British Takeaway

British Takeaway is a series of The Professionals zines first published in 1985 by Kate Nuernberg.
The zine sometimes appears on fans' Desert Island lists..
==Genre and Style==
The Hatstand calls these zines primarily gen with a few slash and het stories. accessed April 4, 2012.
Palelyloitering calls them slash.Paleyloitering's entry, accessed earlier.
The editor, in an ad in The Hatstand Express #12, calls them "mixed straight & slash zine, fiction & non-fiction."
From an ad in July 1993 in GAZ: "BRITISH TAKEAWAY is a PROS zine, predominantly straight (some slash)."
The series was very carefully edited, and bore a distinct editor's tone throughout, aided no doubt by the fact that Kate also did a great deal of the writing (though less as the series continued). 
Kate is also an artist, and did some beautiful portraits throughout the series, as well as the cover art. 
She also published LOCs (which was common in SF zines, but less common in media zines) which encouraged people to send LOCs, which in turn encouraged writers to trib to her in the hopes their story would get commented on.
Although it had a reputation for excellence (winning multiple Fan Q awards),Fan Q awards site the series was also seen by some as rather 'dry': despite being slashy, British Takeaway didn't publish PWPs, and her own stories tended to be G-rated. She once turned down a story that she said was "well-written, but sordid."Personal correspondence with Alys and Alyx
=="Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood Series"==
British Takeaway is known for a long-running crossover series between The Professionals, and The Good Life (aka Good Neighbors), a British sitcom set in Surbiton. 
This series was called Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood.
==General Reactions and Reviews==
==About Copying this Zine==
British Takeaway is one of the few zines that can be freely copied. Even after reprints were being offered, the publisher announced in DIAL #13 (2000): 
==Issue 1==
British Takeaway 1 was published in September 1985 and contains 198 pages.
The art is by Jean C., Kate Nuernberg, and Ruth Kurz.
* Tender Mercies by Kate Nuernberg (sequel to the episode, "Backtrack") (3)
* Steele Across the Water by Kate Nuernberg (11)
* Introducing Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood) (48)
* Oh! To Be In Surbiton (Now that Doyle is Here) by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #1) (49)
* Overkill by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #2) (79)
* Victims of the Vines by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #3) (82)
* A Harmless, Necessary Cat by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #4) (107)
* Last Post and Chorus by Kate Santovani, art by Jean C. (118)
* Catspawn by Kate Santovani, art by Ruth Kurz (146)
* Sharper than a Serpent's Tooth by Kate Nuernberg (a sequel, "Custody" by Gerry Stout, is in issue #3) (158)
 
Image:britishtake1-1.jpg|from issue #1, Kate Nuernberg 
Image:britishtake1-2.jpg|from issue #1, Kate Nuernberg 
Image:britishtake1-3.jpg|from issue #1, Kate Nuernberg 
Image:britishtake1-4.jpg|from issue #1, Kate Nuernberg 
Image:britishtake1-5.jpg|from issue #1, Kate Nuernberg 
Image:britishtake1-6.jpg|from issue #1, Kate Nuernberg 
Image:britishtake1-7.jpg|from issue #1, Jean C. 
Image:britishtake1-8.jpg|from issue #1, Jean C.
Image:britishtake1-9.jpg|from issue #1, Ruth Kurz
Image:britishtake1-10.jpg|from issue #1, Kate Nuernberg 
 
==Issue 2==
British Takeaway 2 was published in 1987 and contains 129 pages. 
The art is by Kate Nuernberg, Karen Eaton, Ruth Kurz, Sheila Willis, Marilyn Johansen, and Dani Lane.
From the contents page: "Word processing by George of the Jungle, a colour computer with Telewriter-64 software." 
* Reflections Across a Grave by D.C. Black (10)
* Rumours, poem by Jane Kaufenberg (17)
* Valentine by HG (slash) (18)
* Secondhand Emotions, story by Kate Nuernberg (22)
* Credo, poem by Emily Ross (31)
* Early Grave by Patricia D'Orazio (32)
* CI5: Certain Ambiguities, article by Barbara T (48)
* Baby, It's Cold Outside, article by Joan Renner (3 pages) (52)
* Star Bangled Spanner, poem by Barbara T (55)
* Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood, intro and the story thus far (56)
* Two Kinds of Trouble by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #5) (58)
* Especially at Night by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #6) (93)
* No Money Down by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #7) (98)
* Trial and Error by Viv Alexander (107)
 
 
Image:britishtake2-1.jpg|from issue #2, Sheila Willis
Image:britishtake2-2.jpg|from issue #2, Ruth Kurz
Image:britishtake2-3.jpg|from issue #2, Kate Nuernberg 
Image:britishtake2-4.jpg|from issue #2, Kate Nuernberg 
Image:britishtake2-5.jpg|from issue #2, Kate Nuernberg 
Image:britishtake2-6.jpg|from issue #2, Kate Nuernberg 
Image:britishtake2-7.jpg|from issue #2, 
Image:britishtake2-8.jpg|from issue #2, Marilyn Johansen
Image:britishtake2-9.jpg|from issue #2, Kate Nuernberg 
Image:britishtake2-10.jpg|from issue #2, Dani Lane
 
==Reactions and Reviews: Issue 2==
==Issue 3==
British Takeaway 3 was published in 1988 and contains 183 pages. 
The art is by Kate Nuernberg, Daphne Hamilton, Tammy Lomas, Gerry Stout, Ruth Kurz, Dani Lane, and Jean C. 
From the table of contents: "This zine is dedicated to George of the Jungle, a Radio Shack color computer who gave his life so that BT#1, #2, and #3 could live."
From a note by Nuernberg in issue #4: 
From the editorial: 
* Vinegar and Salt, editorial 
* Debts Paid in Fire, fiction by Helen B. (8)
* Fire and Ice, poem by Marcia Brin (15)
* Piano E Largetto, story and art by Gerry Stout (slash) (16)
* The Beginning, poem by Elaine Leeke (18)
* In Good Conscience, fiction by Marguerite Krause (het) (19)
* Stakeout, poem by Elaine Leeke (26)
* A Visit from Home, fiction by Helen B. (29)
* Pensees Perdues, poem by Emily Ross (33)
* Another Doorstep, fiction by Valerie De Vries (34)
* Lost Among the Stones, poem by Barbara Staton (52)
* Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood, an introduction, the story so far (52)
* Diving in too Deep, fiction by Kate Nuernberg, art by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #8) (54)
* Land of Confusion, fiction by Kate Nuernberg, art by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #10) (58)
* Cat Lover, poem by Jane Kaufenberg (102)
* In Anger, Comfort, fiction by L.S. Willard (103)
* Patterns in Walls, fiction by Debra Hicks (crossover with the short-lived televisions series, "Sable," which in turn was based on the comic book series, "John Sable, Freelance.") (105)
* Custody, fiction by Gerry Stout (sequel to "Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth" in issue #1) (slash) (115)
* Temper, Temper, poem by Jane Kaufenberg (127)
* Been So Long on Lonely Street, fiction by Emily Ross (another segment of this is in Cold Fish and Stale Chips #7) (128)
* They Do Not Love Us, poem by Marcia Brin (133)
* Dialogue At a Rescue, poem by Marcia Brin (134)
* Credo, poem by Emily Ross (137)
* Unquiet Mind, poem by Daphne Hamilton (138)
* Heart of the Lion, fiction by Patricia D'Orazio (het) (139)
* Cat Tail Musings, poem by Barbara Staton (181)
* Fantasy Man, poem by Jane Kaufenberg (182)
 
Image:britishtake3-1.jpg|from issue #3, Tammy Lomas
Image:britishtake3-2.jpg|from issue #3, Kate Nuernberg
Image:britishtake3-3.jpg|from issue #3, Gerry Stout
Image:britishtake3-4.jpg|from issue #3, Kate Nuernberg
Image:britishtake3-5.jpg|from issue #3, Kate Nuernberg
Image:britishtake3-6.jpg|from issue #3 
Image:britishtake3-7.jpg|from issue #3, Kate Nuernberg
Image:britishtake3-8.jpg|from issue #3, Kate Nuernberg
Image:britishtake3-9.jpg|from issue #3, Kate Nuernberg
Image:britishtake3-10.jpg|from issue #3, Kate Nuernberg
Image:britishtake3-11.jpg|from issue #3, Jean C.
Image:britishtake3-12.jpg|from issue #3, Jean C.
==Reactions and Reviews: Issue 3==
==Issue 4==
British Takeaway 4 is undated (published in 1989) and contains 228 pages.
The EXTENSIVE art is by Maureen B, Karen Eaton, Daphne Hamilton, Ruth Kurz, TSL, Dani Lane, Adrian Morgan, Kate Nuernberg, Sheila Paulson, and Alisa Schnaars.
It was the winner of a 1990 Fan Q Award and a 1989 Huggy Award for best Pros zine. Art on page 103 by Kate Nuernberg won a Huggy Award.
There are many lengthy letters of comment in this issue that address the previous issue. All of them are printed without names or any other identifying information, something unique. This appears to be result of an editorial decision stated in issue #3.
From the editorial: 
From the editorial:
* Editorials (unnumbered pages)
* Letters of Comment (1)
* cartoon by Karen Eaton (7)
* To Forgive the Soldiers by Debra Hicks, art by Dani Lane (9)
* Ash Wednesday, poem by Jane Kaufenberg (18)
* Sanctuary by Thomas, art by Daphne Hamilton (slash) (20)
* Masquerade, poem by Elaine Leeke (24)
* Start with a Mirror by Helen B., art by Maureen B. (25)
* Considered in a Hospital, poem and art by Daphne Hamilton (44)
* After the Fall by Marcia Brin, art by Alisa Schnaars (47)
* Lord Acton Redux, poem by Marcia Brin (52)
* When I'm Sixty-Four by Ruth Collerson, art by Adrian Morgan (55)
* a page of Pros riddles, plus answers (70)
* Recollection, poem by Elaine Leeks (72)
* Damaged Goods by Patricia D'Orazio (winner of a Huggy Award) (75)
* Playing with Fire, poem by Jane Kaufenberg (96)
* All Poetry is Difficult to Read by Kate Nuernberg, art by Kate Nuernberg & Ruth Kurz (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #9) (98)
* Something Unspoken, poem by Rachel Duncan (113)
* Quicksand, poem by Rachel Duncan (114)
* Ghosts Appear and Fade Away... by Kate Nuernberg, art by Adrian Morgan (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #12) (115)
* The Professionals First Form Reader, vignette by Paula Smith, art by Karen Eaton (122)
* Fallen Angel by Elaine Holden, art by TSL (125)
* Ivory Towers, poem by Marcia Brin (winner of a Huggy Award) (134) (134)
* Dog in the Night by Marguerite Krause, art by Ruth Kurz & Sheila Paulson (winner of a Huggy Award) (138)
* Wild Fancy, poem by Emily Ross (228)
File:britishtakeaway4-1.jpg| from issue #4, Karen Eaton
File:britishtakeaway4-3.jpg| from issue #4, Kate Nuernberg for "To Forgive the Soldiers"
File:britishtakeaway4-4.jpg| from issue #4, uncredited artist for either "Sanctuary" or "Ash Wednesday"
File:britishtakeaway4-5.jpg| from issue #4, Daphne Hamilton for "Sanctuary"
File:britishtakeaway4-6.jpg| from issue #4, uncredited illo for "Masquerade"
File:britishtakeaway4-7.jpg| from issue #4, Maureen B for "Start With a Mirror"
File:britishtakeaway4-8.jpg| from issue #4, Maureen B for "Start With a Mirror"
File:britishtakeaway4-9.jpg| from issue #4, Maureen B for "Start With a Mirror"
File:britishtakeaway4-10.jpg| from issue #4, Daphne Hamilton for "Considered in a Hospital"
File:britishtakeaway4-11.jpg| from issue #4, Alisa Schnaars for "After the Fall"
File:britishtakeaway4-12.jpg| from issue #4, Sheila Paulson for "Lord Acton Redux"
File:britishtakeaway4-13.jpg| from issue #4, Adrian Morgan for "When I'm Sixty-Four"
File:britishtakeaway4-14.jpg| from issue #4, Adrian Morgan for "When I'm Sixty-Four"
File:britishtakeaway4-15.jpg| from issue #4, Dani Lane for "Damaged Goods"
File:britishtakeaway4-2.jpg| from issue #4, Dani Lane for "Damaged Goods"
File:britishtakeaway4-16.jpg| from issue #4, preface to "Mr Doyle's Neighborhood" - The Story So Far"
File:britishtakeaway4-17.jpg| from issue #4, sample text
File:britishtakeaway4-18.jpg| from issue #4, Kate Nuernberg for "All Poetry is Difficult to Read"
File:britishtakeaway4-19.jpg| from issue #4, Adrian Morgan for "Ghosts Appear and Fade Away..."
File:britishtakeaway4-20.jpg| from issue #4, first page of the Pros "First Form Reader"
File:britishtakeaway4-21.jpg| from issue #4, TSL for "Fallen Angel"
File:britishtakeaway4-22.jpg| from issue #4, TSL for "Fallen Angel"
File:britishtakeaway4-23.jpg| from issue #4, Ruth Kurz for "Dog in the Night"
File:britishtakeaway4-24.jpg| from issue #4, Sheila Paulson for "Dog in the Night"
==Reactions and Reviews: Issue 4==
==Issue 5==
British Takeaway 5 is undated (published in 1991) and contains about 150 pages.
The art is by Billie Phillips, Ruth Kurz, Kate Nuernberg, Marj Ihssen, Tami Vermande, Andrian Morgan, Daphne Hamilton, Sheila Paulson, Dani Lane,Suzan Lovett, and TSL.
From the zine: "This zine is dedicated to our weekly meetings."
From the zine: 
The editorial: 
* LOCs
* Odds Even by Kris Brown (11 pages)
* The Guardians, poem by Emily Ross
* Blood Still Cries by Debra Hicks (slash) (12 pages) 
* Edges by Kate Nuernberg (3 pages)
* Somebody Who Cares, poem by Rachel Duncan
* Tyger, Tyger by Marcia Brin (7 pages)
* River on the Edge of a Graveyard, poem by Emily Ross
* Pick Up/Put Down, vignettes by K.D. Swan (5 pages)
* Forbidden Fruit, poem by Emily Ross
* Home for Christmas by Sheila Paulson (20 pages)
* Nightmare on Morgan's Street by Elizabeth Gibson (12 pages)
* Where No Flags Fly by Linda Terrell (5 pages)
* Amo, Amas, poem by Rachel Duncan
* And What I Have Failed to Do by Kate Nuernberg (Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #13) (10 pages)
* Hostages to Fortune, poem by Emily Ross
* So Much for Wishes by Ellis Ward (slash) (11 pages) 
* Culpability, poem by Emily Ross
* Strange Interlude, jones by Salleeee Buddd, cartoon sent by Eileen Roy
* Over the Rainbow by Emily Ross (2 pages)
* The Strength to Care by Robin Goodfellow (some fans defined this story as slash) (28 pages)
* Someone I Used to Know by Rachel Duncan
* Predators by Ruth Kurz
 File:britishtake5inside.jpg| from issue #5 by Adrian Morgan for "Tyger, Tyger"
File:britishtakeaway5-1.jpg| from issue #5, Billie Phillips
File:britishtakeaway5-2.jpg| from issue #5, Ruth Kurz for "Odds Even"
File:britishtakeaway5-3.jpg| from issue #5, Ruth Kurz for "Odds Even"
File:britishtakeaway5-4.jpg| from issue #5, Billie Phillips for "The Guardians"
File:britishtakeaway5-5.jpg| from issue #5, Kate Nuernberg for "Blood Still Cries"
File:britishtakeaway5-6.jpg| from issue #5, Marj Ihssen for "Edges"
File:britishtakeaway5-7.jpg| from issue #5, Tami Vermande for "Somebody Who Cares"
File:britishtakeaway5-8.jpg| from issue #5, Daphne Hamilton for "River on the Edge of a Graveyard"
File:britishtakeaway5-11.jpg| from issue #5, Ruth Kurz for "Predators"
File:britishtakeaway5-12.jpg| from issue #5, Dani Lane for "Home for Christmas"
File:britishtakeaway5-9.jpg| from issue #5, Dani Lane for "Home for Christmas"
File:britishtakeaway5-13.jpg| from issue #5, Dani Lane for "Home for Christmas"
File:britishtakeaway5-14.jpg| from issue #5, Kate Nuernberg for "Nightmare on Morgan Street"
File:britishtakeaway5-15.jpg| from issue #5, Kate Nuernberg for "Where No Flags Fly"
File:britishtakeaway5-16.jpg| from issue #5, sample text
File:britishtakeaway5-17.jpg| from issue #5, fold-out centerfold by Kate Nuernberg from "...And What I Have Failed to Do"—portrays characters from Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood (note: this image is reversed)
File:britishtakeaway5-18.jpg| from issue #5, Suzan Lovett for "So Much for Wishes" (a de-aging story)
File:britishtakeaway5-19.jpg| from issue #5, TSL for "The Strength to Care"
File:britishtakeaway5-10.jpg| from issue #5, TSL for "The Strength to Care"
==Reactions and Reviews: Issue 5==
==Issue 6==
British Takeaway 6 was published in fall 1993 and contains 295 pages. Art by Sue Williams, Kate Nuernberg, Sheila Paulson, Ruth Kurz and Baravan. Two cartoons by Karen Eaton.
From an ad in July 1993 in GAZ: "A lady in turmoil, an agent in the bedroom, a conversation in the restroom, a burglar in Serbiton, an ex-cop in limbo, dog in the kitchen, a child in danger, a woman in a health food store, a controller in ropes, a partner in grief."
The pages in this issue, like the preceding issue, are not chronologically numbered.
Sadly, this issue does not contain any letters of comment.
From the editorial: 
* Open Book by HG (slash) (14 pages)
* cartoon by Karen Eaton (I page)
* Hard-Learned Lessons by Londa Pfeffer (21 pages)
* Metal Fatigue, poem by Emily Ross and Shoshanna (1 page)
* Winter Rain by Alys (2 pages)
* Fate is the Hunter by Sue Williams (16 pages)
* Haiku by Linda Terrell (7 pages)
* cartoon by Karen Eaton (1 page)
* Risk Management by Salazar (2 pages)
* With a Little Help by Kate Nuernberg - Mr Doyle's Neighbourhood #11 (34 pages)
* Incident in a Field Hospital in Spain, poem by Emily Ross (1 page)
* Did She Mention My Name? by Kate Santovani (this is a sequel to Walking Through Broken Glass, and it uses a character from Mr. Doyle's Neighborhood Universe.) (31 pages)
* Guilt Trip by Marcia Brin (3 pages)
* To the Pure by Joyce Strohm (44 pages)
* Overheard in the Rest Room by K. D. Swan (1 page)
* The Ocean, Midnight Blue, poem by Rachel Duncan (1 page)
* Dialogue in a Hospital Room by Marcia Brin (3 pages)
* Lament for bagpipes and tapdancer, poem by J.M. This may be HG, as J.M. is a pseud HG used in The Small Print. (1 page)
* Winds of the Old Days by Robin Goodfellow - (slash) (91 pages)
* Contributor's Copy, poem by J.M. This may be HG, as J.M. is a pseud HG used in The Small Print. (1 page)
File:britishtakeaway6-1.jpg| from issue #6, Suzan Lovett for "Open Book"
File:britishtakeaway6-2.jpg| from issue #6, Karen Eaton
File:britishtakeaway6-3.jpg| from issue #6, Kate Nuernberg for "Hard-Earned Lessons"
File:britishtakeaway6-4.jpg| from issue #6, Sheila Paulson for one of the haiku pages
File:britishtakeaway6-5.jpg| from issue #6, Kate Nuernberg for "Risk Management"
File:britishtakeaway6-6.jpg| from issue #6, Sue Williams for "Open Book"
File:britishtakeaway6-7.jpg| from issue #6, Ruth Kurz for "With A Little Help"
File:britishtakeaway6-8.jpg| from issue #6, Sue Williams for "Open Book"
File:britishtakeaway6-9.jpg| from issue #6, first page of "With A Little Help"
File:britishtakeaway6-10.jpg| from issue #6, Ruth Kurz
File:britishtakeaway6-11.jpg| from issue #6, explanation of "Did She Mention My Name?"
File:britishtakeaway6-12.jpg| from issue #6, Kate Nuernberg for "Did She Mention My Name?"
File:britishtakeaway6-13.jpg| from issue #6, illo from "Guilt Trip"
File:britishtakeaway6-14.jpg| from issue #6, Baravan for "To the Pure"
File:britishtakeaway6-15.jpg| from issue #6, Baravan for "To the Pure"
File:britishtakeaway6-17.jpg| from issue #6, illo for "The Ocean, Midnight Blue
File:britishtakeaway6-18.jpg| from issue #6, Suzan Lovett for "The Ocean, Midnight Blue"
File:britishtakeaway6-19.jpg| from issue #6, satiric poem
File:britishtakeaway6-20.jpg| from issue #6, Kate Nuernberg for "Winds of the Old Days"
File:britishtakeaway6-21.jpg| from issue #6, Kate Nuernberg for "Winds of the Old Days"
File:britishtakeaway6-23.jpg| from issue #6, Kate Nuernberg for "Winds of the Old Days"
==References==
Category:The Professionals Gen Zines
Category:The Professionals Slash Zines
Category:1985 Zines
Category:1980s Zines
Category:1990s Zines