Hello, welcome to Clear Vision. My name is Simon and I'm a psychotherapist and all the videos here are based on my experience as a therapist. I myself am not under my tree as you can see usually outside I'm recovering post-operation so I'm sitting at home and chilling. Today it's just a short video on removing yourself away from a narcissist and this isn't always an easy task but there are some kind of guidelines to follow. If you completely remove yourself really quickly from a narcissist they probably won't have had a chance to replace you. You are narcissistic fuels supply for them so they will come running full on using everything they can to get you back into their clutches to bring the fly back into the spiders web. They will come for you. So the quicker you move away the harder and faster you move away the harder and faster and quicker they will come forward. From this what do we know is in that case you have to slowly remove yourself. There are some things you can do which make this process easier but you do have to swallow a bit of your own ego and pride and I am of course talking about this before things have gotten into like really really abusive and you are you need some external help. This is recognising red flags warning signs you've been in it for a while you're noticing that you're deteriorating away and you need to leave and you still have an upstreet to leave by of your own volition. So the first thing is to pull away slowly the first and then you also and to do that you need to make yourself boring and kind of neutral and kind of indifferent so there's acting with some indifference even if you don't mean it even if it's really turning you up inside act with an indifference be indifferent to them. Become boring and gradually uninterested in them and uninteresting to them as well. This will aid your moving away from them and I am talking in terms of romantic relationships but this can be in the workplace as well or in the social sphere to become uninteresting to them. Become uninterested in them a bit very neutral. If you come at a narcissist head on and you go you know what I'm going to leave you because you're a blah blah blah blah and you blah blah blah blah blah blah but they're going to enjoy that. There's an energy in that they have you in their clutches they're feeding off of that energy they're vampiristic. If you are down on your knees and crying and sad they're still going to feed off that but it's going to last less time they're going to become disinterested in that sooner because they're actually breaking you down especially if you don't get back up and worship them so these things to bear in mind. So to leave a narcissist do it slowly play you have to play a game with them. You have to use their own power against them you have to flip the tables so you you leave slowly you become uninteresting you become uninterested you give them nothing therefore you're cutting off their narcissistic supply their energetic supply that's coming from you you were fueling them and now you are not fueling them you're depriving them of oxygen or fuel whatever however you want to put it you're no longer interesting you've no longer got any fight in you you've no longer get any energy you don't praise them put them up on a pedestal you stop all of that when they can't and they will contact you probably with I don't know try and make you feel sorry for them they will try and make you feel excited by them they will try all sorts of tactics and all sorts to trigger you and the thing is to not get triggered by it or to at least not show it so you need a safe person a therapist a really really trusted friend or family member where you can venture and go oh my god do you know that they're doing oh everything that they asked them to do they're now doing with someone else or doing with friends or whatever it is they're doing or they keep calling me and telling me this and yeah they're trying to entice you back and don't show them that energy don't show them new that reaction you have to become completely bland and boring to them in order to leave don't argue with them a narcissist loves an argument and because they're pulling with you they're playing with you like a cat with a mouse they are playing with you all the time the best way to deal with a narcissist yes you're right yes you're right yes you're right I'm sorry I won't do it again and then leave you know just leave just get out as quick as you can so that's this is how I would say this is the best technique in order to move yourself away from a narcissist moving yourself away from a violent narcissist is also something else different you may need some help with that this is I'll do this on another video this is more you've got yourself a few months into a relationship maybe a year maybe a couple of years into a relationship and you are noticing this is where it's out this is where it's going I need to get out now and trust me when I say this if trust your instincts if your instincts are telling you this is seriously there is something very very wrong very misaligned here very misplaced here trust that check it out first is this my paranoia have I been here before am I just repeating really am I afraid of love am I repeating my old stuff is this an old pattern of mine and I'm seeing the negative where there isn't any any if the arts is keep coming back as no no no no there was something wrong here there's there's you're getting word salad you're getting gaslit you're someone is playing games with you making you feel crazy with the words they say they're confusing you then you need to get out and the quickest way to get out is the slowest way to get out of that relationship I hope that helps and I will see you next time in the meantime please take care of yourselves