nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
The Hike

One day we went on a hike, but the trees did not look beautiful at all. Ghosts were everywhere, bugs were too. Thank goodness I had my bug spray on or else I would get bitten by mosquitos everywhere.7 minutes later, my cellphone ringed. It also said "You have a message from Jan." It said "See you in a few minutes." What did I expect? Every minute, a tree would fall down. At 5 minutes, I saw this person. It was my friend Jan...covered in blood? I decided there's maybe something evil, so I just turn back and Jan goes along with me and I say "Why are you covered in blood?" Then, Jan says "Dunno. Maybe a grizzly bear attacked me." Then this giant tree from only 5ft away crashed on us. We almost died. We landed up in a hospital and it took 3 months for us to recover fully. I'm never going to a hike again.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Old Shit
The Hiker and the Cabin

THIS IS A TRUE STORY. ONE DAY, A MAN WAS WALKIN THREW THE WOODS AND HE WAS TIRED. THE SUN WAS SETTING. HE SAW A CABIN AND THOUGHT "MAYBE I SHOULD GO SEA IF THE OWNER WILL LET ME SLEEP THEIR". HE WENT TO THE CABIN AND NOCKED ON THE DOUR. NOBODY ANSWERED. HE WENT INSIDE ANYWAY AND SAW THAT IT WAS EMPTY. HE DECIDED TO SLEEP THEIR UNTIL THE MORNING, AND THAN GO HOME. ON HIS WAY TO THE BEDROOM, HE NOTICED THE HOUSE HAD ALL THESE HORRIFYING, UGLY, SCARY PORTRAITS, WHO'S EYES SEAMED TO FOLLOW HIM AROUND THE HOUSE. HE IGNORED THEM AND WENT 2 SLEEP. WHEN HE AWOKE, HE GOT UP AND STARTED TO GO TO THE DOOR TO LEAVE. HE REALIZED SOMETHING ON HIS WAY THEIR: THE HOUSE HAD NO PORTRAITS, THEY WERE MIRRORS ALL ALONG!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:ALL CAPS
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Shortpasta
Category:TRUE STORY
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
The Hilarious Haunted Super Mario Bros

I have read a lot of Creepypasta in my time, and i had a simalar experience. It is not what you would expect, though. It was when my copy of Super Mario Bros. came in the mail. I played it and noticed that the title said "SUPER LOL BROS." I thought this was some sort of comedy hack, I played on, and the first goomba came, and when i jumped, it jumped onto me and knocked off Mario's head, and a trollface appeared on the goomba. Then a message appeared saying "RESET YOUR NES FOR MORE FUNNY!" Then another message appeared, saying "I AM THE LOL GHOST! IMMA MAKE UR CART POP OUT!" then i laughed at the grammar and saw that my cartridge popped out of my NES, and so, that is why not all ghosts are evil. I know this was short, but i want to reset my NES now and get some more hilariousness. Is that a word?
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Mario
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
The Hindsight of BEN

One day I was walking on the sidewalk passed a park. The park was under reconstruction, but I really wanted to see what they were doing, and there were no workers around. Sooo, I snuck under the yellow tape and started looking around. ALL OF A SUDDEN a hard hat comes outta NOWHERE and yells at me to get lost.
I run back to the sidewalk, but I feel like I'm being watched. I look around and see a statue staring at me. It looked like Link from Legend of Zelda, but it had a really funny lookin face with little teeth and squinty eyes. Then ALL OF A SUDDEN it teleports in front of me and says...
"You shouldn't have done that."
I went home, totally weirded out.
Then another day I totes wanted to find some awesome anime, but the site I went to gave me like 400,000 viruses! Then I turn around and see that fucking statue again! It says...
"You shouldn't have done that."
Then it goes away. I was way weirded out now.
Last week I turned my university homework in late and got half credit. ALL OF A SUDDEN, right in the classroom, the statue appears and says...
"You shouldn't have done that."
And all the other students were all like "..."
So another day I broke up with my boyfriend and then he burned down my house. THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN the statue appears and says...
"You shouldn't have done that."
Well, at least that takes care of my computer viruses...
The other day I was skipping like a doofus and tripped on a rock. The statue pops up and says...
"You shouldn't have done that."
Then goes away! Hello! Scraped knees over here! Need a bandage!
And this morning I stuck a firecracker in my cereal and it blew up and I got grounded, and in my room the statue stands there and says...
"You shouldn't have done that."
AND I'M ALL LIKE "dude! Enough with the fucking hindsight! Maybe you should WARN ME BEFOREHAND what I shouldn't do!" And then then the statue says...
"You shouldn't have done that."
"DONE WHAT?!?" I said, and then the statue says...
"..."
And I'm all like "GODAFOCKAWAY!" And the statue says...
"... okay."
And then he disappears. Yeeeeeeeeey.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Zel-DUUHHH
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
The History of and Downfall of Nickelodeon

In the beginning, some guys got together and created Nickelodeon. They said, "Let there be good television programs." And there were good television programs.
Nickelodeon had become a successful television network, especially in the 1990s, when they aired shows such as All That, Kenan & Kel and some other random, hilarious shit that somehow managed to appeal to older people but still maintain an innocent level of comedy.
But after the '90s were over, Nickelodeon said, "Let there be shit." And there was shit. They began to cancel the shows that weren't absolute shit and replace them with shows that were absolute shit, such as Fred: the Show, Big Time Rush and a series of other horrible programs.
Nickelodeon had also continued SpongeBob, which still runs to this day, but they have used every last idea they had, so now it is even further beyond the levels of shit.
They had also started other channels, such as Nick Junior, a version of Nickelodeon that airs strictly shitty children's programs, NickToons, another channel that is home to somewhat-older cartoons and newer Nickelodeon cartoon-rejects along with very rare showings of anime, and finally, TeenNick, a place for horrible shows of which they originally made, or are, again, Nickelodeon rejects. TeenNick now shows programs that Nickelodeon aired in the '90s late at night, likely as a desperate attempt to get more viewers.
Nickelodeon now airs absolute shit that everybody with an actual brain hates and everyone is now so tired of Nickelodeon's shit, that they somehow find solace in Disney and Cartoon Network, channels that although have also had their downfalls, are still gods compared to Nickelodeon.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:Rants
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
The Hitchhiker

It was a Stygian, cthonic night. Skrumpus McGee was driving down a road to his home. He knew what he was doing, but at the same time, the eldritch mist made him disillusioned to what his direction was in life. As his ancient car mowed down the darkened streets, Skrumpus heard a stuttering from his vehicle. The worst possible sound a man at this hour could hear. His house was still miles away and he was faced with one option. Hitchhiking. To his luck an automobile pulled over to where McGee stood, in a damply lit corner that everyone forgot.
However, this hope fled when McGee opened the door.
Because at the very moment when he pulled the handle of the car,
A skeleton popped out!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
The Hogwarts Ponies

Amycus was standing at the top of a stool, facing the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws. "AS YOU MAY KNOW!" shouted Amycus. "THE CRUCIATUS CURSE IS A TORTURE CURSE." he shouted again. "I WANT YOU TO PRACTICE THE CURSE ON FELLOW CLASSMATES!" he screamed. Everyone whispered, and Applejack went with Rarity, Twi with Pinkie and Fluttershy with RD. "Now!" he screamed. At the same time, Dean was slammed to the ground by Justin Flinch-Fletchely. "CRUCIO!" screamed Applejack, hitting Rarity in the chest, she screamed as she wriggled to escape. "CRUCIO!" screamed Pinkie, instead hitting Amycus. "WHO DID THAT!" screamed Amycus. "M-M-Me" Pinkie whispered. "CRU-" screamed Amycus but the door flew open as Amerios screamed "EXPILLIARMUS" as he disarmed Amycus. "HOW DARE YOU DO THAT AMERIOS!" shouted Amycus. "AVA-" he screamed before he realised he had now wand. "A Killing Curse? Guess that wouldn't do good." he politely said, infuriating the Carrow. "You should respect other people, especially when you are a Mudblood..." Amerios chuckled. Amycus quickly grabbed his wand and shouted "CRUCIO." Not before Amerios managed to shout "Protego!"
The class stood, watching. "Fine. Go, take your filthy students." Amycus cried. "Very well." he said. The class were relieved and Pinkie was bubbly again because of Amerios. "I think...I would make sure the Crucio is not used at all...as I am more powerful then Snape in duels..." Amerios said.
Category:Bad Fanfiction
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:TOTALLY NOT UNFINISHED U GUIZE
Category:Read by HoodoHoodlum
Category:Shortpasta
The Holder of Art

In any city, in any country, go to any art museum or gallery and ask for the one who calls themselves "The Holder of Art". Should the receptionist make a creepy half smile, you will be led into a dark hallway that has suddenly appeared behind you. No one else will notice, so you can do this secretly if you wish. If the receptionist makes any other face, running won't save you. If you are lucky, you have gone to the right one. If not, you need to NEVER go to anything art related again. Burn paintings and statues in your house, or you will die, impaled on a tree and will never be found. Enter the hallway should it appear to you.
Inside, you will see all the famous artists throughout time painting. Should they stop painting at any time, say "The gods will not be pleased when they hear about this." If they just stand there, RUN! Don't go home, don't go to a hotel, sleep where your body drops you. You will know in the morning if you survived.
The receptionist will lead you to a door. This door is the most beautiful thing ever seen. Enter it only when the receptionist says so, regardless of what the artists around you say. Open the door only when the receptionist says so, lest you die a horrible fate of God knows what.
Inside, you will see Leonardo Da Vinci painting the Mona Lisa. He will only respond to one question, "What will it look like?" Any other question will make him turn around and put you in an infinite coma. You will still be alive, and will feel the worst pain imaginable. Upon asking the one question, Da Vinci will go into perfect detail about every piece of art EVER made and what happened to it. When he is done, he will give you a golden paintbrush.
This paintbrush is object 49 of 538. The objects must NEVER be brought together. The gods will be upset, and the mural will never be completed.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Rituwel
Category:Memes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
The Holder of Badassitude

In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house in you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit something which calls itself "The Holder of Badassitude". The moment you say that explosions will randomly occur and a slow-mo shootout will begin, you will be randomly handed a gun and you will start shooting. Your loved one will randomly appear and a stereotypical villain will abduct him/her, at this point you MUST perform a badass vault over the counter and chase him!
As soon as he enters through a door, you must break the door down in a badass fashion and go through a series of slow-mo gun fights, once you reached the stereotypical villain you must kill him with your shear badassitude! Failing in doing so will result you in spontaneously combusting while falling down in slow-mo and shooting random bad guys.
If you succeed in killing him with merely your badassitude, you have exactly 5 seconds to tell your loved one to get back to safety, at wich point he/she will randomly appear back to his/her home, and you must run in a badass fashion for the room will explode, locate the first window and jump through it like a badass.
You will now run down a series of crumbling stairs, as long as you run in a badass fashion you will not fall down in the pit of shaming void of non-badass.
Once you see the stairs end, jump in the most badass way possible, for the stairs themself will explode, due to killing the villain with your mere badassitude you will land on a platform leaving a badass crack on the floor.
Note: do NOT look at any explosions to maintain high level of badassitude!
Once on the platforn you will see the most badass door EVER! You must smash it open with your head in the most badass manner possible! At this point you will see The Holder of Badassitude that will offer you these tasks:
- Destroy the Destroyer of Worlds
- Strangle the Devil with your teeth
- Wrestle God for his respect
Do NOT accept these tasks, but instead say "I'll beat your bitch-ass in arm-wrestling any day!", at this point a badass table table will randomly appear in a badass fashion in the middle of the badass room with two badass chairs opposing each other at each ends of the badass table.
If you are not a true badass, and you will loose you will die the most badass death in all of history, and everybody on earth will know of your badass defeat.
If you are a true badass, and you beat him, after he kneels before you shed a single badass tear of victory, be careful tho, that tear will be so badass that if it hits one of the hot chicks that are grabbing your badass feat, they will instantly die of badassitude shock!.
After you shed your badass tear close your eyes, you will be transported through an explosion of tremendous badassitude outside of the mental institution, you will be given no item as nothing can make you any more badass!
Instead every being in all of creation will instantly know how badass you are!
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Rituwel
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
The Holder of Bitches

In any City, in any Country, find the nearest Strip Club you can get yourself into.
Approach the bar and ask to see "The Holder Of Bitches."
The Bartender will usually laugh sarcastically and flip you off.
Ignore that and follow the next step.
Once inside, you will see a group of women dancing. Carefully approach the woman with blonde hair that shines through the night. Whilst approaching her, notice her facial expression.
If her face is that of anger, run. Run as FAST as you can, and don't stop. Or suffer a fate worse than death.
However, if you approach her and she gives a slight smile, pull out your wallet, and take out ONE $5 bill.
Yes, the exact amount of money is essential.
Or else.. Stuff..
Any how, once you have the bill in your hand, slowly, delicately insert it into the Woman's G-String.
But be sure to pick it up and put it back in if it falls out while she dances.
Or else.
And what ever you do, do NOT stay to watch the dance, doing so will drive you insane.
Many claw at their throats until they bleed out within that very room.
Exit the building casually.
Don't draw any attention to yourself.
Out side of the bulding, in your car, you should find an old, dirty G-String in your glove compartment.
(Oh, yeah. Owning a car is sort of a prerequisite.)
This G-String is object #377 of 538.
You must never let them come together.
EVER.
Also, credit to Joey Reid. You made me shit myself of laughter.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Rituwel
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
The Holder of Booty

In any city, in any country, go to any whorehouse or college campus you can pretend you're old enough to enter. When you reach the stripper pole, ask to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of Booty".
Should a look of pants-cumming pleasure come over the "worker's" face, you shall then be taken to a sex dungeon in the building. It will be in a deep, hidden... oh god yes... erm, sorry... section of the building. All you will hear is the sound of someone pleasuring themselves echo the halls. It is in a language that you will not understand, but your very soul will feel unspeakable arousal.
Should the moaning and fapping stop at any time, STOP and quickly say aloud "I'm not a paying customer, I wish to talk." If you still hear silence, flee. Leave. Do not stop for anything, do not go home, don't stay at an inn (ESPECIALLY not at an inn), just keep moving (But be careful, some really get off to your resistance), and sleep where your body drops. You will know in the morning if your hole is still tight.
If the voice in the hall comes back after you utter those virgin's words continue on. Upon reaching the cell all you will see is a windowless room with a person in the corner, fapping away without kleenex or lubricant, and cradling something. The person will only respond to one question: "What happens when they all come inside?" 
The person will then stare into your eyes and answer your question in horrifying detail. Many go mad in that very cell, some come out of the closet soon after the meeting, and a few end their lives. But most do the worst thing. You will want to as well. Be warned, if you do, your death will be in that room, by that person's cum-stained hands.
You will want to look at the object in the person's hands and drool. This object is 34 of 69. They must never come inside you without protection. Ever.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Rituwel
Category:Shortpasta
The Holder of Caffeine

In any city, in any country, in any continent, in any planet, in any solar system, in any galaxy, in any universe, in any multiverse, go to the nearest starbucks and ask to see The Holder of Caffeine. If the employee gives you a strange look, scream like a maniac and go to another starbucks. If the employee gives you a paperclip and a note, you are at the right starbucks. The note will say "Yesz go 2 da back of inside the building plz if u want to see holdr uf caffne kthxbai" You should go to the bathroom. Go inside of the last stall. Check behind the toilet and you should find a piece of paper. Take it and read it and you will see binary code that says "01010100 01000101 01000001" You will then find a big red button on the side of the toilet. Press it and you and the toilet will descend down under the building. If the building detonates instead, you are at the wrong starbucks. If you chose correctly you will descend and then see a wooden door in front of you. Use the paperclip you were given by the employee to pick the lock. If you are successful in picking the lock, the door will open and you will see a steel door and a numeric keypad. Type down the binary code you saw earlier. If you are successful, the door will open and you will be greeted by the Holder of Caffeine himself. He will offer 2 cups of coffee. Take the cup on the right, if you take the cup on the left, it is laced with x-lax and you will shit and pee coffee for the rest of your life. Drinking the cup on the right will allow you to fully speak with him. He will ask why you have sought him. Respond with "I wish to know the secret of all coffees" He will then give you a cup of Kopi Luwak and say "Have this Cat Shit Coffee". Drinking it will strike you with a vision of people's hearts exploding and people shitting and some guy casually drinking coffee. He will then teleport you outside of the starbucks. You will be holding a hand-sized glass replica of a Coffee Bean. It is object #1337 of 9001. It must never be dropped.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Rituwel
The Holder of Chu

In any cityNo wait, he's in Ruckersville, Virginia, USA.
Go to any mental institutionActually scratch that, he's a manchild and still lives with his parents. Thought it may be a good idea to check an asylum anyway, since he may be there by now.
Bring a jar of pickles, or wear a pickle costume. Just... trust me. It'll help.
Knock on the door. If you're lucky, the Holder himself may answer the door. You'll know by the combined force of the medallion and the stench.
If you're a woman, then you are especially brave for undertaking this task, because he WILL try to make you his girlfriend. Keep your guard up.
Then again, he'll probably try to do the same thing if you're a manhe's bisexualso you should still keep your guard up. This is where the pickle costume comes in.
Either way, though it goes against your every moral and survival instinct, flirt with him. Shamelessly. Flirt with the Holder until he can't resist you. The idea is to get his guard down.
If you can't sweet talk him into handing over his medallion, brute force is fine too.
The yellow medallion is 1 of over 9000. However, your quest is not over.
There is a pink and a black medallion too. Only when you have destroyed all of them can you say that you have completed this task.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
The Holder of EMPHASIS

In ANY city, in ANY country, make your way to any mental institution OR halfway house you can get yourself to. Walk up to the counter and ask the worker POLITELY, “I would like to see the Holder of EMPHASIS!” She will blink slowly and SCREAM AT YOU LOUDLY. If anything else happens, RUN. If you’re LUCKY, you will escape with your life.
You will be led down a very long hallway. At the end you will face a large golden door flanked by a large, flashing neon arrow pointing at the door. Knock EXACTLY three times. Any more or less, and your SOUL will be torn apart ENTIRELY. The door will open and you are allowed to walk down the hallway. You will see HORRIBLE visions dancing across the walls, and staring at them for too long may DRIVE YOU SPIRALING INTO MADNESS.
Eventually, you will face three doors. ONLY one will lead you to the Holder. If you go through the other doors, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. Inside the correct door, a STUPIDLY scary old man will be sitting on a PLATINUM throne. There are even jewels BEDECKING that fucking AWESOME THRONE. As he looks up from the FUCKING RAD computer before him, now is the time you MUST speak.
Yell at him, “WHY THE HELL IS EVERYONE SCREAMING SO MUCH?!” If you haven’t almost SHREDDED YOUR VOCAL CHORDS with your yelling, the Holder will begin to tell you a TERRIFYING story. He will relate to you all of tales of the Seekers who just COULDN’T TAKE THE SCREAMING ANYMORE. The story is so terrifying, it will DRIVE YOU NUTS OR SOMETHING. God DAMN!
If you are still FAIRLY sane after you are finished, you must then point and scream at him, “I’ve had ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT, EVILDOER!” Grab the keyboard of they computer and SMASH it over his head! Then, Ronnie James Dio will RETURN FROM THE GRAVE AND SET EVERYTHING ON FIRE WITH NOTHING BUT A KILLER-SWEET GUITAR LICK. HOLY FLIPPING MOTHER OF GOD. All that will be left is a RIDICULOUSLY PLAIN-LOOKING keyboard key.
The CAPS LOCK key is Object ELEVENTY BAJILLION of 2538. Pressing it will be sure to GET YOUR GODDAMN POINT ACROSS.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit