It's a No-Brainer/Transcript

== Opening Segment ==
Nigel Ratburn: Now, class, there's no reason to be nervous.
Francine Frensky: Phew!
Mr. Ratburn: It's not like this is some sort of punishment.
Binky Barnes: Whew!
Arthur Read: Have you ever faced certain doom?
Mr. Ratburn: If one of you would simply volunteer for the task, you wouldn't have to go through this.
Muffy Crosswire: Whew. 
Arthur: When all that stood between you and total failure....
Mr. Ratburn: Okay, boys. Last ones!
Arthur: Was a straw!
(Buster screams) 
Mr. Ratburn: Congratulations, Buster! You win the supremely exciting challenge of competing against Brain in the third-grade mathathon!
Arthur: Buster?
(Brain sighs)
== Title Card ==
IT'S A NO-BRAINER
Written by: Dietrich Smith—Storyboard by: Robert Yap
Francine: (voice-over) It's a No-Brainer.
Brain's dog: (barks)
The Brain: Hey!
=== # ===
Buster: I always knew TV and ice-cream were good foryou.
=== # ===
Binky: I just wanted to say, I really respected your ignorance.
Brain: Er, thank you, Binky.
=== # ===
Mrs. Powers: So, dear, how was your day?
Brain: Chimerical.
The parents look at each other, then Mr. Powers looks in a dictionary right behind him.
Mr. Powers: And what made it a fire breathing monster with a lion’s head, with a goat’s body…
Mrs. Powers: I think he must mean definition number two.
=== # ===
Buster, Arthur and Francine are on the swings on the school playground.
Brain: And he said he wouldn’t need any of this stuff anymore and that he should pass it on to somebody who could use it.
Francine: Who? You?
Arthur+Francine: (laugh)
Buster: Hey! I didn’t say it, Alan did! And he said Albert Einstein didn’t always get good grades when he was in school either.
Francine: Alan? Who’s Alan?
Buster: Brain is. He said from now on to call him Alan.   Arthur and Francine look shocked.
Arthur: You mean he’s not Brain anymore.     Buster puts on goggles from Brain’s stuff.
Buster: Nope.
=== # ===
In his room Brain has set up a box as a podium and uses toys as an audience.
Brain: And what's the deal with cafeteria food? Excuuuse me, but if I want slop, I can read Olga Burke’s treatise on binomial coefficients. Laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh. And what's with substitute teachers?
Buster knocks on the door.
Arthur: Oh... hi, Brain. Can we come in?    Arthur, Buster and Francine come in. Buster is wearing Brain’s goggles.
Buster: It's Alan.
Brain: It's Alan, and, sure, guys. I can always use an audience.
Francine: What are you doing, Brain?
Buster: It's Alan.
Brain: It's Alan. A lot of things have changed. I need to be practical and train myself for a new career in comedy.
Arthur: You’re going to be a comedian?
Brain: Comedy seemed like something that wouldn’t require great intelligence.
Buster: Hey!
Brain: Watch this.     He takes a hammer out of a chest and smashes it on the box.   I just smashed an atom.
Arthur: Why have you stopped doing Brain stuff? What do you mean “things have changed”.
Brain: Everything comes to an end and besides, you’ll always have Buster.     Buster walks into the door.
Buster: Ow!
Francine: Are you crazy?
Brain: No, just practical. And willing to face “facts”.   He holds up a fax.    No use crying over spilled milk.    He takes out a jug of milk.
Francine: Stop him!
Brain: I know. You're right. I need a red nose.     He puts on a red nose.
=== # ===
The Math-athon. Brain competes against Beulah McInnerny and the rat from third grade. Applause.
Mr. Haney: All right. First question.     Brain’s Brain is lifting weights.
Brain’s Brain: Don't be scared! Don’t be scared! Don't be scared!
Buster: I am so glad Ratburn let Brain take my place.
Mr. Haney: Define pi.     Brain nervously pushes the buzzer.
Brain: Um... Uh... The, uh... ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter?
Mr. Haney: Correct.
Crowd: (cheers)    Brain and Arthur give each other the thumbs up.
Inside Buster’s head his brain eats ice-cream and watches TV. The phone rings.
Buster’s Brain: Yeah?
Brain’s Brain: Hey, thanks, bunny. We did it.
Buster’s Brain: "We?!" Who is this? How did you get this number? Operator? Operator?!Category:Season 5 transcripts
Category:Transcripts
Category:Unfinished Transcripts
Category:A to Z