nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Evil Thingy

== The Beggining of the Evil Thingy ==
An evil thingy is a savage beast that lives deep in the heart of Russia, and in the office of Democrats as well. The evil thingy pretty much looks like a random assortment of different beings, and is a distant cousin of The Great Cthulhu. Wait, do you smell that? 
Yeah, you do. You know what that is? It smells like an evil thingy. My God!!! Hurry follow me! We must run away. Let's hide over here in this cave with teeth. Very good. Now, where was I? Oh yes, I was talking about 
== The Smell ==
It smells kind of like chocolate bars and pine trees. A very odd combination, don't you think? What? Of course this cave isn't moving! Wait a minute. Do caves usually have teeth? I didn't think so... Hmm... shit.
So, do you like wanna, run away and yell and stuff? Good idea. Ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright. We're okay now. Let's sit down over there next to the pretty sign. Ahh, that's better. I'm tired from running from that evil thing. It is said that the evil thingy smells like chocolate bars and pine trees mostly because it lives in the woods. Wait, it lives everywhere. So why- never mind. Now, we've talked about the smell, let's talk about some
== Evil Thingy Theories ==
Some think that the evil thingy can change shapes. Yeah, it's freaky, I know. One minute it's a clown, the next it's a Michael Jackson look-a-like. Spooky. It can also... what? Hey... why are you glowing that pretty green aura? Weird. Hey, ME TOO! Awesome! Wait... did you hear that? Let me take a look in those bushes that would be great for an ambush. I'll be right back.
AWW, SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Zombies everywhere!!! Run for your fucking lives!!!!!!
Yeah, now like I was saying. The Evil Thingy also can look like any human. Yeah, that's how it infiltrated the government. In fact, many speculate that the entire Democratic party is comprised of Evil Thingies. That's how they'll take over the world. 
Hey, what's that old guy doing? Watch out, he's eating your flesh. Yeah, just let me find some band-aids. Meanwhile you can take this revolver and shoot him in the head. good job. Now just lay over here and we'll fix those bite-marks. I don't care if the ground feels weird. Probably rocks. 
I'm only tying you with rope to keep you from getting us near any more weird stuff. It was NOT my fault! A train? I don't hear anything...
Alright, alright, I'll admit it, I WAS AN EVIL THINGY ALL ALONG! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
You know too much. So I must dispose of you. Well, it's been great. See you around.
== Evil Thingy Activities ==
Now that you're dead, I can explain what we do. Evil thingies do stuff that you don't want them to do. They will delete all of your computer files & bash your loved ones into a tree. We also happen to enjoy approving tax bills and pretending to care about the stupid populace of non-Evil Thingys. Not that we don't to some extent. We just happen to care only about using them to further our cause. Haha, you can't do anything about it. So sad.
Category:Evil
Evil Villian

Hello there Agent . I have been expecting you. As you can see, there is no escape from my crib evil lair. You are surrounded by my best henchmen, the Giant Midget, Mistress Manly and Generic Lieutenant whose name slips my mind at the moment. You will never stop my plan to destroy/take over the world!
== My Ultimate Plan... ==
I know I shouldn't be mentioning this to you but I mght as well tell you every detail of my plan including the ONE way to stop it. By now, I have taken over all the Blockbusters in the entire world. Soon I will release a DVD that will kill all the people who watch it! And the only way to stop it is by pushing this button right here. Mhm, yea, this big, red one right here. One push and all of this will be over. No traps near it either. Anyhoo... this is my ultimate plan. Although I said the same for all the other mastermind plans that you stopped before, but hey, 24th time is the charm.
== Now, what to do with you? ==
I will now kill you. Even though I could have you killed right here, right now, I feel as though I MUST put you in a cleverly thought out trap that gives you the chance to stop me and my doomsday weapon. So, HENCHMEN! Put on a small platform surrounded by lazors and sharks that can all be avoided easily if your timing is right. Now I shall engage my plans. You have some time to stop it, five and a half minutes to be precise.
== Haha! ==
Now I shall watch you as you die!
== Maybe I should have thought this through a bit more... ==
Alright, you made it through the dead trap. I suppose you think you're so cool. Well guess who I have here? That's right... I have kidnapped your fish. You have 200000.7 minutes to kill the nearest bald eagle or your pet fish dies! I got my gun right here.
== Wait, what?! ==
This isn't your pet fish?!?
== Well... ==
ufuhfgtnjggtfgtthg
It would still be a shame if it was hurt right? No? Ok, well, um.....oh look! A monkey! Hah, now I shall make my escape through this escape pod. We will meet again, I can garentee that. Before I go though, I'm going to give you a little parting gift. Wait, a sec... I just remember that there's no more gas in the escape pod. Oh well, at least both of us will die together.
== SELF DESTRUCT SEQENCE ACTIVATED ==
THIS CRIB EVIL LAIR WILL ASPLODE IN ONE MINUTE. BEGINNING COUNT DOWN...SIXTY...FIFTY NINE.......SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE DEACTIVATED
== Crap... ==
Why did I have to put the de activate button right there?!? Don't worry, I will be back, I'll always be back!
== Wait a sec... ==
Holy crap, A GUN! I'm sorry for trying to kill you please don't shoot, I'm too young and smart to d.....
Category:Random
Evolution

Despite the Liberals forcing our children to learn this lie in schools, it is a lie and is not supported by The Bible.
== The so called "truth" ==
Although any god loving, beer fearing, flag bearing, gun hanging American would know that Evolution is a lie, let's see what Liberals have to say about this. According to the Liberals, evolution is the TRUTH! However, in Genesis 2:2-3, it is said that "on the seventh day, God ended His work which He had done. And then on the 8th day God created Conservatives like Ihateliberals123 to tell the world that evolution is a lie". This CLEAR evidence shows how LIBERALS are LYING! The Liberals say that Charles Darwin (Satan Spawn) found finches which had evolved. But I've never seen a finch, and I asked God yesterday and he told me that finches are made up by the LEGACY, MAINSTREAM MEDIA to support the LIE of EVOLUTION!
Fine, let's have these Liberals say some more lies on evolution. It will probably be funny. First off, the infamous Liberal Adolf Hitler stated in 1941 "Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer!", which directly translates to "Evolution is the change in the heritable characteristics of biological populations over successive generations". These big words HURT my BRAIN! Clearly a lie designed to force the people of Germany into following the Woke Antifa supporter Adolf Hitler. Liberal Liberal on the wall, what is the biggest lie of them all? It's EVOLUTION!!! Donald Trump, I am tired of engaging with these lies. Donald Trump, please save me. Please save me Donald Trump
Category:Stub
Category:Lies
Category:Made-up Science
 
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about (hidden)
Category:Vital articles
es:Teoría de la Evolución
Evolution of life

This is a brief overview of how life on earth began and diversified. (with some commentary)
==Wet Phase==
Archaea first crawled from the primodial soup aeons ago. Most became plants, but a few hipsters waited for it to dry out a little.
==Less Wet Phase==
Animals started with small, thin worms with the intelligence of a potato of worm-level intelligence. A few failed to move from this stage, but most carried on, to become fish or lobsters.
==Wetish Phase==
This was the crowning time of the fish, where they outnumbered all species. The lobsters were rather unhappy, as they where trapped on the seafloor, and could only get the poop of the fish and worms (I don't know how they survived, either).
==Damp Phase==
When land appeared (It was more just muddy water than real land), the lobsters and crabs were on that like their descendants on their former food. With the arthropods finally gone, the fish evolved legs and became salamanders. By the time they emerged on land, the arthropods had already (somehow) reached modern complexity.
==Semi-Dry Phase==
Mammalian creatures evolved first (I know it doesn't make sense). Some became predators. These followed the unevolved salamanders to the badlands. The salamander gained hard scales all over, and became reptiles. The predators gained scaly feet and a bipedal gait, and became dinosaurs. The mammals proper evolved after the dinosaurs returned, by making a deal with an ancient parasitic fish to have the ability store young within themselves. Some ascended the trees to become smarter, and (unfortunately) descended as a human. Some dinosaurs (Yeah, they're still there) evolved to fly, and became birds (I know that makes no sense, but it's the truth)
(WAIT, DON'T GO!!!)
==Dry Phase==
This phase has yet to happen, so it is all speculation (Meaning it's just stupid ramblings). The fish will go extinct (Really?), as well as many slimy creatures. As the fish and stuff go away, ripples will go up the food chains, killing the remaining reptiles, mammals, and birds. A few will survive, while the rock-headed apes will go into space to make the whole universe a dry place (with their salt).
== See also ==
*Evolution
*Evolution of an Uncyclopedia editor
*Evolution of E
*Evolution of Heavy Metal
*Evolution of the Cow
*Evolution of the turtle
Category:Biology
*
Ew

right|300px
Ew (pronounced ee-Hugh) or Eew is a digraph in the Latin alphabet, used mostly in the French language in words that describe things that are very clean, beautiful and/or tasty, mostly classic gourmet desserts such as 当ufs à la merde (Dumped rotten eggs) and Bonbons de p当k (Vomit-filled bonbons). In the English language, it is used in only one word: Unnews. It was originally called UNNS (Uncyclopedia News Source) but was forced to have a letter added to it by the United Nations and by "The Nova Scotian" news site. Ew is also featured in the white Slang word jEW; The reasons for that could be remote for some people who "have a lot of Jewish friends", i.e. Mel Gibson.
==Usage==
thumb|right|The Grunge bacteria known as EW (Latin: Bleachus Trackuno) is often injected to dying people in order to help them get into a nirvana.|200px
In popular culture, Ew in its grapheme form 当 has been known as the official logo of gangsta rapper Eminem's official fan club, "∃WIИ∃W Я∩13Z". The logo first appered in his "Britney's mama's out of the closet" video, in a scene where Christina Aguilera is being raped in the ear by Paris Hilton's dog.
Scottish Archeologist and trainspotting artist Mark "Ewan the terrible" McGregor became famous after he discovered the Toilets cave. While he was shoving his head in the cave for the first time, he had to bend over and everyone were able to see his butt beneath his skirt. The females who were there has commented: "Eew, this guy's a real dish!" and that's how he got his nickname. 
In sports, Shaquille O'Neal's dad, basketball legend and current supermodel Patrick "Ewing" O'Neal Senior, has been known for his common usage of Ew during games; For example, in 1996 he was blocked by Bugs Bunny (the most stoned NBA player ever) while screaming "Eeew!! It's a rabbit!". He later explained this with his great desire for rabbit meat and the fact that he was hungry.
==See Also==
*ED
category:letters
Category:French inventions
category:words
Category:Ew
Excalibur

Excalibur (In Ye Olde Englishe, XCALBUR) is a legendary plumber's helper, passed on through generations of noble warriors, and wielded by the strongest men in history. It was also a very fast car driven by King Arthur. But, for the most part, it was a plumber's helper, and a very powerful and kick-ass plumber's helper at that. 
Through the ages, Excalibur has passed through the hands of many men, mortal and not-so-mortal. It has even passed through the hands of some animals (regardless of the fact that most animals don't actually have hands). Obviously, most of those animals ended up dead at their own hands (which, once again, they didn't actually have).
== King Arthur ==
The most reputed wielder of Excalibur, King Arthur
was the king of the Anglo-Saxons, a tribe of English-speaking people who never brushed their teeth and didn't realize that it was always foggy where they lived. With Excalibur, King Arthur defeated the evil prostitute/half-sister/mistress Morgan le Fay, and slew his unwanted son/nephew Mordred
. 
Alas, In the fight with Mordred, Arthur sustained mortal wounds. Legend has it that, with his dying breath, he told one of his knights to take Excalibur to Walden Pond and give it to Henry David Thoreau, who would protect the blade until Arthur returned from Avalon, the magical water bottling and treatment plant of legend. King Arthur never returned, but the sword lived on. 
Note: Excalibur is also the given name of the car King Arthur drove, a black, 1986 Ford Mustang.
== Bambi ==
Bambi was a deer, and the only animal to ever successfully wield Excalibur (although it remains a mystery as to how he did so). Although it is only legend, it is said Camelot Forest was also home to Walden Pond, where Bambi received the sword from reputed physicist Henry David Thoreau. 
Bambi, as seen in the action-documentary movie of the same name, was the vigilant protector of Camelot Forest. Bambi and his side-kick, John the Epileptic, fought the evil hordes of monsters conjured by the wizard Gargamel. Using the infinite power of Excalibur, Bambi destroyed Gargamel and returned peace to Camelot Forest. 
Sadly, Bambi was killed by a semi-truck years later while crossing a highway at night. Excalibur ricocheted off the truck's grill and pierced a Bob Evans sign, where it remained for 3000 years, waiting for its next owner.
== Ving Rhames ==
Ving Rhames
== Mario ==
Mario once used excalibur in a fight against Bowser, the supreme ruler of all the koopas. He defeated him but decided to not accept the throne due to an advice by Sailor Moon and The King Of All Cosmos.
Category:Swords
Category:Middle Ages
ja:エクスカリバー
zh-tw:X卡利巴
Exclamation point

The exclamation point is the indicated location of an English sentence where the orgasm occurs. 
==How the Exclamation Point Works==
First, the reader caresses and undresses the initial word of the sentence with his roaming eyes. This sensuous action sets up a potential near the beginning of the eager young sentence, similar to an irresistible electric charge. Word follows word in unbridled grammatical expectation, drawing the reader into heaving and pulsating semantics, which are often accompanied by intense mental imagery. 
As the end of the sentence begins to draw nearer and nearer, the reader experiences the rhythmic pounding of metaphor clashing against metaphor. With only three short words to go, reader and sentence thrash wildly in the sheer throes of mutual literary passion. The very last word is the point of no return, when, suddenly, the intimate truthfulness of the sentence hits the reader with wave upon wave of ecstatic energy; and at that precise moment, the final symbol (namely, "!") hits the reader's raw and sensitive optical nerve centre with such compelling force that he (or she) is convulsed with an inner emotional and logical explosion; this is the exquisite release of pent-up tension which the reader has expended great effort to reach. The exhausted reader then collapses into a blithering puddle of sheer contentedness.
==What If There Is No Exclamation Point?==
If instead, the sentence happens to end with a mere period full-stop (.) or question mark (?), the reader is left dazed, confused, and cheated. Truly, a pathetic waste. 
==Multiple Exclamation Points==
The use of multiple exclamation points is discouraged, as most people are incapable of reading them. However, if you know your audience, a properly placed series of several exclamation points can raise your sentence to a new threshold of wonder. Take caution when using multiple exclamation points, as only true masters can reliably sustain them. 
==Other Languages==
In Spanish, a sentence begins with an upside-down exclamation point (¡). What fun is that? 
==See Also==
*Mental masturbation
Category: Language
Excrement

An excrement is a peculiar piece of organic waste, produced by humans and animals of the like. It may look like chocolate, but should may approached with caution, as it doesn't taste like chocolate at all.
For further information on this subject, please see:
* Shit
* Crap
* Feces
* Poop
* Doody
== See also ==
* The shits
* Constipation
* Diarrhea
* I maed a yuky doody
Category:ShitCategory:PoopCategory:Bodily functions
Excursion

As Ford rolled through car production, it decided that there was a lack of large, obnoxious vehicles for small mothers who can't drive. Thus, they created the Ford Excretion and its successor, the Ford Excursion. Later, they created the "Ford Excrement", but sales were poor due to only being available in brown. They managed to complete the goal of beating Hummer to creating the ultimate Douchebagmachine. Hummer came in second with the H2.
== What Makes it Great? ==
What makes this vehicle so great is, of course, due to its ability to block traffic, slow down traffic, annoy other drivers, or use large quantities of gasoline. Gasoline, the only tasty fuel left on Earth with infinite quantities, and the Excursion are the two tightest of friends.
A feature of the Excursion no one can miss is how easily it can take up the entire road. Just imagine: You are a small, petite woman who finds driving a difficult task. Now, instead of taking up only one lane, you can take up two! It is so much easier to stay between the lines of a lane two lanes wide than one. With its very large rear view mirrors, the driver can now apply make-up, or even watch their single child in the back seat without having to pay their normal 2.38% attention to the road. 
Also, having your way on the road is now easy. Because of its large body, caring about other drivers on the road is a difficult task. The Excursion was designed to run other drivers off the road, and engineered for maximum lack of visibility of the driver. This helps to increase the tension in other drivers, and overall nervousness when driving near the Excursion. In other words, no one would want an Excursion close to them. What a great way to prevent a drive-by, or get your single child to school on time a mile away! 
The Excursion is now gone but ford has replaced it with the Expediton and Expediton EL. It is the same thing as the Excursion it just has IRS and IFS. (indepent rear sissyfacation and inferior front suspention) This makes it weaker than Chevy's Tahoe and Suburban so that the owner has to take it to the to dealer more often so ford can make more money to research more ways to make their vehicals weaker.
== Postcursion ==
It is very common nowadays to find Excursions on the road. It is rumored that the Excursion was actually created for towing, but obviously that's not why people buy them. It is 50,833% likely that the rumor is false. This vehicle is actually used for driving distances below 10 miles. When Ford has created enough Excursions for everyone, Ford plans to create the new Postcursion, a 33% larger vehicle. This will be due to the lack of a larger, obnoxious vehicle for small mothers who can't drive.
== See Also ==
* Car manufacturers
* Ford
* Soccer moms
Category: Actual content
Executive Compensation

Ordinary people like you and me receive "pay", if we're lucky enough to have a job. Chief Executive Officers of large companies, and to a lesser extent their yes-men, hired thugs, spittle-lickers etc. receive "compensation." The differences are:
* Compensation is much bigger than pay. Typically it is between 50 and 1,000 times as much. (the average factor is about x400; up from x20 in 1970)
* Compensation does not require knowledge. A breakfast cereal maker can become CEO of a computer company without anyone batting an eyelid.
* Compensation does not require performance. If a company is doing well, the CEO gets lots of money to reward him; if it is doing badly, he gets lots of money to motivate him to do better.
* Compensation does not even require continued employment. If a CEO (a) screws up so comprehensively he has to be fired, or (b) is so successful the company is devoured by a bigger company, he gets several years' compensation in one lump.
Why is this? -- there are four theories, at least.
==Jesus Christ's Theory==
As the Bible says, "For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath" Matt. 13:12 . This quote is hung in most executive washrooms just above the sink.
==What Goes Around, Comes Around==
Executive Compensation is decided by "Compensation" committees. These are made up of CEOs of other companies who are his fellow-golfers/shriners/members of sinister secret societies. It's not their own money, and he will return the favour next time.
==The Lake Wobegon Effect==
Just as in Lake Wobegon School, where all the children are above average, our company is above the industry average. Therefore our CEO should get above the average compensation. Every company in the industry does this, so the average keeps going up until average means about as much as John Travolta in a balloon with a fat lady.
==Rich people are better people==
Why does a CEO want so much? Why $20,000,000.00 rather than $10,000,000.00? There is certainly nothing anyone needs, and probably nothing anyone wants, for which the extra amount would be required. But this is to miss the point. CEOs differ from you and me, not only in having no sense of shame, but also in believing, with every fibre of their being, that a rich person is a better person, in the sight of God and all right-thinking men, than a poor person. 
And a really rich person, such as a CEO, is so much better as to be a different species of hominid, as superior to Joe Schmo as Joe Schmo is superior to a cockroach.
==See also==
*Capitalism
==References==
Category:Economics