Crystal ball

<choose>
<option>If at first you don't succeed,maybe skydiving isn't for you</option>
<option>Don't eat yellow snow</option>
<option>Ahead lies certain doom!Proceed with caution.</option>
<option>Don't tell any big lies today.Small ones can be just as effective!</option>
<option>This will be a memorablemonth no matter how hardyou try to forget.</option>
<option>Afternoon very favourablefor romance. Try a singleperson for a change.</option>
<option>Beware of low-flying butterflies.</option>
<option>You may be recognized soon. Hide.</option>
<option>You are never alonewith schizophrenia.</option>
<option>You are only young once butyou will stay immature indefinitely.</option>
<option>One way to stop a runawayhorse is to bet on it!.</option>
<option>A lie in time saves nine.</option>
<option>On a clear disk youcan seek forever.</option>
<option>There's no futurein time travel</option>
<option>Nil carborundum illegitimae</option>
<option>Time flies like an arrow!Fruit flies like a banana!</option>
<option>It is impossible for an optimistto be pleasantly surprised.</option>
<option>There are no rules of architecturefor castles in the sky.</option>
<option>Murphy was an optimist.</option>
<option>Murphy was an asshole.</option>
<option>The man who smiles when thingsgo wrong has thought ofsomeone to blame it on</option>
<option>It is bad luck to be superstitious.</option>
<option>Every silver lining has a cloud.</option>
<option>The light at the end of thetunnel may be an oncoming train.</option>
<option>Today is not your day!</option>
<option>Do not believe in miracles.Rely on them.</option>
<option>Drive defensively. Buy a tank.</option>
<option>Advice for worms:Get up late!</option>
<option>Never try to outstubborn a cat.</option>
<option>Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.</option>
<option>Everything you can imagine is real.</option>
<option>I need a computer!</option>
<option>This is a place for crazy people. I'm not crazy.</option>
<option>I may be full of crap, but it's superior crap.</option>
<option>Christians don't believe in gravity.</option>
<option>That is what a 404 error feels like.</option>
<option>Every sentence deserves a good save.</option>
<option>All your base are belong to us.</option>
<option>Gallum galla gilla ma.</option>
<option>You will soon discover the secret to making delicious sandwiches.</option>
</choose>	
		
Crystal Ball is the older sister of television actor Lucille Ball. Unlike her more famous sibling, Crystal never made it big in show business and had to settle for a job in a travelling show, telling fortunes and predicting the future. It was a hard life, travelling from town to town abord a horse-drawn gypsy carriage, but Crystal was a success and her ability to predict the future became renowned far and wide.
Crystal ball gazers are the most reliable and unrefuteable sources. The WMD's in iRAQ, OJ simpsons innocence, Y2K, and Kelley Clarkson's musical talents were all predicted by crystal ball gazers. Also known as Ballers, most crystal ball gazers have had underground rap careers. There have been several sellout ballers who make small time TV shows. The Pet Pyschic was most well known. Many people write very stupid, blatant lies about crystal ballers. (Look above and below).
Crystal balls themselves have existed for thousands of thousands of years. The first was found in a giant, prehistoric clam by a regular-sized but equally prehistoric man. However, it was not until the discovery of crystal meth that these balls were reported to have any supernatural powers. After doing crystal, mediums would often say that they could look into the depths of the crystal ball and see the future. This was widely accepted as fact during medieval times, when everyone was too dumb and dirty to figure out why only dumb, dirty, ugly and crazy old women bothered to make a career by looking into a crystal ball.
 
During the late 1900s archealogist and part-time transvestite Melrose Montgomery made the shocking declaration that the source of the crystal ball's power was, in fact, crystal meth. Though Montomery had intended to discredit crystal balls, he actually inspired a generation of meth addicts, all of whom claimed to know the future. Ironically, their own future did not show much.
Montgomery now resides in his home along the sunny beaches of Canada, and runs an all-night fortune-telling bar called "Melrose Place."
==See also==
* Tarot Cards
* Ouija Board
Category:Magic
Category:Evil
Category:New Age