Bad Timing

Explanation:
Cueball breaks up with Megan in the middle of a hot air balloon ride. Then the red spiders attack .
The red spiders are among the earliest xkcd characters , first appearing in 8: Red spiders .
As the protip in the title text states, a break-up conversation while you are stranded in an inaccessible location is very poor manners. Also, the suggestion may be interpreted that breaking up in a hot air balloon is a very dangerous way to do it; the reaction may result in one or both parties falling out of the basket, or at least make the remainder of the flight very awkward.
This was the first comic to give a protip in the title text, but several have followed, as can be seen in the protip category .
The full series of Red Spiders comics:
[Cueball and Megan, flying in a hot air balloon that takes up most of the panel.] Cueball: I like you. I'm just not feeling the relationship.
[The hot air balloon is now further away, and a rough sketch of the ground below is shown.] Cueball: I'm sorry.
[Only the basket of the hot air balloon is shown, with the rest being cut off by the edge of the panel.] Cueball: It's just bad timing. Me with my classes, you with your work, the spiders... Megan: The what?
[Red Spiders crowd onto the balloon, causing it to begin to fall. Cueball and Megan look panicked.]


Starwatching

Explanation:
Megan and Cueball are stargazing . In the first two panels, Cueball references a scene in the movie The Lion King , where the protagonist, Simba , remembers how his father, Mufasa , explained the night sky by saying, "The great kings of the past are up there." The quote in last panel is derived from a scene near the climax of the movie, where the spirit of Mufasa appears to Simba in the clouds and speaks to him.
Cory Doctorow is a famous blogger who features in several of Randall 's comics . A tag cloud is a list of keywords on the sidebar of a blog's layout that helps a reader find posts by hyperlinking to posts associated with that keyword or category. Tags are shown in a proportionally larger typeface if that tag describes more posts than other tags.
Megan interrupts Cueball by saying that she can't decide if Cueball needs to "get out more or less." If she were to say "get out more," she would be implying that he needs to spend time away from the computer so he stops seeing links between the real world and Cory Doctorow. If she says "get out less," she implies that he might scare normal people if he were to do what he does in front of them, or perhaps become more "normal" if he were to stop going outside and not do what he is doing now.
In the title text, Randall mentions that he feels that the word blog , a portmanteau and an Elision of "web log," sounds silly, and has not become any less silly over the years, despite entering common usage.
[Cueball and Megan are lying on the ground stargazing.] Cueball: Just look at those stars.
Cueball: My father once told me that the great bloggers of the past are up there, watching over us.
[Cueball sits up, and then stands up, stretching his arms in the air as if to encompass the whole night sky.] Cueball: High above the blogosphere, a gap opens in the tag clouds. Cory Doctorow's voice booms forth... Megan: You need to get out either more or less . I can't decide.


Fantasy

Explanation:
Cueball is fantasizing about being together with Megan , a girl he really wishes to be with, but he has so far not found any way to make this happen. However, in his fantasy, the imaginary versions of himself and Megan quickly realize how impossible their relationship would be. First of all, neither of them can remember why they are together (a typical trait of dreams, that you are suddenly in some situation but cannot remember what went before). Also, Megan seems to find it very difficult to imagine them being together. Although the reasons are left unstated, it is clear that it is actually Cueball who cannot himself imagine a situation that would make Megan want to be with him, and he projects this into the thoughts of his fantasy version of Megan. He himself mentions the word fantasy, which makes her realize that they are objects in a fantasy (or dream) that will soon end, and then so will they.
Then she decides to destroy the fantasy world they are in instead of going quietly, as she would have once this fantasy ended. She goes for burning it to the ground, and the fantasy Cueball is with her, since he has also realized that he will lose her when this fantasy ends. Rather than allow Cueball's idle daydream to end romantically, they run rampant and bring his fantasy crashing to a halt.
This leaves the real Cueball confused. But in the title text, Cueball realizes that he would only appreciate a girl who refused such an irrational reality, thus the fantasy is consistent with both of their personalities.
Another "thought bubble comic" can be seen in 248: Hypotheticals .
[Cueball sits hugging his knees. From his head, there go three bubbles to a thought bubble.] Cueball: If only there were some way we could be together.
[The comic fades into a thought bubble in shaded gray color. The bubble contains the next four panels.]
[The thought ends with three bubbles going down to Cueball, who is now standing and scratching his head. Again, the comic is back to the normal black drawing style.] Cueball: ??


Every Damn Morning

Explanation:
Cueball has had a wondrous and striking dream, but is unable to recount it to Megan , as he has forgotten it. The title of the strip suggest that this is a regular occurrence: he wakes up with vivid memories of elaborate and fascinating dreamscapes, but is unable to tell anyone about it, because the memories fade so quickly, he's lost almost everything before he gets the chance.
The title text is a reference to C.S. Lewis's novel The Voyage of the Dawn Treader , in which Lucy Pevensie reads a story that “refreshes her spirit” – “That is the loveliest story I’ve ever read or ever shall read in my whole life. Oh, I wish I could have gone on reading it for ten years.” – but afterwards can only remember that it had something to do with "a cup and a sword and a tree and a green hill."
An effort to remember dreams was made in 269: TCMP .
[In the background, a vivid dream scene is apparent, including mountains, a city with a mushroom cloud, a zeppelin where one person has knocked another off, another person climbing on or off the blimp on a rope, another blimp anchoring to a city in the background, one Cueball and Megan holding hands, one Cueball looking at the person on the rope, one Cueball and Megan sword fighting over a cup of spilled liquid, another set looking at a laptop, another set hugging, another set sliding down a separate rope from the blimp and a last set falling. In the far right there is a third blimp flying over a mountain range. All in all, this seems very much like an apocalypse and not something one would forget easily. In the inset, Cueball awakens, very surprised.] Cueball: !!!
[Dream's edges are fading, mountains, city, and zeppelin less clear. In the inset, Cueball is seen running down stairs.]
[Zeppelin, city, and mountains are very hazy and unclear. The people can still be seen. In the inset, Cueball gets the attention of Megan, who is sitting at a breakfast table.]
[The dream has completely faded, only the outlines of three people can still be seen. In the inset, Cueball looks confused.]


Delivery

Explanation:
It is an old superstition that a groundhog (a type of rodent akin to a large squirrel) can predict the seasonal change from winter to spring in early February.  A groundhog that sees his shadow and retreats back in his home predicts another six weeks of winter, while a groundhog that does not see its shadow predicts an early spring.  This event is celebrated in a small town in western Pennsylvania, where Punxsutawney Phil serves as the forecaster in an annual ceremony on February 2.  This, in turn, becomes the basis for the comedy movie Groundhog Day , which is also referenced in 1076: Groundhog Day .
The joke here is that, instead of a groundhog predicting when spring will come, the baby is predicting the change in season. Evidently, he predicts that we will have six more weeks of winter.
The title text indicates that the doctor was joking about the baby retreating back inside. He then makes a pun that results in an assault by the mother. The word delivery can mean the act of giving birth or the presentation of a joke. He then indicates that the baby is fine.
[In a delivery room.] Doctor: There's the head... he's looking at me... Wait, he's crawling back into the womb. Megan: What?! Doctor: Yeah, it's the darnedest thing. Megan: Um, what does it mean? Doctor: My guess? Six more weeks of winter.


Journal 4

Explanation:
In Journal 1, Black Hat explains to Cueball that a hobby of his is to pretend to write in a journal while on the subway, acting embarrassed if anyone sees. He then proceeds to silently scorn the person once they give him any kind of reassurance.
In Journal 2, however, Danish sees through his ruse. She counteracts it by proving that she understands him, and attempts to resign him to the fact that he will never see her again, thus robbing him of the satisfaction of a proper social connection. She leaves, taking his hat in the process. Initially stunned, in Journal 3 he at last regained his hat, the trademark of his personality and attitude, leaving him with the upper hand.
Now, Black Hat has found himself to be in love with Danish, even though this goes against his whole worldview. As stated in the title text, he somehow believed that he was immune to such feelings. What is he to do?
The title text indicates that Black Hat had previously believed that his hat signified, or even caused, immunity from sadness or angst. The meaning of Black Hat's hat is not specified, but it is clearly something important to him. More evidence of the hat's portentous meaning can be seen in 455: Hats .
The whole " Journal " story is:
[Black Hat sits slumped over on a bench, holding his hat in one hand, displaying his thin hair, while resting his head on his other arm.] Black Hat: S i GH


Journal 5

Explanation:
In Journal , Black Hat explains to Cueball that a hobby of his is to pretend to write in a journal while on the subway, acting embarrassed if anyone sees. He then proceeds to silently scorn the person once they give him any kind of reassurance.
In Journal 2 , however, Danish sees through his ruse. She counteracts it by proving that she understands him, and attempts to resign him to the fact that he will never see her again, thus robbing him of the satisfaction of a proper social connection. She leaves, taking his hat in the process.
Initially stunned, he at last regained his hat in Journal 3 , the trademark of his personality and attitude, leaving him with the upper hand.
(In 412: Startled he's shown more easily startled than usual, possibly due to Danish setting him on edge and cracking his façade.)
In Journal 4 , however, he is overcome with emotions, to the extent that he has even taken his black hat off while sitting head in hand on a bench, wondering in the title text why he would feel any emotions when he has a hat.
Now, in Journal 5, Black Hat parks his car and soon finds himself on the doorstep of Danish's house. He comes to tell her that he gives up and that she wins, because he just has to know who she is. This is very uncharacteristic of Black Hat. He then tries to tell her that he thinks they understand each other's personalities and that this means something to him. He is obviously smitten with her on some level. But all she does about this initially is use her remote control to set off the mines she installed in the driveway where Black Hat's car is parked.
But, even in his state of love, Black Hat had spotted these mines and moved them to her garage. So when Danish sets them off, she destroys her own garage (and possibly her car) instead of Black Hat's car. When he tells her about moving them, she is impressed and acknowledges this by saying Touché . Maybe this is when she also begins to respect him in her own weird manner.
Black Hat can foresee that it will be a tricky relationship with their mean personalities crashing together, but when Danish gives him the option to go find a non-crazy girl , he promptly states that this doesn't interest him at all.
In the title text, it seems that neither of them is deterred by this obstacle, and their relationship begins when Black Hat tells her that he will pick her up at eight, although she does ask for one more hour, so she can re-mine the driveway before he comes back at nine. This did not seem to harm their future relationship, as in most of the later comics with Danish she is mainly shown together with Black Hat, sometimes even in a clearly romantic setting, like in 515: No One Must Know , from where she got her name.
The whole " Journal " story is:
[Black Hat parks his car.] PARK
[Black Hat knocks at door.] KNOCK KNOCK
Black Hat: Hi. Danish: Hi.
Black Hat: I give up. You win. I have to know who you are.
Black Hat: We understand each other. I can't let that slip away— beep [from device in Danish's hand.] BOOM
Black Hat: What was that?! Danish: Remote mines under your car.
Black Hat: Oh, those? I moved them to your garage before knocking. Danish: Touché.
Black Hat: ...This relationship is going to be tricky. Danish: There's still time to leave and find a non-crazy girl. Black Hat: Not even slightly interested.


xkcd Goes to the Airport

Explanation:
The various characters of xkcd cause problems at the airport due to their various quirks.
The title text continues off the final panel, saying that there are less than three ounces of blood in a churchmouse, but it "stains panties," an undesirable scenario. However, this undesirable scenario is paralleled by the implied undesirable scenario of a terrorist attack due to explosive liquids, the possibility of which caused the law. The title text seems to parody the prospect of an explosion with the relatively insignificant staining of panties, a term for women's underwear. This may also be a menstruation joke.
[Standing outside the Airport. There is a sign saying "Airport" and a plane in the background.] Megan: Okay, what airline? Beret Guy: I'm following you. Megan: ...I'm following you . Beret Guy: I assumed we were walking to the bakery. Megan: You always assume that!
[Presumably the security checkpoint. The Security guy is digging through Cueball's bags.] Security guy: Lockpicks? These are... illegal, actually. Where did you get them? Cueball: Oh man, it all started with this hacker girl. Security guy: You need to come with- Cueball: Sure, sure. But man, let me tell you about her!
[On a plane. Cueball is on a laptop.] Announcement: If your device has a "Transmit" function, please disable it. Cueball: Okay - hang on, I'm halfway through the iwconfig man page.
[Security checkpoint. Security guy is examining a vial of dark liquid.] Security guy: Sir, is this container under three ounces? Black Hat: Not sure, how much blood is there in a churchmouse? Security guy: . . .Why don't you just go.


Purity

Explanation:
Mathematics is the abstract study of topics encompassing quantity, structure, space, change, and others. Physics is a natural science that involves the study of matter-energy and its motion through space and time, along with related concepts such as forces. Physics is described using mathematics. Chemistry is the science of matter, especially its chemical reactions, but also its composition, structure, and properties. As chemical reactions are governed by physical laws (electromagnetism being particularly important), one could say that chemists are studying a subset of physics. Biology is the the study of life and living organisms, including their structure, function, growth, origin, evolution, distribution, and taxonomy. As biological life is the result of a large number of complex chemical reactions, one could say that it is studying a subset of chemistry. Psychology is the study of mental functions and behaviors, why thinking beings do what they do.  As thought is (currently) a capability exclusive to living things, one could say that it is a subset of biology . Sociology is the study of society, or the study of groups of people and their interactions.  Since a group of people is composed of many individuals, one could say that it is an application of psychology.  Of course, one could also say that the fields are all independent, as deriving one from another would require not only good, but perfect understanding of the more fundamental field.
Mathematics has two classifications: pure mathematics (mathematics for its own sake, without any real-world interpretation) and applied mathematics (mathematics intended to solve real-world problems). It is not uncommon for scientists to formulate a problem that can be reduced to a problem already solved by pure mathematicians. Taking this to its logical extreme, the comic arranges the six scientific fields according to the Hierarchy of the sciences , represented by a person on a chart of purity, saying that a field is 'more pure' than the fields depending on it. This is a topic often used in jokes between scientists of various fields as to who is more important. The physicist, Cueball , feels that he is at the top, that all other fields are based upon his... but is ultimately upstaged by the mathematician, Blondie , whose field is so pure that its relationship to more applied fields can be distant or nonexistent. Unlike the others, however, the mathematician notably does not claim that physics is merely applied mathematics, because that claim would be categorically untrue. While physics makes extensive use of applied mathematical methods, physics (and, by extension, all the other sciences) are based on the analysis of experimental data collected about the universe—data which mathematics does not and cannot on its own provide.
The title text indicates that physicists like to repeat the following quote attributed to Richard Feynman: “Physics is to math what sex is to masturbation.”
This ties the title of the comic, "Purity," to tie between various fields, to the topic of sex, as measured by the Purity Test .
[Six characters are standing on a line with small ticks under each person. Above the two persons most central in the comic is an arrow pointing right. There are labels both above and below the arrow. Beneath each tick is a label. All the labels are listed here in order.] Fields arranged by purity More pure
Sociologists Psychologists Biologists Chemists Physicists Mathematicians
[Above each of the six ticks, there is a person. The last person to the right is the mathematician. She stands at the far right edge of the comic, with much farther distance between her and the second to last person going right. The first four spaces between the first five people are of equal distance. Except for the least pure sociologist, they all say something addressed to the less pure person(s) on their left. The first mute person above the Sociologists tick is Megan. The second person above the Psychologists tick is a bald man with glasses and a goatee beard holding a book under one arm. The third person above the Biologists tick is a Cueball-like guy with a squirming octopus in his hand. The fourth person above the Chemists tick is Ponytail holding up a test tube with bubbles coming out of the top. The fifth person above the Physicists tick is Cueball standing with his hands in his sides. Farthest out, the sixth and final person above the Mathematicians tick is Blondie. She waves to the other five.]
Psychologist: Sociology is just applied psychology.
Biologist: Psychology is just applied biology.
Chemist: Biology is just applied chemistry
Physicist: Which is just applied physics. It's nice to be on top.
Mathematician: Oh, hey, I didn't see you guys all the way over there.


How it Happened

Explanation:
The phrase " That's what she said! " is commonly used after someone has described something that sounds sexual but had no intentional sexual meaning. An example might be:
"It's huge!" (Describing an overly large object like a large tree) "That's what she said!" (Implying that "she" had said the same thing about genitalia)
However, in this comic, the first guy is actually describing what his girlfriend whispered to him on the day she leaves him. She is still looking to have sex with him one last time before they go live their lives. It is a very personal moment that he decided to share with his friend. But his friend then responds with a that's what she said .
The first friend derails the other's attempt at a joke by pointing out that that was what she literally said. This is exactly the same as Megan's reaction to a "that's what she said" in 366: Your Mom .
The friend is simply frozen in his uncomfortable position, by the awkward moment, while the first guy just stares at him.
In the title text, the first guy continues to make the situation more awkward for his friend by pointing out that he was there, so there is no need to tell him what she said.
"That's what she said!" jokes had been mocked previously in comic 174: That's What SHE Said .
[Cueball and his friend standing.] Cueball: Then she put her hands over mine, grinds against me, leans down and whispers, "After tonight, we go and live our lives, no regrets. But I want this, I want you, one last time."
Friend: (Giving a thumbs up, pointing, surrounded by action lines) That's what SHE said!
[Both continue to stand.] Cueball: Yes. Yes, it is.
[Both continue to stand.]


SUV

Explanation:
This comic is one of a series of My Hobby comics. Here Randall describes a "hobby" of confusing self-righteous hybrid car drivers by creating situational irony.
There are many anecdotal instances of drivers of "green" vehicles both criticizing owners of less fuel-efficient vehicles (such as SUVs) and for taunting them about how much more they are paying for fuel. Randall is reversing this by taunting/criticizing the owner of a Prius hybrid vehicle as though their roles were reversed. The owner of the hybrid car is irritated and does not understand what is being said.
Alternatively, in the second sentence, Randall could be talking about the fact that the other person has a hybrid vehicle instead of a full electric vehicle, although Randall's SUV wouldn't be any better in that case.
Yet another possibility is that "go green" refers to using public transportation or walking (or biking, skateboarding, and so on) in which case there is an argument to be made that the Cueball with the SUV might be better due to taking mass transit more. Or, as the title text alludes to, electric skateboards.
The title text, rather than being a joke or additional punchline, seems to be a serious opinion about how much more efficient electric vehicles are compared to gas-powered vehicles; they would be a far superior form of transportation if only they weren't so expensive. But an electric skateboard can only move a fraction of mass comparing to an SUV.
My Hobby: Renting an SUV and confusing the hell out of hybrid owners [A Prius Driver is pumping gas into his car at a gas station. The prices can be seen in the background, and read:] $4.08 M: $4.38 P: $4.51 D: $4.85 [Cueball drives up alongside in an SUV and leans out the window.] Cueball: Check out those prices! Your Prius ain't looking so smart now , huh? Prius Driver: It's ... wait, what? Cueball: Maybe you'll go green next time, asshole!


Internet Argument

Explanation:
This effect is similar to what happens when people drive a car: they're more likely to get exasperated or angry at other drivers than they do when not driving.
In the first two panels, Cueball is exchanging some possibly profane insults with the other Cueball . Megan takes hold of Cueball and flies him to the other one, so they see each other face to face. In this situation, each remains silent as neither has anything to say to the other.
When Megan returns Cueball to his original computer, they resume their communication, but without the insults.
The title text just summarizes the whole idea in a single sentence.
[Cueball is typing profanities into his computer.] [Friend is typing profanities into his computer.] [Megan floats in behind Cueball.] [Megan lifts Cueball.] [They are flying over mountains.] [Megan and Cueball are floating in front of the friend and his computer.] [She sets Cueball down in front of the friend and his computer.] [Megan lifts Cueball again.] [They are flying.] [Megan sets Cueball down in his chair at his computer.] [Cueball is typing at his computer.] [Friend is typing at his computer.]


Thinking Ahead

Explanation:
Cueball spots a woman while shopping. He thinks she looks cute - probably because she looks a lot like his girlfriend Megan . She is picking out produce, and quotes a line of dialogue from Firefly originally said by River Tam ( Summer Glau ): "My food is problematic." Cueball ( Randall ) who is a big fan of Firefly , notices this, and wants to flirt with her. But then Cueball's internal monologue kicks in and he starts panicking, wondering how he'd deal with starting a relationship with this woman when he's moving in the fall, as well as how things are going to work out with Megan, should things work out with this girl. He panics, needs a way out, and jumps out the window.
In real life, jumping out the window would be a very bad idea. See this for more details.
The title text refers to yet another Firefly line from the episode " The Train Job ," this one said by Hoban "Wash" Washburne ( Alan Tudyk ): "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"
[My Problem: Thinking Ahead.] Cueball: She's cute. Woman: This food is problematic. Cueball: Oh man, she's quoting Firefly. Cueball: It's the perfect opening. But wait. I'm moving in the fall. If we hit it off, how will I deal with that? Cueball: I don't want to ask her to derail her plans. And with things unresolved with Megan, can I really commit enough to make that kind of decision? Cueball: Oh God. Cueball: Gotta get out. Cueball: The window. [Cueball jumping through a window] CRASH


Road Rage

Explanation:
Black Hat is driving a car, and Danish is with him in the passenger's seat. Black Hat gets annoyed because the car behind him is " tailgating " (in this context, the term means that the other car is following too close to the back bumper of Black Hat's car).
Danish decides to fight back, so she turns on her laptop and finds that the car behind them also has a laptop running. Since the cars are so close, the other laptop is well within WiFi range, so she manages to establish a WiFi connection with the laptop in the other car. Then, Danish finds a security hole (in the comic, a "remote exploit"). She uses it to break into the laptop and install a speech synthesizer.
This means that the laptop in the car behind just starts saying words at Danish's will.
The driver of the other car is puzzled when he starts hearing a voice. He's completely clueless about where the voice comes from. Also, he's driving alone, so he's probably frightened (or nervous at least) to find that someone is speaking inside his car. The fact that the voice says "she'd be alive if it weren't for you" surely won't help him relax. The "shot in the dark" is the gamble that this statement is especially meaningful and poignant to the driver. As the driver is prone to tailgating, it seems likely that he could have caused a car accident—possibly a fatal one—in the past.
In the title text, Danish is continuing her revenge, asking Black Hat to slam on the brakes. Hitting the brakes is a common (though highly unsafe) way to get revenge on tailgaters. At minimum, it forces them to abruptly decelerate and hopefully frighten them, but the danger is that they don't have room to stop in time and cause a collision. The joke is that, having already achieved a complicated and psychologically painful form of revenge, Danish wants to follow it up with a much more conventional form, at the worst possible time. Since the blame for such types of accident is always given to the driver of the car behind, and since we know Black Hat is a sadistic bastard, Black Hat will no doubt enjoy adding both the blame and the traffic accident on top of what Danish has already accomplished. This may seem ironic, as Black Hat and Danish would be risking having their own car struck, but they would no doubt rather make an example than avoid the accident.
[Black Hat is driving, and Danish, who seems to be his equal, is in the passenger's seat. They are closely followed by some other vehicle.] Black Hat: That guy's tailgating me. Danish: I'll take a look.
[A car is shown to be closely behind Black Hat's car.] Danish: His laptop's running, probably in the back seat. And... yup, the WiFi autoconnects.
[Close-up of Danish using a laptop.] Danish: Now we just scan for remote exploits... install speech synth... And take a shot in the psychological dark.
[Cueball's car.] Laptop: Hello. Cueball: What? Who's there? Laptop: She'd be alive if it weren't for you. Cueball: ...Oh God.
This may be a continuation of 433: Journal 5 , with Black Hat taking Danish to the "date" that was mentioned.


Babies

Explanation:
A common theme of xkcd is that one never feels that one has "transitioned to adulthood," in the sense of actually attaining the seriousness and sense of responsibility that children imagine all adults to possess. Here, the author illustrates this by imagining Cueball and Megan taking on the ultimate "adult responsibility" — having a child, treating it as they would any other engineering project. Disassembling a project to check the parts is an activity that is appropriate for a self-built computer or robot, but most people would think that disassembling a child would be impractical. Also, unless they've taken Dr. Frankenstein's course on reassembling and reanimating human beings, this would result in a grisly end for the baby [ citation needed ] . Megan also shows her lack of child experience by holding the baby upside-down by the foot, which isn't a good idea. Her behavior could also indicate that Megan is treating the child as an object rather than a human being.
The title text implies that Randall will have kids someday. It will be surprising if they read this comic, not just because it will give them an unflattering look into their father's attitudes on having children, but because he plans to lock them in the cellar where there will be no internet access. This is possibly a reference to Kaspar Hauser , who, as a boy, claimed to have grown up in a dark cell in Germany in the 19th century, or to the incestuous children of Josef Fritzl .
This is also the topic of 674: Natural Parenting and 1384: Krypton .
Much later, a comic with the singular version of this title was released: 1650: Baby . Here, Cueball refrains from saying something as stupid as he does here about another couple's baby. The couple looks similar to the one in this comic, though that may just be due to the basic-looking art style of xkcd.
It doesn't seem right that we're old enough to have kids. [Megan holds a baby upside-down by one leg.] Megan: Sweet! We made a baby! Cueball: Are we sure we did it right? Cueball: We should disassemble it, check all the parts, and put it back together.


xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel

Explanation:
This comic is a parody of the Discovery Channel commercial showing various clips of people singing a song with the chorus line 'Boom De Yada' . The comic is divided into a grid of 4 panels by 6 panels, most depicting a character or situation from a previous xkcd strip. In each panel is written a part of a song similar to the song from the Discovery Channel commercial.
The campaign from the Discovery Channel was not called "Boom De Yada," but " I Love the World ." The title "xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel" is in reference to this.
Most of the panels are references to previous xkcd strips, but a few are not.
Panel 1 I love momentum. A reference to comic 162: Angular Momentum , where Megan spins in a circle to "rob the planet of angular momentum." Panel 2 I love to engineer. A reference to comic 413: New Pet , where Megan and Cueball turn an EEE PC into a household pet. Panel 3 I love this bakery! A reference to comic 434: xkcd Goes to the Airport , where Beret Guy shows his liking for bakeries in first panel. His love of bakeries is a recurring gag in the comic. Panel 4 I love the blogosphere! A reference to comic 239: Blagofaire , where someone from the far future believes that many people blogged from high-altitude balloons whilst wearing red capes and goggles. The flying character may be Cory Doctorow , who is mentioned in the comic as the only blogger to actually do this, and who also appeared in comic 345: 1337: Part 5 in this guise. Panel 5 I love the whole world. (Cueball running in a large hamster ball.) Likely a reference to comic 152: Hamster Ball , though there are multiple comics featuring human-sized hamster balls . Panel 6 And all its messed-up folks. A reference to the /b/ ("Random") forum on 4chan , which is in fact home to plenty of "messed-up folks." This on-line behavior is something Randall comments on in several comics both before and after this. For instance in 202: YouTube . Panel 7 Boom de yada, Boom de yada (Cueball and Megan immersed in playpen balls.) A reference to comic 150: Grownups , where Megan decides that she has the ability to, and wants to, turn her house into a giant ball pit. Panel 8 Boom de yada, Boom de yada ( I put on my robe and wizard hat ) A reference to this roleplay chat transcript (NSFW), which became an Internet meme. A user named bloodninja would roleplay as a wizard during cybersex (saying "I put on my robe and wizard hat" to signal this) and invariably infuriate his unwitting partners with demeaning actions. Other incidents involved him roleplaying as a rhinoceros. In the above mentioned comic 150: Grownups , the two characters also disappear, but in that case a big pink heart comes out of the playpen balls. Panel 9 I love your suffering. The recurring character Black Hat is being his usual self and causing suffering for his own amusement, as in comic 72: Classhole . In this panel, he is seen giving a child a present, probably containing a bobcat as seen in comic 325: A-Minus-Minus Panel 10 I love cryptography. Cryptography is a subject that comes up often in the comic, notably, in comics 153: Cryptography and 177: Alice and Bob before this one (for a full list see Category:Cryptography ). The panel shows a flowchart of the kind commonly used to show how a particular cryptosystem works and/or how it can be broken. Panel 11 I love entangled sheets. Sexual reference. Sex and red sheets are also brought up in comic 230: Hamiltonian . Panel 12 And kite photography. A reference to Randall's own hobby of kite photography , as well as comic 235: Kite . Panel 13 I love the whole world (Map of the internet.) A reference to comic 256: Online Communities , featuring online communities of the time visualized as a world map, with geographic areas representing their approximate membership size. There is, more directly, a pun on "internet," namely "outernet." Panel 14 And all its mysteries. A reference to a series of comics on "red spiders": 8: Red Spiders , 43: Red Spiders 2 , 47: Counter-Red Spiders , 126: Red Spiders Cometh , and 427: Bad Timing . Panel 15 Boom de yada, Boom de yada (Two people sword-fighting on rolling office chairs.) A reference to comic 303: Compiling , where two coders battle with fake swords at work, with the excuse that their code is compiling. Panel 16 Boom de yada, Boom de yada (Classroom with two students and a teacher.) Nothing too special, but it does embrace the "everybody joins in" theme behind the commercials. The teacher is Miss Lenhart , who was first properly introduced in comic 263: Certainty , but may have made an appearance in comic 59: Graduation . Panel 17 I love elections ( Barack me Obamadeus! ) A pun on the song Rock Me Amadeus and US president Barack Obama . At this point, Randall had not done any comics directly on elections, but he made this after the one in 2008: 500: Election and has shown his love for this subject also around the 2012 election. Panel 18 I love transistors. This panel has Cueball's crotch replaced with the (similar-looking) icon used for a transistor in a circuit diagram . Randall later showed how much he loves anything that can go in to such a diagram in 730: Circuit Diagram . Panel 19 I love weird pillow talk. ( There must be Taft slash fiction. ) " Pillow talk " means intimate conversations between lovers, " slash fiction " is fanfiction with characters of the same sex, and "Taft" is William Howard Taft , a US President mostly remembered for his severe obesity. It appears that they are invoking rule 34 of the Internet as a reference to 305: Rule 34 . Weird pillow talk is also the subject of comic 69: Pillow Talk , while the Taft reference comes from comic 214: The Problem with Wikipedia . Panel 20 I love your sister. A reference to xkcd's recurring joke of dating the female character's sister, which spans several comics including 49: Want , 279: Pickup Lines , 317: That Lovin' Feelin' , and 408: Overqualified . Panel 21 I love the whole world (Roller coaster with Cueball holding a chess board) A reference to comic 249: Chess Photo , which inspired an internet meme. Panel 22 The future's pretty cool! (Beret Guy in a forest.) The picture of the forest is similar to that in 269: TCMP , though it may also be a reference to comic 167: Nihilism , where Cueball and Beret Guy make observations about the future while climbing a tree. Later, in comic 1322: Winter , the two are seen walking through a forest very similar to the one shown here. Panel 23 Boom de yada, Boom de yada (Megan doing the MC Hammer slide towards Cueball.) A reference to comic 108: M.C. Hammer Slide , where Hairy falls in love with "a girl whose only mode of transportation is the M.C. Hammer Slide." Panel 24 Boom de yada, Boom de yada (Cueball and Megan on an electric skateboard.) A reference to comic 409: Electric Skateboard (Double Comic) , where Megan and Cueball go on an electric skateboard ride, but he already introduced these back in 139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards .
The title text continues the song, self-referentially. Self-reference is a reoccurring theme in Douglas Hofstadter's books, notably Gödel, Escher, Bach , which Randall refers to directly in 24: Godel, Escher, Kurt Halsey . Later, Hofstadter has been referenced in other comics, such as in the title text of 555: Two Mirrors and 608: Form , plus, of course, in 917: Hofstadter . Self-reference as a form of humor was also explored before , but most famously in the later 688: Self-Description .
[The comic is in parody of the Discovery Channel commercial showing various clips of people singing a song with the chorus line "Boom De Yada."] [The comic is divided into a grid of 4 panels by 6 panels, each depicting a character or situation often from a previous xkcd strip.] [In each panel is written a part of a song similar to the song from the Discovery Channel commercial.]
Panel 1: [Megan spinning around.] I love momentum.
Panel 2: [Megan laying on floor tinkering with an EEE PC hamster ball robot.] I love to engineer.
Panel 3: [Beret Guy standing in bakery holding a loaf of bread in each hand, a sign with "PIE!" in background.] I love this bakery!
Panel 4: [Cory Doctorow in goggles and a red cape flying superman-style.] I love the blogosphere!
Panel 5: [Cueball running in a large hamster ball.] I love the whole world
Panel 6: [Depiction of internet sludge (4chan b-Random)] And all its messed-up folks.
Panel 7: [Cueball and Megan immersed in playpen balls.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada
Panel 8: [Mass of playpen balls with speech "I put on my robe and wizard hat" originating from it.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada
Panel 9: [Black Hat taking a present from a kid with a party hat.] I love your suffering.
Panel 10: [Diagram showing RSA fingerprint authentication between two people.] I love cryptography.
Panel 11: [Cueball and Megan in bed covered by a red sheet.] I love entangled sheets.
Panel 12: [Cueball hanging from a kite string holding a camera.] And kite photography.
Panel 13: [Map of the internet.] I love the whole world
Panel 14: [Cube with a red spider on top.] And all its mysteries.
Panel 15: [Two people sword-fighting on rolling office chairs.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada
Panel 16: [Classroom with two students and Miss Lenhart.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada
Panel 17: [Cueball saying "Barack me Obamadeus!" to another man speaking energetically at a podium.] I love elections.
Panel 18: [Cueball holding a schematic diagram of a transistor in front of his crotch.] I love transistors.
Panel 19: [Cueball and Megan in bed, Cueball saying "There must be taft slash fiction."] I love weird pillow talk.
Panel 20: [Cueball speaking to Megan.] I love your sister.
Panel 21: [Roller coaster with Cueball in the front car holding a chess board and thinking about a move.] I love the whole world.
Panel 22: [Beret Guy standing in the midst of leafless trees.] The future's pretty cool!
Panel 23: [Megan doing the MC Hammer slide towards Cueball.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada
Panel 24: [Cueball and Megan on an electric skateboard.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada


Know Your Vines

Explanation:
Randall points out that the Virginia creeper is a plant with 5 green leaves that can be used as a rope. He then points out that poison ivy is another vine-like plant with 3 green leaves that also grows near camping areas - but causes skin rashes. His girlfriend is into light bondage (being tied up or tying up another for erotic purposes), yet the area around their tent was too dark to differentiate between the two vines when they went looking for some impromptu rope.
The implication: Either Randall, his girlfriend, or both spent some time that night wrapped in poison ivy. The resulting painful rashes were likely blamed on the one who harvested the wrong plant, and the relationship suffered.
The title text refers to the fact that many modern tents are self-supporting and no longer require rope to put up. Had there been tent rope on hand, there would be no need to look for vines.
[Picture of a green, five-leafed plant:] Virginia creeper: Vines useful as impromptu rope
[Picture of a green, 3-leafed plant:] Poison ivy: Grows in same habitat as Virginia creeper
[A woman with long hair standing:] Girlfriend: Into light bondage
[A dark image of a tree, the top of which extends above the panel, with light green vines near the base of the tree trunk:] Area around campsite: Too dark to see
[Caption below the panel:] Relationship after camping trip: Strained


Macgyver Gets Lazy

Explanation:
MacGyver was an '80s and early '90s TV character, famed for improvising complex devices in a matter of minutes in order to escape dangerous situations. In this comic, MacGyver suggests an unusually direct plan—shooting the guard in the head. However, he still manages to describe his plan in a rather 'complex' manner.
It is worth noting that in the show, MacGyver was adamantly against the use of guns and never used one (at least, not for its intended purpose) in the entire run of the old series.
A MacGyver reboot was made in 2016 and was not well received (38% on Metacritic, 4.6/10 in iMDb). Despite this negative reception, the series began its fifth season in December 2020.
The Wikipedia page referenced by the title text redirects to the main MacGyver entry since September 2012. The Wikipedia page can still be found in history , and the content has been moved to MacGyver wikia and expanded. As of now, the page redirects to MacGyver (1985 TV series) .
[Outside of a building with a door marked No Entry and a guard standing outside, Cueball and MacGyver are hiding.] Cueball: Any ideas? MacGyver: I can use the trigger mechanism of this gun to ignite a small explosive charge, propelling a metal slug into the guard's head.


I Am Not Good with Boomerangs

Explanation:
The strip shows Cueball throwing a boomerang four times, each time finding a difficulty in catching it.
The first time, it merely hits him in the head. The second time, six boomerangs come after him. The third time, a shark somehow returns to him. The fourth and final time, his girlfriend Megan floats back to him—then she states: "I'm leaving you."
The title text refers to a bonus strip—if one reads the rightmost panels straight down, you get a strip that suggests that Megan threw multiple things at him out of anger before breaking up with him. This seems to mirror the plot of the 2006 comedy film My Super Ex-Girlfriend , in which the eponymous character throws multiple things at the protagonist (including a shark) prior to breaking up with him.
Boomerangs return in a kind of sequel 475: Further Boomerang Difficulties , which might also have yet another sequel in 939: Arrow . Finally, boomerangs also became a main theme in the interactive comic 1350: Lorenz . The same format of multiple bad endings to the same starting set-up is used in 1515: Basketball Earth .
[Cueball throws a boomerang, but it hits him in the head when it returns.]
[Cueball throws the boomerang again, but this time several boomerangs chase after him.]
[Cueball throws the boomerang once more, and this time a shark inexplicably appears.]
[Cueball throws the boomerang a final time, and Megan appears, hovering.] Megan: I'm leaving you.


In Popular Culture

Explanation:
Wikipedia is a popular online encyclopedia with articles that are created and edited by the general public [ citation needed ] . Wikipedia entries have many sections, with the first few explaining the general concept and details behind the subject.
When this comic was written, many Wikipedia articles had a section at the end entitled "in popular culture," listing TV shows, movies, songs, and so on that made reference to the subject at hand. In many cases, this list was extensive, possibly because the people editing the articles were such fans of the subject or the pop culture in which it is referenced. They couldn't help but go into great detail, listing many esoteric and seemingly irrelevant elements of pop culture that were peripherally related to the subject of the article. As an example, see the old article Apollo in popular culture , which as of August 2007 redirects to Apollo . This comic caused a lot of vandalism adding an "In popular culture" section to the wood page.
The joke in this case is that even such a mundane article such as one on wood could have an "in popular culture" section, and, obviously, wooden items are common enough that there are any number of instances of popular culture that could be considered to "reference it," even if that's something as basic as a wooden item being used as a prop in a TV show. Such information would be of little or no use to anybody, and only somebody obsessed with wood, a particular element of pop culture in which wood makes an appearance, or the concept of placing pop culture references in encyclopedia articles would bother to create or maintain such a section.
Also, wood being such a popular material, the list of references could be virtually endless. This is a reference to the fact that the "in popular culture" sections of many Wikipedia articles contained dozens of items, even for articles on fairly arcane subjects. Note that the end of this particular "in popular culture" section is not visible, so we don't know how long it is.
The title text states that in the future, there will even have to be a wiki page with the subject "In popular culture." This article will also need an "in popular culture" section, and it will be obvious to make a reference directly to this title text, as xkcd is part of popular culture and because this title text predicted the creation of and a need for such a page. However, this would then create a circular reference. This could be considered a form of infinite loop, which is one way to cause a computer to crash (lock up). The joke is that the blogosphere could follow this endless train of circular links and itself crash, causing an "implosion."
This comic was actually mentioned in Wikipedia:"In popular culture" content (however, the blogosphere did not implode) [ citation needed ] . However, on April 23, 2014, the reference was edited out. It has since been added under the external links section of Wikipedia:xkcd in popular culture . The reference was added back in May 2015.
[A fictional screen capture of the Wikipedia article for "wood" is shown. There is a picture of wooden boards labeled "wooden boards."] Wood is a hard, fibrous tissue found in many plants . It has been used for centuries for both fuel and as a construction material for... [cut in page.]
In popular culture: In episode 6 of Firefly , " Our Mrs. Reynolds ," Jayne is given a wooden rain stick by a villager. In the Buffyverse , Buffy often slays Vampires using stakes made of wood. The wand used by Harry Potter is made of wood from a holly tree. The fence around the back yard of the house in The Simpsons is wooden. In the 2004 TV series Battlestar Galactica [rest of page is cut.]


Too Old For This Shit

Explanation:
This comic makes fun of the fact that most mathematical geniuses have done their exceptional work (for which they eventually become famous) in their early years by exaggerating it, particularly given that "too old for this shit" is a phrase more appropriately used by people later in age. At the age of thirteen, even precocious mathematicians would not be pushing the frontier of mathematical knowledge, let alone to the point where they would be "too old for it." As such, this is more a joke about a young boy attempting to dismiss the world around him. It also plays on the fact that in xkcd comics, it is often difficult to tell age because of lack of detail, which is necessary to set up the final punchline.
A striking example is Carl Friedrich Gauss , the famous mathematician, who wrote his exceptional masterpiece Disquisitiones Arithmeticae at the early age of 21. This idea was for instance used in the fictional biography of Gauss, Measuring the World , where he admits to having trouble understanding his own work when he got older because of his age.
The "age theory'" applies to physics as well. Albert Einstein was also very young (26) when he published his four groundbreaking papers in the same year (his Annus Mirabilis in 1905) including the one that eventually gave him the Nobel Prize . Later in life, for instance, he never accepted the theory of quantum physics - which is now a very well established theory.
The title of the comic, "Too Old For This Shit," is also a reference to the Lethal Weapon series, in which one of the main characters (Roger Murtaugh, played by Danny Glover) is repeatedly quoted as saying things along the line of "I'm too old for this shit."
The title text asserts that thirteen is way too old as it claims that mathematicians should do their great work at the age of eleven! If not - they will never do anything great.
[Two Cueballs are standing in front of a whiteboard. They are facing away from each other, not yet fully conversing with each other.] Cueball 1: I wish I could do math like when I was young. Cueball 2: Huh?
[The two now face each other. They talk to each other.] Cueball 1: It doesn't come easy like it once did. Cueball 2: Uh huh.
[Still talking.] Cueball 1: Math is a game for the young. I need to sit back and let the future happen.
[Still talking.] Cueball 2: You're thirteen. Cueball 1: Yes, and it's time I accept that.


Good Morning

Explanation:
Both characters have irregular sleeping schedules (possibly because they are programmers). As such, their circadian rhythms have become out of sync with one another, and probably out of sync with everyone else in their own timezone . They therefore experience something similar to the " jet lag " experience by travelers going from one timezone to another.
The title text clarifies that they are using "going to sleep at midnight and waking up at 8 AM" as their standard of measurement. If the drowsy man was "in Honolulu" yesterday and has woken up "in Taipei," it means he has gone to sleep 6 hours later than yesterday, and is now also waking up 6 hours later than yesterday (if you don't take the International Date Line into consideration).
This comic may (like in 320 ) be a commentary of the 28 hour day where a person shift their sleep patterns to 6 x 28 hours a week instead of the usual 7 x 24 hours.
[A drowsy Hairy walks over to Cueball on a computer.] Hairy: *Yawn* Good morning from Taipei. Cueball: You're drifting west. You were in Honolulu just yesterday. Our sleep schedules are so messed up that's it's easiest to just refer to where our internal clocks seem to be.


Things Fall Apart

Explanation:
Megan and Cueball are about to break up. Megan is trying to explain things, but Cueball is constantly saying "I love you," asserting that the fact that he loves her should be enough to keep her from breaking up with him. But while loving the other person is a necessary condition for sustainability, it is not a sufficient reason all on its own.
The title text says that 'I'm nothing without you' is a fucked-up sentiment. This could read to imply that that's what Cueball really means, and he isn't saying it that way because 'I love you' is a more acceptable way of expressing it. Saying it over and over again, like he is doing, has almost the same effect, though. Conventionally, it could be said that the mindset of someone believing that they are nothing without their partner—in other words, defining their identity in terms of the other person—is a dangerous and unhealthy sentiment. A person should have enough self-identity and sense of self-worth to know that they have value even outside the context of a relationship.
The title of the comic, "Things Fall Apart," could be a reference to the poem The Second Coming by W.B. Yeats, which contains the line "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold," implying that things between Megan and Cueball are falling apart, and the fact that Cueball is still in love with Megan (arguably, the "center" of the relationship) isn't enough to sustain them.
[Megan and Cueball are holding hands. The speech is in bubbles with arrows pointing towards the two. Not as usual with text just written above a line from the speaker.] Megan: I wonder about us. Cueball: I love you.
[Megan lets go of Cueball's hand. But he keeps his hand in the same position as before. Cueball's speech bubble covers the bottom of Megan's, indicating that he speaks partly over her sentence.] Megan: We don't have fun together. Cueball: I love you.
[As Megan keeps her hands down, Cueball lifts his arm even more towards her. His speech bubble is covering the top part of his head, as well as the bottom of Megan's bubble.] Megan: It's like we're clinging to the "relationship" framework like it's all we got. Cueball: I love you.
[Megan leans back from Cueball as he leans towards her, one arm outstretched toward her. Cueball's speech bubble covers the lower right section of Megan's bubble, breaking her sentence off in the middle of her last word, clearly showing that he speaks in over her speech.] Megan: Who are you trying to reassur— Cueball: I love you I love you I love you I love you


The Sea

Explanation:
Cueball becomes introspective when contemplating the sea. The straightforward reading of "how small I really am" means he feels humbled by the sea and recognizes his insignificance on this planet. This is a common sentiment expressed in poetry, literature, and blogs.
The final line I should get one of those pumps is most likely to, at first, be understood as getting a pump to drain the ocean. The reflection on the joke would run along the line that Cueball is so unsatisfied with the way the ocean makes him feel, the size of the sea intimidating him, that he intends to drain the sea to make him feel better about himself. (This is of course impossible as the size of the sea is many billions if not trillions of times bigger than the biggest storage tanks on Earth today.)
However, in English, the sentences I'm small and I'm big can also be a euphemism for my penis is small and my penis is big .
Even if Cueball is not literally saying that he has a small penis, men very commonly associate their own self-image with the size of their organ. Therefore, enlarging it would improve their self-image and make them feel less small.
The final line in the comic: I should get one of those pumps , could thus be understood to reference a penis pump , a device that is alleged to permanently increase the size of the male member.
The title text is referencing that Cueball would also like another pump - and this one should be the one for draining the sea. But by specifying in the title text that the first pump is not for the sea, Randall is ensuring that it is possible to understand the full joke.
[Cueball stands on a beach at night, staring out across the moonlit ocean. The three lines of text stand above the moon, above Cueball (white on black), and on the beach (black on white).] Cueball: The sea always makes me realize Cueball: how small I really am. Cueball: I should get one of those pumps.


Impostor

Explanation:
While the comic is ostensibly about grad students, it is really Randall 's way of poking fun at the relative rigor of different fields, reminiscent of 435: Purity . In the comic, Cueball attempts to pose as an expert in a given field (a recurring pastime of his) and sees how long it takes before the real experts detect his nonsense.
The first panel shows Cueball discussing an engineering problem with Ponytail . Ponytail is talking about an immediate practical problem involving heat dissipation. Cueball suggests 'using logarithms ' to solve it; logarithms are a mathematical tool used for expressing an exponential relationship as a linear one. While logarithms have many uses in engineering, they are an abstract mathematical concept, and not a method of dissipating heat, so in the context of the conversation, it makes no sense and outs Cueball as having grabbed a random word he knows engineers use and thrown it in to sound smart. With the engineer's conversation focusing on an immediate practical application, it only takes 48 seconds before he exposes himself.
The second panel shows a conversation with linguistic grad students who are apparently discussing the Finno-Ugric language family (a family of related languages that includes Hungarian, Finnish, and Estonian). Cueball asks if Klingon is included in this family. The linguists instantly recognize the meaninglessness of the statement — either because Klingon is a constructed language, designed to sound "alien" to avoid sounding like any human language (thus it cannot be part of any real linguistic family), or because "Klingon" is a recognizable pop-culture reference. Either way he has exposed himself after only 63 seconds of conversation. That all being said, as the inventors of the Klingon language have taken the word order from the Finno-Ugric languages after a research that the order of "predicate, subject, and object" is least common in human languages, so there is at least some roots of Klingon language to analyze.
In the third panel, the humour comes from the fact that the idea of sociology existing to rank human beings on some arbitrary intrinsic value is not only ridiculous in a scientific context, but also politically offensive. Cueball unknowingly recreates the logic behind some of the worst crimes in human history, a problem sociologists are trained to be very aware of. However, it may be something that a less educated non-sociologist would assume could pass within the field. When he describes his unscientific and offensive approach, we see one of the sociology grad students facepalming in exasperation. Because a non-expert may be able to sound somewhat educated in sociology before making such a slip-up, it is four minutes into the conversation before he is detected.
In the final panel, he attempts to pass as an expert in literary criticism . This field notoriously uses a great deal of impenetrable jargon, so when Cueball makes up seemingly meaningless sentences, no one notices. His quip at "deconstructing the self" may be a meta joke about the field itself failing under deconstruction... (or this sentence may be a meta-meta- example of someone applying literary criticism standards to the analysis of this specific comic). We find that rather than being caught out within minutes as in the other fields, he has now published 8 papers and 2 books. The humor comes from the fact that he has accidentally made himself into a recognized authority in the field, despite not having any idea what he was talking about. In this panel, Cueball is sitting in an armchair in the position of an expert lecturing to a student, who sits at his feet apparently absorbing his inane statement.
This implies that the field itself has published a great deal of meaningless things that only superficially look meaningful through the impenetrability of the jargon. The title text challenges the audience to take a look at the Wikipedia article for literary deconstruction if they don't believe this criticism applies - the Wikipedia article in question is almost constantly flagged for "clean-up" on the grounds that it's a jumbled mess. An archive of the article as it was when this comic was published is available here .
[Caption above the panels:] My Hobby: Sitting down with grad students and timing how long it takes them to figure out that I'm not actually an expert in their field.
[For all four panels below, there are two frames crossing the border of each panel. The ones at the top left have a caption, and the one below right has the result of the timing.]
[Ponytail and Cueball are sitting across from each other in office chairs.] Engineering: Ponytail: Our big problem is heat dissipation Cueball: Have you tried logarithms? 48 seconds
[Cueball is sitting in a chair at the center of a table looking left at another Cueball-like guy. To the right is a long black-haired girl.] Linguistics: Cueball: Ah, so does this Finno-ugric family include, say, Klingon? 63 Seconds
[Cueball is standing with his hands up talking to another Cueball-like guy and Megan who has lifted her arm to palm her face.] Sociology: Cueball: Yeah, my latest work is on ranking people from best to worst. 4 Minutes
[Cueball is sitting in an armchair with another Cueball-like guy sitting attentively in front of him on the floor.] Literary Criticism: Cueball: You see, the deconstruction is inextricable from not only the text, but also the self. Eight papers and two books and they haven't caught on.


Mission

Explanation:
Cueball and Beret Guy are on a mission, intending to destroy whatever machine they are in, except that Beret Guy tends to be a bit surreal and brought a bag for holding pastries instead of explosive charges.
This is not the first time he's made such a bakery mistake; see 434: xkcd Goes to the Airport .
He then attempts to eat what Cueball identifies as lug nuts , believing them to be scones. In reality, lug nuts do not look very similar to scones. [ citation needed ] He bites into them and it hurts him, but as he says, maybe some of them are not lug nuts, and he wishes to test them all.
The title text further emphasizes Beret Guy's obsession with bakery goods, by stating that if a random object is selected, there will be a 1/6 chance that it is a scone, which explains his behavior with the lug nuts. This is, of course, a ridiculous assertion, as if it were true, more than 16% of all things in the universe would have to be scones.
Beret Guy and scones are also referenced in the title text of both 677: Asshole and 1030: Keyed .
[Beret Guy and Cueball are rappelling down separate ropes into the interior workings of a large machine.] Cueball: Okay, we're in the belly of the machine. You got the charges? Beret Guy: The what?
[The two are standing next to some large pieces of machinery.] Cueball [gesturing]: The explosive charges! Beret Guy [pulling out a bag]: I just brought this bag for pastries. Cueball: The hell? We're on a mission here!
Beret Guy [looking around]: This isn't a bakery? Cueball [head in hand]: Oh, Christ, not this shit again.
Beret Guy [crouching by some lug nuts lying on a piece of machinery]: What about these scones? Cueball: Those are lug nuts. Beret Guy [stuffing them in his mouth]: ...Maybe SOME of them aren't. crunch Ow! crunch


Upcoming Hurricanes

Explanation:
This comic gives ludicrous and ironic upcoming hurricane paths on an unlabelled map of the Americas that shows the region roughly between central Canada and northern Brazil . Blue and red dotted lines indicate the future hurricane paths.
Enters from the east side of the map, wanders around the Atlantic Ocean in a scribble that seems to take the shape of an Ampersand . Then it goes north for a while, and then peters out without entering the Bermuda Triangle . The Bermuda Triangle is a location in the Atlantic Ocean loosely framed by the three corners Bermuda , Miami , and Puerto Rico . The myth is that (too) many ships and planes get lost once they enter inside the area of this triangle and disappear without a trace. In this case, the hurricane gets lost before entering and can't even find the triangle. It may also simply be a reference to the statistic that Bermuda is affected by many Atlantic hurricanes , and that this hurricane got lost on its way to its target.
Comes from somewhere to the north-west, goes through Illinois , and then back to the north-west. Illinois is located far from the ocean, and thus suffers few hurricanes - this particular one is extremely unlikely, and according to the name, exists purely so that Illinois will have a hurricane to deal with. Interestingly enough (though it did not affect the Chicago area or correspond with the path displayed in the comic), roughly one year later, a Super derecho , a storm resembling a hurricane or tropical storm in movement and form, struck central and South Illinois, in addition to much of Missouri and Kansas .
Refers to Sigmund Freud , who believed that accidental sexual expression was a reflection of the unconscious mind's sexual desires. The hurricane's path forms a pair of testicles beside Florida. Florida, due to its shape and location, can be said to resemble a penis, and the hurricane's shape and position exemplify Freud's ideas.
Comes from the east, starts to curve to the north, and then turns sharply to head straight for Florida and zigzag through it four times before dying out. Sticking out from the rest of the US, Florida is prone to hurricanes from the East, South, and West. And with the state not being very high or wide, it is common for a hurricane to run over Florida, lose some strength, then rebuild strength over the hot waters in the Gulf of Mexico, only to do a U-turn and strike again. This is not exactly what happens with this particular hurricane, where it turns out into the Atlantic Ocean again each time, suggesting a malicious intent.
Blue is the only hurricane path drawn in blue. The two hurricanes are playing a game zipping in straight lines and right angles around Haiti , Jamaica , and Cuba . When Red successfully cuts off Blue , the latter instantly dies, and then Red dies shortly thereafter. The game they play is the game of Light Cycles from the video game based on the movie Tron . Hurricane Blue lost because it crashed into the wall of light left by Hurricane Red's light cycle . (Note that real hurricanes are not dotted lines; the two hurricanes would have merged long before Hurricane Blue "lost.")
Forms a curve in the shape of a sinusoid above the bottom edge of the map. Its path resembles a sine wave. This kind of trigonometric functions can, however, both be expressed as sin(x) or cos(x), the latter being a cosine wave . They look exactly the same when there is no clearly defined coordinate system as in this case.
The title text refers to the 1938 New England hurricane (also known as the Long Island Express) that caused $4.7 billion in damage. Had it been further west, it could have caused more damage, as the right side of a hurricane is stronger and more destructive than the left side, as the winds on the right side push water inland. Randall asks for more damage assessments for such a hurricane that would be able to flood Manhattan in New York . Only four years after this cartoon was published, making it almost prophetic, Hurricane Sandy did strike the New York–New Jersey area as a post-tropical cyclone storm. Hurricane Sandy caused an estimated $74 billion in damage.
The 1938 hurricane is also referenced in 980: Money , where it is calculated that it would have caused $78 billion had it happened in 2011. However, if that hurricane had taken the same turn as Sandy did, the cost today could have been a staggering $237 billion.
[An unlabelled map shows the region roughly between central Canada and northern Brazil. Dotted lines indicating hurricane paths cover the map, all red except Hurricane Blue, which is blue. Each line is labelled - here follows the labels as they appear from the top and down:] Hurricane Where-the-Hell-Is-Bermuda Hurricane Illinois-Has-It-Too-Easy Hurricane Freud Hurricane Screw-It-Let's-Just-Trash-Florida-Again Hurricane Red Hurricane Blue Hurricane cos(x)


Rewiring

Explanation:
At the time this comic was written, most residential buildings in North America were wired for analog devices using the old landline telephone services , although thanks to the growth of internet telephone and wireless telephone technologies, including cordless and mobile phones, this in-house wiring was increasingly redundant. See also Use of mobile phones .
At the time, people who took their internet access seriously would have preferred that at least some of the phone wiring and phone jacks in their residences were Ethernet ( Cat-5 or Cat-6 ) wiring and ( RJ45 ) jacks for providing wired internet access throughout their home, or in this case, to their neighbour's home, so that they wouldn't have to resort to Wi-Fi , which was then slower and less reliable than a wired connection.
The title text suggests that it shows a fanciful way of converting analog phone lines to digital ethernet lines by simply faxing an ethernet cable, since a fax machine is a tool for converting analog content into digital.
Since the faxing of the ethernet cable is apparently successful, the comic is not really about the conversion, but is instead a subtle computer network joke about tunneling , whereby you can embed one kind of network access protocol within a very different protocol. Herein lies the humour: Cueball and Megan are apparently under the impression that they can achieve a faster connection by tunnelling a high-speed protocol (ethernet) through a slower (landline telephone service) one. Generally speaking, this is not true. The only exception is when embedding a compressed data stream within a non-compressed standard. The performance boosts, however, are typically modest for lossless compression , and not the orders of magnitude difference our novices apparently hope for.
The title text, which is a reference to foonetic user relsqui, was changed to correct their name to "Finn" after they came out as agender. (This comic was presumably inspired by this conversation they had over IRC.)
[Cueball is feeding cable into a device on a desk labeled "fax."] Fax: zzzzzz [Outdoors, showing a plant and a lamp (indicates panels 1 and 3 are separate locations).] [Megan, laptop behind her, is pulling a cable out of a fax machine.] Fax: zzzzz


Hats

Explanation:
Black Hat encounters a person who is wearing not one, but two black hats. Black Hat is not a person to be trifled with, but from his reaction, he apparently believes that Two Black Hats represents a considerable danger to him. Black Hat knows how dangerous he is to those with one fewer black hat than him, so he continues the logic and realises that one who has one more black hat must be proportionally dangerous to him.
If a black hat is assumed to be akin to a badge of rank, then Two Black Hats certainly is superior to him in the capacity and willingness to do evil. Alternatively, and even more worrying, Two Black Hats could be someone who has the desire and the ability to acquire black hats (possibly killing the previous owners in the process if having two black hats really means that the individual is more malevolent than Black Hat), which he then wears like a badge of honor. With all this in mind, Black Hat edges away, keeping Two Black Hats in sight at all times. This movement and the accompanying line could also be interpreted as Black Hat being physically pushed away, like two negative or two positive poles of a magnet, although this does not explain why it only starts after a beat panel.
This comic is also a metatextual joke about xkcd itself. Because of the comic's simplistic art style and characterization, Black Hat has only two defining physical traits: his hat and his hair, which we see when he takes off his hat, and one defining personality trait, his malevolence. Randall then implies that the two traits must be correlated, so that a black hat signifies malevolence, and accordingly two hats must signify even more malevolence -- an idea that wouldn't make any sense in real life, where a person with two hats would just be making an odd fashion choice. [ citation needed ]
The title text is simply "..." This may represent the slow-motion pause during which Black Hat's nefarious life flashes before his eyes, as he considers his impending doom. It may also emphasize how the usually witty Black Hat is, for once, speechless. Or the title text is similar to that in 412: Startled , where Black Hat also becomes the little one (and with much focus on the black hat, as in this comic). As mentioned there, such a short title text could be due to the fact that it's a somewhat surreal comic, and any further commentary might have detrimentally brought it down to Earth. See also 82: Frame , with the same title text, but no relation to black hats.
Two Black Hats makes a reappearance in 826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC) , down by the restrooms.
[Black Hat is walking.]
[Black Hat stops in front of another man with two Black Hats, the uppermost hat tilted about 45 degrees back.]
[After two panels, the original Black Hat steps backward, shuddering slightly.]


Cautionary

Explanation:
Cueball 's cousin decides to install Linux on her new PC, and calls Cueball, whom she views as her personal Linux expert.  The overarching joke revolves around the fact that Linux, especially home PC-based GNU/Linux, was (at the time of this comic's publication in 2008) much more often used as a "hobby" OS, as compared against a "productivity" OS such as Windows or macOS .  Large numbers of people use Windows or Mac by default, because it came with their computer hardware when they bought it, and it already had the software suite they wanted to use installed along with it.  Linux, on the other hand, rarely comes pre-installed on PC hardware and generally must be deliberately chosen and acquired.  While it can be set up to achieve efficient and productive workflow in virtually any area on PCs, because it often must be consciously selected, installed, and configured by users, it tends to either attract or, in a few cases, create individuals who take disproportionate pleasure in, and derive self-identification from, hacking the operating system itself.  Thus, many people who are Linux enthusiasts began by not really knowing anything about it other than that it's free of cost , but the process of actually building Linux on their machines gradually led them to take an increasing interest in it, which the comic humorously likens to substance addiction.
Xorg (officially X.Org ) is an implementation of the X Window System, a program responsible for the graphical display used on Linux.  If it has configuration problems, which was quite common with some video card drivers back in 2008 (especially those for ATI Radeon cards ), it is often difficult and/or painful to fix (see 963: X11 ). Man pages are manual pages for Unix-based operating systems and software, usually accessible online but also bundled with the software itself.  Considered helpful and clear by the sorts of advanced computer users who typically run Linux, the text-only documentation can seem inaccessible for less-technical users.  Here, the joke starts to build in that Cueball's cousin, a computer novice who just wanted something to work out of the box, is now having to learn how to understand Linux documentation in order to fix her ongoing Xorg problem (likely an inability to start a graphical environment, something a novice user would depend on).
In the third panel, we see that the cousin has had new problems.  Though she likely has been able to fix Xorg, she is now having problems with Ubuntu's auto-configuration tools.  She suggests that she is considering switching to a more advanced Linux distro in order to sidestep the failing autoconfig issues.  A Linux "distro" (distribution) is a suite of tools and applications that provides a specific user experience on top of the core Linux operating system.  Each distro has a different look and feel and different feature sets and design philosophies. Ubuntu is a very popular "beginner" version of Linux, designed to "just work" and be familiar and usable to people fresh out of Windows. Debian is a popular but somewhat more "advanced," traditionally " Unix-like ", distro, with a huge and diverse base of supported software that generally requires more Linux know-how to configure and use.  In fact, Ubuntu is based on Debian, and under the hood they have similar features, so that it would not be considered much of a leap for a competent Ubuntu user to switch. Gentoo , on the other hand, is a very advanced distro allowing for extreme customization and optimization, but requiring extensive install and setup time.  It is generally considered to be complex and beginner-unfriendly (to the point that its difficulty has become somewhat memetic in the Linux world), a trade-off for providing a powerful and versatile set of tools for advanced system hacking.  It appears that during the past four weeks, Cueball's cousin has started to consider that solving her problem would require complex tweaking.
In the fourth panel, it appears that the cousin has indeed switched to Gentoo, because a hallmark of that distribution is that the kernel (the basic core of the operating system) must be compiled from source code upon installation.  Source code is a computer program expressed in human-readable text; however, source code cannot be run directly by a computer, and instead needs to be compiled into low level machine instructions the computer can understand.  This means that with Gentoo, instead of downloading an already functional Linux system to install and run, users download the source code for the system, customize it to their own needs, then compile the code into a executable version of the OS, all before they can begin to use the system.  Reasons that the cousin may want to do this include needing the kernel to be compiled in a non-standard way that is not supported by more mainstream distros, or incorporating third-party code or even her own modifications into the kernel.  Compiling a kernel with the aforementioned modifications is a tricky affair, since any mistake or oversight can render the kernel, and thus operating system, non-functional, requiring the custom kernel to be anew.  This panel implies that this has indeed happened, with the cousin compiling the kernel over and over again for days without sleep.  To many such advanced users, their installation of Linux is like a hobby car: a project to be constantly tweaked and adjusted to fit one's exact needs, that spends as much time sitting around with its hood open as it is actually used for its ostensible purpose.  By week 12, it is likely that Cueball's cousin has totally forgotten about her original plans for the computer and has become obsessed with Linux in a way that Randall compares with drug addiction for comic effect.
Similarly, in the fifth panel, Randall riffs on the old anti-drug message "Parents, talk to your kids about drugs before someone else does," with the meaning being if a responsible adult does not educate their kids about the dangers of drugs (or Linux), then someone else (likely a peer) might convince them that drugs (or Linux) is a good idea.  There is an additional call to the theory of gateway drugs , where mild drugs like alcohol or cannabis will lead to harder drugs like cocaine and heroin.  In the comic, Cueball's cousin starts out with Ubuntu, a "gateway" version of Linux, which leads to Gentoo, a harder, more niche version, with the end result being her vanishing for weeks inside her house, compiling her kernel, like a junkie hopelessly hooked on drugs.
The title text continues the joke about Linux's poor support for many Wi-Fi cards common in 2008, a device that is not only well supported on Windows, but was typically seen as making networking easy for less technical users.
While the comic sarcastically pokes fun at the difficulties in using Linux (circa 2008), it also indirectly shows some of its advantages.  The first one is that it is a freely available alternative to Windows; the second is that it provides users the tools to make fixing problems possible, whereas with Windows, the only problems that are fixed are the ones Microsoft chooses to fix; and the third is that it can increase one's knowledge of one's own computer, as the cousin, who barely seems to know how computers work past very basic end-user functionality, has become extremely advanced after several weeks.  The comic is also somewhat anachronistic, as over time, hardware support in Linux has become much more robust; it is currently unlikely that Cueball's cousin would experience broken graphics or wind up in kernel compile hell to enable basic functions such as Wi-Fi.
Linux: A True Story: [Cueball talks on a cell phone.] Week One: Cousin: Hey, it's your cousin. I got a new computer but don't want Windows. Can you help me install "Linux"? Cueball: Sure.
[Cueball's cousin sits in an office chair with her laptop on her lap. She is on the phone.] Week Two: Cousin: It says my XORG is broken. What's an "XORG"? Where can I look that up? Cueball: Hmm, lemme show you man pages.
[Cueball's cousin crouches on the floor with the laptop on her lap. She is still on the phone.] Week Six: Cousin: Due to auto-config issues, I'm leaving Ubuntu for Debian. Cueball: Uh. Cousin: Or Gentoo. Cueball: Uh oh.
[Cueball's cousin lies on her stomach with the laptop on the floor. On the floor are several pieces of paper and a book. Cueball stands to her left.] Week Twelve: Cueball: You haven't answered your phone in days. Cousin: Can't sleep. Must compile kernel. Cueball: I'm too late.
[Box with text:] Parents: talk to your kids about Linux... Before somebody else does.


Frustration

[Black bra with Rubik's cube closure.]

Explanation:
A bra is pictured here, but instead of a traditional clasp, a Rubik's cube is used instead. The comic is a metaphor for how many men (and potentially women who don't wear bras) have difficulty removing their woman lover's bra before sex.
Women who wear bras are going to be quite adept at unhooking their bras simply due to experience and muscle memory. However, many common bra clasps are unique to bras and aren't found on other clothing, so their bra-less lover, lacking that experience, might fumble with the clasp for quite some time. In the heat of the moment, a lover may feel frustrated if they feel that the act of removing a bra is needlessly complicated and distracts from the activity at hand (namely sex). Depending on the clasp mechanism, attempting to remove the bra may seem as frustrating (hence the comic title) and complicated as solving a Rubik's cube.
A literal bra clasped with a Rubik's cube would doubtless be especially frustrating, as someone wishing to remove the bra would have to solve the Rubik's cube every time in order to undo the clasp. This would doubtless prove annoying, especially for a partner who may want to remove the wearer's clothing without impediment.  A normal bra clasp can be tricky enough for the inexperienced user, but the addition of the Rubik's Cube element is going too far. However, it is possible that this is actually a nerdsnipe bra, as it appears to be a front-clasped bra, making the Rubik's cube a red herring.
The title text is an imagined conversation between someone trying to undo this bra and someone who is likely wearing the bra. The first person explains that they can "do it" (i.e. undo the bra) in under a minute, which is a reasonably impressive skill to have if you are not a professional speedcuber . The second person replies that they've noticed, a sarcastic reply that relies on the alternative, sexual meaning of "do it," implying a complaint about the first person's speedy performance in bed.
[Black bra with Rubik's cube closure.]


Regrets

Explanation:
The comic is a bar graph that shows more people regret having not pursued/kissed a love interest than regret having pursued/kissed one.
It should be noted that as of June 28, 2020, the position has reversed: there are about 52.5 million results for "I should have kissed her" and 62.7 million for "I shouldn't have kissed her."
The title text refers to the Friedberg and Seltzer movie Epic Movie , a "comedy" movie that received overwhelmingly negative reception, and is widely considered one of the worst movies ever made. In referencing that movie, Randall agrees with that opinion and expresses the theme of regret in a completely different context by suggesting that people who watched the movie overwhelmingly regretted doing so.
After this comic was released, the search results for "I'm glad I saw Epic Movie" at Google did grow up to more than 8,000 results.
[Bar Graph] Number of Google results for: "I _____ have kissed her" (or him) Shouldn't: 1,213 Should: 10,230


Holy Ghost

Explanation:
The majority of Christian sects (including Roman Catholicism ) profess belief in the conception of a singular God wherein there is a mysterious unity of three distinct 'persons' who share in one another's divinity, in a concept called the Trinity . The three persons are conventionally called the Father , the Son , and the Holy Spirit — but in more archaic English usage, the third person was referred to as the Holy Ghost .
The 1984 movie Ghostbusters was based on the premise that ghosts exist and that four unemployed men had access to technology that could trap such ghosts. These men formed a business as Ghostbusters, and an important tool in their arsenal was a so-called "proton stream" powered by a wearable backpack. These streams would prod or stun ghosts, allowing them to be maneuvered into traps. Throughout the movie, the Ghostbusters reminded each other 'not to cross the streams', as this was supposed to cause a disastrous reaction, until the climax of the movie where crossing the streams was required to banish the main antagonist.
Here we see that the Ghostbusters have apparently just encountered and eliminated the Holy Ghost, and are being taken to task by the Pope , the leader of the Roman Catholic Church. He points out that much of Christian theology is grounded in the doctrine of the Trinity and is unwilling to accept the Ghostbusters' apology.
The title text is a play on a short Catholic prayer called the Sign of the Cross (the physical motions of which involve touching the forehead, chest, and shoulders), the practice of which is colloquially called 'crossing oneself', and on the danger of the Ghostbusters' 'crossing the streams' and touching two proton streams together, which in Ghostbusters canon causes an explosive chain reaction in all nearby atoms.
[The Pope stands behind a table.] Pope: This is a disaster. Ghostbuster (off-screen): Is it really that bad? [The Pope seen from the side in white on a black background. The text is in white:] Pope: Do you know how much scripture we'll have to revise? Ghostbuster (off-screen): Look, we've apologized – [Zoom out from the bishop] Pope: I mean, we can't have a trinity with just a Father and a Son! Ghostbuster (off-screen): Again we're sorry. [The four Cueball-like Ghostbusters with their proton packs.] Pope (off-screen): Sorry's not enough. Guards, take their proton packs. Ghostbuster: Hey, we were just doing our jobs!


Paleontology

Explanation:
This comic is essentially a set up for a pun: "Underground" can mean "under the ground" (buried in the dirt) or "non-mainstream." In this case, Ponytail is whining that she had been doing paleontology before Jurassic Park kicked paleontology into the mainstream with living reproductions of dinosaurs, thus apparently undermining the hard work paleontologists had done. In other words, this comic is also poking fun at hipsters.
Of note is the fact that Acrocanthosaurus is misspelled in the third panel as " arco canthosaur."  Assuming this isn't merely a spelling mistake on Randall 's part, Ponytail's incorrect pronunciation further undermines her self-proclaimed superiority over all the Jurassic Park -inspired "bandwagon" paleontologists.
The title text refers to the controversy of calling the Brontosaurus by its newer, correct (at the time) generic name of Apatosaurus , despite its previous name still being in mainstream use long after its taxonomic redefinition in 1903. (As of 2015, Brontosaurus is once again the correct generic name, as it has been reclassified as a distinct genus .) The title text claims that this renaming has "jumped the ichthyosaur," which is a play on the idiom " jumping the shark " — i.e. that the subject of dinosaurs has reached a point of declining relevance, and Brontosaurus has been renamed as a publicity stunt to compensate. The " shark " in the idiom has been replaced by an " Ichthyosaur ," which was a marine reptile that resembled a shark or dolphin and lived alongside dinosaurs during the Mesozoic era (although sharks also lived during that time). 636: Brontosaurus also references the Brontosaurus name change. A Brontosaurus also appears in 15: Just Alerting You and an Apatosaurus in 650: Nowhere .
[Cueball and Ponytail in a museum, near a reconstructed dinosaur fossil and a display cabinet.] Ponytail: Man, paleontology sucks these days. Cueball: Why? Ponytail: Jurassic Park came out 15 years ago. Cueball: So? Ponytail: Today's grad students got into dinosaurs after seeing it as kids. They don't care about fossils. Brats. [A woman in a hat exploring a barren landscape.] Ponytail: Before they had living dinosaurs handed to them by Hollywood, I was out in Texas digging up Arcocanthosaur teeth. Cueball: So, you were into dinosaurs when they were still underground? Ponytail: Exactly!


Google Maps

Explanation:
Google Maps is a web mapping service application. Before smartphones with GPS mapping software were widespread and most people's printers hadn't yet run out of ink, it was common to print out directions to take with you on a trip. The web version of Google Maps has many features including a route planner. As sophisticated as early versions were, it occasionally gave suboptimal directions. For example, the directions may tell you to take an exit that, in reality, is unmarked. Directions also did not take time of day into account, which would help in planning routes to avoid traffic or to make use of services such as a ferry.
Though no specific game or movie is referenced, steps 75 to 81 of the directions read like the plot of a horror film, a guide of a video game, or a role playing game. A straw man is another term for scarecrow, a common antagonist in both. Step 80 reads exactly like an old text adventure game's description of an area.
There are additional small jokes in the distance column of the directions:
This might be a reference to Google Maps' many easter eggs .
The title text tells us that Cueball and his brother attempted to drive around the lake, since they could not take the ferry. It seems they also had an unfortunate run-in with the Straw Man, apparently waking him as the directions warned against.
My road trip with my brother ran into trouble around page three of the Google Maps printout
[Google Maps printout.] ← 70. Slight left at RT-22 - go 6.8 mi → 71. Turn right to stay on RT-22 - go 2.6 mi ← 72. Turn left at Lake Shore Rd - go 312 ft → 73. Turn right at Dock St - go 427 ft [An icon of water] 74. Take the ferry across the lake. - go 2.8 mi
[A car is driving in the dark.] Brother: Okay, now take Dock St toward the ferry. Cueball: We're supposed to take a ferry? It's past midnight, and these woods are creepy. Brother: Google Maps wouldn't steer us wrong.
[Cueball and his brother stand outside the car. The ferry has a sign on it reading CLOSED.]
[Cueball is standing next to his brother, who is holding a Google Maps printout.]
[Cueball motions towards his brother.] Cueball: Let me see those directions.
[Google Maps printout.] [An icon of water] 74. Take the ferry across the lake. - go 2.8 mi ↗ 75. Climb the HILL toward Hangman's Ridge, avoiding any mountain lions. - up 1,172 ft ↷ 76. When you reach an old barn, go around back, knock on the second door, and ask for Charlie. - go 52 ft [An icon of a van] 77. Tell Charlie the Dancing Stones are restless . He will give you his van . - Careful [An icon of a straw man] 78. Take Charlie's van down Old Mine Road . Do not wake the Straw Man . - go π mi ← 79. Turn left on Comstock . When you feel the blood chill in your veins , stop the van and get out. - go 3.2 mi ↓ 80. Stand very still. Exits are north , south , and east , but are blocked by a Spectral Wolf . - go 0 ft [An icon of a menacing face] 81. The Spectral Wolf fears only fire . The Google Maps Team can no longer help you, but if you master the wolf , he will guide you. Godspeed. - go ?? mi


Freemanic Paracusia

Explanation:
Paracusia is a form of hallucination that involves perceiving sounds without auditory stimulus.
Morgan Freeman is an American actor who may be best known as the character Red in The Shawshank Redemption , where he is also the narrator. He narrates because he is especially known for his soothing and mellow voice, which helps him amplify performances in minor parts, such as God in Bruce Almighty . He has been a narrator of many TV programs and also narrated the major film War of the Worlds where he did not play any other part.
The comic is a play on the combination of the two. The idea is that while reading a text, instead of hearing your own voice in your mind's ear, you substitute it for Freeman's voice, giving a new perspective on the contents of the text. Here, the voice of Morgan Freeman converts the most annoying possible thing on the web (penis enlargement advertisements) into a soothing meditation.
The title text suggests to apply this specifically on the mostly stupid comments on YouTube, like those found in 202: YouTube .
[Cueball is sitting behind a desk with a computer.] Freemanic Paracusia: A disorder wherein you hear everything you read in the comforting voice of Morgan Freeman. [There is a thought bubble of Cueball's thoughts, within it is Morgan Freeman reading text.] Morgan Freeman: Why, you could enlarge your penis for cheap. My, my. Isn't that something.


Voting Machines

Explanation:
In the 2008 Ohio primary elections, there were numerous problems with electronic voting machines, which eventually required many districts to revert to pen and paper. Premier Election Solutions, the company that handled the machines, blamed these problems on McAfee antivirus software.
It is not uncommon to see computer software contracts stipulating that the vendor will warrant that software and systems delivered will not contain any viruses or malicious code ("malware") — a knee-jerk reaction to this is for novice management to include malware-scanning "antivirus" software for systems that otherwise are closed. From a computer programming standpoint, having antivirus software on an electronic voting machine doesn't make sense, because ideally the machine shouldn't be connecting to *anything* external (eg the internet, USB, a local network, removable drives, bluetooth...) that would leave it open to malware attacks. While there are many ways that malware can reach a computer, ultimately the computer still has to run executable code that was not distributed with it in the first place, which is something that no election machine should encounter in normal operation. Hence, the question is whether the voting machine manufacturer has taken the proper precaution preventing any external access.
Ideally, voting machines (as well as ATMs and other single-purpose appliances) should be embedded systems , supposedly making them incapable of doing the things that might necessitate antivirus software. However, in practice, such devices are more commonly built as application programs running on ordinary Windows PCs (inside of custom-shaped cases), and they download software updates over the internet, synchronize voting data to a single "Ballot Box" server over a local network, use USB peripherals which could potentially be replaced by a bad actor, etc. And even embedded systems are vulnerable to many classes of malware.
The comic makes an analogy to a teacher who reassures you that he always wears a condom when teaching. While a condom could be considered "protection," and therefore a good thing, common sense dictates that teachers should never end up in a situation where wearing a condom in school would be useful; this parallels the idea that while security in the form of antivirus software on voting machines could also be considered protection and a good thing, it should never be required. The comment is more likely to make people worried about why the condom is there and what purpose it's serving. Similarly, informed people might worry why a voting machine has any access to malicious executable code.
In panel one, both the facepalm and "You're doing it wrong" are Internet memes , used to mock someone who made a foolish mistake.
The title text refers to 153: Cryptography . Voting software is also featured in 2030: Voting Software .
[Caption above panels:] Premier Election Solutions (formerly Diebold) has blamed Ohio voting machine errors on problems with the machines' McAfee antivirus software.
[Cueball is sitting at a computer, facepalming.] Cueball: Wait. "Antivirus software"? On voting machines? You're doing it wrong.
[Cueball's friend enters the frame and speaks to Cueball.] Friend: Why? Security is good, right? Cueball: Of course. But, well—
Cueball: Imagine you're at a parent-teacher conference, and the teacher reassures you that he always wears a condom while teaching.
Friend: Ah. Strictly speaking, it's better than the alternative— Cueball: —Yet someone is clearly doing their job horribly wrong.