Lucky To Be Alive

Even though I've had a DS for as long as I could remember, I've never really contemplated the existence of the Black 2 and White 2 Pokémon games. Until, one day, I decided to try and find a White 2 deep into the interwebs, and I'm not meaning deep like ankle deep, we're talkin' so deep that your lungs collapse in on themselves like PepsiTM cans. To my dismay, every webpage displayed the same type of text: Remove for Nintendo's own purposes, Removed by Nintendo, JUST BUY THE GAME YA BUMB, Nintendo removed, HALP I'M REALLY TRAPPED IN MY COMPY CALL TECH SUPPORT PLZ, and many more. I gave up on the mighty search, I could feel my lungs caving in on themselves like PepsiTM cans already, barely remaining intact. It wasn't till 3 months later, whilst perusing the magazine articles in my local HastingsTM until I found it under several issues of PlayboyTM Magazine. There, under all of the sexy women, was a case with no cover, only the label that said "Black 2, used." I picked it up, and went over to the cashier.
When I handed the case to the 12 year old man at the register. (wait, did I flip the numbers of his age again? I don't know, I could so check, but YOLO am I right?!) His eyes widened and he looked up at me with his big, brown, hyper-realistic cow eyes and said "How did you find this? I was hiding this so I could save up my allowance money to buy it for my own!" (aha! So I didn't get the digits mixed up!)
(or did I?)
I didn't need to give the guy a straight answer, I just looked at him with my puppy eyes. He sighed and scanned my item with his lasa blasta. "That will be...sigh... 21 dollars, sir." (TRUST ME HE ACTUALLY SAID SIGH) I handed him the moolah and in exchange he handed me my Black 2. I rushed home and started playing, and my heart sank at what I saw. A save file, existing for gawd knows how long, surviving the tides and trials of time. The save file of Roll. I started it up, seeing how far they had gone before I would wipe this universe from existence FOREVAR. After I saw their team and their PC boxes, I just couldn't. So many memories were put into this game, so many good times were had, I could imagine them all the good times of catching Pokémon Roll had. Catching Alyx the Absol, Abby the Golduck, Crapsack the Trubbish (haaaaaa...)
(Crapsack......Haaa.....)
I turned it off and went to AmazonTM and ordered another 2 game, White 2 to be infact, to rival Roll from beyond the purgatory of being owned by someone who does not own and honor her name, like making fun and playful competition for a little girl on Death's doorstep. It arrived in 2-3 business days and I created my character. I picked a girl, named her Missy, and picked Oshawott, so my Samurott would rival Roll's Emboar. Everything was super-duper-ultra-mega-hyper-realistically normal, until around Castellia City, I had my team devised of Samurott, Ampharos, Lucario, Unfezant, Scolipede, and Stoutland, gotten my first badge, and was training to level 30 to beat Colress in the next route. I only had one more Pokémon to train and that was my Lucario, Lucky. I ran back and forth like a jackass next to the circle of grass only accessible via the tunnel of everyone's shit, and encountered an Audino, that's when I noticed Lucky's entirely neglected move set consisting of Quick Attack, Counter, Endure, and Force Palm. Just to speed up his training, I temporarily taught him Rock Smash, A move with 15 PP (haaa.... PeePee....haaa) in total.
I ran up and down like a jackass again to encounter what would be Audino 80,085 (I'VE COUNTED) when I finally got it to appear, I had the cursor hover over Rock Smash when I noticed it had only had 10 PP left (haaaa...) which was strange because I had never used the move previously. Whatever, minor bump in the road to BE THE VERY BEST, THAT NO ONE EVER WAS. I used Rock Smash and took the Audino out in one hit, not even a crit, FOOK YUS. I fantasized about how me and my team would not only be on top of the world, but be mounting it in unbridled sexticles! Meanwhile, I could have sworn I heard a little girl's laughter for 1.7673934645927r45923748 nanoseconds, but I couldn't prove this. When I thought about sex, there was no getting sidetracked. I had encountered another Audino in the meantime
 >FIGHT BAG
What will Lucky Do?
 POKEMON TWERK
I looked at Lucky's sprite as I chose FIGHT with wistful eyes when I noticed something out of the ordinary. Near Lucky's eye, there were 2 singular red pixels. I had read several Trollpastas and overly Cliché Creepypastas and I made jokes in my head like how (LéGasp) my Pokémon was bleeding I3lood from his eye because I'm not a good trainer and never gave him a potion, not once. Ha, what a load of bullshit XD.
Or was it bullshit? (DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!!)
Once again, I used Rock Smash on the absolute pathetic normal type once again, taking it out in one hit. I had gotten into a routine of battling Audino, moving Missy to the left, getting on my bike, and cycling up and down up and down up and down and up and down like, surprise surprise, a TOTAL jackass. I encountered another Audino, and the red pixels had SO MULTIPLIED. (I SHOULD HAVE KILLED THEM BEFORE THEY HAD LAYED EGGS!) Now, they formed a small stream of red down my precious Lucario's doggy face, and he looked sadder, more depressed. I encountered more Audino and Lucky's expression kept changing to be more and more depressed and less and less confident each battle, until I had to take a Pokecenter Break, by this point, Lucky had slumped over, the red pixels streaming down his face from his eyes, which were closed. The stream had bent from the left curve of his eye socket, to the right down towards his snout. When I asked the totally unnamed nurse to heal my Pokémon, she made a comment about Lucky that had me worried for the make believe creature.
"Hmmm, your Lucky's bleeding hasn't seemed to let up any, you might want to seek further medical help."
With my eyebrows bent into an expression of pure worry like a little bitch, I ran off to further continue Lucky's 
ULTRA MEGA SUPER DUPER HYPER training to BE THE VERY BEST. When he finally go to lvl 30, (not level, lvl! only pros use lvl!) it was a rare case in which the Audino was left with Red health, (I wanted to see how much damage he dealt.) Suddenly, the music stopped, and the following scene happened
Audino used Oran Berry! Audino regained health!
Lucky disobeyed orders! Lucky used sulk!
Audino is very curious about Lucky!
Lucky is sulking!
Audino used comfort!
But it failed!
(and the last thing that was used chilled me to my core and made me cry like a little bitch)
??? used Guillotine!
I watched as the Pokémon's health dropped to 0, but it wasn't the wild one, it was my own. Lucky let out his miserable cry, but instead of just sinking into the ground, a whole sort of cutscene played. Lucky looked up at the Audino, opening his eyes for the first time in hours, and smiled. He then turned around to me, and smiled even wider. I was forced to watch my beloved Lucario's death with tears in my eyes. Pixel by pixel, his head slid off of his neck and fell onto the ground, I was powerless to stop it. His once strong and powerful body collapsed in a pool of his own I3lood. I threw my 3Ds down and made a sprint for the bathroom. I hunched over the sink and cried like a kindergartener who had scraped her knee on the playground. I kept saying the same things over and over again
He's not real, get over it. He's not real, get over it. He's not real, get over it. He's not real, get over it.
But it failed.
After 10 minutes, I went back into my living room and picked up the system, a roll of tp in my hand. Now there was a text box across the bottom of the top screen that only said "Thank you. For everything." His final words... I couldn't take it. With a quivering lip, I muttered "You're welcome, Lucky, you're always welcome..."
I was then sent back to the overworld, and I heard it. My trigger. First, it was the pitiful Lucario cry of when one faints. Then there it was, the one that made me clenche my toes so hard I heard a couple pop
It was that fucking little girl's laughter (THAT LITTLE BITCH)
She chuckled, and then another textbox appeared saying "Huh? Lucky's body has disappeared! Relax, I'll fix him." The screen flashed black 6 times for 2.75783658 seconds each, then a sprite appeared in the top left corner of the grotto in the little grotto. It was a little girl with brown hair up in pigtails, she had blue eyes and was wearing a violet blouse with dark read overalls. I knew it was her, I KNEW it. The girl that laughed at him, the one who drove my Lucario to the brink of insanity. Through my tears, I clenched my teeth with rage and ran up to her, and almost immediately thrown into battle with the little fuck. I had to beat her, I was flooded with this emotion and at the time, I just couldn't explain it... But then, it hit me like an earthquake.
I was...
I was...
I was...
I WAS FILLED WITH DETERMINATION!!!!!!!
Trainer Roll would like to battle!
Trainer Roll sent out Emboar!
She threw out a lvl 72 Emboar, it too was bleeding from the eyes and was hunched over and depressed. I started to sweat, when I realized it only had 1 HP left (haaaa... HumpPoints....haaaa) My Dewott, Champ, easily took it out, but at the last second, I swear I saw something on it's neck, st-st-st-stitches? All of her Pokémon were the same way, Golduck, Absol, Golurk, Latios, all depressed, bleeding I3lood from the eyes, stitches on their necks and 1 HP, I took them all out without a problem, thank god I taught my Herdier, Lui, Rock Smash. Throughout the battle I was regretting of being kind to her, to Roll. For Making playful and friendly rivalry with her, for getting Oshawott for that soul reason. Regretting about not erasing her scrapbook of Black 2 from fucking existence! Then I realized that I had only beaten 5 of her Pokémon, she had 6 altogether. When it appeared, my heart sank into my stomach, I still threw out my Tranquill to combat it's type, but I didn't want to hurt it, I knew who it was...
Roll sent out Lucario!
He was the only Pokémon in that little shit's party with a name, the name I gave him from when I caught him at the ranch as a Riolu, the one I trained for pure and utter greatness, the one who I'd have sexticles with planet earth with. Lucky wasn't hunched over, but he was in battle position, paws in the air ready to battle for his captor. he was the same as the others, except even worse. He had stitches on his neck, keeping his decapitated head tethered to his body, but they were profusely bleeding dark red I3lood. His eyes were open, but they were nothing but black and empty sockets. His jaw was hanging loose around his neck, and part of his cheeks that were connecting most of his jaw were ripped through the middle, his tong hung out of his mouth like a gooey slug. His entire head lolled to the side, stretching the right side of his stitches, opening his neck wide allowing for more I3lood to come out. His tail was mangled as if it was ran over multiple times by a vehicle. He had 1 HP point left, Tranquill could take him out no problem, Flying was good against Fighting after all. I couldn't do it though, it was to hard to. I stared at this shambling corpse that used to be my make-believe companion for the longest time. I decided to put him out of his misery. I had to.
A single Wing Attack took care of him easily, instead of his fainting cry, he let out a low and pitiful gurgle.
You won! You gained 666 for wining!
I didn't feel like I won though, it was bad enough Lucky died by decapitation, but he was then brought back to life and horribly mutilated to make him "stronger, faster, better" he was the million peso Pokémon in HER eyes, but in mine, he was worth way more. I didn't really play the White 2 afterwards, I just couldn't find the strength. A few months afterwards, I got a package in the mail with no return address. I brought it home and opened it up, and on top there was a note. "Please, don't feel guilty about me, you were the best trainer anyone could have ever asked for, you never let any of us faint, and if you did, you made sure none of us would again. Don't forget me." I dug through the packing cucumbers and found that it was a D-Arts Lucario figure, but it was different. instead of it's straight expression, it had a smile, a kind and warming one, it made me feel like everything would be ok, that everything would be alright.
Too bad I already had one. I just put it in my attic along with the White 2.
I don't really go in the attic anymore.
Category:Pokemon
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Trollpasta