nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
My Dick Is Haunted 8 - Finale

My last update was so long ago that none of you remember what happened. Plus there were like 8 fucking parts or something. Coincidentally, right after the end of the last part I mysteriously got amnesia.
There I was, standing in front of a girl I'd never seen before, naked, dick in my hand. There was a mysterious, sticky white substance all over her face. I thought maybe it was mayonnaise, so I tasted a little bit of it. It wasn't mayonnaise. Shit was gross.
The woman screamed.
"YOU DIDN'T PISS ON ME! THAT MEANS... YOU'RE A G-G-G-GHOST!!!!
Ruh roh.
"R.A.! COME! I SUMMON THEE!"
The R.A. burst through the door. He was dressed in the most beautiful coat of armor I had ever seen. It shined like the sun on a really sunny day.
Also there was a bald guy with him.
"FEAR NOT, SHELLY!" spoke the R.A. "I HAVE HEARD YOUR CRIES FOR HELP! I KNOW THE NAKED MAN YOU ARE WITH IS NONE OTHER THAN A G-G-G-GHOST!!!!!!! BUT I HAVE BROUGHT YOUR SAVIOR. HE IS A DESTROYER OF GHOSTS."
"Who is this Son of a Shepherd who stands beside you?" asked Shelly.
"He is a destroyer of ghosts. He is known as The Ghost Face Killer. He comes from an ancient tribe of bald men who are neither alive nor dead. They are known as the Wu Tang Clan. And the stories of old say Wu Tang Clan is not to be trifled with."
Shelly's curiosity was piqued. "How do you slay ghosts, you man whose skin is like the darkest night?"
"I KILL EM WITH THE RHYMES I SPIT"
"I do not understand what you mean-"
"SHUT UP BITCH LEMME DO MY THANG. TIME TO ICE THIS GHOST-ASS MUHKUCKA"
I was more confused than a pigeon doing the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle. I was also hella spooked.
The man of the night began to speak an evil incantation that I assumed was meant to ward off evil spirits.
"I SLAY DEM GHOSTS LIKE I SLAY MCs"
"AIN'T NO MOTHERFUCKER BE AS REAL AS ME"
"I'M SLAYIN' DEM GHOSTS WITH THE SHIT THAT I SPIT"
"MAKIN' HIT AFTER HIT - FUCKERS KNOW I'M LEGIT"
"NOW BE GONE, SPOOKY BITCH- I'M SO FUCKIN' RICH"
"I WEAR GUCCI, YOU WEAR ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH!"
A ghostly choir applauded his incantation.
Yet I did not die. The night man was surprised.
"MOTHERFUCEKR WHY YOU AIN'T DEAD I SPIT DAT INCANTATION OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD AND I'M ALWAYS MAKIN BREAD, IF YO ASS WEREN'T A GHOST I'D FILL YOU UP WITH LEAD"
Then something happened.
All of a sudden, I became one with the greatest incantation spitter of all time - Shaggy 2 Dope from ICP. I spoke his words.
"BITCH YOU DON'T KILL GHOSTS. I KILL GHOST KILLAS"
"HATERS HATE MY INCANTATIONS CUZ MY SKIN IS VANILLA"
"BUT I'M ONE WITH THIS GHOST - AND NOW YOUR ASS IS TOAST"
"TIME FOR YOU TO DIE - YOU'RE A CHICKEN I WILL ROAST."
The Ghost Face Killer vanished.
I had defeated the one they said could never be defeated.
I don't remember anything before I didn't piss on Shelly's face when I was supposed to, but there is one thing I now know.
I am The Undefeated. I am The Unstoppable. And I had some kind of freaky Vulcan mind meld with Shaggy 2 Dope.
And I am Ghost King.
Fin
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:Unnecessary Sequels
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
My Dog

Ok well, I always thought my dog was weird. First off he always wanted to sleep in my bed, second off he always wanted ME to make him dinner. First off, if you have hands, you can make your own food. I always told him "dogs like you on the streets make your meals" if a dog is on the streets, how do you think it's alive? It makes its own dinner. So anyhow, everything was fine until I noticed my dog wasn't a dog. I always wondered why his skin was so saggy. You know why? It's because he was a human. wtf I slowly thought. So this old man was in this dog costume, and lived with me for two years, and made me make his dinner. Well ok, sleep in my bed, but if you're a human, DO NOT ask me to make dinner. So anyways, I can't look him in the eye anymore. What dishonesty. I mean really, what a pig.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Animulz
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
My Dog Ames

My name is Chloe Hopkins.
My parents used to live in Ohio. I guess my parents thought moving somewhere else would be better. My dad lost his job back in Ohio. My mom was worried that we wouldn't have anymore money. But thankfully my dad found a job in Kentucky. We packed our things from our house and went to our new home. As we got to our new home I felt strange. Something about the house looked creepy. My parents packed our things inside the house. I heard footsteps on the second floor. My parents were on the same floor as me. So I didn't know who was on the other floor. I went upstairs to see who was up there. What I found was a stray dog. It was a Yorkshire Terrier. It was a female. I took the dog downstairs. I asked my parents if I can keep the dog. I was afraid that they were going to say no. But surprisingly they said yes. I named the dog Ames. I found an old collar and I put it around Ames' neck. Ames went to the living room where they were placing the couch. The workers placed my bed in my new bedroom. I placed my nightstand by my bed. Ames came running in my room. I petted Ames on her back. Ames was yawning. But I noticed something weird about her. When her teeth was shown, there was blood on her teeth. I felt scared inside. A painter came inside to paint my walls pink. Ames ran out of my room. There was something strange about her. It became night and I got on my bed. Ames came up on my bed. There was no blood on her teeth. Ames went to sleep right beside me. I fell asleep too. Ames somehow woke up at midnight. She ran out of my room. I decided to follow her. Ames went out the back door that dad forgot to lock. She went out the door and onto some trail. I didn't follow Ames onto the trail. It was too dark for me to see. I went back inside and locked the back door. I went back to my room and slept.
A few years later my family moved back to Ohio. My dad was able to get his job back there. I was grown up and I graduated high school. I decided to visit my old house in Kentucky. When I got there, it was not there anymore. I thought a fire had burned it down. I found the trail that Ames went on when I was a kid. I've always wondered what happened to Ames. I went on the trail that Ames went on. At the end of the trail was a hidden graveyard. Most of the graves belonged to children. But at the back of the cemetery was the skeleton of Ames. I was sad that Ames was dead. That's why she didn't come back that night. But I never could figure how she got blood on her teeth that day.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Animulz
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
My Dog Is a Serial Killer

It was a relatively normal day. Tired, I went to my room and saw my dog smiling at me, which I thought was weird. I went into my room and saw at least a pile dead dogs all over the floor and several on my bed, too. At this point, I was scared of my dog. She ran outside and got hit by a car. At least, it was what the driver thought. Suddenly, my dog jumped up and started mauling him.
My dog ran into the neighbor's house and mauled everyone inside. Animal control couldn't get close enough to her to restrain her. Two men tried, but they were mauled too. Several days later, my dog had mauled everyone in my local town and the surrounding area, about 2,000 people and countless animals. I had moved to protect myself.
I though I was safe until my dog showed up with an army of dogs, about 20,000 strong. My dog and her army continued mauling people and recruited their dogs (if they owned any) to join them. At this point, my dog had killed everybody within a 10-mile radius. It got so bad that the area my dog ruled had to be closed off to humans. It's now known as Dog County, and it gets support just like any other county would. So take another look at your dog.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Animulz
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
My Dream

It was a normal day. I'd get up, go to school, get home, and mess around on the internet. It was the night, that was abnormal. You see, this man invited me out. We went to a cafe, had coffee, and I invited him home, since we had a lot in common, thinking we could be great friends. I can't remember the rest. All I remember was being in my bed. I fell asleep.
In my dream, I was in this abandoned building, like one you'd see in an apocalyptic movie. I explored a bit, and came upon a room. It was quite small, with no windows or doors. The only way in and out was the hole in the wall, that I just crawled through. Standing there, was a man. He was wearing all black, and had a hat on. He then pointed to a corner, in which there was an object. I walked over, eyeing the man, and picked it up. I quickly shoved it in my pocket, and I woke up.
But, I wasn't in my room. I was in the room in my dreams. I reached for my pocket, and, there was the object inside! I then noticed what it was. It was a wallet, inside there was around $1000 and a note. The note read: "Congratulations! You have been chosen! Good Luck!" I turned it over, and there were more words. "If you want to make it out of here, follow these instructions carefully. I have given you $1000 Dollars, no matter what, DO NOT spend it! If you do, you fail. Now, your job. Find someone, doesn't matter where or when, just do it. Now, do exactly this: invite them somewhere, a cafe, the park, hell even your home! Since they are a stranger, they're likely to say no. But if they say yes, that's the sign, they are chosen. When they come, you must immediately kill them. No mercy.
Do not let them utter a single word. Now, you will fall asleep. You will then dream. You will be standing in a familiar room, and you must place the wallet I gave you, along with the note and money, in a corner. The one you killed will then walk inside the room, and you must say nothing, only point to the wallet on the ground. After he picks it up, he will disappear into another room. You are now free. There will be a sledge hammer by the wall. Take it, and slam it against the wall. The wall will crack open, revealing a room, with golden walls and floors, and others will be there. You have fulfilled your duty as a human. You may now rest forever in this place, heaven."
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Dreams
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Rituwel
Category:Old Shit
My Dream from 12 November 2019

My Dream i will tell about is real. My dream was where i was in new school with my friend. teacher said that we can go play on our playground, i played with my friends, it was fun room, of playing i woke up of nothing.
I got back to my dream, but my dream got really worse and began to be nightmare. i saw blood in room. maggie, kate and others were dead. simon was not dead, he was crying. and i saw that Enderman from Minecraft was attacking us! teacher was dead too. i wanted to get of this. but no, i was sleeping hard Enderman then attacked simon. i survived this... enderman was gone and it said on wall 
"Its Over. You Can be happy, you hated school"
My messed up Dream was over after reading this... but i didnt have therapy, i didnt tell mom.
also i even DONT Need therapy, i ended having nothing!
Now from this day, i torture Endermans in Minecraft.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Dreams
Category:Minecrap
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
My Encounter with Herobrine

Ah, yes. I remember my encounter with HeroBrine. I had accidently burned down my house, killed my dogs, and gotten lost in the forest. I didn't feel like trying to rebuild my house and find new dogs and all that, so I just decided to make a new world. I spawned in my world in the middle of a forest. Weird. I usually spawn on the beach. I just ignored it. After punching a few trees and making a workbench. I made a wooden pickaxe and went to work. I enjoy making my house out of cobblestone, even though it never holds off the Creepers. I collected about 80 cobblestones, then built a large house. By then, it was the middle of the night. I quickly got some wool from a sheep, and made a bed. I was about to fall asleep when I heard footsteps. They weren't my footsteps, becuase I wasn't walking around. I looked around my large house, but couldn't find anything that might be making the footsteps. I decided to search outside. I walked out my front door, and saw a figure. I slowly walked closer, leaving the door open. It was a Minecraft user. How could this be? I was in singeplayer! He had the default skin. He had eyes, but no pupils. Just white eyes. I walked up closer to him, weilding a sword that I had recently made. He suddenly darted off into the darkness. I chased after him, but it got so dark that I couldn't find him. I decided to go back to my house. When I got to my house, I saw the figure in my house! He had put up signs everywhere. They all said "STOP FOLLOWING ME". The figure stared at me for about 2 seconds, that darted out the door. I didn't even try chasing him this time. That's all I've ever seen of HeroBrine.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Minecrap
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
My Encounter with Jeff the Killer

I was very tired, but I just couldn't sleep. I felt a weird feeling, like I was feeling sick or something. I tried to sleep, I was so tired. But I still couldn't. There was something that kept me from falling asleep. I was lying in my bed, quiet. I felt a little scared, too. I didn't know why. My head was tilted against the wall. My position felt quite uncomfortable. So I turned around and my heart almost stopped.
There, face to face against me, stood a man, or... a thing. One of my lamps was turned on so I could see the thing quite clear. It was certainly a man. It had a white face; it almost glowed in the dark. It had black hair, and its eyes were soul piercing. Its eyes were marked in black and it looked like the thing couldn't close them. But worst of all was its smile. It had a huge, terrifying and inhuman smile. Like Freaky Fred or something. I let out a little scream and the thing put its finger to its mouth and hushed me.
"Oh, I guess you weren't asleep..." it said, with a psychotic and terrifying voice. "Don't worry... just GO TO SLEEP".
I was so scared, so terrified, so full of shock, but I was not going to give up. The thing raised a knife and jumped at me. Good for me, I was pretty good at self-defense. I took a stranglehold on the fucker and pulled him to my bed. The fucker was shocked and dropped its knife. I guess it didn't expect resistance. I punched him in the face. I punched him again, and again and again, until he passed out. It was blood on my bed and I was mad. I went downstairs, grabbed my phone and called the police. Then I went back to my room and saw... the thing wasn't in my bed anymore. I though "SHIT! Where is he now?!" But then I saw he was standing in my window. It spoke for a final time, with that voice.
"I didn't expect you to be such a fighter. Good job. You deserve to live... You survived Jeff The Killer... goodbye".
Jeff then jumped down and escaped. When the police arrived I told them what had happened. Only thing I didn't tell them was what he said when he left. No, it was not important for them...
I deserved to live, ha-ha... I DESERVED TO LIVE. Jeff thought I deserved to live. I feel proud. I'm lying in my bed now, writing this. And you know what? Jeff inspires me. I understand him now. He kills for living. He... fascinates me. And you know what? I want to be like him. I feel this feeling. I need to kill someone. I HAVE TO. To see their blood... oh I want it now. Sweet dreams... someday I might just stand next to your bed tonight. And it will be time for you... to go to sleep.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Old Shit
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
My Encounter with Super Mario

Super Mario. If he didn't came to life, I would kill myself. But I tell you a story that I almost got KILLED by him. This was a REAL experience for me.
My 58-year old grandmother bought a Wii for me. I was so excited after all these years after playing my dad's PSP and my brother's DS, I finally have my own console since my NES. I plugged it into my TV and turned it on. My grandmother bought two Wii Remotes (with Nunchuks), one for me and one for my brother(or I could pick my random relative while my bro wasn't around). I got started and found out that someone had downloaded Super Mario Bros. I'm not kidding. Since I am a HUGE Mario fan, I started it. The original screen came up, I was so excited I can finally play my favorite game on my Wii.
As the music played, Mario didn't move. I pressed right really hard, and still Mario wouldn't move, so I tried to reset the game. An error message popped up, saying "Don't reset it. Go back into the game. You'll find something." What the? I didn't know what to expect. I went to back and I could see Mario staring at me. He went to the screen and pulled me into the game. I screamed and yelled for help, but everyone was away for vacation. I was sucked into the game by Mario's beast-like hands. I looked everywhere for something, and all I saw was Mario, trying to chase me. I ran as fast as I could to get away. I picked up a Mushroom and jumped over a Koopa. I kicked his shell and Mario kicked it right back at me. He then picked up a Starman.
I still ran and ran to this endless 1-1 level. But when I saw a cliff, I had to make a choice: Mario or pit? Lucky me, there were brick blocks on top of me, so I jumped on it. Mario acted very smart and followed me to the top, then I could see a flagpole at the end. "YES", I shouted and jumped on the flagpole.Mario then was killed by that same pit. I was thrown back in my room, thrown COMPLETELY to the bed. The Wii had a message saying, "Thank you for killing that dick Mario." I turned off the Wii and didn't play it for a MONTH. After that month, I had 5 Wii tapes (New Super Mario Bros Wii, Brawl, Wii Sports, Mario Party 8 & Super Mario Galaxy).
After I turned on my Wii, Super Mario Bros. wasn't there anymore. Thank goodness for that. 
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Mario
Category:TRUE STORY
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Read by HoodoHoodlum
My Erect Penis Keeps Violently Killing People

Hello everybody, my name is David. I don't know if you've heard but my erect penis keeps violently killing people.
This all began one day when I was making love to my then living wife, Barbara.
"Ooh, Barbara. This is nice isn't it?" I said.
"No, David, please stop. You're hurting me!" Said Barbara, my wife.
I was shocked. I tried to retreat, but could not. Something with immense power was holding on inside. Barbara, my wife, started to scream. I pulled and pulled. Eventually a terrifying tearing sound emanated from below and we were separated.
I looked down at my genitalia to see a large bulbous thing covered in small sharp spikes slowly recede back into my penis hole (I don't know the scientific term for it). My penis was soaked in blood red blood.
"Fuck me, Barbara. What was that all about?" I asked my wife, but when I looked to her, I noticed she was dead. Probably because of what had happened.
The next day I went to the doctor's to try and get a better understanding of the changes my body was going through.
"So, Doctor, what do you think is wrong with me here?"
"It sounds to me like you have a severe case of sticky willy. Where the penis becomes possessed by an evil variant of the plant Galium aparine or sticky willy."
"Fuck me, Doctor. What can I do about that?"
"Nothing. There's nothing that can be done. Although it is entirely harmless so long as you don't have sex with anyone. When you become aroused the evil sticky willy gets agitated and lusts for blood."
"But... Doctor. I enjoy having sex and... my wife's just recently passed away. Are you saying...?"
"Nooooooooo sex."
I left the doctor's office dejected and horny. Of course, now everyone I saw looked ten times more hot than usual because they were all forbidden. But I couldn't have sex with anyone because my evil sticky willy penis would become attached inside of them and rip out their innards. If I performed the act of sex knowingly I would be committing murder, which would no doubt get me in some kind of trouble.
In an attempt to kill two birds with one stone I became a vigilante sex pest, by which I mean that I tracked down people who, in my eyes, not the eyes of the law, deserved to die. I got to know them, I took them to dinner and eventually I had sex with them, thus satisfying my sexual urges to have sex and my vigilante urges to punish those I, and maybe some other people online, felt deserved it.
Let this be a lesson to others though. Don't play around with the evil sticky willy you see here and there. Just use the non-evil stuff.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
My Experience with a Skeleton

It was a crisp midnight, the kind where the wind blows extra hard. I was alone in the basement playing with a Rubik's cube, while my iguana was in the kitchen listening to metal music. Beside me was an old hat, untouched to the point where it was decaying. I kept looking at the hat, intrigued. "I don't think I should touch it.." I said to myself. I stared at it for a long time to the point I realized I mangled the Rubik's cube. I muttered some nonsense as I put down the Rubik's cube, picked up that old hat, and walked up the stairs.
And then a skeleton popped out.
The skeleton saw the hat and looked very upset. "That's my hat," the skeleton said. "Would you like it back?" I asked him. "Yes," he said, "but first, I challenge you to a du-el!" He drew a sword! "WHAT THE--" I screamed. My thoughts were cut short by the skeleton tossing his sword at my iguana's cage, like a dartboard! It hit my iguana in the right nostril, as blood began pouring out of it!!! "THAT DOES IT!" I screamed again, "YOU ASKED FOR IT!!" 
I grabbed an old pencil from the desk I was standing next to. I charged at the skeleton, and poked out its eye with it! It crumbled into a pile of bones instantaneously. That's when I realized, my iguana was still alive.
"What? How?" I asked myself. I looked around, when I saw that the hat disappeared too. "What is happeniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing?" I scream-asked. Then I realized that that hat might've been connected to the skeleton in some weird way, but I couldn't tell you.
So, that was what happened that night. I still don't know if it happened or not... 
Category:Trollpasta 
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta