Cybercakes

It was normal day in Cyberspace, no sign of Hacker meant no trouble. Matt was relaxing, seeing as he had nothing to do. The sound of the mailman rung through Matt's ears, as he got up to check what he got in the mail. Not a lot was in the mail, except for a note. Matt read the note, and found out it was from Digit, telling him to come make cybercakes with him. He always wanted to try Digit's cybercakes, so he decided to go for the heck of it. 
When Matt walked into Digit's house, he was immediately greeted by his host, who was hopping with glee. "I'm so glad you could make it," said the cybird.
"Sorry if I'm late, Digit. I was relaxing and lost track of time" Matt apologized.
Digit giggled and responded in a gleefully reassuring tone, "Oh that's ok, you're here now. What's a few more minutes? I've been sooo excited thinking about all fun stuff we're gonna do, I haven't stopped hopping since I woke up. I mean, I almost forgot to breathe I've been so happy."
Matt gave a slightly uncomfortable laugh. He had always appreciated Digit's friendly, outgoing way of life, but Digit's overabundant enthusiasm almost creeped him out. Matt maintained a polite expression, however. 
"So, you ready to get started, Matt? I've got everything all ready," the purple bird said.
Matt psyched himself up. "I am so excited to make Cybercakes. I hear everybody in Cyberspace loves them, and I hope to try them."
"Yep, and I made one, just for you" said the cybird, as he handed Matt a cybercake.
"So, is this like taste-testing or something?"
"Sorta," Digit said.
Matt shrugged and popped the pastry in his mouth. He chewed a bit and swallowed. Not bad. 
"OK, now what?" Matt asked.
"Now," Digit informed him, "You take a nap."
Puzzled, Matt opened his mouth but felt instantly light-headed. A wave of dizziness washed over him, the world spun, and seconds later he collapsed to the floor.
When Matt regained consciousness, he found himself in a dark room. He tried to shake his head but found that a taut leather strap held it firmly in place. He struggled to move, but braces around his chest and limbs glued him to a rack formed from a series of sturdy planks, which spread his legs wide apart. As he writhed, Digit jumped suddenly into his line of sight.
"Goodie, your awake. Now we can get started," said the cybird, as he jumped back into the darkness.
The cybird came back with a table, which was hidden by cloth. Digit uncovered the cloth revealing sharp surgical tools. 
"Eye am ready to start," joked the cybird, grabbing a scalpel.
"Wait, what are you...," but before Matt could continue, Digit stuck the scalpel into Matt's eye.
The veins in his eye in pain, as he screamed and started to sob. The cybird tugged the scalpel, almost pulling the eye out. The scalpel was now covered in blood, Matt remembered the "red filling" inside the cybercakes Digit baked, then realized it was blood inside them. Digit stabbed the eye again, this time pulling the eye out. The cybird placed the eyeball onto the table of knives, taking out a chainsaw.
"Ever heard of the movie named Saw, Matt?" asked Digit. 
The cybird proceeded to strike Matt in the stomach with the chainsaw, with Matt screaming in agony. Blood gushed out, onto the chainsaw, as Digit pulled it out. He opened up Matt's body, there were multiple organs and intestines. The cybird picked organ after organ, until there was nothing left but a heart. 
"I heart you Matt" joked Digit, pulling the heart out, ending Matt's life. "Now, I can have Matt all to myself. I can do whatever I want to him." 
He began to search for stuffing; the cybercakes could wait, Digit had a friend to make.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck