Grandma's Gifts

First of all, I have noticed that I like my first trollpasta a lot more than my later ones. Some of the absurdness was lost.
Second of all, to be honest, I pretty much wrote this for the weasel part. I took an idea and stretched it into a story. This is the result.
Third of all, This is not meant to be serious.
Finally, how has the title "Grandma's Gifts" not been taken yet?
== Grandma's Gifts ==
Christmas had already passed when it occurred. In fact, it was only a few days after. I got up that morning before anyone else had awoken yet and went to the kitchen to make myself a peanut butter sandwich. I opened the cabinet to find a jar of Peter Pan peanut butter. But when I reached to get the lid, it started floating!
I could only stare as the plastic container of proteins and sugar bounced around the kitchen, sometimes almost hitting me. After a minute or two of blankly staring, I ran to my bedroom. I laid in my bed, trying to comprehend what had just seen.
A hour later, I woke up. Was I dreaming? Later experiences told me that I hadn't. I got up and went downstairs to play with some of the stuff I got on Christmas.
The first thing I noticed was a Jack-in-the-box. A grandma gift. I left it in the corner because I had video games and such. But, I remembered that Grandma had come over to visit that day and I didn't want to make her feel bad, so I grabbed it and sat down. As soon as I started cranking, the tune of "Pop goes the weasel" started playing. I kept cranking it over and over again, to no avail. I almost gave up, assuming it was broken, when I gave one last turn the other way. As soon as I did, I heard something explode outside.
Frantically, my mother and father ran outside to figure out what it was. I wanted to stay, but my curious 10-year-old mind needed to find it out too.
The scene was grim. There was red and black lumps around a spot beside our house. As my father looked at it, he realized what is was.
The charred pieces of a weasel.
I could see it now. There was a huge scorch mark in the center of the gory mess. The poor thing had exploded.
I followed my mother and father back in the house, trying to decipher my feelings of "I feel sorry for the poor thing" with "I can't WAIT to tell my friends!" when my Grandma spoke up.
"Did you like your present, child?" she said in a kind voice
"Well...the jack-in-the-box didn't work" I responded
"Oh, I think it worked quite well" she said, staring out the window.
Barely listening to what she was saying, I pulling out my other gift from her. It was a pair of sunglasses.
What an odd gift, I thought to myself.
I lifted them up over my head and slid them over my eyes, only to be immediately blinded by a wave of heat and light over my eyes. I threw the glasses off and shut my eyes, trying to recover. It took a few minutes before I opened my eyes again. I explained what had happened to my parents, who didn't believe me at first. They probably would have taken my story as me playing pretend if it weren't for the dark rings that were around my eyes.
There was one more gift from my Grandma, and at this point, I was afraid of playing with anything else from Grandma. It was a copy of the Neverending story on DVD. My mother picked up the DVD and walked towards the DVD player.
"Wait mom, don't put that in!" I said.
"Why?" She asked.
"Because bad things will happen!"
I had realized how the gifts worked. Whatever defining aspect the object had has taken literally. So if the movie is about something that never ends, then it must be bad.
"Of course. But I think daddy might want to see it." she responded.
She thought I was playing pretend.
Before I could get another word out. The disk was put in the slot, and the tray was pushed in. The screen went back, and I heard my Grandma say something I didn't think she would ever say.
"DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, BOY?"
"Where!?" I responded frantically.
"You are in my TRAP! You and your parents have neglected me throughout the year. You never call. You never visit. You just take in the gifts I send and play with them to not hurt by feelings. Well they are already hurt by you and your parents ignorance!"
My Grandma got up off of the couch, looking at me with a face full of hatred and anger. Heading towards the door with one final comment.
"Enjoy the film."
Then the screen came on, and all I could do was stare at it. I couldn't move away. I couldn't stand. I can't stand. I am stuck here, staring at this screen with the movie looping over and over again. I could recite the plot, the characters, their lines, and every possible detail of the movie that was there. I know secrets and hidden details the community has yet to discover. Please, if you find this writing, call someone or do something.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck