This video is going to be about the anxiously avoidant baby. These babies look really chill and calm, but deep inside there's a level of anxiety in them because remember, all babies need to be close to their parents. These babies don't look like they need help and in fact they don't ask for much help. These are the babies who won't tell their parents if there's something wrong with them. Now, on the parent side, what people think is that these parents are a little bit neglectful or avoidant of emotions themselves and so they try to shut it down. Eventually the baby learns to wait a minute, no one cares whether I'm crying or not. And in fact, when I do cry, they don't even like you very much. So I better learn how to not cry or else I'm going to lose them. And what happens is that you start to numb out and you start to suppress all of those feelings. And over time, you eventually forget that you have feelings. These people literally have very little awareness of their emotions and they can't tell you what they're feeling inside. And I think that these babies actually have pretty good self-regulatory abilities. So they're the ones who can actually suppress all that feeling and take care of themselves. And then when their own abilities come online, they finally have something that they enjoy and delight in. They really like being able to care themselves and get food for themselves. They'll open their refrigerator and make a sandwich for themselves. And they enjoy exploring the world because it becomes a way to distract themselves from the relationship anxiety and it's also a way to just feel good about themselves and their abilities. So these babies become very external focused and accomplishment and achievement focused. And they'll want to be the best at whatever external thing they can be. And I think deep inside it's a way for them to still year-in for approval and admiration while still keeping people out of distance. Now as a student, this anxious person walks into the school kind of quiet, a little bit wary and maybe a little bit suspicious. But on the other hand, they can actually be the class clown because they will be superficially really popular and positive, but then no one really gets to know them on the inside. They don't really have any really close friends. Students and teachers might like this person, but there's a strange distance between them. You don't really feel like you know them really well. And sometimes teachers just forget that these students are even in the classroom. They'll still be working hard because these students love accomplishment and getting things done and being good at stuff. But they don't ask for help. They don't like participate necessarily that much. And they just put their heads down and get their work done. If they do ask for help, it'll be in the most minimal way. They might just whisper that they need help or just raise their hand very, very slightly. And then when the teacher doesn't respond, they'll think in their head, see, I knew that that person didn't even want to help me anyway. And then what happens is that the sense of self and the pride that the person has is very shallow. It's based on external things, accomplishments and certificates and all that kind of stuff, but not really just on a core sense that the person is just a decent human being that deserves to be loved no matter what. And so deep inside, there's actually a lot of insecurity and it's masked over by all these accomplishments. And people wouldn't even know that this person has insecurities because they just look like they're so successful or they just look like they don't care about anything. These are the kids who can either become the high achiever who doesn't have a lot of friends or the strange loner who is just smoking pot with a group of other kids who don't really get along with anyone else or this person could be the life of the party or the superstar athlete who seems to have a lot of friends and admirers, but really doesn't have any close friendships and focuses his sense of self on his status, his accomplishments and other external things. So that's the avoidant person. And this person also remember has an insecure attachment because deep inside everyone needs other people to survive.