Even More Jeff The Killer Spinoffs That Will Never Happen

The fourth part of "Jeff Spinoffs" saga. Don't forget to check out the previous three installations! And the sequels!
Jeff Drinks Ink 
 
Jeff Drinks Coke and Eats Mentos 
 
Jeff Drinks All The Tea In China 
 
Jeff Loses The Game 
 
Jeff vs. Hurricane Sandy 
 
Jeff Plays Golf 
 
Jeff Ties A Maiden To The Railroad Tracks
Hungry Hungry Jeff 
 
Jeff Inserts An Entire Marching Band Into His Ass 
 
Jeff Steals The Klopmann Diamond 
 
Jeff Plays Action 52 
 
Jeff Gets The Munchies 
 
Jeff Has An Existential Crisis 
 
Jeff Converts To Rastafarianism 
 
Jeff Catches Thumbtacks On His Eyes 
 
Jeff Gets A Pedicure 
 
Jeff Gets Drafted Into The Military 
 
Jeff Listens to Ziggy Stardust 
 
Jeff Becomes A Cowboy and Joins the Circus 
 
Jeff Goes To A Blood Drive 
 
Jeff learns Kung Fu 
 
Jeff Tries To Get His Drivers'License 
 
Jeff's Hot Flash 
 
Jeff vs. Ringworm 
 
Jeff vs. The Red Ring of Death 
 
Jeff vs. The Blue Screen of Death 
 
Jeff Takes Knockout Drops 
 
Jeff Bites His Nails 
 
Robojeff. Half man. Half machine. All serial killer. 
 
Jeff's Salt Lick 
 
Jeff Suffers A Panic Attack 
 
Jeff the Killer IN SPACE II: Electric Boogaloo 
 
Jeff Gets His Teeth Knocked Out 
 
Jeff Gets Gingivitis 
 
Jeff Gets Shot In The Kneecaps 
 
Jeff's Hand Gets Chopped Off And Replaced With A Hook
Jeff's Dick Gets Chopped Off And Replaced With A Hook
Jeff Becomes One Big Hook 
 
Jeff Loses His Favorite Knife 
 
Jeff Catches Smiledog's Fleas 
 
Jeff Gets Dragged Away By Wild Horses 
 
Jeff's Fancy New Boots 
 
Jeff Sits Around Watching TV All Day 
 
Jeff Goes To Qahog 
 
Jeff Becomes A Stand-Up Comedian 
 
Jeff Becomes A Ganguro (look it up) 
 
Jeff Re-Enacts Goatse 
 
Jeff Balances A Car On His Head 
 
Jeff Burns Chick Tracts 
 
Jeff hits BEN with giant Fists Of Graft (tm) 
 
Jeff's Beer Belly (or should I say, blood belly) 
 
Jeff's Daiperfur Fetish 
 
Jeff Spontenaously Floats Away 
 
Jeff Watches Helplessley As BEN Degenerates Into A Mess Of Garbled Polygons 
 
Jeff Forgets To Pay His Cable Bill 
 
Jeff The Killer Freezes Into A Jeff-Sicle 
 
Jeff Legally Changes His Name To Maximillian Danger 
 
Jeff Stuffs Grapes Up His Nostrils 
 
Jeff Gets A Pompadour 
 
Curse Of The Were-Jeff. 
Phase one: your skin turns white. Phase two: your eyelids dissapear. Phase three: you have an incredible urge to wear a white hoodie. Phase Four: your hair turns long, greasy and black. And the final phase: a long, smile-shaped scar appears on your mouth!
Jeff Humps Slenderman's Leg 
 
Jeff Gets Plastic Surgery 
 
Jeff Houses A Family Of Voles In His Hair 
 
Jeff At The Sauna 
 
Jeff Gets Shipwrecked 
 
Jeff vs. Rule 34 
 
Jeff Falls Down The Stairs 
 
Jeff Founds A Wiki 
 
Jeff Finds Out Smile Dog is a Transvestite Midget in a Costume 
 
Jeff Eats Moldy Bread 
 
Jeff Kills Dumbledore 
 
Jeff Goes Back In Time And Kills The Dinosaurs, Gets Zapped Dead By The Time Police 
 
Jeff Has Sex With a Pencil. 
 
Jeff vs The 12 Steps 
 
Jeff vs Scientology 
 
Jeff Makes Deviled Eggs 
 
Jeff Saltues His Shorts 
 
Jeff Wedgies Slenderman 
 
Jeff Commits Every Sin (Except for Lust Because He Couldn't Get Laid). 
 
Jeff Eats A Cat 
 
Jeff Can't Believe He Ate The Whole Thing 
 
Fractal Jeff 
 
Jeff VS 2012 (The Movie) 
 
Jeff Falls In Elephant Poop 
 
Jeff Grows A Tomato Garden 
 
Jeff Dies (Of Old Age) 
 
Jeff Gets Brainfreeze 
 
Jeff Whizzes On An Electric Fence 
 
Jeff Crosses The Streams 
 
Jeff Gets Hit By A Falling Piano 
 
Jeff Does Stuff 
 
Jeff Kicks The Can 
 
Jeff Likes Big Butts And He Cannot Lie 
 
Jeff Plays AD&D 
 
Jeff Makes A Killer Robot Shaped Like Himself Which Instantly Turns On Him 
 
Jeff Is Shaved Bald 
 
Jeff Hatches The Egg 
 
Jeff Pumps Iron...Iron Maidens That Is 
 
Jeff Paints Happy Little Trees 
 
Jeff Gets Strapped To A Tomahawk Missle 
 
Jeff The Quadruple Amputee (He'll bite yer legs off!) 
 
Jeff Needs Glasses 
 
Jeff's GIGA DRILL BREAKER! 
 
Jeff Makes Out With A Cyberman 
 
Jeff Finds A Gundam 
 
Jeff Is So Tough, He Stubbed His Toe While Watering His Spice Garden And Only Cried For Twenty Minutes 
 
Jeff Makes A Contract With Kyubey 
 
Jeff Lactates 
 
Jeff Attacks A Porcupine, Winds Up Covered In Quills 
 
Jeff's Chest Wig 
 
Jeff Trades In His Knife For A Naginata 
 
Jeff Goes To Starbucks 
 
Jeff Itches Really Bad 
 
Jeff vs. A Black Hole 
 
Jeff Milks A Goat 
 
Jeff Pissed In Your Popcorn 
 
Jeff Wears A Rainbow Clown Wig 
 
Jeff Mutates! 
 
Jeff Eats An Unbelievably Spicy Enchilada And Breathes Fire For Five Minutes 
 
Jeff Discovers The Portable Hole 
 
Jeff's Nosebleed 
 
Jeff Turns To Stone 
 
Tickle-Me-Jeff! Press his tummy and he murders your entire family! 
 
Jeff Enters A Pie-Eating Contest 
 
Guess What's In The Pouch Of Jeff's Hoodie? 
 
Jeff Goes Bobsledding 
 
Jeff's Fingers Turn Into Minitaure Jeffs 
 
Mr. J!
I pity da foo' who don't GO TO SLEEP 
 
Jeff Goes Go-Karting 
 
Jeff gets attacked by WEIRD MUMMY INSECTS! 
 
Jeff Becomes a Cheerleader 
 
Jeff The Janitor 
 
Jeff Attempts Auto-Liposuction 
 
Jeff the Panda 
 
Jeff Doesn't Forget to Bring a Towel. 
 
Jeff Pilots A Dalek 
 
Jeff's fangirls make out with his petrified corpse from Furbearingbrick's fucked-up dream
 
Jeff The Killer: The Pen &Paper RPG 
 
Jeff Takes Up Tap-Dancing 
 
Jeff Cleans Suicide Mouse Out Of His His Bellybutton 
 
Jeff Retains Water 
 
Jeff Gets A Sugar Rush 
 
Jeff Inhales Helium 
 
Jeff Gets The DT's 
 
Jeff Sheds His Skin 
 
Jeff In Heat 
 
Jeff's Regular Coffee Is Replaced With Folger's Crystals 
 
Jeff Bakes Happy Happy Into A Pie 
 
Jeff Churns Butter 
 
Jeff Kills Pirates With A Magic Whip 
 
Jeff buys a haunted N64 off of Ebay 
 
Jeff shops at the black market 
 
Jef gets a job at the supermarket and gets fired for spilling the eggs (he hates eggs) 
 
Jeff gets blocked for not updating the Article Listing and pouts 
 
Jeff gets a deep-tissue massage from Slendy 
 
Jeff gives himself an atomic wedgie 
 
Jeff Hates Santa 
 
Jeff Rides Through Town Naked On A Dappled Red Horse 
 
Jeff The Lardass.
GO. TO. BUTTER. 
 
Jeff The Killer: The Animated Series!
Aw, man. You know they totally butchered this in the dub. 
 
Jeff Wears Naugahyde 
 
Jeff Goes On Tinychat 
 
Jeff stumbles upon an abandoned shack and turns it into a bachelor's den 
 
Jeff is NOT the father 
 
Jeff's Facebook Account Got Hacked 
 
Jeff Murders Everyone Responsible For SOPA and PIPA 
 
Jeff's Eyebrows Jump Off His Face (wait, Jeff has eyebrows?!) 
 
Jeff's Hangover 
 
Jeff's Spiralling Depression
Jeff Takes Prozac 
 
Jeff's Gambling Addiction 
 
Jeff vs. The Thunderqueef 
 
Jeff Snorts Pixy Stix 
 
Jeff Is Tricked Into Looking At The Korean Screamer 
 
Jeff Creams His Pants 
 
Jeff Stomps Grapes 
 
Jeff says Hi to Kevin Federline 
 
Jeff Encounters A Metal Slime 
 
Jeff and the Giant Peach 
 
Jeff is Cold, Wet, and Miserable 
 
Slendy Tries To Get Jeff To Eat His Broccoli 
 
Jeff's Space Heater Electrocutes Him 
 
Jeff Whistles While He Works 
 
Jeff Pours Hot Wax Onto His Face 
 
Jeff Shrivels Up And Dies 
 
Jeff Takes The Fruit and Scoots 
 
Jeff Rapes An Entire Petting Zoo 
 
Jeff Plays With Paperclips 
 
Jeff The Killer Teaches Typing. Get a word wrong and you get a finger cut off. 
 
Jeff's Face Gets Pixellated 
 
Jeff vs. Cockroaches 
 
Jeff Grows An Extra Pair Of Arms (for extra stabbing) 
 
Jeff's Colonoscopy 
 
Jeff Jumps Off The Golden Gate Bridge 
 
Jeff Suffers From Micropenis 
 
Jeff Is Inflicted With A Gypsy Curse 
 
Jeff Rides A Unicycle While Juggling Bowling Pins And Smoking A Pipe 
 
Jeff Takes A Relaxing (blood)Bath 
 
Jeff vs. The Flies That Always Seem To Follow Him Around (seriously, he must REEK with the not bathing and the blood and all) 
 
Jeff Sprouts Antlers 
 
Jeff Gets Kicked In The Head By An Ostrich 
 
Jeff Goes Hang-Gliding 
 
Jeff Is Abducted By Aliens 
 
Jeff Gets Stuck In The Chimmney (just don't ask what he was doing there) 
 
Jeff Breaks Into Fort Knox 
 
Jeff Goes Window Shopping 
 
Jeff the Misunderstood Alien Ninja Slug. 
 
Jeff's Tragic Nutella Addiction
NOTE: The following three entries are based on a true story. I'm not mentioning the name of the perpetrator, but it pretty much went down like this.
Jeff Makes Death Threats To An Admin On His Blog Post, Then Gets Butthurt When Called On It.
Jeff Makes A Wiki Dedicated To Insulting The Admin Who Banned Him and Denies He Did It; Said Wiki Gets Deleted 5 Minutes Later
Jeff Gets Globally Banned From Wikia And Pouts
Jeff sees this page and weeps for the future of humanity. THEND!
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