Tetris.swf

I wasn't around to experience Tetris in its heyday. I'm just your average nine year old, except I love Tetris. As a result, I don't have many friends. I wish I could live back in the day when Tetrisheads were common and accepted as members of a hardworking society, but the nineties were long gone.
Anyways, I had packed my LUNCHABLES in my Tetris Lunch Box in preparation for the days ahead. Why, you may ask? Well, it was in preparation for the days ahead that I would spend at my grandma's. Unlike my cool house, my grandma had no consoles to play Tetris on. I played it on either my NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM or my GAME BOY, but it appeared that neither one would be at her lousy condominium.
When I arrived at her pad, I sat down on her leather couch and sighed loudly before saying hello. I then saw a computer and (here's some math for you math whizzes out there) computer = Tetris. I hopped on and guessed her password (it was "123abc", wtf grandma? WHO DOES THAT???) with ease, ready to play the one game that I love more than anyone else. I went on mozilla's "FireFox" and opened up bing. I typed in "Tetris", like most people who want to play Tetris would, but I'm no idiot Tetris fanatic. I had bing take me to the 556th page of results, because I knew what the first page had to offer was just phony bogus Tetris. The links on page 556 were either facebook pages dedicated to Tetris (I, being the number one Tetris fan, had already joined every Tetris fanclub ever) or penis enlargement ads or both. There was one link that caught my eye. It just said "tetris.swf". I diligently clicked on it and it opened up Tetris.
From the title screen, it seemed to be like the original GAME BOY version of Tetris, it was black and white and showed that one swirley building. I clicked enter and began to play. The game used the WASD keys for movement and the H and J keys for rotation. Most versions of online Tetris suck because they use the arrow keys for movement and Spacebar for rotation. But that's dumb because you can only rotate one way and using the arrow keys is uncomfortable. So many online versions of Tetris do this, and it's a shame how just a little more thought could've made them so much better. Everything about this port, however, was perfect. Everything except two things. One, instead of music, the game just played noise. Two, the screen flashed black and white violently the whole time. I began to feel dizzy, but it was no big issue.
Since it was Tetris, my favorite game of all time, I was hooked. I remember that the original Tetris for GAME BOY had an ending where a rocket launches off. I had never seen it before, so I was set on seeing it now. I stacked those blocks over and over, achieving several Tetrises and racking up a huge score. In addition, I was also sweating, my heart was pounding, and my veins were popping out of my head. I had just noticed I reached level 20 when I also realized I had reached 999,999,999 points, the highest possible Tetris score. Realizing that I couldn't do any better, I committed Tetris suicide (Tetris sepukku) and stacked the next 5 blocks on top of each other, ending the game. I saw the cutscene where the rocket is launched into space, and I thought "Where is that rocket heading? The moon???". I got the highscore, of course, and punched in my initials.
I exited out of FireFox and logged off of my grandma's computer. I was getting kinda hungry, so I went to ask her for some macaroni and cheese. When I found her, she was staring at the television with a shocked expression on her face. The man on the news channel said that Russia was moments away from winning the Cold War because they had launched a nuclear rocket towards the U.S. The rocket was called the Tetris!!! What a coincidence!!! But what wasn't a coincidence was the initials on the rocket. T.R.M. THOSE ARE MY INITIALS AND THE ONES I PUT IN THE TETRIS GAME I JUST PLAYED. I realized that I had just helped create the rocket that was going to kill me. My grandmother looked at me and said "Congratulations Thomas. You just killed America."
THE END?
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:English Class Failure