Guest Week Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)

Guest Week: Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content)

Explanation:
The comic starts with Cueball 's internal dialogue telling him what he's been thinking for some time now — that the girl he's looking at is so beautiful she seems unapproachable, and "what could she ever see in a guy like you", and typical fears that a guy has that prevents him from talking to a pretty girl.
Only to be interrupted by the girl's internal monologue, who introduces herself to Cueball's internal monologue and asks if he'd like to get a cup of coffee. As the internal monologues pair off and leave, they criticize the people whom they've been serving for so long, saying that they're made for one another, if only one of them would have the guts to start talking to the other.
The comic was guest-written by Questionable Content webcomic artist Jeph Jacques , whose romantic comedy series has lasted, as of 2020, more than 16 years and 4000 strips. The comic follows the vertical panel style typical of Questionable Content. But the art here is more in the xkcd style, showing only stick figures.
SPOILER ALERT: the following paragraph reveals some important plot details of the Questionable Content webcomic.
This comic may be a reference to Marten and Faye, two characters from Questionable Content. Marten meets Faye in QC #3 but is too shy to talk to her. Faye is less shy and introduces herself to Marten. Later, Marten and Faye are living together and have a crush for each other, but they don't get together because Faye is afraid of relationships since her father killed himself.
Guest Week was a series of five comics written by five other comic authors. They were released over five consecutive days (Monday-Friday); not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. The five comics are:
[A girl is sitting on a bench, reading a book. There is a tree. Far away, Cueball has a backpack on.] Cueball's thought bubble: There she is. The most beautiful girl you've ever seen.
[The focus is on the girl on the bench.] Cueball's thought bubble: Every day you take this route to class, she's sitting on that bench, reading.
[It goes even closer to her face.] Cueball's thought bubble: You'd introduce yourself, but you wouldn't know what to say. Besides, she's way out of your league.
[Back to the full panel.] Cueball's thought bubble: What chance could an average guy like you have with such a radiant- Girl's thought bubble: Hey.
[The girl looks up at her thought bubble with a question mark over her head.] Cueball's thought bubble: E-Excuse me? Girl's thought bubble: I said hey. You come by here a lot.
[The girl looks over at Cueball, who is scratching his head at his thought bubble.] Cueball's thought bubble: Oh, uh, yeah. On the way to class. Girl's thought bubble: Wanna skip class and go get a coffee?
[Cueball is pondering what's happening.] Cueball's thought bubble: Sure, I'd - I'd like that a lot. Girl's thought bubble: Great, let's ditch these losers. Girl: Hey!
[The thought bubbles are behind Cueball now, moving away.] Cueball's thought bubble: Man, I gotta tell you, I'm SICK of being that guy's internal monologue! So whiny! Girl's thought bubble: Seriously! I swear, he and Little Miss Daddy Issues over there were made for each other.
[The two look at each other silently.]


Guest Week David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)

Guest Week: David Troupes (Buttercup Festival)

Explanation:
This comic is a commentary on relationships. Megan is perfectly happy sitting on the moon (which is impossible) [ citation needed ] with Cueball , the person she loves. Cueball, however, has his experience ruined when he notices a former bully of his passing by below. After hitting the bully with a rock that he shoots from the moon with his slingshot , he can share in Megan's happiness. (This is practically impossible as well. To start, the rock would most likely fall back down unless Cueball could throw it at escape velocity, but the precision required for such a throw would be extreme, and he would need to account for the movement of the Earth and Moon, as well as the Earth's rotation. Even if accounting for all of that, it would very likely disintegrate in Earth's atmosphere.)
David Troupes is the author of the webcomic Buttercup Festival .
Guest Week was a series of five comics written by five other comic authors. They were released over five consecutive days (Monday-Friday); not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. The five comics are:
[Megan and Cueball are leaning against each other, sitting on top of a giant moon in a black, star dotted sky. Trees are visible on the bottom of the panel.]
[The scene broadens.] Megan: I've never been so happy. I— Cueball: Hold on—that guy used to dump my notebooks in high school. Give me a moment. Try to keep the moon steady.
[A rock hits a Cueball on the ground on the back of the head.]
[The guy falls and clutches the back of his head.]
[Back to the moon again, where Cueball is leaning his head against Megan while holding a slingshot.] Cueball: I've never been so happy.


Guest Week Bill Amend (FoxTrot)

Explanation:
Bill Amend , author of the newspaper comic FoxTrot , draws for Randall in this special ' Guest Week ' edition of xkcd . In the first two panels, we see Jason Fox , a geeky 10-year-old from Amend's strip. Jason asks to draw comics for Randall. When Randall refuses, he uses the sudo command, used in Unix systems to perform an action as an administrator/super user. This forces Randall to agree. This is a reference to the very popular comic 149: Sandwich , which has now become a geek culture catch-phrase.
It is a recurring theme in FoxTrot for Jason to offer to make substitute comics for artists, said comics usually involving mocking his sister Paige, and it is possible that Ponytail is representing her. This would be the first time that someone accepted his offers to make comics.
In the first comic, Cueball is making a pun on the word attractive . In the first context it means a person is  "good looking" or "beautiful" which the female character attributes to her hair. In Cueball's context, he means that he is feeling an increased gravitational pull from the woman, due to her increase in mass (see Gravitation ). This setup is also very typical of the Jason Fox character, who, ostensibly ten, is supposed to be too young to like girls.  The female character's hair is done up in a ponytail similar to how Paige usually keeps hers, so this comic strip may also be a joke at Paige's expense.
In 1927 Werner Heisenberg postulated his eponymous Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle , which roughly states that in quantum mechanics one cannot know both the position and momentum of a particle. The joke is that (presumably) Elisabeth Heisenberg does not know the position of her keys, because she knows too much about their momentum. (This is also the subject of 1473: Location Sharing .)
In many parliamentary and congressional halls it is customary, when calling an issue to vote to have the people who want the issue at hand to be passed to say out loud that they agree. The customary response to this is to say "aye." The dissenters are then asked. Their response would be "nay" or "no". Then the volume (by rough decibels ) of the assenters and dissenters are weighed. If it is close, a more formal vote may be called. "Aye" is pronounced the same way as the letter "i" and " i " is the mathematical value of the square root of negative one, which can be used to represent an imaginary number .
The title text of this comic draws attention to the fact that there are a number of notable people who have become famous as cartoonists, but also hold degrees in physics or have a strong interest in physics. This might seem unusual, because the average person might see physics and art as incompatible, and this is why Randall writes "an oddly large number." These people include:
Guest Week was a series of five comics written by five other comic authors. They were released over five consecutive days (Monday-Friday); not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. The five comics are:
[Jason from FoxTrot is sitting at an artist's desk with a pencil, holding a phone.] Jason: Hi, Mr. Munroe? I have a great idea! Let me draw some strips for you! Randall, through the telephone: Fat chance, kid.
[Zoom in to Jason.] Jason: Sudo let me draw some strips for you.

[The following are transcripts of three strips.]

[Cueball and Ponytail are looking at each other.] Cueball: I find you more attractive than usual. Ponytail: You do? Is it my new haircut?
[Zoom in to Cueball.] Cueball: Actually, I think it's all the weight you've been putting on. Your gravitational pull is pretty severe.
[Cueball is now alone in the panel.] Cueball: Just sayin'.

[Two people are in a living room. The woman is looking through a chest of drawers.] At home with the Heisenbergs Mrs. Heisenberg: I can't find my car keys. Mr. Heisenberg: You probably know too much about their momentum.

[Congress is in session.  The Speaker is standing on stage in front of an American Flag hanging by an ionic column, holding up a gavel. Seven Members of Congress are seen in front of the stage: a Cueball, a Hairbun, a man with glasses, a woman with long hair, and three more Cueballs.  The first, fourth, and sixth members have their hands raised.] Caption: Why mathematicians should run for Congress Speaker: All those in favor of the bill say "aye." Congressman #1: Aye. Congresswoman #2: Aye. Congress–Mathematician: √-1


Guest Week Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)

Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)

Explanation:
Randall himself (looking like Black Hat ) is talking to Jeffrey Rowland (sitting with a drink), who writes the popular webcomics Overcompensating and Wigu . That it is supposed to be these two real people is clear from the official transcript on xkcd.
This may be a reference to Scott Adams' God's Debris , in which a delivery guy has a long conversation about the nature of the universe with an old man. While often dealing with complex questions, the old man in the story presents arguments in a very straightforward way. Some have called some of the arguments in the book very clever and original, albeit overly simplistic. This comic could be a parody on that style of philosophy. The ridiculous theory of Jeffrey's about the correlation between Dark Matter and consciousness is perhaps a reference to Dust in author Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials series, in which Dust is the associated particle with the Rusakov "consciousness" field, interpreted in our universe as Dark Matter. He then postulates that the reason we can't see dark matter is that we are conscious ourselves, alluding to the urban legend that, much like how a watched pot never boils, the mailman will never deliver if you are watching. He then moves on to the subject of ghosts, perpetuating the idea of how far-flung and implausible his "theories" are.
Traditionally, turkey is the main dish of the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday.  Thus, the theory mentioned in the last panel is that turkeys started the holiday in order to drive themselves to extinction.  This is a reference to the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement (which merely advocated for people not reproducing. The "Turkey Voluntary Extinction Movement" took this to a much higher level by promoting the mass slaughter of turkeys.)
The title text is completely true: After a brown recluse spider bit him, Rowland started experiencing cell death in his leg. Although the wound itself is benign, it still is featured in Wikipedia articles (such as Loxoscelism ). This is the picture of the leg and this is the famous picture in the Necrosis article.
Guest Week was a series of five comics written by five other comic authors. They were released over five consecutive days (Monday-Friday); not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. The five comics are:
[Jeffrey Rowland and Randall wearing a black hat are sitting together. There is a big globe between them. Mr. Rowland has a drink with a small umbrella over it.] Jeffrey Rowland: But enough of my theories about Thanksgiving. The real reason we're here is to discuss my hypothesis that dark matter itself is what consciousness is made of...
[The frame focuses on Jeffrey Rowland.] Jeffrey Rowland: Unobservable to anything that is itself conscious in much the same way the mail-man won't deliver your mail if you are watching the mail-box
[Mr. Rowland raises his drink. The globe is now much smaller than in the first frame.] Jeffrey Rowland: Which brings us to my theory about ghosts- Randall Munroe: Wait did you just say Thanksgiving was invented by the Turkey Voluntary Extinction Movement?


Guest Week Zach Weiner (SMBC)

Explanation:
This comic is drawn by a guest webcomic artist, Zach Weiner (now Weinersmith), following the theme of "Guest Week". Zach is the author of the webcomic Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal . The original comic is interactive. It will show images of the exhibits (see below) by clicking on them.
The entire comic is a hypothetical " Smithsonian Museum of Dad-Trolling, an entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement." It is a common occurrence that curious children will ask simple questions about science to their parents, such as, "Daddy, why is the sky blue?" and a parent could respond, "Well Susie, the sky is blue to match your dress."
Guest Week was a series of five comics written by five other comic authors. They were released over five consecutive days (Monday-Friday); not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. The five comics are:

Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about scientific topics. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.
This section holds falsehoods that a dad might use to frighten his children. Fear is often used to discourage children from disobeying their parents. It is an interactive experience, so visitors can try something for themselves, then learn the frightening fact it indicates.
This area holds concession stands, which sell food. There are misleading names on each stand. The pop-outs in this section are based on jokes parents tell their children to frighten them about food.
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about history. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.
Each exhibit is a display set up to explain uncomfortable topics that children may ask their parents about. The answers given so that the children do not ask further questions.
In the spirit of xkcd I present a proposal for a new Smithsonian museum: The Smithsonian Museum Of Dad-Trolling An entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement
(Click to view exhibits!)
The top left room is 'The Hall of Misunderstood Science'. It contains six exhibits.
Exhibit: A giant basilisk looms over children. Exhibit label: BASILISKS: Real, deadly, under your bed.
Exhibit: Four magnets hang from a square arch. A child is touching two of them together. Text on the arch: Magnets only leap at each other when they're teenagers. Later, they lose interest.
Exhibit: A child on his dad's shoulders looks up at a looming statue of Jesus behind a lectern. There are flakes falling from Jesus onto them both. Exhibit label: Snow is Jesus' dandruff. His scalp gets dry when it's cold.
Exhibit: A child lies asleep, while hands and a scary face reach up around the bed toward him. Exhibit label: Sleep: Now you're vulnerable to the boogie man!
Exhibit: An ice block sits on a stand in front of pictures of a wolf and rhinoceros looking frightened. Exhibit label: Freezing water: Expands to frighten predators.
Exhibit: An insect on a stick is orbited by a small sphere. Exhibit label: Anti-matter: Matter that is more than 50% ants.
Exhibit: A DNA strand with the letters T, A, C, and G hanging around it. Exhibit label: DNA only has four letters because the alphabet was smaller back then. Dad, to child: Told you so.
Exhibit: A bunch of molecules hang from the ceiling. Exhibit label: Molecules? In my day, we only had atoms!
The top right room is 'Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience'. There are four exhibits.
Exhibit: Five balloons float tethered to a table. A child is holding a sixth balloon. The Dad looks alarmed. Sign on exhibit: If this helium makes your voice go higher, it's because you're ten seconds from exploding.
Exhibit: An alien face is shown above an outline of several hands next to a ruler. A child holds his hand up to it. Sign on exhibit: Measure your middle finger. If it's longer than the others, you're an alien halfbreed.
Exhibit: Three cups are on a table. A child is walking away with a fourth cup, the dad's arm around the child's shoulder. Exhibit label: Has anyone seen my rabbit brain? It looks like a cherry, and I dropped it in a Jello cup.
Exhibit: A monstrous set of jaws open upward around a bed. Sign on exhibit: Make your bed or monsters will know a kid lives there.
The center right room is 'Concessions'. There are three booths.
Booth: A concession stand is labeled 'KFP', and displays a KFC-style bucket. A dad and child are eating. Dad: The "P" is for "phoenix".
Booth: A concession stand. Sign on stand: Ground beef: Beef we found on the ground. Dad, to child: Told you.
Booth: A stand shaped like a giant eye. Booth label: EYES CREAM Subtitle: How did you think it was spelled? Sign on booth: Now with more of the goo in your eyes. Same as every other creamery.
The lower left room is 'Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History'. There are five exhibits.
Exhibit: A man is riding a dragon. Exhibit label: Genghis Khan: victory through dragons.
Exhibit: A criminal in front of some windows. Exhibit label: The Crimean War: The first war against crime.
Exhibit: A castle with flags hanging on it. Exhibit label: The Renaissance Subtitle: Long story short, the wizards were in control.
Exhibit:A man in Jedi-style robes with a fake beard. Exhibit label: Star Wars is a documentary. No, seriously. Dad, to children: Kids, this man is a veteran.
The lower right room is 'Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics'. There are five exhibits.
Exhibit: A wrestling ring, with a man and woman mostly obscured by the exhibit label. Exhibit label: Naked wrestling: perfectly normal. NEVER DO IT.
Exhibit: a figure sits at a booth in front of a bowl of food. The dad is holding a bottle. Exhibit label: Alcohol is poison. I drink to save you from it. Dad: You're welcome.
Exhibit: A large bird. Exhibit label: Mommies get big tummies before babies come because the stork likes chubby girls.
Exhibit: A rocket ship. Sign on exhibit: Grandma's not dead. She just returned to Saturn. For REVENGE.
In the areas outside the rooms, there are two more exhibits and restrooms, all clickable.
Exhibit: A dinosaur skeleton. Exhibit label: That's right. Dinosaurs were made entirely of BONES. Dad, to kid: If you think about it, it makes sense.
Exhibit: A large image hangs on the wall. It is a dense squiggly jumble of lines. Dad, to kids: You gotta squint juuust right. Sign on exhibit: Magic eye trick that doesn't actually work.
Restrooms: There are three doors, each with a sign. First door (male logo): Men & Boys Second door (female logo): Women & Girls Third door (unrecognizable logo): Korgmen & Spangs


My Business Idea

Explanation:
Many people have shared Cueball 's experience of seeing someone else make a profit from an idea that they themselves had. This comic plays with the thought of what would happen if intellectual property thinking was taken to an extreme, and if companies or people were keener on "setting things right" than money. The title text is an extension of the comic with increasingly extreme thinking.
In reality, having a great idea alone, of course, does not create a profitable business; there must generally be an enormous amount of effort put in to create a business from scratch, popularize it, and keep it standing. Having done none of this, Cueball would probably not deserve close to the "30% cut" he claims even if intellectual property did work the way it is presented here.
This comic originally was shared with the name 1721: Business Idea , but then this comic was renamed. There were no other relations between the ideas for the two comics, see the trivia section below.
[Cueball is sitting at his desk, pointing at his laptop.] Cueball: Dude! I had this idea like five years ago, and some company just got rich doing it! - I want my cut.
[Cueball starts typing.] Person off-screen: That's not how it works. Cueball: Sure it is. I'm applying for my share now. Person: Wait, what?
[A browser window with the title 'Department of Ideas'. It has a series of text boxes.] Date you had the idea: Like five years ago. Proof you had it: I told my friend Mike - you can ask him! I was all "you know what would make a great business idea?" and he was all... Their profit so far: $20,000,000 Share you deserve (be fair!): [Drop-down.] 25% 30% 35% Mailing address: 137 Ash Tree Ln
[Cueball still at the laptop, above him is a SUBMIT button, and it shows a pointing hand cursor.] CLICK
[Last panel set slightly lower than the rest.] [Cueball is in front of an open box full of cash, with cash in his hand. A FedEx delivery guy is on the other side of the box with his PDA and pen.]


Positive Attitude

Explanation:
Cueball feels bad because he's sick, and his friend tells him to think positively because that will make him feel better. After thinking a bit Cueball notices that, following that reasoning, if he feels bad it is his fault for being so pessimistic. That makes him feel even worse as now he's not only sick, but also feels guilty of his own sickness.
In the fourth panel, he throws away all the previous reasoning and decides his mood is not the problem: the problem is that he's sick. Also, he decides that whatever he feels now he'll finally get better because he's treating his disease.
In the last panel Cueball notices his last comment was actually optimistic, so that makes him feel better. At this point, it should be expected that Cueball's friend would say "see? looking at things in an optimistic way actually helps". However, he puts optimism as something bad by using the phrase "you suck at pessimism". Cueball then tries to be optimistic at his "sucking" by thinking he'll "be better at pessimism tomorrow". Of course, being good at pessimism is something he should avoid, as it was his very problem in the first few panels.
The title text takes a serious turn, and acts as an advice for people feeling bad for being sick. The point is that sickness makes one feel bad enough by itself without having to feel guilty for feeling bad when one's sick.
In the first panel, Cueball is connected to a monitor and an IV ( Intravenous therapy ). In a real hospital this might be recording data, such as heart rate (HR) and peripheral oxygen saturation (SpO 2 ) however in the comic, INT, CON and CHR are also recorded. These may be a reference to character stats in some role playing games. In the "Adventurer Conqueror King" system,  INT=Intelligence. CON=Constitution and CHR=Charisma.
[Cueball sits hunched with his knees drawn up to him on a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV. A friend stands by.] Cueball: I'm sick and I'm scared. Friend: Well, remember - having a good attitude is the most important thing. Think positively and you'll get better.
[Darkness surrounds Cueball on the bed. The friend is off-screen.] Cueball: So if I'm sad or afraid or feel like crap sometimes, then... Friend: ...then if you don't recover, it will be your fault.
[Cueball clutches his hands to his face and leans back.] Cueball: Well that makes me feel even worse. Friend: See? You're doing this to yourself. Cueball: No! Friend: Stop it! Cueball: Argh!
[Close up on Cueball, holding up his hand, pointing to himself.] Cueball: Okay, you know what? Screw this. My attitude isn't my problem. - My disease is my problem, and I'm treating it. - I'm going to be glum and depressed and pessimistic some days, and I'm going to get better anyway.
[Cueball sits on the edge of the bed, his friend still standing in front of him.] Cueball: Wait, that ended up sounding optimistic. Friend: I guess you suck at pessimism. Cueball: Maybe I'll be better at it tomorrow.


Arsenic-Based Life

Explanation:
This comic is about the December 2010 announcement of the (since refuted) discovery of a strain of extremophile bacteria that incorporate arsenic instead of phosphorous into some of their biochemistry.  The first three panels depict a group of scientists—including one shown with long, curly hair bound in a ponytail, identifiable from this hairstyle as Felisa Wolfe-Simon, the post-doctoral research associate who spearheaded the arsenic research (see 2421: Tower of Babel for another female scientist who is identifiable by her hairstyle)—preparing for their press conferences announcing the details of the discovery.
The trio are worried that the press conference about their discovery will be less exciting to the reporters, because the press are expecting news of life on Saturn 's largest moon, Titan . The researchers decide to try and make the event more exciting, but they don't know how to throw a good party. As a result, they look up advice on the internet and decide to serve cocktails and hors d'œuvres to fit the theme of the event.
The final panel shows the result, where the reporters are either dead or dying. It is implied that in order to fit the theme the researchers have laced the food and drinks with arsenic.
Arsenic is a chemical element which is known to be poisonous to humans and most other life forms. In 2010 NASA announced the discovery of bacteria GFAJ-1 (an abbreviation for "get Felisa a job") and claimed it to be able to sustain itself when starved of phosphorus, by substituting arsenic for a small percentage of its phosphorus. Most scientists did not believe in this and it was disproven in 2012. [1]
The comic draws its humor by picking on both scientists and reporters. It is a common theme in xkcd to show scientists who may be extremely clever within their field, but sometimes lack common sense and are inept at social situations. Reporters are often criticized for over sensationalizing discoveries and hunting for exciting stories.
[Three people, a curly, dark-haired girl with a ponytail (identifiable from context and hairstyle as Felisa Wolfe-Simon), Megan, and Cueball, stand looking at a laptop screen, which is sitting on a desk. Dr. Wolfe-Simon is pointing at the screen. There is no speech line down to her, but from her posture it must be assumed she does the talking written above the three.] Wolfe-Simon: Our arsenic-based DNA discovery is cool, but these reporters are expecting life on Titan! Our press conference will be such a letdown!
[Wolfe-Simon turns around to face Megan, zooming in so Cueball is not in the frame.] Wolfe-Simon: Okay, we need to make it more exciting for them. How do you make an event entertaining? Megan: Dunno, I suck at parties. Music, I guess?
[Wolfe-Simon turns back around and leans over to start typing on the computer, while the other two look on. Megan puts her hand to her chin.] Wolfe-Simon: WikiHow says you can "serve cocktails and hors d'œrves that fit the theme of your event." Megan: Easy enough!
[Wolfe-Simon stands on a podium behind a lectern ready to deliver the news, while Cueball stands amongst the audience, holding a tray with three drinks glasses. A fourth glass lies at foot of the lectern on the podium. Two Cueball-like guys in the audience are lying on the floor, one of them having fallen backwards in his chair, while a third Cueball-like guy is still standing but has his hands up to his throat as he is suffocating. Finally, Ponytail is slumped over in her seat with her head on her chest. One empty chair is still standing.]
The words "hors d'oerves" at the comic are just a misspelling by Randall for "hors d'oeuvres" (in French "hors d'œuvre" both singular and plural). The English pronunciation of these words is awr-DURVZ /ɔrˈdɜrvz/, with the R before the V, not after, which explains the mistake. [2] As opposed to the original French pronunciation, where the v and r keep the same order. [3]


Genetic Analysis

Explanation:
Genetic testing is a medical procedure where researchers analyze your DNA and family history to determine if you have elevated risk factors for diseases such as heart conditions and cancer. Here, the doctor appears to be delivering the results of Cueball 's genetic test but instead tells him that his parents had sex at some point.
People generally don't like thinking about their parents having sex, but it obviously happened, since having sex is usually the precondition for having children, [ citation needed ] so this test result is completely unsurprising. If the doctor only came to this conclusion after analyzing genes on several of Cueball's chromosomes, this could have been done in order to verify that Cueball's DNA indeed resembles the DNA of his supposed parents i.e., that the people whom he has always viewed as his parents are indeed his genetic parents. However, the alternative might be even more disturbing.
The title text notes that he could be an in-vitro fertilization baby, which does not require the parents to directly have sex. However, it seems to suggest that Cueball's mother was very attractive in her college years (or that she was pregnant). Thus, Cueball's mother probably did have sex (regardless of whether or not it was with Cueball's father). This is a reference to the stereotype that college students engage in large amounts of sex.
Cueball: Did my genetic tests come back? Megan: Yeah. Sit down. Cueball: Is it bad news? What are my risk factors?
[Cueball is now sitting in the chair awaiting her answer. Megan looks down at the clipboard.] Megan: We can't be sure about this, but we've analyzed genes on several of your chromosomes and it's hard to avoid the conclusion:
[Megan puts down the clipboard and looks at Cueball as she delivers her news. Cueball puts his hands to his face in dismay.] Megan: At some point, your parents had sex. Cueball: Oh God! Megan: Stay calm! It's possible it was just once! Cueball: I... I need to be alone.


Weather Radar

Explanation:
A weather radar is a device which uses the reflection of radio waves from rain or snow to detect where there is rainfall. The information from the radar is then shown on a map. In this case green means light rain while red or white represent very heavy rain - possibly a thunderstorm . These maps can be quite beautiful and mesmerizing to look at. In this case the speaker (who is located where the black dot is) enjoys watching interesting, unexpected events on the radar and is surprised to see a massive, unexpected storm heading straight for him. A storm indeed appears but splits in half and passes either side of him. The reaction of the speaker shows that this has happened before.
The caption suggests that this happens when the people who run the radar notice you looking at the page enough they tease you by adding a fake storm coming towards you which then disappears just as it approaches the speaker.
The title text explores how our perceptions are often inaccurate - someone may think that there are fewer storms than when they were young or that certain songs come up more often on their MP3 player, even when they don't. There are lots of these types of biases in judgement .
[A black dot on a pixelated weather radar screen.] Sigh. Just a few clouds.
[The clouds develop into orange, to the left of the dot.] Whoa! Huge storm out of nowhere!
[The orange becomes red, and the storm moves towards the dot.] It's growing! And headed right for me! Awesome!
[The storm splits in half.] Hey! What's it...
[The two halves of the storm pass by the dot.] Dammit! Again?!
When the folks at the weather offices see you refreshing the radar too often, they start teasing you.


Tic-Tac-Toe

Explanation:
In what follows we will use numpad notation for tic-tac-toe, i.e.:
Each map shows every possible combination of moves which will result in that side winning or tying. It assumes that X moves first, and its optimal move is X7. Any corner would do, so X1, X3 and X9 are also optimal moves. The map for X has a big red X7 (650×650 pixels), and the 8 remaining grids have a smaller (210×210) black X7.
The map for O has more combinations, because in this case X is not assumed to be optimal. All 9 subgrids have one big (210×210) black X and one big red O.
Note that only optimal moves are shown. For example, you can't find a grid beginning with X2 in Map of X, because X2 is not an optimal move.
In map for O you can find a 660×660 grid beginning with X2. Since the optimal answer is O5, you won't find X2, O8, for example.
Example 1
The largest red X in Map for X is X7. This means that O must go to cell 7 in  Map for O. The largest red O in this subgrid is the center cell O5. Therefore X must magnify cell 5 in the map for X and look for a big red X, which is X3, i.e. in the cell (6, 4) in a 9×9 grid. This can be repeated until one of the players wins or there is a tie.
Example 2
Download http://xkcd.com/832_large/ and edit it. Delete the upper part. Now you have a picture sized 2040×2150 pixels, with title MAP FOR O.
Assume X used the center cell, X5. You as O must magnify the center cell in the 3×3 map for O. Better still, select that cell and delete everything else. Now you have a picture sized 670×670 pixels, with a big red O7 and a big black X5. You must move O7 this time.
Assume X moves X9.
In your drawing program you select cell 9, which is 220×220 pixels. Look for the biggest red O, which is O1. You can see you blocked a winning move.
Now X, naively, plays X3
You select cell 3 in your drawing program, which is 73×73 pixels and looks like this
The O in cell 4 is red, which is your winning move.
Title text
The title text is a reference to the 1983 movie WarGames . In that movie, by playing Tic-Tac-Toe the AI realizes that some games cannot be won when all the players play flawlessly, and subsequently concludes that the only way to win at the nuclear warfare "game" is not to play.
1) In Map for X, the grid for X7, O9, X1, O4, X3 (i.e. go to Map for X, select cell 9, and then select cell 4) shows the same picture for O5 and O6. Those pictures belong to O6.

The correct pictures should be:
2) In Map for X, the grid for X7, O1, X9, O8, X3  (i.e. go to Map for X, select cell 1, and then select cell 8) shows the same picture for O2 and O5. Those pictures belong to O2. The correct pictures should be:
3) In Map for O, the grid for X8, O5, X2, O6 (i.e. go to Map for O, select cell 8, and then select cell 2) shows the same picture for X1 and X3. Those pictures belong to X3. The correct pictures should be:
4) In Map for O, the grid for X2, O5, X8, O4 (i.e. go to Map for O, select cell 2, and then select cell 8) shows the same picture for X7 and X9. Those pictures belong to X7. The correct pictures should be:
5) In Map for O, the grid for X6, O5, X4, O2 (i.e. go to Map for O, select cell 6, and then select cell 4) shows the same picture for X1 and X7. Those pictures belong to X1.

The correct pictures should be:
6) Typography coloring issue: in Map for O, X5, O7, X3, O1, X4, O6,  the O6 should be red to show that it's the latest move, instead of black.
7) Another typography coloring issue: in Map for O, X1, O5, X4, O7, X3, O2, X6, O9, X8,  the X8 is red, but in Map for O all X should be black.
8) In Map for O, there are eight "strategy" mistakes, when the O player could have won the game but doesn't. These can be found on:
The same on six other symmetrical games to the above.
9) In Map for O, there are four further "strategy" mistakes, when the O player could have won the game but doesn't. These can be found on:
The squares for X2 and X3 should be:
and
respectively. The same on three other symmetrical games to the above.
10)  In the map for O, center panel (first move X5), in the third level nested panel for X5, O7, X2, O8, X9, O1, move X2 from the second level "parent" panel is missing. The panel is depicted as:
where [] are the fourth-level nested panels, but should be:
Same for the symmetrical game X5, O7, X6, O4, X1, O9, where X6 is missing.
http://xkcd.com/832_large/
[The comic comprises two large square maps, each divided into nine sections, some of which are further subdivided in the same way. The subdivisions continue down for up to five levels, and the lower map has more tiny diagrams than the upper. The smallest divisions at every scale are completed tic-tac-toe games. At the smallest divisions some of the moves are too small to see.]
Complete map of optimal Tic-Tac-Toe moves
Your move is given by the position of the largest red symbol on the grid. When your opponent picks a move, zoom in on the region of the grid where they went. Repeat.
Map for X: [The first square map.]
Map for O: [The second square map.]


Convincing

Explanation:
This comic is a typical xkcd compilation. Relationships , math , graphs and of course, the twist. At 523: Decline Cueball's fascination with graphs seems to have retaliated against him. Cueball wants to get back together with Megan , but she declines and shows him a graph showing why. She thinks that the downward trend of the graph will convince him that their relationship is also in decline. But, Cueball takes that as this is a woman who does not follow proper protocol, since she does not label the axes (plural for axis) on her graph. We do not even know the unit of measure on the graph, let alone what each axis corresponds to. For all we know, the horizontal axis could be labeled "Time" and the vertical axis could be labeled "Crappiness of Relationship" or "Unawesomeness of Relationship". In that case, a downward trend would be a positive thing.
In the twist, Cueball sees that he can do better than this woman and switches his position and decides he is going to break up with her.
Cueball has already broken up with people over graphs before (see 539: Boyfriend ). Ironically, he or a different Cueball gave a similar graph with vaguely-labelled axes in 523: Decline .
The title text points out the irony that if the axes had been labelled, then Cueball would be able to use it to determine exactly how much better a relationship he could get, since he could read how crappy the present one is. Yet he would lose the twist at the end, so that the graph data would have to convince him and not the lack of labels.
"Someone who doesn't label her axes" sounds like an inversion of "someone who labels her exes", which is an accusation sometimes levelled in break-up situations.
[Cueball and Megan are talking. Megan has a board.] Cueball: I think we should give it another shot. Megan: We should break up, and I can prove it.
[The second panel is the graph. A series of points moves steadily downward.] Our Relationship.
[Cueball looks at the graph.] Cueball: Huh.
Cueball: Maybe you're right. Megan: I knew data would convince you. Cueball: No, I just think I can do better than someone who doesn't label her axes.


Wikileaks

Explanation:
This comic references WikiLeaks , a site to which classified data can be sent for publication, while nobody would know who leaked the data.  Many people dislike WikiLeaks, but proponents claim that, since government is supposed to work for the people, all government information should be available to anyone who wants to see it. WikiLeaks' actions are illegal in most countries, and the people maintaining WikiLeaks stay anonymous, with the notable exception of Julian Assange , the spokesperson. Among the supporters of Wikileaks are the 4chan-based activism/hacker group Anonymous , who, for the week or so prior to this comic's release, used DDoS attacks to take down servers for companies that aided the governments of the world in taking down Wikileaks and its CEO, Julian Assange. Amazon, PayPal and MasterCard were all targets of Anonymous. The claim 'We are legion' is a reference to Mark chapter 5 in the Bible, in which Jesus throws out a group of demons that call themselves Legion, "for we are many."
The comic imagines an ironic scenario in which WikiLeaks, the organization Anonymous fought to protect, stays true to their mission of releasing secrets to the public, and publishes the personal information of Anonymous members. The joke in the comic notes a contradiction in Anonymous's position, relying on strict secrecy of its members' private information while supporting an anti-secrecy organization like WikiLeaks. This may be a reference to an incident in 2009 when WikiLeaks published a leaked list of some of their anonymous donors, following their then-policy of complete impartiality regarding leaks.
In theory, Anonymous consists of everyone who takes steps to remain anonymous, not merely the hackers and criminals. In practice, Julian would merely have to post a list of Wikileaks contributors.
The title text appears to be a news wire from during the Vietnam War when Lyndon B. Johnson was President in the United States. The students were calling to protest the War, in what xkcd implicates as the first DDoS attack. A DDoS attack is a Distributed Denial of Service attack, one of Anonymous' favorite tactics, in which the attackers send vast quantities of traffic from many different points to take down a web server, or, in the case of the title text, a phone network. Taken as a whole, the title text satirizes news reports in which a DDoS attack is confused with an actual hack, as only in the latter does the attacker gain (partial) access to the system itself.
[The logo of Anonymous (but without the question mark), a black formal suit with no head, is talking.] Anonymous: We are Anonymous. We are legion. We are no one and everyone. Anonymous: And we are here to fight for WikiLeaks.
[The panel is presented as the front page of WikiLeaks, in a browser.] New Leak: Names, addresses, IPs, and phone numbers of everyone in Anonymous. Download Now
Anonymous: ...Dammit, Julian.


Tree

Explanation:
Cueball turns his family's living room Christmas tree into a cringingly-awful programming pun. His parents, Hairbun and a father-Cueball, are so unamused, he's not welcome back next year.
Trees are data structures in computer science, based on two simple rules:
A binary tree is a tree where each node has spaces for exactly 2 children.
The "Christmas tree" is a basic representation of a binary tree - the star at the top is the root node, and the lights running down indicate the connections between parent and child. Contrary to what the terms "root" and "leaf" might imply, trees in computer science are typically represented upside-down, with the root on top and the leaves fanning out below.
The Christmas tree is constructed based on no apparent rules, but the main power of binary trees comes in organizing them according to specific rules. Because code that runs later can assume the data is organized in this specific way, it can use different algorithms that make things run faster. One way of doing this is with a heap. A heap is a special kind of tree (usually a binary tree, but in this case a quaternary tree), subject to one additional rule:
"Less than" in this case can refer to any comparison that can be made between two nodes - in this case, it's based on the size of the presents. Of course, there's a cost to all this; the heap must first be placed in that order. Not only that, but if a node gets removed from the heap, the heap has to be "rebuilt" to put it back in the right order. This is referenced in the title text - if Billy opens the root present, several comparisons must be done to shift other presents in its place to preserve the heap rule.
In 1308: Christmas Lights a similar strange Christmas tree has been constructed using the electromagnetic spectrum.
[There is a binary Christmas tree, with each node a ball, and lights strung between parent and child nodes. Beneath it is a heap of presents - sorted with the largest on top, smaller presents connected to it with string. Next to the tree is Cueball and his parents, Hairbun and another Cueball.] Cueball: It's a Christmas tree with a heap of presents underneath! Mother: ...We're not inviting you home next year.


Sickness

Explanation:
This comic was published 2 months after Randall 's then fiancée, now wife, was diagnosed with breast cancer (see Category:Cancer ), which is likely what inspired this comic - even though Cueball sounds like he is the one afflicted by the sickness. The comic is thus about the existential questions that might arise from such a crisis. The moral could be interpreted as that you shouldn't begrudge your fellow human being, regardless of where they find comfort.
Also, any sentence is instantly funny if, at the end of it, you address your audience as "bitches". It may also be a reference to 54: Science .
"Slings and arrows of fortune" is an allusion to the " To be, or not to be " soliloquy in William Shakespeare's Hamlet, Prince of Denmark . Hamlet asks himself whether it is "Nobler in the mind to suffer / The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune" (to resign oneself to one's fate and endure what may come), or to "take Arms against a Sea of troubles, / and by opposing end them" (to commit suicide and end suffering); he ultimately concludes that we would rather face the dangers and pains we know on Earth than whatever unknown new ones may come in the afterlife. Cueball appears to agree with Hamlet, thanking "the people who refused to gracefully accept the ineffability of reality": Religion and spirituality can give him the moral courage to face his death, but he'd much prefer to not die in the first place, and won't have to, thanks to medical and scientific innovation. (Actually he will have to eventually. Medical and scientific innovation simply delay the inevitable events of death and entropy.)
The title text is a pun based on Cueball's newfound confidence, asserting that his statement "because they work, bitches" has a 95% confidence interval.
[The three panels are arranged diagonally, upper left to bottom right.] [Two people, Cueball and White Hat, are walking past a tree.] White Hat: So, has this sickness opened you up to looking for answers beyond science? Cueball: ...no, not really.
[Cueball turns to face White Hat.] Cueball: We've groped for comfort before the slings and arrows of fortune for millennia, and I begrudge nobody their sources of solace. Cueball: But Science provides tools . Cueball: $100 billion a year in scientific studies and medical R&D has bought us some pretty damn powerful slings and arrows of our own. Cueball: This world is amazing, and I'm going to live to experience more of it thanks to people who refused to gracefully accept the ineffability of reality. Cueball: I find my courage where I can, but I take my weapons from science.
Cueball: Because they work , bitches.


Coupon Code

Explanation:
Some online stores allow you to enter a coupon code for a discount on one of their products. Coupon codes may be a single, simple word related to the product or seller or a complex sequence of characters.
In this comic, Cueball is buying something online, and he comes across the option to use a coupon code for a discount before checking out. Instead of entering a coupon code, which is often a random sequence of numbers and letters, he chooses to enters a long and detailed blackmail message in the normally short coupon code form, hoping that blackmail could scare the seller and serve the way a coupon code would. This works so well that, instead of just receiving a small discount on the items he bought, Cueball is discounted the full price of the product he's buying.
The humor comes from the fact that Cueball's intimidation works as if the online seller checking the coupon codes was an actual person, and not a computer, which is how coupon codes are checked. In addition, his blackmail message was far too detailed and specific that it could only be used on a certain person and would have virtually no chance of succeeding, unless he knows the seller so well that he even knows about crimes he did secretly.
The title text references 325: A-Minus-Minus ; it has become a running gag that bobcats are occasionally sent by mail by Black Hat in various comics. By blackmailing the seller, it is unlikely that the seller will want to antagonize Cueball by sending him something that may lead to his injury.
[The panel shows an online shopping form.] Shipping: $14.08 Total: $80.02 If you have a coupon code, enter it here: [An empty form.] Check out
[In a frameless panel, Cueball is looking at his computer.]
[The empty form is now filled in. The rest of the panel shows the same page.] Form: In 1987, you quietly took something from the house of a dying woman. You thought nobody knew. You were wrong.
[Cueball is sitting at his computer.] Click
[The form is updated.] Shipping: $14.08 Total: $80.02 ---------------- Discount Applied: -$80.02 Final price: $0.00 Thank you -Your order has been placed-


Incident

Explanation:
This comic was posted on Christmas Eve . While Christmas is principally a Christian holiday, celebrating the birth of Jesus on December 25, there are many traditions around it, among them a tradition that on Christmas Eve Santa Claus will make his round delivering gifts to good children.
Rob sits behind a UNIX computer and tried to change his user account from his normal access to the access of a super user by using the command " sudo su ". Sudo is a famous phrase in xkcd lore, made famous by comic 149: Sandwich . Before allowing administrator access (as root user), it asks for a password. The field is blank because, in most UNIX systems, the characters of the password are not shown. When Rob is unable to use the command his account is not authorized and the system says that the incident "will be reported" (usually to the system administrator, so they can see if someone is making repeated attempts at accessing administrator privileges).
In the comic, however, sudo and the system report the incidents to Santa Claus , who, in Christmas lore, makes a list of who is naughty and who is nice. If you are nice then you get presents, while if you are naughty, you get a lump of coal. When sudo reports to Santa that Rob's account is not authorized, he puts Rob on the naughty list.
In the title text, which is a parody of the famous Christmas song, "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town", /var/spool/mail/root is the root (superuser) mailbox on a Linux system, where the incident described in the comic would commonly be reported to.
[Rob is sitting at a computer. The computer's prompt is shown.]
[Megan approaches.] Rob: Hey — who does sudo report these "incidents" to ? Megan: You know, I've never checked.
[Santa Claus is sitting at a desk supported by candy canes, with a red monitor. On the wall are two lists labeled 'naughty' and 'nice'. He is in the process of adding a line to the 'naughty' list.]


Explorers

Explanation:
This comic blends board games such as chess , The Settlers of Catan , and Battleship , with exploration , making possible references to space exploration and the Age of Discovery .
The typical representation of explorers has them travel from their homeland aboard a ship to unknown distant places. The travel can get very long, implying the need for food supplies on the ship; and the fact that the crew members have to live together with little room (the ship) for such a long time, with possibilities of failure, getting lost or dying for various reasons, can often lead to tensions between some of them. In the Age of Exploration the explorers were mainly sailors from Europe traveling on the sea to other continents, whereas in space exploration they are astronauts or robots from Earth traveling in space to other planets (or whatever celestial bodies), but the general concepts of exploration remain the same.
Here the explorers are two chess pieces, a knight and a bishop; they have left their "home board", presumably a full 8x8 chess board, aboard a smaller "capsule" made of a small 3x3 chess board in motion.  It could be drifting in the sea; rolling along a hard surface on wheels or casters, as indicated by the small circles by each corner; or flying through space with the circles as rockets.  The drawing is somewhat ambiguous.  They are apparently headed for a Settlers of Catan board, and already passed near a Battleship board, so these game boards are like islands or regions which the chess pieces explore, coming from a chess board.
Ba3, Nc3 and Ke5 are the identification of chess pieces and their respective position: Ba3 is a bishop on the A3 square, Nc3 a knight on the C3 square, and Ke5 a king on the E5 square. Chess is pretty much a representation of the structure of medieval European society (with the king and queen being the most crucial pieces, the bishops representing the somewhat powerful clergy, the knights corresponding to the armies, the rook alluding the castles, and the pawns being, as the medieval working classes, the most numerous and disposable assets); so chess pieces exploring other places, approaching the "coast of Catan", and reporting to the king ("calling Ke5"), is reminiscent of explorers from Europe who under their king's jurisdiction set sail to other continents during the Age of Exploration.
The explorers are communicating with a " mission control ", which is common in space exploration. Also, an "ETA" is an estimated time of arrival .
In chess, the knight and the bishop have different move constraints. The knight can only move two squares horizontally and one square vertically, or two vertically and one horizontally, so on the capsule the knight explorer can only go from one corner square to a black square, or vice-versa. The bishop can only move diagonally, so this bishop is bound to move only on the white squares. The knight is also the only piece that can "jump" over other pieces, which seems to annoy the bishop, hence the "hopping around"; apparently the bishop put all the food onto the middle square, which the knight can't reach, because the knight was taunting him about his not being able to get onto a black square.
The two pieces are from the opposite chess camps (one black and the other white). This can be a reference to multinational space mission crews, where formerly opponent nations joined their efforts on space missions. But in chess it also means they can capture each other, by getting on the square where the other stands. Here, with the chess turn-by-turn gameplay, the knight won't be able to capture the bishop (except of course in case of error or dumb move), since the bishop will always be able to escape, whereas the bishop is actually one or two moves away from capturing the knight. So saying that he's "this close" to capturing him is a play on words, he is "this close" as in a few moves away, as well as "this close" as in severely annoyed and about to act on it.
Assuming it’s the bishop’s turn this capture could be accomplished by the Bishop moving to C1, there after the knight would be forced to move to either A2 or B1. The Bishop then moves to B2. The knight then must move to C1 or C3 if it moved to A2, or A3 or C3 if it moved to B1 – all valid positions from which the Bishop could capture. If it’s the knights turn, the situation is the same except the Bishop would simply move to B2 regardless of the knight move.
Finally, the title text adds two jokes. The Settlers of Catan board has an hexagonal grid, which means the chess pieces will have difficulty to move on it, since they are used to moving on a square grid. This can draw a parallel with explorers facing, in distant lands, weather conditions, wild animals, atmosphere or whatever condition, to which they are not used at all in their homeland. Battleship is a game where players send shots on the opponent's board, which is why the chess capsule received shots when it passed within firing range of a Battleship board; in pure chess style, it's the pawns of the crew, the least valuable and most disposable chess pieces, who took the shots.  It could also be a reference to the en passant chess move, where, under certain conditions, a pawn can be captured after having "passed within firing range" (so to speak) of an enemy pawn; this could explain why only the pawns were lost in passing Battleship.
[A black bishop, Ba3, and a white knight, Nc3, are on a three by three chessboard. Both are on white squares. There is a heap of supplies at b2, also a white square. The chessboard is mounted on rockets and appears to be flying through the air.] Ba3: Mission Control, come in. This is Ba3 on the capsule calling Ke5 on the home board. We're on track and approaching the Coast of Catan. Our ETA is— Nc3: Control, this is Nc3. Bishop put all our food in the center so I can't get it. I demand— Ba3: Control, knight will get his food back when he stops hopping around bragging about how comfy the black squares are. I swear to God, I'm this close to capturing him and completing the misson alone.


Serious

Explanation:
This comic is a play on words with the child's putty known as " Silly Putty ", which is "silly" because it likes to be played with. Whereas Serious Putty does not even liked to be touched.
As it says in the title text PuTTY is a Windows Terminal client. Impact is a font that is distributed with Windows that is used in the vast majority of " meme " image macros, such as lolcat pictures.
[Cueball is standing next to a table. There is a can on the table.]
[The label on the can reads, "Serious Putty".]
[Cueball is looking at the table again.]
[He reaches out to touch the can. The can speaks.] Can: Don't touch me.


Audiophiles

Explanation:
Cueball is buying some new speakers for his television, and asks Megan if they have the right cord to hook them up. Megan begins chiding him for using "crappy laptop speakers", i.e. low-powered, low-quality speakers that don't faithfully reproduce the sound.
Cueball and Megan reproduce the two extremes of the arguments: Cueball simply wants to play a first-person shooter video game (whose soundtrack will either be obscured by gunfire or completely absent during gameplay), regardless of the sound quality, whereas Megan, the audiophile, values music everywhere. Cueball seems to think that's unnecessary, and Megan snipes back that he's never heard beauty, so he wouldn't know; after all, he thinks low-bit-rate re-encodings from YouTube (at the time, notorious for dodgy sound quality) are perfectly fine music. Cueball, frustrated with Megan's perfectionism, states that he's just going to buy cheap 5-watt speakers. While 5 watts may be a lot if you're trying to fill the immediate area with sound from your MP3 player, it'd sound tiny and hollow coming out of a television across the room. An incredulous Megan protests, calling his ideas "a joke." An exasperated Cueball tells a lightbulb joke , the content of which implies that the content doesn't matter to her, only the quality in which it's delivered to her ear. Megan promptly hangs up because of the bad joke (or possibly because of the bad audio quality?).
The title text is referring to a forum post from audioholics.com (post #29, "We gathered up a 5 [sic] of our audio buddies...."), where a user did a blind audio test using Monster cable and coat hangers with soldered on alligator clips, and the audiophiles were unable to discern any difference. Randall instead just uses coat-hangers to connect his speakers, not getting that the point of the test was not to extol the high transmission quality of coat hanger wire but to lampoon the belief that supposedly high-quality speaker cables make an audible difference in the audio output.
[Cueball and Megan are talking over the telephone. The first two panels are split diagonally. Cueball is at a store, holding a box, and Megan is consulting with him.] Cueball: Do we have an RCA-to-3.5mm female-female plug? I'm getting some speakers for the new Xbox, since the monitor doesn't have any. Megan: Are they crappy laptop speakers? Ugh.
[Cueball is standing next to a sale rack.] Cueball: Does it matter? I just want to hear if I'm getting shot at, not savor every detail of a beautiful musical soundscape. Megan: You've never heard a beautiful musical soundscape. You listen to 96kbps flv rips from YouTube.
[Megan is walking.] Cueball: Whatever. I'm just going to get these $20 speakers. Five watts will be plenty. Megan: Five watts for a living room sound system? Is that a joke?
[Zoomed in panel on Cueball]: Cueball: No, this is a joke: How many audiophiles does it take to change a lightbulb? Megan: How many? Cueball: I'll tell you later—you wouldn't appreciate the punchline over this 12kbps cell phone codec. click


Mark

Explanation:
In this comic, Science Girl asks Cueball about a mark on his arm. He apparently believes he is part of a secret society, so secret that he doesn't know anything about the society. His belief in the existence of the society, and that he is a part of it, stem from one contact with an 'agent'. Most people would immediately dismiss the idea of such a secret society, especially with no evidence of its existence, and no knowledge of the goals or even whether it is inherently good or evil.
Six years after being 'chosen', Cueball finds the scrap of paper with an address on it, and the can of kerosene . Both of these events are not unlikely, and easily explained as simple coincidences, but Cueball somehow sees this as a command that he must burn down the house. Cueball shows that he is willing to put other people's lives at risk, destroy property and possessions, and face the possibility of prison, all because of one event six years prior.
Cueball's belief in the society, his delusional linking of the address and kerosene, and his actions in burning down the house, show how badly he wants to be part of something bigger, and to find meaning in the "Chaos of Life".
The punchline refers to an old grade school/middle school prank (Urban Dictionary: pen 15 club , Pen 15 .) You'd typically walk up to an unsuspecting schoolmate and ask them if he wants to join the Pen Fifteen Club. You'd tell them that to join, you merely have to write the club name on them. You'd then write "PEN15" on their hand or arm, and everyone would laugh at them because it looks like "PENIS". (In a common variant, it is simply called the Pen Club, 15 is the victim's "member number", and the pranksters write "PEN13" and "PEN14" on themselves.) In this case, Cueball fell victim to this prank as a child without ever figuring out the joke, and the ink somehow never got washed off by showers or baths or removed by shedding skin. In reality, it would be unlikely for such a mark to last for so long. While methods of making someone's skin more permanently do exist, it is hard to imagine someone tattooing or branding "PEN15" on their friend's arm as a prank.
As for the title text, solipsism is the philosophical idea that only your own mind is sure to exist while other minds can't be really known and so those other minds are not proved to be real. In this context it might mean that the only one who can conspire would be you, hiding the truth from yourself.
[Cueball and Science Girl are talking.] Science Girl: What's that on your arm? Cueball: The mark of a secret society.
Science Girl: If it's secret, why tell me- Cueball: Because I know nothing. I can't betray them because I don't know who they are. I was chosen by an agent 20 years ago. That was my first and last direct contact. Cueball: It's safer that way.
Six years later I found a piece of paper in the street with an address on it. The next day I found a can of kerosene in my garage that I'm sure I never bought. [The panel represents these actions by highlighting the mentioned objects in a world of gray.]
I didn't know whose house it was. I just knew that I'd been given my orders. And I carried them out. [A dark figure holding the kerosene is silhouetted against a flame.]
Cueball: I don't know who or what we're fighting. Cueball: Maybe we're the bad guys. Cueball: It doesn't matter to me.
Cueball: It's enough to know that there are forces working beneath the chaos of life, and I'm a part of them.
Cueball: That whatever this "Pen Fifteen" club is, Cueball: I'm in it.


Misconceptions

Explanation:
The Wikipedia article List of common misconceptions gives a list of commonly-repeated anecdotes that are widely believed to be true, but actually are not.
The teacher, Miss Lenhart , is announcing that since it is the first Tuesday in February , by law and custom the reading of this article is requirement to stem the repetition of these incorrect anecdotes. (Funnily enough the comic was released the first Wednesday in January, which could just as well have been written in the comic).
She continues to make it clear that this is to make the students in general a little less wrong, and the main outcome will be that the guest of any future parties the students ever attend, will not have to listen to them retell these misconceptions and for that these guest will thank those who have decided on this new law in advance.
In the caption below the comic Randall expresses his wishes that he lived in a parallel universe where this rule had been used for many years. So he would not have to listen to all these stories at every party he goes to. Since Randall likes to correct people if they are wrong (see 386: Duty Calls ), not having to discuss with those that believe these misconceptions, would make his parties much better.
The title text refers to a specific one of these false stories about glass :
That glass , while seeming solid, is actually an extremely viscous liquid and will flow over time, as is seen on older buildings where the window panes are thicker at the bottom.
In reality, older manufacturing processes did not produce glass panes with as uniform thickness as modern processes, and people tended to install the uneven panes with the thicker side at the bottom for stability. Glass simply does not flow at room temperature; it's more viscous than solid lead by a factor of over a billion . The fact that glass is solid at room temperature was again referenced in a foot note, under the pipe with glass, in 1649: Pipelines .
[Miss Lenhart the teacher is standing in front of a board, looking at a laptop computer she is holding in one hand while elocuting.] Miss Lenhart: Okay, middle school students, it's the first Tuesday in February. Miss Lenhart: This means that by law and custom, we must spend the morning reading through the Wikipedia article List of Common Misconceptions , so you can spend the rest of your lives being a little less wrong. Miss Lenhart: The guests at every party you'll ever attend thank us in advance.
[Caption below the panel:] I wish I lived in this universe.


Good Code

Explanation:
The comic references the common meme of programmers that one can't actually write good code. Either the code is done quickly with shoddy "code style", weak logical structure, or any number of other kludges and hacks which turn maintenance of the code into a nightmare; or else it is written well and beautifully structured, but can never be completed before changes in the situation cause the original code design to be insufficient for one or multiple reasons.
Either situation eventually leads to the need to completely start from scratch, designing and writing the program's code all over again. Of course, the writing of this new program is also locked in the perpetual cycle of choosing between ugly/bad code that works marginally well, or good/pretty code that never gets completed before being obsolete.
Additionally, the humorous point is being further emphasized for the primary target audience, programmers, by using an infinite loop - or more precisely, 2 possible loops and 1 forced loop in the flowchart itself.
Also, of particular note, is the fact that Randall (the author) drives home the point of the inescapability of the infinite loop(s) by the use of the additional, disconnected, and logically unreachable portion of the flowchart. This disconnect points out that the only way to actually get to "Good Code" using the flow chart would be to follow a path of actions — which does not start at the prescribed place — for which there is only an unknown and possibly unknowable starting action which no one has ever discovered previously. Other flowchart comics, several of which are also infinite loops, can be found here .
The title text, "You can either hang out in the Android Loop or the HURD loop," makes a dig at both communities: claiming that Android developers always opt for fast, ugly code, necessitating frequent fixes and updates, while Hurd developers perennially choose to "do the job right" but can therefore never seem to finish their project.
The GNU Hurd Project aims to create the kernel for the GNU Operating System (the kernel being the central and most indispensable component). The GNU Project is most famous these days as a result of GNU/Linux (commonly called just "Linux"), which is an operating system that uses the Linux kernel with the GNU system environment. From the beginning the GNU Project has planned to design their own kernel, the Hurd , virtually from scratch, and given a relatively clean slate with which to work, elected to employ a number of promising and theoretically elegant design concepts . Despite or, as Randall suggests, because of this, the Hurd has been mired in development hell for many years (for decades, in fact) with little progress towards actual usability outside of a small community of kernel hackers. While runnable GNU/Hurd operating systems do exist, they're still basically experimental, and the Hurd remains a collection of research software the design goalposts for which keep receding as other, more pragmatically-engineered technologies continue to be developed (the Linux kernel itself being the canonical first instance of this).
Finally, the official transcript of this comic is itself somewhat humorous (an additional inside joke , if you will) in that it converts the flowchart into a simple list of instructions (aka pseudo-code) using numbered lines as reference points for identifying which instruction to read and follow next. This process is basically identical to the oft-maligned programming technique of using so-called " goto loops ." — Furthermore, there is also a slight cross-reference between infinite loops and goto loops which is probably being referenced, in that goto loops are often criticized (whether accurately or not) as being more likely to create unintended infinite loops in code... primarily because of the difficulty inherent in keeping track of possible entry and exit paths, especially when making edits to the code at a later time.
[The comic is a flowchart In order to explain this in text, follow the line numbers. Options follow on new lines without numbers.] How to write good code. [10.] Start Project. [Go to 20.]
[20.] Do things right or do them fast? Fast [Go to 30.] Right [Go to 40.]
[30.] Code fast. [Go to 35.]
[35.] Does it work yet? No [Go to 30.] Almost, but it's become a mass of kludges and spaghetti code. [Go to 50.]
[40.] Code well. [Go to 45.]
[45.] Are you done yet? No. [Go to 40.] No, and the requirements have changed. [Go to 50.]
[50.] Throw it all out and start over. [Go to 10.]
[60.] ? [Go to 70.]
[70.] Good code.


Modern History

Explanation:
War reenactment is a hobby in which people act out a battle from some previous time period. Theoretical "real-time" war reenactment takes this one step further by having someone act out a war that is actually happening at the time. This would be annoying for the actual soldiers, as it would be hard to do your job if someone was right behind you imitating (and distracting) you. It would also be hard for the reenactor to get to the war zone without getting killed or detained.
The title text refers to how someone would research the character that someone would play in a normal war reenactment for a more enjoyable and accurate reenactment. Once again, the title text makes a real-time version of this, having someone actually live the life of the real-time fighter. This is not a good idea for several reasons. [ citation needed ]
[Warzone. A soldier in modern American combat gear holding a rifle turns to face Cueball, who is wearing an ersatz copy of the same uniform and clutching a wooden rifle.] Sound effect: BLAM BLAM Sound effect: KABOOM Soldier: Will you please stop imitating everything I do? Cueball: Will you please stop... My Hobby: real time war reenactment.


Dental Nerve

Explanation:
Ke$ha is a pop/rap singer, and this strip refers to her 2009-10 hit single " Tik Tok ." The song begins with the following lyrics, of which the title text is a parody:
Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack 'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back.
A "bottle of Jack" refers to the Jack Daniel's brand of whiskey.
The strip depicts Megan warning Ke$ha not to neglect dental hygiene by using whiskey instead of toothpaste to freshen her breath, due to the severe pain that could result if she let the nerves in her teeth become infected. The title text displays dental-hygiene-friendly lyrics, with emphasis on certain syllables (as all-caps) to imitate the rhythm of the original song.
Megan: Dear Ke$ha,
Megan: It's hard to describe the pain of a deeply infected dental nerve.
[Megan putting her hands in a bowl.] Megan: To get an idea, put your hands in a bowl full of ice cubes. Hold them there for 90 seconds.
Megan: Now imagine that pain in your jaw, every minute of every hour, bright and searing, washing out everything. You can't party all night. You can barely stand up. There's only the pain.
Megan: So, some friendly advice: When you wake up in the morning, before you brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack,
Megan: Brush them with actual toothpaste.


Stingray Nebula

Explanation:
The Stingray Nebula , in the constellation Ara , is the youngest known planetary nebula in the galaxy. It was formed by an asymptotic giant branch (AGB) B1 supergiant , which blasted out the gas while becoming a white dwarf in 1987. Well, it happened about 18,000 years ago, but the light of the incident reached the Earth in 1987.
This comic went from a reassuring comic about stars at night giving hope in the darkness, but then as with most xkcd's, it took a turn.  In this case, the twist is that because Cueball 's star he got attached to exploded into a nebula, we should only become attached to stars that aren't quite as volatile as the one that formed the Stingray Nebula.
While talking about his star, Cueball shares with his friend a quote from the Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King , the third installment in J.R.R. Tolkien's epic fantasy series. Sam and his friend Frodo were forced to travel through Mordor , a land of fire and death, to destroy the malevolent One Ring . The journey's hardship took a psychological toll on each of them.
Cueball compares his struggles as a kid, and his friend's struggles in the present, to Sam and Frodo's arduous journey through Mordor. Both he and Sam were able to find beauty and solace in the glimmering of some distant light. By attaching their hopes, woes and feelings to this small point of hope, they both get a sense of perspective and comfort in the fact that there is beauty in a greater sense before them.
The title text ties into the Tolkien quote. Eärendil , with a Silmaril strapped to his ship, Vingilot, is the Tolkienian myth explanation for the planet Venus , which has historically been mistaken for a star due to its brightness, being known as the "morning star" or "evening star". Venus will eventually (in billions of years time) be engulfed by the sun's expansion into a red giant. The source of Sam's comfort is also temporary in the long term.
[Cueball and his Cueball-like friend to the left is shown as white silhouettes against a dark sky. They're sitting on top of a grassy hill also shown inverted as white.] Cueball: I know things are tough right now. When I was going through some difficult times as a kid, I would go up on the roof and look through my telescope.
[Zoom in on the twos white heads and upper torso only.] Cueball: One day I found a tiny star in Ara that seemed friendly. Cueball: There were millions like it, but I decided that this one was mine.
[Zoom in only on Cueball's head and torso.] Cueball: When things got bad, I'd go find that star, and think of my favorite Tolkien quote. It's from Sam's time in Mordor.
[The next panel is diagonally downward to the right of the previous. The upper left corner overlaps. A single star is shown above the highest peak in a jagged chain of mountains with at least five other large peaks and several smaller ones. Above the star in the black sky is a long quote.] "There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the shadow was only a small and passing thing: There was light and high beauty forever beyond its reach." — The Return of the K in g
[Back to normal panels below the quote panel. Larger zoom than in panel two both showing the same of the two.] Friend: That's comforting! Cueball: It was rather undercut in 1987, when the light from my star's explosion reached Earth. The debris forms the Stingray Nebula.
[Zooming further out even than the first panel, showing more of the grassy mound below the two.] Friend: There's probably a lesson there. Cueball: "Never trust an unstable asymptotic giant branch star. Stick with main sequences and dwarfs." Friend: I'll, uh, keep that in mind.


3D

Explanation:
String theory hypothesizes that there are many more than 3 dimensions , it's just that we can't see the rest because they're "rolled up." A common metaphor is an ant on a tightrope — it has two degrees of freedom, one along the rope and one around it, but from far away we can only see one.
So Black Hat released his 2D movie about string theory in "3D", and claimed that the third dimension was there — just too small to see.
The title text refers to a linear particle accelerator , or "LINAC", which is used to create high-energy particles. Incidentally, the glasses give their particles one mega-electronvolt (symbol MeV ) of energy, which is not particularly high for a particle accelerator. The title text suggests that such moviegoers should try the accelerators at the European Organization for Nuclear Research, CERN , since they are widely known for producing the highest energies in the millions of MeV, and thus have the best chance of unraveling the small dimensions of string theory.
On the xk3d prank site created along with 880: Headache , the 3D on this comic is not visible.
[People are lined up to see a movie.] Premiering Tonight: String Theory: An Exposé Presented In 3D!
[The people are in a dark theater, fiddling with their glasses.] ???
[The people angrily approach black hat, who's sitting at a desk.] Megan: Your movie was a ripoff. Cueball: It wasn't 3D at all! Black Hat: Was too. Black Hat: It's just that the third dimension is tightly rolled up and too small to observe at normal energies.


Complex Conjugate

Explanation:
This was the second comic with one of Randall's fun facts .
This comic is a joke on the phrase "Shit just got real", which means "something has suddenly increased in difficulty and become genuinely challenging or dangerous".
Cueball is standing in front of a board delivering a lesson, and is about to multiply a wavefunction by its complex conjugate. A wave function is a mathematical description of a quantum system which uses complex values - numbers that have both a real part and an imaginary part. Multiplying a wavefunction by its complex conjugate is a common thing to do, as it yields the probability density of where a particle is likely to be found, which is a real-valued function.
Complex numbers can be written in the form a + bi, where a is the real part and bi is the imaginary part. i is the imaginary unit, defined so that i² = -1. The complex conjugate of a complex number simply reverses the sign on the imaginary part - so for the number above, the complex conjugate is a - bi.
Multiplying the complex number by its own complex conjugate therefore yields (a + bi)(a - bi). If you multiply out the brackets, you get a² + abi - abi - b²i². The abi cancel each other out, and i² can be replaced by -1. Thus, the result is a² + b², a real number, so "shit just got real" as Cueball promised.
The title text notes that you can make this joke in class every time a calculation is performed that drops the imaginary part from a complex number, but warns that it would be so annoying that the professor will eventually find a way to have the class without you in it. Because nonreal numbers are often considered to have no physical significance, turning them into real numbers to produce a final answer is so common that this joke would quickly become tedious.
The wave function shown on Cueball's board is the time-dependent Schrödinger equation , a differential equation that the wavefunction Ψ, which determines the possible positions of a quantum particle over time, always satisfies. The derivative should be written with ∂Ψ on the top; the omission of the Ψ may be a mistake.
[Cueball, holding a marker pen down in one hand, is standing at a whiteboard with two equations, one of which is the time-dependent Schrodinger equation and the other shows what the wavefunction equals, but from there it becomes unreadable. Below is a graph with a bell-shaped curve. There are also other unreadable markings on the board below the second equation and next to the graph.] Cueball: Okay, anyone who's feeling like they can't handle the physics here should probably just leave now.
[In a frame-less panel Cueball is seen writing on the whiteboard. This is seen from the side of the board, so it is just a thin line with a shelf at the bottom for putting the pen on.] Cueball: Because I'm multiplying the wavefunction by its complex conjugate. Cueball: That's right.
[Dramatic zoom in on Cueball appears to be writing the final part of his next equation.] Cueball: Shit just got real .


World According to Americans

Explanation:
There's a somewhat well-circulated image on the internet entitled " The World According to Americans " which plays on the stereotype of the ignorant American. In it, the entirety of Eastern Europe and most of Asia are entitled "commies" and the Middle-East as "evil-doers," and so on. Later, other people created similar maps to re-do the concept. It later spread to other cultures.
This comic is an anti-joke playing on that idea. You expect to see something which plays on the stereotypes that exist in American culture of various parts of the world. However, instead, the map is remarkably well-informed, and shows how sampling bias can be used to conflate results. See below the table of items in the map .
The title text jokes that in fact the only reason that the map is fairly well annotated is that the group of people labeling it were actually on the way back from a geography bee . This could add weight to the 'Ignorant American' stereotype as these individuals should know more than the common person, implying that if even apparent geography buffs use vague labels such as "rest of South America" and "various former Soviet states" instead of using more detailed labels, the average American must be even less geographically knowledgeable (Although, as the illustrators wrote below Cape Horn, the reason they did not draw Antarctica or many South American, Middle Eastern and British countries and the lack of detail may be because the people who asked them to draw this map were beginning to 'look impatient' since they did not get the expected ignorant result.)
A landlocked country is a country that does not border any major bodies of water. Furthering the concept, a doubly-landlocked country is a country that not only has no connection to water, but is only bordered by other landlocked countries. As the title text states, there are only two such countries in the world as of 2012: Uzbekistan and Liechtenstein . This is the type of fact that may be stereotypically expected of a geography bee competitor.
THE WORLD According to a Group of AMERICANS who turned out to be unexpectedly good at geography, derailing our attempt to illustrate their country's attitude toward the rest of the world.
[Left to right, up to down.]
[North of Canada.] Hey so what projection should we use? I'll aim for "Robinson."
[North America.] Alaska; Canada; Hudson Bay; Québec; United States Did you know Maine is actually the US state closest to Africa?; Bermuda (British!)
[Central America.] Baja California (Mexico); Mexico; Central America; Panama Canal; Gulf of Mexico; Cuba; Hispañola; POR.; Jamaica Do we have to label all the Virgin Islands?
[South America.] Rest of South America (spanish-speaking); Brazil (portugese-speaking); French, and I think Dutch and English; Tierra del Fuego
[Greenland.] Greenland (still too big!); Yeah but the Peters map is awful; Iceland
[Europe.] British Isles; Ireland ; Gibralter; Scandanavia; Western Europe; Eastern Europe; Black sea; Middle East
[Africa.] Morocco; Algera; Sahara Desert; West Africa; Sudan; Rainforest DRC; Lake Victoria; Somalia; Angola; Mozambique; South Africa; Cape Horn; Madagascar
[West of DRC.] So this is one of those things where you point out our ignorance and stereotypes? Yeah – I mean, I freely admit I don't know the African map very well, which speaks volumes in itself.
[West Asia.] Russia; Aral sea (Gone); Various former Soviet states; Afghanistan & Pakistan; India; Mostly Muslim; Mostly Hindu
[Indian Ocea.] Sri Lanka; Boxing Day Quake Wait, "Boxing day"? There's no way you're American. I read BBC News, OK?
[East Asia.] Mongolia; Tibet (contested); China; Southeast Asia
[Pacific Ocean.] Kamchatka Pennisula, but I admit I only know this one from Risk. Koreas; Japan, duh.; Taiwan (actually called "The Republic of China." – it's complicated.); Phillipines; Malaysia; Indonesia; Sulawesi; Paupa New Guinea; Australia; Tasmania; New Zealand
[South of Africa.] Should we include Antarctica? Let's not – these guys are looking impatient.


Explanation:
The repetition of the syllable "na" is often used to sing a tune without using any of the actual words. While this is normally done to practice or demonstrate a tune, repeated "na"s are also a part of some songs' lyrics, as shown in this comic. Following the various paths of the diagram forms the words of several well-known tunes, with each song branching off after the appropriate number of "na"s.
The top entry refers to the song " Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye ," originally recorded by Steam . The tune is often sung by the home fans of American sporting events at the end of a victory as a means of taunting the away team.
The left bottom entry refers to the theme song of the '60s TV show Batman .
The middle bottom entry refers to the theme song of the video game Katamari Damacy , which was also the cause of the Accident in comic 161.
The right bottom entry refers to the song " Land of a Thousand Dances ," originally recorded by Chris Kenner . The title text jokes that the tune's incessant repetition of "na" has annoyed Randall to the point that he does not have the patience to listen to the whole song.
There are likely countless other songs that uses "Na Na Na" as part of the lyrics. Some will be more popular than others. A very popular song that goes: Naaa Naaa Naaa Na Na Na Naaa, Na Na Na Naaaa, Hey Jude was left out. Hey Jude must have been brought to Randall's attention after this comic was released, as he made a comment about it in the comic header the day after this comic was released, see Trivia below.
This is one of many flowchart comics. A full list can be found here .
[A flowchart with 11 similar boxes on a line connected with arrows. After 8 there is two branches, one up (with three boxes above the rest of the 11 boxes) and one down to one box. After 10 there is one branch down to a larger box with two lines, and after that the last arrow is longer before reaching the last and 11th box. From this box there is an arrow that loops around to the last box again. This arrow is labeled.] Na → Na → Na → Na → Na → Na → Na → Na → Na → Na → Na Up 8 branch:→ Hey → Hey → Goodbye Down 8 branch:→ Batman! Down 10 branch:→ Katamari Damacy! Loop: Land of 1,000 Dances
I can't believe I forgot Hey Jude. I don't get do-overs, but I couldn't resist making a fixed version .
Protip: m.xkcd.com is a clean, mobile-friendly version of xkcd.com. Protip: Scripts can fetch comics and metadata automatically.


Local g

Explanation:
Cueball explains in the first panel, that the centrifugal force (not be confused with the centripetal force , which is made clear in 123: Centrifugal Force , cited in the first frame of this comic) along with variations in the earth's shape causes the gravitational force to vary by half a percent between some cities. These variations could have a significant effect on certain sporting events; for example, Cueball explains that a pole vaulter might jump 2 cm higher in a city with a smaller gravitational force.
So Cueball writes an article reevaluating pole vaulting world records based on the city in which the record was accomplished. His article suggests that some athletes should not have received an award for breaking a record because they did so in a city with a below-average gravitational force. These pole vaulters whose records were questioned by Cueball's article angrily stage a protest outside of Cueball's apartment.
Then Cueball proceeds to taunt them reasoning that they can't harm him because his building is locked. Cueball and Megan then hear a crash indicating that the protesters have managed to reach the apartment's balcony. When Cueball asks out loud how the pole vaulters reached the balcony, Megan stares at him for a moment and then he realizes the stupidity of that question: the pole vaulters pole-vaulted onto the balcony.
In the title text Randall explains that in fact the gravity force at the Olympic Games at Rio de Janeiro in 2016 compared to London in 2012 will make a difference of more than one centimeter, mainly because Rio de Janeiro is much closer to the equator than London resulting in an increased centrifugal, or, perhaps centripetal if you prefer to be more contrasting, force.
[Cueball is sitting at a desk, working, with a a laptop in front of him. Megan is behind him. Cueball has turned his head to talk to Megan] Cueball: Did you know that because of centrifugal * force and the shape of the Earth, "gravity" can vary by nearly half a percent between major cities? * Yes, centrifugal. xkcd.com/123
[Closeup on Cueball, who is looking down at some notes.] Cueball: That's not a lot, but it could affect, say, pole vaulting. In a 5m jump, it could make a difference of 2cm.
[Zoomed out on Cueball, who is typing on his laptop. Megan is behind him, with her hand on her chin.] Megan: Huh, interesting. Cueball: I'm going to write an article reevaluating vaulting records to take this into account.
Three days later: [Cueball is sitting in an armchair. Megan is behind him, and is pointing behind her.] Megan: Good job. There's an angry mob of athletes outside.
[Cueball looks off the balcony. A mob of athletes is out of frame.] Athlete: That record was mine! Athlete: How dare you cast doubt on our honor? Athlete: Have you no respect ?! Athlete: Make him pay! Cueball: Hey, the math doesn't lie. Suck it, jocks.
[Megan stands next to Cueball, who is walking away to the right] Megan: Dude, don't provoke them. Cueball: Whatever. The building's locked. Let 'em vent for a- crash Off-panel Athlete: GET HIM!
[Megan stands next to Cueball. They are both in shock. Megan has her hand on her mouth.] Cueball: Crap! Cueball: How did the pole vaulters get up to our balcony?
[Beat frame with only Megan. Cueball is out of frame.] Megan: ...
[Beat frame with just Cueball.]
[Zoom in on Megan and Cueball, who is facepalming.] Megan: That might be the stupidest question I've ever heard. Cueball: Right.


Consecutive Vowels

Explanation:
After running some analysis on a database, Cueball shows Megan a chart depicting the relationship between sexual arousal and consecutive vowels, showing that a high amount of consecutive vowels is linked to higher sexual arousal. At first, it could be theorised to be due to drawn out moans or screams during lovemaking and orgasm (Ooooh! Yeeeees!).
Megan says she doesn't get it, but Cueball interrupts her with "queueing", a word with 5 consecutive vowels. This immediately arouses Megan, who grabs Cueball and shouts "FUCK ME NOW." It turns out that the consecutive vowels themselves appear to cause arousal, rather than arousal causing the use of consecutive vowels.
The title text shows that Cueball is fearful that there may be a voyeur peeking at them, but as "voyeur" has 4 consecutive vowels because "y" is a vowel in this case, Cueball gets turned on as well.
[Megan stands at the left while Cueball comes from right holding up a chart.] Cueball: I was running a factor analysis on this huge database, and check out what it found:
[An xy-graph plotting "sexual arousal" against "consecutive vowels." The trendline through the dots is a smooth exponential increasing curve.]
[Frameless panel:] Megan: Huh? This chart makes no sense. What- Cueball: "Queueing"
[Zoom in, Megan grabs Cueball.] Megan: FUCK ME NOW.


Learning to Cook

Explanation:
This comic shows the plight of Randall who occasionally motivates himself to cook. After buying ingredients and cooking them, the food always ended up either tasted "kinda good" or not good, therefore - although he puts the leftovers in the fridge - hours later he orders pizza instead of eating the leftovers.
A few days later he first throws away the leftovers, and some weeks later also the unused ingredients. After some months he is motivated again to cook more and the loop repeats. This discontinued effort may be part of the reason his cooking does not improve much over time.
The title text describes that buying ingredients for a single meal might be more expensive than eating at a restaurant, but it would be compensated if there are enough leftovers to eat again from it or cook several meals. Of course, this idea is vitiated if he gives up cooking after a single try and throws away all remaining food.
[A flowchart.]
I should cook more! --> Buy ingredients --> Put some in a pan --> Cook --> Does it taste good? --> (arrows marked "Kinda" and "No" both lead to) Put leftovers in fridge --> (hours pass) --> Order pizza --> (days pass) --> Throw away leftovers --> (weeks pass) --> Throw away remaining ingredients as they go bad --> (months pass) --> (arrow leads back to beginning)