Music Everybody has a triangulation these days, so they've lost nothing in some respects by coming to the first mediation session. Because it's now a requirement before you can even issue an application, you've ticked a box by coming. And the advantage of it is that, of course, until you try it, you don't know how it's going to work for you. But a lot of clients actually find it more beneficial than they ever thought they would. So they come along to the first mediation session, almost under duress because they've told their happened to. And then they come along and they actually think, well, actually that was more beneficial when we were able to talk around all different issues in a way that I didn't think we ever would. And I think it is a conversation, really, as mediation. It's a conversation between your former partner or your former wife who has the care of your children. And it's really important to open up a dialogue with that person, not necessarily just from the mediation process, but, of course, for the long term benefit for the children anyway. So if you can start to air some of the issues and to overcome those issues in what is really effectively supposed to be a safe environment, allowing you to talk about what you want to talk about without being fearful of it coming back to sort of be used against you in court proceedings and things. It then, sometimes we establish it's trust, and it's often trust that's been broken down when a relationship ends. So if you can start to build on that trust, then it's sort of establishes a good foundation for where you can be in the future. So you can start to have that dialogue, you can start to have that relationship building or mending to the sake of your children. And that's something you don't ever go to court, because by the time you start to become a court process, it's accusations of lying backwards and backwards. You never really get to sit down and talk with a person and discuss what the real issues are or what concerns are. You're asked very specific questions, and it doesn't really give you that ability to talk to the other person as you would if you were still in a relationship with them. Many people comment to see me and say at the outset, oh well, the point is my former partner won't attend or my former wife won't attend. And it's amazing actually that the other person then is willing to come to mediation and is willing to sit down and talk it through. So sometimes there's an immediate misconception that the other person simply won't come to something or won't come and talk about the children or won't come and talk about finances. So if you can overcome that, partly these days you have to attend mediation anyway. So again, you've got nothing by coming and talking about mediation and finding out about it. And then inviting the other person to come along to something similar and then with the hope that you will have a full-on mediation session. And I think many people do want to resolve issues. And there's usually something which is stopping them from being able to talk to the other party. I have one mediation case where the chap had suffered a long term illness. He was diagnosed with being quite poorly. And the lady, all she wanted really, it was a mediation about searching out the house and everything else. And it was a little stumbling block. They just couldn't move it forward. And what it turned out to be was that all she wanted him to do was to say sorry and to acknowledge that, although he was the one diagnosed with having had a illness. It had a direct impact on the rest of the family as well. And her real stumbling block and her real, you know, the reason why she was so bloomed and being able to deal with the finances is because he had no point having acknowledged that they had suffered too. And when it came out of mediation that really she wanted him to say sorry and he acknowledged that he hadn't really thought about it from the family's point of view. And he from his own point of view put his head in his hands and said I'm so sorry. As soon as the article has worked, we're still talking about the finances. So often the reason why somebody doesn't want to talk about the issues, there is something that's preventing them. And if you can get to the heart of that and if you can deal with that issue, then other things just all into place.