Audino Wants To Pee

Today I decided that I'd desperately need to shit on the Elite Four. My team was pretty weak as hell and stood no chance at all. Shauntal dominated my Pokémon easily, as well as Grimsley. This was beginning to become a problem.
After over 9000 loses against the Elite Four and battling the trainers in the stadiums, I knew there was only one option left, Audino.
Audino gives a lot of EXP and EVs when you beat them, so it's only a natural choice. I set a lucky egg on my Pokémon and went searching.
Luckily there was some grass shaking the moment I went near it, and hey, what do ya know? Audino XD!
I forgot to switch my Emboar out at the beginning,  no matter at least those with EXP share can get some EXP. I hit it with a flamethrower and continued looking for shaking grass.
Usually it's within 200 steps, luckily about 20 steps in I encountered another Audino. At first I thought it might've been shiny since the sprite showed up a bit darker, but disregarded that when I saw it was still pink. Might have just been my lighting :'-(.
I decided to use my Galvantula to knock it out with an Electro Ball. That was easy, and she finally grew a level! Well, back to searching.
Something ended up happening... I ran into another Audino. This one was much different though, I looked at its gender and level...male level 14... No different from the last one, it just grew a level. The thing that made this Audino more noticeable were burn-marks caused by electricity being visible on its body. Not only that, but when it appeared, its cry was much longer and dragged on, and had a bit of a cry added to it.
I decided the easiest way to get this fucked up thing out of my sight was too attack it again. I used bug bite this time and luckily enough, it gained a critical hit and knocked Audino right out.
I was done with this. I didn't wanna get a visit from that disturbing thing again, and went to level grind against Basculins. Sadly, they weren't showing up for some reason... but i didnt give a flying cuck so i forgot the Audino incident I went back into the grass.
I saw a grass-shaking spot and immediately went for it expecting to beat up a normal Audino.
I was greeted by the same Audino... level א‎0 in this situation. Except this time it was clear what my Bug Bite did. It tore out one of the Audino's eyes and hyper realistic blood was sinking down from its socket.
About to hit the FUCK button as soon as it popped up, there was a dialogue before the options showed up... it was Audino...
Audino: Why did you leave me son, biatch? Yo ass was havin funk weren't yo slick ass, biatch? This is what tha fuck you wanted right?
YES/YES
Instantly I selected Yes.
Audino: You're fuckin lyin ta me aren't yo slick ass?
Again, I selected Yes.
Audino: LIAR! Go on wit it, you lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch.
The battle began, right at that moment I hit FUCK.
Audino: FUCK!
I couldn't get away, yet for some reason it was my turn again. The only way to get out of this was to attack Audino. I switched over to my Carracosta and used Hyper-Realistic Splash.
The wild Audino fainted.
Phew. That was over... Now I can get on and ignore the grass shaking spots. Suddenly every step I took the grass shook right in front of the direction I was moving to. Audino was stalking me.
I was greeted this time by the Audino, growing in dong once again, symptoms growing worse on it as part of its left ear was bitten off. That was my Carracosta's dong...
Audino: Are you having fugg yet?
I selected Yes again, how could watching this cute Paukyman suffer like this be FUGG? I thought Audino was one of the cutest things in the world.
Audino: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across theUSA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
The battle began but, what did it mean by everyone does this? Then it hit me, everyone uses Audino for level grinding and EV Training... They abuse how much it gives.
Suddenly Audino said something...
Audino: You fucking know it right? This is how fucking everyone fucking plays with me...
I began to feel a bit sad... but i don't give a shit and hate Obama so i knock it out again... I switched my Pokémon to a Sadfish and began attacking. Using Water Sport I easily overpowered the Audino.
Sadly I was getting used to this... even though I didn't want to... I ran into Audino again, this time its right arm was torn off because of Strength.
Playing it smart, I decided a good way that would probably end this... I flew out of the grass and quickly went to the Pokémon center. I traded over my Haxorus and went to put that Audino out of its misery.
Surely enough, Audino popped out again, and it had a reaction to my Haxorus, its sprite was crying, it looked almost like it was staring directly at me in disappointment.
Audino: You fucking want the fucking fun to fucking end? Fucking really?... but... that's not fucking fair... fucking why? Why the fuck do you fucking want this to fucking end? We're having fucking fun... Do you fucking want this to fucking end?
I selected Yes.
Audino then used Endure. That wouldn't work since my Haxorus had mold breaker. I swiftly ended it with a Tackle.
Finally, things can go back to normal... I walked, and once again... Audino showed up.
Hasn't it had enough already?
The Audino popped up... with the scratches on its chest, lines of hyper realistic blood dripping down from them, saying another set of dialogue once again.
Audino: I'm never going to leave.
I turned the game off. I couldn't handle it. I decided to leave it for a few hours and then return. The 3D model of Zekrom had been replaced with EVIL PATRIXXX. Upon pressing start, I was greeted by PATRIXXXS WURLD EET. There was no continue, there was only a New Game. So i press start, And everything was back to normal.
At least... until a wild EVIL PATRIXXX appeared...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:Pokemon
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Collab
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT