The anti-toppler league

Sally Acorn took her place at the head of the table. Next to her, Laughing Jack sat with an angry look in his eyes, and his weird nose was missing. They had been here from the very start of the league, after they both had been defeated in battle by one of the most powerful entities on earth.... Johnathon Topples, known by all as "The Toppler", for being able to topple mountains with his rippling biceps. He was only 14, but he couldn't be killed or harmed.
They had spent the past few months looking for other members, and had been very successful. Their first recruit had been Clockwork, who sat next to Sally and was rubbing anti-bacterial lotion on her lips to stop them getting infected. She met the Toppler when she was in hell, trying to retrieve her destroyed stuffed giraffe, only to meet the Toppler, who was there on holiday, getting a tan. At the end of the encounter, the giraffe had gone off to live with the Toppler.
To Jack's left sat everyone's least favorite member of the group, the Majour Complex Carnage Programme, better known as MCCP. She had tried to kill the Toppler one night, but only succeeded in escaping from him with her chainsaw half destroyed. She was currently trying to repair it with duct tape, but Jack kept disrupting her. Everyone in the universe agreed it was best that she was out of action for as long as possible.
They also had taken on the Toppler's ex-janitor, who had had to leave his job at the high school after watching an evil episode of "Wheel of Fortune" and going insane. He hadn't fought the Toppler, though; the league had broken into the mental asylum he was in for LOLZ, and he had managed to tag along with them. When they had found him, they had kept him around for info on the Toppler, but all he really did was make fart noises in the middle of the budget report, which was always given by the next member, Big Jane Lebowski, alias Jane the Killer. While she was good with money, her childish personality meant that she challenged MCCP for the position of most hated member of the league. This was also caused by her constant bickering with another member, Jeff the Killer. They had, in fact, joined the league at the same time, as they had both shown up to murder the Toppler, only to start arguing about who was going to kill him before promptly having their asses kicked simultaneously by him.
Opposite Jeff sat the infamous Tails Doll, who was having an argument with MCCP about who had the best chainsaw (It was obviously Tails Doll, because his didn't have a panda sticker on it).
Lastly, there were Thomas Simple and Valory, Valory Hudson. Valory sat there in a trench coat and fedora, while Thomas sat wearing a pair of jeans. No shirt or anything, because Valory liked looking at his biceps. Thomas was the brains of the league, at least according to Valory, for, as she put it, "he answers question when called on him". Jeff didn't like Thomas very much, because he liked Valory, but he was dating her. Clockwork also disliked Valory and Thomas, for she didn't exactly trust them.
"Alright, you brainless goons, let's start the meeting!" yelled Sally. Tails Doll and MCCP stopped bickering, as did Jane and Jeff. Sally and Laughing Jack stood up. "Is everyone here?" continued Sally. Most of the members shrugged their shoulders, aside from MCCP who was still messing around with the Duct Tape.
"Alright,then," said Jack. "Anyone who isn't here, raise their hands!"
Nothing happened.
"Excellent. Well, let's start with any announcements. Jack?" said Sally.
"Thanks, Sally," said Jack. "I'm pleased to announce we have a new member... though I'm less pleased about who this new member is."
Sharon, the laughing Jack fangirl walked in. She was now a zombie for no reason, and still had Jack's nose embedded in her chest. Jack reached out, grabbed his nose out of Sharon and started taping it back on using MCCP' s duct tape.
"Hey!" shouted Sharon. "I was gonna hang that on my wall!"
"You can't just go round doing that!" snapped Jack. "It's my nose, not a Kiss poster!"
"Next," continued Sally, "the budget report."
Jane stood up.
"I am pleased to report that we-" she said, before being interrupted by someone making fart sounds
parp*
"-have saved enough money to afford to go on our expedition to-"
parp*
"Ok, time out! Who's doing that?"
Clockwork hid a bowl of baked that she was eating, but luckily everyone's eyes had turned to the janitor.
"Dammit, janitor!" yelled the Tails Doll in frustration. He was getting sick of this.
"You really need to find some way to stop this," said Thomas, and everyone nodded in agreement.
"I've got an idea," said Jeff, and before anyone could ask what the idea was, a knife was embedded in the janitor's chest.
"Jeff, you need to stop fixing all your problems by stabbing them, it's gonna get you in trouble with the cops one of these days," said Valory calmly.
"Yeah, if you're gonna murder anyone, kill MCCP," joked Tails Doll. MCCP tried to kill him with her chainsaw, but she realized that it was busted. She mumbled something about doing it later.
"Well," continued Jane, "as I was saying, we have enough for 2 of us to go on the expedition to Japan to recruit our next member. Who volunteers?"
Tails doll and clockwork raised their hands.
"Excellent," said Jane, "I'll book everything after the meeting." She sat down, and Jeff stood up to give his report on the group's current operation.
"Operation Chuck E. Cheese is working tremendously successfully!" he said with a grin. "The Toppler and Bootman Bill have received the 2 coupons, and I am told that they are about to head off!"
Thomas and Valory exchanged a worried look, as the Tails Doll started to carve up the janitor's body so that they could dispose of it later.
"Nice one, Jeff," said Sally. "Anything else to bring up?"
Silence.
"Well, in that case, meeting adjourned!"
"Of course, you are welcome to stay for coffee and cake," said Jack.
"No thanks," replied Thomas.
"Yeah, we'll just be going now," said Valory nervousy before speeding off out the door with Thomas. They started to run towards the Toppler's house, because, you see, Clockwork was right not to trust them. They were, in fact, spies for the Toppler (Bootman Bill, who was the Toppler's best friend, had cooked up the idea).
They arrived back at the Toppler's house within minutes, and knocked on the door. There was no answer. They spied the Toppler's neighbour, Tyler Bounds, and asked him where the Toppler was.
"Johnny?" asked Tyler. "He went out to Chuck E. Cheese with Bootman Bill 20 minutes ago!"
"Oh no!" cried Valory.
Meanwhile, at the Chuck E. Cheese, the Toppler was tucking into his pizza. He was so invested in eating it that he didn't notice the banging coming from a nearby 'Staff Only' door...
To be continued in, "The Toppler vs. The Real Chuck E. Cheese."
Category:Loads of Characters
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Trollpasta