Sometimes this life gets to me and it's hard to control. I hold it. Hi there. Welcome to Dear CyberSeed Vice Talk Show. I'm Susan McCord. Today we're going to talk about a question that I got from a woman and actually a few ladies in my meetup group are questioning very similar to this scenario that's happening to them as well. The question is why is my teen daughter so disrespectful to me since our separation? So what's happened is this woman who wrote to me, Christine, she said that since her and her husband have split up, they're not divorced yet but they're separated. The daughter has really turned against her. She's super disrespectful in how she speaks to her, the way her body language is, she rolls her eyes at her, she doesn't listen to a damn thing she says all day long. And Christine is getting very emotional about this because her daughter and her used to be close. Now they've been separated for about a year and it's been gradually getting worse. Now part of this is because the daughter is getting a little bit older and as you get into the teen years, there's lots of stuff that happens that's not very cool. And you have to kind of deal with that and it's hard enough dealing with the, you know, in a couple situation but when you're by yourself and you're trying to keep her directed and guided and deal with your own issues with a separation and a pending divorce, these things are not easy to keep at a really nice, normal kind of place for the daughter to be or any kids for that matter. So I have to tell you though, if you lose control of your daughter during this time and especially in her teen years, you're going to lose her for a while. You need to always be on top of being strong with her. Have some guidelines, have some boundaries that she's not allowed to overstep. And I've talked about this in other videos where you never ever let your child talk down to you. You don't let them take that control where they treat you like you're a piece of garbage. Yes, they're angry, they're upset. They have every right to be hurt about what's going on in their own family, their family splitting up. But get her to talk to somebody else outside of your family. Whether if you can't afford a counselor or a therapist, a lot of places, like you say your work, company might have like an employee assistant program, EAP. If they don't have that, find maybe a mentor that she can talk to outside of the family that you trust, maybe a sister, maybe grandmother, or maybe just a really good friend, something like that, but she needs to talk to somebody else. And that person also needs to be on your side about what's going on here. Now, if you need direction with maybe how you're handling her, maybe you're being dismissive of her, maybe you're not hearing her out, there's lots of things that can happen when you're dealing with a divorce or separation. Because sometimes you don't see clearly how emotional you are, how maybe you're acting out, but never ever let your daughter be disrespectful to you. Now, if she's learning it from you, well, you're going to have to figure that out and maybe you need to get some counseling as well. I often suggest that people go together to counseling. I don't necessarily mean together in the same room, but you go, they go, and you separately deal with this through a counselor. That is a really good way to sort of keep on track with your daughter because you don't want to lose them. And the teenage years are so... I mean, God, I'm just thinking back, it's making me crazy thinking about it. How hard they are on the teenager and on yourself. And then you add a split into the mix and it just upsets everything 100% more. So don't let them talk down to you, don't let them talk. Mean nasty, nothing like that. That is something that you have to get under control. You don't talk down to them, don't be nasty to them, don't be short with them. Just say to them, this is unacceptable. We need to get to the bottom of all this and we're going to figure it out together. Don't sort of push them away because you don't know what to do or push them away because you haven't got time to deal with it because you've got your own issues. Always take time to deal with the initial problem of what's causing this situation to your family. Anyway, please keep subscribing to my channel. Thanks for listening to Dear CyberSuit Today. Please keep your questions and comments coming. And let us know what you think about the situation. Leave some comments under this video. What did you do when you had to deal with your teenager and you were a single parent? How did you handle it? Thanks everyone. Bye. I don't know how to face this world on my own.