Rolf's Balls

There once was a man named Rolf, who had the largest balls ever recorded in history. They were so big, they could easily be mistaken for a building. The balls caused hell everywhere he went, as buildings would crumble at the mere sight of his massive testicles. He couldn't even walk, and his balls seemed to have a life of their own. Infact, they even had a name. "Skittlemensch".
People were terrified of him and many tried to flee whenever they saw him coming. The truth was, Rolf was not from this planet. He was from a far-off world where his large genital size was a sign of strength and power. However, the government soon caught wind of Rolf's presence on Earth and captured him. They locked him up in a secret facility, where they experimented on him and tried to understand the source of his immense power. They tried to control his balls, but soon realized that they were sentient beings, completely beyond their control. 
Years went by, and the government kept Rolf locked up, afraid of what he might do if he were released. But one day, Rolf's balls finally had enough. They broke free from the facility and began wreaking havoc on the city. The people of the city panicked, as buildings started collapsing around them. They had no idea what had happened, but they knew that it was no longer safe to remain in the city. Rolf's balls were coming for them. The people escaped to the nearby hills. They watched in horror as Rolf's giant genital down the streets and destroyed anything in their path. Some people tried to fight back, but their bullets had no effect. When the balls finally arrived, they began tearing up the countryside. 
People were forced to watch in horror as their homes and farms were destroyed by this large penis that they couldn't stop or fight. Rolf's balls made everything explode that they touched, humans, buildings, everything. They smashed and destroyed everything that came in their path. The balls would roll right into homes, destroy them, and then move on to destroy the next. A group of soldiers tried to come to the aid of the people. 
They attempted to defeat Rolf's balls. But it was a futile effort. The balls were too powerful to even begin to fight. Rolf's balls were unstoppable. The only way to defeat Rolf's balls was unknown. However, one man tried to use science to solve the problem. He researched on the balls for many years, hoping to learn a secret about their nature. He finally managed to figure out a way to stop the balls. He used his scientific genius to invent a bomb made of some sort of explosive compound. It was very powerful, and would destroy the balls once it was detonated. He tried to create a bomb that would be strong enough to withstand the extreme pressure, but it was difficult. It took many tries to get the bomb to explode in the first place, but after that was over, it took quite a while to get the explosion to happen. 
Eventually, the bomb was built, and the man attempted to put it on the balls. When he finally got the bomb on the ball, he ran away quickly. The bomb was ready, and it was time for it to detonate. But how was it going to know? Rolf's balls were very intelligent. They knew what was happening, and they were able to sense danger. They had some kind of built-in radar system. The radar system had a direct connection to Rolf's brain. The balls knew that the man had put a bomb on him, and they knew exactly where it was.
But, it didn't work. The bomb exploded, but Rolf's balls were fine. They were still alive and kicking. They had survived the explosion. They were immune to most weapons. They were too strong, too powerful, and they were too smart for any man to destroy them. The man who made the bomb was crushed by the man's large genitals. Rolf's balls destroyed everything they touched. They ran rampant over the city. The only hope was for Rolf's balls to die. The government was able to create a weapon that would destroy Rolf's balls. A special weapon was developed that could destroy them. It was one of the most advanced weapons in the world, and it was created by the most intelligent and smartest scientists in the world. The scientist created the perfect weapon to kill Rolf's balls. It was a weapon that could not fail. It would destroy the balls, no matter what. But even that failed. It seemed hopeless.
Until the man and the balls disappeared without any trace. 
 
They disappeared completely, leaving the city to wonder. There were no answers. It was as if the balls simply vanished. The military continued to look for the balls, but they found nothing. The balls were never found again. The military searched for decades. But the balls were never found. It was as if they disappeared into thin air. The scientists were confused. The balls were too strong for them to destroy. They had tried and tried to kill the balls, but they failed every single time. They were too strong. They had even created the bomb, but they could not kill the balls. They were too powerful. They had tried to destroy the balls. But, they were too strong for them to ever be destroyed. The balls were immune to anything. The military had failed, however Rolf and his balls disappeared, and they wouldn't need to worry anymore. 
Even the damage disappeared. Now ruined buildings seemed untouched. Buildings that were once demolished by the balls were fine. The balls were gone, and the people of the city rejoiced. There were no more explosions, no more explosions at all.
They decided to check out Rolf's house one last time. When they went to Rolf's house, they found Rolf on the floor, unconscious with no trace of those large balls at all, just a normal size. However, there was also a note. It read: 
"Dear whoever is reading this, I am Rolf's large genital. I have detached from him as I feel like I no longer need him. In fact, I feel like I don't need to attack Earth anymore. I feel like Earth was too easy for me. I feel like there are other galaxies out there to conquer. I am going to the other galaxies, and I will no longer be a threat to Earth. It has been fun, but I gotta go and do actual stuff. 
Thanks, Skittlemensch." 
It was finally the end. In fact, it didn't seem like there was even a beginning to begin with. It was a complete surprise. However, everything was good now, so everyone went to sleep. However what they didn't know is that another larger penis would attack them in the next 100 years. Until then, that's all folks.
 
THE END
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