one who rules his own house well, having children in subjection with all reverence;
having his children in subjection with all gravity: The children under his care should be obedient, submissive. Their love and respect should be won rather than severely enforced. The children know their father’s voice, and they recognize it as a voice of love, concern, and fairness. The same is seen in the church. An elder knows each member of God’s family. Members see and hear him as a dedicated man of love, concern, and fairness. And, if the congregation knows him as a loving, kind, caring family man, they can rest assured that he will rule well over the household of God. Some scholars say that "children" in this phrase normally refers to those who have not yet attained adulthood. A growing child, moving through the stages of development should have respect for his father. Albert Barnes makes this observation: "A church resembles a family.... A church is made up of an assemblage of brothers and sisters.... It should be felt that he who presides over it, has the feelings of a father; that he loves all members of the great family; that he has no prejudices, no partialities, no selfish aims to gratify" (1140).