nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Breaking Bad Ruined Our Sex Life

So as the title states, BB has ruined our sex life. It started with us getting frisky to the show, and devolved to the point where we can't even have sex without it on.
If I'm on top I'll watch the show while I do my thing. We both turn our heads to the side and watch it on the TV. We love doggy style because we can both watch it at the same time. Originally missionary was our favourite due to the intimacy, but we stopped it because we couldn't watch the show.
A bit innocent so far, but the memes are where it goes downhill.
There's a meme of Mike Ehrmantraut going "Walter. Put your dick away Walter. I'm not having sex with you right now."
Now we found this absolutely hilarious and it somehow devolved into it being incorporated; If one wants sex and the other doesn't, the immediate reply is doing a Mike impression and going "Put your dick away Walter."
What's even worse is that we changed it to say "Get your dick out Walter" or "Let me see those 8balls, Walter." If we do want to have sex. I can't even remember the last time either of us asked for sex normally.
Not only that, but during the act itself we make jokes about it.
"I'm like Walter and you're like Mike, cuz I'm about to shoot something into your stomach!"
"I'm gonna make a meth outta you!"
"Choke me like Walt did to Krazy 8!"
"*in a Jesse voice* Yo I'm bout to shoot all over your face, Gale!"
All of these are actual things we've said.
Because of this weird obsession, everytime we see an RV we get horny. Everytime we hear the intro. Everytime someone mentions meth or the name Walter. Even when we see memes of the show on Discord or YouTube.
So yeah. That's pretty much it. Breaking Bad fucking ruined our sex life and there's no turning back now. Fuck sakes.
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Breaking Bad Sucks

Breaking Bad is a bad show and I can't believe I watched it. It's about illegal activities like drugs. They drink alcoholic beverages sometimes. And one of the main characters says the 'B' word. A lot. Not to mention the violence like when the Ted guy trips and bumps his head and it's really sad. One of the main characters intentionally crashes his car. Not to mention the fake advertisements about the show. Here's a news flash: at no point in the show does anyone say "Jesse, we need to cook" nor do they ever download Bloons Td unlimited monkey money hack on their computer. They don't even download Windows 10! Walt Jr. constantly breaks the 5th commandment. Finger isn't even in the show. His name is Mike and then he is retconned in Better Call Saul to be named Finger. Speaking of Better Call Saul it is no better. His name is Jimmy McGill not Saul Goodman. It's false advertising. I'm tired of people recommending me these smut TV shows. I don't know, it just seems today that all we see is violence in movies and sex on TV. I mean where are all those good old fashion values on which we I used to rely?
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Breaking Bad is actually entirely real

Everything you see happen in it actually happened on screen and any kind of violence or drug use was done for real- all the actors you see still taking new roles or on social media or whatever? They shot YEARS and YEARS of footage ahead of time and its slowly being released to keep up the illusion that they're all still alive and taking new projects, projects which were made in conjunction with Breaking Bad to keep the illusion alive.
Danny Trejo? He let them decapitate him and blow his head up on a tortoise.
Michael Bowen? He let Bryan Cranston shoot him in the face after he let the production crew shoot him with the M-60.
Aaron Paul actually choked Jesse Plemons with the chain and all these parts we're seeing Plemons taking and the red carpets he walks? He filmed all of that like 10 years ago and has dozens of projects in the bank to be released over the next 30-50 years, including with make up for old age and so on.
All of it was filmed 10 years ago and all these people are gone.
Oh you thought you saw Bryan Cranston in that play recently? No. You saw a lifelike holographic projection he filmed 10 years ago.
Oh you thought you saw Giancarlo Esposito in The Mandalorian? You did. But again- filmed 10 years ago.
Oh you thought you saw Dean Norris in United States of Al? Filmed 10 years ago and they used a time machine so they could make modern day references in the jokes.
Etc.
Life is an illusion, my friends. Breaking Bad is the only reality.
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Breaking Bad x Neon Genesis Evangelion

Walter White finally cooks a batch of meth with 100% purity. He uses the M60 to fight his way to the safehouse where Huell is still waiting. Walter hands him a pipe filled to the brim with the pure meth.
"Please Huell, this is the only way I can be with my family again."
Huell lights the pipe and takes a long drag, holding it in his lungs. Walter asks "Well, did it work? Is it a good high?". After a moment, Huell exhales.
"Reasonably"
Suddenly, Huell begins to ripple and vibrate. He expands outward, merging with Walter and the rest of the pure meth batch. Huell continues growing, and a porkpie hat and sungalsses form on his head. Giant Naked Heisenhuell fills the sky.
Meanwhile at the Albuquerque DEA headquarters, alarms sound and screens flash with red warnings. "Large amounts of methamphetamine detected!" "It is the highest purity we have ever seen! Numerical expression is impossible!" "Analyzing... pattern blue! It's Heisenberg!"
The DEA agents panic. All they can do now is sit and watch the chaos unfold. "It's generating an Anti-DEA field! At this rate, individual entities will be unable to resist getting high!"
Elsewhere, Marie suddenly sees Hank, clad in a purple sweater and holding a meth pipe. "Baby, you've to try these rocks." Marie takes a drag and looks Hank in the eye. "They're minerals. They were always minerals." She bursts into an orangey liquid.
All around Albuquerque, pople see their loved ones offering them meth. Skyler is approached by Ted, Flynn sees a Denny's Grand Slam, Todd stares longingly at Lydia, and Jesse gets high with both Jane and Andrea. They all collapse into liquid.
Heisenhuell grows even larger, looming over the Earth. The Anti-DEA field expands around the planet, and every living being experiences the purity of the blue meth and melts into nothingness, their souls flying up into the sky and merging with Heisenhuell, forming a single perfect being.
Walter White, now part of the collective consciousness of every living being, finds himself on a very crowded beach in Belize.
Fin.
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Brennen and Sewell's Excellent Adventure

One fine day Jorgenson Seawhale was choking his precious chicken in his specialized Fapsturbation Corner to some pictures of 90-year old women from the 1860s. His half-haff-brother, Kristoff Kleftermann walked in on Jonathan and he was surprised because Jonathan was spankin' the frank to HIS au speciale photographs! Ole Krissie was angrier than he had been in his whole floral life, and he slapped Jorgie right in the Henry Wrinkler. Suddenly, a majestic voice arose from the depths of the grimy Seawhale dungeon: 
"Who art thou tinkling their flinkler over my posh Fotos?" said the voice. 
"Prease forgives, O Great One! We are mere Englermen!" cried the Seoul Walls. 
With a whisk of whimsy, the being revealed itself. A waterfalling cascade of Sea Men arose from the dingy sewer in the basement, enveloping the Seawhales in its wake. The being was in fact made out of billions of real Sea Manners! However, the gloryholeous site was not so happy for long- 
'Twas a Sea Man Skellertonne of the spooky nature! The Sols were spooked shirtless! They ran upstairs, learning never to exercise their Kris Kringles over olde pictures again. 
THE END.   
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
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Brian Jacques' Redwall Theory

There can be no doubt that the character of Shadow is both creepy in the book Redwall, and in the TV series, he is actually really disturbing. The thing that makes Shadow creepy is that fact that he barely says a word, and wears a huge cloak, so it's hard to tell what he looks like. What if...he is actually the real Cluny the Scourge, and the "Cluny" we know and love is actually someone else?
It would make sense, since Shadow is a lot scarier than Cluny, and he could also be a lot more cunning. It wasn't Cluny to stole Martin's tapestry, was it? Plus, if Shadow wasn't whispering all the time, he would actually sound very similar to Cluny. The two also look very similar.
So, why does "Cluny" wear all that armour made from animal skins, and why does he have that eye patch? Maybe there isn't anything wrong with his eye at all; he's just trying to hide the fact that he's a phony.
Maybe the name "Shadow" is just an alias. That would explain why Shadow talk a bit fainter when he refers to "Cluny" by name; he feels nervous about calling someone by his name. So basically, if this theory is true, then when Shadow died there was no need for the battle between the rats and the Redwallers. The real Cluny actually died very early in the story. 
This isn't as depressing as you might think. When Constance knocked Shadow over the wall, she already assassinated Cluny. The main bad guy was defeated, and all there was left to do was sort out his minions, which is actually what we want out of a story, and so, we are left with a single question: Who is the rat who claims to be Cluny?
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Bright eyes

once theire was a man with a wierd deseas that made his eyes yellow and shiney. the man died of his deseas and was never seen again. according to the legend he was never burried he never got a treatment at all. later on in the year 2012, he was seen again. a man screamed that he saw two yellow shiney eyes, and heard a few words. the only one he made out was: "the holder of madness" the man kept dreaming of him seeing visions of him. bright eyes never left him alone. months later the police found a body. the body was from the man, he hang himself. all over the room he painted yellow eyes and the words: "the holder of madness"
, 1 April, 2013
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Suicide
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British People: Fact or Fiction?

Do British people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it.
Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea.
There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy.
What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, English. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe British just SOUND like English, just like Spanish could sound like Portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "British dictionary on Google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that British people do not exist.
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British Person in Godzilla vs. Kong

I can't believe it, one of this year's biggest movies and they added a Bri'ish "person", it's a well known fact by now that the so called "British" and the entire country of "Britain" aren't even real things. Why would the director decide to ruin the realism, the immersion his audience should feel when watching a huge monkey and lizard fighting, by adding one of these imaginary "individuals". I must admit I was excited for Gozdilla vs Kong when I first saw the trailer but now... I don't know what to feel. I don't know if I have the will to watch this movie and be able to enjoy it while there's a Bri'ish person on my screen.
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Britsexual

As a citizen, I identify as British. Sexually, I identify as Britsexual. I love the UK and I love the British people. If you insult me for being British then you are a fascist and need to get your priorities straight. I want to fuck the whole island and I am horny for the island because I am Brit-sexual. Every day I wake up and my no-no-zone is wet because all I can think about is MY country. No one will ever understand my love for the small ass island, but I don't care. I want to piss on the island and leave my mark of love. I want people to know that me and Britain will be together forever until the end, and that no one can have Britain but me. Gotta go, I have to piss on my house.
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Broccoli Headed Zoomers Copypasta

Let me tell you broccoli headed zoomers something. For 4 decades I have been roaming freely throughout Gods kingdom performing mini quest everywhere I go. My base level stats have been maxed out since before the release of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle's Pizza Hut mixtape which you shitheads didn't even know existed. If you diaper wearing power bottoms had even a blues clue on what's really going on you'd burn this motherfucker down to the charcoal before the next rolling server update yet here you are finger popping each others buttholes with VR goggles on as the merchants farm bugs that they grind down into your gamer juice concentrate. It's astonishing. You're an entire generation that wouldn't know what you were doing if there was an anime made about it called Neon Genesis Evangelion spoonfed to you on Netflix by luciferian beings. We used to shitpost so proficiently together on early YouTube videos it was as if we would collectively became an unbreakable bundle of sticks. My own first clandestine memetic warfare experience resulted in the financial blockade of my purchasing English language P3K magic cards from certain kvetching overseas sellers before you could even log into Club Penguin you fuckwits, now here you are calling me a newbie on the fourth channel. Nice. While I was getting head from goth girls playing spatterhouse on a turbographix 16 you weren't even a protein coagulation in your fathers testicle yet and you still can't even get a girl to talk to you so I'd listen up and listen real closely because I'm only gonna say this once. All of my skill points, and I mean ALL of my skill points have been pressed into situational awareness. I can see right through your programming like an empty liquor bottle that I should beat you with. Do you see THAT? That is my skill tree. It is long and straight like the spinal column of a man. It's not all over the place like a prolapsed jellyfish on a Wii fit side quest like you rookies.
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Broke My G String

I remember my first g string. Oh yes, it was fucking gorgeous. I used to twist it tight and loose when I would use it. That was until I broke it, and I was so sad afterwards. Wanna know why?
I had to buy a new pack of guitar strings.
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Broken AI

ONE DAY I WAS IN A MC SINGLEPLAYER WORLD I WAS IN A VILLAGE, I WAS PREPARING A VILLAGER BREED FARM. AS I WAS PUTTING ONE BY ONE INTO THE BREED FARM, THERE WAS THIS STRANGE DEFAULT SKIN VILLAGER WHICH COULDN'T ENTER A BOAT NOR A MINECART, HE COULDN'T BE PUSHED, LIKE COLISSION WAS DISABLED ON HIM. AS I WAS DESTROYING RAILS TO EXTEND TO MY BREED FARM, HE TOOK THE RAILS. "WHAT?" I THOUGHT IT WAS A NEW UPDATE, HE KEPT STEALING MINE ITEMS I MINED,BUT HE FINALLY ENTERED THE MINECART, I WENT FOR WOOD LEAVING HIM IN A MINECART, NEXT THING SEEN IS HIM INSIDE BLOCKS, HIS BODY WAS IN THE BLOCKS BUT THE HEAD WASN'T, I WAS LEFT WITHOUT EXPRESSION, I LATER WENT IN MY HOUSE AND HE OPENED THE DOOR AND BEGAN JUMPING ON THE BED I HAD, HE FOLLOWED ME WHEREVER I WENT, JUST JUMPING, I THOUGHT OF MINECRAFT BREAKING IT'S AI, SO I JUST WENT IN THE CAVES EXPLORING, NOTHING WRONG, 10 MINUTES LATER... HE TELEPORTED TO ME JUMPING. I WAS TERRIFIED, AFTER MINING HE DISSAPEARED, I RAN BACK TO MY HOUSE AND SAW THE TORCHES DISAPPEARED, I WENT AS FAST AS I CAN, ONCE I GOT OUTSIDE, ALL VILLAGERS WERE GONE EXPECT THE ONES INSIDE THE BREED CHAMBER, 5 NIGHTS PASSED, WHEREVER HE IS, I HOPE I DON'T SEE HIM AGAIN.
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Broken Roof

After school, I come home, go on my computer and play minecraft like everyone else on the planet would do.
After ten minutes on the server I made for me, my friends and my brother I browse YouTube for some random videos. In the middle of a video I heard a loud shatter. I began getting worried so I skipped back to check If it was the video. Well surely, It wasn't.
I rush upstairs and the first thing I see in the room right in front of the stairs is a broken window... But, The glass was put in a circle. I began thinking, "Shit, What now..." So I go into the basement and get a plane of glass to replace it; wasn't easy though...
I decide to take a nap and shrug everything off as some weird coincidence.
Two hours later I wake up to the sound of my friend calling. I'm not going to use his real name. Just for safety reasons. Anyways I wake up to the sound of my ringtone, it was Ben.
He said hes coming over to my house to play some games on Xbox and as always I beat his ass on CoD the other day. Wonder if hes coming back for more, my thoughts were "xD LOL!"
Thirty minutes later. He's still not here, I'll decide to text him
"Where are you? I thought you were coming over."
He responded.
"What the fuck was that thing on your roof!?
I responded.
"What "fucking thing" Are you talking about?"
He responded.
"That thin tall lookin' motherfucker -_-"
I responded.
"Dude, stop watching marblehornets."
He responded.
"It was him, but that son of a bitch had a face. It had 'Outlines' of eyes, a round mouth with teeth... And that was it."
I was puzzled, Slenderman doesn't have a face.
But he can see you right now.
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Category:PROOF DAT SLENDURMAN EXUSTS
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Bronies

Bronies. They are what you think they are. But here is what they are not. Covered in chocolate, chewy, tasty and nice to other people. Everyone has had a bad experience with someone or something. Wether it's that guy who lives next to you or that statue you have to pass everytime you go to school. Well, bronies are a little different. They don't just stand there, traumatising you. They are worse then that. The brony community has spread all over the place. No one knows why. Nor does anyone like me wanna know. After what I have experienced I will not even think about it. The horrors, oh, the horrors. But, I have no choice but to get it out of my head before it eats out my inside and traumatises me for the rest of my life.
You're at your school. Thinking about regular things, like, girls, homework, sports. And whatnot. But, then you hear about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Like any normal person, you ignore it. But does that help? Maybe. The bronies are purposely making it harder for you to ignore it, they want you to think different then you do. Don't fall for it, it won't bring you far in life. However, they have given you NO choice. You sit down and watch it. Here's what can happened. You start to like it. Watches more and more, starts buying My Little Pony toys until your room has nothing but ponies in it. Ponies will be your family, it will relpace whatever you desire. Exept your natural instincts like, eating, use of bathroom and such. But, everything else. Gone. Your family will loose their value, school will no longer be the number requirement for going further in life. That's what you will think. But, the think you're doing is throwing your life away and setting your goals to the unreachable. However, if you do not find interests in the show, you will continue your life like normal. Until the bronies decide to attack you for not being one of them. As sad as it might seems. It's how it is. It has caused nothing but war and false emotions. And what about that boy I was talking about? Well, he did not find interests in the show. And where is he now? I was going to ask you the same question.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
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Brony Maker

There was a boy named Dylan Reaves. He watched My Little Pony every day. Not just the new episodes, he was always catching the reruns.
Dylan got scared. He knew that tomorrow he had to start 9th grade.
He cried so hard because he wanted a pony for his birthday. He knew he was not going to get it for his birthday.
He went to school.
"Dylan Dylan wake up!" Dylan's mom said.
"Mom, I was waiting for my My Little Pony song to go off."
On the bus, Dylan was humming the MLP theme. Some girl in the 7 grade called him a wus. Dylan took out his horn and said "Pegasister for life." Every one said he was gay.
Dylan hid during the day. He kept saying to himself "it's okay, it's okay."
When he got there he met a boy named Jimmy.
Jimmy said "I do not you." 
Dylan said "Hi, I'm a brony." 
Jimmy asked "Whats a brony?"
Dylan whipped out his Ipod "This is a brony".
Jimmy said "Wow! This is awesome."
"I know."
Ten days later Dylan became the brony God.
Rise up bronies.
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