Biodiesel

Biodiesel is an alternative fuel for vehicles that is supposedly "better" for the environment, when in reality it permits greenhouse gases into the environment. You know what that means? You’re screwed! Because when you start breathing it in you’re gonna be like.. hot damn! I'm dying n' such! So just a few tips about biodiesel, number 1: don't mess with it, 2: if you do, don't drink it, and 3: don't huff it.
==The Discovery of Biodiesel==
Around the 1800's or whatever, Frederick De Gauy invented a steam engine that ran off carrots. Frederick, however, was unaware that the resultant COMMUNIST RAYS would have an adverse effect on his neighbor, Karl Marx. From that point in history we see biofuel of all sorts at communist events around the world. The potato powered car was invented shortly before the Russian revolution. Ho Chi Minh loved to putter around in his rice burning segway. Chairman Mao had a rickshaw that was pulled by a little robot man who ran off bamboo shoots. Already we can see the adverse effects in America: experts show a rise of communist by %10,000,000 since the American revolution. This could be attributed to Ben Franklin's giant mechanical spider that ran off beets and human leavings. Though vital for the war effort, the giant arachnid sent huge clouds of communism into the atmosphere, which began to fall back to America since the early 20's. It doesn't help that Ben Franklin left the engine running shortly after installing his new invention, the infinite beet and feces generator. Experts predict that as communist emissions continue to grow, the entire world will be dead by the year 0 AE.
==Rapeseed in Biodiesel==
For some strange reason, Rapeseed, also known as rape, is in biodiesel. Hmmmmmmmmm. Gosh, I wonder what that could mean?
==How to Stop the Communist Menace==
Ready to lose hope? After all, it appears that the greenies and commies have already won. But don't be afraid! There's something YOU can do! It's easy! It's simple! And there's no better way to save the America you love.
Step one: Start burnin' tires! Rubber and other synthetics have been known to release rays of
*Capitalism
*Manliness
*Graphic Violence
*Awesomeness in general
So start burning! You might wonder, "How do I know if I'm burning enough?" Just remember this simple rhyme: "Clear skies and air, Commies be there! But skies of Black, then you're okay Jack!"
Step Two: It's not enough to simply add more capitalism. You have to defuse the already present communist rays. How? 
By increasing your carbon emissions! Airborne carbon is the best known substance for soaking up communist rays. Those greenies will try to trick you with their talk of "Global Warming" but don't believe it. They just want to keep the carbon from stopping the communism. DON'T BE FOOLED! Emmit carbon like you never had before.
And thats it! If you follow the simple two step program you could save the America you know and love. You'll be a hero! So what are you waiting for? Get burning!
==How Biodiesel is Made==
Biodiesel is made is made by a very simple step by step process. The ingredients include, red dye #4 (red for COMMUNISM!), Rapeseed known as rape, fudge, lots and lots of corn, PURE bacon grease, stolen babies, twelve buckets of lard, a candlestick maker, and a cup of love, COMMUNIST LOVE. This mixture must be allowed to rot for twelveteen days, while continuously being stirred by zombies. Occasionally a zombie falls in, which regretfully lowers the octane level.
Some biodiesel is made from the fat corpses of vanquished capitalists.
COMMUNISM!
==Communist Lies About Biodiesel==
You may hear talk of "conservation", "Global Warming", or even "Recycling", but don't believe it! They are all COMMUNIST LIES that are designed to assimilate America to it's very core. Review the following facts.
# Conservation is just fancy talk for environmental anorexia. I mean, if the resources are out there we need to exploit them before the commies do! All this talk of preservation is just to keep all the best old growth around until the new communist regime comes and cuts them down for themselves! Do you think anyone actually cares about tree owls? Pha-shaw!
# Global warming, as shown above, is simply a lie perpetrated by communists to prevent precious communist ray absorbing airborne carbon from, well, absorbing communist rays. Burn some oil wells people!
# Recycling is actually an environmentalist conspiracy to put lumber, paper, plastic, and mining interests out of business, thus preserving our nations resources for the new communist order and weakening our economy simultaniously. By recycling paper we take money from the mouths of lumberjacks, truckers, and paper mills. Recycling plastic and metal does similar damage to the synthetics and mining industries. Even worse, landfill truckers, diggers, and fillers have lost jobs to this socialist evil. Do the economy and the little man a favor, and WASTE, WASTE, WASTE!