ORIGINAL TROLLPASTA - DO NOT STEAL

Trollpasta Wiki.
2015.
It was war. Copious amounts of trollpastas were being deleted by the admins and bureaucrats, several debates and flame wars ensued. The wiki had gone through a terrible stage known as The Purge™. And it had only just begun.
Nominations for Trollpasta of the Year/Month were completely forgotten, same goes to Fail of the Year/Month nominations. We were too busy fighting this endless war. The Purge™ was truly one of the worst periods in Wikia history.
Certain users tried to nominate their Trollpasta on their own, but were completely ignored and brushed off due to this massive conflict.
But amid this apocalyptic battle of the Trollpasta, there is one Trollpasta, one that could save this wiki, this Trollpasta is our only hope...
...And it is known as the Original Trollpasta.
Do not steal.
== Wait, what? ==
You heard me.
That Trollpasta is our ultimate weapon. It's the Doomsday Device, the Destroyer of Inferior Trollpasta, the Savior of Trollpasta Wiki.
With the awesome power of its originality, it could instantly wipe out every single shitty, unfunny Trollpasta in order to save this wiki and end The Purge™, like a 50-megaton hydrogen bomb wiping out civilization after civilization. However we were unsure whether we should use it or not, as it could only be used once and after that, it'd be no more. The greatest Trollpasta ever written would be gone forever after its usage. Is it worth it? Should the King of Trollpasta remain unused and kept safe on this wiki for readers to enjoy, or should we use it as a mass delete function to annihilate the thousands of terrible Trollpasta which put this wiki at risk of being shut down for good, and in the process, lose our best Trollpasta forever?
It was a difficult decision to make at first. Once the Original Trollpasta has been used, it cannot be restored or recreated. So our soldiers just bravely continued to fight on the battlefield, and defeat those shitty Trollpasta and their creators, one-by-one. But by the time The Purge™ is over, the wiki may have already been shut down, since Wikia gave us a time limit (a rather short one at that), like a ticking time bomb that explodes and destroys this wiki if every single shitty Trollpasta hasn't been deleted by then. Although The Purge™ was only meant to serve a good purpose (getting rid of shitty Trollpasta), it had instigated an immense war on this very wiki.
Here, our two Trollpasta Wiki bureaucrats have an important meeting.
LOLSKELETONS: We're losing this battle quite badly. We need reinforcements.
SOMEGUY123: Shall we use the Original Trollpasta, sir?
LOLSKELETONS: No. We are not going to waste our most valuable Trollpasta just to win this war. At least not yet. We still have a chance as long as we have reinforcements that are almost as powerful as the Original Trollpasta.
SOMEGUY123: And what reinforcements would that be, exactly?
LOLSKELETONS: Sanic.exe, 404, I SLIGHTLY DISLIKE YOU, and every other nominated Trollpasta.
SOMEGUYS123: Oh yes, splendid idea...
The nominated Trollpasta did something, I'll tell you that. But it wasn't enough. Innumerable users and Wikia contributors were on a mass vandalism spree out of rage for having their own Trollpasta deleted during The Purge™. Some vandals were capable of hacking into the wiki's ".CSS" and Wiki Navigation, Theme Designer (changing the wiki background, logo, favorite icon, etc.), and even editing the "WikiFeatures", enabling Message Walls, disabling chat, and so on. Dronian, one of the three bureaucrats, had turned to the Darkside and promoted each and every vandal (except for Wikia contributors) to bureaucrat, so they could easily mess with the ".CSS", Wiki Navigation, Theme Designer, "WikiFeatures", etc. without the need to hack their way into these tools. Dronian and his bureaucratic army of vandals and spammers merely sought to destroy our wiki while keeping the shitty Trollpasta, thus they are an even bigger threat than the shitty Trollpasta.
The private chat between our two trusted bureaucrats continues.
LOLSKELETONS: Oh God... We've fucked up... Our plan had gone horribly wrong... What do we do now?!
SOMEGUY123: Calm yourself, soldier! I believe it is time for Wikia Staff to intervene. They'll revert all the damage done by the bureaucratic vandals, demote each and every one of them, including that treacherous Dronian, and have those bastards globally blocked across the Wikia network.
LOLSKELETONS: Well, it's worth a try. Meanwhile we should make improvements to the Original Trollpasta's delete function, since the ability to remove all shitty Trollpasta from the wiki is clearly not enough in this situation. It should be capable of completely disabling/shutting down all vandalizing user accounts as well, as blocking them may not be enough since they could just hack their way out of their blocks or get themselves promoted again.
SOMEGUY123: You may be right. Let's work on the Original Trollpasta weapon (which I'm still not sure about using), so that if the demotion or global bans don't work, we'll use it to get rid of those shitty Trollpasta and vandals once and for all. We'd have no choice but to use it if the Wikia Staff can't handle this issue. I'm not sure about using it if the vandals are all dealt with, though. Just remember that we must not let anyone know of this plan, especially the vandals, because if they do, they'll vandalize the Original Trollpasta and cause even more mischief...
LOLSKELETONS: Right. The Original Trollpasta is protected, only admins can edit it, so if those guys are demoted and cannot be promoted again, don't worry.
Wikia Staff demoted and globally blocked each vandal/spammer, including Dronian, and completely reverted all their vandalism. However, as expected, the vandals returned and back in their bureaucratic positions. SOMEGUY123 turned into the Darkside as well, since he gave up but also didn't want to use the Original Trollpasta weapon. LOLSKELETONS is on his own, now...
SOMEGUY123 tells everyone to vandalize the Original Trollpasta. LOLSKELETONS constantly tries to revert their edits, but to no avail. Finally, he decides to use the Original Trollpasta weapon. With one click of a button, the Original Trollpasta explodes with the force of an antimatter bomb and annihilates all of those shitty Trollpasta along with SOMEGUY123's, Dronian's, and the other vandals' accounts, globally and permanently banning their I.P. addresses so they can't create a new account, and even blocking their ability to hack using an anti-hack wall! The Original Trollpasta also disabled anonymous editing for the wiki, so no Wikia contributor could vandalize too. The Purge™ is finally over, and the Trollpasta Wiki is saved!
LOLSKELETONS decides to never promote any other user again. Ever.
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