The Chronicles of Blarnia
Subtitle: The Lying Bitch in the Wardrobe: A Story for the Childish
Edition: First edition
Publisher: Gollancz
Published: September 15, 2005
Place of publication: London, England, UK
Format: Hardcover
Number of pages: 264
ISBN-13: 9780575077201
Subjects: Fantasy; Modern fiction; Parodies & spoofs
First sentence: Once there were four children names Pete, Sue, Ed and Loo, and this story is about something that happened to them when their parents sold them for medical experiments.
Description: ‘This is all the land of Blarnia,’ said the Faun. ‘From the traffic light in the western woods to the great castle of Cair Amel on the eastern sea, bordered on the south by Oz, on the west by Middle Earth, and on the north by Made-upistan.’

‘I – I got in through the wardrobe,’ said Loo.

Mr Dumbness looked at her in disbelief. ‘You got here through a wardrobe?’ he asked. ‘What are you, high?’

The explanatory title to this book is ‘The Lying Bitch in the Wardrobe’. This is all you need to know about it before diving in

A much loved classic of fantasy literature written by a grumpy, pipe smoking don in a smelly tweedy jacket being turned into a massive worldwide cinema hit.
Notes: £6.99
Printing statement: "1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2"