Dark Emergency at the Somber Hospital

thumb|right|250px|Somber Hospital. With a dark emergency.
Dark Emergency at the Somber Hospital was a groundbreaking TV series aired in the USA during autumn 2008. It ran only for eight weeks because of its unprecedented success - the actors, writers and producer just retired. The series was a totally normal hospital-courtroom-police station drama, with one slight twist: the hero of the series, Morris O'Malley, was an ordinary ambulance driver. The mood of the series was rather more realistic than that of any comparable series, due to meticulous study the producing team went through before even writing the first episode. The producer of the series even spent a couple of months in the emergency ward of St. Jones's Hospital in Mainville, Colorado, during the autumn of 2006.
==Principal characters==
thumb|right|250px|I'm in charge here. Nobody gets operated without my say-so.
thumb|right|250px|The comic relief character. Obviously not in the same series.
O'Malley. Age approximately 35, appears to have seen the world a bit. Single, handsome. In the first episode, he flies in from Cleveland, trying to escape a past he won't speak about. This gives him a mysterious aura which is played out through the entire series. Apparently his experiences earlier in life have given him wisdom and a sort of special ability to see through people's motives in an almost uncanny way. He is always helpful and has a great sense of humour. He is also a bit aloof around women, possibly because of a recent traumatic event.
Miss Geekny. Age: between 25 and 30. Single, pretty in an earthy way. Lives alone, has recently immigrated from Poland where her parents live. Tries to get a romance going with O'Malley, starting by the end of the first episode, where O'Malley saves her life.
Cronker. Age approximately 40. O'Malley's sidekick who befriends him right at the end of their first emergency call. Wise but somewhat slow. Responds graciously to insults; this is seen frequently during the series. The viewer cannot help but feel sympathy toward this slightly pitiful yet wise character.
Dude Connery, head surgeon of the hospital. Age: 55. Divorced, apparently sees some women now and then. Sour, doesn't like O'Malley and is always trying to denounce his attempts at solving the crimes. Has a soft side which he doesn't show often.
==Typical plot characteristics==
In almost each of the five episodes, there is a crime scene in the initial shot. Most often there is blood and some wrecked car to rise the viewers' expectations, and sometimes also signs of a recent explosion. The first act invariably starts with the ambulance slowly pushing through the police cordon and the seething crowd of the inanely curious. The ambulance driver, Morris O'Malley - and his sidekick Cronker - step out of the vehicle, Cronker often lifting his sagging trousers a bit. O'Malley then utters a piece of profound compassionate wisdom, and the pair sets out saving the victims wherever possible. 
From that point on, the main plot always revolves around the suggested crime. The police captain of the area - Thomas Hard - appears intelligent enough to solve the crimes by himself, but there is always some missing clue which O'Malley provides near the end. There usually is a hint to the clue in the initial scene. In some episodes there is a chase by the end, sometimes the criminal is caught unawares; in these instances they are an insider. O'Malley's sidekick, Cronker, often tries to be witty in the end, almost always failing and thereby providing a lighter end note.
As sub-plots there are several love stories and attempted romances, and also a few love-hate-relationships between some of the less important characters. The main surgeon of the hospital, Dude Connery, also dislikes O'Malley from the very start. This is used to make O'Malley appear more sympathetic to the viewer.
==Samples of episode five==
We now give samples of Episode five of Dark Emergency in the Somber Hospital. Even without having seen the series, just by reading the script, you will immediately understand what sets this series above all the similar ones in television history.
===Act Three===
Busy hospital emergency ward. Nurses, doctors, patients in wheelchairs, phones ringing. Receptionists working at top speed to keep everything under control. An alcoholic gets a psychotic reaction and has to be manhandled by two strong male nurses. He gets a shot of tranquillizer and calms down. At this point, O'Malley and Cronker bust through the door, with a patient on a stretcher.
:O'Malley: Steady now - let's push him there by the wall where it's a bit calmer... Suzy! Could you please phone doctor Lambert and let him know we have an important case in our hands. I believe he's to testify in the Calamari case next tuesday - we don't want to lose him!
:Suzy: All right! Sarah, please - could you get me an internal line -
At this point Dude Connery busts in through the other door. He has an important air about him, as usual.
:Connery: What's going on?
:Suzy: Sir, O'Malley just asked me to -
:Connery: Oh, O'Malley is running the hospital now, is that it? O'Malley! I thought I told you to stick to driving the ambulance! 
:O'Malley: But - sir - this patient has to testify -
:Connery: I don't care if he has to give a speech at the Oscar Gala! No patient is more important than the next! There are others just as deserving of quick help!
:O'Malley: But - sir - 
Captain Thomas Hard busts in through a third door.
:Hard: What's going on here? O'Malley - is the patient getting operated on?
:O'Malley: Sir -
:Connery: Listen, Hard, and you too, O'Malley! I'm the one who runs this hospital! ME and nobody else. When I say this patient gets operated on, it happens. Not before. You cannot go jumping the line of command or there will be total anarchy in no time! Keep this in mind and we will proceed smoothly!
:Hard: Now YOU listen, Mr. Connery! If you want to stay the head of this hospital, you will have this here patient operated on right now. I take it I will not need to repeat myself. I happen to have the Mayor's orders with me. Would you care to have a look?
:Suzy: He seems to be in pain - quick, move him into the operating theatre before he's in more pain!!
:Connery: Listen, Suzy -
:Hard: I'm warning you, Connery.
:Connery: All right. Have it your way. But I have warned you.
At this, O'Malley winks at Cronker who takes the hint without a word. The two of them push the important patient through a fourth door. Suzy trails close behind, carrying IV equipment and other paraphernalia.
===Act Four===
Lunch room for personnel. O'Malley, Cronker, and Miss Geekny.
:O'Malley: That was a tight spot. What do you think, Cronker, can they still save him?
:Cronker: I don't know. But don't worry over it - we did our best. If he dies he dies. 
:O'Malley: I know. And yet - and yet...
:Miss Geekny: Hey - I could check their progress on my laptop!
:O'Malley: With a modem? Say, that's a brilliant idea! But - do we have an inlet here?
:Miss Geekny (purring): Don't worry, Morris. I know a trick or two.
Cronker winks at O'Malley who looks slightly embarrassed. Miss Geekny goes on to set up her equipment.
:O'Malley: Do you see anything yet?
:Miss Geekny: The database says they are operating on his kidneys, which were damaged in the collision... it's sort of hazy.
:O'Malley: I'll bet Connery is behind this!
At this point, Dude Connery busts into the room, looking outraged.
:Connery: What's going on here? Who gave you permission to use the modem inlet in the lunch room?
:Miss Geekny (smiling): Sir - I happen to know the rule. It is a personnel inlet, used as anyone with a laptop sees fit, as long as the usage conforms with statute 18 A and is directly connected to hospital activity. No offense, Sir, but we are within our rights here. 
:Cronker (munching a cheese roll): Also, having lunch. (He swallows) The rules also state we are entitled to a lunch hour without interference from our superiors. Sir.
:Connery (shaking a fist at Cronker): Have it your way - but I'm not through with you yet! 
Connery leaves, slamming the door behind him.
:O'Malley: Cronker - is there really such a rule?
:Cronker (still munching the roll): I have no idea. But neither has he!
They all laugh at this, their worry over the patient momentarily forgotten. Then they grow serious again, and Miss Geekny concentrates on the screen. Fade out.
===Act five===
Dressing room. O'Malley, Cronker. Shift apparently over.
:O'Malley: Dood 2 bad he die. Did u take his wallet dawg?
:Cronker: No he dint have 1.
:O'Malley: dats cuz i took it already lol
:Cronker: Man u rock! hi 5
Suzy busts in the room, going bawwwww coz it was her bf
:O'Malley: STFU bish we tried 2 save him
:Cronker: lol he got shot
:O'Malley: dam nigga an hero'd
:Suzy: NO U - I loved his 3===D
:Cronker: lol bish mines bigger
:Suzy: OMFG u wanna fmbo?
:Cronker: lol ure a slut and so was you're bf
Connery busts in 2, all important and stuff, flashing his dick
:Connery: u2, u gonna work 2day?
:Cronker: no u work gtfo
:Connery: wtf? STFU GTW
:O'Malley: No fair dood we tryna save dis dood hear
:Connery: did he die?
:O'Malley: LOL YES
	
A Lawyer, John Macchiavelli, busts into the dressing room, flashing his dick at the others
:Macchiavelli: Connery m8 ure under arrests dood. U let patient die m8 u in troublz.
:Connery: No fair dood where you're warrant?
:O'Malley: Yah man warrantz!!?!! 
:Cronker: No arest without warrantz m8 yah.
:Macchiavelli: I just shown you, wanna see again? 
Macchiavelli flashes them a second time
:Connery: Dood that some bitchin' warrant. Btw 0'Malley u suck.
:O'Malley: no u
Ms Geekny busts in too, all red in the face and panting excitedly like a slut
:Ms Geekny: Docter cum quick theirs something wrong with teh patient
:Connery: LOLwhat?
:Slut: JUST THISlol!!!!!
Ms Geekny flashes tits at the others
the end. WIN
Category:American television series