nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Resident Feeble

Once upon a time, there was a scary video game called Resident Feeble. I don't say the real name because it's too scary. 
You had to hold left and right to turn!
One night when I was playing, President Vevil interrupted my game. He took my controller and I died. And now I am trapped in Video Game Hell.
But it was actually my little brother!
That was when I woke up and went to school. Everything was good that day. 
I brushed by teeth. 
We had pizza for lunch; it was Pizza Day, the end.
There was no milk so I poured soda in my cereal!
I still go to speech therapy for my Dracula voice. 
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Vidya games
Category:Shortpasta
Response to "Go Fuck Yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Shortpasta
Response to Navy Seal Copypasta

Did you just think that you could fucking fool me with that comment of yours? I've searched your name up in the Navy SEAL database and you have never even graduated BUD/S, hell, even served in the Armed Forces. If you were actually a Navy SEAL, then you actually know how to spell guerrilla, you fucking moron. And you say you are the top sniper in the entire US Armed Forces and have over 300 confirmed kills. If that were true, then why the fuck is Chris Kyle a household name and you aren't? And plus he only had 160 kills. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. Plus why the fuck would you say you have a secret network of spies yet you just revealed that you had your secret network of spies? Are you a fucking idiot? If you can kill someone seven-hundred different ways, then list them all, I bet you can't even come up with seven. And if you had access to the entire US Marine Corps arsenal, then why the fuck did you just say you were in the Navy SEALs earlier? If only you could have done your research prior to posting your little "clever" comment, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you goddamn idiot.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Memes
Category:Shortpasta
Response to the Minecraft Cock Chart

Honestly, the only thing that I hate about this picture is the artists lack of creativity. All of the mobs in the image (barring the Ghast of course) seem to have the same exact reproductive organs, which doesn't really make sense to me. For example when the slime is killed is divides itself into 4 smaller slimes as a defense mechanism, which implies that Minecraft slimes may in fact be able to reproduce asexually. Of course, one may argue that the smaller slimes may be unable to reproduce, but if that was the case, then how would such a defense mechanism persist? I think it makes sense that slime (and magma cubes) would be hermaphrodites. I imagine they would have long, thin prehensile penises (to compensate for the poor mobility of the slime) that shoot sperm to a relatively large distance. Every mating season, they would gather in the swamps and have penis fencing matches (similar to flatworms) to see who gets to carry offspring.
This took me about ~10 minutes to write. All that I am saying is that the artist could be a bit more creative.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Minecrap
Category:Memes
Category:Shortpasta
Restart

Can I ask you, Dawn, a question? Do you believe that things can get better? Do you believe Obama, the news, and anyone else when they say that everyone's lives can be changed by a small action, like breaking a pot can put a man into a deep depression? Don't. Don't you ever believe it. A man has murdered a woman because the voices in his head told him to. Was I fazed? No. I SMILED when I heard that news. But, now a woman is dead and I'm smiling. No, I didn't kill her. I'm just a little girl. Young. Harmless. Right? No, I've told you not to believe anyone when they tell you that things will change. Now, I need you to not believe ANYTHING. Not a soul can tell you different.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must restart. Oh, I didn't tell you about the restarting? Well, it goes like this. I lurk through the night. I try to find a prostitute near our city limits before we're in the next county. I take her home, down to the basement. She thinks she'll get some, but instead, I find the cleanest area down there. I let her decide her fate, knife or gun. I kill her, let her blood drip into a bathtub. Ahh, tonight feels like it's gonna be a knife. Anyway, I bathe in her collected blood, using her stomach as a sponge. Now, I'm of to find my reboot. My restart.
You idiot! I said not to believe anything I said, dumbass!
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Retake On Plankton Got Served: "one corse meal alternate ending"

hi my name is andrew and im 8 years old. my dad was a nick writer and he used to show me all these cool things from the cartoons he worked on. but then, he got sick and one day, he sadly passed away. i miss him a lot.
before he died, he gave me this really weird dvd. he said it was something special, and it was something he was working on. the dvd had "one coarse meal" written on it, but he said it was an alternate version. i was excited to watch it, even though it was a little scary to think about dad not being around anymore.
so that night, right before going to bed, i popped the dvd into my player and watched it. i remember it being all storyboard-like, just sketches and no colors, but i could still see what was happening.
in this version, plankton was laying on the road, like in the original episode, but then something crazy happened. a big truck came out of nowhere, and it ran him over! i gasped and covered my eyes, but i couldn't stop watching.
plankton's tiny ghost came out of his squished body, and he was standing on this weird cloud, like, right in the dark. i got chills all over. below the cloud, there was this red place, and it felt like the equivalent to heck. above the cloud, there was a bright white light, and it felt like the equivalent to heaven.
plankton's ancestors were down in the red place, and they were calling him to join them. their voices were all raspy and creepy. i couldn't believe what i was seeing. plankton looked scared, but he decided to go into the red place. when he did, he started burning alive. it was so disturbing!
the storyboard ended, and the dvd just ejected by itself. i was so freacked out and scared that i couldn't sleep at all that night. i wanted to forget what i had seen, but it was stuck in my head.
the next day, i gave the dvd back to my dad and told him about what happened. he looked sad and told me he was sorry for showing it to me. he said it was just an idea they had, but it didn't feel right, so they changed it for the actual episode.
i cant get those images out of my head, and i still feel scared when i think about it. its like a nightmare that keeps coming back. i miss my dad, and i wish he was here to tell me that everything will be okay. but for now, i try not to think about that scary alternate version of the cartoon he gave me.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Bad Fanfiction
Category:Suicide
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:SpongeBob
Category:English Class Failure
Revenge of the Doodooman

Okay first off I don't want to sound like a prophet elucidating some sort of rules. But first it might help to explain some shit about me. I can see peoples auras. Not like their soul or feelings or thoughts. I can see when the last time they farted and pooped was. Don't laugh but I also used to be a big constipation theorist. This means I thought the government wants to take our bathrooms away because government is Latin for poopy regulations. Boy I was poopwashed because it's so much worse. This is the highly credible account of a message I found in a bathroom stall.
So how it all sharted was I had a massive poo once. It got so involved that it started to flood and the dogs began barking all around the hood and the neighbors called the cops. I couldn't tell what was inside or outside anymore. So since then sometimes I can't always tell which smells are in the flesh or which smells are of the spirit. I occupy a place called the shitterstice - or sometimes the interspoop - in between the physical poop and the spiritual crap. That's enough backstory.
This time I'm fairly sure I was in the shitterstice, because the public restroom accepted no genders. I smelt a vision of the world coming undone and the sky being rolled up like toilet paper. A great beast plopped out and it was like it could see into my underwear. Then came a great voice that was like many toilets flushing but I don't know what it said because I can't read braille. It was like an octopus wearing really big pajamas, or something I saw clogging the drain once. It started like handing out minecraft valentines cards. They were custom made for each stall but a little of the gist was: like a call of nature no man knows the time or hour. Which didn't make sense cause there was a really big clock like right there. I think he said he used to be the god of party pooping but he lost his diefic status when it went out of style and he got flushed. This was how I came to know of the prophecy of the revenge of the doodooman, and felt the first stomach rumblings of Epooptymology.
Some other shit happened that I won't bore you with the details (it seems there is already a similar record anyway) but it climaxed when he tried to give me a book to eat, but after seeing where it came from I said no thanks I don't do drugs. It said it would feel good going in, but burn and hurt going out. So now I can say, don't order from the secret menu at a Mexican restaurant. If you never want to hear about rules again, let this be one to remember. Doodoo this in remembrance of me.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Memes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Reverse Solipsism

I drove into the town around midday. It was kind of creepy, because I had taken this route to Mississippi at least a million times and I had no memory of coming through here.
There was some light fog in the air. The stores on the side of the road had people standing in front of them. There was no sound.
Despite how macabre this town seemed at the time, I was running low on gas and needed to pull over. So I drove up to the nameless gas station and topped off. This had to have been a really old gas station. The pumps were tin and terribly rusted, and the display was made of slots.
I walked in the store to pay, and I felt like I stepped into a time warp. There were the glass bottles of coke, similar to the ones they sold in the fifties and sixties. All the candy bars and magazines had a black "10 cents" label emblazoned on them.
I pulled out 70 bucks and tried to hand it to the red-headed lady behind the counter, who was smoking a cigarette and reading a magazine. She didn't seem to respond to me. I tried to get her attention. "Ma'am?" No response. I waved my hand in front of her face. Nope. What was up with this lady? I just threw my money on the counter and left.
When I walked out, there was an old man leaning against the outside of the store. I asked him if he knew anything about the lady behind the counter. Just like the woman, no response.
What the hell? This guy too? Was this town full of vegetables?
I did the same things I tried with the lady. Yelling, waving my hand, same stuff. But when I tried to tap him on the shoulder, something very strange happened. My hand fell into his shoulder. He didn't bleed or anything, my hand just went through him, like he was a ghost or a hologram.
This got way too creepy. I ran back to my car and sped down the road.
When I got to Mississippi, I asked my parents if they knew anything about the town. They had no memory of encountering anything like it. When I drove back to Texas, I didn't see the town again.
I can't explain how I saw the town. I don't know where it came from or where it disappeared to. I thought about seeing a psychiatrist for a while, but I never went through with it or called anyone.
But if there's one thing I know, it's that I never want to find that town again.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Reverse the Curse of Smile Dog

I was once a victim of the curse of the photo of Smile Dog, A.K.A the nightmares and all that. It never got to the point where it talked to me, but lets get back to this curse reverse. So I was browsing creepypasta images on Google one day and found this photo in the midst of it. When I opend the link, the background website would load, but didn't take much thought about it. When I downloaded this image, I heard a loud noise come from outside. It was day time and when I peeked ouside, nothing was there. I was thinking before I checked and thought "Oh it's Slenderman, maybe! I get to meet him!" But no, It was Smile dog! I ran back inside, shut the sliding door and locked it. I ran back to my computer and I don't remember what I did! All I know is that I blacked out from scared to death or something. I had a dream about the dog but it seemed different.
Not only more vivid, but the expression of the dogs face was... it was... frowning? When I noticed this, the background window turned into daylight and the bloody hand wasn't there anymore. After this all happened, the dog said, in a mix between a Demon and a Human male voice,"You have set yourself free. You have set me free from your dreams. I thank you for this. When you heard that sound coming from the outside of your house, that was the evil dog being released from your dreams. That dog has dissappeared since your sleep."
I was confused and when the dog disappeared, I woke up. When I peeked back outside, there was no more dog, not even a puppy. When I went back online, the same search was still up, but I couldn't find it anywhere. I was like it was meant for me... When I went to look for it on my computer, a browser window popped up. It was CleverBot. What I was thinking was "Oh no, now I have to deal with Ben Drowned?!" but no, it was the dog, the good one. It instantly said, "When you find that image, pass it on. Get rid of that stinkn' dog." When I tried to reply, it just went back to the regular bot. I searched for hours and I finally found it. Finally, I came here to write this story. I give that image to you. It may still seem eerie and creepy, but trust me, it won't summon the evil dog or anything, it's been through my 'filters' and no evilness surrounds the image. KTHNXBAI
Oh, and please do look behind you ;)
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Look ma, it's one of those creepypasta characters!
Category:Animulz
Category:Dreams
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Rex the Killer

So since everyone is focusing on Jeff the Killer why doesn't anyone take notice to someone else. No one knows or cares about me and no one knows my story so if you are interested at all continue reading. One dark night a blood thirsty Jeff was searching for his next victim and he came upon a house, Jeff broke in and found a young girl around the age of 19 and decided on something else rather than kill her. Jeff slowly unzipped her pants and pulled down her thong and then pulled down some shorts he had taken from his last victim and his underwear. I will not describe what happend from there but I will say that 9 months later I was born, at night my dad Jeff would come and visit me and by the time I was 6 dad taught me how to use a knife to kill someone. I was not supposed to tell my mom about dad because if she knew dad could be tracked down and killed. Several years had come and past but by the time I was 16 dad would take me out to kill people and let me say that we had some good times, we actually almost came close to killing the president but we almost got caught. At the age of 17 dad told me if I wanted to come with him that I had to pass a test which was killing my mom. At 3 AM on a Sunday night I went and I killed my mom in her sleep and burned down the house to destory evidence and proceeded to jump in dad's newly stolen pickup truck to go to Miami, Florida. for the next 4 years we killed 548 people as it was hard to kill a bunch of people in a month. We traveled around the entire United States until we decided it was time to move on. At the age of 21 we snuck on a airplane to Europe and skydived into London with some parachutes we found on the plane. In England I met a girl who was 18 and we fell in love and she managed to help me and dad. One night while me, dad, and my girlfriend were running the police shot my girlfriend and killed her and in result managed to scar me for life. I gave my knife back to dad and I lived a normal life to the point where I got married and had 2 lovely children. Around the time I was 37 me and my wife awoke to the screams of our children, we ran to their room and we found them dead with dad right next to him. In the moment my dad lunged at my wife then killed her, in my rage I grabbed my pocket knife out of my pj's and killed him and from there forward I killed even more people. If you are reading this I have your IP in my possesion and you will be seeing me soon.
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Category:Crappy ms paint drawings
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Rhapsody

I had a teapot where I hid all this money and one day I went to make some tea but forgot the money was in there so after I drank the tea I started tripping and deduced that the money must have been laced with LSD as part of a bank conspiracy and jumped out the window because of the dancing crocodile policeman who was staring next to me but my window was actually the tea so I drowned and broke the teacup or at least I thought I did until a real policeman resuscitated me and pulled the shards of ceramic material out of my forehead several hours later but he had a crocodile head, did a twirl-dance, turned around, extended a hand in a way that said "May I have this dance?" but what he actually asked was "WOULD YOU LIKE A DOLLAR?!" because I then realized he had a dollar in that hand and then he grinned.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:One sentence
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Animulz
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Shortpasta
Rhobe-Locks

I was so bored of playing Clubpenguin without cheating. So I searched "Clubpenguin Cheats". I found ROBLOX on the top. I first played as a Guest, and LOVED it! Then, I made an account and nammed it PugglePie. I went on front page and chose "Ghost mansion!". It was fun untill a face appeared on the skybox. It said "You... are all.... next!" and there was blood everywhere. All the users in that server were scared. The exit button disappered. We ran all around when the face was back. "You... will DIE... as soon as I... rule ROBLOX!" it said. BOOM! BOOM! BOOOOOOOOM! Went the house BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Went the cave and mountian. We ran for our lifes. The face was out of control. "MWAHAHAHAHA!" It laughed. I ran for my life outta the room. I never played ROBLOX again.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Roblox
Category:English Class Failure
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Richard and Mortimer

My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him.
Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line.
"Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand.
"I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor.
"...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety."
"Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Satire
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Memes
Category:Shortpasta
Rick Sanchez

Rick Sanchez is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. He asks what I do. I say I loved him in Rick and Morty. He laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got his attention now. How many women voluntarily leave a conversation with Rick Sanchez? He touches his neck as he watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, he finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" he asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand him one of my little white ladies. He smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" he protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," he says, lighting his cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actor?" I ask.
"Science, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," he says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" he inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell him. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Memes
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta