Unsettled Glitch that Vomited

Hi my name is Kevin and I really need to tell you this story because there's this weird thing that happened to me. I'm not lying it's true.
Yesterday I was dicking around on my computer and suddenly there was a file on my desktop called die.exe. I thought it was a glitch so I clicked on it. Suddenly a montage of gruesome pictures appeared on my screen—bloody dead bodies and rapes and stuff happening really fast. The dead bodies only had bloody empty eye sockets for eyes. Screaming was coming from the speakers. I vomited and tried to turn off the computer but it wouldn't turn off and I tried to turn down the volume but it got louder until my ears started bleeding. I vomited again. I was unsettled and disturbed.
I figured it was a glitch and went to bed. I had a scurry dream about murders and other scurry stuff. When I woke up, I was unsettled and disturbed and went downstairs to eat breakfast bUT MY MOM AND DAD'S DEAD BODIES WERE MANGLED IN THE KITCHEN. There was blood everywhere and they had bloody empty eye sockets for eyes. I vomited and ran upstairs to check on my computer (I just had a strong unsettling feeling that I should) and I had an email. The email read:
Dere's a ded grrl named summer and she has no eyes and no nose and she was murdered. If you dont forward this email to 20 ppl you will die tonight jUST liKE YOUR PARENTS
Then screaming came from my computer and it shut down and I couldn't turn it on again. I was unsettled. And I vomited.
I figured it was all just a glitch and went to school.
"Hey bro what's happening dude?" my friend said to me excitedly as he sat down next to me with a large sigh.
"Nothing man just my life glitching up for no reason," I stated quietly. "Being a freshman in high school is hard."
"Yeah dude bro man I know. Hey want to hang out after school. We can do that because we're 14 whole years old," he ejaculated.
"Sure what are we going to do."
"We're going to visit the hOUSE AT THE END OF THE ROAD."
I instantly felt unsettled.
"But dude that house is haunted."
"C'mon man are you chicken."
I sighed at his playful teasing. "Okay fine. I'll meet you there after school."
"Sweet bro."
Then class started. During lunch break, I went to the school library. I started browsing the small DVD collection looking for my favorite show, Pokemon. Lately the show has really been going downhill and I disagree with the producers' decision to get rid of Misty but I digress that's totally irrelevant. Anyway I found a DVD that had lots of Pokemon episodes on it. It looked like a normal DVD case except for the eyeballs were missing from all the characters on the cover art. I was unsettled but I ignored it, figuring it was just a glitch, and checked it out from the librarian desk lady. She gave me a funny look when she saw what I was checking out but didn't say anything. It unsettled me but I shrugged it off and shrugged some more and sighed. As I was leaving the building I vomited for some reason. You know this story is true because people just constantly vomit all the time and this is just realistic.
I walked over to the house at the end of the road. While I was walking, I was getting a bad, unsettling feeling in my tummy that was telling me to go back but I ignored it. It was probably a glitch.
When I got to the house my friend was there.
"Hey dude bro man okay let's go in. We can take pics with my phone," he said excitedly. The house was really rundown-looking. The windows were broken and the outside was dirty.
When we walked in the door slammed shut behind us. "Whoa that's kind of weird," I gasped skeptically. "I guess it's a glitch."
My friend (Donny) took some pics with his phone. "This place is so old wow."
There were eerie red paint stains all over the broken house. Then we heard eerie unsettling disturbing footsteps from upstairs.
"We should go check it out," my friend announced loudly. I was unsettled but I followed him up the creaky stairs.
We explored the destroyed rooms upstairs. When we went into the bathroom, we saw a little girl standing in the corner. Her black hair hung over her face.
"H-H-Hey are you l-l-l-l-lost," I said unsettledly. She lifted her head and her eYES WERE MISSING AND REPLACED WITH HYPERREALISTIC BLOODY EMPTY SOCKETS. And she screamed really loud and the mirror and shower bled and her eye holes bled and we ran out of there as fast as we could, vomiting all the way.
"Dude that was so scary man!" my friend shouted once we were out of the house.
"Yeah she needs to go to the hospital what's wrong with her???"
"I don't know bro let's go to your house to hang out."
"Good because I have a Pokemon DVD I got from the library."
"Cool bro let's watch it I love Sonic I mean Zelda I mean Pokemon."
"The cover's kind of weird tho man like the characters."
We looked at the pictures Donny took on the way. For some reason we looked murdered and stuff instead of normal. We agreed that it was just a glitch.
"Hey there sonnies," my neighbor Old Man Jenkins said as we passed him.
"Hi sir do you know anything about the house down the road."
He became eerily quiet and said in a hushed whisper, "There were murders there a long time ago."
I was shocked at this.
"But we just saw a little girl there."
"But boys . . . She's been dead for 20 years."
"Oh my god," Donny and I said, very shocked. We both vomited some more and were unsettled. It was all so eerie and disturbing.
We went into my house and put the DVD into the player. The screen was just black for five minutes and then Ash appeared. He was crying, cowering against a wall, for 13 seconds. Then Misty took a chainsaw and killed him! It took exactly 23 seconds, I had a stopwatch so I know. Donny and I were unsettled and disturbed. Eerie blood flowed out of Ash's torn body, and then Misty went on to kill Pikachu, Gary, and Brock for like seven minutes and 56 seconds. She poked out all their eyeballs and ate them. She chewed for four seconds.
"I AM GOD" she said in an eerie voice, turning toward the camera. Her eyes were hyperrealistic and very scurry to look at.
"I-I-I-I-I-I-It must be a lost episode," Donny said quietly.
"O-O-O-O-O-O-Or a glitch," I said.
We were really unsettled. Then aLL THE LIGHTS IN THE HOUSE WENT OUT. We heard a chainsaw whirring from the basement!
"OH MY GOD IT'S MISTY!" I screamed with a hint of suicidal rampancy. Donny and I ran around in a circle streaming unsettledly and disturbedly and eerily and hyperrealistically and we vomited all over the place.
The whir of the chainsaw stopped for a while (36 seconds to be exact). We heard Misty say, "Oh my god who are you where are your eyes and nose."
"Oh hi. I'm Summer and I have no eyes and no nose and I was murdered. I've just been chillin down here waiting for tonight when I can go up and kill Kevin because he didn't forward my email."
"Wow we can kill him and Donny together."
"We have to wait till tonight because that's what the email said."
"Oh okay."
"We have to do something bro man," I said scaredly to Donny.
"Should we get out of the house dude?"
"Why the hell would we do that?"
"I . . . I don't know, it just seemed kind of logical—"
"WE CAN'T DO THAT WE HAVE SO MUCH VOMITING AND BEING UNSETTLED TO DO"
"Okay what should we do to defend ourselves?"
"We should read a bunch of creepypasta to learn how to combat monsters. I love creepypasta."
"Omigod me too. My favorites are 'sonic.exe' and 'Jeff the Killer'."
"I love those too!!1!"
We got online and started training to kill Misty and Summer. We read all the classics and played Slenderman. You know this story is true because this is realistic.
So now Donny and I are hiding under the blanket in my room waiting for Misty and Summer. I think we may have wasted the time we had a little bit.
Oh god. I hear them coming. I hear the chainsaw and the footsteps. OH GOD alsdfja;osfjaosfA;FKDJA;OSDIFHASD;OIFH—
HEEHEEHEEE Misty here! YOU'RE NEXT.
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Case file No. 69. Two boys found dead in upstairs bedroom. They have bloody cuts all over their bodies that spell the words "MISTY IS GOD AND SUMMER IS JESUS". Eyeballs removed replaced with bloody empty sockets. Blood is hyperreastic and literally all over the place wtf
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Case file No. 71. Police officer found dead next to case file No. 69 papers. Eyeballs removed. Eerie blood all over the place. Officers on duty vomited. Cuts all over his body say "666 MISTY IS GOD". The vomit and blood all over have started to form pictures of our deaths. It looks like an anime girl chain-sawing officers and their families to death. I hear footsteps up stairs OH GOOOOODA;DOFIHAOSFH;UIOFH;UIGER—
LOOK BEHIND YOU :))))))) <3 Misty
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[ORIGINAL CHARACTERS DO NOT STEAL >:((( -- R.C. Holzknecht]
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Satire
Category:Trollpasta