Now we all treasure those special memories with our grandparents, but sometimes the importance of that relationship can be overlooked. Joining me in Anman Pidi Pro III coffee group today to talk about the role of grandparents in the modern family. Welcome back, parenting advisors, joy, slutters and Dorothy. Wake up, morning to you both. Good morning. Good morning. Lovely to have you here. Let's start with you first Dorothy. What role in a family should grandparents play? Grandparents play an important role and what we forget is that they are actually being parents to their parents and also parents to their children and to their grandchildren. So it's important that they pay sort of have a role of being very supportive. It can be quite diverse in today's society because today a lot of the grandparents are actually parenting the children and it also depends whether the grandparents are the parent of the mother or the parent of the father because the grandparents role is normally stronger if they're parent to the mother versus the dad. It's just sort of that's what happens in society. Then the other issue we've got is that a lot of grandparents want to play a role but due to the diverse sort of society now where there's a lot of children's you know organisations being involved with the children they don't actually get to see their grandparents. Well my children got to see their grandparents for two weeks when I fluttered off overseas. For one mother she had the best time and they had the best time and it was a wonderful bonding experience and I appreciated it too. Joy what about grandparenting from afar? How could you remain important and relevant in your grandchild's life? Yeah you need to get a little bit creative here when you're parenting from grandparenting from afar and with the use of technology now of course it's so much easier than back in the day. So we have the Skype we have FaceTime and it's so much easier for children to connect with their grandparents you know they're coming home at the end of the day and saying how about Skype and Grandma and show her the principal's award or how about FaceTime and Granddad because you're having a bit of a problem with that science project. He may have some really good ideas. So you know that's really helpful with the connection and also I heard of something quite recently where you know grandparent sport two books the same and sent one to the grandchildren and they retained one and so they would read a copy of the book while the grandchildren were reading a copy as well. And then of course you could record or have an ebook for example as we have a completely right here. And that's not forgeg writing and sending cards. Yes a little bit of a lost art but everyone loves getting something in the post. Well they're very difficult to read people's handwriting these days. For sure that's for sure I look at my children's handwriting and mine that's pretty appalling. I've gone to the days of just sending a cup with a bit of money over and that being it. Dorothy is it okay for grandparent you think to have different rules in their house for the kids than they do with the parents house? Absolutely but yes and no. What stays at Nana's house or grandparents house you know what happens there stays there. So what I find is interesting is in today's society the big thing about being at a grandparents home is the diet because a lot of parents are a lot better sort of a nutritional wise they're a lot happier they're not filling the kids with junk and of course they go to the grandparents house and all it comes and the other factor is a little is okay so respect what your children respect how they want to parent but of course we all parent differently even in the same house so it's going to be different things in the grandparents house especially with technology where they sit for dinner respecting property because it is the grandparents house and you know sometimes when they have that first leap over or they go away you know you've got away for two weeks it's really important that the kids feel really happy so used to do so okay for the grandparents to lie down with them while they go to sleep make them safe make them feel comfortable because when they go home that you don't have to do it but it's better to have a happy child absolutely absolutely and I must say that two two weeks as along as I've ever left my children but very very happy with my mother's my mother's relationship with them. Joy, how does relationship change from parenting to grandparenting it is quite different it is so much better it's the all care no responsibility of chapter of your life it's a grandparent and it's your opportunity I heard you Dorothy to do the little bit of a treat um in our family with with both families who have children they're the milk and the water diet but at Nano and Albus house they have juice bearing a mind it's one part juice, 2-diparts water but it's still juice and it's something pretty cool so yeah that's the specialness of grandparents. How much advice should you give your kids about parenting because that must be a tricky situation too when you watch your children parenting their children yeah the important thing here I think Mal is to wait until you're asked all that be tough yeah well sometimes with your adult children establishing a warm respectful supportive encouraging relationship respectful as the key word here well your children will actually your adult children who are parenting children will feel comfortable to ask you that question and refrain from leaping in with your advice and especially leave behind the well it was so much harder for me and my day kind of thing and move in with the empathy and notice you know our golly lovers this is a really hard phase in your life right now with your your two preschoolers or I can see and feel that you're from you that you're you're feeling right. What do you need? I don't know also when you're when you're parenting yourself I mean I look at how I parented my first child competitively good one. I'm a different. I was a bit ridiculous with my first one. I'm great advice as always guys thank you so much for joining us today. Coffee group is brought to you by Ann Mumpedia Pro 3 the only toddler milk with no added sugars no if you have any worries that you'd like addressed by our parenting panel. Mr. Just on the cafe Facebook page one contributor will win this cool ebook from Ann Mump that allows you to record your voice. That's me ready to mark it. I'm going to read him in you one I think actually and congratulations to Julia Ryle who is this week's winner and thank you for your great suggestions on our Facebook page as well.