AoStH: Episode 96

Fuck Sonic, man. FUCK him.
I loved Sonic like a brother, man. No, I loved him like he was my damn son. Now I don't want to see his face again. Want me to tell you about the shitty day that destroyed any ounce of love I had for Sonic?
No? Too bad. I'm going to tell you anyway. Eat shit.
It began on the Summer of 2022. I was 18 at the time. I was looking around the Walmart for some shitty movies or shows. While looking, one specific DVD caught my eye. The case had a white paper with poorly drawn versions of Sonic and Tails. Above them were words. They looked like they were written by a damn CHILD, but they were readable. They read:
"AOSTH EP. 96"
What. The. Shit.
Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog had only 65 episodes(we don't fucking talk about episode 66.). Was this just some shitty reboot, or was I in some horrible lost episode creepypasta? Only one way to find out, I thought. I checked the back of the case.
Jesus fucking lord.
So many cliches. Blood covered the back of the case, there was a goddamn pentagram on it, and I swear to GOD, I saw the number "666" in the center.
That confirmed it. I was stuck in a lost episode creepypasta. The only way out of it? Watch the episode. Desperate to escape, I quickly grabbed the DVD and ran to the checkout. The cashier looked at the case for a solid 5 seconds until he gave it back to me and said "This isn't for sale. I don't even know how the fuck it got in here."
SHIT.
When he gave me the DVD, I thought maybe that this wasn't the episode I was destined to witness. I went to put it back...
I couldn't let go of the DVD. I tried throwing it and my fucking hand went with the DVD. After it hit the floor as I screamed in pain, that shit came flying back to me like a boomerang. Suddenly my arm reattached itself...Still holding the DVD. Maybe this was the episode I was supposed to watch. But it isn't for sale...Oh god fuckin dammit. I had to steal it. I hid it in my pocket and tried to walk out of the store. However, the moment I walked out, the alarms rang.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck, OH FUCK!" I screamed as I ran to my car. The cashier broke the doors open and screamed "I FUCKING TOLD YOU IT WASN'T FOR SALE!" as he called the cops. I had to act fast. I did NOT want to be stuck in a lost episode creepypasta forever. I looked to my right...There was a gun. I picked it up. One bullet. I pointed it at the cashier, who was busy trying to figure out what the number for the cops was. Quickly, I shot him, and the bullet went right through his head. I needed to get out of there quickly. So, with the DVD still in my hand, I drove all the way back home. Sure, it was difficult, considering that a literal DVD was stuck on my hand, but I managed to get away with it with little injuries.
I went to my DVD player, and I could finally open the DVD. I then put the disc inside of the player and was immediately sent flying towards my couch. Felt a little pain, but it didn't matter. It was time to get this BULLSHIT over with.
The normal intro for AoStH began to play. At least one good thing could come out of this hellhole made just for me.
The episode began with a black screen. The title of the episode read "DEATH IS FUN" or some shit. It was written by "SATAN" and "DEATH". Good LORD, how fucking awful could this be? After that shit faded away into nothing, the black screen faded to show Tails sitting on a bench, smoking. I thought he was eight or something! Who the hell gave him a cigarette?! Sonic rushed towards Tails. "Why the fuck are you smoking, Tails?! I thought I told you that shit's bad for you!" He said. "shut up and kys" Tails responded. Sonic's face now had an expression of pure anger. "Well, FUCK YOU TOO!" Sonic said as he walked away from Tails while still facing him and giving him the middle finger with both hands. I laughed, as this episode seemed a little entertaining to me. THIS was supposed to be the lost episode creepypasta I was stuck in?
It cut to Sonic in a familiar looking room. "That fucker thinks he can ignore my advice? I'm basically his father figure! He can't just ignore me like that!" He said. Soon, Sonic pulled out...A desert eagle?! Although it wasn't in the style of the cartoon, it was a realistic PNG of a desert eagle! "That asshole will regret the day he fucked with Sonic the Hedgehog." After he said that, I saw Robotnik in all his glory. Now I knew where this room was, it was Robotnik's fortress! "Um, excuse me, what the actual FUCK arrre you doing in my fortress?" Robotnik asked.
"None of your goddamn business." Sonic said as he turned to Robotnik. "Is...is that a fucking gun?!" Robotnik asked. "No shit, sherlock." Sonic said as he pointed the gun at Robotnik. Robotnik suddenly became PISSED at Sonic. He pulled a communication device out of his pocket and screamed "SCRATCH! GRRROUNDER! COCONUTS! GET IN HERE RRRIGHT FUCKING NOW!"
Suddenly, the robots Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts entered the room. They were holding several torture devices that looked like they were built specifically for Sonic. "Holy shit, they're gonna fight!" I yelled.
After two seconds, Sonic and the robots lunged at each other. A giant cloud covered the scene, and I could see the legs of the characters sometimes. Once the cloud disappeared, Robotnik gasped in shock. All his robots...They were fucking dead. Scratch had all his feathers plucked off, Grounder was just mutilated, and Coconuts had a banana shoved down his throat.
Sonic was at the center of it all, covered in oil. "Ugh, fucking disgusting." He said as he shook the oil off. He pointed the gun at Robotnik. "What...the fuck." Robotnik said as he backed away from Sonic.
"Suck it, Egghead." Sonic said as he pulled the trigger. Robotnik fell to the floor and Sonic ran outside.
Why did Sonic call Robotnik "Egghead"?? He wasn't called Eggman until Sonic Adventure...Unless Sonic Adventure released before AoStH and I'm just really fucking dumb.
It cut to Sonic outside of the fortress. "Fuck. One bullet. I can't do shit with this." He said. It seemed like Sonic quickly remembered that Tails was practically immortal. "Unless...I hit him where it REALLY hurts." It cut to a closeup of Sonic's face with the gun covering the right half of the screen.
"I'm coming for your little rings, motherfucker." Sonic said. The screen cut to black. Oh god...Was Sonic going to shoot Tails'...
After 5 seconds, it cut to Tails walking across the street, continuing to smoke. After ten seconds of this, Tails stopped as Sonic shouted "END OF THE LINE!" Tails turned to Sonic, who pointed the desert eagle at Tails. "Oh great. You again." Tails said. "Shut the fuck up." Sonic said.
Tails: "What did you just say?"
Sonic: "You heard me. Shut the fuck up."
Tails got on all fours. "Do you understand me, you BASTARD?!" Sonic said as his finger got closer to pulling the trigger. "If I wanted to, I would cut off BOTH of your tails and then NAIL them to my door! I hate you. You're a piece of SHIT. Go on. KILL ME. DO IT YOU COWARD!!" Once Sonic yelled this, Tails leaped towards Sonic. Sonic suddenly pointed the gun at Tails' crotch and pulled the trigger. Tails fell back. "AUUUGHHH!! MY FUCKING BALLS!!" He screamed as he hit the ground. He began bleeding hyper-realistic blood. All interest I had for the story immediately disappeared. Sonic stood over Tails. "Can't do shit to me now, can you?" He said. As Tails bled out, he managed to cough up the words:
"fuck...you..."
Tails took his last breath and then died.
Sonic looked at me. "You did this, you little shit. Why the fuck did you watch this episode?! I hate you so much. Rot in hell." He jumped at the screen and the episode ended with a "NO SIGNAL" screen.
What...the fuck...did I just watch.
Was that some edgy fanfiction or a shitty attempt at horror!? I was so confused. But none of that mattered, because I was free now. I watched the entire episode from start to finish. I was no longer trapped in a lost episode creepypasta. But then I received a strange email from an unknown sender. As I read it, discomfort filled my body.
"i'm coming for you in 5 days. fuck you
-sonic the hedgehog"
Well, shit.
Five days later, Sonic broke my door down and shot me in the balls. Then I, too, died of blood loss. Oh yeah also I'm writing this from hell. What the fuck do you mean that doesn't make sense?!
What's that? "How the fuck do you have a computer in hell"?
...
Fuck you, I'm not explaining that.
Anyways I'm going back to being tormented by Sonic the Hedgehog. Bye.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Sonic
Category:Excessive Profanity
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.