You have two cows/11

==1==
;1337 : Y00 |-|@\/ 2 |<0\/\/Z 101Z
==A==
; AAAAAAAAA! : AAAAA AAA AAAAA AA A AAAAAAA AA AAAA AAA AAAA.!
;African clicky noises : Klickx! X!click !klikk! k'clack kl!ck.
;Afrikaans : U het twee koeie.
;Al Bhed: Oui ryja dfu lufc.
;Amish : I have two cows, but you cannot see them because we don't have electricity.
;Amish 2 : Oh yes, I have two cows. They're out in the barn we built this morning. Would you like to see? Oh, and no photos or videos please.
;AOL : u hav 2 cows??/
;Arabic : لديك اثنين من الابقار. 
;American : You have two hamburgers.
;Armenian : Երկու կով ունիս
;Attorney :
Attorney: You stated in your affidavit that you have two cows. Is this correct?
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: Yet you told the court earlier that you have three cows, did you not?
;Australian : Fuck the cows, chuck another steak on the barbie and get me a beer!
;Aza Mazian : Youzay hazayve twozay cowzays.
==B==
;Babelized : They appear at the moment with the 2 clean cows.
;Baby Speak : Mama and Dada have two moo-moos.
;sdrawkcaB : .swoc owt evah uoY
;Bad English : Youz gat 2 fckn kowz.
;Bartixan : Yix Tix Cixz 
;Bengali (Bangal) : Tor duita goru ase, Shallah! তোর দুইটা গরু আসে, সাল্লা!
;Bengali (Ghoti) : Apnar dukhana goru ache. আপনার দুখানা গরু আছে। 
;Bill and Ted : You totally have two cows, dude! EXCELLENT!
;Bill Clinton : You have two cows, depending on what the meaning of "you", "have", "two" and "cows" is.
;Billy Mays: HI! BILLY MAYS HERE TO SELL YOU TWO COWS! ONLY FOR THREE EASY PAYMENTS OF $199.95! HURRY! SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED! BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! BUY TWO COWS AND GET A THIRD ONE FREE!
;Binary : 01001110 01001111 00100000 01000010 01001001 01001110 01000001 01010010 01011001 00100000 01000011 01001111 01010111 01010011 00100000 01000110 01001111 01010010 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00101100 00100000 01000010 01001001 01010100 01000011 01001000 
;Boomhauer : Yup, I tell ya what man, you got those two cows goin' on there man, that's a lot o' milk there, me I just buy milk from the corner store man, they got a special, buy one quart get one free man.
;Brazilian Portuguese : Você tem duas vacas. Uma é a sua mulher. A outra eu não sei, talvez seja você mesmo, só que sem os chifres.
;Black Hand (Brotherhood of Nod) : One vision, one purpose, two cows.
;Brotherhood of Nod : The Two Cows live!
;Bulgarian : Имаш две родопски крави!
;Bulgarian English : You are have two kravas! Да тъ еба, не разбираш... TWO... KRAVAS!
==C==
;Canada : Yoo have two cows, eh? Vouz avez deux vaches, hein?
;Caveman : Hrroom! Hrrum! Hrrussh! Hrruup!
;Chatspeak : u hv lyk 2 cws wtf lol brb 
;Chinese (Cantonese): 真係唔明喇，點解你有兩頭bull，但係冇半頭牛呀？
;Chinese (Simplified) : 哞～挣钱的同胞们的两头牛请交给中国共产党保管 
;Chinese (Traditional): 哞～你已經有兩頭牛！請繼續努力賺錢，吃吧！
;Chinese (Literal) : 你有两头牛。
;Chinese (Death Note): ni you liang tou niu. Ni na le yi tou, ba ta gei CHI LE.
;Cherokee : 'tso u-ha 'ta-'li wa-ga (Ꮶ ᎤᎭ ᏔᎵ ᏩᎦ)
;Chocobo : Wark? Kweh! Kweh! KWEH! 
;Coach Z : You haerve two CAAAOOOOOORRRRRRRWWWS!!
;Cockney English : Blimey! You 'ave a couple a' Chairman Maos. Nuff said, yeah?
;Comedian : Two cows walk into a bar...
;Communist : Those two cows belong to everyone.
;Cow : Moo.
;Cow 2: Nobody asked me about any of this two cow business!
;crazzzy: ääääääääg pölöpååååååppeli hüüt.
;Crash Bandicoot Talk: Ahoo gagabadibbadababibble.
;Croatian : Imaš dvije krave. Ali si u onome sistemu imao tri.
;Crono : ... ... ... ... .
;Cryptography : MQG B7JX EZQ HQZA
;Cynicalese : You have two cows.....riiiiiiiight. This is a bunch of bullshit!
;Czech : Máš dvě krávy.
==D==
;Danish : Du har to køer
;Danish (Translated) : You have two cows.
;Danish½ : Du ejer ingen køer da Sverige og Tyskland har erklæret det som krigsbytte for alle de krige du har tabt. 
;Danish½ (Translated) : You don't have any cows since Sweden and Germany have claimed it to pay off all those wars that you have lost.
;Dirty Talk : Are those two cows in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
;Divehi (Maldives) : ތިބޭޅާ އަތްޕުޅުގަ އޮތީ ދެގެރި އިނގޭތޯ؟
;Dolphin (language) : K'kkk squeeek squak'kkkk squee!
;The 3 Dot Language : ...
;Draconic: You had two cows....but then you got hungry and ate them.
;Draconic (Native Language): Image:Draglang.png‎
;Duck: Quack quack quack quack.
;Dutch : Je hebt twee koeien, en ze zijn allebei stoned.
;Dyslexic : Yuo heav tow cwos.
==E==
;Early Modern English : Thou hast two kine.
;Ebonics : Shiiiit, yo. Y'all be gettin' yo' two cows on like a muthafucka.
;EGB13: Lbh unir gjb pbjf.
;Egyptian hieroglyphs :
 (__)
 (oo)
 /-------\/ | |
 / | || | |
 * ||----|| | |
 ^^ ^^
;Egyptian hieroglyphs 2 :
(>.<)_,,!,, U!
;Elvish
: Elda Haryanëryë yaxët ono ùmëa nauco macët. (An elf had two cows, but an evil dwarf killed them.)
;Engrish : Two cow are berong to you.
;Engrish (2) : There is have two cows. You is operate many mirk of both to make.
;Enron My two cows beacame four after I sold them to a subisdy in the Cayman Islands before multiplying them by two to ensure that, instead of 8 cows, I actually had 9 from the beginning, but sold those 11 cows so I would not have to report them in the Fiscal Report.
;Esperanto : Vi havas du bovinojn. Unu parolas la ĉinan kaj unu parolas la litovan, sed ili ambaŭ povas paroli flue Esperanton.
;Estonian : Sul on kaks lehma. Amuuu..
;Ethiopian : Hah-boo-gee-snik-gowah-Kow! Gowah gowah eat!
;Evil Overlord : Foolish man. You think you have the upper hand because you have two cows? That is what I wanted you to think. Even now, a microscopic bio-nanobot army tears through your cows' blood system, rendering them milkless. If you want your cows to live you will have twenty nine minutes to relinquish the obsidian mind crystal to me or I will crush them like it is only too easy to do so.
==F==
;Filipino (Tagalog) : Ikaw ay may dalawang mga baka.
;Finnish : Sinulla on kaksi lehmää. Sulla on kaks lehemää. Mutsillas oli kaks lehmää.
;Finnish (translated): You have two cows. U av 2 cowz. Ur mom had 2 cowz.
;Flemish : Awel, gij hebt twee koeien he, moar ons Bella, da's een kwaai zenne!
;French : Vous avez deux vaches... mais elles sont en grêve depuis que l'on veut vendre leur oncle en steak haché avec des freedom fries dans un McDo.
;French : Fetchez les deux vaches!!
:Les quois?!
==G==
;Gangsta: yo, ya matha ****ing loco cows are righta hierrrrraaaaaaaaa!!!((gunshot))
;George Bush : I am the decider. I have decided your two cows will fight in Iraq.
;German : Du hast zwei Kühe. Eine ist arbeitslos. Sieg Heil!
;German (Translated) : You have two cows. One is unemployed. Victory!
;German before the Reunion : Du hast zwei Kühe. Zwischen beiden steht eine Mauer.
;German before the Reunion (Translated) : You have two cows. There's a wall between them.
;Greek : Έχετε δύο αγελάδες.
;Groundhogese : Hehaa chitter ooat urp.
;Gumby : MMM! MMMM! MMM MMMM!!
==H==
;Hebrew : !אחי, יש'ך שתי פרות Achi, Yesh le'cha shtei parot! 
;Hindi (Correct version) : Aapke paas do gaayen hain. आपके पास दो गायें हैं । (Means: You have two cows)
;Hindi (Translated by Google Translate) : Aap do gayon hai. आप दो गायों है| (Means: You are two cows)
;Hungarian : Két tehened van. Statisztikák készülnek róluk és kiderül, hogy átlagosan 5.4 lábuk van és 3 amper tejet csinálnak. A Magyar Köztársaság Kormánya köszöni, hogy ennek a tejnek 95.74%-ának árával politikusaink zsebét tömi.
;Hungarian 2 : My hovercraft is full of cows.
;Huttese :Gru i gren groag cogrs
;Hyperbolic : Oh my fucking god, everyone has two-hundred cows!
==I==
;Icelandic : Þú hefur tvær kýr. 
;Icelandic (2) : Til allra sem geta lesið þetta: til hvers eruð þið að eiða tímanum í svona dellu. Slökvið á tölvunni, farið út og hlaupið nokra hringi í kringum húsið ykkar. Og þegar þið komið aftur inn skulið þið lesa góða bók!!! TAKK FYRIR. (Á meðan ég man: Þú átt tvær kýr, þær segja mu)
;IM: OMG u hav, lk, 2 cowz!!1!
;Incoherent Grunts : Unngh! UUUUNGH! Uuhnghhng!
;Incoherent Statements : You said your grandmother licked soda towels.
;Indonesian : Kamu punya dua sapi. Kamu curi satu sapi portugis. Sapi yang portugis lari sama tetangganya kamu.
;Indonesian, Bahasa Gaul : Eloe punya sapi dua. Sapi loe keren abiz bo'.
;Invisible Ink : you have two cows.
;Irish : Tá dhá bhó agat. Deir siad múúúúú.
;Irony : You had two cows, until they trampled each other.
;Italian : Tu hai due mucche.
==J==
;Japanese, Formal : 貴方は牛を二頭所有している。 (anata-ha ushi-wo nitou shoyuu-shiteiru)
;Japanese, Colloquial : お前んち、牛二頭いんじゃん。 (omae-n-chi, ushi-nitou-in'jan)
;Japanese, Pokemon : 牛二頭ゲットだぜ！ムー！ (Two cows GET! Mū!)
;Japanese, VIPPER : ちょｗｗｗｗﾃﾗ牛二頭ｗｗｗｗｗｗｗおまｗｗｗｗ
;Japanese, Tsundere : べ、別にあんたのために牛が二頭いるわけじゃないんだからね！
;Japanese, weaboo: TWO COWS DESU!!!NEKO BAKA KAWAII ONICHAN!!!!!
;Javanese : Kowe duwe sapi loro. Siji nggo aku wae ya?
;Javanese, Krama : Sampeyan ngagem sapi kalih. Setunggal kangge kula mawon nggih?
;Javanese, Walikan : Nyothe muthe bahi ngoyo. Bici lto panyu thae ra?
;Jive : Youse have two cows.
;Jive 2 : Aw, hell yeah! Daaamn, this jive-ass sucker done got hisself two of da finest cows this brutha ever saw! Y'knaw what I'm sayin'? Shonuff ya do!
==K==
;Kannada : Nimma hatthira erada akalu ide.
;Kannada Local : Sisya nin thava eldu hasugalu aithe.
;Kazakh : You are have two cow, worth half price of low-quality wife! Is nice, you like?
;Kazakh 2: You don't have two cows. You have two horses.
;Kazakh 3: You have two cow... NOT!
;Kitty : Meow Meow Meow Meow
;Kiwi : You got two cows but you're to busy having sex with sheep to notice
;Klingon : cha' tangqa' Daghaj
;Konkani : Tuka don pade assa
;Kontinlanguage (Fenno-Anglic pig Latin) : Kouyontti kovehantti kootwontti kowscontti. Koeythontti kon'tdontti konderstanduntti kontinkonttikonguagelantti.
;Korean (literal) : 너는 소 두 마리를 가지고 있다. (Neoneun so du marireul gajigo itta.)
;Korean (South) : 당신은 소 두 마리를 가지고 있습니다. 지금 최신 사양의 소로 교체하시면 송아지 한 마리가 무료! (Dangsineun so du marireul gajigo isseupnida. Jigeum choesin sayang-ui soro gyochehasimyeon song-aji han mariga muryo!)
;Korean (North) : 동무는 당에서 내려준 소 두 마리를 갖고 있소. 그 소를 잘 키우는 것은 장군님과 당에 대한 동무의 의무요. (Tongmunŭn TANG-esŏ naeryŏjun so tu marirŭl katko isso. Kŭ sorŭl chal k'aunŭn kŏsŭn CHANGGUNNIMgwa TANG-e taehan tongmuŭi ŭimuyo.)
;Kurdish : Du mângana te heye.
;Krio: You two cows deh.
==L==
;Latin (Cicero) : Habes in nomine Senati Populique Quiritii Romanorum duas vaccas.
;Latin (Virgil) :
:Velut mundum torques sedulus, Iuppiter pater,
:Duas vaccas omnibus possedisti mirandas.
;Lithuanian : Dvi karvutės, dvi karvutės žalią žolę ėdė...
;Lithuanian*2 : You have 2 cows, they're currently being massacred by Teutonic knights because the farmer doesn't worship Jesus
;Latin : Vaccas duas habes.
;Latvian : Tev ir divas govis. Tā melnā ir okupante.
;Lolcat : I can has two cows?
;Lorem Ipsum : Lorem ipsum cows dolor sit amet.
==M==
;Mafia: We're gonna make your two cows an offer thay cannot refuse, capisce?
;Malay : Anda mempunyai dua lembu.
;Maltese : Għandek żewg baqriet. (The European Union tries to translate this!)
;Mancunian : E'ar! 'E's got two fuckin' cows! Blindin'!
;Manglish : Where can two cows like that. Aiyah, oklah.
;Maori : Yous fellas got two cows bro, huhuhuhu!
;Massachusetts: You got ta cows. Wonda why. 'Scuse me, I'm goin' ta da bubbla. Afta dat, I'll go pawk ma caw in da yawd.
;Marathi : Tumchyakade don gaai aahet. Tyana pujaa karawa.
;Mayan: 'a nu cha' ch'ab'
;Metropolitan : I'VE GOT YOUR F*CKING COWS RIGHT HERE!
;Middle English : Thou hast twa kine. Mou.
;Mimomo: Mimo ma moomoo momo.
;Minnesotan : Uff-da! You got two cows dere, you betcha.
;Modern Welsh : Is there any Marijuana on you?
;Moldavian : Nu, iaca tu tipa ai douâ vaşi...
;Morse
: -.-- --- ..- / .... .- ...- . / - .-- --- / -.-. --- .-- ... / -... ..- - / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .- -. .----.
: - / .-. . .- -.. / - .... . -- / -... . -.-. .- ..- ... . / - .... . -.-- / .- .-. . / .. -. / -- --- .-. ... .
;MooSpeak: Moo mooo moo cows.
;Mr. Saturn : HAvE TwO COws, BOinG! DAKOTA!
==N==
;Nadsat : You have dva korovas, some veck crasts them off you. You gavoreet to some of your droogs, itty 'round his place, and filly and dratsy with him to set him right.
;Nadsat 2 : You have dva korovas. You drink some moloko plus.
;Newspeak : 2 cows are ownwise. If 2 cows are pluswise, 5 cows fullwise.
;Norwegian : Du har to kuer.
;Norwegian, north : Du din førbanna hæstkuk har to kua.
==O==
;Obama : With these two cows, Hope and Change, we can make America a better place.
;Oklahoman : You have two cows. Why can't we be in Texas, instead?
;Old Welsh : Mae gennych chi ddwy fuwch.
;Old English : Þú hæfst twá cý.
;:OOOOOOOOO ::ooo dude you have two cows!!!.
;Ostrobothnian : Sullon kaks itikkaa, mut mullonki enemmä!
;Otaku : Wai-wai! You has two cows. That is so kawaii!
==P==
;Paris Hilton : you have two cows... That's Hot! Wanna have a four way with the cows?
;Pig Latin : Habe tuous couus quid latinus ueryus goodus speacent.
;Pig Latin the second : ouryay othermay adhay wotay owscay
;Polish : Masz dwie krowy, ale przed 1989 miałeś tylko kartki na krowy i musiałeś czekać 10 lat aż dostaniesz krowy.
;Polish Poznań dialect : źęń 2 żółść, kurwa tej!
;Political Candidate : If I am elected, I promise to provide everyone with two cows.
;Portuguese : You've got two cows, que porra!
;European Portuguese : Tu tens duas vacas, e fazes uma bicha para vendê-las a uns putos.
;Brazilian Portuguese : Você tem duas vacas, não vai tomar leite do boi, porra!!!
;Proto-Gibberish : ??¿?COW
;Proto-Indo-European: duwo-s gwou-o káp-si
==Q==
;Québécois : V'z'avé deux vaches, d'calisse en m'dit tartôfoffies!
;Québécois : Bin oui, t'as deux vaches. Kessé k'tu veux bin k'ça m'crisse?
;Québécois : Tes deux vaches sont plus petites que les miennes. J'te jure.
==R==
;Redneck English : Yo' haf two cows.
;Redneck English (2): Yup, ya got yerself coupla cows thar...yup..mmmmm hmmm.
;Romanian : Ai două vaci.. pe care ti le-a luat apa. (You have two cows.. and the flood took them away)
;ROT13 : Lbh unir gjb pbjf, ohg gurl tbg gnxra njnl sbe artyrpg nsgre lbh fcraq ubhef ba gur vagrearg gnyxvat va EBG13!
;Putin : There is no such thing as 2 cows.
;Russian : А ты уже поимел двух коров?
;Russian 2 : Чoц hдvе тwo cфшs.
;Russian Reversal : In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!
;Russian Russian Reversal : В Советской России, у двух коров есть ТЫ!
;Russian Russian Reversal Reversal : В Капиталистической Америке, две коровы вас похоронят!
==S==
;Sanskrit : tava sameeepe dvou gaavaou staha..
;Sarcasm : Nah, you don't say, you have have two cows.
;Scooby-Doo-ish : Roo rav roo rows.
;Scottish Gaelic : Tha dà bò agad.
;Scottish English : Ye cannae huv two coos.
;Screaming Madman Dialect: FUCK! EVERYONE HAS TWO COWS EXCEPT ME BECAUSE THEY TOOK MY COWS AWAY? WHO IS THEY? GOOD QUESTION! I DON'T KNOW! LET'S ASK THAT FUCKING COW!
;Senator : An act mandating that everyone have two cows and declaring an emergency.
;Serbian : Имаш две краве.
;Simlish : Uwah shnanamo.
;Simon Ray : Ur a Nigel, duckhead!
;Simple : Cows. Two.
;Singlish : Wah lau eh, you got two cows sia. 
;Slovak : Máš dve kravy.
;Snoop Dogg : Fo Shizzle Two Cavizzle Mah Nizzle
;Spanish : Tienes dos vacas. D VRAS?
;Spanish 2 : Tienes dos vacas, y ya no le saces leche al guey!
;Argentinian Spanish : Che, chabón, tenés dos vacas boludo.
;Chilean Slang : Este hueón tiene dos vacas.
;Mexican Slang : Presta las vacas carnal.
;Spanglish : You have dos cows, pendejo.
;Spoonerism : Mardon me padam, I believe you have coo Taos.
;Steve Ballmer : Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers!
;Sumerian : (shu ishu shina ab ana) 
left|thumb|470px
;Swedish : Du har två kor.
;Swedish (2) : du ba har två kor å dom ba börja knulla typ *skrattar*
;Swedish (3) : Yuoo hefe-a tvu cows. Tudee, ve veel meke-a zee sooper schmurty-flurty-beeshy-boshy milk! Bork bork bork! Und um de hur, de hur de her, de cow udders...
;Swahili : Unakuwa mibili ng'ombe 
==T==
;Tamil : Ungalidam irandu Pasukkal ullana. Pasu paal kodukkum. உங்களிடம் இரண்டு பசுக்கள் உள்ளன . பசு பால் கொடுக்கும் .
;Tamil (Madras) : Unnaanda redndu maadu keethuba! maadu paal kudukkum, atha kuduchuttu ootaanda nalla kalaaikalaam! உன்னாண்ட ரண்டு மாடு கீதுப்பா ! மாடு பால் குடுக்கும் , அத்த குட்சுட்டு ஊட்டாண்ட னல்லா கலாய்க்கலாம்
;Tamil (Maniratnam) : நீ , ரெண்டு , மாடு !! Nee , Rendu , Maadu
;Tlön-Uqbar : It youly cowed twice.
;Toki Pona : sina jo e soweli tu ante. taso la ona tu li mu sama. 
;Tomswifty : "Your two cows give excellent milk," Tom uddered.
;Turkish : İki ineğiniz var...
;Turkish (2) : ÖKÜÜÜÜÜZZZZZ!!!!!!
;Turkish (3) : O diil de sizin iki ineğiniz vardı nooldo onlara?
;Turkish (4) : Bayramda altı aile iki ineğe girdik.
;Typo : Yuo have tow wosc
;Typo - 2 : You have two vows.
==U==
;Uncertain : You have two cows. At least, I think you do. Are those cows? Or cardboard ones, maybe? Um... Maybe 1 cow and 1 over-sized white pig with black spots?
==V==
;Valley Girl : You like, totally have two cows, man! OMG!
;Vince : Hi it's Vince with ShamCow. You'll be saying Cow every time you use this towel. It's like a shammy, it's like a cow. A regular cow doesn't milk wet. This one milks dry, and wet.
==W==
;West Midlands English : "What am those?" "They'm two cows."
;Whale : Youuuuuu Haaaaaave twwwwwwwwoooooooo Cooooowws
World of Warcraft : 2 cows looking for group plz fast
==Y==
;Yiddish : Two cows? That schlemiel? Oy, a shaynim broches. I should have such mazel!
;Yoda : Two cows you have. Cows lead to milk. Milk leads to Dairy Products. Dairy Products lead to deaths of lactose intolerant individuals.
;Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged: You have two cows playing a childrens' card game. Nyeh!
==uncategorized==
;Richard Dawkins : How can you have two cows when cows do not exist! Where's your proof?! HA YOU HAVE NONE! THEREFORE YOU CANNOT HAVE ANY COWS AND COWS DO NOT EXIST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T PROVE IT!!!!!!!! YOUR ARGUMENTS ARE IRRATIONAL, ILLOGICAL, AND IMPROBABLE (they are the only words in his vocabulary)!!! *Has a tantrum, and is hailed as the best scientist ever and as a God by too many atheists, even though they don't believe in God, thanks to the research of Richard Dawkins*
;Nazi : Vee haf 2 cow to make you talk. Vee vill kill ze two cows if you don't talk.
;Flemish : Je hebt twee koeien. Een wil vlaamse onafhankelijkheid, de ander vindt haar een lompe koei. Je eet de eerste koe op.
;Gamer: All your cow are belong to us
;Goku: What's a cow? Does it fight fair?
;l33tGamer: u hv 2 c0wz and I'll pwn you NEwayz.
;l33tGamer 2: ha ha the n00b pwned 2 l33t cws
;n00b: Where can I download 2 cows?
;R2D2: blip blip bloop
;Oscar Wilde: The two cows are gay. 
;Dawn of War Player: There is only one mission. Kill Two cows
;Diablo 2 Player: meh I'll put wert's leg and a tome of townportal into a horadric cube and get pwned by two cows.
;Space Marine: Burn the Heretic, Kill the mutant, Milk thy two cows.
:Andorran: You don't have two cows; WE DO! RIGHT HERE ON OUR FLAG! 
nl:Je hebt twee koeien/11
ja:君は牛を二頭持っている。/多言語
zh:你有两头母牛（多国语言）
zh-tw:你有兩頭牛/多國語言