Threesome

Threesome, also known as Ménage à Trois or Amour à Très (those kinky French will burn in Hell) is a major sin to be avoided. Nevertheless, it was not listed among the seven major sins in order to not give people ideas and also because seven is cooler than eight. It was forbidden in the 1st Vatican Council , along with zoophilia, dental grills and bull testicle consumption (the later changed by 2nd Vatican Council:Death To The Latin Mass). Threesome (in the name of decency, from now upon referred simply as Unholy Trinity or UT3) is not exactly a sexual positionWriting this is quite a sacrifice for me... Four lashes in my back for writing this... Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!..... but a seshxual situationSigh... plus three lashes. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!............ Ooof, but forget about the details. For you, my son, is enough knowing it's evil. Just think (without mental images): how can you have 3s after marriage if you can't marry more than one person?Giving too much details... Two lashes!...... Hrfhh... In sum, in order to avoid major discussion about polygamy, the Roman Catholic Church just deemed it sin because it was what those damn dirty Mormen do.
==History==
Of course we are not like those anti-intellectual Protestants. He have all of that motherfucking Theology, in their face!Oh, no! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!....................... So I'm giving you some historical context. UT3 was first reported in Stone Age. Ogg and his wife Thuga - properly married, I must stress - shared a small cave chamber and had Thuga's mother Battleaxa invited for a weekend. Due the lack of illumination and the bed still having to be invented, some confusion was somewhat unavoidable - so modern Catholic theologists have a consensus that Jesus gave his retrospective mercy to this poor unenlightened family (historians suspect that not just the threesome but also the prejudice against mothers-in-law were born in that day, long lost in the dawn of time). Later on, as registered in the Holy Bible, Lott had slept with his two daughtersThat was quite graphic in my mind... Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Fuck it, that hurts! Oh no... Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!................................ Ho-hum... Well, son, that was Old Testament, full of that perverted rough play that made baby Jesus cry... so shut up!Oh, great, now blasphemy... Was it eleven or fourteen?
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Sorry, I'm getting nervous with this whip stuff. I've meant don't think, just follow, okay?
==In Conclusion==
Have a whip like this one in case temptation comes around. My back hurts like hell(In tears)I said "hell"... Ouch! Ouch!... I should had taken Mom's advice and becoming an attorney... No! That's lack of faith... Shit! Ooooouch! Ouuuuch!... Ooooooouch!!!...................................... Wooooooo... Oof!... As I was saying that's just my corruptible form. For Christ sake, I'm not saying you to flog two other persons on the bed. Flog yourself, like this............. Hrrmnnyaaahoooo!!!... See? What? Are you finding this exciting, a priest in the act of self-flagellation?... So... That means I'm taking part in a sexual relationship with you...
(Long minutes looking at the blood-coated whip) 
Err, nevermind! No priest here anymore. More than that: may that f1$@$S Jesus stuck this %@#%@@ whip up into his...
...oww...
==See Also==
*3
==References==
Category:Sex
Category:Religion
Category:Articles written in the first person
Category:Relationships
es:Ménage à trois
ja:3P
pt:Ménage à trois
zh:3P
zh-tw:三人遊戲