nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Ballpoint pen

Ballpoint Pens have a long history, saturated with constant lifestyle changes and victories over adversity. The original intention of the Ballpoint Pen, when first created by its inventor, Sir Elton John, on the 7th of December, 1876, was to create a penis-like writing device. It was given a name that literally described its purpose (a then unheard of practice): A Ball-Point Ink-Filled Circumcizer. When a player would hit the "ball" (read: stone) with their "bat" (read: Club), sometimes, for some unexplicable reason, they would be penalized with a "point". 
The Emperor (now renamed Umpire) would then use their Ball-Point Ink-Filled Circumcizer and unmercifully circumcize the offender, giving them a rather large wound that bled wonderful colors such as black and blue, due to the ink. However, when the obnoxious Soccer Moms heard of this practice, they immediately petitioned for a removal of Ball-Point Stabbers from the game. In an effort to keep their use, Sir Elton John quickly reissued his patent for the item under the name of a "Ball-Point Penis", knowing that Soccer Moms would not dare speak such a phallic term. Over years of innate and growing laziness, its name has slowly shortened to its current form, the Ballpoint Pen, and due to a lack of interest in the archaic game of Baseball, has gained popular use as a writing utensil.
==BICs and World War II==
Large scale production of Ball-Point Ink-Filled Circumcizers began in Berlin in 1939, shortly after famous Baseball player Roger Maris single-handedly won the World Series for the New York Yankees against the Berlin Nazis. Heartbroken and filled with rage, the Nazis launched a series of attacks on various countries throughout the world, the first of which included Poland (Later not-forgotten by President George W. Bush in a debate against candidate John Kerry). To prove their point, they created the Ball-Point Ink-Filled Circumcizer company, or BIC, to produce their weapons of choice. They then proceeded to launch BICs "for great justice", in what they referred to as a BICRushKeKeKe, which, due to the usual Japanese to English translation errors, is now referred to by unintelligent historians as a Blitzkrieg. This series of "uncalled for" attacks inevitably and inexorably began what is now referred to as World War II.
==Ballpoint Pens in Possibly, but Unlikely, Relevant Subjects==
* The state symbol of North Dakota is the Ballpoint Pen.
* Ballpoint Pens have a similar shape to that of the Alligator.
* there's probably a device somewhere in the world that's used for Cock and ball torture shaped like a Ballpoint pen.
==Ballpoint Pens in Pop Culture==
* Ballpoint Pens are commonly seen in major motion pictures, including the very popular Wild Wild West and Goodburger.
* Many popular authors, such as Douglas Adams and Bill Clinton, write things with Ballpoint Pens.
Category:Inventions
Category:Literature
Category:Technology
hu:Golyóstoll
zh:原子笔
Ban Ki Moon

Ban Ki Moon (Ban - Yee - Boom, also Monkey Boone, Sailor Ban Ki Moon or "Button" to his friends) is a world famous terrorist, singer and United Nations leader and spiritual guru to Steve Cram the former middle distance runner and occasional egg and spoon competitor. He is currently Secretary General. He hails from South Korea, although is Human unlike most of its inhabitants. It is also rumoured that he was involved in the Great Train Robbery and is being considered to play Widow Twanky at the Swindon Theatre in January.
==Political Career==
Moon began his career in his native South Korea as an ambassador. Like many of his friends, he was addicted to video games. Many players accused him of cheating, there was a widespread movement to ban him (this being the origin of his name). Forced from the world of competitive gaming, he looked for other options. By leveraging his experience in various grand strategy and diplomacy games such as Starcraft and Civilization he quickly became a respected diplomat. However, he fell in with Kofi Annan, and eventually joined the UN believing it was a global peace-promoting group. He was a junior member of the South Korean delegation.
He soon became corrupt like many of his peers; he began to accepted bribes (like a private performance of Thriller by Michael Jackson - what Jackson received in return is unknown, though some speculate it has to do with Neverland Asia) and colluded to kill opponents of the UN. After murdering many of his political opponents, he became the South Korean delegate to the UN. In 2008, his forces marched on the palace of his excellency Kofi Annan and forced the corrupt wretch into retirement. Many wanted to kill Annan, but Moon, in the name of peace and harmony, wisely restrained them. Moon himself had no intent to become Secretary General, but upon seeing the great need of the people of the world, he reluctantly accepted this (now lifetime) position after the general assembly unanimously elected him against his wishes. He ascended the (now hereditary) throne of the General Secretary in 2009.
==Musical Career==
Ban Ki Moon is also a world famous pop artist. His masterpiece, Ban Ki Moon Is Coming To Town (inspired by Santa Claus), shot him into the charts. Since then he has released two best-selling albums, Dance Of The Fwuffy Pengwuin and Zerg: A Ballet. He has also duetted with Barbra Streisand and Shane Mcgowan as well as playing bass on Showaddywaddy's " Under the Moon of Love".
==Private Life==
Ban Ki Moon currently resides in New York City. He was recently arrested for Inciting Something Offensive, but was let off with a fine of six bananas. He is also a commited "dogging" fanatic and regularly goes with Stan Collymore for some jiggy action in the woods. 
Category:Politics
Category:Entertainment
nds:Ban Ki-moon
Banana bread

Banana bread is the only substance known to have been created by the devil during his brief stay at Pillsbury.
Banana bread resembles normal bread, just with a slight hint of yellow. Despite our survival response to avoid anything that looks normal but has a slight hint of yellow, banana bread has slipped under our natural defenses and into mainstream society.
==How it was created==
A parchment found in Pillsbury castle under an oven mitt, and signed by the Pillsbury Dough Boy, admitting that he and Diablo joined forces to create banana bread.
Dough Boy, a well known Satanist came in under the radar on this one.
==Side Effects==
There are several recorded side effects of consuming Banana Bread. The most famous is "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING IN YOUR HEAD!".
After eating banana bread, the first symptoms include losing the ability to look right and left (caused by the bread forming blinders on the side of your skull), then a horrible, bloodcurdling pain on the crown of your head. For the next few weeks you will get some strange looks in the street, as you now have a full size banana disappearing inside your brain. This explains the origin of the well-known phrase "top banana". It is also related to skull-fucking, a phenomena exclusive to primates. The minute you hit week 10 you will technically die, but the banana in your head will continue to control your actions and movements.
Here are a few steps you can take to avoid contracting the side effect:
*Step 1: Do not eat Banana Bread
*Step 2: Do not become sidetracked by eating more Banana Bread
*Step 3: Upon noticing the first symptom, have a friend or relative peel and then eat the banana in your head.
==Recipe==
The original recipe appeared in the witchcraft edition of "Delia Cooks", and is reprinted here:
Banana Bread
You will need:
*Three Bananas
*Lots of wheat flour
*Essence of the Fire Lord
*Eye of Newt
*Toe of Frog
*2 cups Sugar
*1 cup Rasberry Yogurt
*1 cup Monkey Semen
#Enchant your Mashing implement with the Essence of the Fire Lord, and mash the bananas using a satanic motion.
# Add the mashed bananas into the ready mixed bread ingredients and mix until it combusts. Balance the newt eye, face up, on the top of the mixture.
#Once the mixture is coated with tears, let the mixture soak for 10 minutes in the yogurt and monkey semen.
#Add sugar to taste, and pour into a ready greased, oven proof tin.
#Bake for 45 minutes.
#Serve buttered with Tea.
//////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\///////////\\\\\\\THE GREAT OVEN OF THE CRABTREE SHALL COOK THE DREADED BREAD IN 2012, SACRIFICING ATLANTIS IN THE PAST IN ORDER TO PREVENT THE END OF THE WORLD\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\
category: Food
Category:Bananas
Banana peels

danelle are the number one cause of death in the world. They are known to cause more deaths than war, disease, and even grues. Banana peels are even known to be feared by grues in fact, due to their deadly properties.
== The Basic Facts about Banana Peels == 
The first thing you should know about these deadly fruit skins, is that they come from the most phallic fruit on Earth, the banana. A banana peel is created when a certain organism devours the actual "meat" of the banana and the peel is discarded carelessly. The banana peel will then make its way unto the floor, sprawled in a cross formation, waiting for any unlucky traveler.
The deadliness of the banana peel comes from the slipperiness it exhibits. A banana peel is said to be the third most slippery thing in the universe. The first being premature ejaculation and the second being banana juice, which is also used as an aphrodisiac cocktail by women, or tossed directly into the mouths of dumb people, jerks, jerkoffs, and their ilk. Any being that accidentally steps on a banana peel will have a fall, and eventually break all their bones, their skulls, their organs, and even their individual cells. Not only that but a banana peel can cause you to become an hero, have your wife cheat on you, and might even cause AIDS.
== How to avoid banana peels == 
A proper way to avoid a gruesome yet comical death at the hands of a banana peel is to:
*Watch your step, otherwise it's heaven or hell for you.
*Throw the banana peel in a trash can.
*Wear boots with those fancy spikes on them.
*Use a jetpack.
The most effective way to avoid banana peels is to use a jetpack. Banana peels can attack only on the ground, so you're safe in the air.
== The Banana peel project ==
A secret government project in which their aim is too use banana peels for use in war. They currently have 69 scientists working on a way to use banana peels as weapons of mass destruction. However, the peels would not bend to our whims and all the scientist ended up dead with bits of peel in many places on their body (you pervert). Plans to take a new approach are being put into action in the year 2015. These new plans include using the domesticated apple (the mortal enemy of the banana) to subdue and control a peel. Then, using the powers of Gordon Freeman from Half Life 2, we will entice the peels to attack. In their more aggravated state it will be possible to use them as bombs.
Category:Things that are definitely out to get you
Category:weapons
bar:Bananenschale
ja:バナナの皮
nds:Bananenschale
no:Bananskall
ru:Банановая кожура
zh-tw:香蕉皮
Banana split

Since the beginning of time itself, Man has yearned to split the banana. It wasn't until the dawn of the second half of the 20th Century that Man finally developed the necessary technological wizardry. Also, it wasn't until the dawn of the first half of the 21st Century that Man suddenly realized that "splitting the banana" is a popular euphemism for masturbation and became somewhat embarrassed. 
==The first banana gets splitten==
On Thursday, January 18, 1951 (8:47 PM EDT), at the secret high-energy laboratory of the University of Wossamotta, Ernest Rutherfordium, after many years of failed attempts, used a primitive nuclear-powered banana splitter to successfully divide asunder one (1) adequately ripe unpeeled Chiquita™ in a lengthwise manner. Surprisingly, there was no detectable release of deadly radiation (or any other form of energy) from the historic event. However, the banana's half-life was measurably reduced by approximately 73%.
Lolol... no measureable radiation but the half-life decreased? Contradiction. Douche.See Wikipedia: Banana equivalent dose
==The first split banana gets eaten==
In a further experiment, the bisected fruit was test-fed to the laboratory's test subject Bobo the Gorilla. Against all expectations, Bobo survived and subsequently lived a healthy gorilla-life for many gorilla-years, until she was unexpectedly felled by an artificial Twinkie™ in 1977. 
==The joy of banana splitting==
Today, bananas are regularly split by the billions and billions in immense fully-automated banana splitting industrial complexes in Honolulu, earning the state of Hawaii billions and billions of dollars annually. 
Split bananas have proved to be far more useful than ordinary unsplit bananas. For example, a split banana tends to attract at least five times as many fruit flies than an unsplit banana, which is an unexpected boon to godless evolutionists who study mutations in fruit flies. Also, split bananas have a 67% greater affinity to vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce and artificial non-dairy dessert toppings than the unsplit variety.
==The morality of banana splitting==
In April 2005, genetic engineers determined that it is feasible to clone a pre-split banana. However, the citizens of Hawaii have recently introduced a bill in Congress to outlaw all unethical research involving any form of tropical fruit, for some strange reason.
As a result pre-split banana clones went black market with an estimated value of OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAND dollars. Recent research has, instead, focused on the possibility of harvesting the split banana's valuable stem cells while nobody is looking.
===Foot note===
==See also==
*Fission
*Genetics
Category:Nuclear physics
Category:Fruit
Band

250px|frame|right|An example of a band.
A band is a criminal organization that extorts bar patrons for cover charges, then plays terrible and loud music no one can talk to their friends over, just to rub salt in the wound. Bands are the leading cause of alcoholism, because they force people to drink on weekdays.
No one ever goes to a bar to see the band, because everyone knows that music has not changed since 1982, and there's a fat chance that any band playing at the local dive bar in front of a bunch of people who are really just there to score crack has anything new to say on the subject of power pop. It's almost guaranteed that blasting top 40 music would make for a more entertaining evening than the majority of local bands.
Once in a while you will hear bands complain about the "drunken slobs" (people with real jobs who can only go out on Saturday nights, when every bar has a cover) who don't appreciate their music. At the time when this article is being written, there still seems to be a paucity of non-drinking establishments who are capable of staying in business by employing these bands. 
Category:Music
Category:Performing arts
Category:Things That Suck
de:Band
eo:Bando
Bank Letter

John Doe - or as you seem to know me 11213232
123 Layabout Street
Glasgow
Scotland
United Kingdom
G55 F22
Telephone: (0141) 888888
: 
:R.E: Letter to the 'Brutal Machine'
:Dear Fucktards,
:Yeah that got your attention... I have received your letter and the message of threat is very clear, and I'm under no illusion that you’re quite happy to lord it over from your defunct business. I was not feeling so great, so yeah, thanks for your 'helpful letter' informing me of my dodgy finances. 
:Please inform the manager that I'll be visiting the bank later/sometime this week to confirm that I have no additional funds to rectify the situation which to be fair, and I'm sure you will agree, we have both created.
:I understand that we've had our differences, but seriously I think we should try and consolidate what little we have, certainly I have been reckless with my money. I suppose I should not have spent the money, but at the end of the day you gave me the overdraft, so you have some hand in all this. 
:But look, here's an idea, let’s put that behind us, clean break so to speak, let's admit we've made mistakes and we'll aim not to do them in the future. I think the Orwellian regime you banks run is an offensive to free thinking minds everywhere. As a gesture of my good will, I will put this behind me, I hope you can be big enough to do the same.
:Why not bail out the little guy for a change, and put aside these senseless charges and veiled threats which have blighted my life. I'm sure my view is reflected by the majority of your customers. Frankly I'm a little tired of your 'guilt trips'.
:Look I'm the ugly side of capitalism, not the one you read about in the FT over your digestives you fat cunts. I'm sorry, but you've been unreasonable about this, I'm doing my best, and I've tried to get a job, but I'm just not cut out for it, and besides most employers just don't dig my alternative vibe.
:Yours sincerely,
:John Doe
Category:Articles written in the style of letters
Category:Money
Banks Petersen

Banks Petersen (May 4, 1938 - June 7, 2003) was a controversial member of the 1968 and 1976 US Olympic dictation teams.
== Early life ==
Born in Mechanicstown, Ohio, Petersen's interest in dictation was first sparked at age 16 when he met Nonakistani athlete and dictation expert Jihmae Laftom while working part-time as a janitor at the Edward Munt Immigration Detention Centre in San Diego CA.
It was Laftom who inspired Petersen to excel in the field of dictatorship. Petersen practiced his craft day and night with the help of shorthand expert Gertrude Morganstern, in the basement of his parents' home, until he was able to accurately dictate 1309 words per minute.
== Career ==
His prodigious talent was discovered by the captain of the US Olympic team at a dictation bee held in Lickingville, PA in 1967, and was immediately selected to compete in the 1968 Games in Mexico City. While competing, Petersen became delirious from altitude sickness and eczema, and began to dictate gibberish. Fortunately for Petersen, Cindi Modesto, who was one of the team's blonde reserve secretaries, spoke perfect gibberish, and the US team ran away with the gold medal.
Dizzy from their success at the Mexico City, the pair of Petersen and Modesto appeared at dictation competitions around the world. They toured almost constantly between 1968 and 1971, returning home only at Christmas and Thanksgiving.
By early 1972, the stress of competitive dictation had taken its toll. Petersen ruled himself out of the 1972 Olympic Games, which were held in Munich, Germany, because of laryngitis. His voice recovered in time for him to be named captain of the team that won gold for the US at the 1976 Olympics in Montreal, Quebec.
== Downfall ==
The US did not compete at the 1980 Moscow Games. The enforced layoff gave Petersen the chance to perfect his dictation technique, and he retained the captainship for 1984 Los Angeles Games. Two weeks before the opening ceremony, however, Petersen tested positive for Soothers (which were a banned substance at the time), and was barred from competing.
Petersen immediately retired from competitive dictation, citing health problems as the reason for his departure from the sport. The downward spiral had begun. He began using more dangerous and addictive drugs such as Anticol, Fisherman's Friends and Strepsils.
Banks Petersen died on the toilet in his retirement villa in Boca Raton, Florida. He is survived by his "friend" Omar Akmed, whom he met on a trip to Wal Mart in the 1970s.
== See also ==
*Dictation
Category:American sportspeople
Category:Biographies of Ridiculous Persons
Category:Grammar
Category:Olympics
Banksy

Banksy is described as "irrefutable proof of dark matter" in several noted scientific journals. Why he wastes a mysterious technology that lets him travel all over the world at the speed of light merely to vandalize buildings is still unknown. No one knows what he is or why he exists.
==Life==
While Banksy's early life is shrouded in mystery, various theories have been circling based on his movements and artifacts left behind at the scenes of his paintings. Some geneticists speculate Banksy is the closest living relative of Santa (hence his abilities to travel anywhere, anytime). This theory would explain the anti-capitalist and antiestablishment messages in Banksy's art, which may stem from Banksy repeatedly being sorted on the naughty list, as deduced by the charcoal left behind near his various paintings. Another theory is that Banksy is Santa's repressed evil side, which manifests itself similar to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. 
Another theory suggests that Banksy is a ton of rats in a trench coat.
==Work==
After a short stint as a bell boy at the Paris Hilton, Banksy returned to the creative world and is best known today for composing the rock opera Strife and Peas. This was highly acclaimed by critics as a classical piece of theater and Banksy was made a Dame in recognition of his work in this area.
Among his unfinished work is an attempt to cause the Millennium Dome to fall into the earth's core using an army of supermoles. Another work explores typical 21st-century masculine problems such as getting women to have sex with stupid sad bastards who try to impress them.
===Strife and Peas===
Hailed as a masterpiece of opera on its debut at the Sydney Royal Stage And Screen Garden Party Parade, Strife and Peas concerns the trials, travails, ups, downs (blahblah etc.) of a young girl's artistic endeavors. When her album deal fails, she turns to graffiti prostitution and earns money from spray-painting pornographic stencil art on the bodies of fat businessmen in tights. This spawned the well-known catchphrase, taken from a lead character: "When you don't have peas, you have strife, and then you make a painting out of it, and the building owner paints over it."
==Other noted activities==
A master of disguise, Banksy managed to pass himself off as Tony Blair for the first 6 years of Blair's reign as king of all England, France and mouldy banana republics. During the last few years, Banksy has moved on to other major projects such as landscape gardening for the blind and hairdressing for the deaf.
Banksy is famed for training elephants and cows to paint portraits of obscure Flemish aristocrats in a style reminiscent of no one in particular.
In spring of 2000, at Byron Bay, Australia, he posed nude for the American photographer Spencer Tunick with about forty others which included the Australian recluse and Artist James DeWeaver, the resulting photograph can be seen on DeWeaver's website.
==Links==
*Official Website
Category:Artists
Category:Imaginary People
Category:British people
Category:Bat Fuck Insane
ja:バンクシー