Family Guy: Peter's Ultimate Revenge

Hello, my name is Bobby Anderson and I am a psychotic dumb-ass who sits in front of the computer all day, everyday. My favourite hobbies are raiding the fridge every night and most importantly, watching cartoons. Cartoons are a life-style, the way we communicate and to breath, one of my favourite cartoons are "Family Guy" a show were a family goes mad, including Peter Griffin, Lois, Chris and Meg and Brian and Stewie, most of the time, the family dose wacky stuff, like bullying Meg and killing her!
I do know that the show overtime has gotten shitty, from a show that was generally fun to a poopy show, those including the bad episodes and this one occurrence that made me shit my diaper way to much, but before I can tell you about that, I need to tell you about this story first.
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== Part 1 ==
So back before I was a tripled chinned, 500 pounded fat man-child, I worked at FOX, the company that made Family Guy, everyday I walked in and shoveled the archives, to sort and to throw out bad tapes or DVDs, yeah it was a fucking nightmare, I tried faking sick but that didn't work - Boss was a asshole to me specifically, I tell him to stop but it doesn't work.
Boss's name is Tim, or as I'd like to say, Tim the penis sucking loser, because whoever hired that jerk had no brain, getting on topic, yeah I archive stuff and search in the large catalog, of shows like The Simpsons and what not and like above I sort in the different categories, like if The Simpsons was in a different shows place, I would move the episodes to The Simpsons place. Yeah, pretty damn confusing I know but that's how it rolls. And to make matters worse, Tim is over there, saying god-awful puns and genuinely annoying me, but let's get to the main reason on why your're reading this shitty great story.
One day at FOX, I was archiving and what not, until I find a Family Guy DVD in the scrap, I didn't know who placed it there, maybe some jackass or Tim? But I shelved it off as a prank, however, through out the day, I always get flashbacks off that DVD, it constantly re-running in my brain, then a random calls me in the boss's room, im not to surprised, as before Tim would call me in and it would be an pointless thing, so I drop what I was doing and start walking to his office, weirdly enough, the DVD wasn't in the scrap anymore - someone must've took it. I get in and I see the DVD on Tim's desk, I question on why in hell it was there, but whatever.
I sit down and Tim welcomes me and says something like "Hey, take this DVD home and watch it" stuff, I was like "Fuck no". Whenever I swear at Tim, he's like a a kid in Grade 1-2, getting offended over any small bit. I didn't want to start a war in his office so I accept it - damn, just the cover is odd, it's just "Family Guy" in black, possibly drawn in a black marker, but since this is a bet, I had to watch it, now I could just throw it in the garbage and call it a day, but Tim is a the boss, If I disobey, I could get fired, fired? Yes! I would take that then any day of the week.
== Part 2 ==
It's the end of another day at work, everyone's excited about getting some booty, except me. While everyone's happy and what not, I have to watch this Family Guy episode, why? I have work to do. Well "work" as in no-scoping kids on Black-Ops or in a war-field on Twitter, most of my time is in-front of the computer.
I get in my car and set my DVD on the right seat on the front, I pull out of the parking-lot and I see Tim, taking the L on me like a douche bag, I flip him the bird and drive off, I'm more annoyed at Tim then anything, him forcing me to watch this Family Guy episode, what if I lie, I tell him the next day that I did watch it but I didn't? Good idea but he will probably throw at me a test on what happened, so I "will" watch it, will in the sense that I will throw it on the floor and forget about it until the next morning.
My drive was long, I stopped by Wal-Mart to buy milk for my cereal because Milk is god's drink (It's not that my closet is clogged with empty Coca-Cola bottles), get back in car and go home, when I get back home, I brought the DVD and went inside. Now picture my house, you'd think it would be clean and modern, but no it's a fucking mess, like a tornado crashed in and shitted all, but that's a me problem, besides home is my room which I haven't mentioned but if infested with maggots.
I lob the DVD at my couch and search for the a DVD player, I search high and low, but I came to the conclusion that I don't have one, broke boy has no money but has some quarters poking out, so in desperation, I get my Xbox One from my room, hauling it in the living room and plugging it in, why a Xbox One? well you moron, you can play DVD's and Blu-rays on it, machine takes everything, except VHS's, laserdiscs, cassette tapes nor floppy disks, this is why i'm a beached whale now, as I grind Call Of Duty, Halo and GTA V with Cheetos stains on the console.
I clutch the DVD, open the case, grab the DVD, which felt really fucking disgusting, like some gooey gunk or donkey shit, not to combat with my awful home, so I take the DVD and try to take the gunk off with some cloth, a cloth I use to eat food on, well doesn't work so I use water, a little amount and cleaned with that and to no surprise worked, now the DVD is usable! Hooray.
I haven't checked the back off the case yet, I didn't want to spoil so I began it.
== Part 3 (The Juicy yet Shittiest Part) ==
It began with the episode menu and listed one episode, entitled "Peter's Ultimate Revenge" quite a epic name for a episode like this, it didn't have a preview of the episode, so I clicked on the episode and it began. The intro passed without a hitch and it began with Peter at home, watching TV, until spinning his head like crazy and killing everyone. Now in Family Guy, everyone is a douche to one another but this was- eh it had a cheap feeling, the animation didn't look good, like a group of unexperinced animators just sticking to see what sticks, the episode continued with Peter going on his spree, this is were I just got bored, as it was just Peter killing his supposed "friends", then Peter stopped, walked to the screen and stared at me, blankness expression, I was a bit bugged out as he just did that, stared, so I just walked out of the room and ate some food, food is pizza aka diabetes.
I come back and it's the same frame of Peter staring, man's starting to pissing me off, so I go to the Xbox until a loud scream is heard from the speakers, I jumped but landed on the couch, the screen went black and it stopped, well that was a fucking waste of time, all that for a jumpscare? ppft tisk but a scratch, I finally checked the case and it credited "Tim", that sadistic bastard made this to shit my pants? Well tomorrow i'm coming and about to spit in his fat dick face.
== Part 4 ==
The next day is a day like any other day, rinse and repeat but today is special, the day when I complain to Tim and shout at him on why he made this episode that would be better off in the landfill, not like it made me scared shit-less but more like "This is a something I would grab from my ass" type, but I knew today will be my hardest ever, I come into work and immediately march into the Tim's office, open the door and now begins a war, I tell him on why in hell he made me watch a waste of time that piece of shit it was, Tim snarks back as something like "Ha! You fat fucking fool! You fell into it" but then why you made me watch it? I would rather eat 4 pounds worth of dead rats then watch of what the hell that was.
Tim then shits on me more but to skip time, I get out of the room, all pissed and shit and continue work, break approaches, most sit and wait but for me, I keep working, lose them pounds and then break comes, I sit in the cafeteria and break out my old phone and played some shitty mobile games like Cut The Rope, then I get a text from Tim, he says something like "I know now where you live (:<" I snapped back as it was a bad joke, get back to playing and when break ends, I pack up and get back to archiving. While working, Tim watches me behind me, giggling and shit, I get annoyed and I walk away, it's like Tim as a crew but I annoy them, to make this related to Family Guy, I get back home and watch some Family Guy to flush those bad memories.
Last episode, I get my PJ's on and sit on the couch, half-way in a episode, I glance at the window and I see a figure running through the front lawn, I double blinked and though I was dreaming, I don't know, it might be the old neighbor running to the dog but this it was dark out, I didn't get a good picture. Episode done and I get in bed, launch in bed and sleep, while sleeping, I feel as if I was being watched, but I didn't leave a hitch, the next morning I was just getting ready for work until an ladder was sitting at the back of the house, from my window, It looked odd, as the last time I looked at the back, no ladder near my window, but since my peanut shaped brain had little time to comprehend, I just though I left it there on accident.
When I get in work, Tim acted more shady, as he didn't annoyed me as much as previous days, hell Tim was barley seen, most though he was sick, one weirdo though he died, which if that would've happened, I would shit dick on his grave but the day was actually good, for once I wasn't trying to bash my big fat head against the brick wall, but it was still slow none the less, I get back home and I realize that I still have that DVD, that DVD that exists, I just threw the case in the closet, so I wouldn't look at a scum DVD like that, I made myself some supper, but I felt sweaty, as my hair and body started to get moisturized, how? the fan is at the max yet I'm melting, then I hear some slight shuffling in my living room, I peep my head in the room and I see nothing but the window open, with the wind breezing in.
I get back in the kitchen then I hear glass break, I dodge in and see a light broken, fucking shits already pissing me off, so I close the window and lock my doors - I would do this until a guy appears out of the couch with black shirts, pants and a black mask, he panics and busts through the big window in my living room. Dick he broke my window but how in hell he got in? The window yes, my brains working! Now I don't feel safe, as now a guy broke in my home, now's the time to compromise, this means locking my doors, NO, bashing boards at the doors.
== Part 5 ==
Now I feel better, safer protection from my home, no bull-shit now! But I still have to go to work aka hell, I get in my car and I see a bush, a regular bush but with some other stuff in it, I go check and see some clips, clips that go in guns, what the fuck? Clips, it feels like someone, maybe that guy in my home, was trying to shoot at me, no-no, no. That can't be, a big cliche but it felt real, at work I was just thinking that now people are getting in my home trying to make a genocide. It now feels like Tim is no where to be seen, as all of us are starting to go into a panic, some people leaving early, taking advantage of no boss and I was one of them.
I got home early, sun still up and all I did was sit in front of my computer, trolling people as I am a jerk to, the sunsets and the moon rises, the owls appear and the people are sleeping, except for me, all i'm doing is doing the stuff im doing when I got home, jerking off on my computer, I go downstairs and order the 30th pizza this month, obesity is rising. I get the pizza and start chowing, this was until my window was knocked, like someone threw a small rock, I looked out side and a trio of people run from my front lawn, what in hell? I open my window and I pop my head open, looking to see where in hell they are, until a black van drives off, so - are those people in that van, is it a army of people trying to fuck with me? Well all I knew is that I had to come prepared. Since the boss will do jackass nothing, I decided to not go to work and to fix the window in my living room, I didn't want a glaring thing to appear at my home and cold winds coming in.
Window done, not bad for a fat ape, I sit and relax on the couch, conquering the biggest job since the last time I needed to use a microwave, that shit was hard, later on, I go upstairs to go to bed, on the bed however, a Peter Griffin plush was lying on my bed with a note saying "Bitch, you though it was a joke, not a joke anymore!". Some stupid note? HA! But to think about it, how in hell did a guy get in my house? I was at home all day but I get this without a peep, my brain gears and finally connects the Peter plush with Tim, Tim that fucking dick, trying to poke in my home, well tomorrow I have a plan down my sleeve, a plan that might not work well.
== Part 6 ==
At work yet again and me has a plan, during my breaks I wrote what my plan will be, a fat man with a very bad plan. The plan would be that I would sneak in that black van, which by this point I know Tim uses, since driving this morning and I saw Tim sneaking in the FOX building out of his van, next I would get in the van without getting caught and go to his place, so I can see why he's trying to rape me but to get his address so I can contact the cops on, the work day was filler but after the work day is when the fun starts. The work day ends and my operation begins, I get in the van, in a part in the van where no one would get me at.
A few moments later a group of people get in the van and I feel the van moving, if your confused as fuck on where I am, i'm underneath the seats, it felt like forever but I felt the van stop, everyone gets out and I wait for a bit, then I leave and I'm at this warehouse, a weird as fuck looking one but I didn't budge, I first wrote down the address then I needed a way to see what was happening, I found a ladder and used it to see what was happening, a small window at the top part of the warehouse, Hitler making tanks? It looked like it, computers with info I couldn't see and a full cabinet of guns, bombs and other stuff, what can I tell? I'm not one of them, I get a glance at a screen and... My address, HOW IN HELL? So, if I connect the dots, that guy in my house copied my info and told them, but that DVD, how did that DVD know my home? is that DVD special, can it read my IP address, maybe but- ughh fuck.
One guy in the warehouse catches me and I book out, I sprint out as fast I could, even though i'm a fat boulder, I ran as fast as the Road Runner, few of them got out to see where I was but since it was pitch black, they couldn't see me. Why? Where am I, i'm trying to find my way back home, but in desperation I get back home, I finally get back home, getting my DVD and smashing that thing, that thing that found my home, dump the shards in the trash and did other stuff.
== Part 7 (A bunch of other stuff happened) ==
First I had to contact the police about it, I slit the paper from my pockets and called the cops, I told the cops on what was going on and lastly gave off the address, the police said that they would go to that place asap and to update on what will happen, I felt more secured, now with the cops on my side, no more monkey shit now. I go to sit on the couch, but I saw something behind it, a camera? How? Was it from that guy, I looked at the videos on the camera and it was footage of my home and me sleeping. Ok, now i'm scared, that Family Guy animation was now where near scary but now these are starting to get my heart pumping.
Just like the DVD, I smashed it, now why smash a camera? That camera had stuff that was on me, footage on me, an asshole was recording me, so it made sense to break it.
Lastly that episode, it made no sense, there was no plot, it was only made to get my IP address and to kill me. Why was Peter kill his friends? From betray? Jealousy or depression? I don't know but it was bad, no voice acting to, but that shit is bad enough, I don't want to talk about it even more, as it is bad filler, I just got in bed.
== Part 8 (The End) ==
The next day of work comes along, I need to go, man needs money, I don't want to live on the streets, the streets have odd stuff, I get in work but Tim isn't there, someone else filled in for him, I didn't care is got back to working, at break, the cops called and told me that Tim was arrested and his friends, thank god! And to make it better, for a life-time, now that dick can get the pain he deserves, he said that he was a child groomer and liked to stalk people.
That is fucking messed up, why would this guy, Tim - a bad name, stalk people? Why? I'm thankful of myself of calling the police, if not I would be down a even further rabbit hole, then the police destroyed the warehouse and removed all of the highly vicious bombs and guns, how in hell did he get those? And lastly, the cops told me to move somewhere else, just in case that Tim breaks out and sucks my hairy balls, so we good.
The next day, I left FOX, fuck FOX and began packing stuff, besides that home sucked ass anyways, I packed and moved to Texas, this is my life now, i'm now fully obese and I have no job, my job now is dicking off on my computer, raging against scumbags kids on COD, that DVD is now left in the past and now I feel much better now, i'm out of a bad chapter of my life, to you, reader, it might felt so fake but really, stalkers are actual assholes and should burn in hell, always contact the police or anyone if some pedo is watching you through your're window, because at the end of the day, it can make you shiver.
== Part 9 (More) ==
"The End? BITCH THIS IS ANOTHER PART", yes I know but I want to write off more before I'm gone, I got a better job selling windows which is ironic since my windows were smashed, but selling windows is much better then facing off against a boss that has no life, nor soul and my old home is being sold and some Asian family bought it recently, hopefully they won't know about the dark history that house had besides the maggots making themselves home in there, I still like Family Guy, the older episodes though, that "lost episode" didn't scare me, more funny then scary in fact, but Family Guy still remains to be my favourite show.
Hey I need a life, so goodbye.
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