Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, if he's not contacting you, do these five things to get him to chase you. There's five things you must do to get him to chase you. Already, really quickly, if the content here resonates with you and you've been interested in working with the dating coach to help you in your love life, then check out the link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you. Okay, he's not contacting you. One of the five things you can do to get him to chase you. All right, let's first stop differentiating what stage we're in in the dating and relationship process. Okay, so it's early in the dating process, he's not contacting you. Now let's be clear about something. Is the contact between the two of you a two lane street? In other words, are you making effort? Are you investing and is he investing? Okay, are you investing? Is he investing? If you're investing more than he's investing, then it could be most likely a misalignment. Okay, two people should equally invest. I like how I like my what my friend Matthew Hussie says. He calls invest and test, invest and test. What that means is you make a little bit investment in the relationship. Is he meeting you with investment? Does he make investment in the relationship? Do you make investment? Okay, so whether in the early stages, this is really tricky because for the most part we're strangers to one another. We are barely no one another. So it's always going to be chaotic in the beginning, but that investment should be like a two lane street. Okay, now let's progress the relationship forward. Okay, now the relationships entrenched. You spent at least a minimum of 100 hours of face to face time to really get to no one another. You probably have had sex at this point and you and he pulls away a little bit. He doesn't contact you. Okay? Now, what you've been told is you have to lean back to give him space to come to you, right? No, that's not what you do. You contact him. You reach out to him and you say what the fuck is going on? Now, let me be clear. You don't say it that way. You're just checking in with him. Okay? You're checking in with him because by checking in with him, you're checking to see if he wants to progress this relationship forward. Okay? Because ladies, the five ways to get a guy to chase you starts with you. How are you showing up relationship? Are you leading by example of emotional maturity, of emotional maturity because the five signs of emotional maturity as this follows, your actions match your words. When you show up consistent with your actions matching your words and a man is not meeting you at that space, then kick him to the fucking curb. Okay? Number one, number two, you take personal responsibility for your choices. You're not constantly in victim consciousness. You're in victor consciousness. In other words, if you're complaining about your past, if you're complaining about the relationship, if you're complaining about him, if you're complaining about work, if you're not in in victor consciousness, you're in victim consciousness. And I'm talking about consciousness, not legitimate being a victim of something. Okay? These are the types of things that get men to chase you. Now, while I'm not a big proponent of the word chase, I am a big proponent of the word invest in you. Invest in that two lanes street that I talked about. And number three, you know how to fight fair. In other words, it's not about being right. It's about listening to your partners needs, wants and desires, accepting their point of view. And they must be doing the same. Everything I'm sharing is, again, you're investing like this. He's meeting you in this vestment because it's not a chase. It's an investment of alignment. And the fourth piece, and this is so critically important. And I talk about this in my book, what the heck is self love anyway? What the heck is self love anyway? I talk chapter one is speak your true to and kindness. Empathy, empathy. Do you care about his feelings? But most importantly, do you care about your own feelings to express your feelings? Do you care one of my books? Speak your truth. Do it with kindness. These are how you, when you leave by example, this is how you get a guy to chase you. And by the way, dysfunctional men are going to run away, but that's okay because you don't want dysfunctional men. You want that high value guy who's going to show up emotionally mature as well. Because not, and I'm going to share the fifth piece in a second because the not contacting look could be a couple of things. We all need our own individual time to recharge our batteries. There's this almost ladies, a lot of you put a lot of pressure on men to incessantly contact you, incessantly reach out. So you know he cares about you. You've almost adopted a philosophy as I need you to love me, for me to feel good about myself. When you're in your sovereignty, when you're in your power, when you're in your self love, you don't need someone to love you for you to feel good about yourself. And that's my invitation for you. That's why I want you to do this work. I want you to read the books I recommend. Definitely read the book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. I reference this in a previous video. Read the book The Hoffman Process. So you can understand childhood wounds and traumas because the fifth way you're going to get a guy to chase you. And what I really mean is invest in you is to be transparent, to actually lean into your feelings and start expressing your feelings. Now, I'm not here to say you vomit all of your feelings, but you express the most important feelings that you're having in this relationship going back to because in my book there's another chapter. By the way, if you need links to my books that I recommend, check out the Jonathan Reckham books link below. If there's a chapter called Speak, not Speak Your Truth, do it with kindness. If it's sincere and from the heart, you can never say the wrong thing to the right person. You can never say the wrong thing to the right person. When you're leaning into the relationship with a high value guy, he might not contact you for a day. It didn't mean he disappeared. It didn't mean he didn't go. You just need to recharge your batteries. If you're in relationship with guys that are constantly pulling away and leaning back or they're dysfunctional, then that may not be the right relationship for you. Or maybe if you're choosing men like that, you need to look inward as I recommend in my book what the heck is self love anyway. Because here's the thing when you're in your sovereignty, when you're in your self worth, when you're in your empowered self esteem and you come at it from a compassionate heart-centered place, you're always going to attract a great relationship in your life. Alright, I hope you found value in this video. I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic job at the bear hug of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone or even a pet or even a teddy bear and give it a hug of love right now because we could all use a lot of love right now and hugs are a great source of love. Thanks so much. Bye bye now.