Have a nice day. I haven't even started, you're really laughing, don't you? So I was kicked out of my flat today and then Lord found out I'd been running a business out of my home selling body parts on the black market. I called it home is where the hardest. So lungs and kidneys and livers and rectum. So my parents abandoned me when I was very young. They just dropped me up with a bunch of other kids and drove away. Three days later I managed to chew through the cannell bars and follow their scent home. I asked them, why did you abandon me? They said, well, you're a disappointment. You didn't graduate high school, you haven't been to university, you have no prospects, you're an embarrassment. I was 12. I was a little bit strange but in an Indian family you're supposed to have your education sorted out by that age. So I'm going to go to Shailin, it order corrects to shaken. My surname is Chandra, it order corrects to chunder. So if you forget my name, just picture it with a ball ball that stood up bonnet. Yes, I am single, you guessed correctly. I didn't have a boyfriend with me together a while but things got pretty stale. So he said, one day, let's spice things up in the bedroom. I said, oh, what did you have at my aunt? He says, let's do something really kinky. Let's do something that nobody else is into, something to make people cringe. I said, oh, jury duty. So I put on a white curly wig and brought out my gavle and pounded away. I said, oh, rise and he did. I said, you've got a bad boy. I'm sentencing you to five years of listening to Nickelback. He said, objection, I said, overall bitch. He said, okay, let's forget that. Let's do something a little conventional that most couples do. Tomorrow night, let's have my parents bed in it. I said, okay, I can manage that. He arrived home the next day and said, where's my parents? I said, do mums in the stew when your dad's roasting in the oven. He said, where's my brother? I said, oh, sweet little boy. He's dessert. He said, what is wrong with you? I said, what, did you want stir fry? He hung his head in the exasperation and packed his bags and laps and I never saw him. I was sad, but I had meals for a week. You have to focus on the positives. I said to the barnet, give me a cocktail and hold the tail. And don't get it on my face. So it made me a cocktail and then proceeded to splash it all in the morning. The other bartender came along and made a cocktail and poured it down my back. And they high-fived each other. And they high-fived them. But I did eventually go on a date. He was nice. He was nice. We got along, we had a few drinks. He's an investment banker. So I said to him, Mr. Investment Banker, it's the old saying true. It's the size of a man's surtax directly proportional to the length of his GDP. He said, come back to my place and you'll find out. He said, I'll do a gap analysis. And then we can... Count us in the room. He said, I'll do a gap analysis and then we can strip our surplus and we'll long-rate our assets. I'll even throw in a gagging clause if that's what you're into. I said, well, that's just dandy. But I brought a wee fuck. Because as you struggle with ephemisms, don't you? I said, what's a ephemism? I still don't know. We eventually went to his place. And he proceeded to inject his dividends into my venture capital. Repeatedly. I said, oh, you can be my fiduciary any day. And then as we lay there and covered in each other's social enterprise, he said, I'd like to take this relationship further. I said, great. Tomorrow night, let's have dinner with your parents. Even for Ed Indians tonight, I kind of told...