A story built one "a story at a time" at a time

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==Rules!==
#Each story must have a name which builds up to a story. Example:
##Story 1: Shit happened, because
##Story 2: Luna destroyed the world.
#Each story, you can add as much or as little text as possible.
#Don't change existing text, just add on from the end of the latest story.
#Each title can only be up to 8 words long. (yeah, we broke that pretty early on)
#Each story within the titles must be unrelated to the titles or the story above. They can be related to the previous story if you wish. (ditto)
##The story made from the titles is in the same multiverse as the other series, however. You know, where the moon destroyed another solar system, and god reset the universe?
#Have fun!
#Last person to edit wins!!
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Category:Writing
Category:Uncyclopedia Games
Category:Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
Category:In-jokes
Category:Incoherent
Category:Moccasins
Category:A category built one article at a time
==Story==
=== A new character Laika is a smart parrot. ===
The title of this story coincidentally fit exactly the max amount of words your allowed to use. THAT'S CRAZY! I promise it was really an accident. And yea. Blah blah blah. What am I doing, I really should let the next person edit now. Ok. Ok. Well. Ok.
=== Laika is obsessed with crackers ===
Seriously, when I didn't give her that, she caused my house to be destroyed. Sadly the insurance companies immediately filed for bankruptcy at that time. Well, time for the next story.
=== Laika is as intelligent as a human. And ===
In the land of the world, the moon ate the sun and everyone threw spears into the sky for no reason. 5 seconds after the moon finished eating the sun, the moon imploded and a new sun was born.
=== Laika turned into Benson ===
THAT'S ALL THAT HAPPENED. AND THEN LAIKA BENSON WENT TO LOOK FOR POND WHALES BEFORE FINDING OUT THAT THEY REALLY ARE JUST COMMUNIST PROPAGANDA AFTER ALL. AND REMEMBER, BENSON IS BETTER THAN YOU!!!
=== Benson turned into Zombiebaron? ===
Unfortunately Benson didn't remember that he was better than you, so he slowly and painfully melted into a puddle of blood and flesh. It was from this puddle that Zombiebaron arose. I think? There wasn't any Zombiebaron's in this area before so... next story please!
=== Zombiebaron turns into OPOSSUM ===
One day, Zombiebaron was walking down the street and looking for brains to eat when a radioactive rodent bit him. At first, he didn't really care about it that much- he was a zombie, after all, so he couldn't even feel the bite. However, he then realized that his height had started lowering, and fur had started growing on his skin. Zombiebaron looked at himself in a small puddle near him, only to see he had become an opossum - but not any opposum, no, the . His hunger for brains became a hunger for moccasins, and started terrorizing the Kingdom of Moccasinia by consuming anything that was made of or had any resemblance with moccasins. And that's the story of how OPOSSUM destroyed the kingdom of Moccasinia in only one day. 
=== Wait, is that the Great Lord Móckasiin? ===
Yes, i can in fact confirm that the Great Lord Móckasiin has appeared. He was quite obviously pissed off at OPOSSUM for destroying his kingdom, and wanted to kill him. But OPOSSUM simply said "nuh uh" and left. Unfortunately OPOSSUM didn't count on Móckasiin seeking international support, so now he's wanted by the Interpol. Whoops!
OPOSSUM was wanted for war crimes now, and unlike a certain other person he wasn't in charge of a powerful nation in order to resist any arrest. So he came up with a plan. He would take control of California. How would he do that? Well, he could just stage a coup. But how exactly would he do this? Well, he used to be Laika at some point, and Laika had the unexplained power to hypnotize people, so that was exactly what he was going to do. And so, the Ojai coup took place. First, he hypnotized a bunch of soldiers to act as his private army, just in case. Then he hypnotized the Californian state officials to go to Ojai. There, he would hypnotize them into declaring independence and subsequently handing the administrative power to OPOSSUM. This move would obviously piss off the people, so he planned to hypnotize them too. And the rest of the US. And also the world. It was a flawless plan. So he went on to do all this.
...he succeeded in most of those things. As it turns out he isn't able to hypnotize more than 40 million people at a time. At least he owns California now, which he subsequently rebranded to become the People's Republic of Greater Ojai.
Obviously, most of the US isn't exactly happy with this, but that's their problem.
== The real OPOSSUM watches from nearby Ventura, ==
and sits back there in confusion, as his Laika-derived clone takes over his entire state. Old OPOSSUM, henceforth referred to simply as POSSUM, plans to get himself to Ketchikan, Alaska, despite the heavy rain and the 2,000 mile-journey that would be a living hell. POSSUM knew that Laika Benson Zombiebaron OPOSSUM 2 was on his tail the whole time.
== Unfortunately for OPOSSUM, ==
the US populace, military, government and marsupials couldn't tell the difference between him and OPOSSUM, so the second he stepped outside of Greater Ojai he was immediately arrested and put on trial for insubordination. But he had heavy plot armor, and as such escaped and immediately fled to Greater Ojai again. But now OPOSSUM knew that POSSUM wasn't under his control, so being there wasn't safe for him either. POSSUM figured that Australia would be a perfect place to flee to, so he decided to build a boat to go there. Except the winds weren't in his favor and he crashed straight into Easter Island on his way there. He was injured from the crash, and his boat was destroyed, so he was effectively stranded there until someone decided to save him.
=== Sike, ===
he's been hallucinating. The treeless Easter Island will be his home for quite some time. POSSUM now hopes that the moai heads will be good company. POSSUM has decided to chillax amongst the horses that have been introduced to the island, their feces are a valuable source of nutrition to a desperate creature such as himself. POSSUM knew that his only hope to get to Australia now was to steal someone's boat. But opossums are pretty scary little animals, and sneaky as well, so POSSUM easily captured a boat and set off. Suddenly a storm came and the ocean currents changed their course, crashing POSSUM into the Antarctic ice. Hopefully the penguins won't commit war crimes in your basement.
=== Oh oh... ===
I have bad news for you, pal. The penguins have, in fact, commited several war crimes in your basement. How they've been able to commit war crimes in such a small place goes beyond me. What I'm aware is that, thanks to them, the UN has declared your basement as a criminal entity, and they're going to try to neutralize it before the penguins can keep with their antics. Right now, the US is launching several nukes to your house, with the intention of getting rid of the penguins from your basement. These penguins have already escaped your basement and moved to greener pastures, but the US does not give a fuck. Just warning you, so that you have enough time to exit your house before...
Oops, too late. 
Well, it's not like you mattered that much, anyways. Let's see what POSSUM is doing in the Antartic ice, shall we?
=== POSSUM's boat hasn't broken, ===
but he's getting really fucking hungry, and freezing to death. That shitty snowcave that he built won't last him too long, and POSSUM worries that the thing could collapse any second. Even with the growls and moans of hungry leopard seals, yetis and White Walkers that POSSUM hears every night, the creatures that POSSUM fears the most are the horny penguins outside. Penguin mating season is hear, and those waddling fatasses will try to fuck anything that moves (or doesn't move, for that matter. POSSUM once played dead for too long and woke up with five penguins wobbling on top of him and his entire head in some tight pengussy. At the break of dawn, after five painful days in Antarctica, POSSUM set off for Australia in his stolen motorboat.
=== POSSUM then went on to sail through the most dangerous sea in existence, ===
and at some point he spotted a white island in the distance. Excited at seeing non-Antarctic land, he immediately drove his boat there, only to find out that there wasn't any sort of human settlement or even human activity there. He then promptly went through his downloaded copies of Wikipedia articles about the Seven Seas and found out that he was on Bouvet Island. Which is great news for anyone who wants warmth and food in the short term. Except, you know, it isn't. He also read that it is the most remote and isolated island in the world, which is also kinda not great news. Pissed off at this he set sail for wherever the wind was going, which is east (it's always east down there). But he was running out of fuel, so he decided to just go to Kerguelen instead of Australia, because even though that place sucks, it's at least populated. But when he ended up there, he was welcomed by a face he never though he'd see. You see, he ended up meeting John, the joke character he partially created for a joke page on a joke wiki a couple of months prior to this happening. But now John had become real, and he was very specifically on this inhospitable island in the Southern Ocean of all places. And he also had a plan to take down the fake OPOSSUM ruling Greater Ojai.
===Becoming slightly dead of hypothermia.===
Møqásÿn Rein broke POSSUM's non-antarctic boat by the stellar wake of his Cessna 172, but luckily there was a ham radio DXpedition on Bouvet at the time. When POSSUM washed up there, all POSSUM had to do was promise all the members of the DXpedition $10,000 each and to get his radio license when he got home. Unfortunately, POSSUM was a wanted criminal, and when they radioed their QSL manager and learned this, they threw POSSUM off the cliff into the sea. POSSUM began to freeze in the -1 °C (30°F) water.
== Fortunately for OPOSSUM, ==
John rescued him from the (surprisingly hot) Kerguelen water. You see, John had basic media literacy and was able to see that OPOSSUM and POSSUM were two different people. And so he disguised POSSUM as an oversized squirrel and took the first boat back to the US to execute his plan of defeating OPOSSUM.
Then his boat was flown off-course and they crashed into Brazil. Even worse, their boat had drifted along two thirds of the Amazon river, meaning that they were in untouched jungle. So they both decided to try walking somewhere, and John knew exactly where to go. After a while of walking they arrived at a hut covered in knives. And you could probably already have guessed who lives there, but in case you don't, i'll tell you: it's Knife Girl. She lives all the way into the center of the jungle because her nature accidentally lead her to become a serial killer. There, she was briefed on John's plan, and she agreed to help with it. And so, they decided to go on their way to Greater Ojai.
Meanwhile, OPOSSUM had decided to launch an invasion of the rest of the US, as a distraction for him trying to find something that could power-up his psychic powers.
===Boats sprouted wings===
When POSSUM got home from his sojourn he never wanted to be stuck in a boat again, so he decided to get his pilot's license. Within 8 months, however, he got blackmailed into a job flying for Air Zimbabwe. Due to the extreme rate of death on POSSUM's flights, he was quickly extradited to France for killing thousands of their citizens with the lead-asbestos-arsenic-cyanide cabins of the Cessna 172 he flew. This is a short subheading.
=== Wings sprouted OPOSSUM clones, ===
and they immediately flew straight at POSSUM & co. They were defeated quite easily though, and they decided walking all the way to Greater Ojai was a horrible idea and decided to use a teleport scroll to instantly get there instead. This is an even shorter subheading.
=== And they all lived happily ever after?===
No, they didn't! By the time that the O-clones found the teleport scroll, the extradition had been completed, but POSSUM plead not guilty on account of blackmail and the judge ruled in his favour. But to do this, he had to reveal what AZ was blackmailing him with: his kinky gay orgy sex tape (Nice try, I know you want to see it) with the male members of the Bouvet DXpedition, which he did to get them to forgive his debts. He later appeared on Associated Press News because of his high-profile case, explaining that he is not gay, but hobosexual and a bit bisexual, which explains why he was aroused enough by those shoddy old smoking men with beards, and that they were the gay ones, not him. 
Once the O-clones had made it to Ojai, California and met up with their boss named Alula (not User:Alula), they were banished, coincidentally, back to Antarctica on Air Zimbabwe flight 143513.
=== It only got worse from there. ===
In Antarctica, that O-clone encountered a gigantic block of ice. He used his laser eyes (Yes, he has laser eyes. He was a special-edition clone.) on the block of ice. The block melted to reveal...Godzilla! Godzilla was back on Earth! He left Antaractica and stomped on the poor clone while doing it. Godzilla swam through the ocean toward Ojai. The entire republic of Ojai was destroyed by the monster. Some stupid soldiers shot at Godzilla but got killed. Godzilla was the king once again.
===Deep in the bowels of Your Mom,===
Deep in the bowels of the earth, beneath the O-clones' Antarctic camp that they called "Camp Your Mom" for absolutely no reason, there was an extremely gay explosion making each O-clone suddenly want horribly to fuck penguins. The penguins, understandably were none too pleased with this development. But the displeasure of the penguins had nothing on the sheer shock felt by the Al Gore/Hillary Clinton Environmental Corpse.
=== Everything went wrong. ===
The Al Gore/Hillary Clinton Enviromental Corps deployed half of their agents to Antarctica, but some of them were killed by Godzilla. The few agents that did survive decided to investigate what caused the explosion and found out that the explosion was caused by the Stormtroopers vs. Red Shirts device being destroyed. After examining the debris of the machine more closely, they realized that the destruction of the device had been caused by none other than the notorious...Jimbo Wales.
===Jimbo Wales had risen from the dead===
Jimbo Wales had been working as a night manager at a cemetery but due to his undiagnosed narcolepsy (or maybe just due to being tired) he had fallen asleep on the grave of one Møqàsýn Rein, after commenting on the odd name. When he awoke, he rose and felt a strange compulsion to charter a Cessna to take him south. But this was the same Cessna 172 from Air Zimbabwe and once airborne, it would not respond to any of the pilot's controls and once he was past his destination, Caracas Jimbo knocked on the flight deck door. "Hello?" said the captain with a strong Shona accent.
Since the pilot was trained at home in Zimbabwe, he had never flown this model of aircraft before and thought the lack of responsivity was normal. (How he got type rated in it, nobody knows.) The ICAO had recently sent troops to Zimbabwe to mandate parachutes on all their flights, so when the Cessna stalled out over Antarctica, Jimbo took the only parachute he could find, sewed it back together, and jumped out, landing on the self-destruct button of the Machine.
===But the Machine had a trick up its sleeve,===
and that trick was to fake its own self-destruction. This Machine then went on to sneak into Wikipedia's headquarters and make out sloppily with some other sentient Machine running the servers, causing Wikipedia to go down. Then both of the Machines fled the place because they realized that someone would come down to this dark room to find out what had just happened. Then, after fleeing all the way to some farmhouse in Saskatchewan, they made out some more. Jimbo, of course, had no clue that any of this had happened, since he was still in Antarctica.
===And that trick doomed us all. ===
The trick, taking the Wikipedia down, had thrown the whole world into chaos. Moccasins quickly became the most common form of user-generated encyclopedia, but moccasins weren't accurate! Jimbo's staff rapidly worked to bring it back online, but Wikipedia was dead. Uncyclopedia sat quietly in the background, laughing at the sheer irony of it all. "Uncyclopedia is the worst" said all of Jimbo's Wikipedians. Also, moccasins! But anyway, with Wikipedia down, Surgeons, airline pilots and military commanders had no way to figure out what to do and mass chaos ensued.
=== Especially due to all the grues. ===
Jimbo and the Wikipedians were so furious that they tried to genetically engineer Grues that were completely faithful and loyal to them. And their experiments worked! So Jimbo unleashed the Wikipedian Grues on Uncyclopedia. This caused a battle between the Wikipedian Grues and the Uncyclopedian (regular) Grues.
== The grues had discovered the power of Moccasins==
The Uncyclopedians had eaten the moccasins and had the Great God Mokkááwsen on their side. The collateral damage was crazy. This is a short heading.
=== And the Great God Mokkááwsen discovered the power of grues ===
Mokkááwsen made (the Uncyclopedian) grues sacred to the Moccasinian religion. He appointed one of the grues his High Moccasinian Priest and commanded the new High Priest to build a temple in Uncyclopedia. Several Uncyclopedians (humans not Grues) became acolytes.
====despite Jill Richard's meddling.====
Jill Richard was a former women, who changed her name from Jill Pussy to show he had a Richard now. He concealed grues in his basement, while he committed war crimes (yes this was in Ojai). He dressed up the Wikipedian grues like Uncyclopedians and let them loose to Mokkááwsen's chagrin when he found out. For this Jill was brought to meet with Mokkááwsen.
=====Sewing moccasins=====
Moccasins are the hardest things to sew. I mean, how many Europeans know how to sew together a moccasin? That's right, absolutely ZERO. No one wants to sew together moccasins because their tiny, teeny tiny little brains won't allow such things to happen. That's what makes moccasins so special.
======is easy======
But the Americans find it so easy. It must be something in the air over here, or it could be the Yak Musk Oxen. Anyway, back to the story.
===but no one will care.===
thumb|It doesn't matter how drunk you get. No one will care.
No one will care for the inevitable decline in popularity of the Pikachu clones. No one will care for the inevitable time when you get your first article featured. No one will care for the continuation of a story built one article at a time. No one will care for no one caring. It's like a hivemind, and no one will care for that simile.
====About...====
Face!
===John's big fat moccasins, which…===
got him all the way to Moccasinia, somehow. Don't ask me how he got there, though.