[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Oh, it's leaking. Yours is leaking. Big time. I've got a good noise. Okay. Poop. Augh! Okay, from the top, from the... Here we go, Zach. Like, let's... Hello. I've been ready. Where are you going? My name is Jimmy. His name is Jake, and this is the weekly dumb, and we're all fired up at John Boy Media here, because it's baseball week. Opening day is on Thursday. But first, Jake, the basketball. What happened? Jim, we're in the elite eight. They're still playing games Monday, Tuesday, night. So that's a little different than normal. Jim, UCLA, Aklah was the big game yesterday. They beat Bama. Slash Bama beat themselves 11 of 25 from the free throw line, Tim. It's 44%. Math. Uncontested shot. They're free. You're supposed to get them free throw. You think you could do better than 11 for 25 if we got you a hoop in a ball right away? For sure. It'd be tight. I don't think it could. I don't think it could. The other top seeded Michigan beat Florida State says here on my sheet. Yeah, don't really care. And the other thing that people, Gonzaga, they're undefeated, the Zags. They think they're America's darling. And they're not, man, they're like annoying. Yeah, I don't think anyone from that region of the US could ever be America's darling. Specifically, Washington and Oregon, the two states there. Go ducks. Oh, yeah, no, yeah, besides the Oregon ducks. It's just kind of a Gonzaga thing. No one likes you that much. Sorry, Zags. You're everyone's like second favorite team because they can just name you. Baseballs back. And it's better than ever. Hey, now, hey, now. Baseballs back. That was a good shot. I hit the lens perfectly. Tim, this week in almost a breakdown, we're going to the wide world of golf. Your guy Wesley Bryan, you're always talking about him. I like him and what he does out there. He hit a ball into the swamp lands of Jersey versus Springsteen wrecking ball, great song. Anyway, he hit a ball into the mud and instead of just like taking the strokes and dropping, he got down to a skivvy and he tied his shirt up like a little howl, like you make like a bikini out of your shirt, and you do that a ton, a ton almost like, almost like your natural reaction to put your shirt like that. He does that. And then he kind of like duffs the first shot and then has to do another shot. And I think tie up the shirt which again, in hindsight, that seems like. Wasn't necessary. He went a little far. Well, he was just doing it. Whenever I do that, I've gone a little far. He was just being cute. And when you break that first shot, it's over. Do you shoot your teeth? I think I shot directly my front teeth that just sprayed out. That was what I was nervous about. That was my tongue. That was your tongue and it just, I got some. It's just that hard backboard, I guess. It's a shooter. One to 10, the name Wesley Bryan. Three, two, one, zero. Yeah, I knew you were going to be bad. That's not bad, it's a bad name. You just setting me up to be a jerk. Yes. Okay, cool. All right. Lalalalalala. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, spit on me daddy. I think I'll have myself a bigger. More sports speaking of jerks and NFL ref. What happened? In NFL ref, that was in the NHL. He was in the NHL. He was doing an NHL sport. Tim Peel, his name, one to 10. Three, two, one, seven. Yeah, Tim Peel. Tim Peel's a great name, yes. Tim Peel. I hear Tim Peel. Is what his boss has told him? Get out of here, Tim Peel. You did. Do it for reset. All right, so there's NHL ref. Get out of here, Tim Peel. Tim Peel. Okay. So Tim Peel was caught on Mike saying, it wasn't much, but I wanted to get a fucking penalty against Nashville. It wasn't much, but I wanted to get a fucking penalty against Nashville. Basically saying, like, I just needed to get a penalty against them as a makeup call or a make good call, because there was a call earlier that wasn't much. I don't know. They fired him, but I'd love to see the group chat between all the NHL refs. Like, sorry, Timmy. Obviously, we all been there, but we can't publicly defend you because it's an unwritten rule of ref. If there's like three half-falls, and none of them have been called, then you got to call the next half-fall. So that's kind of what this guy did. I'm just very much caught up in the head of the NHL referees being an old Yosemite Sam type. Get out of here, Tim Peel. Let's move on to not sports, Jake. Environmental scientist has issued a warning that says, penises are shrinking because of pollution. Now, scientist Shanna Swan says, babies are being born. One, attend Shanna Swan. Three, two, one, four. Okay. Shanna Swan, babies are being born with smaller penises due to rising pollution levels. In her new book called Countdown, Dr. Swan writes that every member of humanity faces an existential crisis because of plummeting fertility rates. So, Shanna Swan, show me the data. Is there how are you comparing penises today of babies to penises of yesterday or of babies? Is my baby penis measurement on record somewhere? Have we been measuring baby penises for decades for her to compare and contrast? I don't think so. Nice to meet you, Tim Peel. I'm Shanna Swan, and I know baby Dix. You know what, I got a book idea. I'm gonna write about the declining size of baby penises. You're arrested. Yeah. Shanna, I try to do that. I'm in a lot of trouble, man. What are we talking about here? Baby Dix. How does the publishers allow this to go through? She does not have data. They have not been measuring baby penises for years. But they are, dude. You think so? Yeah, like they do a study and they say, oh, congrats on your baby. But you're thinking like they're small. They're doing a baby study. I'm assuming. So, like the differences in size here, it's not like we're gonna get like a nine incher and a four incher. We're talking about like millimeters. So if they are measuring them enough to see differences, like she's getting in there. Yeah, I mean, whenever, you never, if you're measuring a penis, you're getting in there. You're not, my God, middle school me. You think I was just getting a lazy five or a half and the bass down. You're in the bass down. You go around, yeah, you're jamming that down. Actually, three inches just from the fatness of the Fupa area. All right, anyway, lock Shanna Swan up. It's the employee of the week. It's the employee of the week. It's in a line. Giving it to Trevor Pluth because he's leaving California and he's coming to New York for opening day. And, you know, one of the softest men on the planet leaving one of the softest states and we applaud him for that. Those are gonna come back to bite ya. All that softness. Yeah, so in this episode, I ripped on Washington, Oregon, California, Shanna Swan, Trevor Pluth, Wesley Bryan's name, and Trevor Pluth, Tim Peele's bosses, no one's safe. That was a weekly dumb.