This wasn't the video I expected to make in but yeah, this is just the way things going today. So I just want to be transparent and honest. This has happened for me times or four with my whole YouTube career. I've been making YouTube videos for almost six years now. This is my actual second channel, at least I have no channel, but that got deleted. Had almost 100,000 subscribers got deleted for various different reasons that I won't go into. And yeah, I have just loved making YouTube videos over the last six years. But I'm telling you at the moment, and this has been like this for a while now, if you've noticed for the last month, I haven't made that many videos and the month before that as well. And normally in the past, I've made videos almost consistently on this YouTube channel. But I just got to a point of the moment where I just don't want to make content like. Especially after I did my four month transformation video, took me four months to collect all the footage that I did for that. And then I spent over three days editing it will not all the hours over this three days with the majority of them. I put so much time and effort into it. And it got hardly any views, got over 2000 views. And this still just keeps happening on this channel at the moment. So many of the videos that I spent a lot of time on, I just not getting a lot of views. It's just like I'm putting all that time and effort and it just feels like the effort to work is just not there. It's just like what is the frigging point? The like it's just making me not feel good about myself. Well, it's not making me but I'm not feeling good about myself. I'm feeling like a bit of a failure with it. It's just like, it's just not giving me anything good internally whatsoever. When I'm going about my life and just doing what I want to do and not doing YouTube, I feel amazing within myself. When I'm going to the gym, spending time with people that I want to spend time even doing the things that I want in life and just living my life without thinking about YouTube, I feel amazing. But unlike in the past, it used to be like, I was doing really, really well, a lot of time on YouTube. And because I was doing well, it's getting dopamine from it, which makes me want to come back and keep making it again and again. And I was always thinking about YouTube, sleeping it, like eating it, drinking it, you could say like, always just on my mind all the time. And that's when I had so much passion and drive for it. So yeah, it's just like, yeah, I'm just finding it hard work. I just keep forcing myself to make content that doesn't do very well. A lot of it, somebody does, the majority doesn't. And I want to be changing the direction of this channel into like a fitness channel. I've tried it for it and work with, and I've been thinking about doing it recently. I've been doing a few videos on that type of topic. And it doesn't seem to be going to well, but the thing is, the majority of my subscribers on my channel don't necessarily want to watch those videos. So what I need to do is keep making videos that I consistently start getting new subscribers and new audience on my channel. And then it could grow. But yeah, I just haven't got much of an incentive to be doing it. For those reasons and many other reasons as well. It's just like, yeah, it's just not bringing me any joy in life, what server just makes you feel apathetic and demotivated. And I don't really just don't want to do it. So it's not really the best for me to keep forcing it. Because then I'm not necessarily going to make the best content. And maybe not have the best ideas for content, even though the content I have been producing has been really good recently. And also, I have another YouTube channel. And I'm not going to talk about it or, well, link it down below or say what the name of it is. Because I just don't want to share this YouTube channel on this channel. Because it's not really relevant with the content on this channel, the people that watch this channel. But this is channel me and my girlfriend started not that long ago. And it's like every video, even the ones that aren't the best will get like 20,000 views easily. The ones that are doing the best get hundreds of thousands of views. Some of them even two million views. It's like the incentive for that is really there. We took a break from it. But we're going to come back to that fully now. So it's just like, I feel so much passion for that. So much creativity, so much joy. And I'm looking forward to it so much. I have the excitement with this other channel and the content we make on there. So yeah, I'm not sure what's going to happen in this channel. Maybe I just have a break from what I've had to do since the past where I'm not feeling very motivated to make content anymore. And it's not giving me that spark anymore. And just that zest for life. And all the enjoyment that you really want to be getting for it. Rather than it feeling like a nine to five job. Because that's what it's been feeling like. Not like I've ever worked a nine to five job because I've been an entrepreneur. Pretty much my whole adult life. And since I've been working. So yeah, me and my girlfriend are going to start going in the direction of that channel. We see how that pans out. And I'm sure we'll want to come back and start making content on this channel. But for now, it's just like I just don't want to any waste shape for me. I might take a break for months. I might take a break for a week or so. But yeah. And my girlfriend's very aware that it's affecting me in a negative way. And she's just like, why are you bothering with this? This is not this is not good for you in any way. Shape or form. Why not just spend time and other things that actually bring in the most joy. And that's what I said to people. If you want to be happy truly in life, you got to do more of the things that you love to do as much as you possibly can. And you'll live the best happiest fulfilling most joyful life that you possibly can. But when you're doing things such as pursuing a career that you really don't love, it's really going to just bring you down and affect your whole human experience in a negative way, which is just not good at all. So yeah, I'm not quitting YouTube as a whole. I just feel that I need some time away from this channel. But yeah, the reason why I made this video is because YouTube is very happy for me. And I wanted to make a video on it something else. But then I was like, you know what? That is not being true or myself. I've got like this like hurt in my heart where I feel upset about this. It's not making me feel good emotionally. It's like for me to then put on a front in a character where I'm talking about something that's going to educate you. And then I've got that going on inside me. That's not me being authentic and true to myself at all in any way. Shape or form. So yeah, this is my therapy. And many times when I had things going on in my YouTube career over the last six years and I voiced it, it really does help me start to process and move through what I need to go through. So then I come through the other side and not have to have that going on within my emotional body and my human experience anymore. Yeah. So I choose life. It's not the end of the world. Life goes on. YouTube is not into life. Yeah, it's just a camera in front of you. You're just talking to an audience, but yeah, yeah, we just see what happens. And that's what I would just say to you in life. If you're not enjoying what you're doing for a career, find a way to get out of it, find another way to make money and do what you love to do. But yeah, I'm definitely finding something that I can put my energy into because if someone that hasn't got saying to work towards with a career or a passion or a purpose, whatever you want to call it, I just feel not as good as I can possibly feel. I love being productive. And I love creating things and helping others and sharing a positive message throughout the world in whatever way that I want to. Yeah. And my last thing I want to mention is there's been times in my life and there's so many other people that are doing this now that have done this in the past where you're a pursuer in a career normally most people, for obvious reasons why they're pursuing it, is due to the money that they're earning. A lot of people will do anything to money. And I'm telling you, yeah, you can do that. But if it's not something that you truly enjoy and love doing it, you're not being nothing to yourself and it is going to destroy you from the inside out. It's just not going to be good in any way. So, if you're mental health, you're physical health, just your whole human experience in every single way. It's just not going to make you the best version of yourself. It's not going to make you the best person to be around with other people that are in your life. And it is just not a good direction to go in in any way, shape or form. So, yeah, for me, I've done that at times in the past with various things. And in the end, I get to the point where I just keep grinding it out, keep doing it. And I get to a point where I'm like, this is enough, I can't do this is a breaking point. And this is what I just feel like I'm at with this YouTube channel at the moment for very understandable reasons. So, I keep you updated and let me know your thoughts on this. Like, maybe you've got some positivity to share with me or others. So, yeah, that's it for me this video. Don't forget to leave as always your comments, your questions, your likes, your shares and don't forget to subscribe. So, enjoy the rest of your day, make the most of it and catch you on the flip side. Peace.