Five Nights in the Muffin Man's Basement

So I was sitting in my house one day thinking about playing my favorite game Five Nights at Freddy's and then I noticed a boney looking man staring at me. He was tall and slender. I decided to follow him until I ended up in his house he told me to go in the basement so I did. He told me to play Call of Duty Advanced Warfare but I refused so he had me to stroke his bone and then sent me to my cell. The cell was small and had nothing in it he gave me a carrot and a toilet as well as a glass of water. He told me that was going to be my only food so if I wanted more I would have to eat my own shit out of the toilet. 
Night 1: The first night he was staring at me the whole time I wasn't able to sleep.
Night 2: He gave me a lovely looking flower I named Daisy. Then managed to get some sleep.
Night 3: He gave me some rotting flesh to eat so I accepted and took it from him.
Night 4: He gave me some shears and I tried to pick the lock but he caught me and placed blocks in front of my cell so there was no escape. 
Night 5: He unblocked my cell only for me to see a bunch of cobwebs he said if I was able to get through them he would let me go. But then I noticed I went in to his bedroom he tried to rape me but I ran toward the front door but it was no use he blocked it off. So I ran back into my cell.
So it has been months since I have seen the Muffin Man I think he might be dead but even if this was true I wouldn't be able to escape anyway. I decided I would have sex with the flower since it was so beautiful and I tried to make flower babies but for some reason she was getting pregnant. More months passed and then finally I was able to break out the blocks where gone and I picked the door with the shears I noticed there was a cave in front of me so I decided to go into it. When I got there I was greeted by the Muffin Man he told me I had to go to his rectum kingdom so he had me crawl up in his butthole and then I noticed a castle and the Muffin Man was standing in front of me he told me to go in the castle. Then he told me I must find a key to talk to him in his office. I found the key in a chest by some lava and took it. When I found his office he asked: "What do you want most?" Then I said "My freedom!" He said very well and he told me to follow the path he was making so I did. When I reached the end I was able to crawl out of his ass and ended up back in my village. I told my flower I was going to marry her and take her to Paris. I ran to my house and then went to bed. The next morning a squirrel came to my house and asked if I was getting married to a flower I told him yes and then he told me that he knew a cat that would be able to host a wedding at his house so he brought over the cat and the cat made me follow him. He called my wedding a special kind of wedding and he called me a dumbass but I didn't care I had my flower so I paid him money to host the wedding then we got married. The next day I went to buy some potion from a local witch to impregnate my flower. I went in then she asked what I wanted. I said. "Do you happen to sell potions to impregnate my flower?" She said. "What that is the most idiotic request I ever gotten people like you shouldn't breed!" Then I gave her a lot of money and she gave me the potion. Then she said: "Here you go never return!" I gave my flower the potion and got it instantly pregnant. I decided to take her outside to give birth and everyone in the village was watching and staring at me while my flower gave birth. When she did I named the kid Rose and then took them both inside my house. I heard people shout: "What the fuck did I just witness?" Then the next day I went back to the witch's shop to buy some plane tickets to Paris I gave her the money then rushed to the airport when I arrived they told me the tickets where faked so I went back to the witch sword in hand demanding real tickets. I killed a local villager that got in my way. Then she said: "I told you never to return now you got blood on my floor!" I said "I demand real tickets or you will die!!" Then she said: I will give you the tickets only if you get me some cocaine and more money so I went to find a local cocaine dealer and got some money I had saved in my house and went back to the shop. She said: "Good hang on while I get your tickets." I heard her in the back sniffing the cocaine up and then she came back and gave me the real tickets. I went back to the airport and went to Paris with Daisy and Rose. I said look at the Eifel Tower it is beautiful. She said: "Yes it is!"
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Vidya games
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:NSFW
Category:Trollpasta