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Popcorn horse

The popcorn horse is a genetically engineered animal created by Dr. Horsival Redenhorser, which is currently being bred primarily by the food industry because it is delicious.
== Origin ==
At his birth in 1907, Horsival Redenhorser was diagnosed with what doctors at the time called Redenhorser Syndrome, a condition charactorized by an elongated face, pointed ears, and a taste for grasses. Doctors described Horsival as being half-human & half-some-other-sort-of-beast. As a young man Horsival decided to devote his life to discovering what this half-beast was. After graduating from Preakness High School, he attended Belmont College and Kentuckistan University where he received his doctorate.In 1931, Horsival began his genetic experiments in a laboratory he built in a creepy abandoned schoolhouse on the wrong side of the tracks. Nearly forty years later, after splicing his DNA with a corn stalk he inadvertently developed the first ear of what is now know as "horser corn". Thinking his experiment was a failure, he pitched the ear into the furnace. Suddenly these tiny four legged creatures started popping out of the fire and scurrying across the floor in flames. After stomping them out, he, naturally, ate one. Horsival was delighted that not only had he discovered the mythical creature he sought his entire life, but they were also quite delicious.
== Life Cycle ==
The life cycle of the popcorn horse is complicated. Popcorn horses are born when horser corn kernels are popped over a flame or in a microwave oven. The popcorn horses can then be eaten or planted in ground. When a popcorn horse is planted in the ground, it grows up into a full-sized proper horse called a horse. These proper horses give birth to, or more accurately, crap out ears of horser corn. These ears of horser corn can then be dried and popped over a flame or in a microwave to make more popcorn horses.
And similar to full-sized horses, the popcorn horse poops out the "baby corn" that you're eating right now. That's where that comes from. Nobody knows what will happen if you pop the "baby corn". No one's ever had the courage to try it. Some speculate you'll get even tinier horses. Others believe such an act will release the Four Popcorn Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
== Popcorn Horses As Pets ==
Unlike a full-grown horse, the popcorn horse is a quite unpleasant animal. In the wild they travel in 6-packs and gang up on their victims; biting them with their dull, flat teeth. They aren't carnivorous, they're just very, very obnoxious, and there are no records of anyone being fatally attacked.
But despite being known as temperamental little creatures, some people take popcorn horses in as pets. In the late 1980's, there was an underground trend in many urban areas of people "tricking out" their popcorn horses which gained mainstream attention after MTV began broadcasting the show "Pimp My Popcorn Horse" hosted by rapper Xzuberant. The most common practice of the popcorn horse pimping enthusiasts is upholstering their horses, also known as "upholHORSEtery".
category:Horses
Pope Oscar the Grouch I

Pope Oscar the Grouch I also known as Mega Pope is the current and oldest pope in office having been born in 1227 and having slept with over 600 homeless women. He is also known for his bad case of STD, and bad temper around people who like Hazbin Hotel he thinks that one day Spiderman will come to Italy as well as Mordor. He likes to play Habbo Hotel and loves burning government documents. 
== Early life ==
=== Origins for Flanders, Sleeping With Homeless Women, and Running away to Rome. ===
John de "Oscar" the Grouch was born in 1227 to Matilda de Rex in a red light district in Amsterdam who got him birthed after a interaction with her pimp. As he grew up he had many lovers who were homeless women many of whom he slept with thankfully not turning into some Romeo and Juliet bullshit. he ran away to Rome after joining NoFap Classes which encouraged him to not be a pimp and to become "mega pope".
=== Taking Classes and starting his Popehood ===
After making it there in 1247 he took classes for a short while before he entered the Holy See where in the Saint Peter's Basilica he met Pope Benedict 16.0 whom bugged him off due to "small penis" issues. But Oscar did not and kept studying everything about being mega pope before then he knew more the Pope Benedict 16.0 this made 16.0 pissed so he challenged Oscar to a lightsaber duel which killed 16.0, just before dying 16.0 revealed the he was in fact Oscar's estranged father/pimp after that he thanked the NoFap forums user and began to rule over the Holy See.
== Pope Oscar the Grouch I ==
After defeating 16.0 he was called the new Pope here are some of the events that have happened.
=== Commission for a wall painting for the Sistine Chapel from Michelangelo. ===
After getting bad reviews from the Holy Roman Empire about the empty Sistine Chapel, he asked world famous hentai artist Michelangelo to create a masterpiece but this took over 4 years but the result was the same as his other paintings.
Porfirio Díaz

José de la Cruz Porfirio Díaz Mori also known as just Old Man was a Mexican philanthropist, renaissance man, statesman, general, second general, spy, assassin, sombrero salesman and medal forger. He also happened to serve as President of Mexico for 27 years.
==Early years==
Forged in the fires of prehistoric Earth, Porfirio Díaz is said to have crawled out of the earth some time during the Late Mesolithic EraSeptember 15th, 1830 according to scienceticians. in the approximate area of France with the sole purpose of eradicating the entirety of Mexico. To achieve this, he practiced drills and attended lectures on tactics and strategy at the Institute of Arts and Sciences in Mexico City, though would never have time to realize his intricate plans after being elected President of Mexico by the other five scheming generals which controlled Mexico at the time, whose names were lost to time.
==Administration==
Characterized by its greater cooperation with the United StatesSuch as the mass export and debasing of the choco taco., re-institution of slavery, and sudden subsequent economic growth would see Mexico become a superpower for the first time in its history, and also for the last time in its history. This would continue to snowball into even more economic liberalization, until the country was eventually put up for auction on the 25th of May, 1911, where it was subsequently sold to France for 247 million Mexican pesos ($14 USD, adjusted for inflation). The sheer outrage by 99% of the Mexican public, which not only was part of an early form of wage slavery but also profusely racist, would call for a vote of no confidence, which would see Francisco "I" Madero elected El Presidente. This would fracture the country into 14 different rump states over the following years, beginning the Mexican Revolution.
==Exile==
Hated by the entire nation, Porfirio Díaz would go on to be exiled to the most loathsome place known to man: Paris, France. However, he would continue to participate in the Mexican government remotely via Skype, serving as Viceroy of Tijuana under the alias of Felix Díaz Prieto, which would later go on to be identified as him but with Groucho glasses. Díaz was later captured and imprisoned in the tallest tower in all of Tijuana, where he remains to this day. 
==Death==
Sources vary on the conceivable possibility that Porfirio Díaz has died, but it is presumed by some[citation needed] that he was at some point beheaded by the Mexican cartels for failure to file his taxes. However, this remains hotly disputed by the international community at large, none of which have bothered to check.
==Footnotes==
 
category:Mexican people
Category:History of Mexico 
category:Historical Nonsense
Porno Horse

Porno Horse (January 1, 1969 - October 27, 1994) was a horse known for his contributions to the field of animal porn. He was also an animal rights activist, filmmaker, and very talented pop musician who can definitely sing without autotune and definitely doesn't just wave their ass at a camera while pretending to play a musical instrument. Definitely. 
==Early life==
Porno Horse was born to Porn Ography Horse and Pinkie Pie in 1969. He was raised in a stable in Maryland. At the horse age of 20, he made his first film, Harder Daddy!, starring himself. The film was a major success, and showed that he was a talented young director, writer, and porn star. 
==Career==
After Harder Daddy!, Oscar Wilde approached him and asked if he would be in his next film, entitled Deep Horse Throat. Porno agreed, and the two subsequently began a long friendship and would since work with each other until Horse's death. In 1976, Porno decided he would take a break from directing, and focus entirely on acting. He returned to directing in 1982.
Porno Horse became a major animal rights activist in 1983 after ██████████████████████████████████████████████████ There's no text behind this. . He started making music videos as well, and got into music himself in 1986. His first album, Jackal Off, was received well by critics and considered one of the greatest albums of all time, along with L.A. Beaner, by The Doors.
==Later years==
Porno Horse began having health problems at the horse age of 65. In his later years, he mostly directed and wrote scripts, though he did have minor roles in non-porn films. He died tragically of natural causes in 1994, making him technically part of the 27 club.
==Death==
Porno Horse's funeral was attended by famous figures like Oscar Wilde, Oprah, and Jim Morrison. Oscar Wilde allegedly said, at his funeral, A statue of Porno was erected (mmmmm…) in his home state of Maryland.
==See also==
*Jim Morrison
*Animal porn
*My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Category:Sex
Category:Horses
Port Arthur massacre

The Port Arthur massacre is a film, and is the 4th part of the Rambo series of productions, starring Sylvester Stallone. It's working title was Rambo: First Blood: Part 4: Killing random tourists. It was sadly taken far too seriously in the media, and some people thought that there were actual deaths as a result. Threatening to blackmail the production staff, producers agreed to pay off 100 or more "families of victims" in return for their silence as to the movie's true nature. The fictional event is suggested to have occurred in or around the town of Port Arthur, Tasmania, Australia, from 10pm 27 April 1996 - 8.25am 29 April 1996.
== Background ==
After returning from his latest mission, Rambo heads to Australia for a holiday. On a nationwide holiday, he ends up in Tasmania, and is suggested to go to Port Arthur. Seeing the prisons, the insane asylum, and all of the history, Rambo gets flash backs from the Vietnam War, and goes in to overdrive.
Port Arthur is a fictional town in the unreleased movie "Rambo: First Blood: Part IV: Killing random tourists" (aka Port Arthur massacre). Scenes from the movie were actually shot in Texas, Ontario in Canada, China and Tasmania, Australia.
== The killings ==
He fills up a bag full of automatic weapons, puts on a fake blonde wig, and enters a shop, then starts to kill everyone in the room, thinking that they are the enemy. He proceeds to kill all witnesses, seeing Viet Cong everywhere, until he ends up stuck in a hotel, where he sits down in great distress.
The owners of the hotel, called Noelene and David Martin, walk in to comfort Rambo, but he sees them as Viet Cong and shoots them dead. One of their employees, a mentally disabled man called Martin Bryant, comes in to comfort Rambo, and he takes pity on him, seeing him as a small boy. Rambo then stays to take on the entire Tasmanian Special Operations Group single handedly, setting up an intricate series of wires so that it appears as if there are several more people in the hotel, and takes them on for several hours.
After a long standoff, Rambo sets fire to the hotel, through self-exploding automatic weapons, and leaps through the flames. Martin Bryant waves goodbye, and is arrested as his sacrifice to help Rambo to escape. All is well.
== Reaction ==
The public reaction was that Rambo 4 was such a bad movie that was in such bad taste that the production house didn't even want to admit to making it. As such, they let people believe that the events were actually real. Anyone who thought that they saw Rambo was asked to please change their story and pretend that it was really Martin Bryant.
== After effects ==
This movie saw the end of the Rambo character and of the series as a whole.
Category:1990s films
Category:American films
Category:Australian films
Category:Crime in Australia
Category:Tasmania
Portable Network Graphics

PNG (ROT13 for "cat", a popular Unix utility) is a recursive acronym for PNG's Not Graphics. Therefore, you should never ever under any circumstances use PNG for graphics. There are much cooler formats, such as JPEG, and of course BMP's. Also, don't bother saving JPEGs in Photoshop. Use MS Paint.
Use JPEG for everything, especially text and line art. Consider these examples:
It is obvious that JPEG adds cool antialiasing and gray background. Another example: :File:H0lyDMCAlol.JPG.
==Arguments for not using PNG==
* Nobody knows about it.
* No Animation, so the format is absolutely useless as you cannot use it for banner ads.
* It's used on Wikipedia. Yes, that parody of Uncyclopedia. Why should the great Uncyclopedia use it?
* It's an unstable "free" format so you're doomed if you use PNG, as the FSF will retaliate with a DMCA lawsuit! Also, it only supports (mostly) 32-bit alpha transparency, and GIF (created as a proprietary format, so you know it's serious) supports supports 256 colors plus a transparent one. 
* PNG is too limited to be rendered in Internet Explorer. So if you see the PNG above, you are not using Internet Explorer, you are using Mozilla Firefox disguised as Internet Explorer 7. Or maybe the Flying Spaghetti Monster makes you believe you see it.
* Because of the Transparency Bug, PNG can't display nude imagery. Computer Hackers thus refer to the format as "persona non grata", because of occurrences of - for example - Jimmy Wales PNGs amongst finr pr0n JPEGs. See Horror, Hoax.
* PNG is not supported in Uruguay
==Arguments for using PNG==
* It's excellent for digital photographs and full color graphics on the web, as the visual quality will increase tremendously at the cost of only about 500%...1000% increase in file size and subsequent bandwidth use over JPEG files. 
* The lossless nature of PNG is absolutely necessary in the modern use of the internet; you cannot allow vital information like pictures of cats degrade over time as people re-use the files to add silly texts to them.
* The gamma and color corrections totally work! See: []
* It's, like, amazing, and, definitely, better than all the other formats.
* It only works in great browsers!
Category:Soon be dead
Category:Internet
Category:Formats
Category:Three Letters
gl:Portable Network Graphics
ja:PNG
Portal:Art/Intro

Art (from the German arsch, translating loosely to "sexy ginger") might be the expression of amazing talent and possibly not stupidity or lack of imagination. Art may be generally considered purely a middle/upper class pursuit. However, some examples may have practical applications, meaning that they might also be enjoyed by the working classes. 
Art is commonly understood as the act of making love to things that look like nothing much like people and which have no meaning beyond simple description. While art is often indistinguishable from mockery and pointless hobby activities, this boundary can at times be hard to define, as if anyone cares. The term creative arts denotes a collection of disciplines whose principal purpose is the output of material for the viewer or audience to ignore.
Category:Portal intros
Portal:Art/Nominations

Found or created a decent article / image / quote / suggestion / idea / etc. on the subject of art or artists? Well, ain't you the clever one. List it here and it could be featured on the Uncyclopedia Art Portal.
Add your image suggestions like this:
* [[:File:ArtSubs01.png]] 
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Portal:Art/Rewrites

Bored of looking at porn, pictures of cats with amusing captions, stickmen murdering each other and everything else the Internet has to offer? Try going outside - there's a whole world out there.
If that concept reduces you to a shivering mess, write an article on something - hey, you may as well - it'll probably get huffed within a few days so what have you got to lose?
Muse deserted you? No wonder - have you taken a look at yourself lately? Oh well, no matter - amuse yourself here by picking one of these articles and giving it a quick wash and brush up. You know, sort out the formatting, speeling, grammar's and so on.
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Category:Portals/Maintenance
Portal:Art/Selected Articles

File:Post modern 1.jpg|Postmodern art
File:Focal Point.jpg|Girl with a Pearl Earring
File:Tn no1.jpg|The Camera Obscura Collection of Hans Helmuth Saltzman (1602-1668)
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Category:Portal article blurbs
Portal:Business/Intro

Money is the means by which anthropologically weaker people exert power over the strong. It has mysterious origins; however, modern economic structures have originated chiefly out of the West, as the East's values have strayed towards Collectivism. Money is seen as the symbol of status and showing you have affluence through consumption is the goal of modern life in the Free World.
The medium has always been thought of as a system of control. It isn't– it's a system of self-enforced enslavement as most people are too lazy to be bothered doing anything else. The activity of acquiring money such as employment is the main goal in life after adolescence as personal fulfillment dwindles and the pressure of society increases. Here money is pivotal in gauging personal success. Money was once dominated by men, who were seen as providers; however, women and children are increasingly taking part in the acquisition of money. (See more...)
Category:Portal intros
Portal:Business/Nominations

Found or created a decent article / image / quote / suggestion / idea / etc. on the subject of Media? 
List it here and it could be featured on the Uncyclopedia Portals.
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Portal:Comedy/Description

Comedy is a communication system for people to make other people realize how stupid some things are. Be they stupid people, places or things. Comedy is usually expressed by Comedians which may be Canadians, individuals, teams or troupes. Animators and illustrators may also qualify as comedians, as their product serves the same purpose. Certainly, Propaganda, pornography and laundry detergent advertisements may be funny, and serve as de facto comedy, but they are not officially comedy. 
Internet comedy, called Lulz, was initially just about cats and a few other cute animals. It was introduced in the 1950s, with dogs introduced within a year, after much demand in the UK. It also used the terrestrial internet through ground-based modems. Later, high speed via overhead and/or underground wiring and then 3G were introduced. More recently in the 21st century, lulz has increasingly moved from analog to digital technology. (Full article...)
 
Category:Comedy portal
Category:Portals/Intros
Portal:Comedy/Did you know

* ... that he more you drink, the funnier this is.
* ...that Comedy was invented by God when he created the Duck-billed Platypus? 
* ... a priest, a rabbi and a minister walked into a bar and ordered a drink. 
* ... that Karl Marx is considered the father of Comedism.
* ... that in Poland, Polish jokes are just called jokes.
* ... what is more disgusting than a pile of dead light bulbs?
* ...that Jesus is coming, so try and look busy.
* ....that no bumper stickers were harmed making this list.
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Found or created a decent article / image / quote / suggestion / idea / etc. on the subject of Comedy? 
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Category:Portals/Nominations
Portal:Comedy/Selected Articles

File:Alfred-hopeless.jpg|Alfred E. Neuman
File:Russell.jpg|British Sitcoms
File:Bkgeneral2.jpg|Buster Keaton
File:For Dummies.png|HowTo:Use Jokes Properly
File:Stiller.jpg|Innovations in Comedy
File:kkjoke-bad-app.jpg‎|Knock knock joke
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Portal:Comedy/Selected Biography

File:Charlie Chaplin.jpg|Charlie Chaplin
File:Chris-rock.jpg|Chris Rock
File:Donmartin2.jpg|Don Martin
File:Colbert.jpg|Stephen Colbert
File:Steven wright pic.jpg|Steven Wright
File:Tinafey5.jpg|Tina Fey
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Portal:Comedy/Selected Pictures

File:IronicM.JPG|The Pun Invasion of Uncyclopedia continues...
File:JESUS.gif|How dare you pull your piece out on the lanes, pendejo.
File:mexican.jpg|Regardless, a perfect Will Ferrell impression.
Karl for uncyc.PNG|Early photo of the 5 guys named Marx. Oddly enough, Karl Marx is the one taking the photo. After years of being dismissed as "comic relief" Karl would leave his brothers to become something even greater.
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Portal:Comedy/Selected picture/Comediadelarte

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Commedia dell'arte
This Picture is brought to you by dead people:
Commedia dell'arte, the closest translation being "comedy of craft", (shortened from commedia dell'arte all'improvviso, or "comedy through the art of improvisation") is a form of theatre that began in Italy in the mid-16th century characterized by masked "types", the advent of the actress and improvised performances based on sketches or scenarios.
Image credit:Karel Dujardin
Portal:Comedy/Things you can do

* Write: 
**Lenny Bruce • Louis C. K. • Johnny Carson • Dana Carvey • Craig Ferguson • Red Foxx • Rémi Gaillard • Terry Jones • Seth Meyers • Patton Oswalt • Seth Rogan • Jason Segel • Kristin Wiig • Gene Wilder
**Full list of requested articles
* Re-write: 
* Expand:
** Abbott and Costello
**and/or rewrite Carrot Top
 
* Review: 
Category:Deliberately expanded pages
Portal:Comedy/Things you can do/Moretodo

Write: 
*Will Arnett wikipedia:Will Arnett
*Lenny Bruce wikipedia:Lenny Bruce
*Louis C. K. wikipedia:Louis C. K.
*Johnny Carson wikipedia:Johnny Carson 
*Dana Carvey wikipedia:Dana Carvey 
*David Cross wikipedia:David Cross
*Craig Ferguson wikipedia:Craig Ferguson 
*Red Foxx wikipedia:Red Foxx 
*Rémi Gaillard wikipedia:Rémi Gaillard 
*Zach Galifianakis wikipedia:Zach Galifianakis
*Bill Hader wikipedia:Bill Hader 
*Ed Helms wikipedia:Ed Helms 
*Ken Jeong wikipedia:Ken Jeong 
*Terry Jones wikipedia:Terry Jones
*Sam Kinison wikipedia:Sam Kinison 
*Stephen Lynch wikipedia:Stephen Lynch 
*Jack McBrayer wikipedia:Jack McBrayer 
*Seth Meyers wikipedia:Seth Meyers 
*Bob Newhart wikipedia:Bob Newhart 
*Patton Oswalt wikipedia:Patton Oswalt
*Seth Rogan wikipedia:Seth Rogan 
*Jason Segel wikipedia:Jason Segel
*Gary Shandling wikipedia:Gary Shandling 
*Red Skelton wikipedia:Red Skelton 
*Kristin Wiig wikipedia:Kristin Wiig
*Gene Wilder wikipedia:Gene Wilder 
Re-write: 
*Emo Phillips wikipedia:Emo Phillips
Expand: 
Category:Deliberately expanded pages