Star Wars Episode 1.5: Jar Jar Gone Wild

It was a fine day on the planet of Naboo, and Jar Jar was taking a stroll through Theed with his friends, Padme, Anakin, and Obi Wan Kenobi. Anakin, however, was thinking some serious thoughts.
"Jar Jar, what if someone tries to take advantage of your innocence?" he questioned.
"What do yousa mean?" asked Jar Jar.
"Even though you're a great warrior, a Sith Lord might try to take advantage of your strength and bravery someday and convince you to join them."
"No. That won't happen to meesa. Meesa okeeday for now!" dismissed Jar Jar.
What the friends didn't know is that three Sith Lords were following Jar Jar.
The first Sith Lord was a Gungan dressed in a pink leather thong, the second Sith Lord was a Gungan wearing straightjacket, and the third one was a Gungan wearing a royal robe and crown.
"Greetings, Bombad General!" said the first Sith Lord.
"Who being yousa?" asked Jar Jar, who was already licking the three Sith Lords in confusion.
"Meesa called Darth Lust!"
"Meesa called Darth Pyschopath!"
"And meesa called Darth Superior!"
"We are the Sith Lords of maturity! We shall take control of Jar Jar Binks and control his thoughts forever!" said Darth Lust!
"Shut up, Shit Lords!" screamed Anakin.
"Anakin! Watch your language!" said Padme.
"You can't just hurt our friend like that!" said Obi-Wan Kenobi, as he was about to use his lightsaber to fight off the evil trio...however, he noticed that Jar Jar had taken his lightsaber! Then, Jar Jar turned the lightsaber on and shoved it up his ass!
"Oooooohhhh yeahhhh!!!!!!!! Meesa likin' dis!" moaned the Gungan as his asshole was being torn apart by the lightsaber.
Anakin, Padme, and Obi-Wan Kenobi were shocked! These Sith Lords just made a horrible, depraved act happen to their friend. Anakin's greatest fear would also come true, because there was no way that Jar Jar would be able to snap out of the mind control the Sith Lords put him under.
"Dat was so hot!" moaned Jar Jar after he came all over Padme.
"See? Our plan is working perfectly!" Darth Psychopath said.
Next, Jar Jar walked to Lake Paonga and swam to Otoh Gunga naked. Everyone else gasped in SHOCK! He then grabbed a gooberfish and shoved it onto his penis, moaning in pleasure as its mouth sucked on his dick. "Dat was fun!" Jar Jar said after he finished.
But then, Captain Tarpals appeared!
"Jar Jar, yousa cannot show yous private parts in public! Isa bad reputation for our city!" he said stupidly and moronically.
"Stupid authority figures! Yousa have no control over us!" Darth Superior said, as he mind- controlled Jar Jar to karate chop Captain Tarpals to the legs, shattering the bones into a bloody explosion of sharp shards that flew off everywhere and impaled several nearby Gungans, critically injuring them! Before Captain Tarpals even had the chance to fall down or even scream, Jar Jar jumped into the air and kicked him in the face, making his head not only snap his neck, but also be utterly dislodged from his shoulders, sending it flying through the air.
"You made Jar Jar a murderer! You should be ashamed of yourselves!" Anakin yelled to the three Sith Lords.
"But dat's just dha beginning of our plans..." moaned Darth Lust sexually as as he pointed in Jar Jar's direction.
Boss Nass and his representatives were walking to where Jar Jar was standing. He got absolutely shocked at all the destruction and the fact that Jar Jar Binks was naked!
"Jar Jar, what have yousa DONE?" said the Gungan leader in despair, falling to his knees.
Then Jar Jar approached him and took off all his clothes!
"What do you think you're doing!?" asked Padme.
"Meesa gonna fuck ebbybody! Starting with da Bosses!" Jar Jar giggled happily.
"Now, Jar Jar will loose his virginity and have sex with everyone on the planet of Naboo!" said Darth Pyschopath.
Jar Jar then kissed Boss Nass. Boss Nass was very eager to be doing this, he did not care one bit for Jar Jar as a person, he only wanted sex from him ever since Jar Jar became a productive member of society. Now, all those years paid off and he was having sex with him, and Boss Nass' Gungan representatives were MASTURBATING furiously.
"Go for it, you Gungan asshole!" said Rep Been, cheering for Jar Jar Binks.
Anakin could not bear to look. Now, because he and his friends were in the wrong place at the wrong time, Jar Jar was going to turn to the Dark Side!
"STOP CORRUPTING MY FRIEND! JAR JAR MEANS A LOT TO ME, MY TEACHER, AND PADME!" Anakin yelled.
"Shut up, you whiny brat!" said Darth Superior, using the Force to create a black hole that sucked Anakin and Obi-Wan up.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Inside the black hole, there was a place that looked like an abandoned version of Corusant. From the Jedi Temple came an evil laugh, and a green, pointy eared creature wearing a black robe walked out of there. It was... YODA! He had become a Sith Lord, too!
"Join me in hell, you petty Jedi should!" said Yoda.
And so our story ends with Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker being taken to the darkest depths of hell and righteously suffering for ten thousand years. Darth Lust, Darth Superior, and Darth Psychopath, however, didn't suffer and continued to torture Anakin and Obi Wan Kenobi as they truly deserved. As for Jar Jar Binks, he became the Sith Lord known as Darth Rapist, and raped innocent people and Jedi. Padme was saddened by Jar Jar's choice to join the Dark Side, and after she was raped by him, she resigned from her position as the Queen of Naboo. Boss Nass became Darth Jar Jar's apprentice, while the Gungans became sex-crazed creatures due to Jar Jar mind controlling all the Gungans in the galaxy, and they all had orgies happily ever after.
Category:Lost Episodes
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Category:Pointless Violence
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