nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Mondayism

Mondayism is the term used to describe an extreme hatred of Mondays. Somebody who believes in Mondayism is called 'Mondayist'. Mondayism has been related to several recent catastrophes, including the Challenger disaster, the collapse of the world economy in 2008, and the rise of Wolf Blitzer. Famous Mondayists include musician Quincy Jones, tennis hottie Anna Kournikova, and Tony Blair, former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Singer Jimmy Buffett has been accused of being anti-Mondayist, largely based on his song "Come Monday", but additional research has shown that he too absolutely hates Mondays and does not ever, ever want them to come.
== Symptoms ==
Symptoms of Mondayism include the following;
*Not wanting to get up on Mondays
*Doing everything wrong on Mondays
*A fear of Mondays starting on Friday evening
*Small pimple-like spots underneath right armpit (rare)
*Entirely missing out on Monday and waking up on Wednesday
*Invading Iraq
== The First Consequence of Mondayism ==
On the first day, God realized it was Monday. He stayed in bed instead of going to work and, in a fit of malevolent Mondayism, created the universe. As anthropologist and the first President of Scotland Douglas Adams concluded: "In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of
people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
== Subsequent Events ==
Italian inventor and artist Leonardo Da Vinci died on MONDAY the 2nd of May 1519 of a fatal Mondayism attack brought on by his dread of yet another gruelling week of painting and inventing everything.
In Madrid in 1808, Mondayism was responsible for the people's rebellion against French occupation. The uprising took place on a Monday morning when everyone woke up determined not to go back to work after the weekend. 
Franz Schubert picked a Monday to complete the composition of his Symphony #8, but blew it off to go skiing, and it remains unfinished to this day.
==Calendar Reform ==
The World Health Organization has issued a bold plan for the elimination of Mondayism by reducing the week to six days. In an address to the UN on October 4, 2003, WHO Spokesperson Pete Townshend declared, "Monday sucks so let's abolish it first thing next week". Critics pointed out that the first day of the next week was a Monday, so nothing got done, despite Petula Clark's suggestion that Mondays be renamed "Sunday, part two", Pre-Tuesday" or "Shag A Stranger Day".
Category:Philosophy
Monica Lewinsky's Blue Dress

frame|right|The current state of the artifact of a great American era.
A stained blue dress was a single piece of physical evidence that underlay Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr's proof that former U.S. President Bill Clinton received oral sex from a young, powerless intern while First Lady Hillary Clinton practiced running the country.
Emergence of this evidence marked the end of the phase where Clinton wagged his finger at an admiring nation and stated under oath that "there is no sexual relationship"--and began expounding on all the different things "is" could have meant.
==The encounter==
Monica Lewinsky initially met the "President from Hope" (actually, Hot Springs) after responding to the following classified ad from the October 2, 1995 issue of the Washington Times:
In retrospect, this wording may have been problematic.
==Where they are now==
Unfortunately, actions have consequences--at times, even in Washington, D.C.--and the episode led to the impeachment of Clinton, in a case that was never about sex, followed by a vote by a large majority of the U.S. Senate that "We prefer this laughing-stock to Al Gore."
Lewinsky's dress was bought at auction by . He uses it to wash his car, which is often covered with semen. More recently, state funds have been appropriated to repurchase the dress from Scaife and place it in the Smithsonian Institution, as the heart of a display that would commemorate Arkansas' eight years in the limelight.
Lewinsky, after a brief career as a spokeswoman for a diet program, moved to England, a place where such women are held in high esteem.
==See also==
*Keira Knightley In A White Corset And Kate Beckinsale In A Black One
*Petticoating
*P0rn
Category:History of the United States
Category:Stuff that lonely men masturbate over
Category:Bill Clinton
Category:Lewinsky scandal
Monica Lewinsky's résumé

Monica Lewinsky's résumé pretty much sums up why her parents consider her a complete failure at life. It has recently been announced that in 2013 it is to be made into a direct to video movie staring Anne Hathaway.
==Contents of Monica's résumé==
===1989-1990: Wienerschnitzel===
In 1989, 16-year-old Lewinsky landed her first job: a clerk at the fast food chain Wienerschnitzel. Co-workers described Lewinsky as "lazy" and "really not that attractive." After just ten short months, Lewinsky was dismissed from her permission after a large number of sausages went missing from the district manager's office. Although it could not be proven that Lewinsky had gobbled down the manager's sausages, she was nonetheless fired, under the pretext that she created a hostile work environment by menstruating too loudly.
===1993-1995: Office manager===
Lewinsky would not hold a job for another four years, until age 20. In 1993, while attending Lewis & Clark college in Portland, Oregon, she took a job as the manager of a small law office. However, Lewinsky's job performance was uneven. For example, one of her duties was keeping the office tidy, but her boss quickly observed that while she spent a great deal of time polishing the doorknobs, she rarely bothered to clean up various stains around the building. Lewinsky was eventually let go, under the pretense that she had been stealing paper clips.
===1995-1998: White House intern===
After graduating from college, Lewinsky took a job as a White House intern. Co-workers described Lewinsky as "unmotivated" and "unusually lumpy." Soon after Lewinsky was hired, paper clips began to go missing. Because of her previous references, her supervisors were fairly sure that she was stealing them, but were unable to prove it. Ultimately, Lewinsky was let go, under the pretense that she had repeatedly fellated the President of the United States.
===1999: Selling knitted handbags===
For some reason, Lewinsky spent most of 1999 selling knitted handbags. Her business failed after many of the bags were returned, accompanied by complaints that they had arrived with stains on them.
===January 2000 to April 2000: Jenny Craig spokeswoman===
In January 2000, Lewinsky signed a deal with Jenny Craig that, in exchange for $1 million, she would lose 40 pounds. Lewinsky failed. She was swiftly canned from this job for being too fat. It was not a pretext.
===2000 to 2004: Author===
From 2000 to 2004, Lewinsky attempted to make a living as an author. Her first and only book, "My Life," took four years to write despite employing a ghost writer. When the book was finally published, it was discovered that it consisted mostly of Xeroxed ketchup stains and doodles of obese women eating frankfurters. Given that the book probably took approximately three weeks to compile, it is not known what Lewinsky was otherwise doing from 2000 to 2004.
===2005-present: Being a fat British Jew===
In 2005, Lewinsky moved to the United Kingdom, apparently to continue being fat.
This concludes Monica Lewinsky's résumé.
==See Also==
* Monica Lewinsky's Blue Dress
Category:Lewinsky scandal
Category:Politics of the United States
Monk (TV series)

Oh no! It looks like someone has been murdered. Coincidentally, they were murdered in circumstances related to something feared by the typical OCD patient. Again, coincidentally, the detective on the case is OCD-ridden Mr. Monk. He and his flippant assistantEither that Jewish lady who was fired for being too much of a Jewish lady, or the dumb blond. are here to save the day!
== Beginning ==
Get ready for the yellow tape and siren noises. The tough-guy boss with a heart as soft as warm chocolate is on the scene, mercilessly taunting his client Mr. Monk. Meanwhile, randy Randy, the flamboyant police assistant, has his shirt off.And it will remain off for most of the episode. Monk's assistant is complaining about having something important to do relating to her children or love life, but shuts upThank God she stopped being so selfish! when Monk does something adorable.Awwwwww! Suddenly, Mr. Monk notices a clue surprisingly planted in such a way that only an OCD patient would notice. As all the rest of the clues will be; what a coincidence. The chase is on!Cue unnecessary jazz music.
== On the Case ==
To provide the necessary conflict, Mr. Monk will most likely be competing with his fay alter-ego, interacting with his heartbreaking brother,Awwwww! be in the process of being rejecting from the police force yet again, or run into a situation resembling his wife's death.Awwwww! His assistant will look on in amazement While a competent assistant would have put Monk in an insane asylum years ago. as Monk pieces together clues that conveniently lead to the directly to the murderer every time by way of a red herring. But wait!There's more!
== Climax ==
Haha, let's all laugh at the mentally sick patient as he is put into torturous situations for him, like dealing with dentists, snakes, garbage, nudists, or being buried alive.Of course. Isn't it hysterical? Only Monk's courageous heart saves the day, followed by a mandatory 5 minutes of hyperventilating while his assistant congratulates him for a job well done.Completely facetiously, as everyone besides Mr. Monk can see. Meanwhile, Monk lusts after her because of her motherly qualities.Freud would be proud!
== Ending ==
In a tear-jerker of an ending, everyone gets to be happy, even the families of the victims who got revenge, except for Mr. Monk, who tries not to cry while he thinks of his dead wife.Awwwww! Again.Awwwwwwwwww!! Even though she died ten years agoAaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww!!! The camera pulls out as the sun sets.AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!
== References ==
Category:American television series
bar:Monk
it:Detective Monk
ja:名探偵モンク
pt:Monk, um detetive diferente
Monotheism v 4.3

Monotheism v 4.3 refers to the newest version of the monotheistic religion. It is slated to come out in 2010, making it the longest time span of two releases of the faith. 
Unlike its predecessors, Monotheism v 4.3 will be founded entirely on UNIX. It will also be the first to use GUI. 
==History of Monotheism v 4.3==
God first recognized the need for a newer version of monotheism when customers started buying ideas that were not compatible with any of the existing faiths. Especially embarrassing was the Y1K1D1X7I Bug, where some users of the Christian platform found that there faith no longer worked in Christian networks. Other problems with the older platforms included:
*Verbiose instruction manuals
*Difficulty installing in some parts
*Circumcision
Some of the problems were fixed with patches, the biggest of which was the Church of Latter Day Saints (Monotheism v 3.7.3). But in 1901, God realized that the bugs were too ingrained in the faiths to be fixable, and announced that a new version would be released within fifty years. The result was Scientology, now considered to be one of the greatest flops in religious history. 
Following the Scientology failure, Heaven immediately set out to creating a new faith, "Project Tree Frog," completely revamping it instead of keeping most bits and just adding stuff about messiahs, prophets, and space operas.
==Projected Differences Between Version 4.3 and Predecessors==
Unlike previous versions, 4.3 will have a graphical user interface. For example, instead of this,
the system will look like this,
Going along with the more "user-friendly" model, the system will overhaul the Ten Commandments, which were the object of frequent complaint in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. In version 2.1 ("Project Christ"), an attempt was made to streamline the ten into only two, but never caught on. Version 4.3 will have One Suggestion:
*Thou shalt try thy best to not be a complete tool. (Still in beta)
The new system will also get rid of heaven, and just send everyone to hell. It is believed this simplification will appeal to people who normally might not bother with religion.
Category:Religion
pt:Monoteísmo
Monster Energy Drink

Operation: Monster Energy Drink is a military operation designed to destroy all of mankind by making them so incredibly hyper that all people who have even a taste of the energy drink will be instantly killed. The direct result of this will be so that America will be completely unable to defend itself because everyone is so completely stoned on Monster. People who drink this go home to beat their wife.
The plan is for it to be executed on December 21st 2012. This date is unchangeable. The world will end. Everything will be used with Monster.
== History of Monster ==
Monster Energy was launched in the 1970's by the Soviet Union as a part of the three step plan to destroy (The following):
#America
#Tetris
#Monster Energy
#Barack Obama
#Matt Bidwell - kibworth
#RuneScape
#Chuck Norris
#Canadia
After the fall of the Soviet Union, the plans for the downfall fell into the hands of the U.S. Government, which then they used on them selves, originally a military plan to create super soldiers to win over entire battles and wars, codenamed 'Monster'. However, there was only a 1% success rate of super soldiers; the rest of them became couch potatoes who gained 150 pounds and couldn't move from the couch far enough to get the remote on the arm next to them, unless the couch is leather. It has to be leather!
Once they saw the low success rate for the Monster Experiment, the military just said "Fuck it", and sold it to a corporation, who then mass-marketed it and sold it to the public.
After that, drugees suddenly realized where they had gone wrong, drinking coffee all these years to keep themselves awake. Why not drink something that kept you awake and got you high? And illegal drug sales bombed, because the legal hardcore drug was born.
The corporation that created Monster became the richest corporation in the world. Bill Gates is famous for robbing this company at gunpoint repeatedly. Every time Bill Gates robbed this company he left a picture of himself and his big fat chode on their frontdoor, and that is why the police know he robbed them!
==WARNING!==
Recent studies have confirmed that Monster is the number 1 cause of spontaneous sex change in the entire world. A certain ingrediant in monster causes the genitals to genetically mutate. If you drink monster, you will develop opposite sexual organs within days. Tell everyone. Or don't, if you want to be a complete asshole.
== Flavors and Sizes ==
;Flavours
* Original
* Assault
* Warpig
* Spartan
* Gatorade
* wetsuit crotch (the yellow can once known as M-80)
* Dog
* Bat "shut up" Insane
* Caffeine
* Monster, (obviously)
;Sizes
*X-Small
*Medium
*Large
*HFC (Huge Fucking Can)
*Empire State Monster Energy
== See Also ==
*Gatorade
*Energy Drink
*Monster
Category:Beverages
Category:Products
Montgomery County, Maryland

Montgomery County (also known as MoCo and Mongomerry) is the most populous county in the US state of Maryland. It is one of the most diverse counties in the nation. It boasts the wealthiest, poorest, whitest, blackest, and brownest zip codes in the United States. It has a superiority complex with Washington, D.C. and Prince George's County and an inferiority complex with Northern Virginia.
==History==
===Founding===
Montgomery County was carved out of Frederick County on August 31, 1776 when everyone was too busy fighting in the Revolutionary War to pay attention. It was named for Richard Montgomery, who successfully conquered eastern Canada during the Revolutionary War but decided to returned it because it had too many French people. Because it was carved out of Frederick County, it was naturally a majority redneck population.
After George Washington was inaugurated as the first U.S. president in 1789, one of his first orders of business was to establish Washington, D.C. as the national capital. Montgomery County was able to sell off its portion to the federally-controlled district at $500 million per acre.
===19th Century===
Once Washington, D.C. was established, work began on building transportation for the district. Congress approved the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal connecting Washington to Pittsburgh, because in their infinite wisdom they thought Pittsburgh would be relevant and boats moving 3 mph would serve the country's transportation needs. More than halfway through the canal's construction, they realized their misjudgement and instead constructed Interstate 95, the Capital Beltway, and Interstate 270. Everyone in the region hated the roads but agreed they were still better than a waterway with a speed limit of 3 mph.
===20th Century===
The county grew rapidly in the mid to late 20th century, welcoming particularly large groups of Asians. Wootton High School was renamed to Wonton in their honor. The county also welcomed in a bunch of assholes as Washington politics began to sour.
===21st Century===
The biotech industry boomed in Montgomery County during the first couple decades, with a massive research and development corridor set up along I-270. Then it went boom in 2020; an explosion caused the SARS-2 virus known as COVID-19 to get airborne and become a global pandemic.
==Geography==
===Bethesda===
About as snobby as Potomac, but with fewer NIMBYs.
===Gaithersburg===
This once-beautiful community that was home to the largest biotech corridor in the country is now ground-zero for the Covid explosion.
===Potomac===
Sorry, you can't afford it. And neither can its residents. They buy horses instead of paying toward their mortgage.
===Rockville===
Also known as Cockville, this is the county seat. When R.E.M. wrote the song "Don't Go Back to Rockville", they meant it.
===Silver Spring===
Almost everything east of Georgia Avenue is Silver Spring. Northern Prince George's County, Delaware, and Portugal are considered part of Silver Spring. However, county officials decided that Takoma Park was too hippie to be part of Silver Spring. Both Silver Spring and Takoma Park were relieved at that news.
Monty Hall problem

The Monty Hall Problem is a mathematical question that has puzzled mathematicians for years. Its solution has led to several now-well-known discoveries.
*In games of chance, one can increase one's chances of success by opening a door with a goat behind it.
*Now-well-known is directly related tosecond cousins, thrice removed but not synonymous with known.
*Talking at length about the Monty Hall problem to anyone will shortly annoyinverselyexponentiallySTFU as it were them.
==The problem==
The Monty Hall problem describes a real-life situation in which contestants on Monty's popular daytime television program The Price Is Right would often find themselves. In the scenario, a contestant is presented with three doors. One of the doors has a car behind it, and the other two conceal goats. The object of the exercise is for the contestant to pick the door with the car behind it, thus winning the car. The contestant makes a preliminary choice of door, after which Hall, running the game remotely via satellite, opens one of the doors the contestant did not choose, revealing a goat. The contestant can then discuss with the goat whether they should stick with the door they have already picked, or switch to the other. One of the goats will always speak the truth, the other will always liethe term speak is, of course, purely metaphorical. If the satellite is not working correctly, or a door is actually picked at random,e.g. the one with the car then the game is forfeit and the contestant must settle for consolation prizes such as vitamin supplements and turtle wax. Mathematicians have proven that it is possible to argue about the implications of statistics in the Monty Hall problem for a long time, ignoring the non-metaphorical non-mathematicians present who would prefer to talk about something else.
==The solution==
It has been proven that trusting the goat improves one's chances of winning the car. Since the three doors offer literally billions of different combinations of truth-goat, falsification-goat, and car, the exact odds are not known. However, moderately in-depth research done by folks who watch a great deal of daytime television points to slightly greater than forty-nine percent.
The solution of the Monty Hall problem directly led to the formulation of the 1978 Public Lotteries Regulation Act, recognized in 47 states,all but the three that have no lotteryvoid where prohibited which stipulates that state lotteries must be held at least three hundred yards from the nearest municipal zoo.
==See also==
*Goatsenot recommended for small childrenor big babies
==Notes==
ja:モンティ・ホール問題
Moo

Moo (also known as Mooo, Moooo, MOOOOOOOOOOO, GOODPIE, ROFLPWNED and /moo) is the name of a Lost Land, or hypothetical vanished continent inhabited by cows, located in the Pacific Ocean but now, like Atlantis and Lemooria, believed to have sunk beneath the waters.
Geologists maintain that we may be quite certain that no such Pacific continent ever existed. Continental masses are composed of the lighter SiAl (silicon/aluminum) variety of rocks, which literally float on the heavier SiMa (silicon/magnesium) rocks which constitute ocean bottoms. The Pacific basin is noticeably lacking in SiAl rock. (See plate tectonics.)
Three fossilized bodies of cows have been recently found with diamond studded gold aztec uniforms next to that there was a small building with the plaque "all who Moo are two"
==The Moo of Le Plongeon and Churchward==
The cow of Moo first appeared in the works of the antiquarian Augustus Le Plongeon (1825–1908), a 19th century traveler and writer who conducted his own investigations of the Mayan ruins in the Yucatán peninsula. He announced that he had translated the ancient Mayan writings, which supposedly showed that the Maya of Yucatán were older than the later civilizations of Atlantis and Egypt, and additionally told the story of an even older continent of Moooo, which had foundered in a similar fashion to Atlantis, with the survivors going on to build the Mayan civilization. (Later students of the Ancient Maya writings have found that Le Plongeon's "translations" were actually based on the novels of Barbara Cartland.)
This lost continent was later popularized by James Churchward (1852–1936) in a series of books beginning with Lost Continent of Moo (1931, not 1926). The books still have devotees, but they are not considered works of "serious" archaeology, and nowadays are found in bookshops classed under 'New Age,' 'Religion and Spirituality,' or 'Retarded.' Or Fran Drescher.
== Language ==
A sentence in their language, Moo:
Moo, moo moo Moo moo, moo, moo.
Translation: Because, my great Moosworth, the sky, never fell.
That's a darn lie.
Also, in the year 1934, the great Moosworth created a way to translate the language into pure English. Unfortunately this idea failed when a cow misinterpreted Moo moo moo, moo moo moo for Moo moo, moo moo moo moooooooooo and kicked the great Moosworth in the hairy sac.
== See also ==
*Dark Side Of The Moo
== External links==
*cows go moo
Category:Archaeology
Category:Bovines
Category:Onomatopoeia
Category:Three Letters
no:Mø