Please listen to me, I dont know where I am

here I am wandering the forest at night in pitch black darkness. Something had happened to me but i dont know what. my hands are there but only slightly. Definetly more trasparent than usual, but i dont mind it. I also seem to be moving without the use of my legs. Kinda like an invisible propolusion, or a maglev train.
Thats what i felt like anyway, a mag lev train. Just shooting through the woods silently. A tree? Whatch this tree. Ill go around you leaving your leaves to whisper in the wind. I am fucking cold though but my butthole is puckering–wait—what butthole? I seem not to have one anymore.
Just like my weine— right, hold on. what is happening to me. I can hear everything in a 100 mile radius. A car door there, a bat over here, some other campers talking down the hill.
Get this though.
I have no idea where I am and nobody is acknowledging my existence. It feels like i dont even exist. I cant exist because why the hell would i be here, shooting through the woods like a maglev train. It feels unatural. Even supernatural.
This is not a good time. My hands are gone now completley and i dont feel hungry at all. Then i realized, i was standing in the same spot as i was when i started writing this down. I havent moved at all.
I also had another realization, which is that my dad never liked me as a person, but maybe he loved me as his son.
This last thought made everything go darker. The night was permeating the woods even more, pulsing darker and darker.
No bad thoughts. No bad thoughts.
Then i saw it. Snakes slithering on the branches above.. Winding their way to the end of the branch. In the distance i saw one creep to the end and slink itself down and head towards me. Then another, and another, and low and behold they were multicolor like grocerystore cotton candy.
I ran so fast outta there a crown of antlers tangled in vines and moss sprouted from my head and loomed over me like thick eyelashes over my eyes.
The snake is the natural enemy of the deer, and soon i succumbed and accepted reality. The snake always wins. I never imagined in my wildest dreams i would be reincarnated as a ghost. An unborn sibling? Sure. but now here i am, doomed to walk across this sullen earth for eternity. How long would eternity feel like at the end? Maybe right now, like just this moment because i wont remeber but the past 30 or so years anyway. So ill forget my whole family and friends– my friends.
Where are my friends?
Just then i remebered. A shiver went up my spine. I didnt want to, but i had to.
I slowly turned around until i saw them maybe 50 or so feet away around a fire. Some were laying down with their eyes shut, or a forearm resting on thier forehead. One was laughing hysterically covering their mouth with their hand. No, no, he must be crying hysterically.
Then it dawned on me. Maybe they knew i was dead already, so suddenly. And there i was watching them from the sideline. I never had more fomo than just that moment. An eternal moment. A beautiful moment. My friends, everyone i hold dear, crying for me. The amount of love was overwhelming and heart breaking at the same time. Im here friends, im here. Ill always be here. As long as you think of me every once in a while. I will do the same too, for each and every one of you. May god have mercy on my soul.
Only, if i was a ghost, that means i wont be going to heaven. I mustve messed up somehwere along the way and the only way to fix it is to amend my wrong doing. If only i could tell jacob that i didnt text his girlfriend as much as he think while he was gone two weeks ago. If only i could replace the food i ate that i knew wasn't mine last night, and all those other nights i ate someone's lunch. Fuck me. If only i hadn't bought that damn vr headset to watch porn and charged it to my girlfriends card last tuesday.
If only i could show them a sign i wasnt entirely gone, only, transformed. Maybe even more enlightened. My body hovered behind the trees like a balloon in the exact shape of my body.
Maybe if i passed through them they could feel me. And if i did it to everyone one after another they would all look the same direction like wind vanes. Then, i could try to spin my body fast enough to kick up some dust. Like a vortex, and they would immediatley understand my predicament. Friends can pick up on those things. Like when you just know something without prompt.
I glide through the trees. Its sad but also feels like nothing else. I wish i could show jacob. how shocked he would be at my acquired ability. I could simply go right through a wall instead a door, or a window like last time.
I came to jacob's girlfriend first, because she was the closest. She sat there looking at the fire intensely. Almost like she was in emotional paralysis at the fact i was possibly gone forever. How i wanted to feel her cheek in life.
I brought my white, infinitely supple hand down to her cheek close enough to feel small hairs but not enough to quite touch.
i pulled my hand away at the last second. I had no idea the interaction between ghost matter and human skin.
Just then i felt a hand on my shoulder, and jacob said something to me
"Hey dude has the acid kicked in? Im fucking rolling balls ahhhaha look at them bro. What about you? You good? You aight?"
"Holy fuck bro you scared the shit out of me." I said
"What were you doing there just now bro, just cuz it looked like you were trying to touch melissa."
"Whaaa- no bro. No bro. Im a gentleman. i would never, not melissa. Come on. I was looking at the fire bro cuz im tripping balls seeing mad shit in the flames."
"Damnnnn... you're so right. That's insane. It really is like. Damn. thats fucking awesome."
It was time to go. Like a moth to a flame jacob went to the fire hypnotized by it's secrets and awesome to behold field of fluid-like energy.
I floated off into the forest like a maglev train. I had someplace to be. It was decided upon. I had to follow the web of pulsing neurons lacing the forest floor. They lead somewhere im sure, probably right there. To the flickering orange light down the hill.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:English Class Failure
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep