Lord Lleyo Gets Locked Out Of His House

I am Lord Lleyo, a noble from the land of Broethien. I have a pendant and a house seal.
One morning, I was awakened by one of my laborers. She told me that my estate was being surrounded. I looked out the window and saw a group of men dressed in black standing on top of a hill. They were armed with crossbows and wearing leather armor. The woman who woke me also said that they are very well dressed.
The man who woke me looked at me and then turned his attention to the window. 
He closed the blinds, but not before I saw him turn around and say: "I'm sorry about this".
"We must protect this house!" I said. 
"Lord Lleyo, I will protect my home!" He replied.
"Yes, yes, I know," I responded. "But first, we need to get inside".
He nodded and began walking towards the door. 
"Wait, no! I mean my house must be protected!" I replied.
"Well, that's what guards do, you know?" 
I watched as the man continued to walk towards the door. Suddenly, he stopped and turned around. He pointed to the house and spoke in an odd language. It sounded like some sort of ancient tongue, but I didn't understand a word. The man then started walking back towards the house.
I then closed the door and locked it with a key. Then, I stood up and started pacing around the room. Finally, I sat down on the bed and began thinking.
I then called out to my mother, but she didn't answer. She must've been busy. I thought about calling her again, when I'm alone. I continued to wait for her to return.
I then grabbed a sword off the table and put it into its scabbard. I also grabbed a dagger from the drawer and put it into its scabbard. I took a small leather pouch from my pocket and put some coins in it. I opened the door and entered the room.
I exited the house and headed back to the inn. When I arrived, I found that the innkeeper has already left. I wondered if I should follow him or go back to the house.
I then followed the innkeeper back to the house. Eventually, I reached it. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I tried the front door, but there was nobody there either. I decided to check the back door, but it was locked too.
I then rushed through the back door and ran straight to the bedroom. I quickly grabbed a nearby knife and stabbed the wall several times until I heard something fall on the floor. I peeked through the peephole and saw a woman dressed in black standing behind me.
I then turned around and asked the woman why she was there.
She smiled and told me: "My name is Lilith, and I am here to help you."
"How are you going to help me?" I responded.
"By helping me kill you." She responded.
"Don't kill me, I can pay!" I begged.
"No, you won't, but you might still be able to save your own life." She laughed and responded.
I then ran out of the house and down the stairs. I didn't stop running until I was far away from the area.
I then tried to call mom again, but she didn't answer again.
I then waited patiently for her to come back. Eventually, she returned. She seemed upset. I thought about how she would feel if I had killed her son. I hoped she didn't hate me for it.
I then greeted her warmly. She smiled and hugged me tightly. I told her everything. She told me that she was glad I came back, because she was worried about me. She asked me if I wanted to stay with her tonight. I said: "Yes", and she kissed me goodbye.
I then dug down 5 blocks and found a house. Inside the house, I found a young girl. She looked very frightened and confused. I told her that I was her father and uncle and that I've been looking for her all day.
I kept digging and eventually, I found a large stone block. I picked it up and placed it on the ground. I then shouted: "This is where you were buried!". The girl ran forward and grabbed the stone. She stared at it in awe. 
I asked the girl: "Where did you bury the other boy?".
She looked at me and said: "His body fell into the river and washed up here. His name is Harry, and he drowned in the river last year".
I then sprinted into a cave and jumped onto the rock face. I threw myself at the cave wall and slammed my fist against it. I screamed in pain and cried out: "Oh god, oh god, oh god..."
I then ran back to the house and told my mom what happened. She took me to the doctor who examined me. 
The doctor then said: "We are going to have to remove the hand."
He then pulled out one of my fingers, then he pulled out another finger, then another. Finally, he removed my entire hand.
He then told me that I will need two more fingers removed. He put his hand on my right hand and began to pull out my fingers. I screamed in agony and begged for him to stop. Finally, he finished removing them.
He then removed my feet as well. I screamed in horror and yelled at him to stop. Finally, he stopped and looked at me.
"I'm sorry, I have the wrong chart..."
THE END
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.