nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
The Tyranny of SOMEGUY123 2: The Mememan Cometh

It had been years after SOMEGUY123's reign of terror had come to an end. Global peace had been achieved, children rejoiced, a great feast was had. No one would ever again be kicked by the mad tyrant. Nobody knew where SOMEGUY had fled to. He disappeared without a trace. One day in America, two children were going to visit their grandfather. They traveled long and far to see this man and they hoped it would be worth it. A tall, pudgy Greek man opened the door and greeted them. His servant tongue swirled maliciously in his fiendish mouth. He had invited them inside. They entered the large house to see a museum.
"Papa, what're all these things on the walls?" the girl asked.
"Those are my memes, children." the Greek man replied gleefully. As they traversed through the narrow corridor they began to see there was a new exhibit. There was a sign above it which read "ebin". Below the first one was the word "penin" spray painted in red spray paint. When they entered this room there were hundreds of words scrawled on the decrepit walls. "HE PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH!" one read, "THE WEAPONS ARE ARMED AND READY" read another. At the end of the exhibit there was a large cage with a few skeletons in there.
"What is that for, Papa? Do you have a pet?" the little boy asked his grandfather. The graying man's twisted grin scared the children. He chucked to himself.
"Kek," the man said. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a key. He then threw the children into the cage, slamming the door behind them.
"It is my greatest achievement, children. My masterpiece!" he screamed with sadistic joy.
"Wait... you can't mean..." It was at that moment that the children realized that this man wasn't their grandfather at all. It was SOMEGUY! SOMEGUY laughed even more, pulling out a cattle prod from his pocket and branding the children with the words "SOMEGUY's Fresh Dank Meme Farm". He then stared into their crying eyes as he said this:
"Yes, children. You are my new memes."
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Unnecessary Sequels
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Shortpasta
The Ugly Barnacle (Extended Version)

Once upon a time, in the city of Bikini Bottom, there lived an Ugly Barnacle. The barnacle was so ugly that every single person who looked at it literally died from how ugly it was, or had a panic attack, or committed suicide afterwards. The Ugly Barnacle was then shot and killed by the Bikini Bottom police department in fear that it would frighten other innocent Bikini Bottom citizens to death as well. This terrifying tale was also told by EVIL PATRIXXX to his best friend, SpongeBob, but in a much shorter version. It was supposed to help with SpongeBob's depression, but unfortunately, it didn't help at all and SpongeBob became so depressed that he shot himself with a ping pong paddle that he got from the mail. EVIL PATRIXXX, however, obviously survived and simply laughed it off with his FRICKIN' EVIL LAUGH OF DOOM!
Also, beware of ever encountering EVIL PATRIXXX, because if you do, he will tell this absolutely fucking terrifying and gut-wrenching story to you, and then you'll most likely commit suicide by using a ping pong paddle, just like SpongeBob did to himself.
The story, however, is still widely known by numerous Bikini Bottom citizens, and causes panic and suicidal thoughts from the Bikini Bottom citizens who hear it, including many suicides caused by shooting themselves in the head with ping pong paddles.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:SpongeBob
Category:Suicide
Category:Memes
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
The Ultimate Demon Death Theory

I found out something terrible! And not only I am affected. You too, dear reader, will suffer from the effects of this monstrous abnormality. Everyone who reads this will become insane. This has nothing at all to do with this article, nooo, that would be absurd. It would be reassuring if it were just this article that will disturb you. No... beyond our layer of existence there are way worse evils which no human can express in words. But some humans are possessed by demons that task them to bring them into visual form and spread them! If you're thinking about Smile.jpg or Smile.dog, you're wrong. There are far more powerful beings than this sad copy of a dog. Any halfway-skilled media designer could create an image that causes a feeling of panic. For nothing else is caused by this pathetic attempt of a demon to cause fear and terror in our world. Despite this, it itself is completely helpless! It always has to send the message "Spread it!" so this sad being can set out. But I digress. I must tell you that one of the most powerful demons has managed to leave its plane and has entered the internet in visual form! For this it has assumed a form behind which nobody would suspect a demon. And exactly now, in this moment, you are seeing him. He has been watching you for a long time, sees everything you are doing and is present on many internet sites to kill YOU! This demon is powerful! He can spread by himself and even YOU might possibly have an image of its human body on your computer or phone. But the worst thing is that IT LIVES. And I don't mean a subconscious that allows the demon to continue to exist, NOOO! This demon is more powerful that EVERYTHING on this world! He lives, he moves in the way his body makes it possible. He rolls his eyes, he warps his mouth to an abnormal grin and continues to watch you. But I've been talking long enough, it's time to call the evil by its name! But beware, moribund comrades, it is always watching you!
IT IS THE TROLLFACE IN THE BACKGROUND OF THIS PAGE!!!
</div>
Originally written in German
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Beings
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:THERY
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck‏‎
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
The Ultimate Haunting

So after Princess Pointy Boobs dies they want us to believe The Devil is The Devil but really they're hinting at Santa Christ being The Devil but then The Devil dies and turns into a skeleton so then it's down to Santa Christ and The Cricket but then Santa Christ dies and so The Cricket has to be The Devil but really The Devil is The Devil but really The Devil is M. Night Shabalabadingdong but really Santa Christ is The Devil who comes to kill The Devil that was really M. Night Shabalabadingdong but really the security guard was a twelve year old girl and then The Cricket goes to a convention and they start playing The Bohemian Rhapsody and all the ferrets start headbanging and then it's black and then I wake up and there's an empty Sbarro's pizza box but really the empty pizza box is The Devil but really the elephant is an autistic giraffe.
Category:The Title Is A Lie
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta
The Uncalled For Return of Jack Reacheround

Few of you probably remember the tragic tale of Jack Reacher's reacharounds, which I had thought laid to rest, but recent events have forced me to return to this matter.
I had lived well these last two years, anxiously waiting to see what Amazon would make of my script/child, so I reactivated my Prime membership to take a look. No sooner had I done so than I felt a mighty hand seize my crotch.
I knew what I would see before I saw it, but nonetheless I must describe it for you. Alan Ritchson had hold of my genitals in his powerful fist, just as his father would have wanted.
"Son... I love you..." I gasped.
But something was amiss.
This was Alan Ritchson, not Jack Reacher Jr. He had failed to assume the mantle of his father. And what's more, I had come to realise that he wasn't giving me a reach around at all. The bastard was crushing my fucking balls.
"Why?" I just had time to gasp before my testicles and penis popped into red mulch in the same moment. He just smirked at me, rubbing the paste that had once been my manhood over his face like woad, and then left without looking back. I sobbed, feeling a failure as a parent.
Soon I pulled myself back together, and used Amazon customer support to complain and leave a 1 star rating for my experience. This was enough to get Bezos to address my concerns personally.
"Jeff... I trusted you with my own flesh and blood. Jack Reacher's final masterpiece..."
Bezos threw back his head and laughed, and then high fived someone off screen. When they leaned forward I saw who it was, and my jaw hung slack.
It was Andrew Child, butcher of the novels according to all the Reacher fans I knew.
"That's fuckin right." said Bezos. "My species have planned the destruction of yours, starting by eradicating the ability of men comfortable enough with their sexuality to give each other reach arounds to breed. This, combined with the upcoming retirement of Lee Child and Andrew's replacement of the series with increasingly lackluster novels, and whatever the fuck I'm going to do to the Tolkien will spell the downfall of your civilization, and we're taking over."
"You won't get away with this Bezos! Not as long as Tom Cruise's teeth still shine with the Light of Xenu and the Two Trees of Valinor!"
But to be honest he probably would, for most of my ideas for continuing the story from here were uninspiring.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Unnecessary Sequels
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
The Undead Sockpuppet

Have you played Littlebigplanet? It is a really fun game. But one day me and my friend were walking and saw a yardsale. We were looking for ps3 games. Their was a game with black and red saying Littlebigplanet. It costed $20 but we only had $10. We decided to split the money and share it for a week. I was so excited to play it but my brother took it to his friend named retriqe. But he left it their on purpose. The next day I saw in the newspaper that a kid was missing it was RETRIQE! I ran to his house and? his parents were crying. They said " Hi Dominic."in a sad voice. "hi" I said sadly. "Can I check Retriqe's room?" "sure." they said. So I went upstairs and grabbed the game I opened it up to see if it was in their it was but something else was in it.
I looked in side there was a text saying why did you do this! I was creeped out but I shrugged it off. I ran home then when I got home their was blood on my hand. I didn't know why. So I got a paper towel wiped the blood off and went up to my room and put in the game but when I looked in the case the text was gone! I put the game in my ps3 and it turned on. But when I saw the game section it was odd it didn't say nothing I didn't really know about that because I just bought my ps3 yesterday so? I started it It started doing the intro normal but then the backround looked like Retriqe!
It was Retriqe he had his gut wide open blood everywhere I just wanted to turn it off but it? just did the beeping sound. Then it started automatically. After that it was normal but then all of sudden static popped up! It was like that for 5 minutes then you played as a bloody socpuppet. You had to bite all of the citizens heads when you were finished it destroyed your console. If you have ever had this please tell me!
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
The Unfinished Story

You've probably met an aspiring author, once or twice. You might even be one. It's a difficult thing, to write a story, that is so enrapturing, so real, that it takes a life of it's own, and sells enough, that you can make a living, off of just that series of books, on their own.
Most people who aspire to be Authors fail. That's because the story can't have an end.
Some stories write themselves. This has been said of many great scriptures.
Some stories write themselves, and don't ever allow themselves to be finished.
Why?
How else, would they live, forever, of course?
You probably have one of these, yourself. A tale, or story, that you started once, and left unfinished. You don't know where it came from. You don't know how it ends.
You want to be an author. That's a nice dream.
Don't finish the story.
A story, that is not meant to be finished, can haunt you, if you force it to end. Ask Lilly. Not that you can hear her. I can though. Lilly was a character in my story, that should have sat, on a long-abandoned 3.5 Inch Floppy disk, until the disk deformated.
Lilly's love story was actually a story about another person.
However, in order for that person to grow. In order for him to become real...
...Lilly had to die.
But Lilly didn't want to die. Now she has contorted my reality, to fit that of her love's life. She died, in front of me. I swear. She haunts me to this day.
Don't finish the story...
Don't finish the story.
Don't.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
The Unknown Hunter

The Unknown Hunter pt.1
Dear reader.
This is a retelling of a journal I have found. As such, I will speak to you as if it had happened to me, rather than someone else. I will put notes if I have something to say about what I have read. The first four pages appear to have been ripped out, as well as many others.
Day Five (page 6)
He has found me again. To you who have found this, I apologize once more that you have been put in danger, but let me start from the beginning. Today I was sitting at home, watching videos and having a good time, thinking I was free. As you have already read, he had been chasing me for days, since the start of the week. (Why does he not say the name again?) I heard him going through my bag, the same place I used to keep my journal, and I was lucky I had decided to move the contents to a shelf, as I thought I was done running. He had...
The rest of the page is gone.
Day Twelve (page 14)
(Most of this page is unreadable, so I will read what I can tell.) How is he finding me, and why? I think I have figured out how to find out, but I will need...
and a small amount of vinegar. It's nice to keep a list of things to kill stuff trying to kill you. And besides, why not have a little fun if you are going to die.
Day 25 (page 93)
I figured it out, I have a useful piece of information I can hold against her. Also, yes, it is a female. I have written the instructions for a ritual to get rid of her, but first I need to catch her.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Jornel
Category:Read by HoodoHoodlum
Category:Shortpasta
The Unpleasant Room

I was a writer. My wife was fine. My kid was fine. I had a great life.
"Drink?" Asked the hotel manager at the hotel I was staying at to write about one of their most haunted rooms. (That's what I write about.)
"You are an alcoholic, aren't you? As a writer?" He continued.
"No,' I replied. "Why would you even ask that? Is substance abuse and addiction an ok topic of conversation for you when you first meet someone?'
"I'm sorry, it's just. I know you write."
"Obviously I write. I'm a writer. But I only enjoy the occasional glass of wine with a meal. Maybe once a month."
"I just thought, since your wife and kid died-"
"My wife and kid haven't died. You met them in the lobby literally 5 minutes ago. They come with me on trips while I stay and write in the spooky rooms."
After the awkwardness had passed, I was escorted to the haunted room, number 58008. As I crossed the threshold I noticed the temperature become a little chilly.
"You should kill yourself." Said the room.
"I'm not going to do that." I replied. "What an unpleasant thing to say to someone. You should do better."
"Ok." Said the room.
I sat down to write on my typewriter, patiently awaiting the next spooky thing to happen.
"Hey," said the room. "I think you're gay."
"Excuse me? Are you 5 years old? Do you think my sexuality is any particular thing to try and turn into an insult?"
"I'm sorry."
"It's ok."
"Will you kill yourself now?"
"No I'm not going to kill myself."
"But, your wife and kid, don't you feel guilty?"
"My wife and kid are fine! They're out shopping! And before you ask, I don't drink. Not because I'm an alcoholic writer, I can just take it or leave it."
The room was silent.
"I have to make one guy kill themselves, or the other rooms won't respect me."
"I'm sorry, but that's not my problem."
"You're mean."
"I'm not mean, I'm just not killing myself so you can brag about it with all the other hotel rooms. Do they sound like the kind of rooms you should be hanging out with?"
The room was dead silent the rest of the night, with some occasional sobbing. It was two out of five creepy and super embarrassing. The next day I drove back home and banged my hot wife, stone cold sober.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
The Untimely Death of Jeff the Killer

It was 5 minutes till midnight, Jeff the Killer was walking through the woods, trying to find his new victim. He had killed so many people that night, he might go back into his hideout. Suddenly he made it to a small log cabin.
Jeff: I guess I'll kill one more person for tonight. It's getting kind of late.
Jeff went into the cabin via the window. It was very small, with a mini fridge, sofa, TV, and a few deer heads mounted on walls.
Jeff: This is pathetic. I'll be doing
him a favor killing him.
He made his way over to the bed. The blanket was covering the man's head, so Jeff couldn't see his face. Jeff thought this was an easy task. No one was around to hear their screams.
Jeff: Go to sleep
Jeff tried to stab the knife into their head, but it bent and fell off. The person had woken up. When he took the covers off, Jeff saw the face of none other than Chuck Norris.
Chuck: Looks like someone has a death wish
Jeff: Who are you?
Chuck: The name's Chuck Norris, but my friends call me GOD!
Jeff: Wait I didn't mean to kill you, my knife slipped!
Chuck: I know you, you're that Jeff the Killer guy. You've killed so many people, and now you're going to pay.
Chuck tried to punch Jeff, but he dodged just in time. Jeff ran out of the cabin. Chuck got his machine gun and pointed it at Jeff. In the street, Jeff dodged his bullets, Matrix style, and threw his broken knife hilt, which knocked the gun out of Chuck's hands. Meanwhile, Jane the Killer was looking for Jeff. Jane then saw him running towards her.
Jane: Ah there you are. I'm going to finally ki-
But before Jane could finish talking, she could see what he was running from. Behind him was none other than Chuck Norris.
Chuck: There's no point in running.
Jeff: Move Jane, I don't have time.
Jeff then tripped on a cinder block. He decided to hit Chuck with him. He raised it over his head, but Chuck had caught up with him.
Jane: JEFF, BEHIND YOU
Jeff turned around and ducked right before Chuck did his traditional round house kick. Jeff then hit Chuck on the head with the block. Chuck fell to the ground. 
Jane: Is he dead?
Jeff: Yes, and so will you be!
Jane ran into the nearest house and hid into the closet. Jeff found the largest knife in the kitchen. 
Jane: Why didn't I just let Chuck kill him?
Jeff: You are kind of stupid
Jeff then opened the closet and raised the knife. Unfortunately for Jeff, Chuck had gotten up, and went into the house. Chuck had grabbed Jeff from behind and thrown him into the wall. 
Jeff: But how? I killed you!
Chuck: You must not understand. I don't die, Death had a near Chuck Norris experience!
Chuck then decided that he was done playing around. He hit Jeff with his fist from under his beard. Jeff was thrown through the wall and onto the pavement. Chuck then Round-House Kicked Jeff's head off. Jane then escaped. Her purpose was completed. Jeff was finally dead. Chuck went into his cabin and started waiting, for you see, Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Crappy ms paint drawings
Category:DIALOGUE!
The Upsetting Parody of Fear-Inducing Pastas

Once upon a time, I was traversing the route from my humble abode to the nearest video displaying device-based entertainment device purchasing facility when I spotted a weary, troubled, drab-looking old fellow with a video displaying device-based entertainment device he was willing to sell for approximately 1.26 Deutschsmarks. Because my predicament required the usage of such currency to obtain the video displaying device-based entertainment devices I had originally intended to obtain through the usage of said currency, I purchased and obtained it from the dusty ol' chap and proceeded to my shelter-unit. I inserted the video display device-based entertainment device into my video display device-based entertainment device decoding device and begun to indulge myself in it's contents when suddenly a hyper-realistic, bright flash caused by the chain reaction of fissile materials approximately 1.2 kilometers, 74 meters, and 234 centimeters of distance away from my exact position caused the dismantlement of my house, and my physical body, thus destroying all my life-sustaining-related physical body functions, and causing me to expire. Then, large boulders, ranging from 2-3 meters across rained from the sky, presumably caused by said previously mentioned nuclear blast. My disembodied spirit, and the disembodied spirits of all other individuals in my neighborhood slowly rose up from the sky. However, I was brought to a horrific reaction when the skeletal structure of a male Homo sapiens sapiens erupted from a local cemetery and proceeded to preform a most horrendous, terrifying action.
IT STARTED DANCING.
And thus, this concludes my story and your time reading here. Good day, fine sir! Of course, some of you may wonder, if i am deceased, then how am i producing this completely and most definitely true and non-fictional story? The world may never know!
also, YO'URE WILL BE THE NEXT VICTIM OF THE HORRIFIC EVENTS THAT TOOK PLACE IN THIS STORY!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
Category:TRUE STORY
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:Rocks Fall, Everybody Dies
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Hyper-realistic
The Urination Centre

To get to the Urination Centre in Half-Life, you must no-clip out of the train and walk to the end of the area on your left. Then, you will see a door, open it and there is a tau cannon, pick it up and kill the mad Security Guard there. Then, open the door, and you will see pots filled with bubbling urine, containing Xen monsters with their limbs removed. Photos of Maja Galečić are on the walls. There is a door at the end of the centre, opening it will crash the game, although some have reported seeing a dark room with a G-Man-like NPC speaking in Indonesian. His lines appear on the bottom of the screen too. Your soundtrack is also changed to "Obichen chovek" by Mizar, and all characters except for Gordon are replaced by Maja Galečić.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Rituwel
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta