nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
ZaSu Pitts

----
Ode to ZaSu Pitts
With Apologies to Keats
By Oscar Wilde
THOU art unravish'd, O' Bride of Frankenstein, 
Thou poster-child of Silent film and jerky fits, 
Sylvia Plath, who canst thus express 
A flowery tale more sweetly than our own ZaSu Pitts! 
What story line haunts about thy shape
Of Mary Pickford, Lucille LaSeur, or of Thelma Todd?
In Tempe or the thighs that chaffe- 
What men or gods are these? What maidens promenade? 
What mad pursuit? What Keystone Cops to escape?
What pipes and timbrels? What wild bootleg hooch?
Spoken words are sweet, but those unheard
Are meatier; therefore, ye lofty organs play on;
Not to the well trained ear, more implied,
Pipe to the spirit ditties of Franchot Tone: 
Fair to midland, beneath the trees, thou could but choseth not to leave
Thy song, nor ever can those trees be bare;
Bold Lover, never, never canst thou kiss,
What say this poet it no makes sense;
But Zasu cannot fade, though thou hast not thy bliss,
For ever wilt thou love, and be my comupence!
Oh Doris Day! Oh Joel Crea;
Starcrossed lovers true
Both in Love on Moonlight Bay! 
You kept their house and about it toiled
A maid was made of you.
But when the starring credits rolled,
Your name appeared in text so small
That few knew you, my sad ZaSu!
Who are these coming to the sacrifice?
L. B. Mayer and Selznick, too;
A Priest as well, do not be a fool.
The skys were the limit and once were so blue,
And at the Oscars Judy Garland was the best dressed.
But Tinseltown still calls for you, your wit!
For new, less important roles,
Abbott and Costello they need you now
Oh where o' where is good old ZaSu Pitts!
O what a shape! and in the nude! with brede 
Of rippling men and Pitts overwrought,
With forest branches and the smoking weed;
Thou, classic star! How you tease me all for naught
An eternity: Cold Fishwife!
When old age shall this generation forget,
Thou shalt remain, in the cinema their is eternal life
But for both of us, a friendship to one day renew 
If Beauty is truth and truth is beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know of our dear old friend, ZaSu!
Category:American actresses
Category:Boobage
Category:De facto rulers of the world
Category:Documents
Category:Goddesses
Category:History of Uncyclopedia
Category:Magical Girls
Category:Oscar Wildeizms
Category:Sexy People
Category:Vaudeville performers
Zahi Hawass

Dr. Zahi Hawass (Arabic: زاهي حواس ) (born Damietta, Ægyptüs, on 28 May 1947) is one of the world's foremost Ægyptüsiologists and, in recent years, has gained international renown in non-archaeological circles by promoting world domination through his frequent appearances on boring documentaries on ancient Ægyptüs.
== Dr. Hawass as Dictator of the World ==
Hawass is well on the way to become dictator of the world. He is currently the Secretary General of the Ægyptüsian Supreme Council of Antiquities; prior to that, he was the Director of the Giza Plateau and has also worked at archaeological sites in the Nile Delta, the Western Desert, and the Upper Nile Valley. anyway white people are waste of atoms
Hawass is currently using his awe-inspiring power to coerce international museums to return archaelogical items originally from Ægyptüs to his Cairo Museum so he may use them for his own nefarious purposes. In July 2003, he demanded that the United Kingdom unilaterally disarm and give back the Rosetta stone or face an Ægyptüsian invasion. The British, always acting wisely, instantly returned it, knowing the fury of Hawass's wrath which they would face if they did not promptly execute his order. Quoth he "If the British want to be remembered, if they want to restore their reputation, they should volunteer to return the stone because it is the icon of our Ægyptüsian identity. If not, Britain will face a rain of hellfire which shall surely mean her doom."
== Ancient Astronauts, you say? ==
He is also a vocal supporter of the theory that ancient astronauts and a previous worldwide civilization built the pyramids and are responsible for anything good that ever happened in Egypt. If you look around at the greasy little Ægyptüsians these days, living of their own feces and terrorist subsidies from Islamic Jihad and Hamas, you have to agree with him. This is what makes his theory highly controversial.
== Dr. Hawass on Television ==
He appeared on a UK Hitler Channel show to promote his theories, and provided evidence to show that it was not Ægyptüsians, but Egyptians (a little-known breed of Anunnaki) who built the pyramids, as noted scientists and Intelligent Design advocates Fred Phelps and Pat Robertson argued in their best-seller The Pyramids' Evolutionist Jew Conspiracy Cover-Up: How them Pyramids Got Built by them Egyptian Folks (Not No Hebrews) and Why them Fag Darwinist Jews Ain't Fixin' To Tell You How.
The book was banned NOT BANNED by Chinese Communist people who did DIDN'T censor it.
== Dr Hawass and the I'm-going-to-prove-there's-something-down-there-under-the-Sphinx-and-then-dismiss-it-as-crap Project ==
Of course, Dr Hawass is well known for his famous quote, "No! zerr is nussing down zerr! I no ze ray-dahr sez zerr iz an holl undernees ze Sfincks, but it DUZ NOT EGG-ZIST!", after he learned of new progress on his project involving finding whatever may lie beneath the Sphinx - a project he himself commissioned, and he himself is dismissing as rubbish.
Category:Egypt
hu:Zahi Hawass
it:Zahi Hawass
pl:Zahi Hawass
Zen Mukbang

Zen Mukbang (Corean: 선종먹방) is the heterodox practice of *SLUUUURRRPP* gaining enlightenment through the practice of realizing that the *SIP SIP SIP* food that nourishes and body that consumes it is ultimately *MMMM OH THAT'S GOOD* impermanent and that the *BURP* cycle of life and death *EXHALES DEEPLY* is like the act of consuming food. *CHEWS LOUDLY* The ultimate goal of Zen Mukbang is to become aware of the present moment *OM NOM NOM MANI PADME HUMM* and to appreciate the simplicity of a bowl of rice *SWALLOWS AUDIBLY* in a clash of tranquility and gluttony. *BIG GULP* It's like the sound of one hand clapping but with your face full of noodles.*GNASHING OF TEETH* 
== Obscure Origins ==
The true origins of Zen Mukbang are shrouded in mystery, but some scholars speculate that it was a result of a miscommunication during a Zen meditation retreat in Corea. According to legend, a group of monks were practicing their silent eating meditation when one of them accidentally let out a loud slurp, breaking the deafening silence. Rather than reprimanding the offender, the Zen master in charge simply exclaimed, "Ah, Zen Mukbang!" The rest of the monks, caught off-guard, decided to follow the example and began slurping their food with gusto. The practice quickly spread and gained popularity, eventually becoming a staple of Korean cuisine and internet culture. 
== Famous Zen Mukbangers ==
*Zen Master Roshi Windu
*Zen Adept Bartholemew Simpson
*Zen Moniker Tigby Dingbat
*Zen Tencents O.G. Tchree Fiddy
*Zen Mukbanger Raymond Noodles 
== When you are finished, ==
Wash your bowl. 
category:Religioncategory:Articles that make me hungry
Zeno's paradoxes

Zeno of Elea, (circa 490 BC – present), a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher, was the master of Paradox.
To this day, most of his Parodoxes remain unproven, except to a small subset of the population who think they have all the answers. 
==Achilles and the Tortoise Paradox==
Zeno's most famous Paradox can be stated thusly:
----
Achilles and the tortoise:
"You can never catch up."
:"In a race, the quickest runner can never overtake the slowest, since the pursuer must first reach the point whence the pursued started, so that the slower must always hold a lead." (Aristotle Physics VI:9, 239b15) 
----
Stated for Dummies, this Parodox means that Achilles (the fleet-footed Greek war hero of Achilles Heel fame) can never catch up to the slow-poke tortoise if aforesaid tortoise has any sort of head-start, however short that head-start is. Whenever Achilles reaches a point that is somewhere the tortoise has already been, the tortoise will have, by then, advanced 'slowly but surely' past that point, so that Archilles will still have farther to go, even if it is an infinitely small one. Therefore, Zeno says (and rightly), swift Achilles can never overtake the tortoise.
We have all seen this paradox work in practice. Take a slow-moving child; give him a head-start; and you can never catch up. Or take a slow-moving heavy truck that's ahead of you on a road; you will never be able to pass it, even if riding on a thousand jet planes.
The Mathematicians purport to prove this paradox as false, through the use of Calculus, a tool of sophistry. They say that Calculus proves that (under suitable conditions) if the distances are always decreasing, the time to catch up is finite, rather than infinite; so that Achilles will eventually catch the tortoise.
This is yet another example of the tools of so-called Advanced Mathematics deceiving us. Obviously, they haven't seen or been a child nor driven a car.
== Military Application ==
The United States military has incorporated Zeno's paradox into its defensive strategy. There is a now a system of radar stations equipped with ESRs (Extremely Slow Rockets) permanently on standby across the United States of America, designed to detect any missile strike against the country, and then immediately fire an ESR at the same target, ideally just in front of the offensive missile. As we know from the study of Zeno, the faster missile can never overtake the slower rocket no matter what speed it reaches, and since the Earth is also moving through space even slower than the ESR, neither munition will ever reach its target.
Category:Paradoxes
category:Philosophy
Zinc

Zinc is a the only element on the periodic table of Tunisia. Tunisian tables are periodic because they appear every 4.7 hours, just in time for dinner.
==Souces of Zinc==
The source of Zinc is unknown. The source of most other objects is also unknown due to the fact that no one knows what a source is.
==Zinc as Food==
Zinc is the primary source of food in Tunisia. Zinc miners collect it from large underground caverns, which is the natural environment for the zinc animal. After being slaugthered and feathered, zinc is ready for preparation. Some people will eat their zinc raw, cracking open its hard plastic shell and eating its innards. This is totally disgusting. The old school way to eat a zinc is to find a big juicy zinc yourself, fight it until its dead take a massive dump on it. Put it in a thin wrapping of aluminum foil and roast it until it turns purple. The only real civilized way to eat zinc is to apply a light breading and deep fry the hell out of it.
====Alternate Zinc Cooking Methods====
*Stuck on a stick and roasted over a fire.
*Hard boiled in shell,like Phil
*Sliced and boiled.
*Doused with ketchup. 
*Slow cooked, often used in soup.
*Baked and covered with cheese (popular in Wisconsin).
*Mixed with cheese curds and covered with brown gravy (popular in Québec).
*Stuffed inside iron, which is in turn stuffed inside copper. This is known as zinoppron.
==Other uses of Zinc==
Zinc can also be used as a construction material. Nearly all homes in Tunisia are made of zinc.
Sometimes large power lines use steel poles covered with the rotting skeletons of zinc. This is done to scare away rust, which is zinc's cousin and is terrified of the corpses. These poles are always placed right up your ass.
==Zinc in Popular Culture==
It is widely known that Zinc Zeppelin was the original name given to Led Zeppelin by Keith Moon, but the Queen of England had already picked out this name for her grunge band and told Keith to change it.
Category:Medicine
Category:Transition metals
Category:Vital articles
ja:亜鉛
pt:Zinco
Zipper

Zipper (n. ZIPP-er [Yiddish]) is a metallic device, used in the Jewish bris or Christian circumcision ceremony to remove the foreskin of a male infant, usually eight days after birth.
==History==
Zippers first appeared approximately 3500--4000 years ago. The first recorded mention of the zipper is in the Pentateuch--also called Torah (i.e., the first five books of the biblical Old Testament). In Genesis 17:10-11 one finds the passage, "This is my covenant with you... every male among you shall be circumcised."
==The Zipper in Modern Times==
thumb|This woman has a zipper for a tail
Today zippers are commonly used in nearly all Western cultures, by Judeo-Christians, Pagans, even Atheists, as well as by females in addition to males. Zippers are ubiquitous in our society. One finds zippers on pants, shirts, shoes, luggage, book-bags, CD-cases, sofa cushions, tents, and basically any other place one might find an uncircumcised penis.
==The Zipper in Psychology==
Freud, nearing his death, noted the widespread presence of zippers with curiousity, which caused him to re-draft his theory of human behavior. Zippers figured highly in his new psychology. All humans shared universal tendencies, and these tendencies could be categorized by gender.
===Males and Zippers===
The Oedipus Complex
1.) "Every male wants to sleep with his mother"
2.) "Every male wants to kill his father"
Amendment 1.) [Freud stated:] "Every male has had his member injured and seeks to avoid that pain in the future. The overwhelming presence of zippers on such a wide variety of products leads me believe that all males are attracted to zippers in the hopes of dismemberment; however, fornication or intent to fornicate must first occur before the zipper can function 
properly. To generalize, every male wishes to fornicate with everything in the hopes of losing his member.
===Females and Zippers===
1.) Females suffer from penis envy.
2.) Females use zippers in the hopes of growing a penis and then losing it.
==Stages of a Zipper's life==
===Larva ===
Zippers, like humans, are Colonialists. They live together and die alone.
===Independent===
Once the Zippers are 18 Zipper years old, they start moving out of the colony. After this most zippers choose to find a job and live alone. Some others form gangs and become hunters.
===Hunters===
These are the most violent form of zippers known.They spare nobody and train themselves for kill.
===Domestication===
Some of the Zippers that are caught ,are domesticated and used by human for their clothing needs.
===Honours===
The zippers which perform the assigned duty well are decorated with various medals and rewards. And are provided a proper retirement.
===Annihilation===
This is the last stage of a Zipper's life. The zippers that die in service are provided proper funeral and are stored in really huge containers.
		
		
		
=Summary=
Although Freud's latest work was largely overlooked and is today highly controversial, chances are zippers will not go away any time soon.
==See Also==
* Your fly is open
Category:Technology
Category:Symbols
Category:Psychology
Zit

In acneology, a zit (pimple in scientifical terminology) is a vast epidermal repository of many disgusting ooziferous secretions that is oft situated by the dozens on the exposed facial surfaces of angst-ridden teenagers and other generally unpopular people.
==History==
The first recorded outbreak of zits was meticulously documented by Og the Cave Person in 500,000,000 BC, in a vast series of highly intricate poop paintings detailing the case history of a suspiciously anonymous "friend" of his. Paleoacneologists have only recently determined that Og could not possibly have had enough actual paint immediately available for his colossal works of cavern art, so they theorize he was forced to improvise by dipping his brush into his "friend's" multicolored facial spurtings.
==Structure==
The standard zit consists of many scaly semi-osmotic membrane]s, which serve to separate the various layers of organic goo.
*Inner core browny pus
*Outer core tangled strands of fungi swimming in a sea of slimy goopish ooze 
*Lower mantle liquefied snot and pizza cheese, intermixed with more yellowy pus
*Upper mantle petroleum deposits formed by the decay of billions of molecules of Hershey Chocolate
*Mohorovičić discontinuity a thin slippery boundary where ultrasound waves and acne medications bounce off harmlessly
*Crust the bereaved remains of dead and decayed skin cells, paved with stenchiferous organic waste and waste-by-products and dried flakes of greenish pus
*Biosphere a thriving and relatively enlightened civilization of bacterial colonies which utilize dried flakes of yellowy pus for their medium of economic exchange
*Atmosphere a poisonous stenchiferous gas of vaporized yellowy pus that slowly seeps out of micropores that interpenetrate the dome-like superstructure
==Instability==
Due to the uncertainty principle (a trivial corollary of quantum cheddardynamics), all zits are unstable and have a half-life of anywhere from a fraction of a second to several years. Imminent detonation is usually signaled by a tiny blaring tornado siren which is inaudible to human ears, prompting the immediate evacuation of well-to-do bacteria to the various surrounding uninfected areas, where they are free to start life and civilization anew. The powerful explosion eventually ruptures the delicate internal layers of the zit to useless shreds, spewing enormous quantities of horrid intermixed gooious ooze all over the place, causing even the most stout-stomached acneologists to collectively go "Eeww!"
==Susceptible people==
*RuneScape players
*Teenagers weighing over 300 pounds
*Regular McDonald's customers
*Your mom
==See also==
*Acne
Category:Diseases
Category:Teen Angst
Category:Caucasian Dermatology
Category:Three Letters
Category:Things that make you itch
Category:Things that are definitely out to get you
de:Pickel
Zombie (disambiguation)

There are ZOMBIES on your lawn! Hurry, RUN!!!
A Zombie is usually associated with any of the following meanings:
* An undead creature from Haitian folklore.
* A person who has been infected by a very serious virus, and is now between life and death.
* A person who has no brain, also known as an idiot.
* A song by irish band The Cranberries that goes something like this: "WHAT'S IN YOUR HEEEEAAAAAD, IN YOUR HEEEEEEAAAAAAAD, ZOMBIE, ZOMBIE, ZOMBIEEEEE, IEEEEE, IEEEEEE"
If you like, a Zombie can also mean:
Category:Zombies
Zombie Apocalypse

The event that occurs if Florida Man gets hungry, a Zombie Apocalypse is one of the deadliest disasters to ever happen to mankind. 
Since 1780 there has only been 198 zombie apocalypses, most occurring in places like the UP.
== Origin ==
The first zombie apocalypse, dubbed "The Feast" happened in 1021 when Florida Native Rivercross Makawee got very hungry and then became the first zombie in history.
After he ate his first victim, the zombies quickly spread across all of North america, famously bringing down the pre-colonial native american civilisations of the Mayans and Cahokia.
They later went on and killed the Vikings coming to america and even Bruce Lee.
== Expansion to Europe ==
Once europeans sailed across the ocean to find El Dorito, they quickly found Florida. In 1512 they came in contact with Florida Natives, and subsequently after depleting the food supplies of the natives, Zombies.
The zombies quickly took over the settlement and the now zombified europeans took their boats and sailed their way to Europe. They landed in Casablanca and had a nice vacation.
== The Purge ==
The 76th zombie Apocalypse in 1666 was dubbed "The Purge" due to the movie that came out earlier that year with the same name.
It was a bloody event with a death toll of more than 78 billion people because of the globalised trade systems that were introduced in the last update. Europe also had a very bad healthcare system at the time, especially compared to other countries. The result was that it left a huge mark on Europe, seen in the image below.
== The big one ==
The 188th zombie Apocalypse in 2003, dubbed "The Big One", was the deadliest zombie apocalypse of all time. It was a result of Florida turning into a communist dicatorship under chairman Florida Man the year before.
The economy crashed during this period, and as a result, many Florida Men turned into zombies due to hunger. The lack of immigration laws enabled zombies to go out of the country and many went out of Florida and began attacking the rest of the world, including other UP states. This disaster took the lives of 139 trillion people.
== Recent Zombie Apocalypses ==
As of late, there has been a spike in zombie apocalypses due to Florida being overpopulated.
The most recent zombie apocalypse was when Florida Man used his tail to kidnap a Florida Woman, intending to starve her to death. This failed, resulting in the first Florida Woman to become a zombie. It was met with a lot of backlash from the community, as they felt the character has always been male, and that shouldn't change. The devs did not care for this, and soon the 198th zombie apocalypse came, bringing in a total of 200 million deaths, being a big domestic hit. It did worse in foreign countries, as healthcare is improving all over the world, and the border wall was blocking zombies from walking into poor countries.
Category:Zombies
Category:Apocalypse
Category:Disasters
Zombie Cheese

Zombie cheese is created when Green Cheese is left to fester for a little too long. When this happens, the cheese looses its killing stench, and engulfs the nearest thing to it, be that apples, biscuits, or (heaven forbid) generic cereal, destroying it entirely and adding it to its mass. This cycle repeats itself many times until the cheese has either engulfed everything on the shelf, been doused with holy water, or been sent to the moon.
The first known instance of Zombie cheese in Western culture was on the person of That guy who sat behind you in 10th grade English class. Even though he was unaware of the growing disturbance, his fellow classmates allowed him to go untreated, providing only the occasional stifled giggle and finger pointing.
== Life Cycle of Zombie Cheese ==
When a Zombie Cheese first appears, it latches on to the nearest food product to it. It then turns all the molecules of the food "cheesey", thus allowing it to be added to the mass of Zombie Cheese. The larger mass seeks out the closest food products to it and does the same thing. This is about the time that somebody will find it. If not, the entire shelf will be engulfed, and the Zombie Cheese will go into a hibernation state.
== What To Do With Zombie Cheese ==
Zombie Cheese, if found, must immediately be sprayed with holy water (or wine, the toxins are quite similar) which will turn it into Swiss Cheese (this is how it was invented) or send the cheese to the moon where it will become green moon cheese, the foulest of all cheeses ever known, and stay in limbo for eternity.
==Uses For Zombie Cheese==
Zombie cheese is part of the new MIRACLE diet that guarantees that YOU MIGHT lose some weight by eating it. However, most of this weight will be lost due to the zombie cheese eating your internal organs.
Zombie cheese is also an excellent repellant of insects, politicians, and current affairs shows.
==Zombie Cheese In Pop Culture==
Zombie cheese is set to play part a big in the new series of What Not To Wear.
Joe Biden’s brain is mostly formed of zombie cheese and bananas.
Zombie cheese comes out of your butt and is smelly if you put it in the toilet. You might need to light a torch in there.
 
If you eat zombie cheese, you might experience nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, DIARRHEA.
Zombie cheese might try to eat you, keep your distance if you experience diarrhea or major poop disorder (M.P.D) you might be entitled to financial compensation.
If you find zombie cheese DO NOT shoot it, nuke it, hurt its feelings, put it in a toilet, or pee on it.
Category:Zombies