Ukuhlukumezeka Kwabomma Abasemendweni

**Esikhathini** esinengi abomma abasemendweni bazifumana bahlukumezeka ngokwesiko ngitjho nangokwekolo kusetjenziswe neLizwi lakaZimu ukusekela isiga sokuhlukumeza leso. Umtlolo ovame khulu ukusetjenziswa butjhilweni ngosencwadini kaGenesisi 2:18 othi: “USomnini uZimu wathi: ‘Akusikuhle bona umuntu ahlale yedwa. Yeke ngizomenzela umsizi omfaneleko.’”; nencwadini yebe-Efesu 5:22 othi, “Bafazi, thobelani amadoda wenu sengathi nithobela iKosi ngombana indoda iyihloko yomfazi, njengombana uKrestu ayihloko yebandla elimzimba wakhe begodu yena aMsindisi walo.” Umnqopho wephepha leli kuveza ihlathululo yeendimana ezitjhwiwe ngaphezulu ngokomtlolo wesiHebheru nesiGirigi ngehloso yokuletha umkhanyo mayelana nalokho ebekutjhiwo ziindimana lezi ekhabo lakhona. UmTlolo wesiHebheru uzakusetjenziswa ngombana umsuka welimi elisetjenziswe eTestamendeni eliDala siHebheru. UmTlolo wesiGirigi nawo uzakusetjenziswa ngombana umsuka welimi elisetjenziswe eTestamendeni eliTjha siGirigi. Ekugcineni nasele kuhlathululwe iindimana lezi kuzakukhanya bonyana ukusetjenziswa komTlolo ukusekela ukuhlukumezeka kwabomma abasemendweni ngambala kudzimelele eLizwini lakaZimu namkha njani.

## Kuyini Ukuhlukumezeka Namkha Ukuhlukunyezwa Kwabomma Abasemendweni?
Ukuya ngokukaKristin (**2005)** ukuhlukumezeka kwabomma kungathiwa mguruguru wangekhaya, mguruguru womndeni, kubethwa kwabomma namkha ukuhlukunyezwa kwabalingani.

Ukuhlukumeza kutjho ukusebenzisa amandla butjhulweni phezu kwaloyo okuthatheka bonyana mncani namkha uyanyazeka.

UKristin (2005) ubuye ahlathulule iingaba zokuhlukumeza namkha zokuhlukumezeka bunje:

1.    Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba: kubandakanya ukubetha (ukuwakala, ukumanya, ukupatlula, ukusawula), ukudula, ukurarha (ukubhakela), ukusunduza (ukukghurumeja, ukukhahlameza) nokusetjenziswa kwesibulawo (isikhali) ngitjho nanyana ungaphuma imivuvu namkha ungabi nayo imivuvu. Koke lokhu kuzizenzo zobelelesi ngokomThethosisekelo.

2.    Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokwamezwi: ukuthethisa, ukukgharameja, ukuthusela, nokudubhulela umlomo.

3.    Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokwamazizo /ngokomkhumbulo: ukwehlisa umuntu isithunzi, ukumbangela bona azinyaze, ukumnyazisa nokumhlambalazisa ngabentwana.

4.    Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokwehlalo:  Lokhu kutjho ukuqotjha umuntu emndenini, ukumlahlisa abangani, ukumlandelela nokumkhola ngomrhala.

5.    Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokwemali: Ukutswinya umlingani ngokweemali ukwenzela bonyana angakghoni ukuzenzela izinto ezithileko, ukusozisa ngokuchitha imali ebeyifanele ibhadekele umkhaya. 

## Imibono Yabatloli Abahlukahlukeneko
Lokha nakunezenzo zokuhlukunyezwa kwabomma abasemendweni ngekhaya kuvamisile bonyana kuqalelelwe isiko namkha isondo kobana likhalime. Lokhu kutjho bona indaba leyo ingasiwa ngekosini namkha ingasiwa esondweni kumfundisi, kufunwe intatha. Umbuzo okhona kukuthi isiko nesondo namkha ikolo liyirarulula njani indaba leyo. Siyazi-ke bonyana emalangeni esiphila kiwo sele kukhona nomThethosisekelo ovikela ukuhlukunyezwa, okutjho bona ohlukunyezwako unelungelo lokumangala ekhotho yomthetho. Nokho-ke kileliphepha sizokuqalelela ngehlangothini lekolo bonyana ngambala imitlolo iyavumelana nokuhlukunyezwa kwabomma abasemendweni na?

Kujayelekile bonyana umma nakahlukunyezwako ngekhaya kuthathwe bonyana akakazithobi ngokwaneleko kubaba wakwakhe njengombana kusitjho iBhayibheli encwadini yebe-Efesu 5:22. Nanyana sele kuthathwa bona kukutlhorswa kwabantwana ngokomthetho wedemokhrasi nje, kodwana ngokujayelekileko, umntwana nakangalaleli ababelethi, unungwanungwa ngeswazana ukuze afakwe endleleni njengombana kusitjho umTlolo encwadini yezAga 23:13-14 “Ungalisi ukukhalima umntwanakho; akazukufa nawumnunga ngeswazi. Wena nawumbetha ngeswazi, uzabe usindisa umphefumulwakhe ekufeni.” Nokho-ke awukho umtlolo othi umma naye kufanele anungwanungwe ngubaba nakube kukhona ukungazwisisani, ije ubaba ayihloko yekhaya.

Ukuya ngokombiko we-Anglican Book Center, (1987:33) umma uyalulekwa kuthiwe kufanele azithobe kubaba ngeenkhathi zoke nebujamweni boke. Kubuye kuthiwe ukuhlukunyezwa kwakhe kusiphambano sakhe okufuze asithwale bekube sekufeni njengombana kwenza uJesu Krestu.

Kanti uBill Gothard we-Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts yena uthi batjho lokha umma nakazithoba endodenakhe emhlukumezako, ufunda ukubekezelela ukutlhagiswa ngebanga lokulunga (Matewu 5:10). Ngamanye amezwi odulwako kufanele aphethe imitlolo ukuze abonise ukulunga nekghono lokunyamezela bese kudzujulwa KwebeGalatiya 5:22, khisibe odulako yena kuvalwe phetjheya ngaye; namkha kuthiwe, “bazambona abanamehlo!”

U-Andy (2015:33) ukhamba adzubhula imibono yabatloli abahlukahlukeneko bunjesi:

a)    uRuthven (1990) uthi batjho uTertullian owayengomunye wabadosi phambili bezekolo obekuthiwa ma-“Apostolic fathers” umfazi ulisango lakasathana. Godu batjho uthi umfazi ulithempeli elakhiwe phezu kothuvi:

Banengi-ke abakhambisana nombono lo ngitjho nemphakathini wabakholwako. Kunekulumo ethi umfazi yinyoka, kutjhiwo kunqotjhiswe ku-Eva ngombana batjho wakhohlisa u-Adamu. Abafazi nabo bayazibuyiselela bathi indoda yinja ngombana yase ‘yatla’ isithelo ingazange ibuze. Kazi kutjhiwo u-Adamu-ke njalo.   

b)    uRogers (1996) uthi batjho umpostoli uPowula weTarsus ubegade agandelela khulu bonyana abafazi bazithobe emadodeni wabo.

Indaba yokuzithoba kuyabonakala bonyana isuselwa eBhayibhelini ngombana ngitjho nemasikweni wabo boke abantu ephasinapha injalo. Umma ulindeleke bonyana azithobe endodenakhe ngombana indoda iyihloko yomkhaya. Kukhona abayithatha ngommoya omuhle indaba le begodu bayamukele ngokuthula. Kanti nalabo abathotjelwako benza bonyana kube lula ukuthotjelwa. Kukhona-ke ebagugunako indaba le, balikhombe libaba bathi, “Nange ngingakuthobela ungazikhotha!” Khonapho kube ngongaphasi nongaphezulu njengombana sele siphila esikhathini sedemokhrasi nje.

Nokho uJohnson (2015:33) uthi batjho uHove (1999) uhlathulula indaba yakaPowula kuhle kwebeGalatiya 3:28 nakasithi, “AkunamJuda, akunamGrigi, ikhoboka namkha otjhaphulukileko, omduna namkha omsikazi ngombana nimunye noke kuKrestu Jesu.”Umbono kaJohnson uthi batjho indaba yokuzithoba nokuthotjelwa ibekwe ngendlela elingisa uKrestu nebandla. Ngamye amezwi isiga lesi sokuthoba nokuthotjelwa sifaniswa nangendlela ibandla lithobela ngakho uKrestu, godu noKrestu ngendlela athanda ngakho ibandla (Kwebe-Efesu 5:21-33).

UJohnson (2015:33) ubuye athi batjho uRinck (199) encwadinakhe ethi; “Amadoda Akholwako Ahloye Abomma”, uthi kunamadoda athileko emphakathini wabakholwako ahlathulula kumbi abe asebenzise butjhulweni ifundiso yeBhayibheli yokuzithoba. Uthi ifundiso okungiyo yokuzithoba ayisihlangothi linye kodwana kuyathotjelwana. Godu ifundiso le igandelela ukuthandana nokuhloniphana, ingasi ukuthotjiswa ngeenkhwepha. Kanti u West (2003) yena umbono wakhe uthi batjho abobaba abahlukumezako bahlukumeza ihlelo elicwengileko lakaZimu begodu isenzo sabo leso sivinyilika esonweni.

c)    UCathrine banoJames (1996:16-27) bona baveza iinkolelo ezine ezisisekelo amakholwa kanengi aziseka ngazo:

1.    UZimu wakubeka bonyana indoda ikhonye bese umfazi uyazithoba

2.    Umfazi mncani kunendoda nje-ke akakwazi ukwenza iinqunto ekhaya

3.    Ukutlhaga kusisekelo samakholwa khulukhulu sabomma

4.    Amakholwa kufanele acolele msinyana, abuyisane nalabo abawahlukumezako.

Kujayelekile bonyana umma nakahlukunyezwako ngekhaya ulindeleke bonyana acolele ubaba nakube ubaba loyo ubonwa umlandu ngezenzo zakhe. Njengombana kubomma khulukhulu abaya esondweni, ikulumo le isuke ibe namandla ngombana kuthiwa, “Angithi uthi ulikholwa! Alo kuba yini ungacoleli? IBhayibheli lithi usilibalele amacala wethu njengombana nathi sibalibalela abanamacala kithi”(Matewu 6:12) khisibe nokho ukuhlukunyezwa khona kuragela phambili. Nakube umma loyo ulila ngokuthi sele kukanengi amlibalela bese kuthiwe kuye, “Angithi neBhayibheli liyatjho bonyana ulibalele umuntu kube ngokubuyelelwe amatjhumi alikhomba nakhomba?” [Matewu 18:21-22]. Khonapho indaba yokuphenduka kwaloyo ohlukumezako yona ayiphathwa.

## Okutjhiwo LiBhayibheli NgoGenesisi 2:18 Nebe-Efesu 5:22
UGenesisi 2:18 uthi, “USomnini uZimu wathi: ‘Akusikuhle bona umuntu ahlale yedwa. Yeke ngizomenzela **umsizi omfaneleko**.’”

**וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ יְהוָ֣ה אֱלֹהִ֔ים לֹא־טֹ֛וב הֱיֹ֥ות הָֽאָדָ֖ם לְבַדֹּ֑ו אֶֽעֱשֶׂהּ־לֹּ֥ו עֵ֖זֶר כְּנֶגְדֹּֽו**׃ [Wayyomer Yahweh Elohim lo towb heyowt ha-Adam lebaddow eseh low ezer kenegdo]

Leli litjhugululo lesiNdebele lango-2012. Woke amalimi esiwafundako eBhayibhelini alitjhugululo lesiHebheru namkha lesiGirigi. ETestamendeni eliDala ilimi elimsuka siHebheru. Yeke kufanele sibuyele kiso isiHebheru siqale bonyana ikulumo le ithini. Amagama athi, ‘umsizi omfaneleko’ asuselwe kusiHebheru ekulumeni ethi [עזר כנגדו׃] ‘ezer kenegdo’. Ngaphambi kobana siqale ihlathululo yamagama la, kuqakathekile ukuveza bonyana ngokuqalisisa amagama la, akwenziwa imizamo yokuhlaba namkha yokujamelela ihlangothi elithileko. Umnqopho kuveza bona ekhabo lakhona sithini isiHebheru endimeni le.

Igama lokuthoma lithi “ezer” namkha umsizi. NgokwesiHebheru litjho umuntu osiza omunye lokha yena anganamandla wokuzisiza. Umuntu osizako angaba ngonamandla begodu omkhulu kiloyo osizwako namkha kungaba ngomlingani waloyo osizwako ngokwamazinga athileko wepilo. Kufanele sikutjheje-ke lokhu: Akwenzeki bonyana umsizi abe mncani kunosizwako.

Nanyana kungaba ngayiphi indlela kodwana ihlathululo yona itjho bona umsizi wenza umthwalo waloyo osizwako ube lula. Esikhathini esinengi-ke igameli lisetjenziswa ukutjho uSomnini bonyana umsindisi, umsizi, umvikeli, umumenyeli namkha umbhadekeli. Ku-1 Samyeli 7: 12 kuthiwa, “USamyela wathatha ilitje walijamisa phakathi kweMitsipha neTjheni. Walithiya ibizo wathi yi-Ebheni-Ezeri asithi: “Bekube lapha uSomnini usisizile.”  

Igama lesibili lithi khenegdo. NgesiHebheru lingasebenza njengephriphozitjhini litjho ukuthi ngaphambili. Godu lingatjho ukuthi ongafani naye ngobulili namkha ofaneleko. Yeke nasiqala indinyana le ngamanye amezwi ithi:

·       “Ngizomenzela omsizi/umenyeli ozokujama phambi kwakhe.” Siyazi bona umuntu nakwenyelako ujama phambi kwakho ukwenzela bona nanyana yini efuna ukukulimaza ithome ngaye.

·       “Ngizomenzela umsizi ongafani naye ngobulili”

·       “Ngizomenzela umsizi ofaneleko” ngamanye amezwi uzokulingana/uzokukhambisana nesizo afanele amnikele lona.

Incwadi yebe-Efesu 5:22-33 yona ithi, “Bafazi, thobelani amadoda wenu sengathi nithobela iKosi ngombana indoda iyihloko yomfazi, njengombana uKrestu ayihloko yebandla elimzimba wakhe begodu yena aMsindisi walo. Njengombana ibandla limthobela uKrestu, ngokunjalo nabafazi kumele bathobele amadoda wabo kikho koke. Madoda thandani abafazi benu njengombana uKrestu athanda ibandla, wadela ukuphila kwakhe ngebanga lalo. Walicwengisa, walihlanza ngamanzi nangelizwi lakhe begodu waliletha kuye lilibandla elinephazimulo, elinganachaphazi, ukutjhwabana namkha umphambo wananyana yini kodwana licwengile begodu limsulwa. Ngokunjalo namadoda kufanele athande abafazi bawo njengombana athanda imizimba yawo. Othanda umkakhe uzithanda yena ngokwakhe. Akakho owakhe wazonda umzimbakhe kodwana ngiloyo naloyo uyawondla awutlhogomele, njengombana noKrestu asenza ebandleni ngombana sizizitho zomzimbakhe. “Ngalokho-ke indoda izokutjhiya uyise nonina inamathele kumkayo, nje-ke ababili labo babe nyamanye.” Yifihlakalo ekulu le, kodwana ngikhuluma ngoKrestu nebandla. Nokho-ke omunye nomunye wenu kumele athande umkakhe njengombana azithanda yena, nomfazi kumele ahloniphe indodakhe.

Nasiqala eBhayibhelini siyafunyana bonyana uZimu, omnikazi womtjhado, uyithathela phezulu namkha ngokuncama okukhulu indaba yobudlelwana phakathi kwendoda nomfazi kangangobana uyilinganisa nobudlelwana obuphakathi kwakaKrestu nebandla. Lokhu sikubona encwadini yebe-Efesu 5:22. Yeke kuyasibonisa bonyana akukameli ithathwe ngesincele indaba le.  Kuyafuneka-ke bonyana nakudzujulwa indinyana le ingatjhiywa phakathi kodwana kuqalwe indaba yoke lapha ithoma khona bekufike lapha igcina khona. Nasiyifunda kuhle ithi umfazi akathobele indoda yakhe. Lokho akwenze njengalokha ibandla nalithobela uKrestu. Libuye lithi indoda ayithande umkayo. Ithando lelo alibe njengelakaKrestu athanda ngalo ibandla. Umma akaqale bonyana ibandla limthobela njani uKrestu bese naye wenza njalo endodeni yakhe. Indoda ayiqale bona uKrestu ulithanda njani ibandla, naye enze njalo kumkakhe.

Ukrestu akalitlhorisi ibandla, kodwana uyalithanda abe alivikele. Qala incwadi yezEnzo 9:1-4 lapha uKrestu adula khona phasi uSawula ngombani ngombana ahlukumeza ibandla.

Ngemva kobana sele sifumene ihlathululo kaGenesisi 2:18 neyebe-Efesu 5:22 kuyakhanya bonyana kukhona iimponjwana ekudzujulweni kwemitlolo le ukusekela ukuhlukunyezwa kwabomma emendweni. KuGenesisi akukho lapha sifumene khona bonyana umma mncani ebudlelwaneni bomtjhado njengombana kuthatheka emphakathini. ILizwi lakaZimu nabelisithi umma umsizi wakababa azange lithi umma mncani. Siyizwile ihlathululo yesiHebheru mayelana negama elithi umsizi. Kanti nawo amagama athi bazokuba nyamanye atjho bona bamumuntu munye. Alo-ke, kuvelaphi ukobana ngemva sele kuthiwe banyamanye bese kuthiwe omunye mncani omunye mkhulu? Godu ikulumo le ayitjho bona umma akanyaze ubaba angamhloniphi njengombana ingatjho bona ubaba adule namkha atlhorise umma. Nakhe nayibonaphi ihloko yomuntu idulana nomzimba, namkha umzimba uphikisana nehloko? Ihloko isemzimbeni munye, nomzimba unehloko yinye.

Encwadini yebe-Efesu siyafunyana bona ubudlelwano bomtjhado bufaniswa nobudlelwano bakaKrestu nebandla. Kungaba buhlungu nange ubuhle bomuntu bungafaniswa nefarigi. Cabanga sele kuthiwa umuntu lo muhle njengefarigi! Ubudlelwana bakaKrestu nebandla bufaniselwani nobudlelwana bendoda nomfazi nakube indoda ihlukumeza umfazi, nomfazi uhlazisa indoda emendweni?

Kwanga uZimu angazibonakalisa emadodeni ahlukumeza abomma ngendlela efana poro naleyo azibonakalisa ngayo kuSawula obegade ahlukumeza ibandla. Azibonakalise ngokunjalo nakibo abomma abangaphathi kuhle amadoda wabo emendweni. Ngalokho isingathekiso somendo nebandla sizakuba namandla begodu sizwisiseke ngitjho nebantwini abasebenzisa iLizwi lakaZimu butjhilweni ukusekela izenzo ezifana nalezi!

## IMITHOMBOLWAZI