If you chase a man, you're going to end up chasing him right out of your life. If you want him to feel closer to you, if you want him to value you, and if you want him to fall in love with you, never chase a man. Hi, my name is Matthew Coast. And today I'm going to show you why you should never chase a man, even if he's pulling away or going cold. And what to do if you're chasing him right now in order to turn things around and get him chasing you and investing in you and falling in love with you. So let's talk about the reasons why. Number one is that it's very easy for him to walk away from the relationship if you're the one chasing him. And here's why. There's actually a psychological principle that states that the more time, energy and effort that someone puts into someone or something, the more afraid they are of losing that person. It's something that I call the investment principle. And this applies to people, it applies to relationships, it applies to objects, it applies to just about anything. The more you invest in something, the harder it is for you to walk away from it. So if you're the one that's chasing him, if you're the one that's investing in him, he's not investing in you, it's a lot easier for him to walk away and it's a lot harder for you to walk away because you're going to get attached, you're going to feel so connected, you're going to feel like you don't want to let him go. And instead you want it to be the opposite, you want him to feel like he doesn't want to let you go, you want him to be invested and you want him to put in a lot of effort. Number two, reason number two is because he will end up becoming incredibly lazy. And so another problem that ends up happening when you chase a guy is that you're setting a precedent or something that I call a frame around the relationship that states that you're going to put in all of the effort. So this means that he'll end up getting lazier and lazier and he just won't feel like he needs to put any effort into the relationship because you set it up, you set a frame around the relationship that says, this is how I act, this is how you act, I put in all the effort, you sit around and do nothing. And the more you do it, the more it'll happen over and over again. And I've seen this play out over and over again with women all the time who end up feeling like they're doing everything, they're giving everything to a man, they're doing everything for a man and he's doing absolutely nothing. And instead, what you want to do is set a precedent or a frame that states that you're both putting in energy and effort if you're in a committed relationship, if you're before a committed relationship, you want a precedent that says that he's putting in more energy and effort than you are. And so number three, let's talk about number three, is that he will end up taking you for granted. So why does a man take a woman for granted when the woman is doing all the work in the relationship? It seems like he would value her more, wouldn't he? Well, the answer actually comes in the form of psychology and they've proven this over and over again, men value things that they work for and earn. And so you want him to work for and earn you that way he values you. If you're the one putting in all the energy and effort, you're going to value him more and more and more and he's just going to start taking you for granted. And we'll talk about how to turn this around at the end of this video. So number four is that he will be unsure about what he wants with you. And I've seen this, this is just it's sad to see, but I've seen it over and over and over again. Since he's going to value you less, he's going, he's likely to tell you that he's unsure or that he doesn't know what he wants when it comes to a relationship or he might avoid the topic altogether, which also really, really sucks. Or even worse, he'll tell you that he doesn't want a relationship and he just wants to keep things casual with you. And this is likely to drive you completely crazy and it's totally understandable, right? You're you're building this thing together. You see this future of this guy and this relationship that you want to have together, but he doesn't want to have that thing or he's confused. He's unsure about this. And so what this ends up doing is driving you crazy, making you question men, making you question relationships, making you question your own value or you really worth it. And a lot of women come to me in that space. And this is why it's so important for a man to value you because the more that he values you, the more he will be pursuing you for a real relationship. He won't be confused. He won't be, he won't know what he wants. He won't run away when he try to talk to him about relationships. He will be pursuing you for the relationship that you want. And that's what you want. Number five is that he's less likely to fall in love and stay in love with you. Women who work with me know one thing that is absolutely vitally important. And it's that a man's investment in you is far more important than your investment in him. A man needs to invest in you in order to fall in love with you. If you're the one investing, he's not going to get that chance. You want him to start from the very beginning to start investing and you want to set that precedent frame that says that he's going to be investing and what will end up happening is he will start rationalizing it in his mind. Why am I doing all this for her? Why am I putting in all of this effort? Why, you know, why am I going out of my way for her? And he'll start realizing that he's falling in love with you and that he really likes you and he'll start justifying it and it'll become like a snowball, right? That's rolling down a hill, just building up bigger and bigger and bigger as it goes down. And so if you're in a situation right now where you're the one that's chasing him and you want to turn things around and get the guy to start chasing you, here's what you need to do. I put together a video for you about how to do this exactly. If he's the one pulling away or maybe he's gone cold or ignoring you, I'll actually share a four word text message that clients of mine have used on men to completely turn things around where the guy actually apologized for pulling away or ignoring her and then they came in and many times these guys would come back and buy the woman drinks or dinner just to make up for pulling away. I'm also going to reveal a five word phrase that you never want to say to a man, a lot of women make this mistake and they'll say the more you say something like this phrase, the more it'll eat away at your relationship, causing him to lose interest and pulling away and disappearing on you completely. And so if you want to know all that information, click the button on the right hand side of this video to watch the video that I put together for you about it right now.