Francine's Bad Hair Day/Transcript

[At Lakewood Elementary, in Mr. Ratburn's Class]
Everybody: 	[chitchat]
Mr. Ratburn: 	[taps ruler on table] Quiet down! Now as you may have heard - Buster, turn around please. School pictures have just been scheduled.
Muffy: 	What? Now?! I can't have my picture taken in these rags!
Mr. Ratburn: 	For next Thursday afternoon. That should give you plenty of time to change your clothes, Miss Crosswire.
Arthur: 	[Camera zooms to Arthur] There are a few things you have to remember about school pictures. Like, it's not a good idea to drink six cans of soda and then have your picture taken. [Buster's 2nd grade picture, he burps] Or rub your feet across the carpet and sit in a metal chair. [Prunella's hair sticks up] Or wear a flower if you have allergies. [Binky sneezes]
 	[Title card]
 	[3rd Graders are huddled together. They're playing the 4th graders in kickball.]
Arthur: 	One more out and we've got them!
Buster: 	We'll never do it. They're 4th graders.
4th Graders: 	[Telling them to hurry up]
Arthur: 	Remember the plan. No matter what, get the ball to Francine.
3rd Graders: 	Break! [Afterwards, they run onto the field and Arthur is the pitcher]
Other 3rd Graders: 	C'mon Arthur! You can do it!
Arthur: 	[Rolls the ball. Billy hits it, it heads right towards Arthur]
Arthur: 	Whoaaaahhh! [The ball hits Arthur in the face]
Francine: 	Watch it!
Francine: 	[The ball is heading right towards her]
Buster: 	I got it! I got it! [Buster comes running in. The two collide, causing them to miss the catch]
3rd Graders: 	Awwwwwwwww...
Francine: 	[Picks up the ball, runs to home plate and tags Billy out just in time]
Buster: 	You’re out!
3rd Graders: 	(cheer and hug Francine)
 	[Girl's Bathroom]
Prunella: 	My mother said I could get a new dress for picture day.
Muffy: 	I'm getting new shoes and a dress.
Francine: 	[walks in, her clothes are beat up] We beat the 4th graders! I tagged them and we won! [turns on the sink and washes her hands]
Prunella: 	Well, anyway, we should compare dresses and make sure we're not wearing the same thing.
Muffy: 	[talking to Francine] What are you wearing?
Francine: 	To what?
Muffy, Sue Ellen, Prunella:	[annoyed] School pictures!
Francine: 	Pictures? Who cares?
Prunella: 	Not you obviously.
Muffy: 	I think Francine will have the prettiest picture of all.
Francine: 	[surprised] You do?
Muffy: 	[bragging] Except for mine, of course. [Combs Francine's hair]
Francine: 	[Imagines that she is a prom queen. In reality, she has a knot in her hair.] Ow!
Muffy: 	It would take a lot of work, but you could be a whole new Francine. We could even look like twins. Maybe.
Francine 	[combing hair] Really? Nah.
Muffy: 	Leave it to me.
 	[Westboro Apartments]
Francine: 	[She opens her closet, and sports equipment falls out] I told you I didn't have any dresses.
Muffy: 	[Spots a pink dress] What's that? Back there? Put it on!
Francine: 	I'll look stupid!
Muffy: 	Do you want a nice school picture or not? Trust me.
Francine: 	[She put the dress on, and looks into a mirror]
Muffy: 	See? It's perfect. Once you fix the little rip over here. Just have your mom run a needle over that. And now, for your hair.
Francine: 	[surprised] What's wrong with my hair?
Muffy: 	[annoyed] [grabs a brush] Close your eyes until I tell you to look.
Francine: 	But-
Muffy: 	Do it! [brushes Francine's hair]
Muffy: 	Okay, you can look now.
Francine: 	[Muffy gave her a weird hairstyle] Ahhhhh!
Muffy: 	I don't get it. It always works for me.
Francine: 	Get me out of this!
Muffy: 	Wait, I have an idea. [Gets out her cell phone, calls somebody on speed dial] Hello? Flossie? Muffy.
Flossie: 	[On the phone] Ahhhh Muffy! My favorite little client! Oh this is a treat!
Muffy: 	Can I bring a friend to my appointment? She really needs something special.
Flossie: 	You got it kid.
Muffy: 	Well that's great. Thank you. [hangs up] It's all set. Meet me tomorrow afternoon at the Salon de Beaute.
Francine: 	The what?
 	[Salon de Beaute]
Francine: 	You didn't say we were going to a beauty parlor!
Muffy: 	What'd you think it was? A pet shop?
Francine: 	No way am I going in there.
Muffy: 	I knew you'd chicken out. Luckily, I brought my secret weapon. [Pulls out a horrible looking class photo of Francine from 2nd grade] Remember this? Last year's picture? Is this what you wanna look like?
Francine: 	[bummed out] Okay... okay.... you win.
Muffy and Francine: 	[Walks into the salon]
Flossie: 	Muffy! Oh, how positively brilliant to see you! Everyone, look who's here!
Hair Stylists: 	Muffy!/What a surprise!/Fabulous!
Flossie: 	[talking to Francine] And what have we here?
Francine: 	[nervous] Francine?
Flossie: 	Oh, that's right. Ah, well, we don't promise miracles. Not in your price range anyway. [puts Francine to a chair, takes a picture of her. It comes up on the computer and shows how she would look with different hairstyles] This is our Queen of the Nile look, very popular. No?
Francine: 	[Covers her eyes in embarrassment]
Flossie: 	Well then, let's try for something more Au Courant. [A beehive hairstyle comes up]
Francine: 	Don't you have anything more normal?
Flossie: 	If you insist. Ah, I have just the thing. [A normal hairstyle comes up on the computer]
Francine: 	[sastisfied] I'll take that, I guess. Only not too much hairspray.
Flossie: 	You got it, kid. [talks on a microphone] One prom queen to go, extra curls, hold the sauce.
Flossie: 	humming while washing Francine's hair. Combs it, cuts it, curls it And now my chéri, you will rest and wake up as the girl of your dreams.
Francine: 	[falls asleep]
 	[Francine's Dream]
Announcer: 	Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. Let's hear it for FRANCINE FRENSKY! [Francine walks on a runway] Francine is putting a brand new hairdo. The crowd is loving it.
Francine 	Play ball!
Announcer: 	She prepares herself for the opening pitch, as she takes her place behind the plate. And there's the pitch! [Arthur pitches the kickball]
4th Grade Male Rabbit: 	[Francine tangles him in his hair, and catches the ball] Huh?
Umpire: 	Strike!
Announcer: 	What a dazzling play by Francine!
Announcer: 	It's the bottom of the third inning, Francine runs all the way to the outfield and returns the ball! [Francine runs to the outfield, catches the ball, passes to Arthur who then catches it] To Arthur who makes the catch!
Umpire: 	You're out!
Announcer: 	It's the final play of the game! Francine races to beat the ball, she slides! [Francine slides to home plate just in time with her hair in there too]
Umpire: 	SAFE!
Announcer: 	HER NEW HAIRDO TOUCHES THE PLATE JUST IN TIME! WHAT A GAME! [Everyone carries Francine out on her hair in celebration]
 	[The Results]
Muffy 	Francine? Francine!
Francine 	(wakes up and looks at her new hair-do)
Muffy 	So, what do you think?
Francine 	(in disappointment): I knew it.
Flossy 	Oh, if only she had hair like yours.
Muffy 	I think it's great! Wait till you see how it looks with your new dress!
Francine 	[Pays Flossy with her money] There goes my new soccer ball.
Muffy 	[As they walk out of the beauty salon] Now, there are a few little things that you should know about hair care.
Francine 	[Gets her bike]
Muffy 	What are you doing?
Francine 	Riding my bike!
Muffy 	I don't think so. Bicycles and curls do NOT mix!
 	Back at [Westboro Apartments]
Muffy 	[Finishes fixing the rip in Francine's dress] See, I told you it was worth it!
Francine 	[Satisfied with her new look]
Muffy 	Now remember what I said; no swimming, no riding in convertibles, and wear protective headgear in the rain.
Francine's Mom (offscreen) 	Honey, Arthur called to remind you about the kickball game tomorrow. Don't forget to bring the ball!
Muffy 	Oh, I forgot. Absolutely no kickball!
Francine 	No way! [Falls down on her bed]
Muffy 	And no lying down!
Francine 	I can't do this! There's too many rules!
Muffy 	Remember my secret weapon? Well, then?
Francine 	[Gets up] Okay.
 	At School
Arthur and Buster 	[Kick and chase a ball of paper down the hallway until they see Muffy and Francine.]
Muffy 	[Crushes the paper ball with her foot.]
Arthur and Buster 	Aaaaaah!
Francine 	Do you like it?
Buster 	No.
Francine 	I wasn’t asking you!
Arthur 	Well...it's....
Buster 	[ala Dr. Frankenstein] Aliiive! (makes a zombie-like face and pose)
Arthur and Buster 	[laugh hysterically and fell on the ground]
Muffy 	Just pretend you don't see them. Boys ruin everything!
 	In the Cafeteria
Francine 	[About to eat her sandwich until a hairpiece flies off and darts across the cafeteria]
Buster 	(ducks) Incoming! [Then he walks back to his table with the Brain] Was it an accident or does she look like that on purpose?
Brain 	Probably a combination of gravitational pull and too much stress on the hair follicles.
Brain and Buster 	(laugh)
Francine 	(enraged): You are gonna get it! [grabs a bottle of ketchup]
Muffy 	Francine, calm down!
Francine and Muffy 	[Francine accidentally squirts ketchup on her dress] Aaaah!
Muffy 	Now look what you did!
 	Back in the Girls Room
Muffy 	[wipes off Francine's ketchup stain and then puts a green bow tie on the remaining part of the stain] There, you can't see a thing.
Francine 	Yes you can! It's all over....
Muffy 	Ahem! Now, if you just stay still until picture time, everything will be fine.
 	The Big Game
Arthur 	WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T PLAY?!?!?!?!
Muffy 	You heard her! She can't mess up her hair!
Arthur 	Why?!
Francine 	I have to keep it nice for school pictures.
Arthur 	But Francine, it's the fourth graders! They'll kill us if you don't play!
Muffy 	Good! (notices that Francine is slouching) NO SLOUCHING! Remember, good posture is the key to true beauty.
Buster 	She's lost her mind! That's all!
Arthur 	And we're gonna lose the game!
Buster 	Ah, who needs Francine? We're just as good! [The ball flies past the two.] Hey! The two collide again, causing them to miss the catch]
Third Graders 	[Jeer]
4th Grade Bunny 	[Runs, then stops] Can I help you find the ball?! (in mock) [Continues running]
4th Graders 	[Snicker, then cheer when the 4th Grade Bunny comes runs towards home plate]
Francine 	COME ON YOU GUYS, GET UP!
Muffy 	SIT DOWN! (Muffy and Prunella restrain Francine)
4th Graders 	[Cheer as one of the fourth graders scores a run]
Francine 	It's 1-0!
4th Graders 	[Cheer again as the 4th Grade Bunny scores a run]
Francine 	2-0!
Muffy 	You have to get used to this Francine! If you want to look nice, no more kickball!
Prunella 	It's just a silly game anyway. What's the point of running around in a circle and getting your shoes dirty? [Ball comes towards her] Aaaah!
Francine 	[Jumps off the bench and grabs the ball]
3rd Graders 	[Cheer]
Buster 	(arguing with 4th Grade Bunny) SHE CAUGHT IT, AND YOU'RE OUT!
4th Grade Bunny 	She wasn't even playing!
One of the 4th Graders 	Did you know that there's a poodle on your head?
Francine 	(at bat): Yeah, and it does tricks too! Watch! [Kicks the ball hard and slides into home base all dirty] SAFE!
3rd Graders 	[Cheer in celebration as they win the game]
 	Picture Day
Muffy 	[Blow dries her hair] HOW COULD YOU?!?!
Francine 	I'm sick of being perfect! Besides, I like the way I used to look.
Photographer 	NEXT!
Buster 	[walks up to the stool and sits down] Remember me? I'm the one who burped! [picture develops with Buster having his eyes closed and smiling]
Photographer 	NEXT!
Arthur 	[walks up to the stool, sits down and smiles, but the picture develops as Arthur being shocked, since the flash reflected off his glasses]
Muffy 	(holds Francine back) Listen to me! Don't go in there! You'll regret it forever!
Francine 	You're making it worse!
Photographer 	NEXT!
Francine 	[shrugs off of Muffy and proceeds to have her picture taken. It still develops similar to last year's photo.]
Photographer 	NEXT!
Muffy 	(as she sits on the stool): OH, THAT FRANCINE! [Muffy gives an angry look. After the pictures have been taken, she throws her picture away in the trash]
Muffy 	It's like my father says, "You get what you pay for!" And if I were you, I'd burn those and quick!
Francine 	I sorta like them. See this smudge? I got it when I slid into home.
Arthur 	Hey, wanna trade? (he shows her his picture)
Muffy 	Hers didn't come out. Technical difficulties.
Francine 	I'll trade if you promise not to laugh!
Arthur 	I won't if you won't!
Francine 	Okay. [Arthur and Francine trade photos]
Arthur 	I like it. Looks just like you!
Francine 	So does yours.
Muffy 	I give up Francine Frensky! I'm sorry to have to say this, but you'll never be like me!
Arthur 	Kickball?
Francine 	YOU BET! [The two run out of the school and head towards the field]
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