Meteorologist

Explanation:
Although we’re constantly exposed to them, many (most?) people don’t understand the details of how to properly interpret weather forecasts. But even beyond the normal questions, there can be much more complex issues hiding beyond those (though most people will not care for those). This comic takes this to the ridiculous extreme of the weather reporters coming from some other profession where you look into those questions. It shows questions asked by three different people with different backgrounds: mathematics , linguistics , and (in the title text) software development . While some of those questions have actual answers (which you'd expect someone working in that job to know, such as the definition of "scattered showers" and how it's determined, what a "chance of rain" means, and so on), each professional finally ends up with questions that are almost disturbing in how they cannot be answered. (So management ends up calling security to remove those announcers.)
It should be pointed out that hiring someone without any meteorological training to read the weather does not make them an actual meteorologist, no more than say hiring a bricklayer as a doctor would actually make them a real doctor.
The first meteorologist, Cueball , has a background in pure math. His forecast states that each of the next five hours has a 20% chance of rain. As a mathematician he sees how limited that information is. There is no information about whether or how those probabilities are correlated . This becomes obvious if you ask the question "How likely is it to rain this afternoon" (a question even some non-mathematicians might be interested in). Cueball states that he does not know (as no one only getting the information about 20% rain in each hour can know). And then lists some scenarios that all fit the the description, but have totally different results for "How likely is it to rain this afternoon?"
The first thing a mathematician would ask (and Cueball does here) is asking if those 5 events are independent . Events are independent if the outcome of one of them is unrelated to the outcome out of the others, i.e. knowing whether it rained at 3 pm has no effect on whether it rains at 4 pm, in which case the probability of any rain over the 5 hours is 1 − (1 − 0.2) 5 = 67.2%. (Rain is very seldom independent, as usually having rain in one hour increases the chance to rain in another hour, as systems of rainy weather usually persist for many hours). Another common extreme in probability theory is a set of mutually exclusive events. In this example that would be the scenario that the chance of rain is 5 × 20% = 100%, but it will only rain in exactly one hour and not rain at all for the other four. (Also possible but quite unlikely). This is what the mathematician was referring to by, "Is rain guaranteed and we're just unsure of the timing?"
In the second panel he continues to discuss what scattered showers means. Like most of the other weather terms in this comic, the term "scattered showers" is one whose technical definition is largely unknown but appears simple enough that most people would assume they understand what it means. "Scattered" refers to when the rain covers roughly 30–50% of the area at a given moment. To somebody who doesn't know this, like the first meteorologist, there's still the very valid question of how likely it is to rain in a specific spot (is it 30–50% of the total probability, or is it more than that because showers move and sweep out a larger area?), and how this is affected by the previous chance of rain. Not to mention, the percentage that defines "scattered showers" implicitly assumes a surface area that is accounted into the percent. Cueball rightly asks clarification on how large the location used to determine "scattered showers" is.
While the all but the last question of the first part of the second panel can be answered by looking up their definitions, the last one is "What if you have two locations you are worried about?" This is an extremely complex question. Because there is no chance at all to answer this question from the answers of the previous questions or even from most other data a forecast might usually produce. To answer this you'd need the raw data from the ensemble forecast in order to specifically look at the correlation between weather at those two locations. Simply looking at the averaged result won't help.
Finally in that panel Cueball begins to explain that he has asked the management about these things, but that they have stopped replying to his e-mails. At this point he spots the security guy coming over, and the screen goes black in to a technical difficulty screen that excuses this behavior to the viewers. It is implied that the security guy came over to force Cueball to leave the set, because he has been fired for confusing the viewers.
Questioning these things on air is likely confusing to the viewers, although they are all valid questions. But this may lose viewers and the news network is afraid of this. The technical difficulty panel further cements this, apologizing for hiring a person with a pure math background. Often seen as one that do not understand how to talk to regular people.
When they get back on air gain a new meteorologist, Blondie , steps in. The management enquires (on air) to make sure she is not also a mathematician. She states no, but tells that she has a linguistics degree, which the management thinks is fine, and thus believes they have prevented the problem with Cueball. However, this proves to be in vain, as Blondie goes into a tangent once more but from a linguistics standpoint, rather than a mathematical one, detailing the true meaning of the word "it" as referring to the weather. After one panel of this the management calls for security again.
While, at the most basic level, human speech is broken into subject, object, and verb; for some reason we are capable of producing and comprehending speech without both objects or verbs, but in English there is a certain "resistance" to speech without a subject. Thus if you are in the passenger seat of a car going down the highway and happened to see some deer in the trees nearby, you could simply say "Deer.", rather than "there is a deer over there", deer being the subject of the sentence. However, if you noticed that it had begun to rain, you could not simply say "Raining." on it's own. Feel how that sentence just seems weird? Hence we have developed the tendency to use the filler word "it" despite the fact that when we say "It's raining." the "it" is not a reference to the clouds producing the rain, but the general state of the rainfall around us. (McWhorter, John. Understanding Linguistics: The Science of Language. https://www.thegreatcourses.com/courses/understanding-linguistics-the-science-of-language.html )
The first question is again quite harmless, and both possible answers ("it" being a dummy pronoun or referring to the weather) are valid answers, but the second question is much more disturbing.
In "It's hot out, and getting bigger" the first part of the sentence might be a dummy pronoun or it might reference the weather. But the second part breaks it: With a dummy pronoun "getting bigger" would be the impersonal action, which is not what is meant. It is referencing something (the hotness, that is getting bigger). But if the it references this entity in the second part, by grammatical rules it would also have to reference that in the first part. But "The hotness is hot out" makes no sense at all. (An alternative explanation is that the sentence is referring to the fact that if a dark (so as to absorb light energy from sunlight and convert it to thermal energy) object is placed outside in sunlight, it will heat up and undergo thermal expansion.)
This is again a common occurrence with informal speech: From a grammatical point of view, it is pure non-sense. But it still has meaning people understand. So if you want a proper descriptive grammar, it needs to cope with those cases. But then most such informal sentences would be special cases. (Case of point: What is the grammatical function of the "out" in that sentence?)
In the title text, the news station has made the same error again, this time by hiring a software developer as the third meteorologist. This last person is stating concerns about the feasibility of the time system used to correlate to the weather patterns. Because it appears simple, many people would simply assume they understand what is being said when a meteorologist talks about "12pm" or "1pm".  This is a common mistake because noon is neither post meridiem (pm) nor ante meridiem , and should be stated as "noon" or "12 noon" instead of "12 pm.". However, because software developers frequently have to deal with things such as specifying exactly what time-label means what, the new meteorologist begins to wonder what time period is actually meant on a per-hour forecast. On such an hour forecast does 12pm refer to the hour from 12 to 1pm, from 11:30 to 12:30 or is it actually only to the weather precisely at 12:00 that is referred to? The software developer also worries about an off-by-one error , which is a common error in software development occurring when boundary conditions include one element too few or too many: when counting by 24 once every set period (for example), it is common to forget whether the count should stop at 23 or at 24, especially if the number 0 (midnight) is included. In the 24-hour forecast, that means there's 25 hours represented every day, and the software developer worries that these 25 hours might add up and, every progressive day, the forecast is one more hour off. (If the news station's meteorology department had been around for a while, worrying about this would be absurd because if the new station tried to predict the weather one hour further into the future each day, it would eventually ask for the weather further into the future than the forecast models could supply, resulting in an error that someone would definitely notice (and it would likely be the case that long before that happened, someone would perceive the weather forecasts as being inaccurate or early). However, based on how quickly the linguist was fired, this was likely either the mathematician's first day or second day on the job, so if we assume that the mathematician was the first meteorologist (or that all previous meteorologists were fired quickly enough that the mathematician started within a few days of when the meteorology department started), there wouldn't have been enough time for the effects of an off-by-one error to stack up enough to be noticed, so the software developer's concern about an off-by-one error would not have been ruled out yet.) In theory these are valid concerns and notably less inane than his predecessors, but they are all things he should have asked before he went on the air.
Management would certainly answer the mathematician's questions! The questions themselves have been asked of meteorologists before. The National Weather Service (NWS), a unit of the United States National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), has published relevant answers for probability of precipitation , as well as timing and the meanings of particular forecast words . The naming is also addressed here .
Regarding probability of precipitation, NOAA forecasts give the probability that it will rain at all at any given point in an area. To rephrase it, it is the probability of rain occurring at all within a forecast area multiplied by the percentage of area affected by the rain. The "forecast area" is a clearly defined area of land and can be seen in the map of any official NWS forecast. Here is an example .
Regarding the timing of the forecast, an hourly forecast gives the probability for each particular hour, stretching from the time listed to right before the next hour listed. So, the forecast for noon describes the time period from noon to 1pm. The forecasts for individual hours can be correlated; for this reason, the NOAA generates forecasts that stretch over longer time periods, giving a useful estimate for that time range. Thus, the chance of rain for "Today" specifically means: what is the chance of it raining at any given location during any time between 6am and 6pm?
Regarding phrases like "scattered showers", this specifically means a 25-54% probability of precipitation from convective cloud sources. Other phrases, and when they are used, are detailed in the chart at the end of this PDF .
So, to conclude:
[Cueball is presenting a weather forecast while seated with his folded hands resting on a table. A graphic to the left of Cueball shows the weather for five consecutive hours from 12pm to 4pm, each with a rainy cloud icon and the same percentage of 20% written below the icon. The TV channel's logo is shown on the bottom left, with the 4 in a white font inside a black circle.] Cueball: Our forecast says there's a 20% chance of rain for each of the next five hours. Cueball: How likely is it to rain this afternoon? It's a simple question, but I don't know the answer. Is each hour independent? Correlated? Or is rain guaranteed and we're just unsure of the timing?
12pm  1pm  2pm  3pm  4pm 20%  20%  20%  20%  20% News 4 Weather
[Cueball still sits at the table, but the weather graphic is gone and he looks to the right.] Cueball: It says "scattered showers." Is this the chance of rain somewhere in your area? How big is your area? What if you have two locations you're worried about? Cueball: I've asked management, but they've stopped answering my emails, so—Hang on, the security guy is coming over.
[A black screen is shown with white text and two short white lines between each of the three segments of text. The TV logo is shown below the last text, with the white 4 inside a gray circle with a white border.] Technical Difficulties — We apologize for hiring a meteorologist with a pure math background. — We'll be back on the air shortly. News 4
[Blondie now sits at the desk, in the same position as Cueball, but without the graphic. She looks to the right towards a person who speaks to her from outside the panel. This voice is indicated with two square speech bubbles, connected with a double line and with a small arrow pointing to the right off-panel from the top bubble.] Blondie: Sorry about that. Hi, I'm your new meteorologist. Person off-panel: And you're not a mathematician, right? Blondie: No. I do have a linguistics degree. Person off-panel: That's fine.
[Blondie continues in the same position but now looks into the camera at the viewers. The off-panel person only speaks one word, which again is inside a square speech bubble with a small arrow pointing to the right off-panel.] Blondie: It might rain this afternoon. Blondie: But what is "it" here? Is it a true dummy pronoun, as in the phrase "It's too bad?" Or is the weather an entity? Blondie: Also, what if I say, "It's hot out, and getting bigger?" Person off-panel: Security!


River Border

Explanation:
Ponytail explains to Megan that the Missouri-Nebraska state border is based on the Missouri River they are watching. And because the path of rivers mostly only changes slowly, these borders are typically adopted to that changes. But then she explains that the river once had changed abruptly by a meander cutoff and the border didn't move with it. That means that they are on a part of the Missouri side of the river that in fact belongs to Nebraska.
It then occurred to Megan that she could break the law in this area because she is under the mistaken impression that she is in Nebraska but the police can't reach her over the river and Missourian cops actually don't have jurisdiction. In fact, there are no bridges linking it to Nebraska so police would have to go through Missouri in order to get to that part of Nebraska.
It should be noted that there are real-world examples of strange border interactions that either create legal loopholes or make law enforcement difficult.  A famous example, in the US, is a section of Yellowstone National Park that crosses over the Idaho border. An article in the Georgetown Law Review noted that, since the Park is a federal district, and juries must be selected from people living in the same state and federal district as the crime, the only qualified jurors would have to live in the Idaho section of the park, but that section has no permanent residents. In theory, then, any crimes committed on this patch of land could not be prosecuted. How this would work out in real life remains questionable, as there are no records of anyone being arrested for a crime in that region, but the law seems to have inadvertently created a zone in which laws cannot be enforced.  Similarly, Bir Tawil , a region along the border between Egypt and Sudan, is claimed by neither country as a result of the Halaib Triangle border dispute, and thus crimes committed in the area would be unlikely to be prosecuted.  Megan seems to mistakenly think something similar is in effect any time a state's border briefly crosses a river.
The final panel shows Megan saying she's going to cut a pizza into a spiral, which while unconventional is by no means illegal, and she runs off to commit more things she calls crimes, likely similar acts to cutting a pizza in an uncommon way.
In the title text, Randall claims/hypothesizes the disputed region is probably considered like the high seas , suggesting the pizza case would then fall under maritime law . "Pieracy" is a portmanteau of pie (another name for a pizza) and "piracy"; and pizzas are frequently made with marinara sauce, so "Maritime" law is rendered "Marinaritime". This is most likely a reference to The Martian , in which it was noted that Mars is technically international waters as well.
The region mentioned in the comic can be seen here at Google maps and is known as McKissick Island . In 1904, the U.S. Supreme Court confirmed in Missouri v. Nebraska that a sudden change of a river's course does not change any border. See: Missouri v. Nebraska, 196 U.S. 23 (1904) .
This strip is alluding to the concepts of 'accretion' and 'avulsion' in boundary law.
Accretion is the gradual change of the location of a river or stream by erosion or addition of sediment through natural river processes. According to common law in the United States and elsewhere, if a river or stream location changes gradually, then the boundary line moves with the stream. In cases of pure accretion, it is possible for a parcel of land to be entirely eroded away on one side of a river, and have material be added to the opposite side of the river. In such cases, one property owner could lose all their land.
An avulsion is a sudden change in the location of a river or stream, often due to flooding. In times of flood, a river can cut a new channel through surrounding land, which can create islands and oxbow lakes. According to common law, an avulsive change will not change the boundary of the land, as it is likely that the property is unchanged except for the new channel.
In the real world, however, river systems undergo both accretion and avulsion multiple times over a period of time. This makes the determination of property lines along riverine boundaries one of the most complicated aspects of boundary surveying. An examination of a river boundary will require in-depth research of the local history of the river, including reviewing deeds, government survey plats, private survey maps, aerial photos taken over time, local landowners recollections, and local lore. In situations where there is disagreement over whether an avulsive or accretive change happened, landowners may have to go to court for a suit to quiet title.
Further in-depth reading may be found in the US Bureau of Land Management's 2009 Manual of Surveying Instructions, Chapter 8, specifically pages 197-205. (See: PDF (37.7 MByte) .)
Often, borders defined by a river actually change. There are three methods to define a border:
The Mexican-US-Border that follows the Rio Grande is one of the most prominent examples of an international border that needs meticulous regulation. Thus, the International Boundary and Water Commission was created. This commission was involved when the two nations rectified the course of the river, ceding equal amounts of land to each other. The Canada-US-Border is overseen by a similar commission. There is also a strange section on the border to Canada, which Randall mentions in this comic: 1902: State Borders .
The border between Delaware and New Jersey veers from the median and talweg methods such that Delaware's border includes all the way to the New Jersey shore where the Delaware River is within what is known as the Twelve-Mile Circle .
One of the causes of the Iran-Iraq War was the dispute on shipping rights on the Shatt-el Arab river , and because the border was defined as the low water mark at the eastern side of that river, Iranian shipping was severely restricted. So the Shah of Persia announced to ignore the 1937 treaty on shipping rights, saying that most riverine borders all around the world are defined by the talweg.
Between Switzerland and Italy, the border is, at most locations, defined by the actual drainage divide . Because the Theodul Glacier between Zermatt (Switzerland) and Breuil-Cervinia (Italy) is slowly melting, the drainage divide moves southwards, thus slowly enlarging the Swiss territory.
Most other national borders in Europe are defined today as fiat borders instead of following natural landmarks like rivers. If a river changes course now, the depicted situation would occur; however, most larger rivers have been rectified more than a century ago and thus don't change course often.
[Ponytail and Megan are standing on a grassy riverbank, with the nearby part of the river shown above their heads. They are looking towards the river and Ponytail is gesturing at the river with her hand.] Ponytail: This is a cool spot. Ponytail: The Missouri-Nebraska state line follows this river. If the river's path changes gradually, the border moves with it.
[A map is shown beneath the text spoken by Ponytail (off-panel). The map includes a bendy river shown in gray which is snaking its way from the left part of the panel down to the bottom. A dotted line indicates the old path of the river. It follows the gray river most of the way, but towards the bottom, this line moves away from the current river extending to north-east, including a large chunk of land that the river used to encompass previously. Two arrows point to the gray section of the river with the dotted line, and another arrow points to the section of the dotted line not following the gray section. Both are labeled. On each side of the dotted arc, where it is farthest from the gray part of the river the state names are labeled, so the text follows the direction of the river (almost north to south here).] Ponytail (narrating): But when it abruptly changes course, the border stays behind. Ponytail (narrating): This is a spot where that happened. We're on the Missouri side, but we're in Nebraska. River Old riverbed Nebraska Missouri
[In a frame-less panel (with no background) Ponytail has turned to look at Megan who is holding a hand to her chin.] Megan: Wow. Megan: So... Megan: We can commit all the crimes we want here and the cops can't do a thing!
[Megan runs away from Ponytail while she is holding her arm up in the air with a finger extended up.] Ponytail: What? No. Why would you even think that? Megan: I'm going to cut a pizza into a spiral! Ponytail: That's not even illegal! Megan: Crimes!


Python Environment

Explanation:
A development environment is the collection of tools used to create a computer program.  It generally includes an interpreter , a package manager , and various libraries that the project needs.  Computer programs often depend on a specific version of these tools, such as a program that only runs on Python 2.7.  A badly configured build environment can lead to mysterious errors as the program looks for libraries or features that aren't there, making it hard to develop stable and portable software.
Python is a computer programming language which has been around for quite a while, especially on Linux platforms. Randall has shown his fascination with Python before . He has likely used it on his computer for quite a few years, from the early years when it wasn't so easy to install, through newer versions where there is a more defined way to install it. Because standards change over time (in particular, although the newest version of Python is Python 3.x, many people prefer Python 2.x, and it's still widely used for backward-compatibility), and he didn't completely uninstall old versions before installing new versions (likely to not break what was already working), he's ended up with a mess where different pieces and versions of Python and its related components litter his hard drive 's directory structure .
Superfund is a US federal government program created for cleaning up contaminated land. The comic is saying that his computer's Python environment is so messed up that it's comparable to a real-world environmental disaster.
The title text may refer to the philosophical debate surrounding the construction of warning features around the WIPP site in New Mexico, and other nuclear waste disposal sites. In particular, it may refer to this article . These would have to last and be understandable for tens of thousands of years, longer than any known human-made structure or language to date. It also refers to the use of "sudo", a Posix command utility that allows a user to operate with heightened permissions. Using "sudo" to install a Python package may make the package available to the entire system, or, based on the settings of Virtualenv/Anaconda, it may end up installing the package in a user's home directory. This would make it so that the user could not update, edit, or remove the packages.
$PATH $PATH refers to the PATH environment variable, which determines where to search for executable files. In this case, it indicates that the pip, Homebrew Python (2.7), and macOS's pre-installed Python are accessible on path, with ~/newenv/ and a mysterious ???? as part of PATH. pip pip is the Python package management system , and is used to install and manage python packages. As it is written in Python, it requires Python to run. It leads to easy_install, Homebrew Python (2.7), "(misc folders owned by root)", and ????. Homebrew Python (2.7) Homebrew is a third-party macOS package manager. Homebrew Python (2.7) is the Python 2 version installed through Homebrew. This leads to Python.org binary (2.6) and /usr/local/Cellar. OS Python Apple bundles an (out of date) version of Python with macOS. This only leads to ????. ???? With so many versions of Python installed and used in the system, it becomes very hard to track which Python program uses which version and environment. The system becomes unpredictable and its workings and faults mysterious. All parts of the graph that lead to this point, lead to confusion. easy_install easy_install, much like pip, is a cpan-like tool to download and install Python packages.  As of the creation of the comic, many people discourage its use.  (e.g., this question on stack exchange. ) Anaconda Python Anaconda is a Python distribution for data science and machine learning-related applications. Homebrew Python (3.6) As of the creation of the comic, Python 3.6 is the current stable version of Python. It can be installed together with Python 2.7 on the same computer. Care must be taken to use an appropriate version for every Python program, however. Homebrew is a "macos" package management utility. Presumably, Randal installed Python 3.6 with Homebrew (as opposed to downloading and compiling the language himself). Python.org binary (2.6) Python.org is the home site of the Python language and provides its reference implementation. Among other stuff, there are downloadable installers that create ready-to-use Python environments for you (on Windows and macOS only). It makes little sense, however, to use it on a computer where Homebrew, Anaconda, and a locally compiled version are already present, since the Python.org version is the baseline one, doesn't give you any benefits, and can't be optimized for your needs. Having an obsolete 2.6 version, when the typically used 2.7 is already on the computer, also doesn't help. Some justified uses do exist (tests, programs that depend on this particular version), but in the end, an extra version of Python just adds to the overall confusion. (Misc folders owned by root) This suggests that over years Randall dropped various versions of Python environments everywhere around his computer, probably by hand without proper installers, and used root privileges to do so. The exact locations either are highly nonstandard, so it makes no sense to show them to us, or have simply been forgotten. Now it's hard to even tell where exactly those Pythons lay, what in the system depends on them, and if it's safe to remove them or not (because if installed by the root, they can integrate into unexpected places in the system; having them can break something, and removing them can break something). /usr/local/Cellar The default (normal) location of the Homebrew Cellar, the directory where Homebrew actually stores the files of the installed packages. It's a storage-only location, the files, including Python, will be symlinked from other, more convenient places in the files tree, and should not be used through /usr/local/Cellar path directly. It seems that Randall broke this safety rule in the past, so some stuff of his accesses Python directly in the Cellar. Such setup can break if Homebrew performs automatic maintenance in the Cellar (like removing unneeded versions of the packages). The name cellar is likely a reference to the practice of storing wines and other alcohol in cellars, intended as a pun of homebrew. /usr/local/opt A folder that is usually created by Homebrew. /(A bunch of paths with "Frameworks" in them somewhere)/ Python on macOS is often distributed as a framework and placed in a "Frameworks" folder. For example, the system-included Python distribution in macOS resides in /System/Library/Frameworks, and many package managers will also install the framework in a folder with this name. $PYTHONPATH The environment variable PYTHONPATH specifies the search path for Python modules to the Python interpreter. Having it refer to locations controlled by 3 different package managers, each of which is managing software for different versions of Python, as shown, is likely to lead to incompatible software being loaded together. Another pip?? Pip is a Recursive acronym for "Pip Installs Packages." There should only be one installation of pip (or other package management system) managing any given working environment. Often, additional "pip" executables are installed based on the Anaconda settings for different virtual envs. This often leads to internal contradictions in the software. Randall is confused as to how this other one relates to the rest of the development environments. ~/python/ Might be another virtualenv, or, given the absurdity of the rest of the comic, even a manually compiled python installation (many online guides instruct users to extract sources into the home (~) directory). ~/newenv/ Probably a virtualenv.  Virtualenvs are mechanisms for having Python environments that don't conflict with the system Python.  They include the Python interpreter, independent library paths, and usually a copy of pip.  The user typically installs packages using the virtualenv's pip such that they can only be accessed by the virtualenv's Python instances, while more common packages are still referenced via the system Python paths. /usr/local/lib/python3.6 The default place under a Unix-like OS for the Python 3.6 standard libraries for a locally compiled Python 3.6 interpreter. /usr/local/lib/python2.7 The default place under a Unix-like OS for the Python 2.7 standard libraries for a locally compiled Python 2.7 interpreter.
[A single frame depicting a flowchart is shown. Many chaotic arrows are arranged between the items which are:] $PYTHONPATH EASY_INSTALL ANACONDA PYTHON HOMEBREW PYTHON (3.6) ANOTHER PIP?? HOMEBREW PYTHON (2.7) PYTHON.ORG BINARY (2.6) PIP EASY_INSTALL $PATH (MISC FOLDERS OWNED BY ROOT) ????
[The endpoints are:] /usr/local/Cellar /usr/local/opt /(A BUNCH OF PATHS WITH "FRAMEWORKS" IN THEM SOMEWHERE)/ ~/python/ ~/newenv/ /usr/local/lib/python3.6 /usr/local/lib/python2.7
[Caption below the panel:] My Python environment has become so degraded that my laptop has been declared a superfund site.


Containers

Explanation:
Docker is a computer program that performs operating-system-level virtualization also known as containerization. White Hat notices that many people are using Docker for "everything," implying that he does not understand what all the fuss is about. Cueball then explains the fundamental idea behind Docker with a simple story.
He notes how difficult it can be to combine two programs and have them work together as one. This is something all programmers can relate to. His specific example is to get two separate programs to display side-by-side on a tablet. The main joke is that Cueball's solution is a surprising twist to solving the problem. Instead of writing a lot of complicated code to deal with the problem at hand, he sidesteps the problem by using two separate devices, literally gluing them together. Containerization software, like Docker, uses the same general idea but the "glue" and the "multiple computers" are done in software, instead of literally gluing two computers together.
Cueball states that he achieved "software enlightenment" when he "solved" the problem by sidestepping it.
White Hat's initial confusion comes from the fact that Cueball did not write any software, yet achieved "software enlightenment." A good programmer doesn't necessarily need to be able to write programs or even understand how they work, provided that they have the skills needed to combine existing programs to solve tasks. An alternate interpretation is that someone with little programming experience is able to create a working program simply by copy/pasting code snippets from a coding site such as Stack Overflow and "gluing" them together without really understanding how they work.
The title text makes a joke about developers writing code for use in a containerized environment. The ideal is to only write " microservices " which are modules that do just one thing and do it well. The joke here is that even when a module does many different things, you can pretend it is a "microservice" by just ignoring all of its features but one (hopefully one that it does well).
[White Hat is sitting at a laptop. Cueball is standing behind him.] White Hat: Man, Docker is being used for everything . White Hat: I don't know how I feel about it. Cueball: Story time!
[Cueball is standing by himself.] Cueball: Once, long ago, I wanted to use an old tablet as a wall display.
[A picture of Cueball's imagined tablet with two applications open side by side. The app on the left is "LiveCam". The app on the right is Google Calendar.] Cueball: I had an app and a calendar webpage that I wanted to show side by side, but the OS didn't have split-screen support. Cueball: So I decided to build my own app.
[White Hat and Cueball as before, but White Hat has turned to face Cueball.] Cueball: I downloaded the SDK and the IDE, registered as a developer, and started reading the language's docs.
[A picture of two smartphones glued together side by side, held on a backing board. The same two applications shown earlier are open on different phones.] Cueball: ...Then I realized it would be way easier to get two smaller phones on eBay and glue them together. Cueball: On that day, I achieved software enlightenment.
[White Hat and Cueball still facing each other, with White Hat's arm resting on the back of the chair.] White Hat: But you never learned to write software. Cueball: No, I just learned how to glue together stuff that I don't understand. White Hat: I...OK, fair.


IMHO

Explanation:
The conversation begins with a reference to the controversy between whether IMHO stands for "in my honest opinion" or "in my humble opinion". Some older Internet users, including Cueball, use the H to mean "humble", which Cueball references as being the norm in the 1990s. However, many younger Internet users, including, apparently, Ponytail, use it to mean "honest", which became the norm after another SMS abbreviation, TBH (to be honest) became popular c. 2011 [1] . However, the joke veers into absurdity with Ponytail sharing her unusual opinions on other Internet controversies, including:
Before the 20th century, it was common typographical practice to use an em-space (or other similar wide-space) between sentences.  In the 1930s, common practice was to use smaller inter-sentence spacing, and by the 1950s, inter-sentence spaces were the same size as inter-word spaces.  Although modern style guides all insist on single-spacing between sentences, many people prefer to include two spaces, possibly out of habit from typewriter usage (which commonly used two spaces to mimic the 19th century typographic standards).  (See also: 1285: Third Way .) Tabs vs. Spaces also refer to the programmers' debate on how to indent code correctly.
In the last panel, Cueball exclaims "OMG" (meaning "Oh, my God") to which Megan replies "Yeah, mine too", taking the meaning as "Oh, my genitals" from the 5th panel. This leads to the title text "TMI" (too much information). The pun on periods (typographical and menstruation) might also explain the reaction.
In the title text, another incorrect belief Ponytail has is believing TMI to be "tantalizing meat info," as opposed to too much information. (Remarkably, this makes sense in the context of Megan's comment about her genitals.)
The comic also obliquely references the mistaken opinion that Website polling is an accurate measure of anything; selection bias (among many other problems) renders them almost useless for measuring the general population.
Etymology of IMHO
ESR's Jargon File (later known as The New Hacker's Dictionary) has an entry of "IMHO" . It's also seen in variant forms such as IMNSHO (In My Not-So-Humble Opinion) and IMAO (In My Arrogant Opinion).
And it has been added into the Jargon File v2.1 in January 1990 , the first version under Eric S. Raymond. Maybe the acronym "IMHO" was invented by science fiction fans in frequent discussions and used on the Usenet which started in 1980. It was in common usage as "humble" in APA (Amateur Press Association) publications during the 1980s, and possibly earlier.
[Cueball, Megan, and Ponytail stand together, talking.] Cueball: I thought the "H" in "IMHO" was "humble," but Buzzfeed ran a poll and "honest" won. Megan: That can't be true. Their readers are messing with us.
[Cueball and Megan look at Ponytail.] Ponytail: Are you sure? I always used it to mean "honest." Megan: ...What?!
[Close up of Cueball holding a phone. A box with usage of "IMHO" and "TBH" from Google Trends shows "TBH" suddenly rising in 2011, with a second spike in 2014.] Cueball: It was definitely "humble" in the 1990s. Cueball: Maybe people who picked it up after the rise of "TBH" in 2011 interpreted it as "honest" and used it that way.
[Cueball, Megan, and Ponytail as before.] Megan: I can't get over this. What other wrong opinions do you have? Megan: The "G" in "G-I-F"? Ponytail: Silent.
[Close up of Ponytail, with Megan talking from offscreen.] Megan: The "S" in "SMDH"? Ponytail: "Swallowing." Megan: The "G" in "OMG"? Ponytail: "Giantess" or "genitals."
[Cueball, Megan, and Ponytail as before.] Megan: The Dress? Ponytail: Black and white. Megan: Is the database language "sequel" or "ess cue ell"? Ponytail: I've always said "squill."
Cueball: Okay, the big one: how many spaces after a period? Ponytail: None; I use tabs. Cueball: OMG. Megan: Yeah, mine too.


Driving Cars

Explanation:
This comic is about how dangerous cars are. Cueball observes that it is a giant machine, and that he is able to accelerate it up to terrifying speeds simply because he once took a brief driving test. Note that the length and complexity of a driving test varies greatly per country. 20 minutes would be fairly normal for the USA, but much shorter than what is required on most other Western countries. However, it should be noted that you sometimes have to retake the test if your drivers license has expired, so the "just because I took a twenty minute test in high school" part is partially incorrect.
This is similar to other comics, such as 1075: Warning and 722: Computer Problems , where Randall comments on how some of our routine, everyday tasks are quite unusual when viewed from a reductionist perspective. This subject has been covered in the many comics about Self-driving cars . Although this comic is not directly about such cars, the reference to Cueball steering with his hands could be seen as being in contrast with letting a computer drive (which is much safer ). The joke is that driving is in fact one of the top five most common causes of death, yet many (most?) people do not think of driving as an especially "scary" or "dangerous" activity.
The rest of the joke is in the title text, "It's probably just me. If driving were as dangerous as it seems, hundreds of people would be dying every day!" This statement is ironic, drawing attention to the fact that many people ( over 3,000 per day world-wide, about 100 per day in the USA) do in fact die in car crashes. These statistics indicate that driving is as dangerous as Cueball thinks it seems; it is not just him perceiving it that way. As a matter of fact, in most regions of the US, automotive accidents are the leading cause of death for people aged 18 to 35. It's also worth noting that a difficult-to-estimate number of people die prematurely as a consequence of pollution caused by cars.
[Cueball stands in front of a car holding his hands together in front of him.] Cueball: Time to accelerate this giant machine up to terrifying speeds and steer it using my hands, which I am allowed to do because I took a 20-minute test in high school!
[Caption below the panel:] Driving freaks me out.


Research Areas by Size and Countedness

Explanation:
This comic is a scatter plot that ranks different research fields according to the precision of the knowledge of the number of the studied object (vertical axis) vs. how large (the size of) the studied object is on the horizontal axis.
For instance, the facts pertaining to the number of United States presidents are well known (although the exact number is disputed in that Grover Cleveland is usually counted twice, because he served non-consecutive terms, so the official count exceeds the number of unique Presidents), so the study of their history is at the top of the Y-axis. This study is placed close to the Y-axis as the size of a president is about midway in size between the two extremes of the X-axis, elementary particles to the left (small) and the entire cosmos (cosmology) to the right (big).
On the X-axis, Presidents are close to the middle. Both presidents and other larger life forms (as a research area) including extinct animals (paleontology) and exobiology are all close to the same central position just right of the Y-axis, with smaller animals like birds and insects just to the left of the Y-axis. But where the number of presidents is well known (aside from the dispute about Cleveland), then the number of exoplanet life forms (exobiology) is completely unknown (and would likely be affected by other disputes, such as whether something the size of Pluto counts as a planet) and thus it will be found at the very bottom of the Y-axis, since we have no idea if there are life elsewhere and if so how many places will it be and how varied.
The 19 research areas are listed and explained in the tables below.
In the title text, mathematicians may give a third answer that the concept of counting the things being studied is not reasonable, because the things are abstract or otherwise not discrete.  There are many different types of math that blend into each other, and many have turned into separate sub-disciplines based on different interpretations of fundamental rules.  As a specific example in geometry, different interpretations of how many lines you may draw parallel to another line through a given point has lead to hyperbolic (infinite parallel lines) and spherical (0 parallel lines) geometric systems that are just as valid (and valuable, in some contexts) as the more commonly known Euclidean (1 parallel line) geometry.  As a specific example of the blending, number theory , set theory , and topology all interrelate and it is difficult to concretely say whether many theorems belong to one branch of math or another.
For a table with the coordinates given in percentage for each research field, see the table in the trivia section
This is the section with the small items with count known.
This is the section with the big items with count known.
This is the section with the small items with count unknown.
This is the section with the big items with count unknown.
[An X-Y scatter plot of research areas, written in gray font, where both axes have arrows in both ends. At the end of each arrow is a label. Above the left part of the X-axis there is a line which goes to a text about the meaning of the X-axis. Similarly there is a line to from the top of the Y-axis to a questions “asked” to those that study the given subject, their answers being somewhere between the two labels on the Y axis.]
[The X-axis from left to right, text first and then labels:] Size of the thing you study Small Big
[The Y-axis from top to bottom, question first and then labels:] "That thing you study - how many of them are there?" "We have a pretty good estimate." "We have no idea"
[The research areas names are listed here below by sorting them into the four quadrants from top left to bottom right. In each quadrant the areas are listed after most left first, and then top to bottom for those at the same x position.]
[Upper left quadrant (Small & count known):] Elementary particle physics Dentistry Shakespeare studies Ornithology Ancient Literature
[Upper right quadrant (Big & count known):] Presidential History Marine Mammology Railway Engineering Geology Cosmology* (*Depends who you ask)
[Lower left quadrant (Small & count unknown):] Pharmacology Microbiology Entymology Mycology
[Upper right quadrant (Big & count unknown):] Botany Paleontology Exobiology Black Hole Astronomy Theology
Sortable table with the coordinates in percent:


SafetySat

Explanation:
CubeSat is a standard format for small satellites that can fit in a 10×10×10 cm format with a mass of less than 1.3 kg. They have been widely used by academics for research satellites, and by both small and large companies. CubeSats have been discussed both before and after this comic, in 1866: Russell's Teapot and 2148: Cubesat Launch .
CubeSats are often launched as an additional payload on commercial launches but also deployed from the International Space Station at the Kibo-Module or other airlocks. All these satellites are orbiting the Earth in a low orbit and since they have no propulsion system they also become a part of space debris when they are out of control; Eventually they will reenter earth's atmosphere without any further hazard.
Only a few days before this comic was released the first interplanetary CubeSats called Mars Cube One was launched together with NASA's probe InSight aiming to the planet Mars .
One of Randall's influences in creating this comic may have been controversy surrounding a commercial launch of a sub-CubeSat sized pico-satellite from a launch site in India, after the company had previously been denied launch permission within the US, due to safety concerns.
There are multiple safety rules to ensure that the CubeSat cannot damage the primary payload. However, the joke in this comic is that Randall 's design seeks to break as many rules as possible.
Items clockwise from top left:
Rare-Earth Magnets Violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.10. Rare-earth magnets are very powerful magnets that have a high likelihood of messing up the functioning of nearby electronics, like other CubeSats.  Might also cause the CubeSat to stick to other satellites, as the M-Cubed and Explorer-1 Prime CubeSats did.
BIC Mini-Lighter Does not conform to AFSPCMAN 91-710, Volume 3 § 10.1.3, in turn violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.7 Fire source, resting on the can of crude oil. The pressurized butane could also make the lighter burst, but in space without oxygen the lighter never would ignite. And even if the inside of the CubeSat contains some oxygen in weightlessness a flame would go out very soon, of course if it set off the crude oil or the guncotton then it would not matter, as the CubeSat would be destroyed.
SDR/ Software-Defined Radio (Code Editable via Public Wiki) Violates Title 47 CFR Part 97 § 97.207(b), in turn violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.4.3.2.1 A radio which can be programmed to broadcast and receive in a range of frequencies, and formats. Software-Defined Radios are useful for development of new or modified wireless protocols, as well as for monitoring the raw waveform data of a transmission regardless of the protocols used. The radio in this comic is stated to run firmware which can be modified from a publicly editable Wikipedia-style webpage. Since anyone could change the radio's instructions, the radio could interfere with other satellites, or with the launch vehicle. This counts as a huge security risk, as anyone could edit it.
Laser Pointers (Fixed) Does not conform to AFSPCMAN 91-710, Volume 3 § 8.2.2, in turn violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.7 These three laser points will effectively point in 3 different random directions, which is not safe for other objects around this Cubesat.  It depends on the power of the laser pointers but, in general a laser over 5 mW can heat up and damage things given enough time. [ citation needed ] . Of course, with the satellite being in orbit it could potentially mess up the optical sensors of other satellites, but it would be a matter of chance. This could also be a reference to the book What If? , specifically the chapter Laser Pointer .
Laser Pointer (Hubble-Seeking) Does not conform to AFSPCMAN 91-710, Volume 3 § 8.2.2, in turn violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.7 Aiming a laser at a visible light telescope is potentially destructive to the telescope in question by damaging its optical sensors. This is because CCD & CMOS image sensors are designed to detect finite light sources, concentrated & focused by an optical lens. Lasers produce high light levels well beyond the (comparatively) very low intensity light which astronomical image sensors are designed to detect; The energy of these excess photons can heat up the circuits between rows of photosensitive cells to the point where they overheat and fuse. For much the same reason, originates the phrase "do not stare into laser with remaining eye". Unlike the fixed laser pointers above, this one would track and aim a laser at the Hubble, with potentially disastrous results.
CFCs/Ozone-depleting CFC Spritzer Does not conform to AFSPCMAN 91-710, Volume 3 § 10.3, in turn violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.7 Chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) are fully halogenated paraffin hydrocarbons that contain only carbon, chlorine, and fluorine, produced as volatile derivative of methane, ethane, and propane. Freon is a common example of a CFC, and the use of CFCs has been linked to a depletion of the Earth's ozone layer leading many countries to ban their use. Thus spritzing CFCs in an area relatively close to the Ozone layer may be a bad idea.
Celebratory Firework Violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.3. Does not conform to AFSPCMAN 91-710, Volume 3 § 13.2, in turn violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.7 Explosive fire source that could hit other satellites in the vicinity; Also potentially breaking the adjacent seal & igniting the crude oil behind it, turning it into crude oil that is also on fire. Could also set off the guncotton and result in an explosion that destroys the satellite. At the very least, the off-axis position of the firework within the CubeSat would most likely send the satellite into an uncontrolled spin, upon celebratory launch.
Volatile Epoxy Seal Does not conform to AFSPCMAN 91-710, Volume 3 § 10.1.3, 12.1, in turn violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.7 Epoxy is a substance composed of long-chain molecules which exhibit very strong adhesive bonds. Many mixtures of epoxy are flammable & produce hazardous fumes when burned. If this particular epoxy seal fails, everything within splatter range gets coated in flammable crude oil.
Crude Oil Violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.6 Does not conform to AFSPCMAN 91-710, Volume 3 § 10.1.3, in turn violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.7 Exxon Valdez oil spill , Deepwater Horizon explosion , Keystone Pipeline leaks ... need we say more? Of course the leakable volume would not be near those levels, but plenty dangerous nonetheless if it were to leak though a faulty seal or weld breakage or stress fractures. Containment and cleanup of such a leak would not be helped by the fact that such leakage could occur in orbit or even during launch. Oil spills in orbit might even present new and unexpected complications due to unusual behavior of liquids in vacuum and microgravity.
Guncotton Does not conform to AFSPCMAN 91-710, Volume 3 § 10.1.3, in turn violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.7 A form of nitrocellulose ; an explosive. Could be set off by the firework, the crude oil, or the spark plug. Nitrocellulose does not work reliably in vacuum and possibly caused a failure of Philae space probe .
Americium corners Does not conform to AFSPCMAN 91-710, Volume 3 § 9.1.1, in turn violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.7 Americium is a very dense and radioactive substance. Depending on the amount of americium involved, this alone could shoot the mass over the 1.3 kg mass limit. The isotope 241 Am is used in smoke detectors but also proposed for use in radioisotope thermoelectric generators in spaceflight.
Spark Plug Does not conform to AFSPCMAN 91-710, Volume 3 § 10.1.3, 10.1.4, in turn violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.1.7 Fire ignition source, if connected to electricity; excess mass if not. The electrodes on the spark plug are next to the guncotton which could ignite if the spark plug fires.  Additionally, sparks cause electromagnetic interference and electrical shorts.
Solar Panel (Found) The quality of the solar panel and the power it produces would have to be investigated thoroughly before being cleared for space flight. Also, it isn't clear on the design exactly what, if anything, it is supposed to power, or if it is just excess mass.
Batteries (eBay) The quality of batteries bought on auction sites can vary widely, and certain batteries exposed to conditions outside their design specifications can explode or leak corrosive acids . These batteries might also be connected to the adjacent spark plug. Non-rechargable commercial batteries may leak or explode if a recharge is attempted, so if this is the intention of the Solar Panel, these would escalate into an even greater risk.
Wet Sand Dispenser Violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.4.3 Possible reference to the Kessler syndrome , which refers to a hypothetical situation wherein there are enough objects floating around in low earth orbit that collisions between objects might result in a "domino effect," each collision causing more collisions and breaking objects into smaller pieces of space debris, which increase the likelihood of further collisions. Wet sand exhibits a high grip:slip ratio, where the surface tension of the water tends to make particulates clingy. Sand (silica granules) can be very harmful to a wide variety of systems, due to its hardness & abrasive qualities. Depending upon the pattern of water sublimation in either shaded or sunlit zones, the exact behavior of various quantities of "wet sand" in low Earth-orbital space might be of interest to the designers of this and of other spacecraft.
Title text Violates CubeSat Design Specification Rev. 13 § 3.4.4 Prongs that extend in the event of an unexpected sensor reading at launch could damage the rocket and/or nearby CubeSats/payloads. That the CubeSat reacts to an "unexpected" sensor reading - which could include any number of readings that aren't actually a problem - is also funny, as is the fact that this is described as "safely" securing the CubeSat and any surrounding CubeSats. Along with this, it is not unlikely that this CubeSat might be the source of any internal problem that might arise; in such a situation, having such a dangerous CubeSat further secure itself would be counterproductive, if spitefully entertaining.
[A prototype for a small cube-shaped "CubeSat" satellite, with labels on various components.]
[Labeled on top:] Rare-Earth Magnets Bic Mini Lighter Software-Defined Radio (code editable via a public wiki)
[Labeled on right:] Laser Pointers (fixed) Laser Pointer (Hubble-seeking) Ozone-Depleting CFC Spritzer
[Labeled on bottom:] Celebratory Firework Volatile Epoxy Seal Filler (Guncotton)
[Labeled on left:] Americium Corners Spark Plug Solar Panel (found) Batteries (eBay) Wet Sand Dispenser
[Labeled from within drawing in white text on top of a black rectangle:] Crude Oil
[Caption below the panel:] My CubeSat proposal was the first to be rejected for violating every design and safety requirement simultaneously.


Fatal Crash Rate

Explanation:
This is the second recent comic after 1990: Driving Cars on the subject of the dangers of cars.
It combines general statistical correlations between age and safety improvements with fatal crashes. The graphs are:
The final graph, ostensibly the product of the three previous graphs' probabilities, shows that Randall worries that he will eventually be involved in a fatal car crash unless self driving cars take over, which he believes would eliminate car related fatalities. He is of the opinion that they will take over, but that they might not do so quickly enough to 'save' him from the spike of age-related fatalities in later life.
The comic includes three smaller line graphs along the top, and then a larger line graph, which is kind of a combination of the three smaller ones, at the bottom.  A vertical dotted line is used on all these graphs to indicate "now", 2018; everything to the left of the graph has already happened (though the graphs are showing statistical history rather than actual history) and everything to the right is projected to happen, statistically.
The first smaller graph, labeled "My fatal car crash probability based on my age", shows the likelihood he'll be involved in a car crash at different ages.  The line doesn't start until slightly before 2000, probably when he first learned how to drive and started driving himself.  He's not including when he would have been a child and a passenger, just when he is the actual driver.  The two most dangerous ages to be driving are generally when you've first learned how to drive (and haven't yet mastered the skills or gained learned reflexes) and then again at an elderly age when your reflexes are slower and your senses become more limited (narrow field of vision/loss of peripheral vision, worse hearing, etc.).
The middle smaller graph, labeled "Overall US fatal crash rate per mile traveled", lists how likely a fatal car crash is on a mile-by-mile basis, regardless of age.  It used to be you were much more likely to have a fatal car crash in any given mile due to lack of safely features in cars in the 1970's.  As more safely features were introduced and mandated, some to help prevent accidents (i.e. anti-lock brakes) and some to help make more of the accidents survivable (seat belts, air bags), overall safely has improved and is projected to continue improving.
The third smaller graph, labeled "My miles traveled by car each year", is a simple graph of the distance Randall has driven every year.  As he approached 2010, he was driving a lot more then when he first started, then life circumstances presumably changed so his need to drive diminished a bit, and now it's slightly increasing again.  He has no way to predict future life driving needs, however, so the graph converges after "now" to include both gradually increasing as well as gradually decreasing driving needs.  At an advanced age he'll probably mostly stop driving.
The final, large graph, labeled "My estimated lifetime probability of being in a fatal car crash", combines these different factors into a smoother curve of gradually being safer (or at least not dying) while driving, with the possibility introduced, at an indeterminate time, that self-driving cars get to the point where they are both safe and widely adopted, at which point Randall expects the chance of a fatality to decrease to zero over a relatively short period of time (i.e. a decade).  In the event the self-driving cars do not deliver in safely and/or are not widely adopted, the safety will gradually level off and then increase a bit near older age before dropping off again, but always with a distinct chance of fatality.
As the title text points out, fixating to this degree on a single source of danger is unhealthy. But the more Randall fixates on the danger of car crashes, the safer (or maybe the less ) he drives, which reduces his chance of being in a fatal car crash.
Note that Randall used to fixate on the danger of velociraptors, there is even an entire category based on his fear of them.
If one were to become a professional driver and drive at 50 mph for 8 hours a day, 200 days a year, for 50 years - one would drive about 4 million miles - so one's risk of dying in a car crash would be much less than 1%.
[Graphs are shown inside of a panel.]
[Graph 1:] My fatal car crash probability based on my age [Label at 2018:] Now
[Graph 2:] Overall US fatal crash rate per mile traveled [Label:] General safety improvements
[Graph 3:] My miles traveled by car per year [Label after 2018:] Depends on job, where I live, etc.
[Graph 4, below the previous graphs:] My estimated lifetime probability of being in a fatal car crash [Label pointing at late-2020s:] Point at which self-driving cars become safe and widely adopted, making crashes rare (assuming that happens) [Label pointing at a gray segment after late-2020s:] Fatal crashes avoided
[Caption below the panel:] It feels weird to look at car crash statistics and wonder whether we'll all be able to stop driving before I'm involved in a fatal crash.


Repairs

Explanation:
This graph depicts the sentiment created by the act of repairing something, depending on the time it took (x-axis) and the ensuing result (y-axis). The degree of triumph and exultation (expressed in sentences in quotes inside the graph)  is strongly enhanced by the time the operation takes and is also positively correlated with the result (if any). Actions during the repair process are described in sentences without quotes.
The conclusions are rather optimistic; the most negative feeling expressed (after the maximum time of repair with the minimum degree of success) is a threat against other objects that might have plans to break.
The graph shows the main path most of his fixes apparently usually take (solid line) along with some variations they sometimes take (dotted lines).  Projects usually start out with items that mostly work, but have minor problems.  Occasionally they just need a cleaning (first dotted line).  If that doesn't work, he takes them partly apart, and then there are times he's able to put them back together and get them to either work completely (one branch of a dotted line) or get it back to the condition it started out in (the other branch of the dotted line), at which point he doesn't tempt fate by continuing, knowing what's likely to happen if he continues messing with it.  When it's still not working, he takes it apart more, starts doing less reversible things like cutting wires, and finally starts watching YouTube videos hopefully showing the right way to fix it, or at least how others fixed it.  This takes it to a state just one step above "Will never work again", after which there can be several results. One dotted line shows it's restored to being fully fixed and he feels victorious and proud that all the hard work paid off, and he thinks he deserves a Nobel Prize for his efforts. The next dotted line is when he gets it partially working again, and gives up, satisfied to at least not have completely destroyed it even though it's a little worse than before.  The third, main path result is total failure, which he could take as a personal failure but to which he instead responds with humor by admonishing the rest of his possessions not to develop minor problems otherwise the same total destruction might happen to them.  This path ends up a partial step below "Will never work again" so it's unclear what that state is... maybe that's the "throw it away" state.
The title text shows another excuse for failure. Nobody would spend five hours being a trash compactor. One could however claim to be separating the different parts for sorting into recycling bins or separating the parts that aren't themselves damaged by the process from those that will no longer be of use to anyone. This still doesn't have any tangible benefits for the one doing the sorting (although it might earn them points with the recipient).
A similar sentiment was expressed in 349: Success . However, in Success, the computer would keep developing new problems and putting Cueball in worse and worse situations while in this comic it is just that Randall has increasing trouble fixing the issue as time wears on.
[Caption above the diagram:] How well something works After I decide to fix it
[The comic shows a graph with a solid curve that decreases in 8 different sized steps from the top left to the bottom right. The X-axis shows time passes and gives the time from zero to five hours with 6 ticks with labels beneath. The Y-axis shows how well something works with 8 ticks, but only four of them labeled.]
Works great Has minor problems Doesn't work
Will never work again
0 hours   1 hour   2 hours   3 hours   4 hours   5 hours
[The solid line has six labels with eight arrow pointing to different sections, two times the same label has two arrows pointing to different sections the first two places where the lines takes a step down, and the second to two plateaus on either side of a step. In total the arrows point four times on both steps and plateaus. Both the first and final plateau has a dot has added to the line, and the arrows point to those. Above the solid line there are three dotted lines going up from three plateaus just before the solid line takes a step down, the last two of these lines split up in two, with one going higher. At the end of each of these five dotted lines there is a sentence spoken. The solid line begins at the 2nd tick on the Y-Axis and finishes at the last. The three dotted lines going up ends up at the 1. tick on the Y-axis, for the last two there are also a line ending at the 2nd tick and 3rd tick respectively. Only the first label being above the first tick on the X-axis but the last three labels are all above the last tick on the X-Axis. Here is a list of all the labels in chronological order according to the position on the X-axis. For those that has the same time stamp the top one will be mentioned first. Those at the end of a line are indented:] I start trying to fix it "It just needed cleaning!" Take it apart "Fixed it!" "Well, at least it's not more broken than when I started." Take it apart more Watch YouTube instructional videos Take a deep breath and cut wires "That was heroic and I deserve a Nobel prize." "Well, it sort of works now." (Turn to other possessions) "...And let that be a lesson to you."


MC Hammer Age

Explanation:
This is the first comic to combine the My Hobby series with the theme of listing facts that make one feel old .
In the comic Cueball (as Randall , as it is his hobby) is asking White Hat if he wants to feel old. (This exact opening phrase was used by Megan in 1898: October 2017 ). Cueball doesn't wait for an answer, though like Megan did, but tells White Hat that MC Hammer just turned 40. Surprisingly, at first, this doesn't really make White Hat feel old, he actually feels this is rather normal (compared to his own age).  MC Hammer is a pop rapper/singer who was most popular in the early 1990's for U Can't Touch This with the catch phrase Stop: Hammer Time , and shiny baggy pants often incorrectly referred to as parachute pants .
So at first it seems that Randall's attempt to make White Hat feel old has failed miserably. However in the caption Randall explains that this is part of his hobby. By "lowballing" the facts to begin with he can make people feel really old when he tells them the truth, so they learn that the correct number (age/years ago, your age at the time etc.) is even worse than the first opening statement.
In the title text he then tells White Hat the "truth": "Wait, sorry, I got mixed up--he's actually almost 50. It's the kid from The Karate Kid who just turned 40." This suddenly adds ten more years to MC Hammer's age, and the kid from the Karate Kid movies is already 40 years old. This likely makes White Hat feel old. In the original The Karate Kid , Ralph Macchio was the actor who starred as Karate Kid.
The real blow, comes when White Hat (and most likely the reader), now intrigued goes home and looks these two people up on Wikipedia. Ralph Macchio was already much older than the kid he portrays in the movie, a school kid - he was 22 years old when shooting the first movie. On the day this comic came out, both MC Hammer and Ralph Macchio were 56 years old. And Ralph is the older one of the two being born in 1961, while Hammer was born in 1962. (In fact, Macchio is older now than Pat Morita , who played his mentor in The Karate Kid , was when that film was released.)
So even in the title text, the corrections are both "lowballed" facts, so still preserving the maximum effect while adding more credibility to the claims, so people already start to feel old before the last 6 years is added to Hammer's age.
Of course, this is assuming they do look it up, and if they believe Randall the first time, there is no reason to assume this will happen. However, then they probably already feel old from the first correction.
Note that in the other make one feel old comics Randall did not apparently indulge in this new hobby of lowballing facts. As far as we can tell, those were all accurate for the time the comic was created. But if this is a new hobby, we may need to examine newer "feel old" comics extra carefully from now on. (If we want to feel even older that is.)
[Cueball and White Hat are walking together.] Cueball: Want to feel old? MC Hammer just turned 40. White Hat: Wow. White Hat: I mean, I guess that's not too surprising, right? White Hat: It's been a long time.
[Caption below the panel:] My hobby: Deliberately lowballing "Want to feel old" factoids to set up a bigger payoff later when they learn the correct number.


Morning News

Explanation:
Megan is complaining to Hairbun about her easy access to infuriating national news stories and bad opinions (editorial articles and commentary) and worries that it may be having a negative effect on her, perhaps by promoting misinformation, by distraction, or by prompting adverse emotional reaction to content; she muses that, in some way or another, this habit is probably doing some sort of damage to her brain's wiring, training it to think in ways that are not necessarily good. While the capacity of the brain to change and adapt to a person's daily habits is, like most neurological phenomena, as yet not very well understood, it's clear that something of the sort exists--scientists refer to this capacity as " neuroplasticity ."
Hairbun sarcastically tells Megan that things were different in her time, implicitly stating that access to infuriating stories via newspapers took only a tiny bit more time and effort during a morning routine compared to accessing them via the Internet.
Megan counters this idea and says that while it is true that newspapers provided the sort of national news she is being provoked by, they also had much more local news mixed in (which may be of a lighter nature, sometimes referred to in a derogatory sense as "fluff" news pieces), to which Hairbun agrees.
Megan also raises the point that bad opinions were not granted wide distribution. Hairbun is rather less quick to agree to this, and suggests that Megan not check that, revealing that Megan’s assertion isn’t entirely true. Indeed, before the Internet, newspapers were a common medium for expressing opinions, either by local columnists or average citizens via letters to the editor, and they, as with any body of opinions throughout history, were frequently noxious or ill-informed.
This comic has a similar tone to 1348: Before the Internet in that it makes fun of the idea that life and society were better "in the good old days".
The title text takes another jab at newspapers as a supposedly superior source of news. Supporting your local paper is generally considered a positive action, as it is often the best or only source for local news (national media can't focus on smaller areas, and radio/television often lacks print media's focus on investigative journalism). However, in recent years, many seemingly independent local newspapers in major cities have been bought up by financial groups rather than traditional publishing companies, and their effect on the industry as a whole has been controversial. Most notably, hedge fund groups often attempt to make newspapers profitable by cutting costs and downsizing , at the expense of quality reporting; critics call such hedge fund groups "vulture capitalists" who are throttling newspapers for short-term profit, without any thought of long-term viability or public service. The owners of the fund may also be unethical or controversial for other reasons. Thus, the standard well-meaning suggestion of supporting your local paper may no longer be good advice.
[Megan, looking on a smartphone in her hand, and Hairbun are standing together and talk.] Megan: Every morning, before my eyes even focus all the way, I read a bunch of infuriating national news stories and bad opinions. I wonder what this is doing to my brain. Megan: It's probably not great.
[Zoom in to the head of Hairbun.] Hairbun: Back in my day, we had to pay people to print out infuriating news stories and bring them to our door. And we waited until we had stumbled out to the kitchen to read them. Hairbun: Totally different.
[Frameless panel, zoom out on both while Megan has lowered her hand holding the phone.] Megan: OK, fair. But newspapers at least had more local news mixed in, right? Hairbun: Yeah, true.
[Same as last panel, except it has a border.] Megan: I bet they weren't full of bad opinions. Hairbun: Yyyyyes. Hairbun: All our opinions were good. It was a remarkable time. Hairbun: Please don't go check.


Business Update

Explanation:
This comic shows a meeting at Beret Guy 's business (as seen in these other comics ). As usual, those in the business demonstrate a misuse of business terminology and take strange happenings within the business in their stride.
Though maintaining a semblance of business-savviness through the use of many corporate buzzwords, it becomes clear that what is normally metaphorical in a usual boardroom meeting is here are quite likely meant literally. The Quarterly Reports, described as "looking good," may be literally physically attractive (rather than recording successful business dealings). Beret Guy's comment that "the office is full of cash" seems to be an ordinary comment at a glace, but him saying that the office contains a lot of money instead of has a lot of money implies that the office is literally full of money, like coins, dollar bills, twenty dollar bills, etc., and not simply economically well-off. Most businesses keep their money in banks; any business that keeps all their money insecurely in the office is either criminally shady or incompetent.
"We're producing stocks [as in the stock market, a.k.a. shares] faster than ever before." Stocks are valuable, so from an outside perspective making more of them would create value. However, the humor of this situation is that in real life, creating shares from nothing would reduce the value of existing shares (as the combined value of stocks should add up to the total value of the company...so creating more stocks means each has to be worth less to make the addition balance out). This is ironic in that typically stocks represent the value of the company, rather than being the product being created.
Alternatively, the company may be producing the leg restraints known as stocks . It's unlikely that there would be many people wishing to buy these stocks. Conversely, if what they are making is soup stocks, then it could be related to the 'rapid growth' (i.e., obesity) of the customers.
"Rapid growth" is something a business is supposed to attain for itself or its userbase, not its individual customers. If the customers are not children they are likely very concerned by this rapid growth, as should be Beret Guy if the rapid growth is being caused by his business and its products.
"Liquidating assets" typically means that assets are being sold off for money rather than being retained or used. Assets "liquidated" in a thermostat glitch, meanwhile, may have been literally melted ("turned into liquid"). It could also mean that their infrastructure is so hilariously messed up (and/or the assets so bizarre) that a simple glitch in a thermostat somehow resulted in the loss of a large amount of the company's assets. Note that this type of thing is not entirely unheard of, as shown by a hack of a thermostat in a casino that led to massive data loss in 2017 .
"Original content" is a catch-all term for unique creative products created by a website, e.g. articles, videos or TV shows. However, it is not typically used to describe sinks, which only provide water. Since the business team regards it as a problem, this means the sink is likely leaking or backing up, possibly with polluted water or rotting food waste, or perhaps creating things one would not expect a sink to dispense or even to exist (depending on how "original" this original content is).
Transmuting lead into gold was a goal of alchemists for many centuries. With modern nuclear technology, it is actually now possible to accomplish transmutation of lead into gold, and gold into lead. While the expense far exceeds the value of the gold produced by such methods, it seems plausible that, given Beret Guy's surpassing strangeness, his company may be successfully and cheaply transmuting large quantities of lead into gold and back again. Since gold is worth much more than lead in today's market, the first transmutation could indeed result in major profit, while the reverse would obviously result in major losses, and be a rather pointless undertaking for a typical, profit-oriented business.
It is also worth noting that the "largest source of revenue" may not be producing much revenue at all; it can still be the biggest if there are no others. On the other hand, past experience with Beret Guy's business would indicate that this company is making plenty of money , though they aren't necessarily sure how .
Alternately, Beret Guy may be speaking literally about their "biggest source of revenue," referring not to the amount of revenue generated, but to the physical size of the source itself. A facility capable of transmuting heavy elements would most likely be constructed around a large particle accelerator such as a synchrotron, and accelerators of this type commonly measure several kilometers in diameter. Such a facility would likely be the largest physical structure owned by a commercial entity.
In the last panel, "the girl from The Ring " refers to Sadako Yamamura, the antagonist of the Ring series by Koji Suzuki , or her counterpart Samara Morgan from the American remake , who has been referenced by xkcd several times in the past — 396: The Ring for example. One of Sadako/Samara's supernatural abilities is to appear in television screens as well as exit from them into the real world. Beret Guy claims she has done this several times in their video conferences, which may be possible if someone has hacked their video feed to play footage from the 2002 movie. However, some of Beret Guy's employees then proceed to remark that she has made contributions to the meetings in question, implying that the image of Sadako/Samara is not only alive but sentient and communicating with the employees, rather than killing them as she typically does in her movies.  It's also possible that Sadako/Samara is simply the recording from the series, and her contributions are just in keeping with the general tone of the company's video conferences. Either way, it would appear that Beret Guy's sheer eccentricity has affected his staff to the point that a digital spectre would not be an abnormal employee; they're also oddly nonchalant about a movie character appearing in the real world, and at Sadako/Samara's out-of-character behavior.
The title text refers to the May 25 deadline to implement the European Union's General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) ; this comic parodies a business meeting about what the company is doing to prepare for it. However, while normally the problem would be how to handle the customers' personal information that the company requires to retain in order to do business, in this case it seems the company does not require personal information at all, and instead, customers are sending them theirs on their own (and they refuse to stop doing it!). Even more bizarrely, Beret Guy was told by the EU (or at least, he thinks he was) that he is exempt because he is European royalty of some kind, which would give him sovereign immunity , but he wants to fix this problem anyway, just to be on the safe side.
[Beret Guy, Ponytail, Hairy, Hairbun and Megan sit around a table, left to right. Beret Guy and Megan are sitting on chairs at the ends. All others are behind the table with no visible chairs. All characters face Beret Guy.] Beret Guy: Quarterly reports are looking good. Beret Guy: Our office is full of cash, we're producing stocks faster than ever before, and our customers are experiencing rapid growth. Beret Guy: Any updates?
[Closeup on Ponytail, facing left.] Ponytail: Bad news: many of our assets were liquidated this morning due to a thermostat glitch. Ponytail: Good news: the sink in the kitchen has stopped producing original content.
[Same as panel one, but characters are facing Megan.] Beret Guy: How are our finances? Megan: Our biggest source of revenue is our ongoing project to transmute lead into gold. Megan: Our biggest expense is our project to transmute it back.
[Closeup on Beret Guy, facing right, offset to the left of the panel. Two characters speak from off-panel right.] Beret Guy: Lastly, any luck getting the girl from The Ring to stop showing up in our video conferences? Off-panel person 1: No, but honestly, she's made some good contributions. Off-panel person 2: Yeah, I think we should hire her.


GDPR

Explanation:
This comic was released on the date on which the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) law went into effect. Most people will have already seen a large number of updated privacy policies in the week or two leading up to this law going active. And while xkcd would likely be outside of the jurisdiction that the law can enforce, it technically does fall within the scope of the law (as certainly EU citizens visit xkcd). This extra-territorial applicability is one of the major keys in this regulation and can be seen in more detail at the EU GDPR Information Portal .
There are several references made to this law, but also several jokes are included about the way people treat privacy policies specifically, and user agreements in general.
The comic is a joke privacy policy, with terms that no one would agree to under normal circumstances. In most cases, website users will use websites without reading the policies, potentially "agreeing" to something unexpected.
The title text is a reference to Shakespeare's " The Tempest ", in which the witch Sycorax imprisoned the sprite Ariel in a cloven pine prior to Ariel's rescue by Prospero. As this clause cannot be escaped by anything short of restarting your computer, it may also reflect on how hard it often proves to be to opt out of privacy policy agreements and other forms to be filled on website, for all that they may appear optional. The fact that it appears as a title-text akin to a footnote, which a careless reader of the Privacy Policy may not notice at first glance, may also continue the joke of small but unexpected clauses hidden amidst a long-winded block of legalese, agreed to by users who haven't read them.
[The picture shows a long text:] Privacy policy We've updated our privacy policy. This is purely out of the goodness of our hearts, and has nothing to do with any hypothetical unions on any particular continents. Please read every part of this policy carefully, and don't just skip ahead looking for sex scenes. This policy governs your interactions with this website, herein referred to as "The Service", "The Website", "The Internet", or "Facebook", and with all other websites and organizations of any kind. The enumeration in this policy, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the users. By using this service, you opt in to quartering troops in your home.
Your personal information Please don't send us your personal information. We do not want your personal information. We have a hard enough time keeping track of our own personal information, let alone yours. If you tell us your name, or any identifying information, we will forget it immediately. The next time we see you, we'll struggle to remember who you are, and try desperately to get through the conversation so we can go online and hopefully figure it out.
Tracking pixels, cookies, and beacons This website places pixels on your screen in order to form text and images, some of which may remain in your memory after you close the page. We use cookies to enhance your performance. Our website may use local storage on your device if we run low on space on our end. We may use beacons to call Rohan for aid.
3rd party extension This service may utilize 3rd party extensions in order to play the song Can U Feel It from their debut album Alive .
Permission For users who are citizens of the European Union, we will now be requesting permission before initiating organ harvesting.
Scope and limitations This policy supersedes any applicable federal, state, and local laws, regulations and ordinances, international treaties, and legal agreements that would otherwise apply. If any provision of this policy is found by a court to be unenforceable, it nevertheless remains in force. This organization is not liable and this agreement shall not be construed. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This website is intended to treat, cure  and prevent any disease. If you know anyone in Europe, please tell them we're cool.


Selection Effect

Explanation:
The title refers to the effect in scientific fields where instead of investigating the whole population (i.e. all cancer patients or all trees) only a subset is analysed. This is common practice as the analysis of all specimens is often impractical. However, special care needs to be taken when selecting the sample to ensure that it accurately represents the general population. Otherwise the results are misleading and do not reflect reality. For example if 1000 people are asked about the numbers of cars they own but all live in a city the results cannot be generalised to the whole country. This is called the selection bias . If non-human subjects are studied this can be avoided by randomising the selection process, but this is not possible with humans as they cannot be forced to participate in a study against their will. For example, if people are asked to participate in a study about their political views it is likely that the responders care about politics while people with no clear opinion do not bother to respond. This is called the self-selection bias .
Ponytail says that people who agree to be in a study at their lab are less likely to attempt to escape. The only way Ponytail could have come to this conclusion is if she compared those people to people who did not agree to be in the study. This implies that Ponytail has recently kidnapped people for a study, and that most of the people she kidnapped called the police, as one should do when being kidnapped. This makes sense, since if you agreed to the study, you know why you are there, while if you didn't, you may have been kidnapped. As Ponytail presents this as a finding, it appears that she was attempting to establish a protocol for randomised selection of human subjects and comparing it to the normal selection process.
The comic shows Ponytail being allowed to present the results of this study at a conference; reputable scientific journals and conferences should not legitimize studies that clearly violate their ethical norms, such as by failing to obtain informed consent from human subjects before experimenting on them. Unfortunately, involuntary studies are published and presented, like this 2014 Facebook's emotional contagion study . It is not clear how many people who did agree to participate may have attempted to call the police for assistance regardless; compare the Stanford Prison Experiment . This is similar to previous comics where obvious things are presented in obfuscated, scientific ways (e.g. 1990: Driving Cars ). Of course, any study of the way people behave when being kidnapped for scientific experiments would inherently involve kidnapping them. Therefore there is no way this kind of research could be done in an ethical fashion.
The title text refers to a technique that measures brain activity, called Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) . Of course it's much more likely that people who did not sign up will resist and escape before the scan is complete.
[Ponytail stands on a podium giving a presentation in front of a chart with some box plots.] Ponytail: Our research shows that compared to the overall population, people who agree to participate in scientific studies are significantly less likely to call the police to rescue them from our lab.


xkcd Phone 2000

Explanation:
This is the seventh entry in the ongoing xkcd Phone series , and once again, the comic plays with many standard tech buzzwords, and horribly misuses all of them, to create a phone that sounds impressive but self-evidently isn't to even the most ignorant customer. The previous comic in the series 1889: xkcd Phone 6 was released 8 and a half months before this one, and the next comic 2377: xkcd Phone 12 was released five months later.
This time a nonconsecutive version number is used to match the milestone comic number 2000.
List of features (clockwise from top-center):
The tagline for the phone says that the marketing team hopes that 2000 still sounds like a futuristic number. It was common for a time to have futuristic science-fiction take place on or around the year 2000 (e.g. 2001: A Space Odyssey, Knight Rider 2000, Death Race 2000, Space: 1999), and many devices marketed in the late 20th century had a "2000" as part of their product name in order to sound futuristic. However, since the year 2000 was 18 years ago at the time of this comic's publication, this is no longer the case. The number 2000 also represents the fact that this is the 2000th xkcd comic.
The nonsensical trademarking of xkcd Phone slogans has become even more pronounced: as well as the inapplicable-as-ever copyright symbol, the slogan is listed three times as a registered trademark and twice as an unregistered one – and the second of those trademark signs is itself trademarked.
The title text refers to Retina Display , a term used to describe Apple products with higher pixel densities. The xkcd Phone marketing team would be unable to use the term due to Apple's having registered it as a trademark, as it would be a copyright violation. Additionally, the central fovea region is a portion of your eye's retina containing the most densely packed photosensitive neurons (confusing the biological retina with the electronics display of the same name). Foveated rendering is a genuine computer graphics technique intended to increase performance by rendering with higher quality to the regions of the display where the user is looking, and lower quality at the edges of vision; it is expected to be useful for virtual reality (one of the uses for cell phones) as a way to deal with the required high pixel densities while managing power consumption. There are displays with variable density, in specialist uses, but such a feature is not practical in a phone because the whole area of the display is typically useful and needs to provide high resolution (as the user's eye moves across it). Also, hundreds of pixels per inch is not considered a very high resolution, as a full-hd smartphone has 440.58 pixels per inch .
[The comic depicts a smartphone showing many uncommon features. The front view shows a mouse cursor and a circle in the middle. The side view reveals the circle as something like an old photo lens from 1900 extending far above the surface and four large buttons (camera lenses) at the rear. The third view is from the top and just mentions a "hollow ground." The bottom view looks like as it was opened by a can opener and shows a big USB connector and on the right a small black connection.] Dockless Silent Quad camera takes four copies of every picture Front-facing camera obscura 3D facial contour analysis shows you a realistic preview of your death mask Sponsored pixels Front and rear pop-out grips Humidity-controlled crisper Antikythera mechanism New York Times partnership: all photos taken with camera app are captioned in real time by reporter Maggie Haberman Spit valve Standard USB connector Coin purse-style squeeze access Hollow-ground Absorbent Keyboard supports dynamic typing Backflow preventer Swiss Army partnership: folding knife (unlocks only if Switzerland is invaded) 100% BPA-free PCB construction AMOLCD display (7-segment) Runs on battery for the first 6 hours, then uses gasoline Sharpie® dual stylus (dry-erase + permanent) Mouse cursor
Introducing The xkcd Phone 2000 We're still hoping this sounds like a futuristic number®®™®©™ ®
The stylus was previously called 'permenant'. This was later corrected, to permanent. You can still see the original image here