It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. La la la la la. Every year for how long is it now? Five years. Five years. Every year for five years now these guys turn up the week before Christmas with their Christmas sweaters on. They sit in the audience and stare at me in a passive aggressive fashion. I feel like I put them on the show. But you know what's the weird thing is like they turn up every year the sweater guys turn up. The regulars clockwork but this year they brought sweater girl friends. Now I'm like well the days of the sweater guys are doomed. So, do you guys all live in the same house? Nope. Nope, yes. Who here is the meth supplier? These are all my children. We'll be right back. I'm waiting for the full. You know how it's getting close to Christmas? Look, Secretary has gurun antlers and a red nose. Yeah, Christmas is coming. I can still remember being a kid telling Santa all the stuff I wanted at Christmas. It didn't really matter. I got the same thing every year. Potato and a carton of cigarettes. And now a shankanery holiday memory. The year was 1972. I decided to make my way to the north pole to finally meet Shanta Claus. So I could punch him in the nuts for all the crap he gave me in 1971. Thank you. All right. All right. I love to be your president first. You have a president? Oh, yeah. The Christmas tree is not let up. This is my Christmas family tradition. We do something called the Lotto tree. If you're ever going to a secret Santa or something like this, this is what we give. You give it Lotto tickets? It's a Lotto. Instead of a sticker collection as a kid, I had something called the Lotto Museum. It was just like a weird brown plastic binder that said Lotto Museum. It was just all dead tickets. You really should be in therapy. I'm really sorry. And why you put Lotto tickets on the tree? And they put the lottery tickets? But they're expired Lotto tickets. No, no, they're like new scratchers. There's like a thing. Yeah. And then all the fancy big time like five dollar scratchers would go like in a cup in the middle of the table. Did you go up in a trailer? I grew up in New York. I grew up in New York. Now I live in a two up thing. A two up thing. Well, thanks for doing that. Do you still want to do the gum gum style dance and get out of here? I will. Come gum style dance and Sarah Chalk everywhere. Let's go. The other thing is that everybody. It's only one week left to Christmas everybody. I'm very excited. There's nobody here but you and me. And the audience machine. So I. So I thought I would look and see what the secret Santa got me for Christmas by peaking into my present. By looking into my box. I sometimes feel when I come out here and I the horse is at her spell. And stop shaking your head. You mad bastard. He tried to shake them off here. Hold on then. Come here. I have to do everything around here myself. There. Oh, sorry. What are you owing? Why are you owing? Here. Let me fix it. There you are. Normally I recommend shows on ABC. But there was an interest in one earlier tonight. I show about commercialisation and how it can affect young people and make them depressed. It's called a Charlie Brown Christmas. It does all your favourite peanut scatters. Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus, Snoopy, Pecky, Blinky, Dum Dum, Flip Flop and Poo Poo. The Charlie Brown Christmas special was made in 1965. But it still holds up. I don't know why though that the ABC tried to update it. They wanted it to appeal to modern audience jerks. That's right jerks. They were pizza from the Charlie Brown special tonight. Look, they've updated it. You get the B-bird, the honey boo boo. It was there. Look, look at this. It's nookies there. Is me, is the creepycat in the corner. Who's that? Who's that one above me? Is that the North Korean dictator of the Gangnam Star? And up a shun kind of a holiday memory. Heels my favourite X-Hair from the night before Christmas. Away to the window I flew like a flash. To open the shutter and smoked me some hash. Why have you been here 44 times? Who hurt you? What went wrong in your life? I don't know if we have the kind of time. I just really like it. Here, I like you. I like that. I like chunky, I like Michael. I think everyone is interesting. So you hate the horse? No, I like the horse. Mr. multiples have been there 44 times. I'm not pruning the hazy hair. He's hung up on me for a hole too. And he's one of those three people on the세. You're unique, right? I think he's by himself. He's the funniest, right? Low renowned dancer? The icon. I know he's the web operator. Look at him, you're, you're Cartier. So what, companies of this? Like the three- idols they scold every time thousands of times. as various celebrities, Jeff. Oh, he'll be. All right, then. All right. I'll do Sean Connery's, Mr. Scrooge. Yeah, this is good, yeah. You'll have to work on Crush Mischday, Bob Cratchett. That's good. All right. All right. All right. That's good. All right. I'll do Morgan Freeman's. Morgan Freeman is a Scrooge. Well, I'm sorry to tell you, but your ass is going to work today. There you go. All right. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Clinton as Mr. Scrooge. Bill Clinton as Mr. Scrooge, yes. I'd like to stuff bird. And give you a little present. All right. Here you go. Let's see. Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson. Now, as Mr. Scrooge. Here we go. Liam Neeson. Quickly. There's no time. Get out of my house, coach. Quickly. Quickly. There's no time. A shun canary holiday memory. Christmas, 1968. I decided to surprise my kids by coming down the chimney, dress the shun to a clause. The shoot got caught in something and ripped completely off. And there I was, completely nude in front of a terrified family. And now that's when I realised I wasn't even in my own house. Ah, Christmas minute. I'm trying to get the right horn, all right? You guys ready? Jeff? Yeah, here we go. All right, Secretary, all right, ready? If I don't get it, you have to run up and fetch it, right? What? Ah! It's who, all right. Oh, no, no, no. Never mind. I stayed out, all right. I didn't know Secretary I could reverse. This is awesome. Oh! All right, one more. Ah! Ah! Come on! Oh! Never mind. Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas.