12-step programs such as alcoholics, anonymous, and alanon have been lifelines for millions. I once forwarded eight rivers in Costa Rica to get through our moat fishing village that only recently received electricity. And yet when I stepped off the rickety bus, I saw a sign outside of that strew hut that said, Alcoholics Anonymous. AA is the pioneering self-help group that was founded in 1935 by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith in Acronohyle to help alcoholics achieve and maintain sobriety. alanon was founded in 1951 by Ann B. and Lois W. the wife of Bill Wilson to help families of alcoholics. Since then many other 12-step programs have been created, such as codependence anonymous, over Edas Anonymous, and Gamla's Anonymous to help people overcome unhealthy, compulsive behaviors. So what are the 12-step programs? Well as their names suggest, they offer 12 steps to recovery from any compulsive behavior, and although the language used in the 12-steps may seem archaic, after all they were written more than 80 years ago. The steps themselves are profound and completely consistent with good mental health. Still, the 12-step programs can confuse some people and turn off others because of the use of such words as God and a power greater than ourselves. Which is why I explained to clients in great detail how the 12-step programs work before they attend their first meeting. Here is what I say using Alcoholics Anonymous as an example. But my words apply equally to all of the 12-step programs. 12-step programs are spiritual but not religious. Its founders intended AA to be inclusive of all religions and beliefs, including atheists and agnostics. The only requirement to attend AA is a desire to stop drinking. In addition members are supposed to share from their own experiences rather than give advice, including trying to convert others to their religion, spiritual beliefs, or higher power. Now I will describe how the 12-steps work. Step number one. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lies had become unmanageable. Now this is an obvious starting point in recovery because you can't fix a problem you don't acknowledge. Step two. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Okay, so this was the founders way of encouraging alcoholics to reach out for help since trying to overcome their alcoholism on their own has not worked. Step three. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the care of God as we understood him. Okay, this is what confuses our turns off many people. How is AA not religious if we're supposed to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God? Well they answer lies in the next four words as we understood him. This means that your God or what most AA members call my higher power can be anything you want it to be. Jesus, Buddha, Allah, the Wisdom of the Universe, the AA program itself, the Wisdom of the species or anything else that makes sense to you and gives you strength, courage and something to hold on to. This process of learning to develop faith can be transformative for alcoholics who for so long have felt like alienated outsiders with little faith in anything. This is what makes AA a spiritual program rather than a religious program. And whereas it's okay to mention your higher power in the meetings, it's not okay to discuss religion. Steps four through seven outline a plan of self-assessment so we can recognize and own our character defects and with the help of a higher power correct them. Steps eight and nine instruct us to acknowledge those we have heard because of our alcoholism including ourselves and then make amends when possible. In other words, we work to clean up our messy past so we can learn to live in the present as healthy members of society. Steps ten through twelve suggest we must remain rigorously honest in our daily lives so we can continue to build a spiritual foundation for ongoing recovery and carry this message to other alcoholics. I hope you can feel the wisdom and power of working the twelve steps for any compulsive behavior. It has been a lifesaver for millions including myself who attended Alonon for three years which motivated me to become a therapist. Here are a few more tips for attending your first meeting. They last about an hour and usually open with the serenity prayer and a brief reading from AA literature. There are different kinds of meetings. A discussion meeting is where a topic is chosen and each member can speak to the topic. A step meeting focuses on one of the steps. Special population meetings are for specific groups such as men, women, gays, doctors, businessmen, or those with psychiatric disorders. There are open meetings that anyone can attend for any reason and close meetings where only members can attend. Cross talk is discouraged, meaning that members have the opportunity to share from their own experiences but there is no giving advice or talking back and forth between members during the meeting. You don't have to share until you're ready to share. It's okay to just listen. Confidentiality is expected concerning who attends and what they share. Newcomers are often given phone numbers of other members for support and finally, members are encouraged to ask someone to be a sponsor but you should take time and choose someone who you can relate to. Members are like coaches who guide you in working the 12 steps. I hope you now have a better understanding of the 12 step programs. If you'd like help with your recovery then visit my website, serenanyonlinetherapy.com to learn more about the online services I provide. And if you liked this video, please click the thumbs up button and then subscribe to my channel to hear more from me. And finally, keep paying attention to your life. Until next time.