This Page Is On Fire

THIS PAGE IS ON FIRE!PLEASE NOTE BEFORE READING: THIS PAGE IS ON FIRE...You may be about to read something which is on fire, be careful and make sure you don't burn yourself because this article is definitely on FIRE!!
THIS PAGE HAS A HIGH FIRE RISK!!BE CAREFUL AND VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK, PUT OUT FLAMES WITH BUCKET (NOT INCLUDED)
YOU ARE GOING TO READ SOMETHING WHICH IS CURRENTLY BURNING! Keep your hands in your lap at all times! No one accepts any responsibility for any injuries you will pick up, due to this page
NO REALLY! You could die!FINE, IF YOU WANT TO DIE, YOU STUPID BASTARD!DAMN YOU!!!You're going to die, how does that feel? You'll probably burn in hell! But do I care? NO! Because I warned you!
THIS PAGE HAS NOT PASSED HEALTH AND SAFETY STANDARDS! This Page Has Not Passed International Health and Safety StandardsThis may be for a number of reasons. This article could have a weak structure, or could contain hazardous substances. It may also be ON FIRE!
The Webpage You Are Currently Viewing is HIGHLY Flammable. PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE! SWITCH ALL ELECTRICAL DEVICES OFF NOW!
OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT NOTICE This Page Is EVIL And Enjoys Burning! DO NOT TOUCH!THIS PAGE IS HAZARDOUS!It's Owner Can Accept No Responsibility For Any Harm Or Injury Inflicted By This Page.THIS PAGE CONSTITUTES A FIRE!DO NOT TOUCH!Touching This Page With Any Part Of The Body Will Result In A Burning Sensation. This Is Known As Burning. If You Experience Burning Please Cycle To Your Local Doctors Immediately.
This page is a page which is on fire. That means that this whole page is currently burning, yes it's actually burning as you read these very words. We did warn you, you may have noticed a few notices on the way in? Yeah, there were a few... Well, anyway, all that matters now is that you're here. It is very likely that you might just die in the flames or from smoke inhalation, but if you're lucky you may escape.
No one really knows what this page used to be about, all they know is that it is currently ON FIRE! It may well have been a page about busses or toilets or signs, but we probably will never know. But there is one thing we do know and that's this is a page. Also this page happens to be on fire. Also you happen to be reading this. Also this page has NOT been fitted with a fire alarm. You could try ringing the fire service, but that's just a silly idea. We have no phone and how are firewomen (or men, I guess) going to get into a webpage? I wish you would think, sometimes.
===You Now Have Three Options, No This Isn't One Of Those Stupid Text Games, It's Real Life...===
# Continue reading this page - Don't worry I'll think up some rubbish for you to continue reading, no, don't worry, it's not a problem.
# Shoot yourself - Given the circumstances this would be wholly appropriate, to have such a bitchy and annoying article whinging on at you, well...
# Go to another page on Uncyclopedia which isn't on fire - Go ahead, be my guest there are a lot of funny pages out there!
=== Rubbish For You To Read If You Wish To Continue To Read This Article Which Is On Fire ===
Herrings - One of the pillars of modern society. "Modern Society" - One of the pillars of herrings. Herrings are a noble race, a fine race, they breed and are happy. They live together and they whinge together. Many scientists have likened them to human beings. If you examine the two species carefully you will notice many similarities: for example both can swim, both breathe, both have hearts, both can break-dance while holding a herring and a copy of the YMCA song on CD. Herrings, however, have recently gone into decline as they are hunted for use in the dildo industry. 
Hmm... writing coherent rubbish for people to read is actually quite a hard task! Well I'll have to scrap that idea, instead you'll have to pretend to continue to read rubbish, I'll just hit "enter" a couple of times so there's some space.
You can't pretend? Well you've got a bloody lousy imagination then, haven't you? Try and imagine herrings swimming all over the page and letters and stuff like that. It's not that hard to pretend. I would copy and paste a Wikipedia article in here but I can't get out, what with the flames. Back to pressing enter, I guess...
*cough*
*splutter*
Wow, there really is quite a bit of smoke in here....
*cough*
*cough*
*splutter*
THE END Go on, clear off or wait for fate. Personally I don't mind, but if you're going to wait here, please just read a book or something, OK? I have a lot of work to be getting on with. You can take a seat at the back, there. Good. *cough*
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Category:Fire