So you know that feeling or rather lack of feeling that happens after you've been in toxic relationships or been with a narcissist where You're in recovery and you're living your life, but you don't feel any pleasure You're not getting joy from the things you normally get joy from you're not experiencing happiness You don't have humor. You know that feeling of sort of emotional numbness, but almost more like You can feel the bad stuff, but you can't feel any of the good stuff. Did you know it as a name? It's called anidonia and it is a symptom of a lot of things But two things that it is a symptom of that we might want to be aware of and sort of talk to someone about is CPTSD and depression So so my name is Lisa Kalluchian. I am here to help you understand and transform your life after toxic relationships and being with narcissistic people so First off, this isn't therapy. This isn't a medical program. Okay, this is I'm just here to give you information about what might be going on in Your life so that you can seek the help to recover from this stuff. Okay, so number one thing is if you're feeling this You might want to seek some help find some therapy some coaching some peer support Something so that you're not feeling alone and you're not feeling like something is drastically wrong with you Okay, it's kind of normal to feel this after toxic relationships Especially if you have CPTSD, okay Normal to feel it. Yes, but that doesn't mean you need to stay in it, right? So I'm gonna give you a few tips here for when you're feeling like you just do not have any joy in your life Okay, it's really important. We start to find some because Part of healing from toxic relationships is recovering our joy. So Sometimes you have to go out and look for the things that would normally give you feelings of joy happiness or good feelings and Try it anyway, even though for right now. It's not really working It's kind of about getting your brain to start seeking These things that bring pleasure and happiness and joy into your life in a healthy way Versus going back to the toxic person to try and have that need met You see when you have had a Narcissist in your life You're so wrapped up in the love bomb in the D-value cycle and the intermittent reinforcement that happens where they love bomb in D Value on a not-schedule sort of randomly all over the place which creates this Drive for your brain to constantly be seeking the pleasure of They're not being mean to you So with that when that happens your brain gets a little bit wired or a lot wired to be doing that on that cycle in that path On that neural pathway and so creating a new neural pathway going out there and doing it anyway even though It's not really feeling it right now can be useful at least to start. Okay? I'm gonna give you just a few tips here So if this is speaking to you let me know in the comments What you have done to help yourself through this where you are with it if you're still needing help with it or What you think might help you let me know in the comments and also hit the thumbs up and the subscribe So the thing is we have to start dealing with our trauma. You have to start dealing with What has happened how it has affected you and How to Create a new life that is outside of your traumatic experience Really not an easy feat. I know that it's this is why we have help This is why so many people reach out because it is very difficult to do alone some people can do it alone Some people can't okay, so if you need help check out the information in the main description of every video There's coaching group coaching and peer support and if not that please research help for yourself that suits your life Okay, so another thing that can happen when you're having this feeling is you also might be feeling a lot of panic or anxiety and stress and just anxious feelings in your life getting a handle on that a little bit and Learning to calm your nervous system can actually help in Clearing up and opening up some of the more emotional parts of your life Okay, so I mean if you're in a state of panic Where's their room to have joy? There isn't it's panic all the time right so getting your stress level under control Finding all the external stresses that are not necessary in your life and booting them out okay taking time for meditation mindfulness relaxation exercises Whatever tool you have in your toolkit for that particular part of your life and if you don't have any check out the mindfulness videos here or Get some help and some coaching on that because it's an approach that really can Lower the stress level at least this much and when you can get at least this much then other things are possible Does that make sense? So lowering your stress level and I know when you're dealing with these people and when you're still in contact and when you're still Having to like you know be in it with them it can feel impossible but there is almost always somewhere in your life You can reduce an ounce of stress just an ounce okay Even if it's not them so being no contact if you are able to be no contact be no contact that means don't look Don't peek not not that stuff because all of that will harm your progress moving forward Okay, this is about you healing and you finding your path Toward a happy life again, okay? This is gonna be a tough one, but you got to get sleep guys You got to get the adequate sleep needed for the human body, okay? It's really important Finding ways to go to sleep personally. I've been using sleep hypnosis. It works great. So for me but Finding something for you that helps you get the sleep in the rest that you need so that your body and your brain can Recharge for the next day and for life, okay? Eating as well make sure you're eating healthy if you are feeling low appetite if you're feeling just put off by food Or if you're eating way too much and you're eating excessively think about it for a second find a healthy pattern for eating Create some sort of dietary Plan for yourself so that you're getting proper nutrition because proper nutrition feeds the brain and the brain has had some damage here The brain your brain has been affected and changed From the toxic person in your life and from the narcissist okay, so it's kind of important that you feed it It's actually really important that you feed your body Foods that help your brain and there's a whole lot of information on the internet about that and elsewhere and find a nutritionist if you need it for that purpose Okay physical activity can be really important it increases serotonin it can help with the dopamine drive What you're experiencing when you have this Anatonia going on is a lack of dopamine drive you're you're no dopamine for anything except relief from the pain from The toxic person, okay, and usually that means reaching back out to them to find it So getting out of the trauma bond here physical activity be it aerobic activity or Muscle activity core muscle exercises it creates heat from the inside in your body when you do core Exercises yoga Pilates weightlifting anything like that swimming even and it helps your brain center and ground, okay? so Those are really important when you are healing I think personally Pilates saved me, okay? just doing that every few days I Was able to reduce brain fog I was able to reduce the looping thinking to get it myself Where I actually felt pretty happy for a few minutes now and then even at the worst of it, okay? So I really strongly believe that core exercise is very useful if you do it regularly and you do it mindfully That means while you're doing it you're not thinking about all the toxic stuff that happened, okay? You're focusing on what you're doing staying present to what you're doing taking breaks from the stress of what happened in that relationship or what is still happening, okay? And then another thing I'll say here is reconnect with old friends or people or things in your life that once made you happy that once Brought you pleasure that have been diminished or Completely taken away by being with the narcissistic person if you've been isolated if you've lost friends if you've lost Connections if you've lost groups of people or if you've lost hobbies or interest Reconnect with those things even if for a little while it still feels flat Just know that this is a happy place. This was a safe place. You don't need it to be what it was right now Okay, what what the aim is is to allow your brain the time to heal and allow your emotions to catch up with it all So that everything gets back on board and you start living your life again. Okay, you guys take care and I will see you next time