Silent Hill Shattered Anuses

This is a sequel to Silent Hill 2: Assless Dreams.
== Act One ==
One Day I got lots of nostalgia, so I went to a garage sale to look for video games. When I got to the garage sale there was an old man at the house, I went to him and asked if he had any video games for the N64. The old man replied "No I sold it to that guy " He pointed at a young man holding a copy of Majora's Mask. I then asked if he had video games for any other systems. He said "Just your luck, this is the last one" I glared at it, it was a perfectly normal looking copy of Silent Hill Shattered Memories. I asked him how much he wanted for it. The old man said "You can have it for free", I was shocked, "Free?". "Yeah, it was my dead sons I don't want it" I laughed cause that was a sick deal, the game costs $50 on Amazon.
I drove home really fast because I was so excited to play the game, in my rush home I ran over a Shiba Inu, and a little girl. I pulled up to my house and rushed inside, I heard a loud crash and then a scream from outside. I was going to check what it was but I was to anxious to play the game. I took the game out of my backpack, opened the case, and put it into my Wii. It loaded up and went through the normal logos and then went to the intro. Instead of When You're Gone the intro song was Theme of Laura, which was weird. What a stupid think to hack into a game, of all the things to change you change opening theme music........ 
I continued on playing still irked at the stupidity of the hack, but something was different the game was completely different, characters didn't look the same. Harry never had blond hair, and there sure as hell wasn't any guns in the game. I went to the home menu to of my Wii only to see that in my excitement I put in Resident Evil 4...... I took it out and went to grab the case for Shattered Memories, but it looked different, instead of Shattered Memories the case said Silent Hill: Shattered Anuses...
== Act Two ==
I glared at the case, when I got it the cover art was normal, but now it changed like I walked in to some fucked up world where they change every game title to something ass / butt sex related to try to make it funny, man anyone who would do that has no life... But (haha) anyways I took the game out and started playing it. The game started, the Sega logo appeared and a distorted jingle played and everything was normal. I then smelt an odd smell perforating my house, it smelled like skunk. I passed out from the strong smell and woke up tied to a chair in a black room with only a light dangling above me.
I looked up to hear the dragging of a metal object, it was slow and rhytmic pumping into my ear holes. I looked up to see Pyramid Head, which is fucking dumb he was meant to represent James' guilt for killing his wife. Why the fuck is he hear with me, I haven't ever killed anybody. Pyramid Head came close and stared at me with his blank metal face, his eyes said fuck me and so did his body. He removed his robe and showed off his giant triangle shaped dong.
I watched as he slowly jerked his Pyramid cock infront of me. Semen flew everywhere in the room, he slowly walked away, leaving me in the semen covered room. The semen made the room brighter, from outside I heard gunshots, and then the door burst open. A male figure walked into the door gun raised, he spoke "My name is Alex Shepherd, come with me" He untied me from the chair and gave me a gun. We both ran out of the room, and outside. I stopped in awe, I was in Silent Hill all the landmarks were there. We walked out into the streets, I asked him what the hell is going on. Alex said he was looking for his brother. "Funny, I'm looking for my daughter Cheryl" I replied.
== Act Three ==
We continued until reached a hospital, we heard two children playing in the courtyard. We went to check it out and saw Josh and Cheryl playing together in a sandbox. We called out to them, they noticed us and came to us, I was shocked that they didn't follow that cliche of kids running away when called to in horror games. Behind us I heard a gate creak, a man walked into the courtyard accompanied by a woman. They asked if we had seen a little girl around here. I said "Well there is this little girl, but she's my daughter so she can't be the one you are looking for". " No I am looking for a little blonde girl, my name is James Sunderland by the way" said the man "And my name is Mary" said the woman. "Maybe this will help, she left to take our dog for a walk a few hours ago and we can't find her anywhere" James said. At this point a horrifying thought popped into my head, what if the girl I ran over was the girl they were talking about. "What breed was the dog?" I asked. "It was a shiba inu" said James. At this point I knew I was fucked.
But I brushed it off cause it's my story and I can do whatever I want. We all left the park and continued into the dark town, as we moved along I kept seeing a strange yellow figure in the burnt out buildings. I pointed it out to James but he didnt see anything. We continued on, I still had that uneasy feeling in the back of my mind. James suggested we go to the hotel for some reason, I wasnt really paying attention. We all got into the boat and rowed across the lake, as we rowed and rowed all we could hear was the splashing of the water and what sounded like female moans and male grunting. Turns out James and Mary were having sex in the back of the boat. All of the sudden the police came and arrested James and Mary for "innapropriate behavior in front of a minor" with them gone we continued into the hotel where we saw something we couldn't believe.
As we opened the door to the hotel we saw the floors covered with blood and semen with corpses all around. In the middle of all the mess was Pyramid Head standing unrobed, his triangle shaped dong swinging in the wind like a hypnotic device. The skunk smell came back, and Alex and the kids feel asleep, but not me. I think the I built up an immunity. Suddenly a large blade pierced Pyramid Heads body, he was then cut in half. As the body slid apart I could see the yellow creature from behind the severed carcass. It began moving towards me and laughing. I shot it with my gun and he died. Then James and Mary walked out and handcuffed me. Mary said "we know you killed Laura, now you will rot in heck" They took me to jail where I got continuously diarrhea dumped by Bubba. With no hope of it ending.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Unnecessary Sequels