Joel's Quest

I am Joel, a knight living in the kingdom of Larion. I have a steel longsword and a wooden shield. I am on a quest to defeat the evil dragon of Larion. I've heard he lived up at the north of the kingdom. I set on the path to defeat him and walked into a dark forest. As I entered the forest, I saw a large black dragon flying overhead. It's wingspan was over ten feet.
"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?" I shouted. 
The dragon looked down at me and his eyes glowed red. He growled and flew straight towards me.
I then grabbed one of the dragon's wings and pulled it back as hard as I could. The dragon let out a roar and swooped down from above. It landed right next to me and it's talons dug into my arm. I screamed and dropped my sword.
I then stood up and began to run around the dragon while holding onto the wing. The dragon turned and began to circle me, trying to get a good look at me. I kept running around and soon found myself face to face with another dragon. This one was much bigger than the last.
I quickly turned around and did a flip over the dragon's head. The dragon roared and flew away. I sat there for a moment, panting and wondering what just happened. Then, I remembered that I needed to rest.
I then walked over to a nearby tree and started drinking some of the lake water. I drank until I felt full and then lied down in the grass. I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up groggy and realized that I was still lying in the grass. I rubbed my eyes and saw that I was not alone. There was a girl standing near the edge of the lake. She had long blonde hair and wore a dress made of leaves.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I screamed.
"I'm sorry, but I had to come here." She replied.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"My name is Elana. I live in this village called Nalin." She replied.
She stared at me before turning her attention back to the lake. I took advantage of this distraction and breathed fire at her. Her skin started to burn and she screamed in pain. She tried to run away, but I caught her and slammed her against the ground.
I then threw her aside and smashed her head into the ground several times. Blood poured out of her skull and I laughed.
I then started to beat her body with metal until she died. After I was finished, I stood up and noticed that the sun was rising. I looked at the sky and thought: "It's almost time for me to go home..."
I smiled and began to dance. I swung my arms and legs wildly and then fell backwards onto the ground. 
I jumped up and down and attempted to imitate the famous video game character Mario. Unfortunately, I ended up falling flat onto my face. I tried again and managed to land on my feet.
I jumped up and down and attempted to mimic Luigi. However, instead of jumping on top of a house, I ended up landing on the ground. I tried again and managed to land on my feet.
I then looked around and saw nothing interesting happening. I sighed and began to walk away. Suddenly, I heard a voice behind me.
I stopped and listened carefully. A woman's voice called out to me.
I turned around and screamed at the top of my lungs. A woman smiles and waved goodbye. I walked along the shoreline for a few minutes before finally returning to the forest.
I then ate a bunch of berries and mushrooms and returned to the forest. I spent the night eating and sleeping. In the morning, I gathered all the food I ate and put it in a bag. I packed everything up and set off to return to the castle.
I arrived at the castle and immediately noticed something strange. The doors were locked and the guards were nowhere to be seen. I searched the castle and found no trace of the guards. I also found that the castle has been completely trashed.
I celebrated by destroying the place. I broke windows, smashed furniture, and generally caused chaos. Eventually, I made my way outside where I feasted on the corpses of the guards.
I then called upon my familiar and he appeared. He looked very tired and weak. He told me that he needed to rest and asked if I will help him. I agreed and he went to sleep. I told him to stay close and to never leave my side.
I looked at my familiar and realized that he was dead. He was killed by an assassin when I was fighting the assassin. I mourned his death and began to weep. I then proceeded to kill everyone in sight.
I then decided to burninate the entire town. I burninated the whole town and even the surrounding countryside. It took weeks for the fires to die down and eventually, the people were able to return to their homes. I celebrated by burninating the entire town again.
I then became fully demon and rejoiced in my new found power. I soon began to hunt down other towns and villages. I slaughtered them all. I reveled in the destruction.
I then equipped some gamer glasses and began to stalk the countryside. I felt like I've got a lot more control over what I shot now. I enjoyed killing people and enjoying the blood they spilled.
I then began to prepare a war between demons and humans. I began to build a massive army of demons. I planned to invade the neighboring kingdoms. 
I then began to spread my wings of bloody blood. I was not sure how I felt about this, but I decided to join the war effort.
I then lead my troops into battle. I was victorious and soon, I began to conquer the nearby lands. Soon, I captured the capital city and began to rule as the new ruler of the demon realm.
I laughed on the skull throne. I have conquered the world and I reveled in my victory.
I then celebrated by taking a nap.
THE END
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Memes
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:Pointless Violence