The unexpurgated code
Subtitle: a complete manual of survival & manners
By: J. P. Donleavy ; with drawings by the author.
Series: A Delta book
Publisher: Dell Publishing Co; Dell Publishing
Published: 1976
Place of publication: New York, NY
Language: eng
Number of pages: 283
Notes: 1979 printing.

1
Table of contents: title: Social Climbing; title: Upon Being Not to the Manner Born
pagenum: 3; title: Useful Rules in Social Climbing
pagenum: 4; title: Finding a Social Circle Which Spirals Upwards
pagenum: 6; title: Accent Improvement
pagenum: 9; title: Upon Embellishing Your Background
pagenum: 11; title: Upon Embellishing the Area in Which You Reside
pagenum: 13; title: Upon Choosing Your Residence
pagenum: 14; title: Upon Choosing Your Neighbour
pagenum: 16; title: Upon Your Residence's Appurtenances
pagenum: 17; title: Upon Refining Your Taste
pagenum: 18; title: Upon Throwing Your First Large Party
pagenum: 20; title: Upon Not Being Socially Registered
pagenum: 22; title: Upon Being Excluded from Who's Who
pagenum: 23; title: Upon the Sudden Reawakening of Your Sordid Background
pagenum: 25; title: Name Changing
pagenum: 27; title: Ass Kissing and Other Types of Flattery
pagenum: 29; title: On Rubbing Elbows with the Rich
pagenum: 30; title: Associating with the Bootless and Unhorsed
pagenum: 38; title: Knowing When You Have Reached the Top
pagenum: 42; title: Extinctions and Mortalities; title: The Final Resting Place
pagenum: 49; title: Upon Being Told the Fatal News That You Have Only So Long to Live and That It Is Not Long
pagenum: 51; title: Dying
pagenum: 53; title: Wills, Legacies, Chattels
pagenum: 55; title: Suicide
pagenum: 58; title: Parting Words, Gestures, Apparel and Conversations
pagenum: 62; title: Execution
pagenum: 64; title: At the Funeral
pagenum: 66; title: Cannibalism
pagenum: 70; title: The Duel
pagenum: 73; title: At the Duelling Site
pagenum: 76; title: Impromptu Combat
pagenum: 79; title: Upon Making the Contract for the Rubout
pagenum: 84; title: Upon Abandoning Ship
pagenum: 87; title: Upon Abandoning the Aircraft
pagenum: 91; title: The Drunken Lout Loose in the Aircraft
pagenum: 93; title: Upon Being Hijacked
pagenum: 95; title: Upon Your Dog Killing Another
pagenum: 96; title: Upon Your Dog Being Killed by Another
pagenum: 97; title: Upon Being a Victim at the Hospital
pagenum: 98; title: Upon Dying of Shame
pagenum: 101; title: Euthanasia
pagenum: 102; title: Posterity
pagenum: 103; title: Vilenesses Various; title: Farting
pagenum: 107; title: Bodily Stench
pagenum: 112; title: Bad Breath and Toothpicks
pagenum: 114; title: Other Orifices, Ears and Enemas
pagenum: 115; title: Hocking, Spitting and Throat Clearing
pagenum: 117; title: Smoking
pagenum: 119; title: Plate and Knife Licking
pagenum: 120; title: Shaving
pagenum: 121; title: Baldness
pagenum: 122; title: Dentures
pagenum: 123; title: Dandruff
pagenum: 124; title: Promiscuous Pissing
pagenum: 124; title: Pimple and Black Head Squeezing
pagenum: 126; title: Discarded Hairs and Nails
pagenum: 126; title: Solitary Masturbation
pagenum: 127; title: The Vicissitudes of Clap
pagenum: 128; title: Upon Being Clapped Up
pagenum: 128; title: Naming Names of Clapper Uppers
pagenum: 129; title: Upon Confronting the Clapped Up
pagenum: 129; title: Upon Placing the Blame for Venereal Infection
pagenum: 131; title: The Syph
pagenum: 132; title: The Crab Louse
pagenum: 133; title: The Flea
pagenum: 135; title: The Sneaky Doing of the Reprehensible
pagenum: 135; title: In Pursuit of Comfortable Habits; title: At the Breast
pagenum: 139; title: In the Cradle
pagenum: 139; title: In Your High Chair
pagenum: 140; title: Upon Throwing Objects Out of Your Perambulator
pagenum: 140; title: Beginning Your Daily Adult Day
pagenum: 140; title: Toilet
pagenum: 141; title: Upon Clothing and Appearances
pagenum: 142; title: Upon Having One's Ultimate Kit
pagenum: 143; title: Visiting Your Banker
pagenum: 147; title: Visiting Your Bank
pagenum: 148; title: At the Barber
pagenum: 148; title: At the Chiropodist
pagenum: 150; title: The Shoeshine
pagenum: 151; title: At the Porno Show
pagenum: 151; title: At the Massage Parlour
pagenum: 153; title: Upon Saucy Assemblages
pagenum: 156; title: In the Proximity of the Horse
pagenum: 158; title: At the Stud Sale
pagenum: 159; title: The Willing 'Let's Go Gang' Guest
pagenum: 212; title: Upon a Commoner Encountering a Member of the Titled Classes
pagenum: 212; title: Upon Being a Member of the Titled Classes
pagenum: 213; title: The Wife's Disappearance at the Country House Party
pagenum: 214; title: Food Throwers
pagenum: 216; title: Upon Encountering Strange and Suspicious Noises
pagenum: 216; title: Upon Changing Your Sex
pagenum: 217; title: Upon Nude Encounters with Servants
pagenum: 218; title: Upon Being of a Colour in an Area Where Such Colour Is Not Highly Esteemed
pagenum: 218; title: Upon Some Guest's Kid Abusing Your Chattels
pagenum: 218; title: Upon Suffering Social Descent as a Member of the Gentry to the Lower Classes
pagenum: 219; title: The Au Pair
pagenum: 220; title: Upon Inheriting a Title or Gaining Rank
pagenum: 221; title: Attending the Reading of Wills
pagenum: 221; title: Upon Encountering Massive Windfalls
pagenum: 221; title: Upon Being Sued
pagenum: 222; title: When the World Rats on You
pagenum: 222; title: Upon Inlaws Moving In or Trying to Commandeer Your Property
pagenum: 223; title: Upon Stabbing Folk in the Back
pagenum: 223; title: Upon Doing the Decent Thing in the Face of Many Juicy and Shoddy Alternatives
pagenum: 223; title: Upon Presenting Yourself before an Investigating Committee
pagenum: 224; title: Upon Replying to Interrogation
pagenum: 225; title: Upon Committing Perjury
pagenum: 225; title: Upon Bad Mouthing an Enemy
pagenum: 226; title: Upon Being Published in a Debtors' Gazette
pagenum: 226; title: Upon the Bailiff or Sheriff Arriving to Possess Goods
pagenum: 227; title: Upon Doing unto Others as They Would So Treacherously Delight to Do unto You
pagenum: 227; title: Upon Being Unflatteringly Dressed in an Emergency
pagenum: 227; title: Upon Letting Your Lawn Grass Grow Long
pagenum: 228; title: Upon Being Made Aware of an Insult to Your Hotel Companion
pagenum: 228; title: Upon Paying the Bill in a Restaurant
pagenum: 229; title: Upon Inducing Folk to Eat Cheap When You Have Invited Them to Dine
pagenum: 229; title: Upon Becoming Sick on or Objecting to a Restaurant's Food
pagenum: 230; title: Face Lifting and Plastic Surgery
pagenum: 231; title: Upon Suing Your Hosts for Injury in Their House
pagenum: 232; title: Mischiefs and Memorabilia; title: Upon Being Cuckolded
pagenum: 235; title: Mirrors
pagenum: 237; title: Upon Observing Folk Who Appear So Overly Sure of Themselves
pagenum: 238; title: Facial Expressions
pagenum: 238; title: Displaying Your Medals and Decorations
pagenum: 239; title: Upon Walking into Places as If You Own Them
pagenum: 239; title: Upon Feeling Out of Place
pagenum: 239; title: Upon Folk Putting Their Feet Up on Your Furniture
pagenum: 240; title: Upon Travelling in Space
pagenum: 240; title: Upon Being a Big Shot
pagenum: 241; title: Perils and Precautions; title: Upon Being Stung on the End of Your Prick by a Bee on a Golf Course
pagenum: 193; title: Dealing with the Insane
pagenum: 194; title: In the Elevator
pagenum: 194; title: Angers
pagenum: 195; title: Upon Coming Upon Two Citizens Engaged in a Fight
pagenum: 195; title: Upon Witnessing an Indoor Nuisance Befalling a Lady
pagenum: 196; title: Upon People Walking Straight into Pools and Water Filled Excavations and There Being Immersed Headlong
pagenum: 196; title: Upon Your Spit Landing on Another
pagenum: 197; title: Upon a Fair Fight
pagenum: 198; title: The Mugger
pagenum: 199; title: To Avoid Attack
pagenum: 200; title: Upon Giving Assistance to One Attacked
pagenum: 200; title: As a Pedestrian
pagenum: 201; title: As a Motorist
pagenum: 201; title: Upon Confronting a Burglar
pagenum: 202; title: Upon Encountering Incivilities from Taxi Drivers
pagenum: 203; title: Upon Helping Ladies Too Fat for Taxis to Get in One
pagenum: 205; title: Fat Ladies in Phone Booths
pagenum: 205; title: When the Overwhelming Desire to Goose a Lady Cannot Be Suppressed
pagenum: 206; title: Upon Having Without Invitation an Uncontrolled Erection
pagenum: 207; title: Upon Being Exorcised
pagenum: 207; title: When an Undesirable Moves In Next Door
pagenum: 207; title: Suburban Boundaries
pagenum: 208; title: Plumbing
pagenum: 209; title: As a House Guest
pagenum: 209; title: Upon Shortening a Guest's Stay upon the Country Estate
pagenum: 210; title: Upon Being Required to Work as a Guest
pagenum: 211; title: Upon Ennobling Your Noble Spirit
pagenum: 241; title: Upon Being Cultured
pagenum: 242; title: Upon Being Unknown
pagenum: 242; title: Fame and Celebrity
pagenum: 242; title: Upon the Display of Sun Tan
pagenum: 243; title: On Tipping
pagenum: 243; title: Upon Being Snubbed
pagenum: 243; title: When You Are Laughed At
pagenum: 244; title: Upon People's Attention Wandering as You Talk
pagenum: 245; title: Upon Accepting Prizes, Awards, and Distinctions
pagenum: 245; title: Upon Contributing Money
pagenum: 245; title: Upon Using People for What They're Worth
pagenum: 246; title: Upon Living and Let Live
pagenum: 246; title: Upon Heaping Abuse on the High and Mighty
pagenum: 246; title: Upon Being High and Mighty with the Low and Weak Heaping Abuse
pagenum: 247; title: Upon Being a Sportsman
pagenum: 247; title: Upon Accosting Your Trusted Manager or Accountant Who Has Been Cheating You over a Long Number of Years
pagenum: 247; title: Upon Being Puzzled by the Meaning of Life
pagenum: 248; title: Upon the Pointy Two Toned Shoe
pagenum: 248; title: Upon the Light Tan Shoe
pagenum: 249; title: Upon Being Done the Tiniest of Courtesies
pagenum: 249; title: Upon Those Who Lack the Basic Human Decencies
pagenum: 250; title: On Wielding Disparaging and Chastening Terms Various
pagenum: 250; title: Terms of Reference for Disapproved Folk
pagenum: 251; title: Four Letter Words
pagenum: 252; title: The Unforgivable Insult
pagenum: 253; title: Handy Sayings
pagenum: 253; title: Upon the Proper Haughty Posture for the Delivery of Insult
pagenum: 254; title: In Extra Ordinary Pukka Conversation
pagenum: 254; title: Verbal Invitations
pagenum: 254; title: Trembling Your Lid Before Flipping It
pagenum: 255; title: Handshaking
pagenum: 255; title: Bowing
pagenum: 256; title: Upon Introduction
pagenum: 257; title: Name Dropping
pagenum: 257; title: Gatecrashing
pagenum: 257; title: Upon Doing Surreptitious Damage at Your Host's Party
pagenum: 258; title: Dancing
pagenum: 258; title: The Telephone
pagenum: 259; title: Receiving Letters
pagenum: 259; title: Letter Writing
pagenum: 260; title: Upon Writing the Annual Mimeographed Dear Friends Letter
pagenum: 260; title: Upon Replying to an Unexpurgated Form Letter
pagenum: 261; title: Christmas
pagenum: 262; title: Servants
pagenum: 263; title: On Being a Good Butler
pagenum: 263; title: Upon the Conduct of Business Negotiations
pagenum: 264; title: Upon Being Interviewed
pagenum: 265; title: Upon Hiring a Secretary
pagenum: 266; title: Duties as a Citizen
pagenum: 266; title: Vacating Your Seat on Public Transport
pagenum: 267; title: Upon Glances at Ladies
pagenum: 267; title: How to Prevent People from Detesting You
pagenum: 268; title: Calling Cards
pagenum: 268; title: Living in Your Own Little Enclosed World of Privilege and Liking It a Whole Bunch
pagenum: 269; title: On Taking Free Reads of Newspaper Headlines
pagenum: 269; title: Upon Fouling the Footpath
pagenum: 269; title: Upon Ordering Kit
pagenum: 270; title: Upon Robbing a Bank
pagenum: 270; title: Having Successfully Robbed a Bank
pagenum: 271; title: Philosophy
pagenum: 272; title: Blowing upon Soup
pagenum: 272; title: Upon Opening Your Stately Home to the Public
pagenum: 272; title: Upon the Nearby Arrival of a Flying Saucer
pagenum: 272; title: Wife Beating
pagenum: 273; title: Upon Being to the Manner Born
pagenum: 274; title: When Blackballed from a Club to Which You Have Desperately Tried to Gain Admittance
pagenum: 274; title: Upon Having Your Picture Taken with Famous People
pagenum: 275; title: Hotels
pagenum: 275; title: Upon a Lady Exhibiting a Motion Picture of Her Saucy Antics
pagenum: 276; title: Upon Encountering Happiness
pagenum: 276; title: Upon the Untoward in the Pissoir
pagenum: 276; title: Upon Being Old
pagenum: 278; title: Upon Disappearing
pagenum: 278; title: Upon Exercising a Realistic Thought
pagenum: 278; title: The Psychologist
pagenum: 279; title: Upon Biting the Hand That Feeds You
pagenum: 279; title: Forgiveness
pagenum: 279; title: Upon Expecting Fair Play in High Places
pagenum: 279; title: When Some Supercilious Cunt Asks Is There Anything Wrong
pagenum: 279; title: The Old School Tie
pagenum: 279; title: Charm
pagenum: 280; title: Upon Various Races Venturing Abroad
pagenum: 280; title: Upon Being Down and Out
pagenum: 280; title: Meditation
pagenum: 280; title: Religions
pagenum: 281; title: Caution
pagenum: 281; title: Shabby People
pagenum: 281; title: Shabby Shabby People
pagenum: 282; title: Shabby Shabby Shabby People
pagenum: 282; title: Upon Good Manners Honour and Duty Getting You Absolutely Nowhere
pagenum: 282; title: Ingredients for Survival
pagenum: 283; title: Epitaph
pagenum: 283