nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Numberjacks

Numberjacks is a British animated children's television series, which, like many other such series, aimed to teach pre-schoolers how to navigate the adult world around them, and taught them the value of team-work, friendship, and (uniquely) the virtue of relentless advance in the teeth of overwhelming enemy fire.
===Episode One===
In the opening episode of the series, the Numberjacks takes raw recruits through basic training, hardening them for greater tests to come. His men struggle with the tough regime and we see the Numberjacks beasting them through 20 km night-marches in the rain, berating them for falling to their deaths from the high-wire section of the assault course, and humiliating them for their inability to make their beds in the correct military fashion due to three-fingered hands with stubby digits that lack knuckles.
“There’s no crying at Boot Camp!” he screams when 0 complains that he will need his walking-frame to complete the 3000 foot ascent of 1, slapping him. “Suck it up, camper!”
He presses his face to within a few inches of 2’s to shout: 
“Your workout is my warm-up, soldier. These press-ups don’t like you either. Be sore, not sorry. Shut up & squat!”
In a courageous ending for a show aimed at the three to five age group, the episode closes with 3’s coffin being lowered into the earth following execution for desertion. A mournful, instrumental version of the familiar theme tune is played behind 4’s monologue:
“If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man,” he says. “All men are frightened. The more educated they are, the more they are frightened. And that is why I have chosen you 5 to lead the rest of Greendale Primary School into battle. May God have mercy on your souls because I shall have none if I see your faces back here before every 6 in Greendale is on their way to Hades.”
===Episode Two===
4 is contemptuous of the sofa advice on entry to the war, believing that:
Nun accelerator

After years and years and years of experiments with Del Monte Pineapple Chunks, British scientists, in co-operation with www.CrashTestNuns.edu, a gringo and the Ghost of Christmas Past, have just finished the worlds first semi-operational, not un-fully functional, slightly moist Nun Accelerator, which will allow Nuns to travel at speeds in excess of, but not more than, Harrison Ford miles an hour; which is, in dog years, precisely the speed of light.
==The Big Breakthrough==
The Big Breakthrough was made next Thursday morning at around lunch time July 20th of August after a fresh shipment of crash-test nuns was delivered. After an enjoyable evening of farts, beef cider, and several huge smelly bridges, the tests began in earnest.
The renowned peach-scented scientist, Dr. Alfred D'Minge, published the following statement outlying, in little-or-no detail, the process involved in propelling nuns to such awesome bible-bashing speeds:
==The Good News==
If the tests continue to work successfully, the technology could be applied to choirboys, vicars and maybe even some day the The Pope. It has been speculated that Vatican X - the Vatican’s high-tech military unit - has shown moist amounts of interest in the possibility of applying the Nun Accelerator technology in their upcoming "Pope Gun", according to Vatican spokesperson God Smith. This "Pope Gun" would be capable of sending future popes into space for next to nothing, enabling him/her/it to spread the 'word' to distant galaxies. 
 ~ Billy Mint Wobbler, Choirboy at Saint John the Rapist. 
 ~ Sister Mary Vampire.
==The Bad News==
Sadly, with all this exciting news comes stubborn opposition in the form of a small but determined band of ultra-feminist drag queens, who label themselves "The Poodles of the Apocalypse." 
Their imperious leader, Darth Poodle, is said to be threatening to switch on his unholy Microwave of Doom (at full power) with nothing inside!
A small band of United Nations representatives have 'diplomatically' urged Darth to not to go ahead with his plans, and are said to be organizing a peace-keeping mission, called "Super Power Feminine Itching Bitchy Force Go." The team will be comprised of Mr T (fool), Ricky Gervais (not funny), Benny Hill's ghost (Conservative) and Super Gran (dead).
Stay tuned for more information on this fascinating pile of crap at the same bat time, same bat channel. I'll be keeping you 'up-to-date' as the proposed development plans are made public. 
Thank you. I have beem Jim D'Quim of The Poo Scientist Monthly.
Edited back to its original form by the creator: 15/07/2009. Whoever changed it missed the point completely. It's not supposed to make sense...
Category: Science
Category: Religion
Category: Inventions
Nun bashing

'Note: This is not an informative article. It is a true story that REALLY happened to me.'
== The Back Story ==
At our after school care program, many young students were forcibly forced into the somewhat questionable care of the resident sister.
I was one of those students.
The only relief we had from the nefarious nun was a Playstation gaming console. We would become immersed in the gaming programs and forget about our worldly troubles.
But the sinister sister found ways to get to us even in our world of wonder.
The cruel bride of christ had ultimate power in her realm. She.....*sob*.....had the power to ban us from the gaming console.
==The Crime==
I was one of those banned.
The story of the demise of my freedom is one of great sorrow and melancholy.
I was wrongfully accused and dishonourably dealt with.
I was waiting my turn to play the playstation as was common in those times. All of sudden, a great ruckus broke out among the players and much chaos ensued.
In the aftermath, many students were physically, mentally and emotionally scarred. The instigator caught by the malicious nun was, wrongfully, myself.
==The Plot==
I had no intentions of remaining under the evil sister's malevolent regime.
I refused to stay under an overly cruel punishment for a crime I did not even commit.
I began to plot a magnificent plan.
My plan was of such a righteous nature that no other students could understand my need for revenge.
I was on my own.
I began to revise some concepts about who was whose boss. My cunning plot consisted of myself, the nun and a sturdy chair. My plan was so brilliantly simple there was no chance for it to fail. It was time to put my plan into action.
==The Righting of Wrongs==
I knew that if I was to do this it must be on my own. No one could help me. This was something I needed to do for myself. And there is no time like the present.
At approximately 16:47 hours I put my plan into action. 
I walked innocently up to the savage salesian, chair unnoticed at my side. She mockingly mocked me by falsly feigning compassion and so filled with righteous rage was I, that I threw my chair, the Tool of Justice, at the cruel christian and struck her limb, breaking her arm. I was filled with triumph and satisfaction, knowing that the evil regime was finally at it's end.
But that was not the case.
==The Aftermath==
I was consequently expelled from the after school program. I did not understand. I had righted a massive wrong, albeit not completely. And thus I am punished!?!?
For some reason unbeknownst to me, all other parties involved took the side of the deceitful sister. I suffered years of psychological scrutiny, although I retained my integrity. I remained convinced that something had to be done to fix our society. But that is another story.
==See also==
*Evil Atheist Conspiracy
Category:Nuns
Nunchaku

Nunchaku are what you would call 'numchucks' if you knew what the hell you were talking about. 'Numchucks' are for numbnuts.
The art of nunchaku is also known as 'the sweet skill'. 
Now the Uncyclopedia has ensmartened you, Grasshopper. Clear your mind of conscious thought, and allow true knowledge to enter your soul, like a q-tip into your urethra. Follow me into the enlightenment below.
== Uses of Nunchaku ==
Nunchaku are magical sticks of DOOM! There are rare cases when the common citizen will use a nunchaku. In these cases the common citizen will almost certainly kill himself, and amuse everyone around him.
Nunchaku are primarily used in battle against pirates. In a pinch they may also be used against Martians, Republicans, and common citizens. However, there are better weapons to use against Republicans, no known weapon affects Martians, and, of course common citizens may be easily torn apart with your bare hands.
One infamous nunchaku user is the great Ducky, who existed exactly 499 years before the birth of christ. Ducky was well known for killing anyone who oposed his reigme. It is also said that Ducky was the founder of time-travelling but conclusive evidence has never been found.
Nunchaku "forms" are not as ridgid as other weapons based forms (e.g: move "a" leads, allways has led, and will forever more lead, to move "b") 
Instead Nunchaku users rely on a general assumption of the loctation of the flailing end of the Nunchuck. This is done, not with the intent of attacking ones opponent, but in an attempt not to hit one's own ass or head with a spinning bit of wood or penis (see: History of Nunchaku).
Once a Nunchaku user gets going, it's extremely difficult to stop the spinning part without injury, therefore most "attacks" involve attempting to rein in the angular momentum while simulatniously occupying your opponen's personal space.
== History of Nunchaku ==
Nunchaku were invented in Germany. The first, primitive nunchaku were made with sausage. This was helpful for the native German ninjas, because they could eat a link or two and gain quick energy for the battle ahead.
Before the ninja used nunchaku, the Aztecs used them. Their nunchakus were actually made of their own humongous cocks, braided together and folded in the center.
Nunchaku are high in salt and fiber. They are traditionally served at Lent and during the Feast of Dance Dance Revolution.
Laser Nunchaku, nunchaku that shoot lasers when they are swung, don't exist, but if the did, that would be SWEET...! 
Category: Martial arts
Category: Food
Nutria

The semi-aquatic mammal Myocastor coypus, commonly called nutria or coypu, is native to the jungles and plains of Brazil, Paraguay, Urinary, Venezuela, McMurdo, and Durian. It eats leftovers, castoffs, foulness, and diseases.
Coypu are rodents and descended from Miocene vermin and pests. They belong to the rodent subfamily commonly called "Dim-witted Big Ugly Rats".
==A Brief History of Nutria Farming==
In the 1920s rumors spread claiming that nutria fur would be the next big fad, just as soon as the prohibition craze wound up. Unfortunately, it turned out that the coarse, oily, odiferous fur of the nutria thrilled fashionistas about as much as cutting off their kneecaps with pinking shears. In fact, except for the makers of Red Bull energy drink (who use a select few female coypu to produce ayahuesca), no one uses nutria for anything much.
==Nutria Language==
Nutria speak in a low, monotone voice, though when singing, their phrasing is quite excellent. Many nutria can be heard singing on doo-wop records. This is almost contradictory to the nutria call in the wild, where nutria will shout out a high-pitched "pee diddle pee diddle pee diddle" to other nutria in the area. Nutria hunters will try to emulate this sound as to attract them to the "kill zone."
==Is There A Solution?==
We are not sure. Several have been proposed.
:1. Eat them. Yeah, right. You want us to eat a giant rat that feeds on contaminated filth and lives in cesspits? Yeah, right!
:2. Introduce populations of their natural predators: savage piranhas and crazed jaguars and huge pythons and drugged-up Xingú indians with poison arrows and machetes. This course of action would have the side benefit of making places like London safer for tourists.
:3. Abandon Earth to the coypu hordes and move to Mars. Unfortunately, it appears coypu are already on Mars.
==French Nutria==
The French Nutria, or La Belle Cusine Des Rats, are notable for saying "Eh? Ah oui, mais non, alors, eh bien?" before stealing your food and women. They are slightly shorter than the normal Nutria, with little moustaches and a penchant for Parkour.
Of course being in France they are eaten the whole time, and the French declare them lovely, before vomitting out buckets of the things.
category:Cute and cuddlycategory:Biology
Category:Mammals
Nwankwo Kanu

thumb|200px|Kanu, surprised to see he has somehow scored another goal.
Nwankwo Christian Nwosu Kanu, OON (born 1 August 1976 in Owerri, Nigeria), or simply Kanu, is a Nigerian professional footballer, former head of state and the world's only registered Nigerian wizard. He is allergic to snow.
He is noted for being Nigeria's most successful player and his tendency to score goals completely by accident. As well as being a striker for his national team, Kanu now plays for semi-professional UK club and pyramid scheme headquarters Portsmouth F.C. He has won African Player of the Year twice, and scored almost as many times in the past two years.
Kanu is an important find to sport and science in general. He is seen as something of a sporting paradox in that although he lacks any kind of grace or skill with the ball, he somehow manages to scrape by with sheer luck.
== Early Life == 
Young Nwankwo had never seen a football until the age of 7 when during a stupor he wandered onto a football field, only for a loose ball to hit his tailbone and loop into the goal.
As a youngster Kanu soon learnt that the typical characteristics of footballers such as speed, skill and basic motor skills did not apply to him, and if he just stood ten yards from goal the ball tended to bounce in off him.
== Playing style ==
Kanu incorporates aspects of voodoo into his playing style, and can often be seen sticking pins into goalkeeper dolls while loitering on the edge of the penalty area. It is rare for kanu to score a goal with his foot. In one experiment Kanu was placed into a padded cell with an adjacent goal, then had a soccer-cannon fire footballs at him. No unusual results turned up, however the scientists in charge of the experiment theorized that the anomaly was down to the fact that Kanu thought football and soccer were two different sports. 
Recently Kanu's strike rate has deteriorated, and he is currently of the belief that he is cursed.
== Ascent to Power ==
thumb|right|Kanu in traditional royal court dress
Kanu became king and president of Nigeria in November 1995 after heart surgery left him temporarily evil. As Kanu had just scored with his kneecap in a recent international match he was considered to be the most viable candidate to step into the vacant presidential position, and although Nigeria had never had a king before...he had often professed his love of crowns. Social commentator Winnie Tutu remarked at the time "Our last president was a good man but unlucky, all Nigeria needs right now, is luck, something the great Nwankwo has in freakish abundance. Perhaps now someone will reply to my hard-wrote e-mails and wire the money my terminally ill wife and children need...god bless the bumbling one"
During his time in office, Kanu created the law that insists all Nigerians send at least one fraudulent e-mail per day. After a year as king his heart eventually rejected the evil and he returned to the game he loves.
Category:Nigeria
Category:Association football players
O'Possums

thumb|scary gary possi
The O'Possum is the Irish national animal. Once used as a tiebreaker in drinking games, the O'Possum is now protected under International Law as an endangered species.
=Habitat=
O'Possums can usually be found in forests near large cities or in pubs, usually around the time the Dublin Drunken Popes, an Irish Premier League futball club, are playing. O'Possums are biturnal, meaning they never sleep and usually have a hangover. This is also why O'Possums are very sensitive to loud noises.
Opossum’s Feeding Habits 
Eating habits - Opossums are omnivores. They eat carrion, worms, eggs, snails, insects, snakes, crayfish, toads salamanders, mice, birds slugs, fruits, vegetables, garbage. Nearly always feeds at night, active between dusk and dawn. Locate food by sense of smell. During the day they sleep in a hole in the ground or in a hollow tree. They are climbers and will sometimes enter a hole in an attic wall to spend days safely sleeping under the roof. 
Although they acquire a layer of fat in the fall, they neither store food nor hibernate so must eat constantly. Solitary hunters, they may forage several acres in a single night and move frequently to new locations. When food is abundant, they will hange around for more than two or three days.
=Mating Habits=
O'Possums usually mate with other O'Possums that they never would have mated with if they were sober. Their evolution as alchovores has encouraged procreation for the O'Possum.
Nocturnal mating also aids in the acceptance of otherwise repugnant partners. When the O'Possum liqour supply runs thin they may be forced into brief sobriety; coherent enough to be "painfully" aware of their mates aggressively grin they eat 
=Attacks on Humans=
Only one O'Possum attack is known. Shamus O'Reilly, a fan of the Wexford Wombats, was splashed with sulfuric acid (or sulphuric acid if you're a godless commie from Rest of World who likes to spell thing phunny) by a rabid O'Possum after the Wombats defeated the Drunken Popes 2-1.
chessey poofs 
=Other Facts=
*Blah blah blah drunk joke.
*An O'Possum—code name Yer Man—was the first, and as of 2005 only, living being to orbit the Earth as part of the Irish Space Programme. He blasted off on 23 May 1965 on a Knock IV booster from the Cape Clear Space Centre, but due to a trajectory miscalculation (later traced to an argument between mission specialists over how big St Patrick's coracle would have had to have been to carry all his robes) the capsule only entered orbit on 4 September 1983.
*A parallel mission launched by the Oh Possums in Australia is still drilling its way toward Dublin. 
*O'Possums taste good when prepared with a fresh chutney. There is a bit of a gamey aftertaste, however.
=O'Possums in Popular Culture=
*O'Possums are typically bred for their skills in magic.
*O'Possums can be used as work animals, such as pulling a nightcart.
*Jack Benny had a pet possum, and brought it to work with him. It remained backstage.
Category:Fauna of Ireland
Category:Mammals
Category:Marsupials
OMG

Owe-Em-Gees (sometimes known as Online Motherfucking Group) are strange and elusive creatures that inhabit the deep forests of hyperspace, and so little is known about them that most people only know them as a phrase ("OMG")used to express excitement or surprise. The appearance of the Owe-Em-Gee is questioned, but it is usually an "Octarine" coloured, 3D word, with tiny wings. It bites and scratches. Their close relatives include the Roffle and the Zomg. Their predators include the evil Stuffoo, which is known for its ability to silence an unwary Owe-Em-Gee by amushing them from the front, and the Dubble-ewetee-eff, a bizzarre creature with nasty, questionable habit. 
It has been said that RMS took power on them, using his secret GNU weapon.
== The Notorious Owe-Em-Gee ==
Owe-Em-Gees appear daily in many conversations on the web: in forums, IM conversations, e-mails, MySpace and other blog sites, etc. Internet conversations are their breeding grounds. When many OMGs suddenly insert themselves into a conversation, you know it's breeding time. 
EXAMPLE--a typical Instant Message conversation (if these are actual screen names I don't apologize)
:Robzorg2341: Did u kno that The Killers r playing in Oakland tomorrow?''
:Ninjakiller666: OMG OMG OMG OMG RLY?!?!?!?!
:Robzorg2341: OMG r u hi?
:Ninjakiller666: OMG how did u kno? 
:Robzorg2341: omg WTF n00b''
In the example above, breeding season was at its peak for OMGs. As you can see in the last IM, a young OMG was attacked by a WTF, which ended its life mercilessly.
A more common use of the OMG sign is Oh My Groin.
== O.M.F.G. ==
OMFG or more commonly known as Oh My Fucking God is an uprising text talk acronym.
Category:AcronymsCategory:Three LettersCategory:Internet-speakCategory:Interjections
pt:OMG
fi:OMG
he:OMG
it:OMG
OMGWTF

OMGWTF ("Oh my God, what the fuck?!") is the most used phrase in online gaming. This may not necessarily be the combined -- OMGWTF -- but may also be used in either half -- OMG -- and/or -- WTF.
Other meanings may be;
*Orgy Making Gay Walnut Tanning Flags
*Oh My God World Totaly Fucked....World Best BF2 Clan
*Old Monkeys Grow Weird Turtle Farts
*Omitting Movie Gravity When Tarantula Flying
*Overtly Mixing Gravy Whilst Turkey Fixing
*Obese Midget Grandparents Wank The Flamingo
*Opium Microscopes Granulate Wet Tires, Floyd
*Onionrings Might Get With The Frenchfries
*Old Mother Georgia Whips Theodore Finally
*Obnoxious Masturbating Gophers Without Their Fingers
*Oogle Moogle Google Woogle Toogle Foogle
*Offering Myself Gets Wasted Tryout Flapjack
*Oblong Mustard Grounds Wink Three Fish
*Oscar Might Go Wee Twice, Fool
*Odd Masters Graph; Wing Turtles Fight!
*Overweight Mother Goes With The Flow
*Obvious Machine for Gathering Whole Tankers of Fudge
*Overall, Massive Grues Won't Take Feeling-up
*Open Mom's Gopher While Tempting Fargo
*Omnipotent Mangled Gyrating Wedded Turtle Fappers
*Only My Giant Worm Titty Fucks
*Openly-Mentally Geeky Wok Turning Freaks
*Orgasmic-Mental Gyration Will Triangulate Fudge-packers
*Oprah Matches Gail With The First-timers
*Oh My Girlyman's Weeny Teeny Fudger
*Oh My Fucking Wanking Tit Friend
*Oscar Meyer Gives Weiners To Fatties
== Proper Usage ==
The proper usage of OMGWTF (WAHHHHHHH! is interchangeable) is during the throws of an orgasm or during a midnight duel between two Frenchmen armed with small herrings (the proper French pronunciation is "Poop"). 
*OMGWTF is A FUCKING SWEAR!
For more swears see swearing!
== Legality ==
The use of OMGWTF is considered illegal in all known countries, states, islands, atolls, provinces, peninsulas and territories except for France. The most common punishment for use of word is death by cheese grating and the offender’s remains must be consumed by his closest relative if not his neighbour. The more uncommon punishments can range from being locked in dark room while bring forced to listen to nothing but Jet albums for 53 hours (This is considered a capital punishment as 98% of prisoners kill themselves while the surviving 2% are stabbed for liking Jet) to being beaten repeatedly with soggy mattresses.
== Weather ==
See Storms, no precipitation. 
Category:Internet-speak
fr:Putain de bordel de merde !