Word crawl/Word Crawl Crawl

1. You're sitting at your desk, procrastinating about writing (or not, I dunno, but if you're on the forums...). Write for 5 minutes at your own pace.
2. Eventually you decide to get off the forums and write. However, you can't seem to get a single word into your story, and so you go to the forums again, discovering an interesting word crawl. You think to yourself 'yeah why not, it'll get my word count up'. If you have written less than half of your current average words per day (all of today, not just in this crawl) or if your average is lower than the average you need to write per day, write 500 words. If you've written more than half of your current average, write 300 words.
3. So...you're writing. Well, you're actually reading this line, but let's pretend you're writing. You've passed the second step of your word crawl and you've written a pleasing amount of words (I hope). You go back onto the forums page with the word crawl so you can find out what to do next. The next step is a choice. Choose a, b, c, or d. You'll have to get two six-sided dice. Sorry. They're available online though...
***Don't do the same option twice. If you end up doing all of them, no matter what you get on the last one, go straight to the next step.***
a: roll the dice and add the totals. If your result is six or less, sprint to the nearest 1000 and choose either b, c or d unless you've already done it. If your result if more than six, sprint to the nearest 1000 and go to the next step.
b: roll the dice and subtract the smaller number from the larger number. If the answer is 3-5, do a 10-minute word war. If the answer is 1 or 2, do a 15-minute word war and choose either a, c or d unless you have already done it. If you end up with a 0, do a 3-digit challenge and go to the next step.
c: roll the dice and multiply the two numbers. If your result is higher than 18, write for 20 minutes and go to the next step. If your result is 18 or lower, perform a fifty-headed hydra. If you fail, write another 500 words to catch up and choose a, b or d.
d: roll the dice and divide the larger number by the smaller number. If the result is not a decimal, write 200 words and go to the next step. If the result is a decimal, write 1000 words and choose either a, b or c.
4. Yes, I just made you do maths. But hey at least it worked huh? Anyway, back to the point, you've (finally) passed the third step. Write for 30 minutes for the amount of time it's taken me to get this far (you know, distractions and stuff, kind of like when you procrastinate). Save the amount of words for later reference.
5. This word crawl is actually quite fun (come on you know it is). Step four was a breeze, and now you're on step five. This time it looks like you'll need to write fast. Time to get those fingers moving! Write as fast as you can for 10 minutes. Save amount of words for later reference.
6. You've almost reached the end of the crawl now and your word count is massive (I hope). You write for a bit more, going through a few more steps. Write for 15 minutes at your own pace.
7. What do you know, it's nearly the last step. You decide to check your word count and start to drool at the amount you've written today. If you have written less than 3000 words since the beginning of the crawl, write 1000 words. If you've written more than 3000 words, write 500 words.
8. Time to celebrate because you've written so much today it's pretty damn amazing! Actually before that you need to finish that word crawl you've started. Remember step 4? If you've written less than 1100 words in that step, write another 200 words. That is your new total. If you've written more than 1100 words in that step ignore the first bit. Add your total for step 4 to your total from step 5 and write that many words to polish off.
9. Go outside and relax. Seriously. Your fingers and hands are probably hurting. You need to stay healthy, you know. NaNoWriMo shouldn't take up your entire life.