Hello everyone, welcome to our video on how to use turn it in to improve your writing. In this video we'll show you where your text matters should and should not occur in your work and how to develop a stronger argument particularly within your paragraphs. When writing an assignment it is important that your own answer to the question is very clear. To make your answer clear it is vital that you show your readers which ideas belong to other people and which belong to you. This is called using your authorial voice. Ideally it should be easy for your readers to see when the ideas are your own critical views and evaluation of the material. The places where your authorial voice or argument should be the clearest are the introduction, the first sentence of every paragraph and the conclusion. For instance in this example you can see that the introduction and conclusion contain no text matches. Usually introductions and conclusions mostly contain your own words. When it comes to writing paragraphs because you're writing about evidence and other people's ideas it is easy for your own voice to get lost. Turn it in maybe able to help you identify where your voice needs to be stronger. For example let's take an example where the essay question asks students is agriculture to blame for the increase in salinity in Australia's soils. If we take a look at this paragraph we can see that the paragraph is full of text matches. Although it is worth noting that the quotes and paraphrases are all referenced. It is quite unclear whether the student has analysed any of the information. Since the matches are all quotations it is unclear how the author wants us to interpret the information and the author has not told us how this information answers the essay question. Instead this is more like a series of notes that the student has put together. If you have a paragraph like this one then you'll need to spend time working out what your key point is and interweaving that throughout the paragraph. Now let's say for instance that you've reworked the paragraph and put your own critical analysis in a few more sentences. It might show up something like this in turn it in. One of the biggest problems with this example is that the topic sentence is still an idea from another source and it gives a quote. The problem with this is that topic sentences should emphasize your own voice not someone else's. This is because at the start of each paragraph your reader needs to be prepared for the material that is coming next and they need to be able to recognise how this material fits into your overall argument. Starting off with someone else's words, what is the reader to work hard to find out what your argument is and this can be confusing work. So if you have a topic sentence that is either a quote or a paraphrase you should rewrite or add another topic sentence that clearly shows the reader how the paragraph helps you to answer the question. There are two parts to topic sentences. One part is that the sentence has to indicate what the main idea of the paragraph is. This is more about what type of evidence you use in the sentence. The other part is that you have to tell your reader how that evidence supports or fits into your argument. In other words it explains how the paragraph fits into the overall answer to the question. If you look around the middle or end of your paragraph you might find a sentence there that explains your argument more clearly and you could possibly rewrite it to use it as your topic sentence. For instance you'll notice in this example that in the middle of the paragraph the student has made their own voice a bit clearer when they say this academic literature on salinity frequently focuses on the impact of salinity produced by agricultural intensification but does not give very detailed examination of the other factors that impact salinization. This idea is starting to answer the question since the student is implying that agriculture is not the only reason for the increase in salinity in Australia soil. If the student adapted this sentence as their topic sentence this would make the purpose of the paragraph much clearer. To help write a good topic sentence you could ask yourself what part of the question does this paragraph answer? What is my view on the material in this paragraph? How does this paragraph add to my answer? Why is this paragraph necessary for my argument? Once you've written your topic sentence and placed it at the start of your paragraph it may be useful to check over the rest of your paragraph. How clear is it? Are there many quotes that could instead be paraphrased to help you show your own analysis and argument? When you're talking about other people's ideas is the difference between their ideas and yours. Clear. For instance here the student uses phrases such as another study for example examines how and what studies exist that show. These phrases start to show how the ideas connect. However it is still unclear how these quotes and examples support the student's argument. It is not clear yet whether student agrees or disagrees with the sources and it is not very clear how these sources help to answer the assignment question. Finally check the last sentence of your paragraph. In this example the student has finished the paragraph with a quote. See level fluctuations play an influential role in coastal groundwater flow and discharge. Ending a paragraph with a quote might be confusing to the reader. They might think how does that answer the question? Instead of ending with someone else's words end your paragraphs with your own words to help summarize your main point and remind the reader of your argument. To write a good summary and linking sentence ask yourself. Does the sentence make it clear how all the evidence discussed in the paragraph has added to your argument? Does it use your own words and doesn't indicate to the reader how this paragraph connects to the next one? If not consider rewriting the final sentence to summarize the paragraph. Remind the reader how the paragraph connects to your overall answer to the question and indicate whether the link is to the idea in the next paragraph. When you revise your paragraph to include a stronger topic sentence to show your critical analysis in the body of your paragraph and to write an effective summary and or linking sentence you can test it out and turn it in again to see the difference. Here is an improved paragraph. You can see that the student has paraphrased much more which has reduced the amount of text matches. In fact the only text match here is to some miscellaneous term. The reason there are so few matches is because this is an assignment in the sciences and often in the sciences the convention is to paraphrase more than to quote. However if we are using an example for arts, law and social science subjects you would often expect to see more quotes and text matches because in those subjects it is common to analyze the ways in which texts are written. In this example you can see how the topic sentence is now the student's own words as it states while the academic literature focuses heavily on the impact that agricultural intensification has on salinity. I argue that agriculture is not entirely to blame since climate change effects can also account for the increase in salinity Australian soil profiles. This sentence answers the question very clearly. It tells us about the student's argument that agriculture is not the only factor to blame for salinity and the paragraphs main topic. The effects climate change has on salinity. Also the student has used more paraphrasing and phrases to show their critical analysis. This makes their writing clearer and more persuasive. For example when they make the point that typically academic literature focuses on the impact that agricultural intensification has on salinity levels they use the word typically to show that this is their observation of a general trend in a literature. Word typically signals that the student is critical of this trend because it indicates that there are other studies, right, ideas that are different to this trend. The beginning of the next sentence the word however shows that in contrast to what is typically accepted the student is critical of the trend when the student writes however it is also important to examine the effects. A climate change has on soil salinity it shows the student's own argument. Then in the next sentence they give an example from the literature that they agree with by using these linking phrases and language which shows critical evaluation. The student makes their own argument clearer in the body of the paragraph. Finally the last sentence of the paragraph sums up the student's main idea that climate change is another factor that influences salinity by using the phrase although these are not the only climate change factors that affect salinity. It also indicates that the next paragraph will address some other factors of climate change that affect salinity. You can see that this idea is presented in the following paragraphs topic sentence. So using these techniques turn it in maybe able to help you identify where you can improve your writing. The introductions and conclusions to your assignment should usually contain mostly your own words. Topic sentences and the final sentences of paragraphs should also use your own words not someone else's. And in the body of your paragraphs you can use paraphrasing and phrases that emphasize your own evaluation of the sources to show your critical engagement with the evidence. Remember the key aim is to show the reader what you think about other people's ideas. Thanks for watching our video. The more information on how to write with authorial voice take a look at the resources available on the rest of the ASLC turn it in practice what all site as well as the ASLC website.