The Egg Sandwich

It was a fairly cool day in late August. I was beginning to wrap up my last few games of Arena on my Sub Rogue in World of Warcraft, when I grew a little bit hungry. I got up from the chair that coincides with my desk, and began to casually strut onward to my kitchen. I walked out of my room which is at the end of my hallway, and immediately after you leave my room, to the right is my parent's room. I walk down my hall to the end of it and peer into my bathroom, which is on the left side of the hallway. I decide that it wasn't time for me to use it, since my gaming overtook my desire to drink or eat for a while. I stood at the very end of the hall, and to the left lay my dining room, in the front is my living room, and to the right is my kitchen. I looked to the front into my living room, which has a balcony, and looked through the balcony to determine the time of day. It was a fairly dim afternoon, indicating that night was approaching quickly, since it was autumn.
I walk to the right into my kitchen and slide my hand on the sleek tile counter of my kitchen as I walk towards my sink to get myself a glass of water. I take a glass from the clean side of the sink and quickly inspect to see if a proper job of cleaning it took place, and I found that its cleanliness was sufficient, but I rinsed it out to get whatever minimal dust accumulated within the cup during the day. I filled the cup with water and immediately drank about 3/5's of it, and emptied the rest out. I decided to take a glass of water with ice to my room to accompany the food I was about to prepare. I walked over to my refrigerator and opened the left door, to access one of the 3 trays of ice. I found that it was mostly empty, except for about 4 pieces, which was perfectly sufficient. I popped in the ice cubes out of the tray and dropped them into the cup and heard the relatively loud clatter that it made as it crashed at the base of the cup. I picked up the cup and turned on the faucet, but didn't begin filling the cup with water until I believed that the tap water was cold enough. I filled the cup nearly to the brim and took a sip.
My spine shivered as I felt the sheer cold water make contact with my lips. I set down the cup and opened the cabinet. I reached over and took a medium sized plate and laid it down. I waltzed on over to my fridge and opened up the right side. I scoured around, moving over little containers and jars to see what could quench my hunger. I could find nothing of great interest, so I took out the carton of eggs, the package of bologna, and 2 pieces of Kraft Swiss singles, and a bottle of Ketchup. I laid them over onto my counter near my plate. I went back to the fridge and picked up the sliced white loaf of bread that was topped with sesame seeds. I set it down gently onto my table, for I have great respect for the food my mother worked tirelessly to purchase. I took two eggs out and grabbed a new and fresh glass, without caring much for its sanitation, for it wasn't meant to hold anything that I would consume. I filled the glass with water and dropped the first egg into it, and it sunk, which is a good thing. I took it out and laid it to the side. I dropped the second one and it followed in suite. I took it out and laid it next to the first. The purpose of this was to test if it was still good.
Expiration labels can be wrong.
If the egg floats, then it's probably bad, if it sinks, then you're all good. So, anyways, I took a relatively small pan out and laid it onto the stove. I took the container of vegetable oil and poured a bit into the pan and tilted the pan in all directions, so I could spread the oil evenly. I placed it over and laid it onto the stove again. I took the two eggs and cracked them on the sides of the pan and allowed them to fall into the pan. I allowed them to cook by themselves on high temperature, since they were to be sunny-side-up. As they cooked, I took 4 slices of bread out of the bag containing the white bread. I included the despised "bottom slice", since everyone hates using it. I took a slice of cheese and bologna and put them on the breads respectively. I took the finished sandwiches and placed them into the toaster.
I stood idly by, leaning on the counter, waiting for something to finish off so I can combine them. Finally, the toast was ready. I took the two sandwiches and placed the on the plate, side by side. I opened them up and placed a fair amount of ketchup on the bread and left it opened. I noticed the eggs were nearing their end, so I took the Lemon-Pepper spice from my cabinet and the Sea Salt, and sprinkled them carefully onto my eggs. Finally, the eggs finished. So I picked them up with a spatula, and hovered them over the pan to allow the excess oil to drain off of them. I placed one egg on each of the sandwiches and closed them, ever so carefully. I took the finished product and my water to my room, and closed the door. As I was about to enter it, though,
I heard a faint creak coming from behind me.
I had a sudden rush of slight anxiety and ignored it completely. I sat down at my desk with my food and drink, and dismissed the noise completely. I sat down and began to go onto YouTube to allow me some other form of entertainment while I eat. I put on the latest episode of Tobuscus' Amnesia play through and I put on my good headphones for full effect. I sat there, with dim lights, picked up the first sandwich, and with the first bite, I broke the yoke of the egg and the delectable yellow sauce poured throughout the sandwich and began dripping on my plate. I watched the gameplay and laughed constantly through his comical adventures. The game, Amnesia: Dark Descent, is proclaimed as the scariest game ever.
You play as a man trapped in a castle-like environment, with now weapons and in any conflict with the horrific monsters, you are to run and hide. The game features many, many eerie noises and screams. I thought I heard a noise coming from the door, on my left side, but I dismissed it as another part of the game. I continued eating and drinking, and once I finished, I took my plate and cup to my kitchen to put them in the sink and to wash up. I opened the door and a sudden cold gust of air hit me, and I was startled. I went down the hall and into the kitchen, and put away my plate and cup. Very satisfied, I washed my face of the egg yoke and ketchup from my sandwiches, when I heard what seemed like a footstep behind me. I flung myself around to look at the door that led to the outside, which is right behind a person using the sink. Soap flew unto the floor like splatters of paint from a falling paint bucket. I found no one there, so I tried to ease myself and finished washing up. I took a couple of paper towels to clean up the minor mess I made.
I tossed the towels into the garbage and walked towards my room, and right before I entered, I turned around due to my paranoia. I saw what seemed like a shadow or a mist of smoke peering out of the corner at me. No facial or body features were distinguishable, it simply looked like a human body made of smoke. I looked into where it was and as soon as it came, it vanished. I was shocked and fearful. I turned around, entered my room, and shut my door and locked it. I sat on my bed contemplating what I just witnessed. I exited out of the window of Tobuscus' scary gameplay and my curiosity got the best of me. I went into my closet and picked up my small carpenter's hammer. I walked out of my room with it clenched in my hand and looked around the hall with my head sticking out of the doorway.
I began through my hallway slowly, and cautiously,
I peered into my bathroom at the end of the hallway and saw nothing but darkness. I turned on the light and entered the bathroom. I checked behind the door and behind the shower curtain, only to reveal nothing. I exited the room and went into my dining room, which has a clear view of my kitchen and living room. I had both hands gripped onto my hammer and walked around the large, glass table. I went into the corner of the dining room and proceeded to hug the wall that leads to my living room I saw nothing there except my TV on and playing static with a low and ominous "shhhhhhh" sound. I walked over, gripping my hammer so tightly that my fingers began to numb. I walked by the TV and turned it off. I went by my balcony and looked out to see if there was anyone there. Then as I began to ease up, since I just went through most of my house and found nothing, I heard the most eerie and blood curdling scream than I could possibly imagine.
My body was overcome by paralysis.
I stood there, clenching my hammer and frozen with the deepest fear I had ever experienced. I walked very slowly down my hallway and entered my room, where the sound originated from. The room was filled with a blood-red light, which engulfed me as soon as I opened the door. I heard a shuffling noise coming from my closet and I stepped in front of it. I entered a battle position and stood with my hand just off of the knob of the door, ready to open and strike whatever comes out. I quickly opened the door and saw all of my clothes on the floor. And when I looked at the wall, I saw something horrific. There was a pitch-black crow with both wings extended, nailed to the wall by the tips of his wings. Blood ran from its gory body while its beak was wide open and reeked of a decaying odor. Right underneath the dead poultry on the wall, was written in blood:
HOW WAS THAT EGG SANDWICH? 
I staggered back and fell onto my bed and dropped my hammer onto the floor by the foot of the bed. The room's lighting became darker and darker until it became pitch black. I scrambled on the floor to recover my lost weapon and finally found it. I sat upright with my back to my dresser, clenching the hammer with all my might, with my knees up and my head shoved into them with my eyes closed. I felt a presence haunting over me, but I sat in that same position for what seemed like hours. I kept getting thoughts of how this is possible? Why was this happening? Why me? I don't think I did anything wrong, at least, not to deserve this psychological torture. I very slowly began to raise my head, inch, by inch, until I was barely able to see what was in front of me. All I saw was a grueling figure, squatting right in front of me, face inches from mine, with a horrendously huge grin, staring straight into my eyes. His eyes were the color of death, and his presence was that of the devil himself. I shut my eyes as tight as I can and my damned curiosity got the best of me again, and I opened them up, ever so slightly, just to see the figure, not squatting, but standing over me. Shut my eyes again and I blacked out...
I woke up with my head lying on my desk and I was slouched in my chair. I looked around the room and saw nothing of what happened earlier. I sat back in my chair, drenched in sweat, with my clothes stuck to my skin. I stood up and stretched my back out. I walked slowly to my closet and opened it up, only to see that it was in usual order. My clothes were hung up, or folded on the shelf above. I excreted a sigh of relief and walked out of my room. It was daylight now, probably right before noon. I walked into my bathroom and washed my face. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that my eyes were bloodshot. I rubbed them out, as if that would fix it, but it did nothing. I exited the bathroom to get a glass of water, since I lost so much fluid from my profuse sweating, only to find that the faucet poured out blood and wouldn't cease spouting it, even if I shut the faucet. The sink was clogged with what looked like the intestines of a befallen animal. I staggered back in shock and awe, only to trip over something on the floor. I look over at my arm only to see bruises the size of golf balls all over, and I had a throbbing headache. I felt blood pouring out from the side of my head. I looked up, and standing over me was the figure, which excreted far more of an intimidating aura than before. He grew a huge grin and in his hand... was an Egg Sandwich.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:EVIL FOOD
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Old Shit