Jay The Killer: The Raging Rampage

Hi! In case you didn’t know already, I’m Jay Whatever and I live on Anyplace Mental Hospital, I killed my parents but failed to kill my sister and bullies, and I have a very scary catchphrase! “Never again you will fart while alive”! Very intimidating, right? If you want to know how I thought of that, what’s my origin story, and how it went when I first escaped the asylum, go ahead and read my other stories! Today’s story, on the other hand, is about the day me and my stupid sister Ginny met again! I always hated her, because she’s annoying and farts a lot! But as you were told, I hadn’t managed to kill her! A year had passed since my turn to insanity and villainy, and my wrath had only grown in the meantime! Till some day, I read something on a newspaper! (Yeah, they give insane murderers like me access to newspapers! Not a big deal compared to the fact they also gave me access to a electronic device with a internet connection!) The newspaper said Ginny had changed her name to Janine and moved to our grandparents house so she could be safer! (I have no idea why she would be safer if they just announced her whereabouts to everyone, including her psychotic brother!) So I easily escaped my confinement, because I’m a badass, and gone to my grandparents house to finally kill Ginny! (I guess now she’s Janine! Doesn’t matter anyway!) On the way I murdered some random truck driver, so now I killed more than two people and no one can say anymore I didn’t kill enough people to be a serial killer! Moving on, I arrived at my grandparents house, a knife on my hand, and knocked at the door! My plan was for my old and senile grandparents to open the damn door so I could ambush and murder them! I had tried almost the same trick with my old bullies, and though it ended badly for me, this time I had a knife instead of a flower pot, so I was a lot more confident in my chances! The second the door opened, I swing my knife at my unsuspecting victim direction! Unfortunately, it was Ginny/Janine, not one of my grandparents, so I had miscalculated and stabbed the air right above her head! The eleven-years-old loser screamed in shock, but soon her surprise and fear gave away to a wave of contempt and spite! “YOU! How can it be?” I smiled maliciously at seeing her stupid face again! “I came back to finish what I started! Prepared to die?” Instead of begging for mercy as I expected, she stared at me with pure raw hate! “You failed the first time! You will fail again! We both know it!” “This time will be different! I got stronger and crazier since the last time you saw me! I even have a new catchphrase! Never again you will fart while alive!” I wasn’t ready for what she did next! She just freaking laughed at me, like I was some kind of joke instead of the one who killed our parents! “You’re so dumb! Go screw yourself!” I was without words at this point! Suddenly my hate blinded me, and completely unable to think straight, I pounced at her with my knife! Turns out smaller targets are easier to miss, specially when they know you’re going to strike, so I ended up in the floor, bleeding after accidentally cutting myself with my own weapon! My sister laughed and mocked me and farted! I hate when she farts! I didn’t even have a chance to strike again before she kicked my face, and damn, it did hurt a lot! Then she mocked me some more, my useless grandparents called the cops, and Officer Calvin Hobbes arrested me again! It seems I keep coming back to the loony bin at the end! But doesn’t matter! I can always escape again and wreck more havoc! HAHAHA!
THE END?
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:MARY SUE ALERT
Category:Potty Humor
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:TRUE STORY