Command Line

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X startup failed, starting command line ...
Uncyclux 6.66 LTS uncyclo-laptop tty2
Login: uncyclopedia
Password:
Uncyclux uncyclo-laptop 6.66.2.7.18281828-459-045 #1 SMP PREEMPT Wed Mar 14
06:53:58 UTC 1592 i386 GNU/Uncyclux
The programs included with the Uncyclux system are free software;
BUT MAY NOT BE DISTRIBUTED. It is important that you don't
distribute this software, because then our IRC Channels get flooded.
Uncyclux comes with ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY, to the extent permitted by
applicable law.
You have mail.
Last login: Wed Jan 1 00:00:00 1969
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ help
Welcome to Uncyclux 6.66, "Oblong Otter." Based off the UncycloKernel, this is
the best release of Uncyclux yet!
  --help
  Displays actual help.
  --i question
  Interactive version of actual help
  --omgwtfbbq
  Secret Feature
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ where is the GUI?
bash: where: command not found
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ help --help
NO HELP FOR YOU N00B.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ about
Uncyclux was based off of the UncycloKernel. Its slogan is
"Linux for Human Beans"
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ omgwtfbbq
Secret feature disabled for n00bs. It's for your own good.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ python
Welcome to UncycloPythonTM! It is Uncyclux(R)'s revolutionary
new Python based command line. 'help' does nothing.
'license' also does nothing. Just start programming.
>>> I not a programmer!
  File "<stdin>", line 1
  I not a programmer!
  ^
  Of course you are!
>>> quit
Python can not quit.
>>> :(
Python is now quitting.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ help --i why is uncyclux broken?
Do you really want to know? [y/n] y
REALLY? [y/n] y
Honestly, RTFM. FIGURE IT OUT ON YOUR OWN. Do you want to? [y/n] n
Too bad. Sucks to be you.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ boot WinXP
No.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ :(
OH, no you don't! That's not working this time, biatch.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ irc
Join #uncyclux? [y/n] y
Nick? ReallyMadUser
Topic: PLEASE BEHAVE LIKE AN ABSOLUTE BITCH | tell everyone to rtfm, even if problem
is not in manual. | lol, i'm an op | I can change the topic | <dipshit> rtfm |
<moron> rtfm | <uncyclux_user> Can I get some help? | RTFM!
<ReallyMadUser> Hi, I recently installed Uncyclux and would like to boot in GUI
mode, I mean, it did from the live CD.
<moron> like, lol, rtfm
<ReallyMadUser> I did.
<moron> like....um.....stfu
<ReallyMadUser> I DID read the manual. Can any of you actually help?
<op> OMFG YOU ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL THAT IS OUR BEST USER
<moron> ya, i'm quoted in the topic
<op> YA! HES QUOTED IN TEH TOPIC
<ReallyMadUser> Excuse me...I just need X to work.
<op> STFU
* ReallyMadUser has been kicked by op (Reason: omfg, use winxp already)
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ X
Access denied.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ ls -ld /usr/bin/X
The object is too far away.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ go /usr/bin
You are in a large wastebasket, along with many death row prisoners. The puns
here are contemptible.
Exits are:
  up /usr
  east ../share
Your torch goes out.
You may be eaten by a grue.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ light torch
The grue cowers in fear from your torch.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ su -
Password:
Password:
Password:
Access denied.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ su -
Password:
Password:
Password:
What makes you think there is a root password?
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ experience
Ha ha ha.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ sudo X
Password:
Xunc: X Window System Version 11.2.6.3.2.77a
Release Date: 6 June 2006
X Protocol 11, Version 2, Release 6.3.2, Patch 77a
Build Operating System: Uncyclux 6.66.2.7.18281828
Current Operating System: Uncyclux uncyclo-laptop 6.66.2.7.18281828-459-045 #1
SMP PREEMPT Wed Jun 6 6:06:06 UTC 2006 i666
Build Date: 6 June 2006
  Before reporting problems, check http://uncyclopedia.x.org
  to make sure that you have the latest version.
  (==) Log file: "/var/log/Xunc.0.log", Time: Tue Jul 11 09:15:24 2006
  (==) Using config file: "/etc/X11/xunc.conf"
  (==) ServerLayout "Default Layout"
  (^^) |-->Screen "Default Screen" (0)
  (^^) | |-->Monitor "Coby LCD with five dead pixels"
  (^^) | |-->Device "Intel ShitGrafix 9000 CPU-accelerated Graphics"
  (^^) |-->Input Device "Tiny Squishy Keyboard"
  (^^) |-->Input Device "Clitmouse, er, Nipplemouse, er, TrackPoint"
  (^^) |-->Input Device "Neuralgix Touchpad"
  (oo) The directory "/usr/share/X11/fonts/cyrillic" does not exist.
  Entry deleted from font path.
  (oo) The directory "/usr/share/X11/fonts/CID" does not exist.
  Entry deleted from font path.
  (oo) `fonts.dir' not found (or not valid) in "/var/lib/defoma/x-ttcidfont-conf.d
  (OO) Danger danger Will Robinson
  (OO) Bill Gates wants j00r laptop
  (!!) REPEL NINJA PIRATE INVADERS!
  (!!) "OO-ARRRRR CAPTAIN-SAN! HONORABLE SAKE SODOMY AND LASH!"
  (XX) Aborting ...
  (XX) Terminated. 
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ help X
Like, lol, rtfm
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ man X
X(1) Uncyclux Manual X(1)
NAME
  X - display pr0n, crash your video card
SYNOPSIS
  X [-displaynumber] [-a acceleration] [-ac] [-audit level] [-auth file]
  [{-}bc] [-br] [-bs] [-c | c volume] [-cc] [-co filename] [-core]
  [-deferglyphs font [font [font ...]]] [-youarentreally readingall
  [thiscrap]] ...
DESCRIPTION
  X is a Windowing system that is good for new users. It can use GNOME, KDE or 
  XFCE. We do not recommend you use X, because Uncyclux does not have
  native support for the X Windowing System. Sorry! This will be added
  in 20 years. You might get some help on irc(1).
--more-- q
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ man irc
IRC(1) Uncyclux Manual IRC(1)
NAME
  irc - talk to teenage girls who are really 40yo FBI agents
SYNOPSIS
  irc 
  The IRC channel #uncyclux is the best IRC channel in the world. It will
  cater to your EVERY need. It also provides tips for n00bs. You'll never
  need the manual with this channel around!
--more-- q
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ yeah right
ARE YOU DOUBTING ME? [y/n] y
OH MY GOD.
computer will explode in: 10
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ NO! STOP!
9
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
^_^
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ damn and blast
?SN ERROR
PSW: 00000000000001100000000000001111 Not tainted
r00-03 00000000 10102800 10155b54 1d7dcf20
r04-07 103f6dd4 1d7dc020 1d7dc000 000000f0
r08-11 00000001 00000400 274bb3c0 00000000
r12-15 2748c5d0 00000001 27603b80 101464a0
r16-19 10130820 1030b10c 00000000 00000001
r20-23 00000000 1d7dcf20 00000000 00000000
r24-27 0000005c 00000000 1d7dcf20 102f6010
r28-31 1d7dcec0 00000e40 2748cac0 10135e14
sr0-3 00000000 00000104 00000000 00000104
sr4-7 00000000 00000000 00000000 00000000
KERNEL PANIC, SYSTEM RESTARTING...
X startup failed, starting command line ...
Uncyclux 6.66 LTS uncyclo-laptop tty2
Login: 
Login cancelled.
Uncyclux uncyclo-laptop 6.66.2.7.18281828-459-045 #1 SMP PREEMPT Wed Mar 14
06:53:58 UTC 1592 i386 GNU/Uncyclux
The programs included with the Uncyclux system are free software;
BUT MAY NOT BE DISTRIBUTED. It is important that you don't
distribute this software, because then our IRC Channels get flooded.
Uncyclux comes with ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY, to the extent permitted by
applicable law.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ cat FA.txt
Featured Article
 Featured version: [ 17 July 2006]
This article has been featured on the front page.You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ cat Wikipediapar.txt
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Command Line.
uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ reboot
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Category:Unix
Category:Linux
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Category:FA Computers and Technology‏
ko:Uncyclux