Echo chamber

AAAAA: Hello, and welcome, everybody! (taps gavel) I, AAAAAThe actual names in this document have been redacted for legal purposes only., am your host for this evening. Tonight, our five-member round table will have a lively, and possibly heated, discussion about echo chambers and how they are an incredibly positive boon to the well-oiled functioning of our society at large. So, put up a chair one and all; I'm sure we'll all have an agreeable time together. 
==Mutual appreciation==
BBBBB: Oh, wow I have been so looking forward to this, AAAAA! May I also take this opportunity to complement you on your dashing attire? 
AAAAA: Well, thank you kindly, BBBBB! As we all most likely believe, BBBBB is without doubt a truly perceptive and insightful participant of this open forum, the only place in America where true free speech abounds. Isn't that right, CCCCC?
CCCCC: No doubt about that, AAAAA! Let's also give a warm welcome to our distinguished and eloquent colleague DDDDD, who hails from just across the hallway from me. 
DDDDD: As ever, very happy to be here, CCCCC! There's nothing more delightful than giving air to my strongly held political opinions and finding out that everybody else in this room thinks exactly the same way I do. 
EEEEE: Yes indeed, DDDDD, polite discourse about topics where everybody is on the same side of things makes for great fun, and you don't even have to think too hard. 
CCCCC: (casts a brief sideways glance at EEEEE, but resumes smiling anyway) 
AAAAA: Enough of this gay banter, already. Let's all dive right into the sordid mess, shall we? 
==The circle jerk begins==
===Misconceptions about echo chambers===
AAAAA: QUESTION ONE: Why do some people "out there", who by the way we have absolutely no intention of ever talking with or even listen to, find echo chambers an unproductive means of arriving at proper decisions? 
CCCCC: Oooh, I think know! Because they simply don't understand that the hashing-out of honest disagreements inevitably leads to bitterness and mutual distrust for all concerned? 
BBBBB: I've got to concur with that, CCCCC! If only more folks would come around to our way of thinking about echo chambers, we'd all be lots better off. Especially us! 
DDDDD: Me too! It just pains me to have to bear the burden of having to leave this comfortable little air-conditioned room at the end of our discussion, go back home, and scream and bitch and holler at my wife and kids all because of their tiniest little annoying complaints. It's like they all seem to have a mind of their own! 
EEEEE: I know the feeling, DDDDD! In fact, I'm considering renting out a 4-by-4-by-4 padded cell just so I can be alone with my own thoughts whenever I feel unjustly coerced into considering alternative viewpoints. The nerve of them inconsiderate guys!!! 
CCCCC: (does a quick double-take at EEEEE, which passes unnoticed)
AAAAA: Okay, I think we all agree on that point. Let's move on to our next topic.
===Benefits of being confined to an echo chamber===
AAAAA: QUESTION TWO: What is the bestest thing ever about our little closed-door nightly gatherings? 
DDDDD: As for me, I find that modern politics has become so horribly mean-spirited that I absolutely need to get away from it all 100 percent of the time, if only it were that easy. This little gathering does wonders to preserve my sanity. 
BBBBB: I couldn't agree more, DDDDD! Its like a slice of heaven where there's not a single speedbump to potentially derail my singularly important train of thought. CHOO, CHOO! 
EEEEE: I couldn't have said it any better than that, BBBBB! So I won't even try. 
CCCCC: A wise decision, EEEEE! No need to even potentially run the risk of ruffling anybody's feathers, you know. 
EEEEE: What do you mean by that?
CCCCC: Just saying that your consideration of BBBBB's sensitive feelings is exemplary to the max. Way to go! 
EEEEE: What exactly are you implying? That maybe we're all taking this echo chamber business a tad too far? 
CCCCC: Well, what the fuck do you think? 
AAAAA: Alright, alright! Let's not get into anything that we will regret in the morning, guys and gals and whatnot. (nervous laughter all around)
===Summary: Echo chambers in general===
AAAAA: Well, it looks like the big digital clock on the wall is telling us that we're almost out of time, folks! So, a quick poll for QUESTION THREE: Do you think that echo chambers are the single greatest thing ever conceived of, yes or no? I'll start by saying a resounding Yes! 
BBBBB: Yes!
CCCCC: Yes!
DDDDD: Yes!
EEEEE: No. 
DDDDD: (GASP!)
==Trouble in paradise==
CCCCC: I knew it! I knew it all the time! We've got a goddamn traitor in our midst! 
BBBBB: How could this have happened??? WTF, EEEEE, have you no shame? 
EEEEE: Well, what did I do? 
DDDDD: You disagreed with us, you insensitive piece of shitty flotsam! 
BBBBB: (gently sobs)
CCCCC: Now look what you've done, you monster! You've gone and hurt BBBBB's feelings! 
EEEEE: Sorry about that, but I've been wondering lately... 
DDDDD: Thinking for yourself, eh? Well, we can't have any of that, now. I hereby and strongly recommend that we kick out this reckless contrarian bastard for the immediate benefit of all four of us, posthaste and with all due speed! Who's with me? 
CCCCC: Seconded! 
AAAAA: Motion proposed and seconded. Any objections? 
EEEEE: Well, I have an objection... 
AAAAA: OVERRULED! You, of all people, should know that objections are NOT ALLOWED in here. By a unanimous vote of 4-0, with 1 uncooperative naysayer, I hereby rule that EEEEE shall be kicked out of our little echo chamber immediately, never to return! EVER! 
EEEEE: Okay... (hangs head in shame)... Looks like I'll have to find something else to do with my spare time... (exits)
AAAAA: (angrily stands on table) And leave your free-beer-and-pizza pass at the front desk, you unrepentant fraud!!! 
===Notes===
category:Politicscategory:Self-reference