We're Not Gay, We Just Love Each Other

We're Not Gay, We Just Love Each Other stories are those in which two straight, same-sex characters end up together, but do not see their sexual relationship with each other as having implications for their sexual orientation. The characters continue to identify as straight and describe their love for each other as a unique circumstance that transcends sexual orientation. It was a common trope in early slash fiction, but its popularity seems to have fallen over the years.
Incidentally, the trope reflects an actual real-world phenomenon of men who have sex with men, but don't identify as gay or bi. Although slash stories can certainly describe a character who thinks this way (largely due to internalized homophobia), the WNGWJLEO trope (depending on how broadly defined) may include only instances where the author shares this view.
Sometimes the term is more broadly used for all stories where the two characters start the story self-identified as straight, whether they allow their new relationship to influence that self-identification or not. 
The term is not generally used for stories in which any character explicitly identifies as bisexual.
==The Concept and Drift in Terminology==
First, there was the trope itself, one which did not have a standard identifying phrase. A fan commented upon the trope in 1986: 
Then came the actual phrase, "We're Not Gay, We Just Love Each Other". One early use of this was in 1990: 
The abbreviation, "WNGWJLEO," was first used in 2003 or before. A 2003 example: "...my recollection of the 1980s as a period when slash evolved from the ultra-straight OTP, WNGWJLEO, to writing slash as two gay (or bi) men bonking." -- A 2004 example: "I hate the whole WNGWJLEO trope, so I love that about Miriam's Pros fic in general, this one in particular (and you should give her other ones a try, definitely, though I think this is probably the most accessible)." -- from a 2004 comment at Crack Van
==In Published Works==
An example of this in mainstream fiction is the relationship of Jennifer North with her school friend Maria in Jacqueline Susann's Valley of the Dolls. Maria taught Jennifer how to make love, on the pretext that men were too rough. "We are doing nothing wrong. We are not Lesbians like those awful freaks who cut their hair and wear mannish clothes. We are two women who adore each other and who know about being gentle and affectionate."
Though nowhere near as common, there is a canon reverse example of this in Bob and Rose by Russell T. Davies where a gay man falls in love with a straight woman.
== Historically == 
Many fanfic written in the first few years of slash contained this lack of dealing with orientation. 
Joanna Russ, in Another Addict Raves About K/S (1985) said: 
From a fan in 1986: 
In 2007, Natasha Solten, a K/S fanzine publisher, offered a slightly different explanation as to why early slash writers did not feel the need to focus on the sexual orientation of the characters. As part of the K/S Legacy project, she explained how early K/S fans did, in fact, grapple with whether Kirk and Spock were to be 'read' as homosexual: 
Gradually, these types of stories came under substantial criticism, both for being unrealistic, and for being borderline homophobic, and are now much less common.See also Slash vs Gay Controversies. 
However, there are slashfans who miss those stories and feel that asking slash to be realistic in this way has made it less fun for them; from this perspective, slash isn't about real-life sexual orientation or lifestyle, it's a genre of romance. Catherine Salmon and Donald Symons wrote in Slash fiction and human mating psychology, "...slash fiction is so similar to mainstream genre romances that it could reasonably be classified as a species of that genus." 'Slash fiction and human mating psychology', Journal of Sex Research, Feb, 2004. Note that the article itself contains conclusions that are not shared by some in the slash community. See a discussion about the article and related book, hosted on eruthros's dreamwidth account 31 August 2009, which discusses how straightness is merely a romantic obstacle to be overcome, and overcoming it makes the romance more potent. Another interpretation is that the story trope is a convenient way to get around apparent canonical heterosexuality. Since most shows depict heterosexual characters, a slash writer can: (1) Assume that the characters are only pretending to be heterosexual, and are concealing their homo/bisexuality. (2) Assume that the characters are being "forced" to appear heterosexual by the producer/director/writers/actors. (3) Accept that the characters are heterosexual . . . and then play the "WNGWJLEO" card. ~ comment from ' The Pitfalls of Fanfiction - WNGWJLEO', March 24, 2010. As Lezlie Shell said so memorably: "Why is it our duty to accurately reflect the gay male experience? Is it the duty of gay male writers to accurately portray the lives of spinster librarians?" Quoted in Fans, Bloggers, and Gamers by Henry Jenkins, pg. 79. Originally from Homosexuality has as much to do with Slash as Civil War history did with Gone With the Wind. (September 29, 1994) 
==Examples of the Story Trope==
From a 1995 Starsky and Hutch story: "Even after all their time together he was still occasionally surprised that he get so much pleasure from another man's body. But then, this wasn't just another man. Hutch had always been different, special." from "Noel's Story" by K. Brown and K. New in the zine Indigo Boys #2 
From a 2002 Sentinel story: ""Blair, I'm not sure how to answer you on that. There were a lot of things on that tape that would turn me off big time if I pictured doing them with anybody but you. Maybe I'm not really bisexual. Maybe I'm just, I don't know, Blairsexual." Blair grinned widely. "Blairsexual," he said. "I like that. Wow. I guess that means that all these years I've been a closet Jimosexual." from Decompression by Shadow 
From a 2012 Sherlock story: "“I know I’m not gay,” he says. “When Harry came out, I went and read everything about it. I had to know, to make sure I—I wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to accidentally offend her or — just to know. I’ve never been attracted to men, er, before. I doubt it I’ll be attracted to another man again." from Sometimes Lost is Where You Need to Be by stardust_made 
===Other Fic Examples===
* 'Folded Arms' and Open Minds (The Professionals, 1991)
==Fan Anecdotes and Comments==
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===2015===
Comments from Was Fanfic Any Different in the Olden Days?
===2016===
Comments from Was Fanfic Any Different in the Olden Days?
===2019===
Comments from Was Fanfic Any Different in the Olden Days?
===2023===
Comments from Was Fanfic Any Different in the Olden Days?
==Further Reading/Meta==
* Dream On, a 1992 essay by Paula Smith
* Never in their wildest dreams... by The Divine Adoratrice (1997) 
* , discussion at Slash Philosophy (June 2003) 
* Musings on "We're Not Gay" in slash (2006)
* Sexuality and slash fandom (2007 post)
* discussion of this trope by The Professionals fans: (2012)
* not a tame lion: a boy's adventure in narnia by ravurian, March 29, 2007
* another section of the slash puzzle by princessofgeeks (July 8, 2008)
* warning -- this is an emotionally complicated meta; archive link by Sandy Herrold (August 2008) 
* (Fail-Fandomanon thread which makes fun of the acronym.) (June 22, 2021)
==Notes==
==References==
Category:Glossary
Category:Media Fandom
Category:Romance Tropes
Category:Sexual Tropes & Kinks
Category:Slash Fandom
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