The M. Mr. President, welcome to the Republic of Moldova, a glorious country that you've probably never heard about. Where is Moldova? But it's true. It's a great country. By the way, much better than Romania. Romania sucks big time. Romania sucks! Romania sucks! The Republic of Moldova is the number one country in the world. Yes it is. But the liberal media says we drink too much. It's so not true. We just like our Ryan and we love to celebrate. We even got a wine collection of 1.5 million bottles, kept in the largest underground wine seller in the world. In case of a nuclear attack, there is enough room for everybody. Well, except for Romania's. No Romania's allowed. None. And by the way, heavy drinking is not an issue. It's just a second job for the mayor of our capital city, Kishin' Al. Speaking of Kishin' Al, it's the most terrific city in the world. Fantastic. The greatest tourist attraction and the main driving force for the Moldova economy, the central market. Or as we like to call it, the place where we grab you by the Petrojele. What other place in the world can be at the same time a central bus station, an agricultural market, and the main office for all the bags, snatches. We love it and we're pretty sure that you love it too. Just like yourself, Mr. President, we Moldova's very much love pussy. Back in the days when Moldova was still great, we were under the bright rule of the Communist Party. And everybody, including kids and schools, proudly sang our national anthem. It's an great, fantastic, on November 13, 2016, we elected Mr. Igor Dadan as President of the Republic of Moldova. Yes, you heard it right. This pro-Russian, misogynistic, homophobic, religious, fanatic is the litter of our country for the next four years. Dadan is such a great guy. A good man, so strong, so handsome. Most of the time he is quite Igor, but sometimes he can become very Dadan. Anyways, the best guy so far. Igor Dadan and Vladimir Putin, they're just a pair of star cross lovers. Oh, how we wish the three of you could all be together one day. We heard you want to build a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. That's great. That's the best idea ever. But we don't even need a wall to separate us from Mexico. We are the Mexicans. Yes, we are. We are very good at construction and it's amazing how Europeans, they call us Mexicans, the Russians, they too, call us Mexicans. The Russians also call us Mews or Remanians, but mostly Mexicans. You have Kanye West, we have Tariy Drogan. You have Fox News, we have four TV channels belonging to one single man who also happens to be the president of the ruling party. You have Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, we have Pashtilie Blaszenular. It's the best day to commemorate all the dead people by wearing jewelry and stripper clothes and drinking ourselves to death. Also, Moldova gave to the world a lot of famous people, like Dan Balan, Xenia Deli, and Valerianman Zat, a super rich, extravagant lawyer. He used to work in an office right in front of a prison. Now he lives in front of his office, so sad. Moldova is also a very fast country. That's true, we're so fast, we've even started to shrink. Big time. 30 years ago, there were 4 million of us. Now there's only 2.5. We have one of the fastest shrinking countries on earth, so you better get to know us right now before we disappear. And if we would actually think for a second, Moldova does need a wall, but this time, it's not going to be a wall for those who want to come in, but for those who want to get out. So for all of those who think it's okay to move to another country, at their own will in expenses, we will build a huge wall. And inside of this wall, you are going to be taken care of by the political class, because the political class in Moldova is just great. They're so nice, they're just great guys. Mr. Trump, I hope this video convinced you that we need you, because we need somebody who can take the brand of the Republic of Moldova and make it great again. And until it happens, can it please be America first, Moldova second, hand, or something?