Do you Love someone who is Infertile?
Subtitle: What you can do to help her.  What to say to support her. (and what you should never do or say.)
Edition: 1st
Publisher: The Stewart Institute
Published: October 2009
Place of publication: Louisville, KY
Language: eng
ISBN-13: 9780984178506
Subjects: infertility
Genres: non-fiction
First sentence: You know it and so does she.  This amazing woman in your life--loving, kind, funny, and smart--would make the most wonderful mother.  You have watched, often feeling helpless yourself, as her dream, her need, and her longing to hold her child eludes her.
Description: Do you Love someone who is Infertile?  What you can do to help her. What to say to support her. (and what you should never say.) is a guidebook for the friends and family of an infertile woman. These are the people who love her, but maybe for the first time in their relationship, are uncertain how to translate that love into the words and actions she needs.  This guide invites loved ones into the world of an infertile woman. By understanding what she feels and experiences, the readers can begin to understand why she needs their support.  Once they understand her pain and grief, however, many people, are still unsure about what to say or do.  Sometimes their best intentions result in painful advice, admonitions, or platitudes. 

This guide offers specific and practical suggestions about what to say and do and what to never say. It includes journal questions so the readers can decide the best way to apply the book's guidance, by taking into account their unique knowledge of the infertile woman they love. Do you Love someone who is Infertile? is for the husband, sister, friend, or parent who can't fix her infertility and may feel helpless.  The good news is there is so much they can do to support, comfort, and empower her in, what many infertile women describe as, the fight of their life.

There is an opportunity for those who love an infertile woman, to change her life forever.  What you do, when she is at her most vulnerable, can either lessen her pain, or add to her grief—but in either case, your relationship with her will be changed profoundly.  This guidebook reaches out to friends and family in a way that is gentle and inviting and recognizes the pain they too experience.  It contains numerous vignettes that help the reader connect to the information on a personal level. It is a beautiful book that draws you in with pictures, quotes, stories, and practical advise.

The opening letter is addressed to an infertile woman, who may purchase the book for her loved ones. This letter from the author recognizes and honors her pain and encourages her to realize how difficult it is for friends and family to know how to support her.  The author points out, “you and I wouldn’t have understood the needs of an infertile woman before our own diagnoses.”

Do you Love someone who is Infertile? offers insight into an infertile woman’s everyday world and how special days and occasions, such as Mother's Day or baby showers affect her--as well as how you can support her during those times.  Other topics include, how to respond to her spiritual questioning—Why God?, what to say if she's considering discontinuing treatment, and how her anger can help or hinder her.

This book comes from Shari Stewart’s decade as an infertile woman and as a psychotherapist treating infertile woman.  It is co-written by her best friend of twenty years, Julia Krahm, a woman who walked with Shari through infertility, supporting her, but also sometimes floundering, not knowing how to care for her friend.  The knowledge and insight gained by the two authors, as well as that of many of Shari Stewart’s infertile clients, is offered so friends and family can avoid some of their mistakes and instead offer hope and care and strength to the infertile women they love.