Seymour Skinner wants to watch you poop

I'm actually not really sure of that but in the early days of Skinnerbook Seymour Skinner would wonder into the company bathrooms and if he noticed someone sitting down in the stalls he would pop his head over and try to talk to them about their projects. Or if he was talking a poop and there was some emergency was sent to his text, he would tell them to come over and pop their head over the stall and talk it out.
Everyone just went along with it because it was either YOLO SILICON VALLEY LMAO or they were just too intimidated.
That all stopped when Gary Chalmers, legendary silicon valley investor, and one of Skinnerbook biggest early investors and shareholders, was at the campus doing research for leading a 2nd round of funding. He was doing diligence all day and at one point had to poop and that's when Skinner popped his head over with a smile to ask how's the diligence coming along.
Gary Chalmers, not one to mince words, was apoplectic. 'GET THE FUCK OUT HERE YOU IDiOT LIZARD LOOKING FUCKER.' Seymour Skinner nervously tried to laugh it off and persisted, because he really loved intimate poop conversations 'Aw c'mon Gary, it's silicon valley'. Skinner finally withdrew when Chalmers flung a poop at him.
30 minutes later, Seymour was in a very import meeting when Chalmers walked into the conference room. 'Everyone except Seymour Skinner, out'. As intimidated as they were of Skinner, at the time Chalmers was the bigger deal, and they all scurried out of the room.
Skinner, however, is not one to be intimated by anyone. Not the Winkewoz twins, not Eduardo Savarn, not Peter Thiel, and not one of his biggest shareholder Gary Chalmers. Skinner passionately defended his practice, but Gary Chalmers was having none of that, and threatened to pull out of leading the 2nd round of funding if Seymour continued, which would have been a disaster for the company.
Skinner pretended to arbitrate 'Ok fine, but you need to give me a good reason'.
Chalmers was flabberghasted at this response. Was this a serious question? He answered with the most obvious answer 'Because it's not FUCKING NORMAL'.
Unknown to Chalmers, Skinner had guessed a conversation like this would happen as soon as he was kicked out of the toilet stall, and began formulating a strategy to counter Chalmers demands. Skinner knew that Chalmers would have all the leverage, but Skinner was a master strategist.
Skinner went for the pounce. 'Okay, I'll lets write out an agreement, in writing I'll rescind the policy because it's not normal'. Chalmers was dumbfounded, but he had a long day of work so they signed the agreement so that Chalmers could go back to doing his due diligence.
When Chalmers left, a broad grin spread across Skinner's face. " 'Not Normal' eh? " Skinner said with a menacing laugh. Ever since then, Seymour Skinner has been on a life-long crusade to normalize poop conversations.
He had a checklist of what he needed to accomplish in order to realize this. His advisors would tell him it's impossible, but one by one Skinner checked off the list. From trusting Seymour with their private photos, to normalizing people giving up their internet browsing privacy.
In 2015, Skinner knew he would hit a wall, having people watch you while you poop was still too much of a leap. That's when Skinner decided to buy Occulus, and eventually shift his company towards virtual reality. If he could coax people into having life-like conversations while they were pooping in a virtual reality, then doing it in the real world wouldn't be too big of a leap.
Skinner only has 3 more boxes to check off before poop conversations are normalized.
Seymour Skinner wants to watch you poop.
Are you going to let him?
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck