Title: The Kitchen God's Guide for Single Guys
Description: Who am I to call myself a Kitchen God? That’s easy - I am a magical being, vast in knowledge and experience. Although I'm not omnipotent, I come pretty close - sometimes. Outside the kitchen, I only have influence where food is sold (supermarkets, convenience stores, and such places). There I occasionally advise such individuals who are male and single. My power weakens with married guys, and I could care less about the females.

Inside the kitchen with a single guy who is my student, I have great powers of suggestion. I can scan the contents of a refrigerator in a single glance and instantly provide a half dozen tasty ideas. I can even guide the hand to select and add acceptable levels of spices. Take my word for it. I am who I say I am - the Kitchen God, OK?

I am dictating this book to my earth-bound chosen disciple. This is the beginner's guide to basic survival in the kitchen. You will master my basic laws, learn how to perform a few rituals and study all of the various safety processes. If my guidelines are followed religiously, the recipes I provide below will instill in you a sense of adventure and self-sufficiency. Follow my recommendations and suggestions and you will enjoy the consumption of food, instead of considering it to be only fuel. As you become more experienced, I will provide inspirations of brilliant food ideas and thereby make life a bit more enjoyable.

My presence will be known by the food you create. When mundane ingredients are mixed together, and a wonderful taste experience occurs, that is because of me. I personally jogged your elbow and guided your hands.

I will teach you the proper rituals necessary to successful interaction between yourself, food and the kitchen tools. Learn and you'll eat well for the rest of your life. Dismiss my messages and you won't be able to make toast.

As the Kitchen God to single guys, I am your guide and mentor. My responsibility is to prepare you to eat well and enjoy the consumption of flavorful food. Learn at my feet, my son. You are one of mine. I will educate you into the mysteries and wonders of tasty consumables. Accept my teachings and trust my words.

I am aware that there are a great many cook books out there that proclaim to be the source of great cooking. A quick search on Amazon will list hundreds and hundreds. Many of them are but poor efforts by unguided individuals who know not the glory I could have bestowed on them. Many are by women, some by gourmets, and others are just pitiful.

But also know that the path and way of the Kitchen God allows my followers to take those efforts and salvage them. My students will cleverly add and substitute ingredients to achieve a much better tasting representation worthy to be consumed by single men. Therefore, it is acceptable to have other collections of recipes in your kitchen. Simply apply my inspiration to the ingredient list and you will have food worthy of the Kitchen God – me.
Subjects: kitchen, cooking, bachelor, food