Selective Memories of Vietnam  1969-1970
Publisher: 1st Books Library
Published: April 18, 2002
Language: eng
Format: Paperback
Number of pages: 328
ISBN-13: 9780759678057
Subjects: American history: Vietnam War; Asian history: Vietnam War; War & defence operations; Military; Biography & Autobiography; Biography / Autobiography; Biography/Autobiography; USA; Vietnam; Military - Vietnam War; Biography & Autobiography / Military; History-Military - Vietnam War
First sentence: I was a member of the team that came in second in the South East Asian War games.
Description: The Life Of A Person Was As Worthless As One Of A Mosquito", January 30, 2010 
By  Bernie Weisz "a historian specializing in the. Vietnam War , Pembroke Pines,Florida e mail address:BernWei1@aol.com 


 I have read thousands of memoirs, W.W. II, the Korean War, and especially the Vietnam conflict, and never have I come across such a hard hitting, emotion inducing tell all recounting that misses nothing! Jack Head gets it all in "Selective Memories", from how he was scooped up in the draft by accident, to his being rushed through stateside training so that Uncle Sam could have him in 'Nam for the feared 1969 North Vietnamese "Tet Offensive". Head expresses his experiences in the 11th Light Infantry Brigade, Americal Division,  recounting how his unit was on isolated and remote mountaintops accessible only by helicopter.  Incredulously,  they were unsupervised without any career military personnel nor officers, fighting the enemy with useless and unusable training that was totally unsuited to the sweaty jungles of Vietnam. The book concludes on a dour note, with his faith in America's capability to fight a war against a non-traditional enemy destroyed. As I finished the last page of Head's book, I wondered, "Are we doing this today in Iraq? 
Jack Head never intended to write this book. In 1994, Head visited a friend in Montreal, Canada, named Norman Lebeau. After Lebeau asked Head about his tour of duty in 1969, the floodgates of atrocities Head had been a witness to, took part in, or heard of came flowing out. This is where the title of this comes in. Head remarked to Lebeau that the life of a person in Vietnam was as worthless as one of a mosquito! Why did Head keep quiet for over 25 years? Like scores of Vietnam veterans that have similar tales, Head came back to his country hiding his uniform, afraid of being called a "baby killer", completely alone.  Neither his family nor his friends could understand his ordeal in S.E. Asia. After 14 months in the Army, the Army also didn't want him, deeming him "damaged goods". Lebeau coaxed a reluctant Head to write down his story, at the very least for his children and grandchildren, exculpating his guilt and anger. "Selective Memories of Vietnam" was written as therapy for Jack Head, at the very least to be remembered.The Second Tour Head included a sign he saw that speaks for scores of silent Vietnam veterans that go unrecognized. It was at the "Ha Thanh Special Forces Camp" in the Americal Division which ominously read: "You have never lived till you have almost died. For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the protected will never know".
Jack Head starts out the book explaining that he was taking classes at Kentucky Wesleyan College in Owensboro, Kentucky. Needing a break from his studies, he went to a local bar for a few beers.The ABC (Alcohol Beverage Commission) came to this bar to look for underage drinkers. Head was asked for both his driver's license and draft card. Never registering for it and venturing on with his life, the ABC man told Head he had 30 days to register or go to jail and pay a penalty. Originally from Framingham, Massachusetts, Head returned home after finals and went to the County Court to register. He lamented: "I was a marked man from that day forth. The federal government wanted me in their employment just as soon as possible". With his future wife, Lanie, in Kentucky, Head quit his summer job, lost his student deferment, and was promptly drafted. His description of his basic training was a "turn style tour" of Fort Knox, Kentucky, to Fort Polk, Louisiana, Fort Lewis, Washington, and finally a new way to go to war, a one way T.W.A. Airlines ticket to Cam Ranh Bay, Vietnam. 

His first observation of being in the military was that his life was completely in the hands of other people, leaving Head with no control.  Not interested in making friends, and keeping his focus on getting through basic training alive, Head wrote that it was a depressing atmosphere that all the recruits expected to go to Vietnam, with most never coming back. Most of the recruits walked around in a trance, and Head wrote: "Everyone from the top down talked to us (many of whom had been to 'Nam) implying a great dislike for the whole mess:disgust with the President's policy, the policy in general, and the lack of realism shown by Washington". Nobody was buying the ideology of Communist containment, i.e. the "Domino Theory". If Communism wasn't checked in S.E. Asia, other countries would fall like dominoes until it finally reached U.S. shores. Who even heard of Ho Chi Minh, no less Vietnam? But J.F.K's "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" prevailed and the commercial airways flew over half a million men to Indochina, with only a wall in Washington D.C. and 60,000 names of dead young Americans inscribed on it as the result. 

Mr. Head made many comments about basic training that were noteworthy. Initially training with the M-14 assault rifle, then later switching to the M-16, he noted: "When we were issued the M-16 to fire, we were also issued a little plastic container of oil. During our cleaning training, we were told to use lots of the oil. I knew that there must be a reason for the lack of confidence our instructors had in the weapon. Later I would find out that many Americans died because of a design flaw in the firing chamber of the M-16". He also wrote a letter right before being shipped overseas to his parents, exclaiming: "We eat, are shown movies and slides, read articles, and are shown pictures almost daily for the good and just cause we are "helping". We are told that soon they (the South Vietnamese) will be back on their feet and able to handle their own people and boundaries against the Communist influence. Nonsense! How can we be so bad off as to not look at our own history. I can't see how in the world we got involved in this mess. What is worse, we are stagnating there on the same position-burying American after American for someone else's cause when we have other problems eating at our own security, faith, and dignity, right on our own shores". Jack Head had a keen sense of the morass our nation was getting into on this letter dated Sept. 28, 1968. 

Another interesting, albeit useless item Head was taught to prepare him for Vietnam was digging foxholes. Once in Vietnam, left isolated with his unit on a mountainous outpost called "Landing Zone Jeff", he recalled: "Later I would learn there wasn't a chance in hell that we could dig one of these things. It would take dynamite or something from the Roadrunner's Acme Company to dig a hole on that mountaintop". Seeing kids flunking out of basic training because they couldn't do one pushup or hang from a parallel bar for a few seconds, and conversely, watching released convicts from Fort Leavenworth being given a chance to serve out their sentence by fighting in Vietnam, Head couldn't believe the inconsistencies he witnessed. Almost being bitten by a snake and stung by a scorpion, his final foreboding before departing for the "Land of the Tiger" (Vietnam's nickname) was: "I was sure that Vietnam, damp and humid as it was, would have lots of "things" that would love to have me for lunch". 

Landing on T.W.A at Cam Ranh Bay, South Vietnam, Head deplaned with the stewardess telling him "have a nice war!" Immediately noticing the haphazard way the military hastily constructed the base, it was obvious the U.S. was not prepared for a protracted conflict. Strapped in like cattle in a cargo bearing C-140, Head was flown north to his final staging area, the Americal Division Headquarters at Chi Lai. After takeoff, a sergeant announced: "The flight will be an hour and a half. We haven't issued you parachutes since we won't be flying high enough to use them. Besides, if you go down, you would be better off dead than captured by the VC". Head's first observations of Chu Lai were as follows: "Bulldozers were flattening large areas around the training area. Men were erecting more and more tents and building more streets, airways and bunkers. Those in charge gave little or no thought to erosion control. Hell, we didn't plan on being there long enough to see the results of our landscaping projects. Across the peninsula to my right, high in the blue and green mountains, 2 divisions of the North Vietnamese Army were hiding". Head's description of the weather was standard: "There wasn't a trace of a breeze and it felt like a sauna despite the fact that the sides (of the tent) were rolled up. My lungs burned with each breath and sweat felt cool as it rolled off my face and down my back". 

Jack Head was beyond himself when he heard the U.S. strategy of waging this war. Attrition was the official name, and "body counts" falsified and exaggerated were standard practice. Aside from the unit with the most enemy dead found winning front row seats at the "Bob Hope annual concert", Head included a comment from Colin Powell's book, which stated:"Enemy bodies did not have to be brought back. Every night, the company would make a tally, "How many did your platoon get?" I don't know. We saw 2 for sure," "Well, if you saw 2, then there was probably 8, so let's say 10". See colin powell's book: "My American Journey".  Counting bodies became a macabre statistical competition. Companies were measured against companies, and good commanders scored high body counts. And good commanders got promoted. If your competition was inflating the counts, could you afford not to?" Head compared Vietnam to a football game, where if the U.S. inflicted more pain on the N.V.A then they inflicted on us, we would come out the winner. But unlike a football game, where everyone came out in one piece, Head eerily remarked: "Many would never leave it. Some would mentally stay in Vietnam forever. Others would leave parts of their bodies littering the jungle, rice fields, and dirt roads. I knew we would lose parts of ourselves in Vietnam. I knew our government had invited itself to come play at our expense and I wasn't looking forward to playing it." As a final sarcastic quip to the fictitious death count, Head wrote: "according to the final numbers in 1975, we killed enough of the enemy to wipe out the total population of the country more than a few times, But I can assure you, there were still plenty of people in 'Nam when we left." 

If Head knew what he was up against before he left for Vietnam, why did he go to Canada? He answers that by saying: "I didn't because of a principle my dad taught me, He taught me to do the honorable thing. Do what I was asked". Head covered everything. Burning feces in 50 gallon containers with diesel fuel.  The "Dear John" letters received by his fellow G.I.'s announcing their wives or girlfriend's infidelity. The sick jokes: "We sang songs about being shot, blown up, and maimed as we marched. We joked about our wives and girlfriends back home-"her" boyfriend driving our car. "At least he had to pay for the gas he was using". We sang with a laugh". In the 11th Infantry Brigade, Head was placed in a mortar platoon, becoming an expert at his accuracy. Head earned respect as well as the moniker "Headhunter" for obvious reasons, and wrote: "The mortar platoon protected and saved many American lives because of their dedication to the skill of mortaring". 

Serving on remote mountaintops that were  carved out by aerial bombing and were burned off with napalm, his unit was airlifted to the tops of these hills  with Chinook helicopters 
delivering by hook his mortar pieces. With no officers in charge, Hood and his confused infantrymen survived with the knowledge they gained in their childhoods, trying to figure out who was the enemy. To that, Head wrote that aside from the regular N.V.A., "We found the enemy to include women, children, as well as old people. Everyone was a suspect and no one could be trusted. There was no way of knowing who was on your side and who wasn't. Sometimes, I think they weren't sure themselves as the war had been going on for generations". Head wrote of "double agents" working during the day inside U.S. compounds, reporting with deadly accuracy  to the enemy targets to be mortared by night. He also examined  the enemy's usage of tunnels as escape routes. Incredibly, one G.I. dug a foxhole and fell 90 feet down a tunnel into a huge room that served as a hospital and could accomodate  over 300 people. 
The sad part of this book is Head's constant emphasis on each soldier just surviving his tour of duty, counting his days down to go home (D.E.R.O.S.) and no formal instruction on how to use anything. To that, he wrote:  "More OJT (on the job training) was a necessity since we received very little training on the 4.2" mortar while in the states. We seldom saw any Echo Company officers or "paid army personnel." What we learned, we learned from others. People who had been drafted to service  were counting the days to get out of the military, not just counting the days to D.E.R.O.S (Date of estimated return from overseas service). Head claims millions of government money was spent firing useless rounds at the enemy with no result. Head asserted: "To the best of my knowledge, after firing 10,000 rounds during the 10 months on LZ Amy, the 4.2" mortar platoon had no confirmed kills. We might have had some, but the jungle was so thick that unless you tripped over a body or smelled it you probably wouldn't have discovered it. We shot off a lot of taxpayer's money from that mountain". 

Head wrote of frightening times when his landing zone was almost overrun by NVA sappers. Since his outpost was totally reliant on helicopters, inclement weather prevented air resupply. His unit ran out of water for a few days. Head wrote of his desensitization: "I was amazed how easy it was to fire the 81 mm at the enemy. I had been desensitized more than I thought. I didn't think I was shooting at a VC, NVA , or a Gook. I was just eliminating the enemy". Of his boredom: "We were bored. Boy, were we bored. Except for taking our malaria pill each day and 1 big pill weekly, we had little to do (outside of staying alive and firing the tubes in support of our grunts in the field)". Head claims he knows of a U.S. reporter shot and killed by a G.I. for pestering him with badgering questions at a bad time. He also expressed his disgust of Jane Fonda's visit with the enemy.  To that, Head wrote: "Thanks to Hanoi Jane (a.k.a. Jane Fonda), men died, and the U.S. Government will never try her for treason". Head also gave his opinion on Lt. Calley and the My Lai Massacre, after Calley wiped out a village that directly killed 75% of his men in the first six months of working that area of operation. Of Calley, Head wrote: "He thought he knew where the problem was for his men (the village of My Lai). He did not realize that his real problem was the people he worked for in Washington". Of fragging, Head's opinion was: "Fragging was a democratic way of dealing with illogical and crazy orders". As Head's tour was about to end, he expressed his disgust at the "Rules of Engagement. If he saw the enemy, he could not shoot at them unless he was shot at first. 

Jack Head expressed fear that he would not be able to reprogram himself and be normal after spending a year in Vietnam. To that, he wrote: "I now know that there are thousands of us walking the streets with triggers that could be set off reverting us back to the mind sets we had during those days in 'Nam. Uppermost in my mind is the question of whether I can live with another person in a civilian relationship". Confirmed by another book, while waiting to leave Vietnam, Head was approached by a soldier selling citation ribbons, advance rank, and other changes that could affect his final pay See Ron Latham's book: "The Heart of the Country: Cash or Combat, a True Story of Vietnam's Life or Death Lottery".  Head declined.In ending his tour of duty, Jack Head laid down "the bottom line" on his 1 year tour of duty.  Recollecting, Head wrote: "I had been drafted. I was plucked out of my comfortable, mid-twenties life to fight, kill, and possibly die in a foreign land for God knows what. The people back home hated me for what I did, and the people of Vietnam hated me fro what I did. They despised me for destroying the vegetation, creating large areas of erosion. They hated me for stuff we sprayed on the jungle and for the abnormalities it caused in their water buffaloes and offspring.  I was nobody in a nowhere place".  Mr. Head thinks his unit, called "Echo Company" was allowed to live by the enemy, because of their respect for the rules of engagement. To that, Mr. Head asserted: "We respected the rules of engagement. The gentleman's agreement between professional soldiers. We tried to honor their religious holidays by not firing on those days. We honored their right to live  and die in the pursuit of an ideal. I believe that some of the line companies treated them in the same manner". And what about the American units that suffered slaughtering ambushes and massive causualities? Mr. Head explained his thoughts on that: "Some line companies were like the Peanuts character "Pigpen". Those companies seemed to always have a cloud over their head. Bad things seemed to happen to them.  Upon a closer look, the reason for their bad luck could often be traced back to an event or two when they didn't treat the enemy with respect. Perhaps it was the time they entered a village looking for information and during an overzealous interrogation they killed a villager. Or their "luck" changed after a firefight that caused the death of a child,  a water buffalo, or a popular political leader. In any case, the act was interpreted by the other side as a breach in the code of engagement. This particular unit would be stalked, harassed, and sought out for punishment."  There are numerous stories that I am leaving out, that you will simply have to read "Selective Memories" to learn them. 

Mr. Head concluded this tremendous book with a statement that can only be paraphrased: "Despite the survival rate in Vietnam, too many men were lost. I find it hard to believe that our 18-27 year old soldiers had to experience what they did, all due to the derelict, criminal, at least questionable behavior of our leaders in Washington. It was the most riveting, character forming, dehumanizing experience I have ever had to endure. We fought a tactical war based on Fire Bases and Landing Zones. This form of warfare neither matched the ability of the enemy nor the terrain. American lives were lost taking a hill only to give it back to the enemy. If war is measured by the ground gained, then we lost. By the time I left in 1970, we had gained very little ground in the country; the VC and NVA controlled almost all of it". It is sad to remark that Jack Head compared the Vietnam war to the Olympic games. Head recalled: "I was a member of the team that came in second in the South East Asian War Games. The Gold went to North Vietnam, the bronze went to France, and the silver to the United States. Note that the people or government of South Vietnam weren't even mentioned". This book is an extremely important historical document, and an absolute essential read to anyone trying to understand the American role in the Vietnam War. Get this book!