Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood: Daniel's Last Rites

Ah, Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. An innocent and happy seeming show on PBS Kids about two 11-minute segments are linked by a common socio-emotional theme, such as disappointment and sadness or anger, or being thankful and appreciative.
It was created by Angela Santomero. And I hate that show, I know, it is made for kids, but still. And now, I do not look at it the same way anymore. This is the reason why I permanently moved to Japan and I became a permanent fan of Shimajirō.
And you might be thinking "Get on to the story already!"
Alright, I heard you. Ok, lets begin.
It all started on August 19th of 2014. It was a dark and stormy night. At my house, my baby cousin and his mom came to visit. My mom asked me to find a DVD of a baby show for my cousin to watch. So I rode my bike to my friend's house. He had lots of DVDs for baby shows, and of course, he had a baby. Althrough, he wasn't there. He would be usually be watching football at this time.
I checked his bedroom, and believe it or not, there was a chalk outline of a body, maybe his. And in the chalk outline, was a DVD of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. It looked like the Life's Little Lessons DVD. The only difference was that instead of a yellow background, it was an orange one, which a little looked like yellow. Instead of the words "Life's Little Lessons", it said "Daniel's Suicide". So I didn't really notice and I took it home.
After riding my bike from my friend's house to mine, I went to the room where my baby cousin was, the living room with a couch. When I grabbed the DVD, on it, Daniel looked a little sad and he is holding what appears to be a M1911 handgun to his head. I popped the disc from the DVD in the Sony DVD Player and the episode began.
The intro was normal, no changes at all. After that, the episode REALLY started.
It started with Daniel playing with his blue tiger toy, and his baby sister drinking milk from a bottle. After a few seconds, his mom came from the door. She told Daniel that they were going to a hotel in a new place. Daniel said "Alright!"
Then it showed Daniel packing up his stuff. It showed that for 5 seconds, and then it when to an abandoned looking 12 story luxurious British hotel. Then Daniel felt the same way I did. And then it showed Daniel, his baby sister, his 12 year old sister and 8 year old brother, and their parents, going up some rusty steps. Weren't they supposed to meet the guy and the staff who work for the hotel? Oh well.
Anyways, it showed Daniel's mother holding Daniel's baby sister in her hands in a blanket on the balcony of the 10th floor, after a few seconds, when the mother tried to kiss the baby sister, the baby sister fell by accident. And then her mom shocked in horror. And then the baby sister fell from like 11 stories.
And then when she almost reached the ground, a black screen appeared and a massive, enormous and gigantic explosion was heard, indicating that the baby sister hit a gasoline truck and caused it to explode, killing 18 civilians.
And then it went to Daniel and his Dad on the bed. Daniel then silently gets off the bed and goes to another hotel room as he was grabbing a rope, he then went inside of the room, put the rope in the roof of the room, turns it into a noose and gets a stool over, he then jumps on the stool as he put the noose around his neck and he then said "I can't live without Margaret, so it's my turn to die." and he then kicked the stool as the screen goes black the background of the hotel swirled.
And then a black screen appeared again, after a minute, it showed Daniel's parents and Daniel's dead body stained with blood in the car, with the photograph of him and his girlfriend, Alice on a romantic date in PBS Kids Sprout's Paris, holding hands and kissing. It was covered in his blood, and the parents were at the front.
Dad was driving, and Mom was crying while saying "What the fuck have we have done! We are very fucking horrible and terrible parents! Everyone will fucking hate us!". Daniel was of course, dead, having been slain by his own parents as they stopped the car.
His brother, Pierre got very extremely angry at his parents as tears of fury fell from his eyes and yelled " I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU BITCH ASS BASTARDS MURDERED MY BABY SISTER AND YOU MADE MY 4 YEAR OLD BROTHER DANIEL KILL HIMSELF! I REALLY FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU BLOODY ASS DICK SUCKING BASTARDS! I'M CALLING THE COPS ON YOU TWO!" and he tearfully ran out of the car straight to a payphone and dialed 911.
He then said "Hello, 911! Please come arrest my parents because they have killed my baby sister, Margaret and they made my 4 year old brother, Daniel kill himself! Thanks, goodbye!". His older sister Madeline got out of the car and ran over to the police, the FBI, the CIA, and the SWAT teams and then said "Get me and my 8 year old brother Pierre out of here and I'll tell you everything."
Lots and lots of massive, gigantic, colossal and gigantic swarms of police vehicles, Black Hawk helicopters, police helicopters, FBI vehicles, Special Air Service vehicles, GIGN vehicles, German Special Forces vehicles, CIA vehicles, military vehicles, National Guard vehicles, and SWAT vehicles surrounded the Tiger Family's' car.
One FBI agent yelled out "Mr. and Mrs. Tiger, you both are under arrest!!!" as the cops and FBI and SWAT team members pull Mom and Dad out of their car, violently pin them to the ground and finally puts them in handcuffs and the other FBI agents recover Daniel's lifeless body as trillions of civilians looked on in horror.
After 10 seconds, it cuts to some multiple newspapers that said "Land of Make Believe Massacre: Daniel Tiger Killed Himself Because Of His Baby Sister's Death!", "Civil War Breaks Out in Land of Make-Believe!", "Suicide Of 4 Year Old Tiger Cub Sparks Continent Wide Riots, Anarchy, Terrorism, Satanism, Violence, Civil War and Civil Unrest In Land of Make-Believe!", "Daniel Tiger's Child Abuse Related Suicide Sparks Nuclear Civil Wars Across Land of Make-Believe.", "Japanese, South Korean, Taiwanese, Philippine, Malaysian, Indonesian, Thai, Vietnamese, Indian, and Chinese Forces and Civilians Declare Nuclear War on Land of Make-Believe and its territories!", and "Land of Make-Believe's 4 Year Old Future Leader Killed Himself!".
It look like Daniel Tiger's suicide has gone over the whole entire news. His death was being told and announced all over the news all across the Land of Make-Believe in different languages from Europe the way Kim Jong Il's death was in 2011, which is 3 years ago, sending the entire Land of Make-Believe into extremely intense mass suicidal hysteria and sorrow, causing 1,000,000 centillion European people to commit suicide.
Poverty and crime has increased to maximum 100%, causing over 900,000 centillion European people to kill their own families and commit suicide. The entire Land of Make-Believe is violently being torn apart by terrorist attacks by both Japanese, Chinese and South Korean forces and extremely violent, bloodiest and goriest clashes between civilians and maximum militarized police.
After 10 seconds, it cut to a church, where there was Daniel in a coffin drapped with a French flag, his family, girlfriend his age, teacher, and friends were there. so were over more than 800,000 quadillion European people. And then after the guy said the stuff, Daniel's parents went to Daniel, and then after Mom kissed him, the cops pulled her and her husband away straight to prison as the people became angry and violently yelled and cursed at them.
We cut to a maximum military prison where Mom and Dad Tiger are being executed by the electric chair at maximum power. They died instantly.
The scene then cuts to massive and gigantic swarms of 920 centillion Japanese, Chinese, Taiwanese, Vietnamese, Thai, Indian, Malaysian and South Korean soldiers, people and military vehicles overwhelming and destroying the entire Land of Make-Believe and brutally rape, slaughter, destroy and massacre the rest of its whole entire population, destroying whole entire largest towns and cities without sparing a life and kill the Land of Make-Believe's children and assassinate and murder all of the Land of Make-Believe's leaders, kings and queens and their royal families, including Prince Wednesday and his whole family, causing massive and enormous amounts of blood and gore to be spilled.
The whole orrel lasted for 30 minutesl Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Taiwanese and South Korean troops and civilians were waving their flags as their fighter jets, planes, bombers, stealth bombers and helicopters fly over them, dropping massive and gigantic amounts of enormous and massive napalm bombs, grenades, launched massive and largest ballistic missles and dropped centillions of Tsar Bombas and launched centillions of massive and enormous ODIN and LOKI strikes on the Land of Make-Believe's whole entire towns, villages cities,
The onslaught of explosives were enough to wipe out their entire populations and destroying all of the buildings, causing parents across the Land of Make-Believe to murder their own children and kill their own families and then killed themselves.
Japanese, Chinese, South Korean, Malaysian, Filipino, Indian, Thai, and Vietnamese tanks and other military vehicles overwhelmed and permanently destroyed whole entire European cities and armies. The Land of Make-Believe's military forces and their elite special forces: The White Volunteer Army (WVA) and the European Volunteer Army (EVA) have been permanently destroyed and completely wiped out from the face of the world.
Then the scene cuts to Daniel's 2 older siblings, Pierre and Madeline in their bunker committing suicide along with Daniel's girlfriend, Alice by shooting themselves with triple-barrel shotguns in the head to avoid capture by the Japanese. The war lasted for an extremely long time until all of the Europeans and whites have been completely and permanently wiped out for good.
Then it cuts to a largest and gigantic 100% pure eco-friendly and extremely safest Japanese city, this time instead of this shows cartoon style, it is now computer graphic from the 2008 Japanese CGI horror film Hikiko The Bullied. The Japanese, South Koreans, Vietnamese, and Chinese have conquered the entire Land of Make-Believe and its 900 billion centillion islands that are all about the shape and size of 999 quadrillion Russias.
Surprisingly, this only happened after only suffering over 2,000,000 KIA and 1,900,000 WIA casualties, as well as the raping, slaughtering, and exterminaton of its entire population, dropping it from 999 centillion to 0 and destroying all of its European towns, villages and cities, reducing them all to nothing but rubble, dust and debris.
The Land of Make-Believe and its islands is now permanently and completely oriental and Asian now with the use of Asianfieng radation released from Tsar Bombas and is now named The United Asian Kingdoms. The United Asian Kingdoms' population is 999,000,000 centillion, which is 21% Japanese, 20% Chinese, 20% South Korean, 20% Taiwanese and 19% Vietnamese.
The United Asian Kingdoms food production from agriculture and farming is extremely maximum high at 100%. Its suburban towns and cities and traditional styled towns and largest towns are extremely 100% pure eco-friendly and extremely safe from crime and danger.
Buddhist, Shinto and Asian temples and shrines are everywhere. The United Asian Kingdoms's education, sanitation, economic, birth rate and safety levels are permanently extremely higher. No sign of pollution and trash in sight. It was nighttime in this very massive 100% pure eco-friendly and extremely safe Japanese city.
A young 34 year old Japanese police officer is patrolling and he hears giggling similar to Golden Freddy's giggling and saw a trail of blood leading down a sidewalk as he heard crunching sounds, he went left as he took out a handgun and saw Daniel Tiger, now a zombie feeding on the body of a 19 year old Japanese boy he killed, he then looked at the Japanese police man.
His eyes were pitch black, his face was totally nightmarish and disfigured, his cardigan sweater, his sneakers and his fur are stained with blood and his eyes, mouth, and nose were dripping with blood. Then it cuts to a 34 year old Japanese woman in a light tan business suit wearing pink shoes walking on a bridge at night with an umbrella in her left hand.
She then heard zombie like moaning and she looked down, seeing the 4 year old tiger cub zombie dragging the body of the Japanese police officer.
She was scared because her 10 year old son saw him dragging the bodies of two 10 year old Japanese elementary school students he killed. She can't believe was she's seeing. Daniel Tiger then slowly turned around and pointed and looked at the Japanese woman with his zombishly disfigured face. His eyes are totally pitch black, and is covered with blood. The Japanese woman grew horrified and she is his next victim. The episode then ended.
Then I noticed my baby cousin was crying, I was shocked in horror. Who would make that for a kids show? And also, that is why from now on, my mom never trusts me to babysit anymore. This is another reason why I moved to Japan.
== After all... ==
The next morning, on August 20th, I was riding my bike to the junkyard. By the time I made it there, I threw the DVD in there and smashed it into tiny pieces. After that, I went back home and went on my Youtube account. I sent a message to the creator of the show and PBS about the episode, and then, a few hours later, the creator cried this:
"Ok, Cynthia Coffman, Shoko Asahara, Awilda Lopez, Jessica Beagley, David and Bryan Freeman all forced me to do that episode on the behalf of ISIS and North Korea and they said they would kill me if I didn't, so I did it anyway, please get rid of it!"
I found a newspaper. It said that 1,000,000 children ages 2 to 6 have become upset, sad, and distressed and committed suicide after watching that episode, forcing many families to permanently move to Japan.
I can't take this horrible nightmare anymore. I never looked at Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood as the same anymore ever again. I contacted the Japanese government and Japan's prime minister, Shinzō Abe, and told them about that episode of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood that I saw and they believed in me.
They told me that me and my whole extended nuclear family and my friends can move to Japan and live there forever. I felt relieved. A few days later, both my friends and my whole entire extended nuclear family and I soon permanently moved away to Tokyo, Japan, never to look back at Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood and return to the United States ever again. The end."
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:YT Readings