fry,"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Although, actually, it was sort of obvious."
Fry,"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Although, actually, it was sort of obvious.",Hutch,You don't believe me? Take off the helmet.
Hutch,You don't believe me? Take off the helmet.,Fry,I believe you.
Fry,I believe you.,Hutch,"Testing, testing. Do you read me?"
Hutch,"Testing, testing. Do you read me?",Fry,(Telepathically): Loud and clear.
Fry,(Telepathically): Loud and clear.,Hutch,What?
Hutch,What?,Fry,"I said, Loud and clear. Only I said it with my thinker, not my talker."
Fry,"I said, Loud and clear. Only I said it with my thinker, not my talker.",Hutch,Whoa! Freaky. Why can't I read your thoughts?
Hutch,Whoa! Freaky. Why can't I read your thoughts?,Fry,I don't know. Wait. What's that about a secret society?
Fry,I don't know. Wait. What's that about a secret society?,Hutch,"Never mind that. Just keep the foil on and you'll be okay. Also, it'll keep the Dark Ones from incinerating your brain."
Hutch,"Never mind that. Just keep the foil on and you'll be okay. Also, it'll keep the Dark Ones from incinerating your brain.",Fry,That's a plus.
Fry,That's a plus.,Donbot,"Whoa, whoa. Show some decorum there, Clamps. This ain't no strip show. This is a beguiling display of the pornographic arts."
Donbot,"Whoa, whoa. Show some decorum there, Clamps. This ain't no strip show. This is a beguiling display of the pornographic arts.",Joey,"Mousepad: Yo, Skip, I can see a guy's butt."
Joey,"Mousepad: Yo, Skip, I can see a guy's butt.",Michael's,"Wife: Oh, Michael, this is the perfect end to a perfect honeymoon."
Michael's,"Wife: Oh, Michael, this is the perfect end to a perfect honeymoon.",Michael,I love you so much.
Michael,I love you so much.,Bender,Is this seat taken?
Bender,Is this seat taken?,Michael,"Actually, we..."
Michael,"Actually, we...",Bender,Slide me those chicken wings. So what part of Podunk you rubes from?
Bender,Slide me those chicken wings. So what part of Podunk you rubes from?,Michael,The north-eastern.
Michael,The north-eastern.,Announcer,"Monsieurs et mademoiselles, our circus of the senses now arrives by steamboat in New Orleans, circa 2873. The muted lament of a trombone resonates through the fog, which lingers even now, months after the attack of the fog monster. With but one hope of restoring Gearoticus to his throne, our sensual fate rests in the gyrations of... Fanny."
Announcer,"Monsieurs et mademoiselles, our circus of the senses now arrives by steamboat in New Orleans, circa 2873. The muted lament of a trombone resonates through the fog, which lingers even now, months after the attack of the fog monster. With but one hope of restoring Gearoticus to his throne, our sensual fate rests in the gyrations of... Fanny.",Fanny,Yes?
Fanny,Yes?,Donbot,"Who is it, the Feds?"
Donbot,"Who is it, the Feds?",Bender,"Aren't you the Donbot, head of the Robot Mafia?"
Bender,"Aren't you the Donbot, head of the Robot Mafia?",Donbot,"Allegedly. And this is my beloved wife, Fanny, whose honor I would proudly defend with a power drill. Well, I gotta go drown a stoolie."
Donbot,"Allegedly. And this is my beloved wife, Fanny, whose honor I would proudly defend with a power drill. Well, I gotta go drown a stoolie.",Donbot,"I'm gonna be in here a while, so do me a favor and drive my wife home. It's one of them self-driving cars, so just sit in the back and do whatever."
Donbot,"I'm gonna be in here a while, so do me a favor and drive my wife home. It's one of them self-driving cars, so just sit in the back and do whatever.",Fanny,"Oh, Bender, your lips are intoxicating. It's like kissing an ashtray full of hot wings."
Fanny,"Oh, Bender, your lips are intoxicating. It's like kissing an ashtray full of hot wings.",Bender,(As if he were speaking through a fan): Aww yeahh!
Bender,(As if he were speaking through a fan): Aww yeahh!,Fry,"(Telepathically): My God, I really can read minds. I have a superpower! There must be something great I can do with this."
Fry,"(Telepathically): My God, I really can read minds. I have a superpower! There must be something great I can do with this.",Fry,"Oh, wait, that's invisibility."
Fry,"Oh, wait, that's invisibility.",Fry,"(Telepathically): Poker. With my mind-reading abilities and my invisibility... Wait, no, just the mind reading. I can't lose!"
Fry,"(Telepathically): Poker. With my mind-reading abilities and my invisibility... Wait, no, just the mind reading. I can't lose!",Fry,"Sign me up for the tournament, please."
Fry,"Sign me up for the tournament, please.",Administrator,"Okey-doke, Jiffy Pop. Entry fee's 50,000 smackers."
Administrator,"Okey-doke, Jiffy Pop. Entry fee's 50,000 smackers.",Fry,"50,000? Drat, all I have is my life savings and a token for free admission to this poker tournament."
Fry,"50,000? Drat, all I have is my life savings and a token for free admission to this poker tournament.",Amy,You're having an affair with the head of the robot mafia's wife?
Amy,You're having an affair with the head of the robot mafia's wife?,Bender,"(Off-screen): Yup, this is her I'm making out with."
Bender,"(Off-screen): Yup, this is her I'm making out with.",Hermes,"Bender, are you crazy?"
Hermes,"Bender, are you crazy?",Bender,"No, it's Fry who's crazy in this one."
Bender,"No, it's Fry who's crazy in this one.",Fry,"Psht, I'm not crazy."
Fry,"Psht, I'm not crazy.",Leela,"You sure you're okay, Fry? I mean, you do have tin foil on your head."
Leela,"You sure you're okay, Fry? I mean, you do have tin foil on your head.",Fry,"So? You've got a leech on your neck. Oh, and speaking of sucking on your neck, want to go to a movie later?"
Fry,"So? You've got a leech on your neck. Oh, and speaking of sucking on your neck, want to go to a movie later?",Elzar,"Hey, there! How are you folks doing tonight?"
Elzar,"Hey, there! How are you folks doing tonight?",Bender,Great. What are the specials?
Bender,Great. What are the specials?,Elzar,"Well, let's see now. We've got a wonderful grizzly bear that's been dipped in cornmeal and lightly tormented. Questions?"
Elzar,"Well, let's see now. We've got a wonderful grizzly bear that's been dipped in cornmeal and lightly tormented. Questions?",Amy,What was the bear's name?
Amy,What was the bear's name?,Elzar,Jojo.
Elzar,Jojo.,Amy,"Ooh, I'll have him."
Amy,"Ooh, I'll have him.",Bender,Hide me!
Bender,Hide me!,Joey,"Mousepad: Hey, Donbot, ain't that your wife what with you had that wedding with?"
Joey,"Mousepad: Hey, Donbot, ain't that your wife what with you had that wedding with?",Fanny,"Donbot, honey! What a pleasant shock! I was just having dinner alone, when suddenly you walk in on us."
Fanny,"Donbot, honey! What a pleasant shock! I was just having dinner alone, when suddenly you walk in on us.",Donbot,"Alone, huh?"
Donbot,"Alone, huh?",Bender,"I'm Bender. The world's most sexual robot. I mean, the world's most boundary-respecting robot."
Bender,"I'm Bender. The world's most sexual robot. I mean, the world's most boundary-respecting robot.",Donbot,"Nice to see you, Bender. Welcome back to our universe. Listen, sugar, I stuck up the Burlington Coat Factory and got you a little something. It's a $49 value."
Donbot,"Nice to see you, Bender. Welcome back to our universe. Listen, sugar, I stuck up the Burlington Coat Factory and got you a little something. It's a $49 value.",Danny,Not really.
Danny,Not really.,Fanny,"I never felt so alive, Bender. Listen, this turquoise-encrusted bra is worth 50 grand. Let's sell it and run off before the Donbot gets wise."
Fanny,"I never felt so alive, Bender. Listen, this turquoise-encrusted bra is worth 50 grand. Let's sell it and run off before the Donbot gets wise.",Bender,No. It will take a lot more money than that to make a girl like you happy.
Bender,No. It will take a lot more money than that to make a girl like you happy.,Fanny,"No, it won't."
Fanny,"No, it won't.",Bender,"One entry, please."
Bender,"One entry, please.",Fanny,"Bender, no! You can't beat the best players in the universe. You're not lucky enough."
Fanny,"Bender, no! You can't beat the best players in the universe. You're not lucky enough.",Bender,"The scrap metal I'm made from included a truckload of horseshoes from the luckiest racehorses in Mexico, who had just been sent to a glue factory."
Bender,"The scrap metal I'm made from included a truckload of horseshoes from the luckiest racehorses in Mexico, who had just been sent to a glue factory.",Fanny,They don't sound so lucky to me.
Fanny,They don't sound so lucky to me.,Bender,Not without their shoes.
Bender,Not without their shoes.,Fanny,"Here, Bendy, take this. It will give you 70% more luck. It's the Donbot's lucky robot's foot."
Fanny,"Here, Bendy, take this. It will give you 70% more luck. It's the Donbot's lucky robot's foot.",Bender,"No, wait, three. I stepped on a leprechaun."
Bender,"No, wait, three. I stepped on a leprechaun.",Joey,"Mousepad: Yo, you see this over here over there?"
Joey,"Mousepad: Yo, you see this over here over there?",Clamps,I'm powering up the clamps.
Clamps,I'm powering up the clamps.,Donbot,"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let us not rush to judgment."
Donbot,"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let us not rush to judgment.",Joey,"Mousepad: But, Skip, that was your lucky robot's foot what came off of your lucky leg."
Joey,"Mousepad: But, Skip, that was your lucky robot's foot what came off of your lucky leg.",Donbot,"While it is true that I did wake up with only one foot this morning, there is no proof that my beloved Fanny was involved. Aside from the hacksaw I found under her pillow."
Donbot,"While it is true that I did wake up with only one foot this morning, there is no proof that my beloved Fanny was involved. Aside from the hacksaw I found under her pillow.",Clamps,"Well, what about that Bender guy? You want I should give him the clamps?"
Clamps,"Well, what about that Bender guy? You want I should give him the clamps?",Donbot,"Not yet, Clamps. Only one thing can prove that he has my lucky foot."
Donbot,"Not yet, Clamps. Only one thing can prove that he has my lucky foot.",Clamps,Torture with the clamps or a clamp-like device?
Clamps,Torture with the clamps or a clamp-like device?,Donbot,"No. We are gonna sit tight and see if he wins the poker tournament. He does, that proves he's packing my lucky foot, in which event..."
Donbot,"No. We are gonna sit tight and see if he wins the poker tournament. He does, that proves he's packing my lucky foot, in which event...",Clamps,Or a clamp-like device.
Clamps,Or a clamp-like device.,Penn,Jillette Our act really didn't change much when he died.
Penn,Jillette Our act really didn't change much when he died.,Fry,"Bender? Oh, boogers. We're in the same tournament. Quick, get your entry fee back before I bankrupt you."
Fry,"Bender? Oh, boogers. We're in the same tournament. Quick, get your entry fee back before I bankrupt you.",Bender,"In your dreams, nutloaf."
Bender,"In your dreams, nutloaf.",Fry,Bite my shiny metal hat.
Fry,Bite my shiny metal hat.,Penn,Jillette (Whispering)
Penn,Jillette (Whispering),Bender,(Telepathically)
Bender,(Telepathically),Fry,I fold.
Fry,I fold.,Penn,Jillette: Holy crap! A stunning play by mentally ill newcomer Philip Fry. It's almost as if he knew Bender had two aces.
Penn,Jillette: Holy crap! A stunning play by mentally ill newcomer Philip Fry. It's almost as if he knew Bender had two aces.,Tex,Connecticut: I'm out.
Tex,Connecticut: I'm out.,Lrrr,I'm out.
Lrrr,I'm out.,Bender,Suck my luck!
Bender,Suck my luck!,Donbot,That's what I'm gonna do to Bender if he wins.
Donbot,That's what I'm gonna do to Bender if he wins.,Lrrr,"My cards are awful, and I need a hug."
Lrrr,"My cards are awful, and I need a hug.",Fry,I call your bluff.
Fry,I call your bluff.,Lrrr,I just wanted to make my daddy proud.
Lrrr,I just wanted to make my daddy proud.,Lrrr's,"Father: Well, you didn't. I want you and your junk moved out by Monday."
Lrrr's,"Father: Well, you didn't. I want you and your junk moved out by Monday.",Penn,"Jillette: It's getting pretty intense, folks. Based on the state of decomposition of Teller's head, we're now in hour 19 of the tournament. And the first bad deal of the night for Bender."
Penn,"Jillette: It's getting pretty intense, folks. Based on the state of decomposition of Teller's head, we're now in hour 19 of the tournament. And the first bad deal of the night for Bender.",Bender,"This is the worst possible hand, right?"
Bender,"This is the worst possible hand, right?",Tex,Connecticut: I'm all in.
Tex,Connecticut: I'm all in.,Bender,"All in! I mean, fold. Whatever."
Bender,"All in! I mean, fold. Whatever.",Penn,"Jillette Well, Bender's luck just ran out. No card can save him from elimination."
Penn,"Jillette Well, Bender's luck just ran out. No card can save him from elimination.",Boobs,Vanderbilt
Boobs,Vanderbilt,Leo,Wong
Leo,Wong,Bender,"Wooo! I'm so full of luck, it's shooting out like luck diarrhoea."
Bender,"Wooo! I'm so full of luck, it's shooting out like luck diarrhoea.",Penn,Jillette
Penn,Jillette,Bender,All in.
Bender,All in.,Fry,"But-but, you didn't even look at your cards!"
Fry,"But-but, you didn't even look at your cards!",Bender,Looking at one's cards is a crutch for players who rely on skill.
Bender,Looking at one's cards is a crutch for players who rely on skill.,Leo,"Wong: Any day now, Fry. You in or out?"
Leo,"Wong: Any day now, Fry. You in or out?",Fry,Yes! Four aces!
Fry,Yes! Four aces!,Bender,"Ah-ah-ah. Read 'em and weep, and then tell me what they are."
Bender,"Ah-ah-ah. Read 'em and weep, and then tell me what they are.",Leo,"Wong: Two kings. And with three on the board, that gives Bender five kings."
Leo,"Wong: Two kings. And with three on the board, that gives Bender five kings.",Fry,But how is that...
Fry,But how is that...,Penn,"Jillette: I don't believe it. Bender has just been dealt the King of Beers, a coaster from the bar that somehow got mixed into the deck. But it still counts!"
Penn,"Jillette: I don't believe it. Bender has just been dealt the King of Beers, a coaster from the bar that somehow got mixed into the deck. But it still counts!",Leo,Wong: Bender win the Championship!
Leo,Wong: Bender win the Championship!,Fanny,"You did it, Bender. You're the greatest."
Fanny,"You did it, Bender. You're the greatest.",Bender,"Tell me something I don't know, sweetass. Now, let's boogie. We'll be in Space Tahiti before the Donbot knows what hit him."
Bender,"Tell me something I don't know, sweetass. Now, let's boogie. We'll be in Space Tahiti before the Donbot knows what hit him.",Donbot,Now I am suspicious.
Donbot,Now I am suspicious.,Bender,"Okay, we finished digging this shallow grave. Can we go now?"
Bender,"Okay, we finished digging this shallow grave. Can we go now?",Fry,(Sobbing): Poor Bender left me one last voicemail before the Robot Mafia buried him in the desert.
Fry,(Sobbing): Poor Bender left me one last voicemail before the Robot Mafia buried him in the desert.,Bender,(On cell phone)
Bender,(On cell phone),Hermes,"Line up, people! Everyone take a shovel and one sixth of the planet. We'll meet back here in 50 years, our bodies broken and our lives wasted."
Hermes,"Line up, people! Everyone take a shovel and one sixth of the planet. We'll meet back here in 50 years, our bodies broken and our lives wasted.",Zoidberg,And you say these are free shovels?
Zoidberg,And you say these are free shovels?,Bender,"I'm back, baby."
Bender,"I'm back, baby.",Fry,Bender! I thought the Robot Mafia killed you.
Fry,Bender! I thought the Robot Mafia killed you.,Bender,"Nah, they just shot us and buried us a few times as a warning."
Bender,"Nah, they just shot us and buried us a few times as a warning.",Fanny,Bender was so brave. He never stopped making out with me the whole time they were shooting us.
Fanny,Bender was so brave. He never stopped making out with me the whole time they were shooting us.,Bender,I sure didn't.
Bender,I sure didn't.,Fanny,"I gotta get back to my husband, baby. Will I see you tonight?"
Fanny,"I gotta get back to my husband, baby. Will I see you tonight?",Bender,Probably not.
Bender,Probably not.,Mr.,"Wong: It's a 14-footer with a clown hazard. What club you recommend, Baggy?"
Mr.,"Wong: It's a 14-footer with a clown hazard. What club you recommend, Baggy?",Baggy,"As on every hole, I suggest the putter."
Baggy,"As on every hole, I suggest the putter.",Fry,"Your golf club sure is classy, Mr. Wong. Naked statue classy."
Fry,"Your golf club sure is classy, Mr. Wong. Naked statue classy.",Amy,"We're lucky even to play as guests, Leela. Dad's club has a very strict No girls allowed policy."
Amy,"We're lucky even to play as guests, Leela. Dad's club has a very strict No girls allowed policy.",Leela,That doesn't seem fair.
Leela,That doesn't seem fair.,Amy,It really is. Everybody knows women don't have the focus to play miniature golf at a professional level.
Amy,It really is. Everybody knows women don't have the focus to play miniature golf at a professional level.,Leela,But that's the best shot of the day!
Leela,But that's the best shot of the day!,Mr.,Wong: Is that my ball? I think that my ball.
Mr.,Wong: Is that my ball? I think that my ball.,Amy,"Pfft, great putt, Dad."
Amy,"Pfft, great putt, Dad.",Mr.,"Wong: Okay, we're done."
Mr.,"Wong: Okay, we're done.",Leela,"Mr. Wong, how do you keep this place so green in the middle of the desert? Doesn't that waste a lot of water?"
Leela,"Mr. Wong, how do you keep this place so green in the middle of the desert? Doesn't that waste a lot of water?",Mr.,Wong
Mr.,Wong,Mr.,"Wong: Oh, yeah, I love miniature golf. Love everything about it, except how damn miniature it is. That's why I'm building the universe's biggest miniature golf course."
Mr.,"Wong: Oh, yeah, I love miniature golf. Love everything about it, except how damn miniature it is. That's why I'm building the universe's biggest miniature golf course.",Mr.,Wong: This the first tee.
Mr.,Wong: This the first tee.,Fry,Where's the hole?
Fry,Where's the hole?,Mr.,Wong It dropped in! Put me down for a two.
Mr.,Wong It dropped in! Put me down for a two.,Mr.,"Wong: Keep in mind, that just the first hole. For full course, we gonna bulldoze this entire arm of the Milky Way."
Mr.,"Wong: Keep in mind, that just the first hole. For full course, we gonna bulldoze this entire arm of the Milky Way.",Leela,What? You're gonna wipe out 10% of the galaxy for a stupid golf course?
Leela,What? You're gonna wipe out 10% of the galaxy for a stupid golf course?,Mr.,"Wong: First of all, it 12% . Second, yes, you betcha."
Mr.,"Wong: First of all, it 12% . Second, yes, you betcha.",Leela,But you have no idea what life forms might be evolving out there.
Leela,But you have no idea what life forms might be evolving out there.,Mr.,Wong: That's exactly why I'm hiring an impartial scientist to perform an environmental survey. That's him in the money shower.
Mr.,Wong: That's exactly why I'm hiring an impartial scientist to perform an environmental survey. That's him in the money shower.,Fry,"(VO): Delivery boy's log. Having fallen asleep on what I thought was the toilet, I awoke to find the environmental survey in progress."
Fry,"(VO): Delivery boy's log. Having fallen asleep on what I thought was the toilet, I awoke to find the environmental survey in progress.",Farnsworth,"Status reports, Science Officer."
Farnsworth,"Status reports, Science Officer.",Bender,Just like Fry on a date.
Bender,Just like Fry on a date.,Fry,Hey!
Fry,Hey!,Leela,"Okay, so we haven't found any life yet. I still don't see why you men can't be happy with regular-sized miniature golf."
Leela,"Okay, so we haven't found any life yet. I still don't see why you men can't be happy with regular-sized miniature golf.",FarnsworthHave,you seen my new 301-inch TV?
FarnsworthHave,you seen my new 301-inch TV?,Announcer,Hypnotoad is brought to you by the MagnaPhallix 302-inch TV. It's bigger!
Announcer,Hypnotoad is brought to you by the MagnaPhallix 302-inch TV. It's bigger!,Bender,"Captain, I'm detecting life on the Spock-o-scope!"
Bender,"Captain, I'm detecting life on the Spock-o-scope!",Leela,It's amazing. It's like a textbook on evolution.
Leela,It's amazing. It's like a textbook on evolution.,Fry,Except in Kansas.
Fry,Except in Kansas.,Bender,But isn't Mr. Wong building the 18th hole here? And the golf pants museum?
Bender,But isn't Mr. Wong building the 18th hole here? And the golf pants museum?,Farnsworth,Indeed so. This whole area will be incinerated when he implodes that sun there into a black hole.
Farnsworth,Indeed so. This whole area will be incinerated when he implodes that sun there into a black hole.,Leela,That beautiful violet star?
Leela,That beautiful violet star?,Farnsworth,It's so you can't keep your ball at the end of the game.
Farnsworth,It's so you can't keep your ball at the end of the game.,Fry,"Yo, that's messed up."
Fry,"Yo, that's messed up.",Leela,"Well, there won't be any imploding once they read our environmental review. Right, Professor?"
Leela,"Well, there won't be any imploding once they read our environmental review. Right, Professor?",Farnsworth,"Ohh, twaddle-squat. There's no scientific consensus that life is important."
Farnsworth,"Ohh, twaddle-squat. There's no scientific consensus that life is important.",Bender,"Yeah. Life, schmife."
Bender,"Yeah. Life, schmife.",Clip,Board Approved for demolition.
Clip,Board Approved for demolition.,Guard,"We're here, Mr. President."
Guard,"We're here, Mr. President.",Richard,Nixon's head: Arroo! Let's play some mini-golf.
Richard,Nixon's head: Arroo! Let's play some mini-golf.,Nixon,"No, no, no, just a light..."
Nixon,"No, no, no, just a light...",Zoidberg,OW!
Zoidberg,OW!,Feministas,Shut up and hear our wisdom. Save the ecosystem. Shut up and hear our wisdom! Save the ecosystem!
Feministas,Shut up and hear our wisdom. Save the ecosystem. Shut up and hear our wisdom! Save the ecosystem!,Nixon,"What gives, Wong? You said no chicks allowed."
Nixon,"What gives, Wong? You said no chicks allowed.",Frida,"We are the Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, and we will not let you...What was it again?"
Frida,"We are the Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, and we will not let you...What was it again?",Leela,"We will not let you implode the violet dwarf star at galactic coordinates 167.84, -58.03, mark 948."
Leela,"We will not let you implode the violet dwarf star at galactic coordinates 167.84, -58.03, mark 948.",Mr.,"Wong: Already approved, you cackling hens. So get out, or I'll have vice-president Agnew's headless body throw you out."
Mr.,"Wong: Already approved, you cackling hens. So get out, or I'll have vice-president Agnew's headless body throw you out.",Leela,I'd like to see him try.
Leela,I'd like to see him try.,Nixon,"Me, too. Should look funny. Sic 'em, Agnew."
Nixon,"Me, too. Should look funny. Sic 'em, Agnew.",Nixon,Runaway golf cart!
Nixon,Runaway golf cart!,Leela,"Look out, Agnew!"
Leela,"Look out, Agnew!",Nixon,Whoa!
Nixon,Whoa!,Mr.,Wong: Aah!
Mr.,Wong: Aah!,Leela,Is... is he okay?
Leela,Is... is he okay?,Mr.,Wong: No pulse.
Mr.,Wong: No pulse.,Nixon,They killed the headless remains of Agnew. Arrest them!
Nixon,They killed the headless remains of Agnew. Arrest them!,Frida,All Feministas she-vacuate the premises. I mean femises.
Frida,All Feministas she-vacuate the premises. I mean femises.,Nixon,"My fellow Earthicans, these eco-crooks will face the maximum sentence. For killing a headless torso, that's six weeks."
Nixon,"My fellow Earthicans, these eco-crooks will face the maximum sentence. For killing a headless torso, that's six weeks.",Bender,"Well, this is embarrassing. Here I've been blabbing on for years about killing all humans, and who actually does something about it? Some chick."
Bender,"Well, this is embarrassing. Here I've been blabbing on for years about killing all humans, and who actually does something about it? Some chick.",Fry,"Leela's not a killer, and she's not some chick. She's the chick I love. And don't tell her I called her a chick, or she'll kill me."
Fry,"Leela's not a killer, and she's not some chick. She's the chick I love. And don't tell her I called her a chick, or she'll kill me.",Frida,(through her megaphone): Everyone stay absolutely quiet!
Frida,(through her megaphone): Everyone stay absolutely quiet!,Feminista,That thing's on. Shh!
Feminista,That thing's on. Shh!,Feminista,Turn it off!
Feminista,Turn it off!,Frida,"(through megaphone): Oh, sorry."
Frida,"(through megaphone): Oh, sorry.",Frida,How do you turn it off?
Frida,How do you turn it off?,Frida,(through megaphone): There. Did that do it?
Frida,(through megaphone): There. Did that do it?,OTHERS,No. Stop it. Shut up.
OTHERS,No. Stop it. Shut up.,Frida,And I think I... Now I got it.
Frida,And I think I... Now I got it.,Leela,Let me give you a hand.
Leela,Let me give you a hand.,Frida,This is awful. I never meant for our protest to have any effect. Now what do we do?
Frida,This is awful. I never meant for our protest to have any effect. Now what do we do?,Trixie,Maybe we should just surrender and serve our six weeks in jail.
Trixie,Maybe we should just surrender and serve our six weeks in jail.,Dixie,"Hey, yeah! We could do each other's toenails and make shivs."
Dixie,"Hey, yeah! We could do each other's toenails and make shivs.",Leela,"That's crazy. We've done nothing wrong, other than killing and dismembering the vice-president. We need to make a choice, sisters. We can either keep pestering criminals like Leo Wong with silly slogans..."
Leela,"That's crazy. We've done nothing wrong, other than killing and dismembering the vice-president. We need to make a choice, sisters. We can either keep pestering criminals like Leo Wong with silly slogans...",ALL,Yeah. Let's do that.
ALL,Yeah. Let's do that.,Leela,"Actually, I meant that to be the less preferable alternative. We can either chant slogans or we can take action."
Leela,"Actually, I meant that to be the less preferable alternative. We can either chant slogans or we can take action.",Dixie,What was the first choice again?
Dixie,What was the first choice again?,Leela,I choose to save the environment by sabotaging Leo Wong's golf course. Who's with me?
Leela,I choose to save the environment by sabotaging Leo Wong's golf course. Who's with me?,Frida,Could we still use our bullhorns?
Frida,Could we still use our bullhorns?,Leela,Absolutely. Bullhorns are a core principle of eco-feminism.
Leela,Absolutely. Bullhorns are a core principle of eco-feminism.,Frida,Then I'm in.
Frida,Then I'm in.,Leela,Who's ready to kick some sweaty man-butt?
Leela,Who's ready to kick some sweaty man-butt?,Dixie,I've got my pointy man-kicking shoes on.
Dixie,I've got my pointy man-kicking shoes on.,Trixie,Those are cute.
Trixie,Those are cute.,Dixie,Aren't they? I got them at Nine West.
Dixie,Aren't they? I got them at Nine West.,Leela,"Simmer down, warriors. Full power to the vagyroscope!"
Leela,"Simmer down, warriors. Full power to the vagyroscope!",Mr.,"Wong: Those dirty rings. I tried soaking them out, even blasting them out."
Mr.,"Wong: Those dirty rings. I tried soaking them out, even blasting them out.",Frida,Are you sure about this? It would be better for propaganda if we weren't using refined sugar.
Frida,Are you sure about this? It would be better for propaganda if we weren't using refined sugar.,Leela,It's okay. The potato we're shoving in the tailpipe is organic.
Leela,It's okay. The potato we're shoving in the tailpipe is organic.,Mr.,"Wong Ooh, and potatoes."
Mr.,"Wong Ooh, and potatoes.",Leela,"Now, unfortunately, the media is going to put a negative spin on this, like when we killed that guy, so to win public support, we'll need a lovable mascot."
Leela,"Now, unfortunately, the media is going to put a negative spin on this, like when we killed that guy, so to win public support, we'll need a lovable mascot.",Zoidberg,"Squirm all you want, you nasty dumpling. One less species for the universe, one more breakfast for..."
Zoidberg,"Squirm all you want, you nasty dumpling. One less species for the universe, one more breakfast for...",Leela,Zoidberg?
Leela,Zoidberg?,Zoidberg,Leela. Me saving things the leech. Not the eating of it.
Zoidberg,Leela. Me saving things the leech. Not the eating of it.,Leela,"Zoidberg, I'm very surprised at you, slightly."
Leela,"Zoidberg, I'm very surprised at you, slightly.",Fry,Psst! Leela.
Fry,Psst! Leela.,Leela,Shh! I'm a fugitive.
Leela,Shh! I'm a fugitive.,Fry,"I know. I miss you so much, Leela, even more than when you were here."
Fry,"I know. I miss you so much, Leela, even more than when you were here.",Leela,"I miss you, too, Fry. And you probably think what I'm doing is wrong. But it's something I really care about..."
Leela,"I miss you, too, Fry. And you probably think what I'm doing is wrong. But it's something I really care about...",Fry,"You don't have to explain, Leela. You're you. That's all I need to know."
Fry,"You don't have to explain, Leela. You're you. That's all I need to know.",Leela,"Goodbye, sweet goofbag."
Leela,"Goodbye, sweet goofbag.",Bender,"I'll miss her, too, buddy. Dibs on her iPod."
Bender,"I'll miss her, too, buddy. Dibs on her iPod.",Zoidberg,Dibs on her- ohh...
Zoidberg,Dibs on her- ohh...,Hutch,"Hey, Fry! Long time, man."
Hutch,"Hey, Fry! Long time, man.",Fry,"Hey, Hutch! What have you been up to?"
Fry,"Hey, Hutch! What have you been up to?",Hutch,"Same old, same old. Searching the dumpsters, protecting my thoughts with tin foil, peeing myself."
Hutch,"Same old, same old. Searching the dumpsters, protecting my thoughts with tin foil, peeing myself.",Fry,"So, what brings you to Earth?"
Fry,"So, what brings you to Earth?",Hutch,"It's top secret. Hey, take off your helmet and I'll think it to you."
Hutch,"It's top secret. Hey, take off your helmet and I'll think it to you.",Fry,Okay. Here goes.
Fry,Okay. Here goes.,Fry,Where are you? And me?
Fry,Where are you? And me?,Hutch,"The Great Hall of the Ancient Legion of Madfellows. Welcome, bro."
Hutch,"The Great Hall of the Ancient Legion of Madfellows. Welcome, bro.",ALL,"Welcome, bro."
ALL,"Welcome, bro.",Hutch,"Sorry I bashed your head in, buddy, but I had to. You see, the fate of the universe depends on you."
Hutch,"Sorry I bashed your head in, buddy, but I had to. You see, the fate of the universe depends on you.",Fry,"Yeah, I get that a lot."
Fry,"Yeah, I get that a lot.",Hutch,The Grand Curator will tell you more.
Hutch,The Grand Curator will tell you more.,Fry,Take me to him.
Fry,Take me to him.,Nine,"Hey, man."
Nine,"Hey, man.",Fry,Hey.
Fry,Hey.,Nine,"So dig this, Fry. Our commune has been monitoring the universe's life energy for, like, a really long time, and we're grokking some super weird junk."
Nine,"So dig this, Fry. Our commune has been monitoring the universe's life energy for, like, a really long time, and we're grokking some super weird junk.",Fry,"Um, I don't mean to be rude, but it's kind of hard to take you seriously when you say junk like grok and junk."
Fry,"Um, I don't mean to be rude, but it's kind of hard to take you seriously when you say junk like grok and junk.",Nine ,What about commune?
Nine ,What about commune?,Fry,"Especially commune. Come on, it's the fate of the universe, puff it up a little. Like you could say your ancient order is sensing deep upheaval in the cosmic life energy field."
Fry,"Especially commune. Come on, it's the fate of the universe, puff it up a little. Like you could say your ancient order is sensing deep upheaval in the cosmic life energy field.",Nine,"The Green Chi generated a great upwelling of life across the cosmos. But then, for reasons unknown..."
Nine,"The Green Chi generated a great upwelling of life across the cosmos. But then, for reasons unknown...",Fry,"Ooh. Reasons unknown. Now that's the sort of hook that grabs the attention of me, the viewer."
Fry,"Ooh. Reasons unknown. Now that's the sort of hook that grabs the attention of me, the viewer.",Nine,For reasons unknown...
Nine,For reasons unknown...,Fry,Nice.
Fry,Nice.,Nine,"...the Chi began to recede, and the diversity of life began to wither. The life forms we know today are but a fraction of a fraction of the magnificence that once existed."
Nine,"...the Chi began to recede, and the diversity of life began to wither. The life forms we know today are but a fraction of a fraction of the magnificence that once existed.",Hutch,"But a bunch of dudes, right, they totally passed this far-out knowledge down through the ages."
Hutch,"But a bunch of dudes, right, they totally passed this far-out knowledge down through the ages.",Nine,"(VO): Some with this knowledge were called prophets, some, fruitcakes. We, the Legion of Madfellows, are their heirs."
Nine,"(VO): Some with this knowledge were called prophets, some, fruitcakes. We, the Legion of Madfellows, are their heirs.",Fry,Neat. What's it got to do with me?
Fry,Neat. What's it got to do with me?,Nine,"Ahh, pooperdoodle! I mean, pardon the omission. You see, after untold eternities, we have sensed a resurgence in the Chi."
Nine,"Ahh, pooperdoodle! I mean, pardon the omission. You see, after untold eternities, we have sensed a resurgence in the Chi.",Fry,"Hey, that's the violet dwarf star that Leela wants to save."
Fry,"Hey, that's the violet dwarf star that Leela wants to save.",Hutch,"Freaking nailed it, corndog."
Hutch,"Freaking nailed it, corndog.",Nine,"We believe this star heralds a new green age, and it's your destiny to be its shepherd and protector."
Nine,"We believe this star heralds a new green age, and it's your destiny to be its shepherd and protector.",Fry,Me? Why?
Fry,Me? Why?,Hutch,"'Cause you got, like, no delta brainwave, man. The Dark Ones can't groove off your thoughts."
Hutch,"'Cause you got, like, no delta brainwave, man. The Dark Ones can't groove off your thoughts.",Fry,Cool. I can't wait to tell Leela.
Fry,Cool. I can't wait to tell Leela.,Nine,"No! If you tell anyone, then their thoughts could be read, and our enemies would know of our existence. For the sake of those you love, you must keep this secret. Do you foot-swear?"
Nine,"No! If you tell anyone, then their thoughts could be read, and our enemies would know of our existence. For the sake of those you love, you must keep this secret. Do you foot-swear?",Fry,"Oh, okay. I foot-swear."
Fry,"Oh, okay. I foot-swear.",Nine,"Good. Now, to save the coming of the green age, you must stop this man."
Nine,"Good. Now, to save the coming of the green age, you must stop this man.",Fry,I know him. Leo Wong. I work with his daughter.
Fry,I know him. Leo Wong. I work with his daughter.,Nine,"Oh, good, that will cut about 15 minutes of explanation. You must gain Wong's confidence, infiltrate his organization and prevent him from destroying the violet dwarf."
Nine,"Oh, good, that will cut about 15 minutes of explanation. You must gain Wong's confidence, infiltrate his organization and prevent him from destroying the violet dwarf.",Mr.,"Wong: Looking for a job, eh?"
Mr.,"Wong: Looking for a job, eh?",Fry,"Yes, sir. Nothing fancy. I'm willing to start at the bottom and infiltrate my way up."
Fry,I'm good at keeping nutcases.,Mr.,Wong: Security guard gotta be tough. This idiot don't look like he could handle those feministas.
Mr.,Wong: Security guard gotta be tough. This idiot don't look like he could handle those feministas.,Fry,I look like an idiot who can handle those feministas.
Fry,I look like an idiot who can handle those feministas.,Mr,Wong (Telepathically): He'll have to do better than that.
Mr,Wong (Telepathically): He'll have to do better than that.,Fry,I'll have to do better than that.
Fry,I'll have to do better than that.,Mr.,Wong: Hmm. You and I think a lot alike. You really think you can stand up to those eco-freakos?
Mr.,Wong: Hmm. You and I think a lot alike. You really think you can stand up to those eco-freakos?,Fry,"Sir, with me around, they'll be the least of your worries."
Fry,"Sir, with me around, they'll be the least of your worries.",Tester,"Stand by, men. And manly aliens. Prepare to test fire King Kong hole."
Tester,"Stand by, men. And manly aliens. Prepare to test fire King Kong hole.",Sal,It workses.
Sal,It workses.,Tester,"Good job, men. And manly aliens. Construction of King Kong hole complete."
Tester,"Good job, men. And manly aliens. Construction of King Kong hole complete.",Frida,"Typical. Always King Kong, never Queen... Quong."
Frida,"Typical. Always King Kong, never Queen... Quong.",Sal,"What are those, hooks? Get out of heres, you hookers. This is my turfs."
Sal,"What are those, hooks? Get out of heres, you hookers. This is my turfs.",Sal,Helpses!
Sal,Helpses!,Leela,"You go, gorilla !"
Leela,"You go, gorilla !",Morbo,Our top story. The string of eco-vandalism that began with a harmless vice-presidential killing has spread across the galaxy.
Morbo,Our top story. The string of eco-vandalism that began with a harmless vice-presidential killing has spread across the galaxy.,Linda,"Why do you always get to read the top story, Morbo?"
Linda,"Why do you always get to read the top story, Morbo?",Linda,Not all reaction to the crime spree has been negative. We spoke with several people who viewed these courageous eco-feminists as heroes.
Linda,Not all reaction to the crime spree has been negative. We spoke with several people who viewed these courageous eco-feminists as heroes.,Petunia,Some way to show I support 'em. Send them some smokes or something.
Petunia,Some way to show I support 'em. Send them some smokes or something.,Linda,So you make more than twice what I do. What? This just in: Root 2 News has received a video communique from the eco-feminists' unknown hideout.
Linda,So you make more than twice what I do. What? This just in: Root 2 News has received a video communique from the eco-feminists' unknown hideout.,Linda,Feministas unite!
Linda,Feministas unite!,Linda,(on the TV)
Linda,(on the TV),Nixon,Incredible. Absolutely incredible. You're telling me this TiVo machine can pause and rewind live TV?
Nixon,Incredible. Absolutely incredible. You're telling me this TiVo machine can pause and rewind live TV?,Mr.,"Wong: These crazy broads gonna ruin me, Nixon. You gotta help me. Send the army or something. Something big that shoots."
Mr.,"Wong: These crazy broads gonna ruin me, Nixon. You gotta help me. Send the army or something. Something big that shoots.",Nixon,"Sir, I don't care if you are my biggest contributor. Our armed forces do not serve your private business interests."
Nixon,"Sir, I don't care if you are my biggest contributor. Our armed forces do not serve your private business interests.",Mr.,"Wong: Sorry, I..."
Mr.,"Wong: Sorry, I...",Nixon,"I'm just yanking your chain, Leo. I'm on it like boring on Gerry Ford."
Nixon,"I'm just yanking your chain, Leo. I'm on it like boring on Gerry Ford.",Zapp,"Brannigan: Zapp Brannigan purporting for duty. For the love of God, Kif, less piccolo, more fife."
Zapp,"Brannigan: Zapp Brannigan purporting for duty. For the love of God, Kif, less piccolo, more fife.",Nixon,"Report, Brannigan."
Nixon,"Report, Brannigan.",Zapp,"Yet, I seemed to have stroked myself upon good luck, for a patriot of the highest order has volunteered to lead us to them."
Zapp,"Yet, I seemed to have stroked myself upon good luck, for a patriot of the highest order has volunteered to lead us to them.",Nixon,These eco-feminists are ruthless criminals who'll stop at nothing to save the environment. I don't see how a bending unit can catch them.
Nixon,These eco-feminists are ruthless criminals who'll stop at nothing to save the environment. I don't see how a bending unit can catch them.,Nixon,"Slush him, Kroker."
Nixon,"Slush him, Kroker.",Zapp,"Bender here has identified the femdito commander as my ex-lover, Turanga Leela, whom I once made love at."
Zapp,"Bender here has identified the femdito commander as my ex-lover, Turanga Leela, whom I once made love at.",Nixon,And he's willing to fink her out for a few simoleons?
Nixon,And he's willing to fink her out for a few simoleons?,Bender,"It's not about the money, Nixon, though I'd like much more. It's 'cause Leela's a threat. A threat to my reputation. She's committed 30 felonies in 12 star systems. If no one stops her, she'll break my record for longest rap sheet."
Bender,"It's not about the money, Nixon, though I'd like much more. It's 'cause Leela's a threat. A threat to my reputation. She's committed 30 felonies in 12 star systems. If no one stops her, she'll break my record for longest rap sheet.",Nixon,"That's a despicable motive, Bender, and I respect it."
Nixon,"That's a despicable motive, Bender, and I respect it.",Bender,"Gracias. Now, I could find Leela, but you'll need to authorize a wiretap."
Bender,"Gracias. Now, I could find Leela, but you'll need to authorize a wiretap.",Nixon,As many as you like.
Nixon,As many as you like.,Bender,I only need one.
Bender,I only need one.,Nixon,Let's call it six.
Nixon,Let's call it six.,Kif,"Question. If you don't know where Leela is, how can you wiretap her?"
Kif,"Question. If you don't know where Leela is, how can you wiretap her?",Bender,"I'm not wiretapping her, Greensleeves. You see, like all women, Leela has one weakness."
Bender,"I'm not wiretapping her, Greensleeves. You see, like all women, Leela has one weakness.",Bender,"Hello, weakness!"
Bender,"Hello, weakness!",Fry,"Hey, Bender, check it out. I'm Leo Wong's new security guard. I got an ID badge and a flashlight, and I ordered this mustache."
Fry,"Hey, Bender, check it out. I'm Leo Wong's new security guard. I got an ID badge and a flashlight, and I ordered this mustache.",Bender,"Neat. Say, speaking of whatever the hell you just said, I need to make a cell phone telephone call. Can borrow your cell phone telephone?"
Bender,"Neat. Say, speaking of whatever the hell you just said, I need to make a cell phone telephone call. Can borrow your cell phone telephone?",Fry,"Okay, but don't restart my Tetris. I was finally about to get one of those pieces that looks like a backwards L."
Fry,"Okay, but don't restart my Tetris. I was finally about to get one of those pieces that looks like a backwards L.",Bender,"Okay, superstud."
Bender,"Okay, superstud.",Mr.,"Wong: Looking good, security. No feministas getting past you."
Mr.,"Wong: Looking good, security. No feministas getting past you.",Fry,"No, sir. Not on my mustache's watch."
Fry,"No, sir. Not on my mustache's watch.",Amy,"Fry, I can't believe you're working with my dad against Leela. How can you claim to be her friend and still want her in jail?"
Amy,"Fry, I can't believe you're working with my dad against Leela. How can you claim to be her friend and still want her in jail?",Fry,"It's a tightrope walk, I won't deny it. It takes the kind of multi-sided thinking your dad's so brilliant at."
Fry,"It's a tightrope walk, I won't deny it. It takes the kind of multi-sided thinking your dad's so brilliant at.",Amy,You mean being two-faced?
Amy,You mean being two-faced?,Mr.,Wong: Don't mind cranky-pants here. She been cranky ever since she was a fat little girl.
Mr.,Wong: Don't mind cranky-pants here. She been cranky ever since she was a fat little girl.,Amy,Dad!
Amy,Dad!,Mr.,"Wong: Can I be brutally honest, Fry? I always wanted a son."
Mr.,"Wong: Can I be brutally honest, Fry? I always wanted a son.",Fry,"That hurt, but I can take it."
Fry,"That hurt, but I can take it.",Amy,I knew you wanted a son! Why do you think I became a miniature golf champion? Why do you think I wear these stupid boys' sweat suits?
Amy,I knew you wanted a son! Why do you think I became a miniature golf champion? Why do you think I wear these stupid boys' sweat suits?,Mr.,Wong
Mr.,Wong,Fry,"Now, sir, in fairness, Amy's butt is actually pretty hot."
Fry,"Now, sir, in fairness, Amy's butt is actually pretty hot.",Amy,What is it with you men? Why does everything revolve around my butt?
Amy,What is it with you men? Why does everything revolve around my butt?,Mr.,Wong
Mr.,Wong,Fry,Sorry.
Fry,Sorry.,Amy,That's it! Why don't you just adopt Fry and make him the son you never had? That'll replace the daughter you don't have anymore!
Amy,That's it! Why don't you just adopt Fry and make him the son you never had? That'll replace the daughter you don't have anymore!,Bender,Whoa! What's with Big Butt?
Bender,Whoa! What's with Big Butt?,Mr.,Wong: She just hungry.
Mr.,Wong: She just hungry.,Bender,"Here you go, Fry."
Bender,"Here you go, Fry.",Fry,Thanks.
Fry,Thanks.,Bender,"Oh! FYI, I dropped that Tetris piece in the wrong place and ended the game."
Bender,"Oh! FYI, I dropped that Tetris piece in the wrong place and ended the game.",Fry,No!
Fry,No!,Frida,Take your mands off of me!
Frida,Take your mands off of me!,Fry,I'm on your side.
Fry,I'm on your side.,Frida,Don't shush me.
Frida,Don't shush me.,Fry,"Please, can you take a message to Leela?"
Fry,"Please, can you take a message to Leela?",Frida,What is it?
Frida,What is it?,Fry,"Just say her sweet goofbag is working to save the violet dwarf star, just like she is."
Fry,"Just say her sweet goofbag is working to save the violet dwarf star, just like she is.",Frida,"Very well, I'll fem-municate your man-formation."
Frida,"Very well, I'll fem-municate your man-formation.",Fry,Just tell her.
Fry,Just tell her.,Farnsworth,"Well, this is it, old friends. Planet Express is done for, what with our delivery crew missing and the abysmal sales of Tickle Me Bender."
Farnsworth,"Well, this is it, old friends. Planet Express is done for, what with our delivery crew missing and the abysmal sales of Tickle Me Bender.",Bender,"Doll Quit touching my junk, pervert!"
Bender,"Doll Quit touching my junk, pervert!",Farnsworth,Hold out your hands and I'll remove your career chips.
Farnsworth,Hold out your hands and I'll remove your career chips.,Zoidberg,When will it end?
Zoidberg,When will it end?,Hermes,"Shouldn't you get that, Professor?"
Hermes,"Shouldn't you get that, Professor?",Farnsworth,Hello?
Farnsworth,Hello?,Mr.,"Wong: Professor, old buddy, I'm gonna blow up the violet dwarf star. So I need you deliver billion-mile security fence to keep out protesters. Dirty business. Lot of money. You corrupt enough?"
Mr.,"Wong: Professor, old buddy, I'm gonna blow up the violet dwarf star. So I need you deliver billion-mile security fence to keep out protesters. Dirty business. Lot of money. You corrupt enough?",Farnsworth,"Good news, crybabies! We're back in business."
Farnsworth,"Good news, crybabies! We're back in business.",Hermes,"Sweet kookaburra of Edinburgh, Professor. You sure you know how to fly this thing?"
Hermes,"Sweet kookaburra of Edinburgh, Professor. You sure you know how to fly this thing?",Farnsworth,"I invented it, didn't I? You wouldn't ask Thomas Edison whether he knew how to use a sexmatron."
Farnsworth,"I invented it, didn't I? You wouldn't ask Thomas Edison whether he knew how to use a sexmatron.",Zoidberg,"The Feministas, probably."
Zoidberg,"The Feministas, probably.",Leela,Halt! What are you doing in this parallelogram of space?
Leela,Halt! What are you doing in this parallelogram of space?,Zoidberg,Amy?
Zoidberg,Amy?,Hermes,LaBarbara?
Hermes,LaBarbara?,LaBarbara,"That's right, husband. From now on, you make your own Manwiches."
LaBarbara,"That's right, husband. From now on, you make your own Manwiches.",Leela,"Under the articles of the confemiracy, we hereby wo-mandeer this ship."
Leela,"Under the articles of the confemiracy, we hereby wo-mandeer this ship.",Zoidberg,"Oh, no, you don't. It's three against three."
Zoidberg,"Oh, no, you don't. It's three against three.",Mrs.,Wong: That was the greatest play I ever saw. It must have had 20 acts.
Mrs.,Wong: That was the greatest play I ever saw. It must have had 20 acts.,Leela,"(over Megaphone): We installed your fence, Leo Wong."
Leela,"(over Megaphone): We installed your fence, Leo Wong.",Linda,Should we shout a clever slogan?
Linda,Should we shout a clever slogan?,Leela,"You mean something like, The best defense is a good fence?"
Leela,"You mean something like, The best defense is a good fence?",Linda,"Yeah, something like that, only funny."
Linda,"Yeah, something like that, only funny.",Leela,"I wish we could, but our chief slogan writer is back at the Honeybun Hideout."
Leela,"I wish we could, but our chief slogan writer is back at the Honeybun Hideout.",Frida,"That reminds me, I've got to tell Leela about that weirdo who wants to save the violet dwarf."
Frida,"That reminds me, I've got to tell Leela about that weirdo who wants to save the violet dwarf.","Mysterious,","Sinister Voice: So, the Legion of Madfellows has a new pawn, eh?"
"Mysterious,","Sinister Voice: So, the Legion of Madfellows has a new pawn, eh?",Frida,"Is somebody here? If you're the DSL guy, you're two days late."
Frida,"Is somebody here? If you're the DSL guy, you're two days late.","Mysterious,",Sinister Voice: Who gave you that message for Leela?
"Mysterious,",Sinister Voice: Who gave you that message for Leela?,Frida,I don't know his name.
Frida,I don't know his name.,"Mysterious,",Sinister Voice: Then you are of no use to the Dark Ones!
"Mysterious,",Sinister Voice: Then you are of no use to the Dark Ones!,Frida,"Long lost brother, avenge my death."
Frida,"Long lost brother, avenge my death.",Mysterious,"Voice: Where are your crappy rhymes now, Frida Waterfall?"
Mysterious,"Voice: Where are your crappy rhymes now, Frida Waterfall?",Fry,"My dirty, shifty friend?"
Fry,"My dirty, shifty friend?",Hutch,"Hey, Fry, long time."
Hutch,"Hey, Fry, long time.",Hutch,"Welcome back to the Legion of Madfellows, man."
Hutch,"Welcome back to the Legion of Madfellows, man.",Fry,"Why'd you bonk me, you idiot? You could have just asked me to come with you. And where are we? This doesn't look like your regular dumpster."
Fry,"Why'd you bonk me, you idiot? You could have just asked me to come with you. And where are we? This doesn't look like your regular dumpster.",Nine,"All in good time! I guess now is a good time. We are on Mars, in a forgotten cavern abandoned by the native Martians a million years ago."
Nine,"All in good time! I guess now is a good time. We are on Mars, in a forgotten cavern abandoned by the native Martians a million years ago.",Fry,"Actually, it was five years ago. I remember 'cause they washed my socks."
Fry,"Actually, it was five years ago. I remember 'cause they washed my socks.",Nine,"You have done well, Fry. You have ingratiated yourself with Leo Wong."
Nine,"You have done well, Fry. You have ingratiated yourself with Leo Wong.",Fry,"Yup, I kissed his ass from cheek to shining cheek. So, what do I do next?"
Fry,"Yup, I kissed his ass from cheek to shining cheek. So, what do I do next?",Nine,"As Wong security chief, you will be on hand when he attempts to destroy the violet dwarf. You must not let that happen."
Nine,"As Wong security chief, you will be on hand when he attempts to destroy the violet dwarf. You must not let that happen.",Fry,Must let happen.
Fry,Must let happen.,Nine,Not happen!
Nine,Not happen!,Fry,Must let occur.
Fry,Must let occur.,Nine,Let me tell you a story. A story of two alien species so ancient that compared to them the human race is a mere college senior! On a distant planetoid they evolved to cooperate in their quest to survive.
Nine,Let me tell you a story. A story of two alien species so ancient that compared to them the human race is a mere college senior! On a distant planetoid they evolved to cooperate in their quest to survive.,Fry,"Cooperation, because life is a team sport."
Fry,"Cooperation, because life is a team sport.",Nine,"But, over time, one species evolved a better strategy, and an evolutionary arms race began."
Nine,"But, over time, one species evolved a better strategy, and an evolutionary arms race began.",Nine,That concludes the audio-visual portion of our head-clonk and lecture.
Nine,That concludes the audio-visual portion of our head-clonk and lecture.,Fry,"Wait, what happened to the snakes and the frogs? I need to know!"
Fry,"Wait, what happened to the snakes and the frogs? I need to know!",Nine,"The frogs, or possibly the snakes, evolved into vicious killing machines, honed by the merciless forces of natural selection and intelligent design. We call these the Dark Ones!"
Nine,"The frogs, or possibly the snakes, evolved into vicious killing machines, honed by the merciless forces of natural selection and intelligent design. We call these the Dark Ones!",Nine,"These evil creatures preyed on all life, driving species after species to extinction. Meanwhile, however, the second species evolved to fend off the Dark Ones, befriending and protecting all other living things."
Nine,"These evil creatures preyed on all life, driving species after species to extinction. Meanwhile, however, the second species evolved to fend off the Dark Ones, befriending and protecting all other living things.",Fry,Even Céline Dion?
Fry,Even Céline Dion?,Nine,"Probably. We call these noble beings the Encyclopods, because their DNA incorporates the DNA of every endangered species they encountered, so they can recreate them if they go extinct."
Nine,"Probably. We call these noble beings the Encyclopods, because their DNA incorporates the DNA of every endangered species they encountered, so they can recreate them if they go extinct.",Fry,"Just as a pillow, a wig and a corncob pipe can be used to recreate my old girlfriend!"
Fry,"Just as a pillow, a wig and a corncob pipe can be used to recreate my old girlfriend!",Nine,Bingo.
Nine,Bingo.,Transition,"Announcer 2: Meanwhile, at the Honeybun Hideout."
Transition,"Announcer 2: Meanwhile, at the Honeybun Hideout.",LaBarbara,There! Now you know how it feels to be locked up in a go-go cage.
LaBarbara,There! Now you know how it feels to be locked up in a go-go cage.,Hermes,What the hell are you talking about?
Hermes,What the hell are you talking about?,LaBarbara,Shut your man-hole.
LaBarbara,Shut your man-hole.,Hermes,I feel dirty.
Hermes,I feel dirty.,Leela,"Are you sure Fry is working for your father? It just doesn't seem like him to be so evil, or to hold down a job."
Leela,"Are you sure Fry is working for your father? It just doesn't seem like him to be so evil, or to hold down a job.",Amy,"It's true, Leela. Cross My Heart bra and swear to Goddess."
Amy,"It's true, Leela. Cross My Heart bra and swear to Goddess.",Leela,"Oh, no! Frida's been murdered!"
Leela,"Oh, no! Frida's been murdered!",LaBarbara,Sweet she-cattle of Seattle!
LaBarbara,Sweet she-cattle of Seattle!,Hermes,"(from off screen): Not your strong suit, woman."
Hermes,"(from off screen): Not your strong suit, woman.",Amy,Who could have done this?
Amy,Who could have done this?,Leela,Your dad? Nixon?
Leela,Your dad? Nixon?,Amy,Fry?
Amy,Fry?,Leela,So just stay calm while I call Fry.
Leela,So just stay calm while I call Fry.,Fry,So where are the Encyclopods and the Dark Ones now?
Fry,So where are the Encyclopods and the Dark Ones now?,Nine,"Many more died out, like the Encyclopods. But, and this is the great secret of our age, we believe they left an egg behind."
Nine,"Many more died out, like the Encyclopods. But, and this is the great secret of our age, we believe they left an egg behind.",Fry,Is it edible?
Fry,Is it edible?,Nine,"We're not gonna eat it! Not unless we find a second one. No, Fry, we intend to hatch it!"
Nine,"We're not gonna eat it! Not unless we find a second one. No, Fry, we intend to hatch it!",Hutch,And that's where you come in.
Hutch,And that's where you come in.,Fry,And here I am.
Fry,And here I am.,Nine,"At long last the tide of Chi has returned, and its nourishing flow has awakened the dormant egg."
Nine,"At long last the tide of Chi has returned, and its nourishing flow has awakened the dormant egg.",Fry,That's good.
Fry,That's good.,Hutch,"It's better than good. It's better. With its massive stash of DNA, the Encyclopod can reconstruct every species that ever went extinct."
Hutch,"It's better than good. It's better. With its massive stash of DNA, the Encyclopod can reconstruct every species that ever went extinct.",Nine,"Imagine, all the animals that failed evolution's test, alive again! The dodo bird, the brittle-klutz, the striped biologist-taunter."
Nine,"Imagine, all the animals that failed evolution's test, alive again! The dodo bird, the brittle-klutz, the striped biologist-taunter.",Fry,"So, where is this egg?"
Fry,"So, where is this egg?",Nine,In the violet dwarf star system.
Nine,In the violet dwarf star system.,Fry,And what does it look like?
Fry,And what does it look like?,Nine,A violet dwarf star!
Nine,A violet dwarf star!,Fry,"You mean, the whole star is a single... Whoa! Sci-fi."
Fry,"You mean, the whole star is a single... Whoa! Sci-fi.",Nine,"Alas! Even now, a Dark One is headed to the star to ensure its destruction."
Nine,"Alas! Even now, a Dark One is headed to the star to ensure its destruction.",Fry,Dang! So what does this Dark One look like?
Fry,Dang! So what does this Dark One look like?,Nine,We don't know. I admit it's a horrifically grave situation.
Nine,We don't know. I admit it's a horrifically grave situation.,Hutch,"Don't sugarcoat it, Nine. The Dark Ones have been evolving so long, it could be anything or anyone. Or anybody."
Hutch,"Don't sugarcoat it, Nine. The Dark Ones have been evolving so long, it could be anything or anyone. Or anybody.",Fry,"You mean, like, people?"
Fry,"You mean, like, people?",Hutch,"Any people. It will kill the egg, and every dude, woman and child who knows about it."
Hutch,"Any people. It will kill the egg, and every dude, woman and child who knows about it.",Nine,"Even our crazy caps will be useless at close range. That's why only you, with your defective unreadable brainwave, may be able to thwart them and usher in a new green age of wonder and..."
Nine,"Even our crazy caps will be useless at close range. That's why only you, with your defective unreadable brainwave, may be able to thwart them and usher in a new green age of wonder and...",Fry,You're on Fry-time. Leela! Did you get my message?
Fry,You're on Fry-time. Leela! Did you get my message?,Leela,What message?
Leela,What message?,Fry,Didn't you see Frida Waterfall?
Fry,Didn't you see Frida Waterfall?,LeelaSo,you did kill Frida Waterfall?
LeelaSo,you did kill Frida Waterfall?,Fry,"Well, I can't explain anything, but we should talk anyway. Where are you?"
Fry,"Well, I can't explain anything, but we should talk anyway. Where are you?",Leela,"Oh, no. I'm not gonna expose the Honeybun Hideout. Where are you?"
Leela,"Oh, no. I'm not gonna expose the Honeybun Hideout. Where are you?",Fry,Near the Keeler Crater on Mars. Do you know it?
Fry,Near the Keeler Crater on Mars. Do you know it?,Leela,"I, I, uh... I think I read about it."
Leela,"I, I, uh... I think I read about it.",Leela,I'll meet you at the south rim in one hour. No moustaches.
Leela,I'll meet you at the south rim in one hour. No moustaches.,Zapp,"Kif, set coordinates, 36-24-36. AKA, Leela."
Zapp,"Kif, set coordinates, 36-24-36. AKA, Leela.",Fry,Ten minutes late. Ain't that just like a womanista?
Fry,Ten minutes late. Ain't that just like a womanista?,Leela,Psst. Are you alone?
Leela,Psst. Are you alone?,Fry,"Of course, don't you trust me?"
Fry,"Of course, don't you trust me?",Zapp,"(over PA): There's no escape, Leela. If you surrender, wave your shirt in the air."
Zapp,"(over PA): There's no escape, Leela. If you surrender, wave your shirt in the air.",Leela,"Fry, you traitor!"
Leela,"Fry, you traitor!",Amy,"(over PA): Hop onto the magnet, Leela!"
Amy,"(over PA): Hop onto the magnet, Leela!",Leela,"I can't believe you ratted me out, Fry."
Leela,"I can't believe you ratted me out, Fry.",Fry,"I'm not a rat, I swear. If I'm any rodent, it's the loyal capybara, king of the rats! No, wait."
Fry,"I'm not a rat, I swear. If I'm any rodent, it's the loyal capybara, king of the rats! No, wait.",Linda,"This just in, we are about to get our asses blown off. LaBarbara?"
Linda,"This just in, we are about to get our asses blown off. LaBarbara?",Amy,"Stay strong, ladies. We can lose them in the giant miniature golf course."
Amy,"Stay strong, ladies. We can lose them in the giant miniature golf course.",Fry,But the course isn't finished. And there's no girls allowed.
Fry,But the course isn't finished. And there's no girls allowed.,Zapp,"So, they want to play mini golf, eh? Two can play at that game. Or even four, depending on the number of ball colors available."
Zapp,"So, they want to play mini golf, eh? Two can play at that game. Or even four, depending on the number of ball colors available.",Zapp,I choose pink.
Zapp,I choose pink.,Kif,"That's their color, sir."
Kif,"That's their color, sir.",Zapp,The hell it is.
Zapp,The hell it is.,Leela,They're gaining on us. We need a birdie on the windmill hole.
Leela,They're gaining on us. We need a birdie on the windmill hole.,Amy,Wait. Wait. Drop the boot!
Amy,Wait. Wait. Drop the boot!,Kif,"Sir, at our present speed, the computer predicts a 100% chance we'll be sliced in half. We'll never make it."
Kif,"Sir, at our present speed, the computer predicts a 100% chance we'll be sliced in half. We'll never make it.",Zapp,"Not with that attitude, we won't. Same speed ahead!"
Zapp,"Not with that attitude, we won't. Same speed ahead!",Zapp,"We made it through, Kif. How many men did we lose?"
Zapp,"We made it through, Kif. How many men did we lose?",Kif,All of them.
Kif,All of them.,Zapp,"Well, at least they won't have to mourn each other. Seal the airlocks, and draw the shades. Resume shooting."
Zapp,"Well, at least they won't have to mourn each other. Seal the airlocks, and draw the shades. Resume shooting.",Fry,"Oh, no! The gorilla! That's a par-four!"
Fry,"Oh, no! The gorilla! That's a par-four!",Leela,The mouth's too dangerous. I'm going for the nose.
Leela,The mouth's too dangerous. I'm going for the nose.,Amy,Don't be a sucker. You won't come out anywhere near the hole. You need to aim for the jaws just when they start to close.
Amy,Don't be a sucker. You won't come out anywhere near the hole. You need to aim for the jaws just when they start to close.,Leela,Start to close? Are you out of your...
Leela,Start to close? Are you out of your...,Leela,We made it!
Leela,We made it!,Zapp,Captaining 101 . Go for the nose.
Zapp,Captaining 101 . Go for the nose.,Kif,You can't sue the military.
Kif,You can't sue the military.,Bender,I'm okay then.
Bender,I'm okay then.,Zapp,Damage report.
Zapp,Damage report.,Kif,"We lost all remaining food and oxygen, Captain. As well as our XM Radio antenna."
Kif,"We lost all remaining food and oxygen, Captain. As well as our XM Radio antenna.",Zapp,"Then this chase is over. Kif, set course for the nearest XM repair facility. Meanwhile, we shall sing top hits from the '80s."
Zapp,"Then this chase is over. Kif, set course for the nearest XM repair facility. Meanwhile, we shall sing top hits from the '80s.",Kif,"Which '80s, sir?"
Kif,"Which '80s, sir?",ZappAnd,I'm hungry like the wolf.
ZappAnd,I'm hungry like the wolf.,Hermes,The shot was too good! We're jamming straight for the hole.
Hermes,The shot was too good! We're jamming straight for the hole.,Zoidberg,"We're gonna crash, even."
Zoidberg,"We're gonna crash, even.",Amy,"Shmeesh, shmell out, shmeverybody. It's a wormhole hole."
Amy,"Shmeesh, shmell out, shmeverybody. It's a wormhole hole.",Farnsworth,...nother part of the universe.
Farnsworth,...nother part of the universe.,Amy,We made it!
Amy,We made it!,Farnsworth,"Uh, whaa..."
Farnsworth,"Uh, whaa...",Leela,Crud nuggets! We de-spaced right next to the Nimbus.
Leela,Crud nuggets! We de-spaced right next to the Nimbus.,Zoidberg,"Just when you think the chase is over, it gets twice as exciting!"
Zoidberg,"Just when you think the chase is over, it gets twice as exciting!",Bender,"Hey, look at that."
Bender,"Hey, look at that.",Zapp,"Well, well, well. My bloodhound-like instincts must have hunted them down while my other parts were throbbing to Duran Duran."
Zapp,"Well, well, well. My bloodhound-like instincts must have hunted them down while my other parts were throbbing to Duran Duran.",Kif,Shall I initiate a pointless and potentially fatal pursuit?
Kif,Shall I initiate a pointless and potentially fatal pursuit?,Zapp,Make it so.
Zapp,Make it so.,Bender,"It's gonna be fun on the bun, in space."
Bender,"It's gonna be fun on the bun, in space.",Leela,Look! The asteroid. Now it's crawling with life. Like Zoidberg's sandals!
Leela,Look! The asteroid. Now it's crawling with life. Like Zoidberg's sandals!,Fry,Wow! It's incredible.
Fry,Wow! It's incredible.,Leela,But it'll be destroyed when Leo Wong blows up the violet dwarf. So why are you helping him?
Leela,But it'll be destroyed when Leo Wong blows up the violet dwarf. So why are you helping him?,Fry,"I can't tell you, Leela. You just have to trust me."
Fry,"I can't tell you, Leela. You just have to trust me.",Leela,"You keep saying that, but you have to give me something to go on or I..."
Leela,"You keep saying that, but you have to give me something to go on or I...",Planet,Express Ship Alarm: Out of whale oil. Out of whale oil.
Planet,Express Ship Alarm: Out of whale oil. Out of whale oil.,Leela,The out-of-fuel indicator. It's indicating.
Leela,The out-of-fuel indicator. It's indicating.,Zoidberg,"Say, what's that violet-colored dwarf-like star thing we're drifting into?"
Zoidberg,"Say, what's that violet-colored dwarf-like star thing we're drifting into?",Leela,The violet dwarf star!
Leela,The violet dwarf star!,Fry,"Of course. The gorilla was the 18th hole, so we're headed into the ball return."
Fry,"Of course. The gorilla was the 18th hole, so we're headed into the ball return.",Zoidberg,"Aye, what else now can go wrong?"
Zoidberg,"Aye, what else now can go wrong?",Zapp,"on the monitor): Ladies, you're under arrest. Prepare to be boarded again and again."
Zapp,"on the monitor): Ladies, you're under arrest. Prepare to be boarded again and again.",Leela,Don't give up yet. I've got one more trick up my sleeve.
Leela,Don't give up yet. I've got one more trick up my sleeve.,Amy,That's exactly the number we need.
Amy,That's exactly the number we need.,Zapp,"Ah, the fairer sex."
Zapp,"Ah, the fairer sex.",Zapp,"Something's very wrong here, and yet a little bit right."
Zapp,"Something's very wrong here, and yet a little bit right.",Leela,(off-screen)
Leela,(off-screen),Bender,(off-screen)
Bender,(off-screen),Leela,Bender?
Leela,Bender?,Bender,All two tons of me.
Bender,All two tons of me.,Bailiff,"Oye, oye, oye. All rise for the honorable Chief Justice D-O-G-G and the Associate Justices."
Bailiff,"Oye, oye, oye. All rise for the honorable Chief Justice D-O-G-G and the Associate Justices.",Judge,"Dogg: Yo. Seat it or beat it. The charges against y'all femditos is murder, mayhem, vandalism, kidnapping and resisting arrest. Damn! The big five. You may now make your opening what you got to say for yourselves."
Judge,"Dogg: Yo. Seat it or beat it. The charges against y'all femditos is murder, mayhem, vandalism, kidnapping and resisting arrest. Damn! The big five. You may now make your opening what you got to say for yourselves.",Leela,"I mean, may it plizzle the cozizzle."
Leela,"I mean, may it plizzle the cozizzle.",Judge,Dogg: Proceed.
Judge,Dogg: Proceed.,Leela,"These charges are outrageous. Our only goal was to save a rare violet star and its precious ecosystem. If protecting the environment is a crime, then..."
Leela,"These charges are outrageous. Our only goal was to save a rare violet star and its precious ecosystem. If protecting the environment is a crime, then...",Judge,Dogg: Protecting the environment is a crime.
Bailiff,Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?,Nixon,"I... Well, now, I... Am I under oath when I take the oath?"
Nixon,"I... Well, now, I... Am I under oath when I take the oath?",Ruth,Bader Ginsburg's head: Can the witness identify the feminista leader?
Ruth,Bader Ginsburg's head: Can the witness identify the feminista leader?,Bender,"That's her right there, with the I'm gonna kill you Bender look in her eye."
Bender,"That's her right there, with the I'm gonna kill you Bender look in her eye.",Antonin,"Scalia's Head: Hey, aren't you the robot who robbed me at gunpoint last year?"
Antonin,"Scalia's Head: Hey, aren't you the robot who robbed me at gunpoint last year?",Bender,"No further answers, Your Honor."
Bender,"No further answers, Your Honor.",Fry,"Please, Justice Dogg, Leela and her friends are completely innocent."
Fry,"Please, Justice Dogg, Leela and her friends are completely innocent.",Judge,Dogg: Hold up. Were you or were you not abducted by these hoes?
Judge,Dogg: Hold up. Were you or were you not abducted by these hoes?,Fry,"Well, abducted is such an ugly word."
Fry,"Well, abducted is such an ugly word.",Clarence,"Thomas' head: Mr. Wong, the court cannot compel you to testify against your own daughter."
Clarence,"Thomas' head: Mr. Wong, the court cannot compel you to testify against your own daughter.",Mr.,"Wong: No. No, I want to. Also, I got something to say about my wife."
Mr.,"Wong: No. No, I want to. Also, I got something to say about my wife.",Judge,"Dogg: Aw, yeah. Having heard some of the testimony over these jams I've been listening to, me and my crew will now kick it in the mix."
Judge,"Dogg: Aw, yeah. Having heard some of the testimony over these jams I've been listening to, me and my crew will now kick it in the mix.",Judge,"Dogg Court. Bailiff, drop it like it's legal precedent."
Judge,"Dogg Court. Bailiff, drop it like it's legal precedent.",Bailiff,"In the matter of Leo Wong v. The Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, four justices vote to convict, five to acquit."
Bailiff,"In the matter of Leo Wong v. The Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, four justices vote to convict, five to acquit.",Antonin,"Scalia's Head: However, since the vote was strictly along gender lines and the female justices' votes only count half, you are hereby found guilty."
Antonin,"Scalia's Head: However, since the vote was strictly along gender lines and the female justices' votes only count half, you are hereby found guilty.",Ruth,"Ginsberg's Head: It's a humiliating and biased system, but it works."
Ruth,"Ginsberg's Head: It's a humiliating and biased system, but it works.",Judge,Dogg Peace.
Judge,Dogg Peace.,Warden,Ladies! Welcome to Hell.
Warden,Ladies! Welcome to Hell.,Petunia,Beats Nutley on a Saturday night.
Petunia,Beats Nutley on a Saturday night.,Warden,"This is a privately-owned for-profit prison and I run a tight, cheap ship! I've done this by cutting costs everywhere, especially on punishment. I rely on you inmates to make prison unpleasant for yourselves. You're encouraged to sexually harass new prisoners, organize no-holds-barred catfights and maintain poor hygiene."
Warden,"This is a privately-owned for-profit prison and I run a tight, cheap ship! I've done this by cutting costs everywhere, especially on punishment. I rely on you inmates to make prison unpleasant for yourselves. You're encouraged to sexually harass new prisoners, organize no-holds-barred catfights and maintain poor hygiene.",Amy,"Try and make me, copper."
Amy,"Try and make me, copper.",Warden,Taste the lash of my 99-cent-store nightstick!
Warden,Taste the lash of my 99-cent-store nightstick!,Mr.,"Wong: Yee-ha! With the feministas in jail, it full speed ahead. You and me, Fry. We implode the violet dwarf star tomorrow. Ka-boom-boom!"
Mr.,"Wong: Yee-ha! With the feministas in jail, it full speed ahead. You and me, Fry. We implode the violet dwarf star tomorrow. Ka-boom-boom!",Fry,You and me?
Fry,You and me?,Mr.,Wong: Yeah.
Mr.,Wong: Yeah.,Fry,Tomorrow?
Fry,Tomorrow?,Mr.,Wong: Tomorrow.
Mr.,Wong: Tomorrow.,Fry,Ka-boom?
Fry,Ka-boom?,Mr.,Wong: Ka-boom-boom!
Mr.,Wong: Ka-boom-boom!,Fry,"Okay, Leo Wong's about to destroy the violet dwarf. So, whatever I need to know to stop him, tell me now."
Fry,"Okay, Leo Wong's about to destroy the violet dwarf. So, whatever I need to know to stop him, tell me now.",Nine,"Alas! Stopping Wong isn't the only problem. One of the Dark Ones will try to stop you from stopping him. So, you must stop it from stopping you from stopping him."
Nine,"Alas! Stopping Wong isn't the only problem. One of the Dark Ones will try to stop you from stopping him. So, you must stop it from stopping you from stopping him.",Fry,But how can I stop it stop me stop him?
Fry,But how can I stop it stop me stop him?,Nine,"Stop it! Behold, the Omega Device."
Nine,"Stop it! Behold, the Omega Device.",Fry,That's it? The name Omega Device sort of conjured up something cooler looking. Not that I'm disappointed or anything.
Fry,That's it? The name Omega Device sort of conjured up something cooler looking. Not that I'm disappointed or anything.,Nine,The important thing is what's inside.
Nine,The important thing is what's inside.,Fry,What does that look like?
Fry,What does that look like?,Hutch,"No one knows, man. It was invented by a blind inventor, and the one dude he described it to was deaf."
Hutch,"No one knows, man. It was invented by a blind inventor, and the one dude he described it to was deaf.",Mad,Fellow: So the legend goes.
Mad,Fellow: So the legend goes.,Nine,"When activated, the device will emit a localized blast of delta-band noise to momentarily disable the Dark One."
Nine,"When activated, the device will emit a localized blast of delta-band noise to momentarily disable the Dark One.",Fry,Like farting in a tent?
Fry,Like farting in a tent?,Nine,"No, an elevator. Which is why you must strike the enemy at point blank range!"
Nine,"No, an elevator. Which is why you must strike the enemy at point blank range!",Fry,"But the Dark One could look like anything or anyone, right?"
Fry,"But the Dark One could look like anything or anyone, right?",Hutch,Or anywhere.
Hutch,Or anywhere.,Fry,"So, what's your plan to recognize it?"
Fry,"So, what's your plan to recognize it?",Nine,We don't have one.
Nine,We don't have one.,Fry,Got it.
Fry,Got it.,Hutch,"Oh, man! Anyone got some tape or some gum?"
Hutch,"Oh, man! Anyone got some tape or some gum?",Nine,"As my colleague indicated, the plan cannot come from us, Fry. We were counting on you and your unreadable brain to come up with something."
Nine,"As my colleague indicated, the plan cannot come from us, Fry. We were counting on you and your unreadable brain to come up with something.",Fry,That was a mistake.
Fry,That was a mistake.,Nine,I see that now.
Nine,I see that now.,Hutch,"Freaky thing is, the Dark Ones' thoughts are unreadable, just like yours."
Hutch,"Freaky thing is, the Dark Ones' thoughts are unreadable, just like yours.",Nine,"Yes, if we dared unwrap our heads, we could easily locate the one other being whose mind we can't read. The Dark One!"
Nine,"Yes, if we dared unwrap our heads, we could easily locate the one other being whose mind we can't read. The Dark One!",Hutch,But then the Dark One would read our minds and crush them like blood pumpkins.
Hutch,But then the Dark One would read our minds and crush them like blood pumpkins.,Fry,Wait. I can read minds and my mind can't be read. I have a plan.
Fry,Wait. I can read minds and my mind can't be read. I have a plan.,Nine,"Great. Whatever it is, don't tell us."
Nine,"Great. Whatever it is, don't tell us.",Hutch,Wait. Fry can read minds and his mind can't be read. So he can safely scan for the Dark One...
Hutch,Wait. Fry can read minds and his mind can't be read. So he can safely scan for the Dark One...,Nine,Shut up! Shut up!
Nine,Shut up! Shut up!,Hutch,...whose mind can't be read...
Hutch,...whose mind can't be read...,"Mysterious,","Sinister Voice: Leela, time is running out. We must get to the violet star."
"Mysterious,","Sinister Voice: Leela, time is running out. We must get to the violet star.",Leela,"Okay, okay. Shut up, already."
Leela,"Okay, okay. Shut up, already.",Dixie,"Nobody's talking, Leela."
Dixie,"Nobody's talking, Leela.",Trixie,We're just painting each other's toenails with rat blood.
Trixie,We're just painting each other's toenails with rat blood.,Warden,"Lights out, ladies! Those compact fluorescent bulbs waste pennies a day."
Warden,"Lights out, ladies! Those compact fluorescent bulbs waste pennies a day.",Leela,"Okay, feministas, all clear."
Leela,"Okay, feministas, all clear.",Amy,Whoa!
Amy,Whoa!,Linda,We now go live to Leela with the escape plan. Leela?
Linda,We now go live to Leela with the escape plan. Leela?,Leela,"Thanks, Linda. Now we're in here because we tried to save endangered wildlife. So this time, endangered wildlife will save us."
Leela,"Thanks, Linda. Now we're in here because we tried to save endangered wildlife. So this time, endangered wildlife will save us.",Amy,The Martian muck leech.
Amy,The Martian muck leech.,Leela,Little cutie almost sucked me dry.
Leela,Little cutie almost sucked me dry.,LaBarbara,Look at him go. Like a green snake through a sugarcane cake.
LaBarbara,Look at him go. Like a green snake through a sugarcane cake.,Hermes,(on her cell phone): Keep trying.
Hermes,(on her cell phone): Keep trying.,Morbo,"Our top story. The universe's most wanted eco-feminists are now behind bars, including gang leader, Turanga Leela. AKA, the Notorious B-I-Itch."
Morbo,"Our top story. The universe's most wanted eco-feminists are now behind bars, including gang leader, Turanga Leela. AKA, the Notorious B-I-Itch.",Zoidberg,"We finished un-pinking the ship, Hubert. Now what?"
Zoidberg,"We finished un-pinking the ship, Hubert. Now what?",Farnsworth,"Now we get back to work. And if that means destroying an ecosystem or two, so be it."
Farnsworth,"Now we get back to work. And if that means destroying an ecosystem or two, so be it.",Zoidberg,"I just meant without our good friends Fry, Leela, Amy and the robut."
Zoidberg,"I just meant without our good friends Fry, Leela, Amy and the robut.",Farnsworth,"Oh, boo-hoo. This is a business, not a social club. Money talks."
Farnsworth,"Oh, boo-hoo. This is a business, not a social club. Money talks.",Lincoln,(on a $5 bill): True wealth is measured in friendships.
Lincoln,(on a $5 bill): True wealth is measured in friendships.,Farnsworth,"Shut up, you."
Farnsworth,"Shut up, you.",Scruffy,Life goes on. But I believe we'll forever carry the pain on the inside.
Scruffy,Life goes on. But I believe we'll forever carry the pain on the inside.,Amy,"Oh, no, a rooster! That indicates it's the following morning."
Amy,"Oh, no, a rooster! That indicates it's the following morning.",LaBarbara,How's that creepy crawler doing?
LaBarbara,How's that creepy crawler doing?,Leela,"I'm sorry, femi-sisters, but it pooped out around 3:00 a.m. Poor thing couldn't take another bite."
Leela,"I'm sorry, femi-sisters, but it pooped out around 3:00 a.m. Poor thing couldn't take another bite.",Amy,"Well, I guess we failed. But what matters is, we tried our best and we looked good doing it."
Amy,"Well, I guess we failed. But what matters is, we tried our best and we looked good doing it.",Amy,"Bender, is that you?"
Amy,"Bender, is that you?",Bender,Who does it look like? My identical cousin Buster?
Bender,Who does it look like? My identical cousin Buster?,Amy,Yes.
Amy,Yes.,Leela,You're here to break us out? But you're the one who put us in.
Leela,You're here to break us out? But you're the one who put us in.,Bender,"But I'm Bender, king of the combination shot. I put you in so that by busting you out, I could commit 15 felonies at once. Puttin' my rap sheet miles ahead of yours on the all-time chart."
Bender,"But I'm Bender, king of the combination shot. I put you in so that by busting you out, I could commit 15 felonies at once. Puttin' my rap sheet miles ahead of yours on the all-time chart.",Leela,You are one devious bastard.
Leela,You are one devious bastard.,Leela,What about the sentries?
Leela,What about the sentries?,Bender,"Already taken care of. I sent them a cake laced with nutmeg. That's a human sleeping drug, right?"
Bender,"Already taken care of. I sent them a cake laced with nutmeg. That's a human sleeping drug, right?",Amy,"No, it's a human baking drug."
Amy,"No, it's a human baking drug.",Leela,"Okay, Plan B. Everyone knows men have one fatal weakness - they can't resist hookers. Dixie, Trixie, you know what to do."
Leela,"Okay, Plan B. Everyone knows men have one fatal weakness - they can't resist hookers. Dixie, Trixie, you know what to do.",Mr.,"Wong: Ladies and gentleman and whatever, welcome to my most environmentally disastrous implosion ever: a whole star system!"
Mr.,"Wong: Ladies and gentleman and whatever, welcome to my most environmentally disastrous implosion ever: a whole star system!",Zapp,"Kif, old boy, mind if I sit on your shoulders for a better view?"
Zapp,"Kif, old boy, mind if I sit on your shoulders for a better view?",Kif,"Well, actually, sir, I was hoping..."
Kif,"Well, actually, sir, I was hoping...",Zap,Thanks.
Zap,Thanks.,Mr.,"Wong: My associate Philip Fry here will have honor to blow this ugly, dirty star into nice, clean black hole."
Mr.,"Wong: My associate Philip Fry here will have honor to blow this ugly, dirty star into nice, clean black hole.",Mr.,"Wong: Fry, careful those wires. What you doing down there?"
Mr.,"Wong: Fry, careful those wires. What you doing down there?",Fry,"Just polishing your shoes, Mr. W."
Fry,"Just polishing your shoes, Mr. W.",Mr.,"Wong: Mmm, that nice. Get between the toes there, very dirty."
Mr.,"Wong: Mmm, that nice. Get between the toes there, very dirty.",Bender,"Well, so much for Plan B."
Bender,"Well, so much for Plan B.",Leela,What's Plan C?
Leela,What's Plan C?,Bender,"All situations have the same Plan C. Bending, come on."
Bender,"All situations have the same Plan C. Bending, come on.","Leela,",Bender. It's a brick wall.
"Leela,",Bender. It's a brick wall.,Bender,"Granted, it's not on the list of approved bendables, but I'm so great!"
Bender,"Granted, it's not on the list of approved bendables, but I'm so great!",Amy,Dogs! The boning continues!
Amy,Dogs! The boning continues!,Bender,"Green Bluebird, this is Mr. Fabulous. We are go for cheesing it."
Bender,"Green Bluebird, this is Mr. Fabulous. We are go for cheesing it.",Leela,Uh...
Leela,Uh...,Scruffy,Scruffy. The janitor.
Scruffy,Scruffy. The janitor.,Leela,You helped us escape? Even after we locked you in a go-go cage like common go-go dancers?
Leela,You helped us escape? Even after we locked you in a go-go cage like common go-go dancers?,Farnsworth,"I couldn't live with myself, Leela. I call myself a scientist, wear the white coat and probe a monkey every now and again, yet I put monetary gain ahead of preserving nature. Can you ever forgive me?"
Farnsworth,"I couldn't live with myself, Leela. I call myself a scientist, wear the white coat and probe a monkey every now and again, yet I put monetary gain ahead of preserving nature. Can you ever forgive me?",Scruffy,I reckon.
Scruffy,I reckon.,Leela,"I could kiss you, Professor."
Leela,"I could kiss you, Professor.",Zapp,"Brannigan, as it were, it seems only fitting that I, Commodore 64 Zapp Brannigan, say a few brief pages in honor of..."
Zapp,"Brannigan, as it were, it seems only fitting that I, Commodore 64 Zapp Brannigan, say a few brief pages in honor of...",Nine,"(Telepathically): Whatever your plan is, Fry, I suggest you get on with it. Get... Shoot, I got hot sauce on my Number 9 shirt."
Nine,"(Telepathically): Whatever your plan is, Fry, I suggest you get on with it. Get... Shoot, I got hot sauce on my Number 9 shirt.",Fry,"(Telepathically): Okay, locate the Dark One by finding someone whose thoughts I can't read."
Fry,"(Telepathically): Okay, locate the Dark One by finding someone whose thoughts I can't read.",Zapp,Brannigan: And unaccustomed...
Zapp,Brannigan: And unaccustomed...,Zapp,Brannigan (Telepathically): By God! I'm the greatest speaker of all time. They're suckling at the teats of my every syllable.
Zapp,Brannigan (Telepathically): By God! I'm the greatest speaker of all time. They're suckling at the teats of my every syllable.,Zapp,Brannigan: Allow me now...
Zapp,Brannigan: Allow me now...,Kif,(Telepathically): His voice is like ear sandpaper.I miss Amy.
Kif,(Telepathically): His voice is like ear sandpaper.I miss Amy.,Nixon's,Head (Telepathically): The one secret no one ever suspected is that I really did stage the moon landing. On Venus. (LAUGHING)
Nixon's,Head (Telepathically): The one secret no one ever suspected is that I really did stage the moon landing. On Venus. (LAUGHING),Calculon,"I'd like to thank the academy, my agent, and most of all, my operating system, Windows Vista, for everything it... System error."
Calculon,"I'd like to thank the academy, my agent, and most of all, my operating system, Windows Vista, for everything it... System error.",Snoop,Dogg (Telepathically): Naked ladies. Naked ladies. Naked ladies. Naked ladies.
Snoop,Dogg (Telepathically): Naked ladies. Naked ladies. Naked ladies. Naked ladies.,Mr.,Wong (Telepathically): I never should have taken that accent elimination class from Jackie Chan.
Mr.,Wong (Telepathically): I never should have taken that accent elimination class from Jackie Chan.,Zapp,"Brannigan. And I quote, All good things must come to an end, preferably in a humongous explosion."
Zapp,"Brannigan. And I quote, All good things must come to an end, preferably in a humongous explosion.",Mr.,Wong: Let's pop this beach ball.
Mr.,Wong: Let's pop this beach ball.,ALL,Ten! Nine! Eight!
ALL,Ten! Nine! Eight!,Fry,"(Telepathically): There's no one here whose thoughts can't be read. No one, except me! My thoughts can't be read. But, but that's crazy. If I were the Dark One, I'd know it, wouldn't I? But, here I am, right where the Dark One would be, about to blow up the star. Oh, God! Somewhere deep inside of me, it's me! I'm the Dark One!"
Fry,"(Telepathically): There's no one here whose thoughts can't be read. No one, except me! My thoughts can't be read. But, but that's crazy. If I were the Dark One, I'd know it, wouldn't I? But, here I am, right where the Dark One would be, about to blow up the star. Oh, God! Somewhere deep inside of me, it's me! I'm the Dark One!",ALL,Two... one!
ALL,Two... one!,Leela,Put your hands in the air!
Leela,Put your hands in the air!,Snoop,Dogg: Should we wave them like we just don't care?
Snoop,Dogg: Should we wave them like we just don't care?,Leela,That's optional.
Leela,That's optional.,Mr.,Wong: You girl punks gone too far this time. Your parents should be ashamed.
Mr.,Wong: You girl punks gone too far this time. Your parents should be ashamed.,Amy,"Yes, you should!"
Amy,"Yes, you should!",Mrs.,Wong: Amy?
Mrs.,Wong: Amy?,Kif,Amy!
Kif,Amy!,"Mysterious,","Sinister Voice (Telepathically to Mr. Wong): Destroy the star, Leo, hurry."
"Mysterious,","Sinister Voice (Telepathically to Mr. Wong): Destroy the star, Leo, hurry.",Mr.,"Wong I've gotta admit, Amy, you got a pretty good swing."
Mr.,"Wong I've gotta admit, Amy, you got a pretty good swing.",Amy,"Really? Thanks, Dad."
Amy,"Really? Thanks, Dad.",Fry,"Leela, wait. You're making a mistake. You have no idea what's really going on."
Fry,"Leela, wait. You're making a mistake. You have no idea what's really going on.",Leela,What is really going on?
Leela,What is really going on?,Fry,I can't tell you.
Fry,I can't tell you.,Leela,Then why should I trust you? Why?
Leela,Then why should I trust you? Why?,Fry,Because... Because...
Fry,Because... Because...,Leela,You're you. That's all I need to know.
Leela,You're you. That's all I need to know.,Bender,No! Don't do it!
Bender,No! Don't do it!,Scruffy,Fiddlesticks.
Scruffy,Fiddlesticks.,Amy,"Leela, are you crazy? We became fugitives and jail-breakers to stop him."
Amy,"Leela, are you crazy? We became fugitives and jail-breakers to stop him.",Bender,"And hookers, don't forget hookers."
Bender,"And hookers, don't forget hookers.",Leela,"Shame on all of you. After everything we've been through together, do you really think Fry would-"
Leela,"Shame on all of you. After everything we've been through together, do you really think Fry would-",Fry,"Goodbye, Leela. I destroy myself to save you."
Fry,"Goodbye, Leela. I destroy myself to save you.",Nixon's,Head: Where's the boom? I was expecting a boom.
Nixon's,Head: Where's the boom? I was expecting a boom.,"Mysterious,","Sinister Voice You're not the Dark One, I am!"
"Mysterious,","Sinister Voice You're not the Dark One, I am!",Fry,Leela?!
Fry,Leela?!,Mysterious,Voice What did you do to me?
Mysterious,Voice What did you do to me?,Leela,Ew!
Leela,Ew!,Dark,"One: I am the Dark One. The very last Dark One. How is it possible I couldn't read your mind? Oh, I am momentarily disabled."
Dark,"One: I am the Dark One. The very last Dark One. How is it possible I couldn't read your mind? Oh, I am momentarily disabled.",Randy,What's happening out there?
Randy,What's happening out there?,Sal,Somethings wondersful.
Sal,Somethings wondersful.,Leela,The star and the asteroid. They were an egg and a sperm.
Leela,The star and the asteroid. They were an egg and a sperm.,Preacherbot,Great modem of mercy. Cover the children's eyes.
Preacherbot,Great modem of mercy. Cover the children's eyes.,Morbo,There are no children here.
Morbo,There are no children here.,Preacherbot,Then move your fat head. I can't see.
Preacherbot,Then move your fat head. I can't see.,Nine,The Encyclopod is reborn. A new green age has begun!
Nine,The Encyclopod is reborn. A new green age has begun!,Mad,Fellow: So the legend foretold.
Mad,Fellow: So the legend foretold.,Farnsworth,Look! Inside its pouch. Extinct Tasmanian tigers!
Farnsworth,Look! Inside its pouch. Extinct Tasmanian tigers!,Amy,And dodo birds!
Amy,And dodo birds!,Leela,And white rhinos!
Leela,And white rhinos!,Hermes,And striped biologist-taunters!
Hermes,And striped biologist-taunters!,Striped,"biologist-taunter: What are you gonna do, shoot us?"
Striped,"biologist-taunter: What are you gonna do, shoot us?",Encyclopod,"These once extinct plants and animals are my gift to the universe. Through untold generations, my race has treasured their DNA. Treat them wisely with the knowledge that all species are precious."
Encyclopod,"These once extinct plants and animals are my gift to the universe. Through untold generations, my race has treasured their DNA. Treat them wisely with the knowledge that all species are precious.",Leela,This is unbelievable. What's going on?
Leela,This is unbelievable. What's going on?,Hutch,"To answer that, I must tell you a story. A story of two alien species so ancient that-"
Hutch,"To answer that, I must tell you a story. A story of two alien species so ancient that-",Fry,"Hutch, are you okay?"
Fry,"Hutch, are you okay?",Fry,"Hey, how come I can't read your thoughts anymore?"
Fry,"Hey, how come I can't read your thoughts anymore?",Nine,"After all these eons, the Dark Ones are no more. Will you preserve their DNA, O Great Encyclopod?"
Nine,"After all these eons, the Dark Ones are no more. Will you preserve their DNA, O Great Encyclopod?",Encyclopod,"I suppose I should. Wait, where did it go?"
Encyclopod,"I suppose I should. Wait, where did it go?",Zoidberg,What?
Zoidberg,What?,Encyclopod,"Well, at any rate, I shall preserve the DNA of Homo sapiens."
Encyclopod,"Well, at any rate, I shall preserve the DNA of Homo sapiens.",Fry,Huh. I thought you only saved the DNA of endangered species.
Fry,Huh. I thought you only saved the DNA of endangered species.,Fry,I guess he didn't hear me.
Fry,I guess he didn't hear me.,Bender,"Well, looks like that wraps everything up in a nice big, old, fat sack of..."
Bender,"Well, looks like that wraps everything up in a nice big, old, fat sack of...",Zapp,Brannigan Kif?
Zapp,Brannigan Kif?,Kif,Wait for me.
Kif,Wait for me.,Fry,"Well, this is the end. There was so many things I wanted to say to you."
Fry,"Well, this is the end. There was so many things I wanted to say to you.",Leela,Like what?
Leela,Like what?,Fry,"Like this is not the end. But mostly just, I love you, Leela."
Fry,"Like this is not the end. But mostly just, I love you, Leela.",Hermes,"Sweet topology of cosmology, it's huge!"
Hermes,"Sweet topology of cosmology, it's huge!",Farnsworth,"If we fly into it, it could take us trillions of light years away. There's no knowing if we'll ever return."
Farnsworth,"If we fly into it, it could take us trillions of light years away. There's no knowing if we'll ever return.",Fry,What do we do? Should we go for it?
Fry,What do we do? Should we go for it?,ALL,"Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go."