Lance A. Boyle

Lance A. Boyle is a fifteen year old male living in the state of Ohio, in the American mid-west. Lance is noteworthy because he has one of the most clinically advanced cases of acne known to modern medicine. 
It is thought that Lance Boyle's condition is the physiological manifestation of a particularly nasty case of puberty. As a result Lance Boyle endures the constant taunts of school mates and the nagging of family members, both of which have pushed him deep into BMX Bicycle racing, poetry and serious masturbation.
==Case History==
Boyle is the son of Redford (Red) Boyle and Cissy T. Pusskin-Boyle of Newark, Ohio. The Boyle's were elementary school sweethearts who married upon graduation from High School. In addition to their son Lance, the couple also have a daughter Clarise (age 17) and younger son, Sebastian (Seb, age 11). 
It should be noted that the eldest Boyle child did not experience a puberty period unlike that of normal girls her own age. 
Boyle was an average child, who developed in sync with others in his peer group. However, following a delayed onset of puberty (at age 13), young Boyle developed quickly as his body attempted to make up for lost time. As a result, his voice dropped three octaves in one month and he gained four inches in height in one six month period. In addition to this hastened growth, the boy began to emit odors commonly related to adolescent males at a rate higher than a normal male. However, it was his skin condition that alarmed his parents, school officials and some girls in his age bracket.
==Presentation of symptoms==
Like most other teens in his peer group, Lane Boyle's skin condition is a manifestation of his body's changes due to hormonal imbalance. And like other male youths, his homeostasis is effect by normal bodily secretions on the skin. However external factors (food and steriods being primary) apparently has a profound impact on the youths body, particularly his face.
After dining on a steady teenage diet of tacos, pizza, popcorn, soda and candy, Boyle's face is apt to become a minefield of sebaceous bombs likely to go off at any moment. The profile of one pimple produced an amazing quart of mildly yellow, milky warm pus after being squeezed prior to the day on which he would have junior high school picture taken. 
The parents, Red and Cissy Boyle, have made numerous trips to the doctors office to have the cyst like pimples drained, leaving the young man with a skin texture akin to that of ”Disney's animated version of the moon” according to his sister.
==How the subject deals with his trauma==
Lance Boyle, like any other teenage male, finds outlets to deal with his physical state. Because no girl (or boy for that matter) will date him, he busies himself with handicrafts, BMX racing (the helmet helps to hide his condition) and with World of Warcraft online games.
== Prognosis==
Lance A. Boyle should outgrow his current condition when his puberty ends, sometime after his 18th birthday. However in this case it is quite possible that Boyle's pustules will continue to be a bother to himself and general public, given the weeping and dripping discharge and the scabs that follow and then drop to the ground. In this case, young master Boyle's adult life will be one of limited opportunity, and constant social embarrassment.
==See also== 
* Susan Boyle
* High School
* Teenagers
Category:American children
Category:Ohio
Category:Caucasian Dermatology
Category:Biographies of Ridiculous Persons
Category:Things that may be out to get you
Category:Very unattractive people