Stoner High School/Queens and Kings

=Queens and Kings of Stoner High School=
==HM Queen Tiffany I (1980-1981)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: President of the Confederation of Concerned Students
*Her Foreign Minister was The Rt. Off. Lord Ralph Sanchez PC, later HM Ralph I
*Leader of coup d'etat against Principal Dumhaas
*Proclaimed the Stoner Republic
*Established government, military, and other institutions
*Drafted constitution
*Oversaw renovation and reconstruction of campus
*Defeated the BHUSD in several battles
*Went on to attend Stanford
==HM King Ralph I (1981-1982)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Secretary of the Confederation of Concerned Students, Foreign Minister under Tiffany I\
*Field commander during the 1st Battle of Stoner High
*Captain of the SHS debate team
*Known for his merciless use of colorful language against the educational establishment
*Initiated tradition of pumping whiskey into the school's artificial river during New Year's
*Sent SHS Navy task force to aid the British in the Falklands War
*Went on to attend Harvard
*His Vice Queen was Her Imperial Excellency the Lady Kate Schpade VQ, later HM Kate I
*See here for a full list of his cabinet members
==HM Queen Kate I (1982-1983)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Vice President of the Confederation of Concerned Students, Minister of Finance under Tiffany I, Vice Queen under Ralph I
*Author of "Dudes of Stoner"
*Initiated successful petroleum exploration
*Began construction of Tiffany Steiner International Airport
*Went on to attend Caltech
*Her Minister of War was the Rt. Mil. Lady Phoebe Royce PC, later HM Phoebe I.
==HM Queen Phoebe I (1983-1984)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Minister of War under Kate I
*Started bimonthly paintball tournament
*Instituted formal student admissions system
*Deployed SHS military as "exchange students" to foreign countries
*Went on to attend Pepperdine
*Her Minister of War was Vice Field Marshal The Rt. Mil. Lady Candace York TC PC
==HM King Ralph II (1984-1985)==
*Party: Brown Keg
*Prior position: Member of the Board of Governors
*Established Road Trip Week
*Ordered the first Stoner New Year's fireworks show
*Criminalized Twinkie theft
*Went on to attend Penn State
==HM King Greg I (1985-1986)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Pwner of BEERvision TV station
*Banned all screenings of Manos, The Hands of Fate.
*Went on to attend MIT
==HM Queen Jennifer I (1986-1987)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Lady Chancellor of Greg I's Privy Council
*Commissioned construction and launch of STONERSAT-1
*Completed construction of Tiffany Steiner International Airport
*Went on to attend Dartmouth
==HM Queen Jessica I (1987-1988)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Chief Inspector of the Fashion Police under Jennifer I
*Doubled the number of extra credit points in circulation
*Codified statues regarding public nudity and established height-weight regulations
*Went on to attend UC Berkeley
*Her Vice Queen was Her Imperial Excellency Kelsey Hamilton VQ, later HM Kelsey I
*Her Minister of Finance was The Rt. Pro. Lady Tina Fey PC.
==HM Queen Kelsey I (1988-1989)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Vice Queen under Jessica I
*Began construction of school subway system
*Went on to attend Pepperdine
thumb|HM Kevin I, 4th King of Stoner High - Class of 1990.
==HM King Kevin I (1989-1990)==
*Party: Brown Coffeepot
*Prior position: Vice Minister of Agriculture
*Made the cabbage the official school vegetable
*Increased hemp and wheat production by 30% to win Brown Keg support
*Went on to attend Cornell
*His Foreign Minister was The Rt. Off. Lady Kelsey White PC, later HM Kelsey II
==HM Queen Kelsey II (1990-1991)==
*Party: Brown Coffeepot
*Prior position: Foreign Minister under Kevin I
*Went on to attend UT-Austin
thumb|HM Phoebe II, 7th Queen of Stoner High - Class of 1991.
==HM Queen Phoebe II (1991-1992)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Premier of the Board of Governors
*Completed construction of school subway system
*Sent SHS Army & Marines units to help suppress riots in Los Angeles
*Went on to attend UCLA
==HM King Ralph III (1992-1993)==
*Party: Sex
*Prior position: Reverse cowgirl under Phoebe II
*Went on to attend Indiana University
*His Minister of Beverages was the Rt. Wtd. Lord Matthew McDonaugh PC, later HM Matt I
==HM King Matt I (1993-1994)==
*Party: Brown Keg
*Prior position: Minister of Beverages under Ralph III
*Negotiated vending agreement with Anheuser-Busch
*Went on to attend Colorado State
*His Vice Queen was Her Imperial Excellency the Lady Phoebe Wilson VQ, later HM Phoebe III
==HM Queen Phoebe III (1994-1995)==
*Party: Brown Keg
*Prior position: Vice Queen under Matt I
*Initiated Twinkie rationing program
*Negotiated prosecution pact with Fockersville County Court & District Attorney
*Went on to attend Harvard
==HM King Greg II (1995-1996)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Field Marshal, SHS Imperial Army
*Pressured US colleges to lift alcohol regulations for Stoner alumni
*Initiated SHS nuclear program and construction of missile silos on Hill 420
*Commissioned construction and launch of STONERSAT-2 (rumored orbital cannon)
*Went on to attend Stanford
*His Minister of Finance was The Rt. Pro. Lady Brittany Langdon PC, later HM Brittany I
==HM Queen Brittany I (1996-1997)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Minister of Finance under Greg II
*Orchestrated takeover of New York Stock Exchange and SEC
*Cornered the global market in steel, gold and unobtainium
*Began construction of student housing.
*Went on to attend U-Michigan Ann Arbor
*Her Minister of Beverages was the Rt. Wtd. Lord Ralph Boscoe PC, later HM Ralph IV.
==HM King Ralph IV (1997-1998)==
*Party: Brown Keg
*Prior position: Minister of Beverages under Brittany I
*Doubled the number of auxiliary beer fountains on campus
*Went on to attend Penn State
==HM King Brandon I (1998-1998)==
*Party: Brown Coffeepot
*Introduced anti-ball kicking legislation
*(abdicated due to early graduation)
*His Vice King was His Imperial Excellency Lord Andrew Fletcher VK, later HM Andrew I
==HM King Andrew I (1998-1999)==
*Party: Brown Coffeepot
*Prior position: Vice King and Director of Controlled Substances under Brandon I
*Negotiated catering agreement with Hostess
*Increased Twinkie rations by 20%
*Went on to attend U-Chicago
==HM Queen Phoebe IV (1999-2000)==
*Prior position: CEO of Stoner Airlines
*Party: Blue Coalition
*She was fiiiine!
*Went on to attend Princeton
==HM Queen Tiffany II (2000-2001)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Premier of the Board of Governors
*Established SHS space program
*Went on to attend Pepperdine
==HM King Brandon II (2001-2002)==
*Party: Brown Keg
*Prior Position: Member of the Board of Governors and Chairman of the Hard Liquor Promotion Subcommittee
*Featured in numerous Budweiser ads as the "King of Beers."
*Went on to attend CU-Boulder
==HM King Matt II (2002-2003)==
*Party: Brown Coffeepot
*Prior position: Field Marshal, SHS Imperial Army
*Sent 500 SHS Army soldiers to Afghanistan
*Went on to attend West Point
*His Chief Inspector of the Fashion Police was The Rt. Fsh. Jill Malarkey PC, later HM Jillian I.
==HM Queen Jillian I (2003-2004)==
*Party: Brown Coffeepot
*Prior position: Chief Inspector of the SHS Fashion Police
*Tightened height-weight restrictions for public nudity
*Abolished tariffs on the importation of counterfeit designer goods
*Went on to attend Art Center
*Her Minister of Finance was the Rt. Pro. Lord Greg Perkins PC, later HM Greg III.
==HM King Greg III (2004-2005)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Minister of Finance under Jillian I
*Ordered the carpet bombing of several remaining BHUSD schools
*Presided over 30% economic growth
*Authorized the sale of wine in vending machines alongside beer
*Signed the Ninja Statue of 2005
*Went on to attend the Imperial Institute of Procrastinatory Science
*His Minister of Beverages was The Rt. Wtd. Lord Tyler McLaughlin PC
*His Lady Chancellor and Minister of Finance was the Rt. Pro. Lady Tiffany Kohl PC, later Tiffany III
==HM Queen Tiffany III (2005-2006)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior position: Lady Chancellor of Greg III's Privy Council
*Ordered the use of an SHS nuclear artillery battery against the Black Hand Unified School District football team, drawing a barrage of angry letters from the United Nations and complaints of unilateralism by France
*Initiated privatization of school government Twinkie monopoly
*Oversaw successful moon landing of SHS astronauts
*Used the Stoner military to defuse the Tyler Incident
*Outlawed the Orange Kitten party
*Went on to attend the Imperial Institute of Procrastinatory Science
*Her Minister of Beverages was The Rt. Wtd. Lady Jane Markowitz PC
==HM Queen Sophie I (2006-2007)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior Position: Marshal of the Imperial Air Force
*Elected following the Tyler Incident
*Outlawed the huffing of Melange Spice kittens
*Established a Stoner moon base (far out, man...)
*Sent additional SHS forces to Iraq in conjunction with the US troop surge
*Went on to attend Princeton
*Her Minister of Finance was The Rt. Pro. Lady Teresa Osborne, later HM Teresa I
*Her Minister of War was The Rt. Mil. Lady Ashley Farnborough PC, later Vice Queen and HM Ashley I
*Her Director of Controlled Substances was Sir Maximilian DeLarkey
*Her Vice Queen was Her Imperial Excellency the Lady Jane Markowitz VQ
==HM Queen Teresa I (2007-2008)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior Position: Minister of Finance under Queen Sophie I
*Negotiated the successful weed export agreement with Costco as Minister of Finance.
*Doubled the size of the contract by the end of her reign, bringing in 1.337 trillion extra credit points over the previously agreed to 666 
*Expanded the size of the SHS moon base and launched a hydroponic weed farming program.
*Her Vice Queen was Her Imperial Excellency the Lady Ashley Farnborough VQ, later HM Ashley I
*Her Minister of War was the Rt. Mil. Field Marshal Lord Leroy Jenkins PC
==HM Queen Ashley I (2008-2009)==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior Position: Vice Queen Under Queen Teresa I
*Made billions in the financial markets by short-selling subprime mortgage-backed securities.
*Her Vice Queen was Her Imperial Excellency the Lady Nicole Poppins VQ, 29th Duchess of Hazzard 
*Her Minister of Beverages was the Rt. Wtd. Lady Stella Malenkova PC, later Vice Queen
*Her Chief Inspector of the Fashion Police was the Rt. Fsh. Lord Ryan O'Neill PC, later HM Ryan I
*Her Director of Controlled Substances was Sir Josh White
*Added Cuba and the Northwest Territories to the list of Stoner's colonial possessions.
*Signed the Fabric Act of 2009
==HM King Ryan I (2009-2010)==
*Party: Brown Coffeepot
*Prior Position: Chief Inspector of the Fashion Police under HM Ashley I
*His Vice Queen was Her Imperial Excellency the Lady Stella Malenkova VQ
*His Foreign Minister was The Rt. Off. Lady Holly O'Leary PC
*New trade agreements signed with South Korea, Colombia
==HM Queen Tiffany IV (2010-2011==
*Party: Blue Coalition
*Prior Position: Minister of Foreign Affairs, Trysts & Other Liaisons under HM Ryan I
*Her Vice King was Lord Mike Duncan
*FTAs signed with most European and East Asian countries
Category:Stoner High School