BurningTorrent Celebrates the Legalisation of Gay Marriage in The USA

26.06.15 or 06.26.15. Whatever you call the date. The day BurningTorrent woke up and saw what had taken place earlier that morning. Gay marriage had been legalised in all 50 states!
Nearly exploding with happiness, she decided to teleport to America to celebrate. However, not all was as it seemed. The Westboro Baptist Church were preparing for the 'Impending Apocalypse' Of course, nobody knew about this yet, but it was pretty obvious what they were doing.
"Wow. No matter what their sexual orientation, there are going to be some butt hurt people today."
The crowd cheered as the Whitehouse was nearly completely covered in rainbow puke.
"Ahh, the most historic thing I've been alive to see. Well except for 9/11, but I was too young to remember that. And this is actually a good event."
However, no matter how high everyone's spirits were, The WBC were preparing to invade the streets of Washington to 'Kill all Morons' Did they mean kill all cigarettes? That's the word the British use for them. If only it did mean that.
All of a sudden, a massive tank appeared in the vicinity. It had the letters 'W.B.C' marked on it in almost hyper realistic spray paint.
"YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELL! WE NEED TO CONTROL WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN YOUR OWN HOMES, AWAY FROM THE PUBLIC EYE!" A loud voice boomed out from the tank. It was Shirley Phelps-Rodger.
"Oh what the fuck. People just want to celebrate being able to have rights they deserved given to them, and you just HAD to be a bunch of fucking dickheads and show up."
Instead of taking the expected route of bombing everything, every member of the Westboro Baptist Church emerged holding their signs saying 'God Hates Morons' and 'God Hates America' God, why are they being so disrespectful to Atheists? Why are they just a bunch of arseholes in general? Why are they all inbred pricks who are doomed to fuck within their own church because they're a bunch of fucking shitheads?
The world may never know.
As they began to picket, the FBI showed up and tried to kill them, as they had been given permission from Obama the third, twice removed to commit the act.
"THANKS OBAMA!" Shirley shouted, as her body hit the floor.
'Well, let the bodies hit the floor people amirite?" BT shouted. The whole crowd cheered.
But, as they died, we didn't realise they had connected explosive devices to their body. The whole place exploded.
BT survived because she's immortal, but many of the crowd were injured, or killed. The FBI had somehow managed to survive despite being in a 2ft radius of the blast. I guess that conspiracy about super soldiers was true.
"Why were these idiots such idiots?" Wow. Smart BT. Smart.
BT was filled with rage and therefore, she decided that revenge was in order.
Hopping in the tank and replacing 'WBC' with 'Taste the Rainbow Motherfucker' in rainbow coloured writing, and making the colour of the tank less grey and more Gay Rainbow Coloured, she set off to the Westboro Baptist Church.
When she arrived there, she went inside and found a convenient 'Self Destruct' lever on the wall.
"WHAT A TWIST!" She shouted, trying to imitate M. Night Shyamalan's voice.
She pulled it and the church exploded in rainbow coloured confetti. The tank also exploded into rainbow coloured fireworks as the night sky was illuminated. The right wing conservatives would not be happy about this.
But, for all the decent people out there, this would be a day to remember, for all of the right reasons.
Happy One Day Late Gay Marriage Legalisation Celebrations Everyone!
But, where was Eridan?
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