The Secret of the Plastic Pony

This story you are about to read is a tale so horrifying that your eyeballs may commit suicide, so this is an official warning that you will likely be forever blinded afterward. 
Our story is about Dan, a 21-year-old rich prettyboy who for some reason could never get any action despite his wealth. This would all change one night or so it would seem, as will become apparent. Sick of his son whining about how much he wanted vagina and how he would be a Lord of sex if only if he could get his balls rolling, so to speak, his dad called a prostitute hotline. Promising two professionals, Dan's father was reassured that their money would be well-spent.
On arrival, Dan told the two women they would receive a large bonus if they could make him aroused enough to explode. Then he told them to take a seat because he was about to unfurl his junk. He unzipped his fly, presenting it to them, assuring them it was safe to remark at the glory of his dong and look at every inch of skin and ponder at life, for such a glorious penis is surely not but a gift? This cosmic energy they could now feel would bless them for life, and all would be good. 
They looked at the sorry state of what could barely be described as male genitalia. They looked at each other, unsure on what to do. Then they sort of clapped because they could think of nothing else. Dan took a bow and said it was their time, presenting several unusual objects in a plastic bag including a paperclip, deflated balloon and strangest of all, a little plastic Twilight Sparkle. 'Maybe he just went to Smith's and forgot he was supposed to be picking up condoms', thought Casandra, one of the prostitutes. She and Georgina stripped to their undergarments and set to work. 
Georgina started to suck Dan off while Casandra performed her famous 'five finger fillet' on herself. Alas, dear Daniel was not yet impressed enough to give them a hard-on. All the stimuli in the world seemed to be for naught until Casandra remembered the pony doll they had been given. Originally thinking of it as a wild card, she now realised all their hope for a bonus now lay in this plastic toy as it became apparent that it was the only thing that could get Dan erect. Wasting no time as she knew what to do with it by instinct, she plunged it into Dan's butthole. 
Dan's dick was laid out along the bottom of the table at this point as Georgina had been working it with the deflated balloon. His dick became so hard so fast it 'thunked' the table.
Casandra started furiously wanking Dan off while Georgena was working his butthole with the Twilight Sparkle toy. They were working very hard to get their bonus but were getting exhausted at their efforts. They would have to press on though, as Dan's little sausage could become flaccid if the stopped. Finally, Dan started moaning and it seemed the time was here.
Dan managed to cum. But it wasn't what they hoped for; instead of a vast explosion of semen, all he managed was a small dribble not fit to lightly loosen an otherwise black coffee. It splattered on the floor, if that was the word for it because it was barely visible. The two women stared at it while Dan moaned and shook as if he'd just unloaded a truckload of seamen to launch ten feet across the room, but the pile of nothing had landed an inch in front of his feet. The ladies were surprised it was even heavy enough to land and hadn't sort of floated into the airspace of the room as a sort of disappointing, weak fragrance.
Dan said he could never pleasure himself to such a high level and was incredibly satisfied at their management of his glorious penis, making him cum to the n'th degree. They felt sorry for taking the bonus but took it nonetheless. They would not be adding this job to their prostitute CV's, they agreed. 
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Trollpasta