Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Hey, Ireland, what's going on, man? Hey, yeah, I love coming over to this place here, man. And when I'm done here in Ireland, I got to go back to Georgia. When I get to Georgia, first thing they're gonna do, they're gonna ask me about you. The first thing they're gonna do, you know, a lot of white people. Oh, man. This is where they make white people, man. LAUGHTER It's like white people's Africa. LAUGHTER I was in America recently. And I have a bit of American guilt. Just, I wasn't there when September 11th happened. And I feel like I should have been there. I don't know what I would have done, but I should have been there, you know. Maybe like 10 less people would have died if I was there or something like that. I don't know. I wasn't there when Hurricane Katrina happened in New Orleans. And I remember I was sitting in London watching the covers of Hurricane Katrina. And I'm looking at the covers. I'm looking at Americans like me in the streets, Robin, Luton, Justice of I. Well, I'm American. I'm civilized. I've read a book, been to a couple of plays, you know. But the reality is, I'm probably just one big thunderstorm away from sucking cockful potatoes. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE I'm not happy about this. I mean, I'm not gay, so my cock sucking skills ain't nothing to brag about. LAUGHTER I don't really like potatoes all that much, even so. LAUGHTER Yeah, man, I love it over here, man. And I say, I mean, I love it over here. I mean, I really, really love it. Because I was people. Y'all like black people. Well, in a way, you white people, but with none of the entitlement. LAUGHTER It's a credible thing, man. LAUGHTER I mean, my Irish friends, they'd be like, hey, Reg, I don't know if we can get into this club. And I'd be like, but you white. LAUGHTER How could you possibly feel like that? LAUGHTER LAUGHTER See, black people don't do entitlement very well. Because when black people try to act entitled, it just looks mean and shitty. Yeah, yeah. That's why a name on me Campbell keeps getting in trouble. LAUGHTER And when I say it, because generally, it's when that white people do entitlement very well, except for Irish people. When I say entitlement, nobody quite wants to speak to your manager the way a white person do. Nobody quite writes a letter to the editor quite the way a white person can. LAUGHTER Nobody can talk shit to a cop. Quite the way a white person can. Since, you know, nobody can hijack a Third World economy. Quite the way a white person can. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE And on my way to racist black people, we can hijack Third World economies, but we tend to have to live what the economy is that we hijack it. LAUGHTER White people can do it from other cultures. I'm calling from Sweden. Fuck up Nigeria. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER My friends, they always ask me, there's a lot of white people in here. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, a lot of white people. And most of the white people I've met since I've been in the part of the world have been fantastic. World class. Ireland in particular. You two white people. Very well. LAUGHTER But I do meet a certain type of white person. They nice, but they nerve it. Just socially nervous. Constantly afraid they're doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing or not properly observing your customs. But there's a particular white person. They have a secret fear that they might be racists, but they don't know it. LAUGHTER They're constantly afraid that they're being racist, but there's no evidence that they are. I was at a party one night and this guy walks up. And we just talk and laugh and joke and drink. And suddenly he says, man, I ask you something. I say anything. He goes, I'm not trying to be out of order. I said, just say it, man. I think I might have been racist recently, but I'm not sure. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER I said, OK, this again. Go ahead. He says, I was in a cinema last Tuesday, and I bumped into a black guy. And I said, sorry, didn't see you. Now... LAUGHTER You tell me if that was racist. LAUGHTER Oh, no, man. Fuck, was there hatred in your heart when you said it? I mean... LAUGHTER And I'm not having to go. If you are one of these such white people who are socially nervous, you're not having to go. I'm not having to go. I'm not having to go. I'm not having to go. I'm not having to go. If you are one of these such white people who are socially nervous and worried about being racist, just good on you that you care enough about your own behavior to check yourself, but don't overdo it. Because if you overdo it, just make yourself socially neurotic. And plus, if you're worried about being racist, when there's no evidence that you have been, then you also make yourself vulnerable and susceptible. The con man. Con man like Nelson Mandela. So... LAUGHTER Nelson Mandela makes most of his money now about traveling around the world, blessing white people for a fee. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Just a little bit of a joke. LAUGHTER That's based in truth. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Man, but see, see, it's hard to hear something like that, because, you know, there's some things that you accept as truth or real, and it sounds like, oh my god, how are you attacking that or whatever? Like, there's some things like, we accept as basic truth, like men, or naturally violent. No, they ain't. A man that has the ability to eat every day and see that the people he love can eat and have some sense of self-respect for what he do every day, here's a tendency not to need to knock another mother-fucker in the head. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER CHEERING Thank you. Women are crazy. No, they ain't. No, they ain't. No, they ain't. Not mentally. LAUGHTER And that emotional stuff happens after they get to this planet. I was at a party one night, a housewarming party. I kept out houses, and, um... LAUGHTER I was at a housewarming party one night, and there was these two girls sitting on the end of the couch talking, and one girl was on the phone, and I heard her say, no, I'm busy that day. No, I'm busy that day, too. Yeah, maybe later in the week. I'll call you. I'll call you. Bye. And she hang up, and both girls start giggling. And then the girl who had been on the phone, I heard her say, men love a bit of a challenge. Now, let me just say, I have no stranger to bullshit. LAUGHTER I hear bullshit every day. All day sometimes. I'm party one. I got an agent, I watch the news, I've been in relationships, I'm used to bullshit. But... Sometimes you hear a piece of bullshit that is so fantastic, you cannot be a dirty cop and look the other way. I had to make an arrest. LAUGHTER I'm like, excuse me, ma'am. Did I just hear you say that men love a bit of a challenge? She's like, yep, that's exactly what I said. I said, really? I said, could you tell me where you got that piece of information from? Did you get that piece of information from a man or did you get that from maybe other women or your dad? And... LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER And she says, well, it's just common knowledge, everyone knows that. I said, really? I said, that's interesting, because I've been around men my whole life. I know about men. I'm a man. In fact, my dad, he's a man. Um... My male friends, they men. Some of my female friends. They men. And... And at all my time, being around men, I ain't never hurt no man, go, hey, Tom, you know that thing I love more than anything in the world? Yeah, pussy. I just wish it was harder to get. LAUGHTER