Captain's Log, star date 2299-045-15. The USS Isaiah Cook has arrived in the Wingcourt system. Our mission, to scan for habitable planets and expand humanity's positive influence into the far reaches of the galaxy. Space is a cold, dark place, and it's our duty as natural-born heroes to spread our light to other sentient species for the prosperity and mutual advancement of us all. So let's get out there and collect some data! Well said, sir! I.I. Captain, ready for your orders! Why am I the only one that looks different? Ganners online! We really are the best. Incoming transmission! Zuma! You have been officially declared the worst and your reign of terror will soon come to an end! Exactly there! You must be confusing us with the Zumaans. They look just like us except they're terrible. We are familiar with the fanatic spiritualist xenophiles you speak of, but your crimes far outweigh their total lameness. Crimes? Please. Humans are the best thing to happen to this entire wretched quadrant. No one dislikes us. I'm not sure I'm high enough ranked to be having this conversation. We are the Federation against your manatee. Your villainy against our people will no longer be tolerated. What are you talking about? Were you were the human's first friends after you figured out spaceflight and then you broke our defensive pact and left us for dead? You blocked off our only hyperlain to the rest of the galaxy. That's on you. You paid for mercenaries to attack our undefended colony! You, on several previous occasions, made very rude comments that our expense. It was only matter a time before you declared war. You stole a plan and filled with primitives we have been cultivating for our own empire. Okay, first off, the place was called radical prime. I mean, how could we resist that? Very good. Also, the primitives ended up being the Zumaans, so I think we can all agree you came out on top there. It matters not. Rebel human factions are constantly attacking our ships and unclaimed space. Your species actively prevents further study of our galaxies. That's hardly our fault. They're rebelling against us too. And all we did was ration food sources to try and get our energy out of the red. We are the good guys here, riding wrongs, preventing disasters. A group of our Corvettes is stopping a deadly asteroid from hitting the Pyro Night Homeworld as we speak. They already blew up the asteroid. Man, anyone? Apocalypse zero. Take that, rocks. You coming transmission from the rocks? You just destroyed our mother. Ship? No. He just literally impossible to not be a villain by these standards. Okay, we are just trying to do the right thing just like all of you, like most of you, some of you. A lot of you are actually way worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. You, bird face, you straight up on slaves. Yeah, your entire economy is based around buying and selling everybody else here. Alexa. Sino-sky. I personally seen the remains of the planets you've cracked in half. If you're going to keep breaking them, you don't deserve any more planets. And new dudes, you... Well, you're adorable. Our lesser species will be exterminated, processed, and fed to our allies for sustenance. Okay, yikes, but also checkmate. Pointing out our misdeeds does not forgive your own. Look, why don't we all just accept that we've accidentally committed a few war crimes and come back to this conversation once we all naturally turn on each other after running out of space and resources. We're all on the same side here. For now. Incoming transmission? Ah, gross as the zoom-ins. This is where humans are the true scourge of the stars. You do whatever they please, while simultaneously praising your own moral superiority. You are a hypocrite. Okay, fine. You want proof that we are the good guys? Patch it on through. Oh, hey, uh, you might have accidentally hit your uh, answer button there, buddy. It was on purpose, toughening so lame. By the authority that I totally have as a science officer, on behalf of the human race, I hear by except your offer of... What did you want? Oh, wow, no. We were just kind of hoping someone would want to talk to us. It's a big something. Uh, shoot. Uh, how about a federation? You can name it if you want, but I was thinking of his friends close. Sure, whatever. You see, an alliance with somebody so far below us we couldn't possibly gain anything from them. Who's the villain now? Guys, they said yes. Yes, someone said yes, finally. Just kidding. Hey, have you heard the good word about the shroud? This was a mistake. Hi, I'm a Kyle. Thank you so much for watching this video and special thank you to Paradox for making this entire video possible. Dolores is an actual 4x sci-fi game and it's free to play starting today all the way through May 17th. Just follow the link in our description and you can download it and give it a try. It's super cool. I usually suck at 4x games because there's a lot of numbers, but this one is like really story driven. You get to start off by making your own species from scratch. Anything that has ever happened in a sci-fi movie can happen somewhere in the game. On a personal note, Paradox has also just been really, really cool about the entire sponsorship. Given us all the resources that we could possibly need, it's been super fun. I really enjoyed making this and I really enjoyed playing the game as part of making this and I'm going to go do that some more. So thank you again for watching.