nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
There Was Someone in My House

I was out celebrating god knows what, partying and drinking all night. Life was good. I was even feeling rather proud of myself for stopping a brawl happening at the last pub I was at. I felt like "the good guy".
Cue 5 30 in the morning, and I am having my last Jagerbomb and prepare to trudge the three blocks to my lovely house and my two beautiful gods and cat.
Swaying side to side, walking confidently but with a swagger while whistling a tuneless but rather heath song, I approach my home and fumble in my pockets for the key. I can't find it. I must have lost it, perhaps left it at the last place I was at.
Not being perturbed in the least, I knew confidently that the door at the back of the house directly behind the tool shed was closed but unlatched. I do love my tool shed. Don't all the good guys? I snickered at the notion and proceeded to work the window open.
I climbed in, heading to the kitchen, making an ungodly amount of noise in the process and getting myself the milk container from the fridge. I drank directly from it. Who was going to stop me? I was the king of the castle. A single bachelor with my own pad that anyone would be envious of.
Then I heard a scream behind me. Startled, I swivel around to see a woman in a nightshirt. She is beside herself. In my drunken stupor I can't quit understand what she is on about.
Then it hits me. The adrenaline made me more sober than a nun at communion. It was my wife. My EX-wife. She was telling me to get out or she would call the cops.
She had divorced me 3 weeks ago and got everything. The house, the dogs, the cat, and the savings we had.
All because I cheated on her. I had been in a drunken stupor for the past 3 weeks trying to forget the fact that I was not only living out of my car, which had now been impounded anyway, but that I was a cheating scum. I was not "the good guy" as I had thought just a minute ago. My life was a ruin. I heard the sirens approach and took another swig on the milk container.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
There Was Something in my Photo

I was going through my recent photos recently. There was Something in one of the photo previews that did not sit right with me. Not right with me at all, my little buddy.
When I clicked on the photo preview to open up the photograph file to full size, I saw It. IT... for that is what we will call IT from now on. IT was there. In full view of everyone.
It has been 48 years now, since I saw IT. The memory RAMs have depleted their energy since then. But now IT has come back into my memory.
This morning, I have been sure that IT will be my course for the day. At least until Knock off time and the weekend.
The weekend has landed. All that exists now is clubs, drugs, pubs and parties. I've got 48 hours off from the world, man. I'm gonna blow steam out my head like a screaming kettle, I'm gonna talk cod shit to strangers all night, I'm gonna lose the plot on the dancefloor. The free radicals inside me are freakin', man! Tonight I'm Jip Travolta, I'm Peter Popper, I'm going to never-never land with my chosen family, man. We're gonna get more spaced out than Neil Armstrong ever did, anything could happen tonight, you know? This could be the best night of my life. I've got 73 quid in my back burner - I'm gonna wax the lot, man! The Milky Bars are on me! Yeah!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
There Will Definitely be Blood Maybe

You stand next to your kid on the sidewalk near the movie theater. You had agreed to take him there for his birthday, as he had always wanted to see Happy Feet.
But you read the sign, and it says "THERE WILL DEFINITELY BE BLOOD MAYBE". You ask yourself "Can I really show this to my eight year old son?" You were unsure about the movie. There was no rating, and the confusing title made you wonder if it was a horror movie or just a family friendly comedy.
"Daddy, let's go see that one!" Your son says, pointing to the sign. You can't disappoint your son, at least not again. The theater's name, "Y CINEMA" swirls around in your head as you resist the urge to scream. You are filled with terror. Your son begins to cry, feeling that you had disappointed him once again. You begin to sweat nervously, terrified of what's to come. "Is there blood," you think, "And if there is, is it definitely there? Or only maybe?"
Your son begins to walk back to the car. He is crying for the Y Cinema. He no longer cares about Happy Feet, he just wants a better parent. But you remain determined to give him the entertainment not that he deserves, but he needs. You grab his hand and begin to walk into the movie theater, when you realize the advertisement art for the only movie they are showing.
It displays a typical horror movie setting. The killer wields a butcher's knife, while the victim screams in terror, much like you feel like doing due to your child's deprivation of happiness. However, there was no blood. Only the words "definitely" and "maybe", which were flashing violently inside of your head. You can't handle it anymore. You fall to your knees and begin to scream. Your child is in the corner of the theater in a ball, weeping softly to himself.
He is dying of boredom.
Dying.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
There are no voices inside my head

Daniel, Molly, and Billy are my friends...
I live alone, I've lived alone for many years. Most of my family has passed away, and when they was alive I was the black sheep in my family. I was the outsider in school, always being tormented about my fuzzy hair, my yellow teeth, my "poor" clothes. I got use to it. I've gotten use to people being horrible to me. Just like I've gotten use to being alone.
The rain on my roof keeps me sane, I relate to the rain with how it grows slowly and steady and becomes heavier, how it pours and sounds angry, the way the sounds knock on my roof and home don't scare me anymore. I use to be so scared of the rain and thunder. But I now relate because like the rain I use to be sad and pour and pour tears, and like thunder I use to howl of anger and want to knock on people's roofs and keep them awake, like they made me.
I relate to the sun with how bright and hot it feels, at times I've been happy in my life, that at times I wanted to be bright and smother other's with my heat of happiness like the sun.
And the moon is a peaceful reminder, that a new day awaits me, and I don't feel so lonely anymore because I found comfort in the weather. Even when a tornado and hurricane hit my side of the world, I don't feel sadness anymore because, like tornado and hurricanes I too have wanted to be one and destroy things. I relate to nature in many ways.
My cat Lonnie, understands me better than most and curls up to me at night after a long day at the restaurant, and having people curse and throw their food at me. Lonnie is a reminder that animals are sometimes better than us humans.
But I also have some human friends, their names are Daniel, Molly, and Billy, they bring me comfort, they come over often... we have tea and sometimes eat shitty frozen pizza and gossip.
Daniel likes green tea and often tells me how pretty I am and gives me hugs.. he's a nice guy. I'd love to be with him but I think he kind of likes someone else more.
Molly is the prettiest and nicest girl I've met, she and I do each other's makeup, we chit chat about guys her favorite food is cookies and we often make them together.
And then there's Billy he's the group's comedian, he's always making me laugh after a long work at the restaurant. He's a cutie and loves pizza.
We normally hang out after I get home from work, their waiting usually at my house. They comfort me and tell me to keep hanging on, even when I've become so depressed. Besides Lonnie their my best friends.. but I don't tell anyone about them because I'm afraid other people would take them away from me, and be their best friends...
I don't wanna lose my best friends.
"Mrs. Love I'm afraid you have schizophrenia, I'm gonna refer you to a specialist." The doctor spoke.
"But doc, please don't take away my friends , I swear there is no voices in my head.. they're the only people I've ever loved, you're the crazy one.
I'm afraid to live without my "friends" doctor...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
There is a secret Russian lab under my local mall

I live in a small town in rural Maine. There is a new mall in town. I work in the Piggly Wiggly.
Behind the Piggly Wiggly there is a hallway for deliveries. Behind the KFC I discovered an elevator down to a secret Russian Lab.
Inside the lab I saw piles of dry substances like sand but different colors. I was discovered. I had to leave before I investigated what happened.
The only clue I have is a communication from the Russians but I can't decode it. Can you please help?
The transmission was: Я знаю одиннадцать секретных трав и специй
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:I CAN HAZ TRANSLATION?
Category:Memes
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
There is no need to be upset

Their jimmies are eternal; none can rustle their triumvirate...
Somewhere, betwixt the space time continuum itself, lies a vast, desolate galaxy. This galaxy is known as the Triumvirate. To enter this realm, one MUST use a lawnmower to fly into space. Use it with extreme caution and make sure you have enough air.
After millions of light years of traveling, you will come across what looks like a crystal ball. It is shrouded in blinding light and is made up of dark matter. Three beasts guard the doorway to the next dimension.
However, many have tried this Triumvirate, and all have failed. For their jimmies are eternal... none can be rustled by mortals...
Category:Memes
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Rituwel
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Old Shit
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta
There was doo doo everywhere

I went in for a job interview for Jiggle My Balls Enterprises. It's a company that makes balls for clowns to juggle. Anyway, I walked in and the CEO boss guy was there. His name was Mr. Jiggly.
"Welcome to Jiggle My Balls Enterprises. Why would you like to work here?" said Mr. Jiggly.
"Because I need money, bitch," I said.
"The last guy who called me a bitch got teabagged to another dimension," said Mr. Jiggly.
Then next thing I knew, Beyonce and Donald Trump walked in to my interview. Beyonce farted so hard it blew off Donald Trump's toupee. Donald Trump fainted from the fart smell and they had to take him to the doctor.
"Wow, that's some ass-blastic gas!" said Mr. Jiggly.
But here is where the scary and spooky start begins: The job position never existed. In fact, there was never a company called Jiggle My Balls Enterprises. Beyonce, Mr. Jiggly, and Donald Trump were part of a kidnapping ring to capture people and force them to listen to their horrendous podcast called: "There was doo doo everywhere." It's a podcast about their severe bowel obstruction and how they avoid pooping on themselves in public. Their podcast gets no listeners so that's why they were making fake interviews to kidnap people into listening to it.
I almost got kidnapped!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
Theres Nothing Wrong in Minecraft

one night I was playing everyone's favourite game; "minecraft!" With my friend and it was pretty spooky cause I loaded up the werld me and my friend had but we where kinda freaked out cause the save was called "bloody hell!" and then we spawned in the nether even though we didn't have dimond picks, it really made me confused but I just thought it was a bug so we ignored it and explored the nether.
We walked for ages with no way of possibly finding enything but after 30 minuets, we found something, A NETHER FORTRESS, it was wierd because it didn't just use the normal blocks, it also had blood all over it. After we found the big bloody fortress, we explored it all over until we found a chest with blood on it, and it had a bleeding book in there titaled "read me", so I told my friend and he told me too read it, I clicked the button to open it, and when it opened up I nearly creid.
Faceing me. Was HEROBRINE the scaryiest most dreadful person to have ever been in minecraft, I then read the text inside the book, and it sayed. "YOU WILL DIE IN A 2 DAYS". I got really scared at that also the pages were covered in blood. There was another page on it so I turned the book and I screamed because it was notches face but with black eyes and red blood dripping from his eyes, it said at the bottom in red blood text," HEROBRINE.EXE IS COMING FOR YOU!!!!!". It looked like the text was changed by zalgo.
My friend wondered why I was so scared and I told him why I was scared. He told me "OH NO! WERE DOOMED!". I asked why and what would happen to us and he replied with "IT'S TO LATE WE ARE GOING TO DIE!" I then heard a loud bang over his mic and he disconnected from the game.
i went off after that cause it realy scared me i was hoping he was okay but i couldn't be sure, i called him and he picked up. i herd loud muffled screaming "HELP ME!" the voice said "HEROBRINE HAS ME!" i then hung up. i was really freaked out and i got a text from him hoping he would say he was just joking but the text realy said. "HE IS MINE NOW!!!!!!!!!", i threw my phone on the ground and screamed. scince my perants where on holiday they couldnt help me... i was alone.
its been too days and nothing has happened exept what has happened to my freind, it couldn't have been herobrine?... right? oh my god i just looked out of the window and i saw my freind he... he is covered in blood and his cloths are riped... hes... nocking on my door right now. oh god please help me...
his eyes are glowing white...
HE JUST BROKE DOWN THE DOOR AND HES COMMING UP THE STAIRS OH GOD, I HAVE TO GET THIS OUT BEFORE HE GETS TO ME.
OK LISEN TO ME READER. DON'T TRUST MINECRAFT! ITS A EVIL GAME AND IF YOU DO WHAT IVE DONE YOULL BE NEXT PLEASE... PLEASE... NEVER PLAY MINECR-AIEHGBIUQERUIQFGEBIUQDGIUDGDQPIF[QEBIIJHyhrufyrj549WH9H5NHEWIGB
dont worry about what was just wrote, its fine. minecraft is a safe and fun game for all ages and remeber theres no such thing as "herobrine". in short i hope to see you all very soon playing minecraft.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Minecrap
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
They're Always After Me Lucky Charms

They look like children, they do. But they're not. They're not natural children at all, heavens no. They're wanting me lucky charms. The runnin' and the chasin', it never stops. The whole live-long day, me guard is up. If they get their filthy mitts on even one of me charms, the carnage they'd unleash would make the very devil weep. Shooting stars with the power to make a man fly. Blue moons to make him invisible to the eye. Green clovers that bring the devil's own luck. Horshoes to speed or slow time. Sure 'tis that no natural child was meant to have such power, let alone the motherless whelps snapping at me heals day after day. Speak o' the devil, I do believe it's their infernal laughter i hear just t'other side of yonder trees. I'll lead them a merry chase this time, to be sure!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
They've Waited for You

100 or so years ago, a village sitting on an island was thriving. They had plenty of food, a great ruler, and never had to go to war. One day there was a horrible storm in the area, and after all the destruction of other islands... this town survived.
They thought they were blessed by the gods, so they started to ignore their responsibilities. Then, the island mysteriously disappeared. No one knew what had happened, and why the island was gone. Some say they angered the gods, and thus were struck down.
We may never know what happened, but rumor is if you go diving in a place now known as the bermuda triangle..... you will see faces on the wall. You will then dissapear, adding one more face to that forsaken wall...
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Beings
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
They Call Me Insane

They all call me insane and evil.
I'm not insane all I do is cut open peoples stomaches with my knives, or bludgeon them to death with a hammer.
Why does that make me insane? All I'm doing is playing a game, it's very fun but the people I play with always seem to stop playing so soon.
Whenever people see me they run in fear, all I want to do is play why run?
Today some people in uniforms caught and took me away, they said I was killer and had to be locked up.
I replied, "I've done nothing wrong, I'm only playing."
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
They Came From Behind

I had served in the police, primarily to help bring down the violent crime that was tearing the fabric of our neighborhood apart. I know you'll probably think what I wanted to do was irresponsible, but in a place like ours you have to take precautions.
You know the part in Terminator 2 where Schwarzenegger shoots backwards at the T-1000? I wanted to emulate that for the hell of it, but also because sometimes you need skills like that. It's just better to be prepared sometimes.
I constantly practiced with a mirror until I could hit the targets that were behind me. After that I also installed a mirror in my house in front of my couch so if I sat there I would be able to see a criminal coming from behind.
It's 10:00 PM and I'm ready for anything.
Slippery bastard, sneaking through my back window. He thinks he's clever. My gun will prove him wrong.
Three shots. That should have taken care of the bugger.
He's still coming! Better duck and rearm.
Wait, where's my reflection in the mirror? Oh shi-
Police Report filed:
At the time of the break in, officers had been alerted by the sound of gunfire. Within several minutes two cars had arrived at the crime scene. What we found was that the apparent owner of the home appeared to have been shot in his chair, holding a pistol. He appears to have been a former or current officer and his funeral will be held as soon as possible.
UPDATE:
A few days later after questioning we had found a video of the incident from one of the neigbors' cameras. We do not know how they acquired it, but it does offer an explanation for what happened, at least.
Police Commisonner Ips Calb
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
They Can Hear You

Be quiet.
It's them.
They can hear you.
They will find you.
So keep quiet.
Do not make a peep.
They can hear you.
So try not to scream.
Try not to yell.
Just keep quiet, they are lurking within you.
They will kill you.
So be quiet.
Just be quiet....
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
Category:Shortpasta
They Follow

It is said then when someone dies, their souls are either in a better, worse, or trapped in a place. Some souls are reincarnated, sometimes lucky or unfortunately having remembered their past life. Yet, there are certain souls that never existed in this world. It's believed in some cultures, people would call them unborn spirits, some would say they weren't able to find a body or animate themselves a life, but yet there are many names as there are different spirits.
Yet, what about the ones with no name? The ones that aren't acknowledged? Some say they're lost or forever forgotten, but I believe that's not the case. I believe that these spirits latch onto you, not to harm you at all, but simply for attention. It doesn't matter if the lost spirit is good or bad, they will latch onto you and follow you no matter what. 
You'll know it is them, through signs you push away, such as seeing something in the corner of your eye or thinking the mind is playing tricks on you, when you hear a random noise when you're alone, they are there. Sometimes I believe they can determine your luck in life or even karma, but I cannot prove that or make you believe any of this. Just know, they only want attention, they are lost and only ever wanted to be part of life. Yet, there is a reason we can't interact with them.
It is believed that once you die and are being decided if you shall be trapped on earth, sent to heaven or hell, these lost spirits can finally interact with you, but you cannot listen or follow them. Once again, it doesn't matter if they are good or bad, if you follow them, then you too shall become a lost spirit, you will be forgotten by everyone, even by those who knew you lifetime. No one wants to be forgotten or lost as them, so it is best to ignore them, no matter how bad or sad it is, do not follow them back under any circumstances. They will do what they can to grab your attention and make you follow them.
These lost spirits have to find their own way back, some are lucky and some aren't. Yet, just know no matter what, if you are loved, hated, have people around you, or even alone on the most nocturnal nights, they follow.
They Follow You Until You Die.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck