Jay The Killer VS Freddy Krueger

Hi! I’m Jay Whatever and I hope you guys remember me! It’s been a rough year for me, imprisoned at Anyplace Mental Hospital for my crimes and stuff! Who would think killing my own parents would have consequences? But that’s just a inconvenience! The real pain in the butt is all the crazy stuff that I have to deal with occasionally, now that I’m apparently part of the internet horror world! Sometimes it’s cool, sometimes it’s just tiresome, and sometimes it’s weird! This time I’ll talk about is when I realized not even my dreams were safe of diabolical interference! But let’s not get ahead of ourselves! It all started some day when I woke up from a good night of sleep, (or as good of a night of sleep as you can get while confined at the loony bin! And thank goodness for parentheses!) but the catch is that I didn’t actually wake up! It may be confusing, but I knew I was dreaming as I walked around my paddled room, simply because I felt light and dizzy and everything was softer and more colorful than it should! (Before you ask, I wasn’t just high! I know it sounds like that, but I swear I never touched drugs in my life!) Not to mention, the place was eerily empty, with no useless nurses to be seen! The creepiest part, however, was the subtle unnatural red lighting that tinged everything in sight! Then my hearth almost stopped when I heard his voice! “Welcome to dreamland, my pal!” I turned around, and I shit you not, there was a badly burnt man with razors for fingers and wearing a red and green sweater! He was pretty ugly! “Nice to meet you, Jay Whatever!” Now I was almost terrified, because the ugly razors guy not only was on my dream, but he even knew my name! “What the heck are you doing here? That’s my freaking dream, you loser! GET OUT!” He didn’t seem to be taking me seriously at all! He just smirked sinisterly, then pointed his razor fingers on my direction! “I only wanted to talk! I know you’ve been a naughty boy! So did I when I was alive! But I know I’ve become something bigger than you! The stuff nightmares are made of!” To be honest with you, I was getting chills just from hearing his voice, less alone looking at his heinous face! (Well, at least he HAD a face! That was already a improvement from the last guy!) “We’re kindred spirits, you’re saying? I can see it! Mutilated murderers and makers of mayhem! You came here to compliment me?” The bizarre creature of a man just laughed at me with contempt! “I don’t think so! I’m here to mock you, humiliate you, then painfully kill you, you little bastard!” (What’s up with horror villains and strong language anyways?) “Didn’t you say you only wanted to talk to me?” He just smirked evilly again, and I knew right then I shouldn’t trust a word out of that ugly burnt mouth of his! “Why would you want to hurt me? I don’t even know you!” “You didn’t know that random truck driver either! You know the one! The guy you killed on your way to your grandparents house! You didn’t even ask his name!” I vaguely remembered that! It’s probably wrote down in some of my earlier stories! “So what? He was nobody! I’m a dreaded killing machine!” There was a awkward silence before I heard more laughter! “You killed three people, you stupid boy! One of them just to make a point! That’s bad, but I did worse! Very worse indeed!” I can’t describe well what happened next, because it was just so surreal! The empty mental hospital around us just distorted and contorted as a eldritch shining consumed everything, and when I blinked, me and this horrible guy were standing at a very different, but similarly red tinged and eerily empty suburban street! “That’s my hometown Springwood! Here I slaughtered and butchered everyone I could get my hands on! Specially kids! Can you top that?” I was trembling from fear by this point! “Of course I can! I tried to kill my younger sister! And a squirrel! And a damn bear/tiger! And my old grandparents! And God knows who else!” But I knew deep inside it wasn’t enough! And my suspicions were confirmed when I heard that damned laughter again! “But you failed! Your supposed victims are all enjoying a nice night of sleep tonight while my victims are rotting away in some cemetery! Look, there’s some of them!” He pointed at some innocent little girls jumping rope on a random backyard! They were singing some kind of corrupted nursery rhyme! “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you! Three, four, better lock your door! Five, six, grab your crucifix! Seven, eight, gotta stay up late! Nine, ten, NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!” It was pretty creepy! Then everything went weird again! More distortions and bright light, and we were now inside some kind of terrifying boiler room! The three people I murdered, my parents and that random guy, were hanging from hooks in the ceiling! “Can you tell now WHO AM I?” So I started thinking! The guy was a horrifying child murderer who seemed to always come back and had turned into some kind of horror villain! So I had a good guess! “You’re that Purple Guy William?” I realized I had guessed wrong when he sneered at me unamused! “Do I seem purple to you? I don’t need some tacky rabbit suit to do what I do! Guess again! I’m the bastard son of a hundred maniacs! The master of nightmares and architect of your death! I AM FREDDY KRUEGER!” The air suddenly felt heavy as his hand full of deadly razors got closer to my face! “Please leave me alone! I already have to live with this ugly zit on my face! It was enough to drive me to murder! I don’t want you to make me even more disfigured than that!” For the first time since we first met, I’ve seen Freddy’s face contort in one expression of surprise and confusion! “Wait a moment! That’s your origin story? You become evil because of a fucking zit? You’re shitting me?” I nodded with a weak whimper! “Look, MY origin story involves rape and abuse and real tragedy! It ends with me burning alive! That’s why I’m a real villain and you’re just a joke!” I’ll admit it did kinda hurt my pride a little! “I’m a real villain too! I even have a scary catchphrase! ‘Never again will you fart while alive!’ What you think of that? I doubt you have a cool catchphrase like me!” Now his surprise and confusion had morphed into pure bewilderment! “What the fuck is that? That’s a laughable catchphrase! And just so you know, I don’t need one of them, because I’m scary enough without one!” I’ll reluctantly recognize that his logic made a sort of sense, but I wasn’t done! “And I bet you never had to deal with a little sibling! Well, I did and survived! My little sister Ginny/Janine has always been a jerk! She left her toys on the floor, she wanted me to watch her stupid ball games and she even farted! It was gross the frequency that she farted! I hate farts with a burning passion, and still I survived the experience, so I can say for sure I’m a tougher villain than you!” There was a very long awkward silence as Freddy just stared at me without anything to say! I think my brilliant reasoning was too much for him! It took long before he finally spoke! “Are you on drugs? I hope not! Drugs are a real nightmare, did you know?” “I’m not on drugs, you asshole! I’m just trying to explain why I’m not just some random teenager boy, but a scary serial killer! I even gained powers before, just to suddenly lose them! TWICE! What makes sense, right?” Freddy didn’t seem to agree! His perpetual stare was now accompanied by a frustrated scowl! “You’re serious? Can you get any more ridiculous?” “I don’t know! Do you want to find out?” Our old pal Freddy seemed about to have some kind of breakdown as he was getting in position to strike me! “Shut the fuck up! I’m finishing you off right now!” What followed was just sort of a miracle! I was expecting the blades to cut me up and for my life to fade away, when I randomly remembered my first time admiring myself at the mirror! I was very little back then, but that was the first time I felt truly happy, and I remembered clearly there was a rubber duck resting next to the sink that day! The second that random rubber duck came into mind, a actual physical rubber duck, identical to the one in my memory, manifested out of thin air and fallen between my feet! “What’s that?” I quickly realized it was MY dream after all, so therefore, my strongest thoughts and memories could physically manifest to protect and save me! Soon enough, I concentrate on something, or more precisely someone, I would never try to remember in normal circumstances, and without delay Ginny/Janine magically phased into existence! As the little pest ran amok in the hellish boiler room, oblivious to her parents bodies hanging above her head or the evil child killer snarling, I grabbed this opportunity to focus all my willpower on waking up from this literal nightmare! And fortunately it worked! (And not because I’m a Gary Stu, to be clear!) I was back in the real Anyplace Mental Hospital, away from Freddy Krueger and his boiler room and his dream powers! I not gonna lie, it was a close call, probably the closer I ever got to actually dying, even closer than my confrontation with SlenderMan! I can still see his red and green sweater when I close my eyes! And I’m not sure I’m ever sleeping well after that night! So I guess we all learned a lesson today! There’s always real monsters waiting out there in the world, not matter how ridiculous the world is! But I’m sure I’ll bounce back eventually, because nothing keeps me down for long! HAHAHA!
THE END?
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Dreams
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Wall of Text
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:Potty Humor
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:MARY SUE ALERT