Revolt of the Tobeast ~ By QueenCreeps

Part One
Are you sitting comfortably? Good, then I will begin story the story.
It was a nice summer day. A young girl who went by the name of QueenCreeps was walking outside. On her quest to find the fabled Lum-O-Lotion for her skin, today she had set her targets on the Haberdashey shop, disregarding all common sense considering it's a fabric shop. As she walked her dog Fido down Koehler Road, she decided to take a diversion through a graveyard because why the hell not? However, as she looked around to see the tombstones and stuff, her 16 year old eyes settled on a figure in the distance.
It was a bespectacled man standing next to a tombstone, sobbing softly. After the part where QueenCreeps approached the man, she asked, "What wrong?"
The man turned to look at her with tears in his eyes.
"Don't mind me. My friend just died yesterday, I'm a little upset."
QueenCreeps looked at the tombstone. Engraved on it were the words:
Here lies Toby Mitchell, also known as Shadowwolfx500. May he always be remembered for his constant throat laughs and his dopey face.
The man introduced himself as Jacob and began to tell QueenCreeps about the incident that occurred the previous day, despite the fact that the two had only just met. It had all started when Jacob, Toby and their other friend Matt, were recording for their web-series, Bad Creepypasta. They had decided to invite Jacob's new roommate, The Chucked, to appear on an episode where they were to narrate "Squidward's Suicide, Hyper British Edition", but Toby refused to start the episode unless The Chucked put a shirt on for once. Angry at this, The Chucked stole Toby's mini eggs, causing an intense fight to begin between the pair of them. Jacob merely said "Fuck them" and he and Matt stuffed their faces with Pom Bears. All of a sudden, Toby, being the raging retard that he is, dropped his phone by accident. The Chucked snatched it up and pounded it against Toby's chest, shattering his chest captivity (and incidentally set four and twenty blackbirds free). Matt instantly called an ambulance, but Nurse Jackie Chan declared Toby dead, even after sticking a tube up his butt. The Bobbies were also called and without any investigation whatsoever, The Chucked was given a life sentence. Oh, and the police officer was called Douglas by the way.
QueenCreeps patted Jacob on the head and gave him a yam to comfort him. Grateful at this kind gesture, Jacob offered to accompany her on her shopping journey. QueenCreeps accepted and they went to Haberdashey together. When they couldn't find any Lum-O-Lotion, they went to Asda (Walmart) instead and bought some guns.
At four hours to midnight, the doorbell sounded but Matt couldn't hear it. None-the-less, he went to answer the door and let Jacob in, followed by QueenCreeps who had just randomly decided to follow him for the convenience of the plot. The two men began to bond with her over a dinner of bangers-and-mash. Hoping to impress them, she talked about all the top-notch benefits of being a 90s kid, but was soon slapped with a jellied eel and scolded by Jacob as soon as he discovered she had no knowledge of PJ and Duncan. After this, QueenCreeps stood up and found her way to the loo. However she couldn't find her way back out again as she didn't have a map. When suddenly, she saw something and screamed. Sitting on the toilet...staring right at her...with realistic (but not hyper-realistic) eyes...was none other...than...Squidward. Snarling, he held his hand (tentacle) out. It contained a piece of paper. QueenCreeps snatched it off him and read it. It almost burnt her eyes out as the message was typed out in Comic Sans, but she never-the-less continued.
Tonight I'll have my revenge. Meet me at Toby's grave NOW! Go to kip. Sincerely, Jeff.
When QueenCreeps looked up again, Squidward had disappeared. Thinking that he could have escaped through the window, she opened it and dropped down. But to her worst luck, she had forgotten that today was Tuesday when the concrete is replaced by pastry. She landed on the pastry and bounced back up into the loo with a loud thud. Jacob, thinking that Alexo had finally arrived to deliver the Ultimate Pasta 2: Electric Boogaloo, sprinted towards the loo and busted in. QueenCreeps was quick to show Jacob the note, and he decided that they should return to the graveyard.
"No Jacob!" QueenCreeps protested. "We don't even know who this Jeff guy is. He could be a fucking killer for all we know."
"Well I may be crazy," replied Jacob. "But I think it's Jeff the Killer!"
"YOU
DON'T
SAY!"
Matt suddenly exclaimed from behind Jacob.
"Shut your bleeding trap and go and get us some provisions!" Jacob shouted.
"Aaw, can we not just stay here and illegally play some Sonic R?" Matt whined.
"No, because emulators are for emulamers!" Jacob scowled as he went to acquire the guns he had bought earlier. Matt sighed and rushed to the cupboards and filled his arms with crumpets, scones, and beer. When they had finished preparing, the three of them jumped onto a 9 foot skateboard and sped off towards the graveyard.
A few shark-whacking moments later, they had arrived. Dropping their keys in a nearby bowl, everyone made their way towards Toby's grave. Sure enough, Jeff the Killer was stood there. QueenCreeps took a liking to Jeff's scary appearance.
"So, you've arrived," said Jeff in a rippling old voice. QueenCreeps stopped liking Jeff's scary appearance.
"You'd better make this quick, Jeff," said Jacob. "We're going to miss Doctor Who at this rate."
Jeff laughed a horrendous laugh and stated, "I don't think so, whippersnappers. My revenge will be total and without mercy. I'm going to torture the bastards who banned me from the Super Creepypasta Brawl tournaments for being OP. Starting with you!"
"But...why? We didn't do anything." Matt asked in confusion.
"Why?" said Jeff. "Because Sega sucks. And now I shall summon my ultimate weapon!"
Jeff reached into his pocket and pulled out a McDonalds Quarter Pounder Bwurga with cheese. He dropped it into a hole that had been dug in Toby's grave. A blind paralysing fear washed over Jacob, Matt, and QueenCreeps as the ground began to shake. Before Matt had time to eat all the food so as not to waste it before their inevitable deaths, a pale ha
nd reached out of the hole. Followed by another, and then followed by a tall and lean creäture. The three gasped at the horror laid before them. Toby had emerged from his own grave, with his skin turned white and his hair and apparently the rest of his clothes singed black. He looked like some sort of goth punk rocker who'd forgotten to put on his eyeliner.
Refusing to believe the bamboozling sight, Jacob shouted, "What are you?! REALLY?!"
Toby chuckled sinisterly and said, "I am everything that has been spoken of in frightened whispers...I am-"
"Fear itself?" said Jacob.
"No!" replied Toby, angered at the interruption. "I am-"
"The Tobeast?" said Matt.
"No...I-I mean yes...I-I mean...fuck off, Matt, you cunt!" Toby (or the Tobeast?) spat. "Now where was I? ...oh yeah, Jeff the Killer's bwurga gave me life again. And now, I've come for you!"
With these words, he pulled out a plastic fork and threw it with his bear hands. The fork struck Matt and his right leg popped off.
"Leg it!" Jacob screamed (no pun intended).
The three of them made a super sonic break for it, but it took a while for Jacob and QueenCreeps to realise that Matt had tripped on his good leg and facepalmed the floor. Tobeast was quick to approach him.
"Matt you fat fuck! You dropped all the food!" Jacob exclaimed in annoyance. Not wanting the crumpets to be crumbled, he rushed back and tackled Tobeast to the ground. QueenCreeps gathered up the food, and beer, and took Matt by his ankle, and ran. Jacob was stuck in a fight with Tobeast. He managed to punch Tobeast so hard in the face that his wrist broke, but Jeff used his OP skills to heal Tobeast in an instant. With renewed strength, he made Jacob feel the sunshine, which caused Jacob to pass out. Tobeast and Jeff then carried him away...
Part Two
The sun and a new chapter rises. This, my fellow readers, is part two of the thrilling tale.
After Jacob had a flashback of the previous events and dreamt about God's green earth, he finally awoke. He observed his surroundings with panicked eyes. He appeared to be in a large hall with the walls stained with the numbers "666" written in blood. Fire burnt all around him, and he could feel the cold and burning smoke. He could see a door directly in front of him. As much as he wanted to open the door, get on the floor, and then walk the dinosaur, he was currently strapped to a chair.
"Well well well!" Jacob heard a voice coming from behind him. "Looks like we've got some new meat."
Before he could turn to see who it was, the Beatles soundtrack began to play as a bunch of people ran in front of Jacob and made swaggy poses. Jeff and Tobeast were in the mix, accompanied by Squidward, Big Jane Lebowsky, Pasta Jack, the Media Giant and of all people, Alexo.
"Alexo?!" Jacob gasped. "How could you betray me, you wanker?! You should have your arse back home writing the Ultimate Pasta 2: Electric Boogaloo!"
Alexo rolled his eyes. "I'm done writing that shit for you, Jacob! I follow you no more. Now I'm with this gang of wizarding geniuses!"
They all flashed their stickers at Jacob, which all said Bottle Rocket Club on them.
"Welcome to the Meet and Fuck: ISIS Training Camp, Jacob," said Jeff. "Now since we're all renegades and suckers for punishment here, I punish me!"
Jacob glared coldly at them and said, "You can't do anything to harm me. I've had to read both of the sonic.exe stories and struggle through an hour of Bloodwhistle. I even had to live with a green false tooth once. I've been through the worst."
"Oh no, Jacob," Tobeast smirked. "We know full well there is one more thing, something even more dreadful, that you have yet to have grown a pair and faced."
Before Jacob could ask what it was, Pasta Jack grabbed a computer and set it in front of Jacob. Creepypasta Wiki was open on the computer with a story entitled "Cupcakes".
"...that's it?" Jacob said, chuckling sarcastically. But Pasta Jack shook his head as he plugged a microphone into the computer. "Far from it. For you have to record yourself reading this whole episode whilst...complimenting...PEWDIEPIE!!!"
Jacob's eyes widened in horror as a death-defying scream emerged from his mouth. He started to scream bloody murder and thrashed around in the seat.
"NO PLEASE!" he desperately begged. "I CAN'T DO THAT! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO ME, I'LL EVEN READ THE GORY PARTS OF SQUIDWARD'S SUICIDE IF YOU WANT, BUT DON'T MAKE COMPLIMENT PEWDIEPIE, PLEASE!!!"
Anyhoozel, you may remember that Matt and QueenCreeps were still alive and had managed to escape Jeff and Tobeast. Now they were back at the house. QueenCreeps had taken Matt to a hospital, but Dr. Ravenhill Cuckoo Esquire, donning 3D glasses and chewing tobacco, had sent them home within minutes of arriving, telling him that his leg just needed resting.
"So what do we do now?" Matt asked, resting his feet (or foot, I suppose). "Should we call the police?"
"Fuck the police!" replied QueenCreeps as she paced around the room, balancing a orange on her head because shut up. "We need to track them down and attack them ourselves. It's the only way we can save that asshat, Jacob. Because of him the day of all the blood is coming and if we don't do something then we might as well switch our crumpets for twinkies and move to America."
"Hang on then," said Matt. "I'll be able to touch me in a second, then we can take action."
At this statement, QueenCreeps looked at Matt with her face mirroring that of zombie Pikachu. Because Matt and his friends could never take zombie Pikachu seriously, he just burst out laughing at her. She stormed out, vowing that one day she would one day chuck the contents of a thing of bleach on him. She never came back. After a few minutes she came back, dragging the chuckling Matt out of the house.
Back at the ISIS Training Camp, Jacob was currently the equivalent of a crossover between a Joker reject and Eyeless Jack. His eyes were now gone and his ears had been cut off. In case you didn't know, that meant he was now blind and deaf (somehow). The Bottle Rocket Club had forced him through every alternative torture they could think of, such as cutting Jeff's smile onto his face with a knife which sounded like it had no reason, and even forcing him to press B for a harder quest. However, they were still not satisfied. They still wanted him to read the Cupcakes story.
"I'm fucking blind, you tossers!" he shouted (even though he should technically be deaf right now, but fuck logic). "How am I supposed to read anything?!"
"Oh don't worry, Jacob," said Tobeast, sitting next to Jacob. "I'll help out. You just sit there and be the second banana, complimenting PewDiePie."
Before Jacob could scream in protest once again, Tobeast pressed the record button on the computer and started to talk.
"Hello and welcome to a new edition of Bad Creepypasta. Unfortunately Jacob has contracted MML and has decided to let me take over. Matt cannot be with us today as a lifeguard mistook him for a beached whale and threw him into the sea. Back to the point, today we're reading what you've all been wanting, Cu-"
Suddenly a high-pitched noise could be heard, making the power go out and smashing the glass of the computer. The cheap £4 fire they'd bought from the market also went wet and floppy. A police siren could be heard, and suddenly Jacob could hear...even though he technically cou- never mind.
The door swung open and QueenCreeps busted in, screaming, "Oh yeeeah!", brandishing a gun. Matt hippedy-hopped his way in behind her, but the two weren't alone. From behind Matt, a lady English Teacher emerged whom they'd managed to pick up along the way from the Dr. Seuss School of Writing whilst she was teaching the kids to learn to English. She pointed her own gun and fired at the Media Giant. His newspaper body flew everywhere.
"Nobody interrupts, or guts will fly!" she declared.
"What is the meaning of this?!" Jeff exclaimed. "How did you find our secret base?"
"One word: Google," said QueenCreeps. "Now let Jacob go!"
"Not on your nelly!" said Big Jane Lebowsky. She pulled a dagger out and threw it. It pierced Fido's heart and he died. Matt burst into tears as Fido was the only one he liked in this story.
"You're going to pay for that!" he shouted in fury as he rushed up to Big Jane Lebowsky and stomped and pounded on her; pound pound pound pound pound! She fell down hard (it's funny because oral sex). Soon she lay in a crushed bloody heap. The other two began to open fire as a raging conflict ensued. Pasta Jack took an arrow to the knee as bullets were too mainstream for him, and Squidward grabbed the gun off the English Teacher and shot himself. As Matt went to free Jacob, QueenCreeps made the decision that Alexo had to stay alive or else the fans would be pissed off without the release of the Ultimate Pasta 2: Electric Boogaloo, so she let him run away. 
That left Jeff and Tobeast, but what could she and her companions do with Jeff being so OP? Fortunately, Matt has managed to give her the special magic words in case a emergency popped up. She pulled out her wand, pointed it at Jacob, and shouted...
"IT'S A BEAST VERSION OF OUR MASCOT!!!"
In an instant, Jacob's face contorted with fury the likes of which the world has never seen before. He gave out a mighty roar which caused every chair in the world to flip over, and he morphed into the Toffee Crisp Vampire. He struck Jeff with lasers and, with one gulp, ate him whole. He was finger licking good. Jeff's OP energy surged inside Jacob and he regained his sight. He turned to look at Tobeast, but seeing the sudden fear in his eyes and the puppy dog face he was pulling, Jacob couldn't bring himself to annihilate him. Toby was still undead, and in order to give him life once more and get rid of his ridiculous goth punk rocker appearance, Jacob would have to give him the power of the Toffee Crisp Vampire, ultimately ending his own life.
"You'd better write a Star Fox/Highlanders crossover if I do this, mate," Jacob sighed, emitting one final Kefka laugh before forcing his power into Toby (that's what she said) and collapsing to the floor, embracing death like a long lost lover with open arms.
Toby accepted the power and his shimmering blond hair returned. When the minute stopped, Toby and Matt began to make out.
"I love you, Matty," Toby whispered.
"I love you too, Toby(ey?)," Matt replied.
The two of them skipped off together over the moral event horizon and lived happily ever after. The English Teacher went back to her pupils that were hating to learn. And QueenCreeps finally decides to change the tense of the story and rates the experience:
9/10.
The End.
Category:Bad Fanfiction
Category:Loads of Characters
Category:MOTHER OF FUCK THIS PAGE IS LONG LIKE MY PAINIS