Hot Dogs, Horseshoes & Hand Grenades/Submachine Guns

=Submachine Guns=
Weapons on this page generally fall into the game's submachine gun category, with some exceptions; a few of the smaller specimens are categorized as machine pistols, a few are classified as PDWs (which, being more a marketing/company-applied term than a formally-defined one, can't really be classified as right or wrong), and some are rather oddly categorized as carbines.
==AEK-919K Kashtan==
The AEK-919K Kashtan is one of the available firearms in-game; it was added in the 1st Meatmas update, during the third week.
==Agram 2000==
2018's Meatmas update added an Agram 2000 (a Croatian variant of the Beretta M12) on its fifth day.
==American-180==
The American-180 was added on day 14 of the Meatmas 2020 Advent Calendar event; it is the game's first .22 LR-chambered SMG, and features the highest capacity of any non belt-fed in-game firearm. The game has two versions: a standard full-length version with a fixed stock (added on Day 14), and an additional version with a shorter barrel, a factory vertical foregrip, and a MAC-10-esque collapsible stock; this variant comes with half-sized 83-round magazines (though it can still use the standard ones), and is jokingly called the "American-90."
A fictional pneumatic weapon based on the American-180, dubbed the "Medical-180", was added in Update #100's second alpha build; it is meant for the "Meat Fortress" mode, and serves as an alternative to the Medic's fictional "Syringe Gun", trading the latter's compactness and ability to fire in full-auto for a higher magazine capacity, a higher muzzle velocity, and a longer effective range.
==="Medical-180"===
==Beretta Model 38A==
Update #52's eleventh alpha build brought along a Beretta Model 38A submachine gun.
==Beretta Mx4 Storm==
The fully-automatic variant of the earlier-added Cx4, the Beretta Mx4 Storm, was added in Update #52; possibly owing to its relation to the former, it is categorized in-game as a carbine.
==Bergmann MP18==
The eighth day of Meatmas 2018 added a Bergmann MP18, the oldest submachine gun on offer in-game, and one of the first to ever see service.
thumb|none|450px|Bergmann MP18 - 9x19mm Parabellum
==Błyskawica==
Added in the 11th alpha build of Update #52, the Błyskawica, a Polish submachine gun manufactured clandestinely under German occupation, is usable in H3.
==Brügger & Thomet MP9==
The Brügger & Thomet MP9 was added in the 2016 Meatmas update, permanently fitted with B&T's distinctive railed suppressor. Update #46 added a version without the fixed suppressor; the suppressor was then made an attachment in Update #52, which resulted in the removal of the suppressed version.
==Cobray M11/9==
A Cobray M11/9 was added through Update #50, AKA the 2017 Meatmas Update; it lacks a stock, and is fitted with an underbarrel accessory rail. It can use 3 different types of magazine - a 16-round short box, a 32-round long box, and a 72-round drum.
==CZ Scorpion Evo 3 A1==
Another much-requested addition, the CZ Scorpion Evo 3 A1 was introduced in Update #58. As part of the Scorpion family update on Meatmas 2022 day 16, the base Scorpion SMG model was refreshed, and two additional variants were added as well: The "Evo3 PDW", which has an IA SC9 integral suppressor, and the "Evo3 Stealth", which features a carbine-length forend and barrel (though it retains the military versions' fire selector), and a different integral suppressor.
==="Evo3 PDW"===
==="Evo3 Stealth"===
==FN P90 Tactical==
Added in Update 113's second alpha build as a replacement for the TR model below, the FN P90 Tactical is available in-game, classified as a PDW. It features a fully-modeled translucent magazine, something of a rarity both in H3VR and in video games as a whole.
==FN P90 TR==
The FN P90 TR is one of the numerous weapons added in the 2016 Meatmas update; it is categorized as a PDW in-game. After nearly eight years of service, the model was retired, being replaced with the Tactical model above.
==FN P90 USG==
Added directly after the above Tactical variant in Update #113 Alpha 3, the FN P90 USG is identical apart from the permanently fixed 1x scope.
==Gepard PDW==
The Gepard PDW is one of the available submachine guns in-game, having been added in the first Meatmas update; this marks the first known appearance of this rare Russian prototype PDW (which is also how it is classified in-game) in any form of media to date. Update #71, a whole 2-and-change years later, added a Russian-type dovetail optics rail to the side of the receiver.
==Heckler & Koch MP5A1==
The seldom-seen Heckler & Koch MP5A1 is the first SMG of a seemingly-astounding 28 total MP5 variants added in Update #63; these differ in trigger group (and thus available firemode), barrel type/length, caliber, and stock type. While many of these parts are interchangeable in reality, H&K apparently feel that avoiding ambiguity as to what specific parts come with a particular MP5 variant von der Stange is sehr wichtig.
==Heckler & Koch MP5A2==
A Heckler & Koch MP5A2 with a Surefire forend was one of the available firearms in-game. It was added to the game with Update #7. Update #24 made some changes, including the addition of a top rail, and the ability to adjust the sights and turn on the flashlight. The model was replaced in Update #63, not because there was necessarily anything wrong with it, but instead to maintain consistency with the other 27 MP5 variants added (the newer models all using SEF trigger groups instead of Navy ones for variants with safe-semi-auto selectors).
==Heckler & Koch MP5A3==
Another member of the MP5 family added in Update #63, the Heckler & Koch MP5A3 is available; like all of the 3-mode models, it has an SEF trigger group.
==Heckler & Koch MP5A4==
The burst-capable, fixed-stocked Heckler & Koch MP5A4 was also made available in Update #63's MP5 collection.
==Heckler & Koch MP5A5==
The MP5A4's sliding-stocked cousin, the Heckler & Koch MP5A5, was the last of the standard "A-series" MP5 variants added in Update #63 (though far from the last entirely).
==Heckler & Koch MP5/10==
Accounting for another 2 of Update #63's MP5 variants is the Heckler & Koch MP5/10; the two variants available are the fixed-stock "A4" and the collapsible-stocked "A5"; while this is in line with standard MP5 naming conventions, and both types of stock are available on the MP5/10, they are not known to be designated as such. Of note is that the MP5/10s are the first in-game firearms to be chambered in 10mm Auto; the cartridge, along with several others for which no corresponding firearms existed, were added back in Update #62.
==Heckler & Koch MP5/40==
Complimenting the pair of MP5/10s, Heckler & Koch MP5/40s with sliding and collapsible stocks were made available in Update #63.
==Heckler & Koch MP5K==
The original Heckler & Koch MP5K is also among the Update #63 group. Alongside the standard model, there are versions with fixed and collapsible stocks (the "MP5KA2" and "MP5KA3", respectively; as with the SP5K, this is in line with standard naming conventions, but H&K doesn't actually use such designations); all of these (along with the other variants listed below) are categorized in-game as machine pistols. While such weapons are not available straight out of the box (which is what von der Stange translates as from German, in case you were still scratching your head about that), they can easily be converted due to the aforementioned interchangeability of MP5-pattern butt-stocks.
thumb|none|450px|Heckler & Koch MP5K prototype (serial number 0001) - 9x19mm Parabellum
==Heckler & Koch MP5KA4==
The Heckler & Koch MP5KA4 is one of the available firearms in-game; it was added in Update #20. Update #63 replaced the model; like the MP5A2, there wasn't necessarily anything wrong with it, but it needed to be replaced for the sake of consistency (namely, the non-removable rail mount on top of the receiver didn't line up with the other variants' clean receivers and attachable claw mounts).
==Heckler & Koch MP5KN==
Complementing the other MP5Ks added in Update #63, the somewhat lesser-known Heckler & Koch MP5KN is an available option, distinguished by its extended, lugged barrel that allows for suppressor attachment. The "N" stands for "Navy", as this particular variant was developed for the US Navy.
==Heckler & Koch MP5K-PDW==
Between the release of Update #9 (when it was added) and Update #20 (when it was removed), the game's MP5K was actually a stockless MP5K-PDW, as identified by the distinctive muzzle device. It was replaced by the MP5KA4 due to inaccuracies in the model, many of which were magazine-related. The MP5K-PDW made a comeback in Update #63, being one of the update's many Heckler & Koch MP5 variants.
==Heckler & Koch MP5SD1==
Yet another MP5 variant added in Update #63 is the Heckler & Koch MP5SD1; prior to this, it was an available option for SWBs and Sosigs.
==Heckler & Koch MP5SD2==
Of course, seeing as Update #63's MP5 variants were consolidated into families, it's no surprise that the Heckler & Koch MP5SD2 also showed up.
==Heckler & Koch MP5SD3==
The Heckler & Koch MP5SD3 made an appearance in Update #63 as well.
==="MP5 Shadow"===
A fictional variant introduced in the April Fool's Day Update #108, the "MP5 Shadow" is an MP5SD3 (minus the integrated suppressor) converted to pump-action, using the ribbed rubber forend as a pump handle; the resulting weapon bears a resemblance to some spring-powered airsoft versions of the MP5. This weapon is based on the bizarre manual of arms of a similar gun used in the opening cutscene of Shadow the Hedgehog.
As an additional note, the Shadow is technically H3VR's first pump-action rifle, beating out any number of actual examples thereof.
==Heckler & Koch MP5SD4==
Obviously, the MP5SD family wouldn't be complete without the Heckler & Koch MP5SD4, so it too came along in Update #63.
==Heckler & Koch MP5SD5==
The fixed-stocked, 4-position-trigger-grouped Heckler & Koch MP5SD5 found time in its schedule to tag along for the release of Update #63.
==Heckler & Koch MP5SD6==
Rounding out Update #63's full collection of MP5SDs is the Heckler & Koch MP5SD6.
==Heckler & Koch MP7A1==
The Heckler & Koch MP7A1 is one of the numerous weapons added in the first Meatmas update; it is categorized as a PDW in-game. Update #87 added a special variant, dubbed the "Mp7 Sustenance"; it is meant as a reference to Half-Life 2's incarnation of the MP7 (an early prototype fitted with a reflex sight and an integral grenade launcher), and is accordingly fitted with a fixed reflex sight and a modified GP-25.
==Heckler & Koch UMP45==
The Heckler & Koch UMP45 is one of the available firearms in-game; it was added in Update #7, along with the MP5A2. Prior to the release of Update #52, it was permanently fitted with a vertical foregrip; the first alpha build of Update #100 replaced the model entirely.
==Heckler & Koch UMP9==
To go along with the remodeled UMP45, Update #100's first alpha build also included a Heckler & Koch UMP9.
==IMI Micro Uzi==
Update #54 added an IMI Micro Uzi to H3's collection, under the machine pistol class.
thumb|none|350px|IMI Micro Uzi with bent trigger guard - 9x19mm Parabellum
==="Uzi Nano"===
A joke variant of the Micro Uzi added as part of the April Fools' Day update (in Update #102 Alpha 2), the "Uzi Nano" somehow manages to make an even more compact version of the Uzi, with barely any room for a barrel or bolt. Interestingly enough, the idea for the Nano was actually proposed much earlier, as part of the "Future Sosig" Sosigun design contest; the original concept was chambered in "9x9mm", and used a sadly-not-present-in-game "shakefire" operating system.
==IMI Mini Uzi==
Along with the full-size versions, the IMI Mini Uzi was added in Update #59's ninth alpha build.
==IMI Uzi==
In the 9th alpha of Update #59, two versions of the Uzi were added: the solid-stocked "Classic", and the folding-stocked "Compact"; prior to this, in Update #52's 10th alpha, the folding-stocked version was added as an option for SWBs.
==Interdynamic KG-9==
A full-auto converted Interdynamic KG-9 is one of the available firearms in-game, categorized as a machine pistol; it features the same strange strange paintjob as the TEC-9. It is referred to as a modified version of the latter; it initially was, until Update #53 converted it from closed-bolt to open-bolt, effectively turning it into an earlier open-bolt KG-9. While the semi-auto variant's model was outright replaced in Update #105's first experimental build, the converted one was instead altered to make its proportions more accurate to the real deal.
Screenshots courtesy of Reddit user Shubishu.
==K-50M==
The 3rd weapon added in the 2018 Meatmas Update was a K-50M, a North Vietnamese variant of the PPSh-41. Notably, this is the first known major media appearance of this particular weapon.
=="Kalashniluger"==
The second variant of the Luger coming to the game in Update #52 is a downright bizarre modification of the P08, which has a considerable amount of AKM parts attached to it, including a stock, a handguard (with a Soviet-type dovetail rail on the side), a set of sights, and a barrel and gas tube, the latter of which actually contains the weapon's barrel; a hole has been placed in the front sight tower for this to fire through. As if that weren't ridiculous enough, it is also fully-automatic, which, due to the Luger's toggle-locked action, leads to a downright absurd rate of fire; in spite of this, it is categorized in-game as a carbine. Even more wildly, the weapon uses virtually all AK attachments, including a dovetail mount, a bayonet mount, and even the GP-25 grenade launcher.
However, perhaps the strangest thing about this weapon is that it actually exists. Made by German custom gun shop Waffen Werle, it is exactly what was described - an automatic Luger modded out with AKM parts.
==KRISS Vector==
The KRISS Vector Gen I is one of the firearms added in Update #37. Two variants of the weapon were initially available in-game: a standard one, and one fitted with the barrel shroud and extended barrel of the Vector CRB Enhanced (Gen II) civilian carbine variant, though still possessing the receiver of the Gen I version. Update #52 made an attachable suppressor out of the extended barrel's shroud, before Update #53 turned it into a shrouded barrel extension, and removed the now-redundant long-barreled Vector (which was turned into a semi-auto carbine, covered in greater detail on the relevant subpage). Both are fitted with a factory AR-15 stock adaptor, to which is attached a Magpul MOE fixed carbine stock; they were also initially fitted with non-removable vertical foregrips, until Update #52 made foregrips into attachments, and removed them from any weapons that initially had them.
=="Kuularuisku"==
Update #95 added this unusual submachine gun chambered in .25 ACP. It is based on a homemade .22 LR SMG seized by Finnish police, and thus lacks a proper name; as such, the modeler named it "Kuularuisku", a Finnish term that generally refers to either a machine gun or a ballpoint pen, and roughly translates to "ball hose".
==M1928 Thompson==
Update #52's laundry list of new weapons included the M1928 Thompson submachine gun, complete with optional 50- or 100-round drum magazines.
==M1A1 Thompson==
Added through Update #50, the classic M1A1 Thompson is usable.
==="Thompson MK-2"===
A fictional modernized variant of the M1A1 (created by 3D artist Egor Protonov) is also available, albeit only as a rare drop in Take & Hold mode (using the "Ricky Dicky Random" setting, which makes all weapon purchases cost 3 Override Tokens, and completely randomizes their output). The "Thompson MK-2" (which is the modeler's name for it; due to how it must be obtained, it has no in-game name). It features polymer furniture, a top rail for optics, a vertical foregrip, a collapsible stock, and a mounting point for suppressors; interestingly enough, it also uses the same "10mm DSM" ammunition as the in-game LAPD 2019 Blaster, including the specialty types such as buckshot and fragmentation grenades, though it lacks the LAPD 2019's railgun-assisted mode, and its fully-automatic fire can make use of the "Prox-Mine" rounds into a death sentence for the user and anybody nearby.
==M3 "Grease Gun"==
Along with the Thompson, Update #50 added the M3 "Grease Gun" to H3.
===Suppressed M3===
Update #51 added a variant with the OSS-type integral suppressor; while this isn't necessarily impossible, suppressors were more common on the later M3A1 variant. This choice was likely made to reuse most of the existing M3 model. The update also made the previously permanently-collapsed stock extendable.
==="Lil' Greasy"===
Update #84 (the 2019 Meatmas update) brought players several new gifts; the smallest of these was "Lil' Greasy", a shrunken-down version of the M3 classified as a machine pistol, with an ambidextrous charging handle, no stock, and a proportionally-shorter barrel. The weapon is a design from 3D artist Pavel Kutejnikov, who named it simply "Submachine Gun".
==MAC-10==
Along with some new features in Take & Hold mode, Update #50 added the MAC-10 to H3, complete with a cloth strap foregrip; a Sionics suppressor and a shrouded barrel extension (which, in another new feature, was made into a grabbable part) are also available options.
==MAC-11==
The MAC-11 is one of the available firearms in-game, having been added to the game in its infancy - all the way back in Update #4. Accordingly, it was the game's first open-bolt weapon, and the only one at all until the class was overhauled in Update #49.
Update #116 Patch 1 added a meme variant called the "Mac11 Ripcord". The entire trigger group is removed, as well as the sights and bolt handle, and are replaced with a ripcord mechanism in the back. The farther back the ripcord is pulled, the more shots are fired until the magazine is empty.
==="MAC-11 Ripcord"===
==MP40==
Added through Update #50, the iconic MP40 is available for use in H3VR; a later update made the folding stock usable, much to the joy of everyone who'd actually tried to use it any other way prior.
==Owen Submachine Gun==
The Owen Submachine Gun (specifically the MkI/42) was added on Day 15 of the Meatmas 2022 Advent Calendar event.
==PASAM==
The second of Update #52's 3 C96 variants is a derivative of the Schnellfeuer, and a rather curious one at that: a Brazilian PASAM submachine gun, modified with a top rail and a Vz. 61 Skorpion-esque top-folding stock.
The model itself is a publicly-available 3D asset by weapon artist Stefan Engdahl, going by the name "Mauser Assault Carbine" and sold on CG Trader alongside all the other C96 variants seen in-game as the "Mauser Pistol Pack." It is a strange hybrid which appears to be based on a photograph of a converted airsoft gun, with a standard C96 pistol grip like a Mod 1 PASAM but the barrel shroud attached to the top of the magazine housing rather than all along it, with a vaguely Thompson-like foregrip which is not really like either PASAM variant, and the folding wire stock which no variant had (the 2nd variant of the PASAM only had a fixed wire stock). On ArtStation, Engdahl acknowledged that it's a modification of his Mauser M712 model he made for fun.
==PP-19-01 Vityaz-SN==
Complimenting the earlier-added PP-19 Bizon, the PP-19-01 Vityaz-SN was added in Update #100's fourth alpha.
==PP-19 Bizon-2==
The PP-19 Bizon-2 is one of the available firearms in-game. It was added in Update #18; upon its release, it was permanently fitted with a side-mounted Picatinny rail adaptor, but this was made into an attachment in Update #40. Originally chambered in 9x19mm Parabellum (with a corresponding 53-round capacity), it was later made into the 9x18mm version with a 64-round capacity.
==PP-2000==
The PP-2000 is one of the many firearms added in the 1st Meatmas update; it is categorized as a PDW.
==PP-91 Kedr==
The PP-91 Kedr is one of the available firearms in-game, categorized as a PDW. It was added in Update #19; Update #24 gave it some changes, including a 2-setting rear sight and a side-mounted Picatinny rail.
==PPSh-41==
The iconic PPSh-41 submachine gun was added through Update #50, and is capable of using either 35-round box magazines or 71-round drums.
==="PPSh-14"===
A fictional version of the PPSh (created by 3D artist Pavel Kutejnikov), also added through Update #50, this weapon is seemingly intended as a modernized variant of the original 1941 design (which, if the name is anything to go by, was designed in 2014).
=="QC9 PDW" (Custom 9mm AR-15)==
Added through Update #46, the "QC9 PDW" is an AR-15-patterned submachine gun (categorized as a PDW in-game, predictably enough) chambered in 9x19mm. It appears to consist of a QC10 Colt-magazine-compatible 9mm lower, a VLTOR upper, and a Magpul MOE stock and pistol grip, among other things; it was formerly fitted with a vertical grip, but this was later removed and made into an optional attachment. In-game, it can take 3 types of magazines- a 32-round Colt-pattern stick magazine, a 32-round "waffle"-pattern polymer stick magazine, or an X-Products X-15 50-round drum magazine.
=="Rosie"==
Update #103 introduced a weapon that defies most normal firearm categories; Rosie is cartridge-firing rivet gun that is categorized as a "heavy submachine gun", and was added as part of the Engineer's kit in Meat Fortress. While most rivet guns are pneumatically powered, Rosie is based off of a Remington Stud Driver Model 450, which used .32 caliber blanks to drive nails. Rosie deviates from this by being a magazine-fed, fully-automatic weapon; it also lacks a muzzle safety, since it is explicitly intended to be as unsafe as possible for anyone in front of the muzzle.
==Saab Bofors Dynamics CBJ-MS==
The Saab Bofors Dynamics CBJ-MS was added on Day 8 of the Meatmas 2022 Advent Calendar event.
==Sa vz. 61 Skorpion==
The Sa vz. 61 Skorpion is available in H3, having been added with the M.E.A.T.S. gamemode in Update #37 under the machine pistol class. The one in-game has a bit of an identity crisis; it's visually a vz. 61, complete with curved magazines, but it's referred to as a Vz. 64, and is accordingly chambered in .380 ACP. Much later, in the first alpha build of Update #107, this was corrected - it is now properly referred to as a vz. 61, and is accordingly chambered in .32.
Update #114's 3rd alpha build added the "Noisemaker", a Meat Fortress variant of the Skorpion; it fires the fictional "12x22mm MC" cartridge from an open bolt at a completely nonsensical rate, and feeds from either 10-round box magazines or 50-round drums.
==="Noisemaker"===
==SITES Spectre M4==
The 17th day of the Meatmas 2018 event added a SITES Spectre M4 submachine gun to H3's roster.
=="SMG"==
Another weapon added with the "Meat Fortress" crossover event with Team Fortress 2 is the Sniper's "SMG", a fictional weapon resembling a cross between a MAT-49 (front sight, general profile) and an M1A1 Thompson (charging handle/bolt, rear sight). Update #89 added an additional variant, known as the "Bushranger's Boon"; compared to the standard SMG, it has a different set of sights, a ventilated barrel shroud, a MAC-10-like front grip strap, a higher cyclic rate of fire, and an M1A1 Carbine-esque folding stock. The update also added a 45-round drum magazine (usable in both variants, though it comes standard with the Boon) and two additional ammo types.
==="Bushranger's Boon"===
==Sten Mk. II==
Update #49 added the Sten Mk II submachine gun, which marks the first time since the introduction of the MAC-11 that an open-bolt weapon was added to H3VR. Notably, the weapon's secondary grip zone (where the user's non-firing hand goes) is around the barrel shroud, meaning that the game only allows the proper two-handed grip with the secondary hand around the barrel shroud, the improper magazine grip disallowed. There is also another variation, the so-called "Mk. 9 Chopshop" variant, with a shortened barrel and a cut-down stock.
==="Mk. 9 Chopshop"===
==="STENOF"===
Update #95 added a fictional variant of the Sten Mk II called the "STENOF", chambered in .308 Winchester. The stock also has a built-in hydraulic recoil compensator, the usefulness of which is questionable at best. Rather strangely, it is classed as a machine gun in-game.
The name is likely a reference to its designer - "Sten" is actually an acronym of "Shepard, Turpin, Enfield" (the weapon's two designers and the factory that originally produced it); given that the STENOF's 3D model was made by one Ole Farner, it's not to difficult to figure out where the "OF" came from.
thumb|none|600px|Sure, it's part of the cursed guns update, but... wasn't the Sten cursed enough already?
thumb|none|600px|I mean, chambering it in .308 and adding pic rails was bad enough...
thumb|none|600px|Speaking of which, taking a 32 round Sten mag and making it fit .308 cartridges makes it so huge that, if weight were a thing in VR, you'd never be able to hold the gun straight.
thumb|none|600px|Or, if you're feeling especially deranged, there's also a 50 round snaildrum. And it's basically just a straight mag that's curved in on itself.
thumb|none|600px|Like the original Sten, the STENOF uses a notch to hold the bolt instead of any traditional safety switch.
thumb|none|600px|Taking the bolt off the safety notch, and we're ready to go.
thumb|none|600px|Another feature kept from the original Sten, is the 'Rapid Fire' button - simply pull it out, and you can fire in full auto.
thumb|none|600px|The iron sights haven't been calibrated for the STENOF's increase in size, so aiming with the enormous aperture is a bit of a challenge. Not that it matters anyway...
thumb|none|600px|...because the recoil on the STENOF is stupendously strong. So strong, in fact, that the clipping lets you see the recoil spring, suggesting that the gun actually hits you in the face. Hence the upper rail; mounting an optic may prevent you from getting a good cheek weld, but at least it'll save you from getting a cheek fracture.
thumb|none|600px|Not an unreasonable assumption, either. If we examine the STENOF's stock, its quite different from the standard Sten.
thumb|none|600px|Primarily because upon firing, it will oscillate rapidly. While this would likely help with the felt recoil, its pain-mitigating effects aren't as easy to appreciate when there's a receiver-shaped bruise on your cheekbone.
thumb|none|600px|Perhaps the most surprising thing to learn is despite the larger cartridge, the STENOF isn't that much bigger than the Sten Mk II.
==Sten Mk. V==
Along with the Mk. II, Update #49 added the Sten Mk V, a later, more refined version of the Sten.
thumb|none|450px|Sten Mk. V - 9x19mm Parabellum
===Sten Mk. VI===
The integrally suppressed variant of the Mk. V, the Sten Mk VI, is available as well.
==Steyr MP34==
The final SMG added to the game by Update #50 is the Steyr MP34.
==Suomi KP/-31==
Added on the 12th day of the 2018 Meatmas update, the Suomi KP/-31 holds the distinction of being H3's first Finnish submachine gun.
=="Tomacuzi"==
Update #95 added the "Tomacuzi," a highly eccentric fictional firearm that is, as the name implies, a hybrid of an M1A1 Thompson and an IMI Uzi, fitted with a barrel shroud reminiscent of (though substantially longer than) the Intratec TEC-9. To top it all off, it's also chambered in .455 Webley, and its fire modes consist exclusively of bursts of varying length.
thumb|none|600px|It's like someone beat a Thompson with an ugly stick. Note the Picatinny rail on the top of the receiver. It also features a BAR-style left-side charging handle for whatever reason; equally strangely, it fires from a closed bolt, which neither the Thompson nor the Uzi do.
thumb|none|600px|On the opposite side of the gun, we see the original Auto Ordnance markings of a standard Thompson. Apparently in the future of the H3 universe, they actually signed off on this creation.
thumb|none|600px|The stock unfolds just like on a standard Uzi. Best not to aim with the stock folded, as this thing still kicks like a mule.
thumb|none|600px|Now loading... a 69 round... snaildrum... of .455 Webley. Any singly part of that sentence would make a person gag, and yet we have the trifecta.
thumb|none|600px|The safety switch and fire selector switches themselves are the same as on the Thompson. However, instead of semi and auto, we have four-round burst, and seventeen-round-burst. Also note that, according to the markings, the official designation of this weapon is "TOMACUXI-9 Mk. 2.1"; the markings on this side also state its caliber to be .357 SIG (stamped over a 9mm marking), a round which none of the game's weapons use, along with the serial number "[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/867-5309/Jenny 8675309]".
thumb|none|600px|The lower aperture is effectively useless, since the pic rail completely blocks the front post from this angle.
thumb|none|600px|Thankfully, the upper notch sight is still useable.
thumb|none|600px|Even with relatively unimpressive Webley rounds, recoil is still considerable. In no small part because of the exclusively automatic firing modes.
thumb|none|600px|Yet another quirk of this gun is that as soon as the mag is empty, it automatically ejects itself; thanks to its two firemodes, the user gets either 17 or 4 full bursts (in 4- or 17-round burst mode respectively), followed by a single anticlimactic shot and the sound of a magazine hitting the floor.
==Type 100==
The first Japanese firearm in the game, a late-model Type 100 submachine gun was added to H3VR on December 25th, 2018, the final day of the Meatmas 2018 event.
==Vigneron M2==
The Vigneron M2 was added on day 6 of the Meatmas 2022 advent calendar event; it is simply called the "Vigneron" in-game. Notably, H3 is the first video game to feature the Vigneron.
==Viper Mk. I==
The Viper Mk. I, a rare experimental variant of the Sten meant to be used one-handed as a personal defense weapon, was added on day 9 of the Meatmas 2020 Advent Calendar event. Only two Mk. Is were ever built, as well as three Mk. IIIs; as such media depictions of this gun are extremely rare, with H3 being its first known appearance.
thumb|none|450px|Viper Mk. I - 9x19mm Parabellum
==Walther MPK==
The Walther MPK was added on day 11 of the Meatmas 2020 Advent Calendar event.
Category:Subpages of Hot Dogs, Horseshoes & Hand Grenades