Yer Never Gonnae Believe It
Series: Harry the polis -- v. 4; Harry the polis -- v. 4.
Publisher: Black & White Publishing
Published: 2013
Place of publication: New York
Language: eng
Number of pages: 302
ISBN-13: 9781845026776
Subjects: Humor; Police; Anecdotes; LITERARY CRITICISM; European; English, Irish, Scottish, Welsh; Strathclyde Police
Description: Yer Never Gonnae Believe It! Is the fourth in Harry the Polis's hugely successful and hilarious collections of police stories. With twenty-nine years in the polis under his belt, there's no shortage of incidents and anecdotes to tell. Find out the secrets of Harry's low-effort guide to marathon success and all about some funny goings on in a funeral parlour. Yer Never Gonnae Believe It! is another classic collection of tales tall and true from Harry the Polis, the Chief Constable of funny stories.
Table of contents: title: Cover; Title Page; Dedication; Acknowledgements; Contents; The Old Age Alphabet; Sorry, Mam; Professional Mourner; First Class Examination; The Prisoner of Harrogate; Housewife's Menu; Horses Up Closes; A Hollywood Body Double; Return of the Mummy!; Lessons in Elocution; Munchtime Menu; Battle of the Boyne; Piss Artist; Strictly Dancing; That's My Brother; Sex and Marriage; Stuck for an Answer; Cowboy Snips; Marathon Man; Use of Words; Sharing My Swearing; Acupuncture; She'll Give You One; Ministry of Laughs; Chivas Down My Spine; Can't Wait to Tell Her; Whit's In The Bag?; title: Musical Porn in MaryhillThe Remote Remote; Him and Her; Post Office Pete; Unknown to Me; Control Room Patter; Mickey's Pal; Go on then!; Andy and the Hot Cross Buns; Ming-night in Moscow; A Friendly Game; The Square Go; Die(t) at Craigie Street; Sympathy from the Abbey; Old Firm Day; Luxuries of Life; Ye're a Tube; Donald Lindsay and Reminsky; Enough is Enough!; Bird Shit!; Line-Up for Trouble; Offer I Had to Refuse; Forgot Me Already?; Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes; A Coloured TV in Govan; Bruised and Battered without the Bevy; The Dyslexic Reporter; Ringing From The Waist Down; Mother's Ruin.; title: Alex Gave him the BootRock On; Lardy Spice; Tadpoles in the Bath; Lock Up Yer Sick; Mistaken Identity; Viagra; 'Soap Powder'; The Scottish Battle-Cry; Speak to Me!; How the Mighty Fall; Freddie Starr was Nowhere; Down Under; Dining with Doctor Hook!; Burns Supper Break; Time Zone; Knock! Knock! Who is it?; Ethnic Friends; Itchy! The Sequel; Think Once! Think Twice!! Think Bike!!!; Is that Kung-Fu?; Battery Hens now Battery Fish; Toilet Humour; Bring Out Yer Dead; Danny Boy!; Not Quite Quincy; Billy Brown's Ear-Ache; Count Me In, Out!; Power From Above; Intermittent Faults.; title: Wee Jinky the LinesmanNot Exactly Earl Grey!; Flaming Flumes; Plastic People; And Justice For All; A Night to Remember; No! No! No!; Driven up the Wall; Pet Hates; Wembley Weekend; The Tin Man; Free Flights Home; Doing the Orange Walk; River City; Not Exactly 'Constable' Ian!; Polis Dugs Bite!; Political Correctness; The Parade Square; Arthur and Paddy; Fa-fa-fa-rankie McCoy; Older is Better; Mechanical Touble; A Lesson in Crime Prevention; The Glesca Barber; Cannae Keep a Secret; Fancy Dress; Co-Co the Clown; Don't Do As I Do!; Run When You're Drunk; Telephone Salesmen.; title: On It's Own, Number FiveSave The Dug!; Copyright.