nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Elmo's Simpsons Fanfic

Elmo of Sesame Street was growing impatient and, frankly, bored with the conquests of the other public broadcast networks across America. He enjoyed the power it gave him, of course, but he longed for more presence on a major network compared to some channel that runs shitty 360p pottery documentaries all day long. He wanted to tackle a big fish. He wanted The Simpsons.
However, Elmo was far too smart to attempt a full blown conquest of the show, so he decided to plant his seed from within... in more ways than one. He spoke to Groening of Oregon I Think and pitched his idea for an episode. It was far raunchier than any episode that ever even entered the brainstorming room, let alone storyboarding. Elmo wanted Homer to creampie his own asshole. 23 minute long episode, no b-plot. Just Homer on a simple quest, one that was bound to succeed.
The plan worked flawlessly. Groening of Oregon I Think was so tickled by the episode idea he ended up trying to do it himself, resulting in the Creampie Massacre of 1998. With no one left to oppose him, Elmo was free to do as he wished creatively with the show... or so he would have been, if Elmo was not a victim of the massacre, having unfortunately been forced to inject cocaine into his bussy through a needle.
Nevertheless, the legacy still remains, and the episode is being worked on to this day. It's a top secret affair, or, at least, it would be if it weren't for the brave exploits of an anon on the tv/cartoon board of 4chan. Elmo Cultists attempt to silence the truth and keep the episode top secret until its release day where its cognitohazard effects become reality, but I know better. We all know better. Homer creampie own buthol. They cannot hide it forever.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Memes
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Im died
Category:Shortpasta
Elmo's World - Lost Episode: Elmo's Suicide

Hi, i used to be a big fan of Elmo's World when i was 3 or 4, but i was feeling kinda nostalgic, so i went to the thrift store, finding a copy of an Elmo's World episode, it was the regular DVD box for Elmo's World, but it had the words "DON'T WATCH, PLEASE!" written in red marker. "the fuck?" I muttered to myself, i thought it was just a prank, so i bought it and brought it home to watch it. It started with the regular intro, and Elmo was walking down Sesame Street, and he went to find blanket. But he couldn't find him, and he then said, "Where's Blanket? i'm so sad!" the screen then cut to black and showed Emo walking down the street very sadly, he then saw a rope, and tried to hang himself. But the rope snapped. He continued walking and found a shotgun. He then shot his head and his brain was shown, bleeding horribly. But he wasn't dead yet, it then showed a montage of Elmo brutally trying to commit suicide. After it was over, Elmo looked horribly mutilated. He then screamed: "W H Y W O N ' T I D I E ? ! ? !" He proceeded to grab Ernie's rubber duck and shove it down his throat, and then he started repeatedly shooting himself. It was so loud i felt like my ears would start bleeding, Elmo then finally collapsed to the ground, groaning. Elmo was dead, and then the camera darted up to show Blanket. And then the credits rolled. I personally thought i was the lucky one since i heard that several people committed suicide after seeing this episode. I dug a hole in my basement, and buried it in the hole, and set the hole on fire. so if you ever see another copy of this episode, do what i did.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Suicide
Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Wall of Text
Elmo Jack In The Box

When I was a very small kid (and I mean very small as in I was still in a crib, but in my own room), I had an Elmo Jack In The Box. It was my favorite toy. I never knew when it was going to pop up, so it gave me quite the thrill! I was never even scared of it, but I was rather... entranced. Judging from what my parents say, I would only play with this Elmo toy, from the day it was bought for me to the day it was thrown out. My parents say that they knew this kind of behaviour was not normal after many months of me playing solely with this toy, but chose to ignore it because I seemed perfectly normal in every other way. That is, until, one night.
It was a night normal as any other. I had been playing with the Elmo toy with my father, then it was bed time. My dad put the jack in the box back in the toy bin, with toys that hadn't been used for quite some time, laid me down to bed, and walked out of the room, turning off the lights just before he softly closed the door. Hours and hours went by. Everything was okay. So my parents walked down the hall to get to their bedroom.
As they got closer to my door, they noticed that the light was on. Upon getting closer, they could hear the Elmo toy making the wind up noises. They shrugged it off and figured that I had woken up and was playing with it. They said that they went to their room still to change into their sleeping attire and argue over who would put me to bed again. When they opened their door, they heard the Elmo jack in the box spring up and make one of it's various noises it would say when it popped up. That's when my mother realized... I was still in a crib. How could I have made it out to play with the Elmo toy, or turn on the lights? She opened the door and was truly frightened by what she saw.
Sitting in the dead center of the room was the Elmo toy, looking directly at the door, and now, my mom. Not saying or doing anything. Just sitting there. Staring. I was fast asleep, still in my crib. The toy chest was closed, and locked. They put it in the trash right then and there, and it was picked up the next day, to be forever forgotten.
Now, you may be thinking, "Pssh, this can't be real. This is obviously fake," in which case you would be wrong. My parents have told me this story countless times, the details of it never changing, as lies often do. I also vividly remember having that Elmo toy one day, and not having it the next. I didn't know why it was gone, but I continued to play with my other toys as if nothing had happened. If you have read any of my other pastas, you will know that I do try and add as much realism in them as possible. This, my friends, is entirely, one-hundred percent true.
Below, I have some shocking evidence of some other strange things that Elmo toys have done. You can choose to believe it or not, but I have all the proof and experience I need. This did happen.
The 'video proof' used to be linked in this page but it has since unfortunately been deleted
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Living Objects
Category:Beings
Category:TELAVISHUN
Elon Musk's wiping technique

According to Musk, he is currently using toilet paper to clean his ass after pooping. Which allows him to clean his ass without getting his hands dirty but also get a clean ass when needed. Musk says that he uses the toilet paper on the left hand, while he typically holds his phone in his right hand. When Musk's toilet paper isn't cleaning his ass, he likes to use his phone to shit post over twitter. Musk is also fluid when it comes to type of toilet paper, switching between regular and wet wipes depending on if he has shit stains on his ass or not.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Satire
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Elvis.EXE

Once upon a time, there was a dude named Elvis Smith who, from the outside, was your typical average joe. But in reality, he was more sinister, for he served the CULT OF X! DUN DUN DUNNNNN! X had promised him great power in exchange for eternal servitude for the cult.
"Yes, my lord," Elvis told him. And from there, he did simply one thing: Give out copies of Sonic.exe to innocent people, and watch as they go "ZOMG! ZOMG! ZOMG! BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!" However, as time went on, he grew dissatisfied and hated working for the Cult of X. So one day, Elvis told X he hated him, and ran. However, X would get him back.
One day, Elvis received something in the mail. It was "Sonic.exe!" DUN DUN DUNNNNNN! "Oh, god no!" Elvis cried. Despite that, he made the most stupid decision a Gaming Creepypasta protagonist could ever do: he played it. He started as Tails, and he noticed the most horrifying part of the game: the game-play was subpar and mediocre. You know how it goes: Tails, Knuckles, and Robotnik/Eggman all get killed by Sonic.exe.
"You shouldn't have betrayed me, Elvis..." A voice from behind Elvis told him.
AND THEN A SKELETON PLUSHY OF SONIC POPPED UP AND KILLED HIM!!!!111!!!111!!!111!!1
Sequel
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Sonic
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Shortpasta
Emails

I always liked checking my emails during my years of parties and school. I was quite the social butterfly. It was a constant thing, part of my everday schedule. I usually had three to four emails a day on a daily basis, not including IM's and spam. One day, however, that all seemed to change. Walking home, I saw some police cruisers outside my friends house, so I decided to go see what was up. My friend Derrik was sitting on his porch while the police seemed to be doing something with his parents. "Derrik? What's going on?" I yelled from outside the gates of his house. I was fearing of what i might hear next. "I got a threatening email, and apparently someone found a way to find my address, name, phone number, everything from just emailing me retarded chains and shit." He said. "Damn.." I muttered. I went home after saying goodbye, and went straight to my laptop. Logging in, I had 17 new emails, all from from blocked addresses. The part that weirded me out was that they were all 'Stupid chains.' I deleted them all, and stayed online. At 1:42 AM, I received a new one. Here's what it said; Hello, Jessica. I knew you were reading these. I want to say you have a VERY lovely home. Thank you. I called the cops. He still came, and he easily killed me. He pulled my innards, stabbed my eyes out, and made me an ugly sight. The next thing I remember was hell.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Im died
Category:That just raises more questions!
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Emails from Jenny

These were the emails from my friend Jenny before she disappeared...
__NOTOC__
==Email #1==
Dear Mia,
School at cali's been going good. I miss talking to you on the phone, however someone's been stalking me though... you want to know how I know? Whenever I come home from late night studying with a friend, we see a shadowy figure in the corner of our eyes. It's scary because it might be anybody... even nevermind. Just watch out at night, and email me back when you can.
==Email #2==
Dear Mia,
Why haven't you called today? You said you don't have any tutoring for the rest of the week so WHY. Anyways I'm in deep shit. That figure gets closer to me every night...so far its 3 inches closer than before. it looks like a man holding a gun...with an inhuman face. Anyway, see ya'.
==Email #3==
Please don't leave me without calling me... he's gotten closer. His face isn't human, he has a black suit, long stretchy arms, a white face, and no facial features whats so ever...anyways. I need your help. How do I defend against it?
==Email #4==
Oh dear god, he's here. Apparently, he's Slenderman, if you see him don't think of him. You can run but you cannot hide. Help-
That was the last I've heard of Jennifer...the police cannot find any traces of her.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Jornel
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:English Class Failure
Category:PROOF DAT SLENDURMAN EXUSTS
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Emergency Alert System

When I was about 12, I had a odd fear of Emergency Broadcast Systems. I never really got the point of this, but one night, it was about to get worse. Around 1 A.M, I saw a alert for a storm coming at around 2. I was home alone, nobody else was around, and all the lights were out except for the light of the TV. As I felt very uncomfortable, I heard the announcer's voice say, "If you are outside, get to a shelter fast." After that, the silent alert just stayed on the TV for an awkward 30 seconds, but then it started glitching up. The screen started showing pixels scramble all over the television, and then I saw some disturbing images and videos. The alert had interrupted a show that had just started, so I assumed it was just the signals mixing.
What I heard were a bunch of scattered beeps, static, rings, all sorts of sounds mixed together. I saw anonymous faces of many expressions, one was happy, one was sad, one was shocked, one was terrifyed, and another was mad. As this was happening, the lights in the house went insane, they kept turning on and off, and I even recall one of the lights blowing a fuse.
All that was in my head at that moment was nothing more than "What the fuck?" . Then the screen went black and restarted the warning, but nothing wrong happened this time. It ended normally with 2 long beeps and 3 short beeps. Twenty minutes later, it issued another warning, but at the end it said something out of the blue. "If you are outside, get to a shelter fast, and get down to the lowest part of the building, but there is no hope for you. You're next." Then, after 3 short beeps, the power went out. I got up off the couch and I ran to the basement.
When I got to the stairs, I saw two gleaming eyes at the bottom glaring at me. I then froze in fear as I felt something cold touch my shoulder.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:Beings
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Emery

He looked at the head line of the newspaper and smiled to himself. He then read the article for the second time through.
The man set down the newspaper, pleased. He then began to carefully cut out the article and tape in gently into a scrapbook. He always kept records of his work and since it was too difficult and risky to obtain police records, newspaperr articles would have to do.
The killer Emery was a very careful man. He always made sure never to leave a trace. Always wore gloves. Always wore a mask. Always killed all witnesses.
It was that policy that annoyed Emery the most. Disposing of every living thing in the home. So many innocent lives lost. The canary in the Johnson house. The beagle the Davis's kept. The only one he let live was the Argyle's cat. It had just looked so peaceful, he coldn't bare to kill it and grind off its soft fur with His signature sandpaper.
Emery loved his small town. He grew up, lived, and worked in the small Utah town. Almost everyone in the town attended weekly Church services and anyone who wasn't there was quickly noticed. Emery hated when people didn't come to church. IT was the Lord's day and, to him, to do anything besides worship was worthy of death.
That's how he came up with his plan.
Any and all sinners will be punished in the Lord's name on the Lord's day.
The Johnsons stole cable.
Mr. Davis was sleeping with Mrs. Argyle.
The list went on. He had plans for each and every sinner in his town and he would not stop until each and ever sinner was punished.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Emily's Suicide

I don't usually tease people. And, I don't think I ever will, after this... Rather traumatic experience that I had. It's going to haunt me for years. In fact, probably until the day I die.
It all started out on a nice day. Me and my friend, Suzy were at school, talking about life. After a while, we started talking about Emily. Emily was usually picked on because she was from Africa. People told lies about her, saying that she was a snobbish jerk. I was the only one who actually liked Emily a bit. I actually had a question lying around in my head for a while that I wanted to ask Suzy. So I said "Suzy, why do we pick on Emily?" . There was a long pause. "Because it's fun. And she's ugly.", she responded. What we did not know, however, was that Emily had been watching us. She started crying. "Emily! Wait!'", I shouted, but she had already ran away. "Eh. She's probably off to go lick the dirt off people's shoes", Suzy said. "Not that I care". A few weeks later, I decided to go over to Emily's house, it wasn't actually a house, she lived in an apartment on the sixth floor. I knocked on the door. A few seconds later, Mummy Elephant opened the door. She happily said "Oh, Hello Peppa! Nice of you to visit! What do you want?" I responded with "I'd like to talk to Emily, Please". Mummy Elephant's smile started to fade. "Oh, she's currently on the toilet, it's on the seventh floor. She'll be down soon.". "Alright, I'll just wait inside the children's room.", I responded. I went into the place. It was quite small, and only had three rooms. The kitchen, the adults bedroom and the children's bedroom. I went into the children's bedroom, and saw a small room with two small beds and a little box with toys. Edmond was also there. I hadn't seen him in a while. He looked skinny and depressed. "Hello, Peppa. Why are you here?". He said. "Hi Edmond", "I want to talk to Emily once she gets back. I want to apoligize for letting the others bully her". I responded. "I don't think she's ever coming back here", Edmond said. "Why not? Do you think she's gonna stay in the restroom forever? That's silly!", I said. "No", said Edmond. "I think she's going to jump.". There was a pause, after which I said "Jump? What do you mean?". But Edmond just stared at me. I repeated "What do you mean?"​. After what felt like days, he slowly said "Jump. Out. Out of the window." Then he started to cry. I now realized what he meant. I ran out of the place and quickly skipped up the stairs, then entered the bathroom. The door wasn't locked. To my horror, I saw Emily, about to jump out the window. She was wearing old, decayed clothing. She had sharp cuts all over her body. "Emily! No!" I shouted, but it was too late. She had jumped. I screamed in horror as I looked out the window and saw her body fall, and eventually hit the ground. Emily was dead. I cried.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Wall of Text
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Eminem Kills KIm

Eminem is my favourite artist i have all his albums, one day i was listening to the marshall mathers lp and i notest a song i've never herd before it was the 16th track on the album.
it started out with Eminem singing his daughter a lullaby and then i herd a woman screaming in the background. it was Kim, she was crying and begging Eminem to leave. Eminem then started yelling at Kim and he asked her to look at the dead bodies of her husband and his 4 year old son that were laying on the floor and then he told her to come with him for a ride in the car.
Eminem forced into the car and Eminem was still yelling at Kim and he smacked her in the face and blamed her for driving him crazy. Eminem took her somewhere no one will ever find her he drove far away out of the town and went into the woods. He pushed her out of the car and started laughing he said "KIM YOU HAVE NO WHERE TO HIDE" Kim then started to run away and Eminem caught up with her and garped her, then he took out a knife and slit her throat and he yelled "BLEED BITCH BLEED" as she died in his arms.
Then Eminem dragged the dead body back to the car and put her in the trunk. afterward he went back to the house and he kidnaped his daughter and drove off far away from that town. some say that Kim's dead body is still in that trunk today!
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Music
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:English Class Failure
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Shortpasta
Emoji Death

I (41M) am an avid Reddit enjoyer. As a long time member of the Reddit nation (7 years), I am an expert in Reddit. 3 months ago, I was at a party with my fellow Redditor friends. We were talking about the crimes we commited, such as mass murder and money laundering. It was late at night, I decided to have 69 beers. (For the lolz of course, I am not an addict.)
When I was driving home extremely drunk, I grabbed my phone to see a text from my friend John, it said: "Be careful driving out there you didn't have enough beers 🍺" which he quickly followed by "Didn't mean to click the emoji!" It was too late. Before I could even read it, I threw my phone out the window and drove at full speed back, causing about 4 car crashes.
I arrived, barging down the door with a shotgun. Everyone was scared, I strangled some random guy, and asked him where John was with anger. He was struggling to breathe, but said that he went outside in the woods. I threw the guy and went back into my car, driving at full speed into the woods. I had my shotgun ready.
After killing a deer with a tree I accidentally knocked over, I saw john, and hit him with my car going 300 mph. he was very injured, I slowly walk out, with my shotgun. I say "Did you just... use an... EMOJI!?" he was crying, begging for his life.
I shot him in the head as he was screaming. I then buried his body, and then buried the dead deer above him. A tip I got from a Reddit thread, so police would see the animal first and think thats what the smell is from. I then went back home to scroll on r/AmITheAsshole until I fall asleep.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Memes
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Shortpasta
Emoji Reactions Copypasta

Reacting to messages with a clown, a skull, or a nerd face isn't funny. It's not cool, it's not interesting, it's annoying.
These 3 emojis in particular aren't funny, they're RUDE. We as staff work hard to keep this place safe, and to have you all constantly react to our messages with mean emojis makes me FURIOUS.
STOP reacting to our messages with rude emojis. They do NOTHING but make you look really, really stupid.
It shows you have no rebuttals to our arguments, so you have to use juvenile tactics paramount to terrorism in order to stop us from being able to speak out truth.
FROM NOW ON, IF YOU REACT WITH ANY MEAN EMOJIS, I AM WRITING YOUR NAME DOWN.
IF YOU ARE A SERIAL REACTOR, YOUR USERNAME IS GOING TO A GOOGLE DOC. AT THE END OF THE MONTH, I WILL TAKE THIS DOC TO THE APPROPRIATE AUTHORITIES FOR THEM TO INVESTIGATE AND ARREST YOU.
This is your ONLY warning. Tread carefully...
Category:Copypasta
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Memes
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Shortpasta
Empire of Coffee

I drank some coffee today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the grains
the only thing that's real
The coffee maker burns a hole
the old familiar drink
try to spill it down the drain
but I remember everything
What have I become?
My Starbucks friend
Everyone I know goes to Dunkin Donuts, in the end
And Cymbal could have it all
my empire of coffee
I will let you down
I will make you coffee
I wear this crown of grains
upon my Starbucks CEO chair
Full of broken thoughts
I can not repair
Beneath the stains of caffeine
the tastes will disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become?
My Starbucks friend
Everyone I know
Goes to Dunkin Donuts in the end
And Cymbal could have it all
my empire of coffee
I will let you down
I will make you coffee
If I could drink again
a million coffeehouses away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Morons Attempting Poetry
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta