That's enough. Oh, another question. One more card. Okay, we need rhythm others for this one. How common is postpartum depression in certain ring mothers? I'm sure it would be hard to know the difference between the whole heart of depression and just plain sadness and loss. Although I guess there might be a difference. Well, I don't think they would say anything at all. Just part of depression, you know, is just chemicals in the heart. You know, overwhelming the system and the person feels depressed and they usually cook right. But grief when you really get your child and you've lost your baby is a completely different ball game. You're in here into mourning and grief. That's unrecognized, that's untalked about. That is everlasting. It's two different things. We. Yes. Hey, you're in bereavement. I guess you can never agree with it. It's a bereavement. Exactly. Well, as you say, it's unrecognized, unrecognized grief. And that's, I mean, if you lose a child to death or something like that, everyone is there sympathizing and being there and supporting. When you lose a child to adoption, everybody just says, get on with your life. And I don't know how anybody who has had a child can say that. Really, I don't see how they do it. But they do. And they think that, you know, you're just being, should be able to just get over this and then show them up. What we don't do, for a while, in this country, anyway. But yes, it's a grief. When people say closure and things like that, I mean, it doesn't mean anything. When you lose a child, there is no closure. When you lose a mother, there is no closure. So it's this ongoing thing. And it comes through, it comes through up to us as therapists, as this unresolved grief. That's a very, it seems like a low, kind of a low-kind of depression. But, you know, we call everything depression these days. I mean, if you're sad more than a month after your husband dies, you know, I'll have to be present. Well, no, maybe she's just sad and weirdy. We need to be careful about putting labels on things. But, I just would add to that, you know, the break in the brain were wired for almost like a stuck freeze frame. When we have this kind of trauma, this kind of loss, I mean, it's different than losing a parent. That's different kind of, but when you've lost your baby or you've lost your mother at birth, there's a freezing, a freeze frame. And life may go on, you know, get married, you have your children, you age, but there's a part that's just there. And that's what we have to go back to and help that person do the grief, do the grieving, and begin to move forward. And just honor this piece, like you're talking about pieces. I totally do piece work. You know, there's a part of you that is stuck there and we need to embrace it and we need to care for it, right? Yeah, and learn how to manage it. I mean, there's a phrase, being adopted is not the condition. The condition is managing the psychological and emotional effects of having lived that experience. For both the adoptee and the biological parent, you know, we have to learn how to manage the grief because we're not going to get over it. I mean, I'm 42. I'm not so young. And I'm still dealing with it. And I'm like, okay, we have to accept this is not going to go away because I think that's an expectation too. Oh, I'm going to do my grief work and I'm going to be over this. No, it doesn't. That part of you exists. It's there and it's learning and it's learning how to grow another part that learns how to manage this part when it comes up. So what's this other part going to do? What's the managing? There are basic pork rooms or homotherapy. Things that sue the nurture and compassion for this part that is sad. That will re-experience the loss in a commercial. You know, I mean, I see commercials sometimes. I see my first followers. I see my followers. You know, and it's like, you wish you had that. So it's and allowing yourself to feel that. That's part of the work. It's called morning. The act of grieving is morning. You have to release and feel it with boundaries. You can't just do it at work. You know, okay, I'll cry about this when I'm in my safe environment. It's there. And we have to accept that. Accept it and embrace it and manage it. And I would add to that it's a complicated kind of arrangement that we have. It's more complex than other kinds of bereavement. And there's shame that goes along with it for adoptees and for birth parents. And shame, when you know, shame is such an internal feeling about yourself. It's not like guilty. I stole the candy bar from the store and I feel guilty about it. I feel back. Society says I shouldn't steal. But this is shame. It's inward. It's about ourself. I remember early on in my getting ready to reunite. As I did some work, I went to a bookstore to ask for a book. I've written many back then on adoption. And I said very quietly, the name of the book to the clerk. And he sort of bellowed. It felt like bellowed out. Oh, so adoption. And I just like mortified like, oh my gosh, everybody in here knows that I'm an adoptee. Every single person knows. And I had this terrible shame about it. In birth, months carry that shame. Coming out of shame is a huge piece of the work. Huge piece of the work. Because once we come out of shame, then I can embrace that little girl that felt rejected, that felt alone in the world that was sad. I can embrace her. I can take care of her. I don't have to just, you know, get away from her. I can say thank you for birth moms. So, everybody wants to.