Silent Hill 2: Assless Dreams

== Act 1 ==
I had been playing Silent Hill 2 constantly for several weeks now and have gotten all but the dog endings, so I decided to try go for the dog ending. I pulled Silent Hill 2 out of my game case, but I noticed something was wrong the case ,it was green, but I owned the Playstation 2 version not the Xbox version. I stared at the box, it said Silent Hill 2: Assless Dreams I was confused but I started playing it anyways. When I turned the game on it immediately went to the first time you meet Maria in the park, she said "Would u like anal?" I was shocked, I don't remember this. All I could do is stand there in horror as James said "Have you seen my wife?" Mary, I mean Maria said "No, she's dead" I was shocked, how did she know Mary was dead?
So I walked to the dog house to get the dog key, but it wasn't their. I decided I wanted to go get pizza so me and Maria went to the bowling alley.She didn't wanna go in so I tried hitting her with the plank, it didn't work, instead James backhand slapped her, I laughed my ass off. There I saw Eddie, he was eating pizza with hyper realistic cheese and hyper realistic pepperoni (no wonder he's so fat, too many hyper realistic carbs are bad for you) James asked Eddie who that little girl talking to him was, Eddie said "Her name is Laura, she's a really mean brat" He's right I guess she's a little ass hat.
So then we went to Heaven's Night, but the door was locked, Maria then bent over and stuck some keys in a hole, while she was doing that she said "u like my ass?" Her ass was hyper realistic, James was like "I'm looking for my wife Mary " She put the keys away sexily into her pocket, wait do skirts have pockets? maybe she put them in her butt, I thought I smelled something weird when she pulled the keys out...... when we got inside Maria jumped up on stage and started dancing like a stripper, now that I mention it, how did she have the keys to the strip club? Ah whatever, it probably has some hidden meaning like every single thing in this game does.
After James faped merrily to Maria's stage performance, he turned his head to see Pyramid Head fapping merrily as well, it was a wondrous sight to see. James looked confused, but mostly aroused. Not because of Pyramid Head or anything, Mary was still doing her show, freaking weirdos, Pyramid Head disappeared or something, I was too busy looking at Maria..... She then got re-clothed and we continued to walk down Carroll Street until we saw Laura run into the hospital, we walked into the hospital and looked around a bit. We walked up the stairs to the 3rd floor, and went into Room S3, why? because I could feel the power of James' boner making the controller vibrate, and it told me to go to Room S3.
I left Mary in the Room to sleep of that party last night, I started walking around the hospital but I didn't really find anything so I went upstairs to the roof, I read this diary about some hospital patient wanting to die, sounds like my ex wife *budum tsss*, then Pyramid Head knocked me off the roof and I died. I was pretty shocked, every time this has happened before I've survived, but I guess not this time. I got sent back to the main menu screen. The controller in my hand felt lighter, as if it changed into something else. I looked down only to see a PS2 controller, I then looked at my console, it was the PS2. Had I been hallucinating this whole time? Was I in the other world? What was going on?
== Act 2 ==
I pressed continue game on the menu, it put me to with Mary in the Otherworld Hospital. Why is the game always transporting me to a scene with Maria? So we were walking, I was smacking bitches up and Maria was popping some caps in some asses, but wait how did she get a gun? She use to have one but she threw it away at the end of her scenario. I checked my inventory and my pistol was still there, I exited the inventory but not before checking my bullets, I had 20 left "hmmm that's strange, I thought I had more" I exclaimed. As we continued on we found some rings, after that we found a door with hands and we put the rings on the hands and the door opened, well what else did you think it was going to do? 
There was a long strait hallway, which was odd, every time I've played this game the hallway was curved in several places. We ran down the hallway only to meet with Pyramid Head, I ran to the elevator cause honestly she dies either way. The elevator door was closing, James tried to force it open but to no avail. Pyramid Head stabbed Maria with his Triangle shaped dong, semen went everywhere (some even when on James' face). The semen was super sticky, almost 
too sticky....
The elevator then went down to the 1st floor, James was crying like a little bitch. Anyways, I got out of the elevator and went to the front door and left the hospital, I didn't even care about grabbing the key I've been doing this for weeks, the same thing over and over. James did his melodramatic monologue then walked to the Historical Society which was strange, who wants to go to a Historical Society? So I managed to stumble my way to the Historical Society, I was drunk off my ass after going to the bar with Snoop and PSY (man Snoop can drink) before I left though he gave me some good dank and some Mountain Dew.
In the Historical Society I found a painting of that red pyramid thing, the room started to smell of dank. I felt extremely tired.... I drifted off and slumped on the ground.
== Act 3 ==
I awoke in the labyrinth, sadly not the one with David Bowie in it, their was a white door for some reason. I opened it only to see Maria dead..... again. The room smelled of rotten flesh and stale memes, I had to get out of that room before I got sick. I opened the door to see that I was in the Hotel, I wondered around a bit finding a key on my way. The key was to the room me and my bottom bitch stayed in when Mary got *insert deadly disease here* so I went to it, only to find a dead body. It looked like me, which was weird I was like 5 when this game came out how could current me be in an old game. Then it all made sense, I'm just a fake, I'm the character, James is the real one, I am James, but I cant be James cause James is James and not me, but he is me...
For some reason I woke up next to the dog room, and in my inventory was the dog key. I opened the door only to see that the dog was replaced by Mary. A smile came across her face "are you ready ?" but she wasn't talking to me, out of nowhere I heard a laugh, a laugh I haven't heard since that fateful night....
"Are you ready?" she repeated, I turned to see him, his body filled with holes. "But I killed you !" James cried, "how are you here?" and that's when he spoke...
"The thing about sponges is we can't die, no matter how much you beat us..... we can die" he laughed again. Suddenly Maria pulled out a gun and shot me in the arm, I was bleeding severely but I didn't feel any pain 
My life flashed before my eyes, I was dead now. But then something happened, it was Pyramid Head he came to save me. He took me to his house and then we made the sex, we made the sex for days. 
After the week of booty pounding action his house was all white with semen, I went to go get a drink but then I realized something, Pyramid Head isn't green.... it was him, all along, he came to save me. It was Shrek,then I felt something running down my leg... it was blood... all the anal violation had torn my booty hole. I was dying, I fell on the floor dead. Shrek picked me up as I said my last words "I always knew my anus would be the death of me". 
Shrek screamed into the air "You were the chosen one, It was said you would destroy memes not join them, bring balance to the internet, not leave it in darkness. you were my brother Anakin, I mean James I loved you." 
Then Shrek through me next to the lava, and I started burning as he walked away. I passed out from the pain, but I awoke to see Sponge Bob..... he laughed and said "Rise Lord Dio"
Click here for the sequel
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