Very big questions. Big questions, we think we need to answer along, but we don't. We've invented some really amazing things to try to help us answer these really big questions. That's what drugs are. Yeah. Drugs are amazing to try to answer the big question, aren't they? But right now, they're all legal, because there is a very pointless war on drugs going on. Yeah. I think it's holding us back as a goddamn species. I am for the legalization of all drugs. I'm also for, thank you, one person, everybody else is nuts. I'm also for the education of all drugs. So get your notebooks out, classes and sessions. Psychedelics, that's the one I think we need to legalize right away. There's a lot more benefit than detriment to psychedelics, but those are the ones that have the most amount of stigma associated with them. The main one being the From the Devil. Marijuana man, that's the devil's plant right there. All right. Yeah. MDMA, devil's pills. LSD, devil's paper. Y'all know what that makes Jerry Garcia? The goddamn devil, that's what. No mortal man can go on tour for that long, all right? And 19 minutes solos, that's selfish. That's some devil shit right there. I find that stigma very funny, because I'm an agnostic and I've done psychedelics, and that's the only full time I ever found evidence for God was when I did psychedelics. So I think it's very funny that something that comes from the devil gets you that close to the bosom of God. Interesting thought, ain't it? Yeah. Solos added mushrooms are known to decrease depression. And mushrooms, by the way, are the only acceptable topping on a pizza hut pizza. But then you just realize, oh, there's definitely better pizza out there, right? Pure MDMA is a therapy aid, but the stigma towards MDMA is that not only is it dropping bodies, but it's dropping beat after beat after beat. But what they're talking about is Molly, right, the chemically altered version of MDMA, trying to like how pizza hut pizza is just chemically altered pizza. Yeah, like it's edible, but your body's never going to be the same again. LSD not only decreases depression, but also suicidal thoughts. Holy shit. Why would we legalize that, right? But the stigma towards LSD is that it gets stuck in your spinal cord and you'll have an acid flashback and remember that you went to a Dave Matty's band concert once. That's not true. LSD metabolizes in your system in 48 hours, which is about half the time that it takes for a pizza hut pizza to metabolize in your system. You were more likely to have a pizza hut flashback in your lifetime. That's the one I like. LSD. Yeah, that's the one I did that got me some evidence for God. Yeah. And I did LSD. I was happy for 16 straight hours, which is amazing, but so exhausting. Was the last time anybody in here was happy for 16 straight minutes, let alone 16 hours. The end of the show tonight just go to the side of the street and just smile for 16 straight minutes. Somebody won't put you in a padded room. It's unnecessary behavior. Even on your wedding day, you're not happy for 16 straight hours, right? That's supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Bullshit. The first day you do LSD. Now that's the happiest day of your life. The people that are laughing have done LSD. What do you get on your wedding day? Maybe 23 straight minutes of happiness? Then you find out that Debra's fucked up the flower arrangements. The Lenys trying to sleep with the groomed sister who happens to be Carl's wife. I got to deal with all that shit. I think the last time I remember being happy for 16 straight hours was when I was a baby and I discovered that I had fingers. Oh shit. Did you guys know I could do this? I feel so evolutionarily powerful. Which is a thought you can't have unless you do LSD by the way. But the pharmaceutical industry does not believe that you can capitalize on happiness because they don't want you doing hour drugs. They want you doing fair drugs. And they got some fancy drugs. Some of their drugs have a carboxyl group in it. We don't know what's in hour drugs because they won't fund the research to find out what's in hour drugs. Shit. We might find out that there's two carboxyl groups in hour drugs. Fuck. We might find out what a carboxyl group actually is. Or we find out that it's all from the devil. We don't know. But these pharmaceutical drugs are far more dangerous, right? They're way more chemically altered and they're far more addictive. Go to any VA right now and you will see more veterans addicted to oxycodone and the vikin' and then you will LSD. Yeah. If you try to bring those veterans LSD, whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. Pharmaceutical industry will give you such a talk into. Just, what do you think was going to happen? Huh? Did you really think you could get these people to enjoy and happen and get them to see a spectrum of colors that were never seen or they did in their life? This bullshit. Okay? These are American heroes. All right? They serve this country that, technically, this country forgot about. That's a point when they need this pill that we will provide to them that gives them the gift to such wonderful side effects like temporary blindness, vomiting, the devil's breath, bitch face, both resting and active, anal leakage. That's what these people need. Pharmaceutical industry is the only industry trying to make sickness sexy. Yeah. They want you to be sick. They need you to be sick, right? They tell you the way you are isn't normal. But if you take one of their pills, it'll get you close and then people will want to have sex with you. But the problem is one of their pills is going to give an erection for four minutes, let alone four hours. So now you're going to take another pill just to fuck somebody else that's also dead on the inside, right? It's like a vicious cycle they throw you into. It's like a snake trying to eat and fuck itself at the same time. Waiting till everybody laughs at that joke. Very proud of that goddamn hole. My friend likes to call that the horror Boris, which I think is hilarious, right? It's the only part in the show and I didn't even fucking write it. I do think we need to legalize these drugs, right? We'll inherently make us a lot more peaceful of a society. We get rid of road rage, no being their car screaming each other honking, flipping each other off. You'll just be very excited that those very nice people turned on the very pretty lights in front of you. There's a lot more benefit than detriment to psychedelics. Here MDMA is a therapy aid, right? The ease of PTSD patients, if we people that have gone through some trauma to help them cope and move forward with their lives, right? The guy that invented the 12 step program, the 12 step A.A. program, yeah, he did LSD to quit alcohol. In fact, it worked so well he wanted to do LSD to be the first step of the program. How fucking awesome is that? If that's the first step of the program, I'm developing a drinking problem tomorrow. But I guess when you realize that we're all just one vibration floating through the universe and what we really need is a political party all based around loving and hugging each other a lot more, you don't need to drown your sorrows at the bottom of a beer bottle. Tippy bartender tonight is very important. Make sure you jump them well. Very important. Drink is your celebrating, not because you're sad, right? Yeah, psychedelics are just a tune up for your brain. That's what they are. They're the exact opposite of what a pizza hut pizza is to your stomach. Yeah, they get you more in tune with feelings of love, acceptance and happiness. And a pizza hut pizza gets you more in tune with feelings of hate, anger and diarrhea. But the norm right now is to keep these things illegal, to do what the dare program and Nancy Reagan have told you to do. Just say no to opening your mind and to healing people and actually helping each other figure ourselves out because there ain't no fucking money in healing people. When you figure yourself out, they can't convince you that you're sicker than what you already are because they can't make money off of healthy people, right? Yeah. And they're sure. Yeah. And they're sure as shit now going to educate you on how to do your drugs. And that's important. You need to be educated on how to do your drugs because it's just like drinking. The first time you started drinking, it was a goddamn disaster. We threw up on your friend's cat. Yeah, no, we did not. Then you went ahead and confessed your love to the house plant. You decide to move the Florida for fuck's sake. But then eventually you realize that 12 beers and 17 shots of vodka lead to really bad decisions. Like couch peeing, dick drawings and white privilege. They're just bad ideas. We need to be educated on how to do our drugs because if we can do that then maybe 60 hours of happiness can be the norm, right? The irony right now is we don't understand the things that can help us understand each other. That's what I'm going to do. When I have kids I'm going to help them understand each other. That's why I'm going to get them high. Start easy. Age 5, let's do some weed. Makes you sleepy, not the life of the party? Alright, age 6, bump a cocaine. Shit too much of the life of the party, right? You like it a little bit too much? Alright, let's ease it back. Age 7, let's connect you to the universe. Let's drop some acid together. I bet they'll make a less shitty teenager, right?