nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Ted Cassels

Ted Cassels is a former Lehman Brothers investment banker who recently lost his job because of the economic recession America is going through. Total assholes like him completely fucked America and the rest of the world. He has three kids, had a really hot wife (can you say MILF) and a great life until he had to completely fuck himself and the rest of the country. Ted spends most of his time jacking off in his cardboard box home in Manhattan, stealing food or money from children and drinking heavily. He is an asshole. Fuck Ted Cassels.
==Early life==
Ted was born with a silver spoon thrust into his mouth by his wetnurse. A bunch of useless information which you care even less about than this article. Went to high school, then Dartmouth. Shit happened. Graduated with a finance major. Some more shit happened. Became a broker or investment banker for Lehman Brothers.
==Ted Fucks a Nation==
While working at Lehman Brothers, Ted managed to help Lehman Brothers skullfuck America's economy. Ted was left homeless along with thousands of other employees. The CEOs? Doing fine (one's pet cougar just had babies, so yay baby cougars =] ).
==Homelessness (the fucker had it coming)==
Ted went to live on the streets of New York. In stead of his hot-ass wife to come home to every night (I should probably mention, I'm banging his wife =]), he has his hand(s) any time he wants, often in the presence of people who he then robs with his cum covered hands. Ted drinks heavily as well, he is never seen without a bottle of cheap vodka. Also he's a Wal-Mart greeter. 6 year-olds steal his smiley face stickers then tackle and kick him. His manager constantly abuses him. Still, he is an asshole. Fuck Ted Cassels.
==Ted Today==
If you are ever in New York, and you go to 7-11 to get some munchies late at night because you're really high. You might see a homeless guy passed out by a building with his cock hanging out. That's Ted, please kick him.
Ted Cassels is an asshole. Fuck Ted Cassels.
Category:Biographies of Ridiculous Persons
Category:American businesspeople
Category:Economics
Category:Thems what will work for food
Category:Things you'll find wandering the streets of New York City
Teenager Constitution

:Drafted and laughingly rejected like, totalty passed into the congress by As Def Jekel.
The Teenager Constitution begins with the document that created teenagers across the world, the Teenager Declaration of INDEPENDENCE.
==Teenager Declaration of INDEPENDENCE==
We hold these truths to be self-evident (duh!), that all teens are created higher (than parents, and teachers, and officers, and the government, and their siblings, and each other, and the 'stupid' neighbours, and that "ignorant" person), that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Better Rights, that among these are Selfishness, Arrogance, and the pursuit of INDEPENDENCE (from parents, and teachers, and officers, and the government). -That to secure these Better Rights, Parents are rebelled against by Teens, deriving their just, ultimate, supreme, unyielding powers from the obvious knowledge that teenagers are always right (greatly opposed to the mothers are always right theory),-
Hey.
== Articles of the Constitution ==
Many of the Articals of the Constitution are the same as the Satanic Articals of Constitution but there are some major differences. The most important one would be, of couse, that teenagers are not ran by a single leader such as Santan but many such as Jeffery Star and,Jamie Spears. There is also 134,637 branches of government including Pregnancy pervention, Gay freedom, Gay bashing, OOH SHIT I WAS SO STONED THAT I FUCKED MY FREINDS CAT AND SOMEONE PUT IT ON THE INTERNET, How to masterbate properly, and so on.
== Bill of Better Rights ==
# Right to Be Right: All teenagers are always right, except ones who have the retard disease in which you are no longer affected by the Teenage Constitution but now under control by Joseph Stalin and will soon be injected by ape sperm to produce a super army of mutated apes in which Stalin will then use you in his brand new traveling circus or prostitution ring.
# Right to Freedom of Narcotic: This includes prescription anti depressants and large bottles of free cough syrup along with some spam cooking spray.
# Right to Carry Arms: All teenagers have the right to carry any weapon, which will be used in holding up schools and the committing suicide.
# Right to Porno: No more need to hide your sticky playboy under your bed anymore - time to jack where everyone can see.
# Right to raise the Highway Death Toll: Teenagers in a deadly car crash out of city limits now have no need to worry. They are no longer affected by the adult rules and regulations so let drunk teenagers roam the streets and other highly populated areas at ridiculously high speeds....Good riddance to future bad rubbish.
50 points if you hit the mother with the pram!
Category:Politics
Category:Teen Angst
Teens-4-Christ

Teens-4-Christ (IPA /ʃɪt/ Audio (U.S)) is a monolingual, forum-based project operated by Christians, for Christians. The web forums are run by Randy Ross, who is the leader of a cult which worships Raptor Jesus. However, Raptor Jesus does not answer their prayers because they don't like gays.
==History==
In the beginning, the Earth was without form, and void. Then Randy Ross said, Let there be forums. And there were forums.
Randy was inspired to create the Teens-4-Christ forum after what he believed to be a vision from God. This was in fact a delusion triggered by a severely traumatic incident from one of his previous lives.
Afterwards, He created some ground rules. These would be known as the Ten Commandments. Randy Ross follows ALL of these. This is the reason he is respected in the community, and hated everywhere else.
:Now, 6000 years on, Randy Ross is still with us, making the world a worse better place.
==The Ten Commandments==
:1. Thou shalt not have the name of the Lord in thy name. Or thy maketh Raptor Jesus sad.
:2. Thou must be under 18. If thou art over 18 thou cannot be paedo'd.
:3. Thou art subject to the will of Raptor Jesus. This forum is owned and operated by Raptor Jesus. Any message that thou posteth on this forum becometh the intellectual property of Raptor Jesus and may be used as Raptor Jesus seeth fit.
:4. Thou art merely privileged to participate on this forum. Raptor Jesus may delete thy account for any reason. Or no reason at all.
:5. Thou art responsible for checking thy commandments. Raptor Jesus changes them randomly.
:6. Thou shalt not solicit. Only Raptor Jesus is allowed to paedophile.
:7. Thou shalt not perform copypastas. Copypastas are the mark of /b/.
:8. Thou shalt not support any other Jesii.
:9. Thou shalt not promote worldly media.
:10. Thou shalt not post links without checking with Raptor Jesus. It may be is pr0n.
:11. Thou shalt not post pictures without telling Raptor Jesus. Raptor Jesus wants the pr0n for himself.
:12. Thou shalt conform to the appearance of evil. Anyone may be watching. Especially Raptor Jesus.
:13. Thou shalt only use the words of Raptor Jesus when posting Scripture. Thou shalt not quote Oscar Wilde.
:14. Raptor Jesus is always right.
:15. THOU SHALT NOT POST IN CAPS LOCK
:16. Thou shalt treat each member with respect. Or thou shalt be told to fuck off.
:17. Thou shalt not debate. Or we will call you gay.
:18. Thou shalt love one another. And Raptor Jesus. Especially Raptor Jesus.
:19. Thou shalt let the words of your mouth and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable unto Randy Ross. This means that thy message must be racist and homophobic. If thy message is not racist and homophobic thou shalt be sent to Hell.
:20. There are ten commandments. See Commandment 14.
:21. Raptor Jesus is Raptor Jesus.
==Enemies==
Over the years Teens-4-Christ has garnered a large amount of enemies. Most of them are oblivious to the existence of T4C itself. They include:
* Ford
* Starbucks
* Disney
* Wal Mart
* Allah
* The Pope
* LongCat
* Grinpear - For Reasons Unknown
* TacGnol
* Rainbows
* Everything listed here
Category:Websites
Teh

"Teh" is a commonly used phrase in instant messaging services like MSN, BEBO and is often frowned upon when it is used too much. At first the word came about where the person writing made a typo and it was thought to be a funny/new word to use when typing to someone. It immediately became unfunny and overused like lol. 
== History ==
When people use the word "teh" they are often unaware of its deep and ancient history. The word "teh" started out as the word "amucTEHalha" which was a common phrase in ancient Egypt in their instant messaging service where they wrote on stone slabs and using 40 labourers they transported the slab to a friend and they would send it back. Then over time the word lost more and more letters due to lazy people and their typos. Today, it's now a definite article in the English Language (teh), along with its sister word, "tih".
== Danger ==
The word "teh" is the primary cause of the decimation of the English language. Eventually the h will be dropped and the word "the" will be known as "te" and then the e will be dropped and "the" will be known as "t". This would be a tragedy because people will not use proper English and the world will collapse and be destroyed. And I base this prediction on absolutely no evidence.
== Family ==
There are many common phrases that originate from instant messaging, these words may be funny the first time you use them in real life but after a while they just aren't entertaining and who ever uses them in real life is just a loser. A very close cousin of teh is "meh". Meh is often used when the person you are talking too is tired or doesn't want to talk back. It can also be used as an expression of "can't be bothered". For example:
Jim says: i went 2 teh show 2day wanna come 2morrow?
Tim says: meh
Jim says: i is teh sex bomb i is teh best
Tim says: you are a loser, i would beat you up but meh
Random Noob says: I 10v3 Chuck N0rris.
Tom Brevoort of Marvel Comics: Hitler is teh current president of teh Uniteh-d States.
==See Also==
*T3H
*lol
Category:Slang
Category:Internet
Telekinesis

Telekinesis, contrary to popular belief is not the art of hurling objects with your mind, it is actually a small town in Guatemala.It is also the bacteria that created the AIDS virus. It has produced many things that may (or should) have come from other countries or people, but didn't. A list of these is as follows: the Dali Lama, the word towel, several small foxes, chimneysweeps and your pants. Several more things did, but are not worth your time, or I haven't written about yet.
==Towel==
The Telekinesians did create the word towel. No really.They did. A man was walking along, with a bit of fabric, dropped it, got wet and then used it to dry himself. The fabric was in the shape of a T, and was then used to assassinate a small owl. Therefore T + Owl equals towl. QED. The e was added after protests to put e in every word. (Ite almoest worked). If you don't like it, well, sucks to be you.
==Several small foxes==
The Telekinesians were responsible for the birth of several small foxes, apparently reputed for their prowess in bed. The foxes then went on to infiltrate many public organizations, such as the creators of the OED, the Oscar WildeOscar Wilde Foundation, and the F'n U.S. government. They also got your local rotary club. The small foxes actual identities remained a secret. Except for one. You!
==Chimneysweeps==
Chimneysweep is an absolutely fruitless job. You fight battles for people up their chimneys using only an otter and a broom. You get no money, and dirty. On the plus side you go into people's houses and climb up their chimneys. A lot of sexual innuendo involves chimneysweeps, so don't mess with them if you want to keep your face.
==Your pants==
Your pants originated from Telekinesis. Do not get them wet, don't let them be exposed to bright lights and most certainly do not feed them after midnight
==Things I haven't written about yet== 
Finland and Telekinesian habits. Also the actual location of Telekinesis. Research them for yourselves, you lazy lout, and then write them here
hghhjgh
u
==Related Articles==
*HowTo:Backup DVDs...With Telekenesis!
*Psychokinesis
*Guatemala
Category:Pseudoscience
Category:Central America
Telepathy

Telepathy is the process by which someone can read the thoughts of other persons. For example, you are thinking of Charlie Brown. Well, you are now. This is another thing telepathy can do, it can transmit thoughts into the minds of others. According to X-Men comics, the use of telepathy causes a sort of wobbly purple halo to form around the head, though this has been disputed.
The term telepathy was first coined by psychic researcher Praho Fywiner in 1999, but pre-coined in the Nineteenth century by researchers using precognition. The phenomenon has been in existence for longer than that, however, since the times of Eragon. But prior to being named in 1999, telepathy was referred to as "thought transference", "mental radio" or "bullshit".
==Experiments==
There are two ways to test for psychic powers. Firstly, has the subject's mental abilities been the focus of a TV special? If so, then the subject is indeed psychic.
The second way uses zener cards. The tester makes a huge pile of these cards, shuffles them and looks through them one by one, while the testee tries to read the tester's mind. The testee traditionally sits behind the tester and promises not to peek.
==Uses For Telepathy==
A telepath could be the world's greatest salesman, diplomat, poker player, politician, psychologist, cult leader, con man, supervillain, superhero or detective the world has ever known. Instead, they make their money from psychic hotlines and appearance fees on talk shows. The reason for this has to do with the World Telepath Association's ethical guidelines:
* Do not use your psychic powers for evil, unless your name begins with a z, or you are named after a mental illness (Dr. Psycho, Count Phobia, Professor Depression, Senator Schizophrenia,
 etc).
* Do make espouse an ill-defined, vaguely hippy-flavoured lovey dovey worldview, unless the Pentagon is hiring you, in which case talk up the possibility of assassinating Osama bin Laden with a dowsing rod.
* Do not read the mind of Burt Reynolds. He deserves better.
* Do not work for a living. What are you, stupid? Oh yeah, you ARE!
Mistic Meg predicts that you, , will meet a tall, dark stranger and will then get raped.
==Limitations of Telepathy==
In spite of the vast powers that Jean Grey and Saturn Girl posess, they will never be as interesting as Wolverine and Brainiac 5, respectively.
Category:Science
==See Also==
* Tarot Cards
* Ouija Board
* Divining Stick
* Crystal Ball
* Dionne Warwick
* Chinese Fortune Cookies
Telephone

A telephone is a deadly offensive weapon, created by the Kazakhstani through the combined efforts of French munitions experts in an effort to suppress lesbocratic uprisings in the early 18th century.The telephone used to make phone calls was invented by Alexander Graham Bell-End.The mobile phone was invented many years BC by Adam, the first man to need it for constant communication between himself and God.
Research into the area of handheld weaponry has shown the telephone to be an ideal and easily-appropriated aid in nearly all facets of hand-to-hand combat. Rigorously documented by field-researcher Russell Crowe, the telephone offers the all-in-one advantage of a club, brass knuckles, ninja rope, garrote, nunchucks and (after extensive training and practice) a small grappling hook. 
Of course, these techniques are possible only with a regular corded telephones. Researchers into newer cordless models have so far appropriated only one technique, sarcastically dubbed "the brick". For this reason, ordinary corded telephones are still a popular choice today, both for homeowners and for Elite Masters of the Stoogely Arts.
One perk of a corded telephone is that it can be slammed down, though the person on the other end cannot actually hear the ferocity with which it was "hung up".This method of anger displacement has been attempted with cellular phones with a lesser degree of success.
==Ringing==
Recent research has indicated that the probability of a telephone ringing while you are listening to the speech of the ultimate god like The Stig or his fellow Stigs is frighteningly high. If you have a Nokia, make sure you have the original ring tone in force against him, then you will hopefully find yourself in Heaven happily ever after. If that doesn't happen, no one truly knows the moral behavior of the people in question so don't you go trusting me. Ask them, before anything sad happens. Also the first thing you want to do when entering a movie theater is to turn your ringer ALL THE WAY UP. Also they say phones can help you find your way to some ancient yedi who can tell you when your toast is ready.
In the 2000s, many telephones replaced the ringing with a short loop of instrumental music. Telephone ringtones are powerful triggers of memory. The slightly distorted, off-frequency tunes often carry an unexplainable familiarity, easily bringing listeners back to the old days and reminding them of the time when they sang after Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber. The realization usually comes rapidly: all those pop tunes they had loved were plagiarized from telephone ringtones.
==See also==
*Alexander Graham Bell
*Bluetooth
*Callgirl
*Cell phone
*Fax
*NTL
*Phone box
*Telepathy
*Telephone Voice
*Women
==Notes==
Category:Canadian inventions
Category:Communication
Category:Woman pages
Category:Vital articles
da:Telefon
de:Telefon
el:Τηλέφωνο
eo:Telefono
es:Teléfono
fi:Puhelin
fr:Téléphone
it:Telefono
nl:Telefoon
no:Telefon
pl:Telefon
pt:Telefone
sv:Telefon
uk:Телефон
zh:电话
zh-tw:電話
Telescope

A telescope is a long tube with specially-designed lenses on either end which allows a person looking through one end of the telescope to see things that are a long way off. It was invented in 1337 by Alexander Da Vinci, a polymath giant of the time. However, the telescope was relatively new and unknown at the time, and he was only able to sell one, for $300, to his own mother.
The telescope was initially intended to be used for long-distance communications. A person who wishes to communicate with someone else would write out a message in large letters on large sheets of paper, and then hold the papers up so that they can be seen by a person using a telescope. Hopefully, the person with the telescope also happened to be the person that the original person wanted to communicate with.
Unfortunately, the concept never really took off, due to the extremely low probability that the person you wished to communicate with would be looking at you through a telescope at exactly the time you were writing out your message.
The dream of long-distance communication was therefore temporarily dead, at least until the invention of the telephone and the Portable Badger many years later.
For reasons unbeknownst to much of the world, many people carry a telescope in their pocket, leading many to wonder if they are happy to see them. Some have speculated that people do this in case they have a sudden desire to stare at the Sun and blind themselves.
== See also ==
* Voyeur
* Voyeuse
fr:Téléphone
Category:ScienceCategory:CommunicationCategory:Not A Sex Toy
es:Telescopio
Telethon

Originally conceived as a non-stick coating for frying pans, telethon is now a programme on television in which guilty people ring up and pledge telephones to raise money for charity.
==Beginnings==
Telethons were started by Alexander the Great when he needed to raise money for his Persian campaigns. Unfortunately, seeing how neither the telephone nor television had been invented yet, he failed at his quest for funds. Luckily for him, the Persians (modern day Iraqis) were too busy wearing towels around their heads, wearing curly shoes and violating women's rights to fight back.
==The Golden Age of the Telethon==
During the Middle Ages the telethon started to gain more acceptance when tin cans connected by lengths of string came into use, making the telephone a practical device for the first time in its history. Henry V used a polystyrene cup tied to each end of a 400 mile long piece of string at the Battle of Agincourt (rumored to have been an "'arrowing" experience) to speak to jesters in court who presented a show aimed at getting the British people to donate money towards the war effort. Napoleon also used them against Wellington at the Battle of Waterloo but, as was the case when they were used by Charles VI of France against Henry V, they turned out to be a complete pile of rubbish.
It was only in the latter 19th century, when Tinky Winky the gay Tellytubby of Tubby Land conquered the evil and blood thirsty Dipsy which led to a union between the Four Whore Houses of Tubby Land, that the telethon really came into its own. 
Without knowing it, Tinky Winky had employed a Scottish nutcase called Alexander Graham-Bell to build a contraption that could communicate without wires (an Englishman called Mark-Oni-Wan had tried doing the same but failed). Graham-Bell had some success, most notably with drinking scotch and calling lakes "lochs," but one day he beat up and stole an Italian immigrant's work and began investigating its possible use as an instrument of torture. Whilst he was whipping 13 year old boys he suddenly realised that he could hear the cries of the boys through the cable. Tinky Winky was pleased, he could now communicate with his troops and the drafted in Autobots. The penchant of Alexander for crazy snacks gave rise to the name: Graham Crackers.
==Usage Now==
With the advent of television in 2233 famous leaders including Ming the Merciless, the Daleks and G-Man from Half Life could use telethons to garner interest from alien races to help defeat Earth (which we all know is impossible with Gordon Freeman, Dr Who and Flash Gordon to save us). The IB program also uses telethons to raise funds for their biological weapons, which shall be used to rid the world of people that are less "smart" or anyone with a sense of humour.
==People Associated With Telethons==
* Terry Wogan
* Noel Edmonds
* Joan of Arc
* God
* Mohammed
* George Michael
* Laura Bush
* Cookie Monster
* Jerry Lewis
Category:Television