Attack of the Giant Killer 50 Foot Mutant Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot Giraffes from Outer Space

Dr Dumbo Mcfartington was a zookeeper who had a pet giraffe named Geoff.Even when he was fired for poor maitenance and joined the millitary,he still brought his beloved pet with him.Nothing could ever separate them.Until the faithful day of March 13th.A soldier had eaten too much Taco Bell for lunch,and you can probably tell what happened next.When it was his turn to use the bathroom,he farted so hard that the entire facility exploded.Luckily,nobody was killed.Nobody...except for Geoff.Dr Dumbo was so heartbroken over the loss of his dear pet that he resigned from his job,became an alcoholic,and eventually died.Since all the soldiers were asleep at home,nobody saw what happened next that night.
An alien spaceship came down to the destroyed facility to salvage some stuff.It was then that they found Geoff's body,which nobody bothered to bury.Curious,they beamed up the rotten corpse to see what they could do with it.The pilots of the ship were Glop and Glorp,the galaxies 2 most famed geneticists.On their little vessel were DNA samples of every organism in the universe.Just for fun,Glorp,who was the less serious of the duo,decided to inject the giraffe's corpse with many samples of DNA,which included ninja DNA,pirate DNA,zombie DNA,and robot DNA.Glop,who went to get a grape soda,accidentally knocked over some amoeba DNA onto the corpse too.All that DNA filled in the gaps in the genetic code,and managed to bring Geoff back to life.But he wasn't an ordinary giraffe anymore.He was now a giant 50 foot mutant ninja pirate zombie robot giraffe.Enraged,Geoff destroyed the ship and the alien duo,before descending down back to Earth.Because of that amoeba DNA,Geoff had the ability to split into 2,and before long had created an army of 500,000,000 clones of himself.He was now ready to take over Earth.
This is where I come into the picture.It was an ordinary Saturday afternoon.I was eating Mac and Cheese and playing the best game ever ROBLOX Jailbreak.I choose to play as a cop.When I was rounded up all the criminals,I saw a user named Giant 50 Foot Killer Mutant Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot Giraffe from Outer Space.What was weird was that he wasn't a police or criminal.I asked him what he was doing here and he said "I AM NOT HUMAN I AM THE ANTICHRIST HIMSELF I WILL FEED ON YOUR FLESH AND DESTROY THIS WORLD OF PUNY MORTALS."I thought he was just a lunatic who escaped from the insane asylum and was playing Jailbreak for some reason,but I was still shaken up by the whole experience,so I turned the game off.I decided to watch TV because Shrek was on and I needed to calm myself down.The movie started off as normal,but when it came to All Star,a giant giraffe foot crushed Shrek."Well that was weird" I told myself.I decided to go outside and plant something in my garden instead.
When I came outside,all of my neighbors were outside on their lawns,looking up solemnly at the sky.Confused,I asked my next door neighbor Mr Harrington what was going on,but he refused to answer,almost paralyzed.When I turned around for one second to get my seeds,all my neighbors were dead.I dropped everything I was holding,and yelled into the distance "Is anyone out there?"No response.Scared and alone and feeling small,I started up my car in the hopes of finding help.
As I drove into the city,I saw everyone in the suburbs closing their doors and windows,as if something absolutely terrible was about to happen.When I came to the city itself,I saw something too horrifying for words.Every single building was on fire and destroyed.It was at that moment that I heard an ear piecing sound.The sound of thousands of people screaming.Then...silence.In the desperate hope that their were other survivors,I drove into downtown.
When I reached there,it seemed like I entered a whole other city.There,the buildings were all intact and it was awfully calm.Too calm.Then,the ground under my car started to crumble and crack.Then a giant 50 foot killer Mutant ninja pirate Zombie Robot Giraffe rose from the street and proceeded to eat my car.Luckily,I survived by jumping out of the left door.It was then that I saw my friend Gary in an apartment on the other side of the road,yelling at me to come in.I ran into the building like I had never did before.Inside,after I had locked the door,I found out we weren't alone.There was also a body builder named Josh,a nerd called Billy,and my ex girlfriend Natasia.When I asked what they were all doing there,Gary proceeded to say that they all happened to choose the same place to hide from the killer giraffes,who were eating people left and right.Suddenly,the same giraffe that ate my car started breaking through the window.Mortified,we ran up the stairs.When the giraffe finally broke through,we threw Billy down the stairs for it to eat because he mattered the least and nobody cared about him.We raced to the roof of the building,when we finally saw a sliver of hope.A private jet was flying through the city.We waved and waved and waved until the plane saw us and picked us up.
When we walked into the jet,I was shocked when I found out that it belonged to Shrek!Also on the plane was a family of 4 and their dog and Bill Gates.I asked the pilot to take us to the White House."Righto"he said.As we flew on,I saw the remains of many famous cities like Los Angeles and Philadelphia.After 2 hours,we finally reached the White House.My team,the family,Bill Gates and Shrek jumped straight through the roof into President Trumps office.When I told him that America was being attacked by killer giraffes,He laughed it off as a stupid joke.But then the general of the army showed him footage of the giraffes reign of terror.President Trump ordered the general to send all his troopers to kill the giraffes with flamethrowers and search for any survivor.Then a giant giraffe burst through the ceiling and we all died.
The End
Category:Animulz
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:Rocks Fall, Everybody Dies
Category:Trollpasta