It's another day. The first of a new day. Today everything changes. It was time for me to cast my line out and try and catch the biggest fish in the large format ocean, 8x10. This morning feels different. I wake up and the first thing I see is my dog, Baxter, staring at me. What the f*** is he looking at? Perhaps it's an omen and I'm walking down a path I can't return from. But it's too late. It always has been and always will be too late. I'll have to accept the danger of shooting large format and just push on. That morning I took a minute to reflect on my journey and why I might want to pursue a slower and more technical avenue. I've been shooting film for five years now and in my analysis I realized 35mm film is just a gateway drug to other formats. I'm so deep in the game now that I've been heavily using medium format for a while. So the next logical step is to get addicted to one of the most expensive drugs there is. Large format. I mean how hard could it really be to shoot? It's only 52 times the resolution of 35mm and I still f*** that up a lot. The 8x10 camera brings about a myriad of other challenges not present on most smaller formats. Time to piss or get off the pot. I load the film. It's here that I face my first hurdle. Do I shoot black and white or collar? I believe John McLean had a similar dilemma in the hit film, Live Free or Die Hard, where he had to choose to either Live Free or Die Hard. The decision could very much so cost me. The fog lifted and it became clear. Codec color plus 200. Damn it they don't make that for large format. Okay, expired Fuji NPS is fine. And just like the faint gust of wind that's produced by the toilet water when you drop a huge log, I hastily went forth loading the sheet film. For ordination it waits me. A lot of people ask me if I'm a spiritual man. I give pause to think about it on a deeper level and then I have a response slowly. There's only one god I fear. He walks among us. His name is Ben, writer, die, horn. Unfolding this camera felt like I was unfolding my destiny. Things are moving too fast. The whirlwind of possibility is too strong. I feel nervous for the last time. My palms are sweaty and my knees weak. My arms were heavy because last night ate some of my mom's spaghetti that she used zoodles for and I got food poisoning so I was throwing up all night and I don't really think it's out of my system completely. That's why I'm sweaty right now. So I guess really I'm not that nervous. Also f*** zoodles. When I put the dark cloth over my head I feel like I enter another world. My own world and it's just as dark as the darkness inside of me. I'm scared now. My first exposure only moments away and I can feel the zoodles in my body searching for the nearest exit. It's time. Click. I black out. Consciousness soon becomes a distant memory as my ascended being floats through the endless void. Wait, a familiar smell? Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies straight out of the oven. Is this what large format feels like? Something isn't right though. I think someone got the recipe wrong. It smells a little off. Uh oh. I materialized back into my physical body and reality slaps me sober. Oh yeah, I was pissed drunk when I did this. Did I mention that? I guess it's not that important. I reinsert the dark slide and remove the film holder. Monica is yelling at me about something. What is Monica yelling about? Oh that makes sense. Apparently I sh** my pants when I blacked out. All I knew was I had to go again. The burning sensation of large format was coursing through my veins, but mostly my ass for some reason. And I needed another hit. Back in the office, I eagerly await my final verdict. The film is back from the lab and I'm seeing it for the very first time. It's beautiful, like holding a child that was just born. It's not crying. I'm not filled with regret and I'm not going to lose 30 hours of sleep next week. Time to scan. The resolution is insane. The Epson V700 takes 20 minutes, but I can't think about anything else. Here it is. My first 8x10 shot. The chariots of destiny have finally arrived. I eagerly await my next 8x10 outing.