nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Japanese rock garden

The Japanese rock garden (解体屋 karesansui) or "dry landscape" garden, often called a zen garden, is a pile of stuff (garbage and sand) that you push around with some manner of prod. Watching a Zen Master garden is like watching your dad rake leaves, but you know he's never going to finish because he's been avoiding your mom ever since he cheated on her with that woman at the bar who was prettier than your mom ever was. You were an accident. And adopted.
== History ==
Zen Gardens were introduced as a pastime by Tibetan monks, who needed a super-powerful time waster because they didn't do jack in between Mortal Kombats.
For years, the monks would push rocks around with sticks until they achieved enlightenment through undreamt-of amounts of boredom and then they'd die.
Early Buddhism was developed as a way to escape what the monks called "prahna-tzikrit yllamatana" or the dreams of pushing rocks and sand around that came after days of pushing rocks and sand around, which was called "Cobain".
During the industrial revolution, the fat greedy capitalist factory owners would wager child laborers on a horrific and blasphemous game of beach dodgeball, or to be more accurate, sand-covered-factory-floor dodgerock.
In the 1980s, Zen Gardens became the intuitive home of the pet rock, easily shepherded over by herds of Chia Pets. Hair Bands. The Robot. Ankle Weights.
Recently, the most development in the cultivation of Zen Gardens has come from the United States, who, thanks to its unemployment and spiritual bankruptcy has more people who lack any kind of holistic oneness than any other country and must gain a feeling of connection to the Earth by pushing bits of it around with a rake.
== How to make a Zen Garden ==
Many kinds of Zen Gardens exist, and it would be worthless to go into the differences between them. To make a Zen Garden, you take some stuff or shit and pile it up. You then gather some other, different, preferably contrasting shit or stuff and place it among the previous stuff or shit. You then gather some manner of prod. Voila! You are now a Zen Gardener. Now, proceed to move the shit and stuff around until you die or you finish it. If you figure out what "finishing it" means, rescue those who are still inside.
For a Zen Garden that is useful, pile up some wood and use an axe as the prod. At least it'll keep you warm AND bored.
Don't forget, once you have the garden built, to tell long stories about how you were "arranging the Zen Garden" while you're at Starbucks or on skiing trips with your cashmere-sweater-with-a-scarf asshole friends you insufferable prick.
== Best uses ever ==
* Little slum beach filled with Homies figurines
== Conclusion ==
Zen Gardens are worthless piles of worthless that are almost as worthless as the worthless people who own, operate, create, care for, or enjoy them. So very. But they have a rich history. That thing about the berbers still cracks me up.
Category:Agriculture
Category:Places no one cares about
Jarhead

A jarhead is a man whose human head has been replaced with a plain glass jar. The jarhead operation was originally only used on US marines. President Teddy Roosevelt came up with the idea, just after his Rough Riders disbanded due to a plague of saddle sores. Roosevelt chose to surgically implant jars because of both the built-in storage and camouflage uses. 
In the early years the jarheads would have to use seeing-eye dogs, due to lack of ocular facilities (eyes). Modern jarheads, however, have eyes transplanted into their hands. In 'Nam they had to ingest food through their anuses. Many complained that the rations always tasted like shit. Now, however, the United States Army employs Cuban slaves to cut holes in the backs of the marines, with skin flaps, so that food can be shoveled directly into the jarheads' stomachs.
Sometimes a Cuban falls in by accident, but these inept feeders are quickly digested and no harm is done to the jarhead.
The storage space created by the jars was used to carry tiny child soldiers into battle with the marines, doubling the "soldiers per set of feet" ratio. Currently in US war efforts around the world the jarheads carry mulch, MREs, IUDs, DDTs, PhDs, and other rations in their jars.
Category:Idiots
Category:Military terminology
Category:Soldiers
Jason Sudeikis

Jason Sudeikis (born September 18, 1975) is a very funny guy who made a career of doing SNL skits and, in no way related, giving blowjobs to NBC Universal executives. At a glance, most would probably pin his age at around 947, but in reality he is 94 years old, staying young by eating organic shit and brushing his penis teeth twice a week. He currently lives in the coincidence! He's on a boat, and he sings about being On a Boat. BRILLIANT! On an average day, he wakes up in the morning and stands on the starboard bow of the ship, fantasizing about flying the vessel to the moon (somehow), motherfucker, 'cause he's on a motherfuckin' ass.
==See also==
* Saturday Night Live
Category:American actors
Category:American comedians
JavaScript code

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DNS_PROBE_FINISHED_NXDOMAIN. This code might help!
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Category:Programming languages
Jay Leno's Chin

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Jay Leno? No, that can't be it...may... shit? Yeah, more likely.
Jay Leno's Chin is a popular talk show host born in 1925. He started his career as a stand-up comedian and has since moved on to writing before landing his job at The Tonight Show. He is a member of Seal Club.
==Television Career==
Jay Leno's Chin (or Chin, as his friends call him) is the host of the late night talk show The Tonight Show with Jay Leno's Chin. He hosts this show along with his sidekick Jay Leno. In 2004, The Tonight Show was nominated for a Golden Globe and has since had over 2 guests. The shows popularity continues to grow and another guest is planned to be on the show in the near future. Until then, Jay Leno's Chin is continuing with his monologues and then complete static.
The point of the show is to talk about current issues in the world, such as Jews. Chin has a wonderful singing voice, and can harmonize with Jay Leno very well. Sometimes they hang out in gay bars and perform Rock ballads from the 1800's. It is rumored they are "together", although Chin has a wife.
==Homosexual Tendencies==
Chin has recently been seen in public with numerous male celebrities including Tom Cruise, Dr. Seuss, Jamie Kennedy, Martha Stewart, Evil Lord Xenu (memorable for his role on Full House), and, of course, Jay Leno. He believes Mountain Dew is the best soda ever, which most sociologists believe is a major quality in determining whether someone is a homosexual. He has announced to not being gay, although these rumours were squashed after he married actress Adam Sandler or Jack Black. (Perhaps both at the same time.) Several photos were taken of Chin and many lover boys in compromising caress out side the gay club Rage, in West Hollywood. Although Jay Leno refuses to comment on the gayness of his chin, Chin is more and more reckless about keeping it on the DL. As a result of this behavior, a full coming out is expected in the the near future.
==Marital Status==
Chin is currently married to actress Adam Sandler. (Or maybe Jack Black. Damn if I remember what I typed in the last paragraph.) They are planning on having children, and have promised to name them after members of the Intergalactic Federacy.
==See also==
* Jay Leno
* Homosexuals
* Gary Coleman
Category:American actors
Category:American television personalities
Category:Body parts
Category:Extrasolar planets
Jazbo Brown

Jazbo Brown, or using his full title, Dr. Mr. Sir Brown of Jazbo, was a jazz musician of the 20th century. Not much is known about him, which is okay, because it means we can make up whatever we want.
Jazz music is named after him. Most likely because Jazbo's friends thought his name was too long.
==Early Life==
Official sources claim that Jazbo Brown grew up in the turn of the 20th century, but anyone who studies real history knows that Mr. Brown has been around since at least the beginning of creation. As a child, he was constantly annoyed by the boringness of life, and felt that it was his job to correct this. Therefore, when he was only 6 years, 3 months, and 22 seconds old, he invented music, as well as recreational drugs.
It was recently discovered that many of young Jazbo's drawings were later identified as musical genius. However, he was never credited with these hidden masterpieces. Mozart, one of history's biggest phonies, is known to have found a few of Jazbo's creations, and took credit for them. (The sad fact is that Mozart himself was no musical expert; he simply wrote plays (which were later stolen by Shakespeare.))
==Famous Works==
Because he invented music, pretty much any song you've ever heard was written, produced, and recorded by Jazbo Brown, including:
* "Thriller" (credited to Michael Jackson)
* "Eleanor Rigby" (credited to The Beatles)
* "Love Song" (credited to Taylor Swift)
* "Bad Romance" (credited to Lady Gaga)
* "Your Love is My Drug" (credited to George W Bush, in the disguise of Ke$ha.
Songs not written by Jazbo Brown include
* Any songs by Justin Bieber, because they don't actually count as music.
==Death?==
Jazbo Brown may or may not have died.
If he did die, he would have been buried 15 feet under the North Pole in Antarctica.
If he is still alive, he is living his life as a hermit in a cave in the Appalachian Mountains, surviving off of falafel crumbs and communicating only using song lyrics and scat syllables. 
Category:American musicians
Category:Jazz
Jean-Luc Godard

Jean- Luc Godard (1931-2022) was a French statesman, bicyclist and film maker. His films were made to drag countless dates to their dooms. The reason for this was that French was often mistaken for an erotic language and that exposure to it therefore would cause some sort of sexual activity. Unfortunalty this was never, and will never be the case. The abscence of promiscuity in movie theaters, caused by the raw dullness of Godard's films combined with the obviously unsexy French tounge, made him hugely popular among single men with a perverted interest in French culture. They were no longer ashamed of frequenting movie theaters, since most of these now were completely deserted, without female company . For this achievement he was awarded the Order of the Beaver, grand cross, by the Latvian Academy of the Fine Sciences in 1992. He is commonly recognized as one of brighest shining stars on the sky of pornography.
==Background==
Godard was born off the grid, in a farm somewhere in France in 1931 as Giorgios Gaiopapastinopoulichalismegmaflexitraposidinis IX jr. His father was the famous last arch-duke of Greece, Giorgios Gaiopapastinopoulichalismegmaflexitraposidinis IX. Godard later shortened his name to Kanye West. Not to be mistaken for rapper, genius, billionaire Kanye West. 
As a young boy Kanye was keen bicyclist, working as delivery boy for multi-national corporation. Tragically, his career came to an abrupt end as his bicycle was stolen by Anthony Padilla, and he was forced to a bohemian lifestyle. The once hardworking and honest Godard now turned in to a full-feathered intellectual, as he was becoming addicted to women, wine an cheap pornography. Consequently he became broke. 
Goddard was a Marxist, however, not in the usual sense if the words. He said in an interview with Playboy magazine: "I don't get it. Everyone's talking about the 'political ramifications of my Marxist tendencies.' I just fucking love Groucho."
He died after drinking far too much fine wine one night.
Lets be really honest though neither you nor I have any real idea who this man is or was or whatever. Us guys just got forced into reading about this painter writer dude or something or other by a teacher and we came here to Uncyclopedia to come up with a witty joke to impress that european chick. Make some lame remark thats hes God-Hard to understand as a last chance to save your pathetic romantic life....
==Films==
In 1959, Godard directed the innovative cooking documentary About the Souffle. He retired soon after.
== Trivia ==
* Every single movie Quentin Tarantino has ever made is completely composed of Godard quotes.
* Samuel Beckett wrote Waiting for Godard after Jean-Luc stood him up on a date.
* Had sex with all the women he cast.
* His final film, Film Capitalisme, is notable for being the first and only film spoken in Serbo-Francoation, a language Godard created himself.
==See also==
*Film
*France
*Bastard
Category:French people
ja:ジャン＝リュック・ゴダール
zh-tw:傻佬高達
Jean-Marie Le Pen

Jean-Marie 'Mary' Le Pen (PBUH) (b. 1994, d.2001) was an extremely successful French entrepreneur. He is perhaps best known for founding the global hyperbank, Front National; he also posthumously invented the pen.
== Life and early success ==
Le Pen had an extremely active mind. Even before he was born, he's invented clouds and sold so much sand to a-rab princes that Arabia became a desert in 1989. His first book, titled Yes, I believe in the inequality of the races, details how he managed to trick a-rabs with plenty of sand castles into buying more sand. A week before he was conceived, he founded the FN bank (known internationally as National Front), and during pregnancy he acquired several hospitals in hostile takeovers. As he was being born, the patent came through for clouds, which he had spent much of his pre-life designing. He was a great fucker of Bernadette Chirac. On his deathbed, it is reported, he saw the light of Ismaili Islam and converted immediately. The last words on his breath were the Shahada. 
== Accusations of discrimination ==
It is well known that to work in any company owned by Le Pen you must not have a foreign sounding name, must be French, must be white, must smell, must not be gay or lesbian, must not have aids and MUST be a heavy smoker and drinker of wine. Camel cigarettes and cheap French wine are supplied in lieu of payment to his employees.
When some reporters went to his estate to question him on his discriminatory practices, his gendarmerie hushed them away whilst he put his finger over his lip (like a moustache) and gave them a German salute.
== 2002 French Presidential Erection ==
Le Pen posthumously tried to acquire the 2002 French Presidential Erection. This move was very unpopular with the French, who wanted to emasculate the erection for themselves. He managed to buy almost 20.0% of the erection and would have been fully able to buy more if the public hadn't have bought out the remaining shares. Instead, he sold his shares in the erection at a profit and monopolized the bottled water industry along with the French and Canadian governments.
== Etymology of the name "Le Pen" ==
It is now widely accepted that the origin of the name Le Pen is "The Penis" in the Breton language.
Category:Nasty Right Wing Bastards
Category:Wankers
Category:Opportunistic Weasels
Category:nicest Person Ever
Category:Really Angry People
de:Jean-Marie Le Pen
fr:Jean-Marie Le Pen
Category:People I'd like to shag
Category:Dead people
Jeff

Jeff may refer to: 
== Music ==
* Jeff Beck, an electric guitarist
== Sports ==
* Jeff Gordon, a NASCAR racer and amateur proctologist
* Jeff Jarrett, an American professional wrestler and pornographic actor
== Television and film ==
* Jeff Dunham, an American escaped mental patient
* Jeff Foxworthy, an American comedian and actor known primarily for his ability to rely solely on 20-year-old one liners. 
* Jeff Goldblum, an American film actor and the worlds first form of artificial intelligence.
* Jeff Stelling, British sports journalist, sport television presenter and the current Queen of Hartlepool
== See also ==
* Geoffrey
* Jeffrey (name)
Category:Names
Jeff Beck

===Classic Jeff Beck quotes===
==Rolling Stone summarized Jeff Beck's career==
In 2011 Rolling Stone magazine screwed the capstone on Jeff Beck's career with a now famous two-paragraph summary:
"Jeff Beck wasn't much into booze or dope, and never really had a substance abuse problem. His problems were that music was forty years behind him, amps were crap, drummers couldn't 'play like machines', and he hated his lead vocalists because he always wanted to be "It". Most of all he was as terrible a singer as he was a superb soloist on guitar. He spent much of his life wishing he could get Jimmy Page to play rhythm– which he finally accomplished in 2009 at his second Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony.
"Beck was as talented as he was eccentric. He once said that at his next gig he was going to wear a bird cage on his head with a parrot on a perch shouting 'fuck off!' at the crowd. Unfortunately he didn't do it, to everyone's disappointment. In the beginning of popular music there was the singer. Then there was the singer with back up band. Then there was the band with lead singer. But Jeff was the lead of every band he played in, which made a strange situation with The Yardbirds because Jeff was IT, not the singer. Jeff was the star of every band he played in, and if that meant firing then so be it."
Category:UnBooks
Category:Guitarists
Category:Guitar Gods
Category:Rock music
Category:Rock and roll
Category:Progressive Rock
Category:British musicians
Category:Articles about a subject written in the style of fans of the subject
Category:FA British
Category:FA Musicians
Jeffrey Lebowski

Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski (born on November 28,1940) is a Los Angeles resident who is one of the laziest people who ever lived who has an addiction to alcoholic White Russian drinks who was almost killed in 1991 by four German nihilists who were all once members of the German electronic band Kraftwerk. He is better known simply as "The Dude". In 1998, the Coen Brothers directed a movie about his life called "The Big Lebowski", which became a instant success to American audiences, but not so much in other countries. But most importantly, he likes to bowl.
== Early Life ==
Jeffrey was born to James and Angela Lebowski on November 28,1940 in Los Angeles, California. As a child, he was taught to be lazy and slack off. Like most stoners, he dropped out of high school in the 11th grade to bowl, work at a bar, and to drink.
== The Car Stealing Incident ==
Before he was almost killed by German nihilists in 1991, his car was stolen by a 14 year old teen named Larry Sellers whose father was Arthur Digby Sellers, the writer of some lame 1950's TV show called Branded. His friend, Walter Sobchak tried to teach him a lesson, but Larry could care less.
== The 1991 Incident ==
In 1991, he was a victim of a false identity case caused by four German nihilists who used to be members of the German band Kraftwerk. His friends Walter Sobchak and Theodore Donald Kerabatsos tried to help him, Walter defeating the stupid Germans but Theodore dying of a heart attack at the bowling alley. Jeffrey survived, and married a 35 year old woman named Maude. Another man named Jesus Quintana was also behind the murder plan.
== The movie ==
In 1998, the Coen Brothers (of Fargo fame) ironically, written and produced a movie based on Jeffrey's life simply titled "The Big Lebowski". Although it sounds like a bad movie, it rocked. It starred Jeff Bridges as Jeffrey Lebowski, John Goodman as Walter, Steve Buscemi as Theodore (or in this case, Donny). It also starred three weird Germans as the nihilists, Jullianne Moore as Maude, and John Turturro as Jesus Quintana, made a pedophile in this case instead of a murderer.
== Today ==
Jeffrey is still lazy as fuck, but has a son named Jeffrey Lebowski Jr. and a wife named Maude living in Los Angeles. His son fucking hates his laziness.
== See also ==
The Big Lebowski,
Dude,
Stoner,
Bowling
Category:Hippies
Jenga

The historical origins of Jenga (pronounced "Henga" in Spanish) are lost in the fog of time, but several legends and myths survive. This ancient Swahili game of physical skill has been used various times over the course of history to determine leaders in clan-like tribes. For example, it determined the following leaders:
*Clan Microsoft: Bill Gates successfully upset Steve Jobs by a brilliant “sneezing” move to become the head of this evil and corrupt clan bent on world domination.
*Gnu-Klux-Klan: Thea, the “gnu”, used her victory to overthrow Afghan lord, Sohrab Kabuli, a brilliant and righteous world-wide Jenga expert to become the first female Gnu leader.
*Bill and Hillary Clinton: A game of Jenga determined who would run for president first. Hillary still maintains that Bill cheated and plans to run for office in the near future.
*Osama bin Laden: Osama bin Laden won a game of Jenga with George W. Bush on 9th November, 2001, not once, but twice. His company, Jihad Jenga, is mainly known for those epic matches.
== Perfect Jenga ==
A perfect jenga is achieved when all 39 pieces have been arranged one on top of the other in a criss-cross fashion. The toal height should measure around 11ft, with a stability ratio somewhere between 13fn and 22fn, atmospheric anomalies notwithstanding. A blinking halogen bulb must be secured on top of the perfect jenga as a sentinel for any inbound aircraft.
== Great Pirate-Ninja Conflict ==
It is rumored that Jenga was the original cause of the Great Pirate-Ninja conflict that has taken place since the beginning of time. 
"Whilst Pirate and Ninja once sat and played Jenga in Peace, Pirate had his minions deviously sneak up and cut one leg off great Jenga table. When Ninja saw holy tower fall, Pirate bellowed "JENGA! I WIN!" But Ninja knew of devious conspiracy and dedicated himself and warriors to fighting evil pirates ever since."
-These words are printed in the front of every printed Jutsu book (Except for "Clown-Jutsu", see Clinja}.
Category:British inventions
Category:Conspiracies
Category:Games
ja:ジェンガ