And that's a new thing for you going to therapy? I had gone, but never really with the intention of fixing anything that brand-deak. Like as soon as they scratched the surface, I was like, ah, you're annoying. You know, everyone annoys me. So that's a perfect excuse. Hey everybody, I am so excited to bring you all the brand new season of Pretty Big Deal. And as you can see, this season looks a little bit different from the past seasons. Because of the ongoing pandemic, I'll be talking to my guests through Zoom instead of in person. But don't you worry because we will still bring you amazing conversations and the story behind everybody's Pretty Big Deal moment. Stay healthy and happy and enjoy the episode. It's called Tropical vibes by Ashley Graham and Revlon and Katie is a dedicated makeup artist and always uses it on me. Let's go time, ladies and gentlemen. Go time. Cue the music. As always, this episode is sponsored by my go-to for everything makeup Revlon. Today, I'm talking to the hilarious Chelsea Hamler. She's a TV host and actress, comedian. She's also one of the funniest people that I know. Welcome. Chelsea Ham. Okay, so very exciting tomorrow, you have your HBO Max special coming out called Evolution. But it's really interesting because, girl, I heard you say that you had a lot of fear walking into this. Like you didn't even know if you wanted anybody to hear from you, see you again. What's up with that? I think I went through a really like, you know, once I left my show and then my Netflix show, like I just, I was kind of at a point where I didn't know what I wanted to put out. You know what I mean? What I wanted to contribute. I've kept feeling like I was offered all these opportunities with very little thought and why. And I kind of had some guilt about it and some confusion about it, you know, and then discovering my own, you know, my own white privilege. That combined with therapy really opened my eyes to the world that I'm in and what am I going to do moving forward? And that's a new thing for you going to therapy? Well, I mean, you know, I used to go like I had gone, but never really with the intention of fixing anything that ran deep, you know, like as soon as they scratched the surface, I was like, ah, you're annoying, you know, everyone annoys me. So that's a perfect excuse of like, you're de-stue annoying. She's too annoying. She asked too many questions. It's like, well, she's a f*** therapist. But, you know, I was just happened to be in the right time. Right. And the right place to be able to actually get real. And believe me, for the first, you know, probably six or seven sessions, I couldn't even like, you know, any chit closeness we got to me, you know, my eyes watering or getting emotional, I would literally like do key bill exercises. I would be sitting there like, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry in front of this man. Do not let this man see you vulnerable. Do not. And so he had to like, un-pick that. And every time he got closed, you know, I was like, no, no, my body just shut down. I go, you can't cry, I can't cry until eventually you just, you know, there's not running out of your nose like for eight sessions in a row. I feel like I just kind of exhaled a little bit because I just started therapy and quarantine for the first time ever. And it was a lot of realizations that I had as well. I think that first of all, everybody kind of talks about therapy as like, like a fashion statement. Oh, yeah, I take therapy also. But when you actually go into it, like how you said, like you actually allowed the therapy to work, that's when it's most effective. And I kept saying, I'm fine, I'm good, everything's okay. And I kept putting a wall up because mispositivity over here. When everything wasn't fine, everything wasn't okay. And I had to succumb to the fact that there were issues in my life that I had to hit and face head on. Right. And also it's say, you know, when you're going to therapy, you're actively searching for discomfort. Like there was, you know, eight weeks where every time I went, I knew that I was going to spend an hour and a half bawling in front of somebody. So driving to that excursion, knowing what your next hour and a half is going to be like and saying yes to it. So it's so liberating, you know, to learn about vulnerability, to know that vulnerability is strength, not weakness. Like it releases it because when you resist something, then it persists. Yes. And our thoughts can get very negative. And it's our, it's our responsibility to keep it up. Keep our vibrations high, up, positive. You know, I've been in a bad way these last. I came home from like a two month vacation. I was back east filming my special and then I just was back east because COVID was better there. And I was so sick of being in LA because it was getting so out of control here. And I came back and my decks had been painted black. My entire house, my decks have been painted black. And I've done way too much therapy to be upset about decks. But I, I mean, at my assistant, I mean, I must have screamed at him for 30 minutes and I lost my s***. And that was the first time I've lost my s***, you know, like really since I've gone to therapy. And I was so mad at myself. I was so disappointed at myself and I was so down for like two weeks because I'm like, how could you do that? How could you lose your cool? It's just decks. It's money. It's nothing, you know, like this isn't something to be upset about. And the process of like berating myself about my behavior becomes a cycle of negativity. And then you're feeling bad about yourself. And then you really can't snap out of it because you're in a pity party. And you have to like really pull yourself out of those negative thoughts into two beds. What are the tools that your therapist gave you that you use now? So like when you went into that two week banter with yourself, like how did you get yourself out of that? Well, I did get stuck for a while. My sister called me the day she was you've been in a boot bad mood since you got home. And I was like, well, have you seen my decks? And she said, she's like, she goes, you need to go to Dan. I was like, well, Dan's annoying me right now. My therapist. And she's like, I go, everyone's annoying me right now. And she goes, well, this is not, you know, you've been doing so well for like three or four years. Like, this is old Chelsea. And I said, yeah, I know. I'm aware of some of them, but there's an election happening. We're in a pandemic that is interminable. I think it's a pretty good time to be in a bad mood. And my sister said, we'll just snap out of it. And I said, you snap out of it. Can't just snap out of it. But then I woke up and I was like, you better. So the tools are to not be small. You know, I always write that I have that written down. Don't be small. Like, negativity is always small. Gossiping is small, you know, it's what was common denominator of everything. So when I get down, you know, too low, I just remember that I'm being small, you know, and that I'm not being generous of spirit. To hear the whole conversation, make sure you listen to pretty big deal, wherever you listen to podcasts. I got an I'm a gold now. And my life is very chaotic and on the go. So I found this product that I am obsessed with. And it's called Flamingo. This literally takes all of maybe two minutes and I'm fully hydrated. If you want moisturized, hydrated skin, make sure you go to Flamingo. They've got all the things. You'll love it all and make sure you tell them that I sent you. I have to say that was such an amazing conversation with Chelsea. Again, thank you for sharing your complete evolution. And you can also go watch evolution now live on HBO Max. you