What's up y'all, it's your boy Lloyd here. I've been getting a lot of questions about guys asking me about getting attached to women. You know, a lot of my clients and students and viewers of this channel are complaining that they feel like they're getting too attached to the women that they're in. And you know, this is kind of getting attached is not good. It's almost never good. You don't want to be attached. What you want to be is you want to be with somebody that you like, that you enjoy being around that you're growing with, but getting attached and being in that area, typically what that's going to do is it's going to drive her away. Because in truth and reality, women do not want a guy that's attached to them. Women want a guy who they can grow with, who they like and likes them back. Same thing too. So if you're getting attached to the women that you meet, if it's one time, okay, maybe that was just that one time, but if it's happening consistently in your life, something's wrong. So what I'm going to give you a shorter answer than what I'm going to give in my full length program, the approaching system. So this is actually going to be a section that I cover in one of the extensions in the approaching system. But I'll give you guys a short answer right here. Now, if you want access to the approaching system, click on the link in my description box below. Okay. So what am I going to cover in this video? I'm going to cover what the principles are, the mindsets that you should have to prevent attachment. And then I'm actually going to go over some examples of when I was too attached and the way I act now. So obviously this everything, pretty much every question that I answer on this channel is something that I've dealt with in my own life. And I've found better ways of dealing with it, you know, years ago, long time ago, when I was in my early 20s, maybe, yeah, I would suffer from this. And it's because I didn't adhere to the main principle that I'm going to give you right now. I've said this numerous times. You guys don't know by now. If you're dating a girl, if you have a girlfriend, never, ever make that girlfriend in number one priority, I know in the media, they say this all the time. Like your girlfriend should be number one or like you're, she should be the most important thing in your life. You hear this all the time. You hear her husband say this. You hear everybody say this. It's not true. It should never be true. Okay. Because if you do that, you're going to drive her away. She should be at best. If she's your girlfriend, she at best, she should be fourth. Okay. You know what comes before that? You. You know what comes after that? I'm not sure what that is. You know what comes after that? Your career. You know what comes after that? Your family. And then at number four, we got your girlfriend there. Okay. Now, if she's a girl that you're maybe just started dating or you're talking to, dude, she shouldn't even be in the top five. Like you got your friends, you got other priorities going on probably. Like she should be maybe five or six. Okay. At best, that's what she should be. And if you're prioritizing her above other things, well, guess what? You're being too attached and that's going to drive her away. You know, a lot of people think that fourth is an insult. Fourth is actually pretty good. And if you marry her, then she moves up to third. Because now she's part of your family. Okay. Now, she's someone that you consider to be really, really close. Okay. I don't care how cool a girl is that I'm dating right now. She's not more important than my mother, my father, and my sister. For my best friends, for that matter. Okay. So if you don't have your priorities in check, this is going to be a problem for you. And fourth is, you know, fourth is pretty high too. That's not saying completely disregarding, ignore them. You know, you should pay a lot of attention to them. That's an important part of your life. That's top five. You know, that's pretty important. Okay. So if you're in this position and you find yourself prioritizing a girl over these other things, expect to get her, expect to drive her away. That's too attached. If you stop doing the things that got her in the first place, being on your path, taking care of the people that you care about the most, those are very important qualities, she's going to think there's something wrong with you. She's going to be like, see, why is this guy putting so much emphasis on me? Is there something wrong with him? Does he, can he not get a girl like me? You know, something's not right. And she's going to sense this and she's, the neediness is going to, is going to drive her away. Okay. So the first thing is to have your priorities in check. Now, let's talk about some examples of this. Now, if you're dating a girl and I used to, I used to do this where, if I got a girl who I was really, really into, one of the things that I would do is I would, you know, spend all my time texting here. I would not put effort into the other areas of my life. I would let those kind of subside. I would be thinking about it all the time. And why was this? The reason this happened was because I was using this person for happiness. Okay. This probably, if you've gone back to my early 20s, I was at a job I hated. I had, I had some pretty cool friends, but the people that I regularly spend time with, they just weren't the kinds of people that I, that I really clicked with. And it took me a long time for me to find a good group of friends. And same thing in college. So when I met a girl who I liked, who gave me happiness, I became super, super attached to them. Why? Because my happiness depended on them, liking me on them spending time with me and those kinds of things. If you're in this position, the short route is, a lot of guys will, I'll tell them, it's the short route is to just get other options with women. Okay. So go out there, do what you got to do. And if you get other high quality options with women, then you won't be as attached to this one in particular. Now this is kind of a short term, it's kind of a short term thing. If you're a guy like me, you can always have options, but if you're not, then you know, you're going to have options at sometimes and then sometimes you're not going to have options. So it's not a permanent solution. It can be a temporary solution, but it's not a permanent one. The way you create a permanent solution for this is create a lifestyle that gives you happiness where you don't need another person to come in there and provide that for you. And a lot of times we're looking to the, so going for happiness is, is, is, is, is a big driving force. But if they get rid of some pain within you, then that's like the ultimate attachment thing. That's when you're going to attach to this person super quickly. And if you find that happening to you, there's probably some pain within you or pain that you're experiencing or a problem with your lifestyle that this person is providing for you. Now, whether this is something messed up that happened to you when you were a kid, whether this is just you got a bunch of shitty friends around you and your job that you hate, which is in my case, that was what's happening to me. You need to solving those problems is going to help. And in the program that I'm talking about the approaching system, we're actually going to give you exercises that you can do that are going to satisfy this. And one of the things that you want to exercise that you can do, I'll just give it to you right now, is to write down some things that if you do them, they make you feel better. Just write down five things that make you feel good. And every time that you have a problem, anytime that you're having a shitty day, do those five things. Now, these five things cannot be dependent upon other people because if you make them dependent upon other people, that's how you get attached. That's how you get attached to women, okay? It's because you're using them to get rid of these bad feelings. But if you can get rid of the bad feelings yourself, then the attachment is unnecessary. So with that, if it's maybe something you have some childhood trauma or something like that, and I think that term gets a little overused in today's day and age, I think everything's fricking trauma. I mean, I don't think your childhoods have been that bad in comparison to what they've been in the past. But it definitely happens. It definitely happens. I remember certain times in my life where that probably affected a few things. But if you find that that is the case, I cover that in my coaching programs, but I would recommend that you start asking yourself some questions and start doing things right now to help out with that. Okay? So once you figure all this out, once you have your lifestyle down, once you have an environment that's giving you happiness regularly, once you meet a girl that's amazing, it's not going to be like the savior of your life. You're not going to be super needy with this person. You're not going to get attached. Okay? You're going to like to hang out with you. You're going to be like, man, like I like this girl. Like I want to see her. I'm super excited to see her. Whether as opposed to like, I need this girl to hang out with me because if she doesn't, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to like, you get those, there's a trend going on with men threatening to kill themselves, if women leave them and stuff like that. Like, don't ever be that guy, dude. If you're watching this channel, don't be that guy. Okay? Because those guys have such a terrible lifestyle, a terrible situation at the moment that that's why they're doing that. And I don't want that for you. Again, so that's my answer for you guys. Again, we're going to cover this more in depth in the approaching system if you want to get notified about that. Link is in the description box below. Thanks for watching you guys. If you've made to the end, consider subscribing. I come up with videos like this every single week. Good luck out there.