nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Please, Stay

This has been the best week-end of my life. Or at least, one of the best, I am almost sure of it.
I went outside more than I usually do with my friends and there was a ton of new people. I also met a girl, beautiful. She wasn't a real piece of crumpet, not one of those girls the first thing you think is to take them to bed as soon as you see them. No, this one was beautiful, a beauty which is rare to find. A beauty I wasn't used to.
In the begin we didn't talk much, we were very shy. We talked a little and with shyness, but we talked. She also had a fantastic attitude and listened to same music as I do. If there is one thing I have always appreciated in girls it's musical tastes, and hers were divine. She drew art, and well too. A little artist. Beautiful body and beautiful mind. The prototype of perfection as close to it as possible.
Like every dream, though, this one ended too. She was only visiting our little town: she was only going to stay a few days at a friend's house. That evening, when I finally managed to come closer to her and discovering something about her, was the last evening of her holiday.
I would have wanted to go to her and beg her, beg her on my knees...
"Stay. Please, stay. Don't go away in such a hurry, we still have so much to talk about. You are so beautiful... so specil... so different...
STAY."
...but I didn't. I didn't have the courage, I guess.
I couldn't wait to be able to see her again, I wasn't going to be able to resist. I followed her, the morning left. She was going to her car. I admired her one last time: she was like a goddess, she shined of her light. I lost my mind after seeing her and my legs walked on their own.
I shot her in a leg. A scream, high-pitched and strident. She fell to the ground, grabbing her wound and searching for the culprit while looking around. I couldn't shoot again, I would have ruined her.
I quickly walked towards her, who screamed again as soon as he saw me and tried to creep away.
Where do you think you are going? WHY ARE YOU GOING AWAY FROM ME?
I hit her in the head with the gun's butt and she began to bleed. I lift her and came back home.
We are alone, finally. Don't scream, I can hear you well. The tykes don't hurt you, do they? Come on, don't complain. I only put them on the hands and on the feet. They are security measures. I don't want you to go away.
We will have all the time we need to talk, now.
Only you and me.
And you are not going away this time.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Pointless Violence
Please Be Careful When Blowing Bus Drivers At Disneyland Bathrooms

I had a regular side hustle for the past year or so transporting my family to dodgy Disney trips in 'exchange' for blowies. My wife was always puzzled why we kept rebooking with Disney despite the constant prostitution, panic over catching the bus, our refusal to walk and disappointing family fun.
My secret is much sadder than that.
Truth is, I've a longstanding fetish for being 'coerced' into performing orally without my wife being able to blame me for it which Is why I keep writing lengthy stories with it as the happy ending, and me and my bum boi manny have a adequate arrangement where he always just happens to be there to 'pick me up' when our holiday has mysteriously gone wrong once again. I must have swallowed him at least 50 times at this point, and my dumb bitch wife still don't suspect a thing!
However, we've repeated this arrangement so much now that the security are starting to twig, and last two times we've been caught in flagrante and dragged before Walt and Mick themselves.
Micky cleared his throat.
"Look guys, it's the 21st century. Walt's learned to tolerate the Jews. Homophobia is mostly confined to lazy jokes on Subreddits for bitter failed writers. Ya guys wanna fuck, ya can fuck! But this is a family place."
I explained our situation.
"Uh man, there was this dirty hotel room... My wife mighta got bad hair... y'see I really had no choice but to blow Manny. it was a 20 mile walk...." Manny stroked my thigh reassuringly under the table.
Micky leaned forward and grabbed my lapels with his creepy little mouse gloves.
"Listen you little bitch. I've done prison time, I know what it is to have to sell yourself. You just have a fuckin' awful wife, make terrible decisions and don't seem to know your audience. Don't insult me with your bitch ass excuses. I'm sending you and Manny on separate cruises to get you pricks out of my hair and outta my family parks. You'd better keep it to yourselves on there."
But I had blown the entire crew on the first day.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Please Don't Walk in the Summer Sun

So my kids couldn't even walk half a mile in the baking sun. I think you can see where this is going. So we had to take shelter in an air conditioned bus for a couple of days till we recover.
Manny emerged from the bus's bathroom with three men.
"Ted? Again? C'mon man this isn't even funny anymore. Every iteration of this joke has been squeezed for every last dreg of humour. My foreskin is more or less ruined by this point and audience saturation must be near breaking point. But you still just can't walk! Try sleeping during the day and walking at night or something, Jesus Christ dude."
"Yeah I know. Say Manny, how about I satisfy you some other way for a change? We could take up hobbies."
"Sure man."
We played Jenga, twister (which ended badly-you can guess how), Took a sightseeing tour of Wuhan on Manny's bus and he bought us some better sneakers for only one rimjob per pair, and he introduced my kids to his own son, Sonny. We discussed the works of Naoya Shiga, Rumi and Pliny the elder. He told me about his childhood in mexico, how his father had been killed by the cartels for refusing to blow their leader, and he'd sought revenge by making every banger worldwide fellate him.
When that was done though, he just felt empty, and not just in his ballsack. He'd tried to do something that would make people smile instead and thought maybe he could do good at Disneyland. But he'd gone too far along the road of sexual predation by then to ever truly give up, and when he met me, his life had seemed worth living again.
"But now we're stuck in a rut ted. You get stuck in a wacky situation and can't walk out of it, and I do the same thing every time like some clockwork toy. Somedays I don't feel like a real Manny anymore. Not even a little childdy. Just a cheap joke. A cheap whore."
I put my hand on his knee.
"Oh manny, you're so much more than that."
And then, by the side of the hotel pool, in front of our children, mine and his, and his bathroom full of Concubines, we did something we'd never done in all our adventures together before.
We kissed. And it felt like angels dancing.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Please God End This Misery

It's a hot disgusting summer night. The humidity is off the charts and the clouds refuse to rain.
It's 2:00 a.m. and there is zero moonlight and stars are no where to be seen from my bedroom window.
Out of nowhere, the power goes out.
I was now in complete darkness.
Moreover, the air conditioner stopped and I know I have a half hour before complete misery would set in.
I wait a half hour and still no power.
I start to sweat from the disgusting heat and humidity.
I now know, I have to get out of my room and find some type of cold relief.
I walk down the stairs, in the pinch darkness, then into the living room and then it happened.
As the front part of my right foot touched the floor, I felt that sensation that I once felt before.
That wet gooey gelatinous disgusting hair ball mixed in cat puke.
I yell out like I have just been shot.
I now know that I need to make it to the bathroom to clean the disgust off my right foot.
I now walk normally on my left foot and slowly hobble on the heel of my right foot with the utmost caution to not spread the cat "puke."
I make it to the dining room and like a soldier, who knows they have just stepped on a land mine, my right foot slowly penetrated a second puddle of gelatinous disgusting cat "puke".
I quickly fall on my back like a wounded soldier would.
I pick up my left foot and the hair ball, that was formed in the shape of cat feces, slowly trickles off my foot.
I am covered in sweat and both of my feet are now covered in the most horrible of disgust.
I stay on my back with my feet in the air.
I don't want to spread the "puke" so I inch my way to the bathroom with the hope of rinsing off my feet in the shower.
I slowly navigate around the throw up on the floor. I'm using my back muscles and my elbows to propel myself to the bathroom.
I make it to the shower and I now know, I can get this terror off my feet.
I remain on the floor, on my back, with my feet in the air.
I go to turn on the shower and I yell out "Oh God ... why God ... No". There's no water. The power outage stopped my well pump.
I hear my enemy from a distance mocking me saying "meow meow"
I now lay on my back on the bathroom floor crying hysterically in despair and praying to the power company Gods to restore my power.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Pleatherface

Growing up back in my hometown of Bakers, Texas there was a story that my grandpa would tell me. He called it the legend of Pleatherface. Basically, there was a poor man that wasn't able to afford his house because he was laid off from the chocolate factory. Disgruntled that he was going to lose everything, he went to the factory late one night and jumped into a vat of molten chocolate. They didn't find him for 3 days. When they pulled him out his skin had turned a rough brown color that resembled the pleather that was popular in 90's cars. Because of this, he adopted the new moniker Pleatherface.
They say he survived those 3 days because he was able to drink the molten chocolate causing him to have SOOOOO much diabetes and ouchie boo boos on his tongue and in his tummy. His penis turned into a Cadbury creme egg, his asshole a Hershey Kiss. Now I'm not a smart man, but I had a feeling that the story was an allegory to teach me a lesson about friendship and the importance of American engineering, but he swore to me on his deathbed that the story was true, and I should never set foot in that old, abandoned chocolate factory. I promised him that I never would.
I kept that promise for 34 minutes, the length of time between him dying and me driving to that chocolate factory. When I parked, I saw a man matching his exact description down to his Cadbury penis and candy asshole. But I was still unconvinced. It was probably just a coincidence. So, I went inside.
The inside of the old factory was exactly how you would picture a factory that was closed down for close to 50 years. There were model trains and deflated basketballs scattered about the floor. Huge flatscreen TVs hung on the doors and my mom was there cooking up a batch of her famous chili.
"Hey Mom," I said.
"DO YOU HAVE ANY HEROIN?" my mom screamed pulling out a switchblade.
"Mom, when did you turn into a six-foot man with a crippling heroin addiction?" I asked.
"I'M NOT YOUR MOM AND I NEED HEROIN," mom said loudly.
"When's dinner?" I asked looking around. My mom stabbed me hard in the liver. As I lay there bleeding, Pleather face walked out from a room across the factory. He turned on one of the flatscreens on the wall and sat down on one of the model trains.
"CHOOOOO CHOOOOO," he yelled loudly and drove the train into my mom.
"Oh no, you killed my mom!" I yelled leaking blood from my mouth.
"But you learned the true meaning of American ingenuity." Pleatherface said. He was right too. For the rest of my life, I only bought American made cars like Hondas because they have such funny names. HON-DA. Lol. Now if you will excuse me, I have 97 more hits of acid to take and you know what they say, you have to 23 skidoo or the acid hits you. Goodbye George Washington, it was nice talking to you. I always enjoy our chats.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Beings
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Plot of Breaking Bad Described by Jesse Pinkman - Written by Someone Who Has Never Watched Breaking Bad

Yo, what's up, it's Jesse Pinkman here. You might know me as that dude who cooked meth with Walter White. Yeah, that was a wild ride, let me tell you. But today, I wanna talk about something a little different.
See, I always knew that Gus Fring was up to no good. He was always so smooth and charming, but there was just something about him that seemed off. And man, was I right.
Turns out, Gus was running a major drug cartel right under our noses. I mean, who would've thought that the owner of Los Pollos Hermanos was cooking and distributing meth? Not me, that's for sure.
But it all went down one day when I got a call from Hector Salamanca. He told me that the authorities were closing in on our lab and that we needed to shut it down ASAP.
So, we did what we had to do. We shut down the lab and disposed of all the evidence. Or at least, we thought we did. But as it turns out, Hector accidentally left behind a gas mask with trace amounts of meth on it. And you know what that means: the authorities were able to trace it back to our lab.
Gus knew that he had to get out of town fast, so he booked a flight to Chile. And as he was flying over the United States, his plane was hijacked by terrorists. I'll never forget the look on Gus's face as he watched the Twin Towers crumble to the ground. It was like he knew that his actions had indirectly caused one of the worst tragedies in American history.
And that's how it all went down. I mean, who would've thought that the simple act of cooking meth could have such far-reaching consequences? But that's the thing about life: you never know what's gonna happen. All you can do is roll with the punches and try to make the best of it.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:Shortpasta
Plulululululul

When I walked into the dark room at the end of the day, I stepped in something slimy. I was in an abandoned office building as I was the night guard. So I bent down and touched the slimy thing, because I had no flashlight to see it. I licked the slime, it tasted like a fruit nut. I was confused but I thought it tasted nice, it was WONDERFUL. 
I ate up all the slime, without thinking and carried on and on. Until suddenly BLAHHHH. I threw it all up. I was in the kitchen, my slimy sick was in the sink now. So I ran up the stairs, scared in the darkness and fell back down again.
So I was knocked out and then...
I woke up Billy Mays, was standing over me. He yelled in a distorted voice; 'BILLY MAYS HERE'. He looked straight into my eyes, it felt like he was looking into my soul. Then out of nowhere Michael Rosen jumped out yelling; 'PLAMS' like a madman at Billy. Before I knew it, they had started a Pokemon battle. Billy yelled; 'KABOOM', throwing oxiclean infront of Michael. Michael's eyes suddenly popped out and Michael said; 'no... DRINKING'.
*Throws a glass at Billy.*
Billy fell to the floor faceplanting the ground. Then suddenly Vince the shamwow guy dived out of the oxiclean ball. Michael threw Billy's oxiclean at Vince the shamwow guy. Then all of a sudden BAM the dirt is gone,
Vince vanished into thin air, exiting through the window. He spent the rest of his life reading a comic in a windmill in Holland. Billy announced: 'The handy switch' and the room was flooded with light, which Michael was blinded by the exteremely bright light. Then all of a sudden the oxiclean fumes were to strong for Michael and suffecated him and then saddly...
Michael just fell over and died. And everything was lovely once again WONDERFUL.
(Michael was never seen again)
Category:Trollpasta
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Shortpasta
Plums

One cold, fruitful morning, I woke up to plums all around me. There were just plums everywhere. On the floor, the wall, the bed, my bedside table, my fridge, my counter, my stove, everywhere. I was very hungry so I decided to eat them all. One by one, I ate the plums. But what I didn't count on is that I was being watched. I wasn't supposed to eat the plums. I had made a terrible mistake. I turned around and saw this:
Category:EVIL FOOD
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:TRUE STORY
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta
Poem by Willump Shanksper

Let me savour your scrumptious buttox, it's bountiful taste overcoming the buds of flavor. Open thy sound and heed my warning. Your hole is desirable, and shall be sieged and sought by the Fervor of the gods, it's succulent sent fills the earth, let thy firm tree fill her with thy seed, and nurture her with the bounty of earthly delights. If the acquitted slows thy attempt, heed your intentions forthwith but do not quarrel my bid to taste the fleshy fragrance.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Shortpasta
Poem of the Slender-Man

Waves crash upon the shore,
come on children please explore,
through the caves that go so deep,
but first get some sleep.
You don't believe but check the proof,
who is that beyond the roof,
the only one who never sleeps,
you can try but it ends with weep.
Alas children, please don't cry,
I never meant for her to die,
the shadows called she chose to run,
she'll never see the rising sun.
You dare to try such blasphemy,
such dangerous trickery,
I watched you I was your friend,
yet in eyes you were condemned.
I will make you rue this day,
to the slender man you always pay.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Morons Attempting Poetry
Category:PROOF DAT SLENDURMAN EXUSTS
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Pointless Pasta

I was in my room one day when something creepy happened. It was 6:66 PM (at least according to my watch); the sun was still up, and, oddly enough, had been up ever since I locked myself in my room three days ago. Also, my door had inexplicably vanished. Anyway, I was talking to my pet rock when suddenly I heard something shifting around in my closet.
"Cthulhu (that was my pet rock's name), did you hear that?"
No response.
"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. I'm scared too."
The noise stopped, and deafening silence filled the room. I sat on the edge of my bed, motionless, for a good ten years. When I snapped out of it, I noticed that Cthulhu was missing. I also had a really long beard.
"CTHULHU!" I shouted, nearly panicking.
I sprang up from my bed and searched all over the room for him. As I approached my closet, something hit me in the back of the head and I fell unconscious for another ten years. When I awoke, I found Cthulhu sitting just outside the closet door, which was now mysteriously ajar. As I reached to pick him up, the closet door was suddenly flung open and a BRIGHT PINK SKELETON POPPED OUT. It ran around my room screeching ancient 4chan memes for about six hours before bursting into flames. It then proceeded to jump out a five-hundred story window and get sucked into another dimension.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Pointsgaming the pointsgamer

'Twas the Month before Halloween,
And everything was crap,
Because all the Adkins were in the middle
Of a horrible rap.
Little did they know,
Pointsgaming was was back.
And he poinsgamed pages and he pointsgamed chat- Wait a second:
How the f*ck did he do that?
And soon he told LOLSKELETONS
That he was fat,
And LOLSKELETONS banned him
(Yes, just like that)
So remember kids:
Don't pointsgame,
Read the rules
Or else you'll end up
Like a tool.
That concludes our story,
So have a good evening,
I'm running out of rhymes,
So leave me alone.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Morons Attempting Poetry
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Shortpasta
Pokamon

== the day ==
It was a day like any other, i walk on sidewalk to the corner store that i trusted, when suddenly i notice a lost Gameboy color. on cartridge I noticed there was no game logo, only some writing saying "POKAMON BLUE EDITION"
and I was like "Wow. bootleg Pokemon" but i was bored, so I played.
== initial reaction ==
first thing I noticed is that when in normal Pokemon, the player was at the title screen with a Pokemon, that swaps every few seconds, but this time, it was a ghost Pokemon that never changed.
i thought "Ugh, someone tried to profit off of ROM hacks again." but played because ROM hacks are cool
Weirdly when I tried to make a new save file it said:
"A save file has been made for you. Please explore."
Now this was really strange... last time I checked, game boys couldn't make their own save files...
i selected the file because it was mysterious.
== game. ==
Suddenly, I was spawned in Oak's lab, when i try to go up to him he backed away. when he reached the wall he said:
"P-Please! Take anything you must, but leave me alone!"
Was I a murderer? Was I a criminal?
Anyways I took the Charmander cause he was cool and he has flames.
I went to town and to me shock, it looked really destroyed,. and nobody was there but for on person.
This wasn't just some amateur high schooler project.
Anyways, I was about to go to the tall grass when the only person there said:
Don't go in there! I beg you, my brother went to go get the Pokéballs, and he, he...
He never finished the sentence and just went back to the house. (weird)
Anyways, I went to the tall grass anyways and had my FIRST BATTLE.
== my first battle ==
so my first battle was with the GHOST POKEMON (I found out his name was haunter so sorry for the confusion)
and i tried to use Charmander because it was REALLY FREAKY, BECAUSE THE HAUNTER MOVED.
But instead it said:
Charmander ran away! You're on your own, now...
Oh gosh. Oh frick.
I thought it was going to be a blackout... but I was given 4 options.
punch, kick, speak, and stare.
so I thought to use punch, but the game said:
PUNCH cannot be used against enemy HAUNTER!
He attacked me. and I lost a bit of HP.
I used kick.
KICK cannot be used against enemy HAUNTER!
Lost more HP.
I used speak.
 SPEAK cannot be used against HAUNTER.
i only had one option left..
i did have 2 HP left, but it was all i got.
YOU used STARE.
And that's what you thought it was. 
I just didn't do anything, just looked at the enemy.
And then. Haunter attacked. immediately after I lost my HP, the Gameboy turned off when I tried to turn it back on, Haunter appeared and made a loud noise. that noise made my ears bleed
and I had to go to the hospital for a couple of days.
The people at the hospital gave me a Gameboy to entertain myself and when I turned it on, there was that screen. Trainer with Haunter...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pokemon
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.