Please put your hands together for Mass Malak! Come on! Come on, let's get it! Yeah, I'll get it up. You people make me sick. Here's a joke. Let's get an Arab and put a bright light in his face. Make him stand in front of a brick wall and put a fucking target right behind him. Now you guys ready to laugh? Awesome, right. So my name is Mass. It's a Lebanese name. All right. And there's a certain indy window or certain understanding that when you tell someone you're an Arab, you know they have this certain idea that you're supposed to act or be a certain way, right? So you guys are quick impression of an Arab and an airport. And you're going to see this and go, that's not right, you shouldn't do it on stage. You know mock your own people. Arab and an airport. Here we go. You fucking like that, did you? You fuckers were expecting me to do this. Oh, look at the plane. I'm going to shoot. Well that's the thing. I think we just added some racist people in here. Speaking of adding, I came out to my friends and family about 20 years ago, not for being a racist, but which was fine and my father was sent to me. You know that's okay son. I just want you to be happy. It doesn't matter if you're with a boy or a girl. You know what I'm saying? That's fine. Supporting dad. All that matters is that you are like me. I've been married to your mother for 30 years. And we have a very loving relationship. I said, that's great. He's a very supportive. And he goes, so I'm going to introduce you to your cousin Mustafa. I like father like son, why not? The thing with Arabs though, the sex was fucking shit. I'll tell you why. You ever seen two Arabs have sex? Of course not because it's not on point. It's not a fetish. So two Arabs having sex, it was basically opening and closing a Velcro folder. We used to mix it up a bit and speak in Arabic during sex. I'm sexy, I know. Because when you're having sex in English, you're like, oh god. Oh god. There's a man. No fucking piss me off. Arabic, we say God as well, but you've heard it on CNN. And it was, so it was, I put some back here too. Little Asian girls work. I don't like Australia, my neighbor no good. But I don't like terror, I don't like noise, I don't even like lightning. But I know that in Australia, when you guys are kids, they send you to excursions. And I was a little kid, oh, maybe I'm even going to go on excursions. We had that back in Lebanon, it was called terror camp. And I remember my father when he wanted me to go, he goes, my son, I'm going to send you to a camp. I'm like, yeah, camp. You were living a cave with six men. Yes, I will, of course. They were the cave with six men. So I got to the cave and Mr. Terror was standing outside an inside. As soon as I arrived, there was six, seven men. I said, this is going to be the fucking best room job I've ever had. So Mr. Terror was hot. I don't give a fuck, there's some hot terrorist out there. You could be a terrorist, but you still look good. Just because your terrorist doesn't mean you ugly. And you know, I had a bit of a crush on him and then like six months into the program, Mr. Terror came up to me and goes, mes. Yes, Mr. Terror. You have succeeded to go on a mission. I'm like, fuck, he likes me. Mr. Terror likes me. So I'm walking around, not like that because they were sand, so you couldn't hear it. But you know, sandals and everything. And I said, yes, Mr. Terror, Mr. Terror goes, my third wife made this vest for you. Oh, Mr. Terror, you know, it's like the one you love the most. You have to wear it. So I wore the vest and it had like lights and you know wires and everything. And I thought, oh my god, it's like desert disco. No, the fuck was gone. He said to me, ma'am, do you see the mountain that's over there? I said, yes, I do, Mr. Terror. Behind that mountain, ma'am, there is military men. Oh, is there, Mr. Terror? Australian military men. American military men. I was saying, what the fuck are we doing here, Mr. Terror? Because you know, we go there and yeah. He said, you must go there. Get in between all of them and use the vest and blow them all. Okay, Mr. Terror. So I walked and blow them all up and he stared at me for the whole fucking trip. He was like, you know, I'm staring. So two weeks later I came back. Mr. Terror wasn't happy. He said, you have failed me, you have failed Allah, you have failed your country. He said, listen here, you fucking bearded bitch. I did exactly what the fuck you told me to. I've got buckled knees and my throat is fucked. And that is why I came to Australia to stand in front of a fucking light. Behind the brick wall with a target behind me. Thank you very much. You