I'm a professional comedian, right? So if something goes wrong, like, dope's not always work, so if a joke doesn't work, you just keep throwing stuff out there until you find something that sticks, right? It's basically the same thing that the Treasury Department's been doing for the last one to have. So here's the economics recipe for scrambled eggs. I find a large pan with a convex hull. There are probably about six people in the world who get that joke. I'm happy to see that all of them are here tonight. Put the pan on the stove and add two tablespoons of olive oil. If you're a Keynesian, stimulate the pan over medium heat. If you're not a Keynesian, don't stimulate the pan. Just wait until the oil is hot, but not smoking. May take a while. While the oil is heating, you want to lightly beat six eggs. If you're believing in dodging his growth theory, then only beat five eggs, and then later add a chicken press. Meanwhile, you want to chop an onion into pieces so small that no one piece can affect the dish as a whole. You want to saute the onions, cook the eggs, serve immediately. If you're a Keynesian, you have to make sure to turn off the stove. They often forget that stuff. And finally, when I add salt until the marginal benefit equals the market price. This recipe actually comes from one of my favorite economic cookbooks, rational expectations by Robert Lucas. This is not my all-time favorite economic cookbook, however, my all-time favorite economic cookbook, Bach Choices by Melton Rose Friedman, cooking solo by Robert Solo, meals for one. And the Republicans are destroying America cookbook by Paul Friedman. There are also a number of diet-fat economics cookbooks. These are someone on savory. The most common one, of course, is the Eatmore Waylast secrets of the Lapper Curve Diet by our Lapper. This one continues to be advertised on the editorial page of the Wall Street Journal. And of course, by John Maynard Keynes, who could forget in the long run we're all going to experience weight loss. All right, so what do we expect when you're expecting the Nobel Prize? So here's what you can expect when you're expecting the Nobel Prize. First, you should expect an early morning phone call from a long dead economist. So they have transcripts of interviews with the Nobel Prize winners on the morning that they won the Nobel Prize. So this is a transcript of an interview of Edmund Phelps in 2006 by the editor-in-chief of Nobel Prize.org, whose name just happens to be, well, you'll see in a moment. So here's the phone call. Hello, may I speak to Professor Phelps. Please, who's calling? I'm calling from the Nobel Foundation, and my name is Adam Smith. He responds from Edmund Phelps. Ha! Do a Janum Smith response. I know it could be a hoax call with a name like that. It's a terrible word in my diary. This is Leon and Herwitz and his wife Evelyn in 2007. Good morning, Professor Herwitz. And he says hello. And his wife says he's hard-appearing. And Adam Smith says, I'm sorry, I'll speak louder. Can you hear me now? And she says, yes. And he says, thank you. My name is Adam Smith and, ha! We have a whole series of jokes through the cartoon book about congratulations you in the Nobel Prize. And I wanted to share a couple of those with you. Ronald Cokes, if there's nothing to stop you from trading, nothing will stop people from trading. I get a background, sometimes crime does pay. John Nash, I figured out the optimal strategy for rock-paper-scissors. James Tobin, this is actually based on a true story that when he went to give the Nobel Prize, his Nobel Prize speech, the reporters at the press conference afterwards said, tell us about Porfoyle's election theory and he started telling him about equations and variables. He said, no, no, no, make it simple. And he said, well, it's kind of like don't put all your eggs in one basket. And then the next day headlines around the world said, economist, once Nobel Prize, we don't put all your eggs in one basket. And here's Joseph Stiglitz, sometimes you missable hand is invisible because it's not there. Classic Stiglitz line. Daniel Cahneman, human beings are not always rational. George Agarloff, buying an individual health insurance policy can be a real pain in the neck. And I flew out here from San Francisco, along with my father and my godmother Betty. And George Agarloff was on my plane, which was, I was too embarrassed to introduce myself. Because he was right there, I was like, oh my god, it's George Agarloff. And of course there were tons of other economists who were on the plane. And when I got off the plane, I told my godmother this. I said, Betty, there were a lot of economists on the plane. And she said, yeah, I figured as much. And I said, how did you know that there were so many economists on the plane? Well, they all seemed like they were kind of mixed up. I think it's a pretty great book. Other people have taken a look at it and they think it's pretty nice too. So for instance, Greg Nankue likes it. So he called it a painless way to learn economics. I wrote a parody of Greg's textbook in his 10 Principles of Economics. And basically the only thing that I think I could have done that would have been more mean to Greg Nankue would have been to post something on my blog calling his book a painful way to learn economics. So the fact that he called my book a painless way to learn economics is actually extremely generous of him. By the way, you can buy my book on Amazon.com for $12.11. You can buy Greg's book on Amazon.com for $160. Or you can buy the two of them together for $120.