nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Wheel of Deities

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What with hundreds of religions out there, and some of them having hundreds, thousands, even millions of gods, it's natural to be confused when you're looking for one to pray to or make a sacrifice to. What's a modern, cute, tiny man to do? So we've provided below a Wheel of Deities for your convenient god-choosing needs.
===How can I use the Wheel of Deities?===
 
*The easiest way is to simply use "eeny-meeny-miney-mo". However, according to the Comprehensive Statistical Analysis of Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Mo performed in 1995, this method will choose the same god 99.99999% of the time. The methods below are recommended instead.
*Print it out and hang it on your wall; then, throw a dart at it with closed eyes. Which god did you pick? What's that, you say? You picked the wall? Pray to the god in the wall, then! See how it works?
*Use the Wheel as a schematic for a full-size, rotating version, make a pointer that points at a particular place on the Wheel, and give it a spin! Where did the pointer pick? Really?! You're going to Tahiti!
===I've found my god for today. What should I do next?===
*Say an introductory prayer, just to say hi to Him/Her/It.
*Ask for a sign that it/she/he's the real thing.
*Build an altar. Offer something in exchange for your desired gift.
**Food. Leave the basket.
**Blood. Remember to use clean cutlery.
**Your soul. Or the neighbor's.
***Prostrate before the altar.
***Better yet, on the altar.
**Your firstborn. Or a neighbor's.
===Frequently prayed questions===
*What if I'm an atheist?
**Use Whiteout™ to blank out the names on the Wheel (note: print first). Then pick your blank spot for the day. Then do nothing.
*I was an atheist, but now I have cancer and I'm thinking this god thing might be worth a try.
**In answer to your non-question, you can still pick a god, but you might want to try one of the merciful Christian ones. Anubis, for instance, might consume your soul out of vengeance if you call on him now. And it always helps to say you're really really sorry.
*My food offering is getting moldy and starting to smell. I don't think my god has touched it.
**Clearly the god of your choice has rejected your offer. Consider his dietary preferences: Is he vegetarian? Is he a blood-eater? Or does he only eat souls? Remember, some gods will only take fresh souls, so you have to kill your offering on the altar. Trust me, they can smell store-bought beef a mile away.
==See also==
*HowTo:Build an altar in five easy steps
Category:Religion
Category:Deities
Category:Wheels 
Category:Game shows
Wheelchair of the legs

Wheelchair of the legs, or WOTL, is an often fatal disease that affects approximately 8 out of 9 people worldwide. There is unfortunately no known cure for the disease, and those who contract it are urged to go out and have casual sex whilst bungee jumping while they still can.
==Symptoms==
If you believe you have any of the following symptoms, consult a doctor immediately and bury all the stuff you don't want the wife to find. And put on a clean pair of underwear for God's sake - you don't want to be buried in filthy y-fronts do you? What would the neighbours say?
*Headache
*Vomiting
*Fever
*Loss of vision
*Loss of limbs
*Sleepiness
*Grumpiness
*Dopiness
*Bashfulness
*Star Wars obsession
*Sexual Dysfunction
*Hypochondria
*Dysfunctional Dysfunction
*Partially completing
*Addiciton to reality TV
*Rigor Mortis
*Decomposition
*Excessive Rolling
Please note that in some cases you may not notice any of these symptoms, but may still have contracted WOTL. In the event that you start feeling at all paranoid, wrap yourself up in cotton wool, and deposit yourself at the nearest asylum.
==The 1st stage==
At the first stage the patient begins to feel light-headed, and starts to run around in circles barking like a dog. Other symptoms include yelping, growling, whizzing on rugs and chasing cars. In some severe cases, WOTL sufferers have been known to even grow, seemingly out of nowhere, a small stubby growth on the end of their spine, not unlike a tail, and begin chasing themselves around the room.
==The 2nd stage==
At the 2nd stage of infection the patient begins to goosestep around the room with their finger held to their filtrum, shouting "Yes you did. You invaded Poland." The patient will then typically grab any Spaniards in the room by the scruff of their necks and babble incoherently.
==The 3rd stage==
At the 3rd stage of infection the patient returns to a somewhat normal state, and doesn't appear to have any symptoms whatsoever. Excluding the horrible and secret symptoms that actually occur.
==The 4th stage==
At the 4th stage of infection the patient suddenly sprouts wheels from their knees, and rolls backwards and forwards until their heart explodes, resulting in death and sore knees. But you get free wheels, so that's an upside =)
==Famous Sufferers==
Only one famous person has ever contracted WOTL ever. Ever.
*Patrick Stewart
For people from Britain and Texas, you win, because you know a second person who suffers from WOTL.
*Christopher Reeve
==See Also==
* Doctor Who
* Handicaps
* Disabilities
* Stephen Hawking
Category: Diseases
Wheeling Jesuit University/Buildings

Wheeling Jesuit University contains a number of solid structures, often housing portals to other realms. While some offer temporary safe-haven for the subjects of WJU, others hide appaling torture and depravity. Some of the more notable are:
==Major Buildings==
*Acker Science Center
*Alma Grace Mugabe Center
*Donahue
*Swint Hall
*Swint Hall Annex
*NTTC, otherwise known as Ultimate Federal Pork (Ultimate Council of Light, #34).
*The Center for Evil Technology, or the CET.
==Dorms==
*Campion/McHugh
*Kirby/Sara Tracy
*T-More
*Ignatius, or as the locals call it, The Vortex of Suck.
*Lundy Hall
==Facilities==
 
*Academic Resource Center
*Acker Wind Tunnel
*Common Grounds
*Das Rathskellar
*Fed Acker Huang Observatory
*The Kiosk
*Library of the Damned
*Metaphysical Plant
*Troy Theater
==Holy Sites==
*The Cheese Wedge
*Jesuitdell
*Buildings
Wheeling Jesuit University/Buildings/Cheese Wedge

The Cheese Wedge, or the Chapel of Mary and Joseph, is the primary place of worship on Wheeling Jesuit University, and held the local record for "Most Number of People Grovelling In One Place" for many years until the Biology Department broke it in 2004 following a cell biology mid-term examination. 
==History==
Can't be a Catholic university without having a place to worship Mary - the Cheese Wedge has been around since WJU's first days. It currently is home to eight statues of the Virgin Mary, although two of them are actually rocket launchers in disguise and one of them was made when a local mafia entombed a victim inside one. 
In 2005, Father Stark expelled all Pr0tties from the Cheese Wedge on pain of death should they attempt to return. 
==Design==
The Cheese Wedge is known for its...er, unique design, at least as far as chapels go. The initially proposed design called for the chapel to cover a land area twice the size of the Vatican City; unfortunately, the budget at the time did not allow for such expenditure. 
The Board of Governors were too cheap to hire an actual architect, so they requested a design from a local middle school art class. Four acceptable designs were returned; the design was then to be voted on by the Board of Governors. Unfortunately, every single member was on vacation in an exotic South American location, so their seats were instead occupied by their house pets. The final vote tally: 
*Traditional cathedral shape: 0 votes 
*Fire hydrant design: 2 votes 
*Fishbone design: 5 votes 
*Cheese Wedge: 13 votes 
A parakeet and an axolotl abstained.
==Miracles==
No miracles have yet been attributed to the Cheese Wedge. In 1991, a miracle was thought to have taken place when several students reported seeing Jesus crying on the Crucifix, but every student was later tested positive for LSD usage.
==Other WJU Buildings==
*Acker Science Center
*Alma Grace Mugabe Center
*Bear Colony
*Donahue
*Lundy Place of Gathering
*NTTC
*Center for Evil Technology
*Swint Hall
Cheese Wedge
Wheeling Jesuit University/Buildings/Das Rathskellar

Das Rathskellar is a special room on Wheeling Jesuit University's campus where students go to lose a bit of their dignity. It has long been the source of stories and rumours about its magical energy, as it is often the case that students who visit the room fail to remember why they were there in the first place once they emerge from it. 
==History==
There are many stories regarding the origins of Das Rathskellar, or "The Ratt", as it is affectionately known as to some students on campus. The most credible story is that The Ratt was started when the legendary Fr. Donahue discovered that a particular section of the student centre was a source of incredible magical energy. He believed that Swint Hall was, in fact, constructed atop a mana vein. Thus, he opened Das Rathskellar; "Rathskellar" means "giant cockroach" in German. A wizarding order was founded to maintain the magical energies brought forth from "The Ratt", and they were utilised in the construction of Wheeling Jesuit University, especially through hypnotising wealthy alumni for the purpose of illiciting gigantic donations. 
The wizarding order faded into obscurity when Prince Coxar joined the History faculty of Wheeling Jesuit University. A powerful Turkish wizard himself, he was singularly able to generate more magical energy than The Ratt could possibly provide in a year. The Ratt was then surreptitiously converted into a bar under the pretence of serving the student body. In fact, the most potent drink The Ratt would ever serve would be water from Big Wheeling Creek strained through an old sock. 
Das Rathskellar was recently bought by Parkhurst Toxic Waste Industries and will be renovated during the coming months. Rumour has it that the beloved Ratt will become a holding ground for political dissidents.
==Comparisons to the German Submarine==
Das Rathskellar has absolutely no connection to Das Boot, at least as far as current information is available. However, rumours abound regarding an alleged plot to smuggle Das Rathskellar to the South Pole at the end of the Second World War, using secret Nazi UFO technology. Once there, the bar would provide fuel for Emo-Hitler's new vengeance weapon, the V-4 Light Beer Cannon. There are also rumoured connections with the mythical continent of Atlantis. 
==Student Input==
Most Wheeling Jesuit University students are fairly happy with the way The Ratt is run, as most students are easily able to pay $50 - $100 for an empty can of Coke. Other than a place to lose one's dignity/virginity/personal hygiene, the consensus among students is almost unanimous that The Ratt is an excellent place to mingle with friends. Considering that the only alternative is an open pit full of broken glass (known as the Lundy Place of Gathering), this is not necessarily high praise. 
==Criticisms==
Das Rathskellar has often been criticised for its smell. However, there is no other place to store the pyre victims, so there is nothing students can do. A student government bill requesting $20,000 for air fresheners was recently denied by the WJU administration, much to the dismay of the student body.
Das Rathskellar
Wheeling Jesuit University/Buildings/Jesuitdell

Jesuitdell is the most holy place on the campus of Wheeling Jesuit University. It is also the home of the Council of Light. 
==History==
Jesuitdell was first contructed in 1880 by Father Jazzman to serve as a home for the Jesuits that had since become the ruling class of Wheeling College after a handover from the Dschinghis Khan Protectorate. An elaborate purifying ceremony was initiated prior to the construction of the building, and Jesuits from all over the world transferred a portion of their power to a rock known as the Supreme Stone of the Jesuits. To this day, the Supreme Stone is housed in the central hall of Jesuitdell and functions as a focal point for Jesuit power on campus. The rest of the building was then constructed around it.
Jesuitdell housed only Jesuits until 1921, after a failed Cissegara assault on Wheeling College. Although the aliens were driven away by the Council of Light, the attack destroyed their headquarters, the Chamber of Justice. Professor Powerful, who was the leader of the Council at the time, vowed to rebuild the headquarters from scratch, but Father Donahue insisted that the Council take residence in Jesuitdell. This move divided the Jesuits, leading to a transdimensional war that saw Donahue's forces victorious (The Jesuit Wars, #20). The surviving Jesuits who opposed Donahue were forced to accept his decision, and the Council of Light has based itself out of Jesuitdell ever since.
The structure has been attacked many times over the years, the most famous attack being the extraterrestrial invasion of 1992. Even internally, many presidents of WJU would prefer that the building be destroyed, despising its shared occupation with the Council of Light. As a safety measure, the Council of Light typically employs one or more Jesuits in its ranks (the current one being Father Stark) to act as both a mediator and defender between less affable Jesuits.
==Overview==
Jesuitdell remains as one of the most mysterious buildings on campus, as any who try and breach the building are vapourised instantly due to the sheer amount of holy energy radiating from the structure. Reportedly, a labyrinth of hallways and rooms exists underground, including a training room for Council of Light members, an information nexus tracking all changes on campus, a secure meeting room for Council briefings, and a state-of-the-art sauna and open bar. The building itself is hidden behind a shroud of light - allowing only those worthy enough, or those with really bitchin sunglasses, to see the structure.
==Source of Power==
Jesuitdell sits above a well of souls who, through their constant prayer and intersession, provide protection and power for those who are worthy enough to channel them. This soul-energy is channelled through the Supreme Stone and grants powers to all who follow the Jesuit Order. 
Jesuitdell
Wheeling Jesuit University/Buildings/Lundy Hall

Built secretly in the summer of 2003, Lundy Hall is the last remnant of the defensive line built by Wheeling Jesuit University. You can find more information in the West Virginia Travel Guide under "The Maginot Line of WVa." The building is, obviously, named after Lundius Superbus, the progressive predecessor to El Presidente.
==History==
The last of 32 fortified positions throughout the Ohio Valley, Lundy Hall was to be the nerve center of a complex set of defensive positions designed to guarantee the Lebensraum of WJU. While they were never used in anger and 18 collapsed under their own weight, the structures sent the desired message to all potential enemies of the school. 
==Philosophy==
The motto of Lundy Hall is "Unity Through Terror". The hapless students that live there are treated to gas leaks, smashed windows, collapsing floors, collapsing ceilings, broken glass, rusty nails, and all manner of potentially fatal hazards. Lundius Superbus believed that "these pussies will eventually have no choice but to get their asses together and build a unified Jesuit community". Although the total occupancy of the building has yet to exceed five, hints of this philosophy coming true are there.
A particular difficulty that Lundy Hall faces is convincing students to live there. Hologram technology was considered, as was open threats and torture in the face of refusal. Most students have chosen death to another semester in Lundy Hall, much to the disappointment of the Board of Governors. 
==Lundy Hall and You==
While Lundy Hall is no longer used in anger it is still used by the University in times of great need. Lately Lundy Hall has been favored over the catacombs of Campion/McHugh as the home of the ultra-secret Comrade Stalin Re-Education Program. 
==Celebrity Visits==
Big Brother once thought of staying at Lundy Hall. Colonel Sanders is also thought to occasionally haunt the Hall.
==WJU Dorms==
*Campion/McHugh
*Kirby/Sara Tracy
*T-More
*Ignatius
Lundy Hall
Wheeling Jesuit University/Buildings/Swint Hall

Swint Hall is a building on Wheeling Jesuit University that is in a constant state of flux. As a result, the hour that would normally be dedicated as "lunchtime" in Swint Hall lasts from 11 A.M. to 4 P.M. Real Time. Swint Hall is the location of many of WJU's more important capacities, including Residence Life, The Benedum Room, Das Rathskellar, and, until 2003, the Office of Multicultural Affairs, which has since burnt down. The building is closely monitored by the League of Evil due to its importance as a campus nexus. 
==History==
Swint Hall was constructed in 1956 to serve the student body. It was built with the Souls of the Damned, explaining why Demons are quite attracted to the locale. It has since been added onto many times: the Troy Theater was built on the anniversary of the Sack of Troy in 1963, the Satellite Bay was built in secret in 1970, and Swint Hall Annex was constructed under Father Rom's presidency with his implementation of his controversial "Lebensraum" movement. 
==Attacks==
Because of Swint Hall's importance as part of WJU's infrastructure, it has been the staging ground for numerous skirmishes throughout its history. Clock Spider has attempted to eat the building three times, and it was almost bombed in 1994 by the International Student Terror Cell, although no one was ever arrested. Most recently, El Presidente attempted to launch a coup against the reigning Student Government. He installed himself as dictator for 8 months before being forced to resign. 
In 2003, it was reported that two ninjas were seen on top of Swint Hall. This has never been confirmed. 
=="Swint"==
Swint Hall was actually supposed to named "Smint Hall", after the breath-freshener, but some blonde undoubtedly hung the W upside-down. The Board of Governors was too damn lazy to fix it, so the name "Swint" remains to this day. 
==So Why The Hell Does No One Call It The "William And Mary Student Center", Or Whatever The Hell It Says Above The Entrance?==
Because they are shape-shifters.
==The Swint Hall Directory==
*The Benedum Room
*Common Grounds
*Das Rathskellar
*Library of the Damned
*Swint Hall Annex
*Troy Theater
==Other WJU Buildings==
*Acker Science Center
*Alma Grace Mugabe Center
*Bear Colony
*Cheese Wedge
*Donahue
*Lundy Place of Gathering
*NTTC
*Center for Evil Technology
Swint Hall
Wheeling Jesuit University/Buildings/Swint Hall Annex

Swint Hall Annex was constructed as an add-on building to Swint Hall after WJU's Father Rom declared the Lebensraum Plan active in 1939...err, that is to say, 1976. 
The ground upon which the Swint Hall Annex sits was once a Native American burial ground. The illustrious Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia granted the Native Americans a 2-ft by 2-ft plot of land near to the then-unbuilt Swint Hall in 1833. Efforts were made to displace them from campus once Swint Hall had been built, but none were successful until the Lebensraum Plan brought in Panzer tanks and forcefully compelled the Native Americans to bury their dead elsewhere. Father Rom wasn't sure what he wanted to put there once he got the land, so he immediately okayed the Swint Hall Annex when it arrived on his desk. 
==Services==
Swint Hall Annex is the location of the Bookstore of the People, WJU's company bookstore, as well as the Propaganda Room, where students can pick up their mail after it has been screened. Campus Insecurity also occupies a room in the Swint Hall Annex, where they are paid to not respond to calls. 
==Ghosts==
There are two malicious Ghosts that live in Swint Hall Annex, presumably the spirits of the unhappy Native American dead. One of them adjusts the pressure on the water fountain so that it squirts in one's face, and the other is capable of possessing the automatic teller machine, rendering it unusable when it is most needed. Rumour has it that these roving spirits are somehow connected to former librarian Smelly Bison. 
Swint Hall Annex
Wheeling Jesuit University/Buildings/The Kiosk

The Kiosk is the last bastion of human hope, and it is almost as finicky and picky as human hope itself. Sometimes, there is food there, and sometimes, there isn't. The students of Wheeling Jesuit University routinely enjoy such torture, hence the continued existence of The Kiosk. The Kiosk was founded in 1603 by traders who were dissatisfied with local Turkish cuisine as provided by the Dschinghis Khan protectorate.
==Function==
The Kiosk is a subsidiary of Parkhurst Toxic Waste Dispoal Industries. Its primary purpose can considered to be one of the following:
(a) to serve food
(b) to serve overpriced food
(c) to anatagonise students
Depending on the day of the week, The Kiosk can serve none of those capacities, several of them, or all three. Unfortunately, The Kiosk does not serve beer.
For being bereft of Mountain Dew, The Kiosk has received hateful criticism from the Churchill Society, Wheeling on more than one occasion.
==The Kiosk as a Metaphor for Life==
Much like The Back Gate, The Kiosk's unbridled uselessness has prompted many students to understand its existence in a much more symbolic way. At WJU, students are often called to look at ordinary objects in new ways in order to understand a deeper truth about the meaning of life, and so it is with The Kiosk.
The most common method of interpeting The Kiosk is seeing it as an allegory of human desperation. Being trapped in physical bodies, humans are prone to very basic weaknesses - hunger, sex, fatigue, and so on. In some ways, purchasing food from The Kiosk represents an action that results completely from human desperation - a willingness to give up so much for a practically worthless sandwich is the epitome of our human failing. Through The Kiosk, it is hoped that students learn to understand that there is a much higher, spiritual calling than anything we can hope to achieve on Earth.
==The Kiosk and Human Sexuality==
Patrons of The Kiosk have been referred to as "gay" or "lesbian" on more than three occasions.
Kiosk
Category:Wheeling Jesuit University