nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
I Counted On You

I had recently turned 20. I opened the green bo, I'd finally gotten Pokémon: Leaf Green!!! At the time your in, getting Leaf Green wouldn't be such a surprise now since now there are tons of better Pokémon games and it probably isn't your birthday. Your reaction would be like this: "Meh, an old Pokemon game, whatever."
Back to the pasta; I opened the case, nearly breaking it to get to the gameboy card that is required to play the game. I stuck it inside, and played for hours. I eventually find a guy who wants to give me a Magikarp.
I accepted it, and kept playing. When I went to go look at my Pokémon party, a Charmeleon, a Ratticate, Pidgeotto, and a Magikarp were there.
"Magikarp," I whispered. "I'm gonna make you a star pokemon just like Charmeleon and the others!"
I could of sworn I even saw my sprite wink at me... but, probably not. It might have been my imagination.
So I saved the game. Forever. That was the last time I ever went on in a long time. I forgot about the game because later in life I soon got better Pokémon games like Soul Silver. I never played Leaf Green again until a few years later. I walked outside of my room. It was in the middle of summer, nothing to do, burning hot in the house and outside, just plain boring. I looked into my closet where mom keeps the sheets and pillows to find a strange blue device. My gameboy! I picked it up and immediately started playing.
Instead of the usual happy and epic music that plays at the beginning of Leaf Green, I just heard a sad, funeral-like tune. I go in to see a save-file named "I.COUNTED.ON.YOU.". I knew I would never name my character something like that, so I went in to investigate. I was in a dark room, my character had ropes around him. He was tied to a pole!
Then a Magikarp appeared. It had glowing red eyes and a big wide evil grin.
"Kenny, I counted on you. You said you would make me a star, you liar. You dirty little liar! I'm now going to get payback. Payback for what you've done!" the Magicarp hissed.
The screen went black. How the hell does he know my name? The room went black. "What is going on?" I said. Then in red text the words "I.COUNTED.ON.YOU." appeared on the ceiling. Then my whole world went black.
Here I am. Trapped in the darkness for eternity. Watch it next time you call Magikarp "worthless".
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pokemon
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:Old Shit
I Crashed Into a Farm Barn in Nebraska and What I heard Haunts Me Today

I was driving towards Derry to see my old mates from the Loser's Club. That's what we used to call us, at least.
Tuning into the local AM, listening to someone called Jeb preach to his people, I was falling asleep, not having much the night before at the motel. It's taken me 3 days to get to this point.
You know when you doze off and wake up in your own bed and everything is sort of ok? Apart from everything else going on? Well, that's not how it turned out. When I came awake, I was balls deep in some farmer's daughter barn. Just like in Back to the Future III.
I said "What the hell's going on, Bobby?"
The machine did not answer. I was alone. It seems that no one had heard me intrude into their democide.
After a perfunctory check upon the 30 kg of Pink Panther in the back, I was relieved and found that it might be preferactios to stay the night in the barn, under this cozy ass hay and shit that was basically all over me.
Shit.
I broke out the whiskey bottle, the ramen-to-go, and the hot bottle. Life was good. Until it wasn't.
The fucking barn guy shot me in the face with a gun because he thought I slept with his daughter's son.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
I Dared A Creeper To Ruin My Life

My name is Brian and my creeper is trying to ruin my life. It started out very small but has quickly grown out of control
I'm currently sitting inside a mine, using their wifi and taking advantage of their diamond ores. I'm posting this in case... well in case he finds me and explodes soon. It's only a matter of time now, and I want someone to know what happens before I lose my hearts.
sssssssssssssssssssssssss
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Minecrap
Category:Im died
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
I Didn't Forward That Email

You know those stupid spam emails you get that tell you if you don't forward it to someone you will die? Yeah, I got one of those.
But I didn't forward it.
It all started on a Saturday when I was browsing my computer and then I checked my email.
"THIS MESSAGE WAS SENT TO YOU BY DEAD SARAH, A LITTLE GIRL WHO DIED ON EMAIL IF YOU DON'T FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO YOUR (0) FRIENDS YOU WILL ALSO DIE!!"
I laughed so hard I pissed in my Supreme underwear. Who could ever believe this? I instantly threw the email away.
Two days later I heard a knock at my door..
I walk to the door and was greeted not by a person but a pungent stinky smell. Oh.. never mind, here comes someone.. wait is that a little girl?
"hello I am here to kill you, you never forward my email."
"You smell like shit and your email is dumb, get out of my house!"
"fine"
She walked her stinky ass out and I slammed the door.
Just as I turned around she appeared, and I kicked her 8 feet across my living room. She crashed through the wall..
Then, I died.
...
FORWARD THIS STORY TO YOUR (0) FRIENDS OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Im died
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
I Don't Think Our New Cat Is Normal

Hey, so something spoopy happened and I wanted to post it on not-shitty nosleep, but I clearly have less talent than a dead flea when it comes to writing (or anything, besides making salad dressing or my easy af job). So I'll share with you guys!
The other day we adopted two adult Siamese cats, a brother and a sister; Boy Catte and Girl Catte respectively. Everything was fine and dandy until I felt the hairs on my neck and face and foot stand on end. Girl Catte was staring at me so deeply and intently that I quite nearly shit my pants.
I know Siamese are very intelligent and shit, so I brushed it off. Mom told me it was ok. She had a Siamese before I was born and that cat was smart and talkative and looked like she knew all the answers to the universe.
Boy Catte likes sitting next to us like a sentinel, guarding us. But we soon realized he was guarding us from his own sister. Next time she stared at me her eyes turned into human eyes and she said "What are u lookin at punk" and then I died.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Animulz
Category:Im died
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
I Doubt You Want to Hear

I doubt you want to hear about
The Tome I found in my attic
How I read a few words, and
Now my dog's acting erratic.
I doubt you want to hear about
The strange noises under my bed.
How a hand taps at my window,
All gooey and bloody red.
I doubt you want to hear about
The giant ants raiding my fridge.
How they stole most my food
And ate my parakeet Midge.
I doubt you want to hear about
A visiting cat with a fiery tail.
How it set fire to my room
And drop down blazing hail.
I doubt you want to hear about
The red eyes glowing in my closet.
How blue mice with green tails
Stole my gold coins and locket.
I doubt you want to hear about
The monsters infesting my sock drawers.
How they track mud and dirt
All over my nice clean floors.
I doubt you want to hear about
The witch that crawls up my kitchen drain.
How she threatens to turn me
Inside out and steal away my brain.
I doubt you want to hear about
The latest predicament I'm in,
Involving a tall, faceless guy
And a kid with a grin.
You think the things I willingly tell
Are so very phony,
Unlike your favorite show
Which is My Little Pony.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Morons Attempting Poetry
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:YT Readings
Category:Shortpasta
I Dream of Majora

The last couple of days, I've been playing Majora's mask with little to no sleep. I would occasionally pause the game to set my alarm clock for 10 minutes and take a nap. For a while, my schedule worked out great. Play the game for a hour, pause, set my alarm, and nap. All was good untill I was doing the Kafei's mask quest. Just waiting for Sakon (the guy who stole Kafei's wedding mask) to open the door to his hideout. I felt a little tired of waiting so I paused the game to get a little nap. But the dream I had disturbed me. The dream started with Link trying to hurry to clocktown on the final night in order to stop Majora from crashing the moon into Termina destroying everything in sight. Link struggled to make it in time, but to no avail; he failed. The moon crashed into Termina leaving a fiery wave, engulfing everything in sight. Link somehow mannaged to survive the destruction, but it wasn't Link; it was the Elegy of Emptiness statue! That creepy creepy freaking statue. Termina was nothing but rubble. Link stood up and mumbled "Am I him or is he me?" (what i guess it that the shockwave caused the statue to take over links body and was thinking that he was the original link) over and over again. Link set out in the direction of Great Bay. Along the way he saw a Deku shrub burning from the shockwave of the moon. "Please kill me, I beg you kill me" The shrub said in pain. Feeling its pain, Link picked up the a nearby piece of rock and smashed its head in. The shrub just laid there in a pool of blood. "Thank you" said the Shrub with its last breath. Link just stared at the body smiling. Afterwards, he continued of to Great bay. "Am I him or is he me" Link kept mumbleing over and over. After Link wandered into Great Bay, or what was left of it, there was the mask salesman giggling with an evil-looking smile. Behind him was Majoras Incarnation. After that I woke up to see the moon crashing into Termina! The game then froze just as Link was being ingulfed by flames. Somehow, my stupid dog stepped onto my N64 controller and unpaused it! To this day i'm still afraid to play that game.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Zel-DUUHHH
Category:NINTENDO SIXTY-FOOOUR
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Old Shit
I Eat Glass (Copypasta)

I eat glass, I do know not why I eat glass, but I do. I am aware this is most likely very damaging to my health, but I still do it. My mouth is full of cuts from the, and half of my tongue got cut off. I also eat other sharp objects, such as knives, razorblades, and scissors. My doctor keeps saying I should stop doing this immediately, but I don't listen. I am prohibited from being allowed sharp objects, but I always find them. My family keeps telling me to stop doing this, as well. They tell me that it could kill me, but I am physically incapable of stopping. Whenever I see a sharp object, I swallow it. I can't stop myself, I don't even like how it feels or tastes. I just swallow it mindlessly, for the hell of it. People used to call me a lying dickweed at first when I told them I ate their scissors, but now they seem more worried. Every time I shit, blood comes out of my ass crack. My toilet gets clogged often, sometimes I have to shit in the bathtub. Then the bathtub drain gets clogged, and I have to shit outside. Glass, a hard, brittle, noncrystaline, more or less transparent substance produced by fusion, usually consisting of mutually dissolved silica and silicates that also contain soda and lime, as in the ordinary variety used for windows and bottles, is my main meal. I don't want to eat sharp objects anymore, I don't want to eat glass anymore. I can't eat anything but glass, why can't I eat anything but glass? I just want to be happy, not eat glass. My entire home is made of glass, and I eat it away, slowly. Please take all the glass and sharp objects away from me, I don't want it anymore. Glass, it's all I eat, and I hate it.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Shortpasta
I Farted

Suddenly, an entire platoon of US marines smashed their way in and kidnapped me and flew me away. Then, I suddenly woke up. I consulted a psychologist about this. They said to me, "Sir, this is a coffee shop". This scared so much my buttocks erupted, ripping my trousers apart and killing everybody in the world with a mountain of smelly shit. The world exploded.
...
P.S. I was purple the entire time.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Rocks Fall, Everybody Dies
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
I Fistfight Ghosts

I don't hunt ghosts, I hurt ghosts... WITH MY FISTS! Yeah, you heard me. There's no room in my world for fancy gadgets. Only candy asses use proton beams, and I'll be damned if I'm going to mollycoddle some restless spirit that's worn out its welcome.
Now I'm sure you're wondering how I manage to bring the pain seeing as ghosts are incorporeal and stuff. Well, here's what happened... A few years ago, I took the bus to a part of town known as Little Haiti. It was there that an old voodoo woman sold me a pair of enchanted brass knuckles. When worn, they enable me to punch ghosts into submission. As a bonus, they're covered in runes that totally go with the tribal tattoo wrapped around my right bicep. Anyway, I paid her for the magic knuckle dusters, then paid her grandson, Ricardo, for what I thought was an ounce of quality weed. I could barely contain myself on the bus ride home. In a matter of hours, some unsuspecting ghost was about to eat a beat down sandwich, and I was the one presenting the feast!
Upon arriving home, I immediately got to work. There was a haunted house at the end of my cul-de-sac. Everyone in the neighborhood had grown tired of hearing the spirit of Mr. McGurdy bellyaching night after night. His old lady had murdered him in his sleep for who knows what, and, let's be honest, who really cares? Sure, that sucked for him. Know what else sucked? Getting home and discovering Ricardo sold me a bag of oregano. Sometimes life isn't fair, a lesson Mr. McGurdy had to learn the hard way.
Long story short, I kicked his front door in shortly after he started his wimpy little "woe is me" routine. He was surprised to see I had brought a whole bushel of throw down to the hoedown. Yeah, he tried to fight back—they always do—but his puny little ghost fists passed right through me. I let Mr. McGurdy do his thing for a while until he was out of breath, then finished him off with a classic one-two punch. After that, I left him laying unconscious on the floor, went back to my apartment, and enjoyed some pierogis and a protein shake. It's true, success is sweet. The next night, no more wailing and no more Mr. McGurdy. I guess he finally caught a clue his type wasn't welcome around here and moved out.
So, yeah, that's what I'm all about. Some people might call me a hero, and perhaps they're right, but I just see myself as a regular guy that likes to beat the hell out of ghosts. So far, my record is 56 wins. 37 of those are knockouts. You'd be surprised how many of them turn tail when they see me coming.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
I Forgot To Renew My Pooping License

I had coffee when I awakened and it stirred up a mighty discomfort within me. I went to use the bathroom, but the moment I sat down a police officer with a billy-club and mutton-chops and one of those weird old-timey hats said, "Greetings, sir or madam, may I see your pooping license?"
I gritted my teeth and stood up. I said I was merely testing the slipperiness of my toilet seat when presented with a bare ass. The cop left me.
I went to the DMV with my intestines crying out in agony. I hoped I would be able to get my pooping license in time! When I got to the desk after seven hours the woman simply frowned sternly at me and said, "DMV Closed."
Did this story frighten you? This is what we have to look forward to if you don't vote for Gary Johnson in 2016.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
I Found My Missing Cat

I lost my cat. He was big and had butt worms. I put him on pinworm medication.
Yesterday I found my cat in my bathroom. Wow I was so excited. Cat was moving around towards me. I hear squishy noises.
Cat is pulsating. Cat is actually just a bunch of worms moving inside a cat body.
Who did this? Aliens.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Animulz
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
I Fucked a DVD

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up... Well guys, guess I fucked up.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
I Got Detention... For The Wrong Reason...

So there I was, fucking sitting in class, trying to supplement my writing with fucking swear words to sound edgy and mature. I was early in class so I was on my phone on Reddit, browsing my favorite subreddit, r slash nosleep, because meta.
My best friend, Jimmy John, suggested that we do some dumb shit in the middle of the woods at night, and because we were both 13 year olds, we were smart and knew how to defend ourselves from bad guys with our Taijutsu we learned from watching Naruto Shippuden. So we went into the woods and Jimmy John pulled out a giant crazy demon dagger and suddenly became super scary and told me he was Satan, and also he tried to cut my head off to summon Satan demons. So I had to kill him in a very gory nasty way. In fact, it was so gory, I can't remember what exactly I did besides the fact that it was nasty and gross.
I went to school the next day and when I got to 2nd period and there was JIMMY JOHN sitting across from me... I thought I killed him last night but suddenly he raised his hand and screamed,
"MRS. JOHNSON, GEORGIE'S TRYING TO CHEAT OFF OF MY TEST!"
Anyway I have detention now because Mrs. Johnson is a bitch and I hate her and she didn't listen to me because I didn't cheat and it's stupid and I hate her and school sucks and now I can't play Halo 4 when I get home.
Also Jimmy John is still a demon. The reason I started typing this was because I heard a knock on my door and my dad opened the door and then Jimmy John said "I'M A SATAN DEMON I'M HERE TO KILL YOUR SON" and then shot my mom and dad. I'm so scared guys he's trying to find me I think he is outside my door oh god I think he can hear my typing at 115 WPM on my Razer Blackwidow Chroma V2 Green Switch RGB mechanical keyboard it's so loud guys I think he's gonna barge in right before I finish this sentence and h....[p'u OE:?HKRIL<jdb.
This is Jimmy John... and Georgie's a delusional mental patient... I am his doctor and had to administer him some drugs to stop being insane... It was all fake and in his head... Scary because insanity... and now... YOUR ARE INSANE TOO!!!!!!!!!!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
I Got Your Back

A few weeks ago, I was in a car crash.
The last thing I heard was a really loud smash.
I woke up in the hospital, stiff as log.
Sitting in a room, covered with fog.
The doc walked in and gave me a wink.
At first, I didn't know what to think.
The room went black.
Then I felt a painful whack.
"Doc, something is wrong." I cried with a hack.
"Don't worry, mate. I got your back."
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Morons Attempting Poetry
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
I HATE YOU NOT

What is this place and who am I?
I don't remember my name. All I know is that I don't know my name and I can't seem to remember that I don't....uhm. I get the strangest feeling I am beimg watched by those who wish to harm me. Show your faces or your bodies ooooh.
This door in front of me appears to be made of wood but I am made of would nots. However, I haven't the choice in the matter and I must enter. What lies beyond the door, you may axe?
I answer, with my own and chop this door into a pile of nothingness, now scattered at the bottom of my hip stalks. I enter the door, blinded by a light brighter, brighter than the brightest Wonderbread and feeling half as bright.
As my eyes adjust to my current surroundings, I see a table and a tea set. Well I do feel a tad parched, why not quench my thirst in my quest to quench and clench for the answers to this conumdrum. Hmmm, this teapot feels heavier than it appears. What? It does not dispense tea, it is dispensing a look into what I feared the most.
Bones.
What can this mean, I have done know wrong, as far as YOU know. And these bones look like they belonged to a man who has aged with plenty experience under his belt but is unable to apply them in his current enviornment. And yet, he was a happy man. A happy man of bones. And now, holding his bones, I am the bone-ee and him, the bone-er.
I now know what I must do. There is a great evil that eminates from this place. Pure chaos and anarchy run the show and I, a lone unknown, must organize and make sense of this putrid mismash of poopy diarrhea. Though they all are not connected by any visible means, I shall make them all aware of a common root, from which they sap away the nutritious.....uhm....dammit I lost my place.
You shall become aware of my presence soon and these bones will not have been spilled in vain.
See you soon.
Category:Beings
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta