Dr. Phil's Letter

2 letters has been found in the deep wastelands of my locker about Dr. Phil writing to Dr. Phil about Dr. Phil. A reply has also been reported (we all know that this will totally be fake)
This is your last chance to go back before your curiosity begins to get the best of you. HA! Too late!
= The Letter =
Dear Dr. Phil,
I believe Dr. Phil may be suffering from depression. I have found that he does not pay attention to things as often as he used to; especially when he is writing. There are times when he may talk slowly or move slowly, resulting in him repeating the phrase "Food noes equal the luv" over and over again. Sometimes I can't get another word out of him. There are also times when he isolates himself from others, usually by locking himself in his room and writing letters to himself.
He often cannot make simple choices in life, such as if he should have a burger or fries even though he could of had both, and that fact makes him cry intensely. Even if he gets his food, he does not feel like eating it because he has lost his appetite, which usually causes him to cry even more. There are times where he sits on top of a building, wondering if he should of got a Happy Meal as well, and the thought overwhelms him. he follows the same process everyday except for Saturdays. That's his 'poker' night (it's actually crazy eights, but don't tell him).
Please help Dr. Phil. there may be no more time left to help him. Unless you have a time machine... You do have a time machine, right?
Thus spake Dr. Phil!
Bown-Chicka-Bown-Down
Sincerely,
Doctor Phil.
P.S. I think I have an addiction. I just can't stop writing letters! I know what it's doing to me, but I still do it! Help me!
P.P.S. Doctor Phil also has a bit of a relationship problem. Doctor Phil and Doctor Phil fight frequently in front of their children, who's names are Doctor Phil and Doctor Phil. Their conflicting interests often lead to these fights.
For example:
Dr. Phil: We'll watch what I wanna watch!
Dr. Phil: But-.
Dr. Phil: SHUDDUP!
Please help.
P.P.P.S. The only reason this letter is random is because of exam stress. ZING!
= The Reply =
Dear Dr. Phil,
You may be right. If Dr. Phil is isolating himself from others, it is entirely likely that Doctor Phil is suffering from depression. And I should know. Try talking to him (good idea, self). A relative of his may have died recently, and maybe that relative ate burgers and fries a lot. If he continues, then take him to a psychological doctor. I hear Doctor Phil is a very good one. Whatever happens, assure Doctor Phil that it was not his fault.
Sincerely,
Doctor Phil
P.S. Bown-Chicka-Bown-Down?
P.P.S. FOOD DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE!!!
P.P.P.S. You can get over this letter addiction! You just have to find something to replace it. Have you tried playing Pokemon Diamond/Pearl?
P.P.P.P.S. Doctor Phil's relationship seems very abusive. Doctor Phil should break up with Doctor Phil.
P.P.P.P.P.S. If Doctor Phil is having exam stress, he should speak with his teacher, Dr. Phil.
= Dr. Phil's Letter 2 =
'Dr. Phil's Letter 2' is a movie predicted to come out the summer of 2015 to a theater near you.
=See Also=
*Stalinator
Category:Celebrity
Category:Crazy Incoherent Rambling
Category:Letters
Category:Television in the United States