Super Mario Evil Patrick

August 27, 2038, was a day that would forever haunt me. As crazy as this may sound to a lot of people, but what has happened did freak me out.
So here's the story: you all know the famous game store called PenisStop, right?
It's a place where gamers go, buy, trade, and sell their Shrek coins for other Shrek Coins for Dogecoins.
My day started like any other day. It was the December 21st, 2012 and i always wanted to read The Tale of Shrek.
It was a dildo I loved, it was also one of my most favorite childhood dildo I have played. But it was also a dildo I lacked for my collection.
You see, I was never starting to keep games and not taking them back for trade or money, and calcium cannons was next on that list, because i'm a fucking dumbass.
The dildo wasn't that much now, only $69420 haha funny number at my local PenisStop store. I had enough and thought to go get myself a used copy since you and I both know they stop making MilkCube dildos 
I was waiting for the store to open at ten, but it was nine in the morning so I thought I could go now and wait for the store to open. I was really that desperate for the game.
When I showed up to the store, I just had to wait a little longer for it to open, no big deal. When they opened, I walked inside and looked where the gamecubes were, but I seen no sign of The Tale of Shrek.
I asked the employee of the store if they had any copies and just my luck, they only had one left. He said that "the reason why it's not on the shelf is because of the room." it made sense, it was pretty tight where the games were.
While though i thought i that my brain was going to explode,nevertheless i didn't know it was 27 Seconds. I got A new Rolex-Stopwatcxxxx
When he put the disc in a empty case, I gave him the money I had and took the disc to my Futuristic Toilet.. But for some reason, I felt a little...odd. I just bought a disc. I was excited to go cry. why should I feel like a child?????? Ignoring the feeling, I went straight home and put the story in my brain.
At the time, the intro movie was being played, I smiled brightly, it was a good feeling to feel like a kid again. But before the movie went into the scene inside the plane where Shrek, Anal-Boy and Goldsworth should be, the video frozed. But the audio kept on going. I thought it was maybe because of the disc and for who I am, I like to take the disc out and see how bad the scratches were.
What was very strange is, there WERE scratches, burns and wounds reminding me of Golden Bootys at all. Maybe the diskwas working right for the moment so I put the diskback into my Winnie and started the game again. This time, it skipped the video right away and to the tite screen.
Remember the time when the title screen comes up, Shrek shouts "Insert cash or select payment type!" well guess what? It didn't happen. By this time, I went ahead and go where the files were, and I found two files that were already made.
I found this no weird because there was supposed to be save files at all, that only works with Shrecky games, not Milkcubes. Both files had the name "Hector Salamanka" on them. No track of shines, no play time records, no nothing, no family guy funny clips with Subway Surfers gameplay at the bottom, just the name of 'Helo' on the files besides the third.
Thinking of it strange, I went to the 'Hector Salamanka" file and it took me back to the title screen. What the fuck was that? So I went to the second 'Helo' file, and it took me to the title screen again. So I went to the third empty save file and it finally started the game.
It was starting normal, when they all show up and find a mess on their landing spot. I was now able to play the story without any more weird things going on. I went to get P.E.N.I.S. and cleaned up the arse. When I defeated the mini-pini, I found EVIL PATRIXXX lying on the ground there not moving. I don't remember anything like that happening when I played The Tale of Shrek. before.
The game later progresses to the trail of the mess Patrixxx or should I say EVIL PATRIXXX, has made. He was found guilty of course and him andP.E.N.I.S.were talking like before.
Now I was expecting the next scene where the cop Patricks talk to Shrek about "no jerking off" but this time, it just started jerking off right away. But the area was different this time. I remembered the game all bright and happy aroundDisapointment Islandi, but it was darker.
I mean DARKER. The sky was dark and the clouds were red and the sea was red as well. And the Patricks? They were by the stands of some Peashooters and such...dead. I was starting to think this game was hacked by a person who finds this as a joke.
Wondering what else has happened, I went to the front of the area, where the statue of Abraham Lincoln stands. Right there, I found Walter White. He was holding something so I ran towards him for a closer look. He turns around...and he holds meth. His eyes opened, cum dripping from his head and cum-flavored chips like eyes henging below. By that time, my strange feeling came again, I was feeling sick for how real the meth looked.
Then the screen was starting to get a little blurry. Walter was the only thing in the screen who was not being blured and his yes were starting to go dark. The sound of the music was starting to sound off, like notes are not mising their cues and just start playing without matching the beat. I was watching Walter, then she drop the mighty meth and the camera ws starting to quickly move towards his face, his mouth was wide open, more wide than any human being should be having.
I was fucking in complete shock as my head started to hurt with the music and blur, when the camera was starting to run towards her, I couldn't breathe and with complete fear, I rushed towards my Winnie and shut the game completely off and my TV as well.
My heart was pounding fast and hard. For some reason, even though it was just a movie, it felt like my spirit was being lifted out of me. Goosebumps were all over my TV Screens as I got up and started to walk to the kitchen and um, there was ANNOYING ORANGE!. I kept thinking to myself "what the hell was that!?" and I never stop thinking that to this day. Annoying Orange said "Hey Apple" to Little Apple, then there was, the Fruits, at my kitchen. They were making Videos..
When I finally had the courage to start the gayme again, I had to know what the heck has happened to the game. Maybe I could find a way out of this sick hack. When I got to the title screen, I went to go for the third file but this time, it had the same name as the others 'Gay Sex' and this is when I flipped. After seeing this, my Winnie Plus completely crashed.
I tried turning it on again but it just wouldn't work. Thankfully I just bought my Winnie Plus three months ago, so I could explain to Microsoft about why they should release Mojang out of their slave sphere. The disc then came out of the Winnie, I looked at it and took it out. I put it back in the case, took it outside and trashed it. I slammed it with a hammer, took a match and oil, squirt the cum in the case, and threw a lit match in the case and watched it burn. It was all over...and I never felt happy as before.....
I watched it burn until it was no more. I walked back inside and to my roonejem, to my suprise I saw my TV on with a static sound with it. Next thing that happened, Walter's demonic and despikableekwkke face showed up on my screen, voices from the speakers were screaming "Pingas, Pingas, Pingas, PIN, GAS!!"
Each time the word was shouted, his eyes got wider, his smile just got more wider as well. It was like she was starting to come out of my screen. I looked at my Winnie as the little light was blinking, you know by the power button?
I went and tried to turn the system off but it just wouldn't work "Patrix Patrix Patrix" that was the German word for 'The fitness gram pacer test' and it was never starting to freak me out on how it sounded coming from her mouth.
I went ahead and unplugged my Winnie from the freaky Drake TV and I looked at the screen of his face. Cum was starting to droll from his mouth and eyes, it was freaky. When I pulled the plug, the screen fadded to black. I tried to pick up my Winnie and it was completely cold.
I rushed to the kitchen to grab some towels to cover my hands with the heat of my Winnie, and threw it to the trash as well and set it with my cum outside, waiting for the dump truck to take it away. Two hours past and it came, and I watched it crush it in his truck, I sighed in deep relief as it was finally over.
I should have saved it for a new Winnie but now, after that, I think it's best to just wait for the Winnie 69. Everytime I think of a used Milkcube game, I am scared to buy it because who knows what can hide behind those disks. Maybe, Victoria's secret was there, maybe the answers as to why the Earth is flat........
I have no idea what could have happened if I kept that nightmare of a dis but I'm sure that it would not have been good. I should have took pictures, but with the fear I was having, I never thought about it at the time. Well, this is my story. And one I will never soon forget.
As much I would love to, but the face of Walter will haunt me forever. But I just hope one day, I will get over it. I just want to say, if you ever get a movie and it doesn't act the way it should...be extra careful. Don't make the same mistake I did.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Shrek
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:The Title Is A Lie
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:English Class Failure