nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
My Teddy Bear Bite-Size Cookies Are Alive

Guys. Ohmagahd, guys. I have never been so frightened before in my entire life and I am older than my twenties. I was eatin some cookies. Those kind that is the cute bear with the eyes and some have chocolate chips and some are honey and some are just some other flavor I don't remember. I was eating a bag of them last night and watching Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Well, it was the one where the gang goes 2 that wedding and there is a massacre. I was already so scared because that show was scary and I was eatin these teddy bears in the dark. All the sudden I feel something in my mouth and I think its just my tongue. But I stick my tongue out and I still feel something moving in my mouth. I get really still and I can feel the teddy bear crawling on my tongue trying to get out of my mouth. I had eaten another one before it and it was already chewed up so it was clawing back toward my throat. It did not feel good at all. The chocolate chip ones hurt I can tell u. The honey one didn't hurt so much but it was chewed up with only stumps for arms. I freaked out and spit them out as fast as I could. Then I looked and the whole bag of them was walking off. They were all moving and going towards the kitchen. I noped and noped right out of there and ran outside.
==Update==
That was like on Wednesday and now that this is Friday the situation is more grim. I forgot I had bought Gummi Bears too. I didn't think about this til I looked in my cabinet to get some tuna for my 16 cats. The Gummi Bears had tore open everything in there. There was this sticky stuff all in my cabinets and they had left a note. The note said: "Free our bear frends or u wil b sory." Those stupid Gummi Bears can't spell. And now I am watching over my shoulder wondering which snack food is going to murder me. This is not fun. I am going to write a letter to the food makers and tell them that they need to send help.
Oh no... I can hear little feet pitter patters in the hallway...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Beings
Category:EVIL FOOD
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
My Time

Everywhere I go. What ever I see. No matter when, no matter where. "Close." Your Eyes. You'll be here soon. That word. That cursed, unholy word. I wish to erase that word from existence. The opening note of "bo en - my time" from album "Pale Machine" has been etched into my very existence. I am disgusted by it. I am depressed by it. I am terrified of it. I am exhausted of it. I wallow in despair, knowing that if I do anything, it will follow me. You can run, but you can't hide. "Close." "Your eyes." It is simply astounding how one word can set a person off like this. I will destroy this madness. I can't destroy the concept of "close your eyes." Every time I blink. Every time I use a door. Every time a store goes past its business hours. Every time I read a book. Close. Clothes. Every time I touch, see, hear, or feel fabric. Close. The sound comes into mind. There is no escape. It has been etched into my soul, and soon yours. Learn to dread it. Do not accept it. Do not "close" this message. Repeat that note, over and over and over, in your mind. Twist it, turn it, distort it, dissect it, study it, analyze it. "Close." Think about it. Consider it. Ponder it. Dread it. Run from it. "Close." It's there. And the next time you close anything, be it a door or this page. It will be there too. Best of luck.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Shortpasta
My Town

I was playing my PokéMon Yellow one day, which I had recently obtained from a friend as a gift. My all-time favorite place was Lavender Town, due to its purple color. However, I spent so much time there in the game after beating it and catching Mewtwo I was enticed by the music. One day, I was playing it with my team of my Pikachu and Hypno but nothing else; I went into lavender town. It was a big mistake.
All of a sudden it told me Pikachu had fled, and following me instead was my Hypno. I talked to it seeing what would come up. All that came up with a Hypno image with the pendulum swinging back and forth. Five seconds later, my screen went black. I had thought my game had glitched out or something, but it then came back with my sprite lying on the ground with what I think were ropes tied to his arms and legs. the Hypno said like I heard in Hypno's Lullaby years later "little child do not squirm these ropes I know will hold you firm" and I screamed; I pressed the start button form my escape rope but my bag was gone. I panicked and thought to myself, 'what happened? I had like, four escape ropes but realized the Hypno must have used them to tie me up.
I honestly screamed out loud when the Hypno returned and said: "This is then end for you," and next thing I knew my screen went black, I heard a scream, and the screen turns back to lavender town with Oak, my mom, my rival, and basically everyone standing in front of a sign next to the tower. Oak then spoke saying "rest in peace, you a good kid Peter." as I had named my character after my godfather. Soon after everyone walked away and the Hypno appeared saying the last verse of Hypno's Lullaby: "Little child you were not clever, now you'll stay with me forever," then the game cut to black and said game over and a creepy cackleing laugh emitted from my game boy. I soon started over the game and years later 2012 im 20 years old going on 21 and the game is currently dead. I feel like my troubles are over.
Now I worry, what about my Fire Red?
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pokemon
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Old Shit
My True Story

When I was about 2 years old, Me, my brother, my mom, and my dad lived in a house in christopher IL. I don't remember much from that time except for this: One morning I got out of bed And started crawling down the hallway. I then was pulled back by something. I remember thinking it was my my mom or dad, and I looked behind me. There was nothing there. I am not writing this story to scare anyone. I just felt like telling someone about my experience. I don't think my house was haunted because if it was, I think we would have known. If you know what it might have been, please tell me.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
My Wife's Weird Phase

My wife is acting like a 90s side-scroll videogame boss and I'm not sure what to do.
"How dare you enter my lair!" My wife yelled at me randomly at the dinner table while flashing red and white.
She then flipped over the table and started strifing erratically around the dining room.
I quickly threw a potted plant at her face to which she responded "haha haha" while flashing different shades of red this time.
Her strife quickened and then she got stuck between the couch and the wall. I continued blasting her with flower pots until she vanished into thin air. Then a bunch of coins fell out of the ceiling.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
My Wife the Werewolf

Guys, I think my wife is a werewolf. When she sleeps she makes this low growly sound. When she gets out of the shower in the summer, the bottom tub is full of hair. Her fingernails are incredibly sharp after she gets back from some werewolf think galled a manicure. From what I can gather a manicure is some sort of werewolf meeting. I know what I have to do...put a stake through the bitches heart. (Bitch like female dog, not like the slur against women.)
==Update==
Guys, she's not a werewolf. I tried to stake her and she slapped me and told me to knock it off. She explained what a manicure was and now we are going to marriage counseling. Over all I am doing a lot better in general after being able to talk out our problems. But now there's a new problem. I think our marriage counselor is a goddamn vampire!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Animulz
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:The Title Is A Lie
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
My Yoshi, My Noble Steed

My Yoshi, my noble steed, my best friend, is the only way I can get to the last star coin pipe. I hop on his back and he unquestioningly flies me towards the pipe, making himself the only thing between me and certain death as we cross the bottomless crevice. He starts to sweat, and I feel his strength faltering. This is it; we are not going to make it. I'm going to, however. With a gleeful WEE-HEE! I front flip off of him, as soon as his strength truly runs out. He falls, silently and endlessly. Is there a bottom for him to reach, or will he spend his last days, awake and aware, free falling for eternity? That's for him to find out, and for me to briefly wonder, before I put it out of my mind, collect my last star coin and leap onto the finish flag. Aw yeah, Mario time.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Mario
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
My Zalgo Song

I lived normal in a normal home.
Until he came to my life.
I can't run now.
I thing im dying.
Now wait.... Why does this have to happen?
When I first saw his face.... I wanted to die!
Please Zalgo don't hurt me!
Please please please no.
Zalgo why do you want to hurt me?
Is this your way of fun?
Im slowly dying in my home....
Oh please zalgo leave me alone!
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Look ma, it's one of those creepypasta characters!
Category:Morons Attempting Poetry
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
My anime figure collection is haunted

I TELL THIS TIME AND TIME AGAIN TO MY FAMILY BUT ALL THEY SAY "NOBODY CARES" OR "YOU HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM..." (THEY WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE ANIME HAS LEAD INTO MY LIFE) BUT I ASSURE YOU THIS STORY KEPT ME UP FOR NIGHTS.
IT WAS A LATE TUESDAY NIGHT AND I WAS BUILDING MY JAPANESE-ORIENTAL HOUSE IN MINECRAFT WHEN I HEARD FAINT WHISPERING FROM BEHIND ME. AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS THE SEXY ENDERMAN BESIDE ME UNTIL I TURNED AROUND AND I WAS ABLE TO DISTINGUISH THE VOICE, AND WHAT HAPPENS NEXT LEFT ME SHAKING TO THE BONE.
ALL MY ANIME FIGURES RATTLED AND WHIPPED THEIR HEADS TOWARDS ME. SEBASTIAN FROM BLACK BUTLER, LIGHT FROM DEATH NOTE, AND EVEN NARUTO MAN HIMSELF. ALL OF THEM TWISTED THEIR HEADS AND STARED AT ME MALICIOUSLY. MY 1/4 SCALE HATSUNE MIKU SMILED AND SAID IN HER SOFT, ROBOTIC VOICE, "BAKA... YOUR KNEECAPS... THEY'RE MINE..."
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:ALL CAPS
Category:Living Objects
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
My awesome christmas

== A amazing day ==
Today was Christmas, I was so excited. I was sleeping when suddenly a loud THUMP hit the ground. I woke up to go to my parents room. There was a goat-like creature in there and it did not look like Santa at all. But hey, if your mean you get coal!
it put presents on the tree and cleaned up the ketchup. Santa almost saw me so i sneaked up to my room. I went to sleep.
== My mommy and daddy squirt ketchup ==
Now its time to open the presents. I open them with mommy and daddy. I didn't get a nerf gun though, i had a sharp kitchen knife with ketchup on it and my mommy and daddy squirt ketchup and fainted of happiness. I slowly licked the ketchup, though the ketchup tasted like metal and was sticky.
Wow, that was a nice Christmas. I got all the ketchup in the world!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Holidays
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
My awesome job at Dairy Queen!

I was an intern at Dairy Queen, and I was working at the Frosty dispenser. Ronald McDonald walked in, and started to tell all the little kids to go to McDonald's. Chris Hansen walks out of the cooler where they keep the cakes. "How are you doing today?" Chris tell Ronald as Ronald runs out the door and gets arrested. "Thank you, Chris!" Some random person yells.
One hour later, I was alone. The hash-slinging slasher popped out of the DQ sign. It started leaking hyperrealistic blood. I was screaming, "The rash ringing... The sash singing... THE HASH-SLINGING SLASHER!!! He killed me, and my skeleton popped out.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:I WAS AN INTERN AT
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Shortpasta
My boss just died in my arms

"Your listening to the 39th ranked rock station in the lower mid west, KCOK." I said into the mic, "I'm going to spin another little diddy for you, a little number from everyones favorite band, Creed, this is 'Arms Wide Open', I said, my last word touching Scott Stapp's first word in the amazing song. I sat there listening to the first few lines when my boss walks in. I take my monitors off and set them on the board.
"Hey boss, how ya doing, you got a little coke on your nose." I said to him.
He sniffed hard pulling in all the leftovers. "Its my snack for later you little bitch, but you wouldn't know anything about that. You can't Afford delicious cocaine, you little bitch." He paused, doing 23 more lines off his full length mirror he walks around with. "MMMMMMMM, that's some YUMMY cocaine. Hey by the way, you really can't afford cocaine now BECAUSE YOUR FIRED." He screamed the last words. Cotton ball sized nuggets of blow falling out of his nose. He quickly dropped to the floor to re-snort them.
"F-f-f-fired!?!?" I shouted, "I gave this radio station the best 2 and a half months of my life!"
"We are switching formats, smooth jazz from here on out. Sounds better when I'm coked out of my mind than this TRASH." As he said that Scott's song crescendoed. "No man, this, this is REAL music." I said turning up the dial on the board that put the music through the studio speakers.
"With arms wide opennnnnnnn" I sang along.
He did 4 more lines. "Pack your shit and lea-" suddenly he stopped, grabbing his chest. "Ugrggggg," a pained moan came out of his mouth and he fell to the floor.
I ran over kneeling at his side. He pulls me in close. "Bury...me...with...my...co..." He was too weak to finish the sentence.
"Coconut? Cock? Coprophagia? Cool math games? Comcast's unfair business practices? What, WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT ME TO BURY YOU WITH THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTERS CO???????" I shook him with the last words.
At that moment he breathed his last breath and was still.
At his funeral is wife walked up to me. "The doctors said you were with my husband when he died. Did he want you to tell me anything." She asked.
"Unfortunately I don't know. He didn't finish his last words. I am so sorry for your loss." I said to her.
"Well you knew Brody, he died how he wanted to, with 94 percent of his DNA filled with drugs." She said.
"Cocaine specifically," I said and we both chuckled.
She put her hand out to introduce herself. "My names Connie." She said.
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," I said. "I get it now. Bury me with my Connie!" I grabbed her by the torso and threw her in his coffin. "There you go body!" And I lowered them into the ground.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
My boyfriend won't stop making Minecraft villager noises

Title is essentially the TL;DR.
Now I know how people feel when they post stories that literally sound unbelievable.
I've been playing Minecraft since I was a kid, and recently I got my boyfriend to start playing it too. He loves the game, and in particular he finds the villagers to be super funny. I get it, they're dumb looking and they sound hilarious. A few weeks ago when we were playing, he started making villager noises, and at first it was really funny. He'd do it occasionally as a joke when we encountered villagers, he said he was "communicating with them".
But recently it's been getting worse. He started making the villager noises all the time. Not just when playing Minecraft, in real life too. When he's in the kitchen getting food from the fridge, he goes "heeermmm huauugh". Like the fucking villagers. It's like his default idle noise now and it's slowly driving me insane. It's no longer a joke. I don't think he can stop. He ACKNOWLEDGES it's a problem.
I don't know what the fuck to do. It would honestly be fine if he just did it in private but now he's started doing it in public and PEOPLE NOTICE. I have to be on some kind of gameshow or prank YouTube channel because this cannot be real. How do I get him to stop???
Proof because my life is a joke.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Minecrap
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Memes
Category:Shortpasta
My brother disappeared into the dark net

We call the Gorilla exhibit the dark net btw.
My brother broke into the exhibit and lost the fight with a gorilla, who has forced him to be monkey bride
I sleep during the day and surround myself with lights at night, terrified until the sun comes up again.
What am I afraid of? you ask.
A black out. A blown fuse. Banana.
And they happen more and more lately.
Always I see them in the shadows. Waiting. Watching. Patient.
For their chance.
To return me to monke
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:The Title Is A Lie
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
My cat shit out a ghoul

It was at night. I looked at the card table and practically all of the Beanie Babies had been mislabeled. They were either too cheap or too expensive, and not one price, not one, was accurate. I scolded my cat for shitting out such a thing, and when my cat looked at me, I knew that doom was basically everywhere now. Right through the comforter and onto the sheets; doom. To this day, I still cannot bear thinking about mostly anything, such was the weight of that dread experience.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Potty Humor
My childhood dog ran into the woods. When he returned, he was a naked drug addict named Phil

TIL Phil was a wanted criminal, and not actually my dog, then he stabbed me and stole my Grubhub order
Category:Trollpasta
Category:One sentence
Category:The Title Is A Lie
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
My crazy furry brother

i used to love my 23 year old younger brother but know. i don't know what to think of him. it was a normal day i was on my computer looking at reddit memes. then i somehow ended up on a furry subreddit. at that moment my twin brother walked in he asked "hey bro what are you looking at? i told him i accenindly ended up on a furry subreddit. my brother teased me and left the room. I shrugged it off and looked back at reddit memes. A few days later i noticed that when we had free time on the computers at school my brother would look at the furry subreddit. i shrugged it off but i should have taken that as the first warning. the next day i whent into my brothers room to get something. but his computer was on and the open tab was a ebay listing of a wolf suit. i was weirded out but i didn't mention it to anyone. a week later i saw him reading furry maginzens. i askedd him why he was so interested in furrys but he ignored me. the next day i caught him watching furry pron on his phone. i was freaked out and ran to my room. he knocked on the door and told me to let him in so he could explain. i ignoered him and went to bed. at about 1:00 am i woke up to fin d out i was tied up. i saw my brother wearing a fur suit. i was freaking out and tried to scream. but i had duck tape over my mouth. "mom and dad are on a buissness trip remeber?" said my brother i was so sacred. he cut the tape off my mouth and shoved dog treats in my mouth. soon enough i was choking and almost died. at that moment the police bust down the door. and aressted my brother i tried to fiqure out who called the police but then i remebered that i have a condition where i aaccindly call the police in my sleep. my brother was charged with kidnapping and attemped muder. i still don't know how to feel i love my brother even though he was dropped on the head as a baby. anyways the moral of the story is don't use reddit
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Wall of Text
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Shortpasta
My creepy 6 year old daughter is acting very creepy lately

So my 6 year old daughter Amanda is acting very strange right now and I am hoping someone can help me on this. Amanda is a 6 year old girl with blond hair, huge glassy blue eyes and a very pale complexion. Recently she recovered from a horrible car accident, which left her in a coma for 14 days, and she has been acting very strange since.
She got in a car accident with my wife Samantha two weeks ago. Samantha died almost instantly - Amanda survived, and after she staying in a coma for three weeks she finally recovered and returned from the hospital. 
But since she's recovered she just hasn't been the same. She does really weird things like draw pentagrams and dismembered body parts. She also loves to remove her eyeballs and then immediately put them back in. Yesterday she also stabbed my wife with a knife and killed her in her sleep. I woke up next to her dead body with Amanda staring at me from the other side of the bedroom, and I asked, "Amanda, do you know who murdered your mother?" and she said, "I did. You're next, Daddy!" 
Amanda has always been a very imaginative child, but these events are starting to make me think that she's not processing this awful trauma in a healthy way. My wife argues that it's completely normal for a child to get carried away by their imaginations and act strangely, and that we shouldn't take her weird behaviors too seriously since she's still a child, but I'm starting to think that she's not processing her recent trauma in a healthy way. Anyway, I'm planning to take her to a professional therapist soon, but what do you think I should do? Any advice is appreciated.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta