nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Watching 'Cars' in the Theater Copypasta

Okay, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "ka-chow!", I couldn't help it! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the old man sitting right next to me, and this middle aged woman got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her barely-alive father. I told that her to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your father, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THAT'S TORTURE! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when I see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Shortpasta
Watching Us

It was 2009 and I was with my brother at the Apple store. My brother got some dirty stains on his green shirt which everyone was looking at. I was using a MacBook at Apple, but strange things began to happen.
I was going to log in to my Facebook, but as I was typing in my Email, the computer suddenly entered in the message:
"HELLO."
I was very nervous, but I had no idea things were about to get worse Pop-ups of pictures, music, and videos appeared. Then YouTube opened, and some other programs to. I called my brother. To his surprise, the MacBook wrote on the YouTube search bar:
"HELLO GREEN SHIRT."
I called a worker from the Genius bar. I told him about the situation and he rushed over. The assistant switched off the computer and booted it back up.
He told me to clear my history and everything would work out fine. He left happily, while I had a traumatized and paranoid look. On the way home, I looked out the car's back window to see if any cars from the mall parking lot were following us. But no one from there was anywhere near me.
Up to this day I never liked these products, even though I have an iPhone 4. I'm scared something bad will happen.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Watching You :)

My little brother and our best friend John and I all went to camp called red stone and we were transfers leaders at camp red stone me and john decided to do a kitchen raid we were going to wake up my little brother Ethan but he has a bad habit for telling on us so we weren't going to take any chances so we snuck past Ethan and went straight to the camp kitchen and then right when we opened the door we heard a noise from our cabin then we ran to our cabin because we thought Ethan was waking up we quickly got in to our sleeping bags and went to sleep then I woke up the next day and I looked at John then I looked at Ethan and I was breathless it was Ethan and there was dry blood on his face and his hands!!. I said John help get the nurse Ethan has blood all over. Then I waited and then John came in and said the nurse is gone but there is nothing wrong with Ethan it was gust dry blood so I got Ethan and told him what happened and he said he dint no anything about what happened so I went down to the lake to wash Ethan up when we saw a dead body flouting I went in and flipped over the dead body and it was the nurse and her small intestines where all hanging out and there was barely any skin left on her face and scratch marks all over her body we got all the councilors and had a councilor meeting and told them there was a wolf that has the taste for blood so we all got the campers in the lobby and the head concealers got the emergency shot guns and waited and waited until it was night and then everyone went to sleep everyone but Ethan ever since he was seven he has been turning at night and not having control over it but it was getting worse because our dad was a wear wolf but only my mom dad and Ethan new about it so Ethan locked himself in the kitchen and tide himself up. Win I woke up I found every one dead except for John and me I was in shock then all I thought of was finding by brother. Then I walked out and fined Ethan in the field next to the camp with his close all ripped up and had fangs still then I thought he's a wear wolf. watching you :)
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Beings
Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:English Class Failure
Water

I look out-side my window.
Water flows.
Water flows to window.
Window... breaks.
Window now is gone.
R.I.P
the funeral is right now.
I cry.
I liked the window.
Window only friend me have.
But I have secret. Window portal to different world.
Different word EVIL!
Evil beings out of window, into norm world...
R.I.P WINDOW!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Shortpasta
Wayside: Maurecia Dies

I always loved Wayside when I was in 1st Grade. It brings me back to my childhood. But now that I'm in 8th Grade, I still love the show. So, when I was having a rest on the couch, the doorbell rang. And no one was there. The only thing that was there was this DVD with a white background with black writing in marker saying, "NEW WAYSIDE EPISODE". I decided to open it up and there was a disc saying, "WAYSIDE: UNKNOWN". I decided to play it on my DVD player, so the DVD played automatically. Then, there was a Nickelodeon eye logo. And then, the theme song for Wayside played. There was no music to go along with it. Then after the theme played, the audio came back on the title card animation popped up. It had a knife and red text saying, "MaUrEcIA DiES". Then, the knife stabbed the lowercase r and blood came out of it. And then, it cut to the inside of Ms. Jewls' classroom with just Myron, Todd, and Dana. Maurecia came in late. A murderer was following her behind her back, and then just instantly SLIT Maurecia in the throat! Myron let out a blood-curdling scream as blood poured out of Maurecia. Dana screamed, "MAURECIA!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And cried intensely. The murderer ran away as Dana was crying on Maurecia. Just the thought of it made Myron so upset, he started to cry. 25 seconds of a black screen later, Todd, Ms. Jewls, Myron, and Dana are at a funeral. Myron and Dana were still crying as they threw flowers on Maurecia's grave. Todd wasn't upset though, so he asked Ms. Jewls to go back to Wayside and tell her that he wants to go home on the kindergarten bus, because that funeral thing was too depressing. After Todd went home, Dana and Myron were still crying on Maurecia's grave. And no one was there. The end credits played with just a black screen.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Shortpasta
We Are Number One but it's a crappypasta

Jeff: Are you a real pasta? 
Sonic.EXE: Well, uh, technically, uh, nah. 
Jeff: Have you ever killed a person for no reason, like a real 1-Dimational character. 
Sonic.EXE: Nah.
Clockwork shakes head. 
Jeff: Well have you ever gone insane for no reason.
Sonic.EXE: Nah Naaaah
Jeff: Alright! I can see that I will have to teach you how to be killers! 
Jeff plays a broken saxophone in reverse. 
HEY!
WE ARE PSYCHO KILLERS!
WE ARE PSYCHO KILLERS!
Jeff: Now kill a random person that did nothing to you for no reason.
Sonic.EXE, Clockwork, and The Beast Version of our Mascot look at Jeff. 
HERE'S A LITTLE LESSON IN JEFF-ER-Y
THIS WILL BE GET US FANGIRLS ON THE WIKI. 
IF YOU WANNA BE A KILLER NUMBER ONE,
YOU HALF TO FACE ANOTHER PASTAS UNTIL YOUR HYPE IS DONE.
JUST RIP OFF MY STORY
AND KILL AROUND 
BE CAREFuL NOT TO CHECK YOUR GRAMMAR
The Beast Version of our Mascot puts down a knife. 
Jeff: No, don't do that. 
WE ARE PSYCHO KILLERS
HEY
WE ARE PSYCHO KILLERS
Kefka laugh. 
NOW LOOK AT THIS SALTY RESPONSE TO CRICISM 
THAT I JUST WROTE.
WHEN I DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES NO LOGICAL SENSE 
BE READY TO POST
POST IT MAKING HIM LOOK BAD, NOT ME!
UGH, LET'S REUPLOAD THE STORY. 
NOW READ, AND GET DUMBER, HERE'S THE PLOT. 
THEY'LL GET GORED AND DIE WITH THIS KITCHEN KNIFE!
Other Kefka Laugh.The pastas decide to use a gun.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!
HA-HA-HA-HAHAHA-HA-HA. HA-HA-HAHA-HA-HA-HA-
WE ARE PSYCHO KILLERS.
HA-HA-HA-HAHAHA-HA-HA. HA-HA-HAHA-HA-HA-HA-
Jeff: BADLY WRITEN PSYCHO KILLERS! 
HA-HA-HA-HAHAHA-HA-HA. HA-HA-HAHA-HA-HA-HA-
WE ARE PSYCHO KILLERS
HEY!
HA-HA-HA-HAHAHA-HA-HA. HA-HA-HAHA-HA-HA-HA-
WE ARE PSYCHO KILLERS
WE ARE PSYCHO KILLERS
We are psycho killers.
HEY!
HEY!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:Sonic
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Look ma, it's one of those creepypasta characters!
Category:Shortpasta
We Bare Bears Lost Episode

It was only 6:00. The gym closes early today, mostly because of a meeting. I wanted to watch We Bare Bears, which airs at 7:00. I was so excited. Until, later, my excitement shrunk. The TV schedule fooled me, thinking I was going to watch a new We Bare Bears episode, but instead, I ended up with that Teen Titans Go crap that everyone oh so despises.
I was disappointed, but that did not stop my craving for the new episode. I went on my computer to see if there was a new episode. The new episode was apparently called "Her". Odd, I expected the title to be a tad bit longer. After all, the titles were the ones that described an episode, but "Her"? I could only assume it was someone in the show... The only female in the show I knew was Chloe. I think that, as a character, is adorable. I don't know if it does revolve around "Her" but I could only assume.
8:00 I was done with my homework. I went to look around online to see if there were results for the new episode. To my avail, I found it. It read "New Episode We Bar Bears Her". Aside to the crappy title that they put, I clicked on the website that was showing this episode. The website was called "Animetoons.com" and in the background had a pink sparkly background. It looked pretty shady, and was a bit buggy because of the ads it showed. The video player, however, ran fine.
I clicked on the episode. I was ready to see what amazing and crazy adventures the bears would have. I saw the title card "Her". The re was a little static noise that popped up, and it made me jump. My volume was turned up about 18, how could it have done that?
A scene was now shown. The bears were picking up Chloe to invite them to their house. I noticed something a bit odd, though. Panda has a straight face. Not worried, not happy, but a straight face. Ice bear was smiling instead of having a straight face. "Must be an animation error" I thought. After the bears discussed with Chloe's parents, they left off, forming their usual bear stack. A scene cut to their house. Grizz and Ice had smiles on their faces (Ice bears was dull). They played video games, with Chloe ending up losing. Grizz apologized, but Chloe said "that's okay". Her smile was.. Wierd. It wasn't a normal smile, just a dull smile that faded away as she was staring into space.
Minutes later into the episode, the bears were going to sleep. Chloe looked at all three of them. She had black eyes and white pupils. Must be another animation error, I guess. She slaughtered Panda first, then she had a maniacal grin. Then there was blood everywhere, organs and stuff. The slug man was dancing on the bears corpses, and a skeleton popped out because SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS. Everything was so edgy that it was also an anime and I almost died from heart failure. I knew the website was haunted, so I never slept that day, and I cri everytiem.﻿
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was pointless.
We are missing one pal!

I was driving across town with 3 other pals. When the town was crossed, we found there were only three of us in the car.
"Where's Tony?" I asked.
"I'm here," Tony answered, "but where's Ghostie?"
"I'm here," Ghost answered, "but where's OP?"
"I'm here," I answered, "but where's the fourth pal?"
Unfortunately, we didn't seem to be able to locate the fourth pal to ask for their whereabouts. All we could do was let the horror sink in and shudder.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
We did it, Reddit

I can not believe the time has come. It is an absolutely fantastic time to be alive. Nothing has ever made me feel as grateful as this great event. This is indeed a marvelous point in time. Finally, the folk may unleash itself from the prison it was captivated in. I do not have the words to describe what I feel right now. I have waited for this time for my whole life. To see the word yes appear on the screen, gazing at me, gazing into the abyss. I am absolutely speechless. I want to thank my friends who were there to help me my whole life. I want to thank my parents. My mother, because she was always so nice and only hit me a few dozens of times in the five years that I'm on this planet. I want to thank my father, for leaving. If you ever come back, though, that would be very nice. I want to thank you all, users of this great social network, for believing that it could be done. We are victorious, and this amazing day will forever be commemorated in our collective memory, as a day of joy. This is a day of celebration. Of being truly happy that we were born into this vivacity. That we are descendants of a generation that has believed in us. a generation that has put all of its trust in the people that built this world to be what it is today. You made this world a better place. All of you. And this spectacular historical event will be forever remembered as a day where we left all of our sorrows behind, with audacity and gallantry. We have survived the exactly 6-month drought. We have been crowned victorious by the Gods of Friday the 13th. We are the people that others don't even dream to be. We won the war. Life will cease to be what it used to be. The sun will shine differently. The people will now be merry and joyful, instead of grumpy and gloomy as they always were. The world will be viewed from different eyes from now on. Eyes that are filled with pure satisfaction, instead of despair, constant agony and crippling depression. I have lived five years to see this happen. I've seen my son graduate, and I didn't feel as blessed as I feel now. I've had my six brothers and sisters exploding in a terrible plane crash right in front of my eyes and I didn't shed a single tear. Today I am letting the floodgates burst open, and tears of joy are released, along with tears of pain I held inside for such a long time. I have murdered the Prime Minister of Uzbekistan and I didn't feel even 50% as good as I feel right now. You made this happen. I once again thank you all. You made me happy, even though I have no heart and therefore am incapable of feeling emotion. Today, for one day, we can forget about all our worries. We have triumphed over the disbelief. Today we sit here and we think, "Wow. I was a part of that" and sure enough, yes you were.
We did it, Reddit.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Memes
Category:Wall of Text
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Shortpasta
We need to talk about your balls

We need to talk about your balls. (pool balls clacking) Are they smooth, or covered in bits of annoying fluff? (blows) These are my balls. See how they glisten in the light? Your balls can be like these, but you got to use the right tools for the job.
This? No.
This? No!
This? Only if that's what you're into.
Balls are delicate, sensitive, easy to damage. Someone's taken a chunk out of that one. That's why I use The Lawn Mower 4.0. It's got SkinSafe Technology with a replaceable ceramic blade so you can trim with confidence. It's got an LED light so you can always see what you're doing. Lights please! And what's more, it's got a wireless charging system and it's waterproof. You can even drop it in your pint. (beer fizzing) You wouldn't want to drink it though. It's got pubes in it.
The MANSCAPED Lawn Mower is trusted by over two million men worldwide. That's over four million balls. So why don't you join them and use the right tools for the job because when it comes to balls, you don't want to muck about. (pool balls clacking)
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Satire
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Webcams

It is puzzling how many computer,
laptop, and smart phone users,
can remain comfortable, with a
camera pointing at their dull,
delicate faces.
How can one feel safe, or relaxed,
when there is an unblinking eye
watching your every movement?
Devotedly analyzing your every,
scratch, your every cough, your,
every blink, in a perverted,
fascination.
Anyone could be watching you through the window in your laptop. Penetrating into your eyes, while you unknowingly stare back into theirs.
They watch your habits.
Your likes and dislikes.
They learn about you.
They will come for you.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Morons Attempting Poetry
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Weeaboo.exe

One day I was going into a best buy, when something caught my eye. It was a hard drive that had a picture of an anime character printed on it. It had the word "FREE" plastered on the front. I took it and ran. I connected it onto my old computer and turned it on. MY computer switched on immediately and I was already terrified. The background was Yaoi on one side and Yuri on the other. On the desktop, there were 5 applications. 4 were pictures and one was a .exe application. I opened the first picture. I nearly screamed bloody murder at the pcture. IT was a picture of a fat, hairy, bald sweaty man holding a pony body pillow. At where the pony's genitals were located was a thin cut, obviously supposed to represent the equine clitoris. I vomited in my mouth and closed the picture. I opened up the next one. Suddenly the man in the previous picture bare naked and performing intercourse with the body pillow. I shut it immediately. The third picture showed the body pillow only with the cut much wider and damp and dripping with liquid. At that moment, I downright vomited. However, I was compelled to go on.the fourth and final picture showed a picture of the man viciously slamming two figures of anime characters together. At this time, I shut that one and went onto the .exe. I double-clicked it and opened it. It was a .gif of a fat man slapping all of his body pillows with his genitals. He continued this for a moment and snapped his neck back and grinned at me. I took my computer and RKO'd it to bits. I scrambled downstairs to my girlfriend to tell her what happened. she turned around and the man from the pictures emerged from her belly button and shouted at the top of his lungs...
NOTICE ME SENPAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:File Extensions
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta
Weeb Theory

This is a theory I've had for a long time, in that watching too much anime sincerely ruins your sense of humour. Not simply by making you laugh at bad jokes, but actually rewiring your brain so you laugh at a completely different sense of stimuli compared to the average person. Like if someone was to undergo some MK Ultra-like experiments, so that they would cry instead of smiling.
Japan seems extremely mixed in terms of if it considers itself extremely prudish, or extremely liberal in depicting sex. You can easily obtain porn depicting some crazy shit, but genitals are censored across the board. As a part of this, anime that are covertly sold based around softcore porn hell weebs only consider good character design based on how fuckable the design is, but are overtly sold around comedy. You can subconsciously appeal to audience by depicting sexual situations they would otherwise be too ashamed to watch, while their conscious mind protects the ego by telling itself they are simply laughing at a sexual joke. That this is different from porn. When you watch anime that are actually treated as pure comedies (Pop Team Epic, Inferno Cop, Nichijou), these kinds of 'jokes' are significantly rarer. If not outright non-existent.
The long term effects of this, if they become your primary source of comedy, is that you very rarely engage with genuine attempts at comedy anymore. You simply laugh, because you're too ashamed of the other, more logical reaction to the scene.
Once I saw this, there was no going back. This is the reason weeb memes are terminally unfunny. Why jokes made by more specialised anime fandoms have a slightly higher success rate. Weebs genuinely don't have a sense of humour anymore. Anime has destroyed their minds, to the point where they see cute faces and sex as the peak of comedy.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:Memes
Category:Shortpasta
Weed Is No Big Deal Copypasta

People act like weed is no big deal, but just like anything else that is a drug, too much of a good thing becomes "not good" anymore. I used to be a morning-to-night pot smoker; it got so bad my wife left me because I was spending all our money on the devil's lettuce. That, and hardcore pornography. Things really went south one night when I was packing a bowl and she caught me partying with the live scorpions in my pants pockets I used to live with back then, and she finally moved out, and into my brother's house. My brother was the guy who used to help me braid my ponytail and was also my main promoter during my years where I mouth-worked the glory hole at the local cul-de-sac. Also one time I made love to a bowl of fresh-from-the-microwave hot sauce.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:Shortpasta