Fun depression

Fun depression is a type of depression identified by science in which you really like being really sad. Fun Depression can be differentiated from the other types of depression (Not-Fun and Great) by the presence of fun and the absence of unfun and greatness. Recent research shows that Fun Depression, contrary to traditional thinking, can occur co-morbidly with both Great Depression and Not-Fun depression (a discovery which indicates that more discoveries will probably happen.)
Though psychoanalysis has shown that Fun Depression is actually an underlying structure (as opposed to a set of visible sad-fun symptoms) resulting from identification with the masturbating grandpa in the extended remix of the Oedipus Complex, typical symptoms exhibited as the manifest content of the structure are social withdrawl accompanied by a terrifyingly content grin, the compulsory distribution of ironic suicide notes written on children's birthday cards, and self-mutilation while dressed in a clown suit.
Fun Depressives are often represented in Western culture by the archetypal image of a man laughing joyfully while tears drip down his screaming wet face (as his body levitates peacefully above the kitchen floor thanks to the multicolored noose extending upwards from his mangled neck.)
== History ==
Fun Depression was first introduced as a diagnostic category by psychoanalyst Jaques Lacan, who discovered it in Freud by reading his work upside down and sideways, through a mirror, on acid in a helicopter. The following mathematical formulas were used to differentiate the three depressions structurally.
Un-Fun Depression: Boohoo = Pain
Great Depression: Boohoo = Gain
Fun Depression: Jews = Lame
Obviously, the pun-structure of this linguistic inversion is what allows Fun Depression to manifest itself in the symptoms associated with it. To illustrate further, Lacan announced to his followers that it was not real fun, but the signifier of fun (Super Mario) that functioned as the mechanism allowing for this inversion similar in structure to the penis with nuts on the wrong end.
As Lacan himself told his followers, Fun Depression can be best depicted as "the master signifier's avoidance of the phallus by means of the fundamental unconscious maneuver of the jew-joke and the mixed up face of the filthy old man." This is indeed an arousing statement. Due to the obvious accuracy of this, little scientific progress has been necessary to full understand the illness.
== Experience ==
The majority of Fun Depressives are male, and the pathology is usually initiated when the sufferrer learns to mock fat girls sitting alone in hallways during his time spent in public schooling. This seemingly harmless and hilarious joke is capable of immediately unlocking the pundamental unconscious metaphor of the jew joke that allows Fun Depression to burst into a quickly all enveloping pathological problem. Sufferers quickly find themselves cynically mimicing the depressives around them in a compulsive masturbatory burst of masculine orgasmic trasngressive ritual.
Statements such as "MY CRYING SOUNDS LIKE COP SIRENS" burst from the sufferer's tongue like a flying tapeworms exploding from a batcave. Mortality rates for the condition are shocking, since most persons with the condition perish in suicidal mock-suicides within weeks. Parents all-too-often discover their poor child, previously of perfect mental health, lying deceased in the bathtub, with phrases like "I HATE MYSELF AND AM AN IDIOT" hilariously carved into the torso. Though a tragic loss, such sufferers sacrifice themselves nobly to show how fucking retarded sad people are.
== Boohoo, what if I have this, doctor? ==
A quick ten-step self-test, provided below, can help you determine whether or not you should immediately seek help.
# Do you feel the urge to cut yourself in the most retarded way you can think of?
# Are you becoming socially isolated because your friends are terrified of your refusal to stop bursting into tears while wearing a children's party hat?
# Do you find yourself trapped in the following repetitive behavioral loop?
::a) Crying as a joke.
::b) Crying from laughter at your own joke-crying.
::c) Crying from joy at the thought of how funny crying as a joke, causing you to repeat the process from step a?
# Are you held back from suicide solely by the fact that you find writing suicide notes so fun that you can't help but write more and more of them?
# Do you find it impossible to think about the meaninglessness of life without attaining a dangerous level of utter contentment?
# Are you unable to tell the difference between an amusement park and a funeral home?
# Do you complain to the sad fat girls about your 'reliance on comfort food', and then begin chewing on a safety blanket?
# Do you find it funny to take your anti-depressant medication via needles as if injecting heroin, and even funnier to tell people that you need the medication to go "straight to your heart?"
# Do you find yourself unable to tell the difference between sleeping and partying?
# Do you find World Vision commercials superior to any pornography for viewing while masturbating?
If you answered YES to any of these questions, you are advised to contact a doctor near you so he can congratulate you on how awesome you are (and he is.)
Category:Depressions