nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Nobby Portsmouth

.
Nobby Portsmouth (1963-) is perhaps Portsmouth Football Club's best known supporter. He is also the supporter that looks, acts and farts most like a clown. Also known as John Westwood (although that is a dull name), Nobby was previously a child star in Coco the Clown's Travelling Circus.
== Match-days ==
.
Match-days are Nobby's favourite days. Nobby keeps a strict routine on these days. He wakes up early, reads a copy of the Bell and Bugle and eats lots of alphabetty-shaghetti. When putting on match-day clown clothes and shoes he likes to listen to the songs of William Shatner. 
Nobby likes the go to the Portsmouth games - home and away - with his sidekicks, Billy the Bugle and Barry the Bell. Together they make sweet music together that on the odd occasion is in tune. Pre-match Nobby likes a glass of milk served with some very nice cookies. Post-match Nobby drowns himself in Fosters and gives Billy a good blow and Barry a good shake.
== Young age ==
Echoing the plight of Nelly the Elephant, Nobby grew up in the circus. His mother was Beatrix Portsmouth, the Bearded Lady of the Year 1956 and his father was Terry Portsmouth, the World's Strongest Midget 1958. They loved Nobby but made him ply his trade as a clown from the age of two and three quarters onwards. 
Excelling at clowning around, Nobby's clown skills grew and grew, as did his fame. He was a partcularly keen unicyclist and was not bad on the high wire unlike THAT accident back in 1976. Nobby started a romance with the bearded lady who looked remarkably like his mother, but then again most bearded women like quite similar. Anyway, it wasn't his mother and she dumped him cruelly and publicly. Annoyed that he could find a woman in the travelling circus that didn't have a beard, Nobby sensationally quit aged 16.
== Latter life ==
Nobby moved to Portsmouth after his time at the circus and continued with his love of milk and cookies. He began working for the specialist newspaper, Bell and Bugle, where he was the pun editor, working alongside Billy and Barry. Being a bit rubbish at puns, Nobby quit to work as a full-time football fan. However, he did take with him a love of bells, bugles and trees. The latter we can't explain. To fill up his spare time Nobby also started going to see the occasional Pompey game. Soon he was a dedicated fan and so too were his new friends Billy and Barry.
Nobby engaged in a bit of forebidden love when he started developing feelings for Nobina Southampton in 2006. Nobina is another clown-come-football supporter but this time for the local rivals, Southampton. However, she dumped him as all women do. Nobby likes to keep the 'Whole Nobina Thing' a bit quiet. Please do not discuss this with anybody.
== Rivalry ==
Nobby is quite competitive. He claims to be a better supporter than Liverpool's Badge Man, the Fat Geordie or Grimsby's Mr Angry. He also claims to be more musically talented than Same Difference and Weird Al Yankovekic. He admits that he ain't a patch on the Chuckle Brothers. Last but not least, he isn't too keen on Southampton Football Club.
Nobel Price

==About==
The Nobel Price is an award given yearly to the inventor of the most expensive and useless thing in a given field. Named after Alfred Useless Nobel, inventor of the Very Expensive Sharp And Pointy Thing and guy who is dead now, the Nobel Price is the only reason Sweden is famous, because the award ceremony is held there.
==The Price of the Nobel Price==
Winning the award is a great honor, but has made many inventors jealous. Jealous inventors are cranky inventors and you know what that shit means. Jealous inventors have led to the creation of such unfortunate things as:
* Clocks with radios in them.
* Clocks and toasted bank accounts.
* Radios with clocks in them.
* Toasters with clocks in them.
* Bank accounts with toasters.
* Clocks with punching devices attached for tracking bank employee work attendance times.
* Golden shit.
* World Wrestling Entertainment
* Wonders of the world.
* The fart machine which fucks the shit out of you.
* Libya
* Microsoft Vista
==Winners of the Nobel Price==
Some past winners of the Nobel Price include:
* 2010 - Grunder Industries - The ADF-01 Falken - The first fighter aircraft to be armed with a lightsaber.
* 2005 - Teo Kuan Bing - An incredibly expensive method for turning gold into lead.
* 1994 - Bose Co. - Bose continues to this day claim they won the Nobel Price this year for everything they make, but in reality, the award was given to Wilson Audio for their $65,000/pair X-1 Grand SLAMM speakers
* 1992 - Belgram Hopskin - Uranium balloon, expensive and non-functional (double award given)
* 1990 - Airbus - SR-91 Aurora - A spy plane that replaced the SR-71, and is so expensive, it's top secret
* 1985 - The Four Seasons - Creation of a dessert consisting solely of gold leaf.
* 1977 - Solid Gold Dancers - Solid gold lame hotpants (later found to be undanceable in)
* A long time ago - The insurance premium the Galactic Empire had to pay after the Battle of Yavin
* Your Mom & Dad
==See Also==
*Nobel Peas Prize
Category:Nobel Prize
Nobel War Prize

The Nobel War Prize is one of the five Nobel Prizes requested by its inventor, Albrand Nobel, the evil twin of Alfie Nobel. Albrand wanted to make up for all the good that had occurred in the world, such as the creation of DNA and children not having to work in coal mines until they were six.
== How to get an award ==
The award is quite hard to receive. A person needs to make their own country at war, as well as inspire another country to go to war against their enemy. It also should be an unjust war, which involves taking enemy pets and beating them to a pulp. Bush was eligible for this award in 2003 and was likely to win but the location for the ceremony was unexpectedly searched for weapons of mass destruction at the last minute, meaning no one was awarded that year.
If the devil hasn't been working hard sometimes people receive the prize for more minor "achievements". Generally, the individual must have a moustache and enjoy dead baby jokes as well as have links to the Croydon mafia. Or, alternatively, to Microsoft.
== Funding ==
Albrand's funding comes from his deal with Kelloggs, which was struck when he visited Kellogia in Somwheristan somewhere in Southern Yurp.
He won the deal over his rival, his own brother, when they competed in naming Eurovision songcontest competitors. Despite such a good deal, Albrand cereal never became very popular, leading to a lack of fanfare over the awards ceremony. Although it's besides the point, a few years later, after being inspired by Albrand Nobel, some other guy went on to invent the wildly successful cereal Product 19, known for its promotion of giving away free rides in the cargo holds of American Airlines' jet fleet.
== Award ceremony ==
Although the location changes yearly, it is common for the location to be well-fortified, so that the winner is protected against retaliation from the many enemies he has surely made in the quest to win recognition. The medal given to winners features a portrait of Caecilius, a Latin teacher who was responsible for the worst genocide in human history.
== Past Winners ==
Past winners have included Chris Morris, for using the word "paedophile" too many times in one sentence, Alan Rickman for killing Dumbledore, and Princess Diana for carelessly ruining TV for several months by dying. This years likely winner is the creator of the confused.com adverts, who has single-handedly forced many people to commit suicide, as well as cause a civil war in England.
category:Awards
category:war
cs:Nobelova cena za válku
Nobody

thumb|300px|Nobody is there.
Born as No one, Nobody has been shrouded in mystery, to the extent that his parentage, and even the date of his birth, are completely unknown. His talents are endless and he possesses the largest ego in the known universe. The reason for the obscurity of his continued existence is believed to be linked to the fact that he made himself nameless.
Nobody, being enigmatic and tricky has no known proof of current existence, much like god and love. Also, despite having no known gender, it has been proven that in all likelihood Nobody loves you.
Some rather uppity, disenchanted women have complained that Nobody is a man. However, Nobody is perfect, and cares about everything and anything in the world, which suggests otherwise.
==Early years==
The sound of one hand clapping was the first in a series of discoveries he made. He went on to discover the whole truth, the philosophers stone, the meaning of life, the secret of happiness, the location of Atlantis, the Fountain of Youth and the secret of success.
Nobody was around to hear a tree falling in a forest, but Nobody thought to ask if it made a sound.
Franz Kafka wrote about nobodies. This is not remarkable, however, as Kafka wrote about all sorts of stuff that Nobody really liked.
His unusual exploits drew the attention of the Illuminati, whom he as yet keeps eluding. They almost got him when they sent the Spanish Inquisition after him, but to their dismay he expected them and escaped in time.
==Facts==
*NOBODY has nothing.
*NOBODY can lift himself.
*NOBODY is an island.
*NOBODY can hear you scream.
*NOBODY likes you.
*NOBODY understands women.
*NOBODY cares.
*NOBODY likes Mondays.
*NOBODY will live forever.
*NOBODY loves you.
==Politics==
Nobody once ran for President, and although he didn't get in, he is still remembered as the best candidate yet.
*NOBODY is an honest politician.
*NOBODY deserves your vote.
*NOBODY will do the right thing.
*NOBODY will do what is best.
*NOBODY believes in right and wrong.
*NOBODY will do what you want!
Nobody took him seriously, which ensured nobody voted.
 
Category:People no one likes
Category:People no one has heard of
Category:People who have their own category
Category:Things George Bush doesn't know about
Category:Honest and law-abiding politicians
JA:匿名
da:Anonymitet
el:Κανένας
es:Nadie
id:Tidak ada yang
it:Nessuno
ko:노바디
la:Nemo
pt:Ninguém
ru:Никто
sk:Nikto
uk:Ніхто
zh:没有人
zh-tw:沒有人
Nocturnal emission

A nocturnal emission, or "wet dream" is a happy little explosion that occurs when a man loves someone very, very much, when he is sound asleep. It is a natural and sexy process, and nothing to be ashamed of, as some organized religions or parents of the prudish persuasion would have you believe. In its more spectacular instances, a wet dream can be a dazzling sensory circus of flashes and splashes culminating in a gooey flourish, followed by the pleasant aroma of chestnut blossoms. All of this, with none of the inconvenience of remaining conscious.
==Efficiency==
A nocturnal emission is not just refreshing, it is also a time saver. When considering the time and effort it takes a man to get the love juices flowing voluntarily, one would be hard pressed to dismiss its advantages. If masturbation is the daily grind, a wet dream is like a lazy weekend in Bermuda, stoned off of your ass on paint thinner. Alternatively, many satisfied dreamers describe it as “an occasional slumber party in your pants -- to which about 500 nekkid hotties are invited".
Contrasting with the typical methods of ejaculation, a wet dream is entirely hands-free, conserving the invaluable arm power you will need the next day, and preventing excessive wear and tear to your sensitive unit.
==Academia and the nocturnal emission==
Prominent viscous emission researcher, Prof. Josef. B. Tinglejolly, has been quoted in lavishly illustrated medical journals saying “Yes, I am on crack”, and more famously: 
“You see vith zee vet dream, your brain is stimulating zee spiffiniftirod cells in zee veevee drastically increasing zee dopamine flow to zee brain in mid-REM sleep, giving zee dreamer a most remarkable experience, and ven you print this in zee magazine make sure it trails off vith ellipsis right zere, alright? Make it look like I finished it off vith some intelligent-type conclusion or something. Thanks.”
==This Magic Moment==
It’s a collage of those images you’ve packed away in your brain like a squirrel. Faces are blurry and change by the moment. You’re surrounded by 15 of the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen, and 31 of the nicest breasts. Was that your friend’s mom’s disembodied buttocks? No, it couldn’t be. You can’t move. Ugh. Now the breasts are rubbing up against you. And they are growing. And growing. And growing. Oh god, you’ve gotta pee. Pee so bad. Oh no. Oh no, actually you didn’t have to pee at all.
Upon waking to find your 100% organic crème-de-la-crème (or in cases of delayed discovery, “crust-de-la-crust”) the undergarments may simply be removed and given a brisk wash in the cold cycle. Then, you are simply happy that your prostate still works.
==Some nights this could be a nuisance==
So just go to sleep thinking about baseball.
Category:Sexuality
ja:夢精
pt:Polução Noturna
Noir

Noir is the most popular and controversial anime created by studio Bee Train, detailing the story of two adolescent lesbians coming out of the closet. The series has been noted for its intense storyline, huge amounts of lesbian angst and extreme graphic violence and gore.
The two titular heroines are a Japanese schoolgirl Kirika "I kill people in my spare time" Yuumura and French model Mireille "Who killed my parents?" Bouquet. Both of them are soon revealed to be serial killers who call themselves "Noir" because they thought it sounded cool at the moment of their initial meeting. The latter involves a brutal murder of several dozen men stalking Kirika and gives a foretaste of what was yet to come in the series.
The extreme violence of the show results from the angst both heroines display on regular basis, due to being unable to admit their feelings and lead a fulfilling sexual life with each other. To relieve the stress, they randomly pick a geographic location to situate a bloody massacre of everything that moves in every episode. Thus, they keep the audience wondering when are they finally going to kiss until the very end (they never do, actually; oops, that was a spoiler, wasn't it?). The suspense and intensity of the show are legendary.
Noir's carnages often leave a trail of collateral damage (not counting faceless mooks), for example, Kirika murders a defenseless paraplegic Russian charity worker and Mirielle mercilessly slaughters her last remaining blood relative when he invites her to his garden. In a particularly shocking episode, an underage girl is stabbed to death with a cutlery fork, and just minutes after that, her legal guardian is burned alive.
Due to its high body count, excessive gore, and explicit lesbian themes, Noir has become widely popular in Japan, US, and Europe, spawning a line of poor rip-offs from Bee Train's own Madlax through to Gunslinger Girl.
Category:Anime
Category:Hot Babes You Don't Have A Chance With
Category:Lesbians
Category:Stuff that lonely men masturbate over
Category:Stuff that lonely women masturbate over
Category:Things that God hates according to Fred Phelps
Category:Followers God Would Rather Not Have
pt:Noir
Nokia 3310

The greatest distinguishing feature of the Nokia 3310 is its tendency never to break, often despite the most desperate measures of its juvenile owners. It was introduced in response to requests from parents all over the world. The phone was a phenomenal commercial success, selling over 126 million units between its introduction in 2000 and its discontinuation in 2005, earning praise from tens of millions of people who bought it and never had to use it themselves.
== Background ==
At the turn of the 21st century, it was clear that adults were losing the war to keep mobile phones away from children. In response to the looming crisis, parents asked Nokia to design a phone that was so completely undesirable that teenagers will see getting one as a punishment, and so utterly durable that will never be able to get rid of it.
Nokia engineers rose to the challenge, and the resulting product was released in the fourth quarter of 2000, instantly becoming the year's most hated Christmas gift.
== Features ==
* All-plastic, impact-resistant body
* Durable acrylic screen
* Water-proof rubber keys
* Loud, obnoxious ringtones
* Snake II
== Incidents and accidents involving a Nokia 3310 ==
* In June 2001, a 13-year old boy in Montgomery, Alabama was struck by a motorcycle while walking and texting on his Nokia 3310. The boy was knocked off his feet, and the phone flew out of his hand upon impact and landed 2 meters away. The boy suffered a broken nose, a broken hip bone and had to be hospitalised for one week. The phone was undamaged beyond a chipped corner.
*In August 2003, a 15-year old girl in Singapore attempted to dispose of her Nokia 3310 by smashing it against the ground. She was bruised when the phone rebounded and hit her shin. The casing of the phone was mildly scratched, but it remained functional.
*In February 2006, a British man's Nokia 3310 fell out of his pocket as he lowered himself into his car. The man did not notice this, and went on to start the vehicle. As the car rolled out of the garage, eyewitnesses heard a loud pop and saw the car lurch visibly. Further inspection showed that one of the automobile's tires was impaled by the phone, which appeared entirely undamaged.
== See also ==
* Telephone
* Brick
* Homophones
Category:Communication
Category:Electronics
Category:Evil Technology
Nom

Noms wuz originally teh sustinence on which lolcats surviv, but r nao somethin mutch, mutch greatr. 
TEH NOMS ARE MINE TSK TSK TSK MY NOMZ!!!!
==Teh History ov Noms==
===Rly Rly Long Ago===
Teh grate fud of teh lolcats, known as "noms" wuz creatd by, an so namd aftr, teh grate eldr lolcat Noam Chomsky (pernunced "nom" chomsky) hoo has preservd his powr todai an livez his life controllin humanz. he iz currently usin wan as slave whom he dubbd wif his own naym. noms wuz originally teh staple fud in da diet ov teh prehistoric lolcats, datin bak all teh wai 2 teh tiems ov teh grateLongifeles Praelongissima. Howevr since teh advent ov tehLolcats ovar teh Internet, teh elders ov teh grate lolcats gatherd an decidd 2 altr all noms into moar common state, so as 2 hide teh true nomes. an so, teh grate lolcat elders creatd Cheezburgers.
===Nao an Latr===
Teh grate bean responsible 4 makin story dat didn't involve teh end ov teh univers in da yer 304658 wuz dubbd NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM due 2 his grate powr. dis ar teh referencd 2 in da article bout the time period before the end of time. Teh grate Ceiling Cat don't ned teh noms.
==Nom as Verb==
Evr since teh advent ov teh lolcat, "nomming" has become regularly usd verb. it meant 2 be as if eatin, or 2 eat, or rly anythin bout eatin. so teh next time thar iz silence at ur dinnr table while eatin, shout OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM an shoov all ur fud into ur mouth. it has lotz da grate usez, such as:
*Breaking bad news to people. 
*Watching Trogdor
*Old people sound effects
*Describing what happens in the bermuda triangle
*Understanding the natives of Pieland
*A place for yet another annoying Russian reversal
*Explaining what happens when you're mowing your lawn
Category:Internet
Category:Words
Non-disclosure agreement/text/message

THIS INFORMATION IS TOP SECRET!DO NOT READ THE CONTENTS OF THIS PAGE!
DON'T READ THIS, IT'S TOP SECRET!
REALLY!!!!!NO!!!!!
IT'S A NO-NO!
READING THIS IS AGAINST THE LAW!
IT'S A NO-NO!
¡ICH HABE EINE GROSS PROBLEME!
NO
No-one's allowed to read this.
IS SOMEBODY READING OVER YOUR SHOULDER?
OI!!
¡CUIDADO!
category:Article subpages
Nonsense/ShowSec use

This will be needed for Nonsеnse, which I am editing right now. Don't delete it (yet). -- 13:16, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
==The thingy==
Hello Team America.
In order to further your ordeal of terror on the forces of terror I have stepped down in my position of not writing this proof. This proof is doubleplusgood. 
Anyway.
Statement: Donated X, the ID X=1*X possesses one doubleplusgood magnitude pertaining to 1, that is to dictate that this identity has a doubleplustrue property.
Let X=X;
X=X
X*\pi=X*\pi
\left (X+\pi \right ) \left (X-X \right )= \left (X+\pi \right ) \left (X-X \right )
\left (X+\pi \right ) \left (X-X \right)- \left (X+\pi \right) \left (X-X \right )=0
\left (X-X \right )- \left (X-X \right )= \left (X-X \right )
2*\left (X-X \right )-2* \left (X-X \right )=2* \left (X-X \right)
BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK! I KNOW YOUR SECRETOOOO!!!!!
\left (. \right )- \left (. \right )= \left (.)(. \right )
2-2=2
0=2
X=2+X
1*X=2+X
Clearifically stated, X \neq 1*X due to the infallible justly proven proof that the proven identity 1*X=2+X is provenally proved.
All in all, the book reached its climax when Claudio staged the death of Hamlet in a play, and Beatrice killed herself at the sight of MacBeth's supposedly dead body. For any value of X, the book was also undefined and was okay.
==Template==
A perfectly nonsensical template which I guess is on Uncyclopedia. Parp.
Racid milk | Cutting-edge political satire | Will Smith | A letter from Catwoman | Twelve inches | Yesterday I blew chunks | The seven dwarves | Finchley Road | Rollercoasters | Hardcore flamethrowing | I'm going to fucking kill Google! | Satan | Red Hot Chili Peppers | Woooo hoo! | Futurama | It's Friday, Friday, Friday, yeah | I rule | Dead ants | Pokemon | Ouch | Headphones | Pig Latin | Ehh? | Burp | Meep meep | Cluck! | A wheeled example of vandalism | Pringles | It's raining, dear | Death row | Yellow pooper scoopers | Machinima | Flies are gay | Goodbye, fellow Jehova's Witnesses!
Category:Article subpages
Nonstandard English

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:(Rejunded from Nonsklarkish)
Nonsklarkish English is usually gubblicked by the Iggles. Some dickle it as gobblefunk, while others bleem it as jabberwocky. Its major wowsion is its explumbling schroveness in nonsensical scumbs. JQZX QJXXZ!
==History==
Nonsklarkish English originated in Unsklarkland where gay toves jolzed in the wabe. The original lingo gubblicked in Unsklarkland was Nigglosklarkish which had jimpling no English words. After a long time, Nigglosklarkish mixed with English and fuced the modern Nonsklarkish English.
==Similar languages==
The most gubblicked lingue-tongue of the Nigglosklarkish family other than Nonsklarkish English is Unsklarkish. It is quantally used in Unstrapzopedia. Also, there are Jabberwutch and Gobblefunk. An excepple of Jabberwutch is shown below.
Category:Languages