nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Time for bed

It was 8 ocock when I went to bed but was woken up by a roundabout spinning sending out seizure enducing lights.
This pisses me off and I go down to give them a piece of my mind. I go down and see some mario rip off called zebedee. I say he is a mario rip off, at that point everyones heads turn  around and call me a zeebad.
I scream at them saying zeebad is love, zeebad is life. I get chased out the roundabout by the filthy good wizards.
I get back in my house and lock the door and give them the middle finger through the window.
I close the curtans and turn out the lights when I hear the silent whispers saying time for bed.
My bed starts bouncing on its springs and calls me a filthy fucking zeebad and starts bouncing at me knocking hyper realistic blood out my nose and mouth.
I look outside and see  Giant Doogal driving towards my house smashing down my armoured fencing.
I scream and run down stairs out of my house before doogal rams through it knocking it down like a wrecking ball.
I hear that filthy mario rip off quote a nightmare on elm street as he bounces on top of my house crushing all my belongings.
I run to my friends house to tell him about what happened but to my shock I saw him watching that filthy Doogal movie on his tv.
I call him a backstabbing cunt and spit at him, the spit is reflected back at me as he is protected by a reflection spring.
I run out of his house as he chases me with his nerf gun, I see Zebedee and Doogal chasing close behind.
I hide in an alley way as I hear silent whispers of time for bed behind me as I am stabbed by Zebedees spring and killed.
The next day no one came looking for me and left me to rot.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Im died
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
Time to Deliver a Pizza Ball!

I'm sure many of you are familiar with the famous Eric Andre Show skit, Pizza Ball, in which our protagonist attempts to deliver a pizza ball to a karate instructor (Ramadan Steve) who is unwilling to accept it, with hilarity ensuing. However, what many people don't know is that an alternate cut of the skit existed in the Adult Swim archives before being stolen sometime during the summer of 2017. The alternate cut was subsequently uploaded onto YouTube where less than a dozen people saw it before it was subsequently taken down and the uploader arrested. I was one of those people.
The skit begins as it does in the version available to the public. After 20 seconds however, the jingle "Time to deliver a pizza ball!" turns into "Time to deliver a bussy ball!" as Mr. Andre breaks into the dojo and starts yelling about feculent substances. After this, he does something highly revolutionary for a television production, he begins goatse-ing his anus and inserting the pizza ballnow dubbed the 'bussy ball'into it.
At this point we would expect to see Ramadan Steve step in and try to get this lunatic out of his dojo, but Ramadan Steve is nowhere to be seen. He is replaced with a chubby Swedish man named Olaf. Olaf looks at Andre with awe, as if he is witnessing the second coming of Christ. After a short back and forth with his students, Olaf tells Andre "I am ready." before laying on the floor.
Andre knows what he has to do now. He bends over, teabagging Olaf. The tip of Mr. Andre's penis touches Olaf's Adam's apple, which makes Olaf uncomfortable, prompting him to ask Andre to move a little. Andre obliges and moves a little forward, now his balls are on Olaf's Adam's apple. Much better.
With a loud roar, Mr. Andre begins shitting out the bussy ball, and for a final time, the jingle plays. He is truly 'delivering' a bussy ball, like a woman delivers a child. While half the ball has already exited Andre's anus, something goes horribly wrong. Parts of the ball break a wall inside Andre's body and enter his balls, filling them. Everyone is panicking, unsure what to do, Andre is in horrible pain but he can't just stand up and leave and go to the doctor!
Then, Olaf does something heroic. He extends his Adam's apple 14 inches, pushing parts of the rogue ball out of Andre's balls and back into his anus. He shits them out gracefully.
The day has been saved thanks to Olaf, who stands up with the remains of the bussy ball and some fecal matter on his face. He and Andre look at each other romantically, and after a few seconds they make outperhaps the most authentic kiss in a television production's history. Everyone in the dojo begins to clap and cheer as Andre and Olaf walk out of the door and into the sunset, their outlines beautifully illuminated by mother nature.
The end.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Potty Humor
Time to Fish

>I was sitting at the edge of the pier
>My fishing rod was cast in the water
>I waited for a tug
>I felt a tug
>I started to reel in my fishing rod
>Percy Jackson was holding the hook
>When I reeled him in all the way
>He stood at the edge of the pier
>He said, "Give it to me"
>I gave him my fishing rod
>I knew what I had too do
>I laid on my back
>I spread my legs
>He casts the fishing rod into my vaginas
>It feels so good
>He then reels it in
>It tears out
>Attached to the hook is my heart
>He eats it
>He looks at you and says, "Your next"
>He goes back into the water
>My vaginas are bleeding
>I lap it up like a dog
>I grow ebony wings and fly to the Underworld
>I go to a coffin
>A zombie pops out
>Bet you didn't see that cumming.
>I cry
>I looks at you
>Your next
Category:Trollpasta
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Shortpasta
Timmy

I was hiking through the woods one day. In the merry, merry month of December. I found a clearing and decided to pitch my tent for the day. I glanced at my electronic watch and saw through the lenses of my eyes that I still had a good 4 hours of daylight left. I unpacked my fishing gear, which consisted of a hand cast reel and some badger food for bait, and headed towards where I thought the river must be.
I chanced upon a stork standing on one leg, which reminded me of margarine. I thought back to the time Stork Margarine had a mail-in competition "Why do you like Stork Margarine?" and then you had to fill it in. I wrote "I like Stork Margarine because... I've enclosed a fiver". But then I forgot to actually enclose the fiver when I mailed it and some git won it by writing "I like Stork Margarine because... I only have one leg". Clever bastard.
But I digest. I arrived at the river, which was maybe five pounds thick at the stalk; perfect for fishing. I put on some badger food on the end of the hook and flung thine hand caster thither unto pond rivulet waters. I had not had any bites, so I dosed off to a light sleep perched on a nearby branch of ash.
It was dusk when I awoke with a start. I gathered up my clever fishing gear and ambulated back to camp. It was right dark by the time I arrived and I decided to cook some dinner, which consisted of the fish I caught back at the lake.
After dinner I cracked open a bottle of spiced rum and sat down in my camp chair, flirting with the idea of a Cossack in tights and just staring up at the stars, which were many and bright.
That is when I saw a star moving, not like a satellite, but weaving side to side and making crazy modifications in its velocity trajectories. It was an alien UFO space ship. It became brighter and bigger. It was moving towards me, I was sure.
I stood up, dropping the beer I was drinking. It seemed to land somewhere near the lake I was at before, so I got my fleshlight and headed in that general erection. I picked up speed as I was nearing the rivulet. There it was! An actual UFO! Weirdly, it was shaped like one would imagine. A flying saucer. I heard a twig click behind me. There was something in the bushes. I spun around and pointed my lantern at the rose bush. Out came a being what I can only describe as a Timmy.
The Timmy-looking alien had in its tiny little hands a bottle of spiced rum. My bottle of spiced rum! It brought forth a pair of drinking vessels and, setting them down on the ground, filled both to the brim. The Timmy-like alien handed one to me and took the other and gobbled it down in one spiky punch, reminding me of a Tiki bar I once went to.
Not knowing what else to do I followed suit. I am writing this now from orbit. I can see the Earth far below. The stars look very different tonight...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Timmy The Admin

__NOTOC__
==The Kid Years==
Little Timothy sat there, staring at a world of crap wonder, wide eyed, flabbergasted, bewildered. He had discovered... Trollpasta. Little did he know that this website would play a critical role in his life.
== The Teenage Years==
Slowly little Timmy grew up and became big Timmy. As he turned 15 he finally graduated from 5th grade. At around this time he took to writing Articles and is now accredited with the shortest Trollpasta ever "Ways to Kill Chuck Norris". At school his marks were dismal he put effort into all that he did, but he couldn't figure out how he wasn't topping the class, he knew he was right, I mean of course they were wrong about Adolph Hitler not owning a fast food franchise and obviously Robert Mugabe was a very, very good man. In spite of how much his teachers tried to brainwash him he knew that he had solid grounding in the words of Trollpasta. He got by in life for the following years, finally being kicked out leaving school at the age of 26. The transformation has begun.
== All Slightly Grownup==
As the years went on the Trollpasta disease slowly took hold he became even more enlightened to the truths of life. At 45 he was living happily ambivolently with his mother, with acne and glasses. But he was forced to work hard writing articles, books and endless pages of Storys to show his devotion to this community that has given him so much. But at the age of 47 he grew tired of this and decide to do something about it, he wanted to do sod all and become Adolph hitler reborn become an Admin. One day his mother came home and heard talking in the attic Timmy's room. It was the voice of another man, overjoyed at the thought of him having a friend she ran up to Timmy's room and saw her worst fears (the details are too horrible to be described in this Article). She ran down into the kitchen while yelling "Where did I go wrong!?" and Timmy did not even flinch when he heard the unmistakable sound of a steak knife penetrating flesh and the "shhhhhh" of arterial blood. His transformation into GG0000DDDZLLZFANBOY12 had begun.
==The Final Stages of Life Being Alive==
After many months of, showing himself to to his heros, the Admins, they decided to give him a chance. He had to write an Article by the following morning, but due to a horrible Hollywood timing clash he had a date with a Russian super model (ordered off e-bay of course) that night, there was no way he would have time for both. He had to decide between a life of sleeping with beautiful Russian super models and a life of Trollpasta. The chocie was obvious. The title of the Trollpasta he was putting his faith behind was "S3nic.ps3"... Predictably, judging from the title, the book was a failure and he missed his chance at becoming an admin. He would never feel the joy of killing another mans dreams and calling him an idiot. Being a ###hole without consequence. He was doomed forever to be a n00b. He did the rational thing, and slit his neck. His life ending as it would for any others who fall into the net of Trollpasta.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Tin Toy Missing Copy

My name is Cameron, I am a fan of Pixar. Back in 1988, Pixar created a short film called Tin Toy. But i somehow back then found a missing copy. This all happened on August 21 2017 (The Day of the Solar Eclipse.)
One day, I got a call from the national gallery of art in Washington DC in which they wanted me to premiere Madeline: Lost in Paris at the movie room. So the movie premiered, But i recognized i put in the wrong copy. It looked like the cover was written in paper. And yes it still showed the premiere but much differently. The previews showed trailers for The Lego Movie, Super Mario Odyssey for Nintendo Switch, etc. Then the pixar short for Tin Toy premiered. But things were different. Instead of the captain kangaroo theme which was in the original short film, It was the Opening Credits music to the Fantastic Mr Fox movie. The short started out differently, There was a shot of the house instead of the short starting with passing a gray shopping bag and a couple of toys.
Then it went to the inside of the house, Tinny (The Tin Toy) was not in the living room, He was in the kitchen having a meeting with his friends that he got out of the couch in the original short. Tinny began to speak, "Hey Toys! Let's cook the baby in the oven!" Since why would tinny speak in this missing copy? Anyways, They waited for the baby to come in the kitchen, When the baby saw tinny in the oven, He crawled into the oven and tinny got out and they slammed the kitchen oven and the baby was heated into the oven in volcano heat.
The Baby started crying and the parents weren't around, The baby exploded and they had his meat for lunch. Then i saw something flash on the screen, It was only shown for a split second. But i could make out the image. It looked like some person in black uniform. He was laying down dead on the floor, He wore a white hat with a black stripe on it. Then the credits rolled but only listing Written by Lucifer. After the credits rolled, It showed creepy images of children. The first image showed an image of a little girl, But she looked completely naked, She was hanging from a noose and completely bloody. There were more and more creepy images. Then i took the copy out and never looked at the pixar short Tin Toy AGAIN! To this day, Whatever i see that looks creepy, I must try to avoid it.
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:DIALOGUE!
Title.file extension

One day I was interneting on my computer, when a download link came up for A file I did not click on. The file was called "barley breathing.AVI". Being a computer genius, I unplugged my anti-virus program and installed this mysterious file.
Before executing barley breathing, I looked it up on the google searcher, and found out that barley breathing was a game programmed from the ground up by one madman who lived in the woods without electricity. He committed suicide after he finished making the game.
I started playing the game. It was like Assassins Creed, but with better graphics.When I was getting into the murder simulator, the game's main character suddenly died, and then Satan came onto the screen. He broke through the glass of the monitor, jumped out of the screen, and fucked me to death with his 13 inch, literally burning cock! (that's 66.6 centimeters if you're an America hating, godless communist.)
They let me have a computer in hell so I could tell you all through this story that Christianity is the correct religion and that computers and video games are evil.
By the way, I'm not Jack Chick or Jack Thompson.
THE END
Category:Satire
Category:Vidya games
Category:File Extensions
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:Im died
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:NSFW
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta
Title cancelled 152

so hi I am jack from the USA I have something to tell all GTA 5 players.
so it all started when I got GTA 5 for my birthday from my elder brother as soon as I unrapped it I put the disk in my PS3 and started playing.after I finished the story I started looking for cheats on my PC I found one called title cancelled 152 so I got the cheat and started to play. everything was normal until I couldn't buy any cars,moterbikes or planes nothing not even a gun then people started to go missing cars were crashing and driveing of the edge of high ways and when I couldn't find any cars or people I started to walk home when I got home the dog was dead in my sports car then a person holding a pistol looked at me and ran away when I tried to switch weapon I had none so I just ran after him until he just stoped in the road and said title cancelled 152 and said it for a while and then stoped and said someone you know will suffer. then I heard my brother scream I ran down stairs and there was blood on the wall and it said you are next
and my brother was never seen again.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:English Class Failure
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
Category:That just raises more questions!
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
Tix

Tammy Irwin. A young girl, only at the age of seventeen (although her smaller height, 5" gave the impression that she was barely twelve), suffered with Avoidant personality disorder and Intermittent explosive disorder. Even though she lived with her father (Joseph Irwin, he combination of both disorders (including the outrageous bursts of anger and fear or people) meant that she was doomed to solitary confinement, as set up by herself to prevent harm to her father. The only people being allowed too see her being the two psychologists that had worked with Tammy since her order was discovered, at the age of seven.
Suffering with APD had lead to Tammy picking up many nervous habits, including biting her nails down to the skin, picking at her skin and clawing at her own face. The scars that these had left, made her appearance far from the norm for a seventeen year old. Once ivory skin was now torn, so that deep scars were dragged from her eyes to her chin, her lips were so pale and bitten, that they were barely there at all and her once soft hands were now red and rough, constantly bleeding. The psychologists, had of course, taped her hands to prevent this, but she would always find a way, usually gnawing at it, which only strengthened and sharpened her teeth. Tammy was practically a mute, only making an odd clicking sound with her tongue, and tapping obsessively (except for the loud screaming that came along with an IED outburst). The IED also had increased the aggressive behavior, that had once been minor, but now meant that sedatives were being administrated from the moment the psychologists were in the room. Little did they know that her body had adapted to the constant medication, the usual dose now not having any effect on the girl, which they had now named Tix (for her constant clicking).
As she aged, she grew progressively worse, to the point where she was to be transferred to an asylum. The idea, however, did not appeal to her. The two psychologists approached Tix, injecting her with the usual dose of sedative, then preparing her for removal. They were definitely shocked when the girl sprung to life, biting into the neck of the nearest. Strangled chokes sounded as a warning for the other psychologist, who stood there, frozen with fear. The body dropped, Tix launching her small frame onto the other, and biting into his neck too. The blood swirled in her mouth, a warm and satisfying feeling enlightening her to the greatness of murderous ways. The velvet liquid slid down her throat, an approving click being the only noise in the now empty room.
"Click click click, you better watch about for Tix"
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Beings
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Pointless Violence
Tizzy Tits

There once was a family in some generic-as-hell suburban neighborhood who never gave two fucks. One particular day, their 20-year-old daughter found a mysterious video tape on their porch. Because she was dropped on her head one-too-many times during her early childhood, she decided to play it upstairs in the attic because FAR too many pastas have done this, so will it make a difference where she watches it? Yeah, I don't think so.
She began playing it on some bulky-ass TV that hasn't been touched for years now and pondered why the fuck anyone would keep shit like this.
She gasped in horror at what was playing in front of her eyes.
It was a sex tape of King Krule and Jennifer Aniston.
She was all like "NOPE NOPE NOPITY NOPE, LOLNOPE, NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE." Then she snapped her own neck with a barbwire-wrapped dildo.
The bitchy mother of the now-dead daughter was searching for her 'cause she wanted to stuff her ass with food then bake her for Thanksgiving.
She finally came up to the attic where she began poking her dead daughter's mangled ass and bitching to almost no extent.
She continued that motherfucking bitching till she actually looked at the TV.
She was all like "OH MY TITS LOOK AT THAT SHIT." Then she ate her mangina with a spoon after she pureed it.
Then the rest of the family were all like "BITCH, WHAT'S ALL THAT COMMOTION UPSTAIRS IN THE ATTIC. I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL BITCHSLAP THAT WHORE SO HARD SHE'LL KISS THE MOON."
They arrived at the attic and saw the now-pregnant Jennifer giving birth.
The baby fucking shot out of her vagina and began disemboweling the entire hospital staff till she fucking burst out of the TV screen because fuck logic.
Then she killed every single family member by strangling them with a string of frozen semen.
Then she killed the family dog by asphyxiating the bitch (yes, it was female...) with a doughnut-shaped cunt.
Then their senile grandparent's came because they thought it was Thanksgiving already and their sense of timing is fucked with an iron fist and disemboweled and chained to a dirty motel mattress.
When they saw the bloody-ass bodies, they passed out on top of each other and died of old age in that same position and were showcased in a German museum in that same position that really looks like they were humping each other.
Then the videotape disappeared because fuck logic and began reappearing and killing all the other bitches in the 'hood, then focused on America itself.
After the rash of brutal killings by the hands of the tape struck America, it finally got the attention of news reporters everywhere and they decided that, since America was already fucked sideways and in a roadside bitch, they would play it in a continuous loop globally because fuck logic.
And you know what happened next?
All of America died and all of Japan laughed their ass off.
And then Krule began sipping a martini while stroking his cat-beard hybrid.
Omai.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Excessive Profanity
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Old Shit