Lost Charlie Brown Special

Back in 2008, I was at Savers to find some retro video games, since the game consoles and games themselves are down to 50 cents. Which is a good thing. Then, I came across a blank clamshell case of a VHS tape, and when I opened it, it was a Charlie Brown special. I was more than excited because I used to love Peanuts. Both the comics and the TV specials featuring good ol' Charlie Brown. The tape said, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, and a blurb that said, Featuring a LOST special. "Lost special?" I thought to myself. "I didn't think there was gonna be a lost special." So I was so anxious in a good matter that I had to buy it.
The guy in the counter, however, said, "Dude, you cannot have this." I asked why and he answered, "This gave me nightmares. It is-" The sentence stopped abruptly and he was holding his stomach like he was pregnant, and was immediately scared. I didn't want to argue, so I bought the tape. "Jeez Louise," said I, "what's his problem? How bad can this possibly be?"
I walked home with my tape, and like I said, I was so anxiously excited to watch the Thanksgiving special, which I have not seen in a long time, and the lost episode. When I got into the house, nobody was there. My dad is still at work, my mom is out of town, and my brother is at school, so it was just me, watching some good ol' Charlie Brown.
I was ready to watch the videotape, as I put it in the VHS player. It had previews and commercials, so I fast-forward those parts, and finally, I got ready to watch the lost special myself. I really wish I didn't though.
"How horrifying can it be?" I said once again. We open the special up with the old Charlie Brown music, which is normal. But, the animation quality however, is pretty bad. Even worse than the first Charlie Brown special, A Charlie Brown Christmas. It looked like something you see off of a Z-grade movie. It only had Charlie Brown and Linus walking like idiots, for some odd reason. Snoopy was there, and he was acting stupid than normal. They were all stupid. I lowered my left brow which led me to think what was going on here.
Then, Charlie Brown said, "Forgive me for I have to kill you." I didn't expect Charlie Brown to say that, but whatever. The credits open up and it had ominous music playing. The title said, "It's a Fantastic Suicide, Charlie Brown." That was kinda freaky and screwed up in a way, since that title alone is NOT kid-friendly, especially after Charlie himself said such a thing. The credits keep on going, and the words say, "Written and Directed by Charles M. Schultz and Satan." I thought to myself, "Oh no, this can't be good."
We cut to Charlie Brown and friends in school, all of them actually sad. Snoopy came in school, and not in his usual disguise to teach, like in the election special, at least. To make things even weirder, he talks. Snoopy never talks in a Charlie Brown special. And it was in a German accent. He said, "Auschwitz is a good place to camp out." I was frightened to hear that sentence coming from Snoopy, since Auschwitz was a Nazi state in World War II. Then, Charlie Brown said, "I want to take a shit on you you." That itself shocked me! I mean, to hear such a horrible sentence about fecal matter to Snoopy. Then, Snoopy said, "Get off of my back." And then Charlie Brown took a steaming load of shit on Snoopy, and the video quality was static-like.
Then, Lucy got up the desk and walked to Charlie Brown like nothing happened. She said, "What are you doing?" Charlie Brown said slurry and slowly like he was drunk, "I- am shitting- dog- Snoopy." Lucy then cried, and she wasn't acting like she was crying, she was actually screaming in agony. To make matters worse, Charlie Brown had a grenade and threw it in Lucy's mouth, and the school exploded. Everybody had blood, guts, and grotesque bodies thrown into pieces. Charlie Brown and Snoopy got out and then, we see a 2-minute stock footage of the Columbine High School shooting from 1999. Keep in mind that this is a '70s special, so I find that weird to see modern day footage of the school shooting that happened in 1999 in a '70s special of Charlie Brown.
I was scared at this point, and I said, "NO MORE! Please god, no!" Then, Charlie Brown said, "Do you want me to stop? I won't stop." Then, he grabbed a pistol gun, and shot Snoopy in the head. "Spread the word," said Snoopy as he died. Then, we hear Linus screaming in agony in the background for a fraction of 3 minutes. Then, Charlie Brown walked and said, "Shut up!" I really wanted to stop and eject the tape, but nothing happened, the tape was still going.
Charlie Brown then threatened Linus to eat Snoopy's carcass or else he will shoot him. The audio and video quality, at this point, went static again. Then, we cut to a minute and a half of pitch black, and then, Charlie Brown took a rifle, put it to his head, and whispered, "It had to happen while it lasted." as he shot himself. It was semi-realistic blood, meaning that there is blood that is drawn realistically, but in a cartoon manner.
Then, we see Charles M. Schultz, the creator of Peanuts, drawn there, and literally went insane. I finally managed to eject the tape, and it melted. I threw it in the trash and said, "Stay away from me, you little fucking shitfuck!" I never watched the Peanuts specials after that haunting memories of that special. I was afraid to look for Charlie Brown specials on YouTube.
I found Craig Schultz, the son of Charles M. Schultz, because I am good friends with him, and when I talked to him about the lost special he saw, he was speechless. He asked, "How did you manage to see that special." I said, "I got it from Savers." So I dug out the trash to find the melted tape to show proof that the special existed as Craig said, "Oh my, this special is rare." When I saw Craig in person, I gave the tape to him. Melted, but it was still proof. So finally, I watched a REAL Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special and I felt better.
However, I still couldn't erase my memories from that frightening special. Whatever you do, do NOT see the lost Charlie Brown special!
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Category:Satire
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
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