Sue Ellen Adds It Up/Transcript

Mr. Ratburn draws a rectangle on the blackboard. 
Mr. Ratburn: So using the formula we just learned, who can tell me the area of this rectangle?    
Several kids raise their hands. Sue Ellen is writing on a piece of paper.
Mr. Ratburn: Sue Ellen?
Sue Ellen: Um… Can I go to the bathroom?
Mr. Ratburn: (sighs)  All right.
Sue Ellen walks out of the classroom and addresses the audience.
Sue Ellen: I have a confession to make: I'm not a math person. Sometimes when I'm in math class, it seems as if Mr. Ratburn is speaking a different language.
She imagines Mr. Ratburn drawing the rectangle.
Mr. Ratburn: So, ooking doo keemo laka nes waba dos mah dos imba. Sue Ellen?
Flashback: Mr. Armstron hammers a nail in the wall and hangs up a picture of Sue Ellen.
Sue Ellen (narrator): And it's not just me, no one in my family is a math person. When we hang pictures at home, we don't even take measurements, we just eyeball it.
Mr. Armstrong walks to his wife and daughter who are sitting on the couch.
Sue Ellen: It's perfect.
Flashback: Mrs. Armstrong and Sue Ellen make dough in the kitchen.
Sue Ellen (narrator): And when we cook, we never use recipes. We just use trial and error.
Flashback: Sue Ellen tastes a fresh muffin.
Sue Ellen: Mmm, delicious. Next time, let's use less cranberries, but throw in a few more walnuts.     
She takes notes.
The fantasy ends. Sue Ellen walks back to class.
Sue Ellen: The truth is, the Armstrongs get along just fine without using math, except in one instance... math class.
Mr. Ratburn: Ah, Sue Ellen, you're back, just in time for the next problem.
Sue Ellen: Oh...
~~~
Title Card: Sue Ellen eyeballs the wall over the fountain
~~~
Mrs. Bryan addresses the art club (Sue Ellen, Prunella, Francine, Muffy, Jenna, Rattles).
Mrs. Bryan: For your final art club project, you will all get to create a piece of art for a public area in the school.
Muffy: Can I give our homeroom a makeover and turn it into a spa?
Mrs. Bryan: No. Try to make your piece of art interact with the space it's in. Why does it have to be in that particular spot?
Muffy: Oh, what if I put a car in the gymnasium? It would say, "Our basketball team is going places."
Mrs. Bryan: Hmm, I don't think Principal Haney would like that. I'm delighted to announce that our bake sale was so successful, you will each get 15 dollars to spend on your project. Let me know what space you want to use by the end of the day.       
Muffy raises her hand.     
Mrs. Bryan: Muffy, are you going to ask if you can paint the whole school pink?      
Muffy looks miffed.
Muffy: I was going to say salmon.
~~~
After art club, Sue Ellen and Prunella walk down a hallway.
Prunella: I think I'm going to put paintings of jellied newts and candied beetles up around the cafeteria.
Sue Ellen: Yuck, why?       
Prunella holds up the book ‘Henry Skreever and the Potage of Villany’.
Prunella: It's a reference to the Henry Skreever books. Those are some of his favorite foods.
Sue Ellen: Oh, right, that could be cool.
Prunella: How about you? Have you chosen your spot yet?
Sue Ellen: No, I just haven't found anything that feels right.
Prunella: Don't worry, you will, and I'm sure whatever you do will be great - you're so artistic.
Sue Ellen: Thanks.      
Prunella walks on. Sue Ellen turns on the drinking fountain and becomes transfixed by the wall over it.
In her imagination, she sees a waterfall and several wild animals drinking below it. 
The fantasy ends.
Muffy: Ahem. You know, you're wasting water.
Sue Ellen: Oh, sorry.
~~~
Later, Sue Ellen and Prunella buy materials for their projects in a shop.
Sue Ellen: See, the water fountain is like our watering hole. It connects us to nature. I wonder if I should do the foliage in some sort of green velvet.
Prunella: Wow, that's so creative. I don't know how you come up with these things.   
She looks at Sue Ellen’s shopping basket.     
Prunella:Remember, we can only spend 15 dollars. You might want to add that up before going to the register.
Sue Ellen: If it's too much, I'll put something back. I don't have a calculator on me.
Prunella: You don't need a calculator. I've got a pen and some scratch paper.
Sue Ellen: Please, if I tried to add all this up, I'd be here for hours. You know me and math.
Prunella: What do you mean?
Sue Ellen: I'm terrible at it.
Prunella: No, you're not. You got a B+ on your last math test. I saw your grade.
Sue Ellen: Okay, but I had to study really hard. I'm not a math person like you. You said so yourself, I'm artistic.
Prunella: You can be both, you know. There's no law against it.
Sue Ellen goes to the register.
Prunella: You do math all the time. We all do.
Sue Ellen: Not if I can help it.
Cashier: That'll be 14 dollars and 25 cents, please.
Sue Ellen: Hey, look at that. It was under 15. That was lucky.
Prunella: It wasn't luck. You were using math and just didn't realize it. It's called estimating.
Sue Ellen: See you later. I want to finish my homework before dinner so I can start on this.
Prunella: You just did it again! You calculated how many hours before dinner! Not a math person?? There's no such thing.
~~~
The next morning, Prunella meets Sue Ellen at the school entrance. Sue Ellen is carrying a large sheet of paper.
Prunella: Sue Ellen, how on earth did you get to school on time?
Sue Ellen: What do you mean? I'm usually on time.
Prunella: Exactly, and why are you on time? Because you've determined how long it takes you to get here. See? You are a math person.
Sue Ellen: Actually, my mom drove me, so she's the one who determined how long it would take. Bye, Mom.       
She waves to her mom, who honks the horn and drives off.
Prunella: (sighs)
~~~
Sue Ellen and Prunella go to Sue Ellen’s locker.
Prunella: A combination lock. You need to remember the sequence of numbers in the correct order - that's math.
Sue Ellen: My lock has letters. All I have to remember is Ellen, which is pretty easy, because it's part of my name. Nice try.
~~~
Later, Prunella meets Sue Ellen, as she is estimating the size of the wall above the fountain.
Prunella: A-ha, you're measuring! That's math again!
Sue Ellen: I'm just eyeballing the space to get a sense of the size. I'm not even using a ruler.
Prunella: So? You're still measuring it with your eyes, you're just doing it inaccurately. I have a ruler. Wanna borrow it?
Sue Ellen: No!     
She walks away.
~~~
Sue Ellen starts painting an orange sun in the art room. There are a red and a yellow pot of paint beside her.
Prunella: A-ha! You had to mix the right amount of red and yellow to get that orange. More measuring!
Admit it, you're using math all the time. For your information, the orange came from this tube.
Prunella: Okay, but you had drawn a circle, and that's geometry, so...
Fine, you win, I'm using math without knowing it. Why do you care, anyway?
Prunella: Because we're all math people. And art people.
~~~
Later, Sue Ellen looks at the finished painting in her room. It shows herself and the drinking fountain in front of a waterfall with a hippo, deer, elephant, chicken, monkey, zebra and camel. In her imagination, the animals start moving.
Elephant: Oh, my dear, it's absolutely fabulous. Thank you so much for creating us.
Zebra: And you gave me such a nice, shiny coat. I feel almost three-dimensional.
Sue Ellen smiles.
~~~
The next morning, Sue Ellen brings the painting to school. She meets Muffy.
Muffy: Oh, Sue Ellen, can I use your spot for my art project?
Sue Ellen: What? No way, the water fountain is the whole key to my piece.
Muffy: I know, that's why I thought it wouldn't be a problem. Apparently, there was a leak in one of the pipes, so they moved it.
Sue Ellen: They moved the water fountain?? Where to?
There is only a hole in the wall, where the fountain was.
Muffy: Just down the hall.
The girls run down the hall. The fountain is now in a place, where there is less room between the classroom door and a row of lockers.
Sue Ellen: But... but it's not gonna fit now. What will I do?
Muffy: Oh, don't worry, you'll think of something. You're so artistic.
In Sue Ellen’s imagination, the school corridor is partly covered by jungle. Mrs. Bryan walks up to her with giant scissors. 
Mrs. Bryan: I'm sorry, Sue Ellen. I asked Principal Haney, and he said they can't move the lockers to make the space bigger.
Sue Ellen: But then it won't fit.
Mrs. Bryan: Well, there is one thing you can do to make it fit, just cut one of the animals out. Well, which one is it going to be?
Zebra: No, not me! I just got here. Pick the elephant.
Elephant: Hh! No, please, I'm so well drawn. Look at these delicate ears.
Zebra: Well, what about my mane? It's the best thing you've ever done.
Elephant+Zebra: Please, Sue Ellen, keep me! No, me, me! I'll be your friend for life.
Sue Ellen: I can't choose, I have to keep them both.
The fantasy ends. Sue Ellen rolls up her painting.
Sue Ellen: The whole thing is ruined.
~~~
Sue Ellen walks into the empty art room. 
Sue Ellen: Mrs. Bryan?    
She puts her painting away and sees a bowl with painted clay animals on a table. Prunella comes in.
Prunella: They're not finished.
Sue Ellen: These are foods from the Henry Skreever books?
Prunella: They're inspired by the books. I know, they're terrible. Not all of us can be art people.
Sue Ellen: I think they're amazing.
Prunella: What?? You do?
Sue Ellen: Yeah, they're vivid and strange and oddly beautiful.
Prunella: Thanks. That means a lot to me, coming from you. 
Sue Ellen: And best of all, I'm sure they fit in the spots you chose, unlike my painting. They moved the water fountain and now the space for it is too small.
Prunella: Are you sure?      
She unrolls Sue Ellen’s painting.
Sue Ellen: Yeah, I just came from there. I'd have to chop one of my animals in half to make it fit.  (sighs)  I guess I have to start from scratch.
Prunella: Let's double-check and measure your canvas.    
She uses a measuring tape.     
Prunella: One side is five feet, and the other side is five feet, so it's a perfect square. Now, let's measure the space you have on the wall.
~~~
A while later, they return to the art room.
Sue Ellen: The wall is only three by three. I'd definitely lose one of my animals.
Prunella: Not necessarily.     
She holds a red three by three sheet over the painting.      
Prunella: Sure, you could make the painting smaller by cutting off this area, and then you're right, you would lose the elephant or the zebra, but you could also make the painting smaller by trimming it less...
Sue Ellen: And by taking a little bit from each side, I wouldn't have to cut into the figures. It might just work.
Prunella: See? I knew you were a math person.
~~~
Later, the trimmed painting is hanging over the fountain and Sue Ellen presents it to the art club.
Sue Ellen: I wanted kids to remember about how they're connected to all the other animals in the world, but you don't really get the full effect until you drink from it. Mrs. Bryan?
Mrs. Bryan drinks from the fountain while looking at the painting.
Mrs. Bryan: Really nice work, Sue Ellen, and great use of the space.
Muffy: Okay, everyone, it's ready!
Muffy turns on an installation down the corridor. It shows Muffy’s head in shining white lines on a pink background.
Muffy: I call it, "Me in Lights".         
The other club members are blinded by the light.
Mrs. Bryan: Erm, it's very… bold. Are you sure you only spent 15 dollars on this?
Muffy: Oh, I didn't spend a thing. Crosswire Motors donated all the light bulbs and the labor was free too.        
An exhausted Bailey is asleep on a chair.
Bailey: (snores)
Muffy: I put it right in front of the class, so that everyone's day would be brighter before school started.
Sue Ellen and Prunella whisper to each other.
Sue Ellen: I thought yours was the best.
Prunella: Oh, no, yours was way better.
Sue Ellen: Actually, it's not finished. I forgot something.     
She writes a dedication in the corner.
Prunella: "For Prunella Deegan, who taught me we are all math people..."    
She takes Sue Ellen’s pen and adds something.     
Prunella: "...and art people."
Category:Transcripts
Category:Season 19 transcripts
Category:2016