Go to Your Room, D.W./Transcript

D.W. Read: This is Tiffany and her servant. This is their lifeboat and these are the angry sharks... No! I'll do the playing. You just watch me. (Kate takes D.W.'s doll, who is named Tiffany, the two have tug-of-war, causing the doll's head to fall off)
D.W.: (gasps) Ah, Look what you did!
Jane Read: Play nicely, D.W..
D.W.: But she killed Tiffany!
(Kate chuckles)
Jane: Here. Give that to me. This looks easy to fix. Don't worry. Ahh, there we go! Good as new! No need to get excited!
D.W.: How come you're always on HER side?
Jane: I am not on anyone's side, but Kate's a baby and you're a big girl.
D.W.: I am not a big girl! I'm a little girl.
(Kate chuckles)
D.W.: Be quiet, you.
Jane: (off-screen) D.W.
D.W.: You sweet, little baby-wayby! This is mine! You can only touch it when I say so.
Jane: (sternly) D.W.
D.W.: Give That back Or I'll Pinch You! (gets taken away and drops doll in the process) Ah!
Jane: Dora Winifred Read, go to your room.
D.W.: But what did I do?
=== TITLE CARD ===
D.W.: This is so unfair! I'm a prisoner in my own room.
Nadine: It's only for a little while, D.W.
D.W.: (darkly) It's all because of that...that...baby.
(Jane walks into the room.)
D.W.: Is it time yet? Am I free?
Jane: You just got here. 10 minutes more and then you can come downstairs.
D.W.: But what about my supper? How will I survive?
Jane: Supper's not 'til 6. You'll be out long before then.
D.W.: But what if you forget about me? I could starve to death. Mommy! Mommy!
(Jane looks annoyed at D.W.)
Jane: (puts D.W. on her bed) It's 4:30 now. When the clock says 4:40, you can come downstairs. And I'll set the alarm, so you'll know when it's time.
D.W.: (crying in her pillow) You don't love me! You only love Kate and Arthur and Donnie and Pal, and..and Grandpa, and Aunt Lucy, and..and...
D.W.: (to Nadine) How long did she say?
Nadine: Ten minutes. When it says 4:31, that means one minute has gone by.
D.W.: I know that! I do go to preschool you know!
(D.W. and Nadine look at the clock. D.W. notices that it's not moving.)
D.W.: Nadine!
Nadine: What?
D.W.: It's not moving! (grabs clock and looks at it in horror) (gasps) Mom! Dad! (runs out of her room) Something's wrong with the clock! I think time has...stopped?
(D.W. sees a frozen Arthur sitting on the sofa while holding a cookie. D.W. takes the cookie and bites into it and then gives it back to Arthur.)
Nadine: What's going on?
D.W.: Time's stopped, and we're the only ones who are awake. (Suddenly, D.W. is happy after 1 second) Yippee!
(D.W., unaware that she is imagining, starts to freely skip around the house and go outside. She picks up Pal and puts him near the Tibbles' porch.)
D.W.: Stay! You live with the Tibbles now. (looks at Tibbles) You booby-faced baloney heads!
(Suddenly, David snaps her out of her imagination)
David: What are you doing?
D.W.: (frantically) The clock broke and time stopped and I was coming to warn you...
David: (sternly) Nice try, D.W. Back to your room now!
D.W.: (grumpily) Sheesh! You don't have to treat me like a criminal! (back in her bedroom; talks to Nadine) That only took two minutes?! I'll never be free.
Nadine: Yes, you will. It's not so bad.
D.W.: I'll let you know, I have the meanest parents in the whole world. All they do is punish me and make me work like a slave girl!
Nadine: Like when?
D.W.: Don't you remember when Arthur got that cold? I had to stay up all night to take care of him...
(flashback)
Arthur: (bites cookie, and sneezes) I'm ready for some cake now.
D.W.: Arthur...(drops plate of cookies on floor) Can't I go to sleep now? I'm so tired.
Arthur: No way! You have to stay and entertain me, remember? I'm sick. You want me to call Mom?
D.W.: (gasps) If you're happy and you know it, clap you hands (claps hands awkwardly) If you're happy and you know it, clap you hands (claps hands awkwardly)
Arthur: (a little annoyed) You call that entertainment? Tell me a joke.
D.W.: Why did the chicken cross...
Arthur: Heard it.
D.W.: How do you know when there's an elephant...
Arthur: Heard it.
D.W.: What's black and white and red...
Arthur: Ugh! Heard it! Go over to wall and stand on your head while I count to 300. Now that'll be funny.
(D.W. cries as the flashback ends)
D.W.: And what about when Cousin Lucy got married? I had to stay at home and cook and clean while everyone else went to the wedding...
(flashback)
(D.W. cleans up fireplace and sneezes)
Jane: Aren't you done yet? You still have the beds to make and you haven't even started the breakfast dishes. 
D.W.: Can't I go to the wedding please? 
Jane: Weddings are not for little girls!
D.W.: But what about Kate? She's going.
Jane: Kate is a baby! Besides we like her better than you. Ready, everyone?
Arthur: Don't forget to brush the dog.
(As D.W. watches the family into the car, she watches them leave, making her sob quietly.)
(flashback ends)
D.W.: So sad being me.
Nadine: But you went to the wedding, D.W.
D.W.: Who's side are you on, anyway? (looks at clock) 4:34? Will this never end? (throws pillow on Nadine) Mommy? (sniffs)
Jane: (half stressed, half tired) What is it now?
D.W.: Are you sure my clock is working? Maybe I've really been in here for hours.
Jane: (patiently) Your clock is working perfectly. Go back to your room.
D.W.: That's it. I'm phoning Grandma's. At least she likes me...
(imagination)
(The phone rings. David picks it up.)
David: Hello?
Thora: Son, this is your mother. What do mean by punishing poor little D.W.? (turns to D.W., who is eating Grandma Thora's cookies) Eat up, lovey. You can have all the cookies you want. (goes back to talking to David) How could you? Look at this little angel. This child is perfect. (A halo appears on D.W.'s head) Punish Arthur, he's the real troublemaker!
David: Absolutely! Yes, of course, Mom. (hangs up phone)
(Arthur walks inside the house, muddy. Just as he opens the refrigerator to get a cookie, David punishes him for no reason.) 
David: (angrily) Arthur, go to your room and never come out.
(Arthur looks stunned and confused at David.)
(imagination ends)
D.W.: (sigh) I just love Grandma Thora.
Nadine: How do we get to Grandma's when you can't leave your room?
D.W.: Easy. I'll just slide down the drain pipe. 
Nadine: Then what? You aren't allowed to cross the street by yourself...
(imagination)
(D.W. and Nadine are on a sidewalk with a suitcase in between them. The two of them watch cars move on the street.)
D.W.: Who invented cars anyway?
Nadine: What should we do?
(D.W. finds a quarter on the sidewalk and picks it up.)
D.W.: A quarter.
(scene cuts to an office. The phone dispatcher is reading a newspaper when his phone rings)
Phone Dispatcher: (picks up phone) Acme Cab. 
D.W.: (fake crying on phone) This is D.W. And I'm a little girl alone and forgotten. And I'm running away from home because they're punishing me. And it's not fair because it's all Kate's fault anyway and I need to get to Grandma's because the only one who really, really, truly loves me. (the phone dispatcher and all the people at the taxi company are crying) But I can't get to her house because I'm not allowed to cross the street!
Phone Dispatcher: (still crying) Stop right there, little girl. We'll be right over! (D.W. stops her fake crying and smiles. Everyone gets into their taxis and drive away.)
D.W.: So that's what I'll do. Are you ready?
Nadine: (looks at clock, and then D.W.) Hey, your punishment's almost up. Why don't we just stay here?
D.W.: It's too late. They had their chance. (goes to window and throws suitcase out of it) Look out below! (after throwing the suitcase, she tells Nadine to go first.) Y-you first, Nadine.
(Nadine sees the drainpipe.)
Nadine: The drainpipe's way over there.
D.W.: Oh darn! I guess we can't go.
(D.W. hears David, Jane, and Kate laughing together downstairs. She and Nadine go downstairs to see what's going on. Downstairs, David, Jane, and Kate play together happily. Arthur watches TV.)
Arthur: (To David, Jane, and Kate) Hey! This is important! Bionic Bunny is meeting the Leader of the Free World! 
(David, Jane, and Kate go back to playing. Scene cuts to D.W. sitting sadly on the staircase.)
D.W.: They've forgotten all about me.
Nadine: What's the matter now?
D.W.: They don't miss me. They're glad I'm not there. (Pal runs over to D.W. and barks) Even Pal doesn't miss me. (to Pal) Get away from me, you goofy dog!
(Pal continues barking and Arthur hears him just as D.W. goes upstairs back to her room and Nadine disappears.)
Arthur: What is it, Pal? Do you smell something weird?
D.W.: (Back in her room) I've been here so long. Arthur's even trained that dog to attack me!
Nadine: I think he was just happy to see you.
D.W.: It's no good, Nadine. I'll never see the light of day again! I'll never go to kindergarten! Or get shiny braces on my teeth! Or see Arthur's first pimple!
(Jane opens the door and brings Kate inside)
D.W.: (to Kate) Where did you come from?
Jane: Hi, sweetie. Would you mind watching Kate for a sec?
D.W.: It's not bad enough. They punish me, and now they make me babysit the enemy!
(Kate talks cutely)
D.W.: (to Kate) Don't smile at me! This is all your fault!
Nadine: What did she do that was so bad?
D.W.: What did she do? She's been ruining my life all day! Don't you remember when we were at the store...
(flashback)
(While Jane is looking at a shirt, D.W. sneaks to the cart while hiding a doll behind her back.)
D.W.: Shh.
Kate: Ooch.
D.W.: No! I mean "Shh!"
(D.W. is about to put the doll in the cart just as her mother catches her)
Jane: (angrily) Put that doll back, D.W.!
(flashback ends)
(Kate giggles)
Nadine: She didn't mean to get you in trouble. She thought you were playing.
D.W.: Well...but she's always ruining stuff, like later when we were leaving...
(flashback)
(D.W. rides a kiddie ride in the form of a mechanical horse in a store and plays around)
D.W.: Don't move, cow! I'm gonna lasso you and take you home to your mother!
Jane: Time to go.
D.W.: I'm busy. I'm rescuing a cow.
Jane: Honey, Kate needs her nap.
D.W.: Put her in the car! She can sleep while I'm playing!
Jane: (impatiently) D.W., NOW!
(flashback ends)
(Kate crawls over to D.W.)
D.W.: Don't get cute. (to Nadine) And then all afternoon, she kept trying to steal my toys...
(flashback)
D.W.: (to Kate) That's mine, and this is mine. And this, and this one too. No, and this one's mine. Oh yes, and this one too.
(flashback ends)
(Kate cuddles up to D.W. and offers her rattle to her. As she does this, D.W. realizes that she has been a horrible sister.)
D.W.: I'm the meanest sister in the whole world. Can you ever forgive me?
(Nadine Flumberghast disappears just as Jane is coming back into the room)
Mom: See? All you have to do is be your nice, sweet self and the two of you will get along just fine.
D.W.: So you don't love Kate more than me?
Mom: I love you both..... very much.
(clock beeps)
D.W.: What the?
(Jane turns off clock.)
Jane: Your punishment's over, D.W. Are you ready to go downstairs?
(Kate giggles. D.W. laughs.)
D.W.: Actually, we're gonna finish playing Lifeboat.
Jane: Suit yourself.
(D.W. plays with her toys.)
D.W.: Dive! Dive! It's the only thing that can save you!
(While D.W. is playing, her mother calls her for dinner.)
Jane: Okay, everyone! Supper time! Come down!
D.W.: In a minute.
David: D.W.!
Jane: Supper's getting cold.
(Jane comes into the room.)
D.W.: (to Jane) Mom? Five more minutes, please?
(D.W. finishes playing with her toys as the episode ends.)
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