Barton Court Grammar School

Barton Court Grammar School, also known as BCGS, is a dumping ground in Canterbury, Kent, for children with middle-class parents too stingy to pay for private schooling and too snooty to send them to a state comprehensive. It is made up three politically influenced backgrounds. The clueless tory faction is small but wealthy and incompetent (as with most conservative groupings), the "hoodies 4meatheads" party takes a majority of the school, with a small minority of socialists rebelling against the imposed class systems by writing damning reports on websites imitating encyclopedia-like search engines. They are living in my walls.
==History==
The school was established in 1875 as a waste storage site, as the London sewers were becoming too expensive– rather than building the pipelines out to sea or looping them into each other they simply built all toilet facilities at one end in London, and the exit end underneath Barton House. In time the pile up of excrement became too great for the residents of the house, so they sold off the estate to become a girls' grammar school.
The waste was drained off to the nearby Chaucer comprehensive school in 1980, as part of Margaret Thatcher's "dump shit on the poor" policy. A pond replaced the quagmire of excrement and after much careful renovation (putting up a few posters and lightbulbs) the dank, cramped and repulsive sewer lines were turned into dank, cramped and repulsive corridors.
In 1999 staff were brought in to EDUCATE the students struggling through the corridors, and actual construction took place, e.g. doors for the corridors to lead to, and windows for the claustrophobic gas chambers known as classrooms. However, because of these privileges, fear was no longer a motivator for students doing their assigned tasks. Because of this, grades fell drastically, and the government decided to once again improve grades by removing the staff. However, rules dictated they could not so they attempted the next best thing to having no staff whatsoever: hiring mush-for-brains oxygen wasters to oversee the student's entire destruction of the educational facilities.
In 2004, however, this was to change, as Big Brother realised that grades were still falling. In co-operation with MI5 and local zoos, they brought in a fearsome new beast to tame the students, and introduce order through utter insane chaos. This creation was a crossbreed between Klingon and lamppost, and with its Klingon heritage was named Duchtah Killeeh (pronounced Dr. Kelly). After being introduced to the school (but kept within the confines of the well guarded science block) grades began to rise, but the number of cases of unexplained mutilation, mental breakdown and involuntary urination among students rose drastically. Some other notable changes since then have been the introduction of modern computer screens (powered by fifty-year-old cream-coloured plastic boxes with little hamsters on wheels within) and the forced labour of many sixth-formers to build a new sports hall, right next to the brand new sewer lines.
right|200px|Morning assembly under the new regime
Despite having become somewhat unfashionable post 1939, fascism is once again prevalent at Barton Court with the appointment of a new hardline regime after the "Duckpond Coup" in 2010. The incumbent autocratic leaders were ousted after their leader Tsar Manning XVI was deemed by the politburo as "a waste of space... although we do so like his crazy speeches." Upon the establishment of a totalitarian-authoritarian-pointlessitarian leadership, several new decrees were passed to remove the traditional system of "sod all". 
Telescreens have been bought for every classroom (replacing outdated pictocubes, but with the sole intent of monitoring the students' toilet breaks, tie lengths and how much they love Big Brother). Thoughtcrime is being reduced through an active policy of inactivity.
Under the new dictatorship of Kirstin Cardus it was decided that the way to improve wasted time is to make students attend five shorter lessons, so now the time will be wasted in a lesson transition period. This is but one example of Cardus's amazing logic; another is an amazing use of the zoom function on graphs to make a big deal out of nothing.
After the eventual collapse of this system, the school was greeted by a new leader, the face of capitalist consumption, Jonathon Hopkins. He decided that the students should be recognised for things other than academic success, which gained him an army of devoted pawns.
However, this was all a cunning disguise for the atrocities going on behind the scenes. Hopkins ordered a new regime, known as “Enrichment Days”, which has one goal in mind: Controlling the thoughts and decisions of his slaves.
This was backed by his oligarchs, who include the far-left terrorist leader; Mrs McIntyre-Randyll, the Spanish terror; Katherine Bernard-Grosso, and the cartel ringleader; Mr R Duran. 
The students, totally oblivious to the malicious intent of these Trojan Horses, gratefully accepted these, and regarded them as privileges, unknowing of their sinister intentions…
Category:Schools in the United Kingdom