HELLO WHO IS THIS

It was late at night when I entered my apartment. I just got back from work and I was feeling dead tired. The warmth of the room was an immensely nice feeling, especially since it had been quite a cold night. I dropped my bag on the floor near the door and fell back onto the sofa, embracing its soft comfort. I realized it was unusually quiet in the apartment, especially considering how loud my roommate, Eliana, was. I figured she was out at a party somewhere, like she tends to be. Just to make sure, I grabbed my phone and texted to she where she was. Afterwards, I turned on the television but was unfortunately greeted with static. I tried changing channels but there was nothing but static. Though, while trying to find a channel, I was feeling quite sleepy. The combination of the soft couch and droning static, as well as my exhaustion from work, was making me nod off. Finally, I decided to stop fighting and fell asleep on the couch, leaving the television static to flicker in front of me.
I was suddenly jolted awake by a loud ringing noise. I quickly looked around and saw a rotary phone on the kitchen table. Confused, I got up from the couch and walked towards the phone, which continued to ring. I looked upon it, curious as to where this possibly could have come from. As I examined the phone, there were no wires of any sort connected to it, and yet it was still ringing. Rubbing my eyes, I picked up the receiver and asked, "Hello...?"
There was no answer for a moment, but as I continued to listen, I heard the very faint sound of thuds on the other line. When the thuds stopped, sounds of what sounded like dinner plates shuffling began.
"Hello? Who is this?" I asked again.
Suddenly the sounds completely went silent. I stayed on the line for quite a bit, with no other sounds could be heard. Thinking how absurd this all was, I was about to hang up when I started hearing another sound, though this one was louder than the previous ones. It was a squeaking sound, as if someone was rubbing their hand firmly across glass. Then I heard a voice say,
"Not this time..."
The voice sent a bit of a chill through my spine as my whole body suddenly felt cold. I quickly hung up and started to sweat a bit. I was not exactly sure why the voice suddenly made me feel this way, but I felt like I had to catch my breath. I then felt a warm, wet sensation on my lip and pressed my fingers against it. My nose had started bleeding.
Walking into the bathroom, I grabbed some toilet paper and pressed it against my nostrils to stop the blood. As I did so, I looked into the mirror and saw my rather jarring reflection. Aside from the large amount of blood around my mouth from the nosebleed, my eyes had dark circles underneath and I looked rather pale. I looked like a complete mess.
When I walked back into the kitchen, I noticed that the phone was gone and in its place was a pineapple. I looked around, heavily baffled by this. I had been in the restroom for only a minute, which made the pineapple's appearance even more confusing. That confusion then turned into fear as I realized someone else must be in the apartment with me. I hurried to the kitchen drawers to get a knife to potentially defend myself but was unable to find any utensils. I was even desperate for a spoon at that point, but I could not find anything.
Fearing even more, I fished around my pockets for my phone to call for help. My eyes widened when I found my pockets were empty. I was patting myself down to find it, but my phone had suddenly disappeared. With no other option, I fled to the apartment door to try and escape. But as I reached for the doorknob, the doorknob itself started to turn. I stopped dead in my tracks and ran back towards the kitchen. I then remembered the pineapple and quickly snatched it while hiding behind the couch.
I heard the door creak open slowly while the sound of heavy steps came into the room. I clutched the pineapple close to me, preparing to use it as a makeshift weapon against the intruder. As the footsteps got closer and closer, my heart beat faster and faster.
When the intruder was about to pass by the couch, I jumped up and struck the person's head with all my might. However, when I got a good look at the intruder, it was my roommate Eliana. The look on her face was that of immense shock, as her wide-eyed gaze pierced my own. I let go of the pineapple, which I had managed to embed into the side of her head, as she fell over. Eliana started bleeding profusely out of her wound as her body spasmed. I looked in horror at what I had done until her body ceased to move.
I realized then, that my life was ruined. I had committed a murder, something I was never going to defend myself for. I covered my face with my hands and started sobbing uncontrollably. So many questions and scenarios were racing through my mind and it was all too much to take in.
I then heard rustling in the kitchen and looked to see that all the drawers were open. I staggered over have a closer look and all the kitchen utensils I had been feverishly seeking out just moments before were all there.
Then I heard a loud ringing. I turned back to the kitchen table and saw the rotary phone had returned. Shaking uncontrollably I looked at the phone, then at my dead roommate, who was lying in a pool of blood. I kept looking back and forth until I decided to just up and run. Before I stepped out the door, I took one last look at Eliana's body and then specifically at the pineapple still lodged in her head. I felt the need to take the pineapple with me, as I thought leaving it here near the ringing phone would be a bad idea.
So, with some resistance, I pulled the pineapple out of Eliana's head with a sickening crunch. I held back the need to vomit and ran out of the apartment.
I had no idea where I was going to go now, but I did not care anymore. I continued to run down the dark road, with pineapple in hand, as I heard the phone continue to ring in the distance.
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:That just raises more questions!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Trollpasta