I'm gonna go for the y'all! I'm gonna go for the y'all! Welcome back. Alrighty. My next guest, the very funny comedian from New York, making his very first appearance on The Tonight Show, which is all as exciting. He has his own comedy CD called Live in Houston. There it is, right there. Please welcome Louis CK. Yay! Thank you everybody. Thanks a lot. Hello, how are you? Good. Good. I like doing this because I like to talk to people that I don't know. You know, I do. Sometimes I just walk up to people I don't know and I just start conversations with them. I like doing that. But the way I like to do it, instead of starting a conversation in the beginning, I like to just start it in the middle. You should try it. Just walk up to somebody you don't know and just go, yeah, well, how do you think I felt? I'm married. I've been married for a couple years. I like being married. I don't like arguing, though. I hate it. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's easier. It goes quicker. She's like, what's wrong with you? And I'm like, I know, damn it. She's going to win anyway. I want to be on the winning side occasionally. Let's take her side. Well, it's how we're going to have kids and I'm excited because you know what I found out? You can name your kids anything you want. Isn't that amazing? There are no laws. I want to give my kid an interesting name, like maybe a name with no vowels, you know? Like, pull the stick, you know. Just 40F. That's his name. You know where you can name them anything or just vowels like, ah, you know what? You can put spaces in his name like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Some people name their kid a word, you know, like sunshine or battery or something like that. I like to name my kid a whole phrase, you know? Something like, ladies and gentlemen. That would be a great name. Yeah. This is my son, ladies and gentlemen. Then when he gets out of hand, I get to go, ladies and gentlemen, please. Somebody like to do it. But now we're supposed to be saving money because we have kids and we're not. We're just spending it. My bank called me, this is horrible, my bank called me and they said they're charging me money because I don't have enough money. She called me up, she's like, hi, we're calling to let you know you don't have enough money. And I was like, yeah, I know that. I know I don't have it. And she's like, no, you don't understand so you have insufficient funds. Well, that's a good way to put it too. I agree with that. I find my funds to be grossly insufficient. Thanks for calling. What is the point of it? So she says, well, you only have $20. You can't just have $20. Like, look, I'm not being broke just to mess with you. I just don't have any money. Like, I'm pulling a prank on the bank by being poor. So she says, we're going to have to charge you. So she charged me $15 for only having $20. So then I had five. Now, the thing about having only $5, you can't get it out of the bank. You can't get it out. It's so little they won't give it to you. There's no fives in the machine. You can't, you can visit your $5. You can call it on a phone and transfer it from checking to savings, back and checking, but you can't get it out. You know what I like to do? I like to just try to transfer crazy amounts. Just to hear them say it. Because do this when you go home. Like, call up your bank on the automatic thing. Because you get to hear them, you go, you're a transfer request of $10 million. It cannot be processed at this time. Because of your insufficient checking balance of $5. That's great to hear her say that. Anyway, I decided I'm going to get my $5. So I got to go in the bank, right? Which is hard because they're open for like 10 seconds. They're like, ah, they're closed. They're never open. But I go in. I get to a teller and I say, I want my $5. So she looks at me and says, you don't have $5. What happens is we charge you another 15 for only having a 5. So now, you know how much I have? I have negative 10. Negative 10. That means I don't even have no money. I wish I had nothing. But I don't not have any money. I don't have. I can't afford something that doesn't cost anything. I can't afford it. If somebody goes, hey, it's free, take it. I can't afford that. That cost me. That's more than $10 to be booked. Thanks a lot. You guys are doing right. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, honey. You're welcome. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you. That's funny. Well, that's very funny. Thanks, yeah. That's great stuff. Great stuff. Now, you are first time parent. Yes. Yeah, coming up. Coming up. No, when are your parents like? Well, they were kind of crappy parents, really. Yeah. Well, they were busy, you know. Yeah. And like, they sent me to Camp when I was in third grade. And they wanted to sort of toughen me up and stuff. And this is a true story, too. And they didn't know anything about camps. So they just chose when I did the yellow pages. Basically, it was like camp trees and grass. It sounded nice. So they just sent me to. This is a true story. I get there. It's a camp for retarded kids. Now, it's true. Now, the first thing I'm thinking is, you know, am I retarded? Am I retarded? Like, is this how they chose to tell me to just send them to the camp who figured it out? But the thing is, I had the greatest time. The camp was wonderful. Every game is as high. Just bull meadows for everybody. And I was just nice. Well, I love it. Well, it's very funny, folks. It's called Live in Houston. You can get on my website, LouisCK.com. On the website also, LouisCK.com. Good job, Louis.