Reserved For Emperors
Subtitle: Selected Blogs: January 2005 through June 2006
Publisher: Lulu.com
Published: August 22, 2006
Language: eng
Format: Paperback
Number of pages: 236
ISBN-13: 9781847288011
Subjects: Humour; General; Humor / General; Humor
First sentence: In the beginning, I hated blogs.
Description: Aaron Dietz unleashes his first collection of blogs with over 90 pages of additional commentary! He explains why he is better than you! He tells you how to start an earthquake for free!
Table of contents: title: The Beginning; title: I will move to Paris and learn the piano; title: Fire Me Please; title: I took a personality test and failed; title: This may not sweeten the deal at all but I will totally put out in addition to doing data entry; title: Yay! The Corporation makes me fatter!; title: Will I listen to myself?!; title: I am just like that guy in Basic Instinct; title: The Mysteries of...The Corporation!; title: I discover the true nature of...The Corporation!; title: Hey Kids, Dressing Up Every Day Sucks!; title: Jeremy Is Great; title: An Evening With Sarah: A Fugitive Warlord; title: Houston, I will make everything I say more dramatic!; title: I am the heart and soul of Lagavulin; title: Do not drink and blog; title: Everything is such a chore; title: My Best Friend, Bill Dawes; title: My dirty phone conversation with BiBi Cambridge; title: Ever Wonder About My Penis?; title: Hospitals of Seattle--you will be busy 9 months from tonight!; title: I'm sorry, female friends--I was unaware of how badly I was treating you; title: The Best Laid Plans of The Redhead; title: For All Who Haven't Found Their Special Someone; title: So, I got a roommate; title: It were men that done this!; title: Oh, Russian Lady, Why Did You Ever Leave Me?; title: Oh, Tomato Soup, Why Did You Ever Leave Me?; title: Thanks, it would have been helpful to know that before I cooked the entire fucking pizza; title: Hi. I am a fucktard. Please give my life meaning now.; title: This is why there are no more heroes; title: And that's when I discovered vital information about soaking peanut butter knives; title: Ha ha! You noticed something!; title: Once, I broke a bed at a hotel; title: Once, A Woman Thought I Was Impotent; title: Once, a girl accidentally implied that I should get naked; title: I decided a man's name once; title: A Jerkface Harassed Me This One Time; title: The answer is NO, nobody really knows what time it is; title: Public Service Announcement: I Am Not A Map; title: So, how does it feel to make out with your sibling?; title: The Secret of Existence; title: Verisimilitude; title: The Trouble With Time Travel; title: I'm A Lesbian!; title: See How My Big Toe Dances!; title: And Now It's Time To Review A Classic: Joust; title: Oh Camus, you are appreciated, still; title: Oh Eggers, may you be appreciated ever more; title: Oh Hemingway, you will be appreciated ever more; title: The People vs. The Church That I Once Took A Picture Of; title: I am a judge in a Barbie doll fashion contest!; title: Rhode Island: A Public Relations Gimmick Gone Too Far?; title: The good thing about cancer; title: The Good Thing About When People Fly Planes Into Buildings; title: A Transcript: President Bush's First Meeting On September 11, 2001; title: If you don't know your history...; title: Where is your magic death toll counting machine now?; title: A Fan Letter from Jacques Dominique; title: And here is just one reason why I am better than you; title: And now, another reason why I am better than you; title: And here is yet another reason why I am better than you; title: And here is yet another reason why I am better than you; title: I have beaten you, CIA Agent Jones!; title: CIA Agent Jones Tricked Me!; title: Look! There it is again, whatever it is!; title: How My Allergy Caused Me To Harass A Woman; title: Zorgnarf: Alien Inventor; title: Sometimes it's best to do nothing...; title: People should really keep better track of their alluring underwear; title: You Are Not Wearing Any Clothes; title: I am so going to spork you; title: Cling Wrap: What Is It Good For?; title: Cats: What Are They Good For?; title: The Night I May or May Not Have Met Kate Beckinsale, Version 1; title: The Night I May or May Not Have Met Kate Beckinsale, Version 2; title: The Night I May or May Not Have Met Kate Beckinsale, Version 3; title: My Close Encounter With That One Movie; title: A Mosquito Destroys What Is Left Of My Sex Life; title: It was a dream and I take NO responsibility; title: And That's Why My Dad Drives So Slow; title: Roadnotes: Denver 1; title: Roadnotes: Denver 2; title: Roadnotes: Denver 3; title: I'm as good as dead; title: I hand out batting titles as if by magic (oh, and baseball sucks); title: How To Start An Earthquake For Free; title: How To Start An Earthquake For Free, Method 2; title: How To Start An Earthquake For Free, Method 3; title: Hacking the Marvel Universe; title: You have to be smarter than smart to be considered smart; title: The Problem With America's Future Alternative Method of Transportation; title: My shoelace will soon break...; title: My shoelace didn't break; title: If you want use the word investigatory, please to use the word investigative instead; title: And here is what I don't like about "new" words that are basically just abbreviations; title: The Writing Twilight Zone: The One Word Language; title: THE THE THE THE THE; title: I Am Robot, Hear My Beep!; title: I am a shitty writer; title: By my own genious, I will save you from a pointless existence