nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Kansas City

Kansas City, Kansas and/or Missouri, is best known for BBQ and Jazz. BBQ and Jazz were invented simultaneously on 18th & Vine when some guy named Mo tried to play the saxophone while cooking a heifer. 
Kansas City celebrated its centennial with the motto: "One Hundred Years of Crime". The median household income is 2 cents per year.
== Religion ==
Kansas City is 50% Baptist, 12% Catholic, 6% Methodist, 3% Pentecostal, 3% Latter-day Saint, 3% Lutheran, 1% Unity and 1/8th Satanist.
==Geography==
Kansas City is the only city in the United States with dual state citizenship. As a result, every inhabitant of Kansas City is required by law to have two separate driver's licenses, two separate social security numbers, and two separate biological parents; one for each state. The city is split three ways at the junction of the Missouri River and the Kansas River, which further confuses matters. The eastern part of the city houses all of the best opera houses and major sports teams and Oriental restaurants, while the northwestern part is subject to frequent tornado activity and rabid bovine attacks. The little-known southwestern quarter (lying on the southern bank of the Kansas River) is a desert wasteland infested with impoverished native-American Shawnee who are still resentful over losing title of their luxury condominiums in their native Oklahoma panhandle during an ill-advised poker tournament in 1997.
== Tourist attractions ==
There are many sites to see, including fountains, tornadoes, and the site of the beginning of the Santa Fe, California, and Oregon Trails, which is basically just some dirt.
== Famous people == 
Mickey Mouse, that one guy, some other people.
== Education ==
In 2016, the students in Kansas City, MO, received the worst scores in the state, while their teachers got the worst marks in the nation on their teacher tests. The superintendent of the schools is changed every year, but to no avail. Kansas City maintains many colleges and libraries anyway. 
category:Missouri
category:Kansas
category:Cities in the United States
category:Surreal Places
Kathy Bates

Kathy Bates (born 1946) (his her real name is Annie Wilkes) is a psychopathic murderer. He she was defeated by (h)armless author, Paul Sheldon, who he she had kidnapped about a year earlier. Annie wasn't really dead and was sended to mental hospital, but somehow managed to escape and changed his her name into Kathy Bates. In 1997, he she appeared in James Bond Cameron's documentary film, Titanic. He she also killed lots of people in 60's, 70's and 80's, nobody knows the excact amount, but it's at least 12. Please call YOUWILLDIE-666, if you see this man woman. He's she's a big woman with brown hair (update: his her hair is now grey) and will most likely kick the crap out of you if he she realizes that you're trying to call us, so better stay quiet...
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Category:Actresses
Kazoo

One thing seems abundantly clear: a kazoo is NOT a whistle. 
Much controversy was aroused by the Kazoo-Whistle War of 1812, which was fought after Charles Darwin argued that kazoos evolved from whistles. This conflict was cut short by the invention of the bagpipe whereupon both parties immediately dropped what they were doing and started the Hundred Years' War to rid the world of the bagpipe.
In 2002 however, a group of scientists from northern Scotland found out that the kazoo had actually evolved from either the tenor Saxophone or a formula-one race car. Although a few American priests started some smaller riots, no humans were killed because of the disagreements. Now it is widely seen as a fact by both scientists and less intelligent citizens that kazoos have evolved from the tenor saxophone.
Evidence has emerged recently suggesting that the kazoo may be linked to an ancient instrument known as a Mongolian Death Stick, which according to local lore, was used to summon demons and dune worms. In fact, kazoologists are so sure of a possible link, most east-Asian countries have banned the importing, creation or use of the kazoo, just to be safe.
==How to==
Many have died in an effort to contain the mystical power within the kazoo. Al Addin (no relation to Aladdin) was the first to successfully harness this power, but his life was brought to an unfortunate end when he suddenly felt the icy grip of death upon him. No one since Al has dared to accomplish his feat; many have turned to master the mystical powers of the Rubik's Cube instead.
==Recipe==
*3 telephone wires
*1 carpet sample
*π squared toilet paper rolls
*7 headache pills
*1 average-size elementary school music class
*26 sheets of sticky back plastic
*1 handful raisins
*And no eggs!
*a kazoo factory
Instructions: 
Stir in a pot for 12 minutes on medium heat.
Simmer, and serve with fresh coriander.
==Inside info==
*A metal kazoo was used (not played) by Gary Burghoff.
*Pythagoras first conceived the kazoo.
**Or maybe it was Archimedes.
***It doesn't really matter.
****They're both dead, after all.
*****All that's important is that you know...
IT'S NOT A WHISTLE!
== See also ==
== External links ==
* Son of a...
Category:Musical instruments
cs:Kazoo
Keeley Hazell

Keeley Rebecca Hazell (born on September 18, 1986) is a British Page 3 Girl and glamour model noted for her large yet non-augmented breasts (UK bra size 32).
==Personal life==
===Early life===
Hazell was born in Lewisham, London, England, grew up in Grove Park, and attended the Ravensbourne School in Bromley. Her mother, Amber, is a taxi driver and her father, Bedazzle, is a door-to-door door salesman; they separated when she was thirteen. She has an older sister, Alexandra, and a younger sister, Frank, who died when she realized she had a penis.
As a teenager, Hazell was a frequent truant and stayed out late on school nights drinking and smoking underage. She took five GCSE but as ejected some several classes, however, she did well in mathematics and English.
===Adult life===
Hazell lived in an apartment in Docklands. She has been involved in two automobile accidents, the first of which was in 2005. In the course of a car crash Hazell hit her chest on a door pillar, causing it to swell for a time. In February 2006, she crashed a Mini Cooper, she didn't suffer any major injuries, but says she did fear for her life.
In January 2006, Hazell made headlines when Chelsea F.C. football player Joe Cole was assaulted at a party held at her Grove Park house. She spoke to The Sun in March, denying rumors surrounding the incident, such as someone had attacked the athlete with a weapon.
===Sex tape===
In early January 2007, a sex tape of Hazell surfaced. The video was shot while the three were in Tenerife, Canary Wharf Islands, Spain during the previous year.
==Career==
Keeley spends her time touring around England signing little boys' calendars of her posing naked. She was once know for drinking in Bromley's in Bromley, before dancing the night away in Delano's, then later standing out on the street corner followed by paparazzi.
===Modelling===
Hazell was once offered a chance to appear in Playboy, but declined because she was not comfortable doing a full nude shoot, which is weird because everyone saw what lies beneath in the aforementioned mysteriously leaked sex tape; just take the Yankee Dollar but put her hands on your mound for goodness sake. Daily star UK, Daily Sun UK, FHM, Maxim, Zoo, Nuts, Loaded etc.
===Other Media appearances===
She has since moved to Hollywood to peruse an acting career.
Category:Boobage
Category:People With Huge Boobs
Category:Hot Babes You Don't Have A Chance With
Category:Stuff that lonely men masturbate over
Category:Silly Eyes
pt:Keeley Hazell
Keep It

"Keep It" is a 1984 song by the artist Michael Jackson. It is a spoof of "Eat It" by "Weird Al" Yankovic, which is a parody of "Beat It", a song by Michael JacksonRolling Stone.. The track was unpopular and in retrospect it should never have been released. The
song and the music video that was produced are a spoof of compulsive hoarding, a disorder that compels people to accumulate and 
form piles of things that are almost worthless, which, as they are crushed under their own weight, become completely worthless.
According to Jackson, when he presented his lyrics to Yankovic for review, he didn't know what kind of reaction he'd get. Yankovic allegedly thought it was amusing, and agreed to give Jackson permission to do the parody.
==Reception==
The single reached number 9030 in Australia, and it was his highest-charting US single on the Billboard Hot 10,000 at number 9893 until "Aqualung" by Jethro Tull displaced it.
==Track listing==
===1984 release===
# "Keep It" – 3:19
# "That Girl Could Dance" – 3:32
===1985/1993 re-release===
# "Keep It" – 3:19
# "Love Is Forever Baby" – 3:26
==Music video==
The video for "Keep It" is styled as a shot-for-shot remake of Yankovic's video for "Eat It", but with elements being parodied in various silly ways.
==Lyrics==
You've got the perfect place to put it in here,
A buried pack rat treasure crystal chandelier.
Inspired, hypnotized, you'd die without it it's clear,
So keep it! Just keep it.
Two bedrooms and two bathrooms, and a kitchen, oh man!
Yeah compulsive hoarder, better rent while you can,
But squatters have rights too, it's the law of the land,
So keep it. But you want a trash bag...
Just keep it, keep it, keep it, keep it.
No one knows when you might need it.
Throwing out funky, moldy french fries?
No! They'll come in handy soon you realize.
Just keep it. Keep it.
Just keep it. Keep it.
Just keep it. Keep it.
Just keep it. Keep it.
==See also==
*Michael Jackson
*"Weird Al" Yankovic
==References==
Category:"Weird Al" Yankovic
Category:Songs
Keith (name)

Keith (pronounced keeth, /'ki:θ/) is a downright scary given name, generally being given to people whom also bear the title of "Badass". It is one of the most universally feared names in the English language, and is notorious for its association with people on the payroll of UFC. It is a common urban legend that by simply walking into some rooms and shouting the name, you will set off a loud chorus of screaming, although no-one knows that this happens, or that they do it.
==History==
Keith is taken from the Scottish surname, meaning "wood, forest", and that in itself makes it scary, as anything can happen to you in a forest, but it also has some older origins, even then considering it scary, as shown by ancient Egyptian portraits showing a half-man, half-goat (Akin to Satan), with the inscription ±ą×ײẄửﻕ (Behold Keithus; Evil), dating back to 100 BC. In recent times, the name Keith has been portrayed as a "Nerdy" name of sorts, but those suggesting so sadly perished in the Great Keith Riot of 1996. Many conspiracy theorists, such as David Icke, have suggested that Cheggers himself was involved in the infamous attack, in which many homes and vehicles of Anti-Keithists/Neilists (protest against the similarly scary name, Neil) were destroyed.
==The Chosen Ones, those bearing the name==
Keith may refer to;
* Chuck Norris
* Keith Neil "God" Goddwin
* Keith Chegwin
* Keith Olbermann, American broadcaster who hosts Countdown
There are not many notable people with the name, as it is an extremely rare name due to the sheer power of it's meaning. The few that bear the name tend to hold a certain amount of power over their chosen industry, with Keith Olbermann being USA's answer to Richard Whitely, the King of Countdown, God, or Keith Neil Godwinn to use his full name, being the creator of the universe, and Keith Chegwin being a behemoth of comedy. Further, my dad's name is Keith and he possesses a certain amount of power over his chosen industry.
==Peons not worthy of the name==
Keith may NOT refer to;
* You
* Chris Crocker
* Tay Zonday
==Instructions==
If you know a man bearing "The Name", stay on his good side. Contact the authorities (They won't care, but that sounded appropriate). If you hear the name in public, try to contain the fear, as it will make you seem like a wimp.
==See also==
* Neil, Even scarier; the only name to strike fear into the hearts of Men, Women, Children, Aardvarks and Giraffes. 
* Scary
Category:Names
Category:Pages that wisna written by a body that's mither tongue is Scots
Keith Urban

Keith Urban is an New Zealander-Australian-Bible Beltanian Cuntry singer, who was born in New Zealand, but emigrated to Australia where he used to play guitar, read Bible and dream about moving to Nashville, Tenesie... Tennessy... Tennnesssee... I don't know. After 5 years of living a peaceful, country life, he moved to the capital of this beautiful state. He is also the Fuhrer and Pope of the nation of Mauritius.
== His early days ==
Keith Urban was born in New Zealand quite a while ago, as the result of a failed abortion. His first few days were a fight for life, having been born with a saline needle sticking out of his skull and with undeveloped lungs. But after being promoted from the Iron Lung to a more porous version, we was given the all-clear, and so started his rise to stardom.
Keith took an interest in playing the banjo by the age of six, and showed considerable talent. This, coupled with his redneck attitude and education (or lack thereof), made it blatantly obvious that a career in Cuntry music was on the cards. He also had a couple of aces, a six and a two, but that is beside the point.
Keith has also declared himself the Fuhrer and Pope of Mauritius. Since no one has really cared to disagree, he is now the de facto leader of the nation.
== Music Career ==
Keith started small, playing in local clubs and pubs around Australia. But his appetite for success was insatiable, so he emigrated three days later to America so he could make his mark on the industry.
His first attempts at becoming a noticed artist went unnoticed, and this was noticed by Keith. As he found out, Cuntry music is SO yesterday.
As a result of his failure, Keith changed direction entirely, and reconsidered his options. After much thought during a drinking and drug binge, Keith Urban promptly joined the death metal act Cannibal Corpse as lead vocalist. His success, as of today, is unparalleled.
== Oggling ==
Many young women tend to "oggle" over this artist but they live in a dream. Of course, it is every girls dream to "be with" a worn out, old, crackling, drugged up, strung out, puffing, alcoholic. The problem is that these girls live in a delusion. These are the same kind of girls that trip over air, can't pronounce the word energetic, and don't know the difference between a hammer and a wrench. There is no point to this false hope because they will never succeed in having a relationship with this pile of sleaze. They may as well fantasize about the ant Flik from A Bug's Life...
== Discography ==
*You Look Good In My Skirt, (1990)
*Mouse In My Guitar, (1991)
*Snowing On Monday, (1992)
*My Surname, (1996)
*Whenever I Fall, (1999)
*Suburban Urban, (2000)
*Bushfire, (2002) (featuring Olivia John-Newton)
*Who Wouldn't Wanna Be With Me, (2006)
*Where The Blacktop Ends: 20 Years Of Urban Legends, (2010)
Category:Musicians Who Suck So Monumentally...
Category:Australian musicians
Category:Popes
Kellogg's Frosties

Kellogg's Frosties was a brand of elf cereal in the little country of Sweden which was invented during the war against Uruguay.
It was supposed to be an substitute to food for the human slaves, (also known as fjortisar, or fjårtisar) at the massive concentration camps in Gothenburg.
== The religious war against Kellogg's, 1992 ==
When the Frosties was released, a massive wave of religious extremists, lead by George W. Bush, started protests all over the country, which lead to bombings all over the eastern realms of Sweden. The massive holes soon got filled with rainwater and falling codfish and is now called the baltic sea, because of the round ball pit bombs which was dropped. Unfortunately the man who named it, Göran Persson, didn't know how to spell ball.
So the correct spelling of the sea should be "the BALLtic sea".
== The Fjortis riot, 1999 ==
In 1998 the fjortisar planned a massive jailbreak which took action in the first months of 1999.
The prisoners were full of hate and frosties, which not only contains extreme amounts of sugar, but also a high concentration of ecstasy. This gave the fjortisar amazing powers, such as hyperactivity, ability to shot lasers with there eyes and no need to sleep.
The fjortisar gained a lot of power in politics. 
You can still see a lot of fjortis politics in today's riksdag. Some examples are: Mona Salin, Maud Olofsson, Gudrun Schyman, Fredrik Reinfeldt, Osama bin Laden, Jimmie Åkesson (even though he isn't a fjortis, he is a sverigedemokrat and he still has the same brainpower as one).
== The Anna Lindh murder, 2003 ==
In September 2003 Anna Lindh was murdered by a man named Mijailo Mijailović.
The man was outraged about Anna Lindh's support for the Kellogg's corporation, but what he didn't realize was that he had eaten frosties that morning, and was in fact high on sugar and ecstasy himself. The man, who was very ugly, shot Lindh, who was funny-looking, with his super-duper lasers and killed the politician who morphed into a shape shifting evil changeling who looked evil and fed on love!.
Category:Food
Kelsall

Kelsall is a small village somewhere in England.
It is very small.
It is very boring.
left|thumb|197px|Kelsall, looking very small and unloved. Which it is.
According to the last census, the population of Kelsall is this:
Pop : 7 (including 2 squirrels, and a stray dog)
Note: The dog has yet to declare residence.
 
Any people who live in kelsall are mad, and should be dealt with with extreme pity.
The inhabitants, who are widely recognised as being nothing more than semi-evolved simians, tend to stay indoors or, when they do go outside, take to the refuge of the building known as "co-op" where they cluster in small social groups, usually with a dominant male in each. You can tell which is the dominant male by how many "Hoodies" he has adorned himself with. These are usually trophies of fights with lesser males.
Any intelligent life in Kelsall tends to make its way into the nearby settlement known as Chester. 
The village chief is a small man who claims to be descended from Genghis Khan, and has thus spent all of the village's money on weaponry. As the income rate of Kelsall is in total something like £2 a month + an acorn or two, The most Genghis' relative was able to dig up was a rather rusty butter knife.
At last word he was said to have been hiding out in his house with his wife and a local chicken, which he claimed kept them alive.
== Advice to tourists ==
Leave.
This is the approach taken by most people when they take sight of Kelsall. 
Honestly, leave.
Well, if you insist on staying I suppose I must humour you and write about some things to do.
There really isn't much.
Ok fine then. In Kelsall you can:
# Take a hike. No I'm serious, I'm not telling you to get lost again, you seem to be quite adept at mishearing that part.
# See the apes in their drug-infused paradise in the field (affectionately called the wreck by locals).
# Visit "co-op". Here you can buy all the goods one would expect from a village, such as milk, eggs, and Black Death (although this can be gotten for free outside).
# Take a jog across local farming lands. (NB: Shooting you with a shotgun is just a local farmer's way of saying "Hi").
# Take a bus out of Kelsall. ~ This option is recommended.
== Imports/Exports ==
Oh you want this written down all nice & neat do you? Easily done, but hardly worth it...
Imports:
Mostly just air, really.
Bags of drugs
Exports:
Fleeing residents.
Fouled up air.
A cabbage or two.
== Famous people and Kelsall. ==
Category:Surreal_Places
Category:Bad Places To Go For Holidays
Category:Towns in England
Ken Kesey

Ken Kesey (September 17, 1935 – November 10, 2001) wrote a book, a good book in fact, then spent the best part of thirty years frying his brains in the name of progress. He went bald at a young age and "dug" old school buses.
==Early life==
Ken Kesey (née Neville Kensington Keysterworth III) was conceived in Colorado, and was born soon after.
From an early age he displayed a predilection for mind-altering substances, and was repeatedly disciplined for attempting to make Capri Sun in his kindergarten classroom.
By 1957 Kesey had graduated to harder drugs. It was at this time, during a three-day crystal meth bender, that Kesey discovered his aptitude for wrestling. This talent for wrestling took Kesey first to and then to Stanford University. Due to his impressive grappling abilities, multiple security guards and police officers were required to remove Kesey from both campuses in order to prevent injuries to the respective schools' students.
==Descent into LAX==
In 1959 the Stanford police department sold Kesey to the Menlo Park Veterans Hospital for the testing of psychoactive drugs. A number of conspiracists have theorized that this experience inspired him to begin writing. However, in a number of interviews Kesey himself has asserted that "the title just came to [him]" during a non-stop flight from Miami to Los Angeles.
With the money earned from the success of his first novel, Kesey either moved to La Honda, California, or purchased a Honda in California, in the mid 1960s. Few historical records exist for this era, but historians and anthropologists are quite positive that some form of transportation came into the picture during this time.
==Trivia, other, etc.==
Kesey wrote a bunch of other stuff, and did a metric crapload of drugs. Enough to kill a burro. Soon after moving to Oregon, he died. While the cause of death is unclear, doctors suspect that it may have been caused by, or related to, the copious amounts of drugs that Kesey consumed throughout his life.
Category:Writers