My Very Hyper-Realistic, Cliched, Edgy Adventure Part II: Hyper-Realistic Electric Boogaloo

Hello. I'm hyper-realistically sure you hyper-realistically know what's hyper-realistically happening here. I have hyper-realistically returned. I need no hyper-realistic introduction, but for those of you who hyper-realistically haven't read the hyper-realistic first part, Hi, I'm hyper-realistic Saul Goodman. Did you hyper-realistically know that you hyper-realistically have hyper-realistic rights? Hyper-realistic Constitution says you hyper-realistically do. 
When we last hyper-realistically left off, I had hyper-realistically died. I could hyper-realistically feel my hyper-realistic soul hyper-realistically leaving my hyper-realistic body. As my hyper-realistic soul hyper-realistically ascended to hyper-realistic heaven, I hyper-realistically saw hyper-realistic Jesus. And he hyper-realistically hit the cleanest hyper-realistic gritty I have ever hyper-realistically seen. After this, hyper-realistic Jesus hyper-realistically pulled out a hyper-realistic clipboard and hyper-realistically looked for my hyper-realistic name. Upon hyper-realistically realizing that it was hyper-realistically not my hyper-realistic time yet, hyper-realistic Jesus hyper-realistically said to me, "[Insert hyper-realistic Christian swear word here], it's not your hyper-realistic time yet, you're not hyper-realistically due for another hyper-realistic 666 hyper-realistic years, hyper-realistic management is going to hyper-realistically hear about this. Hyper-realistically return to your hyper-realistic world." 
And that is where our hyper-realistic story hyper-realistically resumes. In the hyper-realistic times hyper-realistically following these hyper-realistic events, a hyper-realistic lot has hyper-realistically happened: I have hyper-realistically become hyper-realistically addicted to hyper-realistic Hatsune Miku(I hyper-realistically recommend Newly Edgy Idols, Otome Dissection, and Senbonzakura), this hyper-realistically attractive blonde man hyper-realistically stabbed my hyper-realistic father with a hyper-realistic arrow, hyper-realistically causing me to hyper-realistically become a hyper-realistic stand user(hyper-realistic Killer Queen hyper-realistically possesses no hyper-realistic weaknesses), and I have hyper-realistically managed to hyper-realistically piece together a hyper-realistic new life in these strange, hyper-realistic circumstances. I hyper-realistically feel one should always hyper-realistically be prepared for a hyper-realistic unusual expedition(a hyper-realistic bizarre adventure if you hyper-realistically will).
As I hyper-realistically woke up one hyper-realistically fine hyper-realistic morning, I hyper-realistically went to hyper-realistically pick up my hyper-realistic newspaper. Today's hyper-realistic headline was: Hyper-Realistic 6-Armed Killer Still At Large. EVIL PATRIXXX Possibly To Blame? Read more on This Question In Our Interview With SQUIDWARXXX Himself on Page 13666! After hyper-realistically absorbing hyper-realistic sustenance into my hyper-realistic digestive system, I hyper-realistically walked to my hyper-realistic job, as a hyper-realistic intern at hyper-realistic Nickelodeon studios I and the other hyper-realistic interns had to hyper-realistically dispose of the hyper-realistically old hyper-realistic tapes. One of these hyper-realistic tapes hyper-realistically caught our hyper-realistic eye: a hyper-realistic spongebob episode hyper-realistically labeled Hyper-Realistic Red Mist in a hyper-realistic red sharpie. We hyper-realistically took the hyper-realistic tape to the hyper-realistic viewing room. I'd hyper-realistically tell you what the hyper-realistic episode was about, but it was hyper-realistically boring. All it was hyper-realistically was the hyper-realistic characters hyper-realistically killing themselves. See, hyper-realistically boring right? Anyway, after this, I hyper-realistically went home to find that it was hyper-realistically being ransacked by hyper-realistic EVIL PATRIXXX. If he hyper-realistically wanted something, he could have just hyper-realistically asked. So I began to hyper-realistically pull out my hyper-realistic shotgun, but then I remembered the 69th commandment, Thou Shalt Not Kill EVIL PATRIXXX Then suddenly, the hyper-realistic police hyper-realistically broke down my hyper-realistic door. They took EVIL PATRIXXX into custody, so I decided to defend him in a court of law. I may not be a licensed attorney but I'm forklift certified and have beaten every Ace Attorney game.
Trial: Day 1
TrickyNix: How does the accused plead?
Me: The defendant pleads innocent your honor.
Edgeworth: The prosecution is ready your honor.
TrickyNix: Let the proceedings now begin. The prosecution may call upon its first witness.
Edgeworth: Very well, the prosecution calls The Man In The Suit to the stand.
Witness Testimony
Suit: I was walking along the street, minding my own business. It was then that I witnessed it. EVIL PATRIXXX used his MIDNIGHT BLAST on a random passerby. It was then that I called this in.
CROSS-EXAMINATION
Me: OBJECTION! It is perfectly normal for the defendant to use his MIDNIGHT BLAST. He is an established trollpasta character! This is just what he does.
TrickyNix: This is a good enough argument for me. The court finds the defendant, EVIL PATRIXXX, Not Guilty
As hyper-realistic thanks for hyper-realistically winning the hyper-realistic trial for him, EVIL PATRIXXX hyper-realistically gave me a hyper-realistic CD simply hyper-realistically titled, "Sonic.EXE". So I, hyper-realistically being the hyper-realistic creepypasta dumbass I hyper-realistically am, hyper-realistically took the hyper-realistic disc home and hyper-realistically put it into my hyper-realistic computer. Upon hyper-realistically inserting the hyper-realistic disc, I hyper-realistically heard a hyper-realistically demonic voice hyper-realistically say, "Are you hyper-realistically ready to hyper-realistically play?", to which I hyper-realistically responded with, "The hyper-realistic economic and social impact of the hyper-realistic Industrial Revolution-" At this hyper-realistic point, the hyper-realistic geam strated in a hyper-realistic vesiron of a hyper-realistically stanrge vrsieon fo geren hlil zneo. I was hyper-realistically playing as Tails the hyper-realistic fox. Teh lvele was crovede in waht loked liek hyper-realistic blud adn geor. Eventually, I hyper-realistically made it to the hyper-realistic lvele and hyper-realistically encuotnerd a hyper-realistically, odd and deforedm sonic the hyper-realistic hedge trimmer, who upno hyper-realistically killing hyper-realistic Tails the hyper-realistic fucks, hyper-realistically proceeded to hyper-realistically approach the hyper-realistic screen, his hyper-realistic dark bleu hyper-realistic fur and hyper-realistic black irises coming into focus along with his hyper-realistic x-shaped scar on his hyper-realistic chest. As his hyper-realistic hand hyper-realistically began to hyper-realistically reach through my hyper-realistic computer's hyper-realistic screen, I hyper-realistically pulled ut my hyper-realistic 6-gauge shotgun and hype-realistically reduced him to his hyper-realistic base particles.
Not long after this hyper-realistic occurrence, I hyper-realistically found that I had hyper-realistically lost 21 hyper-realistic grams of hyper-realistic weight. It hyper-realistically seemed as though I had hyper-realistically lost my hyper-realistic soul. Luckily, I hyper-realistically had seventy hyper-realistic alternate accounts, so I was hyper-realistically free from any hyper-realistic worry. Now the only hyper-realistic thing to do is to hyper-realistically find the one who hyper-realistically took my hyper-realistic soul. It was time for some hyper-realistic revenge.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Unnecessary Sequels
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Overused Running Gag
Category:Loads of Characters