Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams

The Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams (formerly the Moab Sunbeams and the Hellmouth Sunbeams) are a professional Blaseball team based in Moab Hellmouth, Utah. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season A and compete in the Awful Good division of the Good Conference. 
During the Discipline Era, the Sunbeams originally competed in the Lawful Evil division of the Evil League. After the passing of the decree during the , the Sunbeams were placed into the Wild Low division of the Wild League, where they played for the remainder of the Discipline Era and entirety of the Expansion Era.
==Roster==
===Expansion Era===
Select Tlopps cards can be found here.
==Player History==
For a list of all former players, see Category:Former Hellmouth Sunbeams Players.
==Season Results==
For a full season by season breakdown see the Sunbeams' Season Summaries, starting from Season 1.
==History==
For a timeline of notable events which have happened to the Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams, see Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams/History.
==Team Chemistry==
The Sunbeams are known for their great team chemistry, and relaxed vibes that may surprise some given their historically poor record of being good at Blaseball. Overall, the Sunbeams haven taken a philosophical approach to their poor performances in seasons past, rationalising that compared to the latent daily horror of life in the Immaterial Plane, the Blaseball League, and on the teetering lip of a pit dropping straight into hell, "being bad at Blaseball isn't worth losing braincells over." Nobody blames anybody after a loss, and win or lose they all go get smoothies from the Shadow Moabbey. It is not recommended that anyone outside the team drinks the smoothies from the Moabbey. The players have worked very hard to be able to tolerate those god-awful smoothies, and fans are certainly unprepared. 
The Sunbeams are also major figures in the wider Hellmouth community, with a strong sense of responsibility to be good role models who strongly discourage anyone from trying to come to Hellmouth. Even visitors planning only a short trip run the risk of experiencing the Tug, and/or gaining an Adaptation which would forever tie them to the accursed place the Sunbeams call home. However, should fate, blessings, weather, misfortune, elections, or grim determination bring a newcomer to the Sunbeams roster, the team will do all they can to help the new player feel welcome. The orientation programs are an ad-hoc affair, but combine practical advice for surviving in Hellmouth with haphazard explanations of Igneus "Iggy" Delacruz and Miguel James' theatrics and antics.
Many players on the Sunbeams roster are active members in the community: running local businesses, guest lecturing at Hellmouth Community College, or offering services to make Hellmouth that little bit less inhospitable for everyone living there.
==Rivalries==
For more information about the Sunbeams' concept of rivalries, and a list of known rivalries, see Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams/Rivalries.
The Sunbeams have a complicated relationship with rivalries, a label which oft-encompasses a range of complicated and nuanced emotional relationships. Rivalry, as understood by the Sunbeams and their fans, involves:
*wistfully watching their rival's matches, hoping to face them in battle once again
*fiercely defending a rival from others, for only You are allowed to defeat them
*cheering for the rival as they grow, overcome trials and reveal new strengths, as such development is a hallmark for any worthy rival
*being unable to think of anyone other than the rival
*on dark nights wondering if they're staring into the same sun, cursing your name.
In the spirit of competition, everyone in the League is a rival of the Hellmouth Sunbeams, though some rivalries have been developed to the point they fall under a separate category of Major Rivalry, Rivalliance, or Anti-Rival. To learn more about these rivalries, or to find out your team's rivalry-status with the Sunbeams, please view the Rivalries subpage.
==Staff==
===Coaches===
*Sol, head coach
**Monsieur Bean (possibly Monsieur Beam), personal assistant to the head coach
*Velasquez Meadows's Ghost, manager
*Addie Tantalus, asst. coach
*[No known first name] Nakamura, asst. coach
*Determination Montgomery, batting coach
*Beef Randolph, nutritionist
===Additional Personnel===
*JEFF, "mascot"
*Dead Tom, the fan
*The Man Who Owns All the Teeth, sponsor
*The entire population of Bishop Sutton
*Moon Roomba
==Stadium==
==Fan Culture==
For more on the Sunbeams' fan culture and chants, see Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams/Fan Culture.
===Gameday Traditions===
Every time the Beams score a run, a child is allowed to hurl a pane of glass off the highest part of the stadium wall. This has led to numerous incidents of children trying to use psychic powers to manifest runs, which has been a great boost to the team's morale.
At the end of a winning home game, it is customary for the Sunbeams to dump the team's water cooler on the pitcher. The Hellmouth being what it is, this has resulted in 15 hospitalizations for steam burns this season.
In honor of Alexander Horne's revenge-driven grand slam tribute to Velasquez Meadows, fans of the Sunbeams refer to all grand slams as Horne Runs.
===The Solympic Flame===
At the dawn of every Season, a fire is started somewhere in the Solarium using the sacred light from the easternmost Blaseball location. To date, the flame has been extinguished by Garages fans before the season has concluded. For more information, see the Solympic Flame page.
===Notable Chants===
====Team General====
*Call: FIVE SEVEN
**Response: SEVEN EIGHT (Upon victory and/or scoring)
***5778 is the temperature of the sun in Kelvin
*Call: STARE INTO THE SUN
**Response: THE SUN STARES BACK
*Call: BONE FLESH TEETH
**Response: TEETH FLESH BONE
*Call: TOO HOT
**Response: HOT DAMN
*HERE COMES THE SUN
Beams fans are also known to yell players' Soulscreams to cheer them on.
====Player Specific====
Player 	Cheer
Pangolin Ruiz 	PAN GO LONG / PAN GO HOME / PAN GONE / LIN FOR THE WIN
Grizz El Sayed 	GRIZZARD / GRIZZLED / UNSPEAKABLE GRIZZ / SAYED AIN’T SO
Cory Ross 	BOSS ROSS / SCORY CORY / NO SCORY OFF CORY / GLORY TO CORY
Kajjala Aliyev 	SMOKE ‘EM / ALIYEVIATE US/ALIYEVIATED / ALIYOOP
Eugenia Garbage 	GARBAGE DAY / TAKE OUT THE TRASH / TRASH EM
Guozhi Ong 	GO ONG / ONG GO LONG / ONG BASE
Jorge Owens 	HOMER OWENS / HOMER OWENS ASSOCIATION / O-WINS OWENS / HIP  HIP JORGE
Cravel Gesundheit	SHE//ROX / GROUNDBREAKING / BLESS YOU
Willow Dice 	ROLL THE DICE / NAT 20 / DICE EM UP / CRIT FAIL / NAT 1 / DICED / LETS GO WILD LOW (ICE)
Carter Grimsley 	THINGS ARE LOOKING GRIM / CART EM OFF/OUT / GRIM SLAY
London Simmons 	LONDON CALLING
Grollis Zephyr 	RICK GROLLED
Dunn Keyes 	DUNNK EM / DUNNKIES / GET DUNNKED ON / DUNN MOVE
Mooney Doctor 	THE DOCTOR IS IN//AND YOU ARE OUT / TO THE MOON
====Shadowed Players====
Player	Cheer
 	There are currently no visible Sunbeams shadows players
====Retired Chants====
These chants have either fallen out of fashion, or are associated with players no longer on the Sunbeams' roster.
General
*We are okay!
*Beam me up, Scotty!
*You can't beat the heat!
*(:
Past Players
Player 	Cheer
Hendricks Richardson 	PROF/PROFESSOR / SCHOOL 'EM PROF / EAT THE PITCH / ON YOUR MARX
Siobhan Chark 	CHARK ATTACK
Avila Guzman 	PARTY ANGEL
Dudley Mueller 	BIG SIPS / BIG HITS / RIP IT AND GRIP IT / HOMERUNCULUS (when scoring a home run)
Kaz Fiasco 	What a Fiasco!
Brisket Friendo 	Risk it for the brisket
Igneus Delacruz 	Delacruzin'
Nerd Pacheco 	PA CHE CO / That's our Nerd!
Sutton Bishop 	HONK / Call: IT TAKES A VILLAGE (Response: TO PILOT A GOOSE) / GOOSE CRIMES (when stealing a base)
Malik Romayne 	Lettuce win!
Alaynabella Hollywood	HOLLYWEED (in conjunction with Randall Marijuana) / HOLLYWOOD AND HOLLY COULD
Emmett Internet 	DIAL UP / CONNECTION ESTABLISHED / aeiou / *dial-up noises* / *sad dial-up noises*
Randall Marijuana 	HOLLYWEED (in conjunction with Alaynabella Hollywood)
Alexander Horne 	TOOT TOOT / DOOT DOOT / 🎺 / HORNE RUN (when scoring a home run)
Hahn Fox 	Call: TOO HAHN (Response: HAHN DAMN) / FOX TROT (when moving) / FOX IN BOX
Son Jensen 	SON(SUN)
Howell Franklin 	Awoo!
Eugenia Bickle 	BIC KILL / Runs Bickled in!
Lars Taylor 	LONE STAR LARS (with variants for more stars) / YEEHAAW
Sandoval Crossing 	CROSS 'EM OUT / X X X / You shall not pass
Zack Sanders 	Throw rocks! / ZACK ATTACK
Jayden Wright 	ALL RISE, COURT IS IN SESSION / CLOSE THE CASE
Sigmund Castillo 	HELLS MOVING CASTLE
Elvis Figueroa 	You've been gnomed
Paula Reddick 	Call: Who you gonna call-a? (Response: Paula Paula Paula!) / That's the spirit! / REDDICKULOUS
Guy Gulp 	Thats our Guy! / GG
Nagomi Nava 	GO GO GOMI / ゴゴゴゴ (when moving) / Gomi go Homi
Miguel James 	THE FLAMES OF JAMES
Phineas Wormthrice 	PHINISH IT / PHINISHED
Joe Voorhees 	GO JOE / GO GO GI JOE (GI stands for Good Intentions)
Kaj Statter Jr. 	STATTER UP / THE JOCTOR IS IN
==Fan Works==
Have fan art of the Sunbeams? Add it here or at Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams/Fan Works!
File:Sunbeams Lineup.png|Sunbeams Lineupby @Oxyoxspring
File:SunbeamsS7 by alienmandy.jpg|Sunbeams Lineupby @alienmandy_
File:Sunbeams by red fathom.png|Sunbeams Lineupby Red Fathoms
File:BeamsS10 by coblin.png|Sunbeams Rosterby Coblin
File:6 out of 13 of these guys currently on the active beams siesta to siesta ✌️😔.jpg|Sunbeams Rosterby Olive
File:Beamsrotation.jpg|⅘ of the Sunbeams Rotationby Casper Pham
File:My Beautiful Beams.......Almost 🙂.png|Sunbeams Rosterby Olive
File:Sunbeams Notarized S2 Winners.png|Sunbeams Season 2 Rosterby Jonny
File:2020.10.16.party.png|Sunbeams Party Time recipients in Season 10by larkine
File:Friends by larkine.png|Hall Stars players Emmett Internet and Randall Marijuana, formerly of the Sunbeamsby larkine
File:2020.10.19.friends.two.png|The Precog Trioby larkine
File:Stay a little longer, please, for me.jpg|alt=A digital drawing of two hands. One of the hands has dark reddish-orange tiger stripes on it, and is reaching upwards towards a pomegranate with stitching on the outside to resemble a blaseball. The other hand has glowing gold veins of light along it and is holding the hand with stripes by the wrist, pulling it back away from the pomegranate, which has a yellow ring of light around it. The background is a red-black ombre.|stay a little longer, please, for meby @_pysics
File:Sunbeams season 11 champions.png|Sunbeams win the Season 11 Championshipby larkine
File:102420 BeamsChampion.gif|click to viewSunbeams Season 11 Championship animationby @MimimiCee
File:Siesta sleepybeams.jpg|alt=A digital drawing of the Hellmouth Sunbeams Season 11 roster taking a nap together.|Siesta Sunbeamsby @alienmandy_
File:The Only Trio Ever.jpg|alt=A digital drawing of Emmett Internet, Randy Weed, and Nagomi Nava. Emmett is a robot with a CRT monitor for a head, Randy is a tiefling with green hair, and Nagomi is a woman with long black hair and a multi-eyed entity covering the left side of her face. The trio is wearing matching Sunbeams jackets while leaning on each other and chatting.|The Only Trio Everby @rubiqunda
File:Beams advice by ash.jpg|Nagomi Nava, Nerd Pacheco, Sutton Bishop, and Miguel James offer heartfelt life adviceBy Ash
File:Fambily.png|alt=Howell Franklin hugging Iggy Delacruz & Wyatt Mason VII|Familyby Jace
File:Sk8r beems.jpg|alt=A digital drawing of Sunbeams players Zack Sanders, Kaj Statter Jr., Hahn Fox, & Igneus Delacruz rollerskating together. The background is pale yellow with a row of faded, green, dark yellow, and orange stripes swirling across.|Sunbeams Skatersby @_pysics
File:Until we yeet again….jpg|The Precog Trioby @snorgyfanatic
File:At da ren faire.jpg|Lars, Nerd & Sandy at the Vlalentines Day Ren Faire, by 
File:GAS 👏 MONEY.jpg|alt=A digital drawing of Guy Gulp with Aldon Cashmoney at the counter of Seven Helleven. Guy is an dark-skinned person with short afro-textured hair and a hearing aid in zir left ear. Ze is handling a box and having a conversation with Aldon, an individual with dark brown skin, golden locs made of coins, and a small set of golden wings, who is leaning back on the counter casually.|Guy Gulp with Aldon Cashmoneyby Chamomile
File:OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS WHICH ONE ARE YOU?.png|alt=A selection of Sunbeams players drawn over the \"Out of your friends which one are you\?" meme with Paula Reddick as the truck freak, Kaj Statter Jr. as the crazy ass, Phineas Wormthrice as the друг, and Jayden Wright as the fighter.|OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS WHICH ONE ARE YOU?by Ash
File:Shadowdance.png|alt=A digital illustration of Sunbeams players Donia Bailey, Kaj Statter Jr., Lars Taylor, Joe Voorhees, Phineas Wormthrice, and Nagomi Nava square dancing on the deck of Kaj's ship. They are all similarly dressed in white shirts or crop-tops, leather vests, black skirts or jorts, and matching cowboy boots. In addition to this, Donia is wearing a black bandanna, Lars a cowboy hat, and Joe his signature hockey mask. Donia is partnered with Kaj, Lars with Joe, and Nagomi with Finny, whom she is tossing up into the air.|Shadows Square Dancingby @yokorin
File:New Beams, Who Dis?.png|alt=A digital drawing of London Simmons, Mooney Doctor, Dunn Keyes, and Pangolin Ruiz after falling out of the Black Hole (Black Hole).|First Four Fallsby Chamomile
File:Sobbing...mybabies.png|alt=Digital drawing of the 5 remaining original non-alternated Sunbeams as of Season 24. In the front, Miguel James is in the middle with his arms around Nagomi Nava to the left and Lars Taylor on the right. Behind them, Zack Sanders is in between Miguel and Lars, sticking her tongue out and throwing out peace signs. Sandoval Crossing is between Miguel and Nagomi, smiling. All are dressed in their active Sunbeams uniform. Zack and Miguel are both smiling wide and Nagomi is looking slightly bored at the camera.|OG Beamsby Olive
File:Dead Tom Jeffrey Real.jpg|alt=A sun with a worried expression in the center of an orange, yellow, and white circle. The words \"Moab Sunbeams\" encircle it.|Logo by Kess
File:Sacred Geometry Suns.jpg|alt=A light yellow torus in the center of a larger yellow circle with small, thin, short yellow rays extending from it on a dotted background of stars. Below are the words \"Stare into the Sun.\"|Stare into the Sunposter by Kess
File:Staring Into The Sun.jpg|alt=An eye in the center of a glowing pale yellow orb, surrounded by thin rays of light. The words \"Hellmouth Sunbeams\" encircle it.|Logo by Kess
File:Visit Beautiful Hellmouth!.png|alt=A travel poster stating "Visit Beautiful Hellmouth", depicting a flaming pit in the desert. The foreground has a cattle skull and behind the mouth are some cacti. In the distance are mountains of red rock along the horizon and the sun is shining in the sky.|Visit Beautiful Hellmouthby 
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Category:Teams
Category:Hellmouth Sunbeams
Category:Wild League teams
Category:Wild Low teams
Category:Lawful Evil teams
Category:Evil League teams
Category:Internet League Blaseball