Three men had a very late night drinking Guinness. They left in the early morning hours and each went to their home. The next day they all met for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before. The first guy claims that he was the drunkest, saying, I drove straight home and walk it into the house. As soon as I got through the door I blew chunks. The second guy said, you think that was drunk? Hell. I got into my car and wrapped it around the first tree I saw. And I don't even have insurance. The third guy proclaimed, damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home I got into a big fight with my wife, knocked a candle over and burned the whole house down. The room was silent for a moment. Then the first guy spoke out again. Listen guys, I don't think you understand. This is my dog. Thanks for watching.