openenglishbible/Open-English-Bible — Issue #298: Mark 2:2 - Better wording "collected", "after a while", "began to tell them"
Author: DJHugger
Created: 2012-02-28 16:04:56+00:00
State: open

The OEB currently reads, "and so many people collected together, that after a while there was no room for them even around the door; and he began to tell them his message."

1) "Collected together" seems like strange usage for describing persons. Recommend changing to "gathered."

2) "After a while" appears to be a translators gloss that doesn't really clarify meaning. Recommend omitting.

3) "Began to tell them" is unnecessarily wordy. Recommend changing to simply "told them."

After recommendations:

"and so many people gathered together, that there was no room for them even around the door; and he told them his message."