MINION.WMV

Hello. It is me. Brian. I am a big minion fan. I love minions. They make me laugh. Well.. they made me laugh. My love for the innocent yellow creatures died yesterday. I was scrolling through the internet - minding my own business - when I spotted a link, named "Minion" I looked at it for a few minutes, wondering if I should download it or not. Underneath it was a caption, 'LEAK for the Minion movie 2.' Wow. A leak for the second minion movie? I didn't even know there was going to be a sequel. I downloaded it. It downloaded really quickly, very unlike something the length of a movie would do. It started loading. It was taking ages to load so I went to get a drink of milk. I came back.
The movie has loaded.
It started as usual, with the company's name (Illumination Studios) appearing on screen aside 2 minions. The did their thing, you know, with their "DA DA" and stuff, when they started a very competitive violent fight. They started hitting each other until one of them was pushed off screen. A sound of a gunshot played, as a one frame picture appeared on screen. I paused. I rewound it back and stopped at the frame. It was of a very angry looking minion, with a red eye. The worrying thing was that this picture played at the same time as the gunshot sound. I played the movie.
The next part was a cartoon-ish scream, which then opened to 3 minions against a black backdrop. They started sobbing, but not the normal cartoon sobbing, it was realistic heart-wrenching screams, just with a higher pitch. One minion lied on the ground sobbing, another cuddled up with its toy also sobbing, while the third ran off screen, too distraught. All of a sudden, another minion ran in the front of screen. It was the same minion from earlier in the frame. It started the laugh manically, and ignored the 2 minions behind him obviously depressed. It cut to black, but the sound kept on playing.
Several gunshots were firing, as the minion kept on laughing and the other minions sobbing. Well... they weren't sobbing anymore; they were screaming and shrieking in agony. It was as if the minion was murdering the other minions. The gunshot sound stopped playing, as did the laughter. It remained black for a few seconds, when all of a sudden....
BANG!
As the sound effect of a gunshot played, a picture of mangled corpse of a minion showed on screen. It looked DEAD. This was in a street, and the minion was in the middle of the road. Dead trees surrounded this scene. It almost made me puke. They minion looked very hyper-realistic.
BANG!
Another gun sound played, and another picture showed. It was again of a corpse, but this time TWO minions were DEAD. It was in a wet, dark alleyway. and the minions looked as if they were in their regular pose, just mangled and DEAD on the floor in a pile of blood.
BANG!
A last sound effect of a gun played, and yet another picture showed. It was of another dead minion on the ground, but he was not in his regular position, he looked very sad and DEAD. He was also in a pile of very realistic red blood. It looked depressing.
Suddenly, manic laughter played. And the minion with red eyes appeared on screen. Laughing again. I started crying. This was not how I remembered the minions.
PROOF:
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Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:File Extensions
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:TRUE STORY