Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan Asley of Jonathan Asley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic don't give a man space when he pulls away and here's why, okay? Don't give a man space when he pulls away. Here's why. Okay, really quickly if this content here resonates with you and you've been interested in hiring a coach, check out the link below for a free discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you and that call is with me. All right, our topic don't give a man space when he pulls away. So there's this interesting point of view I've heard from others in my industry that says when someone pulls away in relationship and this is mostly centered around men pulling away in relationship that what you should do as a woman is give him space. You give him space. Okay? Now here's the interesting thing about this. Oh, and by the way, you give him space, you focus on yourself and allow him to come back and claim you. Okay, that's the advice. You give him space, you focus on yourself and then you allow him to come back to you and you allow him to claim you and you don't accept him unless he's claimed you back. Okay, that's the advice. First off, when someone's taken space, when someone's pulled away, they're the ones who took space. There is nothing you can do at this point because they're the ones who took space. So you can't give someone space when someone who's already taken space. So I just find that ludicrous. There's nothing, you know, that person's already taking space. So they've taken space. Okay? You can't give them the space. They've already taken it. So does that first off make sense? Now, I do agree that when someone pulls away that chances are, or not chances are. Well, let's get to why they pulled away in a second. But when they pulled away, what's most important is you nurture your soul, you nurture your sovereignty, you nurture your self-love. And if you need support and help on nurturing your self-love, then I highly recommend you checking out my book called What the Heck a Self Love? Anyway, by Jonathan Asley, there's a link below called Self Love the Book. Now, all right. So here's the differentiation between you're in a happy, loving, juicy, delicious relationship. You're madly in love with each other. And a guy takes a little bit, he pulls away a little bit. That's a very natural reaction because human beings all need time to recharge their batteries to not be so fully, you know, expected on taking care of someone else's needs. So there's going to be times when people are in a juicy, delicious, loving relationship that they just need a little bit of space. But it doesn't mean space from the relationship. It just, they just need a little time to recharge their batteries. That's a very common, healthy thing to do. And couples that are happily in relationship, they take time for each other. That's a healthy thing to do. When a guy actually pulls away from the relationship, he's pulling away. That means he doubts the relationship. That means he's doubting you. That means he's doubting himself. And chances are he's not ready to fully commit into a relationship. So when a guy, in your, let's just talk about you're in a casual relationship or an uncertain relationship. You're in a casual relationship or an uncertain relationship. This is the time you actually lean in and ask what the heck is going on. We don't give someone space. We check in because you don't want to invest one minute on your own thinking he's going to come back when he has no intention of coming back. Okay. The mediocre relationships, those are ones when the person pulls away. It's because there's huge doubt going on. So you want to gain clarity and some certainty around what's going on. This is why I highly recommend the book, eight dates by Dr. John Gottman before the penis ever gets to go inside the vagina. Understand the mechanics of a healthy, happy relationship, including one of the chapters in here is when you have conflicts and learning how to resolve them. Because here's the bottom line ladies, he's taken space. Now you can go take care of yourself and hope you're going to be hoping, hoping, hoping, hoping, hoping, hoping, hoping, hoping, hoping. He's going to come back and claim you because you're so into your feminine energy right now that he's just going to naturally come after you. No, that's a crock. The reasons why he became pulled away are distant are a lot of heavy shit. That means he's probably not capable of being in a relationship. This is why I highly recommend you checking out the book, non-violent communication by Marshall Rosenberg. So you can learn how to ask what the heck is going on because here's the thing. You've given them space. And by the way, sometimes this space could be weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. That's not how two grown-ups operate in relationship. If you want to be with a grown-up, a man who's a genuine grown-up, then you better, again, another book that both of you should be reading before the penis gets to go inside the vagina is the for agreements. The for agreements. Here's the bottom line and I'm tired of this not happening because two people aren't making a commitment before sex. These are ambiguous relationships. It's what Esther Perel calls stable ambiguity, which is companionship, connection, and sex. And the ambiguous part is the commitment to the process of exploring a relationship. What you should be doing is getting really crystal clear on what your standards, oh, I'm yelling, get really crystal clear on the standards that you want for yourself. And say this is your bare minimum you're going to even accept in beginning exploring a relationship. Do you hear what I'm saying? Exploring a relationship, exploring commitment. There's a consciousness, there's a intentionality, there's purpose behind this. But of course, we can just sit back and lean back and just be in our feminine energy and just hope guys are going to gravitate towards us. Yeah, we will for a second when we want to get laid. But that's not, if you want to be in a healthy relationship, then you've got to learn the mechanics of a relationship. And the reality is ladies, men are clueless and so are you. Because I can tell you, most of you have no clue how a healthy, happy relationship works. You know why? Because you're watching these videos. If you're watching these videos, this chances are, well, at least my videos are a little different. Watch Susan Winters videos. She's certainly different. Because here's the bottom line. You would know all this stuff and you wouldn't be choosing men that would pull away. And then you're trying to figure out how to get them back. Stop trying to get a guy who's pulled away back. Get crystal clear on what's going on and then move on and take care of really good care of yourself. All right. Do we have an agreement? Close to comment if you agree with this. If you have a question, please post it. I do my best to read all of them. All right. I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic, Jonathan Bear, hug of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love. If that's okay, I'm going to ask you to turn to someone or a pet or even a teddy bear and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye bye now.