A close encounter with Michale the Leroi

I was about 12 when it happened. Much like everyone else. I don't think I have ever met a youtubing brit before, tho I don't think I want to after the experience I had...
I just got a job at the Illuminati Ltd and I was so happy that i finally found a job. my friend Kyle sent me a letter that said: BEWARE OF A KID NAMED JEFF!!!!11!!1. I figured it was a glitch and threw it in the garbage can. A few days later I was sitting in the
assroom waiting for my friends Kyle and Valorie. Valorie Hutson. Then my teacher announced that we got a new classmate. His first name was Jeff and his second name was The Killer. He told me about some brit named Michael who tells oscar nominated stories on an internet. I said "cool" and floated out the room as everyone were frozen with shock and fear. After 5 minutes they could thouch themselves again.
I was playing sonic r the next day and a pic of sonic said "I AM GOD". I wanted to win the game but strict atheism got the better of me as I shut off the TV. But the screen was still on. I threw a piece of granite on it and went to bed. But a nightmare haunted me that night. I was in a dark room with a bunch of Chuck E Cheese rats playing football but with chairs and scientists instead of a football. They were beast versions of the mascots Then a wild brit appeared and his name... was Michael Leroi. He said "Ur l8 4 w0rk, m80". I woke up in an ocean of sweat. When I swam to shore The boss of Illuminati Ltd said "Come into this top secret room and watch this unreleased episode with us!".
I did and on the tape was squidward and sally acorn having an eating contest when Naruto came out of the hot dog with the menu theme of Mario Party 9 playing in reverse. We went apeshit and ran off while Jeff The Fucker joined me and said "You want these shades and a cigarette while looking ultra cool?". I thought nothing of it and saw Thomas and Valorie. Valorie Hutson. They were if not acting as if they were totally oblivious of our presence. I pushed him so hard he fell on a tomb stone that exploded on impact. He got up and said "There you are! I wanted to play ball with you two!" so we did. Boy, I wish I hadden't. Thomas totally kicked my ass and to this day my feet ache and are soar. Jeff liked it though. He got a boner from my brain damaged feet.
A day later Jeff said "Your hair looks like a bag of smashed dicks". I didn't want to look like a shit so I went home from work to dye my hair. I lit myself on fire and fell down the stairs. I woke up in my toilet and looked in the mirror. "FUUCK!!!11!" I yelled "I WANTED PINK HAIR AND NOT SHIT-BROWN!!" I looked terrible but Jeff said it looked hyper-realistic so I didn't think it was that bad.
Later, at the Illuminati Ltd a man named Michael confronted me. He told me that he was a brit and read oscar nominated stories at an internet as he threw the carkeys in the bowl. I was about to say "cool" and float out the room, leaving him frozen in terror but then it hit me; this brit can transport through dream world to real world! That clever fucker. I was rather disturbed by him as he reached out his arm (tentacle) to touch me. His smile faltered, obviously noticing that I wasn't responding. A toppler flew by but Michael was too shocked to notice. Then a prism shaped Jeffrey McKillerThe broke the silence saying "Thomas died and Kyle is sent to JDC". I didn't believe my eyes so asked him to say it again. He stabbed my shoulder and ran off. What a twat.
I called Kyle to ask why he was in JDC. He said "Jeff. Jeff killed Thomas and the police think I did it. It's just part of Jeff's plan". I thought nothing of it since Jeff invited me to a LAN party.
When I arrived the weather was on so I ran in quickly. We set me on the couch and played all the classics together. You know Sonic R, Mario 666, Sonic.exe, Meleee, etc. Jeff said "Michael Leroi is kewl". I replied with "Does he have a hyper-realistic arm (tentacle)?" Jeff said in an outrageous French accent "Oh, yes it's very nice". I was starting to get a bit wierded out by him and his obsession with this dimension jumping brit was getting creepy. Maybe he was hiding something from me. Something far more sinister.
Valorie. Valorie Hutson was found dead in her room with an episode of "BAD CREEPYPASTA" on the monitor and in the corner of the room Kyle was hanging from the ceiling with a noose around his ankle. He was dead as well. It seemed like he killed Valorie. Valorie Hutson and then attempted to hang himself but forgot how the human body works and simply hung around until he died of starvation. Jeff didn't seem to care tho. He just took my phone and subscribed to MichaelLeroi on my account. "I haven't even seen one of his videos" I said. Jeff replied with "It will get worse". WTF was he saying? Maybe Kyle's note wasn't a glitch... and Jeff... was actually a meanie!
Wait...
Valorie. Valorie Hutson was watching a MichaelLeroi video...
Jeff is obsessed with that guy...
His surname is The Killer...
Could Jeff be...?
"Hey, Jeff" I said to Jeff. "wut?" he replied. "Who are you?!" I asked. "wut?" he replied. I got pissed and pulled his hair so hard it came off and I fell backwards. I was holding a mask. I looked up. And there... Sitting on my bed... Staring right at me... Was MichaelLeroi. "So you did have more than 3 braincells after all" he said. I turned on the chainsaw and attepted to kill him. I wanted to avenge my friends. Kyle... Thomas... Valorie... Valorie Hutson... But Jeff (Michael) was 2fast4me and floated out the window in lightspeed I entered the truck outside and drove after him. He flew all the way to Sweden where he settled down in a small slender forest. I followed him and upon exiting the car I saw a hyper-realistic corpse. Miceff must have killed that purson in the haste and I hated him even more. I finally confronted him. "I'm gonna call Illuminati Ltd and were gonna kick your ass!" I said but Miceff The Leroi just said "Shhhhhhhhhhh.... Just.... Go to kip" I went to the basement and grabbed a katana. I slashed off Miceff's arm (tentacle) and hyper-realistic blood squirt out Quentin Tarantino style. A loud crrrack was audible from his shoulder. Miceff was mad proceeded to slash my face, cut of my ear and burn me alive, but the flames just dyed my hair to vomit green instead as kefka laught while burping pixels. I ran off and killed a dog and used it's skin to fix my face.
Then... My voice was different...
My face was perfect...
And my bank account was filled with cash...
I was Steve Buscemi...
Hyper-realistic blood was still squirting out Miceff's shoulder and I realized that I was victorious. "Now stand aside, worthy adversary" I commanded. "Tis but a scratch" he replied. "A scratch? Your arm's off!". I said. "I've had worse" said Miceff and tried to stab my face. "I HATE YOU!" I shouted as I round-house kicked him in the head, stomach and balls.He shouted "OH GOD NO!" as he died, fast as a leporad.
A few days later I read the news paper and it said "Guy named Jacob found dead with broken balls" I laughed and looked to the left. My laughter turned into a dark, pixelated "Can ye feel the sunshine?".
Cause there...
Sitting on my bed...
Staring right at me...
Was plushy versions of Jacob, Matt and Toby with their eyes missing. They pulled the trigger together and a bullet entered my cranium, therefor I died. I'm somehow still writing this because Steve Buscemi is just that fucking good.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Loads of Characters
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Suicide
Category:Im died
Category:WHAT A TWIST!