Tullymander

The tullymander (Monodistricti preventives) is a small flightless lizard of the fire-breathing iguanadon family. 
== Characteristics ==
The tullymander has quite a unique creature, for it is, in fact, a shapeshifter. It can change its form into anything of any size, consuming the mass of the atoms around it when enlarging, and compressing its own cells for shrinking. Like a humunculus, or.. a genie... or... some sort of... rubber.. Mr. Incredible... .. kind of thing. However, with such an ability, one would assume the world would be running amok with transforming behemoths. Unfortunately for the tullymander, it can only engage in shapeshifting when doing so would prevent a rival "gerrymander" from entering its territory. Naturally, gerrymanders are nearly twice the size of tullymanders, and this shapeshifting ability serves as a defense mechanism. Scientists have been trying to tap into this dormant power to create weapons of war. Needless to say, the fact that tullymanders and gerrymanders hardly ever come into contact makes this power rather useless for the most part, but interesting nonetheless. Consequently, the term tullymandering is derived from the name of this reptile, and is used to describe the phenomenon of a failed attempt at gerrymandering.
== Distribution ==
Tullymanders can be found in Central America, and sometimes venture as far north as Texas. A variation of the native Tullymander can also be found in the Congo region of Africa, this version is known as the touleymander (Monodistricti afrikaanus). Scientists have not been able to come up with an explanation of why such a creature could be found in two entirely different places such as Africa and Central America. One theory is that a tullymander of the 1400s was forced to resort to shapeshifting when a gerrymander attacked, and as a result, it transformed into a powerful dragon or monster of some sort, and happened to fly to Africa before the transformation faded. This explanation not only explains the African touleymander, but also the original Power Rangers, as scientists believe they might have just been tullymanders in disguise. Another theory suggests that tullymanders originated in Africa, and were brought westward by white people who had too much time on their hands. Like the gerrymander, both the tullymander and the touleymander are extremely gregarious, often clustering themselves in tangled form-fitting herds for their own protection. This results in some accidental transforming, when the DNA of nearby tullymanders is too close to that of a gerrymander. Using this technology, scientists sprayed with Gerrymander Perfume have tried to induce a forced shapeshifting of tullymanders, though because the tullymander reacts defensively, small amounts of Gerrymander Perfume must be applied, and such small amounts cause little more than a small change in form.
== Reproduction ==
The Tullymander has quite a unique method of reproduction. Unlike the gerrymander, which is born as a shapeless mass which later takes form as a lizard, the young of a tullymander are born as smaller, stickier versions of the adult. However, an interesting thing occurs. For the first several hours of life, tullymanders have complete access to their soon-to-be dormant transforming ability. This means, they can transform even without a gerrymander threat. It is speculated that this gives them an ample opportunity to practice their ability, so that they don't have to "learn it the hard way" for the first time when facing a gerrymander. Using this technology, it may be possible to utilize the immense power of the tullymander without the risk that Gerrymander Perfume brings. Unfortunately, no scientist to date has been able to pull off such a feat. 
	Furthermore, adult tullymanders become extremely fertile just after the moment of transformation. This means they are much more prone to give birth during the time in which they are transformed. This knowledge combined with the previous paragraph's may one day lead to weaponry with transforming abilities. Of course, the greatest weapon of all, would be a tullymander under human control. This type of weapon has been speculated as well, by introducing Gerrymander DNA into a tullymander, it would be volatile enough to transform at whim. Simply enable a mind controlling of the tullymander, and an onslaught of beatdown would ensue. Canada would surely fall in moments. This plan, Operation Tullygeddon, was proposed by US Senator Jesus Marx in 1981, though it has failed to carry through. Concept arts of Marx's "Super Tully" have been implemented into various medium, including video games and folklore.
== Boring Trivia ==
The Tullymander is the official reptile of the former Nazi empire, though they didn't mention it much. This is a result of a hilarious anecdote from Hitler's youth. Young Adolf was traveling through southern Panama on a "business trip" when he stumbled upon a tullymander. He happened to be carrying a purple tote bag at the time, said bag made of faux pas gerrymander skin. Though fake, the bag was enough to cause minor transformation from the tullymander, which transformed into a shape known to us now as the Swastika. Hitler's inspiration for the Nazi flag came from this experience, and earned the tullymander a special place in his heart.
==See Also==
*Fractal
*Gerrymander
*Tentacle porn
category:Reptiles
category:Sex
Category:Lizards