The Dookie Man

Once upon a time, in a small, peaceful town known as Fecesville, there was a legend that sent shivers down the spines of all who heard it. It was a legend whispered only in the darkest corners of the local dive bar, shared as a cautionary tale to scare tourists away. The legend of... the Dookie Man.
The Dookie Man was not your average boogeyman. No, he was something far more sinister, a walking nightmare that seemed to defy all reason and logic. The legend said that he was born from a toilet, a cursed child whose very existence was a grotesque mockery of nature itself.
They say he had eyes like bloodshot bowling balls and teeth like yellowed piano keys. His skin was said to be the color of moldy cheese, and his fingers were long, gnarled, and stained with a substance that no one dared to name.
But the most horrifying thing about the Dookie Man was his weapon of choice. He didn't use knives or guns like a typical murderer. No, his preferred method was something far more macabre. He used... feces.
Yes, you heard it right. The Dookie Man would collect his own excrement in a small, leather pouch that he carried with him at all times. And when he spotted his victim, he would fling his foul-smelling ammunition with deadly accuracy.
Legend had it that the Dookie Man's aim was so precise that he could hit a fly on a cow's back from a hundred yards away. But the most terrifying part was the effect of his fecal fury. They said that anyone struck by the Dookie Man's vile projectiles would instantly be consumed by a foul odor and would slowly begin to decompose, turning into a living, breathing pile of... you guessed it, dookie.
Of course, most people dismissed the legend as nothing more than an absurd tale, a gruesome joke concocted to keep children in line and scare off the gullible. But every now and then, a story would surface about a missing person, their disappearance always accompanied by a lingering stench that refused to fade.
As the legend of the Dookie Man persisted, some brave souls decided to investigate further. They ventured deep into the woods, following the trail of rumors and the unmistakable scent of horror. It wasn't long before they stumbled upon something that defied belief.
In the heart of the forest, they found a ramshackle hut, crudely constructed from discarded toilet seats and stained bathroom tiles. And inside that repulsive abode, they found him – the Dookie Man himself.
He was hunched over a filthy toilet, his leather pouch filled to the brim with his grotesque ammunition. His eyes were wild, his hair matted with filth, and his grin... a grin that seemed to stretch impossibly wide across his hideous face.
Without hesitation, the investigators attempted to apprehend the Dookie Man, but he was surprisingly agile. He hurled feces with deadly precision, and one by one, they fell victim to his revolting attacks, slowly decomposing into piles of human waste.
It was a gruesome and absurd end to their quest, and as the Dookie Man cackled maniacally amidst his unspeakable arsenal, he whispered a chilling warning to anyone who dared to venture into the world of legend and myth:
"Beware the legend of the Dookie Man, for he is real, and he is armed and dangerous."
And with that, the legend of the Dookie Man lived on, a bizarre and terrifying tale that would haunt the town of Fecesville for generations to come.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck