nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
The alchimist vs the steamer

april 16th 1667
Frank a alchimist with long red and blond hair and transmutation circles tatod on his hands woke up from his dream with a scream becouse when he dreams he sees people being murderd but from the murders eyes. This dream was unlike the others frank had becouse this dream didnot have aneyone beaten to death or even stabed. No they spontanisuley combusted and how that hapend was a compleate mystery to frank. Then one day he heard a scream and ran to the scream and he saw a tall medioum build man with an eye tatod on his forhead and black hair and the man takes out a soward and frank draws his. He asks the man how he was able to make people explode and the man explains how people are made up mostley of water and he uses alchamey to raise the temprature of the water in the human body untill it emplodes. They clash and the man saw that frank had a faster speed then him so he trys his alchime on frank but befor the man could conect frank cut the mans arm off and he flees as police aproced becouse of the noise of the soward fight
april 21 1667
After 5 days of searching for this man frank finaley found him but his arm was healed like his arm was never cut off.  The man sees frank and holding a grudge the man took out 2 knifes and throws one at frank but frank uses his sowrd to stop them and frank asks the man how he was able to regow his arm and the man said that he has a friend with power that farsapases aneyone he has ever meat. The man throws water  around him and heats it up making steam and runs from frank. Then a man tackels frank puting a knife to his neck saying you dont rezist i wont kill you but i dont want to kill you becouse there is a huge bounty on your head and i want to get the money so i can pay my rent. Frank asks the man how much money can get me off the hook and the man says 10 pounds and 5 pounds silver and i can turn a blinde eye to you. So frank pays the man the money and the man gets off of frank and walks off. Frank cuerses becouse he seen the murder and he didnot get aney usefull infomation excypt that the man has a friend with a higher power then normal alchimists
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Bad Fanfiction
Category:Jornel
Category:Dreams
Category:English Class Failure
Category:That just raises more questions!
The amazing world of gumball: the note

Cartoon network was amazing as a kid, but I dont know if I can give amazing world of gumball a chance, after this lost episode. one night I was watching cartoon network and just got done watching adventure time and then an ad came on, for the amazing world of gumball when the ad ended the episode begin but the audio was distorded after the intro it started with gumball walking home from school he checks his mail only to find a note, it was from the goombell it sounded like a demon version of gumball the note said. you have 30 seconds to hide before I get you oh and I know were you live little man good luck. he ran in his house and hid under his bed only to find another note it said. now we will play hide and seek if I find you your family and you will die if you win you will get your family back. FAMILY BACK!!!!!, the thought I had was that gumballs family was tied up, then we cut to the living room only to find a tall creture of gumball, I assumed it was the goombell, he walked upstairs and looked in every room then went to gumballs room the goombell heard breathing coming from gumballs bed the goombell looked under to see gumball, he said found you! as he started feasting on gumball all we saw was gumballs wall getting blood on it then it cut to black, the credits showed a picture of the goombell with a message saying your next then it ended. I threw up after that, all that blood on the wall and the ugly goombell that was nasty so I hope to never watch amazing world of gumball again.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Wall of Text
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
The ancient ritual of ritualness.

# Grab a potato.
# Grab a chicken.
# Stuff the potato into the chicken.
# Stuff the chicken into a blender.
# Place a dorito into the blender.
# Scream "BACKWARDS MESSAGE." 5 times backwards, and then press the button on the blender.
# Bill Cipher will appear.
# Make a deal with him. Make sure to not to sell your soul with him.
# Once the deal is done, show Bill one of your favorite picture books.
# He will read it for exactly 666 hours. When he is done, he will give you whatever you asked for from the deal, and then steal your car or other motorized vehicle. If you do not have one, then he will punch you in the face and ascend to a higher plane of existence.
# Get a cell phone. If you do not have one, than steal one.
# Take a selfie, and post it to Instagram.
# Scream "#SELFIE" 735891378951378381297138931879831753198137 times.
# The Pyro will appear.
# Repeat the first 6 steps.
# Once Bill is summoned again, he and the Pyro will merge into Pyro Cipher.
# Pyro Cipher will burn your most valuable possession.
# Get another potato and a cake and put them into the blender, then use it.
# GLaDOS will appear. Pyro Cipher and GLaDOS will merge into PYRO CiPHER.
# PYRO CiPHER will attempt to make a deal with you, DO NOT MAKE A DEAL WITH IT. YOUR HAND WILL BURN OFF.
# Kill PYRO CiPHER with a weapon. It doesn't matter what the weapon is as long as it isn't a gun.
# PYRO CiPHER will turn into the possession from before.
# Put the possession into the blender and press the blend button.
# Caillou will appear. Shove him into the blender.
# Repeat the previous steps.
# Congrats, you just wasted your time.
# Press the freakin' button.
# You will get a potato. Surround this potato with rainbow scented candles and light the candles.
# Chant "BAA" 420 times.
# EVILPATRIXXXDROWNED.EXE will appear. Ask him for one favor.
# He will give you the thing you asked for.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Rituwel
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
The arachnid people have taken over

One day I (59M) was just walking around my yard, checking on the berry bushes when I noticed something. My berry bush had a big spider on one of the branches. Then in my mind it all fell into place. George W. Bush was a spider person, and not like Spider-Man! Though he clearly possesses some superhuman powers which he demonstrated (he might also be a demon) when he dodged a shoe that was thrown at him. Also, ever consider what the W in his name stands for? I know it stands for "WOO! I love being a spider person, but not like spider-man." As soon as I realised this something went off in my brain. Like I knew too much, and they'd be coming for me. We're all stuck in the spider people's mind web, and can't break free, forward this message to as many people as possible to help spread the word and maybe we can rebel against them. Also I beat the shit out of my high school bully John who called me gay via text message once and everyone thought I looked really cool and John pissed his pants.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
The bad guy

so like i am a relly cool giy that dancs and stuff and you r not go ing to beeleeve this but i saw a guy and he looked maaaaaaaaaad to i gave him a hugf then a eated me and im now in his tummy posting this (yes i brought my cp to hiz tummy) i tink im go ing to die now, OH NOES HE EETED A NOTHER GUY AHHHHHHHHHHH THE GUY FELL ON MY LAPTOp AND BROKE It AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH waet haouw am i nmaking dis nouiw oh well, OH NO IM BEE ING POOPEDEDEDEDED OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT ew im an a toylet and i beeing fluched now a im in a weard dementin and theres demenon things everywere i runing AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and then i woke up in my house oh pewh it was a dreem ah poop i was dreeming, so i got a wafle but insteed of me eeting the wafle aai got eeted by da waffle ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and now im ded, i am posting this with a broken laptop covered with poop in heaven the end.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Im died
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Unfunny
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
The bathroom monster

I was going on a trip to mars when i got a big need to take a dump. And fast. I stoped my car next to a supermarket, hoping that it had a bathroom and that it didn't have dicks draw in it's walls. Thanks to some neat dexterity of my part, or just dumb luck, i found a bathroom that was completely empty.
I entered the bathroom. And as i looked on the mirror inside it, i saw a human face with hyper-realistic blood droping out of it's eyes. Scared as i was from the event, i tought this was just an after affect of the drugs i took last night. I sited in one of the toilets, and resisted the urge to started to fap, and slowly took my glorious dump. When i was almost finishing, ownever, i had i new need: A need to pee.
I slowly puted my dick out, but, thanks to another after effect of the drugs of the last night, i peed outside of the toiled, making the bathroom messier than a typical otaku bedroom. Then, i heard a voice that sounded like Tim curry saying: "YOU NO PEE OUT TOILET!" and that's when the most horrific thing in my life happened.
My shit started to take a form inside the toilet, eventually becoming a monster made of hyper-realistic dump! Before i could run, he grabbed me by my legs, dragged me into the toilet, and fucked me until i became his sex slave! Now, remember this story aesop kids: Never pee outside of the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!11!1!!!!!!1!!!
YEAH AND IF YOU DO PEE OUTSIDE OF THE TOILET, I WILL FIND YOU ADDRESS, GO INTO YOURE HOUSE, KILL YOURE FRIENDS, AND THEN I WILL GO INTO YOURE ROOM AND KILL YOU
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Beings
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Potty Humor
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
The battle of noobyness

the battle began on 21/12/2012. nubs clashed against the pwnzors. the battle went on for days.... then some nub came in and fought the pwnzors HE WAS SLENDY then EVIL PATRIXXX joined the pwnzors and fought the nubs. as the battle went on EVIL PATRIXXX killed the nub leader. then the nub army went crazy running in circles until they farted. then slendy and EVIL PATRIXXX joined forces and battled the remaining nubs. then the pwnor army moved in and killed all the remaining nubs. AND THEN SUDDENLY AN ARMY OF SKELETONS POPPED OUT AND BATTLED THE PWNORS ONLY TO BE DEFEATED. then a skeleton popped out of slendys nose. ZEH END
Category:Trollpasta
Category:BATTELS
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:PROOF DAT SLENDURMAN EXUSTS
Category:Crappy ms paint drawings
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Shortpasta
The behh

ah yes, the behh, when i first discovered the word when someone spammed it. i didnt know what was it about. but the spams were always laughing me out loud. sometimes it gets annoying,  but still funny. however, one day, that word became to world like a nightmare.
one day, at bonziworld.co, the behh spam started again. if you dont know what bonziworld.co is. its a chat site where you talk to people as colored bonzibuddies. however. unlike the program based on this. this isnt malware or spyware. the website got to the point that there were some kiddies on it. heck. its rare to spot a vinesauce joel fan in there. anyways. we were having so many laughs with the behh spam.  however,  the laughs soon as stopped when a person by the name of I HATE BEHH joined. it seems to be a typical kiddie at first, but his words were so fucking funny at least the first time.
the conversation with the user went like this.
I HATE BEHH: STOP SPAMMING BEHH!
me: what are you gonna do?!
I HATE BEHH: IMMA FIND YOUR HOUSE. AND STOLE YOUR XBOX!
me: in my dreams!
then he left. 
i was pretty bored,  was using bonziworld.co for 30 minutes.   i was tired and went to bed.
3:01 AM:
i was still sleeping.  then, i hear raging noises. also heard some glass smashing. i was so confused, why would someone do that?
and that was when,  that raged user opened the door, looked at me with totally scary red eyes.
he said this by the following:
YOU SHOULDNT HAVE DONE THAT. YOU MADE ME SO FUCKING MAD. I AM GONNA TAKE  YOUR XBOX AND THE GAMES TOO.
i was speechless, how did he know my location? how? how?
then he stole my xbox. i tried to chase him, but he pointed me a gun and said the following:
DO NOT FOLLOW ME. DONT YOU EVEN DARE!
then i came back to my house. i was still speechless, i tried to go to the police about what happened,  but they had no clue at all.  how? i dont even know.
i didnt want to stay like this. so i decided to stay strong and kept following him without his noticing.
i waited for hours trying to wait for him to sleep. when he did it i sneaked thru his house. and there was the xbox
suddenly. He woke up again and saw me.
he said:
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS YOU SON OF A BITCH? FUCK YOU! and began holding a gun. about to shoot.
i didnt know what to do. i began crying.
i begin to run and saw him chasing me. suddenly. i realized i had a Panasonic blu ray on my backpack.
COME HERE! YOU SON OF A BITCH! - he said.
then it was the time.  i threw the Panasonic blu ray up on his face. when i looked at him. he was dead. i was happy. i began to get the xbox and running away home.
this is why i'm having so many nightmares in my sleep. all because of that guy. that guy. i think i should take a little break
Category:Trollpasta
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Well, that was pointless.
The best horror movie ever made

Outside a house that wears a hockey mask, an old man cuts the grass by stabbing it with an axe. 
Just then, 4 teens arrived in a car that runs on sex, which they then exit. 
It was Spring Break, time for teens to guzzle fluids and die off.
"Old man, you do not belong. We rent this house for week of young times." said the first teenager.
"I am caretaker. I care. Do not stay in house. Kitchen is a monster. Witch is basement. Beds are ghosts. Sink hates priests. TV is a book." replied the old man.
"Get buried, you are a waste of age!" shouted the second teenager.
The second teenager was the state jerk. His college major was Vodka Law.
"Maybe we leave? This place gives me the crepes." said the third teenager. 
"Stop acting chicken. Your virginity is making you a bird, as usual." said the fourth teenager.
All of a sudden, the house door swung open. A little girl stepped out orphanly. 
"Your sobriety is not appreciated!" yelled the second teenager.
The second teenager then threw a can of gin at the little girl, who then turned into Texas chainsaw, but was still orphan.
"Die, y'all! Houston Dallas!" shouted Texas chainsaw.
The third and fourth teenagers then screamed in horror as Texas chainsaw completely sawed the second teenager's body in half. His blood said hi to all.
"No! Teen 2 needs a body to drink!" screamed the first teenager.
The third teenager then called 911, but a Frankenstein answered and was upset.
"Run into the car! Go! I end this!" shouted the old man.
The first and third teenager ran into the house while the fourth teenager ran into the chainsaw and he's killed instantly. 
"That is not the car!" shouted the old man.
THE END
Category:Trollpasta
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Shortpasta
The big death theory

hello i was a big fan of big bang theory and i like the quote "bazinga" but this time it was scary and the episode was called "raj's suicide" i t was so scary that I died
so the episode was aired on 3am i was bored and wanted to get a glass of milk and my brother woke up and said "i want to watch spongebob" i said ok but then the only channel was the channel where big bang theory aired on and my brother cried but then an episode started called "raj's suicide" it was season 6 episode 66
the episode started of everyone sitting in a sofa, no intro, they were starting to look in my soul and then raj got his phone and then cried for 10 hours and then there was static and he got outside the room sheldon followed him oh and also raj was full in blood when he was walking out after that the episode was normal but then it started to be satanic again and there was raj with a noose and then he suicide himself and then sheldon came and said "bazinga" and there was a [laugh track] and then the outro showed up but then my tv exploded and my brother was scaried and basically got a noose and killed himself too and i creid and got a suicidal feeling and then killed myself too and then sheldon came and said "zimbabwe".
the plot is to never do anything at 3am and never wathc lost episodes or you die
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:English Class Failure
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:Shortpasta
The big trip

One day I was on my way home when Patrixxx grabed me and stuffed me in his pocket. I didn't have any idea what was going to happen after that. Heck, I didn't even know who this Patrixxx was.
Two hours later he took me out of his pocket and sat me down on a chair. I wanted to know where I was so I asked him (Well I think its a boy.) where I was. Here's the conversation.
ME: Hey where the *Bleep* am ?
PATRIXXX: u r in mai house.
ME: Why am I here, in your house.
PATRIXXX because i need 2 do something 4 u.
Patrixxx zapped me with some kind of lazzer. After he zapped me, I started to feel weird.
ME: Hey y do mai voice sound weird?
PATRIXXX: its working :D
ME: wat is working? i don't have a job.
PATRIXXX: not yet. . . spongebob. >:3
ME: wat?
I look at my self. My hands are yellow with holes in them. I feel my face to see that it's spongy.
ME: nuuu. . .
PATRIXXX: Wake up!
I wake up to see my mom pushing on my side.
MOM: We're here,
ME: What? You're not Patrixxx?
MOM: What do you mean? I woke you up because we're home from our big trip. Remember? We went to Walmart.
I'll never forget about that dream. . . Well. . . Okay I'll forget about it.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
The blue demon

me and my girlfriend were having trip to new York city. for about 5 hours we finally go to new city.one guy said go back before you will die. me and my girlfriend do't care about him. i found a house that was only $500 dollars.
later that day:
i found a store named get your demon food. it was just for people that are +40. i tell my girlfriend that this store is creepy as hell.
i went to my bed and went to sleep.
3:00 am
i woke up. i saw something in the window. it look like a demon but blue. the blue demon ran to the fog Quickly. i just tell my girlfriend what i just saw but she dose't think demons are real.
i call 911
the police said whats going on?
i said i saw a blue demon in my window.
the police said there's no demon in this city
the police hang up.
the next night i hide under my bed watching out for the blue demon. i hear a noise that said you wish never come to new York city.i was scared of demons so i ran to my room and went to sleep.
at 1:00 am
i woke up and saw the blue demon in my room and said
GO BACK TO YOUR OLD HOUSE.
the blue demon ran to the bathroom. i follow the blue demon. the blue demon open a box of swords. he use it to kill people. the blue demon kill me and my girlfriend.
the police look inside the house. the police found a note that said
YOU ARE NEXT.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:Im died
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
The borealis

so it was night i was playing some half life 2 episode 2 and when i finally finished it i got to modb to find some mods and i found a interesting one it was called borealis.exe there was no download but i found it on steam for 1 cent so i bought it when it finally downloaded i got to playing it but something odd was there was not main menu the game just jumped in i started playing it it was normal just wlking in the snow searching for the borealis and i found a canyon with stairs i got down and saw the borealis but the name of it was changed to why? and then the game just froze and my computer crashed and when i came back the game was gone from the desktop the steam library and from the steam store so i contacted valve and they said some guy put it on ilegaly and was gone to. one day i found the game it was called why?.exe i opened it and it was just text it was saying why? you made that accident i sorted out and it was one thing it was the accident from the half life game i thought thats why the borealis was mis...
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:Vidya games
Category:File Extensions
Category:Shortpasta
The bucket list

so there was a couple who were having a child. it was there first born. while cleaning out their office they found their bucket list. The husband (Chris) wouldn't show his wife his. The wife (Andy) said they should start doing their list. The husband was skeptical but agreed.
They ventured to the great canon, they went sky diving, and they also climbed mount Everest. The wife discovered her husbands bucket list in their room. She horrified to see that the final thing on his list was to kill her. She was so shocked she went into labor. The husband found her and brought her to the basement. He cut out the baby and put him (Ronnie) into a chair. he tied his wife to a wall. He scalped her head and made the baby eat it. He pulled out all his wife teeth and ripped off her finger and toe nails. He poured acid all over his wife and set her a fire. Than ate her still semi alive. The cops never found any trace of her left. They could never pin the murder on Chris.
15 YEARS LATER.
The son discovered what his father had done he than became Jeff the killer. He later found his half sister suicide Sally. They became a murderous pair.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
Category:Shortpasta
The budget for my nightmares is getting smaller

I used to have the best dreams. Sweeping cinematic shots of beautiful landscapes as we flew across the world. Stars like George Clooney and Brad pit would make cameos on occasion. Even when something bad would happen it would look so real you couldn't tell I was dreaming.
So I turned 30 yesterday and maybe it's just that I'm more cynical and jaded lately but my dreams have been so fake I have woke up with Siskal and Ebert fucking next to me giving my dreams 2 thumbs down. The acting is bad the story's are bad and the situations aren't believable.
Yesterday I was being chased by a monster and after about 2 mins he was doubled over panting so hard his mask fell off and a guy named Chaz apologized and said this never happened before and went to sleep. The night before that there was a plane crash in my dream that consisted of a guy throwing a foam toy plane covered in lighter fluid into a field and setting it on fire.
Even as I type this, I just woke up from one of the worst dreams people have. I was at school and forgot to put my clothes on that morning, so I was trying to get through the day with out anyone noticing, but the budget of this one was so low that they couldn't afford extras, so I actually made it home instead of waking up in a cold sweat!
Someone please help me by crowdsourcing my next dream via Indiegogo, pleaseeeeeeeeeee.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Dreams
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta