Maria Speaks/Transcript

Jenna and Maria sit on a bench at the playground while other kids play.
Jenna: And then the ref said it was out when it was clearly in. It was so unfair.
Maria puts a sympathetic hand on Jenna’s shoulder. Arthur steps in front of the camera.
Arthur: Maria has always been really quiet.
Flashback: Arthur, Buster, Muffy and Maria play hide and seek in the Crosswire Mansion.
Arthur (narrator): She's the best at hide and seek.
While Arthur and Muffy search a corridor, Buster searches the living room.
Buster: Where is she? We've been searching for two hours.
Arthur: Okay, Maria. We give up! You win!
Maria looks out from behind a large flower pot.
Arthur (narrator): She almost never talks in class.
Flashback: Mr. Ratburn writes math problems on the blackboard.
Mr. Ratburn: Who knows the answer to number 12? Maria?
Several kids raise their hands. Maria does not, instead she writes 42 on a piece of paper and holds it up.
Mr. Ratburn: Correct.      
Maria smiles.
Arthur (narrator): She's even quiet on Halloween.
Flashback: Maria rings a lady’s doorbell on Halloween dressed as a mime.
Lady: Oh, a mime. What a creative costume.      
She puts Candy in Maria’s bag.
The flashbacks end.
Arthur: Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever even heard her speak. Hey, Mari...    
He turns and finds Maria gone.       
Arthur: Where’d she go?        
Jenna shrugs. Arthur leaves. As soon as he is gone, Maria appears behind the bench.
Maria: Phew!
~~~
Title Card: Maria runs from the News Desk
~~~
George runs into Lakewood Elementary as the bell rings. Mr. Ratburn addresses the class.
Mr. Ratburn: Exciting news, class. Lakewood is starting its very own, student-run live TV news show. It'll air every Friday and this week it's our turn to produce it. I've assigned each one of you a role. Francine, you'll be the director. Buster, you'll do the weather. Muffy will be in charge of arts and culture and our lead reporter will be Maria.
Maria: Hh!     
Everyone looks excited, but Maria looks horrified.
~~~
Later, Maria and Jenna are in the girls’ room.
Maria: This is a d-d-d-disaster. Now everyone will know that I s-stutter.
Jenna: It's no big deal. Besides, I thought you were seeing a speech therapist.
Maria: Yes b-b-but this is l-live TV. 
Jenna: Well, I think you'd be an amazing reporter. Who knows, it could be the start of a great career. You'd travel the world, be watched by millions of fans.
In a fantasy, Mr. and Mrs. Read watch Maria on TV, interviewing a Bedouin with a camel in front of pyramids.
Maria: Maria Pappas here, reporting live from Egypt. What are your thoughts on the discovery of a brand-new pyramid?
Before the Bedouin can answer, the camel brays into the microphone.
The fantasy ends.
Maria: That would be p-p-pretty amazing.
Jenna: But… if you don't want to do it, I guess they'll find someone else.
Maria: No, I mean I'll d-d-do it. Now I j-j-just have to find a way to hide my stutter.
~~~
In the music room, Francine writes “Friday’s show” on the blackboard. Buster, Muffy and George (with Wally) sit on chairs.
Francine: So we'll start the show with weather.     
Buster licks his finger and holds it up.
Buster: Hmm, partly cloudy with a 70% chance of an alien invasion.
Francine: (sighs)   Then Maria will introduce George on sports.   Wait, where is Maria?
The door opens and Maria walks in with sunglasses and a scarf. Jenna follows.
Jenna: Miss Pappas is sorry she's late but she was doing vocal warm-ups.     
She dusts off a chair and Maria sits down. Jenna sits down next to her.
Francine: As I was saying, after George we'll have Muffy on arts and then a story from our lead reporter. What have you got, Maria?
Maria: (whispers to Jenna)
Jenna: Miss Pappas will be doing an interview.
Francine: Okay... With whom?
Maria: (whispers to Jenna)
Jenna: Miss Pappas is exploring her options.
Francine: Well, you'd better decide soon. We don't have a lot of time.       
She gives Jenna some notes.       
Francine: Okay, let's practice the opening.       
Maria looks miserable. Muffy takes out her cellphone.
Jenna: Hello? Yes, I'm sure she'd love to interview you, Mr. President.     Sorry.       She's a big fan of yours too, Sir.     
She gently pushes Maria out of the door.
Buster: That's funny, I didn't even hear her phone ring.
Muffy: And you thought I was a prima donna.
~~~
Maria paces in Jenna’s room while Jenna sits on the floor. 
Maria: What am I g-g-going to d-do? I c-can't avoid t-talking forever.
Jenna: Maybe you should just tell Francine the truth.
Maria: Sh-she'll just ask Ratburn to replace me.
Mrs. Morgan comes by with some laundry.
Mrs. Morgan: Jenna, did you take out the trash?
Jenna: Yes.     
Mrs. Morgan wrinkles her brow.     
Jenna: Okay, I haven't yet but I'm going to do it right after dinner, promise.       
Mrs. Morgan leaves.
Maria: Wow, your M-mom's good.
Jenna: Yeah, she has this way of getting me to talk. All she has to do is give me that look and I spill the beans.
Maria: Hmm... M-m-maybe there's someone I c-c-could interview who would do all the t-talking for me.
~~~
On Thursday, the kids make preparations in the music room.
Maria: Buster, no one cares about the current weather on Pluto.
Buster: Tell that to the Plutonians!
Francine: Hey, Maria. Excited for our first show tomorrow?      
Maria nods.    
Francine: So today is our last rehearsal. Who have you decided to interview?        
Maria points to Muffy.        
Francine: Muffy? Why you want to interview M...?         
Muffy comes running with a chair.
Muffy: You want to interview me? What a brilliant idea. Okay, ask me anything.    
Maria and Jenna smile.
~~~
Through the viewfinder of a camera, Francine is seen with a clapperboard in front of Muffy and Maria, who sit on the stage.
Francine: Maria's interview with Muffy, rehearsal take one.    
She moves to the side. Maria stares at the unsteady camera, which is being operated by Brain.
Maria: I'm M-M-M-M... I'm h-h-here with...       
Francine and Brain exchange looks. Muffy takes over.
Muffy: Muffy Crossfire, entrepreneur, style guru and heir to the Crosswire Motors dynasty. Erm, Okay... I'm a Gemini. I love clothes, pop music, opera and, er... and helping people.     
Maria stares.    
Muffy: What? You don't think I like helping people? I do. I mean, I know sometimes I can come across as selfish but... Okay, you're right. Sometimes I am selfish but it doesn't mean I don't care about people.    
Maria looks puzzled and nods slightly.     
Muffy: You think it's easy being this smart, pretty and popular? I feel so much pressure.       
A violin is heard. Francine looks annoyed.    
Muffy: Sometimes  (sniffs)  it's just more than I can bear.  (sobs)   
Maria pats her shoulder sympathetically.
Francine: This is a news show, not ‘Hoping with Hoprah’. Sorry, Maria, but you're going to have to find someone else to interview.    
Maria offers Muffy tissues.
Muffy: (blows nose)  Ahh, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. You really are good.   
Maria smiles.
~~~
Maria and Jenna stand at Maria’s locker.
Maria: G-g-great. Where am I going to f-f-find someone who loves to t-talk as much as Muffy?
Jenna: There must be someone out there.
Behind them, Mr. Ratburn passes with Mr. Haney.
Mr. Ratburn: It's a one-act puppet opera based on Cervantes's Don Quixote. I'm performing it next month at the Community Center. You should...
Maria: Bingo!
~~~
That night, Maria feeds her goldfish.
Maria: Goodnight, Goldie. Wish me luck for tomorrow. 
She turns off the light. In her dreams, she sees a title card for “Lakewood Elementary News”.
Francine: And now the Lakewood Elementary News”. With Buster Baxter on weather, George Lundgren and Wally on sports, Muffy Crosswire with arts and culture and lead reporter, Maria Pappas.
All kids are wearing professional looking clothes. Spotlights go on and Francine starts filming. Maria sits down and wants to read her notes.
Maria: (makes sheep sound)    
She covers her mouth while the others look surprised.     
Maria: (makes horn sound)    
Muffy: What's wrong with her?
Maria: (makes turkey sound)
George: She can't talk!
Buster: She has a frog in her throat.
Francine: No, she has a... stutter!
Kids: (laugh)      
Maria looks horrified.
The dream ends.
Maria: Hh!
~~~
On Friday, Maria walks to the music room. She sees Mrs. Fink set up a TV in Molly and Slink’s class.
~~~
In the music room, Arthur and Buster hang up a sign saying “News Desk”. Muffy arranges some stylish backpacks. George adjusts his tie and one of Wally’s. Jenna holds the camera as Maria comes in.
Jenna: Hey, ready for your close up?        
Maria looks frightened. Francine grabs her.
Francine: This is it. Great idea to interview Mr. Ratburn, by the way.
Arthur: We're on in ten!
Francine: Everyone to their places!
~~~
Maria sits at the news desk.
Francine: And we're live in three, two, one…
The kids and Mr. Ratburn look expectantly at Maria. Arthur holds a cue card. Maria hesitates. Arthur points at the card.
Maria: G-g-g-g-g... G-good m-m-m-mor…
Francine: Cut to Buster!
Jenna films Buster, who is wearing a tinfoil hat and holds a weathervane with an alien and several planets.
Buster: Good morning, fellow students, earthlings and extraterrestrial life forms. Let's look at...
The other kids crowd around Maria.
Francine: What happened?
George: Are you okay?
Muffy: She's probably just nervous.
Maria: N-n-no, it's n-n-not just the nerves. I have t-t-trouble...
Francine: You have trouble with what?         
Maria walks out.
Jenna: Maria, wait!       to Francine:     She has a stutter.      
Francine and Mr. Ratburn look after Maria. Mr. Ratburn looks thoughtful.
~~~
In the woodshop room, Maria talks to the school hamster.
Maria: It was so humiliating. I bet everyone thinks there's something wrong with me. Why can't I talk to them like a talk to you?       
Mr. Ratburn stands in the door.
Mr. Ratburn: Animals are easier to talk to. I used to practice lines before school plays in front of my hermit crab, Thoreau.
Maria: I'm sorry I r-r-ruined the show. I'm sure F-f-f-francine w-w-would be happy to t-take my place.
Mr. Ratburn: Oh, I'm not here to replace you.
Maria: But m-my stutter.        
Mr. Ratburn sits down on a chair.
Mr. Ratburn: I know. But we've got a few weeks until our next show and with practice and some help, I'm sure you'll do an excellent job. That's why I choose you. Now, let's try our interview again. I think you'll find my story quite interesting.       
Maria smiles.
~~~
Later, Maria sits in her speech therapists room.
Dr. Roberts: Now relax and speak slowly.
Maria: Mmy name is Maria.     
Dr. Roberts nods.
~~~
On the soccer fields, Maria interviews Jenna using a toy tape recorder and microphone.
Maria: Mmiss Morgan, hhow did it feel to be named athlete of the year?
~~~
Maria practices in front of the mirror in the girls’ room
Maria: G-ood morning, Lakewood. T-oday's headlines... M-aria takes Elwood City by storm.
~~
The other news kids wait in the music room.
Francine: Where is she? Mr. Ratburn told me she'd be here.
Muffy: After what happened last time, who could blame her for not showing up?
Maria: I'm here!      
She comes in looking self-confident.
Jenna: You sure you wanna do this?       
Maria nods.
~~~ 
Maria sits at the news desk and Jenna powders her face.
Francine: Okay, and we're on in three, two, one.     
Maria quickly puts away a glass of water. She stares at the camera and Franince and Jenna look uneasy.
Maria: G-Good m-morning, Lakewood. I'm Maria Pappas.
Mr. Haney walks past Molly and Slink watching Maria on TV.
Maria (on TV): Today I'm r-reporting on an important issue: 
Back in the music room.
Maria: Kids and adults s-tuttering. L-ots of famous people have been s-tutterers, L-ewis Carroll, Winston Ch-churchill, M-arilyn Monroe and my next guest.     
She sits down with Mr. Ratburn.    
Maria: Thank you for joining us, Mr. R-atburn.
Mr. Ratburn: A pleasure to be here, Maria.
Maria: So when did you first begin s-tuttering?
Mr. Ratburn: Well, it all began when I was three...
~~~
A while later, Mr. Ratburn finishes the interview.
Mr. Ratburn: And when I won the role of Captain Corcoran in our seventh-grade production of the ‘H.M.S. Pinafore’, I knew I'd arrived.
Maria: There you have it. I'm M-aria Pappas, signing off.
Francine: And we're out.
Mr. Ratburn: Nicely done.    
He shakes Maria’s hand and leaves. The other kids crowd around Maria.
Buster: Great job!
Muffy: That was amazing!
Arthur: Who knew Ratburn stuttered?
Francine: Why didn't you just tell us you stuttered?
Maria: I-I d-d-didn't want to seem d-different from everyone else.
Muffy: I understand. Think how I feel being the only fashionable one at this the school.
Maria: S-o when do we start p-lanning our n-next show? I've got a ton of ideas!
Category:Transcripts
Category:Season 19 transcripts
Category:2016