nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Jeff The Killer Works At McDonald's

right|300px
Jeff was currently watching TV at the totally true mansion and an ad popped up that made Jeff intrigued. 
"THE NEW MACHETE + KNIFE, ONLY FOR $666 DOLLARS!"
Jeff ran over to Slenderman's office like the speed of sound. "Hey bitch, fork over some money!" 
Slenderman, an intellectual, gave him a fork. "Jeff, go get a job at McDonald's. I figured you should as their food is as greasy as your receiving hairline." 
Jeff spat on his shoes and marched over to the McDonald's area. He went over to the cashier and stared at her. "Hiring?" 
"Yes, sir! Please wait for the manager as he-" 
"GET HIM NOW!" 
"Yes, sir! Sorry sir!" She ran to the back, bringing back the manager that looked around 300 lbs. "What do you want?" 
"I want a job here." Jeff said, putting his hands in his pockets, trying to sound as edgy as possible.
"Oh, I think you will be perfect here. The food is as greasy like your receiving hairline." 
"STOP JUDGING MY HAIRLINE! THE HAIRLINE HAS FEELINGS LIKE YOUR STUPIDLY LARGE BELLY!" 
"You are now hired!" The boss said, out of fright and ran off. Well, he didn't run.
Jeff got his apron plus signature visor cap on and nodded. "Time to roast these hoes. Majority of the food back here is gross anyway. "
The day went on slowly. Jeff wasn't a cashier nor window worker. He was a fucking Spongebob joker look-alike hamburger flipping boy. 
Jeff got mad whenever someone judged how greasy the hamburgers were like his hair. So, he decided to take multiple small pieces of his greasy ass hair and cooked it inside the meat. 
A girl soon ordered a cheeseburger and was the unlucky victim of the hair in her meat. She walked over to the front counter and stomped her feet. "Lemme talk to your manager. 
Jeff looked over, went insane, ran over to the girl and killed her. Jeff then killed everyone in the store, including the manager. He went ahead and stole some money from the cash register. He raced back home and closed the mansion's door. He locked all the locks and sat down with the door behind his back. He looked at the money, his eyes widening. 
It wasn't the eyes of happiness.
He only had $665 dollars. 
Then, he died, alongside the narrator of this story, me, thanks to his idiotic self. 
Moral of this story? Never buy something that is $666 dollars. Plus, don't have a greasy receiving hairline. 
THE END :)
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Im died
Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
Category:Loads of Characters
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Overused Running Gag
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Jeff The Killer but I wrote it from memory

"Moving sucks" Said Jeff. He didn't like moving because he has no character. "Can it you failure, I need to talk to our new neighbors." Said his mom, who also had no character. His dad doesn't even do anything. Lpu (guess how much character he has), his brother, agrees with Jeff, but this doesn't amount to anything
"Hey, new kid, give us ya god damn lunch money" said some rather convenient bullies to Lpu. Jeff didn't like this, so he proceeded to beat the everloving shit out of them. Said bullies the promptly lie to school officials, and they believe the kids who have presumably been robbing people at knifepoint (oh yeah I forgot they had knives) for some time, and Lpu takes the fall for Jeff and gets arrested.
For some reason, Jeff's mom thinks it's a good idea to go to some random kid's birthday party, despite her son being in jail. For this occasion, Jeff decides to go out dressed in an alcoholic's hoodie and black jeans. Jeff plays cowboys with said kid, and notes how it's rather childish. 
Out of fuck knows where, the 3 bullies from earlier jump a fence while riding skateboards (they also have skateboards) like they're fucking Bam Magera and put Jeff at gunpoint. Why they'd risk their good standing with the school after they randomly believe them by doing a skateboard drive-by on someone they just met is unimportant, as Jeff proceeds to lay the fuck-smack on them. Two of them die, and Jeff somehow gets covered in wine and bleach. The last bully proceeds to kamikaze Jeff with a lighter, which somehow causes Jeff to erupt in a firey blaze like he's protesting the Vietnam War.
Jeff wakes up in the hospital with a bunch of medical shit in him. His face bandages are taken off and it's revealed he looks like an albino Freddy Kreuger. Jeff is insane now for some reason, so he finds this rather pleasant. This insanity causes him to FUCKING CUT OFF HIS EYELIDS AND SLICE OPEN HIS JAW because he feels that look suits him. He also kills his parents for no discernible reason and may or may not have killed his brother after telling him he needs rest.
And then a skeleton popped out.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:BATTELS
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Jeff The Killer is Underpowered in d20

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Cliché Madness" heresy that's going on in the Creepypasta Community right now. Jeff The Killer deserves much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a Jeff fan art from DeviantArt for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been lording it over people for almost 2 years now. I can even make fangirls swoon just by describing it.
Anons on 4chan spent years working on a single block of text that would become the finest Creepypasta known to mankind.
Jeff The Killer is thrice as well written as BEN DROWNED and thrice as real for that matter too. Anyone scared by an NES Godzilla chapter will be dramatically more afraid after reading a Jeff story. I'm pretty sure Jeff could easily bisect Slender Man with a simple vertical slash. That last line there was related to what I was talking about before I swear to Haruhi.
Ever wonder why Jeff The Killer is on the Trollpasta Wiki now? That's right, the admins were too scared by the original Creepypasta and it's images of destruction. Even in 2009, 4chan /x/ board admins targeted Jeff pastas for deletion because their creepiness power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Jeff The Killer is simply the best Creepypasta that the world has ever seen, and thus, requires better position in the Creepypasta community. Here is what I propose for the Creepypasta Wiki Network:
Jeff The Killer - returned to the Creepypasta Wiki, made Creepypasta of the Month
Jeff The Killer vs. Jane The Killer - brought to the Spinpasta Wiki, made Spinpasta of the Month
Now that seems a lot more representative of the Creepiness power of Jeff in real life, don't you think?
TL;DR Jeff The Killer needs to be seen as the rightful king of the Creepypasta World that he is once again, see my proposal above.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Rants
Category:Memes
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Jeff The Killer vs Eyelessjack

Jeff was breaking in someone's house to kill them. He was in their room looking at his victim. The person woke up and seen jeff their. Go To Sleep jeff said. Has someone pushed jeff down. The person who did it ate the persons kidneys and turned around. What jeff saw wasn't normal. He seen a person with dark around their body. His face was wearing a blue mask. Jeff also saw his eyes. His eyes weren't their. Has black blood was coming down it's eyes. Who the fuck are you jeff said. The man stayed quiet. Has the man lunged at jeff where his kidney was. Jeff was fast enough to dodge and stabbed the man's back. He grabbed his knife back and ran in the living room. The man followed jeff into the living room. The man grabbed jeff from his neck. Jeff wasn't breathing. Has Jeff's hand stabbed the mans chest. Has jeff falled he went to the kitchen and grabbed two knives. Go To Sleep jeff said. He stabbed his arms when the man got up. The man was still standing up with his hands bleeding black blood. Jeff started to feel his kidneys feeling like their being chewed. Jeff looked down and saw eyelessjack eating one of his kidneys while jeff was standing. Jeff stabbed eyelessjack again with jack on the ground trying to get up. Jeff's kidney was hurting in the inside. Half of it was gone. Jeff went to eyelessjack who was still on the ground. Jeff tooked off his mask. When eyelessjacks mask was off his face wasn't normal. His teeth were crooked. His eyes were black tentacles with black blood dripping. His nose had broken half. Eyelessjack and his mask disappeared. What the hell did i saw jeff said. Has jeff got out of the house he saw a blackened kidney on the ground.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Wall of Text
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:BATTELS
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Shortpasta
Jeff The Slep

Jeff suddenly awoke surrounded in a shroud of blackness. Wary of this unknown environment, he slowly arose from his prone position he found himself in. As he stood up, he felt uneasy, an almost palpable sense of suffocation and intense pressure clenched him suddenly.
"W-what the hell is this...?" he fought to inquire. How was it that he ended up here. This unfamiliar place which lacked any form or feature. Jeff began to feel crushed under this pressure. He could no longer stand. Jeff then collapsed to his knees still fighting. However, before his view, the void opened. What he saw, was something only a slep warrior could understand. A tall, large obelisk had decended to the ground from the maw which opened from the void above. Upon the structure many etchings were scrawled into it telling the tales of many other slep warriors through time. As Jeff began to feel as though he would give up the ghost he watched through clenched eyes the bestowing of several more obelisks to follow.
The heroic tales of grandeur of the many slep warriors all were laid out for Jeff, the progenitor, to see. Such tales of Max the slep, Nina the slep, Jane the slep, etc. Some even had the pleasure and blessing of slepping beside Jeff as he was immortal and saw and lived through many generations of slep warriors. Jeff began to cry.
"Why? What is this? What do you want with me?"
The voices of many, the cries of a thousand, answered to Jeff, the original slep warrior, "You are one, yet we are many. Through you we have been born thus we in spirit are none other than your offspring. Without you, we will crumble. You are the pillar upon which we may build and the slep warriors will carry on your dream.
"This is never what I wanted. It was just me!! ME! I wanted to slep! I never cared about any of you! You're all worthless garbage, not worthy of staining my blade!" Jeff spat at the feet of the obelisks.
The obelisks replied, "That's unfortunate. We do not care what you think or say, we merely need you there to birth future generations of slep warriors. As long as you exist in the conscious of few, your children will be many." By the pressure, Jeff then was pushed further down into the blackness. The void was swallowing him and despite struggling... it didn't matter much. Before the darkness could swallow him in the infinite prison void, the obelisks told him, "there's no point in struggling. So, for the time being you should just...
"GO TO SLEP"
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Bad Fanfiction
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Jeff The Twerker

A funny Jeff the killer parody
==The Story==
Jeff was just a normal dude, he did well in college, but one day, he smoked way to much cocaine.
Jeff was going to university one day with his brother Liu, they were just about to get there when a group of gummy bears came towards Jeff
"Gimme your Gummy Bears!!!" Red screamed as he began to pick up Jeff, Jeff had got this tingly feeling he would usually get when he smoked a lot of cocaine, so he began to twist Red Blue and Green's necks off and began feasting.
Next Day, Jeff got invited to a birthday party, Jeff wondered if there was cocaine there, his mom said HELLZ YEA, so Jeff had began walking to the house. When he got there, there was a table of cocaine which was gone completely seconds before Jeff had arrived, he then played Cowboys with kids, when suddenly, the gummy bears had returned with new heads, Jeff got scared and ran upstairs. He was only half way up when he fell down the stairs and landed in yo mamas fat ass. (not to mention there was camel piss in there which bleached Jeff)
==Hospital==
When Jeff removed his bandages he saw his new beautiful face
"I LOOK BEAUTIFUL!!" Jeff Laughed as his mom and dad started laughing too, even though they were socially awkward about Jeff.
When Jeff got home he went straight to the bathroom with a knife, when his mom walked in he looked at her
"Mom, Not enough cocaine went up my nose so I enlargened my right nostril! MAKE ME A TWERK OFF!!"
"Jeff Honey, I will get your dad to make you a Twerk off." So Jeff's mom went to Jeffs dad and said "Honey, Get the Cannabis" All of a sudden, jeff came in an said
"Mom, you weren't gonna make me a twerk off, time to die!!!!" So Jeff bagan Twerking and Jeffs Mom got sucked into Jeff's Arse, then Jeff Twerked again and Jeffs Dad got sucked into Jeff's Arse, then Jeff Twerked again and Liu got sucked into Jeff's Arse, He then went around twerking on everyone and sucking them into his arse. One Day, he went back and twerked so hard that he sucked his house into his arse. Stephen Hawking then based his black hole theory on Jeffs twerking, only for Stephen Hawking to get sucked in.
Jeff then sucked the whole world in his arse including the "and then a skeleton popped out" jokes.
THE END!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Jeff and Smile Dog

It was a wonderful day when Call of Duty Ghosts finally came out. Jeff really wanted it. When he went to GameStop and was already standing in front of the cash register, he noticed that he only had 5 cents in his pocket. Jeff was sad. He really wanted something to get. The last hope seemed lost, but then his friend Smile saw him. He ran over to the GameStop and ripped down an old man's pants. The money fell to the ground and Smile gave various signals to Jeff to take the money. Instead, Jeff went up to the old man and said "Sir, your money has dropped to the ground, here you go". Jeff looked over at Smile: "Smile what the hell was that supposed to be?! I thought you were helping me get some money but NO! You would rather sniff old men's asses!"
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Vidya games
Category:Shortpasta
Jeff becomes a chef

One day Slendy was getting tired of Jeff always killing his dinner, so he had to convince him to become a chef. After Jeff got out of bed he decided to go to the lake and he did. When he looked at the moon and the Eiffel Tower he thought he should be a chef and he did, but slendy was like "AH FUCK IT HE IS ALREADY BECOMING ONE!!"
==The Jeffalicuos Part==
Jeff got the job and was ordered to make Ratatoowee (I DON'T FEEL IN A MOOD TO CORRECT THE WORD) so first Jeff had to use the "Mini" torteria things i dunno and started to make it but been a dumbass JEFF was he decided to kill one of the costumers that ordered the shit the first place and finished the suate and served it BUT HE RELIZES THAT HE HAD KILLED THE GODDAMN COSTUMERS TO MAKE THE FOOD AND THE MANAGER BURST OUT OF THE DOOR LIKE RALPH AND ASKED
"JEFF!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"WHAT FATASS!"
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY COSTUMERS?"
"I KILLED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THEM TO MAKE THE RATABONER!"
"JEFF YOU BL4CK M0TH3RFUCK3R!!!"
"I'M WHITE YOU FAT PIECE OF SHIT!"
Jeff then got back to work and had to make a hamburger. Then jeff used a shit-load of fuck that don't make a hamburger but then he got bored and decided to go to the bathroom only to M4ST3RBT43 to PlayBrony so he picked up his favorite one pulled his white pingas too start jerking off but then he realized that he had tomato shit on his porn so he went like
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!"
Then the motherfucking manager came in and said
"JEFF WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING"
"NOTHING JUST TAKING A HUGE STEAMING PILE OF SHIT!"
"GET YOUR WHITE ASS RIGHT NOW BEFORE I FUCK THE LIVING FUCK SHIT OUT OF YOU BASTURD!!"
Jeff then started to get angry so he told his boss he's coming out, then he makes burgers but he slips his own shit in the buns and uses blood as ketchup and served it to the hungry people. The manager was so surprised to see this he ALMOST gave jeff a HUGE ASS KNIFE when the people went like "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!"
The manager then said to jeff to meet him in the office and here's the long-ass conversation.
"JEFF WHAT THE FUCK MAN"
"WHAT I MADE YOUR ORDER OF 69 SHIT PILES OF CHIMPANZEE VOMIT!"
"JEFF IM SORRY TO SAY THIS BUT YOUR ULTRA MEGA EVIL PATRIXXX CREEPYPASTA WIKI BAN FIRED!"
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
Jeff then gave the manager a Jack-In-The-box and the manager played with it but instead of a jack coming out a skeleton popped out and jeff replied with
"au revoir asshole!"
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Jeff grown up now!

I saw him, Jeff the killer himself. He had grown up and somehow was still not dead of a infection or caught by the police. He hasn't had a bath in years, I mean when your on the run. You don't have time to care for yourself. 
He still was wearing the same clothes he was when he was like 13 or some shit. He was covered in blood which was realistic because it was real. I was a intern at the time I met him so I was working at J.E.F.F tax company. J.E.F.F standing for (Jeep Employee Faraway Fortress) whatever the fuck that gibberish means. Anyway, Jeff was obviously unhealthy. His eyes seem to have dried up like leaves in autumn. 
"Oh me geez, it's that unknown killed, the one with two eyes (or at least used to have two eyes) and a mouth" I said complaining about him.
Jeff fell over, and holds his mouth, where his wounds were. He chokes up blood and dies from a infection finally. How the hell did he not die yet from that infection, I do not know. All I know is that Jeff is totally dead. Or at least that's what I thought, but unfortunately Jeff didn't fully die and somebody resuscitated him. So I murdered the person who resuscitated him for not paying his taxes, even though I framed him and he did pay his taxes. 
I confronted the slightly overweight (no bodyshaming of course even if it's a murderer) infected man who was Jeff the killer and yelled "YOU NEED HELP! You probably have like 30 infections for godsake. Just go to the hospital and go to jail" I yelled pleasing. 
Jeff said "Go to sleep" and pulled out a gun and shot me in the chest. I collapsed in my own blood, and I then got shot again. Then I died, and I am writing this from the shitty budget afterlife because I couldn't afford actually good afterlife despite my work as murderer of non tax payers. The end 
This shit was proudly presented by Lord Swagger The 10th, I am sorry for you 
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:I WAS AN INTERN AT
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Shortpasta
Jeff is Here

Ok... well basically, some real scary shit has been happening lately and i just have to say, this is one moment i will never forget.
Once i was out and about in the city in my car and there was a lorry in front of me. a midget walked out and got angry at me and he shouted "you little fucker! you didnt remember to pay for your patrol!"
I then made sure my car was at top speed and my car just drifted away like a bullet.
The police didnt catch me luckily. After that i was stuck on the street and i saw a group of guys wearing hoodies. there was one with a big black beard and a yellow hoody who kept getting drunk and he mumbled "i like the freshness of cola diet" yes, it was fucking creepy. Then there was the other guy who had a red sweater and a white theatre mask on and he screamed "FUCK THE POLICE JUST FUCK YOU AND GET AWAY" I think he was mental because there was no police near. The other one was wearing a stripy grey and red sweater and he had a fucking weird messed up face and long white hair and he yelled "I THINK THE NEW WAR IS COMING.... ON MOVIE!" the other person had a blue hoodie and he was sobbing random sounds and he had a fucked up face, again, and he when he calmed down he was yelling stuff like "Oh yeah! fuck you-oh fuck you-oh!" And there were too more, one had long brown hair and a dark grey hoodie and he couldnt talk, he just mumbled a few sounds. and the last one was wearing a white hoodie, i couldnt see their face because they had their head down but he had a fucking messed up laugh and he said "My god! did you see the deaf football last night!" once he turned his head up i was like... FUCK THE GOD! IS THAT JEFF THE KILLER, OH MY FUCKING GOD I GOTTA MOVE! It was him, he had a pale droopy face with a big red mouth and little eyes and the long black hair... but i hid deep in the car so he couldnt find me because i wanted to stay watching, they were like all new too eachother and they said their named."
The guy with the blue hoodie said "my name is fucking jeremy" and the yellow hooded guy said "hi jeff, i need a new canibis growth pot"
I drove my self home and i got a light knock on the door. it was the gang, jeff was the lead man and he whispered to me in my ear make sure you get some sleep because i might want to kill someone"
I pulled out my rifle, and got him.
Thank fuck thats out the way, so i slammed the door shut, none good get in because they were all retarded or drunk.
Now... back to normal... hey i didnt remember putting on brown pants today...
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:English Class Failure
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Excessive Profanity
Jeff is ded

One day, Jeff wanted to play TF2. So he went to a yardsale and bought a haunted copy of The Orange Box. He went on TF2 and was playing a server. he got out of spawn. He got killed, but he obtained an Unusual Cross Com Express. Everyone wanted it, but jeff gave it away to get some keys, but he got scammed. he went to that guys house and killed him. he took his unusual back and got some extras. He went back on the same server, but then, this happened.
BEN: You killed my homie. match?
Jeff: HELL TO THE YEAH, BIATCH. Bring it on.
Then, they had a battle. Jeff kept getting pwned and repeatedly asked for rematches. Finally, BEN was fed up.
BEN: No more rematches. You suck, dude.
Jeff has left the game. (Disconnect by user.)
Jeff went out to kill BEN. He would not stop. Here is the story.
Jeff: I WILL KILL BEN. Time to go to Jadusable's house.
Jeff checked his pocket for Worm Jeff. Worm Jeff always tried to steal his money. Sure enough, WJ was there. Jeff flicked him out the window infront of the car. He proceded to run over WJ. It was so hyperrealistic, everyone's pants turned brown. Anyway, the car gave him a low fuel warning, so he went to a gas station. He busted into the store there and saw a baby. The baby was crying. Jeff scooped up the baby and rocked him in his arm. "go to sleep, go to sleep little baby." The baby was soothed and went to sleep. The baby's mother paid jeff 5 dollars. He used 1 dollar on some Slender-Juice and 4 on gas. When he was driving, a sentry attacked and blew up his car. Onstar told him he shouldn't have done that, and he was at BEN's House by teleportation. Ben got a shovel and beat up Jeff. Jeff was knocked out.
Ben: YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT, MAN (See bottom)
THE END
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:BATTELS
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:The Title Is A Lie
Category:Zel-DUUHHH
Category:Shortpasta