Do you have that one person that gives you butterflies when you speak to them and leaves you feeling the flutters after being around them just for a little while? You know you like them for some reason, but you can't exactly figure out if they feel the same way. You think, do they keep smiling at me to be friendly or because there's something more? Are they laughing at my jokes just to be nice or because they genuinely think I'm funny? Are they hanging out with me for fun or because they want to get closer? Making new relationships is a challenging task in itself. But having to figure out if this person likes you back can be exhausting when they're giving you mixed signals. Before you get carried away with your feelings for this person, let's slow down for a second and think about the possibilities. Sure, it may seem like they're having a good time with you, but one of their outward happiness is coming from somewhere or someone else. Let's explore some signs that someone is in love, but not with you. Excuses. Scenario 1. You two may have your moments of fun hanging out, but then when you try to make plans with them again, they keep coming up with an excuse for something else they got going on. Friday night comes around, you're scrolling through social media and BAM. There they are, in their cute outfit posting selfies and story updates with their friends. Hashtag Friday vibes. More like Peshdaq sad vibes. And that's if they even tried to make an excuse to avoid making a fill left out. You give it a fair shot by asking if they want to hang out a few times, but they bring up plans they have with other people. Or a suspiciously special other person. If it seems like this person is going out of their way to hang out with others and not so much with you, it's likely that they don't feel the same way. Think about it. When you're attracted to someone, aren't you willing to put in the effort to strengthen your connection with them? So why wouldn't they do the same if they feel the same way? As the Oth University explains, according to licensed psychologists Dr. Rachel Needle, specific chemical substances such as oxytocin, benethylamine, and dopamine have been found to play a role in human experiences and behaviors that are associated with love. They make us alert, excited, and wanting to bond. The bottom line is if they don't seem alert, excited, and well, wanting to really bond with you in particular, they're probably not that into you. One's I did. So maybe your conversations can go on for hours and even days through text. They seem like a great listener and never cutting you off ready to hear you out. Except these listening skills are starting to get suspiciously good. They rarely add anything of their own to your conversations, and it's now starting to feel like it's you doing all the talking. But this doesn't make any sense, you think to yourself. I've seen them speaking for a long while with their friends. Tell you what. It's not you. It's totally them. Healthline explains, times spent with loved ones should re-energize and fulfill you more often than not. Feeling lonely, empty, or even dissatisfied afterward can suggest an unbalanced relationship. If they don't seem like they're having a particularly special time with you, but seem to be really engaged in conversations with someone else, it's time to stop chasing after this person, who may not be as interested as you hoped. Redcrumbing. If they do seem to be actively engaged and attentive when spending time with you, do their responses seem effortlessly responsive, like they're genuinely there for you and with you. Or do they seem calculated? If they're still keeping in touch, but not as much as you hoped they would, then they might even be breadcrumbing you. Breadcrumbing is a relatively new dating technique that cosmopolitan describes as when they send you sporadic messages, slide into your DMs here and there, or throw you a like on Instagram, just frequently enough so you don't lose interest. But not too much so the relationship actually moves forward. This might be a card they pull when they have their eyes on someone else, but need a backup in case their first love doesn't really turn out as hoped. The New York Times explains that this could be used as a way of keeping a dating prospect on hold. If they seem like they like you but don't like you like you, then they probably don't really like you after all. In difference. In addition to their behaviors, our actions seem enforced. It might be helpful to reflect on this person's body language during your interactions with them. Body language researcher Albert Mrabian, who first broke down the components of face-to-face conversation, found that 55% of human communication is nonverbal. 38 is vocal, and a remarkably small, 7% is actually the words we speak. Body language can have an incredible impact on how we convey and interpret messages. It's part of 90% of nonverbal communication. If they seem to be verbally responding to what you're saying to them, but it still feels like something is off, then they're probably not fully in the moment. According to international consultant, speaker, host, and best-selling author Ali Craig, some observable body language indicators of questionable interactions can include lack of eye contact, pointing feet away from you, pointing their torso away from you, and surprisingly enough, holding eye contact for too long. Body language expert and author, Stephen Kiel, explains this last indicator as a common sign of dislike, sharing that excessive eye contact can be a way to not have others find out how a person truly feels about them. Kiel says, since we know looking away will be interpreted as rude, people overcompensate by making too much eye contact, to ensure they aren't perceived as inhospitable. If you don't feel the same energy, they seem to typically have with that other person or people they're probably not as interested. Personal therapist. It can be a cute thing to have someone come to you for advice. Like, oh, they value what I think about something. But this turns from cute to concerning when that seems to be all they come to you for. If every interaction you have with this person you're crushing on seems to feel like a counseling session to help them manage their personal life problems, especially when you're not as involved or welcome in their personal lives, and they're just hanging on because they need someone as a resource for venting and solution seeking. If this is especially about their relations with others, then that's a huge hint that their priorities are completely different. As Healthline explains, without equality and mutual respect, relationships can easily become unbalanced and insecure. A healthy relationship requires active participation and equal efforts from both sides to reciprocate how much you care for each other. If you're starting to feel like you're doing all the caring, then it's not worth pursuing someone who's not doing the same for you. Always preoccupied. A huge sign that someone is not interested in you, but is in love with someone else, is when they seem to constantly have something or someone else on their mind. You're always the one initiating conversations, reaching out to them feels more like a chore, and their texts start feeling more like stale replies rather than ways to actively engage with you. When you do get a hold of them, there seems to be a barrier between the two of you which may feel like unspoken boundaries. They have to put up to keep you at a distance. It's normal and important to have boundaries, but it's more important for someone to communicate their concerns or feelings within a relationship so both parties know how to move forward. If you're a crush still spends time with you but isn't putting in the same energy as you are, or seems to be impartial with you but significantly more energetic with someone else, then they probably don't have intentions of taking this beyond just casual interactions. Whether this is just a casual crush or someone you wish you could connect with on a deeper level, know that you deserve the best when it comes to being loved and cared for. It's not used, it's the problem. Because it takes two. Getting into a relationship takes a lot of time and effort, and it's only reasonable to set your expectations high when pursuing someone to experience life with, no matter what stage you're at and finding that special someone. And just as a reminder, everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way and gets to choose whether they want to pursue romantic love or enjoy their own company. We hope you found this video helpful, and if you have suggestions for any other mental health topics you would like for us to cover, comment down below. Thank you so much for watching, and remember, you matter.