Alex Trebek V.S. Nicki Minaj

We are not alone in our universe. There is much more than we all think there are. There are demons. There is a Heaven and a Hell, no doubt. For the last six months, things have never been the same for a certain few who have happened to find out the secrets of the universe. Those people would be Gregory, Edward, and Jackie. We will get to them later. Meanwhile we will go to a pocket dimension in space; a forbidden pocket I may also mention. For the sake of convinience, we shall know this realm as: "Space Hell."
Nicki Minaj returns to Space Hell to admire her work of claiming another victim. "He has done me well. He was DELICIOUS. Bitch had a fat ass. We don't want no flat asses." Nicki Minaj proclaimed. "I just hope that other stupid hoe is doin' his shit right like I am." She then mumbled to herself. At this moment, a certain young boy back on earth was ready to change the world, and eventually save it from a certain bloody destruction.
Meanwhile back on earth, our Jeopardy hero Edward, was finally living an almost normal life again after his epic battle with the SUPER ALEX TREBEK ULTIMATE DEMON JEOPARDY HOST. Him and Bobby (who will now be referred to as Gregory, his real name) have re- gained their friendship, and now have a new friend, Funkles the teddy bear. Hey I said it was almost normal. Edward had been thinking about it every now and then, wondering why it was him, and why the host of Jeopardy? Edward sent a message to Gregory over skype. "Hey man. You said you were some kind of demon hunter. Can you tell me me what happens?" He messaged him. "Sure. But I also have something else to tell you. I feel awful about it. I hope you can forgive me." He replied. "I know you had to send it to me. It's fine man." He posted. "This is similar to that. Meet me tomorrow at 5 and I'll tell you. I've got to go now. See ya then," Gregory then went offline. Edward knew his life would be changed again after that small conversation.
"THAT STUPID HOE! HE HAD ONE MOTHER FUCKIN' JOB! WE GOTTA GET HIS STUPID ASS OUTTA HERE!" Nicki Minaj yelled to another space demon. "I SHOULD BE THE LEADER OF THIS BITCH! NOT HIM!" She yelled again. "Look. He's dead. Calm down." The other demon told Nicki Minaj. "Stupid ass motherfucker. We ain't dead until every trace of us is gone. Dumbass." She replied. She then brought up the file Jeopardy.exe. The clip Edward witnessed started playing. After the clip had finished, Alex Trebek entered the room. "Hello there Nicki, my friend." Alex Trebek calmy said to Nicki Minaj, while opening his arms as if to hug her. "Get back you stupid bitch!" She replies as she pushed him against the nearest wall. "Bitch I gotta be the leader of this joint. Not your stupid ass hole." Nicki Minaj proclaimed. She then pulled out her weights and went in for the kill. Alex Trebek laughed as she approached him at a tremendous speed. He then pointed a single finger at her and shot her with his laser. She was in pain as she screamed in agony after she had taken in the shot. Next, he repeadedly started to shoot her over, and over again. She then retreated. He then chased her to the teleporters. "This ain't over. This is far from over." Nicki Minaj stated under her breath as she escaped.
Then the next day occurred.
It was now 5:00pm. Edward made his way to Gregory's house. He had brought Funkles along with him, knowing that he should discuss the subject as well. "I have something to tell you as well Edward. Me and Gregory will explain to you everything." Funkles told Edward. "Okay. Thanks." Edward replied. Gregory opened the door, and then welcomed them in afterwards. "I know this will be a lot for you to take in. I really honestly hope you're ready." Gregory told Edward in a somewhat somber voice. "First, I will tell you about Funkles. He was originally created in the world of demon hunters as a guardian. I knew there would be demons, so I trusted you to keep care of him." Gregory told him. "I knew you could defend the Earth. I was definitly right." Funkles told Edward. That is why Funkles is the way he is. "Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh. So that's why I always thought he was possessed over the years. Wow. Just blew my mind for a second. He he." Proclaimed Edward while telling his funny story of his past.
"Now for my story. I am a demon hunter. My parents tried to hide it, but I eventually found all of their stash one day. I knew it was to be my destiny some day, to hunt, fight, and kill demons. I eventually became very experienced by the time I was atleast sixteen. Then many years later, I vistied Space Hell to take out some space demons from the source. I went up against a certain demon. This one was a high commander, but too bad I didn't know that back then." Gregory sadly told. "I eventually lost to him. Instead of killing me, he made me give him an earthly form. I then put him into a .exe file. After that, he chose his own form. He had chosen the host of Jeopardy. Then I sent you the file. I'm still so so sorry for that day Edward." Gregory started to cry a little, knowing what he had done. "I'm sorry, I can't take it right now. All of this shit's coming back again. Come back tomorrow, same time. I'll tell you the rest then." Gregory was starting to go into a nervous breakdown now. Edward and Funkles stepped out. "I'm not sure what he means. Hopefully he'll be better in time." Funkles told Edward. "I'm not completely sure about the whole space demon thing yet. I'll ask him tomorrow if he doesn't start going to go into another nervous breakdown again." Edward replied.
Meanwhile, deep underground, Nicki Minaj was furious. "Bitch ass stole my rank! Imma kick his skinny little ass so hard when I'm through with him." She mumbled to herself. "Imma take his kills. If I take all of these stupid mortal asses, HE won't get any! I'm sure to get a better rank than this shit tier that I'm at! Ahahahahahaha!" Nicki Minaj made her way to the surface, by turning into her anaconda form. After going up to the surface, she started to wreak havoc on the city she had arrived at. She shot whipped cream at the buildings, causing everything to explode and crumble down! She started to burrow under large buildings to shake the support, causing them all to fall down. Weights were also being shot at innocent people, killing them in the process. Then the military started coming in. Every tank was blown up by a rapid- fired weight. Every unit of the air force was taken down by the whipped cream. Then the military noticed that there was nothing that they could do. Only a mircale could save them now. Meanwhile in Space Hell, Alex Trebek was watching her handi- work back on Earth. "She's killing them all! All of my FRIENDS! SHE MUST DIE NOW!" Alex Trebek shouted as he spread his wings to fly. "Watch the place. If anything is out of place, you will soon be in jeopardy." Alex Trebek warned the other new space demon watching his place for him as he left. Alex Trebek was now on his way to Earth; And he was as pissed off as shit.
The next day...
Gregory had invited Edward and Funkles back into his home again that day. This time, Gregory was truly ready to spill the beans to Edward and Funkles. "Hey Greg, I never fully understood the whole space demon thing. Can you tell me some more about them?" Edward asked politely to Gregory. "Fine. Then I will shed some light on my past, then I will tell you my deed. Here it goes. Space demons are similar, but still different from regular demons. These demons rely on technology to get to Earth. They must get there through a file, or video, on Youtube, or any other way, it really didn't matter. The prefered technique was a .exe, .avi, or a .jpeg file. Websites are also used, but not as commonly. Once a form is chosen, they must claim atleast one victim to bring that form into the real world." Edward was surprised at this new information. "Now for my past again. This was only mabey a few days before the battle with Alex Trebek. I was approached by another demon on the web. It had already chosen a file and a form. That form was Nicki Minaj. It knew I was weak, and that I had to do it, otherwise I would be killed. So I sent the file to a certain person Nicki Minaj told me to." He explained softly. "Who- who was it Greg?" "It was your good friend. Jackie Clements." Gregory had revealed. "I- I- I..." Edward started to stutter. Soon afterwards, he was on the floor sobbing. "That's why he went missing after I killed that demon bitch ass piece of shit! That's why! I knew it!" Edward was furious at this point. "Calm down buddy. He's proably in a better place now. Safe from those demons." Funkles tried to cheer Edward up. Edward wiped away his tears, and had now tried to stop sobbing and crying. "Mabey. Hopefuly he is in a better place." Edward got over this issue surprisingly fast. "Look everyone! Check out the news!" Funkles exclaimed to the room. "Nicki Minaj snake demon attacks city! Live feed being sent as we speak right now!" Said a news reporter. Edward had now seen the very face that had killed his friend. Edward began to feel anger in heart now. "She deserves to die for what she has done. May a force more powerful than yours strike you down you filthy son of a bitch!" Edward yelled at the TV." We have to go. I need to see this demon die!" Edward shouted as they left for down town. Little did he know, that his wish would be soon granted, for a much more powerful force was coming for his vengeance.
Something was flaming up, and coming down from the sky. "Look up, everyone!" Funkles exclaimed. The object then crashed into the city with a fiery explosion! It was Alex Trebek! "BITCH YOU'RE TAKING MY FRIENDS!" Alex Trebek yelled at Nicki Minaj. Alex Trebek shot his SUPER LAZERS at Nicki Minaj. Her eyes suddenly turned into buttcheeks and she opened her mouth open wide to reveal the pair of buttcheeks that killed Jackie Clements! She consumed the LAZER. "Hmm looks like the bitch can get past my LAZERS. You're gonna die now, my friend..." Alex Trebek chuckled a little after saying that. He then started to laugh. He laughed a lot. THE HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD WAS POURING OUT FROM HIS POT HOLE EYES INTO HIS MOUTH! Nicki Minaj knew that she was officially fucked at this moment. He started to transform into... SUPER ALEX TREBEK ULTIMATE DEMON JEOPARDY HOST!!! THE POWER WAS TOO STRONG NOW! Alex Trebek shot his ULTIMATE LAZER DEATH ATTACK! Nicki Minaj laughed as she shot a straight beam of whipped cream which caused a HUGE EXPLOSION! Nicki Minaj counter- attacked as she shot her weights like machine guns at Alex Trebek! He breathed his fire breath, and melted her weights! She then charged up, and shot a massive weight! Alex Trebek couldn't melt it, and the hit slammed into a parade of gas trucks, and even a gas station, and the whole place BLEW UP IN A FIERY EXPLOSION OF ENERGY AND FIERY FLAMES!
Alex Trebek soon after got up and emerged from the flames. Now he was truly pissed off. "You will soon be in jeopardy BITCH!" Alex Trebek shouted! He used his hands to charge up a SOOPER DOOPER LAZER ATTACK! He shot it, and it directly hit Nicki Minaj's butt face! She then flew into a building, causing it to topple over and crush even more buildings like they were in a domino effect. "YOU SKINNY BITCH! LETS TAKE THIS SHIT OUTTA HERE!" She psycotically screamed at the host of Jeopardy. "Fine by me." He soon replied. Then the two space demons flew out of the city right into the far reached of space! Alex Trebek used his demon wings leaving behind a trail of blood, while ?Nicki Minaj bounced off of her mouth- buttcheeks and used her whipped cream rocket packs! "Well looks like I'm done with those two little fuck- nuggets. NOW WHO WANTS MILKSHAKES?!?!" Edward said. "WE DO!" Replied the two. And literally, that's the end of their stories. They got milkshakes. OR DID THEY?! Oh well who cares. They just got milkshakes, end of story. BUT NOT THE SPACE DEMON'S STORIES YET!
The two space demons went out into space; but not just anywhere in space. They went into the middle of a newly formed nebula. They were right in a danger zone for trouble. Alex Trebek shot more lasers at Nicki Minaj, but she successfully dodged them all. Alex Trebek burned more weights, and whipped cream. The battle was going nowhere now. "I GOT BUNS HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" Yelled Nicki Minaj as she opned her mouth- buttcheeks again. This time, things were now starting to get more serious than before. She was whipping out the.... "Big Guns". She expanded her mouth- buttcheeks even more this time. She then started to approach one of the newly formed starts. She then procceeded to swallow one of the stars! "YOU WANT SOME YOU STUPID HOE?!?!" Nicki Minaj asked. Then she shot THE SUPER NEBULA STAR MOUTH- BUTTCHEEK LAZER! It hit Alex Trebek, and caused him some damage. "NOT ON MY WATCH BITCH!" He replied He then sent out his Jeopardy contestant friends to do his work. They were able to only land a few hits on Nicki Minaj before she annihalated their stupid hoe asses. Alex Trebek knew that his friends couldn't deal with her. So he expanded his hand out to one of the stars, and started to drain the energy from it! He then shot it at Nicki Minaj hitting her heavily! Then it was a huge SUPER LAZER FIGHT WAR BATTLE! SHOTS WERE FIRING FROM ALL DIRECTIONS ON EVERY PART OF BOTH OF THEIR BODIES NOW! Then SUPER ALEX TREBEK ULTIMATE DEMON JEOPARDY HOST SHOT A HEAVILY CHARGED LAZER AT NICKI MINAJ! Unfortunatley, it had missed, and hit a nearby star! The heat was too intense for the star to handle! The star then EXPLODED A HUGE SHOCKWAVE ACROSS THE NEBULA!
Nicki Minaj saw this opportunity as well, and she shot a huge whipped cream laser at some nearby stars! They all exploded into fire and shockwaves! All of the stars had been annihaled into oblivion; except the largest one there. The two had both realized it, and knew what they had to do "TIME TO UNVIEL MY ULTIMATE ATTACK! FINAL JEOPARDY QUESTION!!!!!! WHO IS THE MOST POWERFUL SPACE DEMON IN THE GALAXY?!?!" He had asked. " WHAT IS NOT YOUR STUPID SKINNY HOE ASS YOU PIECE OF SHIT MOTHERFUCKING ASS PEICE!!" She had replied shortly afterwards. NICKI MINAJ SHOT AN ENERGY WEIGHT WHIPPED CREAM FILLED LAZER BEAM AT ALEX TREBEK! " IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?!?! YOU ANSWERED WRONG MY DEAREST. THE ANSWER IS ME! YOUR LIFE AND YOUR BEING ARE NOW IN FINAL JEOPARDY!" SUPER ALEX TREBEK ULTIMATE DEMON JEOPARDY HOST REPLIED! He then shot his FINAL JEOPARDY QUESTION LASER!
The two lasers than hit each other, but they were too powerful to react! Instead, they both went up, HITTING THE MASSIVE STAR! The star than EXPLODED! Everything was falling apart with black holes and fire surrounding them! The massive star than started to turn into a super nova! The two were then blinded by the amount of light being exposed to them. The star then started to transform into a massive black hole. They both knew it was too dangerous to stay there. "That bitch will still luh my fat ass some day...." Regular old Nicki Minaj mumbled to herself as she left the nebula. "My friend still isn't dismissed from the show yet..." Now regular old Alex Trebek said under his breath.
Something huge had happened that day. Two titans destroyed a city, and even an entire nebula. Luckily the city was under complete reconstruction again, and a new nebula had been forming back in space already from the destruction caused there previously. But still......I never said they were killed in the destruction. They are still out there to this very day......... You never what's out there do you......
Category:Trollpasta
Category:BATTELS
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck