The Ultimate Slash Cliche Drinking Game

The Ultimate Slash Cliche Drinking Game is a humorous meta essay/drinking game by Predatrix. It was published in Southern Lights #11.5 in 1999. The author gives a list of cliches that can be found in Blake's 7 slash fanfiction for each of main male characters and then prescribes the amount of alcohol to drink after spotting the said cliches. She also adds the type of story in which each cliche can be found most often ("soppy", "Oblaque", "hurt/comfort" etc.) and sometimes alludes to the specific stories.
==Avon==
* Avon cries ("Yes He Has A Heart After All.")
* Characters wonder about connection between Avon's leather clothes and sexuality ("Bonus gulp if other character makes joke about other meaning of "stud.")
* The risk of putting out Avon's back during sex ("Take one sip for every time someone worries he's going to put his back out doing that... or one bonus gulp if you manage to find the story where he actually does put his back out.")
* Characters (usually Avon and Blake) dare each other into sex
* Avon goes into brothel and someone from the crew secretly follows him 
* Avon's angsty past ("Avon has been emotionally damaged by his past and needs to be Loved very Gently until he gets over it.")
* Hurt/Comfort ("Avon has been beated up/raped and needs to be Loved very Gently until he gets over it.")
* BUARA ("Avon has been beated up/raped... and is just going to be beaten up/raped again until end of story.")
* Gay Avon ("Avon was so determinedly homosexual that Anna needed to use a strap-on dildo to make him happy. Unconvincing attempt to get past canon. Have these authors never heard of bisexuality?")
* Avon's partner has difficulty undressing him ("Half sip every time character refers to how over-dressed Avon is or has difficulty undressing him. Extra bonus gulp if anyone ever finds a story where the character gives up on having sex with Avon because he can't manage to undo him. I bet it never happens!")
* Avon never says the word "love" and is uncomfortable with falling in love ("In extreme forms of this plot he shows a clean pair of heels if Blake says he loves him. Curiously enough, in Avon/Vila stories, Vila is usually allowed to bet a bit Soppy because he's seen as unthreatening. Tarrant? Who he?")
* Other small cliches ("Author refers to Avon's "sculpted lips" or "wine-red cock". Avon gets called "the comp tech," or if the author is feeling particularly bumptious, "the computer whizz" or "computer ace.")
==Blake==
* Authors have Blake survive after Gauda Prime without explaining much how and why ("Author says something like: "it really was a miracle Blake had survived". This is usually a short paragraph just whizzing lightly past the end of episode Blake so the author can hurry on to angst/screwing/wobbly-lipped Avon or whatever she's really interested in.")
* Galley Fic
* Blake has a huge penis ("This was either started by Sylvia Knight, or other fans know something about Gareth Thomas I don't...")
* Blake always tops
* Blake loves giving oral sex "because he's the oral type of personality" ("It's Just Like Thumb-Sucking Only Different")
* Blake doesn't remember having sex/how to have sex after the mindwipe
* Other small cliches ("Blake is referred to as "the rebel hero," "Fearless Leader," or overwhelmingly often as "the burly rebel." This, incidentally, rather neatly answers the question of why we never seen a Blake/Gan story: the difficulty of working out who's the "burly rebel," the "bigger man" (either in height or cock-size) or "the curly-haired man" would probably be insuperable.")
==Vila==
* Vila is very good with his hands ("Bonus half-sip for any mention of Vila's talented mouth. Bonus gulp if you find the story where Avon, in total astonishment at how good Vila is with his tongue, suggests "What did you do with that lock--lick it open?")
* "Feminized" Vila ("Clingy, frightened and rather domestic. Does everything a girly romantic heroine does except wear a skirt. Guess who's the Dark-But-Charming Prince who takes CinderVila away from all this?")
* Vila is an inventive and playful lover who likes talking in bed ("one bonus gulp for the suggestion that Avon needs someone to help him Loosen Up and Have Fun.")
* Avon is willing to have sex with Vila because Vila "makes few demands" ("You Don't Have To Say You Love Me, Honest!")
* Post-Orbit fic ("Why Didn't You Just Write Me a "Dear Vila" Letter If You Wanted to Dump Me?")
* Vila offers himself to Avon in exchange for protection in prison ("He is rather unsettled to find himself enjoying it.") 
* Other small cliches ("The "little thief." The "master thief." The "smaller man." The "lighter-haired man." Vila wobbles his lip when he's upset.")
==Gan==
* Gan is very careful not to hurt his partner during sex 
* Gan as a comforter for Avon ("Avon Lost His Teddy Bear Too Young")
* Gan protects Vila or Avon in prison, but refuses to take advantage of them ("Vila or Avon is then pissed off that he hasn't been taken advantage of, because Vila quite fancies him, or because it offends Avon's sense of duty to have a quid pro quo rejected.")
==Tarrant==
* Author or character lovingly describe Tarrant's looks (particularly his smile/legs/arse) 
* Avon likes playing with Tarrant's curls ("I really should have put this in the "Blake" section as well.")
* Tarrant is mean to Vila to hide that he's attracted to him
* "Tarrant is desperate to prove his competence in front of Avon."
* "Tarrant wants to dominate Avon sexually but is hopelessly incapable."
==References==
Category:Blake's 7 Meta
Category:Slash Meta
Category:Meta in Print
Category:1999