/tech/

The crazy /tech/ wizards down the road joined the fray as one of the first expansion teams for the 2015 Winter Cup. Brandishing the flag of everything /tech/, the /tech/nicians intended to adamantly outscore every team until they installed Gentoo. Despite their wishy-washy performance, /tech/ had an overall decent run in their first ever infinity cup, being one of the four expansion teams to reach the quarterfinals. One should keep an eye out for their lethal attack duo of Steve Jerbs and Heckert which have scored 11 out of /tech/s 12 goals. /tech/ will surely rise to the occasion in the upcoming 2016 Summer Cup if their strikers can find those risky long-balls and their defense isn't as weak.
== History ==
===Infinity Cup II===
/tech/ began the tournament against the ready to disappoint, /tg/ squad. The match quickly turned into a meme-ball fest, both teams flinging long balls throughout the entirety of the match, the fans unable to celebrate until a goal finally came in the 53rd minute from Steve Jerbs. Steve Jerbs once more scored in the 63rd minute, /tech/ begun celebrating their first ever win until /tg/ decided to rain on their parade. CREEEEEEED found the net in the 77th minute putting /tg/ back on the match. The meme-ball continued until the 90th minute, all pointing towards a narrow win by /tech/ until Muscle Wizard slotted the ball in the dying seconds of the match ensuring both teams left with a measly point. On the other side of the group, /k/ had come from a 3-0 win against the /pol/tards, the stormfront getting ready to pound /tech/ if they wanted to remain alive in the cup. However, /tech/ rose to the occasion, with 1-3 win against /pol/ sending them back home prematurely with still one match to play. /k/ had won once more ensuring their survival of the groupstage, yet /tg/ was still in the race. If /tg/ could beat /pol/ and /tech/ did not win against /k/ then /tech/ would be packing its bags with the stormfags. Ivan Chesnekov scored the 20th minute but Heckert had other plans scoring in the 45th minute before the half-time bell. Zergface scored another in the 60th minute yet /tech/ responded quickly with another Heckert goal in the 66th. If both teams tied they would both make it to the next round, and while this level of hotpocketeering would've raised a few eyebrows, Zergface had enough of this shit and decided to score in the 90th minute. It was all up to the meme-ball gods now, but /tg/ was quick to disappoint by losing 0-3 against the already eliminated /pol/ squad, therefore ensuring /tech/s 2nd place in the group.
/tech/ was to face /senran/ in the round of 16, and once again /tech/ begun the match by conceding against LIFE in the 21st minute. /tech/ wasn't about to let some waifufags send the packing so they quickly reverted the score with two quick goals in the 45th and 56th minute. Panic struck /senran/ yet LIFE found the net again in the 80th minute. Extra time was looming large as it had happened to /just/ and /hebe/ but Steve Jerbs wasn't about to let some sweatshop material send them home, finding the net in the 85th minute. /tech/ got its golden ticket to the quarterfinals where they would face the finalist to be, /tv/. /tv/ wasn't in any playing mood though, blowing /tech/ the fuck out with a 6-2 win. All at the hands, well feet, of two players: Stannis and Jean Luc Picard.
==Roster==
Main Article: /tech/ Roster. 
===Roster stats===
Player 	Matches Played	Career Goals	Career Assists	Man of the Match
Botnet 	4 	0 	1 	0
Dennis Richie 	4 	0 	0 	0
3.5 GB 	4 	0 	0 	0
Linux 	3 	0 	0 	0
Lennard Poetering	3 	0 	0 	0
Beastie 	3 	0 	0 	0
Jim Keller 	2 	0 	0 	0
rm - rf/ 	1 	0 	0 	0
Uriel Pereira 	5 	0 	0 	0
Ken Thompson 	4 	0 	0 	0
Housefires 	4 	0 	0 	0
Woodscrews 	3 	0 	0 	0
Linus Torvaldis 	5 	0 	3 	0
Install Gentoo 	5 	1 	0 	0
Terry Davis 	2 	0 	0 	0
Comp Sci Grad 	3 	0 	0 	0
Mark Zuckerberg 	2 	0 	0 	0
No Drivers 	0 	0 	0 	0
Heckert 	5 	6 	2 	0
Steve Jerbs 	5 	5 	3 	2
Unknown 	0
Opponent own goals	0
Total Goals: 	12
===Goalkeeper stats===
Keeper 	Matches Played	Goals Conceded	Keeper Coefficient	Man of the Match
Stallman 	4 	11 	2.75 	0
System D 	1 	2 	2.00 	0
Steve Palmer	0 	0 	0.00 	0
===Formation===
==Match history==
Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers
Category:TeamsCategory:Infinity Cup II teamsCategory:Dormant Teams