Misha is doing a dumb thing by taking on Jared Padalecki

Misha is doing a dumb thing by taking on Jared Padalecki is a meta post by go-diane-winchester and the source of a common copypasta in the Supernatural and Supernatural RPF fandoms. 
== Contents ==
Doll face observed the above gif and sent me her expert analysis:
I just love it that when Misha tries to get the upper hand with Jared, Jared effortlessly turns the tables and comes out on top. If Misha starts pandering to sastiel and mishalecki, he's gonna find himself as the "sub omega bitch" instead of dom alpha pretty soon.  And Jared's wide gestures, big body, booming laugh and general excitement steal the rest of his show
See, that was exactly what I was saying all along.  Misha never ever pandered to the Sastiel shippers and completely ignored the hellers and their paper boat.  He was totally doing that at Nashville.  And doll face's hypothesis is exactly like mine.  Misha doesn't just like to push destiel.  He like to push a particular narrative of destiel where he is the alpha, which is why cockles headcanon's don't make sense.  Misha is a little wimp of a man.  Anyone with their eyes working properly can see that.  He can barely top his wife, let alone Jensen Ackles. 
I think I know why he did that.  Misha is a straight man.  The thing with straight men is that, if they hypothetically see themselves in a same sex scenario, they would rather see themselves as the top because that is what they are accustomed to and comfortable with.  When Jared told the Fairmont story, Jensen made sure to add that Jared sleeps on his stomach, because that will automatically mean that he was on top.   
In the now infamous influence q and a, when the fan said that Cas and damaged and lost, Jared triumphantly danced out of his chair and did a mike drop.  Because for straight man logic, being on top is an achievement, dontchaknow.  Misha feebly choked out don't you mean when Sam was damaged and lost.  But the more physically expressive Jared won that round.  We all wiped away our tears because we indeed laughed till we cried.  I don't think Misha enjoyed that though.  That is the exact reason Misha never chose Jared.  With Jared, he will never be the alpha. 
With Jensen, he can easily be the alpha, because the one thing he has working in his favor, is Jensen's shyness.  Jensen's shyness allowed Misha to look more alpha.  In my early days of observing Jensen Ackles, I referred to him as ''Mr Touch-Me-Not''.  Sometimes I called him the virgin, because it seemed like there was a force field around him that restricted human contact.  Fans paid special heed to never touch him when they were in his midst, because they felt he might get offended.  That is the shyness that Misha used. 
Jensen has grown up and out of that shy phase for the most part.  That is why he suddenly doesn't seem to put up with Misha's antics on stage.  If Misha mentions the stupid shirts Jensen gave him, Jensen mentions the underwear he shared with Jared.  He must have spoken to TPTB because suddenly there are drastic changes being made to the script.  Changes like:
* Cas is like a brother to Dean.
* Cas and Sam are getting more storylines together.
* Cas and Sam share a child.
* Sometimes the child is saddled with Cas so the brothers can go do their own thing.
* Cas suddenly cant have any happiness or he'll die [that one is so deux ex machina for forbidding destiel that it is actually funny]
They are doing everything in their power to kill destiel, so Misha is freaking out slightly.  Without destiel, which he has overinvested in for a decade, he will be screwed unless he switches sides.  This is exactly what he did at Nashville.  Unfortunately, he is going to have come to terms with his wimpy side because he is not going to be able to fake his alphaness this time.  This time, he is trying to pair up with this.   
Jared Padalecki is a physical and sexual behemoth.  A beautiful tempest.  He is not shy.  He is not afraid to hug you with his whole body.  He is not a virgin.  He is not made of porcelain.  He can and will be rough and handsy.  And he, sure as shit, is not going to be submissive to any Misha Collins.  
Misha cant be alpha with Jared because if he takes one step towards Jared, Jared will just take two steps towards him.  Jared Padalecki is not a man to be toyed with.  Hilariously, Jared is been watching Misha for ten years.  What ploy Misha pulls, Jared will just outploy him.  And yes, I made up a word, but you get the gist, right?  Misha's heterosexual ego is going to take a massive knock.  It will match the humble pie CW has been serving him for two years now.  Still, good luck, Mr Collins.  Fair warning though.  Unlike the virginal and untouched  Jensen Ackles, Boomerang Padalecki actually answers his tweets.  So go ahead and call him your queen.  I dare you. 
== Impact ==
By December 2023, the post had amassed over 3,800 notes. The post is most notable for the unique adjectives ascribed to the trio of actors and the second to last paragraph has become a beloved copypasta in Supernatural fandom. 
Often, personality quizzes in the fandom will ask people to choose between "physical and sexual behemoth Padalecki" and "virginal and untouched Ackles".
On December 13th, 2021, jarchaeology, a Jensen Ackles research blog, posted a tabloid headline stating that Jensen Ackles refused to do sex scenes on Days of Our Lives and captioned the image: "🙏the original virginal & untouched jensen ackles 🙏"https://jarchaeology.tumblr.com/post/670478828938936320/star-magazine-may-19-1998-the-original
An ongoing poll by tumblr user youre-only-gay-once asking participants to select their favorite SPN blogger currently has "the one who wrote the "jared padalecki is a physical and sexual behemoth" post" in the lead, ahead of bloggers such as carrotfricker (the one who deactivated and gave up spn because they became catholic), nancylou444 (Wincest Nancy), and princesshamlet (the one who deactivated after writing a "diverse spn fic" that was just racist). https://www.tumblr.com/youre-only-gay-once/736194289053401088/pick-a-spnblr-blogger-the-one-who-deactivated-and
== References ==