Counter-Strike: Text-based version

Whoops! Maybe you should get a life. l?
Counter-Strike: Text-based version are not be to confused with fish. 
==Counter-Strike: Console Version==
Mushroomman146 creates PwnageServer
Mushroomman146 has joined PwnageServer
Mushroomman146: Hello anyone here?
OwnageMuffin has joined PwnageServer
OwnageMuffin: Hi.
Mushroomman146: Hey sup.
OwnageMuffin: Not much... hey wtf is up why r there no graphics?
Mushroomman146: Its text-based n00b... text-based CS.
OwnageMuffin: Wow i paid $50 for this? im leaving the game
OwnageMuffin is leaving PwnageServer
You cannot leave the game
OwnageMuffin: wtf??? why cannot i leave game?
Mushroomman146: lol i disabled it. its a mod.
OwnageMuffin: what? well ill turn off my comp u little shit
OwnageMuffin is turning off his computer.
You cannot turn off your computer.
OwnageMuffin: omg this sucks. let me leave server!
Mushroomman146: hehe i cannot :). not even i can leave.
OwnageMuffin: wow thats dumb. ill just unplug my comp
OwnageMuffin is unplugging his computer
OwnageMuffin has unplugged his computer. Computer has now resorted to battery power. Battery life remaining: 956 years
OwnageMuffin: OMFG!!! i didn't know my PC had battery power. and why does the battery last for 956 years?
Mushroomman146: try everything u like. u cannot leave!!
OwnageMuffin has begun to hit his computer with a large hammer
OwnageMuffin's computer is armor-plated. Not even a nuke can destroy it.
OwnageMuffin: omg this sucks... now the hammer's broken
OwnageMuffin attempts to run away from his computer.
The door is for some reason locked and the phone is disabled.
OwnageMuffin attempts to bash the door open with his broken hammer
The hammer is broken. It does not work on the door.
OwnageMuffin: why does everything i do appear on the screen?
Mushroomman146: lol i dunno. now lets play!!
OwnageMuffin: no! dude this is freaky. im gonna call the cops. 
OwnageMuffin picks up his phone and dials 911
OwnageMuffin's phone has been disabled somehow. He cannot call anyone
OwnageMuffin: fuck! wtf is going on?
Mushroomman146: lol now we can play CS text-based version for 956 years!!!
OwnageMuffin: ok fine. theres nothing else in my room that'll help me pass the time.
Mushroomman146: I eat poop for breakfast. Please eat my shit. PLEASE YOU ASSHOLE
Mushroomman146 has joined the counter-terrorist team
OwnageMuffin has joined the terrorist team
Mushroomman146 has bought Five-Seven and secondary ammo
OwnageMuffin has bought Desert Eagle and secondary ammo
OwnageMuffin: ok how do u play this... i hav no idea.
Mushroomman146: lol im not gonna tell u... i like winning :D
Mushroomman146: i repeat, lol im not gonna tell u... i really like winning :D
OwnageMuffin is planting the bomb
Bomb has Been Planted
Mushroomman146 kills OwnageMuffin with headshot using Desert Eagle
Bomb has Been Defused, CTs Win
MWP: Mushroomman146 for defusing bomb
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: what? omg tell me how to play
Mushroomman146: its like normal CS controls except u cannot see anything
Round 2 started
OwnageMuffin: omg how can u move around and shit if u cannot see anything?
Mushroomman146: lol i dunno
Mushroomman146 has bought MP5 and primary ammo
OwnageMuffin attempts to buy AK-47 and primary ammo
OwnageMuffin cannot afford this
OwnageMuffin: what?
Mushroomman146: lol u cannot afford it
OwnageMuffin: but it says its $3000. i hav like $4000
Mushroomman146: lol i turned on another mod. only CTs can buy weapons now :)
OwnageMuffin: omg u cheating noob
Mushroomman146 has killed OwnageMuffin with headshot from MP5
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: omg this sucks im gonna try and kill myself now
Mushroomman146: but ur already dead
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin no in rl u idiot
OwnageMuffin attempts to hit himself on the head with the broken hammer
The hammer is broken. It does not kill OwnageMuffin
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: this is seriously freaky dude. how can it tell what im saying?
Mushroomman146: lol i dunno.
OwnageMuffin bashes his head into his armor-plated computer
The computer is not armor-plated and does not kill OwnageMuffin
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: omg yes! the comp isn't armored anymore!
OwnageMuffin kicks his computer
OwnageMuffin's computer is armor-plated. It does not get damaged.
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: ok...
OwnageMuffin bashes his head into his armor-plated computer
The computer is not armor-plated and does not kill OwnageMuffin
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: wtf is up with this?
OwnageMuffin kicks his computer
OwnageMuffin's computer is armor-plated. It does not get damaged.
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: this is seriously fucking weird man
Mushroomman146: lol who cares. im gonna change map
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: what map? u cannot see anything. 
Mushroomman146: lol yes u can omg
Mushroomman146 has changed map
Loading...
Map loaded
OwnageMuffin: what map is this?
Mushroomman146: de_dust
OwnageMuffin: lol it hasn't changed. all i can see is a white background with words on my screen
Mushroomman146 has joined the counter-terrorist team
Mushroomman146 has bought M4A1 and primary ammo
OwnageMuffin has joined the terrorist team
OwnageMuffin attempts to buy AK-47 and primary ammo
OwnageMuffin does not have enough money
Mushroomman146: remember?
OwnageMuffin: oh yeh of course U CHEATING NOOB
OwnageMuffin: this sucks
Mushroomman146 kills OwnageMuffin with headshot from M4A1
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: omg how do u keep getting headshots if u cannot see anything?
CTs Win!
Mushroomman146: coz im good at this game lol
Round 2 started
xCreamyx has joined the game
xCreamyx: hey guys
OwnageMuffin: omg dont join!! now u cannot leave for like 900 years
Mushroomman146: 956 years lol
OwnageMuffin: thanks thats helpful
xCreamyx: hey Mushroom
Mushroomman146: oh hey creamy i remember u from that game we played last century
xCreamyx: lol yeh that lasted like a millenium
xCreamyx: i didn't know that horse powered comps could last so long lmao
OwnageMuffin: u guys r weird plz let me leave i wanna die!!!
xCreamyx has joined the counter-terrorist team
xCreamyx has bought Steyr AUG and primary ammo
OwnageMuffin: omg thats not fair put him on my team coz i suck at this
xCreamyx kills OwnageMuffin with headshot from Steyr AUG
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: omg this really fucking sucks
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: wait... ill only live for like 70 or 80 years more... so i wont be here for the whole game!!! w00t!! w00t!!
CT Wins
xCreamyx: lol mushroom i read yesterday in the newspaper that if u spend ur whole life on the comp u can live for up to 1000 years... thats how we lived through that last 1000-year long game
Mushroomman146: hey thats cool
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
478 years later...
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: ok well thats the 5 trillionth time uve killed me i think
Mushroomman146: nope the 7,898,554,243,957th time
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: right
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: fuck im growing a beard!!!
xCreamyx: hey guys its my 2109th birthday today
Mushroomman146: happy birthday creamy man
xCreamyx: thanks
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: FUCK U!!!!!
Starting round 7,898,554,243,958
Mushroomman146 kills OwnageMuffin with headshot with Arctic Warfare Magnum
CTs Win
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: omg plz let me die
xCreamyx: nice shot mushroom
Mushroomman146: thx man
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: FUCK U!!!!!
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: omg... how many years hav passed ive lost count
Mushroomman146: 478
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: wow almost over!!
Mushroomman146: nope u said ur comps battery life was 956 years so we're halfway
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: omg HALFWAY
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
xCreamyx: wow ownage hav u got one of those battery-powered PCs?
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: i had no idea it was battery-powered... and why has no1 joined the game since 2006?
MoonMan87 has joined the game
MoonMan87: wassup guys and happy new year 2484!!!
Mushroomman146: hey thx moonman
xCreamyx: ya happy new year to u to mate
Starting round 7,898,554,243,959
MoonMan87 has joined the counter-terrorist team
MoonMan87 has bought pump-action shotgun and primary ammo
OwnageMuffin: omg join my team!!!
MoonMan87: na sry muffin all us guys here on the moon base like CT team better :)
OwnageMuffin: moon base?
OwnageMuffin: wow this is getting wierder by the second
xCreamyx: IM A DONKEY
OwnageMuffin: ok thats it
OwnageMuffin: spam
OwnageMuffin: spam
OwnageMuffin: spam
OwnageMuffin: spam
OwnageMuffin: spam
OwnageMuffin: spam
MoonMan87 kills OwnageMuffin with heashot from pump-action shotgun
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: grrr
CTs Win
Another 478 years later...
MoonMan87: happy new year 2962!!!
xCreamyx: woot
Mushroomman87: yay
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: FUCK U
Mushroomman87: hey ownage the games over
xCreamyx: aw
MoonMan87: that was fun
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: YES!!!!
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: IM FREE!!!
Mushroomman146: hey ownage to thank u for joining my game ive sent u a present over my teleporter
OwnageMuffin: teleporter wtf...
Mushroomman has sent OwnageMuffin a gun through his teleporter
Gun appears in front of OwnageMuffin
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: tyvm TYVM wooot!!!
-DEAD- OwnageMuffin: goodbye u no-lifing little shits!!!!
OwnageMuffin has shot himself
OwnageMuffin is dead
OwnageMuffin has been automatically kicked
Mushroomman146: glad he liked my present
MoonMan87: now hes dead tho lol
xCreamyx: heh he wanted to die
Mushroomman146: yah
MoonMan87: hey that was a sweet game what say we hav another one
Mushroomman146: awesome ill set the kill limit to 1,000,000,000,000,000 this time :)
xCreamyx: heh i love this game
Mushroomman146: u no he could hav just got off the computer
xCreamyx: whatev man lets play
Diablo9000 has joined the game
Diablo9000: hi guyz im pretty pro
xCreamyx: join the terrorists lol and get owned
Mushroomman146: yoz
Moonman87: halo i am 1401 years old
Diablo9000 has joined the terrorist team
Diablo9000 bought a katana
Mushroomman146: wtf?? im the host and i dun allow swords
Diablo9000: free open-source software yo
xCreamyx: wtf? our version is v0.124184444, urs?
Diablo9000: v0.124184445 haha anyone can mod weapons
Moonman87: omfg l33t.
Diablo9000: no this is more l33t...
Diablo9000TheClone1 has joined the game
Diablo9000TheClone1 has joined the terrorist team
Diablo9000TheClone1 has bought a ninja-star
Diablo9000TheClone2 has joined the game
Diablo9000TheClone2 has joined the terrorist team
Diablo9000TheClone2 has bought a dynamite
Diablo9000TheClone3 has joined the game
Diablo9000TheClone3 has joined the terrorist team
Diablo9000TheClone3 has bought a AK-01-handgun
Diablo9000TheClone4 has joined the game
Diablo9000TheClone4 has joined the terrorist team
Diablo9000TheClone4 has bought a tree
Another 478 years later
Diablo9000TheClone286800177 has joined the game
Diablo9000TheClone286800177 has joined the terrorist team
Diablo9000TheClone286800177 has bought a rock
Diablo9000: shyt no more memory lets get the game started
Mushroomman146: hah noob i can handle way more than that
xCreamyx: omfg 1337 hax wtfbbq imba
MoonMan87: i am 1879 years old
Terrorists win
Diablo9000: yay
Terrorists win
Mushroomman146: wtf? i only pressed B
Terrorists win
xCreamyx: stop i 1 2 type something
Terrorists win
Diablo9000: bah no kick im leaving
Diablo9000 has left the game
Diablo9000TheClone1 has left the game
Diablo9000TheClone2 has left the game
Diablo9000TheClone3 has left the game
Diablo9000TheClone4 has left the game
again, 478 years later
Diablo9000TheClone286800177 has left the game
MoonMan87: hey lag lag ohhh im 2279 years old
MoonMan87: ah look a cheese on my comp!!!
*dies*
Lead_pumper12 has joined the game
Lead_pumper12: wait, oh shit o FUCK i remember what this game does!!!
Lead_pumper12 is trying to leave the room
You cannot leave the room
Lead_pumper12: ossie (And whoever added "Ossie is") is gay Gay GAY!!!!!
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 spawned explosive barrel
Lead_pumper12 shoot a explosive barrel
*Barrel Explo-*
Server Crash
this was extremely boring
Category:Games
Category:Long articles that ramble on about nothing