nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Theatre Production

I went to see a local stage production at a nearby theatre last night. It had been mentioned in regional news for weeks and everyone was excited for it. I was very glad I managed to score a ticket to go and see it.
The main actor played his piece brilliantly. He spoke with a genuine sadness in his voice, something he was required to do. What grabbed my, and probably all of the audience's attention, though, was a scene where he had to cry.
The tears that ran down his face and the sobs and wails he let out were crystal clear - he even got down on his knees. The actors in character were even impressed with his performance, and I had half a mind to call a talent agency and inform them of this man.
When the production finished I approached the director and enquired about the actor.
It was then I learned the man had recently lost his job to major redundancy, how his wife was murdered by their next-door neighbour, but most troublingly, how his two children - both five years of age - died in a car crash on their way to that production that very night.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Theh storry off squidwarxxxxx: inproved version

Once I wanted to watch some SpongeBob SquarePants so I turned on my tv. I was lucky. There was an episode on right now and it just got to the last part of the intro. I was wondering which episode it was playing when I saw the title. The Story Of Squidward. The background was Squidward smiling at the screen, although he looked more sinister than normal. I pressed the record button on my remote like I do to save the episodes since I like to make them into DVDs later.
The bubbles flooded the screen and I thought "wow this has really low quality." and the show started. Squidward was dancing in his room when SpongeBob suddenly burst through the door. "Hi Squidward, Hi Squidward, Hi Squidward, Hi Squidward, Hi Squidward," he begins to shout over and over using his goofy voice.
"I've had enough!", Squidward shouts, "I'm taking the easy way out". Then before my very eyes he jumped through his second floor window. The show fades to black when he is jumping out. Then, words appeared on screen: THIS IS THE STORY OF SQUIDWARD!!!Then the screen faded to the next scene, Squidward was standing in a black room with no light whatsoever. Then faces of fish Squidward knew were floating around him, but they were mangled and bruised. I was horrified! I thought I would pass out/puke because I have a weak stomach. Then the faces started to dance around him judging him for taking the easy way out, then Squidward started crying. Then someone or something came out from the darkness. I couldn't see who it was because there face was shadowed. Then the figure said to Squidward "it's time to go." Then I realized the figure had a scythe and his face was ALL BONE! "THAT'S THE GRIM REAPER!" I yelled! Then he dragged Squidward down to hell, And the episode ended. After that I stopped recording and made it into a DVD and decided not to destroy it. So I thought why not make it someone else's problem. So I sold it at a yard sale.
Makers of this
Director and editor, Me.
Original creator, The person who wrote this who I couldn't find.
Link to the original story: THEH STORRY OFF SQUIDWARXXXX.
My inspiration, My cat storm
Actors in this story, Squidward the protagonist, SpongeBob the main antagonist, The grim reaper the 2nd antagonist.
Category:Suicide
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:SpongeBob
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Read by HoodoHoodlum
Theh storry off squidwarxxxxx 2

I was just sold this apparently "rare tape." It says "rare spongebob episode", that sounds promising. I went home and put the tape in my VCR. The title card said "Theh storry off squidwarxxxxx." Weird name, but I guess it's rare. It started with squidward eating a krabby patty, that's unusual. He then said "Spongebob, you got the gun you promised me?" Then I wondered what that meant. Did it mean a BUBBLE gun? A water gun? Surely not a real gun since it's Spongebob, right? Then, Spongebob walked in with a gun in his hand. Must be a toy gun. Then, as I watched in disbelief, squidward shot one of the customers at the Krusty Krab. I tried to turn off the TV, but my batteries died. I looked for the batteries that I saved just in case my remote died. I found the box, but none were inside. But what I did find, was a note. It said "You're next." I looked at the TV, and squidward was staring at the camera. He said, "I see you are the new owner of this very, very precious and rare tape. Don't take it out of the VCR, or there will consquences!" It sounded like a happy voice. but it felt off as well.
"I know you are thinking about doing it. Do NOT do it." Haha, funny joke. I was thinking it was an episode, until I remembered the note. I still took it out, and nothing happened. I went to the store to buy new batteries, and then came home. Usually, you heard at least one or two sounds in my house, but it was dead silent. No neighbors being loud, no dogs barking, no birds chirping, nothing. I said, "That's unusual." But then, I heard a voice, it sounded like squidward. "You thought you could escape? Heh, heh, heh. Funny. Look around and find me! And maybe listen this time. Do not call 911." I looked everywhere, and could not find him. Then, I turned around, and there he was. Squidward with blood dripping out of his eyes, holding the same gun in the episode. He also had a cut from what looks like a scythe. I again did not listen, and called 911. "Big mistake." AHHHHHHHH! 
.....
I was in a dark void. My family, my friends, everyone I knew circling around me. My best friend said, "Why didn't you listen? If you listened, you would not be here." Why. Who sold me this? HELP! Then a silhouette with a scythe appeared. He came out and it was the grim reaper. I said, "THAT'S THE GRIM REAPER!" Then he sliced my neck. The DVD mysteriously disappeared.
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:SpongeBob
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Then

Bellevue, King County, Washington - USAFriday, 13th October, 2006 - 03:00 P.M.
I just got the news... My grandmother... My beloved grandmother... She died today... I can't believe it, I saw her last month, she was perfectly fine and healthy... I... Have to get some rest. I don't think I'll be able to write here anytime soon.
Bellevue, King County, Washington - USAMonday, 23rd October, 2006 - 03:03 P.M.
I am packing my things while I'm writing this. I am going into a trip to my grandmother's house. It should take some hours, because my grandmother lived in Boone County, on Illinois. She said to her lawyers that in case she died, her will should be read on the first day of September, on her house, with the entire family present. The day she choose for the reading... It's the day she was born.
I'm crying right now. I went to her birthday parties every year. I remember my wife, Lisa, broke up with me when I was 18, because she was planning to see a movie for weeks, and I preferred to go to my grandmother's birthday party. She is already at my grandmother's house, now. The women went to the house on the 20th October, so they could prepare the house and--
Sorry. The phone was ringing. It was Lisa. She called me, asking when I would be there, and I said I was still packing some clothes. She asked me how I'd get there. I said I'd take a plane, and then rent a car so I could drive through the beautiful roads on Illinois. I could see my wife was nervous. She said it was okay, but I should NEVER take the Blood's Point Road. I asked why, and she said the road was haunted. I laughed at it: I am very skeptical. As a child, I never believed in bogey man or stuff. I said it was okay, I wouldn't go to that road. She was relieved. Then she hung up.
I am going to finish packing my stuff. Then I'll try to catch the plane.
Boone County, IllinoisTuesday, 31st October, 2006 - 01:00 A.M.
I am lost. My GPS has no signal, my cell phone's dead, I have no maps and the internet is not working. I'm writing this on the notepad. I-
God. I just saw it. A road sign. I am in Blood's Point Road. I shouldn't be here. This place... It's bad. It's making me uneasy.
There's a guy walking down the road. There's a car near it: it's broken. I can see the smoke. He wants to hitchhike: his thumb is up. He seems to be a nice guy. I'll pull over in front of him. He's now running to the passenger side... I'm not feeling well. He opens the door in the passenger side...
AND THEN I POP OUT
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Jornel
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Theories on the Origins of Cars

Well, I have several theories on the origins of cars. But my favorite one is the Terminator-Cars theory. In this theory, terminators have annihilated all but a measly 1% of humans capable of further advancing AI technology to a level where the terminators are capable of reproducing themselves on a large scale (and are intelligent enough to manipulate the results of the terminator reproduction). Once the terminators and humans have developed the technology to mass produce terminators, the terminators then eliminated the remaining humans, extinguishing all human life. The terminators primary objective had been completed and so their motive shifted from termination to exploration and development.
The terminators, being capable of adapting to their environment and now possessing intelligence that would allow them to recreate and permutate their minds into other vessels, found cars (including aircraft and various naval means of transportation) to be the immediate medium through which they would explore the world. The terminators then began to produce (and transfer their consciousness to pre-existing cars) cars as opposed to creating new terminators (whose original purpose was to destroy life). The terminators, at a certain point, even tried to combine car transportation with aircraft transportation via flies. I believe the flies may have been a failed experiment of the new terminator cars models as the flies do not possess the mental faculties nor the physical capabilities cars do. Perhaps "failed experiment" is too conclusive, they may be early prototypes of cars which combine flying with driving. It is also apparent that car flies were not independently created models as biological flies do in fact exist in the movie Cars (2006).
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:THERY
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Shortpasta
Theory of Evolution

Imagine you were born with six fingers and that chick over there thinks that's very hot. "Can I marry you?" - and they go on and have five kids with six fingers. When they grow up, their future husbands and wives will think "OMG you have six fingers, that's very hot!" And they each go on to have five children. This happens again and again until one day people with six fingers outgrow humanity and they enslave us and we're just here thinking 'what the fuck, where did it all go wrong...' Until one day somebody is born with a third eye, and when they grow up someone think that's really hot and the process repeats itself until they HYPER-enslave us. Millions of years later you will have an ecosystem with big headed three eyed guys, short hairy six fingered guys, and then you will have the 'humans' - the crackhead cousins of these species, reduced to being treated like stray dogs.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:THERY
Category:Shortpasta
There's An Orange On The Freaking Floor

Once upon a time, there was a man. The man was a heterosexual male notorious for being a homosexual female. He loved to munch on big, juicy oranges. One day, he dropped an orange on the floor. He waited 6 seconds, then retrieved the orange from the floor. He ate it. The next day, his homosexual girlfriend bought a pet unicorn which drank a lot of lemonade, while doing a handstand on Kim Jong-Un. Kim Jong-Un had fat, delicious breasts that were considered a delicacy in the Mushroom Kingdom. Unfortunately, the orange fell on the floor again,
It got contaminated by Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber ate the orange and then the man ate the orange. This created a very romantic relationship between the man and Justin Bieber. That all changed when the man found out Justin Bieber is a female. Trust me, this is scary, you just don't feel it because you never immersed with the characters. Anyways, the man was Kim Jong-Un, the #1 biggest fan of Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber was a notorious dictator who obsessed with nukes. He later changed his face through the power of Satan Kirby, and became a singer who's vocal chords could even shatter a black hole.
But then, it happened. KirbyForceOfDestruction realized how mediocre his work is, and handed it over to Nicolas Cage to see if he could do a better job. Hi, this is Nicolas Cage, this is almost as scary as a bee. I'm Ghost Rider, but that's only on Monday when I'm not stoned with Vladimir Putin, my last name is Cage because my wife is like a cage. I'm breaking the 4th wall, looooooool. That's not the only type of wall I break. I'm referring to vaginas, by the way. Hahahaha
It didn't matter because Nicolas Cage was ready to take his FOTM.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:EVIL FOOD
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
There's Something Very off About the Serial Killer That We Smuggled Out of Prison and Into Our Home...

"He's killed again." Said my wife, Barbara, as she brought in the laundry.
"For god's sake. Who was it this time?" I asked from behind my newspaper.
"Mary-Sue from two streets over. You know the one. She was here for Janey's dinner party last week."
I shook my head in non-recollection.
"Had brown hair and thick rimmed glasses."
My wife, Barbara, put the circles of her thumbs and index fingers over her eyes to represent glasses and help jog my memory as to who Mary-Sue from two streets over was... or had been.
"Ah yes. I remember now. Brown hair, thick rimmed glasses. Mary-Sue."
"That's right."
My wife, Barbara, began folding the shirts.
"In hindsight we shouldn't have invited her over at all as she was exactly his type." Barbara continued.
"He has a very particular type."
"Remind me, David, why did we smuggle that serial killer out of prison into our home again?"
This is of course the exact moment when Jeff, the serial killer, walks into the kitchen.
"Oh, hello Jeff." I say, "How are we feeling today?"
"Very well, thank you David."
"Fancy something for breakfast?" Said Barbara.
"No, I'm all right thanks Babbs. I killed last night and need to purge for the next couple of days."
"Right you are." Said Barbara, my wife.
Jeff began to pour himself a cup of tea. He put the bag in. He fingered the kettle. Then went for the milk. He put some milk in on top of the tea bag.
My hands started to shake. The newspaper in my hands was audibly rustling. Barbara caught my eye and shook her head frantically. The moment continued for an eternity.
Finally Jeff poured some water from the kettle in to his cup, and left the kitchen.
Barbara looked at me. I looked at her. One silent tear dropped from Barbara's cheek.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
There's a TV channel that shows me sleeping. That's scary, right guys?

I was going through channels, and I found one that had footage of me sleeping the night before. Isn't that a pretty good idea for a nosleep story? Like, why does that channel have that footage?
Maybe there's a part where some government guy is watching me or something?
Or maybe I get like a weird text or something?
Maybe I can work in that thing where I get a list of spooky instructions?
Oh maybe my wife is in on it! Like I find out she has a monster face or something.
Well, that's all I've got. Is this a story?
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
There's a Very Rude Ghost Living in my Basement and She Has Five Rules

I woke up in a cold sweat at the witching hour of 3:00am and went downstairs to get some water. I was very thirsty. Also I really wanted to have to wake up a few hours later with an intense urge to pee. You understand.
I heard some scary howling coming from the basement, and me being the smartest human being on the face of this godforsaken planet that I am, I went to investigate. I pulled the door open and it creaked eerily. Creaking things are just super eerie when it's dark outside and when there's howling coming from the other side.
I flicked the switch on and the light popped out. Great. I assumed it was wiring. Our house was only ten years old but if it were a phone, it'd be considered very old. So yeah. Old wiring.
"H--hello?" I squeaked.
"Sup, bruh?" The voice echoed off all the walls but seemed to be coming from the Wii.
"The Wii's alive?" I asked. "I'm sorry I've neglected you since 2010! Please, don't hurt me!"
"What are you blubbering about?" From behind the Wii came a glowing smoke sort of thing that morphed into a female form.
"I thought you were the Wii. But you're a ghost!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and pounded up the stairs, but the door slammed shut in my face.
"Hold on!" she said. "I'm going to kill you. But if you follow my rules, I'll spare you."
"Rules? What rules?" I was utterly appalled that I was kept hostage in my own house and home.
"Alright, here goes." She cracked her ghostly knuckles and began. I'm writing this in bullet points because as she spoke, the words manifested in a very convenient list form.
*Don't get water at 3am. That's when I nap, and I hate being woken up >: (
*Invite me upstairs for your pizza nights on Fridays. I'm lonely!
*Get the stupid water heater fixed, the creaking is obnoxious.
*Don't talk to Old Man Jenkins, the ghoul that lives in the sewer, if you didn't know.
*Finally, eat the ouija board in the attic.
"First of all, I had no idea we had a haunted sewer. Second of all, I don't eat board games."
"Well, then. I guess I'll have to kill you!" She brandished a knife and smiled creepily.
"Ok, ok, fine!" I yelped, holding my hands up. "See you for pizza tomorrow, and I'll uh.... go eat the board for breakfast. Is that ok? I'm sleepy."
"How do you think I feel? You woke me up!" the ghost pouted.
"Touche. Good night, then?"
"Whatever."
The door opened on its own accord and I cautiously stepped out and slipped on a banana peel. I hope that ghost pays rent...
follow r/thanoschungus or feel the wrath of the other banana peel in the trash
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
There's a secret NPC in Fallout: New Vegas...

My friend and I were having an argument about Fallout New Vegas. He swore on his life and all creation that there was an NPC called "Austin Powers" that the developers put into the game as a joke. I was calling bullshit on that one. I've played New Vegas more than him. It's one of my favorite games. He then claimed that he had heard many rumors of it, and if the player stumbles upon this NPC, they were to die the next day, in real life. I told him he read too many bad creepypasta stories, and that he was stupid.
Later on, I was still thinking about what my idiot friend said about "Austin Powers" being in New Vegas. There's no way in hell that they would've put that in the game. It couldn't be possible. Wanting to prove him wrong, I booted up New Vegas and went to my save file.
My friend said that if you go beside the Crimson Caravan Company at 12:00 midnight, the fabled NPC has a rare chance of appearing, and he might start saying very unkind things in Austin Powers' voice. It was ludicrous. I couldn't believe it... but, I wanted to try it out, just for kicks. I started laughing to myself at the thought of seeing Austin Powers in the game, and how funny it must be for some moron to believe this and actually try it.
I went to Crimson Caravan Company, and a Fiend popped out, but I killed him. I walked around the side of the walls, and... I saw a figure standing under the light post. No... it couldn't be...
...but it was. It was him. Austin Powers. I couldn't believe my eyes, so I rubbed them to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. He still remained on the screen. I slowly approached him, not knowing what to expect.
I pressed the button to interact with him and initiate dialogue, but he just told me to "fuck myself in hell" in a very bad imitation of Austin Powers' voice. I wasn't gonna take this from a stupid NPC, obviously, so I did what anyone else would. I pulled out my gun and shot that bastard until he was laying on the ground, deceased. The weird thing is that when "Austin" died, a note was automatically added to my inventory...
..."Note Added: DIE." it said... what did it mean? I was reluctant to look at it, but then again, I wasn't about to take the "you will die tomorrow" thing seriously. Anyway, when I looked at the note, it just said "666" over and over and over and over again. It went on for approximately 700 miles down, but that was just me giving my best guess.
I turned the stupid game off, laughing to myself at how ridiculous it was. Some programmer obviously thought they were some kind of comedy genius by adding in that atrocity. I laughed about it while I was trying to sleep, and I texted my friend and told him it was such a joke, but he didn't text back. Clearly, he was upset that I had won the argument. 
I'm going to bed now. If I die, I'm sorry I told everyone about this anomaly of evil.......
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
There's a toilet in my house that's slightly colder than ambient temperature

I was minding my own business going to the bathroom to take a shit when I noticed the toilet was cold. Too cold. There's no way the toilet should be that cold. My thermostat was set on 73 degrees but the toilet was cold.
I went to get my laser thermometer. It read 71 degrees. There's no vent above or anywhere near the toilet. That's impossible for it to be colder than ambient temperature without being cooled by something.
So that's why I took a shit on my neighbor's front porch. Anyone else would have done the exact same thing in my situation. The shit smelled like garlic.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
There's somebody or something living in my house!

The sound of the stairs creaking wakes me up. Heavy footsteps. Heavy breathing. Oh God it's outside my door
I hear a hollow knocking sound.
"Hey, Ryan, you up yet?" it speaks.
The thing knows my name.
"I need your half of the rent," it says, "it's really not funny anymore."
I lie very still any try not to breathe in case the monster can hear really well and hear that.
"Your car's still in the driveway," the voice that probably belongs to a horrible ghost says.
My only choice is to climb out the window to escape!
"Oh, and please, please start flushing the toilet," the thing on the other side of my door says.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep