Just Kill Yourself, Charlie Brown

I was an intern at Lee Mendelson Films in 1971. It is best known for animated works of Peanuts such as A Charlie Brown Christmas and The Great Pumpkin.
However in 1974. Me and 5 other interns were ready to watch a new special for Peanuts. It was supposed to air on CBS, but what we saw was very different from what was later broadcasted. And I mean VERY.
Man, just how I could forget about this entire experience...
The special began with Charlie Brown receiving a letter in his mailbox. Charlie Brown read the letter out loud, and it said:
Charlie Brown looked depressed with the letter and said "Good Grief, Losing your child is never a good thing."
It then went to the special's title. The title of the special was "Just Kill Yourself Charlie Brown".
As you would expect, I was really shocked. But I thought at first that this was maybe just a mishap, seeing how this looked somewhat out of place.
Afterwards, It showed Linus entering Charlie Brown's house visit him. For some reason however, Charlie Brown looked angry as if something upset him. Linus looked shocked as Charlie Brown was yelling at him, even though he didn't do anything to anger him. I was confused by this scene because he sounded like a Japanese Man shouting gibberish.
Then it cut to Mami Tomoe as seen in Puella Magi Madoka Magica (or a girl looking like her) sitting on a sofa. The strange thing was that she technically didn't exist back in 1974. And she wasn't in her anime design, She was probably modeled after Lucy Van Pelt. Then she said something that shocked us. Her voice sounded like Sharon Marsh from South Park.
She said:
"Listen up all of you, I'm about to mess you up and make everyone my slaves! I will hunt down and kill you all. Then I'll will make all of you face the kiss of death! You all must burn in hell!"
In the next shot, we saw Snoopy eating a turkey (as seen in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving) until when he heard Lucy saying "Would you like to kick my football?"
Snoopy stopped eating and ran to kick her football. After kicking her football, Snoopy bit off Lucy's arm furiously. She screamed "AAUGH!! MY ARM HAS BEEN EATEN BY A DOG!" in pain and ran off while shouting "I'M BLEEDING! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" as she was doing this Snoopy began laughing. However it didn't sound anything like his typical laughing, instead it sounded like the cryptkeeper laugh from "tales from the crypt".
Then we saw Pig-Pen at his home watching TV. He had an empty beer bottle and what looked like a porn magazine. Pig-Pen suddenly got drunk and went outside. He opened the door and said:
"Hey everyone, how are you doing? That's good. I'm going to hide and someone's is going to find me."
He left and Linus was looking for something. Then I heard laughing that sounded like Dee Dee from "Dexter's Laboratory". Linus began to feel scared. He was still looking for something until Mami Tomoe appears behind Linus.
Mami had black eyes with red pupils. She decapitated Linus with a sword. "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE A SHOWER WITH PISS?!." She yelled. She then took a piss on Linus' dead body.
The screen went to static for about 10 seconds and it shows Sally lying dead in her bathtub. Thank god she wasn't naked but the water in the tub was red like blood. When Pig-Pen arrives, he took her out of the tub and started to make out with her. More static appears on the screen again for another ten seconds.
After the static, it showed Peppermint Patty being thrown off a cliff into the ocean by Mami Tomoe with an anvil on her leg. She struggled to free himself from the anvil underwater for around a minute and drowned.
The next scene showed Charlie Brown at his desk with a letter, and a pencil. He began to write on the paper, reading out loud what he was writing.
"I can't take it anymore," he said.
"My life has been horrible and hasn't gotten better. At this point, my life sucks so badly, that I have no other choice than to end it all."
"Well, for Linus. He's my best friend but he's no longer with me and for his sister Lucy, she had her hand bitten off by my dog Snoopy and she died of blood loss."
"So if my suicide affects anyone negatively, I apologize in advance. Lastly, I must thank all my family and friends for the support they have given me throughout my time here. Goodbye. - Charlie Brown"
Charlie Brown finished writing and there is no noise after that, except for him saying "Farwell...".
Then he hanged himself on the noose resulting his suicide. The letter he wrote was pinned on the wall as well. Shortly after, Snoopy then appeared. When he discovered the body of Charlie, he gave a blank expression and immediately walked away.
It went to the credits and they were in Japanese. A distorted version of Linus and Lucy played. Then it finally ended...
The other interns were shocked. Some were pissed off. I was just speechless. Two of the interns claimed to have seen an image that flashed on screen for a frame or two at the end of the credits, though neither of them could make out what it was. We agreed to rewind the footage to see if this was true. And sure enough, it was. The image was a photo showing Mami Tomoe standing in front of a pitch black background. She was holding a large sign that said in red letters "36年でお会いしましょう！！" which means "See you in 36 years!!". What happened next was TERRIFYING!!
We saw a girl portrayed as Mami Tomoe burst through the room. She had a handgun in one of her hands. She came for us while shouting: "私はハードファック！". She shot her gun all over the place. However, me and the other interns thankfully got away unharmed.
The Japanese girl actually was a psychopath who created this awful movie. The reason why it was made due to the death of Deborah Gail Stone in Disneyland. The psychopath later got a life sentence in prison for a murder charge unrelated to the episode.
Anyway, 36 years later in 2011 (the year when PMMM came out), I was just resting on the couch watching TV, when suddenly, I heard a voice that sounded like Mami Tomoe. It whispered:
"チャーリーの人生は終わった。 私にとってこれを面白くしておくようにしてください。"
I looked back and what I saw was horrifying.
What I saw was a Mami Tomoe doll soaked in blood, with a knife in its hand, a creepy grin, and eyes black with red pupils.
There was also a note on the wall which read:
"お前は次の犠牲者です。エルモは君を狩ります。悪魔を称賛する。"
In English, It means:
"You are the next victim. Mami Tomoe will hunt down you. Praise the devil."
I immediately ripped the note into half and threw the doll out of the window.
The end.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Suicide
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:I CAN HAZ TRANSLATION?