I don't know where SCP-666 and a half J. Object class sweet mother emerged as an evryketer. Special Contain Procedures. A minimum of seven onsite staff members of Abrahamic Faith must be present in SCP-666 and a half J's containment chamber at all times. SCP-666 and a half J must not come into contact with any living organism without the written permission of a level force staff member. Weaponization and use of SCP-666 and a half J in containment neutralization of Keter class SCP items is under review by the O5 Council. Description. SCP-666 and a half J is a crap stuff mushroom entourage produced by the Internal Foundation Keter in service Containment Cousine or the 45th Annual Site-19 Foundation Formal. Roughly 42% of the 1500 attendees consumed SCP-666 and a half J and were subsequently affected by anomalous properties. SCP-666 and a half J's effects started to become apparent approximately one hour after the conclusion of the main course, at which time event goers begin to complain of slight abdominal pain. By the second hour many attendees were complaining of significant digestive distress and all restrooms in the immediate vicinity were filled to capacity with extended cues. By the third hour medical investigative and plumbing personnel were being flown in from surrounding sites to aid and relief efforts. Those who have consumed SCP-66 and a half J say that it has an odd salty tends to it, likely caused by an experimental salt substitute used in its creation. It has been theorized this substance is the root cause of SCP-666 and a half J's anomalous properties, although food poisoning as a result of poor hygiene amongst culinary personnel has also been considered. All staff members affiliated with Containment Cousine have been put into custody for interrogation purposes as well as the individual's own well-being. When consumed by a human subject, SCP-666 and a half J triggers five stages of localized K-class scenarios within the subject's digestive system. In its initial stage, SCP-666 and a half J causes a brief period of malnogia followed by a sudden and urgent need to relieve oneself. However, the instant before the crucial moment of blessed release, SCP-666 and a half J triggers a D-K-class dominant shift, season control over the subject's nethir regions and causing a massive shutdown of all the subject's bodily exits. The deep, carnal desire for release increases to the point that it becomes downright crippling. Subjects often experience shortness of breath, extreme jaw pain from the clenching of teeth, and mild bruising on hands for putting the rim of the toilet in a death grip. After 15 to 20 minutes of the subject's intestines experiencing a level of containment, rivaling that of SCP-106 and involving substantially more screaming, the subject will experience a brief R-K-class rapture scenario, filling a relaxation of the lower muscles, a wave of elation, and a fleeting hope of the worst has passed. Following this, the gates of hell open up within the subjects and testons as Satan himself violates the subject's anal canal with a pickaxe. A sudden, S-K-class gorge urge scenario completely raises the interior lining of the afflicted digestive tract as unholy murder flame rages throughout in a demonic war text, with a temperature of roughly holy crap on a cupcake-degrees kelvin. Every happy memory, every recollection of peace, joy, or anything other than cheer-teach-shattering agony is volcanically obliterated in a gastrointestinal supernova of biblical proportions. Subjects may experience blackouts or periods of lost time bearer disfaze, their state of being reduced to a tear-blurred haze of torrential sweat, agonized whales, and desperate gas for air. This continues for the next two to three hours. It is common for subjects to briefly hallucinate during a stage, creating comforting mental scenarios in which they are violently murdered by various Keter-class SCP entities. Any last messages of hope are crushed in the tiny nubans as subject undergo a CK-class total containment failure, finally expelling the contents of their bowels in a mendificent rip tide that could best be compared to a single large leak in a Hoover Dam. An unfathomably vast expanse of liquid ejected at a fast rate, enough to be upsetting, but not fast enough to be merciful. Subjects have described the experience as the digestive equivalent of one's life flashing before their eyes, with every meal eaten during individual's lifetime as scrutiny leaked funneled out in reverse chronological order. The downright baffling amounts of waste produced by the inflicted has led researchers to conclude that subjects and testinal tracks are imbued with extra-dimensional or ecto-entropic properties during this time. The ejected waste does not resemble good, wholesome fecal matter in the slightest. Rather, it is a roast-offel terror slush that is probably corrosive and almost definitely radioactive. The expulsion stage is usually barely brief, but an anomalous temporal field created by SCP-66 and a half-J causes subjects to perceive the experience as lasting roughly six lifetimes. As the subject's ability to endure the emotional, physical trauma of the end of days in Ferno raging within the tenderest parts and heavily fails, SCP-66 and a half-J will enter its final stage. A UK-class universal collapse scenario, and which does subject experiences one final crescendo of gastric ragdoroc, followed by a blessed, merciful state of unconsciousness. Subjects will awaken one to two hours later with full memory of their experience, however a number of afflicted individuals have reported finding themselves moved from one location to another during this period of time between passing out and regaining consciousness. One researcher testified to haven't found himself in a nearby field, clean and fully dressed and laying a top of pile of 1986 time magazines with no memory of how he arrived there. Subjects who undergo SCP-66 and a half-J's effects often bear psychological trauma as a result of the event, as well as residual intestinal discomfort for the following fortnight. Investigations are ongoing. Group of interest involvement is being considered. Having experienced both childbirth and the effects of SCP-66 and a half-J, I can safely say that I would choose the former any day of the week. SCP-66 and a half-J is like having three babies at once, except they're all on fire. Also, they're covered in thumbtacks and trying to eat you from the inside out, all while the midwife had beaten you since over the crowbar and screaming in your ear to push. Dr. Wright. I ordered the beef entree and therefore cannot give any first-hand account of SCP-66 and a half-J's effects. However, I could say with certainty that I've seen Keter-class containment breaches cause less pandemonium and widespread demoralization. It was, without a doubt, the second darkest night, sight-19 has seen. This is my third body since the incident, and I still don't feel like it's worked its way out of my system yet. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go try for a fort. Dr. Bright. It's been three weeks I'm starting to wonder if I ever be able to stand up straight again. I have stared death in the face and he has garnished with parsley. Dr. Kondraki. Incident log. On April 26, 2007, a small quantity of SCP-66 and a half-J, with fed to it as of then harmless Euclac-S SCP object by researchers. The object has since shown extreme hostility towards anything resembling human life. Additionally, a mysterious substance, an unknown origin manifesting on the floor of the SCP-Containment Chamber has created the need for routine cleaning. Cross exposure of SCP-66 and a half-J, in any situation under an attempted neutralization, has since been prohibited. Addendum. Despite objections by the ethics committee, a meal of SCP-66 and a half-J with fed to SCP-682. At the apex of SCP-66 and a half-J's wrath, SCP-682 threw its hands in the air, screamed, Yogg's author took me now and will only left him mortal coil. Neutralization deemed successful. Jesus wept, Dr. Cliff.