This is different. Salt your water, twist and drop your pasta. Make sure they're all drowning and cook this one minute shy from Al dente. Onion, garlic, ham, a lot of bacon. Over low heat, render your bacon. Mmm, set this aside and leave the oil. Butter, onions, the garlic, mushrooms. Yes, I know my pouch, what a revelation. I'm just going to add some bacon. But you still get all the nutrients you want from mushrooms. Salt your mushrooms. Hey! Hey! Add the ham, bro, wise you made, and in goes evaporated milk. Season with salt and pepper. When it's simmering, turn the heat to low and pour in all-purpose cream. You don't want to cook this too much, else the cream will split, so almost immediately drop your pasta.