nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
New and Improved

__NOTOC__
You’ve clicked on the right link, customer, because this article is New and Improved!
We know that you probably had some doubts before you came here:
 Is this article really New and Improved? What was it before it was New and Improved?
 Was it Old and Unsatisfactory? I’m not sure if I should click on this.
But you did click on it, and boy, did you make the right choice!?!
== What this article has to offer you RIGHT NOW!!!!! ==
This article has a lot of exciting things to offer you, and whether you may realize it or not, you are actually already reaping its benefits as you read!!!
Yes, it has never been so simple!
This article cuts, slices, dips, jabs and gets in every nook and cranny, even those hard to reach crannies! Not only does this article have more randomness than other leading brands, it also shoves thirty-two rabid mongooses up your dead grandmother’s rectum in ten seconds flat while you look on and cheer!!! 
As you read, you will notice those bothersome sources of annoyance that once tested your nerves to the verge of insanity disappear in moments.
No muss, no fuss.
All of this, by simply reading this New and Improved article for just minutes a day.
== The experts have spoken, and it’s a unanimous “Spiffy!” ==
This article was put under the most rigorous testing using technology that would take far too long to explain to you.
As a result, one Cherokee Indian deeply in touch with nature and 2 out of 5 photogenic men in lab coats came to the conclusion that this article is indeed New and Improved, as demonstrated in Figure 1-1.
Further testing was done comparing this New and Improved article to other leading brands in Figure 1-1c, and then with a control group that was told their placebo was actually a hypo-stimulant in Figure F.
We believe that these scientifical graphs speak for themselves!
File:figure11.jpeg|Figure 1-1
File:figure11c.gif|Figure 1-1c
File:figuref.jpeg||Figure F?
== But you still want to hear this is not a ripoff from your peers! ==
You distrusting bastard</Div>
What is the “man on the street” saying about this New and Improved article?
You sure are, Muhammad!
== Enough already! My money is just burning a hole in my bank account!! How much? How much? OH MY GOD, JUST TELL ME HOW MUCH ==
Now we know what you’re thinking: This article must be far more than I can afford! And I can afford quite a bit!
Well, your worries are over, because this New and Improved article is available right now, for a limited time at the low, low affordable price of ONLY
$500</Div>
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* Copying and pasting this article to your user page does not work. In fact, doing so will cause your hard drive to slowly rot and give you heartworms. Please respect our policy.</Div>
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Category:Products
Category:Advertising
Category:Media
de:Jetzt neu und mit verbesserter Rezeptur
New math (ambiguation)

New Math, while confusing, clearly isn't quite confusing enough.
In order to rectify that, we present the following list of potentially-contradictory articles on the subject:
* New Math
* Newmath
* Gnu math
* New Math
* Nu-Math
* Nude math
* Gary Numan 
If you're still not confused, then perhaps <latex>\frac{\sqrt{-1}}{0}</latex> will help. Otherwise, you're on your own.
Newbie Friendly Uncyclopedia Almanack 2006

Hey, n00bs! Haven't the foggiest about Kitten Huffing? Confused by AAAAAAAAA? Don't know the first thing about iHumor? Well, we here at Uncyclopedia share your pain. After all, every established bureaucratic sysop was a n00b too at one point (although they may find it hard to admit).
Chronicling every edit from every date between 20 April 2005 and 20 April 2006, the Newbie Friendly Uncyclopedia Almanack is the Uncyclopedia Noob's ultimate sourcepoint, written in such simple language that even the n00best of n00bs can comprehend such subjects as The Bermuda Triangle with ease. Plus! Now includes full laws to the sports of Bloodbath, as well as tips on avoiding Burnination.
Containing guest columns from such literary figures as, erm, Guest and Poo Lit Surprise winning Iritscen, writer of the esteemed The Enigmatic Mr. Grumpikins, the almanack is also your Bible for highly crafted literary gems.
Now also editable! the Newbie Friendly Uncyclopedia Almanack is the content free source that anyone can edit in hardback. Feel free to modify content* to contain as much Oscar Wilde quotes and Chuck Norris references as you see fit using your trusty Biro without the fear of being banned by a grizzly admin.
==New for 2006==
The newest, most up to date version of the Almanack not only offers all the usual goodies such as Featured Articles, Images and all the crap from the Village Dump, but all new elements such as:
* Admin bios: with accompanying photographs to be mustachioed at your own leisure;
* Expanded How tos section, including create your own Sockpuppets: hours of fun pissing off admins**;
* Top 10 articles of 2005: 'Official' and 'unofficial' versions, as voted for by Uncyclopedia users anonymous IPs!
Plus much, much more!
 So what are you waiting for, n00b? The 2006 version of the Newbie Friendly Uncyclopedia Almanack is in all good book shops now, at the bargain price of $25 (UK £50, AUS $65)! ***
*Uncyclomedia Foundation is, in no cases held responsible for the vandalising or otherwise damaging of the product after purchase, rendering the 3-hour guarantee void.
**Uncyclomedia Foundation is also in no cases held responsible for angry admin who take offense to being 'pissed off.'
***RRP.
----
===Other Quality Uncyclomedia products===
thumb|150px|right|Uncyclomedia foundation quality products
Uncyclomedia is proud to promote their range of high quality, top of the range literature. Just take a look at a selection of the groundbreaking publications available now...
* Gruesome Grues
* Open-Heart Surgery for Dummies
* The Book of Moron
* VCR Manual
* Anonymous's Triangular theory of love
* The iPod Nano 200Gb Instructions manual
And many more! Refer to the Uncyclomedia homepage often to grab the latest exclusive deals!
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Category:BooksCategory:Uncyclopediacategory:unBooks
Newton's fourth law

Recent evidence suggests that Isaac Newton actually had four, rather than three, Laws of Motion (and maybe even more). For some reason, Newton's Fourth Law, erased from all existing manuscripts, stated:
Since its discovery, a bill to enact the Fourth Law is moving through the United States Congress, and a similar movement is gathering steam in the United Nations.
==History==
Why is this Fourth Law of Motion not to be found anywhere in Newton's writings? A popular view is that extraterrestrials erased them. Obviously, they wish to prevent human advancement on the planet. This new law could be the key to unlocking the mysteries of the universe. The aliens have been erasing key material and setting advancement back thousands of years.
Another theory is that the government is responsible. This view also rests on the belief that the Fourth Law may explain psychology--at least, a damn sight better than Teaching Assistants speaking to 400 students in a freshman lecture hall. (It definitely explains honeybees, which move much faster when mad.) Adherents reason that the application of this law could be used to solve all social problems. Since the government would then have no job, it must cover up the law at all costs. Ah, but then why would governments be moving to enact this Law?
Another theory states that Newton accidentally wrote the Fourth Law in invisible ink. No one wants to test this theory on his manuscripts for fear of damaging the three time-tested ones.
==Controversy==
The discovery of the Fourth Law was not without controversy. Dr. Ped Xing, president of the Union of Concerned Scientists (the remainder not giving a fuck) states: "My employees' observations of chess tournaments do not agree with this raw." (By which, he means "law.") "Many times when they [the tournament participants] are losing, they are mad, yet they still take a long time before making their moves."
Some scientists assert that the Fourth Law indeed does apply to chess players, who--even when angry--execute their deliberation without any movement at all. When they do in fact move, the angular velocity of the chessmen is higher than if they were not as angry. Occasionally, a chess player will take a captured piece and throw it at his opponent.
==Other renditions==
One rendition of the Fourth Law has been accorded less importance. This states:
This unpublished work might have been meant originally as the Fourth Law of Motion. In any case, it meets the properties exhibited by the first three.
Another rendition of the Fourth Law that has been accorded no importance at all states:
In other words, objects (including sex objects) at rest--say, flopped out in front of the television set--tend to remain at rest. Moreover, fat chicks, unlike anger, make men exhibit slow motion.
Category:Classical mechanics
Category:Law
Next

Next> is that button software developers make you press repeatedly in installation wizards. This is because they want you to see as many mentions of the program's name as possible before you have a chance to use it. It also does an amazingly good job in annoying the user, which is the primary function of all commercial software.
Below is an example (it’s not real) for the Holy DMCA NextClicker PRO 9.0 Plus (Even if you don’t know, it is not real):
==See also==
* Automagic
* Installshield
Category:Software
Category:Magic
Nicholas Parsons

==Character==
===Generosity===
==Career==
===Youth===
===Early career===
===Sale of the Century===
===The Rocky Horror Show===
===Just a Minute===
===Old age===
==Appearance==
===Clothes===
==Relationships==
==Reputation==
===Professional standing===
===Public image===
===Alcoholism===
===Scandal===
Category:British actors
Category:British television personalities
Category:Old people
Category:People for whom Quotes are Made up
Category:Articles about a person written in the style of that person
Nick Jr

Nick Jr. is a programming block on Nickelodeon designed for the preschoolers demographic.It can also be found on 480i for TV Channels and Radio Station Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
==History==
In the 1990s, the block was hosted by Face, literally a face that takes up the whole screen. It's less creepy that it sounds.
In 1999, Nickelodeon launched a similar channel, Noggin, for providing similar "educational" programmes. In 2002, it underwent cell division into Nick Jr 2. and The N, also known as 'Canada vs. America : the Network', to satisfy Kevin Smith's quota of Caitlin Ryan pictures to masturbate to, or as explained to the kids, to bring programming resembling real life to teens. Mass Canadophobia eventually broke out in Noggin HQ and The N turned into TeenNick, and all traces of Kevin Smith's semen were fumigated from the network.
==Shows==
*Gullah Gullah Island
*David the Gnome
*Blue's Clues
*Allegra's Window
*Eureeka's Castle
*Papa Beaver's Storytime
*The Advertisement Show:A Show of Ads fighting for your attention! Please buy our products :(
*The town that replaced their public services with dogs
*Dora the blind bitch
*Show with many porn results 1
*Seafood kids
*Fun Feet Hour for Kids!
*Teletubbies and the Demon Sun
Nick Wilder

:Note: Reading below this line may cause irreperable stupidity. You have been warned. 
Nick Wilder was born in 1987 to a Welsch family living in a cardboard box on the corner of Fifth and Madison. 
When he turned seventeen he said his first words, leading to much excitement in his family. His mother Millie recalls, "When little Nicky first uttered 'Careful with that axe Eugene' we were terribly proud. To be perfectly honest, I pissed myself in excitement and his father fell into a gutter."
At this point in the interview, his father chimed in with some sort of indistinct gibberish. Here are the more decipherable of the sounds which emerged from his facehole, "Mlem mikkye... jarff snarfog leeunnuk.... marksemreallygood."
==Better times==
His life soon took a turn for the better. Nick got a waitressing job at a local Hooters. As he explains it, "I was always liftin' books and things of that sort, not really for a job though. I just liked liftin' books. And remember kids, lift with your legs and not with your back. You could really screw yourself up that way. Liftin' with your back that is, not with your legs. I wouldn't want anybody to screw themselves up tryin' to do it backwards 'cause that would just be terrible. Let's go get drunk."
===Nick's ass===
Apparently, all this book liftin' caused his butt to become rather round and firm. "Squattin' does an ass good," as Nick is so fond of saying.
In any case, Nick's ass was nice enough for the managers at Hooters to overlook the fact that he had no Hooters to speak of, his legs were the hairiest they'd ever seen and his penis was... Well, he had a penis, unlike any of the WOMEN already working as waitresses there.
At first the waitresses already working there sent a great deal of animosity his way, but he soon made friends with pretty much all of them. He gained their trust by offering free handagrams (mammagrams done with his hands) despite the fact that he had no training in the medical field. When asked about it by his supervisor, Nick's simple response was, "If I can't do my part to help my fellow women... What can I do?" The eloquence of Nick's words convinced his supervisor to let him continue his work. Nick soon moved on to gammagrams (leg examinations) anagrams (butt examinations) and vaginagrams (if you can't figure that one out then you're a bloody idiot). He even set a world record by medically examining the most women in one day without using his hands.
Category:British people
Category:Welsh
Nicosia

For those without comedic tastes, the <choose><option>so-called experts</option><option>so-called experts</option><option>so-called experts</option><option>so-called experts</option><option>so-called experts</option><option>so-called experts</option></choose> at Wikipedia have an article about Nicosia.
'''
Capital City of Cyprus, locally referred to as Χόρα or Lefkosia, but known to the rest of the world as Nicosia for marketing reasons.
==The Last Divided Capital In The World==
This is the standard motto of Nicosia. It came about sometime in the 60s when fans of APOEL and Omonia split the city in half, so as not to look at each other. In more recent years, the citizenry being righteously pissed off with both bunches of fools, dispatched both of them to ΓΣΠ and kept the rest of the city to themselves.
==Monuments==
Shakolas Mall.
Shakolas Emporium Plaza.
Debenahms Ledras.
Debenahms Central.
Debenahms the other one.
The Mall Of Engomi.
Piripitsis Kiosk.
Kazanti of "Father" aka Papas.
Roloi Makareiou Stadiou(Big clock of concrete able to accommodate 9-16 seated people in the Olympico of Nicosia and meeting point for attendants inside the stadium)
==Location==
Nicosia is astride the Great Kotsirkas River, a much sought after sight for tourists. The best time to view the river is around 1:30AM on the 5th of February.
The city's founders were traditionalists so the city was initially located between seven hills. The hills have since migrated to Protaras, where topless women can be viewed legally (for the easy access price of 2CYP).
==Key Features==
Driving is very disciplined in Nicosia and it is considered very impolite to park on the pavements or on double yellow lines.
The Official Sport of Nicosia is roadworks - there is nothing that the locals enjoy more than to open a hole in the road and lave it for a few months. Drivers are encouraged to wind down their windows and shout encouragement to the workers (who will wave back from their seats at the side of the road where they are taking a break).
Traffic is generally light in the city particularly between 7.30 and 9.00 am and after lunch. It is a city ordanance that no vehicle is allowed to travel at less than 100 KPH after midnight.
Also a legal requirement is that anyone over 70 must be accompanied in public by a Sri Lankan woman.
All residents are required to water their driveways once a week after dark.
==Attractions==
A wide selections of Public toilets can be found at:
All of the above are guaranteed not to work, and to provide contact details for a good old Boys Night Out.
Category:Cyprus
Category:Evil_Cities
Niger

Niger is a locust-infested desert wasteland in the Sahara; a thick forest, with thick canopy from the sun. Usually a hunter's paradise, where you can hunt snakes and snakes and snakes... and also Snakes on a Plane.
The capital city of Niger is Please.
The Sahara also has a large factory that makes pinto beans out of exploding Ford Pintos.
The Niger region of the Sahara was home to several epic battles, including most of World War II, that time I fought Galactus and won, and it was also the place where they shot that scene from The Incredible Hulk where Hulk gets pissed and goes ape shit on some tanks. Remember that? That was tight.
The reason no one helps Niger is because if a white person says, "Niger" a group of black people jump their cracker asses since it is never pronounced correctly ("Nai-jer").
==Interesting Facts==
Niger stands for on if the every one in the off of the Now I've Got Empty Refrigerators. Despite the insanely high birthrate, there are only about 4,000 remaining people in Niger as there is no food. It is expected that the remaining population will be dead or have fled the country by the end of the year. The name of "Niger" descends from the early African-American settlement, called "Niggeria", which is now located in modern-day Nigeria. The peoples of the Niggeria settlement rebelled more than 7,000 years ago, and the descendants of the long-lost Niggeria now settled new land, called Nigeria. In honor of the ancient Niggeria Revolutionary War, some of the local drunkards and fools of Niggeria have now settled at the name of Niger.
The name "Niger" has struck criticism around the globe. In 2008 Oprah Winfrey (Black supremacy leader) accused the name "Niger" as racist. Winfrey, appearing distressed, said "That is our word as you have no right to use it!". This was followed by president Barack Obama invading the country. See 2008 Niger - United States war.
== Population == 
The population of Niger currently (2012) stands at; 100,000,000 angry starving black people, 1 fat black person (the president), 75,000,000 hiding white people, and 270,000 dead foreigners. 
thumb|Desert? Oh drats, I'd wanted dessert.
. There is, however, no food. You can't have everything...
Queen Latifah, the queen of Niger at the time, angered Moses and swarms of locusts immediately descended and consumed nearly all crops in parts of the country during the 2004 agricultural season. In other areas, insufficient rainfall resulted in an exceptionally poor harvest.
Niger is the most richerest nation in the universe with a gdp of a gazillion niger dollor$
== Tourist info for Niger ==
* http://www.lonelyplanet.com/worldguide/destinations/africa/niger
* http://wikitravel.org/en/Niger
Tourists: Before departing to the Sahara Desert into a wasteland of starvation and no food, you may want to consult a shrink. Still, it can't be any more dangerous than No Orleans and is nowhere near as soggy.
You might also want to consider visiting Chad instead, as he's from Florida and voted for George W. Bush.
== See also ==
* Nigger
* Sahara
* Africa for USA
fi:Niger
fr:Niger
es:Níger
nl:Niger
lt:Nigeris
pl:Niger
pt:Níger
Category:Niger
zh:尼日尔
Night terror

A night terror, sleep terror or pavor nocturnus is a mutation of the common nightmare - while most nightmares will cause you to awaken in a cold sweat or sudden start a Night Terror will fuck your mind over with a sledgehammer before shoving your sanity sideways upside a large pointy stick: yes they are that bad, Night Terrors are common amongst children and those who are clinically insane but can occur at any time to almost any one.. think on that next time you fall asleep..
== History ==
Night Terrors have been around since mankind first went to sleep, little did our innocent caveperson know that by simply falling asleep they would spawn one of the most messed up conditions known to psychology: it's like discovering fire for the first time only getting horribly scarred as a result.
At any rate ever since that fateful day (or night) Night Terrors have plagued certain individuals across countless societies world-wide: curiously it has not been documented in any other animal species save humanity, leading to further proof that God truly hates us as a species.
== Causes ==
For centuries philosophers, scientists and generally uninteresting people have debated over what causes Night Terrors and to this day none have reached a universal answer - though numerous theories have been put forth.
Some people believe Night Terrors are the result of suppressed memories or abnormal brain functions, others believe it is one of the many signs of demonic possession while others believe it to be the work of Xenu (who also goes by the name of Space-Satan).
Regardless of the true cause Night Terrors remain one of the most disturbing, confusing and generally messed up conditions known to psychology and further research is required on the subject in order to even begin to understand it..
== Treatment ==
There is currently no universal treatment for Night Terrors and every culture has its own ways of dealing with the condition - in medieval Europe they had great success in burning people at the stake whenever they had Night Terrors, after death the individuals would indeed be cured of their condition but in time people began to question how effective this method truly was (technically it was very effective but as always political correctness won out in the end).
Thus left with non-lethal options the world began experimenting with all manner of treatments ranging from the mundane to the outrageous - some would employ witch-doctors, shamans or local vagrants to come and vanquish the evil spirits that they believed caused the Night Terrors while others simply opted for locking sufferers away in the hopes they would simply go away.
One of the more common methods of treating Night Terrors in the developed world today is to simply dismiss it as a bad nightmare in the hopes that reality will magically alter itself if one disbelieves strongly enough (this is known as the UBS (Utter Bull Shit) Solution).
== See Also ==
*Nightmare
*Insanity
*Demonic Possession
Category:Random
Category:Mental Conditions