Well, we're here today talking about our stories and whom to tell. Not if to tell, we're talking as Kate said about the difference between privacy and openness, not secrecy, we're not talking about if to tell. And as a psychologist in private practice, I was very familiar with people who had adopted, people who had been adopted and I knew of the potential harm that secrecy could incur. So I'd anticipated being open. And of course that meant being open with my four-year-old. And it was he, in fact, who got the ball rolling for me. I didn't see clients on Fridays. So on Fridays I went into his kindergarten class, which kind of creep here, and helped out. And one morning he raised his hand during show and tell and said he had something he wanted to share. So when his teacher called on him, he stood up and announced very proudly and very loudly. My mom has two end owners wins growing in her uterus. One of the things that we know about this process is that there are no rules for how to share. There can't be any rules because just as I demonstrated or my son demonstrated, once you share the story even once, you lose control of it. I had anticipated being open, although perhaps not quite so open so soon. And what I hadn't anticipated was, in fact, the flood of anxiety and shame that I felt in the first few months of my pregnancy after the delight of a successful conception had faded. So the question of whom to tell for me became an opportunity to do a lot of things. One was to just get support for myself by talking with people about what I was doing. Another was to reassure myself that what I was doing was okay and not a reflection of my inadequacy as a woman. Another was to face my fears of being rejected or worse, my children being rejected once people knew. And finally, to be an advocate to the world that this was an okay thing to do. So by the time the twins were born, the preschool teachers knew, the pediatricians knew, my friends knew, my family knew, the entire elementary school community knew. And if the cashier at the supermarket or the woman at the post office mentioned how much the twins looked like me, which they didn't, I would thank her and tell her what a coincidence that was because they shared none of my genes. And the more I told people the easier it got. And in fact, I never got a negative response. Over time, the story stopped being my story to tell though, as people have said. And it became the kids' story to tell if and to whom they chose. And a couple of nights ago, I asked the mother, the kids are almost 18 now, the twins. And I asked each of them if they had any thoughts at this point that they would share if they were here today. And my son, Jesse, said, it's no big deal. I don't ever think about it. And I said, well, and then he paused a moment and then he said, well, but actually you could tell people then that they shouldn't worry about their kids freaking out. And he said, and I said, well, so do your friends know and you said no? Like kind of a unites. Why would I talk about something like that? And later on when I asked my daughter Rachel, she said, well, it doesn't make any difference, but it's cool. I said, well, how is it cool? She said, well, yeah, I can say I'm part of Ryan. She said, you know, when kids talk about what I'm part Chinese, whatever, I can say I'm part of Ryan. I said, well, we're really, what are your friends saying? She said, well, you know, they say, well, you want to talk to Ryan? No, is he dad to Ryan? No, then, you know, how are you part of why? She said, so I tell them. And, you know, what are they saying? Well, it used to be that they didn't understand, so I'd have to explain it to them. But, you know, this idea, everybody understands. So it's cool. So I think about how I usually ask, believe it or not, if my joints were identical. Those attitudes are so not identical. But the part that is identical is, in fact, how little a big deal is for them. When the kids know, this is just their story. Every child has a story.