nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
A Giant Anus From the 5th Dimension Keeps Entering My Reality and Invaginating Me

Hello, everybody, my name is David. I've been having a tough time recently as occasionally an anus, a big one, from the 5th dimension keeps entering my reality and invaginating me. As you can imagine, this is undesirable.
It all started about a week ago when I went without sleep for a period of 128 hours.
"Daddy," said my daughter Janey to me, her father, "what's the longest you can stay awake for?"
"I can stay awake indefinitely, Janey. I'm your father. Omnipotent and unwavering. There is nothing I cannot do. Remember that."
"You could stay awake for 128 hours?"
"Of course I could. Easily."
"David," said my wife, Barbara, "You shouldn't be saying such things. It's one thing to joke with Janey, but that wasn't sensible."
"Don't emasculate me in front of our daughter, Barbara. I need to feel secure. I need her to feel secure."
"I'm not emasculating you, David. Good sleep is integral to your health and well-being."
"Oh, and what are you now, a doctor?"
"Yes, David. You know I'm a doctor. I've always been a doctor."
Ignoring my wife's professional opinion I continued to remain conscious and fully lucid for 128 hours. Lo and behold, I suffered no ill effects from the endeavor. In fact I felt better than ever and now no longer sleep at all.
Yet, like I mentioned earlier, the giant anus from the 5th dimension frequently enters my reality and invaginates me. In fact, here he is now.
"Hello, giant anus."
"Hello, Dave." Said the anus as it materialized in front of me in my dining room.
"Please, call me David. I prefer that."
"Hello, Dave." It said again.
The giant anus began to hover upwards in three dimensional space and then maintained its position directly above my head. Slowly the humming began and the anus descended upon me and invaginated me. It's gross. What can I say.
"Hello, Dave." Said the anus again, as it began to compress my body from head to foot in pulsatingly muscular ways.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
A Giratina Theory

If I remember correctly there was this theory that if Arceus is the God Pokémon, then Giratina's the Devil. Well, when you think about it... Giratina's Pokédex entry in Platinum mentions it being "banished for its violence". Who or what could have banished it? Probably only its "brothers" Palkia and Dialga, or more likely Arceus, the God of the Pokéverse. What's more, it lives in its own little world, a world to which we've seen at least one person dragged for his evil ways. Sound Familiar? Its being a Ghost-type connects it rather closely to death, and its entry in Diamond/Pearl mentions being found in an ancient cemetery. The evidence points to Giratina being The Grim Reaper, Satan, or both. Plus the existing role as the personification of antimatter, of course. Oh, and did I mention that you bring it back into the world of humans and normal Pokémon, from which it was banished? You enter Hell and bring its ruler out, giving it another chance to threaten the world...
Story dates back to December 22, 2010
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:THERY
Category:Pokemon
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
A Gmail From Satan

So Satan just sent me a gmail. It said "HEY U LIKE TO MAKE OUT BOI?" I said "NO" because I don't worship the devil. Then he sent me a pic of a dead girl and I was like Satan you sicko. Then he sent me a link and it was a link to a ebay page. It was a vhs of Spongebob and the description was "this is HOT WATCH IT FOR FREE." and I bought it because it was free and it said it was HOT!
It came to my house and the VHS was bloody AF. I popped it in my VHS player and hit play. The VHS started with Spongebob in his chair and he was crying. He was next to his friend Sandy and she got mauled to death. Satan came out and ripped her eyes and insides out with bloody coming out of her mouth.
Then I saw mr. krabs in a patch of hair and at the bottom of the screen there was text. "Spongebob is your average crabs" and then I saw Spongebob hanging of a noose with a play boi magazine. Then more next came on the screen it said "there's something waiting for you at your job." then I got sick and vomited all over the floor. Then I went to bed. The End by Bsawa
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:SpongeBob
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:English Class Failure
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Shortpasta
A Goofy Movie (Alternative Ending)

It was a nice autumn day and I was wondering why Disney keeps the Disney vault such a secret. I know that there is countless images of the vault but Disney makes sure to keep one vhs tape in the vault secret. My cousin (who works at Disney) told me that there is one vhs tape of a goofy movie that Disney wants nobody to know about. I asked him if he could bring the vhs of a goofy movie, He said he has a spare copy of it. I wanted to see what was so secret about one vhs tape, My cousin came in. I should say that I went to his house to talk to him. He had a vhs that looked rusty and old. There was so much dust on it. We cleaned it and put it into our vhs player. It started normal, In fact, everything was normal. Until the ending... Max attempts to grab the steering wheel. That was weird because max tells goofy where to go in the original movie. He made the car drive off a cliff. The car kept falling until it lands in water. The car got destroyed. Max was trying to swim, it looked like he was about to drown. I kept watching. He kept on going and going down the waterfall. Normally goofy would save him, goofy tried but failed really badly. Max was getting closer and closer towards the waterfall. He fell to his death. It wasn't shown that he died that it was implied that he died. Goofy was watching in terror he walked until he saw a person who was offering him a car. Goofy accepted. He drove off to his home. He got home and looked at max's old stuffed bear (yes, that name is canon). Goofy finds a spare gun and puts into his mouth and said his final words, "Goodbye, Disney" then shoots himself to death. I was shocked when goofy pulled the trigger. The credits rolled and at the end a quote came on. The quote reads: If you feel stuck, do what goofy did. -Walt Disney. I could not believe that Walt would say a thing like that. So I emailed Disney and they said that they didn't make the tape and that some hater of Disney made it. I asked my cousin if he made the tape. He wasn't there. Did he make the tape, I asked myself.
I drove off and watched the REAL version of a goofy movie. I heard a knock at my door. I looked at it and I saw a piece of paper. It said if you feel stuck, do what goofy did. I was tired of hearing that quote so I tossed it in my paper shredder. Now let me watch the real version of a goofy movie
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Suicide
Category:Read by HoodoHoodlum
Category:Featured Pastas
Category:Hall of Fame
A Guide to Vampirism

This may or not be disturbing. I am not sure what your level of decency is.
Rule 1: Human blood is delicious, and your only source of it should be a live human. I am a human myself, and I would not let you bite me.
But blood is to be taken with charisma or force, either work beautifully.
Rule 2: If you go out in the sun you will burst into flames.
Do not do this unless you wish to end it all. Also as a sidenote any other lightsource is OK though artificial sunlight used to grow plants may cause some ill-effects.
Rule 3: If anyone compares you to what modern media calls 'vampires' tear off their arms, bludgeon them with said arm and feast upon their sweet blood if they are human because as stated before blood tastes good.
Rule 4: Don't eat their flesh. You drink blood, not eat flesh. You would be no better than the common ranks of the dead if you were to do so.
Rule 5: do not eat children for two reasons One: they are kids and let out a loud noise when bit Two: they have less blood then an adult let them grow up then drink there blood tis an effort but if you are starving little kids are OK to feed from.
Rule 6: Drink the blood of anyone who has no personality it gives them a sense of meaning doesn't it?
Rule 7: bite me is used as a request towards vampires not the insult of course.
Rule 8: don't just leave the bodies of your victims around a vampire hunter such as van hellsing will find it easier to track you.
Rule nine: the artery in the neck is always nice but the artery in the wrist is less of a dead give away.
Rule 10: Don't be so sad about being immortal eternally youthful and powerful... if you are then just commit the action stated in rule two.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Rituwel
Category:Beings
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
A Haunted Soul

Hi there I'm Harri.J.lane and I have a confession.
This isn't a silly "tea party" story.
It's a serious. Important. Message.
I don't expect many of you to believe me....
So let's just start where it REALLY started.
Not a "Dark stormy night owls hooting"
None of that bullcrap.
So get ready.
For my story.
It all started when I was young around 4-5.
Someone once told me that there was a species of being called "The Watchers"
Beings who stare and learn from the human world.
Dousing out pain and misery to people who have done wrong in life.
I was young and didn't believe a thing of it.
But then later that afternoon I was watching a festival in the town square of my city.
Hundreds of people dancing and celebrating for some reason.
I was amazed by it all the music, the food ALL my senses just exploded and I began to run around wildly.
I danced for hours until I was at the edge of the crowd finding it hard to see the parade that had marched past over and over again.
Suddenly, a hand grabbed the back of my jacket and I was pulled out of the people's way.
No one noticed, they were too busy.
I struggled to let myself free scared of who or what might be behind me.
Twisting and turning I fell from the hands of what had grabbed me.
(Now unfortunately while I was dancing I overdid it and sprained my knee)
Because of this, when I tried to run back into the croud I tripped over and twisted in the air landing backwards looking behind where I was moments before.
A dark charred face stared back, eyes delving deep into the creatures face like caverns of stone and ores.
Instead of a nose two dark slits showed the mark.
The mouth twitching in a evil twisted sad smile purple lips bleeding with bitten slices.
White skin with crusty dried blood all around the creature took one step back.
Tripping on its own dark black cloak the creature tumbled in the air and landed on his ankle twisting it.
Intoxicating mutated scarred feet showed from under the cloak bones jutting many centimetres from where they should be.
Crawling back into a standing position the creature tried to re-grab me with its surprisingly small child like hands with extremely dark fingernails.
I dodged the grab and stepped back quickly into the crowd of dancing happy people.
Standing still the creature whispered even though about a meter from me I heard clearly:
"This game we play is not a joke your friends bodies lay in charred smoke"
"Never call for any help or I will kill you and you will yelp"
Crawling away backwards the swarm of people crowded around me I was terrified.
Ever since then every moment of my life has been a sick twisted game.
I follow the rules of the creature that brought this upon me in fear of it damaging my friends and family.
And still as I write this story words echo in my mind as I am sent my next mission from my otherwordly masters.
"Release your story for your time is nigh do not lie or you will die"
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Beings
Category:English Class Failure
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Old Shit
A Joker Kills a Jack

Jack the Joker.
That's what I called my best friend, Jack Terone. He was a good friend, always by my side, cheering me up when I was down. You might think that's what all friends do, but there was just something a little more comforting about the way Jack did it. He was always very artistic. He created lots of moody paintings. He also loved old music. What was strange though is that all the old music CDs Jack owned never seemed to be real. I tried looking them up on the internet a bunch of times, with no results found. It's like me and him were the only ones that knew about them.
Anyways, I thought old music was a strange interest due to us only being in Elementary School at the time, but I never complained, because my parents had told me at least 100 times to let other people have their own opinions. Then one day, in Grade 5, we were assigned a video project in English class. We had to make an explorational video representing how we think of the world. Jack never looked to happy when we were assigned the project.
Later that day, being my lazy self, I told Jack that he should make the video himself and afterwards deliver it to me so that I could criticize it. That weekend, the doorbell to my house rang and when I answered, some people in strange masks playing one of Jack's favorite songs presented themselves, and one of them gave me Jack's video. They then walked away, not saying a word.
I put the video in my VCR and started watching. The video wasn't much. Just Jack recording a doll with a smiling mask. One of his old songs were playing in the background. Then, Jack started wrestling with the doll as if it had attacked him. It was dark and blurry, but that's what I was able to make out. Then, the video ended.
Being young at the time, I was incredibly creeped out by the video. I never bothered showing it to the class and I got an F for the video project. I learned a lesson that when you're doing a group project, make sure you do the equal amount of work as your partner(s). I had never seen Jack again ever since that very day.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Collab
A Kirby Fanfic (HIGHLY NSFW)

Here's a REAL fanfic (it's Kirby btw, get prepared to have your childhood destroyed)
It was a very sunny, happy day in Dreamland. Like always, Kirby was walking around Dreamland, eating evil, or even helpless and harmless peeps. Kirby walked to find King Dedede's house. "Hey, we haven't talked to each other in a while, so how 'bout it?" Kirby said to himself. He used his mask to knock on his door. He then waited for a response. The door opened. "Kiiiiirby!!!" exclaimed the King. "Come in, you arrived just in time! I have hot chocolate ready! "Oh boy!" said Kirby. "I'm thirsty!" While walking into his house, he noticed an inflated sex doll on the counter. "OH! I-ignore that! That, is... um... my friend's doll! Heheh." Kirby seemed confused why he had a MALE sex doll, even though he is a male. Kirby thought he could be gay. "Alrighty, I've got hot, hot, hot, hot chocolate!" Kirby drank faster than you could say, "Poyo!" King Dedede said to him, with a blushy face, "W-would you please come into my bedroom?" The King had a 50/50 chance of success. He didn't know if he was gay or not. "S-sure, I guess..." Kirby said, with also a blushy face. Dedede led Kirby to his bedroom. "Go onto the bed," said the King. "You might have been tired after all that walking..." Kirby jumped onto the bed. Kirby said to the King, "King Dedede, I-i have something to tell you..."
"Go on," the King said, curiously. "I'm gay." Kirby said. "PERFECT!" King Dedede yelled. "Will you have sex with me?" "Sure." Kirby said. The King then proceeded to take off his clothes, revealing his dick and ass. Kirby then whipped out his dick.
(Here's where the "fanfic" part takes place)
The King told Kirby to put his dick in his mouth, and he did just that. Slowly, they both moaned sexually. Both their dicks hardened and grew, while cumming. Kirby took his dick out of King Dedede's mouth. Kirby lay on the King's growling belly, and he enjoyed listening to the somewhat sexual sound. He then rubbed his dick all over the King, covering him with cum. The King did the same. They both kissed, in an EXTREMELY sexual way. Once again, Kirby lay on the King's growling belly. He knew that he was hungry, and Kirby had the fetish of vore, so he said the unthinkable. "King, will you please eat me?" King Dedede replied with a brave "Yes." Kirby climbed his body, and crawled into his mouth. Dedede closed it. Before going down the throat, he rubbed his dick all over the mouth, covering it with cum. Kirby was covered in saliva, and then went into the throat. He slowly fell. "Mmmmmm..." King Dedede said. "You taste so amazing.." "I bet I do." Kirby replied. Kirby made his way into the belly, and enjoyed it. He stayed there forever, his new home.
The End.﻿
Category:Bad Fanfiction
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:TPOTM
A Legendary Cock

I once had a beautiful cock. It was the finest purebred cock in all the land. People came far and wide to stroke and admire my cock.
I would often bounce me cock on me knee for hours in awe and sing songs to him. Such a strong and healthy cock was never before seen.
Late into the night I'd whisper to me cock "You make me so proud. Nobody has a cock like you".
Eventually the wife got jealous. She said I'd rather spend all my time playing with the cock than paying attention to her.
"A majestic cock is all I have!" I yelled. "Your jealousy is upsetting the cock and he's gettin shy".
To my great horror, she swiftly beheaded me prized cock with a cleaving knife. I cried long into the night and the next morning.
There'll never be a finer cock in all the land.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Shortpasta
A Lengthy, Frightening Defecation

You may find credibility in the following anecdote, or you may not, but it is factual. On a particular day, I consumed an overly-abundant quantity of Gallus gallus domesticus from Kentucky Fried Chicken, and I got diarrhea, and I defecated enough to cover the flooring with feces, and I quickly proceeded to the toilet, which filled up, so I went to the other lavatory. Suddenly, the feces transformed from a liquid state to a solid state, and it proclaimed "I had an internship at" but before it could finish, I flushed it down, and Jeffrey the Assassin came out of my anus and assassinated me. I am undecided if I will ever view feces in the manner which I did before this happening ever again. A haunted video game cartridge was inside my Nintendo Dual Screen called "Super Mario Fecesshine", and Mariobenjamin was possessing it, and he gained telepathic control of my colon. One hundred and twenty hours after the happening, I had completed the game, and I proceeded to the doctor. He removed a spirit of a deceased person from my gluteus maximus, and the Tails Doll came out, too. The doctor proclaimed that my anus was free of sunshine. Three hundred seconds after his proclamation, I expired due to gluteal cancer. Then, a human skeletal structure, which was the doctor's dummy, appeared.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Mario
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Im died
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Look ma, it's one of those creepypasta characters!
A Letter For Angela Anaconda

Dear Angela,
This is not a suicide letter. You don't have to worry about Johnny, Nanette and me anymore. Everyone except Nanette, she's dead. But we're not dead... in some kind of a way. While reading this, I highly recommend to sit down.
It's all started in a couple of weeks ago. Me and Johnny were talking, and we saw a guy who is selling some stuff. We bought a bottle of green acid, Johnny drank the whole thing and he started to change. He became a zombie!
Don't terrify now, we don't want to call the cops, or people from Hiroshima. Anyway, Nanette was too curious, so she came into a "restricted area". She saw what Johnny really is and she wanted to run. We used her for "target practice" and if that was real, Johnny would got 100 points. She fainted, and woke up fast. She made a revolt, so I couldn't do nuthin' but kill her, so I did that. I knew I made a mistake, so I revieved her with a few drops of that acid. She woke up and made a SECOND revolt. I did what I do first time, but that didn't work.
Johnny beat her down, so she fainted and, quickly as we can, threw her up at sewers. I think she woke at the middle of the fall, 'cause we heard gurguling and screaming when Croock ate her. We saw another zombie. That zombie wanted to ate me, but he swam and he didn't survived because of a Croock. Genius!
He said that Johnny need to take an airboat if he wants to come to their "tribe". And you know what Johnny did? He made a wall to that path of zombie's "tribe". We destroyed the half of wall for Emergency Exit. There is another route that is going to Kanals. We put some laser guns, it was at that weirdo's stuff. But let's get back to story.
Well, after that, I made suicide. Johnny is still angry at me, but what's the matter about that? I'm a Walrider! Shortly, a ghost. That is why we're missing. Don't tell ANYONE about this or you will be one of Johnny's people.
Well, we found a lot of allies here. Cats! We thought that the walls are talking. How silly we are! We put bunk beds, television and stuff in our den. Plus, there are some graffiti, so it's good to have a little of decorior.
We also found Resistance graffiti and some dead headcrabs. Johnny ate them with deliscious mood on his face. Gross!
You read it to end? Good. Now burn it down. You don't wanna be a zombie, eh?
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Bad Fanfiction
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:English Class Failure