I cannot even speak the name of the vampire that organized that monstrosity. I don't give a fuck. His name was Mike. Though quite adept at dissolving and digesting sugary suites, SCP-999 hits a roadblock when given something more substantial, like my known as Ravioli recipe. Whether this is a physical limitation or because it deems it to be, quote, yucky, has yet to be discerned, although it better be the former. Dr. Bright addressed a class of second year cadets on the ethics committee track. He described to the SCP-956 a pinata which paralyzes children and then breaks them open spawning anomalous candy seemingly in revenge for its fallen pinata brethren. He then described for them SCP-1459 an anomalous claw machine that can spawn your favorite kind of puppy from thin air. The wind condition of which is you think of a way that the machine can murder the puppy that it hasn't before, and if you do so within 15 seconds, it does that action and then gives you a cookie. The lost condition of which is you get no cookie and the claw machine pummels the puppy to death. He then posts to them the moral quandary if you could only stop testing on one of these projects which one would you pick. Meaning that even if they got on the ethics committee, neither of these projects would be stopped. There were tears, resignations, and now another thing is added to the things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do with the foundation list. Let's see, what's this, shall? Why the fuck would that happen? It's a crystalline. You know, we were kind of waffling on what kind of apocalypse it was going to be, but we took a vote and the eyes have it. That's just a little end of the world humor for you. Go ahead, commence the reality reset. We'll see you in the next one. Maybe. What the? Well, to quote a former collaborator, what you think you saw you did not see. Now please, drink this. I'm a prophet. What? Profit, prophet! My prophesy, I have sight, I see. You said how I got your address. Don't even worry about it, bro. You cannot deny that you trespass on my tower almost every day. You cannot deny these nuts. Forget everything you know. As you can see, I'm not wearing my costume, so I'm not my late-hunt right now on me. And you please stop tagging Dr. Sherman in my videos. He's really not going to respond because I swear way too much. You fucking kidding me? Okay, lights out. Aww. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that they scheduled a hug test or that it was successful. And now we've got to contain that person because they're clearly anomalous. Question. Does the SAP Foundation pay taxes? This all started when Nikhil Clayton made a hilarious video about the IRS attempting to tax SCP-30008 the Infinite Ikea. And it got me thinking because, contrary to what a lot of people believe, the Foundation is not a government organization. We are private and we operate worldwide. We've worked both with and against numerous anomalous organizations led by governments, such as the FBI's Unusual Incident Unit and the UN's Global Cult Coalition. But it's not a friendly relationship by any means. There's a lot of treaties and going behind each other's back. The UIU has documentation that says, if the Foundation shows up to the scene of something that's happening, let them take over because they have more knowledge and are better funded than we are. I posed the question over on Twitter and there were a lot of interesting responses to comb through. Including from the Foundation itself, which, yeah, I get that. What do you think? Does the Foundation pay its taxes or do we have some work around? Discuss it in the comments. Jotoro! Jisama-do! Diyu! Take your hands. Loop them like that. Three middle fingers! Well, that's an anomalous AF. You're going in the box, mate. That's Lady Pinto Beane. I'd advise not getting killed by her. Her sword traps the souls of its victims. Godspeed, agent. Reporting in from the PlayStation campus, but I can't seem to find the... What? Oh, sweet three, four, three. Oh, wow. I mean, uh, well, wait, hang on. I forgot what I was doing here. I forgot what I was doing. Everybody hold on. That didn't count. That was nothing. I know it has to be contained, but how an eye, a professional with multiple PhDs, supposed to tell a mobile task force that they're on route to contain exorcist macaroni. Hello. Gallifrey High Command. This is the doctor's suite. Hello. Also, the doctor. Can you hear me? Also, the doctor. Standing ready. Dear God, three of them. All my worst nightmares at once. What? What the? Oh! Oh no, you do not recognize the bodies in the... Wait. Oh, this is just Florida. You know the motto, we secure, contain, protect. We don't destroy, destroy, destroy. So why is everyone talking about smashing the anomalies? Wait, what? Who's that? This briefing is meant only for mature audiences, so if you're one of our younger cadets, go spend 10 minutes with SCP-999 and I'll see you in the next video. SCP-297 is going viral right now, and yes, it is that. But there's so much more to it. You gotta read past the first line in the description. Did you even catch the part where it's powered by a micronized nuclear reactor? Or how its uppermost power level is titled Self-Unalive and it will completely powder a 1 meter concrete cube in 10 seconds? Or how we discovered it in the third sub-level parking basement of a 30 story apartment building because it had board its way through 30 floors and two parking garage basements before somebody turned it off, at the top of which was, you guessed it, an apartment containing the liquefied remains of a human being. You gotta read the whole articles, gang, you're missing the wildest stuff. You said how I got your address? Yes, Reggie, I've moved offices three times. Now in the Scarlet King's jocks draft, you keep finding me! Don't you worry about it, Ron. It's gonna hurt? Nope, I won't feel a thing. And you guys say I'm not fun, but seriously, this will be extremely painful. And they're both me. Use test 1 for the baseline. Test 2? Oh! Alright, test 3. Blah, get a new D-Class for test 4. Transformation, alright, that's new. Move on to test 5. You stop. What's happening to him? Who said that? Oh, where's he going? SCP-5486 has infected the lab. Lock it down and move. This is the whole that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my. What? It's the same hallway over and over again. It's boring. I thought we were like the Async guys' hand of the back rooms anyways. Look, are you ready around this corner? Another hallway, ta-da! Oh, wait, there was someone. Yes, finally some action. What are you? Are you lying on the ground? Are you taking a nap? Where do you get these D-Class from? Prison, right. Oh, a cameo from Lights are off. Welcome to the show. Are there sharks in the back rooms? And now for the team of everybody else for Dr. Rexus Buchanan, Dr. Theron Sherman. And we're here at the Game Developers Conference that's GDC 2022 because we heard there's something anomalous and we're going to put it in a box. The anomaly could be anything. It could be a VR game that sucks you in or a sentient AI or a god trapped in a video game. Have you seen anything weird around here? I just worked here. So you remember the secret password? We didn't decide on a secret password. Yes, we did decide on a secret password. We didn't decide on a secret password. I mentioned it to you. I sent it in. What is your favorite console and why is it the Xbox? Secure. Contain. Protect. Let's go! There's nothing actually anomalous here. I just want to use the corporate card. Go to GDC. Don't sell direct degrees. Thank you for listening. Site 42 studios and its staff are funded by viewers like you. Please become a patron or visit our merch store at the link in our bio to support our work. Secure. Contain. Protect. Thank you. Thank you.