Sociologists have been studying bullying for decades. They just don't call it bullying. They've always called it dominance behavior. That it's other people trying to overpower others. And it's just like the animal kingdom. You know, the alpha male mentality. That's what's happening on campus. And so when we understand it in terms of dominance behavior, people trying to have power over another that helps us understand what to do about bullying when we really understand what it is. All the bully experts agree on one thing that bullying is an imbalance of power that someone's trying to have power over you. They want to see you lose and they want to win. You see, the experts say it's an imbalance of power. Let me put it this way. Let's say a bully says they hate your guts. I hate your guts. If you respond out of anger, shut up! The bully loves that never. I hate you. Don't care. You're hurting my feelings. That's the point, stupid. You see, the more upset you get, the more angry you get, the more fun they have. But what would happen if we were resilient? Everybody say resilient. What if we were emotionally strong? Everybody say strong. What if we were mentally tough? Everybody say tough. Then no matter what the haters says, you wouldn't care. I hate your guts. That's nice. You smell like body odor. You're nasty. Thanks for the information. Your face is ugly. You have a face of an angel's sweet cheeks. Okay, maybe that was too far. But how awesome would it be if you, the victim of relentless teasing and taunting or bullying, decided to not get upset, to have tough skin, to allow the hateful mean words of others bounce right off you and not care what the other person says. See, some people say, well, Brooks, doesn't a person have to have a high sense of self-esteem to be able to do what you're asking? Don't they have to have self-confidence or a high sense of self-worth? No, no, they don't. If you explain to students that bullying is nothing more than a game about winning and losing and that the way that they can win is by not getting upset and the bully will lose. And when people lose, they don't like playing the game so they'll leave you alone. When you explain that to a student, it's simple. It's concrete. It's not abstract. It's not ethereal. It's not complex. It's simple. Don't get upset no matter what they say. I'm not saying it's easy, but in logic, it's very simple. Now, it's important to know this. When I say bullying, I'm only talking about when someone's hurting your feelings. If you can understand bullying in terms of someone hurting your feelings, then the solution is very simple. But some people think bullying is more complex than hurting your feelings. They think bullying is like violence. Let me make it very clear. When I say bullying, I'm not talking about when someone punches your face. I actually believe that you should get upset if someone punches your face. That's not bullying. That's called assault and battery. Don't just stand there. It's all good. No, dude. If someone straight up punches your face, get upset. Why? Because that's a crime. That's not bullying. It's a crime. And crime should be punished. And if you ever feel like your life is in danger, you should be protected. You should reach out for help. These are social skills that every human needs to learn. Because there's mean people all around us. There's jerks everywhere. I've discovered that when you empower kids to solve their own social problems, three things happen. Number one, they grow in self-esteem. They grow in self-confidence. And they grow in self-worth. All three words have one word in common, self. You can't do it for the kid. He has to do it for himself. And only when he solves the problem for himself, does he grow in self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth. And that's what we should be doing. Every victim of bullying deserves the right to be taught how to solve their own social problems. And that's what we need to move towards, I believe. Now, in this game, I want you to call me an idiot. I'm going to try to get you to stop being mean. You can make fun of my high forehead, my pointy nose, you can make fun of my ugly clothes. Here's how the game works. It's pretty brilliant. I'm going to try to get you to stop being mean. And if I can stop you from being mean, I win. But if I can't stop you and you keep being mean to me, you win. Okay? So the goal is not to give up. You call me an idiot and you keep making fun of me. I'm going to try to stop you. On the count of three, everyone say action. One, two, three. When, call me an idiot. You're an idiot. What'd you say? You're an idiot. You're an idiot. You're ugly. Yeah, it hurts my feeling. Yeah, like I care. I'm going to get you in trouble. Sure, short stuff. I'm taller than you. Shut up. You call me an idiot one more time and I will win. You'll kick your face. Like I care. Like you could do anything in those clothes. These clothes are freaking awesome. Okay? Sure, plaid in sweater vest. Oh, you have eyes. You can see. Stop being mean. I hate your face. Stop being mean. I hate blonde people. All right, give her a big hand clap. She'd be great. All right, now hold on, hold on. Good job. All right. I tried to stop you. I couldn't. You did a great job. We're going to play one last time. Same rules. You can call me an idiot. I'm going to try to stop you. Don't let me stop you. Okay? You keep being mean to me. You think I can stop her? No. No. All right, I'll try. Here we go. On the count of three, everyone say action. One, two, three. Go and call me an idiot. You're an idiot. Oh, you think I'm an idiot? Yeah. Yeah, sometimes I do stupid things. That's true. Yeah, you do. You always do stupid things. I know. You're so smart. You're so lucky. Yes, I am. You're awesome. Thank you and you're not. I know. We established that. Cool. Look, my happiness is not based on whether you think I'm cool or not. I'm going to be happy even if you hate my guts. Okay. And I'll always be nice to you, sweetheart. Okay. No. Isn't she lovely? Thank you. You're welcome. I want. Give me a big hand, Clive. That was awesome.