nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Listen Up Guys

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Preface by current president of Gabon, Ali Bongo Ondimba, son of Omar Bongo.
"Listen Up Guys" is a famous speech by Omar Bongo, deceased former president of Gabon, targeted at the denizens of Uncyclopedia, who are a racist, hateful people whose only purpose in life is to incite the righteous fury of the Gabonese people. Omar Bongo, in his infinite wisdom, thought it was best to spread his views on the evils of racism by posting them on an obscure joke wiki which gets less hits than lolcats.com, rather than television. His groundbreaking and revolutionary treatise on the evils of racism on Uncyclopedia will surely be heard from all corners of the globe. We will miss you Omar Bongo. I love you.
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Full transcript of the non-televised speech from the President of Gabon to Uncyclopedia.
--El Hadj Omar Bongo Ondimba
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Footnotes for the non-televised Speech from the President of Gabon to Uncyclopedia.
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Link to original transcript of the speech unedited
Category:Racist articles
Listen to Your Heart

Listen to Your Heart was a heart-health public awareness campaign sponsored by the Cardiological Institute of America. A heartrending song for the campaign was composed and performed by the Swedish pop music group Roxette.
The campaign and song were initially discredited by experts because it caused many hypochondriacs to demand an immediate heart examination by the nearest available cardiologist. Ultimately, the song's effect was a general paralysis of the public health care queueing system, which could not be fully alleviated until additional Federal funding was granted by the United States Congress (P.L. 47-273.22), allowing 1,255 new Cardiological Physician posts to be recruited throughout the U.S.
Nevertheless, in recognition of the musicians' contributions to the welfare of cardiologists, the Cardiological Institute awarded Roxette the 1997 Certificate of Merit and honorary cardiologist licensure.
This, unfortunately, led to tragedy when the members of Roxette, realizing the best and most lucrative years of their musical careers were already behind them, decided to open a heart-surgery clinic in downtown Stockholm. Before they could be stopped, and their licenses revoked, a total of 17 heart-disease patients were killed in what has been called the "worst series of open-heart surgery disasters of our times." The incident is still under investigation, but a spokesman for Roxette recently announced that the group was "really very sorry" and hopes to "make amends soon" by releasing their "best album ever," just in time for next year's Grammy nominations.
A new policy since enacted by the Cardiological Institute stipulates that no Swedes may ever be allowed to practice cardiology ever again, anywhere, or at least not until a newer and sexier pop group is found to produce an equally-successful international smash-hit single for the Institute.
An MP3 version of the song was recently made available on iTunes, reportedly containing subliminal messages exhorting the listener to consume vast quantities of butter, bacon, and fried chicken.
==See also==
* Open-Heart Surgery for Dummies
* Listen To Your Mom
category:Medicine
category:Songs
Literary laboratory

A literary laboratory or lit-lab is an ideal place to research literary works,Harald Northug: Hamartia ved peisen: En litteraturhistorisk analyse av litterære laboratorier, 2002 and is found in most dignified universities. A lit-lab must contain a fireplace, a comfortable chair, a dog (other household pets may be used, but that's quite controversial even today), a decent lamp for lightning and access to hot chocolate.Anders "Indirekte Objekt" Iversen: Gleden av å lese foran peisen, 2004 In some traditions of learning, a tobacco pipe is recommended. This is problematic in some countries, like in Norway, where smoking indoors in public places and buildings of learning is strictly prohibited.
== History ==
Historians claim that lit-labs already existed in a primitive form in the ancient world – primarily in the Roman, Greek and Egyptian civilizations – although other animals were used and cocoa and tobacco weren't common.
In the Arab world, lit-labs expanded in the middle ages due to the fruit tobacco pipes in the Middle East.
During the renaissance in Europe, the amount of lit-labs expanded with the increase of universities and other institutions of learning. There were also many private lit-labs. The most famous one is found in Florence (Firenze), Italy, where Leonardo da Vinci had his own lit-lab. And as in many other fields, Leonardo was way ahead of his time, and traces of hot chocolate have been found on Leonardo's desk.Sveinung Fauskevåg: Utviklingen av litterære laboratorier under Renessansen, 2004
== References ==
== Further reading ==
* Helge Edmark: Hva er forskjellen på et litterært laboratorium og en vanlig peiskrok (for faen)?!, 2005
* Giorgio Chabert: Jeg reiser ikke hjem for å late meg, men for å arbeide i mitt litterære laboratorium, 2005
Category:Literature
Little San Juan (Holyoke, Massachusetts)

Little San Juan
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Little San Jaun was an American State that admitted to the union in May 1992. Founded on the premise that "no man is an island" and "But you can't win them all" the state was consumed back into Massachusetts once the Rebellion of Holyoke was put down in June 1992. 
==History==
The History of Holyoke, Massachusetts is a very long one. The city was largely White at one time. However things changed once students at Mout Holyoke burned their bras and get their groins a flame in the name of equal rights for women. This created a perfect scenerio for White Flight, and since nature especially abhores a vacuum in Mt. Holyoke, the city was soon run by Puerto Ricans. 
When the United States government put in place political correctness and Affirmative Action, it completely crushed the White population because no longer did they control the city they had absolutley no power over the thieving hordes of Puerto Ricans. 
==Hispanic Anarchy==
Every book, sign, and Television show in the city has been translated into Spanish leaving the White minority cut off from the out side world. Many of the the White people have been brainwashed into thinking that Puerto Ricans and other non-White peoples who have invaded the city are supposedly "good hardworking people", only smart people know this is false.
==Demographics==
As of the census of 2000, there were 39,838 people, 14,967 households, and 9,474 families residing in the city.
Holyoke has the highest concentration of Puerto Ricans of any city, state, or country outside Puerto Rico.http://www.epodunk.com/ancestry/Puerto-Rican.html Always a city of working-class immigrants, ( although the Puerto Ricans don't work; they sit on their asses all day collecting Welfare ) the first wave of mill workers was predominantly Irish, and Holyoke still has a major St. Patrick's Day parade every year. Later waves of immigration led to significant communities of Poles and then, starting in the 1950s, the Puerto Ricans who form the largest majority today and now control the entire city.
==See Also==
* Holyoke, Massachusetts
== References ==
Category:Cities in Massachusetts
Little old lady

Little old ladies are bags of brittle calcium and failing organs, created for young people (i.e. people with souls) to mock, spit on, and shove around for purposes of hilarity.
The little old lady phenomenon is generally confined to particular places at particular times of day. Strangely, little old ladies spontaneously appear in supermarkets, hairdressers, banks, post offices and town centres at 10am, persisting in many of these places throughout the lunchtime period and undergoing a rapid age regression into screaming schoolchildren at approximately 3:30pm.
The reverse of this regression, that of school children spontaneously changing into little old ladies, has never been observed. It is presumed that this effect either takes place in a wormhole or on a whole new dimensional plane.
There are only three places that little old ladies persist at all times of the day or night:
* A Casino - usually found carrying large cups of coins and staggering around looking for the exit.
* Nursing homes
* Hospitals
In Spain, Africa and other parts of Europe, little old ladies are mysteriously granted superhuman strength at the age of 70, allowing them to carry all sorts of things for miles and miles. The record is still held by 96 year old Gladys who was spotted in the North of the United Kingdom carrying sixteen donkeys, three children, a Morris Minor and her handbag, for a combined weight of approximately 8 tons.
Little old ladies are easy to spot. They're the ones with a blue rinse hobbling along using a zimmer frame or walking stick when they think people are watching and zipping around on pogo sticks and juggling donkeys when we're not.
== Warning! Don't answer the door! ==
If a little old lady knocks at your door, it's normally to trick you into yodeling - as can be seen from the following conversation:
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Little old lady"
"Little old lady who?"
"Quit yodeling and open the door already!"
"LAMAZ?!"
==Warning! She probably knows your grandad==
Theoretically, if she really has lived through the last 4 world wars like she says she has, she will at some point have slept with or married your grandad or great-grandad. On all accounts do not mention any old male person in the immediate vicinity of a little old lady because that deafness just vanishes like SHE-BANG and she races over and holds your arm in an iron grip till you die of thirst or she asplodes. Not pretty.
If she doesn't asplode you will be subject to sexually graphic retellings of her being raped and enjoying it. She might even have to demonstrate. RUN.
== See also ==
* Olds
* LOL
* Beach Boys
Category:Old Farts
Category:Women
Category:People who will probably be dead tomorrow
Live

Live may refer to:
*alive
*living
*Live birth
*Live vaccine
==Arts==
*Live Art - BZZZZT! when art meets electricity, live art occurs.
*Live Cinema - Cinema and the dark art of animating the dead go hand in hand to create this pleasurable experience
*Live Geek - Watch the GEEKS FRY!
*Live Film - watch the geeks fry!
*Live music (concert) Hear the GEEkS fry
*Recorded live track
*Live album
*Live (album), a list of albums titled Live
*Live (band), an alternative rock band
*Live Aid, a multi-venue rock music concert held on July 13, 1985 to get Bob Gelof Loads of money
*Live 8, Another concert because Bob's national reserve was running low.
== Media ==
* Live broadcast - Watch the geeks Fry
* Live television - Watch the geeks fry
* Live radio - Watch the geeks Fry!
* Live with Regis and Kelly, a syndicated American television talk show - Frying GEEKS
* 938LIVE!, a Singapore radio station on a radio
* BBC Radio Five Live, the BBC's radio service providing 30 minute recorded News, telephones, and sport.
==Information and Communication Technologies==
* Windows Live, the collective brand name for a group of Rubbish currently under development
* Microsoft Office Live, An office that lives
* Xbox Live, online gaming service for Microsoft's Xbox and Xbox 360 video game consoles
* Ableton Live, a software music sequencer
==See also==
Electricity
LiveWire

LiveWire is an on-line community of rapists, cats, and homosexuals seeking technical and emotional support. The average member is 56, male and goes by the on-line name of Babycakes, Sweet Cheeks, Power Top, or something of similar value. The goal of the project is to provide a safe and supportive environment for males from around the globe to pose as young girls while getting their kicks reading about each others manginas. This is done through an on-line forum designed from the bottom up by teens (read: child labourers in sub Saharan Africa). Their slogan is, "Butt sex. Kitten huffing. Period."
==Features==
* eHelp: Slow, anonymous replies from a panel of morons, sent by email. No account is required for the use of this service although for attention seeking purposes, it is preferred.
** Support Leaders are users who have proven their ability to help and support others by posting on the forums and by submitting a peer-approved application for SL-status. The application process includes many stages allowing members to 'prove their worth.' Tasks range from spelling their name correctly (and using a capital letter at the start), providing Oral to the members higher up on the chain and to a full on 45 minute battle with a tomato during which, they must outwit the fruit and dazzle it with intelligence. More often than not, the tomato wins.
*Safe environment: the site is completely anonymous allowing Alfred, a 58 year old male from Cincinnati to pose as his 12 year old daughter without detection or capture by his colleagues at Microsoft. 
* Teen, College, and Tech forums, to help a growing list of homosexuals relieve their urges as they want. From geek to cheerleader, LiveWire is open to all who can fuck and love dog penis.
==History==
The idea for LiveWire was conceived in 2000 by a panel of rare, lesser spotted teens from a town in Oregon(not to be confused with the popular herb, oregano, which they happened to be smoking while they thought of it). Two high school sophomores, Batman and Robin, were asked to design and create a medium for adults posing as teenagers to connect with others just like them in order to receive free "peer support". This was done to replace a sex hotline that was becoming less and less popular as more material was available on the internet without cost. The original website went on-line on January 1, 337.
==Heroes of LiveWire==
Lepperking - Scourge of the LiveWire underworld, protector of the innocent.
Outer Haven - King of Random Post, Emo Fag Astronaut.
MyCuteFiend - Does not post annyoing post but very cute ones. 
==Criminal Masterminds==
Davjs - Convicted Kiddy fiddler, currently serving a life sentence in Gotham prison.
BlueAutomatic - Convicted for being lovely and a heroic member of aforementioned forums. Also well known for having a username that many are unable to spell, thus having to go around correcting them.
Category:Internet
Category:Piracy
Livejournal

Livejournal is an internationally-acclaimed news service, with contributing writers who represent a nascent force in the modern media called "citizen journalists". They are widely regarded by experts as some of the most talented, professional, mature, and non-biased expert journalists on the Internet, astounding readers with their novel mix of emotional neutrality and critical integrity. The Internet offers no better source of information regarding crucial and profound issues such as "OMFG Lydia iz soooo like GAY and shit lyk tat" or balanced commentary on "the darkness engulfs my soul" and "NO MOM I DONT WANT TO GO TOO BED YOUR GAY".
Concerned masses are content to find the Livejournal Project to be an exemplary bastion of propriety and proficiency on the frontiers of grammar. It is a reassuring fact that in a world of commas, colons and clauses, we will always have the Livejournal contributors, using their intricate combination of poor spelling, worse grammar, and occasionally 1337 to balance the world.
The Livejournal project, started in 1976 by Linus Torvalds (who was German until he moved) was originally started as a search engine service. However, with the help of EFF (Enrico Fermi Flagellum) free speech advocate John Ashcroft, it blossomed into the widely respected news service it is today.
Former President Bill Clinton has praised Livejournal as a place "where like-minded young boys and men can meet and have a good time". Interestingly, Jerry Falwell and Clinton met on Livejournal before getting married in 2004.
According to a controlled study by a prominent research team at the Haverford College, Livejournal (and a competing news agency, Xanga) possess radically diverse writing staffs.
You can see that the writers at LiveJournal.com come from a wide variety of backgrounds, with 16% minorities, 84% Goth and a full 0% writers of African descent.
Edit:There are at least four black people in LJ. I swear it!
==See also==
*MySpace
*High school girls
==External Links==
*Offical website
Category:æ
Category:Blogs
Category:Fads
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Category:Websites
Category:FA Internet‏
ru:ЖЖ
Liver

The liver is an organ that most people have, but doesn't fulfill any special need of the body. In fact, the liver does nothing. His name comes from the fact that it lives on other organs' resources, taking valuable blood supply from the appendix, the nails, and the bunions. 
The liver is an evil organ. When the liver fails, it usually says "I'm not dying without taking some bastards with me," causing the death of other, actually important organs in the process. Some lucky people can get a liver transplant, a process that allows to trade in their liver for a less pissed-off one. However, this process usually causes the death of the donor, and it hurts. This has opened a serious debate about using live, non-consenting human donors for any kind of transplant. 
The average human has two livers, but some people are born with only one; selfish bastards.
A notable victim of a pissed off-liver (resulting in a desire to kill everything that moves) is the late Walt Disney, who was forced to undergo a liver transplant when it was discovered he was writing a script for a second Bambi movie, ending with a gory collision - between Bambi and a semi-trailer - which lasted for just over 3/4 of a mile.
In summary, the liver must be punished with alcohol.
==Liver Penisites==
If you go the bathroom without washing your hands, or if you wash your hands without going to the bathroom, your liver will get penisites. Remedies for common liver penisites are:
*Tapeworm: take a roll of tape and cut it with scissors. These little bastards will be afraid and will come out all rolled up.
*Liver Flukes: teach them a sense of shame.
*Exchange Students: drink molten lava.
*Bacteria: reason with them.
*Hamsters: remove liver with penknife, wash thoroughly, replace.
==Things to Help your Liver==
Fried cheese is good for your liver. Due to the amount of oil in fried cheese, it neutralizes the alcohol in it. A super-scientific study has also shown that living in Canada for three years without shoes on, the liver fungus may grow which gives you candy. Regardless of how bored you get, you should not cut out your liver with a nail clipper and eat it. An exception may be made if you are attending a lecture class at Harvard or are Japanese.
==Liver as food==
Liver may be eaten by old people or crazy people. When cooked, it smells like diarrhea, one of the few things old people can taste. Insane people like to eat it because they're unable to tell the difference between the smell of diarrhea and something that people actually like to eat. 
Category:Anatomy
Category:Evil body parts
Category:Vital articles
cs:Játra podle majora Sojky
de:Leber
el:Συκώτι
es:Hígado
gl:Fígado
it:Fegato
pt:Fígado
Liverpool Echo

The Liverpool Echo is a popular newspaper-cum-eulogy column for victims of drive-by shootings in the greater Liverpool metropolitan area. First published in the early 80's, initial sales were slow until journalists began handing out assault weapons to teens in Cromtembumbleburyworthshire, Umptonwickerhickershitedonham, and Tuipp. in the hope that their "Entirely independent and uninflunenced life choices" with said weaponry would result in better news stories.
== News Trends ==
The Liverpool Echo is known for recycling its headlines every week. Typically, they include:
*Monday: Two Shot in Gun Terror
*Tuesday: Mother Tells of Grief at Drive-By Shooting
*Wednesday: Three Held on Suspicion of Manslaughter
*Thursday: Ram-Raid Gang Convicted
*Friday: Teenager Arrested on Suspicion of Gang Execution
*Saturday: Grief of Gun-Victim Family
*Sunday: Teen Stabbed at Government-Subsidised Housing Sunday Community BBQ
== Controversy ==
An unnamed group of truly certified experts released a study in 2006 arguing that the Liverpool Echo does not help the "General mood within Liverpool" nor the "Outside perception" by failing to include any positive news about the area. In a 2008 interview, editor Sir Anthony Killalot retorted with the following quote:
Other analysts guess that the actual point of the newspaper is to make Liverpool the most notorious city in all of developed Europe. An insider who's contact even asked to be kept anonymous told of the pride they feel: "We think its thrilling to live in such a rough and tumble town. We may never make any roadways into the kind of mayhem you find in Moscow suburbs, nor anything those bad ass Ukrainians can dish out, but we are commited to making Liverpool one hell of a city to write murder colums about".
The newspaper has begun an afternoon competition for commuters who try to make it home during the green zone (the hours when it is safe after work and before dinner to travel). FOX News is mentoring the Newspaper and is considering opening up an affiliate channel, a spokesperson adding: "They have a lot to learn about taking the drama and mundanity of drive-by murders and consistently keeping it interesting, but with so much expertise behind us, we are convinced we can set up a fair and balanced subsidiary news station in Liverpool."
== Footnotes ==
Category:British media
Category:Newspaper
Living

Living involves not dying. Living has been attempted by many people but, so far, has only been mastered by a few. Everyone who has lived, has died, except for the 6.77 billion people who continue to try living today. Living was invented by single cell microorganisms in the year 3,500 B.C. (citation needed), although no one knows for sure which microorganisms invented living, it is believed his name was Winston J. Humpheries the third.
The idea of living has been embraced by the human race; in fact, many humans have named a room in their house after it.
== Living Failures ==
The Dinosaurs, who once made a decent attempt at living, failed miserably when they became extinct 4,000 years ago. 
Fruit Flies live for only a single day, making them the most inept species at living. This also proves the theory that eating fruit will kill you.
Those people who attempt the following often fail at living:
* Kissing a polar bear 
* Talking to a snake
* Catching a piano dropped from a 5 story building
* Making love to a chain saw
* Eating McDonalds for three consecutive meals
* Moving to Africa
* Offering rides to hitchhikers wearing hockey masks
* Messing around with Jim (or, possibly, Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown)
* Having sex with a monkey
* Entering a knife eating contest, and
* Practicing dentistry on an alligator.
*Using the ejector button on a helecopter.
== Successful attempts at living ==
Other than Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Dick Clark and Cher, Turtles have been the most successful at living. They have the ability to live forever, but often take their own lives after 200-300 years, due to the depression of being mocked by faster animals.
A 'liver' is someone who lives to his or her fullest potential. Ironically, many times these people need a new liver from living so vivaciously.
== Debates ==
There are many ongoing debates about living, including:
* When it begins
* Can we terminate it
* Is Elvis doing it.
* Is it really worth it?
All these questions are answered by a simple yes...I mean no...well, yes, you've got a point...no, forget what I just said - the answer is yes...strike that, no.
== The End ==
When you are about to stop living (see dying) you come to realize you should have spent much more time in the office. People often say these words just before their living experience ends:
* I think I can make it.
* Are you sure this wire if off ?
* No, I'm fine, seriously. I love you man.
* Is this parachute strapped on correctly ?
* Nobody double dog dares me.
* Yes O.J., I will marry you.
* Is that an iceberg ?
Category:Hobbies
Category:Activities
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