Super breaking bad 64

??: hey you're the new the new kid, how did you get here?
me:Well it's a long story....... a really long one
??: i dont give a fuck if it's a long, short or medium one, just tell me how you got here
Fine i guess it woudln't hurt this place is hella boring anyways
It was a winter night....
I had just came back from rehab to my family i promise myself that from now on i would start a new life. the nintendo 64 i had ordered from craigstlist had just been delivered.
I called my childhood friend Josh to spend the night with me, we used to play in my nintendo 64 everyday after school it was always a great time.
??: hey! why did you buy a nintendo 64 if you already had one dumb ass?! have you been sent here for being so fucking stupid!?
me: That's irrelevant!!
??: Just tell me you little bitch!
me:FINE FINE!! (fucking idiot) we were circle jerking after school in our graduation day and i..... i landed a cum shot in the cartridge slot... acidentally...
(the guy started laughing his ass off like a 5 years old after seeing a fart joke on paw patrol)
May i continue now!?
??: yeah yeah sorry continue your story
Well i had sold all of my games after losing the console so Josh brought a little present for me, he bought me a copy of super mario 64!
It was such a great time! we spent all night playing it taking turns, sadly eventually the fun had to come to an end... 
I said goodbye to josh he had a job after all so i just spent all night playing super mario 64 till i beat the game
I had gone to bed at 5am i woke up stupidly tired my bed was all messy and filled with droll and a tiny bit of piss, so i took a nice long hot shower.
When i got dressed and got of the shower my parents looked rather... strange? i would say, they were dressed up as Shrek characters my mom was dressed as shrek
and my dad dressed as Fiona, well it was a little weired i felt like something suspicious was going on but i didnt question it.
Later that day my parents asked me to buy some stuff for them i mean yeah sure i would i had lost my job after going to rehab got nothing better to do, i grabbed some of my money too
so i could buy another nintendo 64 game maybe two i am really good at videogames.
After going to the mall i saw my friend Benjamin, Ben was a really chill dude so i just aproached the guy.
me: Yoo!!!! Bennie boy hows it going! 
Ben: yo yo yo whats my man doing here?
me:Yeah you know my parents asked me to buy some stuff, i actually brought some money of my own i am going to the retro shop now, you know i got an N64!
Ben: That's sick dude! you gotta try the new game i made for the console! you will love this shit you have never seen this (ben puts some gloves on and pulls out a cartridge).
I grab the damn game but as soon as that shitlet touched my fingers i felt dizzy, it just kept getting worse.... i almost passed out.
Ben: YO YO YO! what'cha doing?! this shit is so technologically advanced that it can kill you! you gotta wear protective gloves.... oh also store it in a safe place.
me: Technologically advanced?! what makes this brick so special!?
Ben: well you see this shit is filled with the craziest MacroNanoMicro omega technology! the material inside of it needs to be researched but it does sciency stuff and shit!
me:Wait you said it needs to be recharged?! 
Ben: Yes but don't worry! I will let you try it ready and fully charged! if you like the game you can pay me some cash to getchu some fuel deal?
me:Yeah seems good thank you Bennie your the best
??: Wait Wait! i need a bathroom break! can you give me a little 5 minutes intermission kiddo!?
me:Fine Fine (sigh)
== 5 Minutes Later ==
??: Ahhhh! best quickie of my life 
me: Do you realise that this shit isn't funny for any reader under the age of 15 right dude?
??: If you dont shut the fuck up and start telling me the story i am gonna turn you into chop suey! 
me:FINEEEEEEE (sigh) so were as i? ahh ok.
I went home with the game, it was called "Super breaking bad 64" i was quite happy i didn't knew Benjamin liked Breaking bad.
I put the game in the console and it started jizzing out some kind of... weired smoke? i started to feel dizzy i was almost passing out, but then! The game started slowly warping into my tv.
The protagonist of teh game was obviously Walter White but man the game was so fucking realistic!The PS2 got nothing on this shit! it was just like real life, actually it was more realistic than real life hyperrealistic even.
My dizzyness went away and i started playing man it was so fun it felt so good! The first level was about cooking some methamphenatime, it played like cooking mama
but you were making well... drugs instead of food. The game was so fun that i spent multiple hours in that first level i couldnt stop playing for nothing.
Days went by i reached level 2 and 3. The second level was a drug dealing mini game, you had to choose the right answers to get the best deal possible, and the third well
it was also really cool it was like a chase from the police and shit it had guns and cars and shit. After finally finishing the third level the battery of the game went out, i felt dizzy my head
was killing me, my body was so tired!
I could only thing about one thing, playing more Super breaking bad 64.
I started Frantically driving to Ben's house, my head was still dizzy and my car zigzagin' the fuck out!
When i got to his house i begged him to give me a refill.
Ben: Okay that will be 100 dollars, well since it's your first time you will have a 1% of discount! 
me: Oh sick! thank you bennie! 
I gave Ben the money took some performance enhancing drugs (Ethanol) and went driving home as fast i fucking could.
When i finally got home i put on the game and FUCK i continue to having orgamsic fun! As they say Fun is infinite with nintendo or something.
I started playing the 4th level, it involved delivering a mysterious package to a drug lord, something i realized about this game is that it was extremely interactive, i didn't even need to do
the objective of the game to have fun, it was a bit like GTA if that makes sense. Well i had to wait till 5pm to deliver the package to the guy so in the meanwhile i just messed around in the game to have fun, i just started shooting children and dogs there were plenty! Oh god it was so fucking realistic!
After delivering the package i reached level 5 the game told me to talk to Jesse.
Jesse looked a little... strange? 
Jesse: Look Walter they want to stop you 
Me:Jesse What do you mean Jesse?
Jesse: Do you think they haven't noticed!? Those BASTARDS! they tell you that they are concerned about you but!! You know damn well they just dont want you to be a successfull drug lord!
Me: What the fuck are you talking a bout Jesse?! 
Jesse: Look get rid of those bastards! they are holding you down! They want you to be away from the game, they just dont understand! How much power this game will give you once you finish it!
Me:Power?! what do you mean Jesse?! I am hearing you out.
Jesse:Cash whores cars and everything you could ever imagine! This game can bring you... but you will never achive those prizes if you dont finish this game... you will just keep Thrashing away your money till there's nothing left!
Me: Jesse tell me... how do i finish the game?
Jesse: Are you fucking stupid!? JUST KILL THEM!!
Kill who?! (as i asked Jesse the power of my cartridge started to run out)
Were am i? I said after waking up in a strange place. I was sleeping in the ground near Ben's house, I got up and started running to his house.I couldn't care less if i didn't even know what the fuck was going on, i just wanted i just wanted to play that stupid game. I knocked at Benjamin's door and waited. 
Ben: Yoo hows it going my man?! came back for...
Me: Look drop all of that shit just give me a recharge, i need to finish that fucking game.
Ben: Hey calm down calm down big guy! It will be done in an instant! Just give me the cash and ill do it?
Me: Cash!? i dont have any cash left please i will pay you later, please just recharge the stupid game! 
Ben: No cash? you dirty fuck! dont come back to my house until your stupid ass got some cash! I dont give a fuck! Get it SOME FUCKING HOW you fucking little dirty cum sock. 
Me:What the fuck did you just call me fucking maggot!? (i push him into the ground)
(We started pushing each other for hours, insulting each other like there was no tomorrow)
Ben: i could spend all day pushing your ass! Give up now cunt! stop being a dirty whore and just pay what you own me like a big boy!
Well you know after hours of us pushing each other off i finally noticed i had a gun with me.
Me: HAHA! whose the dirty whore now?! Give me dat fuel or else i am gonna shoot your Benjamin Franklin lookin' ass.
Benjamin put on his protective gloves and started filling up the cartridge with a weired powder while begging for his life. After he was finished i shot that little slut dead and started looking for his own nintedo64.
I was looking for it but i couldn't find any, why would he develop a game for a console he didnt even have!? I started panicking i wanted to play that game so much, i tried to insert the cartridge 
into his VHS player, it just broke. Upset i started thrashing around until i broke the stupid cartridge into Ben's TV, the weired powder jizzed into my face. I washed the powder of my face and
after coming back to Ben's room the TV was on with my Super breaking bad 64 save loaded on it. At that point i didn't even care i just continued the game from where i left on.
When i entered level 5 Jesse had been shot dead in the floor, when i reached his corpse i was given instruction to kill 2 people to finish the game, there was a yellow arrow in the mini map pointing to their location.
I stole a little kid's bike and started to pedal to my destination. While driving i noticed something off about Walter White, he looked miserable, like he had not showered for days, His clothes were torn and had a blood stain on them. The closer i got to the end of the game the more i lost control over him, i had to press multiple times in a button just to make Walter White perform a simple action it was starting to make me really anxious.
When i reached my destination the two characters i was supposed to kill just started pleading, i hadn't even pulled my gun on them i couldn't even understand what they were saying. The two characters were an old middle aged couple i tried to pull out a gun but Walter White looked.... guilty, he refused to pull it out, but his resistence was futile. Eventually i was able to pull the gun on them, they started to cry their guts out.
I finally shot them dead but the game didn't end, strangely enough i wasn't even upset i just didn't care anymore. Walter White's eyes faded to black as i wondered in the city, i tried to turn off the game 
but it just wouldn't work so i just accepted it and kept wandering. I had spent so much time in the game that it eventually became night, i went to the local park and looked down into the little lake on it, I saw my own face
in Walter White's reflection. Eventually the game ran out of fuel and i woke up in a cold prision cell.
??: Woah dude that's fucked i am sorry for forcing you to tell me that 
me:It's fine it's fine
??: Wanna join me in a game of chess? the guards let me have a chess a board how nice of them
Me: You know i think i am fine without playing a game of any kind for a while....
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