There's a lot of your skin Been in color you feel If you've got a lady to me make sure you feel the heat You can take what you want But when you take it from me My camera is currently dangling upside down up a tree I come down to Oxbridge today just because I want to film a video on this one new didn't want to go into the center So I came here I decided to dangle my camera upside down of the tree Yeah, that's my life I Bench We're filming on a band It doesn't want to stand up to the wall and I'm lost it's hiding in one habit room. So yeah Hey Science and symptoms I have with association then I go on about what it is and what figures it medication I'm on the safety matter causes all right, but I child Here What's up guys? So you know yesterday and the day before I was going through a bit of a Depressor depressive it's because obviously everything went on was emotionless hell I should go to what it did to me. Yeah, let's be talking about this video is just talking about Disertion I spent the last two days pretty much entirely out of it yesterday I didn't wake until about five in the evening and then I fell asleep by nine I'm very tired on the whole Thursday. I went to my GP and I got my medication increased and then today So I decided to come out and you know have a fair out with my camera and I'm gonna hang for upside down Of the tree if this falls it's game over so this video is about dissociation and But on over or as a whole what is it what are the symptoms of it? I'm gonna talk my own experience primarily. I also have a thing from DSF I am operating on my trusty piece of paper Some of the science and symptoms that I have with dissociation But sometimes I feel invisible like I will message someone and say to you still write me even though I'm invisible I I wholeheartedly can sometimes be in a state where I believe I'm invisible and it's it's a very complicated and confusing thing to try and You know comprehend I'm someone turn around and be like hey, I'm invisible when they're clearly not It's a very confusing term sometimes I get into a state where I don't believe I exist I would like do I really exist and that is a whole video in itself But the biggest thing that was when I just wholeheartedly stopped believing in existence Stop doing everything I was essentially cast on it for around half a month because I just didn't believe that I believe so I thought Like what's the point in doing anything about it? It's this I lose a lot of time. I've said this before in other video One of the major issues I have with dissociation is that I only was a lot of time Time is something that just slips away from me and not to a normal I overstays. I miss weeks I miss events. I miss all sorts because I've lost time memory loss Major issue. Major issue. Notebooks I have right trust me forgetfulness and I'm a dad Disconnect everything so I forget a lot So the outside experience is essentially what I feel like I I Outside my body I feel like I can see things out some other way even though I'm in some of my body and it's so hard to explain to you what that is without like I don't have to explain that So the visual hallucinations is the major thing The visual hallucinations are actually the inspection Visually hallucinate and I made an entire video on the first video to have this I noticed It happens quite a lot to me where I see things that like transfigure and that there was a hand in hand My diagnosis of depersonalization and de-realization items don't seem real. They see it Different and my mind sometimes reconstructs it in the way that I think I see it and it turns to official hallucination I don't often know where I'm dreaming or things are real like I said that goes on in a depersonalization and de-realization I tell one of the main things as you tend to feel like I keep through it you different person You just don't feel like yourself. You feel like a different person and that's I'm noticed a lot since receiving the diagnosis of depersonalization de-realization not saying I didn't I don't have before but I definitely started noticing all these things a lot more after that very notice came into play Understanding is key is like it used to scare me because I didn't understand what was going on And now I have good understanding. I do kind of get it a lot more I think I'm gonna stop this here because some of the people now and yeah I'm not gonna just stand my camera up to film here just because my tripod is broken what I am gonna film here Because it's pretty nice. I don't like it But one of my major symptoms over my dissociation and the dissociative disorder that I still have Is a complete disconnect from self meaning I often don't recognize myself in a mirror I can look in a mirror and not fully like hungry him. It's me looking like it's a very unreal and hard to blame But people look wrong to me sometimes and it feels really weird it's hard to explain for me any kind of Set me up with a dissociation like any reminder any little bits of trauma any big trauma Eight more to me a video talking about big tears little tears with Dodie and I will in the description down below So there's a lot of causes for this for me It's mainly high stress situations and it goes hand-in-hand with BP Do powerful there are a number of them and I hope conditions that it happens with dissociation is actually a normal thing It happens a lot of anxiety panic attacks stress and you know, just stuff like that It's a very very common thing to happen I want to be a quick shout out to dissociate through it is a channel dedicated to dissociative Identity disorder She talks about her own experience with it and I absolutely love her channel to be such as it is amazing So to cope with this I use notebooks notebooks are my best friend or near recordings Most rest support from friends and my beautiful girlfriend to one of your sky Education I take the razzle palm stocky clone and an antidepressant called According to the DSM file I literally wrote this down So dissociation is a way for the body to cope with trauma and high stress through disconnecting from what's going on It's a bloody protective factor This is my video talking about dissociation and my experience of it and now I'm going to go home because I'm cold and kind of lost and I want to tell you to say that if you are dealing with dissociation there is definitely hope There's people out there this thing you can do to recover the things you can do to help yourself and yeah Why outside of the omendous out? The thing big thing for me to remind you guys is the safety is key and the issue with dissociation is you Think and disconnect and think really with them and think that Things that aren't going on I think and safety is just the most important thing you can do to help yourself I hope you guys have enjoyed this video and I'm sorry if at any point you haven't been able to understand or hear me I am absolutely I am vlogging and I am also wondering if thank you guys for the massive amounts of support you have given me the last few days regarding the trust issues and her friend issues and I really do appreciate all the guys' support I hope you're doing the amazing and if you're here hit the subscribe and give me a thumbs up Leave a comment down below. I want to do a Q&A soon and I Want it to be about anything like you can leave any questions that you want down below And I'll be out of all the complete meet the questions My Twitter handle is live for Lydia and my Instagram handle is live for Lydia official I've been using it from stories a lot recently as well So if you want to have your vote on the next video follow me on the social media and you vote will be counted I love you guys so much and I'll see you guys soon every live and eat live stream will be up on Monday at 9 p.m Thank you guys for your support and I'll catch you guys soon Please I'm gonna have to hit you with a paper today because I don't have a hands for For when you take it from me I'm sure that you fall Down to you I'm betting on a miracle I I It's really nice. I've never actually been this far out of central London It's quite nice. I think I don't know I'm going to commit Here we go back on So my Oh Yeah