YourMomLolXD.Bat

My name is xX_DOOMGuyStan_Xx and I have a story for all of you (This is actually my first story)
When I was 20 in the 2000's, I had a really epic Hot Wheels themed PC that was a power house. During that time, I was mainly played top games during that time like DOOM, Quake, and Duke Nukem (The first one). Those were the best times of my life.
I am now 56, but 5 years ago would have been the scariest stuff I have ever saw...
When I was 51, I was packing my stuff up in order to move to another place. Reason was that my stupid landlord said I wasn't "paying him enough" and all that jazz.
While looking, I found something of a relic. My old PC from 2000. I shat my pants in excitement and joy and hooked up the PC. I couldn't believe that my PC still ran great and that my sexy Trump wallpaper still shone like it did back in '00.
I booted it up and saw all the DOOM wads and mods I had installed. There were the classics, like Hell Revealed, a TRUE DOOM wad, and Alien Vendetta, a pretty okay wad. However, one stood out and it honestly scared me when I saw it. The wad's name was YoMama.Wad.
I was pretty freaked out when seeing that file. I never downloaded the file, nor do I remember making it. When trying to run the mod, it wouldn't work. I thought that was odd. However, below it was a .bat file (a file containing commands for a program). It was named YourMomLolXD.Bat. I ran the file...
It started out with DOOMGuy in the titular E1M1. There were the demons here and there and so on so forth, until I beat the level. It soon placed DOOMGuy into a snow level, but the snow was hyper-realistic snow, which made me projectile vomit due to the fact that it was really realistic.
After I beat the level, with some creepy things here and there, Jesus Christ and Jack Black were having a hyper-realistic conversation, at least I think it is due to me never having friends.
They were talking about how Dream was a dumbass for saying Doxxing isn't bad. They soon noticed me and asked me if I wanted to be in the next Jumanji. I said no, as I only liked Black Jack for his awesome movie Pick Of Destiny, but they insisted. Soon, Jesus Christ shot lightning down on me and transported me to a hell mountain, where the devil was. It was also hyper-realistic and almost had my cardiac arrested of tax fraud.
Satan was sitting down at a table eating the new McChicken only at McDonald's and asked what's up. I said something to the screen asking why he is eating McDonald's, and he responded back! That made me projectile shit all over the back wall, almost like a sniper in a top secret mission!
He said he was eating McDonald's because it was the only actually good food he could eat, which made me realize that Pierre, South Dakota was technically hell. Seriously, why the fuck is there a bunch of restaurants that is ass? And not only that, but the owners of THE best ice cream store at the mall shut it down and made a shitty steakhouse, that isn't even great and makes you feel all shitty inside. And not only that, but they have the AUDACITY to compete with Longbranch, an actually GOOD steakhouse/restaurant that you should check out if you plan to go to Pierre, South Dakota, which I don't know why you would, because it is HELL.
Satan was sitting in his chair and I asked him all sorts of questions. I was surprised at most of them. Did you know that Nintendo was a PLAYING CARD company?!?! I was about done and was gonna say goodbye until I was teleported into a black void. That game closed itself and that was when I got so scared that I quit the game and shut the PC down.
After a few minutes, I was sitting in a chair until Quagmire and Chris Pratt entered my home and stole my credit card and my PC. That last thing I could here was someone going "giggity giggity giggity" during the whole event.
After that my landlord had enough and kicked out of my house. I now own 15,000,000,000,000,000 companies and own a huge monopoly on everything you could think of all thanks to that Satan guy. As for the event, I was traumatized due to all the hyper-realistic stuff. When the tech department showed me a demo where everything was hyper-realistic, I died. it is okay because I am now a skeleton.
The End.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Vidya games
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Memes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:File Extensions