Wyld Stallyns

Wyld StallynsNot to be confused with "Wyld Whorses" by the Rolling Bones were a San Dimas California-based progressive punk metal rock band formed in 1988 by Bill S. Preston Esq. (guitar) and Ted Theodore Logan (guitar). They were joined by Rufus (guitar) who quit within a single dayOr several million years, depending on your point of view. to pursue a lucrative career as a history professor which he claimed was "The job of the future." He was replaced by the princesses (synthesizer and synthesizer). The band maintained a massive fanbase of exactly 0 fans until 1991, when Bill and Ted were allegedly murdered by robots from the future who wanted to prevent them from creating a better future for mankindThey later redacted their claims that the robots looked just like their governor, except nude and somehow managed to get DeathThe man formerly known as "Life" (Bass violin) and Station Station Station station station station station Station station station station Station station. (bongos). *AIR GUITAR*
==Early History==
As you know, Wyld Stallyns was founded in 1988 by Bill S. Preston Esq. and Ted Theodore Logan in San Dimas, California. The early years were difficultThey couldn't play their instruments, couldn't get Van Halen to join the band, only had guitar players... and they would have flunked history class if not for an odd older man Who had an unusual amount of interest in the personal lives of these teenage boys... who loaned them his time phone booth and told them to go nuts. First, they "acquired" NapoleonFor no reason. Then they called Atlantis collectWith less than ideal results and nearly met the original Iron Maiden"Iron Maiden?" "Excellent!" *Air guitar* while kidnapping a pair of princesses (who would later join the band).At least it was better than ever going back to England They also met SocratesPronounced "So-Crates" who was inspired to make a band of his own.
==Rise to Obscurity==
The next few years were tough. They were kicked out of their parents' homes, got worse at playing guitar,Despite all odds! and spent some time as cartoons.Really! However, their luck quickly improved and they were brutally murderedThey got better just in time for their late night speech.
==Success==
After being killed, Bill & Ted met up with Death.Which is really Bergmanesque, but you Uncyclopedians wouldn't care. With Death, they were sent to hell. Wyld Stallyns didn't have much success in hell, since most of the people there listen to Kenny G anyway. After beating Death at Twister.Another Bergmanesque motif. Watch out! Death takes them to heaven, and they get their first big gig there, playing for Einstein, Confucius, George Washington and most of the Allman Brothers. Also, God gives Bill & Ted superpowers so they can play cool. They melvined Death also.Excellent! They got Station, a Russian scientist alien scientist, to build them robot Bills & Teds to kill the evil robot Bill & Teds that killed them and took their babes.NAH WAY!
Ted's hardass father wants Wyld Stallyns to play in the San Dimas Battle of the Bands,In an attempt to destroy any remaining self confidence they have leftWhich is one of the corner stones of good parenting, by the way because he doesn't like Bill & Ted,So totally NOT bodacious and after a tense match with evil Bill & Ted, Wyld Stallyns played, with their time machine, wildly realistic pyrotechnics, and music good enough to beat even Primus!PRIMUS!
Bill & Ted, with the help of DeathWho's a good guy now, by the way, invent world peace, and the planets align. Eventually, by 2689, the world is peaceful. Bowling scores are at an all-time high and golfing scores at an all-time low. And the world is in harmony, all thanks to Bill & Ted, who became immortal by melvining Death.
==Concerts==
Wyld Stallyns have always been known for their wild and unsolicitedAnd occasionally unwanted concerts. When this happens, history is generally torn a new one.Or they create a stable time loop, which is much more common, but slightly less dramatic 
Notable concertsIn relative order, as opposed to chronological include:
* Library of Alexandria (48 BC) - The pyrotechnics misfired and burned the place to the ground.
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* Chicago, Illinois (1871) - The noise spooked a cow; Burned the place to the ground
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* Atlantis (N/A) - Bill broke a string; Entire continent destroyed
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* Library of Alexandria (~273) - During the apology for their last visit, Ted bumped into a lamp; Burned the place to the ground
It is worth noting that their concerts are generally much less destructive, and these are merely the few that got out of hand.
==Discography==
* Wyld Stallyns (1991)
* Wyly Stallyns III (1991)
* Drunk Dialing: The Best of the Rufus Years (1993) (recorded in 1988)
* Wyld Stallyns II (1994)Their 2nd and 4th albums were released out of order due to executive meddling from the future!
* Sudden Infant Death Metal (1995) Only album without Death on bass
* Be Excellent to Each Other (c. 1996)
* Album 9 From Outer Space Regarded by fans as the worst album ever recorded.It was certified as 100x Diamond, and had their biggest single that remained at the top of the charts for several years
==Associated Acts==
* The Socratic Four
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* Beeth Oven
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* The Dirty Seven
==Assorted Notes==
==See Also==
* Station (language)
* Wyld Stalins
Category:Alternative universes
Category:Awesome People
Category:Bands That Your Mom Secretly Listens To While You're At Work/School/Whatever It Is You Do During The Day
Category:Bill & Ted
Category:Considered By Most to Be the Best Band Ever
Category:Immortal 
Category:People in Hell
Category:Time Travelers
Category:Time travel