Together We Heal
Subtitle: A Real-Life Portrait of Recovery in Group Therapy for Adult Children
Edition: Second
Publisher: Infinity Publishing
Published: September 2004
Language: eng
Format: Paperback
Number of pages: 317
ISBN-13: 9780741420329
Subjects: Coping with drug & alcohol abuse; Codependency; Substance Abuse & Addictions - General; Self-Help / Codependency; Self-Substance Abuse & Addictions - General; Self-Help
Description: Many adult lives are affected by the loss of their childhood. For some, as with the participants in Together We Heal: A Real-Life Portrait of Group Therapy (for adult children of alcoholics and others who identify), these losses were generated by chemical dependency in the family. But whatever the deprivation, the adult living problems are typically similar: relationships, sexual behavior and abuse, work, trust, and parenting. Many, in an effort to feel and function better, seek counseling. 

This book takes the reader into the private practice of Szifra (Shifra) Birke. Each week, each meeting, these individuals share their experiences, strengths and hopes with one another. The group members talk about everything—sex and sexual abuse, fear of intimacy, jobs, spouses, difficulty trusting, and what to do about alcoholic parents and siblings. 

RECOVERY IS A PROCESS, NOT AN EVENT.
Together We Heal offers insight into that process. 

On a rainy afternoon, eight people arrive at a large, comfortable office for their first group therapy meeting. They are emotionally high—some apprehensive, some fearful, all anxious. The group is diverse: male, female, married, single, divorced, young, older, middle aged. They are about to begin a series of group therapy meetings for adult children of alcoholics.

As the therapist, we find Szifra assessing, leading and offering help. Each week, each meeting, Szifra listens and encourages group members to talk. She is a believable—and human—therapist and person. Among other things, you discover that her parents are Holocaust survivors.

Readers also meet 8 others including: 
Kathy — the co-author of this book—while her family prayed for world peace, she cried because she only wanted peace at home. 
Roger — a college student whose “pretend serenity” helped him survive as a child but led him to his own alcoholism. 
Linda — who married so young just to escape her alcoholic family. 
Susan — “I wish I’d known the word PERFECT didn’t exist.” 
Trina — “The only way I survived was to start drinking.” 
Michael — “I survived by getting away.” 
Sarah — “When I was 12, my friend Elaine came to spend the night. My Dad became angry, yelled at us and made us sit at the kitchen table. My sister was at one end and Elaine and I sat on either side of her. Dad gathered all the ashtrays in the house and started throwing them at my sister. At one point, Dad paused, looked at Elaine and said, ‘Don’t worry, honey. I’m not going to hurt anybody.’” 

Each meeting is like a stand-alone short story. Readers say, “It’s really hard to stop reading. I identify with so many people in the group. It was addictive!”

If you've ever made progress in therapy, you will recognize both the problems—and the progress: fear-based negative emotions diminishing, denial melting away, initial inability to face issues, and so on.

If you have never been to therapy, you’ll now know what it is; and more important, you may be missing out on what could be the most rewarding and transforming experience of your life.