Upside-Down Map

Explanation:
This comic plays on the idea that maps with the south pole at the top will "change your perspective of the world". Most world maps orient north in the upward direction, placing the north pole as the top. Such an orientation is purely a matter of convention, as 'up' and 'down' don't apply in a planetary context. The north = up tradition probably emerged because most historical cartographers hailed from the northern hemisphere, and placed their own nations at the top. Some people and groups object that this convention subtly, but perniciously, advances the assumption that countries in the northern hemisphere are inherently more important than those in the southern hemisphere. This is especially sensitive because most of the wealthier and more powerful countries in the world are in the northern hemisphere, while relatively fewer southern hemisphere countries have as much wealth or global influence. Early maps had eastern Asia oriented at the top of the map, beyond Israel and the Holy Land in the middle, and western Europe at the bottom.
To remedy this, some advocate the use of maps with the south pole oriented at the top. Some want such maps in common use, while others simply use them to encourage people to rethink their assumptions about how the world should be seen. Such a map can easily be achieved by simply rotating a normal map 180 degrees, though the text labels would also be upside-down and harder to read. A Google Images search reveals many examples of upside-down maps with the text-oriented correctly for reading.
This map is a comedic play on such maps, where each landmass is in the same position it would be in a traditional north-top map but rotated 180 degrees (presumably around some central point of the landmass) to the orientation it would have in a south-top map. Such a map is, of course, almost completely useless in real life, because it completely distorts the relative positioning of the landmasses. Moreover, it keeps the northern countries at the top of the map, which means one of the chief complaints about traditional maps is unaddressed.
Note that individual islands are rotated about their own centers, rather than following the rotation of the neighboring continent; however, some are displaced as necessary to keep them from being overlapped by the rotated continents. For instance, Madagascar would be overlapped by the Sahara if it remained in position, but is instead displaced eastward to keep it in the Indian Ocean. On the other hand, all the islands of the Mediterranean Sea have disappeared under Asia .
Asia is so broad that almost the entire Indochinese Peninsula (with for instance Vietnam and Thailand ) has been rotated out of the top of the map. Similarly, the map omits Antarctica in the south.
To keep their familiar shapes on a rectangular map, the continents would also have to be heavily distorted compared to their actual shapes, becoming much narrower (along the lines of latitude) near the poles and wider towards the equator. See also 977: Map Projections .
The basic climates for several areas would be distinctly different. For example, the former Central America area would be in the arctic zone, while Siberia would be subtropical.
This arrangement of the world's landmasses would have great advantages for trade because there are (presumably navigable) straits between the Americas and between Africa and Asia, removing the need for the Panama Canal and the Suez Canal .
The title text references the fact that, in this new map, the UK is now next to Asia – specifically the Korean Peninsula . North Korea is mentioned in the text as having a history of hostile relations with nearby countries. However, on this map North Korea would be the part of Korea we today know as South Korea . Furthermore, Northern Ireland is now at the south of the island of Ireland , so the UK's full name would need to change to The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Southern Ireland. There have been several wars concerning the English Channel , mainly, but not only, between England and France . Likewise, there has been a history of animosity between Korea and Japan , separated by a similar body of water. Since, on this world map, a channel now exists between the UK and North Korea (the real world's South Korea) there could obviously have been many wars for the dominance over the said channel.
Along the same line of thinking, interesting speculations could be made about the following "new" facts:
[Map of the world with all the landmasses rotated upside-down.] [Four oceans and all the visible continents have been named in large letters in a bold font. The Pacific has been named both to the left and right. Several islands (large and small) have been designated with name but in grey and in a much smaller normal font. For all continents the names are written on them. For the island the name is written in the ocean except for Greenland.]
[Below the names on the map are given in the order they appear reading from left to right, first for the northern and then the southern hemisphere:]
[Northern hemisphere:] North America Cuba Greenland Atlantic Ocean Iceland UK Asia Sri Lanka Europe Arctic Ocean Taiwan Japan Pacific Ocean
[Southern hemisphere:] Pacific Ocean South America Tierra del Fuego Africa Indian Ocean Madagascar Indonesia Australia New Zealand
[Below the main frame:] This upside-down map will change your perspective on the world!
Map projections are also the subject of 977: Map Projections . In fact, if this comic was released later, it would certainly have "Bad Map Projection # n " on the top, and would be part of the category .


Mysteries

Explanation:
This comic shows a graph in which several "mysteries" are mentioned and placed on the graph according to how weird they are on the x-axis and the y-axis indicates whether Randall has an explanation or not for the mystery. Each item is listed in the table below .
Items near the top-right corner (such as the MH 370 disappearance) are both mysterious and strange. Items near the bottom-left corner (such as Randall's absent-mindedness regarding ice cream) have a clear explanation and are not really strange either. Items near the top-left corner (such as the meaning of You're So Vain ) are mysterious but not really strange. Items near the bottom-right corner (such as the Dyatlov Pass incident ) have a clear explanation but are quite strange.
The title text refers to the mystery of Randall staying up late to read Wikipedia articles, when he was already supposed to be asleep an hour ago. This is apparently not very unusual for him (see for instance 214: The Problem with Wikipedia ). And this mystery actually has an obvious explanation: Following up on an idea that eventually led to today's cartoon.
Some of these mysteries have already been explored in xkcd. See 950: Mystery Solved where Randall "solves" Amelia Earhart, Lost Roanoke Colony, Jimmy Hoffa; 593: Voynich Manuscript ; and 1400: D.B. Cooper .
Note that Randall uses similar diagrams in both 388: Fuck Grapefruit , 1242: Scary Names and 2466: In Your Classroom , which also contain different items. The first two also have an extra point, and the last two extra points mentioned in the title text. But all these points are in the title text because they are far off the chart, whereas in this comic it's the description of the point that is too long to fit on the chart. Extra info outside the chart is also used in the title text of 1785: Wifi , but this is a line graph.
The X axis in the graph indicates weirdness. The table assumes that the item to the far left is 0% (not that weird) and the item to the far right is 100% (weird as hell). The Y axis indicates if Randall has an explanation. The table assumes that the item at the bottom is 100% (Randall has a clear explanation) and the item at the top is 0% (Randall has no explanation).
[In a frame at the top left of the panel:] Mysteries
[A chart with two crossing lines with double arrows. Each arrow is labeled:] X-axis left: Not that weird X-axis right: Weird as Hell Y-axis top: I have no explanation Y-axis bottom: Explanation seems pretty clear
[In the chart there are 22 bullets. Each bullet is labeled. Below the labels are given from top to bottom in each of the four quadrants of the chart:]
[Top left quadrant:] Who Carly Simon is singing about in You're So Vain UVB-76 Lindbergh baby Toynbee tiles Jimmy Hoffa
[Top right quadrant:] MH370 Lead Masks Case DB Cooper The Wow signal Salish Sea feet Mary Celeste
[Bottom left quadrant:] Voynich manuscript JFK Why I keep putting ice cream back in the fridge instead of the freezer Oak Island Money Pit
[Bottom right quadrant:] Zodiac letters Amelia Earhart Lost Colony Kentucky meat shower Bigfoot Loch Ness Monster Dyatlov Pass incident


Wasted Time

Explanation:
In this comic, White Hat is pointing out to Cueball that his obsession with efficiency is inconsistent, something that is likely true of many people who claim to prize efficiency.
Here, Cueball raves about his new mobile keyboard which allows him to type 30% faster than his old keyboard. He notes that people (presumably himself particularly) do a lot of mobile typing, and a 30% reduction in the time that takes would allow more time for other activities.
White Hat, on the other hand, mocks Cueball for caring so much about mobile typing speed, suggesting that this may not be the first time Cueball has obsessed over minor improvements in efficiency. White Hat also notes that he's just seen Cueball open and close Google News five times without reading anything, providing an example of how Cueball's other actions do not embody the same commitment to efficiency that he claims to have.
Cueball defends himself by saying that, since he wastes so much time, it's that much more important to improve efficiency in his life to make more time for important matters. The title text (presumably White Hat's reply) counters this defense by suggesting that Cueball may be better off using a slower keyboard, so that he will have less time to waste on stupid activities. This type of argument may be an example of a logical fallacy argument which suggests, perhaps incorrectly, that Cueball should spend less time doing stupid things to the extent that he spends longer doing things he already does.
Interestingly, in this comic, White Hat appears as the voice of reason to Cueball, an inversion of their typical dynamic (see for instance 1386: People are Stupid and 1459: Documents ). The role-reversal may be an acknowledgment that while Cueball may often make a fool of White Hat, he's far from perfect himself.
Randall 's misadventures in time management are a recurring topic (see 874: Time Management and the Time management category ).
Mobile keyboard efficiency was previously tangentially referenced in 1068: Swiftkey , and Randall's habit of opening news sites only to quickly get bored or distracted was shown in 1411: Loop .
[Cueball holding his smartphone in both hands is talking to White Hat.] Cueball: This new keyboard is like 30% faster! I'm never going back.
[White hat replies and Cueball lifts his arms.] White Hat: Good, put those years of horror behind you. Cueball: C'mon. Sure, sometimes my focus on efficiency doesn't make sense. But we type a lot .
[Cueball holding his smartphone in one hand while talking to White Hat.] Cueball: That 30% improvement pretty quickly adds up to a huge amount of wasted time rescued.
[White hat replies and Cueball lifts one arm.] White Hat: I just watched you open Google News and then close it without reading it five times in a row. Cueball: The fact that I spend most of my time so stupidly only makes it more important not to waste any here.


Squirrel Plan

Explanation:
These particular squirrels are ambitious but misguided, like the characters in the myth of Icarus and Daedalus (it should be noted that Randall does not see it that way, as seen in the bottom of "Interplanetary Cessna" ), or the Tower of Babel . The squirrels' understanding of astrophysics is lacking, regarding the distance to the sun and appropriate transportation to reach it in addition to the need to resist the sun's heat and exist in the vacuum of space. Their belief that the sun is made of acorns reflects their uniquely acorn-focused worldview, a reference to the tendency of real-life squirrels to gather and store acorns as winter food, as well as their single-minded dedication to overcoming obstacles (even elaborately-constructed obstacle courses ) for the sake of obtaining nuts.
The title text reveals that "halfway to the sun," 75 million kilometers from all known acorns in our universe, the airborne squirrel seems to jeopardize the entire mission because he wants to test if the balloon itself is full of acorns. Basic observational skills will tell anyone that acorns do not float [ citation needed ] , but the idea follows the logic stated by the squirrels:  If the sun, being so magnificent, must be full of acorns, then a balloon powerful enough to take a squirrel to the sun must also be powered by something amazing, like acorns. Obviously, neither the sun or balloons are filled with acorns [ citation needed ] .
Usage of balloons for space travel is a prominent motif in early science fiction; see, for example, " The Unparalleled Adventure of One Hans Pfaall " by Edgar Allan Poe.
[There are three squirrels.  One is suspended from a balloon. The other two are sitting on the ground, looking up at it.]
Squirrel to the right: Once you've chewed a hole in the Sun, shoot the balloon to fall back to earth, then pull the parachute ripcord to land.
Squirrel tied to balloon: Are you sure it's full of acorns?
Squirrel to the right: Look how bright and magnificent it is! What else could be in there?


Opportunity

Explanation:
This comic is talking about the robotic science platform Opportunity . On January 25, 2004, the Opportunity rover landed on the surface of Mars for the purpose of gathering data about the surface of Mars. Opportunity has proven remarkably robust, and the comic extrapolates the rover's resilience to absurdity for comedic effect. As of Feb 12th, 2019, the Opportunity rover has finally been declared dead after 5352 Sols (Mars Days) or 5500 Earth days on Mars. On Feb 13th, 2019, Randall eulogies the Opportunity Rover in 2111: Opportunity Rover .
The comic depicts the two scientists Ponytail and Hairbun at ground control being amazed at this fact already in 2010, and (maybe the same two) scientists continue to discuss this in 2015 in the second panel.
They mention another Martian rover, Spirit that was also sent to Mars on the same date as Opportunity. Unfortunately, it became stuck and a sandstorm covered its solar panels. On March 22, 2010, it was thought that Spirit's batteries finally ran out, marking the end of its mission. This was covered in 695: Spirit , in which the Spirit rover is also portrayed with an anthropomorphic personality.
In 2023, Opportunity is still moving despite having supposedly no power source. It also became aggressive and deactivated the Perseverance rover sent in 2020 . Cueball and Megan can't explain how it moves, but investigating is now too dangerous. This evolution is similar to the stories of HAL 9000 (from 2001: A Space Odyssey ) and V'Ger (from Star Trek: The Motion Picture ), both of which became dangerous to human beings.
By 2450, humans have colonized and terraformed Mars. Maybe it is the 2023 Cueball and Megan's descendants that are looking out over their huge "kingdom" from the capital on Mars. However Opportunity is by now dominating half of the planet and will not allow humans to enter its dark reign.
"Everything the light touches" is a reference to a line by Mufasa in The Lion King . Mufasa's son Simba then asks "What about that shadowy place?" and Mufasa tells him "That is beyond our borders. You must never go there". This was used again in 1608: Hoverboard , where Cueball tells the same line to Ponytail in the left part of the world. In " what if " "Sunset on the British Empire" , concerning the end of the sun shining on the British Empire, Cueball tells a child that everything the light touches is their kingdom, and the child asks (in the title text) "What about that shadowy place over there?" to which Cueball replies (also in the title text), "That's France. We'll get it one of these days."
The title text forecasts the first words of the first astronauts on the surface of Mars. At first, the astronaut copies the first words of Neil Armstrong on the Moon ("That's one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind") but it is interrupted by the Opportunity rover. Opportunity has a drill to collect Martian rock samples, but here it is heavily suggested that the drill is being used as a weapon against the astronaut.
[The year (or year and first sentence) for each panel is written in a small frame at the top of each panel. It breaks the top frame of the panels.]
[Ponytail is sitting at a computer, facing left. Hairbun stands behind her.] 2010: Ponytail: After six years, Spirit is down, but Opportunity is still going strong. Hairbun: Tough little rover!
[Opportunity traveling on Mars. Text is written in frames with zigzag lines] 2015: Off-screen: Eleven years, wow. Off-screen 2: Wasn't the original mission 90 days? Off-screen: This is starting to get weird.
[Cueball and Megan sitting at a computer, facing right.] 2023: Cueball: The battery is totally disconnected. How can it still be moving?? Megan: Given what it did to the Mars 2020 rover, we may never know.
[Two Martian inhabitants looking like Cueball and Megan stands on a cliff edge pointing towards a dark, mountainous region. Behind them are a tower and a hover car] 2450, terraformed Mars, Martian imperial capital: Martian Cueball: Everything the light touches is our kingdom. Martian Megan: What's that dark area? Martian Cueball: That is Opportunity's half of the planet. We must never go there.


Ontological Argument

Explanation:
Ontology is the study of being , reality , and existence . “The ontological argument ” is an attempt at proving the existence of God through reasoning about the nature of “being”.
Megan 's statement in the comic is likely a reference to what is considered the first ontological argument, that of 11th Century philosopher Anselm of Canterbury . His argument starts by defining God as “that than which nothing greater can be conceived ”. Another step in the argument is that you can conceive of such a being even if you don't believe it exists. Yet another step is the statement that a being, of which one can conceive, and which exists, is certainly greater than a being of which one can conceive and which does not exist. Implicit in the argument are two essential premises, both of which are controversial.  These are a) that the existence of such a being is possible, and b) that existence is a great-making quality.
The comic makes fun of Anselm's ontological argument by extending to absurdity the claim that a being who exists is greater than one who does not exist, and that therefore God must exist. A God who can disprove the ontological argument must be greater than one who cannot disprove the ontological argument, therefore the ontological argument proves the existence of a God that disproves it. This argument, though a joke, carries some weight. If Anselm's argument is sound, then disproving it is impossible, and God cannot do it.  But if doing things is a great-making quality (a common assumption), then surely doing impossible things would be an even stronger great-making quality. Therefore the argument is able to be disproven, albeit only by God, which contradicts the initial premise that the argument is sound. Therefore, either doing things is not great-making, or the entire ontological argument is invalid reasoning.
The title text carries the absurdity a step further.
The comic also may be drawing an analogy to the omnipotence paradox , as it also refers to the idea that God's power would be greater if He could do the logically impossible. If Randall believes that Anselm's ontological argument is logically sound and based on true premises, then he should think it is impossible to disprove. Therefore, he references the omnipotence paradox by requiring that God do such an impossible thing in order to have maximally great power.
A popular parody of the ontological argument is that of Richard Dawkins , in his best-selling book “ The God Delusion ”. His parody is a version of the argument which attempts to prove that God does not exist. It is similar in approach to this comic and to the omnipotence paradox, in that it also requires a God that can do the logically impossible. In Dawkins' version— borrowed from the Australian philosopher Douglas Gasking —God's greatness is demonstrated by his creation of the world. A being that somehow overcomes the great handicap of not existing and goes on to create the world would certainly be greater than a being that exists and creates the world. Therefore God, who by definition is “that than which nothing greater can be conceived”, must not exist.
Another, rather more famous parody, but which is entirely unrelated to the comic in approach, is that of Gaunilo of Marmoutiers , in which he argues for the existence of a maximally great island. This parody, added to the comic, seems to tell us what happened to the legendary Atlantis . It is worth noting that Anselm himself rebutted Gaunilo's argument, claiming that it was based on a fundamental misunderstanding of Anselm's original argument.
Not all ontological arguments for the existence of God rely on the notion that a God that exists is greater than one that does not exist. Examples include the modal ontological argument from Alvin Plantinga , and Gödel's ontological proof . Graham Oppy , an authority on ontological arguments, attempts to classify here what exactly makes arguments ontological; he concludes that it is that they are a priori in nature. He also classifies them into eight categories: definitional , conceptual, modal, Meinongian , experiential , mereological , higher order, and Hegelian .
This comic, in particular in the way Megan and Cueball are walking and in its reference to theology, greatly resembles the earlier comic 1315: Questions for God .
[Megan and Cueball are walking side-by-side.] Megan: ...but wouldn't a God who could find a flaw in the ontological argument be even greater?


xkcloud

Explanation:
This was the sixth April fools' comic released by Randall . The previous fools comic was 1350: Lorenz from Tuesday April 1st 2014. The next was 1663: Garden scheduled for release Friday April 1st 2016, but in the end released on Monday April 4th 2016.
In this interactive April Fools' Day comic Cueball , presumably representing Randall , admits to the readers he built a flimsy cloud services company using spare computers and parts. Included in the cloud hardware are (from left to right) a Macintosh , several old laptops, an Alienware tower, a Nintendo VirtualBoy , an old desktop with the cover off, and an Atari Pong Console .
He named the company after xkcd, xkcloud being a portmanteau of " xkcd " and " cloud ", here pronounced XK-cloud. The portmanteau incidentally still contains all four xkcd letters in the correct order: xkcLOUd. This was later reused for the xkcd keyboard in 2150: XKeyboarCD , where the word Keyboard, has an X before the word and a C before the D with the xkcd letters capitalized.
After providing his services to various (very big) companies ( Facebook , Twitter and Tumblr ), that are very concerned with securing the users data, his setup failed (some portions may even have caught fire? He is not sure). This has caused him to lose the data he was required to preserve as part of his service. He thus requests the readers help to make up and re-imagine the lost data by pressing the large red button at the bottom of the comic. Preferably before Facebook & Co notice we lost it.
If you take him up on his request and push the button, you will be taken to a "survey" where you will get the chance to help by either trying to combine a posted picture with its lost text or, vice versa, by trying to combine a posted text with its lost picture. In either case you get a selection of texts/pictures to choose from but can also choose to write your own text or even draw the picture. After doing this you get to see this combination in the news feed together with several other posts (which other people have helped combine from other lost data). And then you can continue helping as long as you like.
The content of the "surveys" appear to come from reader submissions, and are different upon every click. This is thus both an interactive and a dynamic comic with only the first picture shown on top of this page. By inviting the xkcd readers to add content that will be displayed in the comic later, the result of all the interactions leads to the generation of crowd-sourced content .
It was not immediately clear if the reader-created drawings or captions are, in fact, being cycled into the surveys and feeds, or if the displayed items were all created by Randall and the reader-created content is simply discarded. With the huge amount of different comments and drawings that already appeared on the first day, and since especially the drawings look like they are created in the simple Paint app (i.e. not by Randall), there can be no doubt that most of the content is created by the users. However he must have made some pictures to get it all started, and at least one of these can be seen here .
This comic resembles last years April Fools' comic 1350: Lorenz where user input also generated a very complex crowd-sourced comic. In both comics it was possible to create a permalink to save a given version of the comic to share with others.
An earlier comic was also related to problems with cloud computing: 908: The Cloud .
Due to the very complex nature of this comic, there are lots of details that may need an explanation. This can be found in the sections below.
On every of the pages after the front page Cueball sits at his desk labeled XKCD.COM Below him are xkcloud's policy: Our policy regarding your personal data :
As can be seen he is getting desperate because people keep sending them more data. He has no place to store it. And he do not even know who the data belongs to. So now he hopes someone else recognize the data (what you are doing if you choose to help). In the end he simply pleads for people to stop and then shouts Help . If you click on the desk you are sent back to the front page of the comic. But below Help is their real contact detail Don't contact us :
We are open for anyone to chat here. Hey you! Come right over and say hello to us! ~ euphoria.io/room/xkcd
[This transcript only transcribes what can be seen in the first picture shown at the top of the explanation here. For more see link below.]
[One large frame with a five part comic and a large red button at the bottom.] [Cueball sitting behind a desk.] Cueball: We've made a huge mistake. Desk: XKCD.COM
[Cueball stands and indicates a motley collection of computers and related equipment strewn around the desk.] Cueball: I figured starting a cloud services company would be easy. Cueball: After all, I've got tons of computers!
[A zoomed view on Cueballs head.] Cueball: Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr— they all struggle to protect privacy and user data... Cueball: And we offered a solution. Cueball: I forget what it was, though.
[Cueball is standing with his arms up.] Cueball: Anyway, long story short, we screwed up immediately and lost tons of their data. Cueball: Also a bunch of stuff is literally on fire?
[Cueball standing behind a desk.] Cueball: We can fix this. Cueball: But we need your help. Desk: XKCD.COM
[Below the above is a large red rectangular clickable button, that will take the reader on to the interactive part of the comic. On the button it says in large white letters:] CLICK HERE To help us recover user data before Facebook & Co notice we lost it.
[The standard text for the next possible pages can be seen on the link to the continued transcript . Also here will be a list (which may not be possible to make complete) with possible text for the lost data.]


Metaball

Explanation:
In the first two panels of this game Megan kicks a football (also known as a soccer ball in some regions), but the surprise comes in the next panel when it turns out she tried to kick it into a basketball hoop where Cueball is either trying to catch, stop or dunk the ball. Hairbun is also reaching an arm up after the ball. But then Ponytail yells " Out! ". When Megan asks Ponytail why the ball is out, Ponytail explains it is due to the infield fly rule that was invoked when the ball crossed into the baseball zone - a very complicated rule to understand for baseball outsiders.
They are playing a ball game that incorporates the rules of many games that use a ball . The rules seem to be based on the location of the ball . Ponytail is holding a map which divides the area into zones. Each time the ball enters a new zone, the rules change to become the rules of the ball game represented in that zone.
The name "Metaball" is the combination of the prefix " meta " and the word " ball ". Not long before this comic there was another comic with "meta" in the title: 1447: Meta-Analysis . The entire joke is meta in 917: Hofstadter .
Megan is out according to the rules of baseball, because the football that she initially kicked in the football zone in an attempt to score in the basketball hoop (in the basketball zone), clipped the corner of the baseball zone. And suddenly her high kick turned into a pop fly and Ponytail (presumably the referee (and creator/ruler) of this game) invoked the infield fly rule which forces the batter out. In this case that would be the kicker Megan as she is the last to have touched the ball.
In baseball the infield fly rule can be invoked by the umpire (i.e. the referee in baseball, Ponytail in this case), to prevent an infielder from intentionally dropping a fair ball when runners are on multiple bases, forcing the runners on base to advance and allowing the infielder's team to quickly perform a double or triple play by throwing the ball to where the runners are trying to get and performing force out on their base. The infield fly rule, once called out by the umpire, forces the batter to be out whether or not the infielder tries to get the batter out. While complicated, and difficult for outsider to understand, the rule has been in baseball for a long time and makes sense in context.
The title text continues the comic. After Megan is ruled out, even though Cueball misses the catch, the ball now enters the golf section of the field, meaning that the players would have to hit the ball into a golf hole to score. Given that the ball is much larger than a standard golf ball, this would prove difficult. However, before they get this far, the situation changes as the ball rolls into a separate section of the field called the ice hazard.
On a golf course a hazard is either a bunker (with sand) or a water hazard . If the latter type freezes over it could be called an ice hazard. However, in this Metaball game this section of the course is apparently used to play some form of ice hockey . And since the game has been held up when Megan was called out, they will now have to restart the game with a face-off (a skirmish between two players of opposing teams to restart the game). It can be argued that an ice hockey puck can be considered a ball, since ice hockey has evolved from, and is a variation of, older stick-and-ball games. And since they play both baseball, basketball and golf with the association football, they could also continue playing ice hockey with this ball instead of a puck.
For the record there are several other versions of hockey that are played with a ball ( ball hockey for instance) and at least one of these is played on ice (see broomball ). In these games face-offs are also used. It seems likely that Randall has chosen some of the most popular sports of the US - and then used a soccer/football instead of an American football .
Given the timing of this comic with the US collegiate basketball tournament , we may assume Randall is writing as a response to that. He has previously given an opinion on sports (see for instance 904: Sports , 1107: Sports Cheat Sheet and 1480: Super Bowl ).
This concept is very similar to Calvinball from the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes by American cartoonist Bill Watterson .
[Megan runs towards a bouncing soccer football.]
[Megan kicks the soccer football upwards.]
[Cueball leaps towards the ball as it falls towards a basketball hoop. Hairbun also stretches her arm up.] Ponytail (offscreen): Out!
[Ponytail walks toward them consulting a piece of paper divided in sections:] [Megan (offscreen):] What do you mean , out?! Ponytail: The ball clipped the corner of the baseball zone. Infield fly rule. [Megan (offscreen):] Aw, maaan ...


Operating Systems

Explanation:
In this comic, Randall gives an overview of the past, present and (speculatively) future of the operating systems running in his house at any given time. Notably, because Randall is fascinated by technology, he has had more than one OS running in his household since the mid '90's. The timeline tracks how Operating Systems have come and gone over the years, and the gradual shift from desktop Operating Systems to mobile can be observed. Beyond the present day, we see some of Randall's humorous predictions as to which technologies and companies will dominate the Operating System landscape in the future.
It may be that the OS that is closest to the time-line is also the one he mainly uses during these extended periods.
Previous and current systems:
His predictions for the future include:
The title text refers to Richard Stallman , the founder of the Free Software movement and the GNU and Hurd projects. A survivor of the fire that ended the human civilization has uncovered a slightly burned ( singed ) picture of him. Those gathered can see, either directly from the picture or because they already know of Stallman, that this was a man that really believed in something. In this case it was free software . Inspired by his image, they rebuild their lost civilization and finish Hurd development.
The GNU/Hurd reference might also be a pun, as in a "herd" of Gnus "running" in his living room, as wild animals reclaim the Earth after the end of human civilization.
GNU is a collection of free software utilities, particularly the system utilities used with the Linux Kernel to form the Linux operating system (often called GNU/Linux by those who wish to emphasize the contribution of the GNU project). Hurd is an operating system kernel designed as part of GNU project that could be used in place of the Linux kernel to produce a complete GNU operating system. Hurd has a microkernel architecture, which has many perceived advantages over Linux's monolithic kernel, and is thought by many to be technically superior, despite its low adoption rate compared to the Linux kernel.
Randall has made several comics about free software and also about Stallman. See this list of comics featuring Richard Stallman . Most of these are also about free software in some form.
[All text is in capitals.  At the top of the panel:] Operating Systems running in my house
[At the bottom there is time-line that runs from 1990 to 2066. It has small indicators for every year, larger for every 5 years and largest for every 10 years. Below the 10 year indicators are written the years. Also the year 2015 is marked:] 1990 2000 2010 Now 2020 2030 2040 2050 2060
[Bars above the time-line in four levels are labeled with operating system names, representing the time period for that OS. Below is a list of the bars on the time-line in order of first appearance (with approximate year ranges given). Also the level from 1-4 is indicated, with level 1 just above the time-line and level 4 the highest level above the line:]
[Level 1 from 1988 to 1998 (extends a little left past the beginning of the time-line but not off panel):] MS DOS [Level 2 from 1993 to 2007:] Windows [Level 3 from 1994 to 2001:] Mac OS [Level 1 from 1999 to 2018:] Linux [Level 2 from 2009 to 2023. On the way the bar merges with iOS around 2018 thru 2022:] OS X [Level 3 from 2009 to 2016:] Android [Level 4 from 2013 to 2022. On the way to 2022 the bar moves down past Android to merge with OS X after 2018:] iOS [Level 1 from 2018 to 2028. The text is written in square brackets:] [Something].js [Level 3 from 2022 to 2029:] TinderOS [Level 2 from 2023 to 2032:] Nest [Level 1 from 2028 to 2041:] Elon Musk Project: [Level 3 from 2030 to 2036:] DOS, but ironically [Level 2 from 2034 to 2041:] Blood Drone [This is not a bar, but the text (in three lines) is in a double bar-height (level 1-2) square bracket. The bracket extends from 2042 to 2051:] [Human civilization ends in fire] [Level 1 from 2059 going past the end of the panel past 2066:] GNU/Hurd


Scenery Cheat Sheet

Explanation:
In this comic Randall jokes that large areas of the continental (mainland) United States can be characterized by the locations of a single movie. Especially in the Midwest, there are several very large areas that he describes with just one film. The map is the most detailed in the northeast , which is where Randall lives.
The map is divided into the 48 states of the mainland by thin gray lines. On top of these are drawn black lines that divide the map into 50 sections. (A 51st section is located in the Atlantic Ocean.) Inside each section is at least one reference that is supposed to describe the entire area encompassed by the section. In most cases it is the title of a movie (or two to three titles), but it could also be more general specter of movies (all movies with a big budget, or those with whose title is an east coast city name) or it could even be a book/song that describes the relevant area.
The map's heading describes the idea behind it; if you know this and the relevant movies, you can use it to determine where you are by comparing your knowledge of the movies with the scenery you can see from where you stand. Below the heading, the two groups of people who will get the most use out of this sheet are listed. The first is "GeoGuessrs". GeoGuessr is a game using Google Street View images, which drops the player in a random location and challenges them to work out where they are. (It was previously referenced in 1214: Geoguessr ). The second group is "crash-landed astronauts". Obviously, if you've just crash-landed on Earth, knowing your location would be very helpful.
Some entries (for instance, Groundhog Day ) reflect the locations where the stories are set, and others (like Dances with Wolves ) reflect where they were filmed. Others are even more detached, as it is the sceneries from the movie that resembles a given place, even though it is neither filmed there or takes place there. It could also be a cartoon, which is of course only set in an imaginary world that may resemble the real world.
The title text references Anton Chigurh (portrayed by Javier Bardem ), who is the main antagonist of the film No Country For Old Men . In this case he would have taken over the role of Wile E. Coyote , and would thus hunt down The Road Runner at the boundary between the sections for these two movies, which would be somewhere in the New Mexico desert.
[Above the frame is the following text.] A cheat sheet for figuring out where in the US you are by recognizing the background from movies (for use by GeoGuessr players and crash-landed astronauts)
[In the frame is a map of the mainland USA with the 48 mainland states lined out in thin gray lines. All areas on the map have been enclosed in sections divided by curved black lines. These sections sizes goes from encompassing several states down to just a small section of a single state. The sections cover the entire USA without any holes. There is also one section in the Atlantic Ocean. All sections are labeled. If the section is large enough the text stands inside, if it is too small, the text is outside and an arrow will point to the relevant section
[Here below all the text on the map (mainly film titles) will be transcribed from top to bottom and (when possible) by going through the columns that seems to appear in the sections when going from left to right. The State Postal Codes will be used when referring to the states covered by each section]
[Small section covering the west coast around the state border between WA and OR, which is surrounded on three sides by the next section mentioned below. It is labeled with an arrow:] The Goonies [Large section covering WA, OR and top of CA. The section has two titles, with the second one standing with smaller font below the first:] Twilight 50 Shades of Grey [Small section around San Francisco, CA:] Zodiac [Very tiny section covering only Alcatraz off the coast of San Francisco, CA. It lies inside section mentioned above. It is labeled with an arrow:] The Rock [Large section covering most of MT as well as part of WY, SD and NE. The section has two titles:] Dances with Wolves Starship Troopers [Medium section covering most of  ID and part of MT:] Napoleon Dynamite [Medium section covering part of OR, ID, NV and UT:] The Sandlot [Medium section mainly covering the top part of NV:] Wild Wild West [Medium section covering most of NV and small part of CA. The section has two titles, with the second one standing with smaller font below the first plus description:] Top Gun & the part of Independence Day where Will Smith crashes [Small section covering central CA:] That movie about wine & talking [Medium section covering a large part of the southern part of CA around Hollywood, Los Angeles:] Every movie with a big budget, explosions or someone who says "cool!" [Medium section covering half of WY and small parts of UT and CO:] Brokeback Mountain [Medium section covering part of WY, CO and NE. The part in parenthesis in a smaller font:] Oregon Trail (the only part I ever got to) [Large section covering small part of UT and the half bottom of UT and CO and top half of AZ and NM:] Roadrunner cartoons [Medium section covering a small part of the southern CA and small part of AZ. The part beneath the title in a smaller font:] The Truman Show, but with desert as the background [Small part at the bottom of AZ. The section has two titles:] Tombstone & The Mask of Zorro [Large section covering the a small part of AZ, the bottom half of NM as well as a third of TX:] No Country for Old Men [Large section covering all of ND, most of MN, half of SD and a small part of MT:] Fargo [Medium section covering most of NE and small parts of MN and IA. The section has three titles. The top two are marked with a square bracket to the left. The text of this given before the third title:] Interstellar Star Trek (2009) ] Earth parts Field of Dreams [Medium section covering large parts of IA, MO and IL:] The Music Man [Medium section covering mainly KS, but also a small part of Co and OK:] The Wizard of Oz [Medium section covering most of OK and small part of MO and AR:] Twister [Medium section covering the top part of TX and small parts of OK and AR:] True Grit [Large section covering a third of TX  (the eastern part all the way down) and small parts of AR and LA. The section has three titles:] Office Space Dazed and Confused Kill Bill [Small section around and below Chicago, IL, which is surrounded on three sides by the next large section mentioned below. It is labeled with an arrow:] Blues Brothers [Very small section almost a circle centered around Detroit, MI completely inside the section here below. It is labeled with an arrow:] 8 Mile [Large section covering all of WI, MI, IN and OH as well as parts of IL and KY. That is except for the two small sections described above, which are inlaid in this one. There are two items in this section. The one below is in smaller font:] A Christmas Story &That song about Jack and Diane [Medium section covering half of AR, small parts of IL and MO as well as bits of  KY, TN and MS:] Anything by Mark Twain [Medium section covering half of TN and part of KY:] Walk the Line [Large section covering all of AL most of MS and half of GA. There are two titles in this section:] Big Fish O Brother Where Art Thou [Small section covering top of LA and small part of MS:] Duck Dynasty [Medium section covering the bottom half of LA and the very bottom of MS. There is a very small section at the bottom of LA that are not included in this but in the next. There are two titles in this section:] Princess and the Frog All Dogs go to Heaven [Small section covering the very eastern end of the bottom of LA – maybe including New Orleans. It is labeled with an arrow:] Beasts of the Southern Wild [Medium section covering half of PA and western part NY:] Groundhog Day [Small section covering the middle part of VA as well as small parts of PA, MD and WV:] Dirty Dancing [Medium section covering most of WV, half of TN, a small parts of KY as well as tiny bits of VA, NC and GA:] October Sky [Large section covering all of SC, most of NC as well as half of VA and GA. There are two titles in this section:] Gone with the Wind Forrest Gump [Large section covering most of FL except the bottom part which are covered by the next two sections:] The Truman Show [Small section covering the very bottom of FL except the east coast. It is labeled with an arrow:] Adaptation [Small section covering the very bottom the east coast of FL. It is labeled with an arrow:] Miami Vice [Small section covering most of the top of VT and a small part of NY. It is labeled with an arrow:] Super Troopers [Small section covering the central part of NY.] My Side of the Mountain (book) [Small section covering the eastern part of NY, western part of MA, top part of CT as well as bits of VT and RI.:] War of the Worlds (2005) [Small section covering the eastern part of PA and small bits of NY and MD. There are two titles in this section:] Signs & The Village [Medium section covering several large cities of the east coast including New York City, Philadelphia and Washington, DC. It covers most of DE and NJ and large parts of MD (with DC) and the bit of NY with the city. The text is not a title and the it is written in square brackets…:] [Generic city] [Small section covering the east coast along VA and NC, but also with small bits of MD and DE at the top:] Deep Impact [Medium section covering all of ME, the top tip of NH and eastern top of VT:] Pet Semetary [Small section covering the most of the bottom parts of NH and VT:] What about Bob [Very small section surrounding Boston in MA. It is labeled with an arrow:] The Departed [Small section covering the east coast along MA, RI, CT and NJ:] Jaws [Large section off the east coast in the Atlantic Ocean:] The Hunt for Red October


Napoleon

Explanation:
Napoleon Bonaparte was one of the greatest military leaders in history, conquering most of Europe in the space of a decade. In 1814, after being forced to abdicate as Emperor of the French, he was exiled to the island of Elba . However, in February 1815 Napoleon escaped back to France, quickly raised an army, and overthrew the Bourbon Restoration monarchy for a period known as The Hundred Days . At the end of this period (actually lasting 111 days), Napoleon was defeated by British and Prussian forces at the Battle of Waterloo , and surrendered a month later. This time he was exiled to Saint Helena , an island much more remote than Elba—in fact, one of the most remote places on Earth.
In reality, Napoleon made no serious attempts to escape Saint Helena, although Admiral Thomas Cochrane reports in his memoirs that while on his way to lead the fledgling Chilean Navy in their revolution against Spain he intended to stop at St. Helena in order to free Napoleon and put him in charge of all the South American rebel armies. In the event, before he arrived at the island he learned that Napoleon had died there, six years after his surrender. However, this comic imagines a world in which Napoleon escaped once again, swimming back to Europe. Saint Helena is 2,000 km (1,200 mi.) from the Afro-Eurasian landmass, making such a swim rather implausible, especially considering the ball and chain around his ankle. And Napoleon is depicted fresh out of the water, suggesting that he did not simply swim to Africa and make his way back to Europe, but rather swam straight to Europe, a journey of roughly 6,100 km (3,800 mi.).
The comic implies that Napoleon proves impossible to confine, despite escalating attempts to send him to more remote locations and apply increasingly confining restraints (handcuffs, then adding a ball and chain on one ankle, then chaining the ball to both ankles). In addition to being able to swim impossible distances, he seems to also somehow escape imprisonment in the ice of Antarctica. He also seems to be immortal (or well-preserved by the ice of Antarctica), remaining alive and apparently in great physical condition while nearly 200 years old. The final panel shows U.S. President John F. Kennedy 's " We choose to go to the Moon " speech, but implies an alternate ending to the line "not because it is easy, but because it is hard." Rather, it appears that we choose to go to the Moon not because it is easy, but because it will be hard for Napoleon to return.
The title text is an apparent conversation between President Richard Nixon and an aide. Nixon is asked what we will do if we fail to maroon Napoleon on the Moon, and replies "Have Safire write up a speech." This is a reference to Nixon speechwriter William Safire , who wrote the draft speech "In Event of Moon Disaster" , to have been delivered by Nixon should the Apollo 11 astronauts be stranded on the Moon. This comic thus proposes an inversion of the actual scenario—instead of Nixon delivering Safire's speech because someone's been stranded on the moon, in this comic he'd be delivering it if someone weren't stranded on the moon. "In Event of Moon Disaster" was also the topic of 1484: Apollo Speeches , published two months before this comic.
In the title text of 1291: Shoot for the Moon the idea of missing the Moon, and ending up orbiting the Sun is the subject.
[Two Cueball-like soldiers with guns present Napoleon (recognizable by his Napoleon hat, aka a bicorne ) to an officer sitting behind his desk. The officer is pointing at Napoleon who has a small chain on his hands.] Soldier at the front: This is Napoleon. He tried to take over the world. Officer Cueball: Exile him to Elba!
[Three Cueball-like soldiers with guns present Napoleon again to the same officer sitting behind his desk. The officer has one hand held in front of him with his palm up. This time Napoleon has a larger chain on his hands and a ball and chain on his right leg. His head and hat is battered from the battle.] Soldier at the front: It's us again. Napoleon escaped from Elba and tried to conquer the world. Again. Officer Cueball: Send him someplace truly remote, like Saint Helena. Soldier at the front: Yes, sir.
[At the top of the panel is a text in a frame that breaks the panel's frame:] Several Years Later...
[Four Cueball-like soldiers with guns (one partly outside the frame) stand behind Napoleon and one more soldier stands in front of him as they again present him to the same officer. The officer is now standing behind his desk, holding it with one hand while the other is pointing up in the air. This time Napoleon has a octopus on his head, is dripping wet, still has the larger chain on his hands and the ball and chain on his right leg. Furthermore his legs are shackled. There are pools of water on the floor.] Soldier at the front: Well, he swam back. Officer Cueball: We must mount an expedition to the South Pole, where we will encase Napoleon in the Antarctic ice!"
[At the top of the panel is a text in a frame that breaks the panel's frame:] A century later...
[President Kennedy is giving a speech standing on a podium behind a lectern, while Napoleon is standing behind him with the same restraining devices as before. Napoleon now has icicles dangling from his hat and a small piece of ice on his right leg around the knee.] President Kennedy: We choose to go to the moon, not because it is easy...


Spice Girl

Explanation:
The Spice Girls are a British pop girl group formed in 1994. It consists of five girls who each have a "spice girl" nickname. The five girls with their respective nicknames are:
In 1554: Spice Girls he shows how difficult it is to remember these five names...
This is one example of a trend of online quizzes that would "identify" the user with one person/personality of a group based on a series of personality questions. This will most often concern which member of a band, TV cast/film cast or character from books, etc. the quiz taker most resembles. In this comic it is specifically Spice girl quizzes that are the subject.
In this comic, Randall is suggesting that in order to cope with what he probably considers to be irritating clickbait links to these quizzes, he imagines the link titles as being shouted through a door in a postapocalyptic dystopia . This is a reference to a trope in movies set in such postapocalyptic settings (which Randall presumably enjoys more) in which the heroes must determine whether an unknown agent is friend or foe, which in some such media occurs by shouting through locked doors. It is not likely that Randall would actually complete these quizzes, but if he did in this fantasy setting, the stakes would be higher and each answer would be fraught with dangerous meaning. It would thus also be much more fun taking the quiz and the result would seem to be important.
In Randall's fantasy dystopian future, the character who is subject of the dialogue may be one of two Spice Girls, described alternately as the one who is merciful and the one started the war (which likely resulted in the said dystopia). It is possible there are only two remaining Spice Girls, or that there are simply only two likely options in the particular circumstances of the comic. It is also unclear if Randall may be suggesting two fictional Spice Girls, or if in his fantasy future, two of the actual original Spice Girls fit the criteria mentioned. The Merciful One could be a reference to the song with the same name by Zohar , another British music ensemble.
As a result of the way a speech line was drawn in this comic, there was initially ambiguity as to the source of the dialogue. The official transcript now states: "A CRUEL INTERLOPER, external to the scene and room, pounds on the door and shouts at the two figures in our sight."
The four little lines at the source end of the speech line are often used by Randall to denote sound coming from an unseen source. The quiz question is being shouted by an angry agent or crowd outside the door, presumably in reference to the female character seen in the comic. Presumably if she is "the one who started this war", the person(s) outside would be hostile toward her.
In this case, it looks like the female character (who otherwise appears to be a Hairbun character) does not have any intention of answering, and is preparing for when the people outside break down the door by loading her shotgun to defend herself. In this interpretation, the title text is said by "Hairbun" Spice indicating that when they get through the door they will be in trouble.
The title text refers to the lyrics from the Spice Girls' debut single, Wannabe (Listen to Wannabe on YouTube ) Here below is the relevant excerpt from the song where the letters in the last four lines refer to the spice girls as given above . This rap bridge is sung by Scary Spice except for the line with Easy V which is sung by Ginger Spice:
So here's a story from A to Z, You wanna get with me You gotta listen carefully We got Em in the place who likes it in your face You got G like MC who likes it on an Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady And as for me, ha ha, you'll see
These lyrics function as a little introduction to the (then) less-well-known girl group. The final line takes on a threat-like tone in this new context of the comic. And it doesn't help that it is Scary Spice who sings it.
The text may seem a little confusing to understand, especially the line that finishes on an . According to another lyrics-site, which also has explanations to some parts of the text, it means that G and MC likes it (sex) together with ecstasy - as "On an E" is slang for being on ecstasy (see it used in this discussion ). They could not sing this directly without resulting in a PG rating, thus they inserted the "E" in the next line as E asy V, a line which is even sung by another spice girl, Ginger spice, where the rest of this bridge is sung by Scary Spice.
[Cueball is trying to barricade a door with his own body (although it already has a bar in front of it). He is in a room that is deteriorating with Hairbun who is loading a shotgun while sitting behind some sort of box.] Knocking on the door: Thump Thump Voice (see here ): Which Spice Girl are you?! Voice (see here ): The merciful one, or the one who started this war?
[Caption below the frame:] When I see those quiz titles, I like to imagine they're being shouted through a door in a postapocalyptic dystopia.


Horoscopes

Explanation:
Horoscopes purport to predict someone's personality or future, based on the position of planets and stars at the time of their birth and at present. Horoscopes commonly group people into twelve groups based on zodiac signs . The names of the horoscope Zodiac signs are based on the names of twelve constellations that were the backdrop for the path of the sun in the ancient times when the rules of settings horoscopes were originally developed. Today, due to precession of the Earth's axis of rotation (and to a lesser degree due to the modern formal definitions of constellations), the Zodiac signs do not correspond fully to the names of actual constellations in the path of the Sun. One's zodiac sign is determined by the position of the sun on their birthday, with each sign representing a specific 30.4 day period (1/12th of a year), starting from the First point of Aries .
Modern science has found no basis for horoscopes , which is why the comic jokes about the fact that its horoscopes at least may be true. Actual horoscopes are typically so vague that they could be true for almost anyone regardless of their sign. Note that this horoscope mainly makes sense for people living in the northern hemisphere (as mentioned in the title text) and it is especially tailored for an audience in the United States , as most cultural references are centered on "Western" or even specific "American" culture, several won't even work in Europe, for example. However, with the principle understood, it is easy to apply local traditions for more accuracy in non-Western cultures.
The 12 category zodiac signs in horoscopes are based on birth dates.  The average length of pregnancy, culturally considered to be nine months, is actually given as the 40 weeks (9.2 months) after the last menstrual period. However, what is relevant here is that it is only 38 weeks after conception (8.75 month). The first two weeks of the 40 week period is before Ovulation , and the conception cannot occur before that.
Based on this knowledge Randall can do some informed guessing about the context of someone's conception (apart from the obvious ), depending on the sign. For example, people of the sign Virgo have been born between August 23 and September 22. This makes it most likely that they are conceived during December the year before. Given contemporary holiday music preferences, Christmas songs were likely to be playing the day they were conceived.  This leads to the guess "You may have been conceived while a Christmas song played". See detailed description of all the signs and explanation of the horoscopes in the table below.
Randall phrases his "predictions" as possibilities ("you may have") rather than declarations, acknowledging that it is a guess, and that it, unlike actual horoscopes, doesn't necessarily apply to everyone.
The title text refers to the Coriolis effect which applies to a body that is moving relative to an object that is spinning. Since the Earth is rotating, a force (the Coriolis force) causes moving objects to be deflected to the right in the northern hemisphere and to the left in the southern hemisphere . This effect is the reason that weather systems (most clearly seen for hurricanes ) spiral in one direction in the northern hemisphere and in the opposite direction in the southern hemisphere.
There is also a common misconception that the Coriolis force in respect of the Earth affects objects on a much smaller scale, such as the direction water will spiral down a drain in the two hemispheres (see also 843: Misconceptions ). In reality, the relative rotational speed of the Earth (one rotation per day) is insufficient to affect anything but large-scale, relatively slow movement, such as prevailing winds and ocean currents .
Randall plays on this type of misconception to make a joke involving reversing the flow of time. So whereas babies are born nine months after conception in the northern hemisphere (clockwise) the Coriolis effect is the reason why babies are being born nine months before in the southern hemisphere (counterclockwise). Note that unlike these horoscopes, which are declared to have an "actual basis in fact", it makes no sense for the conception of a baby to happen after its birth [ citation needed ] .
Here below is a table with data and explanation of the individual horoscopes:
[Above the frame:] Horoscopes With an actual basis in fact [A list with the name of each astrological sign in the first column (in gray) and a horoscope for each sign in the second column. Here given in table form]
Aries • You may have been conceived after a 4th of July fireworks show Taurus • You may have been conceived on a hot August day Gemini • You may have been conceived as the leaves began to change Cancer • You may have been conceived by people trying on costumes Leo • You may have been conceived during Thanksgiving Virgo • You may have been conceived while a Christmas song played Libra • You may have been conceived after a New Year's Eve party Scorpio • You may have been conceived by people stuck inside after a long winter Sagittarius • You may have been conceived during March Madness Capricorn • You may have been conceived during a sexy Easter egg hunt Aquarius • You may have been conceived on Mother's day Pisces • You may have been conceived at someone's wedding


Code Quality

Explanation:
This comic is the first in the Code Quality series:
It is about the apprehension of asking for help from an expert who is a friend. Often we fear that we will be judged and they will think less of us, which is what occurs in this comic.
Ponytail is about to look at some source code Cueball has written, and he is warning her that he is self-taught so his code probably won't be written the way she is used to. In spite of Ponytail's initial (polite) optimism, she comments in three increasingly harsh similes (and a fourth in the title text).
First, she suggests that reading his code is like being in a house built by a child, using a hatchet (a small axe) to put together what he thought was a house based on a picture. She is saying that the code shows a lack of command of the language being programmed. This is like the common expression "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."  New programmers make use of the same techniques repeatedly, using them for situations where other techniques would be far more efficient or faster.
Second, she suggests that it looks like a salad recipe, written by a corporate lawyer on a phone with auto-correct that only corrects things to formulas from Microsoft Excel. She is saying that the code is verbose and the corrections that were done are illogical. This presumably relates to the developer not being an expert in their craft, and fixing the problems as they come up instead of re-examining the problem and solving it in a better way.
Third, she describes it as a transcript of a couple arguing at a branch of the Swedish retail chain IKEA , that was then randomly edited until the computer compiled it with no errors. She is saying that the intent of the code is unclear due to the seemingly random use of the language. This is very similar to an infinite amount of monkeys bashing away on typewriters for an infinite amount of time that will eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare. (A couple's argument may be even less coherent at IKEA than at the average store, since IKEA products always have idiosyncratic names and many of them are difficult to pronounce or transcribe for anyone who doesn't speak Swedish.) This might happen if the code was written so badly that it does not compile, and people edited the code until it compiles so they can see what the code accomplishes. The fact that Cueball's code is in this bad of a shape indicates he really hasn't learned the programming language; he just happens to have a program that works in some shape or fashion.
Finally, Cueball makes the rather weak assurance that he will read "a style guide", which articulates the intended use of the language. It seems clear from Ponytail's commentary that his code quality would benefit from far more training in computer programming.
The title text refers to emoji . Ponytail's comment implies that some of Cueball's variables contained emoji, perhaps in an effort to capture the emotional content of the arguments which show through the requirements document. Emoji have become a recurrent theme on xkcd, but this may have been the first comic to use them for a pun.
Many crying-face emoji are possible if variables can include full Unicode (e.g., 😢,😭,😂,😿,😹), as well as faces with sweat drops that are often mistaken for tears (😪,😥,😰,🥵). In some programming languages it would be impossible to use them in variable names, as the symbols would break the language's syntax rules. Exceptions to this include Swift and Perl ( [1] ), but most languages with compilers that support Unicode characters can include this kind of emoji, even for languages that predate Unicode like C++ and Lisp .
In any event, Cueball's code may best be represented by a bunch of people crying, as that seems to be the only proper response to it.
Although few programming languages require a perfectly rigid style, so long as the code is syntactically accurate, most programmers follow some sort of style to make the code easier to read. This includes indenting lines to show levels and using descriptive variable identifiers with special capitalization, (e.g., camelCase , capitalizing each word except for the first in a sentence, or snake_case , separating lowercase words with underscores).
[Cueball showing Ponytail his laptop.] Cueball: Keep in mind that I'm self-taught, so my code may be a little messy. Ponytail: Lemme see - I'm sure it's fine.
[Ponytail sits at desk, Cueball stand behind her.] Ponytail: ...Wow. This is like being in a house built by a child using nothing but a hatchet and a picture of a house.
[Same scene.] Ponytail: It's like a salad recipe written by a corporate lawyer using a phone autocorrect that only knew Excel formulas.
[Same scene.] Ponytail: It's like someone took a transcript of a couple arguing at IKEA and made random edits until it compiled without errors. Cueball: Okay, I'll read a style guide.


PermaCal

Explanation:
This comic proposes a new calendar system, named PermaCal (a malamanteau of the words "permanent" and "calendar"). In it, the date stays constant. In order to accomplish that, as each day passes, it is interpreted as "drift", and a new PermaCal leap day (analogous to the leap day of the Gregorian calendar ) is added to compensate.
In the comic, which was published on Monday April 20, 2015, Megan wonders why today would be the 19th, since Cueball said it was the 19th a day ago. Cueball interprets the news from Megan, that a day has passed, as "drift" in the date, and resolves to add another leap day to PermaCal so that his calendar will be correct. He is presumably becoming frustrated that he has to do this so often.
Leap days in the Gregorian calendar are days added to the end of February every year that is a multiple of 4, but not by 100, unless it's also a multiple of 400. The purpose is to synchronize the calendar with Earth's orbit without having a partial day each year. Leap seconds are necessary because the earth rotation is not constant, but speeds up and slows down over time. The leap seconds account for the differences in the length of our 24 hour day and a solar day (the time taken for Earth to rotate once with respect to the sun), and are announced several months beforehand.
NTP servers are used to keep local computer time from drifting. They also are used to announce Leap seconds . In the context of this comic, leap seconds would refer to a different system in which there is a new leap second each second, so the time also stays constant, down to the resolution of one second. This would require something like setting the NTP leap second bit anew every second. The title text presumably refers to moving to a resolution of one millisecond via leap milliseconds. This would require at least 1000 updates being requested every second, using enormous network bandwidth and resulting in a Distributed Denial-of-service attack (DDoS) situation.
The comic relates to several DDoS problems due to NTP server misuse and abuse over the years.
Part of the humor stems from the problems that leap seconds are causing for some computers. [1] The last leap second disrupted computers at big companies such as Reddit , LinkedIn , Gizmodo and FourSquare . Google first introduced a new approach of smearing the leap second , smoothly changing the reported time over an undisclosed number of hours around midnight UTC on December 31, 2008. The smooth shape of the adjustment is graphed at synchronization - Math behind Google leap second smear formula - Stack Overflow .
A new calendar was also proposed in comic 1061: EST .
[Megan and Cueball are in the panel. Cueball appears to be holding a phone, tapping.] Megan: What day is it? Cueball: Sunday the 19 th . Megan: But you said it was the 19 th yesterday. Cueball: It changed again ?  Crap, better add another leap day. [Caption below the panel:] My simplified calendar system assumes the date never changes, then corrects any drift via leap days.


Basketball Earth

Explanation:
In this comic Cueball is repeatedly attempting to make a size comparison between the Earth and the Moon . But he only gets to say If the Earth were the size of a basketball, the Moon would be- . Then he is interrupted again and again. (See the title text of 1074: Moon Landing for the same Earth comparison).
A basketball is about 25 cm in diameter and from this it can be inferred that the Moon should then be less than 7 cm in diameter, a typical size for other smaller balls in different sports. Cueball handily illustrates this with two "balls" of the relevant sizes. At first, you think that they just look like the Earth and the Moon. But they are invisibly suspended, and — as seems clear from the first row of panels — they are actually the real Moon and Earth shrunk to the relevant size, hence the title Basketball Earth .
This would place Cueball and his "friends" in God -like positions, outside Earth. Maybe they are even in a different dimension since they can stand and observe the system.
But before Cueball can finish with this common type of comparison, he is interrupted and must begin all over again. We thus never learn what object he would have compared the Moon with. It seems, likely, however, that he would use another ball for the comparison. And the best ball to use would be a tennis ball . See the same sort of comparison of Earth/Moon with basketball/tennis ball in this illustrative video that asks the question: How far away is the Moon? . From this, it is also obvious that the system Cueball shows is not to scale with regard to that distance, which should be 7.37 m! This is not necessarily a mistake of the comic, since Cueball never claims that these two balls are in orbit or that they are even the real ones. He is just (in vain) trying to make a size comparison of the two. (Though perhaps further exposition and demonstration might take place after the size comparison.)
A basketball has an average diameter of 24.6 cm (9.7 inches) vs. a tennis ball, which has an average diameter of 6.7 cm (2.6 inches). The ratio between these two diameters is 0.273, which is the same (to three digits) as the ratio given on the Wikipedia page for the Moon: Mean radius 1737.10 km (0.273 Earths) . If he had used a baseball , which is slightly larger, this would still be good enough for demonstrative purposes, as it would have been with an apple.
It is common to describe the relationship between very large (and very small) objects by analogy to common objects on a more human scale. Here is a similar example where someone has made a comparison of the sizes of the Solar system based on a Sun the size of a basketball . And here, coming from smaller scales, is an example that states the following: "Imagine an atom magnified to the size of a football stadium. The nucleus of the atom would be the size of a pea in the centre of the stadium."
It is almost certainly not a coincidence that this comic was released on Earth Day , which is celebrated annually on April 22 to demonstrate support for environmental protection. This seems to be something that Randall cares about a lot, as he has made several comics demonstrating the need for the human race to begin taking better care of our globe. See, for instance, 1321: Cold and 1379: 4.5 Degrees .
This comic clearly demonstrates four examples where the inhabitants of Earth did not take care of the well being of our globe, although here on a somewhat grander scale than what individuals can usually do. The typical case is that people did not do this out of bad intentions, but only because they were careless, curious, playful, or just plain stupid.
This comic may be seen as a spiritual successor to 445: I Am Not Good with Boomerangs and its follow-up, 475: Further Boomerang Difficulties in depicting various failed outcomes to the same opening panel.
The four interruptions are described and explained below. Each of the four attempts has its own row of four panels in the comic. It is clear from panels one and two in each row that the Basketball Earth is rotating quite fast compared to the time frame of the comic since the continents have moved considerably between frames. It is thus not necessarily the interrupters that have moved the Basketball Earth between frames two and three, except of course in the final interruption.
No matter how fast it rotates or whatever happens, we always see the Basketball Earth from the same side, as seen from far above the Atlantic Ocean . We can see the continents of the Americas as well as Africa and sometimes part of Europe , all of which are the borders for this ocean.
It seems most likely that Cueball starts all over every time, with a completely fresh and new Earth-Moon system, since they look the same regardless of the catastrophe befalling the prior Basketball Earth, and the interruptions—the second especially—would be difficult to reverse. We can thus suppose that there is still "normal" life going on for each Basketball Earth before the interruption. Most or all of this life would presumably perish for all of the last three cases.
In the first interruption, Black Hat comes in and is amazed by this cool floating globe. Of course, being Black Hat, he has to prod this nice globe with a digit. But by putting his finger into one of the oceans of this "real" Basketball Earth without a second thought, he apparently generates a megatsunami that rolls in over an unidentified city with skyscrapers, utterly dwarfed by a breaking wave.
This is similar to a scene in " Men in Black II " where K messed with a globe that actually is a small planet, and his finger becomes visible in the sky of its inhabitants.  It is also similar to a "Pearls before swine" strip where the character Pig encounters Atlas and the earth in a diner, points to where he lives, and accidentally pokes himself in the eye. It is also reminiscent of Deep Impact in which a meteor strike causes exactly such a tsunami to hit the East Coast of the United States . Since Black Hat puts his finger down in the Atlantic Ocean, the tsunami would hit all bordering coastlines. Since the coast seems to be an eastern coast (assuming a vantage point of South --> North), and because Randall lives there, the city could be New York City or Boston or one of the other large US cities on the East Coast. Of course, the wave would also affect the coastline (far into land) for all the other continents.
The second interruption occurs when Megan arrives and pours liquid (perhaps water) from a sports water bottle onto the Basketball Earth, seemingly flooding its entire surface. This would cause extensive flooding , almost certainly extinguishing all multicellular land-dwelling life. The most familiar analogous situation is from the Bible in the Genesis flood narrative about Noah's Ark . The deluge from Megan's bottle would also change the composition of the ocean and create enormous churn and pressure changes, with widespread or catastrophic effects even on multicellular marine life. And if it were some sort of sports drink inside...
In the third interruption, a cat walks into the shot and then playfully attacks the Basketball Earth, rolling around like it would do with a ball of yarn (see real-life example in this video ). This also seems to be an allusion to the logo of the popular web browser Mozilla Firefox, which depicts a fox curled around the earth in a similar manner to that shown in the comic.
The people living upon this Basketball Earth would experience cataclysmic events far greater than Blackhat's digital prodding caused, especially as the Basketball Earth is no longer suspended and was thus taken "out of its orbit" and will eventually hit the floor very hard. One way or another, that will surely cause (undepicted) disasters of tremendous magnitude.
In the fourth and final interruption, Ponytail uses Basketball Earth as an actual basketball. She comes running by Cueball, grabs the Basketball Earth, probably bouncing it off the floor while dribbling towards the basketball hoop where she actually jumps in an attempt to dunk the Basketball Earth. This would not be good for any residents of Basketball Earth [ citation needed ] ; the combined pressure, movement, and impact damage from this simple sequence would surely kill off all complex life on Basketball Earth.
This simile-callback is continued in the title text with the idea that "every basketball in existence" (i.e., every basketball upon the Basketball Earth, as well as the Basketball Earth itself) is counted towards the score from a single dunking. Randall may have a good estimate of how many basketballs there are, perhaps through research for some what if? question or other research, but almost certainly assumes that there are no extraterrestrial basketballs not on Basketball Earth. But there might be some question about whether the Basketball Earth's own sub-scale basketballs fall within the regulations.
If we go by the strict rules of league Basketball, the answer would only be two points , as it is illegal to have more than one basketball in play at a time.
[Cueball is standing next to a floating Basketball Earth indicating it with his left hand. The continents are clearly visible as seen from above the Atlantic Ocean. This remains the same all through the comic, except that the Basketball Earth rotates a bit from frame to frame.] Cueball: If the Earth were the size of a basketball,
[Cueball is now indicating, with his right hand, a small pockmarked moon (also floating), in the correct proportions (regarding size not for their distance) to the Basketball Earth, which is on his other side. Black Hat walks into the panel towards Earth.] Cueball: The Moon would be— Black Hat: Hey, cool!
[Black Hat is touching the Basketball Earth with a digit.] Cueball: Um.
[In the next scene, we see a megatsunami on the verge of crashing down onto a coastal city with skyscrapers. The A's are cut off on each side of the panels frames, i.e. they begin outside and finish outside the frame.] AAAAAAAA

[Back to Cueball standing with the Basketball Earth in the same position as the first panel.] Cueball: Let's try that again. If the Earth were the size of a basketball,
[Same situation as when Black Hat walked in, except now it is Megan that walks into the frame towards the Basketball Earth holding a sports water bottle.] Cueball: The Moon would be—
[Megan squirts the Basketball Earth with the liquid in her water bottle while Cueball just stands watching with the Moon behind him].
[Megan just walks away while Cueball stares at his "water" Basketball Earth where the continents have disappeared completely beneath the liquid.]

[Back to Cueball standing with the Basketball Earth in the same position as the first panel.] Cueball: If the Earth were the size of a basketball,
[Same situation as when Black Hat walked in, except now he spots a cat coming into the frame from the left.] Cueball: The Moon— would…
[While Cueball watches with the Moon behind him, the cat jumps at the Basketball Earth.] Cat: Mrowl!
[Cueball continues to watch while the cat rolls around playing with the Basketball Earth as if it was a ball of yarn.] Cat: Rrrrr

[Back to Cueball standing with the Basketball Earth in the same position as the first panel.] Cueball: If the Earth were the size of a basketball,
[Same situation as when Black Hat walked in, except this time it is Ponytail who enters the frame at a run coming from the left.] Cueball: The Moon would, uh…
[While Cueball watches with the Moon behind him, Ponytail has grabbed the Basketball Earth and is dribbling it out of the frame, still running.]
[Zoom out from Cueball who continues to watch while Ponytail reaches a basketball hoop and jumps towards it with the Basketball Earth, obviously in an attempt to make a slam dunk.]


Win by Induction

Explanation:
In the Pokémon franchise, human characters called Trainers capture fantastical creatures from the wild, the titular Pokémon (a shortened form of "Pocket Monsters"), and train them to battle one another. Pokémon are captured and stored in devices called Poké Balls, which shrink the creatures down to pocket size (hence "Pocket Monsters"). The anime's English dub has enshrined the phrase " <Pokémon's name> , I choose you!" into popular culture memory. When Trainers do battle, they often shout this phrase while throwing the ball to the ground, releasing the Pokémon at full size.
In this comic, a Pokémon chosen at some point was a Pikachu (the "poster child" for Pokémon, and the most publicly-known type), which does not intend to engage in the battle himself. Instead, the Pikachu chooses another Pikachu to fight for him. This process then repeats itself. Behind the Pikachu with the Pokéball is a long line of other Pikachu, suggesting that this process has been going on for a while.
Nearby stands Cueball , holding a closed Pokéball, and Megan , looking at her watch. This suggests that Cueball intends to have his own Pokémon fight the Pikachu, but is waiting to see which enemy his Pokémon must face before the battle can actually begin (waiting in vain, if the above described process repeats indefinitely), while Megan is growing impatient with the delay. Given that Cueball is holding a closed Pokéball he has not deployed yet, Megan cannot herself be his Pokémon. She could be his opponent, or a spectator.
The joke in this comic comes from analogy with the mathematical proof by induction , which is a proof about a base case, followed by a never ending sequence of steps, each step leading to the next. Induction proves an assertion is true for one case, and then infers that it must also be true for all related cases. The title suggests that the process of Pikachu choosing Pikachu will never end, effectively postponing the battle indefinitely. But the title is win by induction, by which Randall implies that we have been given enough information to reason logically whether Megan or Cueball will win. We have here turned mathematical induction on its head: part of the humour in the comic is that the logic of induction doesn't work in reverse. We cannot reason about an initial case by inferring something from a related case whose proof is dependent on knowledge about the initial case. Or perhaps the "win" referred to is precisely that the battle is indefinitely postponed.
The name "induction" comes from logic and discrete mathematics, and is thus unrelated to the physical phenomena of electromagnetic induction ; but the fact that Pikachu is an "Electric-type" Pokémon could be word play connecting the two ideas.
If there were always only a single Pikachu in each Pokéball, this would spawn an unlimited number of Pikachu growing at a constant rate. Since, as the title text notes, there are occasionally two of them in a Pokéball, this would lead to exponential growth assuming each of the spawned Pikachu in this case is bearing a Pokéball! This may be a reference to the rate of twins, which is approximately 1/30 in humans.
Pikachu was used in one of the storylines of 1350: Lorenz . See all the attack moves it made here .
[There is a long queue of Pikachu extending out of the frame to the left. They are all just out from their ball, at least the last eight Pikachu's open balls lie in two parts on the ground at their feet. They are standing in front of Megan and Cueball. Cueball is holding a closed pokéball while Megan checks the time on her watch. The frontmost Pikachu, holding a closed pokéball, speaks.]
Pikachu at the front: Pikachu, I choose you!


Spectroscopy

Explanation:
This comic mixes the method of using spectroscopy to detect oxygen on exoplanets (planets outside our Solar system ) with the lyrics for the Faith Hill song " Breathe " (listen to "Breathe" on YouTube ).
From the lyrics:
I watch the sunlight dance across your face I can feel you breathe
In the comic the word "feel" has been changed to "see". The two first panels are one line in the song. The last line is from the chorus and is repeated five times during the song, although not right after the first two lines.
In the first and second panel the singer examines the spectra of a remote planet by watching the sunlight during the transit of the planet as this sunlight dances across the planet's face . Finally we determine that breathable oxygen exists. Since we cannot (as Faith can) feel the planet we have to see it. And by doing this I can see you breathe .
Measuring the light output of stars (spectra) we are able to determine a number of details of the star, including rotation, relative radial velocity, chemical composition, temperature, and to some degree, distance and size. When a planet, as pictured, moves between the star and the observer, then by looking at the spectrum received, the viewer is able to determine the contents of the planet's atmosphere from the specific wavelengths of light that are absorbed in this. If it turns out that the atmosphere absorbs the lines corresponding to molecular oxygen (O 2 ) this is a clear indication that the planet has large quantities of breathable oxygen (but not necessarily life ). However, there must be oxygen in large amounts in the atmosphere to sustain most of the life forms that we know of here on Earth (though not all ). It is thus clear why Randall would be interested in exoplanets with oxygen.
This comic came out four days after this article about NASA's New NExSS Initiative . NASA will search for signs of life on other planets, for instance by using "the light passing through the atmospheres of these exoplanets". And they "will study chemicals that have been detected on other worlds, such as oxygen and methane, to see if they were produced by biology".
The title text refers to determining radial velocity in the ESPRESSO program (Echelle SPectrograph for Rocky Exoplanet- and Stable Spectroscopic Observations). By noting that the radial velocity of the star changes slightly as the planet that orbits it moves around the star (centrifugal acceleration), the ESPRESSO program should be able to detect the masses of planets as they are moving towards the Earth in their orbit around their distant stars. The ESPRESSO program is so precise that it should be able to detect planets as small as Earth and the other of the Solar system's inner planets.
Randall is now even more excited about ESPRESSO than he is about the oxygen levels, because it is now possible to detect these "very" small planets. So he is no longer listening to "Breathe", but to another Faith Hill song: " This Kiss " (listen to "This Kiss" on YouTube ).
From the lyrics :
It's centripetal motion On the rooftop under the sky
The first line is part of the chorus and it is repeated four times, but Randall has changed the main word to "centrifugal". There is, however, disagreement on-line whether it is centripetal or centrifugal.
The second line is not sung in connection with the chorus, and it is only changed a bit, so "the" is changed to "a". Also the "on" which is part of his line here is not part of the quoted line in the title text.
The song is not about measuring but, of course, about "The Kiss". Since the ESPRESSO is part of the Very Large Telescope , it is located on the Cerro Paranal mountain in the Atacama desert in Chile at an elevation of 2,635 meters (8,645 ft.) above sea level. So it could be said that it is measuring on a rooftop under the sky. Although it is radial velocity it measures, not centrifugal motion , the object it does measure will all be experiencing this fictitious force (also see 123: Centrifugal Force ), as the planets are in orbit around a star.
Randall has previously made several references to exoplanets in his comics, most notable are the two comics with the same name: 786: Exoplanets and 1071: Exoplanets . The latter comic came out when there were exactly 786 exoplanets found. Today more than 1900 have been discovered (1915 as of Wikipedia on the release day of this comic), much more than twice that amount. And now they can find even smaller planets, and detect the atmosphere. Much have happened since the first exoplanet comic came out in 2010. Five comics later in 1522: Astronomy he mentions astrobiology in the title text, closely relating it to this comic.
[A dark panel with a bright star in the center. To the left a planet (drawn as a new moon) approaches the star. Text is written above in white with two musical notes, one on each side of the text.] I watch the sunlight
[Same image but now the planet transits the star. Small lines around the planet indicate the atmosphere, as seen from the light from the star passing through it. Text is again written above in white with two different musical notes, one on each side of the text.] Dance across your face
[A white frame with a black line. It Is the spectrum of the planets atmosphere. Two distinct absorption peaks are visible. The first one is labeled with an arrow. Text is again written above, now in black, with two, again, different musical notes, one on each side of the text.] I can see you breathe Label: O 2
[Below the panels is the following caption:] Faith Hill on exoplanet spectroscopy


Typical Morning Routine

Explanation:
Waking up to an alarm can be annoying, especially when it is your partner's alarm, and they are slow to wake up and even then have difficulty figuring out how to turn the alarm off. This comic takes this situation to a ridiculous extreme, from whence the comic derives its humor, especially when paired with the title describing this situation as a "Typical Morning Routine". Of course the typical could refer only to the part of the "routine" until the phone is dropped into an air vent.
In this comic, Hairy with morning hair is shown using his smartphone as his alarm clock. Another unseen person is sharing the bed with Hairy and growing more irate as Hairy's alarm continues beeping.
Even simple actions like turning off an alarm can be easily fumbled by a just-awakened groggy person. In this case, Hairy accidentally exited the alarm app without stopping the alarm. In some OSes, simply exiting the app doesn't close it, requiring you to use the app switcher to close it.
After giving up on shutting down the alarm the usual way, Hairy, in annoyance, decides to remove the battery, which will disable the phone's entire operation. However, while trying to remove the battery in the dark, he accidentally drops his device down a floor air vent (most likely part of forced air central heating common in North America) next to the bed. While the vent is covered by a grille, it is apparently coarse enough (or perhaps missing a few pieces, creating a large hole) to allow the phone to pass through if it falls at a particular location and angle. Also, the vent apparently does not descend very far before bending, allowing the phone to survive the fall intact.
As of when this comic was posted, Randall uses both iOS and Android according to 1508: Operating Systems —although there is no reason to be certain that the character in this comic is using the same operating systems as Randall. However, the fact that Hairy tries to remove the battery strongly suggests it cannot be an iOS device, given that all iOS devices have non-removable batteries.
If he were a little handy, Hairy might be able to open the vent and retrieve the phone—or perhaps not, if the phone slid further into the ventwork or Hairy lacked the necessary tools. Instead of trying to physically recover the phone, Hairy attempts to remotely brick the phone from his laptop, permanently disabling all its functions (including the alarm app).
This attempt fails because Hairy had accidentally put the device into airplane mode before dropping his phone, thereby cutting off all wireless communications with the device and preventing any attempt at remote control. Airplane mode also has the unfortunate (in this situation) side effect of increasing the phone's battery life (though playing loud sounds incessantly should still limit it to a day or so, notwithstanding the pessimistic assessment of Hairy's companion).
Rather than finding a solution to the problem with the phone, Hairy proposes that they just move out instead.
Relevant for the title text: There is a semi-common logic puzzle involving a ping-pong ball falling down a pipe with a kink in it. In this puzzle, the solution is to pour water into the pipe until the ping-pong ball floats up.
In the title text, one of the two characters remembers this problem and attempts to apply it to this situation. Since phones do not float in water, a modified version is proposed using mercury instead. The phone would certainly float on mercury, as it is a very dense liquid (the only metal that is liquid at room temperature).
The extremely toxic nature of mercury makes pouring it into the air supply a very dangerous idea. Also the required amount of mercury would be extremely expensive. The weight of the mercury would also be substantial (13.5 kg/liter or 113 lb/gallon), and would likely break something in the air duct system. Both mercury and water could also push the phone further into the duct system instead of bringing it back. The end of the title text, declaring that the mercury idea would definitely make this situation better and not worse could be either a sarcastic commentary on these problems or a desperate attempt to bolster confidence that this extreme solution will work when everything else has failed.
Given that Hairy was willing to sacrifice the phone anyway (by attempting to brick it), he would probably be better off pouring water down the vent—it wouldn't bring the phone within reach, but it would disable and thereby silence it (unless the phone is completely waterproof (and the waterproofing layer wasn’t damaged by the fall), which most phones aren't, especially those where the battery can be removed).
Of course, Hairy probably wouldn't have gotten into this mess if he had not just been awakened brutally by a very loud alarm, making it difficult to think clearly (or, alternatively, if he just had a standard alarm clock that he could have unplugged or even a mechanical one that he could, say, hit with a hammer until it broke; or just flip the off switch).
[The panel is completely black, with white text. Small lines indicate from where the two voices are coming, and also from where the alarm goes off. A small broken square surrounds the first word spoken.] Alarm: Bleep Bleep Voice (right): Urgh Voice (left): Your alarm is going off Voice (right): Huh? Voice (left): Make it stop. Voice (right) Urrgh
[The panel is completely black, with white text. Small lines indicate from where the two voices are coming. Several small lines surrounds the last "sound" which is not spoken. The alarm noise is continued from the previous panel and continues over the top of the frame directly into the next panel.] Alarm: Bleep Bleep Bleep B Voice (left): Hit snooze. Voice (right): I'm trying . I closed the alarm app and I can't... I'll just pop out the battery. Voice (right): Whoops! Clang
[The lights have turned on so it is now a white panel with black text. The voice to the right came from Hairy with morning hair. He is leaning over the side of the bed, looking down the air vent through which he has dropped the phone. The other person to the left is not shown. The alarm noise (now coming from the air vent as visualized by the lines coming out of the vent) still continues from the previous panel and continues over the top of the frame directly into the next panel.] Alarm: eep Bleep Bleep Ble Off-Screen voice: Make it stop! Hairy: It... fell down the vent.
[Hairy is sitting in his bed with a laptop. The person to the left is still off-screen. The alarm noise still continues from the previous panel and continues over the top of the frame out of the comic the the right.] Alarm: ep Bleep Bleep Bleep Ble Off-Screen voice: Can you brick it remotely? Hairy: Trying... I think I fumbled it into airplane mode? Off-Screen voice: The battery could last for weeks. Hairy: You know, maybe we should just move.
This comic follows a similar storyline to 349: Success and 530: I'm An Idiot , where Cueball , like Hairy here, encounters an issue and attempts progressively more absurd solutions.
There is a callback to this in the title text of 1946: Hawaii .