Price check

Good afternoon, did you find everything that you were looking for today? You didn’t? Well then what’s all this stuff that you are unloading from your basket then, silly?
Lets see, Heinz beans (beep), Heinz beans (beep), budgie kernels (beep), clear nail lacquer (beep), Aero bar (beep), Aero bar (beep), Aero Bar (beep), Whats this? <choose>
<option>That time of the month, eh love? Oh, dear, no price on this is there?</option>
<option>Who’s having a bit of trouble getting it up, eh? Oh, dear, no price on this is there.</option>
<option>Dear God! No price on this box of pee wee condoms is there?</option>
<option>Fancy yourself a bit of a lover well what do we have here? Theres no price on these generic love gloves is there?</option>
<option>Did you catch the dry “vag” with your menopause deary? Oh, dear, no price on this is there.</option>
<option>Having a herpes outbreak are we? Oh, dear, no price on this is there?</option>
<option>Indeed! Oh, dear, no price on this box of salt water enemas is there?</option>
<option>They usually sell this in a plain brown wrapper for folks like you!</option>
<option>I think I am going to barf! You enjoy eating tongue? </option>
<option>They cut it off of you and turned it into a what?</option>
<option>Oh, dear – look at the Queen now, you’d think that she’d try an look smart before its too late wouldn’t you? Oh, dear, no price on this People Magazine is there.</option>
<option>Got a bad case of the Hershey squirts do you? Oh, dear, no price on this is there?</option>
<option>Got a bad case of the stinky wet farts, do you! Oh, dear, no price on this is there?</option></choose>
S’cuse me while I page for PRICE CHECK for <choose>
<option>Tiny Tim Condoms.</option>
<option>Sahara Vaginal Moisturizer.</option>
<option>Fisting Butter.</option>
<option>On the Cheap brand condoms.</option>
<option>BEANO! </option>
<option>Super Soakies Feminine Pads</option>
<option>Saggy Baggy Adult Diapers.</option>
<option>Enema Bag!</option>
<option>Palsy brand Vibrator – the hand held model, Mandingo black.</option>
<option>Stay Hard Erection Cream. </option>
<option>Lords of Leather gay porno magazine.</option>
<option>Ladies Who Drink Piss Quarterly.</option>
<option>Ped-O-File Callous Sander</option></choose>
Thanks Ernie - just give me a holler when you find it. 
Oh, no - its no trouble at all, really, this is why we have Ernie. Dearie, you mustn’t worry, this type of thing happens all of the time. All sorts of people need all sorts of things in the world and thats why we at Uncyclopedia Mart believe in tip top customer service.
What was that Ernie? No, you have the wrong item. Excuse me, Ernie's a bit deaf, I’ll have to use the microphone...no microphone? Deary don't you worry, they can hear it in the next store. I SAID: YOU HAVE THE WRONG FUCKING THING. I SAID PRICE CHECK FOR <choose>
<option>TINY TIM CONDOMS not latex finger cots, although I could image by the looks of you that either would work just as well, right?</option>
<option>SAHARA VAGINAL MOISTURIZER; THE STUFF YOU USE WHEN THE TIDES GO OUT OF A WOMAN'S PORT OF CALL! Just between you and I deary I dread the coming menopause - the idea of my twitchet feeling all dry and gritty isn't something to look foraward to, is it. The microphone is still one you say?</option>
<option>FISTING BUTTER IN THE ONE POUND CAN.</option>
<option>"ON THE CHEAP" BRAND CONDOMS IN THE RAINBOW VARIETY PACK - PINE FRESH SCENT.</option>
<option>SUPER SOAKIES FEMININE PADS; FOR THOSE DAYS WHEN AUNT FLO ARRIVES AT HIGH TIDE!</option>
<option>SAGGY BAGGY ADULT DIAPERSTHIS ONE LOOKS LIKE THEY LIKE TO CRAP IN THEIR PANTS!</option>
<option>BEANO, YOU HORSES ASS! </option>
<option>URANUS BRAND ADULT DIAPERS AND HURRY, THIS ONES BEGINNING TO DRIBBLE ON THE FLOOR!</option>
<option>AN ADULT ENEMA BAG you douche bag!</option>
<option>PALSY BRAND VIBRATOR – THE HAND HELD MODEL, MANDINGO BLACK.</option>
<option>STAY HARD ERECTION CREAM. </option>
<option>LORDS OF LEATHER GAY PORNO MAGAZINEAND FETCH US A TUBE OF KY AS A COURTESY GIFT!</option>
<option>LADIES WHO DRINK PISS QUARTERLY.</option>
<option>PED-O-FILE FOOT CALLOUS SANDER, NOT A HOOK UP WITH A PEDOPHILE LIKE YOU.</option></choose>
There we go, just took a minute. So, do you have any coupons, love? Oh, here he comes now. Oh, thank you Ernie. 
Here, what are all of you looking at? Go back to you own business - if the customer wants to buy <choose>
<option>Tiny Tim Condoms</option>
<option>Sahara Vaginal Moisturizer</option>
<option>Fisting Butter.</option>
<option>On the Cheap brand condoms</option>
<option>BEANO! </option>
<option>Super Soakies Feminine Pads</option>
<option>Saggy Baggy Adult Diapers</option>
<option>Enema Bag</option>
<option>Palsy brand Vibrator – the hand held model, Mandingo black</option>
<option>Stay Hard Erection Cream</option>
<option>Lords of Leather gay porno magazine</option>
<option>Ladies Who Drink Piss Quarterly</option>
<option>Ped-O-File Callous Sander</option></choose>
what business is it of yours? 
You'll have to pardon Ernie, he's a bit of a retard, but you know this economy...we're lucky to have found someone who has enough sense to wash his hands after he <choose> <option>uses the loo.</option> 
<option>masturbates the vegetables.</option>
<option>scratches his ass.</option>
<option>picks his nose.</option>
<option>plays with himself.</option> 
<options>eats some choice kitten.</choose>
That’ll be 25.11, Vicar. Paper or plastic? 
Thank you and have a blessed day.
Oh, dear, Jimmy - the dirty old Vicar has forgotten his bag with the <choose>
<option>Tiny Tim Condoms </option>
<option>Sahara Vaginal Moisturizer </option>
<option>Fisting Butter</option>
<option>On the Cheap brand condoms </option>
<option>BEANO! </option>
<option>Super Soakies Feminine Pads</option>
<option>Saggy Baggy Adult Diapers </option>
<option>Enema Bag </option>
<option>Palsy brand Vibrator – the hand held model, Mandingo black </option>
<option>Stay Hard Erection Cream </option>
<option>Lords of Leather gay porno magazine </option>
<option>Ladies Who Drink Piss Quarterly </option>
<option>Ped-O-File Callous Sander </option></choose>
and could you run it out to his car - but keep your distance or he'll rape your creamy white ass. 
Good afternoon Madam. Such a sweet lad our Jimmy. Well then, were you able to find what you were looking for today? No? Oh, you'll find cases of penicillin in back in our Jumbo Generic Department. Let just page Ernie and he'll escort you back there...
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Category:Error
Category:Capitalism 
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