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A nasty LinkedIn message from Ohio went viral. Photograph: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

If ever there was an example of why you should take the high road in life, a recent viral episode from Ohio is it. Kelly Blazek, a prominent businesswoman in Cleveland with about 1,000 LinkedIn connections, was contacted by a recent college grad moving back to the area and wondering if Blazek knew of any job openings.

It was a gutsy move. The recent college grad hadn't met this Blazek, but it's easy to understand why the young woman wanted to try to connect given US unemployment for college grads is still high, and underemployment among young people is a scary 37%. You have to have more than have a heartbeat and college degree to get a good job. A lot more.

Instead of offering some friendly advice, Kelly Blazek reportedly responded to the LinkedIn request thus:

We have never met. We have never worked together. You are quite young and green on how business connections work with senior professionals. Apparently you have heard that I produce a Job Bank, and decided it would be stunningly helpful for your career prospects if I shared my 960+ LinkedIn connections with you – a total stranger who has nothing to offer me.

Your invite to connect is inappropriate, beneficial only to you, and tacky. Wow, I cannot wait to let every 25-year-old jobseeker mine my top-tier marketing connections to help them land a job. Love the sense of entitlement in your generation. And therefore I enjoy denying your invite, and giving you the dreaded 'I Don't Know' [scribbled-out name] because it's the truth.

Oh, and about your request to actually receive my Job Bank along with the 7,300 other subscribers to my service? That's denied, too. I suggest you join the other Job Bank in town. Oh wait - there isn't one. Don't ever write me again.

In the pre-digital era, that kind of response might have been printed out and pinned on a dart board. But the recent grad fired back in the best way Millennials know how: posting it on various social media channels (Facebook, Reddit, Imgur). Now it's even made CNN. Suddenly, Blazek was the one being put in her place … by the online crowd.

There are lots of life lessons here (Blazek has since apologised). But having worked with plenty of colleagues from the UK over the years, I'd recommend the British approach in the future:

1. When you really don't want to engage, just don't respond.Brits excel at what I'll call the "passive aggressive approach". They simply don't reply to emails if they're not interested. It's the electronic age version of "neither confirming nor denying" you received the message. I've seen this approach used quite effectively, and I've started to utilize it myself with LinkedIn requests I've opted to do nothing about for awhile – or a very very long while.

2. Sound incredibly encouraging while actually saying "no".We have a chart up in the Guardian's New York office where we "translate" what Brits are really saying so the American workers get it. The list contains items like this:

What the Brits say: Quite goodWhat the British mean: A bit disappointingWhat others understand: Quite good

What the Brits say: Very interestingWhat the British mean: That's clearly nonsenseWhat others understand: They are impressed

What the Brits say: I only have a few minor commentsWhat the British mean: Please re-write completelyWhat other understand: He's found a few typos

You get the idea. Brits excel at telling people no way in heck am I going to do what you want (whether it's publish your article or make that business connection), but they do it in a way that almost makes the person on the receiving end of the bad news want to thank them. Had Blazek learned this, she'd probably have 2,000 LinkedIn friends.

3. Have highly alcoholic leaving partiesThis doesn't exactly apply to the Blazek situation, but another way Brits don't burn bridges is to have big "leaving dos". They celebrate the person leaving, even if they can't wait for him/her to be gone. Drinking alcohol with colleagues, often for a long time, is a good way to end on a friendly note, and it can be great networking.

Someone once said to me that her philosophy was to only be nice to people she planned to see again. I understood her logic on one level. We all have people we struggle to smile at/get along with, but one of the professional lessons that I've learned by my 30s is how often people come back into your life.

Another friend interviewed at a non-profit in her mid-20s that she thought was her dream job. She didn't get the position, but followed the proper etiquette of thanking those who interviewed her and saying she wanted to keep in touch. A decade later, she ended up joining that same organisation – as a board member.

We're living in an era where the intern can be your boss in a matter of months. Hierarchies are disappearing. People's careers can shoot up quickly. This is also a time when people don't just change jobs, they change entire career fields. You simply never know when a connection can become valuable, even if they're an engineer and you're in communications.

You also never know when you'll find yourself in a city you never expected to be in. Like most angsty American teenagers, I couldn't wait to say goodbye to the small city I went to high school in. I thought it was good riddance after graduation and I'd never be back. About a decade later, I moved back for a few years for a fantastic job opportunity, which partly came about because of connections from years prior.

If Blazek were really as good of a networkers as she claims, she wouldn't have shut the door. She would have gone silent until she was ready to bring the young woman into the inner Cleveland fold. Or better yet, she would have suggested some job leads and likely earned the life-long loyalty of the college grad, something far more powerful than mere online connections.

Title:

assistant: An executive's nasty LinkedIn rebuff to a recent college grad backfires