So, what's on tap for today? Laurie's question, while seemingly innocuous, represents something of a problem, because my tap for today is not something she is likely to approve of. Well, I'm going to take tariff for a walk. Then I'm going to run over to the market for some beer, be back here by noon for the NFL pre-game shows. I'll call my bookie Jimmy Rollins at 1230 to bet the games, then I'll order a pizza. At one I'll watch the Giant's Redskins games, switching to other games during timeouts. Then at four it'll be mostly San Diego against the Jets, again switching where necessary. That takes me to seven when I'm hoping you'll have dinner ready, from 830 to 1130 tonight as Dallas, Philadelphia, on NBC. Then if I'm lucky, you'll be in the mood for some sexual thrallicking from 1130 until midnight. That is what I would say if I had any semblance of courage or honesty, but since I don't, I opt for—I haven't really done a tap check for today yet, but I'm sure I'll come up with something productive. Every day is a chance for a new adventure. Then let me guess, she says. You're going to take tariff for a walk, get some beer, play some bets, order a pizza, and watch football all day. You make it sound really appealing, I say. How did you come up with all that? It's exactly what you did yesterday. I snapped my fingers. I knew it sounded familiar, but yesterday was college football. Today is pro, apples and oranges. You're incorrigible. Actually unparallially corrigible. I'm not watching football tomorrow at all during the day. What about Monday night football? That's not during the day, it's at night, hence the name. Oh, and I'm making the prison rounds Tuesday and Wednesday. Nobody knows what that means. I visit former clients of mine who were found guilty at trial and are in prison. I don't want them to think they've been forgotten. So what do you have on tap for today, I ask, trying to pull the old switcheroo? I'm going running, then a spinning class, then Pilates, and then this afternoon I'm volunteering at the hospital. You know, I can't decide which of those things sounds the most awful. I've got an idea, Andy. Uh-oh. Laurie's idea is often involved in my expending energy by actually doing things. And today I really just want to plant myself in front of the large screen TV in the den. I'm so looking forward to total relaxation that I bought a bag of already popped popcorn, so I don't have to deal with the microwave.