nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
John Goodman Goes on a Drunken Rampage

Gradonic: look i am sorry i flipped out on you we can be friends right?
Asdfpotato: wellAsdfpotato: my mind says no but my heart says ...Asdfpotato: well ...Asdfpotato: noAsdfpotato: (xd)
Gradonic: (ok)Gradonic: /me criesGradonic: /me becauseGradonic: /me i can
Asdfpotato: butAsdfpotato: i will give you some advice
Gradonic: k
Asdfpotato: collect 9001 box tops off of Asdfpotato cereal and win an Asdfpotato towel.Asdfpotato: collect three towels and win an Asdfpotato action figureAsdfpotato: collect ten of those and win an all expence paid trip to Windhelm to visit me
Gradonic: kGradonic: /me does exactly thatGradonic: ok here i got all the shit
Asdfpotato: i'm sorry but the promotion expired
Gradonic: dammeGradonic: *dammetGradonic: DedGradonic: oops wrong chat
Asdfpotato: k
Gradonic: kGradonic: great now this chat is ded
Asdfpotato: yep
Gradonic: I am jst hereGradonic: thinkin about jeffs butt
Written by the two guys who appeared in this pile of shit
Copied and published by Asdfpotato
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Unnecessary Sequels
Category:The Title Is A Lie
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Shortpasta
John Hand Cock

There once was a guy named John Hand Cock. He had cocks for hands and was bullied for his deformity. Every time he had to pee he would pee out of one of his Hand Cocks into the toilet. Whenever he went walking by everyone one would stare at him. One day he got tired of the bullying and fought back by using his hand cock piss to pee directly in the bullies faces. He was sent to the deans' office and his parents were told he peed on a few kids. He was expelled from the school never to return. He vowed revenge on the bullies and when he found them at the store they walked up to him and wacked him in the head with a soup can, what they didn't know John was prepared. He punched the leader of the bullies in the mouth with one of his giant hand cocks. The bully was sent flying back and was buried in a pile of soup cans and was then crushed by the shelf holding them. The two remaining bullies were standing there in total shock. Before they could even react John slammed both of their heads together which stunned them. They both had giant bruises on their foreheads, they were pissed and started to chase Hand Cock out of the store and through the parking lot where he peed out of both of his hand cocks. Now covered in urine the two bullies chased hand cock and tackled him to the ground and started to punch him in the face. Now bruised and bloodied hand cock grabbed the two bullies by the ears with his hand foreskin and threw them both into the parked car, the two bullies were sent into the side windows of the car. The two bullies now scarred, bruised scratched, and bloodied the two bullies were stumbling around stunned, unable to understand what just happened. John Hand Cock grabbed them and threw them to the curve, he question the two on why they bullied him and got him expelled. They said they were hired by Pablo, one of the stars of The old The Backyardigans TV show. They said Pablo thought that he was a freak and paid them $200 each to bully him. Just as they said that Pablo fell from the sky. once he fell he created a giant crater in the parking lot, leveling all the lights and cars. The last few shoppers in the parking lot quickly ran into the store in fear of getting annihilated by Pablo. John hand cock Peed all over Pablo and punched him over and over again in the face, his beak started to crack. Pablo started to retreat, John Hand Cock was victorious, he got his revenge. Now it was time for him to head home to a nice dinner cooked by his parents. 
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Wall of Text
John Jackson and Jack Johnson

Okay, what I have just seen has just freaked me out. As I walked into my house the other night, to find my mother on the floor, dead, without a head. I slowly lost my sanity, before I was cured by a physicist. But before that... I saw two giant men, 7'5" I'm guessing... walking away from my house. They looked like they were Confederates from the Civil War.
I saw them again, and they attacked me... they yanked at my head relentlessly, then they backed away. Probably because the authorities arrived. I caught a glimpse of their nametags - John Jackson and Jack Johnson.
If anyone is reading this, you are aware of their existence, and it is probably too late."
That was what I read... in an excerpt from an old diary. I saw them... John and Jack... and I saw them murder someone. But not normally. John ripped off the guy's head. Jack ripped out the guys heart, and switched the places of the parts. I followed them to a glacier, and they froze the body. They are coming.
John and Jack were originally best friends, but they accidentally killed each other. They came back to life as giant zombies, 7'6 tall, close to the man's interpretation from 1910. They came back wearing soldier uniforms, for unknown reasons. They kill people who have learned of their existence.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Beings
Category:That just raises more questions!
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
John Lennon Conspiracy Theory

It is a myth that John Lennon said, "Ringo isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles" but what if that quote was real and John Lennon tried to cover it up. John is a avid communist as we know through his music.
My theory is that John's dad is Vladimir Lenin, the name Vladimir means, "ruler of the world," he named his 'son' john because that means, "graced by god" coincidence? I think not. what I'm saying is that John used the communist police to change history and make it seem like his quote about Ringo was fake! You may be wondering the name Lenin and Lennon aren't even the same. Well Lenin wasn't even Vladimir's real name do you think we can trust him? His real last name might be Lennon! The Beatles are Soviet spies trying to take over America. The name "Lennon" means 'black bird' and is of Gaelic origin. Maybe Vladimir moved to Liverpool and had John, it can't be a coincidence that Paul had and song about blackbirds and that's what John's name means. The song blackbird is Soviet propaganda wake up sheeple. Black bird has 9 letters and George + Ringo are 11 letters. The Beatles did 9/11
John is Vladimir Lenin's son and the Beatles did 9/11.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:THERY
Category:Shortpasta
John the Killer (greentext)

> It happened when I was 19 years old.
> I had went to bed after a long day, and was just drifting to sleep.
> In the deep silence, I heard something that made me stir.
> A creak from my window
> I froze completely still, and tried to make out what made the sound.
> I saw nothing.
> I stood, and walked to my window, peering out into the street. Still, there was nothing. Another creak.
> I turned swiftly, but still there was only thin air.
> I paused, and suddenly heard a chilling voice from seemingly every direction.
> "You can't see me..."
> I started to run.
> Something tripped me before I could make it to the door, and I yelped as I fell.
> I could see him now, and he was terrifying.
> Although stout, his muscles were unnaturally large.
> His jaw seemed chiseled, and his eyes endless.
> He grinned and lifted me above his head.
> "YOUR TIME IS UP!" He screamed at the top of his lungs before slamming me on the floorboards.
> I could hear my spine snapping from the force, but I couldn't scream.
> The pain was too great.
> He leaned in, and placed his hand in between our faces, shaking it.
> "MY TIME IS NOW!"
> He fled through the same window he got in through.
> Since that day, I have been stuck in a wheelchair.
> The latest reports depict him with a large golden belt around his waist.
> God help you if you ever see John the Killer.
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Shortpasta
Johnny Test Dies

Johnny Test was walking the streets of Porkbelly with Dukey talking to him about how they would save up money for the new video game Johnny was excited about since his dad won't buy him, when all of a sudden a portal appeared in front of Johnny and Dukey. Out the portal came out Steven Universe, Finn the Human, Mordecai, and Gumball, They were holding weapons, Steven universe has a Sword, Finn has a Flamethrower, Mordecai has a Pistol, and Gumball has a Metal Baseball Bat. They Saw Johnny Test and walked up to him.
Johnny Test said "hello guys how are you doing in this fine evening" in a friendly voice. Immediately after saying that, Gumball ran up to Johnny and hit his kneecaps with his baseball bat, breaking them. Johnny immediately screamed in pain. Next, Mordecai shot Johnny in the Chest. Johnny Screamed again in pain. Mordecai yelled out to Steven Universe "Now Steven". Steven walked up to Johnny and slashed off his head with his Sword. Johnny's head rolled around the ground.
Johnny Test is dead
But it wasn't the last. The final part is when Mordecai yelled at Finn "FINISH THE JOB", Finn Pulled out his flamethrower and burned Johnny's Corpse with it. After the flames went out, everybody ate up Johnny's dark crisp body until there was nothing left but his skeletons. Dukey was there the entire time, with his jaw dropped. Steven universe, Finn, Mordecai, and Gumball noticed him and they burned him into crisp and at his body until his skeletons were left.
After that Steven universe, Finn, Mordecai, and Gumball packed up their weapons. Mordecai took out a button, and pressed it. They all went back in the Portal. A sound of Missles unleashed from the sky, Missle landed and BOOM, an explosion occurred and a mushroom cloud appeared. Porkbelly is now destroyed, EVERYBODY IN PORKBELLY DIED, THE CITY IS NO MORE.
STORY WILL BE CONTINUED...
Next Installment
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Shortpasta
Johnny the Emo Skeleton

Johnny the Emo Skeleton was very mad and upset because his female friend from work refused his Facebook friend request. He went home and turned on his webcam and complained a little bit and uploaded it to YouTube. Then he ordered a pizza, but that's when things got really scary.
It was Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance, instead of a normal pizza guy! He had eyeliner running down his cheeks and onto his knees and cock. At first it appeared that he had feces spread all over his cheeks, but it was actually pudding. He was probably seeking comfort foods. His wee-wee had a tattoo of Neil Patrick Harris dressed up like Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince eating a taco made out of Spongebob Squarepants.
"This is My Girlfriend Left Me Pizza Pie Special!", Jerry Seinfeld, I mean, Gerard Way exclaimed. He looked... disheveled. He shoved his penis into Johnny's mouth, who gagged and spat it out after taking a bite.
"I thought I ordered pepperoni pizza.", Johnny started. Then he opened the pizza box and examined the toppings and he SHRIEKED IN HORROR!!!!!!!!!
On the pizza was used lady's sponges, mascara, toothpaste smears, eyelashes, and highly realistic gore, and the piece of penis he spit out that teleported into the box.
"Your girlfriend left you because you killed her!!!!!". Johnny's eyebrows tensed, other than that he didn't have eyebrows. Gerard Way laughed and prepared to strike with the razor he normally used to cut himself.
It was pointless, because Johnny the Emo Skeleton was a skeleton and didn't have any hair! Johnny ran to the phone and dialed 911. Then a beautiful baby deer walked past his window and he admired her, so the 911 lady gave up and hung up the phone. Then she masturbated at her desk to thoughts of Justin Bieber and Rosie O'Donnell, but that's for another day.
Jerred cut the wire to the phone, because skeletons can't get a job so Johnny still used a 90s cord phone. Johnny used to work at KFC until PETA threw blood at him and he ate all the blood even though it was actually a new topping for chicken.
"Why do you want to fight me, Gerald? I like emo too. Because we like the same music, we should be friends."
Gerry's face tensed. A vein was about to pop out of his forehead. His eyes became bloodshot.
"I am not emo!", Gary screamed. It was so loud that it ripped open a hole in the space-time continuum. Hyper-realistic blood poured out of all the dead people who went to Heaven.
"... Uh oh." Johnny muttered. He knew The World Was Over.
A giant chicken wearing a PETA shirt fell on the house and it smashed everyone and they died.
The end.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Skeletons
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:YT Readings
Johnson and His Lazers

"There was a boy named Johnson."
"Johnson wasn't "normal""
"He had the habit of grabbing sharp objects and staring at them for hours."
"and due to that he has several eye surgeries"
"These eye surgeries weren't your usual eye surgeries"
"these were special, but how you might ask?"
"They were done through his ass."
"Because of these 'special' eye surgeries, Johnson could see things other people couldn't."
"Johnson could see the future, he could see how people died"
"He was the cause of most of them."
"This wasn't a surprise, considering how his eyes were now connected to his ass."
"The frustration of not being able to see made him angry."
"so he pushed Sally off a cliff"
"So, one day, he left for a deserted island."
"He hovered there using his ass lasers".
"He killed lots of fish along the way"
"He eventually reached the island using his ass lasers."
"Finally, he made it to the island, at the cost of his arms."
"Waddling on the island ass-first, he stumbled upon a cave."
"The cave was surprised at Johnson's butt-lasers."
"The people of the cave worshiped Johnson and his ass-lasers."
"Eventually, Johnson died of starvation, having not fed his hungry orifice in days."
This story was created by the bored denizens of the CPW Chat.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Collab
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Jokepaul.exe

== THE TERRIFYING TALE ==
Guys something truly scary happened i don't know what sick demented fuck would do this but i have to tell this disgusting story i have to get it off my chest one day i had heard that vs paul leps fnf mod was updated i was was excited to play the new mod when i download it it was a exe called jokepaul.exe when i launched it it sent me right into ip address so i begain playing ip adress ip adress was remixed in g major i just ignored it and thought they ruined ip adress so people would play the the actual week. Then joke paul did something werid he dropped his mic in the middle of the song he put his hands behind back and went from being the angy fucker to having a much much more maniacal expersion or atleast i think he doesn't have a fucking mouth. And then he begain to speak to me in the normal joke paul voice but it was much more scary despite the the fact it didn't change in the slightest and said to me. "can't wait to see you treat this like satan appeared and told you that you're going to hell" which horrifying me to the put where i need clean pants and then turnned grey and said "i mean i haven't even done anything remotely scary yet" as the background turned to static. and then i started to puke up blood as the screen turrned into a close up of dead animals as the lavender town theme played backwards. I could feel my body changing large metal spike begain to tear out from my body as my ip adress begain to appear on my walls and the last thing i remember before passing out was hearing the evil joke paul say "GET DOXXED MOTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" as i blacked out. When i woke up i was in a hospital with a doctor walking into the room when i asked him what happened he said that my body begain to manifest metal spikes because i was being racist online and harassing little girl online i had no idea what he ment i guessed jokepaul hacked my accounts. i am writing this to you now as i don't have much time left as my tv has been displaying static and it's starting to leak out
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:File Extensions
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Wall of Text
JonTron Diner Incident

I saw JonTron at a diner in New York. I was on vacation up there when I stopped for a little something to drink. I'm not really sure why he was there, and I didn't quite recognize him at first, but I did a quick Google search to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing.
Jon bent over the counter, shouting into this poor girl's face about a coffee he was (or wasn't?) served.
"This is bullshit. You think this is fucking coffee? TASTE IT!" He splashed the scalding hot coffee onto her face, "Tell me if this tastes like something you'd drink, you fucking stupid BITCH." He pulled her hat off her head and poured the rest of his coffee down her hair and she screamed in pain-- which I think is definitely an assault charge-- and walked over to the little sandwich cooler.
He picked up maybe five or six chicken paninis and said, very matter-of-factly, "I'm taking these now."
He sauntered out of the diner, his hands covered in coffee and full of chicken. He did one of those middle school shoulder bumps into me on the way out and said, "Get the fuck out of my way, grommet! ECCCCCHHHHHH!"
All in all, it was a pretty swood day.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Jonas.exe

tis is a storii ritten by idk
hello this is a prequal to sonic.exe and its my first creppypasta so please dont judge me too bad ok lets begin ive actully never played any sonic game before beside the first one on sega genesis and i hated it as time passed games were getting more boring for every year in my opinion i was totally bored of all my games i had nothing to do since i almost never go outside i had 40 dollars on my psn account and saw the first sonic game that i hated but i also saw sonic 2 and 3 for 4 bucks each i decided to buy 2 and when the game started i saw a yellow fox with sonic i thought you could play as him but you couldnt and he was useless =_= anyway the game was actully pretty good and i liked it but the final boss was hard! anyway i then buyed sonic 3 and when i downloaded it always stopped at 66% i thought this was strange and was angry that i couldnt download it no matter what i payed for it after all atleast thats what i thought when i looked at my wallet amount it was 666 bucks! i was both happy and crepped me out i then saw that sonic 1 was on my games list but thats strange i didnt but it or did i? ive decided to play it anyway and then when i started it the start screen was sonic like always nothin different except.... NAH just kidding the screen was normal but green hill zone was different and i mean a lot sonic was taller and green hills zone graphics was so good for an old game until i finally realized it was sonic 4 ep1 what?! but how then i heard some noise behind me i looked back nothing was there but when i looked at the game it was the original sonic 1 again i still decided to play it and there was no enemy there only sonic controlled normal but no enemy at all and no other obstacle i said it this is boring and lame! sonic then looked at the player like he does if you wait 3 minutes on sonic cd he then said im outa here! and jumped and the game over screen came but it was not normal it was red instead of white i then turned off my ps3 and took a nap shortly after i had a horrible dream i dont even remember it and my computer just turned on i woked up scared and inside it was a cd out of curiosit i open it and it was that damn first sonic game again but for just 1 split sec sonic eyes were red and the sea turned blood red i played the game and i think you know the story no there was no sonic flushie but i heard a voice sonic*s voice saying over and over again pay me forward.
i asked him
-why are you doing this!?
and then sonic said
-why? because of you jonas you insulted me you humiliated me!
-how did i humiliate you??
then sonic said with that horrible grin on his face kyle kyle kyle i then remember i had a friend named kyle i... i had no choice i sended the cd to kyle and a letter saying that he should get rid of the disc or else he will haunt you too...
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:Sonic
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:English Class Failure
Jonny the Hell Keldeo

I love Pokémon. I loved pokemon since red and blue. I still do now My new favorites are black and white, but never got a legendary pokemon in any of my games. So when I heard about keldeo event I got so exticed. I took the bus to get gamestop so I can do the event, so when I recived the keldeo he already had a nickname his name is jonny. I began to talking to jonny like he was live; we became friends in my mind. But one day I forgot to turn off the oven and the house burned and the game with my keldeo melted way. And that's when the nightmare started to happen I dreamed that jonny was talking to me in a hell version of himself, It got os bad that I had to get a new pokemon white game and do the event all over again.When I turn on the pokemon white game it already had a saved file, I clicked on it and I was at Celestial Tower. there was jonny in a different colour, and dismissed it as a hack done on the game to make it that colour. But more I did on the game the more addicted;I became to play with jonny when he battle with other pokemon they would say they where dead. Also I strarted to feel like someone follow me. One day when I defeat all the gym leaders and the elite four, they said nothing when I beat them they just disappered. also when I finished the game I saw his face just like N's when he speaks to you. Jonny say: why have you done this to me, I throught you love me; now I'am going to make you feel the same pain as I do. So I writing this to you in a mental hospltal.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pokemon
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Jordan Peterson on Burger King

Okay. Okay, so, Burger King. That name is so bloody complicated, it took me like 3 months of non-stop thought to figure this out. Well, you look at it and you can say pretty confidently, 'King' that's actually an instantiation of a patriarchal mode of being, isn't it? It's like 'That's the typification of a fatherly figure that exists at the top of all possible dominance hierarchies'. I guess that'd be a good way to describe it.
But it's not 'A king' per se when you go to burger king. It's the instantiation of an individual as necessarily being the embodiment of the transcendent ideal of a king. It's a king, as such. The typified aspect of kingship as such is inexorably tied up with the word. And what does the typified father figure do? Well, he provides! Doesn't he? He provides food and shelter and burgers. Well, yea, that's bloody well right, it's who provides burgers. Exactly!
You know, you know, when Alexander Solzhenitsyn was in the gulags he thought about food a lot. And there they were given 10 ounces of bread a day and that's like your food for the day and that's it! And one of the things he tried to puzzle out, is in what way is life up until that point had been complicit in producing the soviet state. And that's a question that if you really tried to answer it, phew, man, that's, that's rough man. Takes you to a dark place. So I think think, well, no I better not. I don't have enough information to answer that competently.
All I can say right now is the degree to which we decide to patronize fast food restaurants that aren't instantiations of the sovereign ideal. It may have bigger effect than we think. You know, the world is a funny place and it's a lot more connected than we understand. Well, yea, that's, that's all I can say about that right now.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Memes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Category:YT Readings