nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
So um, where is the chapstick?

So, one day I was sucking EVIL PATRIXXX's dick and I noticed my lips were chapped. I announced "OH SHIT MA LIPS ARE GONNA EXPLODE!" (Still while sucking our supreme overlord's dick) and let go of my grip and then ran outside of his "whore-house FOR MANLY MEN, BITCH". (Seriously it was called that.)
So when I got home I walked into my sister's room. (being 20 years old, I usually rely on my sister for advice) she had a dildo and was sucking it. (I still remember when we went to the sex-toy shop to get it) I said "GIVE ME THE FUCKIN DILDO!" and stole it from her.
I shoved it in my mouth and my lips started bleeding. I said "Oh yeah, my lips are chapped. Give me some chapstick, woman!" and I bitch-slapped her stupid face.
She gave me one of those sissy-ass eos things and it was empty. I threw it at her stupid bitch face and screamed "FUCK YOU YOU WHORE EVIL PATRIXXX WILL GET YOUR ASS!" she laughed hysterically and replied "I will drive you to Target and buy you one of those tubes of chapstick you squeeze and the shit you put on your lips comes out. I know you like to fap with those, so consider it a treat!"
I was not pleased. I fucked her and then cut her head off and tied it around the saddle of my horse and drove my horse to Target like a real fuckin man.
I met EVIL PATRIXXX there and sucked his star shaped cock in the kids section. A few kids came by and EVIL PATRIXXX  gave them a poisened Icee. (You know, those those slurpy things they sell at target) Then I said "Oh shit, I was gonna buy chapstick!"
We rushed down to the butt-plug section. (You know, the section EVERY Target has) We dropped cocaine and cooked meth and then we planted c4 and fled Target.
It exploded. Someone told us Shrek was snorting the coke and was about to smoke the meth when he EXPLODED!
So we 69'd in the parking-lot of Gamestop and then went inside Gamestop and asked for chapstick. The dude at the register said they don't have any chapstick. so we raped him and stole all the shit from Gamestop then played ALL the games. And then a skeleton popped out. Then I asked "So um, where's the chapstick?"
THE END, BITCHES.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:English Class Failure
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
So yeah, I got this game from the App Store...

It's a game called "Blank Adventures". I don't know what it's about yet, but I'm going to play it now so I can know what it's about. See ya later.
__NOTOC____NOEDITSECTION__
== Update: January 9th, 2017 ==
I played the game. There was nothing but a white screen. That was dumb.
== Update: January 10th, 2017 ==
I just heard a gunshot outside. Should I be worried? Or is it my best friend playing with that stupid Nerf Gun of his? I hate that Nerf Gun. It has the loudest sound of all Nerf Guns. He's 25, he shouldn't even be playing with Nerf Guns.
== Update: January 11th, 2017 ==
I just heard that gunshot sound again. You know what? I'm going to take that Nerf Gun away from my best friend, break it into pieces, and throw them into the garbage disposal. That's how pissed off I am about that motherfucking sound.
== Update: January 12th, 2017 ==
I interrogated my friend after not finding his Nerf Gun anywhere in his house. He was like, "You schizophrenic or somethin', mental patient? I never had it." And I was like, "WHA?! But we play with it together all the time!" And he was like, "That was YOUR Nerf Gun, dumbass bitch. You be trippin' or somethin'." And I was like, "... Oh."
== Update: January 13th, 2017 ==
Bad news, guys. My iPad is gone. I can't find it anywhere. But I did find a note that said this: "Your iPad... *puts on sunglasses* ...has just turned into a blank. YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!"
== Update: January 14th, 2017 ==
Guess what? MY WHOLE FUCKING HOUSE HAS DISAPPEARED! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AERGRKAEGFAKDAEOHUAOGHRAEUIFRAFRAFRAWUIFAW IFUCKINGHATEMYLIFEIWILLENDITALLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
== Update: January 15th, 2017 ==
Sorry about that tantrum I had yesterday. I'm now living in the streets with my phone. The battery is now 2%. Before my battery dies, I just want to tell you all one thing.
I guess...
puts on sunglasses*
...my life has just became a blank.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Jornel
Category:Shortpasta
Soap or no soap?

Soap: Yes or no?
Ruh roh, my pee pee hurts! X_X
Owie! The soap hurt my pp! Don't put soap in your pp! 
Good for smell
Soap makes me smell better. It removes all the gamer gunk from COD and Doritos.
Kinda gay tho
Gay soap? I say yes! Gay people use soap.
Hot?
Soap can be pretty sexy. That's how my first point happened.
The taste is bad!
Someone told me to drink soap for better bones. I did. It tastes like shit!
Conclusion
Idk.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Soap worms

You probably don't know it, but there is a superior race on Earth! You probably think it's human, but it's not true! The government is hiding it from us! I'm going to tell you the truth... It turns out that there are creatures from outer space on our planet and their name is "Soapworms". So, the Soap Worms move around on little soap bubbles. If the bubble bursts and the Soap Worm breathes Earth's air, it will burn up almost instantly.
Now let me tell you more about the takeover of the world they are planning (Alas, there is VERY little information, because of the government's careful cleansing of information). Thanks to a very long investigation, I found out that a world takeover is planned as early as October 6, 2022! But I would not advise you to worry, as Elon Musk has promised to teleport all Earthlings to Mars by October 5, 2022!
Let's talk about what Soapworms look like. Imagine microscopic earthworms BUT made entirely of tiny bubbles.
Let's move on to some interesting facts:
1. I found only 3 pictures of Soapworms freely available on absurdopedia.net (There is a lot of useful information on this site)
2. A live Soap Worm was captured by NASA back in 1978.
3. In 2004, a certain "High Voltage Mayonnaise" posted on the website 4chan about a strange worm that sits in a soap bubble. His account was soon deleted...
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Beings
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
Soda Pop Death

I look over at a soda can laying discarded on the sidewalk. I take it into my hands, caressing it dearly.
"They cracked your neck, Drank your blood, Crushed your body, And laid on earth instead within it"
I say softly. Raise it one last time in memory and put in a bin. Recycle.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Some Cereal

It was in the dead of night that night. Outside, it was cool and crisp, and the crickets sung their song. My bedroom was pitch black, and the air was still and silent.
There I lay, trying to sleep in my bed, tossing and turning restlessly; in the middle of the night, somehow I couldn't sleep. 
There shouldn't have been sound at this time of night... but it was in my own home. I could hear the sound of cardboard ripping and plastic crinkling loudly. Then, there was a quieter noise: some subtle... clinking? I don't really know, I don't remember. All I know is, it happened all so slowly, lasting almost two minutes until the agonizing noise stopped. Almost as if it was trying to be quiet.
 
Surely I was just hearing things. I lived alone in this house, after all; no one else should be here except for me. Well, I just wanted to sleep, but I went to go investigate anyway and see if I could resolve it.
There was someone in my home. A man, about my height, and of unremarkable features. He was eating a bowl of cereal. The refrigerator was open, the carton of milk was out, and there was my box of cereal sitting on the counter. With his mouth full, the guy just raised a finger to his mouth and went, "Shhh. This is just a dream. You'll wake up soon enough."
Of course, being the indescribably sleepy being that I was, I just stared at him with annoyed disbelief, and dragged my feet back to my room regardless. I quite don't remember what happened next, but I think I died because the guy shot me. There was the sound of a gunshot behind me as I ambled back to my bedroom and I collapsed onto the floor in pain.
And then, it was morning. I awoke in my bed and everything was fine and normal and I wasn't hurt.
Though, what I did find particularly disheartening was an empty bowl, with milk and cereal crumbs, sitting in my kitchen sink.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Some Girl's Adventures Lost Episode

I used to be a huge fan of Some Girl's Adventures, but not anymore.
In 2001, I was an intern at Cartoon Network Studios. But in 2009, I resigned and became a normal passerby.
One day, I was looking for some episodes of Some Girl's Adventures. I watched them all, and they were perfect. I went to the street to look for tapes, until I found one: "Some Girl's Adventures Lost Tape". I then looked at a letter that was next to the tape: " WHOEVER FINDS THIS MUST TEAR THIS TAPE TO SHREDS!!! S0E00 SOME GIRL'S ADVENTURES DO NOT WATCH AT ALL COSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!". I was like: "Hey! I want to watch SGA right now! It's my favorite show!". I played the tape on my computer, it created a file: psychogirlscary.avi. I watched the episode. It was unusual and weird, the intro played normally, but the characters have hyper-realistic eyes full of hyper realistic BLOOD!!!11!!!1 The title screen appeared, written in hyper realistic blood. The music sounded eerily similar to Happiest Day's title card music. It began with Some Guy, Some Girl's boyfriend, tearing his eyes out. It was hyper realistic, not cartoony and hyper realistic blood began to ooze. There was static for 2 minutes. Then Some Girl was crying, while the music is the one used where Natsuki kills Yuri in Happiest Day. Some Girl's crying wasn't animesque or cartoony at all, it was very hyper realistic, like it came from a real woman. Then Some Girl's eyes began bleeding hyper realistic blood, and after that, they showed clips from Happiest Day, mainly the girls' deaths. Static for 5 minutes. Then Some Girl killed Some Guy, in a very hyper realistic and hyper disturbing way. Then, Some Girl killed herself, with the scream used in Naomi's death in Satsuki-chan! I was crying! I HEARD A BLAST OF SUPER LOUD STATIC CAME UP. Then we got a hyper realistic image of Some Girl and Some Guy having hyper realistic blood in their clothing, with a Russian text written in hyper realistic blood. It was so quick that I didn't have time to translate it to English. 
A YEAR LATER
A year has passed, and I found out what the Russian text means; it means: Death is our only release. I will never watch Some Girl's Adventures ever again.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:I WAS AN INTERN AT
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Suicide
Some Mates

I just got a PS2 emulator with SpongeBob Atlantis SquarePantis from a mate and I just decided to download a couple of games that I already had. I thought I would start off with real easy games like F1 05, Arcade USA. I played Arcade USA but that was boring and laggy. Then I played F1 05 that was pretty boring after a while. Then I played SpongeBob.
SpongeBob was pretty good 'till the first person chapter; you start off being Sandy holding Squidward like a gun shooting ping pong balls. As the level went on I went around a corner and I saw Man Ray. He punched me in the face and I fell on the floor. Then Squidward came up with red eyes and was punching me violently. (Well obviously) I was shitting bricks. I quit.
I went up to my mate and I asked him "What the fuck?" he was just smiling and staring me down really creepy. I stole my mate's USB and snuck into a computer room. The USB was called 'Hello hahaha'. Only one folder was on it called PS2 with a red smile face as an icon. I clicked on it and it had a shit load of configuration files I've never seen before and one game: Atlantis SquarePantis. The bell went off.
My mate went home and said he was feeling sick at the end of school. I went home then I went on Facebook I got a message from my mate saying "Did you like it?" and "I know you stole my USB." It's like he wanted me to find it. The next day I found out that my mate committed suicide. I destroyed the USB and deleted the file. That smile will never get out my head.
Originally uploaded in 2011
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:SpongeBob
Category:Vidya games
Category:Suicide
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Some Morky Mick Moose Mouse Thing Involving Leonard Maltin?

Leonard Maltin found this weird Mickey Mouse cartoon called suicidemouse.avi.
He decided to watch it,
and he found out that it was just some fucking stupid loop of Mickey Mouse walking
The video blacked out
And then Maltin went "WHERE'S THE FUCKIN VIDYA AT"
The video came back, but it was different
Mickey was now smiling
The buildings became floating goatse in midair
Mickey's face started to fall apart
Maltin got scared shitless and then left the room
He sent an employee to finish the video
Screaming was going on.
And then it cut to mickey's face with a broken music box playing
And then there was a Russian text that said "The sights of your asshole brings it is [sic] viewers back in"
After the video ended the employee said "Jesus Christ, what did I just watch?"
He then went out of the room and then he said "that was bloody stupid"
AND THEN RICHARD GERE WEARING AN ALADDIN COSTUME TOOK AN UPPER DECKER INTO WESLEY SNIPES' TOILET. EVERYTHING EXPLODED AND MALTIN WAS LAUNCHED INTO THE SKY, WHICH IS WHERE WE ARE NOW!!!
NOW HE IS IN THE CLOUDS. IT IS VERY VERY FUCKING NICE UP HERE. THERE ARE FLOATING GOATSES HERE, BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS!!!
MALTIN SAYS "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT I WAS JUST WATCHING SOME MORK MICK MOOKY MAUSE CARTOON??!?!? HOW DOES IT GET TO THIS!"
THEN THE ALADDIN GERE COMES IN IN WITH HIS MAGIC SHIT STAINED CARPET AND SHOUTS "WOOHOO, LET'S GET GREASY!!!!!!!!!!" AND PROCEEDS TO CHUG A WHOLE CAN OF OLIVE OIL. HE PUKES IT THE FUCK UP AND THE WHOLE PLACE IS BOTH GREASY AND ACIDIC.
MALTIN SAYS "FUCK THIS I AM OUT" AND LEAVES.
HE GOES TO THE MORKY MICK STREET WHERE THINGS ARE CHAOTIC AND WOBBLY AND SCREAMY. MICKEY IS THERE BUT HE'S NOT EVEN MICKEY ANYMORE.
HE IS...
NITLAM DRANOEL, MALTIN'S GREASY AS FUCK CLONE...BUT HE'S ALREADY DEAD FROM ALL THE GREASINESS
"NITLAM? AAAAAGGGH!" MALTIN YELLS, AS THE WHOLE STREET FLOODS WITH ACIDIC OLIVE OIL...AGAIN.
THEN, WESLEY CONFRONTS THE ALADDIN GERE.
HE SAYS "YOU'LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY TOILET YOU BITCH"
ALADDIN SAYS "I AIN'T PAYING YOU A LUMP O' MY GREASY SHIT. FUCK OFF."
WESLEY PUNCHES HIM AND HE DIES, BUT THE GREASY DAMAGE HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE TO THE GREASY EARTH.
DA GREASY END
"I'm sorry"
- Slap McBald
Category:Trollpasta
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Category:English Class Failure
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Lost Episodes
Some Random Scary TV Show

I Have Been Watching TV Shows Lately Mostly Cartoons When I'm Bored Or Just Got Done Doing My Chores And I Saw Some Scary Horror Shows Mostly And Lots Of Them Are Scary As Hell But This TV Show Is Even More Scarier! And I Was Curious What That Is About So I Just Check It Out. So Basically It's About Some Random Psychopathic Man Who Was Sent To The Insane Crime He Committed. He Got Executed For Killing Random Innocent Children Nonstop So That's Why He Was Sent To Hell. 
Anyways As The Continues We Meet The Little Demon As The Watcher To Make Sure This Man Doesn't Try To Escape Otherwise The Demon Will Just Punish Him Even More. And As The Demon Punishes The Man. The Man Has To Give Three Things What The Demon Wants In Order For Him To Stay Alive. And He Needs Some Kind Of Note Book That The Demon Somehow Keeps In One Of The Mysterious Creepy Faced Drawer And As The Show Continues This Psycho Man Is Hearing Some Random Voices From The Ghost Of The Dead Children That This Man Killed And The Demon Helps The Ghost Children To Torture This Man For Revenge For Killing Those Harmless Children. Anyways Later On The Demon's Mail Comes Around Sometime And The Man Is Forced To Get The Mail For The Demon And It's Forced To Read The Mail To The Ghost Children. And While This Man Is Finding Some Three Random Things To See What The Demon Wants The Demon Puts Some Random Weird And Creepy Looking Symbols To Give The Man The Hint To See What The Demon Wants And After The Man Found All Three Random Things The Man Is Sent To The Throne To Think About What The Demon Wants After That Man Finds Outs What The Demon Wants. The Demon And The Ghost Children Forced Him To Celebrate The Fact The Demon Got What It Wants Otherwise He Will Just Die Immediately And Forever.
That's Basically What The Plot Of The TV Show Is And If Your Wondering What The Title Of The Show Is Called. The Show Is Called Blue's Clues
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
Some Shitty Story I Wrote When I Was 7

Once on a scary night, there was a cruise ship called "The Blood Shark". The captin of the Blood Shark was a evil psychopath who killed people with his ax. He was wanted so he pertended to be a cruise ship captain so he bot a ship and changed his indetity. Then he killed people on the ship. He usually threw them over board but one day he killed a guy who was famos so he was scarred that someone would find the corps so he sewed a matress and put the guy inside and sewed it back up and put it in a room. Room 100, the worst room. It had cockroachs. But one day he started a new criuse and wellcomed everyone. There was a fat guy named George. George went to room 100 because he was tired and didnt want to pay more money. The fat guy sat on the matress and yawned "I am tired. I will take a nap". He smelled rotting meat. "Whatever" he said and passed out but his weight POPPED the matress. Chopped up limbs fell out and he screamed, "Ah! There is a dead guy! Help! Dead guy! Ahhhhhh! He's cut apart! Help! Captain! A dead guy!" The captin came and smiled. "Ha ha, it's just a Hallaween decoration!" George laughed, "Okay! Cool prank, dude! That was sweet, you scared me!" George left but he disappered 1.5 weeks later... The captain scartched his head, "What do I do?" He put the body parts in the storage, 'HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA" He cackled like the Wicked With of the West. But then 1year later a worker went into the storage and found the body parts moving around....THEY WERE REATTCHING!!! Four zombies appaered- four people the evil guy killed. "Eat his brains!" the zombie leader hollared. The worker screamed and got his shotgun from the emergeny area. He killed all the zombies and left.
BUT ONE OF THE ARMS STARTED MOVING.
THE END?
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Beings
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Wall of Text
Category:English Class Failure
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:That just raises more questions!
Category:Shortpasta
Some banned adult swim bumps

__NOTOC__
so you know how that channel adult douche (adult swim) has those weird comercials when it exits or comes back to a show right? those are called bumps and they put some bumps that were to long,inapropiate,violent,weird and more that got banned.
here are the fucking bumps bitches.
==bump 1==
a guy in a horse mask jumps off a biulding and then the biulding catches on fire and then words pop up saying
GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!
==bump 2==
a eagle was flying and it got shot by a person and he turns around with a horse mask. 
and words pop up saying only you can shoot birds. it then showed a picture of a pelican for 2 seconds.
==bump 3==
kermit the frog goes to a toilet and starts fapping with the music dr. sex playing.
sperm then comes out of a green puppet dick and some of it gets on duh camera. words then said HELP FAPPING FROGS.
==bump 4==
some naked fat guys dancing and the milkshake music is playing.
the guy then falls and can't get up.
==bump 5==
it shows a horse on somebodys roof and it then flys with raibows coming out of the horses ass and crashes into a twin tower
911...
==bump 6==
some guy stabs somebodys nose in the owl suit
and blood burstes and words say OWLS ARE SCARY!!!
==bump 7==
it shows a dog with a human face in 711 talking in some language for 5 minutes 5 MINUTES!!!
==bump 8==
it shows a guy with a sniper rifle with a horse mask shooting people.
it then shows him taking off the mask and under it is a unicorn mask.
==bump 9==
its the scary car comercial but the creature is replaced with a horse.
==bump 10==
it shows a toilet and birds fly out of it and a monster penis comes out and falls on duh ground
and words say swim adult.
==bump 11==
shrek is naked dancing and sonic comes and touches shreks butt
they then buttfuck each other.
==bump 12==
some guys fapping to porn and a alligator comes to him. the guy screams and the alligator eats the guys leg off with real blood.
and words come and say YOU SHOULDN'T FAP!!! GOD WILL PUNISH YOU!!!.
==bump 13 duh last one==
a turkeys running and gets hit by a car..
==extra...==
hi put some weird bumps with written and if you has a picture or vid put it all in duh comments...it can be usless...
see you all in hell!!!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:English Class Failure
Someone Ate My Fried Rice.EXE.MP4.WAV.PNG.JPEG

Hey guys, Timmy again, and oh boy do I have more spooky shit for you, if you remember last time a demon ate my toast, well I've moved on from toast and now I'm eating fried rice. A couple days I was playing Roblox.EXE 666 digital deluxe edition when I had a sudden hankering for Fried Rice, so I got my phone and ordered some from Satan's Chinese Restaurant and Grill. It took about 666 seconds for it to get here and something scary happened,
the same demon who ate my toast delivered my fried rice and ate it in front of me D: I asked him why he did that and he said he was sorry but he hadn't eaten since he last ate my toast two weeks ago,
I got upset and asked him not to do again and he said "no way, I'm going to eat all the fried rice in the world and you can't stop me haha hahaha" his laugh was very scary and hyper realistic. I cried and cried and cried and cried until I stopped crying and said "no way evil demon man, I won't let you!" I sounded very heroic when I said that.
He then said "oh really? And how will you stop me?" He said in a scary voice again that almost made me pee hyper realistically.
"I will tell your mom that you're being mean to me." I said to the mean scary man, he got scared and begged me not to do it but I did it any way and he got in trouble because his mom showed up and she told him to apologize to me for eating me rice and so he did and he cried hyper realistic tears.
The mom said that she will give me more fried rice and she did so now I'm enjoying fried rice. I feel very happy that I got the demon in trouble because now he will never bug me again.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:File Extensions
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Overused Running Gag
Category:Shortpasta