nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Sneep killz Doomblyhor

Hello, I know this may come as a shock and will probably disturb children, but you have to know the truth: Snape kills Dumbledore in book 6 of Harry potter. You probably know this, but alas, I did not when it was spoiled for me by my arch nemesis Doosh Bagg. When he told me this, I cried. I decided I would not read Harry Potter anymore because it was spoiled for me. It's been 3 years since then. I was moving out of my house and decided to let my old Harry Potter book collection stay at the old house, I didn't care about that shit anymore. I decided to go into my new house's basement and I realized my books were there and they were covered in blood. Did the moving-in people put them there? I went upstairs and deck the bastard who put them here.
Big mistake, going upstairs. The moving-in guy was crucified where my door should have been and the books were strewn on the floor. I pissed and shat in my pants. Book 6, The Half Blood prince floated off the floor and opened up. A disembodied voice said "read it". The voice echoed around the room infinitely, over and over again. I waited 3 hours for it to stop. It did not, it just got louder and shriller. I decided to actually read the friggin book so the voice stopped. However, all the words were replaced with "Snape kills Dumbledore!" I read the whole book, which was just those three words over and over again. I tried to run, but I was glued down. I looked up, hoping for a divine solution.
Everything was wrong. All the things in the room were replaced with Snape. Planet of the Snapes, Snapes on a plane, Snape Wine, A Roman Emperor with a vine of Snapes. The voice returned, but it was Allen Rickman's. He was saying "Potter!" in an angry voice over and over. My ears bled, I screamed and punched at the walls, but Allen Rickman's voice got louder. I can still hear it now. I'm hearing it as I type with bloody, bruised fingers as Severus Snape watches me, grinning at my anguish. I can feel my skin unravel. I'm tearing it off. Allen Rickman? More like Allen SICKman.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Suicide
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
Sneezing Copypasta

Please help, when I sneeze, it sounds like I'm saying the n-word.
I'm not sure what to do. For my early life, it wasn't a huge deal. I lived in a mostly white family who didn't really care, and I stayed home from school when I was sick. But now that I'm in college, I'm terrified of what it could mean. Doctors won't help me. Every time I've asked, they think I'm making it up and doing it on purpose, and now that I've moved, my doctor is this 6ft tall African-American man. I haven't been to a check-up in over a year.
It's causing trouble with school too. The first instance was in chemistry. The professor told me to pass out some bunsen burners from the cabinet to the rest of the students. I got up and opened the cabinet, but it was super dusty inside, and before I could help myself, a huge sneeze forced itself out of my body. The n-word (the variant that ends in -a) sounded across the classroom, and I just froze. My cheeks heated up as everyone just stared at me. I quickly said that I needed to go get a tissue and ran from the classroom. I was forced to have a meeting with my professor later, where she was adamant that she wouldn't have that kind of language in her classroom. I tried to explain that it was an accident and I didn't even have a reason to say the n-word while sneezing and gathering bunsen burners, but she was already mad so I think she zeroed in on my word choice and thought that I was inferring that other times I DID have a reason to say it. I didn't get kicked out but nobody wanted to partner with me for the rest of the semester, and I feel like the professor was a bit harsher on test questions.
The most recent event happened only yesterday, and I'm terrified of what it could mean. I was in line at the Chick-fil-A in the cafeteria, feeling like shit. I'd been sick for a day or two, and normally I don't go out because of my unique problem, but I was starving and just needed to grab a quick bite. Right as I got up to the counter, I felt a sneeze coming on, and knew I was screwed. Here's the thing. When I'm sick, the issue is 10x worse. The phlegm or something in my throat makes the n-word sound come out with a lower, R-sound at the end instead of the gasp that normally makes the A. So I'm standing there, about to order my 8pc nugget, when I spasm and unleash a full forced hard-r n-word across the entire cafeteria. Everybody heard it. Literally everybody. The girl at the counter, who unfortunately was black, just looked so hurt and angry at the same time, not to mention I think I may have sneezed a little on her. I turned and bolted from the cafeteria. I ran straight back to my dorm; I saw a group of guys trying to follow me, but they couldn't get in to my specific dorm building. I recognized a few of them from my chemistry class. I've been in my dorm ever since. I'm terrified of leaving. I'm positive that if they see me again, they'll kick the shit out of me.
So that's my problem. I'm not sure how to prove my innocence and I don't think I'll survive another semester at this rate.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Snoop Dogg Dream Emulator

I dun' know 'bout you. But when I gets me a game, I love to go back to the classics. The days of super May-ro, and Sanic. Yeahhh, I'm talkin' bout the 80's. Back in the day, there were so many fucking games and I loved them all. But one game, I will never touch again. I was in the video store one day, lookin' for some Nintendo Tapes when I found this one game.. called Snoop Dogg Dream Emulator. The cover of the game was weird, it was colored in an Infrared crayon, so there was no way I could've seen it. I might've gone into a different dimension a couple of times, but that's a different story.
So I went over to the register and gave the game to the man. The picture of the game had pot leaves all over it! The cashier then held me over the counter and spanked me until my eyes were as red as the infrared! That's nasty, bitch!
So I went home and played the game, and I was lovin' it like Mickey Double D's. The game was about Snoop Dogg havin' a dream. Spoiler Alert: It was a wet dream. Nicki Manage was there, but only her rectum. My eyes melted when I saw hyper-realistic shit cover the TV screen. Then I realized that my dog was on top of it. Then Snoop woke up. He then rolled a joint the size of the US National Debt and lit it. He then fell back to sleep, more stoned than a rock.
He then had another wet dream. This time he was drowning in his own semen.
Hyper.
Realistic.
Semen.
At this point, I tried shutting the game off, but the game stopped me. I was paralyzed except for my fingers and thumbs! Like NES Godzilla or some shit. But my fears only escalator when the creepy molester mailman came into my home and took advantage of the situation. All I saw was hyper-realistic semen. I didn't know if it was from the game, or the mailman! So I continue playing the game, my rectum now loaded and my pants at my ankles. Then all of a sudden, Squidward Testicles comes out of the TV and starts tentacle fucking me! After that, my NES exploded, and my TV was covered in hyper-realistic carbonized carbon.
But just when I thought it was over, I got strapped to a chair and got my nipples electrocuted by none other than John Madden! The clever bastard always snuck his way into these things.
Now I know why Snoop Dogg has to smoke weed everyday.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Snoop dog the killer

Excerpt from a local Newspaper:
OMINOUS UNKNOWN KILLER IS STILL AT LARGE.
After weeks of unexplained murders, the ominous unknown killer is still on the rise. After little evidence has been found, a young boy states that he survived one of the killer's attacks and bravely tells his story.
"I had a bad dream and I woke up in the middle of the night," says the boy, "I saw that for some reason the window was open, even though I remember it being closed before I went to bed. I got up and shut it once more. Afterwards, I simply crawled under my covers and tried to get back to sleep. That's when I had a strange feeling, like someone was smoking weed. I looked up, and nearly jumped out of my bed. There, in the little ray of light, illuminating from between my curtains, were a pair of two eyes. These weren't regular eyes; they were dank, red eyes. They were bordered in smoke and... just plain out terrified me. That's when I saw his mouth. A long, blunt that made every hair on my body stand up. The figure stood there, watching me. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he said it. A simple phrase, but said in a way only a mad man could speak.
"He said, 'Smoke Weed Everyday.' I let out a scream, that's what sent him at me. He pulled up a blunt of weed; aiming at my mouth. He jumped on top of my bed. I fought him back; I kicked, I punched, I rolled around, trying to knock him off me. That's when my dad busted in. The man threw the blunt, it went into my dad's shoulder. The man probably would've finished him off, if one of the neighbors hadn't alerted the police.
"They drove into the parking lot, and ran towards the door. The man turned and ran down the hallway. I heard a smash, like glass breaking. As I came out of my room, I saw the window that was pointing towards the back of my house was broken. I looked out it to see him vanish into the distance. I can tell you one thing, I will never forget that face. Those cold, evil eyes, and that psychotic blunt. They will never leave my head."
Police are still on the look for this man. If you see anyone that fits the description in this story, please contact your local police department.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Snow Beast

There are very few truly wild places left on Earth, the Arctic Circle being one of them - in this frozen wilderness lays many wonders largely hidden from the rest of the world.
The "Snow Beast" is a creature that is said to inhabit the Arctic Circle and although the name would invoke the legendary Yeti of the Himalayas the "Snow Beast" is a decidedly different creature altogether.
Appearing on icebergs just off the shores of many areas of the Arctic Circle the "Snow Beast" is a pure white humanoid - lacking any arms or head but walking on two legs: the creature is said to be extremely dangerous and has many abilities at odds with modern science.
For example the "Snow Beast" is at home both above and below the frozen Arctic waves, being able to swim at alarming speeds and having the strength to capside small boats: it can also apparently appear and disappear at will, though dismissed as pure fantasy there is also legends of the "Snow Beast" being able to steer small icebergs into the line of approaching vessels.
The "Snow Beast" is highly malicious and seems to take delight in endangering the lives of others, both human and animals - the creature is said to regularly kill wildlife and toss the carcasses onto nearby icebergs: one of the supposed signs of the "Snow Beast" being present is finding icebergs with animal carcasses laying on them.
Attempts to kill or injure the "Snow Beast" are said to be futile and for this reason it is blamed for many disasters, disappearances and general misfortune in the remote Arctic Circle.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Beings
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Snow Ritual

I got the bread and milk cause the snow was acommin!
Next day i was playin aminal crossing new horizons and th snow was acommin down. Ahnka the cat said "its okay just don't let it in" i then go and open my front door and ther was a giant green creachur of C'Shan and it said "r u really that dumb?" i scream and slam the door on its tentacles that wer creepin in and it said "OUCH Y U DO DAT?" it then left i was run 2 th bedroom lock th door and hide under the covers. 
Tom Nook on the TV said "hiding will not help yes yes!" i then seen tarantula spids wer crawlin out of th TV so i run outside and i seen hooded figures dancin around a alter and th green creechur of C'Shan reappear and said "nice day for a snow ritual ay? say would u like 2 make a sizeable donation 2 the Church of C'Shan?" i skreemed and tried 2 run back in but the creecher's tentacles grabed my feed and said "wat do u think ur doping? that house belongs 2 th spiders now duuh!" it then put me in its mouith and swallowed me.
i was awaken deep in the earth and it was revealed 2 b a cave were the plant things for JEMINE HOME ENTERTAINMENT lived and i seen a evil gardener and it spoke in a highly distorted voice "yOu DiD noT DoO tHE SnOOooOoOOO RituaAAaL!!!" i was then turned into a woodcrawler and now im walkin around and i sucks. i then seen a evil floating skull and it said "Hi I am from the nightmare where i chase ppl up the stairs in the Harry Potter castle would you like to make a sizable donation 2 the Church of C'Shan?" 1. I had had that dream before 2. i had no $ so it punished me and i was respawn as a human but had no house.
The snow was hyperrealistically cold too much that GIANT ANCIENT FROZEN PATRIXX appeared he said "hellog good son r u enjoying the brainwashing?" i said "NO!" he said "HOW DARE U DEFY ME!?" he then froze me and i was turn into the snow man from frozen but i was not cute and sold no merch so i was died of poor.
ur next 
t nd
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Rituwel
Category:Beings
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Crappy ms paint drawings
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Im died
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
Snowmurder

The woman sat in her chair and was about to have a nice cup of tea under her lamp, things have been hard for her lately and she wanted to just relax and calm herself with some tea.
As she was about to take a drink, the Christmas tree's lights had suddenly went out. "That's funny." She said to herself after seeing the lights go out. She got up from her chair and went to go fix the lights. The cord was pulled out and she went to go put it back into place. But as she did, the cord had swiftly pulled back, she back up in fear and then bumped into something. She had felt was was behind her, it was cold and wet.
She stood there, and looked at her her hand, it had snow on it. There was a snowman there, a large one that towered over her. The snowman reached his arm to grab the Christmas light and started to strangle her. She tried to scream and get the lights off of her neck, but the snowman had grabbed an ornament and shoved it into her mouth. The snowman had then grabbed her head and slammed it into a box of glass ornaments then raised it up having bits of glass stuck in her face, she screamed with the ornament in her mouth then the snowman had forced her head down again, getting more glass stuck in her face.
Her face was in pain as the snowman had pushed her onto the tree, grabbed the star on the top and stabbed her in the head with it, making a wicked grin and and growled like and animal as he finished her.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
So I'm boinking this chick, right?

I mean, I'm laying down the pipe like I'm a plumber with a gun to his head. This chick was thicc too. Dummy thicc. I'm making these cheeks clap like they're giving me a round of applause as if I was Spielberg and shit.
I'm shmackin' and thwackin' and out of nowhere some fool starts banging on my door all loud and shit. I'm like, man this better not be who I think it is. I open the door. Dong out, of course. It's Thiccie's boyfriend! He starts telling me he's gonna kill me and shit. I slam the door in his stupid, fucking face and get back to thrusting that whomp-whomp.
Later that day, at night, when it's all dark and shit, I start hearing footsteps in my crib. Aw hell no, this fool done got brave. I pull out my Romp-tomp with the willy-trigger and the full speed barrels (you gun-people know what I'm talking about) and start blasting. POP POP POP. I heard that fool fall to the floor. I run over and flip on that light-switchie to get a better look. "Damn pops, you got me good." Oh shit. That wasn't Thiccarella's boyfriend, it was my 5-year old son! "My bad, G." I told him, but he wasn't having it. "Nah dawg, you ain't getting forgivsies on this." Then he fucking croaked.
I buried little homie under the floorboards and he's been haunting the shit out of me everyday since then.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
So I recently discovered something about Gardevoir

Hey guys, I'd like to discuss a fan favorite Pokémon, Gardevoir. After some extensive research, I've learned that Gardevoir is actually a yandere. Not only does its PokeDex entries state that it will give its life to protect its trainer, it proves this in its moveset. It's capable of learning Destiny Bond, Momento, Grudge and even Misty Explosion to take down any who dare harm its precious trainer and can even learn Healing Wish to sacrifice itself for that trainer to ensure their safety. On the flip side, it can finesse you with moves, such as Charm, Attract, and Captivate, and can even make you love it with the move Hypnosis. Its love for its trainer is so great that it has the power to create a small black hole. Likely as a last ditch effort to protect its beloved, as even a small singularity would destroy said trainer, Gardevoir itself, and who or whatever provoked it into creating the black hole to begin with. It's Psychic typing and ability Synchronize means it can bond with you on a mental and emotional level, all in effort to please you. It can even ensure this on a physical level, as it is capable of learning Pain Split, meaning that whatever pain you endure, you endure together. Don't get on its bad side, however. The black hole feat aside, Gardevoir possesses the ability to use Disable to keep you from taking any sort of action, as well as Mean Look, which prevents you from escaping it. Should you somehow escape it, you won't get far, as it can learn Teleport and as a Psychic type who with Telepathy and the use of Future sight, it can tell if you're lying, where you've been and where you will be. However, circling back to its wholesome aspects, after forming a close bond with its trainer, it possesses the ability to Mega Evolve, taking on a form that gives it a wedding dress. This is especially noteworthy, as most Pokémon who Mega Evolve gain power at the cost of constant pain and suffering, Gardevoir does to ensure that you will see it as your eternal beloved partner, who it deems worthy of devoting its life to in battle and in love.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:THERY
Category:Satire
Category:Pokemon
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Well, that was pointless.
So You're in Danger of Going on the Naughty List

I got asked in regards to the last story what happens if your dealings with the Unseelie court (particularly if you perform the Spring Ritual) puts you in danger of being put on the Naughty list.
As long as you keep up a good relationship with The Unseelie Court they will have your back. The best way to do so is to make a thrice monthly donation of evidence that you have corrupted something good.
In addition to limited time only magical trinkets and tote bags you can apply for increased protection from what they call "The Red Menace".
It's a somewhat tedious process but they're happy to do it for as long as you serve their needs in return.
You see it's not as simple as them pulling strings and getting a deep cover agent elf to secretly write and remove a name from 2 sets of scrolls. Noooo, it's way more sophisticated than that.
It's a database of names where every individual registered in the database has their good and bad deeds cataloged and calculated to an overall final score that at the beginning of every December will result in your name getting put under either the "NAUGHTY" or "NICE" columns on the excel tables of the gift delivery list.
Anyone who ever grabbed a gift from under a tree (or sufficiently acceptable facsimile) anytime during December is on that database.
The very moment you start unwrapping your gift, an elf on the shelf will secretly take up residence in your home and watch you from the shadows. Every thing the elf's sees you do good or bad is magically logged into the database.
It's said every bad deed will result in your score dropping. Once your score is negative, you are officially a naughty list candidate unless you do enough good deeds to bring your score back up to acceptable levels.
The Unseelie Court will first capture and torture the your elf on the shelf. They will recondition the elf to believe you are too pure and sacred to ever do anything bad. Every bad deed you do from now on will be seen in a different light but more positive light resulting in lower point drops.
The Court has several deep cover agents in the North Pole. They will every so often check your score on the database. If the score is gone down by a significant amount, The Court will have literal goons pay your shelf elf a visit to get a "friendly" reminder.
You may be wondering what happens if Mr. Claus finds out. Well...The North Pole is trying to downplay this fact but Santa is a living corpse connected to the Red Sleigh which is an enormous life support device which barely manages to keep Santa's decrepit body alive. Santa in an act of desperation sacrificed himself during the time the Martian version of Santa betrayed Earth Santa in a bid to take over the earth. Santa focuses his powerful mind on protecting the earth from the Martian menace.
So considering the current circumstances, Santa doesn't really care.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Holidays
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Beings
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
So i was on da computr

and i was typing and it started typing b
it wouldnt stop typing b
i was like what
stop typing b
why wouldnt it stop typing b
i need it to stop typing b
somebody give my computer therapy
it was insulted by another computer and now its sad, the other computer said b
why b
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
stop it
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
:(
Category:Trollpasta
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Overused Running Gag
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
So then who was the phone?

One night I wondered, who was the phone?
Simple. Is a theory
==The phone's being==
The phone is a drug addict who calls people to scare.
==WHO WAS PHONE?==
The phone was obviously the hyper realistic skeleton coming out of my speaker and now I am dead.
HELP ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:English Class Failure
Category:THERY
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:WHO WAS PHONE?
Category:Im died
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta