A. Weissman

thumb|180px|Can You guess who really wrote this dictionary? Hint: It Doesn't Rhyme with Zebster's
Alfred Very Weissman (born 1959) is most known for his monumental works in the field of science, literature, medicine and time travel. One of the only people to win Nobel Prizes in every category, most notably attributed to him are a plethra of famous quotations he had spoken and written over his lifetime. Although it had been mainly accepted by the general public beforehand, it wasn't until he had won his actual court case that the official credit for his accomplishments had actually gone to him.
== Early life ==
=== Birth ===
Alfred was born to Burt and Silvia Weissman of Bronx, New York. Although no video cameras were around at the time, hospital records have indicated that the first few moments of Weissman's life went somewhat like this: Ahhhhh! Whahhhh! Ahhhhh! Whahhhh! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! Gurgle. Coo. Gurgle.It Should be noted said Gurgling and Cooing occurred after Weissman was handed off to his Mother
=== Childhood ===
Growing up in a family of 21 Children, the terms "Sharing" and "Discovery Health Channel Special" came up very often in Weissman's Childhood. After jointly graduating from Yale and Harverd Jointly Juggling Major Classes in both universities at the age of 7, Weissman found himself spending more and more time at home. This occurred mostly because as he was skipping grades very close to the speed of light, most of the friends Weissman had made existed on planes only visible through insanely immense amounts of academia, and therefore were in most cases unable to invite him over for very many play dates.
As he spent more time in the home he found that typing was an enjoyable hobby for him. On one evening he wrote out what would come to be known as Othello. On another evening he wrote what would come to be known as the original script for the Gene Wilder movie "Silver Streak".
== Discoveries and Inventions ==
It took A. Weissman to invent such things as the Lightbulb and the Calculator. Besides those highlights of his inventing career, Weissman has also invented many other things used throughout history.Which I will refrain from mentioning until further court cases are setteled
His writings on the concept of gravity and his three laws are what founded the principals many other scientific investigations have been based upon.You lost the court case Newton, Get over it!
== The Time Machine Incident ==
The Infamous "Time Machine Incident" occurred on a rainy November 27, 1998. As Weissman was putting the finishing touches on the prototype time machine in his old workshop, he noticed there was a paint crack on the wall on the other side of the room. When walking over to inspect the paintwork of the wall, Weissman slipped on a small puddle of water. As he was falling backwards Weissman inadvertently pushed what happened to be a collection of his life's work and quotes through a moving fan shreading them to pieces. The fan then proceeded to blow the shreads of information into the time machine scattering them throughout time and space.
The Ordeal itself and the insuing court cases to follow left Weissman feeling fairly Verklempt.Yiddish. Look it up
== Court Cases ==
Due to the controversial time-space paradox matters involved calling most major witnesses during the cases, Weissman would have had a very tough time proving his points. Luckily for him one of the documents to fall back through the time machine was the New York State copyright bill he had authored, and possibly due to The Theory of Extremely Lucky Mishaps landed right on top of the original draft of the New York State copyright bill just seconds before it had been signed into law.
Although a few are still pending, all of the finalized court cases have been setteled in favor of A. Weissman. Most major ones still active, Involving Oscar Wilde, have been pursued by Lawyers from the Uncyclomedia foundation.
== Political career ==
Although having run for several different offices numerous times, A. Weissman has had a very limited political career.
== A incomplete list of works written/produced by A. Very Weissman ==
* The Wind in the Willows
* Valley Of the Dolls
* Othello
* "Silver Streak"
* Cheers The Scripts for the television series.
* Weissman's New World Dictionary
* Of Mice and Men
* 1984
* Weird ScienceThe Script for the movie
== An incomplete list of Quotes by A. Very Weissman ==
== Footnotes ==
=== Note ===
As A. Weissman once said, "Always recognize a good joke."
Category:Americans
Category:Biographies of Ridiculous Persons