Well, recently on the celebrity print, just remember that Donald Trump was so impressed with Joan Rivers. He paid for new implants. Yes. And he asked her to replace Miss California. Please welcome Joan Rivers! APPLAUSE APPLAUSE Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! That's what happens when you know too many people. They show. No, no, no, no. My darling. You have your outs towards. Have your outs towards. Have your outs towards. Go to some clothes. Yes, because that repretted and we made, we gave our 10th millionth meal yesterday for God's love. Isn't that great? Yes. Because it's worth a drink. You have a star of the show. There's no doubt about it. And you took on that... What was she, a polka-plum? And a douche. And a douche, she called her. You still don't like her? You still pissed at her. Yeah. It doesn't go away. No, it doesn't go away. So what's the latest? I don't want to go. I don't want to be negative nor give people publicity because I'm not deserving of it. Never was. Never less. No, I mean, never is that. The good thing was, with celebrity predisposit, it was all about charity. And you know, you know me and charity. A year ago, Salvation Navy, I gave. Save the children from Michael Jackson. Very big darling. I listen to a new one. This sexually deprived scene is called, feels on wheels. So, I am definitely into charity. What about Perez Hilton? What do you think of that story? I do. He's crying on the tape now. You know, if you give it, you gotta take it back. If you give it, you gotta give it back. But if he said nice things, he wouldn't watch him. Well, that's what he said. Isn't that true? If there are two magazines. And once I said, Barbara Streisand, wonderful, terrific person. Barbara Streisand, biggest bitch in the world. Oh, I'll take that. Okay. It's true. It's true. I don't want to hear anything good about people. I want to hear that worse off than I am. I'm JD Manavida. You know what I mean? I am a... My social life. There are no second dates. No second dates. You've been busy after two. I wouldn't know. I want to ask how you keep it together, because you have a new show. I'll get six coming out. How did you get to... How did you get to Ritch? You're so rich. And then you're getting roasted on Comedy Central. Is it August 9? August 9. So with all going on and being as busy as you are, you still look so good. Tell me what you did. You're not saying what you did. Tell me what you did. You are such a bitch. Nothing. Nothing. She's not your cat. I'm not your cat. I'm not your cat. I'm not your cat. You know, don't you love these lies that we know? I'm not against it. Yeah. I'm not against it. You shouldn't be because you've got tracks going up the back of you. You can run a train. But I love it when friends look at you, Elizabeth, and they say, I'm just rested. Yeah. You fell asleep. I've got the upper edgy table. Yeah. You fell asleep. I'm not against it. Yeah. I'm not against it. Yeah. I'm not against it. You know when it's too much though, I went to the bathroom when I wiped behind my ears. So I said, nobody can make fun of you because you're doing first. When you're on celebrity apprentice, Melissa was on and your daughter and my daughter are almost the same age and you know that my daughter thinks Melissa is terrific. So what's gone on with her? She's dating someone she likes, surprised. That's supposed to be what. Well, now usually you have daughters. Yeah, I don't have. You should get married. Yeah, they usually bring home things that you go, what is this? I know. You like that. She should have brought me Bernie made off. She should have brought me some. Why? Why? Before he got going. I was still giving out some money. $63 billion. I would have had to give back $61. I would have said, give it back, but we'll keep on a little for ourselves. Now what do you think about same sex marriage, John? I'm totally against it. You are? Yes, because all my friends are gay and my blind gift. I am so scared. Now, just six bents. It's a fortune. And they all want to get married. They get back. Seriously, they're calling me and they say, can I use your house? I'll buy the jeez. I'm joking. You're all using my house to get funding. Here's in his towels. I don't know what you're buying. Go ahead. You are one busy lady. You're appearing at the Venetian hotel in Las Vegas, August 27th. You're the 29th. On a gondola, here's the. Yeah. Anything. And I'm Las Vegas. What do you like about Las Vegas? She got so rich. Oh, God bless Vegas. I'm telling you. I love it. How many great stand-up comments? Just for a moment, solidarity here. She's the best. She's our role model. All of us learn from jobs. Yeah. But, sure. Like I'm dead. Yeah. Whatever they say, we learnt. That means you're over. No, nothing now. No, you're going to be in Vegas. I like going next. I like to watch the show, girls. Because they're so gorgeous. But they're so stupid. And it's, oh. It cheers you up on your real house. Thank you, basketball. What? What? What? What? What? What do you think? It's so funny. She's perfect. She's perfect. I spent my life laughing alone, like a crazy person. But I saw the show girl. There was a sign that said, wet floor. She did. Now that's not brown. But. But it doesn't matter because men still love them. Right. And they almost take little bones. But they're enhanced also. I mean, yes. Not for nothing. You're enhanced. So are you planning any other plastic surgery? I know. Right now I'm doing kegels. Oh. You know, I'm a drug addict. I mean, do you know what I'm doing right now? I know. I know. I know. There's a whole week of. There's a whole week of. I have to ask you something. But by the way, Cindy Adams, Joan and I, I'm not kidding. We're talking about when we get older. Hold. We're going to have the three of us are going to take a poppin' to the same hotel. Can you imagine when our life is going to be like? That would be the goal, dude. We're going to share one nurse. Get a camera. We're going to be a terrible, the sister fetching. Listen, you know, our friend, Ed McMahon, passed away. Yeah. And you were very close to him. Give us your phone. I adore him. He was everything. You know, we all know you can be two things on television. He was everything you saw on television. That's what he was. That's what he was. He was honorable. He was generous. He played for the team. He was a good guy. And I, look at this. I really, when Johnny Carson didn't talk to me, and sent the word out, no one was allowed to talk to John Rivers. He would see me in a restaurant. He would come over and talk to me. Did he pick up a check? You know. He wasn't so nice after all. I just wanted to. He was a nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice. Everybody's talking to you now. And we're going to have a good time living together. How did you get so rich, Jones? New show famous. August 6 on TV land. You check your local listings. Always good to have you on. When we come back, Elizabeth is going to be a good guy. Always good to have you on. I'm going to be a good guy. When we come back, Elizabeth is going to find out different ways that she can give birth to baby number three. Bye.