nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
The Holder of the Minty Fudge Ripple

In any city, in any country in the world, go to any ice cream parlour you can get yourself to with a live duck on your head. DO NOT ASK WHY. At the counter, ask for the Scoop of the Ages.
Should the worker laugh, all hope is gone. Foul hands will reach up from the floor and pull you down to the darkest depths of Hoboken, New Jersey.
Should the worker look blank, turn and walk away. Today was not your day.
Should the worker turn into a large haddock wearing a monocle and top hat and offer you a penny-farthing ride to the moon, it's time to stop smoking whatever you've been smoking.
If, however, the worker nods grimly and picks up his scoop, you have passed the first trial. Beware, for they get far worse from here on out.
The worker will reach beneath the counter and bring out a scoop of strawberry ice cream, and wordlessly hand it to you. Eat it. It will be the strawberriest thing you have ever tasted. Many have gone mad from the sheer strawberritude of the strawberry.
When you have finished, the worker will ask you how it tasted. You must answer "Strawberrific!". Fail to do so, and the worker will seize you, drag you behind the counter and use your skin to make waffle cones.
If, however, you say the right thing, he will next produce a scoop of vanilla. It will be the vanilliest vanilla ever tasted by man or beast. Quite a few people have later stated, "Damn, that is some vanilly vanilla!"
When you have finished, the worker will again ask you how it tasted. You must answer "Vanillicious!" If you do not, you will be seized and used for the foulest waffle cones in history.
The worker will then hand you a scoop of chocolate, as dark as a very dark thing. It has been whispered in hushed tones, mainly by laryngitis patients, that light itself cannot escape its surface.
The chocolate will be the chocolatiest chocolate that ever saw the light of day, so rich that it could buy a thousand mansions and still have enough left over to purchase Mars.
The worker will once more ask how it tasted. You MUST respond "Choctacular!" If you don't... you know. The waffle cone thing.
You will now face the Holder, a naked woman made entirely of butter pecan swirl. Don't eat her. It pisses her off so. She will only respond to one question: "O Mighty Holder of the Ripple of Mint-like Fudge, just what the hell kind of flavour is Rainbow anyway?"
She will tell you, in horrendous detail. Be warned, it may very well sear your soul from your body and rend it in twain. Mark Twain, to be precise, who will imprison you forever in a first edition of Tom Sawyer.
If you survive the ordeal, you will be handed the Scoop of the Ages. It has the power to scoop pure minty fudge ripple from any surface.
The Scoop of the Ages is Object I've Lost Count of 538. But you will never be able to enjoy it, or any other ice cream again.
EVER.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
The Holder of the Mudkips

In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask with no hesitation to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of the Kips." The worker will say nothing, but a single tear should fall from her eye.
She will guide you to a forgotten hallway in an abandoned wing of the run-down institution. She will not enter the hall with you, but will only look into your eyes with a cautious hope, her own expression seeming to beg for salvation. Should you enter the hall, you will not see much, save for the dirty, broken fragments of what were once beautifully carved ivory statuettes of Pikachus and Squirtles. Before long, you will hear a soft whimper from the other side, crying "Fuck yeah, Seaking". Pay close attention, for if the whimper stops, then all hope is already lost. There is no use in running away.
As you turn the handle of the simple wooden door on the other side, a warm and cozy light will greet your face. You will find yourself in the bedroom of a young man of twenty-three and a half years. The man himself will be sitting cross-legged on the floor at the foot of the bed, his only garment a trucker style cap, exposing the entirety of his pure body. He is the source of the tortured whimpers, and nothing you say to console him will end his torrent of stifled wails. "Fuck yeah Seaking... fuck yeah Seaking..."
Only, if you ask him “What happened when it first evolved?” he will become silent to glance up towards your face. "Mudkip... kip" he will say, whispering. His beauty will render you breathless, and if you are still capable of any thought it will be only the realization that in him you see everything in this world that you truly love. You fucking pervert. You turn him over, ask for his consent, and make love to him. Suddenly, you will realize that the man is bleeding from his nether regions as a grotesque blue form emerges from the orifice between his legs. The object will pulsate with its own life, and you will find that it is hypnotizing you. Do not look away, for you do not wish to try its patience. The form will evolve, before your eyes, into a Mudkip.
Soon, the room will disappear before your eyes, and you will be standing in the most serene clearing you have ever witnessed, and all of nature’s fauna that you recognize will go about their lives around you, with no fear of anything, not even death. You'll find yourself surrounded by Mudkips.
The illusion will fade, and you will find yourself back in the room. You will find the man dying on the floor as he whispers one last thing, "thank you". His decaying body is now feeding the now towering blue form and giving it a sinister glow.
That is object 407 of 2538. If you catch it then it will be yours, but if you let it master you then it will use your body to seek and assemble all the pieces, no matter what the cost.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Old Shit
The Holder of the Penis

In any city, in any country, go to any pen­is you can get yourself to. When you reach the front pen­is, ask to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of the Pen­is". Should a look of fear come over the worker's pen­is, you will then be taken to a pen­is in the building. It will be in a deep hidden section of the pen­is. All you will hear is the sound of someone talking to their penis echo in the pen­is. It is in a language that you will not understand, but your very pen­is will feel unspeakable fear.
Should the pen­is stop at any time, STOP and QUICKLY say aloud "I'm just passing through, I wish to talk." If you still hear silence, flee. Leave, do not stop for pen­is, do not go home, don't stay at an inn, just keep moving, and sleep where your pen­is drops. You will know in the morning if you've escaped.
If the voice in the pen­is comes back after your penis utters those words continue on. Upon reaching the pen­is all you will see is a windowless room with a penis in the corner, speaking an unknown language, and cradling a pen­is. The penis will only respond to one question. "What happens when the pen­ises together?"
The penis will then stare into your pen­is and answer your question in horrifying detail.
"Buttsex."
Many go mad in that very room, some disappear soon after the meeting, and a few end their pen­is. But most do the worst thing, and look upon the pen­is in the penis's hands. You will want to as well. Be warned that if you do, your pen­is will be one of cruelty and unrelenting horror.
Your pen­is will be in that pen­is, by that penises pen­is.
That object is 1 of 538. They must never come together. Pen­is.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Overused Running Gag
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
The Holder of the Ride

In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. Walk to the front desk and say to the clerk, “I wish to see he who drives whilst he drives.” The worker will look stunned, but will soon be overcome with joy. He or she may high-five you, hug you, chest bump you, or any number of things. You must match his or her enthusiasm. Failure to do so will result in your destruction.
After an indefinite period of jubilation, the clerk will calm down and lead you to a broken-down car. The car could have any number of horrific malfunctions. Some of these range from odd to those that will cause you to go insane. If you do go insane, you will be driven insane again, causing you to be insane within your own insanity. Brave the horrors of this car as the clerk points out its every flaw to you. After they are finished, you must take the keys from them, get in the car, and begin to drive.
No matter what direction you drive in, you will eventually reach an enormous garage. Inside will be a crew of car specialists. With their aid, you must pimp out this car. You must give it an insane paint job, incredibly loud speakers, and as many TVs as you possibly can. If you miss even one opportunity to make the car over the top, you will be destroyed.
When you have finished, the clerk will enter the garage. Upon seeing his or her new ride, he or she will likely burst out in jubilation as they did when you first met them. Once they quiet down, you must ask them the question, “why must They drive whilst They drive?” The clerk will tell you, in horrifying detail, why They demand the convenience of driving while They drive. The tale will likely drive you mad, but you must hold onto your sanity as the clerk hands you a glass orb with another glass orb inside of it.
These glass orbs are Objects 51 and 52 of 538. Yo dawg, I heard you like bringing them together, so I put an Object in your Object so you can bring them together while you bring them together.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
The Hole

I walked into the cabin, at around 7:00 pm. I was on a fishing trip, so I rented an old cabin in the woods near the lake. I observed the inside, it seemed nice and clean. All was perfect, except for when I walked into the bedroom. Right across from the bed, was a small hole in the wall. Normally that wouldn't be a problem for most, but there was something about this hole that made me feel uneasy. That night, as I settled into bed, my gaze drifted over to the hole. Immediately I felt paranoid, turning away from the hole. I closed my eyes and buried my face in the pillow, hoping sleep would find me.
After a few hours of paranoia, I finally drifted off to sleep. During which, I had an odd dream...
It was storming as I was running through the woods, a feeling of fear overwhelming me. I was too afraid to turn around, all I knew was I needed to run. I came upon a cabin, much like the one I was staying in, and ran inside the door. I ran down to the bedroom, just as I heard the front door swing open. I came face-to-face with a man, his features hidden by the darkness of the cabin. Lightning flashed, revealing a knife in the man's right hand. He lunged at me, and due to me being paralyzed by fear, I was pierced in the stomach with the knife.
As I lay on the ground bleeding out, he started ramming into a wall across from the bed. He finally broke through it, taking my body and throwing me inside there. He then covered the hole up with wooden planks, leaving only a small hole. I watched as he impaled his chest with the knife, tied the bedsheets to the ceiling fan, and hung himself.
The dream then skipped a few days, when police arrived. They take the body out, claiming it to just be a suicide. I tried banging on the walls and screaming, but my body weak from hunger and my wound wouldn't let me get their attention. As they left, I began to cry. As the lights turned off, I awoke from my dream, sweating in terror.
In the morning, I immediately grabbed a fishing pole from my bag, and began ramming it on the wall. The wall cracked, revealing a shriveled, bloody body, which seems to have died from hunger. I gasped and stepped back a few steps. The dream had been telling me something...
I had called the police, and watching as they took the body away. I couldn't help but shed a tear. I felt sorry for the poor human, but proud that I was able to help it out in a way.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Dreams
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Old Shit
The Hole in the Sky

After having a dream that I was swimming in dark waters and saw a hole in the sky, I have grown curious about this astrological phenomenon.
That was the fifth time that I have seen this strange hole in the sky. I searched for explanation on the Internet, but didn't have much success; it only made me feel unsure about this happening in the real world. I searched deeper until I had this amazing dream.
Here's a Piece of my mind
Day 1
I was walking like a sleepwalker through stone arches, and all I could see was a cold, shining light until I drowned inside it. I couldn't help but feel hate, anger, love, and the whole spectrum of human feeling rush through me. I awoke with a whisper inside my head that kept saying "Sheol" every now and then.
Feeling empty and dry, my body was changed, and my feelings were sucked from me in some way. I have been like this for as long as I can remember. In the meanwhile, I couldn't dream anymore. All I had was this strange feeling of nothing inside me, like I couldn't be hurt or touched'.
Everything seemed meaningless.
After exactly ten days I had one of deepest experiences
Day 2
I dreamed I was inside a large building, and that all its occupants were happy. Suddenly, an old man with frightening blue eyes filled with despair grabbed me. I could feel his soul, feel him dying before me. Then I felt a hole in the sky just above him and I, and I heard a strong sound of gates being opened.
Then his soul rose to the opened skies. I lifted my eyes as his soul was sucked by this shining light. I dared to look deeper inside this hole, and felt a warm, yet strangely cold light washing away everything I felt. I grew scared interestingly enough, but couldn't help but look deeper in the sky.
Everything was fading away, like the heavens themselves were allowing me to see God's face. I was in awe, petrified, scared. Then this deep blue began to be erased by this cold light, and my bodily awareness began to fade away like I would return to dust.
Then there was silence, and a sound like a choir of many voices called my name three times. I felt like a stone; I couldn't reach it. No matter what, I couldn't even utter a word. I felt like a foreigner.
Then I woke up, scared and dry like sand, and I felt full with that light. I didn't feel hungry, thirsty, or sleepy thirsty for the rest of the day. I felt like I saw the true face of God and a sensation like dying. Even today, I still feel uneasy about seeing this dream again.
Now I know there is someone on the other side, watching us when we sleep.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Beings
Category:Dreams
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Old Shit
The Holidays

It was almost Christmas. Only a few more measly hours of the day left before tomorrow-present time! I did as much of my schoolwork as I could before I got home. Don't want to have lots of HW on the 25th.
As I was walking home, I spotted the neighborhood kids who were running around, having snowball fights and various other things. I decided to join a group of four in their fight. As the temperatures got colder, my nose began to run. When I wiped my nose, one of the kids whipped me in the face with a snowball and I fell into the icy hill. Getting up, I felt my hand brush something there.
To my surprise, it was a present laying on the ground. There was no address on it to tell me who it belonged to. Not wanting to end up stealing it, I asked the other kids if it was any of their's. They all said no.
Figuring it wouldn't harm to check it out at home, I brought it back. After wiping my boots on the Christmas-y welcome mat I headed downstairs to go put it under the tree. My dad asked me where I had gotten the present, and I lied and said one of my friends had given it to me to be nice. After that, I waited eagerly for Christmas Morning.
When I awoke the next day I immediately rushed down to get my presents. After all the nice stuff my family had given me, one last thing remained. The present from the hill. Nervously I got ready to open it. What if some kid was the one who was going to see it and now was saddened over its loss. But I told myself, no, I must open this, I'll give it back to whoever wanted it. I opened the box...
AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Holidays
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
The Hollering Thing

Hello everyone im am here to tell you a story of a monster that has been liveing in the North east part of North Carolina.
Leagends say that this monster can shape shifts into a man,woman or a baby and it lures people to it place and kill them where there is no one to know it was there. I myself have personaly seen this creature i am not sure what it is it only comes out during tobacco season and then it is gone.
The 1st Story i heard is from my grand mother stating that when she was younger a white horse outside of her house had it rip cage riped open during the night with all of its insides ate.
This next storytold by my grand father stated that one late day during harvesting time in tobacco season he was outside a barn putting away the tobacco and my grand mother was in a diffrent barn doing the same. When all of a sudden they both heard a scream comeing from the woods. my grand father was outside the barn during this and ran into the barn and locked it he stated to me that it heard it outside the door like it was waiting for him to open it to look at it. When my grand mother heard it she did the same saying that it sent chills up her spine that make her shake with fear. They both stayed in there barns for the whole night and only came out when the sun was at it fullest in the sky.
this one is of me and my brother seeing this creature its has been along time ive also seen this being i was around the age of 8 or 9 and i know what your thinking its ur imagination but how can two people see the samething? well anyways me and my brother cody was looking outside the window of my great aunts house one summer day and we caught a glimps of a shadow of a man with a pipe in his mouth leaning aginst a building just enough inside the woods where we could see him as we turned to tell my grand mother we looked back...it was gone to this day i have though that it was timpting me or my brother to come into those woods and see what it was.... as i sit here in my home only seconds away from where i saw this figure of a man i feel like he is outside the window looking at me it gives me chills as i type this up crawling down my back.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Beings
Category:Old Shit
The Home Depot Legend

Have you ever been to Home Depot? Odds are you have. When people need to purchase supplies to help build their homes, they often go there to purchase wood, screws, nails, doors, desks, and other supplies. But something that's a bit more secret is what tends to go on behind...closed doors.
When you go to the checkout line, you must approach with a small box of screws, and only a small box of screws. Any brand will due. When the cashier asks you how you are doing, squint at their nametag. After eyeing your screwbox purchase, this is the second clue that you know what they know. Lastly, tell them that you ordered the pizza last Sunday, and it gave you explosive diarrhea.
The cashier will give you a stern cold look, and ask you who was buried in Grant's tomb. Tell them that it was an accident, but that the people needed to know. The cashier will then ask you to guess their childhood nickname. Tell them: Grant. The cashier will pick up their phone, and call in a replacement cashier, before motioning to escort you to the stockroom. On the way to the stockroom, return the box of screws and be sure to whisper under your breath, 'Grant would have wanted it that way'. If you do not do this in time, the cashier will slice you to death with a Home Depot box cutter. Take important note of this, for your life depends on it.
Once inside the stockroom, the cashier will motion for you to climb into a cardboard box. They will duct tape the box, where you will remain for seven days. There are holes in the box for breathing, and tiny pellets of dry bird food, which you will survive off of. Do not yell, or the box will catch fire, and you will die. The same will happen if you try to call for help, or otherwise use your phone. Because the box will be moved into a secret room sometime while you sleep--which, you will--no one will be bothered by your using the box as a bathroom. When the seven days are up, a red-haired man with a slack jaw will open the box with a box cutter, and coax you to leave the box. Do not offer to clean up your waste, or bathe. You will find yourself in a small room, around the size of an apartment kitchen, with a school desk and an American flag, on a pole, attached to the wall like a classroom flag. Do exactly 12 push-ups before firmly shaking the man's hand, and saying in exactly these words: "All that is granted is a screw for the fix", three times fast. He will then snap his fingers, and you will wake up in a state of uncurable bliss.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Rituwel
Category:YT Readings
The Homeless Veteran

So I was walking around my local city Cardiff, a place loads of beggars and Do-Gooders infest.
I noticed some Iraq and Afghanistan soldiers surrounding a Homeless person. It then came to my attention that it was a Vietnam Veteran, he reminded me of PTSD soldiers. He was still dressed in his old Uniform, he was American, that is why he confused me, why is a American veteran living on the streets of Wales?
I did not know it at this time but he was a Ghost. In a dumpster not far away from his "Corner" I found a old, dusty Satin covered notebook. It was a war diary. I am not going to publish all of the diary, but I then noticed that there was a line in it that said, in very messed up handwriting "We dropped the Napalm on (unreadable, rain stained)"
I wanted to know ASAP what place, country or whatever this is.
Inside the notebook it had a death certificate inside it. "JOHN HAROLD TAYLOR BORN 1923. DIED 1964 IN BATTLE OF KHE SAHN." I immediately searched up The Battle Of Khe Sahn on my phone, there was no Napalm dropping. I went to the homeless veteran to ask was this a friend of his, his eyes where then shot blood red, clothes blood stained and multiple fingers decapitated, with dirt marks on his face, possibly camouflage. He did not speak to me but he nodded when i asked questions, so John Taylor was him, I was shocked and I was crying, knowing that he was killed in action, and of course that i was speaking to a ghost. I said goodbye to the man then I caught the 132 bus back home.
When I got home I thought I was robbed, but it was just my dog going ransack. I just went to bed because I was majorly tired, and I can only remember this dream in parts, I will try to explain it. It was in first person, I was clearly in a war atmosphere. I translated the speech I heard and it was one of Fidel Castro's old speeches.
I went back and he wasn't there. Just a note. He has moved on and he is now in Heaven. He left me his purple heart medal.
I hope he's okay. The Purple Heart is now framed and above my bed. God bless his soul.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:Old Shit