In a time of chaos and darkness, four young adults came forth holding the crystals as the prophecy foretold. The four warriors of light, gay face, badge flaps, poop, and asphalt, really, whatever. These four brave heroes embarked on an epic quest to restore the four crystals to grace. This was there, I'm not paid enough for this. This was their fantasy, their final fantasy. Okay guys, we each have a crystal that means we are destined to save the world. For some reason. Uh, do I know you? I don't recall ever existing before this exact moment. Oh God, what are we? Maybe this is why characters need backstories. Warriors of light, my daughter has been kidnapped by Garland. Do not fear your majesty, we will save her. Warriors assimilate. It saves a lot of trouble when traveling. And now we embark on our quest. Random battle. Quick guys, stand in a vertical row and let's take turns attacking and being attacked one by one. Wait, why? I don't know. Why are you literally black? Oh my God, warrior, you can't just ask people why they're black. We're here, Garland's lair. Wow, and it only took us 20 seconds. You can even still see the king from here. I, Garland, will knock you all down. Oh God, why am I so easily defeated? Your grace, your daughter has been rescued. Oh thank God, I shall have to begin prepping plans to rebuild the bridge connecting our kingdom to the outside world. Wait, so the kingdoms had no contact or supplies for all this time? Yep. And only now that your daughter has been rescued, you feel the need to reestablish that only link to the rest of the world. Yep. Very wise, your grace. Of course, after all, I am the king. I always make smart decisions like exiling a dangerous rogue knight so he can kidnap my daughter. Smart. Hey, how come you guys can use magic and we can't? Because we wear robes and carry sticks. Make sense, I guess. Quick, thief, that monster has valuable items. Oh, I actually can't steal. What? Your name is literally thief. How can you not steal? What can you do? I can run away. I think it's time we revised our lineup. Much better. I agree. We cross the river. What the hell? We've turned into a canoe? I can't feel my legs. This is no way to live. Oh my god, it's a vampire. I want to suck your blood. Blood, blood, blood. Man, that is so lame. Dude, this game came out in the 80s. Game? This is real life. Just sleep it off. You'll be fine. Good work, guys. You get experience points. You get experience points. You get nothing. Because you suck and you die. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Oh my god, will you shut up? I'm poisoned, you asshole. I'm pretty tired. Let's rest. Good idea. Wait, what are you doing? I'm pitching a tent. Stop it, you'll sink the canoe. Trust me, okay? See you, we're fine. This is very uncomfortable. I feel like you would have to have played the game and tried this very specific action to get this joke. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Is this really the only way across? Oh my god, for the last time, yes, it is the only way across. Now hold on a sec, I need to sort our inventory and use a lot of potions. I am not gonna lie, guys. I totally hit that. Yeah, I'd hit it. Me too. Meh. Ow. What the hell, man? I can't help it. I'm confused. What, to the point where you can't tell the difference between me and a giant freaking monster? I love you. Get away from me. Uh, warrior, don't you think we may be level grinding a bit too much? I don't have a problem. I can quit whenever I want. I never said you had a problem. Good, because I don't. Hey, does anyone else want to beat up more monsters? No, just me. I am the dragon king barha moot. I will present a title to those who have true courage and strength. Bring me proof of your courage. Okay. What? I don't know. A rat's tail. What? Really? Yes. Okay. Here. Wow. No one has braved the citadel of trials that fast before. I'm just that good. Woohoo! We got a freaking airship. The world is our oyster. We can go wherever we want. Actually, we can't land on sand. Which means we can't go to any of the deserts. Even though this ship came from a desert. Okay. Or explore the ocean. Huh. We can't land on small islands. Hmm. And also, we're nearly done with our quest. We don't really have anyone new to go. Whoa. Okay. So we defeated Garland in the four fiends. Now what? We go back in time and defeat the Morgan. Why? Okay, shopkeeper. Here's the deal. We're taking on the final dungeon and we're going to need a lot of supplies. We don't got a lot of cash, so... Sorry, Bob. No sale. Oh, come on. If we die, the whole world will be in danger. It's ain't a charity, chief. Look. Okay. What if you give us the supplies on loan and when we save the world, we'll reimburse you through the wealth. We'll surely accumulate from our newfound notoriety for being heroes. Hmm. No. I'm pretty sure when you save the world, the credits will roll and will all fade out of existence. Fine. We'll just go and unprepared and when we fail, it'll be blood on your hands. No. I'm pretty sure once you leave my shop, I cease to be an event in the space-time continual. When you defeated me in my time, the four fiends sent me back in time, then I sent them forward in time so they could send me back in time, so I could send them forward in time so they could send me back in time so that I could send them forward in time so they could send... Wait, wait, wait, wait. So you died. It got sent back in time by the fiends who you then sent forward so they could send you back. So if you're the one who sent them forward in the first place and they were the ones who sent you back first so you could send them forward, then how the hell did this time loop start? I... Uh, well, it's like, um... Uh... I don't think we should do time travel again in this series. Can I turn into my final form now? No. Ah! Ah! So easily, just to be did again!