All right now, I'm sure you all remember this next winner for my first season. He's the original last comic standing. Please bring him to the stage with a huge round of applause, DAT Fan! From humble beginnings in San Diego, came a relative unknown to the comics scene named DAT Fan. A new comedy was for me when I was doing Asian in high school, and failed man. In the house, DAT's castmates conspired against him. We were going to play high in Masik and get DAT to go high, but nobody was going to go look for him. And it's not DAT's, but I'm successfully hiding from Ralphie. What the hell? What the hell? DAT proved himself as he took out his competition one by one. DAT Fan! In the finals, he faced Ralphie May. Hally smoked! DAT Fan! And ultimately beat him for season one's title of last comic standing. You have to be a little crazy to really sacrifice everything to get what you want. But I love it. All right, here he is, the Asian Invasion DAT Fan! Thank you so much! Oh man! It's so good to be back. I'm so thankful to be back on the last comic standing. I'm thankful to be one of the four Asians on TV, period. You know, because we need more Asian role models. When I started out, I had one role model. I had Sulu on Star Trek. You know what I'm talking about? Yes, Captain Sulu here, Dr. McCoy, looking for Poon on the Planet P. You know Sulu, right? And I just found out my one hero, Sulu, he's gay. He just came out of the closet and used a cock, but that's what my point is to us, you guys. I'm telling you guys, because you know, it's hard enough as it is being an Asian American getting, you know, movie roles. The only movies he could do now is the Man Wars of a Gay Man and broke back Mount Fuji. It's all like you do, you know. You know, see, some of you guys are laughing, because I'm like, I don't get it. Once you're going to start singing, she bangs. What the hell is happening here? Just to get it off. It's the guy in American Idol, right? Your mother on the group, she bangs Thai, her shoes, thing like a big, come on, she bangs. See, that's a better reaction than what I get in the South. It's like some other parts of the country I go to, right? Like, they're like, ah, both people, damn, both people! Both people! Like, why did the Asian, like, why did they call us, oh, both people? Why are we the only ones that call the way we got here? Didn't we all get here by boat at one point or another? Like, we don't call the pilgrims the boat people. We don't call the Irish the boat people. We don't call the Cubans to inner tubes tied to a common cooler people. So, whatever is like last, we've been like four Cubans in the back, like, ha, ha, wait, that's us. Get up, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! Actually, I was born and being on, but I grew up in America. I played with American toys. I played with GI Joe's. I love my GI Joe's. I love my GI Joe's. Do you like the GI Joe's? I love my GI Joe's. But then I realized I was a Vietnamese kid playing with white soldiers for fun. How confusing is that? What if you just pretend like I'm GI Joe and I hold myself hostage? We're winning! We captured ourselves. What now? Now the toys suck. Like, they're made by crack addicts. Like, I try to find some GI Joe's from my nephews. I found Glow in the Dark Ninjas in the GI Joe Force. Glow in the Dark Ninjas. Does that feel the purpose? I wouldn't Ninjas supposed to do? Like, Ninjas would be invisible in the dark. There's got like, nobody can see me. I'm glowing in the dark. What the hell going on here? Like, what's this code name? I'm obvious ginger. Could you see my hair? Kill me right here. I have an orange construction vest. Shoot me right now. What the hell? Because you see them when Asian people get pissed off. We all say the same thing. Like, you're trying not to laugh. They're like, what the hell? What the hell? What the hell? Crap you! What the hell? What the hell is this, more mad? We're like moving our arms over, we're chopping chicken and warmer pissed off? What the hell? Chicken's ready? Chicken right there for you. Who ordered? What the hell? What the hell? Did it time right there? Come play number 64, order. Come on, order. Hello, food man. I was touring with the East Meets West Comedy Tour and I was like out in the Vegas and we're watching Iron Chef America. Is love Iron Chef America? Love that show. It's great. I'm glad I'm Iron Chef America though. They don't cook anything American on Iron Chef America. Because that'd be like really boring. Like, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like Chef Dwayne is working on a hamburger. Our secret ingredient for today is... ...Belvita. Chicken's ready. I love Iron Chef America. I love going on MySpace nonstop. I'm on MySpace days. You know what I'm talking about? I take MySpace way too seriously though. You know you take MySpace way too seriously when you break up with your girlfriend and you take her off your top eight. You know what I'm talking about? And then you replace her picture with Tom. You know? And Tom O'Zioz has your back just like, hey man, you know what I'm talking about? Freedom. I got that like staring over the shoulder. But then she got back at me because then she replaced my picture with William Hung. Your mother on the grocery bank, come on. I love MySpace, I love Iron Chef. The one thing I can't stand is going shopping with my mom though. Seriously. That gets really ghetto because mom loves like coupon shopping. coupon double-chip, coupon, coupon, coupon, double-chip. She doesn't need scissors. She just uses her finger. Look at coupon, double-chip, coupon right there. Look at this. I'm catwoman, coupon for you right there. It's so ghetto. People that grocery store hate my mom. They hate her. I don't even know what's legal she does with coupons. Look at that. Look at this. We have $500. It's $500. After coupons. $10. Why you hate me? Oh wait, two more. Now you owe me $10. Ain't no highlight back girl, come on. I love dating all different girls. I especially date the white girls, you know? And it's like, I don't know what it is. It's crazy. My mom gets stand up. I don't know what it is. But I feel like when I'm having sex with a white girl, I'm reuniting Vietnam in America. That's what I feel like I'm doing. But my mom has a hard time with her. She has a hard time. Like every time. Look at her. She wanted. She was all saying that, which she wanted out of the time. Look at that. She's a hard. She's a hard. I can say anything. You know, this is Stacy. She's studying medicine. She's got to be a nurse. Hey, by looking at me, I'm a nurse. That's a hard. I'm a nurse. I can say, this is DJ. She's got to be a cheeler. Have you ever give me a DJ? What does it spell? Oh, yeah, I'm a hard. I think one day I'm going to bring home like an actual Asian girl. But she's like a prostitute instead. I'm going to come out and look at this girl. She's a hard. Hey, look at this girl. She's a nice girl. She can have like a syringe sticking out of her arm, you know? Hey, look at her. She's studying medicine. She's going to be a nurse. She's so relaxed. She's laying down on a dumpster. I think I'm dead fan. You guys are fantastic. Thank you so much. Thank you. It's good to be back. Let him know that fan. I shot that. Thank you, buddy. That fan, everybody.