Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the first presidential debate of 2012 between our savior, the Messiah, our President, Barack Obama and his Republican challenger, Republican Herman Kane, the Republican. I am your moderator, Rachel Madno. Mr. President, let me begin with you. As you know, all Republicans want all poor, sick and old people to die. Yet you were able to pass healthcare reform which will end all disease and suffering and not cost a penny. Why do you think it is still controversial? You have 10 minutes. Thank you Rachel. As I told my friends at the SCIU, I don't think we'll be able to eliminate employer coverage immediately. There is going to be potentially some transition process. Brilliant. Mr. Kane, do you have the typically vapid Republican response? You have 10 seconds. You know the arrogance of this administration and the 111th Congress went beyond shoving legislation down our throats that we need to call healthcare deformed legislation. But they went so far as to not only shove legislation down our throats we need but legislation we did not want. Mr. President, when you were nominated in 2008, the SCIU stopped rising, the air began to clear and the earth began to heal itself. Why do you think idiots like pizza boy over here are against your wonderful plans? Power plants are going to have to adjust how they generate power and they'll pass the cost to consumers. Under my plan electricity rates wouldn't necessarily skyrocket. Mr. Kane, your response. Imagine the number of business people across this country, especially small to medium-sized business people who are reluctant to expand their businesses, which would create more jobs because of the uncertainty hanging over this economy and the lack of leadership in the White House. Imagine what would happen if we were able to unleash before the economic potential of this country. Mr. President, would you explain to the ignorant people of America how they would be better off if the government took more of their money? Take all the time you want. I do think at some point you've made enough money. When you spread the wealth around it's good for everybody. I would look at raising the capital gains tax for the purposes of fairness. Wow. Mr. President you are incredible. Mr. Kane. You're listening to our president. Do you even want to bother giving an answer? Stupid people are ruined in America. The only way to fix our messed up tax code is to throw it out and put in a whole new system called the FALTACS. And now each of the Kang dates will make their closing statements. Mr. President. The question I think that we have to ask ourselves is, thank you President Obama. Mr. Kane. Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We don't pass it on to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected. But one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our grandchildren what the United States used to be like when men were free. I don't want to have that conversation with my grandkids. And I don't think you want to have that conversation with your grandkids.