Bloody Ice Land

There was a time in which I loved to play games. But now I do not, because of this event that happened only one time. It all started on a snowy winter day. I played Super Mario 3 on my 3DS. It was the best NES game which I loved with all my heart. Or at least I USED to. I played it outside in the freezing snow. I got way too cold and just went inside after awhile. Unfortunately, I had put my 3DS down before going inside. It was the hugest mistake of my life that I would forever regret...
After only 3 days of living and shit, I remembered I left a device out in the freezing snow. I ran quickly outside onto the icey, slippery ground and reached the chair without falling. Somehow the 3DS hadn't ran out out of battery. It was ice cold and I got a serious chill touching it. I went inside. The 3DS wouldn't warm up. It was a bit eerie. I decided it'd be a great idea to open my chilly device. It started up with the best NES game. But oh no, something wasn't right!
I had left off on the 6th world, Ice Land. It had the most irritating music in any game ever. But now it was even MORE irritating, with glitchy discorded notes. I felt like my ears were bursting, but I just tried to move on. But then I looked at the screen again and saw horrid horrid things.
Everything had a more reddish tint. The moving hills looked angry... no, furiously straight at me. I was starting to get super disturbed. But instead of, you know, closing the dang thing, I just pressed the A button on the airship level. More awful creepy stuff awaited me. The cut-scene before the airship showed the horrific sight of the king impaled with an ice spear.
There was a bunch of hyper realistic blood spewing from his head! It was everywhere, and it made the ice red. The scared Toad hopped up and down with a worried face. The dialogue read, "The King has been killed! Mario, please sav-"
He was suddenly interrupted by a falling ice spear. It cut him right in half! His guts flew out as the ice became red with his blood. The blood and guts look so real! They might as well have been splashed on my screen! How could an 8 bit game made in the 90's produce such an awful heart wrenching sight?! I wanted to just quit right now but I just couldn't bring myself to do it for somehow! I kept going to the level. Stuff only got even worse.
The airship was black instead of the usual brown. There were red splats all over it too. The fire that was supposed to come from the rocket engines was replace with more of those awful red ice spears. I barely hopped over them, I was so scared that Mario might get torn up too. Finally, I reached the end of the level, and went down the pipe. I was then greeted to the most horrible thing of all.
The room was much darker than usual. There were ice spears covered in even more blood. And on the floors were severed hyper realistic heads! On the far right was a hideous, grotesque sight that still haunts me to this very day...
It was the boss, the one likely behind all this terrible violence. It was Lemmy! And he was covered in blood and rolling on one of the severed heads! He glared maliciously at poor Mario. Then before I could react, he suddenly raised his wand and out came an ice spear. It went straight through Mario's head and pinned to the wall. It had taken out his real looking brains with it. The now dead plumber fell to the ground with a bloody splash. I began to bawl wildly at seeing the corpse of my favorite hero.
But my crying was cut short when the evil koopaling looked right at me. He stared with a devilish smile. I couldn't bring myself to turn away. I should have turned because just then out of nowhere, he got very very close to the screen, still with his evil grin. Now I could see bits of super high definition flesh in his red tinted teeth. It just made me even more hysterical. "Oh Lemmy, why would you do this?! WHY I ASK YOU!?" I yelled to the 3DS. After I had said this, the 3DS began screeching and vibrating violently. Out of utter shock and terror, I threw it at the ground. It turned off at the impact. I just looked at it for awhile, still sweating from the fear I just experienced.
It has been months since then and I have gotten a new 3DS, one that wasn't freezing. But I didn't get Super Mario Bros. 3 back, because I was so afraid of that one time event that transpired. Even to this day, every single night I still have awful nightmares of the Bloody Ice Land.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Mario
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Stupid is as the main character does