Game of War: Profit Age

I pay geams. I decently started downloading game of war: fire age on my iPone 10S, because I was loving the ad for it in my playing of futurama: game of thrones. Back then, I was playing futurama: game of thrones, and then I found an ad for game of war: fire age in my futurama: game of thrones game. After I ran out of energy, I watched a video, and I found an ad.
The ad has grass, some people on a field, and a hotwarm lady with vuluptious pecsies, whatever her name was, I don't know. Anyway, she says "your empires have a wold to member you." Then her face is seen. "It's where your dreams come to lie." then she threw pixie dust on some stones. After the dust cleared, gold was raining against a burning background. Then we get another closeup of her pecsies jumping. I saw that woman again, pushing the fire. I loved it. Then, she jumps onto the screen, and says "Pay now, my lord!"
Then came the logo. "game of war: play for free now in the app store." It was burning. Then I saw the app, some warrior dude was roaring with drool on the mouth, like that cash of clans game I deleted two weeks ago.
Then I stopped playing futurama: game of thrones, and installed it, which is now done. I played the game, because it was advertised "addictive". Puls, the description says critics love it, and it has a shiny plate on the app store front.
I tapped the app, and found the logo again. It was not coal, but I can tell it's iron. Then a quick black fade.
A black screen had a spinning firecracked. Loading?
Then is the title screen. The title screen had the title, and besides the pecs lady, that warrior dude from the app. He was as handsome as a depressed toaster.
The buttons contained "Login" and "Make account". I tapped "Make account". Then I see a burnt scroll with the text. I scrolled down, down, down... It can fill 27 screens, it was that long. Nobody reads these, they just need to say "You ageer to those guidelines of not acriminate people" or something.
Now I realized that the game uses internet. I know my cuntry doesn't support internet because rule 34 broke the law.
Anyway, the game told me to make an account name. I typed in... Facon. It sticks. I tap next.
Then the game asks me for a date. I put in 31 march 2017. I tap next again.
Then I saw a stone on sky. The rock held a man. He was just like an alligator was a pear fence.
The game asks me "Who are you?". I made my character, because I know MMos before this. I made it as snooty as an Emu can be. At this point, I want to poke a kiwi. I tap next.
Game says "cunclaturations. Tou can play now!" I tapped play below the phrase, and then I can play the game. This will bee fun.
Icy a field, and a MOWAN. Actually, the woman was from the ads, just liek a chinese carton. She has a scroll underneath her window that says. "Hello, welcome to game of war: fire age. I'm the tutorial, and I'll be helping you." I've played strategy befor, so I don't need it.
There is no skip button.
"Before you can build your kindom, you need to build a hall." The fild then moves to corridor buildin. At least seven arrows were moving and pointing at the building corridor.
"Do you see that hall? That is the hall. People visit here." I see the hall. The tutorial then says "To build buildings, you need more resources." Then 3 arrows pointed at the top, where gold is seen on a wooden plank alongside a binch of empy beans.
"Tap the hall." The tutorial said. 8 arrows pointed at hall. I tap the hall. Then came a wooden window with paper on it. It says "Kingdom hall. Your most important building. It needs to be upgraded before you can upgrade." Below was the upgrade button, which belwo says "Let's you let build buildings to build beyond level 2." The tutorial said. "See the number? That is the resources you need. Each building needs resources to build and upgrade." Nine arrows pointed at the upgrade button, which was next to the upgrade button.
"Let's spend some hold." the tuturial woqan said. "Tap the upgrade button. It's below the description of the building." Ten arrows at the upgrade button back to the upgrade button. "Here is some free gold." The totural said. I tap again. Another bean came on the wooden plank on the screen, this time with a coin, and a 25 in the emoty bean.
"Upgrade the town hall with the gold you're given." The arros began flashing. It's a lightshow. I tap Upgrade.
The window quickly faaded. Numbers next to the hold bean reduces from 25 to 0, revealing a timer of 58 years. "Building buildings costs time. Let's speed up time by spending gold." the tutorisl wonam said. "Here is some free gold." The gold number in the bean wnet from 0 to 9375891 gold.
"Tap on the arrows on the bar." Eleven arrows pointed at the two arrows on the bar under the hal. I tap the bar.
Al gold came out, and the building is builded. "You're leaning well." the tutorial wokam said.
"I'll be in the town hall. I'll learn you once you build more buildings." The toturial wojan is gone.
Another plank came our of the bottom of the sceen. Fiv buttons on the plankm,incuding Kingdom, Army, Hero, Other, and Shop. The shop was in shinning gold. I was jumping. Once. Then I was done with the jump. Why is there a shop in the game? Isn't there a sop in the game?
The tutorali wolan came again. "See the bar at the bottom of the screen?"
The tuurals cuntineud for another 4 hours.
Finnaly, I'm done with the tutorials. 2 hours and my balls were shaking.
I have a town hall, a baracks to recuit poeple, a pub for promoting beer-free beer, as in beer with extra beer, with more beer to beer with the beer, making the beer beer beer. Beer.
Then we get the fram. Het famr was a corp growing place. I make palts there. We have the balcksmit, which fogres stuff, I thhink? Then we have the gayts. The gayts serve as gayts by being a gayt to the other kingdoms that pay the game. The gayt also keeps out the people.
Then the screen cut to black.
A harsh screech was heard, along with a bleeding face. The face had dark blue skin, orange eyes, teeth to the cheek, freckles on every freckle, and with EX realistic blood blood everywhere. The screech and feac continued for 2 seconds. Then it faded out and my kingdom faded back in.
A window popped up. "Your kingdom has been attacked by: Maczonjini. You lost 10959 stone, 583 wood, 1954 oaks, 49250 strains of sand, 416 pounds of lumber, 1745 piles of supplies, and 927 various other items."
"Grahg, banghed." I said, and tapped close beneath the window. My sulppies are gone.
I spent days playing this gam now, and I saw that face and screech every day every 12 minutes. Yestreday, the popup came saying "Pay 1250 gold to stop the screecher." I can payt to no longer be scared. Why are people sacred?
Finally, I tapped on shop. I found a shop. The shop has gold bundles, at the $2.99, $7.99, $14.99, $27.99, $64.99, $119.99, $349.95, $584.99, and the $999.99 bundle, which is the Best Value. The thousand bucks bundle contains enough gold to speed up 150 years of timers, upgrade everything trice, and get the VIP level to 3. I don't spend anything. I have too much in my pocket to give out to money copmanies. The shpo has all things.
Immunity to attacks for 3 weeks for 600 gold, 7 month of tripled defense for 496701 gold, the super super duper duper booka dooka hammer of smashy smasher stuffs, the most powerflu sledgegammer of the game, waterskiing lions, a car, and one extra bean for timer items. There is also the name change, the instant level up, and banning a random user for 4 days, all for the low low price of 7210653 shmeggers.
The screecher is back, and my kingdom was attacked. I lost more resources, this time by GhammedCruiser27. It put me under a tack every two hours, and my phon was screaming each night whenever I'm attacked.
I feel.... Cold.
At this pont, I cam to realiz: Who did this? Who wandet this? Who has the briliant idae of doing this? So far, I had paywalls every 14 minutes for 4 days, 4 WHOLE DAYS!! I can't do it, I can't do it, I just can't do it. You can? You better can about canning the can, because canning is what can't can can!
Game of war: fire age is the most hungry hippo I've ever seeeen. It asks for money, it has sex objects for marketing, invaded televisions for 3 days now, every ad on PC and phoens had one these sex ads for the game, the graphics look hideous, the paying players farm free payers every day, a premium membership costs way too little at the high low price of 27581093 bloody bucks, and I'm uninstalling the game.
I quit the game, held the icon, all the icons started shaking, but this game of war game app icon shook more. I tapped the X on the right, and confirmed to delete the game. The fone asks if I can keep the gam records in the gem center. I tap, No! The app is now gone. I put the fone on my tabel, and went outside.
This is a bice weather, what a wonderful weather, I've never wet weathers this wet with a weather wether I wet the weather or wether not. I walked to the city, clouds flooed the syk. I fond a familiar face. It was myt noyt too recent fiend, amp.
Amp ran onto me."Never play game of war!" he said. He was shaking like sanba.
"I played game of war." I said.
"You WHAT!?" He jumped.
"I deleted it. It wants money"
Amp grabbed me. "Tell everyone, tell everyone to stop playing that game! It drives people maddeningly mad!"
"OK"
Amp stopped grabbing me. "I need to go. The city of Aimbale won't survive a week with a game as dangerous as war!" He then ran off, occasionally jumping.
It was very quiet around here. I don't rmeber a ball of string rolling around. "Wait, is that a blall of string!?" I ran after the ball of string, but stopped at the nrws paper. I picked uip the newd paper, and read the nswf paper.
Let's C... Game of war: fire age is highest grossing mobile game of all time, Game of war: earth age currently in development.
dmanitt!! Everything game of war is here! I looked for sumthing NOT game of war, and I fink I fond it: Parent murders child after child rakes in a $50000 bill from free mobile game.
Fcuk.
I heard some comotion. I put th nder paper away, and saw some people ahead, they were screaming and running and jumping onto windows. They sound like some ostrich balls humping a lit dynamite.
I walked over to the people. After all, people need people that need people, right, people?
Above one of the buildings I was aboot to wak by, a nude man with a foot beard jumped off the bank I was walking by.
§FOOF*"WOUCH!!" the nude beardman landed on me, and I was lieing on the ground... The nude beardman got off and ran, I cold onyl see him running into a building, before I colapsed.
A day passes, I was not aware of what was happenin to me. I couldn't be away. I was gon.
I finnaly wok up. This is not my city! Tis just sum grass plain in the middle of... Tarp choppers.
"GRENTEN!!! HACHTH!!!" I heard the shouting of a man, about the 38s, I think?
I got up. This is not a plain, there are fences evrywer, and people next to the line oF, WoAhoh!
I immediately begaN staying in line with the line next to me. What is this palce?
Then FinAlly, I got a glimpse of the shoutiNg man. He loks like 31, has an EXTREME mad Frown on hIs face, a slightly short bear, pierciNg Eyes, and a first full of furry.
"SHMECHTENG!!! HACHTH!!" the man shouyted. Everyon immediatly stod still. I tied doing the same.
"SHARPHALL!!!" the man shouteed again, in my directiojn. Oh my dude loving saviour, he wil punch me.
"YOU!!!" the man pointed at me. "YOU THINK YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE THE WAR A WAR OF GENERATIONS!?!" I only nodded. I don't want to be punched, I don't want to be punched, I just want to drinka punch.
"YOU LACK VOCABULARY FOR A TYPICAL PLAYING PERSON!!! SPEAK OUT AND SHOUT IT OUT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!!!" he shoutin in front of my face.
"Sir, yes sir!" I said afraidedly.
"GOOD!!!" the man screamed in front of my face. I felt like a fan.
"NOW!!!" the man walked away from me and the row of people, then turned around.
"AS SHOMRAPH THE 27TH OF THE SNAKE WRESTLING GUARDIANS!!! I SHALL BRING YOU CHUMPETS ON THE MOST EXCITED EXPERIENCE SINCE GOOSE TICKLING!!!"
Is his name shomraph? I want to run away, but I don't him to punch me, even though the fnce was open to left.
I heard another voice: "Sir, you have to accept that not every single person has the will to fight for a desire, sir!"
The man walked up to our row: "YOU DARE TO INTERFERE WITH MY VISION!?!"
"No sir, not at all!" The voice was getting a bit sacred. "Please don't punnish me! I just want other people to give a chance!"
"YOU BACON SHITTING STINKBAG!!! YOU CALL YOURSELF A CHEESE COOKER!?!"
*SHPEN*
I heard a body exploding, EX realistic blood blood came on the ground as well as at least 5 other peole. I saw the blood on the right.
"WHO ELSE DARES OBJECT TO OUR OBJECTIVE?!?" I don't say anything...
We were silent. Shomraph was walking down the row of people, staring with a mean angry look on his face. Most peopl who look at him shake and sweat like a fish of boxes.
I heard a cough..."WAS THAT A RIDICULE ON OUR SUSPENSE!?!"
"No no no no! I just sufer a cold, I swear!!"
Shomraph put his hand into a gun position, pionted it at himself, and then at the man. Then he continued walking, until he saw me...
"YOU!!! YOU'RE NEW HERE!!!"
"Of course, of course! I'm new!"
"DON'T PLAY POINT THE CHAIR, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!! THIS MISSION WILL BE THE MOST DISASTROUS SENSATION SINCE THE GREAT TOASTER FLOOD OF 1486!!!"
"I understand!" I said in fer.
"UNDERSTAND WHAT!??"
"I understand, sir!"
"GOOD!!!" he shouted at me again. So this is ahwt a miltirary sounds like. Shomraph walked off again, then stopped and turned to us...
"TODAY WILL BE TRAINING DAY!!! TOMORROW WE WILL DECLARE WAR ON THE DORANIANS, THE DESPICABLEST BREAD KNITTERS OF THE FASHION BRAND!!!"
I head another voice. "Sir, what is this fight worht doing for?"
Shomraph shouted back: "DON'T ASK ME!!! YOU MUST ASK THE GOVERNMENT!!! NOW GO TO THE TRAINING ZONE!!! SERIOUS!!! NOW NOW NOW!!!"
Everyone walked to the right, except one that tried going left to outside.
"BAKNAZ!!!" Shompra shouted to the running man, very quickly running and jumping to outside and in front of him.
"WHERE THE FCUK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING THIS TIME!?! THE TRAINING ZONE WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!"
The other man just sat down and cried while shaking heavily.
"THAT'S IT!!! YOU'VE MEDDLED ON OUR GROUNDS FOR THE LAST TIME!!!" Shomraph shouted at him.
"DOIZEND VOISHTEN, VREPURTSELLEN DIE ACHTARBALLEKE KEND VAHN SHLAAHT!!!" he shouted incomperhensible wods, and kicked the man in the air. He jumped, and drew out a giant sowrd at least three times size. He slashed and slashed the slashes and slashed the slashy slasher of the sash that slashes sashes on slashing sash, threw the slashing slashy slasher in the air, punch the punch out of the man, kicked him, grabbed the sword, punches, kicks, slashes, it goes on for 27 seconds, and then I saw a bright light from his sowrd.
"ALTIEME GHEHAIM TECHNEK!!! SHONGDU HWANG GA XONDEN!!!" a giant lazer beam shot out of the sowrd nd him. The lazer went on all the way back, and I could hear screams from behind me. Once the lazer wore off, the man couldn't be seen anymore. Shomraph landed on the ground and walked back to this pleca...
"WHO WANTS TO BE NEXT!?!" he shouted. I ran ran rein, oh yes, it started raining, in the rain I ran to the training zone while it's raining, so training is while raining still, so training and raining will rain the trains, to the rainers train trains about raining rain on trains, train on rains raining trains on rains, training the rains on train rains.
In the training zon, people were jumping tarmpolins, having catfights on ice, breakdancing on small platforms, an... Target parctive?
"DON'T STAND!!! GO!!! GO!!" I heard him, and immediately ran. I didn't know what to do, so I ran to thte target parctice.
"Hey!" I heard another voice at the target practice. "So you're one of the few target practices, eh? Well, you're not going places without some targets to practice." The voice came from a small speaker with ac miropone aboce it.
"Name?"
"Name? Is that all? You're not talking a lot, right?" the voice said. "It's not important. Here, take this"
A boc opened out of the wall belwo the speakre and micropone. Inside was a... It looks like a bazooka launcher.
"It's light. We put in ballons in it all the time, so it's wieght." the voice said.
I picked up the bazooka launcher jigger, and held it up on my shoulder, now to aim the tagret. I pull the trigger, and...
An apple shot out of the launcher, it landed on the fllorr target on the florr. there is a target on the floor, I was suppossedt o shoot the wall!
*BSHAAA* the apple exploded brightly.
"Appselent!" the voice said. "Try another one. W e pring applesto the zone each week with printers.
"I shot another apple on the target. It was slightly of, but I did the doing competenyl, ain't?*BSHAAA* another apple exploded. "Good!" the voice said. "Once you're done, put it back in the box. More people neex to fight knighters." I put the apple exploding launcher in the box, and it's bak in the woll.
"GRENTEN!!! HACHT!!!" Shomraph again!
"TRAINING IS OVER!!! YOU ALL DID WONDERFULLY!! YOU NEED AN HOUR OFF!!!" Everyone was cheering. "NOW GO BACK TO THE DINNER ROOMS AND DO YOUR JIGGERS BEFORE DORANIANS CUM HERE!!!"
He moved aside, and everyone ran out and to the left... I followed after them.
"YOU!!!" Shamraph shouted at me. "TOMMORROW WILL NOT BE NORMAL!!! GET YOUR JUMPO BOOTS READY!!!"
"Sir, yes sir!" I said, before walking faster.
I'm not going out her, Ill be smahsed.I went lefd to the... Tunnel rabicals. That'sw hat the sign says. I went in, and found tables, chairs and people. Then I jherd a vioce. "Please domn't overdose on more than 20 pounds of game a day." This is a café? I walked in, and went to one of the closest tables. I took a seat...
"That wretched machine zone! They think they can just dump any citicen that knows about them in this maniac's palace!" A young man said. "Yes! I only saw a few ads, and a few hours later, I was getting beat up by green jacket men! They just won't leave normal people alone!" Another man said, who sounded a bit like a dwarf.
"Hey ghuys." I said to the two. "Oh look, another victim. Welcome to the club of playmates of the military frollicking institute." The man said. "Don't be so mean to him, he hasn't even said a word!" replied the dwarf man. He nurted to me. "Sorry about him, he just hates beginners and paying."
"So, how did you even get here?" the mean one siad. I replied: "I played a free mobile game for four days." Both of them stopped eating and looked at me shocked. "you playing for WHAT!?" "I'm suprised you could even play it for a day!" they replied. I said "I don't get it. Why is this movile thing even popular?" The dwarf man replied: "It's not really popular. It may be a hack on the stores. It floods the ad servers to get people to download the game, then a group of people track down the players and put them in this what's-this-name place. I don't even know the name, and I've been stuck for 6 days!" The other man said: "Do you think you can even survive a week? I had to do backflips 3 days ago. My spine almost broke, and one of my fingers was almost ripped out. This is a mess, you heard me!? MESS!!" The dwarf man turned back to me and said: "Look, tommorrow is a... special day, as in we're all going out and beat up some fashion knitters as that green man calls them. I don't even think I can think about what we'll do tommorrow." The other man stood up and said: "Well, I'll be napping for a few 15 hours. Wake me up when the sharks attack." he left.
I was about to go, too, but the dwarf man said "Stop!" I stopped and sat down agian. "Tommorrow won't be pleasant, so please eat this before you see what will happen." he gave me a bun. "Don't tell anyone, they'll flip their tables." he stood up and walked off. I began eating the bun, I hvaen't eaten anything in hours.
After I ate the nub, I stod up and wa..."GRENTEN!!! HACHT!!!" shomraph!
"GO BACK TO YOUR ROOMS!!! WE DON'T WANT DAZED EYES FROM STARING AT THE SUN!!!" The sun was indeed starting to set...
"But sir, it's barely..." A voice said.
"SHUT! UP! YOU'LL NEED REST FOR NOW!!! WE DON'T GO OFF AND STRIKE FASHION BAKERS FOR NOTHING!!! NOW SCRAM OFF AND DECK UP YOUR FLUFFERS!!!"
Everyone ran off further into the rabical and to the right, into a doorless hall. One of the latter poeple stopped and said "Quick! Htis way!" he then conitued afterwads and I fallowed it.
Then I found a large hall of duoble deckbeds and tables, with random portable walls all over the place.
I looked around, and a lot fo beds weer taken by otter people. I eventaully fond a bed for myself. It was not to bath, juts... a litle bit htin... I undressed into my underpants, and lied in bed, wondering what I need to do now...
Then I hard a voice. "The lights will turn on in 27 minutes. They will turn off in 4 hours." It's that same voice from the rabicals! Is that the namager or something? I fell like a treated scump!
I could only sit and hear the others... I can't go ot, shomraph will do that thing with the sharp things. HJat was ti cald again? Hez rabbit chomp chop sash, tim toller tall dare? This si not what I wentad at al...
"How many more days before we can go on strike?" "We know we can't. He's like some humanoid mech. Not even a three on one will work!" "I can get out... I can get out... I just need to break a window and call it a night, he'll hear me!"
I her a lto of pople talking crazy talk, but that's natural. It's just liek digging a brick made out of styrofoam and then plugging it into a glass opener.
I can't take this, I'll just jump a widdow when on beaks. I'm snoozing it out! I pull myself into bed, and call it a...
The lights went on. "It's blinding!" "Not the SUN!!" "Firecracker!" People are not resting, and are instead going crazy lver the lights. 4 hours! 4 Flipping hours of the sun in our troom!? I'd rather be simming!! I keep herring more voices in the moor. "MY EYES!!".
After a fwe mintes, some voices stopped and it got quieter. Now only a few voice I har. Someone cam up to me. "Here, take this." It's that dwarf-voice man from befor, and he holds a bindfodl. "Wear it before you burn your eyes!"
I took it, and put it on my eyes, then went into bed again. The dwarf man just ran off to his bed... So its this bad that is bad... I went inside my bed, covered myself in sheets, and called it a shinning niht...
I'm in a building. It's big , a big for building. I'm on thepillar, it aws a nic pillar. And then the tutureal winam came.
"Pay now, my lord!" I jumped back and out the pilar, and off into the darknedd, or is it the lihgt? I know, this must be the shinny shinny palce wit the flicking hippos. Yes, an orange sunrise and.. toasters on the floar. The toasters shot living cartridges at ten ten pounds per cart at a rabid pace. "Why don't you do one of them' break dancin zebras?" "I liked the part when a turtle was on the roller coaster" "If only myt moel buttons can be a burger smahs machine." "Let's give eachother a seppy promming!" "Firecracker!" the cartridges said. I jump and jump and jump until jumping can jump the jump to jumper's jumping jumps. There are too many cartridjes, and is that a lying dog in a flying bathtub! Guh whyy!!
I wok up. It was sunris outsid, and peeple leav tehj moor. I her the vois agen.: "The fight with the bread knitters will begin in an hour." Oh dear, I've to get dresed or shomraph will roast me for dinner! I got ot of beth, took on my colthes, and ran, not noting the brokwn widnow from a few hors ago, I was sleepy sleepy!! Get off with it! Yeehaw baby!! This will be fun!! Hwahaarhaahartahaar!!
I went out the rabicals and stod in lin with the rest, seeing shomraph in front of us.
"GOOD MORNING MY DEAR CHEESE COOKERS!!! IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT ONCE OF YOU GOT OUT!!! I'VE SENT STUNT NINJAS OUT IN THE WORLD TO LOOK FOR THE SECAPEDES!!! AND DON'T THINK YOU'RE GETTING OUT YOURSELF!!!"
We all sad in unison "Sir yes, sir!"
"GOOD!!!" Shomraph said.
"TODAY YOU'LL BE TRANNING WITH THE MOST DANK INDUSTRIAL TRAINING MAN OF THE WHOLE REGION!!! GATEAUX!!!"
"Knot Gateaux." One nam said.
"NOW GO GO!!! GO GO!!!" Shomraph said ash e stood at a sid.
We all ran out of the rabicals, and into the training zone, except one man. It was that man.
"GRAPTART" Shomraph shoute d to the man outside this... Tarp toaster.
"YOU'RE NOT A MADE!!!" Shomraph shouted as her ipped his shit off, revealing his abs.
"VERKANDELEN SCHTEMPELZ!! VREKANDERR ZICCH HEINZEL TOPH DER ACHSHTAR DER THANKMAIER!!!" Shomraph ran and kicked the man in the sky, jumped up and grabbed a giant 5 meter AXE. He slammed and rolled over him at 500 pounds per second, kicked him up, teleported up, punched him down, teleported up, punched him up, teleported up , punched him down, teleported down, punched him up, teleported up, drew out two spiky fwisbees, and spun at 12 twirls per second, stabbing the man 400000 times in 27 seconds, then shot a frisbeee at the man, and launched him into the sky. A twinkle was raining.
Shomraph jumped don, nd headed toward us in the tanning grounds.
"INTODRUCING GATEAUX!!!" Shomraph said. His wooden treehouse exploded, and out of it jumped an underpants man with a balck mask, with red meany beany eyes, and a big fat upside down Y, why. The mask sprouted a small black cloak around the headneck.
He sPoke with a deep demonic loud voice: "HELLOW SOE AIHERD YULAIK VEEDEEOE GYAEMZ!!!"
"Yis." A teenageR siad.
"ENDAI HERED YULAIK AI OH ES, I HERR YU SAY, AND AI HERD YULAIK FERSH MMONILL GYAEMS, WIT DEM GOLD, END AAAAAAAAASSSSSTOUNDIGN GOULD!!!" Gateaux said, hE was shaking his head and licking his mouth.
Wii wer slient for a fiv decond, before wan of us said: "Hay?"
"WHELL GETA LODE OVDIS!!!"He puT a hand behind his back puT it down, grabbed it with another hand, pushed it over the asss, while making a "MMMRRRR" noise. Den it picked up a Yellow glove on a stick, then threW it at us. One of our men got slapped and feel over the floor.
Gateaux walked away, and we got a colser lok at the Ywlloe Glove on A StIkc.
"utis it?" one of us said.
Gateaux came back, breaking glass on tThe fence: "DET'S THHE HEEEMBURRGER DIZ BENSER!!"He put a hand behind his baCk, grabbed it witH the other hand, pushed It over his cavity, and threw another Yellow Glove on A Stick at us. That man slapped and feel on the foolr. *PSHACK* Gateaux wnet arway. The galss was slowly haeling.
We took a colser lokk at the Yellow Glove on A Stick. "Me grabbie! gimme gimme gimme gimmeeeh!!" one of us said, and yoinked thee Yellow Glove on A Stick off the body.
"Wahtis it?" another one of us saiD.
Gateaux came back, breaking anOtheR glass on the fEnce: "SOE YU DREW AT OVVER ATDEM HIBBER SPENDERS, FROW ITWIT YORR HEND, END MAKE IT RAIN BUUUUUUUUURRGERS!!!" he was shaking his head back and right, licking his face like a sicker for heads.
One of us grabbed the Yellow Glove on a Stick, and sweng it upside down. It was raining 27 burgers out of the Yellow Stick Glove, they were falling on Gateaux, who was headbanging on the burgers, bouncing theM back lIke a baseball bat. The burgers exploded into a rain of explosions, *BSHAAA!!!* *BSHAAA!!!* *BSHAAAA!!!*
Gateaux walked out of the place, while the glass fixed itself.
Another Yellow Glove On a Stick was thrown at us, that same one of us got slapped by it again, and feel the folor.
"Arr yu ok?" Someone said.
"I'm Fine!" The fallen person said.
"You don't look like a Fine to me." that same some said. I don't know his name, so I didn't ask him.
"Wait, is Fine Fine?" someone else said.
"Wait, who is Fine?" someone else said.
"I'm not Fine Fine." The fallen person said.
"So you're not Fine Fine Fine? Fine." someone else said.
"No! I'm not Fine Fine Fine! I'm just Fine!"
"Then why dony you look like a Fine?"
"GET A WASHING MACHINE!!" the gallen man said, as he stood up. Wait, was that his lunch!? Where are our lunCHes!?
Oh, anywyas, we grabbed the Yellow Glove StIcks, and swang em around, we are arcobats.
It was raining exploding burgers, hundeds of them rain the skies like a bacon waterfall made out of silky cookies.
Everyone exploded. Then we got back up, and swang more of our Yellow Stick Golves. We were expolding eachother fro hours, and felt like out banana toast burning a cap made out of fried peas.
Everyone exploded. Then we got back up, and threw away our Yellow Glove Sticks once we saw Shomraph.
"GRENTEN!!! HACHT!!!" Shomraph said."YOU ALL DID EXCELLENT!!! YOU ALL DESERVE PROMOTIONS OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER!!! NOW GO BACK TO YOUR ROOMS AND EAT FOR YOUR DINNER!!!"
We went bak to our rabicals, and ate out. I sat next to those two ghys form yestreday.
"Ou." The mean one said, aiding "That was some wonderful cake, if I could've eatenbombs!".
The dwarf man tunred to me and said "Sorry, but he has been hit the hardest by that what's-that-thing."
Gateaux jumped into the rabicals from breaking the glass off one of the cieling's windows."HANKS FORR TIRING OUUT MYY POOOOOOOOSRUNALL ACKSESRIES!!! YULLSEE DEM GIVEM AUT TORROMMOW FUR DORANIANS!!!' he then walked out of the rabicals.
We wer silent, then dwarf said "How does he even jump out of a trampoline?".
We eat our lunches, a bunch of farmer fries, some sausage, sauces, and... Bacon Chocolate Pudding.
"HECHTEN!!! AGCHT!!!"'Shomraph said again.
"SUNSET IS ALMOST HERE!!! GET YOUR DILLY DAMN BUTTY HOLS INTO YOUR BEDS BEFORE YOU EXPLODE FROM BIRD CRACKERS!!!" he shouted. Welp, we need beds.
We alll ran off to thee beds, some of us went to the nearby WC to dispose their resources resources resources, beefore walking into beds.
Finally, some rest.
*KRRUMM* the lights went on.
"AHAAAAAAAAHAH!" "Where are my firecrackers!?" "The sun is burning our ice colrd bods!" "MY EYES!!" we put up our blindfolds, and selpt.
Glass break. "HEI SOUAID HERD YULAIK BURRGURR SMESH!!!" says Gateaux. I was in front of him on the couch.
"Yis." "ENDAIHERD YULAIK AI OH ESS, ENDHEER ISS A PRRRRRRRRESENT MOST AAWWWWWWWWWESOMEST INDA HOL WOLD REEGION!!!" he was jumping and moan-screaming.
He lifted me up, threw me up, teleported and punch kick uppercut down kick upbounce kick fried baseball smack teleport super quick second slap nut kick in the nuts kick in the nuts kick pucnh ab pinch yellow glove on a stick slap reining burds...
I wok up. Peeple wer stepping it up. I got up, took on my colthes, then went outsidde wit de rest.
Wi were aboot to leave, when "GRENTEN!!! HACHT!!!"Shomraph shouted, and we immediately steppid in horizontal line.
"NOW! TODAY WE'LL BE FIGHTING AGAINST THE BREAD KNITTERS OF THE ROMAN REGIONS!!! YOU'LL NEED EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO FLIP THEM UNDERSIDE YOUR HEADS!!" I van heer voices in the sitsamde.
"THEY'RE CUMMING! GO GO!! GO GO!! GO GO GO GO!!!" We ran out of the place. Finnaly, out! Now we need to gith the bread knitters. We stod on the feld, reddy togo.
"HER DEY CUM!!!" Shamraph shouted. It's tim to sho what we can do! RUUUUUUUUN!!!
We fond our opponents. A giant hered of living metal ostriches. They ran super fast, and now they're charging with lazers coming out of their eyes, then they shot missiles out their beaks! We charged, shooting apples at the ostriches, all the while it's raining pelicans! One is digging a large hole and peeking and walking into it! IT's don! I'm grabbing out my mac that I cold borow from thee armry, and smash a metal ostrich! Then the ostriches started jumping into the sky and bouncing around everywhere, fwopping out a dose of sulfuric aziboromachrolomide, a super radioactive substance that can reverse gravity on itself! We then jumped left, right left, right left, RIGHT!!! The ostriches peck us, and one of us gos don! We charge in a line and bite off a metal ostrich, and it melts to the ground! Then the UFOs launched off in the sky, damaged by the raining pelicans, shooting fire breath everywhere, then came a large giant super saiyan mega power bill pill mace flung atomic mecha coma 3.8 suit man, and he shoots dolomite everywhere! We kept spinning, twirling, and dizzying the ostriches, but the tensity was a lot! A clod puffer fis flied in the sky and fell, exploding around everywhere in amass raddus! Then we did backflips, spun around on our heads, tapdanced with the ostriches, threw some toasters, FIRECRACKERS!! Now we're ina cab smashing ostriches and jumping onto boats, a flag came in and we were sledding down a lopping, roler coasters gong upside down, super flashing dew mountains filled with rodittos, rekking pelicans, peacocks flying, cats barking, we flied ride sled flight the super sled coaster to the jump fin of the fifteen ostriches, following a elephant stampede on the coconut beach with the volcano bursting cocaine water with the rocks to jump over the tunnel shell jump flashstijumpa singharablefinla ghabbaralartalaraba! BRABBA!! GUH WHYYYYYYYYYYY WHEEHEEHAAHOOHIIWHEEHAAAAAAAAARRR!!!
So, what did we learn today? DON'T SPEND YOUR MONEY ON CASH TOILETS!
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Category:English Class Failure
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