Sania Mirza: A Riposte

Dear assholes,
So I was reading Uncyclopedia and after rereading AAAAAAAAA! and Captain Obvious, I went looking for some tits. I went and searched for the page on my favourite massively-jugged Indian tennis star. What the fuck happened to the Sania Mirza article? It used to be . It was great. But now the terrorists have taken it away from us. Some Allah-loving little shit has gone and complained and got it changed. This guy is too full of hate to take a god damned joke. Take a look at what he's done to it.
Whoever made the change has got to stop reading his fucking muslim Bible and use his eyes for something worthwhile. Sania Mirza is fucking hot. Who cares if she comes from some backwards country in the middle east? I have just as much a right to look at pictures of hot women from India as from any other country. That's because I come from a little place called America. It's in the constitution.
We gotta do something about this. Someone needs to rewrite the page so that its FUNNY and not just a pathetic rant. Here's a list of all the things wrong with Muslims and their shitty opinions.
=== What an Idiot! ===
*Honestly, how can this guy say he loved "I Maed Yuky DooDoo" and expect anyone to take his complaint seriously. That's the most astonishing display of pure stupidity I have seen in my life. He needs to read up on his Chuck Norris facts. Then he'll understand humor. Actually that's not a good idea - he'll probably try to ban it. I hope Chuck Norris kicks his ass.
*The man should understand that celebrities ARE GOING TO BE MADE FUN OF at only their expense. Like the other day I was walking down the street and suddenly I saw Mel B from the Spice Girls. I thought "fucking hell. It's Mel B from the spice girls. She has great tits". So I started shouting abuse at her - for fun. It was so funny - it was all "where's eddy murphy now?" and "I hope you get cancer". Now that is freedom of speech. Something that the muslims could learn from.
*Listen to this: "If you would like to discuss this matter further, then you are more than welcome to come along to Dalal Street, Mumbai, where there will be a public effigy burning this Saturday. Just look for the angry mob". 
:An angry mob?? India must be a shitty country if that's the best thing they have to do... and over an article on a joke site!! It's almost as if these people think the article is serious. This is Uncyclopedia: nothing's serious here. The guy is a real moron for not realising that. But there's no way that I'm going to go to his tiny little country where hardly anyone lives just so I can tell him.
*He refuses to believe Sania Mirza would play with some girl from Israel. The moron doesn't even believe Israel exists! Well, I've just looked it up and Israel does exist. All the guy had to do was use Google!!!
*Lastly, but possibly most importantly, this dumb fucker says that they cannot watch this woman play tennis because of her outfit. She's not allowed on the tv. What the fuck is that about? Honestly, no wonder these middle easterners are so angry and always at war... they hold onto age old outdated beliefs that cause more sexual frustration and social constipation than anyone could tolerate! Plus, seriously, have you seen her tits?! Her outfit is the 'main reason' to watch her on tv!!!!!!!
This idiot needs to be taught a lesson. We need to rewrite it so it will piss off the muslims as much as possible. I say we should just fill it with Jews. Just make every fifth word Jew. Maybe we should mention Israel too. The guy seems to hate that place as well for some reason.
There's one more thing that these muslim people all seem to go crazy and jihadidad over. That something is hardcore pornography. Interracial hardcore pornography. I might go find some now. If while I'm gone someone can write a new version of Sania Mirza for me and include a bunch of Jews and pictures of her bending over, that would be great.
– Preceding unsigned comment added by 90.241.31.45
P. S. Oh and if India has a problem with this, we'll just bomb their stupid asses back to the stone age.. well probably not, but that would be great in my opinion.
Category:Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
Category:Self-reference
Category:Retrospectives
Category:Tennis
Category:Articles written in the style of letters