Whatever Comes Next

"Whatever Comes Next" is the 10th episode of Wiksteria Lane, as well as its second season premiere.
==Summary==
In the second season premiere, Renaboss is hospitalized following the shooting, and Jdg98 is given an ultimatum. Meanwhile, ImmaGleek grows tired of being relegated to the background by her dominating boss, Lynettefan2626, and the latter is shocked beyond belief when a familiar face returns to the lane...
==Plot==
Flashforward - The windows of the local church are blown to bits as clouds of fire come bursting through every single one of them.
People are seen running around inside the church, in a state of unadulterated panic. A man is seen caught on fire. The organ blows up and some people are thrown into the air by the explosion.
Ultimately, the church crumbles to the ground, in a dome of smoke and fire.
Flashback - UFO Editor and Lynettefan2626 are in the process of burying DoctorStrange. They first cover his body, working their way up from his feet. UFO asks, after some moments of silence, what is going to happen to all of Doc's things and his house. Lynette tells him he'll seize the property and discreetly get rid of all of Doc's belongings, particularly whatever piece of incriminating evidence against them he might have kept. UFO tells him Doc planned on allowing Jdg98 to stay on the street for at least another year following his uncle's passing. Lynette tells him he'll make sure that'll happen. "I'll tell that poor young schmuck he can stay on the street for another year. Get his affairs in order. It's not... normal, but it'll make me look good in front of the community." The regular smile makes itself appear again. UFO is creeped out. They finally cover up the face. Some time later, UFO makes his way back to his car, fighting back the tears. Lynette calls out for him. UFO asks what he wants and Lynette tells him he forgot something. "A souvenir." Lynette hands UFO back his bloody letter opener. "Hang on to it." "Why?" "Why do you think? Every now and again you can have a look at it... and feel miserable. I mean... you can't really allow yourself to move on, can you? You killed your best friend. That should have implications. If it were all sunshine and rainbows from now on... boy, that'd really make you a monster, wouldn't it?" UFO looks at him, silently, for a few seconds, and then takes the letter opener from his hands.
In the present time, Renaboss is lying on his hospital bed, taking the lid off his pudding cup, when Lady Junky walks in. She says, "You look good." Rena says, "Wow. I was gonna tell you you look beautiful. But since all I'm getting is a 'good', I'm gonna have to downplay it a bit." Lady smiles and says, "I mean for you who get shot." He says he knows, and then he apologizes for forcing her to witness him punching her fiancé. Lady says, "Is okay, I guess. Lately, I... want to punch too." Rena says "Oh?", and she tells him, "It is complicated... marriage, you know? Soon." "I know...", he says, disappointed, "So y'all are gonna go through with that, huh?" She says, "Yes. I love him. Long time." Rena is silent. She steals his pudding can and says, "I eat the pudding. You punch my fiancé. You do not deserve dessert." Rena says, "I got shot..." She smiles and says, "Knowing you... you must do something to deserve it." She winks at him and leaves the room. He smiles subtly as he watches her go.
In Lynette's office, the latter is going through some papers while his trusting secretary, ImmaGleek, looks on. She asks him where his fiancée is, and he says she went to see Renaboss at the hospital. Imma is surprised that he let her do that. Lynette says, "I don't order my wife around, Imma. That'd be chauvinistic." "Oh, right... it's only acceptable to boss the whore around." Lynette lets himself chuckle at her reply. "What's so funny?" she asks, and he says "You know... Lady has been pissy over the last day. Let me guess, you told her something about what happened between us." Imma explains herself, saying that she didn't want to, but she couldn't hold on to that information and watch them getting started on their wedded bliss anymore. Lynette tells her, "Well, Imma, I am sorry to disappoint you. But this... the affair, the stolen moments... that's all you're gonna get. It'd look like crap if I suddenly left my fiancée and shacked up with the secretary, I am fairly certain I've told you this before. So stop what you're doing." Imma asks if he isn't worried Lady is gonna leave him now, and he says, "Oh, please... I'm not letting that bitch go anywhere. She can try." Imma says, "I... I don't know if I can keep doing this, Lynette..." "Well, Imma... the thing is, I'm not letting you go either." He smiles and then turns to the window, and finds Lady getting out of her car and heading into the house. "Oh, the princess of the house is back..." A cab pulls up on the driveway, across the street. Lady stops to look at it. Lynette's attention is caught. Imma heads towards the window too. A middle-aged man with gray hair comes out of the cab, and Lady is surprised. The ruler and his secretary are shocked. Lynette says, lowly, "You gotta be fucking kidding me..." The man is Villain fan.
Lady rushes towards Villain and throws herself at him, as they engage in a big, happy hug. She says, "Papa! I'm so happy!", and he says, "Oh, my baby..."
Lynettefan makes his way downstairs and greets Villain fan. Lady goes to tell the maid to get the guest room set up, and Villain fan asks for a hug from Lynette, who is reluctant to oblige. Villain convinces him, and the two men hug. Villain then whispers into Lynette's ear, "Family should always hug... regardless of how they feel about each other."
Shortly afterwards, Lynette, Villain and Lady are having coffee in the living room, as Lynette tells the middle-aged man that he's missed him and his work since he went away. Villain says that somehow he doubts this, and Lady tells him, "Papa, be nice." Vf notices the maid, I luv pll, trying to get a hold of his luggage, and he rushes over to her and stops her when he notices her trying to pick up one particularly big bag. Vf tells her she shouldn't be bothered, as it is extremely heavy, he can get it upstairs, with the help of Lynette. Lady asks what it is and Vf tells her she can't know - because it's their wedding gift. Lady is excited and curious. Lynette is stoic.
At the local hospital, Jdg98 is reading the newspaper's article on UFO Editor's death to Renaboss. The article's preview in the front page reads, in bold and capital letters, "Former admin shoots one, kills self." Jdg comments on how UFO didn't mind going out with a bad rep by taking the fall for having stolen Lynette's gun and shot Rena. Jdg asks if Rena's worried if Lynette is gonna sue him for battery over the punch, and his friend says, "I guess we'll just have to wait and see... but I think a guy like him wants to stay on the low as much as possible. Avoid a public scandal." Rena shoos him in time for Dr. Sonya, a physician, to come in and tell Rena that he is recovering nicely, but considering the extremity of his injury he'll still be on that hospital bed for a while. ImmaGleek walks in, and Rena and Jdg are not happy to see her, with the young kid practically ordering her to leave. Imma reminds Rena that when they met, upon his arrival on the lane, they seemed like they'd become good friends. She tells him the fact that she works for Lynette doesn't mean she hates them. "Besides, Mr. Bossy-pants is busy having coffee and pastries with the blushing bride-to-be and her 100-year-old father." She sighs. And then she turns to the handsome doctor next and quickly says "Hey, wanna go out?" Dr. Sonya tells her he's gay. "Shit...", she says. Jdg is more concerned with the 100-year-old father comment. "Wait... so, Villain fan is back?" Imma nods affirmatively, and Rena asks, "Wait, isn't that... one of the former admins of the lane?" Jdg says it is, and Rena says, "How come you never told me that he's Lady's father?" Jdg simply responds, "...You... never asked." Imma then says, "Oh, and, also, Jdg, by the way... you're evicted." Jdg turns to her in shock and says, "What?!". "Yeah... it's been a year. My boss made his best to keep you around in your own place, despite being solely 13. Now... your house is gonna get repo-ed." "But where can I go now?" "Not our problem. You have family left. Figure it out." Jdg tells her he contributes to the wiki a lot with his recaps, and Imma says, "Yeah, yeah... I know, sweetheart. But, still... well, hon, you're expendable." Imma leaves and Jdg gets teary-eyed. Rena tells him he can crash in his guest navbar till he figures stuff out. The young man is thankful.
Later, over at Lynette's office, Imma walks in and tells her boss that the person he's waiting for has arrived. Lynette tells the young secretary to let her in... and to leave. "You can have the rest of the day off." Imma doesn't seem too happy. After she's left, Americana walks into the office. Lynette greets her with a gentle handshake. Amy wastes no time asking him, "Dafuq you want from me?" Lynette smiles.
Later, the two are sitting down, and Lynette is wrapping up his explanation regarding the two nuisances that seem to be teaming up against him. Americana asks him why he's concerned over two dumb kids when he holds all the power. Lynette tells him, "Oh, but you always, always forget about appearances. That's where it all comes down to. It's probably due to the way you were raised, Americana. You're... candid. I'm composed. Sure, I suppose I could... squash them like a bug. But..." "But you'd rather have me do it. And later claim ya had nothing to do with it." Lynette says, "I just... am well aware of the potential repercussions of taking care of my own dirty business. Isn't that what henchmen are for, anyway?" He then hands her a key that reads 4346. She asks him what it's for, and he says, "Well... I want you to take your time. Do not rush. I will pay a very good sum, 50 thousand badges, per month, if you will, to gradually destroy those two sons of bitches' lives. I already evicted one of them. But I'm fairly certain he isn't going anywhere. And in order for you to do that, slowly and patiently, you will have to establish some roots here. Can't keep going back and forth. And as luck would have it, I already have a house guest for the coming two months." Americana takes the key and asks, "If you want 'em gone so bad, how come ya don't get someone more... appropriate, to do it?" "Whatever do you mean?" he asks. "I mean... I'm not a hit-woman." Lynette says, "Oh, I'm very much aware of that. And I would never dare to associate with such people. It's one of the things I'm proud of. I do have some... dignity." "What... dafuq... do you want from me, then?" "I told you... stay. Get to know... everyone. Work your way from there. Make them gone. However you can." Americana says, "Ya got bombs." "I'm sorry, what?" "In the Community Central. From when the Lostpedia wars happ'nd. Ya could just steal the damn bombs and nuke them." Lynette goes silent for two seconds and says, "Dearie, I do not think you understand. I don't want to... bomb anyone. Have anyone killed. I want them gone. For good. As discreetly as possible. I want them shamed so bad they will never wish to return and give me any sort of comeuppance." "Isn't it easier to just kill them?" "I've come to learn killing people, burying bodies... it's too much of a nuisance. And too risky. And less... fun. You claim not to be a hit-woman, Americana, I'm therefore surprised you'd even bring that matter up." Americana says, "But why ask me? There's nothin' discreet about how I roll. About what I do." Lynette says, "What do you do?" Always without a smile, she says, "I... troll." Lynette smiles and says, "That'll do, dear... That'll do."
Renaboss is watching crappy daytime TV in his hospital bedroom when Dr. Sonya walks in, with a rather sad look on his face. Rena asks what is wrong, and Sonya tells him, "I'm... afraid I have some bad news. Your latest results picked up on something odd... we did some... follow-up tests, and..." The physician is reluctant to go on. Rena tells him to just spill it. "I... I wanted to tell you this myself rather than the oncologist..." "Wait, what?", asks a surprised Renaboss. The doctor goes on to say, "I'm afraid you have cancer..."
Villain fan is in his guest room, looking out through the window. Lady enters the room and says she's so glad to have her daddy back. Villain smiles and says he missed his daughter. Lady wonders what made him go away in the first place, seeing as how he never told her. Vf says he can't talk about it, it pains him. Lady says she understands... and then wonders why he came back, so soon. Vf says, "I have some business to take care of... some things to deal with, sweetheart. Never you worry about that. All you should be concerned with is your wedding. And that... fiancé of yours." Lady says, "I know, papa... I do my best to make you proud. I'm gonna help you make him down, papa. You'll see." Villain smiles and heads towards her, saying, "I know, baby..." He kisses his daughter on the forehead and she notices the bag peeking from under the bed and asks what her wedding present is. He says, "Oh, honey, you know all too well that's not a gift. At all." Lady says, "You don't mean...?", and he interrupts her, saying, "Yes. I do. Now... go on and see if your boyfriend needs anything. You have to remember to play the part of the doting fiancée. It all comes down to appearances..." Lady says she knows, and leaves. Once she's gone, Villain takes the large suitcase from under the bed and opens it. From within a pile of clothes, he takes out a small, pre-paid cell phone, and dials a number from a piece of paper he has in his pocket. "Hey... yeah, yeah, I know... I'm gonna... let me talk... don't worry, I'm gonna work you in as soon as I can. I have to... provide some set-up first. Do you have the tickets? Okay. Good. You can come this weekend then. Okay. I... love you too. Bye." He hangs up and throws the cell phone into the suitcase... where a few other pre-paid phones are, all still to be used. He then moves around the clothes to conceal the cell phones and for a brief second we are shown something until he covers it up again: a jar containing a small heart. What looks like a child's heart...
==Trivia==
*The title is an allusion to the second season premiere of the series that inspired it all, Desperate Housewives.
*This is the first episode of the series to feature a castmember under the "special guest star" credit, with the honor belonging to former series regular and main castmember UFO Editor.
*This is also the first episode of the series to feature a guest star, I luv pll, who would go on to recur and then become a series regular.
Category:Season 2 Category:Episodes Category:Season Premieres