I'm going to be a little bit more of a guy. I'm going to be a little bit more of a guy. The next comic has been politics all his life. He says he's a little dried up, brush limbaugh, and I tell them none. Without further ado, I won't introduce Charles Jackson. Thank you. Marty, I want to thank you for that very kind introduction. Marty, as you know, is our leader and has been a real inspiration to those opposites in the class who have been contemplating suicide. Ladies and gentlemen and transgendered persons, thank you for coming tonight. I would like to dedicate my few pathetic minutes up here to two people who have met the most to me. Mother Teresa and Shannon Faulkner. Some of you may remember when Mother Teresa was in Atlanta recently to come in and be with us. I rushed up to her outside of Sacred Heart Church and said, Mother, Mother, Mother, what are the Georgia cash three numbers for today? And she gave them to me. And she said, my son, there are six, six, six. So that night I played, I played six, six, six. And then it dawned on me as I was going to bed. Of course, I did not win the cash three. But it dawned on me that six, six, six is the sign of Satan. And that night I had a horrible nightmare of having sex with Rosanne Barr. I don't know whether you all have ordered it yet, but I have the first, one of the first official, Shannon Faulkner commemorative coins. On the front here is a picture of Shannon Faulkner. And on the back, you probably can't see it here. It's a picture of one order of biggie fries and two jelly stuffed donuts. Now, let me just say this. If you saw, if you saw, Jody Foster in Silence of the Lambs, or so Gwony Weaver in the aliens, or alien, is there any doubt in your mind that they couldn't kick some serious ass at the Citadel? I was born a Pisces, which means that at an early age, I realized that I would never die from being sick. I would die from being alive. At the age of eight, at the age of eight, I joined the Scouts, the Girl Scouts. I realized early on, if that tender age that I was, in fact, a latent federal sexual with lesbian tendencies, there were two very fundamental things I learned about women as a Girl Scout. The first important lesson I learned was that every woman that I would know, I would know before they were virgin, before they were virgin. And the other important thing I would learn about women as a Girl Scout is that when a woman says, I love you, but I'm not in love with you, you're not going to get laid. Find that out. Just recently as a matter of fact. And she would not have the abortion. Today, I am dazed and confused, wondering in a world of political correctness and multiculturalism and diversity and safe sex. Of course, for me, safe sex is a contradiction in terms. And driving in tonight, I could not do my weekly inspection of bumper stickers in the parking lot. And I saw some of your Obama's and BMW's with some of these 90's bumper stickers, like visualized world peace. St. Globally, act locally. What the hell does that mean? And my favorite hate is not a family value. In Alabama, they have a derivation of that bumper sticker. It says, incest is a family value. Probably the most politically correct question that we're asked, at least I am, whenever I go to the CROGA, is that you, when you get the checkout counter, paper or plastic. I know I'm having a bad day in an existential crisis when I'm asked that question and I can't answer it. What do I want? Paper or plastic? Neither one. Put it in my hands. Two examples of how crazy we've gotten with this political correctness stuff is, first of all, hurricanes. There was a time, if you remember, when all hurricanes were named after women. Now it seemed to me that if I were a woman, I would be highly complimented that this tremendous force of nature was named after me. And I would be offended that somebody decided a few years ago that the National Weather Service, that they'd start calling hurricanes, ultimately after men. Some of you may know that hurricanes are formed as a result of tropical depressions, which, of course, made sense. Most women I know were formed as a result of being topically depressed. But the way to simplify the hurricane thing, it seems to me, would be to call all male hurricanes. Of course, you wonder, how do you know whether hurricanes are male or female? What do you look for? What do you feel for? I don't know. Ask the National Weather Service Act question. But in the future, they ought to name all male hurricanes, Hurricane Asshole. And it would certainly apply in my case. And all female hurricanes, Hurricane Shannon packing wind of 186 pounds and three ounces. The other example of political correctness is this recently completed or going to be completed, thank God. Conference on women in China, this year in conference. Now, one of the agenda items was to expand from two to six the number of officially recognized genders. Dig this. From two to six. Thank God it didn't make it, but they were close. Male, female, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, and Michael Jackson. Thank you. Happy birthday, Betsy, and you can have my baby. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.