Passing judgment
Subtitle: praise and blame in everyday life
By: Terri Apter
Edition: First edition.
Publisher: W.W. Norton & Company
Published: 2018
Language: eng
Number of pages: 314
ISBN-13: 9780393247855
Subjects: Judgment (Ethics); Blame; Judgment; Praise
Other titles: Praise and blame in everyday life
Description: "Do you know that praise is essential to the growth of a healthy brain? That experiences of praise and blame affect how long we live? That the conscious and unconscious judgments we engage in every day began as a crucial survival technique? Do you think people shouldn't be judgmental? But, how judgmental are you, and how does this impact your relationships? [The author] reveals how everyday judgments impact our relationships, and how praise, blame, and shame shape our sense of self. Our obsession with praise and blame begins soon after birth. Totally dependent on others, rapidly we learn to value praise, and to fear the consequences of blame. Despite outgrowing an infant's dependence, we continue to monitor others' judgments of us, and we ourselves develop what relational psychologist Terri Apter calls a "judgment meter," which constantly scans people and our interactions with them, and registers a positive or negative opinion. In[this book, the author] reveals how interactions between parents and children, within couples, and among friends and colleagues are permeated with praise and blame that range far beyond specific compliments and accusations. Drawing on three decades of research, [the author] gives us the tools to learn about our personal needs, goals and values, to manage our biases, to tolerate others' views, and to make sense of our most powerful, and often confusing, responses to ourselves and to others."--Amazon.com.
Notes: Includes bibliographical references (pages 253-304) and index.
Table of contents: title: Introduction; title: The beginnings of human judgment; title: The chemistry, economics, and psychology of praise; title: Blame: the necessity and devastation of guilt and shame; title: Family judgments, family systems; title: Just friends: praise and blame between peers; title: Intimate judgments: praise and blame within couples; title: Professional dues: praise and blame in the workplace; title: Social media and the new challenges to our judgment meter; title: Lifelong judgments.