Didn't Know They Were Dating

Didn't know they were dating is a trope that shows up in ship-focused fanfiction, where often both parties are oblivious to the fact that everyone around them thinks they've been dating for some time. In other fics it may be that just one party is oblivious and the other party thinks they have been dating (just not putting out yet).
In angstier versions of the trope, one party may be pining for the other, especially if they're having what one party (or both) thinks or pretends is casual, emotionally detached sex while the other party (or both) is secretly in love. When the person who is unaware that they were dating finds out, the have to reevaluate their feelings, and usually decide that they do have romantic feelings and want to date officially.
==Example Fanworks==
Criminal Minds
*Evidently Unaware by travelinthedark, “So,” Reid says, eyeing Hotch warily, “I’m going to leave you here to freak out as you slowly realize that we’ve been dating for a while and you just didn’t know it.” Featuring oblivious!Hotch and aggressive!Reid. (2022)
Kingsman
*The Oblivious Boyfriend by zebraljb, PROMPT - A hello/goodbye kiss that is given without thinking - where neither person thinks twice about it. Eggsy sees things Merlin and Harry are too blind to notice. (2019)
Stargate Atlantis 
*Oblivious by astolat. (McShep) Rodney thinks they're dating, John insists they're not. For a while. (2005)
*If I Knew You Were Coming by Kass. (McShep) "Excuse me? I think I would know if we were dating." McKay sounded huffy. "I've been given to understand there are perks involved." (2007)
*Marginally Obtuse by pocky-slash. (McShep) "John discovers that it's possible to be a bad boyfriend even when you don't know it." (2007)
*Go Out Swinging by giddygeek. (McShep) In which Rodney is oblivious about his feelings for John while they're having regular sex (and he's still trying to date Jennifer). (2008)
Supernatural RPF
*it's guy love (between two guys) by kellifer_fic. Canon-setting J2 fic in which Jensen doesn't realize they've been dating. (2009)
*A Season for Misunderstandings by jeddy83. Canon-setting J2 fic in which Jared doesn't get it even after Jensen has moved in (to Jared's bedroom). (2009)
Suits
*Continental Drift by rangerdanger. Summary: "Mike and Harvey are in a relationship. They just don't know it yet." (2011)
*Imprimatur by Closer. "Mike was raised to believe Imprint was a life-changing event for those few lucky enough to experience it. Harvey was raised to believe it was a form of mental illness. When it actually happened, neither of them noticed." (2011)
Teen Wolf
*Addicted to Loving You by teaboytoaliens. All-Human AU in which Stiles and Scott open a coffee shop and find out they're in love. (2012)
* You Had Me at Canapes by LadyArinn. "Stiles doesn't mean to sneak into the Hale wedding, and he certainly doesn't mean to have cliche coat-room sex with the bride's uncle, but what had happened, happened, and it wasn't like he could just leave. At least, not until he got to have some of that cake." (2017)
* Convenient by exclamation. "Stiles knows what he is to Derek: convenient. He knows that Derek isn't looking for a relationship, just someone to have casual sex with. Which is why Stiles is so surprised to find Derek setting up a romantic dinner for Valentine's Day." (2015)
Voltron: Legendary Defender
* A Fish And A Bird by by Methoxyethane. "Lance has a boyfriend. Lance does not realize he has a boyfriend. Keith, understandably, does not react well." (2016)
* Curly Fries by SaraJaye. Keith and Shiro realize they're dating while sharing greasy takeout food. (2019)
* Sail Across the Sky Just to Get to You. Or: The one where Shiro and Keith start dating, but Keith doesn't know that. (2018)
* half-elf ranger. Keith and Lance play Monsters & Mana together. (2019)
* A healthy dose of Denial never hurt anyone, or 5 times Keith and Lance deny they are boyfriends, and the time they finally don't. (2017)
Other
* Becoming Cory and Shawn by oncethrown. The story outlines the friendship of Cory and Shawn, to their respective breakups with Topanga and Angela, with the 8th chapter having them realize they've fallen into a romantic relationship of their own. (Boy Meets World, 2008)
*Coffeeshop Muffins by skellerbvvt. Modern AU in which Merlin and Arthur are mostly unware that they're a couple while knowing that people misconstruct their relationship and they really don't care. Complete with both a Bromance ending and a Romantic one. Curiously enough, it's not a coffeeshop fic. (Merlin, 2010)
*Taking Things Slowly by KuriKuri. Natasha thinks that you're not dating unless the person you're dating knows that they're dating you. Clint begs to differ. Clint/Coulson with oblivious!Phil. (The Avengers Movieverse, 2013)
*the pawn to your king by blackwayfarers. Harry thinks Liam and Louis are dating, so they pretend to be boyfriends to get back at him. Turns out Harry was right. (One Direction, 2013)
* Unknown Quantities by xylodemon: (Destiel) "No one ever tells Dean anything. (or: Dean Winchester and the not-relationship crisis of 2014)" (Supernatural, 2014)
*How to get along with your boss (and accidentally seduce him in the process) by silverynight. In which Newt Scamander thinks he's just being friendly to his new boss, Percival, when in actual fact he's flirting. Percival flirts back, and Newt winds up dating the man without realising it. (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, 2017)
* Just Like That by SaraJaye. Minako and Makoto realize they're dating while sharing an ice cream cone. (Sailor Moon, 2019)
* BUILT ON HOPE: THE REBELLION SERIES by Rehearsal_Dweller. Jack and David live together domestically and are raising adoptive children but continue to obliviously pine over each other. (Newsies in Star Wars, 2021–2022)
==Archives & Links==
* Didn't Know They Were Dating at AO3
* Recs tagged as Didn't Know They Were Dating at Fancake
==References==
Category:Romance Tropes
Category:Social Media Feature