Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. My rack wants fucked up. Why thank you? Thank you. Store bought 5,500. They can be yours too. This evening, I asked my friends what I should talk about at my next Ignite Denver presentation, and my friend Nick Armstrong sent me a link to an article on National Geographic from 2007, talking about how redheads were set to be extinct in the next 100 years. And I was like, fuck up. And so I started digging into it. And the article referred to us as mutants. And I was like, I've been called a lot of things in my lifetime, but mutant isn't one of them. And in researching the article, I realized that it's been proved to be pretty much complete bullshit, that we have the strength to carry on as our appearance does. And I was looking into what makes us redheads. So this is the genetic background. We have an excess of fiamelinin, which is a reddish pigment, shocker. And we lack what's called u-melinin, which makes the rest of you pretty much look the way you do. Add that to two copies of a recessive gene on chromosome 16. And you get naturally occurring redheads in nature, which, as you can see behind me, can go awesome or horribly awry. And how many people in here have used a nickname for a redhead? Terms of enduroment, firecrotch, medusa. We get asked if the carpet matches the drapes. However you want to make fun of us, there are some really interesting things about redheads that I'm going to share with you this evening. I like to think of them as superpowers. So the first one is we actually have an abnormally low pain tolerance. It takes about 20% more anesthesia to knock us out during surgery, which means our chances of scoring an anesthesiologist for a husband are astronomically higher, because they spend a lot of time with us. And when we tell you it hurts, yes, it fucking hurts. The second part is when you're being teched, by the way, don't ever Google tattooed redheads, especially at the office. When we're being teched, I'm probably not going to have time to do this slide, but hope you enjoy that. This is a power that's actually unique to redheaded women only. We have the power to instantaneously up the real estate value of any man on our arm. And that power is usually not shared by redheaded men. So if you're not sold on how awesome redheads are, let's take a look at some famous redheads. We all know about Lucille Ball and Christina Hendrix. Hot. But Queen Elizabeth I, the daughter of Ann Bolin, and Henry VIII. That's what I'm talking about. Her rule was known as the Golden Age, and one of the most prosperous and successful reigns of any monarchy in English history. And Napoleon, he's not just the beginning of a stereotype for men who have something to prove. He was also a redhead and an incredible writer if you've never read the love letters between Napoleon and Josephine, I highly recommend it. But what can you do to make sure that the National Geographic article doesn't become the truth? How can you help promote the redheaded population? Some tips and tricks to carry you through your day. Continue the mocking. Keep making fun of us, because the longer you make fun of us, the tougher we get, and the more we're going to fuck you up when we get older. So, yeah, that pretty much stands for itself. Become an egg donor, ladies, between the ages of 18 and 32, contact a local fertility clinic. I am actually a 10-time egg donor, and considering all of my couples have had multiple births, that's my secret plan for world domination. You can also date a redhead. Online dating, hang out in the sunscreen aisle at Target. You can work at a bike shop, which is a proven theory. You could also choose to pro-create with redheads. Ow! We comprise 4% of the overall population. The other 10% of the population is Scotland has 40% of them. Ireland has the other 10% and remember the slide earlier, choose wisely. And so, just a recap of what we learned this evening about redheads. We are mutants. We do have superpowers. We are geographically concentrated. Scotland and Ireland primarily. Keep mocking. We'll just keep getting awesome. And this chest-in were incredible locator beacons. You can't lose this in a crowd. I'm Erica Napolitano, redhead writer.