A Trollpasta Where Every Paragraph Is Written By a Different Person

You read the title correctly, every paragraph is this trollpasta is written by a different person.
The rules are simple, any user can make a paragraph, but you can only make ONE. So make sure it's creative and funny. Also make sure to follow the Trollpasta Wiki rules and make sure your paragraph has some relation to the one before it, other than that, have fun!
==The Pasta==
I was an intern at Cartoon Network studios, Inc, LLC,,. Unlimited, my job consisted of sweeping the floor, taking out the trash and sweeping the floor while taking out the trash, however while I was doing my job at 3AM (they let me work extra), I found a Regular Show DVD conveniently placed at the studio's only trash can that was...quite, well, uhmm... Odd, I guess, something like that. There was definitely nothing normal about it... In fact, the contents of this tape haunt me to this very day... I've never stopped thinking about it for weeks, months, years, even! Every time before bed and after bed, whenever I'm at home, my job or anywhere else, I keep thinking about that, sick, twisted, disturbing, nauseating episode... It's struck a nerve in me so badly, I might as well remember it even after I die...
It started with clips from random Regular Show clips moving at 3 times speed. Then there was a title card saying, "Mordecai and Rigby's Fallout", welp, I guess Mordecai and Rigby are having their tragic breakup. It started (for real this time) with Rigby stealing a bunch of Tomato Paste from a supermarket. The episode then did a timeskip, Rigby was in a form as if he was turned into a full Were-Skunk like in the episode "Skunked", even though he was turned back to normal with tomato paste before the transformation could reach its climax. And he was on top of Mordecai. What Rigby did to Mordecai would haunt me for the rest of my days. Rigby got on his phone and called Jay & Silent Bob from the movie, Jay & Silent Bob strike back, Jay had a blood red tie while Silent Bob hat was replaced with a top hat with a pentagram poorly scribbled ontop of it.
Jay called his friend, Birch & Liam from that weird Teletoon show, My Life Me, when they came, Birch had black shoes with red shoe laces, she had leather stockings which were patterned with a black & maroon patterned, her shirt had a butterfly sliced with a knife, she also had blood red hair and dark reddish-blue eyes, Liam, however, was simply dressed as Neo from the Matrix.
As I stepped away from the cracked monitor to go grab a snack, the ground beneath me gave way as I was an arm's length from the vending machine. The fall was what felt like hours in length, yet checking my watch it was only 3:14 AM, so I couldn't have fallen that long. The sights that greeted me were of other universes or that of a fever dream, for I was greeted with an average looking human, save for the blank stare, a monster which consisted mostly of a semisolid, translucent ooze and a notebook for a face, a being made of a crown and nothing more, and Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, and Benito Mussolini, Chief Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis, Jambie the Genie, RoboCop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk and Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Oc and Hulk Hogan. Those mismatched miscreants came out of nowhere, landing fast, and... for their efforts they made a good attempt at kicking the ass of Chuck Norris, but due to Death being afraid of Chuck Norris, Death came not for Chuck Norris but Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, and Benito Mussolini, Chief Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis, Jambie the Genie, RoboCop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk and Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Oc and Hulk Hogan.
As I viewed this demonic presence, my monitor began giving off a lemony scent, as that is a Lemon Demon reference. I attempted to end this madness by putting the DVD in a trash compactor, but to no avail. The DVD haunted me, when I ate, when I slept, when I was in the shower, it followed me everywhere.
The next day I got a citation at work because I mentioned the DVD to one of my coworkers, and she reported me for sexual harassment. It didn't make any sense. I had to face the facts, apparently... I convinced myself that Cartoon Network must've struck a deal with Satan (THE DEVIL) to produce this shitload of fuck, and I just happened to be the unlucky bastard who stumbled upon it because life hates me. I didn't even give you readers the full account; I was partially on drugs when most of the scenes were playing out and that was all I could remember of them at the time. I partially recall a scene where Rigby killed Mordecai with a hammer. A claw hammer! It was outrageous, dude... but I digress. I'm gonna be honest with everybody, this was no "regular show". This was a screwed up, twisted show that made me sick to this very day - and it still keeps coming back. I found it on my front porch when I got home from work. I said fuck it; I was gonna watch it again and see if there was anything I missed.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Collab
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:I WAS AN INTERN AT
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Loads of Characters