Fully Dilated (episode)

It's a pre-warp society undercover Girls Trip!
==Summary==
===Teaser===
:"Captain's log, stardate 59499.6. The Cerritos has been sent to repair yet another dimensional fissure picked up by a Starfleet observation buoy. Apparently, a purple alternate universe version of the Enterprise crossed into our reality while battling some evil clones of Tasha Yar, or something. I can't keep track."
The USS Cerritos drops out of warp in a small debris field near another quantum fissure that the ship is being sent to close. On the bridge, Captain Carol Freeman watches footage of the purple passing through the fissure back to its own alternate reality. Commander Jack Ransom comments that this is the third fissure that the Cerritos has sealed up this week and they're getting pretty good at this. Lieutenant junior grade Beckett Mariner is disappointed that they missed the chance to see the purple Enterprise, while Freeman notices that D'Vana Tendi and T'Lyn both seem to be pretty at home at the science station and suggests that it might be time for her to finally fill the senior science officer position. Excited, Tendi offers to brief the bridge crew on the similarities between all of these rifts, but Freeman wants to wait until she selects a senior science officer, revealing that T'Lyn has also expressed an interest in the position and Freeman has to make a decision. Sam Rutherford, now sporting a beard, notes that it makes sense that T'Lyn applied to as the Vulcan officer is pretty into science. Tendi worries that T'Lyn is competing with her, but Rutherford doubts it and suggests that Tendi just talk to her, but Tendi rejects the idea.
Brad Boimler detects a Starfleet power signature on Dilmer III and Freeman orders the crew to belay closing the rift. Ransom realizes that the crew of the purple Enterprise left something behind which Freeman states they must retrieve before it disrupts the technological evolution of the Dilmerians. Lieutenant Shaxs complains because it's "taquito night", but Freeman intends to send the lieutenants to handle it for that very reason. Mariner is excited for a moment about the undercover mission, before realizing what Shaxs said, causing her to complain that she wants taquitos, too. While Mariner can just replicate some when she gets back, it's just more fun to be there for all of the dancing and singing.
===Act One===
On the Cerritos, now in orbit of Dilmer III's moon, Dr. T'Ana performs cosmetic surgery on Tendi, T'Lyn, and Mariner, complaining that "I didn't go to Starfleet Medical for a costume party. I'm a doctor, not whatever the bleep this is." Mariner notes that Dilmer III is a pre-industrial civilization, so they need to make sure that the locals don't see them or any of their technology. T'Ana sarcastically wishes them luck with all of the livestock and the smell, worrying T'Lyn as she is particularly sensitive to odor. Tendi suggests that T'Lyn stay on the ship as Tendi can probably handle any science that comes up, but Mariner is enthusiastic about the idea of "a fun, alternate dimension technology recovery girls' trip." T'Ana offers to cauterize T'Lyn's scent receptors, which she accepts.
In the transporter room, Boimler and Rutherford drink elaborate micheladas and Boimler compliments his friend's beard. Rutherford has been getting a lot of compliments, while Boimler, on the other hand, hasn't been for his patchy beard. The girls enter and quickly realize that Boimler is once again imitating his alternate reality counterpart, which both Mariner and Tendi warn them against. Boimler and Rutherford reveal that Dilmer III's planetary core creates a spacetime differential resulting in time dilation. For every second on the Cerritos, a week will pass for the away team on the surface, which Tendi compares to the planet that the visited. Boimler and Rutherford have disguised a return beacon as a necklace and when it starts to flash, the girls need to get where the locals can't see them beam out. As Boimler beams them out, he takes a drink and gets shrimp in his eye. As a result, Boimler accidentally drops his michelada and knocks Rutherford's out of his hand, causing the drinks to spill all over the transporter console. The moment they realize what just happened, Boimler and Rutherford scream in horror.
Mariner, Tendi, and T'Lyn appear on a hillside and Mariner detects the purple Enterprises technology two kilometers to the north. T'Lyn suggests that they make haste before the locals discover it, but Tendi points out that technically whatever it is crashed years before in planetary time, meaning that if it hasn't been found by now, then it probably won't be. However, Mariner agrees with T'Lyn that they can't take any chances with the Prime Directive, causing Tendi to complain about T'Lyn always being right. Tendi is amazed by the pre-industrial village, but Mariner warns her not to make anyone suspicious. The trio is approached by Snell, who invites them to the night's bonfire, but they brush him off and move on, making Snell suspicious.
The trio follows the signal out of town and past a dilapidated and abandoned house to a large crater strewn with shuttlecraft debris, most of which were presumably destroyed by the impact. Mariner and Tendi begin using phasers to vaporize the debris so as to ensure that none of the locals stumble across whatever they can't carry out. T'Lyn finds the source of the power signature: Lieutenant Commander Data's severed head, which survived the crash and is purple too. Tendi guesses that the Enterprise must've come from "a slightly more purple dimension." Having followed them to the crater, Snell demands to know what the trio is up to and why he hasn't seen them in town before. T'Lyn lies that they're from the northern region, and Snell guesses that they're from Slarno. T'Lyn juggles some rocks as proof of her claim that they're a traveling troupe of performers. Snell is amazed by the juggling and successfully fooled, although obviously not pleased as he leaves. T'Lyn admits that it was her first time juggling, and the impressed Mariner asks her about it while Tendi watches with obvious jealousy.
At the hillside, the return beacon has yet to go off and the girls have been waiting for hours for Boimler to beam them out. T'Lyn and Mariner guess that Boimler has been distracted, probably by his counterpart's PADD again, and decide to crash in the abandoned house for the night. Tendi wonders what could've possibly happened in an empty transporter room since they had literally just seen Boimler with the time dilation.
In the transporter room, Boimler and Rutherford continue to panic; the controls won't work under all of the michelada, causing a delay they couldn't afford. Boimler frantically removes his shirt and begins trying to wipe up the mess. Dilmerian months pass in the seconds that they talk about the situation and Rutherford quickly takes off his own shirt to help Boimler.
Four months after their arrival, the girls have repaired the dilapidated house, and a bored Mariner complains about not having a holodeck, while Tendi returns from another fruitful day of scanning indigenous plants. Mariner guesses that they're probably going to be stuck here for a while and Tendi admits that she's trying to bolster her chances at the senior science officer position. Mariner compares the situation to the time that Captain Jean-Luc Picard got tricked into thinking that he was a family man by the Kataan probe and lived out a full life over course of 20 to 25 minutes, which she feels would be better than the life that she's currently living. Tendi inspires Mariner to try to live the same kind of life while they're stuck on Dilmer III, and T'Lyn returns with the news that she has harvested grain and ground it into flour with the windmill that she built while conducting a study on indigenous agriculture. As Mariner tries to leave, she finds Snell lurking outside trying to listen in on them. Mariner tells him that they liked the town, so they moved in and whacks Snell with a broom until he leaves. "Why is there always a suspicious lurker when you're in a Carbon Creek situation?" complains Mariner. Mariner leaves, but not before complimenting T'Lyn's windmill. Without a word to the Vulcan, Tendi goes upstairs.
That night, Tendi works on Data's head, complaining to herself about the windmill. Using a hand-cranked power source, Tendi successfully powers up Data, who introduces himself, and Tendi returns the favor. Tendi explains the situation to Data, who asks if his shuttle crash is why he no longer has a body. Tendi confirms it, telling the android that they had looked around, but she thinks that the rest of Data's body got burned up in the crash. However, Data isn't worried as he has been just a head before. As long as it doesn't require hands, feet, or torso, Data agrees to answer Tendi's questions about science.
Outside, Snell spies on Tendi and Data from a tree.
===Act Two ===
Having been filled in completely, Data asks if Tendi trusts that Boimler will eventually transport her back to the Cerritos, which Tendi confirms, guessing that Boimler had probably just fallen over or something. Data notes that in the interim, Tendi is concerned that T'Lyn is a more capable science officer. Tendi admits that while it shouldn't matter as they're both capable, she'd be extremely proud to do it as Orions aren't usually science officers. Sympathetic to Tendi's situation as the only android who has ever served on a Starfleet bridge, Data promises to help her with her studies, as he knows how difficult it is to be the first. Data is also impressed by the fact that Tendi has devised a way to power his positronic matrix using a hand crank.
At the local bar, Mariner gets a drink and begins looking for someone dopey and trustworthy to become a lifelong friend. Mariner slides down to another patron, but her efforts to befriend him fail as Mariner accidentally pokes the Dilmerian in the eye with her prosthetic horn. Mariner awkwardly tries to apologize and defuse the situation, but she is imprisoned for assault. "Not cool, man. I need to live a rich and meaningful life. Who knows when Boimler's gonna get his bleep together," Mariner complains.
In the transporter room, Boimler and Rutherford continue their frantic efforts to clean off the console using their shirts. However, the fabric is only absorbing some of the stuff, and there's nothing in the room to clean it with because food isn't allowed, and a horrible goo is being left behind as a result. Desperate, the two begin licking it up, receiving a repeated mild shock in the process.
Seven months after their arrival, Data experiences a power fluctuation and has Tendi adjust the voltage stabilizer. There is now a water wheel outside that is providing hydroelectric power to charge Data's battery, something that he's sure will impress her captain as much as it does him. Tendi quickly covers up Data as T'Lyn knocks on the door holding some giant grapes. As they are in need of currency, the Vulcan is going to sell their Dilmerian produce at the market. Tendi refuses T'Lyn's offer to go with her, and T'Lyn shows her that she has also grown giant melons too big to carry through the door. T'Lyn isolated certain traits and accelerated growth with local fertilizers to create her giant fruit. As Tendi has spent twenty consecutive days isolated with her water wheel, T'Lyn suggests that companionship would serve her well, but Tendi brushes her off. Data points out that T'Lyn is obviously concerned for her well-being, but Tendi is upset that she can't compete with T'Lyn and her giant produce. Data suggests that T'Lyn has simply had more hours to work on her horticulture because Vulcans rarely require sleep. Somewhat manically, Tendi decides to stop sleeping in order to catch up, which was not a concerned Data's intention.
In the market, Snell spots T'Lyn pulling a cart full of giant produce while Mariner is finally released from prison after two months, complaining that it's Edo-level bullshit. Spotting Snell lurking nearby, Mariner tells him to go sneer at someone else. T'Lyn asks Mariner to help her, but Mariner is only concerned with building a perfect life for herself. In an attempt to become a valuable member of the community, Mariner grabs a grape and uses it to put out a fire across the square, thinking that the fire is dangerous. However, Mariner instead extinguishes the Dilmerians' eternal flame, which they use to ward off dark spirits. Furious, the Dilmerians return Mariner to prison.
In the transporter room, Boimler and Rutherford's disgusting and painful attempt to clean off the console with their tongues is working.
Ten months after arrival, the house now has a windmill, a water wheel, and greenhouses for T'Lyn's produce business. Data wakes up a sleeping Tendi, who he had let fall asleep despite being told otherwise because she had needed sleep. Tendi has been working around the clock to build her own transporter, and Data tells her not to be too hard on herself, recalling that he'd struggled to build an electromagnetic field core while he was trapped in 19th century San Francisco. Data had gotten back to his own time by waiting in a cave until Picard, himself, and "some guy in a silver jumpsuit" dug Data out. Tendi takes Data in a satchel to shop for something that can boost the power conduits on her transporter, ignoring his suggestion of getting some more sleep instead.
Tendi searches the market for some minerals that she can use, with Data pointing out that it's cavalier of her to bring him along in the satchel, but Tendi wasn't willing to leave Data behind with Snell still poking around. Tendi is shocked to discover that T'Lyn now runs her own thriving business out of a kiosk and berates her for breaking the Prime Directive by selling advanced medicine. However, T'Lyn reveals that she is instead selling beauty products, having discovered a natural protein filament enhancer by boiling the skin of the shnoop fruit. This has given the Dilmerians an improved appearance and confidence, T'Lyn has improved the Dilmerians' lives without breaking any protocols, and the Starfleet officers are also now rich.
In the transporter room, Boimler and Rutherford finally succeed in cleaning off the console enough that it powers up. Rutherford quickly signals the return beacon so as to give the away team enough time to get away from any locals. In the market, T'Lyn's necklace flashes with the signal.
In the house, Tendi is frustrated and furious, but Data points out that "adding bounce to curls" isn't exactly going to alter the course of civilization. Tendi accuses Data of wanting T'Lyn to get the SSO job too, but Data is sure that the captain will select the officer best suited for the position. Slightly deranged in her sleep-deprived state, Tendi deactivates Data when he suggests that she get some sleep again. Spying on Tendi from the rafters, a triumphant Snell witnesses the whole argument. Covering Data up again, Tendi insists that she needs science not sleep and she'll show everyone. However, Tendi is so exhausted that she falls asleep as soon as she sits down. T'Lyn enters with the news that they have received the return signal and must prepare for transport. As T'Lyn tries to wake her up, Snell jumps from the rafters and knocks T'Lyn unconscious.
===Act Three ===
Tendi awakens tied back-to-back with T'Lyn, and Snell gloats about how his lurking has finally paid off and everyone will now see that it protects the town. Snell accuses the girls of being witches, believing that Data is a "talking, hornless demon head." Snell resists the offer of another juggling display from T'Lyn in favor of getting the angry mob to get rid of the "witches."
Left alone, T'Lyn reveals that the return beacon has been activated, and they need to make haste, or they risk someone seeing them beam out. Tendi admits that it's all her fault because she was so busy trying to out-science T'Lyn that Tendi let her guard down. A surprised T'Lyn reveals that she was completely unaware that they were in a competition with each other. T'Lyn had noticed her friend's withdrawal and was concerned about her, so her projects were an attempt to rebuild their comradery with each other. Tendi hopes that Freeman chooses T'Lyn for the position as she won the competition that she didn't even know that they were having, but T'Lyn intends to withdraw her application upon their return to the Cerritos. Being a science officer at the captain's side requires communication, a skill that T'Lyn clearly doesn't possess. Tendi reassures her friend that she can communicate and was only stopped because Tendi was being too competitive to let her. Tendi realizes that her time on as the Mistress of the Winter Constellations must've gotten into her head. However, T'Lyn still feels that she's not ready. Tendi chose to serve in Starfleet and confronted her past while T'Lyn was banished to Starfleet and has not confronted her own past. Tendi reassures her friend that that's not true and she's been amazing while Tendi has been a jerk. Tendi reactivates Data, impressing T'Lyn. Tendi asks Data to chew through her bindings, which he is able to do, having seen Lieutenant Worf do it before.
In prison, Mariner plays a soap flute without success and complains that she "had months to try and find a friend, a husband, a wife, a job, or learn a flute, and I failed." However, one of the other prisoners reassures her that she has friends amongst the prisoners, and they all love her, and Mariner realizes that the alien family that she's been searching for has been here all along. Mariner hugs the prisoner who reveals that two of them are murderers, but Mariner doesn't want to know that. A guard releases Mariner, revealing that Tendi and T'Lyn had bribed him with T'Lyn's hair remedies. Mariner asks if her new prison pals can come too, but the guard refuses, which Mariner accepts without a fight.
In the transporter room, Boimler declares that it's been long enough and begins the process of beaming the away team out.
Tendi and T'Lyn reveal that before they can get to the rendezvous point, they must do one more thing because Snell saw Data's head powered up and talking and they have to make it right. Snell and an angry mob of Dilmerians surrounds the three Starfleet officers and Snell accuses them of having a talking undead head. Snell opens the satchel, but a giant grape with a face painted on it rolls out instead of Data's head. Snell is humiliated in front of the townspeople who laugh at him and jeer at Snell's habit of lurking too much. As the mob disperses, Snell weakly insists that T'Lyn can toss rocks in the air and catch them but is dismissed out of hand.
Mariner, Tendi, and T'Lyn rush to the hillside for the beam-out. T'Lyn reveals that Data's head is concealed under her cloak. Holding Data's head, Mariner excitedly fawns over the famous android. T'Lyn notices that Snell is heading their way and Mariner asks Data about how seeing his head breaks the Prime Directive but making everyone think that Snell's a loser doesn't. Data points out that Snell was exhibiting the traits of a loser well before he saw Data's head, pleasing Mariner. Mariner asks Data to stay in the prime universe, but he wants to go back to his own reality because of his best friend Geordi La Forge. The girls and Data finally beam out just before Snell reaches the top of the hill. Snell is left disgruntled by his inability to catch them. Finding Boimler, Rutherford, and the transporter room a mess, Tendi furiously demands answers and the two unconvincingly blame it on a glitch and random LCARS issues.
Observing the still open rift from her captain's ready room, Freeman apologizes to Data for the delay and informs him that they will be sending him back through the rift to his dimension soon to be picked up by the purple Enterprise. Upon learning that the prime universe Enterprise is just a neutral gray, Data notes that "that seems like a missed opportunity when purple is an option." Data asks about the promotion to senior science officer, and Freeman admits that she's having a hard time choosing between Tendi and T'Lyn. Having spent a year in the field with them, Data offers up a recommendation to solve the issue.
In the mess hall, Tendi and T'Lyn arrive with the exciting news: at Data's suggestion, they are both receiving the promotion to senior science officer. Data had told Freeman that they were too good of a team to split up, a solution that satisfies everyone. The three make it clear that Boimler owes them big time for stranding them for so long, and Mariner begins playing her beloved soap flute badly, much to the annoyance of her friends.
Meanwhile, Freeman and Ransom load Data's head into a torpedo casing and the Cerritos fires it through the rift to be recovered on the other side by the purple Enterprise.
==Log entries==
"Captain's log, stardate 59499.6. The Cerritos has been sent to repair yet another dimensional fissure picked up by a Starfleet observation buoy. Apparently, a purple alternate universe version of the Enterprise crossed into our reality while battling some evil clones of Tasha Yar, or something. I can't keep track."
==Memorable quotes==
"Ah, sucks we missed the purple Enterprise. I wonder if the carpets match the hull."
:- Mariner, disappointed by their missed opportunity
"Captain, I'm detecting a Starfleet power signature on Dilmer III."
"Belay closing that rift."
"Looks like our friends on the purple D left us a little present."
"We have to retrieve whatever it is before it disrupts their technological evolution."
"Oh, but it's taquito night!"
"Which is why our lieutenants will handle it."
:- Boimler, Freeman, Ransom, and Shaxs, discussing a new problem
"All right, undercover mission. We're gonna – Wait, taquito night? No, I want taquitos."
"You can just replicate some when you get back."
"I know, it's just more fun to be there for all the dancing and singing. But I'm sure an undercover mission will be... fun, too."
:- Mariner, less than enthusiastic about Freeman's plan
"Eh, stupid undercover plastic surgery jobs. I didn't go to Starfleet Medical for a costume party."
"I'm sure we look great."
"I'm a doctor, not whatever the bleep this is." 
:- T'Ana, less than pleased to be preparing Tendi and the others for their away mission
"At the risk of throwing up on my sweet disguise, what are you drinking?"
"Micheladas, with all the fixin's."
"It is uncharacteristic for either of you to drink something that features such an ostentatious skewer."
"This is something the other Boimler drank, isn't it? Did you get this from that PADD?"
"Ah, I mean, come on –"
"It's just a good drink."
"You're plagiarizing someone's vibe, and I won't stand for it."
:- Mariner, Rutherford, T'Lyn, Tendi, and Boimler, discussing Boimler's newest effort to emulate his counterpart
"Is that a nose?"
"Impossible. Nothing could have survived the crash."
"How about a silicone-based lifeform?"
"Oh, no way. That's Commander Data's head. And he's purple too."
"It must be a slightly more purple dimension."
:- Tendi, T'Lyn, and Mariner, making a surprising discovery
"I didn't know you could juggle."
"Neither did I."
"Whoa, that was your first time?"
"Correct."
"How do you do it?"
"It was simply algorithmic tossing."
:- Tendi, T'Lyn, and Mariner, discussing T'Lyn's newfound talent
"You sure that necklace hasn't blinked yet?"
"It has not.'"
"Boimler said he would bring us back in a second."
"That was hours ago."
"Is it possible that Mr. Boimler has been distracted from his duty?"
"Probably with that stupid PADD. I guess we better crash in that abandoned shack for the night."
"Well, what could've happened in an empty transporter room? With the time dilation, we just saw him."
:- Mariner, T'Lyn, and Tendi, left perplexed by their situation
"Beam them back! Beam them back!"
"Controls won't work under all the michelada."
"In the time it took for you to tell me that, it's been a month for them. Oh, no! And me saying that, it was another month!"
"Stop talking months and help me wipe!"
: - Rutherford and Boimler, panicking
"Ah, another fruitful day of scanning indigenous plants. My away mission resumé is gonna be more padded than a Romulan's shoulder."
: - Tendi, four months after being stranded
"This is, uh, starting to feel like when Picard got duped into thinking he was a family man by that probe."
"I'm sorry. What?"
"You know, in 20, 25 minutes, he lived out a full lifetime – had a family, learned how to play the flute. That would be better than this."
"Ok, so, do it."
"I can't just... Wait. You're right! This could be my probe life!"
"Well, we might not have as much time as he did."
"Which is why I gotta hurry up and make a best friend! I gotta find a flute!"
:- Mariner, inspired by Tendi to make the most of their time stranded
"Snell, come on!"
"What are you doing here? I thought this house was abandoned."
"We like the town, so we moved in. It's not a big deal."
"I'll be keeping an eye on you."
"Get out of here, Snell. Go get a life. Why is there always a suspicious lurker when you're in a Carbon Creek situation?"
: - Mariner, fed up with Snell's stalking
"Hmm. Curious. I am Lieutenant Commander Data. Who are you?"
"Oh. Hi. I'm Lieutenant junior grade Tendi. It is so nice to meet you."
"You have no uniform. Are you a member of Starfleet?"
"Yes! Uh, I serve on the USS Cerritos, but right now we're stuck on Dilmer III waiting to be transported out."
"My shuttle crashed. Is that why I do not have a body?"
"Uh, yeah. Sorry. We – we looked around, but I think it got burned up."
"Do not be concerned. I have been just a head before."
"Lieutenant Commander Data, can I ask you some questions about science?"
"As long as it does not require hands, feet, or torso, I believe you can."
:- Data, activated by Tendi
"And in the interim, you are concerned that Lieutenant T'Lyn is a more capable science officer?"
"Well, we're both capable."
"Of course. Then it does not matter who receives the promotion."
"I know. I'd just be so proud to do it. Orions aren't usually science officers."
"I will help you with your studies."
"But you don't even know me."
"That is true, but I am the only android who has served on a Starfleet bridge, so I know how difficult it is to be the first."
"Ah! That's so nice!"
"You have also devised a way to power my positronic matrix using a hand crank. That is quite impressive. Let us get to work."
:- A sympathetic Data, agreeing to help Tendi
"Not cool, man. I need to live a rich and meaningful life. Who knows when Boimler's gonna get his bleep together." 
:- Mariner, her new life is off to a bad start
"Come on, come on!"
"There's nothing in here to clean with!"
"Yeah, 'cause food's not allowed in the transporter bay. The fabric's only absorbing the absorbent stuff! It's leaving behind a horrible goo!"
"We'll have to lick it off!"
:- Boimler and Rutherford, becoming desperate
"Bye, everyone. See you on the outside. Two months for an eye-poke? That is some Edo-level bull[bleep] right there. Oh, go sneer at someone else, Snell."
:- Mariner, released from prison
"I'm running out of time. I need to become a valuable member of the community, stat. Ah. Ooh, yeah, a fire. Okay, everybody stand back. Someone needs to protect the town. [extinguishes the fire with a grape] You guys see that? I'm a hero."
"She extinguished our eternal flame."
"Oh, no! How are we supposed to ward off dark spirits now?"
"I mean, I'm just saying, if that's all it took, it couldn't have really been that eternal. And who even believes in demons, right?"
:- Mariner and the townspeople, as her attempt to become a hero backfires
"Hey, everybody. Miss any good rats while I was gone?"
:- Mariner, returned to prison
"It's working! Lick faster!"
"Oh, this thing tastes like Lundy smells. Aah!"
"I don't think he washes his hands before he uses it."
: - Rutherford and Boimler, as their painful and disgusting work is paying off
"Do not be so hard on yourself. I struggled to build an electromagnetic field core when I was trapped in 19th century San Francisco."
"Really? Well, how'd you get back to your own time?"
"I waited in a cave until Captain Picard, myself and some guy in a silver jumpsuit dug me out."
"We'll call that Plan B." 
:- Data, sharing a story with Tendi
"What? You can't give these people advanced medicine. It breaks the Prime Directive."
"Which is why it is not advanced."
"You're selling... beauty products?"
"By boiling the skin of the shnoop fruit, I have discovered a natural protein filament enhancer."
"Of course you did."
"Their improved appearance has imbued our neighbors with confidence. I have improved their lives without breaking any protocol. We are also now rich."
"I'm so happy for you."
:- A very unhappy Tendi, discovering T'Lyn's thriving business
"There! We got it!"
"Yes! Get them back! Hurry!"
"We have to signal the thingy, the… the necklace!"
"Right, and that'll give them time to get away from any locals!"
:- Boimler and Rutherford, finally managing to get the console working
"I knew it."
: - Snell, his spying finally paying off
"Did you have a nice nap, witches? Look's like ol' Snell's creepy lurking finally paid off."
"We are not witches."
"Tell it to your talking, hornless demon head!"
"Oh, you saw that, huh?"
"Finally, everyone is going to see that my lurking protects the town."
"Could I interest you in another juggling display?"
"Yes. I – I mean no. I – I – Y – You'll put on a show soon enough, when I'm back with the angry mob."
:- Snell, gloating to T'Lyn and Tendi
"The return beacon has been activated. We must make haste, or someone may witness our beaming."
"Ugh, it's all my fault. I was so focused on trying to out-science you that I let my guard down."
"Why were you trying to "out-science" me?"
"The agriculture, the hair tonic. We were trying to out-science each other."
"I was unaware of a competition. But I did notice your withdrawal. My projects were an attempt to rebuild our comradery."
"What? They were? Oh... I hope the captain chooses you for the bridge. I couldn't keep up, and you didn't even know it was a race."
:- Tendi and T'Lyn, reconciling
"I intend to revoke my application upon our return to the Cerritos."
"What? Why?"
"Serving at the captain's side requires skills I do not possess. A science officer must be able to communicate. Which I clearly can not."
"Yes, you can. I didn't let you because I was being competitive. All that time on Orion must've gotten in my head."
"You chose to serve in Starfleet. I was banished here. You confronted your past, while I have not. I must improve myself before I can lead."
"T'Lyn, that's not true. You're amazing and I've been a real jerk. But that ends now."
:- T'Lyn, admitting her doubts to Tendi
"Please, do not shut me down mid-conversation."
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that."
"Curious. You have activated the android's head."
"That is correct."
"Data, can you chew off my bindings?"
"That is outside of my knowledge base, but I have seen Lieutenant Worf do this. I can try."
"Wow, you really are fully functional." 
:- Data, using his head to help Tendi and T'Lyn
"Stupid soap flute. This sucks."
"Hey. What's the matter, Big Mare?"
"I had months to try and find a friend, a husband, a wife, a job, or learn a flute, and I failed."
"You made friends in here."
"Really?"
"Yeah, we love you, Big Mare. You're one of us."
"I found my alien family. They were here all along. Aw, I did it."
"You did. And two of us are murderers."
"Shh, I – I don't wanna know that." 
:- Mariner, finding a silver lining with the help of a prisoner
"All right, go Team Science! Hey, can my prison pals come, too?"
"Hell, no."
[the prisoners all boo]
"Oh, come on."
"Uh, sorry guys, I tried." 
:- Mariner, trying to get the guard to release the prisoners
"Witches! There they are!"
"Come on, Snell, could you stop being yourself for once?"
"They have an undead head that speaks!"
"No, we don't."
"Yes, you do. I saw it."
: - Snell, leading an angry mob and arguing with Tendi
"Aha! See?"
"It's just a giant grape. I bought one of those in the market."
"It's just a grape."
"No, no, this is a trick. The head was talking!"
"The lighting was pretty bad. You were probably just confused."
"You spend too much time lurking, Snell. We all know it."
"Wait! No! That one can toss rocks in the air and catch them!"
"Who cares? Get a job, Snell."
:- Snell, humiliated in front of the Dilmerian townspeople by Tendi
"Ooh, can I hold Data, please? Huh. It's, like, warmer than I expected."
"Why did you have a preconceived notion about my temperature?"
"Because I think about you all the time. You are really cool."
"I am cool? Then why does my warmth surprise you?"
"Such a Data thing to say. Oh, man, this is great. This is really everything I wanted it to be." 
:- Mariner, fawning over a confused Data
"So, it breaks the Prime Directive if someone sees your head, but it's okay if everyone thinks Snell's a loser?"
"He appeared to be exhibiting traits of what you would call a loser well before he saw my head."
"Ha. Get burnt, Snell."
:- Mariner and Data, discussing their solution to the Snell problem
"Are you sure you don't wanna stick in our dimension?"
"I need to get home to Geordi. He is my best friend."
"Aw, respect. I'd go back for Geordi, too."
:- Data, refusing Mariner's offer to stay because of an old friend
"Boimler, what the hell happened?!"
"Uh, the controls had a glitch?"
"Yeah, totally random, uh, LCARS issues."
:- A furious Tendi, questioning Boimler and Rutherford
"Apologies for the delay, Commander Data. While the rift to your dimension is still open, we'll be sending you back soon for the purple Enterprise to pick up."
"What color is your Enterprise?"
"No color, just neutral gray."
"That seems like a missed opportunity when purple is an option."
:- Freeman and Data, discussing their respective universe's Enterprise
"And captain, permission to speak freely?"
"Of course."
"While down on the planet's surface, there was some discussion as to whom would be receiving a promotion to senior science officer."
"Yes, I'm actually having a hard time deciding between two candidates."
"Having spent a year in the field with them, I would like to make a recommendation."
:- Data, with a solution for Freeman's dilemma
"Guys, guess who's the new senior science officer."
"You got the job?"
"No, we both did!"
"Congrats. Aw, that's a great call. Good on Carol."
"Apparently, purple Data told her we were too good of a team to split up."
"And he's best science friends with Geordi, so he would know."
"You okay with this?"
"I share in the opinion that we complement each other's strengths."
:- Tendi, Rutherford, Mariner, and T'Lyn, discussing the good news
"Honestly, part of me is jealous you all got to be on a mission for so long."
"Don't act like you gave us some gift. You both owe us big time."
"It was an honest mistake. It could happen to anyone."
"Food isn't allowed in the transporter bay."
"You do indeed owe us big time." 
:- Boimler, in the doghouse with Mariner, Tendi, and T'Lyn
==Background information ==
* The title alludes to time dilation, while using a term more commonly applied to the cervical dilation which accompanies childbirth.
===Continuity===
* The purple universe's is still intact as is Lieutenant Commander Data who were destroyed in and , respectively. Data also mentions Worf (who is still a lieutenant in his universe rather than being promoted to Lieutenant Commander by 2371), Geordi La Forge, and Jean-Luc Picard.
* Lieutenant junior grade D'Vana Tendi mentions the events of as well as and .
* Beckett Mariner mentions the events of , , and .
* T'Lyn references the events of .
* The alternate reality Data mentions being stuck in 19th century San Francisco and being rescued by Captain Picard, himself, and "some guy in a silver jumpsuit" from a cave where he had waited. This is a reference to the events of the episodes and .
==Links and references==
===Starring ===
*Tawny Newsome as Beckett Mariner
*Jack Quaid as Brad Boimler
*Noël Wells as D'Vana Tendi
*Eugene Cordero as Sam Rutherford
*Dawnn Lewis as Carol Freeman
*Jerry O'Connell as
**Jack Ransom
**Dilmerian villager
*Fred Tatasciore as 
**Shaxs
**Dilmerian bartender
*Gillian Vigman as T'Ana
===Special guest star===
*Brent Spiner as "Lt. Cmdr. Data" 
===Guest cast ===
*Eric Bauza as Snell
*Gabrielle Ruiz as T'Lyn
;Characters with unidentified voices
*Dilmerian bar patron
*Dilmerian guard
*Dilmerian prisoner 1
*Dilmerian prisoner 2
===Background characters===
;Alternate PADD photo
*Beard Boimler
*T'Ana
;USS Cerritos
*Human bar staff 2
*Human lt jg
*Human ops lt jg 1
*Human sci ens 5
;Dilmer III
*Bar patrons
*Individuals in portraits
*Prisoners
*Villagers
===References===
19th century; agriculture; algorithmic; alien; android (Soong-type android); application; away mission; back; bag (satchel); Bajoran; bar staff uniform; battery; beam (aka beaming, transport); beauty product; best science friends; "Big Mare"; body; boiling; bonfire; bounce; brick; bridge; broom; ; butter; Caitian; ; candidates; captain; captain's log; Carbon Creek; carpets; carrot; cash register; cauterization; cauterization tool; cave; ; churning; civilization; color; commander; controls; core; costume party; crater; curls; currency; dagger; dark spirits; days; demon; Dilmer III; Dilmer III fish-like creature; Dilmer III horse-like creature; Dilmer III tree; Dilmer III village; Dilmer III's moon; Dilmerian; dimension; dimensional fissure (aka "fizsh"); doctor; door; drink; drooling; Edo; electromagnetic field core; ; Enterprise-D, USS (alternate); eternal flame; eye; eyepatch; family; fertilizers; fire; feet; flour; flute (soap flute); food; friend (aka best friend, pal); fruit; ; ; gift; globber; grain; grape; guy; guy in a silver jumpsuit; hair; hair tonic; hand crank; hands; head; ; hero; holodeck; home; ; horning; horticulture; hours; house; hull; husband; hydroelectric power; "in the field"; instrument; issues; jail; jerk; job; juggling; jumpsuit; Kataan probe; Kelemane's planet; kilometers; kiosk; La Forge, Geordi; LCARS; licking; lieutenant; lieutenant junior grade; lighting; livestock; loser; love; ; lurker; lurking; medicine; melon; Michelada; minerals; minutes; mission; mistake; mister; mob; month; murderers; name; nap; necklace; neighbors; neutral gray; north; nose; odor (aka stench); officer; opinion; opportunity; option; Orion; (planet); outcropping; PADD; pain; people; performers; physiological difference; ; Picard, Jean-Luc (alternate); pit; plagiarism; plan (Plan B); planet; plant (Dilmer III plants); plastic surgery; ; poke; positronic matrix; power conduits; power fluctuation; power signature; pre-industrial society; Prime Directive; prison; produce; promotion; protein filament enhancer; purple; questions; rats; rendezvous point; return beacon; return signal; rock; Romulan; roomie; San Francisco; sass; scans; scent receptors; science; second; senior science officer (aka science officer, SSO); shack; ; shnoop fruit; shoulder; show; shrimp; shuttlecraft (unnamed); silicon-based lifeform; ; silver jumpsuit; situation; skewer; skin; Slarno; sleep; sneer; standing; stardate; Starfleet; Starfleet delta; Starfleet Medical; Starfleet observation buoy; Starfleet tricorder; Starfleet uniform (alternate); Starfleet uniform (early 2380s); "stat"; stimulant leaf; stubble; taquito night; taquitos; team; temperature; thing (aka thingy); tickets; time; time dilation; torpedo casing; torso; tossing; town; transporter; transporter room (aka transporter bay); troupe; type 2 phaser; undercover mission; uniform (Starfleet uniform); Viltan Flats; voltage stabilizer; ; Vulcan; water wheel; week; "what the hell"; wife; wind; windmill; wiping; witch; Worf; Yar, Tasha; year
====Meta references ====
bleep; "I'm a doctor, not a..."; intertitle
de:Die Zeitdilatation
fr:Fully Dilated (épisode)
pl:Fully Dilated