Just the Ticket/Transcript

[PHONE RINGS]
Arthur Read: Do you ever feel like you're the only one in the world who never wins anything? I'm going to the park now, Mom!
Jane: Okay. But come home by lunchtime. And...and can you get the phone?
Arthur: Ah! But then one day, just when you feel like you'll never win anything in your entire life, you do? Hello?
Disc Jockey: Congratulations! This is QRAD...
Arthur: Our parents say we can't take sales calls.
Disc Jockey: ..To receive this awesome prize. You've just won eight tickets to next weekend's Static Airwaves concert sponsored by QRAD.
Arthur: Wait! Did you say I just won? Well, be grateful for your bad luck. Because the only thing worse than never winning anything is winning.
[INTERTITLE]
Buster: No! That can't be true! You actually won eight front row tickets for Static Airwaves?!
Binky: That's, like, a miracle!
Muffy: What are you going to do with them?
Arthur: Well, there are eight tickets and eight of us.
[ALL TALK AT ONCE]
Arthur: Hey! You want to come home and wait for the tickets with me? QRAD Radio said they're going to deliver them this afternoon
[CONSTANT TICKING]
[DOORBELL]
Francine: Open it already! Come on, come on!
Arthur: Huh?
Francine: Math has never been my best subject, but that doesn't look like eight tickets to me!
Arthur: QRAD says the DJ got the number wrong. But the concert is sold out and I should count myself lucky to even get two tickets. So...
Muffy: So, who are you going to take?
All: Yeah!
Arthur: Um...Heh-heh! Well...now, that's, um .. Let's see, I, er...
Buster: You know what, guys, we should leave Arthur alone and not pressure him. It's not that big a deal, really. It's just a concert.
All: Yeah.
Francine: Let's leave Arthur alone.
Arthur: Thanks, buddy.
Buster: No sweat. I knew they'd all go nuts when you said who you were really taking. Front row seats! I can't wait!
[PHONE RINGS]
Jane: Arthur, can you get that?
Arthur: Francine? How did you get home so fast?
Francine: I know you're probably taking Buster, but I just want to say I was the first one in school to like Static Airwaves. You remember that day in kindergarten when I played their first single for Show and Tell?
Arthur: Muffy, too? Francine, can we maybe talk about this later?
Francine: Oh! OK, fine!
Arthur: Don't be mad, it's just that..
[DIALING TONE]
[PHONE RINGS]
Jane: Arthur?
Arthur: Yeah, Mom, I'm getting it. Phew!
[PHONE RINGS]
Jane: Arthur?
Arthur: Please, could we not answer the phone for a while?
Buster: 'Hey, Arthur, it's Buster. Just wanted to make sure you got that last message. OK. Um...yeah '
[BEEP!]
Arthur: Could you pass the peas?
[PHONE RINGS]
Jane: What, honey?
Arthur: The peas!
Sue Ellen: 'Hey, Arthur, Sue Ellen here. Listen, about those last 20 messages, I had another thought...
[CONSTANT BEEPING]
Arthur: OK, Mom, I'm leaving now for..
Jane: For where, honey? The park?
Arthur: Hey, guys!
All: Tickets! Tickets!
Arthur: No! The library!
Francine: I wonder where Arthur is?
[PHONE RINGS]
Muffy: Good work, Bailey. Oh, dear me! I just forgot, I have an appointment at the salon. Well, have a great practice!
Muffy: Oh! Hi, Arthur! What are you doing here?
Arthur: Er...wrong book.
Muffy: Oops! Hey, as long as you're here, I...
Sue Ellen: Oh, hi, Arthur. I'm just doing some research on Africa...
[BOTH TALK AT ONCE]
Arthur: Oh, sure, yeah.
All: Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!
Arthur: Argh!
All: Arthur!
Arthur: Oh!
Binky: Arthur! Are you okay? Let me help you!
Arthur: No! Please don't! Here, just take the second ticket. Take it!
Binky: Really? You're inviting me? Thanks! You know, I knew I shouldn't go in there and chase you around. Just wait patiently and you shall receive, that's our motto. What's wrong?
Arthur: The tickets, I lost them!
All: What?!
George: Whoa!
Francine: Buster, you search Fiction. Muffy, Non-Fiction, Sue Ellen, reading room, Brain, men's room, George, wake up!
Arthur: I can't believe I lost them! Wait a minute. Yeah, I lost them! Ha-ha-ha! I lost them!
[CONSTANT BEEPING]
Telephone machine: 'Messages deleted.'
Arthur: And whichever of you finds the tickets is welcome to keep them with my best wishes. Your friend, Arthur. And send to everybody and...
[HE GASPS]
Arthur: What?
Francine: Nothing.
Binky: Hi, Arthur.
Sue Ellen: Yeah, hi.
Arthur: Huh? What's everybody's problem.
Buster: Don't get mad at me, I tried to defend you. But it's hard to defend a liar
Arthur: A liar?!
Buster: You lost the tickets? Come on!
Arthur: Hey, George. Thanks for sitting with me.
George: It's okay. We all tell white lies sometimes.
Arthur: I didn't lie.
George: We looked all over the whole library and couldn't find the tickets.
Arthur: Okay, look, you don't believe me. Check my pockets.
[GEORGE WHISTLES]
George: Binky! Frisk him!
Binky: He's clean. Wait a minute!
Arthur: You want to go through my books now?
Francine: Unless you have something to hide?
Arthur: No, I don't. Now you guys see when I don't have the tickets I hope you... Oh! So that's where I put them. Ha-ha-ha!
Arthur: Hey, D.W., you want my concert tickets?
D.W.: And have everyone hate me? No, thank you!
Arthur: If there's a lesson here, I'm missing it.
Arthur: Please take free tickets. Wow! I feel like I have this huge weight off my back. Argh! No!
Arthur: Stay there! Stay! Stay! Ah! Whaa...! How did...? This is impossible
D.W.: Muffy's butler dropped them off
Arthur: Muffy's butler?
D.W.: Yeah. He said that...
[DOORBELL]
Arthur: No! Don't! I left them on a tree stump, I swear!
Francine: Arthur, we know.
Muffy: Bailey called me.
Binky: Then Muffy called us and...
Arthur: Wait! Back up. Bailey called you?
Muffy: The important thing is we've all been talking and we realized we've been unfair.
George: You won those tickets, we didn't.
Buster: And the very first thing you did was invite all of us. And yet we never even thanked you.
Francine: We think you should just go by yourself and enjoy the concert.
Arthur: Wait! I don't want to go alone. What fun is winning something if a friend can't enjoy it with you? Won't one of you come with me?
D.W.: I can't believe it takes a four-year-old girl to suggest picking straws.
Arthur: Wow! Look at...
George: A big wall! We can't see a thing!
Arthur: Well, like I always said, I never really win anything.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Static Airwaves!
[CHEERING]
Arthur and George: Whoo-hoo! All right!
Category:Transcripts
Category:Season 17 transcripts
Category:A to Z