Split personality

Split Personality Disorder is a really, truly fascinating disease, which is really quite interesting to spend hour after hour researching. It's when one person actually has more than one identity. Isn't that so astounding? Really, this disorder is so, SO interesting to me, and I'm so truly, genuinely excited to have the privilege of telling you about it here. This is going to be so much fun! My heart is pounding, I'm sweating, and I'm ready to get this article underway. So let's get started! This'll be great!
== History ==
What? WHAT? Are you fucking kidding me? Why the fuck should I care about the history of some goddamn mental disease? Of course, this disease began when--This is just retarded. Absolutely fucking retarded. There is no way I'm going to waste all my fucking time to tell you the history of some fucking disease that only crippled retards get anyway. This is nothing but a huge fucking waste of everybody's time. Fuck you.
It is like having two operating systems on one computer, like dual boot.
== Symptoms ==
There are many syptoms for spilt personality disordeer, known as depression phobias depression repeting things and contradicting yourself. Wait... contradicting yourself isn't a symptom, actually. Wait...let me check my notes...yeah, it is. Wait...no it isn't.
== Causes ==
Brothers and sisters! Split personality disorder is caused by one thing, and one thing alone, and that is failing to accept the lord Jesus as your savior! The mighty God is loving, but is also a jealous overlord! Yes, he punished the residents of New Orleans for being too acceptant of Gay people and for being black. He will punish YOU, sinner! Redeem yourself today or the mighty God will smite you, strike you down with split personality disorder, and Satan will drag you down to the burning depths of Hell! So get out there and REPENT!!!!! Scientists are EVIL, and you know why? Because they advocate protecting the environment. Does the Bible say anything about protecting the environment? NO!!! Those scientists would say that Split Personality Disorder is caused by the enlistment of steps in normal developmental processes as defenses, but that is an evil lie spawned by Satan in a plot to overthrow the Catholic church! So get out there and teach those evil atheists, feminists and abortionists the glory, and the truly loving spirit, of God! After that, I can help you bury their bodies. But anyway, this disease is caused by sinning, especially such mortal sins as being gay or having sex. So praise the mighty lord Jesus! Amen! 
== Cure ==
2 cure this ttly sick disease thing, u see a doctr and they say "omg man, you have a split prersnality d00d!" then they fix u wth, liek, medicine or somthing. then u go home and cut yrself and listsen to your green day CD's becuz green day is the FUCKNIKNG GREASTEST BAND EVER BITCH!!!!!!!!!111111
NOTHING.
BECAUSE OF YOU.
THERE'S NO FUCKING CURE TO THIS FUCKING DISEASE!
OR IS THERE?!?!? No, there isn't. But there could be!!! NO. There isn't! Well, you dont know that. Yes I do! How? Mom told me. MOM?!?!?!? Yes you heard me. Mom. YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!! MOM ALWAYS LOVED YOU MORE!!! SHH!!! wait, wait, wait! WHAT NOW?? SHH! People are staring....
== Conclusion ==
Ah, the conclusion, the most important part of an article, the glorious conclusion to the work of art...I am deeply enthralled to have the pleasure of authoring this section. Actually, a conclusion is totally fucking unnecessary, I've said all I need to say. Apart from this: embrace the will of God, sinners! REPENT!!! REPENT!!!! I, of course, have no need to repent, for I am the Pope. No I'm not. Yes I am.
== See also ==
* Dissociative Identity Disorder
Category:Self-contradictory articles