Theresa May

Theresa May a.k.a. "The Vicar's daughter", "The Submarine", "The Maybot", and "Sharia May" to National-Conservative was the Prime Minister of the UK and leader of the Conservative Party form 2016–2019. She's nicknamed "Submarine May" because as soon as things get tough she dives below the surface."David Cameron 'let down' by Theresa May, says former PM aide", BBC 9.25.16. 
May is a Protestant Christian within the Church of England, and the daughter of a vicar."Vicar's daughter" Theresa May launches bid for leadership, Premier Christian Media Trust, 30 June 2016 The good news is that, like Dave, May lacks the predisposition toward evangelicalism.Theresa May – what lies beyond the public image?, Elizabeth Day, The Guardian, 27 July 2014 Still, her record paints the picture of a self-righteous, moralising nanny who is living in the past, completely out of touch with the majority on both sides of the spectrum (basically anyone who isn't a pensioner who thinks we're living in the last days of Rome). Most Britons agreed she is still preferable to the nutty, Leave-backing pretenders like Michael "How Real Men clap" GoveIt's the best his manufacturers can do to pass him off as human and Andrea "My Ovaries Work" Leadsom.Elgot, Jessica, "Andrea Leadsom apologises to Theresa May for motherhood remarks", Guardian (10 July 2016, 6:59pm EDT). It's a fairly depressing state of affairs, but true.
Between her and Cameron, the costs to the party have been staggering. They threw away their majority (one of the most powerful majorities in parliament in the UK ever),Faulconbridge, Elizabeth Piper. "Local elections deliver Brexit bashing for Britain's May and opposition". Reuters. May , 2019. their mandate, and £100b of the public purse.Williams-Grut, Oscar, "Brexit could cost Britain €100 billion up front", Business Insider (3 May 2017, 2:48pm). What took David Cameron 11 years as leader to build up,He was Leader of the Conservatives from 2005 through 2016. it only took 11 months for May to destroy for their party.
==Home Secretary==
She is bewilderingly lacking in any achievements from her time as a Member of Parliament, beyond deflecting blame (i.e. the Cameron Model of premiership).Barrett, Daniel, "Theresa May: Home Office could have covered up paedophile claims", Telegraph (11/11/14 at 6:39PM GMT). May served six years as Home Secretary, in charge of law and order, borders, immigration, drug policy etc. She is unpopular among those who work in the NHS, the police, Border Force or the fire service. May helped destroy those services more than any other Home Secretary in history.Hughes, Laura, "Theresa May feared she had created police commissioner 'monster'", Telegraph (2/5/16 at 1:54PM GMT).Riley-Smith, Ben, "Britain has control of borders, Theresa May insists despite 3m migrants to arrive by 2030",Telegraph (4/24/16 at 11:05am)."Theresa May announces major fire service shake up", Telegraph via Associated Press (12/19/15 at 2:39AM GMT). She also holds the judiciary in total contempt.http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/immigration/9345345/Theresa-May-accused-of-unacceptable-and-regrettable-behaviour-by-judge.htmlhttp://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-supreme-court-judment-theresa-may-live-pmqs-a7420826.htmlhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-15160326https://www.ft.com/content/c1fc44c4-8985-11e6-8cb7-e7ada1d123b1
She launched the "hostile environment", a scheme to make life as unpleasant as possible for anybody who might be an illegal immigrant, or looks foreign, or speaks funny: the human rights organisation Liberty wrote "The hostile environment is by its very nature discriminatory, so it is no surprise that it encourages discriminatory – even racist – behaviour". An example of this is landlords refusing to let to black and ethnic minority tenants even if they are British citizens.A Guide to the Hostile Environment, Liberty, April 2018
The hostile environment led directly to the Windrush Scandal https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windrush_scandal which saw people wrongly detained, denied their human rights and wrongly deported, a tragedy that ruined the lives of many from Windrush Generation.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_African-Caribbean_people#The_.22Windrush_generation.22 People lost their homes, their jobs, denied medical care, and were deported after the Home office destroyed the landing cards of Windrush Generation residents - the only documentation that proved their right to reside in the UK. By law the Windrush Generation were not required to retain any documentation themselves. The problem was known about as early as 2013, but deportations were happening as late as 2019. The UK government then proceeded to drag its feet in correcting its wrongs and tried to deny the victims their right to return after it was shown that they had been wrongly deported. People died before it could be made right. The Hostile Environment and May threw these people to wolves and is the one thing Theresa May should be remembered for, over anything she got up to before or after as Prime Minister.
==Prime Minister==
She was the last Tory standing after the post-Brexit circular firing squad. May had a high level of support amongst the public for her "strength", which turned out to be stubbornness detrimental to the country's well being.Timothy Ross and Svenja O'Donnell, "Iron Grip of Theresa May Said to Cut Her Off From Key Colleagues", Bloomberg (12/23/16 at 3:41 AM PST). She is also the UK's second female Prime Minister, the first having been Margaret Thatcher.
===Policies===
====Brexit====
To give May the benefit of the doubt, she was in a rather large and complicated mess wasn't entirely of her own making,Hughes, Laura, "Theresa May is running a 'government with no policies', claims Ken Clarke", Telegraph (9/29/16, 7:47am). and saying something like "Brexit means Brexit", while not exactly informative, was her trying to buy time so Parliament could wrap their heads around the situation and start figuring a way out.To quote Power Monkeys, biglabooba means biglabooba. If you make up words then you can have them mean whatever you want. Hard to argue with success:Sparrow, Andrew, "Brexit statement: David Davis rejects calls for MPs to vote on negotiating terms - Politics live", Guardian (10/10/16 at 12:37 EDT). But hey, at least the Tories got a 17 point lead out of it, right?/s She managed to leech a few votes from Labour and break UKIP,Watts, Joe, "Nigel Farage and Ukip donor Arron Banks accuse Theresa May of stealing their party's policies", Independent (10/6/16 at 10:30 BST).Griffin, Andrew, "Local election results: Ukip loses almost every seat it had in night that could spell disaster for the party", Independent 5 May 2017. taking advantage of a lack of real opposition. 
*Hmm, it's almost as if she worked out that there was a huge block of Brexiteers in the north who would vote Tory.(Actually, May is not a new convert.May's speech to the 2016 Conservative Party Conference, via Independent 10.6.15. As home secretary, she'd been doing similar stuff to non-EU migrants since 2010.Bennett, Asa, "Theresa May's devotion to David Cameron's net migration target is a high-risk gamble", Telegraph 10.4.16. Nobody cared back then.)
*The British public were sold a vision of a negotiated or "soft" Brexit wherein the UK retain access to free trade and the single market. Now the comedy begins: Theresa saw her plan for a soft Brexit wasn't working out and was going to trigger Article 50 without delay, thus giving up her bargaining position and access to the single market. It was a self-inflicted wound for London, who would lose prominence as a global financial center.Barbaglia, Pamela, "HSBC, UBS to shift 1,000 jobs each from UK in Brexit blow to London", via Reuters 1.18.17.
*Brexit was supposed to be about taking sovereignty from the EU and giving it back to Parliament, but all May ever seemed to do was undermine Parliament in favour of... not sure what.Swinford, Steven, "Theresa May will trigger Brexit negotiations without Commons vote", Telegraph (8/7/16 at 8:13am). Ah, such sweet sovereignty.
*She's promised to break up the banks,Ross, Timothy, "Banks to Miss Out on Special Favors in May’s Brexit Plans", Bloomberg (Updated 10/4/16 at 4:39 AM PDT ). jail the tax dodgers,"May flexes her muscles over tax avoidance", FT 8.17.16. spend like there's no tomorrow,Parker, George, "UK ready to borrow to fund infrastructure spending", FT 10.6.16. isolate the UK on a lonely island,Ross, Tim, "Theresa May plans new immigration crackdown on student visas", Telegraph (7/24/16 at 10:34am).Jenkins, Patrick, "City elite call for open attitude to skilled immigration", FT 10.4.16. risk destabilizing the entire union, and still get everything she wanted from Europe, regardless of practicality, because that's what friends do(?).Matthew Weaver and Anushka Asthana, "May: UK will remain at centre of EU decision-making until Brexit", Guardian (10/21/16 at 3:41am EDT)."Brexit: UK to leave single market, says Theresa May", BBC 1.17.17.Not even Corbyn wanted to go as far as May proposed, and he was castigated for being a Trot. This 180° turn from laissez-faire (under Dave) to a moralist, protectionist, command economy (under May) made the Tories delirious."Who said it, Theresa May or Ed Miliband?", Guardian.Booker, Christopher, "What Theresa May did and very carefully did not say about Brexit", Telegraph (10/8/16 at 3:47pm). Denial is not a river in Egypt. Somebody should write a book about this.
*In a speech, May proposed forcing British businesses to reveal and register their foreign workers. The idea, echoed by then-Home Secretary Amber Rudd, is that it "prevents migrants from taking jobs British people can do.""Foreigners in London ‘Horrified’ by May’s Immigration Vision" – via www.bloomberg.com. You know what they say: converts are the most zealous.Stone, Jon, "Theresa May’s plan to get firms to list foreign workers goes too far, Ukip MEP says", Independent 10.8.16. UK politics have officially become a Monty Python sketch. The immediate backlash from businesses appeared to have no real effect on policy, however.Ruddick, Graham; Mason, Rowena (5 October 2016). "Amber Rudd faces backlash from businesses over foreign workers" – via The Guardian.
*Throughout her political career,Travis, Alan, "Theresa May criticises human rights convention after Abu Qatada affair", Guardian (8 July 2013, 12.47 EDT). May has been extremely keen on getting out of the / Following a process started by Cameron, May decided to opt out of EU human rights laws, which coincidentally exempted British troops from having to obey human rights laws, and thus, would make them legally immune from prosecution should they commit war crimes. She also wanted to make it easier for journalists, reporters, and critics in general to be "investigated" for reporting on war crimes violations/allegations.Glaze, Ben (4 October 2016). "PM to opt out of human rights laws to protect British troops from lawsuits". "Theresa May's flagship human rights policy 'designed to allow soldiers to murder civilians with impunity'". 5 October 2016. This was part of a broader policy to suspend the Human Rights Act."The Tories are using the army to take a shot at human rights". 4 October 2016 – via The Guardian.
*Most Tories start from a hard-arsed position to negotiate down to something reasonable. May does not exaggerate. When she suggested turning heavily-pregnant women away from hospitals if they could not produce a UK passport on the spot, she considered it not only a reasoned position, but "uncontroversial"."Theresa May wants to force women to show their passports before giving birth". 12 October 2016. 
====Trade====
May and her party made large-scale transfers of public funds to favoured companies via "investment".Merrick, Rob, "Theresa May refuses to rule out private US firms taking over NHS services", Independent (1/25/17 at 13:30 BST). Where's Paxman asking the same question 100 times when you need him?
She could have been leader of the EU. By 2050, the United Kingdom will be more populated than Germany, and EU council votes are based on population. What was she to the US? A partner in crime.How many more times? Rupert Murdoch has NO influence on British politics! (The 600 Series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy...)Johnston, Ian, "Theresa May accused of being ‘Donald Trump’s mole’ in Europe after UK tries to water down EU climate change policy", Independent 29 May 2017. Meanwhile, Trump couldn't even get her name right.Sjolin, Sara, "White House got Theresa May’s name wrong no fewer than three times - Peculiar kickoff to latest chapter in ‘special relationship’", MarketWatch (1/27/17 at10:30 a.m. ET).Baker-Jordan, Skylar, "It's time to face our insignificance", Independent (1/28/17 at 2:50 PM BST).
====Social issues and equality====
Theresa May's views on gay marriage are something of a mixed bag: under the leadership of May voted against repealing Section 28 in 1998 and voted against adoption rights for same-sex couples, in accordance with the when others such as Boris Johnson (whose own record on LGBT rights isn't exactly 100% clean"“Homophobic racist” looks hopeful as new London mayor". Retrieved on 11 July 2016.) and George Osborne rebelled as a matter of conscience (Yes, he does have one!)."From gay rights opponent to ‘unsung hero’ of equal marriage: Theresa May’s surprising evolution on LGBT rights". Retrieved on 11 July 2016. In her time at the Home Office, policies were put in place which forced LGBT asylum seekers to prove their sexuality, some allegedly through intimate photos and videos of same-sex sexual activity. One individual was even told that she couldn't have been a lesbian, simply because she had children, saying that "You can't be a heterosexual one day and a lesbian the next day. Just as you can't change your race.""Home Office says Nigerian asylum-seeker can’t be a lesbian as she’s got children". 3 March 2015. Retrieved on 11 July 2016.
Still, compared to her competitors, May was by no means the worst candidate with regards to LGBT equality. Under May abstained from voting on the (allowing transgender individuals to legally change their gender) but later supported same-sex marriage alongside then-leader of the Conservative Party, David Cameron:
Shortly after her appointment, she borrowed a page from Dubya's playbook: reading aloud from the Quran, a gesture of solidarity with Britain's Muslims and a warning shot at the far-right. Fair play to her, she has always courted the Muslim vote."Theresa May’s speech on terrorism and extremism – full text and audio", Spectator (9/30/14 at 12:24 PM). At least May can differentiate between honest citizens and Islamic extremists, which pleases the left a good deal, though the right was worried that she'd start banning criticism of Islam next.Spencer, Robert (31 October 2014). "New UK law would ban critics of Sharia from broadcasting, protesting or even posting messages on Facebook". . Archived via . Case in point, back in her Home Sec days, she was instrumental in banning Aerosmith frontman Steve Tyler Pamela Geller from the UK, calling it "a measure against unfettered free speech.""US bloggers banned from entering UK", BBC 26 June 2013.
She once ran a campaign where buses drove around telling illegal immigrants to 'go home or face arrest'https://amp.theguardian.com/politics/2013/oct/22/go-home-billboards-pulled
====Drugs====
As home secretary, she refused to budge on any sort of discussion on drugs beyond the old prohibition line.Sparrow, Andrew, "Norman Baker reveals drugs proposals Theresa May stripped from report", Guardian (12/26/14 at 17.01 EST). Her psychoactive substances bill attracted widespread criticism for its lack of grounding in reality: She banned literally everything that is psychoactive, which means you could theoretically be arrested for having virtually any substance in existence.Scott, Matthew, "Theresa May Wants to Ban Pleasure", Telegraph (6/2/15 at 10:46AM BST).
====Censorship====
In 2015, she banned an American rap artist, Tyler the Creator, from the UK on the ground that his songs "seek to provoke others to terrorist acts".O'Hara, Mary Emily, "U.K. bans Tyler the Creator because of lyrics he wrote 6 years ago", Daily Dot (Last updated 2015-12-11 04:35 a.m.). Hippin' and the hoppin' and the bippin' and the boppin'
Zero dead from Pornhub, but porn is a public health concern.Graham, Georgia, "Theresa May: Violent pornography prevents young people from understanding a healthy relationship", Telegraph (11/25/14 at 6:27PM GMT). That was in 2014; two years later, her government began rolling out a plan to police people's kinks. They're using BBFC guidelines, so if it can't be shown in a movie, then they won't allow it.Price, Rob, "The UK is banning 'non-conventional' porn and it could censor huge swathes of the web", Business Insider (23 November 2016, 6:39 AM). The wording of the legislation ("non-conventional" sexual viewing) is similar to Russia's banning "propaganda of non-traditional sexual relations".
May also threatened action against those who advance unpopular ideas or sympathize with terrorists, even if they don't themselves advocate violence or illegal action.Theresa May doesn’t get it — banning ideas we don't like is to suggest that we are frightened of them, Mike Harris, The Independent, 1 October 2014
====Internet encryption====
As Home Secretary, she was in favour of increased surveillance especially of online activities.Investigatory Powers Bill: May defends surveillance powers, BBC, 15 March 2016 May's first steps as premier were to go after internet users, particularly journalists, under the guise of national security.Burgess, Matt, "What is the IP Act and how will it affect you?", Wired 10 January 2016.Sulleyman, Aatif, "UK Government is Secretly Planning to Break Encryption and Spy on People's Phones, Reveals Leaked Document", Independent 5 May 2017.Ponsford, Dominic, "Journalists confused after being told by Tory MPs that 'snooper's charter' will 'bolster protections' for sources", Press Gazette 8 April 2016. Bonus: They won't be able to take it to the European court. 
She wanted to put the internet under the control of regulation of the government - her government, which would have had the power to block all porn sites and ultimately every non-Murdoch news site that criticizes the ruling class.http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/theresa-may-internet-conservatives-government-a7744176.html
====Climate change====
Fracking ban: okay to overturn. Brexit: nope, we have to listen to the will of the people.Gosden, Emily, "Fracking go-ahead: Government approves Cuadrilla plans, overruling Lancashire council", Telegraph (10/6/16 at 8:22pm). Good luck, Little Englanders.
Cameron's Conservatives were environmentally-conscious. May clearly didn't care at all.Davies Bowen, Zachary, "Leaked docs show UK lobbying to weaken EU climate targets despite Brexit", Greenpeace (28 May 28 2017, 4:30 pm). She merged the Department of Energy and Climate Change (DECC) into a new department called, well, "Business, Energy & Industrial Strategy", which would imply a clear conflict of interest.No Department for Energy and Climate Change for you (The department was dissolved and split in 2023, with one part becoming the Department for Energy Security and Net Zero.)
===Hearing voices===
May claimed in an interview with The Sunday Times that God was guiding her through Brexit. That's the one thing which prevented her own cabinet from tearing her open to check that she wasn't a droid.
However, the fact that Theresa has campaigned both for and against the EU suggests that, at some point, she may have been talking to Satan.Clark, Thomas G (28 November 2016). "What kind of monstrous God has Theresa May been talking to? ". Another Angry Voice.O'Brien, James (28 November 2016). "James O'Brien's Pin-Sharp Point On Religion In Politics". LBC Radio.
=="Coalition of Chaos and goodbye"==
May called a snap election in 2017. It went badly, as it usually does. Although May won, just, the Tories were governing with a very slim majority, forcing them to cut a £1bn increased spending deal for Northern Island as a sop to the DUP. This was seen as a bribe in order to secure the DUP's support to prop up her government on a "confidence-and-supply" arrangement rather than a formal coalition.Theresa May accused of bribing DUP Independent, 27 June, 2017
Although never really popular with those on the right of the Tory party, even those of a more moderate disposition started to openly criticise her. She survived two votes of no confidence, in December 2018 and in January 2019. Then, after versions of her draft withdrawal agreement were rejected by Parliament three times, and following her party's dire performance in the 2019 European Parliament election (receiving just 8.8% of the votes), she confirmed that she would resign as Conservative Party leader in June 2019. Phew! We hear you say, but that's only until you find out who replaced her...
After announcing her intention to stand down as an MP in March 2024, she was nominated for a life peerage by Rishi Sunak, and created Baroness May in August of the same year.
==Videos==
*Cassetteboy vs The Snoopers' Charter
*Brexit Supreme Court ruling as seen by Taiwanese animators 
==See also==
*2017 United Kingdom general election — Darth Sidious and Orson Krennic vs. Obi Wan Kenobi? This settles it. This confrontation should also be broadcast on May the 4th.
*Liz Truss
==External links==
*Remembering that time when Theresa blamed a cat for high immigration.
*According to the very scientific analysis of Gay-Or-Straight.com, Theresa May is 89% gay.
==Notes==
==References==
Category:Brexit
Category:British people
Category:British politicians
Category:Christians
Category:Former Members of Parliament (UK)
Category:Government incompetence
Category:Living people
Category:Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom
Category:Protestants
Category:Purity culture
Category:We're on a mission from God