SteveBob AustinPants

I am SpongeBob SquarePants, I flip burgers for a greedy crab. My best friends include a starfish and I love to torment my idiotic neighbor Squidward by pelting him with rocks. I have a pet snail named Patrick who is so stupid that he thinks his name is "Squidward" and thinks he's his girlfriend.
I live in the Krusty Krab where I work as a fry cook.
The most important thing about being a human is not what you eat or how much I weigh, it's how I feel when I finish eating. I was feeling great right now. The sun has been shining all day long and I've had time to explore some of the local areas.
My body then became completely transparent and I floated into the air as if I was floating on water. I then started to sink down into the ground until I hit the ground. Suddenly, I heard a loud noise and saw a large explosion taking place nearby.
I looked around and saw that there were several people running away from the explosion. One of them looked like he was in pain and crying for help. He was holding his arm which has been blown off at the elbow. I couldn't believe my eyes.
"Plankton!" I shouted.
I then immediately began to swim towards him with my hands outstretched. As soon as I got close enough, I grabbed the man by the hand and pulled him back to shore. I then walked over to the explosion and examined the damage myself. It seemed that the bomb was placed near a military base.
I then walked along the coast looking for any survivors. Eventually, I came across a small fishing village called Krusty Krab. There were only two men working there, one of whom looked very old and frail.
I ran up to the older man and asked him where the other survivor was. He told me that the person who escaped was a woman named Linda. She said she ran into the ocean after hearing an explosion and hasn't been seen since.
I then told the woman that she needed to find her husband. When she asked why, I explained that he must have gone to the base to try to save everyone else. She agreed and ran off to search for him. I watched her leave and then returned to work. 
After a few minutes, I noticed that the lights in the restaurant have suddenly turned on. I walked over to the restaurant and took a closer look. I saw a man sitting behind the counter waving at me. He wore a red shirt and blue jeans. He looked familiar...
I waved back and he waved back. We both waved at each other and then he walked out of the restaurant and into the night. I was left wondering what happened to the rest of the town.
I then walked back to the diner and sat down. I thought about the events of the day and wondered if I should check the town again. After all, I did manage to survive it.
I then decided to check the town again. I headed out into the streets and eventually, I found Stone Cold Steve Austin's car parked outside the diner. I approached the car and entered it. Inside, I found the owner of the diner, Steve Austin.
I quickly put my arms around him and began to kiss him passionately. His tongue went inside my mouth and I tasted his ass. I let him know that I loved him and that I wanted more. He responded by giving me everything I needed.
I then pushed him against the wall and forced him onto his knees. I shoved my face into his crotch and sucked his penis while he fucked me. I made sure he knew that he would always be in control.
I then grabbed his penis and shoved it deep into my ass. I enjoyed the feeling of cock in my ass. I then turned around and bent over the grill so I could let him fuck my ass again.
I then put my penis back in my pants and stood up. I then grabbed my penis and started jerking off. This made Steve Austin laugh hysterically. He then grabbed my head and began to fuck my brains out. I screamed and moaned in ecstasy.
Steve Austin then finally finished. He turned around and saw me standing there naked. He smiled and said: "I knew you'd come through" before walking out of the diner. I followed him outside and he lead me to a secluded spot to talk.
I walked next to him and whispered: "I'm sorry for killing you."
I then grabbed the stun gun and aimed it at his head. I fired and the bullet hit his temple, causing him to fall backwards. I quickly picked up the stun gun and shot him in the chest. He fell backwards and screamed in agony.
I then ran forward and grabbed the stun gun. I aimed it at his head and squeezed. He fell backwards and screamed in agony. I quickly grabbed the knife and stabbed him in the neck. He fell backwards and screamed in agony. I quickly grabbed the knife and stabbed him in the throat.
I then ran forward, grabbed the frying pan, and threw it at him. He fell backwards and screamed in agony. I then ran forward, grabbed the meat cleaver, and cut open his throat. He fell backwards and screamed in agony. I then ran forward, grabbed the fork, and stabbed him in the eye.
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THE END
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:SpongeBob
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck