I know that we made a promise when we were little, you know, I broke one already that we were gonna stay together forever and we weren't gonna marry anybody. And then we promised once that if we ever got the chance to go see Dad, we'd do it together. But he's been trying to contact me for a very long time and I've been ignoring him because of the letters who mentioned me and Mikey. And I asked about you and he hasn't, but... I wonder if it'll hurt his case if I go that's why. My dad sexually abused me for four years that I remember specifically and he never admitted to it. He always called me a liar. He always said that I was lying that my mom put this in my head that she was a monster. But my mom never put this in my head. This is something that I remember. There's just a lot of emotions that I'm feeling like. And then I don't wanna see him unless he does, sorry. You know, I need him to say sorry because I need him to recognize it. His choices didn't mess everything up. I just want you to know if you wanna go see him and he wants to have a relationship with you or I'm gonna be okay with it. I don't think you should live with that what if, especially if he's looking for you, you know? I just need that closure, whether it's gonna be we're gonna keep a relationship or whether it's just the closure of... I got to meet you, you know that I'm fine with or without him. And if he does say sorry then, I do, you know, like I do want that relationship but if he doesn't, I don't.