MineLovecraft

Here is the true story of a "normal" day in Minecraft. I'll never play this game again!
==The Start of Bob's Nightmare==
I started up Minecraft later in the day (3:00 am) and decided that my 300+ hours' worth of work creating a giant, floating, tortoise-shaped castle in my newest land was already getting boring. So, I knew a new land was needed!! This new one would be... wait for it... I looked up some random articles on Wikipedia to get me ideas. I finally got an idea: Choolu! From a story by H.P. Lovecraft, this monster was so dangerous, even looking at it funny would make you crazy. Seemed like a good land name. I quickly typed in the name into the new map menu.
I was placed underground, of all places. Go figure. I couldn't see, and wacking around in the dark didn't help much. So, I dug up. I kept digging up until I reached a snow area, and was looking at a monstrous face from the hole I just dug. It turned out to be a cow, so I named it Bob.
Bob and I were best friends. It didn't follow me at first, but I grew some wheat and had it follow me all the time. I brought it inside the house I built of sand/dirt blocks, and would blast music with Bob in a big party until my mom started pounding on the ceiling below my room, yelling, "Turn that trash off!!" I guess Bob and I needed to find other fun things to do for bonding.
Next thing we could do was fishing. A fishing rod required sticks and string. I had the sticks, so I left Bob in my house and decided to go out into the world to find some string.
I figured when I got back, I would make an island for Bob and me to hang out safely on without worrying about creepers blowing up the side of our sand/dirt house every night. I figured I would make a bridge to an island for Bob, and it would be our personal little disco island. We could invite our friends over for big parties, and go fishing. I said goodbye to Bob and ventured out into the world for some spider webs...
When I came across the snowy, blocky hills, I found our house was still disguised with snow and in perfect shape.
"Bob, I'm home!" I yelled out loud as I came through the door. I heard my mom pounding on the ceiling below my room.
Bob wasn't there. I looked in our basement, but no Bob. I looked in our bathroom, which was empty except for two dirt tubs of water, but it was empty. I started to panic. I looked at the windows and made sure they weren't broken. I looked in our disco room: behind the chairs, around the big stage, but no partying, mooing Bob.
"Oooooh," I said sadly, as the game made a very similar noise. It made more of a "Moooohhh."
"Wait, that's Bob!" I figured. The sound was coming from inside a wall in the disco room. I dug through a wall, but found more blocks. This was in the hillside.
I kept hearing a "Moo!" so I kept digging. I dug about ten blocks ahead until the sound no longer came from ahead, but below. I had plenty of food, armor, and wheat, so I dug down into the underground world.
I only dug down two blocks until I fell into a cave. Not just any cave, but a very wide, round one lit with torches. I've never seen that in a Minecraft game, so I already knew this was special place like a dungeon. I didn't think I would live though, because I kept falling right past all the torches. I kept falling to a new section of torches below the last one. When I thought my character would hit the ground and die instantly, I hit a big pond of water. I swam up and found that I couldn't see the hole I fell out of. The ceiling was amazingly high. I was in this exploration for the long haul.
I bobbed over to an edge of the pond and found a flat ground of grass. I didn't know why they were growing, because there wasn't sunlight. They covered the whole ground of the area, lit by torches, and at one end was a single pile of blocks that shaped a chair. I walked over. Because of proportions, it was hard to say if the blocks were supposed to be a chair or partly completed sink, but it was just sitting out in the open.
I heard a "Moo!" behind me. I turned around and saw a 2D upside down tree drawn in the wall across the room. I walked over to it. It was made of a light-colored wood.
I started freaking out. What could this upside down 2D tree mean?! It had only one stem and two branches angled 45 degrees away from it. I suddenly felt cold, and started shivering.
Anyway, I heard a "Moo" below me, so I looked below me. I spotted a hole already made beside the tree drawing, so I jumped in. I fell a short distance into a lit hall.
At the end was a figure. I thought I finally found Bob.
"Oh, that caving fiend. Like Dad, like son," I said for some weird reason.
My render distance was tooooo short to see who it was, though.
"Dang it, why did I turn it so far down when I started the game?" I asked myself. Man was I stupid; it didn't make sense. I quickly went the menu and changed the render distance. I saw a player character in plain clothing running in the other direction. I heard a moo also come from that direction.
"GIVE ME BACK BOB!" I shouted, chasing after him. As I heard my mom below my room start ranting, I thought that this guy must be an animal thief. I chased him down a series of 2X1 shafts and we also ran through rooms with small pyramids surrounded by water (toilets?). At the end of one hall, I saw him jump in a purple portal.
Before I chased him, I placed a bed and went to sleep. I was tired, too, so I shut off the game and waited until tomorrow to see what was behind the portal.
That night, Bob came to me in a dream, hovering over my character with red eyes. I was my character, and Bob was wearing a pink tutu around his big black and white waist (it seemed fitting at the time) and was saying in a French accent, "Save me, Steve. Save me." Yeah, my name's Steve.
After loading up the game the next day, I found out I misspelled the world and that I wrote Choolu as "Chooly." Oh well, close enough. I don't think Choolu is how it's spelled in the first place.
I was disappointed when my character woke up in his old house. Then, I saw Bob right in front of me. His big, white eyes stared wistfully at me as though to tell me that the days we spent together were only getting started and that he has an infection in his left-back hoof because he stepped on a rotten piece of wheat which held a spider's nest and a spider bit him which didn't cause much damage but made it itchy so he itched it until a sore opened and then it became infected.
I ran up to the big lug to give him some wheat, and the moment I got close to him, I was suddenly in the tunnel I had been in before. In Bob's place was the same player character I saw before, now facing me. His eyes were missing colors.
He whacked at me and turned around and ran, jumping into the purple portal from earlier. I noticed the portal's edges were made of sponges. Weird.
I jumped in after him, not thinking twice about what I was doing. The world I found was much darker and more disturbing than anything I could have ever imagined or even created.
The land was entirely made of hills of sponges. Sponges. There were no trees, but instead blocks of emerald with wool tops of different colors. Instead of flowers there were mushrooms, and there were towering mushrooms of wood stalks and gold and diamond tops, creating a horrific image of trapping whatever lied below. The nearby ocean was milk.
I started screaming loudly, only faintly hearing a banging noise on the floor of my room through my loud voice. This was Bob's darkest dream. I knew it was. I started to put two and two together. I had named my world "Chooly." Could this be the work of the monster itself? Was the strange character the monster in disguise?
I knew how bad it had gotten when the world started raining light-blue blood. There was no escape for me. No turning off the game and shutting down my computer for eternity. To escape, I had to save Bob.
I started off checking my provisions. Nothing had changed. I still had two spare iron swords and a couple of spare pickaxes. I gulped down my overwhelming fears and went down a nearby hillside.
In the far distance, past the gigantic monster mushrooms of terror, was a large structure. That was a start.
I ran towards it, and once I neared the mushrooms, I veered around them.
In this strange land of grotesqueness, I was not alone. Oh no, there were... things. Things with orange block heads with dark stripes along the heads' length. Probably blood. They had no eyes and mouth but blackness, with gaping mouths and large, thick, uneven teeth. Their heads sat on two blocks of pure white, like white bone. All they had for limbs were two measly, gnarled, brown arms that seemed disproportionate to their whole body. I stayed clear of these at all costs.
I finally reached the building. It was a tall, large castle of wood. I saw a sign near the archway leading to the black depths within.
I walked up to the sign, fearful of what I would find.
The sign stood in the place a real sign might be. It was on the wall of the building. On it was written, "DEATH TO STEVE!!"
I nearly choked. I could've almost cried reading those words.
I walked into the archway, and kept walking. Everything was dark, but I saw a faint glow in the distance. Walking up to it, I found they were glowing pools of thick, sludgy blood. Or lava.
These pools were arranged on both sides of a pathway, the one I was on. This path led up to a faintly lit figure. As I got closer, I saw it was Bob.
"Bob!" I shouted. No response, and he just waited. He was standing up a short row of steps in front of what looked like a chair or half a tub made of wood. I got closer to him and took out some wheat.
When I clicked on him with the wheat, he turned into the player character with blank eyes.
He stared with hyper-realistic Minecraft block eyes into the screen.
"Yes," Said a slow, sinister voice.
"I... am... BOOOOOBBBBBBB," He yelled in such a terrifyingly loud voice that I jumped back in my chair. He head shook wildly as he yelled this into the ceiling.
I stared in shock with my mouth hanging open. The cow I loved and trusted for the last day, a traitor??
"Thank you for this fine wheat you've provided for my family. It's time to wake them up."
Suddenly, I noticed there was a lot more light in the room. I turned around in horror to find it was set abaze! The lava had started burning away the wood building.
"Grrr... No matter," I heard Bob grumble from behind me.
Suddenly, we were both transported to the milk ocean. In the sky I could see a shadowy image of a reflection of the real Minecraft world, like a giant portal, surrounded by clouds.
The creature of a Minecraft human with white eyes stood in front of the ocean, and in his hand he held... wheat...
"Brothers and sisters..." He shouted.
The block ocean of milk started to move, like it was churning.
"The time for awakening had come!!!1" His head twisted around wildly and he started whacking the wheat in his hand like a mad man.
In one fell swoop, he ran to the ocean and threw what I'm guessing is the entire stock of wheat I had given Bob, uh, the monster, our entire time together.
Suddenly, what seemed like thousands of squids flew out of the ocean en mass. They all few into the portal-like reflection above and disappeared in flashes of light. Bob started laughing maniacally so strongly that I shook in fear in the awe-inspiring site.
Once the flight of the squids from the ocean began to slow down, Bob stopped laughing and shaking his head at the heavens. He instead ran straight into the ocean himself. I wanted to stop him; to do anything. I was too scared to take out my sword and hit him.
Suddenly, the milk ocean started churning again. It churned and churned until I had to run up the hill behind me to the now half-standing burning building to escape the waves of killer milk.
I heard a large roar, like the sound of thunder mixed with a dragon's roar. Out of the mass of milk came the most horrible thing you could imagine. I couldn't believe my eyes, and blinked several times to make sure I wasn't dreaming.
A giant dragon figure came out of the ocean, but instead of a head it had a giant squid. It was a dragon-squid hybrid, like a science experiment gone terribly wrong. Its expression couldn't be read as it flew into the portal above.
I needed to get to the real Minecraft world. I turned around to the formerly burning building and saw a portal standing among the ruins of the extinguished fire. I ran to it and jumped in.
I did get transported back to the real world, but it had a sky of red, like flames, and the squids flew around in dizzying arrays of destruction. Behind me, I heard a roar.
Near where I originally started the game, I saw the monster beast, flying in great circles and breathing fire blasts out of its squid mouth. It was shouting something, but I couldn't make out what it was saying except the last part.
"...I AM CHOOLY! HEAR ME ROAR!"
I jumped in my seat upon these words. The squids began to increase their speed. Many were dive-bombing trees, while others were attacking wildlife. One had a bucket of lava which it spread with glee on a patch of ground.
No time to think. I pulled out my sword and ran to the beast. All my life had been leading up to this moment. I may lose my mind, but who knows what would happen to the Minecraft world, or even the real one, if I didn't win this battle.
The beast was more than ready to attack. It came at me with a powerful burst of speed.
"...ARRRGH!" I yelled. I heard someone in another room say, "Lunch is ready!" It must have been my mom. Little did she know that her son was locked in a battle that would change his life forever.
It was a long battle with the hideous, black dragon squid. However, it took one hit to the squid head and it died instantly. It evaporated into thin air, as though it never existed. The squids in the surrounding areas disappeared instantly as well. All that remained was me, the lone hero, standing in the wreckage of the aftermath. With that, I walked off into the golden, realistic sunset alone.
"Oh Steve," I heard behind me in real life.
I turned around in my seat and stared into the white eyes of the character. The white eyes spoke of thousands of years of hatred. I saw in its pixelated hand a diamond pickaxe.
"Ahhh!" I screamed loudly.
My head flew up from my desk. I was dreaming!
"Ha ha," I laughed in relief.
Suddenly, a flurry of black tentacles came out of the computer screen and began choking me.
"Gah gah!" I sputtered out, fighting the ultra-realistic suckers around my throat.
"You should have never named your game, 'Chooly,'" said a deep, threatening voice from the computer or my own head. "Now you will suffer."
My mom and dad burst into the room from behind me. I didn't need to explain the situation, so my dad and mom both picked up baseball bats and started beating the creature. When that didn't work, they started beating the computer instead. With the last spark of life from the computer, the monster evaporated into thin air. I fell to the ground in a great heap, choking for breath.
My parents walked up. "What was that?" They asked sympathetically.
"Choolu or Chooly or something. Whatever it is, I'm never playing Minecraft again," I said through gulps of air.
"Well, that's okay," Said my dad. "Let's go downstairs and have lunch. We can play some ping-pall afterwards."
I nodded in agreement and got on my feet. We all walked out the door, leaving the smoldering wreckage of a computer, faintly shrouded by a black mist, at the base of the computer desk.
Wherever a Minecraft game is played, Chooly may choose to appear. Take my warning: never name a map Chooly, or befriend a cow named Bob in Minecraft. It may mean your life.
==Somewhere Far Away==
"Man, do you think anyone downloaded that mod?" Jerry asked.
"It's not like anyone would figure it out. It's so random, anyway."
Jerry frowned. They were playing Minecraft late at night, after installing the mod they made about a week ago.
They watched the Herobrine character silently throwing wheat into an ocean of milk. However, they swore they saw something odd and black at the corner of the screen.
"What's that?" Asked Tom.
A flurry of tentacles came out of the screen and started to choke them!
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