I'm a lot more nervous about being up on stage than I was my first sexual experience. I was a performer for a full five minutes up here and Mum would have a live with less judge men for. I was never convinced with the whole tinder cry. And so my mates told me how much they were picking up on it. After six months all I had was RSI and domestic tea-duty. And I still had it met anyone. Like any 37-year-old that's made it in life, about a year ago, I was unemployed with my parents and I was single which was also my tinder profile. Funnily enough I ended up meeting my wife at the desperate and dangerous spot. We had something in common, RSI and STD. On our first day she told me that she only eat healthy and things that taste good. So good thing early that I ate half a pineapple. A few months in, a few months in, your conversation started. She said to me, Adam, how many people have you had to eat? I don't care if it's not something ridiculous like a hundred. I said babe, it's closer to 150 which was also the average weight of the girls. Now we've been married six months or after we were married for six months. I found it was only one word that transformed my wife from a nun to a 18-year-old at schoolies. Babies. Now that we're trying for a kid, she said to me, Adam, you can't be drunk or on any medication because the kid will end up in an alcoholic and a drug addict. I told her she was crazy. Half of all births were the result of drugs in alcohol. Just like my erections. We went out with another couple for our $30 smashed abo. I started chatting to my wife's friend. She was telling me how jealous she was that my wife had six three times a week where she was like it'd get at three times a year. I found it strange as I'm only getting up once a month. Thank you. I'm not a month from Pavlova before I guess too salty.