San Marino

San Marino is a weird dot positioned somewhere in Italy. Somehow these folks got it into their head that they're too good for Italy just because some fricking stonemason was persecuted by the Roman Empire. I suppose they have a point, because the elite decision-makers at Earth Politics HQ declared them a country.
==History==
San Marino was founded by a stonemason who ran away because the Roman Empire was mean to him. What a wimp. I wonder how the Marinoans have any sense of national pride? The only redeeming quality they have is that they are "the oldest existing constitutional republic", which nobody outside San Marino probably gives two shits about (except Mariano Calixte Pictet). They are also the "smallest country or other jurisdiction participating in European football competitions". Wow! I'm impressed. Why the hell does anybody care about the size of countries participating in European soccer competitons? You can play, that's great. Now piss off.
==Alternate History==
During recent years rumours about a horrible plan by the San Marinese government to take over the world have begun to surface, though much still remains unclear. Here follows an excerpt from "The History of San Marino: A story of true Evil" by famous historian, archeologist, biologist, scientist, teacher, ass kicker and Swede, General Appo (cue evil laugh):
==Geography==
San Marino consists of nine towns on nine hills. That's it. It's frickin' tiny. They're unlucky. Russia has all of Siberia, and it only uses it for mining, shaman rituals, and exiling capitalists. They should take it over. Too bad San Marino's army is about three people (as opposed to Liechtenstein's one-man army). They could still probably take on the USA with ease though, as the Marinoan crossbowman don't really do 'friendly fire' incidents, something which the US military frickin' excel in. Furthermore, the US has a history of losing to frickin' tiny places (Cuba, Vietnam, Iraq, Starbucks) so a loss to San Marino is frickin' likely.
Since the marinoans are too proud of living in a tiny castle-republic, they've decided not to take over France, whose army already had surrendered to San Marino. One Marino marine said: "It'd be too easy for us to conquer France, but we like our village, so we just slept with their women and took all the wine and cheese"
==Notable Marinoans==
Other than "Dan", there are no notable Marinos, apart from their nice girls. San Marinese girls speak Italian and look just as sexy as Italian girls, which is pretty hot. However, if you marry a San Marinese girl, you will be able to be domiciled in San Marino for tax purposes and benefit from big tax breaks.
==Sport ==
San Marino is renowned for their successful football team in spite of the country's small size. The national side made headlines with an emphatic 1–0 victory over powerhouse Liechtenstein in 2004, the winner coming courtesy of an own-goal from Mario Frick, which was subsequently claimed by Andy Selva. The team attracted widespread praise again in 2006 when they restricted three-time World Cup winners Germany to scoring 13 goals in a qualifying match for the 2008 European Championships. Their national team will never earn a win until 20 years later in the 2024-25 UEFA Nations Leauge, where they have demolished Liechtenstein on both legs with a 1-0 win at home and a 1-3 win away at Liechtenstein. So far this is the only team that San Marino has beaten, as there are no european clubs that has ever officially competed against San Marino in fear that they would be steamrolled by their impenetrable team. 
San Marino probably has a hockey team.
Category:Things George Bush doesn't care about
Category:Italy
Category:Places that think they are countries
Category:Places no one cares about
Category:Places stuck in the past
Category:Forgotten Countries
Category:To be real, nobody cared about these articles anyway.
bar:San Marino
da:San Marino
de:San Marino
es:San Marino
fr:Saint-Marin
hr:San Marino
ja:サンマリノ
ko:산마리노
lt:San Marinas
mn:Сан-Марино
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