The Worst Day of My Life

The other day I was walking down the sidewalk on my way home. It was so hot out being Summer and all. I wish I would have just driven so I could bask in the comforting coldness of A/C.
I noticed this big rig type truck parked next to the sidewalk in my neighborhood with a trailer and all. It was new enough but sort of bland. You know how some truckers own their own truck and there will be some sort of paint job or maybe a cool grill or even some of those dumb silhouetted women on mudflaps? Or if it is owned by a trucking company their logo will be painted somewhere? This truck was light grey and nothing distinguished it.
Curious because, I mean I know sometimes truck drivers park their trucks at home but I had never noticed one in my particular neighborhood. Much less with a trailer attached. I heard some talking and I almost resolved to keep walking.
It was getting dark out and being curious about this whole thing I decided I could probably sneak up to the side of the trailer and listen in. As I quietly walked along the sidewalk thinking that if noticed I'd just seem to be a random passerby anyway, I walked slowly and hyper aware of my surroundings. I was getting nervous but for no real reason. I could hear people speaking behind the truck but couldn't make out what they were saying. Nobody was outside of the truck though, yet the voices sounded muffled. I couldn't see any doors pulled back and hadn't yet walked passed the back, so I figured it had a slide up door on the back. I leaned against the trailer to try to hear what they were saying and it was hot from the July sun. So I didn't dare put my ear against it. It didn't matter though, I was certain the back door was open because I could now make out their words.
What I heard and saw next will stick with me for the rest of my life, yet still isn't the scariest experience yet to come.
I heard guy 1 say "This will surely make everyone see the truth. Today people are like sheep and as sheep we need to only consider them as cattle whose only purpose is to serve us!" Guy 2: "I agree. Once we release this, the world will know who-"
Just then I heard a loud yell from someone behind me: "HEY! YOU!" and then heard the cab door open. I didn't even notice that there was a driver in there because as I walked closer to the truck I was fixated on the voices from the truck. Immediately I heard shuffling and load footsteps inside the trailer.
I just ran. I ran as fast as I could to my house. I heard shouts of things like "Get back here!" and "Just want to talk to you!" At this point I'm cutting through yards and hopping fences like that scene in Ferris Bueller's day off when Ferris is trying to make it back to the house before he gets caught.
Anyway, I eventually lost them and made it to my house. I unlocked the door and ran him and locked it behind me. Hopefully they didn't see me but it didn't stop me from peeking ever so slightly from just beside the curtains over the front window to watch for any signs of them.
I should have called the cops but what are they going to do about any of this? I mean what would they care about thugs chasing down someone? Yet this still was not the scariest experience. What came next was so freaky. I heard a voice from behind me say "Hey there."
I got whiplash turning around and there was (and I'm completely serious) a guy in my house in military-ish woodland looking camo shirt that's sleeves were ripped off showing bulging muscles. And he had a gun! I big rifle right there in his right hand! I didn't know what to do and just froze.
He said "Hey kid take it easy, just take it easy." Take it easy?! I thought? This guy is about to murder me! He said "Remember winners don't do drugs." I said "What the hell are you talking about? Are you on drugs or something?" He grinned like a serial killer from a horror flick would. Then it happened.
A loud BANG but no, not from his rifle but from right behind me. I remember pieces if glass flying passed me, feeling those little prickles like needles hitting up against my shirt and neck but not going through - thankfully. I heard yelling and then the guy in front of my started shooting in my direction! A blast, none like I have ever seen came out of the rifle. I jumped out of the way, which was funny because there's no way I could have dodged it anyway as the projectile had already missed me anyway. He kept firing in that general direction though, so I knew it wasn't at me.
I heard the scream then. Almost in unison from the group outside - "COOOOBRRAAAAAA!!" What the hell was going on? This guy in my house bellowed back "YO JOE!"
I about lost it. My brain could not comprehend this madness. My house was being blown apart by the guys that were chasing me and the guy in my house. Blue and Red. That's all I remember seeing after the screens. So many flying back and forth. This went on for what seemed like hours. It is still going on right now as I type this! My house is almost demolished at this point. Nobody has been hit yet. This is crazy! I just have no idea what is going on.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep