I'm going to fucking shoot what the name of Scott Walker! Thank you very much, thank you very much. Good evening boys and girls. I want to have a chat with you about my increasingly sagging scrotum. Because these bad boys are getting lower and lower every day. And it was something that nobody told me about. There was no point, my dad came up to me in my life and went, listen boy, when you were a bit older you could be walking along the beach. I'm like a wife and a couple of kids. As you walk across that golden sand, your nuts are going to be rubbing your footprints out. Because it is a shock when this happens. For me I kind of discovered the droopage about two years ago, ran about my 40th birthday. And my wife wanted this falling from mirror, put up in the bathroom. So it puts the mirror up, it's very nice, very lovely. Four or five days later I'm having a shower because it was my turn. It was one of those really hot showers. You know, where everything is bigger than normal. And I kind of got out the shower and I'm sort of glanced over in the mirror and I was like, look at that big bastard. Woohoo! Helicopter, helicopter helicopter! Now, everybody knows there were two things that every guy is going to do when he's naked in a room with a mirror. The first one is the helicopter. The second one is man-gina. Ladies, this is true. I swear to God this is true, if you ask your fellows and he says no, he's fucking lying. Now, the lovely ladies in the audience, if you're not sure about the man-gina, that's where you take your old chap and you push him down between your legs. Well, obviously for me he's like, fucking, what is that? What can between you? What your legs together and you've got a purse. Alright? So, I'm in the mirror, I've done my helicopter. I'm checking out my man-gina and it was a good one because I've got the crease right down the middle as well. And I can't be honest as I'm standing there looking at my own purse. I've got a bit turned on. So now, there's two things that happens with a man when he gets turned on. First of all, his thinking brain switches off. Next, his dick brain turns on. So, I'm standing there with my man-gina and my dick brain's turned on. And I'm thinking to myself, do you know what? When I get out of this bathroom, I'm giving my wife the best 17 seconds she's ever had. Thinking brain kicks in. And thinking brain goes and hang on a second. Years and years ago when we first got together, no kids, no marriage or that kind of stuff. I'd come home from work say, good evening, baby, how was your day? Shrinkers would fly off. Alright, if I can hit me in your mind nearly once. Ten years and two kids later, I can't get the bloody things off of the blowtorch and the crowbar. He's like, fucking, did I bother to do that? So, I'm in the bathroom thinking, I've got a bit of work to do. And I got it. I thought, you know what, I'm going to put on a show for her. I'll come out in the bathroom, just do me tell and say, baby, go sit on the bed. Cause I got a little something for you. Woo, woo, that's my jam, that's my jam. So, right, okay, what am I going to do with my show? Right, you've lads, if you're giving a show to your girls, right? You start as fatenue, it's always a buckling. Get them sitting on the bed, wrap your tail off with your back to them and just go check this out. Buckling, buckling, buckling, buckling! We all know the girls love that. Girls love that shit. So, I'll think it's a zero-friar. Well, look, this is just a stand-a-night. It's not Christmas, it's not my birthday. I need to come up with something pretty special for this. So, I'm right. Right, got the buckling, just ask me starters. Then I got it. I'll pull it beyond say. Now, lads, if you've never done this for your girls, you trust me, right? This works. You take this with you from me. All right, this is yours, you're welcome. So, you do your starters, your buckling, buckling, buckling, buckling, and you go straight into, she's day-am. So, now trust me, lads, all right? Trust me. If you're naked, this view from back there for a woman, this is like, kryptonite, right? They will go weak at the knees every time. There's a couple of ladies there I can see, all right? I think we're getting a few soggy saddlebags out there. This is how powerful this shit is, right? So, I'm in the mirror. In the bathroom in the mirror going, right? Here we go, I'm going to practice now, right? Okay, yeah. She's day-am. Now, l thought, I just have a quick look back. Because this is hot, I know it's hot. So, glancing at the mirror. What the fuck? My wife comes running into the bathroom. What is it? What is it? What's wrong? Because my wife's in middle age, go you guy. It's the only accident I can do. Sorry, I can't do accidents. She's coming to go, what's wrong? I'm like, I can do it. There's a big lumpy to do it. And she's like, where's she? This is true, this is how I showed it. I've been... Now, from here, all I can hear is, oh, oh, no, no, oh, what is it? What does it look like? My wife was actually going, oh, oh, oh, it looks like a tiny brain on a string. It should go nuts for God's sake, put them away. I was like, oh, nobody told me. Oh, no. See, guys, once you get over that shock, it's not so bad. You can have some good fun with it. There's many a time of I come out this year and I thought, you know, what, have a quick game in that tennis? Just give a bit of a slack. I can do good impressions now when you know you could. I do a great impression of a male kangaroo hopping away from you. You sort of go, burying, burying, burying, burying. Although, guys, be careful with that one, because if it's a tile floor with the colds a bit of a shock, when it hits you out, to be honest. I've figured out that if I kind of stand just right and get there, they have a flick, I can smack my own ups with my nuts, so. It's like my own round of applause, it's great. But my best game to play that I love, when I was a kid, right, I had this little game and it was a plastic ice cream cone. I'm on top of the ice cream cone with a foam ball and it was attached by a long bit of string. You kind of flick it up and you have to catch the ball in the cone. I can play the same game with my nuts and my asshole. You sort of, yeah, you get yourself ready and you're like, you need to swing in the flick, right? Swing and flick, and swing on a flick. With the bear holding one. Boys and girls, thank you very, very much. Thank you very, very much. Applause Scott Wolf of Ice and Jerry! Music