What's going on you guys welcome to the single guide channel my name is Lloyd so today we're going to be talking about a subject that A viewer brought up and he writes to me. He writes Lloyd Big fan of the channel and all the advice that you bring Thanks, man Now my question to you is I've been talking to this girl for a while I really like her But we haven't been able to meet up because our city has been quarantined thanks to the coronavirus But we have been messaging a lot back and forth. I feel like it's going really well But I've been starting to worry. I'm worried that she is talking to other guys Do you think she is and if she is how do I make sure that I stay at the top of the list of guys that she's talking to Thanks so much Talk soon All right, so it sounds like this guy's talking to a girl. He likes her They've been messaging. He's wondering if she's messaging other guys as well too Okay, well probably but that doesn't mean she's being super promiscuous. Okay But How does he want how how can this guy make sure that he stays at the top of the list of guys that's talking to this girl So we're gonna talk about that in this video and also we're gonna talk about how to not have this worry in the future Because let me tell you living your life where your constantly worried if the girl you're talking to is talking to other guys I mean your dating is talking to other guys Certainly no way to live your life. Okay, so We're gonna talk about all those things but before we get into that Guys, I'm coming out with a product in two months We're around two months. We'll see with this pandemic that's happening So if you want to get a bonus video you want to get notified about that There is a link in the description box below click on that link sign up and we'll make sure you get notified Okay, so to answer this guy's question. Yeah, she probably is talking to other guys But that doesn't necessarily mean she's really interested in them because the way women work and you know I've seen this in my life that they kind of want one guy um Whether it's a guy that they're hooking up with seeing casually dating or being in a committed relationship with okay, generally I think that it's Women are different. There are plenty of differences But in general, this is what I've seen and what they've seen in studies because on average most of the time When they asked women how many sexual partners they'd like to have in a year most respondents said just one For men the answer was a little bit higher So she probably was looking for one guy now what happens is usually she'll have a bunch of guys that she's messaging that are kind of options that You know, maybe she likes in some way shape or form, but at the end of the day when she Chooses a guy that this is the guy that I really like that I'm into a lot of times those guys will fall off You'll usually see this when you're talking to a girl and you feel like it's going really well And then out of nowhere she just ghosts you and you're like well, what did I do? I didn't do anything Well probably didn't do anything, but she probably picked a guy that was better for okay So the question becomes how do you become that guy that gets picked? Well, I'll tell you one thing You're probably not going to be that guy if you're the guy that's always worried if she is talking to other guys Okay, that's not something a high value guy really worries about okay I haven't really worried about that for a long time because I know that I'm focusing on me and look man If a girl's talking to other guys and she wants to pick one of them, I want her to do that I don't want her to stick around with me and waste my time Okay, because I know my value. I know what I'm worth and if a girl doesn't see that that's fine She can go off and talk to some other guys, you know Okay, also it helps to to You know have the inner confidence within yourself where if it works it works if it works out great If it doesn't no big deal either okay, so make yourself put yourself as the best version of yourself That you can be because ultimately these guys that she's picking over you are doing something that you're not and typically what I've seen in my programs And in my own lifetime Usually what's missing is connection okay, not all the time sometimes, you know Maybe she just doesn't feel enough desire for you and it was like whatever But generally I see it's connection because if she's messaging you she gave you her phone number and you guys are talking and so you know She's taking the time to respond to your messages Probably there's something there okay. She's attracted to you in some way shape or form now Attraction is easy liking someone is easy What's not easy and what's more rare is a deep connection with somebody So how do you get a deep connection with somebody okay? Well typically it comes down to like three things you know being they have to be more familiar with to you So they're more comfortable around you so familiarity You also need to bond with that person more meaning you have certain things you haven't common And the last thing I think is a big important one which is common goals meaning you guys are kind of you know Where each of you is going and you're kind of moving in the same direction So how do you get this if you are someone who like you feel like you're at the bottom of the list right now? How do you upgrade your way to the top? So I'll tell you a story about how when I felt like I was at the bottom of the list and this story happened about It happened years ago But it happened with a girl that I knew in college now. I knew who she was in college. I don't think she knew she I don't think she knew who I was I think that Maybe she could recognize my face, but that's about it Because when we encountered each other she was a little bit like who are you? But you know after some explaining she knew who I was So we met at this party didn't she didn't really seem to pay too much attention to me But I got her phone number so there was I guess maybe something there I knew she was seeing a guy. I didn't know who it was. I knew of him Clearly I'm not the top of the list of guys that she's messaging But you know we text message back and forth. I was talking to her It wasn't really trying to hit on her or anything So it was more just like casual banter back and forth. We were laughing with each other We actually had some some some good back and forths going Which I really enjoyed But ultimately it wasn't really hitting on her okay So then we met at a party we ran to each other at a party and um, I think just ran on the other street somewhere Then Coachella happened and I went to Coachella. She went to Coachella We ended up meeting at Coachella and then we just had this like really Deep conversation where we talked about our common goals and that's really what triggered it And then afterwards we you know hooked up for the rest of the festival We dated each other for about I think seven months seven months or something like that So what happened here what changed? Well, she became more familiar with me by kind of running into me at some of these parties messaging back and forth And I wasn't trying to get her out or anything it was just it was just me making conversations So that breeder familiarly she got used to me she got more comfortable with me And then at the same time too we had a lot of the same friends we like going to the same party So we have shared interests there we were able to bond on those I typically think you got to bond on three things So it was like the people that we knew the festivals that we like going to and then there was like some hobbies that we Oh, we also liked now the last thing was the common goals we During that conversation you know even though I didn't think we were going to be able to connect on this because she was actually a stripper She was actually a really ambitious person she had a lot of goals besides being pretty You know besides being pretty and being sexual she had a lot of different things that she was focused on And we really connected on that and that was the missing piece because I really felt like I knew her And I knew where she was going to and she felt the same way about me too So once that happened that connection was there It just upgraded us from me just being this guy who man maybe he's kind of cute Or maybe he seems nice like to a guy who she actually this is a guy that I want to get with okay And after that I later found out that she kind of stopped messaging All those other guys I found out through them actually So if you guys want to be the person at the top of this I recommend going for connections That's the thing that you can control if there's not that much there They're just going to focus on your looks status and all those things that are Generally outside of your position to control in the short term so Think about this right now What are some ways that you could actually this person that you haven't been before lately I've been facetiming a lot of the people that are important in my life People that I'm dating people that are friends family all of that stuff it breeds a better connection Messaging to keeping up with them on social media those sorts of things see how you can build the connection The three ways that I talked about and if you can do that I guarantee you you're going to be at the top of the list rather than bottom So thanks a lot you guys if you made anything consider subscribing I come out with videos like this every single week And look if you're willing to get coached by me in person You're looking to really upgrade your skills. I'm doing something special now that we're all at home We can do a lot of self worth self work to improve our self worth And so that's something that I would love to be able to do with you guys if you're interested So if you're interested in that there's a link in the description box below click on that link fill out the form and we'll get back to you Cool, thanks a lot you guys You