Movie Trailer Announcer Guy

THE FOLLOWING PREVIEW HAS BEEN PASSED FORALL AUDIENCESBY THE MINISTRY OF TRUTH.
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In a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success...
“I've been waiting forever to see this movie. It's gonna be the bomb!”
:~ Bob
Six friends will see The Uncyclopedia Movie, the hottest movie of the summer...
“A duck, a priest, a rabbit, and a rabbi walk into a bar --”
:~ Jeff
“Hey, shut up, man, the previews are starting!”
:~ Fred
But one man... will provide his voice in innumerable trailers...
“Hey, that's the same guy who did the Scream trailer!”
:~ Fred
“No, it's not! It's Don Pardo, I think.”
:~ Oscar Wilde
“Actually, I think it's Rod Roddy.“
:~ Jeff
“Rod Roddy's dead!“
:~ George
“That's not Rod Roddy, now shut up already!!!!“
:~ Fred
His name is Don LaFontaine....
He has been doing...
movie trailer voiceovers
for over 40 years...
and nothing will stand in his way.
“Except being DEAD!“
:~ That Guy
“I swear, it's the guy from that other movie trailer!“
:~ Fred
“Shut up, I'm trying to watch this preview!“
:~ Oscar Wilde
“You always know how to ruin a good movie-going experience!“
:~ Johnny
“Yeah, party-pooper!“
:~ Josh
Also known as...
"The King of Movie Trailers"...
"Mr. Throat"...
"Golden Throat"...
"Sore Throat Bloke"...
"The Tectonic Faultline"...
"Deepthroat"...
"The Megaphone"...
"Thunder Throat"...
"The Voice of God"...
"James Earl Jones"...
His credits include such trailers as...
Friday the 13th...
 Halloween...
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers...
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers...
Halloween 6: The Revenge and Return of Michael Moore...
Pink Flamingos...
Halloween 6 ½: The Return of Shrek and the Revenge of Mike Myers...
Bad Mama Jama Busts Out...
The Terminator...
Terminator 2: Judgment Day...
Terminator 3: Rise of My Machine...
Blue Ice...
Dr. Strangelove...
Dr. Strangelust...
Halloween: Ren's Erection...
Young Hot Latinas 7...
The Godfather...
Chicken Run...
Chick 'n' Buns...
Daddy Day Care...
Lord of the G-Strings...
Batman...
He has even parodied himself in those Geico commercials...
“You've seen that Geico commercial, right?“
:~ Fred
“Shhhhh!“
:~ Oscar Wilde
BUT SOON HIS TRUE IDENTITY WILL BE REVEALED!
“I'm gonna find out who this guy is!“
:~ Fred
“You know where the Movie Trailer Announcer Guy is, don't you? Don't you!!If you don't answer me, then say hello to my little friend...“
:~ Fred
As Hollywoodmakes even more moviesfor Don LaFontaine to deal with...
“Yes, I do! Please don't shoot me!!!“
Fred Epstein... 
will go on a relentless adventure... 
to find Don LaFontaine... 
and prove to his friends... 
that Don... 
is not...
Rod Roddy!
Meanwhile, Don's voice will BOOM in an ominous drone...
“I don't think I'm gonna make it out of here alive.“
:~ Fred
This Summer...
Two men will let their voices be heard...
ONCE and FOR ALL!!!
“Run for your lives!!!“
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MOVIE TRAILER ANNOUNCER GUY
One man, and his quest to sound really, really baritone.
Rated R for Really, Really, Absurd.
 
For those obsessed withso-called-experts, Wikipedia has anarticle about:Don LaFontaine.
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