nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Jerry Lewis

Jerry Lewis is God as well as the King of FLAYVIN!-Land. He was born in 1856 to a refuge family from Pittsburgh, PA who left the oppression of the Amish majority. 
Mr. Lewis was a popular entertainer who fits into that rare category of being un-funny, scary and annoying: a triple threat. This explains why the Frogs love him, because they are un-funny, scarry and annoying as well. During his performing years Mr. Lewis's talents included, but were not limited to, mocking Asians, making unintelligible noises, and using the phrase, "Hey Lady!" Mr. Lewis gained international notoriety by being a douche bag before being a douche bag was made popular by people such as Gallagher, Carrot Top, John Travolta and the modern Douche Phenomenon Kevin Federline.
Mr. Lewis has a large body of film work but due to lack of interest no one has ever bothered to record it. With few professional accolades to hold on to he was able to go into hiding only to resurface in Cleveland, Ohio after years in the whitness protection program. This was because of mob threats on his life due to his years of bad acting and gambling debts in Vegas. Under his alter ego, "Joe Cimperman", he now is a un-funny, scary and annoying city councilman for Cleveland's downtown ward. While not being busy with important councilman work like standing on the street corner and waving to each car that passes or running through the city's China Town district naked screaming "Me So Sowwy", he aims to fight his arch nemesis Wal-Mart; a group who refused to sell his mass produced autographed photos and "Hey Lady" t-shirts in the south during the twilight of his Jerry Lewis years. 
While Mr. Lewis is still believed to be the spokesperson for Muscular Dystrophy under his previous identity, video is actually used of him that was shot by the U.S. Military prior to his plastic surgery for these telethons. The money is believed to be used to pay off his gambling debts.
== See also == 
*Dean Martin
Category:American actors
Category:American comedians
Category:American television personalities
Category:People from the United States or France
Category:Racists
Category:Vaudeville performers
Jesus Christ Sponge

The Jesus Christ Sponge is the result of many years of top-secret child molesting research by the Catholic Church. It has received international acclaim for not only being able to clean dishes, but also having a picture of Jesus on it, despite it's ridiculously high price.
==Worker Issue==
In 2006, there was tremendous controversy over worker conditions in the Jesus-Tech factories. Some workers were reporting being forced to work naked, while being watched by older priests. While others reported being touched by their managers. Another source of controversy was that all workers were little boys.
==Celebrity Endorsement==
===Paris Hilton===
In 2007 Paris Hilton made a public endorsement of the Jesus Christ Sponge, claiming that it made cleaning easy, and removing the little thought required to clean oneself. She then proceeded to explain how to use the sponge saying:
The major part of her endorsement was along with having a Bible in every room, every room would also have a Jesus Christ Sponge. This action fell on some controversy seeing as she rejected requests to have the Koran in every room, as well as many other religious texts.
===Jesus Christ===
The Jesus Christ Sponge was quickly endorsed by Jesus as the 'Official Sponge of the Church'. Though Jesus himself never spoke of the endorsement, and has in fact not been seen for 2000 years, The Pope released this statement:
Many people doubted the legitimacy of this endorsement, these questions were quickly put down by the Pope's statement: 
===Spongebob Squarepants===
when the Jesus Christ Sponge first came out, the endorsing job came right to the hands of the cartoon superstar, Spongebob Squarepants. However, this job was cancelled when the media found Spongebob was a Jew. Ironically, the Jesus Christ Sponge immediately sucked in Mr. Squarepants' soul into Hell.
=Theory of the Jesus Christ Sponge=
The Jesus Christ Sponge can be proven easily:
*We can agree that E=MC^2
*We can also agree that Jesus is has mass so E=JesusC^2
*And because Jesus can do anything, including traveling at the speed of light in a vacuum we can agree that E=JesusJesus^2
*Therefor E=Jesus^4
*So Energy>Jesus
*And because the catholic church thinks this is heresy we had to change it to Energy<Jesus
*Because E=MC^2
*And Energy<Jesus
*Jesus^4=MC^2
*And because E=MC^2 proves that matter and energy can be converted
*Jesus^4=MC^2 proves that Jesus and matter can be converted
The Jesus Christ Sponge uses the formula Jesus^4=MC^2 and transforms a small part of the sponge into a mini-Jesus. This mini-Jesus can then be used to clean your dishes. 
=Powers of the Jesus Christ Sponge=
The Jesus Christ Sponge has many amazing powers such as: 
*Cleaning your car 
*Cleaning your windows 
*Cleaning your shower curtains
*Cleaning your Blu-ray disks 
*Purging sin and evil
*Cleaning your friend
*Cleaning your pet dolphin
*Starting the Rapture
*Cleaning your dishes
==See also:==
*Jesus' cousin Bob
*Jesus
*Personal Jesus
*Advertising
Category: Jesus
Category:Fictional Character Amalgamations
Jesus Jones

Jesus Jones are a noise produced when drugs are taken and people with a mediocre grasp on reality decide they can play music, on stage, in front of other humans, with ears!
They achieved initial critical acclaim with their 1989 album Liquidizer, and in particular, the single "Info Freako", which featured buzzing rock guitars with samples and a hip-hop sensibility, relatively new for the time. The track was particularly championed by Bruno Brookes on his Radio 1 evening show, then it all went very wrong somehow.
==Early Years==
They were born to various people in different families through-out the World, they did stuff for a lot of their lives but felt they needed to venture down a musically charged road, so they did. And by God they did it with no fear, which in retrospect was probably more of a sign from the World to not do it at all.
==Allegations==
During their high profile escalation to the top of the food chain it was claimed that they broke into several Zoo's around Europe to consume the highly endangered AfroEagle, which now is extinct, the allegations came from many Zoo-keepers and wildlife authorities on the eve of the extiction after JJ was caught on security cameras in Poland and Spain.
The trial continues..
==Happiness==
The band found happiness in the Summer of '94, it was just lying there on the edge of a road in the Countryside, one band member explained to the masses that It was happy but we decided it could be happier and so they cut the World-tour of '94 and took it home, they fed it and nursed it back to health, then released it back into the wild when they felt guided by wisdom. Sadly it died 4 minutes later.
==Religious Ties==
We have all sinned and deserve God's judgment. God, the Father, sent His only Son to satisfy that judgment for those who believe in Him. Jesus, the creator and eternal Son of God, who lived a sinless life, loved us so much that He died for our sins, taking the punishment that we deserve, was buried, and rose from the dead. 
If you truly believe and trust this in your heart, receiving Jesus alone as your Savior, declaring, "Jesus is Lord," you will be saved from judgment and spend eternity with God in heaven. Otherwise you'll be sent straight to Hell where upon arriving you'll receive an IPod filled only with Jesus Jones tracks.
==Awards==
* Most drugged act (1991/92/93/94/95/96)
* Christian love award (1993)
* Funniest stage act (1993/94/95/97/)
* Most likely to be killed by angered Ferrets award (1995)
* Best mime act (1995)
* The Emmy sympathy award (2004)
===External links===
* Music
* Medical Help (ear bleeding)
Category:British musical groups
Jesus Juice

Jesus Juice, not to be confused with the drink that was never popularized by former pop star Michael Jackson, is a concoction invented in 1999 by author and lecturer Terence McKenna. As those who remember McKenna know, he had only two loves in his life: The Power of Jesus, and power drinks. Since the invention of Jesus Juice many Catholic parishes and dioceses worldwide have adopted the drink as its new and refreshing Communion beverage.
==A Boy, His Dog, And A Dream==
A fan of the widely popular "Pimp Juice" of Nelly fame, Terence wanted to bring to Christ what Nelly brought to rap. He decided to make a power drink called Jesus Juice. 
McKenna sat down with his dog and tasted many different power drinks, coming to the realization that he, too, could empower people--but empower them with the power of Christ! After many botched attempts at making a refreshing drink that would allow the average person to walk on water (and McKenna took many a dip in the pool himself during those years), he stumbled across Jesus Juice.
==The mistake that makes it great!==
While fiddling with his "crucifix" one day, young Terence knocked over a glass of jizz. This drink spilled onto his table came into contact with some young boy ass juice extract that a visiting commie had left lying around, and Jesus Juice was born. Drinking it may not give you the powers of Christ but it sure does make you feel like a god or goddess yourself.
==Let there be cults!==
Wildly popular amongst the davidians sect of Christianity, the Heaven's Gate comet-travelers, Discordians, and sexual fetishists, Jesus Juice is gaining both a worldwide underground following and unwanted attention from from governments and other party-poopers (See Government cover ups).
==The mainstream loves it!==
Jesus Juice made its way into the rave club scene and quickly became the drink of choice amongst conscientious Christians and proper pagans. With dance music leading the way, many notable Hollywood types began to drink it as well and a whole new religion was formed around it: Juiceism. The strength of Jesus Juice as a religious tool became so strong that Hollywood Jews and Kabbalahists took up the idea and made it their preferred power drink.
==The white man brings it all down, as usual==
Jesus Juice was on top of the world until late 2002, when some snotty nosed kid, obsessed with the pop singer Michael Jackson, took it upon himself to fabricate the concept of drugged up drinks to influence thought. The stigmatism now associated with Jesus Juice was too much to bear. Young Terence sold his company for a mere $50,000, and has since disappeared into obscurity.
Ah, though a larf that was, my milk had grown turtlish and was quite green. The structure of my molecules had solidified into pure goatsnake and was noothgrushed onto my foot.
==The new owner==
The rights to the drink are thought to have been bought by Blackwater, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Halliburton, which is currently trying to revolutionise 'Tea Time' in England with chemical-scented soft drinks and possibly a new type of Crumpet.
Jew/Colonization

__NOTOC__
=Introduction by Rabbi Eich Dafaknoo Et Ha`Goyim ("how did we fuck the gentiles over"):=
*introduction to congregation
*What we need to learn from this
*what we anticipate for the Jewish people in the future.
=Jew=
*Jews as a people and a valuable resource
As a people
Jews enjoy holidays so much that they created several new ones of their own, with various random traditions.
:(list holidays here, with descriptions of each)
:*Passover (especially enjoyed by Grape Jews)
:*Hanukkah/Chanukah
:(plus a few made up ones with fictional descriptions)
:(and an excuse for celebrating (or not) the Year of Jubilee, as described in the Old Testament, whereas all debts would be dismissed and all slaves freed, happens only once every 50 years)
*The Features:
**Big Noses
**Curly "Pube-Like" hair
**Naizily voice
(Possible work into the holiday section: Jews started the tradition of drinking gold (golden calf incident) and have been fond of the taste ever since. See Exodus 32:20 if you don't believe me.)
 
As a resource
*Jews realized early on the concepts of supply and demand economics and applied them to human life.
**To raise their own value as a people, they selectively diminished their population
***The Crusades
***The Holocaust
***Purim
***The Babylonian Captivity
***Egyptian Slavery
***Assyrian Captivity
***The Box of Sweden
***Anything else applicable and funny
Jew juice

Fancy a tropical tang to liven up a cold work's day? How about bringing a little burst of sunshine into the otherwise-meaningless drudgery you call a life? Family passed away or kids getting a little on the skinny side? Maybe you're just stuck in a rut waiting for the final solution to all your problems that nice man with the moustache promised you the other week. But it doesn't matter, my friend, it doesn't matter.
Why does it not matter, you ask, raising your tear-stained beard from the floor? Surely these trials and tribulations are too depressing for you to merely carry on... alone!
Fear not, my friend, fear not. Whenever your life is hard, Jew Juice will show you the way.
==What Is Jew Juice?==
A Juice which gives you strength, wisdom and enlarges your certain part. You can drink it day and night, 6 days a week (not on the holy sabbath and on high holidays). Main modern day substitutes include red wine, manischewitz, and grape juice. 
Jew Juice is 100% concentrated, made from the highest quality processed materials right here at summer camp!
==Which Flavours Do You Produce?==
Now there, my friend, you're in luck! Our enterprises produce a variety of delicious flavours, all under a wide range of catchy and appealing names and made from concentrate.
===Apple and Blackcurrent Smelly now===
Looking for a sweet, healthy flavour to kick some energy and life back into your day? Apple and Blackcurrent Smelly now is just the drink for you. Guaranteed to contain at least two of your five daily portions of fruit, this drink packs a powerful punch and will energise even the laziest mid-morning slacker.
===Berry Brown===
Going for a more fruity tang? Berry Brown's subtle notes of wild flavours combine to make this a trip your tastebuds will never forget.
===Cherry Garcia===
A development of our popular Berry Brown line, Cherry Garcia blends strong seasonal cherries with the delicious taste of fruits of the forest. Not recommended for those new to our drinks, this tiny bottle hides a strong tonic that is not for the faint-hearted.
===Strawberry Didor===
Soft and playful, Strawberry didor dances delightfully across the mouth, exciting areas of the tongue you never even knew existed. Prepare to have your ideas of what strawberry tastes like obliterated as we bring your understanding of flavour to a whole new level.
===Tropical Republicana===
For the fun-lover in you, Tropical Republicana combines subtle notes of grapefruit and banana with a strong pineapple tang, taking your mouth on a whirlwind tour of the Caribbean. Pack your sunshades as we take you far, far away into a sunny world where scantily-clad women cater to your every whim.
==Which Other Products Do You Produce?==
Exhausted our line of drinks? Forced more Berry Belzec down your throat than it can handle? Never fear. Now you can slake your hunger with a bite of our Kristallnacht Krunch or Bogdanovka Battenberg, or, if you're feeling extravagant, fight off your impending sugar crash with a few Majdanek Munchies.
No matter how you're feeling, you can't go wrong with Jew Juice!
Category:Beverages
Category:Intentionally Offensive
Category:Judaism
Jewish Dietary Laws

The set of laws laid down by Moses in Biblical times, just because he felt like it... or maybe it was Abraham Lincoln, I can never remember. I'm pretty sure it wasn't Solomon. And it certainly wasn't Ezekiel...
Although they also refer to the Old Testament for their laws, Christians were exempted from the Jewish dietary laws when Jesus declared they "just aren't kosher". (Judas10:17)
==Levels of adherence==
If you thought all Jews look ... er, cook alike, well you would be only half right. When it comes to ingesting large amounts of inappropriate food products, each division of the Jewdom has its own take on this tricky culinary subject.
===Conservative Judaism===
Conservative Jews, or those who are moderately Jewish and practice Conversational Judaism, are glad to keep kosher under the following circumstances:
*It's convenient
*They like the taste
*They don't have a hair appointment that day
*They're not on vacation
*They're wearing blue
*It's Tuesday (before sunset)
===Reform Judaism===
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But Reform Jews, or those who practice, practice, practice but still can't get it right, feel that it's okay to munch on some sand now and again. And pork is okay if the pig is circumcised, because whatdya gonna do? Insult the host at a business function? When ya gotta schmooze, ya gotta schmooze. Gimme a friggin' break.
===Renewal Judaism===
Breathe. One. Two. Three. Breathe deeply. One two three. Now eat just enough to satisfy your cravings. You're done. Shabbat shalom.
===Humanistic Judaism===
. You're kidding, right? You don't believe in keeping kosher, not even during Passover? G‑d forbid someone should mention "the Almighty" as if it were a dirty word or a cult apparition. If "the man upstairs" didn't create you, who did Mr. Smarty Pants? Ohhh, so I guess it's okay to mention him if it involves food.
===Anarchist Judaism===
If you become vegan you have no choice but to keep kosher. It's impossible for a vegan to eat . Torah said so.
===Carlebach Judaism===
Gevalt, it's mamesh such a beautiful holy thing when we consume kosher marijuana with our Manischewitz wine. It's like the story of Reb Moishe the Dealer, [breaking into song] oy yoy yoy he was so holy...
==Why Sephardim are superior to Ashkenasim==
Sephardic butchers take pride in knowing how to draw the nerve from an animal's carcass so all Sephardim can enjoy a nice rump steak. Most of the surviving Ashkenasim, on the other hand, arrived destitute in New York where they couldn't afford a proper butcher and were obliged to avoid the problem by eating only the front bit of the carcass, the arseend being the inspiration for McDonald's. However, while this precept enabled Sephardim to indulge themselves with superior status for so long as they could, it was later to give Reform Ashkenasim the upper hand, when they discovered that they could enjoy eating rump steak enhanced with the joy of additional guilt.
Category:Ethnicity
Category:Religion
Category:Food
Jewsy Jews

Jewsy Jews is a fruit juice drink manufactured in Auschwitz, Germany in the 1930's. It was most popular among young children, because it tasted good, while simultaneously pleasing their mothers for having one whole serving of real fruit Jews.
==Manufacturing==
The Jewsy Jews manufacturing plants employed mainly minority groups, specifically Jewish people. It was the hope of the owners that all Jewish people would be able to be easily find employment in a hostile economy.
The biggest problem that the manufacturing company ran into was that the workers would often disappear, and never be found again. This inexplicable abnormality was solved by simply getting more employees to replace them. Jewsy Jews was one of the most successful manufacturers in all of Germany until the company was shut down in 1945 due to poor management skills. The remains of the plants are still there today for anyone to visit. If you're lucky, you might even find some Jewsy Jews left behind when the plants were shut down!
==Product==
Jewsy Jews is healthy and delicious. It is good for children of all ages. The steps for making it are simple. First, we take some fruit, and crush it into a pulp. Then we filter the pulp, and run the liquid into a machine where we add sugar and water.
Then we package it, and send it to stores for children everywhere to enjoy. It's that simple!
Ingredients:
* Crushed Fruit
* High Fructose Corn Syrup
* Water
* Cane Sugar
* Food Coloring
* Our secret ingredient
==Popularity==
Jewsy Jews is the most popular kids drink in Germany! It has received ringing endorsements from Chancellor Adolf Hitler and several others. Eminem recently made a rap about it in his new album ChildPorn! Even Joseph Stalin loves it, and he's our enemy! That's how good Jewsy Jews is! It is outlawed in Israel for some strange reason, however...
Anyways, drink Jewsy Jews! It's the best!
Category:Judaism
Category:Nazis
Category:Adolf Hitler
Category:The Holocaust
Jib

The Jib is the deportment, style, or panache of an individual: an ineffable personal and physical quality that, shall we say, moistens the hoochie, stirs the wang, or perhaps tightens, subtly, the sphincter of the afficianado. The word "jib" is connected to sailing, a sport among the so-called "well-heeled," and Jib-appreciation derives from that context. In sailing, a jib is a largely ceremonial bit of sailcloth connected haphazardly to the front of a dangerous contraption known as a sailboat. Its main purpose is to increase the skipper's confusion and likelihood of tipping over, although when the skipper cries out, "release the jib sheet and prepare to come about!", it can have the effect of making them look as if they actually know what the hell they are doing. In ancient times, any skipper who could survive an outing on Long Island Sound, especially if the jib was deployed, was apt to be rated by Jibophiles from the safety of dry land back at the yacht club. The exemplary Jibs of the Kennedys are perhaps the most famous Jibs ever seen near that cold and rocky shore.
==Known Jibophiles==
File:Audrey Hepburn smokes.jpg|thumb|left|Audrey Hepburn, formidable Jib-afficionada, and possessor of a legendary Jib, herself.
File:Patricia Neal 1952.JPG|thumb|left|Patricia Neal, Often heard to say, "Young man, I like the cut of your Jib..."
File:Jim Backus The Jim Backus Show 1962.JPG|thumb|center|Jim Backus, admiring a Jib offscreen
File:Nancy Kulp Circa 1960s.jpg|thumb|right|Nancy Kulp, eying you, you little minx!
==List of People with Well-Cut Jibs==
One need not be a sailor, oh no, to have a helluva Jib. Below is a list of renowned Jibs, please feel free to add your favorite Jib at your leisure.
Jibmeister 	Nationality	Remarks
Christopher Walken	American 	Quirky Oddball, owes success to his renowned Jib
Alfred Hitchcock 	American 	One of the most recognizable Jibs on the planet, Name includes word cock
Peter Jennings 	Canadian 	Ubernewscaster, Jib-in-a-million, hair helmet par-excellence
Marty Feldman 	British 	Fuckin awesome, if somewhat eccentric Jib
Audrey Hepburn 	British 	Definitive Jib, set the freakin standard
Nadia Comaneci 	Romanian 	Off the chart Jib
Millard Fillmore 	American 	Ate Badger and Rutabega Muffeleta
Louise Fazenda 	American 	Never heard of her? Well then you ain't never seen no goddamn Jib, son.
Margaret Dumont 	American 	Whoa Nelly! What a Jib on that woman!
Johnny Carson 	American 	No other late-night host has ever had half his Jib.
Bruce Lee 	Chinese 	Definitive Kung Fu Jib.
==Say, I like the cut of your Jib!==
Needed one more section.
Category:Awesome People