M4 Sherman

FORD/GM/CHRYSLER M4 Sherman 	FORD/GM/CHRYSLER M4 Sherman
 	
New scene from Save The Willy. Tank..	New scene from Save The Willy. Tank..
Type 	Medium tank (USA)
Cruiser tank (Canada)
Place Of Origin 	Some country that did not respect blacks in 40s
In Service 	1942-1957 (USA)
1940's - probably present (others)
Main Armament 	75 mm gun M3 (M4-M4A6)
Secondary Armament 	various
Armor 	13-76 mm (M4-M4A6)
13-152 mm (M4A3E2)
13-108 mm (M4A3E8)
Engine 	various
Mass 	approx. 30 tons
The M4 Sherman was an American hamburger tank, of which over 49,000 were produced for some reason...
==Development==
At the start of World War II, the Americans had laughable light tanks like the M2A4 and M3 Stuart, or the medium tanks M2 and M3 Lee in their arsenal. The M3 Lee, perhaps the most absurd tank design in history, featured a tiny turret armed with an M5 37mm cannon that was barely capable of firing bottle caps, and a hull-mounted main gun—a 75mm M2 cannon—better suited for launching hamburgers. Recognizing the dire need for modernization, the Americans decided at the end of 1941 to task the company Murder with creating a prototype for a new tank.
The initial result was nothing out of the ordinary. The prototype featured a standard hull, a turret, and, of course, the same 75mm M2 cannon. For propulsion, the engineers opted for pedal power, requiring the crew to cycle furiously to get the tank moving. The armor was made of reinforced cardboard, providing just enough protection to block stray insults from enemy soldiers. However, one standout feature was its remarkable hamburger storage capacity—an impressive 135 units, perfect for ensuring the crew would never go hungry during prolonged operations.
When President Franklin D. Roosevelt was presented with the prototype, he found it rather uninspiring. Considering the precarious state of the war and the need for superior equipment, he issued an order to completely redesign the tank, demanding something truly extraordinary to meet the challenges ahead.
==Production==
Ford undertook modifications to the interior of the tank to accommodate a gasoline engine—a significant step forward that replaced the original pedal-powered propulsion. While the engine was far from a technological marvel, it at least managed to get the tank moving in a way that no longer made it resemble a caricature of an American stereotype. The main gun, the short 75mm M2The gun and it's longer counterpart, M3, was based on French pre-WWI Matériel de 75 mm Mle 1897 Field gun which was used also in Saint-Chamond tank in WWI, underwent a cosmetic upgrade—it was lengthened and rebranded as the M3 cannon, giving the illusion of a more effective weapon. In reality, the only changes were to its length and name.
The armor was slightly reinforced—cardboard was swapped out for a somewhat sturdier material, possibly recycled sheet metal from cans. Despite the fact that the tank’s protection remained largely symbolic, the Army decided it was “good enough.” Enthusiasm for this "innovation" peaked when the tank was approved for production. Perhaps this was due to a lack of better alternatives, or maybe the Army’s leadership simply didn’t want to admit they had nothing superior.
Production of the tanks began in 1942, and despite it being obvious that the design was outdated and inadequately armored, Ford, along with other manufacturers like General Motors and Chrysler, mass-produced them in staggering quantities. The tanks were sent into combat, where they often served more as mobile targets than as fully capable fighting machines. They remained in production until 1945 with little to no substantial upgrades, highlighting the Army’s desperate prioritization of quantity over quality.
== Combat use ==
The Sherman tanks first saw combat in 1942, engaging the Germans in North Africa. Initially, they proved quite effective, as the German Panzer II and early Panzer III models had frontal armor only 30mm thick—essentially reinforced cardboard. The 75mm hamburger launcher had no trouble penetrating it. However, later versions like the Panzer IV Ausf.F2 and G posed significant challenges, and Shermans began to lose their edge. Their 50mm cardboard armor was easily pierced by German Pak 40 and KwK 40 guns. Additionally, the Shermans frequently sank into soft ground due to their narrow tracks and were notorious for catching fire. Since they were first deployed by the British, they were mockingly nicknamed "Tommy Cookers."
To address these issues, the M4A1 variant was developed. It featured a redesigned, bakelite frontal armor with a more streamlined shape. These entered service in late 1942 but retained the same ineffective 75mm gun. A major turning point came in 1943 with the introduction of the M4A2. This model featured thicker steel armor, which provided better protection against long-range German fire. However, even this improvement fell short when facing German heavy tanks like the Panther and Tiger.
Further variants, such as the M4A3 and M4A4, were introduced with different engine configurations to reduce the likelihood of fires. A real breakthrough came in 1944 with the development of the 76mm M1 gun-equipped Shermans. These could effectively engage the Panthers and Tigers. The M4A3E8, nicknamed "Easy Eight", was a significant upgrade. It featured a new turret armed with the M1A2 cannon, which added a muzzle brake for better performance. The tank's hamburger storage capacity decreased from 135 to 116 rounds, but the new shells—"Big Macs"—were far more effective. Other types of ammunition included airsoft pellets and lead shot, which could even penetrate a Tiger's armor at range.
Approximately 2,000 of these tanks were supplied to the UK, a similar number to the Soviet Union, and an unknown quantity to the U.S. After the war, M4A3E8 and modified versions like the M50 and M51 Super Sherman remained in service. The British upgraded some of their Shermans to the "Firefly" standard, replacing the M3 gun with the 17-pounder cannon, which fired superheated bacon that melted through enemy armor. Some M4A1 and M4A2 models were retrofitted with Easy Eight turrets and M1 guns.
The U.S. retired its Shermans in 1957, deeming them obsolete. However, Israel continued to use them until the 1980s. Yugoslavia also operated Shermans, even deploying them during the Kosovo conflict. These tanks, despite their flaws, left an indelible mark on military history as one of the most mass-produced and widely used vehicles of the era.
== Variants ==
==== T6 ====
The T6 prototype was the birth of the Sherman family, and let’s just say, it was the ugly baby everyone politely pretended to love. Sporting armor thinner than a politician’s promises and a 75mm cannon that barely qualified as a weapon, the T6 was little more than a mobile coffin. Its drivetrain was so clunky that driving it felt like wrestling a drunken ox, but somehow it managed to stumble its way into mass production plans.
==== M4 ====
The M4 was the first Sherman to roll off the assembly line, and it showed. With armor about as protective as a wet blanket, it was better suited for scaring squirrels than surviving combat. Armed with the M3 75mm cannon, it could fire hamburgers potent enough to penetrate Panzer II and Panzer III tanks, which, to be fair, had armor barely thicker than a school binder. Against anything heavier, the M4’s only real function was as a moving target.
thumb|162x162px|M4A1(76)W delayed on D-Day for about 80 years... Somehow, they're young. And White...
==== M4A1 ====
The M4A1 introduced rounded armor made of bakelite and other questionable materials. While it looked sleek and futuristic, it provided all the protection of a cheap Tupperware lid. It was slightly better at deflecting enemy fire than the M4, but that’s like saying a paper umbrella is better than no umbrella in a storm. The nickname "Plastic Predator" may have been meant as a compliment, but let’s be honest—it was a joke at best.
==== M4A2 ====
The M4A2 saw a major upgrade with steel armor, finally making the Sherman feel less like a papier-mâché parade float. This version also introduced a diesel engine, which made it less prone to catching fire—but not by much. Against Pak 40 and KwK 40 cannons, the M4A2 still crumpled like a soda can, but at least it gave its crew a fighting chance in some situations.
==== M4A3 and M4A4 ====
These variants were marketed as "safer" due to their redesigned engines, which were allegedly less flammable. While they didn’t burst into flames quite as eagerly as earlier models, they still lacked meaningful upgrades in armor or firepower. Against late-war German tanks, the M4A3 and M4A4 were as threatening as an angry hamster.
thumb|166x166px|OMG FURRY
==== M4A3E8 ====
The "Easy Eight" was the Sherman’s glow-up moment. It featured a new turret with the M1A2 76mm cannon, finally giving it a chance to stand up to Panthers and Tigers—provided it could get the first shot in. With ammunition like Big Macs and high-velocity airsoft-like projectiles, it was at least somewhat capable of punching through heavy German armor. However, the trade-off was reduced ammunition storage, so crews had to make every shot count.
==== M4 Sherman Firefly ====
The British took one look at the Sherman and said, "Hold my tea." The Firefly replaced the inadequate M3 cannon with a 17-pounder gun, capable of firing molten bacon shells hot enough to burn through Tiger armor.All of us know, how English breakfast works. My experience btw. These tanks were so feared by the Germans that they were often targeted first in battle. The Firefly was proof that even a terrible tank could become a "corker" with the right upgrades.
==== M50 and M51 ====
The Israelis and French took the Sherman to the next level by slapping on a 105mm cannon, turning it into a post-war powerhouse. These tanks were used extensively in conflicts across the Middle East, proving that even a tank born from desperation could thrive in the right hands.
==== M4A3E2 ====
The M4A3E2, or "Jumbo," was the Sherman’s answer to "What if we made it so thick that even God would have trouble breaking it?" Its armor, allegedly made from "Stalinium", could shrug off hits that would obliterate any other tank. It wasn’t fast, and its gun wasn’t impressive, but it was so durable that enemy crews often gave up and went home.
==== M4 DD ====
The amphibious "Durex Drive" variant was a classic example of good intentions gone horribly wrong. Equipped with a rubberized flotation skirt, it was supposed to swim into battle. In reality, most of these tanks sank faster than a politician’s approval rating, leaving crews to rethink their life choices at the bottom of the English Channel.
==== M4A3 (105) ====
The M4A3 (105) traded its standard cannon for a 105mm howitzer that launched oversized meatballs at enemy positions. It was excellent for obliterating fortifications and infantry but utterly useless against armored targets. Still, it was a crowd-pleaser for its sheer absurdity.
==== T-4 ====
The Soviet-modified T-4 replaced the main gun with the experimental K-69 cannon69 mm, Shoots mixture of cum and napalm. This bizarre weapon fired a white, sticky napalm-like substance nicknamed "Stalin’s Sauce." The goo would ignite on impact, sticking to enemy tanks and creating a fiery spectacle. While it sounded terrifying in theory, in practice, it was as reliable as a drunk circus performer, often causing more chaos than actual damage.
==== Grizzly I ====
The Grizzly I was Canada’s attempt to license-build the Sherman, a noble effort marred by the fact that it was slower than molasses in January. Officially classified as a "Cruiser Tank,https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grizzly_I_cruiser Somebody is pretty stupid" the Grizzly had all the speed and agility of a constipated sloth. Its 75mm M3 cannon and armor were unchanged from the standard Sherman, meaning it retained all the vulnerabilities of its American counterpart.
Production was limited, and the Grizzly never saw much action, as even the Canadians seemed embarrassed to use it. However, it did earn a reputation as a sturdy training tank, primarily because it was so slow that new crews couldn’t get into much trouble. Despite its flaws, the Grizzly remains a quirky footnote in the Sherman saga—a tank that was as Canadian as maple syrup and hockey, but about as effective as a snowplow in July.
== See also ==
Tank
Panzers
World War II
Korean War
== Notes ==
Category:Tanks
Category:Military equipment
Category:Stupid
Category:Sex toys
Category:Stuff that lonely men masturbate over
Category:Stuff that God hates
Category:Stuff
Category:United States
Category:United Kingdom
Category:Canada
Category:Weapons of Mass Destruction
Category:Translation
Category:Racism
Category:Bat Fuck Insane