Larry Craig

Larry "Wide Stance" Craig was a Republican Senator from Council, Idaho, USA who is not gay and never has been gay. He is best known for his hardcore theocratic bent and for pleading guilty to "lewd conduct" in an airport restroom.Thank those who kept Idaho part of round Earth Jim Fisher January 9, 2006 Lewiston Morning TribuneSen. Larry Craig Denies Wrongdoing, Leaves Romney Campaign After June Arrest Fox News Monday, August 27, 2007 He is totally not gay.
==Community Life Amendment==
On June 15, 1989, Craig co-sponsored the anti-abortion Community Life Amendment in the US Senate which would amend the constitution to "allow voluntary prayer and the teaching of the Judeo-Christian ethic in public schools."Text of the Community Life Amendment from THOMAS
The amendment had four wide-reaching prongs:
He is not gay.
==Lewd conduct==
In 1982, the FBI investigated accusations of sexual abuse made against fifteen congressional employees by two male interns. Craig responded to the investigation by making a public denial of all "accusations" against him...except that none of the men accused had been publicly identified.Dan Popkey, Men's room arrest reopens questions about Sen. Larry Craig. Idaho Statesman, 21 October 2015. Oops.
On August 8th, 2007 Craig plead guilty to disorderly conduct charges. Craig was arrested June 11 by a plainclothes officer investigating complaints of lewd conduct in a men's restroom at the airport. Not gay.
He has attempted several methods to try and "make it go away" including filing to withdraw his guilty pleaCraig files papers to withdraw guilty plea in sex sting and failing at both the Minnesota district courtState of Minnesota v Larry Edwin Craig and Minnesota appellate courtSen. Craig loses appeal in airport sex sting case also resulting in four more gay men independently coming forward with allegations of previous encounters with him.More gay men describe sexual encounters with U.S. Sen. Craig – this is obvious nonsense, as he isn't gay. Now, he is claiming various forms of confusion and stupidity as a retroactive defense against his plea. He also said that he would never trawl for men in Boise. Why bust on Boise, dude? One is left to wonder why he didn't simply beat the rap, if it was so insubstantial. Especially as he isn't gay.
==Too much information==
Senator Craig alleges, in his attempts to minimize the exposure of the errors of his ways, that when using the toilet in a sitting position, he takes a very "wide stance."Craig: I did nothing 'inappropriate' in airport bathroom Eeeew. (Even for an instant cliche.)
Apparently he also does not flush or wash his hands (as a gay man always would), either, perhaps because the police officer had, by then, placed him neatly into a pair of handcuffs.
==Still not gay==
And never has been gay.Craig: I'm Not Gay, Did Nothing Wrong
==Jokes==
*Larry Craig, due to his exploits, was inducted into the Hall of Fame. Not the entire hall, just the bathroom. The non-gay one.
*"Senator Craig defiantly vowed today to serve out his term. And when Larry Craig makes a vow, you know he means it. Okay, except for the marriage vow." - Jay Leno
*"Senator Craig from Idaho is blaming the media for his guilty plea, especially that cute guy from the Associated Press." - David Letterman
*"It's kind of ironic. The whole time he was copping a feel, he was actually feeling a cop." - Jay Leno
==See also==
*Haggard's Law
*Not gay
==External links==
*Documentation at The Smoking Gun
*Larry Craig is Completely Heterosexual (and, for the avoidance of doubt, he is not gay)
*Larry Craig gets hitchslapped
==References==
Category:Anti-abortion activists
Category:Chickenhawks
Category:Christians
Category:Completely heterosexual
Category:Creationists
Category:Former United States Senators
Category:Former United States Representatives
Category:Homophobes
Category:Living people
Category:Musicians
Category:Right-wing activists
Category:Theocracy