Sonic.exe: Tom's update

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Tom Keane from SonicTVRadio. Make sure you check out my gaming channel BloodsULove, and when you get an opportunity, check out my other social media, links will be in the story's description.
Today I wanted to talk about a particular individual subject which had been very dear (in the most wrong way) to me, and that is Sonic.exe. Now, first of all, I noticed that many people wrongly categorized it as a "creepypasta", which is entirely wrong, because, dear ladies and gentlemen, I can wholeheartedly vouch that what happened is the honest to God truth.
X, or how he prefers to call himself, Sonic.exe is actually fucking REAL. I know, you probably won't believe it, but it is the actual truth. Sonic.exe is real and he's acting like an immature Pennywise of the internet, thinking he's pulling pranks by stealing peoples' souls! (For those of you who don't know, Pennywise is a creepy [or funny, depending on the actor] clown individual who dwells in the sewers of Festus, Missouri and spits on people, lying to the audiences that he actually kills them and feasts on their souls. The miniseries and movie were pretty dope; I heard this Stephen King guy will release a book soon, based on them) Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh right, Sonic.exe is real, and I got the actual proof from my recent encounter situations with the particular fiend.
It all started a few years ago, when my best friend Kyle sent me this haunted CD, begging me to destroy it. I thought it was all bogus and played the game, which was basically the original Sonic the Hedgehog with a horror movie twist. When I finished it, a creepy Sonic plushie individual kept stalking me. (I couldn't enjoy my private moments in the bathroom until I managed to catch it in the shower and flushed it down the toilet, which took a few weeks.) Somehow Kyle got in contact with me and together we managed to destroy the particular indestructible CD, freeing ourselves from the situation of the Sonic.exe curse for good. That night we had a sleepover, playing some games and having fun with each other. I'm feeling lots of pleasure whenever the individual that is Kyle ends up together in situations with me.
Fast forward to the present day, Kyle and I are now starting second year in college, we're going to the same place, sharing the same classes, we're even having close rooms in the dorm! Honestly, I don't think there's a more important individual in this world for me than my particular very good friend Kyle, I wonder if he shares my feelings. One day I was taking a shower, enjoying the situation of having warm water pour down my skinny body. (On a side note, I should really hit the gym in the future; maybe some hot gamer girls will like me if I grow some muscles. But meh, until that happens, I still got Kyle, and you all know the saying – bros before hoes!) I then heard a knock on my room's door, so I fetched a towel (with a Sonic head drawn on it in blue marker!) wrapped it around my waist and went to see who it was. To my shock, it was the same mailman from my hometown's neighborhood!
"Mister Wilson, how did you get here?" I asked, taken aback by this particular individual situation I was in.
"Hi there, Tom! I've been trying to find you for the whole summer, thankfully your parents finally told me you were here, so I came to deliver you a package." he smiled at me in a strangely particular way.
"Okay?" I shrugged and picked the box, to see it was from my good friend Kyle. "Um, sir, Kyle lives here a few rooms away from me, at the same floor."
"I know, but you see, he had meant to give you this gift way back when both of you lived in Festus, but I for some strange reason couldn't find it in my bags of mail. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, say hi to Kyle for me!" he waved and left.
I closed the door and put the package on the table, pushing aside my opened cans of chili, as well as mac and cheese. I was going to finish those later, now I had to see what particular kind of present Kyle wanted to give me, but couldn't because of the mailman individual's incompetence to deliver it. It was sealed tight; I couldn't open it in that situation, so I looked beneath my bed and pulled out my trusty chainsaw which I then used to slice the box in half. Relieved, I checked inside and saw that there was a letter written on pink paper and a CD! That Kyle, he always knows the kind of gifts I love. The letter said:
Dear Tom,
I don't want you to get this the wrong way, but you are very special to me. Remember how we used to play Sonic together since kindergarten while all those Mario loving losers laughed at us? We only had each other in our love for Sonic despite the new fads. Really, I don't know what my life could have been if I hadn't met you. To show my thanks for always having you by my side, dear Tom, here is this brand new Sonic game I pirated off of Sonic Retro. I so hope you'll love it!
Sweetest regards,
Kyle
Oh that individual, he always loved playing coy! Just for this, I'll share my opened cans of mac and cheese with him when I ritually drop by his room late at night. But first I had to see what this other game was about. Hopefully it had no particular Sonic.exe bullshit, plushie individuals or creepy games with deadly situations. My fingers were crossed as I opened my laptop and inserted the CD, deciding I would watch edgy Batman movies later.
So I installed this game and while I waited I looked over some particular pictures of me and Kyle during our gaming vacation in Seattle. That good looking bastard individual always loved taking his particular GBA with him whenever we went on swimming situations in the ocean late at night. He thought it was boring to just swim when there's no light outside, he always said that playing Pokemon Red and Blue always helps you kill time. That remark broke my heart, because we all know that Sonic Advance 3 was the best game for the GBA, but I forgot to argue with him about it. Maybe I should bring it up the next time we head up to the sauna.
Eventually the fucking slow as hell game finally installed itself, announcing me with a simple 'bing!', and when it did I was busy checking the size of the particular bananas that my mom had bought for me. They're always tastier with chocolate cream and Sunny D. Remembering the individual game, (which honestly is the very reason I'm writing this now, ladies and gentlemen) I rushed out of the kitchen, the towel around my waist dropping when I was halfway from my laptop, but it's not like I needed it since I lived all alone in my particular dorm room. (No other bothersome individuals to bother me while I play my hacked Sonic games, yay!) On my desktop were an image of Sonic and Sally making out, my homework folder which I have yet to open, my stories folder, my private folder that I only share with Kyle, and the icon of the game itself. The symbol of a yellow ring and the word "SONIC.EXE" capitalized. I groaned. If Kyle was getting us into trouble again with horror game situations and plushie individuals, I was going to beat him up in a very particular way.
I clicked on it; a particularly small black rectangle appeared, showing the image of the red clouded sky from Stardust Speedway's Bad Future situation. The load bar eventually spelled "I AM GOD". I rolled my eyes, thinking that the last thing I wanted was to face this shit situation again. The white SEGA screen appeared, but the Sega choir prolonged itself and became a bit distorted at the end. Then I was greeted with the Sonic 1 title screen, which played normally, except the last 6 notes of the intro song repeated themselves 3 times and the title screen became dark red one for a split second before cutting to black. I was greeted with the character select of Sonic.exe, the same fucking character individuals even. Normally I would have been scared shitless, but in this particular individual situation honestly I was becoming fed up with the antics of this fucking edgy deviantart Sonic. Why can't he just leave me and Kyle alone?! We just want to play games together in peaceful situations!
"I'm not playing your games today, Sonic.exe!" I angrily shouted and accessed Task Manager, managing to manually close the game.
Heh, I wonder how pissed off that particular demonic looking hedgehog individual was when I did that. After all, if you don't give in to his traps he won't be in the situation where he gets power over you or your computer. Kyle would be so proud of me. Speaking of whom, I decided to call him and ask about the particular second CD he gifted me with. I tapped my foot and walked in circles as my phone rang in that situation.
"Hello, Tom!" a growled voice eventually answered, petrifying me.
"Wh-who are you?" I stuttered, in utter shock.
"Ready for round 2?" the growled voice continued.
"Oh no, no, NO!" I shook my head in disbelief. "Where's Kyle?!"
"He's right here with me. If you want to see him again in one piece, you'll do as I say and play the damned game!" the creature demanded.
"No, Tom, it's a trap! Don't pl..." Kyle's desperate voice was then silenced.
"This is your last chance, PLAY IT!" Sonic.exe demanded and hung up.
I don't know what came over me. In the next moment I dropped the phone on my untidy bed, put on my towel, took my chainsaw and ran all the way to Kyle's room. Some guys were giving me weird looks, but I ignored them.
"Hey Tom, the hell's wrong with you?!" one of them asked.
"Kyle's in trouble, I've got to save him!" I responded in a nutshell and then in the next particular moment I barged into Kyle's room.
The situation inside horrified me. A tall anthropomorphic hedgehog with grayed blue fur, a red X on its chest, black BDSM suit with spikes, sharp yellowed fangs and trademark black and red eyes stood there in a particular way, holding an individual whom I identified as Kyle by the throat.
"No..." I murmured with fear. "You're... REAL?!" I shouted.
"Hey there, bucko!" the creature greeted me with its growled voice which now developed a particular Brooklyn accent. "How about you and your friends join me down there in my game? They all float down there!"
"Tim Curry, is that you?" I raised my eyebrow in confusion.
"I could be if you want me to. But you may call me X." Sonic.exe revealed his real name and chuckled maliciously. "So what do you say? Shall we go to my world now, or do you want me to do you the hard way?"
Before I could respond, I heard some particular screams from behind and I glanced to see all the individuals in the dorm looking horrified at the hyperralistic situation I was in.
"What the hell is that?!" a guy pointed at the monster.
"Someone call the police!" another shouted.
"Or an exorcist!" a third added.
"Hey Tom, you look nice in a towel!" a hot dark blonde looking like Jessica Alba complimented me, causing me to blush.
I heard Kyle mumble something and I turned to see a particular angry look on the individual's face. But I understood him; nobody liked Jessica Alba after Fantastic Four.
"Enough of this foolishness!" X stomped his foot, causing all individuals in that situation to turn their attention to him. "I'll kill you all! Haha, I'll drive you crazy and I'll kill you all! I'm every nightmare you've ever had, I am your worst dream come true, I'm everything you ever were afraid of!"
"Go back to furaffinity, It!" Kyle managed to speak and bit his arm, causing him to drop the individual.
That gave me an idea. Turning on the chainsaw, I bravely approached the situation with the particular monstrous Sonic individual, and I shouted:
"THIS IS A STAR SABER CHAINSAW, YOU SLIME!"
X screamed out his pain as I shoved my chainsaw down his groin, causing liters upon liters of hyperrealistic blood to stain the room's particularly clean walls. When I turned off the electric weapon, the hedgehog creature individual was gone for good. Kyle hugged me hard, thanking me for saving his life again. The entire crowd applauded us for that situation and the campus security forgave my usage of the chainsaw.
Later that night, I had Kyle over by my room. Together we destroyed the CD once again, doing a blood vow to destroy every Sonic.exe game that ever surfaces again. Then we had a nice mac and cheese dinner. Unfortunately he didn't like my canned chili because it had no cheese. When we were done eating, we played a new game I found called "Sonic Dreams Collection" and we had tons of fun.
Now Kyle's sleeping in my bed as I'm in the situation of typing this story to warn you all about the danger that is X and his particular games. Before I go to take another shower, I also want to bring up a particular individual known as Yuriofwind on Youtube who keeps mocking my claims and has been saying over the years that I'm bullshitting everyone. FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE! MY WRITING CAREER IS RUINED BECAUSE OF YOU!
Anyway, I'm off to clean myself now because Kyle had made me all dirty. He said that he has something very important to tell me tomorrow. Peace out, guys!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Sonic
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:BATTELS