user: Q: Facebook: Here's exactly what we mean by 'nudity'

For instance, Facebook (FB, Tech30) clarified what constitutes nudity (genitals, fully exposed buttocks and female breasts if they include the nipple -- except if the women are breastfeeding or showing post-mastectomy scars).

Nude illustrations are fine, as long as they're for educational or satirical purposes and aren't "explicit."

And so-called revenge porn, in which someone posts sexual images of another person without permission, is not allowed.

Hate speech has been another tricky topic for Facebook. The company said attacks on race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, gender and "serious" disabilities are banned.

These distinctions have become necessary, because Facebook walks a thin line as it tries to police speech that spans dozens of countries and more than a billion people.

Facebook has run afoul of various interest groups and users when it has taken down controversial posts, including beheadings (which it then re-allowed and then re-banned last year). The company has inconsistently banned some hate speech, protests and nudity.

"It's a challenge to maintain one set of standards that meets the needs of a diverse global community," said Monika Bickert, Facebook's head of global policy management, and Chris Sonderby, Facebook's deputy general counsel, in a blog post. "For one thing, people from different backgrounds may have different ideas about what's appropriate to share -- a video posted as a joke by one person might be upsetting to someone else, but it may not violate our standards."

By clarifying its rules, Facebook said it hopes to explain more precisely why some posts and profiles stay up while others are taken down. The standards aren't new, Facebook says -- it only sought to clear up any misunderstandings.

"We have a set of Community Standards that are designed to help people understand what is acceptable to share on Facebook," Facebook said. "These standards are designed to create an environment where people feel motivated and empowered to treat each other with empathy and respect."

In addition to nudity and hate speech, Facebook gave extra emphasis to what constitutes self-injury, dangerous organizations, bullying and harassment, criminal activity, sexual violence and exploitation, violence and graphic content.

But the updated guidelines also clarify some other hot-buttion issues, including something seemingly as benign as what name you use. Recently, Facebook became embroiled in a debate with San Francisco drag queens who wanted to use their stage names rather than their legal names. Facebook ultimately gave in, and this week the company clarified that people must use their "authentic identities," which are the names that they are generally known by.

Facebook acknowledged that its policies "won't perfectly address every piece of content," but it will continue to address cases on an individual basis, when possible. It will also keep relying on the community to flag what it deems to be inappropriate content. Users can report troubling posts to Facebook by clicking the "Report" link at the top, right-hand corner of the page or app.

Related: Facebook will loosen policy for drag queens

Related: Outrage erupts over Facebook's decision on graphic videos

CNNMoney (New York) March 16, 2015: 8:26 AM ET
What are the most important parts of this text?

A: Facebook updated its 'community standards' to clarify exactly what it means by 'nudity' and 'hate speech.'


Q: Carolyn Hax: She says she’s moved beyond her past infidelities. Can he believe her?

After that ended, a year and a half ago, she became very promiscuous. We met four months ago and have been dating ever since. She told me she would never cheat on me, and that her past was full of mistakes. She says she used sex to cope.

Sometimes I worry. I’ve heard the saying, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” and I’m trying my best not to become a jealous, possessive boyfriend. Any advice?

How come you never hear, “Once a freeloader, always a freeloader,” or, “Once a whiner, always a whiner,” or, “Once a self-obsessed, chaos-sowing pain in the butt, always a self-obsessed, chaos-sowing pain in the butt”?

People can be a bad relationship bet for countless reasons, often in glorious combination. Fixating on only one of them automatically forces you into a narrow view of a person, just when thinking broadly would optimize your judgment — not just of her, but of yourself with her.

For example, why are you stressed by her cheating but not relieved by her honesty? Is cheating the only, or even the most serious, way she could hurt you? Have you ever mistreated a girlfriend? Did you disclose exactly how, when and why to your current girlfriend?

Of course it makes sense to be concerned about her destructive past. Of course it’s going to be on your mind. Of course infidelity is near the top of the bad-news food chain.

But tease out the contributing elements of cheating, and you’ll get a much less tidy, but much more useful set of traits to screen for — in part because they’re behind all kinds of destructive behavior, not just infidelity.

There’s dishonesty at work, for one. There’s selfishness. There’s thrill-seeking. There’s often impulsiveness, or susceptibility to immediate gratification. There’s pain relief. There are, sometimes: cruelty, vanity, greed, cowardice, depression, addiction, denial, contempt.

Being possessive of someone, or employing the proverbial short leash, does nothing to offset any of these destructive tendencies. What does keep them from infecting a relationship is mastery of them by your girlfriend, and a certain amount of acceptance of them by you both.

The former is pretty straightforward. If she has looked the worst of herself in the face, identified her errors and frailties, worked to overcome them, and accepted that some element of this work will be lifelong, then I like her chances in a relationship better than I do some people’s who’ve never once colored outside a line.

As for the latter: I like both of your chances if you’re both mature enough to recognize there’s no such thing as trusting someone never to do you harm. There’s only trust that it won’t be purposeful or negligent — and that you’re prepared to handle it. Even that trust isn’t foolproof, but I don’t advise committing to someone without it.

Write to Carolyn Hax, Style, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, or tellme@washpost.com. Get her column delivered to your inbox each morning at http://bit.ly/haxpost.
What are the most important parts of this text?

A:

assistant: A man who worries about his girlfriend’s past infidelity also might want to consider her candor about it.