Bassist/The Bass Offender Checklist

Name of Offender (Bass Player):_______________________ 	Name of Offender (Bass Player):_______________________	Name of Offender (Bass Player):_______________________
Infraction Date:___________________________ 	Infraction Date:___________________________ 	Infraction Date:___________________________
Musical Offenses 	Musical Offenses 	Musical Offenses
   Playing loudly during warm up 	$10 	
   Sound-checking amp with funk slapping 	$25 	
   Loud cursing after mistake 	$10 	
   Playing high and fast after mistake 	$20 	
   Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes 	$20 	
   Asking for "E" tuning note 	$25 	
   Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb 	$50 	
   Playing written-out walking line 	$50 	
   Failure to play written walking line 	$75 	
   Writing note names over ledger-line notes 	$50 	
   Writing beat numbers under dotted figures 	$50 	
   Playing eighth notes 	$5 each 	
   Playing sixteenth notes 	$10 each 	
   Playing above 1st octave 	Immediate dismissal 	
   Dragging fast tempo 	$75 	
   Dragging ballad tempo 	$100 	
   Blacking out during ballad 	$200 	
   Ignoring drummer's tempo 	$100 	
   Following drummer's tempo 	$250 	
   Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me 	$1000 	
Upright Players 	Upright Players 	Upright Players
   Showing up before first downbeat 	$25 	
   Playing audibly 	$25 	
   Faking changes 	$25 	
   Slapping 	$150 	
   Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass 	$25 	
   Excessive sweating 	$25 	
   Pedal point double-stops during horn solo 	$50 	
   Asking leader for a solo 	$30 	
   Accepting solo when offerred 	$50 	
   Taking second chorus 	$100 	
   Playing solo arco 	$400 	
   Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune 	$100 	
   Playing "A Train" ending on every tune 	$200 	
   Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune 	$500 	
Electric Players 	Electric Players 	Electric Players
   Checking hair between tunes 	$15 	
   Experimenting with odd meters 	$25 	
   Missing root at end of blistering fill 	$25 	
   Playing with a pick 	$50 	
   Tuning during ballad 	$30 	
   Playing Jaco groove on samba 	$75 	
   Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad 	$150 	
   Attempting last word on final chord 	$50 	
   Achieving last word on final chord 	$100 	
   Long gliss down to final note 	$200 	
Equipment Violations 	Equipment Violations 	Equipment Violations
   Forgetting strap 	$10 	
   Changing strings after every set 	$15 	
   Using electric tuner 	$15 	
   Setting up mic "just in case" 	$75 	
   Forgetting to turn amp on 	$40 	
   Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip 	$50 	
   Asking horn player for help moving amp 	$25 	
   Bringing custom-made bass 	$100 per string above 4 	
   Bringing more than 1 bass 	$100 per extra bass 	
   Skull decals on bass 	$150 	
   Bringing fretless bass 	$500 	
Criminal Bad Taste 	Criminal Bad Taste 	Criminal Bad Taste
   Telling bone player about all the gigs you get 	$10 	
   Asking bone player about their day gig 	$10 	
   Sitting behind drums on break 	$10 	
   Quoting "Birdland" 	$25 	
   Practicing scales during break 	$25 	
   Practicing scales during drum solo 	$50 	
   Practicing 	$150 	
   Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." 	$50 	
   Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing"	$100 	
Basic Stupidity 	Basic Stupidity 	Basic Stupidity
   Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt 	$10 	
   Wearing new Nickelback tour shirt 	$20 	
   Asking when the rock set starts 	$20 	
   Continually asking "Where are we?" 	$25 	
   Continually shouting "Yeah!" 	$25 	
   Asking bone player where "1" is 	$50 	
   Taking cell phone call during 4's 	$100 	
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