I once went to a workshop on PTSD where the rather famous presenter mocked the concept of a wounded inner child. He declared that such a concept is ridiculous because there's no inner child inside of you unless you're pregnant. Frankly, I was shocked by his rigid concreteness and his inability to see the healing value of embracing your wounded inner child. So what actually is your wounded inner child? Well it's a metaphor for all your unhealed wounds from childhood composed of certain thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations that are triggered by specific stimuli, throwing you into a translike state of powerlessness, shame, and fear. So when your wounded inner child is triggered, you emotionally become the traumatized child you were, still trapped in dysfunction or abuse, which can significantly distort the way you perceive yourself and your relationships. Okay, so I want to bring the metaphor of the wounded inner child to life. Let's talk about Bobby who grew up with an abusive alcoholic father. Now let's flash forward 25 years and Bobby is married to Julie who was a sweetheart. However, Bobby still carries significant wounds from childhood that are instantly triggered by certain stimuli. For example, if his wife disagrees with him, he is immediately thrown into a panic and then compulsively avoids the potential conflict anyway he can. But why? Because arguments in his childhood always led to pain and chaos. In an imprisoned reality, Julie is frustrated with him because he rarely expresses his opinion or lets her know what he needs or wants. She longs for his feedback but rarely gets it and so she feels alone in a marriage with a man she's realizing she doesn't even know. Finally she gives him an ultimatum, get therapy or I'm leaving. So here's another example. Loretta was physically abused by her mother and then became riddled with feelings of shame, fear and powerlessness. She eventually married Rodney and angry man who drank too much. She tried everything to make him happy but never succeeded for very long so she felt like a failure. And when he abused her, triggering the shame of the wounded in her child, she blamed herself for his abusive behavior just like she did when her mother abused her. Thus Loretta's feelings of shame, fear and powerlessness kept her trapped in an abusive relationship. As I mentioned before, the trans of the wounded in her child is composed of shame, fear and powerlessness which are what prevented Bobby from sharing his opinion with his loving wife and Loretta from getting out of an abusive marriage. And at the core of the trans of the wounded in her child are certain beliefs, called core beliefs that fuel shame, fear and powerlessness which I will now discuss. First let's talk about core beliefs that children develop growing up in a loving environment. Core beliefs about self-include, I am worthwhile, I am safe, I am capable, which leads to feelings of self-worth, safety and empowerment which you may notice are the opposites of shame, fear and powerlessness. Core beliefs about close relationships include others are available to me, others are responsive to me and others will meet my needs, which leads to feelings safe in close relationships, a belief that my needs and feelings matter and trust in others. Now let's talk about the core beliefs that children develop growing up with trauma, abuse and significant dysfunction. Core beliefs about self-include, I am worthless, I am unsafe, I am helpless, which leads to shame, anxiety and powerlessness. Core beliefs about close relationships include others are unresponsive, others are unreliable and others might even be dangerous, which leads to hopelessness, shame, anxiety and anger. As you can see core beliefs are at the root of the shame, fear and powerlessness of the wounded in her child. In order to heal such wounds, your mindful adult brain must become the loving, nurturing parent for your wounded in her child that was lacking in childhood so that you can learn to develop healthy core beliefs, such as I am worthwhile, I am safe and others will meet my needs. I call this process, reparenting your wounded in her child, the subject of a previous video of mine. If you'd like help, reparenting your wounded in her child, then visit my website serenanyonlinetherapy.com to learn more about the online services I provide. If you liked this video, please click the thumbs up button and then subscribe to my channel to hear more from me. And finally, keep paying attention to your life. Until next time.