Paint.NET

This article may not be funny to all users, it is probably funny only to people who actually have some real knowledge of this product. If you do not, pleaseFUCK OFF!.
 
frame|alt=Puzzle globe|Paint.NET logo, notice that it has obviously been pan-fried very nicely by Paint.NETthumb|alt=Puzzle globe|This is a screenshot of Paint.NET as it appeared on my 1987 IBM [http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Uncyclopedia:Accuracy#Cite_Your_Sources_or_Die/ (This is a lie)]NOTE: the image itself is very large, which is why the thumbnail attribute was used
Paint.NET is a free image editor and viewer that is shit-tons better than anything Microsoft could dream of creating. It is not compatible with Windows Vista, but then, neither is ANYTHING else. 
===Background===
Paint.NET is a proprietary freeware roaster graphics editor program for Microsoft Windows. This means that it turns everything into KFC chicken. Developed on the .NET Framework. Paint.NET was originally created by Rick Astley as a Wassamata U student project, and has evolved from an enemy of the MS Paint program into something that is actually better, with support for frying, grilling, toasting, and baking.
==Programming==
Paint.NET is primarily programmed in the brainfuck programming language. Its native image format, .PDN, is a poor quality, space saving format that is compatible with nothing else. Besides the installer and some pretty pictures, Paint.NET was created with an MIT] License, meaning the Massachusetts Institute Of Technology stole the project and claimed it as the product of their own genius, licensing it back at the enormous cost of three postage stamps and a stripper factory. 
frame|alt=Puzzle globe|This is god, worship or die!
==Stealing the software from the Pastafarians==
It was originally released as open source, but due to copyright violation by the angry pastafarians trying to get their stolen software back, all files were restolen a Creative Commons license (similar to what Uncyclopedia uses) forbidding changes, and the installer was stuffed with viruses to infect any computer that tried to reclaim this glorious piece of engineering.
==Versions==
===1.0===
Version 1.0 originally had 36 lines of code and was written in 15 minutes. However, version 3.35 has about 37 lines of brainfuckcode and was written in 10 years.
===3.36===
Version 3.36 was originally created as open source, but the sources were hacked by MIT, claiming problems with their victims trying to reclaim their property. 
===3.5===
In version 3.5, the license was changed to lie about this, and pastafarians are outlawed from modifying the software even though they think they can, and MIT sues them for it. As free licenses cannot be revoked, developers can still legally develop forks based on version 3.36 and earlier, but on the condition that they submit to a webcam spy while those Nerds fap. 
===Open Source===
unlike most MIT licenses, though, the license allows users without adequate programming knowledge to ruin the software, provided that no useful improvements are made. Astley later stated that he hopes to release parts of the virus back into the public, to ensure the actual program is never copied again.
==History==
Paint.NET started as a project by a disgruntled former Microsoft employee who was appalled by the low quality of Rich Bill Gates's MS Paint and refusal to improve during spring 1987 at Wassamata U. Paint.NET was still a buggy work in progress over the summer and into the fall 1987 for versions 1.1 and 2.0 releases. The damn thing wasn't even usable until version 3.Whatever. Development continues with a patent thief who works at Microsoft and worked on the pastafarian photoshop program while he was a student at WU. As of May 2006 the program had been scrapped to preserve Microsoft's monopoly, with a total of 200 downloads. Old man Billy won again for the billionth time.
===Versions Full List===
Version	When It Came Out 	How It Got Worse
1.0 	March 1987 	Initial brainfuck programmers beta release
1.1 	July 1987 	Support for Windows 7
2.0 	August 1987 	Lots of new cook times, temperatures, and editing effects
2.5 	June 1989 	Madonna uses the software to design her like a prayer cover and to kill both Tiffany and Debbie Gibson
2.6 	January 1990 	First use of .NET Framework, name changes from Wassamata Paint to Paint.NET, full PornOS support
2.72 	November 1993 	Last version to support DOS
3.0 	November 2003 	This major release includes a bunch of language packs, including English, but Louder, pirate talk, and Elbonian. It also has a much bribed for grill mark texture changing tool, no new effects, a changeable shade of brown, ridiculously high memory consumption, and a much more cluttered user interface.
3.01 	February 2004 	This is a buggy rebuild that makes a few of the built-in viruses less detectable
3.05 	August 2004 	This needless increase to the already bloated software makes it more of a memory hog and makes the brush effects unrealistic. It also adds more bugs.
3.07 	February 2005 	This update removes any possibility of Windows Vista Minion Edition compatibility.
3.08 	November 2005 	This is a disservice release that adds some bugs, while making keyboard shortcuts unresponsive and near impossible to use.
3.10 	March 2006 	This release adds two more useless effects and support for a new file type: *.CRAPOLA. By this time, the software had to be rewritten because the bugs were unmanageable.
3.20 	September 2006 	This release adds even more ways to irreversibly screw up some effects. A disorganized menu, a big red button that does absolutely nothing, and reinstated bugs.
3.22 	January 2007 	This release fixes a few minor bugs and adds an unnecessary and bloated increase noise effect.
3.30 	April 2007 	This release adds some real world languages, a new fragment program files effect, and another obsolete and stupid file type.
3.31 	May 2007 	This is mostly a disservicing release to create a assload of important bugs
3.35 	June 2007 	This releases introduces a new Posterize adjustment, which turns the user into a piece of paper. It also drastically worsens performance.
3.36 	August 2007 	This is mostly a disservicing release to add moar bugs plox
3.5 	November 2007 	This release improved bluescreen graphics, blew up your RAM, and scrambled the UI beyond repair.
3.5.1 	November 2008 	This update made any use at all impractical, slow, and crashy.
3.5.2 	January 2009 	Program is FUCKING REBUILT AGAIN!!!!!
3.5.3 	February 2009 	This update fixes a few removed bugs.
3.5.4 	February 2010 	This update added the flatten effect, which, predictably, flattens and destroys your PC
3.5.5 	April 2010 	Program destroyed by microsoft
3.5.6 	November 2010-2015(present)	Some illegal, open source, third party development shit.
==Other People's Work That Mr. Astley Stole And Used==
===Description===
Paint.NET supports add-in bloat, which adds nauseating effects and support for even more obsolete file types. They can be programmed in .NET, though they are mostly written in brainfuck. These are created by coding slaves in the internet dungeons. Though most are simply stolen from Microsoft, some have been legitimately built in. For instance, a DDS tooth decay plugin, an Ink Scribble, and ruin Portrait effects were added to Paint.NET in version S.HIT.
===Exact Names===
Hundreds of plugins have been stolen, such as 3DStuff, which turns a 2D scribble into a grue. Some plugins decrease practicality, such as Bugs+ and RAMwaste+, both of which are designed to make a crash computer certain instead of just a strong possibility. Examples of file type plugins include Adobe PDF file type support, and some fancy blinking cursors that are really just spyware.
==Support For Thing Bill Gates Doesn't Own==
Paint.NET was made for Windows, and refuses to work with anything you didn't pay the richest man in the world for. Back when it wasopen source, there was the possibility of versions for other OSs, but then Mr. Astley got paid off by Microsoft. There was a project thatalmost had it ported to Linux, but it got shut down by expensive fucking lawyers. Anybody who still had it on their computers was eatenby one of the grues they had created.
Category:Websites