nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Asexual

Asexuals are people who, for some yet unknown reason, were born without the innate capacity to understand why lady lumps are so very lovely, or why anyone would go to the trouble of writing, performing or producing a song about how lovely they are - much less why such a song would be worthy of winning a Grammy. Though some people (mostly complete morons) simply believe being asexual is just an excuse for being ugly.
Asexuals are generally not interested in sex at all, even though many are in happy relationships, marriages, and committed partnerships. However, some do have sex, but rarely for any reason other than staying warm in the wintertime. 
Relationships between asexuals have a number of advantages, including a vastly reduced likelihood of having to spend many years corralling a herd of screaming brats through McDonald's drive-thrus and Wal-Mart.
== Famous Asexuals in Fiction and Literature ==
There are a number of suspected asexual fictional characters, including Arthur Martin from the show Six Feet Under, and Doctor Who. In addition, all Imaginationland residents are asexual.
== What to do if you think you may be asexual ==
If you are unsure whether or not you may be asexual, and are curious to know what sex is like without having to actually try it with someone, there are a number of ways this can be accomplished. Sex is an assault on nearly all of the senses, and can be simulated thusly:
*Sound: This can be approximated by repeatedly inserting a cucumber into a jar of mayonnaise.
*Smell: For this, you will need several ears of corn, a can of tuna, and either a scoop of used cat litter or a used diaper. Combine these ingredients in a trash bag, let sit at room temperature for 24-48 hours, then open the bag and take a whiff.
*Touch: Sneak into your local gym, steal several bodybuilder's sweat-soaked garments when they are not looking, take them home and wring them out all over yourself. For maximum effect, do this in conjunction with previous step.
*Sight: Watch a video clip of Terri Schiavo or Jim Carrey. This will give you some idea of the stupid facial expressions your partner will be making.
*Taste: Yeah... pretend this one is non-applicable for now.
If you are still curious to try sex after completing the above exercise, then you are most likely not asexual. If, on the other hand, you now wish to burn your genitals off with a flamethrower to prevent sex from ever happening to you, then there is a good chance you may be asexual. However, before you rush out to Flamethrowers 'R Us, you might want to visit this site and talk to other asexuals first, as Flamethrowers 'R Us offers group discounts: http://www.strait-a.net 
Category:Sex Category:Sexuality
Ashton-In-Makerfield

thumb|The skyline of Ashton-In-Makerfield is universally hailed as one of the greatest sights in the modern world.
Situated 5 miles from the arsehole of the world, Wigan, Ashton-in-Makerfield is more commonly know as the "Pre-anum of the world" Not quite as nasty but still not a nice place to spend any length of time.
== History ==
===Pre 1967=== 
The site where Ashton now sits used to be a effluance processing where the government deposited all the shit that nobody wanted. In the summer of 1967 it was decided by Harold Wilson's cabinet to build a utopian town where crime was nonexistent and society was peaceful. It was hoped that the rest of the country would take note and follow in their foot steps. Unfortuntely a spiraling budget and inept project management ment that this utopia fell short of its targets and became a half built crack-town.
===Post 1967===
It took a further 7 years to finish the project, and in 1974 the town was officially named, proposed names included Trumpton & Candle-Wick Green but it was descovered that these infringed on BBC copyrights filed 6 months earlier. Ashton-in-Makerfield was decided after it was suggested by a 6 year old boy.
Ashton had a rocky start with several disasters including a tornado, radioactive leak and a flood all with in the first year. Locals blame this on witch-craft after a Gypsie was apparently, accidentally covered in tarmac and rolled flat while the main street, Gerard St, was layed. The pain turned to joy with the arrival of the overlords the Gerards in 1981, these brutal over-lords ruled the town with an iron fist until the middle of the 90's. Public flogging and rutial humiliation were daily occurrences and the smallest infraction could mean a month in the stocks. The Gerards were finally ousted in 1996 by a task force sent in by local MP Ian MaCartney after a off-hand remark about the fact that he is a fat bastard and once got stuck in a doorway.
Many famous people have have left their mark on the town, Bernard Manning once took a piss down the back of Queen's. Also Val Leham Aka Bea Smith from prisoner C Block H made an appearance which brought much joy to local residents. 
category:wigan
Asian people

Ching Chong lu bong chao dong bi sung bo dung gong ting wang fu. Li bao tun tang ling qu song hong ru bao du luo, zing zhao hu dai bung ching bong. Zu bo song shi gong wong, fi leng, bong mi fung ding zhong. Chong kong ku shing bao xi yu tuong rao bu lu do di ba, fung ching zing zong.
==Chi chao==
Dung chi pu pong zing long feng dao hu bei lu to, kao ji zong ti ching bi mung king ko. Bu long ba tao weng chong chang, zi chen. Cho do fa lo rung, bung do zhu thao zing chong, bong dong, ling fe hu.
Ning ding 1i ru pao pong zha hu te lung hang. Peng zheng lu song yung chang chen pang ku lao tun bang, mu dong wao zun chi, fi long ku tao. Hong bo dong feng zi chang di ang long du ming bo chi zhe mao lu po pao pong bong bing, chao su teng. Ong bong hu lung mong di feng zing sang pao du tong, ling chi bu tang fi sung to thu zhong jang bo dao qi zhu long jing bung tang ting tong. Ching chao gung gu bong chong, bu tang kao hong.
Zu fe bong tao hu cheng, li bong dao hu tong zhi long bin ding nong zi xing zhao xi kung.
==Fung wong==
Wung bong do hing jing jang tung yi zong lao pu tang ji zu pong ji te. Tu feng ji tu pong pong zung dong, chi teng hi chao li fong dung hu beng zi. Ku tong qiao chi fao lu hong bu ling deng zong pao tong fu ben, tien mang tu ying.
Ting hao fu du long chi zong bu teng king tong, zo bong li dong fu pao ti tong. Qing tang long zi pao zhu fu gong bi.
==Chong kung==
* Xong gung
* Fu wang
Category:People by ethnicity Category:Racist articles
Asiananation

Category:Diseases 
Asiananation is a process by which a normally healthy American (or less commonly European) male inadvertently becomes an Asian.
===Signs and Symptoms===
*Sudden yellowing of skin not related to alcoholic jaundice.
*Excessive consumption of ramen noodles.
*Inability to drive at speeds greater then thirty miles per hour.
*Acute acquisition of excellent math skills.
*Use of the term ^_^ in any conversation (offline or otherwise.)
*Inexplicable fascination with Anime and or Cosplay.
* Sudden desire to sex anything in a Mini-skirt.
===Cause===
Asiananation believed to be a virus spread by viral media such as Anime Pr0n and the Playstation Portable. It is not known exactly how the Asiananation virus affects the human body, but it is believed that it does so using DNA/RNA/RCA recomposition or something cool like that.
===Cure===
The only cure for Asiananation is heavy drinking, most specifically of American hard liquors such as Jack Daniels and Jim Beam. Warning: Do not attempt to cure Asiananation with Saki as this will only exasperate the problem (it may also emancipate or conjugate the problem.) This process is known as disorientation.
===Diagnosis===
Most doctors are unfamiliar with Asiananation and thus ill-equipped to properly diagnose or treat it. For proper diagnosis one should seek out a Asiantologist and ask for the blood test. A simple blood test can by administered by your Asiantologist to determine if you are suffering for the effects of Asiananation. 
A small sample of blood (usually less then three gallons) is drawn from your prostate (which must be removed for the sample to be taken) and is subjected to the test. During the test your blood sample with be homogenized, vulcanized, and idolized, before it is spun in a cyclotron. Once your blood returns from the cyclotron, it will be forced to play Quake 2 at high speed; if your blood becomes dizzy or complains of a headache, then the test has concluded that you are in fact Asiananated.
===Asiananation in Pop Culture===
The song "I Think I'm Turning Japanese" by the 18th century pop band The Vapors, features a humorous spin on Asiananation.
The 1987 documentary “The Last Samurai” is about a pirate (played by Tom Cruise) who is aflected with acute Asiananation.
Category:Diseases
AskJesus

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Take AskJesus with you. Dowload our Portable Savior.
About Jesus * Propaganda * We're Hiring!
Category:Internet
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Ask Masters

Ask Masters 	Ask Masters 	Ask Masters
 	 	
Album by The Beatles	Album by The Beatles 	Album by The Beatles
Released 	1988 	1988
Recorded: 	1963 to 1970 	1963 to 1970
Genre 	Rock 	Rock
Length 	TBD 	TBD
Record label 	Parlophone 	Parlophone
Producers 	George Martin 	George Martin
Professional reviews	Professional reviews 	Professional reviews
Oscar Wilde review 	n/a - "Just let the Review be."	
Beatle Albums 	Beatle Albums 	Beatle Albums
Let It Be(1970) 	Ask Masters (1988) 	Supercar Sandy (1990)
Ask Masters is an album produced by The Beatles in 1988. All of these songs were recorded from 1963 to 1970. They were all put together and released on this album. The #1 song of the year, I Want to Fold Your Pants made it on this album.
== Singles ==
These were all of the singles the Beatles have recorded from their Thank Thank You days to the fabulous Let It Be album. Most all of these songs were written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney but George Harrison wrote a song called The Outer Space. John had written a song for his life for his wife, Yoko Ono but it was scratched and it talks about Paul instead.
== Track Listing ==
===Disc 1===
# Love Me Jew- 2:25
# From Me To Jew- 2:01
# Please Me Boy- 2:05
# She Loves A Jew- 2:26
# I'll Rape You- 2:07
# I Want to Fold Your Pants- 2:26
# This Boy- 2:14
# Some German Song- 2:26
# Another German Song- 2:26
# Short Blond Becky- 2:01
# I Call Your Frog- 2:15
# Show Down- 3:02
# Let's Smoke With Matches- 1:58
# She's So Blind- 2:21
# I'm A Woman- 3:06
# Bad Girl- 2:23
# No It's Not- 2:46
# Emo- 2:33
===Disc 2===
# Gay Licker- 2:54
# We Can Ship It Out- 2:19
# Shipwreck Sailor- 2:21
# (In)sane- 3:02
# Mister Madonna- 2:21
# The Outer Space- 2:27
# Hey Jew- 7:11
# Revolution #9,054- 3:28
# Get Black- 3:12
# Just Let Me Frown- 3:33
# The Ballad of Paul McCartney- 2:57
# Old Brown Shoe (I Pooped On It)- 3:19
# Across the World- 3:55
# Let Him Be- 3:39
# Find Me In The Phone Book- 4:23
Category:Albums
Askew

{{#css:
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 -moz-transform:rotate(1.8deg);-webkit-transform:rotate(1.8deg); transform:rotate(1.8deg);
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Aww shit, who wrecked the page again????
 
For <choose><option weight=15>the religious among us who choose to believe lies</option><option weight=100>those without comedic tastes</option></choose>, the <choose><option>self-proclaimed experts</option><option>so-called experts</option><option>so-called experts</option><option>so-called experts</option><option>so-called experts</option><option>so-called experts</option></choose> at Google <choose><option weight=100>have</option><option weight=25>think they have</option></choose> an article <choose><option weight=100>about</option><option weight=25>very remotely related to</option></choose> Askew
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Category:Google
Category:Internet
Asleep

Sleep is a state of having the eyes closed, the brain relatively inactive, the salivary glands extremely active, and/or being in class, work or parliament. It is thought to be essential for maintaining a healthy brain. Ergo, class, work and parliament are essential for individual wellbeing. Make sure you attend regularly. It is a state in which your hallucinations are called dreams and considered to be normal, with no need to call in any psychiatrists. Except, of course, if you're already being monitored for your psychoses. However, these "dreams" (also called fantasies) can be a bit too real and for some, can lead to you waking up in a pool of man-gravy.
==Sleep as Fun==
Sleep is in fact the most fun any person can have. This follows from the argument that:
time flies = having fun
and when 
time = sleep
then
time passing = 0
which implies that
sleep = infinite fun
==Five stages of sleep==
There are five stages of sleep:
# During this stage, only the scientists who devote their lives to watching people sleep and listening to people snore think you're asleep, because your brainwaves have changes a bit.
# During this stage, your brainwaves have changed even more. You still shouldn't think you're asleep, just "thinking with your eyes closed". Sure.
# Okay, now you're really asleep. By far the most boring stage of sleep.
# The deepest stage of sleep (no, duh) in which your brain is operating at its lowest level, giving it plenty of time to recharge for another wild night out partying. If by now your muscles aren't fully relaxed, you're doing it wrong. This is why all sleepwalkers, sleeptalkers, and sleep sex-maniacs are sleeping wrong.
# REM sleep. No, it's not named after the rock band, the rock band is named after it. REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement, because in this stage of sleep, every muscle in your body is paralyzed but your eyes, which twitch rather frantically. Some scientists would have you believe that eye movement in REM sleep is not related to what you are dreaming. Several urban legends have disproved this theory.
A normal sleep pattern goes a bit like this: Stage one, stage two, stage three, stage four, REM sleep, stage four, stage three, stage two, stage one, stage two, etc. Except once you get out of REM sleep for the first time, the entire process speeds up. Hey, it doesn't make sense to me either.
Sleeping had also produced some nice poetry, except I rather doubt Hamlet would have fallen asleep in the middle of such a dramatic speech about suicide.
-- William Shakespeare
== Sleep Trivia ==
*Falling asleep was a very big problem in the shocking video game Garfield: Caught in the Act.
*The Texan revolution was won because the Mexicans fell Asleep in the desert.
*The Texans lost the Alamo because many of them slept through it.
*The first Texas-related war was mostly about sleep.
*People often fall asleep when Dubya makes a speech.
Category:Poetry
Ass-load (SI)

An ass-load is an SI (scientific idiom) unit of measurement roughly equivalent to three metric tonnes. Coincidentally, it is also equal to the amount of cocaine Bono can keep in his sunglasses.
==History==
While working in his laboratory one fine summer’s evening on a cure for the common Tourette’s Syndrome, Dr. Gary Hawkings finally realized, and explained to his colleague, Dr. Whogivesadamn, that their boss was a sick, sadistic freak. Determined to find some way to get back at him, Dr. Hawkings invented the unit of measurement “ass-load”, which he defined as “the amount of stuff up any given employer’s ass”. Within moments, Dr. Gary Hawkings had contacted the U.N. security council to present this new unit of measurement. China vetoed it, saying that the measurement was much too variable, on the grounds that different employers could stuff different amounts of questionable objects into their respective anuses. Enraged, Dr. Gary Hawkings went over their heads and contacted Jesus via Facebook. Jesus, however, agreed that the measurement was too broad, and advised that it be redefined as something more specific. After four hours of debate between Dr. Hawkings, Dr. Whogivesadamn, Jesus, and a small dog named Fifi, the unit was eventually settled to be equivalent to two metric tonnes. This unit was then re-suggested to the United Nations, where Russia vetoed it, stating that redefining the unit at three metric tonnes would make the unit more useful. The terms were agreed to, and the ass-load was admitted to the SI unit family, where he lived happily ever after and married a princess.
==Controversy==
Because of the “inappropriate language” used in the unit’s name, every parent-teacher organization in the world prevented its usage in a school environment. The scientific community was outraged at this, and the war was long and bloody, and ultimately ended in the fall of capitalist society in Yugoslavia. In the end, though, the communist party (also known as the United Federation of Concerned Menopausal Women) won out, and to this day the ass-load is not taught in schools. The unit is still official by the U.N., though, and CAN be used in scientific research papers.
==Properties of the Word==
Besides being a unit of measurement, ass-load is also a verb, noun, interjection, adjective, transitive verb, U.S. Senator, and consists of three parts aluminum, two parts hydrogen, and four parts butterscotch ripple. After losing the election of 1654 in thirteen different countries, it went on to write fifteen different memoirs of its life and briefly took on the alias of The Drummer in a band fronted by Billy Mays. As well as all of this, the ass-load also won that one race thingy in Poland, or whatever.
And if you believe all of this, I have some great insurance you might be interested in.
 
==See also==
*Load
Category:Measurement
Ass rollerskate

An ass rollerskate is a slang term for a wheelchair. It is only to be used in the most highly respectful, disability-sensitive context possible. For example:
Guy 1: Dude, how's your leg?
Guy 2: Broken, man. Looks like I'm stuck using an ass rollerskate for a few months.
Guy 1: hahahaha!! You're a cripple!!
== Insensitive? ==
In some cultures, it is considered rude to mock the disabled. Pointing out the presence of any ass rollerskate you see as loudly as possible, with extensive laughter, may prove disrespectful. It is recommended, therefore, that the term ass rollerskate only be used under the following circumstances:
1. You have a disabled friend who likes nothing more than to be constantly reminded of his difference and inferiority.
2. A guy on an ass rollerskate just cut you off, and you're like, "Hey, tard-face on the ass rollerskate!" And he's all like, "What?" And you're all like, "OMFG, you did not just say that!" And he's totally like, "Yeah, so what?!"
3. You really, really want to say, "ass rollerskate". Don't hold it in - these moments don't come up every day!
== Karma? ==
Oh yeah, karma's totally going to pwn you for this one. But what the heck.
== Famous People With Ass Rollerskates ==
Stephen Hawking (the Ass Rollerskate 9000)
Rick Hansen
Franklin Roosevelt
Christopher Reeve
Kenneth Branagh's character in "Wild Wild West" (do not see the movie - just take our word for it)
Larry Flint
== See also ==
Category:AppliancesCategory:CyborgsCategory:TastelessCategory:People_no_one_likes
Association football

Real football is not, as some people would think, soccer. Also not to be confused with Real Madrid. In fact, real football goes something lika this:
== The premise ==
One must have two villages full of burly men. They must be drunk, and pissed. Hand the burly men sticks. Place a sheep's bladder on the middle of the road that leads to both villages. Then get the fuck out of the way, but observe the mass carnage which ensues as hundreds of hairy oafs chase kick, hack and generally destroy each other. The fact that they may be on the same team is irrelevant: bonus points are scored for a higher kill count, regardless of their village of residence.
The level of enjoyment that one can receive from watching football actually increases as his or her IQ decreases.
== The rules ==
*Get the sheep's bladder into the other village to score. 
*Anyone who makes up any other rules gets sodomized.
== Famous matches ==
=== Bromley VS That Other Place ===
That Other Place's team was formidable, but Bromley had a secret weapon: H. G. Wells's works of fiction. By utilizing l33t hax0rs, they were able to broadcast a fake news bulletin into the other village. This broadcast warned of an impending alien invasion. Sadly, the broadcast was also picked up by radios around the United States. Many idiots paniced. The news reader received a prize for his efforts. Bromley kicked the bladder into That Other Place at 23:53
=== The Falklands VS London ===
This match was a clever ruse by the Londinions, rather than an actual match. They had told the Falklanders that the bladder was located on a small island in the Atlantic Ocean. While the citizins of the Falklands all hurried to find this non-existent island, the Londinions raided their homes. This match is also famous for being the first football match in which a woman participated. Margeret 'The Iron Lady' Thatcher later went on to become Prime Minister of England.
== Knockoff sports ==
See football for a comparison of real football to other sports that bear the name.
 
Category:Football
Category:Vital articles
Asteroids (video game)

Asteroids is an antique video game in which the player pilots a triangle while throwing dots at cubist amoebas. Asteroids was conceived by Lyle Rains, and originally written by Edd Log (with help from David Bowie) for Atari in 1979. At that point, the game was a simulator for remote-piloting a robotic white blood cell designed to blast apart cholesterol particulates in the human circulatory system. But after realising that "Cholesteroids" was a terrible idea, Atari was left with a fully-functioning and tremendously addictive micromedical combat simulator, and thusly marketed it as a video game to compete with the likes of Pac-Man and Pink Floyd.
Upon release, players praised the game for its addictive gameplay. However, despite its overbearing sci-fi and innocent 70's entertainment themes, professional critics and art deco retailers praised Asteroids as a subtle portrait of nihilism. This is shown by the empty blackness of space, the lonely duh, deh, duh, deh played near-frustratingly in the background, and the overbearing madness and vicious mind-controlling power of the central triangle, as well as the shockingly simplistic graphics, which were, due to a number of reasons, the only material available at the time:
It's an empty world.
Category:Video gamesCategory:ApocalypseCategory:Old Tech