At last I shall exact my vengeance and snuff out the miserable flame that has been your life, vile woman. Feeling up the day with nonsense, vodka in the bushes. Time to put you out of your misery. Here, want to play with my toy? What the hell is this? It's a magic wand. Watch. I'll a kazam. I cast the tickle spell. Okay, okay, you got me. Yeah, I don't think I... What the... Stop it! I'm losing track of my surroundings. Hey, this is kind of fun. Wee! Yes, wee! Stewie, you're like a hundred times more advanced than that kid. Why do you want to hang out with him so badly? He's just like a cool guy. Hi Stewie. I'm putting sand on a cat poo. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, yes, yes, yes, yes! Brian, can Hudson come over for a play date? Sure, I guess so. Never heard you ask for a play date before. I know. Get it! Mom! Come look! Mom! Can I be right there, Stewie? Where's the bush vodka? Where is it? Where is it? Oh, there it is. Bang, bang, bang, got you. Oh, gun? That's not a gun. Paul Hogan gets a royalty. Royalty check, Mr. Hogan. Thanks, jumpy. Whoa! What are all these four? Here she comes. Well, look at these hands on little boys. Come downstairs, I made your favorites. Grilled cheese cut to look like a dinosaur. Because if you do, I won't be able to play with you. And that's my favorite thing now. It is? Uh-huh. Mine too. You know what? I'm going to let her live. You really mean that? You bet I do. And I always tell it like it is. Like when I used to write tombstones. Stewie, what are you doing? Having a funeral, Brian? Say goodbye to evil Stewie. Oh my God, oh my God! Stewie, slow down, slow down. What happened? We went to the zoo, we saw an ape. At first we didn't think we'd see him, because he was hiding back in his house. But then he came out, we saw him. We saw the ape. No, no, I was only going for you. And maybe to taunt the animals that aren't able to leave. Which is all of them. Losers. Here's your star wars kids, Neil. Which action figures did we get? I got Kyle Ren. I got the role during the two months I was a hot actor, and now they're stuck with me. Stewie, you can have mine. You're giving me the better one? Why would you do that? Because you're my friend. Yes. You're my friend. That was fun. Let's switch Earth Day party. Yeah, it's at the Family Fun Zone. Everyone was invited. I take up a great deal of the teacher's time. What's going on? You seem upset. You're a real student of the human condition aren't you? Yet somehow it escapes your writing. Whoa, why are you attacking me? Maybe it wasn't meant to be. But hey, I'm still your friend. Yeah, but Hudson isn't. Stewie, it's 2 a.m. Revenge doesn't sleep. Come on. Shut your f*** mouth. Victory shall be mine. Shut up, Dad. I'm watching Rick and Morty. So, does mommy have friends over? Sometimes at night? Cohog Family Fun Zone. Uh-oh. Hey, everybody. We want to give a special shout out to little Hudson on his birthday. Yeah! Yeah! Huh? Damn you all! That's my name. Don't wear it out. Yeah, let that wash over you. Learn that from a third grader. Any last words? Yeah. I'm glad to see you. What are you doing here? And how do you know I was invited? Because I threw your invitation away. You what? I know. I'm sorry. I just... We haven't? No. Friends are people who come in and out of our lives. But you and I are family. That's forever. Come between us. I'm even going to make a speech at your wedding. So Brian and I are down to the top. I'm going to make a speech at your wedding. I'm going to make a speech at your wedding. So Brian and I are down in Mexico and as usual he doesn't have any cash on him. That's probably why your parents are paying for all this, right? Ever. That's the end of the show we sometimes do something silly here. You know what'll get me out of this funk? The equalizer too. Okay. Alright fine. I got nothing. Exactly. You're just a big jerk and I hate you. And there's nothing you can do to make up for it. Fine. Maybe I'll just go out and get some ice cream. I'm starting to think we're going to get through our... Rocky Road. Peter, Peter I need you to hold my ear. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! See? I've been training since I was Lacey Shabair. So are you guys going to come? I don't know. The U-Log channel just put on another log and I really like it when the wood goes crack, crack, pop, crack, pop. Oh. Come on family, let's go do TV commercial driving meant for a professional driver on a closed course. Or who doesn't like to stop going just because they've run out of road. Ow! My ball! Pen out where the real fun begins. Where the pain on the road takes punishment in large doses and comes back for more. My balls! Less it's a good excuse to put on my winter coat and find items from last year still in the pocket. Oh, sticky pennies. A rock hard starburst. A Yamaka from when that Jewish guy died. A breath mint from the now defunct Clorex Corporation. Printed out map quest directions to Dave and Buster's. Iron man band-aid. For the Biathlon combines cross country skiing and rifle shooting. Yeah. Well that doesn't sound so hard can I try? I don't know if that's a good idea. My event starts soon. Here we go. Oh! I think I'm getting a hang of it. I'm the co-hog edging champion. Well that's great Chris. Now what's that? Get it's the practice of erotic sexual denial. Go wait in the car. And I do voiceovers for this show now too. But that was the only voiceover Ron Howard did for the show. He asked for too much money. The guy who sounds like Morgan Freeman but is not in fact Morgan Freeman. My name is Josh Robert Thompson and I perform for scale. You're going down Meg. Lacey Shabair? That's right. This should be my Olympics. Shut up Meg. No you shut up Meg. Wow Meg is gold of the Olympics. Let's celebrate by burning our lips on Vending Machine Hot Chocolate. Thank you. I'm not really good at public speaking so I'll just say. Farple. Shlup. Muckle block. We got the straights plow though right? Did she just work? Yeah. I just wanted to say how proud we are of Meg's accomplishment. Do you think there'll be a gag about the Jamaican Bob sled team? No probably not. Now because I was working on my exaggerated shiver. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. There might be. Don't go. Don't go. I'm going to say. I'm going to say. I'm going to say. It might be. Don't go far. Don't go far. My race isn't for a few days so we should have plenty of time to hang out. Anyone want to grab some food? Sorry Meg. I'd never let travelers die every I keep me grounded. No. Well then you just hand in this thing right to John Croc. Oh my god Brian. Look. Who is that? Oh that's figure skater turned flamboyant commentator Johnny Weir. I just had to come over and introduce myself. My name is Stewie and I'm a huge fan of you guys. Oh it's nice to meet you Stewie. Yeah. It's always so nice to meet our fans. Okay. I don't know what that is but they're just jealous. Every one of them. The best thing to happen to sport since the New York Knicks finally changed their name. Bitty bitty Bob. Funky funky. Wow I can't believe I'm on a first name basis with Tara Lapinski. Now refresh my memory is Tara the one who had the DUI. But that's Oxana Bayou. Oh god. Here she comes. Act like I said something funny. I don't know Stewie. So do I. Who thinks they don't? I don't know. Ask this guy. So. Hey Tara. Are you doing anything later? I was thinking maybe we could grab dinner or something. Oh I just need to make a call. I was supposed to help the speed skaters get their tights over their thighs. We can do this. I worked with Garth Brooks, shirt and pants. The denim pattern is projected on. Stick to the agreed upon choreography please. Ask who else has friends in low places. Alright we got him that baby. Vaping is for douchebags. Oh I want to be a douchebag.