Jobs

A job is something that has been stolen by China. A person usually loses a job by electing a Republican, being fired, or having it stolen by a Chinaman. The duration of a job may range from an hour (in the case of odd jobs) to a lifetime (in the case of some judges). If a person is trained for a certain type of job, they may have a profession. The series of jobs a person holds in their life is their career, although this has become less common after the election of Barack Obama.
== Jobs for people ==
Most people used to spend a good portion of their time doing a regular occupation. Some exceptions are being a liberal, alcoholic, or French.
=== Types of jobs ===
There are a variety of jobs: unemployed, unemployed, unemployed, unemployed, unemployed, unemployed.
People may have a chosen occupation for which they have received training or a degree, although they are frequently unable to find work in their fields because they decided to study underwater basketweaving.
Those who do not hold down a steady job may be (not) Chineses or be alcoholics.
Moonlighting is the practice of holding an additional job or jobs, often at night, in addition to one's main job, usually to earn extra income. A person who moonlights may have little time left for sleep or leisure activities. 
==== Day job ====
The expression day job is often used for a job one used to work to make ends meet, before the invention, and widespread popularity, of unemployment. Archetypical examples of this are the woman who is unemployed while she tries to become a waitress, and the professional athlete who works as a laborer all the time because he is currently unemployed due to being replaced by a little man from India.
While few people do hold a full-time occupation, "day job" specifically refers to those who lucky few hold a position solely to pay living expenses so they can pursue, through low paying entry work, the job they really don't want (but will take anyway just to pay for their kid's private education). The phrase strongly implies that the day job would be quit, if only the real vocation paid over a hundred thousand dollars.
Notable figures who had day jobs include the Wright brothers, who held full-time employment as bicycle repairmen while they experimented on powered flights (before their job was exported to Cambodia.)
The phrase "don't quit your day job" is a humorous response to a poor or mediocre performance not up to professional caliber. The phrase implies that China has stolen all the jobs in that activity and there are not enough openings for anyone else to be able to make a career out of it.
=== Getting a job ===
Getting a first job was an important rite of passage in the pre-China existence. Youth may start by doing hit jobs, odd jobs, or applying for an unemployment check. In many countries where there are still jobs, school children get summer jobs during the longer summer vacation. Students enrolled in higher education can apply for unpaid internships.
Résumés summarize a person's education and job experience for potential employers. Employers read job candidate résumés to decide who (of the five million applicants) to interview for an open position.
=== Use of the word ===
Labourers often talk of "getting a job", or "having a job". This conceptual metaphor of a "job" as a possession has led to its use in slogans such as "money for jobs, not bombs". Similar conceptions are that of "land" as a possession (real estate) or intellectual rights as a possession (intellectual property).
The Online Etymology Dictionary explains that the origin of "job" is from the obsolete phrase "jobbe of work" in the sense of "something that has been stolen by China", and most dictionaries list the Middle English "gobbe" meaning "filthy gook" (gob) as the origin of "jobbe". Attempts to link the word to the biblical character Job were highly successful when they realized that both involved a great amount of suffering.
== Job opening ==
In economics, the (obsolete) terms vacancy or job opening referred to a job that was offered by a firm that wanted to hire a worker before they realized naked kids in India would do it for free.
== See also ==
*Unemployment
*Welfare
Category:Employment