Chicken Duck Woman Thing

A creature of mythical proportions. Having a chicken head with duck feet with a woman's face. Originally from the dark side of The Force but remains somewhat of a mystery. It was never officially proven that the chicken duck woman thing was responsible for the crispy bodies by the door of Luke's desert hang-out. But it was the accepted narrative that it was the cause of said crispy bodies by the door. Being an enemy so terrible that it cannot be defined without extra nouns added to its title and appearance. An entity capable of ripping off your dad's face. A freak of nature that waits in the bushes for you. It waits in a variety of bushes, but prefers waiting in the bushes of love.
== A Long Time Ago ==
Luke Skywalker's father was killed by the chicken duck woman thing according to Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan told the tale of Luke's father and himself fighting the beast forty-nine times. Luke thought the description of the creature was rad. But Obi-Wan explained the fact that there was a huge mess and that he had to change the floors. Luke was naturally surprised as Obi-Wan related how the blood drained into the boards causing him to change them. Following this, Obi-Wan warned Luke that everyone all has a chicken duck woman thing waiting for them. And that everyday he worries all day, about what's waiting in the bushes of love. About a chicken duck woman thing waiting in the bushes for everyone. Waiting in the bushes of love.
Luke confided in Obi-Wan about his dad. Telling him that he didn't know his father and that his father just didn't care about him. His heart was troubled as he spoke about the dead horizon and that was all his macro-binoculars could ever see. He worked as a moisture farmer all his life. He was so skilled at it that he could claim that not a drop was ever spilt. But his life was basically desert living, with his aunt and uncle, with double suns in the sky, and sipping blue milk. He was sick of blue milk.
Obi-Wan's presence in Luke's life at that point was that of a desert hobo who came and told him about the chicken duck woman thing. Who was waiting in the bushes of love.
== In A Galaxy Far, Far Away ==
Obi-Wan now contented to have warned Luke of the danger, asked Luke to hold him when he might open like a flower. Telling him to hold him right. He confessed that he hadn't baked for a girl in a long time. A long time. But Luke informed Obi-Wan that his cooking was awesome. But Obi-Wan had a picture of some girl in a photo wagon. Luke reminded Obi-Wan that he keeps it popping, referring to his cooking. Which one could rightfully guess as simply cooking popcorn. That was awesome. Obi-Wan stated that the girl in his photo wagon would probably love to honky tonk. Luke's robot R5-D4 repeated Obi-Wan's chant about his girlfriend loving to honky tonk. Obi-Wan commented back with how he had said that. Then he hummed a tune.
Luke then had some flashbacks of his life. He used to ride across the desert. He used to glide on his speeder. And he'd pray that he wouldn't find what he didn't want to find around the corner. With a lament of oh no no, his flashback continued, and he prayed that he wouldn't find any more crispy bodies by the door. But there were crispy bodies by the door anyway. And Luke did find them.
== The Bushes of Love ==
It became well known by that time that it was forty-nine times, and that it might be waiting for Luke. Obi-Wan told him that it could be hiding behind a scrap pile. Since it was a little different than the bushes of love, Luke figured it was just a big cow. Obi-Wan comforted Luke saying that he knew he really wanted someone to hold him, but that there was still a chicken duck woman thing waiting for them. And that every day he worries all day. About what's waiting in the bushes of love.
Luke was then struck by a sandy goggled man thing. When he came to, he told Obi-Wan about a dream he had of a cute girl who kept kissing him over and over. Obi-Wan told Luke that there was something he had to tell him about her. And to remind him later.
== See Also ==
Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker singing all about it
Category:Things you'll find wandering the streets of New York City
Category:Star Wars
Category:Things that may be out to get you