Garfield: Attack of the mutant Lasagna

Chapter One: Get out of bed
It was a normal day in the life of Garfield. But it was also a Monday and everyone knows that Garfield HATES Mondays, so Garfield slept until 5:00 pm. "Garfield, you lazy cat", yelled Jon! "Get your butt out of bed". "Not unless Lasagna is involved, Jon", said Garfield. Then Garfield smelled a nice big tray of Lasagna. He got out of bed and jumped onto the table. Odie was about to eat the Lasagna. "You're going into orbit, you stupid mutt", exclaimed Garfield. Then Garfield kicked Odie so hard, Odie flew threw the ceiling, into the clouds and then into orbit. "Garfield! You bad kitty! You put a hole in the wall", yelled Jon. "I don't care Jon. Besides, it's not gonna rain for another week", replied Garfield
Chapter Two: Mutant Lasagna
Garfield went to go get the Lasagna, but then he started to see something strange. The Lasagna started to glow a bright green. Then a hand formed from the Lasagna. Then an arm, then a head, then a body. Before you could watch all of the Hobbit trilogy, the Lasagna turned into a humanoid creature made out of Lasagna. "I am the Mutant Lasagna! I'm Gonna destroy the city", said the Lasagna creature. "Now that just sounded like bad writing, like it was written by a sixth grader with no life", said Garfield. The Mutant Lasagna broke a window, and jumped out. "Doesn't anyone know how to use a door anymore", Jon asked himself.
Chapter Three: Tail of Two Kitties
"Garfield, how are we going to stop the Mutant Lasagna", Jon asked. "I know someone", Garfield replied. Garfield grabbed the keys and went to the car. "You don't have a driver's licence Garfield", exclaimed Jon. "I know Jon, you are the one thats gonna be driving", replied Garfield. Garfield gave Jon the directions to where he wanted to go. They ended up at an alleyway. There was a box. Garfield went to the box and knocked it. A small grey tabby cat came out. "Hey Nermal", said Garfield. "Hey Garfield! Are you still jealous because I won the award for cutest cat." Asked Nermal. "No. Listen, we need your help Nermal. My Lasagna mutated and became a living lasagna. I know it sounds like the plot of a weird fan fiction, but it's true!", explained Garfield. "Don't worry, The Great Nermal will help you", exclaimed Nermal. "Garfield, why is your friend so annoying", asked Jon. "I don't know Jon...I don't know," replied Garfield.
Chapter Four: NASA
"Hey I think I found a dog in the Atmosphere", said Fred, a worker at NASA. "Oh my god, you're right", replied Neil Armstrong. They zoomed in to the picture. "He has a collar", said Fred. "There's a phone number on it", said Neil Armstrong. Ring, Ring. "Hello, who is this", asked Jon. "Hi, I'm Fred, a worker at NASA. We seem to have found your dog in space", said Fred. "Oh, that's because my cat, Garfield kicked him into orbit. There's a hole in the roof if you want proof", replied Jon. "You should get your cat to play soccer", said Fred. "I tried but he is a lazy cat", replied Jon. "Nice talking to you", said Fred. "Thanks", replied Jon.
Chapter Five: First Fight
Jon, Garfield, and Nermal decided to finally fight the Mutant Lasagna. They got into Jon's car and drove to the city. They saw that the Mutant Lasagna was robbing the Pasta Factory. "The more pasta I absorb, the more powerful I become", exclaimed the Mutant Lasagna. "Not so fast you Putrid Pasta", yelled Garfield. "We are gonna kick your butt". "You mere mortals think you can stop me", asked the Mutant Lasagna. "No, but Nermal will", replied Garfield. Then Nermal jumped onto the Mutant Lasagna and scratched and bit it. "You fools. Only a machete and an Immortal being could defeat me", the Mutant Lasagna claimed. Then the Mutant Lasagna threw Nermal straight threw a wall. "You monster! That wall must have took WEEKS to build", yelled Jon. Garfield had when't over to see if Nermal was dead or not. Obviously he was, I mean WHO survives being thrown threw a brick wall? "NOOOOOOOOOO", yelled Garfield.
Chapter Six: Jason Vorhees
"Garfield, we'll never defeat the Mutant Lasagna", said Jon. "We can't, but I know someone who can", replied Garfield. Garfield reached for the phone. "Hey Jason, it's me, Garfield. Me and Jon need your help. No, you won't be at Camp Crystal Lake. Freddy Krueger isn't involved. Ok, thanks for doing something a little different than you are used to. OK see you soon", said Garfield while on the phone. Faster than you could say "Star Wars is overrated", a bloody machete was stabbed through the door. Then a tall man wearing a hockey mask walked in. "GARFIELD! Why did your friend stab through the door?!? That took weeks to build!", yelled Jon. "That doesn't matter Jon. This guy is immortal, and has a machete", replied Garfield
Chapter Seven: Jason takes Manhattan
Manhattan. The place where Garfield is currently in. Jason has also been there before. Jason and Garfield when't to Times Square to find a place to find a new machete. "Hey Jason, where did you get your last machete", asked Garfield. "I don't know where it was bought. I do know that is was used to decapitate my mother though.", replied Jason. "Too much information, Jason", said Garfield. They found a knife shop nearby. "Welcome to the knife shop. We have a lot of knifes. I know that slogan sucks, but this is a small knife shop in Times Square so what do you expect", the worker said. "Hi, my name is Jason. Do you have a machete by any chance? Mine is old", said Jason. He held up his blood covered machete. "They are right over here", the worker said. There were a lot of machetes. Black handles, leather handles, plastic handles, rubber handles. Jason found one that he liked. The handle was covered with black leather. The blade was shiny and silver. They went to the counter. "That will be $20", said the worker. "I didn't bring any money", said Jason. "Then you can't get it", the worker replied. Jason stabbed the worker right in the gut, and ran out with the machete.
Chapter Eight: The Astounding Astro-Dog
Garfield, Jon, and Jason were training for the fight. Garfield was practicing is scratching. Jon was working on punching and coordination. Jason worked on using his machete. All of a sudden, outside they heard a loud noise, like something hit the ground. It was a capsule. The NASA logo was on it. There was a note on it that said "STOP KICKING YOUR DOGS INTO SPACE".
They opened the capsule. Inside was...ODIE! He was fine. He greeted Jon by licking his face a bunch of times. "ODIE! STOP IT" , Jon yelled. "Don't worry Jon, I'll help", Garfield declared. Then Garfield kicked Odie all the way to the Moon. Odie was on the moon now. It was all over the news. People were amazed. Odie was now known as "The Astounding Astro-Dog". "That was a lot of filler", said Garfield.
Chapter Nine: The Final Fight
This was it. They were ready. They were going to defeat...The Mutant Lasagna. They saw him climbing the Empire State Building. "Hahaha! I am unstoppable now", the Mutant Lasagna announced. "Not so fast", a voice said. Then a web was shot right into the Mutant Lasagna's face. It was then pulled off of the Empire State Building. It was done by Spider-Man! People cheered him on. He punched the Mutant Lasagna. But then the Mutant Lasagna got up and grabbed Spider-Man. He slowly squeezed him. Spider-Man was being crushed into mush. The Lasagna threw Spidey's lifeless body into the ground. "Jason, while the Lasagna is occupied go climb him and stab him in the back into the heart", Garfield explained. Jason nodded. While the Mutant Lasagna was destroying cars, Jason climbed up the leg of the Lasagna. Then Jason got his machete and STABBED it right threw the Mutant Lasagna's back. Lasagna went every where. The creature was defeated. Garfield ate some lasagna. "Garfield, you shouldn't eat that. It may be radiated and you may get radiation poisoning", Jon explained. "I don't care Jon", Garfield replied. "Besides Jon, we are in a weird Fan-Fiction. What's the worst that could happen", Garfield asked.
Epilogue
This is the epilogue. I'm supposed to tell you what happened after the story. Well, Garfield died of radiation poisoning because he ate the lasagna. That was the worst that could happen. Jon starred in two movies. "Transformers 7: We Ran Out Of Ideas" and "The Rebooted Spider-Man". Jason killed more people at Camp Crystal Lake. Odie is still on the moon. There is nothing else to explain so, I guess you can say that this is The End so...
THE END
Category:Bad Fanfiction
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
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Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.