The current depressed air of my life. I do not know what is happening with me nowadays. It seems I have lost hope. Nothing seems enjoyable to me. Now, nothing excites me. There was a point in my life when I used to become happy about certain things. There existed some things when I was feel pleasure by doing them. Now, there is nothing. The day starts and it ends. I don't know what to do. And how to spend time. It must be great to know what you want to do. I have got no idea at all. I just go from one day to the next. There is a fantasy in my mind. I always make my imagination which is perfect for me. I can do anything in my imagination. I am alone there. There are no people. There's no toxic words. I have built my own wall of imagination. I will be alone there, but safe. There will be no swords of words being thrown at me. There will be no heart breaks. Whenever I would feel like I am losing my mind off to overthinking, I would enter the imagination. It helps. It is the only thing that helps. Because the greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. So, I found solace in the dark corners of my room. In the silence of shadows, I led my imagination blue. Because behind those dark walls of my room, there lies reality, which is nothing but a disappointment. I cannot face reality. Because in reality, there are always things at every corner which remind me of my trauma. Reality wouldn't let me forgive my past. Reality contains stimuli at every other point which will send me to same past situation. That's why I find imagination in the only place where I can be safe. But for how long a man can remain in imagination, ultimately, I have to re-side back in reality. And if I don't, the reality itself will push me down to itself. And because my imagination is so strong and vivid, I often find reality white disappointing, blurred by the never-ending trauma and to keep myself safe from reality. I often make fake scenarios in my mind. Every night, I see myself doing the things I want to do, or which I cannot do due to my insecurities. These fake scenarios give me power. Those scenarios are my perfect world. I know they cannot be real, but it seems fascinating. I have lost my decision making a billion. My every decision, my every work is being judged by my unconscious, which is nothing but my past experiences. I cannot go outside. I cannot socialize. I am starting to hate people. My insecurities are stopping me to live a normal life. I feel like I have spent all my life in my room. I hope someday I will be able to do something better. I hope there will come a day when I would find eternal happiness. Thanks for watching.