Self-Driving Car Milestones

Explanation:
With the creation of self-driving cars, many new milestones are being found and/or solved thanks to them. Some are good, and some are downright weird. This comic lists some that have already been achieved, some that are being worked on and some that are facetious "milestones".
Automatic emergency brakes This is another reference to how hard it can be to program human-obvious stuff (as in 1425: Tasks ). A self-driving car has to be able to distinguish a danger (cliff, person on foot/cycle/etc., other cars coming the wrong way/doing weird stuff) from the side of the road, the background, the other cars, or even a light pole safely standing on the side of the road. Then the car also has to decide the optimal response, taking into account weather conditions, road type and traffic - whether to turn aside, just slow down (as danger is not imminent), or actually do the strong brake. There are big potential advantages for self-driving cars if this problem can be solved: computers don't tend to panic as much as humans, would have faster reaction times and would have more reliable judgment .
Highway lane-keeping Sometimes, especially on highways where road delimitations might be faint or absent , or when lane markings could have faded away, a self-driving car programmed to pilot based on road markings would have issues holding to the correct side of the road. This is a bigger problem on highways than in cities, as cars move faster on highways, so the danger detection mentioned above might not manage to detect danger in time, while braking or avoiding the obstacle needs to be anticipated much more.
Self-parking Already implemented in recent normal cars, this feature is important to remove the car from the road while not in use, and is sometimes considered a difficult maneuver for drivers to master, as it requires a good "feeling" of the car dimensions, as well as of distances and maneuverability of the car, and also information about surrounding barriers. The latter parameters, being easy to sense with radar and back-camera aide, are made more reliable with computers.
Full highway autonomy The ability for a car to drive itself on a highway. As of 2017, there are plans under consideration to set highway lanes aside for self-driving cars, but this milestone would require a car to be able to operate on a highway that also has human-driven cars, as well as wildlife, pedestrians, debris and other obstacles, should they enter the highway.
First sex in a self-driving car This is not a milestone for the cars themselves, but just the age-old practice of having sex in cars, performed in a car that happens to be self-driving. Given the nature of human sexuality, it is probable that this had already happened at the time of this comic. The first public documentation of this milestone was published in May of 2019, as a video featuring coitus occurring in a Tesla Model X on autopilot went viral on PornHub.
Full trips with no input from driver The main point of self-driving cars, allowing all humans within to act as passengers. As of 2017, self-driving cars require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone. However, there could be an additional joke here that the car is driving without human input including the destination. In this case, the car itself is choosing where to go, leaving the humans helpless.
Full trips by empty cars A more complete version of the above, since with no humans present, no human can take control. This could be considered fulfilled by the DARPA Grand Challenge entrants, as the challenges are racing competitions of autonomous cars with no humans on board. Possibly a reference to 1559: Driving .
Self-refueling of empty cars This would require either: a robotic fuel station, able to refuel cars with humans inside as well; an ordinary full-service fuel station (that is, one where the station's employee performs the refueling of the car) that happens to service a self-driving car with no humans aboard (which could be arranged as a publicity stunt); a specially designed fuel station that would allow self-driving cars to refuel by docking to it (likely to require fine control of the docking procedure that would render it unsuitable for more fallible human-driven cars); or, perhaps least likely, a robotic arm attachment on the car that would allow it to use a normal self-service fuel station. Currently Tesla's robotic charging station is the closest thing to this accomplishment. It is most certainly a reference to 1559: Driving .
An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges Cars are expensive enough that, were one to drive itself off and wander, some effort would be made to track it down. As this would require the self-refueling milestone, local fuel stations could be alerted to look for the "rogue" car—and in any case, whatever payment method is used to pay for the fuel would be traced.
Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off Another facetious milestone, implying self-driving cars might obtain the capacity to hold and act upon opinions that might override safety and efficiency of transit. This would be generally considered undesirable [ citation needed ] , so this seems unlikely to actually happen, except perhaps as an unintended consequence of runaway self-learning.
Autonomous engine revving at red lights Mimicking the human practice. This is often done by human drivers who wish to draw attention to their car and then speed off as quickly as possible once the light turns green, but is regarded by most as being a nuisance. As such, this is an unlikely goal for self-driving cars to achieve.
Self-loathing cars This would require cars to become sentient enough to understand, and have negative opinions about, themselves. Depending on one's definition, though, self-diagnostic software might qualify, as they would be running on a car's computer and could express a negative opinion about the car (albeit normally limited to the context of the car needing maintenance).
Autonomous canyon jumping Although it seems unlikely that a navigation routine would ever decide that jumping a canyon is part of an optimal route, a car could be programmed to jump a canyon as part of a stunt or show, with no human driver (or any other human aboard) at the time of the jump. It is questionable how "autonomous" such a car would be, though. Could also be a reference to the next point, with another popular setting in the discussions mentioned below: "should a self-driving car leave the road and drive into a canyon, which will kill the driver (and passengers), or stay on the road and kill others?". Possibly a reference to when a Tesla was driven off a cliff and the driver and his passenger survived without injury. The car was not on autopilot at the time. Could also be a reference to the previous point where the car develops enough self-loathing to want to commit suicide. Or it may be a reference to certain Knight Rider episodes.
Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on Facebook The Trolley problem is a well-known thought experiment in ethics, in which a person must choose between passively allowing several people to die or actively causing a single person to die. With the increasing likelihood of fully autonomous vehicles, there's been a flurry of interest in this problem, centered around what a vehicle should be programmed to do in such a case (for example, if avoiding a high-speed collision required running over a pedestrian). Munroe seems to mock this debate by arguing that the true milestone would not be when the vehicle can make such a decision, but when it can argue about it on Facebook. This may refer to the idea that humans aren't capable of agreeing on a resolution to the problem, so expecting a vehicle to resolve it would be less reasonable than expecting it to be able to debate. On the day this comic was released the Youtube channel Vsauce posted a video, The Greater Good - Mind Field S2 (Ep 1) , where they tested people's reactions to the trolley problem in a fake situation where the subjects genuinely believed they were in a situation where they were choosing between saving five from an oncoming train by killing one on another track. Given such a coincidence, it is extremely likely that this milestone was added after Munroe saw the episode.
Evaluating arbitrarily complex Boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly (title text) As with the cut-off milestone, this implies the development of artificial intelligence unrelated to the basic functions of a car, though still imitating human drivers' behavior. This joke is a reference to a previous comic about honking and formal logic .
Upcoming and recently-achieved Self-driving car milestones
Automatic emergency braking Highway lane-keeping Self-parking Full highway autonomy First sex in a self-driving car Full trips with no input from driver Full trips by empty cars An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off Autonomous engine revving at red lights Self-loathing cars Autonomous canyon jumping Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on Facebook


Bad Code

Explanation:
This comic is the fourth in the Code Quality series:
Ponytail has caught Cueball in the act of writing some messy code — code in the form of a spreadsheet formula, which in turn produces another program in a language called Haskell . Haskell is a purely functional programming language, a concept that has a debatably steep learning curve, which causes it to be somewhat obscure, as referenced in 1312: Haskell . It is explained that this code will, in turn, interpret more source code, specifically code written in HTML .  Parsing HTML is notoriously tricky without a dedicated software library for several reasons, including frequent changes to web pages, a nested structure of tags and quotes that frustrates regular expressions , allowing new lines to be started almost anywhere, and different standards that are followed or not followed to varying degrees.
After Cueball excuses his bad code by stating that "nothing depends on this" (meaning that no other projects rely on this code being good to operate properly), Ponytail uses the analogy of breaking a non-load-bearing wall to ridicule Cueball's excuse. A load-bearing wall is a wall that plays a role in supporting the building. Damaging such a wall would threaten the structural integrity of the entire building, and could potentially cause a collapse. In contrast, walls that aren't load-bearing are designed only to separate spaces within the building, and do not contribute to keeping the building up. Damaging or destroying such walls wouldn't endanger the overall structure of the building. However, supporting the building is just one of the functions which could depend on having an intact wall, and non-load-bearing walls are still there for a purpose. Walls serve many other important purposes, from creating opaque and sound blocking barriers (desirable for privacy purposes, particularly for bedrooms and bathrooms), to containing and protecting water pipes and electrical wiring. Ponytail's analogy suggests that, even though poorly written-code wouldn't cause the entire program to fail, it's still not a good idea.
Immediately after, Ponytail appears to have realized that she's only inspired Cueball to go ahead and break the wall, instead of swaying him away from writing ugly code. If left unchecked, this will only end in tragedy .
This is most likely a continuation of the Code Quality series, but it differs slightly. For one thing, all of the previous strips were named "Code Quality <number>", with the exception of the first, which was just named "Code Quality". Also note that, unlike the previous Code Quality strips, Ponytail does not start using similes like "This is like being in a house built by a child using nothing but a hatchet and a picture of a house". It's also the longest explanation of Cueball's code by Cueball himself.
The title text suggests that Cueball's approach to breaking the wall - scotch-taping a bunch of hammers together - is as good as his code, and his excuse is similar.
[Cueball is at his desk on a swivel chair, using his computer. Ponytail walks towards him.] Ponytail: That's the ugliest mess of code I've ever seen. What on earth are you working on?
[Cueball swivels his chair to face Ponytail in a frameless panel.] Cueball: It's nothing weird this time, I swear. Cueball: It just looks bad because it's a spreadsheet formula.
[Cueball is turns back towards the computer while Ponytail looks over his shoulder at the computer screen.] Cueball: ...which assembles a Haskell function. Ponytail: Uhhh. Cueball: ...for parsing HTML. Ponytail: ...oh my God.
[Ponytail points away from the scene while still looking at the computer screen.] Cueball: It's ok! Nothing depends on this. Ponytail: That wall isn't load-bearing. Does that mean we can just throw hammers at it? Cueball: ...I mean... Ponytail: Wait. Crap.


Tinder

Explanation:
Tinder is a social media/dating app. The main interface of Tinder shows photos of people. Users swipe right for matches that they like, and left otherwise. The purpose of the app is to get dates, with the intent of a romantic relationship or sexual intercourse. However, in the comic, Cueball is trying to use it to request assistance flying a plane instead. If the request is genuine, this is a bad situation, because it suggests Cueball is in charge of a plane he is unable to fly, and unless he finds a match with someone who can, and is able to provide assistance, the plane will crash. Even then, unless the matched person happens to be on board, and therefore able to assist directly, providing help through Tinder messages is unlikely to be a sufficiently efficient way of solving the problem.
Alternatively, Cueball may simply be pretending that there is an emergency so that he can get matches on Tinder. In either case, depending on the jurisdiction, Cueball may be violating the law by using a cell phone that is not in "airplane mode" (in some phones, "flight mode" or "offline mode") when on an airplane. WiFi can be enabled on some flights during the entire flight; in others it may be banned during takeoff and landing. Even if he is either uploading the picture after the flight or using the in-flight internet service, he is still violating other, more serious laws (if he is a pilot, he may be liable for negligence, and if he is an ordinary passenger, God knows what he may have done...)
The title text explains that Cueball's unwise method for getting help stems from astonishingly skewed priorities and no small amount of selfishness. He claims to strongly dislike conversing over audio-only channels, and this dislike is apparently so overwhelming that he would rather jeopardize his life and that of any passengers on the plane, than put aside his own hang-ups. Even if we give Cueball the benefit of the doubt and assume that he has a phobia of public speaking, most human beings tend to automatically suspend their irrational anxieties when experiencing the fear of imminent mortal peril, at least until after the danger has passed. For example, those normally afraid of dating Cueball would "match" with him to prevent a plane crash, which may be his secret intent after all.
Randall may be satirizing people who use Tinder (and other similar social apps) by portraying an extreme caricature of a Tinder user.
This comic is similar to 1897: Self Driving , and as well as 582: Brakes , which also is about bad ways to get help in emergencies and other time-critical situations.
Note that the photo is at an angle, but the view out of the window shows the airplane to be in level flight. This could be due to haste taking the picture, or a feigned haste in taking the picture, or could suggest that, for whatever reason, the photo is making the situation seem worse than it is.
[A Smartphone is shown with the screen facing the viewer. On the screen is the Tinder UI. The main photo is of Cueball, in the cockpit of a plane which appears to be tilting to the right, holding up a makeshift sign saying:] If you know how to fly a plane please swipe right ASAP


Seven Years

Explanation:
Randall 's then girlfriend, now wife, was diagnosed with cancer in late 2010, a matter he has discussed in the comic multiple times before . Here, motivated by the seven-year period between the American solar eclipses of 2017 and 2024 , we see them reminiscing the seven years prior to the first eclipse, leaving an open question to what the next seven years will bring.
This comic is part of a series of comics and directly continues 1141: Two Years , which is shown as the first eight panels, slightly grayed out. It later continued in 2386: Ten Years .
It was released as a response to another cancer diagnosis, this is explained in the Header text , which, for this comic only , has replaced the standard xkcd updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. The header for this comic, with the active link included, is:
Becky Beaton, sister of fellow cartoonist Kate Beaton, has also been diagnosed with cancer. You can support her treatment here .
Kate Beaton is the creator of the web comic Hark! A Vagrant . Although this comic is not one on Randall's list of Comics I enjoy , he is clearly much influenced by another cancer diagnosis among someone in his own creative field.
Explanations of the individual panels:
The title text is a continuation to panel 15 concerning the horror movie The Ring . Specifically, watching the videotape in The Ring is supposed to kill a person in seven days, but the title text instead says "seven years".
With all these thoughts in mind, there is no wonder that he wishes to participate in helping a colleague's cancer-stricken sister with the unique header text above this comic, as mentioned above.
[The first eight panels, used earlier in the comic 1141: Two Years , are faded out.]
[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit on a bed, Randall's fiancée is talking on the phone. The person she is talking to, a doctor holding a clipboard, is shown inset.] Randall's fiancée: Oh god.
[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit together while Randall's fiancée, now bald, is receiving chemotherapy. They are both on their laptops.] IV pump: ... Beeep ... Beeep ... Beeep ...
[Randall and Randall's fiancée (who is wearing a knit cap) are paddling a kayak against a scenic mountain backdrop.]
[Randall and Randall's fiancée sit at a table, staring at a cell phone. There is a clock on the wall. Her head is stubbly.] Randall's fiancée: How long can it take to read a scan!?
[Randall and Randall's fiancée are back at the hospital again, Randall's fiancée receiving chemo. They are playing Scrabble.] Randall: "Zarg" isn't a word. Randall's fiancée: But caaaancer. Randall: ...Ok, fine.
[Randall and Randall's fiancée (wearing a knit cap) are listening to a Cueball-like friend. A large thought bubble is above their heads and it obscures the friends talk. The text below, split in three is the only part there can be no doubt about:] Friend: So next year you should come visit us up in the mounta a and Randall and Randall's fiancée (thinking): "Next year"
[Randall and Randall's fiancée are getting married, with a heart above their heads. Randall's wife's hair is growing back.]
[Randall and Randall's wife (wearing a knit cap) stand on a beach, watching a whale jump out of water. This is the last gray panel, with an additional label in normal black color.] Fwoosh Label: Two years
[Randall and Randall's wife (with her hair noticably longer) are walking through a forest.]
[Randall's wife is sitting down, not in the forest anymore.] Randall's wife: My toe hurts and I found a report of a case in which toe pain was an early sign of cancer spreading. Randall: Wait—didn’t you stub your toe yesterday? Randall's wife: Yes, but what if this is unrelated?
[Randall and his wife are going spelunking. The guide is gesturing deeper into the cave while Randall and his wife are climbing down.]
[Randall's wife stands on a rock above an alligator in a swamp, photographing the alligator.  Randall is on a balcony behind safety railings.] Randall: When they estimated your survival odds, I think they made some optimistic assumptions about your hobbies.
[Randall's wife sits on an examination bed, listening to a doctor holding a clipboard.] Doctor: This is probably nothing. Doctor: But given your history, we should do a full scan. Doctor: We'll call with the results in a few days.  Try not to worry about it until then!
[Randall and his wife stand above a deep pond full of fish and other objects.  Randall's wife is piloting a wired underwater camera with lights.]
[Randall and his wife are standing next to each other.  Randall's wife has shoulder-length hair covering most of her face.] Randall's wife: Hard to believe—six years ago, I was bald.  But today, after a long struggle, I finally look like the little girl from The Ring . Randall: That's, uhh... good? Randall's wife: Hissssss
[A line of six people, including Randall and his wife, stand and watch the solar eclipse.]
[The sky has been brightened.] Ponytail: Wow. Randall's wife: Yeah.
[Randall and his wife are walking together and holding hands.] Randall's wife: That was incredible. Randall's wife: When's the next one? Randall: In seven years. Randall: Wanna go see it?
[Still walking, Randall and his wife think together about a timeline.  Seven years have passed since 2010, represented with a solid line from the past to 2017; seven years in the future will be 2024, represented with a dotted line into the future and surrounded by three question marks.]
[The pair keeps walking.] Randall's wife:  Yeah. Randall's wife:  I'll do my best. Randall: It's a date!


Argument Timing

Explanation:
This comic comments on how (a) the prevalence of using mobile devices in bed, combined with (b) burgeoning use of social media, especially Facebook , has increased the potential for conflict by encouraging early morning and late night communications, when those involved may not be at their most clear-headed.
Before mobile devices were common, the ability to argue on-line usually ended when a person left their computer to go to bed. Before social media was common, arguments with friends would mostly occur in person or during a phone call. The 'old-fashioned' cycle for arguing suggests that the odds start at near zero, because most people didn't interact with others immediately after waking up unless they lived together, and even then were unlikely to get in arguments first thing in the morning. The frequency increased as the day went on, with peaks at breakfast, lunch and dinner, and a final peak in the evening. This likely indicates that people would frequently share meals with friends and loved ones, then spend time together in the evenings, meaning those times had the most potential for conflict. As the evening ended, the odds fell away dramatically, becoming very low by bedtime, and effectively zero immediately afterward.
The red line, indicating argument frequency with mobile devices and social media, has a similar trend, but is distorted by massive peaks between waking up and getting out of bed, and then between going to bed and going to sleep. This suggests that, in Munroe's experience, most relationship-ending arguments in modern times happen over social media and electronic communication, while still in bed. It's not clear whether this indicates people primarily using their devices in bed, or just that people tend to get into arguments more while posting in bed (possibly making less inhibited and diplomatic comments due to fatigue). It could also be that people objecting to their partners using social media in bed is also contributing to the number of arguments. Interestingly, this line indicates the chances of conflict in the mobile/Facebook era remains above zero for a short time after one goes to sleep. This may suggest that Randall sometimes falls asleep while writing a social media post but finishes it while sleep-typing, or it may be that he is prone to sending out ill-considered messages just before going to sleep, which are only later picked up, unwelcomed, by the recipient.
The title text talks about different types of arguers, saying that some people argue more at certain times, or in certain states. "Hangry" is a portmanteau of "hungry" and "angry", meaning bad-tempered or irritable as a result of hunger.
490: Morning Routine covers similar ground to this comic.
[Shown is a curved time plot. There is a black line, marked "Before Smartphones and Facebook" and a red line marked "After." On the y-axis the label reads "Odds of getting in a friendship-ending argument." while there is no scale shown. On the x-axis, at uneven intervals some times of the day are marked as "Wake up", "Get out of bed", "Breakfast", "Lunch", "Dinner", "Go to bed", and "Fall asleep."]
[With the exception of "Waking up" and "Falling asleep", the red line is slightly lower than the black line. Directly after "Waking up" and during the interval between "Going to bed" and "Falling asleep", the black line is near zero while the red line peaks.]


Calendar Facts

Explanation:
This is the second comic using Facts in the title.
Randall presents what appears to be a generator of 156,000 facts [20 x 13 x (8 + 6 x 7) x 12], about calendars, most of which are false or have little meaning [ citation needed ] . The facts are seeded by a mishmash of common tidbits about the time of year.
The formula for each generated fact goes as follows: "Did you know that [a recurring event] [occurs in an unusual manner] because of [phenomena or political decisions] ? Apparently [wild card statement] ."
This is the fifth time that Randall has referred to the phenomenon of a supermoon , which he typically makes fun of, most prominently in 1394: Superm*n .
The title text continues the chart with supposed real-life consequences of the trivia in the comic.
There are multiple online generators of Calendar 'facts' using this formula here and here .
All 156 000 possible combinations can be found here , lovingly assembled by hand (or rather, by a python script) for your entertainment. A random fact generator (including title text), written in Python, can be found here .
-Calendar Facts-
[Shown below is a branching flow chart of sorts that begins at the phrase "Did you know that", then flows through various paths to build up a sentence. (Note that the "→" arrow symbol is used below to indicate a new branch with no intermediate text from a previous branch.)]
Did you know that: the ( Fall | Spring ) Equinox the ( Winter | Summer ) ( Solstice | Olympics ) the ( Earliest | Latest ) ( Sunrise | Sunset ) Daylight ( Saving | Savings ) Time Leap ( Day | Year ) Easter the ( Harvest | Super | Blood ) Moon Toyota Truck Month Shark Week → happens ( earlier | later | at the wrong time ) every year drifts out of sync with the Sun Moon Zodiac ( Gregorian | Mayan | Lunar | iPhone ) Calendar atomic clock in Colorado might ( not happen | happen twice ) this year because of time zone legislation in ( Indiana | Arizona | Russia ) a decree by the pope in the 1500s ( precession | libration | nutation | libation | eccentricity | obliquity ) of the Moon Sun Earth's axis equator prime meridian ( International Date | Mason-Dixon ) Line magnetic field reversal an arbitrary decision by ( Benjamin Franklin | Isaac Newton | FDR ) ? Apparently it causes a predictable increase in car accidents. that's why we have leap seconds. scientists are really worried. it was even more extreme during the Bronze Age. Ice Age. Cretaceous. 1990s. there's a proposal to fix it, but it will never happen. actually makes things worse. is stalled in congress. might be unconstitutional. it's getting worse and no one knows why.


Virtual Assistant

Explanation:
Megan invokes her smart device's virtual assistant with the keyphrase "Okay Google", intending to follow up with a voice command (e.g. "Check the weather forecast" or "Order two tons of creamed corn" ). But before she can continue, the smart device interrupts her with a comical cacophony of assorted noises, as a supposed assistant living in the device clumsily rushes from a distant room to Megan's location. The sounds can be interpreted as: tromping down stairwells, knocking over a fragile antique, opening a locked door, taking a quick pit stop in the bathroom, going back through the door, running across another hardwood floor, opening and slamming another door, and finally running up to Megan, greeting her while clearly being out of breath.
The idea of a product that is (in reality) a virtual assistant [ citation needed ] being an actual person with physical form was featured a few days before this comic on Live from Here on December 16, 2017, in a segment in which Amazon.com and its virtual assistant Alexa were satirized as "Amazon Lazy", which delivered the user things that were already in the user's home -- or simply carried the user from one room of the house to another.  (Audio available at https://www.livefromhere.org/shows/59375 )
Randall is amused by the idea that such a "virtual" assistant made "real" might be rather clumsy. In fact, Randall finds the concept so humorous that he would like to troll smart device owners by hacking and re-programming their devices to play this sound file whenever the VA is invoked. He makes it clear that he doesn't want to create a botnet with them, perhaps in reference to the infamous Mirai attacks of 2016, whose creators pled guilty in court a week before the comic was posted. Another similar activity that is gaining popularity is hacking IP webcams with embedded speakers for comedic purposes (here's a YouTube channel ).
The title text extends the concept further. If the owner attempts to disable the feature, rather than refrain from playing the clip, the virtual assistant apologetically promises to be quieter next time; thereafter, the device plays a modified version of the clip where the noises are only slightly diminished and punctuated with additional apologies from the live-in assistant. Randall has characterized the assistant as being incapable of answering without causing a ruckus.
A previous comic, 1897: Self Driving , also toys with the idea that AI is actually just people behind-the-scenes. Sounds of things falling over and breaking off-screen is a comedic trope used in movies. The idea of making it look as if excessive work is put in to being ready to answer the user may be a reference to the Monty Python "it's" man.
[Megan stands next to a small table with a Google Home sitting on it.] Megan: Ok, Google– Google Home: THUMP-THUMP-THUMP Google Home: CRASH  THUD! Google Home: CLICK  THUMP THUMP Google Home: [sink running] Google Home: ZIIIIIP!  CLICK Google Home: THUMP THUMP  CLICK Google Home: SLAM! Google Home: THUMPATHUMPATHUMPA Google Home: H... *Pant* ...Hello... *Pant* Google Home: How... How can I help you?
[Text below the panel:] I want to hack the world's smart home devices, but not to create a botnet or anything—I just want to make them play this sound clip every time you invoke them.


The True Meaning of Christmas

Explanation:
This is the first of two Christmas comics in a row. It is making fun of the common trope in popular media that the true meaning of Christmas is about family, friends, and sharing the Christmas Spirit. It subverts the trope by suggesting that once the stories of the "True Meaning of Christmas" become sufficiently common, the real true meaning becomes to spread those stories. Thus the search for the "True Meaning of Christmas" is itself the meaning of Christmas, in a sort of "the journey is the reward" discovery.
In the last panel and title text, "Autometalogolex" is a neologism of Randall's, which can be broken down to its various prefixes and the root:
"Auto-" - Greek meaning "self." "Meta-" - Greek meaning "after," "beyond," or "in reference to." "Logo-" - Greek meaning "word" or "speech." "Lex" - "lexis" is another Greek word meaning "word"; but in this case it is more likely to be a shortening of "lexicon" (another word for dictionary), or perhaps a reference to the process of "lexing" (lexical analysis), part of the process of computer analysis of text.
Thus, "Autometalogolex" would literally mean "A word that refers to itself in the dictionary," or more precisely "the act of looking up the definition of autometalogolex", which leads to a recursion, as all meaning of Christmas stories do. Recursion and self-reference is a recurring theme in xkcd.
The term Autometalogolex might also refer to autological words, words that refer to a property of the word itself. ("noun" is a noun, "pentasyllabic" is pentasyllabic [has 5 syllables]). "Autometalogolex" is a 'meta' version of the looking up (lex) of an autological word.
Cueball finally states that Autometalogolex is his least favorite of Santa Claus's reindeer . This is not among the commonly quoted list of names: Dasher , Dancer , Prancer , Vixen , Comet , Cupid , Donder , and Blitzen . [ citation needed ] As the title text reveals this ninth reindeer could be a reference to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer , who was not accepted by the others until Santa had problems and asked it to lead the other reindeer pulling the sleigh. The title text may also imply the only effective outcome of Autometalogolex (or the newly defined Christmas) is giving headaches, as with many self-referential concepts. As headaches generally are bad, Autometalogolex is not accepted, but - as in a typical Christmas story, here driven into the absurd realm - Santa needed a headache, and Autometalogolex was there to save the day.
[Cueball is talking to a guy wearing a Santa hat.] Cueball: You’re looking festive. Santa Hat: I love Christmas! Cueball: Really? Doesn’t seem like your kind of thing. Santa Hat: It’s our most meta holiday!
[Same setting.] Cueball: How so? Santa Hat: All our Christmas stories now are about discovering the “true meaning of Christmas.”
[The same setting in a frame-less panel where Santa Hat shrugs.] Cueball: Huh, yeah. And then sharing it with others. Santa Hat: At some point, that quest itself became the true meaning.
[Same setting with Santa Hat holding a hand to his chin.] Cueball: Like a word whose definition is “the act of looking up the definition of this word.” Santa Hat: “Autometalogolex”? Cueball: My least favorite of Santa’s reindeer.


Santa Facts

Explanation:
This, the second Christmas comic in a row, provides some dubious "Facts" and "Figures" of the creature known as "Santa". We can see from the drawing that this is obviously meant to be either Santa Claus or a parody of Santa Claus. It is the third comic using Facts in the title.
This comic is reminiscent of the xkcd Phones series .
Type: Flying/Psychic
A reference to Pokémon . The type of a Pokémon describes and determines its abilities (including attacks), affinities, and general nature. In most stories Santa Claus rides a sled pulled by flying reindeer (all other Flying-type Pokémon fly under their own power) and some kind of magical power. Psychic possibly refers to his ability to know a child's activities and behavior, including when they are sleeping or awake , implying a psychic ability to read minds. There is a Pokémon based on Santa, Delibird , although it is Ice/Flying instead of Flying/Psychic.
Plural: "Santa"
The plural form of 'Santa' conveniently parallels that of 'reindeer' (as well as those of all species of Pokémon and the term "Pokémon" itself). In real life, "santa" means "saint" in most Romance languages . However "santa" is not plural in any of these languages (for example, in Portuguese the proper plural would be "santos"). Under the most common English approach for making a plural noun, Santa would have a plural of "Santas". Taking "Santa Claus" as a separate noun, the plural would be "Santa Clauses".
Active warrants: 5
There is an active warrant for Santa's arrest in 5 jurisdictions, presumably for breaking and entering or for operating a flying sleigh without the proper licensing, while drunk, or over the speed limit.
Lubricated for easy passage down chimneys
The diagram indicates that Santa's attire is lubricated to ease his traditional method of ingress and egress. This explanation is incomplete, however, as a great many chimneys have cross-sectional area substantially smaller than that of a normal human body, let alone a portly one, as commonly described. The common presence of chimney caps, fireplace dampers, and the like would also impede Santa's passage down a great many chimneys. That said, if we take the classic poem " A Visit from St. Nicholas " into account, the statement is technically true, just "lubricated" with magic rather than physical lubrication. A less classic example of Santa going down the chimney with help of magic can be seen in The Santa Clause [1] . "Lubricated" is also a reference to lubricated condoms - see "Ribbed" below.
Vertical Leap: 14 Miles
For a non-magical being or object, a vertical leap of 14 miles (~23 km), ignoring air resistance would require an initial launch velocity of slightly more than 2180 feet per second (665 m/s), somewhat over twice the speed of sound. Achieving this velocity by means of bending then straightening the legs would require an acceleration of roughly 25,000 G, placing extraordinarily high demands on the strength of the legs. As Santa does not have a particularly aerodynamic shape, air resistance would increase the launch velocity and launch acceleration requirements substantially. Santa may be able to overcome these problems due to his magical nature; however, there is clearly still a limit to what this can achieve, as there is a maximum to his leaping ability.
Sleigh Flag of Convenience: Panama
The Flag of Convenience identifies the country in which an ocean-going vessel has its registration information. Panama maintains one of the top three open registries. Owners of a vessel may choose to use an open registry to avoid labor or safety regulations of the owner's country. They may also choose such a registry to help obscure ownership of the vessel. Which concern applies in the case of Santa's sleigh is not stated, or (more likely) not known. It may also be the only type of registration available, since the north pole is not in any country, so there is no "owner's country".
However, a ship's flag state exercises regulatory control over the vessel and is required to inspect it regularly, certify the ship's equipment and crew, and issue safety and pollution prevention documents. One suspects that this does not , in fact, happen regularly with Santa's sleigh. Also, as a flying sleigh, the registry for ocean-going vessels is not applicable. Instead, it would be registered as an aircraft, with the FAA (in the U.S.), EASA (in Europe), or the equivalent in another country. Civilian aircraft have their registration number painted on their tails, but are not required to display a "flag". (However, U.S. Airways used a stylized version of a U.S. flag as a corporate logo prior to its merger with American Airlines.)
The country being Panama may be a reference to the Panama Papers
9th in Presidential Line of Succession
The Presidential Line of Succession specifies the order in which persons may become or act as President of the United States if the incumbent President becomes incapacitated, dies, resigns, or is removed from office. Having Santa as the 9th in that order would place him above the Secretary of Agriculture . An alternative interpretation would hold that Santa is the present Secretary of Agriculture, Tom Vilsack .
Assuming Tom Vilsack is not Santa Claus, Santa is likely ineligible for the Presidency, as most origin stories of Santa have him a natural-born citizen of a European country (or of Turkey) rather than the United States.  Alternately, Santa might be old enough to qualify under the "citizen at the time of the adoption of this constitution" clause, although in light of the information that Santa is actually an arthropod and/or a vampire (see below), his status as an American citizen is dubious.
Not technically an insect — actually an arthropod
This "fact" uses an absurd misconception to correct a relatively common misconception. Absurdly, Randall has mistaken Santa for a lobster, given his bright red coloration and the surname Claus (which is pronounced the same as a lobster's "claws"). This may be an homage to the film the Nightmare Before Christmas, where Jack Skellington believes Christmas Town is led by "Sandy Claws" who is "like a lobster, huge and red".
There is a relatively common misconception that lobsters are insects. In fact, lobsters are crustaceans, but there is a kernel of truth to the misconception, as crustaceans and insects are related (both are arthropods).  Thus, the "fact" states that Lobster-Santa is not technically an insect; he is actually an arthropod.
Only known vampire able to enter house without being invited
In traditional vampire folklore, a vampire cannot enter an abode without an invitation from the owner of the same . Santa, however, seems to be able to enter houses even without explicit invitation (although plenty of children do welcome him, either via written notes or by their general sentiments), so if he is a vampire he is the exception to that rule. This juxtaposes interestingly with the previous point about his arthropod nature.
His being a vampire is perhaps related to his dressing all in red, and alleged immortality.
Works with Alexa
May have any of several meanings, including that Alexa (Amazon's virtual assistant) is Santa's colleague, that Santa uses Alexa in his work, that Santa is somehow functionally compatible with Alexa, or a reference to various Santa-themed 'skills' that Alexa can be associated with. A common advertisement states that a product is compatible with Amazon's smart device, Alexa. But it could also be a play on the idea or fear that Alexa may be used to spy on people from the privacy of their own homes, much like what is claimed of Santa ("he sees you when you're sleeping, [...]"). Finally, several skills designed to entertain users of Alexa are themed around Santa Claus, including asking Alexa where Santa is on Christmas Eve, whether or not you've been naughty or nice, or even leaving the jolly old elf a voicemail.
Ribbed
A reference to condoms, which have ridges or ribbing in order to promote pleasurable stimulation during coitus (see "Lubricated" above). This also puns on the fact that, as a humanoid, Santa presumably has a rib cage. (This might directly contradict the claims about his being an arthropod.)
IUCN Red List: Critically endangered
The International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) monitors the size and viability of populations of organisms; 'critically endangered' marks a population as being highly susceptible to extinction. Santa, being one (or possibly two, if we include his wife) of a kind and lacking any offspring (and, indeed, likely being incapable of effectively producing any), will most likely be the last member of his population; thus extinction will arrive with his or his wife's death. Note, however, that the presence on the Red List implies that "Santa" is a biological species, not a fantasy, robot, or other non-biological entity. This is consistent with Santa being an arthropod and/or vampire, but would suggest that there are many specimens of Santa, while other 'Facts' (such as having a definite ranking in the Presidential Line of Succession) suggest Santa to be a single individual.
Diet: 80% Reindeer
A mocking allusion to Santa Claus's sleigh, usually pulled by reindeer. Usual folklore depict Santa Claus being extremely fond of his reindeer, thus making it a humorous contrast to suggest he'd be eating reindeer meat on a daily basis.
Liability Insurance: None
As a result of his diet (see above), alleged criminal activity (ditto), species ambiguity, and occupation, Santa would find the cost of liability insurance quite high. He instead chooses to 'go bare' and operate without any.
The title text states that as a result of intervention Santa's diet is now 20% milk & cookies, implying that previously it was 100% Reindeer. It is a tradition to leave out milk and cookies as a "gift" for Santa. If he is indeed a vampire, it is odd that Santa could survive on a diet of reindeer, milk, and cookies, since vampires supposedly need human blood to survive. Of course, his entering without being invited already shows Santa to be a highly unusual vampire. Additionally, it is possible that he consumes reindeer blood as part of his reindeer diet (vampires living off animal blood is not unheard of in modern fantasy). Related to that may be the observation that he seems to develop "nutritional deficiencies" when going below 80% reindeer meat, as that would logically result in him consuming less blood and thus starvation due to his vampiric nature.
[An annotated picture of Santa is shown.] Santa Facts and Figures
Type: Flying/Psychic Plural: "Santa" Active Warrants: 5 Lubricated for easy passage down chimneys Vertical leap: 14 Miles Sleigh flag of convenience: Panama 9th in presidential line of succession Not technically an insect—actually an arthropod Only known vampire able to enter house without being invited Works with Alexa Ribbed IUCN red list: Critically endangered Diet: 80% Reindeer Liability Insurance: None


Phone Security

Explanation:
This comic pokes fun at various phone security measures. At first, it covers some real measures, and then continues on to measures that are clearly somewhat overzealous or otherwise humorous. It is worth noting that all of the options are turned ON in the screen shown, so apparently the owner must be very afraid that their phone is going to be stolen, or just wants to see what will happen.
These may be options that would appear on the xkcd Phone , but that is not mentioned specifically, and this comic does not appear to be directly linked.
The first two options: Set Passcode to Unlock , and Erase phone after 10 failed unlock attempts are both real security measures found on many phones. The remaining options would rely on the fact that the phone could sense that it is stolen:
If stolen, phone can be remotely... The items on this sub-heading indicate the requirements of a separate device (i.e. the owner's laptop). The phrasing leaves it ambiguous whether they are only available when it is sensed to be stolen, or if they are simply indicators of whether the owner can perform the given actions when activated.
If the phone is stolen, play an earsplitting siren until the battery dies or is removed : This would be to draw attention to the thief, and discourage them from stealing future phones. Noticeably, it does not specify how the phone determines it is stolen, and, similar to the "detonate" option above, this has the potential to be an irritation if it is activated by accident, glitch, or hack.
If the phone is stolen, do a fake factory reset. Then, in the background... : This series of options is all humorous, indicating that the phone would allow the thief to think that it had factory reset, but the phone would, in fact, not do so, and would instead annoy the thief by doing various horrible things to them.
The title text extends the last category with: ...wait until they type in payment information, then use it to order yourself a new phone. If the thief used the thief's own payment information, then this would be the ultimate in poetic justice, as it would basically say that the user does not care if their phone gets stolen, because the thief will end up unintentionally buying them a new one. If the thief were to complain about this, they would have to admit that they had stolen the first phone in order to do so, which they would be disinclined to do. However, if the thief used fraudulent or stolen payment information (whether stolen by the same thief or acquired online), then the replacement phone would be purchased with the payment information of the other victim, and when that person complained, the owner of the stolen phone would appear to be the person who stole the payment information, and might be arrested for that theft.  This is a very, very bad idea [ citation needed ] .
Note that all of these security measures, with the possible exception of the remote detonation, could theoretically be done by a security app on a typical smartphone, although the fake factory reset and most (if not all) of what follows would likely require a phone to be rooted and have a custom operating system installed. With the advent of open source phones such as the Librem 5, tricks such as these have become much easier for the average programmer to implement, and some may already exist in the wild. (Even the remote detonation might be possible on some phones that prevent battery explosions with software rather than physical circuitry.)
[The content of a configuration screen on a smartphone is shown. All items listed are activated as indicated by green switches.] Security Options Passcode to unlock (Set Code) Erase phone after ten failed unlock attempts
If stolen, phone can be remotely Tracked Erased Detonated
If phone is stolen, erase data and play an earsplitting siren until the battery dies or is removed
If phone is stolen, do a fake factory reset. Then, in the background...
...constantly request dozens of simultaneous rideshares to the phone's location ...automatically order food to phone's location from every delivery place within 20 miles ...if thief logs in to Facebook, send hostile messages to all their family members ...automatically direct self-driving car to drive toward phone's location at 5 mph ...take photos of random objects at the thief's address and post them as "free" on Craigslist and Nextdoor


2018

Explanation:
In this, the first of two New Year comics in a row, Megan wonders whether 2018 will be a leap year . Cueball thinks 2018 will not be a leap year, and Megan responds that she "doubts anyone knows at this point." This appears to be a jab at people who suggest that anything they don't know is generally unknown. As Cueball says, leap years occur every four years (though there are a few exceptions - a year divisible by 100 is not a leap year, unless it is also  divisible by 400), adding an extra day to account for the fact that Earth takes a bit longer than 365 days to orbit the Sun. Therefore, most years that are a multiple of four are leap years. As Megan says, this is easy for odd-numbered years, since no odd numbers are divisible by four. However, for even-numbered years, it isn't quite as simple. (Though, since the number 2,000 is evenly divisible by 4, the problem can be reduced to the much simpler question of whether the number 18 is divisible by 4.)
The last panel expresses a misunderstanding of modern public-key cryptography , which relies on the fact that it is difficult to factorize large numbers. Megan is applying this concept to the year, claiming that it is hard to determine whether or not 2,018 is a multiple of four and hence is a leap year. In reality, factorization is not needed here, since we already know the factor in question, which is four. Megan states that, if it were possible to factor large numbers with a calculator, modern cryptography would collapse. While true, it is true only for truly large numbers (hundreds of digits), and no factorization is needed in this case.
At the end of the strip, Megan hopes the answer can be brute-forced by February. Brute force is a method of breaking cryptography by trying every possible option until one works. This is misdirection upon misdirection, in that, even if we needed to factorize 2,018 (which we don't), the simplest brute-forcing algorithm would need to try only 14 numbers -- each prime from 2 to 43 (the square root of 2,018 is closest to 44). In cryptography, the algorithms use numbers much, much bigger than 2,018 -- on the order of hundreds or even thousands of digits.
The title text refers to calculating which day Christmas will fall on. As Christmas always lands on December 25 by definition, the day of the week varies from year to year, though it's always the 359th or, in leap years, the 360th day of the year. Still, determining which day of the week December 25 lands on is not a difficult problem to solve, requiring only a few mathematical operations to compute. Alternatively, this might be an oblique reference to Easter, the date of which jumps from year to year according to a multi-layered algorithm that most people don't know. The changing date of Easter was recently included in 1930: Calendar Facts . Additionally, uncertainty with the regard to the date of Christmas has also been referenced in 679: Christmas Plans .
A handy coincidence to help with this problem for those living in America or following American politics is that leap years fall on presidential election years.
[Megan is walking.] Megan: I wonder if 2018 will be a leap year.
[Now it turns out that Cueball walks behind Megan.] Cueball: ...it won't be, right? Megan: I doubt anyone knows at this point.
[Same scene in a frame-less panel.] Cueball: No, it's definitely not. Leap years are divisible by 4. Megan: Right, and for odd numbers, that's easy. Megan: But 2018 is even. Megan: 50/50 chance.
[Zoomed-out view with both walking in silhouette on a dark slightly curved ground.] Cueball: I can settle this with a calculator. Megan: No way. If it were easy to factor large numbers like that, modern cryptography would collapse. Cueball: I see. Megan: I just hope we manage to brute-force it by February.


Desert Golfing

Explanation:
A common joke surrounding the turn of the New Year is to make a comment about "next year" on New Year's Eve or "last year" on New Year's Day. While technically correct, some people may derive a snarky humor from making observations about the span of years when the reality has been more along a span of days or even, as in this comic, only a few hours.
In this, the second of two New Year comics in a row, with this one being released on New Year's Day 2018, Cueball observes that he has technically "been playing Desert Golfing nonstop since late 2017". Desert Golfing is a game that takes place in an endless side-scrolling desert, where the player can shoot a golf ball using a one finger swipe to determine direction and power. The entirety of the "golf course" is made of sand, making the physics of the golf ball more difficult to predict and control, as if from a bunker. After reaching a hole, the game automatically generates a completely random new course, making the game go on forever, and the score is purely dependent on how long you play the game.
Although Cueball's statement could be taken to mean he has devoted his waking hours to the game, the clock on the wall reveals both the truth of his comment and that he is not exaggerating. While he has only been playing the game for two and a half hours, give or take, those two-and-a-half hours started at about 11:10 PM on December 31st, meaning that it is presently January 1st and he has indeed been playing the game "nonstop since late 2017" (assuming he has not taken a break to eat or use the facilities).
Someone off-panel acknowledges the joke by saying that he should "take a break in 2018", and Cueball declares it is his New Year's resolution to go to bed. This is not a typical New Year's resolution, as most resolutions are about something you need to change in your life from last year, and going to bed (or at least sleeping) is not something you would have been able to avoid for a whole year. [ citation needed ] This may also be making a joke about how quickly many New Year's resolutions are broken, as Cueball has singularly failed to stick to his. New Year's resolutions have been mentioned before, the first time in 1154: Resolution , where the tradition of New Year's resolutions is the entire joke.
The title text states that the only reason Cueball has stayed up to play Desert Golfing is to watch the ball drop into hole number 2018 — this is a pun on the Times Square Ball , a pyrotechnical device in New York City that lights up spectacularly as soon as the new year begins. Because the event is televised on many news channels, "watching The Ball drop" is now a common way to count down the seconds to the new year. Cueball takes this literally, and tries to drop his (golf) ball to signify the beginning of 2018.
[An analog clock showing 11:12 hangs on the wall left above of Cueball who is sitting on a couch leaning on the left armrest, feet up on the couch. He holds a smartphone horizontally and the screen is clearly brown. Above him is a large brown bubble showing the content of the screen, thus showing that he is playing Desert Golfing. The sky is light brown, the sand below is dark brown, the golf ball is white and is followed by a white line showing its trajectory towards the gray flag stick with a yellow flag on it, which is to the right of the screen. The hole is just before the flag stick, an indentation in the sand.]
[The clock is now showing 12:00 and Cueball is sitting straight upright on the couch, the screen display above him shows that he continues to play, but now on a new golf hole with different contours. The trajectory of the ball is much more complicated than before, and it seems he has had to play a very special loop shot to get out of a deep pit.]
[The clock is showing 12:34 as Cueball once again sits as in the first panel, but now towards the right armrest and he is almost lying down with his head on the rest. Once again the screen is visible above him and it is shown that the hole has changed again.]
[The clock is showing 1:47 when Cueball, now sitting up against the right armrest, finally speaks while continuing to play, with the brown screen visible, as he holds it on his knees, but the screen display is not shown. An off-panel voice answers him from the right.] Cueball: Technically, I've been playing Desert Golfing nonstop since late 2017. Off-panel voice: Might want to take a break sometime in 2018. Cueball: Yeah, my New Year's resolution is to go to bed.


IATA Airport Abbreviations

Explanation:
This comic is making fun of the three-letter codes assigned to mostly all airports in the world. These codes are overseen by the IATA (International Air Transport Association) . Some airport codes are very intuitive, taking letters from the city name (e.g., DEN for Denver ). Other codes are somewhat intuitive, taking a letter or two from the nearby city name but adding an additional letter (e.g., LAX for Los Angeles ). Other codes make seemingly no sense at all (e.g., ORD for Chicago's O'Hare International , due to it formerly being named Orchard Field). In many cases, the airport codes appear to have been chosen (or invented) because they are also common abbreviations and acronyms. Randall is obviously confused by these codes, replying to his friend that he definitely knows what those mean without googling, basically revealing that he used Google to search for the codes, and has created a list for us to memorize. In fact, this list is complete nonsense, with some of the "airports" mentioned not even existing, and the existing airports are all paired with the wrong codes, except for Huntsville (HSV) and Toronto Pearson (YYZ).
If we use the table provided, Randall's friend is flying into Edwards Air Force Base and then "down to whatever" -- not a real flight. [ citation needed ] In actuality, the friend is flying into Newark tonight and Detroit tomorrow.
The title text is a pun about the acronym IATA , stating it stands for I nternational A irpor T A bbreviation. This is as wrong as almost everything else here, because the real International Air Transport Association is not an organization only responsible for abbreviations in aviation. This acronym also leads to some redundancy in the title by making the true title of the comic be "International Airport Abbreviation Airport Abbreviations," which might be an example of RAS syndrome .
This comic could be inspired by the recent news about an Indian businessman charged with making a bomb threat at a Mumbai airport claiming he was misheard by a telephone operator while asking for the BOM to DEL flight status.
It may also be a reference to tongue-in-cheek ' teen texting code ' explanations for older generations.
[A list with abbreviations and their meaning is shown in two columns.]
[On top left the header reads:] Confused by those airport abbreviations used by your friends who fly a lot?
Just memorize this list!
[On top right an iMessage conversation is shown:] [There is a text in grey, on the left:] I'm flying into EWR tonight, then DTW tomorrow. [Answer (in blue, two message bubbles on the right):] Ok, cool I definitely know what those mean without Googling
[The list:]
AMD Amsterdam TMI Turkmenistan International BAE Beijing LAX Las Angalas ORD Orlando EWR Edwards Air Force Base IAD Idaho (Boise) PHL Pittsburgh JFC Jefferson City SWF Sherwood Forest IUD Washington Dulles KUL Kingdom of Loathing FYI Fayetteville STL Silent Hill LOL Louisville BUF Sunnydale ATL Atalante TBA Tribeca HGM Hogsmeade SMH Smithfield OMW Omaha BLT Baltimore ANC Ankh-Morpork YYY Toronto Downtown HSV Hunstville YYZ Toronto Pearson SAN San Diego MIA Colombo, Sri Lanka SAN San Juan CLT [Censored] SAN San Jose FHQ Fhqwhgads SAN San Francisco FFS Flagstaff Station SAN San Antonio DTF Dartford DWI Delaware International MDW Midway Atoll DFW Down for Whatever PDX Pordlanx DTW Down to Whatever SEA [Indicates Water Landing]


Meltdown and Spectre

Explanation:
This comic was inspired by the Meltdown and Spectre bugs found in certain processors; these vulnerabilities were disclosed to the public in the week of this comic. The bugs result from flawed implementations of speculative execution , and made big news because they broke the "walls" between programs executing concurrently on the same computer, in some circumstances allowing malware to steal secrets from normal, bug-free programs.
Speculative execution is a technique used to speed up the execution of computer programs. Processors handle instructions in a series of steps , like an assembly line. The processor works on several successive instructions, each at a different stage in the assembly line. It may start speculatively executing instructions that follow a particular result of a decision before the execution of the logic that makes that decision is finished. Once the decision is made, it keeps results from the selected path, and discards unnecessary results. This allows it to keep doing useful work while some slower decision is made.
In the Meltdown and Spectre bugs, the results of speculatively executed instructions are not completely discarded, allowing them to affect things that the program logic should have prevented.
Ponytail uses the Trolley Problem , and trolley (tram) tracks in general, as an analogy for streams of instructions in a program. The Trolley Problem is a thought experiment where an out-of-control trolley is heading to a switch which you control. Leaving the switch as-is will cause it to kill multiple people (typically five) stuck on the tracks, but switching the track will cause it to kill only one person, who would not have died if the switch was left untouched. This creates the ethical dilemma of passively causing multiple deaths, versus actively causing one. The Trolley Problem has gained significant memetic traction, helped in no small part by its frequent inclusion in “introduction to philosophy” type courses. The problem has seen revitalized interest with the emergence of autonomous cars , which may be faced with what are, essentially, such choices in emergency situations.
As an analogy for multiple mutually exclusive paths being executed at the same time, Ponytail invokes certain interpretations of quantum mechanics , where quantum-level particles can be viewed as taking every possible path at once, with the result being the sum of all of them. This is an idea popularized by the common interpretation of Schrödinger's cat , where the cat is both dead and alive until some event results in one of the states being selected.
The phantom trolley driving through walls is an analogy for the computer instructions being able to access areas of memory that should be protected from them. This may also be a reference to quantum tunnelling , or even simply a joke about the phantom trolley being a literal phantom, i.e. incorporeal.
In many cases, contrary to what the comic implies, both paths are not taken simultaneously during speculative execution. A branch predictor may be used to select the most likely path, and the effects should be completely erased if the predicted path is incorrect. Both branch prediction and taking both paths (known as eager evaluation) are considered speculative execution and are affected by these bugs.
The Row hammer problem had been known for many years before this comic was published. A common form of computer memory is constructed from tiny capacitors organized in a two-dimensional grid of rows and columns. Capacitors store charge to represent information. By applying a pattern of memory access that rapidly changes a row of capacitors, you can cause charge to overflow to nearby rows and incorrectly change their states.
Ponytail mentions that we especially suck at building "shared computers" because Row hammer, Spectre, and Meltdown all break down the security divisions built between programs and between users. A hacker running a separate program in a separate account shouldn't be able to access your data or change the behavior of your program, but these problems allow them to. This is particularly dangerous for time-sharing, servers, and the cloud , where different programs, websites, or even companies can be sharing the same hardware.
Cueball takes her explanation literally, and comes to the conclusion that the cloud "is full of phantom trolleys armed with hammers", and Ponytail cannot be bothered correcting him. Cueball's final line ironically suggests that these exploits can be repaired with a simple software update. This seems to be mocking the naive misunderstanding that software can make up for flawed hardware. However, the exploits discussed in this comic are not trivial oversights, but reflect fundamental issues in the design of modern processors.
A zero-day vulnerability is an attack that takes advantage of a vulnerability that hasn't been published yet, and so is not patched in any vulnerable system. The title text suggests that, until it was 'disclosed' here, nobody was aware that as well as Row hammer, computer servers can also be harmed by regular hammers. In reality, this would be obvious to most people. [ citation needed ] One might "patch" a server against this attack by plating it with stronger metal.
[Zoom out with Cueball and Ponytail walking to the right on the ground.] Cueball: The Meltdown and Spectre exploits use "speculative execution?" What's that? Ponytail: You know the trolley problem? Well, for a while now, CPUs have basically been sending trolleys down both paths, quantum-style, while awaiting your choice. Then the unneeded "phantom" trolley disappears.
[Zoom in on only Ponytail who has turned towards Cueball off-panel left.] Ponytail: The phantom trolley isn't supposed to touch anyone. But it turns out you can still use it to do stuff. Ponytail: And it can drive through walls.
[Cueball and Ponytail, lifting both her palms up, are standing, facing each other.] Cueball: That sounds bad. Ponytail: Honestly, I've been assuming we were doomed ever since I learned about Rowhammer.
[In a frame-less panel they continue talking, both with their arms down.] Cueball: What's that ? Ponytail: If you toggle a row of memory cells on and off really fast, you can use electrical interference to flip nearby bits and— Cueball: Do we just suck at...computers? Ponytail: Yup. Especially shared ones.
[Zoom out again as they resume walking to the right on the ground. Cueball is lifting his smartphone up and looks at the screen.] Cueball: So you're saying the cloud is full of phantom trolleys armed with hammers. Ponytail: ...Yes, that is exactly right. Cueball: Okay. I'll, uh... install updates? Ponytail: Good idea.
Although this is clearly not part of the series Code Quality , it might be the same two characters, with Ponytail again displaying a much better understanding of computers than Cueball with his Computer Problems .
The Trolley problem was mentioned a month before this comic in the last milestone on this list in 1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones ; see more there regarding why this problem might have resurfaced in xkcd. Three years before that comic, a comic was even named after the problem: 1455: Trolley Problem .
The fact that compromising IT systems is sometimes easier done physically than logically is also mentioned in 538: Security .


2016 Election Map

Explanation:
The United States elects its president not directly by popular vote but by an Electoral College composed of a number of electors, partially proportional to population, from each state. Presently, a "winner-take-all" system is used in most states: the winner of the popular vote in each state receives all of the electoral votes for that state. Though, strictly speaking, the electors are not required to cast their ballots according to this system, many states impose penalties on them if they don't. Technically, the popular vote in each state is to elect a slate of electors who in turn elect the President. Many Republicans tend to claim that Trump had a strong victory, and show maps filled with large, red counties. These maps look even redder than the state maps, so they make it look like Trump won a large nationwide victory. However, as Randall points, out, those maps are misleading, and using them to promote your candidate is a bit disingenuous.
The news media commonly use maps to represent the progress or results of the election. Because of this winner-take-all system, states won by the Democratic candidate are typically portrayed in one color (blue is currently in wide use), and states won by the Republican candidate in another (currently red). In recent years, this distinction has gone far beyond electoral maps, and states are often referred to as "blue" or "red" by their political leaning in many contexts.
Randall seems to be making a point on the shortcomings of both maps, by showing how different the actual vote was from the red and blue choropleth maps. He mentions how strange cartograms look, and by creating this map he hopes that it will convey the actual vote by geography well, while keeping the normal geographic boundaries.
The title text repeatedly attempts and fails to spell the term choropleth map , a map that uses shading or colors to show information about a geographic area, such as a 'normal' election map that shows districts/states colored to the party that won them. In geography classes, "choropleth" is known as a chronically misspelled and mispronounced word. This is because the "choro" syllable sounds very similar to the Greek prefix "chloro", meaning "green in color" or "containing chlorine". The similar "pl" consonant cluster in the second syllable adds to this, resulting in metathesis . A choropleth map has many shortcomings. For example, many large Western states have small populations and thus don't make much difference to the electoral vote count, but look like a broad swath of red or blue on the map. The map overall can have the appearance of being very red or very blue, suggesting to the eye an overwhelming victory, when in fact the election can be extremely close. Donald Trump has repeatedly emphasized how red the map appears, especially when broken down by county, even though he actually lost the popular vote. In a speech on June 21, 2017, he said, "And those maps, those electoral maps, they were all red. Beautiful red."
In this cartoon, Randall seems to be pointing out the shortcomings of the choropleth map (or perhaps this overall red-state/blue-state mentality). His map shows more clearly the small impact of the low-population states, as well as how combination of the winner-take-all system with the typical election maps fails to show the sometimes large number of opposition votes in a given state. This map also combines all third-party or independent candidate into one type of marker (green), making it clear that a substantial number of votes went to these candidates.
A cartogram , also referenced in the title text, is a map that changes the size, and sometimes shape, of a region based on population or some other metric. Like a choropleth, these maps also have many shortcomings, the most obvious being the distortion required for the maps to work sometimes making it difficult to tell what and where the region actually is. Many versions of cartograms use squares to represent each region, with the size of the square corresponding to the metric measured. Often, it's easier to find specific places on these square maps.
A similar map was actually used during the 2016 election by the Financial Times ( discussed here ). It made similar use of colorless states for geographic information and color in proportion to population for electoral information. However, the FT map is based on the electoral college, not the popular vote. It in turn is similar to a 2013 map used by The Guardian for the 2013 Australian election ( discussed here ). Other compromise maps of geographic and electoral information exist, such as maps of geographically accurate but re-scaled states: a 2016 election example is here , indirectly inspired by a similar vox.com map .
Shortly after the election Randall made several comics that could indicate his emotions regarding the result, but references to the election have become fewer and farther apart.
With a stick figure representing 250,000 votes, Trump would have exactly 251.918544 stick figures and Clinton would have exactly 263.37844 stick figures according to the final results . The map shows 252 Trump stick figures and 264 Clinton stick figures, meaning Randall used ceiling rounding instead of conventional rounding, which would have shown Clinton with one fewer stick figure.
[A map of the United States, with Hawaii and Alaska offset, is shown. Across the states red, blue and green Cueball like stick figure are scattered about, much more on each coast, and very few in the central parts, especially in the mid west. There are about the same amount of red and blue stick figures. There are not many green, but they are represented almost in any state with more than 10 stick figures.  Above the map there is a large bold title. Below that there is a legend description explaining the red, blue and green Cueball stick figure with labels of who they represent next to them. Below this, in light gray text, are two lines of explanation of how the map was created:] 2016 Election Map Each figure represents 250,000 votes [Red stick figure:] Trump [Blue stick figure:] Clinton [Green stick figure:] Other Based on 2016 election results Votes are distributed by states as accurately as possible while keeping national totals correct. Location within each state is approximate.


The Food Size Cycle

Explanation:
This comic illustrates the evolution of the size of food items over time, using the example of a sandwich. It starts with a regular sandwich at the beginning. As the sandwich became more popular, sandwich makers had an arms race concerning sandwich size as they competed for customers. Eventually, these sandwiches became too big to eat comfortably. At this point (according to Randall) some smart guy invented the panini, a small sandwich, to cater to those who couldn't find a sandwich small enough for their needs. Eventually, the panini itself will begin to grow, and either displace or become indistinguishable from the existing giant sandwiches, and the cycle will repeat. This is similar to Clayton Christensen's theory of disruption, where products keep adding features beyond what is needed by customers, and is then resolved by cheaper products with adequate features.
The title text suggests that the same cycle may be applicable to the depth of pizza crust, with thin crusts being replaced with deeper and deeper ones, eventually necessitating a resurgence in thin crust. Randall laments that despite seeking funding to conduct experiments to test that hypothesis, he keeps getting turned down, probably because it sounds suspiciously like he wants to be paid for eating pizza.
[There is a chart with the x-axis shown on top labeled "Food item size" and the y-axis labeled "Time". There are arrows pointing away from the top left corner on both axis.]
The food size cycle [A normal sandwich is shown high up the chart. The text on the right reads:] Initial normal-sized food (sandwich, burger, burrito, taco, etc)
[The next part below, further in time, has no pictured item but the text reads:] Food becomes more popular
[Next below a larger sandwich is shown.]
[And below again an even larger sandwich is shown. The text to the right is:] Size arms race: average item grows as restaurants compete to offer the largest version to hungry customers
[On the left side, representing small food sizes, the text embedded in arrows pointing to every direction is:] Void
[Below of that an enormously large sandwich is shown. The text is:] Food gets too large to eat comfortably
[More below a new row on the left for small sizes comes up, inside is a panini. The text reads:] New format appears and fills the void (panini, burrito bowl, taquito, slider, etc)
[Below of all the two paths may converge, indicated by two arrows pointing downwards and slightly together. The final text reads:] Merger or replacement


Dying Gift

Explanation:
In some cultures it is customary to make bequests, usually in written form called a will, of some or all of your possessions, to be given to people close to you after your death. Often, items bequeathed may be of purely sentimental value to the giver. That sentimental value may not carry over to the recipient, but they may, nonetheless, feel obliged to keep possession of them in order to respect the giver's wishes. In some cases, if the items are unwanted, unusable, or the recipient simply doesn't know what to do with them, they may elect to place the items in storage, rather than dispose of them.
Randall therefore suggests the following prank to be played by someone near death: bequeath an item that is intentionally very difficult to store or even move. In this case, the old dying man gives his Foucault pendulum to someone in his family.
A Foucault pendulum is a type of pendulum that is commonly used in science museums to practically demonstrate the rotation of the Earth. In order to attain the sensitivity required to do this, the pendulum must be very long - in this case, it is thirty feet (approximately nine meters) in length: about the height of a large hall. It must also be undisturbed; any disruption, such as a touch on the pendulum, will prevent it from accurately portraying the rotation of the Earth.
By insisting that the pendulum never stop swinging, the old man has made it impossible for the pendulum to be simply detached and stowed away. Even transporting it will be extremely difficult, as it is thirty feet tall, and any change to its orientation will disrupt its swing. (Note, however, that the old man didn't specify that it has to work as a Foucault pendulum; merely, that it must not stop swinging.) He has also added an extra layer of guilt to the 'gift' by suggesting that if they do ever let it stop swinging it will be because they have forgotten him.
The title text takes it even further, with a life-sized ice sculpture replica of the Pietà which was blessed by the Pope. A Pietà is a representation of the body of Jesus Christ on the lap of his mother, Mary , in the aftermath of his Crucifixion . When styled "The Pietà" it usually refers to Pietà a Renaissance sculpture by Florentine artist Michelangelo . It is widely considered one of the masterpieces of sculpture . While replicas of Pietà do exist, there are none known to have been made of ice , let alone made of ice and blessed by the Pope . That said, if such a sculpture were made, there are several ways to obtain a papal blessing. Such a sculpture would be over six feet tall and weigh several tons, and would have to be constantly maintained at sub-zero temperatures. While the gift could potentially be very valuable, the statement "all gifts must be removed from my estate within 24 hours" would dramatically increase its chances of melting.
For both the pendulum and the ice sculpture, it is theoretically possible to devise a way to remove, transport, and store them with all the necessary conditions met, but they would probably be huge and very expensive logistical feats, requiring substantial planning and preparation. The final condition that everything must be removed within 24 hours makes such a feat practically impossible.
As a side note: Catholic canon law would discourage selling such a sculpture and, were such a sculpture to melt, the water would need to be collected "burned, buried, or consumed". These are the proper ways to dispose of a blessed object.
Alternatively, the title text could be read as meaning that there is a Pietà that has been blessed by the Pope, which formed the basis for this replica, though that would make the ice sculpture itself somewhat less remarkable.
[An old man (wrinkled and deformed head with a bit of hair left) is lying in his bed, head on a pillow, body beneath a blanket. He points to one of the three people standing along the side of the bed, Ponytail, Cueball, and a kid with spiky hair.] Old man: And to you... Old man: I leave the 30-foot Foucault Pendulum from the main hall. Old man: It has been swinging for fifty years. As long as you remember me, you must never let it stop!
[Caption below the panel:] A fun prank: as you're dying, leave people gifts that will be as difficult as possible to put into storage.


Memorable Quotes

Explanation:
This comic "helpfully" provides random quotes to be used by anyone as blurbs , online reviews, motivational quotes or similar short bits of text. Either the webcomic xkcd or its creator Randall Munroe may be quoted when using any of the provided lines, as stated at the top of the comic.
In particular, their "usefulness" lies in the fact that almost any of them are equally applicable to almost any situation. This is achieved by making each quote not really about anything in particular, aside from the fact that they are quotes. This is in contrast to typical quotes, which are never quite this aware that they will be quoted, but this is to be expected when the lines here were made solely for being quoted.
These self-aware quotes are, on a meta level, jokes about quotations generally. Most of Randall's quotes either sabotage the quoting work, reference some aspect of quotes as used in practice, or both---and it can be both when the aspects referenced are about twisting people's words to look like they agree with you.
The title-text does not have an ending quote mark, so "- Randall Munroe" is part of the quote, and possibly everything in xkcd after that until the next ending quote. Note that the next quote mark in xkcd is in 1946: Hawaii .
Looking for a quote for something? Here are some for general use.
They can be attributed to xkcd or Randall Munroe as needed.
"I disagree strongly with whatever work this quote is attached to." "This quote was taken out of context." "This quote is often falsely attributed to Mark Twain." "I'm being quoted to introduce something, but I have no idea what it is and certainly don't endorse it." "This quote is very memorable." "I wrote this book, and the person quoting me here is taking credit for it." "This entire thing is the quote, not just the part in quote marks." [quote marks, brackets, and editor's note are all in the original. -ED.] "Websites that collect quotes are full of mistakes and never check original sources." "This quote will be the only part of this presentation you remember." "Oooh, look at me, I looked up a quote!" "If you're doing a text search in this document for the word 'butts,' the good news is that it's here, but the bad news is that it only appears in this unrelated quote." "Wait, what if these quote marks are inside out, so everything in the rest of the document is the quotation and this part isn't? Duuuuude." "The editors of Bartlett's Familiar Quotations are a bunch of cowards who don't have the guts to print this." "This quote only looks profound when it's in a script font over a sunset." "I don't do a lot of public speaking, so I looked up a memorable quote to start my speech, and this is what I found. OK, you're staring at me blankly, but this whole thing is a quote. I know that sounds confusing, but... You know what, never mind!" "Sent from my iPhone."


Universal Dreams

Explanation:
The first and second panel are a discussion between Megan and Ponytail about dreams . Megan mentions a dream or nightmare about failing to prepare for an exam, despite not being a student for years. This is similar to the dream depicted in 557: Students . Ponytail responds that certain dreams occur with surprising frequency among many people, dubbing them "Universal Dreams" (which is the title of the comic). Universal dreams are dreams that are weirdly common, as also abused in 719: Brain Worms .
In the third panel, Black Hat describes an avatar of misfortune in the form of a horse appearing on a hill. This could be a play on the word nightmare . A mare was originally a demon or goblin that gave bad dreams. The modern word mare , meaning female horse, has a different origin, but still serves handily as a homophonic pun .
Alternatively, this may be a reference to the 2007 film Michael Clayton , which features a dreamlike sequence where the title character recognizes a scene of three horses on a hilltop from an illustration in a book. He stops his car, gets out and approaches the horses, just minutes before his car explodes. This marks a major turning point in the direction Clayton takes for the rest of the film, similar to how Black Hat says "[the horses] mean the dream is about to turn bad."
In the last panel, Black Hat describes having dreams where he receives specific information about the real world, which seems closer to prophesying or precognition than what would be considered a normal dream, as normal dreams do not tell the future. [ citation needed ] This may be a reference to the 2009 film Knowing , in which a child hears voices telling her the date, time, latitude, and longitude of major disasters (including earthquakes) that will occur 50 years in the future. This could also be a reference to comic 240 .
In the title text, either Megan or Ponytail is responding to Black Hat when she unexpectedly interrupts herself with the first part of geographic coordinates (Latitude 35), just as Black Hat described, implying that the whole comic might be another of Black Hat's dreams. 35 degrees North would include 31 major cities around the world, including 11 in Japan and 8 in the USA (including California, a seismically active region); the only major city within 35 degrees South is Canberra, Australia. This would suggest that an earthquake would happen soon in one of those major cities. The remainder of the coordinates are most likely cut off to add uncertainty to the situation.
[Megan, Ponytail, and Black Hat are standing around.] Megan: I've been out of school for years, but I still get those dreams where I have an exam and I didn't prepare.
[Ponytail shrugs.] Ponytail: I think that's one of those weird universal dreams— like forgetting your clothes or discovering rooms in your house you didn't know about.
[Zoom-in on Black Hat.] Black Hat: Yeah! Or when you're having a normal dream, but then a horse appears on a distant hilltop, and it means that the dream is about to turn bad! Ponytail or Megan (off-screen): I... What? Black Hat: I have that one like every night.
[Megan and Ponytail look at Black Hat.] Black Hat: Or those ones where you're talking to someone, and they start repeating a latitude and longitude over and over, and then you wake up that morning and there's an earthquake there. Black Hat: Haha, dreams, right? So weird!
Dreaming of latitude and longitude was also a topic of 240: Dream Girl , but in contrast to this comic, the events in that dream did not come true within the comic. (However, a real-life meetup of xkcd fans occurred at the location and date mentioned within the comic.)


The End of the Rainbow

Explanation:
Megan appears to reference the myth that at the end of every rainbow lies a leprechaun 's pot of gold. Instead of claiming that leprechauns and their gold don't exist, Cueball offers the refutation that, technically, rainbows are circles , so they do not have an end. This is true for an idealised rainbow, and for some actual rainbows: if the viewer has an unobstructed view of the light-reflecting substance creating the effect for the whole of the circle's circumference, they could see a full circle. In practice, the circle is often broken by the horizon or, for example, discontinuity in cloud cover.
However, Megan counters that if one considers the path that light takes to form a rainbow, then it forms a two-cone structure, where the Sun (the vertex of the outer cone) emits light rays that move towards the Earth (forming the faces of the outer cone), then reflect off water droplets located at just the right angle (the circular base) to reach our eyes (the vertex of the inner cone). Thus, such a rainbow structure can be said to have "ends", represented by the vertices of the two cones: one at the eye of the viewer, and another at the light source (usually the sun).
A common rainbow (which base is formed by a water droplets in the Earth's atmosphere) can not be viewed as that. The Sun's diameter is orders of magnitude greater than Earth's one (even including the outer layers of the atmosphere), and we would expect the apex of a cone to be much smaller than its base. Thus a two-cone rainbow which starts in Sun shall have its base formed in the outer space.
Megan then says that the Sun is indeed a pot of gold. The Sun is approximately 1.989 × 10 30 (1 nonillion 989 octillion) kilograms , and its abundance of gold is approximately 0.3 parts per trillion (ed: this value is incorrect - values in the paper are not in ppt - see comments below). Based on these numbers, the sun contains 5.967 × 10 17 (596 quadrillion 700 trillion) kilograms of gold. This equates to 5.967 × 10 14 (596 trillion 700 billion) metric tons of gold. As such, Megan's statement that the sun contains "quintillions of tons of gold" is off by a factor of roughly 4000, but the amount of gold within the sun is, nonetheless, far more than a pot's worth. [ citation needed ]
The amount of water in the oceans is about 1.35 × 10 18 (1 quintillion 350 quadrillion) metric tons . If we assume that Megan is still talking in terms of mass rather than volume or molecule count, then her next statement (that there is more gold in the sun than water in the oceans) would have been true had she been correct in her previous claim, but in fact there is more sea-water than sun-gold by a factor of roughly 2300.
Cueball then asks about leprechauns (perhaps ironically, since Megan's theory at this point appears to involve astronomy/physics, not mythical creatures/beings). Megan replies that the leprechauns all died when the Sun formed, building on the irony of Cueball's question (& opening questions about the role of leprechauns in the early formation of our solar system).
The title text suggests that, since the pot of gold exists as an idea in the brains of people thinking about it, and the retina is the foremost part of the brain for light perception, it can be argued that, in addition to existing in the sun as the comic explains, the gold (and leprechauns) also exist at the perceiver's end of the cone, as long as they are thinking about a pot of gold at the time (and then it's gone as soon as they stop thinking about it). Many neurologists would agree with the concept that ideas in your mind can be said to be physically located in your brain. However, this seems to go further, and suggest an idealist ontological position, that things, in this case a pot of gold, exist by virtue of our having an idea of them.
[Megan and Cueball are walking.] Megan: There's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Cueball: Rainbows are circles. They have no end. Megan: Not quite!
[In a borderless panel, a multi-part graphic is shown depicting what Megan is describing off-panel: a short cone inside a longer cone, with the longer cone having its point starting at the Sun, the shorter cone having its point at a miniature Cueball's head, and both cones sharing the same circular base. The diagram is repeated from 3 different perspectives to make the structure easier to grasp.] Megan (off-panel): A rainbow is light leaving the Sun, bouncing off the clouds, and converging on your eye. It's an inside-out two-ended cone.
[Megan and Cueball are still walking.] Megan: One end of that cone is your retina.
[A wider view of the same scene, with Megan and Cueball walking on a dark ground.] Megan: The other end is the Sun—which contains quintillions of tons of gold. There's more gold in the Sun than water in the oceans. Cueball: So there is a pot of gold! Cueball: What about leprechauns? Megan: All incinerated as the sun formed. Very sad.
As of January 19, 2017, the value of gold is 42,692.98 USD per kilogram. Based on this, all of the gold in the sun is worth 2.5474901 × 10^22 (25 sextillion 474 quintillion 901 quadrillion) USD. Of course, if you tried to sell the gold in the sun, the market would be saturated and the value of gold would plummet astronomically. You would never be able to cash out.
The idea that the Sun is valuable in monetary terms is also present in 1622: Henge .


Scientific Paper Graph Quality

Explanation:
Microsoft Paint was first introduced in 1985 as a component of Windows 1.0 , and Microsoft PowerPoint debuted in 1990. As easy-to-use tools, these allowed for the easy creation of graphs by computer users. The comic implies that these are responsible for decreasing the overall quality of graphs in scientific papers, presumably by enabling a large number of inexperienced designers, and encouraging certain kinds of designs that are ineffective for communicating scientific results.
Critics of PowerPoint , such as Edward Tufte , have argued that the software is ill-suited for reporting scientific analyses. Many scientific journals nowadays explicitly forbid the use of PowerPoint in their instructions for authors. It can be argued that other software specifically built for this task - and techniques to do so - have been refined over time, leading to a rise in graph quality outside the PowerPoint/MSPaint era (though see discussion).
The title text states that among the bad quality graphs, the ones “with qualitative, vaguely-labeled axes and very little actual data” are the worst. While this may indicate that the problem with PowerPoint era graphs is that they seem to focus on getting the point across (qualitative as in “you get the idea”) over accuracy (little actual data), this is more hypocritical humor on Randall's part, as the comic itself features exactly that sort of lambasted graph. The vertical axis labeled “good” and “bad” is entirely qualitative, the horizontal axis manages to use numbers and still be vague by labeling the area between the ticks as decades instead of labeling the ticks, the definition of what constitutes the ‘PowerPoint / MSPaint era’ is entirely unclear, and it is doubtful that any actual data was used to make the graph – certainly there are no actual data points indicated. Its quality is doubtful, and it might represent more of an impression, or opinion, than an actual fact.
[Heading on top of the graph:]
General quality of charts and graphs in scientific papers
[A graph is shown with the y-axis on the origin labeled "bad", on the arrowhead labeled "good", and the x-axis being a timeline labeled with decades from 1950s to 2010s.]
[The pre-1993 and post-2015 parts are white, with increasing quality before 1990 and after 2015. The 1993-2015 part indicates bad quality and is highlighted in grey, labeled "PowerPoint/MSPaint era".]