Amber, Astana, why does my ex-narsist want to keep kicking me while I'm down when he claims he is happy and moved on? It's what they do. You know, abusive people. They... It's kind of this weird dynamic and I'm just guessing what's going on in their mind. Okay, and I don't even think this is a conscious thing for them. But, you know, they don't... It starts off with them idealizing their target. This is a normal thing for most relationships. There's this idealized phase. This other person is so fantastic. They're so perfect for me. I wouldn't change anything about them. Nobody is seeing things clearly for at least like the first 90 days in a relationship. Okay, it's your meeting that person's highest and best self. And that's what a person tends to put in the most amount of effort is right in the beginning. And then over time, they get comfortable and then they start being more themselves. So when things start settling in in the relationship and then you start realizing, oh, wait a minute, this for them, it's like, okay, this person isn't so perfect. In fact, they have different political views for me. They have different... Oh, they don't agree with how to raise kids in this. And so these differences start to surface. And so for the abusive person, it's almost like... Okay, I need you to be a certain way. And then if you're not that way, I need you to start changing. And so then they start kind of grinding down the edges of that. And oftentimes what they don't like is... So they might not like things about us that we disagree with them about. But they also might be over-identifying things that they don't like about themselves and us. So for school bullies, this is a good example of this, right? So like a school bully might pick on a kid that they view as weaker than them in some way. But the reality is odds are like that kid... That bully kid is probably being bullied at home. And so that stuff is... Because he can't take it out on his dad at home, right? Or his mom or whoever, he's got to take it out on his other kid in school. And so that's what's happening. And so with it's this... It's like that little bully kid grew up. And then it's the same kind of personality, whether they have their targets. And so a lot of things about us, like a lot of... Oftentimes our good character traits, because they... Narcissists have issues of being vulnerable. Like vulnerability, emotional connection is dangerous for them for whatever reason. And so if we start trying to form a deeper connection, if we're trying to... Whatever, then instead of that emotional connection getting deeper, it's not. It pushes them even further away. And so... And it's like they kind of get on the attack, where it's like they have to just completely... So basically what they're doing is they're putting everything that they don't like about themselves or their life and they're putting it, they're smearing it onto their target. And then because of that, it's like then they have to destroy the target because they don't like that stuff within themselves. So it's just very... Pathological, deeply twisted, crazy behavior. And I think that's part of that sadistic nature of them. Like they enjoy breaking their target. But I don't think it's because they enjoy necessarily even breaking us. It's more of like what we represent. Because I think in a twisted way, it's them breaking that stuff within themselves that they don't like. If that even makes sense. But that's very common. It's very common. Narcissists, I'm just talking about this in the group the other day. They will come out of the blue and just say like text or call their old target and be like, I'm so happy now. I just want you to know I'm so in love and I'm so happy and I've moved on. And it's just continually trying to grind down their old target. But again, if you think about it, normal people that are truly happy don't feel the need to go let their ex know how happy they are. Like they just go and be happy, right? So and just who they are. And that's why too they call us the, there's targets of narcissists. And that's the thing. Like narcissists aren't like this. Just like school bullies aren't like this to everybody. But they have their targets. It's very isolated stuff. But it speaks to the pathology of their behavior. And normally the people that, you know, narcissists that they do target are those that are closest to them. Those are the people that they're more the most relaxed around. And also ironically, the ones that represent the biggest vulnerability and the biggest problem. So if a person, if they can't be vulnerable, vulnerability equals danger or, you know, yeah, I guess the vulnerability equals danger. But then there. These people are closest to them. It's one of the reason that if they just don't have close relationships to anybody, they don't get close to people. Yeah, true. That's a good point to you. Truthsicker says they lost their innocence a long time ago and they envy it. I think they envy it. And I think there's almost a weird fascination with it. And I think at the same time they are, they tended to be threatened by it. You know, like if they were abused, I think if they were abused and their innocence, if they'd linked up that their innocence or like their naivete caused them pain, then they might seek out other people that are naive or innocent and seek to hurt that in them. Because that was hurt within them. It's just a very interesting, strange, awful, awful dynamic. Yeah, Bonnie says they burn bridges and scorch the earth around them. Yes.