Human Nature

"Human Nature" is the 13th episode of Wiksteria Lane.
==Summary==
Jdg98 puts some thought into why he is really mad at Renaboss, his allegedly terminally ill friend, and Lady Junky has the not-so-good idea of inviting her newfound sister, MaryPierceLopez, to become her bridesmaid. Meanwhile, ImmaGleek decides to tell her boss what is really going on in her heart, and Americana makes some shocking revelations...
==Plot==
Lynettefan2626 is confused. He goes through the files Americana has just handed him: police reports on JoséGuerri98. He says he doesn't understand what this is, and Americana fills him in: "A police report on our buddy, Jdg98." "Why in the hell does he have a police file?" Americana says, "It's a standard thing to make police reports on people who allegedly kill their own mothers." Lynette is baffled. "What?..." "Yeah... turns out, your budding kid-next-door ain't what he appears to be. His house burnt down with his mother inside, and the cops think he set it on fire. His dad had a solid alibi. The kid didn't. And apparently he had a thing against good ole papa. He wanted to burn the house down with daddy inside, and wound up killing mommy instead." Lynette's jaw is dropped. "How did he... how did he get away?"; Americana says, "Well, apparently he fled the scene, came here to be with an uncle who had broken off all contact with his family, and started going by another name." Lynette says, "I always knew that kid was no good... I should just bomb his template." Americana smiles and says, "I do enjoy the occasional boom." Lynette says, "Well... this is good. This is exactly the kind of thing we needed. I report him to the community police, he is tracked down and captured, and I come off looking like a saintly law enforcer." Americana is disappointed. "Seems like... too little, right? Too easy?" Lynette asks her where she's getting at, to which she replies, "I wanted to have some more fun first..." Lynette says, "Well... who am I to stand in the way of a girl who wants to have a good time?" Amy is delighted.
In Rena's template, Jdg is having some cocoa and watching the movies channel. The film Casablanca starts.
Flashback - Casablanca is on TV, during one of its most iconic scenes ("Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."), and JMsapphireZ, bald and sickly, is lying on the couch in his old template, when Jdg brings him some hot cocoa. Sapphire comments that he misses drinking gin, and Jdg says he knows that, and gives him his sympathies. Jdg asks what he is watching, and Sapphire answers the question. "Ew, I've seen that before, this movie's fucking boring," Jdg says, to which his uncle replies, with some difficulty, "Watch your mouth, young man... and this movie is a classic. For a good reason. It's marvellous." Jdg says, "Nah, it's really just a boring chick flick. Only black and white and no Katherine Heigl." Sapphire says, "Well, I like it, and God knows I should do as many of the things I like to do and can still do while there's still time." Jdg tells his uncle not to talk like that, because he knows he's gonna make it through the cancer, but Sapphire says, "Son... I'm gonna die. I... just know that. And I am fine with that." "Don't say stuff like that... who's gonna take care of me when you're gone?" "You're gonna... have to take care of yourself. I'm gonna leave... leave everything set up for you, for when I go, so that you can keep the template. Doc and UFO... they're nice enough to make that happen, I'm sure of it." Jdg is not the least bit relieved. "You have to be more optimistic," he says, "You have to believe that you're gonna make it through this. Cos I do." Sapphire smiles with all his strength and says, "Son... you can't... if you knew how I'm feeling right now... I feel... like I'm dying. I am... and it hurts. And I'm glad you're here to help me out and, try to cheer me on, but... prepare yourself, young'n. I'm gonna die." Jdg gets teary-eyed.
In the present time, Jdg turns off the TV and stares at the blank screen for a long while. He then turns it on again and gives the movie a chance.
Lady Junky is having a meeting with QuinnQuinn, who picks up on the fact that the bride-to-be is somewhat different that day. She comments on this, and Lady asks what she means. Quinn says, "Well... you seem happier, but, at the same time, less focused on the wedding." Lady says, "Is impression. Of you." Quinn says, "Ok, then...", and she goes on to talk about how she had this idea, which the local priest and the community central signed off on, to feature a large television screen in the church, just above the altar, and a few microphones, so that people in the back seats can witness the wedding, seeing as how about 300 people from all three major wikis will be attending the wedding of the ruler of Wiksteria Lane and his beautiful First Lady. Lady smiles and says that this is a nice idea, and she then spots Mary and Villain fan coming down the stairs and calls them over. She turns to her young half-sister and says, "Look, Mary, is good you come, and I am happy to meet you, because, I don't have many friends, girl friends, I mean, et... I will be very happy for you to be bridesmaid for me for my wedding." Villain seems content to hear this and tells Lady that this was very nice and kind of her. Lady smiles, and Vf asks his younger daughter what her response is, to which she says, "Meh, whatevs, I guess. But if you make me wear some purple abortion I will kick your face." Lady is horrified, and Quinn even gasps. Villain turns to Mary and says, "Sweetheart, I told you before, that's not what you say when someone does something nice for you. What you say is, you smile, and say thanks. Mary turns to Lady and says, "You smile and say thanks." Vf, frustrated, says, "Not what I meant, but... good starter. I'm glad you girls are getting along. I'm running to the cell phone store now, see you both later." He kisses them both goodbye, and Mary seems kinda grossed out by it. He leaves, and Lady just smiles politely at her young sister, who in turn says, "Whatchulookinat, lesbo?" Lady is shocked.
ImmaGleek enters her boss' office and sits down in front of him. Lynette says, "Please tell me we are not about to have another unpleasant exchange like the one we had yesterday." Imma tells him she figured she'd come this time and tell him how she feels. He tells her to go ahead, clearly uninterested, always looking down at the documents he's signing, and she says, "I feel... hurt. Rejected. Neglected. And reasonably betrayed." He asks why, and she says, "I just don't... understand what I am to you. Where we stand. Look, I know, you can't exactly break things off with Lady, even though we both know you don't actually like her. Everyone knows you live together. You're getting married, it'll be the public and social event of the decade. You've explained to me over and over again that it'd look bad for you and would hurt your career if you left her for your secretary. I get it. But..."; "But what?", he says, and she goes: "But what the fuck am I to you, Lynette? I love you... ever since I took this job, I have loved you like, fricking crazy." He finally looks up at her, and she continues, "Do you? Do you love me too? Am I just a toy to you? The thing you like to screw because Lady won't put out for you? Do you just like the idea of having me around you like a groupie, like, does it nurture your ego?!" Lynette asks, sternly, "Are you done?" She meekly says, "Yes...". "Good. If you're done, then, you can please go and get me those papers I asked you to bring. You know, do your job. Instead of whining to and about me." Imma says, "You're a heartless jerk. I don't know why I even like you." He says, "Because you're a weak, needy girl, with lots of issues and in need of someone to control her." Imma says, "You don't know the first thing about me...", and Lynette says, "Well... you know everything about me. And you know all too well how I deal with unruly employees. So if you don't mind, Imma... get the fuck out of my office and go and do your fucking job." Imma leaves, aggravated. Lynette sighs, as though this has actually cost him a lot.
Renaboss is lying on his hospital bed, when Jdg walks in, and asks, "So... when is the chemo starting?" Rena notices him, is silent for a while, and then says, "Tomorrow. My first session. Hope I can rock the Vin Diesel look." Jdg smiles and sits by his bed. Rena asks what brings him here, and Jdg apologizes for the way he acted the day before. Rena says he is due to apologize too, because he should have never tried to keep Jdg in the dark and treated him like a kid. Jdg says, "But I am... a kid. I'm just... a scared, stupid kid." Rena says, "Hey. Ever since I met you, that was never the impression you gave me. The way you wanna take on Lynette... when you... well, when you confronted UFO... you're just about the bravest stupid kid I know." Jdg smiles and lets himself chuckle. Rena asks how the template is doing, and Jdg says he's been taking good care of it. Rena then asks about UFO, and Jdg explains that his ashes were spread over the entrance of the assembly hall. Rena says, "Makes sense, I guess..." Jdg then says he finally thinks he understands why he got so mad in the first place: he had to watch his own uncle dying of cancer before his eyes. "He was so... he actually wished, I think, he'd died sooner. I remember telling him I believed he was gonna get better. And he did. There was a period near the end... I think they call it 'death's well wishes'... he was good. He was... lively and... seemed cured. Then there was this relapse and he died. I was so..." Jdg gets teary-eyed again and Rena tries to comfort him. The kid goes on to say, "Well, I... knowing you had cancer too, it just... made me angry. Because... it's not fair. It's like I'm cursed or something. It's like... I'm bound to suffer and be alone, with no one looking after me, and the people who do... they get bad and die. It's stupid. Death is stupid, and, diseases are stupid, and..." "Hey.", Rena says, to calm him down, "It's okay. Terminal... it's just a stupid word, right? I actually feel... very well. Pretty much alive and junk. Like, I could get out of this bed and just kick Lynette's skinny ass. Ya know?" Jdg laughs. Rena says, "I think... I'm gonna come out of this just fine." Jdg smiles and says, "Good. Some optimism for a change. I like that." The two continue talking.
Imma notices Lady packing up her purse and asks where she's headed. Lady, bitterly, explains that she is going dress-shopping with her sister. Imma tells her to have fun, but then, as Lady prepares to leave, Imma stops her, claiming to have something to say. Lady asks "What?", angrily, and Imma says, "I just don't get it. I mean... why do you insist so much on going through with this wedding? We all know you don't love him. He doesn't love you. Sure, it's a political sham, it's all nice, but, what good can come out of it for you? Are you that desperate for power?" Lady becomes agitated and furious and says, "I don't have the time for this. I am going to shop dresses." Imma says, "Just... bear with me a little, I won't be long. It's just... I mean, you're marrying a man you don't love just to get some stuff in return. You're not much better than a whore." Lady forgets all her lady-like manners and punches Imma square in the nose. Imma squeaks and squeals as her nose starts to bleed, and she becomes nervous when Lady approaches her. "You listen me. You are the whore. You are the cheap, filthy chienne who sleeps with my fiancé behind backs. You are, how you say? Mistress. A dirty mistress. And I... am a lady. I win, over all you whores. So don't say stuff to me about that, Imma. You, whore, have nothing on me. And in the end, I get the ring on finger, I am official First Lady of Wiksteria Lane, and you... you are still just whore." Lady leaves the house, and Imma is angrier than ever before, as she wipes the blood off on her sleeves.
Americana is trying to get a hold of her hose, but can't get it to work ("Stupid suburban shit", she says). She spots Jdg coming out of the bus, and asks him where he'd gone off to. Jdg says he just got back from the hospital. He notices she's having trouble with the hose and offers to help getting it to work. Americana says, "Oh, I, I thought I told you, whenever you need a lift..." Jdg interrupts her, saying "Oh, yeah, no, I know, I just, I was so upset when I found out about Rena's cancer I blocked everything else out, sorry. Didn't mean to pass up on your offer, that was very nice." Amy says she understands, and asks if he's still upset with Rena. "No, no," the kid says, "He is going through hell right now, so I'm not the one who should be upset. I realized I was being stupid and mean, and we made amends." Americana is disappointed. She asks what is going to happen to Jdg once Rena dies, and he says he's trying to keep his mind set on the idea that Renaboss will live through this and continue to accept him as his roomie. Americana brings up the fact that the cancer is terminal, and Jdg says it could have been misdiagnosed. Amy asks him why he's being dellusional, and he asks her why she's being mean. She says, "I'm not... being mean, I'm being realistic. He has terminal cancer. He's going to die. You need to start accepting that, otherwise you will be hugely disappointed." Jdg isn't pleased. He says, "Look... you're nice and all, but... this isn't a conversation I wanna be having right now. I fixed your hose. We can... I dunno, talk later." He leaves. Americana is frustrated.
Lady and Mary go through some bridesmaid dresses over at the Gallery, a local store that features all sorts of things, including a bridal department. Lady picks up a dress she thinks is pretty, and Mary says, "That's a grandma dress, I want sumthin' sexy." Lady says, "Why are you so unpleasable? You like any dresses," to which Mary replies "I don't know, why does your English gotta suck so fucking much? Mysteries of life." She picks out a pink top and mini-skirt and says, "Now, this, this is more like it." Lady says, "That is not a bridesmaid dress." "Bitch, please, I can put a bowtie on my head or sumthin', my boobs would look awesome in this!" Lady suggests that they keep looking, and her cell phone rings. She sees who it is and asks to be excused (Mary: "Whatevs, I'ma go make out with the cashier."). Lady answers the phone, in a quiet side of the store, and on the other side Renaboss says he is happy to hear her voice again. Lady smiles and says, "You are sweet. But... I can't talk right now. I'm with sister. We're shopping dresses. She's... French kissing the counter boy. Wow." Rena chuckles and says, "I see you got your hands full. Can you come and see me sometime soon? I'd really like to talk to you." Lady says, "I will. Today. Don't worry. Bye." Rena says "Bye." and they both hang up. Lady puts her cell phone in her purse and says, as she heads towards the entrance of the store, "Mary, this is Gallery, not Bordello, let the poor guy down."
Rena puts his cell phone on his bedside rest and turns on the TV, when Villain fan comes in. Rena, not recognizing him, says, "You must be in the wrong room." "Actually, no. It is you I wanted to see." Rena says, "I'm sorry, um... your voice sounds familiar, but I can't put a name to your face. Who are you?" The man says, "I am Villain fan." The answer provokes a reaction in Renaboss, who asks what the man wants from him. Vf sits down next to him and says, "I just... wanted to come by and offer my sympathies. It is truly a terrible predicament, this whole situation you're in. It is certainly not what I had in mind when I sent you here." Rena is confused. "Wait... what? You...?" Vf just smiles. Renaboss looks shocked and rather horrified. "You're the cell phone voice..."
Imma enters Lynette's office, with a band aid over her nose. It's nighttime already. He seems aggravated to see her, but his frustration is dissipated when he notices the band aid and asks what happened. She says he shouldn't worry, she just bumped into a lightpost. Lynette asks her if she'd like the following day off, but Imma says, "Actually, no, I'm fairly certain you might want me around tomorrow." Lynette asks "Why?"; she takes out a bunch of pictures from her purse. Cell phone-taken pictures of Renaboss and Lady Junky making out in the former's hospital room. Lynette is shocked and completely caught off-guard. He grabs the pictures and looks at them one by one. Imma says, "I know... you didn't believe me. That you thought I was just, being deceitful, manipulative, mean, even... to try and break you two up. But evidence like this, it can't be denied, Lynette. She is cheating on you. She doesn't love you." Imma really emphasizes the final sentence. Lynette is silent for a while, looking at the pictures.
Lynette turns to Imma and says, "Could you... could you leave me be, for a minute, please? I... I need to be alone." Imma says, "I understand," and leaves. As she walks out of the room, she is ostentating a victorious smile.
Lynette puts his hands on the desk, head hanging over the spread pictures of her fiancée's affair. Tears come running down his face and he starts gasping and quivering.
Category:Season 2 Category:Episodes