The Lost Boys- Scrapped Footage

Vampires. Evil, sexy, cliched, you can call them any word you like. But personally, I think vampires are nothing but cruel and manipulative bloodthirsty freaks. That's because of a movie that I once loved and cherished. The Lost Boys, a 1987 horror movie about a gang of vampires recruiting a new member to their sick gaggle. I wish I could take back the hours I spent watching that movie, and the content I stumbled upon. 
One day I had nothing to do. I had already done all my errands and chores for the day. I went grocery shopping. I got my nails done. When I got home, I did a load of laundry and cleaned all through my house. I did all of this in the span of 3 hours, and my husband wouldn't be home for another 5 hours. So, I grabbed a box of Goobers and put on The Lost Boys to unwind after my eventful but productive morning. The DVD screen came on but something was off. Instead of the normal ocean shot it was just David, the lead vampire, looking at the screen with an annoyed look on his face. He shook his head and said "Amy, you stupid whore." I jumped and threw the Goobers just below the TV. "Am I dreaming or something?" I thought to myself as David kept looking at me. I grabbed the remote and went to the "Special Features" screen. There, I saw an option for "Deleted Scenes". I was a bit reluctant after what I just saw and heard but I decided to watch the deleted scenes. The first one was the concert scene, but instead of Tim Capello it was someone else. He played the saxophone but with a lot of squeaking, which put the audience, and me, into complete turmoil. Then it cut to black. David and Michael were talking. And after about 2 minutes of hearing them talk, Michael screamed loudly and it cut to his bloody corpse. He had teeth marks and holes all over his head and arms, he was cut open and bleeding out, and David was just standing there, bearing his fangs and laughing. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I called my husband to come home, and he kept saying that he couldn't, and that I had to wait. "But this is serious, love. Something is wrong with our Lost Boys DVD!" But all I got out of him was "Darling, I'm working. We'll talk about this when I come home." I was frustrated, so I hung up. The "Special Features" screen popped back up and played the movie. I thought, "Wait. I didn't do that." as the song "Cry Little Sister" just played backwards. Just before the opening credits ended, I grabbed the DVD, took it to the garage, and smashed it with a hammer and threw the pieces in the incinerator. I thought that my house would never be plagued by this film again, but I was wrong. I heard laughing coming from the kitchen. I grabbed the hammer and took it with me to the kitchen, where I saw a man. A man with blonde hair and fangs. It was David, laying on the island eating my husband's leftover Chinese food. "Hey!" I shouted from the doorway. He promptly looked over at me and smiled before sprawling out on the island. 
Amy, I was sure to finally see you. I've watched you since you were a young teen. And hot damn, you've grown into such a beautiful woman," He said in a half-seductive-half-evil tone. "It's a shame that you're married, otherwise I'd have you join The Lost Boys. Wouldn't it be fun to be a vampire?" I hit David in the head with my hammer. He screamed and cried in pain. "Stay out of my head, stay out of my TV, and stay out of my man's leftovers, you freak!" I screamed, striking him between words. He fell off the island and onto the floor, where he bled out from his nose and mouth. "You can't stop me, you stupid whore. I'm the lead vampire..." he squeaked. "Oh, yes I can." I snapped back before stabbing him in the heart with a wooden chopstick. There, he laid, bleeding and convulsing. He finally gave his final breath, right there in my kitchen. I sighed, relieved that this whole ordeal was over. With only an hour until my husband came home, I cleaned everything up. When he did come home, I told him everything. And somehow, he believed everything I said, despite his stern tone on the phone. "Dearest, I'm sorry that you don't like that movie anymore. What would you rather watch?" he asked, giving me kisses. "I don't care, as long as there are no vampires."
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:DIALOGUE!