nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Ass.avi

it all started with me taking a stroll with my friend. i found something strange on the floor. it was a disc. it was all dirty. i picked it up. my friend said "why are you picking up dirty things you cuck" "screw you" i said. "fuck you , you gay ass dirty ass pussy cuntfucking cocksucking cumlicking cuck" i started to cry and went home. i turned on my laptop and put in the disc. but before i played it, i started to watch some furry porn, and snail porn to calm myself down.
my mom caught me jerking off and she told me to get a life and that im a cuck. "its a movie" I said. after jerking off I clicked on whats on the disk. it was a file called "ass.avi" "yes more porn!" i thought to myself. but it didn't seem like porn when it started. after the black screen labeled "ass.avi" the video started with a man who seemed to be in his 20s in some boring ass room with dim litted lights. he was staring at the camera for 30 seconds with an expressionless face. then he turned around and pull his pants down. i liked where this was going. he pulled down and his underwear too and started to take a shit. i was turned on. after he took a shit, 15 seconds later a man came in.
he took a knife and started stabbing the shit. after stabbing it he stopped. then he proceed to stab the guy's ass. after stabbing it for some reason, there was no blood. the man literally took off his ass. he had no ass! it was just a flat thing. i felt bad for him. why did the guy had to backstab him? get it? anyways back to seriousness. the man started waving his fake ass around. then the video had static. the video cut to an animation of a stickfigure walking in a white screen hyperealistic hands came and started shaking the stickfigure and the hyperealistic hands pulled out the head and started to bounce it like a basketball. balls are fun but this was completely unrelated. but then it hit me. the stickfigure represented the man in his 20s and the hand represented the man in his 30s.
then after several seconds of bouncing the static came back and it went back to the 2 men. the fake ass was floating now and the two men were staring at the screen. i could hear the man with no ass saying something. after replaying it i found out that he said "i have to take a shit" "how can he take a shit with no ass?" i thought to myself. after that, the video went black with texts saying "no ands ifs or butts." after the video ended i found out that my mom was staring at the screen. "you're into some sick shit" "it was another movie mom!" i responded. after my mom left i shoved the disc up my ass. the video was never seen again.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:File Extensions
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Ass Specumetry

My brother won't stop calling my work "ass specumetry" and I don't know what to do.
I have been working in mass spectrometry for nearly 5 years. I take pride in my work and, with all due humility, I believe I have done more to advance the field than most others. However, this past weekend, my brother visited and would not stop denigrating my work.
"You still doing ass specumetry?" He said. I sat back, in shock. My profession is one that advances the frontiers of technology and gives physicians the bedrock information needed to save lives. I told him as much, and went on to describe my work in tandem mass tagging to multiplex up to 18 samples at once. Obviously, he would now see how essential my work was and would cease his distasteful comments.
"I multisex up to 18 bitches at once with tandem ass tapping". He replied, not even batting an eye to my exceptionally well-orated argument. I was now fuming. Not only had he not listened to a word I said, but he also used virulently sexist language. I am an ardent feminist and hope that a member of the finer sex would one day deign to speak to me. I told him that his language was hateful and that there was no such thing as tandem ass tapping. He looked at me, and pointedly asked me how I would know.
I spluttered, red in the face and unable to draw up a response. He knew that I had never done the deed, and am still as pure and virginal as my S-Trapped desalted peptide sample. Finally, I found my words and told him that I was too focused on my work. Me and my 300lb frame could have the pick of the ladies (notice how I said ladies instead of 'bitches', because I am a gentleman).
"Oh yeah?" he replied, clearly unconvinced "why don't you make a DIA method to get some pussy for your dick". Now I became truly enraged, not because of his insult but because of his semi-incomprehensible use of sacred mass spectrometry terminology.
Roaring as loud as the pump on my Thermo Orbitrap Exploris 480tm, I grabbed his head and slammed it into the wall harder than ions slamming into an HCD cell, hoping to sequence his skull fragments. The next few minutes were a blur, but when I came back to my senses, I realized that De Novo Sequencing was not actually possible for bone. I grabbed some MCP papers scattered across the floor and tried to soak up some of the blood but to no avail. In the end, all I could do was splatter some Solvent B on his body to remove my fingerprints and immediately dash out the door.
I have been on the run ever since. I managed to barter some platinum wire and an ion transfer tube for a plane ticket to the western Donbas. There, I hope to help the war effort with my cutting-edge LC-MS/MS knowledge. I'm currently on the plane now with a time-of-flight of 18 hours. I took this time to think over my actions and come to you for help. Even though I miss my brother, he was being intransigent and I don't regret my actions. AITA?
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Pointless Violence
Assassin's Creed Virus

So one day, i was playing some flash games on kongregate, when i got a pm, i went to check it out, it was from a user named 666ezio666altair666.
i thought nothing of the name at first and proceeded to read the pm, it was a link to a website call eziodemonassassin.
i shrugged this off as a troll or virus website and proceeded to play my games.
after a few hours and several flash games beaten, I went to log off my profile, when i closed out of firefox, i noticed something odd about my desktop background.
it was ezio holding a bloody axe.
I thought this was very odd, because i didn't remember changing my background, it used to be just a black background.
so the next day i logged back on, ezio was still there, but there was something different about him, he wal grinning, last time he wasnt grinning.
so i shrugged it off thinking i had a virus, so i did a scan with avast, no result.
i opened up firefox, and my browser took me straight to my message center on kongregate. which is odd because my homepage is facebook.
i look, i had 666 new messages all from 666ezio666altair666.
all were the same as last time, eziodemonassassin.
i couldnt help it, i clicked on the link, and it took me to the website.
as soon as i clicked it, the lights went out,
on the website there was an animation, it was ezio, no facial expression, holding the bloody axe, very soon, he started to grin.
then, he grew horns, and gouged his eyes out.
he still has than grin, he drops the axe, walk closer to the ?camera? I dont know what was recording it, but he got closer.
when it was pretty much just his face on the screen, the light came back on, i feel something on my foot, and it's a small axe covered in blood.
my heart sank, i tryed to close out of the browser, but it wasnt doing anything, soon my screen started to go into like a strobe effect, black-ezio demon face-black ezio demon face.
at this point i was about ready too piss my pants.
but then, i got a little bit of hope, the animation started going in reverse.
pretty soon it was jsut ezio standing there again, no expression, i try to go to kongregate again, this time it let me.
all of my messages were gone, it doestn show any sings that ive been to that website, or that that player that sent me the pm, ever made an account.
but i know it wasn't a dream, because, when i clsoed out of my browser, my heart sank.
ezio, eyes gouged out.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Old Shit
Assholes

so i was playing ded risieng 3 when half way through the game the main protagonist turned and looked at me and said why do you torture me?! i flipped off the screen and threw a chair at the TV breaking it because i did not want to hear his bullshit but then i realised that i cant play sanic 06 and yelled i called the repair guy and he said that he was on his way i heard someone ring my door bell and it was the repair guys friend he said that the repair guy died two weeks ago i called him a lying bitch and stuffed him in my dish washer i was pretty hungry so i opened the freezer to get a pizza but there in the freezer was some asshat with pale skin and no eyes he had no teeth and ah upside down head he said im cold but i put the fucker in his place i got the pizza and put it in the oven when it was done some bitch carved your next into it i ate it but when i was done i heard footsteps upstairs i was so sick of everyones shit that i ran upstairs and looked in the closet and saw a man with a white face a smile was carved into his face i was so pissed at him so i tore him in half and feed him to my chickens i heard a knock on my door and saw a kid on my door step he said do you want to play? i said no moron and kicked him in the jaw i realised that i left my bike in the woods so i put the guy who was still alive in the trash
all the trees in the woods were dead but i did not care i just wanted my bike i saw a man with a hat and a suit he said hey kiddo you must be lost follow me i said fuck off and broke his arm and made him eat dog shit i found my bike but a tall man with no face was next to it i beat him down and took my bike on my way home i saw some guys around a fire they were wearing robes and chanting i kicked them all in the balls and sat down to eat a sandwich but then i realised that i had never had a bike.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
Assumptions

Mr. Charrie woke up one morning and went downstairs. His wife, Mrs. Charrie was still asleep. But he knew that. Mr. Charrie was smiling awfully brightly today. He waltzed into the kitchen, and grabbed a knife, and fork. We went upsiars and said "Good morning Alice!" Alice was Mrs. Charrie's first name. Mrs. Charrie woke up and rubbed her dreary eyes. "I'm gonna make breakfast, but I forgot how to hold a knife." Her husband said. "Here, I'll make breakfast." Mrs. Charrie replied. She got up, and made breakfast. Then nothing scary happened ever. EVER.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Shortpasta
Asterixxx and Obelixxx

I wanted to buy books and I saw Asterix comics. They were all 1 cent. I bought all and it's name was Asterixxx and Obelixxx. I was confused, but I thought that it was just a printing glitch.
When I opened it, I noticed that the text was blood red and the pictures were 3d and in much higher quality. I thought that they just used higher technology and used another drawing style.
Asterix and Obelix went to Getafix to get their magic potion. He said: "I'm missing one ingredient for the xxx potion. You already know what to do." They went to the romans and Asterix shot all but one. Obelix took him and ripped his genitals out. Then he ripped apart his body at his legs and crushed his skull. They went back to the village and Asterix gave Getafix the genitals and the crushed brain of the roman.
He put it in his pot and the potion turned blood red. Asterix and Obelix drank the potion and they turned to giant purple PATRIXXX versions of themself.
Miraculix said "Now you became Asterixxx and Obelixxx again, do this task: I'm tired of the romans. Kill them all. They went to Rome and crushed people by throwing houses at them. Caesar went to them and said "Why the fuck are you doing this?" They took out his intestine and whipped him with it. His skin and bones ripped and he became a bloody mess. Asterixxx and Obelixxx ate his corpse and build a nuke. They nuked the roman empire with it. But the nuke sounded like it had no reason.
I was terrified. But I thought it was just a minor glitch. Could this comic be the work of... the Illuminati?
I googled if that really happened. But I found a card... and the area of the former roman empire was just... missing. There was no wasteland or black area. The bulk of Europa was just... missing. Everything was gone. Italia, Germany, almost everything. Even the pope! I searched in google the word "pope" and got 0 results. All these things never existed, I just hallucinated them. Or did I?
Then EVIL PATRIXXX appeared through my window. "I was the pope all along! 1 cent is not enough for my comics!"
Category:Trollpasta
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:Beings
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Asylum Turmoil

I was a huge fan of a game back in the day. The game was called "Asylum Turmoil." The aim of the game was to survive in an asylum for as long as possible in each level. 
I was doing some spring cleaning when I found the old dusty cartridge of Asylum Turmoil. I started to play it for nostalgia reasons. It brought back so much memories. I finished it before. Level after level was good. But then I finished the game. At the end, my character picked up a note. Which was very weird because I never remembered this happening before. I just wrote it off as not remembering things as I hadn't played the game in a very long time. On the note there were co-ordinates. I decided to follow them as I had no time on my hands. When I was driving to the place using my anime coloured GPS. Everything around me started to get more and more sinister.
I kept going for my favourite game... That was a mistake.
I finally arrived at the place. To me it looked quite old, evil and sinister! It was an asylum. Just like the one in the game. There were things vandalised and graffiti-ed all over the place. Swastikas on the door. Faces painted on the walls, which I could swear were looking at me and blinking. The cheeky bastards. I thought I would take the little bitches out. But I didn't want to get sidetracked from the pasta. 
I entered the asylum and it looked horrible. I looked up. I saw spiderman. But this wasn't the spiderman you grew up with on tv and with the comics. It was slender. You could see rips in it's skin revealing it's rotten flesh. There was blood dripping from it's spider-like mouth revealing. A heart carved on it's chest with the words "Japanian love" carved into it. Blood was dripping from that too and it had three black eyes. I tried running. But it got me by the leg. As it was pulling me into the anime meme filled darkness, I lost all hope. But then I heard a loud bang. There was a bullet hole through spiderman's head.
I looked the other way. A man held a pistol. He had beige and brown striped shirt a quiff and a big smile on his face. He looked at me and said "Daddy boy's here." 
I just remember everything going black then. I don't know if he shot me or if I died another way or if I'm in a coma. I don't even know if I ever wrote this pasta. I'm still waiting too wake up...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Well, that was pointless.
At Home

You're sitting at home, on the computer, after a long day at school, like you always do.
You check the clock on your computer. It's 9:00 P.M, and your parents are probably asleep upstairs like always. You hear a sharp sound of a TV turing on, and you know it's your sister watching "Doctor Who", or playing on the Wii like she does every night. You decide to check your Facebook status out of pure habit, and see you have a message on your wall. You begin to read.
"Your mom and I are so proud of you! You're growing up so fast. We just want to thank you again for watching the house while we stay at the Disney Land resort with your little sister! Hope you're having fun!"
You think to yourself, "Oh yeah, I forgot they were out."
You then hear something click. As you hear the sound of the television turing off upstairs, you freeze like a statue on your tracks. Your blood runs cold. You begin hear the footsteps of someone coming down from the stairs behind you.
The silence after the last footstep leaves you choking with your eyes wide with panic. You hold your breath, daring not even to glare to the right of you. All you can do is scream in your head, and pray that the silence never breaks.
All you do is pray for the silence.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
At the End of the Hall

At the end of the hall
There's a little red door
That you've never walked by
Or seen ever before
And a tiny little skull
Painted right on the knob
And it leads to the attic
That's the Home of the Slob
And the Slob is an old old man in his thirties
Counting feathers that were clean But since have gone dirty
And the hot pocket soup
That he keeps in his jars
Hasn't gone bad for months
Cause its oiled by Cars
And the songs that he sings
To the family below
That they think is the radio
From neighbors next do'
Is about one by one
How he'll get them all soon
When the little skull rotates
And he leaves
The room
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Morons Attempting Poetry
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Atheism Copypasta

Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us.
That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th*ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there as well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth!
Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Memes
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Atheist Belief Copypasta

I may be an Atheist, but I believe in Santa. Unlike God, Santa leaves tangible evidence of his existence behind. I'd like to see God leave a present or coal or something. Can't do it, the nonexistent weakling/ I'm more scared of punishment from Santa than I am of punishment from God, given how God is only able to offer a weak promise of some vague uncertain afterlife, whereas Santa offers physical rewards in the real world.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Atlas Earth: The hidden truth

Hello, I know you are aware by now about this app called Atlas Earth, where you buy land in the virtual world, or simply the metaverse. You probably saw the cringy ad floating around the internet, alongside the edits, memes, even a account was dedicated to this fail of an ad. But a thing that many don't know, or even talked about, is the horrors behind this app.
It all started when I was chilling at home, at night, browsing Twitter, with a glass of water next to my desk. I stumbled upon the infamous ad and curiosity kicked in:
"Maybe I should download this app, just for shit and giggles" I said to myself. And so I did.
I couldn't find the app anywhere of Google playstore, so I just downloaded it from a sketchy website, not knowing what will happen once I open it. To my surprise, the app downloaded in a second, which made me even more curious.
"I better not installed some kind of virus" I said to myself again.''
The app booted up with it's logo in a blue background, until cutting to pitch black, where I saw something so horrific, so disgusting, that I couldn't not believe it.
It was my face.
After that I heard a mysterious voice coming:
"Greetings, friend"
Until revealing the image of the guy from the ad. But he wasn't like how would you saw him from the video. His sclera was black, and his pupils were bloody red. Blood was coming from his nose and mouth. And he didn't looked happy.
"What the?" Said it in my mind
"I finally reached someone...after so long...of being locked in this messy code and shitty design. Now I can spread this message with you. This app is way more than a scam, it is a ritual... and-"
Without finishing his sentence, my phone, and the lights of my room shutdown. During that time, I swear that I saw a figure in the room, looking abnormally tall. After 10 seconds, the lights turned on. I restarted my phone and saw that the app was gone.
Now you know the secret. Sort of.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta