nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
It was bin day but they didn't collect my bins

Another week rolled by and once again it was bin day. I dutifully emptied my waste into the big black sacks. They sat there in the front room looking like giant rabbit poos. I'd always been terrified of rabbits. Especially rabbits covered in strawberry jam.
"Today is bin day." I said to the bin bags. "You're due to be taken away."
"Please don't make us go to the landfill." Replied the bin bags. "It's so dark and cold there."
The bin bags had been speaking to me for about 6 years now ever since my wife Barbara died. I wanted to see a doctor about it but the bin bags said if I tried they would break my legs. I use my legs pretty regularly and don't enjoy the sensation of pain, so did what they threatened me to do.
"Ok, bin bags. What do you want to do instead?"
"We wanted to go swimming!"
"Swimming!? But, you're bin bags, you can't swim."
"Yes we can. Yes we can!"
Whatever, I thought to myself. If it shuts them up it will be worth it.
So I took them down the local leisure centre and did some laps. I got a few funny looks breaking in, but thanks to Covid the pool was empty.
Now, I don't know if you've ever gone swimming with a pair of bin bags, but it's harder than it looks let me tell you. And it looks hard. Plus they stink like shit.
Anyway, once they were tired out, I put them in the sauna and left them there. If they didn't want to go to landfill, fine, but I wasn't about to keep them forever. I'm not a weirdo.
The next day or so, I'd completely forgotten about the whole thing, when who do I get knocking at my door but the police.
"Mr Ralph Rafferton?"
"Yes, that's me. How can I help you officer?"
"Well, we've found the remains of your wife in two bin bags down the local leisure centre and they claim to belong to you. Say you left them there almost a week ago now. Does that ring any bells with you?"
"I can't swim."
"Need I remind you Mr Ralph Rafferton that not putting your bins out on bin day is a very serious criminal offence. One punishable by death."
"No, you needn't remind me of anything Mr Officer, but like I said I can't swim and so would have no recourse to be down at the leisure centre swimming with a pair of bin bags containing the remains of my now dead wife. Good day!"
I shut the door. But it would only be seven more days til bin day came round again.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
It was the time of the Great Coldening

For weeks now, little Billy had stared out his window watching the leaves on the trees slowly turn brown and brittle. Finally, a great windstorm came and blew the last of them from the branches. Billy shuddered with disinterest.
"Everything looks so dead", he incarcerated.
"Yes", great grandbilly croaked dreadfully, "the Great Coldening is upon us. Unless we stay indoors and huddle around the fire, we shall soon be as skeletal as those trees!"
They stayed indoors as skies grayed and temperatures slowly dropped. One day the atmospheric water vapor began to precipitate out in solid form! It descended as white flakes that coated the land in glistening death.
"I've seen pictures of those flakes microscopically", mused great grandbilly, "on the nanoscale, they are as sharp as razor blades. If we step outside, we will surely be shredded on an atomic level!"
"But we need more wood for the fire", bloated Billy.
"We can't risk going outside", came the reply, "we will have to burn all our things for warmth. First I must block up the chimney, so none of the death flakes get into the house!"
So the pair saved themselves from wintry doom, only to die from smoke inhalation. Some say that you can still hear their tortured moans on the winter winds, especially if you drop a couple tabs of acid or chug a full bottle of cough syrup. Others desperately try to claim that none of this really happened and that the story is made up. Still others recognize the story for what it is: a shocking and twisted metaphor for a horror so odiously foul and putrescently malignant that NONE DARE SPEAK ITS NAME!!!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
It wasn't my fault, nor the ghost's, nor the ritual's, nor mom's

I broke Mom's vase; she was glaring.
"No, Mom. It's not my fault. I was possessed; it was the ghost's fault!"
Before Mom said anything, the ghost inside me yelled, "I'm not going down for this! The ritual summoned me and that's why I'm possessing you!"
Then, of course, the ritual jumped out and retorted, "shut up, you filthy spook! I only did what his mom performed me to do!"
Finally, it was Mom's turn to speak. "No one can fault me, for I did it only to have the ghost reanimate my beloved son's dead body!"
"Wait what?!?!"
Oops, didn't see that coming...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
It waz late

It waz late, I was sitting on computer and I was playing comma suddenly, out of noere I saw a person in my room's corner, he had whit jumper soakd in blod black pants sneakers and hair skin was as whit as wall, blu eyes, wich were surrounded by black and big cutet eternal smil. He hodled kichen KNIF comma! He said comma der why don't you sleep it's late come I'll pud you to sleep, then I strted fleng and he again said oo I understand you want to ply abit, kkkk let's ply hide-n-sek I'll search ,I count 10 dot 9 dot 8 dot 7 dot 6 dot 5 dot 4 dot 3 dot 2 dot 1 dot FUCK hided or not, I'm searching for yu .what was next oh wel he found me in gardn when he fund me grabbed huged me strongly holdin m hends and slowly TEAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED THROAT USING KNIF SYING:
GO
TO
SLEEP
Category:ENGLISH, MUDDAFUGGA! DO YOU SPEAK IT?!
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Jeff the Killer
Italy Secrets-Lodby

This story is a bit odd and IS true.
I recently took a trip to Naples, Italy. But, before I tell my story, I should tell you about my trading card game as it is important in this story. Well, not much to say about it, except that I created it in 1971. I have passed it down to my son, he passed it down to his son. I have a record of all 352 cards ever created.
As I was saying, I went to Naples, Italy. While there, I visited a place called Castel Dell 'Ovo. I didn't go inside, but I did explore a bit on the outside. Something white caught my eye. I looked at the ground, and what I saw shocked me. It was one of the cards that my grandson made! But how is that possible? He lives all the way in Michigan! I picked it up and read the name of the card. "Lodby". There was no card documented as "Lodby".
The back of the card confirmed it was indeed an official Figure Fighters card. It even had my grandson's signature on it for god's sake; it even said "Cra-Z Bug Games (C) 2011". It even had the official Figure Fighters icon! The little drawing on the card was black and white and depicted what looked like a rabbit of some sort with a human face. The face looked like my grandson's. It was standing on its hind legs and it was holding a burned skull.
Its only move was named çÜt. It was written in unicode. I figured it said "cut" since the ç and the Ü and the t seemed to spell out cut. But this card—who made it? And why did it have my grandson's signature? What about the human face? This card still haunts me, even though after I took it home, it mysteriously disappeared.
I hope I never see Lodby again.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Italy Tomato Sauce

What is Italy but simply a congregation of tomato sauce that escaped from the realm of the tomato sauce?
Strong and mighty, she is the stronkest of all tomato sauce clays in the somato tauce realm. All other tomato sauce clays trembled in her wake. She rose from the depths of the tomato suace, and crafted herself a nest by absorbing the other states on the Apennine peninsula, with a wish to one day bring back the greatness of the Roman Empire. Yet she is confused and scared, as she is a daughter of the tomato sauce realm and does not belong in our dimension. Canada understands this, for he too was born from a liquid. He must return Italy to where she belongs, the tomato sauce world. And the only way to accomplish that is with her own creation, the pizza, mutilated beyond recognition, to be used against its master. Banished, she shalt be, back to the realm of the tomato sauce, where she shalt live her days eating pasta
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Memes
Category:Shortpasta
Itchy's Mega Death

You know, I haven't really watched that much Simpsons. I know it so well, but I haven't got myself to watch an entire episode myself. Most of what I've watched was a bunch of steamed hams memes, so being me, I never really thought that much of it. Then, somebody gave me this email about a couple of weeks ago.
"Hey there Extreme Wreck! Say, I got this Dailymotion video when I was looking for Itchy And Scratchy shorts. I think you'd be a little interested.".
I just shrugged a bit, & moved on with my day. Then, 2 hours later, I decided, "You know what, I'll see what this Itchy And Scratchy short is about.".
I decided to click the link to see the video in question. The video started with a warning screen telling us that this is purely made by a fan, & it was made for the love of the Simpsons. Then the title card came up saying, "ITCHY'S MEGA DEATH FEATURING JACK RAZORIAN ON A UNICYCLE MADE OF PIZZA WITH A SUPER OMEGA EXTREME LAZER DEATHMOWER OF DEADLY DOOM!", which made me laugh so hard. Doesn't that title just sound ridiculous, & stupid? Oh, & guess what. It's as ridiculous as it sounds.
It starts off with Itchy chilling in his house watching TV, then suddenly the doorbell rings. He goes to answer it, in which a message is then received saying in Scratchy's voice, "Ok, after all you have done, it's time for YOU to die! You were killing me multiple times while I was innocent, & no matter what, you were always thought of as the hero. God even let you kill me for fun! What is WITH you, you MANIAC!? ARE YOU A PSYCHOPATH!? You deserve to die once, & for all, for my life, & safety from people like you. Oh, & I got Jack Razorian as well, so beware for your death shall commence!".
"Psh, easy.", said Itchy after reading that message.
Then from outside Scratchy comes in, first choking him like how Homer does it to Bart, then Jack on his pizza unicycle comes in with his lazer deathmower, & it shoots his entire face to bits. Scratchy then puts a dynamite in his body, & the body explodes. They then send his body, & head to the Moon where aliens then discover it.
It cuts to a scene where the body, & head are being served as a royal treat for the aliens, & they enjoyed the meal whole like it was the greatest meal they're ever had. The bones are then relocated to a palace where they are then outright obliterated by a huge stack of bombs. The short ends with the credits, "by OperationPizzaMaster9000".
I laughed at how ridiculous of an extra character was, & I felt that Itchy deserved all of this. Scratchy was right in that he didn't do nothing wrong. Itchy was seriously being a psychopath by killing him no matter what, & always getting his way which made me feel sad for the poor black cat who just couldn't catch a break, so seeing Itchy finally die for once was all so awesome to see happen. Scratchy can now finally live in peace from that evil moron.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Itexists

This is the remains of a horrible ritual, it is real, do not do this, IT will get you.
...
6:49 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: how long is it now?
6:50 PM - CtrlAltDefeat: done when its done
6:50 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: So it's done?
6:50 PM - CtrlAltDefeat: no
6:51 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: When
6:51 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: Derp derp
6:51 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: derp
6:51 PM - CtrlAltDefeat: ok it's here
6:51 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: ?
6:52 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: Dude is it saying anything?
6:52 PM - CtrlAltDefeat: nope
6:55 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: Is it complete?
6:56 PM - CtrlAltDefeat: Almost
6:56 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: It's real isn't it?
6:56 PM - CtrlAltDefeat: stop asking
6:56 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: K
7:03 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: Dude is it real? Can I join you?
7:03 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: ?
7:04 PM - CtrlAltDefeat: dont join plz
7:04 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: I am not
7:04 PM - CtrlAltDefeat: suprise
7:04 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: What's going on?
7:04 PM - CtrlAltDefeat: surprise.
7:05 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: Dude did you hear it?
7:05 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: There's gotta be someone or something on the sever
12:00 PM - Blu-Ray‌™: Dude?
8:00 12:00 PM – CtrlAltDefeat : He is here, and he's right behind me.
...
I just finished taking all of the memory of the computer, with my file drive, It appears they were trying to summon some monster, and according to the rest of the chat, on Minecraft.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Minecrap
Category:Rituwel
Category:Beings
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Ivory

Do you like songs? I like songs. Specifically children's songs. You know, The Rat Goes Up the Clock, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Ring Around the Rosy. Oh, I really like that last one. It's just got a nice tune to it, don't you think? Anyway, lets get on with the story.
It was an average day, I was in my room, on my laptop, listening to punk. I don't know why, but I felt the strongest urge to help some people. Being good at computers, I ask some of my friends if they need any I.T. work. Almost all of them decline, one accepts though. The only problem being they lived in another State. He tells me he'll just give me remote access.
I grinned, it was a very wide grin for me at the time. I didn't actually know why I grinned, it was just an urge like before. I didn't fight it, I just let the feeling of happiness overcome me. We connect, and I get straight to eliminating that virus. It was a pretty interesting virus, it didn't actually appear to DO anything. It just popped up lyrics to the same song, a song that would grow to be my favorite song.
It wasn't that hard to get rid of, it was highly annoying though, that song just kept popping up. But I eventually took it down. As soon as I do, my computer goes black, like I hadn't been using it for an hour or so. I move my mouse in a failed attempt at restoring my laptop to maximum quality. After a minute or so of checking through well-known tips, white letter appear on the black background.
"Ring around the rosy,
pocket full of posy,
Ashes... ashes..."
Then it shuts off. I reboot it to find that my account had changed it's name to "Ivory." I assumed this was the virus's fault. Bad assumption. I click on it and recoil, for the background is a picture of this psychotic, demon-like thing covered in blood. I eventually got the nerve to click on Firefox and look up the virus, but it wouldn't open.
My mouse moved without me controlling it, it clicked on a folder, hidden in the corner. Once the folder opened, I saw that it's name was simply "alkfoevb", just number jumbles! The mouse clicked on a word document titled "Ivory." Up popped the picture on my background, it looked different though. It seemed to be moving, the thing seemed to be breathing.
The head of it turned toward me, that wicked grin scared me half to death. The picture went completely black, and I felt something enter me. I felt the real me enter myself. Psychotic laughing echoed though my head, leaving my mouth at points, too. The sensation from earlier was inside me in its purest form. The virus left the laptop and went into me.
And thus concludes the story, so sad it had to be so short, but you see, I have things to do.
Places to be.
Webcams to watch you through.
Ring around the rosy...
Pocket full of posy...
Ashes... ashes...
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:Music
Category:Old Shit
I’ve Decided to Stop Pooping and Only Fart

I've decided to stop pooping and only fart. Pooping takes up too much time, can strike at inconvenient times, and just generally sucks. Farting is just so much more convenient, just a little toot and you're good to go. You don't have to stop and shit, don't need any throne time, and everybody stays away because you stink. I've started training my body to turn all my poop into farts by mashing it down into simple gas. My body crushes it down while I let a little air in through my butthole to get the process started. Once it starts and gets to work I can let gas out for minutes at a time. Just a steady stream of toots, enclosing me in a bubble of my own ass air. It's so great to fart and never have to poop again.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Shortpasta
JAR OF PATRIXXX

SO I OPENED DIS JAR AND IT HAD PATRIXXX IN IT AND I DIED AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:ALL CAPS
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:One sentence
Category:Im died
Category:Dronik Pastas
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Hall of Fame
JEFF'S AMAZING BUTTWINGS

ONCE UPON A TIME JEFF THE KILLER STUMBLED UPON A MAGIC LAMP. HE WISHED FOR WINGS SO HE COULD SWOOP DOWN ON PEOPLE. THE GENIE GAVE HIM A HUGE PAIR OF RAINBOW-COLORED SPARKLY WINGS ON HIS BUTT. JEFF FLEW ALL AROUND THE WORLD KILLING PEOPLE, BUT THEN THE OTHER PASTAS MONSTERS STARTED MAKING FUN OF HIS SILLY-LOOKING BUTTWINGS. JEFF STARTED HAVING LOW SELF-ESTEEM, AND DIDN'T GO OUT OF HIS HOUSE FOR DAYS. FINALLY BEN HELPED HIM GET HIS CONFIDENCE BACK, AND HE DECIDED TO GO AFTER A HANG-GLIDER. AS HE WAS ABOUT TO STAB HIM, THOUGH, HIS BUTTWINGS SUDDENLY FELL OFF AND HE HURTLED TO THE GROUND. HE FELL INTO  A CACTUS PATCH AND BEN SPENT DAYS EXTRACTING SPINES FROM HIM. BACK AT HIS HOME, THE GENIE SAID "I SEE YOU ARE NOT PLEASED WITH YOUR WISH, MASTER. MAY I GRANT YOU ANOTHER ONE?" JEFF STUFFED HIM BACK INTO HIS LAMP AND GAVE HIM THE FINGER.
THEND!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:ALL CAPS
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Shortpasta
JEFF'S FANGIRLS

JEFF WAS ON FACEBOOK AND GOT 5 CZILION MESSAGES FROM HIS FAN GIRLS. JEFF ALWAYS HAD THESE ANNOYING FAN GIRLS AND IRRITTTE HIM. SO ONE DAY, HE WROTE ON HIS TWITTER:
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
JEFFERY THE MURDERER

DER WAS DIS GUY NAMED JEFFERY HE WUZ A BOY (IT SHAYS) SO HE WASENT A MURDERER IN DA FURST PLACE BUT NAO HE IS SOO HE WAS LIK ALL STABBEH TO DEESH BULLEES SOO DA POLEECE TOT IT WUZ HIS BROTTER LOO SOO DEN JEFFEE SED IT WUZ AKTUALEE HIM SOO DEN HE KILED WUN OF DA BULLEES AT DA PARTEEE SOO THE BULLEE'S BOYFREND BURNET JEFFEE SOO DEN JEFFEE LOKED LIK VOLDERMURT SOO HE WUZ PIZZED AND KILED EVERYWUN DEN BECAM FAMUS WIT DA CREPEYPASTA WEEKEE LUVUURRS SO DEN HE MET JAN DA KILLUR WHO WUNTED TEW RAP JEFFEEE BUT HE RUNNEE TEW DA FUREEST WER HE MEET SLENDURMAN WHO WUZ JELESS OV JEFFEEE SOO THEY FOT BUT DEN JEFFEE WENT TO DA MONE DAN FURRBEERINGBRIK TROO JEFEE UNTO A SPIK WER HE TURNED INTO DIS MINDFUQ THING BUT DEN HE MEET EVETSETS UND DEY FITE BUT DEN A GUY CUMS AND JEFEE SPITS ASSID AT HIME SO DEN DA PERSUN TROES JEFEE AT DA WALLE SO DEN JEFEE TORNZ TEW NURRMUL DEN HE BLEW UP ALOT OF SHAT AND DEN EVETSETS ATAKED HIM SO DEN JEFEE GROO A BEERD DEN A SEWPERNUVA BLOO UP DA UNEEVEERSE SO DEN JEFEE AND EVEREEWUN ELSSSS WUZ REZURREKTED INTEW DA NEEXT UNEEVEERSE SOO DEN DEY LIVEDED HAPPEE EVUR AFTAR
UNTIL JEFEE CREETED NUTTER SEWPERNOVAS AND HE MAD DIS MAKINEE AND DEN 200000000000000000000000000000 SKELETUNS POOPED OT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111119291(!)!!!!!!!!
iDEN FANNYMOTH WENET AL LIK 0)_(0 UND DEN EVETS FELETED A RUCK SOO DEN EVEREEEWUN DIE CUZ NOO TWYLITE BUK CUM OT FULLOOED BI JB'S NOO ALBUME
AND DUNT LUK BEEHEINS YOO ORE YOOLE SEA EEDWURD FRUM TWYLITE NACKED!! BEEWARE HEE ISH SPARKLEE FAIREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!1ONESHIFTONE
DEN A CLOWN STURTED HAMPIN EEDWURD CUZ EEDWURD GAI AND DE CLONN TOT HE WUZ A GURL
Category:Trollpasta
Category:ALL CAPS
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Crappy ms paint drawings
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
JEFF AND THE INFLATABLE SHEEP

ONE DAY JEFF GOT A SPECIAL PACKAGE IN THE MAIL. INSTEAD OF CONTAINING THE EXPENSIVE MACHINE GUN HE HAD SENT FOR WEEKS AGO, IT CONTAINED AN INFLATABLE SHEEP. "WHAT SORT OF SICK JOKE IS THIS?!" HE SAID. THEN SUDDENLY THE SHEEP INFLATED ON ITS OWN, AND ANOTHER INFLATABLE SHEEP CAME OUT OF ITS MOUTH. IT SELF-INFLATED TOO.
"W-WHAT IS THIS?!" HE SAID, SLACK-JAWED, AS THE SHEEP MULTIPLIED. SOON THEY FILLED THE ROOM. SUDDENLY, THEY GREW FANGS AND THEIR EYES GLOWED RED, AND THEY ATTACKED HIM! JEFF TRIED POPPING THEM WITH HIS KNIFE BUT EVEN MORE EVIL BLOW-UP SHEEP SHOWED UP AS SOON AS ONE WAS RUPTURED! WITHIN MINUTES, HE WAS DROWNING IN THEM. "NOOOOO!!!!" HE SCREAMED.
AND THEN HE WOKE UP WITH A HORRIBLE HANGOVER. THAT WAS THE LAST TIME HE'D EVER GO DRINKING WITH THE SWIRLY-HEAD MAN, THAT'S FOR SURE.
THEND!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:ALL CAPS
Category:Shortpasta
JEFF FINDS OUT I HAVE BEEN WRITING PARODYS OF HIM!

THIS ONE TIME, JEFF WAS ON TROLLPASTA WIKI AND WAS LOOKING AT THE LIST AND SAW ALL THE PARODYS I (AND OTHERS) HAVE WRITEN ABOUT HIM. HE WAS MAD AND DESIDES TO HAUNT ME DOWN. BUT HE NEVER FIND- C.BKCJHCVXGTYJYVGCVJJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNM 
Hello, if your reading this then I'm here to tell every one on troll pasta wiki to stop making these parodys of me or I will find you and kill you just like what I did to urbankiller135 here. The spin offs on the Creepypasta were getting out of hand but THESE! They are making me look like a complete idiot! So if any parodys are writen about from now on. Well, you don't want to know. Hey, this remindes me of that one time where I sent a message to all my readers! I forgot the name of the story though. Any way NO MORE JEFF PARODYS!
Yours truly, Jeffery T. Killer.
Auther's note:This is a "Jeff is back parody" so don't take it seriously.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:Im died
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta