There's a dark club full of hyenas barking at an empty stage. John Loveitz replaced Phil Hartman on news radio after one night when Andy Dick fed cocaine to Phil Hartman's recently clean wife Bryn Hartman. Phil Hartman had told Bryn Hartman that if she started using it again he would leave her soul. Bryn Hartman shot Phil Hartman in herself in the head years later. Andy Dick taunted John Loveitz about how Andy Dick caused the untimely death of Phil Hartman so John Loveitz grabbed Andy, Dick, by the head and bounced his face off a comedy club bar. David Foster Wallace wrote a very simple and easy to understand book called Fine Night Just, Richard Dwyer Burns, Gilder Rather Smolders, Andy Kaufman Rides on the ground with women Bill Hicks never gained mainstream popularity because he couldn't tell more Dick jokes than jokes about the first Iraq War. For potentially censored he was diagnosed with cancer taped to set on David Letterman and told more jokes about abortion than the Battle of the Sexes. David Letterman pulled the segment from his show and his friend Bill Hicks died a few months later. Bill Cosby shoots his shotgun mouth with a sleepy rage. Michael Richards did the same but his pellets are flaccid. Dave Chappelle walked away from millions of dollars because he couldn't control why the hyenas were barking in February 2009. David Letterman aired the censored Bill Hicks segment and publicly apologized to Bill Hicks mother Mary Hicks. She only half accepted the apology. At Kermit the Frog Memorial Service, Miss Piggy had to run away from the podium at the end of his eulogy. Scooter reminded the congregation how she all lived in the moment like Kermit did and then Scooter died of AIDS just two years later. Big Bird came out to sing, it's not easy being green in from moment. It sounded like there was a real human being inside this giant yellow body for a moment. It sounded like this impossible real person was beginning to crack and cry inside this now trembling feathered body all because of Frog. Didn't want to bother people by going to the hospital in time. Later the ashes of someone named Jim Henson were scattered on a ranch and sent a fake from the stage. You can't see the hyenas but you can hear them barking. Your job is to meet dangling to tease out the bark of your job clown is to meet dangling. Dance for the canine scream. That means that you're winning. You're a failure if they think they can hear a real human being, shivering and crying inside your giant clown body. There's a two-drink minimum. Tip your waitress. You'll be here all night you say. You'll be here all night sucking out the cackles daring death to just try and take you and that's the joke you know. Life is a wonderful joke. When Tina Fey was five years old she was playing in her front lawn and a man walked up through with a knife and just slashed her across the face when Stephen Colbert was ten. His father and two oldest brothers died in a plane crash on September 11th 1974. Mark Twain tried to swallow an entire planet's imperialistic selfish greed and stuff it inside a funny white suit. When the daughter of Samuel Clemens died Mark Twain kept working. Samuel Clemens stopped working. We go on despite this to spite this in spite we go on. It really is a wonderful joke though. It's a really quite hilarious.