I Don't Know What To Believe

Hello, my name is Dennis. Dennis Akerström and right now you're currently reading my journal entry. Out if all my sixteen years of living, I've never been so scared out my wits that I have to hide a small pistol in my nightstand next to me. It all seemed so fake. Almost like a movie...
I will never forget that day, it was warm summer's day and I was at a kid's birthday party. There were kids running around in Spiderman, Batman, Princess Peach, Bowser, all different types of costumes. Candy was everywhere you went. Even an unopened piñata some kids were eager to break open. The thing that bothered me a lot was, there were clowns at the party. Now, these were really nice clowns, but that did not help my extreme coulrophobia. They all had extremely bright faces and long colorful rainbow pants.
But, one stood out to me in particular. She was the only female clown and she wore mainly gray and black. She had black eyeshadow and lipstick on giving her a more gothic appearance. She had a black and gray diamond shirt that hung a bit off of her shoulders and a matching tutu. Her hair was jet black and a bit curly dragging down to the floor. For some odd reason, she was the one kids went up to the most. They often called her "Melancholic the Jester" for some odd reason. She will pretend to be sad and when a kid gives her candy, she smiles and goes play games with them. I felt uneasy by it, but I tried to ignore the feeling of wanting to curl in a ball and cry. My friend of six years, Adele, walked up to me holding a piece of cake in her hand.
"Hey, you want a piece of cake? You look stressed out, Dennis. You're not thinking about school tomorrow are you?" I looked up at the blondie at me smiling pushing the cake towards my way. I had accepted the piece of cake, but I was starting to feel more and more uneasy.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Hey, look, I have something to do. I really appreciate you inviting me to this party, but, I'm feeling extremely uncomfortable around this clown." I pointed Adele to Melancholic who was playing freeze tag with some kids in a distance. Adele gave me a bit of a stern look and pointed at the jester.
"Melancholic? You are scared of Melancholic. She's, what? Seventeen, eighteen the most, and you're scared of her? A bit sexist I see. Female clowns are much scarier with boobs that turn into bombs and blows people's houses up."
"Adele, I'm being serious. She terrifies me, I just want to go home and finish up my homework. I will call you tonight, okay?" Adele gave me a rather upset face and walked away. I knew she invited me here to have fun, but it wasn't my type of fun. Before I left the party, I turned around a gave the jester one last look. She yelled "Round one just began!" across the party. I power walked home feeling terrified to the core. Finally getting back home to my safe haven, I saw my mom reading the newspaper. She looked up at me and smiled.
"Hey, Dennis. Did you finally meet your new neighbor? She's a very sweet girl. Her family wasn't home when I went to go meet them all. So I only met the girl." My mom was the type of neighbor that introduced herself to all the new people that just moved in. And if she befriends you, expect cookies and pies every single holiday.
"I have not. I've been at Adele's little sister's party. It was fun. But, hey, mom? I saw a clown and I'm very terrified right now. So, I'm just- I'm just going to my room. I feel like shaking and crying right now." My voice started trembling as I backed into the wall. My mom looked very worried and picked up the phone and started calling someone.
"Go upstairs, I will check on you later, Dennis. If you need anything, just yell for me, okay?" I nodded my head and smile walking upstairs to my room. I locked the door and opened up my bag and started doing my homework. I laid on my bed when I heard a weird squeaky noise. Almost like a dog's toy. I sat up and pulled out a bag of candy. Weird, I don't remember eating candy at the party. I dumped out the candy bag and saw a clown nose. I picked up the nose and it had the words "Smile :)" in a bright green paint written on it. I disregarded the whole incident and started doing my homework while eating the candy that was in the bag.
The next morning, it was time for school. I let out a deep sighed and got ready for school. I threw on a white floral dress and a pair of white flats. I didn't feel like doing my hair morning and just slapped a bow on the top of it calling my outfit "complete". I then grabbed my bag and walked off to school. Once arriving there, I saw the new girl at her locker struggling to get it open. She had a weird look to her that no one has seen around here. She had her jet black hair pulled back to a long ponytail going way down her back. She had on a plaid and white school uniform with dark brown boots. Before I walked over to her, Adele called my name from across the hall running towards me. I turned around and greeted her.
"Well, good morning to you. How do you do, Adele?"
"Good. How do you do on this morning?"
"I'm pretty good. I was going to introduce myself to the new girl. She seems to be having trouble with her locker. We should help her, Adele."
Adele nodded and we both walked over to the girl struggling to open her lock. The girl oddly didn't seem to notice us standing next to her. I looked over at Adele and she looked over at me. I finally spoke out.
"Hello, you need help?" The girl's eyes widen as she jumped back a bit scared.
"Yes, please. I can't get this lock unlocked." The girl said in frustration. I asked for her combination number and then opened her lock for her. She exhales in relief.
"Ah, thank you. And your names are?"
"I'm Dennis and this is my friend Adele." Adele waved at Jensyn with a warm smile on her face. Almost like if they met one another.
"Oh, very pretty names for very pretty girls. I'm Jensyn Merchant. I just moved from Brighton." Jensyn smiled putting her books in her locker. I felt a weird queasy feeling when she smiled at me. I thought maybe it was my anxiety and brushed it off. Jensyn oddly had a weird aura to her. It was extremely welcoming in a way and I just really wanted to hug her. Adele looked at me a bit weird and I snapped back to reality.
"Dennis, I'm not sure if you were paying attention, but our fellow friend has chemistry with us."
I looked over at Jensyn and smiled. "Well, you came at the right time, we have a dissecting project today and we need another member of our group, would you like to join?"
Jensyn looked up at me in terror as if I was a monster. "Di-Dissecting project? No way! No! I-I can't. I-"
"Don't be such a wuss, it's just a dead cat. My little sister can even dissect a cat."
Jensyn was about to say something but cut herself short. She then proceeds to smile a bit and agrees to help out. I can tell by the look on her face she was truly terrified. I was going to tell Adele she was being a bit harsh, but, we all do need a grade in that class.
The fifth period finally rolled around. Chemistry was here and I sat in the back jumping up and down in excitement. Adele and I talked about how fun this might be to dissect a cat. I wasn't sure why, but I've been waiting for all semester for this moment. Jensyn walked in and had a small chat with the teacher, she then proceeds to sit next to me and Adele. There was a lifeless full grown black cat lying in front of us. The teacher instructed us what to do and started walking around helping kids. Adele started reading the rules for Jensyn and I to start dissecting the cats. Jensyn looked down at the cat with tears filling her eyes up. With one hand, she had the scalpel raised up, and with the other hand, she was petting the cat whispering to it.
"It's okay, kitty. Rest in peace. I never wanted to hurt you." Adele and I looked over at Jensyn confused. Everyone was dissecting their cat and we have overly sensitive Samantha here crying over a dead cat. Adele started to get a bit antsy and reached over towards Jensyn.
"Jensyn, it's dead. Please, just dissect this. I need my grade in here."
Jensyn looked down at the cat one more last time before picking it up. She walked over to an empty desk and placed her jacket over it crying constantly saying "It's okay little cat. Jensyn will get justice for you." over and over. Adele had enough of Jensyn's behavior and tried pulling the cat away from her. Jensyn pushed Adele away making her fall over a stool. Adele got up and screamed at the top of her lungs.
"Jensyn what's wrong with you? You overly sensitive cat freak!?"
Jensyn looked down fumbling her fingers and stood up on the desk. All of the class looked over at Jensyn in confusion.
"Why? Why is it okay to lessen a cat's life value over humans? Why? Why do humans feel the need to kill animals!?! Why is it normal for us to kill this perfectly healthy cat for a class like this? Why? Why, people, why!? Teacher, tell me why! I've had enough with this disgusting behavior! All of you can die and burn in the deepest part of hell for not appreciating all of what animals do for us! Oh, bloody hell. Fuck this class." Jensyn said slowly getting off from on top of the desk. Adele looked a bit frightened but sat back down in her seat. Jensyn proceeds to sit down with the scalpel in her hand. I felt the uneasy tension between Adele and Jensyn. Adele started reading the rules out and Jensyn started cutting the cat open with her scalpel. I noticed Jensyn wasn't paying any attention to Adele and Adele seemed to notice it. Adele looked over at Jensyn pissed off as Jensyn had a huge grin on her face. Adele slapped her hand on the table loud enough for it to echo in the classroom. Jensyn turned to Adele with her grin on her face.
"My job told me to smile when I'm angry. It will eventually turn to a real smile. Why don't you smile, Adele?" 
As soon as Jensyn said that, the school security came and escorted Jensyn out. I saw something weird in Jensyn's eyes. Something dark, something a bit sinister. Something I'm probably just over exaggerating about. A few hours later, school ended. Adele was extremely silent and looked up at me,
"Dennis, I'm sorry. I can't hang out with you today. I'm going to apologize to Jensyn. I shouldn't have pressured her to do it. I feel really bad and think I will just call it the day. Farewell, I will see you tomorrow at breakfast."
Adele walked away and disappeared in the school halls. Later on the day, I walked over to Jensyn's house. I knocked a few times but nobody answered. She had a random bowl of candy sitting on her porch. I thought nothing of it and walked away. A few days past, and still no sign of Adele. Jensyn and I have been hanging out every day since Adele's disappearance and became extremely close friends. Jensyn almost was like...Everything I ever wanted in a friend. I decided to walk over to Adele's house and by my surprise, The door was unlocked. Everything seemed to be in place. I walked upstairs to see Adele's room door opened. Nothing out the usual which calmed my nerves down.
I walked in Adele's room with a smile and flicked on the lights. Adele was hanging by a noose completely lifeless. From her waist down her body was missing. Her hands were missing and the only thing that was there was just blood slowly pouring out of her hand drop by drop. Her jaw was completely ripped open with all her teeth missing. There on the bed was a blood-covered saw. It was truly a horrifying sight. I ran to Adele's parent's room to find them in bits and pieces. Each limb cut off and thrown across the room. There was the note on a finger in front of me saying "Put the puzzle pieces together. Me and Adele little sister loves playing puzzles."
I felt extremely scared and ran to Jensyn's house. Jensyn had answered the door and let me come in. Jensyn looked a bit puzzled at me as I pleaded for help about Adele. Jensyn was just as worried as I am and called the police. I sat down at the table shaking. Jensyn was rocking back and forth in the chair just as scared as I was. Jensyn said she will go in her room and try to find her machete. I sat at the table quivering in fear. A few moments passed and I heard a lot scream. I instantly got up and ran to the back. It was Jensyn's scream. She was screaming for helping banging on the door. I tried opening her room door but it was locked. I looked over and found an axe and cut through the door. From there I unlocked the door from the inside.
There was a moment of silence. Not a single noise in the house. I held the axe up looking around the room. I opened up her bathroom door and tried to turn on the lights, but they would not come on. I looked around for a flashlight when I heard footsteps. I turned around and saw nothing behind me. My heart felt as if it was going to beat out of my chest. I decided it will be best to hide until the footsteps stopped. I hide under the bed shaking with the axe under Jensyn's bed. I saw black boots walk slowly creeping in the room. I covered my breath so that the intruder doesn't hear me breathing. Sweat poured down my face as the footsteps got closer. The person stopped right in front of me. I saw them on one knee in front of the bed. The bedspreads slowly lifted up when I was pulled from behind. I tried hanging to the rug but a few of my fingernails came completely off. I remember turning around and seeing Melancholic. Everything then faded off to completely black.
I woke up bounded to Jensyn's bed with a bright light in my face. I squinted my eyes and can see a big sinister smile looking directly at me. I tried to sit up but I couldn't. Then, I saw her. Melancholic looking at me smiling. My heart started pounding as I tried to break free away from the boundings.
"Ladies and Gentlemen. Boys and ghouls. Feeling sad? Looking blue? Here at the carnival, there's not a frown in sight. Melancholic will make sure she turn that sad frown upside down! I love making my fellow friends smile!" Melancholic smiled and crawled onto my chest pushing her knee in my chest. I gasp for air trying to scream as loud as I could. Melancholic wrapped her hand around the bottom of my face.
"Want to see Adele's little sister? She's so happy at my circus! She's smiling with my human's stuffed toys. Wouldn't you want to join Adele? Adele wasn't so much fun to play with. But I did have fun making this necklace!" Melancholic pulled out a necklace made from Adele's teeth. I screamed trying to pull away but couldn't. Melancholic then proceeds to take a hot iron used to bran cows and branded my stomach. I screamed in agonizing pain with hot tears rolling down my eyes.
"What kind of monster are you!? Where's Jensyn?! Why did you kill Adele!? What is your purpose!?" I screamed.
"I am a presence. This is my final form, my love," Melancholic starts rolling my dress up to the point my dress was just resting on my stomach. She then pulls out the scalpel and made a deep cut. I winced at the pain and tried to slow down my breathing a bit.
"I hope you like it slow, Dennis. I hope you like it slow..." Melancholic takes a fork and starts carving my leg inside out. I screamed extremely loud trying to thrash around and kick. But I was too weak. "I take on forms of different things... I can't die, but I can be shut away... It's called being skeptical. I just don't understand why this is so soothing to me. Playing with the human body is my interest. There's just so much fun operating on you all."
I remember Melancholic taking the saw cutting both of my legs completely off. She then proceeds to take some salt and dipped my fresh wound in it. I screamed and kicked around as much as I could till finally, a binding broke. Melancholic smiled taking rubbing alcohol on my wound that's covered with salt. I kept hitting my head back on the bed screaming for mercy. Melancholic smiled taking an ice pick and jabbing it in my ears. I didn't want to live through it anymore... I finally had enough. I remember a rag going over my face and hearing Melancholic mouthing...
"I am Jensyn..." I remember a hammer going up to my chest and being slammed down. I jumped up and found myself in the hospital. The doctors and nurses looked at me confused. A woman in white came running up to me.
"You made it! Oh, dear, are you okay? You finally woke up!" I looked at the woman confused.
"Hu-huh? Wha-what do you mean?"
"Well, you finally woke up from your five-year coma. This is normal for you to go through this."
I tried to get up but I was handcuffed to the hospital bed.
"Why is this here!? Help me please!"
The woman looked at me uncertainly and then shook her head.
"I cant do that. You might just and kill us like you did your family and friends. Has the doctor prescribed you anything for your schizophrenia? You were claiming to see a clown before you went to a coma and that she killed your family and friends. We searched around and found no one by the name of "Jensyn Merchant" or "Melancholic the Jester" She chuckled willing me to the bathroom.
I washed my face embracing the cold water. I looked up hearing a familiar sinister laugh. I looked up in the mirror written in lipstick "Ready for round 2?" with Jensyn holding a baseball bat in her hand laughing hysterically. She is not real.... She...is...not...real....She is not real... At least that's what the doctors tell me.... Maybe Jensyn really is my psychotic side I see as a different person...I will never know... But i took innocent lives of others...
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