John Amos Comenius

Jan Ámos Komenský / John Amos Comenius
 Basic data Sex 
male
Hair
under the zucchetto
Life
1592 – 1670
Death
long time ago
Familly
died of Black Death
Nationality
unfortunatelly Czech
Career
protestant preacher, bishop, tunnel builder (an embezzler), pedagogue, writer, cantor, emigrant, collaborator, theologist, philosopher etc. etc. etc.
Kids
they died of Black Death
John Amos Comenius (Czech: Jan Amos Komenský; Slovak: Ján Amos Komenský; German: Johann Amos Comenius; Polish: Jan Amos Komeński; Hungarian: Comenius Ámos János, in other sources: Hungarian: Comenius-Szeges János; Latinized: Iohannes Amos Comenius) (28 March 1592 – 15 November 1670) was a Czech-speaking Moravian preacher, bishop, tunnel builder (an embezzler), pedagogue, writer, cantor, emigrant, collaborator, theologist, philosopher, educational reformer etc. etc. etc.
== Life and work ==
Komenský was born roughly in the second millennium after Christ in Uherský Brod (Hungary Ford in English) in Moravistan (current Czechia). His family often moved, so his birth certificate was lost and several trivial villages in the neighborhood also claim his birth.
While John should have gone to the orderly catholic school, he instead schmucked around and wrote a dictionary, but it was burned later. He also taught and took orders to be a protestant preacher. He preached and was against the Catholic Church, much like the Reformation, Enlightenment, Napoleon, Nazis, Communists and the European Union. Communists took note of him when he escaped after the White Mountain Bottle incident, and he remains free to this day. Saint Adalbert of Prague, Saints Cyril and Methodius (aka Jára Cimrman) deserved much more than Komenský. He fled abroad into exile because he was against the Catholic Church. He deserved his exile fate; after all, he let his family die of the Black Death rather than pay their boat fare to Sweden.
Indeed, he escaped to Sweden; there, Protestants didn't matter to anyone. He shat away his money on Swedish educational reform. He also drew a map of Moravistan and gave it to Swedes so that they would not burn down Moravistan during the Thirty Years' War. Then he escaped to Holland, where he finally died.
== Opinions ==
Komenský was an educational reformer; his opinions were mainly pedagogal. He thought everyone had to learn and yet that no one had to learn, because everyone has to learn at least a little something in life whether he wants to or not. He wrote schoolbooks (like Orbis Pictus, the first picture Latin schoolbook) that no one uses today. He invented new kinds of schools ("Play Schools," for example) and other rubbish like teaching without corporal punishment.
== Writing ==
Komenský wrote, but his writings were of such little importance that they were all burned, so nobody reads them now. This is the reason why Uncyclopedia doesn't write about them.
File:Komenského_mapa_Moravy.jpg|Komenský's Moravistan Map was written in Swedish for Swedes in order to don't forget something burn down in Moravistan during Thirty Years' War (caption by Borat)
File:20 Kčs.jpg|Komenský on 20 Czechoslovak-Communist crowns banknote...
File:200 Kč.jpg|and on the 200 Czech crowns banknote - he marked up ten times in ten years
Category:Czech Republic
Category:Protestantism
Category:Scientists
Category:Writers
cs:Jan Ámos Komenský