Hi, I'm Leon Luschen. Today I'm excited to bring you this once in a lifetime offer. Are you tired of your son or daughter applying themselves at school? Is it embarrassing for you to tell your neighbors how well your children are doing in their academic endeavors? Are you sick and tired of helping your children with their homework when all you want to do is cozy up on the couch with a nice glass of white symphodelle and catch up on the latest episode of the Bachelor. Now if your first thought was, oh my goodness Leon, that sounds just like me. Well then stay tuned because folks, I have something that could change your life. Introducing my brand new comprehensive e-course, how to meme like a dream or degenerates a guide to online popularity. Gone are the days of your child's tweets being received by crickets. With my course in an unwavering dedication to ruin the professional career of your son or daughter, the likes and the retweets will be lining up at the door for them. Now in module 1 I touch on the best practices to make sure your son or daughter knows exactly how to look like they are studying in class. When in reality they're just scrolling through their Twitter feed looking for a relevant tweet to reply to. Immediately is key here folks. In module 2 we talk about how to make an inanimate object or an animal or even some sort of illustration of an animal or a cartoon your Twitter persona because it makes swallowing the defeat of how pathetic your life is. That much more palatable. This also helps prevent the feeling of wanting to kill yourself after ever single tweet which is crucial in paramount to preserving the length of your child's Twitter career. Now in module 3 we start to get down to business. I go over how you can tweet a series of pictures with the punchline being an illustration of how shit your life is. I touch on how you can export your disabilities to gonna remaster following of sympathetic onlookers. And then I dive right into one of my personal favorite techniques mastering the art of being a selfish cut and stirring the pot intentionally for no other reason than to maximize your own Twitter impressions. With these first three modules your son or daughter will be 10 steps ahead than any other sad sorry son of a bitch that is dedicating their life to pursuing that fleeting moment of joy that you experience when your tweet actually bangs. But listen to this if you purchase this course in the next 12 hours I am personally going to include 40 plus more hours of free content that is going to make you a son or daughter virtually untouchable. You will learn how to grow beard to how the fact that you're massive pussy how to get away with saying the N word is a nerdy cancer survivor. How to use video game analogies to be more lackable is an over dramatic black game and how to scream into your phone while you're driving because your life is actually falling apart how to be racist to get views how to be fat and finally you will learn how to create absolutely no content at all and still grow a YouTube channel and I promise you much much more. While Leon that sounds incredible you may be thinking to yourself but I can't afford a course like this because my son or daughter is not an inlet celebrity yet in my life is shit I have no money what can I do well put your worries to rest my sweet parent because Leon is about to do something that he has never done before I am given away this 50 plus hour comprehensive course in exchange for the small price of one ziplock bag of your tears or disapproval over how bad your child's memes are. What was that Leon this course is basically free that's right free order now and you'll never have to miss another rerun a long order on TV because your child will no longer need help with their homework because they won't make it to class in the first place because they'll be too busy getting likes and retweets. So what are you waiting for? Pick up that phone and call right now and you just might have the chance to change the future in the life of your child and you may just change your own life in the meantime. Ok that's a wrap. Okie doke. Fucking Christ that was good. How do you think it came across genuine? Not really. No I know it's fucking bullshit but I'm trying to sell this is an info product Leon here I can't have people thinking I'm fucking on a second. You think this will actually sell? Yeah. No this thing needs the fucking bang dude you can meet. Why? Why? Why? Stop asking stupid questions probably because I have about $65,000 a game in that I haven't told my wife about if this fucking thing doesn't take off and we launch yeah Leon's gonna be fucking tell you what he's gonna not gonna be married for much longer after that. Oh Jesus. Two hours later. Two hours later.