The Crying Cosplaying Carnival Clown From California Named Cringle Who Came To Cut Clark Canter's Cat Named Candy In Clydesdale Street Connecticut

==Clark Canter's Carnivorous Tale of Caboodles Which is Suitable For Cabalists and Citizens Alike!==
My name is Clark Canter. I own a fat lazy piece of shi- err... I mean, absolutely wonderful cat named Candy which we are teh bezt of frehnds! So anyways, I have always loved clowns. Ever since I lost my virginity to a clown, I have loved clowns. I used to dress my cucomber in little clown outfits and would play the sexaphone while watching my cucomber dance for me in his little clown outfits. It was so erot- err... Enjoyable that I decided to buy a carnival! It was called "Canter's Carnival Of Carnivorous Canines and Attractions of Many Desires" and it was in Hollywood California. ( I couldn't find a Carnival for sale in any place that started with C. You silly goose faced, potato headed, pot bellied, pork fiddled, fart headed, disease ridden c*nt! )
The Carnival itself had very many good attractions. To name a few, we had the wonderful "Man On The Flying Pingas" or the amazing "Catastrophic Cat Cycling Contest"! All of these were very amazing, but none were quite as good as Cringle... The Crying, Cosplaying Carnival Clown From California! Cringle used to do very interesting acts which would attract people from all over the slums! He was also a very big hit at the nursing homes. 
But one day, my cat Candy was Cycling in the Catastrophic Cyclone that had ravaged our Carnival! The Cyclone came from the beach nearby and wrekt oor carnevahl dat dai. Because of the fact that a bad storm had struck, Cringle Cut My Cat Named Candy and Cried as he knew he shouldn't of done it because he was scared in the heat of the moment. I fired him for what he had done to my lovely cat! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!
I knew that was not the end, though... He did the normal thing that anyone would do and burned down my carnival. I completely understood but he was mean and had sworn to get revenge on me, Clark Canter. He said he would come to cut my cat once again! I moved to Connecticut because it would not Connect with his Central brain processing to Check for me in Connecticut. Or so I thought...
Cringle then became obsessed with 4Chan and Cosplay. He had a new game called "Strt Fiiterz 2" and he loved it so much. Every night he would ultra fap to Chun Li just because he was him. He then bought a Chun Li Costume which was perfectly suited to fit Cringle! Yet, everywhere I'd go... I'd see him... At Furrycon, I saw him in that Chun Li costume... Standing in the corner, humping the vending machine... He was so calm and tranquil, yet so dangerous looking! I also saw him at Comic Con, fapping with Spiderman. It was so horrifying! One night my car was broken and I had to walk home from work in the pitch black night. As I was walking home, I thought I heard something following me... I then found a Yard Sale on the way home and and decided to buy a copy of Majora's Mask! I thought it was a little strange since the guy who was selling it was a bald old man who kept talking about his son named Benny. I dismissed it as a glitch and continued going. I decided to run back home since I was cold and horny as a cactus, I had to fap somewhere. I ran home as fast as I possibly could but that whole time, I felt like Cringle was watching me... It was a pretty normal day mostly, however. Not that much had happened! A few strange things did happen, though... A flying orange doll named "Hails Doll" tried to break into my house after playing Sonic S, the sequel to Sonic R. ( The next game would be Sonic T. )
I managed to kill the doll by using my mom's nuclear weapon collection, my dad's samurai collection, my cousins gun collection, my grandma's potato collection, my nephew named Phil's tampon collection and I also managed to beat it up with the various weapons of mass destruction lying around the house. Then, I woke up the next day later and fell out of space and died. It isn't all that fun to die, so... :/ I decided to go and get a burger after dying earlier that day. But that couldn't prepare me for what would come in the future...
Three years after he was fired and I was living in Connecticut, I heard a knock on the door... I was in ultra fap mode at the time watching my new Patrixx Sex Tape so I didn't really have time to get up and check, but my Cat Named Candy Courageously Catered To Common sense and opened the door... It was The Crying Cosplaying Carnival Clown Named Cringle In His Chun Li Cosplay Costume Of Carnage!                                It was easily the most terrifying site I've ever seen before... He was still crying from that time he got fired! I was in                                                    shock and couldn't believe what I was seeing!
He then pulled out a knife and Cut My Cute Cat Named Candy In The Crotch! I loved my cat but I didn't wanna miss my new Patrixx Sex Tape... I knew what to do, however... I grabbed the nearest dildo and waved it in the air FOR GREAT JUSTICE! I charged towards Cringle and hit him in the face with the purple dildo. I had won! I slashed him down with the dildo and stabbed him in the stomach with the dildo. Hyper-realistic blood came out but it didn't scare me... I wanted to taste that hyper-realistic victory! His hyper-realistic intestines fell out and turned into evil blood snakes. They attacked me but I kicked them into nothingness. He tried to punch at me using moves he learned on STRT FITERZ 2 but I dodged them! I yelled out "SANIC BOOHM!" and pushed him back. The epic battle had begun and we were not stopping till one was dead! Cringle The Cosplaying Crying Carnival Clown yelled out "SURRENDER AT ONCE OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCESESECES!!" I quickly replied "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" as I lept out and punched his anus. I shoved my fist down his throat and pulled his heart out. I knew I had barely hurt him, however... My Cat Named Candy jumped on his head and started tearing out his brain hyper-realistically and I punched him in the pingas. My anus was prepared for what would happen next... I stepped backwards and delivered a full force dildo strike directly to the upper jaw. VICTORY WAS MINE! He fell over and yelled "ITZ NOT TEH TE END IOF MEH ULL NEVAH BEE RID OF MEH LAWLLAWLAWL" but then I Sparta kicked him out into space and he was never heard from again. The battle, had been won...
Then I wrote a Sonic Fanfiction and A Skeleton Popped Out. The end! :)
Category:Satire
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Category:Crappy ms paint drawings
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:NSFW
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Trollpasta