La Linea

Hello, my name is La Linea, a one-dimensional wanderer of this monochromatic land. I live my entire life on a single line, which is where I eat, sleep, work play and the like. This line stretches on for as long as- What the fuck's the matter with you pal? You left a gap right over there and I almost fell off! Aw, enough with your goddamn excuses, I could have died down there! Idiota! Oh, so sorry about that. That's my cartoonist. He's a bit of a retard you know, always leaving gaps in the line I keep traveling in. Apparently, he doesn't even know how to draw a line, because, as your geometry teacher must have told you, a line extends to infinity from both sides. If there are gaps in the line, it's not an actual line, but a line segment. You hear that, pal? You can't even draw a line! You have to settle for drawing line segments! Moron! Anyways, looks like I just came across a nice fishing spot. CARTOONIST, GET ME A FUCKING ROD OVER HERE! There, now that he's drawn my rod, I can begin my fishing! Ah, what a quite, lovely experience, fishing is! Looking into the endless sea while- OH MY GOD, WAS THAT AN EARTHQUAKE! Shit, now a tsunami's coming over! I gotta RUN!!! Phew, that was a close call! But how in the world did an earthquake strike this linear, monochromatic realm? Unless....
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________CARTOONIST! CARTOONIST! You fucking idiot! You managed to crumple the paper, didn't you! That paper on which you DREW MY CARTOON WORLD! Maybe you don't know that when you disrupt the balance of my paper-based universe, I have to bear with natural disasters such as earthquakes and tsunamis! Now look at what you've done to my shirt! Draw me a new one, quickly! Wait, this is not a shirt, it's a sweater! Is this some sort of joke you're playing on me, pal? Because I swear, if you EVER screw up again, I'm gonna...hey what are you doing? What's that big, white thing you're holding? No, no, NO! What are you doing to my line! My beloved line, my only home! Why you- hey, don't erase, me, please do-....THE END.
Category:Italian culture
Category:Really long articles
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about