Sonic.exe But Written By A Bigger Dumbass

I am a total Sonic fan, much like everyone else. Actually, that's a lie. I live in a family full of toxic Mario fans but that's not a important detail, I brought it up for no fucking reason. Anyways, time for spooks
I was playing Sonic 06 when John Cena fucking punched my window (Not the pc lol) and threw a package into my 12 year old face like the douche he is, anyway it had a note that read:
some random kid named Tom (Not from Sonic.EXE) sent me a epic game to play so I played it because I'm a fucking idiot that would easily fall for any scam ever to be performed.
I booted up the game because I can't fucking play it if my PC isn't running the exe file
I didn't think it would be weird because exe files aren't haunted, that would be stupid
the game was called "Sonic.exe.jpg.png.nes.sfc.smc.smd.bin.vb.gb.gbc.gba.fds.iso.cdi.gdi.exe"
"What a long name I thought to myself, I'm gonna see what it is"
I booted it up and saw something very scary showed up 
The title screen was pitch black except for sonic, the emblem and title text
it read as: "Sonic? Ages"
Sonic was cross eyed and there was no copyright info in the corner
I press enter and I was brought to a character select
with 3 options
"Tails"
"Knuckles"
"Dr. Eggman"
I chose "tails" first
He walked in a line for 2 hours straight, Tails saw super spooky and cheap Halloween decorations with ketchup and strawberry jam dumped all over them 
but then he saw Sonic. Sonic turned around and he said:
"Hey Tails, what doing? I was just decorating for the spooky month"
Tails said: "Sonic, it's February you fucking idiot"
Sonic said: "oh, I'm a fucking idiot, right Tails?"
Tails said: "Yeah"
Sonic and Tails went to Angel Island and saw spoopy sonic.exe
Sonic.exe said: "Lol I'm gonna commit war crimes for no reason but cuz I'm evil mwhahahahahahhahahaha"
sonic said: "Fuck you Sonic.exe" while holding up his middle finger
Sonic.exe and sonic started to beat the shit out of each other with ketchup spewing out like a erupting volcano.
Soon enough, Sonic.exe won and fused with Sonic's body. Sonic was now possessed by a spooky 666 demon (SOOOOO FUCKING SCARY) 
Sonic.exe then went to chase tails but tails had power sneakers so he outran the evil hedgehog and survived
Sonic.exe being tired said: "As much as I want to chase that smart and sexy fox a little more, I got more souls to date, and I know who to go to next"
"Knuckles the Echidna"
Knuckles was just chilling by the Master Emerald when sonic.exe came close
Knuckles: "Oh hi soni-WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU!?!?"
Sonic.exe: "Hello knuckles, You look sexy guarding that massive rock, I wish your ass was that big, then I would be happy if you sat on my face"
Knuckles: "Bruh I'm 15 you fucking creep"
Sonic.exe: "And I'm 15 too, it's not illegal"
Knuckles: "I'm gonna beat the shit out of you pervert!!"
sonic.exe then gets beat up 
sonic.exe while getting his ass kicked says: "Aw yeah, this is so hot" 
Knuckles then runs away after beating up sonic.exe
Sonic.exe says: "I'll just go to eggman, He has a nice robuttnik!"
Before I tell you about sonic.exe's weird encounter. This trollpasta is sponsered by RAID: Shadow Legends
Nah, I'm just joking. It's about a spoopy dream (Not the Minecraft Guy)
I was in Emerald Hill Zone from Sonic 2 and Sonic.exe walked up to me and said: "You're hot, just like Chris Thorndyke."
I called sonic.exe a pedophile because he is one. HE THINKS CHRIS THORNDYKE IS HOT WHAT THE FUCK!!!!
Sonic.exe: "Not true bitch, I'm only 15"
Me: "Still fucking weird"
I woke up and played as Eggman
He ran through his Scrap Brain before running into sonic.exe
Eggman, noticing sonic.exe having weird eyes ran away screaming "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Because of Classic Sonic logic, he outruns sonic.exe but got caught while taking a breath.
Sonic.exe: "I failed dating Tails, Chris Thorndyke and Knuckles which means no butt. Will you date me?"
Eggman: "No, WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? SONIC ISN'T LIKE THIS!! HE ISN'T GAY! He doesn't even want to date anybody wtf"
Sonic.exe: "I am a sex hungry demon that possessed sonic so I could do gay stuff"
Eggman: "I mean, being gay isn't weird but doing it with minors IS WEIRD WHAT THE FUCK!!??!?"
Eggman then put Sonic.exe in a coma and brought him with him and met up with Tails and Knuckles.
They removed and destroyed the demon and sonic was back to normal
sonic: "Wow, what happened!?"
Tails, Knuckles and Eggman: "You were possessed and wanted to date us"
Sonic: "I'm not gay. WAIT, I WAS POSSESSED!?!?"
Tails: "yup"
sonic: "I wouldn't even date any of you, even if I was gay. Tails and Knuckles, you're minors and Eggman, you're the villian" 
Chris Thorndyke then fell from the sky and died,
me: "Wow, some weirdo was very horny when they made this."
Tom then broke into my house, left a spoopy plush, hid in my cloest and said:
"I'm scary sonic and I'm gonna touch your butt!!!"
me: "Shit"
Turns out, "Tom" was actually EDP445 and the game was made for him
I then beat up "Tom"
The End
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Sonic
Category:DIALOGUE!