Joanna Corey

Joanna Corey is one of the most mysterious human beings whoever lived; an academic, nay, a renaissance woman par excellence, who has mastered so many fields of study that she holds high-ranking posts at some of the most renowned universities in the world. She also has several non-academic positions which, on first sight, seem rather curious for a college professor.
==California State University==
Corey is primarily known as a sociologist, psychologist, theologist and economist at California State University. She has published several key papers as a sociologist, examining broad topics ranging from increased homosexuality among comic book fans and increased homosexuality among Russian musical acts to the amount of homosexuals in Hollywood.
Her theological work has focused on Christianity, with her most recently published piece analyzing the latest book written by Pope Benedict XVI, and its consequences for the future of Christmas, a topic she also touched on when discussing men with white beards at Yuletide.
Corey's articles on theology have often crossed over into economics, with her proposal that, in the wake of the extraordinary cost of the 2012 Presidential race, the US adopt the Coptic Pope method of election, proving particularly noteworthy. Away from religion, she has written a several stirring pieces about the future of journalism as a viable business, including one exploring Clark Kent's attempt to write a newspaper entirely by himself, and commented on China's place in world economics.
Her expertise surrounding the internet means she occupies several positions on the supermation info-highway. She write as Technology Analyst for the National Enquirer on subjects such as revenge porn and sexual harrassment websites.
Despite her apparent presence in California, she is also listed as a state psychologist in Fair Dinkum, Australia. That's weird. Anyway, she made news programs around the world when she described Bruce Kasprowicz, the amateur Australian gold prospector who found a gold nugget weighing 5.5k as a "dolt" with a "magpie's concept of gold".
==Work at British Universities==
Commuting back and forth across the Atlantic, Corey holds a number of key positions in the United Kingdom where she is valued for her academic versatility. The UK is famous for its lack of hygiene and specifically its people's aversion to soap, and Corey's work on penis holding at Queen's University, Belfast has helped reduce MSRA cases in Northern Ireland.
She is also an equine specialist at the London School of Medicine, and her expertise came to the fore during the recent furore over Tesco's horse-beef burgers and their possible link to Mad Horse Disease.
Working in the UK allows Corey to have a physical connection with Europe, a priority for her given that she has a profound interest in Italian culture. She is Professor of Italian at Manchester Metropolitan University, and was able to decode a particularly Mediterranean argument between two members of Manchester City FC and wrote Up Pompeii: Well Preserved and Well Hung about the famously blessed citizens of Pompeii.
At Cambridge University, Corey is professor of history, although she recently made some widely discredited claims about Richard III.
==Outside of the academic world==
Away from her college work, Corey has several other forms of gainful employment. She is a madam at the Horse Inn brothel in Seattle, home of two strippers who took on the name Physical Cliff in the wake of the travails of the American economy. She describes herself on the brothel's website as "an unashamed pun-loving criminal".
She is also an online bookmaker. She recently tipped disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong to make a victorious comeback in his attempt to ride Oprah Winfrey in the next Tour de France. Corey said, "Remember, he is a white American, he will have an instinctive feel for how to ride a black person into the ground." 
She has two children, Rory and Tori, both of whom are avid Manchester United fans. In 2011, Corey became president of the Manchester United Supporters' Mams' association, through which she campaigns vigorously for consumer rights and a woman's right to spell diminutives of the word mother according to her geographical location.
==References==
* UnNews:Armstrong to ride Oprah in next Tour de France
* UnNews:Australian nugget man has 'magpie's concept of gold'
* UnNews:Number of gay TV characters "still far behind number of gay actors and producers"
* UnNews:Homosexual comic characters 'giving geeks ideas'
* UnNews:TaTu to reunite after Pussy Riot prison camp decision
* UnNews:Clark Kent finds sustainable online journalism business model
* UnNews:US to consider Coptic Pope method for 2016 election
* UnNews:A guide to Pope Benedict's updated Christmas story
* UnNews:Former Last FM chairman launches controversial sexual assault site
* UnNews:Concern as entire Chinese race disappears for a minute
* UnNews:Hunter Moore struggling to find something worse than revenge porn
* UnNews:What happened to Italian cocks?
* UnNews:Ferdinand hurts own face with shirt
* UnNews:Man realises he holds penis with left hand
* UnNews:Heavily bearded relative feels snubbed at party
* UnNews:'Physical Cliff': the name that's sweeping the stripper industry
* UnNews:Mancini-Balotelli bust up featured 'incomprehensible gestures'
* UnNews:Tesco deny horse-burgers had mad horse disease
* UnNews:House star denies he is Richard III
Category:Academics
Category:Uncyclopedia In-Jokes