user: Q: All men need a space in which to tinker with functioning bikes, read comics and drink Thermos tea. Married couples need to escape from each other from time to time says HILARY BOYD. Having space to write has become crucial to the harmony of Hilary's relationship and the ongoing success of her career.
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A: By. Hilary Boyd. The truth is one I have only recently acknowledged, but I am in no doubt now that it is universal: if you have a husband, you should also get a shed. All married men need one — a place where they can do important things such as tinker with perfectly functioning bikes, read comics and drink Thermos tea (for an average of around 26 days a year, as one recent report conservatively estimated). For years, ‘heading to the shed’ has been a technique for escaping ’er indoors. But while men may have always been allowed to think it’s their idea to get a shed, I now realise it’s women who really drive the plan. Hilary Boyd is more than happy to let her husband lock himself away in the shed while she gets on with writing. Sheds, I have discovered, are essential places in which to contain a husband. And for every man who’s smugly congratulating himself on breaking out for some sneaky man time, you can bet there’s a wife breathing a huge sigh of relief at having him out from under her feet. I think I may have struck upon the cure for our soaring divorce rate which, tellingly, is particularly prolific among the over-60s — the age that retirement sets in and couples suddenly find themselves permanently, and seemingly maddeningly, rubbing shoulders under one roof. Simply make sure he has a mini, felted roof of his own. Until recently I wasn’t lucky enough to have a shed in my life. So my husband of 41 years, Don, was on the loose. And as a selfish writer who works from home, this spelt disaster. I am the sort who needs total quiet and isolation when I’m writing. I am in awe of writers who work alongside their partners. Maeve Binchy wrote side by side with her husband, Gordon, in the same room; twin typewriters next to each other. Can you imagine? Author Laurie Graham has her husband, Howard, who sadly is suffering from dementia, with her at all times. I have nothing but respect for them both. Author Maeve Binchy with husband Gordon, who she writes side by side with. Don and I used to settle ourselves at opposite ends of our one-and-a-half-bedroom flat in North London, and I still couldn’t manage it. The ‘half’ was my office, and Don — a crazy film-maker type — had an office in town where he went daily. But modern technology meant he could do a lot of his work — running an online arts website — from home. This meant the Boyd family scenario during the week went as follows: ‘Are you going into work now?’ I’d say, ever-so-casually after breakfast, at around 9am. ‘Yes,’ Don would say. ‘I’ve got a meeting at 11am.’ A t that point, I would retreat to my office and pretend to start writing. In reality, I’d be sitting waiting for sounds that he was going — the blessed shout of goodbye that meant I could start scribbling in peace. Not because he was making a noise as such, but because he was there, lurking. After a while, I’d pop back out. ‘How’s it going?’ I’d ask, nonchalantly. ‘Fine,’ he’d reply. ‘Are you off soon?’ I’d persist. Then he’d look hurt. ‘OK, OK, I’m going in a minute. I don’t see what difference it makes me being here — I’m not making a sound.’ Hilary Boyd says having her own space has helped her to be successful. And another row would ensue, me incoherently trying to explain why his silent presence was as annoying as nails on a blackboard. I’m sure anyone reading this is probably feeling sorry for Don right now. And fair enough. I was being a bit of a harridan, wanting to chuck my husband out of his own home. But I couldn’t write with him there, not in that tiny space — and it became crucial to the harmony of our relationship and ongoing success of my career that this chucking out issue got sorted. So, this year, we made the momentous decision to move out of London — where I’ve lived for more than six decades — to find somewhere bigger, more peaceful, where Don could have his own office at home. Still, at the back of my mind, I was worried. Wouldn’t it be the same as in the flat: Don in his new office, me in the next room, itching to have the house all to myself? As soon as we stepped through the door of any potential home, I immediately scanned the bedroom situation to see if there would be enough separation. And mostly there wasn’t. Then we walked into this small cottage by the coast in West Sussex, and I spied the answer to all our problems: a shed. Hallelujah! A converted garage across the small garden, already kitted out as an office, and a thousand miles away from the lovely spare bedroom — my space — in the attic. We decided to take it straight away. And here we are, four months later, settled into our new place near the sea. Don still goes up to London a couple of days a week, but the time he is at home is happily spent in our marriage-saving shed. Now and again I’ll take him a cup of tea, sometimes even make him lunch, and encourage him in his latest endeavour. All I need to do now is make sure he never, ever retires. Hilary Boyd’s new novel, A Most Desirable Marriage, is out on October 9, published by Quercus.


Q: NEW: A Florida man, like his wife, is charged with murder and child abuse. NEW: A police director calls the behavior "subhuman," pointing to "long-term abuse" A state investigator found no reason for concern in the household. A 10-year-old girl was found dead in plastic bag, her twin brother was burned.
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assistant: State investigators concluded there were "no safety threats" at the home of a 10-year-old girl two days before she was found dead in her adoptive father's pick-up truck near her seriously ill twin brother, according to a report released Monday by Florida child welfare authorities. Both of the twins' adoptive parents -- mother Carmen Barahona and father Jorge Barahona -- are charged with first-degree murder in the girl's death. They also each face seven counts of aggravated child abuse and seven counts of child neglect, with the mother being so charged Saturday and the father charged on all the counts Monday. James Loftus, director of the Miami-Dade Police Department, told reporters Monday that the girl died and the boy was found only after an extended period of "systemic long-term abuse." "This is, in my experience, one of the saddest commentaries on the human condition that I've ever seen," Loftus said, calling the parents' alleged behavior "subhuman." "It's depressing, it's sickening." Jorge Barahona earlier pleaded not guilty on charges of attempted first-degree murder with a weapon and aggravated child abuse with a weapon in the case. Days before the twins were found, the Florida Department of Children and Families received tips alleging poor treatment of children at the Barahona household in Miami-Dade County. Records indicate a 7-year-old also lived in the home. One caller on February 10 claimed that the 10-year-old girl and another child had been "tied by their hands and feet with tape, and made to stay in the bathtub all day and night as a form of punishment," with the tape removed only so they could eat, according to a copy of the report released Monday. Then, on February 12, authorities began looking into another claim that one of the Barahonas' children needed stitches after being hurt on the face and lip. Carmen Barahona applied a bandage but didn't take the child to the hospital. The mother said the child fell -- though the report notes that "the injury is not consistent with the story." Investigators went to the home and late that night filed a report, in which they did not find any reasons for concern for the children's well-being. "There is no reason to believe that the family is about to flee or refuse access to the children," investigator Bridget Moore said in the "initial in home safety assessment" report. "The home was observed, and there were no hazardous conditions." The report concluded with an assessment that the risk to the children was "moderate," with no risk of abuse. "There are no concerns for the safety of the children while in the care of the parents," the investigator writes. Two days later, on February 14, authorities say Jorge Barahona parked his pest-control truck alongside I-95. A roadside ranger said he found Barahona beside the truck and his adopted son ill inside the vehicle, which was filled with toxic chemicals. The boy was taken to a hospital to be treated for severe burns. The body of the Barahonas' adopted daughter, Nubia -- who was the boy's twin sister -- was later discovered in the back of the truck in a plastic bag. The Florida Department of Children and Families held its fourth of five scheduled meetings Monday afternoon to examine how authorities had handled the case. In one instance, a caller told Florida authorities that he knew the Barahonas, and he was worried about the couple's twins. The contents of that phone call, which was made two days before the twins were found, was released last  week by the department. The caller said he was worried that something sinister had happened to the 10-year-old girl because the Barahonas could not explain where the girl was. "(Jorge Barahona) doesn't come out with a straight answer, which is worrying me so much that something might have happened to that little girl," said the caller, who was not named. During Monday's press conference, Katherine Fernandez Rundle -- the state attorney for Miami-Dade -- said the surviving children in the Barahonas' home "clearly are key witnesses" in the case, describing their cooperation with investigators thus far as "very courageous." Rundle said a decision hasn't been made yet on whether prosecutors would seek a death sentence in this case, though she signalled that this scenario appeared likely. "If there ever was a case that the death penalty would apply, it would seem to apply to this one," she said.