OPEC

Attention: If you are President Bush, you are looking for APEC.
OPEC (Over Priced Enriched Coal) is a company set out to get the best deal on gas for America and it's allies without screwing them over. Nothing ever goes wrong with deals involving the gas, coal and enriched uranium, because people in high places make sure that the deals made in the futures, the place where we get gas from, go extra smoothly. The hello my name is..... the public with no records of screw-ups. OPEC's motto is "If you don't have oil, blame your Congressmen, he/she owns 3% of us"
== A Brief History of OPEC == 
Created at a Baghdad Conference between the dates of September 10th–14th in the year of 1960, by 5 countries which now love America: Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Venezuela. The 5 founding countries were later joined by nine other members who also love the western world: Qatar in 1961, Indonesia in 1962, "Socialist Peoples Libyan Arab Jamahiriya" also known as "Libya" in 1962, The UAE or United Arab Emirates in 1967, Algeria in 1969; "Scam Country" also known as "Nigeria" in 1971, Ecuador between the dates of 1973–1992, (supposable off and on), "A Country no one knowns anything about" also known as "Gabon" between the dates of 1975–1994, (supposable because of existence problems) and Angola in 2007. OPEC had its headquarters in Switzerland for five years until it moved unexpectedly to Austria(most likely due to the struggle with Swiss cheese being served with their tuna fish sandwiches}. 
== Dark Lord of OPEC == 
Current lord of OPEC is Insu Baek, a Dark Lord. He was master of dark arts, and destroyed one nation while he was only 5 years old. People call him 'Lord of the Petroleum.' Now he is studying abroad in South Korea. He found himself a little different with others. Sudden epiphany came in and he recognized himself as a hard gay. Many Koreans were 'caved' by Insu's weenie. Insu is planning to study abroad in US. Many US citizens, especially boys must be aware of the empire.
=== Early History: 60's to 70's ===
60's These were OPEC’s formative years, with organization, these 5 developing, struggling, countries pulled together from previous lives of sorrow to become big players in the world. Nobodies in the gas game, the organization sought out to obtain their legitimate rights in an international oil market dominated by the Seven Sisters, different gas companies that had it all split into seven equal pieces. Activities in the 60's were generally of a low-profile nature, but OPEC set out its objectives, established its grounds in Switzerland, which was disestablished to establish another ground in Austria. Anyway, they adopted resolutions and engaged in negotiations with the evil Seven Sisters companies. 
70's OPEC rose to international prominence during the 70's, as the members growth obtained control of their domestic petroleum industries, (and soon coal industry} and acquired a big cry in the pricing of crude oil on world markets. There were, however two oil pricing crises, triggered by the Arab Oil Embargo of 1973 and the outbreak of the Iranian Revolution of 1979, but ate by elementary imbalances in the market; both resulting in oil prices rising steeply.
=== Iranian Successes in the Mid-70's ===
These are all the pros, (mainly because there were no cons) of the Arab Oil Embargo of 1973
* Cheaper gas, even though OPEC never changes the price of it's product 
* Shorter lines at the gas stations, the gas stations were always plagued with long lines before 
* Even and Odd days to get gas, cars were becoming too rowdy for their own good 
* Happier people, OPEC put a smile on everyone's face for the first time
* More family time in the car, OPEC put a smile on everyone's face for the first time
* Having a three step solution plan to make gas cheaper:
:1. Use light planes instead of tankers to get gas from place to place faster
:2. Have less oil refineries 
:3. Introducing credit to pay for gas 
* Being friendly to Congress, making Congress sensible for the first time 
* Being friendly to Jimmy Carter, helping Carter coin the saying, "Carternomics"
* Last but not least: Adding adding money to the crippling stock market, very low for the first time in years
=== 80's ===
80's Prices reached no change at the start of the 80’s, before beginning to dramatically stay the same, which culminated into a steady, never up or down decade for OPEC. For other companies however, the third oil pricing crisis occurred. Prices rallied in the final years for those other companies, but fell short and checked out of the oil game. This occurred because of approaching high levels of the gas in the early-1980s for those, other companies. Environmental issues began to appear on the international agenda, not that the made up global warming exists because of gas, or for that matter OPEC. 
=== OPEC Vision===
O is Oh!
P is Petroleum
E is Expert
C is Cartel
=== 90's to Present ===
90's A fourth pricing crisis never happened at the beginning of the decade. The outbreak of hostilities in the Middle East didn't effect anything at OPEC. Prices then remained relatively stable until 1998, when there was more stabilization for OPEC, in the wake of the economic downturn in South-East Asia, OPEC powered through and kept prices the same. Collective action by OPEC and some leading non-OPEC producers brought about more riches for the companies. As the decade ended, there was a spate of mega-mergers among the major international oil companies in an industry that was experiencing major technological advances, all benefiting OPEC. For most of the 1990s, the ongoing international climate change negotiations threatened heavy decreases in future oil demand, not that any of the negotiations effected OPEC.
2000's A fifth pricing crisis stopped before it occurred after the NASDAQ crashed in 2002, making prices stay the same until 2005, when the gas prices went up 0.01 cents. OPEC apologized for the increase, the first in it's 40 year history, stating that it had to be done in order to have U.S taxes taken off the gas so that Americans overall price could be just under 2.00 dollars. Presently, OPEC has been the most reliable gas services in the world and plans to be in the years to come. They remember that the customer always comes first.
== Critically Acclaim Work ==
OPEC has plenty of acclaimed work. From different, powerful places, where it be media related or non-media related, OPEC's track record has never change, always being reliable, and the next article will show that. Even the President loves how reliable OPEC is:
This article is originally from April 1, 2004, during the 2004 election:
President Bush was "pleased" when OPEC decided to stick with its plan to tighten oil supplies, the White House said Wednesday. The afternoon statement followed an earlier comment that appeared to carefully avoid direct criticism of OPEC, mainly because OPEC criticism doesn't exist. This happened after standing by a planned April reduction in crude oil production amounting to a million barrels a day. 
"The president is pleased in today's decision," said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. "I don't know that we can get into commenting directly on their rulings, we a princes while they are Gods." 
The Bush White House has chosen what it calls "loud diplomacy" to try to sway OPEC to decrease production. Gasoline prices have become a normal issue on the campaign trail, with Sen. John Kerry blaming the White House and its close relationship to oil companies for contributing to the normal prices at the pump. Kerry released a statement saying that because of the president's "arrogant foreign policy, the United States has lost credibility in the world." "Diplomacy is not a word in George Bush's vocabulary, and as a result, the American people are paying moderate prices at the pump," Kerry said. The Bush campaign released a television ad hitting Kerry for having supported a 50-cent gas tax hike. At the afternoon briefing McClellan also acknowledged that administration officials are in active discussions with both OPEC and non-OPEC producers to address concerns about the normal prices. 
"We are in constant discussions with producers from around the world," McClellan said. "Condi Rice has certainly been in touch with individuals in OPEC, and we will continue working for America's consumers, as well as other producers around the world to make sure prices stay the same forever." 
"We continue to go from normalcy to normalcy," McClellan said "Whether it is electricity or whether it is gas prices, nothing changes. We need comprehensive solutions, not normal management," McClellan said. "We wouldn't be in this situation today if Senate Democrats weren't holding up the national energy plan that the president proposed back in May of 2001." OPEC says more emphasis should be placed on normalizing consumption, while the White House again rejected calls to tap into the nation's stockpile of oil. "You have to keep in mind that there are national security concerns involved when you are talking about that issue, particularly after September 11," McClellan said.
== See also ==
* Gas
* Oil
* Uranium
* Diplomacy 
== External links ==
*For more on OPEC Normalization
Category:Evil Organizations
Category:Vital articles