Campaign Leaflet

__NOTOC__ __NOEDITSECTION__
:Campaign Leaflet. The name just breathes integrity. Maybe it's the silent g, maybe it's the large pay check I will receive in the mail, or maybe it's the tireless effort that Campaign Leaflet has done behind the scenes, spreading the words and ideals of our leaders in a simple and understandable form to the public at large. From the smallest environmental group to the largest political party, Campaign Leaflet has helped them all. Campaign Leaflet possesses all the strong ideals and bold font we need to prosper in this rapidly changing world. Campaign Leaflet is the advertising medium for YOU.Please do not expose Campaign Leaflet to harsh criticism as Campaign leaflet is liable to fold, bend or crease under pressure; same goes for investigative journalists, dogs and toddlers. Campaign Leaflet does not count as a coupon for the local pizzeria and can not be exchanged for pizza and/or other consumable items. Campaign leaflet can be made into a cute little boat, however it does not float and is liable to become soggy and floppy if exposed to water and/or harsh questioning. Authorized Patriotic Local Printing Office®, Generic heartland town®.
Why is Campaign Leaflet the one for Me?
 Campaign leaflet cares for the Poor. Campaign leaflet will help house the poor and destitute, and provide food for those most desperate. Campaign leaflet himself spent time as a drifter during college, traveling wherever the wind took him, floating about in alleyways behind Printer King.
 Campaign leaflet cares for the environment. Campaign leaflet realizes the damage to the environment we all do. Campaign leaflet will help the environment in the long term, using ways only he can do to improve the growth of great rainforests or just local parks and flower beds.
 Campaign leaflet cares for the sick. Campaign leaflet has been used as a tissue on at least 3 separate occasions, helping to ease the pain of the sick. In fact campaign leaflet cares so much that, when he turns over the final page, he wants his organs to be taken and made into sterile, hospital grade tissues.
 Campaign leaflet cares for families. Campaign leaflet has a loving brochure and has bred 2 beautiful handouts and one bouncing fridge magnet. Campaign leaflet often takes time out from its busy schedule to help support its spin-offs succeed and make sure they are promoting their cause to the right people.
 Campaign leaflet cares for the little people. Campaign leaflet will take on the big corporate catalogues and battle for local business representation on small town billboards across the country.
 Campaign leaflet cares for the economy. Campaign leaflet was once head of the notice board at the NYSE, and has contact with several top memos and post-it notes. In these unsure economic times we need promotional material that doesn't just carry the 1 but the economy as a whole.
 Campaign leaflet cares for minorities. Campaign leaflet has experienced first hand the discrimination minorities endure; Campaign leaflet was the child of a black printer in one of the most violent printing houses of New York. Turned down from several positions on the noticeboard, refused entry to suburban letterboxes, victimized as just a piece of junk mail. But no longer. Campaign leaflet will break this cycle of racism; whether they are black, white, yellow, blue or that strange glossy pink colour, all advertising material will be judged not by the color of its paper or style of font, but by the number of references to FREE on its cover.
 Campaign leaflet cares for trade. Campaign leaflet has personally been on 3 shipments of high quality local glass to China, protecting our fragile trade from the cracks of mistrust and careless port workers.
 Campaign leaflet cares for the nation. Whether informing tourists or inciting terrorists, Campaign leaflet will do its part to help make this great nation of ours even greater.
 Campaign leaflet cares for terrorists… stopping terrorists. Campaign leaflet has personally served on many dangerous espionage missions for the nation, entering enemy countries by air, capturing the hearts and minds of locals and polluting the local water supply with tonnes of soggy paper.
 Campaign leaflet cares for fuzzy little bunnies. Campaign leaflet knows about dedication; Campaign leaflet once spent two weeks non-stop caring for the cutest, fuzziest bunnies imaginable - cushioning their every fall, satisfying their every hunger and absorbing their every mistake. If Campaign leaflet can take their business it most certainly can take your business.
Campaign Leaflet Answers the Hard Questions
:Q. What about the competition? Hand-outs seem nice, or how about those glossy brochures?
:A. While these substitutes may seem presentable or even "informative" they all lack substance. Hand-outs are made from only 40% real pulp, who knows what the other 60% is. Do you want something that could potentially be 60% unknown, unexperienced, unpatriotic pulp promoting your cause? I think not. Brochure... the less said about brochure and its little "glossy finish" addiction the better...
:Q. Isn't Campaign Leaflet just completely biased?
:A. Campaign Leaflet has integrity. Campaign Leaflet doesn't stoop to the lows of its, how would you say, pathetic opposition. Campaign Leaflet does not deal in that form of tabloid gossip and smear campaigns, despite the despicable paper-cuts one particular advertising medium gave to several orphans a few day ago.
Campaign Leaflet; The Promotional Medium for YOU.	
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Category:FA Politics