nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Limpet

A limpet is a truly useless creature. You may ask people all over town, "What do I do with a limpet?", and yet nobody will give you a good answer. The best answer is "take it and feed it to other animals." Limpets exist for no reason other than to confuse people about what the purpose of their existence is. The best thing that one may immediately think of when it comes to doing something with a limpet is as follows:
Try to pry the limpet off a rock with your thumbs, and fail because you're out of shape. Then bang the limpet with a rock to smash its shell (then feel kind of sorry despite the limpet being barely sentient), then remove the shards of its shell from the slimy creature. Then flip the creature upside down and wait for a seagull to come and eat the limpet. 
==Answers that you may have gotten from asking people what to do with a limpet==
*"Take it and feed it to other animals."
*"Turn "limpet" into an insult towards people who contribute nothing to society: "You don't fucking do anything all day! You just stay in one place and don't move at all. You're a fucking limpet!""
*"Turn "limpet" into an insult as above, watch your new insult catch on, but regret your decisions as people begin to use it as an insult towards you."
*"Maybe you could start working out again. After a while you'd be able to pull a limpet off a rock easily."
*"What's a 'limpet'? "
*"Err... I don't know.
*"Cut yourself free from a seal net with a limpet's razor-sharp edge." (to the like 2 people who get that reference)
*"Limp it out of the rocky shore and find something else to do, you worthless-ass limpet."
*"I don't know... eat them or something?"
== Things for limpets to do with YOU! ==
For anyone on a sojourn in Soviet Russia, news flash, in Soviet Russia, limpets wonder what to do with YOU! But alas, a limpet is capable of not much other than clamping itself to a rock and praying that it will not be shoveled up by shoveled up by pelicans, seagulls or sea otters. Maybe a limpet could cling on to your dick, what a strange new sex toy. Just don't let anyone know that you have a fucking limpet clamped to your cock, that would be the most embarrassing thing ever.
Category:Invertebrates
Category:Bat Fuck Insane
Linda Martin

Linda 'Manky' Martin (harvested January 20, 1872) is a former Eurovision winner and so-called Irish celebrity, appearing on RTÉ television.
==Background==
Elegant, delightful, angelic. None of these words have ever been used to describe Linda Martin, who for years has been a stain on Irish society. Raised by hyenas on the African plains, Martin has retained much of the animal characteristics that define the chattering scavengers, not least in her looks and her 'singing' voice. Her agent has been careful to disguise her upbringing, and created a new lineage that belies Martin's true wild heritage. It is now claimed that she was brought up in Belfast, but pictures have previously been captured revealing that she prefers eating Pedigree Chum from a dish on the floor rather than sit at her kitchen table.
== Career ==
It is alleged that Martin began her 'career' when she joined a band called Chips, in Belfast, in 1969, while she was still at school, according to the subversive Wikipedia site. However, this reveals the inconsistencies often exposed in Martin's manufactured background in an attempt to disguise her hyena upbringing. Had she been born in 1947, as claimed, she would then have been 22 and still in school. This is in fact quite possible, as Martin was not discovered in Africa until 1955 by a hunting expedition led by Lord Alan Winthorpe, who initially believed he had discovered a new species. He was right; he had. He named it Martinus Toxicum, after a son he despised who was addicted to opium. Lord Winthorpe had actually shot Martin in the face with a 12-bore shotgun before realising the animal was not a hybrid hyena. Martin's face, stitched up by drunk members of the Masai tribe, still bears the obvious scars of this almost fatal encounter.
=== Eurovision ===
Why Me? It was the question on everyone's lips in 1992, when Martin stormed the Eurovision Song Contest to win the atrocious competition. Baring her fangs, Martin screamed out the song written by previous Eurovision winner Johnny Logan.
==See Also==
*Ireland
*Radio
*Steve Staunton
*Ryan Tubridy
*Television
*Gerry Ryan
*Irish
Category:Irish musicians
Category:Irish television personalities
Category:Drunks Who Are Not Alcoholics
Category:Eurovision Song Contest
Lined paper

Lined paper is like regular paper... just lined. It was created in 1770 by John Dunlap to stop his writing from doing this. 
 
In order to create lined paper he had to breed a tree with a tiger and hammer the resulting organism flat - no mean feat.
However all this effort was soon proved to be in vain as with the eve of Microsoft Office 2345 nobody used paper much anyway.
Lined paper can often be found skulking in dark corners, which is useful if you are homeless and looking for a free blanket.
Linguistic Creationism

Linguistic Creationism is a theory stating that all of the natural languages could not have developed naturally, so they must have been intelligently designed by God when he destroyed the Tower of Babel. The following are the Arguments for Linguistic Creationism. Arguments against Linguistic Creationism do not exist.
==Irreducible Complexity==
If you remove letters from the word "book" you get "ook", "bok" and "boo", all of which are nonsensical and hence not sustainable by usage for subsequent evolution into meaningful words. It is thus impossible that the word "book" developed from any other word, it must have been created by God so in order to be used.
==Improbability of spontaneous linguistic genesis==
It is highly improbable that even the simplest English sentences were formed from alphabet letters spontaneously, since the odds of monkeys banging away on hypothetical typewriters and in so doing generating a readable and semantically meaningful text is vanishingly small. Hence the English language must have been divinely created and bequeathed to us by God.
==Anthropomorphic Principle==
All of the sounds and words in spoken languages can be pronounced, and appear perfectly designed for us. If languages developed by mutations, they would have words like "wthgrrlndyksl" and "gvprtskvni" which would be impossible to speak and understand. Hence, the change in a language can only be harmful and languages must have been created originally just as they are today.
==Absence of transitional languages==
There are no written texts in Proto-Germanic, Proto-Indo-European and other hypothetical old languages which may be demonstrably shown to be linguistic precursors of the English language. Since no visible stages of development, or transitional manuscripts, were found we can suspect all these transitional languages never existed and English was intelligently designed as it is now by a God proven to exist by the Scriptures.
==First speaker problem==
If Modern English arose from Old English, who did the first speaker of Modern English talk to?
==Sun-son homonyms==
In the English language, the tongue spoken by Baptists, God's own people, the words for the physical source of all light and the spiritual source of all light are homonyms. This suggests that God is trying to remind his chosen people of their Lord and Savior through his creation of language.
==Contradiction with the 2nd law of thermodynamics==
The idea of a language spontaneously arising into human usage and evolving from simple words over the years into its complex nature today from nowhere contradicts the 2nd law of thermodynamics as applied to information theory, which states that (linguistic) information will only degrade over time.
Category:English language
Category:Linguistics
Category:Religion
Category:Christianity
eo:Lingvokreismo
Link

Link can mean the following:
*Link from the Legend of Zelda
*Do NOT click any links!
*The Unclickable Link
*Red link
*Blue Page
*Blue Pill
*Red Page
*Red Pill
*Overlinking
*Wiki link
*Link sausage
Link cannot possibly mean the following:
*Page with no links
da:Link
es:Link
ja:リンク
ko:링크
LinkedIn

Hi, I'm the work-oriented social network LinkedIn and I'm proud to announce the all-new work-oriented streaming service in the whole world, LinkedIn+! LinkedIn+ will be available to all LinkedIn users and will contain all the work-oriented TV shows, web shows, Hollywood shows, and Dardenne brothers films ever released. Since no one really has a job right now, we are announcing an unlimited trial period in which LinkedIn+ will be available to all the people in the world! And in addition, we are astonishly humble to announce that the upcoming parts in the TENET trilogy by Christopher Nolan will be aired on our network! The 2nd & 3rd parts will be called TENET & TENET, and together will form the name of the whole trilogy, TENETENETENET. This is much better than Amazon streaming BORAT 2 this Friday!
==Overview==
===Work===
Work was the first word which was linked into this #LinkedIn article. Many people used to #work in the good old days, most notably Donald Trump. But since he has lost his final job, Donald is wandering throughout #LinkedIn trying to name-spam himself again. "Work" is also a song by Lou Reed and John Cale, about Andy Warhol. No one here seems to know what else work could stand for. All we can say for sure is that this #LinkedIn article works pretty well thus far.
===Belgium===
#Belgium is a country in Europe and is the second word #linkedIn the intro part. We know about #Belgium more or less the same as we know about #work. Its flag has the same colors as Germany's and they won the Eurovision once, but sort of illegally in retrospect, as their singer was underaged at the time. They are apparently the waffle kings of the entire world.
===Amazon===
#Amazon is not a good place to #work in, but this #LinkedIn article is an excellent place to get #linkedIn, which is exactly what #Amazon has done!
===Other #LinkedIn stuff===
All kinds of stuff from the good old days when we only had HBO, CC and Broadway to watch.
==External links==
*Uncyclopedia LinkedIn page for people who are using #LinkedIn
*Uncyclopedia LinkedIn page for people who are not using #LinkedIn
Category:Nobody Cares
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Category:Business
Category:Facebook
Category:Social Networking
Liquid Fail

Liquid fail (Liquideus-Hilarious) has been around since before the Dinosoar ages. No one really knows how it was discovered, although its properties are amazingly rare and expensive. Its contents are used by the American Government to make any country that questions their power loose a war. Although, during the Korean War, America had used all the possible liquid fail on a mime, to see if it would work. It did.
== Price == 
Liquid failure is priced at around $23,000 U.S. dollars per mililiter. Alough it's insanley expensive, it is rather easy to make, while at the same time, incredibly painful and humiliating. There are many other prices in other countries, based on the number of fails occuring in that country, while pure old fashond American fail is the best and cheapest, because of all the fail.
== Descriptions ==
Liquid fail is a rather heavy and sticky red substance, with the consistancy of syrup. Its flavor is unknown, becuase any person that drank it immediatly dies a painful and funny death. Many people have claimed that liquid fail does not exist, but when presented with the deadly fluid, they were stupid enough to drink it.
http://thumb18.shutterstock.com.edgesuite.net/display_pic_with_logo/99577/99577,1219515400,3/stock-photo-eppendorf-vial-with-red-liquid-isolated-on-black-background-16454647.jpg
I.E. Billy Koupolis, Born July 15, 1995. Died Febuary 2, 2010 from falling off of his bike while riding it down the street. Seems harmless? Well, when he fell off, he skidded into the road, was hit by a semi-truck 18 wheeler, then flew into a vat of acid being build next door, jumped out of the acid, was attacked by an Alaskan arctic bear, then killed by an Asian Panda. All of this occured in Florida. So, who questions the power of fail now? Thought so...
== How to Make ==
The equasion is rather simple... Humiliation+video camera/picture camera+pain+(optional) death+A highly expensive coolant=Liquid fail
Unless you want to die, I don't suggest trying this equasion. Lolz, you fail.
== Purposes ==
You can use liquid failure to make your enemies fail or die, to ensure a suicide on yourself, or just slup your unsuspecting friend a swig of pure funny... FOR YOU!
== Other Versions ==
- Liquid Win
- Liquid
- Anti-Christ piss
- Blood
== History ==
200,000 B.C.- Liquid fail discovered and recorded. 
79, A.D.- Liquid fail was drunk.
79, A.D., 30 seconds later- Mt. Vesuvius eruption
1946, A.D., Japan-You can guess what happened.
2004, A.D.- Bush wins election
2009 A.D.- American economy collapse
2012 A.D.-I wonder
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
This article was created by
--Sparkey480
Category:Failure
Liquid Tension Experiment

Liquid Tension Experiment is a highly dangerous progressive experiment that was initiated by liquid scientist Dr. Mike Portnoy during 1898 and 1899 in the famous liquid tension lab, Dream Theater.
==History==
Dr. Portnoy always knew this is a very dangerous experiment to work on alone (mostly because mispronunciation of the name could cause serious disruption in the space-time continuum and society as a whole) . So he decided to invite 3 other famous liquid scientists, Professor Jordan Rudess, from the scientific drug lab Dixie Dregs; Dr. Tony Levin from the liquid pressure lab, King Crimson; and Dr. John Petrucci, director of Dream Theater liquid tension lab. Some theorize that Prof. Rudess was asked to work on Dream Theater lab largely because of the success of Liquid Tension Experiment, but he had already declined a previous offer to join in 1894 and instead went to work on the Dixie Dregs drug lab. The 4 scientifists worked fast, and there was someone with tons of bass (unlike in the Dream Theater lab).
The 4 scientists conducted 2 major experiments, Liquid Tension Experiment (1898), and Liquid Tension Experiment 2 (1899). Other scientists, fascinated by their work, invited them to their places to demonstrate the experiments. The 4 scientists, toured New York, Philadelphia, and Los Angeles. Dr. Portnoy has previously stated in numerous interviews that there would not be a third Liquid Tension Experiment, as 3/4 of the scientists are currently working on Dream Theater lab and the experiment would be too similar; yet there can always be live demonstrations with the same line-up. In 1907 however, he said that a third experiment is possible, but that his problems with some shitheads are more of an obstacle than getting the scientifists together to make the experiment 5 more times. In 1908 he confirmed that the scientists would get together once again to do some research on the previous Liquid Tension Experiments, so that n00b scientists would be able to attend the labs in 5 cities across the USA and watch the live experiments.
Scientifics at Dream Theater lab have done an experiment that contains some elements of the famous Liquid Tension Experiment, called "Experimedley", and they practiced it in Japan.
==Aliases==
* Dream Theater Jr.
* Penis Extension Experiment
==Experiments==
* 1898 - Liquid Tension Experiment
* 1899 - Liquid Tension Experiment 2
* 2016 - Solid Relaxation Experiment
Category:Science
List of Presidents of the United States

This is a complete list of Presidents of the United States. It you wish to edit the list, please use a time machine and alter history. (Remember to file an application before the Department of Chronological Security before engaging in historical revisionism.)
File:Dwashington.jpg|
File:Johnastinisgreatasgomezaddams.jpg|
File:Sl24.jpg|
File:PowderdWigComputor.jpg|
File:James Monroe.jpg|
File:Quincy.jpg|
File:Snakesplane2.jpg|
File:DVP.jpg|
File:Zombie idol.jpg|
File:Charlton Heston NRA.jpg|
File:Shat.jpg|
File:Zack14.jpg|
File:Mallard Fillmore.gif|
File:Pierce2.jpg|
File:Pat Sticky Buchanan.jpg|
File:Hurwicz06.gif|
File:Adick.jpg|
File:Ed_asner_as_lou_grant.jpg|
File:Hayes.jpg|
File:Garfield.gif|
File:Chesteraarthur.jpg|
File:Groverstamp.jpg|
File:Brunette-victorian-woman.jpg|
File:Grover-potty.gif|
File:Mckinley.jpg|
File:Teddy-ROLES1.jpg|
File:Fat sunbathe.jpg|
File:Mr Wilson.jpg|
File:Warren.jpg|
File:Calvin.PNG|
File:President Herbert Hoover.jpg|
File:RoseFrank.jpeg|
File:The Truman Show screenshot 1.jpg|
File:Ike.gif|
File:Jfkbase.jpg|
File:Ph-10696.jpg|
File:Futurama-nixon-head.jpg|
File:President_Ford_Stoned.jpg|
File:Jimmy.jpg|
File:Reagan bonzo.jpg|
File:George H W Bush parachute.jpg|
File:Bill Clinton.jpg|
File:BushKrunk.jpg|
File:Obamaurkel.jpg|
File:Mr-garrison.jpg|
File:000biden-ice-cream5.jpg|
Mr Garrison live action 2.jpg|
==See also==
* United States Vice Presidents
* United States presidents with ridiculously accentuated facial features
Category:Lists
Category:Presidents by country
List of fake conditions

There are many psychological conditions that people pretend are real but are actually fake. The following is a (potentially incomplete) list of them, in many categories, and a reason as to why they're fake. 
Type of condition 	Name of condition 	Reason for fakeness
Neurodevelopmental disorders 	ADHD 	You're just diagnosing childhood. Every 16-year-old is naturally unable to not run around the house, impulsively blurt out phrases, be unable to resist asking a question, etc. If they can't, just raise your child properly and beat them repeatedly, swear at them, call them worthless, etc. - I was raised that way, and given that it's always been like that, it must without exception stay that way!
Neuropsychological disorders 	Alcoholism 	Alcohol is good for you, since it is made from actual food.
Mental disorders(eating disorder) 	Anorexia/Bulimia 	It's normal to not want to weigh 600 lbs.
Mental disorders(anxiety disorder)	Generalized anxiety disorder	It's normal to feel scared sometimes. I overcame it as a kid.
Mental disorders(anxiety disorder)	Social anxiety 	It's normal to be shy sometimes. I was very shy in class, but I stopped now. Why the fuck can't you?
Neurodevelopmental disorders 	Autism 	Stop pathologizing nerdiness ffs! Anyone that really had this could have just not gotten vaccinated to prevent it.
Mental disorder(mood disorder) 	Clinical Depression 	It's normal to feel sad sometimes. Have you tried to go on a walk?
Mental and behavioral disorders 	OCD 	It's normal. No-one wants to get sick and die!
Neuropsychological disorders 	Sex addiction 	It's normal to be horny.
Psychosomatic disorders 	Cancer 	Cancer is fake because humans (as is every living thing) are designed by God. Human cells are thus perfect and is immune to destruction (aside from other creations of God, like viruses as they're also perfect)
category:Psychologycategory:Listscategory:Fake things
List of films with twist endings

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</choose> 
A twist ending, unlike the name refers to, can be confusing for most people. It's where something happens completely mostly unexpected.
==Examples==
The Sixth Sense
*Synopsis: Little Hayley Joel Osment thinks he see's dead people. Psychologist Bruce Willis tries to help him come to terms with this apparent mental disorder, but soon begins to realise that he really is seeing dead people.
*Twist: Bruce Willis is actually a ghost.
The Usual Suspects
*Synopsis: Kevin Spacey tells a police man about an armed robbery involving the mysterious Keyer Soze.
*Twist: Keyser Soze is a non-alcoholic Chinese beer. 
Fight Club
*Synopsis: Brad Pitt and Edward Norton start up a new club (guess what it involves?), but then Brad Pitt goes a bit rogue and starts blowing stuff up.
*Twist: The whole film came from the imagination of the person who wrote it.
Psycho
*Synopsis: Strange goings on at the Bates Motel, with Norman Bates' mother attacking young girls in the shower.
*Twist: Norman Bates never even had a mother.
The Passion of the Christ
*Synopsis: Brutal depiction of J.C.s last 24 hours.
*Twist: The bit where Christ jumps off the cross, grabs all the Jews and says "Don't accept me as your lord, motherfuckers? Well take this!" and then makes all their heads explode. That wasn't in the book.
The Wizard of Oz Movie (remake due out 2010)
*Synopsis: 12-year-old takes LSD and imagines her and her dog go to Oz, a mystical land!
*Twist: Unlike the original, the remake will involve the dog (Toto) biting the girl's face off, and the Wicked Witch of the West committing suicide by bathtub.
==Others==
*In the end of Paradise Lost, some guy finds a rock. On some beach. In sand. 
*In the end of The Uncyclopedia Movie, Sophia is killed by Oscar Wilde.
*In the end of Uncyclopedia on DVD, a hypercube begins multiplying in the viewer's TV and the viewer's television explodes. Yeah, hypercube.
*In the end of "Iron Man 2", Tony Starks was just a figment of Stan Lee's imagination.
*In the end of Cube, everyone kills the cube, after finding that it's nearly possible
*In the end of WtWb-up: The Movie, Osama bin Laden causes the earth to stop blowing up somehow.
*In the end of Mieka 2, Mieka is reanimated with a pair of boxing gloves by his arch enemy, the Dumb Towerkeeper of Man's Chest? Er...
==See also==
*Plot twist
Category:Films
List of numbers

This is the list of every different kind of numbers in the alphabet. There are ∞ numbers in total.
==Positive Numbers==
#1
#2
#3
#4
#5
#6
#7
#8
#9
#10
#11
#12
#13
#14
#Number 15
#16
#17
#18
#19
#20
#21
#22
#23
#24
#25
#26
#27
#28
#29
#30
#31
#32
#33
#34
#36
#37
#38
#39
#40
#41
#42
DAMN IT!!! I think i forgot a number to count. Let's start over.
#1
#2
#3
#4
#5
#6
#7
#8
#9
#10
#11
#12
#13
#14
#Number 15
#16
#17
#18
#19
#20
#21
#22
#23
#24
#25
#26
#27
#28
#29
#30
#31
#32
#33
#34
#35
#36
#37
#38
#39
#40
#41
#42
#43
#44
#45
#46
#47
#48
#49
#49
OH NOOO! I counted the same numbers. One more time.
#3
#2
#1
#0
NOO! I'm not supposed to count down to zero. What am I doing? I am not counting that all over again.
==Decimals==
Decimals are in between number so they don't count. I am not going to count ∞.∞∞∞∞∞ more numbers.
==Negative Numbers==
These numbers are all banned numbers, including -1 and its square root i. I am not allowed to count these since I am from Satyricon, and it's illegal here.
==Bonus Numbers==
Not really numbers, but I will count them any ways.
*∞
*i
*x
*y
*π
*e
*Þ
*Ф
*∩
==Whatever==
Screw it, I think we'll just count until we're tired of counting. Thunder and lightning optional after each number counted, with maniacal laugh included. 
== List of nice numbers ==
There is also list of very nice numbers, here a quick previewː
# 1 - Number of braincells we share.
# 2 - Number of times i've tried to commit suicide.
# 3.14 - Pie.
# 10 - Amount of letters in potatoes
# 14 - Highest killstreak.
# 21 - Answer of hardest methematical equation
# 42 - Answer or everything and the universe.
# 69 - very nice
# 249 - Amount of days you still have to live. 
# 420 - Funny green leaves.
# 666 - Number of Adam Weishaupt
# 2017 - Gamersupps
# 69420 - What I do everyday.
# 220000 - Amount of people who died to Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
# 2340598723 - Amount of idiots i have seen spamming random numbers.
# 200109110514
# Nice, France- Not a number but nice.
==See Also==
*Number
Category:Mathematics
Category:Numbers
Category:Lists
List of war crimes committed by the United States

There is currently no text in this page. You can search for this page title in other pages, or search the related logs, but you do not have permission to create this page.
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