Feedback Faux Pas

Feedback Faux Pas is an essay posted to Citizens Against Bad Slash by guest writer Bohemia. It has the subtitle: "(how to piss off a writer with your feedback)."
==Types of Poor Feedback==
The author lists these types of bad feedback:
The one-liners: "OMG I love [insert story title here] so much! Awesome!" I wanna punch my monitor when I'm reported to have ten new emails and seven of them resemble the example given. Okay, so you loved [insert story title here]. Now tell me why! It's great to let an author know that you enjoy their work and want more of it, but it's even better to let an author know what you liked about it, its strengths and weaknesses, etc. It helps writers get better at what they do. And if I see the use of "OMG" one more time...
The teenie-back: "OMG I loved [insert story title here] it was soooo funny and sweet can you imagine [insert pairing here] actually doing stuff like that hahahaha ne way I just wanted to tell you that you ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you should write something about me and justin hahaha just kidding <3 jenni" Jesus Christ. Do I have to even point out why this type of feedback irritates most writers? Unless an author wrote the story in that format (without punctuation or capital letters), then the odds are that the email recipient has no idea of what the hell you're talking about. In the land of boyband slash, there are plenty of underage kids floating around and reading the stuff, and many of them are the ones sending this horrible feedback. I'm not going to say that only pre-pubescent teenyboppers are guilty of this kind of feedback because I've received this muck from people claiming to be in their thirties. In America, all children are required to have some sort of formal education, so people, please. Let it show.
The referrals: "Hey my name is [insert cheesy online alias here] and your work is really good. I was just wondering something, though. Have you read any of my stuff? If so, could you please please please go check out my homepage and tell me how you like it? My friend [insert cheesy online alias here] has a site too and she wants to know if you'll look at it too. I added your link on my site, so I think you should link mine too! Thanks!" I'm sure that no author minds recommendations or referrals for the most part, but asking a stranger to read everything on your site and critique it is overstepping certain boundaries, I think. Who says that someone just wants to dissect a stranger's fiction, and who says that said fiction will keep the other person's interest long enough? Also, when I'm online reading slash, it's something that's done for fun's sake. I just sit back and relax and read a story that interests me. For someone to think that you actually want to go to their site and read everything there, then send them a 50K email that workshops the entire site, I think that's pretty egotistical and rather rude. If your stuff is actually that good, then others will find it and it will be read. Trust me.
The suggestors: "Hey, you know what you should write? A story where Justin and Lance visit Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory and drink up the chocolate river and eat all of the candy and stuff. That would be cool!" - or even worse - "Hey, why don't you write any [insert pairing you hate]. You should write a [insert pairing you hate] story. I think that would rock!" - and this one really chaps my ass - "Hey, I really love 'Still On Your Side' by BBMak. I think it would make a great story for you to write! You should do it!" This sort of feedback goes along the same lines of "the referrals." Just like I hate being told what to read, I hate being told what to write. I'm sure that other authors feel the same way. Writing should be something spontaneous and natural, not forced. Writing shouldn't feel like a job, but an enjoyable hobby. Most writers don't and won't take requests for this reason. When you force a story it can often come out half-assed and weak, and no writer wants that.
The beggars: "Hey when are you gonna update [insert unfinished series title here]. I'm like soooo addicted to that story. Please please please update it!" Hmph. I've been getting these a lot lately in reference to an unfinished story of my own, and I'll say this. The author probably wants that story updated just as much as you do, but if they're suffering of writer's block or some other uncontrollable circumstance, then they've probably got a little notice up on their website about it. Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with asking about an incomplete series, but the begging is not necessary. Especially when there's probably information pertaining to the story's completion somewhere in the author's notes or on their site.
The stalkers: "OMG I loooooooove your writing SO much! You're just so funny and smart and you're such a bitch but in a good way! I love you love you love you and your fiction is the best thing on the net! I linked your site on my webpage and I bookmarked you too! I can't wait to see more writing from you! I love you! You rock! Be my wife! Hahaha, just kidding!" (note: this email would be received about twice a week from the same person.) Stalker emails are ones where flattery crosses over into the realm of obsession, and that can be rather scary. I joke with other writers about being their stalkers sometimes, and it's a funny thing for us, but when you receive the aforementioned email twice a week from a stranger, that shit just ain't cute.
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