Baby's First Monster Truck

Is your baby being picked on by baby bullies? Has it been crawling at high speeds and crushing smaller objects under its hands? Has it been watching Cars repeatedly because you are too lazy to be a suitable parent? If it has been, or you wish it has been because quite frankly, if it weren’t for the clothes you paid a small fortune to dress it in, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between it and every other baby you’ve ever seen in your lifetime, then it is time to consider buying your baby some heavy machinery.
When we say "heavy machinery", we mean oversized, fuel-sucking, noise spewing, bulky steel vehicles with massive tires.
And when we say this piece of heavy machinery your baby needs before it can truly appreciate life is a bargain, we mean it is a bargainMay not fit traditional definitions. you can call it your own for a mere $45,000Plus $450 shipping and handling, taxes not included. (USD≈ €33,000 £28,500 ¥3,636,000).
If we have captured your attention, good, keep reading. If not, it is because your baby is discontent and causing you stress, in which case you should keep reading for the sake of your health.
We now present to you Baby's First Monster Truck (by ).
===Revving it up===
Baby's First Monster Truck by is built on a fully stainless steel chassis with roll bars and a fiberglass body. They come with four-wheel drive and tires measuring 100cm in diameter.
With the undercarriage 1.5 meters high and weighing in at over 200 kilograms (440 lbs), your tyke will surely be able to flatten just about anything you have lying about the house with their Baby's First Monster Truck by .
The top speed of 50kph (30mph), the Baby's First Monster Truck by can perform all the stunts you would expect of it, including wheelies and obstacle-jumping. Your baby will be the talk of the daycare you drop it off at every morning because you couldn't be bothered to rear your own progeny when it demonstrates what a "Big Wheel" really is.
===Digging into the terrain===
Baby's First Monster Truck by is more than just an instrument made to smash household knickknacks, as that alone would no doubt bore your infant after only a few days. However, you may set your concerns aside, every Baby's First Monster Truck by is outfitted to give your offspring the maximum enjoyment.
If the throbbing engine and squealing tires aren't enough noisy fun, the steering wheel features a grid of six buttons to honk the horn, each producing a unique fun sounds such as an emergency vehicle's siren, circus music, randomized cartoon sound effects, and more.
When you place your order for your new Baby's First Monster Truck by , your child may pick any of our six available colors for their paint job. Choose from pink, green, blue, orange, aquamarine, or purple.
The top roll bar holds four flood light mounts, each containing six LEDs which may change color and flash to your baby's delight. They may be preset to display specific colors, change every time the horn is honked, or automatically switch after short adjustable time intervals.
===Monstrous proportions===
While the Baby's First Monster Truck by already comes packed with so much potential entertainment, you'd think our manufacturing plant was a Black hole drawing in every Chuck E. Cheese and Disneyland within it's gravitational pull, we offer even more accessories to those parents that actually love their children, or at least want to appear they do.
*Nitro Injector
:If your Baby isn't satisfied with the top speed available on the default Baby's First Monster Truck by , give them the Nitro Injector. As long as their pudgy fingers hold down the big red button picturing a baby with a jet powered digestive tract, their wheeled behemoth will receive an extra punch of nitro-methane to the fuel line. The Nitro Injector comes with enough nitro-methane to last for five minutes of sustained use, sporadic use recommended. not responsible for engine burnout due to overuse of the Nitro Injector. Only $4,000!Plus $40 shipping and handling, taxes not included. (Baby's First Monster Truck by not included) 
*Monster Decals
:While every Baby's First Monster Truck by comes in an awesome shade with logos on the sides, and hood, and back, and roof, and wheel wells, and side mirrors, your precious may want more customization options. The Monster Decal booklet contains over 149Exact count: 150 stickers. reusable vinyl stickers babies can apply themselves and later be removed and reapplied properly when they are sleeping. Numerous designs may be chosen from, with classic geometric shapes, animals, and facsimiles of famous cartoon characters. Only $100!Plus $10 shipping and handling, taxes not included. (Baby's First Monster Truck by not included) 
*Terror Grill
:If grinding small trinkets, arthropods, and feet under their heavy vehicle of metatarsal destruction is insufficient for your aspiring sadist, add on the Terror Grill upgrade. This reinforced steel grill is easily attached to the front of the Baby's First Monster Truck by and boasts three rows of four 15cm (6 inch) razor-edged spikes. Not only can the Terror Grill make an instant canine shish-kebob, but it can decimate furniture and thighs as well. Sure to bring a merry giggle out of your little one, and isn't a smiling baby worth 80 stitches? Only $500!Plus $50 shipping and handling, taxes not included. (Baby's First Monster Truck by not included)
===Safety tips===
Not everything that can be driven over should be driven over, remind your baby to avoid things like cactus patches, porcupines, and your railroad spike collection.
Ensure that your baby is strapped in, roll bars also make adequate guillotines when Baby's First Monster Truck by is upside down on top of baby's neck.
Keep your house well ventilated, exhaust fumes may be detrimental to your health, and the well being of your family is sometimes an important issue to .
Keeps pets away from play area, they tend to stain flooring.
Not for children under the age of the second trimester.
==That fine print with which you needn't worry yourself==
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Category:VehiclesCategory:MachinesCategory:Things on wheels