Sponge Boob Triangle Dress

It was another day in Bikini Bottom, and SpongeBob was trying to get his license for the 420th time. SpongeBob strolled up to the boating school house and knocked on the door. Ms. Puff answered, "Is this the feds? Because I don't have cocaine on me today." "No Ms. Puff. It's me SpongeBob." "Oh mother fucker," Ms. Puff exclaimed. "Alright, come in come in," she said in a droll voice. "Okay Ms. Puff I know I will pass this time for sure, because I watched my lucky *ahem!* video.. last night." "Yeah whatever, let's just get this over with. Oh SpongeBob, before we go I need to do something can you turn around for a minute?" Suddenly, SpongeBob heard a loud sniffing noise. SpongeBob turned around and asked if she was alright. When he turned around he saw Ms. Puff tie a rubber band around her arm and inject a shit load of heroin in to her blood stream. "Hoo yea let's do this mother fucking shit SpongeTits," Ms. Puff yelled in a drug induced fit. Soon they both headed out to the boat and SpongeBob was going to drive. "Okay SpongeBoob," said Ms. Puff, "What's the first thing you want to do before driving a boat?" "Put on your seat belt," SpongeBob said confidently. "Wrong," yelled Ms. Puff. "You always snort some cocaine." Ms. Puff then pulled out a straw and snorted another line. Her nose began to bleed. "Come on SpongeBitch, let's get started. Back this bitch out right this fuckin second. Let's go Spongy on the open road." "But Ms. Puff I'm not ready for this kind of thing." Ms. Puff then pulled out a gun and aimed it right at Sponge Bob's head. "Drive bitch drive!" Ms. Puff yelled. SpongeBob floored it running over and killing several people.
SpongeBob careened down a street at break neck speed, almost hitting Sandy, who at that moment was soliciting sex from Larry the Lobster. Suddenly, a police cruiser came out of nowhere and began chasing them. "Turn right here," said Ms. Puff. SpongeBob swerved down an alley way with the police boat right on their ass. "What's down here?" asked SpongeBob. "A hideout?" "No clam tits. I need another hit because I'm all out of shit," she said. "Fuck that shit, stoner bitch. I'm getting you to rehab so hold on." SpongeBob floored it. They raced down the alley at top speed; hitting various hobos all the while the cops were right on their tail. They turned onto Main Street and approached an intersection. Ms. Puff was getting very cranky. "These cops are pissing me off," she said. So she turned around, lifted her shirt, and flashed the cops. At the sight of her boil encrusted tits, the passenger shot himself in the face and the driver went blind and smashed into a tarter sauce truck. It blew up in a spectacular explosion and was met with much applause from pedestrians.
"Okay SpongeBitch, now that the cops are off of our ass, I need to get some more drugs." "No Ms. Puff your way high as it is." Ms. Puff then said, "Well, you have two options: I fail you again and shoot your spongy little dick off, or you get mommy some medicine and I let you keep your dick." SpongeBob headed back to the alley way. When they pulled in Ms. Puff made a strange whistling noise, and a man in a trench coat came out of the dark shadows. The man asked, "What do you need?" SpongeBob recognized that voice. It was Mr. Krabs. Sponge Bob shocked asked what Mr. Krabs was doing selling drugs. Mr. Krabs said "Think about it, I get MONEY!" "Go fucking figure," said SpongeBob. Ms. Puff then bought her shit and Mr. Krabs vanished back into the shadows. Ms. Puff did her drugs and told SpongeBob to drive out of Bikini Bottom.
While they were driving out of town Ms. Puffs buzz was starting to die, and she started to doze off. SpongeBob had to take this opportunity to kill the fat bitch. Quietly, he unbuckled her seatbelt, and then opened her door. With that he kicked the holy fuck out of her. She fell out of the boat with such a force she caused part of the road to crumble. She woke up startled and confused looked up and saw SpongeBob drive off and give her the finger. "Oh no you don't, you yellow bitch," Ms. Puff screamed. She then took a huge breath of air and blew it out causing her to fly right back into the boat. "If you ever try that shit on me again, so help me Neptune I will eat and/or shoot you. Now drive for another 20 miles or so than we'll get to my secret hideout."
Back in Bikini Bottom Squidward had his T.V. on and was watching the news. "Wait what's this?" asked Squidward.
Breaking News! A fat man and a sponge have killed two police in a high speed car chase and fled the scene. Here is an aerial picture of the incident from earlier today.
Squidward noticed that it was SpongeBob, and the fat man was actually Ms. Puff. Squidward also noticed in the picture that Ms. Puff had a gun pointed at SpongeBob. Squidward was shocked and upset. How could this have happened, why did she have to take my friend? Squidward began to cry. Squidward wanted to be SpongeBob's friend, but played hard to get. Squidward couldn't just sit around and do nothing he had to go out and save his man. He packed a bag with weapons, got on his pink moped and drove off.
20 miles out of Bikini Bottom, the boat pulled into the parking lot of a very run down bar. "Ms. Puff, where the fuck are we?" SpongeBob asked. "This is the Busty Krab, my very own strip joint," Ms. Puff said. They walked in and saw Ariel the Little Mermaid topless. She was dancing around a pole and Patrick was in a back corner smoking some seaweed. He suddenly OD'd and died (everybody knows that seaweed is stronger than pot). SpongeBob and Ms. Puff headed to her back office where nobody could bother them. "Ms. Puff," said SpongeBob, "I really have to ask: why did you kidnap me?" "Well, you see SpongeBitch; you are the most annoying fucker in Bikini Bottom. You really pissed me off sending me off to the hospital, jail, and other hell holes. So I figured why not kidnap and then kill you?" SpongeBob was not really listening but was staring directly into Aerial's topless body. "You know SpongeBob," said Ms. Puff, "I think I'll go ahead and kill you now." SpongeBob cringed at the thought of Ms. Puff having her way with him. Just then Squidward bust through the door. "No one gets to kill SpongeBob," he yelled. "But how did you find us," yelled Ms. Puff. "This is the most secretive place in the deep blue sea!" Squidward laughed and said, "Well it's a funny story actually. One night SpongeBob was sleeping so I broke into his house stole a few things, and then I planted a tracking device. Not with tentacles of course. I have secret hands!!!" After he said that he just had a big smile on his face. "Well," said Ms. Puff, "I only planned on killing one person tonight, but I guess I can make an exception for you." Ms. Puff pulled out a gun and started opening fire.
Unfortunately for Ms. Puff, Squid boy had eight legs that could propel him faster than she expected. The next thing Ms. Puff knew Squidward was right behind her. She turned around and was going to shoot but she was too slow. Squidward took one of the swords from his bag and hit her over the head with it. "Come on, SpongeBob. We have to get out of here fast; she's only unconscious!" SpongeBob and Squidward jumped on the moped and floored it. Seeing as how it was a moped it only traveled at a top speed of 10 m.p.h. About a mile outside of Bikini Bottom Squidward looked in his rearview mirror only to see Ms. Puff's boat catching up quickly. Squidward now had to think quickly of a way for them to arrive in Bikini Bottom faster. But it was too late. Ms. Puff had caught up to them and was about to open fire. Suddenly Squidward flew far away back home and ate cheese with Spongebob, Patrick and Sandy.
The End
Category:Trollpasta
Category:SpongeBob
Category:Bad Fanfiction
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Excessive Profanity
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:English Class Failure