ErrorFull

ErrorFull is a self-modifying joke esoteric programming language made to be the opposite of ErrorFree, a language in which every possible program is valid. In ErrorFull, every program runs an error, as the name suggests. Thus, it is completely unusable for programming, but the creator, Quito0567, thought it would be interesting to try to come up with the specifics for such a language. It was created in around an hour on August 23/24, 2023.
== Errors ==
ErrorFull writes like Python, though adaptions for other languages (like ErrorFullC++) could obviously be developed. The nature of this language reminded the creator of the absurd requirements for designing a password in the famous Password Game, which he actually managed to beat. Note: These errors are on top of the ones already built into Python and they are checked for in the order they are in in the table below. And if you were wondering, yes, it is intentional that many of the error messages would result in the error they are attacking lmao.
If... 	Error Message
you use print() 	Are you crazy!? Only psychopaths use print().
a string is longer than 15 characters 	The string (string) is too long. You might scare someone with Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, or the fear of long words(such as Methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylglycylalanylphe
nylalanylvalylprolyphenylalanylvalythreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylasparty
lthreonylleucylIsoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylasparthlalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprol
ylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminylaspfraginylalanylthreonylleucylarfinylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanylglycy
lvalythreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleuoylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysyhistidylproly
lthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucylglycylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalylphenylalanylasparaginyllysyglycylisoleucylasp
artylglutamylphenylalanylthrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalnylaspartylvalylp
rolylvalylglUtaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanylarginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyvalylalanylprolyl
isoleucylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleu
cylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreo
nylglycylalanylglutamylasparainylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolylleucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylglutamyltyro
sylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucylglutaminylglgycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysyla
lanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanylglycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanylisoleucylvalyllysylisoIeucylisoleucylgl
utamylglutaminylHistidylasparaginyliSoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylcalylglu
taminylprolylmethionlysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine(linewrap added)), so please shorten it.
you use the minus operator 	Usage of "-" is illegal, as it has been known to cause a negative impact. Please be positive and add things together.
you use a digit besides 0 or 1 	The number (number) is non-binary. You may only use 0s and 1s as these are the only numbers the computer can understand. *converts all non-binary numbers into binary*
you declare an unsorted list 	The list (list) is a mess. Please sort it immediately. *Bubble sort the list*
you include a comment 	The comment (comment) is unnecessary. You must not explain your code, as that is a sign of weakness. Please let your code speak for itself. *deletes all comments*
you use a loop 	The loop (loop) is forbidden. Repeating yourself is a sign of insanity. Repeating yourself is a sign of insanity. Please write unique code for each iteration. *deletes all loops*
you use a conditional statement 	The conditional statement (statements) is a gamble. If you use a conditional, unexpected outcomes will be created that are hard to deal with. Please only use one outcome and do not be so risky. *deletes all conditional statements*
you use a function 	The function (function) is a cheat. Using functions to save time is an indicator of laziness *deletes all functions.* Please rewrite the code and don't be lazy.
you use an indentation other than 4 spaces 	ㅤㅤㅤThe indentation (indentation) is wrong. You must use exactly 4 spaces for each indentation level, otherwise you might make your code more readable and elegant. Stop being creative and follow the standard. *removes all indentations so you have to redo everything*
your program does not contain the word please 	This program is too rude. You must include the word 'please' somewhere in your program to be more polite.
your program contains the word please for more than 4 times	This program is too formal. Please try removing some of the "please" keywords. (Must ensure that there are π "please" keywords)
your program exists 	This program is of paradoxical nature. Creating an error-less program sabotages the mission of ErrorFull. As such, it is imperative that I delete your program. *deletes program*
== examples ==
===Hello, World!===
import sys
"please please"
"please pl"
sys.stderr.write("Hello, World!")
"This "is" an error ^"or" :O"
raise Exception
===FizzBuzz===
import sys
three = 1+1+1
five = three+1+1
one_iteration = lambda x: ("Fizz" * (x%three < 1)) + ("Buzz" * (x%five < 1)) or x
many_iter = lambda x: {0: sys.stderr.writelines(one_iteration), 1: (x == 101) or (many_iter(x + 1))
many_iter(1)
"please"
"reApEtInG yU"or"sElf iS a siGn "or"F iNsAniTy!11!!" or 111111111111111111111111111111111111111
raise IndexError("pop from empty list")
== See also ==
* ErrorFullC++, an adaptation of ErrorFull for C++.
* Error, a much simpler version of ErrorFull.
* ErrorFuck, an adaptation of ErrorFull for BF.
* Violation, yet another language inspired by ErrorFull.
Category:Languages
Category:Joke languages
Category:Unusable for programming
Category:Unimplemented
Category:High-level
Category:Self-modifying
Category:Flat-nested
Category:2023