The Eye of Argon

The Eye of Argon is a 1970 original sword-and-sorcery story by Jim Theis, a science fiction fan who was sixteen years old at the time of its publication. It was printed in the fanzine OSFAn #10 (Ozark SF Society), it was distributed widely from fan-to-fan, and was later circulated on USENET. The story became infamous in fan and literary circles, and is sometimes referred to as the "worst story/fantasy novel ever written"The Eye of Argon at the Internet Speculative Fiction DatabaseHave You Read “The Worst Story Ever Written?” Clear Your Schedule! by Charlie Jane Anders, at gizmodo.com. It has been the common subject of turkey readings and games at conventions. Although, often the target of mockery, it has its defenders, and in recent years there has been a great deal more sympathy for the author, who was a teenager at the time it was writtenThe Tragic Story Behind The Worst Fantasy Book Ever Written, video essay by Dominic Noble.
==Summary==
A plot summary provided by reddit user Upbeat_Ruin (2024):
Although an original story, it is a rather obvious pastiche of Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian.
==Sample Pages==
File:Eyeofargon1.jpg|cover of OSFAN #10
File:Eyeofargon2.jpg|first page
File:Eyeofargon3.jpg|page with sample illo, the artist is possibly Theis, but no credit is given 
==An Early Pass-Around Story==
The story was passed around in science fiction fannish communities, often without the author's name attached to it. 
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro was mailed a copy, and in a late 2003 email, describes reading this story aloud, and furthering its journey in fannish circles: 
== Chapbook Printing ==
In 1987 Hypatia Press published the story in chapbook form, but it was not attributed to Theis, but instead to G. Ecordian, a play on the main character's name. It was reprinted in the 1990s, again without attribution to Theis. It also appears that Theis never received any royalties from the sale of these books.
==The Most Common Version, and the Missing Ending==
The version which was circulated widely on the early Internet was manually transcribed by Don Simpson from a mimeograph of Theis' original. Simpson comments at the bottom: 
Simpson's version was missing its last page, so the story ended rather abruptly. 
A complete copy of OSFAN #10 was later found at the Jack Williamson SF Library at Eastern New Mexico University. An administrator there reported that the long-missing Page 49 began with: "With a sloshing plop the thing fell to the ground, evaporating in a thick scarlet cloud until it reatained its original size." 
==What the Author Thought About Reactions to His Story==
On Hour 25, a fantasy/SF talk show on listener-sponsored Pacifica Radio station KPFK in Los Angeles, the presenters would periodically stage a reading of "The Eye of Argon." In an interview on March 8, 1984, Theis stated that he was hurt that his story was being mocked: 
== Media Commentary==
==Fan Reactions and Reviews==
===1992===
===2000===
===2001 ===
=== 2008 ===
===2024===
==Fannish Interpretations, Remixes, and Comparisons==
=== Convention Readings and Games ===
The story has subsequently been used as part of a common science fiction convention party gameFor example, the Arisia 2015 program lists Eye of Argon on the Saturday night schedule: "This perennial Arisia favorite is back! Can you make it through a reading without making a mistake? Or laughing? Our panelists will try! And so can you!" and has been the subject of many turkey reads. At some conventions, the story is acted in mime. At others, the challenge is to read the story with a straight face, to include all the mistakes as written, and for extra fun, to read it in a squeaky voice after inhaling helium. 
In 2005, it was the subject of a turkey read by Jane Mailander at Bascon. From the programming notes: "For the second year in a row, Jane will host a reading of "Eye of Argon" - possibly the worst sword-and-sorcery fanfic ever written. Come for the silly." 
=== Youtube, Podcasts, and the Modern Internet ===
It is quite common to find dramatic readings of the story on YoutubeThe Eye of Argon Dramatic Reading (April 1st Video) by Terrible Writing AdviceA Dramatic Reading of Jim Theis's THE EYE OF ARGON, by The D-Pad. It is also quite common for podcasts to read and discuss the storyThe Eye of Argon by Jim Theis, on The Drunk Guys Bookclub Podcast#208 The Eye of Argon by Jim Theis, Green Team of the Legendarium podcast. There is also many blog posts that try and provide literary analysis or criticism of the storyThe Eye of Argon: A Literary Analysis (Part 1), at The Scrub Report. How much of these things are straight mockery, or genuine attempts to appreciate the text, vary greatly. 
=== Inspired Fanworks ===
It is the subject of a filk by Lee Gold in The Bastard Children of Argo, see (page 54) 
Jane Mailander wrote a parody of this story called "Bodiana Jones and the Eye of Argon." It was printed in Chalk and Cheese #10 (1992) and has the summary: "Bodiana Jones and the Eye of Argon" by Jane Mailander is the second of her Quanta Leap series in which Bodie and Doyle are propelled into different times and places to solve problems. In this outing, they leap into an Indiana Jones world, where Doyle ends up as a sacrifice."
=== Use in Fandom Vernacular ===
One fan described Life from the Ashes, a long X-Files story, as "'The Eye of Argon' of X-Files fandom." fashes. THEY KILLED KRYCEK'S *BABY* ::SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY:: "X-Files vagina belly button fic that I never finished. I'm finishing it now. Or it's finishing me... HOLD ME!! falls back into bed, drapes an arm over her eyes and WEEPS", 20 September 2006; see also Morgan Dawn's personal notes from 2000 (Accessed 20 May 2010).
=== Published Works ===
In 2019, Geoff Bottone published Grïgnyr the Ecordian: A Retelling of the Eye of Argon on Kindle, using the original plotline to tell a straight-ahead sword and sorcery yarn, with improved spelling and grammar.
In 2022, The Eye of Argon and the Further Adventures of Grignr the Barbarian was published, edited by Michael A Ventrella, it included the original story plus several others inspired by it and set within the same universe. 
== Further Reading==
* , some background information (unspecified date)
*, rules for a party game where participants read the story (2002)
* (includes link to a PDF of the entire zine about The Eye of Argon, by David Langford) (2010) 
** 
** (story transcribed, includes illos)
** (story transcribed, includes the "lost ending")
* , discussion at rec.arts.sf.fandom (July 21, 1994)
* a fan review (2001)
*My Sword Is Quick, parody of Howard's style written by M. M. Moamrath for REH Lone Star Fictioneer, vol. 1 no. 4 (1976)
* (each chapter has a snark commentary) (unspecified date)
*The Tragic Story Behind The Worst Fantasy Book Ever Written by Dominic Noble, video essay (2020)
*(Fantasy Fiction) The real story behind the so-called "worst fantasy novella" write-up at r/HobbyDrama by Upbeat_Ruin (2024)
== Resources ==
* The Eye of Argon at Wikipedia 
* The Eye of Argon at TVTropes 
==References==
Category:1970 Fanfiction
Category:Fantasy Fandom
Category:Original Fiction