SCP-44943

Name: Joey 
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Joey, if caught, is to be exiled to his house and not allowed to exit. He is to have all food items re-added and he is to record videos to signify that nothing is wrong. All current attempts to apprehend Joey have failed. All individuals who have been sent to capture him have been digested. Joey is to not be approached. Do not attempt to capture him. God has abandoned you if you try. Maybe there is no God. Maybe god would not allow this to exist. He is presumed harmless if you do not contact him directly. He is to be avoided at all cost. There is to be a 1000 yard quarantine zone around him at all times. God help us all.
Description:
Joey is a "special" person. It is unknown if he has any serious, or any common neurological medical disorder (Autism, down syndrome, etc.) but it is well known that he is, off. All close instances with the subject have been noted closely. He makes most of his traction and notability off of a account on a online sharing platform known by the current alias of "Youtube." On this he is seen gorging himself with various disdainful and unhealthy edible items.
But there is more to this 'man.' We have sent in various [DATA EXPUNGED] to record any and all data of said individual. It has been noted, if the data brought back in untampered, that he has an unhealthy obsession with boxes, usually that of the composition of cardboard. Through the invasion of privacy it has been noted that he has the possession of a cardboard box with a photo of an attractive woman. Close examination of said box/photo as well as physical contact has shown it may be laden with male reproductive fluids. The photo on the box is a picture of a celebrity known as Kate Upton. The photo of Kate Upton is one of her in a bikini. The photo is not to be removed from the box as it may have something moving under it. It may be a cockroach as there are crumbs and food smudges all over the house. If you could call it that. His living conditions are absolutely one of the worse we have ever seen.
More is to be noted on his appetite. As mentioned previously, his diet includes "various disdainful and unhealthy edible items." He is seen eating tubs of Nutella and bowls of nacho cheese. His early-day meals mostly consists of sandwiches from a restaurant titled "Hardee's." Jars of what is believed to be some kind of "marshmallow whipping cream" have also been found near the exterior of the box. Rags full of what is also presumed to be full of male reproductive fluids are found to also have contained small amounts of the aforementioned cream. His bed also had copious amounts of both of those and shreds of circle shaped cardboard.
His diet has caused his body to become that of somebody who has been bloated. His weight is [REDACTED] This has caused some of the staff on hand to become convinced he is immortal. Several have turned to cults with this belief. All have since been terminated. There are several of these cults still active, and intel suggests they sacrifice their own human flesh, even amputating limbs, to put on a shrine of Joey. They have also been seen eating the flesh, sloppily. It is disgusting really. This has caused people from our research team to either leave to project or, in one case, a man, [DATA EXPUNGED], had committed suicide.
Further research on this individual will result in termination.
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