Approximately one in four children experienced child abuse or neglect in their lifetime, according to the National Library of Medicine. Think about a normal routine day. We're bound to see groups of children heading to school and universities. It's heartbreaking to do the math. Parents are viewed as superhumans, people whom we can rely upon, who are supposed to have our back at any stage. But a lot of times they can say hurtful and destructive things without realizing the psychological damage they cause their kids. A study, including German citizens, showed that negative words cause subjects to release stress and anxiety inducing hormones. So words have an impact. Whether you're a parent or a child yourself, these eight things can be helpful in recognizing the toxicity that surrounds children. Number one, let me do it. On the face of it, this doesn't necessarily seem negative, but one said in a condescending manner, it can make a child feel that they're incapable of producing an efficient outcome. Think of this, a child is trying to button up their shirt, and after five minutes of struggling, you jump in and finish their difficult task. How does that make them feel? It feels discouraging and cuts down their confidence. This is a manifestation of over-parenting, which is associated with higher levels of narcissism and more ineffective coping skills like internalizing and distancing, for example, which in turn are related to greater anxiety and stress in young adults and children. Number two, can you change your appearance? A 15-year-old puts on a dress and does their hair to go to a friend's party. You stop them so that they can fix their appearance according to what you think would look better. Even when parents know their children inside out, telling someone that the way they've chosen to look is not appealing can be devastating to handle. You being judgmental might not only bring down their confidence, but also make them shy away from being their true selves, and showcasing their own taste. If prolonged, it could emerge in forms of self-consciousness, or even eating disorders. In a study by UCL in 2015, the quality of the parent-child connection was examined using a sample of 5362 people, wherein they were shown to be happier and more content as adults if they felt their parents were less psychologically controlling and more caring when they were young. Number three, you disappoint me. When your child gets to know that there is disappointment to you, it can make them feel inadequate, as they're not able to meet the standards you've set for them as their parents. By saying this, you're telling them that they don't live up to your expectations, and therefore, feelings of unworthiness flow from within. Number four, it's your fault. Now, think of yourself as a 5-year-old, playing around the house, and you accidentally knock over a beautiful vase sitting on the shelf. One of your parents comes home from work, and they unleash their intense anger and rage on you. How are you, as a 5-year-old, bound to feel? The impact of a parent's rage may be felt by children even after they grow up, which can include rising depression, social alienation, and abuse. In a study involving children aged 5-6, those who enacted achievement situations in which teacher criticism was presented, were more likely to make global negative self-judgments, including negative judgments of their goodness. Number five, why don't you try to be more like them? It's natural to idolize someone, but asking a child to be like someone else does not only make them feel ignored, but unaccepted the way they are. This constant comparison by their supposed strongest ally, whether intentional or not, can have devastating consequences for a child. As a result, many people suffer from low self-esteem, chronic self-doubt, and even depression. Number six, you're too sensitive. Not letting a child feel their emotions is one of the worst things a parent could ever do. Emotional neglect follows when a parent fails to pay attention to their child's emotional needs. As a result, they stop seeking support, and these issues can get manifested in their adult life. They might end up feeling clueless while trying to deal with their emotions. In a 2021 longitudinal study of 3,265 children, it was found that childhood emotional neglect was significantly associated with depressive symptoms in late adolescence. The emotionally neglected children are prone to feeling guilty, becoming emotionally unavailable themselves, and have a hard time trusting others. Worst case, they may even keep such a parenting style running when it's their turn. Seven, they have it worse than you. Have you heard of the term toxic positivity? Well, let's break it down. If a child indicates that they need their parents to acknowledge the sad and depressed emotions that they're feeling, but all they're offered is a remark which forces them to be grateful for what they have, the child is likely to feel that their emotions are invalidated. This willful suppression of negative emotions, or an unhealthy obsession with positive thinking, is toxic positivity. In a study conducted during the COVID-19 pandemic, it was discovered that toxic positivity had an impact on college students, psychological functioning, their cognition, emotion, and behavior, and particularly their emotional state. Feelings of embarrassment, inability to express their emotions and invalidation of their emotional experiences were common. And number eight, we'll do this the next time we're here. Children can be fuzzy and adamant on things, however, that doesn't mean it's okay for parents to make empty promises about instances that they know very well won't happen, according to research by Ken Geyser, Klyman, and Tomasello in 2017. Young kids honor their own word and anticipate that others will do the same. Getting a promise broken by a parent can be viewed as betrayal by a child, and made a deteriorate through relationship. Whereas, when that word is kept, it can help foster a sense of trust and certainty. Each parent comes with their own flaws. Even when they blurt out these things unintentionally, a child can be easily influenced. Have you heard these phrases before? Let us know which ones and the impact they had on you.