Hey everybody, I'm Kelly, Jed, Ali, and these are your headlines for the day. Lindsay Lohan, and Dean Lohan? Yeah. Is that how you say their news? Yeah. Oh my god. I have such problems with names. Okay, they both called 911 and they were like drunk and fighting or something. I don't know. Yeah. What were they doing? Eating classy bitches. Oh yeah. The classy bitches. So two Americans went the Nobel Prize in chemistry. So I had to make notes here to see exactly what happened. So they won because they were revealing protein receptors that tell cells what is going on in around the human body. Wow, that's so interesting. So smart of me, right? Yes. New York Jets owner Woody Johnson was questioned about Tim Tebow's virginity. Woo-hoo. Weird. I would ask if he was virgin too. I've been like, so do you know his back. He's a football player. No, the answer is no. Aww. Okay, so this brain eating disease actually killed like 10 people because they were like amoeba's and like stuff and like Pakistan. What's an amoeba? It looks like it looks like. It looks like it looks like it looks like it looks like it looks like it. It's like a it's like a it's like a it's like a a cell that's like bad. Yeah, an amoeba. It calls up in your brain and kills you. So this is appropriate that I'm saying this. Rocky Mountain Oyster's Stout is a beer with testicles not just any testicles but bull testicles. Delightful. You're going to taste that? Fuck now. She'd be a first in line. Weston versus resort CEO, threatened to fire employees if Obama is reelected. He said that if it like the attack, he couldn't handle any more tax hikes or anything. So he'd be forced to fire everybody and go live in the Bahamas. That's like a really big accusation just saying. Taylor Swift. I just said some really good things about Taylor Swift yesterday. She's like I thought she was sexy and nobody agreed with me. We thought she was cute and sweet. That's terrible. Yeah. So anyway, she's allegedly cheating on her boyfriend Connor Kennedy with his cousin Patrick Schwarzenegger. But this was from Fred's home. And you never know if that's true or not. Yeah, we don't know if this is true. Also, it's the source said that it happened at a family event. Yeah. Like all the family in the shoes making out with him. We love her. We'll never ever get back together. So struggling at cattle farmers are feeding their cows candy. No, hold on. I took notes on what kind of candy. They're feeding them chocolate bars, gummy worms, ice cream sprinkles. That sounds fun. And marshmallows. Why? Because they can't afford real cow feed. So they're feeding them candy instead, like for reals. That's going to be bad for us. That's going to be bad for humans that eat cows because then you're eating like a cow that has like no nutritional value. How come cows can you chocolate the dogs can't? I don't get that. If they get the candy after Halloween, they could save a lot of money. That's true. Bread pit would rather be a producer than an actor. So there's that. I mean, I want to be behind the scene. Me too, but I'm on camera. One of the pussy riot act members is out of jail. Yeah, pussy riot. Got busted out. So this NFL actor by the name of like Alex Kararistais, I really don't know who he is, what he did, what happened, but it was like big news. Shroudies like back there behind the camera shaking her head and like putting her head on her forehead like this. But I don't even know who that person was either. Football people. Oh well. NYC staffers stage a walk out. They do. Why? I read it. Do I remember? Oh. Contract differences. They want more stuff. Then they walked out. The New York Times people, right? Like they went from New York City or whatever. I want to say it was New York Times. I read it. Yeah, it was the magazine from New York City. It was on the magazine. New York's magazine? No, New York Times, New York's newspaper. I'm going to need some notes on this. I have it. New York travel. It was in the story. Some people in New York got pissed. That's what happened, right? Pretty much. I'm pretty here first. People are pissed. The world is enraged over 14-year-old blogger and activist that was shot by the Taliban. That's really sad. She was really cool. But she's alive. She's alive. She's recouping. They got the bullet out. That's what happens when you're a blogger. Sometimes. I think it's awesome that she's so young and able to, you know, I used to get my tires slashed and people write stuff on my car. But I've never been shot. That was when you were fighting crime, like for Reels, gangster crime. She was fighting crime. On the blog. Yeah, she is. So Lance Armstrong's drug tests are being publicized, like thousands of documents are coming out and showing how he was with drugs. I think they should just make this all go away. I like him. I would like to know if he's on drugs. Apparently a lot of people do. Jennifer Garner is in Washington, D.C. today to save the children. Which is cool. She likes children. That's the angel sound. She was nice. Oh my God. I don't understand this one. It was not in my email that I know of. I don't know. I didn't see a link on this. But Beyonce drops out of Clint Eastwood's a star's born. What? Beyonce drops out of Clint Eastwood's a star's born remake. So a star's born is a movie. Yeah, but do you think she dropped out? She's Democrat and Clint Eastwood is a Republican. Oh, Beyonce rolls in the White House. Oh, so today's national bring your teddy bear to work day. So I brought my teddy bear. Thanks for having me. I could have brought mine. Jen could have brought his. Well, then I'm the winner. You attention more. No. Bye. Happy Wednesday. Right? Make sure you bring a lot of applause. Happy Wednesday. Bye.