Hell (place)

:For other "Hells", please see this page.
Hell is a domain of pure, concentrated evil and the home of the river of pink slime that reacts to negative emotions, which was discovered by the Ghostbusters. Ruled by Satan and his lesser minions, it is the place where the spirits of evil life forms who died go to relax (including you), if they prefer to not go to heaven or the ghost zone. Another way to get to Hell is to be "Damned to Hell" by God for being bad while alive. As of October 2000, Hell is a fully owned subsidiary of Sony.
== Composition and Location ==
 
In less technical terms, hell is like another dimension that is parallel to ours. It is basically earth, only everything is evil, and every city, state, country, and continent (including Antarctica, which in hell, is nothing but a volcanic wasteland.) is ruled by one of Satan's minions. Also, the names of all the cities, states, countries, and continents are modified to have some hell related pun (Example: Mass-hell-chusetts) in them to indicate that it is hell. Some other notable things about hell are that no 2 people speak the same language, and people will often swear at each other in foreign languages. Its the worst things about life, only magnified.
The main transdemonential entrance is located right off Exit 13 of the New Jersey Turnpike. If just visiting as a tourist, be sure to have exact change or an E-Z Pass ready for the tollbooth, since there are reserved seats in hell for those neglect these.
Hell looks a lot like Detroit, but its a lot nicer, when you are killed in Hell, you either go to Detroit or China, take your pick.
== Hell's Music ==
As everyone with half a brain cell knows the Devil has the best music, as a result all Heavy Metal bands exist in their greatest form in Hell. For exaple in Hell Metallica post Master of Puppets never existed. Hellian musicians as they are know (because I say so) have there own dominion known only as The Pit, within which lies the Porcupine Tree which Moses saw In Flames. Opeth are grand rulers of the Pit and smite any naysayers and Emos with the mighty power of the guitar solo.
Also known to inhabit the Pit are: The Dillinger Escape Plan (pre bullshit), Children of Bodom, Venom, Motorhead, Iron Maiden (minus the Dickinson free years), Pantera, and Fall Out Boy (the evilest band alive).
== Imagine of Hell ==
Hell is separated into nine separate "layers." The first layer holds the least evil and each layer the evil gets a little thicker until the ninth layer where only the most evil may go. This chart shows the nine layers and the type of evil that may be found on both layers.
General asshatsCircle I LimboDMV EmployeesCircle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy WindOakland Raider FansCircle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & SnowRepublicansCircle IV Learning there Views are WrongGreen PeaceCircle V Stuck in Mud, MangledRiver StyxTrixiesCircle VI Buried for EternityRiver PhlegyasGhostbustersCircle VII Burning SandsThe PopeCircle VIII Immersed in ExcrementScientologistsCircle IX Frozen in Iceburg full of copies of the NecronomiconSatan HimselfCircle Deus Ex Machina With all the Poker players and Deus Ex Machina God
== Ghost(Human)busters ==
In Hell, most things are the opposite from their earthly counterparts. This is also valid for the Ghostbusters. In Hell, the Ghostbusters are known as the Human or Fleshbusters, who will "bust" any living being that comes into the domain of Hell known as "Manhellton". They use proton packs that shoot powerful blasts of ectoplasm (similar to those blasted by Danny Phantom) at living beings and then trap them in traps (which look quite similar to the Ghostbusters' ghost trap) that somehow have the ability to trap a living organism. 
== The Manhellton Incident ==
At one point, Satan had one of his minions, Siffler, who ruled over Hell's version of Manhattan, New York (Manhellton), evict several souls from his domain, Manhellton, as it was becoming too full to the point of bursting. Siffler complied to this and began to evict souls from Manhellton into Manhatton (earth). This, however, caused a lot of trouble for the residents of New York city, who had already faced 2 ghost-related threats in 1984, and then in 1989. The Ghostbusters were then called by God to stop Siffler from evicting souls into the world of the living. They were able to get to hell by building a portal that would transport them there. The portal, which bared a strong resemblance to a ghost portal, which could transport someone to "The Ghost Zone", would take the ghostbusters "one phase out of beat", which was where hell exists, as quoted by Egon Spengler. The Ghostbusters succeeded in stopping Satan and Siffler's plans, thus saving the world (again). This incident was to be documented in filmmaker Ivan Reitman's unproduced documentary, Ghostbusters 3. Unfortunately however, the documentary was not made due to it being rejected by Columbia Pictures, who owned the rights to Reitman's documentaries. This was because Satan himself had possessed the CEO of Columbia pictures, and speaking through him, Satan managed to keep his minion, Siffler's failure from becoming public, and him from becoming the laughing stock of the undead community.
== Satan's New Right-hand Man ==
Recently, 28 year old Satan Worshiper named Darrell Ferguson was executed in Ohio for a triple murder. When Ferguson died by lethal injection, he was welcomed into Hell with open arms by many of it's residents. Satan himself was quoted as saying that he had never been so happy to greet a new arrival in Hell since his first date with now husband Saddam Hussein. When Mr. Ferguson arrived in Hell, Satan threw him a huge party and invited all his best friends. Satan, happy to have a person so evil enter Hell also dubbed Darrell his second in command. Ironically, this has not made Satan's husband Saddam Hussein jealous. Saddam was quoted as saying to his husband 2 days later "I can change!"
== Regulars ==
Hell is not without regular visitors and ghosts who call it home.
Satan - Ruler of Hell, so he obviously lives there.
Americans - No surprise; these whiners are destined to burn here the whole time.
Deus Ex Machina God - Plays poker on Wednesdays. Omnipotent jackass.
Robert Frost - Reads poetry to Satan, and walks his poodle "Scrambles".
Siffler - One of Satan's lesser minions, is the ruler of "Manhellton" (Hell's version of New York).
Mel Gibson - Was damned to hell by God while still alive for bashing Jesus in his movies, Passion of the Christ and Passion of the Christ 2. Was also dammed for being anti-semitic.
Chuck Norris - Comes once every week to play poker with Satan, he sometimes makes Satan shit himself.
Darrell Ferguson - New arrival to hell as well as a prominent satan worshiper.
Ember McLain - The ghost of the famous gothic rock n' roll queen and her band, "Ember and the Ghostly Trio" occasionally make appearances at "The Hellrock Cafe (Hardrock Cafe, in the living world) in Hellywood (Hollywood in the living world) to play songs from their recent albums.
Hellmo - His name obviously implies that he lives in Hell. Hellmo is also one of Satan's leeser minions who rules over "Satanme Street" (Hell's version of Sesame Street).
Samhain - The Creator and god of Halloween, he is a distant relative of Satan who periodicaly visits when not trapped in the Ghostbusters' containment unit.
Dick Cheney - Despite the fact that he is still alive Dick Cheney is allowed to travel freely between Hell and Earth because he is so evil. Cheney usually visits Hell to attend Satan's family gatherings and to hunt ghost quails (Or more accurately, ghost lawyers).
Hitler - Doomed to spend all of eternity in Hell as punishment by God for attempting to take over the hilly warm side of New Zealand.
The Jersey Devil - Former resident of Hell and Satan's cousin. Was never seen or heard from again after he picked a fight with Danny Phantom.
 Alan Robertson - Why not?
Barney the Dinosaur - One of Satan's high-ranking minions, is usually given jobs that involve hypnotizing humans with extremely annoying songs and behavior.
Jar Jar Binks-Another one of Satan's high ranking minions, and one of the most annoying beings in the universe, perhaps even more than Barney. Specializes in torturing random arrivals by trapping them and repeatedly saying "Mesa Jar Jar Binks."
Anti Cosmo - The Bizarro World counterpart of idiot fairy, Cosmo, had a summer house built in Hell.
Leonidas and his Spartans - They frequently come at night to dine.
=== Other Notables now in Hell ===
This article or section is incomplete and may require cleanup and/or expansion.
Please improve the article, or discuss the issue on the talk page.
The newest notable to have gone to hell is bolded until a newer one dies and goes there. Also, please update the list regularly.
Remember that Uncyclopedia isn't just for jokes; it's also for facts that might be true, but aren't verifiable amongst the living, like this list below.'''
A 	A 	A 	A 	A 	A
Herod Antipas 	Mohammed Atef 	Abu Musab al-Zarqawi 	Phil Argus 	Scott Adams 	Andariel
Chemical Ali 	This space reserved for Bashar al-Asshat 	 	 	 	
B 	B 	B 	B 	B 	B
Napoleon Bonaparte 	Leonid Brezhnev 	Bender 	Montgomery Burns 	Ballos 	This space reserved for
George W. Bush
This space reserved for
Bat in a Bucket 	Babur 	Chris Benoit 	this place is reserved for Kobe Bryant 	 	
C 	C 	C 	C 	C 	C
Al Capone 	Julius Caesar 	Nicolae Ceausescu 	Horloogiyn Choybalsan 	Leon Czolgosz 	Finbar Calamitous
Kurt Cobain 	Seung-Hui Cho 	
Fidel Castro 	This space reserved for
Raul Castro 	This space reserved for
James Daniel Cave 	Lucius Sergius Catilina
Andrew Cunanan 	This space reserved for
Tom Cruise 	This space is reserved for 
Miley Cyrus 	George Carlin 	 	
D 	D 	D 	D 	D 	D
Diocletian 	Joel Dawson 	Duriel 	This space reserved for
Richard Allen Davis 	 	
E 	E 	E 	E 	E 	E
Adolf Eichmann 	Eazy-E 	This space reserved for Eskimos 	John Louis Evans 	 	
F 	F 	F 	F 	F 	F
Albert Fish 	Dr. Frank N. Furter 	Darrell Ferguson 	Jerry Falwell - [He talked of evil so often that God will give him the personal up-close tour.]	Bobby Fischer 	
G 	G 	G 	G 	G 	G
Amon Goeth 	Joseph Goebbels 	John Wayne Gacy 	Gary Gilmore 	\Mahmoud Ahmaddinejad will be in hell 	This space reserved for
Mikhail Gorbachev
Muammar Gaddafi 	 	 	 	 	
H 	H 	H 	H 	H 	H
Eric Harris 	This space reserved for
Paris Hilton 	Heinrich Himmler 	Adolf Hitler 	Rudolf Höß 	Enver Hoxha
Attila the Hun 	Qusay Hussein 	Saddam Hussein, now Satan's long-awaited sex slave. 	Uday Hussein 	Jimmy Hoffa 	Jimi Hendrix
Lafayette Ronald Hubbard 	Cho Seung Hui 	 	 	 	
I 	I 	I 	I 	I 	I
Judas Iscariot 	 	 	 	 	
J 	J 	J 	J 	J 	J
Derek Jacobs 	Jesse James 	This space reserved for
Elton John 	Lyndon B. Johnson 	Janis Joplin 	Michael Jackson
This space reserved for Xi Jinping 	 	 	 	 	
K 	K 	K 	K 	K 	K
Dylan Klebold 	Il-sung Kim 	Genghis Khan 	Billy the Kid 	Jong-il Kim) 	Henry Kissenger
Kary, Fiend of Fire 	<Sub>This space reserved for Jong-un Kim</sub>	 	 	 	
L 	L 	L 	L 	L 	L
 	Titus Larcius 	Osama bin Laden 	Blue Laser 	Lich, Fiend of Earth 	Archbishop Lazarus
M 	M 	M 	M 	M 	M
This space reserved for
Marilyn Manson 	Timothy McVeigh 	Josef Mengele 	Slobodan Milosevic 	Ho Chi Minh 	Benito Mussolini
(This space reserved for 
Arthas Menethil) 	Freddie Mercury 	MI5 and all other non CIA/FBI terrorism fighting organizations	(This space reserved for 
Robert Mugabe) 	Muhammad 	Ta Mok
N 	N 	N 	N 	N 	N
Nero 	NSMC 	Nihlathak 	 	 	
O 	O 	O 	O 	O 	O
Lee Harvey Oswald 	Madalyn Murray O'Hair 	This space reserved for
Mullah Omar 	 	 	
P 	P 	P 	P 	P 	P
Pol Pot 	Augusto Pinochet 	This space reserved for
Harry Potter 	Emperor Palpatine 	Politicians and other assorted government officials	This space reserved for Vladimir Putin
Q 	Q 	Q 	Q 	Q 	Q
(This space reserved for all unlisted Al Qaeda members)	(This space reserved for Quakers) 	 	 	 	
R 	R 	R 	R 	R 	R
Gregory Rasputin 	Ronald Reagan 	Charles Carl Roberts IV 	Jacob Robida 	Gene Roddenberry 	Christopher Reeve
S 	S 	S 	S 	S 	S
Contestro Sevornkey 	Lucius Cornelius Sulla 	This space reserved for
Ashley Simpson 	Tupac Shakur 	Anna Nicole Smith 	
This space reserved for
Mickey Suttle 	 	 	 	 	
T 	T 	T 	T 	T 	T
Mao Tse-Tung 	Hideki Tojo 	Ieyasu Tokogawa 	This space reserved for
Jesse Timmendequas 	 	
U 	U 	U 	U 	U 	U
Uchiha Itachi 	This space is reserved for
Uchiha Sasuke 	 	 	 	
V 	V 	V 	V 	V 	V
Brandon Vedas 	This space reserved for
Varg Vikernes 	 	 	 	
W 	W 	W 	W 	W 	W
Willie Williams 	Oscar Wilde 	Oprah Winfrey 	 	 	
X 	X 	X 	X 	X 	X
Deng Xiaoping 	 	 	 	 	
Y 	Y 	Y 	Y 	Y 	Y
Xinhai Yang 	 	 	 	 	
Z 	Z 	Z 	Z 	Z 	Z
Giuseppe Zangara 	 	 	 	 	
== See also ==
*Hellmo
== External links ==
*Design your own Hell
Category:Hell
no:Helvete