Banning Christmas

"The east midlands town Hoxheim has apparently fallen victim to the PC mob: they're banning Christmas! The Left is out of control! "-
Nigel Farage on GB News 4TH December 16:00 London, UK
"The woke mob are so awful. They have apparently succeeded in banning Christmas, in a English town, Hoxheim."
Alex Jones, on YouTube. 4th December 10:00 Austin Texas, USA.
"In the last several hours, the midlands became the location of a great prank in which right-wing cu...pundits.. across the globe went about telling audiences that the midlands town of Hoxheim had banned Christmas because of its socialist leadership." "First of all - there is no Hoxheim, anywhere in the UK, never-mind Leicestershire, Derbyshire, Lincolnshire, Northamptonshire, Nottinghamshire and Rutland. Hoxheim is absolute bollocks. The Title Hoxheim, is arguably a clue if you contemplate an 'a' is missing. Morons."
Presenter, East Midlands News. BBC1 4th December 18:30 London, UK''.''
An eerie cultural phenomenon which takes place in December each year. It usually appears on right-wing western news channels and in their printed and online counterparts.
This event which occurs each winter, might be false but its appearance and the attention perpetrated to it by grifters/bullshit merchants journalists and media personalities, has led to a supernatural, sentient life-form coming into temporary existence across the British lands, blighting the pubs and bars, being deadly kith and kin to the human subspecies entity, the pub bore.
===They're Banning Christmas ! The mudda fudding EPIC LEEL Irony of the Complainants===
Typically, individuals in the media who complain about the Left/Liberals/Socialists/Woke Mob/PC Mob banning Christmas, are not persons who you would associate with Christianity or the good nature of Christmas, due to their stance on immigration and aiding refugees, helping the poor and vulnerable etc. etc. 
These people will make certain to be photographed posing on social media celebrating Christmas yet would not aid Mary and Joseph in their plight. 
The sad fucks acts would decline Mary and Joseph even the stables! 
However, these have got stuff to sell, and this is one con that does succeed to some extent each year, given its appeal to the Pub Bore. 
Unfortunately it has inadvertently lead to the creation of a sentient life form born from the ignorant bad vibes. 
Imagine if you will, a bunch of Satanists who bring into our dimension a demonic entity not by prayer by merely talking miserable rubbish and you are there. 
====GENESIS of BANNING CHRISTMAS.====
BANNING CHRISTMAS is an annoyed middle-aged white bloke wearing a Christmas themed woollen jumper with a faded pair jeans and poor condition NEXT boots who looks like they had too many pints and are blatantly angry at the world. 
Upon entering our plane of existence, he always takes his copy of the Sun Newspaper into the toilet and spends a hour there, leaving a mess which even XL Bully dogs wouldn't go near. 
The sight of their red face and agitated posture alone, makes you think that you have walked across an actor from this year's Eastenders festive special in which a London based family has engaged in the delightful drama of adultery/cannibalism/incest/drug abuse as well as theft and murder. 
=====BANNING CHRISTMAS, Typical Entity Behaviour and Short Term Existence.=====
Whilst coming into our reality from what appears to be a futuristic time portal as like the Terminator film series, BANNING CHRISTMAS has none of the T-800's personal endurance. They are miserable sods, continuously complaining about one thing or another, for example how PC the surrounding village, town or city is now; typically doing this in the first bar or pub they unfortunately come across. 
They will be observed to attempt to stir up blind hatred among persons whom they believe are peers but are them-selves tolerating BANNING CHRISTMAS, with their rants about Greta Thunberg, Climate Change, equality, immigration, people on benefits, how Jeremy Clarkson is a role model etc etc. 
However, whilst Pub Bores do bore people with their ignorance; BANNING CHRISTMAS entities will bore people to death, with their ignorance. 
Imagine if you can, the zombies from the classic 28 DAYS LATER, instead of attacking humans, turning them into depressed beings who don't value their own existence via perpetually spouted ignorance and lack of good will and praising figures like Nigel Farage. 
Nonetheless, BANNING CHRISTMAS will mysteriously self implode into nothingness if ignored. Yes you read that right. Self combustion. This is usually enabled by experienced bar/pub staff who know how to deal with Pub Bores, via training. 
Distraction is the primary technique which can quicken this, if you contemplate the supernatural entity and their ways: 
*British BANNING CHRISTMAS entities have been distracted by people giving them them issues of the Daily Mail to read and the Sun to look at.
*American BANNING CHRISTMAS entities have been likewise distracted by via Donald Trump or FOX NEWS associated books.
*Items featuring Piers Morgan or Jeremy Clarkson are generally a safe bet across the globe. If necessary sacrifice your mobile phone after making certain Twitter is focused on one of these prats.
In Britain, pub staff normally make certain to put the entity in the direction of these items as well as chuck packets of peanuts and pork scratchings at them in order to aid the progression of their self combustion. 
BANNING CHRISTMAS - Some precautions. 
* Do not leave GB News or Top Gear on the television in your workplace or home for a long time.
*Put up a festive decoration or religious icon. Garlic works well.
* If a person begins to concentrate on likes of Nigel Farage/Jeremy Clarkson/Richard Littlejohn/Douglas Murphy/ Rod Liddle/Andrew Tate and give the creep(s) applause in conversation; change the discussion quickly so that the person is either distracted or walks away. Talking about donating to a charity, for instance RNLI, is one subject you could refer to. 
* The primitive method of telling spoilsports of where to go (ala "shut the ---- up! Its Christmas, for pete's sake!") only works on occasion.
category:Christmascategory:Conspiracies