nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
I Am Going To Kill Your Brother

Do you have any idea what your brother has just done to me? Well I’m going to fucking kill him for it. Here’s the story.
==It was a pleasant day, at the Taco Bell==
As you know, we decided to take a walk to the Taco Bell, to have some scrumptious diarrhea wrapped in tortilla with a side of nachos. But because your stupid little brother, Luke, was too young to be left home alone, your parents forced you to bring that annoying, monkey-faced retard with us to the Taco Bell. Now I was calm and orderly about this, I was even nice to him once on the way over there, but on the way back, do you have any idea what that little punk pulled?
==He threw my fucking Taco on the ground==
That’s right; he fucking threw it on the filthy ground, rendering it inedible by any sensible human being. I don’t even know why the fuck he did it. He seemed to be whining about being in pain or something, but his bursting appendix is no excuse for ruining my perfectly good taco. I immediately struck him for this unforgivable offense, but I don’t feel that justice has truly been served yet. But i dont care about all his fucking sins cause he is sooooooooo SEXY!!!
==That was a Special Taco== 
Do you realize how special that taco was? The retarded teenager working the orders screwed up the tray and accidently put that taco on my order free of charge. It was like the Taco Gods had smiled upon me that day, and bestowed upon me this delicious gift from their own personal taco bar. That would have been fucking awesome! But now, I will never know what that heavenly, possibly infallible taco tastes like. All because of your stupid fucking brother.
==I Will Kill Him==
Now I know that your brother is only 10, is borderline retarded, and is probably already brain dead from all those hours he spends on WoW, but I swear to the Taco Gods that he spit on, that I will kill him. I don’t know how I’ll do it yet, but I don’t care if it takes me two years of planning, I will kill this 10-year old who threw my taco on the ground.
==See also==
*Murder
*Your Brother is Dead 
Category:UnStories
Category:Random
Category:Crime
Category:Bat Fuck Insane
Category:Articles written in the first person
I Can't Believe It's Not

I Can't Believe It's Not... is a common phrase often used within: 
*I Can't Believe It's Butter
*I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
*I Can't Believe It's Not Hitler
*iCan't Believe It's Not iPod
*I Can't Believe It's Not Murder
*I Can't Believe It's Not Terrorism
*I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green
*I Can't Believe It's Not The Illuminati
*I Can't Believe It's Not Liberalism!
*I Can't Believe It's Not Emo
*I Can't Believe It's Not Torture
*I Can't Believe It's Not Countdown
*I Can't Believe It's Not Music
*I Can't Believe It's Not Existent
*I Can't Believe It's Not True
*I Can't Believe It's Not Mac
*I Can't Believe It's Not PlayStation
*I Can't Believe It's Not Uncyclopedia
*I Can't Believe It's Not Unilever
*I Can't Believe It's Not Virgin
*I Can't Believe It's Not Whoring Herself
*I Can't Believe It's Not An Article
*I Can't Believe It's Not A Hyperlink
I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green

I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green® is a brand of human flesh low in sodium, saturated fat, and trans fat. It is a popular condiment for people on the South Beach diet, though it predates the diet by decades.
The name comes from the marketing claims that the product has the same taste qualities as regular Soylent Green, but with the apparent "easy to spread" properties of margarine.
==Invention==
I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green® was invented and patented by German celebrity chef Armin Meiwes after investigating reports that regular Soylent Green, while high in protein, may be partially to blame for the growing obesity problem in Central Europe. After numerous tests with industrial blenders and fractional distillation columns and high-speed centrifuges, he came up with I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green®, which he described as "a healthy, low-fat meal... with all the benefits of real cannibalism and only half the calories." The German government was so impressed with his work that I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green® was made compulsory eating in all government-controlled school cafeterias. Several other countries have since followed suit.
==Advertising Campaign==
German rock band Rammstein composed the song Mein Teil to promote I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green®. The song, which was nominated for a Grammy in the category of "Highest Bribe by a Metal Band", described I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green® as:
: just so well seasoned."
:and so nicely flambéed.
:and so lovingly served on porcelain.
:And with it, a good wine
:and gentle candlelight
:Yeah I'll take my time
:You've got to have some culture
Full lyrics here: .
Hannibal Lecter also reprised his oscar-winning role as cannibal Anthony Hopkins for the US ad campaign. These ads were targeted primarily at an elderly audience. In it, Hopkins said: "I'm pushing 65, and I still have fantasies about devouring the flesh of young people. My doctor told me that if I brutally murdered more people, I would risk another heart attack. That's why I choose I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green®". 
It is also fair to mention here that they have launched a marketing campaign for the "I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green®" Little Oven in which little girls around the globe can make their own "I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green®." Parents are also exploring this as a way to encourage learning history as well as suggesting to their child's unlikable friend, "Why don't you go play Donner Party kids?"
Category:I Can't Believe It's Notcategory:Food
I Can't Believe It's Not The Illuminati

The I Can't Believe It's Not The Illuminati is a well known secret society founded by Wilfred von Plunk (former member of ClayPigeonSite) in Bavaria in 1777, following the disappearance of the Illuminati. This so enraged Illuminati leader Adam Weishaupt that he mooned von Plunk's house. However, such is the veil of secrecy that surrounds the Illuminati, no one ever saw him do it.
From this humble and enmooned beginning, the I Can't Believe It's Not The Illuminati went on to retroactively claim credit for every conspiracy since the dawn of time; however, no one believes them. This doesn't stop adherents of the organisation from trying. To this very day ICBINTIers will seek out conversations about the Kennedy Assassination and just sit there, nodding mysteriously. When asked who they think did it, they will reply "who indeed?" and walk off. This fools nobody.
==How to Join==
To join, you must have a) taken one shot at John F. Kennedy or b) stolen and detonated a nuclear weapon.
==Known members of the ICBINTI==
* That obnoxious geek in high school who was always trying to one-up you. I coulda edited this better than you.
* Hagbard Celine
* That shady guy over there
* David Icke
* Ralph Nader
* Waldo
* Yugioh
* Pegasus the flying Mall Rat that Stole the blouse you were looking at in the Gap
* The Holy Order of Free Masons
* Oscar Wilde
* God- although he's only in it for the free snacks
* Tim "Snackpak" LaMay
* Sarah Michelle Gellar and the Reconstituted International Peoples Church of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the Scooby Gang
* Calvin Coolidge
* Gumby
* Light Yagami
* The Vatican
* Satan and all Satan's bitches
* The Annunaki and Paul the Alien
* Herbie
* Elmo
* Renn Scott
* Jean Claude Van Dyke
* The Clintons
* Rich western world leaders
* Harry Potter and Edward Cullen (they only pretend to be enemies to keep the secret a secret)
==See Also==
* illuminati
 
category:Secrets
I Can't Believe it's Not Murder

<choose><option>
</option><option>
</option></choose>
I Can't Believe it's Not Murder is becoming an increasingly popular alternative to murder often used as a defense for murders allegedly committed by celebrities, professional athletes, and rich people. While it is technically the same as regular murder, it has the distinction of not being illegal, and is therefore highly preferable as a conviction. The practice has its roots in California, where O.J. Simpson was the first to be charged with murder, acquitted and convicted of the lesser charge of I Can't Believe it's Not Murder in 1994. Since then, I Can't Believe It's Not Murder has been the violent crime of choice committed by the rich and famous.
==Origin==
The name was coined by a juror at Simpson's trial after he thoroughly reviewed the evidence and came to the conclusion that O.J's involvement did not, in fact, amount to murder. Baffled at the uncanny resemblance however, he proclaimed "I can't believe it's not murder!"
==Licensing and branding==
Shortly after I Can't Believe it's Not Murder's success in O.J. Simpson's trial, his lawyers patented the use of I Can't Believe it's Not Murder as a defense and are currently licensing it to those charged with qualifying crimes for a nominal fee of 20 Million US dollars per use. The lack of commission of I Can't Believe it's Not Murder by average people is in no way related to this fee.
O.J. went on to advertise the product in a series of TV ads that recreated his criminal trial. Though widely considered in poor taste, they did introduce popular culture to the famous catchphrase, "if you use this spread, you'll skip Club Fed".
==Off-brands==
The most widely known off-brand of I Can't Believe it's Not Murder is I Can't Believe it's Not Rape, created by Kobe Bryant in 2005. Since then, other athletes, celebrities, and CEOs have seized the opportunity and committed I Can't Believe it's Not Substance Abuse, I Can't Believe It's Not Insider Trading, I Can't Believe It's Not Regicide, and I Can't Believe It's Not Committing A Lewd Act Upon A Child popularised by Michael Jackson, among others. Despite the popularity of these off-brands, I Can't Believe it's Not Murder remains the most widely committed crime by the wealthy.
Category:Not food
Category:O.J. Simpson
Category:FA Crime
Category:Murder
Category:Products
I Fucking Love John "Bermuda" Schwartz

No, seriously. John "Bermuda" Schwartz is fucking awesome. Agree with me? You're awesome too. I have scientific evidence on my side. John "Bermuda" Schwartz is the very definition of classical music, and may even be an incarnation of Moses himself. Here's why.
==John "Bermuda" Schwartz==
John "Bermuda" Schwartz is an American drummer in the area of Travis Barker from blink-182, Lars Ulrich, and Proscriptor. The idea is that you draw lines between these drummers and then inside the triangle there is Bermuda. Simple!...if someone knew who Proscriptor was. "Oh noes mommy! The evil black metal drummer is going to rape me in the rectum!!!" Grow up! John "Bermuda" Schwartz is no less than "Weird Al" Yankovic's life-long drummer, and here's a hint: Al's band is 100% awesomeness. These are the same people that came up with perfect albums like Off the Deep End and Alapalooza, and now you're trying to tell me that this one specific member of the band armed with drum sticks is going to come out like the latest part of the Alien saga and be nothing else but awesome? No way, because that part was no doubt lame and John "Bermuda" Schwartz is definitely awesome.
Hell, Paris of Hilton, the world's biggest largest blowage facilty, whose fucking job is to know which drummers will suck or, contrary, be sucked most often, says that John "Bermuda" Schwartz is a piece of work. She will charge you extra to suck your cock if you tell her you are John "Bermuda" Schwartz. And by Moses, if Paris Hilton will charge a drummer higher premiums for blowing him, then the odds are pretty strong that said drummer is awesome.
==Bermudas==
I have many Bermudas in my underwear drawer. Bermudas are so comfortable. There's no way a Bermuda won't be comfortable because no human being has testicles so big that it will become too crowded inside the Bermuda. Unless you're John "Bermuda" Schwartz.
Also, thongs are the natural enemy of Bermudas because one is narrow and one-dimensional and one is wide and three-dimensional. Thongs are lame and thus would not permit a Bermuda in their neighborhood. There are no thongs in my drawer.
And even given that I would own a thong and given that it laid near a Bermuda, why would I want to fill it with my testicles? I can think of much better uses for that thong. Strangle the person who invented the thongs, for example! In shorts, thongs are lame and Bermudas are awesome.
==Say Something, Dammit==
Merciful meatballs, can we start hearing about John "Bermuda" Schwartz? How can you not express your love for this drumming awesomeness? You can't! Yes, that goes for this article too. You must read it in complete.
Hell, this article is over now. You fucking love John "Bermuda" Schwartz.
----
Category:Drummers
Category:Musicians 
Category:Awesome
Category:"Weird Al" Yankovic
Category:Love
Category:FA Musicians
I MIGHT BE TOO DUR K

OH GOD I THI KS ITS HAPPE
I AM SOOTO DURNK!
RAHB MAY ME DO IT$!
ZOMBIE NO PLAY HAMES WITH ME!!!!!
CREME DE MITH3!!!! LOL
RAH BS SAYDI HE WOULD GFEAATUERE! EONT' DBE UDM! THINK OF OUT QULAITY!
LLOOOOOOOOOL. NO SUCH THING AS TOO DURK.
category:Accidentally-created memes
I Think Satan Likes Your Mom/Master Of Drunkards

1987's Master Of Drunkards is the second album by "Tr00" thrash metal outfit I Think Satan Likes Your Mom.
==Rippin' Off MetallicaOrion==
This album is actually a complete ripoff of Metallica's Master of Puppets album, which was released a year earlier and was considered a landmark thrash record. Frontman George W. Bush decided that he would rip off a groundbreaking album because he thought "it would make Daddy proud!". In addition, bassist Les Claypool (who until the point of the recording of this album was showing no enthusiasm for ITSLYM what so ever) saw it as an opportunity to get revenge on Metallica after they refused to accept him as a replacement for original harp player Rick Moranis (Note: Moranis died in a bizarre Black Death revival thing that only infected him). Claypool was infuriated that Metallica left him stuck with this "Crappy poser band led by a redneck jackass". New members Scott Ian and Steve Vai did absolutely nothing except help write a few songs and record the album.
==Controversy==
When the album was released in February 1987, Lars Ulrich immediately sued the band for A Lot Of Frickin' Dollars because he claims that "[the band] ripped off my album, and I would have wanted the money anyway." James Hetfield demanded he get 1,000 dollars separately from the band, citing he needed more money to get into alcohol rehab, and Kirk Hammett demanded 5 dollars because Lars told him to. Metallica won the lawsuit but got accused of being sell-outs and racists for the first time. Immediately after this, the band's former lead guitarist Dave Mustaine sued the band for not crediting him for his own rip-off of Metallica's "Orion", "Artemis". However, nobody believes a word that little bitch Dave says.
In addition "The Dick That Should Not Be" caused controversy with lesbian rights groups around the world.
==Track Listing==
#Duracell
#Master Of Drunkards
#The Dick That Should Not Be
#Welcome Home (Salmonella)
#Disposable Condoms
#Sharing is Caring with Bombs
#Leper Diahorrea
#Artemis [Instrumental]
#Monsters Inc.
#Eyes Falling Apart (Bonus Track, Featuring Mike Patton)
==Personnel==
*George W. Bush-Lead vocals, rhythm guitar
*Les Claypool-Bass, backing vocals
*Scott Ian-Lead guitar
*Steve Vai-Drums
*Mike Patton-Lead vocals on "Eyes Falling Apart"
==See Also==
*I Think Satan Likes Your Mom
Category:Article subpages
I Write Sins Not Tragedies

Oh-woah. Well imagine as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear a rattling in the walls. What in the blazes am I hearing? Mice having sex? Is this an earthquake? I, myself, better go check out what is causing this annoying shake. Plus, a wedding is scheduled. Who wants to hold a wedding with constant shaking? No one, that's right.
So I go to the wall, right? And I knock on the wall. Seems harmless, right? WRONG. The wall knocked on me harder. There seemed to be something in there, and it was mad; thirsty for destruction. Of course, what kind of dumbass would let this situation go? If you said to yourself "I would'", then just stop reading and just go delete system32.
I know, I know. What kind of sinner would penetrate the church's body? Who would destroy the wall of a church? I would. So I took my sledgehammer and slammed that shit. That wall broke like a baby in the arms of a child killer. Whatever was in that wall, or whoever was (possibly Satan?) in that wall didn't wish to be seen. Especially after bugging the pursuer.
But finally, that pest came out into the light, and showed itself. This thing wasn't just any creature, in fact the whole idea that what I stumbled upon actually was doing actions of its own was mind boggling; it defied all laws, theories and scientific studies ever done by mankind in all ways possible. Some might call what I stumbled upon "the Devil's playtoy", or maybe even "satanic". One could go as far as saying it is "playing God" or "imitating thy almighty father" and that "I will get smited for this little incident". But you wanna know what I have to say to that? 
FUCK THEM.
In fact, how would they like to be sentenced to death in my little notebook here?
Here, my friends, is the Notebook in which I write names in and they become damned and do evil things and/or kill themselves or die somehow preferably by murder as witnessed in one of the ways seen in Final Destination and/or Saw with the gruesome level multiplied by exactly 100 times!(and no, it's not a cheap copy of Death Note. even if they look the exact same and do the exact same. fuck you for thinking that.)
== Watch and see ==
MomUncle BillyRyan SeacrestDaddySarah PalinJustin BieberDarth VaderCommunistsAll of my teachers I had in high schoolThe guy who invented mathJeff Bridges
== And now ==
BURN FUCKER.
Category:Sin
Category:Songs
Category:Writing
Category:Emo
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
I am bored

I am bored. Entertain me. Please.
==Please help me kill my boredom==
I am soooo bored, please help me be not bored, or bored'nt. Anything would entertain me. A game, a joke, 15 more jokes, words, or litterally anything else. Heck, im so bored, I'll even prefer watching My Little Pony to what im doing now.
==Watching my little pony==
This is soo baaaadd!! Someone kill me!! I'll do ANYTHING to not watch this! Save me from this satanic torture! I'm so bored I'm dying!!!
==Erm so booored==
What am I going to do.. Im so bored.
==You're so bored==
You must be bored if you are reading this page. You must be. Why else would you be wasting your life on a site like Uncyclopedia? This place is a waste of time, yet you continue to read this site. No wonder you're so bored! You have no friends!HA HA! It's so fun insulting you!
==Why I'm editing Uncyclopedia==
Because I'm bored, silly. I'm helping to improve the quality of the internet by adding hard, solid facts to sites like Uncyclopedia. What is Wikipedia? What do you mean it's a fact wiki? That sounds so boring. Speaking of which, that reminds me,
==Im so bored==
KILL ME I'll do anything that isnt doing nothing right now, just fucking KILL ME or save me OR SOMETHING!!!
Oh look, pr0n!
Category:Boredom
I before E except after C

Language is strange. And the strangeness of language is taught at schools. At schools, we learnt the strangeness of language called I before E except after C, that has caused many people great distress. It is also very strange. I mean, how many times has a word been wrongly spelt because of that stupid rule and your spelling bee lost because of it? 
Where did it come from in the first place? Latin, probably. Stupid Latin. Stupid Romans who invented Latin. You have ruined human society. Well, close to it. Your silly Latin has ruined our language. 
I mean, why isn't unnecessary spelt unesercary? Or unessasary? Why isn't you spelt U, or why spelt Y? Why is it that these stupid rules have to stay? Why does a stupid civilisation that was wiped out by barbarians get to govern how we speak? Why does I come before E? 
The thing is, that's not even always the rule! There are heaps of words that have I before E after C. Which just makes it more stupid. How do you distinguish the words? Has the rule been purposely made to confuse us? Does that mean that teachers are evil? Are they aliens? WHY ON EARTH DO WE HAVE TO WRITE IN A WAY THAT RESPECTS LATIN?
What has Latin ever done for us?
Sometimes it is also said as "I before e except after c, or when sounding like ay as in neighbor or weigh, and on weekends, and holidays, and all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong, no matter what you say!", which is just another confusion in the human world.
==See also==
*Spelling
*Latin
Category:Grammar
Category:Language
Category:Phrases
Category:Things created whilst high on pot
I don't believe I know you

I don't believe I know youHey, you there. I see you there in the middle of this dimly lit street.You're in the shadows, I see, but you've been following me for quite a while.
__NOTOC____NOEDITSECTION__
===Hey, come on===
Why don't you come into the glow of the streetlight? Is there something you don't want me to see?I'd like to know who you are and why you're so interested in my whereabouts.
===Ah, here you come===
Ah, yes. I see you coming towards me now. I see that you are quite an interesting fellow,but I'll never judge a book by it's cover. I like your coat. It's very stylish.
===Hey... wait...===
H- hey, what are you doing? Is that a knife? Wait, what did I do to you? Did I say something?Oh SHIT! Oh God, OH GOD. LEAVE ME ALONE. POLICE! POLICE! HELP! ANYONE HELP! I AM TOO YOUNG TO DIE!
===No, NO!===
DON'T HURT ME! PLEASE! DON'T HURT ME! AAAAAAAAA! AAAAHH... ahh. ah... *thud*
It's a bloody mess out here. Please find someone to clean it up.
Category:Articles written in the first person