Yanda mutum ke canza dabi'insa

**Taimakon kai** (wanda aka rubuta haɗin kai a cikin Turanci na Amurka) hanya ce ta canjin mutum bisa ga shawarwarin abokan hulɗa. Yana amfani da hanyoyi masu sauƙi. Ana raba lokaci daidai kuma muhimmin abin da mutum ke buƙata a matsayin mai ba da shawara shine ya yi iya ƙoƙarinsa don sauraro da kuma ba da cikakken hankali ga ɗayan. Ba tattaunawa ba ce; manufar ita ce ta tallafa wa mutumin da ke cikin matsayin abokin ciniki don yin aiki ta hanyar batutuwan su ta hanyar kai tsaye.

An tsara haɗin gwiwa ne a farkon shekarun 1950 ta Amurka Harvey Jackins kuma ya samo asali ne a cikin rarrabuwa a cikin ƙungiyar Dianetics (shi kansa a wani ɓangare ya samo asali daga rarrabuwa a gaba ɗaya da cybernetics). Jackins ya kafa Al'ummomin Re-evaluation Counseling (RC), tare da hedikwatar a Seattle, Washington, Amurka. Ɗansa, Tim Jackins, a halin yanzu shine shugaban kasa da kasa na Re-evaluation Counseling da manyan masu alaƙa da shi. Kamar sauran rassan Dianetics kamar Scientology da Landmark Forum, Re-evaluation Counseling yana da siffofi na addini da tsarin jagoranci na mulkin mallaka wanda ke hana rashin amincewa da sukar.

Akwai ƙananan ƙungiyoyi masu zaman kansu da yawa waɗanda suka haifar da rabuwa daga, ko sake aiki na, Shawarwarin sake kimantawa. Babban ɗayan waɗannan shine Co-Counseling International (CCI).

## Tsarin ka'idoji da zato
ka'idar asali ta ba da shawara ta hanyar ba da shawara kan manufar tsarin wahala. Wadannan alamu ne na halayyar, wato, halayyar da ake maimaitawa a cikin wani nau'in yanayi, wanda ba shi da ma'ana, mara amfani ko tilastawa. Ka'idar ita ce waɗannan alamu suna motsawa ne ta hanyar sakamakon da aka tara a cikin tunani (ba a halin yanzu ba) abubuwan da suka faru a baya wanda mutumin bai iya bayyana ko fitar da motsin zuciyar da ta dace da taron ba. Haɗin kai yana ba da damar saki daga alamu ta hanyar ba da izinin "rashin motsin rai" na abubuwan da suka faru a baya. Irin wannan fitowar cathartic ya haɗa da kuka, gumi mai dumi, rawar jiki, yawning, dariya da shakatawa, magana mara maimaitawa. A rayuwar yau da kullun, waɗannan ayyukan "sakewa" na iya iyakance su ta hanyar ka'idojin zamantakewa, kamar, alal misali, taboos game da kuka, waɗanda suka yadu a al'adu da yawa.

Samun kulawa ta wucin gadi, ba a bada ta ba, mai tallafawa daga wani mutum sau da yawa yana haifar da samun karfi ga wannan mutumin; mai ba da shawara sau da yawa yakan zama babban abokinka na rayuwa. Wani lokaci mutane "sun ƙaunaci juna". Wannan yayi kama da abin da ya faru na canja wurin, musamman lokacin da aka ji daya daga cikin abokan hulɗa yana da iko saboda, alal misali, sun fi gogewa, malamai ne na ba da shawara, ko kuma suna da matsayi na iko a cikin kungiyar. Kungiyoyin sun bambanta a hanyoyin da suke magance wannan. Rashin amincewa da jin daɗi a cikin dangantaka ta ainihi wani lokacin ana kara shi ta hanyar kusanci da dangantakar ba da shawara, yana mai da canja wuri mai yiwuwa. Amma ana ƙarfafa mahalarta sosai kuma ana tallafawa don ba da shawara ta hanyar waɗannan jiye-jiye, sau da yawa suna haifar da canje-canje masu zurfi a cikin hangen nesa da iyawarsu game da kusanci. Ga mafi yawancin, dangantakar ba da shawara ta zama dindindin, haɗin gwiwar warkewa wanda ke bawa mahalarta damar samun dangantaka mai kyau gabaɗaya.

## Yanayin warkarwa
Yawancin masu ba da shawara suna ɗaukar ra'ayi, sau da yawa da ƙarfi, cewa ba da shawara ba magani ba ne. Da farko, wannan ya faru ne saboda sake kimantawa ya yanke shawarar kada ya zana wani horo na psychotherapy don ka'idar da aikinsa,  kodayake RC ya haɗa da wasu ra'ayoyi daga psycho-analysis kamar "mahimmanci mara hankali" wanda Jackins ya daidaita kuma ya sake lakafta "maidowa". Wasu masu ba da shawara wadanda ba na RC ba suna ɗaukar irin wannan ra'ayi waɗanda ke ɗaukar maganin ƙwaƙwalwa kamar yadda ya haɗa da dabarun ƙwararru da likitan ke amfani da su akan abokin ciniki sabili da haka ba takara ba ne kuma abokin ciniki yana da ƙarancin iko ko babu iko akan tsari.

Sauran suna la'akari da cewa ba da shawara tare shine psychotherapeutic, saboda yana ba da damar canji ko magani don faruwa a cikin tunanin mutum, tasirin rai ko kasancewa na mutum. Haɗin gwiwar yana ɗaukar ra'ayi mai kyau game da mutum (watau dukkanmu masu kyau ne), yana ɗaukar hankali da jiki a matsayin haɗin kai kuma yana amincewa da darajar catharsis; ana ɗaukarsa azaman hanyar shiga cikin Ilimin halayyar ɗan adam, ra'ayi wanda wasu a cikin RC za su ƙi.

## Shawarwarin sake kimantawa
 

## Kungiyar hadin kai ta funiya
Co-Counselling International (CCI) an fara shi ne a shekara ta 1974 a matsayin mai tsagewa daga Re-evaluation Counseling ta John Heron, wanda a lokacin shi ne darektan Human Potential Research Project, Jami'ar Surrey UK, da Tom Sargent da Dency Sargent daga Connecticut" id="mwTA" rel="mw:WikiLink" title="Hartford, Connecticut">Hartford, Connecticut, Amurka.  Ba kamar sauran rabuwa daga RC ba, wanda ya shafi canje-canje na jagoranci amma in ba haka ba ya ci gaba da yin aiki ta irin wannan hanyar RC, rabuwa ta CCI ta kasance ta akida, kuma CCI ta ci gaba a hanyoyi daban-daban.

## Dangantaka tsakanin CCI da RC
Ba a ambaci wanzuwar wasu kungiyoyin masu ba da shawara a cikin RC ba, kuma masu ba da shawarar RC galibi ba su san wanzuwarsu ba.

Daga cikin wadanda ke cikin RC wadanda suka san game da shi, CCI galibi ana ganinta a matsayin "kungiyar kai hari" kuma Jackins ya yi Allah wadai da ita a cikin tattaunawar sirri da jama'a da yawa, wanda ya yi iƙirarin cewa Heron ya fara shi ne da takamaiman yarjejeniya ba, kuma a karya jagororin RC da ya riga ya amince da shi. Hakanan, Heron da yawancin magoya bayansa sun yi iƙirarin cewa RC mai iko ne kuma mai kama da Addini, kuma daga baya, cewa Jackins ya shiga cikin cin zarafin jima'i na abokan ciniki. Magoya bayan RC sun yi la'akari da cewa CCI ta inganta yanayin jima'i wanda ya rushe iyakokin haɗin gwiwa da dangantaka. 

Tarihin haɗin gwiwar ba da shawara ciki har da asalinsa tare da RC ana koyar da shi a kan darussan CCI Fundamentals. CCI, ta hanyar yanayinta, ba shi da ra'ayi na kamfanoni game da RC, kuma masu ba da shawara na CCI suna da ra'ayoyinsu. Yawancin masu ba da shawara na CCI suna da ra'ayi mai kyau game da RC, game da shi a matsayin daban, madadin hanyar ba da shawara. Kasancewa memba na RC ba wani shinge ne ga kasancewa memba na CCI ba, kuma 'yan mutane suna gudanar da su duka duk da haramcin RC.

## Manazarta