Title: Red meat cures cancer
Description: Sky Thorne, 46-year old Senior V.P. of fast food renegade Tailburger, has problems. According to his tyrannical boss, Frank Fanoflincoln, a.k.a. "the Link," if Sky doesn't get the company's market share up to five percent by the end the year, he's going to lose his job and with it, any chance of collecting the pension he's months away from earning. To make matters worse, the new, can't miss Torture Me marketing campaign that Sky is counting on to spur sales is failing miserably, forcing Sky to consider the less savory option of using his best friend's pornography empire to hawk Tailburger's fried meat over the internet. Besides slumping sales, Sky's battling the rabid lobbying organization S.E.R.M.O.N. (Stop Eating Red Meat Now), a politically-motivated New York Attorney General and a dysfunctional board of directors featuring the Link's golf-obsessed triplets Ned, Ted and Fred. If all this wasn't enough, Sky's older brother, King, after stints as a rebel with Colombia's F.A.R.C. and a steward with Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines, has moved into Sky's house and begun preaching the far eastern philosophy of Qigong, assuring Sky that the path to personal happiness lies in channeling his "chee" through his eight ancient meridians. All Sky really wants is a good woman, inner peace and enough money to maintain both, but it won't be easy.
Subjects: Marketing executives, Fiction, Convenience foods, Marketing, Fast food restaurants, Food industry and trade, Food habits, Fiction, humorous, general
Places: United States