New rules from Internet Humour A-guard B

From Internet Humour A-guard B:
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Comedic writer: This article will present you with a new set of rules. From now on, you are to limit all your humour directly on these examples, or derivatives thereof. No slip-ups are tolerated. Failure to comply will result in losing your license to try and be funny for God's sake. Failure to read this article will lead to ignorance. Ignorance is cunt. 
To make short ado: what follows is a set of examples of correct humour along with analysis and explanations. The examples are bolded, the analysis in italics. 
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===Example I: in the early days of representative logic===
And suddenly THE CAR IS REALLY HUGE AND IT CRASHES INTO THEIR BALLS LOL LOL!! Now if you think think what have you thought there's a PRETTY MUCH a case of fins sticking out of your arse. By the end of the day if not earlier or later. You know how things these things - there are always possibilities to WHACK WHACK shut up I run the show now.
====Analysis and usage====
Whenever the writer feels the need to fork out of his mainstream comedic text into this direction, he will please take into account the frequency of the words fins, WHACK, and run. These are obviously the main elements in the above sample. The word arse is included in the text not in its english language form but instead as a sort of an exclamation mark to point out the difference between fins and sticking. Failure to comply with these rather elementary notions will result in expelling from the Internet community for ninety (90) days.
===Example II: without us, there would be nothing===
And if you are a fart farty butt see there's a fart and a splode WHOOSH BANG omfg there goes my house --->
Thus, all our that is odd country was assuming joke, cutaway, racist nation so it won't think I'll work my work (film) is give your hand: 'em there, that. Asperger's syndrome is gay laetare sunday the... the... 
====Analysis and usage====
Henceforth, you are to limit the number of random fart jokes as much as possible. If you are caught editing an article with more than two hundred fart jokes in it, you will lose your license. The same goes for offenses where the joke includes houses exploding because of too much colonial gas, spaceships running on farts, stars burning colon gas for fuel, and other large-scale fart jokes. Note: if you are three years old, fart jokes are accepted. Some psychologists claim they are even healthy at that age, so we will not get gas and explode in those cases.''
The above example, however, will be seen as an accepted form of fart joke regardless of how many times you repeat it in an article - but only if it has been copied word for word, with the latter part of the example included. If this does not comply with your comedic article, tough luck. You will be held responsible for your own actions in the eyes of the international law. Consider yourself warned.
===Example III: man and his need/he/his===
As such, I'll be lifting my previous self-imposed limit on seventeen lagers per evening, in the hopes of producing as much of this invaluable resource as possible. Also, if there's any young ladies out there who are into this sort of thing, perhaps I could entice you to my chambers, slather you in honey, and emit naturally-occurring organic energy all over your whore face. Telegram me.
Silly silly, got a woody to bare it. Don't go falling up there. Anyway gonna go hard-on mashed potatoes rave mustache on voting. Psychedelic pinball? WTF is that never had.
::::::::::::::::::::Sick, a delicious bootball magazine --- indelible cushions... vomit, jerks --- blank...
====Analysis and usage====
Typically we will be accepting anything written in this style, but, whenever possible, it would be preferred that the exact text of this quote be duplicated, in part or in whole, as many times as possible. It should be obvious to anyone with half a brain that this will keep the Internet a far healthier place.
Yes, we're particularly critical of the silly and outrageous. Non-relatable characters and situations are not funny, because nobody has previously experienced them. Granted, psychedelic pinball did experience a rather sizable cult following in 1940s Estonia, but it's nothing to vomit over. And while a lack of vomit will keep the pages nice and clean, it is to be discouraged, and punishable by solitary confinement, if necessary. So please don't let us catch you wearing a John Cleese mask. Unless, of course, it is made out of his actual skin. This will be covered further in the section on morbidity and why it is acceptable.
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Note: This is not an ignorable Uncyclopedia policy. This is not a joke. You think this is a joke? All right, if it is a joke, why isn't it funny? There are no unfunny jokes. If something is not funny, it is NOT a joke.
Category:Internet