James Learns a Lesson and Other Stories (Alternate DVD)

You love Thomas, I love Thomas, everybody does, and I mean, who doesn't love Thomas?
As a matter of fact, Thomas the Tank Engine himself is the primary and ultimate face of all children shows being Sesame Street, My Little Pony, Pokemon, Scooby-Doo, Batman, Barney, you name just about any of them you know when it comes to mind, both yours and mine.
The show was created by Britt Allcroft, and based on the Railway Series books by Wilbert Awdry. It first appeared in 1984 where its first episode aired in the UK.
One day when I was in my home, eating a cup of vanilla pudding, my doorbell rang and when I opened the door there was a package for me. I thought, "I didn't order a package". So I opened it. Inside was a DVD case. On the front, has a picture of James frowning in a black background, and seemed to have eyeholes without eyes. There was no title on the casing, and there was just nothing but black on the back side. Yes, that's the DVD itself.
In curiosity, I turned the television on, I opened the case, popped out the disc, and I inserted the DVD into the player. When it started, there was static, but as the static played, I quickly noticed some quick scene of Diesel 10. Then, it showed a selection screen, with a poorly drawn artwork format of Thomas on a crumpled, wrinkly white background, similar to how one person crumples up a piece of paper and opening it back up again.
There was of course, music in the background. And what was I even LISTENING to? What played in the background sounded like to me, in my perspective, a faint, distorted music box version of the intro theme of the television show, Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends itself. And there was a loud, ambient, drilling bang in the background to the beat, as well as a sob of agony. The options below the background were Play, Meet the Staff, Behind the Scenes, and More. Before I started up the episode, I went into More.
When I went into More, there was just a few animatic clips, and they looked somewhat like deleted scenes I've never seen before. There were labels below the thumbnails of the clips. Each and every one of them read "Test", and they were the names for every last one of them. I backed out, then I would play the episode. No, I cannot give you a copy of the DVD, because I don't want ourselves to get handed to HiT Entertainment, because you know how they are when it comes to these kinds of things. But, what I can do, is that I will give you a summary about what happens in the episode itself.
I scratched my head in confusion when I saw what appeared just a plain black screen. And for some reason, I wanted to know what went wrong with the television.
Before I could get up and try to fix the television, the screen would flicker, and it takes the view to a test card pattern with bright colors with blocks of black, monochrome, silver, and white below them.
There was audio in the background, and the first noise I heard was an ear-drilling sine-wave in the background. Above the top of the vertical colors read "Please wait, this might take a few moments" on-screen in a digital font.
The test card took 25 seconds to stop, and it took me to yet another black screen for a few more seconds, and it showed the intro.
The Intro played perfecty normal, but the audio looked distorted and the picture quality looked like if it was from an unrestored 1970's film.
When Thomas went under the bridge, on-screen read the episode title, "James Learns a Lesson". This appeared to be ripped from the "James Learns a Lesson and Other Stories" VHS Tape in 1990.
Excluding the audio and picture, the episode was normal. The narrator Ringo Starr, in his British voice did the voices without any flaws.
However, after the first nameboard sequence, it showed the next episode (Foolish Freight Cars), with James in the Sheds with a sad face. This shot however stayed on for 20 seconds before the Fat Controller came into the sheds and said in a voice:
"James, I want you to -- "
Then the screen made static noises that were so loud, but my TV had only 4 volume. Did I mention there was no narration?
Then a voice came up and said:
"KILL YOURSELF!!"
I was shocked and felt goosebumps, then I paused the tape and drank some tea before I played it back. Then it showed James crying with tears coming out of his face, and really sounded like a recording of an actual woman crying.
"But Why?" Replied James.
It cut to the station, where Thomas brings James his trucks and teases him about bootlaces before leaving, much to his annoyance.
In this scene, I found something different...
#The Narrator's lines are not included.
#The Trucks are filled with explosives.
#A Few Flammable Tankers were added.
James couples himself to the freight, who tease him for his red paint; James just ignores them and despite their protest, firmly sets off with them. During the journey, the troublesome trucks make several attempts to hold him back but each time James' crew manages to correct the problems, and then he continues on. The trucks then begin shouting at James to give up, but it is no use as James is determined to prove himself a better engine.
As the train reaches Gordon's Hill and James tries to pull the trucks up as fast as he can, which is initially tricky. Then halfway up, the pulling suddenly gets easier, but his driver stops him and points out that the explosive cars have broken away and are running back down the hill. Fortunately, the guard manages to bring them to a stop at the bottom, and gets out to warn oncoming engines.
James reverses downhill to retrieve the end of his train, but while when the cars hit Edward. It cut to black with a loud high-quality explosion that sounded like if it was near me.
The screen turned to static. It then showed a black and white film of the scrapyards. It showed various engines burning alive. Some demonic laughing was heard in the background, and multiplied in number as more scrapped engines were placed in the pile of scrap. The engines that were scrapped was the retired Japanese engines like the 0 Series Shinkansen and Series 165 Tokai, with Diesel 10 simply staring at the destruction with a creepily blank smile.
It cut back to Diesel 10 in the middle of nowhere, and there was an infinite expanse of hard and rocky ground. Splatter and Dodge were on the other tracks, following him. But they were talking in gibberish. Meanwhile, Diesel 10 was smiling at the screen and a voice said "نعم سيدي. لقد ماتوا."
It then abruptly cut to a clip of the World Trade Center's destruction on September 11, 2001, followed by an decaying skull image on the screen. It said "جئت إلى هذا الحد. استعد للقاء الرب" and the DVD player turned off completely. As soon as I turned it back on, it showed the Fat Controller with his face red and extremely furious at James who is tearfully sorry.
Fat Controller: YOU HAVE CAUSED CONFUSION AND DELAY!!
James: *sniff* I'm so sorry... What have I done?
Fat Controller: And to add salt to the wound, YOU SHOULD BE SCRAPPED!!
James: Oh Goodbye World, *sniff* Goodbye Thomas *crying*
Thomas was watching in terror as the Fat Controller used a blowtorch to take off James' face, which showed an expression of pure pain and horror. Tears were running down his cheeks.
Then, the Fat Controller took off Thomas' face, which immediately became lifeless, and threw it into a nearby pool of molten metal. The face melted away.
* Fat Controller: You deserved this, and MUCH MORE!!
Ten more seconds of static before another scene appeared. It showed clips of World War II, such as Adolf Hitler giving a speech, The Holocaust where Jewish people are killed, the Pearl Harbor Attacks and the atomic bomb landing in Hiroshima. And what was heard in the background was Diesel 10's laughing, mixed with the laughs of Kefka, Darth Vader, and a chipmunk.
The screen then cut to black, and something appeared on-screen. It was Edward's dead body, melting in the molten metal pool. He was completely rusted, with his face, funnel and wheels taken off.
Arabic text in red appeared on the bottom-center of the screen below Edward's scrapped, lifeless body. It read:
"المتعة بدأت للتو يا فتى. لا تجعل نفسك مرتاحا جدا ".
And then, the picture and the text vanished off of the screen. One last scene was shown. It was Diesel 10 in the same background as James in the DVD cover, with no mouth, bloodshot eyes, and standing perfectly still. Before the scene ended, he blinked his eyes, startling me slightly.
Once that thing I wouldn't want to call Diesel 10 blinked its eyes, the screen vanished to darkness, before the player turned off itself again, but with the disc ejecting itself as well.
I then took the disc out, smashed it to pieces and threw the remains in the trash.
To this day, I still look at Thomas and his Friends.
However, the next morning when I was on my computer, I got an email that was from the DVD. It said:
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:I CAN HAZ TRANSLATION?
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck