Hey, what's up? I'm Rachel Starn, a question I've been asked a lot recently. Is Rachel, when should I get ECT? ECT is an electric convulsive therapy or an electric shock therapy? Yes, I had ECT a while, a while, many years ago. I actually need to figure that out. And I've talked about the upsides, downsides to ECT. Understand, I have brain damage from it. From what I've been told, I had unilateral. That's where they shoot and the electrical bolt goes around and comes back out. Then there's bilateral, where it goes back and forth, the electrical current. So I had unilateral. I did give brain damage from it. I had to relearn how to read and write. Yeah, I have entire segments gone of my life. It was really funny. My brother sent me this picture of me from his high school graduation. First off, I had no idea I was at his high school graduation. Like, I don't know, I don't know where I thought I was. I traveled a lot, so I thought maybe I was on the country at the time. But Jan, he sent me this picture of me and I did not recognize myself at all. The dress I'm wearing in it, I don't recognize. At all. The whole picture was very bizarre. It was like, this is a picture of me. My mom was telling me a story the other day about me being in a Taekwondo class. And when I quit, well, they actually, my mom deported me out of it. I didn't know this. But apparently I was attacked by this man who joined the class who hit on me at the 16-year-old or whatever. And yeah, actually, when I turned him down, got aggressive and kind of what crazy on me in the sparring match. I have no recollection of that. At all. You know what I'm thinking? What? You pulled me out of Taekwondo? They're like, yeah, I was like, oh, I thought I just saw a stintress. Why did you quit? I don't know. I don't, I had no clue. That's just a blank area in my head. Apparently that's my mom that I was like, yeah, you're not allowed to be in this anymore because of that case over here. So, yeah, there are some, when you get ECT, you're understanding that there are some serious risks that come along with it. And you really got away the good and the bad if it's worth it. If you're struggling with suicide, deep depression, and you have suicide attempts, you know, and things like that, then obviously you need to look into ECT if your depression is that wrong. I was thinking, it's funny people will be like, oh, you know, I have all these suicide attempts without it going to lose my memory. And I'm like, well, if you kill yourself, memory is going to be, I mean, it's gone. But everything's gone. You are awesome, okay? And wonderfully made and user to have a kickass awesome life. For some people, who medication doesn't work for ECT could be a very good option. So, that's something you need to explore with your doctor. As far as when to get it, for me, I became very desperate for it because nothing was working and I was getting more and more just kind of out of it. I don't, there's a whole year of college that I was like a zombie through. How I made all these, I don't know. I don't even know how I got to class. But I just started kind of between the skitzo and the depression just really going inside myself and kind of getting locked away. And ECT, you know, luckily brought me out of that. And I don't think I would be alive if I hadn't gotten ECT or really if I was, I'm not sure the condition that I would be in had I continued on that path. I would hope that it would go one day, you know, and snap out of it. But I don't know. ECT was what snapped me out of it over the course of a few weeks after having them. So understand it's a very big choice to make. And there are ups and downs to it. And yeah, explore it, try other methods. I always say try medication first and there's a lot of different medications, a lot of different cocktails. See how that affects you. And some of my help and medications help a lot of people. Unfortunately, I'm one of the ones that I become very resistant to medications quickly. So none of the anti-psychotics and stuff really worked on me. I would work for like a month and then my body just kind of would adapt and then they would just keep you even more more. Until basically I could have had any more. There's a lot, there's also counseling, a lot of different options. So understand that there's ways to deal with mental disorders and depression. ECT, you know, is one of those ways of that house. All right, I am Rachel Star and you guys feel like a freaking awesome day.