Welcome to the 430-TURD annual Tea Party. We'll begin as always with the roll call, whose Tom Timms. That's what it says on the inside of my hat. Does that mean it's you or the hot? Must be the hot, because on me it says Cornelius. How about Mr. Tim...within in? He was it by an ice cream truck, but diggeries here in his place. And how about Mr. Tatum with two teas...and in it? He was it by an ice cream and had to go change his shirt, but it's in his place. How about Mrs. Nesbitt? Present. And finally, Miss Tomasina Tymothea from the House of Tymotho. She's dead. Bum dead. First order of business then. It would appear... There's a plague upon the land! Can't eat supposed to happen for another 27 years. It seems the timeline has accelerated. The end is certainly not. We must contact the chosen one. Prepare the ritual. Aw, man. How did you guys get my number? I stole your phone in 2012. Allegedly. He just admitted to it. No, he didn't. I don't think I know you. Yes, you do. Okay. You'll triangulate his position. You prepare for retrieval. Do not triangulate my position. What? What was that? I can hear you. Do not come anywhere near me. Don't be so paranoid. How can we even get near you if we've not triangulated your position? I'm serious. This year has been bad enough as it is. I don't need you guys coming over here and violating my space. Wait, where's the first guy? Which guy? My guy. The knife guy. Where did he go? Oh, he's right here. You honestly expect me to believe that's the same person. The knife is still available if you finally come around. But you're gonna ask first if you went free. I'm free. I'm gonna go. What if I told you that everybody's problems were in a black black by the secret creature being to control the dairy industry? That almost makes sense. Exactly. Time is of the essence. I will now teleport you to our location using the art of illusion. No, no teleporting or kidnapping me or whatever it is you're planning on doing. I was kidnapping so now you've ruined it. I don't want to be part of your weird cold. I don't know why you guys singled me out and I don't care. Just leave me alone. Beware the chosen one. Chosen by who? Mostly him. That is a doll. He is quite a knockout. What the f***? Well, there may be hope for us yet. Next on the agenda, it's Miss Nezbitz turned to do the coffee run. Everyone fork over a seven bucks. Ta-da. You want to buy an ass with a tiny version of me attached to it. They're available now while supplies last. Or you can wait until the Black Friday, say on November 13th where all orders over $75 have free shipping. Then all you got to do is buy three of them.