Crown Jewels
Edition: 2nd
Publisher: Palmetto Bug Books
Published: December 2008
Place of publication: Miami, FL
Language: eng
Format: Trade Paperback
Number of pages: 255
ISBN-13: 978096344993151299
Genres: Mystery; Humor
First sentence: “That does it! I’m getting married!”
Description: Set in ever so chic South Beach, this comic detective story surrounds the exploits of two struggling private dicks, Max "Gumsandals" Cohen and his Korean partner Charles "Chuck" Song. Max's oldest daughter is getting married at the end of the week and he doesn't know how he is going to pay for the wedding. When a mysterious Cuban offers them a job to find a missing box, Max takes the assignment despite his gut feeling that something isn't quite kosher. Within a very short time, his instincts are proven right. It seems everyone is looking for the same box, including a Cuban crime syndicate known as the Black Cigar and the C.I.A. As it turns out, the box contains the mummified balls of Christopher Columbus. It seems Queen Isabella took them as collateral and made them into 
earrings. As long as Spain had them in its possession, it remained the most powerful nation on earth. When they disappeared, Spain's status in the world plummeted. Soon a legend grew that whoever possesses the things, becomes invincible. How Max's wife, the wharf shikseh, ends up wearing them at the wedding is part of the comic finale which involves the hijacking of the Goodyear blimp. 

Although propelled by this MacGuffin, the story also explores the cross-cultural milieu found in South Florida including the interactions between Jews, gooks, shiksehs, wives, Cubans, babes and the Bushido, and very large cockroaches.
Notes: First Edition is no longer in print.