Exe.exe

My name is John, I was just playing a normal game of Mario Kart 8. Then I heard the doorbell rang. I opened the door and saw nobody there. But there was a box for me. The box said "OPEN ME JOHN" and I just casually took it inside and of course, opened it.
There was nothing inside, nothing except, a perfectly unscratched disc that said "EXE.EXE: the Game" in a blue sharpie and then had a picture of stick-people screaming in fire while covered in blood. I said to myself "This doesn't seem so bad," all innocently "it's just another horror game." So then I shut down my Wii U and started turning on my computer. After it turned on, I put inside the game. That is when it all started.
The cover screen was all just screaming. Then, had a black (pitch dark) background with fire and a bloody titled all covered in blood that said "EXE.EXE." Then, I saw a pentagram with the bloody numbers 666 say "surrender now or perish." The same figures were screaming and when you clicked on here you would hear "HELP Help help." Just echoing in the background. Then, I decided to open the game. I pressed start and it loaded for only 26 seconds. Then I heard "GET OUT OF MY SWAMP." echoing in the background. Then, I saw words and letters appear on the screen that said. "Hello, I am EXE.EXE and I will be your guide on this lovely adventure." A voice followed as I read the words that sounded low and distorted and kind of like the wind. "You are not welcome here, in the real world, but with this game you will finally be accepted." I had no idea what the heck this person was talking about, but I found it interesting. "With this game, you can move by using WASD or the fellow arrow keys." Automatically, after the voice said that, it was like a character got reeled into the game. Someone that oddly looked like me.
"You are in a place called Red Hill Zone, you as a natural gamer might recognize this beautiful area, but now it is all in ashes. Now you must explore and find all of the missing Blue Shards in this game." I was more of a WASD person I started moving with those keys. But when I did, I feel into a hole and then a dark pitch black screen with red bloody letters said "TRY AGAIN." So I used the arrows instead and it worked completely. I started jumping using SPACE and collecting them shards using ENTER. After I finished level one, I went to level two of course. This is when things got weird.
Level two had voices that said, "YOU DON'T remember us." A bright red background was flashing with some white. Then, I saw some stick figure people looking at the screen in fire and screaming. Then all of a sudden this image appeared:
But then, it all faded into black and then, a man with a jackhammer started screaming "RAAAAAAAAAAA" at the screen. I was shocked, then my computer crashed and I screamed. I took the disc out of the computer and threw it out the window. I shut off my computer completely and threw the box outside the same window as well. But even though the computer was shut off I heard a more distorted version of "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAAMPPP." in the background and it had a normal picture of Shrek and then faded into black completely shutting off. I then decided to just go watch some TV so I could calm down and then the same man from that game appeared and ruined my anime saying. "I AM EXE.EXE AND I WILL GET YOU. YOUR NEXT."
Then he threw the ax and slit my throat into two and I fell down. Then I passed out, woke up, and I was in the hospital. It was all just a dream. Then I realized it all wasn't a dream. My throat was all bandaged up and then... there was a drawing right next to me with the same stick figures screaming and then the man on top saying "YOU'RE NEXT."
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Vidya games
Category:File Extensions
Category:Shrek
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
Category:Read by HoodoHoodlum