Mystery Men (Part One)

The MYSTERY MEN are an international group of spy's from all over the world, think James Bond but multiplied by 7, but the dark truth is that they are not all them seem... it all began on a sunny day, a very plane and boring day, as the clouds rolled around the sky slowly, I was watching Day Another Day (If you remember the author mentioned James Bond at the beginning of the story... very clever!) I loved this film and all the action, it sounded much bigger and epic then any other James Bond film. but anywho I got up to get me self a drink, maybe water, although I had a can of 7up in the refigurator. I choose the water, as I am on a diet. as I slurped up the water a thought broke out into the frickle fingers of my mind... Is James bond was based off of real life events like WWII or vietnam? the thought grounded into pieces as the sound of the postman broke the quiet neighbourhood silence, I walked outside and got into the postbox and it was a letter, the letter was adressed to me (Jason) and I go inside and open the letter, it is written in some weird font like windings or broadway it read "HELLO JASON, YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN BY "THE MYSTERY MEN" TO JOIN THE CONTEST FOR THE NEXT AGENT, IT WILL BE A HARD JOB AND MAYBE MIGHT MAKE YOU WORK ALOT, BUT IS WORTH IT" wtf I think, how did I get chosen for the Mystery Men, they are like the most best spy group apart from MI6 and possibly FBI, I wasn't a spy, just a normal guy who likes films like Train To Bejine and/or Man With The Golden Gun or maybe even the film with Alec Guinness (for peoples who don't know, The guy from Star Wars (Obi Wan Kenobi)) how could I be selected for the most impressive group in the world? I don't know till this very day, I then got a phone call from UNKNOWN NUMBER is read in giant green letters on my Smart Phone, I answered with a hushed wisper "Hello" "Hello Jason, please come to the address (REMOVED DUE TO PRIVACY) please arrive by 8:00 AM tomorrow morning have a nice day" "But..." the words "CALL FINSIHED" flashed in red letters and then I went to bed to sleep off the weirdness, I got up with a giant loud car sound, the screeching tireds of the limo outside my house, I got on my best clothes and went outside, dressed in a white shirt and black jeans, in the limo was a man in a suit, with sunglasses, the door automatchally opened and I went inside, and saw a lady with a clipboard, she said "Hello Jason, how are you" "I'm good, thank you how are you" "Good" said the lady to me, the car drove but the windows were black and I couldn't see outside of them, she asked me "are you doing well" "Yes, thank you" "Would you like some champagne?" "Yes please" she opened the bottle and poured me a glass, I didn't like it, but didn't want to be rude to the lovely lady sitting next in me, we stopped the car and got out, it was a giant building in the middle of nowhere with MYSTERY MEN written on the front, the lady lead me in and the driver drove off. the inside was cold and dull, a long hallway lead to a little door with the words "MAIN ROOM" written in fansy writing on the front "please come inside JASON" "Yes miss" I walked in and came into a giant room, with people sitting on chairs in the middle, I was asked to sit down at seat with JASON on it, I sat. a man with a mustash come in and spoke to all people in the room, "HELLO, gentlemen, I am the count, and you are hear because you have been slected for the mystery men, you will be given an asignment to complish and will be rated on your skill and llevel of determinations, thank you you will start now" we were all handed an envolope with CODENAME: MYSTERY written on the font, I opened it and it said "You must take out this man" with a picture of the man, he was bald. an adress was given and I was on my way, I was lead to a garage by the lady, and given my assignment car A BMW all new and shiny on the parking space, she told me it was a spiecal car, since it came with machine guns and oil slick, and bulletproof windows and plates I was on my way, the place I was lead to was a town on a beach side, I was asked to go to a cafe, and I saw the man with another man exchanging money, I slowly walked in and ordered a coffee as the barista ground and poured the coffee into the ceramic mug I waited and sat down, I payed and she smiled at me, I was about to ask her out for dinner, but the man left the cafe and I had to get on with the job, the guy drove a hummer, I followed him to a beach hut, he never suspectived me following him, so I waited for him to go inside the hut and followed him, I sneaked to the door, and busted in and said calming to the man "Simon Fish, you are hear by under arrest by the MYSTERY MEN, he quickly fired his pistol and ran as fast as he could out of the hut, I chased him, he was very fast, but I am faster so I cought him, he thrashed by I said "WHY ARE YOU RUNNING YOUR TIME IS UP" he said "Please don't hurt me, I know what you Mystery Men do to people like me" "WHAT DO THEY DO" "MURDER" he then swallowed a cyninide pill and died, I carried his body to the car, as I drove off I was tailed by the man he was dealing with before, he chased me through streets and pathments, I managed to use the oil slick to slip him off of the road, but then I was ambushed by a gang, I tried to use the machine guns but they JAMMED, I was knocked out by a tranquilizer dart to the arm... when I got up I was tied to a chair, I could hear men talking in the other room, they came into me and the silence was loud until a man with an eyepatch spoke "Hello Jason, we are TASG (The Anti Spy Group) and we have not come to harm you but to save you" "LET ME GO ASSHOLE!" "mo" "FUCK YOU MAN, I WANNA COMPLETE THE TASK OF KILLING THE DRUG DEALER" "I don't care, anyway, The Mystery Men are evil" "What?" My mind shattered at the prospect of this being true, I almost cried "You see, the MYSTERY MEN are actually murderers and exstrosionists themselves, they have been doing all kinds of crime" I was broken, all those spy films lied to me, I was heart broken, I didn't want to cry, because I wanted to be a bad ass, but he continued "They have been behind EVERY SINGLE CRIME SINCE 1972" "OH MY GOD" "I know shocking isn't it jason" "yeah" "if you want to take out the Mystery Men you must work with us" the tears streamed down my face and I said right there and then "I will Join TASG and deafeat the Mystery Men and SAVE THE WORLD!"
End Of Part One
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Wall of Text
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:TOTALLY NOT UNFINISHED U GUIZE