Spacebar

T h e S p a c e b a r , a . k . a . t h e C o s m i c p u b i s a s o r t   o f   i n t e r   g a l a c t i c  p u b.    It'swherethescumofthegalaxycomeanddrink.TheSpacebarislocatedattheotherendoftheuniverseastheRestaurantattheEndoftheUniverse.Theoddmistakentravelbrochuretothecontrary,thisdoesnotmeanthattheSpacebarislocatedatthebeginningoftheuniverse,since,
Guy walks into a spacebar and sitsdown bartendersays what'll ya have guy says
control-alt-delete please bartender gives him a dirty look and says we don't serve carpaltunnel here. Eithertemporallyorspatially.Theyareownedbythesamecompany,IntergalacticHospitalityGroup,(whoalsoownthePlutoHilton).
EverybodyknowsyournametherebecauseeveryonewhogoestheremustchangetheirnametoSusan.
Thespacebarwasdesignedtobethelongestpubinthegalaxy,farfarlongerthanyouraveragepunykey,toattractmoreclientelle.Itisasadfactthatpeoplestillmissitswhereaboutsandendupdrinkinginlowerqualitydrinkingholes,liketheescapekey.
==Computerspacebar==
Thespacebarisakeyonacomputerkeyboardthatstopswordsfromcrashingtogether.Whenthishappensitcanbeveryawkwardtoreadthetextandcausesdiscomforttotheviewer.Thespacebaristraditionallyplacedsothatitcanbeeasilyaccessedbyeitherhand,orbyeitherthumbinthecaseoftouchtyping.Itisuniqueinbeingtheonlykeyonthekeyboardthatcanbereliablyoperatedbycats-theirpawsaremuchtoolargeforeveryotherkeyandusuallyenduptypingthingslike
uoikj
or
erd5f
a
Manypeoplesuggestthatopposoblethumbsmakepressingthespacebareasier,thoughmanystudieshaveshownthatthisissimplynottrue.Thisisnotparticularlysurprisingasthistheoryismainlystipulatedbycats,thebastards.
SpacebarisaletteroftheEnglishAlphabet.Spacebarispronunciationofthe28letterofthealphabet,#####.Itisalsooneofthemostusefulkeysonthekeyboard.Itislocatednexttothetimebar.
SomepeopleareunabletousethespacebarastheysufferfromBrokenSpaceBarDisorder.
SpaceBarisalsoacandybar.Itconsistsmainlyofemptyspaceanddoesn'toffermuchsatisfactiontothetastebuds.3/10.
TheSpacebarisalsoauniversalsemencollectorandmarketingployformicrosoft,asitoftengetsstuckbetweenthekeysandyouhavetobuyanewkeyboardbecausetheoldoneistoogummedup.
Now,pleasehammeronthespacebartocontinue.Spacebarabuseispunishablebylawandyourlogicalsentincewilllooklikea10yearoldtypedit.
==PresidentSpaceBar==
SpaceBar,bornBackspaceBarrShiftkey,wastheVice-Presidentfortheever-controversialEscapeKey,whowasthe5thand20thpresidentoftheUnitedStates.Aftertheconclusionofhisterm,BarspentsometimeattheBettyFordRehabCenterandtheHalliburtonBoardofDirectors,arecreationalcomplexforex-vice-presidents.
TheLife,Times,andDividesofSpaceBar
Barworkedhardonthefieldoftransmogrification,specializinginthetransformationoffooditemsintoanimalswithspecifictemperaturesandtheconversionofmildlyentertainingrockbandsintoelectronicdevicesandbodyparts,aswellastheatricalpieces,againwithcustomizedtemperatureconditions.Mostnotablyinhiscareerwerehisworksonhotdogs,RadioheadsandColdplays.
SeveralcompanieslobbiedagainsttheworksofSpaceBar,includingMicroSoft,AltaVista,BlauPunktandHoneyWell.Duringhistermasvice-president,healsoenduredadiplomaticcrisiswiththeGermangoverment,knownforitsabuseoftermssuchasdieRidikulouslongwortanddasWirdontlikenspacen.
==FunfactsaboutSpaceBar==
*Hisfavoritenumberis42.
*Middlesonoffourbrothers:Alt,Space,AltGrandEpsteinBar.
*BrotherofBeatlesdrummer,RingoShift(néeRichardShiftkey)
*SpaceBaralwaysbinds'Shoot'-actiontotheSpaceBar,andnotthemorecommon'Jump'-action.
*InSovietRussia,barspacesYOU!!
*OneofthreepeopleinAmericabelievesthat'Spacebar'isachocolatebar,INSPACE.
*Spacebarispronouncedspa-SEE-bah(specialthankstoMicrosoftSam)
*providesapleasurablefeelingwhenyoupressit
*InventedbyWilliamWordsworth
*Itisthelongestkeybecauseithasasuperioritycomplex
==QuotesOnTheSpacebar==
==SpaceBarIsNotSpaCebar==
ManyhaverumoredthatSpaceBarisinfactSpaCebarbutthosepeopleareprettydrunkmostofthetimeandalsothinkDouglasAdamswroteHamlet.
SpacebarA.K.A.alt+0160
==Seealso==
*BrokenKeyboard
*TenForward
*SpaceShuttle
*UnPoetia:SpaceBar
Category:Bars
Category:AGH MY EYES
Category:Pages that don't look like the things they're about
de:Spacebar
es:Quiensehallevadolabarraespaciadora
nl:Spatiebalk
pt:Barra de Espaço