Muffy and the Big Bad Blog/Transcript

Arthur Read: Have you ever been with someone who...
Muffy Crosswire: Wait! Wait! Slow down!  Arthur is saying, "Have you ever been with someone who..."  OK, you can keep going!
Arthur: ..someone who has to write down everything that happens?
Muffy: "Someone who has to write down everything that happens?"
Arthur: Stop!  I'm TRYING to play tennis!
Muffy: Arthur misses the shot.  Your backhand needs some work.
[ARTHUR GRUNTS]
Muffy: Arthur grunts when he serves.
Arthur: What?! No, I don't!
Muffy: Now Arthur is losing his cool.
Arthur: I am not losing my cool!  I just don't like you writing down every single thing I do!  Argh!
Muffy: Arthur, I think you would do a lot better if you pay more attention to the game.  Ohh!
Muffy: Excuse me! Excuse me! I have an announcement!  This holiday weekend, I will be going to Costa Rica!  If you want to learn more about my exciting adventures, you can visit my new blog.
Mr. Ratburn: Thank you, Muffy. I'll try to swing by. Can I bring anything?
Brain: Blog is short for weblog.  When you blog, you write your thoughts in a computer file and post them on a website for others to read.
Mr. Ratburn: Fascinating. I have to write this down.
Muffy: As I was saying, even though none of you can afford to come with me, don't feel bad - just read the Muffington Post!
Trip: Hey, hey, I'm Trip. Can I help you find something?  A USB port, peripherals, MP3s?
Mr. Ratburn: I'm looking to get a new computer.  One that can connect me to...the... internet.
Trip: They all do that. What kind of connection do you have now?
Mr. Ratburn: Er...none, actually. I do have a telephone.
Trip: A newcomer like you should start with our most...user-friendly version.  It's pricey, but well worth the expense.
Mr. Ratburn: All right, class.  Your next project will involve research on a favourite author.  Now...
Muffy: I'm back!
Arthur: How was Costa Rica?
Buster: Was it rainy?
Binky: Was it as great as you said in your blog?
Brain: How did you get to blog so much?
Muffy: Now, now. I know you have lots of questions about my trip, and I promise to answer them all later - on my blog.
Binky: Did you need to learn Costa Rican?
Muffy: Binky! They speak Spanish there. I think.  Anyway, just post your questions on my blog.  Even though I'll only have time to respond to the best ones.
Buster: "The response to my blog was overwhelming.  Many of you commented that my blog could change the face of blogging."
Arthur: Now she's blogging about...blogging?!
Mr. Ratburn: Where are those instructions?  This is it?  But there's no writing on it.  Ah, I probably have to put it in the computer.  But how do I turn the computer on without reading what's on this silver disc?  It's a paradox!
Muffy: And with the MySmartphoney, I can connect to the internet anywhere!
Francine: Cool! Can you get on the internet now?
Muffy: I've been on since I got up. In fact, I should write about this right now in my blog.
Francine: What are you writing?
Muffy: You'll just have to wait and see!
Francine: Hm.
Muffy: Hey! Where'd they go? Probably running home to read my blog.
Muffy: [GASPS] But...I was in the middle of a post!
Mr. Ratburn: You can have this...calculator back at the end of class.
[BELL RINGS]
Mr. Ratburn: This is indeed a fascinating device.  But it's now allowed in the classroom.  And you need to do other things in life besides blogging.
Muffy: That's true!  If I don't do other things, I won't have anything to blog about! Thanks!
Francine: Can we PLEASE do something else?
Muffy: Hold on! I missed a lot of post today when Mr Ratburn took my phone.
Francine: But I came over to your house to do something together!
Muffy: OK! Let's read my next post together!
Francine: I'd rather just talk to you.
Muffy: Oh, Francine. Talking is so 20th century!
Francine: [SIGHS]
Mr. Ratburn: All right. Booting up, and...Huzzah! I'm connected to the internet!  Computer: 'You have 17 new messages.'
Mr. Ratburn: My, that was fast.  "Earn money from home without doing any work"?  Now THERE'S an idea!
Muffy: So, has everyone read my blog today?
Francine, Buster and Binky: [SIGH]
Muffy: Why not? I wrote about the colours I'm thinking of for the new curtains in my room.
Buster: Muffy, your blog is getting a little...boring.
Muffy: [GASPS]
Binky: You can't just write that you had a salad for lunch.  Who wants to read that?!
Francine: A blog needs to have an angle. Something people CARE about.
Francine: Jules Verne began his career writing for Opera.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
Muffy: Francine, I found an angle, just like you said!  Are you at your computer?
Francine: Yeah, but...
Muffy: Go to my blog!  It's important!
Francine: [SIGHS]
Francine: "Your humble blogger dissed by BFF. Take the poll - Was Francine right or wrong to refuse to read her best friend's blog? Vote now!"?!  Ooh! I can't believe her!  "Dear Muffy, you have no right to take a poll about whether I should read your silly blog."
Buster: I don't think there was anything wrong with your e-mail to Muffy - No matter what the polls say.
Francine: How do you know what was in my e-mail?
Buster: Muffy posted it on her blog.
Francine: She what?!
Muffy: Francine, that fight we had was great!  It generated the most traffic I've had in a week!
Francine: (That was just between you and me! Can't anything be private?!)
Muffy: That's a good topic for discussion! I'll post it!
Buster: My mom says, "Never put anything in an e-mail that you wouldn't want on the front page of a newspaper."
Francine: Newspaper! That's it!
Brain: Taking the Frensky Star online makes good business sense.  All set - the online edition is up and running.
Francine: "It has long been the policy of the Frensky Star to speak out against injustice.  Therefore, we must condemn a new bully of the blogosphere."
Brain: Aren't you supposed to cover news?
Francine: Our motto is "the latest in Elwood City news and opinion."
Brain: But that's ALL opinion. Where's the news?
Francine: I've got it!  "Breaking news - The Frensky Star is now online!"
Muffy: "Bully of the blogosphere"?!  Ha! "Some people aren't just bad friends.  They're also copycats.  How much of a copycat do you think Francine is?  Copycat-ish, very copycat-ish or extremely copycat-ish?  Vote now!"
Francine: The nerve!  "Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse, The Muffington Post hits a new all-time low."
[PHONE BEEPS]
[COMPUTER BEEPS]
Arthur and Buster: [GASP]
Mr. Ratburn: "Dear N. Ratburn, Congratulations!  You have won a great deal to buy swamp land in Florida." Goody!  Close... No! Not more windows. Close! Close!
Arthur: Have you been following Francine and Muffy's feud on the Internet?
Buster: It's better than the time the bionic bunny battled Darth Bunny in the 7th dimension.
Arthur: Don't you feel bad that you're enjoying their fight so much?
Buster: I felt bad for enjoying Bionic Bunny's galactic exile, but that didn't stop me from watching it.
Francine: I did not. You started it.
Muffy: I was just blogging.
Francine: You wrote that I wasn't your best friend any more.
Muffy: You wrote that I betrayed your trust.
Francine: Well, you did!
Brain: Hey, guys! You've got to come look on the library computers.  There's a whole website devoted to Muffy and Francine's feud!
Both Francine and Muffy: What?
Brain: "And the funniest part is they're both doing the same thing they're accusing the other one of." Signed, Mr Chatterblog.
Muffy: He has no right to say those things about us.
Francine: Who is this Mr Chatterblog anyway?
Binky: So, do you like my blog?
Francine: You?
Muffy: You?
Binky: Hey, I call them as I see them. I already got 112 hits.
Muffy: We don't need to take this, do we, Francine?
Francine: No, we don't.  From now on, if I insult you it's going to be in private.
Muffy: Ditto!
Arthur: "Frensky Star and Muffington Post announce merger."
Muffy: That's right! We're pooling our resources.
Francine: And we're starting a new advice column called ‘She Said, She Said’.
Muffy: You send in your problem and get two opinions about what to do.
Mr. Ratburn: Muffy! You were completely ahead of the curve on this internet thing.  My new Boysenberry allows me to post from just about anywhere.
Francine: You're writing a blog, Mr Ratburn?
Mr. Ratburn: It's called The Rat's Nest. It's mainly devoted to correcting common solecisms and grammatical errors.  You should post your comments.
Francine: Er...maybe later, Mr Ratburn.
Muffy: Want to go to the park?
Francine: I thought you'd never ask.
Mr. Ratburn: There are also some delightful puns on my blog.  And word problems and photos from my trip to Reykjavik.
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