nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
I eat my own shit

I eat my own shit. Yes I do. I know why I do it too, and you probably want to know why I do it.
Now, let me just address this: some people have accused me of being a coprophile. That's just a really big word for people like me who eat their own shit. I don't like to classify or label myself, so I just tell people, "No, I just eat my own shit." My family is very accepting of my practice and allows me to do it every Thanksgiving in front of the kids.
==The first reason as to why I consume my own faeces==
It tastes damn good. Yummy yummy. I squat onto a paper plate and just let the poop fall out onto it. Then I sprinkle it with a bit of pepper and oregano and chow down on that stinky son of a bitch. I don't even need napkins.
It's finger-lickin' good.
==The second reason as to why my excrement is a regular part of my diet==
It helps me lose weight. Losing weight is important because I am training to become a synchronized swimmer and my piano teacher said, "You're gonna need to lose at least 280 lbs. by next Friday."
I'm trying!
==The fifth reason for enjoying my poop cuisine==
I am poor and cannot afford food or window curtains. You know what that means. That means all of my neighbors see me eat my own shit. I'll admit, I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, but I really am tired of the police coming to my house and asking me about possibly moving out of the neighborhood and into a psych ward. I won't go there again, because they don't let you eat your own shit there. They make you eat shit like pizza and goulash.
==The fourth purpose for devouring my own doodoo==
I am an advocate of recycling. I believe that no waste should be wasted. This is why I also regularly drink my own urine. My urine is full of electrolytes, which are what plants crave. My urine was once yellow, but now it is red. My doctor said it has something to do with my kidneys shutting down or something like that. The funny part is that instead of my pee being yellow, my skin is turning yellow now! Speaking of which...
==The fifth reason that I eat my own shit==
I am Asian. I don't mean to be racist, but a lot of Asians eat their own shit. It's a common practice in China, Japan, and Vietnam. When American troops cut off food supplies on the Ho Chi Minh trail during the Vietnam War, they were baffled as to how the dirty pinkos didn't starve to death. It's because they ate their own shit. It wasn't out of desperation either. They just enjoyed eating their own shit.
I'm not sure if this is true or not, but I wish it was.
==The sixth reason for the mastication of my own mudpies==
My own waste is full of antioxidants and it's good for my teeth.
==In conclusion==
This is not why I lost my children to the state. They deemed me to be an unfit parent because I left my son in the car and the car was stolen by some guy named Peppers or something. This is why all of my vehicles are now rigged with explosives (the police said I could have them as long as I don't park my car in anymore handicapped parking spots).
Oh, and I eat my own shit. It’s delicious 
Category:Shit
Category:Poop
Category:Food
Category:Articles written in the first person
I just thought up a really good idea for an article, but now I can't remember it./Mint Jelly

__NOTOC__
Mint Jelly is a stupid fucking condiment that has absolutely no value. It is a terrible paste, and terrible idea for an article. I hate this stupid schlop.
==Mint jelly serves no purpose.==
God this is terrible. Why does this shit exist? It doesn't even go on anything!
==Mint jelly got in the way of my other, awesome idea.==
And now, I'm screwed. I can't believe I forgot about that awesome idea. Jesus, what the fuck was that damn idea? God! COME ON! AAARRRRRGGHHHHHH!
==Mint jelly sucks.==
Fuck it. Just.... just, fuck it.
==See how...==
...this stupid crap ruins me
Category:Food
I maed a yuky doody

==other stuff that happend==
#i squezed out a sqishy doody
#i ploppd down a stingky doody
#i pressd out a smelly doody
#i pushed out a slimy doody
#i poopd out a slippery doody
#i squashd out a greasy doody
#i shovd out a filthy doody
#i had a soggy doody
#i mead a yucy dudie
#i cwapd out o poody doddy
#i peepd ouwt a stiky jiucy
==i didnt like it! it felt so yuky!==
i was playing with my trains a LOT! so i got tired and i layed down for a nap cuz i was really sleepy by then! i had a dream where there was a biiiiiiiiig huge fudge cake and i was swimming in it and felt the choclate everywhere! but then i woke up and found out that i maed a yuky doody in my pants!!!!!!!!! it was all over the place and i tried really hard to clean it up, i tried really really hard! but i couldnt and it just felt so bad and all my sheets and the teddy bears were coverd in it. i started to cry. especially bcuz now i was getting a rash!
==i love my momy!==
but then.........MOMY CAME HOME!!!!!!!!! she cleaned it all up for me and gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me it was gona be all better. she always makes thigns better! and she did! she put some cream on my rash, washed my teddys and sheets, and poured me a biiiiiiiiiiiiiig glass of orangejuice! momys the best!
daddy came home later and mommy told him what happend, he said looks like you had a big day champ!
i sure did!
an i promissd momy i woulnt doo it nemor!
==o yea this reminds me of something else!==
one time reallllly late at night i was thirsty and was gona go ask momy to pour me another glass of water, and i went in there bedroom and saw daddy making a doody in mommys mouth!!!! it was really weird but REALLY funny! i laughed and said DAAAAAADDY!! your being silly again! mommy isnt the potty, the pottys over there!! i think they got mad at me tho cuz they started yelling and told me goaway get outta the room, then later daddy hit me again and it kinda hurt! Then I went back to slaep.
==see also==
*my doody
*my mommy
*my daddy
*me
*monkeys
Category:Poop
Category:Phrases
Category:Things That Smell
Category:Articles written in the first person
Category:Once you've seen it, you can't unsee it
Category:Yuky doody
Category:FA Non Encyclopedic
Category:FA Childhood
Category:FA Bathroom humor
I maed a yuky uncyclepeed page

:This article is the sequel to I maed a yuky doody. You may need to read I maed a yuky doody to understand this article.
== other stuff that happend ==
#i rote a baddest article
#i tpyed a yuky article
#i createed an unfuny article
#i submitd a ugly aritcle
#i shat out a crapy article
#i mead a stingky article
==i didnt like it! it felt so yuky!==
i was playying with my trains a LOT! so i got bored and i went for a compooter cuz i was really bored by then! i had a dream where there was a biiiiiiiiig huge riting award and i was takeing it and felt the happynes everywhere! but then i found out that i maed a yuky uncyclepeedia artecle about doodys on my compooter!!!!!!!!! it was being vewed and i tried raelly hard to hide it, i tried really really hard! but i couldnt and it just felt so bad and all peeple and admin's atension were on it. i started to cry. especially bcuz now i was getting a ban!
==i love jabberwok!==
but then.........JABBERWUK CAME!!!!!!!!! he rote a sequal for my aritcle. he always makes thigns better! and he did! he told it to admins and gotted my aritcle good!!! jaberwuck is the best!
kaberwuk came home later and jabberwuck told him what happend, he said looks like you had a big day champ! 
i sure did!
an i promissd momy i woulnt doo it nemor!
==o yea this reminds me of something else!==
one time reallllly late at night i was bored and was gona go ask jabberwok to find me a nother vidio game, and i went their and saw kaberwock making a yuky signs like "CAUSHION! there ar no magma blocks under the blu carpit" in mabberwuk's house!!!! it was really weird but REALLY funny! i laughed and said kabberwok!! your being silly again! maberwocks house isnt the uncyclepeedia icu!! i think they got mad at me tho cuz they started yelling and told me goaway get outta the room, then later mabberwuk hit me again and it kinda hurt! Then I went to slaep.
==See also==
*doody 
*my mommy
*my daddy
*me
*monkeys
Category:Poop
Category:Phrases
Category:Things That Smell
Category:Articles written in the first person
Category:Once you've seen it, you can't unsee it
Category:Yuky doody
I torched your signed football/names

<choose>
<option>Troy Aikman</option>
<option>Marcus Allen</option>
<option>Jerome Bettis</option>
<option>Terry Bradshaw</option>
<option>Tom Brady</option>
<option>Jim Brown</option>
<option>Dick Butkus</option>
<option>John Elway</option>
<option>Brett Favre</option>
<option>Jim Kelly</option>
<option>Floyd Little</option>
<option>Peyton Manning</option>
<option>Dan Marino</option>
<option>Joe Montana</option>
<option>Joe Namath</option>
<option>Walter Payton</option>
<option>Jerry Rice</option>
<option>Barry Sanders</option>
<option>Deion Sanders</option>
<option>O.J. Simpson</option>
<option>Kenny Stabler</option>
<option>Roger Staubach</option>
<option>Lynn Swann</option>
<option>Johnny Unitas</option>
<option>Reggie White</option>
<option>Steve Young</option>
<option>Brian Bosworth</option>
<option>David Carr</option>
<option>Jeff George</option>
<option>Ryan Leaf</option>
<option>Byron Leftwich</option>
<option>Tommy Maddox</option>
<option>Rick Mirer</option>
<option>Craig Morton</option>
<option>Lawrence Phillips</option>
<option>JaMarcus Russell</option>
<option>Heath Shuler</option>
<option>Akili Smith</option>
<option>Doug Williams</option>
<option>Vince Lombardi</option>
<option>Hank Stram</option>
</choose>
Category:Article subpages
I will never forget

Don't you know how important today is?!? What do you mean, what happened today?!?
Today is a day that will live on in infamy! Don't you know what infamy means? It means you fucking remember! I mean, I would have expected this from one of those god damned liberals, but not you!
==Everytime I see one of them towel-headed...==
...sand-niggers, I remember! I always sit there wondering, "What kinda bomb is this sand-nigger gonna blow me up with today?", because that's what sand-niggers do, they blow you up! So I go up to him, and go all like "I dunno what you're doin' here, sand-nigger, but we here folk don't like bein' blown up, so why don't you just saddle up and head outta town! We don't like your kind 'round here!" Try and apply for a job at the corner store, will he? I sure showed him...
==Everytime I watch one of those liberal pansy-assed...==
...news channels, I remember! I watch one of them there pansies, sittin' there in their fancy elitist suits, at their fancy elitist desks, reading their fancy elitist teleprompters, tellin' me how "President" Osama is gonna be pulling troops out of I-Rack, so I shout at him "Don't you remember?!? We need to find those dirty sand-niggers who did it! Oh Lord, he's one of them sand-niggers himself!"
==So I get me and the boys together...==
...and we celebrate remembering! We go out to fight the War on Terra and beat up some of them there sand-niggers down the street! So they're all shouting, "We're only 12!", so we shout back, "Shut up sand-nigger! This is for America!" So we go get some beers and beat up some more of them there sand-niggers! Their sand-nigger parents come out shouting some jibberish at us in I-Racky, so we just shout "You're next, sand-nigger!", and then they go and call some number on their sand-nigger phone, and say that we're abusing their sand-nigger spawn!
==And then some coppers get here...==
And we remember! There were all kinds of coppers then! When them sand-niggers came and did all that "Allalalalalah!" shit with the airplanes, someone called the coppers!
==You still can't remember?!?==
You fuckin' Commie!
How could you forget my birthday?
Category:September 11 attacks
Category:Things George Bush most certainly cares about
Category:Articles written in the first person
Category:FA 9/11‏
Category:FA USA
Category:FA History
Category:FA Middle East‏
Category:FA Politics‏‏‏
Ice

Ice is an improved, portable version of water, the handy household cleaning product, and is available in a variety of flavours, the most popular being Vanilla. Contact your stockist for details. Ice reproduces through sexual reproduction. If the zygotes are removed from ice, the ice can be grown in a laboratory to produce golf balls.
Ice is one major attribute where bluedevil reigns. It is rumoured that bluedevil has ultimate powers of ice/snow and is protecting earth today.
'Ice' is also known as the second and perhaps surname of a once-famous bastard white rap artist, Vanilla Ice. To date, this can not be confirmed because a trace of his origin yields only a birth certificate listing an inter-racial gay male 70's disco musician couple as legal guardians but neither the white community nor the black community in America will take credit for him, thereby lending illegitimacy to Vanilla Ice's heritage and skepticism regarding his true surname.
'Ice' is also the street name for a drug made of various toxic and flammable liquids. The mix combinations may vary but critical requirements to properly manufacture 'Ice' include an education no higher than 5th grade, a trailer located in the desert of the US State of Arizona, the absence of several teeth, and uniform apparel consisting of a black leather biker vest; some time spent as a guest on the Jerry Springer Show as well as inbred heritage have inexplicably proven to result in higher production yields. The appearance and consistency of the drug is that of a rough, yellow substance similar to what would be found encrusted on a dirty handkerchief or inside Hillary Clinton's panties. Once very popular in the US Senate, 'Ice' has since been spreading into mainstream Canadian culture, except that the users in Canada have confused yellow snow for the drug and eating and snorting yellow snow has no known feelings of exhilaration and sharpening of focus like the actual drug does but, the Canadian variant does give the user an ice cream headache.
As one would expect, ice was invented in Canada. Since Canada consists of 99.9% ice, they figured they could make a lot of money by selling some to others.
Ice continues to be popular today, and currently enjoys success as a major component in enhancing theatrical performances.
== See Also ==
* Canada
* On ice
* Iceland
* Vanilla Ice
* University of Antarctica
* The Ice Mage Mage
* Ice Spice
Vanilla Ice
Category:Cold Things
bar:Eis
da:Is
de:Eis
es:Hielo
hr:Led
it:Ghiaccio
ja:氷
ko:얼음
nds:Eis
nn:Is
no:Is
pl:Lód
pt:Gelo
sk:Ľad
zh:冰
Ice Cream Diet

thumb|right|250px|As long as you only have a small one, It'll be fine I'm sure
The Ice Cream Diet is a popular and effective cure for obesity.
The method, which was invented by an ancient eskimo, enables a person to lose weight without the troublesome physical activities of alternative diets.
It is interesting that both Nero and Julius Caesar (who invented ice cream) overlooked the effects on women.
== Method ==
The Ice Cream Diet exploits the fact that ice cream is very very cold, and that the human body therefore consumes more energy from heating the ice cream, than it gains from digesting it.
It is a well known fact, that being skinny means being happy. Many Hollywood movies demonstrate this fact by showing depressed women eating a lot of ice cream, so they can lose weight, and feel better about themselves.
One of the key ingredients in ice cream which is responsible for the amazing weight loss is uncut cocaine. That's why you see so many celebrates blowing coke they are eliminating the middle man and brain freeze. If you look on the label of the ice cream container it's not listed but that doesn't mean it's not there (like Santa). If you buy "lightly churned" varieties the diet won't work.
This can be put into practical use, say, before a date or work meeting, by rushing to the nearest ice cream guy or stand. Or, for the finesse in us, buy some Häagen-Dazs from the nearest supermarket.
== History ==
Since the beginning of time scientists have tried to improve the ice cream diet, by engaging fat guinea pigs in the diet, and monitoring their weight. Unfortunately, guinea pigs eat their ice cream so slowly, it simply melts before sufficiently reducing their body temperature. Other species of animals can eat ice cream much faster, but they are not nearly as scientific as guinea pigs. Rats simply get hyperactive, and chimpanzees get addicted.
When Anna Nicole Smith tried the Ice Cream Diet she failed miserably, due to the fact that her body temperature is well below that of ice cream.
== What to Avoid ==
After a big load of ice cream (preferably Häagen-Dasz) people then eat chocolate, pie, trees, cake (even though it's a lie), and a cookie named "OH HELP ME GOD!!!!"
This is, of course, largely irrelevant to 99.498% of living creatures because it doesn't actually tell you how to avoid anything. Basically, avoid any strenuous method of obtaining ice cream because this completely defeats the point of the diet. This is explained as due to building up excessive body heat and therefore melting the ice cream just by looking at it or possibly hitting it with vibrating "stomach muscles".
And, obviously, there's no point in eating toffee flavour, because that's just not healthy at all!
==See also==
* The Rubens Diet
Category:Health
Idealism

Idealism is a branch of philosophy dealing with the relationship between the conscious perceptions of the human mind and physical objects in the surrounding environment. Idealists assert either one of three things and therefore belong to one of three schools of thought:
#Those who believe that chairs don’t exist.
#Those who believe that tables don’t exist.
#Those who believe that trees don't exist.
If you’ve ever been lectured by an idealist then you’ll know all they ever talk about is the non-existence of either chairs, tables or trees outside the window. The no-chair-idealists benefit from having a desk on which they can write their philosophical theories whereas the no-table-idealists enjoy sitting time during which they can continuously ponder why exactly they have no hard surfaces to write on. The no-tree-idealists have the comforts of desks and chairs, but no trees to sit under and be hit on the head with apples. No-tree-idealists do in fact believe in windows, otherwise they could not look out of the window to describe the tree which does not exist.
When someone subscribes to the beliefs of idealism they are made to choose from one of the three movements (no-chair, no-table, no-tree). Those who mistakenly try and adopt more that one of these doctrines are referred to as dualists (that is: one who believes in the non-existence of tables, chairs and trees), which is a rival branch of philosophy. Those who follow the non-treeistic doctrine, plus one of the other two, find this a considerable impediment when asked to write about the non-existence of trees. 
==Criticisms==
Swedish furniture-venders IKEA maintain that their chairs and tables do in fact exist and that any change in the common belief that their chairs and tables do exist (and for such low prices) would be contradictory to their advertisement campaigns, which regrettably rely predominantly on the existence of their chairs and tables in order to sell the aforementioned chairs and tables.
==Isaac Newton on Notreeism==
Isaac Newton is considered the first person to have come up with a theory for the impossibility of notreeism, his theory runs as follows -
#The theory of the wisdom of the crowd is correct.
#Most believe that I was hit on the head with an apple falling from a tree.
#Therefore, trees must exist for apples to fall off them.
You will notice that theory is fundamentally flawed as it contains no reference to the dropping of pens. Others have realised that to write down this theory, Newton must have been sitting on a chair, and using a table, most sensible people will realise that one of these two items is not necessary for the construction of a theory.
==Factional movements==
Popular films such as The Matrix occasionally claim that tables and chairs do in fact exist but that it is only spoons which are subject to non-existence.
==See also==
*Solipsism
*Kangaroos
*Gravity
*Anthropic principle
category:philosophy
de:Idealismus
Idolatry

Idolatry is the worshiping of an object as if it was God. The object could be a statue, an image, an app, or even a person whom may have existed or not, like Jesus. Sometimes, just saying that thing is God, is considered idolatry. Idolatry was created by the British in 2001 as a reality musical franchise, but it was common among Golden Calf-worshiping Jews long before that, by Jesus Cracker-eating Christians a bit later, and by Muhammad-painting non-Muslims in more recent years. Idolatry is also sometimes used by Motörhead and Brazil fans.
In Uncyclopedia, idolatry is being practiced by the worshiping of Sophia, the goddess of Uncyclopedia. In Wikipedia, idolatry is the worshiping of Jimbo Wales. In the Internet in general idolatry is widely known as googling.
God himself is actually the only non-animal being for whom idolatry is not forbidden. God can worship whatever he wants to, because he's God. Also, God doesn't have to follow his own rules - they were created for people.
==Animals==
Animals can also worship whatever they want to. The rules of God don't imply to animals. The reason for that is that animals usually don't watch reality TV shows, so they are not total shitheads. They could never believe that a statue makes Earth revolve around the Sun, or that Instagram has sculptured Beyoncé's butt. To animals, God is nature, and God's laws are the laws of nature; so if it starts raining frogs, for example, they just KNOW that it's God who's doing it, so there's nothing to worry about.
Say we were all animals who have evolved to a point that we can read (and write) an article. So, to us, anything bizarre that happens in this article from now on, is made by God. Which means that I am God.
===Sheep===
"Sheep" is a song from "Animals".
====It was written by Roger Waters.====
Boy, this is bizarre. If Rafiki from Lion King was here, he would totally worship my ass right about now. I'm not even sure what to do next.
==You should totally start worshiping yourself, just like Roger Waters does.==
===OK, great idea, I'll do that. Wow, I'm so fucking awesome! I should autofellatio myself & shit!!===
*
Category:Idiots
Category:One True Gods
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Category:Sophia