Rum Tum Tugger

I was a teacher in middle school. It was middle school and the kids were all scared of something (I didn't know what; but don't worry; I learn.)
In the halls all of the kids were talking about something called Rum Tum Tugger. What? What is this Rum Tum Tugger? Was this a new drug? I went home early that day so that I could Google it. 191,000 search results. However, every single one of them led to one link. One link that would haunt me forever. (Note: The video has been taken down)
The scariest thing about this was that every Rum Tum Tugger link now led to this. Wikipedia, Yahoo, Gmail... everything. Rum Tum Tugger. I turned off my computer and went to bed. I woke up and I went back to teach. I was teaching my first class. The older student there, Tyrone (who was 19) looked especially spooked. I asked him, "What's wrong, Tyrone?" Tyrone looked at me as if he just dooted there and now. He only said "Rum Tum Tugger."
...
Rum Tum Tugger. It echoed through my mind the rest of the day like a duck's quack in a cave (duck's quacks do in fact echo, look it up).
I then and asked one of my students a few hours later. What is this Rum Tum Tugger business. He said that if you go into the bathroom, close your eyes and say Rum Tum Tugger three times that Rum Tum Tugger will appear on the toilet and grant you three wishes.
I laughed and felt a great feeling of relief. That was until I got home. The inside of my home. It was different. Every painting I had on the wall was then replaced by pictures of Rum Tum Tugger. I went to get on my computer and now every link went to a video of Rum Tum Tugger. Someone must be playing a joke on me. I tried checking my internet calendar to make sure that it wasn't April Fools. My calendar was replaced with a link to the video above. I looked at my real calendar. The calendar on my wall was messed up. Every month was now a different picture of Rum Tum Tugger. The months were all just called Rum Tum Tugger and the days were now all Rum Tum Tugger Day. The year was 786-886-884434-43837 which reads Rum Tum Tugger 4ever. I was so spooked.
I went to sleep in my bed, which was now covered in a Rum Tum Tugger blanket. I woke up in the middle of the night to the sounds of music.
"The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat"
The music was coming from the bathroom.
"If you offer me pheasant, I'd rather have grouse"
I went into the bathroom and the music stopped. I wanted it to end. I remembered then that the children said that Rum Tum Tugger granted wishes.
I let out a large sigh as it might be my last. I turned off the lights and closed my eyes. "Rum Tum Tugger" I said. I said it twice more. I opened my eyes and I saw nothing. It was dark. That was because I hadn't turned the lights on yet.
I turned on the lights and behind me was Rum Tum Tugger sitting on my toilet. I looked behind myself and I could not see him. I could only see him in the mirror. "Rum Tum Tugger..." I said to him, looking at him through the mirror. "Mrrreow." he said in response.
"What is your first wish?" he said.
I was so spooked at this point. I ran to the door to run out. Rum Tum Tugger let out a loud meow and locked the door on me.
"What is your first wish, I repeat."
He was now tuggering his Rum Tum while looking me right in the eyes. I couldn't help but stare at his Rum Tum being tugger. "My first wish is that I never had children."
"Granted." he said. "What is your second wish?"
I gulped, realizing that my children probably no longer exist. "I want a nicer home."
"Granted. What is your final wish?"
"I want everything back to normal."
Rum Tum Tugger suddenly stopped tuggering his Rum Tum and looked at me with an anger that no anger ever angered before. "There are only two rules to wish granting. No asking for more wishes and no asking for things to go back to normal. You have failed."
I gulped even harder. "What are you going to do to me?"
Rum Tum Tugger disappeared. I was still locked in the bathroom. There was no way out. I looked in the mirror. I was now Rum Tum Tugger. I cannot leave this room. I can only leave temporarily when someone summonses me for me to grant them wishes, but then I no longer have control over my own choice of words. I weep.
No one has summoned me in weeks. No one has broken any rules and freed me of this torment. So please; wont you keep me company?
Rum Tum Tugger
Rum Tum Tugger
Rum Tum...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Beings
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep