Lanky spoken here
Subtitle: A guide to the Lancashire dialect
By: [by] Dave Dutton ; illustrated by Bill Tidy.
Publisher: M. and J. Hobbs; in association with Michael Joseph
Published: 1978
Place of publication: Walton-on-Thames; London
Language: eng
Format: Hardcover
Number of pages: 80
Subjects: English language -- Dialects -- England -- Lancashire.; Popular culture -- England -- Lancashire.; Lancashire (England) -- Social life and customs.; Lancashire (England) -- Languages.
First sentence: A tripe curtain has descended across Britain, sithee. Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
Description: This is your survival guide in the linguistic minefield that is 'Lanky' - an indispensable phrase book for the 'foreign' visitor as he attempts to communicate in deepest Lancashire.

* Would you like it if you were the recipient of a Wigan kiss?
* Should you go to a Lanky dinner at lunchtime or a tea at dinnertime?
* If someone refers to you as an old stocking top, what should your attitude be?
* What are the real identities of Gracie Chips and Willy Eckerslike?
* Why does a Lanky Chauvinist Pig always carry two short planks under his arm?

If the answers to these questions flummox you and give you yedwarch, then you NEED Lanky Spoken Here!

** With fifteen hilarious cartoons by Bill Tidy!

Dave Dutton is a succesful comedy scriptwriter and has written for television stars like Ronnie Corbett, Dick Emery, Les Dawson, The Two Ronnies and Ken Dodd, among others. He is also the co-author of the definitive guide to sandwich making - The Ken Dodd Butty Book.
Table of contents: title: Foreword
pagenum: 9; title: The Lanky Definite Article
pagenum: 11; title: Basic Expressions
pagenum: 11; title: Lanky Table Etiquette
pagenum: 13; title: Eating Out in Lancashire
pagenum: 15; title: Road Signs
pagenum: 19; title: Useful Equipment to Take to Lancashire
pagenum: 20; title: At the Public House
pagenum: 23; title: How to Recognise a Lanky Chauvinist Pig
pagenum: 30; title: Insults
pagenum: 32; title: Fighting Talk
pagenum: 38; title: Some Affectionate Terms
pagenum: 43; title: Buying Clothes
pagenum: 45; title: Visiting the Doctor
pagenum: 47; title: Occupations
pagenum: 52; title: Features
pagenum: 54; title: All Together Now!
pagenum: 60; title: Expletives
pagenum: 62; title: Sayings
pagenum: 64; title: The Weather
pagenum: 67; title: Useful Words and Phrases
pagenum: 68; title: Eee It's a Lowf Innit!
pagenum: 76