Hi, I'm Dexter Griff from the Popular Web Series Red vs. Blue. I'm Sarge from the same show. Today we're going to get behind the wheel and show you how to dominate the roads. What Sarge means is because of legal reasons we're not allowed to say we're going to go over some defensive driving tips to keep you and other drivers on the road safe. Defensive driving in the term is by weak-minded individuals. What you really want is offensive driving. Take up all the lanes of travel and rub people off the road. Establish your presence so nothing comes close to hitting you. If that isn't safety then by God I don't know what is. Sarge we're already being forced to do this stupid PSA. I'd rather not give bad advice just to have my license revoked. Bad advice? Don't worry, we are doing a public service. These are full proof life hacks to a better driving experience. Now let's hit the road. Literally. Get it? Hit the road. Ho ho! Distracted driving is one of the leading causes of road incidents. So make sure to keep your eyes on the road and avoid any unnecessary distractions. Those distractions include pesky road signs. Stoplights, pedestrians, speed limits, other drivers, or any of the gals that tries to impose driving restrictions. Every single thing you need to be patient to do is in your vehicle already. Wheels, pedals, shifters, dials, and most importantly, the radio. Sarge it's starting to get really hard to focus. Nothing like definting tunes to drive out the otherwise final abuse of the surrounding objects you're speeding past. It's also important to know that the people inside your vehicle can be just as much of a distraction. So as a passenger, you should be considerate to the person behind the wheel. Right, Sarge? Well put, so to show my consideration for the driver, I'm going to make a new safety suggestion. Let's pick up a hitchhiker. The more hands on deck, the smoother the ship's sales. Okay, first off, this isn't a boat, and secondly, that's a terrible idea. Picking up random people comes with all sorts of danger. Ah, you don't know that. God be loads of fun. In fact, there's a hitchhiker right there. Well, well that's just dark. Yeah, I guess he's fine. Oh yes, pick me up. I won't try to sabotage the brake lines that jerk the steering wheel or anything naughty. You can trust me. Never mind, it's a malle. Always make sure you're in the right condition to drive. If you're sleepy or under the influence, you could make poor decisions or make mistakes that could put others in danger. Of course, an acceptable condition is road rage. Throw your car's elbows out of someone's trying to cut you off. That's your space. You God dibs. Hell, just pitman over them. I don't know if something's wrong with them. There's a lot of them behind the wheel. You can't clearly think we're an empty stomach. Don't make sure to fill it. Delicious food when you can. Tacos. Be careful, Griff. Those locals, you're already in Norvis, we're in. And speaking of we're in, you should really watch out. Ah! Shit, hide the tacos. Sucks for you. What do you want, Dickhead? Oh, I'm glad you asked. Behold the future. By plugging Lopez into this vehicle, I've created a self-driving car. No need to care about driving when you have something else to do it. Error, realment de necesario, quitarme, la cabeza. I can kick back, relax, and worry about things other than the vehicles and people around me. You can leave the woes of driving to cutting-edge artificial intelligence. In fact, I loaded a state-of-the-art driving program to Lopez this morning. For a good idea, just to make your own self-driving car, isn't that like a super regulated thing? It's fine. Lopez had his car as a computer, and computers make the best defensive drivers, just like they make the best chess players. Right Lopez? Error. Oh, wow. Um, I hope our insurance can cover this. Maintaining the state of your vehicle when it's parked is just as important as it is when it's moving. Guess it's expensive these days, so I remember to completely shut the vehicle off to save on fuel, even if you have a living being inside. I'm getting baked. There's nothing to fun and don't medically prescribe to wear. You don't want anybody putting ugly scratches or dings in your ride, so make sure to always park in as many spots as possible. Unfortunately, wide open spaces to plant your wheels aren't always available, so just cram yourself in whatever space you can find. Like here, or here, even here. Why do the Watthawks not appear us? Remember, driving is easy. As long as you have awareness of what's going on, you should never have any sort of problem. You know the unadvised we've given you, keep at least one eye on the road. And you'll avoid any potentially dangerous accidents. Exactly. You're watching where we're going, right, Sarge? Wow, and I'll be paying attention to the road when you're on driving. At the end of the day, the responsible thing is to follow your local road laws and get a proper driver's education from a licensed professional. Okay, boy, has all the damages it's been accounted for? I just need to know which one of these humans was behind the wheel. There goes my license. Again, knew this was going to happen. Thank you for watching this episode of Red vs Blue. If you want to check out more, go to Rister Teeth. It's an app, it's a website, it's a lot of stuff.