Mario's astral energy escaped from the prison that is the human body

I, the person who wrote this study, the author, if you will, is currently, with a high probablitity, that it could be interpreted as certainty, not alive anymore. If you, provided that the universe was not be a product of my mind, and still possesses the attribute that ignoramuses oversimplify as "existence", read this, I must say that I possess an urge to describe the self-contradiction, the eternal lie, that humans are, in this case, specifically, me. If I wanted to describe my person and personality, I would describe myself as a very smart and sophisticated person. In fact, I am knowledgeable of the secrets of the universe and beyond, including the meaning of life. This knowledge resides in me because I read many books, of philosophers that possess almost as much intellect as me, who found out what this meaning, the reason for ethereal destruction, factually and objectively is. Due to the perfection that my intellect is, I have never met with doubt of myself. That is, until that very certain day.
I acquired a memory medium that was able to be utilized in order to play a game. Since names are purely human-constructed and will perish when humanity does, supreme beings like me feel nothing but disregard for them, for I transcended the concepts of life and death. If you however wish what the instance of said concept for this game is, humans call it "Super Mario Galaxy". It's main premise is controlling a human called "Mario" through space in order to find the princess of his love. How ridiculous, since love is a volatile fluctuation of chemicals, a mere triviality, that in comparision to galaxies and stars doesn't even appear to exist. This is especially exhilarating seeing as even those are mere simulations of the computer that is my brain. Someone with a strong ignorancy could argue that even my mind is only an effect of a greater cause, but that would be truly pathetic and ridiculous.
Even if it was, it would indeed not change what happened when I activated the machine containing that vessel of information, the fuel of gods. The random, entropic static on the sceneristic frame changed to a opening screen. Pointlessly, the name of the mentioned game appeared. Was this symbolic for humanities fixation on pointlessness? Letters appeared, telling me to press the buttons who's letters are identical to those: A and B. When I carried out said task, the words combusted into a detonation of blood, the result of a cruel death, the refutation of the first and primal lie. While I was surprised, the concept of blood was not foreign to me; I have lost undefinable masses of blood due to papercuts caused by my excessive consumption of literature.
Due to my knowledge of the philosphy of stoicism, even though said philosophy is clearly inferior to mine, I have not stopped using this questionable entertainment system. This may or may not be the worst, but undoubtedly the only mistake of my life. After I continued, the fake, nonexistant plumber appeared to be on a planet. Due to my intellect, said part was only obvious to me. What wasn't obvious, and was in fact, the total opposite of obvious was the fact, or fiction, that said planet was covered in a red liquid. As I am very aware of the way human biology works, even if said mechanism is pathetically useless. I was questioning what the message was. Was it a symbol for humanity acting in terrible ways in order to reach unreachable and pathetic goals like reaching other planets, recieving eternal life or becoming as smart as me. Naturally it is the latter. Regardless of said semantics, I played through the level. No enemies were existant. My memory told me that the designers created and placed adversaries in order to create a fake, contrived sense of challenge. It was self-evident that this was the developers way of proofing that humans will always have challenge, and even if they completed the impossible challenge of removing all challenges, they would succumb to boredom. Strangely, I was bored of that sort of unconventional level design. This made me thinking... No, that's ridiculous. Me even having that though is almost ignorant.
My unfailable eyes found the goal of the level: A grand star. Even this basic level elemant contained anomalies. The star was black, it's eyes appeared to be red. The most unorthodoc thing however was the fact that somebody wrote a number on said star. A number reading 666. Again, my mind started to think at what this was a symbol for. Maybe the undeniable fact that mathematics, especially the results of mathematical operations are almost certainly wrong. The fact that 666 is often associated with demons if probably a reference to the fact, that demons might have convinced people that the results of even basic mathematic calculations are something they are not. For said fact, I find it pathetic and ridiculous that we have to learn mathematics in our school, when this field is just another incarnation of the eternal and ethereal lie that is called "science" by humans.
The moment I stopped thinking about such complex topics, I tried to collect the Grand Star. Obviously, another anomaly happened. The star explodes in a bloody detonation. Said explosion was followed by the screen was immersed into pristine nothingness. Then, a simple, but gamechanging text appeared. The letters said: Do you bleed? That was it. Another incarnation of the though I mindlessly discarded entered my mind. Do I bleed? Seeing as I have bled multiple times before, after my flesh was disrupted by carriers of knowledge. I have had paper cuts. But if I truly am a god, a immortal being whose very mind can simulate a complex of universes, the very concepts of existance and nonexistance themselves, how can I be hurt by something that isn't real? After informatics class stopped, I sadly wasn't able anymore to play video games anymore, so I was forced to listen to my own thoughts. But due to my intellect, I had a plan: I would simply jump out of a window. If I survived, it would proof to myself that I was a god amongst men, an existance amongst nonexistances, a fact amongst illusions. If I died, however, nothing of value would be lost. What even is the life of a puny mortal? Nothing.
Due to this turn of events, I asked the pretentious, pseudo-intellectual teacher if I could visit the toilet. He gave me his allowance. I went to the toilet and then jumped out of the toilet window. The moment of truth, the point I hit the ground occured. My body was crushed under it's own kinetic energy. I knew I was dying. I knew, I wasn't a god, not a sage. My mind was fallable all the time, I was never able to find out the secrets of the universe and the meaning of live in the first place, I was merely lying to myself. Ironically I, the one who thought I was the only existing person and that everyone else was just an delusion, was the one deluting myself.
That sucks.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Mario
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:Suicide
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:LONG ASS TITLE