UKball/Relationships

== Friends ==
* Hong Kongball - One of the best children I ever had. I raised them from after the Qing Dynasty began to fall apart from the opium until the dirty dim sum that is Qing's modern self took it away from me. I spend a lot of time mourning for them and their harsh fate under Chinaball's rule. Also, I love your beautiful milk tea, child.
* Portugalball - They are my England's oldest ally and best mate. If I were Sherlock Holmes, they would be my Wattson, but unfortunately, we don't talk a lot with each other nowadays. On rare occasions, we may get together to play a football game and drink in a pub. I also tip my hat to you for stopping that tosser Dr ACactivism during my dear SuRie's performance at Eurovision 2018 before things got worse, cheers m8!
* Franceball - My former rival and one of my best friends. Once, we fought a few wars while colonizing North America and ended up having one of the best nights of my life (and the U.S. and Canada were born after that. It's a pretty long story!) As Japan would say, I have been kind of a tsundere to them. (See enemy list )
* Croatiaball - A great Slavic nation who beat my child, England in the World Cup in 2018. They've been no slouch in the 2020 Euros, either! They're pretty good at Football, you know!
* Spainball - We've really had a complicated relationship, but nowadays we're fine, because we're both allies in NATO. And Gibraltar is still mine, but if you really want them that bad, I'd advise you: please take good care of it! I suppose this whole drama started when I went to war with them, and sank the Spanish Armada.
* Canadaball - They're the good child, loyally following the crown and always being happy to help when I need them. Unlike their sibling, America, who revolted against me, they opted for independence peacefully. Sincere thanks for expelling four of Russia's spies!
* Rohingyaball - I'll support you against murderous Myanmar, and they will achieve freedom no matter what it takes!
* Belizeball - They're relatively peaceful, and sadly, I don't really hear from them. But if their idiotic neighbour tries anything, I'm sure to defend them!
* USAball - Ah, you were a one pesky bugger when you were little. Nowadays, you are my eldest, biggest, strongest, and also my proudest child. They're always there to aid me in my time of need, and they even invite me sometimes to fight extremist kebabs like ISIS together as a parent and child together. They've also made me extremely proud as they've become bigger and stronger than I ever could! But would it kill them to use the metric system just once? And how they outdo me in every way possible sometimes makes me jealous. Oh, and by the way, I owe them a huge thanks for expelling 60 of Russia's spies.
* Israelcube - Ain't they a cute one? I molded them and Palestine's land after the First World War, and the U.S. brought them to life with me later. Years ago we didn't like each other much but after I left you to be on your own we have a good relationship.
* Australiaball - They're the delinquent child that was always kind of insane, like that time they went to war with emus and lost, wrestled crocodiles, swam in the swamp and ran across the outback. but still kinda makes a good living from their environment. Also, they must stop giving me more grandchildren. Who do they keep getting busy with/adopting children from, and why does this always happen?
* Papua New Guineaball - Australia's adopted child, which technically makes them my grandchild, But the situation isn't as straightforward as one might think. We just hope they won't grow into another uninhabitable, scorching hot piece of land like their parent. Also, when Bougainville gains independence, I'll be a grand-grandparent. Dear God help me!
* Indiaball Pakistanball Bangladeshball and Myanmarball - These guys all make up what used to be the ol' Raj! But since they split in the 70s, they all started to hate each other. Well, at least I still keep kind of good relations with them all! Also, our Prime Minister descended from India!
* Nepalrawr A retard but a good wingman, fought him in the Gorkha War but only got Uttarakhandball, Shimla, north of Bangladeshball, and Sikkimball. But your ferocious gurkhas helped my country! They fought in many wars like WW1 and WW2. It has the tallest mountain in the world which one of my son New Zealandball climbed there too. By the way chap can I have some of your tea please?
* New Zealandball - One of my younger children. They happen to love 'sheep-shagging', whatever that is. I heard one of the joint-first people to climb Mt. Everest was Edmund Hillary, who was a Kiwi, so congrats to him!
* Germanyball - My Germanic sibling and also a friend of mine after our. Rather complicated past, but it's great when we hang out and have been together! I'm jealous of how they are both obscenely wealthy and how France instantly fell in love after Brexit. One time, France cheated on me with Germany and the friggin' EU was the result! God, I hate that union.
* Philippinesball - An old ally and close friend. I'm sorry about how my people have mistreated their workers! And won't they just admit that Malaysia owns Sabah already?!
* Saudi Arabiaball - I really don't get why I like them. Oh yeah, they have good oil (like father like son)! BUT THEY MUST REMOVE SHARIA LAW AND DEVELOP SOME F***ING RESPECT FOR HUMAN RIGHTS!
* Netherlandsball - They kinda control the English Channel too. I like to think of them as close relatives. Their language is so frigging to learn, but they make up for it by being able to speak excellent English! And they love to go biking with me every now and then even though we can't technically bike because we don't have limbs! 
* Belgiumball - I've stood up for them when Germany tried to invade them. Twice. But did they really have to humiliate me in the 2018 World Cup? They're pretty strong, especially in footie.
* Egyptball - They're kinda one of my more insane and rebellious kid, to put it simply. I don't care what they think, I'm not giving the Rosetta Stone back! They can just make a duplicate out of it. But why won't they give the Suez back to me?
* Ontarioball - One of my favourite grandchildren. They love me and have always stuck by me. They're easily better than Quebec.
* South Africaball - It is also kind of insane along with Egyptball right now. They still hate us for the concentration camps, but they're okay now. The high off of the BRICS must be getting to it. Also, thanks for Nelson Mandela and removing your apartheid self.
* Botswanaball - My southern African child who also hates Argentinaball for stealing its flag.
* Brazilball - The child of Portugalball. We have found a common enemy, but it also happens to be my football rival. It was one of my best friends when it was an empire. Still, in 1865 we had a difficult situation, but nowadays, we're okay, by the way.
* Mexicoball - The child of Spainball. This chap is good at making tacos, sombreros for royal people and more exotic delicious food. And it hates Argentinaball too, so that's a real bonus.
* South Koreaball - The good one, I helped it big time in the Korean War, so it doesn't get annexed into it evil sibling. it is also my Proudest child's partner hehe.
* Japanball - It likes tea just like us. A different kind, though, and we had an alliance back then. Also, thanks for making the 8th Pokémon region (Galar) based off me! BUT WHY DID YOU WANT TO KILL MY CHILD?! It's 'WALES', not 'WHALES'!
* Irelandball - Well, I may give you some credits for helping in the World Wars and some carter of 🥔 potatoes, your favorite food. (STILL DO, YOU ARE MY COLONY!)
* Hungaryball - We both hate this crappy union. But one of my children hates you and your family because you defeated him in football.
* Barbadosball - My child who turned into a republic recently.
* Chileball - It is my bastard child's friend of the Southern. It supported me during Falklands War and I supported it during a war between Peru And Bolivia.
* Zanzibarball - I adopted it, and it's also the birthplace of Freddie Mercury (RIP Sailor Freddie Mercury, we miss you so much).
* Swedenball - We're so good friends that even in war we don't fight each other. It also builds a lot of furniture nowadays. VIKING STRONG! Shame that Estoniaball cannot into Nordic just like it.
* Malaysiaball - Good Asian child, very good chef and a half sibling to Indonesiaball. It's quite rich in culture. It looks twinned with USAball due to their flag which is quite inspired by my East India Company. It also hates this shitty union for banning your palm oil and its sibling's nickle.
* Polandball (normally) - West Slavic buddy which suffered a lot from both World Wars, at least it is doing well now.
* Bruneiball - Another good chef and a rich child of mine.
* Indonesiaball - My nephew. I'm sorry for 1811 and 1945, and currently we‘re friends right now and I support you because we both hate that bloody shithead for banning your nickles and your sibling's palm oil from the EU. I quite like its cuisine, and it likes tea just like I do. I also used to rule One of its children. But don't you dare forget about the fact you bullied my 3 children back in the day!
** Bengkuluball (aka Bencoolen) - My grandnephew who I used to rule, I also named this flower based on Sir Stamford Raffles, its former governor. Also, it still holds some of my heritage, especially Fort Marlborough and Thomas Parr Monument!
* UAEball - Sort of, and a good adopted child in the Middle East, but it doesn't like my culture anyway. But give me some money.
* Tringapore - Also an excellent chef (I love its chicken rice), ex-adoptive child, it used to provide lots of money for me. I'm so proud of its accomplishments what eludes me is its abhorrence of bubble gum. Also, one of the cleanest and world's most intelligent children mine.
* Ghanaball - An African child of mine. You made a fine ol' song! Quite catchy, I'd say! When I do die, can you set up the coffin dance at my funeral? I heard it's something.
* Nigeriaball - Another African child of mine. It's having internal problems, but I know I'll get through it. Also, what the hell is wrong with the dramatic TV shows you have there?! Remove them from this instant! I also know about your 'Nigerian Prince' scam, even though you're a republic or something. I wished you were a monarchy like your prince scam!
* Thailandball - My second favourite curry takeaway after India. It and I are best friends in Asia, do you remember Bowring treat we are a good memory, we both have a monarchy, and I like the Queen. I also gave it some Harriers for its royal navy back then. Ah, the good ol' VTOL days.
* Kuwaitball - Another one of my Middle Eastern children that has been independent since 1961. I will protect you if my child tried to annex you again!
* Ethiopiaball - It used to be the enemy that I failed to occupy it during the Scramble for Africa. But I really like its injera (You are also the creator of coffee! HOW DARE YOU CREATE A VILE THING?!).
* Ukraineball - I support it on Crimeaball. Also my child's best friend. Thank you for the 12 points at Eurovision 2022, our first in 5 years! Go kill that evil wave of barbarous villainy that sweeps through malevolent Moscow!
* Bulgariaball - My brave friend. But... (See § Enemies)
* Islamic Republic of Afghanistanball - Rest in peace, old chap buddy. Your movements were overthrown and that d***head emerges victorious at last.
* Syriaball - Welcome back to being a democracy. But I better watch out those bloody terrorists..
* Queen Elizabeth II - Her Late Majesty was the longest reigning monarch of my land and the longest reigning queen in the world, who ruled me for over 70 years. Unfortunately, she's dead at 96. You may be gone and have done a bunch o' controversial things, but you cared and loved us and you were always there by our side when you were alive. Rest in peace Her Majesty, your legacy shall forever be remembered, and God bless you!
==Frenemies/Neutral==
* Quebecball - You speak Frog language French more than you speak English, and you are also my most rebellious child and keep wanting to get independent since the time it was in my clay. I taught my child Canadaball not to give you independence and to keep you in its clay.
* Polandball (employee) - Now, listen here! I like you for filling in the low-skilled jobs that my people won't work. Just don't complain about unionizing or better rights as your not British citizens! What's taking you so long?!
* Belarusball - Oh, you Russian puppet or whatever you are, what's with your anger towards me, eh? Do you need some tea to calm your skirts down? Yes, I have evidence that Russiaball sent nerve agents on my streets. Whatever Lukashenko wants to do to me, just for your information, me, Canada, USA, and many others will retaliate against you. 
* Serbiaball - A former war criminal and trying to deny the genocide but is still a good ol' chap. Somewhat my other citizens loved this guy because I supported it with WW1. However, it became a commie and me, and my strong child failed to reclaim its crown. But I still have great relations with it.
* Guyanaball - Thanks for forgiving me my child. And again, sorry about 1953, don't remember that, okay? I'll stand on your side in case Venezuelaball gets their territorial ambitions on Essequibo.
* Inuitball - They won't give me the Northwest passage! But thanks for not killing my men.
* Icelandball - Oi, listen to me you little Bjork face. Why you love Russia so bad? And stop trying to throw me into Iceland! THIS IS WHY MY REICH DOESN'T WORK ON YOU! NEVER FORGET COD WARS! But you thanked me for my restaurants.
* Mauritiusball - One of my strongest children from the Indian Ocean, until it doesn't make me let go of the BIOT. IT DOES NOT FOLLOW THE CROWN! JUST FOLLOW THE DAMN CROWN ALREADY!
* Scotlandball - Please don't leave me! Wait, you don't want to? Okay, don't worry, I'll find a way to relax you from Brexit.
* Peruball - Sort of like. It's dreaming to be like Japan and it thinks me and my children will die.
* Cyprusball - it's the other bad child. Well, kind of. Sort of. It DOESN'T FOLLOWS THE CROWN! Also, a madman who cannot into making me let Akrotiri and Dhekelia go. But my people love to visit it; we need to get out of the weather after all (that's why I need to revive the empire!), so ugh, I'll be on terms with you.
* Vietnamball - It hates Chinaball for trying to anschluss it and I don't care if Mainland China was trying to annex you! But give pho. It's friends with USAball so we're fine.
* Iraqball - My child who also likes tea. But never forget 1991 where you tried to Anschluss my child. We'll help you against that terrorist! ''2003 BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE?!
* Ugandaball - An adopted child from Africa who hates homosexuals, in which I disapprove. Err... your films is. quite special. Eh?
* Mongoliaball - It's good, but it was my worst enemy ever since it was these Empire days. Oh wait, it has an embassy in London!
* South Sudanball - You must be Sudanball's child! I'm your grandparent. (Also, I heard that your parent was the real oil thief. you might want to consider changing your status for the USA, it can't buy your oil.)
* Englandball - Stop complaining about having no parliament, period.
* Armeniaball - You're a good friend of mine but I can't recognise your genocide because you're a bloody puppet of vodka. And don't destroy my environment, please.
* Walesball - Well, if you are dating my child... *DADBATTLE INTENSIFIES*
* Northern Irelandball - Please stop trying to reunite with the other Ireland! Oh wait, you don't want to? Or you do. I never know what you want, make up your mind, child! I even accept that you go to live with Ireland if it is through a democratic referendum. But only in that way. Also, what is your obsession with flags?
* Kazakhbrick - Don't you like my new Borat movie, why? Are Uzbeks nosy people in their brain?
* Sudanball - Look, child. I know you have border disputes with Ethiopiaball right now, but you shouldn't have started the war with it. You better stop fighting around its borders and claim its land or else. 
* Palestineball - My step-child result of a previous colony, our relations are rather complicated, but I still feel bad for it due to its current situation with Israelcube right now.
* Brittanyball (rarely) - It's another guy from France who likes me, but... (See § Worst enemies)
* Turkeyball - Your kebab and tea is bad, my tea is better.
* Romaniaball - We both hate Andrew Tate, however you need to help work in some of my industries and farm as none of my citizens can work. Don't accuse us of being populists because I don't like Populism at all.. Trust me.....
* Somaliaball - We are good friends but GIVE MY child who I don't officially recognise yet but still maintain unofficial relations with INDEPENDENCE NOW! Otherwise...
* His Majesty King Charles III - His Majesty is now my king, but I'm not sure what to say about him since he did a bunch of controversial things, such as the fact that he cheated on and treated his ex-wife Princess Diana terribly. Also, His Majesty, why do you dislike pens?
==Enemies/Wankers Frequent Opponents==
* Vodka bully - YOU! YES YOU! STOP TERRORISING MY PLUMBER POLAND, UKRAINE AND MY CHILD! YOU, CHINA AND IRAN ARE NO MATCH AGAINST THE ALMIGHTY POWER OF NATO! At least we both hate that s***bag and into likings tea. But I like your past-past self more.
* EUball - Recently, you these days are being such a dickhead. You promised you could help your first six members. Still, you didn't, you're just giving threats, such as Article 13 and implying sanctions on my children, especially Malaysia, Sudan, etc. You wot m8, 2020 is one of the best years of my life and I'll not regret it! Long live Brexit! Better cry to your mama; it won't help! I'm glad Russiaball is giving you what you deserve, TALLY HO!
* Thirteen Coloniesball - AKA the USA during its young times. But we're good now.
* Argentinaball - NOW, LISTEN HERE, YOU BLOODY CUNT, we've already fixed our international relations, so STOP CLAIMING THE FALKLANDS! REMEMBER 1982! You weren't even bothered when I got those islands at the year 1833! SO STOP CLAIMING THE FALKLANDS AS YOURS RIGHT NOW! REMOVE MESSI! REMOVE TANGO!
* Iranball - This country who loves making threats towards my child and cannot stop being nuclear. But it's poetry is great to read I guess.
* Sealandball - My rightful fort. (actually, I'm about to recognise you, BUT PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE, it's really embarrassing!) Also, you ain't recognised chap.
* Zimbabweball - My own evil blimey child, can't you run yourself correctly?! Also, you just kicked out all of your white residents!
* Ba'athist Syriaball - GET FUCKED 50 years of ridiculous family cult. Enjoy your stay in Moscow Assad.
* Romaniaball and Bulgariaball - STOP ACCUSING ME OF BEING POPULIST AND BEING A XENOPHOBIC RACIST!!! GIVE ME MIGRANT WORKERS NOW!!! THAT'S WHY POLAND IS BETTER THAN YOU!!
* Northern Cyprusball - Stop messing with Cyprus, eh.
* Nazi Germanyball - It cannot cross the channel. Heh! I'm really glad that it never invaded me. BUT YOU JUST BLITZKREIG'D MY CAPITAL LONDON! REMOVE NAZI! REMOVE BLITZKRIEG! REMOVE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ARGENTINA? I was right about you!
* Liechtensteinball - You stole my National Anthem! I had it first m8! Otherwise. 
* Chadball - HOW DARE YOU HARASS MY CHILD BY CALLING IT A VIRGIN?! AND ALSO STOP TERRORIZING MY GRANDCHILD'S EPIC GAMES FANBASE! EVEN ROMANIABALL HATES YOU FOR STEALING ITS FLAG!
* Chinaball - We both like tea but I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CHILD ON JUNE 30 2020! Also, stop killing or indoctrinating these innocent Uyghurs. Otherwise... 
* Venezuelaball - IT HATES FOUR OF MY CHILDREN and supports Argentinaball on believing that Falklands are its clay!
* North Koreaball - STOP TRYING TO HACK OUR HOSPITALS WITH YOUR RANSOMWARE! WE HAD TO RESORT TO WRITE IMPORTANT PAPERS INSTEAD OF TYPING THEM, THANKS TO YOU (Thankfully, I stopped your attack)!
* Myanmarball - Can you just control your own government my idiotic blimey child?! Well, it's also the Tatmadaw's fault. YOU DESERVED TO GET SANCTIONED BY MY CHILD!
* Lebanonball - This blimey hates me for no exact reason!
* Cambodiaball - IT SUPPORTS THE NATIONAL SECURITY LAW AND SAYS THAT HONG KONG BELONGS TO CHINA, IT'S HOW SHAMEFUL IT IS!
* Crimeaball - Crimea is Ukrainian! Also, my flagless child is mine and stop saying that it's Irish! Or else. 
* Basqueball - M8, I have the flag first. Just change your flag already! Now I'm happy that Icelandball created that Basque-killing prank on you, lol.
* They hate us translating their names - WHAT THE FOCK IS UP WITH YOU THREE?! WHY DO YOU HATE US TRANSLATING YOUR NAMES?! SPEAK THE KING'S LANGUAGE, YOU BLOODY MONGROLS!
==EVIL COCKBALLS! (WORST ENEMIES EVER!)==
* ISISball - Now, listen here, you little Jihad face. YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR WITH YOUR GODFORSAKEN IDEOLOGY, SUCH AS? MASS GENOCIDES, BEHEADING MY MEN, MURDERING INNOCENT CITIZENS, PILLAGING MY TOWNS, DRIVING OVER PEOPLE, AND KILLING MY POLICEMEN, ALL IN THE NAME OF ALLAH AND FOR A STUPID BLOODY DISGRACE OF A MISINTERPRETATION OF YOUR BELIEFS. EVEN AL-QAEDA THINKS YOU'RE TOO VIOLENT NOW!
* George Soros - 1966 WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE! YOU RUINED MY ECONOMY! BUT WE WILL REPAIR THE DAMAGES YOU CAUSED... JUST GET THE F*CK OUT OF EUROPE AND DON'T COME BACK! Or else... 
* Franceball (seldom) - For a good chunk of our history, we had one of the worst rivalries in the entire world, but we've thankfully moved past that now.
* Identity stealer - YOU F***ING COPYCAT! YOU JUST STOLE MY NAME AND YOU GONE EVEN WORSE, YOU JUST STOLE TWO OF MY CHILDREN'S AND MY GRANDCHILD'S FLAG! NO INDEPENDENCE FOR YOU! GO BACK TO FRANCE! THAT'S WHERE YOU BELONG, YOU BL**DY TW*T! OR ELSE. 
* Napoleon - GO TO HELL WHERE GOD CAN JUDGE YOU. WHY DO YOU WANT TO ANNEX MY FRIENDS?!
* Andrew Tate - OH MY GOD, YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A PATHETIC "INFLUENCER" WHO LIKES TO SCAM HIS FOLLOWERS AND IS PROMOTING A VERY DISGUSTING IDEOLOGY AT THE SAME TIME! THE FACT THAT YOU WERE RAISED ON MY SOIL MADE IT EVEN WORSE! I AM GLAD THAT YOU ARE FINALLY BANNED FROM SOCIAL MEDIA AND ROMANIABALL HAD YOU ARRESTED!!!