Billy's World

Gil winced as he walked down the cracked street. The shattered and upended asphalt from the frequent impacts and eruptions that made walking anywhere a pain, but until Billy could get a license, he made it so no one else could drive. No one complained about it, there was no point in it anymore. Billy's power from the djinn's wish was absolute and he would accept no opposition. People who argued with Billy and encroached on his safe zone found themselves splattered across the pavement with a simple snap of his fingers.
Fucking Billy.
Four years had passed since Gil tried to kill himself and now the world was much worse. He didn't think it could get worse than the delusional Disney-fied world that had taken his wife from him, but that all changed when Billy started to grow up. Before you could get by if you embraced Billy's happy horse-shit world of magic and wonderment and hoped that he believed in happy endings, but now something had changed. It seemed like overnight the world had warped and twisted into something new, something terrible.
Women's bust size had double, even tripled in some instances, causing massive back issues and immobilizing some of the unluckier ones. A few were even deformed into pixie-like children with cat or dog ears who were so waif-thin that they could only get around by 'glomping' onto the backs of other people. Men wandered around trying to defend their honor or generally acting like mopey high-schoolers. Bodies littered the street from pointless duels and battles between rival school factions (despite most not even attending a high school). Before these honor-duels, many boasted how the bonds of their friendship could help them overcome any opposition, only to quickly realize that friendship wasn't effective at protecting against bullets and knives. This world was much worse and Gil knew why, Billy was twelve and he had just discovered anime.
Gil had heard whispers of monstrosities that had been birthed from Billy's love of his fandom. These monsters, whose mere utterance of their name was punishable by death, had been sighted throughout the city which Gil was walking through. Even the threat of these unholy creatures wasn't enough to keep Gil away from buying a case of Sapporo beer and Sake. He had been drinking silly juice for far too long so the prospect of anything actually alcoholic in nature was enough to drive him out into Billy's world. He clutched the old revolver at his side as he wandered towards the nearest shop.
Gil managed to make it about three blocks before he first encountered the monster. He had just stepped onto a piece of up-turned asphalt when it exploded hundreds of feet up into the air and he was thrown backwards onto his aging back. As the inexplicable smoke was cleared by a gust of wind that appeared randomly as if on cue alongside a watered-down electric guitar solo that seemed more like it was an out-of-touch parent trying to play their first heavy metal solo, Gil got his first good look at the unholy creation.
The fur on its body was dark red with black spines running along its back. It had a single white wing running along its back and gnarled devil horns grew from its head that terminated in a golden and cracked angel halo. It looked like something a toddler would make by cutting random pieces of cartoon images and hastily gluing them together right down to the inexplicable bandages that randomly wrapped around its legs and the tennis shoes on its feet. It opened its eyes, revealing black pupils, as it observed the decimated city around him.
It opened its mouth, releasing billowing smoke, and spoke through pointlessly sharp teeth: "Finally I, Conis the Abomination, am free from the Underworld! I was the product of the unholy union of an angel and a demon. My main goal on this earth is to track down and exterminate the Kyojin that murdered my beloved but lecherous grand-fafer hu raessed m-" the Abomination mindlessly kept going though with its introduction without even registering the fact that Gil had just shoved the barrel of the revolver into its open mouth while screaming.
Gil shouted the thing's forbidden name as he pulled the trigger, "Fuck you, you Weeabite trash!"
The revolver's hammer slammed down and a bullet exploded into the back of Conis the Abomination's head pitching it backwards onto the street. There was a high-pitched ding like someone punching a synthesizer as coins erupted out of the anthropomorphic hedgehog's body. The words burbled through Conis' shredded mouth as it sloppily groped towards the golden rings leaving behind bloody handprints: "My coins!"
Gil stepped forward and pressed the revolver to the back of the Weeabite's head and delivered the coup-de-grace before it could reach a coin. The bullet went through the abomination's head and everything within a five foot radius was doused in blood and brain matter like a child setting off a ketchup bomb. Conis bounced up in the air before inexplicably phasing through the earth and disappearing into the aether. The old man rubbed at the bruise forming on his back as he groaned, "Fucking Billy!" He would have to spend the next day washing blood and brain bits out of every nook and cranny before he came close to ever feeling clean again.
However before any of that, Gil wanted to get good and drunk to try and forget all of this. He continued walking towards the shop with a now blood-drenched fifty dollar bill. At this point, he didn't care if he looked like a slasher movie victim. With half-naked girls running around and Weeabite abortions littering the earth, Gil didn't give a shit if he was bloody. In the end, it really didn't matter what Gil wanted because this was Billy's world and his lust for violence and clichés hadn't been satiated yet.
Gil had lied to himself and pretended that this was all a phase that the great and powerful Billy would grow out of, but now he wasn't sure if it would happen before the preteen destroyed the world. Gil didn't know what the words spoken by the people struggling to survive in Billy's world meant, but he knew that it meant nothing good. Billy was begetting Weeabites which would only plague the world with more death and destruction as he played out his pointlessly trite and gory revenge scenarios. Billy had become an edgelord. It was at this moment that Gil knew that everything was going to get a whole lot worse before it got any better.
Gil looked up at the sky in horror as multiple black and red anthropomorphic hedgehogs of varieties rained from the sky. Some were carrying unwieldy great swords while others struggled to aim at imaginary enemies with the crosshairs of their assault riffles through their constantly weeping and bloody eyes. While each one was different from the others, they still looked like they had been pieced together by a child who had been huffing glue for the past four years. Gil flicked open the chamber of his revolver and counted the bullets. He had four bullets to make it through hundreds of OC monstrosities. Gil didn't know if they were coming for him or if they were too absorbed in their generic backstories to even notice him. Gil only knew one thing in Billy's world, one way or the other, he was going to get drunk.
Fucking Billy.
Category:BATTELS
Category:Beings
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Category:Satire
Category:Suicide
Category:Sonic
Category:Excessive Profanity
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