nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
M9

The Beretta M9 is the absolute worst gun ever made in the history of mankind, next to Guns and Roses. It was designed by an Italian, for crying out loud. Ever since the United States decided that vaginas could also join the military, they've had to switch from the .45 to this hunk of shit peashooter.
Weighing in at only 2.1 lbs and having a 4.9 inch barrel, slightly larger than that of Hillary Clinton's dick, and costing less than $14 a bushel (cheaper than toy guns), it isn't surprising the military spent its money on it (after all they don't want to waste tax-payer money on things like "adequate" armor and weapons for soldiers). Surprisingly, since this event, the United States has increasingly gotten into more wars, and has spent more money on expensive cars, women, and clothing to compensate.
==History==
The M9 was originally invented on accident, when the kid from Home Alone was tempted to kill some burglars in the 8th movie. It was made of a rubber band, two airsoft guns, and the remains of RoboCop's penis, McGuyver for Idiots was implemented when it was created.
Before the M9, the US Army used to be called the US Marine Corps, and boy, were they manly.
Of course, they used the manliest weapon of the time, the Colt 45. Nation States would quiver in the footsteps of the U.S of A. Children were warned to do their homework or the wrath of Uncle Sam would come down on them. The saying, 'I'll set the US on you' was so alarming and offensive, that several school students where permanently expelled for uttering it. 
Then one day, this all changed.
The Democrats were voted in. Suddenly, it was no longer 'Squash the stupid French': it was 'Now, we really must not annoy the French.' The USMC, now the USA (Huh? How the fuck does that work?) needed a service pistol, and chose the 9mm, possibly the most underpowered pistol cartridge in the world. 
Ever.
==Effectiveness==
 
The US kicked ass in the First Gulf war. That's because the men of the Marine Corps where using the Colt 45. Now, innocent Iraqis are being killed unnecessarily, because that pissy, girly excuse for a wet handkerchief called the Army is using the M9. 
The M9 has an effective range of ten meters, assuming a prone position, a well rested expert marksman and stationary targets.
==Popular Culture==
In Hollywood, the M9 has a fearful reputation amongst amongst actors. We can examine this in detail below:
Viggo Mortensen
Keanu Reeves
Refused an M9 in the submarine movie Crimson Tide
Used an M9 in the Matrix
Became a ridiculous metrosexual emo punk
Became one of the richest men alive
Married Jimbo Wales
Married Oscar Wilde
Has oranges thrown at him when he appears in public
At last count, there where 798098.21343 babies named after him.
Died poor and lonely
Will never die.
As one can clearly see, M9 are like Oscars: take one when it's offered to you, or you'll have bad sex for the next 3.2 years.
==Notes==
MATLAB

MATLAB (matrix laboratory, not to be confused with MATLAV) is an esoteric interactive random number generator written in Brainfuck designed to make random number generation more complex, frustrating and noble task. The random numbers can be generated in inifite number of ways and displayed in any number of dimensions making MATLAB omnipotent software in which all modern software including Web 2.0 is created.
== History ==
The first version of the MATLAB code was found by Charlie Chaplin during World War II in the jungles of Texas. As it was designed for Brainfuck interpret with infinite size and number of cells, scientists believe it was created either by God in Godsfuck, God's interpret of Brainfuck and was used to make universe funny place or by Chuck Norris who can interpret any code in his head.
In the late 20th century it was successfully ported by Linus Torvalds who sold the code to Gazprom.
== Awesomeness ==
Not only is MATLAB omnipotent, it is totally awesome too! Something used by everyone is always awesome! MATLAB language is Ballmer-complete and supports both imperative and declarative programming paradigms making procedural, functional, logic and tacit programming possible. That's why MATLAB is loved by everyone expect Lucifer who says it should be used to do other things than generating random numbers which is obviously total bullshit.
== World domination ==
MATLAB was successfully deployed as a kernel of famous Micro$oft Window$ fridge firmware family starting from ME release as well as popular Web 2.0 services like Faecesbook or YouLube taking the not-so-secret Gazprom world domination plans one step furher.
== Downfall and Subsequent Death ==
On December 14, 2009, while on a ski vacation with family in the Slovenian Alps, MATLAB suffered a massive hemorrhage following a fall that occurred immediately after pulling the gnarliest triple-axle backwards Sasquatch fart. Previous to MATLAB's nearly successful performance of the impressive vertical leap, the only man/woman/child to have ever performed such a stunt was Tony Blair, who, in addition to his diplomatic policies, was known to be one of the greatest skiers in modern politics. Doctors were able to restore function to MATLAB's binary read-write devices, but it would remain unresponsive for the rest of it's life.
In the evening of August 22, 2010, MATLAB died peacefully in its home (a restored IBM Aptiva ca. 1996). A service was held the next day, with a eulogy read in .m format by Adobe Acrobat. MATLAB is interred at Google. The headstone of MATLAB reads:
%Here Lies MATLAB
date_of_birth = 1979ish
date_of_death = August 22, 2010
EDU>>(1979 - August 22, 2010)
??? Undefined function or variable '(1979 - August 22, 2010)'.
Category:Computers
Category:Technology
zh-tw:MATLAB
MATLAV

MATLAV, or Matrix Lavatories, is an advanced programming language that helps people go to the bathroom.
==The Language==
To make people under 5 pee in their pants but to make older people poop in the White House:
 // peethon is used in place of matlav to achieve more efficient peeing
 import pee; //Let people pee
 import poo; //Let people poop
 import accident; //Let people have an accident
 import world; //Use package to select objects on the Earth
 import people; //Select people
 people=world.search(all);
 for people in people {
 age=people.age;
 if age<5 {
 person.peeInThePants();
 person.drinkPee();
 } else {
 person.poopInTheWhiteHouse();
 person.eatPoop();
 }
 }
This is REALLY dangerous:
 import pee; //Let people pee
 import poo; //Let people poop
 import accident; //Let people have an accident
 import world; //Use package to select objects on the Earth
 import people; //Select people
 import time; //Control timing
 import random; //Choose random items
 //Select all people in the world
 people=world.search(all);
 for people in people {
 set x=0;
 while x==0 {
 set mylist=['peeing','pooing']
 action=random.choice(mylist)
 if action=='peeing' {
 person.accident.peeInThePants();
 console.log('Congrats! You PEED!')
 } else {
 person.accident.poop();
 console.log('Congrats! You POOPED!')
 }
 }
 }
==Software==
*MatLav IDE compiles your code ONLY IF your computer is running Windows 10. It will go to the restroom every 5 minutes and leave the application frozen for 10 minutes when it pees and 20 minutes when it poos.
*MatLav Framework includes a command-line interpreter.
*An example of MatLav Framework:
 MatLav Frameworks
 Version 12343.12387
 Copyright (C) Who Knows
 >>> import pee
 Operation took 100ms
 >>> pee()
 Okay, I'm peeing.
 _____________________
 | | ███
 | | __███__
 | | \█████/
 | | \███/
 | |____\█/______
 | /
 | /
 | /
 | /
 |______________________________/
 Time elapsed: 10:00
 ^^|^^
 Min|Sec
 >>> exit
 Cannot exit.
 >>> WHAT!?
 File <WhoKnowsWhatThisIs.exe>, line 1
 WHAT!?
 ^<nowiki>~~~~~</nowiki>
 No command was found for 'WHAT!?'.
*Desktop Shortcut Creator creates MatLav IDE shortcuts on your desktop so it's all full of icons.
==Real-world Uses==
*To potty-train dogs.
And that's it.
==Installation==
1. Download a 600 MB iso from the website.
2. Burn it.
3. Go into your BIOS and set the boot order to boot from CD.
4. Press the Any Key to boot from CD.
5. 
6.
7.
8.
Category:Programming languages
MC Hammer

HTTP Error 403: Can't touch this! 
The page you are looking for is currently unavailable, (but this is). The Web site might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to STOP! Hammertime.
If School Is Out, You should try reloading this page.
Contact your local network administrator if this error continues to occur.
Ensure you let 'em know that you're too much
(Don't go clickin' at the top, because we're 2 Legit 2 Quit.)
Page Not Accessible - Can't touch this error
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohxplorer
This page is approved by the Department for the Preservation of the 1990s.
Hammer Time extension for Firefox
Category:American musicians
Category:Hip hop musicians 
Category:Rappers 
Category:Gangsta Rappers
Category:Musicians Who Suck So Monumentally...
Category:Kings of Iceland
Category:Error Category:404 
Category:Articles about a person written in the style of that person
Category:Mink Game
Category:McSomething
Category:1980s
Category:1990s
Category:FA USA
Category:FA People ‏
Category:FA Musicians
‏Category:MC Hammer
MC Hammer/Lyrics

Forbidden!
(I told you homeboy, you can't touch this!)
Refresh your page and hope
You got it like that, now you know you wanna post
So move around your hand
And make it on the back arrow land
Cold on a mission, so go back
Let 'ya know that we're too much
And this is a page uh you can't touch
Stop! Hammertime.
Every time you see this page
MC Hammer just ain't free
I'm dope on the server and magic on http
Now why would I ever stop doing this?
With others making pages that just don't hit
I'm served around the world, from London to eBay
It's "Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer"
And the rest can go and play
You can't touch this
You can't touch this
You can't touch this
You can't touch this 
--MC Spammer
Category:ErrorCategory:Lyrics
MD5

__NOTOC__
:cc4dddbe2bbcc0765559bec3c11f9665 ad0cab8ba1d4c9f9b436ed3032efe4e1.
left|320px|8487fa5b5689e696fae0a8c76ef48c3e 53d2112076e1be7213cc536b5b17342f e41a51a59273704b92d38bc784593ce1 8cbf76c91aabdd6630e16926b18a4304 683683f7266ad393023515fe295cbb9d [ 324eb0d975e35c4423ab7e5a56b723c4] f558de63a2e43abf7b5c5f2833249ab9 e41a51a59273704b92d38bc784593ce1 40a5ad7ee4f55760ea6fd79724593f9d ab309313142df64b0c8a000f1c11a12e.
Category:Psychology Category:Mental Illness Category:Bat Fuck Insane
 
9d47463f76214bffea82fcb874a3e4b3 f85c87b58c07ac80f98031033ca0311c 7d0db380a5b95a8ba1da0bca241abda1 9c677286866aad38f8e9b660f5411814 15211b27e1f575657d9cc2142e4699f5 7f138a09169b250e9dcb378140907378.
<noinclude>
"9ece46c5f74a0b1bc3aa29fcedfb7e9d"
:~ 221c77182dcf30a5b111843244922ae5 ed2b5c0139cec8ad2873829dc1117d50 b65bc1b073ed242d5aa09d3bbb48f528
"9e263c0d8c93bb38d67c01b388147402"
:~ 6156cfcc9f3ce094d9d78949c9c50244 b65bc1b073ed242d5aa09d3bbb48f528 
2db2ecdad1b934ca6cbf3178645cc830 4d4f10ec50d44afcfef37f62687a0a12 
a20a56c8daeb8e52452ed0002de17395
dee18470b69bd89732cfa52699b47859, 1fdcdb6894e7b67942c76165a06d252c 32f798b77360c7ac78a4a626eb17558d 1dd6473a75df4ac65f0911dbafee927f 639bae9ac6b3e1a84cebb7b403297b79 dae600ba51d28b41870c86272b7aa989 707ef37069c0f513307cc9399e8365e4 6b4a3f651d5d9d58fe6931243d52231d.
df436acea657d24240aa704016f420ff 53bf72cf2f4df639fdb61ccdec52d219 d41d8cd98f00b204e9800998ecf8427e, 0b0a61bfd80e28ba76dcd22486c97b48 ea7d75e28406786da7bb517bf72481b8 2fec392304a5c23ac138da22847f9b7c 55d73a21505812fcb8b20a05569d4248 8f986d2c9568fcd4849bc6e228ae0d96 4c34f8da4d455ab8d98dec8c566412e1 9e96e5d41aee2ff34dc6e8f7328d9d01 2c5633ac5d978dbf9b20dce64a9bd332 7f6774d8e349b3d9ff3f2a462a48223a
==969e9077e235f091fdb09b791dcb6f21==
e5e61bb431d83edcad72dd168a176773 443e11e6bdb159572ac25da2f8e767d8 2c34788af99f9ca074434e362d584d54 d970019ea54182a6259b47409af28de2. 9c0b169c49499dcc52114dc87eb73a34 7134369bc824ab97c2570f32c8b1ef2d. 2f79766ada18aa04625e5bfda9261e64 6aae0a64ca6af61af8cf268887277201 3ccfef28312458f4df0d9c438a1333b2 dc5d6e5c0ffd6d1cd249286ced098382 d62624d463723caf18f4f57370b4ad2d 09f911029d74e35bd84156c5635688c0
==611114a3a55940e855fb96b973f897fc==
*dee18470b69bd89732cfa52699b47859
*64ef07ce3e4b420c334227eecb3b3f4c
*dc647eb65e6711e155375218212b3964
Category:Self-reference Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
fi:MD5
MD5/readable

left|320px|LOOK OUT! This article is complete, irredeemable madness. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane , and froths at the mouth. If you attempt to [ edit this] , you will most likely become Bat Fuck Insane yourself. Or the submitter will eat your liver.
Category:Psychology Category:Mental Illness Category:Bat Fuck Insane
 
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called-experts at Wikipedia have an article about Wikipedia:MD5.
<noinclude>
"MD5? Not much of a challenge"
:~ Sherlock Holmes on MD5
"No shit, Sherlock!
:~ Dr. Watson on the above statement.
MD5 is an algorithm designed to destroy data by making it unreadable by anyone, even yourself. Nowadays, however, MD5 is considered outdated and inferior to algorithms such as ROT13, for which no known decryption algorithms exist. MD5, on the other hand, is considered vulnerable because all those websites you use to actually get all these MD5 codes store them and can show the original phrases to anyone. An example is this website.
MD5 codes are easy to identify. When you see something like this:Nihilism, it usually stands for something. It is even rumored that supposedly "random" session IDs that PHP generates are in fact Satanic messages. This has been famously used by St. Ignucius as an argument against MD5, although the alternative he proposed, MD6, turned out to be even more controversial because of the number in its name. 
==Other applications of MD5==
Many. Basically, MD5 is used whenever someone wants some hexadecimal gibberish. This is the context in which it was famously used by Eon8. Sometimes, system administrators use MD5 to generate real-looking databases with "secret" content and then give them away to hackers just to see them go nuts.
IM BAT FUCK INSANE VAGINA!!!!
==See also ==
*EBG13
*64ef07ce3e4b420c334227eecb3b3f4c
*dc647eb65e6711e155375218212b3964
Category:Self-reference Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
MIDI

right|thumb|497px
MIDI is a file format that tells a computer how to make something vaguely resembling music. It was invented by the Midianites in 1996, and was designed to annoy people on Geocities pages.
The acronym "MIDI" is an abbreviation of four Italian words. M stands for musicalle, I stands for irritazione, D stands for dove and I stands for interfaccia. It is very hard to translate this into English, for the Italian language died out in 1999. But soviet scientists have recently been studying the language in old books and pub quizzes. They have roughly translated it as: Musically irritating and where the hell is this interface?
===How does MIDI work?===
It is simple to understand. You buy a box called MIDI and connect it to an instrument of choice and a computer. This allows the computer to send information into the instrument. Music tech teachers will often lie about the real definition of this subject to keep themselves in work. Since they are working at a school it shows you that the music industry won't let them in, so they will do anything to reduce the numbers wanting into the industry. Don't believe a word they say!
===Why do we need this device?===
Well, I already explained it is so we can receive information from a computer into our instruments. But to go into more detail. Have you ever wondered how say: Jimi Hendrix, Steve Howe, Rick Wakeman and Dream Theater can play their instruments so well? It is because of MIDI. They simply ask the computer to create a brilliant tune to be played on whatever instrument they wish and the MIDI box sends this information into, for example, the guitar, and the guitar plays itself. Of course the musician has to pretend to be playing. Usually nobody notices, so once again the music industry survives. 
Also this is how the band "The Pretenders" came up with their name...
==Trivia==
*The Bible tells us that the Midianites were put to death for inventing MIDI: "And Jobriath said, o Lord, let them that hath brought forth this accursed file format upon our sacred internet, be cut apart, have the Holy Hand Grenade tossed unto them, and stoned with stones until they are dead."
*All Dragonforce albums actually consist of MIDI files, not MP3s or other recorded file formats. If you think you hear singing in any of their songs, you are just imagining it and should see a shrink immediately.
*Fall Out Boy does not know how to use MIDI, which is why their music consists of only three power chords.
==External links==
*Quiz: can you tell MIDI from a renowned virtuozo?
Category:Electronics
Category:Music technology
MMORPG

Cards on the table, I've absolutely no fucking idea what a MMORPG is. My best guess is it's some kind of acronym, but other than that I'm pretty stumped. When I say MMORPG, I'm a man telling his dentist to "STOP THE PAIN". Or a "woman" talking to "her" dentist of course; women have dentists now apparently. I guess that's because they have teeth. It's difficult to keep up sometimes. 
== My Mother ==
She knows most things but has told me she has never heard of MMORPG. She's off for one of her "sleeps" now, anyway. 
== My Dad ==
He's in the garage with Jackie from next door at the moment, working on their project - but I'll ask him later. 
== Brother Ben ==
Ben says it's something to do with AIDS and that we'll all catch AIDS if we don't wear condoms. Personally, they make the whole sex act last far too long though. I've missed dinner before doing this shit. I don't want this funky act diminished to a cardio-vascular endeavour. I'm not Sting. 
== I'm pretty sure it's something to do with a cat ==
It just sounds cattish...you know...MMMMMORPG. Might be one of those grumpy Chinese looking cats that ignore you unless you've got food served Gordon fucking Ramsey. And no I'm not be raciest, some of my best friends are Chinese cats. 
Or archery. "You'll have someone's eye out with that MMORPG."
== Nothing to do with a cat ==
It's nothing to do with a cat. Wikipedia says it's a "Massively multiplayer online role-playing game". It's a bad acronym and an unsatisfactory piece of English. 
== What Wikipedia says about MMORPGs ==
On the 13th September 2012, a user called Royin345 edited the article to indicate that MMORPG stood for "Mostly Men Online Role Playing Girls". Royin345 is making a joke here as we now know that it stands for "Massively multiplayer online role-playing game". I think the joke is a reference to when you think you're talking to a girl person on the internet you're normally talking to a boy person. This is why you should leave your penis covered when using the internet system. Anyway, an IP user obviously thought that people may get confused and reverted the change leaving the comment (undo vandalism) in the edit summary. 
I've left a comment on Royin345's talk page explaining to him that he should be treating Wikipedia more seriously and that we're all in this together man.
== You're an elf ==
So basically with a MMORPG you pretend you're an elf on the computer and lots of other people on other computers also pretend they're elves. You walk around virtual fields talking to elves. If I was playing, I would tell each elf I encountered that I knew they weren't really an elf.
 
Category:Video games
da:MMORPG
de:MMORPG
el:MMORPG
es:MMORPG
fr:MMORPG
ja:MMORPG
pl:MMORPG
pt:MMORPG
ru:MMORPG
MORE KITTENS!

Oh god! You're playing those scary games and having horror film marathons again? And I suppose you're going to have horrifying nightmares for the next three months straight? Put Amnesia down, never click on the Slender game icon again. Stop watching Saw, stop watching Friday the 13th, stop watching Silence of the Lambs, stop watching Scream, stop watching Child's Play, stop watching Paranormal Activity, stop watching Psycho, and for god's sake what the hell this 2 Girls 1 Cup sorcery? You sicken me.
== What is this evil presence? ==
What? You mean there is actually an evil demon within your own home? How many times have you seen this paranormal being? More than once? Twice? Even more? About 450 times?! WOWZA, THAT'S ALOT! Jesus, kid... is this ghost even friendly? Does it want to cause harm? Will it touch you at night? Do you have any idea of the ghost's intentions? Have you considered it might rape you? Golly gee! That'd be downright weird! WHAT?! You're already getting sucked off by paranormal spirits every night before bed on a daily basis? That one's gotta be somewhere on the List of Sins! YOU PLAYED VIDEO GAMES WITH THIS GHOST?! Wowza is this weird!
Wait... what? I pissed off the ghost? No, I don't feel anything touching me... wait... you kno-WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SORCERY?!!! I'M GETTIN' THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
MOAR KITTENS! MOAR KITTENS! MOAR KITTENS! GOOGLE SEARCH TAKE ME AWAY!
 
Much better.
== Why is this guy following you? ==
So, let's get this straight. I just make my way through this dark forest looking for eight pieces of paper and nothing bad will happen? The graphics are scary and that piano pianist is psychotic! So weird... Okay. Sounds really, really fun...
What is this sorcery?! OH GOD! GIMME THE INTERNET! OKEE DOKEEE! GOOGLE!! NOW SEARCH!
 
Much better.
== So what is this movie about? A hockey player? ==
Why are you always watching movies? Why don't you ever go outside and play? You're never too old to play! Just make sure you bring all your juice boxes to keep yourself hydrated! What? You want me to fuck off? What is that? Is that like having me leave you alone? Yes? Um, I will fuck off. I just wanted to know what movie you were watching. Friday the 13th? Is that like a comedy about bad luck? I wanna see it! Hmm... this isn't about bad luck. This is like a hockey movie. I like hockey. I also like movies. Wait, since when did hockey consist of machetes being a piece of equipment? So, I suppose the guy who plays hockey is going to... OH GOD! WHY?! WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?! DAMMIT! GIMME YOUR COMPUTER FOR A SECOND! THANK YOU! OKAY... GOOGLE.COM! OKAY, NOW IMAGES...
100px
Much better.
== What is this fruit dance? ==
Hmmm... Lemon Party. I like lemons. I also am a fan of parties! Yes, yes... WHAT IS THIS?! OH MY GOD!!! Google Images take me AWAY!
100px 
Much better.
== Lesson Learned ==
Kittens are the best technique of calming down after scary moments!
== See also ==
*Kitten huffing
*CATS
*Cat
*Kitler
Category:Kittens
Category:Cute and cuddly
Category:Cute
Category:Horror