How many people do you need to ruin your life? Yeah. Just one. Welcome to another episode of Mental Wealth TV. I'm Amy Golding, Director of Psychology at the WMA CHI. And I'm Peter Diaz, CEO. And today we're talking about psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists and master manipulators. Yes, we are. So Peter, why do you think this topic has been so interesting to people lately? Well, it's been very popular because I think people are in stage after almost two years being at home, constant onslaught of the media, getting a lot of information that is contradictory. I think we are tired of being taken for a ride. I think that's not a new thing to all of us at some point have been manipulated and taken advantage of. I mean, I remember when I was 19, the first cut that I bought, I was taken for a ride from the salesman. He's basically sold me a second-hand car in good condition, apparently, according to what he said. But almost for the price of a new car. Wow. Yeah, it took me years to pay it off. So I know what it is like to be taken advantage of. That's not the only time. Many people can relate to that, but... You know, sometimes we think of narcissists in relationships only, but we're all a little bit narcissistic, to be honest. And we have to control it. Let's back up quick definition. What is a narcissist? A narcissist, basically, is a person that is really obsessed with themselves. It's all about me, me, me, me. Which we kind of all out, so to agree. We are. We are the center of our own world. So it's normal. It's human to think of myself more than I think of other people. What if we miss the opportunity to be kind and compassionate and to think of others to be considerate and empathetic? Then we have missed the richness of the human experience. Plus we also become a little bit of a... An asshole, you know, we call it. So we want to avoid that aspect of things. So being with a narcissist, it's not pleasant, because you end up giving all the time and never getting anything back. So most of us would like to think that we could spot a narcissist to psychopath, the manipulator coming, that we wouldn't fall for that. You know, other people fall for that, but not me. It's a common misconception. Yeah, I know. It's not true. A really good psychopath, you can't see them coming. They will make you feel really special. Yeah. And they will make you feel like you are the center of the world. They will change their... their likes, what they do, how they dress. They're really good ones. Yeah. You will think that they're really kind of loving because they're changing themselves for you. It could be the first time that you really feel seen with a really good confidence person, a con man, or a con woman. That's what the gains work comes from. Yeah. Narcissism and psychopathy belongs to both genders. Yes. I would say there are more psychopaths that are male, but there are more narcissists that are female. That's interesting because a lot of the focus out there is the other way around. Narcissistic men is kind of the image that's portrayed out there, but it does work both ways. You're right. Sometimes the last person to realise that it's a narcissist is the narcissist themselves. Yeah. So when you're a narcissist, sometimes you don't even know that you're being a narcissist and somebody tells you. You know what I think has helped create this big focus on it at the moment? I have to keep coming back to social media. Yeah. I mean, when you look at posting your whole life online in your feed for the whole world to see what I had for breakfast, where I went today, what I did today, it kind of creates that environment, posting the photos of myself. Look at me. Yes, really. I'm not so old as you're seeing. I kind of think we, as a society, as people, as social animals, we could be making the behavior of the psychopath, the sociopath, and the narcissist worse. Yeah. Because we seem to be interested in what they do. Yeah. So it's good that we recognise who they are. Yeah. So we can watch error on behavior. So we don't feed their psychopathy. We don't feed their sociopathies. We don't feed the narcissism. And we can protect ourselves at the same time. And that's why the cost was put together. And so people could become aware of those strategies that are being used. So you can look after yourself and spot it coming before you find yourself in the midst of the problems that it can create. What kind of problems have you seen it create when people aren't aware of those strategies that are being used against them? First of all, you're in danger. Because you don't know the level of psychopathy of this person. If you're feeling that you've been taking advantage of. A lot of people that feel that they have been taking advantage of are actually doing the taking advantage of other people. The other way around. The other way around. So an immature person will always think that everything happens to them. And they're not aware of how they're doing. Go to someone you respect that doesn't tell you always what you want to hear. Somebody that can talk to you freely. And ask them, am I seeing this in the right way? If it is true, like we point out in our online course the psychological self-defense schools. We point out what the behaviors of a sociopath and a narcissist are and how you need to respond to each. So with an narcissist, it's very different than with a psychopath. A psychopath can be very, very dangerous. Because a psychopath doesn't care if you die. You know, most psychopaths won't kill you but some of them will. It's okay. They will not lose any sleep over it. So if you find a psychopath, you better know what to do. You're dealing with it. Because you need to find out is my life in danger. Can I stay around this person? How far do I need to run? Yeah. So you need to do the course to understand that. If you're dealing with a narcissist, a narcissist is more about attention seeking and sucking the life energy out of you. Oh, that's not quite so bad. Yeah, yeah. Well, it is bad but at a different level. Your life is not immediately in danger. What you have to be careful with an narcissist is that they can destroy your reputation very quickly. Once you spot those strategies, you can stay away from it. Great. But what are some tips for if you can't? In the presence of someone that is really dangerous like a psychopath, what should you do? Run. Yeah. As a first thing that you need to do, run. And if you can't run, be extremely respectful. Do not tell them that they're a psychopath. And do not tell them that you know that they're a psychopath. Be very careful. A rich studies between 3% or 4% of the population can be psychopaths. Yeah, that doesn't sound like a lot. But that's higher than the threat from COVID. They are a threat to your physicality, but they're also a threat to your mental health. These are the kind of people that we call toxic. Yeah. So if you're in a relationship with someone toxic, you need to know how to spot them. Yeah. And you need to know what to do with them and whether you should stick around. So this knowledge that we're talking about is of paramount importance. So we identify these people early on. Yeah. And we don't allow them to become the directors of our life because they love to tell you what to do. They love to dominate. And it's not necessarily about criticizing them. It's just about repairing ourselves. Absolutely. So that we're able to respond appropriately for our own well-being and our mental health. Well, yes. To protect yourself is very important, but also to protect your children if you have them. You know, kids are prey to people with bad intentions. They need to learn which of those friends they shouldn't be associating with. And which friends are telling where they call porky pies? Porky pies. And little lies and big lies. You know, they need to learn to have discernment around that. So we deal with those things in the course. Great course. Highly recommended. Exactly. We recommend it. Go and check it out in our website, www.machire.com. There's a tab there for online courses. And you will like it. It's a problem. Thank you. Talk soon. Hi, I'm Amy Golding, Director of Psychology for the Workplace Mental Health Institute. We hope you liked the video. If you did, make sure to give it a thumbs up. We have more and more videos being released each week. So when you subscribe, you'll get a notification letting you know when a new one's just been published. 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