Should I date someone who's just out of a long-term relationship? Thanks for tuning in to Dear CyberCityDay. That's the question we're going to discuss. This is something that I've been written to on my advice column from quite a few people because it's not always a perfect timing when you meet someone. You might be ready, maybe they're not, but there's a connection. You sort of click together, but then you start weighing out all the odds of what's going on in your life and sometimes it's just not the right timing. It really depends on how assertive they are with how they relate to you. If they tell you, look, I've just been out of this relationship for a month or so. I was in a situation for five years with this person. I'm just not ready to give myself 100%. You need to listen to them and you need to believe them. Now I know you can sit there and say to yourself, yeah, but I'm a good catch. So if I remove myself from them, they're going to find somebody else anyway, so maybe I should just stick it out. Well, you can stick it out in a certain sense. And what I mean by that is you can keep it to the friend zone. See them once in a while, go to group gatherings, hang out with them that way. Take your time with this person. You might be somewhere down the road for you, but if you come in and be the person that helps them through their heartbreak, that might, that's what you might only end up being. I would say be there for them, hang out with them once in a while, keep the intimacy and the chemistry a little bit distant if you can. And I would suggest that you do that because if they can trust you and understand that you're giving them that space and you're giving them that time and honoring that for them, they're going to appreciate you a lot more. They're going to look at you and say, wow, they really listened to me and that's fantastic. And if there is a connection between the two of you, it can happen at a slower pace. Also, sometimes what happens if you're making love with somebody who's just out of a relationship, they can be really good in the beginning because they want that closeness that they're missing, but it can also backfire because what can happen is they can miss their partner because this sex is different. It makes them emotional and pining for that other person. So you don't want it to become a hot and cold liaison. So whenever maybe they feel good for the moment, they call you and they know that you'll be available because you're friends and you're there for them. But the trouble with that is it becomes where you're sort of being used to help them get through their heartbreak. Now I'm not saying they're doing it on purpose to hurt you or that they're using you on purpose, they may not even know they're doing it, but trust me. That's what's happening if they're not over their ex. So there's nothing wrong with being friends with them, seeing what happens down the road, to be very careful how much you give of yourself to somebody who says they're not ready. They probably aren't ready. It doesn't mean you can't go up and date, do things yourself. You don't owe them anything. So keep your life going if something flows down the road for the two of you, great. But don't force the issue and don't be their person, their stepping stone from one, you're in the middle and then they go on to the next. Make sure that you're worth, that the time that they give you is valuable. It's not just for them to get over their hurt and their heartbreak. I'm speaking from experience here because it happened to me. My husband now was going through a lot of stuff. He'd been in a long-term relationship and I came in early and I had a little bit of a price to pay for that. So I'm telling you just be really careful when you meet somebody who's freshly out of your relationship. Really keep your own life flowing and fit them in when it suits you not the other way around. Thanks everyone for listening to Dear Cybersea today. Please subscribe to my channel. I'd love it if you leave some comments here and like my video. Thanks so much.