USAball/Relationships

<tabber>
|-|Friends/Allies=
(Almost) Everyone. If you are a democratic country, you are an ally to USAball, so don't even try to deny it!
But the more important ones:
* Milk in a bag Best sibling - My little sibling. We grew up together. We fight together (and each other). Also, my best friend that joined me in my wars. It helped me out big time during 9/11 by taking in stranded airline passengers when I was forced to close my airspace. It also invented modern smartphones! But really, quit influencing my states to be part of you. Don't even think Alaskaball is interested since it is my clay. Here's my favorite part though, it hates this commie with a burning passion, and even more so for invading Ukraine. I'm glad you have democracy in ya, bro. It's also proud of me for deporting Russia's spies. I dont want to make you my 51st state unlike my dumb president.
* Franceball - Canadaball's parent and my biological parent that never got the chance to raise me because it got defeated by UKball. It is also my first ally along with Morocco, despite being a dumb sack of coward cheese who doesn't want to bash kebabs and terrorists with me. Thanks for discovering explosive artillery and aviation; I love to play with it! Thanks for saving the revolution by fighting and money (be discreet about it, please!) And also thanks for the Statue of Liberty. But why the fuck did you make that cartoon that with the boobs? The show's fine, just remove that part. The rest of it is actually fucking hillarious.
* Parent - My parent! I hated those taxes, causing the revolution. But today, they consider me to be its PROUDEST, STRONGEST, AND COOLEST achievement ever. It even gave me the actors for Game of Thrones and Star Wars. It thinks I should use the "correct way" of speaking in English and use the goddamn liberal commie metric system! Sorry parent, but I'm not interested because I'm more into Merican' English and the Imperial system! Also, R.I.P. to your queen.
* Potato - Potatoes. We both like to celebrate Saint Patrick's Day and drink beer. Many of my presidents have Irish ancestry too! Our current president Biden is descended from it. I also have a lot of Irish immigrants in the cities of Boston and Chicago! It also hates Russia as it kept looking over it for no reason.
* Viking - Aren't you that ball that gives me those Lego bricks? I don't like steppin' on it, though. Ouchie!
* Other Viking - Gives Minecraft And HOI4. Many of my people play both of its game, and I would like to thank you for making them!
* Nokia - Another guy that also hates Commie and even fought it.
* Oil - Nordic guy who has a ton of OIL, SWEET SWEET SWEET OIL!
* 5x Invaded Country - You are probably have been invaded like 5 times, don't worry, I won't let anyone else invade you, since you're in Nato and EU.
* Favorite chef - Pizza is good. Also, I liked its rock band Maneskin. and I also like Ferrari and its fashion brands.
* Vampire - It's my relative, but I don't think I know you. Wait. Holy s***, you are a vampire! I will defend myself with garlic, holy water, a cross, and a colt. I saw in Supernatural how to kill a vampire! Don't you dare come any closer!
** : I'M NOT A VAMPIRE!
* Paella - Parent of Mexicoball, and techinally me. A cool person. Thanks for giving me Floridaball.
* Sausages - It gives sausages. We used to be enemies in both World War I and World War II, but at least it learned its lesson from us. Our president Trump and most of my citizens are descended from it, especially Minnesota's peeps. (Also supplies me with cool guns!)
* UK's base in Spain - My parent's military base in the Mediterranean. It lets my subs dock there sometimes. Sorry Spainball, you have to respect it if it wants to remain British.
* Half French-Dutch guy - Waffles and maybe fries. Its capital Brusselsball is also home to NATO's headquarters and also supplies me with plenty of guns!
* Bongbong Marcos - My former colony, but now my favourite child. However, it hated me a bit during the time Duterte was president. Still, we improved relations since he just hated Obama for some apparent reason. At least Joe Biden met Marcos Jr..
* Plumber who works for my parent - The plumber who works for the UK. It's a former commie who's okay now. Also, pretty good friends because we helped tear down that wall. (And it broke the Enigma code for us). It hates both Mr. Holocaust and the big commie kahuna for what they've done to it, too, so bonus points for that! I got a lot of its people in some of my states. Good ol' Indonesia.
** : I AM NOT INDONESIA!!
* Bird Guy - Who are you again? Are you Kosovoball's sibling or something?
** : I'm Shqipëria, Amërica...
* Anime maker - I helped it rebuild itself after WW2, and turned it from an isolationist empire into a 1st world democratic countryball and also a powerful ally against the filthy Commies. They also give me video games like Mario, Legend of Zelda, Sonic, and more. I like its anime too, especially Dragon Ball Z, Naruto, and My Hero Academia. Recently, they invented and gave me a Nintendo Switch. Same as Estonia, also give pianoes too. It calls me "Unova," though. I don't know what that means.
* K-POP - We're cool. Like many big countries, we helped rebuild it during WWII. We both help each other all the time, usually against its evil sibling called North Korea. We also have ROK-US joint military training. We also helped it during the Korean War. They gave me Samsung and LG. Also, they give us K-Pop too.
* Colombiaball - It used to hate us once; now it likes us, and we kill drug lords together. I love its coffee and Shakira's songs! Your president is an asshole, though.
* The canal - We share money, and cut it in half built a canal for it. We removed Manuel Noriega for you! I would love to visit that volcano that shows both the Pacific and the Atlantic.
* Hong Kongball - Adopted sibling and it's the only Chinese city that loves us, and we helped it in the 1940s. Go Umbrella Revolution! COLONIZATION DEMOCRACY TO CHINA!
* Guy who smokes crack - Crazy Uncle Netherlands! We wouldn't exist without it! Although it doesn't get why. It has a weird stash of weed too, but we don't ask about that.
* Holy Land - Muh best friend, yup! Never left our side. It is the master of Kebab Removal. It's the land of the Prophets of the Bible and Jesus Christ. I think it's probably attempting to become self-sufficient. I will always protect you because it is what my pastors and priests say to me do! But stop hurting Palestineball, it's not very nice. And please let aid into Gazaball. More democrats sympathize with the latter more than Israel. #FREEPALESTINE!
** - Why would you do this to me?! Ani thought we were friends and you are willing to protect me!
* The real Chinaball - I known it more as Taiwanball. We're allies with it and sell weapons and gear; I recognize you (de facto, 'cause Nixon forced me to recognize your evil sibling), and I won't just stand there if China tries anything funny to you!
* Upside down clay - Sibling! Oi, chuck a shrimp on the barbie, mate! It's my 2nd best friend after Canadaball, and of course, I would like to go hunting with you. 
* Australia's Ireland - Don't call it little Australia! They don't like to be called that way. BUT they are very similar to its twin sibling. And we both share a common enemy.
* Guy from the Caribbean - Who is this guy! Ah, now I remember who you are. I helped it assassinate its evil dictator in 1961. I also allowed it to win its civil war against the commies. So, are you gonna get along with Haitiball now?
* OBAMA WAS HERE! Kenyaball - I once helped this guy to fight Islamic terrorists. Also, our former president Obama descended from it!
* DJ Booty - It let us use its clay to fight the pirates! However, Franceball, Japanball, and Chinaball have placed their militaries in its clay (Back-off pals, it's mine!). But my child hates you for flag identity?
* Malaysiaball - Southeastern version of me and the best Islamic sibling ever. It has an identical flag to mine (even though mine is older.) ALSO REAL NICE, MAKING TWIN TOWERS TO REMIND ME OF 9/11. However, we have a lot in common though, such as hating that DAMN COMMUNIST SHITHEAD for shooting down his plane. LETS GO MICHELLE YEOH!!! WOOOOOOOOOO OSCAR WINNER!!!
* Thailandball - Former ally of Evil Weaboo but we're fine now. I met them on my trip to Vietnam. We fought North Vietnam together. Now, it's our major non-NATO ally who recently suffered a multiple personality disorder. Better get it to the hospital. We'll take a river taxi since it isn't many cars there.
* Tringapore - Rich and smart sibling. Also most developed in Southeast Asia. Quite a few business opportunities there. But WHY?
* East Hawaii - Awesome cruise ship destination. Many of us Americans had liked this place when Castro banned us from its clay. Still no agreement on our maritime border, though.
* British Virgin Islandsball - USVI's cousin who is also sterile
* GAY MAN Cayman Islandball - A good place for a vacation to get away from stress. It's a tax haven that is good for the soul. I store my money and wealth here.. Hm. where are all the gay men Caymans? I thought that these islands were full of alligators and crocodiles or something.
* British outpost near the Bahamas - Caribbean sibling near Florida.
* Liberiaball - So, this one time, I had a colony. It has as much FREEDOM as me because it is my independent child, and its flag is even similar to mine. I may have taught it how to enslave 8balls through, oops! Bring freedom to your commie neighbors, kiddo!
* A guy from Europe - It's probably one of the many guys that I allied with after the Cold War.
* Moroccoball - Historic alliance. It was the first country to recognize us formally! Thanks for recognizing my freedom, buddy. Also, I don't recognize this "country" for you, and don't let these separatist commies try to divide you!
* Greeceball - This little guy invented DEMOCRACY AND KEBAB REMOVAL! I gave to it fascism in return! (Sorry about that.) Other than that, we get along well nowadays. It pleases me for sanctioning Türkiyeball.
* Tiny Island in the Mediterranean - Hey, this island is a friend of Greece. Well, half a friend. I don't even know it that well.
* Bali Indonesiaball - Chill friend. Nice beaches and we're cool. Our former president, Barack Obama f*** YEAH, was here. Good ol' Bali Poland. Your people are supporting Russia sadly, but thx for inviting Ukraineball on your summit G20! Oh wait, you recognize Crimeaball as Ukraine's? Then we're cool. 
* That One European Countryball - What? Isn't that, like, part of Russiaball, or something? Wait, you're telling me it's friends with Finnistan? Give more pianos then!
* Hungry guy - I don't know much about it but its name sounds like the word hungry. But why do you make these cubes so hard?
* That guy in the Balkans with landmines - Little Muslim guy that we saved from that Serbia. It wants into NATOball as well.
* Little Persia - Türkiye's sibling. It helps my non-NATO allies (Although Pakistan hates Israel). It is the only ally outside of NATO that can help me against its big bullies! Hopefully you can join NATO!
* OIL! - Even though it's a very controversial Muslim Guy, it sells us oil. It helps us fight Iraq during the Gulf War. We both have a common enemies. However you have been starting to get friendly with Iran? Why? 
* Michael Jordanball - Basketball Muslim friend of ours. We made it and Egyptball friends with Israelcube in 1979! We fight ISISball, the filthy terrorist, together!
* An Arabian countryball - Oil and major non-NATO ally! I get it on my trip to the Persian Gulf in the 90s.
* Another Arabian countryball - Oil and significant non-NATO ally! We liberated it from Iraq! IT'S FRIENDS WITH THIS COMMIE THOUGH!! IF YOU KEEP IT UP, YOU WILL END UP IN FRENEMIES!! 
* Arabic Turkey - Recently became my major non-NATO ally! (2015) Recently suffered an attack by ISIS. Don't worry, little buddy; I'll give those terrorist scum FREEDOM! Wait, you're the grandson of Carthage. I remembered now that we shot the Star Wars desert scenes in its clay. Thank you for permitting us!
* You're going to Brazilball - My best friend during World War II. And we removed these damned Nazis. I hope you take care of Venezuelaball. And it's a child of Portugalball, An important South American ally, I have the largest brazilian community outside of Brazil, about 1,95 million of brazilians live in my country. But it is friends with Russia, though. WHY DIDN'T YOU OBEY MY REQUEST?! NOW Iranball's ships are closer to me!By the way your capital is Rio de Janeiro
* South Vietnamball - Historical and long time friend. Fought against those commie northerners! (And unfortunately, it lost and is dead now)
* Blue Japan - The most adorable adopted child of mine who became independent in 1994, as the last Trust Territory of the Pacific Islandsball. It didn't join Micronesia and is smaller than the others. Papa loves you, my cute little boy! Remember not to get into trouble!
* Marshall Islandsball and Micronesiaball - Palau's Trust Territory siblings and its adopted children. It became independent in the 80s. Come home, guys; papa misses you so much.
* Long Chili Pepper Chileball - I backed it up in a military coup in 1973. Look, I'm sorry for what happened after that (military dictatorship), but it was other times. Its flag reminds me of my proudest child Texasball or North Carolinaball. Hope it takes care of Venezuelaball.
* Argentinaball - Major non-NATO ally of mine in South America. We have a weird friendship because it is still mad at me for supporting my parent during some war over some islands closer to Antarcticaball in 1982. I wasn't even sure what the hell was going on near Antarctica; at the time, I was more focused on the Soviet Unionball. Those islands are my parent's problem, not mine. Also, it has a weird friendship with Venezuelaball. Also, thanks for the help in the Gulf.
* Guyanaball - Good sibling, we helped it get rid of drugs. (Sorry about the Kool-Aid.)
* Peruball - Another Latino country that sucks at soccer, but we're cool. It also has gold and silver and llamas. I don't know them very much, but I know that it's a sibling of Argentina and Mexico.
* Scammers - Some of my African American community are descended from your clay. Great African ally, I'm its largest trading and diplomatic partner and give it a lot of investments, too many investments, but it is really good at scamming so I will let it pass. You want us to buy your oil? Sure thing, buddy! And we'll send that money to your poor dethroned prince. (What do you mean, you're a republic?! D'oh! Because no one warned me) HOWEVER, THIS IS STRAIGHT UP UNFORGIVABLE!! (see enemies list) 
* Islamic Republic of Afghanistanball - I gave it stinger missiles to fight that commie. Was merely taken over by the Taliban once before I gave freedom to it and successfully got rid of the Taliban in 2001 It's been a decade; it's time for you to graduate and fight the remaining Taliban, child. And yes, you've heard me right. I'm giving you Black Hawks These birds should do you well. Sadly it got taken over by this s***hole again,' BUT SOON, I WILL COME BACK! COUNT ON IT!
* Russian Empireball - You gave me Alaska, so thanks. Also, we helped each other in some wars. But you were the first victim of the commies.
* NepalRawr - OhioRawr's best buddy, cuz' they're both monsters. Despite it looking scary and s***, it's a harmless little buddy unless you piss it off. Then it'll turn into a Gurkha and massacre you single-handedly. I respect it for that, for it's one of the most badass soldiers in Earthball! I just recently gave it aid when that earthquake of April 2015 knocked it out. IT IS A DAMN COMMIE THOUGH! SO WATCH IT!
* Genghis Khan - Sided with me during the Iraq War. In the past, it was a Great Conqueror, but unfortunately, it is pretty irrelevant now. But even so, it was an honor to have had its help. Used to rule the commies a long time ago; Mister Mongolia, you have my respect!
* Costa Ricaball - it's the most developed country in Central-America! We also filmed Jurassic Park with it. Thanks for the permission, friend!
* Bermudatriangle - One of my parent's territories near me. Also a best friend of Puerto Rico and Florida. It forms the actual Bermuda Triangle.
* No data Greenlandball - My suicidal Friend. It has the most suicide deaths ever. Other than that, I have an airbase on Thuleball so that I can bomb the s*** out of the Commies! Though I support you as much as Denmark does. Please don't kill yourself. Try to be like Iceland. BTW Canada, Stay out of its clay! Why is its name GREENLAND? This place is full of ice and snow! I'm freezing here!
* The Pope - Pope Francis visited us in September 2015! A lot of us are Catholics, including president Joe Biden, former President John F. Kennedy, former first lady Melania Trump and popstar Lady Gaga.
* That guy from Serbia - We freed you. I hope you will join the UN one day!
* Former Gaddafireich - I remember that I said that I wanted to remove Gaddafi, but after several years it was killed by its people in a revolution that happened in Libya. But for some reason, its people hate me.
* Iraqi Kurdistanball - Thanks for helping us out in the Iraq War, we're good friends, I guess.
* Nicki Minaj - Good friend. I'll keep it in watch Venezuelaball though. In return, I gave it some vaccines. However, Nicki Minaj comes from here.
* 8balls - Look I'm, sorry for what I did during the slave years, that was old me. The new me back in the 1880's wanted slavery to end but racism to still exist in the south. But in the 1950's I came to my senses and come to see that was messed up, so I removed the racist system. Also that controversy with that one guy who was killed, may his poor soul rest in peace. Yeah. I hope we can improve relations (again). Why are you running undercover KGB operations with the help of Jamaicaball? We need explanations for this.
* Muslim India - You began to recognize Crimeaball as Ukrainian, and you support her altogether? Taliban's minions want to annex your clay too all of a sudden? Well, you know what, I'll put you on friends. I'm also sorry for what I just said about your association with the Taliban taking over Afghanistan, I take it all back. KEEP UP THE SUPPORT FOR UKRAINE!! Oh, and thanks for helping me with this commie. Anyways, while it is a friend of China, it's also a good major non-NATO ally. Your cricket games are nice I guess.
* Water guy - I see you are supporting Ukraine, which I definitely appreciate. Thanks for that. And I like its water. 
* Ukraineball - What Russia is doing to you is *Begins to cry* It's Just so freaking Heartbreaking to see what Russia has done to you. I tried to sanction him, but it's not gonna save you, I think I need to get you to a hospital and try to get you to feel better, and try to get you more weapons and stuff, I would try to impose a no fly zone over you but * Cries a little more* If I try to do that, that would mean an all out world war. and I don't want that. please try to get thru this, I beg you, I believe in you! Try to win the war! Nato and EU Also believes in you and has tried to supply you, but please, Try to win! *Cries Dramatically* And after you can join nato and become my puppet state.
* South Africaball - It's my homie ever since it kicked racism of its life, and it also gave me Elon Musk, though I am scared of what he might do now that he got in office alongside Trump. I mean, have you seen how that vodka-drinking sonuvabitch got worse with all those oligarchs? Wait, did Elon just do a Nazi salute at Trump's inauguration? Ahhhh, shit... Also I dont want to cut off aid to you.. Dumb Elon and Trump
* Robbie Rotten - You're that small island I keep leaving out for some reason. Nice work on suspending Russia's embassy in your capital! Now you see why you can't trust him? 
**: I see now… from now on, I'll always side with you and Ukraine!
|-|Complicated/Neutral=
* WALL JUMPER - We are neutral because while we are good friends, I'm just tired of it always jumping my border (GET OFF. THE F* CKING. FENCE.) Another neighbor of mine, I get it when we were kids (Thirteen Coloniesball and New Spainball), it is a good friend. Still, sometimes we argue since we have different points of view about some things. Unlike Canada, it constantly criticizes some of my brilliant ideas (like the Iraq War). We have known each other for a long time, but our relationship seems to be somewhat complicated. Anyways, it helped me in some situations (like providing aid to me in the chaotic aftermath of Hurricane Katrina). It, Canada, and I make the "NAFTA Trio." Although I hate it wall-jumping, then again, who else is going to serve me my McDonald's? Your tacos are better
* Commie - Neutral (ish), again in 1990. It helped me to beat Germany during World War I and World War II. Opponent during Cold War. Somewhat became my frenemy when it turned on its Gorbachev mode since it allowed me to invest McDonald's on its clay. (See enemies list)
* Haitiball - Recently, I and some other guys gave aid to it after an earthquake destroyed its clay; but Navassa Islandball is still mine. They sometimes hate me, though. And holy shit, how did you kidnap some Christians! A Haitian actually founded Chicagoball though, so that's pretty swag. 
* Commie and spy - Trading partner and my current rival for the spot of number one superpower, though we're trying to keep it friendly. Our leaders met each other, and we became good friends shortly after. Furthermore, I do like the videogames you made - like Genshin Impact, Honkai: Star Rail, Azur Lane, Black Myth: Wukong, and Marvel Rivals. But it IS a damn commie, however. ALSO, STOP BULLYING MY child! And I invented the fortune cookies! Not you! Your coronavirus is infecting me. Probably should've worn a mask. And also, I'm on your side for one thing, The Evergrande Crisis, You'll defunct if Evegrande Collapses, So, I'll try to keep the problem far away from you as possible, Just in case it goes into debt again. But here's a question, why did you fly a balloon over me? Also, did MY SIBLING SAID YOU WERE HARMING YOUR OWN DIASPORA IN ITS CLAY?! If so, STAY AWAY FROM MY CHINESE COMMUNITY! THEY ARE NOT NECESSARILY BE FANS OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN YOUR FOREIGN POLICY!!! Also, STAY AWAY FROM ELECTORAL INTERFERENCE IN CANADA AND FUCK OFF WITH YOUR PROPAGANDA SHARP POWER TO THE CHINESE DIASPORA AND HARM ANY COUNTRY'S SOVEREIGNTY!!! Also, we might end TikTok's business here. ByteDance steals information from everybody and shares it with you Commies in Beijing, RIGHT?! And how did you train Deepseek's AI model, which costs only $5.6 million and has the same ability as ChatGPT, and is also open-source? This is impossible! You must have cheated! ALSO FUCK YOUR SECRET POLICE STATIONS TOO. YOUR CONFUCIUS INSTITUTES ARE JUST PROPAGANDA BULLSHIT! But most importantly, LEAVE. TAIWAN. ALONE!!!
** XIXIXIXI. YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH!! THE BALLOON WAS A WEATHER DEVICE. NO!! Chinese Canadians like to deal business with us. We no interfere with Canadian politics. We have friendship associations NOT PLA STATIONS ALLEGEDLY! TIKTOK IS SOCIAL MEDIA OWNED BY BYTEDANCE! IT HAS ZERO COLLUSION WITH POLITICS! YOU PROSPER FROM SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER! BUT!! SOME CHINESE employees still have access to some U.S. data NOT TO GIVE IT TO BEIJING. WE STILL NEED TO FIX IT. Take care of your corrupt bureaucratic capitalists, and your various financial expenditures and costs will naturally decrease. This is also why the cost of the AI model we trained is so low! SO YES! WE NEED TO MAINTAIN RESPECTFUL DIALOGUE!! XIXIXIXI DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH FOREIGN POLICY PAPER TIGER!! AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME AS EVIL OR GOOD!!!!! SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!!!!
* Turkey Türkiyeball - We like it in general. We're in NATOball. For some reason, the "Accordion Guy" hates it. It does seem to be becoming more pro-Islamic, though. It might need some DEMOCRACY! Recently suffered a coup. Oh, and by the way, can you please stop bombing the Kurds and help me fight Actual terrorists? I heard that you're improving relations with EU and the west which is good. Also you stopped liking Russia? That is also good. Why did the peace talks not work though? It's because Russia IS TOO STUPID! But still, I'm glad you getting to be more of my friend than friends with Russia. It also hates when I call them "Turkey". However... (see enemies list)
* Palestineball - I used to hate it for being a terrorist, but since Biden became president, we're starting to improve relations with each other. We became business allies and I did give it aid for its citizens. Deep down, I'm also scared of what that orange ball of lard might get Israelcube to do to you. I'm sorry for hurting you, man. Please forgive me. But really, Jerusalemcube isn't yours. And I can't stand this idiot controlling you. At least I support him against it. Alright, time to propose a two—
**: No. I will do whatever I want, and there's nothing you can do about it!
* Cambodiaball - I met it on my trip to Vietnam. Odd Dude, who suffered several multiple personality disorders. It's buddies with Taiwan's Evil Sibling. It is also bitter about the Khmer Rouge thingy. 
* Laosball - Southeast Asian Commie and ally of Chinaball! But it likes Geography Now tho so we're good. Maybe you can teach me a little bit of geography? I'm not so good at that stuff
* Egyptball - It is very famous because of history, pyramids, and mummies. Formerly it's one of our best African buddies but recently went quite insane. We worry about it sometimes, but it is starting to be unreliable as it is becoming buddies with Russiaball. Also, it is supporting Syriaball, which is suspicious.
* Sudanball - I used to hate it for supporting terrorists, but in recent years, we improved relations and it became friends with Israel. It's friends with Russia though so I need to keep an eye on it still. But hey, you're so much better than backstabber here. 
* West Bankball - You hate my friend, but, we both hate HamASS.
* Iraqball - Good job! You removed ISIS, and you are no longer banned from visiting me. But 1991 is unforgivable, and stop being a p*ssy sometimes.
* Ethiopiaball - They started to hate the sanctions lately. Otherwise, we are pretty good friends nowadays, even though you were a commie. I liked your monarchy, and this guy ruined it. 
* Myanmarball - Murderous countryball, I thought you would get better when I helped remove the military dictatorship. Still, now you are not, and you are allied with Chinaball and Russiaball. I do, however, support you because you are growing to be more democratic. Unfortunately, we both don't adopt the metric system.
* Traumatizing rice field - Although it is a commie, we are okay now because Bill Clinton lifted sanction, sorry for Agent Orange as well, plus, I'mmm gonna give you a second chance to be on neutral because even though you like that Damn commie, you do support Ukraine soooo… we're sort of friends since it's the only commie that likes me.
* Rojavaball - I don't know about you, we've helped each other in the past, but it doesn't recognize me right now.
* - I'm still mad at it for defuncting my other companies, but I'm happy that it still does not like Russia, It has Suspended Prime Video in Russia, and now it has a donate button to where anyone can donate to help Ukraine. But Still, Why are you and Walmart Enemies? shouldn't you two be setting aside the business rivalry and help Ukraine? It did send millions of dollars to Ukraine which is good. our Relations are complicated since 2015 when Walmart kept closing it's stores and in 2018 went bankrupt because of Amazon. But still, Keep helping Ukraine and you might end up on my "friends" list.
* Indiaball - T-Series! Great trading partner! It also doesn't like the China-commiestan, therefore finding solace with us. But stop trying to assassinate people in my soil! I just caught you red-handed recently, so Canada wasn't lying! Seriously stop trying to copy Vodka dude. It ain't worth it. 
**: Sir, just like Hardeep Singh Nijjar, Pannun is bad too. He threatened to blow up Air India recently. 
**: Well I can understand, but unlike with Canada you have an extradition treaty with me so how about you use that instead of doing Black Ops shit?
**: Ok, Sorry my sibling.
**: It's ok. But don't you dare repeat it!
* Armeniaball - The land of Kardashians! I gave it a nice amount of money to preserve its old churches. A nice number of Armenians live in Glendale. Still, we side on opposite sides in these conflicts so I have to keep my eye on it sometimes. *sighs*, do you really have to be friends with these suckers? Also, recently, my president, Joe Biden recognized this guy's genocide this year. I hope all of the victims who were killed in the genocide shall rest in peace.
* Yemenball - It's not a bad dude, per se, I do feel bad for it being underdeveloped, but I needed to bomb you to get rid of those damned Houthis. Once I get rid of them, I can help you with your economy.
* Somaliaball - i helped you in ogaden war against these commies in 1977, I'm so sorry for bombing your country because of Bill Clinton, not me i'm just helping you to fight ISIS And Al-Shabaab a.k.a Al-qaeda's ally can you please forgive me in 2023 NOW? its been 30 years for what i did to you And Thanks For Opposing Bashar Al Assad Also Friends With Türkiyeball.
** : I'll forgive you after 30 years.
* OASball (sometimes) - Goddamn Latinos running the place! it won't give me any authority! But hey I'm a founding member and its headquarters are in Washington DC.
* Venezuelaball - FUCK YOU EVIL COMMIE! ...Or whatever you REALLY want to want to call yourself. You are mean to the smallest Latin American countryballs when they did nothing wrong to you! But still, thanks for the oil.
* Boliviaball - Look dude, you cannot be "anti-imperialist" over the loss of a stupid coastline. That's not how anti-imperialist ideas work! But still we get along pretty, pretty fine now.
* Nicaraguaball - Another Commie and Vodka Lover. But hey your not so bad and I constantly like your migrants! And damn, you really remind me alot from Cambodiaball, since he is an asian counterpart of you.
* Syriaball - You toppled Assad? I'm so proud of you! But I'm afraid of the leader of the coalition that toppled him.
* South Sudanball - I don't get this guy; I helped it get independence and allow its refugees in, but now it hates me. It even accuses me of pushing regime change, and now it is building closer ties to Russia and China. It also killed one of my journalists! But your immigrants including Simon Deng are the best ever. However, my people are fine by the way.
* Crazy dude - Jesus Christ, calm down, dude. Even I'm afraid of this guy. Still he is sorta fine and I gave many Eritrean immigrants in my clay.
* Inflation guy - Fix your country and stop blaming me for your inflation you failed 3rd world state. But still you are fine.
* Angolaball - I would say around 2009, I declared you one of the my three key strategic partners in Africa, and I like your oil as well, in your civil war, I truly gave supplies of weapons during to the tenacious UNITA and intimidating FNLA.
* Australia Arnold - A relative of Germanyball who is neutral. Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger, the man behind the Terminator and former governor of Californiaball, was born in its clay! Also, why is your name so similar to 'Straya's?
**: Amerika, Ich has of comings up with that Name before it did, or should Ich sayings, Britannien did.
* Ice Cream Man - Our former current President. He has helped Ukraine against Vodka man, but face it: You're too old for the presidency. At least he stepped down from the 2024 Presidential race.
|-|Enemies/Frequent Opponents=
* Commie Neighbor - Yeah, no need to explain at all. It's rather understandable. I hate you for joining them Commies in 1959! REMOVE CASTRO AND GUEVARA!
* Fatass Kim - You know what. I don't know what to say. We were enemies, then Trump made us buddies and then ("totally nothing happened afterwards"). NOW IT IS HURLING SHIT TO SOUTH KOREA AFTER SOME DIPLOMATIC ISSUES THAT I DIDNT DO. THATS IT IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT SOVIET UNIONBALL! AND GROW THE FUCK UP YOURSELF, YOU TANKIE BASEMENT-DWELLER!
* SCOball - Commie alliance and NATO Haters. REMOVE!
* Evil Persia - Some crazy-ass, hyper-misogynistic terrorist kebab is threatening me with its missiles! Why did you Launch rockets at my Base in Iraq?! And justice for Mahsa Amini and the victims of AUI752! Also, the idiot is buddy-buddy with . However its poetry is fine to read and maybe we will be friends after Pezeshkian became the president.
* Ass-adist - For some reason thinks I'm one of its "enemies." Who must go? Of course: Assad! Your "president" (Actually a dictator) was such a pussy that he escaped for Commie Vodka when the rebels attacked. I'm glad you're dead now!
* Iraqball (sometimes) - I helped it against this asshole, but it still has second thoughts about me, like a LOT. However, it put me on friends list so, I'll remove you from here.
* Hamasball - I'm glad my friend started invading you after that horrendous attack on October 7. You'll pay for that, and you will be Israeli clay, you Radical Islamist scum! #FREEPALESTINE!
* Western Saharaball - Same as Gazaball above, except it should go back to Moroccoball.
* Afghanistanball - Oh, hey, Afghanist- Wha- HOW?! HOLY S**T, ALL I DID WAS LEAVE FOR ONE MINUTE! Uh-oh. It's the Afghan war flashbacks!
* Somaliaball - Pirates are cool but can you stop attacking everyone that tries sailing your oceans? There is a reason why I had to intervene in your era!
Terrorists:
** Al-Qaedaball - 9/11 never forget.
** ISISball - Pfft. I can beat you even without trying!
** Pakistanball (formerly) - IT'S FUNDING TALIBAN!!! Well, USED to fund them. Then it attacked him so.. (see friends list) 
* Türkiyeball - Please do not steal lands from other countries to improve your economy and your power to become more powerful? Rest of the NATO members call you a cheater. (see Neutral list) Also why are you supporting partly this terrorist scum? 
* Accordion Guy - I committed an aggression against you in 1999. It influences the commie, which I don't appreciate, and that guy Isn't yours. But at this point, Kosovo's not even my main issue right now— my main issue is with Russia and Ukraine... But we both support Ukraineball and we recognised Crimea as Ukraine.
* George Soros - Just Get the F**** out of me and All of my allies clay, you economic destroyer!!
* Majapahitball - Some dude with a name I can't pronounce right that stole my flag!
* German Empireball - I cannot believe that this freakin' idiot sent that telegram to Mexico to try and have it retake my clay. Also, it does not like it when I use shotguns, yet you commit war crimes. But in the beginning, we used to be friends.
* Reichtangle - Stop removing my allies, you idiotic scum!
* Fijiball (until 2022) - Remove Military Dictatorship! You are the worst pacific island, and stop hating Australiaball! it is also now buying weapons from Vodka! But you like my child, so… (see friends list) 
* Brittanyball - Dumb frog people, stealing my flag design. I made it first!
* Murciaball - Some part of Mexico's parent that stole my name!
* Burgerlandball and Frieslandball - YOU ARE MINE, I'M HUNGRY AS FUCK!!! 
* Turkish Kurdistanball - Terrorist scum. Stop attacking my allies in the region too! Otherwise. 
* Nikocado Avocado - A Ukrainian manchild and so-called "mukbanger" who eats food like he never ate food in his life, and he barely keeps himself healthy. GROW UP! Wait, you're actually going on a diet and losing weight? That's amazing!
* Houthiballs - Puppet of Iranball who wants to remove Israelcube. Also currently tearing apart Yemenball. Look, man, you can't keep blockading everyone in that one chokepoint in the Red Sea. Did you know that your alleged reason of hurting Israhell isn't actually working?! I'M GLAD THAT MY PARENT AND I BOMBED YOUR CLAY!
** : Okay, okay, I'll only target Israeli ships. For real this time!
==WORST ENEMIES EVER!==
* MY WORST ENEMY - OH, YOU ARE THE WORST! I WILL NUKE YOU, I WILL SUCK UP YOUR CITIZENS, I WILL EXECUTE YOU, I WILL ANNEX YOUR LIBERAL COMMIE TOWNS AND BEHEAD PUTIN AND XI! SOON OUR GLORIOUS FREEDOMLAND WILL REIGN! I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A PIG AND MAKE YOU SUFFER LIKE MY HERSHEY SLAVES! BETTER DEAD THAN RE-NO! STOP! PLEASE DON'T LAUNCH ICBMS! PLEASE DON'T MAKE US PAY DEBT! NO! I WILL NEVER PAY DEBT! I WILL FORM ALLIANCE WITH CANADA! Wait, you were making high schoolers SOCIALIST?! THEN I'LL NUKE YOU TOO! ARGH! 1989 NEVER FORGET! I REGRET NOTHING! I'M GLAD YOU ARE DEAD But thanks for your help in WW2; we were friends when Gorbachev was in office. But never forget that you split Germanyball into two. However, I gave it a coke even though it likes Pepsi more.
* EVIL SADIST! - OH, NO OH, HELL NO, NOT AGAIN! YOU ARE STILL TRYING TO INVADE UKRAINE! GODDAMMIT! JUST STOP ATTACKING AND MAKE PEACE WITH UKRAINE! AND NOW, SOME OTHER COUNTRIES ARE NOW SUPPORTING YOU, THEY NEED TO COLLAPSE UNLESS THEY SWITCH SIDES! YOU ARE 10,000,000,000% WORSE THAN THE AMAZON COMPANY, AND NOW, YOU ARE WORSE THAN EVERGRANDE! I'M GLAD AMAZON STOPPED BUSINESS IN YOUR AREA! AND NOW YOU WANT ALL OF EUROPE! YOU THINK YOU'RE "DENAZIFYING" COUNTRIES THAT ARE DEMOCRATIC WHEN THEY HAVE ALREADY BEEN DENAZIFYED, IDIOT AND HYPOCRITE! GODDAMMIT! OH, YOU ARE WORSE THAN THE F***ING CSA! YOU'RE AS BAD AS NAZI GERMANY! YOU KNOW WHAT?! I WOULD EVEN THINK YOUR PARENT SOVIET UNION WOULD BE BETTER THAN YOU! ALL OF MY COMPANIES INCLUDING AMAZON COMPANY SUSPENDED BUSINESS IN YOUR AREA, I HOPE SANCTIONS TOWARDS YOU DO WORK! AND I ALSO HOPE YOUR ALLIES THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUR ARE DOING! COMPLETELY REMOVE VODKA!!!!
** : It's none of your business!! I didn't mean against you! It was the Ukraine who did cause their separatist that they want to Independence plus he offered to join NATO! Plus my Crimea is mine due to the Soviet Era! But I don't like it. So that's why I invaded him to teach him a lesson! PLUS don't spread media news about me! IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!!
** : Shut the hell up! And yes, you did mean it against me! and you're making rude remarks about Sweden and Finland joining NATO! And you're killing innocent people in democratic nations! Ukraine, Moldova and Georgia will all join NATO and EU! Got that?! And if you refuse, Alaska won't be the only thing I take from you... 
* HEZBOLLAH (WORST TERRORISTS THAN ISIS) - HELL NO! YOU AINT COMING BACK AFTER ISRAEL BLEW UP YOUR HEADQUARTERS!! GET FUCKED LETS GOO!! HOPE ISRAEL DESTROYS THE PISS OUT OF YAH!!
* CSAball - OH NO! OH, HELL NO! WHY ARE THERE EVEN MOVEMENTS HONORING YOU, YOU RACIST ASSHOLE?! BECAUSE OF YOU, PEOPLE ARE CALLING ME A RACIST, AND BECAUSE OF YOU, MY REPUTATION IS RUINED! YOU CAN RISE UP AGAIN IN ALTERNATE FUTURE VIDEOS, BUT THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN! I'VE BURNED YOUR CITIES IN THE PAST, AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN! YOU KILLED MY F***ING PRESIDENT! DO NOT COME THE F*** BACK! Or else... 
* Nazi Germanyball - YOU F***ING DEGENERATE! WHY DID YOU LET JAPAN ATTACK PEARL HARBOR?! ALSO, NOT TO MENTION YOU KILLED SIX MILLION GODDAMN JEWS! AND NOW, FOR SOME REASON, YOUR FLAG IS SHOWING UP IN WHITE NATIONALIST GROUPS IN MY CLAY! AND EVEN MY NEW (-ish) PRESIDENT IS SAYING NAZI THINGS! EVEN MY EVIL CLONE AND THAT COMMIE IS BETTER THAN YOU! I'M GLAD HITLER DIED! The only halfway decent thing about you were your scientists.
* British Empireball (until the War of 1812) - F*** you and your expensive taxes. MAYBE IF YOU GAVE IN TO OUR DEMANDS AND LET US HAVE A VOCE IN THE GOVERNMENT INSTEAD OF SILENCING OUR VOICES AND MASSACRING OUR ASSES IN BOSTON, I WOULD HAVE STAYED! NEVER FORGET 1812! And tell your stupid company TO STOP CLAIMING OREGON! But... (see § Friends § UKball)
* Evil Japan - YOU! YOU BOMBED PEARL HARBOR IN HAWAII, AND FOR WHAT?! JUST SO YOU CAN KIDNAP MY CHILDREN?! AND HOW DARE YOU STEAL ONE OF MY STATES' FLAGS? HAH, I'D BET YOU WOULD LIKE THE TASTE OF MY NUKES! TAKE THAT, SAMURAI!
* January 6, 2021 rioters - THESE M'F***ING INSURRECTIONISTS ATTACKED MY CAPITOL'S CLAY AFTER TRUMP LOST THE ELECTION! GO TO PRISON FOREVER, AND NEVER COME BACK, OR ELSE I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU, AND I WILL ARREST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! GOT IT?! And no, they are NOT hostages! JANUARY 6 2021 NEVER FORGET!
**: Go home, this election was still stolen! also all of you are pardoned
** : WAIT, WHAT?! YOU PARDONED ALL OF THEM? NOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU ALL ARE F*CKING TRAITORS!
* Goddamn scammers (sometimes) - YOU DESERVED THOSE SANCTIONS I GAVE YOU FOR FUNDING 6 TERRORISTS IN YOUR CLAY!! DEAL WITH IT!! AND STOP IT WITH THOSE MOTHERF*CKING SCAMS!! GO FIX YOUR COUNTRY ALREADY!!! YOU'RE SERIOUSLY ONE OF THE MOST UNTRUSTWORTHY COUNTRIES I'VE EVER SEEN!
* Orange POS - Former and soon-to-be president. Big McDonald's fan! He was . While he helped against Illegal Immigration (kind of), he has attempted to normalize relations with F**KING DICTATORS (like nuke addict). He also claims that the 2020 elections were rigged, leading to some of his supporters ! F**KING TERRORIST! GET IMPEACHED, FOR A SECOND TIME! AND IN YOUR 2024 CAMPAIGN, YOU HURLED ENDLESS RACIAL ABUSE TOWARDS PUERTO RICANS AND CALLED HAITIANS PET EATERS! I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS ABOUT EGG PRICES, YOU ARE A THREAT TO DEMOCRACY ITSELF! I'm still suspicious about his and Vodka's relations. Yeah, they definitely intervened with the 2016 election... Wait, you put into Congress? NO, I'M DOOMED!
* : Listen here, you piece of s***. You may be the richest person in the world, but WHY ARE YOU A MEMBER OF THE "DEPARTMENT OF GOVERNMENT EFFICIENCY?! AND NOW, YOU WANT TO DEREGULATE HATE SPEECH ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND REMOVE WIKIPEDIA?! GO TO F***ING HELL! did you rig the elections? I think you did.
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