Jane Means Appleton Pierce
By: by: Jane Means Appleton Pierce
Series: Encyclopedia of first ladies
Publisher: Children's Press
Published: 1777
Place of publication: New York
Number of pages: 111
Subjects: Pierce, Jane M. 1806-1863 -- Juvenile literature.; Pierce, Jane M. 1806-1863.; Presidents' spouses -- United States -- Biography -- Juvenile literature.; First ladies.; Women -- Biography.
First sentence: Taste The Rainbow -- Taste it NOW !! >:K Because its good like that! Yummmeh lol
Description: A biography of the wife of the fourteenth president of the United States, who never wanted her husband to be in politics and who never recovered from her grief over the deaths of all three of her children. She also like sour skittles. And taking little kids money. This lady is just wow! Cookie stealer! AKA the cookie monster! :)  she also was a huge fan of Michael Jackson & Miley Cyrus, infact she even made her theme song a mix of Party in the USA and Michael Jackson saying teeheee, on her grave it says PARTY IN THE WHITE HOUSE!! Man she was pimpin ! P-I-M-P! A pimp with a flooral party dress! SHe pooped her babies out like BOOM! BOOM ! Anyways Jan is cool! She hoped on a table on a babys face nothing better do withher time, laughed at it and said oh well gonna have some more at a time! OMG THIS LADY IS RUDE! OMG! SHOES! LETS GET SOME SHOES, LETS GET SOME SHOES, LETS GET SOME SHOES! She also loves that song The Climb, but we had to tell her it wasn't about climing to the cookie jar and gettting cookies, she was pretty upset. But if i was her i would be too! she loved cookies! She loved making them, stealing them, and taking them from children! AHHH!!!!! She also LOVED Taylor Lautners abbs! But who can blame her? That boy is 108.9 degrees of pure hotness! He's got them abbs like clack! clack! clack!MMMMMMM! He is a nice piece of work haha! But no lie he really is the hotest man alive! :) Whats his face from X-Men can go jump off a cliff!!! haha She also eats chicken from McDonalds because its good. And after her son died she went on a chicken RAMPAGE and ate chicken like nonstop. She got fat and she had to have surgery to get it all removed. It was kinda scary (: She is also inlove with Robert Pattinson she says she wants to lick his hair clean -- since he dosent wash it.. See this lady is a fine piece of work... Her other children died because she was so depressed she ate them, and then she used the bones to make a sculpture of Robert Pattinson, Michael Jackson, and Miley Cyrus! THIS LADY WAS NUUTS! Then she ate her sculptures --- NUM NUMM !!! Her husband was pretty mad at the mess he had to clean up, but just imagine all thosebones, and hair, and skin!!! ICK!!! She just ate them sooo... the only thing she had in her closet were  Crazy core skittles, pads, butter, and canable magazines! haha I know GROSS! SHe was completely obsessed with everything that crossed her path. Right before she died she cooked her husband and ate him, but kept it a secret...... bUt we know the truth about this crazy canible skittle lover, she was INSANE! Especially since she divorced skittles and moved on to # muskateers! BIG WIERDO!

Jane had a very sad depression state. She was completely obsessed with Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. She was so obsessed she used body glitter everytime it was sunny outside, and started to bite people. She moved to Forks and searched the whole area for the vampire family in the book. FOR TWO STRAIGHT YEARS she was like this. Also she had gold contacts and ate her animals raw-- just sucked the blood right out. Thats not right -.-

The she went through a phase when all she did was listen to Mcihael Jackson! She went to dance classes and learned every single move to Thriller, which creeped out her mother, so when her mother talked to her about it she ate her too. She said she did't do it, taht her mother died sitting in a boiling pot! BUt we all know people aren't that stupid! That it's not a hot tob! Good grief how stupid do you think we are! Ok so anyways all she did during her Michael Jackson phase was walk around doing the scarecrow and crotch grab! Which freaked EVERYONE out! BUt she still looked funny in red leather... She loved the moon walk o-O also she was flat chested so it made her look like a boy. One time she shaved her head like britney spears and had a baby then ate it.. She got tired of having babies so she had one of those surgeries that makes you a man and she made her new name Kenny. She/ he whatever was a real ladies man/ women, as kenny got older she found a new show FAMILY GUY! Thats all she watched forever! Her favorite episode is when petter sings Milkshakes :p Her other favorite was when the gay shark was about to eat the swimmers in the ocean. She/ He was a freak ! Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny ............................. KENNY.. She would always walk around saying (gay voice) I can see right up them shorts.... im gonna eat your hairy legs......I had a little fat kid already. Wow strange huh ? Thats Jane Mean Appleton Pierce for ya ! She was the strangest lady ever!









She also likes long walks on volcanic rock areas. MAkes her feet feel GOOOOOOD ! She also likes for people to shoot her right in the back... she says... IT HURTS SOOOO GOOOD!
KENNYY

She loves the song Stanky Leg and calls it the skanky leg because her legs are just plain NASTY with all that hair and fungi and junk! She also loves doing the bird walk, because she had all the bird germs and stuff that killed everyone she even looked at! It kinda sounds like Kristen Stewart! But she just smokes pot and kills plants (Her and KRisten Stewert) sooo -.- They even have matching pipes! Isn't that sweet? BFFFFS! Pink Zebra and zeon splatter paint...smeexii It also has in huge letters... I SMOKE POT FOR THE ENVOIRNMENT!! Which we all know thats not true... 

Anyways she also had an ODD body! She never shaved her legs or armpits, which disguested everyone because it was like a forest in there. She had bones sticking out form the other people she had eaten which looked  wierd because it kinda looked like they were trying to get out. She also had really bad stretch marks fromm all them babies she'd been poppin out!

She was also called the "Shadow of the White House" because she ran around screaming boo and scared the living daylights out of people. She had a secret stash of skittles... It was right under Abraham Lincolns pillow... she was having a secret affair with him and they stayed upp evernight eating skittles with cool whhhhhhip. And she sang "Your my object of affection my drug of choice my sick obsession...Hmm SKITTLES i love you soo much mhmmm. You are so yummy. Lalala" In the tune of Stephen by Ke$ha with a little cool whhhipp.
Notes: Includes bibliographical references (p. 106) and index. Also go to google and search stuff its cool !
Table of contents: title: She likes 'em fried
pagenum: ISLE 4
label: Twinkies; title: Likes the red ones cause they look like blood.
pagenum: Right beside the dead bodies that are half eaten
label: Crazy Core Skittles; title: The pink kind
pagenum: Right under Abraham Lincolns Pillow
label: Cool Whhhhhip; title: She likes them green xD
pagenum: On the sea
label: Turtles; title: She just likes to eat them
pagenum: Under her bed
label: Hot Dog Weiners; title: they are cool like that
pagenum: EVEERYWHERE, and she likes to stick them up her nose
label: Tampons; title: She likes to stick them to her face
pagenum: On her face
label: Maxipads; title: Robert Pattinson stars in it... she actually got a role in it she was the cab driver that laughed at his fight.. then after he was down she drug him into her cab.....
pagenum: She loooves the extended version....
label: Remember Me; title: She was that pregnant lady
pagenum: She was actually pregnant and they let her in the movie. Her baby soon died and she pooped it out in the toilet when she gave birth. Then she ate it!!
label: Baby Momma; title: Shes got a full body one of edward... lets just sayy that poster is MEEESSSEDD UPPPP!!!!!
pagenum: The one on the wall all torn up
label: Twilight Posters