Ink

Not to be confused with Printer Ink, which is almost as good and thousands of times more expensive.
Ink is a liquid with a strong colour used for writing and printing. It can turn invisible whenever it detects that you have a term paper or other important document to print. 
==Origin==
Ink was traditionally extracted from octopuses, who use it to camouflage their nests, feed their young and annoy people who snorkel. The importance of ink in an increasingly literate society made the octopuses highly valuable, and they were even used as currency in some parts of the world, most notably Japan. Large octopus farms were constructed to handle the ever-increasing demand, and many families living by lakes, rivers or the sea kept an octopus as a pet to remain self-sufficient in times of war.
Apart from that, an old legend states that in old times, people carried cows with them. As the story told, beef was yet another great ink producer. Of course, this is nothing more than a myth and is yet to be proven. Currently, scientists are wasting millions of dollars to try and make this a fact, even though we all know that if it is true, it's still going to be a useless fact
and the moon is red and orange and green
==The Ink Scare of the 1740s==
The octopuses (also known as octopi or fat squids) struggled to adapt to their new role. The constant milking for ink made them unable to properly conceal their young from predators, and by the early 1740s they were on the brink of extinction. The black gold dwindled ever faster. 
Not much is known of this period, since few people were willing to spend ink documenting it. The acute need for ink led to the invention of alternative sources, including a synthetic ink known as soy sauce containing equal parts of water, corn starch and darkness, and the pencil, facilitating ink-less writing for the first time since the chisel.
The pencil won out for hand writing, due to its low cost and chewy graphite. Soy sauce was reserved for formal letter-writing and masking the taste of bad fish.
==Organic ink==
In recent years, organic ink has been produced as a luxury product by a small number of independent farmers. It's produced by training the octopuses to ink into a machine which will then give it some food based on the amount of ink squirted. This allows the octopus to only give away its surplus ink, avoiding the aforementioned problems. 
Green scientists (as in ecological, not actually green) are working on a way to mix ink with hemp. This would form a sticky and hairy compound that you can write, wear and smoke, potentially at the same time.
==Invisible ink==
Invisible ink comes in a dazzling variety of colours, such as yellow, pink, and green. However, since the last 8 bits out of its 32-bit encoding are all zero, it is invisible to the naked eye, as well as to the partially-clothed eye. 
If you want to find out what someone has written in invisible ink, you can iron over the surface of your computer monitor to reveal the words. You could also threaten to iron over the head of the writer until they tell you what they wrote.
==Ink Lovers==
Many ink lovers, also known as ink enthusiasts, are fans of http://www.rapidrefillink.com 
Ink enthusiasts also know that Ink is the only independent, experienced and entertaining ticket for Honi - then again, who doesn't?
==Poisonous Ink==
It's a little know fact that over 40% of all ink manufactured is indeed poisonous, luckily most of this ink is kept at the back of office supply cupboards, the strategic placement of this ink weans out anyone who may be stealing the office supplies.
There have been many documented cases of poisonous ink being used as a murder aide, in almost all these cases an innocent man has been accused wrongly, for this reason Ms. Marple is almost always flown in by helicopter to oversee all investigating.
Category:Anti-Humorous Articles