Welp. DEW

Ok guyz, i knows you won't beleive meh on this, but im tellin' yah, it's truer than the fact that sean connery would do a great james bond, as long as he works on the accent or whatever.
Now, you's be hearin' about those scary games that have been hacked by an ancient demonic demon that looks like the main character of the game that you bought on eBay from the old homeless guy on the yard sale, and i bet you're thinking that this is the same story as the other ones. you would be theoretically incorrect. for shizzo.
==So, on to the spaghetti itself:==
So i was browsing the homeless man's eBay yard sale of demonically hacked demon games the other day. nah, just kidding. i kinda gots yaz tho, 'mmiright?
So a long time ago (A.K.A tuesday), in a land far, far away (Like 10 feet away from my bed (My primary source of hanging out, By the by. the by.)) i was playing those damn compooter games when suddenly i was grabbed by the Turkmenistani mafia for no apparent reason whatsoevars, and kidnapped to the house next door. then they punched me with bullet to the faceykins, and i fell deadconcious.
whilst undeadcious, i had a Dream aboot he vider gayum i was a playin' befo the japanese mafia grabbed meh. It was super minecraft simulator for the N69, emulated to the batcomputer. i was standing in the middle of a weed feild, unt i was holding a flamethrower in my bear hands. so i was like, "Welp. DEW" and started burning that weedz, yoh. i got Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh as a kite, mahng. And i ain't talkin' about chicken 'n gravy here, beyotch! any wich way, suddenly, the dudes from the moon mafia came. attacking me and i had to toast thems too. but hey, it's all a dream brutha, so i went along withs it. suddenly a member of the illuminati mafia woke me up, and LE GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I had burned all of their atlantis mafia homies, and i was in a drug feild! oh shizznitz, dude. this was not Exellent.
==Now, bruh, here's the real scary part, so listen:==
So the dude from the Twilight zone mafia told me he was gonna torure me and my friendos. at first I was confused- I had no friendos, the only one i have moven to new orleans after obama nuked sweden. but then it hit me- LE GASP AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!2 i had two ceiling chairs i met at a bar fight last yearkend! "noo, not clark and jonas!" i yelled. hoping the guy from the decepticon mafia would leave them alone, but soon enough, they brought the chairs all the way to jamaica where de drogg feildsh be at mon, and thus began the cruel act of cruelty against me, clark & Jonas.
first off, they attacked/torturized me. that wasn't so bad, due to all the dregz causing me too go all not- feel- any- damn- thang- in- my- body- y, but then they moved on to jonas. oh god jonas... *sobs a little*
no- no... it's ok. i'll go on. I'm fine. *audible exhale* so the bad guy from the siamese mafia started by cutting off two of jonas's legs. splinters went everywhere. it was horrible. his cries of pain were horrible to listen to. soon enough, clark cried out to his brother, but it didn't stop the horrors. they kept going, too. that fucking communist party mafia kept hurting him. They lit him on fire, they SAT on him, they painted him embarriasing colours. i... I can still hear those screams... Jonas's final words to me were simply: "Smeef, take care of Clark, ok? make sure nothing bad happens to him. blegh." And then he was dead. The bikini bottom mafia stopped after jonas died. they sent me, clark and jonas's remains back home to what's left of sweden.
Life is... way more quiet now. sure, clark still skips about on the ceiling like the ceiling chair he is, but... but life will never be the same again. The beaver mafia will pay for what they did. was i not high off my ass when they did that to him, i would have activated sexy mode and kicked their asses before jonas could be harmed. but i swear, they will never, i repeat- NEVER get away with what they have done to me. noone fucks with a Grubenhubenheimer. noone.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Dreams