So this is probably going to be a long one. Hopefully my camera lasts. Don't be your skin, be a bandage. Hey guys, this is my face story here and today I want to talk to you guys about something that I feel like is super boring and that really isn't discussed that much. In the acne community, you know, a lot of times we kind of focus on like outer appearance and how we look outside and we don't really talk about, you know, how we're feeling inside and how it's affecting us that way, which acne really is psychologically super hard. So that's what I'm going to talk about today is the psychological effects of acne. And in doing so, I'm just going to kind of share my own personal story in that you know, that, you know, in that you know, you know. And that you know that you are not alone. So first of all, I was always saying that the whole life I was had like clear skin. I wasn't like, I mean, I know like, okay, I'm like pretty cute. Like people would like be like, oh, she's cute. But so I was like having, you know, clear skin and I felt like I kind of got some compliments. I don't know, I don't know how to say without saying vain. So my whole life I had clear skin and then all of a sudden when it was like 19 or 20, you know, it was just like my face was covered in cystic acne. And it was hard enough, you know, going from having clear skin to having cystic acne. But I feel like it was harder during that time for him too because that's like beginning stages of college and you're kind of like making friends and finding out like what you like and who you are. And I think it really did impact me and not making me want to like really be social, really go out. And so it kind of did kind of isolate myself, you know, even if it's just one or two or whole face full. It doesn't really matter. It affects everyone the same. You know, you feel like that's all anyone can stare at and people are judging you. And you know, does your concealer look weird under this light or how does this like look? How's your face look? Whatever, I know. I know. But it was really hard for me when I got acne because I felt like people had stopped paying attention to me. People had stopped getting me compliments. I went from like a cute girl to like no one that anyone cared about. I guess it was kind of nice in a way, but it was also like, okay, shows how much emphasis people put on physical beauty. The reason I know this happened was because I didn't have acne. I felt like, you know, I walked into the grocery store and the grocery boy would be like, oh, this love girl. I did have that. I felt like no big eye contact with me even. And then once my skin cleared up, I felt like it was back to that same thing. So whether or not that was me being like socially not really seeing your attention or people noticing me because my skin was clear, I do feel like it is kind of vain. What brings me to my next point, acne is a skin disease. So when you have it, you do feel self-conscious because your face looks like the first thing that anyone sees about you. You make eye contact, you're talking, you're meeting someone. So you're analyzing their face probably. So you probably assume that they're doing the same. You know what I mean? But I think when it comes to being self-conscious, everyone has their own thing like some people think they're feeder to bake, some people already got their noses. And from what I've learned, I think people are too focused on their own negativities or their own insecurities to even notice yours. So, which is like a good thing, you know. Being like socially isolated, feeling insecure. And even if I was positive and I am positive, like 99.9, poor, nerdy, perchante of the time, I'm like super positive. But I feel like it does still get you and it does still affect you, you know. It's your face. And you're not doing anything different to spark these changes. You're not asking for these changes. You're not wanting for these changes. But yet you're watching your face change right before your eyes. And like how is that fair? And what did I do to deserve this? And I had all those thoughts. Like all those thoughts. Before Acutane, my acne was so bad and I was at a really dark place where I was at the point and told you I was this before where I was like honestly like I'd rather die than deal with my acne. So yeah, I'll go on Acutane because I don't even care if death is a risk at this point. I just felt before that, like I was getting anxiety attacks. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. Like after using the bathroom, I would always stare down at my hands, watch my hands, I ordered a retail and I would always avoid the mirrors because I didn't want to look at my face because it literally gave me a panic attack where I felt like I couldn't breathe. And I felt like my eyesight was closing up and I just felt like hopeless, like gloom and doom basically. Which led me to depression where I'm not wanting to do anything, I'm not wanting to go out, I'm not finding joy and anything I usually do, everything just seems like it sucks and I'm just focusing on my skin. And I guess once I got to that point and then that's when I started Acutane, I decided that I'm going to change my mindset and that if this is a disease, and I hope that you take this away too. This is a disease that I have to live with, this is something that is going to affect me possibly and probably for the rest of my life. Then I need to start looking at it as you know, it's of an insecurity like something to be proud of. Something that I can try to treat it, that shouldn't be looking for a cure all because as we all know, I can just have one single cure. Unless you're going to say Acutane, but you don't do relapse, you're struggling, you lose truly. I just feel like, you know, take it with your grand assault, like you have your teeth, you have your eyesight, you have your hands or even if you don't have those things, you have a beating heart, like you are alive, you're watching this right now, I'm able to make this for you guys right now. Like skin is just that, it's skin and I don't need to minimize anyone's feelings and I don't need to minimize the situation at all. But there are worse things that could happen and I do know it's still, I do know, trust me, I do know, it still does affect you, but just be grateful that that is the biggest concern that you have. That is the biggest thing that's going on on your life, you know, that's the way I like to look at it at least. I have a house and I'm not living in a box, so that's something, you know. But yeah, I think what really pulled me kind of out of that was changing my mindset and realizing like, you know, it's empowering to have acne, you're unique, you're different, your skin doesn't look like anyone else's and why is it gross just because people say it's gross. Like, it doesn't have to be gross to you if you don't think it's gross. You know, so they can think that if they want, but all that really matters is what you think. And also surround yourself with understanding people, people who are willing to learn about, like acne is a disease about what you have to say, you know. And it's been like, the biggest thing for me too is just surrounding yourself with people and opening up to them about it because a lot of people don't know if you're struggling or why you're upset or what's going on with you. And they might be like, oh, it's just pimples, it's just skin, but that's like what I'm saying is like, that's kind of people who don't need to be opening up around, I guess. Just surround yourself with good understanding people who are willing to be a positive influence, who are going to support you no matter what decisions you make with your skin or with yourself or with whatever. But I feel like this acne journey has made me just more understanding and more sympathetic, definitely towards others. I know it can cause anxiety, isolation, depression, feeling insecure, I used to always feel less than I used to always compare myself to social media. Don't do that. Those are Photoshop, that's fake, that's like a perfect image, perfect moment type scenario. That's like the worst thing you can do, just stay off social media and don't compare yourself, especially because there is only one you and you are unique, like I said before. So it's like comparing artists, it's like comparing Picasso, which is like for getting crazy style to like, I don't know, like Monet, like water lilies. You know, like you can't compare the two, so I feel like that's how it is with people or think about cats and dogs, you know, I don't know. Just don't compare yourself to other people, okay? Another thing, some other little tidbits that helped me, obviously, I could order makeup or if I do, it's going to be all natural, on my skin care is natural, I cut out dairy, exercising frequently. Exerciseing is huge because it's going to like boost your serotonin, boost your feel good levels, get rid of depression, help with anxiety. Seriously working out helps like with everything, I think every much work out, because it's awesome. But yeah, I just know if you are going through these motions through these feelings, share it with someone, know that you're not alone. Don't be afraid to like ask for help or to tell someone how you're feeling, because it really can affect you long term. Even I thought, you know, my acne is going to be gone, I'm going to be super confident. But I feel like, you know, my acne went away and these feelings still linger, then I wasn't expecting that. I wasn't expecting scars or anything expecting the feelings, like sometimes come back, like some days, you know. All of my days were just really bad, and I'm like, I don't want to go out, I don't want to go out of bed. But then the next day, I'm like completely fine, and I'm like, yes, yes, yes. So, I mean, they're going to be some acts, they're going to be times, but if you're feeling like that on a consistent basis, definitely talk to someone, definitely see if you can try to change your mindset, see if you can do something that makes you feel good or takes your mind off of it. And just accepting yourself for who you are and for how your skin is, because again, there's only one you. If people mind, then they don't matter, and if people matter, then they're not going to mind. Because that's what Dr. Sue said, and it's the best word ever, and I always say that. So yeah, that's all I have for you guys today, and thank you for watching. Make sure you like, comment below, subscribe, and that's it. Alright, bye guys.