Tekkit

Prologue
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This story is about 3 Youtubers who get stranded on an island. Together they must rely on their instincts and friendship in order to survive. Now, let's go over their bios... (You might be getting some Miiverse RP flashbacks here...)
MunchingOrangeNickname: Mo or Eriel
Age: 17
Date of birth: December 21st 1994 (Sagittarius)
Birthplace: Puerto Rico
Hair: Medium length black hair that is kinda spiky
Wearing: An orange T-shirt with a Pokeball logo on the front, blue jeans, a red scarf, and red and white sneakers
Fun Fact: His favorite number is 69!___________________________________________________
Jethrotex
Nickname: Dylan
Age: 17
Date of birth: October 1st 1994 (Libra)
Birthplace: Toronto, Canada
Hair: White emo hair with his right eye covered by his bangs
Wearing: A sage green dress jacket with a light yellow vest over it, a white tie, black dress pants, and black loafers
Fun Fact: His favorite catchphrase is "Blacker than a moonless night. Hotter and more bitter than the depths of hell itself... That is coffee."___________________________________________________
YoshitoMario
Nickname: Hugh or Yoshi
Age: 17
Date of birth: January 23rd 1995 (Aquarius)
Birthplace: Canterbury, England
Hair: Medium length brown hair
Wearing: A green Yoshi hoodie, green sweatpants, and orange sneakers
Fun Fact: He hates the song Swagger Jagger more than anything!___________________________________________________
With that being said, I hope you enjoy my Tekkit fan fiction!
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Chapter 1
Death is only the beginning
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MunchingOrange, Jethrotex, and YoshitoMario are very odd Youtubers, they get into all kinds of bizarre adventures if you catch my drift. On August 6th 2012, the 3 of them went on a fishing trip together, it was literally so they could skip school. However, at midnight on the 7th, their boat was struck by a tidal wave, and they lost consciousness! (They also lost the memories of them even going on the fishing trip.)  The next day, which is still the 7th, they wake up on the deserted island with no supplies on them... Here's what follows!
Current Date: August 7th 2012
Mo wakes up floating in sea water.
Mo: Oh God... oh man, it's been a while.
Mo swims to sand that is risen up in the middle of the water, he's still a bit far from the shore. Mo looks off into the distance and sees Dylan and Hugh at the shore, calling and waving to him.
Mo: Who are these people? Why are they looking at me funny?
Mo couldn't tell who they were due to the distance between them. Mo starts swimming to shore, and reunites with his friends. He hears birds chirping.
Mo: Why are there birds?! Yoshi, you didn't tell me there would be birds in this!
Hugh: There are birds!
Dylan: There are birds in this.
Hugh: Hey. That's my line!
Mo: Oh hey it's that other guy too.
Hugh punches Dylan in the shoulder.
Dylan: Screw you! Just say my name dammit! Don't you dare say that they-
Hugh: Hee hee hee.
Mo: OK. Hi everybody! Or sorry, that's not my intro. What's up everyone! Welcome to a new fan fiction thing where we do Tekkit. Because that's what everyone wanted to do, and apparently if I don't do this then I'm gonna die, um, according to half the comments on the videos. Yup.
Hugh: Yeah dude, Tekkit is sexy. So we're doing this.
Dylan: Wow, look at how good Tekkit is. Look at how that tree looks.
Mo: So I love my friends, and so I have decided to bring them into the fan fiction as my bastard child baby.
Dylan: Children.
Hugh: You never told me that!
Mo: Children. Bastard children. Yes Yoshi, you are adopted.
Dylan: Mo, say my name.
Mo: So I'm joined today with: Heeeeelllo guys! It's YoshitoMario! And it's the Jethrotex.
Hugh: Hey hey hey, I need to do that. Heeeeeelllllo guys!!
Dylan: No Yoshi! Stop ruining everything with that damn theme!
Hugh: Hey it's a good intro.
Mo: Heh. Alright, so what's your intro then, Dylan?
Dylan: I don't have one, that's the classic nature of it.
Hugh: Hi guys I'm Dylan. Heh heh.
Mo: So for the purposes of this, people refer to me as Mo because Eriel is apparently too difficult to say. So, Yoshi is Hugh, and Dylan is Jethrotex. Hi.
Dylan: Hi.
Mo: I said that backwards.
The 3 of them begin to start collecting wood.
Hugh: I love how like, Dylan just gets a, uh, like a non-real name, and both of us get a semi-normal one.
Dylan: Mine's amazing! It's like an actual username you can go by. And Mo's is fine, Mo's has a personality. YoshitoMario? What is that?
Hugh: It's got a swear word in it dude, it's pro.
Mo: Yo shit o Mario.
Dylan: Mo, it's not our fault that we can't roll R's, Eriel.
Mo: Eriel?
Dylan: Alright, from now on, we're calling you Eriel. Or ERRRiel, I'm sorry.
Mo: Alright, you can do it like that, that's fine.
Dylan: Ooh! An apple!
Mo: Why are you guys down there? Or you. I don't even know where Dylan is.
Dylan: Hi Hugh.
Hugh: Oh hello!
Dylan: I see you on the other side. Oh thanks guys, you know, just totally make a bench up there- gasp! Another apple!
I forgot to mention that Mo had a book with him which is like a recipe book for building various things on a crafting table.
Mo: By the way, this is called Too Many Items. It actually shows you the recipes for items.
Hugh: Well, it is Too Many Items, but it's an unlimited form of it.
Mo: Oh yeah, isn't it called Not Enough Items or something like that?
Hugh: I don't know.
Mo: It actually just shows you how to build a lot of shit.
Dylan: Yeah, it's just like a recipe book.
Hugh: It is so useful.
Mo: Yeah, it's pretty cool. It's pretty good, I like it.
Dylan: I read through it before, when I was trying to get a diamond sword to kill Yoshi, which apparently doesn't work.
Hugh: I don't think you're gonna get a diamond sword this early, Dylan.
Dylan: Well I dunno, man. Have you never seen video games?
Hugh: No I have not, what are video games?
Hugh's sarcasm is appalling. The 3 of them continue collecting wood, crafting them into wooden planks, etc.
Mo: So it looks like we spawned on this pretty cool island.
Dylan: Ow, I broke my leg!
Dylan was lying, he just hurt his leg by falling from a tree.
Hugh: Yeah, we got a pretty cool spawn. It's pretty hot.
Dylan: I'm gonna eat one of these apples. Mo, you look like you got attacked by Jonah Rivers.
Mo did look kinda beat up when he awakened. His hair was ruffled, and his clothes were a bit tattered.
Mo: By Joan Rivers or Jonah Riv- what? I thought of Jonah Hill.
Dylan: Jonah Rivers is that lady who has like a lot of plastic surgery, and her lips go like the size of her... it goes from one ear to the other essentially.
Hugh: Sadly in today's world, that is not, uh, not actually narrowing anything down.
Mo: For some reason I thought of Jonah Hill when you said that, and so I was like "what?".
Hugh: Heh.
Mo: And not skinny gay Jonah Hill, I mean like, chubby funny Jonah Hill.
Dylan: Ah, is he skinny now? I haven't seen him in a while.
Hugh: Yeah, me neither.
Mo: Heh. He's in that crappy Ben Stiller movie.
Dylan: Oh wait, which one?
Mo: The Watch. Neighborhood Watch thing.
Dylan: OK, I've not heard of that. I don't watch movies.
Hugh: I love Jonah Hill, he's awesome.
Mo: Well apparently it was... meh. It was mediocre according to people.
Hugh: It was just meh. Mo's reaction said it all. It was meh.
Mo: Meh.
Dylan: All we need is Zoolander and we're good. Ben Stiller can just go away.
Mo: Yes. And also Amelia Earhart in the Nightmare Before The Museum. I forgot what it was called, so I switched movies halfway through.
Dylan: No, it's called Nightmare: The Museum on Ice.
Mo: 3D?
Dylan: 3D.
Mo: Yes!
Dylan: Another apple! Kawaii desu!
Mo: Yay. Yay apple.
Hugh: OK, so I'm making some productive stuff up here.
Mo: I'm just getting wood. I'm trying to run out of this axe, and then I'll have enough wood for a wooding c-
Dylan: Yeah, I'm barely doing it. I'm just running around.
Hugh: Okey-dokey.
Mo: Well, what do you think the order of getting stuff in this is?
Hugh: That's what I've been working on.
Mo: Like, I honestly think we should just treat it like a normal survival at first, right? And then we actually start doing things?
Hugh: Yeah, I agree. I mean, if we... let's get a basic house, and then we can start putting in like a generator.
Dylan: Another apple!
Hugh: Uh, we can get a batbox going, a masserator, all that good stuff.
Mo: A what?
Hugh: Uh, batbox, masserator, that's a battery box, masserator...
Dylan: What the hell's a masserator?
Hugh: It turns ores into dust.
Mo: Is it like Mass Effect?
Hugh: No, it's nothing like Mass Effect actually.
Mo: OK. Did we just leave the crafting table behind? I hear a pig.
Hugh: Uh, no, I'm back there.
Dylan: Yeah, me also.
Hugh: I'm smelting some copper.
Dylan: Yoshi you moron! Don't do that there!
Mo starts walking to a beach that had seawater from the north to the west. while in the center of the beach, there was a big lake.
Mo: There's like a perfectly sized pool over here. Like, it's literally, well it's not really a perfect circle.
Hugh: I'm just gonna get a bit of wood, and then I'm gonna move everything back up.
Mo: It's almost a perfect circle. Or, like, a sphere shape- it's not even a sphere! You know, forget it. It's just a circle. K.
Dylan: I love circles. They're so round.
Mo: They're pretty nice.
Dylan: They're like the apples I have in my inventory. I'm just gonna like, just break all of these trees with my fist.
Mo: Oh, I thought you meant like your Adam's Apple that you have on your neck.
Dylan: Yeah, that's where I give birth to women and children. Why do I- I always say women immediatly by accident, and I feel bad about that cause I... nuts.
Mo: You only give birth to women?
Dylan: Copper? You found copper?
Hugh: Yeah, I'm just uh, smelting copper for later.
Dylan: What does copper do?
Mo: Copper is used to make wiring.
Hugh: I've got a tree tap as well, so, we'll need it later to get some stuff.
Dylan: I have to learn new things.
Mo: OK, well we have to get to a swamp first. Cause that's where... or actually... do like, rubber trees spawn there?
Hugh: Uh, I'm not sure about rubber trees spawning.
Dylan: Oh God! Zombies!
Dylan saw a few zombies in the distance. The 3 of them were safe however.
Dylan: Baby hug me!
Mo starts hugging Dylan.
Mo: Baby! Baby hug me!
Hugh: I think rubber trees spawn in normal areas. So, we need to build a house like really fast guys.
Mo: God dammit! You broke-
Hugh: Heh heh heh.
Dylan: Let's move to flat land.
Hugh: Let's just go, let's just go.
Mo: Yeah, let's go over here. Let's move this way.
Hugh: Yeah.
The 3 begin walking to the pool area that Mo discovered.
Mo: I was making a pick, dick.
Hugh: Ya dick, I was makin' a pick, bickbickbicknicknicknicknicknickbick!
Mo: Shut up please.
Hugh: And from now on, Yoshi was known as a rappin' dubstep.
Dylan: And from now on, Brits were never known to rap.
Mo: Except for Sure Lloyd.
Hugh: No! No!
Dylan: Oh God, there's a skeleton over there.
Hugh: We've got a rubber tree over here.
Mo: Swagger Jagger! It's coming Yoshi, Swagger Jagger's coming! You know what, I'm gonna make that the intro for this!
Hugh: No you're not! No you're not!
Mo: Yes I am!
Dylan: No, Mo, don't risk the copyright, and Yoshi's apparent sanity.
Mo: Heh heh. Hey, Sure Lloyd is like, my girlfriend. So like, she won't mind it.
Hugh: I will kill you one day, Mo. It will be glorious.
Mo: Where did you go, Yoshi?
Hugh: I found some rubber, I got some rubber tree saplings.
Mo: Seriously? Already?
Hugh: Yeah dude, I'm speeding through this.
Mo: Where are you?
Hugh: Uh, I'm still at where we spawned.
Dylan: Man Yoshi, if you keep doing all this stuff, then Mo's not gonna have any footage.
Mo: Uh, I just wanna learn how to even do things. Like, I know how to get rubber, I don't have a tree tap, but I can't even find Yoshi to get one.
Hugh: Yeah, I'm trying to find where you are. I'm kinda near where we started.
Mo: OK, I found a rubber tree. It's right here.
Dylan: Where are you guys?
Mo: Dylan, you were right next to me like a few seconds ago.
Dylan: Yeah, but then I got lost. Oh my God a creeper!
Hugh: There's a skeleton coming after me, and a spider.
Mo: I'm on the treetops. I'm on the top of a tree and there's a pig next to me.
Dylan: Ooh, flowers! They're pretty!
Mo: And they are very useful.
Dylan: Oh and there is a zombie. I think I'm gonna die.
Hugh: You're on top of a tree? Are you near the coast?
Mo: No, I am-
Dylan: I am not near the coast, I am dying by the death of a spider. Oh my God am I already going to die? No! Nonononononono!
Hugh: OK, I'm gonna run just up here.
Dylan: I'm near the coast.
Mo: You refuse to die?
Dylan: I refuse to die.
Hugh: Yeah, so am I.
Mo: How about you guys find... uh, look in your map and check where we are.
Dylan: I'm back where we started.
Hugh: Oh, I'm not. I'm further away now.
Mo: Oh hey look, it's Dylan.
Dylan: Hi Mo, hi Mo.
Mo: Alright, are you near the big circular lagoon thing at the beach, Yoshi?
Hugh: Uh, no, but I can go back there. I was running away from that.
Mo: Oh God, you're farther away from that? Jeez. Alright, me and Dylan are together.
Hugh: Basically, are you near where we spawned?
Dylan: Yoshi, we're gonna make sure we stick close together. Oh nonononono! Don't kill me, please don't!
Mo: You being hit by something? Oh, a spider.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Come here, Dylan. Stop moving.
Dylan: Where are you? Oh, there you are.
Mo: I'm right here.
Dylan: Well I can't see you behind my back!
Mo starts fighting the spider that was attacking Dylan.
Mo: Oh no, my sword ran out! This is painful!
Dylan: Don't worry, if we gang-bang it, we're good.
Mo: OK, we're good. Let's leave now. This way.
Hugh: OK guys, I'm coming back over to where we spawned. You over there?
Mo: Just go to the big lagoon thing, circle. Oh God, there is a creeper.
Hugh: When you say lagoon, is that where we spawned?
Mo: No. Just look for a big circular pond.
Dylan: I'm almost dead.
Hugh: I don't see a big circular pond.
Mo: Really?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Are you back-
Dylan: Oh no, I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead! Mo- Awwwww...
JETHROTEX WAS SHOT BY A SKELETON!
Mo: Awwwww...
Hugh: OK, well I'm gonna see Dylan in a minute anyway.
Dylan: That's unfortunate.
Mo: Alright, well Dylan can lead you over here.
Hugh: OK Dylan, look to your left. I'm in the water.
Dylan: I see you. Hello, Yoshi!
Hugh: Hello! I've got rubber.
Dylan: That's good. I don't know what you're insinuating with that, that I will not have sex with you.
Hugh: Heh heh!
Dylan: I don't care how much protection you bring.
Hugh: We can do it right here, right now. Come to me Dylan!
Dylan: No Yoshi.
Mo: Where is the tree tap?
Hugh: Uh, the tree tap is just 1, 2, 3, 4... I think it's 5 wooden planks.
Mo: Oh my God, there's 51 pages of items.
Hugh: It's just 5 wooden planks.
Dylan: Hey hey, is there maple syrup?
Mo: Kind of. I'm looking for tree tap in the Too Many Items thing, and I honestly don't know where it is.
Hugh: I can tell you what it is if you need it.
Mo: I just heard a creeper blow up.
Dylan: Yeah, that might have been behind me.
Mo: Alright, then you guys are apparently near me.
Dylan: I'm near the big circle thing, Mo. I've got all my stuff.
Hugh: Ah, now I see the big circle!
Dylan: Hey Mo, can we dub this The Big Circle Jerk? I think we're gonna call it that.
Mo: Oh I made a tree tap.
Hugh: Yes that is a good name. Hey Mo! I'm here!
Mo: I literally just figured out how to make it on my own because I have no idea how the hell to actually make one. So...
Dylan: Yoshi, where are you? Oh there you are Mo!
Mo: He's on top of this tree with me. Oh God! Help me YoshitoMario! Ah! There is a thing killing me!
Hugh: I got this! I got this!
Hugh starts fighting the spider that was attacking Mo.
Dylan: Are we having a death counter at the end of the chapter?
Mo: No we're not.
Dylan: OK thank you.
Hugh: Oh, okay, good.
Dylan: The readers can just keep track of it.
Hugh: Which they will. Do not worry.
Mo: What do you think this is? The Crew?
Dylan: Yeah! What do you think this is? The Crew? www. youtube.com/TheCrewSubscribe! Wait, what?
Hugh: OK guys, we need to go down.
Mo: No it's http ://www.penis!
Dylan: No! Please don't go to that website! We beg you.
Hugh: Guys, we need to go down to this cave here.
Mo: There wasn't an ending to it, so they don't know if it's .jizz or .net.
Dylan: Yeah, but I don't care. Whatever they try will probably lead to satanism.
A spider starts attacking Mo!
Mo: Oh God! I am dead in a second! Help me! Help me! Help me help you! Help me help you! Aaahhh! Aaahhh! There's a dead end! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
MUNCHINGORANGE WAS KILLED BY A SPIDER!
Mo: Oh no...
Dylan: I'll get your items.
Mo: No you shouldn't. You probably shouldn't do that.
Hugh: Oh God.
Dylan: OK fine, I won't do that then. This is a wonderful start to the series.
Mo: This is a wonderful start. We definitely got our house done by the nighttime, which makes everything so much better.
Hugh: Yup, of course. OK, well, your stuff's here. I'll help you guard it.
Mo: Um, I found you guys. Hi.
Dylan: I still have this flower.
Hugh: Whoa! Dylan watch out! Behind you!
Mo: Oh God!
Dylan: What? Oh!
Mo: I heard a creeper.
Hugh: There's one right behind you! Right behind you!
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo starts fighting the creeper that was gonna blow up Dylan.
Dylan: Mo, careful. We don't need you to have anymore battle wounds.
Mo: Yes! I got him! I got him like I got your mom!
Hugh: Oh ho!
Dylan: That's not nice. Stop talking about Yoshi's mom.
Mo: Sorry.
Hugh: Hey!
Mo: Hey, she's a nice British lady.
Hugh: She is.
Mo: And she has nice lips.
Hugh: Hey, careful on what you say.
Mo: I don't- I don't know your mom. I'm sorry.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: More flowers~ Yay~ What is this?
Mo: I'm just jealous. Because you get to have a mom. I have 2 dads!
Dylan: Pffft...
Hugh: Oh my.
Mo: Hahahaha! I dont even know what I'm talking about!
Dylan: Can we make a house by the giant circle jerk?
Hugh: I think we should, yeah.
Mo: I found a rubber tree. Yeah, that's what I suggested originally.
Hugh: Let's do it, let's do it.
Mo: But I found a rubber tree nearby, and now I don't even know where it is.
Dylan: Oh God, a skeleton.
Hugh: OK guys, if we make a really basic dirt house, I got a chest we can use.
Dylan: I have 60 wood.
Hugh: OK.
Mo: That's not that much.
Dylan: We are not slumming down to dirt!
Continued in Chapter 2!
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Chapter 2
Fun with Mining
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Current Date: August 9th 2012
Days Stranded: 2
Last time on Tekkit, Mo and Hugh began building their house at the southern part of the lake. Behind them was a large forest.
Mo: Alright, let's make our house here. Is this our beachhouse? Because we're in the beach.
Hugh: Let's just keep it simple for now.
Dylan: No no no n- awwwwww...
JETHROTEX WAS SHOT BY A SKELETON!
Dylan: I suck at this. I suck until I have items, and then I kill an entire team of people in the Hunger Games. Such as Mo and the other people.
Hugh: Yeah, what the hell.
Mo: Dick.
Dylan: Shut up.
Hugh: OK, well at least it's daytime, we can actually do this like, safely now.
Mo: Yes.
Mo and Hugh managed to build a simple house out of wooden planks.
Dylan: Oh wow, you guys made a house over there. OK fine, I'll just break this down.
Dylan was referring to a dirt house he made.
Hugh: Yeah, do it.
Dylan: Looks like my efforts were in vain.
Hugh: Yup, they totally were.
Mo: Vain... I like vains.
Dylan: Maybe if you didn't hurt me so much.
Hugh: Heh. Not gonna happen, bro.
Mo: OK, so let me put down a crafting thingie, and make a shovel... We should probably get some stone, because I still have wooden stuff.
Mo used his newly created wooden shovel to clear the sand flooring out of the house.
Dylan: You know what we could do? We could just dig down.
Mo: No, there's actually a cave nearby, I just can't find it anywhere.
Hugh: Yo Dylan!
Hugh threw an egg at Dylan.
Dylan: Ow!
Hugh: Have a chicken, bro!
Mo: Oh God, it actually pooped out a chicken!
The baby chicken that hatched from the egg ran out of the house, and jumped in the lake.
Dylan: Save it! No it's gonna drown! Hi...
Hugh: And it hit Dylan at the same time. That's beautiful.
Mo: Save the baby chicken, baby.
Mo started to replace the floor of the house with wooden planks.
Dylan: OK, we're gonna name you Fred. He's gonna swim in this Forever Circle Jerk. Forever 21.
Mo: TM. Copyright. Please sponser us. Thank you.
Dylan: Heh heh.
Hugh: Ha ha ha!
Mo finished replacing the floor with wooden planks. They now start to put in a chest and a furnace, Dylan then started to burn sand into glass in the furnace.
Mo: Why are we- we're using saplings as fuel?
Dylan: Haha, I didn't know what to use.
Mo: This is great.
Dylan: OK, we're using saplings.
Mo built a wooden door and placed it in the doorway of the house. Now their house was complete, except they need to build windows and a roof.
Dylan: I don't know why saplings burn so quickly, I mean, they are gigantic leaves.
Mo: Can you get me all the glass, please?
Dylan: Um, I don't have any glass.
Mo: Oh, it's just, wow. It's taking a long ass time to smelt then. Alright, let's just wait for it to smelt. Hey let me show off tree tapping, Yoshi. Don't take this.
Dylan: Oh I wanna see it! I wanna see it!
Hugh: I already took the tree tap.
Mo: No! Wait, no no, I mean there's one right there in front of me.
Hugh: Yeah I know, this is the one I just grew.
Mo: No but look, there's like a little yellow thing on it. You don't see it?
Hugh: Oh, I already took it.
Mo: There's one right there, like right in front of me. You don't see it?
Hugh: No, that was right where I took it.
Mo: Look, I just tapped it, and rubber came out.
Hugh: Uh, we just duked it.
Mo: Sticky resin.
Hugh: Sticky dew resin! Hohohoho!
Mo: Hey stop taking my glass, boy, this is my glass okay?
Hugh: I'm not taking your glass, I was just seeing if we could craft-
Dylan: Are we doing window panes or just glass? Cause I like glass better.
Mo: Uh, I'm making window panes because I'm a window pane.
Dylan: Aw.
Hugh: You are a pane in my window. Hohohoho!
Mo: K, so you guys should probably make a roof, I'm gonna go try to find the cave I found earlier maybe.
Dylan: I'm gonna come with Mo.
Mo: Oh my gosh, there's a snow biome nearby already!
Dylan: Even though I don't have a sword, so I'm useless.
Mo: Hey, don't worry, Dylan. We will find one.
Dylan: Oh boy.
Hugh: It is fine.
Mo: You are now Dylan, because Dylan is Dylan. OK I see it, I think I see the cave here. Here it is, found it!
Mo and Dylan enter the cave that leads underground.
Mo: Do you have any coal? Because there's no coal in this cave, and it's kinda dark and scary.
Hugh: You're in a cave? Oh God. OK, I'm just doing housework, like the woman I am.
Mo: Hey look, marble!
Dylan: I don't even have a pickaxe, I'm really useless, wow.
Mo: Oh there's also copper.
Dylan: Mo, there's coal over here.
Mo: There is?
Dylan: Yeah, come over here.
Mo: Oh God I found uranium! This is dangerous!
Hugh: No dude that's fine, you can handle it.
Mo: This is dangerous. Dylan?
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Help!
Dylan: What?
Mo: Help me with this uranium.
Dylan: What am I supposed to do with it?
Mo: Uh you're supposed to be my... my, uh... my test bunny.
Dylan: By the way Mo, um, here, what you have to do is go mine this coal right here.
Mo: No, there's coal right here.
Dylan: OK well fine, go get that one. Do you need wood? I have wood. Would you like some wood?
Hugh: He's always got wood.
Mo: No I would not like wood, I would like your butt in my dick.
Dylan: I don't think that's appropriate.
Mo: Ah, there we go, I did it. I have light up the place.
Dylan: Lit.
Hugh: I have done light up that place yo.
Mo: I have an Etch & Sketch in my mouth.
Hugh: Yes that's the best thing to have.
Dylan: That's great. When you shake it, like, all the words dissappear. So the dirty messages you've sent to your father are deleted.
Mo: I told you, I have 2 fathers. You have to specify which one. Is it Timmy or Jimmy?
Dylan: Pffft.
Hugh: Heh heh.
Dylan: They knew they were in love when they heard their names.
Mo: Yes, it's Timmy Neutron and Jimmy Voxle.
Dylan: Voxitron.
Mo: Yeah, that. I forgot the other kids name. OK, it's Timmy Neutron and Jimmy Turner. I know I said those backwards, I did it on purpose, thank you.
Mo builds a crafting table.
Mo: Now we make this, and now we can make more tools for Dylan and myself and me.
Dylan: Yay! Woooo!
Hugh: And I'm Yoshi.
Dylan: You're not here.
Mo: And also Irony. You can't forget about her, cause Jim Carrey.
Dylan: OK, do I just mine that uranium?
Mo: No you can't mine uranium, you need iron I think.
Hugh: Uh, yeah you do.
Mo: So you can mine this copper and there's some iron nearby. So...
Dylan: OK, I'll go get the iron. I got the iron.
Mo: Yes. There is a lot in this cave, Dylan. You should probably also make some torches.
Dylan: That would be useful, I think, maybe, not certain though. Oh hey, more uranium! Oh a zombie. Mo, do you want to take care of this zombie?
Mo: Hey Dylan, you should whisper. Because that is how you make videos.
Dylan: Shut up! It's not fair, you always record at night and I have to whisper.
Hugh: Hey, my name's Dylan. Hello. *whispering*
Mo: Are you whispering right now?
Dylan: No. Well I'm just saying a majority of the time.
Mo: Why aren't you whispering?
Dylan: I don't know.
Hugh: All of your fans that want that whispering, they're not getting it.
Mo: All of those Dora viewers. They're like, "Man this guy sure sounds unenthusiastic."
Hugh: Yeah, exactly.
Dylan: Shut up! Leave me alone! That Let's Play was good, it's just the people that were attracted to the Let's Play by search results are kinda not nice.
Hugh: Are you saying you are not a fan of children?
Dylan: It's not children! There are some very angry parents, and cousins, and sisters.
Mo: For the people that don't know, this is Jethrotex, and he did a playthrough of Dora on Youtube and you should watch it maybe.
Hugh: You should.
Mo: And you should watch it with your niece. And if you're watching with your niece, make sure she's wearing a helmet.
Dylan: Nonononono, I'm the helmet, supposedly, quote en quote.
Mo: Oh yeah. Because that's...  because helmet is a viable-
Dylan: Is a viable insult, yes it is.
Mo: Yeah. That's what happened, thank you. Hey, you should put the iron into the furnace there. Hey there's a wolf! Do you have any bones?
Dylan: I do not. I think Yoshi does.
Hugh: No, I don't have any.
Dylan: Oh.
Mo: Nooooo! Damn it! I used 4 bones and I didn't even tame it!
Dylan: I dunno, wolves are just annoying anyways. Just saying. I want one more. I'm gonna mine this uranium.
Mo: Alright.
Hugh: That's such a friendly thing to say! I'm just mining some uranium today, you know.
Mo: Do you already have 3?
Dylan: Yeah, I have 3. You can use the rest.
Mo: OK, well I'm gonna take this out of here and put this instead.
Dylan crafted an iron pickaxe, while Mo took the rest of the iron and started cooking some raw porkchops.
Dylan: I found uranium. Got it!
Mo: I'm gonna take all of this marble and make us some nice marble floor. There's also another one in like the main building.
Dylan: I might have like some form of radioactive cancer, oh no...
Mo: Thank you lab rabbit. Now we know that the uranium is not dangerous to mine.
Dylan: There you go, now you can just hold it with yourself.
Hugh: That's all he is.
Mo: You are a test bunny.
Dylan throws the uranium at Mo!
Mo: Oh no you threw it! Ahhhh! Aaaaahhhh!
Mo throws it back!
Dylan: I'm not touching that! I don't want anymore testicular stostrone!
Mo: Hahaha!
Hugh: OK then.
Mo starts mining a wall and finds a hidden passageway.
Mo: Hey Dylan, I found something! Look! Look! It's a secret!
Dylan: Oh wow, it's a crevice!
Mo: It's a secret cave of secrets!
Dylan: Oh God, there are spiders down there.
Mo: Wow this is scary.
Dylan: I think we should equip ourselves with much more cooked pork apparently, not iron.
Mo: Alright, put some iron in there. OK, there it is.
Dylan: Hey a spider's coming at us!
Mo: Hey, we should like make it kill.
Mo kills the spider.
Dylan: I don't even have a sword, I'm gonna wait for a sword. I'm gonna eat this apple, we didn't bring any food with us. Oh wait, I forgot you just said you had cooked pork. Heh.
Mo: I have 4 cooked pork. Yeah, you're dumb.
Hugh: So you're kinda screwed that you didn't bring any food?
Dylan: We brought some food.
Mo: No we're not. We're fine, YoshitoMario.
Dylan: I have 3 apples.
Hugh: Well I'm sorry.
Mo: We are fine, Hugh, Hugh Murrell. Whatever that is, it's not even a real name, it sounds like a Disney character.
Hugh: I am a Disney character.
Dylan: Yoshi sounds like a Disney character anyways. Listen to his voice, he sounds so cartoony. It's not even like you're from actual England, it's like you're from cartoon England.
Hugh: I am from cartoon England.
Mo: Hey, are you trying to make some kind of joke here?
Dylan: Am I trying to make some form of reference? Maybe.
Mo: No.
Hugh: Hmmm, what reference could it be?
Mo: Hahaha.
Dylan: Heh heh. Mo, where'd you go anyways? Mo do you wanna go in there? I have an iron sword now.
Mo: Uh, me too. Maybe.
Dylan: Let's wait for armor actually, cause I don't wanna.
Mo: I don't need armor.
Dylan: I do!
Mo: Armor is for pussies.
Hugh: OK, so what kind of ores have you collected? Cause I'll figure out what stuff we can make.
Dylan: I have 2 uranium, and a bunch of marble.
Mo: Iron.
Hugh: Uranium, don't even count uranium yet, cause we can't make anything with uranium just yet basically.
Mo: I found some iron, and I found some copper.
Hugh: Nice.
Mo: And I found some coppow.
Hugh: OK, did you get any nikolyte or rubies or emeralds?
Dylan: No, we have copper.
Mo: No, what's that?
Hugh: Try to find some emeralds.
Mo: Are they for like making emerald armor?
Hugh: Yeah, you make tools, but they're really good tools. And they're actually quite easy to find.
Mo: Should we be collecting a lot of copper? Cause I've found so much.
Hugh: Yeah dude, get as much copper as you can. We're gonna need it later on for building machines.
Dylan: What does marble do? Is it just decorative?
Hugh: I think it's just decorative, yeah. There may be uses for it, but I haven't really looked into it.
Dylan: I'd be willing to get some uh, some marble.
Mo: OK.
Hugh: Alright.
Dylan: Can we make like marble countertops and stuff, please?
Mo: Yes we can.
Dylan: I wanna cook.
Hugh: He's the ultimate housewife.
Dylan: Shut up. I like cooking, leave me alone!
Mo: Oh God, Dylan, you might want to watch out.
Dylan Oh a skeleton? I'll go kill him. I will cut you!
Mo: No no, not that. Like literally look down right now.
Dylan: Yeah, I think I saw that little hole that I didn't see. Is it lava? It's lava isn't it.
Mo: No it's not a hole, it's just a giant crevice thing.
Dylan kills the skeleton.
Dylan: You dead.
Mo: Like, ok look, just stand on this dirt bridge and then look down.
Dylan: Oh God.
Mo: Yeah.
Dylan: Weee.
Mo: There's another skeleton! He's gonna knock you off!
Dylan: Heh heh heh! Yoshi, you're calling me the housewife, and you're the one staying at home making the place look pretty while Mo and I are just off hunting these demons.
Hugh: Don't question me!
Mo: Demons and pirates are what I hunt, my name is Benjamin Franklin the 3rd.
Dylan: Demons and pirates and many other Mary Poppins songs. No wait, that was the Sound of Music I think. Yeah it was music.
Mo: What?
Dylan: You know that one song where it's like, Something and something and danuhnuhnuhnuh... or maybe it's How You Solve A Problem.
Mo: No.
Dylan: I have no idea. Either or.
Mo: Is it Eddie Murphy?
Dylan: The hills are live with the sound of music~
Mo: The Hills Have Eyes?
Dylan: No, they're alive.
Hugh: Oh no, that movie.
Dylan: I think it's even worse. I mean, The hills have eyes, but eyes can't hurt you. Unless they're like, giving you glaring self-esteem problems.
Continued in Chapter 3!
________________________________________________
Chapter 3
Homecoming
________________________________________________
Current Date: August 13th 2012
Days Stranded: 6
Last time on Tekkit, Mo and Dylan were in a cave mining. And Hugh was doing housework! Let's see what our handsome boys are up to...
Mo: Unless they're giant zombie demon mutant creatures like in the actual movie.
Dylan: Well you know, there's always that possibility.
Mo: Well they're not creatures, I guess they were human at some point, jeez. And then they had the radioactive. That's a good movie by the way.
Dylan: Ooh, I think I found rubies!
Mo: We recommend you watch The Hills Have Eyes, but don't watch the 2nd one because it's about death and no one likes that.
Dylan: Ew, is it really?
Mo: Well, kind of.
Dylan: That's like the one thing I can't stand in movies, is on screen.
Mo: That's stupid. Except it's like a mutant raping some army chick, and it makes it slightly more tolerable.
Dylan: The one thing I heard about was like the girl with the dragon tattoo, and I was like ugh I can never watch this movie. Which I mean, I don't really care because I don't watch movies, so... I was going to- ooh, I found emeralds, also!
Mo: Yeah, I found some emeralds, I found some. I have 3 emeralds.
Hugh: Um, I got sapphires.
Dylan: Mo, come over here, you should fill my achieving time. Come on.
Mo: Hold on, they're not as achieving as diamonds though.
Dylan: You found diamonds?
Mo: No.
Dylan: Oh.
Mo: I found 3 emeralds though, and I'm getting a lot more iron. We're gonna come back- Yoshi's just gonna recieve us with a nice home-cooked meal, and we're just gonna be too tired to even have like sex at all.
Dylan: Mo, get up here.
Mo: Oh God, I just knocked down my other torch.
Hugh: You can never be too tired. Not with Dylan, come on.
Dylan: Ew.
Hugh: OK, I'm getting some redstone.
Dylan: Mo, I made a nice spiral staircase for you- oh God! Mo, come this way. Mo, come this way.
Mo: What's up? What is there?
Dylan: OK, um, I was making a spiral staircase, but, um, I quite possibly messed it up. So, uh, you know, we're gonna have to just huff it ourselves.
Mo: Well there's still stuff here, why would you want to leave?
Dylan: Cause I wanna get this stuff. Come on.
Mo: Which stuff?
Dylan: I don't know. There's some stuff up here.
Mo: Oh like, you went upwards and there's stuff?
Dylan: Yeah. That's why I cleared the top part before we go to the bottom part.
Hugh: God, Mo, how could you not know this? I'm not there and I even know this. OK, I don't know this.
Dylan: Come on Moshi.
Mo: K, well I'm just gonna get all of this iron.
Hugh: Moshi? That sounds like a weird hybrid.
Mo: That is a weird hybrid, please don't ever say that.
Dylan: It's Mo X Yoshi Slash Fan Fic.
Mo: Noooo! God dammit Dylan, why did you have to say it?
Dylan: Where are you?
Mo: I am here in this cave.
Dylan: Fine, I'll just go get this stuff on my own.
Mo: Yes you should.
Dylan: I'll get this copper too.
Mo: I'm gonna leave this part of the cave unexplored, and like we can explore it later. Hi.
Dylan: Does that mean you're coming up here?
Mo: Yes I am coming inside you.
Dylan: Ew. Man, why can't we be more mature (Ah-dults) who have sophisticated humor and such?
Mo: Because we're not (Ah-dults). And it's not even (Ah-dults), it's (Uh-dults).
Hugh: It is (Uh-dults). I have to agree with you on that, Mo. And I'm from England, so, all my language is correct.
Mo: Canada is weird, and uh, is also- hey I just realized that. I guess I'm not technically... um, well technically I would be American. Um, how about literally not American, but we do have American, Canadian, and British language here.
Hugh: So you've got a wide range of everything, so you should be content at home.
Mo: How did I even say that?
Dylan: You have the correct one, the wrong one, and the stuck-up British version.
Hugh: Shut up you dick.
Mo: Yeah. It's not even stuck-up, it's just bad British.
Dylan: Yeah, I know. How is it like that the people who created the language can't even pronounce their own language?
Hugh: You have a face, and you should fix that.
Mo: Oh hey Dylan, I ran out of pick, so like, I need a new one.
Dylan: How come you're not using your iron pick?
Mo: Because it ran out already.
Dylan: Really?
Mo: Yes.
Dylan: Woooow.
Mo: I'm gonna try to find my way back to where we started.
Dylan: Here, do you want my stone pick in the meantime?
Mo: No, because stone picks sucks. How do I find my way back to where we started?
Hugh: Get lucky.
Dylan: Um, remember those bread crumbs we spread across the kingdom? Oh wait, the birds ate them, never mind.
Mo: Kingdom Hearts?
Dylan: Kingdom Hearts.
After some fumbling around, Mo finally managed to get out of the cave.
Mo: I'm outside, Dylan.
Dylan: Kitchens and sinks and everything in between~ Something and something... Were my favorite favorite things~
Hugh: Yeah, you're the ultimate housewife. You even got like a dainty tune that you sing around the house while cleaning and tending to your husband.
Dylan: Shut up! It's from that one song, or show. Sound of Music, I think.
Hugh: Yeah, it is.
Mo: OK Yoshi, I'm on my way home.
Dylan: Now I'm getting those 2 movies confused, I can't even tell the difference between Sound of Music and How do you Solve a Problem like Maria. I think they're the same thing anyways.
Mo: What the hell? Is what you're saying a movie?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Like how you solve a problem- what?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: That's too long for a movie title. How do you remember that?
Dylan: It's like a phrase, it's easy to memorize. Got it memorized?
Mo: No it isn't. And that was a terrible time to say that.
Dylan: No, it was very very memorable.
Mo arrives at the house, noticing that Hugh built windows and a roof for the house. He also noticed that their rubber tree was missing its leaves.
Mo: Yoshi why is our rubber tree naked?
Hugh: Um, I don't know. It's still growing stuff, leave it naked, it'll grow rubber back again I think. That's what you wanna do. I'm out getting some materials though.
Dylan: Ooh, more rubies.
Mo: Rubies? I like rubies. What about sapphire and emerald?
Dylan: I have some of those too.
Mo: Yes! Now we have Pokemon.
Hugh: Yeah, Pocket Monster.
Dylan: One sec.
Mo: What about 2 seconds?
Hugh: No, 5 seconds is correct.
Mo: Oh. Can I use a lifeline?
Hugh: Um... You know what, I'mma allow it. I'm gonna allow it this time, just this one time, but yes. So Mo, are you the housewife now?
Mo: No, I'm just making us some more furnaces.
Hugh: Well technically you are, cause I'm away, and Dylan's away.
Mo: I actually haven't been doing anything.
Dylan: Oh my God, my food- or my foot, sorry. It's asleep.
Mo: What? Your food is asleep?
Dylan: My foot is asleep, and I tried to stand up and I fell over.
Mo: Hey where did all of the glass go?
Hugh: Uh, I placed some down, and the rest I put in the chest.
Mo: You idiot, it was supposed to be glass panes.
Hugh: Actually it looks fine like that.
Mo: There actually is no glass in the chest.
Hugh: Uh, I definitely put it in there. Well no, there was just sand I think.
Dylan: What? What the hell did you do to this water? It's like oddly- oh shoot, that's not good at all. I may or may not have flooded the caves.
Mo: Woooow.
Hugh: Well that's good.
Mo: Did you exit out of my little dirt path?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: So you came out of this really awkward waterfall.
Dylan: Yeah, and then I had the urge to like cover it.
Mo: Wow. And now you've ruined everything.
Dylan: I fixed it. Yoshi, did you see that water?
Hugh: Uh, what water?
Dylan: Oh never mind, cause I swear I heard you yell at the exact same time.
Hugh: No, that wasn't me.
Dylan: I found pumpkins! I'm gonna harvest these pumpkins.
Mo: Yes, we can make a Steve Man.
Hugh: Oh yeah, the pumpkin.
Dylan: Don't you mean gray?
Hugh: I swear I saur some earlier as well.
Mo: Saur? What is saur? Like a dinosaur?
Dylan: I saur him. See look at that! How are you the creators of the English language when you can't even pronounce words?
Hugh: A dino saur.
Mo: I'm just going to make fun of your English.
Dylan: Mo, what's your coordinates?
Hugh: Don't make fun of me.
Mo: My coordinates are the house.
Dylan Yeah I know, but what are they? I don't know.
Hugh: So specific.
Mo: Just open your map and look for the circle.
Dylan: I-I I don't have the-
Mo: OK OK, if you're at the awkward waterfall, just walk to the other side, I can see you jumping around.
Dylan: You can?
Mo: Yes.
Dylan: I need to make my way to the circle jerk. ...Oh I see it I see it I see it, Mo! Aaaah! Hi Mo!
Mo: Where are you even?
Dylan: I'm right here.
Hugh: OK I'm coming behind.
Mo: Oh look, look what I have. Because I know you love them so much.
Mo was referring to the wolf he tamed near the circle jerk.
Dylan: Yeah they're great. Aw, it looks like a little apu.
Mo: Hey a chicken! Kill it!
Dylan: Hey a Yoshi! Kill it!
Hugh: Hello!
Hugh met up with Mo and Dylan at the house.
Mo: I already killed it.
Dylan: Hahahaha, you're just like... hahaha!
Mo: Hey guys, it's Yoshi!
Dylan: Hey guys, it's Yoshi!
Hugh: Hello, it's Yoshi! HEEEEEEELLLLLLOOO GUYS!
Mo: No!
Dylan: No!
Hugh: So enjoyable.
Dylan: Oh here's some sapphires and rubies. And some more iron and copper.
Hugh: Hey look at my fancy pickaxe, bitches!
Hugh made a pickaxe out of sapphires.
Dylan: You should probably make another chest.
Mo: Hey you didn't put them in the right order. It's ruby, sapphire, emerald.
Hugh: I be rollin' in that pickaxe, boy! Oh yeah...
Some time later...
Mo: Alright Yoshi, we have a lot of things and iron and such.
Hugh: We do.
Mo: And also copper. Hey we made a bigger chest.
Hugh: I don't think we need anymore copper now. I think we're pretty much safe.
Mo: All right. Let me fix this furnace cause it's facing the wrong way. There we go. OK we're good. So actually, I think, um, huh... I see this. I think there might actually be an entrance to the same cave we were in through here.
Hugh: OK well I've got all the spoils of my adventure in the chest, so take a look at that.
Mo: God, wolves are annoying. So, are we just going to make this our temporary home? Or are we actually going to do things here?
Hugh: Um, I'd say make it- I'd say do things here. Like if we dug underground and started to-
Mo: Why do you have a green sword?
Hugh: Oh look at my rainbow colors. I've got a blue pickaxe, a red shovel, a normal wood chopping axe, and a green sword.
Mo: What is nikolyte?
Hugh: Uh, nikolyte is kinda like dust you can use it for more machine creations. Uh, let me just see what we need first, so the first-
Mo: You can't place it with redstone though.
Hugh: The first thing we need to build is a generator- yeah I got loads of that, redstone is very valuable.
Mo: How do you build a generator? Do you need a machine?
Hugh: Uh, we need uh, a machine block which I'm gonna have soon, A furnace which is easy, and we need an RE battery which is a rechargable battery. And to get that... uh, I was crafting one of these earlier. We need copper cable, some tin, and redstone. So we're already- we just need copper cable really, and then we can create a generator.
Mo: We don't have tin, do we?
Hugh: Uh, yeah I got some earlier I think.
Mo: There's 13 tin ore, there's also 3 silver ore.
Hugh: Yeah, we only need 4 tin ore, so I'll do that. Uh and actually, let me just take the rubber... then in that case... and the copper. I can just do this, I can make a generator like right now.
Mo: Alright. Is the machine block refined iron?
Hugh: Yeah, I'm just creating the last block of that. Oh can I have the other blocks? I've got 7, and I need 8. Stealin' my blocks.
Mo: I put a bunch of iron- like, smelt iron.
Hugh: Yeah, but did you take 1 refined iron? Cause there was one left in there.
Mo: I have no refined iron right now.
Hugh: What?
Mo: I have 1 right now. Here.
Hugh: Yeah can I have it? That was the last one I need. We'll make some more.
Mo: Oh OK, then we don't need anymore.
Hugh: No, keep the refined iron going cause it's still really useful for loads of other stuff later.
Mo: Can you use it to make like refined iron armor?
Hugh: Yes. I think, um... I think you can.
Mo: What about refined iron tools?
Hugh: You're better off making stuff like ruby tools and sapphire tools, that's what I've got now.
Mo: Oh really?
Hugh: Yeah, they're really good, and they last a long time.
Mo: I didn't know they were good.
Hugh: Yeah man, they good, they good.
Mo: Alright, well I already have iron stuff, so whatever. So what are we going to try to make first?
Hugh: Uh, I'm making a generator. Could you make a batbox? Search that up in the thing. That's the next thing we need.
Mo goes through the pages of Too Many Items and finds the recipe for a batbox.
Mo: OK, batbox, it looks like dirt.
Hugh: We just need to get more rubber.
Mo: So a batbox... we need copper cable and 3 RE batteries. How do we get RE batteries?
Hugh: That's what I'm making now. So...
Mo: How do you make them? I wanna learn.
Hugh: We need some rubber, we're all out of bonemeal, and uh, we've just got no trees with it on right now. So we're kinda stuck, dude.
Mo: Uh, a battery is tin, redstone, and copper cable.
Hugh: I just need copper cable, and I just need loads of rubber for it, and that's all we're missing. The rest we can literally make, it's all good to go.
Mo: Alright, so we've gotta make an extractor, right?
Hugh: Yes.
Mo: OK. How do we make an extractor?
Hugh: Actually no, we just need a generator right now. Um, hold on...
Mo: No, the extractor's for like getting rubber out isn't it?
Hugh: Uh, you can do that. But, yeah. Yeah yeah, hold on... an extractor... um... we need 4 tree taps, I've got that, I've got a machine block-
Mo: Do we have an electronic circuit?
Hugh: Damn it! To get the electronic circuit, we need to have enough rubber so we can have one for the future. But right now, we need to get rubber the old way.
Mo: We can get rubber with furnaces.
Hugh: I need to find some rubber. I gotta get rubber! Actually, it's getting dark now, we could just um, wait for some skeletons to come out.
Mo: No you shouldn't, you shouldn't do that.
Hugh: Me?
Mo: Uh-huh.
Hugh: Yeah dude. OK, what we need to do-
Mo: Why do you need skeletons?
Hugh: We need skeletons cause we need to get bonemeal. Then we can grow the rubber trees, get a bunch load of rubber, from that rubber make an extractor that can exctract more from the rubber trees, and then in turn, make the batteries which we need to make the generator.
Mo: Do you have all our sticky resin currently?
Hugh: I do, yeah. We've only got 3 total.
Mo: We can try to find some actual rubber trees.
Hugh: No, I looked around. There's like only one around and I already saw that earlier, and that's got nothing left on it.
Continued in Chapter 4!
________________________________________________
Chapter 4
Explosions Everywhere
________________________________________________
Current Date: August 16th 2012
Days Stranded: 9
Last time on Tekkit, Mo and Hugh were on the hunt for rubber, and Dylan was- I don't even care.
Mo: You know what, I'm gonna find some.
Hugh: OK.
Mo started exploring a snowy biome.
Mo: These are just pine trees, these aren't rubber, so that kinda sucks.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Oh God, I probably should have made some armor.
Dylan: I'm back.
Mo: Hey.
Hugh: Hey.
Dylan: Oh? An emerald sword? What does that do?
Mo: Hey Dylan, welcome back. We were just talking about a bunch of nerd stuff, and you missed all of it.
Dylan: Yoshi, what the hell is an emerald sword?
Mo: It's a sword made of emeralds, are you dumb?
Hugh: Uh, it's a pretty powerful sword. And look, Dylan, I've got a ruby shovel, and a sapphire pick.
Dylan: What does that even do?
Hugh: They're like, they're more powerful. They last longer, they do more damage, they chop faster, I don't know, whatever they're meant to do.
Mo: I found a desert. Oh shoot I found some oil.
Dylan: Mo, where the hell are you?
Mo: I'm very far. I'm gonna get this oil, Yoshi. Do we ever need oil anytime soon or no?
Hugh: Not just yet.
Dylan: OK, what are your coordinates? I wanna head to you.
Mo: Very far away.
Dylan: What are your coordinates?
Mo: Very far away.
YOSHITOMARIO WAS BLOWN UP BY A CREEPER!
Hugh: OH!
Dylan: Good stuff, Mo.
Mo: Did our house blow up?
Hugh: No. It was away, it was just a Creeper.
Dylan: We should probably get beds. Also Mo, what are your coordinates?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Also Dylan, my coordinates are XLMNOPY.
Dylan: No Mo!
Mo: I'm not taking out my map, that takes too long.
Dylan: But it says it right under the map.
Mo: No, I turned it off. It's annoying.
Dylan: Wooooooow.
Hugh: You noob.
Dylan: Wooooow.
Mo: Sorry.
Dylan: Just press F3!
Mo: Uh, no thanks.
Dylan: Wooooooooow.
Mo started to get hurt by something.
Mo: What just hurt me?
Mo started to get hurt even more.
Mo: What is hurting me?
Mo started to feel great pain!
Mo: What is hurting me?!
MUNCHINGORANGE WAS PRICKED TO DEATH!
Mo: Wha?! Did- what?!
Dylan: Maybe if you uh- no-
Mo: It just says 'PRICKED TO DEATH!'
Dylan: You were hit by a cactus.
Mo: There was no cactus near me!
Dylan: Well you know what? Maybe if you told me where exactly you were-
Mo: Oh my God! Look at how many monsters there are!
Mo started running back to the house!
Dylan: I'm just gonna close that door.
Mo: OK Dylan.
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Where are you? Oh my God! More of them are spawning! Oh God! Hi? Um... oh no...
Dylan: Yoshi, don't bring that creeper in here.
Hugh: I won't.
Mo: This is so bad!
Hugh: Fuck!
Dylan: You dead.
Hugh: It blew right just before our furnaces, it's fine.
Dylan: Yeah, that's cool.
Mo started getting chased by 4 creepers! In a panic, Mo jumped into the circle jerk and started swimming for his life!
Mo: Hi! Oh God!
Hugh: Oh my God Mo! No! Don't bring them here! Don't bring them here!
Dylan: Mo come here! Mo, if you die we can salvage your death. But um, also we need your items.
Mo: Can you guys shoot them or something?
Dylan: Uh, we don't have, uh, things.
Mo: There's 4 of them after me! Hey Dylan, where are you?
Dylan: I'm in the house. Please don't come to the house though.
Mo: Would you kindly come outside of the house? Come follow me, follow me. We're gonna get my items back.
Dylan: Alright. Wait up.
Mo: Please run, because there's creepers everywhere.
Dylan: Why are there so many creepers? It's like specifically creepers.
Mo: Come this way.
Dylan: Where the hell are you?
Mo: Follow the coast to it.
Dylan: I see.
Mo: There was oil right here! I ran all the way to a desert to get some...
Dylan: I don't see you, Mo.
Mo: I followed the coast! It's not that hard!
Dylan: Oh, there you are.
Mo: Hi.
Dylan: I didn't know where you were!
Mo: Aah! Spider!
Dylan: Also a wolf. Hey look, oil!
Mo: Yeah. I ran all the way to a desert to get oil. Now I gotta get all my stuff back before it despawns apparently.
Dylan: You have like a few minutes, we're good.
Mo: I'm just gonna follow the coast.
Dylan: If I swim in oil, does that hurt me?
Mo: No. Oil is perfectly safe to swim in, children. Please do it at home.
Dylan: Don't encourage that type of behavior!
Mo: Sorry, please don't swim in oil. It's probably very dangerous for your brain.
YOSHITOMARIO WAS EATEN BY A ZOMBIE!
Hugh: Wow.
Dylan: Good stuff, Hugh. Maybe you should just um, go back home and uh, rebuild the house.
Hugh: Nah screw it, I'm getting my gear.
Mo: Is the house broken?
Dylan: The house is indeed broken.
Hugh: I'm the one who's relying on to build all the stuff.
Dylan: You have the recipe book.
Mo: So do you, Dylan. We all do!
Dylan: That's what I said, we don't need Yoshi.
Hugh: Yeah, but you don't know what stuff does.
Dylan: Yeah we do.
Hugh: No you don't.
Dylan: Have you ever heard of trial and error?
Hugh: Uh, no. Cause that shit fails.
Mo: Oh wow, there was apparently a cactus right next to me and I didn't even know it was there.
Dylan: Oh shoot, some of your items may have been destroyed by the cactus.
Mo: No they weren't.
Dylan: OK. I'm just saying...
Hugh: Just throwing it out there.
Mo threw cobblestone at the cactus to prove Dylan wrong.
Mo: Wait! Cactus destroy- what?!
Dylan: Yeah, I told you!
Mo: I didn't know that.
Dylan: Maybe you should've known that.
Mo: Well all of my good things weren't destroyed. How about that?
Dylan: That's good.
Mo: I don't know if I had a sword, but I no longer have one.
Dylan: OK.
Mo: Hey Dylan, here's what I have. Do you like this? Look at it, it is a delicious drink of beverages.
Mo took out a bucket full of oil and poured it near Dylan.
Dylan: Ah! Yummy!
Mo: Yay!
Dylan: Also, can I have some food please?
Mo: Um, uh, here, that's food. I threw it at you.
Mo gave Dylan some rotten flesh to eat.
Dylan: Thank you.
Mo: Ah! A spider!
Hugh: OK, so I've got enough bonemeal now. We can actually get this sticky resin going. We good.
Mo: Um... we should like make some- oh God creeper! Hi.
A creeper blew up near Mo!
Dylan: Oh I think your dog died.
Mo: I don't care about him anymore. I'm just running away.
Dylan: Nooo! I had to witness his death.
Mo: I don't even have enough food to run anymore!
Dylan: Well maybe you should have ate some of the wonderful rotten flesh you gave- oh shoot! This thing just jumped at me!
Mo: Heh. This is really bad. We need a farm or something, we need food basically.
Dylan: We need a food basics.
Mo: Do we have any seeds?
Dylan: Uh, no.
Hugh: No.
Dylan: Well we have a bunch of bonemeals, so that shall suffice. We can just eat people's round up bones.
Mo: Yes. That is a perfect thing that I was thinking of.
Dylan: Great!
Mo: Why did you say it with that voice?
Hugh: Great!
Dylan: That's Tony the Tiger.
Mo: Grrreeeat!
Dylan: Because I had something stuck in there, and I wanted to keep it stuck in there. You know, save it for later.
Hugh: Stuck in that everyday.
Dylan: I hate snow biomes, why do they suck? Oh shoot.
Mo: I am almost back at the house. Oh my God, there's like a volcano over there!
Dylan: What?
Hugh: Ooh, we will have to go check that out.
Mo: Yeah, there's like a volcano off in the distance. Like, look it's right there! Oh my God. There is literally a volcano next to our house!
Not exactly. The volcano was in the ocean, to the northwest.
Dylan: I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die.
Mo: Godammit creepers!  Really? Oh my God! They're like right in our house! Get out of here!
A creeper started chasing Mo, and Mo fled into a small cave.
Mo: Oh God, I'm gonna die. No! Uh! No, leave! Bye. Get out.
Mo sealed the cave up with dirt making him safe.
Dylan: I'll kill it.
Mo: Yoshi, can you kill the creeper in your little mine?
Hugh: Hold up, I'm gonna try to block the house up.
Mo: Oh no!
JETHROTEX WAS BLOWN UP BY A CREEPER!
Dylan: That may or may not have been the smartest thing I have ever done.
Mo: Oh, that wasn't even me.
Hugh: OK, the house is safe I guess.
Mo managed to create an opening in the dirt so he could sneak attacks on the creeper.
Hugh: Mo's stuff is-
Mo: Hey, I'm killing him.
Dylan: That's me.
Hugh: -outside the window.
Dylan: That's me.
Hugh: Oh, Dylan's stuff is out there.
Mo managed to kill the creeper that was stalking him.
Mo: Ha! I killed him! Ha! I did it! I am a pro at this! I killed the creeper, and now I am safe.
Dylan: This isn't very like, in any way climatic if we just keep dying. We should probably stop doing that.
Mo: Don't worry, it'll be climatic. Damn it, I'm dying of hunger now. This is pretty bad. Um, also Dylan, your items are kind of being attracted towards me.
Mo entered the house and noticed the left wall was covered by dirt.
Mo: Wha- wow, you fixed the house with dirt.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: That makes a lot of sense. We don't have any seeds at all? What the hell? Oh God.
Mo looked out the window and saw a creeper chasing after Dylan.
Dylan: Oh God! Nononononononononononono!
Mo: Give me some food, ho! Give me some food, ho!
Hugh: Uh, do I have any left? Let me see...
Dylan: No! No!
An explosion was heard outside!
Dylan: Shhhhiiii! He blew up all of my items!
Mo: He did?
Dylan: Yeah...
Mo: Oh wow.
Hugh: Oh no. This is uh...
Mo: This is pretty good. This is going well. I think we should expand our house and actually make it not, like actually light it up so that shit doesn't kill us over and over. So should I make an emerald or... Yoshi, what color is your sword?
Hugh: Um, my sword is green.
Mo: OK, well I will make mine Mo, so red I guess is close enough.
Hugh: OK, do it.
Mo: OK, I made a red sword. Dylan, you can make one out of blue.
Dylan: OK, thank you.
Hugh: Make one out of the color blue. Lovely.
Some time later...
Hugh: Well things are looking up, cause I managed to get a bunch load of sticky resin so I can actually get this going now.
Mo: Wow, look at how broken our house is.
Hugh: Just a little bit. Heh.
Dylan: Well you know what, some people don't even have houses, Mo. Maybe you should be a little bit more fortunate.
Hugh: That is a good point, Dylan. Keeping us, on the perspective of the world, you know.
Dylan: Shut up.
Hugh: Shut up.
Dylan: All of my items are gone... wow. Come out here skeleton, fight me like a man! Well you know what? I'm just gonna break those leaves above your head. You know what, what are you gonna do about that? What are you gonna do about that? Whatchu gonna do about that? Huh?
Hugh: Whatchu gonna do about that?
Dylan: How do you like that sunlight? How do you like that sunlight?That's right, you're burning! ...I don't think he liked that very much.
Mo grows a ton of rubber trees with bonemeal, and collects a ton of rubber. Some time later in the night, Mo and friends were in the house.
Mo: There's a skeleton right outside our house. This is just great.
Dylan: In our lovely abode.
Mo: Maybe I'll use my- hey! I wanted to use my lovely new ruby sword to kill him!
Hugh: But it is nighttime, there's going to be a lot of things right now. There's a spider in the water, and there's another one out there.
Mo: Uh, what was I doing? Oh yeah, we need to fix stuff, because the house blew up a lot.
Dylan: I don't know what you're talking about, this place looks lovely.
Mo: Are you kidding me? Come on.
Dylan: No.
Mo: Get for real here. We need to place torches everywhere because...
Dylan: Everyone subscribe to the Mo Show.
Mo: Hi. Yup, the Mo Show, subscribe. So yeah, uh, torches, they exist apparently. I didn't know that.
Hugh: Apparently so.
Dylan: Wait really?
Mo: Yeah. Zombies and creepers keep sneaking up on us and killing things.
Dylan: Stop getting in my way, Yoshi.
Mo: Can you guys give me some sand?
Hugh: You're getting in my way.
Dylan: I have sand in my hand.
Mo: Hey look, it is a spider.
Hugh: Yo, I've got some sand in my hand! Place it on the ground!
Mo: Dirt in my pants!
Hugh: Dirt in my pants!
Mo: And squirrels. Squirrel's in my pants!
The 3 of them start patching up the areas that creepers exploded on.
Dylan: You create a rubber tree, and you make an animatronic woman out of it. No I'm out of sand!
Mo: What?
Hugh: Why don't you get some more then?
Mo: What are you even talking about? Do you like women?
Dylan: No.
Mo: I get the feeling that you do.
Hugh: Yeah he does. OK, I'm gonna do some monster killin', get some experience.
YOSHITOMARIO WAS BLOWN UP BY A CREEPER!
Hugh: Huh.
Mo: That is some great monster hunting right there going on.
Hugh: Hahaha.
Dylan: It's like Yoshi is the real deal.
Hugh: Yeah dude.
Continued in Chapter 5!
________________________________________________
Chapter 5
Lynching of the Trees
________________________________________________
Current Date: August 18th 2012
Days Stranded: 11
Last time on Tekkit, explosions were everywhere. Hugh and Dylan were currently working on expanding their house, it was expanded to the left.
Mo: Why are there all of these monsters- or not monsters- wolves around our house?
Mo started clearing out the sand that was in their newly expanded house.
Dylan: Ow, you dug my foot, and then my feet.
Mo: What do you mean?
Dylan: I was on top of that brick and I fell.
Mo: Cough, cough... I'm constantly having to look to the right because I cough in my shoulder. I just- wow. I just uh, deleted this sand in order to put wood, and then I just replaced it with sand again. Because I'm smart.
Hugh: Oh my God.
Dylan: That's how this works.
Mo: Look! There's a wolf in here! Why are there- what?
Hugh: I've had someone comment on my videos once about Minecraft. "I get bored of Yoshi's Minecraft sometimes. All he does is destroy things and build things!"
Mo: What do you mean? Like he has his own videos where he just destroys things?
Dylan: Hey Yoshi, maybe you should stop complaining about things, huh?
Hugh: Oh wow.
Dylan: You should be thankful for what you have.
Mo: Cough...
Hugh: Wow. Look at these guys turning on me.
Mo went outside and was about to cut down a tree, but a creeper snuck up behind him and exploded on him!
Mo: OH!
MUNCHINGORANGE WAS BLOWN UP BY A CREEPER!
Dylan: Pfft.
Hugh: Jesus Christ.
Dylan: Did you blow up the house? I'm more concerned about the house than you.
Mo: I think so.
Hugh: Oh wow. Priorities straight, right there.
Dylan: You're welcome.
Hugh: I'm sad I missed that.
Mo: Aw man, this kinda sucks.
Dylan: Don't worry, your items are still there. Unless a creeper blows up on them.
Hugh: OK so I think it's this way...
Mo hurried back to the house.
Dylan: Mo, maybe if you weren't a fish, you'd understand.
Mo: I am not a fish! OK? I am a turtle, I've told you this before many times.
Dylan: Oh boy, reeds! I'm going to plant reeds across the water.
Mo: Oh OK, well my stuff blew up here, so I guess that's not terrible. However, there is another hole in the landscape to fill up. So that's unfortunate.
Dylan: Aaaah!
Dylan started fighting a zombie.
Dylan: Die. You don't belong in this world. Unless you do. Show me your papers.
Mo: Do any of you maybe want to plant some more rubber trees?
Hugh: Do we have any saplings?
Dylan ran up and started attacking Hugh with his sword!
Mo: Um, what the? What are you doing? Wow.
Hugh: Whoa!
Dylan: Nothing.
YOSHITOMARIO WAS KILLED BY JETHROTEX!
Mo: I just picked up an emerald pickaxe.
Hugh: You saw that, people!
Dylan: No you didn't. I don't know what the hell you guys are talking about. There is a zombie behind you, and I was trying to hit it.
Hugh: Oh Dylan, THANK YOU. *SARCASM*
Mo: Oh look, rubber tree saplings... arrows... alright, um, we need some dirt. Oh there's some dirt that we can use.
Hugh: I always see zombies behind you. And so the rivalry begins sir! Yes.
Mo: Oh look, they're like a married couple.
Dylan: Yoshi, your stuff is in this, you know the stuff I saved for you, cause you almost died.
JETHROTEX WAS KILLED BY YOSHITOMARIO!
Dylan: Oh.
Mo: Where the hell did my tree tap go?
Hugh: Attack from above! Attack from above! What up!
Mo: Where did my tree tap go?
Dylan: Yeah, that doesn't really count. Because I was just, you know, putting stuff in a chest.
Hugh: That does count! I dropped in through the roof, through the glass ceiling you so lovingly built for me.
Mo: Does anyone know where my tree tap went?
Dylan: You broke my glass!
Hugh: Hey, I'm not responsible for any property damages that may occur.
Mo: I guess not.
Dylan: What did you say Mo?
Mo: My tree tap. Does anyone have it?
Hugh: Uh, I have it, yeah. Well, maybe I have my own one then.
Mo: No it's okay, I'm gonna go plant some more rubber saplings.
Some time later...
Dylan: Mo, there is a tree tap in here.
Mo saw that Hugh cut off all of the leaves from the rubber tree, leaving only the ones at the top of the trunk.
Mo: You're a dick, you just like, you just completely deforested all of these... look at that, what did you just do to it?
Hugh: Cause that's... hahahahaha!
Mo: That had a magnificent afro, and you just completely deflowered it.
Hugh: I gave it a buzzcut. Heh.
Mo: I guess that wasn't the right term, I'm sorry.
Dylan: You deflowered its manhood.
Hugh: Haha! Now that you're putting it like that, I'm seeing this in a really dirty way! I'm not liking this.
Mo: What the hell is wrong with you?
Hugh: Heh heh.
Dylan: Yeah Yoshi, get out.
Mo: I'm gonna plant another one right here.
Hugh: Dylan, do you like my tree? Hahahaha!
Dylan I don't see it, what?
Hugh: Look up. Hahahaha!
Mo: Oh my God.
Dylan: It looks like a cigarette.
Mo: It just looks like a popsicle or something.
Hugh: It looks like a fag. Looks like a fag.
Mo: No it doesn't look like a fag cause this isn't Britian.
Hugh: Haha.
Mo: If it were American-
Hugh: For those of you wondering, I am not insulting homosexual people, I have nothing against homosexual people.
Dylan: Yes he does. He's a raging homophobe.
Hugh: No I don't Dylan! Heh, I've got a raging- what? Um, in Britian, we call cigarettes fags. Well, some people do.
Dylan: You just like hurt yourself.
Mo: You admitted in a Skype call that you don't. So you just pretty much screwed yourself over.
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: I don't call them fags.
Mo: Exactly. So...
Hugh: Yeah I don't, but some people do.
Mo: OK, so you don't call them fags, so what were you calling the tree there?
Hugh: I was calling it a shaved penis.
Dylan: Yoshi, get out.
Hugh: Hahaha!
Mo: I don't want you on this series anymore.
Hugh: Oh God, heh.
Mo: Do you have any dirt?
Dylan: Yes I do have dirt.
Hugh: Uh, yeah I've got some dirt.
Mo: Alright, well I don't care.
Dylan: No, Mo Mo Mo Mo!
Mo: What?
Dylan: Let me throw some dirt on your wounds.
Mo: Yo wassup baby gurl? Baby gurl, give me some dirt, gurl. Just throw it all! This is so annoying! Alright, well we're just gonna, uh, I gotta look at the time here let's see...
Dylan: Done.
Mo: Sticky resin- oh thank you.
Hugh: Yeah, Mo, how much sticky resin have you got? Cause we need to make some more copper cables as well.
Mo: Ready? I have 2.
Hugh: Whoa dude, that's intense.
Dylan: But in the chest I have 15.
Hugh: I've got a massive 1 of sticky resin.
Dylan: I have 15.
Hugh: Oh OK, Dylan's packing.
Mo: Dylan's packing that sticky shit.
Dylan: I'm packing some Miami yeah! Cause basketball's the best video game.
Mo: It is?
Hugh: Welcome to Miami, denenenene!
Mo: Welcome to Miami, bitch.
Hugh: I can't remember how the rest of that Will Smith song goes. But all I know is-
Dylan: Welcome to Miami, my hair puts it down forth whip your hair back and forth!
Hugh: I whip my hair back in Miami!
Mo: You mean the Fresh Prince song? That one?
Hugh: No no, it was like another one he made. It was like a solo kind of thing.
Mo: Cause the Fresh Prince definitely wasn't solo.
Hugh: The heat is on all night in the beach and then take a break is on! Welcome to Miami! Denenenene!
Dylan: Aren't you making this into a dock?
Mo: Cough... not anymore.
Dylan: Why not?
Mo: Cause youse a ho.
Dylan: No I's ain't. I's always be faithful to the-
Hugh: Cause I'm a ho!
Mo: No, Dylan's a ho.
Dylan: No I'm not.
Mo: A big strong wooden one.
Hugh: I love those type.
Dylan: There is a wild wolf in our house, it might kill us in our sleep.
Hugh: Why don't you befriend it?
Dylan: Speaking of sleep, we need beds.
Hugh: Make it all sexy.
Mo: Huh, we don't need beds. Beds are overrated.
Dylan: It's staring at me.
Mo: Talk about Yoshi. He's like, he says he's going to bed, and then he goes to McDonalds.
Hugh: Dude, McDonalds is my bed, that's what I don't tell you. That's the thing, I eat, and then I go to sleep where I eat.
Mo: Freaking fatty.
Hugh: Hey I get hungry.
Mo: What are you, 90 pounds? Like a little girl? A 90 pound little child, is that what you are?
Hugh: Hahaha, you made fun of my weight.
Mo: Yeah, I'm making fun of you you skinny little boy.
Dylan: He's a girl.
Mo: Oh yeah.
Hugh: Shut up, that was one picture!
Mo: You're a demon girl.
Dylan: Demon girl?
Hugh: One picture, but Dylan caught me in a really bad moment. Readers, I can assure you, I'm actually not-
Dylan: Yoshi stop talking to them! Stop trying to get them on your side! Stop brainwashing them! You cult.
Hugh: Well then subscribe to me. I have good stuff.
Dylan: No he doesn't.
Mo: What? You have terrible stuff. What do you do on your channel, you play Minecraft with yourself, and a Yoshi which is a fictional character.
Hugh: Hey! Yoshi is real!
Mo: And occasionally you play Nintendo games, big freaking deal.
Dylan: Occasionally too, it's like once every 4 moons.
Hugh: Once every 40 moons? It's actually like 3 times a week, but hey.
Mo: He said 4. Did you not even listen? He said 4, not 40.
Hugh: OK, well I do apologize.
Some time later...
Dylan: Noooo, you ruined the circle jerk, you took out parts of the sand with a creeper, and now it's not-
Mo: Where?
Dylan: Over here.
Mo: Oh no! We gotta fix that, dude.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Like, literally, that's our top priority now. I have sandstone and I don't have any sand.
Dylan: I will go get sand.
Mo: Alright, I'm gonna plant some reeds here.
Hugh shaved all of the rubber trees leaving only the leaves on top.
Hugh: OK, I've finished farming these trees... pffffttt...
Dylan: Keep farming, Yoshi.
Hugh: Oh my God, the trees look so dumb!
Mo: Look at that- what is wrong with our tree farm?
Hugh: Pffhahaha! Hahahahha!
Dylan: You have a tree farm?
Mo: There's one right here that isn't shaved.
Dylan: This is the worst possible looking thing we've ever had.
Hugh: Hahahahahhaha!
Mo: This ones still not shaved, Yoshi. You should probably shave it.
Hugh: Hahahahahahahahahahaha! I don't know why I find these so funny!
Mo: Because- you are- what is wrong with you?
Dylan: I only have 4 sand. Nooo.
Hugh: Haaahaaahaaaaa! I'm genuinely cracking up right now! This is amazing!
Dylan: Are you making a disco floor, Mo?
Mo: No, I'm getting wood.
Hugh: Oh my God... oh there's a mini one here, I need to shave the mini!
Mo: Mini? Like Minnie Mouse?
Hugh: Shave my Minnie Mouse! Hahahaha oh fucking hell! That's awesome!
Dylan: I need a shovel.
Hugh: Mo, you did an inferior job of shaving this tree, seriously.
Mo: I'm sorry. I can't shave it like the British apparently.
Hugh: Heh.
Dylan: How do I make a dirt shovel?
Hugh: I can't shave it like the British. Oh God.
Mo: Hahaha!
Dylan: See, it's funny because-
Mo: Have you guys noticed the obvious volcano over here by the way?
Dylan: There's a volcano?
Hugh: Yeah. There's always an obvious volcano.
Dylan: Oh yeah, I saw that.
Mo: Well, it's like it's just off in the coast enough so that we can't see it, but we should go to it eventually, but not yet.
Dylan: Well you know what? Maybe if we had a dock, we could set some boats out, and swim there.
Mo: You know what I just realized? Maybe our circle jerk doesn't have to be a circle jerk.
Dylan: Yeah, I know.
Mo: Maybe it can be it's own jerk.
Dylan: No, it has to be.
Mo: And that way, our dock can actually serve as a dock.
Dylan: No Mo, set up the dock over here, and that way we can just go straight off, and it can still be a circle.
Mo: No, cause I want it to be like Pearl Harbor, except not blown up.
Hugh: Wow.
Mo: What's the Pirate's of the Caribbean one freaking called? Port Royal or some shit like that.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: But instead you said Pearl Harbor.
Mo: Shut up! Same concept! OK? You set boats out from it, and planes.
Hugh: Mo, Mo, Mo, just stop.
Mo: There's planes and boats and you set them out.
Hugh: Mo, Mo, Mo, Mo, Mo.
Mo: Hey! What are you doing to my circle jerk?! Leave it the way it was you little dick!
Dylan: What do you mean yours? It's ours!
Mo: Look, we set out from right here. Except we need sand to fix up this part. Give me your sand.
Dylan: Nooo! Poor dog, he's dying!
Mo: He's not dying. The dog is fine, Dylan. Leave him alone.
Dylan: He's drowning in water.
Mo: No he isn't! You just imagining it.
Hugh: So our tree farm's looking uh, lovely.
Mo: Wha? Y-you- you shaved the birch tree too?!
Hugh: Hahahahahaha!
Mo: This is unacceptable! I will not tolerate dicks of this white nature!
Hugh: Hey!
Mo: Hey leave my dick tree alone! Actually it's your dick tree.
Dylan: I need to mine some sand.
Mo: I'm not going to coin that, it's your dick tree. Not mine. If any of you ever want to refer to dick trees as dick trees, just keep in mind it was Yoshi's idea.
Hugh: Yeah they're always mine.
Dylan: Does shaving them actually have a purpose?  Or are you just-
Mo: Yeah, we get more saplings.
Hugh: Uh, with rubber trees it genuinely does. Um, because if you shave upwards, rubber is gonna grow on more of the trunk.
Mo: Which just sounds fabulous.
Hugh: Yeah, you know. Uh, but the other ones I'm just shaving cause you know, we need to keep the theme going on here, we're all going Brazillian.
Mo: W-what?
Dylan: Yoshi, you have like five hundred thousand other trees to go shave.
Hugh: Yeah don't worry, I'm getting to them, I'm getting to them.
Mo: I'm gonna make some fences.
Dylan: You should probably get some shears while you're at it.
Hugh: You know that's a good idea.
Dylan: Hey you know what we still haven't done?
Mo: What?
Dylan: Torches.
Mo: Yeah, I'm making fences right now for it.
Hugh: Wow, we actually haven't.
Dylan: What is the light in this room even from? Oh, it's from outside, that's right, OK.
Mo: I wanna do it right now, but- oh God there's another creeper already. Look at how many skeletons there are! Where did my ruby sword go anyway? Cause I can't even find it anymore.
Hugh: Ruby sword? I've got a ruby sword.
Mo: You had an emerald one yesterday. I wonder where mine went!
Hugh: I gave Dylan- I dropped my emerald sword down here when I attacked him from above, and for some reason I thought I had that.
Mo: Well you know what I'm just stealing this stuff because I have no idea where it came from and I'm just gonna steal it.
Hugh: That's what happened, yeah, OK, I've got yours. Dylan's got mine.
Mo: Fine I'll just use yours, and now I have a Rayquaza sword.
Dylan: I don't have yours, it's in the chest.
Hugh: Oh, OK. Well now Mo's got mine so we basically just switched. That's hot.
Mo: That is hot dude, switching swords.
Continued in Chapter 6!
________________________________________________
Chapter 6
The Marble Quarry
________________________________________________
Current Date: August 20th 2012
Days Stranded: 13
Last time on Tekkit, our heroes lynched trees and did other stuff. Let's check up on them...
Dylan: I'm going to the volcano.
Mo: We can't even go yet we don't have a- we need a boat you idiot!
Dylan: No!
Mo: Yes!
Dylan: I will find a way! I have no items on me, I have nothing to lose!
Mo: Oh God I'm gonna die. No, don't kill me.
Dylan: Wait, what the hell?
Mo: I befriended a wolf. Help me battle.
Dylan: Didn't we do this before, and we already got annoyed at the wolf?
Mo: Cough... No. That did not happen, what are you talking about?
Dylan: This is a lovely volcano, I like this place.
Mo: I'm gonna set up torches everywhere.
Dylan: Jump~ jump~ jump~ jump~ jump~ jump~ jump~ lali hop~ jump~ jump~ jump~
Mo: Away creeper! You shall not pass from the torches. This is gonna be like the Lost Island where they put up a perimeter of like, electromagnetic things.
Dylan: Oh, when I thought you said Lost Island I thought you meant like the island itself was lost.
MUNCHINGORANGE WAS EATEN BY A ZOMBIE!
Mo: Oh my God!
Hugh: Cause you know, that makes sense as well.
Mo: Well the Lost Island is lost, that's why it's called Lost. Because no one can ever find it.
Dylan: No no, the people are lost, but you know, the island itself has been found by other people who are- oh God I stepped into the volcano.
Mo: No one important ever found it. George Clinton, he never found it.
JETHROTEX TRIED TO SWIM IN LAVA!
Dylan: Um, that didn't happen.
Hugh: That's what you think.
Mo: There's a pink creeper.
Dylan: I'm glad we're dying multiple times. But you know, I went there with the intent of dying, so...
Mo: You know what I've realized? From literally the path from the spawn to our circle jerk, there are like 20 holes.
Dylan: Heh. It's because we die while trying to back- ooh sand!
Mo: No! Don't blow up! Thank you.
Hugh: Uh, that was just by me, it's fine.
Mo: No no, there's another one here, I don't want him to blow up, I want to actually-
Hugh: Oh yeah.
Mo: -there we go, I got him, I got him.
Dylan: Oh God the spider is attacking me.
Hugh: Don't have it attack you.
Mo: I'm gonna keep setting torches.
Dylan: Well you know what, maybe if I had my spider control- oh God oh God oh God! No, no not at the circle jerk- aw.
JETHROTEX WAS BLOWN UP BY A CREEPER!
Mo: OK well you blew up in the middle of it, it's fine.
Dylan: So, um...
Hugh: No! Get out of my fucking way!
Mo: Stop messing up our circle jerk guys.
Hugh: Oh my God...
Dylan: Don't worry, he was in water, we're cool, we're cool.
Hugh: OK I'm really low on health, and I need some food. And there's no food in here.
Mo: I have an idea, die and respawn.
Some time later...
Dylan: Having a wonderful time with that spider?
Hugh: Oh yeah.
Dylan: It's good, good for you, cornflakes, Tony the Tiger.
Mo: Theeeeey're great!
Dylan: Heh. You come all the way around, and then you just let a skeleton into the house, and then walk out the other door.
Hugh: Hahaha. Could that've- ahhh!
YOSHITOMARIO WAS SHOT BY A SKELETON!
Hugh: Could that have been purposeful to get you hurt, Dylan? Hm.
Mo: Are we literally just dying over and over? We should really really consider making some beds.
Dylan: We should also consider not dying.
MUNCHINGORANGE WAS SHOT BY A SKELETON!
Mo: Great. Don't go out of the house, cause my stuff is literally right outside of it.
Dylan: OK.
Mo: Oh my God.
Hugh: Aaahh!
YOSHITOMARIO WAS BLOWN UP BY A CREEPER!
Mo: And there goes another hole.
Hugh: Hahaha.
Dylan: Ha. Oh my God, OK, this is like the worst possible thing.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Cough... this is the best series, what are you talking about? We're definetily surviving, that's for sure.
Dylan: I know. Where'd you get all of this iron- oh wait, never mind.
Hugh: We're survivin' like a boss.
Mo: Dylan we actually found a lot of iron before.
Dylan: Yeah I know, I remember.
YOSHITOMARIO WAS BLOWN UP BY A CREEPER!
Hugh: Oh God dammit!
Mo: Really? You can't even make it to the house? Do you suck that bad?
Dylan: Yoshi, how is your entire channel based around Minecraft when you can't even make it back to the house?
Hugh: Hey I can get back to the house anytime I want.
Mo: Oh God there is a creeper.
Dylan: You know what we also need? Less monsters, I think that would help.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: How do we get less monsters?
Dylan: There is a spider on top of- there are 2 spiders on top of the roof.
Mo: I need some torches, do you have anymore?
YOSHITOMARIO WAS SHOT BY A SKELETON!
Dylan: And there goes 4 times for Yoshi.
Mo: And there goes... yup. He cannot even literally make it to the house.
Hugh: I can make it back to the house, I'm just dying repeatedly for the lulz.
Dylan: No you're not.
Mo: You're not you freaking liar. Dylan, there's 4 spiders on top of the house.
Dylan: Oh. Well that's twice the amount.
Mo: I've gotten rid of 2 of them. And now 3, and now 4. There we go.
Dylan: There's a dog in the house.
Mo: I have now rid the house of spiders.
Dylan: I'm gonna name you Sparky. Hey Sparky.
Mo: Oh God!
A creeper blew up behind the house leaving a giant hole behind!
Dylan: Yeah, that may not be the most beneficial thing to our humble abode.
Mo: Why does this continue to happen?
Dylan: Maybe if this happened less.
Mo: Maybe if we just went to sleep when it turned night.
Dylan: Hey look, Yoshi actually got- Yoshi stop hitting me.
Hugh: That's for killing me!
Dylan: K good. You got your revenge by punching me twice very inconviently and then allowing me to get my health restored cause I had full hunger.
Hugh: I did.
Dylan: Dammit Mo!
Mo: What?
Dylan: You like doubled up on the pup. No!
Mo: Huh?
Dylan: I dunno. It's uh, British for a dog.
Hugh: Is it?
Dylan: I have no idea.
Mo: A pup named Scooby-Doo?
Dylan: I don't know your cultures.
Hugh: You don't know my country.
Mo: Why did you do that in like an Indian accent?
Dylan: You don't know your culture. That sounds exactly like- that really bad Indian accent sounds like Bane.
Mo: Sorry I didn't watch this movie yet, you shouldn't spoil it.
Dylan: Oh OK, so there's homeless people.
Mo: There's homeless people in the Batman movie?
Dylan: Well there's always homeless people.
Mo: No there aren't, Gotham City is homeless-free.
Dylan: Pffft... I don't know why I found that funny.
Mo: Cause you're an idiot.
Hugh: It's official guys, Dylan laughs at homeless people.
Some time later... Mo finished building a dock.
Hugh: Um, I think we should build like an automated quarry so we can get loads of stone and uh, materials.
Mo: How do we do that?
Hugh: Uh, well we need to go have a massive massive session of mining so we can get enough materials to make some advanced stuff. The stuff we need in our list is in a big cave session.
Dylan: I also think that we shouldn't keep doing this to those poor trees.
Mo: Trees are OK, they are enjoying this, Dylan.
Dylan: I dunno man, might be too breezy for them. Easy breezy beautiful clover stunfish.
Mo: Stunfish? Or Stunfisk?
Dylan: Wow. Same thing.
Mo: It's not.
Dylan: It's a fish that stuns you.
Mo: Completely different actually.
Dylan: It's beauty is so alluring.
Hugh: Oh yeah.
Dylan: Excuse me.
Mo: It's the most beautiful fish in the world.
Hugh: Yeah how can you not see that?
Mo: Let's go have a massive circle jerk session.
Dylan: It's the most beautiful fish in the world, servin' it up, to a girl~ Alright.
Mo: Are we ready to have the most intense mining session that has ever happened in the world ever?
Dylan: OK, now let's make a 2nd chest. I've got some wood, I'm gonna make something in the hood.
Mo: Place it here where I am jumping.
Dylan: I know that cause then it would be equidistant from the previous endeavorish chest.
Hugh: Really? You gotta say that?
Dylan: What?
Hugh: Equidistant.
Dylan: Yeah, cause it is, Yoshi. I'm sorry you don't know words that are fork.
Mo: I love forks. Forks are my favorite word.
Hugh: I like forks.
Dylan: I love forks.
Mo: Oh look Yoshi, some more trees.
Dylan: Yoshi, you know what? We're gonna have an intense mining session, you just work on those trees, thanks.
Hugh: No I'm coming, I'm coming.
Dylan: No, no you're not.
Hugh: But you gotta admit, the trees are lookin' pretty fine!
Mo: This is actually good. Dude, shaving the trees are amazing because more rubber can grow on them.
Dylan: See I got it, Yoshi is a homophobe! He's making these trees so he can lynch them, oh my God... Yoshi!
Mo: What the hell is going on?
Hugh: Haha! I'm sorry.
Mo: You don't have to do it to the birch trees though. Poor birches, they're white. What did they ever do to you?
Hugh: You should see my inventory, like, it's just leaves and leaves and leaves.
Mo: Did you literally make shears just to do this to the freakin' trees?
Hugh: No I made 2 pairs of shears.
Dylan: You wasted our iron?
Hugh: Yeah, maybe. Anyway, I'm all set to go on a trip, you guys commin'?
Mo: Yup, I'm gonna put some shit in the chest and then go.
Hugh: Uh, who's got my divining rod?
Mo: We don't have one of those.
Hugh: Well you ditched it.
Mo: You cheated for it, so we just deleted it.
Hugh: I didn't cheat for it! No shit!
Mo: Yeah you did!
Hugh: I seriously didn't!
Mo: We haven't found any diamonds, Yoshi! How can you not cheat for it?
Hugh: I found a diamond!
Mo: Well that's you, not me. OK?
Hugh: Wow, that's a little biased.
Dylan: Wait, so did the divining rod go away yet? Cause I just threw it into the water. Aw, I should have brought it to the volcano and sacrificed it.
Mo: We can do that later. When our Port Harbor is finished.
Dylan: OK, we'll sacrifice the virgin Yoshi.
Hugh: Sacrifice the divining rod that Yoshi worked oh so hard to create.
Dylan: Anyways, let's um...
Hugh: Let's go, let's go cavin'!
Dylan: Wait wait, OK what do I need with me? I haven't done this in a long time.
Hugh: You need a sword, you need a pickaxe, you need some torches, food preferably, I've already got 2 apples but I can't find any food.
Mo: I don't have any food.
Dylan: Let's go food hunting first.
Hugh: Yeah, let's go get some food first. Well actually no, take all of your stuff, take all of your stuff, cause then we can like, when we find pigs once we've got it we can just go straight down.
Dylan: OK, I've got 3 stacks of cobblestone, got some wooden planks...
Hugh: I'm gonna take a furnace with me so we can cook our food up.
Mo: Should we take a second after this chapter and organize the chest?
Hugh: Yeah I think we should. Um, who's taking- OK I've got the coal, so if we need to cook and craft some stuff down there, we can.
Dylan: I have wood and cobblestone.
Hugh: Good.
Mo: We don't have any armor.
Hugh: Um, I'm gonna get a bucket of water so we defend against lava. Yeah, I don't have any armor either.
Mo: OK, so which cave are we even going to?
Hugh: Uh, we're gonna try to find one I think.
Dylan: K where's the food? I need to find the food so I can... there's only dogs! That's all I see and I don't think they drop dog meat. Probably wouldn't eat that.
Hugh: Yeah, um...
Mo: I'm sorry Skippy, I need your food. Skippy!
Hugh: Aw, as soon as you said that I heard like a yelp. Aw that's heartbreaking...
Dylan: Oh God, did you actually kill him, Mo?
Mo: Yeah.
Dylan: What the hell Mo? Why would you do that? Oh I also found a cave by the way.
Mo: Also where are you?
Hugh: I'm following Mo.
Dylan: Uh OK, where are you guys?
Mo: Cough... cough...
Hugh: We should get some pigs or cows.
Dylan: I found a chicken.
Mo: Where did you go?
Dylan: Yay I got a chicken, I'm just killing some, I'll meet you back at the house.
Mo: No don't meet me at the house, let's find a cave Yoshi, let's go.
Dylan: No I need to meet you back at the house! Cause I don't know where you guys are.
Mo: We don't need food, all we need is stuff.
Dylan & Hugh: All we need is each other.
Dylan: Shut up!
Mo: Wow.
Hugh: Hey! I thought of that before you did!
Dylan: Hey I found a giant marble canyon.
Mo: Why are there so many wolves? We should bring up our map, Oh OK, I see where Dylan is then. Yoshi, follow me. There he is, found him.
Dylan: Hi Mo!
Hugh: Hello Dylan!
Dylan: Look, there's a giant marble canyon down here- shut up, Hugh.
Mo: Yeah I know I see it on the map cause I'm not stupid.
Hugh: Wow, I'm loved.
Dylan: I love you Hugh.
Mo: I'm not an idiot like you, so I see it on the map. Oh my God.
Dylan: Hugh!
Mo: Oh my God! What is this?
Hugh: Oh crap we're going down here, we're going down here right now!
Mo: Yeah this is like a quarry or some shit. That's awesome.
Hugh: A quarry?
Dylan: Wait a minute guys.
Mo: A (Qua-ree), (Qare-ee), I dunno dude.
Hugh: It's a bit qare-ee.
Mo: Pumpkins!
Dylan: Don't be eating pumpkins.
Mo: I dunno, it's getting dumb.
Dylan: I would enjoy it.
Hugh: We do need to get some food again before we go down here.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: No we don't.
Hugh: Yeah we do, seriously.
Mo: No we don't.
Hugh: Yeah we do!
Dylan: Yoshi let's go get some food.
Mo: Hey look a spider, maybe I should try killing it or maybe not.
Dylan: No it's friendly! You leave it alone!
Mo: I already left it alone. Cough... cough...
Dylan: OK, I'm just making sure.
Hugh: Yeah that's the first thing we should do, we should make an automated wheat farm.
Mo: This place looks freaking scary, oh my God.
Dylan: Ooh we're in the jungle.
Mo: There's a jungle?
Dylan: This is Mo's home, it's like Puerto Rico.
Mo: Holy shit, I do see a jungle, huh. I guess we spawned in a really good place, there's all types of stuff.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: Seriously, there are just no animals around here! Ooh I found a pig. Gasp! I found 3- I found 4 pigs! I found 7- I found about 10 pigs!
Mo: Really?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Don't kill them all because we can like-
Hugh: No, do kill them all.
Dylan: Mo come here, Mo come back here.
Mo: What?
Dylan: Come here, I'm gonna show you this vast amount of pigs.
Mo: I found iron.
Dylan: Should I just kill them all?
Hugh: Yeah. Kill em' all, bring us the meat, and I can cook it up.
Mo: Uh, well the thing is if we ever find any animals near our house, we can lure them in with like wheat. And, you know, like, breed them.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: I dunno why, but I left like the 400 pigs to go kill 1 chicken. This chicken must feel lonely.
Hugh: Uh but yeah, if you bring all the meat to me, I can cook it up in my special meat place.
Mo: Your meat place?
Hugh: Yeah, my special meat place.
Mo: You have a special meat place?
Hugh: I do.
Mo: Do you have balls in there? Kinda like meatballs?
Hugh: They can be.
Dylan: I just realized it's turning night, I'm gonna die.
Mo: Yeah you should probably get your way back over here.
Dylan: Oh God! And I see a creeper! Oh God!
Mo: OK what are you near?
Dylan: Um, a hole that this creeper just blew up.
Mo: Uh... are you near the jungle?
Dylan: I'm also close to dying, yes I am near the jungle, I'm beside the jungle.
Mo: Uh, well I am near the quarry so... oh (qua-ree), whatever! How do you say it? Can I say it right?
Dylan: (Qua-ree).
Hugh: (Qua-ree). QUA. REE. Quarry.
Mo: Sigh... language...
Continued in Chapter 7!
________________________________________________
Chapter 7
Waterslide Party
________________________________________________
Current Date: August 22nd 2012
Days Stranded: 15
Last time on Tekkit, our heroes went to explore a cave, and someone can't pronounce quarry. Let's see how they're doing!
Dylan: There is a spider here, it's going to kill me.
Mo: Yoshi, you already explored all of this cave, but there's so much iron here that I guess you didn't even take.
Hugh: No dude, I'm making sure that I know what's around first.
Dylan: Where in the heck are you guys?
Mo: There's also just like a dirt panic room here. I'm gonna turn this into a panic room now that I think about it.
Dylan: I'm just gonna head back to the house, cause I'm being killed.
Mo: OK.
Hugh: The house? Why not come back to the quarry?
Dylan: Cause I don't know where the quarry is.
Hugh: Well then find it.
Mo: What about Doctor House? Can you find him?
Dylan: Find what?
Mo: Doctor House.
Hugh: He can help.
Dylan: He's busy in Stewart Little. No! These trees have blocked off my path to our house!
Mo: What? Oh you're already back at the house. Oh my God, Yoshi turn around!
Mo saw a creeper behind Hugh and went to kill it.
Dylan: I have your food. OK, I have 3 porkchops and 3 chickens- or 4 porkchops.
A few minutes later, Hugh came up with a genius idea...
Hugh: There's only one thing we can do at a time like this dude.
Mo: What is it?
Dylan: Sleep with each other?
Hugh climbed to the top of the marble quarry and created a stream of water that went to the floor of the quarry.
Hugh: Fucking waterslide party.
Mo: Oh my God Becky.
Mo and Hugh slid down the water as if on a waterslide!
Hugh: Weeeeeeee!
Mo: Go slide down that again. Do it! Do it!
Hugh: Wait wait wait...
Hugh slid down the water again, but Mo decided to prank Hugh...
Mo: Swagger Jagger! Swagger Jagger! Denenenenene Swagger Jagger! Oh my God!
Hugh started attacking Mo!
MUNCHINGORANGE WAS KILLED BY YOSHITOMARIO!
Mo: Thank you.
Hugh: Don't sing that song.
Mo: Thank you.
Some time later...
Mo: My mom made me a delicious milkshake and I want to drink it now. Hello Dylan, I'm gonna push you down there.
Mo pushed Dylan into the cave.
Dylan: Aah!
Mo: Pffffttt...
Dylan: Son of a bitch!
Mo: I love how I actually pushed you down there even though I didn't think I would. And then you blow up.
Hugh: Oh God.
Dylan: I didn't die.
Mo: I know you didn't die, but you blew up anyway. Where's my shit?
Dylan: I'm just gonna wait here until my health restores. Thanks a lot Mo!
Mo: Yoshi why are you just frozen at the top of the waterfall?
Hugh: I'm not, I'm having an emotional moment in the corner.
Mo: Are you pondering life?
Dylan: He's realizing his life story on how his mom never let him buy a waterbed.
Hugh: Here we go. Dylan knows what's up.
Mo: Hey, wake up you stupid thing! Hi.
Hugh: Hang on, give me one of your Jack-o-Lanterns right now. Good boy.
Dylan: OK I'm filled up.
Mo: Can I have my other stuff back?
Hugh put the Jack-o-Lantern on his head and started giving Mo's stuff back to him.
Dylan: And you just quietly stare at each other in each others eyes.
Mo also put a Jack-o-Lantern on his head.
Dylan: And then Hugh found Mo to be- what the hell?
A creeper blew up near Mo, but it didn't hurt him too badly.
Mo: Aah!
Dylan: Hahahahaha! And then one exploded on the other.
Hugh: Hey can I have some food?
Mo: Hey Dylan, how are you Dylan?
Hugh: I'm half a food.
Dylan: You should just die and then come back here.
Hugh: No seriously.
Mo: There's something wrong with you. Take this, it might help.
Mo gave Dylan a Jack-o-Lantern.
Dylan: What? Oh, yeah.
Dylan put the Jack-o-Lantern on.
Mo: Hello ladies and gentlemen, we are the Pumpkin Trio!
Some time later, Mo took off his Jack-o-Lantern so he could see better. But then as he was walking...
Mo: Oh it's daytime apparently. Hooray- OH GOD!
Mo fell down a hole that Hugh had dug, now he's trapped with Hugh!
Mo: Hi.
Hugh: Herro.
Mo: How did I fall down here? Can I have some torches?
Hugh sealed off the hole leaving them trapped in darkness!
Mo: Oh God...
Hugh: Hello~
Mo: Dylan!
Hugh: Hell yeah!
Mo: Dylan!
Hugh: Heh heh heh!
Mo: DYLAN?!
Hugh: Hahahahaha!
Mo: DYLAN!!
Hugh: I've got you right now!
Mo: AAAAAAAAAHHH!
Mo started climbing up the hole trying to get out!
Mo: Save me!
Hugh: No no no, you can't escape Daddy!
Mo: Oh God!
Mo managed to escape from Hugh's trap!
Mo: It's the Hash Slinging Slasher!
Hugh: Heh heh heh! Where'd you go?
Dylan: What happened to you 2?
Mo threw 2 Jack-o-Lanterns down the hole.
Mo: Take it! Take it! I don't know what is going on! There is a man, he was going to do naughty things to me. Can I have some coal? Anyone?
Dylan: I have a bunch of coal, give me a second.
Hugh: I've got coal, you just have to come down here and get it.
Mo: No not even torches. Specifically torches, not coal.
Dylan: You said coal.
Mo: Well I lied.
Dylan: I'm only giving you coal.
Hugh: Hey Mo, I'm coming to say hello~
At this point, Dylan and Hugh took their Jack-o-Lanterns off.
Mo: Hi. What are you doing, Dylan?
Dylan: I'm mining coal.
Mo: Oh, because coal is definitely necessary at this point in the adventure.
Dylan: I think it very much is. Ooh, and you know what? I found emeralds, there you go you simple. Oh wow, I need an iron pickaxe for this.
Hugh: I am TotalBiscuit.
Mo: What's a biscuit?
Hugh: It's a cookie, almost.
Mo: You mean a muffin?
Hugh: No, muffins and cookies are completely different things.
Mo: Biscuits are biscuits, and muffins are muffins, and cookies are cookies, like Chips Ahoys.
Hugh: Yes.
Dylan: I can't mine this. Oh wow, Thank you Mo, I didn't know where I was and um... You've fully blocked me in.
Mo: What? No I didn't.
Dylan: Yoshi?
Hugh: Wassup?
Dylan: You locked me in.
Hugh: I didn't do anything.
Dylan: Shut up.
Mo: I went back to the panic room, and there was some silver, 2 silver. Or sorry, that's tin.
Hugh: Lololololol.
Dylan: Come mine this.
Mo: Can I please have some torches?
Dylan: Mo, come mine this. Like down here, there's some stuff.
Mo: Where?
Dylan: Right down here.
Mo: Why are you? Why are you down here?
Dylan: There's emerald.
Mo: Can you place some freaking torches?
Dylan: You know what? No. Ooh, iron, I missed that.
Mo: Can you place some torches please?!
Dylan: No!
Mo: It is so dark!
Some time later...
Mo: Hey that's where my panic room is, Dylan. You might not wanna go down there.
Dylan: Why?
Mo: Because it's a panic room.
Dylan: Is there like naked- Oh God what is in here? Oh thank you for that.
Mo sealed the entrance of the panic room.
Mo: It's the panic room.
Hugh: Because panic room.
Dylan: There's coal in here by the way.
Mo: Where?
Dylan: Mine some of that coal.
Mo sealed the panic room again.
Dylan: Stop making it dark!
Mo: Heh heh heh.
Some time later...
Mo: How do we get out of here?
Dylan: That's not the right way.
Mo: No? Over here?
Dylan: No it's this way.
Hugh: Oh dammit, I thought I found a jungle temple for a second.
Dylan: Oh it's not this way.
Mo: I know it's not, so which way is it?
Hugh: You guys have got awful directions.
Mo: We literally- I don't know where to go. So I'm just gonna dig up.
Dylan: Yeah I'm just gonna follow you.
Mo: I literally don't know where to go.
Hugh: You guys are special.
Mo: No we're not.
Hugh: Fine, you're completely normal, average, and nothing special. I was trying to compliment you, Mo.
Mo and Dylan made it out, and now they were in the jungle.
Mo: Ah look, we found it.
Dylan: Hey look.
Mo: What?
Dylan: I dunno, I was looking exactly where you were looking at. Maybe you need to pay attention sometimes.
Mo and Dylan started exploring the outdoor jungle looking for Hugh.
Mo: Hey where's Hugh? Hugh?
Hugh: Yes?
Mo: Hugh Murrell? I see you, I see your- hi.
Hugh: Hello!
Mo: Don't ever talk to me that way again.
Reunited, the 3 of them continue their trek through the jungle.
Dylan: Oh God, I fell.
Mo: Where do we find things? We must find things in the things of the things.
Hugh: We need to roam through the barren land.
Mo: It's not even barren, its like... oh there's a volcano guys! Follow me!
Dylan: Oh yes.
Hugh: This has nothing to do with volcanos. There's lava and there's basalt.
Mo: Look! Look at-
Dylan: Basil? I love basil.
Mo: Bay life?
Dylan: You can dance if you want to~
Mo: Look at the lava, it's like Wind Waker.
Dylan: This is like the- oh God. I broke my leg, can anyone help me?
Dylan is a liar.
Mo: What the hell is this stuff?
Hugh: Standin' on that lava.
Mo: This is like- this is basalt cobblestone.
Hugh: Yeah it is.
Mo: What can we use it for? Just decoration? Can we make like bricks out of it or anything? Can we smelt it maybe?
Hugh: Uh no, it looks good.
Dylan: You can smelt it if you want to~
Hugh: It's mainly decoration.
Mo: Oh it's like cobblestone in that when you break it, it like gives you like...
Dylan: You can break it if you want to~
Hugh: Yeah yeah yeah. It looks really good.
Mo: So if you smelt it, do you get the normal basalt?
Dylan: You can smelt it if you want to~
Hugh: I haven't tried it, but I'm going to assume so, but yeah.
Mo: Or does it give you basalt stone?
Hugh: Dunno, I haven't tried smelting it.
Mo: We should try it. Let's just collect some of it and try, for decoration.
Dylan: You can smelt it if you want to~
Mo: Shut up, stop singing.
Dylan: OK.
Mo: Alright, so here's a quick question for you. Are you ready for it, Dylan?
Dylan: You have a lava bucket in your hand. I swear if you burn me...
Hugh: Tread carefully, my friend.
Mo: Dylan, are you ready for my question to the readers?
Dylan: OK.
Hugh: Hey Dylan.
Mo: OK. So this man here, known as the Jethrotex and just Jethrotex on Youtube, believes that Super Smash Bros. Melee is far superior to Brawl.
Dylan: Shut up, people are stupid though.
Mo: Hahaha!
Dylan: And they think that Brawl is better, which it's not.
Hugh: So what do you, the reader, have to think about that?
Dylan: No, but you can't ask someone it's like...
Mo: I just want to see what the comments say! OK so here's the thing, okay? We want this in the comments, but we don't just want to see comments that say: "OMG THE GRAHPICS ARE BETTER SO THE GAME IS BETTER!!!!!11" Like, we want actual opinions.
Dylan: We want an entire districtation on why Melee is better than Brawl and why the hell would you even think differently. Stop doing that Yoshi! You're gonna end up screwing everyone over!
Mo: I don't take a side, personally.
Hugh: I'm not doing anything.
Dylan: It's cause you don't play either.
Hugh: Yeah I don't play either.
Mo: That is only partly why, Dylan. Alright, so where are we going next? We didn't find a good cave, so guess we gotta explore some more.
Hugh: We need to find a temple.
Dylan: This was a disappointing chapter.
Mo: OK Yoshi, come here. Are you guys still following me? I don't even know. Oh, hey.
Dylan: Where are you guys?
Mo: Oh my God, Dylan. Really? Are you still in the jungle?
Dylan: Yes.
Mo: OK, well we went to the west. Bring up your map and go west.
Dylan: That doesn't help me.
Hugh: Let me light up this place.
Mo: Walk to the west! You're gonna find snow eventually.
Some time later...
Dylan: I see Yoshi! Hi guys!
Mo: Why is there lava there?
Hugh: I dunno.
Dylan: Because Yoshi is very irresponsible with buckets and lava buckets per se.
Mo: OK, well let's walk to the snow and hopefully find something there. Maybe we'll find Tomb Raider with breast cancer.
Dylan: Why didn't we just stay at home?
Mo: Because home is stupid and it's where the heart is. You guys still following me? Cause I found a cave.
Dylan: I have no idea where you are.
Mo: I'm at the edge of the snow and jungle. There's sheep, and I will kill them for their wool.
Dylan: Yoshi, I saw that.
Hugh: Saw what?
Dylan: I saw that lava that you placed there. Where is this cave, Mo? Come back to the cust- oh my God!
Mo: No, I'm at the edge of the snow and jungle biome.
Hugh: I'm getting hit.
Mo: Where are you guys?
Hugh: I think we need to uh, take refuge in a tree.
Mo: Where are you guys? There's no monsters around me.
Dylan: There are monsters very much around me. There are also cows.
Mo: Where are you? OK, I say we head back to the house, make some armor, and then we actually explore in the next chapter. Or something.
Dylan: This was the worst thing we've ever done.
Some time later... The 3 of them managed to reunite in the snow.
Dylan: Oh hey, we went where Yoshi exactly was!
Mo: Hey Yoshi, snowball!
Mo threw a snowball at Hugh while he was on top of a tree, and then...
YOSHITOMARIO HIT THE GROUND TOO HARD!
Mo: Oh! Hahaha!
Dylan: Oh God.
Mo: Hahahahahaha!
Hugh: Dylan!
Dylan: That wasn't me!
Mo: I threw a snowball at you.
Dylan: What are your coordinates now so I don't forget?
Hugh: Uh, the coordinates-
Mo: Oh shit! OH SHIT!
MUNCHINGORANGE WAS KILLED BY A SPIDER!
Mo: Dammit!
Hugh: You might as well just die, Dylan.
Dylan: No, I have everything on me.
Mo: No you don't, you don't have my stuff. Uh, we really need some beds.
Dylan: Oh God.
YOSHITOMARIO WAS BLOWN UP BY A CREEPER!
Hugh: Oop.
Mo: Dylan, you better not die.
Hugh: We will kill you if you die.
Dylan: I will make the track back.
Hugh: Just make it that close and we're aware to you, you know.
Mo: I'm gonna try to find my stuff, I honestly don't know where it is.
Hugh: I don't think I'm gonna be able to find anything either.
Dylan: So on the next chapter...
Hugh: We will uh...
Dylan: Oh good, there is a hole in our house. I'm glad I got to come home to this.
Continued in Chapter 8!
________________________________________________
Chapter 8
Bad Sheep Hunting
________________________________________________
Current Date: August 25th 2012
Days Stranded: 18
Last time on Tekkit, our heroes went on a huge mining session and explored a jungle. Let's see what those crazy kids are up to now!
Mo: Where am I?
Dylan: You're inside a toolbox.
Mo: Can anyone get me out of here?
Dylan: I will get you out- start the beginning of the chapter, and we'll do it.
Mo: It is the beginning of the chapter, I want to get out of here.
Hugh: You're putting us off.
Dylan: Maybe we won't tell you that.
Mo: Maybe you will tell me, or maybe I'll get out of here anyway. This is a jailbreak mutha mucker!
Dylan: Oh OK.
Mo: Where am I going? Am I going the right way? Am I going the right way? I'm looking at my map and trying to see if I'm going the right way. Oh hey, I am.
Hugh: Oh, did you want to get out? I thought you were gonna dig straight up.
Mo: Oh my God, why is there lava?
Dylan: Yeah I know, I don't know why.
Mo: Hello friends. I managed to escape from your trap. Why did you do this to me?
Mo was referring to a cobblestone jail he was trapped in. He dug underground to escape it by the way.
Dylan: Um, that was Yoshi, I was trying to get you out.
Dylan started to remove the cobblestone jail.
Mo: I made an elaborate- God! Why did you hit me?
Hugh: An egg.
Mo: OK, so last chapter, we went and-
Dylan: I made an iron furnace.
Mo: You did?
Hugh: Set it down.
Mo: Oh my gosh, it looks exactly like the generator. Can you place it down somewhere? OK there, good. What the hell is that?
Dylan: It looks exactly like the generator.
Hugh: No dude, it's got like a different front.
Mo: OK so, I have coal in my inventory.
Dylan: It's exactly like the generator.
Mo: Does it burn stuff faster?
Hugh: Yeah, it burns faster, and it uses less coal per item.
Dylan: Oh hey, it does. That's interesting.
Mo: No it isn't, it's slow, slow as my balls.
Dylan: That's funny.
Mo: That is funny. I'm gonna organize this chest. Oh my goodness, there is no organization to this because it's really really disorganized. All right, I'm gonna smelt all of our stuff.
Dylan: Hey look, we have 42 sticky resin.
Mo: Rasin?
Dylan: I love raisins.
Mo: Rasin? Like Ras Buten from the popular video game of- hey why would you cook-
Dylan: Raisins.
Hugh: Hey I'm cooking some food!
Mo: Why would you cook food in our iron furnace which is patented by Gary Coleman?
Hugh: Cause I'm hungry.
Dylan: Gary Coleman, the greatest guy you ever knew.
Mo: Is that actually his name? I keep confusing him now.
Dylan: Yeah, Gary Coleman's the guy who was like: "Whatchu talkin' about Willis?"
Mo: Yeah.
Dylan: And then Gary Oldman's the guy: "Whatchu talkin' about Batman?"
Hugh: Oh, I was thinking of the guy- ah I'm thinking of George Foreman. Hahaha.
Dylan: Yeah, George Foreman also.
Mo: Yeah that's- OK there's an actual George Foreman grill.
Hugh: Yeah that's what I was thinking of.
Mo: But the show Drake & Josh made the Gary Coleman grill. Haha.
Hugh: Wait, what?
Dylan: Heh heh.
Mo: You remember Drake & Josh?
Dylan: Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
Hugh: Yeah dude.
Mo: OK, so I think we should um...
Dylan: It only cooks paninis and mini sandwiches.
Hugh: Exactly, and they were the best paninis and mini sandwiches. Fine, you didn't need them all of the time, but when you did need them it was top quality.
Dylan: Why do we even have stone furni anymore?
Mo: Furni? What is- oh God, the uranium ore looks nice here.
Hugh: Furni? Shut up.
Dylan: Stop hitting me, Yoshi!
Mo: Um, because we can still cook food and things in the stone ones.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: And we can use the iron ones to make like, good stuff. OK, so what is our goal here? What are we aiming to build? Yoshi, you said there was something about an automated-
Dylan: We're gonna make a plane.
Mo: I don't think we can do that here. I dunno, like a qa-ree or qua-ree, whatever! I don't-
Hugh: Oh yeah, cause you couldn't say it. You were like, oh it's a qare-ee.
Dylan: No wait, I got an idea, our goal here is to make an iron door.
Mo: We can make an automated thing that digs for us.
Hugh: A quarry QUA. REE. Say it after me, Mo.
Mo: QUA REE.
Hugh: Well done!
Mo: Why is there lava here?
Hugh: I dunno.
Mo: And oh my God, I forgot about all of these trees. I'm gonna start getting all of this rubber out.
Hugh: Look at the trees on the map, they look amazing.
Mo: Um, what do you mean? No they don't they just look like dots.
Hugh: I know, it's awesome.
Mo: OK, so uh, we were going to...
Dylan: Oh God, I might have ruined our river.
Mo: How?
Hugh: What did you do?
Mo: How can you ruin our- oh my God, Dylan. What did you do?
Hugh: He made the flow weird.
Mo: OK so I'm going to collect some rubber.
Dylan: I fixed it.
Mo: And- oh my God that is a lot of sticky resin. I'm gonna collect some rubber.
Dylan: What do you plan on doing with these rubbers?
Mo: Uh, we are... which flavor of condom do you guys enjoy the most?
Hugh: I saw you said that on your vlog. Um, for me, it's rainbow flavor.
Dylan: I refuse to participate in this complete and utter retardation.
Mo: It's not retardation, it's a serious question! OK now serious talk here for a second. Why do condoms have flavors?
Hugh: I don't know.
Mo: Like, OK, do girls enjoy sucking on rubber? Is that the thing?
Hugh: I dunno.
Mo: Like, OK never mind.
Hugh: I don't get the point of a blowjob without a condom, I'm gonna be honest.
Mo: You know what, this is odd. This is an odd conversation.
Dylan: I think I'm gonna leave the fan fiction.
Hugh: Fine, fine.
Mo: OK fine, let's just leave it with that I love orange flavor.
Hugh: Dude, rainbow flavor is better.
Mo: MunchingOrange condoms, coming sometime soon! Heh!
Hugh: Heh, you can munch that orange.
Mo: It's the- hahaha! OK Dylan, don't leave please. Hee hee hee!
Dylan: OK.
Mo: Anyway, um... I'm gonna try burning this rubber, and making actual rubber so that we can make copper cables.
Dylan: Wait, you can burn it in a furnace?
Mo: Yeah, you can burn the sticky resin in the furnace, and make rubber.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: And then like, once you have enough rubber, you can make a compressor thing, and then you can get rubber faster. Or something like that, right?
Hugh: Yeah, I haven't done that yet myself. I'm not sure how that works, we need to try that out.
Dylan: MunchingOrange! Inside the chest there is 42 of them!
Mo: What?
Dylan: Here, I have 42 resin.
Mo: OK, put it in the furnace. Actually, we could use the iron furnace or whatever, I dunno, whatever. It goes at the same rate.
Dylan: That's cool.
Mo: I'm gonna start making my magical armor. We should probably start looking for an enchanting table and other assortment of things.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: Oh yeah.
Hugh: Yeah true, well we need obsidian and 1 diamond for that.
Dylan: We don't even ever need what's it called- enchantments.
Mo: No but like, eventually we're gonna get stuff. Hey look, I found my magical armor.
Mo put on his full set of iron armor.
Dylan: What happened to our, um... yeah good. You got everything except for the one that covers your wounds.
Mo: No, my wounds are covered. Here, you can have the rest of it. Start making armor for yourselves.
Dylan: Thank you.
Hugh: Oh thank you MunchingOrange!
Dylan: Son of a bitch!
Hugh: Hey! You like what you see?
Dylan: I want it.
Hugh: You like what you see?
Dylan: Yeah I do.
Hugh: Hey!
YOSHITOMARIO WAS KILLED BY JETHROTEX!
Mo: Oh my God, why did you kill each other again?
Hugh: Dylan! I didn't kill anyone.
Mo: Why do you keep doing this over and over?
Dylan: I wanted it! He wouldn't give it to me!
Mo: Um, I say we should work on a farm as well. So while all of this rubber burns for us to make whatever thing we're trying to make with the rubber. I think it's a compressor.
Hugh: Dude, if we get enough redstone, we can make an automated wheat farm.
Dylan: Shoot. I need another- oh wait, got some more.
Hugh: That'd be pretty nice.
Mo: A what? We can make a what?
Hugh: Automated wheat farm.
Mo: What is that for?
Hugh: It just kinda collects it like really fast.
Mo: Hey Dylan, you're lookin' handsome.
Dylan had on an iron chestplate and iron leggings.
Dylan: So from now on we're-
Hugh: So uh yeah Dylan, I think I need some stuff.
Dylan: So um, I think from now on we're never going to kill each other ever again.
Hugh: And you're going to give me my stuff back.
Dylan: Yoshi, don't tempt me.
Hugh: What?
Dylan: Don't tempt me.
Mo: Don't tent him like a camping.
Hugh: Well you don't need to smack my ass.
Dylan: Don't pitch a tent bro. Don't pitch a tent.
Hugh: I present my ass and you pitch a tent. I'm not gonna comment.
Dylan: What? Stop taking what I say and turning it into your British slang.
Hugh: Hey, I can't help what you're saying bro.
Dylan: You can help what I'm saying. There is so much sticky resin all over the place.
Hugh: Put it all in that furnace.
Mo: Hey guys.
Hugh: What's up?
Mo: Look what I made.
Dylan: Oh, that's uh...
Hugh: What have you made?
Mo made a stack of TNT!
Hugh: Oh no.
Mo: Hey.
Hugh: No!
Dylan: Mo, I think this house has seen enough explosives.
Mo: Hahahaha! I know!
Hugh: I'm discarding this!
Mo: Terrible. Alright, I'm gonna get started on actually making a farm though. And also I'm gonna make, um, I'm gonna make some more weapons because apparently we can't find freaking sheep anywhere, so this is going great.
Hugh: I know.
Dylan: Sheep are the greatest things since 1972.
Mo: OK, we have arrows, good. OK I'm gonna go hunt for some sheep, and then you guys should get working on a farm.
Hugh: OK, that sounds good. Dylan, you up for that?
Dylan: No I'm gonna want to hunt sheep. You're the woman.
Hugh: Wow. Nice to know we split our time between each other equally.
Mo: Yes. Because we are the equalists and we mentioned this many times. Alright, get working on that farm, ya ho!
Hugh: Yes master.
Dylan: Mo, where did you go?
Mo: To the snow area.
Dylan: Snow area? Oh right, OK, I know where that is.
Mo: Hey I found a cow. That's food.
Dylan: I need food- oh good. Yeah we should go food hunting.
Mo: That's what we're doing.
Dylan: Mo and I will go food hunting.
Mo: Well we tried to do this last time and it didn't go too well.
Hugh: Build a farm, wow I feel lame.
Dylan: I found 17 pigs.
Mo: Alright Yoshi, actually while you do that, if you get done on the farm, can you look up how to make a compressor thing? Like what else we need to build it?
Hugh: Uh, let me take a look now.
Mo: I remember we needed rubber to make copper cable.
Dylan: Um, Yoshi, don't build it though.
Hugh: I won't build it, don't worry. OK, we need uh... 6 smooth stone, we need a machine block which we can make out of the stuff we already have.
Dylan: Hey Mo I found a gigantic ravine.
Hugh: And we need an electronic circuit.
Mo: Which we need copper cable for, right?
Hugh: We need copper cable, 2 redstone, and refined iron which we have. So yeah, you just need copper cable.
Dylan: I see you, Mo. Mo!
Mo: Hello?
Dylan: Mo!
Mo: What?
Dylan: I found a gigantic ravine, would you like to traverse it?
Mo: Um, no, I would like to find some sheep.
Dylan: Yeah, that would be a good idea. Ooh look, another cow.
Mo: Well we found plenty of cows, we need sheep for wool. You know what, I didn't even check if there was any wool in the house.
Dylan: There was only like 1.
Hugh: Um, by the way, I just made copper cable, so I'm gonna make the electronic circuit. But I won't do anything else.
Mo: Don't make it yet, I wanna make it, so that the people know how to make it on the world.
Hugh: Oh OK, that's fair. I'll put the materiels in the 2nd chest.
Mo: OK.
Some time later, Mo and Dylan were in the jungle hunting for sheep.
Mo: God there's like no sheep anywhere!
Dylan: We should make a sheep farm, screw the wheat farm.
Mo: OK well how can we make a sheep farm if we have no sheep?
Dylan: Exactly.
Hugh: We should make a multi-conversation.
Mo: I still don't have a pick. Oh no I do, I do. OK good.
Dylan: You have to create the sheep. Mo, let's make babies.
Mo: Yes Dylan.
Hugh: Whoa whoa whoa. That's hot...
Mo: How do we have sheep babies?
Dylan: Sheep babies, you obviously did not have a realization of the word.
Hugh: I said that sounds hot. I'm down!
Mo: How do we create sheep babies though? That's kinda hard.
Dylan: I have no idea.
Hugh: I can help make babies, it is in my power to can make babies. Wait, what?
Mo: I think it's kinda hard to create sheep babies though.
Dylan: How do you get babies though, like from the kids or whatever?
Hugh: You get 2 of them, and you just put them in like a pen.
Dylan: Oh that's right, you need wheat.
Mo: Oh this is a huge- yeah, you need wheat.
Dylan: Oh crap, it's getting dark.
Mo: It is getting dark, I'm not going home, I'm gonna keep adventuring. I will find sheep, I swear. I'm gonna come back with a fistful of wool.
Some time later in the jungle, Dylan left Mo and returned to the house to help out Hugh.
Mo: For 40 days and 40 nights I have scoured the world for sheep and yet I have found nothing.
Hugh: AAAAAAAAAAHH!!
Mo: Did one of you find sheep?
Dylan: Creeper?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: What did he blow up?
Hugh: My farm.
Mo: Fix it!
Hugh: I AM!!! My God you're a demanding freaking slave master.
Mo: Did he blow up the house?
Hugh: No, it's not near the house, really. Well, it's kinda near the house but it's not in radius. So I won't worry, it's fine man, it's fine.
Mo: Oh you know what I was gonna mention earlier, but I didn't mention? Not only are we racially diverse here...
Dylan: Oh God, Yoshi you might wanna run. Yoshi you might want to run.
Mo: Once again...
Hugh: Oh fuck you Dylan. Seriously.
Mo: Not only are we racially diverse here, but um... what I meant by that was like one's from Canada, and one's from Britian, and one's from somewhere else.
Dylan: We're also very accepting of everyone elses races.
Mo: OK, we're also very networkly diversed having a British man from the machine network, and um... we have the uh, the Canadian man from the other network.
Hugh: They're Full Scrint.
Mo: No, I think it might be Polka Planet. Somethin' like that.
Hugh: Yeah that's it.
Dylan: No.
Mo: Is that who you're with, Dylan? Tiny Galaxy now?
Dylan: No.
Mo: You with Yaosh now? Is that what it is?
Dylan: No.
Mo: Oh, sorry, I confused us.
Hugh: He's getting genunily angry. Lol.
Dylan: Leave me alone.
Mo: Heh heh heh!
Dylan: It's a good thing- see, we're bringing these 3 companies together in complete harmony, even though they all talk crap about each other behind their backs.
Mo: Yeah but we don't. We just chill, we don't care. All the companies are one.
Dylan: No man, when like a specific British company calls, you know a uh... calls a specific U.S. company. Uh, cheaters and liars or whatever.
Some time later, Mo explored a grassy plain.
Mo: Oh my God, I found a field, but still there's no freaking sheep! Look at this!
Hugh: Uh, yeah. You can make a um, machine block, it's made the same way you made the iron furnace, with just refined iron.
Dylan: We'll wait for, I'll wait for um...
Hugh: Oh yeah, because Mo wants to do it.
Mo: Dude! There's like 50 chickens here, but still no freaking sheep!
Dylan: You know what? Maybe if you worked a little harder we could find it. Huh? Think about that?
Hugh: Oh Dylan, Dylan I think I gave you my bucket. Could I grab that?
Dylan: Oh yeah, yeah.
Some time later, Mo explored a snowy biome. Lol.
Mo: I'm getting legitimately angry that there's no sheep anywhere!
Hugh: I just realized we don't have any seeds.
Dylan: You know what, Mo? I'm tired of your crap! I'm just joking.
Mo: No but they're easy to find though.
Hugh: Aww shit.
Dylan: I said I'm joking!
Hugh: I know. I'm getting some seeds.
Mo: Just like plant bonemeal and you can find seeds.
Hugh: I am doing that right now.
Some time later...
Mo: Look at this shit! There's like a billion chickens and no sheep! There's 1, 2, 3, this is 4 I think. 5 chickens. Another chicken, 6 chickens.
Dylan: I'm just mowing the lawn.
Mo: And meanwhile, you guys are just over there mowing the lawn! There's a floating island over there! OH MY GOD! Hey cow.
Dylan: Would you like a closer hearing?
Hugh: Oh God.
Mo: Um, guys?
Dylan: There we are, I closed my window.
Hugh: Heh.
Mo: There is a floating island!
Dylan: Sorry, I had to mow our lawn.
Mo: I think your lawn mowing should stop for a second.
Dylan: It's not my fault.
Mo: There is a floating island, and there's sheep on them!
Hugh: I literally am mowing the lawn in Tekkit.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: I think your lawn mowing is interfering with the news I'm trying to bring you kids.
Hugh: OK what is the news? Sorry.
Mo: There is a floating island! With sheep on it!
Hugh: Take a picture and send it to me.
Dylan: What's your coordinates? I wanna come.
Mo: I'm very far Dylan! I don't think you understand this!
Dylan: Yeah I don't care! I'm gonna pick up all of my items and I'm gonna go run to you. I'm gonna go find where that is, and I'm gonna go enjoy the vast nature of it.
Continued in Chapter 9!
________________________________________________
Chapter 9
Demon Pals
________________________________________________
Current Date: September 6th 2012
Days Stranded: 30
Last time on Tekkit, Mo went on the hunt for sheep, and couldn't find any! But then he found a floating island of sheep!
Mo: I'm gonna try to make my way to these sheep. I'm gonna strategically make my way there, like the Predator did. I don't understand how there's literally no sheep anywhere else though! This is stupid! OK and now I'm probably... dude I am so scared, I'm gonna like- OK I'm just gonna like, snipe them.
Dylan: Yoshi please don't take my armor.
Hugh: I won't, don't worry.
Mo: Yes! Yes, OK, that wool fell but... yeah! OK, 3 wool? That's it? Just 3?
Dylan: Yoshi what are your- or sorry Mo, what are your coordianates? Please just tell me.
Mo: I am very far away, that is all I can say.
Dylan: Just tell me!
Hugh: Calm yo tits.
Mo: K, this is a very- I'm gonna take this tree because I feel that it's special, it's a tree that grows sheep.
Dylan: Mo, put the coordianates on your map then. Mine's underneath it.
Mo: Oh my God, I'm full on shit. So I can't even pick up the wool. Um...
Dylan: OK so you need help with an empty inventory, maybe if you told me your coordianates, this could be helped.
Mo: Nah, I don't want to.
Dylan: Oh my God...
Mo: I'm gonna go pick up this wool block. OK, my coordianates are X negative 666 and Z is 746.
Dylan: OK, thank you.
Mo: Hya! The leap of faith! Yes, I picked it up, good. I have 3 wool now guys, and that is sheep hunting. Now we just need like 3 more wool.
Dylan: So after about an hour of sheep hunting.
Mo: We found 3 wool, that's it.
Dylan: Wait, did you kill the sheep, or did you shear them?
Mo: I shot them with an arrow, and then I made my way to the island, because I was afraid that if I actually went to the island, I would get knocked off somehow.
Dylan: You should have just sheared them.
Mo: OH! Dick- whoops.
Dylan: Oh dick?
Mo: I had the shears in my hand, and I didn't think to do that.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Oh God... well, another time, another time Dylan. Can you tell me the coordianates of the house so I can make my way back there now?
Dylan: Oh my God I'm walking towards you, I passed by a lava pit by the way.
Mo: Can you just tell me the coordianates of the house please?
Dylan: Um, wait, I need to get to you so that I can remember them. Why are you asking me? I'm not at the house, Yoshi is at the house.
Mo: OK, well Yoshi tell me the freaking coordianates of the house!
Hugh: Ugh, I'm sorry, hold on hold on, I'm gonna get inside the house. It is minus 580...
Mo: Uh-huh.
Hugh: Yeah? Positive 240.
Mo: K, minus 5 what?
Hugh: Minus 580.
Mo: Um, so... this way? OK and what's the Z?
Hugh: Positive 240.
Mo: OK.
Dylan: Wait Mo, please just stay where you are- oh I see you! Mo I see you!
Mo: How do you see me? Oh my God, how did you make your way here so fast?
Dylan: It was only like a 2 minute walk.
Mo: Oh really?
Dylan: If I took public transit, it would have been even less.
Mo: OK. Well, Sheep Island has been dethroned so...
Dylan: Ah that sucks. You'll have to protect me, cause all I have is rotten flesh.
Mo: I'm gonna... it's okay, I barely have any food. I only have 35 pieces of stuff. I gotta go back home.
Dylan: Yeah that's good- oh let's get these reeds! Let's get these reeds, we're out of reeds.
Hugh: No we're not, we still got some here.
Mo: Yeah. I planted reeds last time.
Dylan: Let's get these reeds, we're out of reeds.
Hugh: Oh wow. Dick.
Mo: OK well I'm gonna go back home, cause I'm out of stuff.
Dylan: Alright, I'm coming with you. Everyb- aw damn it, why is that song stuck in my head?
Mo: Skeleton! You're dead!
Hugh: HOOOWEEEEEEEEAAAEEEEE!!
Mo: Oh my God.
Dylan: Oh my God there is a giant medusa behind me!
Mo: What do you mean?
Hugh: Wow. These insults are getting worse and worse.
Dylan: Every time you sing, it's just like, the creatures that you summon are getting worse.
Mo: OK Dylan, let us go. Which way is the house? Do you remember?
Dylan: Oh my goodness, there is a Jehovah's Witness behind me! Mo!
Mo: Heh! What?
Hugh: Ohh.
Dylan: I mean Yoshi.
Hugh: Shut up.
Mo: Uh, what?
Dylan: Yoshi's song has summoned a Jehovah's Witness.
Hugh: Wow, OK I need to stop singing right now.
Dylan: Yes I would like to hear the good news, thank you very much.
Some time later...
Mo: Wait Dylan, I have an idea!
Dylan: What?
Mo: You have a lustrous hair of white head that we might be able to make wool out of.
Dylan: Shut up. That's not the entire helmet.
Mo: I'm trying to shear you!
Hugh: That sounds sexy.
Dylan: Mo that is the hair, that's not the helmet.
Hugh: I wanna go over there and see what's going on right now guys.
Mo: I'm trying to shear you Dylan! Haha!
Dylan: Leave me alone!
Mo: Give me your pubes! I want your- hahaha!
Dylan: I'm leaving the fan fiction forever!
Hugh: Hahaha!
Mo: Hahahaha!
Hugh: We're slowly driving him away, Mo.
Mo: No, it's just me, you just kinda stand along and do nothing.
Hugh: Wow, fuck you.
Mo: Hahaha!
Dylan: It's not our fault you're a terrible commentator, Yoshi. God that must have hurt.
Mo: Dylan, that's gonna make him cry.
Dylan: Heh.
Mo: Hey look, a cave.
Dylan: He's gonna- he's gonna start singing the Jungle Demon song!
Mo: He's gonna start singing... hehehe, Earth Angel! Hahaha.
Dylan: Ahahahaha! Hahaha!
Mo: Hahaha!
Dylan: Hehahaha!
Mo: Or maybe My Girl! Hee hee!
Dylan: He's gonna like sing the Spongebob Squarepants theme song! Oh look, I found the house.
Mo: Are ya ready kids? I think he left.
Dylan: Yeah I think he left the fan fiction.
Mo: Is he still in the script? He might be um, I think he might just be sabotaging.
Dylan: Mo look at this, it's the soulless soul of a demon's soul! And then I hear that noise. Look at this.
Hugh was in the house staring out the window with a 1000 mile stare.
Mo: Ahahahaha!
Dylan: Heh heh haha!
Mo: He has a bone.
Dylan: Heh heh!
Mo: Hahahaha!
Hugh: HOOOOWEEEEEAAAAEEEE!
Mo: Hahahahahahahaha! What the fuck is that?
Dylan: Damn it! Telemarketers?!
Mo: Haha!
Dylan: Yoshi stop this!
Hugh: Earth Angel! Earth Angeeel! Hahaha!
Dylan: Damn it Yoshi! Precious is at my door!
Mo: Ha!
Hugh: Hahahaha! You guys, I hate you! You said some mean things!
Dylan: Hahaha!
Hugh: Like I was joking, like, screw you.
Dylan: Hey I was joking too.
Hugh: Mo wasn't joking!
Mo: I was joking when I said you were um, a bad commentator, and not about the uh...
Dylan: I was the one who said that.
Hugh: I love you.
Mo: Not about the Demon Girl part though. That's still real.
Hugh: Fuck you dude!
Dylan: Yeah the Demon Girl part is like richer to that.
Hugh: I'm just gonna walk up to you and give you my demon cry in a second. Beware.
Mo: Oh my God. Dude, this monster's got nothing on me.
Hugh: Hey Mo, behind you. HOOOOOWEEEEEAAAAEEEE!
Mo: Why is there this wood here?
Hugh: Cause that was to stop the lava, right?
Dylan: Oh my God, Samuel L. Jackson! How are you?
Mo: Heh.
Hugh: Hahaha!
Mo: Who's gonna show up at Dylan's door next? Who's gonna ever accomplish anything in Tekkit? Find out next time on fan fiction show!
Hugh: Hehaha!
Dylan: Mo, we should have like, you should have Yoshi and I as guests on the Mo Show. And just the entire time it's me opening the door to Yoshi's songs, and someone important walks in.
Hugh: Hahahahahaha!
Some time later...
Hugh: HOOOOOWEEEEEAEEEEEAAAA!
Dylan: That's the scariest shit!
Hugh: Hahahaha! Heh, I should be the new Slender!
Mo: Alright, do it!
Hugh: I'm just behind you and I go HAAAAEEEA! HOOOOOOOOWWWWWEEEEAAAEEAAA!
Dylan: Damn it Yoshi! Stop doing that! Now PurpleRodri's sexual desire is behind me!
Hugh: Hahaha!
Mo: What? Oh God.
Hugh: Hey Mo, look what I'm doing.
Mo: How are you? What are you doing?
Hugh started fapping himself with a bone!
Hugh: Ahhh... Uhh...
Dylan: I've still got a bone in my hand.
Mo: What?
Dylan: You just hit Mo!
Hugh: OK, right, Mo, are you ready to learn?
Mo: I'm ready.
Hugh: Are you sure? You gotta get pumped!
Dylan: Let's put a staircase right here.
Mo starts building a corridor that went downstairs on the left side of the house.
Mo: OK guys, I have a feeling that we should try experimenting with controlled explosives. So...
Hugh: Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
Mo: Yeah I think we should. I made TNT last chapter, I think we should use it.
Hugh: I know and I just took it from you! You're not having it back!
Mo: We're gonna make a basement. Oh no don't do- no! Not yet!
Hugh: OK.
Mo: I work on the explosives OK? You work on the not explosives.
Hugh: I thought you wanted to make a compressor though.
Mo: OK, well we need to organize the chest somehow, but oh my God I have so much stuff, I don't even know how to organize it at all.
Hugh: Do a compressor first, cause then we can organize chests afterwards, and we can like do our new setup downstairs with that as well.
Mo: OK well actually I only managed to pick up 3 wool last time anyway. So I'm just gonna quickly make a bed for myself, not you guys. You guys can get your own beds.
Hugh: I'm gonna jump in bed with you dude.
Dylan: Wow, thanks Mo. You know what? I'm gonna sit in that bed and I'm gonna get it a little dirty, and you're going to have to change it.
Hugh: It's fine Dylan. Dylan, threesome.
Mo: You ready for where my bed is going to be? My bed's going to be on the roof.
Hugh: I don't think so.
Mo: Cause I don't like you guys.
Mo gets on the roof and places his bed there, and starts building a wall around it.
Hugh: Wow. I just got rejected.
Dylan: That's going to be really conducive to a good nights sleep.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: With all of the monsters and everything.
Hugh: Actually, I honestly think it would be. You see the night sky, the stars...
Dylan: Yes, you would also see a zombie on top of you.
Hugh: The zombie raping your face, dude it's all good.
Mo: Yeah it is all good.
Dylan: I said on top of your face, and you somehow exasperated into raping.
Mo: Exasperate? That sounds like-
Hugh: Khhh.
Mo: What the hell was that? Was that like a straw noise, like you're sucking through a straw?
Dylan: That was him attempting to find a way to like, actually laugh, but since Yoshi doesn't have any emotions, he had to feign some form of humor. Humorous response.
Hugh: What the fuck is this, Mo?
Mo: It's my bed area! You jealous?
Hugh: No, not really.
Dylan: Are you gonna put like a mini hou- oh there.
Hugh: He's actually building a mini house.
Mo: No, it's just my bed, there's no house involved at all.
Hugh: This is gonna be so sexy when we all get in here.
Mo: It's just for me, you guys can build your own beds. There we go. Oh my God, Dylan, what did you do?
Dylan dug a hole up in the ceiling and he could see both Mo and Hugh in the bedroom.
Dylan: Heh heh heh! Hi.
Mo: OK, whatever. So how do we build a compressor?
Hugh: Hey Mo, I'm gonna bone on your bed.
Mo: OK. Have fun, have fun. How do we make a compressor, YoshitoMario?
Hugh: OK right! Are you ready to learn?
Dylan: Yoshi, stop being so loud.
Mo: Here, have some flowers. Where are you?
Hugh: I'm behind you.
Mo: Dylan? Dylan!
Dylan: Yoshi, use your inside voice. Hi.
Mo: Flowers~
Dylan: Oh my God~
Mo: They're purple~
Dylan: Ah~
Hugh punched Mo in the back.
Mo: Oh God! Why did you do that?
Hugh: That's for me not getting any flowers, bitch.
Mo: Um, I have a bone too. I can bring it out.
Dylan: Yoshi, would you like some flowers?
Hugh: Look at this bone, ah yeah!
Mo: Alright stop it! Stop it. We're gonna learn how to make compressors, OK?
Dylan: We are the pinnacle of maturity.
Hugh: We really really are.
Dylan: Would you like some flowers?
Hugh: Ah I'd love it, honeybun.
Dylan: I'll just put these in the chest.
Mo: Honeybun?
Hugh: OK are you ready to learn, Mo?
Mo: Yeah.
Mo started throwing eggs downstairs.
Dylan: Oh my God you've asked this like 7 times!
Hugh: I know.
The eggs that Mo threw had chicken babies in them!
Mo: Chicken babies! Look at the chicken babies! Look at the chicken babies~ Aww~
Hugh: Right, Mo, I'm gonna give you a list of everything you need.
Mo: OK. Dylan please don't kill them, wait for them to grow, and then we slaughter them.
Dylan: Haha. It's like a proper Amish family.
Hugh: You are going to need 6 smooth stone
Mo: Um, oh Jesus. I don't have any, do you have any?
Dylan: I'm going to look after these chickens. Your name is Jerry.
Hugh: I have none.
Mo: OK, well I'm gonna start cooking some.
Hugh: OK, you do that. We also need... let me see... we need 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 refined iron.
Mo: 8 what?
Hugh: 8 refined iron.
Mo: Um, do we have any of that?
Hugh: Yes we do.
Mo: K, here it is, refined iron. I have that, check.
Hugh: K you need 8 of that. K, you need 2 redstone, and another piece of refined iron, so 9 in total.
Mo: K, yes, I have that.
Dylan: I need some wheat.
Hugh: And you need 6 copper cable, and that's all you need bro.
Mo: 6 copper cable? OK what do I need to make copper cable? Copper and rubber?
Hugh: Alright! Let's do this! So first, you're going to make the machine block. It's made of refined iron, that's done like our furnaces with a space in the middle.
Dylan: Come back Jerry! Don't try to swim!
Mo: Hahahaha, I love what is going on here. I have a machine block, should I place it down?
Dylan: Nooooo! Jerry! Please stay in here.
Hugh: OK, so for the next step... no you don't place it down. You don't place it down.Mo: K, I picked it back up. Actually you picked it up, dick.
Hugh: OK I'll give it to you later. Now, this is the more complex one. Are you ready for this?
Mo: I'm ready.
Dylan: Thank you Jerry.
Hugh: K, go to the crafting bench bro.
Mo: I'm here.
Hugh: OK, on the top row, you're gonna have 3 copper cable.
Dylan: Jerry! Stop trying to swim!
Mo: 3 copper? OK, do I have to make copper cable? Cause I already know how to make that.
Hugh: You do, but there's only enough in the chest.
Dylan: Where's the wheat?
Mo: Should I make the copper cable insulated or uninsulated?
Hugh: It's just normal copper cable, it's fine.
Mo: Like, without the rubber on it? OK, look, this one? Or this one?
Hugh: Hold on, wait, I can't see.
Mo: This one here? Or this one?
Hugh: 2nd one.
Dylan: How do I make a fence, like gate door thing that I can open, a stable? Stable thing.
Mo: Uh, I think you need sticks and wood.
Dylan: No I used all of my sticks!
Hugh: Uh, you need 4 sticks, uh, and-
Mo: Can you give me back my copper cable with the rubber on it?
Dylan: Sorry? 4 sticks and what?
Hugh: 4 sticks and 2 pieces of wooden planks.
Dylan: OK, 4 sticks...
Hugh: I'm like the guru.
Mo: Yes you are.
Dylan: Game Guru?
Mo: Alright so Yoshi, what do I do with this copper cable?
Hugh: OK, top row is 3 of that.
Mo: OK.
Hugh: K, bottom row-
Dylan: Jerry you're too far in the middle of the scavenger!
Hugh: Dylan! ...Bottom row is 3 of that.
Mo: Hahahaha, I'm loving this.
Hugh: This is amazing. OK...
Mo: Uh-huh?
Dylan: This isn't funny.
Hugh: So you have like a copper cable sandwich, right?
Mo: Uh-huh.
Hugh: OK. and then in the middle, on the left and the right you need redstone, and in the very center you need refined iron. And that should make an electronic circuit.
Mo: It's an electronic circuit! I have it! Look at it! It's an Etch & Sketch!
Hugh: Nice! Now you need 6- OK, this is intense. You need 6 smooth stone...
Dylan: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Mo: Yes?
Dylan: Come on buddy!
Hugh: You've got 6 smooth stone, yeah?
Mo: Yeah.
Dylan: No! He fell in the water!
Hugh: OK, 3 smooth stone on either side...
Dylan: Jerry you fell in the water!
Mo: Uh-huh.
Hugh: And then in the middle is the machine block, and on the bottom is the elctronic circuit, and that's it.
Dylan: I need bonemeal. Yoshi, give me that bone.
Mo: A compressor! I have it! I have created it!
Hugh: Woooooo!
Dylan: Give me the bone give me the bone give me the bone give me the bone. C'mon c'mon c'mon.
Hugh: Gotta go faster faster faster faster faster!
Dylan: Give me the bone! I don't care!
Hugh: I GAVE YOU THE BONE!!! It's there! By the house!
Mo: Oh my God, you guys are very loud.
Dylan: OK thank you.
Mo: Dylan, what have you accomplished in this chapter other than yelling?
Continued in Chapter 10!
________________________________________________
Chapter 10
The Tale of Jerry
________________________________________________
Current Date: September 9th 2012
Days Stranded: 33
Last time on Tekkit, our heroes built a basement and Hugh acted like an idiot! Plus they made a compressor, which is cool.
Dylan: Mo come look at this. Look at poor little Jerry, he's stuck, he's stuck! Mo come outside.
Mo: Here, let me show you how many fucks I give about Jerry. Jerry! JERRY!
Mo killed one of Dylan's Jerries!
Dylan: YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Mo: Pfffft... hahahahahahaha! Are you gonna stop yelling now, Dylan? You see what I had to do? Sniff... I might be laughing now...
Dylan: *sobs* I hate you!
Mo: ...But I'm laughing out of pain OK? It hurt to do that, OK Dylan?
Dylan: I hate you! You suck!
Hugh: Hahaha!
Dylan: And then Yoshi kills one! I still have 3 Jerries...
Hugh: It's quite fun actually, Mo. I've got to give it to you, it's quite good.
Dylan: I'm leaving, I'm taking my Jerries with me!
Hugh: HOOOOWEEEEEAAAAAAEEEE!
Dylan: You son of a bitch! Now there's a giant cock behind me!
Mo: Cock?
Hugh: Earth Angel! Earth Angeeeel!
Mo: There's a giant cock behind you?
Dylan: Yeah, it's Yoshi.
Mo: What the fuck is wrong with you guys?
Hugh: It's slime and time!
Mo: Oh my God, shut up please.
Hugh: Hahaha.
Dylan: You were the 3 who lived. NO!!! Yoshi! I swear!
Hugh: I'm not gonna kill any, I just love how I walked in and your head has a little spasm!
Dylan: I will punch you in the face at PAX East if I have to, if you dare.
Mo: Oh you crossed the line with Yoshi there, buddy. He does not enjoy being punched in the face.
Some time later, Mo finished building the staircase for their basement floor.
Dylan: No I had 3 Jerries and now I only have 2!
Hugh: He's out here.
Mo: Oh, all of their names are Jerry? I didn't know that part.
Hugh: I'm the guardkeeper, if you get out, I'll just block you back up.
Dylan: Stop it! Seriously, would you stop?
Hugh: Haha!
Mo: Uh, what is going on? I don't even understand what's going on, I'm worried for you guys as well as me.
Hugh: Hey Dylan, look at this.
Dylan: No! No! No! No!
Hugh: I'm in your stable, and I've got a sword!
Dylan: No! No!
Mo: I am genuinely worried about what is going on with you guys right now!
Hugh: Heh heh heh.
Dylan broke through the wall of the stable and started attacking Hugh!
Mo: Oh my God!
Dylan: Go away!
Hugh: Aaaah!
Mo: Oh my God!
Hugh: Aaaaah!
YOSHITOMARIO WAS KILLED BY JETHROTEX!
Hugh: Aaaah!
Mo: Oh my God! Hahaha! OH! Oh and there's a skeleton with you! Hahahaha! What the fuck is going on?!
Dylan: NO! I forgot about the opening!
Hugh: I wasn't going to do anything, but now...
Mo: How many are left?
Hugh: I'm gonna hunt one of your Jerries.
Mo: There's only 2 left?
Dylan: There's one outside in the cruel cruel world! He can't live without me! Jerry!
Hugh: Hey Dylan, in a minute they'll be in the hot hot depths of hell.
Dylan: Shut up. They're not going to hell.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Do you have any wheat Dylan?
Dylan: Yeah but right now you know what I'm gonna use this for Jerry.
Mo: Well I'm trying to put him in this little hole here.
Dylan: Where's Jerry?
Mo: He's on the roof.
Dylan: Oh he's on the roof!
Mo: He's in my house.
Dylan: What a smart boy! Danger on the top bunk! Yoshi get the hell away from there!
Hugh: Hahahahaha!
Mo: Oh he's here. Look at him, he's here.
Hugh: Holy shit! Dylan you're actually scaring me!
Mo: Do you want some cooked chicken? Do you want some bones?
Hugh: He got out! They got out! Dylan!
Dylan: NOOOO!!
Mo: Hahahahaa!
Hugh: Hahaha!
Dylan: This is the dumbest thing you guys have ever done!
Mo: What is going on?
Dylan: Stop it!
Hugh: Hohohoho!
Mo: Can we make an actual chicken pen and just continue along with our adventures?
Hugh: This is like the best thing ever!
Dylan: No! You guys are dicks! These are cute little- oh 3rd Jerry! How are you? Stop hitting me! Stop hitting Jerry!
Mo: You should name one of them 3rd Jerry Brother.
Hugh: Hahaha. I love how they're running on one name though.
Mo: 3rd Jerry Brother, in honor of our sigthru brother.
Mo continued working on expanding the basement.
Mo: Oh my God, I'm trying to um...
Dylan: You guys OK?
Mo heard a Jerry dying.
Dylan: NOOOOOOO!!!
Mo: Oh my God. I just hear chickens dying outside.
Dylan: You killed 2 of them!
Hugh: Hahahaha! I only hit one!
Mo: Yoshi, you laugh like a little maniac. I just thought I'd let you know that.
Hugh: Ahahaha! I know, that's my true laugh.
Dylan: If you kill this Jerry, I'm done.
Hugh: OK I won't kill Jerry. Notice how I said Jerry, singular.
Dylan: 2 Jerries.
Hugh: Ooh, that's harsh. See, you took my gear though, that's what I need back.
Mo: Are you sure?
Hugh: So stop killing me.
Dylan: Well maybe if you just asked for it instead of killing my chickens!
Mo: Oh my god, there is a thing in here.
Dylan: You went in there and killed 2 of my chickens!
Mo: There's a thing hitting me! Oh my God there's a creeper! Calm down, I got it I got it, I got it. We're good.
Dylan: Come on Jerry, get in the pen. Come on buddy, come on buddy~ Yeah there you go~ Good boy, good boy~ Stop it Yoshi. Stop it.
Mo: OK we're good. I'm gonna decorate this.
Dylan: He's not in the pen yet!
Hugh: He's on your head!
Mo: Can we now resume our normal schedule thing?
Dylan: No, not until Jerry is in here.
Hugh: Heh heh heh.
Mo: Jesus Christ...
Hugh: You need to make the thumbnail for this, chicken on Dylan's head.
Mo: This is not good, this is not going well.
Hugh: This is going brilliant, I'm loving this.
Dylan: Now if you guys kill Jerry, I swear, all hell will break loose. It's not my fault, it's all Yoshi's fault. And your fault, you killed them too.
Mo: Hey, one of them was drowning, I spared him from his sorrow.
Dylan: I saved them while they were drowning. OK, so now that Jerry's in the pen, I can actually resume my daily task. What do we have to do?
Mo: Um, I'm just making an underground, you should go and pick up all of the shit that's downstairs.
Dylan: I need to take out the rest of this wood that Yoshi trapped me in. Hi Jerry, how are you?
Hugh: Jeez Dylan, you need help.
Dylan: No I don't.
Mo: Do you have any wood? I need more wood, we don't have enough wood.
Dylan: Yeah um, I'm picking it up right now. Did you kill my pet platypus?
Mo: I'm not telling you.
Hugh: Ooooh crap. Was it a doctor?
Dylan: No, he didn't finish his MD.
Mo: Oh sh- fuck.
Hugh: I hate it when kids do that too.
Mo: Um, I may or may not destroyed the chest.
Dylan: Heh heh heh, hahaha!
Mo: I gotta like scour through this now and find a chest.
Dylan: How did you do this? It's on the floor here, Mo.
Mo: Do you have it?
Dylan: It's right here Mo. No I don't have it cause my inventory's full.
Mo: Oh, OK. There it is.
Dylan: Yay.
Mo: OK, now we gotta slowly put everything in chests. I'm gonna make a chest solely for cobblestone. There we go, this is enough lighting.
Dylan: Wait, let me just like put all of this stuff in here just so I can-
Mo: No, organize stuff! Because we're so unorganized.
Dylan: Wait! I need to pick up the stuff off of the ground so it doesn't despawn.
Mo: It's not going to despawn anytime soon, dude.
Dylan: I know, but still. I'd rather not have mess ups here.
Mo: OK this one is going to be for tools and things. And uh, how about monster drops, and leaves.
Dylan: Put a sign so I know where to put things.
Mo: I don't know where to put things dude, I'm just putting them in random chests. OK this one is going to be for cobblestone and dirt. Oh you already picked up everything.
Dylan: Yeah I picked up everything.
Mo: Hey Dylan, ready for this? Come here.
Dylan: Yes?
Mo: Come upstairs, I'll show you something magnificent.
Hugh: Wow, that sounds good.
Mo broke the 2nd chest upstairs and all of the items came out.
Dylan: Oh my goodness.
Mo: I love how they just implode. Pbbbbth. Heh.
Dylan: Heh heh heh.
Mo: Yes, that is the sound they make.
Dylan: No they explode because they kind of blow out instead of blow in.
Mo: Shu- j-j-j-j- Dylan? Did I ask for your opinion?
Dylan: That's not my opinion, it's more so a fact.
Mo: Hey, did I ask for your fat?
Dylan: Heh heh. I dunno man, sometimes you just get what you get. Fat sometimes I think. Alright you know what? I'm just gonna like, throw this stuff on the ground right over here.
Mo: OK we're gonna have 1 chest that's for ores, the other one is going to be for tools, the other one is going to be for drops and things, and the last one is going to be for dirt and cobblestone because we literally need that many for dirt and cobblestone only.
Dylan: Here Mo, everything's on the floor here.
Mo: And sand.
Dylan: Oh yes, sand, I love sand. Man, I'm actually really tired from yelling about all of that because you guys are massive dicks. I loved those chickens.
Mo: Why... Why did that happen? I'm slightly scared now.
Dylan: Because, you had 5 chickens, and they were little poor baby chickens that I wanted to protect.
Mo: Well I created them in the first place.
Dylan: Yeah, but I want to protect them. Have you not heard of adoptive parents? I might have adopted those chickens regardless of you, because you were neglectful to those chickens, Mo!
Mo: Sorry...
Hugh: To be fair, I think it was all me, but...
Mo: I'm sorry Dylan. Will you accept my apologize?
Dylan: Sure.
Hugh: There we go, Yoshi's in ready to cause some freaking chicken havoc.
Dylan: It's your fault.
Mo: Thanks.
Dylan: I swear to God...
Mo: Thanks for accepting my apologize.
Dylan: Yoshi.
Hugh: Whatchu gonna do?
Dylan: Don't do it. No! I saw you hit him!
Hugh: I hit him once, he's fine.
Dylan: No, leave him alone. Don't hit him at all! Gasp, he grew up!
Mo: One of them grew up?
Dylan: Aw...
Hugh: Aw yeah.
Mo: The chests are almost organized guys.
Dylan: He'll be safer in the real world.
Hugh: You're mothering those bitches.
Dylan: I think you have to go- no Yoshi don't. Yoshi, don't. Go, go, fly away. No Yoshi don't! Goodbye, goodbye Jerry! Go out into the real world, go with your chicken bretheren! Go swim, do what you want. Why are your feet webbed? I don't think chickens have that. Yeah I guess, it's weird they're like squares.
Mo: They're a hybrid between chickens and ducks.
Dylan: Go on Jerry! Good boy! Stop, Yoshi. Yoshi, stop.
Hugh: I want to know what it's like to be a chicken!
YOSHITOMARIO WAS KILLED BY JETHROTEX!
Hugh: Ahahahaa!
Mo: Oh my God.
Hugh: You're giving me my ruby sword back.
Mo: This is still happening?
Dylan: I will, I will. Just wait.
Mo: This is truly still happening?
Dylan: This is... this is like that episode of Pokemon where Pikachu found all of his Pikachu friends, Jerry found 2 other chicken friends. Jerry...
Mo: Oh, so is it going to be like the Butterfree one where you let him go?
Dylan: Sniff... this is like the Butterfree one where I let him go...
Mo: OK well I want to go film this, where are you?
Dylan: I swear Yoshi, just... good boy.
Mo: Where are you?
Hugh: Hey, chickens killed my parents.
Dylan: No, no I'm not telling you where I am.
Mo: I'm here. Hello.
Hugh: I'm going to get some form of vengeance, come on dude.
Mo: Is that Jerry? He's all grown up!
Dylan: Jerry's all grown up with his friends.
Mo: Jerry!
Dylan: Please stop. Mo, please stop.
Mo: Jerry!
Dylan: Mo, I know what you're going to do.
Mo: Is this one Jerry?
Dylan: No. I'm not telling you.
Mo: Is this dog Jerry?
Dylan: No. I know what you're gonna do.
Mo: Jerry~ Is this-
Dylan: Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo!
Mo: What? I'm cutting down a tree.
Dylan: Stop.
Hugh: Heh heh.
Mo: Jesus, dude.
Hugh: Dylan, you've genuinely got a connection to this freakin' chicken.
Mo: Freakin' chicken, that rhymes! Hahahahaha!
Hugh: Haha! Freakin' chicken!
Mo: I'm gonna pick up this oil, because...
Hugh: I wanna go to KFC and get some freakin' chicken.
Mo: Apparently I'm the only person that works now. Everyone else just does other shit.
Hugh: Does anyone else find it entertaining that I referenced KFC?
Dylan: No it's not my fault, if you guys didn't kill those chickens and just left them alive...
Mo: I didn't do anything!
Dylan: This would have been completely different. You killed the first one, and then it led to Yoshi killing the rest of them.
Mo: Hey, I did no such thing, I have 2 oil buckets though.
Dylan: You know what? When this series is over, I'm suing you guys for chicken slaughter.
Continued in Chapter 11!
________________________________________________
Chapter 11
Home Improvements
________________________________________________
Current Date: Sepember 11th 2012
Days Stranded: 35
Last time on Tekkit, hardly anything got done! Dylan's Jerries got killed and everyone yelled a lot. Yeah...
Mo: Hey guys, so we um, or sorry, I organized all of the chests while these guys did absolutely nothing to help.
In the basement were 4 large chests, Mo moved them downstairs to save room on the first floor.
Dylan: Yoshi, stop. Please. Thank you.
Mo: You're welcome. I organized all of the chests, because these guys were too lazy to do anything.
Dylan: Thank you for your hard work, Mo.
Mo: You're welcome, guys. I do it for the fan fiction.
Hugh: We were doing stuff.
Mo: No you weren't, you couldn't even make a successful farm, nothing's grown!
Hugh: Hey mine's growing, growing away.
Mo: What have you accomplished?
Hugh: Growing some farm.
Dylan: I dunno man, I bonded.
Mo: So in the last chapter, you taught me how to make a compressor, and then proceeded to slaughtering Dylan's poor chickens.
Hugh: Yeah that was an adventurous chapter.
Dylan: I hate you guys.
Hugh: Dylan made a bond, that's the best kind of completion you can have. Um, I killed that bond which is also the best kind of completion you can have.
Dylan: Mo, I don't think we should have Yoshi on the Mo Show anymore. I'm sorry.
Mo: This isn't the Mo Show, Dylan, are you stupid?
Hugh: Wow, that's almost as bad as when you said I'm a bad commentator.
Mo: That was true.
Dylan: That's still a constant thing.
Mo: It's still true here Yoshi.
Hugh: I'm walking off into the distance and never coming back.
Dylan: Make friends with Jerry.
Mo: Alright, I think we should start moving these furnaces or something. Like, make a furnace area downstairs too. How should we even organize this house? It's not very well organized, is it?
Mo cleared out all of the furnaces on the first floor.
Mo: This should be our living area, we should put beds here.
Dylan: Why don't we have our smelting area just right here?
Hugh: Dude, if we use the saw, you can make some really cool looking furniture.
Dylan: Oh, cool.
Mo: Use the what?
Hugh: The saw, the handsaw, the bandsaw, the chainsaw, the penis.
Mo: How do you do that? Well, I just had a cool idea. Look at our furnaces.
Mo put the furnaces above the chests in the basement.
Dylan: Ooh, that looks sick, that's nice.
Hugh: Hey Dylan.
Dylan: Hey?
Hugh: Have a Jerry.
Mo: Oh my God, did you just give him a piece of chicken? Are you tossing around like Jerry's body parts right now?
Hugh: I'm tossing around my meat.
Mo: Alright, I'm gonna fix the outside now because I know there's a lot of holes outside. Yeah there are, this is not good.
Hugh: Hey that's my property bro. Dylan, I'm just gonna do the worst sight you'll ever see. You ready for this?
Dylan: No.
Hugh: Look at the Jerry's fly.
Dylan: Those weren't Jerry.
Hugh: Yeah they were.
Dylan: Mo, what are you even doing anyways?
Mo: I dunno.
Dylan: Do you wanna leave the sidewalls sand though? The little entrance.
Hugh: No.
Mo: Do whatever you want OK?
Hugh: What do you mean? Just like down the stairway here? Uh, I think it looks okay.
Dylan: Yeah. Hi, Mo.
Mo: Hey.
Dylan: We're here to do productive things finally.
Mo: Yeah!
Hugh: I'm gonna go shave some trees.
Mo: Oh God, that's not very-
Hugh: I'm joking.
Mo: OK I'm fixing up this shit cause I know I created a lot of holes. OK, we're good. The house looks pretty.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Uh...
Dylan: Mo, you didn't create the holes, the creepers that exploded on us did.
Mo: This looks pretty. Alright, I think we got a good house going here.
Hugh: We have.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: We organized the chests finally.
Hugh: It's small, it's quaint...
Dylan: How do you make stone bricks? Do you like put 4 smooth stone or something?
Mo: Uh, yeah.
Hugh: I can't remember, actually. I never make that.
Mo: Alright, so where should we make our crafting area? I think we should actually turn the second floor into a living quarters somehow.
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: Where your bedroom is?
Mo: I don't have one of those that you're talking about.
Hugh: Sure you don't. Yeah, OK.
Mo: So, we gotta make a second floor of the house, I guess.
Hugh: Let's do it.
Mo: Uh, you guys work on that, I'm gonna go lay down all these things that we have created.
Mo went downstairs and put in the iron furnace, compressor, and generator.
Hugh: Nice.
Dylan: Jerry left a present!
Mo: What did he leave?
Hugh: Chicken in my mouth.
Dylan: He left an egg.
Mo: A baby? You should like throw it, and uh, it's pretty much like a real baby, like there's a chance that you could get it, so... just pretend Jerry can either be fertile or infertile.
Dylan: It's like one of those women who don't have like a big, uh, like a big chance to get pregnant or whatever. It's just like a miss or miss.
Hugh: Oh yeah.
Dylan: But then she finds out that her husband had a vasectomy hours ago and he's just using it to have lots and lots of sex.
Hugh: How much sex can you only have in like hours?
Dylan: I dunno. She found out hours ago.
Hugh: Heh.
Mo: OK so how do you tell the difference between these things?
Hugh: Between what?
Mo: OK, one of them is a compressor, one of them is an iron furnace, and the other one is a generator.
Dylan: Man, the compressor looks terrible, it just- oh, never mind.
Mo: OK, the iron furnace I'm gonna put it like up here.
Mo put the iron furnace above the opposite wall of the one that had 5 furnaces.
Mo: There we go, there's an iron furnace.
Hugh: That looks pretty cool, I like that. Nice.
Dylan: What does a compressor do?
Mo: Um, it makes rubber I think, or something, I dunno.
Hugh: I don't know how it does that, I need to look into it.
Mo: What does a generator do?
Hugh: Generates power.
Dylan: Sounds cool.
Hugh: I know right? OK Dylan, what are we doing here then?
Dylan: Um...
Hugh: Should we just build it up the same size?
Dylan: Yeah, pretty much. Let's put a staircase here and go up that way.
Hugh: I think a ladder would be better. I dunno, that's just me.
Dylan: I like these iron generators.
Mo: Iron furnace.
Dylan: I like how the fact that they actually gave you the option to have something faster.
Mo: Yeah, it's nice.
Hugh: Yeah, it's pretty nice.
Dylan: Man, every chapter after that Jerry chapter is gonna be so uneventful.
Mo: Doesn't matter, OK?
Dylan: I'm just tired now.
Mo: Can you make things out of refined iron? Like, normal armor out of refined iron? No you can't.
Dylan: No.
Mo: Whateva'. So yeah, we organized our chests, that is a good thing. And now, we shall proceed to making an upstairs. Except it's night time so we should probably not do that right now.
Dylan: Yay.
Hugh: We should all make a bed and all sleep, but we don't have enough wool do we?
Mo: Nope, only I have a bed, cause I'm the only one that did anything ever.
Dylan: Wow Mo, we did lots of things together, we found food, I got a lot of food.
Mo: Nuh-uh. I don't know why, the roof of the house is just a random mess. OK, what the hell is this? "Yoshi's Booty Farm"?
Dylan: Ahahahahaha! I never read that sign.
Hugh: Wait, what flavor is it, Mo?
Mo: Uh, You flavor.
Hugh: It's Orange flavor.
Mo: I just took out a piece of wheat on accident. Or rather, I didn't know that it wasn't grown. Creeper! No! Damn it.
Dylan: That's why you don't just charge at it.
Hugh: Wow, that was so close to destroying the house. So close.
Mo: Shut up, I thought it wouldn't blow up.
Dylan: Oh it got like 2 pieces of wood but it didn't really get it.
Hugh: I wouldn't have forgiven you, you know that?
Mo: I don't care that you don't care.
Hugh: Oh shit!
Mo: Oh God there's another creeper! There's another creeper! Dylan Dylan move! I'll get the creeper. Hold on, hold on, I got it, got it!
Dylan: Oh God, there's a spider on the roof.
Mo: There's a spider where?
Dylan: You know what I think would be a better idea for wool? Is if instead of um...
Mo: You know what I just- we can make wool out of string.
Hugh: Oh yeah.
Dylan: Yeah, that's what I was going to say. We should just go spider hunting.
Mo: We already have a bunch of string. Except I used it all to make a-
Hugh: We killed a lot of dem spiders.
Mo: I'm gonna go get the string. We're idiots, I'm sorry.
Dylan: No, I just- I'm the one who came up with the idea.
Hugh: How much string do we have?
Mo: We are idiots. Um...
Hugh: There's some string on the roof.
Dylan: Yeah, I got it. No wait...
Hugh: I can't quite get it.
Dylan: I got it.
Mo: Do you have wood? Does any of you have wood?
Dylan: Yeah we need to fix that. Um, no I don't.
Hugh: Um, no.
Mo: K we gotta go wood hunting soon then. Lumberjack mode!
Dylan: This is so weird.
Hugh: Don't you mean woodchopping?
Dylan: Wow, we really don't have any wood. I know the chests are organized.
Hugh: OK, let's go on a little wood trip.
Some time later, Mo made 2 more beds, and he proceeded to finishing the second floor.
Dylan: Man, the map's gonna change once we're finished with this forest.
Mo: What do you mean? Oh, yeah.
Hugh: True dat.
Mo: There's already a big piece of brown on it cause someone can't apparently control their explosions. Their explosive attitude.
Dylan: I love how it's like you can see like an explosion on the map or whatever.
Hugh: Yoshi had an explosion, and now there's a massive bit of brown on the map.
Mo: Thank you, thank you for clarifying that.
Hugh: Yeah, no worries. I'm always here to entertain with poop and shit jokes.
Mo: Thank you for uh, clarifying that.
Hugh: No worries, no worries. I got yo back.
Dylan: Um, Mo, I have a stack-
Hugh: By the way, there's a creeper outside the house, I'd watch out.
Mo: What?
Dylan: I do know that.
Mo: What are you talking about?
Dylan: Oh shoot!
Hugh: Dylan.
Mo: Is Dylan dead?
Hugh: Oh!
Some time later...
Mo: Cause it is a stack, a stack of picks.
Dylan: I know it's a stack, but it looked like a 64 stack.  Like you know, a Nintendo 64 stack.
Hugh: Yeah stackin' that sixty fo!
Mo: That was very non-British of you. Wha-oo-oo-oo. OK.
Dylan: Are you starting to sing One Direction? I'd love to take part in this, I wonder if some other sort of collaberative group has done that already.
Hugh: And has hit 20k views on it in 2 weeks.
Mo: Are you talking about me?
Dylan: The Mo Show?
Mo: That was me, I sang One Direction once on the Mo Show, and then I got a hundred million views.
Dylan: And then you got copyroghted.
Mo: And then I gained internet fame, and I went on to become Harry Potter.
Dylan: Mo, you should sound more enthusiastic about that.
Mo: I ONCE HIT ONE HUNDRED MILLION VIEWS ON YOUTUBE AND THEN I BECAME HARRY POTTER. Oh my God, there's a bunch of chickens chasing you.
Dylan: You're not actually being enthusiastic.
Mo: Oh. I once hit one hundred million views on the Youtube, and then I was Mary Poppins! *said in a British accent*
Dylan: Heh heh heh heh, you were uh, Yoshi's old nanny.
Mo: Oh yeah.
Hugh: I totally have one like that as well.
Mo: Why did you just cover up the hole that I just punched?
Hugh: I'm creating a homage to the chickens.
Mo: Alright Dylan, look at upstairs. Hold on, I gotta create some stairs or something.
Dylan: Please stop making more chickens, I don't want to be in anyway reminded. Somewheeere over-
Mo: Why do you always resort to singing this song?
Dylan: I have no idea.
Mo: Why can't we just have a non-awkward silence Dylan? Why can't you let me do that ever, OK? Have you ever watched the movie Pulp Fiction? Have you noticed how they had a comfortable silence? Why can't we have that huh?!
Hugh: That was a comfortable silence.
Dylan: I've never watched Pulp Fiction, I still need to watch that.
Mo: Why am I yelling so much now? I'm sorry.
Hugh: Cause that's dead.
Dylan: Mo you should be, it's starting to hurt.
Mo: Hurt your dignity or your ears or your dick?
Dylan: Hee hee, I knew you were going to say that!
Mo: Ha, I knew I was going to say that too.
Dylan: You know what? Maybe if you weren't so rude, maybe we could just have a nice thing, but no, we can't have nice things.
Hugh: Does he look like a bitch?
Dylan: Heh.
Mo: Heh, oh my God, what has this turned into?
Hugh: Heh heh heh. I'm Taxi Dave, Taxi Dave, in my black and yellow black and yellow cab!
Dylan: Shut up.
Hugh: That's a good song.
Mo: Godammit, there's a freaking chicken in my hole and it doesn't allow me to fill it in!
Hugh: Pffft, hahahahahaha!
Mo: Yes! There it is, OK.
Hugh: Hahaha!
Mo: Yoshi, you take this stack of this wood and this one.
Hugh: Oh my God, my mind is really dirty today!
Mo: What do you mean? You should clean it up.
Hugh: There's a chicken in my hole, and I don't know how to fit it in!
Mo: What?
Dylan: Wha?
Mo: How does that even? K Dylan, can you give me some wood?
Hugh: I dunno, I'm just digging for holes right now.
Dylan: Sorry? What did you say, Mo?
Mo: Can I have allowed to be some wood?
Dylan: Uh, yeah, sure, I'm gonna go ahead and get that.
Mo: You have it in your hand.
Dylan: I do?
Mo: You have it in your hand! I'm looking at it.
Dylan: Well yeah, this is only 2.
Mo: Give me the 2 wood. Thank you.
Dylan: Hi chicken.
Mo: OK, now I'm gonna create a stairs.
Dylan: Be free with the rest of your friends. Alright, now I need to go cut down some more trees, I'm gonna go ahead and do that.
Hugh: Wait I thought we were doing ladders.
Mo: Oh yeah, I think we should.
Hugh: It looks better honestly, and you can have it on both sides of these pillars if you do another pillar here like that. Let me go make some ladders.
Dylan: Man, I really... I kinda dislike the fact that um...
Mo: That what, Dylan?
Dylan: The wood is different color, cause now I have to actually hunt for different wood if I need a specific type of wood.
Hugh: Yeah, I like it, but yeah that's annoying about it.
Dylan: I like chilled pengiuns. Only on FX, and Showtime, and HBO.
Mo: And also Cinemax.
Dylan: And C-span, and also BBC.
Hugh: Yeah! BBC! Representin'!
Mo: God dammit, why did you have to say that? Now he's gonna like jizz all over us.
Dylan: Now he's gonna have like an ego because of this. Like, "British people actually make good things."
Hugh: Yeah! British people! Woo!
Mo: "British people have their own television? Oh my God!"
Hugh: Yeah British people are the OBs, the Original Brits.
Mo: That was fucking terrible.
Hugh: No, it's amazing.
Dylan: That was pretty good.
Mo: K, I'm gonna work on this.
Dylan: Are we ever gonna use light wool, or should I stop cutting birch?
Mo: Light wool or wood?
Dylan: Or sorry, wood, yeah.
Mo: I dunno, we could just use it for the roof or something.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Hey there's iron under our house.
Dylan: Oh boy, our house is on a goldmine! Sorry, an ironmine.
Mo: Yeah!
I'm sure you're confused as to what's happening in the house. Basically, on the first floor on the right side, there are 2 ladders that go to the second floor, which is the bedroom. All of the chests and furnaces have been moved to the basement, they now have 4 large chests. The floor of the basement is now marble bricks, and the walls are stone bricks. The second floor still has an open ceiling, it has the 3 beds, and the walls and floor are wooden planks. Now then, let's continue on...
Dylan: Oh my God, the way it looks is like the worst- I can't get down cause of this stupid...
Hugh: Hahaha.
Mo: What are you talking about?
Hugh: It's your body telling you something. You know what you want.
Mo: What is it? What's going on?
Dylan: Go up those ladders.
Mo: Which ladders?
Dylan: The one that leads upstairs. OK, Mo, go up those ladders.
Mo: Uh, which ladders exactly?
Dylan: The ones that lead upstairs in our house.
Mo: Hold on, I'm gonna go up.
Dylan: Alright.
Mo: K, I'm going up.
Mo went upstairs and saw Hugh on the middle bed lying down.
Hugh: Hey Mo. I've been waiting for you.
Mo climbed on top of Hugh.
Mo: I'll take it off.
Mo took off his shirt and started humping Hugh!
Hugh: Aw yeah!
Mo: Aaaaaah!
Hugh: Aaaaah!
Mo: Aaaaah! Ahahahahahahaha!
Hugh: Weeeeeeeeeee!
Mo: See you guys next time!
Continued in Chapter 11.5!
________________________________________________
Chapter 11.5
Update ft. Slowpokes and Dylan
________________________________________________
Current Date: October 2nd 2012
Days Stranded: 56
Last time on Tekkit, our heroes finally got done upgrading their house! And then Mo and Hugh had sex. We then rejoin Mo and Dylan playing some video games...
Mo: Welcome back to Tekkit, this is Tekkit, and this is Dylan.
Dylan: Um, hi.
Mo: Hey Dylan.
Dylan: Mo? Would you like to-
Mo: Please remind the readers how this is Tekkit.
Dylan: Oh, because Mo was stupid and then deleted his audio.
Mo: Oh! That's right, so we're playing this instead for the meantime.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: So uh, to sum it all up, well first off we're playing some Minecraft adventure map of Pokemon. Um, I stole half your cookies, and I am an idiot... so I accidently deleted-
Dylan: Mo get up here.
Mo: What? What is it?
Dylan: The chest, the hidden chest.
Mo: There's something knocking on our door. Holy shit it's an Electabuzz!
Dylan: I told you.
Mo: Let's kill him, hit him!
Dylan: You just broke... Hit him with my lack of sword.
Mo: Dude, mom can pay for this, she like deposits money into our account every month.
Dylan: Deposits money into HER account.
Mo: Oh wait that's Gold and Silver, we're in the wrong generation. Anyway, uh, I am an idiot, and I didn't record my... or I did record my            audio but I accidently deleted it on Tekkit. Um, we recorded for like 2 hours, so that was good for like a billion freaking chapters. But, I am an idiot, once again. I can't like... how many times do I have to say this?
Dylan: A few.
Mo: You have to help me reiterate this I think.
Dylan: Yeah, it was a good few.
Mo: Yeah. Sooooo... um, we're playing this in the meantime, this is just for one chapter but... I'm making this mainly because I want to ask you guys- why is this door broken and why are there so many Slowpokes in here?
Dylan: Probably because- you hit me!
Mo: I'm sorry, it's Gary's fault.
Dylan: Ooh a map.
Mo: Ooh Slowpoketails! You can eat them? That is disgusting, I don't wanna eat this! There's also a door, oh hey another guy.
Dylan: Hey I have a map of Hoenn.
Mo: Hoenn or Kanto?
Dylan: Hoenn. We're in Hoenn aren't we?
Mo: No we're in Kanto.
Dylan: We are?
Mo: Yeah.
Dylan: Ew these are Slowpoketails, that's disgusting!
Mo: Dude we got the Boulder Badge.
Dylan: We did?
Mo: Yeah look.
Dylan: This is Gary's house.
Mo: He has 4 Boulder Badges, actually 5.
Dylan: Those are diamonds.
Mo: No these are Boulder Badges.
Dylan: Oh.
Mo: I dunno what they are in Pokemon, they look like Boulder Badges. God I keep getting distracted! Um, I wanted to ask you guys because I do still have the Tekkit chapter with Dylan and Hugh's voice. Which uh, Dylan's voice is enjoyable, but Hugh is pretty terrible. Um...
Dylan: Thank you.
Mo: Where... oh God another Electabuzz, help me please!
Dylan: Oh yeah, I don't have a sword.
Mo: Me neither.
Dylan: I'd take a week to kill these guys.
Mo: Yeah. So I was thinking, um, I would make a montage of what I still have, and then post-narrate it somehow. Uh, but basically montage everything I recorded, like those 2 hours, into either 1 or 2 chapters, and try to post-narrate it somehow. So...
Dylan: Hey Mo, have you ever been post-narrating something and been like, you know what thise needs? Urine.
Mo: Hey Dylan.
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: I don't like that.
Dylan: No one's gonna understand what that is cause of your mess-up!
Mo: Maybe! I could do the urine monologues, you never know!
Dylan: Hehehahaha.
Mo: Inside jokes are good.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: And they will remain that way.
Dylan: What? I got Charmander already.
Mo: Oh I got Squirtle I guess, that's why I have a fishing rod.
Dylan: Yup. There's stuff here by the way.
Mo: Why do we have arrows? Oh, you don't take the bow until you deliver the parcel.
Dylan: Oh yeah.
Mo: There's a sign here too. This is a pretty cool map, um, I'll put the download link in the description.
Here it is: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/mapping-and-modding-java-edition/maps/1458687-adv-pokemon-in-minecraft-complete-30-000-dl-by
Dylan: Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun-dun, dun-dun~ Are you gonna edit music in, Mo?
Mo: Maybe. Maybe we can do our own music, Dylan.
Dylan: Hey Mo, come here. The wonderful Trainer Tips. God these little things are cool, I don't know what these are.
Mo: What are they? Oh shit it's a Treeko!
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: "Press I to open your inventory!"
Dylan: Actually mine's E.
Mo: It's not doing anything!
Dylan: I know.
Mo: Damn it. Um, I don't think we're supposed to go over here.
Dylan: Yeah you're not allowed to yet.
Mo: "You may use this when you obtained the HM Surf!"
Dylan: Gasp! Oh my God that's so cool! Look at the grass that goes to Cinnabar! OK let's go.
Mo: That is freaking cool. We should like do this whole map.
Dylan: Oh my goodness, yes we should.
Mo: Actually, alright, I'm gonna put up Part 1, but I mean, depending on how me and Dylan- how bored we are. We may just record all of it. So if you guys would like to see the rest of this throughout the week, and then maybe on Friday I'll have that montage ready, of Tekkit.
Dylan: What do you mean how bored we are? This is so much fun, holy crap.
Mo: I mean like how bored we are right now.
Dylan: Oh! I found a wild... what the hell is this?
Mo: That's a Totodile, I think. You can just break the grass. Pretty sure that's a Totodile.
Dylan: No that can't be a Totodile. That would be dumb if that's a Totodile, that doesn't fit in with Pokemon canon.
Mo: Treeko doesn't either.
Dylan: Yeah that's right, you guys are stupid. Alright, this is um...
Mo: I think it is Totodile.
Dylan: Why is it snowing? It never snows in Pallet Town.
Mo: Ah dude there's a piece of egg in my hand.
Dylan: Uh...
Mo: Like an egg shell.
Dylan: Yeah, no one's gonna understand why.
Mo: They will, that's still going up sometime.
Dylan: Nono, they're not gonna understand why I told this.
Some time later...
Mo: And we're back. Oh shit, I'll help you out with this. Dylan?
Dylan: Hm-mmm?
Mo: Are you back for good?
Dylan: My computer...
Mo: What, froze? Wait, oh. I thought you just said your controller just- you're like underground for me. OK not anymore. You were like half-underground for me. Can we go to bed? Run back to Pallet Town!
JETHROTEX WAS KILLED BY A SPIDER! (In-game that is)
Dylan: That wasn't good.
Mo: A spider killed you? Oh shit it's a Spinarak!
Dylan: Oh no, this is totally not canonical.
Mo: Dude there's like Poochyena's too!
Dylan: Yeah, those are the wolves.
Mo: Shit. Pokemon Center! There's no beds in- oh there are. There's a lot of beds.
Dylan: Mo did you pick up my stuff?
Mo: No, just come here, just come sleep! Holy shit there's like a ton of cookies in here!
Dylan: Oh my goodness, I'm running. There's a Wobuffet, the Wobuffet's a creeper!
Mo: Come here. Oh God... that's probably not a good idea. Um, come to the Pokemon Center.
Dylan: I'm coming, I'm running. Yay, Viridian City!
Mo: Wait, we're in Viridian?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: I thought we were back in Pallet Town.
Dylan: No this is Viridian City.
Mo: OK OK, go in the bed! Go in the bed! ...Damn it! Let's kill the spider.
Dylan: Mo, you're the Pokemon Master, don't you know?
Mo: No I thought we were in Pallet Town.
Dylan: Dude, Pallet Town doesn't have a Pokemon Center.
Mo: Whatever... Get in bed!
Dylan: K. Hehehehe... Yes.
Mo: Dylan? Are you in bed?
Dylan: Yes I am.
The next day...
Mo: It is now daytime!
Dylan: Yaaaay.
Some time later...
Mo: Um, I am Red, and this is my partner... what's your name again?
Dylan: I'm Blue.
Mo: No, you're Gary.
Dylan: I'm my own original character.
Mo: "Oh hello. Can you deliver this to Professor Oak? It's in the chest." We have to deliver the lapis lazuli to him.
Dylan: Alright, let's go.
Mo: Why would Professor Oak want a lapis lazuli?
Dylan: Who knows, it's for his sexual fetishes.
Mo: I dunno. Anyway, what I wanted to say before we finish off this chapter because I don't know how long it will be- is that like I said, um, Tekkit. I'll try to make a montage of it, you guys leave in the comments what you would prefer to see. Um, but if you want to see the rest of this series, I can upload it throughout the week, and um, yeah so leave that in the comments please. I'm sure Dylan would appreciate that.
Dylan: Yeah I really would. Mo where are you?
Mo: Why is there a Swadloon in here? I just realized that, what is this block anyway?
Dylan: Is this supposed to be- you just broke Professor Oak's head.
Mo: Oh shit. Hehehehe... whoops. Sorry about that bro.
Dylan: It's okay, Oak.
Mo: Alright so we get a golden apple, I'm gonna put the lapis lazuli in there.
Some time later...
Mo: OK let's just um... uh... uh... don't come in here!
Dylan: OK.
Mo: Nonono, come in here, come in here!
Dylan: K.
Mo: Did he see me...? Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday to you~
Dylan: No Mo, you have to sing the Spanish version.
Mo: I'm switching, it's your birthday so I won't get mad at you. *Sings Happy Birthday in Spanish*
Dylan: Waitwaitwait, look at that look at that look at that.
Mo: Hehehehehe... Oh it's a freaking Solrock!
Dylan: What?
Mo: Hahahaha... There's a Solrock, look at the sun.
Dylan: Oh my God! That's so cool!
Mo: What did you want me to look at? I didn't even notice.
Dylan: Look at the sky, look over there. That gigantic nate.
Mo: What is that?
Dylan: I dunno. We'll find out soon. Let's go!
Mo: Hey Dylan. Happy birthday!
Dylan: Yaaaay.
Mo: I can't go to Toronto or wherever you live so I can't give you a hug.
But Mo can hug Dylan in the fan fiction.
Dylan: It's okay.
Mo: But um, everyone should go to his channel and wish him happy birthday.
Dylan: Even though this isn't gonna be uploaded today?
Mo: It will be uploaded today.
Dylan: Oh that's right.
Mo: You just don't know it.
Dylan: Oh... oh.
Mo: So happy birthday to Dylan!
Dylan: Yeah~ Oh Mo I got a potion.
Mo: Where? I don't even know where you went.
Dylan: Well this is the chest that has the potion.
Mo: "You may pass if you have the HM Cut." Well shit. I don't have Cut.
Dylan: That sucks.
Mo: I'm gonna go back.
Dylan: I bet Cut are just shears.
Mo: Get back cause I'm ready to attack!
Continued in Chapter 12!
________________________________________________
Chapter 12
Diamond Quest
________________________________________________
Current Date: October 7th 2012
Days Stranded: 61
Last time on Tekkit, Dylan is now 18 years old! As Mo explained in Chapter 11.5 this chapter and the next will be a bit different from the rest.
Mo: Testing in 1, 2, 7, 4, 5, 7, 5. Lost. Numbers. Computer. Generator. Baseball. Basketball. Tennis ball. Ragby, or Cricket.
Now we transition to Mo, Dylan, and Hugh sitting on their beds with a laptop that Mo had built. The 3 of them were watching a video of themselves going on a mining session.
Mo: And that is all you will hear from what was actually recorded, live on the thing. Welcome back to the fan fiction, I'm here with men.
Dylan: Hey.
Hugh: Heeeeelllo other men!
Mo: Oh God.
Dylan: No, Yoshi.
Hugh: Yes.
Mo: And now this chapter is ruined, oh man.
Dylan: This chapter is different now that I've removed Yoshi from the script.
Mo: Have you actually done this?
Dylan: I actually have.
Mo: I'm not aware. I'm looking at myself, seems to be looking pretty spiffy.
Dylan: Oh yeah that's right, you had a Bob the Builder skin.
Hugh: And Yoshi's back! Woo!
Mo: Oh boy, the greatest of commentators. Oh there you go, blowing up too! Alright, good stuff.
Hugh: I blew up there as well. Yeah, I have a tendency to kinda die in this one.
Mo: Uhhh...
Hugh: Just a little bit.
Mo: We might be able to see some dying action by Yoshi. So basically, um-
Hugh: Such as Mo actually completely ignoring any opportunities to give me aid.
Dylan: Hey that was the part where we talked about urine.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: What are you talking about, what's urine?
Hugh: We do, like, urine.
Mo: Hey Dylan, have you ever been like having a conversation and then been like, You know what this needs?
Dylan: You know what this needs? Urine.
Hugh: More urine.
Mo: Oh God.
Hugh: We're trying to suggest that it already has urine in it, and then you need to add more.
Mo: See, Dylan is super smart here, because he actually knocked me off the side there, and almost left me to die to a spider. And that is really smart.
Hugh: Dylan flossed it aside as well, I just slowly glided down.
Mo: I dunno. Did you fall, Dylan?
Dylan: I did fall.
Mo: Alright, so for those people that don't know, and have not yet figured out, this is a post commentary of a montage I have done because... um, my job is basically Youtube and I suck at my job I guess. Sorry.
Hugh: Pretty much.
Mo: That's all I can say.
Dylan: You should kill him.
Hugh: I think me and Dylan should team up and kill him.
Mo: You probably should, I mean, you'd probably have a hard time getting into Puerto Rico. You'd have to take like-
Hugh: And then me and Dylan can take over the channel, he can be Munching, and I can be Orange.
Dylan: And by me and Yoshi, I mean me and Mo are gonna kill Hugh.
Hugh: Yeah that's what I was thinking too.
Dylan: Exactly.
Hugh: See, we're on the same page here, finally.
Mo: We're gonna take over his extremely successful British radio broadcasting show-
Mo & Dylan: Pef and Sleep.
Mo: Heh.
Dylan: Hehehe.
Hugh: Oh yeah.
Dylan: There's no way in hell, that was already mine from the beginning.
Mo: Hey Dylan, you look like you're in a little bit of trouble, buddy. I should help you out, but instead I'm just gonna mine.
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: I love how he's just trapped in that wood kind of box, what were you even thinking then?
Dylan: I'm scared.
Mo: I was helping you, and then I just went off to mine instead of helping you.
Hugh: Hahaha! Mining is more important than Dylan in some instances.
Dylan: Thank you.
Hugh: In some cases!
Dylan: Thank you.
Hugh: In some!
Mo: In 90%.
Dylan: Yoshi, I'm feeling another remove from the script thing.
Hugh: No no no.
Mo: Hey, Hugh is my friend and I will defend him with Tyra Banks.
Dylan: Don't you mean Tyrone Donks?
Hugh: And you will defend me by technically not defending me when I start dying in this chapter as well, right?
Mo: Uh, that's uh probably gonna happen pretty soon.
Dylan: How could you not push Yoshi into the lava? He was right beside you.
Hugh: God, yeah how could you not? Pfft.
Mo: I dunno. There's some lava here, I'm kinda scared actually, I don't know if I ever die in this chapter though, I don't remember. This is pretty close, I'm a daring man, look at that!
Hugh: You're risking it, yeah.
Mo: I am such a daring guy. See, if I hadn't done this, you never would have found the cave you were gonna explore.
Hugh: And I never would have died oh so many times.
Dylan: I'm glad how you're spoiling this, Yoshi, you're a very good commentator. God...
Hugh: Wow. God, jeez...
Mo: Spoilers: Yoshi dies.
Dylan: Oh wow.
Hugh: That's not really a spoiler.
Mo: Not at this point anyway, you pretty much already brought it up about twenty billion times.
Dylan: Not even that, he's like died throughout the series that's only canon.
Hugh: Heh heh heh.
Mo: I think this is honestly just karma from the lynching of the trees.
Hugh: See, I thought that was a good deed.
Mo: What, lynching trees is a good deed?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: What country do you hail from?
Hugh: Hahaha!
Mo Where lynching trees is good.
Dylan: He comes from the UK, these are different people, Mo.
YOSHITOMARIO WAS SHOT BY A SKELETON!
Mo: Oh there we go.
Hugh: These are different people, not he, as a different person, these things-
Dylan: Hey look, it's starting. Hugh Murrell was shot by a skeleton.
Mo: I'm pretty sure I wrote out half of them, because I just felt bad.
Hugh: Well, there is at least some goodness in you. Thank you, thank you Mo.
Dylan: Wait, did that say Hugh Murrell or XX?
Hugh: Nononononono.
Mo: X X X Man? Oh I know that excellent channel. Oh look, that's where you died, but I decided to not even help you.
Hugh: Look at that douche right there!
Dylan: Hey Mo, this was the exact part where you were talking about like, channels and stuff.
Mo: Oh boy, it's a skeleton. Yeah, I know you died, I dunno. I don't know if I actually realized you had died down there, or if I just decided not to go anyway.
Hugh: Heh, what, me, when you went down there? Yeah, I think subconsciously you did know, and you were just like, you know what, screw Yoshi. I've got more important things to do.
YOSHITOMARIO WAS SHOT BY A SKELETON!
Mo: Oh boy, hahaha!
Dylan: Like getting shot by a skeleton again.
Hugh: And there I go again! See?
Mo: Heh heh.
Hugh: You guys are saying: "Ah you suck, you suck." No, nonono, fine, I wasn't playing my best... but-
Dylan: You suck.
Mo: You didn't even have any armor, dude.
Hugh: I know, I couldn't-
Mo: This is literally our only-
YOSHITOMARIO WAS SHOT BY A SKELETON!
Mo: Oh there we go again! Hahaha!
Dylan: Again.
Hugh: I hate you guys.
Mo: This was our only mining expedition, and you decided: "Hey I should just not wear any armor, and instead worry about urine!"
Dylan: No, I was worrying about the urine.
Hugh: I was kinda tagging along for that, yeah.
Mo: Oh man. How did this conversation-
YOSHITOMARIO WAS BLOWN UP BY A CREEPER!
Mo: Oh boy, there we go! Haha!
Hugh: Hahaha!
Dylan: Oh, it started with Yoshi talking about fries. And then I told him about like, gutter fries, and how if like one fry dropped in the gutter with a homeless man.
Hugh: Yeah. And then I said that'd be delicious, and then you added in the hobo. And then I said you know I would like to try that.
Dylan: And then I was just like, have you ever eaten some fries and been like, you know what this needs?
Dylan & Hugh: Urine.
Hugh: And then we kinda added urine to pretty much everything.
Dylan: Oh, Mo, don't forget the thumbnail for this chapter: Someone holding a bucket of urine over their head.
Mo: And that was the day urine became a meme for no reason. Alright!
Hugh: Haha, no reason at all. Anyway, here, Mo's conscious was like, you know what, I can't let Yoshi die anymore.
Dylan: And then he drops.
Hugh: And then he just drops, yeah.
Mo: And then you find out that your items are actually blown up by a creeper.
Hugh: I know, that was heartbreaking.
Mo: So there was literally no point to any of this.
Hugh: I just run past you, I'm so excited to get my items back.
Dylan: I like how at that point you're just mining the wall, and then you hit me as I'm falling down.
Mo: Well, that's just, uh, unfortunate. You know, have you ever been like- never mind. Heh heh.
Dylan: Yeah, only I can bring those up.
Mo: Yeah.
Dylan: Oh hey, this was where we make our small little underground base.
Mo: Oh yeah, and this is where-
Hugh: Wow, spoiling it.
Mo: No it's not spoiling, we made you our bitch, we told you: "Hey, you're pretty much useless anyway, so make us a base."
Hugh: I was your bitch, it felt good.
Mo: I dunno what this was, this was weird. Like I don't know if we came from here or what.
Hugh: I didn't even see this.
Mo: Yeah I know, cause I sealed it up, cause I didn't know what it was. So I'm just like, OK see you later.
Hugh: Sealing away all of those possibilities.
Dylan: It just kept diverging as one.
Mo: And then you like closed us off from the base like a dum-dum!
Hugh: Screw you guys, I'm goin' home!
Mo: Oh yeah Dylan, look, we're trying to make conversation with the skelemans. I dunno, these are zombies.
Dylan: Yeah, the Spanish ones.
Mo: They spoke Spanish, but Dylan just killed them all cause he's a dick. You literally told me, we should try to communicate with them. I attempted to so, and then you slaughtered them in my face.
Dylan: I thought it was the right course of action, they were Spanish, what else do you do to Spanish people?
Hugh: Oooooh.
Mo: Oh boy.
Dylan: That was terrible.
Mo: And there go all our Spanish fans! Alright! Hehehe!
Hugh: Alright!
Dylan: Hey Mo, could you cut that out?
Mo: And there go all our Spanish fans! Alright! Just thought I'd uh, repeat that one there.
Dylan: Oh this is good, you should bleep that out. Just like *Censored with dolphin noises*
Mo: Oh God dammit Dylan! Damn it! Dylan, come on.
Dylan: Now you're going to have to go back.
Mo: Hey it's Jerry the slime. Oh wait no, what was his name? Jerry was the chicken. This guy's name was...
Hugh: That's better *Censored with dolphin noises* that out Mo.
Mo: I don't know what the slime's name was.
Dylan: Juan Pablo.
Mo: Juan Pablo? Isn't that the Pope's name? Wasn't that one of the Pope's names?
Dylan: No that was John Paul, not Juan Pablo.
Mo: No in Spanish he's Juan Pablo.
Dylan: Probably, I don't know.
Mo: No he is, I know for sure.
Hugh: When you say that, it makes me think there's Number 2 Pablo, Number 3 Pablo.
Dylan: No.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: See, the thing is, Yoshi talks about this as if he knows what he's talking about but in reality, all he knows is about the Queen.
Hugh: I don't. Yeah.
Dylan: But in reality- oh yeah this was where you turned off PEU you dick.
Mo: Yeah, you're an idiot. Cause literally we're like: "Oh dude, we're in an area that could have diamonds." As soon as Yoshi hears that, he runs downstairs and he goes and gets them! Literally!
Hugh: Hey I have my priorities.
Mo: And then of course we kicked him out of the story because this is just not fair.
Hugh: Nononononono, you guys said, I found diamonds. And then you guys said that you threw them in the lava so I raged.
Dylan: Nonononono, I said that I threw them into the lava.
Mo: I think we need to bring Jay Leno into this to be the tiebreaker. Hey guys, it's me, Jay Leno. I sound particularly like MunchingOrange today. I don't know why. I don't know why I'm filling these holes either, but that's part of my OCD I guess.
Dylan: I think it's because you're both Spanish.
Mo: I have really bad OCD with just breaking random stone.
Dylan: I like hair.
Mo: Hey it's diamonds!
Hugh: Ermahgerd.
Mo: For the record, I was about to kill my diamond there first of all, but this is actually the first time I've ever found diamonds without like the use of cheats.
Dylan: Cheats. Hey you used a divining rod- or no we didn't have it.
Mo: That's not cheating, and no we didn't have it at this point. Yeah, we actually found these, and with the diamond we made the divining rods.
Dylan: Oh yeah.
Mo: But these we actually found which is pretty great.
Dylan: It's better than that time that Yoshi cheated and I had to throw it out the lake.
Hugh: I didn't cheat!
Mo: Which um, FYI, Dylan confessed that never actually happened, and the uh, divining rod has actually been stuck up Yoshi's urethra the whole time.
Dylan: That's where the urine comes from.
Hugh: Hahahaha.
Mo: Hahahaha! That was completely coincidental, I'm not even kidding.
Hugh: Yeah. See, Mo, I've gotta say it here by the way, why didn't you just like replace the lava with water on a block and then get it back?
Mo: You know what Yoshi, some of us just don't have that British mentality, OK? I don't even know what I'm doing here to be honest.
Hugh: I guess, OK. We can't all be amazing. So I do apologize for assuming you could be cool, and amazing, and sexy. Um, and uh...
Mo: And also a boy.
Dylan: All of the things British people can't be.
Mo: Oh boy, I'm on fire and I have a water bucket in my hand, but nope, that's not gonna help. Heh heh heh. Bucket of water? Pfffffft.
Dylan: You just jumped into a pile of redstone. That should take out the fire, and it did.
Hugh: And it actually does, yeah.
Mo: And then I placed the water down of course.
Dylan: That's where I told you how to do that.
Hugh: Anyway, here we're making divining rods, hell yeah.
Mo: So this is actually, yeah. We don't make them yet, but we figure out that we actually need-
Hugh: Do we make them? Oh you're just going through, OK.
Mo: Cause we needed characol and we didn't have it, so we couldn't make it.
Hugh: Oh yeah.
Mo: To make the covalence dust.
Hugh: Basically for those of you that don't know, our end goal is that dark blue one, and you have to go through the other 2 first to get that and that-
Dylan: Shut up, stop being so informative.
Hugh: Hey!
Mo: Yoshi, stop it, because we don't even do that in this chapter, and you would know that if you had read the memo I sent you earlier.
Hugh: I did read the memo.
Dylan: Did you? Did you know that it was soaked in urine?
Hugh: Yes. It did, I smelled it.
Mo: See I am so super smart that I try it out anyway and fail. Heh.
Hugh: And then I dipped my fries in it, and it was interesting.
Mo: Whoa, it's going fast.
Dylan: Super speed.
Mo: Man, have you ever been like, we should go faster.
Dylan: Sonic X.
Mo: And then something about urine. I don't know, I can't do this, I'm not good at them.
Dylan: Yeah I know, I'll teach you when we go to Florida.
Mo: We're not going to- what are you talking about Dylan?
Dylan: Oh, whoops.
Mo: What, are we going to *Censored with dolphin noises* to visit the man? The guy that-
Hugh: Bleep bleep bleep.
Dylan: You're gonna have to bleep more.
Mo: Beep?
Dylan: Bleep.
Mo: Like a car horn? Beep beep.
Hugh: Beeeep.
Mo: Heh heh, like a urine beep beep? I dunno.
Hugh: What the fuck is a urine beep beep?!
Mo: Hee hee hee!
Dylan: Wow, look at that, Yoshi swearing guys.
Hugh: I'm sorry guys.
Mo: Oh boy, look at this.
Hugh: Mo is driving me to this. Like, you just insert the word urine and then some random crap, and you're like, yay urine!
Mo: You know what this chapter was really lacking? The lynching of trees.
Hugh: It was, you're kinda lynching the rubber trees.
Mo: Yeah it's more like milking now.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: You had already lynched all- and look, half of them are like dead cause you suck and let creepers blow up all over our property. You'd be like the worst landlord-
Dylan: Worst real-estate agent.
Mo: Yeah, like Yoshi selling real-estate, and like every house he sold has a crater in the front yard.
Dylan: Oh my God, that should be our new series: Yoshi the Landlord.
Mo: It would be on like TLC and it would be all about Yoshi fixing craters in houses.
Hugh: I can destroy a house before I give you a tour, it would be awesome.
Mo: You know what, this chapter is coming to an end, so we must wrap this up with a song.
Dylan: Hi, I'm Yoshi the real-estate agent, and I'm gonna show you a nice little property in an Alaskan minefield.
Mo: Swagger Jagger! Swagger Jagger!
Hugh: No! Gaaaaaaaah! Why?!
Mo: The end!
Continued in Chapter 13!
________________________________________________
Chapter 13
Tungsten Times
________________________________________________
Current Date: October 15th 2012
Days Stranded: 69
Last time on Tekkit, the story got told from a different perspective, and that's still going on right now!
Mo: Welcome back to the Tekkit show!
Dylan: Shut up.
Mo: Today...
Hugh: Hi I'm Ellen Page.
Dylan: Shut up!
Hugh: Hehe! Anyway, I'm YoshitoMario, he's Dylan. I'll do his intro for him, for the lulz.
Mo: You didn't even let me finish. People know who you are! It's not like they've been reading for 12 chapters now!
Dylan: Why are you YoshitoMario and I'm just Dylan?
Hugh: Cause I have class.
Dylan: Yeah OK.
Mo: You mean you have shameless self-promotion?
Dylan: So Mo, what are you doing with me?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Oh, I'm creating rubber into wood, I guess.
Hugh: Whoa. That's revolutionary!
Dylan: Are you trying to make characol?
Mo: We are trying to make characol because we need it for I don't even- what are we-
Hugh: Covalence dust.
Dylan: Divining rod.
Mo: Oh yeah.
Hugh: So basically the goal that we're doing right now in this chapter- cause you know these are highlights. We did um, we made some cova-
Dylan: He talks too much.
Mo: No he doesn't- bring Ellen Page back!
Hugh: Yeah, what the hell?
Mo: Dylan!
Hugh: We made divining rods which basically tell you where diamonds are. So the stuff you're seeing now is how to make them, you've got like 3 stages. You've got green, light blue, and uh, dark blue, and you need each stage to get to the next one but that's what we're making now.
Mo: Hey you're skipping ahead of things. Look I made the green one and I was excited, cause it's your color, cause you're green.
Hugh: Oh my God.
Dylan: Where the hell was I? You guys were just down here, what was I doing?
Mo: You know where you were? You were probably drinking some urine. Heh heh heh!
Dylan: No, we don't drink urine.
Mo: Oh.
Hugh: We just use it for other purposes, right?
Dylan: Yeah we just combine it with like certain things.
Mo: So here's the blue covalence dust.
Hugh: Anyway, that's how you get the light blue. I don't know why you made that much, but whatever, that's fine.
Mo: You know what? Maybe sometimes you're like, I need some more covalence dust.
Dylan: It's hard to get a job.
Hugh: Yeah maybe, it can actually be used to repair steel and gold tools.
Mo: And we also um, we make the dark blue one.
Hugh: And that's how you get the dark blue, and then you surround the light blue divining rod with the dark blue, and you get the dark blue and that's the best one you can get.
Dylan: Can I erase him again?
Hugh: No.
Mo: And the reason we're even- wait why are we? Yeah, OK, so that's the reason why last chapter we were getting diamonds.
Hugh: Indeed.
Mo: Uh, it's because that's how you get the dark blue divining rod.
Hugh: We should probably explain about the numbers though, right?
Mo: I guess in a little bit, cause you're just kinda jumping around like an idiot right now. Hey look it's Dylan, he's not even moving.
Dylan: Hey.
Hugh: It looks like I've got a welding mask on the front of my face.
Mo: I dunno, you're Ellen Page, you can do whatever you want.
Hugh: Thank you.
Dylan: Ellen Page does what she want, girlfriend.
Hugh: Gurl, I do what I want!
Mo: Oh hey look, magic editing! Editing has allowed me to get 2 more divining rods, one for each of us cause we're the 3 Muskamen. Here Dylan, you can have one. Don't run away! I'm trying to give you it.
Dylan: I'm sorry, I have legs of my own since this is in the past.
Mo: Ah, I see that you cannot actually control your character, as this is still a montage and we're post-recording it.
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: Wait, I'm not controlling my character? What?
Mo: Yeah, yeah- oh it's Dylan again!
Hugh: What the hell are you doing? Whoa.
Mo: He's beautiful, he's got...
Hugh: Uhhhh...
Dylan: Why did you do this? I don't even remember.
Mo: I just went through you, and now I'm inside you.
Hugh: Oh God.
Dylan: Into the brain of I.
Mo: You don't like it Dylan? Why don't you like it? Alright, so I think now we're gonna explain more about the numbers. Actually we're just gonna go to a cave cause that's how we do. Here we are.
Hugh: Basically, I'll explain about the numbers now anyway.
Mo: Yup, so what do these numbers mean?
Hugh: Basically as you can see there, you're seeing 8192 and that means diamonds. When you click on that, you see that, and we're doing some fast-forward awesomeness here. When you see that, you just wanna dig in that direction you clicked, and eventually you'll come across diamonds as I'm hoping Mo will find.
Mo: Nope, cause we gotta save Dylan from dying.
Hugh: We did have to save Dylan from dying again.
Dylan: Oh yeah that's right, I remember this, that was good.
Mo: You were about to die. But like, basically, you just click walls from my understanding, and if you get an 8 1 9 2, you just dig straight forward, which is pretty much what I did here.
Hugh: That's the first step for diamonds, so just look for that.
Mo: Cough...
Hugh: And we also had this kind of like, tungsten fail which I'm-
Dylan: Shut up! Why are you spoiling it?
Mo: Hey why are you- spoilers, that's not what this chapter is called, what are you talking about?
Dylan: Don't forget to bleep that out.
Hugh: Yeah. So much bleeping.
Mo: No there's no more dolphin sounds, no more dolphin sounds will be allowed in this book.
Dylan: Oh wow, you burnt that white piece of dust.
Mo: Hey, you know what, that's gravel OK? And I was very excited to cover it up and then fall in lava. Keep in mind there's water right in front of me, do you see that?
Hugh: Love that.
Mo: There's water right there.
Hugh: What are you doing, Mo?
Mo: I don't know, hahahaha, there's water.
Dylan: We told you to immediately go in the water anyways.
Hugh: Mo, you're really intelligent at that.
Mo: Hahaha!
MUNCHINGORANGE BURNED TO DEATH!
Hugh: There's even a massive bit of water there, just saying.
Dylan: Hey you're back.
Mo: Hey, I came back to life. But you know what? I got a diamond pick, and so, because you guys are dumb and none of you guys got any diamond picks, I got one, and now I'm mining obsidian. Because...
Hugh: Yeah, but without my advice, you wouldn't have gotten it in the first place.
Mo: Well you know what? Shut up.
Hugh: What? No.
Mo: So basically, divining rods allow you to get a very large amount of diamonds with uh, little to no effort, and that is what I understand.
Hugh: Pretty much, and once you've got more diamonds, you can get more and more.
Dylan: Is there a different Nether?
Mo: Uh, I don't think so.
Hugh: Uh, there's not a different Nether, but there's different like, ores in the Nether. Like, you've got Nether coal, Nether iron, Nether tin.
Mo: Really?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: I think we need to do some Nether exploration in the upcoming chapters.
Dylan: Look at me- look how nice I am, I gave you a little chest filled with your items.
Mo: Well you know what, Dylan? I don't even... I don't even care about you. You do this all for me, and I don't even...
Dylan: So you're admitting how selfish and completely inconsiderate you are?
Mo: No, I was about to finish my sentence by saying that I don't even know how it is that I love you so much.
Hugh: Awww...
Dylan: That's... OK. That's very good. Stop.
Mo: You know what? You tell me to stop though.
Dylan: Mo, it's things like this that make people think that you're gay.
Mo: Dylan, I am not gay, as I've proven by the fact that I made a video about not being gay on the Mo Show.
Hugh: Plus we just saw a video of you smacking women up, which is always good.
Mo: Alright, hey it's oil.
Dylan: And plus the fact that you're trying to get Ellen Page to date you.
Hugh: Yeah, I'm not gonna do it Mo! Stop it!
Mo: Dude, Ellen Page is like the best, OK? Ellen Page, if you are reading this fan fiction...
Hugh: Which I am.
Mo: I would just like you to know that you are a beautiful and delicate flower, and I would love to do things to you. Inappropriately.
Hugh: No, that's not happening.
Mo: In the shower.
Hugh: OK, maybe.
Mo: Alright, so here we come up on the first bit of diamond, because we're awesome at this.
Hugh: Yeah we are.
Mo: It's gonna be the hit-new televsision show on the History Channel. First they had The Greatest Catch, and then they had The Hillbilly Cubs, I don't know what it's called, the one about-
Dylan: Olton Hillbillies.
Mo: That one. No wait, is that it?
Dylan: No.
Mo: I don't know what that is. And now we have the greatest show: The Diamond Catchers. That doesn't really work, hm...
Dylan: Yeah, it doesn't.
Hugh: It can work.
Dylan: It should be: The Diamond Captivators.
Mo: So basically, I'm trying to-
Dylan: Ooh! The Diamond Dicks!
Mo: Uh, that's not cool.
Hugh: I think we should call it: Gimme Yo Diamonds Bitch.
Mo: I'm trying to find diamonds here. And uh, overall, this is pretty much what the main part of the recording session was, which was just digging straight forward.
Dylan: This was a successful recording.
Hugh: It is.
Mo: No, see this is why I montaged it, because it was pretty much digging straight forward. You know what-
Dylan: So you deleted your audio on purpose?
Mo: Hilarity ensued while we dug straight forward, and so I am overall sad that this happened. OK?
Dylan: Yeah, yeah.
Hugh: But, it worked out in its own little way.
Dylan: No it didn't, shut up Yoshi.
Mo: It did. No, it did, it did, Dylan.
Hugh: It did, Dylan.
Mo: You're a butthole, and that is all I will say.
Dylan: Don't say that.
Hugh: Don't deny what you can't testify girl!
YOSHITOMARIO WAS BLOWN UP BY A CREEPER!
Mo: Hey, Hugh died.
Dylan: Hey look, Hugh died again.
Hugh: Oh God dammit.
Mo: Heh heh, that's not a surprise.
Hugh: How many times did I die? I don't even remember them.
Mo: More diamonds, hooray.
Dylan: Yeah you're right, you probably wouldn't remember them when you died so many times, it just ended being constant.
Mo: It is. It has become a thing that uh, has been- oh there it is. There's the famous number there. See that number there?
Dylan: Oh yeah, that's right, cause that's like twice the amount of diamonds. So we're like, what's that?
Hugh: I love how at this point you were just freaking out like: "Whoa! Whoa! What is that?!"
Mo: No it's not, wait, how much is diamonds? Isn't it 91?
Dylan: 8192. That's 16.
Mo: Diamond's like 91 something. Double 90-
Dylan: 8190.
Mo: No, 9000 times 2 is 18000 you dunk.
Dylan: No, it says 8192.
Mo: Oh, I thought it was 9000. You know- shut up! I'm not a math man like you, I'm a man of science.
Dylan: Yeah, OK.
Mo: Anyway, this is when the hunt begins. As you will see, I uh... I'm just in search of this mysterious 16000 number because it's obviously a higher number.
Hugh: So it was also at this point he was kind of freaking out. Like: "Oh my God!"
Mo: No I wasn't, that doesn't happen yet.
Hugh: You said that overtime, yeah you were.
Mo: Alright, here's the first encounter of it. See, it just looks like coal! Look at it! How am I supposed to know it's different? OK, it's called tungsten, but it looks like coal! See?
Hugh: It's misleading.
Mo: It says: Suggestive value is 131. So I thought that was the value of it, cause Yoshi told me that the first number will be what you're clicking, where it says a value around. Yoshi told me that's the value of the item that you clicked, and that is how I learned how to use the divining rod.
Dylan: You didn't even notice that the EMC said 16000, so you still didn't believe me when I told you multiple times.
Mo: Dude, I don't even know what EMC is, OK?
Dylan: I had to send you a picture on your phone.
Mo: I didn't even look at it, cause I was downstairs getting a sip of milk, or something else. Which uh, may be up-and-coming, I dunno. Maybe it will happen later in the video. Maybe it won't happen, who knows. Either way-
Hugh: Mo, aren't you getting me a sandwich?
Mo: What?
Hugh: Of urine.
Mo: Uh, what?
Hugh: Perhaps. I think you were getting me a urine sandwich.
Dylan: You ever been like, getting Yoshi some urine? And you're like, you know what this needs?
Hugh: More urine.
Dylan: Urine.
Hugh: Nice.
Mo: Um, ladies, I believe this joke has been a little overused, and you should stop doing so. Hey more diamonds, isn't that great?
Dylan: Yeah, but you still keep looking for the damn tungsten.
Mo: Because there's more of it! There's 16000, I'm like, dude, like that couldn't have been it because... dude, it said 131. So I was convinced that wasn't it, because it literally looks like coal, how am I supposed to not- see? Here it is again, but you know what? It still looks like coal, so I just walked past it.
Hugh: Ugh...
Dylan: Oh that one's actually coal.
Mo: No it isn't.
Dylan: Are you sure?
Mo I'm sure, we come back to it in a bit. Hey look it's Dylan, he found me somehow you freaking stalker.
Dylan: Hey, shut up.
Mo: Ah, so here the trail gets cold.
Hugh: Yeah, meanwhile I'm just lost.
Mo: I don't even know what Yoshi's doing.
Dylan: Yoshi's not even an intrical part of this chapter. That's actually coal.
Mo: See, that's why we brought Ellen Page along.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: So here I go trying out one block at a time trying to find what the 16000 is.
Hugh: Oh my God...
Mo: And you know what, Dylan? At this point-
YOSHITOMARIO SUFFOCATED IN A WALL!
Dylan: Oh and Yoshi suffocated in a wall.
Mo: Oh Yoshi suffocated in a wall!
Hugh: Hehehe!
Mo: The greatest of ways to die.
Hugh: Oh no, that was tactical! That was tactical, cause I was heading back up. I saw the light and then sand fell on me, so I let myself do it cause it was right outside our house, and I walked back and got all of my items. So ha!
Mo: You know Dylan, at this point you didn't even believe me, not that you didn't believe me, but you were also thinking that it couldn't be the tungsten. Because-
Dylan: No I didn't, I never said that. I never went there.
Mo: Yeah, no, yeah yeah you did. You're like: "Oh well maybe uhh..."
Dylan: Nononono. No, Mo, what happened was you kept telling me that it's still there, like, I thought it was one trail. I didn't that you had already picked up tungsten or whatever. And I didn't know what it was.
Mo: Well I didn't know that either. Oh look, in slow motion. And there it is. Hehehe.
Dylan: So then I finally told you that the EMC was like 16000, but I never-
Mo: Literally at this point you're telling me like, put your cursor over it. This is when I- see cause I'm clicking it and it still says 118. I don't even... you know what, this was a confusing time, and I don't want to remember this. See? There's still a trail of it!
Hugh: I had fun listening to it, it was enjoyable.
Dylan: Yeah, cause you kept dying.
Mo: Yoshi thought it was a glitch, cause he's an idiot.
Hugh: I did think it was a glitch.
Dylan: Yoshi just assumes things are glitches.
Mo: Hehehaha!
Hugh: Life is a glitch!
Mo: See I'm trying to- it's literally right there and I'm just trying to find it elsewhere.
Hugh: Heh heh.
Mo: I did not want to believe it was that, I literally- I was convinced it was something else. I'm sorry.
Hugh: You wanted it to be like a super secret thing?
Mo: Yes, because tungsten-
Dylan: There you go, you finally look at it. Tungsten, 16000.
Mo: OK Dylan, fine, maybe it's this, maybe it's tungsten. But you know what? Tungsten is a dick! OK?
Hugh: Why did you zoom in on it? What's that gonna do?
Mo: Because I'm angry! This was an angry moment for me, and so this happened.
Hugh: I'm kinda worried for you.
Dylan: Yeah, not really. I'm hungry, ugh, I need to go eat.
Mo closed his laptop and went downstairs, he came back up with an egg.
Mo: Can you read this?
Mo wrote the word TUNGSTEN on it.
Hugh: It says Tungsten.
Dylan: Tungsten. Ah, I see what you're doing.
Hugh: Heh heh heh. Hahahahaha!
Mo threw the egg on the floor and started stomping on the mess!
Hugh: Hahahahaha! Hahahaha!
Dylan: *Clap clap clap clap clap*
Hugh: Hahaha! Have fun playing with that!
Dylan: You wasted food you son of a bitch, I could have made a wonderful omelette with that.
Hugh: Heh heh heh! Hold on, let me take a picture of that.
Hugh took a picture of Mo licking the yolk off the floor.
Mo: Thank you guys for reading.
Dylan: Bye.
Hugh: Bye guys.
Mo: Bye. Tekkit. God this is so disgusting!
Hugh: Woooo!
Continued in Chapter 14!
________________________________________________
Chapter 14
Energy Condenser
________________________________________________
Current Date: October 19th 2012
Days Stranded: 73
Last time on Tekkit, Mo got mad at tungsten, and he smashed an egg. Now we rejoin our heroes back at their house! (And now they're not doing post commentary like the previous 2 chapters!)
Mo: The great outdoors, where men strive to become the best of the very best.
Dylan: I need my wheat.
Mo: We, as men, must travel across the land searching far and wide, to become the very best like no one ever was. And so, we come to the point where men are men, and women-
Hugh: Hello!
Mo: ...Dylan?
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Did you let a woman in our house?
Dylan: I'm not even anywhere near there after I heard that thing come from the house.
Hugh: Hehehe!
Mo: Did you let a woman in our house?
Dylan: No.
Mo: There's a lady standing at our front door. I'm gonna try poking her with my stick.
Hugh: Hey! Hey Dylan.
Mo: I'm poking her, it seems that she has a value of around 2.0.
Dylan: Heh heh.
Hugh: No I have a value of 69!
Dylan: No.
Mo: You literally have a value of 2. Hahaha.
Hugh: Wow.
Dylan: Why did you make a sapphire ho? That's so like, useless.
Hugh: I'm not just a whore, I'm a cheap whore.
Mo: Oh God, OK well I have way too much stuff in my inventory.
Hugh: Hey, hey Mo.
Mo: So welcome back to Tekkit, this is chapter I-don't-even-know. What?
Hugh: Do you know how to attract me? It's simple, you just gotta beatbox.
Mo: Um, alright, let me give it a try. *starts beatboxing*
Hugh: Whoooa! Whoa what's that noise! Oh my God! Hooo! Hooo!
Mo: Please stop.
Dylan: I don't want to be on the fan fiction anymore.
Hugh: Hahaha!
Mo: See you later, Dylan!
Dylan: Bye.
Hugh: Love you~
Mo: Hey we have 5 obsidian, how much do we need for that one we're trying to make?
Hugh: So today, we're going to be making an energy condenser. How much tungsten did you get?
Mo: Uh, 13 tungsten. in the greatest adventure that we have ever come across, of course.
Hugh: I got 16 diamonds for us.
Mo: The tungsten adventure, uh, that was a great chapter. Heh heh heh.
Hugh: Good times. Should we go make that? Do you want to pick anything up?
Mo: Um, I'm just gonna drop off stuff in my chest. I don't even know where anything goes anymore, I don't care. Actually, we could go pick up more obsidian, considering we could make a Nether portal.
Hugh: Oh that's true. I'll tell you what, make this first, cause then we got the diamonds, place it down, and then we can go down and get obsidian.
Dylan: Man, I'm the only person working, you guys are like blathering over here.
Mo: What do you mean? What are you even doing right now?
Dylan: I have been farming, I have gotten a bunch of wheat.
Mo: Hey! It's a dog!
Hugh: What the hell? Where did that come from?
Mo: I don't know, there's a random dog!
Hugh: Yo wassup dog!
Mo: Hey Yoshi, you wanna help me with lynching some trees?
Hugh: Yes!
Mo: Pick up that thing, there we go.
Hugh: Wooooo!
Mo: Where did this dog come from? Why is it here?
Hugh: Actually guys, let's all sleep first.
Mo: You dog is estimated at a value of around 66. About um...
Dylan: How can you put a value on a dog?
Hugh: Wait wait wait.
Mo: So the dog is 33 times better than you.
Hugh: Wooow. Woooow.
Mo: And this chicken, appropriately not named Jerry, is valued around 20, 10 times better than you.
Hugh: God dammit.
Mo: Hehehe.
Dylan: Yoshi, you are the worst of people, so don't ever forget that.
Hugh: I can't even deny it, the fact is right there!
Mo: Alright Dylan, let's have a rest. Come on, come to bed, my dear.
Dylan: Give me a second, I need to- oh that's right we probably shouldn't die.
Mo: We're also not gay. Just come on, come to bed, honey. Do I really have to sleep here?
Dylan: Yup.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: I'm taking this with me.
Hugh: Wow.
Mo: I'm gonna sleep over here.
Dylan: Yoshi's all alone. Why do we not have a roof yet?
Mo: Doesn't matter, we'll build it later.
Dylan: Well go to bed already.
Mo: I am in bed!
The 3 of them got tucked in and went to bed. The next day...
Hugh: OK, let's make an energy condenser, fools!
Mo: Go, go down, go go.
Hugh: I'm going down.
Mo: Alright, let's go.
Hugh: OK, are you ready to do this?
Mo: We are ready to make em, I'll pick up the tools that we need. So, obsidian and diamonds I heard.
Hugh: You need obsidian and diamond, one of each covalence dust color.
Mo: Ha! See, so it wasn't useless that I made them! You duck.
Hugh: No, it's true, it's true.
Mo: And you said it was useless. Alright, so Yoshi, 2 parts. What's the part 1?
Hugh: OK, so, here we go! So, you ready?
Mo: So, I'm ready. I'm ready.
Hugh: Top left is green covalence dust.
Mo: Yes.
Hugh: Top middle is light blue covalence dust, and top right is dark.
Mo: Oh my God, we are learning all sorts of things about the rainbow.
Hugh: OK, and middle left and middle right, you have got smooth stone.
Mo: Gasp!
Hugh: For the middle, you've got a diamond.
Dylan: Hey Mo you're on fire.
Mo: Middle is what?
Hugh: A diamond.
Mo: Yes, there is a diamond in the middle.
Hugh: And then, bottom left and bottom right are iron ingots.
Mo: Oh my gushness, I'm getting excited.
Hugh: And the bottom mid, is a chest.
Mo: God dammit! You didn't tell me I needed a chest!
Hugh: I can make one for you! Stay in your inventory!
Mo: OK, throw one. This is too difficult! Look at this, this looks like the oddest thing ever.
Hugh: Alright, I'm throwing it to you.
Mo: There's like 3 different colored crack.
Hugh: You got it?
Mo: And- oh my God it's an alchemical chest!
Hugh: Alright, that's the first part, that is what we need. Now, are you ready for the second part?
Dylan: You were on fire, Mo.
Mo: How am I on fire?
Dylan: You were.
Dylan placed torches around Mo.
Mo: Oh, well watch this, Dylan. Boom! No longer on fire! Get out of the way.
Dylan: OK I'm moving.
Mo: There it is, guys. Oh my God.
Hugh: No wait! Don't place it down!
Mo: It's like of the devil or something. Oh can we not pick it back up? We can pick it back up. Alright, what do we do with this?
Hugh: OK.
Mo: We surround it in obsidian I bet.
Hugh: Alright, so, bottom left and bottom right are obsidian.
Mo: Yes.
Hugh: OK, so all 4 corners are obsidian, basically.
Mo: Uh-huh.
Hugh: And you've got the alchemical chest in the middle, and then the empty spots are diamonds. And that is our energy condenser.
Mo: 4 diamonds? Oh my goshness! It's got an EMC of 42000! That's like 4 times the tungsten!
Hugh: Place it down, place it down.
Mo: No, we need like a special place for this.
Hugh: We do.
Mo: Like back here or something.
Hugh: Yes! Yes, that is sexy!
Mo started building an alter for the energy condenser.
Mo: Alright, we need like a special- we need to build a special- also we should finish up building our house. Since it's gonna take a while, we should probably not go on a Nether experience, and instead focus on finishing our roof of our second floor.
Hugh: Place it in the middle here. Oh, OK, yeah.
Mo: Alright, cause we can like turn this into an area where we also have like, an enchantment table or something.
Hugh: Place it in there bro, place it in there.
Mo: I'm placing it in the middle.
Hugh: Oh well, fine.
Mo: I'm making the walls cool. I like to make everything pretty, Yoshi. I don't know if you've noticed.
Dylan: But Yoshi is the prettiest of people, so I guess he wouldn't really understand that.
Hugh: I have trouble understanding these things. Dylan gets it.
Mo: Dylan is a woman, this is why he understands these things.
Dylan: When did I become this? What the hell?
Mo: Hey, ever since we've learned of your passion for cooking, you have become a woman.
Dylan: Shut up, I like cooking, that doesn't mean I'm a woman.
Mo: Yes you is.
Dylan: No.
Mo: I speak English well. Or sorry, I speak English good. Aaaaah! There it is, YoshitoMario.
Hugh: Aw hell yeah. Now, are you ready for this?
Mo: Yes. Wait, it's a chest? I thought it was like a...
Hugh: No, it's a chest. In the scope at the top left-
Mo: Oh my God, what is that?
Hugh: In the scope on the top left is where you put a diamond, and that's where you're gonna make loads of, OK?
Mo: OK so I put 1 diamond in there right? Check that out, check if it's right.
Hugh: Now put all of the tungsten- yes.
Dylan: Have you ever eaten like, a whale's tongue?
Hugh: Now put all of the tungsten into the empty spaces, and it will transfer those into diamonds.
Dylan: I don't know what it would taste like, but I think it would have some weird texture.
Mo: Should I just put- oh my goodness! What is- this is amazing! What? We've got 30 diamonds out of that!
Hugh: 31 because you've still got the old one as well. But leave that in there, cause we've got some other things we may not need.
Mo: Oh. Wait, what? I've got 48 diamonds now!
Hugh: So hold on, is there anything in here we don't really need? We might not need some nikolytes, let's put a bunch of that in there and see how much we get.
Mo: I don't think we need gold, gold isn't really good. Is gold useful for anything?
Hugh: Dude, open up the chest right now and see what it looks like. It looks so boss.
Mo: What does?
Hugh: Open up the energy condenser and look what happens.
Dylan: What kind of seasoning do you think would be on a whale's tongue?
Mo: Oh my God, how did you even do this?
Hugh: It's awesome!
Dylan: I'd assume some like paisley or something.
Mo: Wait, what is the thing that's like filling up at the top?
Hugh: Uh, that's how much EMC we've got. So we're halfway to another diamond.
Mo: Ah, that's freaking awesome, OK.
Hugh: So it's kind of like building up.
Dylan: Ah I could use like a brown sugary glaze of some sort.
Mo: It's like conversion of energy. Dude, like, Nikola Tesla would be so proud- wait he's not the energy guy, he's like the Tesla Coil guy.
Hugh: Basically just make sure you don't use up every single piece of every item you put in there. Make sure there's one of everything left in a chest so we can create them again through the energy condenser if we need to.
Mo: Ah, yes.
Hugh: Apart from tungsten cause there's no use for that, so just spend all of that.
Mo: There's no use for gold either, it sucks and there's- who shot me? How did I get hurt?
Dylan: I'm pretty sure it wasn't me.
Mo: Does the energy condenser like, hurt you somehow? Or am I just making something up?
Hugh: Uh, no. I'm gonna put 52 lapis in the condenser, and let's see how much we got. We got 5 more, I've got 22 diamonds.
Mo: Oh my gosh, we should just make sets of diamond armor now. The energy condenser is OP!
Hugh: It is.
Dylan: Over-powered.
Mo: Dunder kill!
Hugh: So that's how the energy condenser works.
Mo: How about all of this stone that we have? Could we put all of that in there?
Hugh: Yeah, but it's not worth much.
Mo: How much?
Hugh: See, EMC is worth 1.
Mo: Does it take a while to convert into better stuff?
Hugh: Yeah. Yeah, it isn't really worth it.
Mo: Oh. Alright, that doesn't matter, we'll use it up anyway. We've got a lot of copper.
Hugh: What are we gonna be building?
Mo: Are we? We're gonna build a lot of things out of stone, cause stone kind of sucks as a building material.
Dylan: I don't know what the hell you're talking about dude.
Hugh: Might need to smelt it.
Mo: Shut up, I'm smelting some stone cause I wanna make like, the bricks you see in like, the things.
Dylan: Oh God, I'm almost out of hunger.
Mo: Oh my God. Dude, look at the energy condenser! That is so cool, it just burns through them.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Cobblestone sucks as far as energy- oh cause it's got an EMC of 1.
Hugh: I know.
Mo: So you literally need 1 stack of 64. Wait, oh my God, so you need 8000 stone- cobblestone to make 1 diamond.
Dylan: Have you ever been trapped in like, the Bahamas, and you one time just- oh my this looks cool. I love this, I enjoy this.
Mo: Yeah.
Hugh: I've got a whole stack of 64 diamonds in there, people.
Mo: Oh yeah guys, we've done it.
Dylan: You know, this isn't as impressive as it would be in like, a regular thing, but I guess you guys can have your own fame and fortitude. I need food, where's the food, there's food, I found food.
Mo: Hey you know what Dylan? You're a duck, and uh, ducks aren't appreciated on the fan fiction.
Hugh: That's true.
Dylan: Yeah cause you killed a chicken, I guess a duck would be a step down.
Mo: Also we should probably work on fixing up the second floor considering it doesn't have a roof.
Hugh: That's true.
Dylan: Are you sure it doesn't have a roof?
Mo: Did Dylan work on making a roof? Should we go check out Dylan's progress in doing things?
Dylan: I don't know, I don't know if we're ready.
Mo: Cause I think Dylan kinda sucks at this- gasp! This roof sucks. Hooray.
Hugh: Hahaha.
Dylan: What are you talking about?
Hugh: I wanna see this.
Dylan: Go upstairs.
Hugh: Nah, it's a pretty cool roof. Oh there's another floor.
Mo: There's an attic? There's an attic.
Dylan: There's an attic.
Dylan had made a wood ceiling for the second floor. And he built an attic made out of wood on the floor, walls, and ceiling.
Hugh: Damn, Dylan, you did your work, man.
Mo: Oh my God, Dylan. I would like to commemerate this by making a window.
Hugh: Yeah, that's gonna be so many monsters spawning up in here.
Mo: Alright, so we should work on getting more glass then. So we can make some windows.
Hugh: Yeah, we should.
Mo: Damn, girls, this house is gonna look pretty as nice. I don't know what that is.
Hugh: I have no idea what that is either. That's a good start.
Mo: It's gonna look pretty as nice. Alright, so are we smelting some stone? Yup. I'll pretty up the bottom floor, and if you guys wanna work on making some windows, that would be nice. Whoooa, we got 9 more diamonds, guys. 10 actually.
Hugh: Nice.
Mo: And now we have a total of 64 + 17.
Hugh: See? I done told ya this was a good investment.
Mo: Yeah, this is cool.
Hugh: Oh look, Mo, do you wanna see something really cool? So look, say we want some glass. Come to the condenser my friend.
Mo: Ah yes, I know, we can put a piece of glass.
Hugh: We put a piece of glass up there- WHOA!!
Mo: What the shit?!
Hugh accidently created over 5000 pieces of glass!
Hugh: Oh yeah! We had leftover EMC! Holy shit! Haha!
Mo: Yoshi why?! Oh my God, Dylan come look at this!
Hugh: Hahahahaha!
Mo: Don't even take anything out of there! Dylan, just look in there!
Hugh: Hehe!
Mo: Hahaha!
Dylan: ...So it doesn't look we'll be needing anymore glass for a while.
Hugh: Hahaha!
Mo: Hehehee!
Hugh: Do you think we're OK for a bit guys? I'm not sure.
Mo: Yoshi, do you think we need some bigger chests? Is there anyway we can make giant chests?
Hugh: Look it's fine, we can convert it back, we can convert it back.
Mo: We can?
Hugh: Um, hold on, wait. Do not move, do not touch anything.
Mo: Oh my God, can we please fix this?
Hugh: Yeah, we can fix this easy.
Mo: This is scary, I don't want all of this glass. Oh jeez, it's gonna do it one at a time isn't it?
Hugh: Yeah it is.
Mo: Alright, oh well.
Hugh: So let's take one stack of 64 from that then. There we go, and that's how you make some glass everyone!
Mo: Woooo! I don't know how that worked, but that was pretty cool.
Hugh: Now we can go back to making diamonds which is cool.
Mo: How did we have so much EMC left over?
Hugh: Uh, Dylan.
Dylan: Yo.
Hugh: Let me give you the glass.
Dylan: I already have 4 stacks.
Hugh: Oh.
Mo: How did we have so much glass left over? Or uh, EMC.
Hugh: I have no idea. It's because, say you use up all of your items, but it doesn't quite make a diamond, the uh, the rest will still be EMC until you spend it on something else. So we were close to getting another diamond, like 7000, and one piece of glass is 1.
Dylan: Someone knocked on the door.
Mo: Uh-oh, uh-oh. Zombies! There's zombies!
Hugh: Yeah, I'm on it. Oh well no, you got it.
Mo: BWAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHA! Die in the oil of hell!
Hugh: It's OK though, we're converting this glass.
Continued in Chapter 15!
________________________________________________
Chapter 15
House Expanding
________________________________________________
Current Date: October 22nd 2012
Days Stranded: 76
Last time on Tekkit, our handsome boys made an energy condenser and used it to its fullest potential! And Dylan hardly said anything.
Mo: Oh God, why is there- why am I being hurt randomly sometimes?
Dylan: Probably cause you're hungry.
Mo: I'm not hungry, I'm looking at my hunger bar right- I'm being shot by a skellingman!
Dylan: Mo, I don't really trust your like, ability and observation seeing as like one time you were on fire and you had a bucket of water in your hand.
Mo: Dylan!
Dylan: One time you were on fire and there was water right beside you.
Mo: Dylan shut up! That didn't happen.
Dylan: Yeah, I told you.
Mo: The readers don't know about this. Hey there's a seagull like going MMRAAAAH. Alright, I'm gonna, our uh-
Hugh: Like going AAAAH.
Mo: Dude, our circle jerk is starting to look quite wonderful. I'm starting to like it.
Dylan: I told you.
Mo: Dude it's this freaking wolf that's hitting me! What the hell?! Stupid freaking wolf!
Dylan: Did you kill it?
Mo: Yes!
Dylan: Wow... you've changed, Mo.
Hugh: You have. That was my wolf.
Mo: Mo you've changed, you used to give links to emulators and ROMS. And now you don't.
Dylan: Heh heh.
Hugh: Heh heh!
Mo: Someone literally commented that, and I just stood there and stared at the comment and I was like, OK!
Dylan: Why would you like stand there when you have a nice little chair?
Mo: I don't know dude, it's like: You know what, there's a few things that have changed in your videos, but the most notable is the fact that you stopped giving us illegal downloads.
Dylan: Heh.
Hugh: How could you. Bastards...
Dylan: I would like to take this moment to commemerate Mo for his uh, terrible deeds. Everyone please... *blah blah blah...* and uh, subscribe.
Hugh: Or not.
Dylan: I don't know where that went, that was supposed to be like something.
Mo: Don't hate, appreciate.
Dylan: I'm so glad that we have so much glass, do you understand? Oh my goodness, we should make a greenhouse!
Hugh: We should, that would be awesome.
Mo: Dude we can, we can encase the really crappy farm Yoshi made with like, in glass.
Hugh: Yeah that would be fun.
Mo: Dylan, why don't you work on that, I'm gonna work on making this place down here still pretty which I'm already doing.
Dylan: Alright.
Mo: We should also make a pathway to the greenhouse.
Hugh: Mo look behind you, it's back.
Mo: What is? Oh, it's the wolf, this one's not attacking me though.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: Can we all go to bed so we can work on stuff?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Alright, in a little bit. In a little bit, I will finish up doing this. Hold on, give me a break. Sponsored by Kit-Kat everyone! Netflix.com/Kit-Kat. This was paid by Peeta, Peeta Mellark from the Hunger Games.
Dylan: From the wonderful video-gaming. I love this thing, so I don't have to like, make anything else. Like we can just turn, what's the EMC on this? EMC is 1, OK I'm gonna make a bunch of stone bricks.
Mo: Really? Oh God why did I do that? Dude, that thing is so over-powered.
Dylan: Oh shoot, never mind, I turned the stone bricks into nothingness. My bad.
Hugh: Wait, what?
Mo: No you put the stone brick in the top thing.
Hugh: What did you do?
Dylan: Um, I might have put 12 stone bricks in there.
Mo: Aw you freaking dick! You're a duck, Dylan! Are there anymore stone bricks? There's stone brick stairs. OK, well I need one more of these, so... OK, I think this is how we do it. So we put- oh God, how much- yeah this is gonna make 5000 stone stairs.
Hugh: Oh God...
Mo: I don't want 5-
Hugh: No wait it's okay, it's okay.
Mo: How do we do it? How do I like-
Hugh: Wait, don't place anything in there. Don't place anything in there.
Mo: OK, I'll give you this stair, and you try to make me a stack of 64, Yoshi. I don't know how, just work your magic in that.
Hugh: OK, I can do it.
Mo: Dylan no! Don't do it! Don't do it.
Dylan: There you go.
Dylan created over 5000 stone stairs!
Mo: NO!!! GOD DAMMIT!
Hugh: DYLAN!!! I was so close!
Mo: No! Now we're making a bunch of iron ingots!
Dylan: There you go.
Mo: Aw you duck! Dude why are you making everything into iron ingots now? God stop putting iron ingots in there!
Dylan: It's not me!
Mo: Yoshi, what are you doing? Are you trying to convert the stone bricks into iron ingots?
Hugh: Ugh...
Mo: Alright whatever, let's convert the stone bricks into iron ingots. Oh well.
Dylan: Why do you keep doing that?
Mo: I don't know.
Dylan: Reverse it.
Hugh: OK, now we just need to put a diamond in there and work its magic again.
Dylan: Hm-mmm.
Hugh: Sigh...
Dylan: No we should put tungsten in there. You know cause it's 16000, Mo? 16000, Mo. The side of the house is like a Castle Crasher.
Mo: So I have a stone brick, alright?
Hugh: OK.
Mo: How do I go about turning this? OK, so if I take this diamond away and then put a stone brick here... OH GOD!
Mo accidently created more stone bricks than he asked for.
Hugh: Aw for God's sake...
Mo: Damn it! Why does this keep happening?
Hugh: It's because we're charging up EMC, like, it's being stored in the chest.
Mo: Dude, this is hard! I don't know how to do this.
Hugh: No you get used to it, you get used to it. So take some of your stone bricks that you need.
Dylan: I don't have a diamond pick.
Hugh: And now both of you, DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING until everything in the main area is cleared. OK? And then we'll be ready to go.
Mo: Alright, I've got 2 stacks of 64 stone brick stairs, and 2 stacks of 64 normal stone bricks.
Dylan: Hey Yoshi, why haven't you died in this chapter yet?
Mo: Because we're just- oh boy.
Hugh: Dick!
Mo: Here it comes... Dylan, don't do it. I know you've got anger management issues, Dylan. But please, control yourself for one chapter. Just one chapter, please promise me that I won't see Hugh has been slain-
Hugh: He provoked me! He provoked me!
Mo: Yoshi, Yoshi this will be a warning shot OK? I'm giving you a warning shot, just, that's it. That's it, just a warning shot.
Hugh: K.
Mo: Am I really gonna have to be the Papa Smurf here?
Hugh: Yes you are.
Dylan: I need food.
Mo: I need ducks.
Dylan: Yeah we should fix the roof of this, because it's all dirt.
Mo: No it's not.
Dylan: Yeah, right here.
Hugh: Yeah, there is actually.
Mo: What are you talking about? Oh, that?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: It's cause the top layer of that is literally like, grass.
Hugh: No it's not, we've got one more layer to go, before it goes grass.
Mo: Ah, alright.
Hugh: I saw that too, I just checked.
Mo: You should do it out of like, just wood, I guess.
Hugh: Yeah that would look good.
Dylan: Might as well make it stone to fit the motif.
Mo: You know what? Whatever. Here you guys, you guys wanna have fun? Here you go, have some marble. Hey, hey turn around you're supposed to pay attention to what I'm doing. Here have some stuff, build, have fun. You want some wood too? There you go, actually I want the wood.
Dylan: No.
Mo: Damn it. Dude, we should totally like, make a bunch of wood with the condenser thing.
Dylan: Oh yeah, that would be a good idea actually.
Hugh: Uh, no, no.
Some time later...
Mo: Hey I think it's that time of the fan fiction in which we lynch rubber trees!
Hugh: Aw yeah! That's just how we do, eat that wonton soup!
Mo: You could probably stick your peepee in there.
Dylan: I wouldn't want to do that.
Hugh: That's pretty cool actually.
Mo: Don't we need to make like a condenser or something to make the rubber into actual rubber?
Hugh: I think we do, I haven't looked into that myself.
Mo: Cause I know we have made actual rubber before, actually I think that's what I broke and we got a machine block in exchange is the condenser.
Hugh: Ohh, maybe it is, yeah. Yeah, I think it is, OK.
Mo: Alright, well you know what, I'm gonna make like a bunch of rubber wood, and then replant these trees and make our area look pretty. Why is there like a giant, just like, pillar of crap?
Dylan: That may or may not have been me.
Mo: OK, cool. Alright, great stuff guys.
Dylan: Those are the 2 options you had, it's either me or it's not me.
Mo: Yoshi's a stupid duck.
Hugh: Yeah I am, quack.
Dylan: Mo, we should like extend the house, lengthwise.
Mo: We are.
Dylan: Or that's what you're doing.
Mo: We are expanding it.
Mo was working on expanding the right side of the house.
Dylan: I'm gonna extend it on the other side. I need a shovel, I have a shovel, I don't have a shovel, I wish I had a shovel, Why can't I have a shovel?
Hugh: Here's a shovel.
Mo: We're gonna make this a thing, also there's gonna be glass here.
Hugh: Dylan have a shovel!
Dylan: That's not a shovel.
Hugh: That's a shovel!
Dylan: No it's not.
Hugh: What are you talkin' about?
Dylan: Maybe I should make a stone shovel in the uh, energy condenser.
Mo: Dude, no, but I don't want there to be like a million shovels in there, that's gonna happen, right?
Hugh: Yeah, you don't want to use the energy condenser for everything, just for making rare things or things you're really low on.
Dylan: So a stone shovel.
Hugh: No.
Mo: So, regular wood. Am I right? Yup, I've heard of that. Let me go make some.
Dylan: Actually, that's not that bad cause it's too obnoxious to go cut down trees anyway.
Mo: Let me go make a bunch of wood.
Dylan: No, make the planks, cause it's the same thing as like, doing regular stuffs.
Mo: Yeah, I'm making the planks.
Hugh: It's getting dark, should we go to sleep?
Mo: It only made 12, what the hell.
Dylan: It only has 102 EMC. Throw the tungsten in there.
Mo: There's already tungsten in there, OK let's throw this obsidian. Yaaay!
Hugh: Wait we don't have tungsten left, do we?
Mo: I just wasted obsidian.
Hugh: Wooow.
Mo: Oh, yes gold- oh my God! 2 freaking gold ingots gets made into this much wood. Wow, seriously?
Dylan: We will never go hungry again.
Mo: Dude, 2 gold ingots made that much wood.
Some time later...
Hugh: Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na! Fan fiction! It's even got singing in it, poor singing.
Dylan: That's not singing where I come from.
Hugh: What is it where you come from?
Dylan: It's called Cries of Yoshi.
Hugh: Wow.
Mo: YoshitoMario cries for 10 hours. That's a new video, it's a new viral video coming to your-
Hugh: And it's this chapter! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-
Mo: Thank you, I was waiting for you to do that. I'm not even kidding.
Dylan: Heh.
Mo: Ha, I was actually waiting for you to do...
Dylan: I better add him back before he erases this fan fiction.
Mo: Hee hee!
Dylan: While he's here, let's have some peace and quiet, just a little bit.
Mo: Hehehe!
Hugh: ...I proved my point.
Mo: Heheha! Oh boy, hey its YoshitoMario guys. Welcome back!
Dylan: Hey he's back.
Hugh: Heeeeeelllo guys.
Dylan: I swear, you don't understand.
Hugh: Heh.
Dylan: Before I met you, I just saw your channel and I was like, I heard your channel and I might not like this guy.
Mo: Damn, you know what this needs?
Dylan: Urine?
Mo: You saw his channel and you were like, you know what this needs?
Dylan: Urine?
Mo: Duct tape in his mouth. Ha!
Dylan: Yeah, actually that's pretty true.
Hugh: People like my intro.
Dylan: Yeah right!
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: And by people you mean like, people.
Dylan: Like, probably 1 person told you that they liked it, and then you took that to heart.
Mo: Hey hey hey hey hey Dylan, calm down before you have an army of Yoshmites attacking you. That is what they will be called from now on. Yoshmites.
Dylan: Yoshmites? Heh.
Hugh: Oh wow, that's quite a good name you got there.
Mo: Yes, I came up with it meself. Oh God a creeper! Aaah! Aaah! Nooo!
A creeper blew up near the farm that Mo was close to.
Hugh: Loool!
Dylan: It wouldn't be the fan fiction without that.
Hugh: Hahaha!
Mo: What the sh- awww...
Hugh: That was funny.
Mo: I didn't have- where did my sword go? Where'd my wood go? OK we need more sand, time to go to the condenser.
Hugh: I don't want to know where your wood went, thank you very much.
Dylan: I have sand, I only have 13, never mind.
Mo: Hey guys, we should go to sleep or something.
Hugh: Let's go sleep.
Dylan: That would be something to do.
Hugh: Let's go sleep in our beds! Have an orgy!
Mo: Where the hell else would we sleep? Are you dumb?
Hugh: We can sleep on the floor in your head!
Dylan: This is already starting to get much more fun now that we're like building- where did my bed go? Is it upstairs? I'd rather sleep upstairs.
Mo: I don't know, are we all upstairs? Hey we should like actually make different rooms for each other now. I don't want to sleep next to this dude.
Hugh: No I just wanted to sleep next to Mo so I moved Dylan upstairs.
Dylan: Hurry up, sleep.
Mo: Ohhh God. But I'm scared to sleep next to this guy!
Dylan: Yoshi get away, get off my bed!
Hugh was sitting on top of Dylan in a really sexual pose.
Dylan: Get off of my bed!
Mo: Hahaha!
Hugh: Hehehe!
Dylan: So how did you push me onto the floor?
Hugh: Haha!
Later in the night when Dylan was sleeping, Hugh started humping Dylan in bed! Mo was recording this on his phone, and Dylan never knew anything about this.
Mo: Dylan, are you comfortable there? How's that feel, buddy? Huh? How's that working out for you? Doing okay? Doing okay there, buddy? That bed looks comfortable man, I wouldn't want a Yoshi sittin' on it.
The next day...
Hugh: Whatchu talkin' about Willis?
Mo: What? What? What did he say? Did you hear what he said?
Hugh: I know where you put it.
Mo: I don't know what he said, like I'm trying to still understand-
Dylan: Mo this may be the most awkward entrance though, to the house.
Mo: Dude, who cares? Like, come on.
Dylan: But it's like this really long path that you have to go through.
Hugh: What's this kind of like entrance we've got here?
Mo: This is gonna be like the main lobby I guess. So like-
Hugh: We need like a door there.
Mo: No, we exit out here to the mines.
Hugh: Yeah but we can't just have that open, otherwise shit's gonna come in.
Mo had built a lobby that connects all the way to the farm.
Mo: Yeah I know, so this way we exit to the mines, and then we have a boat for our launching pad. And eventually we'll have a place that opens up to the ocean like over here.
Hugh: We need gates here as well, otherwise stuff's gonna come in.
Mo: Can't we make a portcullis? That would be so sweet if we had that.
Hugh: Umm, I don't know. That would be amazing if we could.
Mo: That would be really sweet.
Hugh: Yeah, I'd chop people's heads off with that.
Mo: That's not what a portcullis is, but OK.
Hugh: Yeah it is.
Mo: You're thinking of a guillotine I think.
Hugh: No I'm not.
Mo: Alright well, you can I guess chop off heads with a portcullis. You know what, I'll give you the benefit of the Yosh.
Hugh: You can. In fact, I'm just gonna go to Google Chrome and check what I think this is.
Mo: No it can chop off people's heads, but a guillotine is much more suited for doing so than a portcullis.
Hugh: Portcullis... Yeah, yeah this is what I'm thinking of! Well no, it doesn't really chop off people's heads, it just kinda chops people in half.
Dylan: Wonderful conversations on the fan fiction.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Hahahahaha! About chopping off people's heads!
Hugh: Heh heh heh! Pretty much!
Dylan: Buy yours now!
Mo: This is great, quality entertainment! Thank you guys for reading! Please support us by buying our Victoria Secret brand condom flavors!
Hugh: You've got MunchingOrange. The girls want to munch your orange.
Continued in Chapter 16!
________________________________________________
Chapter 16
Friendship Wins
________________________________________________
Current Date: October 25th 2012
Days Stranded: 79
Last time on Tekkit, our heroes expanded their house. That's literally it. And Hugh had sex with Dylan.
Hugh: Dylan, what would your flavor condom be?
Dylan: You know what Yoshi? I'm not gonna have one, cause I'm not gonna take part in this.
Mo: Alright so we're gonna take part in it for you. I'm pretty sure Dylan's would be urine flavor.
Hugh: Yeah I was gonna say that!
Mo: And it would be called- hehehehe! I don't even know!
Hugh: It would be called Do It Yourself, you have to pee on the condom before you use it.
Mo: Oh God!
Hugh: Hehehe!
Mo: Do It Yourself, The Jetter. I don't even know.
Hugh: Quite literally Do It Yourself. Oh no that's bad.
Mo: Jethrosex pills, buy it now!
Hugh: I don't know what mine would be.
Mo: The Jethrosex pill.
Dylan: Yours would be like Demonic Girl.ink.
Mo: What is this over here? Oh see I told you guys it was gonna open up to the land here, we can just build something cool here I guess. Do you see what I'm talking about? I don't think you do.
Hugh: Yeah, where we did the corridor thing.
Mo: Yeah.
Dylan: I'm so confused now.
Mo: Alright we need more glass, I know one of you has like, insane amounts of glass so give me some.
Dylan: Uh, it's in the chest.
Mo: Which one? There's like a billion chests and they're all so disorganized.
Dylan: There's 4, it's not gonna take you that long to check all of them.
Mo: There's 3 glass in here, Dylan.
Dylan: That's probably not the one.
Mo: K there's 1 glass in this one, and there's like three billion stacks of 64 in the last one. Great, so in 3 out of 4 of them there was glass! And it was all spread across the worlds, and then I injected my seed into the baby.
Hugh: That's how you do it!
Mo: And that's how you make friends, ladies and gentlemen.
Hugh: Makin' friends, and killin' people!
Mo: And choppin' off heads with portcullis!
Hugh: Make your picture!
Mo: With the portcullis sponsored by Victoria Secret!
Dylan: ...Please don't sponser us.
Hugh: Please do.
Mo: Dylan...
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Did you not know about my deal with Victoria Secret to sponsor this fan fiction? I thought we made this clear. Dylan, I thought we made this clear.
Dylan: I dunno, you told me to sign a contract and I wasn't looking cause I was half-asleep.
Mo: I went to PAX Prime last year, and I met up with this extremely successful Youtuber, now his name was SullyPwnz. Now he was actually- I only said that cause he logged onto Skype by the way. But now he, um, he gave me a piece of paper, and he told me, Sign your soul here. And then I said, Damn! I sure like me some soul! And so I signed the piece of paper, and so now we're sponsored by Victoria Secret!
Hugh: And that's just how we do!
Mo: Eat that wonton soup! Hey Yoshi, we should make this thing where we pump out oil somehow, and we should probably do that in the middle of our circle jerk.
Hugh: We should. Uh, where is the oil? Actually no wait, the oil is too close to our house, we'd probably find-
Mo: We can move it with a bucket can't we?
Hugh: Yeah, but then there's no point in pumping it.
Mo: Why not? There's oil right here, look.
Dylan: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...
Hugh: Yeah I guess. I dunno, you want a much bigger kind of spout, that's not much.
Dylan: 4, 5, 6...
Hugh: Oh my God there is a crazy amount coming down from this mountain! Do you remember? Just left over here, or right.
Mo: There's a what?
Hugh: Yeah we could build one there, there's this massive oil spout coming from the mountain.
Dylan: Hey Mo, we can have fun now that he's gone.
Hugh: OK, how is it now?
Mo: Oh God he's back. Dylan, hide your kids. And hide your men. And hide your husbands.
Hugh: Cause I'm raping everybody up here!
Mo: Oh God...
Dylan: That's not right, that is not something you wanna hear.
Mo: That is what I knew he would say, and that is why I prepared for it by getting an emerald with an EMC of 1000, and that made 15 paintings that day.
Dylan: Very good, very good.
Hugh: Did you genuinely just make 15 paintings?
Mo: Yes I did.
Dylan: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...
Hugh: Oh yeah.
Mo: And I placed one down on accident.
Dylan: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...
Hugh: Do you think that's a worthy investment? What happened to these walls? They kinda died.
Mo: What walls?
Hugh: The walls we were gonna have here next to the greenhouse.
Dylan: 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...
Mo: What do you mean? They're still here.
Dylan: 1, 2...
Hugh: Like here.
Dylan: Um, no it wasn't working out. Because um, it didn't work.
Hugh: Oh, sorry, I must have missed that.
Dylan: I have to break all this glass.
Hugh: Uh, do we want doors on here? Cause I'll make some doors now.
Mo: What wasn't working out? What are you guys talking about right now?
Dylan: Like, it wasn't even like, go on both sides of the path.
Hugh: Mo, do you want some doors over here?
Mo: Yeah, put on both doors there.
Hugh: OK, I'll sort you out bro.
Mo: Oh yeah, I know I know, cause it's better to have double doors. So whatever. The way I had it was for a single door, but that looks ugly. Hey we should have some really cool fountains.
Hugh: Man you gotta get dem bitches so we can be fiiine!
Mo: Shut up! Stop talking to me that way!
Hugh: No, bleah.
Mo: I don't like it when you talk to me that way, and I've told you this several times, and you continue to do this! And I don't understand why! Because I try! I like, dude!
Hugh: I tried so hard!
Mo: Oh God.
Hugh: And got so-
Mo: Alright guys, uh, unfortunately YoshitoMario was uh, um...
Dylan: Slain.
Mo: By a dragon in real life.
Dylan: No, by a pirate cult.
Hugh: Wait no! What? I wasn't!
Mo: Uh, hey do you hear something, Dylan?
Dylan: No.
Hugh: No, what? Oh wait, what?
Mo: I think YoshitoMario was slain by a portcullis.
Hugh: No, Mo, I wasn't. I'm right here!
Mo: And now he is actually going to be expelled from the Mo Show. So this is going to be his last time. Uh, we also need to find a new fan fiction website, so if anyone knows how to create a fan fiction website, and also hack websites to get back lost fan fiction, um... please let us know in the comments below.
Dylan: So um, if you all just want to go and hate YoshitoMario forever...
Mo: Hey Yoshi, look I made you a nice balloon thing.
Hugh: Oh my God, I'm the creeper.
Mo: I don't know what it looks like to you, but it looks like a nice little balloon to me. And...
Hugh: Oh, to me it's like a creeper standing behind a guy-
Mo: Ha! Ha! Haaa! Aha!
Mo started attacking Hugh, and then ran out!
Mo: I can't even run! God! Please help me! Hahahaha!
Hugh: I'm gonna take you down sucker! I'm gonna take you down!
Mo: No! Yah! Hyah! Stop! Stop!
MUNCHINGORANGE WAS KILLED BY YOSHITOMARIO!
Hugh: Whatchu know about that?
Some time later...
Mo: Hey. Hey we're back! Hahaha. Oh there's my things.
Dylan: I picked up some of it.
Hugh: I've got half of your stuff, I'll give it back.
Mo: Hey here's an idea, let's uh... let's go to sleep. You guys like that idea?
Hugh: I love that idea. Hold on, Mo.
Mo: I think we should hold off the roof of this area, until we have like some Nether bricks or something. Pretty.
Hugh: Yo, Mo my bro, I'm throwing you the items yo, fo sho.
Mo: Hey he fell and picked up my items again.
Dylan started attacking Hugh, and Hugh started to run in the forest!
Mo: DYLAN! DYLAN! Look, look Dylan...
Hugh: Keh heh heh. I think Dylan needs some punishment.
Mo: Listen, just listen to me OK? I have a little analogy for you. Come here.
Dylan: Alright?
Mo: Right here in front of me. Look at me.
Dylan: Wait, I need to fix this room.
Mo: Look at me! Dylan! Stop walking and look at me!
Dylan: Shut up, this room looks dumb.
Mo: Dylan! Just stop! OK?
Dylan: Yo.
Mo: Just stop moving! STOP! HEY! Dude! Stop!
Hugh: I'm getting immense enjoyment out of this.
Mo: OK, there come's a time in every man's life... when the doors... must close.
The 2 of them heard a creeper blow up near Hugh.
Dylan: Yes! Hahaha!
Hugh: Wow. It's fine, I've got diamond armor, dude. I didn't take any damage really.
Dylan: I saw that creeper walking towards him.
Hugh: Although that was win, I thought you blew me up with TNT. I was like, what?
Mo: Go back to standing behind the door please.
Dylan: Who was the idiot who gave Yoshi freaking diamond armor?
Hugh: Uh, it was me.
Mo: Can you go back to standing behind the door? CAN YOU GO BACK TO STANDING BEHIND THE- okay.
Hugh: Smack him.
Mo: Uh, Dylan... you see, there comes a point in life when you must open the door. And let through the emotions.
Dylan: Even though I could like walk around it?
Mo: No, uh...
Hugh: Hahahaha!
Mo: That's... OK, just pretend you can't! OK?
Dylan: I need to find a way to fix this.
Mo: Don't jump, like, please. If you jump, there's no point in doing any of this. OK, stand right here. Dylan, stand right here.
Dylan: Alright.
Mo: Alright-
Dylan: So I can open the door for myself.
Mo: No! You must learn to appreciate others work! And this is the point of this exercise, Dylan.
Dylan: Ah, exercise.
Mo: It's to appreciate the work of others. And then, maybe then, you won't randomly kill people as YoshitoMario did.
Dylan: Ah yes, of course, I don't want to be a YoshitoMario. That is very good advice.
Mo: Yoshi, please take off your helmet and look at me.
Hugh took off his helmet and looked at Mo with a warm smile on his face.
Mo: Thank you.
...But then Dylan started attacking Hugh anyway. Some time later...
Dylan: Oh God, Mo you might wanna run.
Mo: Come here people Yoshi. Save me from this creeper.
Hugh: Oh my God, oh my God- I've gotta watch this! I've gotta watch this!
Mo: Oh God!
Hugh: Dylan don't lead it in the house!
Dylan ran away as the creeper chased him into the basement!
Mo: Dylan! Keep freaking- NO! NO! NO! NOOOO!
Dylan: Oh God I can't-
Mo: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ahahahahah!
Mo killed the creeper without it blowing up!
Hugh: Nice!
Mo: Oh God...
Dylan: Heh heh heh.
Hugh: Who said an open planned house was a good idea?
Mo: See guys? We did it! We put aside our differences, and we took out a common enemy! This is the whole point of all of this! These 16 chapters or so that have gone on the Trollpasta Wiki so far, everything has led up to this moment. And we have done it! We've done it guys! We have truly come together despite our differences in Canadian, British, and Puerto Ricaness, we have done it. See? And now I think we can sleep together and have sex! Dylan please?
Dylan: Give me a second, I need to fix this house.
Hugh: I'm ready for an orgy!
Dylan: It's things like this that make people think you're gay.
Mo: Alright, I don't even know what I've done so far. I'm gonna actually try to do something now.
Dylan: 6, 7, 8, 9...
Mo: Stop counting. It's not good for your soul.
Dylan: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...
Hugh: Mo, I think you should come check out Dylan's room, it's pretty pretty.
Dylan: I don't even trust what you did there.
Mo: Do you guys have anymore wood? Cause I know I made a bunch on the EMC converter thing.
Dylan: Yeah I do have wood. I have a bunch.
Mo: Can I have some? Can I have some so- oh my God there's another creeper! Hold on I got this one!
Hugh: Look at that creeper peeper.
Mo: I got it, I got it. Dylan, give me some wood so I can finish the house and not have it open to the...
Dylan: Alright, give me a second.
Mo: Can we please get some doors in on this house? Dylan?
Dylan: Yeah? Sorry, I'm just running away from a zombie.
Mo: Dylan, give me wood.
Dylan: Alright.
Mo: Dylan...
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Give me wood.
Dylan: Alright.
Mo: Dylan...
Dylan: That's a good concept.
Mo: Dylan, give me wood. There is a zombie in your thing.
Hugh: Wow that's hot.
Mo: But I am the Red Ranger. Give me wood!
Hugh: Oh my God, you gotta stop asking that, Mo!
Mo: Ahhhh! Oh boy that's some pretty big wood!
Hugh: Wow.
Mo: Oh man, that hurts.
Hugh: I don't know how to feel about this.
Dylan: I don't like this fan fiction.
Mo: Dylan you love this fan fiction, what are you talking about right now? Tekkit is your favorite time of the month cause we apparently write once a month.
Dylan: Hm-mm.
Hugh: Yeah. It's like a period, it's painful, but it goes away.
Dylan: Just like Yoshi.
Mo: And then you end up loving it.
Hugh: Heh! And you end up loving it because it's what makes you you.
Dylan: So not like Yoshi.
Mo: Yes, the fan fiction is like we all come together- that's what she said. And then we love each other in the end. That's what Tekkit's all about.
Hugh: Exactly.
Mo: Except for Yoshi, everyone hates him. But you know what? No matter what people say about Yoshi, you know what Yoshi?
Dylan: He's still a terrible person.
Mo: Look at me here for a second. I LOVE YOU YOSHITOMARIO!
There was an awkward silence before Dylan ran past Hugh slapping him. Some time later...
Hugh: Hey Dylan, come check out your room, it's all prettified.
Dylan: I don't even trust what you did there.
Hugh: It's genuinely looking nice, I'm not even kidding!
Dylan: No.
Mo: What did he do?
Hugh: Look come see! It looks good!
Dylan: Alright, let me make a shovel first.
Hugh: OK.
Mo: Ah I need a shovel too, give me one. Damn it, this is going so slow now cause I keep forgetting what I'm doing. We literally got so much done so fast and now-
Dylan: You put paintings everywhere.
Hugh: Yeah, it looks amazing!
Mo: Oh God.
Dylan: Mo, here's a shovel. I'm sure you're gonna love this shovel.
Mo: I have a better shovel, it's made out of diamonds.
Hugh: I placed a couple more paintings just so you know, Dylan.
Mo: I have a shovel made of diamond.
Dylan: OK. Why am I making stuff out of iron? We have diamonds!
Hugh: So what's our next goal? We need like a good goal.
Mo: We're fixing our house, and then next chapter we're going to the Nether.
Hugh: OK. What do we need left to do on the house? What have we got?
Dylan: Make it look nice.
Hugh: I'm trying to figure stuff out here.
Mo: We have to finish it first of all, cause half of it is open to monsters right now.
Hugh: I know. Dumb.
Mo: Dumb YoshitoMario doesn't know how to do anything.
Hugh: Wow thanks, that was totally me that made that mistake, wasn't it. Yeah.
Dylan: Oh you know what we should do Mo? For like an entire half hour script, we should talk about what we're going to do and then do it off script.
Mo: Oooh. Dude that's a good idea!
Hugh: That's awesome.
Mo: Sounds a lot like this Youtube channel I've been watching recently called YoshitoMario. Where they provide the most excellent Minecraft content, and not Nintendo content like Mario with Yoshi.
Dylan: That's not funny.
Hugh: Actually I found it rather tickling.
Mo: Tickling?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Now this is true British humor right here.
Hugh: Indeed. Oh shit!
Mo: I just heard an explosion.
Hugh: Dylan!
Dylan: That was not me.
Continued in Chapter 17!
________________________________________________
Chapter 17
El Nether
________________________________________________
Current Date: November 5th 2012
Days Stranded: 90
Last time on Tekkit, our heroes finished working on their house. Their lobby is complete! Now in Dylan's room, let's see how they're doing in their spooky costumes!
Mo: Today, it's not Halloween... but we've dressed up! Yeah!
Hugh: Wooo!
Mo: Yeah! Why are you breaking my glass?
Dylan: You son of a bitch.
Hugh: Because it's Halloween and we need to trick the house.
Dylan: Vandalism is the greatest part of- thank you.
Hugh pushed Dylan out of the window!
Hugh: Hahahahahahaha!
Mo: Oh God.
Dylan: Alright you know what, I'm just gonna work on my greenhouse.
Hugh: Hahahahah!
Mo: Alright so I am dressed as the Black Widow, as you can see from my wonderful chest.
Hugh: Hahaha! He's just going off to work!
Mo: Uh, Dylan where'd you go?
Dylan: I got kicked out of the house.
Mo: Dylan is dressed as the wonderful Iron Man. We'll see soon, where is he?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Let's go find him. Dylan?
Hugh: So funny.
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Dylan where'd you go?
Dylan: Playing Halloween hide and seek.
Mo: Dylan, Dylan what are you doing?
Dylan: Mo stop.
Mo: Dylan stop. Oh it's a skeleton! OK where are you Dylan?
Dylan: I might be in the mine underneath the ground.
Mo: Oh God, I can't find you! Ahhh it's a spidder! It's a sp- aah! It's a spidder. Where is it?
Hugh: I found him!
Dylan: Stop! I just want to be alone...
Mo: Kill the skeleton! I'm gonna die guys!
Hugh: Crouch!
Mo: Help me, help me, help I'm gonna die. Guys help me!
Hugh: We're coming.
Dylan: This is your fault for not putting a door right here.
Mo: There is a door- it's not inside our house. This is a great start. OK so Dylan is Iron Man! See, we went with the theme of Avengers but Yoshi didn't apparently get the memo cause he's an idiot. So um...
Hugh: You're the one who made these costumes!
Mo: What are you talking about? I said we're going as Avengers.
Dylan: No that's not even a costume, that's just Yoshi got eaten by a bunch of zombies after exploding a bunch.
Hugh: That's just me.
Mo is dressed up as Black Widow, complete with a Black Widow wig. Dylan is Iron Man, but without the helmet. And Hugh is dressed up all zombified, with his clothes tattered and his skin pale.
Mo: Where did you even go and what is this room that we were even in?
Dylan: Dude, that costume is just signifying how many times he's died.
Hugh: Ahaha, I see what you did there.
Mo: Ahh, I understand now, this is Dylan's room. You've covered it in paintings, the paintings that I struggled to collect, and you just put them all over this room.
Dylan: I need a boat.
Hugh: I know, I think it looks good.
Mo: Yeah, see, we were gonna go with the theme of the Avengers, but then Yoshi decided: "Uhhh I'm just gonna go get eaten by zombies."
Hugh: Just casually, whatever.
Mo: Dick.
Hugh: But we're gonna go to the Nether today aren't we?
Dylan: These chests have not worked out at all, I'm just putting things around and man!
Mo: We're going to the Nether, Dylan. Get ready.
Dylan: OK.
Hugh: We are. I need to go and condense me a few more blocks.
Mo: I don't have any armor. Oh my God look at all of this. I'm gonna put like random stuff in the chest.
Dylan: Oh my God look at her butt- oh my goodness why is this open?
Hugh: Oh my God Becky.
Mo: I don't know, but I'm gonna start like- OK we need one diamond. Where is one diamond?
Hugh: No it's fine, dude we don't need a diamond.
Mo: No like, I wanna, I just wanna condense all of this energy into something.
Hugh: Oh, well, no dude, condense it into freaking obsidian.
Mo: Oh where's obsidian?
Hugh: Oh my God!
Mo: Do we even have one obsidian?
Hugh: Yeah look in the chest!
Mo: Where?
Hugh: Look in the chest.
Mo: How did you make so much?
Hugh: Because you put like tools in there and stuff.
Mo: Yeah cause I don't want all- look at all these tools I have! I don't want them.
Hugh: OK it's fine, anyway we've got our obsidian.
Mo: Can you put one obsidian back there? I'm gonna make a bunch of apples.
Hugh: We don't need that much obsidian.
Mo: I want apples, give me apples.
Hugh: Dude I've got it, get a piece of flint & steel.
Mo: These chests are so disorganized, I don't know why I try to organize them. You guys just suck at it.
Hugh: I know.
Mo: We're getting ready for this Nether, Dylan, and you're just not doing anything.
Dylan: I am making a wonderful greenhouse! You shut up!
Hugh: Heh.
Mo: You're not doing anything.
Hugh: He's becoming more of the lady of the house.
Dylan: How? This is building, ladies don't build.
Mo: Where are the diamonds?
Hugh: We don't need diamonds.
Dylan: Oh I may or may not have 52 right on me at this very moment.
Hugh: Yeah, Dylan's got all of them by the way.
Mo: Dylan can I have some?
Dylan: Um, I don't know.
Mo: Am I not allowed?
Dylan: Ah, I'd love to answer that.
Mo: Can I please have some diamonds, Dylan? Dylan, I'm asking kindly. May I please have... Dylan... you threw them on the wrong side of the fence, Dylan.
Dylan: Sorry.
Hugh: I threw it on the ground!
Dylan: Shut up.
Mo: Here, let me go ahead and cross the fence there. Thank you. Now I don't have to trample your crops.
Dylan: Why do you do this? Why is your threatening is like-
Mo: It's like blackmail. What did you do, why did you make me gravelly?
Hugh: Because it's graveltastic.
Mo: OK I'm gonna make some armor.
Hugh: OK, I'm all set to go to the Nether.
Dylan: Mo you're a dick, if I don't do what you want, you're gonna destroy our food source.
Hugh: OK, I'm gonna go build the portal in Dylan's room.
Dylan: No.
Mo: No, it's not gonna go there at all.
Hugh: Where do we want it? Like seriously?
Mo: I dunno.
Dylan: Why is that gonna be in my bedroom?
Mo: Alright, why is there gravel here though? I already have a flint & steel by the way.
Hugh: We can build it on the greenhouse. Come outside.
Mo: Oh my God, I'm holding flint & steel, I'm gonna accidently set the house on fire!
Hugh: I've already got flint & steel as well.
Mo: Uh, yeah oh well.
Hugh: Let's build it here.
Mo: Going to the Nether~ Going to the Nether~ Yeah this was the original idea, this is why I made this. No you're an idiot, it didn't go there. God, oh my God you're so dumb. OK we'll just do it here, I don't care.
Hugh: Good.
Mo: Wait the Nether portal's only 2, it's not symmetrical.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Oh well. We'll make it symmetrical.
Hugh: That's just what happens.
Mo: I'm gonna fall down here. Yeah, I don't care.
Dylan: No! This is unsymmetrical, you guys are bad!
Hugh: OK, let's do it.
Mo: Hey guess what? It is time everybody!
Mo whipped out his flint & steel, he activated the portal and started setting fire everywhere!
Hugh: Let's go!
Hugh was about to go in the portal, but then he turned around and saw fire was near the house!
Hugh: No! No!
It was too late! The house started to get set on fire!
Hugh: Oh my God! Oh my God it's on fire! Our house is on fire!
Mo: Oh God! Oh no! Nonononononononono! Nononono! No! Turn it off! Turn it off!
Mo started putting out some of the fire!
Hugh: That's kinda what I said.
Mo: Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!
Hugh: I'm going inside! WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Mo: Ahahaa!
Dylan: Ahahaha!
Hugh: Why?!
Mo: No! I was not paying attention to this! Nonono turn it off! Off off off off off off off off! Oh my God it's almost off! 2nd floor 2nd floor 2nd floor!
Hugh: Oh crap the 2nd floor!
Mo: I got it! I got it! I got it!
Hugh: Oh God it's going into the attic!
Mo: Dylan your paintings! Oh God I fell! Ooooooh...
Dylan: Did you die?
Mo: No.
Hugh: I put it out.
Dylan: No not my paintings, the paintings that Hugh very cleverly gave to me. I can't even get to the ladder!
Mo: I got it! It's done it's done! OK!
Dylan: No it's not there's one over here! Oh my God!
Mo: No, we've saved the house!
Hugh: Why?! Why Mo?! Why did you do this?!
Mo: It wasn't on purpose!
Dylan: Hey look it's still on fire.
Hugh: Oh God it's still on! It's still on at the top! It's on at the top of the house!
Mo: Guys... guys...
JETHROTEX HIT THE GROUND TOO HARD!
Hugh: So Dylan and Mo suck, although Dylan less.
Dylan: What are you talking about? What do you mean I suck? I'm like perfectly good, you guys are idiots. I wish Hugh was a British person cause actually British people would be smarter than him.
Mo: Oh God, OK there is a lot of like, burning going on here.
Dylan: Dude, like one of these beds is just floating.
Mo: Yeah, sorry guys. Technical difficulties.
Hugh: Not technical difficulties, Mo being a difficult- dickficul- ah OK.
Mo: Dickficult?
Dylan: Ha, you can't even say words.
Mo: Were you trying to say dickficult? Is that what you were trying to say?
Hugh: I was! Yeah, you caught on to my joke!
Mo: It wasn't a joke, it was horrible, and I hate you.
Hugh: No I think you'll find it was the most hilarious of jokes.
Mo: No it was absolutely horrible, and you should die for it.
Hugh: Technical dickficulties ya dick!
Mo: You should die for making that joke. Alright, so we're ready to go to the Nether.
Dylan: Not really cause someone took all of my items. You obviously don't understand.
Mo: Alright then Dylan can stay behind as the main lady.
Dylan: Wait! I need armor!
Mo: Hugh, we shall take our step together!
With the fire put out in the house. Our 3 handsome heroes stepped into the portal, and entered the world of Nether! The Nether was a dark dreary place that had only the most dangerous of monsters, and no human has made it out alive! As the 3 of them stepped out of the portal, they found a fortress off in the distance. They headed there first!
Mo: Oh God, this place does not look good. This place does not look well. Ooh we have- oh my God what is that? OK so we spawned right next to a thing already.
Hugh: Wow a fortress! We need to explore this right now, let's do this!
Mo: Really? Dude there's sounds in here and I'm scared. Ooh dude what is this? There's like red rocks stuck in this crap. What is this?
Hugh: That's Nether redstone ore.
Mo: It's called Nether redstone ore.
Dylan: Where are you guys?
Hugh: Oh I found blazes!
Mo: We're near this fortress.
Dylan: Oh I see.
Hugh: I found blazes my friend, I found blazes.
Mo: OK I'll come back to you Dylan. Hi!
Dylan: Hi. What is this?
Mo: It's a fortress.
Dylan: Why does this one look specifically different?
Hugh: Mo over here! Over here!
Mo: I have no idea, uh, I think cause it's like on the ground.
Dylan: Nono, see this one here?
Mo: Ahh, yeah no, cause there's Nether ores.
Dylan: Oh. Oooh.
Mo: Like, I right now have Nether redstone ore, and Nether copper ore. I don't know what the difference between them and normal ores is, but uh...
Hugh: You can basically exchange it for more diamonds and stuff, in the energy condenser. At least that's what I've read, so that's pretty cool.
Mo: That's the whole point of it?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Should I be collecting these? How come they take long to collect even with a diamond pick?
Mo was mining some ore and it exploded!
Mo: Oh God! What was that?!
Hugh: Oh we've got a ghast.
Mo: What was that?
Hugh: I think we've got a ghast.
Mo: No I don't see any ghasts.
Dylan: No I think like one of the things exploded.
Mo: Really?
Dylan: I would assume so, there's no ghasts anywhere.
Mo: What the hell was that? Why did something explode? It's Nether gold ore, why would it explode?
Dylan: Maybe you obviously didn't use a Nether pickaxe.
Mo: Is that a thing? Cause I obviously don't have one, as I don't know that it exists. Oh why is this thing attacking me?!
Dylan: Oh hey it's a pigman.
Mo: Why is it attacking me?
Dylan: I dunno, but I don't have any armor.
Mo: I think it's cause Hugh aggroed on it like an idiot.
Dylan: I actually do have iron armor, cause I'm Iron Man.
Hugh: I didn't do anything, you can't aggro on them unless you hit them!
Mo: OK well I obviously never hit them. Look it's going after you now! See? It was you!
Hugh: Yeah cause I'm hitting it, and I'm closest to it.
Mo: OK well you hit it first is what I'm saying, I'm sorry I wasn't clear about that. Alright guys, we're breaking and entering, come on. How do we even get in here?
Hugh: Uh, like this.
Dylan: I'm already on here.
Mo: Is there nothing in here?
Hugh: Mo, Mo this is the walkway, there's gonna be stuff on top of it.
Mo: Oh seriously?
The 3 of them got on the walkway of the fortress and started exploring.
Dylan: Hi.
Mo: Oh.
Dylan: Oh boy lava, should I jump in it?
Hugh: Dylan knows.
Dylan: What do you mean Dylan knows? I'm like the smartest out of you.
Hugh: Nothing.
Dylan: You should have brought cobblestone and stuff cause ghasts can't break cobblestones.
Some time later...
Mo: Oh my God why are there blazes now?! Oh I'm scared! I'm scared.
Hugh: Yeah, we kinda started fighting them but then ran away.
Mo: Hold on, I'm gonna run because-
Dylan: No Mo, you're running the wrong way! We're over here!
Mo: Why is there wood? Guys?
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Guys I need help.
The 3 of them encountered a long corridor.
Mo: Oh God, I'm gonna barricade myself.
Hugh: No come on! We're facing these guys! Come at me bros!
Hugh charged into the corridor attacking blazes! Mo started making a wall of wood.
Dylan: Oh boy wood, they're totally not gonna get through this what with the fire!
Mo: Dylan...
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Shhhhhh...
Dylan: Hey Mo, have you not just experienced the fact that you lit our house on fire with fire?
Mo: Dylan...
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Shhhhh...
Dylan: And Mo is very smart barricading himself with wood that lights on fire. Yoshi did you do this?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Why did you do this? You were like, I'm gonna fight these guys head on! And then you just built a walkway of wood. Please don't push me.
Hugh: You were pushing me- oh God!
Dylan: Please stop using wood! Dude, use dirt, go back to the house and use dirt or something. Cause we don't have much wood.
Mo: I have a lot of wood actually.
Hugh kept building a walkway of wood in the corridor to get past some lava.
Dylan: Hugh I said stop! I will hit you into this lava!
Mo: Would you like to see how much wood I have exactly?
Dylan: I don't care.
Mo: Enough to stop these lavafalls.
Dylan: We don't have enough, we don't have enough.
Hugh: I'm sure it is lots.
Dylan: Oh Hugh, jump into this.
Mo: See? Look I stopped the flow of the lava already.
Hugh: Thank you.
Mo: There's lava above us by the way, guys.
Dylan: Look there's wood underneath.
Mo: What are we trying to get at here exactly? Ooh what is this?
Hugh: Can we go down that?
Mo: Is this like a well?
Dylan: Hugh, test for us.
Mo: There's nothing here.
Dylan: You're an idiot.
Mo: Why?
Dylan: No, Hugh, cause he just like put obsidian.
Hugh: Heh heh.
Mo: Is there anything back here?
Hugh: Uh, I think it's just Nether, no.
Mo: No, there's another wall.
Hugh: Oh, sweet.
Mo: Oh God! There's a blaze spawner! Hold on, hold on!
Hugh: Oh my God.
Mo: Back up, back up! Kill it, kill it! Don't kill it with fire!
Dylan: Quick, kill it with fire.
Mo: See I knew you were gonna say that, so I preemptivly said don't kill it with fire cause they are made of fire.
Dylan: Oh I see, that's the joke.
Hugh: I'm gonna take the spawner out, OK the spawner's down.
Dylan: Wow, we could have made a spawner.
Mo: I killed it. Aren't we supposed to keep the spawners around and not break them? So we can get blaze rods or something like that?
Hugh: Uh, I've got enough blaze rods.
Mo: How many?
Hugh: More blaze rods would be good.
Mo: We don't even need to, cause we can just make more with the condenser.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: Oh yeah, that's right.
YOSHITOMARIO WAS KILLED BY MUNCHINGORANGE!
Mo: Oh look I killed you.
Hugh: Wow.
Dylan: Oh sweet thank you, I got some items now!
Mo: I may have killed you.
Dylan: Alright.
Mo: I'm sorry for that.
Continued in Chapter 18!
________________________________________________
Chapter 18
Nether Hoes Don't Cry
________________________________________________
Current Date: November 8th 2012
Days Stranded: 93
Last time on Tekkit, our heroes got dressed up in their Halloween costumes and went into the Nether for some hardcore trick or treat! And Mo accidently set the house on fire, what an idiot...
Dylan: You took my items from before so stop it, Hugh.
Hugh: Pick my stuff up.
Dylan: Hugh...
Mo: I have a bunch of really crap.
Dylan: We're gonna stop, K? No, we're gonna stop, Hugh.
Hugh: Dylan, take my stuff up.
Dylan: We're gonna stop. Stop! No seriously!
Mo: Hey guys, I have some torches from somewhere.
Dylan: I will jump into lava, Hugh. I will jump into lava!
Mo: Please stop arguing. Guys, I love you both so much, and I don't like it when you argue.
Dylan: I will threaten you by killing myself.
Hugh: Well Dylan, I don't have anything so you'd better give me some stuff. So my stuff.
Mo: Guys don't cross the fire. Oh God you crossed the fire.
Hugh: I didn't do anything, someone set me on fire!
Mo: No I told you not to cross the line of fire. It's a ritual that the boys must perform, it's when they jump over the fire! Shit.
Dylan: Here, stop hitting me.
Mo: OK that didn't work. It's supposed to be a ritual where the boys jump over the fire, but in our case it didn't really work. So- oh my God I'm gonna die. OK I'm good.
Hugh: Dylan, I had the diamond armor I believe.
Dylan: Yeah and I had the iron.
Mo: I need some space so that I may regen, please leave me.
Dylan: You want some chicken? I have some chicken.
Mo: I'm regenning, slowly but surely, and don't call me Shirley.
Dylan: Oh you've seen that movie?
Mo: No.
Dylan: Oh.
Mo: I've seen The Office.
Dylan: Oh.
Mo: You saw that, you felt kind of proud for a second, didn't you.
Hugh: Well Dylan, give me my sword at least.
Dylan: No, cause your obviously going to take the sword and kill me with it.
Hugh: I won't kill you.
Mo: Oh no... dude- oh there's so much lava above us. Is there not lava in this block here?
Dylan: Wait, why don't we-
Mo broke a hole in the ceiling and saw lava coming down!
Mo: Oh look- Oh nonono! Shit! Shit.
Hugh: Oh boy.
Mo sealed the opening with wood.
Mo: OK, we're good.
Hugh: That's not a good stopper, if I'm gonna be honest.
Mo: What? Why?
Hugh: It's wood.
Mo: Is it gonna burn?
Dylan: Like that? Like that, Hugh? Like that, Mo? Mo Mo Mo?
Mo: What what what? Oh no! OK.
Hugh: Heh.
Mo: That's not good.
Hugh: How did you not notice that?
Mo: Um...
Dylan: I told you guys to stop using wood.
Mo: Well that's too bad cause I have nothing else. I have Nether bricks.
Dylan: Stop it.
Mo: OK I have this, hold on. I have this, there we go. Alright, so I think we can make our way behind this lavafall if we go over- oh no never mind. Oh no, oh no, oh no, OK.
Dylan: Hey Mo, do you have a bucket of water?
Mo: Uhhh, oh I got it! I got it guys, hold on. Just make sure you don't touch the lava and cross over here.
Dylan: Yeah I don't trust that.
Hugh: Oh boy.
Mo: Guys? Am I good?
Hugh: Dylan!
Mo: Guys are you okay?
Hugh: It's okay, we're fine.
Dylan: We're fine.
Hugh: I nearly had a close call with Dylan.
Mo: Uh, I made it. I made it to the top.
Mo made it to the top of the corridor, and he saw more Nether fields and lavafalls.
Mo: Oh this is so dangerous. I'm scared.
Hugh: Oh my- what? This is a bit-
Dylan: This is not a smart thing to do right now.
Hugh: No I'm gonna agree with Mo.
Mo: Come here blaze. Blazes! Set me ablaze!
Hugh: Haha!
Mo: Oh pig! Pig help me, Piggu! K, he's not helping, he's dying.
Dylan: Aw.
Mo: Get away!
Dylan: Ah he just hit me. Quick, use your arrows.
Hugh: I see another fortress here.
Dylan: Does anyone know where the Nether portal is by the way?
Mo: Uh, no. We can just make another one.
Dylan: Ah. Oh sweet that would be cool! We can make another one, and make a new house there, and then we could like link the 2 portals. I like how the only person who's died in the Nether has been- the first person to die in the Nether was Yoshi.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Well Yoshi was the only person that ever dies.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: All the time.
Hugh: Because...
Mo: Because you suck at the fan fiction.
Hugh: You killed me, Mo.
Mo: And that's why we're competing in a race for wool maybe.
Hugh: Perhaps.
Dylan: Ooh can I? Yay, this is fun!
Mo: Dylan is not, because Dylan sucks.
Dylan: Why?! You guys are dicks!
Mo: Dylan sucks at video games, OK? See you later, I don't even want you in this anymore.
Hugh: Whoa.
Mo: You know what, Dylan? This is why I opened the channel with you, because we suck at games. OK?
Hugh: That's a good answer.
Mo: ...Dylan? Dylan please come home- oh my God- see they explode! The freaking ores like randomly explode!
Hugh: Did you take a lot of damage?
Mo: No, I didn't take any at all actually.
Hugh: So they don't hurt you then, they just explode?
Mo: I guess, I don't know why they randomly explode though. See it exploded again!
Hugh: I saw that.
Mo: What the hell?!
Hugh: That's really weird.
Mo: What is that?! I don't know what this is... Alright, so Yoshi...
Hugh: Yeah?
Mo: Looks like it's just you and me, baby. Here, have an apple.
Hugh: Come closer. Licklicklicklick...
Mo: Leave me alone, I don't want you to touch me. I want you away from my children, you monster.
Hugh: You have kids?
Mo: You Monster Energy, sponser.
Hugh: I'm drinking a Monster right now.
Mo: I don't care.
Hugh: Its name is Mo.
Mo: Is this gonna lead us anywhere? Or is this- oh look, I found a room. Oh God, OK we're back to where you put the obsidian at.
Hugh: Ooooh, OK that's kinda cool.
Mo: Welcome back to the fan fiction, Dylan.
Dylan: No.
Mo: How was your vacation?
Dylan: No.
Mo: How was your vacation?
Dylan: No. Stop hitting me!
Mo: You didn't like it?
Dylan: Good, that's right you fell in fire!
Mo: No we gave you some nice vacation days. Um, TGS did I think, they gave you some vacation days.
Hugh: Heh.
Mo: As if this was a real job where you require vacation days.
Dylan: Yeah cause I'm stressed out by your constant crap.
Mo: I don't have crap, I have urine.
Hugh: Those Youtubers, we should get vacation days, I'm just saying it right now.
Mo: As Youtubers...
Dylan: Oh yeah cause we totally can't just take them ourselves.
Hugh: OK I know where the Nether portal is, I can see it from here.
Mo: Oh OK, I know where I see a bunch of glowstone, I'm gonna get some. How do you make glowstone lamps? I've always wondered that.
Hugh: Do you need glowstone for glowstone lamps? I don't know.
Mo: They're not called glowstone lamps, they're called redstone lamps you idiot.
Hugh: Oh, I can see glowstone lamps.
Mo: No, I said that I found glowstone and then I asked if you needed glowstone to make redstone lamps.
Hugh: I was making some the other day, and I can't remember what the recipe is.
Mo: I don't think you need glowstone, but whatever. Glowstone is good for EMC anyway.
Hugh: It is, it's got that tasty nutritious goodness that only comes from EMC.
Mo: Oh dude, magma cubes!
Hugh: Ah magma slimes, yeah, game on, mo suckers! Dylan's quiet again.
Mo: Magma cubes, not slimes. I don't care about Dylan, he's gone, he's dead to me.
Dylan: Shut up.
Hugh: Yay! Dylan dun died.
Mo: Dylan, can you come to where I am?
Dylan: Maybe.
Mo: I don't know where you are, so I can't come to you.
Hugh: I can't come to you cause I don't have a pickaxe, I wonder why.
Mo: Maybe I can come to you actually. Dylan?
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Where are you?
Dylan: I'm just looking around.
Mo: Ah, I need you to meet up with me.
Dylan: K, give me a sec.
Mo: I have an important message to deliver.
Dylan: Alright, give me a second. I'm trying to look around where everything is.
Mo: There's a peace treaty that you need to sign.
Hugh: What is that message, Mo?
Mo: It's just a peace treaty.
Hugh: Oh, I don't wanna sign that shit.
Mo: No you don't have to sign it, just Dylan.
Hugh: Yay!
Mo: You have to agree to it, cause we signed our blood contract earlier.
Hugh: Crap, we did.
Dylan: You ever watch Black Butler?
Mo: Remember? The one where you peed on me, and I peed on you and then- what?
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: You pee on him?
Mo: Heheheheh.
Dylan: That's a blood contract? Wouldn't your blood contract a disease from peeing on him?
Mo: Yeah, cause we're on our periods.
Hugh: STD!
Mo: That's how periods work, Dylan, you bleed out of your weewee. Sorry, sorry female readers. Oh wait, hahaha, we don't have any of those! Hahaha!
Dylan: At least one or two, come on, give yourself some credit, Mo.
Mo: No there aren't, there aren't, Dylan, come on. They're probably very depressed boys pretending to be girls. Hahaha.
Dylan: They're trying to get free stuff on Maple Story.
Hugh: Oh God.
Mo: No, what are you talking about Dylan? Dylan stop.
Dylan: Heh.
Mo: I didn't do that, shut up. DUDE! Why do the ores explode?!
Hugh: I dunno.
Dylan: Dude, they just have a very explosive personality.
Mo: That's not funny. DUDE! Stop freaking exploding! Do they actually just like explode or like am I... I'm gonna die. OK I'm good, that's good that I didn't die. By the way, they do hurt you Yoshi, or maybe they don't actually hurt you and I'm just being hurt by fire alone.
Dylan: It's probably fire.
Hugh: Yeah.
Some time later...
Mo: Dude what is that? It's like a mace of gravel.
Dylan: Do you know what a mace that is?
Mo: A table.
Dylan: Ah.
Hugh: OH!
YOSHITOMARIO HIT THE GROUND TOO HARD!
Hugh: Crap!
Mo: Ah.
Dylan: Heh, look at that.
Mo: Ah, that is so unusual, I did not expect that to happen. Hey Dylan where are you?
Dylan: I gotta go pick up- oh God I'm on fire!
Mo: Do you even see me? Oh, I see you. Hi.
Dylan: You can see me now that I'm lit up. I gotta go down there and get Hugh's items.
Hugh: I had literally nothing on me apart from iron.
Dylan: See Hugh? Isn't it good that I didn't give you back your armor? You would have lost it anyways.
Hugh: No!
Mo: You should try to find where we are even though that's probably gonna be hard. Oh I hear a ghast! Oh no. Ooooh where is it?
Dylan: Hugh can't you teleport back to us?
Mo: Dude I'm gonna go ghast hunting, where is it?
Hugh: Uh, yeah, I'll try and find you first.
Mo: Oh there it is! There it is! Dylan we're going ghast hunting!
Dylan: K wait, I just have to kill this blaze.
Mo: Dylan, have you ever seen the show about whale hunting?
Hugh: Yes.
Mo: We're gonna do that with ghasts.
Dylan: Ahh.
Hugh: That sounds amazing.
Mo: Come up here, come up here you little bitch! Hnng! I'm talking to the ghast.
Dylan: Oh OK, that's fine then. I just hear you fighting it in the distance.
Mo: Ha! Oooooh I killed it!
Dylan: Yeah!
Mo: You know how I killed it?
Hugh: Good job.
Mo: I shot it's own fire back at it! Aaaaaa! Little bitch. Hey Dylan, watch this. 360 jump to you! Hi.
Dylan: Hi.
Mo: How's it going?
Dylan: Could you pick that stuff up please? Thank you.
Mo: I don't have any space in my inventory.
Dylan: Yeah neither do I, that's the problem.
Mo: That kinda sucks. Maybe you should get some more inventories.
Dylan: Hmmmmm, I should get a backpack.
Mo: You know what we should do? Is I shouldn't be standing here cause it's probably gonna explode. But um, we should just make a chest and put everything we don't need in it.
Dylan: Sounds like a good idea.
Hugh: I thought you did make a chest when we went up and there was-
Mo: Yeah, I did it once.
Dylan: Oh look there's glowstone on the ground, this makes it so much more convenient.
Mo: But I'm gonna do it again. Here Dylan, come here. Oh no my blaze rods...
Hugh: Shouldn't you just try to return to that place and have it all in one chest?
Mo: No, cause it's stuff that I don't want. Ever.
Hugh: Ooh, I thought it was temporary storage, ah OK.
Mo: Well I don't know, it could be, but maybe not. Yo Dylan.
Dylan: What?
Mo: I put a chest here if you want to dump anything you don't want in it.
Dylan: OK, give me a sec.
Mo: Such as Netherrack, cause we have a lot of it.
Dylan: I don't have any of it.
Mo: Um, gravel... should I even keep these mushrooms? I don't need mushrooms.
Dylan: Oh my God I'm on fire.
Mo: Are you on fire?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Are you a man on fire?
Hugh: But you love the Nether, the Nether is like the best place.
Mo: The Nether is like my mom, she's so delicate and yet so rough.
Dylan: And fragrant.
Mo: In tungsten.
Hugh: I dare say that sounds sexual.
Mo: Dude I'm scared of where I am right now, cause I could just so easily fall in lava. OK we shouldn't be here, I'm scared.
Hugh: No.
Mo: Alright, so what else do we need to find here in the Nether? Since we already got a bunch of ores, should we get Netherwarts?
Hugh: Uhhh, we've got glowstone as well. What should we get?
Mo: Uh, Netherwarts.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: DUDE! Aaaah!
Some ore exploded on Mo.
Dylan: Heh.
Mo: All the food is poison.
Dylan: Heh heh. Alright you know what, I'm gonna try, I'm gonna mine all of this here, let's see.
Mo: It's gonna blow up on you. Maybe it's just my pickaxe has a blowup enchantment even though I have never enchanted it.
Dylan: Oh my God it did explode!
Mo: See?
Hugh: I saw that.
Mo: Oh gosh, it like expanded the explosion over here somehow.
Dylan: Heh heh.
Hugh: I love this, cause I can't dig anything cause I don't have a pickaxe.
Dylan: Isn't Hugh- Hugh's gonna be digging once and he's just gonna explode. Heh!
Mo: You were back at the house.
Dylan: He's not even gonna like dig stuff up he's gonna explode randomly.
Hugh: Heh.
Mo: Hugh, you went back to the house for like an hour, and you couldn't make a pick?
Hugh: I didn't think of making a pick.
Mo: Why didn't you think of making a pick?
Hugh: Cause it never crossed my mind.
Mo: Did it cross your other parts?
Dylan: Where's the portal?
Mo: Uh I have no idea, we're gonna make a new one though. Let's just go this way guys, come follow me to explorations.
Hugh: Follow the Yellow Brick Mo.
Dylan: You know what this Nether is? The Nether's like Minesweeper.
Mo: Oh I think it is. Yeah, cause you're mining ores and then it randomly blows up. You find the one that blows up amongst the vein. That is true.
Hugh: It's kind of fun watching you guys like risk it for blowing up, this is so funny.
Mo: But it doesn't hurt you. Oh dude there's Nether soul sand. I haven't even seen any soul sand, this is literally the first soul sand I've seen.
Dylan: Cause you ain't got no soul.
Hugh: You ain't got no soul boi! Yeah, Dylan, how'd you like that? Wassup? Wassup? You gotta love that! I was gonna Parkour it anyway.
Dylan: I was helping you, I was doing a boost jump over there.
Mo: What did you do? I didn't see what you did.
Dylan: I hit him, and he didn't go into the lava.
Hugh: It was amazing!
Mo: It was like Lord of the Rings.
Hugh: I was gonna Parkour something, and as I jump, he hits me. And- aw you dick!
Mo: See what you don't understand is this was like the recreation of The Lord of the Rings. Where Dylan in this case would be Legolas or whoever threw him across.
Dylan: I've never watched Lord of the Rings. Hey Mo, look at Hugh.
Hugh was standing on a floating Netherrack island and below him was a giant sea of lava!
Mo: OK, so Hugh, you're Gimli the dwarf. You have to make it across by jumping.
Hugh: OK.
Mo: You're not gonna make it, I guarentee you you're not gonna make it.
Dylan: I guarentee it too.
Mo: OK, he's cheating, this is not good.
Hugh: I'm not cheating, this is how you do!
Hugh started building a bridge back to shore.
Mo: Oh Dylan. OK...
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Watch this, we're gonna do this, this is gonna be peaceful.
Hugh: Dylan's waiting for me.
Mo: Oh no there's coal here, it's gonna blow up on me. That would not be good cause I'd fall in lava.
Dylan: OK Hugh, everyone just stop. Everyone just stop.
Mo: No we're gonna make it across over there where those nice pigmen are.
Dylan: OK we're gonna do it by like, normal ways.
Continued in Chapter 19!
________________________________________________
Chapter 19
Bridge of Doom
________________________________________________
Current Date: November 14th 2012
Days Stranded: 99
Last time on Tekkit, our heroes explored more of the Nether. We also finally got an anime reference last chapter! Yay! And now we rejoin them at the sea of lava!
Mo: OK, so before we do any of this, I'm gonna make a chest.
Hugh: Dylan, you wanna know the really bad thing?
Dylan: You don't have anymore?
Hugh: Don't hit me and I promise you.
Mo: Oh God, I don't wanna fall.
Hugh: Now look at how it happens, alright thanks cause I was gonna fall from damage. But-
YOSHITOMARIO WAS KILLED BY JETHROTEX!
Mo: Ooohhh, come on guys.
Dylan: I didn't hit you! I swear that was not my fault actually.
Mo: So whose fault was it?
Dylan: You know, my sword arm has a mind of its own. Sorry, that was not my fault.
Hugh: Y'all certain?
Dylan: Yeah, but my sword arm acted without my consent.
Mo: What?
Dylan: OK Hugh do not teleport, do not teleport. Cause we're on a one-
Mo: Oh yeah don't teleport on me, you can teleport on Dylan if you want.
Dylan: OK I'm like, I'm safe here, just teleport to me.
Hugh: Cool.
Mo: Do you see what I'm doing?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo was building a thin bridge to get across the sea of lava.
Mo: OK...
Then Hugh teleported on Mo!
Mo: Oh! OK thanks.
Hugh: Hohohoho!
Dylan: You're an idiot! You're an idiot!
Hugh: Hahahaha!
Mo: Thanks.
Hugh: I had to try it.
Mo: Thanks for that, that was really nice.
Hugh: No worries, it helped you out!
Mo: Alright, now here, take these Nether bricks and now you can continue the work cause I don't want to. Do it! No, continue the work!
Dylan: Please stop.
Hugh placed a bed down.
Dylan: No you idiot! Beds explode!
Hugh: I know.
Mo: Ooooooohhh...
Hugh: I'm in a really trolling mood today!
Mo hit the bed and it exploded! Now they were stranded!
Dylan: Thank you, I'm like...
Mo: Hehehe, guess what?
Dylan: I can't get over there.
Mo: Hey Hugh.
Hugh: Nice.
Mo: We're stranded.
Hugh: Sexy.
Mo: Hahahahaha! Hehehe.
And then the rest of the bridge they were on exploded!
YOSHITOMARIO WAS BLOWN TO BITS!
Mo: OH NONONONO! GUYS GUYS GUYS NO! NONONO! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!
Dylan: Oh my God!
Mo: Oh God...
Dylan: OK Mo- oh crap, oh my God.
Mo: Everything is lost, I hope you understand.
Dylan: Nonono, I can like- ahhh I can't do anything.
Mo: No you can't, you can't do anything. Why?! Why?! Why?!
Dylan: OK Mo what you have to do is get back in the fan fiction and really quickly put us back in the script.
Mo: If I lose all of this, out trip to the Nether was completely useless!
Hugh: I know. I didn't mean for that to happen.
Dylan: Yeah you did!
Mo: Yeah you did! You placed a bed in the Nether!
Hugh: So look, I'm gonna get everything typed out now that I need to type in. You log in, and I'll press Enter the moment I see your name come up.
Mo: Ready?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: I'm gonna do it on Go, OK?
Hugh: Yeah OK.
Mo: 3... 2... 1... GOGOGOGOGOGOGO! Yes! Ohohohoho...
Hugh: Wooo-hooo!
Mo: Oh Gosh, hahahahahahahah...
Hugh: Did you save it? Nice. Heheheheh.
Dylan: This is like, you know when you have a bomb and you have to cut one of the wires but you have to replace the wire or something? Oh nononono, you know like in Indiana Jones where you like... now I can't get over there.
Mo: OK Dylan, I'm gonna be very careful about this, and just hope Hugh doesn't place a bed!
Hugh: I don't have anymore beds. Haha.
Dylan: I would love to be careful about this, but there's a ghast that might shoot me at anytime.
Mo: Seriously?
Dylan: Yeah I saw him.
Mo: Thank God I left the script, jeez, that would have sucked. I'm gonna make this a double bridge so it's even safer.
Hugh: Yeah you left the script like perfectly.
Dylan: Oh God.
Hugh: Props for quick thinking.
Mo: I hate you.
Dylan: And this is the guy you want on Race for Wool instead of me?
Mo: Hehehehe... hey Dylan you made it.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Let's leave now please.
Dylan: Hugh please move.
Mo: OK you guys stay all the way back there, I'm gonna finish this bridge. That was so cheap! You know what, if this was... that was cheap! I know people are gonna complain about that, but screw you!
Dylan: Yeah, it was Hugh's fault. It's not Mo or I, it's just Hugh. He even put in the command to make Mo blow.
Hugh: Yeah that was me.
The 3 of them finally made it across the sea of lava!
Hugh: Oh God they're attacking me!
Dylan: Good.
Mo: Yeah you deserve it. Screw you.
Dylan: Yeah I'm just gonna walk past this.
Mo: I'm just gonna let you die.
Dylan: Oh my God he's coming at me!
Mo: Yeah they're not coming at me, they like me, unlike you idiots.
Dylan: Probably they're Puerto Rican, you know, cause zombies are mostly Spanish.
Mo: Oh no those are real zombies, these are pigmen.
Dylan: Mo Mo Mo.
Mo: Pigs are Canadian as pooteen. Pooteen is Canadian. Dylan, didn't you make a nice pig tender loin? And that's why they hate you.
Dylan: Oh OK, actually that's understandable. I did make a wonderful pork tender loin wrapped in bacon.
Mo: Yes, that is double the pig. And you wonder why they're killing you.
Hugh: Dylan's one of them cooking people.
Mo: You mean woman.
Dylan: Shut up!
Mo: That was... OK. So now if we didn't have any female readers- OK they're totally gone now!
Dylan: Dude, you killed them all off.
Mo: OK, ready for this one?
Hugh: Drove the last one away, the one who was pretty butch anyway.
Mo: Wow.
Dylan: Wow! OK if you didn't like take that like, Hugh took away the residual females!
Hugh: Hehehe!
Mo: Alright! Thank you female readers for reading! Uh...
Dylan: Dude, the transvestites are gone too!
Hugh: Love you guys!
Mo: I'll be understanding if you don't want to read this anymore. What if there's one feminist reader? Hahaha! Like, "Fuck these men!" *said in a girly voice*
Dylan: Hey look a gold sword.
Mo: "Men are dirty pigs!" *said in a girly voice*
Hugh: Quite literally.
Dylan: Stop mining, it's gonna explode.
Mo: I don't care, the explosion doesn't hurt you, beds hurt you. Thanks Hugh, Bed-Exploding-Master-Flex. Oh a ghast! How is it doing?
Hugh: How are you Mr. Ghast?
Mo: It's hiding above this rock. I'm gonna hunt some more. Don't we need ghast tears? They're always so far though, how do we get up there?
Dylan: They always teleport far away. Let's like, let's mine through this for like a good while, and like, start to move far away.
Mo: Mine through what?
Dylan: By the way just so you know, the reason why you couldn't find the Nether portal was cause I broke it.
Mo: What do you mean?
Dylan: All of it.
Hugh: Oh you're a dick.
Dylan: Remember when I said I wasn't like there, I was-
Hugh: Aw you douche!
Mo: Oh no. Ahhh! Help! Help! Help! Help! Guys?
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Help.
Dylan: Mo run this way, you're supposed to kite them over.
Mo: I am.
Dylan: Remember, you can hit back the-
Mo: Yeah I know, that's how I killed one earlier. Oh God I hit it! I knocked back its thing at it. Aaah it's dead!
Dylan: Aaah.
Mo: AAAAAEEEEE! That's ghast sounds.
Dylan: Alright let's go mine through here for a while. Hugh move, I'm trying to mine.
YOSHITOMARIO TRIED TO SWIM IN LAVA!
Mo: He tried to swim in lava.
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: I know, it wasn't a smart idea.
Mo: Did you even have anything?
Hugh: No, like Netherrack and that's it.
Mo: Ah, I see that you suck at Tekkit.
Dylan: See this is the guy you want on Race for Wool and not me? The guy who's never died at all? Maybe if you didn't hit them in the first place they wouldn't be aggroed onto you.
Mo: Well I didn't it was freaking Hugh!
Hugh: I didn't hit them.
Mo: Yeah you did, you were the first one to hit them. Cause they were aggroed on you in the very beginning. You know what, we're gonna go back to chapter whatever, 1.
Dylan: 17.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Dylan.
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Are you trying to tell me what chapter of MY series we're at?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Oh God! I need help. Oh no.
Dylan: Mo it's not your series, it's ours. Except for Hugh.
Mo: No it's mine, it's totally mine.
Dylan: Stop hitting them.
Mo: I'm not!
Dylan: Look at how many zombie pigmen there are here, you can't win.
Mo: They keep hitting me first, so what did I do? See look, this guy's coming at me.
Dylan: You gotta be the good guy, you gotta like... you can't just...
Mo: Look at this, there's so many of them! Why is my bow not doing anymore damage to them either?
Dylan: Probably cause you suck.
Mo: OK well we should get in this fortress and hide.
Dylan: I'm making a staircase.
Mo: Can we get in this fortress and hide?
Dylan: I'm making a staircase up, Mo.
Mo: Dylan?
Dylan: Wow, they're all just taking a lava bath. There's like 8 of them.
Mo: 8 what?
Dylan: 8 zombie pigmen, just look at that, Mo.
Mo: Oh God, OK this one's still hitting me. Oh no they're coming! Hugh? Hugh?
Hugh: Yes?
Mo: They're coming. In your eye. Oh God I almost fell!
Hugh: That was close.
Mo: Why is there so much dirt here? Is that natrually there?
Hugh: I think Dylan put that there.
Mo: Why?
Dylan: Yeah, I'm making a staircase upwards.
Hugh: You're making us turkey?
Dylan: A staircase. Upwards.
Hugh: Oh.
Mo: Do zombie pigmen die in lava?
Hugh: No.
Mo: They don't?
Hugh: I don't think they do, no.
Mo: But they're pigs.
Hugh: I know, but they're zombies.
Mo: I hope they drop some nice roast.
Hugh: They're kind of already dead. Uh, what's this staircase lead up to?
Dylan: Maybe there's something up here.
Hugh: Oh I see it, OK.
Dylan: That isn't lava, that isn't lava.
Mo: Is this Netherrack lapis? OK I'm coming up. Why are there so many gold nuggets? What do they do?
Dylan: Lots of things.
Mo: Such as?
Dylan: Magic.
Mo: Are they like chicken nuggets?
Dylan: Yeah, except less fat.
Hugh: You can put one as a tooth, and look like a tool.
Mo: We're supposed to be heading towards the fortress, Dylan.
Dylan: Don't worry, we'll find something up this way.
Mo: No we won't.
Dylan: You obviously don't understand.
Mo: I do understand.
Dylan: My pickaxe broke.
Mo: I understand that you're going the wrong way. See?
Dylan: Don't worry.
Mo: So fast, so easy. Just come over here.
Dylan: No, you know what, I'm gonna find something, and I'm gonna put a portal here.
Hugh: Hahahahahaha, look at how high he's got to go up! Mo.
Mo: What?
Hugh: Look at how far left he has to go.
Mo: Hahahahaha!
Hugh: Hehe.
Dylan: Shut up.
Hugh: That's pretty fun.
Mo: Hey Dylan.
Dylan: Yeah?
Hugh: Hahahaa!
Mo: I suggest a different path. Why is there cobblestone here? That means someone must have been here.
Dylan: Yeah that was Hugh.
Mo: Like just now or when?
Dylan: Remember when he swam in lava?
Mo: Ah, so this happened earlier.
Dylan: How high do I have left to go? Please like give me an estimate, like how many blocks? 30 maybe?
Mo: Like, 500.
Hugh: No, honestly, about 64.
Dylan: Oh OK, I'm okay with this.
Mo: You shouldn't be. Hey look, over here. There's stuff.
Dylan: God, you guys are like finding stuff, and I'm just like digging this staircase.
Hugh: Were going on an adventure.
Dylan: No, when I start it I'm gonna finish it.
Mo: Hey, do you have the obsidian by chance, Dylan?
Dylan: Yeah I do.
Mo: We kind of need it.
Dylan: OK.
Mo: We need to head back.
Hugh: Are we heading back now, are we finishing off our session?
Mo: Yeah, we need to go back, Kate.
Dylan: Not until I finish this.
Mo: Jack, we must go back.
Hugh: Dylan, if you try and finish that, we're gonna be here for like half an hour!
Dylan: Really?
Mo: Yeah.
Hugh: Yes.
Mo: It's actually gonna take an hour.
Dylan: I have finished it!
Hugh: No way.
Dylan: I just finished it.
Hugh: OK I wanna go see this.
Mo: I wanna go see it too. I wanna ignore this- that zombie pigman totally ignored you and came onto me! What the hell!
Dylan: This is because you've been fighting them for the past while.
Mo: They don't get hurt by lava apparently.
Dylan: Hey guys.
Mo: Hugh, how are you like still not even remotely up?
Dylan: Where are you guys?
Hugh: What do you mean?
Dylan: I'm putting dirt down, I don't have enough dirt anymore.
Mo: I just fought off 2 pigmen, and we're still not even close baby. TM.
Dylan: Heeeeey!
Hugh: OK the only reason you got up this side was cause you found a random tunnel.
Mo: Yeah, you're not actually out of here.
Dylan: Shut up.
Mo: Oh God, look at this, this is pretty cool looking.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Alright I say we make this our Nether base. And uh...
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: I'm down for that.
Mo: Alright so let's... Dylan hand me the obsidian.
Dylan: Um, I'll make it.
Mo: Make it up here.
Dylan: I got my stairs for that, so we can just run up it instead of like...
Mo: Ah.
Dylan: Let's make it right here, Mo. We'll make this the basement right down here.
Hugh: Guys, I fell down.
Dylan: Yeah, that's kind of assumed.
Mo: Dylan where are you going?
Dylan: I'll make it down here, is this okay?
Mo: Just do it wherever, jeez.
Dylan: OK, let me just put fences.
Mo: Why is there like a jet-shaped hole in here?
Dylan: I'll put wood so that everyone knows where the hell this like thing is.
Mo: I don't wool, I want you.
Dylan: I said wood- Awwwww that's cute.
Continued in Chapter 20!
________________________________________________
Chapter 20
No Place Like Home
________________________________________________
Current Date: November 20th 2012
Days Stranded: 105
Last time on Tekkit, Hugh ruined everything with a bed! And now, let's rejoin our heroes as they try to leave the Nether...
Dylan: Yay we have another portal!
Mo: Alright we'll all go through it together, wait for me. Wait for me, we'll all go through together.
Hugh: K.
Mo: Ready? We're just 3 boys~ And let's go! Come on, go in.
Hugh: Yay.
Dylan: Yay.
Mo: Oh my God, you're not even letting me get in here.
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: You pushed me out.
Mo: I hate you. I'm gonna go in.
Hugh: OK I'm in.
Dylan: Alright.
The 3 of them entered the portal expecting to get back home, but what awaited them was nothing they would ever expect...
Mo: I'm already out. Oh my God we are in a cave.
Hugh: What?!
Mo: Hahahaha!
Hugh: No way!
Dylan: There's water.
Mo: This was totally unexpected!
Dylan: Dude! Oh never mind that's not diamonds.
Hugh: I thought that was diamonds.
Dylan: Oh hey there's creepers.
Mo: Oh hey why are we in a cave? We're under the ocean! Look at your minimaps!
Dylan: What? Holy crap this is so cool!
Mo: This sucks! This is so bad, we're never going to make it back home!
Dylan: I like how you're the pessimist, you're like this sucks, and I'm like this is so cool.
Mo: We're not gonna make it back home!
Dylan: OK, our only chance is to find the Nether portal that I broke. And by Nether portal that I broke, I meant that I took every single piece of obsidian off of it so we can never find it.
Hugh: You're kidding.
Mo: Oh God...
Hugh: Dick!
Mo: I think we can make it.
Hugh: I'm gonna come down this way then and find some diamonds.
Dylan: I can probably salvage this.
Mo: We gotta go back to the chapter where you told me the coordinates of the house.
Dylan: Nonono not the coordinates of the house.
Hugh: Why don't we just kill ourselves and spawn at the house?
Dylan: Dude, oh my God, we're so far from the house! The house was like negative 500 or something, we're at positive 1500.
Hugh: No...
Mo: Really?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: We're going back in the Nether.
Dylan: Yeah, we are.
Mo: Come on.
Dylan: It's pretty easy to find.
Mo: We're gonna try to find our way back.
Hugh: Oh my God.
Dylan: OK, what we're gonna do is we're gonna like, we're gonna put a path so that we know how to go from where to where.
The 3 of them went throught the portal again and into the Nether once more!
Mo: OK well this doesn't work, so we're gonna make our way back through your stupid little tunnel.
Dylan: Right.
Hugh: Well though to be fair, that's so awesome that we spawned one in a cave.
Dylan: Yeah, so we can just go like back and forth, alright here, the stairs are over here Mo.
Hugh: Yeah, and that's gonna be a really far-away cave so it's gonna be loads of new materials.
Dylan: Alright, I'm gonna keep using this wood to like try and give us a path.
Mo: OK so which way is ours? OK so down here.
Dylan: I made like, dirt blocks so that you can see where to go. So let's find... oh God, I wish I could break these so I can stop hitting my head.
Mo: I wish that too, but yeah, I'm hitting my head pretty hard here.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: I have a helmet on, I mean, that's good, cause obviously when you were wearing a helmet, it's easier to watch Dora videos.
Dylan: Shut up.
Hugh: Heh.
Dylan: OK, so anyways, um, see you can just follow these dirt blocks.
Mo: Did you know I was going there?
Dylan: Yeah I knew.
Mo: I kinda saw that you knew I was going there.
Dylan: Yeah I kind of did.
Mo: Hey I need some food, I'm gonna die.
Dylan: I have some.
Mo: Guys we're gonna die out here.
Dylan: I'm just eating pork in front of these guys.
Hugh: We are gonna die out here.
Mo: Give me! Give me! No we're gonna make it back, don't worry.
Dylan: Yeah don't worry, I actually know where we're going.
Hugh: Oh my God, insanely big lava.
Dylan: Just run. Get out of my you pigmen, oh my God. Hugh I can't run through this guy!
Hugh: Do you want me to hit him and just drag him through the whole tunnel?
Dylan: No.
Mo: No, just leave him alone. Just go past them, look. You can run right through him, he doesn't hurt you.
Dylan: I can't, I'm stuck, look!
Mo: Just run right through him, dude.
Dylan: Oh there we go, finally.
Hugh: I'm pushing him this way, there we go.
Mo: Just 3 boys in a tunnel~
Dylan: Heh. Stop. Mo seriously, Mo stop.
Mo kept closing the tunnel path with Netherrack.
Mo: Dylan stop.
Dylan: Mo stop!
Mo: Hee hee hee hee...
Hugh: Oh God dammit. You've got a pickaxe Dylan, so you go to work.
Dylan: Alright, you hit me.
Hugh: I can be here with my bow to whip you into shape.
Dylan: Can you seriously please stop closing the tunnel? This is obnoxious. Holy crap Mo!
Mo broke through a wall, and saw pigmen staring at him with vicious intent!
Mo: Oh my God! Hahahahahahahaha! Hahahahah! Dylan look over there!
Dylan: What?
Mo: Look at the end of the tunnel.
Dylan: Oh my God.
Mo: Just make sure you break the block and don't freaking hit them! Oh God you did it!
Dylan: They're already aggroed, they're already aggroed.
Mo: You did it, you did it. Oh my God you shouldn't have broken the block! Back off back off! Dylan Dylan Dylan! Walk through me, I got them!
Dylan: OK.
Mo: OK we're good.
Dylan: Alright you guys are idiots.
Hugh: Oh my God!
Dylan: Sigh...
Mo: OH NO!
More pigmen were outside to greet them with massacre!
Hugh: Hahaha!
Mo: OK OK, run run run run run run! I'm gonna run from these guys now!
Dylan: Hugh, sigh...
Hugh: Dylan you gotta hit them out.
Mo: I'm good guys, I saved myself.
Hugh: Good job.
Mo: I saved myself from the forces of evil.
Dylan: Holy-
Mo: Guys? Hi. Dylan Dylan come up here Dylan Dylan! Dylan!
Dylan: Where are you?
Mo: I'm over here, you don't see me do you.
Dylan: No.
Mo: You know you have like 20 of them behind you.
Dylan: Yeah I'm gonna die too.
Mo: Nononono, keep running!
Hugh: I'm crossing the bridge now.
Mo: Dylan you didn't even go to the bridge.
Dylan: Oh my God. Sh-
YOSHITOMARIO WAS SLAIN BY A ZOMBIE PIGMAN!
Mo: Dylan Dylan Dylan! OK you're not dead, Dylan.
Hugh: Damn! I died!
Mo: Where'd you go? Where'd you go?
Dylan: I'm like at the edge.
Mo: Dude just go to the bridge! If I fall off...
Hugh: A zombie pigman got me.
Mo: Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus! OH JESUS! No! No! Noo!
Dylan: Log out. Oh my God! They pushed me into lava!
Mo: I don't wanna die, just log off!
Hugh: Heh heh heh...
Dylan: This is so stupid...
Mo: Thank you guys for reading this chapter of Tekkit.
Dylan: I'm just mad now.
Mo: We'll let you know when we make our way back home. Bye.
Dylan: I hate you guys.
Some time later...
Mo: Hello.
Dylan: Hi sir, hi.
Mo: Hi.
Dylan: Hi.
Hugh: Hey.
Mo: We made it to the portal somehow.
Dylan: And we also put wood.
Mo: Yeah, so now we know how to get back to places. Cause Dylan was dumb and like destroyed the portal before. So...
Hugh: It was all good.
Mo: The wonderful Hugh Murrell offered my guidance cause he didn't even know how to do it. Um, he died. So he came back home, made a nice portal, and everyone was just circle jerkin'.
Hugh: Pretty much. It was one big masturbatory session.
Mo: It's a giant circle jerk, just like our house is. Oh hey zombie pigman. Hugh, your skin is strangely similar to the zombie pigman.
Hugh: You know I'm kinda tired of the Nether, should we go home for a bit?
Dylan: That's a good idea.
Mo: Yeah we should. Anyway, yeah, we put um, wood that leads back to...
Hugh: This blaze.
Dylan: It's a good thing these things can just light on fire though.
Mo: Yeah.
YOSHITOMARIO WAS FIREBALLED BY A BLAZE!
Hugh: Fuck!
Mo: Are you kidding me? You suck. OK let's go, Dylan. Dylan come with me, we'll go see a place called Candy Island!
Dylan: Just 2 boys, and a girl~ With a demonic-
Mo and Dylan entered the portal, and they finally made it back home!
Mo: Could you imagine if we came back and our house was just burned down?
Dylan: Heh.
Hugh: Oh God.
Mo: That would suck.
Dylan: What happened to all of the glass?
Mo: Uh, Hugh happened.
Hugh: What?
Mo: Remember? It's Halloween, so uh...
Hugh: Dude I didn't do anything!
Mo: Wait so all of the glass is actually gone!
Dylan: All the glass is gone!
Hugh: Hahahahaha!
Mo: What?!
Hugh: What the hell?
Mo: All the glass is poison!
Dylan: Heh heh!
Mo: Wait nonono, yeah! All the glass is actually gone!
Dylan: Dude my greenhouse!
Hugh: HAHAHA!
Mo: Look! All the glass is actually gone!
Hugh: What the hell! Hahahaha!
Dylan: Does this happen every time we go to the Nether?
Mo: All the glass just disappears every time we go to the Nether!
Dylan: What the hell?
Hugh: Heh hahahah!
Dylan: OK wait wait wait, let's try this. OK so I'm gonna put a brick of glass here. I'm gonna fill in this window.
Mo: I'm pretty sure we all have to go to the Nether though, for it to work.
Dylan: OK let's all go to the Nether.
Mo: Yeah let's test this.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: This is strange, it's a mystery, we should call Nancy Drew. Or Archie.
Dylan: Wait let me see what happens when just Mo goes.
Mo: Nothing's gonna happen.
Dylan: Just Mo please.
Mo went into the Nether.
Mo: Just Mo goes.
Dylan: Yeah! They all just- HUGH!!!
Mo: What?
Dylan: Hugh broke it!
Hugh: I didn't do anything.
Dylan: K Hugh, go to the Nether.
Hugh: OK.
Mo went back into the portal to the house.
Dylan: I hate you, you broke it, you just broke the glass.
Mo: What do you mean?
Dylan: I just saw Hugh breaking the glass. Yeah, see?
Hugh: I'm back from the Nether, what happened? Oh shit the glass is gone dude! This is insa- why are you hitting me?
Mo: I don't understand.
Hugh: Why?
YOSHITOMARIO WAS KILLED BY JETHROTEX!
Mo: Dylan.
Dylan: I don't wanna write this fan fiction anymore.
Mo: Dylan. Dylan?
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Do the sign.
Mo and Dylan both strike anime poses while holding their sword like a badass.
Mo: Heheheh... We're done. We're done, this is done. I hate this.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: OK, anyway... I don't know what we do with all of this Nether shit, but... um...
Hugh: We need to figure out the Nether, yeah.
Mo: We need more chests to put all of this Nether shit in it.
Hugh: We do. Why don't you create a new spot for it.
Mo: I don't have space, cause glass is broken. You suck. I hate you.
Hugh: Love you too baby.
Mo: I hate you. You broke literally every single piece of glass! Literally! Every single piece of glass in the whole house!
Hugh: Hehehehe, you gotta admit, it's kind of funny.
Mo: Alright, I wish these chests would organize- oh there we go. They do organize themselves, how nice.
Dylan started putting things that didn't belong in that chest category.
Mo: That doesn't go in there! What are you doing?! Why?! Why do you suck?! Do you read this? It says: "Ingots and Ores". Dylan, I wanna show you something. Something you just put in here, OK?
Dylan: Heh.
Mo: I wanna show you it, just give me a second. Dylan what does this look like to you?
Dylan: Heheheh.
Mo: Dylan what does this look like to you?
Dylan: It looks-
Mo: I'll place it down, what does that look like to you, Dylan?
Hugh: Heh!
Dylan: It looks- it looks like a stone brick.
Mo: Dylan... DOES IT LOOK LIKE AN INGOT OR AN ORE?
Dylan: Theoretically, marble could be considered an ore by putting it in a brick floor.
Mo: DYLAN!!! DOES IT LOOK LIKE IT'S A- GAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Hugh: Heh.
Dylan: Heh.
Mo: ...You like marble blocks, don't you? You like em', don't you?
Hugh: You know you love me.
Dylan: Not even remotely. Stop like replying with that, that pisses me off.
Mo: Well look in there now! OK? You're welcome.
Dylan: Hehehe, what the hell did you- what did you do to get all that EMC?
Mo: I put an axe. I put an axe, OK?
Dylan: Holy crap, dude!
Mo: Oh yeah, you see your crops? Not anymore! Freaking asshole!
Dylan: Stop breaking our food source!
Mo: Well learn how to freaking sort chests! Jesus! God...
Dylan: There's a creeper near you.
Mo: Oh my God! Hahahaha!
Dylan: I hate you! This was my pride and joy and you just broke it!
Mo: Yeah? You might as well learn how to sort the freaking chest you idiot! God... and there you go. Dylan.
Hugh: Welcome to Tekkit.
Mo: Dylan where are you?
Dylan: What...? I'm trying to get some dirt to fix this.
Mo: I'm gonna give you a gift.
Dylan: Ah, another explosion.
Mo: Ah, this time it was Hugh.
Hugh: My bad.
Mo: I understand that Hugh is in uh, not the greatest position with you. Dylan? Dylan can you turn around?
Dylan: No.
Mo: Come on! Just give me a second!
Dylan: I have to fix this cause you guys are morons.
Mo: Dude just give me a second! Look... here. Here, stop. Here.
Dylan: Stop hitting me!
Mo: There you go, it's a flower for you.
Dylan: Oh, OK.
Mo: Dylan...
Dylan: I'll plant it right over here, alright? On our broken bed of crap.
Mo: I'll plant it right over- oh my God what is he doing?
Dylan: Is he breaking more of the glass?
Mo: No. He's gonna die to a creeper.
Dylan: Good.
Mo: It's gonna blow! Aaaah- I killed it.
Hugh: Nice.
Mo: Alright, so this has been a great chapter of the fan fiction. Lots of marble was created. Now creatures just randomly get inside of our house thanks to the fact that we have no glass.
Hugh: Hehehehehaha!
Mo: Uh, lots was accomplished, a lot.
Hugh: Clearly.
Mo: And uh, off script, I'll be trying to fix the chest. So thank you all for reading.
Hugh: Just know I'll fix the glass.
Dylan: I hate you.
Mo: Dylan will be fixing his greenhouse.
Dylan: I hate you.
Mo: So hopefully that will be fixed. And uh, I will attempt to get a nice painting here on our wall.
Hugh: Sounds fun.
Mo: So thank you all for joining us. Aw damn it, there it was! There was a nice painting and I put it in the wrong place. I'm just gonna let you die to this zombie.
Hugh: I thought it was Dylan.
Mo: I can't even pick up this painting. I'm pretty sure you picked it up.
Hugh: No I don't have it.
Mo: Alright. Alright. Alright! I'm done! I'm done! I'm done. ...Bye.
Continued in Chapter 21!
________________________________________________
Chapter 21
The Legend of Spunkman
________________________________________________
Current Date: April 30th 2013
Days Stranded: 266
Last time on Tekkit, our heroes made it out of the Nether after some fumbling around. But then they found out Hugh broke all of the glass in the house, so Hugh got the beating he deserved! Now, 5 months later, things at the house are looking different... Mo and Hugh both turned 18 years old also. (Also at this point they have their original clothes back on.)
It was a stormy night, Mo was running through the forest breathing heavily. He ran, and ran, until he made it to the front door of his house.
Mo: Wait... These trees... I recognize these trees. I've been here before... Oh God... I know this house.
Mo walked up to the windows and peered inside.
Mo: Hello? Anybody here? I'm just gonna go right in then...
Dylan: Hi~
Mo: W-Who said that?! Dylan?
Mo looked up, and saw Dylan looking at him through the glass ceiling!
Dylan: Hi.
Mo: Oh no...
Hugh: Hey sexy~
Mo: Oh no...
Mo turned behind him, and saw Hugh standing in front of the door Mo walked in!
Mo: Oh God! Uuhhhhh...
Hugh: I've been waiting a long time for youse to come back! Whatchu goin' gurl!
Mo: This is all just a bad dream...
Hugh: Get back here and gimme yo sugar daddy a hug!
Mo ran up to the second floor, and onto the balcony.
Mo: Oh God! Jump!
Mo jumped from the balcony into the lake!
Mo: Aaaaahhhhhh... Oh God... K... I made it... I think I'm safe. Oh! Oh Jesus.
Mo saw Dylan and Hugh at the balcony looking around for him.
Mo: Do they see me? Hello?
Hugh: Hey.
Dylan: You're a really bad voice actor.
Mo: I'm not a voice actor.
Dylan: You're acting terribly.
Hugh: What are you talking about? This is completely sold.
Mo: I wasn't acting, this is for real.
Dylan: Oh, okay.
Mo: How are you guys do- oh look a creeper.
Dylan: Good.
Mo: How are you Mr. Creep? Ohoho look a spider!
Hugh: I need to find you.
Mo: Ohohoho look a spider!
Mo started running back to the house.
Dylan: Yeah I don't think it was a really good idea to start this at night.
Hugh: Heh heh.
Mo: It's a good idea Dylan. Welcome back to Tekkit! I have missed it, maybe you have missed it, Yoshi has obviously missed it.
Hugh: I've missed it a lot.
Dylan: I feel bad for all of those little kids who keep like mentioning comments. Like, "I read the entire series 4 times! Why aren't you making more?!"
Mo: Well here's some more. We're now back, it's Season 2.
Mo made it inside without a scratch on him.
Mo: And... where'd you guys go? What the?! Where did you guys go?!
Dylan: I'm here.
Hugh: Wooooooooooo~
Mo: Wha? Why are you on the roof?
Hugh: We are ghosts!
Dylan: Where'd you go?
Mo: I'm r- wh- are- are you serio- are you dodg-
Dylan: Mo we're playing Ring Around the Rosy!
Mo: Hello? Dylan?
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Hi.
Dylan: Ahehehehehheh.
Mo: How are you- hahahahahah.
Dylan: I'm OK.
Mo: Alright so we should probably have a nap.
Hugh: Yay!
Mo: Um, let's have a nap first of all, let's just have a nap.
Hugh: OK.
Mo: I call painting room! Hahaha!
Dylan: No!
Hugh: No!
Dylan: What are you doing?! No!
Hugh: It's not even nighttime!
Mo: Oh wait what the heck?
Hugh: It's not nighttime.
Mo: Well I guess it became daytime fast enough.
Hugh: We can't sleep.
Mo: Alright, then we continue on in the rain. Can someone get this rain off? Someone?
Hugh: No.
Mo: Author?
OK, I'll turn the rain off.
Mo: Oh wow look at that! It worked. We have a guardian angel, thank you author!
No problem, bro.
Dylan: You're welcome.
Hugh: That's magical.
Dylan: That wasn't me.
Mo: Alright, welcome back! Uh, as you see, the house is a little different.
Dylan: Yeah.
They did a lot of house renovating! They actually built a fancy looking roof, they built a balcony on the second floor, and they made the first floor all pretty lookin'!
Mo: It's been a bit busy however.
Dylan: Yoshi put no effort into it.
Hugh: I did lots of things!
Dylan: He was busy sticking certain things into certain places.
Mo: Dylan this is not symmetrical, this is not symmetrical, Dylan.
Dylan: There are a lot of things that aren't symmertical and that bugs me.
Mo: Heh heh. Uh, so you'll notice- Hugh I need you, I need you.
Hugh: Where are you?
Mo: I'm right here.
Hugh: Ah hello.
Mo: So you'll see this uh, this cape on Hugh's back.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: Uh, nonono, wait wait wait, why don't we go to the basement and just get some of our stuff back?
Mo: What stuff? Ah, I see now, I understand what you were going for.
Dylan: Yeah, there you go.
In the basement, they made it larger! They expanded the basement to the left and right so they could put more chests and furnaces there. And they encased lava in the floor in see-through-glass, and on the walls too. Its purpose is to look cool I guess. And at the end of the hallway was a door of secrets!
Mo: Yeah, so you'll see this wonderfully revamped basement, it's got lava everywhere. Very safe in a wooden house.
Hugh: Oh yeah, I just want to break the glass.
Mo: Aw man, these items right here dude!
Dylan: Oh there are a lot.
Mo: Oh boy.
Hugh: Aw shit.
Mo: Heh heh heh.
All of the chests were empty! Nothing was in them, not even a crumb small for a mouse.
Dylan: So apparently, YoshitoMario is a wonderful person, and traded all of our items to become Spunkman! World of the Cape Master Lord people!
Hugh: Well look at the cape! Isn't it worth it?
Dylan: No.
Hugh: It is worth it!
Mo: So you had this fantasy of becoming a superhero? So he literally auctioned off all of our items in order to get this cape.
Dylan: So from now on YoshitoMario will be called Spunkman.
About the cape, it was a blue cape with a yellow pickaxe emblem engraved on it. Also am I the only one who wants to see Spunkman be in a Megaman game?
Hugh: That'll be my channel name too.
Mo: Hello Spunkman. Yeah, nickname yourself Spunkman, even though we never text so it doesn't even matter!
Dylan: Yoshi don't go through there, that's for a later day.
Mo: Um, but also before that happened, uh, we spent a little bit of time with home renovations. You'll see this wonderful, uh...
Dylan: When he says we, he means Mo and I.
Mo: Oh yeah, see, Hugh was off.. um...
Dylan: Being Spunkman and saving small children.
Hugh: Hey I have commitments!
Mo: With a comb in areas that we will not mention!
Hugh: I have commitments OK?
Dylan: You commited your thumb to your ass!
Mo: Oh God...
Dylan: Haha!
Hugh: There are lots of people, and lots of Spunk to be given, that's all I'm saying.
Mo: And so we're back! It's OK, everyone is happy.
Hugh: Aren't you glad this fan fiction is back?
Mo: Um, the greenhouse is finished. We have a wonderful farm of undisclosed wheat, this is wheat.
For the greenhouse, they encased it completely in glass, and made it larger.
Dylan: Uh yeah this is wheat, uh we asked Lil' Wayne to help us in our endeavors.
Mo: Lil' Wayne and other rappers.
Dylan: Lil' Toonshe!
I checked online and there's no rapper by the name of Lil' Toonshe.
Mo: Heheheh, aaaaah!
Dylan: Aaaaah!
Hugh: Aaaaah!
Dylan: Hehehe.
Mo: So, this is what we've been keeping up with, paying the rent and stuff. Actually we own this place, so...
Hugh: And then I went and sold everything else, but I think the cape was worth it!
Mo: Well...
Dylan: Yeah, not only did you get a cape, he also has the ability to Spunk everything.
Mo: I feel a little bit indifferently about that. We're not indifferent, but... I feel a little different to you from that.
Hugh: I bitch slap you!
Mo: I bitch slap you back!
Hugh: Well don't! I take damage!
Dylan: Alright, alright women, let's stop this.
Hugh: Hey! You're the biggest of them all! Go make me a sandwich!
Mo: Hey the last thing is this wonderful dock I created by myself, not Dylan cause he sucks.
The final thing is the dock, it was simple looking with some couches, and it was linked to the lake.
Dylan: Hey I was a part of this. I like how there's a chest that has no boats in it!
Mo: Oh yeah, all our boats were auctioned off too! You know...
Hugh: Dylan you did nothing.
Mo: The Slice of Life, and the... what are other boat names? The Searcher... um, The Mary Jane... and Ashley.
Dylan: Heh heh heh.
Hugh: The Voyager.
Mo: Anyway, shall we venture into adventures? Spunkman and Dylanboy.
The 3 of them went outside, and thus the adventure continues again!
Dylan: Don't forget our favorite, our favorite person.
Hugh: Oh OK, see, I was down about the name, but now that I know that Dylan is my lacking sidekick, I'm fine with that.
Mo: Gasp! Look Hugh! Hugh, look what's back!
They saw their old rubber trees with hardly any leaves on them!
Hugh: Lynching!
Dylan: Lynching?!
Mo: Lynching!
Dylan: I'm so happy.
Mo: What is that?
Hugh: Heheheh!
Mo: What is- Hahaha!
Hugh: Hahahaha!
Mo: The lynched trees, they're here still.
Hugh: I know. I'm gonna lynch way more, just a heads up.
Mo: Oh boy. So this is just the chapter in which we reminisce about things of the past.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: And Yoshi Spunks on people.
Mo: The fact that Hugh has destroyed all of our items because of his lack of... lacking.
Hugh: Ugh!
Dylan: Why do you keep hitting me?
Hugh: Dylan Dylan Dylan, get down one block, I've got something to show you.
Dylan: No! You're gonna Spunk on me!
Mo: I'll get down for you.
Hugh: This is my superpower.
Hugh started fapping!
Hugh: Hnnnnnnnnnnnngh! Uuuuuuuuuuuuh... OK I'm good.
Dylan: Tekkit everyone!
Mo then punched Hugh right in the balls!
Hugh: Hey!
Mo: Hahahahaha!
Hugh: Hahahaha!
Dylan: I'm not being a part of this.
Mo: So we need to basically restart. This is a new season, so I don't mind it as much, if it was like halfway through I'd be like you know what-
Dylan: I love how our last season ended on like nothing. No literally nothing cause the last 10 minutes were black!
Mo: Oh yeah! Hahahaha!
Dylan: Hahahaha!
Mo: Hahaha! The last 10 minutes of the season were black!
Dylan: Yeah cause you hit your phone and you just turned off your camera.
Mo: No I didn't it's um, it's- nevermind.
Dylan: No it wasn't, cause didn't you like, right before it happened, you were like hitting your- I dunno, whatever.
Mo: Point being is uh, our last adventure ended in us having nothing because of Hugh pawning off all our items! Haha!
Hugh: Pretty much.
Dylan: Let's break down some trees.
Mo: I'm pretty sure the Nether also resets, so eventually when we once again get to that, you know.
Hugh: So what are we trying to do today anyway Mo? This is your series, tell the bitches.
Dylan: Yoshi stop being so formal, Tekkit was never about that.
Hugh: I'm sorry.
Mo: Tekkit was about the informality Hugh.
Hugh: I forgot how these things worked.
Mo: Its been too long.
Dylan: Yeah clearly, when you spent hours upon hours sticking certain objects.
Mo: Alright Hugh, I'll remind you of how Tekkit works with a song! Ahahahaha!
Hugh: Oh okay.
Mo: Dylan you wanna do at this?
Dylan: Alright alright, what song are we doing?
Mo: Hugh, you know the song.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Ahem... Come here. Hugh stop digging a hole.
Hugh: Alright, I'm avidly listening.
Mo: Alright, so let me set a stage for you here. There's my stage of dirt. Ahem...
Mo pulled out his phone and played a CERTAIN song.
Mo: Swagger Jagger!
Hugh: AAAAAAAAARGH!
Mo: Swagger Jagger! You can get some of your own! Tell the game on! BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM!!!
Hugh: Aaaaaargh dude!
Mo: Ahahaha!
Dylan: Heh heh heh!
Hugh: I hate you guys! Why am I back here?!
Mo: Back where? Where are you?
Hugh: On the fan fiction! Why did I come back?!
Dylan: Yeah I asked you to come back.
Mo: Where are- oh to Tekkit?
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: Alright Yoshi, if you want some incentive to be back, just read all the comments of all the sad little children who want more Tekkit.
Hugh: No no, rephrase that. The sad little children who want more Yoshi!
Dylan: Are you kidding me? No one wants you!
Hugh: Guys, put it in the comments! We're keeping this in! Put it in the comments, how many of you want-
Dylan: A salami sandwich.
Mo: We're keeping this in as if you have any control over this! Ahahaha!
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: That's great! Ahahaha! OK, fair point.
Mo: Hahahahahahaha!
Hugh: Heheheheh!
Dylan: Mo, can you edit it later to be like, "How many of you guys want a salami sandwich?"
A few seconds ago...
Hugh: Put it in the comments! We're keeping this in! Put it in the comments!
Dylan: How many of you guys want a salami sandwich?
You're welcome. :D
Mo: Um, I can edit it to be exactly what you said.
Dylan: Oh OK.
Hugh: Hehehe.
Mo: Also why have I not made tools yet? I'm not even focusing at all on this, man.
Dylan: You have to cut down some wood, crat down some wood.
Mo: Crat down?
Hugh: Credit on Tekkit.
Mo: What? Yeah I don't know, I haven't even been like-
Dylan: Spunkman!
Hugh: Heh heh.
Mo: So we're just gonna get a bunch of wood, and then we'll head down into a cave. This'll be the extremely long let's go and set ourselves up again chapter.
Hugh: Pretty much.
Dylan: Dang. Wait wait, what is the Sailor Moon theme song go like again? Except we're going to change it from Sailor Moon to like Spunk Moon.
Hugh: Oh God.
Dylan pulls out his phone and plays the Sailor Moon theme song.
Mo: Spunking Spunk Spy Spunk~ Spunk~ Spunking Spunk Spy Spunk~
Dylan: Yoshi this is your fault, you're the one who started this.
Mo: Spunk will never Spunk a real Spunk~
Hugh: I'm not sure how I feel about this at all. You're making fun of my alias.
Mo: She's the one and only Spunk Man Spunk~ Is that it?
Dylan: What was that, Yoshi?
Hugh: You guys are blatantly making fun of my alias, I'm not sure how I feel about this.
Dylan: Yeah you know what? Maybe you shouldn't sell all our items.
Mo: To the White Market.
Hugh: I still think it was a good deal. That's all I'm saying. You guys get to hang out with someone with a cape.
Mo: Wait you already- oh my goodness look at what he's doing already. Look at this Dylan, unacceptable, what is this?
Hugh: What? I'm doing well!
Mo: Come over here and do this, do you see this?
Dylan: Oh my goodness you're making a Spunk Hole already?
Mo: Hahahahaha!
Dylan: Hahahaha!
Mo: Hahaha! Alright, at least now he can say: To the Spunk Cave!
Dylan: Haha!
Mo: Hahahaha! You know what I think I realized, Dylan?
Dylan: What?
Mo: We sealed up but we never got rid of the original Spunk Cave.
Dylan: Oh right, the Spunk Hole.
Mo: Maybe we'll revisit that.
Dylan: Hey Yoshi are you putting your thumb in your Spunk Hole?
Hugh: You know I am.
Mo: That's disgusting, Dylan.
Dylan: I'm so sorry.
Mo: Dylan look, flowers! I'm gonna give you some.
Dylan: Flounder!
Mo: Flounder the fish?
Dylan: Yeah. And Yoshi's Sebastion the crab while you're Ariel.
Mo: Here, have a beautiful flower.
Hugh: Heh heh. Why am I the crab? What the hell!
Dylan: Because I'm the cute-like Flounder kid.
Hugh: Dylan, nothing about you ain't cute.
Dylan: You clearly have not seen me in real life.
Hugh: I have, I saw you at PAX.
Mo: I'm coming down here. I'm coming down here.
Dylan: Yeah, yeah I saw you too, you're kinda greasy, so you can be the seafish.
Hugh: Greasy? Ugh!
Mo: Kinda greasy?
Dylan: You're pretty greasy.
Hugh: What the hell?
Mo: Spunkman! Spunkman turn around.
Hugh: Yo.
Mo: Here, I gave you a flower.
Dylan: Why did I come down here with you? It's so awkwardly- your holes are terrible!
Hugh: You gave me an indigo flower?
Mo: Yes.
Hugh: Thank you.
Mo: It's beautiful right?
Hugh: I love you for that.
Mo: I'm gonna actually help you mine here, have you gotten any coal yet Mister Spunkman?
Hugh: Uh I haven't got any coal, I have 8 iron and 4 copper, but no coal.
Mo: Wow, no coal? OK then I'm outta here. Hehehe.
Dylan: Yeah alright, let's just bounce.
Mo: We basically can't even see anything cause we got no torch- how did you place this torch? I thought this was a torch you were gonna use to buy a McChicken Double.
Hugh: No it was, I just never bought the Double.
Mo: It's already dark.
Dylan: Yoshi, here in this satellite sector, torches are illegal until you make them yourself.
Mo: Oh dude I found the quarry that we-
Dylan: Hey hey hey!
Mo: Wait, was it Qa-ree or Qua-ree?
Hugh: Spunkman has vengeance, that's all I'm saying.
Continued in Chapter 22!
________________________________________________
Chapter 22
Jokes on Hugh
________________________________________________
Current Date: May 2nd 2013
Days Stranded: 268
Last time on Tekkit, after a 5 month hiatus our heroes have finally returned for Season 2! And Hugh has become Spunkman, leader of the Cape Master Lord People!
Mo: Wait, was it qa-ree or qua-ree? I already forgot. You guys, I know we went through a whole chapter of you teaching me how to pronounce qa-ree or qua-ree.
Dylan: It's qua-ree.
Hugh: Quarry! QUA! REE! Quarry!
Mo: Well I already forgot. I found it again, look it's over there.
Hugh: I don't even know where you are, I'm following Dylan.
Mo: Um, use the big map and you'll see it. Oh God a skele- Oh du- oh gosh! Um so-
Dylan: By the way it's nighttime.
Mo: Yeah we probably should've headed home.
Dylan: Yeah why don't we do that?
Hugh: We probably should have made swords.
Dylan: Why don't we head home as I head directly towards you with all the dangerous monsters.
Mo: Well just come to the-
Dylan: There are 4 zombies.
Mo: Come to the quarry.
Hugh: Me and Dylan are going home.
Mo: No!
Dylan: Yeah, sorry Mo.
Mo: Awwww, I found coal guys, I was gonna defend myself in this quarry.
Dylan: Alright alright, I'm gonna come to the quarry, I'm gonna be a man about- oh my goodness!
Hugh: Screw that, I'm going home.
Mo: Whatwhatwhatwhatwhat?
Dylan: I saw a chicken.
Mo: You saw a chicken and you freaked out over it?
Hugh: Well this is Dylan, he loves Jerry.
Mo: Gasp! Waitwaitwaitwait! You saw a chicken!
Dylan: I got hit by a spider.
Mo: I immediately realized why you got... never mind.
Dylan: Mo I see you- oh my goodness, I remember this. What did we call this?
Mo: Uh, we called it the quarry hole, I dunno.
Dylan: The glory hole.
Hugh: Oh God.
Mo: Wrong series Dylan!
Dylan: Oh I'm sorry, I forgot.
Mo: That's our sister series to this series!
Hugh: Heh.
Mo: Which um...
Hugh: *Censored by dolphin noises*
Mo: What?
Hugh: Hehehahahaha!
Mo: WHAT?!
Hugh: Hahahahahaha!
Dylan: What did he say?
Mo: He just said *Censored by dolphin noises*!
Hugh: HAHAHAHA! HAHAHA!
Mo: What does that- what?!
Hugh: Ahaha!
Mo: I'm sorry?
Hugh: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mo: Excuse me?
Dylan: This zombie might have brought a bunch of, um, friends.
Hugh: Heh!
Dylan: I'm sorry, I know it's past our curfew, but...
Hugh: Heh!
Mo: So again, this is still the chapter where we reminisce about this! Heheheh!
Hugh: Ahahahahah!
Mo: Why did you say *Censored by dolphin noises* again?
Hugh: Ahahahaha! I don't know! You were like it's your sister series or something!
Mo: What does that even mean?
Hugh: Hee hee hee, hahahahahahahahahahaha! OK Mo, I think we need to have a man to man talk right now!
NOPE!
Mo: Waaohhwaawhoooaaa sweet child of mine~
Dylan: The only reason I know that song is because of Guitar Hero 2.
Hugh: OK Mo, after this chapter ends, I'm gonna teach you some *Censored by seal noises* okay?
Mo: Sure, sure thing.
Dylan: I'm completely not OK with your like...
Hugh: Heh.
Dylan: Mo can you give me like a pick? I can make one, but it's too much effort.
Mo: Go ahead and make one, thank you.
Hugh: I'm coming to you guys, I've got some swords, all that good shit.
Mo: Do you have any food?
Hugh: I do.
Mo: Alright, I need some food desperately.
Hugh: Wait doesn't Dylan have food though?
Dylan: I have 5 pieces of beef.
Hugh: Dude that's loads! Give Mo some!
Mo: Give me yo beef!
Dylan: What are you talking about? You gave me 5 pieces of beef on my own!
Mo: Oh is that the only thing we salavaged out of all the pawnshopped items?
Dylan: Yeah he traded our items for like beef and a cape, cause he thought the trade was unfair.
Mo: Oh yeah, cause he thought he needed to make his own McDoubles.
Hugh: Exactly. Double up!
Mo: Yoshi, someday we'll have an intervention about your McDonalds addiction.
Hugh: I don't think we need to, I'm fine.
Dylan: Also I have 2 apples.
Mo: Hey look, dude there's a man and he made it to the cave.
Dylan: Oh, congrats.
Hugh: Yay. I was busy on *Weenie Hut Juniors?*
Mo: Oh God!
A creeper snuck up behind Dylan and Hugh and exploded on them!
Dylan: Oh God!
Hugh: AAAAAAAAH!
Mo: I saw that, and then I immediately thought, I don't care for Yoshi.
Hugh: Wow. I'm not gonna show you *Super Weenie Hut Juniors?!* after all.
Mo: Well that's fine with me.
Hugh: That's your loss.
Mo: I wonder what I'm gonna end up replacing that with!
Hugh: Hehehehehehe! Hehehe!
Mo: Hehehe!
Dylan: You have to change it with like a new Spongebob episode every time, it's gonna be like...
Mo: Weenie Hut Juniors?
Dylan: Yeah I'm not gonna show you the Weenie Hut.
Hugh: Hahaha!
Dylan: I'm not gonna take you to Flappy Jack's.
Mo: We need to have a serious discussion on Weenie Hut General!
Dylan: Hehehehe.
Hugh: Don't even talk about Flappy Jack's in relation to *Censored with seal noises* you don't wanna know that.
Mo: Oh yeah! Hahahaha! That's great!
Dylan: What are you even talking about? Is this like a shock site or something?
Hugh: No, do you genuinely not know what *Censored with seal noises* is?
Mo: I know what it is, Dylan doesn't though.
Dylan: I don't search weird things on the Internet while putting pur- uh I'm not gonna go to that.
Mo: It's not a weird thing, it's uh... well never mind.
Hugh: Heh, oh Mo's seen *Censored with air horn*
Mo: Never mind, Dylan.
Hugh: Hehehehe!
Dylan: My alarm clock just went off.
Mo: Your alarm clock?
Dylan: Clearly-
Hugh: Dylan, when you're a little older, you know, maybe a year or so, just ask your dad that.
Dylan: You're younger than me.
Hugh: I know. Just ask your dad that.
Mo: Uh-oh there's a creeper.
Dylan: My alarm clock just went off, so clearly I have like my life in order.
Hugh: That's good.
Mo: What is it alarming you of about?
Dylan: I dunno, I think I'm just too dumb to figure out which one is PM and AM.
Mo: What?
Hugh: What?
Dylan: I accidently put it to PM instead of AM.
Hugh: So change it!
Mo: Oh so you meant to wake up at this time, but you...
Dylan: No I meant to wake up at 10 AM.
Mo: It's not even 10, it's 9:45 something.
Dylan: Alright, my clock is 15 minutes ahead because the power went out one day, and I was too lazy to change the minutes.
Mo: Oh my goodness! Change your freaking clothes! You look like a creeper!
Hugh: Me?
Mo: Yes!
Hugh: I'm a Yoshi! You can't go against that.
Dylan: He is pretty creepy, his name is Spunkman.
Hugh: Wow, yeah, true.
Mo: He's a little creepy! Hee hee hee hee hee!
Dylan: A little creepy. Yoshi's there being a little sneaky~
Mo: Can I have some freaking food please?
Hugh: No.
Dylan: BRB.
Mo: Please?
Hugh: OK fine.
Mo: Wow, so he didn't even give me the food and now he leaves. Are you- come on.
Hugh: OK Mo, we need to kill him and take his food.
Mo: Wait, I kind of remember this cave being a dead end, and I'm gonna be very disappointed if I'm right.
Dylan: Hey yo, wait you need food? I have 2 apples also.
Mo: Apples and bananas?
Hugh: So give Mo some!
Mo: Dude! It is! It's the freaking...what is it? What did I call it before? I forgot. What did I call this before? The panic room, the panic room!
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: It's the panic room.
Hugh: Something like that.
Mo: I remember, cause I was thinking of that movie with um, the chick from Twilight, and the other lady.
Dylan: Oh yeah that one, I love that one.
Mo: No it's called Panic Room though.
Hugh: What's her name? Um, Demi Lovatto or something?
Mo: No that's Camp Rock! What the hell's wrong with you!
Hugh: That's not her then.
Mo: We rock! Camp Rock yeah! Boom dah! Boomboom dah! Alright, now everyone knows about Camp Rock. Hehehe.
Hugh: How many times did you see Camp Rock? Be honest.
Mo: Uh, I never saw the 2nd one though.
Hugh: Yeah?
Mo: But I watched Part 1 like two or three times.
Dylan: I've never watched any of them. What's with you guys and watching weird things?
Mo: Why is Camp Rock weird?
Dylan: I dunno, it's like a rocking about camp. Unless it has Jack Black in it, it's cleary unviable.
Mo: What is this? I picked up some kind of weird mineral, I think it might be silver. Let's see... oh no it's tin. It's a leettle bit of tin.
Hugh: Little bit o tin.
Mo: Yees, a leetle bit of tin.
Hugh: Little bit of tin.
Mo: Tea pool.
Hugh: I like a leetle bit o tin. Like a oh, bare tin! Yeah! Dunno what I'm doing.
Mo: Hahahaha. You're being more British than you normally are.
Hugh: LEETLE BIT OF TIN!
Dylan: Stop encouraging people to talk with a British accent, it's not good.
Hugh: A leetle Britian!
Dylan: Especially not Yoshi's accent, Yoshi's accent is pretty weird.
Hugh: A leetle bit! No, I've got- yeah.
Mo: You've got like a Too Much McDonalds American accent! Heh!
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Or a Too Much McDonalds British accent, I don't know.
Hugh: Leetle bit of tin!
Mo: Can you give me some freaking food?!
Hugh: Can I have a Big Mac? Cheeseburgah!
Mo: You have yet to give me food!
Dylan: I'll give you food in a second.
Hugh: Cheeken nuggets!
Mo: GIVE! ME! FOOD!
Hugh: I'M GIVING YOU SOME!
Mo: Thank you.
Hugh: Don't beat my meat.
Mo: It's okay, I ate it already.
Hugh: Leetle bit of food, leetle bit of... can I have a Big Mac and a cheeseburgah?
Dylan: Yoshi we'd try to make jokes about this, but this is how you actually talk.
Hugh: And a Caoke? That's not how-
Mo: You're pretending to do your own voice! Hahahaha!
Hugh: That's not how I sound!
Mo: Alright, I'm gonna do a little bit of comparison here. Ahem...
Sample 1 (From one of YoshitoMario's videos)
Hugh: And uh I say to Dan, Hey Dan have you got any scissors? And I'm just thinking, I'll go to the cupboard in the kitchen. He says yes, and then look at what he pulls out of his bag!
Sample 2 (From Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)
Hermoine: Now if you 2 don't mind I'm going to bed before either of you come up with a clever idea to get us killed, or worse, expelled.
No thank you required! :3
Mo: Heheheh.
Dylan: Heh heh heh. Heh heh heh!
Mo: Hahahaha!
Dylan: Mo, is this clip that you inserted happen to have anything to do with Hermoine Granger?
Mo: Uh, no.
Dylan: OK never mind.
Hugh: Fuck you Dylan.
Mo: I don't know what you're talking about Dylan.
Dylan: Oh. Hey look, friends!
Mo: Hey look.
Dylan: Hey buddy! Oh shoot.
Mo: He's gonna... what the? What is he? He's like dancing. What are you doin' little buddy? OH SHI- OK.
Mo killed a zombie and a creeper exploded.
Mo: Alright. He was doing his ceremonial Let Me Blow Up dance.
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: That's a great dance, yeah.
Dylan: Love that dance.
Mo: Alright well we appeared to have run into another dead end. And it seems like this QUA REE-
Hugh: Quarry! He said it right! Yes!
Mo: Has been depleted of resources now.
Hugh: OK, time to leave it seems.
Mo: Well wait, are you still digging for stuff?
Hugh: Uhhhhhh, yeah.
Dylan: There's another exit over here.
Mo: Yeah I'm just getting some more coal. There's a lot of coal, I need to find more iron.  I-I-I-ron.
Hugh: I rin.
Mo: Is it I rin or I urn?
Hugh: It's I urn. There's no R.
Mo: Well there's an R in front of the O.
Dylan: Friends I have found- wait how did you get...? You already- you made a sword and some boots.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Wait, who?
Hugh: Oh and a pickaxe, it's fine.
Mo: Well I'm just gonna skip on it and get a ruby sword.
Dylan: I see that, I see that, so the guy-
Hugh: I'm clearly better than you, so you can't fight it.
Mo: Oh guys, we need to choose sides right now! Ruby Sapphire or Emerald?
Hugh: YAAAAAAAAH!
Dylan: Who's better now? Who's better now?!
Hugh: What the hell?!
Mo: What just happened? I don't...
Dylan: Hey stop it.
JETHROTEX WAS KILLED BY YOSHITOMARIO!
Hugh: Yeah!
Mo: I don't particularly... guys? This is not what Tekkit is about.
Dylan: I thought Spunkman fought for good.
Hugh: Well... not all the time. Sometimes he just Spunks cause he can.
Dylan: Spunkman!
Hugh: Heh, nenenenenenene!
Dylan: Heh heh heh!
Mo: What just happened?
Dylan: Spunkman!
Hugh: Spunked in yo face! 1995!
Mo: Dylan just died and then... wait what the heck?
Dylan: What the heck?
Mo: I just picked up some apples, oh look there's Dylan's stuff?
Dylan: Yeah that's my dead body.
Hugh: Yeah, Dylan double crossed me, so I had to-
Dylan: What are you talking about? You were using all the iron for that, and I was-
Hugh: I was using the iron that I HAD FAUMED!
Dylan: Heh, faumed.
Hugh: Faumed!
Mo: What?
Hugh: Faumed!
Dylan: Faaauuullaaalaaa. That's how you sound like.
Mo: Hahahahahahah!
Dylan: That's how you sound like.
Mo: Dylan what the fuck? Hahahahahah! What are you even saying?!
Dylan: I dunno.
Hugh: Uhhhhh...
Mo: Faaaaauuuuu! Faaaaaaaauuuuull!
Hugh: It sounds like he's having a stroke halfway through.
Dylan: Did you not hear that? Am I like the only one that heard that?
Mo: I think so.
Dylan: Alright. Well you have a recording of it, so clearly I'm not the only one.
Hugh: I had faumed!
Some time later...
Dylan: Alright I'm back at the house, can you guys just come back?
Mo: Well you can, I'm gonna pick up your items then.
Dylan: Yeah do that, it's fine.
Mo: Why would we come back to the house? There's nothing to do there.
Dylan: I didn't think about this idea, I can just spend-
Hugh: Come back to the cave, we can have cave sex.
Mo: I don't want that.
Dylan: Yeah, not not, no. No.
Hugh: Yeah you do.
Mo: Alright, so uh, I'm leaving this cave.
Hugh: Spank- Spu- I nearly called myself Spankman!
Mo: Spunkman wants some action.
Hugh: Who's Spankman? Spank, whhhpshhh!
Mo: Spunkman needs some action.
Dylan: Alright so let's see, Spunkman has a sidekick named Spankman who spanks him on the ass to get the Spunk out.
Hugh: Yeah pretty much!
Mo: What?
Hugh: Especially when he's got bluebuls. Oh!
Mo: Oh God.
Dylan: What?
Mo: Blue bulls!
Hugh: Heh heh hahahahahah!
Mo: The new NFL team! The Blue Bulls! Hahahahaha!
Dylan: Hahahahah!
Hugh: Hahahahah! I don't think of it, but when you say stuff that I don't-
Dylan: It's Red Bull's competitor, Blue Bull.
Mo: You know, the New York Blue Bulls!
Dylan: Heh heh heh heh!
Hugh: Aw I feel so left out from these jokes.
Mo: Because you're the one that is being joked on!
Hugh: I know! I can't help it, it's how I grew up.
Dylan: Wait what do you mean left out from these jokes? These jokes, they like reside in your being.
Hugh: Yeah. Cough... cough...
Mo: I'm gonna go to this other cave that I found.
Hugh: I puked on Dylan right there.
Mo: Hugh that's disgusting.
Dylan: Guys, can you like find me or something? I'm at the quarry.
Mo: Alright Dylan, here's an idea, press M and you'll see where the stuff is.
Dylan: Wait, M?
Mo then found a jungle.
Mo: Or not M, oh God what is this?
Dylan: Well no, I know where the quarry is, I don't see where you guys are.
Mo: What the heck is this?
Hugh: Blue Bulls.
Continued in Chapter 23!
________________________________________________
Chapter 23
Reminiscence
________________________________________________
Current Date: May 8th 2013
Days Stranded: 274
Last time on Tekkit, very naughty things were said! Um... let's just move on.
Mo: What the heck is this?
Dylan: What the heck?
Mo: OK seriously, come over here.
Dylan: Ah I see you, alright cool.
Mo saw a gigantic tree in the jungle with really dark leaves.
Mo: What...? OK this is definitely new.
Hugh: Where you at? Whatchu you at gurl?
Mo: Uh, south of the quarry.
Dylan: You have full iron already, cool.
Mo: Dylan come south of the quarry to this little lake.
Hugh: Why don't you call me over? It's just like, "Ah Dylan come with me."
Mo: Alright because Dylan is- hey look guys, look up. Hi.
Hugh: Oh hey. You don't care about Spunkman.
Dylan: Hehehe. You told me to say it like that.
Mo: Fine. Spunkman, please assist me in this.
Hugh: Thank you, that's what I wanted to hear!
Mo: You see the gray patch on your map?
Hugh: Yes.
Mo: Um, so I thought that was a cave, look at what it is.
Hugh: I'm coming.
Mo: You guys aren't even here, you guys suck.
Dylan: I'm behind you.
Hugh: Yo we're right behind you!
Mo: OK look up.
Hugh: Whoa...
Dylan: Is that a tree?
Mo: I don't know!
Hugh: Is that WEED?!
Mo: Um, maybe.
Dylan: Oh my goodness, we can appease Lil' Wayne!
Mo: What is this? I think it's a rubber tree.
Hugh: Hell no we can appease Yoshi, yeah it's a rubber tree.
Mo: What kind of rubber... rubberwood.
Dylan: I really wish I had items.
Mo: We got something called rubberwood.
Dylan: This is gonna be terrible when we have to cut parts of our houses.
Mo: Oh dude we can make a little house in here.
Dylan: Ahhhh.
Mo: A little treehouse you know.
Hugh: Psh, don't be gay.
Mo: A little treehouse, no? You don't wanna make a little treehouse?
Hugh: A little treehouse, just a new one.
Dylan: Rubberwood immediately turns it into a stick.
Hugh: Yeah it does.
Mo: What do you mean?
Dylan: Like, put it in your crafting thing and it just turns it into a stick.
Mo: You put it in your pocket and you do the hokey-pokey~
Dylan: That's what it's all about~
Hugh: It's really not what it's all about, Dylan.
Mo: Dylan pokey.
Dylan: So what was the point of rebuilding the house if we're never going to go back to it?
Mo: We are, but we're on an adventure to collect items and such. Also I'm starting to see that this tree was useless, but it just looked cool so I wanted to show you guys.
Hugh: Should we go back to the quarry?
Mo: Um, I dunno, is there more to mine in there?
Dylan: Not really.
Hugh: I think we should like dig down a little bit.
Dylan: Yeah that's what I was gonna say, we should find an actual cave system.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Yeah that's what I was trying to find, but I haven't found one yet.
Hugh: OK well let's go for it. Like, there's gonna be a cave under something like that for sure, so...
Dylan: You know what we should do? We should make boats and go across the land out of our dock.
Hugh: We should definitely do that in the next coming chapters, yeah.
Dylan: We should do that now, cause that's like one of the things we never did. We never went on a stroll in a boat into a little foreign land for a little bit.
Hugh: Ehh I don't mind doing that.
Dylan: Yeah that could be peaceful you know, you row the boat. Row row row your boat gently-
Hugh: No don't segway into that song.
Mo: But then the little arc of us reminiscing about the olden times is done.
Dylan: No we can do it while we're on boats, do you not understand?
Mo: I made it to the top of the tree. Dude, these leaves look like weed, hehehe.
Hugh: Right?
Dylan: I don't think we're supposed to talk about that.
Mo: I don't think we're supposed to talk about *Censored by dolphin noises* either!
Hugh: I was just about to say that!
Dylan: I don't know what *Censored by dolphin noises* is!
Mo: It's uh...
Hugh: Basically, Dylan, I'll sum it up in one word.
Dylan: Alright.
Hugh: No I'll sum it up in a sentence.
Dylan: Alright.
Hugh: Random dudes. A bus. And *Censored by dolphin noises*
Mo: That's like 5 words.
Dylan: Yeah I'm not okay with that.
Hugh: Heh heh heh heh! It's a really good series, I recommend you watch it.
Mo: Actually that's 6 words, I can't count. Anyway... I forgot where I was going.
Hugh: To the *Weenie Hut-* bus?
Mo: Please stop.
Hugh: Hee hee!
Mo: Oh boy.
Hugh: Yeah I agree, we should go back to our house and make some boats cause we've got the resources and just sail off into the distance.
Mo: Is that our house over there? Holy crap that's our house all the way over there! I'm at the tippy top of this very big tree.
Hugh: The tippy toppy.
Mo: OK so we're gonna go back and find a cave or something.
Hugh: No we're gonna go to our house and sail off and find another cave.
Mo: Oh God, I fell very high.
Hugh: So, meet at the house team!
Dylan: Alright.
Mo: Alright team, let's roll out. Autobots, roll out!
Hugh: Assemble, isn't it?
Mo: That's Avengers Assemble.
Hugh: Oh.
Mo: Holy crap, hahahaha! I love that you tried but you got it wrong anyway!
Hugh: Heh.
Mo: You were like, it's assemble.
Dylan: Guys I'm on top of a tree.
Mo: Um... wait what?
Dylan: I dunno, I'm behind you Mo.
Mo: There's a lot of rubber trees around.
Hugh: I'll rub your tree.
Mo: I think those are rubber trees, oh shoot it's snow. Hey there's a little lava thing over here I think. I'm gonna go to it, and then, so we're going to regroup at the house and try to find a cave at the house.
Dylan: Mo, I'm right behind you, stand still.
Mo: Oh I found a cave. Oh I found a ravine actually! I don't even remember... w-what was that?
Hugh: Oh God.
Mo: There was a cow.
Hugh: Moooooooooo.
Dylan: Yay.
Mo: He has a weird sound, hey I'm a cow tipper now.
Dylan: What is that thing on the map? Is that you?
Mo: Um, what thing?
Dylan: Oh no it's lava.
Mo: Yeah there's a ravine, and I suddenly remembered this ravine where like...
Dylan: Oh this is where we did all that.
Mo: You remember this ravine?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: We spent like a whole 50 chapters on this.
Hugh: Oh yeah I remember that ravine, oh God.
Mo: Except now it's like different.
Hugh: That's the ravine where urine was discovered I believe.
Dylan: No no, we were out in the forest talking about that prior.
Hugh Oh.
Mo: But it was during this little cave arc that we made this little recurring joke thingie.
Dylan: Yeah it was. There was something else in that, I forget, we did something else that was kind of significant. I forget, it was like making fun of Yoshi, but I don't remember.
Mo: I don't know, I remember Yoshi died and lost all of his items.
Hugh: The whole series was making fun of me!
Dylan: Oh that's right! He was dying a lot!
Mo: Yeah he- Oh yeah that chapter where he died like constantly over and over and over!
Hugh: That chapter sucked so hard.
Dylan: Yeah for you, cause you kept dying.
Mo: We were doing fine.
Hugh: You guys suck dick.
Dylan: I'm at the house by the way.
Mo: That is our own choice Yoshi.
Dylan: Heh.
Hugh: Fine, I don't care.
Dylan: I'm at the house.
Mo: Why are you back at the house? We just found a cave.
Dylan: What?! We were gonna go sailing!
Hugh: We are sailing.
Mo: Why are we going sailing? What is the point of that?
Hugh: Because we're gonna go find some new land and have sex with it.
Mo: Oh, well I'm still reminiscing about this ravine in which I'm soon gonna die in.
Dylan: Alright, well at least you'll get back to the house.
Mo: Uh, I'm gonna keep exploring this ravine.
Dylan: It's Spunkman, he's covered in white.
Hugh: Heh heh heh.
Mo: Wait I thought our goal in this chapter was to um, just get stuff so we can...
Dylan: Yeah we're gonna go sailing to another land to go find a different ravine that we haven't already been in so that people won't be like...
Hugh: And get stuff.
Dylan: "Why are you getting stuff in like the other place you've been?" Cause that's apparently what everyone sounds like.
Mo: And also what everyone will say when they clearly won't as they are different adventures, so duh.
Dylan: Mo if we go mining in that ravine that means we've done the same thing in 2 different chapters in different seasons.
Hugh: And that ain't good.
Mo: Well I'm already doing that, hahahahah!
Dylan: Alright Mo get your ass back here.
Mo: There's different stuff dude, I'm not even joking! Cause-
Dylan: Yeah but it looks exactly the same, no matter how you try and change it.
Mo: Alright ladies and gentlemen, compare this to the old ravine, thank you.
Hugh: Exactly, you can edit that in right there. And also *Hermoine Granger* and yeah.
Mo: Why do you keep mentioning this? This is just gonna be more for me to have to edit out!
Hugh: Cause it's funny! I'm just gonna say it at a really awkward point that you won't be able to find.
Dylan: Mo you're gonna have to find different like things where Yoshi says and put them together like you take I'm and then you put idiot and you put them together and he goes like, Yoshi's like: "I'm an idiot." Oh my God!
Mo: What just happened?
Dylan: That thing, I'm an idiot.
Mo: Alright well I found some iron so I'm gonna try to get out of this.
Hugh: Hey come back to the bus.
Dylan: What is wrong with you?
Mo: Hey I found some sapphire and some rubies, and a zombie and I'm gonna punch him into the crevice.
Dylan: Alright, I like how Mo is on an adventure and Yoshi and I are just chilling at the house.
Hugh: I know.
Mo: Well I'm trying to make it out of here, this is gonna be harder than it looks.
Dylan: Mo, you take dirt, you make a gigantic pillar.
Hugh: You make a noob tower.
Mo: Alright, I don't have any dirt.
Dylan: Alright Mo you're gonna take cobblestone.
Mo: Alright, I have 38.
Hugh: OK that should be enough.
Dylan: Get back up here.
Mo: Alright here we go... and here we go! Hey I found emeralds too so I have all 3 of them while you guys did nothing, cause you all suck.
Dylan: Yoshi let's make some boats while he's doing nothing.
Hugh: Oh wait Dylan, I've already made boats for you and me.
Dylan: Oh OK, you and I.
Mo: Yeah, you and I.
Hugh: Down here!
Dylan: I'm coming.
Mo: Hey look a cow.
Hugh: No you're not! I'm coming, I'm Spunkman!
Dylan: Shut up! Oh my goodness!
Hugh: You were the one who made that up!
Mo: Spunkman and Dylanboy having sex in a boat, so joy~
Dylan: Alright, Yoshi you're gonna have to-
Hugh: You know how in a plane if you have sex-
Dylan: No don't throw the boat down, don't throw the boat down you're supposed to put it in the chest up here.
Mo: Wait, on a plane what?
Hugh: You know how if you have sex on a plane, it's called the Mile High Club. What's it called if you have sex on a boat?
Mo: Um...
Dylan: The Deep River Club.
Hugh: The Sea Shanties.
Mo: Why is it the Sea Shanties?
Hugh: I dunno, cause it sounds fun. And I can imagine you-
Mo: Like the 40 Knots Club.
Dylan: Heh heh heh!
Hugh: Aheheheheh!
Dylan: What is that? I don't get like these disgusting things you people watch.
Hugh: Come hither young lass.
Mo: I haven't watched anything.
Dylan: Oh okay.
Mo: I've just been watching lots of Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds.
Dylan: Dude I'm on Episode 40, what are you on?
Mo: 10.
Dylan: Hahahahah!
Hugh: I haven't even seen these.
Mo: Hello!
Dylan: Hello.
Mo: Armor!
Hugh: Yeah, and a sword, and pickaxe.
Dylan: Mo get a boat.
Mo: I have 1 heart left and 3 food, so I'm not regenning. So how does this iron furnace work again?
Hugh: Uh, it's just faster, and it uses coal more efficiently I think.
Mo: Mmmmmm. I'm smelting all of this.
Hugh: You'd better get that sexual Mmmmmmm in there.
Dylan: Hey Mo, can I have some of my tools back?
Hugh: Hey Dylan, hey Dylan! Take a sword, son.
Mo: So we're sailing to new lands in this wonderful story arc! And with that, we conclude the reminiscing arc of this beautiful series.
Hugh: Yes.
Dylan: Wasn't this like 45 minutes?
Mo: It's been like 3 chapters or something, dude I don't know.
Hugh: Cool. 3 chapters in the season.
Mo: It was the chapter in which I reminisce about things. But we're gonna... oh God. Wait, are you frozen Hugh? Can you see me?
Hugh: No I'm here, I'm just saying, you don't want to anger Spunkman. He's covered in white, and he's ready to attack.
Mo: Dude, your eyes look so Asian cause of your helmet.
Dylan: He's covered in white and he's ready to fight.
Mo: Your eyes are literally like 1 pixel wide, it's like...
Hugh: Hahahaha! I'm looking at it!
Mo: It's like Japanese Yoshi, it's like, instead of "Yoshi!" he goes-
Dylan: Hehehe.
Hugh: I'm chicki the China the Chinese chicken!
Dylan: Combay! Alright...
Mo: Hahahahaha!
Dylan: Mo give me some food.
Mo: Hahahah...
Hugh: I'm like a sunbird!
Dylan: No, you guys are racist, but I'm Asian, so I can say this stuff.
Hugh: And a little check noodle!
Mo: What do you want Dylan? Jesus!
Dylan: I need foooood.
Mo: Why would I have food?!
Dylan: Cause you took my dead body!
Hugh: You want the chicken on a stick?
Mo: I have rotten flesh.
Hugh: With a rotten fresh!
Dylan: I don't want rotten flesh, give me real food.
Hugh: No it's not rotten flesh, it's rotten fresh.
Dylan: Rotten fresh...?
Mo: Rotten fresh?
Hugh: Yeah!
Dylan: So it's an oxymoron.
Mo: Yeah it's a contradiction.
Hugh: Hehehehehe yeah!
Mo: Dude! OK, combining this shit I remember that like Skittles commercial where he's like: "You're a Scottish Korean!" or some shit!
Hugh: A Scottish Koreeeean!
Mo: Was it Scottish Korean or what was it?
Hugh: I don't remember.
Mo: It was Scottish something dude, you know what I'm talking about?
Dylan: Yoshi can you give me some food please?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Alright hold on, I'm gonna- alright so Dylan we're just gonna open this chest and put everything in it, right?
Dylan: Yeah. We don't even have the materials for- wow we do.
Mo: Oh dude look at the rubber saplings, it's weird looking. Wait, does this grow the rubber tree?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: The one that was gigantor?
Dylan: Alright, I got it. Let's put it outside our house, and then when we come back we'll see a wonderful wonderful achievement.
Mo: A giant rubber tree.
Hugh: Oh my God yes! And I can lynch them all!
Dylan: Alright Yoshi, we're gonna need to talk about your problems.
Hugh: I don't have problems, I just know what I like.
Mo: Alright, intervention coming soon.
Hugh: Chapter 5!
Mo: But um, we're gonna set off on a wonderful sailing adventure I think.
Hugh: Yes we are. You got a boat?
Mo: Also I need some food.
Dylan: Denenenenenenenenenenene...
Continued in Chapter 24!
________________________________________________
Chapter 24
The Amazing Maze
________________________________________________
Current Date: May 23rd 2013
Days Stranded: 289
Last time on Tekkit, our heroes did reminiscing about the past. Nothing too exciting, until now...
Mo: I thought you guys were making the boats!
Hugh: I made 2 boats.
Mo: Well we need 3.
Hugh: Yes, make another one.
Dylan: Hey Mo, you're supposed to make your own, so people can see how to make a boat. First, take 5 pieces of wood...
Hugh: Exactly, this is a tutorial series.
Mo: Alright, tutorial series. How to make a- I failed, I made a bowl. There we go.
Dylan: How to make a bowl!
Hugh: I mean, if you're small I guess you could sail in a bowl.
Dylan: Mo's pretty tiny.
Hugh: Yeah, true that.
Mo: I don't like you.
Dylan: Hehehe. Don't worry, Yoshi's just as small as you.
Hugh: I'm not! I'm taller than him thankfully!
Mo: By like one inch!
Dylan: Half an inch.
Hugh: It's still taller than you!
Dylan: Well you were still greasier than him.
Mo: Well you were also wearing high heels.
Hugh: I'M NOT GREASY!
Dylan: Heh heh.
Mo: You were wearing high heels, that doesn't count.
Hugh: And I totally know what you're referencing there by the way, Dylan.
Dylan: Oh you mean that thing in your hair that entire time?
Mo: Hahahaha!
Hugh: Yes. My fucking hair gel sucks dick!
Mo: Well maybe that's why there's lice up in your hair!
Dylan: Hahaha!
Mo: Hahahaha!
Hugh: I am Spunkman!
Dylan: Oh my God, yeah I was about to say that, the creation of Spunkman happened at PAX!
Hugh: It totally did.
Mo: Alright, so guys, come here. Commemoratory moment! Ahem... Hello creeper, please stay away from us, and uh, our house, thank you. Don't close the- you freaking idiot!
Hugh: Mo!
Dylan: When did you get bows and arrows and stuff?
Mo: I told you I had this under control. Anyway, ahem... Clear the land! Clear the land! Alright, there we go.
Dylan: I don't think we should put it this bit close cause it'll cover our windows.
Mo: Um... Tada! It'll go there.
Dylan: Alright, that's fine.
Mo: Hey I got some flax seeds, whatever those are.
Dylan: You spin those into bowstring, and then you get a bunch of money in Runescape.
Mo: Huh.
Hugh: Aw yeah, money!
Mo: Alright, ready to set sail? Woo! Follow me, lads!
Our 3 boys set up their boats and begin rowing into the ocean, searching for unknown lands!
Mo: Dun-dah-dah-duuuuuuuh! Dun-dah-naaaaaaa! Dun-dah-dah-duuuuuuh! Bum-buh-bum-buh-buuuuuh! I'm gonna end up crashing into the volcano.
Hugh: Harmonies, yay! I like harmonies.
Mo: Hey look, the volcano.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: I'm pretty sure we went here.
Dylan: Yeah we did, and we kinda, I died.
Mo: Alright so where are we sailing to?
Dylan: This way.
Hugh: I don't know, this was Dylan's idea, he should-
Mo: Past the volcano?
Hugh: Well my boat died.
Mo: Alright, good job, Yoshi.
Dylan: Good job.
Mo: Oh look, there's already a faraway land right there. Do you see it?
Dylan: That's not far away enough.
Mo: Dude are you serious? We're not gonna go that far, we're not gonna remember how to get back.
Dylan: Don't worry, we have a map. You should make a way point or something.
Mo: Oh. Yoshi you should probably do that.
Hugh: I am just doing that right now.
Dylan: Thanks.
Mo: K, so should I crash my boat into this wonderful land?
Dylan: No let's keep going past this.
Mo: Alright. Turning around!
Dylan: Where are you? Oh there you are.
Mo: I'm making my way around the cape of...
Dylan: Let's just wait for Yoshi.
Mo: What's that one cape in Africa called?
Hugh: I'm on my way now.
Dylan: Alright, we're behind like, the sand.
Mo: What's the one cape in Africa called? Like, you know, the one that all the boats go around.
Hugh: Cape Cod!
Mo: Is it Cape Cod? I don't think so. It's called like, Clinki! Ck ck! Hahahahaha!
Hugh: Oh God that was racist.
Mo: Well that's like African tribes.
Dylan: Alright Mo, you're gonna have to cut down some trees and make yourself a new boat.
Mo: I'm not trying to be racist, I'm just very uninformed on African tribes!
Hugh: Alright so I'm at this volcano, I'm at a volcano.
Dylan: So just go past it and you'll see a gigantic island going around it.
Mo: Hey there's like a black shape over there.
Hugh: Oh yeah, okay which way around it?
Dylan: Oh my goodness, what is that? Hm? Turn on the right side of the island.
Hugh: Right side...
Dylan: Mo, make a new boat with some stuff there.
Mo: Wait really? You wanna keep going? Dude we already found a new faraway land.
Dylan: No come on, not this one, this ones too close.
Mo: Dude this is like the island from Lost.
Dylan: Eh, not really.
Hugh: To be fair, it's not that far away.
Mo: Why would we go so far away?
Hugh: This isn't that far away yet.
Dylan: Yeah, see? Even Yoshi agrees.
Mo: Oh okay, then we're going to an even farther away land. I'm gonna need to make a crafting table in this new land. I hope I don't run into any-
Hugh: Dylan I see you! Ck ck!
Dylan: Wha?
Mo: I said I hope I don't run into any small-
Dylan: No I was talking about-
Hugh: Aw shit!
Dylan: Good job! You're gonna need to make Yoshi another boat.
Mo: Wait, you did the same thing that I did! You freaking scrub!
Hugh: I'm not a scrub.
Dylan: You're essentially calling yourself a scrub cause of what you did. Actually you're worse of a scrub cause you copied what he did in a bad manner.
Mo: Alright, where are you guys? Out in the middle of the ocean.
Dylan: Hey.
Mo: Dylan come to this ice, my feet are getting cold! Ah! Ah! Oof! Eek! Ah! Come here! Hurry! My feet are getting cold!
Dylan: What do you want me to do? Even if I come over there, there's really nothing that's going to happen.
Mo: Dylan, I'm getting cold feet!
Dylan: Oh it's okay.
Mo: That was a pun.
Dylan: It's funny, cause like-
Mo: Also I might break the ice! Ugh!
Dylan: Oh, now it's less awkward.
Mo: Alright, there you go Yoshi.
Hugh: No I've got a boat already.
Mo: Are you-
Hugh: Heh!
Mo: Well there you go.
Hugh: Well thank you.
Mo: Bring one of those puppies around.
Dylan: There's a black symbol over there.
Mo: Hey look, there's more faraway lands. Oh dude there's a lot of black over here, look.
Hugh: Wow that was racist.
Dylan: Where are you guys going?
Mo: Why is that racist? Stop making me sound racist!
Hugh: There's a lot of black people!
Dylan: Wait I want to see what this is over here! Oh it's an oil well.
Mo: I'm not even being racist. Just because you say it's racist is what's making it racist anyway.
Dylan: Guys I think you should come over here.
Hugh: I know.
Mo: Look, there's um, there's literally a lot of black like blocks here and I don't know what they are.
Dylan: Guys you should come over here.
Hugh: Wow... Dude what is that? There's like a custom structure over here!
Mo: It's basalt cobblestone. Where are you, Yoshi?
Hugh: This is so incredible!
Mo: I'm by the black cobble.
Hugh: No I'm on it, go further in land a little bit.
Mo: Where?
Hugh: I'm standing on this massive... like what the...
Mo: It's snowing here dude.
Hugh: Yeah, dude I'm in the snow.
Mo: I'm in the snow too, what part of the snow did you go into?
Hugh: OK, look behind you.
Dylan: No! Nononono! My boat my boat my boat!
Hugh: I'm by Dylan.
Mo: Oh, wait, by Dylan?
Hugh: Yeah, that way.
Mo: Wait, you're in the water?
Hugh: No I'm- aw screw it.
Mo: Dylan was in the water though.
Hugh: There's like the blocks you find in temples just placed around and I don't know why they're there.
Mo: Where are you guys?
Hugh: I'm behind you!
Mo: Are you se- Oh hi!
Hugh: Hi.
Mo: Where do I go?
Dylan: Hey guys.
Hugh: It doesn't matter, it was nothing.
"It was nothing." -YoshitoMario <--- Remember this.
Hugh: But we should go and explore this right here, cause this is a cool cave, or mountain, and there's probably a cave here.
Dylan: Dang it, this isn't far away enough.
Hugh: Dylan how far do you want to travel?
Dylan: Relatively far.
Hugh: How far is far? There's no descriptions!
Dylan: At least 3 or 4 more islands ahead.
Mo: Alright then let's go back to our boats.
Dylan: Yaaaay.
Hugh: Oh boy, we are never going to find our way back home.
Dylan: You have a way point!
Hugh: Yeah but I'm still never gonna find it.
Mo: Hey there's a freaking ravine right here!
Dylan: Oh. Eh, it looks the same as the other one, let's go.
Hugh: No we're going down this one. Mo I agree with you, let's do it.
Dylan: Awwwww. You guys suck.
Mo: Well they're all gonna look the same, cause they're all ravines.
Hugh: Mo, we have to jump into this portal together!
Mo: Ooooh, I found it.
Mo found a strange looking portal.
Hugh: See what I mean?
Mo: Hugh? This has a portal in it, do you realize that?
Hugh: Oh I didn't s- ooooooh what?
1 minute ago...
Hugh: It doesn't matter, it was nothing.
Yup, Hugh is a liar.
Mo: I can't see it from the other-
Dylan: Alright, oh my goodness!
Dylan entered the portal and disappeared!
Mo: Oh God! Dylan?
Hugh: Where are you?!
Mo: Dylan?!
Dylan: Guys?
Mo: DYLAN?!?!
Hugh entered the portal.
Mo: NOOOO! Why did you go too?!
Hugh: What the heck is this?!
Dylan: Oh my goodness!
Hugh: What the hell is this?!
Mo: I'm so scared!
Hugh: It's fine, we're in a building!
Dylan: Just do it, just do it! Jump into the portal with us.
Mo: Oh God... AAAAAAAAH!
Mo ran into the portal and found himself in a labyrinth of stone! He also met up with Dylan and Hugh.
Hugh: What the hell?!
Dylan: Dude, look at the door, look at this! Look at how cool that looks!
Mo: What the heck?
Mo turned around and opened a door, and what he saw was space, outer space! He could also see some Northern Lights.
Hugh: OH! YO!
Mo: Hugh?
Hugh found a hidden treasure room.
Dylan: Alright, get the stuff.
Hugh: Oh my God!
Mo: Alright Dylan, step off of it. Step off of it.
Dylan stepped off the pressure plate that opened that hidden room, trapping Hugh in there!
Mo: HAHAHA!! OOOOHOOOOOHOOOOOHOOOO!
Dylan: There's another panel on the other side.
Mo: Oh.
Hugh: I just found a brand new music disc, some food, a bunch of buckets, a bunch of tin and iron...
Mo: Where are we? What is this?
Hugh: OK, I've got three stacks of 64 of this block, and it scares me! The name literally scares me! It's called: Fabric of Reality.
Mo: Um, guys?
Mo broke a wall and found on the other side to be nothing more than a black void! There was just pure darkness!
Mo: Uuuuum...
Dylan: Um, I don't think we wanna fall in that. Why would you break the door?
Hugh: No.
Mo: Yeah. Look I'm gonna break through this.
Dylan: We can just open these doors.
Hugh: Yeah you can. OK, I'm gonna go through it!
Mo: Wait really? I thought it was the steel doors. Where did it take you?
Hugh: I think this is like a maze.
Mo: Hold on, I'm breaking- I'm going down.
Dylan: I think this one's an exit.
Mo: Let's go down this way.
Dylan: The wooden door's an exit.
Mo: Oh my God look at what happens when you go step back and forth a lot.
Dylan: Oh my goodness.
Hugh: What happens?
Mo: I'm gonna go down this way.
They went through the door and made it back to reality!
Mo: Oh, hey I'm back! What the- is this like a freaking TARDIS?! Look at this!
The door they came out of had the blue space inside the door window!
Hugh: Dude!
Mo: This is a freaking TARDIS!
Dylan: We were making that joke in our sister series.
Hugh: We're going back in! This is too cool to not go in again, go through the one that I went through, there was like a maze.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: I'm making it into a TARDIS, I'm like legit making this into a TARDIS though.
Hugh: OK.
Dylan: Alright. Mo get back here, come on.
Mo: Dude this works like the Nether, every time it teleported us- oh wait, I thought it teleported us really far away.
Hugh: Oh my God Dylan, this is scary.
Dylan: Oh my goodness.
Mo: It literally teleported us right next to the other one.
Dylan: Mo, you need to come here, cause this is more interesting than whatever you were doing.
Hugh: Yeah, for real.
Mo stepped back into the portal they first went into, and then entered the steel door. Mo met up with Dylan and Hugh at a room with 3 different paths to choose from.
Dylan: Oh my goodness, Yoshi look at that!
Mo: Hello.
Hugh: Wait, what'd you think?
Dylan: Look at this.
Mo: I'm trying to figure out-
Hugh: Oh no I'm scared!
Mo: Are there invisible blocks or do you just fall into the abyss?
Hugh: No.
Dylan: No we would fall forever and never die.
Hugh: I'm gonna go through this one.
Mo: I'm scared, oh God, I went through this one.
Hugh: Yeah, I'm coming.
Mo: Um, it's very dark in here. There's a dark corridor and there's light again.
Dylan: Hey Hugh Murrell.
Hugh: This is so scary! What is this?
Mo: Yeah this is like the minotaur trap dude, we're gonna end up running into a freaking minotaur. Oh hey I found another portal. Are you guys still following me? Should we go in this one?
Hugh: Yeah let's go.
Dylan: Alright.
Hugh: Let's just stick together, cause we could get seriously lost.
Hugh went into the portal first.
Hugh: Oh God! This is scary!
They came to a long corridor with a collapsing floor that would rebuild itself, then collapse again!
Mo: Oh my goodness! Hugh?
Hugh: Yeah?
Mo: Hugh?
Hugh: Where are you?
Dylan: Oh God. I'll go first cause I have no items.
Mo: No you won't, I'm gonna do this!
Mo started building a wooden bridge across!
Mo: Hahahaha!
Dylan: Oh okay, that works too.
Mo: Hahahahahahahah! Are we cheap for doing this?
Hugh: No, I don't care, I think that's fair. Jesus Christ... I'm really scared right now, dunno know about you.
Mo: I don't know where we are!
Hugh: I don't know what this is! I feel like we're Doctor Who.
Mo: Literally, this is like some Doctor Who shit!
Hugh: I just watched Doctor Who before this chapter.
They entered the next portal and came to another corridor with closing walls that would close and then open!
Mo: Oh Jesus, OK there's another one. Oh no this one's even worse!
Dylan: I think they knew we cheated.
Mo: Um, you see what this one is like?
Hugh: Oh God.
Dylan: Alright Mo, just place one block and it'll stop it.
Hugh: What happens if you die?
Mo: Where are you guys?
Dylan: I'm right beside you.
Mo started placing wood at the parts where the wall would close to create an opening to get past.
Dylan: Oh shoot, okay. Oh my goodness Mo stop it, no, let's actually try it, come on.
Mo: I don't wanna die!
Dylan: Well I'm sorry, I don't wanna die either cause I don't wanna have to come all the way back here.
Hugh: I feel like if we make it through this though, there will be some really good rewards you know.
Dylan: So you mean if we cheat our way.
Hugh: Yeah. I mean, it's not like it's a survival map, like...
Mo: Yeah, we can cheat our way through it.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: Yeah, that's what you get Tekkit.
Hugh: Damn straight.
Mo: There we go... um... dude this is really loud.
Hugh: I still have 64 of this block called Fabric of Reality, and I'm very scared to place it down. Should I do it? OK cool.
Mo: No, I think it teleports you to another dimension.
Hugh: I got three stacks of 64 of it.
Dylan: These are a lot of noises and I'm kind of scared.
Mo: I need space, Hugh, I need space.
Hugh: Yeah okay, I got you.
Mo: Hold on, I'm trying to literally to just you know, Indiana Jones our way out of this.
Dylan: What do you mean Indiana Jones? Indiana Jones would have gone through all of this stuff.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Dude, well we're not freaking Indiana Jones! We're uh, some dumb guys writing fan fiction.
Dylan: Indiana Mos.
Mo: I think we've already made this joke.
Dylan: Yeah I think so.
Hugh: It's an awful joke.
Dylan: Dun-dun-dun-duuuuuh, dun-duh-duuuuh Spunkman!
Hugh: I love Spunkman.
Mo: Alright so there's a hole right here...
Hugh: By the way, you totally know that if this is the 2nd challenge, the 3rd one behind that door is gonna be even harder.
Dylan: The 3rd one's gonna have lava that we can't break.
Mo: What if there isn't a 3rd one?
Hugh: Hopefully there isn't, I'm hoping there isn't.
Mo: Oh God... oh God... okay well...
Dylan: Please don't hit me.
Mo broke a hole in the ceiling.
Mo: Oh I just realized something!
Hugh: What?
Mo: This is like freaking Mario, look! Hahahahahahah!
Mo climbed the wall and went over the corridor, then dropped down in front of the portal!
Dylan: Alright.
Mo: You know how in Mario you can skip past it by going above?
Dylan: Oh yeah.
Mo: Well there you go, hi Hugh! Hahahaha!
Hugh: Wow.
Mo and Dylan entered the next portal, and found themselves at an empty fountain that led downstairs.
Dylan: Oh my goodness, dude I made it to the Fountain of Youth!
Mo: Oh we made it! Dude, freaking Ponce de Leon would be so proud! You know?
Hugh then made it into the next portal, meeting up with Mo and Dylan.
Hugh: Yo what is this?
Mo: Wait look, these black blocks can be broken.
Hugh: Oh so it's not the void then.
Mo: No it is, it is.
Dylan: Nonono, you don't fall.
Mo: Wait, no, not when you step off of the black. The middle column is solid, not the stuff outside.
Dylan: No it is, the stuff on the sides is, look. Wait...
Mo: What did you do?
Dylan: Yeah look, you can break this.
Hugh: Oh yeah, oh yeah we are safe! OK.
Mo: Wait...
Hugh: Right, go through.
Mo: Not all the sides though, this side doesn't have anything.
Dylan: No yeah, no all of them do.
Hugh: OK so we're back in the maze again.
Dylan: Guys come on.
Mo: I thought we found the Fountain of Youth.
Hugh: And there's 2 different exits, which do we go? Go through the iron door, do this one.
Mo: Why is the iron door always our choice?
Hugh: I dunno.
The 3 went into the next iron door, and found 2 floating islands hovering over the black abyss!
Mo: Oh shit. Holy crap.
Hugh: What is this?
Dylan: Alright?
Mo: Alright, um, there's the Tree of Life. So clearly we need to make our way to the Tree of Life.
Dylan: Wait, see, this black stuff is solid, or no it's not.
Mo: No some of it is, some of it is not.
Hugh: Mo look!
Mo: What?
Hugh: Heh heh.
Mo: Where are you?
Hugh: Hahahaha.
Mo: OK, you're gonna end up falling, and I'm not gonna be very...
Hugh: I'm crouching, I can't fall, I'm crouching. It's fine. So what do we do here?
Dylan: I think we mine this here. I'm kinda scared, this is gonna end up being a creeper.
Hugh: OH! MY GOD!
Mo: Whatwhatwhatwhatwhat? Under it? What happened?
Hugh: OH. MY. G- I can't pick it up!
Mo: What is it?
Hugh: I can't pick it up! No!
Mo: What is it? What is it?
Hugh: YES! YES!!
Mo: Was it a diamond?
Hugh: It was a block of diamond, that's like 9 diamonds!
Mo: Oh gosh.
Dylan: Oh wow. Alright, so we don't even need the generator anymore.
Hugh: I just got 9 diamonds straight up!
Dylan: Alright Yoshi.
Hugh: I'm happy.
Mo: Alright, good shit.
Hugh: OK! Okay so there was a reward from this. So yeah, dig down through this dirt, guys. There could be awesome stuff.
Dylan: No, careful, this might be our greed, and then we dig too far and we all die.
Hugh: That is true.
Mo: Well okay, here's one thing you can do is when you throw down a block, you know if there's a solid floor under it.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Alright, well anyway, I say we head back and go through the other exit now.
Dylan: Yeah, I think that was the idea.
Mo: This is very weird, I don't think this is the end, dude. Cause remember there's a- oh God, there's another door right here.
Dylan: Alright wait up, that one's probably the exit.
They went through the wooden door, and made it out of the maze back into the real world!
Mo: Okay we're back outside, wooden doors exit you. Alright well that was our adventures in freaking Doctor Who land!
Dylan: Alright.
Mo: Um, also there's a cave right next to us conveniently so we can already explore this.
Continued in Chapter 25!
________________________________________________
Chapter 25
Spunkman Strikes Back
________________________________________________
Current Date: May 26th 2013
Days Stranded: 292
Last time on Tekkit, our heroes explored an alternate dimension! Now we rejoin them ready to explore another cave.
Hugh: OK let's do it.
Dylan: Alright.
Hugh: Should we go down there now?
Mo: Well you're full on inventory, right?
Hugh: Yeah I'm full on inventory, I've got 9 diamonds, I think I should head back.
Dylan: Yeah, you go ahead back.
Hugh: OK.
Dylan: We're gonna hear a yell and Yoshi's gonna die.
Hugh: Hold on, I'm gonna set a way point here. You guys continue doing whatever.
Mo: Yeah, set a way point because I felt like there could have been other exits to that maze.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: No that maze though, or...
Mo: Nono there were multiple mazes.
Dylan: See, aren't you guys glad I want to go to faraway lands?
Hugh: Yeah I'll give you that one.
Mo: Um, partly. But also what the hell was that?
Hugh: I don't know.
Mo: What... Uh Dylan, skeleton.
Dylan: I have a sword. Tekkit has gotten more interesting
Mo: Dude okay, well that was freaking cool! Hahahaha. Seriously though, that was like...
Dylan: Oh my goodness, we don't even know like what else there is now, Yoshi you didn't even know about that right?
Hugh: No.
Dylan: Alright, so clearly we don't even know what else is out there.
Hugh: But the thing is, I've never seen anything like that in my life. So...
Dylan: So stay tuned and subscribe.
Mo: Oh shoot I'm about to die, I'm literally about to die. Dylan help me help me help me help me!
Dylan: Where are you?
Mo: Oh shoot! Ah God! Ahhhh! Ahhh! OK I need to regen health.
Hugh: I can't get over how cool that was, and I got a block of diamond!
Dylan: Hmmm-mmm.
Hugh: Good shit.
Mo: So that was uh, now I need to figure out what to name that chapter. The freaking Maze of Mazes.
Hugh: Yeah so it's like what is- oh God I've still got that Fabric of Reality block. Should I place it down?
Mo: No let's figure it out together.
Hugh Oh dude what the hell?
Dylan: Wow.
Hugh: It is the black block, but it lights up! So we can have just like a black wall or something, and it'll be completely lit cause it acts like glowstone.
Mo: Uhhhhh, what?
Dylan: Nice.
Hugh: And I've got loads of it.
Mo: Alright?
Dylan: Alright.
Mo: Sounds useful.
Hugh: Yeah. I'm nearly home, oh my God...
Mo: I love that. "We've got this awesome new block- I'm nearly home."
Hugh: Keh heh heh heh.
Dylan: "We've got this awesome new block, it's black and stuff!" There's so much iron. Oh there's so much iron!
Hugh: Yeah you guys try and get like full iron armor, catch up with me.
Mo: Oh God, oh God. Well I'm gonna die soon cause I don't have a sword anymore.
Dylan: Mo I'll give you my sword. Where are you? Let's stick together.
Mo: Oh frick.
Hugh: Thank God for way points.
Mo: Oh God... Dude-
Hugh: We would never have found the house if I didn't put that way point down.
Dylan: No I would've, I know how to get there.
Mo: Dylan?
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: I need help. I see you at the top-right.
Dylan: I do too.
Mo: So come down here and kill these skeletons for me, also I found rubies.
Dylan: That's nice. Oh shoot broke my leg.
Stop lying Dylan, you suck at it!
Hugh: OK I'm home.
Mo: So I guess I get the ruby sword. Hi Dylan.
Dylan: Hi.
Mo: I barricaded myself.
Dylan: I see that. There's so much iron, let's go back and get that iron.
Mo: I found something called a quartz crystal.
Dylan: Yeah I got a bunch of that.
Hugh: I've heard of that, I can't think of what it is again.
Dylan: It makes watches.
Mo: Wait, what?
Dylan: I dunno.
Mo: Like quartz watches?
Dylan: Oh dude, hey Mo, look what I got.
Mo: Uh, I went off because I found a bunch of iron.
Dylan: Mo look what I've got.
Mo: Hold on.
Dylan: I don't even see- oh there you are, hey look what I have.
Mo: Hey rubies. Wait what is that?
Dylan: It's a testicle.
Mo: What the? Can I see it? Can I touch it?
Dylan: It's Spunkman's only weakness.
Hugh: Oh no!
Mo: Can I please touch it?
Dylan: Here Mo.
Mo: ...Dylan what the fuck is this?
Dylan: I dunno, remember that thing that like a creeper dropped or whatever?
Mo: I don't know what a... shard of minium is.
Hugh: The hell is that?
Mo: I dunno, it looks like a-
Dylan: Achoo! Sorry.
Mo: Like a nutsack, a bloody nutsack.
Dylan: We can now defeat Spunkman!
Mo: I thought Spunkman was a good guy.
Dylan: Spunkman!
Mo: The evil Spunkman.
Hugh: Man, Spunkman ain't good.
Dylan: We meant Spunkman's evil twin brother, Spunkman!
Mo: Spunkman!
Dylan: Heh.
Mo: Spunkman 2: The Spunk Continues!
Dylan: Spunkman 2: Electric Boogaloo!
Mo: Spunkier, heh heh heh! Spunkman 2: Electric Boogaloo, I like that one.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: That was good.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: It's like how you put Electric Boogaloo in every sequel ever.
Dylan: What do you mean? That's the first time I've done that.
Mo: Spunkman 2: Mission Impossible!
Dylan: Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, stop stop stop.
Mo: Or no, Spunkman 3: Spunk Harder!
Hugh: Heh.
Dylan: Mo?
Mo: Whatwhatwhatwhat?
Dylan: Sorry, I was dying to a spider.
Mo: Hello.
Hugh: Spunkman 4: Spunk up a Loser!
Mo: Cough, alright we're done with that, ahem...
Dylan: Spunkman 2: Spunks On You!
Hugh: Heh.
Mo: Alright Dylan, I thought we already said a title for Spunkman 2.
Dylan: Um... Spunkman 3: Spunks On Me!
Mo: That one's already been said too, it's Spunk Harder.
Hugh: Well as Spunkman, I feel like I have the final say in this.
Mo: Well as Hermoine Granger, I feel like your argument is invalid.
Dylan: Wait wait, I got it I got it, Spunk 14: Wet Dream!
Hugh: Ugh.
Mo: What? Hahahaha...
Dylan: Heh.
Mo: Spunkman 4: The Revenge Of The *Censored with dolphin noises*! Hahaha!
Dylan: Oh God, that's gross.
Mo: Oh God... I got um, uranium ore.
Dylan: Oh my goodness no, put that down, remember that whole like uh...
Mo: Yeah isn't it radioactive?
Hugh: Uh, yeah I think so.
Mo: So wait, how will it actually like, will it do anything? Will it give you poisoning?
Hugh: I don't think it will do anything until you put it into something. Like me.
Dylan: It's harder for you to breath, and eventually a meltdown occurs.
Mo: Mmmmmmmm, put it into my little something.
Dylan: Sneaky something.
Mo: Yeah.
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: Lil' somethin somethin mmmmmm...
Mo: Hey I found some emeralds.
Hugh: Nice. Well I'm gonna come back and try and help you guys.
Mo: Hey Yoshi do you remember this song? "You can find them in jungles and desert temples!"
Hugh: I do.
Dylan: Yoshi do you remember this song? Swagger Jagger!
Hugh: Fuck you!
Mo: No, the freaking Minecraft rap we did for 1.5.
Dylan: Yeah I remember that. Mo let's go up, there's like a desert upstairs.
Mo: "We're in Minecraft! 1.4!"
Hugh: 1.3.
Dylan: That's an outdated rap guys, you need to update your rap to have bats in it. Yoshi you're really slow aren't you?
Hugh: Yeah, but I'm sticking to the original rap, because the original one is better.
Mo: So you're the original, G?
Hugh: He's the certain of the orginal, Jesus Christ is- I'm not even gonna bleep that.
Mo: Hahahahaha! It's okay, you didn't finish it you know.
Hugh: *Censored with dolphin noises*
Dylan: Why?
Mo: Why would you do that to Jesus?!
Hugh: Hahahahahahahaha!
Mo: Why?
Dylan: That's gross, shut up.
The following fan fiction is rated M for Mature! Contents include Inappropriateness, Fallic Objects, Extreme Spunk, Demonic Girl Sounds, and Sex apparently!
Dylan: Alright stop talking.
Hugh: Spunkman Episode 69 with a special guest!
Mo: Can you please stop? I'm not even gonna edit this anymore! You know what, we're done.
Hugh: Hahahahahah!
Dylan: Everyone's gonna know the deviant that is YoshitoMario.
Hugh: *Makes rolling sounds with his tongue* I think you mean Spunkman.
Dylan: Oh my goodness.
Mo: That sound effect completely aptly went with it.
Hugh: Heh heh heh!
Dylan: It's one of those demonic girl sounds.
Mo: Heh. *Makes rolling sounds with his tongue* Hahahahah!
Hugh: Hahaha!
Mo: The Demonic Girl Strikes Back, Episode 5! Hehe! This is... Spunkboy Episode 5: Revenge of the Demon Girl!
Dylan: Heh.
Mo: Attack of the Demon Girl Clones, something, Star Wars.
Dylan: No alright I got one. Spunkman Episode Sex! That's number 6.
Hugh: Oh my.
Mo: Except it's spelled with an E.
Dylan: Yeah, I said it.
Mo: Dylan.
Dylan: Yeah?
Mo: Jokes on you, I don't have a dick.
Hugh: Whoa.
Dylan: Tekkit Season 2 with even more inappropriate things than before!
Mo: Hahaha!
Dylan: Tell your parents! R rated! PG-13!
Hugh: Get your parents to message Mo and complain.
Mo: I'm gonna put a little disclaimer on this one, ahem...
Hugh: Spangro!
What Hugh just said is what I was censoring in the previous chapters.
Dylan: Season 2 has found a way to become even more phallic, what the hell is wrong with you? You're gonna have little kids searching that up, it's not right!
Mo: Well I'm gonna, see this is why I originally meant to bleep this out, but now there's just too many.
Dylan: Mo seriously, where did you go?
Mo: Um, I kept going down further.
Dylan: Can you find me?
Hugh: OK that's what she said on Spangro. Um, so I'm gonna drop down and try to find you guys, I have absolutely no idea which cave you went down.
Dylan: I can help you, there's like a desert, I'm trying to find a desert.
Hugh: I see some torches.
Dylan: Aaah! I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die.
Hugh: Cough cough...
Mo: Alright I'm gonna head back, I have a full stack of 64.
Dylan: Mo, you're gonna see some dirt, and uh, can you like help me please?
Mo: Uh, I have no idea where you are dude.
Dylan: Ah...
Mo: I'm almost out of my pickaxe.
Hugh: Oh I see you, okay.
Dylan: OK try to find me please.
Mo: Try to find Dylan, because I'm good.
Dylan: Yoshi I see you.
Hugh: OK.
Mo: What?
Dylan: Yoshi you're right there, you're right there.
Hugh: The hell?
Dylan: I have half a heart.
Hugh: What are you d- sigh...
Dylan: I'm sorry, um, the bullies, they took away my clothes. Please stop please stop please stop! Give me some food.
Mo: What the heck happened? What are you talking about? Why are people missing clothing in this?
Hugh: That's so weird.
Dylan: The bullies at school are really rampant. Don't give me raw pork.
Hugh: Well just eat it, whore.
Mo: Don't call him that, he's a nice boy.
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: Well what am I?
Mo: Not nice.
Dylan: Demonic girl.
Mo: DJ Not Nice.
Dylan: Hahahahahah! Alright I'm just gonna wait in here and regen.
Mo: Oh no my pick broke.
Hugh: *Makes rolling sounds with his tongue*
Mo: Stop!
Hugh: *Makes rolling sounds with his tongue*
Mo: Stop! Also you're echoing, not anymore apparently. Just when I go Stop, OK not anymore. Dude I found some blue! I found some blue.
Dylan: I love blue.
Mo: What is this called?
Dylan: Blues Clues.
Mo: Let me see, lead ore. I was gonna say leed, but then I realized.
Hugh: Blue is Spunkman's worst enemy.
Dylan: Heh.
Mo: Actually it could be leed because it doesn't very much look like lead. Is lead an ore, or do you just- how is lead made?
Dylan: Lead is used in paints and certain pencils so that kids can choke on them.
Hugh: Choke on dicks. Fuck the kids.
Dylan: What is wrong with you?
Mo: Hugh?
Hugh: Hehehehe, that's a thing from my streams.
Dylan: Liar.
Mo: What kind of things do you teach on your streams?!
Hugh: Hahahahahahahaha!
Dylan: Yoshi's Sunday morning cartoons!
Hugh: We have a running hashtag just literally called Fuck the kids!
Mo: What kids?!
Hugh: Hahaha I don't know!
Mo: Why would you ever do that to kids?! That's not... maybe in the UK, or maybe you know, your countries.
Hugh: What kind of place do you think the UK is like for real?
Dylan: A really savage place apparently.
Hugh: Heh!
Mo: Well, they came out with you, so...
Hugh: Wooooooow.
Dylan: Ooooooh.
Hugh: OK.
Dylan: Yoshi where'd you go? Yoshi where'd you go?
Hugh: Ran away from you.
Dylan: I see you.
Mo: Get slain butt-muncher!
Hugh: Fuck the kids! Hehehehahaha!
Mo: Please refrain from using this hashtag when referring to the Tekkit series, thank you.
Dylan: Yoshi Yoshi, wait wait wait, I saw your nametag, come on!
Hugh: It's just so, seriously like, it's just the best thing to like whip out in any conversation!
Dylan: No it's not, it's very inappropriate and rude!
Hugh: Heheheheheheheh!
Mo: Also just completely weird.
Dylan: Yoshi wait up, Yoshi wait up!
Hugh: I'm gonna do it in my next class, like we'll be talking about like, acting or something like in drama, and I'll just be like, Yo man! Fuck the kids!
Dylan: That's not right, you don't do that!
Hugh: It is right, it's brilliant.
Mo: Ahem...
Dylan: Aaaah! Oh it's you.
Hugh: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Mo: Hehehehehe! Hahaha! There go the demon laughs!
Dylan: Heh!
Hugh: Hahahaha!
Mo: He's calling out to his bretheren! Dylan run!
Dylan: It's Beyonce!
Mo: Abandon the wives!
Hugh: He looked at me, and he genuinely like took a step back out of scaredness.
Mo: PurpleRodri's sexual desires are coming back!
Dylan: Hahaha!
Mo: Hahahahahaha!
Dylan: Oh my God I forgot about that!
Mo: Hahaha! Hahahahahahahahaha! Oh Jesus...
Dylan: Mo we're still reminiscing.
Hugh: That's good.
Dylan: There you are.
Mo: I'm scared.
Dylan: Mo where are you? You've been all on your own.
Mo: Dude I'm collecting random ores.
Dylan: Oh here's where all the iron is, thank you.
Mo: We're all just mining away at our lives.
Dylan: Can you give me a pick, Yoshi?
Hugh: Uh, do I have a spare pick? Yes I do. Fuck the kids!
Mo: Dude I've gotten- STOP IT! STOP!!!
5 minutes later...
Hugh: Try it out.
Mo: Stop! Please stop!
Hugh: Give it a go.
Mo: Please stop!
Dylan: Yoshi, you're gonna get so many children grounded, they're not gonna be able to read our fan fiction.
Hugh: Heh heh, oh shit.
Mo: Please stop. Hahaha! I'm gonna tell on your mom!
Hugh: Man, my mom is the biggest kid fucker.
Mo: Sorry, I said mom, not mum.
Dylan: WHAT? WHAT?! You're even calling out your mom?!
Hugh: I don't know now.
Mo: Hugh I'm pretty sure your mom does not appreciate you saying that on our fan fiction.
Hugh: I'm just letting anything that comes out of my mouth, just don't even you dare say anything about that.
Mo: Mmmmmm! Oh damn oh damn! Mmmmm all that shit coming out of yo mouth boi!
Hugh: Heh heh heh!
Dylan: Dayum!
Mo: Hee hee. Hmmmm dayum gurl!
Dylan: Ooh gurl why you actin' so cray cray?
Mo: Actin' why you actin' so cray?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Hehehehehehehe.
Hugh: I've be fucked up the British, but this is my world gurl!
Mo: There goes all of our kids, all of our...
Dylan: All of our kids, Mo was taken away by Child Services.
Mo: Heh heh heh, all of our snazzy lady readers! Heh heh.
Dylan: Oh right, the female readers left.
Mo: Oh yeah, they left a long time ago.
Dylan: Oh yeah, that was during the Nether chapter.
Hugh: Bullshit like we've ever had any.
Dylan: No we did have a few, they mentioned they're like, we're still here, well now you're gone.
Hugh: Fuck kids!
Mo: Gurl! Hahahahahaha!
Dylan: Mmmmmmm gurl!
Mo: I got my mang some shoes!
Dylan: Hahaha!
Hugh: Haha!
Mo: I got him some Gucci glasses!
Hugh: Guuci glasses!
Dylan: Never say that again.
Mo: Some prada shoes! Mmmmmm gurl!
Hugh: Some Gucci glasses!
Mo: And some prada shoes dude.
Hugh: Yeah I like the Gucci glasses.
Dylan: Alright guys, where you at?
Mo: Ahem... I'm really far down in this cave.
Hugh: Yeah I'm quite far down as well.
Dylan: I just heard an explosion.
Mo: Uh, that was, wait really? Then you're near me.
Dylan: No, I'm like really high up.
Mo: Well something just exploded near me.
Dylan: OK.
Mo: Unless you somehow heard it through my phone.
Dylan: No it was definitely through mine.
Mo: Well then you are close to me friend.
Dylan: OK friend. Yoshi can you like come back up to where you were and like get me? Cause I don't know how to get down there, and I'm almost dead, or not almost dead.
Hugh: Yeah okay, I was searching for diamonds, but yeah I'll come.
Mo: Wait really? I haven't found any diamonds yet.
Hugh: I don't even need to find diamonds, I've got that block of 9.
Mo: Oh yeah, alright alright, I'm coming towards you soon.
Continued in Chapter 26!
________________________________________________
Chapter 26
Finding Dylan
________________________________________________
Current Date: May 28th 2013
Days Stranded: 294
Last time on Tekkit, more naughty jokes were made! And Hugh is to blame for all of this!
Hugh: I see you I think.
Mo: Really? OK then that's...
Hugh: I think it's you.
Mo: Cause I don't know how Dylan heard the explosion.
Hugh: No I don't think it's you.
Mo: What if it's like another person that just randomly got on our fan fiction?
Hugh: Dude that would be fucking freaky, especially if it's a 3 slot story.
Mo: Yeah what if there's NPCs on this or something?
Hugh: Not with nametags.
Mo: No but what if they do though? You never know.
Dylan: Aah I'm being shot by a skelly.
Mo: Like a random caveman or something with the name Jocks.
Dylan: Jocques Vince Gandalf
Mo: Jocques... what's a kind of jock's last name?
Hugh: With the name Jocks Rocks.
Dylan: Jocques Sacre le Bleu.
Mo: Jocks Rocks, heh heh.
Hugh: You clearly aren't, no.
Mo: I'm not picking up on it, I'm sorry.
Dylan: Yeah I think I- what?
Mo: I dunno, I'm not picking up on it, sorry.
Hugh then snuck up behind Mo and then...
Hugh: BOO!
Mo: AAAAAAAH!!! OH GOD!
Hugh: KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Dylan: See, Yoshi just scares people! Look at this!
Hugh: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Mo: Do you hear that demonic laugh?! He's like the hyenas from Lion King!
Hugh: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Mo: Look! It's like literally!
Dylan: I know.
Hugh: Haaaaaa...
Dylan: I hear that.
Mo: Where is the lion, freaking Scar!
Hugh: Haaaaaa...
Mo: Jesus get out of here!
Dylan: No wonder you hung out with Jay at PAX so much!
Mo: Wait why?
Dylan: Because he's Scar from The Lion King
Mo: Why is Jay Scar from The Lion King?
Hugh: Mo, were you genuinely scared there?
Mo: Uh, a little bit.
Hugh: Hahaha, that's fucking- I've done it to Dylan twice!
Dylan: No but you didn't even do it intentionally, you were just there and you scared me!
Hugh: No it's good because you'd think in like real life you might do like a double take and just look around and get scared, but you both do it in this fan fiction! Like I see your characters freak out.
Dylan: Because my hand spasms.
Mo: Yeah your hand moves because you jump.
Hugh: I know it's the best thing, it's hilarious!
Dylan: Can you guys come find me please?
Hugh: Ahahaha...
Mo: Dylan, you sounded a little sneaky there!
Dylan: A little creeped.
Mo: A little crazed.
Hugh: Like, Mo where did you even go after I scared you?
Mo: Not near you.
Dylan: I've literally been standing here for the past 10 minutes waiting for one of you guys.
Mo: Wait, really?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: I don't know where you- Yoshi said he saw you.
Dylan: By a waterfall.
Hugh: I saw you after all.
Mo: Well...
Hugh: I still don't know where you went.
Mo: Stand still, I'm gonna find you.
Hugh: Me?
Mo: We're gonna go together and find Dylan. Yes you!
Hugh: I'll scare you again.
Mo: OK where are you though? I can't see you.
Dylan: I'm just on the upper level.
Hugh: Oh no I think I see you, you're quite far away, I'm still where I scared you where you freaked out your shit.
Mo: Wait, seriously? Cause I don't remember walking that far away from there. Oh there you are.
Hugh: Yeah you see me.
Dylan: Oh wow, I thought you guys were talking about me.
Hugh: Oh my God, I'm gonna keep scaring you, that was great.
Mo: Oh my goodness, 2 zombies. This zombie came up and grabbed this other zombies hand!
Dylan: Wait was he near water?
Mo: Um, no.
Dylan: I see your nametags!
Mo: Wait, really?
Dylan: Yeah I see them.
Mo: Where are you?
Hugh: I don't see yours.
Dylan: Dang it, I gotta go through all these zombies.
Hugh: I see Mo's.
Mo: 2 zombies just dropped from like water. Oh hey look some more nutsacks.
Dylan: I see you guys.
Mo: Hold on, I picked up another nutsack. Where are you, Dylan? Are you above us?
Dylan: Um...
Mo: I see Hugh Murrell.
Hugh: Oh no I see him, yeah.
Mo: Where is he?
Hugh: He's really really far away.
Dylan: Oh God, I accidently angered the beast. I angered the beast I angered the beast I angered the beast!
Mo: Don't die don't die! Please don't die! If you die, you're screwed actually, we're not. I picked up so much stuff in this, holy crap! This has been a very fruitful adventure.
Hugh: Yeah man, Fuck the kids!
Mo: Dude!
Hugh: Hehehehehe!
Mo: Hi. No scaring me this time.
Hugh: Heh.
Mo: Mr. Spunk.
Hugh: BOO!
Mo: Ahhhhh.
Hugh: Aw it didn't work though.
Mo: Alright, let's go find Dylan.
Hugh: Don't worry, I'll get you later.
Mo: Come on, let's go find Dolan! Come on! DOLAN!
Hugh: DOLAN!
Mo: Dolan!
Hugh: Where you at bro!
Mo: Dolan! I'm getting some emeralds.
Dylan: I'm fighting some zombies behind cobblestone.
Hugh: Oh okay, dude, Mo look at this! This is like a weird tunnel down!
Mo: Hold on, I got some more lead.
Hugh: Look at this.
Mo: Wait where, this?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Ew what the heck? I'm gonna go down here.
Dylan: What the heck?
Mo: Ow.
Hugh: I like how we completely forgot about finding him already, that's good.
Mo: Finding Nemo Part 2: Finding Dylan.
Hugh: Ewww. That's disgusting.
Dylan: Alright, I killed all these guys.
Mo: I love how uh, dude I'm so focused on finding Dylan right now. Oh God!
Dylan: I heard that explosion.
Mo: I thought that was me, and that was you apparently.
Hugh: Aaaaa diamonds! Diamonds!
Mo: Wait really? How the heck do you find these near me?!
Dylan: How the heck?
Mo: And I don't find any ever!
Hugh: I found 2 more diamonds, I've got 11 diamonds so far!
Mo: Where did you even go?
Hugh: Secrets.
Mo: I don't even know where you went. OK I see you now though. Wait...
Dylan: I see a torch, I see a torch.
Mo: Wait these aren't diamonds, these are quartz crystals.
Hugh: No I found diamonds, I can show them to you.
Mo: Hello. I know you found diamonds but...
Hugh: Let me show you my diamonds.
Mo: I don't care about your dimonds!
Hugh: Look, diamonds!
Dylan: Dang this entire place is lit up.
Mo: Lit up with fire. Light em up girl!
Dylan: Oh God a creeper, oh God a creeper, oh God a creeper!
Mo: At least I keep finding other stuff, I haven't found diamonds, but I found a fair share of things and such.
Hugh: I think we should start to head back soon, honestly.
Dylan: I think you should try to help find me!
Mo: Yeah well we are trying to find Dylan.
Hugh: No to be honest, I'm really not.
Mo: Dylan, in relation to- oh neither am I. Hahaha!
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: In relation to the mini map, where are you? Are you near the desert or are you near the ice?
Hugh: I'm just like, Mo you're talking shit, you're finding diamonds right now.
Dylan: I'm near the snow right now.
Mo: Do you see the desert at all?
Dylan: Alright, my coordianates are negative 900-
Hugh: BOO!
Dylan: What?
Mo: Um...
Hugh: Aw shit it didn't work.
Mo: You're not supposed to go BOO, you're supposed to wait for me to turn around and see you, and then you do it.
Hugh: Oh okay. Is that what I did last time? I can't remember what I did.
Mo: Yes.
Hugh: There was so much hysterics that I forgot.
Mo: Yes that is what you did.
Dylan: I am regenning cause I'm almost dead. And there's a lot of stuff here, you know what screw this, I'm gonna climb my way to the top.
Mo: Started from the cave now we're here at the top!
Dylan: Dancin' silly by a car.
Mo: Now I'm dancin' silly by a car! No it's dancin' stupid.
Dylan: Alright.
Mo & Hugh: Boo.
Hugh: Aw shit.
Mo: Did you find more diamonds?
Hugh: I didn't find any.
Mo: Hey look, emerald.
Hugh: I've got enough paper in my pocket to make bank so I can...
Mo: Make bank?
Hugh: I'm talking gangster.
Mo: Alright, I found some redstone, which we're clearly going to need.
Dylan: Oh great, yeah that's nice, I just found a monster dungeon.
Mo: Really?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Hey look, lapis, pick that up Yoshi.
Hugh: Yo, lapis yo! I pick it up, pick it down, pick it all around, put my dick inside it and flick it around!
Mo: Uh...
Hugh: Heh! That was dark.
Mo: Uhhhh... um... uh, hahahah.
Hugh: Heh heh.
Mo: So you know that line that I said in Who Can?
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: Yeah that line is nonexistant here.
Hugh: Heh.
Mo: Clearly.
Hugh: Of course. Heh heh heh. Man fuck the kids!
Dylan: I found an enchanted book, some tin...
Mo: What's an enchanted book?
Dylan: I dunno.
Mo: Do you eat it?
Dylan: Maybe.
Hugh: Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Mo: Nobody wants to be a fetus.
Hugh: I wanna be a fetus, I think that would be fun.
Mo: Um, maybe. So if we were to find diamonds anywhere, this would be the kind of place that would have some.
Hugh: This would be. OH I FOUND SOME! YOU'RE KIDDING ME!
Mo: I hate you.
Hugh: Hahahahahahaha!
Dylan: I'm pretty sure Yoshi just spawns these things and hacks.
Mo: Look, I'm just legit like right next to you, and like...
Hugh: I dig behind a block as you say if we were to find diamonds, and I find 4 diamonds.
Mo: Like this is legit what I mean! Like, how do I win How Can, I dunno.
Hugh: Yeah like, on any other series, I would easily beat you.
Dylan: Clearly not.
Mo: Well that's why you suck.
Hugh: Ahem, it's true.
Mo: It's true that you suck?
Hugh: On Spangros.
Mo: Alright. Thank you for reading Tekkit! Uh, tomorrow we're gonna destroy some-
Hugh: AAAAAAH!!!
Mo: Oh God, what was that?
Dylan: Heh.
Hugh: A creeper.
Mo: Why did you yell that way?
Hugh: Cause I'm scared. I thought it was gonna blow up.
Mo: Oh there it is.
Hugh: And then the lava would-
Mo: Well it's in water, so it wouldn't even blow up.
Hugh: Oh okay, I didn't know that. I take back my girly scream.
Dylan: Oh yeah, you can take that one back.
Mo: You can take that one back.
Hugh: Exactly, that's what I want to. Aaaah!
Mo: Stop it.
Hugh: That was less girly, so that's okay. I found some uranium, yay.
Dylan: You found some uranium?
Hugh: No.
Mo: Uhhhh Dylan, I thought we were gonna save that.
Dylan: OK.
Mo: For a little bit later.
Dylan: Yeah for when I get a toilet.
Mo: What?
Hugh: What?
Mo: A toilet?
Dylan: Can't we make a toilet?
Mo: Maybe.
Hugh: Probably.
Mo: Hugh, Google search!
Hugh: OK hold on, I don't even need to-
Mo: Google, can you make a toilet in this fan fiction?
Hugh: No you can't make a toilet.
Mo: Wait how do we figure this out?
Hugh: Maybe it's called a poop station, let me check.
Mo: Maybe it's called scrub the poopdeck.
Hugh: No it's not called a poop station. A shame.
Dylan: Alright, I'm kinda making my way up.
Mo: It would be a shame if I were to fall in lava right now. Oh God a skeleton, okay that is the thing that would knock me into lava of course as I say it.
Hugh: Well I got 6 diamonds on top of the other 9 we've got at home, so I think it's a bigger save for me.
Dylan: What time is it?
Hugh: Adventure Time!
Mo: Alright should we go home now? So we successfully found Dylan right? Yeah? OK?
Dylan: Screw you guys.
Hugh: I think we should go home though honestly, yeah.
Mo: Alright, let's go then.
Hugh: K.
Mo: Good adventure though, good adventure.
Hugh: Where you at bro?
Dylan: Um, I'll meet you guys at home, I had to climb to the surface.
Mo: You're already at the surface?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Alright, I'm gonna try to make my way to the surface.
Dylan: Wow, I'm back at the entrance to this cave.
Mo: And as I make my way to the entrance, I will collect anything that I find. Uh Hugh, I see you.
Hugh: OK.
Mo: Um, I see your feet.
Hugh: Oh okay.
Mo: Go down. Down down, hi.
Hugh: I'm gonna go home.
Mo: Wait, what? You're gonna ditch me?
Hugh: Yeah, I'm noob towering.
Mo: No!
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: OK so I'm in a desert.
Mo: Oh shoot I'm at level 26 already.
Hugh: Ahem, I'm 16.
Dylan: I think I found a desert temple.
Mo: Yeah, I think I'm standing right above a desert temple.
Hugh: Dylan what level are you at bro?
Dylan: Uhh, 65.
Hugh: You're kidding.
Mo: Wait, seriously?
Dylan: I found like a desert mausoleum.
Mo: Wait really?
Hugh: Fo sho mah Tigga.
Mo: Is that like from Winnie the Pooh?
Hugh: Yeah dude you need to go and watch my latest Hunger Games Challenge. It was the Tigger Challenge, and I just started swearing up, like yo wassup mah Tigga!
Dylan: Wow this guy's like self-promoting. Hey Yoshi you should watch my latest episode of Pokemon HeartGold, only on my channel that you can find, subscribe like and ehh.
Hugh: I don't want to! That's a challenge of whores!
Mo: Pokemon is for girls.
Hugh: Yeah exactly, who loves Pokemon?
Dylan: That's why your channel is based around it.
Mo: Yeah because I like women and so I want to attract women to my channel, so that I may later say: "Hey, are you a good looking girl that is over the age of 20 so that I don't go to jail and stuff?" What?
Hugh: Murder.
Dylan: Desperate calls from MunchingOrange. Alright I found this, oh my goodness this is so cool!
Mo: What did you find? The desert mausoleum? Why am I still mining?! Seriously like this is, see Dylan, this is the OCD that I was referring to. When I just continuously mine and I don't stop and then I'm like, I should go home cause my inventory's like literally full.
Dylan: You know what you guys should do? You guys should come and help me.
Hugh: No I'm already heading home, oh I see you!
Dylan: Yes!
Mo: Wait seriously?
Dylan: Yoshi look at this.
Hugh: I love desert temples, and we made a rap about it, which will now play with Mo editing.
Mo: "Did you see that new block? It's emerald ores. Trade it with villagers just like a real store. But finding emeralds is not so simple. You can find them in jungle and desert temples."
Hugh: And then you can rub your temples, bitch.
Continued in the Final Chapter!
________________________________________________
Chapter 27 (Final Chapter)
El Desert
________________________________________________
Current Date: May 30th 2013
Days Stranded: 296
Last time on Tekkit, Mo and Hugh went through the trouble of finding Dylan. And now, it's time for the finale...
Dylan: Dude look at this, let's dig it out of the sand at least. Can you give me a shovel?
Hugh: I don't have a shovel, however... I'm gonna go get one.
Mo: Trying to make it out, hold on, I'm noob towering up.
Dylan: No don't break the- don't break the- ow.
Mo: What happened?
Dylan: Broke my legs.
Hugh: Lol.
Mo: How'd you break your legs?
That's what I want to know! (Dylan's lying of course)
Dylan: Dude it's like buried and stuff, cool. I'm gonna actually dig this out. Let's just make a chest here for a second, and let's dig this out.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: I'm noob towering out, oh shoot I found some stuff.
Hugh: You can find them in jungle and desert temple.
Mo: Hugh stop it!
Hugh: No! We made that rap together!
Mo: Bop it! Flick it! Suck it! Now turn around!
Dylan: Do you have any wood, Yoshi? So we can make uh...
Hugh: Dude I always got wood, 24-7 bro.
Mo: Damn it, my pick broke.
Hugh: OK well I am playing it quite risky.
Dylan: Oh my goodness this is so cool!
Mo: What?
Hugh: Dylan don't go down there!
Dylan: I know I know, I won't.
Hugh: You know how these work, right?
Mo: Wait, is it the thing in the center where if you like break it you all die?
Hugh: Yeah we're gonna try and do this, I've got a tactic.
Mo: Hold on can I be there? Please, just wait for me.
Dylan: Yeah wait for Mo, wait for Mo.
Hugh: Yeah.
Mo: I'm literally trying to noob tower my way out of here, but I ran out of pick.
Dylan: I hate when that happens.
Mo: Oh God, alright gravel, thank you for falling on top of me, this is wonderful.
Hugh: Achoo!
Mo: Alright more gravel, thank you. Alright here we go... there we go... I'm almost there guys, I think! Oh God I hear rain, is it raining?
Mo dug up, but then terrible fate came! Sand fell on top of Mo and he started suffocating!
Mo: Oh God! No! Nonononono! I'm suffocating! GUYS!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!!!
Hugh: What can we do?
Dylan: What are your coordianates? What are your coordianates?
Hugh: Oh God.
Dylan: Are we gonna have to put you back in the fan fiction like we did back in the Nether?
Mo: Um, no, I can get back on and give you my coordinates really fast, OK?
Dylan: Alright.
Mo: Ready?
Dylan: Hm-mm.
Hugh: No.
Mo: Ready?
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: No.
Mo: Um, I'm not dying anymore.
Dylan: Just push them, push them.
Mo: Oh! X is negative 1032, Y 55- fuck!
MUNCHINGORANGE SUFFOCATED IN A WALL!
Mo: I just died.
Dylan: Negative 1032, Y was what?
Mo: Um, I think my items will still be there right?
Dylan: Yeah. Negative 1032...
Mo: Oh it shows my death point, I'm good, I'll go walk there. Wait, how the heck did I die...? We just- we went in a giant circle! We're still on the same island that our house is at.
Hugh: Yeah we are.
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: How?
Dylan: I dunno.
Hugh: I've already been back to the house, it's weird.
Mo: Well I'm just gonna run and hopefully my stuff is there.
Dylan: Alright, what's your coordianates? I can go there immediately.
Mo: Negative 1032, Y was 55, but I don't know what the Z was so I can't tell you for sure. I know it was near like, there was just a black dot in the map.
Dylan: Negative 1032...
Mo: And it was near the water.
Dylan: Alright.
Mo: It was in the desert, clearly from the sand also.
Dylan: Hm-mmm.
Mo: Maybe. Ahem... uh, so we're like 500 meters away from our house, it's actually a pretty long walk.
Hugh: It's not that bad, it took me like 5 minutes maybe.
Mo: I'll just keep running. Oh I remember this desert, we came here once and we were like, "Hey this is a desert."
Dylan: I remember that conversation.
Mo: Yeah, right?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: And then I turned around and I died to a cactus?
Dylan: Hm-mmm, that did happen.
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: Yoshi are you waiting for Mo?
Hugh: No.
Mo: Oh it's raining, okay I'm near. I'm 20- or 200 away actually. Hey I see someone's nametag!
Dylan: That's me.
Mo: Are you in the hole that I died or are you just down?
Dylan: No I'm just above it. Where are you?
Mo: I'm going to my death point.
Dylan: I see you.
Mo: Where are you?
Dylan: I think...
Mo: Oh you're in the desert temple. Cool.
Dylan: There you are.
Mo: Well I'm going to where I died.
Dylan: There you are!
Mo: Hey Dylan!
Dylan: Hi Mo.
Mo: Yoshi's the one in the desert temple.
Hugh: Yeah, that's me.
Mo: This way, Dylan.
Dylan: Where are you? Oh there you are, I was looking at a dead tree, and it was orange colored.
Mo: I really hope my items are still there.
Hugh: They should be, they won't have despawned that quickly.
Mo: Oh wait what the heck? Look at where they- they're on the surface! What?!
Hugh: Yeah they float to the top.
Mo: They're scattered all over the surface! Dylan don't pick them up, they're mine.
Dylan: I'll help you, I'm helping you pick them up.
Mo: Nooooooooo! ...Hey we did it.
Hugh: I can't even see your nametags.
Mo: I need food.
Dylan: My inventory's full. Alright Mo, I'll lead you to the desert temple.
Mo: Some stuff actually fell in the water.
Dylan: Wow.
Mo: Why did it scatter so far?
Dylan: Mo look, see this dead tree here?
Mo: No literally, my entire inventory- look, there's more stuff all the way down here!
Dylan: Yeah I have a bunch of stuff in mine. Alright Mo, see this dead tree here?
Mo: Oh God, oh God oh God oh God I need to make it out of the water! Come on come on come on come on! Aaaaaaaaaaahh... I made it.
Dylan: Mo see this dead tree here?
Mo: Yes?
Dylan: I was walking towards one of these thinking it was you. But anyways, in other news let's go to the desert temple.
Mo: Aaaaah. OK well I need some food.
Dylan: Don't worry about that. You don't need food where we-
Mo: You have some right?
Dylan: I have one piece of steak, here you go.
Mo: That was mine, so give it to me because it is mine.
Dylan: K.
Mo: Do you have all my ruby tools?
Dylan: Yeah I have all of your crap, I don't have any ruby tools. I have sapphire, oh here.
Mo: A sapphire pick, right?
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Give me it, it was mine.
Dylan: Alright, come on.
Mo: Thank you. Now I'll eat...
Hugh: I'm gonna go home.
Mo: Why are you going back home? I thought we were gonna explore the temple as our last adventure?
Hugh: Oh okay yeah.
Mo: The last crusade maybe. Bum-bum-buuuh bum bum-bum-bum buuuuh bum bada-ba-buuuuum~
Hugh: Bada-ba-bum! Spunkman!
Mo: No it was Star Wars, not freaking Spunkman.
Hugh: Yeah but everything is Spunkman, Spunkman is that cool.
Mo: Where are you? Did you already explore the desert temple?
Hugh: No.
Mo: Oh, I thought...
Dylan: Mo go down this hole here.
Mo: Nope, I'll go down this one.
Dylan: OK.
Mo: Hi. Oooooh, look at this. Look at Hugh's wonderful strategy.
Hugh built a staircase down into the hidden treasure room in the temple.
Mo: Which he clearly already got down there.
Hugh: BOO! Aaaah, did I scare ya?
Mo: I thought you were back home.
Hugh: No I tried to fool ya.
Mo: So all you did was lie to us.
Hugh: Yeah I'm sorry. Ow!
Dylan: What the heck?
Hugh: Does this make you feel better?
Mo: Well you could have just used this strategy.
Mo was digging down to the treasure room, rather than creating a path.
Hugh: Well now Dylan got it, which is great. It's all gonna go in the same chest anyway, I think we've got 18 diamonds now.
Dylan: What were in these chests, Yoshi?
Hugh: Ummmm, I left some of the stuff, there was 3 diamonds which are in my inventory which we'll put in a diamond chest later.
Dylan: Oh boy a bronze helmet.
Hugh: Uh, there was a bronze helmet, there was a bronze chestplate as well if you want that.
Mo: Wait, there's bronze?
Hugh: Yeah. Let me throw down the bronze chestplate now, check that out.
Mo: Did I pick it up? Ooh, bronze chestplate! Oooh, look at me, I'm a shiny! Oh God, wait was there a full set of bronze armor then?
Hugh: Uh, there weren't legs, but there was everything else.
Mo: How do you get bronze in this? I haven't found any bronze I don't think. Or I've just not been paying attention.
Dylan: Mo what are you doing?
Mo: Oh yeah, bronze is like you combine tin and copper, right?
Hugh: Yeah.
Dylan: Hm-mmm.
Mo: Something like that...
Hugh: Uh, and there was one last interesting thing...
Mo: Did you get everything, Dylan?
Hugh: OK, it's like a treasure map or something.
Mo: Yeah?
Hugh: I dunno what it is, it says it's Page 8960, and it just looks like it's got a map on it.
Mo: Alright, well we will check that out soon.
Hugh: We will.
Mo: Once you hand that to me.
Hugh: There you go.
Dylan: What?
Mo: What?
Hugh: Just saying there you go, there's a path way up you idiot.
Dylan: Alright, well it's nighttime, let's try and go home now.
Hugh: OK, it's just a quick run, let's do this.
Dylan: Can you give me a little food, buddy?
Hugh: I ate the last of my food.
Dylan: That's great.
Mo: Alright, good exploration of this desert temple guys, everybody's done a great job so far, I'm glad that you are all so dumb and such. Um...
Hugh: Well done.
Mo: Yeah. Let's go back home!
Hugh: Congratulations! Follow me. Uh, do you guys have a way point for home yet?
Dylan: No.
Mo: Nope.
Hugh: OK well follow me.
Mo: Following the Hugh, the Hugh, the Hugh, punching Dylan in cactuses almost!
Dylan: Please don't.
Hugh: Lol.
Dylan: Don't forget items break against cactuses, come on.
Mo: Oh yeah that's what happened!
Hugh: I know, I thought that.
Mo: Let's go have a splash in it. I feel like I'm a new boy! I feel something in my butt though, something hot.
Dylan: Is it a thumb?
Mo: Uhh, not sure. Have we really gone full-circle Dylan? You ended off with what we started with.
Dylan: Yeah.
Hugh: He literally has done that.
Dylan: Now all we have to do is sing about Spunkman, guys I'm out of run.
Hugh: OK, well that's your loss.
Mo: I'm out of run.
Dylan: Heh heh.
Mo: That's so wonderful.
Hugh: The direction we're headed, just keep heading that way.
Dylan: Guys please stop, I'm out of run!
Mo: Hi Dylan.
Dylan: Hi.
Mo: Eat some pork.
Dylan: I don't have food.
Mo: Hey I got a diamond somehow!
Hugh: Yeah I gave it to you.
Mo: Wow.
Hugh: I felt sorry for you, you haven't found any diamonds yet.
Dylan: You think he takes handouts? You think he's some kind of charity?
Hugh: Yes.
Mo: Yeah I'm not a part of this system.
Hugh: It being complaining.
Dylan: Oh dude there's our volcano!
Mo: Oh it is, holy crap.
Hugh: Earlier about you know, not being able to have any-
Mo: Oh we're already here dude!
Dylan: Wait did you walk all the way over here anyways?
Mo: It took me really long when I walked.
Hugh: I'm out of run.
Mo: You're out of run too? We're all out of run now, I'm almost dead. Dude there's literally a cave right next to our house.
Dylan: Ah.
Mo: Do you guys seriously see this?
Dylan: Good thing we've never experienced this.
Hugh: Yeah screw that.
Mo: There's also black water.
Hugh: That's oil.
Dylan: Oh my goodness, no I fell! I fell!
Mo: The Battle of Blackwater Bay? Yeah.
Hugh: Pretty much. OK all of my stuff is in the chest. Nice.
Mo: This is going to be my man-cave of manliness. Oh God.
Dylan: I'll die to this skeleton.
Mo: Oh God. Can I get out of here anyway?
Dylan: Oh my goodness I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die.
Mo: There we go, I'm getting out of here.
JETHROTEX WAS EATEN BY A ZOMBIE!
Dylan: Yeah.
Mo: Dylan died. Yay! Hi Yoshi! I made it back!
Hugh: Hey! Welcome home honeybun!
Mo: That was a wonderful adventure, wouldn't you agree?
Hugh: I would.
Mo: There's a freaking zombie trying to break our door, and you're literally standing there doing nothing!
Hugh: Mo you're all shiny.
Mo: Look at- what the? Look at this!
Mo fought the zombies outside the front door!
Mo: Oh God, HUGH!
Hugh: Yeah?
Mo: You are literally standing there doing nothing!
Hugh: Heh heh heh.
Mo: Close the doors.
Hugh: That's what doors are for.
Mo: Why'd you pick up Dylan's stuff?
Dylan: Doesn't matter, just put it all in the chest.
Hugh: Oh is that where he died? Shit.
Mo: Heh, he died right in front of the door.
Hugh: I didn't even realize that.
Mo: He literally died like at the homestretch of getting home.
Hugh: OK well Dylan, I'm just gonna put all your stuff in the chest anyways.
Mo: I'm just gonna put everything in the same chest, and off-script, I, because no one else will-
Hugh: Mo can you give me your diamond?
Mo: It's in the chest.
Hugh: Oh okay.
Mo: So because no one else will, I off-script shall organize all the chests again, maybe.
Hugh: Hey Mo look in this chest over here, look at how many diamonds we got. This is the rare chest, this is where our rare shit is kept.
Dylan: Sigh...
Mo: Dude I'm literally like, after all of this, I'm at half a chicken and one and a half hearts.
Hugh: Look in this chest here.
Mo: No I'm putting other things in the chest.
Hugh: Well look in this chest here later.
Mo: Wait, what's the map that you got? Actually we'll just check it whenever we go to actually figure out what it is. Ooh 18! Ooh!
Hugh: Oh!
Dylan: Ooooh. I've got a bunch of saddles too.
Mo: Whoa look at that, look at this blackness.
Hugh: Right? Racist.
Mo: The Blackness Monster.
Hugh: Heh, the Black NESS Monster.
Dylan: Wait, did you even pick it up?
Mo: No you can't.
Hugh: No.
Dylan: Oh.
Mo: That sucks. Oh well. That has been Tekkit! Uh, I'm gonna go touch myself. What are you gonna do, Hugh?
Dylan: He's gonna put his thumb-
Hugh: I'm gonna watch Spangros!  Hee hee hee!
Dylan: Ohhh God. You have to change this to like Spongebob the Movie 3.
Mo: Fucking done. I'm fucking done! I'm done! See you later!
Next up is the Epilogue!
________________________________________________
Epilogue
________________________________________________
You should play this song while you read this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOFn0NiBMps
And so, all good things must come to an end. Mo, Dylan, and Hugh, after spending 296 days on the stranded island, they finally regained all of their lost memories. They remembered the fishing trip they went on just so they could skip a whole year of school! Now the 3 of them had to make a hard decision, should they stay on the island, or should they go back to their real homes?
Hugh decided he didn't want to be on this island anymore. He built himself a one-pilot plane with his Spunkman powers, and flew all the way back to Canterbury England. And then he met Japanese musician Showtaro Morikubo at a rock concert and they started dating, gawkers be damned!
Dylan decided to stay on the island, but he took all of his belongings and moved to another land. He settled in a calm grassy plains, there he built a farm and raised a bunch of chickens that he all named Jerry. He later filed a lawsuit against Mo and Hugh for killing his Jerries back in Chapter 10, but he couldn't go to a courthouse cause he was still on the island, so the trial has been put on hold to this very day.
Mo decided that the house he built with his friends was too cool-looking to abandon, so he decided to stay on the island. He lived out the rest of his days at the house, and he occasionally visited Dylan with a bottle of wine the 2 would use to wile the night away with long video game sessions. He later became a prolific yaoi doujinshi author, and his work is admired by many!
With that, Tekkit is now over.
Tekkit
The End
________________________________________________
Editor's Notes
Hi, I'm Zagiassassin, the author of this very long fanfiction. (I go by Zagiassassin on Youtube, but here I got by the persona of Spunkman!)
It took me from February 15th 2018 to May 18th 2018 to write all of this down. One of the reasons why I wrote this was because I've always wanted to create a story that could rival My Immortal in content! I'm confident to say that Tekkit is longer than My Immortal! And I know this because my story is about 462 KB in size, My Immortal is about 149 KB in size. So it's true, Tekkit is longer than My Immortal!
I must say, it'd be great if SomeOrdinaryGamers was reading this and laughing his ass off at all of the dumb shit that happened in Tekkit! And Mutahar, if you and your friends made it this far, then I should get you a trophy! Maybe a pizza trophy, lol. xD
I'll try and write more stories like this, but they won't be as long, I swear!
I don't wanna drag this on any longer than it needs too. Thank you all so much for reading, I'll see you all later in another edgy fan fiction! Goodbye.
I love you.
Just Monika. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgGpE3RzxJw
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Category:Jornel
Category:Minecrap
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Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
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Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
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