Hi, I'm Jay Ketwoods and I am a non-binary YouTuber and musician. Some bright lights. Why are pronouns important? Well, pronouns are a part of the language you use to address a person, and they change depending on who you're talking to, and you should always address someone with respect. Deciding not to use the correct pronouns for a trans person is a huge sign of disrespect, and will most likely lead to that person feeling deeply uncomfortable and possibly even unsafe in your company. Personal pronouns are not, as people popularly believe, just he and she. The singular use of they then pronouns have been around since the 14th century, and was used as a gender-neutral pronoun. The use of they then has been gradually increasing since the 1970s as singular personal pronouns, as the need for gender-neutral and inclusive language has progressed. Today it is widely understood that gender is a spectrum just like sexuality. We have people who sit at very fixed binary points of male and female, but many people exist in this space around those points. This is called non-binary. Many non-binary people like to use they then pronouns as they don't implicate a binary gender and make them feel uncomfortable. It's important to remember that you can never be sure of a person's pronouns just by looking at them. Gender is a spectrum, and the way we express and present our gender to the outside world is just as vast as that spectrum. Asking a person what their pronouns are is not rude. It can be a little bit intimidating at first, but once you get into the habit, you can be confident that you won't be incorrectly assuming a person's pronouns based on how they present. This is a positive step forward, as it normalises the behaviour of not making assumptions and not linking a person's clothing to how they identify. Many people argue that they then pronouns are plural and cannot be used as a person's singular pronouns because it's confusing. Much of the English language is confusing, and it's not uncommon to have words that have multiple meanings. Some people just don't realise how often they use they then in a singular context already. For example, Jamie is bringing a friend over, but I don't know their name. It's used to refer to a person who's gendered pronoun has not yet been identified, so why not use they then for one person? If someone you meet has pronouns that are they then, you should respect that and use them, because the impact of misgendering them can take a huge toll on their mental health, and it's extremely disrespectful. Since the 14th century, pronouns outside of he, she and they have been brought into our language. These are pronouns like A, Lee, C and Thon. Although most of these aren't in use today, they are a part of what we call neo-pronounce. It can be hard to learn to conjugate these pronouns, but if you meet a person who uses them, it doesn't hurt to give it your best shot and take direction from them. Or even look it up for yourself. It takes a small amount of effort on your behalf, but it will most likely mean the world to a person who uses neo-pronounce. I feel like my eyes twitching. The landscape of our language is always changing and adapting to suit our needs, just as more labels for sexuality have come around over the years. Gender identities have gone through the same thing. Nombinary is an umbrella term that encompasses many labels. Gender fluid is someone who considers their gender to be fluid rather than fixed on one point. By gender is someone who identifies as two genders, which could be male, female, or a number of other things. A gender is someone who doesn't have a gender at all. And so on. These identities are vast and unique to each person, and no one really feels their gender in the same way. For many non-binary people, using he or she can make them uncomfortable, but lots of people use multiple pronouns. I personally identify as non-binary and my pronouns are he or they, and that's because I feel a connection to masculinity. But I often feel very fluid and unconstrained by masculine ideas. The term preferred pronouns only comes into play when a person uses multiple pronouns, but has a preference. This preference can change day to day as their gender fluctuates. My preferred pronouns are they, but only because they're not the only pronouns that are on a me. A trans person does not have preferred pronouns if they only take one set of pronouns. Saying that someone with one set of pronouns has preferred pronouns implies that they have multiple, and in doing so, you risk thinking it's okay to misgender them. So using the correct pronouns is not optional. It's okay to ask, respect how labels and language are evolving, and always be open to learning new things. We all have to start somewhere.