Two Minutes/Transcript

One evening, Arthur plays Cranky Bee at the computer. His mom calls.
Mrs. Read: Arthur!     
Arthur goes on playing. His mom comes in.     
Mrs. Read: Arthur, you heard me. To bed.
Arthur: Mom! Just one more game.
Mrs. Read: Now. You can stay up later when you're older.
Arthur: (sighs)   Why do grown-ups get to make the rules? Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if kids were in charge.
Arthur imagines walking into the living room where his parents are watching TV in their pajamas. Mrs. Read is holding a teddy bear.
Arthur: Mom, Dad, time for bed.
Mrs. Read: Aw...
Mr. Read: Ple-e-ease. We wanna watch the president.
Mrs. Read: He's gonna make a speech on the economy.
The TV shows the white house, then it shows the president pointing at a graph that goes straight down.
President: (talks incomprehensibly)
Mr.+Mrs. Read: Please, Arthur. Ple-e-ease.     
Arthur turns off the TV.
Arthur: You heard me. Tomorrow is an office day. Now scoot, the both of you.   
The parents leave the room.   
Arthur: See! There's no reason younger people shouldn't be in charge.
D.W. stands in the door with a mop and a bucket.
D.W.: Arthur! If you don't finish your chores, no allowance! Now start mopping!
The fantasy ends. Arthur is now in his bed wearing pajamas.
Arthur: Ugh. Okay, maybe it's a good thing younger people aren't in charge, especially if they happen to be… a Tibble.          
He turns off the light.
~~~
Title Card: The Tibbles pull at a book
~~~
At the kitchen table, D.W. plays car with a box of noodles.
D.W.: Vroom! Vroom! Vroom-vroom-vroom! Beep-beep! Vroom!
Arthur is on the phone.
Arthur: No problem. I'll be right over.        
He hangs up.
D.W.: Where are you going?
Arthur: To watch the Tibbles.      
D.W. looks horrified.
D.W.: (gasp) They couldn't find an alligator wrestler?
~~~
Shortly afterwards, Arthur puts books into his backpack in his room.
Arthur: It'll be fine, I've done this before. Remember how I told them a scary story?
D.W.: That seems like a long time ago. I don't think it'll work anymore.
Arthur: Trust me. That's why Mrs. Tibble called me. I'm an expert Tibble tamer.
~~~ 
A while later in the Tibbles’ kitchen, the Tibbles wrestle for Arthur’s shark book while Arthur picks up other books that have fallen to the floor.
Timmy: Gimme!
Tommy: (growls) Mine!
Timmy: No!
Arthur: Wait, stop!       
The Tibbles freeze for a second, then Tommy throws the book through the air.
Timmy+Tommy: Nyagh!        
Arthur tries to catch it, but it falls into the kitchen sink, which is full of water.
Arthur: My book!
Timmy: That was fun.
Tommy: Yeah. Let's read another one.         
He grabs Arthur’s backpack, while Arthur picks up his soggy book. He turns around and sees the Tibbles both pulling at a book with their teeth.
Timmy+Tommy: (struggle)
Arthur: Stop!     
They freeze.    
Arthur: Time for lunch.
~~~ 
Shortly afterwards, Arthur serves two jelly sandwiches. Tommy starts eating.
Timmy: How come he gets the bigger plate?
Arthur: I could only find one small one that wasn't broken.
Tommy: I should get the bigger plate. I'm older.
Timmy: No, I am.
Tommy: Uh-uh. I asked grandma, remember?
Timmy: Yeah, but I asked her after that.
Tommy: Grandma!          
They run out.
~~~ 
The Tibbles and Arthur talk to Mrs. Tibble, who is doing yardwork.
Mrs. Tibble: That's a wonderful question. How clever of you boys to ask.
Timmy: Tell him I'm older, right?
Tommy: No, you told me, Grandma, I am!
Mrs. Tibble: Well, I know one of you is older.     
She walks to the house. The boys follow.
~~~
Mrs. Tibble and the boys stand in the attic where Mrs. Tibble searches through documents.
Mrs. Tibble: I remember the older one's name started with a T.
Timmy: That's me!
Tommy: No, me!
Mrs. Tibble: Here we are. According to this, Timmy was born at exactly 5:24 pm…
Timmy: That means I'm older. I told you.
Mrs. Tibble: …and Tommy was born at exactly 5:22 pm.
Arthur: That means Tommy is older.
Timmy: You mean… he's my big brother?       
Tommy looks triumphant.
Mrs. Tibble: That's right. Tommy is your big brother by two whole minutes. 
Tommy: There, there, Timmy, it's not a big deal. You'll understand that when you're my age.     
Timmy looks sad.     
Tommy: Now, go take your nap!
Mrs. Tibble: (chuckles)
~~~
Later, Arthur stands in the Reads’ yard and tells D.W. and Kate about his day.
Arthur: After that, Tommy was a big help. He made Timmy be quiet and he acted like a grown-up for the whole rest of the day. I don't think we'll have any more trouble with the Tibbles.
D.W.: He doesn't know them very well, does he?
Kate: (giggles)
~~~
Timmy watches Mary Moo Cow on TV.
Mary Moo Cow (on TV): (sings:)  Let's all count to one, let's all count to one. Ready, set...
Timmy: One!
Mary Moo Cow (on TV): (sings:)  Counting up to one!     
Tommy comes in.
Tommy: That show's for babies.
Mary Moo Cow (on TV): (sings:)  Let's all count to one. Let's all count to one. Ready...     
Tommy changes the channel.
Announcer (on TV): Now back to ‘Super Action Team’.
Tommy: Go away, Timmy. You're too little to watch this.
Timmy: But I want to watch it, too.       
Tommy blocks the screen.
Tommy: You have to wait till you're older.
The boys stand in front of a grandfather clock, which strikes four o’clock.
Tommy: Okay, two minutes are up. You're old enough.
Timmy: Yeah!
Timmy runs back to the TV and turns it on. The end credits are running.
Announcer (on TV): Coming up next, ‘The Secrets of Mars’.
Timmy: It’s over! I missed it!       
Tommy smiles.
~~~
Mrs. Tibble sits in the kitchen doing embroidery. Timmy runs to her.
Timmy: Grandma! Grandma! I'm tired of Tommy being older. When do I get to be the big brother?
Mrs. Tibble: Isn't that cute?
Timmy: What? What's cute?
Mrs. Tibble: Well, it's like this...
The outside of the house is shown.
Timmy: Noooo!          
Birds fly out of the tree.
~~~ 
D.W. lies in bed, when a small rock hits her window. Timmy is outside.
Timmy: D.W.! D.W.! D.W.!       
D.W. comes to the window.
~~~
D.W. and Timmy sit in the kitchen and D.W. pours a glass of milk.
Timmy: Grandma says I'll never be older than Tommy. Never! That's why I'm running away.  (sobs) It's not fair.  (cries)         
D.W. pushes the glass to him.
D.W.: Here. Drink this. You'll feel better.
Timmy: He's always going to be the boss of me.    
He drinks the milk.
D.W.: No, he is not.    
She bangs her hand on the table.
Timmy: (coughs)
D.W.: Timmy, Listen to me! Just because someone is older, that doesn't make them the boss of you!
Timmy: Tommy doesn't know that. That's why I'm coming to live with you.     
He puts his backpack on the table.
D.W.: No!!   I mean, don't worry. You don't have to move. I can solve all your older brother problems.
Timmy: You can?
D.W.: No problem. 5 dollars.     
She holds out her hand. Timmy searches his pockets.
Timmy: I don't have 5 dollars. I've only got... a nickel.
D.W.: (sighs) Fair enough.
~~~ 
Shortly afterwards, D.W. and Timmy sit in D.W.’s room. D.W. puts the nickel into a toy cash register. She is wearing her normal clothes, instead of pajamas.
D.W.: You just have to learn how to make older brothers do what you want.
Timmy: But how?
D.W.: Listen and learn, my friend. Listen and learn.
~~~ 
The next morning, Mrs. Tibbles stands in the kitchen.
Mrs. Tibble: Breakfast time, boys.
Timmy+Tommy: (Yay! Woo-hoo. I'm hungry.)
They sit down at the table. Timmy grabs the cereal box.
Tommy: Now, Timmy, give that back or I'll give you a time out.
Timmy: But, Tommy, this is for little kids. You don't want to eat baby food, do you?
Tommy: No.
Timmy: This is for grown-ups: Grandma's Prunes 'N' Millet Husks.      
He puts some in Tommy’s bowl. Tommy looks less than pleased while Timmy smiles.
~~~ 
After breakfast, the Tibbles walk to the door. Tommy is holding his stomach.
Timmy: Let's ride bikes.
Tommy: (moans)
~~~
The Tibbles sit on their bikes in front of the house.
Timmy: I'll race ya!      
He rides off. Tommy tries to follow and falls.
Tommy: Woah! Oof!
Timmy: I knew you were too big for training wheels, so I took them off.     
Tommy notices that this is true. He looks angry.
~~~
The preschoolers queue at the 1 meter springboard at the pool. It is Timmy’s turn.
Timmy: This one isn't for you. You have to use the one for big boys.   
He points to a teenager who jumps off the 3 meter board.
Tommy: I don't feel so good.
~~~ 
Back at home, Timmy phones D.W. He is still wearing swimming trunks.
Timmy: It's working. Tommy isn't talking about being older any more.
D.W.: That means that you're ready to move on to phase two - Operation Rock the Cradle. Good luck.
~~~
Around noon, Tommy comes out of the kitchen. He is not wearing his neckerchief.
Tommy: Timmy, Grandma says it's lunchtime.
Timmy: Goo-goo.
Tommy: Timmy?
He opens the door and sees Timmy wearing diapers and Tommy’s red neckerchief, but nothing else. He is holding a ball.
Timmy: Ga-ga.
Tommy: (gasp)!
Timmy: Ga-ga.      
Tommy runs to him.
Tommy: What are you doing?
Timmy: Play. Play, play, play.
Tommy: Quit it. People are going to see you.
Timmy: (sobbing)
Lucy and her mother stand at the gate.
Lucy’s mother: You, boy, be nice to your baby brother.
Timmy: (sobbing)
Lucy: That's no baby. That's Tommy.
Tommy: He's not me. He's wearing my ‘kerchief. I'm Tommy, I'm Tommy!
While he yells after Lucy, Timmy sucks his thumb.
Timmy: I need my diapy changed.
Tommy: Grandma!
~~~
Later, D.W. and Kate look at a book outside the Read house. Arthur comes out.
D.W.: Where are you going?
Arthur: Tibbles. It's completely under control. Tommy has gotten so mature that he does all the work. This is going to be the easiest job ever.        
He leaves.
D.W.: Ah, I almost feel sorry for him.
Kate: Googoo.
~~~
Arthur rings the Tibbles’ doorbell. The door opens.
Arthur: Hi, I'm here...    
A soccer ball hits him and knocks him down. The Tibbles run past him.
Tommy: Whoo! Yeah!
Timmy: Pass it, Tommy!
Timmy+Tommy: Yeah! Woo-hoo! Yay! Woo-hoo! All right!       
They run back in with the ball.
Timmy: Mine, My ball!
The Tibbles play with the ball in the living room.
Timmy: Come on, Timmy.
Timmy+Tommy: Woo-hoo! Yeah! Woo-hoo!
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Mrs. Tibble pours Arthur milk. Arthur looks worried.
Mrs. Tibble: Tommy did the most darling thing today. 
Flashback: Tommy talks to Mrs. Tibble.
Mrs. Tibble (narrator): He asked me to say I made a mistake.
Flashback: Mrs. Tibble looks at the birth certificate while the twins watch.
Mrs. Tibble: Well, bless me, I read it incorrectly. It seems you were both born at the same moment. You're exactly the same age.
Timmy+Tommy: Yeah! Whoo-hoo!     
They hug.
The flashbacks end.
Mrs. Tibble: It's a fib, but if it helps the boys get along, we can wait till they're older to tell them.
Arthur drinks, when the soccer ball hits him again.
Arthur: (splutters)
Mrs. Tibble: Oops. I'm afraid you have your work cut out for you today.    
Tommy retrieves the ball.
Tommy: I got it, I got it!  I don't know how you do it. Being an older brother is awful. Yay! Woo-hoo! All right.    
He runs out while Arthur wipes his face.
Mrs. Tibble: Well, have fun.        
She winks at Arthur and goes outside wearing her garden hat.
Arthur: (screams)      
Outside, birds fly out of the tree again.
D.W. and Kate hear the scream.
D.W.: Sounds like Tommy learned his lesson. I like happy endings, don't you, Kate?
Kate: (giggles)
Category:Transcripts
Category:Season 18 transcripts