The PS2 Disc

Hey it's me, Geraldo, I know I might seem like a bastard who probably shouldn't have gotten into this again but my fondness for PlayStation goes a long way. Anyway, I had recently dug myself out of a deep, dark hole known as depression. Ever since I had played that damn PS1 game, my house burned down causing me to move into an apartment complex. My girlfriend had cheated and left me (not like she lovedme anyway). I also got IP banned from Reddit for expressing my dislike for the last episode of King Of The Hill saying "not as good as the other episodes". So yeah, my life was a wreck.
To top it all of the power had went out recently as well. It was reported by some people who were also at the apartment complex that they suspect it was two delinquents in the area, one wearing a yellow shirt with black stripes and the other wearing a lawyer suit. Halloween was around the corner and I assumed it was the new way to prank people that these kids come up with.
So during that entire month of madness, I decided to change up my lifestyle and go outside for once. I was bored after 5 minutes and decided to go back home. Before I entered my apartment, I was stopped by a neighbor of mine. He looked like he was shaking a lot and stuttered a few times. He was there to give me this weird looking Official Xbox Magazine. I went into my house only to throw away the magazine (I dont read magazines, I play games and demo discs). I went into what I guess you would call Living room (haven't gotten uses to the place yet). I had found an PS2 plugged into my tv. I suspected it was that weird magazine man who broke into my house but at this point I had bigger problems to worry about.
There was a game already put into the console as well. I picked up to see that the game was called:
"The PS2 REMASTERED "
I was shocked and confused at the same time. I was contemplating on whether or not to play the game for what seemed like a good hour before I made up my mind. I decided to throw it away and go to bed.
In the middle of the night, I had woke up to a disturbance going on in my house. 'I swear to god, if it's that magazine man again' I thought. It turns out that everything was still intact. Except for the fact that there was a giant dick drawn on the wall. A perfectly drawn dick in high detail was drawn with crayon. I was impressed but I was also more confused as I don't remember drawing one on that wall from the other night when I had gotten high. I looked to the TV screen to see that the PS2 remastered was on the title screen. I said "what the fuck" and play the game since I was bored.I pressed start to be greeted with a text box that said:
"Day One"
I was greeted with a sprite that looked oddly familiar. The character was in a town presumably, as I kept walking down a street. It cut to a cut screen that involved the character carrying a boombox to the frontyard of a house. The person who lived in the house looked out the window to see the character I was playing as dancing to an Mr. Potato Head Theme. I chuckled a bit until I saw that the person in the house (who happens to be a girl btw) call the police. Also her boyfriend came out and kicked the characters ass.
When the police arrived, the character had pulled out bomb. I was shocked to here an 16-bit version of ISIS sounding music. There was text that said:
"If I can't have my gf back I'll see you all in hell"
Everyone had blew up in the neighborhood. In fact the explosion was so big I blew up everything. Including my PS2 which had caused fire in my apartment. I called 911 and when the police had arrived, they burst through my door and shot me 5 times. I woke up in a hospital where my sight was blurry for a few seconds. I could here the doctor talking to me. He had a Barry B benson voice, like Jerry Seinfeld the voice of the bee movie.
Doctor: "Are you ok Geraldo, looks like you're in a quite a pickle HUEHUE"
I lifted myself up from the bed to see that next to me on a table was a walking and talking Barry the bee from Bee movie dressed as a doctor.
Barry: "Time to go technical, bitch"
Barry had pulled the plug on my life support and plugged it into an PS2.
The game from earlier was being played as I was being taken over as the character in the game. What was weird was that everything looked like it would be in real life. I wasn't able to take control of my body as I was walking down the street. I walked and I walked and I walked some more. I kept on walking. I walked some more only to eventually keep walking (man what a boring ass game). I eventually approached a house that looked like my girlfriend who broke up with me from a month ago. There was a boombox that I pressed play on and it played the Mr. Potato Head Show theme song. Uncontrollably, I danced and did the Head-banging. My girlfriend (or should I say my ex) had threatened to call the cops on me if i didn't leave her property. Lisa had eventually came out with a gun pointed sideways.
Lisa: "ay yo, leave us alone or bust a cap in yo ass"
Unlike last time, I tackled Lisa and took the gun from her. I had shot her with my her own gun. I was shocked to see what I did but I remembered that Barry was probably making me go through with these actions. I had to make a run for it. I stole a car and was on my way out of town. I saw that the police were tailing me as well. I was driving as fast as I could before driving through the front door of a hospital. I fell out of the car, hurt. I jumped up and decided to run up the stairs. I kept running and running and running some more. I got tired and deicied to stop at hospital door where I passed out and fell flat on my chest. There was a game over screen. Than the TV shut off.
I woke up on the floor of the hospital to see an half opened door. I later moved on to the hospital door and see what looked like Barry who was trying to figure out how to plug in the PS2. I laughed at his situation when he turned around and got mad. He then grew spider legs and his eyes turned slivered (like almonds). He jumped at me, only to slip n slide into the room across and hop out the window. I looked out to see a weird guy in a Clippy the paperclip costume. The man had the same bodyshape as the guy who gave me that Official Xbox Magazine.
Speaking of Official Xbox Magazines, he threw it at me through the window, winked and proceeded to crush and step on the Barry-spider hybrid and kill him off for good. I picked up the magazine and read the title and it said:
"Official Xbox Magazine: Issue 84, June 2008"
I was reading the Official Xbox Magazine and I have to say that as disturbing as it was, I still didn't think much since I had to read and I don't like reading, so I went to play some games. I went back into the other hospital room to only see that the PS2 was gone. I was super confused as to what happened. I went to the first floor of the hospital to only see that the car from when I was in the game was still crashed in the building killing 3 people.
I got in the car and started it up, backing out the front door. I went back to my apartment only this time police were surrounding the area. A police officer stopped me at my front door saying that I couldn't go in there since someone had commited suicide in the apartment. I explained to him that this was my place but he threatened to kill me and make it look like a suicide. I kicked him in the balls and ran in. My jaw dropped as I saw a satanic ritual was being practiced in my own home. Remember that fat guy who was in that clippy the paperclip costume? He turned out to be the same guy at my doorstep trying to give me that Official Xbox Magazine. His dead body was being sacrificed by a group of police officers.
There was someone who was wearing a robe. It looked like a overweight person of some sort. The bowtie he had on was red that he was actually Layton T Montgomery. They looked towards the door to find out that they had been caught. Montgomery yelled "Get him" as I ran out of there. I was running down the street as I was getting chased by 10 police cars. I cut down an alleyway as the cars passed by. I wanted to go to the police about this before realizing that those were the guys who were after me. I went back to my apartment to see that the magazine man's body was still on the floor. I put him in a bodybag and threw him out. I was so tired and confused so I went to bed. It was night time when I decided to move out so I packed whatever stuff that wasn't destroyed.
On my way out, I heard some argument going on with the neighbor and a pizza guy. I heard gunshots so I checked it out. It turns out that Barry had shot the pizza delivery man and ran back inside with his pizza. I broke through his door knocking him down. my eyes scanned the entire room to see him on the couch playing a game. It was the PS2 Remastered.
Barry: "Hold on a sec, I'm playing on my PlayStation 2 please call back after the beeep"
I went up to the TV and unplugged the PS2. Barry dropped the controller. He looked towards me and said:
"Why did you unplug my video game?!?"
I ran over to his couch and grabbed. He was trying to squirm out of my grip but he couldn't go anywhere. I opened up my toilet bowl, dropped Barry in it and dropped a Mondo Duke like I've never had before. Barry was drowning and drowning before I flushed the toilet. I walked out of the bathroom feeling a little dissatisfied with what I did but I did what I had to do.
There was a knock on the door. My head darted towards the door as I was looking to see who it was. I couldn't see who was at the door so maybe it was a chubby person or something. But boy was I wrong.
Fucking Layton T fucking Montgomery was standing.
He jumped up from the ground as he yelled: "It's time to face the wheel of justice". He punched square in the balls. I then proceeded to fall to the ground and cry for 5 minutes before getting back up. I noticed that he was trying to spank me in an attempt to finish me off but I laughed. I then picked up Montgomery and threw him out of the window hoping he would've died. A sigh of relief came out. It was all over. I picked up the PS2 controller and played the game. And....it was terrible. No, it was bad, ITS REALLY BAD.
The controls feel like shit, the graphics are ass and it's just a whole shitload of fuck. I wanted to get a game and smash the game but then decided to sell it on amazon. It got one bidder and he bought it for a low, low price of $59. I got a message from the guy and he had this to say:
"Hi, thanks for the game bitch. And remember...Ya like jazz".
The End.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Memes
Category:English Class Failure
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Unnecessary Sequels
Category:Vidya games