The Bug Catcher

This one honts me to this day... it all happened some 15 years ago in soutjern california, usa. my friend, lets call him turkey, was quit an interesting young chap. (unrelated, although strangley coincidental, his lips, were always "chapped"). turkey wasnt very nice to the rest of us, he kep to himself, listened to green day, and collected bugs, and he was also in a band somnetimes. i dont even want to begin explainign his sister, who may have been clinically a psychotoic psychopath. one day thoguh, he was collecting a lot of bug. when i aksed him wat he was doing he licked his cracked and crusty mouth flaps and he said "make like a tree and LEAF!!!!!!" i ran. it was at that peculiar moment i had the sinister idea of surveillancing him for the rest of that evening... i hid behind a busch and veiwed his actions, of which i will never forget.
turkey was sinisteringly chuckling to himself. as i focused my eyes upon his moving fingers to see what those actions were; i saw that he was plucking the wings off the bugs. he would tear the limbs off the thorax, one by one, reciting "he loves me, he loves me not..." getting more infuriated by each failed attempt... finally, he gripped the bugs, squirming between his fingers. i could almost here their terror and buzzing. finally, he would drop them into his gaping mouth, not unlike a titan. his chewing was so passionate that he could not prevent the hyperrealstic omega disgusting drool from dribbling down his chin. i was just close enough to hear his moaning, which he tried with all his might to supress... i ran home and ended up forgetting about it after playing boogie for wii (i was much to impoverished to afford the likes of guitar hero or just dance.)
that night. that fateful unforgiving night. i had fallen into a deep slumber after a grueling session of boogie for wii, only to be awoken by a familiar yet distant sound... i perked up and realized that the sound was none other than "turkey's" moaning. i crept down the creaky stairs of my sh*itty apartments, the best my parents could "afford." step by step the passionate moans grew louder. under the moonlight, i could see the discarded and torn limbs and legs of the unfortunate critters. this was it. turkey's bedroom window. i peered in and felt my gut drop past my prepubescent testes. the hyperrealistic image will forever be burnt into my retinas. one by one, like soliders in formation, the bugs (which were supposed to be breakfast) escaped from captivity and crawled into turkey's twitching rectum. i ran as fast as i could back to my home as to avoid being spotted... after a night of tossin and turning, i had finally found repose for a brief moment, only to be awoken by my "loving" parents. they informed that turkey, poor turkey, was found dead in his bed with a lack of a head surrounded by hundreds if not thousands of bugs. the police (who I may not always agree with due to their prejudice towards non white americasn) said that the evidence they gathered shows that the bugs had layed countless eggs inside of turkey's body and the baby bugs had ate him alive from the inside out. my parents could see that i was shaken up by the news, almost as if i knew something that they didnt. it seems that the bugs had gotten their revenge......
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep