nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Attack Helicopter

"I sexually identify as an attack helicopter"
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage*
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora*
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat*
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Shortpasta
Attack of The Anus Men

Okay guys, I gots a really good story. This one time I was at the store and I was buying a frozen chicken, and when I was leaving the store, a guy threw a football at me, so I turned around and threw the frozen chicken at him and it hit him in the head and he fell to the ground and he died. Hahahhahahahah soisoisoisoisoisoi. When I left the store a giant anus was shooting things with its poop gun and I got hit with the poop gun and I died, and when I got to Heaven, Jesus was all like "The Anus Men from Uranus are attacking Earth and the only way to stop them is by throwing a frozen chicken at the Mother Anus." And I was all like are you going to help me, and he was all like, "No way man, you're on your own." And he pushed me off the clouds and I fell back to Earth.
When I woke back up I was lying in the parking lot and the Mother Anus was hovering above shooting things with its poop gun, so I ran into the store and grabbed a frozen chicken, and I turned around and three Anus Men were standing there with their mini poop guns in-hand, so I threw the frozen chicken at them and it hit one of them and he fell to the ground and died, but then one of them shot me with the mini poop gun and I got hit with the poop gun and I died, and when I got back to Heaven, Jesus was all like "What the Hell man? You were supposed to destroy the Mother Anus. Go back and do it right." And he kicked me in the balls and I fell off the clouds and back to Earth.
When I woke up, I was on the floor of the grocery store, so I got up and grabbed another frozen chicken and I left the store and threw the frozen chicken at the Mother Anus, but it came back down and crushed my skull and I fell down and I died, and when I got back to Heaven, Jesus was all like, "Seriously dude. You suck at this." And he shot me in the head and I fell down and I died, and I went to Super Heaven and Super Jesus was all like, "What the fuck are you doing here?" And he chased me off the clouds with a bulldozer and I fell back to Heaven and Jesus scrapped me up with a shovel and dumped me over the edge and I fell back to Earth.
When I got back to Earth I picked up the frozen chicken again and I went to the roof of the store and I threw the frozen chicken at the Mother Anus, but it missed and instead came down and smashed a car windshield and a guy came up to me and was all like, "What the fuck did you do that for?" And he pushed me off the building and I fell down to the ground and I died and when I went to Heaven, Jesus was all like, "Forget it. I'm sending you to Hell." And he poked me in the ass with a pitchfork and I fell down to Hell and Satan was all like, "Welcome to Hell. We have Bingo Night tonight." And I was all like I love bingo and he was all like, "Well then, you'll love it here." And I stayed in Hell for all eternity. The End.
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Im died
Category:Overused Running Gag
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Trollpasta
Attack of The Pirate Monkeys From Space

Once I was with my best friends, and we were having a great time playing a vuideo games together, when I notice out of the corner of my eye a mysterious figure in the kitchen holding a DVD in it's hand. When I got to the kitchen, we saw that there was no more mysterious figure, just the DVD. So we decided to watch whatever was on the DVD. But there was also a note. It said:
"Dear friend, this DVD must be destroyed immediately. Your our only hop. Love, Billy."
I didn't know anyone named Billy for at least 2 weeks, so I ingord everything he said and we plugged the DVD into the toaster. What we saw we horrible. There was a 3 men in a picture all ded with their entrails coming out of their tummy, and they're eyeballs were gone. It was pretty hyper-realistic if yiou ass me. It was so beautiful I creamed myself. In disgust, I took off my sticky shorts and threw them in my friends face. Completely naked from waste down, I looked at the back of the note.
In comic sans it read, 'I'M CUMING. - EVIL PATRIXXX"
But they aleready came. Teh pirate nomkeys from space. They stuffed my anus until it was bigger then my face. To this day, I still cry when thinking about it. The end.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:Animulz
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
Attack of the Bangtard Boys

One day when I was at Walmart to take pictures of the weird people that shop there and put it on my blog for research purposes, a strange cloud appeared in the sky. Everyone ran out of the supermarket, and the grossest thing I've ever seen was when a naked fat man ran with diarrhea running down his hairy ass. While I was running, I slipped on the liquid shit, and fell down. Being covered with leaking, brown feces, I ran out of Walmart to see an army of young girls from around 13-16 years old who marched towards the town. I could see one of those girls holding a giant flag with "BTS" on it, and I had no choice but to run away.
I tried to summon the famous Creepypasta characters EVIL PATRIXXX, Jeff the Killer, Laughing Jack, Sonic.exe and others via a magic circle by chanting nonsensical words in Latin. The characters then came out of the magic circle, and they began fusing together, forming the greatest cliché Creepypasta character to ever exist, the EVIL GO TO SLEEP HYPERREALISTIC CLICHÉ CREEPYPASTA CHARACTER.exe.avi. The cliché fusion then began attacking the ARMYs by shooting a hyper-realistic blood laser gun at one of those girls. After finishing killing the entire army, the real BTS began appearing from nowhere, with their arms crossed and death stare.
It was them, the seven deadly sins. It was BTS. The Bangtard Boys. Everyone was afraid, even one eight year old kid shat himself and got asthma when he saw the faces of those bastards. Death Monster, Chin, J-Hell, Suka, Vagina, Junk-Cock and Killim. The fused Creepypasta monster didn't do anything, and due to how fucking sexy those members looked, it up fused to the normal characters, except for Jeffrey, who unfortunately died due to a terrible case of the Black Plague.
It took a long time until the BTS decided to destroy world, and everyone panicked. I could feel the ground crumbling into a millions of pieces while Death Monster and his teammates summoned a giant, magical chainsaw to saw the entire earth. When I woke up, I realised that fell to the Underground, where I encountered a talking flower named "Flowey". He said to me that "in this world, it's KILL or BE KILLED". I noticed that the fat guy from Walmart was Sans, and he had a glowing right eye. It turned out that I was in the world of... Undertale!?!?
Category:NSFW
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Loads of Characters
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Attack of the Dawn of the Rise of the Revenge of the Planet of The Creepypasta

It happened literally a minute ago as I'm writing this. This is probably going to cause some problems with the overall timeline of the story, but I don't care to check over it, so just don't think about it. Also, yeah, this is 100% real. The spooky spaghetti will tickle your feet while you sleep >:3. So my story starts when my dad made me a big plate of spaghetti. Being my favorite food, I scarfed it down as fast as I could. After that I got four more plates. But then my dad called me to lecture me about eating too much Spaghetti, so I walked over to him. While I was gone my cat knocked my plates of spaghetti into the vat of toxic waste that I always have lying next to my kitchen table. I came back crying after my dad told me to stop eating spaghetti, only to find my cat dead with his belly cut open and blood pouring off the table, but now that I think about it, it was probably marinara. I went to my cat and cried. We had a formal funeral for her the same day, and president Donald Trump came as well. My cat meant everything to me, and now she was gone. I missed by cat. I needed my cat back. I was so emotionally connected to this character. You should be too despite them never being mentioned until they died. Feel something, I beg of you. After I came home, a lust for revenge coursed through my veins. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. I stabbed my father five times in the neck. He was deader than the Spaghet meme, I tell ya. I killed my mother next, than my brother, than my XBOX. I killed everything in my house. The weird part was there was no blood, just marinara. The only time it made sense was when it came out of my XBOX, which I frequently shove spaghetti into. Then it happened, a monster made out of Spaghetti came out from under my couch. He hit me in the face with boxing gloves like five times. Then he three away his boxing gloves and slapped me. I screamed, 'Why daddy, WHY!?" He didn't listen, only hit me, but then I grabbed my katana and stabbed it right in its meat-a-ball. He didn't seem to be hurt. Instead he threw my lego collection at me. I cried. My lego's meant everything to me. He then ripped off my arm, and marinara poured out. I told him off for ripping off my arm, which was very rude. But all he did was attempt to strangle me. Then I remembered, I had bought a haunted sonic game from a man at the black market. I turned on my husk of an XBOX that had the game inside. A Sonic with red glowing eyes came out of the TV and ripped the Creepypasta in half. He then attempted to murder me, but I shot him in the face with my nerf gun, killing him. Then the police stormed my house and arrested me for killing my entire family. I;m writing this from jail, because apparently prison inmates are given computers. Isn't that interesting? Ok, buh bye, I'm gonna go make a website called Creepypasta.com.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:EVIL FOOD
Category:Sonic
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Satire
Category:The Title Is A Lie
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Category:BATTELS
Attack of the Gimmick Bands

I was walking home from work late one night when I heard a voice call to me from the shadows:
"You in the wrong neighborhood, boy."
I turned and saw Slipknot exit a nearby alley.
"S-Sorry," I said. "I'll be on my way."
"Too late for that," Spiked Head Man said as he tried to head butt me with the spikes on his head. I sidestepped his attack only to find his bandmate, Long Nose Man, trying to stick his long nose where it didn't belong.
Frightened for my life, I ran into a nearby church. Inside, I saw a familiar silhouette standing at the pulpit. "It's the Pope!" I cried. "He'll save me!" But when he turned around, I realized it wasn't the Pope. It was Spooky Skeleton Face from Ghost. His bandmates appeared from nowhere and attempted to wrestle me to the ground. At some point, their devil masks fell off revealing them to be the original members of Kiss. I suddenly felt pretty brave because they're old, so I figured I could probably take them in a fight. That's when Gene Simmons breathed flames and set my head on fire.
At that point, I figured I was done for. Not only did I flee the church looking like Michael Jackson on the set of a Pepsi commercial, but I was being pursued by a bunch of psychotic musicians. Alice Cooper had joined the chase, as well as Mushroomhead. To this day, I have no idea why they were after me, but one thing was for certain: they were not going to stop until I was dead.
Just then, someone blasted me with a fire extinguisher. It was one of the dudes from GWAR.
"B-But why would you help me!" I stammered. "You're one of them!"
He shook his head. "We are but chemo to their cancer."
And with that, GWAR met the other musicians in all out war. The battle sounded pretty intense as I made my escape, something like a heavy metal battle royal. I wish I could give you more details, but I ran home and hid under my bed like a little bitch.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
Attack of the Italian breadsticks!

One day, I was pumping sperm into norweigen hookers until a limosine drove by. My friend, who was pumping mexican hookers screamed. He said, "Hey man dat limo stopped for us!" When the chauffer stepped out of the limosine, he whipped out his four foot long dick. My friend thought his dick was so amazing, he grobbled on his knees and was trying to suck it. Now naturally I was disgusted, so I shot my fucking friend in the face. I squatted down at his corpse and I said "Take that cheeseball." Then I ripped out his still beating heart and ate it. I pointed my finger at the chauffer and whippedout my six foot long penis. Soon the chauffer was getting desperate, so he made his dick erect. The dick was 88 feet long. "Pfffffft" I scoffed. I erected my penis and it was 4,000,000,000 miles long. His jaw dropped to the pavement. I punched his face so hard that his skull exploded. And that's why they name me bitchin the impaler.
But enough bragging about my amazingness let's get to the story. I love italian food. My favorite part of italian restaurants is when I'm finished, because italian food tastes like shit, but my second favorite part of italian food was the breadsticks. Mmmmm the breadsticks. Whenever I munched on one of them I swear that I hear a little squeal. And a little hyper realistic blood comes out.
ANY fucking way today was halloween and it was scaaaary and spoooky. During halloween though, the trick or treaters always give ME their fucking candy. If one kid in my neighborhood doesn't show up in front of my house I would go batshit crazy and I would begin a massacre. I can kill children in over 375,000,000 different ways and that's only with my bare hands. This halloween, only one kid was missing, Charles. "FUCKING CHARLES" I screamed! I began to get my kamehameha ready to blast the kids away until one kid ran up to me and handed me a giant breadstick. I stopped charging my kamehameha and I examined it.
It was like nothing i've ever seen before I cried and sang "My Friends" from Sweeney Todd and I kicked the kid so hard that her organs went out like splat. "NOW GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN YOU FUCKERS!!!!!!1111" They all ran away, "Pussies I muttered." I jerked off for a while until I decided to eat the breadstick. Until suddenly, It turned into a giant monster and it began smashing the city.
"OH SHIT!" I yelled in panic. Then the italian breadstick summoned an army of bread sticks and smashed everything in the world until it became a desert planet. Many fighters tried to take the bread sticks down, and failed. Now with my incredible awesomeness powers I can beat the shit out of these fuckers.
I ran up to a breadstick and punched it in the nose, literally obliterating it. I continuosly did this until I was with the leader of the breadsticks. "THIS ENDS NOW!" I took out a chainsaw and went inside of him. Then I killed him from the inside.
I now live alone on this planet, masturbating and eating breadsticks.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:EVIL FOOD
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Rocks Fall, Everybody Dies
Attack of the KILLER WHALE

So yea I was heading into New Hampshire when a bunch of buffalo began raiding the place, killing people and climbing buildings and shit, then I said "I ain't got time for this shit" and walked into Taco Deli.
That's when I met him. It was a big masculine duckling holding a giant Australian toffee maker. It was the most beautiful shit you could've ever seen.
Then a collection of turtles walked in and we had a nice conversation about how much the world doesn't actually suck that much, and one of the turtles actually turned out to be BEN in disguise, and he grabbed my neck and threw me across the table which made me mad and have to horribly destroy BEN.
I then wore his insides on my body and ran around like a fuckin' idiot. The sight of this made the buffaloes look at me in disgust and disappointment, and they calmly walked outta' the stratosphere.
Then all of a sudden I got bored and flew to Pluto. my head froze off and I fucking died.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Animulz
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:The Title Is A Lie
Category:Excessive Profanity
Category:Zel-DUUHHH
Category:Im died
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
Attack of the Killer Potatoes

It was a very rainy day, I was washing my kitchen sink with lobster oil when a potato rolled towards me. It was REALLY damn scary, I shat my pants and ran outside. I started yelling "THE POTATOES ARE COMING" while running at about 60 miles per hour, everyone looked at me saying "wtf", and eventually the police arrived. They tried to kill me but they didn't because I gave them kicks in the chins and a groin chop, which killed them all instantly. Standing in the ocean of blood I heard the sound of more police sirens and dashed off.
I was running through the amazon forest when I came across a big river, I decided to jump in it and hope that it would wash me to safety, but instead it washed me out into the ocean. I almost died, but I was able to reach an island before I drowned. I climbed on the island.
I was on the island for 48 days, surviving only on coconuts and pineapples, when I finished the rescue raft that I was working on and decided to swim home. I was on the raft for about 4 hours until I heard something rolling behind me, it was the potato! The potato sacked me in the nuts, my blood pouring out from my crotch into the sea immensely. I suddenly saw lots of shadows below the water, circling around me as I sat desperately with pain the size of a titan. The shadows rose, and they turned out to be gigantic potatoes ready mash, bash, and trash me into my doom. The potato that nut-sacked me said one final word before I died...
"GO TO POTATO!!!!!!"
Category:Trollpasta
Category:EVIL FOOD
Category:That just raises more questions!
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:BATTELS
Category:Im died
Category:Shortpasta
Attack of the Teletubbies

It was a beautiful night, in the suburbs of Detroit. The houses were on fire (on the inside), and there was violence everywhere. Everyone was doing drugs; drugs are bad, m'kay?
Well, as the terror, and drug/alcohol consumption continued. The sun came up. It wasn't no ordinary sun, either. It was the baby sun, from the Teletubbies. It screamed, with a vengeance, "OI U CHEEKY CUNTS! U WANNA WRECK SHIT UP! I'LL WRECK YOUR SHIT UP!" Then, out of nowhere, a house exploded. It wasn't just some random occurrence, either. It was Tinky Winky, with a bazooka. These teletubbies weren't cute and friendly. They were full on pissed. They seemed that they were ready to rip off someone's head off.
When the people that resided in Detroit, seen the Teletubbies come charging at them like a Rhino who was mad that he can't get a fruit for his long neck, they decided to get the fuck out of Detroit! But, they cannot run from the Teletubbies. Mario and Luigi, just out of nowhere, started dancing. Star Fox did a barrel roll. But, getting back to the story. The evil teletubbies were just fucking pissed. I mean, fuming. They started killing each other one by one, and ruining childhoods for little children everywhere.
They were fucking shit up, man. It was not a pretty sight. They were doing this shit all from dusk till dawn. When the cranky ass baby sun came down, they went home. The suburbs of Detroit were a much better condition now.
When the sun came back, John Lennon and George Harrison was resurrected back to life, and The Beatles were brought back together, and they started singing "Here Comes the Sun". Then, they started fucking up more shit; making Detroit a better place to live.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Excessive Profanity
Category:Shortpasta
Attack of the cheese

Do you know where cheese came from? What! Cheese don't come from cows... Cheese are monsters! They crawl out of your toilet and go into your fridge. That's not the worst part! They try to control your brain! As you eat them, they try to climb up to your brain. Luckily, they never get to reach your brain. But one day, they will get to your brain. And when they do weird things will happen. Justin Bieber will be the president of America. A skeleton will pop out. And much more! So never trust cheese. Not even the yummy kind.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:EVIL FOOD
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:Shortpasta
Attack of the cliche

YOU WAKE UP IN A DARK ROOM... YOU LEGS ARE MISSING... YOU ATTEMPT TO CRAWL TOWARDS THE DOOR... YOU HEAR A NOISE YOU ASSUME IT IS WHOMEVER CHOPPED OFF YOUR LEGS... YOU CRAWL TOWARDS THE NOISE ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT IT IS A PSP... THIS IS STRANGE BECAUSE NOBODY USES PSP ANYMORE... YOU SWITCH IT ON TO DISCOVER A GAME ALREADY LOADED... THIS GAME IS CALLED THE MISSING EPISOE OF FAMILY GUY... YOU BEGIN TO WATCH IT... IT STARTS OUT NORMALLY WITH THE INTRO BUT THEN IT CUTS TO THE ROOM YOU'RE CURRENTLY IN... THE VIDEO I OF YOU SITTING AND SCREAMING ABOUT HOW YOU HATE LEGS... THEN YOU RELIZE THAT THERE WAS NO BAD GUY YOU CUT OFF YOUR OWN LEGS... JUST BEFORE YOU DIE OF BLOODLOSS FROM THE MISSING LEGS YOU'VE NEGLECTED FOR THE LAST FIVE MINUETS YOU UTTER ONE LAST SENTENCE... "OMG I WAS PHONE"
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:ALL CAPS
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:WHO WAS PHONE?
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta