Harry Reid

Harry Mason Reid (born December 2, 1939) is a devilish United States Senator from the State of Nevada and the current United States Senate Majority Leader. He is known for having the phone number of Satan programmed on his speed dial. He is also a licensed and practising Lawyer. It is also reported that Harry Reid and his son Clark County Nevada County Commissioner Rory Reid were Cloned from the same petri dish.
== Early life ==
Harry Reid was born in Searchlight, Nevada, An inhabited Ghost Town about 50 miles south of Las Vegas to Inez and Harry Reid I. He attended Basic High School in Henderson, Nevada where he played football and was first exposed to fundamental Mormonism. Reid attended Southern Utah University where he was gifted his first wife, Eve. and Utah State University where he was gifted his second wife Chloë Sevigny. Reid attended and graduated from George Washington University Law School where he was gifted his third wife Genavieve (elder sister of FLDS Leader Warren Jeffs.
After receiving his J.D. Harry returned with his three wives and growing family to Nevada to serve as the City Attorney of Henderson, NV. In 1968, the Grand Pubah of the Mormons instructed all the little Mormons to elect Harry to the Nevada State Assembly.
== Political career ==
In 1970, Harry had caught the eye of the Uber Grand Pubah of the FLDS in Colorado City who now ordered all the little Mormons to elect Brother Harry to the office of lieutenant Governor. In 1977, the National Council of Mormon Pubahs became concerned that they were not getting their share of the skim from the Mob run Casinos in Nevada. So the Council had the Governator appoint Harry to the Nevada Gaming Board.
thumb| Left to right, Commissioner Rory Reid and Sen Harry Reid address a press conference jointly to prove they are actually 2 different people.
Even with mandates from the Grand Pubah for all the little Mormons to vote for Harry, He Managed to loose his first bid for the United States Senate in the 1970s. He also managed to loose a bid for the mayors office of Las Vegas (Perhaps because he was from Searchlight and lived in Henderson, neither being within the city limits of Las Vegas. But the Pubahs were undaunted. Under threat of excommunication and the seizure of every Mormons second wife, the FLDS Church got Harry elected the first Congressional district seat in 1983. Harry served 2 terms in the House of Reprehensibles.
thumb|left| Fourth wife of Harry Reid, Rachel Maddow will assume YOU (the reader) is a complete F#&%ing idiot and grin at you smugley / ugly if you don't vote for or agree with her man.
In 1987, Harry won his seat in the Senate. Harry once again relied on the instructions of the Pubahs but in addition, Harry promised to help tone down the image of the Senate. Vowing to be more sedate then out of control, over charismatic Senators like Paul Simon of Illinois.
== Family connections ==
First, the author takes a little license... tracking family connections in Mormon families can get a little confusing. We've all heard of six degrees separation and even six degrees of Kevin Bacon, well with Mormons, if you manage to make it to three degrees of separation, call Guinness. That said, we'll keep it limited to Rory.
Rory Reid Is Number One Son from Harry's first wife. This makes Rory the eldest of 27 children. Rory serves as Chairman of the Clark County Board of Commissioners. Like his father, Rory was elected through an edict from the Nevada Council of Mormon Pubahs. He is stunningly similar to his father in tone, appearance and dress. So much so that when campaigning for their respective offices door to door, they are often asked to leave ones property under threat of trespassing charges only to reply... "No Ma'am, I'm sorry, you must be thinking of my dad who stopped by yesterday, I'm Rory Reid and I'm your county commissioner.
== Political alliances ==
After President Barack Obama, Harry is the defacto leader of the Democratic party. As such, Harry Reid wields great power (As long as he clears everything with Nancy Pelosi first. 
With years of experience in dealing with trade Unions both in Nevada and on a national level along with big business such as gaming and mining, Harry has the juice to bring money and power to bare on the side of his issues. Harry has been heard to say {candidly} "If I can get Rory elected to office, I can do just about whatever I want."
== Controversy ==
In an early 2010 Town Hall Meeting in Indiana President Obama Repeated a gaff from late 2009 where he told people they can't / shouldn't go to Las Vegas. The timing seemed odd as the president was scheduled to visit Las Vegas the very next week to help raise money for Harry Reids re-election. Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman blasted back at the Presidents comments in a televised conference "“He’s not our friend. I don’t know about Nevada, but Las Vegas, he’s sure not our friend,” Goodman said. “He has a real psychological hang-up about the entertainment capital of the world.” “Everybody says I shouldn't say it, but I've got to tell you the way it is. This president is a real slow learner,” Goodman, an independent minded Democrat later sent a 2-page letter to President Obama explaining how damaging his comments about the city of Las Vegas were to the local economy. In a town hall meeting the following week at Henderson, Nevada's Green Valley High School, President Obama clearified his position. "What I meant to say is you can't go to Las Vegas... Unless you're raising money...for Harry Reid... Then it's okay. My mom likes Vegas. My wife likes Vegas... Harry Drives through Vegas on his way to the Airport... Next preselected, softball question... You sir..."
Category:American lawyers
Category:United States Senators