nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Frayesh Lettuce

I browsed YouTube searching for commercials from the late 1960s and found a McDonald's commercial - it was the introduction of the Big Mac sandwich. My friend watched the commercial quite a few times and loved it. He was licking his lips at the site of the sesame seeds placed on the bun, topping the selection featuring a bun, beef patty, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, beef patty, onions and the middle part.
But when I viewed it, the commercial was different. The announcer was replaced with this huge man with blood oozing from his eyes and thin muscles. He said to me, eyes staring into my direction: "Don't buy this sandwich. It will give you eternal demons and gain you some weight, getting yourself a step closer to heart failure, which could lead to death, which could lead to being tortured by the devil forever. I am a demon myself," he spoke as he started licking the blood from his eyes.
As he went through explaining the sandwich, he was screaming so badly that my eardrums had been thrown out of my ear sockets. The mysterious person organising the sandwich was organising the sandwich like this: "a bun made from pulled out baby teeth with the bloody bits left in, two cooked lungs crushed into patties, special urine, dead plant, rotten cheese with eyeballs, a fresh pickle...with bones of a pig's ear, rotten onion, the middle part and the sesame seed crown that was instead a human's severed head.
I threw up all over my shirt, computer, and legs, feeling really out of place. I could feel the demons crawling into my brain. They were stabbing at the memory, trying to dig out all the good memories like the time I went to Burger King and licked the sesame seeds from the burgers that other people ate, whether it was on their hand, leg or on their thick lips.
Collapsing onto the floor, I went into a coma, only for it to be a dream that I had. I was relieved until - I saw the palm of my hand. The numbers "666" were cut into my palm, leaving the veins deactivated and blood spreading out from my hand and onto the bed sheets. Now I promise to never watch that commercial again nor go to McDonald's for fast food. In fact, I will never get fast food again. Screw that crap.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:EVIL FOOD
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Freakin' Creepy Rabbits for Christ's Sake

Lemme just take another sip of this blue label... {Sips a bottle of Blue Label} Ahhh. 
I have a bit of a story to tell you folks out there, listening to the True Capitalist Radio broadcast. And what I'm gonna tell you here, I-I don't even know if it's, uh, fake or not, but it felt pretty genuine to me. So, my son got me this DVD of something, and it was around late Christmas day when this was given to him. And I don't know who the hell gave it to him... But it was this DVD labeled Max and Ruby, and it had, like, pretty bad children's drawings on it of some dead eyed blob things; I don't know if they're drawn by my son, but it still looked pretty crappy in my personal opinion... And, augh, Jesus Christ... This freakin' DVD had like, 4 different episodes of this "Max and Ruby" cartoon. I didn't know what was going on with the tape, but a few hours later my son... Uh, my son caught this weird, like, disturbing picture of these rabbits with holes for eyes, and I was like, "Is this what my son is watching?" Are you kidding me, for Christ's sake? THAT'S WHAT MY SON WAS WATCHING, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! THIS PICTURE OF EYELESS RABBITS THAT MY SON WAS WATCHING ON THE FREAKIN' TV! And y'know, I almost got a freakin' HEART ATTACK from just looking at that damn thing. 
Now, I-I don't know if I'm a bad parent because I let my son watch this stupid tape, but whoever made that goddamn DVD and gave it to my son... Uh, I hope you get beaten in the balls with an acme brick, for Christ's sake.
Jesus Christ, eyeless rabbit video tapes that my son's watching at Christmas day on the next freakin' Geraldo.
Where the hell am I at? Oh, right, Occupy Wall Street...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Rants
Category:Shortpasta
Freaky BJ Bandit

This happened last night, you guys and I'm totally freaking the shit out! I was hanging at home on the couch watching Lizard Lick Towing and waiting for my girlfriend to get home. She works the night shift at Wendy's and usually brings home some yummy leftover nom noms (bonus!). I have gotten quite obese due to this but that's beside the point. I must have dozed off because when I came to I felt someone undoing my drawstring and sliding my sweatpants down. "Oh, sweet," I thought, "I'm about to get blown." I feel my girlfriend's lips wrap up the ol' ding dong and she starts bobbing away. She can get freaky, so I didn't find it odd when I felt a finger get shoved up my ass. "Ok, this is cool," I thought. I tried to get a glimpse of her but my massive gut made it impossible to see anything except quick glimpses of the top of her head. "Oh, she's a red head now, fuckin sweet." That's when she started getting rough with me. Fisting my ass and biting my swollen meat-pole like a wild hog. I was flailing all over the couch. Fat swinging, balls flopping. At one point I lost control of my bowels and shit right there on the furniture. She didn't stop! When I finally busted a nut I fell asleep almost instantly.
I awoke in a pile of filth and found that my girlfriend was coming through the front door. "Where'd you go so fast and what the fuck was with the fisting?" She was horrified and disgusted. "I just got home you fat, nasty bastard. What are you talking about?" Oh fuck. Her hair is still brown. That's when I knew I got blown by a psychotic red headed blowjob bandit. Guys, keep an eye on your dicks.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Freaky Frillish

I had just gotten Pokémon Black for my birthday.
Within A few days, I beat the game. Since I had nothing else to do, I went to Castelia City, took out the old rod, and started fishing on the island you catch Victini. within A few seconds, I got A bite on the line and immediately went into battle with A Frillish.
This particular Frillish was odd because it was black and red colored, and it was level 13. I quickly sent out my level 67 Samurott. As soon as I used bubble beam, the screen cut to black. When the screen reappeared, the trainer sprite was lying on the floor of the island I was on while a Frillish overworld sprite next to it. The sprite's tentacles wrapped around the trainer sprite and went under the water. The screen showed the trainer sprite being dragged to the sea floor by the Frillish.
Out of nowhere, the lavender town music started playing, which was extremely creepy since the music wasn't in the game. When the Frillish hit the sea floor, the music stopped and the screen faded to black. When the screen went back to normal, the screen showed A Frillish sprite with the words:
GAME OVER. YOU HAVE DIED.
I didn't play the game again for 3 days until I decided to avoid fishing on the Victini island, but when I turned the game back on.
A message came up saying:
F.
R.
I.
L.
L.
I.
S.
H.
K.
I.
L.
L.
E.
D.
Y.
O.
U.
A question came up asking:
Do you wish to return to the game?
I was given a "Yes" or "No" option and I chose "Yes". I was returned to the Victini island. The island was quite off. The lavender town music was being played in a distorted tune until after I left the island. When I entered Castelia City's gym, it was pitch black and a Darkrai overworld sprite was in the middle of the screen.
When I got near the sprite, A battle started with the same Frillish. It was still level 13. Unfortunately, my Oshawott was too scared to move, and the Frillish made the first attack.
A message came up saying:
FRILLISH used DEATH SPELL!
I knew Death Spell wasn't a real attack, but when the Frillish used the attack, my Samurott fainted immediately. The same thing happened to my Musharna, Simisage, and Watchog. The screen cut to black, again. When the screen came back up, the Frillish appeared; It's eyes were bleeding and an ear-splitting scream was coming from the DS. I screamed in terror and snapped the game in half.
The next day, I bought Pokémon White.
I will never play Pokémon Black again for as long as I live.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pokemon
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Old Shit
Freaky Sonny 2

It was getting late and I was bored so I decided to play some Sonny 2 and lately I have been trying to beat Heroic and I used other people's builds. At that time I forgot what was in the Hydraulic skill tree and I wanted to try and make my own Heroic build (which I would probably fail on). Anyway I followed the Kongregate link to Armor Games and here's where it gets weird.
Everything was normal but the loading screen took longer than usual. I obviously wondered right there what the fuck was happening but I really wanted to play Hydraulic. When I started playing, the game seemed to toggle between screens without me pressing anything and repeatedly leading to starting a new save file. I chose not to have the tutorial and kept it on easy. Here before I could do anything it flashed between screens especially the pvp one. If I could click fight quick enough there would be 2 Sonnys level infinity with no skin and 2 unidentified attacks. If I went on the skill screen it would flash a few skills for the whole tree and the bar then close it. I eventually decided to do battles. The scary thing is with each battle it was only me (no Veradux or Roald) vs a copy of me (in the middle) the other 1 or 2 people in some battles are there. Also the game thinks that when any of the middle ones are speaking no-one is so it comes up with the information box. Basically through this is kinda panicked since the game was having a spaz so I quickly downloaded Hypercam and recorded this nonsense for about 6 minutes then I uploaded it to YouTube. The original title was clip 0001.avi but I added extra at the end.
[Video has been deleted by the original uploader]
With all that I wouldn't dare lie about what happened so that might be why it's shitty.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Old Shit
Freaky Wednesday

Bruce and Brice were 23-year-old brothers. Each one controlled one arm, one leg and one mouth. But both of them had two eyes. In case you have not figured out what they are, I will continue to describe them. They share a torso a neck and a hip.
"Why do you get to control the right hand, Bruce? I'm right handed you know?"
"Shut up Brice. I'm left handed and you don't hear me complaining."
They are Siamese twins. Or body-sharers if you are a dumb idiot.
Being the logical, right handed one that Brice is. He was in charge of coordinating their feet.
"Left, right, left, right, left, right." He said, taking a step every time he said left.
They were now facing the foot of their bed. Then they go on the bed with their feet at the foot of the bed.
Both Bruce and Brice were still fuming about having the wrong hand. Flipping each other off under the blanket so the other could not see while their internal mind voices whispered "Fuck you" repeatedly. Which the other heard because they can read each other's thoughts.
As they grew tired, they both said in unison. "I just wish we could switch places, just for one day. We would have a fun filled adventure full of hijinks like that really regular women from the yogurt commercials and redhead who is female." Then fell asleep.
In the middle of the night, two alternating piano keys began to trill up and down the musical scale. And from a birds eye view, translucent versions of Bruce and Brice floated above their bodies and began crisscrossing in sync with the piano keys. When the music stopped Brice's translucent form sunk into Bruce's body and Bruce's translucent form sunk into Brice's body. But you wouldn't be able to tell which one was which because they are identical twins.
The next morning, Bruce and Brice wake up. They look up to see the ceiling had moved. Wait no, the ceiling hadn't moved. They had. They both pop up and look at each other inside each other and started screaming at each other. They continued to look at each other and scream like two guys who just drove a car off a cliff together.
They walked all the way down the stairs like this and did not stop until they were sitting at the breakfast table. Brice went to pick up the cereal box but backhanded it over instead.
"I'm not use to my hand facing that direction."
Bruce went to pick up the milk but spilled it all over the place because he sucks at using his new hand.
"I'm sorry I said I wanted to switch sides" cried Bruce.
"I'm sorry too" said Brice.
And then in unison they both say "I want to switch back to my body like Jamie Lee Curtis in that one movie. I'd be Jamie Lee Curtis. No, I'd be Jamie Lee Curtis."
Nothing happened. They both stayed in their new body and struggled to pick up spoons because they are not used to their thumbs being on the opposite side of their hand.
Turns out Brice was not right handed and Bruce was not Left handed after all.
These freaky events took place on a Wednesday...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Fred Durst: The Eight Pages

It was just another day of my life, playing video games, isolated by myself. Until I thought to myself, "I want to play some Slender: The Eight Pages mods because Nostalgia. Fuck it." So I looked up some Slender mods and found one that looked interesting. It was called Fred Durst: The Eight Pages. Just for the record, I'm a HUGE Limp Bizkit fan. Much like everyone else, amiright? So I downloaded it immediately. When I tried opening the game, a pop up warning screen popped out. It said, "URGGG! YOU WANNA PLAY THAT GAME BITCH?" it gave me two options, "Yes!" or "fuck you" I chose Yes! and it continued to the main screen of the game. 
The main screen showed a spooky image of SlenderDurst in a dark, ominous forest. I was intrigued and pressed the starfish shaped start button. The screen turned black and my computer made some fucked up noises. At that moment, I was sucked into the game world! I opened my eyes and I was in the shitty looking forest from Slender. Of course I was scared but I knew what I had to do, win the game to win my depressing life back. I walked around for a few minutes and found my first page, it depicted Fred holding a chainsaw with blood all over it. When I grabbed it, A deafeningly loud "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! INTRODUCING THE CHOCOLATE STARFISH! AND THE HOTDOG FLAVORED WATER!" came from the middle of the forest. I knew that SlenderDurst had spawned in the map...
I ran towards an abandoned truck and found another page, it was just one of the original Slenderman pages but Fred's face was sloppy placed on it with scotch tape. When I picked it up, another unbelievably loud announcement was made, but this time it was deep and demonic. "Keep on rollin' baby!" suddenly, SlenderDurst appeared behind me and whispered, "That's 46 fucks in this fucked up rhyme." before putting me in a full nelson. He killed me by shoving his microphone into my skull. As I laid on the dirt road bleeding to death, SlenderDurst leaned over my dying body and scoffed, "damn, only two fuckin pages? You suck ass at this." before I bleed out.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Excessive Profanity
Category:Im died
Category:PROOF DAT SLENDURMAN EXUSTS
Category:Shortpasta
Freddy Crowbar

I have been having a lot of bad dreams lately, one with a mysterious man who stalks me wherever I go, waiting for me to use the bathroom to do his dirty work... He likes to hide in cow manure and smear it on his crotch while watching his victims stray in their dream, lost, and confused. 
His world is massive, filled with glitter filled cow turds and maniac pandas. I came across one of those pandas, he was ferocious, scary, and tried his best to get in my pants trying to get after my bone, but I said no... And no, means no!
Freddy enjoyed watching his victims suffer as they ran around frantically trying to find the bathroom. Little did they know, crowbar was lurking around every corner, out of sight as they ran by him screaming "I THINK I SHARTED! I THINK I SHARTED! SOMEONE HELP I THINK I SHARTED!"...they should not have asked for help, for the one thing Freddy enjoyed most of all, was taking his crusty crowbar and wiping his victim's ass with it till they died. 
I had a run in with Freddy as well, after bumping into him in person, he stared at me as I walked away, walking behind me at a relatively safe distance, scratching his balls with that crowbar faster and faster as he got closer to me, till he was right up against me violently scratching so hard I could feel it on my stomach. He then whispered in my ear "Ir... have crabs"
I freaked out and turned around, only to see dog crap in front of me, which I unknowingly stepped in. I went to sleep that night, not knowing what to think. I had a dream where I desperately needed to use the bathroom, and heard whispers in the darkr... It was him, he was stalking me, I didn't know what he wanted but I eventually found the bathroom.
I dropped my pants, and proceeded to let out the biggest #2 known to history, it was as if 3 bunnies took a dump simultaneously, which they didr... right in front of me, as I was using the bathroom.
I then felt something brush against my bottom, it was cold, like ice, sharp, like a pillow, and was scraping away the glitter filled chunks from my anus. I eventually died of embarrassment, You are not actually reading this, your brain is channeling your inner dumbass and posting my shit on your computer/tv/xbox.
You will be stalked next by the horrifying ass wiper... and you will know my pain
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Im died
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Freddy Fazizzlebear's Pizzizzleria!

Welcome, ta Freddy Fazbearss Pizzaria! A magical place fo' lil playas n' grown-ups alike, where magic n' fantasy come ta game biaaatch! If we catch yo' ass fuckin' up some shit, we be like, "Eyy, our phat asses didn't do dis shiznit man."
Thatz what tha fuck tha fuck they holla'd anyway...
This all started on tha 69th October, 1969. I needed a lil' bit of chedda, jist ta pay off mah meth-bill ta tha pimp daddy. I saw some advertisement wit some creepy fucker as tha photo, sayin dat I had ta peep dat shitarse or something. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Seemed easy as fuck  as fuck  enough.
I took up tha thang, went tha fuck tha fuck into mah Office, n' gots locked n loaded ta start mah first night on watchin dis muthafuckas ass.
Some nizzle came along n' holla'd dat I had ta be careful or something.
K.
I was chillin there fo' 38.43 minutes n' gots bugged up as fuck. I whipped up mah MP3 n' played mah phat playa Lil' Weezy. Da jam was so intens  dat I just had ta start tokin some weed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I looked all up in tha cameras a  one of tha sneaky fuckers was gone. I laughed, n' went up tha door of mah crib.
Dat shiznit was so fuckin dark I had ta take LSD, just ta kick thangs off. I vomited over some lil kidz picture of his thugged-out ass n' a gangbangin' funky-ass bear cookin meth.
Shiznit, tha LSD was so phat I was seein bunniea tryin ta shove a cold-ass lil cold-ass lil costume up in mah dirty ass. I was just like, "Woah, fucknut. Calm tha shiznit man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sit down n' let's... like... smoke n' stuff."
Some time later.
"Holy dope baby Poseiden I be baked off mah tits." Da bunny holla'd.
"I know... wait... did you say... unicorn, cuz onez right behind yo thugged-out ass."
"Oooh, Chica girrrl come smoke shiiiit..."
"I be shartin up fuckin sprinklez man..." I complained. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I need ta bounce tha fuck out... bake vomit or something."
I stumbled over ta tha toilets n' vomited over tha floor.
"Shiznit, one of mah thugs clean up dis peanut crap."
A costum rocked up.
Oh... is you tha sticky-icky-ickylord?"
It just laid there... motionless.
"Come here."
I jumped tha fuck tha fuck into tha suit n' strutted back ta tha westside hall.
"Hey... muthafuckas... I be tha sticky-icky-ickylord n' shit..."
They all laughed they baked asses off.
We all sharted sprinklez n' fucked off ta Dopeville.
Da end.
Category:Ghetto Talk
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:NSFW
Category:Trollpasta
Freddy Freaker

Does anyone remember the Freddy Freaker hotline that was in service between the late '80s to the mid '90s? I do, and I will never forget it.
One fateful day, I was watching MTV. It was the usual. Crappy pop music videos, and specials about heavily dressed rockstars that seemed almost like a bizarre parody of AC/DC. During the commercial break, the screen cut to black, or rather, very dark gray. Strangely, there was a line of blue at the bottom, and the screen was littered with white dots. I heard several snare drums, and a voice say "It's the freak phone, and here's the party freak!" The screen flashed white, and then a yellow creature appeared on the screen and roared. I was mesmerized. I was thinking to myself, "This is the greatest thing ever made!", but I was very, very wrong.
The creature started dancing, and a phone number appeared at the bottom. I said out loud, "I must call that number!", so I took the phone off the hook and dialed the number.
I really wish I hadn't.
It rang, and I heard Freddy say, "This is Freddy Freaker!", although he said it in a pained, sad voice. I heard people shouting in the background, and several other strange noises I would not like to describe. A male voice said what sounded like "GET BACK TO WORK!". It seemed like these noises made Freddy break down in tears. He sobbed hard for a few seconds, and screamed at the top of his lungs "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?". The voices didn't respond. They just kept shouting, and in that moment, I knew that he fucked up. He knew that he fucked up.
Hard. I heard the rushing of footsteps, presumably all of the people in the background. I heard Freddy say "Oh shit!" very loudly, but it was nothing compared to the yelling. Freddy tried to get away, but the disembodied voices caught up to him. I heard the ripping of flesh and the gushing of blood. The people were ripping apart Freddy Freaker as if they were zombies. Then, everything went silent. It stayed that way for about 7 seconds, then I hung up. During the silence, I swear I heard someone whisper "2 Dollars a Call"
More than 26 years later, I can't forget. Just today, I called the number out of curiosity, and I heard the usual "disconnected" message. However, I still heard the voices and noises in the background.
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:WHAT A TWIST!