Genshin Impact

Genshin Impact is an open-world adventure game by a Chinese company totally not trying to spy on you known as HoYoverse, formerly known as miHoYo, and also published by a company called COGNOSPHERE LTD, which used to be named HoYoverse too, and they still haven't explained why they have so many names. It was released in September 2020 with world acclaim, and has captured the hearts– and wallets– of more than fifty million players worldwide.
In Genshin Impact, players are transported to the fantastical world of Teyvat, where they must battle against an array of enemies, such as giant slimes, mischievous fairies, sentient vegetables, a cat-like archer with a penchant for fish, a cryogenic princess with a love for all things frozen, and a food-obsessed chef who can conjure up delicious dishes from thin air.
==History==
Genshin Impact was conceived by Chinese developer miHoYo COGNOSPHERE HoYoverse in 2019 after they realized the success of Legends of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. For a long time, it was available only under closed beta tests, under which there was only one region in the continent of Teyvat ready: Mondstadt. Quickly realizing that Teyvat's having only one region is a terrible idea, they decided to add their next region, Liyue, to the map. Genshin Impact was launched on 28 September 2020 after they realized that people stuck in the coronavirus pandemic needed to vacation somewhere. It was finally released on PauseStation5 on 28 April 2021. Inazuma was added on 21 July 2021 and Sumeru was added to the game on 24 August 2022 with more regions to come.
Then Fontaine got released the summer after Sumeru got added. And in September 2024, Natlan got added as well.
==Regions==
Genshin Impact has seven regions, of which only four are accessible so that you have to pay to unlock the rest. The game is free to play and free to win, but it requires sacrificing your wallet in order to get there.
The objective of the game is to light up the entire map so you can get enough primogems, then spend all your money trying to get all the characters in the game. You will have successfully won once you have no money and you are living on the streets begging for money. On the other hand, you will continue to live a prosperous life in the game.
====Mondstadt====
This is the region where you start the game. Based on the country of Germany, a majority of the characters there are German. Its ideal is freedom, which is what the Traveler wants to have. The element associated with the region is Anemo.
Mondstadt is famous for it's pigeons, alcoholics, and annoying bards. Things that players can do here include killing pigeons and terrorizing children, and getting knocked off cliffs.
====Liyue====
The second region in the game. Obviously based on the country of China (which is the developer's home country), its ideal is microtransactions contracts. Every time someone uses their money to buy something in Genshin, the region becomes more powerful.
====Inazuma====
Based on the country of Japan, this is where the Raiden lived most of her life. It is considered to be the most tense and dangerous region of all, because it has very harsh punishments. One such punishment is when Balls Baal exposes you for using any of your parent's credit cards, she will strike you with lightning and you will no longer be able to play it anymore unless you reinstall it or create a new account. Good luck on completing Act2.
Inazuma is home to a bunch of anime characters, who will suck money out of weebs' wallets faster than a vampire at a blood bank. This region is also where miHoYo made the best financial decision in their entire game, generating an extra 10 million dollars of gacha revenue by making Raiden pull a sword out of her breasts.
====Sumeru====
The "you're close to being finished but not really" region of the game. It introduces a new element, Dendro, which you really need to touch more of. 
Sumeru is divided into two regions. The eastern half is a lush forest based off the country of India, where a bunch of nerds invented computers and Internet. The western half is a barren desert inhabited by Jews who haven't invented banking yet.
If you thought the underground sections in Inazuma are bad, wait until you get here.
Home to the SINGULAR MOST ANNOYING QUEST IN THE GAME. THOSE STUPID MUSHROOMS CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES OFF I HOPE THE WITHERING GETS THEM
====Fontaine====
The region of water. It is supposed to be based on France, so expect lots of beheadings and shit. The element associated with this region was already added before Fontaine was incorporated in, so it's too obvious at this point for the other regions.
====Natlan====
Another addition after Fontaine. Based on Latin America Cultures, mixed altogether to bring mindblowing experience of graffiti adoration. Engaged in everlasting war– not only with Abyss, but also residents of tribes themselves (in form of Pilgrimage AKA Battle Royale). Best source of hot springs and ladies in your area.
And of course, monsters. You can even adopt one!
====Shezhnaya====
In motherland Shezhnaya, you don't pull on the gacha. Gacha pulls you.
====Khaen'riah====
What? You actually believe this? We don't talk about Khaen'riah. We also don't talk about what happened here neither (yet).
==Characters==
===Nowhere===
====Aether====
Aether, or the male Traveler is Link from The Legend of Zelda except he has lighter blond hair. He is Lumine's brother and gets promoted more on promos than his sister. A lot of players choose him, either because he sounds like Link or he gets more promos.
====Lumine====
Lumine is Aether's sister who actually doesn't look like a Zelda character. She wears a flower on her hair like as if it means something, which is supposedly her relationship with her brother. They're siblings since they've been born, in fact, they're actually twins. She has more fanarts than her brother, however.
====Paimon====
A young little specimen who was supposed to die at the very beginning of the game until the Traveler fishes her out to prevent her from drowning. Although she looks like a human infant, it’s later clarified that she's legally considered to be a balloon. Either way, she is probably a goddess, albeit an annoying one, akin to Zelda's Navi.
====Aloy====
Aloy actually doesn't come from Genshin Impact and is actually from a game called Horizon Zero Dawn. She's just there because of a collaboration between the developers of Genshin and Horizon Zero Dawn, although surprisingly she has her own special dish. If you logged in at a specific time you can get her for free without paying anything.
===Monstadt===
====Diluc====
Despite owning a winery, he doesn't like alcohol, ironically. He is also allegedly related to Kaeya to a certain extent.
====Jean====
Barbara's older sister. She has no disliked foods, which means she's a true foodie.
====Mona====
Lisa's partner in crime. Mona is fully aware that the Traveler came from another dimension. We don't know how though.
====Amber====
Basically she summons bunny versions of herself as an attack method. She is one of the three characters you can get in the start of the game.
====Barbara====
Jean's younger sister. Literally everyone likes her. She's likely your first Hydro character after you beat Venti's dragon friend.
====Bennett====
The only character whose birthday is on a leap day. However, like everyone else who has their birthday on a leap day, he'll celebrate on the 28th. Also luckiest character in game. 
====Fischl====
Her real name is Amy. She can also spawn her "butler" to attack enemies.
====Kaeya====
Diluc's alleged brother. You can also get him when you begin the game.
====Lisa====
Mona's partner in crime and one of three characters you can get when you begin the game.
====Noelle====
The maid of all maids who could've been a knight. You technically can't get her when you begin the game, but the first banner you see when you go gambling has her as your guaranteed pull, so she's essentially a character you get when you start the game.
====Razor====
One of the few characters in the game who's named after an object, despite being a wolf-human. So I hear you like sharp things...
====Sucrose====
An alchemist named after sugar. Despite that she's not hyperactive, but more rather a meek glasses-girl.
====Venti====
Fangirls lust after him because he's too sexy.
====Klee====
Mondstadt's most wanted terrorist since she was added in to the game.
====Diona====
Despite her height, she is still obligated to run a winery. But she's allergic to alcohol, so what did you expect?
====Albedo====
His origin is kinda like Frankenstein, but it's anime, so what did you expect?
====Rosaria====
Holy shit why does she look like a Friday Night Funkin' character?
====Eula====
The most Rule 34'd character from Mondstadt. Also nicknamed as "End-User License Agreement"-chan. Proof that even the so-called software terms can get Rule34'd.
====Mika====
We get it. He looks like Kagamine Len.
===Liyue===
====Keqing====
The spoiled brat of all the characters. Her hair is similar to cat ears so she could pretend to be a cat. Also likes shopping and overspending.
====Qiqi====
Known for that one emoji of her lying down. This emoji became prevalent during Genshin's first anniversary event which sucked so bad that their entire Discord server got flooded with it. Qiqi is but one of the numerous psyops created by God (or the Government, whichever one you worship) to lure out those diagnosed with fatal (stage4) anime addiction and keep them attached to their screens to keep them from unraveling the social fabric and creating a thousand-year kingdom, flowing with little girls and lotion.
Also known for ruining gacha whale's dreams when they pull her instead of (insert OP5 star character here).
====Beidou====
Arguably one of the less popular Liyue characters, even though she's the important character for you to get to Inazuma, but at least there's some fan art of her– right?
====Chongyun====
Nobody cares about him. Is there anything special about him?
====Ningguang====
All you could say is that she is from the skies above Liyue. Nothing else.
====Xiangling====
Remember when she trained Yaoyao? Well, she continues to pursue chef life; I bet Sanji from One Piece would fawn over her if they cook contest together (wait what?). She is autistic (not in a negative way but in a way it makes her cook insanely good).
====Xingqiu====
The most overlooked Genshin character, even more overlooked than Chongyun.
====Zhongli====
Like Venti, fangirls would freak out whenever his name got mentioned. Nicknamed "Daddy".
====Xinyan====
A musician who tries to make rock and roll great in Liyue again.
====Ganyu====
Of all the characters who originate in Liyue, she appears to be the most Rule34'd of them all. She's also one of the most Rule34'd Genshin characters in history. Canonically thicc.
====Xiao====
Literally means "small" in Chinese. Is one of those characters who didn't make it into the main game at first then joined in.
====Hu Tao====
The so-called secondary "mascot" of the game. Has once taken over the game on April Fools Day. She's a funeral director and commands ghosts to haunt enemies and bosses.
====Yanfei====
So I hear you like judges ...
====Shenhe====
The female version of Chongyun because she's also an exorcist.
====Yun Jin====
A woman who wears nothing but heavy makeup and performs operatic moves just to stun her enemies.
====Yelan====
A liar who actually works for Ningguang.
====Yaoyao====
A trainee under Xiangling. She farms radishes and then delivers them to Xiangling's restaurant. Also Yaoyao uses the radishes as weapons.
====Baizhu====
Remember when he was an NPC? Well he's not anymore.
====Xianyun====
Basically, Chongyun if he was female, had green hair and was tall. Oh yeah and if he was also a bird.
====Gaming====
It's not pronounced like "game" ...
===Inazuma===
====Kaedehara Kazuha====
The first character to have a real name should be the official name of the main character. An entire full name, with a first and last name.
====Kamisato Ayaka====
At first, you temporarily have to play as her. Well, with the money you got, you can now play as her permanently; her Cyro power is positively broken. She also has the same birthday as the game itself.
====Yoimiya====
Inazuma's most wanted terrorist, like Klee.
====Sayu====
Did you know that her English voice actress is a popular Twitch streamer?
====Raiden Shogun====
If you dare to mess with her, she will immediately destroy your save file. She likes to kill people, like her clone. Once she killed La Signora, peace was given to Inazuma. Not only that, but she has more Rule34 entries and is possibly the most Rule34'd character in Genshin. So don't think about it.
====Sangonomiya Kokomi====
She has the longest name of all the people in Inazuma. No one knows how, but hey, she did it.
====Thoma====
Is actually from Mondstadt.
====Arataki Itto====
A gang member who wears heavy eyeshadow. He can have 3 beans. But no more. He will die if he consumes more.
====Gorou====
Pretends to be a dog, similar to what Diona does except that he has the features of a dog.
====Yae Miko====
Just like Raiden Shogun, she is also Rule34'd. Basically she's an author, but she's also sexualized and gets paired with... you know. Also, don't even think about it.
====Kamisato Ayato====
According to the game's wiki, it mentions that his birthday is the latest. People seem to forget about his birthday before he got released, so... you monsters.
====Kuki Shinobu====
Is part of the Arataki gang and is also a ninja.
====Shikanoin Heizou====
A detective or something.
====Kirara====
The alleged bringer of luck. Also the real bringer of silliness because LOOK AT HER :3 :3 :3 :3 :3
====Chiori====
Also known as the Kanye West of Inazuma. But some people didn't know about her existence.
===Sumeru===
====Collei====
Previously she was in the game's manga but you can now play as her, even with the main quest featuring her illness of touching. One of her English voice line is even "DON'T TOUCH ME!".
====Tighnari====
Like Collei, he was in the game's manga. Except, his old English voice actor was a pedophile which shouldn't surprise you. His new English voice actor, on the other hand, will blurt out lines from the Diary of a Wimpy Kid film and book series like "zooey-mama!" so people won't get it.
====Dori====
The richest girl in all of Sumeru and is a spoiled brat. She can be easily mistaken for a boy sometimes, and has a genie-like appearance.
====Cyno====
Basically Anubis if he was in Genshin Impact.
====Candace====
Xinyan's Sumeru counterpart, also quite a bit of Ankha from Animal Crossing if she was in Genshin Impact.
====Nilou====
A dancer who also appears to be one of the two most Rule34'd characters from that region.
====Nahida====
The reason why everyone wants her is because of her special abilities and attacks. She's special for changing your game's cursor, but also she's one of two Rule34 characters from said region along with Nilou... WHY ARE THE POLICE HERE?
====Layla====
Sumeru's version of Mona.
====Wanderer====
Used to be in several places, as mentioned from his name, but you can name him any way you want after you unlock him. He is also the abandoned son of Raiden Shogun, also means he's from Inazuma and resents his birth place.
====Faruzan====
Holy shit is that Hatsune Miku?
====Alhaitham====
And the award for most hard-to-pronounce name goes to this guy.
====Dehya====
A lion girl who uses fire and a brawling desert dweller. Has a cool character design and story, but the opposite is true for playability.
====Kaveh====
He just wants revenge. That's all.
====Sethos====
This guy is basically the male version of Dehya if she had green eyes.
===Fontaine===
====Lynette====
Lyney's twin who appears to be a magical catgirl (Furry?!). The better of the three adopted kids of The Knave.
====Lyney====
While it's obvious that he is Lynette's twin, he is also a crossdresser.
====Freminet====
Lyney and Lynette's depressed sibling.
====Neuvillette====
Is also a dragon despite the fact that he's human.
====Wriothesley====
Ah shit, another name that's hard to pronounce, except its pronounced "rizzly"
====Furina====
Another special character where you're allowed to make her change her outfit's color scheme based on her alignment. However, it's also worth noting that she's the most Rule34'd character from Fontaine. (Basically every female Archons at this point...)
====Charlotte====
Looking at her wish artwork she appears to be not only a journalist, but a social media influencer too. She also looks like Megurine Luka if she had slightly shorter hair.
====Navia====
She is one of the female characters where fanboys love her. But then again, you seriously don't have a chance with her. Despite her young looking appearance, she's pretty tall.
====Clorinde====
This is what happens when you give Yanfei a purple color scheme and spawn her in Fontaine.
====Sigewinne====
This is what you get when you put Hanae from Blue Archive into the game without her halo and you age her down while you are dying her hair blue instead of purple.
====Emilie====
That one 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 NPC from the Liyue archon quest but not freaky. French, and most importantly, is playable. Works on smell of perfumes all the time.
===Natlan===
====Mauvika====
Her motorcycle is Koraidon from Pokemon Scarlet and Violent.
==== Mualani ====
A surfer who likes riding actual sharks as a surfboard.
==== Kinich ====
Basically Xiao if he had dark skin and if he came from Natlan.
==== Xilonen ====
She is basically another Dehya clone.
===Snezhnaya===
====Tartaglia====
Or was it Childe? Also, don't even think about it. DO NOT. Also forgot to mention that he was the first Snezhnaya originated character before that region was added.
====Arlecchino====
Known for appearing in two places at once, she is the personification of a penguin. Well, it's all penguins, though.
====La Signora====
Turned into pile of ashes, just like players hope to get her as playable character.
==== Timmie ====
Master of pigeons, the universe and everything. The ultimate boss of card game ready to wipe your ass for crimes against pigeons.
===Khaen'riah===
====Dainsleif====
I already feel bad for players who have to travel across the entire map just to level him up past level 20.
==See also==
*Blue Archive
*Anime chicks
*Can I borrow 5 bucks?
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