Jigglespeare the Killer

T'was a warm, Summer's eve', when the young, noble child awoke upon a chilling wind in his quarters. The doors to his balcony were swung open, and the air of the night has invaded the sanctity of the peace. The boy looked upon the darkness. His gaze met upon a man, adorned in noble clothing, wielding a parchment in his hand. As the young lad stared in shock, the man spoke:
"Hush, young boy, avert your gaze and return to the sandman's domain." As these words were spoken, the father stepped in to the room, wielding a stick for defense. The invader threw the parchment upon him, confusing him long enough, so he could flee from the home. The dazed and baffled father walked to his son, overjoyed to see him. He turned his gaze upon the parchment. He stepped towards it, picked it up and inspected it. The contents in the paper were words of pitiful quality, and yet, the father was astounded by them. T'was the work of the man who the townsmen had no certain knowledge of, but were still cautious of, for they were not certain, if this villain brought pestilence or was just a nuisance upon the owners of homes.
The day that young Joseph arrived to his schooling grounds, it held a foreboding emotion. The school bode an ill aura, and yet Joseph found solace in it. The Grand Library, where they stored many works that no regular man or woman could appreciate. Young Joseph always hid himself away there, for he was never respected in this house, for his stature and physique was that of a plain man, whereas the rest were men and women of a grand stature.
The woman he adored, was far too occupied with matters of personal quality and pleasure of others. While heartbroken, Joseph always has enjoyed the works of the noble Shakespeare, the wise Charles Dickens and the lord of terror Stephen King. The works of these men has always given him inspiration for literature, where he would spend countless nights in practice, and in the 'morrow, be as groggy and exhausted, like a man who spend a night in a tavern, surrounded by chickens and swines of a farm. Today was like any other, he would attend his lesson, spend fruitless minutes wooing the woman of his dreams and then have his soul violated by those, who would not even know what a book is. After the day was done and our young hero was awaiting for the public carriage to take him back to his household, he heard profanities coming towards his general direction.
"Joseph! You foul villain!", screamed the man, intruding in to Joseph's tranquility. It was Moriarty, the scoundrel who occupies the woman that he holds dear. 
"What is it that thou wants, pray?"
"Your presence offends me! I say, I shall cleave you in twixt and befoul your body!"
"Befoul my body!? I say, you are more mad than a cow that has eaten bad wheats!"
The two men spend countless hours arguing, until Moriarty fled for he has founded himself defeated by Joseph's fine craft in words.
At home, his family have awaited his return, it would be common for them to await for him to arrive to the household, but today, the household had a peculiar aura about it. Joseph went up the staircase, leading him to his quarters. There he found his noble brother Sherlock, sitting on a chair and reading on the local paper of news.
"I say Joseph! Haveth thou read the news of the day? Moriarty has been spoken against by a mysterious lad! The Royal Street Peacekeepers are now looking for the man, it is certainly going to be a treat to see what will happen."
"Yes. Quite good. Sherlock, do you haveth an idea of who this perpetrator might be?"
"Oh you know that I've no talent in solving puzzles such as this! Though I would suspect a certain-"
Before the noble Sherlock could finish his sentence, the sounds of steeds running towards their household could be heard. T'is the Royal Street Peacekeepers, coming in to collect Joseph for the deviant deed that he has committed.
Some time has passed, and Joseph has been found guilty of the deed. But the noble man did not spend his time, rotting away in the dungeons.
"That foul, putrid... I shall bring great pestilence upon Moriarty for his deeds!"
After a day passed after his sentencing, Sherlock came to deliver Joseph some greatly ill news. Moriarty has deflowered the woman of his deepest fantasies, and have decided to wed in the eyes of the Great Mozart. The news crushed Joseph and his dreams, but motivated him for vengeance.
"I understand now! I shall bring Moriarty to his doom! I shall write such stories, that he will find himself in a pickle, that he will not recover from, and lose everything he has! From this day forward, I shall don a new name! This is the dawn for... Jigglespeare the Killer!"
With that said, the newly named Jigglespeare walked to the bars of his cell and called for the watchmen.
"I request for quill and parchment!"
After another few days have passed, Jigglespeare called for the watchmen again, until one arrived.
"What is it, foul wretch?"
"I beseech you, kind watcher, I request that you read this."
Jigglespeare offered the watchman a rolled up parchment. The watchman took the scroll with caution, and unrolled it to read it's contents. His expression quickly changed, and then looked upon Jigglespeare, who was seen smiling.
"I shall do as you say..." As soon as the watcher said so, he unlocked his cell to release the foul Jigglespeare, and then entered the cell himself, and began hitting himself in the head with the blackjack he held, until knocking himself out silly.
"I cannot believe that this had worked! Now that I am free from such a cage, I can now plan my way for Moriarty's holiest of days, and I have a special story for him..."
And so, with that said, the villainous Jigglespeare departed fort he church of the wedding grounds.
He arrived to the wedding and looked around for a way to enter the chapel. The front door was guarded by the Royal Street Peacekeepers, who enjoy coming to weddings of no particular grand stature.
"Good day to you, gentlemen!" said Jigglespeare, as he walked up to the peacekeepers, who stood guard as soon as he arrived.
"We sayeth! What is the meaning of this uninvited forthcomings!? This is the time of day for a wedding and the fine dame's time for high tea!"
"I only wish to give thou a parchment to read, if it pleases you." Jigglespeare then offered all of the peacekeepers a parchment, which they read then and walked away slowly with expressionless eyes in their faces.
Arriving in to the church itself, he looked around the packed room, the putrid Moriarty was already there with the bride, and they were already speaking the »I do«
"Attention! Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you a story for the newly-weds!"
Everyone turned their gaze towards Jigglespeare. Moriarty's gaze was staring at him with a murderous gaze, how dare he arrive to a very special day.
Jigglespeare unrolled a scroll and then cleared his throat to read it out loud:
"As the noble hero arrived to the chapel, he gazed upon the bride and groom, the bride ran towards him and the groom stood still, then began throttling the priest, for he believes that the holy man is disguised as the devil. Everyone else in the chapel began to battle each other, as the hero and the bride fled the house of the holy lord to deflower each other and live happily ever after." after telling the tale, he took a bow and observed what would happen, and it transpired, just as he expected.
The bride, the woman he has always loved, ran towards Jigglespeare and jumped in to his arms. Moriarty, turning his gaze towards the priest, and then jumped at his throat and began to throttle him. The crowd itself began to attack each other; punching, kicking, biting each other like vile, feral beasts uncaged after being in captivity for such a long time.
Jigglespeare and the woman however, they both departed from the church, and the end has happened just as it was written, and he has found himself with everything he has ever wanted.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:MARY SUE ALERT
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck