PUBERTY

PUBERTY is a language created by User:Izumariu in 2018 with the intention to create a language that resembles a pubertal masturbation procedure.
It is not intended to find use in public business.
The language was written to explore a new way of programming.
==Language overview==
===Functional priciple===
The program begins by stating the date and the time, then the person is introduced,
and the kinks are listed, arousement level strongest to weakest. After that short
intro, the real code follows.
There are 6 byte-sized registers(A,B,C,D,E,F), all starting with value 0, which are used to manipulate data,
and a register pointer(called REGPTR), which is initialized with 0.
After an instruction is executed, REGPTR is taken mod 6 and REGISTERS[REGPTR] is taken mod 256. This is done
to prevent the values from a possible overflow.
===Intro===
First comes the date sentence. American date notation is used; the time zone is GMT.
Example:
 It is August 15, 2018, 04:32:06 PM.
This initializes $D to 1534350732(the Unix timestamp of the date)%256.
Second sentence uses the pattern [CHARACTER] is in (his|her|their) bed, bored.
Example:
 Izu is in his bed, bored.
This initializes $C to 3, the character count of the character's name.
Third sentence uses the pattern (His|Her|Their) secret (kink is|kinks are) <kink1>(, <kinks>).
Example:
 His secret kinks are fatfurs, inflation, growth and kitsunes.
Now the word "fatfur" equals 5, "inflation" equals 4, "growth" = 3 and "kitsunes" = 2.
This'll come in handy soon.
Fourth sentence(optional) uses the pattern (Suddenly|Then) ((he|she) spots|they spot) <kink>.
The matching personal pronoun from sentence 3 MUST be used here!
Example:
 Suddenly he spots fatfurs.
This initializes $A to 2^<kink>; so in this case $A=2^5=32.
If this sentence is left out, $A=0.
Fifth sentence is (Suddenly|Then|Soon) the following sounds become audible.
!This sentence needs to conclude the introduction!
After that, the program code follows.
===Commands===
Command 	Description
fap 	Increments the register pointed to by REGPTR by 1
ugh 	Zeroes the value of the current register
[KINK],fuck 	Increments the register pointed to by REGPTR by the value of [LINK]. IF USED ONCE, IT HAS A COOLDOWN OF 2^[KINK-2] FAPS.
[KINK],hnng 	Increments the register pointed to by REGPTR by 2^[LINK]. IF USED ONCE, IT HAS A COOLDOWN OF 2^[KINK-1] FAPS.
yeah 	Increments REGPTR by 1
yes 	Print the ASCII char corresponding to the value of the current register
oh 	Input an ASCII char and store its value into the current register
sigh or OMGMOMGETOUTTAHERE	Immediately halts the program
squirt 	Equivalent to yes yeah yes yeah yes yeah yes yeah yes yeah yes yeah
ngh [COMMENT] hhh 	Comment, will not be evaluated. There must be no comments in the Intro section.
hrg [LOOP] mmf 	Loop until current register is zero
==Examples==
===Hello, world!===
 It is June 12, 2018, 03:02:04 PM. Izu is in his bed, bored.
 His secret kinks are vore, fatfurs, inflation, growth and kitsunes. Then he spots
 fatfurs. Soon the following sounds become audible.
 
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap yes ngh Print 'H' hhh
 
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap yes ngh Print 'e' hhh
 
 yeah yeah yeah yes yes ngh Go to register D, which has the ASCII value of 'l' stored(due to date&time), and print it twice. hhh
 fap fap fap yes ngh Increment $D three times, which results in 'o', and print it. hhh
 yEAH YeaH fAtfURs,hNNg yEAH ngh Zero $F, then set it to 32 and go to $A. (also demonstration of case-insensitive commands here!) hhh
 fap fap inflation,hnng ngh Increment $A by 1+1+16=18, so it becomes 'w' hhh
 
 yeah fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap vore,hnng
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap ngh This paragraph adds 47 faps and a "vore,hnng"(64), so $B=111(='o') hhh
 
 yeah fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap vore,hnng
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap ngh Using the previous paragraph again, but because $C was initialized with 3, it is now 114(='r') hhh
 
 yeah ugh fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fatfurs,hnng yeah ngh $D is set to 'l' again hhh
 
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
 fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap vore,hnng ngh Increment $E by 36+64; $E is now 100(='d') hhh
 
 yeah squirt ngh Goes to $F and prints $F+$A+$B+$C+$D+$E = " world" hhh
 
 ugh growth,hnng kitsunes,fuck yes ngh Print a newline hhh
 
 sigh ngh Not actually needed; just to conclude this program nicely hhh
===Cat program===
 It is January 1st, 1970, 12:00:10 AM. Ganymede is in his bed, bored. His secret kinks are vore, 
 fatfurs, inflation and growth. Soon the following sounds become audible.
 fap hrg yeah oh yes ugh yeah yeah yes yeah yeah yeah mmf
===Truth-machine===
 It is June 13th, 2018, 08:42:40 AM. Izu is in his bed, bored. His secret
 kinks are balloons, rubber, fat, thighs, butts and moobs. Suddenly the following sounds become audible.
 
 oh balloons,hnng rubber,hnng thighs,hnng
 
 hrg
 fat,hnng fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap 
 hrg
 yes
 mmf
 mmf
 
 fat,hnng fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap yes sigh
==External resources==
The official PUBERTY GitHub Repo, complete with examples and an interpreter written in Ruby.
Category:Languages
Category:2018
Category:Joke languages