So today is Halloween because I like multiple choice choose your own adventure you guys at home get to you know Let me know what you think I'm gonna let you guess what I am today Am I a Japanese person be a Moroccan princess? Am I see from the Brady bunch or D? Did I not have a costume at all went to my mom's house and begged for something random? I could put on the kind of look like a costume and ended up with this Well hey there you beautiful young people this is magic versus logic sex love and relationship advice for generation Why with a little bit of a twist how it works is I read out a question and then I answer it from two perspectives One from the head and one from the heart and then in the comments section below you guys are gonna thumbs up magic or logic Depending on which advice you think the questioner should follow this week's question comes from Kathy and she writes I am finished college and still a virgin the older I get the harder it gets to tell people I've never had sex and now with Snapchat Tinder and other social media sites that all my friends are on that seem to revolve around sex I'm feeling like more of an outsider than ever. How do I tell people about my decision to wait without being judged or excluded? One of the things I noticed right off the bat in celibacy is I had more clarity I had more self-worth and more peace of mind and it was just a lot more relaxed and sure of myself The average North American will lose their virginity around 16 or 17 years old so if you are in 20 or something mid 20s or so It's understandable that you might be feeling left out or left behind in some cases I can relate to this no I'm not a virgin I wrote a book on sex But what I am is I don't drink and when I first started going out with my friends the clubs and they were like hammering them back I kind of had to nurse this water and just hope people thought it was like vodka all night long And so I really just came into my own Decide that this decision was for me and became very confident in how I said that because if you're saying it all like And the really is nothing to be ashamed of the stats are truly on your side There's a really great study done in the family journal of psychology that found that couples that waited to go down the aisle before they got into the bedroom Ended up having a 15% higher overall satisfaction with their sex life and we're 20% more likely to be happy with their relationship in general Like that relationship so as you can see not having sex longer actually equates to better sex down the line Kind of like short term pain for long term gain or one of those other Can't have your cake and eat it too Wine gets better with age. There's actually a trend happening in Hollywood right now called retro Celebacy in which a lot of your fave celebs have been or are currently still celibate because they found it gave the more clarity More peace of mind and more focus on their craft Celebrities like Nicki Minaj lady Gaga Lenny Kravitz prince Jessica white making good of course have all gone through this process So there's a plethora of different reasons why people choose not to have sex But what's most important is why you choose so here is the logic if you want other people to understand and respect your choice You have to truly understand why you're doing it yourself and feel very confident in telling that to other people There's a really great article in the Atlantic. It's an editorial about abstinence only education and how would help to shape this one Rider's life so read it and find some encouragement in her confidence A library is a place where you can lose your innocence without losing your virginity If you go into Google right now and type in Celebacy and then put a space in front the first suggestion that comes up is Involuntary like it or not if you are an older virgin There are a lot of negative stigma's and stereotypes Hashtag 40 year old virgin that come along with that but you can really debunk these myths or is it defunct either one? You can get rid of these myths by not being that stereotypical awkward and comfortable virgin Just because you're not having sex doesn't mean you should opt out of being a sexual being all together But at a time we're about 12 years old for some people younger our bodies our hormones our mentality begins to switch where sex becomes very intriguing to us Now you should follow that intrigue in a way that's safe and respectful to your morals This doesn't mean you have to ignore the fact that you are sexual being all together There are a lot of great ways to be sexual without having sex any expert will tell you the safest best and for some people Most sure fire away of exploring your sexuality is with yourself Not only will you get you know all hands on deck and a great learning experience It's also a great experience in terms of how to be good in bed for whatever you do decide to be with somebody down the line It's the best teacher and I have to assume that if you're waiting to have sex It's because it's actually important to you that it means something that when it does happen You want to be prepared and you want it to be special So with that being said you should have no problem on reading about it researching it Emersing yourself in it you need to be freaky or then the freaks you have to know how many nerve endings a clitoris has What's more sensitive the base or the top of the penis? What's the female prostate where is it? What does it do does it really even exist? familiarize yourself on all the topics anatomy, mental, emotional, social aspects of sexuality That way not only one will you not feel uncomfortable the topic comes up because you can chime in But to you and yourself will feel a lot more sexually fulfilled for further reading I found the perfect book. It is so on point with great reviews the title super long So I'm gonna read it. It is called sensual Celebacy the sexy guy to using abstinence for recharging your spirit discovering your passions Achieving greater intimacy in your next relationship by Donna Marie Williams So now it's up to you guys to decide how do you honor your decision to be a virgin in a hypersexual world without being judged Logic you stand firm and confidently on your decision No excuses no explanations necessary except for one. It is my damn decision and I'm proud of it magic If you don't want to be pegged as an awkward virgin then don't be awkward Don't let your virginity be the defining factor of your sexuality Make the two very separate in terms of what you do and what you know on last week's episode We asked at what point does online admiration of somebody who you're not in a relationship with become detrimental to your real life Relationship now magic went out last week and there was a lot of great comments and here are some of my favorites You This week's email comes from a dude I know I shouldn't be dancing because that's kind of sexist but women just love giving relationship advice to guys I'm gonna take your entire left-wrestled shove it in my mouth that deep throat your nipple