Ohio

OhioThe absolutely real flag of Ohio State.	OhioThe absolutely real flag of Ohio State.
Capital: 	The Horseshoe
Government: 	Democracy, I hope
State Flower: 	Football
State Anthem: 	Only in Ohio
Official languages: 	English, Midwesterner, Simlish
Penisal state of most citizens 	Circumcised
State bird: 	Buckeye
State fish: 	Pigskin
State food: 	Corn
State motto: 	"With God, all things are possible."DISCLAIMER: This is a totally generic and secular statement, (because there are absolutely no people who don't believe in a God) created by the government of Ohio. Batteries not included. Each set sold separately. Base plates and background models not included. these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to cure, treat or prevent any disease. This ad is sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends and Nord VPN.
Nickname: 	The Buckeye State, the Trashcan, Pothole Land
Currency: 	Dollars and old birthday cards
Principal imports: 	Amazing college football players, white people, cars, Jake Paul, Logan Paul, Team 10, Pennsylvanians
Principal exports: 	NFL players that are better than their own people, black people, old people, boats, factory jobs
Climate: 	Cold as Hell or hot as Hell – either way, it's Hell.
AKA: 	Apparently when you enter Ohio, there's no way of getting out!
Ohio is known for being a completely normal state of 'merica and the leader of the free world. Ohio was discovered first by the people who live way out into the wild west and their skin color was red. However, we Americans were bitter and selfish.Because we didn't bring enough sunscreen. We said we found the land first, but then again we did find it. Not those tongue-twisting weird aliens. I wondered how we got the land from them even if we couldn't understand their language! Well... on with Ohio. George Washington kicked those Aliens out of what is now known as Ohio. Ohio's state boundaries are weird as they don't even make a triangle or rectangle like Pennsylvania. It's more of a dysfunctional triangle. (Maybe a drunk person drew it– that's why they had parties!) Some people have found Wendy's chicken nuggets shaped like the state before their parents think it's a janky-ass heart.
	
==Dangers==
Ohio is largely considered the real-life equivalent of The Backrooms. The state is filled with many dangerous "entities", among the which are included an extremely lethal species known as GET OFF MY LAWN'ers. Once you have entered Ohio there is no way to exit. Some common survival tips are to never diss Ohio State, as that will lead to immediate death from 60 year old Ohioan residents, and to also just stay the fuck out. The only safe place in Ohio is the BSA's Survival Bunker Alpha in the northwest of the state. Most who enter Ohio are doomed to death or indoctrination into a hound of GET OF MY LAWN'er. Ohio is the third most dangerous place in the world, being only followed by both Detroit and New York. If you're a 9 year old with no humor, Ohio is the state where the strangest, most brainrot things happen.
==Climate==
Since Ohio is up near a lake, it's almost always cold and then hot. People have complained about how cold it is that they want to move to Florida but they can't. In the winters the temperatures are usually ten to fifteen degrees, sometimes even below that. On the other hand, we do hear that Minnesota is much colder. In the summers, the temperatures becomes fucking Florida. You're still fucked though, because it's colder than a well digger's ass outside 85% of the year. Have fun being cold here, or don't. It does get hot sometimes, and you burn your fucking ass off. It then hails the next hour. One day in June, it went from -22°F to 66°F in one hour. The sky is also a constant shade of gray– most Ohioans think that it's what the sky is supposed to look like!
==People==
The people in Ohio are such nice people, referred to as "Ohioans", ranking #1 to become the Nicest State of the USA. Go there and ask anybody for directions to Dunkin Donuts and they will tell you how to go there. If you are a shy guy, then quickly text a friend of yours who lives in Ohio. No matter what type of person you talk to, they will still help you, even if they're autistic. More people are diagnosed with autism here more than any other state. Is that okay? No. Ohio is also the most profane state as verified by an old-ass image I found online that was probably made in 2012. There are several reasons why people hate Ohio, and this is one of them.
==Transportation==
The people of Ohio have a choice they have to make. They can either drive a car, walk on foot, ride a bicycle, or take the subway (the only one is in the city of Cleveland). That's the only way to get around in Ohio. You'll just have to make up for the bad drivers who will either cut you off at the last minute or speed through that red light. Not to mention that it's the state with the highest amount of traffic accidents. Potholes are imminent and dangerous. If you're planning on taking a plane ride, straight from the heart!
==Location==
Ohio is located in the Northsouth part of the Middle-Eastern United States. It borders Megatexas to the west, Big Lake to the North, nothing particularly noteworthy to the east and south, and Turbohio to the above. Ohio can be accessed by communing with the young and hip' gods. Communing with elder, old, or forgotten gods will normally get one sent to the quarter-zone, except if your name is shorter that 14 characters and starts with the letter "S" "Z" or "&". 
City 	Population 	Notes
Cleveland 	790,000 	Home of many things nobody cares about, but 🎶at least we're not Detroit!🎶
Akron 	Less than Cleveland 	This is a city? Are you serious?
Cincinnati	100 	People here must be fans of the Bengals.
Columbus 	Almost a million 	The Indianapolis of Ohio. It's infamous for having so many potholes.
Youngstown	43 	They have some old rusty steel factories haunted by ghosts. Only true-blue Ohioans dare to set foot there.
Canton 	Few 	Akron's strange southern neighbor
Hartville 	7 	They're run by a bunch of autistic bakers who make really good pies. That's it. their bakeries are actually pretty awesome.
Mansfield 	Less than 49,999 and dropping by the minute	"The Hub of Ohio": Everything goes around it. Not the end of the world, but you can see it from there. Look up, you're on the edge of the world.
Massillon 	Even fewer than Canton 	Canton's gay twin and home of an Uncyclopedian. Can you guess who?
Navarre 	A nillion 	More or less. Nothing equal.
Toledo 	68 	Muslims galore!
Sandusky 	25,000 	Amusement park tourist trap – people go there only because of Cedar Point.
Piqua 	20,000 	Home of Captain Underpants
Loveland 	12,000 	Best known for sightings of a large humanoid frog ... what?
Urbana 	14,000 	Shitty schools. Some good people, you'll be lucky to find any.
Dayton 	50,000 	Skyscrapers and bridges and rivers and plazas and apartments and universities and water and things and stuff. Everything seems to be redundant there. And Mexican neighbors who live only to smoke weed.
Zanesville	A horse 	Pottery. Just pottery.
Dayton 2.0	30 	A lack of everything the original Dayton had.
Sparta 	300 	THIS ... IS ... SPARTA!
Beachwood 	10+ 	Jewish elderly people, grayer than normal. Boring.
Norton 	Half of Massillon 	Supposedly named after the Emperor of America ... or some random merchant.
Dayton 3.0	0.5 	We found half a body inside a dumpster; technically, that counts as a part of the total population.
==Attractions==
There is really nothing really good to see in Ohio. I guess if you like football you can check out the Pro Football Hall Of Shame or something like that. there's also Cedar Point up by the lake. That's fun. Other than that, there is nothing beautiful to see in Ohio. There's just corn, corn, grass, other plants, more corn– you get the idea. The people in Ohio are quite attractive though, especially the ladies. A lot of gay teenagers are entertaining if you can find them.
==In popular culture==
Ohio has recently become a popular internet meme between members of Generation Alpha, as well as late Zoomers. As such, it has been implemented into the early-2020s internet-speak, along other amazing words such as skibidi, gyatt, rizz and sus.
The phrase "only in Ohio" represents a situation so ridiculous, one could only imagine such things happening in Ohio- because, as everyone knows, Ohio is the place where the most bizarre and bat fuck insane things happen.Just like in Florida. Or California. Or Texas. Or Alabama. Or any other state from the United States.
==Jokes, trivia and miscellany==
*What's round on the ends and high in the middle? "oHIo!"
*Did you know that in Ohio it is illegal to eat a donut while walking backwards?
*Ohio capitalized looks like a tractor;This, however, does not happen when written in all caps (OHIO). this is good because it helps with the corn.
*Corn originated in Ohio.
*Not even God Himself can control Ohio.
*Prisons in Ohio serve corn and cornbread. And also weed.
*I killed a man back in the 80s because he fucked my wife.
*Akron was the first city to use police cars!
*Ohio is the leading producer of corn.
*Ohio is the leading producer of corn.
*Ohio is the leading producer of corn.
*Alabama is not the leading producer of corn.
==See also==
*Ohio State University
*Ohio University
==Notes==
 
Category:Hell
Category:Why everyone hates Americans
Category:Places that think they are countries
Category:Bad Places To Go For Holidays
Category:Internet memes
Category:Internet-speak
Category:Tedious pop culture references
Category:Brainrot
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zh:俄亥俄州