FunkyTown: The Horrible Truth About A Simple Song

YO GUYS! DR. SPLEEN HERE, AND I'M GONNA SHOW YOU MY FUNKYTOWN THEORY!
FunkyTown may be a happy Pop tune from the late 1970s made by Lipps Inc., but I'm gonna tell you right now, It's no ordinary song, It's a song about a terrible catastrophe that happened in 2th November, 1978 in New York City, United States.
First, let's analyze the catastrophe, what happened is that in November, 1978, a woman named Margaret Stacer Lipps was tired of struggling with issues with her family, It's because of financial issues, her husband's addiction to pornography (She always caught her husband jerking it while watching the old and dusty TV screen.), her mother's cancer diagnosis, and other stuff, anyway, it was a really difficult life to Margaret.
Fed up with her life, She decides to move to a town called Baysmorth in Texas. She plans and packs secretly from her husband, who confronts her. This turns into a heated argument where hurtful words are told. Margaret leaves abruptly, locking the door behind her with a padlock. She proceeds with her plan, booking a flight and boarding with her old motorbike. Tragically, the airplane crashes mid-flight due to a malfunction in the airplane engines, resulting in her death along with all passengers. Legend has it her spirit haunts Baysmorth, appearing at night to hypnotize people into dancing with her. 
Now that the legend is told, let's focus now on the lyrics, the first line starts with "Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me", this refers to Margaret moving to the Baysmorth town, to aliviate her stress with her life issues, judging by the "town that's right for me". The second line is "Town to keep me movin', Keep me groovin' with some energy", It refers to the legend, it's probably a reference to her spirit dancing in people's homes to make them dance as well. The third line is "Well, I talk about it, talk about it, Talk about it, talk about it, Talk about, talk about, Talk about movin'", this is a bit difficult to make up, but it's probably referring to the people talking about the incident, and the legend. The fourth line is "Gotta move on", which is another reference to Margaret moving to Baysmorth. The fifth and final line is "Won't you take me to Funkytown?", the "FunkyTown" in this song is referring to Baysmorth, It's called "FunkyTown" because of the town's cultures, which mostly involve good music, hence why, and the line is referring to the fact that the incident is gonna make people go explore Baysmorth to see if it is really haunted with that spirit, this is the final line of the song, since it repeats 3 times, which suggests that the spirit of Margaret is on an endless cycle of pain.
Now let's analyze the song itself, the song's genre is Pop, which is Margaret's favorite genre when she was alive, and another crazy one is the fact that the song has 2 versions: The album version, and the single version, the album version is 7:50 long, and the single version is 3:59 long, let's do some basic math.
If you sum 7+3, it's equals 10, and if you sum up 50 + 53, it's equals 103, but don't worry, there's more!
If you subtract 50-7, It gives you 43, and if you subtract 53-3, it gives you 3!
AND IF YOU DO THIS COMPLEX MATH EQUATION: 103-10=93, 93-7 GIVES YOU 86, AND 86-3 GIVES YOU 83, WHICH IS MARGARET'S EXACT AGE!
Which means that Margaret was 83 when she died, very suprising, indeed!
So this is the theory, hope y'all enjoyed, and see you in the next trollpasta!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:THERY
Category:Satire
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Music