Shivaji

Shivaji a.k.a. Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj in Maharashtra a.k.a. Chhappripati (father of chappris) elsewhere was a pothead, warlord, and king who killed cows and Muslims with an urumi to gain power in 17th century India. He is known to have fought a man named Aurangzeb, pissing off the Mughals, British, Portuguese, Maharashtra, and the well known pedophile, Mohandas Gandhi. Shivaji was a Hindu, and he was very religious too, as seen by his culinary tastes. 
==Childhood==
Shivaji was born in a Marathi barn located near Pune on February 19, 1630. During his childhood, Shivaji enjoyed hunting pigs, cows, and snakes. His fondness with snakes evolved out of his devotion to the snake-gods of Hinduism. After hunting cows, he would enjoy eating delicious beef fried rice, cooked Marathi style.
At the age of 14, Shivaji was enrolled at the Stoner High School in Pune by his mother, Jijabai, and his father, Udayanraje Bhosale. The ideas of this school would influence Shivaji later in his life. At Stoner High, he met a Brahmin guru named Dharmesh Patel who persuaded him to kill more cows and eat even more beef.
==The Equestrian inside Came Alive==
At some point in his teenage years, Shivaji decided to hop on a horse named Krishna. As Shivaji hopped on Krishna, Krishna made a loud moan, "AAAAHHHH!", a rather unique noise made by horses. At that moment, they fell in love. From this point onwards, Shivaji was always seen with Krishna, even while Shivaji created Sambhaji by screwing Saibai, his first wife.
===The Equestrian Legacy===
The legacy of Shivaji's equestrianism is well acclaimed. Even the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena decided to build a statue of Shivaji riding Krishna in the ocean near Mumbai.
==The Ganja Discovered in the Sahyadri==
thumb|center|Deep in the Sahyadri Mountains, Shivaji found this nice stash of the good shit, as niggas would call it
One day while Shivaji was riding Krishna in the Sahyadri Mountains a.k.a. the Western Ghats, he stumbled across a strange green plant. Shivaji picked up a few of these plants and stashed them in his pants. That night, while Shivaji was chillin' with Krishna, he took out the stash and decided to eat some of it. Oof! And this was the start of Shivaji's greatest legacy, the O.G. stoner of Maharashtra.
==Adulterous Affairs==
Included is a list of known misters and mistresses Shivaji was affiliated with :
*Sambhaji, his son
*Hambirrao Mohite
*Tarabai
*Queen Elizabeth I
*Louis XVI
*Moohammed
===Sambhaji===
Shivaji was deeply affectionate to his son, Sambhaji. His mentorship involved rubbing his pointy beard on Sambhaji's nutsack. This inspired Sambhaji to become a brave Maratha warrior and piss off the Portuguese just like his father did.
==Worship==
In 1991, a drunk cartoonist named Balasaheb Thackeray decided to pay homage to Shivaji by placing a statue of him in the Ganesha Hanuman Elephant Monkey Giraffe Zebra Temple in Navi Mumbai, Maharashtra. This turned into a massive cult-like trend, which is still practiced today by the Indian people. Indians from all over India now praise and worship Shivaji as Ganesha's ninja sidekick. A common mantra recited by the Indians nowadays is, "Om, Shanti, Om, Hare Shivaji, Hare Shivaji, Hare Ganesha, Hare Ganesha, Hare Shivaji, Hare Shivaji, you kicked Aurangzeb's slimy old arse, Om, Shanti, Om". This mantra is repeated 108 times by the Chitpavan Brahmins of Kolhapur every morning at sunrise.
==See Also==
*Mughals
*Maharashtra
==Links==
Category:Haram
Category:Indian people
Category:Bad Motherfuckers