Texts

I received a text from someone but it wasn't me
You aren't me
Those three words sent my butthole puckering. Those 5 letters make me rethink my entire refinancing plan to pay off my kitchen composting machine.
At once I turned to my phone and pulled up snapchat to check it wasn't me. Low and behold this person facing me had freckles and blue eyes, I had no freckles and brown eyes. My heart started to race.
booty boom, booty boom, booty boom
"Where's my phone!" I yelled at myself.
A voice from deep within, it sounded like it was right behind my eyes yet I couldn't put a finger on it, said "Check your pocket and order door dash from Papa Johns since they don't deliver to our house." I winced, I couldn't possibly: the prospect was terrifying. I had $5.53 in my bank account. Yet I called them anyways. "Do you deliver to 5783 Scenic Villa st.?" "No sir. We only go as far as Pinegrove pl." My heart dropped, but I still had some eggs left. But I put them all in one basket and dropped them all when I got drunk the night before. I would have to pick the pieces of shell out of the mason jar I shoveled the eggs into.
At that moment I got another text.
The boy you are is not me
I replied with my hands shaking, but where was my phone if it wasn't in my pocket?
I texted "who are you"
Instantly i got a reply
who are you
Who am I? I asked him who he was, and who the boy was.
"Fuck you" I said
Fuck you
"No, fuck you"
No, fuck you
Lowering my texts, I reluctantly looked into the mirror in front of me, but I looked different. It's hard to explain, but it did not look like me in the photographs I have seen of myself. It looked altered, almost flipped. It's hard to explain, but it was like I was looking at myself in a reflection. The freckle under my left eye was on my right eye, and the scar on the right side of my forehead was on the left. I slowly shifted my eyes so he wouldn't notice. And moved from the mirror's line of sight. I eased myself back down into my chair and looked for my phone again, but it wasn't in my pocket or in my seat. I texted the man who was not me again "Where are you"
Where are you
"Tha'ts what I asked"
Tha'ts what I asked
"No that's what I asked"
No that's what I asked
"Where are you"
Where are you
"In my house"
In my house
Shit, if he was me but not me, then he must be around here, if this isn't his house but is, then he must be in my house, but in the mirror. Slowly I stood up and got the mirror off the wall. I used it to look around the house. I turned it around to look in front of me, but I didn't see anything. Then I turned it around to look over my shoulder, and he was right there. Quickly I ran upstairs dropping the mirror and hid in my room. I looked again for my phone once more but couldn't find it in my pocket, any of my pockets. I decided to call the man texting me. My burner phone started ringing from my night stand. I picked up the call and held it to my ear. 
"I know where you are!"
I know where you are
I held my phone to my other ear and tried to say something, but the man on the other end let out the most terrifying screech. It sounded like an alarm copying another alarm getting louder and louder in my ear. I hung up immediately and called the cops.
"Hello, police? Hello?
"Hello sir, what's the nature of your emergency?" 
"A strange man is texting me on my phone, he says he's in my house. He's been texting me all day and says he's me."
"Sir, keep calm. Have you seen him around the house."
"Yes I have, I looked in the mirror and saw him standing right behind me, but I ran upstairs and locked myself in my room."
"Sir what was the phone number he was texting you from."
"88409546001"
"Uhh, Sir, that's the number you're calling me from right now."
"Jesus fucking christ!" and I hung up.
The man was me, even without me knowing. I was who I thought I was not, and he was who he thought he was.. Me.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep