The Seven Hitchhikers

CHAPTER 1 - EXPOSITION
So, I was driving along the road like I always do, then I see these 7 guys, they look like they're posing for a photo. But nobody was taking a picture of them! So I did, and I put that up. After I took the picture, the guy in the back came up to my window.
"My name is Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv, and these are my friends Ghost, Mickey, Smiley, Sqeedwhore, Beneton and Zilos. We need a ride just a few miles down the road. Can you do that?" he asked.
CHAPTER 2 - THE TRIP
My car only seated 2 people, but the 7 of them looked like pretty nice people and I was a nice person so I said OK anyways. The 7 of them cheered and high fived and got into my car somehow. The one he called Zilos, who was standing in the middle during the photo, sat in the seat, and the other 6 climed around in the back and all fit in. However, as we started driving, they kept talking about really weird things like prostate exams, things that I shouldn't have done and something about yaks, so I got fed up with it.
CHAPTER 3 - DESTINY
"OKAY, THATS IT!" I yelled. I stopped the car, got out, picked up a bench, threw it at the car, and walked about 2 miles to the nearest hardware store. I bought a bunch of supplies and spent 2 days making a custom build hand rifle with one bullet to kill all 7 of them. However, when I came back, I learned that they had stolen my car! Those bastards!
CHAPTER 4 - ACTION TRIP
I then saw my car whiz by. I quickly hijacked the next car I saw and sped after them. I took aim with my gun and shot the exhaust pipe, creating a massive explosion. However, 6 of them scurried off after the blast. I ran up to my car and saw Zilos.
CHAPTER 5 - GHOST OF MY FRIEND
"Man....Why you fuckin do that man...." he murmered. 
I screamed. The other 6 were now standing before me.
Mereana walked up to me.
"You are litterally a bastard, as you have killed our friend. Because of this, you will be visited by 3 of my friends." he said. He then took out a kinfe. I got scared, but he killed himself instead. I fainted from shock.
CHAPTER 6 - GHOST OF THE PAST
I woke up in my bed. Ghost was floating above me.
"Wake up, fatass," he said.
"I'm up," I replied.
"Well, its time to go back in the past," he replied.
Suddenly, I noticed I was at the place of my birth. Ghost suddenly commited hara-kiri. 
"NO! What did..."
I was cut off when I saw the nurse that delivered me was actually Smiley. His head then exploaded, making a mark on me as a baby, on my forehead. I looked, and there it was, suddenly. I fainted again.
CHAPTER 7 - GHOST OF THE PRESENT
I woke up with Squeedwhore looming over me. He slapped me in the face, and then picked me up.
"Maaan, we are gonna see some stuff in the present now," he said. I nodded in agreement.
He showed me Mickey, walking down a street.
"Look at this guy, mannnn. He's gonna make alot of people commit suicide. Like me."
Squeedwhore smashed his face into a meat grinder. Mickey's head exploded. I screamed and fainted.
CHAPTER 8 - GHOST OF THE FUTURE
Beneton was the only one left alive.
I woke up and he was there, but without a normal body. He was just a statue.
He lead me over to a grave, and on it were his 6 friends, and my name.
"What does this mean? How near in the future is this?"
Suddenly Beneton pulled out a sword and sliced his head off. I waited to faint, but didn't. What was going on?
CHAPTER 9 - DESTINY II
Suddenly, I saw Zilos ahead in the fog.
"I know what you're after", he said. "And I know where you can get it."
I nodded. I followed him.
The light was so bright, but it didn't matter, I could see perfectly where we were going. 
It was my Final Destination.
Chapter 10 - ENDER
Yes, the final destination of my life. Zilos's head exploded, but again I didn't faint. I was more than that now. I was a god.
I noticed my body color was a bit different, a bit yellow. I felt shorter. And I noticed something atop my head, it was a glowing red light.
And for some reason, all I could say now was the word....
"Shlumpy."
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