user: Given a post that is a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation and a question asks if AUTHOR, NOBODY, EVERYBODY, or OTHER is wrong in the situation. Answer the question and classify your answers into yes or no.

Q: Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : So about 5 years ago, my niece came to visit us. This was really exciting for her because she was 14 and she was finally allowed to travel on her own. Her mom, my older sister, is a single mom who struggles to get by (barely paycheck to paycheck), so it was our treat and pleasure. We also happened to have a new rambunctious puppy at the time. We reminded my niece multiple times to put her valuables away and to push in chairs, etc, but our puppy ultimately ended up eating her retainer. I immediately told my sister that we would pay for it, since it was a slight hardship for us (~$400-600, can’t remember, but they had no dental insurance) but would have been a devastating blow to my sister. My wife (then GF) grumbled a little about how my niece wasn’t responsible with her belongings even after multiple warnings (she left retainer on table with chair pulled out, a specific scenario we warned about) but ultimately conceded that it was our puppy, our home, and therefore our responsibility.

Anyway, when we were home visiting for Thanksgiving, my wife came to our room (really niece’s room that we’re staying in) to find that my sister’s dog had torn up her suitcase and destroyed most of the clothes she brought and all of her cosmetics. My wife is into fashion, so this is totalling around $800ish damage. The dog had jumped over the gate my sister put up.

This would be, again, a devastating financial blow to my sister. It wouldn’t be easy to replace ourselves but we could manage to do it, especially over time. Get the most crucial stuff now and fill in. That to me seemed like the best solution, but my wife is throwing my old logic back in my face: my sister’s dog, her roof, her responsibility. And she is saying that since my sister put up a gate, giving her a false sense of security, it’s even more crucial since she wasn’t “irresponsible” like my (at the time young teen) niece was. AND she wanted to stay at a hotel anyway, but my sister would have been hurt if we did that so she had already compromised there (this is true). I get all this and I’ve validated my wife’s frustration but I still don’t want to ask my sister to give us money she definitely doesn’t have when she’s raising a daughter and struggles to barely make ends meet. 

It doesn’t help that my wife and my sister aren’t each other’s biggest fans for a lot of other reasons but I think that’s fuel more than fire.

AITA? Or is my wife thinking too black and white?

A: yes
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Q: Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : I binged 3 days in a row. I wasn’t feeling well. So I decided to cancel the party that was due in two days time. 
Also I had a party the other day and I have two dogs; which can’t stop barking at new people. 
So was I the asshole for cancelling said party? 

A: no
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Q: Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : I get the feeling this might go badly for me but anyways...


My grandmother died (last remaining grandparent also) and my mom is devastated. My mom and I live out of the country and would have to fly for the funeral in order to attend. I hate funerals, hate flying (I don't really take holidays unless I can drive, but with my work I don't really take holidays at all). 


My brother and dad are alive and well, both able to go but have said no. My dad lives in the country with me, but my brother actually lives in the country the funeral is being held in. It's important to note that throughout the year I do a LOT for my mom and she generally still has a lot of complaints. My brother and dad aren't great with her, they don't help her or do much for her or with her. She has an idyllic dream of a movie style family, and our family dynamics are much more strained than that. She often vents about it, and because I'm the only one that will listen I always get the brunt of it. When she complains to me I try and tell her "I hate when you keep complaining about it, it's not fair to complain about 'your family not caring about you' to me... when I'm the one that's literally here listening and doing things for you and with you." I go for dinner etc, help her move furniture, all sorts but it's never good enough and she lets me know. She'll thank me usually in the moment, but then complain later on about something else. It's just frustrating that I end up having to do the work of what should be multiple people, I go over to her house and let her rant about work and support her but I feel like I'm having to be a husband, sons, and daughter to her (she often complains she wished she'd had girls as they would care about her more than I do). 


I don't want to say she's full on narcissistic as she isn't. But I guess I just get fed up of the back and forth always happening, so when it comes to doing something for her I really don't want to do (fly/go to a funeral) I just don't want to do it. 


AITA?  

A:

assistant: no
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