And, you know, I was an alcoholic. Well, you're always an alcoholic. I'm sober now, but. When it gets over? I've tried for years, but, you know, more than a year ago, you know, because I think. Oh, but like that's recently. I had a couple of public things. Oh, great. Didn't know that. A couple of DUIs. No one. Not one. Oh. Two within six months. Like, are you kidding me? They wanted to send one more, and they sent you to adult military academy. There you have it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So no, it was, you know, you make mistakes. You don't drink a drive. Okay, please, ever. And, you know, those are some failures. And then you, you know, your kids have got to see this shit. And then it's on the news and all that stuff. And it's like, oh, God. But, you know, I guess to say it's another wake up call. I had been sober before that. And then just one day you slip and then you get behind the wheel. That's literally what had happened. Both times. Like slip like you had six months or a year. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you have a relapse. And then I'd solid time before that first one. And then you have a day and you're like, oh. The first one would make you drink. Oh, I'm triggered by everything. Well, that particular one, because, you know, you talk yourself into it. One, the one was, I decided I want to change my sobriety date to New Year's Day. That's a dumb that type of thinking is, right? That's the alcoholic thinking. You, the alcoholic will plan in scheme, right? And so you start planning and scheming and thinking how you're going to have that drink for what? Now, it goes back to the ADHD and the ADD. Because you need to suppress the thing that's going on. Like, you feel a bit out of control. So you want to control it. So you typically control it with a substance, right? Like, maybe I can put this in line. Or else, I feel like it's less, whatever. Racy. And so, yeah, you make those types of decisions for that reason. When I hear you talk about your alcoholism, I'm a cotipent. So my problem is, what kind of standard of behavior can I hold a drug addict or an alcoholic to? A sobriety is the only standard. But interpersonal. Should their behavior? Yeah. Oh, you can't do anything. No, I'm saying how should I react? I should I react with compassion? Yes. Yeah, you could say, I see you're struggling. Do you want to talk about it? That's all you can do. They're late. They're. And I'm not saying, because they're actually drinking, they're just. That's an alcoholic behavior. Yeah. Alcoholic behavior. My, it's over 25 years. I've figured out how to do it. But it's not easy. Meaning when I say it, I mean, hold the alcoholic or drug addict to a standard. They hate it. They plead how it's not fair, how it's wrong. That the, you know, all the alcoholics and mental illness excuses. And it's kind of like, I don't, that, it's kind of not my problem. It's not your problem at all. Is there a problem? If it affects your life, then it's your problem. And they're your problem. And then you have to just let them go. Especially if he becomes toxic. Or, you know, like that, if you hold them to a standard because you had to have a lunch date is one thing. Or if you're, they're working for you, then it's like you get, the third strike you're, you're done here. And I wanted to keep you on, but this doesn't work. I've had to get rid of some people in my life that are toxic. And it's like, oh, I've done you for almost 30 years. But you know what? You're kind of shitty. So yeah, no. Have people let you go and you've been like, I'm sure, I'm sure. There are some, there are some friendships that I'm, that are a mystery to me that aren't continued. And I've always been like, what, what did I do? And this goes back to possibly the impulsivity or the codependence, which is an insistence that we're friends in a certain particular way. And a lot of people like, that's not a, that's not the way I interact, I have interpersonal relationships. So, but if you have this codependence, what sometimes is triggered by the AD HD is because if you're not quite sure of yourself because of ADD, like is this, is this not aligned? Is that aligned? Then I'm checking with you, which makes you have to, then be my guardrail or just what you're talking about. Like, what is your responsibility to this person's crazy mind and how you have to deal and help him navigate the water? It's like, dude, you got your own boat. Maybe you should get out of the water. Yeah. So that those things invade on every level too. You know, check this, this checking in, this checking in, it's checking in. Well, it's checking in with the sick person. Yeah. For, it's going to the problem for the solution. Right. Although I will say I have told my kids, if there's one thing I would have redone, it's I never would have taken a drink. My life would have been much different. Yeah. Yeah. And I think I'd be much happier. Hmm. Had I never done that? I'm happier today if you'd never drink. Yeah. But you haven't drunk in a year. Well, I'm happy. Maybe right, but I can't be with my unbridled. Yeah. You're the 20-line highway. Yeah. But the, you know, you're really limiting your, the possibility of your happiness during all those years of drinking. 50 years. For the first time, I got drunk the first time at 10. Yeah. Yeah. And then it went on for 50 fucking years. I didn't know, I don't recall you being a drunk when we worked together. Well, no, no, I mean, it was always manageable. I wouldn't be drunk at work. Yeah. No, never at work. You didn't even seem hung over. You just seem like, you played a good drunk. Like we do, like, look. Right. So, yeah, you never struck me as drunk, but. No, no, not at work, you know. No, yeah, I got it. But I, it just, you didn't look puffier, whatever. So. There'd be spells. I could go. I would be able to go for six, eight months and not, not drink because I'd be determined like, I, this is in my way. Let me, let me put this down and I'll just get straight. And, but I wasn't in progress. Do you have a ton of regret missed opportunities? Things like that based around drinking and how did you handle, how do you handle the shame in the regret? You just don't like that. You have to look past it. It's, it's over. I didn't hurt anybody except myself. Yeah, you know, and I'm sure it's, you know, hurt me, work wise. But I'm sober now. And, but so yeah, and things like that, and just where you could have been better or sharper or whatever, or, you know, there was one show I was on and it was, it was where my marriage was falling apart and it was pretty obvious. Like, you got something going on there, big boy. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. It's, you know, here's the thing. It's not, it's never gonna help you. No, socially it makes people feel less anxious. Okay, I get it. So does box breathing. You know, so do that. Yeah, it's not for most. It's hard to box breathe and catch up. I'll say that. At a party. I've tried it. People didn't love it. Don't say before you go to the party, whatever. But you don't need to escape your present moment. What you, your, your desire is to be present. And so don't run away from it. Just get there. Stay there. People don't know the desires to be present. No, they don't know. They, they, there's just not, it's not what we're trained to do. Right. Hey, did you like that? Did you like that? Yeah, did you like it though? You want more? Don't want to work? Would rather watch videos of me grab assing with people? First, I'll go up here to subscribe and then go up here to watch more clips. This is like when the weather man does, there's a high pressure system coming in. I'm not really used to the green screen.