Hey fam, welcome back to the channel. Today I would love to talk with you about a book, particularly Clown on the Cornfield by Adam Caesar. All right, so if you know me by now, you know that I usually dig Adam's shit, so it's kind of hard for the course right now. If you don't, well, here we go. I've seen to recall recently, being like, you know, I'm tired of reading about crap happening to kids and then you know, I just should happen. It's okay. I'm going to try to keep it nice and simple. I would love to say I'm one of those spiffy motherfuckers who's capable of doing this without it. No, so here we go. Now there are countless reviews out there already for the story. I'm a little late to the party, which is perfectly fine. That's how I do. I highly recommend checking those out because they're all pretty darn spiffy, okay? But just in case you don't recall the synopsis, let's go for it. When Quinn and her father moved to a tiny town with a weird clown for a mascot, they're looking for a fresh start. But ever since the town's only factory shut down, Kettle Springs has been cracked in half. Most of the town believes that the kids are to blame. After all, the juniors and seniors at Kettle Springs, hi, are the ones who threw the party where Arthur Hills daughter died. They're the ones who set the abandoned factory on fire and who spend all their time posting pranks on YouTube. They have no respect and no idea what it means to work hard. I fucking love that episode of Kettle Springs. Moving on. For the kids, it's the other way around. And now Kettle Springs is caught in a constant battle between old and new tradition and progress. It's a fight that looks like it will destroy the town until one homicidal clown with a pork pie hat and a red nose decides to end it for good. Because if your opponents all die, you win the debate by default. Okay, so yeah, the kids are not okay. Like I said, it's not a cover. Thank you. This cover also has a spiffy little little little quote from Gordel Kleiv Barker, just saying. So if you've read any Adam Caesar and you're used to the gore and all that shit, I'm happy to report that even though this is about teenagers, it's still present very much. So I seem to recall there being a few times I was like, they don't do those good. Speaking as a whore, then there's some good, like, you know, death scenes in here. I'm just saying it's pretty spiffy. Can I stop saying spiffy? Like what the fuck? Anyway, yeah, I don't really know what else to say though. It's a as per usual with Adam's work. It's a fun ride. Again, speaking as a whore fan, the flow, everything. I don't... I think that there was really only one point where I was like, but like, what? Let's go ahead. It's been a minute. So let's go ahead and check my notes. See if I can understand them this time. Are you a betting person? You'll see. So like that was definitely my favorite part. The fact that us... that grew up being whore fans, we know the kids can handle it, right? Like, I mean, yeah, maybe some of us were starting to watch that shit a bit too young. Whatever, it's fine. I didn't have nightmares and my parents were like, okay, fine. And that's all she wrote. I probably shouldn't have watched half that shit though. Let's be real. I don't think I had a nightmare about Freddie Krueger until I was like 19 and I defeated that asshole. I feel like there's a point in the beginning where he's like describing this new house and I was like, dude, you're speaking like a grown man who's had a bad house. I don't think teenagers give a shit about those details unless their parents kind of force that on them. You know what I mean? Like, what? What? Are they going to grow up to be an architect? Like, what's happening here? But you know, whatever, I understood it. It's fine. Dude, there are couches that have heated seats. I'm so content with the couch or with a, you know, cup holder. Nailed it. Totally fucking nailed it. I don't really shit what you said. I forgot about that. That's gonna bug me again. Where can I buy these things? I have no many fuck that shit. Why are people so obsessed with the fucking Swedish meatballs at IKEA? What the fuck? I feel like I haven't had like real can we say traditional? It's not like that's where meatballs were whatever. That's a different discussion. I don't I feel like I haven't had, it's kind of like when I was introduced to sushi, right? It was grocery store sushi. And I was like, you know, I'm just going to wait to form an opinion. That's how I feel about Swedish meatballs. Like, you know, if some Swedish people make me some meatballs, I'll probably eat a shit out of them, huh? But I'm not one who's gonna, you know, want to go there for dinner before prom. I'm just, I don't want to talk about my furniture. I have a lot of that shit. You've seen a lot of that shit. Oh, there's a freaking... There's an ending for one of the chapters with the mayor. Well, thing he says where it was just like... He's silly. He's getting it. Those are those are my main notes. Just the death scenes. The death scenes are still fucking good, which seems to be a running theme for us reviewers. Either way, it's Adam. Like, I feel like those of us who have read Adam's work, like we know what we're getting ourselves into. We're just gonna put ourselves in your palms, sir, and go for the ride. And probably enjoy the shit out of ourselves. You don't have to, which you're probably gonna. And, yeah, that's that's pretty good. Like, I don't know what else to say. It's Adam. Like, fuck yeah, dude, let's go. I still feel like I'm just barely getting started with his work. I still have a lot of catching up to go, so... But yeah, that's pretty much it. Like, it's just... The flow and everything. It works at all, like, you know, and next thing you know, you're done. I feel like all I needed to do was finish Salem's lot. That's the only thing that's been hold to me back. I've read four books since I finished reading Salem's lot. Are you kidding me right now? I've known that. Holy shit. David. Damn it. I'm not saying I blame you. I'm just saying. Damn it. All right, I'm gonna stop Abilaniachi for now. I feel like I took longer than I ever intended because it's just... I feel like I'm verbally sucking the man's dick anyway. So, if you're only here for the review, there you go. You got it. If, you know, we like, you know, I feel like I want to let folks know. I know I've been a bit quiet. I haven't really been commenting on folks' videos and shit. It's nothing personal. I'm just human as fuck, you know what I mean? So I promise I'm one of those views. I'm one of those likes. I'm still very much around. I'm just human. Still human. So until next time and beyond, please, please take care. Please, please, please, man, like, fuck. I am trying as well. I swear I'm fucking trying. I just want to sleep on sweat-tired. Whoo!