Hi, it's me, Poncho, Javier Contreras, and I just wanted to make a video to wish everyone a happy birthday, Mexico. You're looking good, Mexico, for being like less than 300 years old. You don't look year over 169. Today's Cinco de Mayo, which for Spanish speakers means May the 5th or 5th of May. To celebrate this fantastic Mexican holiday, you must do the following. Step 1. Purchase a small jar of mayonnaise from your locally organic farm-based grown retailer store. Step 2. Place the mayonnaise in a sink, and then step 3. Take a picture of the mayonnaise. Upload it on Instagram for all your friends to see. And that's basically how you celebrate today. I got all of my festive Cinco de Mayo things, such as a skull with things on it. Because you know us Mexicans, shirt-dula bones, set oh no, sir. That's Spanish for to be or not to be. I even got me my Poncho via figurine. For those of you who don't know who Poncho v is, he's my dad. I also have this traditional Mexican candle with Emilio Zapata on it. He basically helped the Mexicans fight the Americans for Mexico. Now I'm going to do an actual history of what really went down on Cinco de Mayo and why we still talk about it. But first, you have to celebrate by doing what you do best on Cinco de Mayo. This right here is called modelo, and it's a special servesta imported directly from Mexico. It tastes just like drinking alone on a Tuesday morning. I also have a bottle of Mexico's biggest import, I guess, tequila from El Himador. Remember kids, liquor before beer. You're in the clear. Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Remember kids don't drink and drive, because it'll kill your brain cells. Okay, so on the internet people are doing this thing or they get drunk and they talk about the history of things, so I'm going to do that. So once upon a time, the French people were like, hey, fuck Mexico, let's make the meat, cheese, and wine and stuff. Napoleon was pulling the strings back then because he had an Napoleon complex and he wanted to rule the entire world. This was like in the 1800s when you can do that. If a country didn't have a flag, you just show up. And you put a flag in their land and you'd be like, hey, this is mine now. And they would just give it to you, I guess. The French were also notorious at the time for murdering their whole royal family, which I think the UK should do. No, I shouldn't say that. Then the Mexicans are all like, fuck you French people. The Spanish already fucked up our entire culture by making us Catholic and feel guilty about everything. So like on May 5th of 1864, 62, the French army which had like 6,000 dudes in it, like fought against the Mexicans and they only had 2,000 dudes, but the Mexicans won using... I could read the Wikipedia article, but I'm just doing it by memory. So anyways, the Mexicans beat the French and the French are like, fuck, and like the Mexicans are like, yeah, we won. And now we celebrate it by wearing hats, drinking things, eating tacos, appropriating Mexican culture, going to Chipotle, and that's it. Mexico, you're such a beautiful country. I just want to give you a most smooth. But that's not the reason why I made this video. Hashtag Familia. I made a short track today that celebrates both Mexican culture and electronic dance music culture. And I put them together so I hope y'all enjoy it. Thank you for watching my video all the way through. Happy Sync of the Mayo. And if you don't celebrate it, then, uh, okay, I'm gonna go eat tacos now. Bye.