Hey guys, it's me again, the love child of Donkey and Alpharad! According to the comments at least. But anyway, ever since I did a video on the King of Dreamland, I've been getting bombarded with a metric f-fucked ton of requests to do a video on the King of the Coopers, and since I'm a completely unoriginal weak view-horring shill, I thought that it was finally time for me to get around to playing this big boy. I'm gonna be honest, I didn't think that I would ever need to make this video. You know, playing Bowser, playing Bowser is a pretty simple thing to do. If you somehow don't already know how to get free wins as Bowser, allow me to give you the abridged version real quick. All you gotta do is walk right up to your opponent and give him a nice big hug. No tears my child. Only victory. A true king isn't afraid of these top tier waifu fag characters. As soon as they try to go in on you, a search your dominance by dragging them down to the pits of hell with you. You will gain not only their respect, but also their love and fear. Hey bitch, a king orders you to directly jump into this forward smash right this instant! You see, dominance is key. Captain Falcon. More like Crapton Falcon. I mean, seriously, does this filthy meme man think he has a chance in defeating me the king? I mean, how's he gonna try to defeat me if this boy can't even not defeat himself? I mean, just come on now. Check this one out right here. Hey C-Felk, you know what they say. If you can't take the heat, then SD and in the game, you fucking shit lord! Look at this guy. Lading off the battle with a taunt? What the hell do you think this is? Little pp baby hour? What, you really think I would taunt under any circumstance? What's so ever in this game? No, no, no, that just a meme and I'm sorry to say, but taunting is just rude and I would never stoop down to that level of being. Uh oh, sad day for you! So long game, Mario! Hey, but do me a quick favor, just stand completely still and allow this to happen to you. There you go. Thank you. You see, I wasn't too bad, was it? I owe you one friend, I really do. All right, now we got Luigi over here. Now down a little bit unhappy with the fact that we just beat his brother to death. So let's make it up to him and reunite the two of them in hell, shall we? Jesus, you know, saying that out loud, it's straight up makes me sound like an anime villain, I swear. Oh boy, looks like it's gonna be one of those four glory matches. You know the one, a whole lot of moves are coming out from both players, but a whole lot of nothing is happening. Okay, well, I was wrong, a whole lot of things are happening now, mainly me getting my ass beat since this. I don't know what happened, but this man just went like, kayo can or some shit over here, like, I really just, I don't know what I'm gonna... Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, all are gonna hike and go. Sorywa, Anata ga Anata no kyo da, kogarana. Oh, toko to sakai, surutame no jankan desu! A bousa kick, Hoha taibu! Anyway, Speaking of anime, check out this waifu-fag. Now, pop quiz kids, what is the first thing we gotta do against this player? That's right, assert that dominance all over her face. Now then, Lucina, your king commands that you fuck up a downer and kill yourself as a result. Well done, brave hero. Your king is proud. I swear to fucking god, I hate fighting clouds so much. I can already tell this match is going to be a... Oh, okay, I guess he surrenders in, I mean, that's... Hey, that's whole guy, you surrendered! Game over! I have done literally nothing, but down be this entire game, and of course, since it's a shit for brains, Little Mac player, it's actually working. Okay, scratch that shit plan didn't work, fuck this guy. Hey, um, what is this Little Mac having come in with Prince? They're both fucking dead! You know, I give a lot of shit to the people who pick the black variations of characters, like, you know, edgy link, edgy samus, edgy curvy, etc, etc. But edgy Yoshi players, edgy fucking Yoshi players are some of the biggest degenerates. I have ever had the misfortune of coming across in my entire life. Fuck you if you play edgy Yoshi. I actually would say this is a good thing, though, kind of a blessing in disguise. It gives me some extra feel to make sure that it'll fuck up and lose terribly to this 11-year-old emo kid, you know. I'm already depressed as is. I already want to kill myself, but the humiliation of a loss of this caliber would really be the thing to push me over the edge. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, this kid is actually pretty decent, but it's still baby reptile versus big boy king reptile. So the outcome of this should still be pretty clear. Now, if I could just, if I could just manage to grab him real quick, like, one time and just slam him into the ground, this is all be over, come here, you son of a bitch, yes! Oh, good god, yes! Oh my god, oh, I'm just so happy right now. Oh, when are the... Bowser...