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Sports talk thrives in many fashions

By Michael Hiestand, USA TODAY

This "relentless onslaught" is inevitable, and only in its infancy.

And to fret about it is like arguing we could reduce America's pollution, obesity and dependence on foreign oil by going back to riding horses instead of cars; it's not going to happen.

First, you need to feed the sports media beasts running in bigger and bigger packs. Sports talk-radio stations, invented only 20 years ago, are now everywhere. Sports online, from live video to blogs to blather, seems like it already exists to infinity — but that universe is expanding. And with new TV sports channels being launched like so many backyard bottle rockets, we can all rest assured that even if we outlive our retirement savings, we'll be able to tune in to, say, an ESPN channel devoted to prison weight lifting as we munch pet food.

And to fill all that airtime, it's relatively cheap and easy to use hot air from guys in makeup.

Why not just present the facts on TV? Because we already know them. What's to report from around the sports world during studio shows when we've already read the news — via onscreen graphics — during games. Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy's recent screed about a local newspaper column, was old news before it was reported: Once you heard about it, you could log on from Oklahoma or Okinawa to watch it on YouTube and call up the article — leaving talking heads to offer up their own reactive screeds to add anything new.

Sure, there are lots of half-baked opinions. Sports might be the only topic that can inspire millions to believe they know what's really going on, which also makes fantasy leagues inevitable. Herb Kohl, the U.S. senator and Milwaukee Bucks owner, gets plenty of NBA tips from politicos. He once told me, "One thing about sports is everyone thinks they have something valuable to say."

And now, plenty of outlets to say it.

TBS' Caray making his voice heard in playoffs

Lead play-by-play announcer Chip Caray, in TBS' first-ever playoff coverage, has the most prominent perch of his career.

And he's making full use of his megaphone.

Play-by-play callers range from minimalists, such as Pat Summerall, to, well, activists such as Caray. "Activist? Is that a nice way of saying I'm talking too much?" he says. "I agree. All of us in TV talk too much."

Then why keep doing it? "I love the game. I understand I don't have to sell the moment by talking about it. But if announcers aren't excited, how do you expect your audiences to be?"

Like his late grandfather Harry, the legendary Cubs announcer, and father Skip, who called TBS Braves games for three decades until that TV package ended this season, Caray says he's "excitable." And like them, he says, he's not "afraid to roar like a fan." (Chip, on TBS not including Skip on its playoff coverage: "I love him. He's my hero. … It's an awkward situation because I didn't make the hires.")

Caray's calls, so far, have included lots of on-air inaccuracies. Partly, he says, that came from calling American League action after having called National League games all season on TBS' Braves coverage. "I'm not perfect. But if I knowingly make a mistake, I'll try to correct it. In our high-wire act, we work without a net."

Fortunately for Caray so far, he's just speaking figuratively.

Playing head games with Corso

Each Saturday, Joe Andreasen makes one of the highest-profile handoffs in college football.

Technically, it's more of a head-on: Andreasen, crouching under flamboyant Lee Corso's desk on the set of ESPN's College GameDay, plops a school mascot head on Corso to signify his big-game prediction.

Yes, they actually practice. They first tried to get their timing down on turning Corso into the Southern California Trojan, complete with sword and breastplate.

With each school's heads stashed in ESPN production trailers, says Andreasen, Corso "will take me aside when he's getting makeup for the Friday SportsCenter report to practice.

"He takes it so seriously. He wants to go through it so we don't get heads on backwards." Says Corso: "This is serious business for me."

Andreasen, a freelancer who does other errands for the show and also works on ESPN's college basketball GameDay, almost had a busted play this season when Corso was trying to put on an Alabama elephant head — "it was almost life-size and barely fit in a 40-gallon trash bag" — and it wouldn't go on. "It just got stuck for two seconds, but it seemed like five minutes."

Saturday's show is at Oklahoma, where the Sooners will host Missouri. Andreasen expects to call an audible: "I'm almost sure he'll pick Oklahoma, but they don't have a head. There, we've ended up picking a goofy hat from the crowd."

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assistant: Sports talk-radio stations are now everywhere. Sports online, from live video to blogs to blather, seems like it already exists to infinity but that universe is expanding. And with new TV sports channels being launched like so many backyard bottle...