Life of the United Nations

I see the UN as an extremely depressed person who works as hard as he can but gets no thanks for it.
He wakes up in the morning with a plate of cold Indian food from three nights ago. UN has constant stomach problems. UN doesn't care. He realizes that if he dies no one will miss him. His dad died from a shank by a ex-convict.
UN didn't cry at his dad's funeral.
The walk to work is always hard. The UN used to own a cat.
Islamic terrorists strapped C4 to it....
UN sometimes wishes that he didn't get out at the last minute. The UN passes by the poor on the streets of Manhattan. The UN has some spare change. He decided against giving his change. The UN arrives at work at 6:30 am.
No one thanks him. His paperwork is hard. But he knows that it doesn't matter. If he died today there would be another sad sap who takes his place. At 7:00 am the other workers arrive. UN has coffee made for everyone there. No one thanked him. UN considers putting pain pills into the coffee pot. His mind races with the problems that would be solved. He sits back down after not being able to make up his mind.
At 10:00 am the managers walk in. No one enjoys the managers. Everyone knows that they are only there because they kicked the ass of some punks that were on the CEO's lawn. UN doesn't judge though. He just sighs to himself and wonders if the death penalty is in Best York. At lunch the groups form up and go off to lunch. UN is not invited. UN just eats his sandwich. UN sees a bug in it. UN eats it anyways. UN gets up to throw away his food and passes his coworkers paperwork. None of it is done. UN sighs and takes the work to his desk.
UN finishes his section's work. UN puts it back in its right place. No one thanks UN. Some chew him out for doing parts of it wrong. Most don't care. UN cleans up his desk and starts to go home. One of the 5 bosses stops him and hands UN more work. Says its promotion material. UN isn't buying it. UN says nothing. Just stuffs it into his bag and nods. The walk home is cold. UN sees no more homeless. UN remembers college and what he wanted to do in his life. UN remembers what his boss said once. Work makes you free. UN keeps forgetting that for some reason. The security guard at UN's apartment doesn't even flinch when UN falls. UN feels bad for messing up the cities sidewalk. Promises to pay extra taxes for it. Never does. UN walks up the apartment's stairs. They are broken and UN feels like he should tell the manager. He never does. UN unlocks his door and silently thanks god that there was no eviction notice. UN lies on the couch and sees a message on the machine. Probably mom. UN deletes it before hearing the message. UN feels hungry. Hates what he eats. Wants to eat healthy. Orders Chinese food. Eats alone. UN walks into the bath/bedroom. Brushes teeth and lies on the bed. Looks at the ceiling. Sees a spot. Contemplates life. Contemplates killing the person living upstairs. Realizes that he doesn't have the balls. UN watches TV until early in the morning. Falls asleep. Dreams a dream of sadness and lost potential. Wakes up. Forgets dream. Starts a new day.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Memes
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT