Brave New United Kingdom

"Will all soulless husks of human beings please report to the incinerator room." said the intercom as a line of political politicians marched towards the new incinerator room, added to burn all of Prime Minister David Cameron's pervious opponents as he watches from his high command room, stroking his white puffy cat. 
"Yes! I've won once more!" yelled Prime Minister Cameron in joy as he tossed his cat up in the air and catches him as he falls back down. 
"It was easy, they stood no chance form the beginning, I was just to powerful for them to even touch!" he stood up from his chair and climbed on top of his desk, in much pride as the Director of Hatcheries and Conditioning, Nick Clegg, came in. 
"Yes, you've conquered the ballots once more! You achieved it with such brilliance and gracefulness, it was simply marvelous!" yelled Clegg as his face showed an expression that was a mix of jealousy and sarcasm. 
"Please, don't insult me trying to appeal as an inspired follower, you're no more then a twat!" insulted Cameron as Clegg started crying like a pussy. "Leave my presence and get my lead propaganda artist, Ed Miliband!" screamed David Cameron as Clegg ran off sobbing to retrieve Miliband. 
"MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes! Sir Williamson! We're rule with an iron fist! You see, we need to enter another war, and you know with who Sir Williamson?" asked Cameron, the cat meowed in an unknowing response. "Oh yes! We're declare war with Holland! I mean, who else to have a war with then somewhere so gay and invisible that only the smallest micronations will notice!" revealed David Cameron as Ed Miliband entered the room. 
"Did you catch all of that Miliband?" questioned Cameron. "Sir, yes, sir!" saluted Miliband as he wore his glorying hot red uniform with blue stripes and black boots with white gloves. "Miliband! What is wrong with you! Your missing the most important piece of your uniform.. get it on right now! I can't stand it!" yelled Cameron as Miliband stepped back. 
"Sir, sorry, sir!" apologized Ed Miliband as he put a paper bag on over his with a poorly painted UK flag on it. "Much better! Now, get to your duties!" yelled Cameron as Miliband marched to his office but accidentally fell out a window due to the size of the paper bag being over his face. 
Propaganda posters were being made all of over the UK as the UK declares war with Holland over a "border dispute". However, the most smallest micronation was noticing this entire plan take place, secretly preparing to save the day, no not Canada, Liberland! 
"We must declare war with the United Kingdom!" ordered founder of Liberland, Vít Jedlička. "That's mad, the UK is way too powerful, they have existed for centuries! We've existed for a couple of months!" said advisor, Henry Ford. "Nonsense! We're nuke them!" yelled Jedlička. "What?" questioned Ford. "I'll simply borrow some old unused missiles from Russia!" said Jedlička as he took out a five dollar bill and smelt it. 
Prime Minister Cameron and Miliband later travel to Holland in have a conference with Netherlands Prime Minister Mark Rutte. 
"Je neuken! Waarom zou je de oorlog te verklaren met Holland zonder reden dipshit!(You fuck! Why would you declare war with Holland for no reason dipshit!)" yelled Rutte over the phone. (Perfect Dutch, trust me, I used Google Translator!) 
"Calm down Rutte, I don't speak Dutch so just let me talk to you the whole time." (What, you expect me to translate the entire time? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) ordered Cameron over the phone. "I'm going to pick you up and I'm going to, say, exchange a "peace treaty"." said Cameron. "A peace treaty, but aren't we supposed to have a war with them?" asked Miliband. 
Cameron then pushes Miliband out of the car as Miliband is thrown right into a pack of trash cans as Cameron drives off. "Meet me at my residence in the United Kingdom, we're discuss further." says Cameron as he ends the phone call as he drives back to the airport having came to Netherlands for no reason, I don't know I needed to kill off Miliband somehow, mate was a liability. 
At Cameron's house, Rutte arrives and is allowed in by DHC Nick Clegg. "Dit beter goed zijn. (This better be good.)" said Rutte as he stretched. "Don't know what you just said, thanks for disobeying me asshole." said Cameron as the author realizes how could Rutte understand Cameron but decided to outright state this to sound like this was all planned, pretend like it was, please. 
Cameron then takes out a suitcase and opens it up, revealing Joseph Stalin's skull, it still had his mustache on it. Rutte stared, shocked, as he fell to the floor, dead. "Ha! It worked! The skull was so powerful it killed him!" revealed Cameron as he closed the suitcase and placed it back under his desk. "Now that the prime minister is dead! We can now send the troops in! Now if Scotland ever tries to declare independence again, we'll have all of Holland... wait, why not all of the Netherlands?" said Cameron as he clenched his fists. 
Meanwhile, Liberland is setting up their nukes. "Ready, set, fire!" yelled Jedlička as he fired the nuclear missiles towards the United Kingdom, bombing it as a wave of nuclear dust covered the entire UK. As Vít Jedlička and Henry Ford visited the wasteland, they found Cameron, alive, under debris, dirt, and wreckage. 
"You realize you just violated the Geneva Convention, right?" pointed out David Cameron as they ignored that obvious remark and took him to Liberland where they imprisoned him in a lighthouse. 
There, Cameron thought of what could have been, his mistakes, and where his life went. He tried to repent these emotions and started to masturbate fiercely, no one gave a shit.
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Trollpasta