GTA Evil Edition III

I adore GTA.
I can't help it. I love it. I have all the games, DLC, even the figures. I guess you could say that I'm a GTA freak. Until one day, I got a letter in my mail. It was the letter H. I actually completed my letter collection. I went inside and put it up. I then left, not realizing that my Trevor figure fell to the floor. I then turned on my PC, and then I realized I don't have a PC. So I just got out my PlayStation controller, my PS2 console, my PS3 headset, and my GTA VI for the PS4. I played for 15 hours, then went to bed. I woke up the next day, craving for some Banana-Os. My old friend, LOLHUMANS, who went away during the 3rd grade. Banana-Os were his favorite cereal, and I still eat them today. I poured in the milk, then the cereal, and put my fork in. I gulped them down in two seconds flat. I then heard a knock at the door, in which I walked over and answered. I found a small package on my doorstep. I decided to ignore it, but it threw itself at me.
I wondered how it did that, but I just decided not to question things because I would be shot. Anyways, I opened the package, and got another letter. I realized that I was missing the letter F, and I went back to my room to put up my F. Now it was finally completed. I took a photo, and posted it on FaceGramItterSpace. It got no likes, but I don't care. I left the room then again, not realizing that my Gay Tony figure fell to the ground. I then got back to my GTA VI and got to the Torch Michael Mission. I got killed 64728 times, but I pulled through on the 64729th try. Michael's screams of agony filled the air. After 23 hours, I went to bed. That night, I had a nightmare. It had my ex-girlfriend being brutally killed to death. I woke up the next day. I made cereal. I ate it. It was delicious. I then got an envelope, from my friend, Pat Rick. It said this:
Dear BOOPY,''
I have no more time left. Please take this disc, for my sake. I want you to destruct it. Please.
For my sake. I'm giving this to you rather than destroying the disc itself, which would be much easier,
because I am very stupid. But please, they're too Gangsta for me.
Pat Rick - 02:15, December 28, 2015 (UTC)
Now, as of course I knew exactly what to do. Open the case and play the disc. It said: GTA Evil Edition III. I popped the disc into my nonexistent PC, and clicked a save file. It said, BEN. I deleted the file, and nothing happened. I started to play and noticed that only three characters were playable. Franklin, Michael, and Trevor. I thought that was odd, but passed it off as nothing. I played as Franklin first, mainly because Trevor and Michael were locked. It started out with Franklin in his house. I took control and went to a mission that said " Kill a well dressed black man whose first name starts with an B and ends with K." I got to the mission, aimed my pistol at a man that resembled a well dressed black man whose last name starts with O and ends with A. I shot him, but heard a voice that sounded like a sports commentator who is famous for milking a dead cow for football games. There was then a flash of static, and then cut to the menu screen. Franklin wasn't playable anymore, but Michael and Trevor were still playable.
I decided to go back to bed, and had a another nightmare. It had bright, vivid colors, but then I realized that I was high on shrooms and sleeping on the floor naked and covered in peanut butter. I woke up and took a shower, and put on my Kek clothes. I went back to play GTA Evil Edition III, and played as Michael. It started with Michael smacking the yoga instructor with a copy of EVIL PATRIXXX LIVES ON. I then went to another mission, which stated that I need to kill a tall, faceless, man in a suit. I went to the woods, and saw thee famous milked character that has fanart of another famous character with bleached skin that his him spanking the other on a bench. I whipped out my ASSault rifle and shot at him, and killed him. Again, there was a flash of static, and the voice of a famous actor that starred in Leonard Part 6. This time, only Trevor was playable.
I went back to bed and had another nightmare. Except this time, I wasn't tripping. It had Franklin and Michael shouting and screeaming, saying " WHHHHY? DON'T PLAY THE NEXT CHARACTER! HEED OUR WARNING!" I woke up the next day, and made some more cereal. I decided not to heed the warning, and played as Trevor. It started out with Trevor vomiting into a fountain, saying "Never, ever, eat Indian people!" The final mission was there. Just over at Mt. Chilliad, there was a mission. I drove over and started the mission. It wanted me to nuke Los Santos. I went to the Super-Duper-Mart to pick up milk and a nuke. They gave me a discount Fat Man, and it ordered me to go to the airport and got a plane. I got 1200 feet in the air, and opened fire. The framerate tore up, and the game crashed. However, the computer went back to the menu screen. I heard the voice of a man, somebody who sang Straight Outta Compton. They all said " Thanks, you have summoned the all powerful EVIL PATRIXXX! You have made the perfect monster!"
I thought EVIL PATRIXXX was just a myth. I heard stories, legends even, of the Demon EVIL PATRIXXX destructing every universe, every GALAXY, he destroyed. That is, until he was banished to the Meme Dimension by the Trollpasta Wizards for a thousand years. Until the three Men of Memes cult, John Madden, who had the ability to create football demons with his powers, Bill Cosby, who could kill you with his gibberish, and Ice Cube, who can control your mind with his sick spittin' skillz. All combined, they could recreate the Demon EVIL PATRIXXX. EVIL PATRIXXX, was the strongest of them all. And I created him. I saw a portal rip open the sky, and saw EVIL PATRIXXX's dead eyes staring back at me.
" I THANK YOU, BOOPY, FOR I WILL SPARE YOU, AS YOU BROUGHT TO YOUR PUNY DIMENSON ONCE MORE! YOU WILL BE A SLAVE, MAYBE EVEN THE HEIR TO ME, EVIL PATRIXXX!"
I was scared. I was frightened. I know that only the Trollpasta Wizards could defeat him. EVIL PATRIXXX couldn't be killed, but if he was, he wakes up in a thousand years. But, I then saw a white blur, flying across the sky. I saw three wizards and then I realized that they were the Trollpasta Wizards, the key to EVIL PATRIXXX's fall. Again, he was immortal, but can be banished. The wizards turned to look at me, and one of them flew to me.
"YOU! You did this! You did not heed the warning! Said the Wizard.
"Please! I did not know! Spare me!" I said.
Another wizard flew over to me.
"Spare him, for he is the heir to the Wizards!" The other wizard said.
"I am?" I asked, puzzled.
"He can't be!" Said the third wizard, flying over. "He was the one who summoned the Demon!"
"Now, Sirius, said the other wizard.
"But he did! He created the-- Sirius' sentence was cut off.
"HE IS YOUNG! He has many to learn." Said the Third wizard.
"So, I am the heir?" I asked.
"Yes, BOOPY." Said the second wizard. "Krye, hand him the robes."
"Yes, Master Povious." Said Krye.
They handed me the robes. As we were speaking, EVIL PATRIXXX got his arm through the portal, and made it bigger. I put on the robes, and, somehow, I flew! I flew to the portal, and summoned, somehow, Zeus' lightning bolts. It shocked EVIL PATRIXXX, but he called his three minions.
"Time to die!" Said John Madden.
John Madden summoned three football demons, who threw demon footballs at me. However, Sirius thought quick and countered the attack. Krye charged toward Madden, and shot him with his Pyro Flames. Madden collapsed to the asphalt below, dead. Bill Cosby rose, and started shrieking gibberish which shattered the windows. Master Povious countered with his trollface shield and killed Cosby. Ice Cube rose, and starting singing Straight Outta Compton. I did it in the most fitting way. I shot him, with a fire bolt. Ice Cube collapsed. The only one left was EVIL PATRIXXX. I used the ultimate move. Kamehameha. The hardest spell. It can banish anyone to an eternal prison. I held my hands together. A strange blue glow arose from my hands. I opened them, to reveal a luminescent red glow. I shouted the spell. The red glow burst way from my hands, and shot EVIL PATRIXXX in his nonexistent nose. EVIL PATRIXXX screamed in agony and knocked him back through the portal. The world was safe. EVIL PATRIXXX was banished for a thousand years, until he comes back. Until then, we will be ready. But there was one question: How did I learn all those spells? Tune in next week, same troll time, same troll website!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:BATTELS
Category:Vidya games
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:DIALOGUE!