Citizen Cheikh/Transcript

Arthur sits on the couch and plays a ‘Curse of the Moomies’ video game. The screen shows a sphinx with a cow’s head.
Arthur: Ooh, I've never been on this level before! Hm, I wonder what's in this urn? 
His character throws an ankh at the urn and golden scarabs come out. 
Arthur: No way! 500 golden scarabs! Jackpot! 
He addresses the audience. 
Arthur: Don't you just love surprises? Surprises are the best! Well... most of the time.
Flashback: Buster sits in a dentist chair.
Buster: What?! I have how many cavities? Aw, man.
Flashback: Brain conducts a chemical experiment in his room.
Brain: If all goes according to plan, this should be the best-tasting lemonade ever!
The mix splashes all over his face. He tries some with his finger.
Brain: Or not.
The flashback ends. Arthur’s character is throwing ankhs at a door.
Arthur: That's why they’re surprises. 'Cause you never see them coming. They just pop out of the blue, and... 
D.W. pops out from behind the couch.
D.W.: Boo!
Arthur: Augh!! D.W.!
D.W.: What? I was just letting you know dinner is ready.
Arthur: (groans)
D.W.: (chuckles)
Arthur: Not the kind of surprise I wanted. 
On the TV screen, the door opens. 
Arthur: I did it! I opened the tomb to king Moosiris! 
On the screen, a horde of mummies looking like D.W. come walking towards him.
Mummies: Dinner!
Arthur: Augh!! 
He runs away.
~~~
Title Card: Cheikh and D.W. play drums
~~~
D.W. and Bud sit together in the back of the preschool playground with their lunchboxes. Cheikh joins them.
Bud: What you got?
D.W.: Cheese sticks, apple, box of raisins. You?
Bud: Sweet pickles, sour pickles, in-between pickles.
D.W.: Hey, Cheikh. Wanna trade something for one of those crispy, delicious pies from Senegal?
Cheikh: You mean fatayas?
D.W.: Yeah, yeah, that!
Cheikh: Sorry, my mom only packed me one today.
Bud: Doesn't she usually give you three?
Cheikh: Yeah, but she and my dad have been busy studying for some big test and she forgot.
D.W.: I get it. Once when Arthur was studying for a test, he put his sneakers in the refrigerator. 
She sticks a straw in her juice box and it squirts on her. 
Arr! When will someone invent a juice box that doesn't squirt?!
~~~
Later in Cheikh’s bedroom, Cheikh plays with an action figure looking like a Senegalese wrestler.
Cheikh: And then the leaping lion leaps! Rawrrr! 
The wrestler “jumps” on a plastic dinosaur. 
Cheikh: And pins Dino Man! Leaping Lion is the champ! 
D.W. watches from Cheikh’s bed with a bored expression.
D.W.: Again? How many times can he be champ?
Cheikh: A million billion if he wanted to. The Leaping Lion is the best wrestler in all of Senegal. Maybe all of Africa. 
He looks at a poster of the Leaping Lion on the wall.
D.W.: Heh, you sound like Binky. He loves wrestling. Can we play your djembe drums?
Cheikh: Okay!
They sit down with two drums and start playing. Cheikh is good at it while D.W. is clearly a beginner. Cheikh’s mom comes in.
Mrs. Diouf: Sorry, you two. Can you please play a little more quietly? We're trying to study.
Cheikh: Okay, Yaay. 
The mother leaves.
D.W.: "Yaay?"
Cheikh: That's what I call my mom, Yaay. Okay, ready? We'll play as quietly as we can.
They lightly tap the drums.
D.W.: It's not as fun when you can't even hear them.
Cheikh: I know. I hope this test is over soon.
~~~
Cheikh sits at the counter of the Powers’ ice-cream shop and has a milk shake. His parents come in.
Mr. Diouf: Cheikh, we have a wonderful surprise.
Mrs. Diouf: Your father and I passed our citizenship test and interview.
Mr. Diouf: It's been a long process.
Mrs. Diouf: But now we're all going to be American citizens.
Cheikh: We are?
Mrs. Diouf: Yes, we'll be sworn in at the naturalization ceremony soon.
Cheikh: We will?
Brain: Congratulations, Cheikh! That's great news.
Cheikh: It is?
Brain: Ice-cream sundaes all around! 
Mrs. Powers gives a sundae to Mrs. Diouf who gives it to Cheikh. Cheikh smiles.
~~~
The next day, Cheikh sits in art class at preschool and looks worried. Behind him, D.W. draws a boat and Bud draws a dinosaur.
Cheikh: American citizen, what does that mean? Do I have to give up all my things from Senegal?
Bud: Beats me.
Cheikh: What about my djembe drums? Will I have to give up those?
D.W.: I hope not. I love those drums!
Bud: What about fatayas? They go so well with my pickles.
D.W.: I love fatayas even more than your drums! Maybe there's a special rule that lets you keep those?
Cheikh: Are you American citizens?
D.W.: Of course. Uh, I think so.
~~~
That afternoon, D.W. talks to Arthur and Buster in the living room who are just unpacking a model kit for the Grain Reaper.
Arthur: Yes, we're American citizens.
D.W.: But I didn't take any test. Did you? And are you sure you passed?
Arthur: If you're born in the United States, you're automatically an American citizen.
Buster: You don't have to pass a test.
D.W.: What do you get if you're an American citizen?
Arthur: You get to vote when you're 18.
D.W.: Hm...
D.W. imagines stepping into a voting booth as an adult. There are posters saying “Vote for D.W.” on the walls. D.W. comes out again while Hail to the Chief plays.
Adult D.W.: Woo-hoo! D.W. for president!
The fantasy ends.
D.W.: I like that!
Buster: You also get to eat stars and stripes stew.
Arthur: What's that?
Buster: You've never had stars and stripes stew? Ha, my mom and I eat it every Fourth of July! Doesn't everyone?
D.W.: What's in it?
Buster: Tomatoes, mashed potatoes and blueberries. To me, it's what America tastes like.
Arthur: Ugh!
Buster: Hey, don't knock it till you try it!
D.W.: Hm...
~~~
Later, D.W. puts a tomato into a bowl with blueberries in the kitchen and mashes it. The doorbell rings. D.W. opens and finds Bud with a Tupperware pot.
D.W.: Did you bring the mashed potatoes?
Bud: Uh-huh. 
~~~
The next day, Bud, D.W. and Cheikh sit at a table in preschool. D.W. opens the Tupperware pot which contains mashed potatoes with mashed tomatoes and blueberries in it.
Cheikh: What is it?
D.W.: Stars and stripes stew. Buster said it's what America tastes like.
Cheikh: Have you tried it?
D.W.: Not yet. Bud, you go first.
Bud: Why me?
D.W.: Because they're your mashed potatoes.
Bud: Well, they're your tomatoes and blueberries.
Cheikh: Let's try it all at the same time. 
They each take a spoonful of stew.
Bud: Hm… America tastes sweet, tart... and gloopy. It's actually better than I thought. 
He takes another spoonful.
D.W.: Blech! Yuck! I'll take fatayas over that any day.
Cheikh: I don't really like it either.
Bud: Yeah, the second bite wasn't as good. Do you think if we don't like it, we're bad citizens?
D.W.: Probably.
~~~
On the park playground, Arthur and Buster toss a football to each other. Cheikh and D.W. ride the swings while Bud watches. Binky comes by on a skateboard. His board, helmet and kneepads are painted like the American flag.
Binky: Hey, Cheikh! Arthur said you're becoming a U.S. citizen.
Cheikh: Yes, pretty soon. 
Binky takes a Slam Wilson bobblehead out of his backpack.
Binky: Welcome to the Uncle Slam Fan club. He's the best wrestler in the whole universe.
Cheikh: Uh, well... 
Binky takes out a fan T-shirt.
Binky: You can have this. It's too small on me.
Cheikh: Uh, thanks, Binky. 
D.W. and Bud exchange looks.
Binky: Uncle Slam all the way! Woo! 
He rides off. Cheikh looks unhappy.
Cheikh: But… what about the Leaping Lion?
Bud: Maybe you can root for two wrestlers at the same time.
Cheikh: Not really. I guess I'll have to switch to Uncle Slam.
Bud: Do all American citizens have to root for Uncle Slam?
D.W.: I don't even like wrestling.
~~~
That evening, Cheikh’s mother tucks him in bed.
Mrs. Diouf: Tomorrow is the big day. We're going to the naturalization ceremony to be sworn in.
Cheikh: So that's it. Tomorrow I'll be an American citizen. 
She kisses him.
Mrs. Diouf: isn't it wonderful? 'Night, Cheikh. Love you. 
She turns off the light and leaves.
Cheikh: 'Night, Yaay. I mean Mom.
Cheikh falls asleep. He dreams that he is walking through preschool. Suddenly, fatayas shoot out of his pockets.
Kids: Hh!
Bud: Cheikh, aren't those fatayas?
Cheikh: Kinda.
Kids: Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk!
His shirt flies off and he is wearing a dashiki underneath.
Cheikh: Huh?
D.W.: Your dashiki is showing.
Cheikh: Oh no!
Kids: Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk!
A Leaping Lion figure appears in Cheikh’s hand.
Cheikh: Oh! 
Uncle Slam is sitting on a stool reading the newspaper.
Uncle Slam: Is that the Leaping Lion? I-I thought you were joining my fan club! (sobs) 
Cheikh runs over to him.
Cheikh: I was going to! I promise!
Uncle Slam: (cries) Cheikh thinks Uncle Slam isn't worthy.
Cheikh: You are. Don't cry.
Uncle Slam: (cries) 
He runs out of the room.
The dream ends.
Cheikh: Hh!
Cheikh takes a Senegalese flag off the wall. He rolls up an African rug and takes off the Leaping Lion poster.
Cheikh: I'm really sorry, Leaping Lion. I have to replace you. 
He rolls up the poster. Then he puts his dashikis in a drawer under the bed and puts the djembe drums in the closet. He looks unhappy.
~~~
The next day, Cheikh looks at Uncle Slam action figures in the toy store as Brain walk by.
Mrs. Diouf: Are you sure that's the one you want?
Cheikh: (sighs) Yeah.
Brain: Hey, Cheikh, there's some new Leaping Lion action figures over here.
Cheikh: Hh! 
He suddenly cheers up. Brian holds a case with a Leaping Lion figure wearing a tracksuit. Cheikh takes it and looks at the Leaping Lion and Uncle Slam. Then he drops both.
Cheikh: Why do I have to be an American citizen?
Mrs. Diouf: Cheikh.
Cheikh: I'm not old enough to vote, I don't like stars and stripes stew, and I'm not a fan of Uncle Slam.
Brain: What's stars and stripes stew?
Cheikh: Trust me, you don't want to know.
Mrs. Diouf: Why do you think you have to like those things?
Cheikh: Because I'm going to be an American citizen, so I have to give up my favorite things from Senegal and just like American things.
Mrs. Diouf: No, you don't.
Cheikh: Really?
Brain: America is made up of all different cultures. It's like these Autobionica toys.
Cheikh: Huh?
Brain goes to a stand and picks up a truck and two cars. He sticks them together to make a robot.
Brain: See? They're all completely unique cars, but you can fit them together. They're still different, right? But they also make one cool robot.
Cheikh looks delighted.
Mrs. Diouf: Your father and I want to become citizens because it will give us, and you, more opportunities, but we still love being from Senegal.
Cheikh: You'll still make fatayas? And I can still call you Yaay?
Mrs. Diouf: (chuckles) Of course, my love!
They hug. Cheikh points to the robot.
Cheikh: Can I have this instead? 
~~~
In the Elwood City Town Hall. An officer swears in a group of new citizens, which includes the Dioufs who are all wearing traditional Senegalese clothes. The Powers, Mrs. Compson, Gussie and Madison sit in the audience. 
Officer: Raise your right hand, and repeat after me.
Shortly afterwards.
New Citizens: …that I will support and defend the constitution and laws of the United States of America.
Officer: Congratulations to our newest citizens.
The audience claps. The Diouf parents picks up Cheikh and hug him. All are holding American flags. Mrs. Powers takes a picture.
~~~
On the way home, the Dioufs stop in front of the preschool.
Cheikh: I thought we were going home, Yaay.
Mrs. Diouf: We have a surprise for you.
They walk into the schoolroom where the other kids have prepared a surprise party.
Kids: Congratulations, Cheikh! Woo-hoo, yay! 
Mrs. Diouf brings a basket of fatayas.
Mrs. Diouf: Fatayas for everyone!
Kids: (Yay! Woo-hoo!) 
Mr. Diouf brings in a djembe drum.
Mr. Diouf: And a little music, too!
Cheikh: My drums!
Mr. Diouf starts playing and the kids dance.
Kids: (laugh)
Cheikh: Want a fataya, Bud?
Bud: No thanks. I have a tummy ache from eating stars and stripes stew all week. Yuck! I guess I'm just not a good American citizen.
Cheikh: Sure you are. Being an American means we're free not to like whatever we want.
Bud: (moans) You couldn't have told us that earlier? 
He slumps on the desk.
Category:Transcripts
Category:Season 22-25 transcripts