You know, a lot of people took one look at K-Rule and were immediately like, ugh, another botan tier heavy, thanks a lot Hackerai! But I didn't buy into any of that for a second. I looked past his thick, glorious bot and saw something truly special. So as the definitive best K-Rule player to ever exist in this universe and all others, how is he? Well, I've got some great news. He sucks. King K-Rule is the big cock-crock who rocks your stocks by shooting shots, leaving you a shocking got. Also his back air spikes, which automatically makes him the most badass motherfucker ever. I mean seriously, take a look at this stupid P-covered gamer girl over here. First, ya yeet the lolly, then ya BEAT THE LOLLY! As the king of all kings, you must realize that you are not only an unstoppable force, but also an immovable object. Free to throw out your incredibly fast and devastating moves while your shiny golden tum tum keeps ya nice and safe. Remember kids, it pays to be thicker than a bowl of oatmeal and there it is. Sick boys Riiiies! Oh! And don't you worry, my patented suckin' cuck works better than ever. Best character confirmed. Now, let me tell you a little about the art of the suck. Kirby, DDD, your mother, bush league amateur hour. None of them got anything on K-Rules cutting edge top of the line, super suck cannon! It's huge, it's amazingly powerful, it's super BM, oftentimes positioning it correctly just once results in a stock, and best of all, it's really good at killing Alph, which is great because nobody loves Alph. You're not even good enough to be an echo fighter dummy. What makes you think you're good enough to stand before the king of sucking? The Suck King even! Time to go back to your own planet! Bitch! Oh yeah, and did I mention that this thing is also a super good and stylish and impressive as all hell projectile in the first place? Because... it is, and as if one incredible projectile isn't enough, he's also got his side-be, the malady, where he tosses his crown like a boomerang, often to devastating effect. It's a very strong tool in its own right, but like a fine wine, it pairs ever so nicely with his cannon, resulting in some real cool shit. Oh, Charizard, I'm sorry buddy, old pal, but this game just ain't big enough for two reptiles. I hate to do it, but I'm afraid there can be only one! And unsurprisingly, it's the one with the gun. What the... Snake, what did I just say? One reptile only! What do you got stupidity stuck in your ears or something? Get out and stay out! Okay, now this is just getting a bit ridiculous. Squirtle, you dumbass! Why are you doing this? You know I keep that motherfucking fang on me! Everything about the Canon and Crown combo is so deliciously evil and oppressive from setting up big kills to perfectly frame-trapping sad little orphan boys. And of course, forgiving people, the old suckin' cock. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you, Sakurai. But the evilness does not stop at those moves. Oh no! Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to tell you about this little thing called... The Down Smash. Long story short, it's not just huge, fast, and deadly, it's also invincible. Allow me to give you some examples. Dash attacks don't work. Jams don't work. Grabs don't work. Dodges don't work. Shields don't work. Are you picking up what I'm putting down, viewer? This showstop belly flop will put you on top and never stop! It is yucky good! If at any time you feel even a little bit unsafe or worried about your immediate surroundings, simply flick that little yellow stick and down smash all of those problems away. Of course, if you don't feel like utterly annihilating people with your tum tum, you've got plenty of other options. For example, take them to Clevverstand. It's a great little place where you'll armor through all of your opponent's attacks and use your long-scale arms of justice to clap them cheeks into next week. Or, if you're up for it, take them on a nice trip to Ground Town, where all of their hopes and dreams will be buried so far, they have a 0% chance of ever recovering them. Personally, it's a place I've been for over 20 years now. Down throwing is an extremely lethal move and sets up for two options. A super strong up-recut, which is a true combo, or if your opponent doesn't have the reaction to mashing speeds of a god, a big meaty fist right to the face. Oh, and if you ever get grounded via down tilt, just say your prayers, your fault. You know, I really hate to do it to my boy DDD. He'll always have a special place in my heart, but in ultimate, I've got a new main. Or at least until Joker comes out because holy shit, I cannot wait for him to get in here. At the point being, I'm no longer meaning a king. I'm meaning the king.