Don't Insult the Blitzball

I was playing Final Fantasy X-2. It was at that point of the game where they ask if I wanted to be involved in Blitzball. Unexpectedly, that annoying Wakka was also there. He normally isn't meant to show up in that cutscene. In fact, it was truly strange the others didn't acknowledge him. 
"I'm sure you like Blitzball, ja!"
His verbal tic always drive me up the wall. The immediate answer is no. It was satisfying to do it out of spite towards Wakka. 
Once I had control back, I walked out of that building. However, I did not know Waka was sentient this time. So, he planned on ruining my playing sessions. 
I was at Besaid, walking through the place as anyone else would. But then, the camera changed and showed Wakka floating there high above the water close to that waterfall. 
"Blitzball is the pride of my team. I am afraid you will have a far rougher time than anyone who played Blitzball for the first time."
I pressed on the analog stick as hard as possible. He began to throw Blitzballs at Yuna! Ducking and weaving, I ran all the way into the village. Big mistake. 
Yuna was frozen at the spot; appearing in front of her was Wakka. In lighting speed, he threw a ball at her face and she instantly died. 
I screamed at the top of my lungs. HOW COULD HE?! I FORGOT TO SAVE IN A WHILE!
After making up for some lost progress in chapter 4, I accepted the mission where I had to defeat that fiend in the Thunder Plains. Just my luck, I instead came across a Malboro. Of course, it inflicts as many status effects as it can. Of course, it also had to cause everyone except for Yuna to faint. What made this Malboro truly awful was that it was working with Wakka!
His arm suddenly appeared from that thing's mouth, holding one of those balls I wish I never had to waste any more time with. I clenched my teeth as Yuna was rendered fully unconscious. 
"I'll just play some other game. Surely he wouldn't hold that big of a grudge against me for my opinion, right?" I told myself. 
How could I be so dreadfully wrong? The next game I was playing was The Wrath of Cortex. I was playing that Tornado Alley stage. It seemed all normal, until an armada of blue and white propeller bombers showed up. They absolutely blanketed the sky with those balls. 
The warplane Crash was in was absolutely wrecked. However, he survived the crash into the ground. The bad news? I now had to watch the poor dude get tossed around and flipped feet off the ground by those things. 
Speaking of Crash being thrown off his feet, I reached for the power button. With that done, I installed the CD of Sly 2 into the console. Wait...why do I even have The Wrath of Cortex? It's a poor man's version of the previous game! Now, back to the program.
I made it to the screen where Sly and his buddies were waiting at that purple clothed table. I decided to just spend time relaxing there. To my absolute horror, the table began to rise as a mountain of those blue and white balls grew in height and at the width of the base. The three were watching with absolute bewilderment. Soon enough, they were crushed alive by the rapidly growing mountain and I could hear them scream their last. 
Now I know what it feels like for a volcano to form. 
Alright, one more game I told myself. I knew I was at a point in Kingdom Hearts 2 where a cutscene would play. I had made my way into the heart of Organization 13. The dude known as Xigbar showed up, calling Sora both by his name and by the name of Roxas. He mentioned that Sora had put the organization he worked for in a tough situation.
However, it did not take me long to realize something went off the rails. Right after labeling Sora as a dud, he talked to Sora about how he ran away from Blitzball. How the only thing even did before that was insult the Blitzball team that wanted to recruit him. 
"Honestly, dude, the way you handled that couldn't even be called professional. Imagine if even the slightest bad moment happened in any other sport. You would come up with an excuse to treat those in the sports industry poorly. Or worse still, view sports as beneath you when you fall out of love with them all. No wonder Wakka seemed so disappointed with you."
Xigbar merely shook his head in disappointment for a moment. Then, he uttered some of the last words in that cutscene. 
"Oh well, as if Wakka would forgive you that soon. Here is a tip. Next time, bother to see even the slightest strong aspect of what you are going to shoot down. Even if you still don't want to play that specific sport, at least you would find something that would maintain your intrigue. Try to watch that sport at all. By the way, I've rambled on long enough. It's bed night, kiddo!"
Wakka ran up one of the walls of the platform that Sora, Donald, and Goofy were residing on. Once standing on a literal edge, he rolled the ball like a bowling ball. Then suddenly, smoke began to pour out of it; loud ticking following it.
Sora and his friends stared at it; only for it to suddenly react like a super grenade. Sora screamed as he was sent flying and the game slowed down. Soon enough, I was at that screen where the main hero is floating and only two options existed.
I covered my eyes; sobbing like crazy. I realized he was going to ruin my gamming sessions while his desires were strong. Never again would I insult that specific sport. Don't insult Blitzball or your gaming nights will go nowhere good! 
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Vidya games
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck