The Wiper

Joey was taking a big, fat crud. It felt so good. Things were going just right for him, until he looked over at the toilet roll.
"What? No! Out of toilet paper? Oh shit..."
Joey started looking around, but there was nothing. His phone was next to him, sitting on the sink. He could call for help... but at that very moment, the phone rang. It said it was a local call, so he imagined it was someone who called him on a different number. Embarrassed, he answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"*snniiiiiiiiifff*..... ahhhh...... are you Joseph?"
"Who's this?"
"It's me, Joey. The Wiper. *sniiiiiifffff*..... The Wiper, Joey....."
"What?"
"I'll be over soon to help, Joey....."
"Hey, who are you?!"
Silence. Joey's skin crawled. Who was that man and why was he coming at such an inappropriate time? He scrambled to call a friend of his, and scrolled through the names until he hit Bryce. He called him up, and he answered.
"Hey." Bryce said on the other end.
"Hey, Bryce? This is gonna sound stupid, but I don't have any toilet paper, and I'm stuck here. Can you help me?"
"I guess, yeah... It'll take me a bit though."
"Okay, but hurry up..."
"Bye." Bryce said over the phone, and hung up.
Joey sat there and looked at some things on his phone, including a video on how to make a house out of sticks and mud. Suddenly, he heard his front door getting knocked on.
"Bryce, I'm in here! Come in!"
But when he heard the front door slowly open, he heard heavy footsteps and a strange sniffing sound......
"Mmm.... *snifffffff*... smells like duty calls...."
"WHAT THE FUCK!" Joey yelled, and started to go white from fear. He wished he had locked his door now, and a million thoughts were going through his head.
His bathroom door flung open, and there stood an ugly, balding, bearded man with a creepy face and a handful of toilet paper. Joey screamed.
"*sniiiifffff.... I'm The Wiper.... come here...."
"NO!!! NO!!!!! GET AWAY!!!"
Joey fell off the toilet, and The Wiper began to wipe him.
"AAAHHH!!! HELP!!!!" Joey cried out as he felt his ass being massaged by The Wiper's filthy hands.
"I was just like you, Joey...... I needed mine wiped and nobody was there for me..... *snifffff*......"
"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!"
Joey ran out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles, and The Wiper flushed the toilet.
"Isn't that better....?" he said with a smile.
"NO! GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE NOW!"
"You only get one favor from The Wiper.... next time, I will not come..."
At that moment, Bryce walked into the house with his toilet paper. He tried to speak, but nothing came out. All he saw was Joey's shitty asscheeks. He put the paper down on the table and slowly backed out with a "There's your toilet paper, Joey..." and ran off.
The Wiper came closer to Joey.
"*snifffff*.... The Wiper never forgets those in need...."
"GET OUT!!! NOW!!!"
"The Wiper does as you wish.... but first, I must finish the job..."
He grabbed Joey again and started wiping his ass furiously. The Wiper obviously wanted a job well done as he started eating the toilet paper to dispose of it.
"YOU GROSS BITCH!" Joey yelled. "GO AWAY RIGHT NOW! I'M CLEAN!"
"Goodbye... so long.... *snifffff*... Joey...."
The Wiper jumped out the window and escaped. Joey never saw him again. His one favor was used up.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Potty Humor
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Featured Pastas