Robin Gibb

Robin Hug(e penis) Gibb CBE (22 December 22 1949 – 20 May 2012) was a British singer, songwriter, and sex addict most famously known as being a member of the pop group The Bee Gees with his older brother Barry Gibb and fraternal twin brother Maurice Gibb. Robin Gibb was notable for having an unusually large and leftward pointing penis, as evident in the music video for the Bee Gee’s most successful single (How Come My Vibrator Batteries Aren’t) Stayin’ Alive. 
==Childhood==
Robin Gibb was born in the small village of Graçao, Arcos de Valdevez, Portugal to Barbara and Hugh Gibb while they were vacationing in Europe on December 22, 1949. His twin brother Maurice was born along with him, as they were conjoined together by the penis. Unlicensed Portuguese doctors near the area performed successful life saving surgery to get the twins unconjoined although their penises would forever be mutilated as a result of the doctors using decade old, rusty tools with Robin getting the bigger half of the dick. He and Maurice would soon return to Manchester, England where they would grow up and were welcomed into the family with an older sister named Lesley and an older brother named Barry. His younger brother Andy was conceived during the twins' surgery although he was not born until almost a decade later for some fucking reason.
As a child, Robin enjoyed creating music very much along with his brothers Barry and Maurice. His favorite instrument was the piano although he had a special liking for the wii nunchuck as well since he was particularly fond of the sound it made when he swung it in the air while beating the ever living Christ out of his parents with it to assert his dominance in the house.
After creating a diabolical plan to set a church on fire while a funeral was happening, his entire family was forced to move to Australia where him and his brothers spent most of their teenage years.
==Career==
===1958 - 1969/1970 - 2003: Bee Gees===
Robin and his two other brothers Barry and Maurice decided to create a band as a way of following in their father's footsteps to gain money for prostitutes. The band began to gain increasing success, especially in the 1960's when they released their first ever number one hit "Massachusetts" originally titled "Turn The Lights On, Bitch" in 1967. The Bee Gees released six albums in the 1960's until tension started to grow between the band. After having been involved in an affair with Barry, the two became more and more difficult to work with. While recording their sixth album "Odessa" an especially heated argument over which song would be on the A-side of the album split them apart, causing Barry to fire Robin from the band. Robin will tell others that he left on his own but don't listen to his bitch ass. He made up with his brothers in 1970 and for the rest of the 1970's the band was smooth sailing. In the 1980's less people started giving a fuck about the band which would lead to the brothers temporarily splitting up. This gave Robin more opportunity to work on his solo projects. In the late 1980's after many failed attempts from his brothers to reach him, Robin decided to live the rest of his life in seclusion as cocaine and his hippie wife gradually began to take over his life. The Bee Gees moved on without him, producing many more albums until Maurice's death in 2003.
===1969 - 1970/1982 - 1986: Solo Career===
After being fired from The Bee Gees by Barry, Robin decided to protest against his brothers by creating a boring ass fucking classical pop album titled "Robin's Reign." The album was recorded between March and October of 1969 and released in the Winter of 1970.
After The Bee Gees decided to split off once again, Robin became very busy as he worked on four solo albums during this time period and released three of them.
His 2nd album "How Old Are You" was recorded in the Fall of 1982 and released in the Spring of 1983. The album failed to chart in America and Britain but its hit song "Juliet" did top the charts in Germany. The album also had two other singles released from it: "Another Lonely Night In New York" and "How Old Are You' where he literally fucking admits to having sex with an underage girl who lied about her age. Although there is no other evidence to support that he committed statutory rape, this claim can be made from the lines "You said you were seventeen but you were somewhere in-between, that leads me on, how old are you?"
Robin's third and fourth albums "Secret Agent" released in the Summer of 1984 and "Walls Have Eyes" released in the Fall of 1985 also failed to chart in American and Britain, gaining only minor success with "Secret Agent" containing many dance numbers and new-wave synth songs and "Walls Have Eyes" containing mostly ballads
Robin recorded a fifth album shortly after releasing "Walls Have Eyes" although never released it as his management and producer begged him on their knees not to. The album, titled "Coke Up My Ass" was recorded in the Winter of 1985 and 1986 with rare, unreleased tracks from the album including "Coke Up My Ass (It Feels So Good)," "Flour's Evil Cousin: Cocaine," and "Anal Blood On The River"
==Personal Life==
Due to going through puberty at the age of six months, Robin quickly became a raging sex addict as well as a coke addict in his later years. In 1967, After years of being sexually attracted to his older sister, Robin finally tricked Lesley into marrying him after over 570 failed attempts to convince her. The happy incest couple ran away to Guatemala after marrying in secret since they were too embarrassed to let anyone know about their relationship. They married on May 11, 1968 and divorced exactly a year later when Lesley contracted throat gonorrhea from sucking Robin's mutilated penis after he had fucked a rotten coconut. Robin's year long absence from the Bee Gees played a factor in what led to Barry firing him from the band in 1969. Robin would then marry Molly Hullis the same year, a cougar who made some good ass green bean casserole, which is the only reason Robin stayed married to her for as long as he did as the sex he recalled was "so bad I genuinely considered committing suicide as I felt there was no way out." The couple had two children and divorced in 1979. In 1985, Robin married Edwina Murphy, a bisexual hippie author. They remained married until Robin's death in 2012.
Robin's coke addiction began in 1978 after hosting a party at his home in London and finding a small packet of what he assumed was baby powder on the floor of the bathroom left by one of the guests. Due to many years of chronic ass sweats, he opened the packet and placed the cocaine in between his ass cheeks thinking it would dry his sweat, accidentally sucking in some of the cocaine through his anus. The effects of the cocaine made Robin more horny than usual which led him to use more and more of it until becoming a full on addict by 1980. He would spend the rest of his life using cocaine but only through anal insertion as he found it the most pleasurable and secretive.
In early 1968, Robin won an award for "grossest looking penis." It was a lifetime achievement for him as he took great pride in his mutilated penis for his entire life.
An aspect of Robin's life that is rarely known is his affair that he had with Barry Gibb in the late 1960's while he was engaged to Molly. After a drunken night of penis rubbing and tongues in asses, Robin wrote this in his gay little diary:
"Last night was very weird. I hardly remember much from it, except for Barry's immaculately calloused fingers stretching my asshole wide open for him to stick his tongue in. I shall ask Molly later today if she would be willing to stick her tongue in my ass to see if it feels the same. Barry's tongue was extra moist, a feature that I am most jealous of."
==Death==
After living in seclusion from everyone with his wife for nearly 30 years, on May 20, 2012, Robin finally died after a hemorrhoid exploded inside of his ass after consuming an ungodly larger amount of cocaine than what he usually consumed in a day. He was unable to call for help as Edwina was at her usual naked yoga class and the nearest phone was in the kitchen. Robin bled out and died before paramedics came. The funeral was held on May 26, 2012 only to be delayed by a few hours as the funeral directors were unable to find the body. Edwina came to the funeral carrying her dead husband on her shoulders like how a parent carries their child as his limp body flopped against her back. When asked what she was doing with the body, she replied "I just needed to fuck him one last time before I said goodbye."
=="Coke Up My Ass" Discography==
#Coke Up My Ass (It Feels So Good)
#Bits Of Shit Inside The Colostomy Bag
#Anal Blood On The River
#Oh, She's Coming Home Tonight (My Dealer)
#A Penis In All The Vaginas Of The World
#My Brother's Honkers
#Sally Is A Stupid Fucking Name For An Adult Ass Woman
#Flour's Evil Cousin: Cocaine
#My Social Security Number Is *********
#What The Fuck (Is Rhubarb)
== See also ==
* Elton John
* Liam Gallagher
* Noel Gallagher
Category:Musicians Who Suck So Monumentally...
Category:Gay
Category:British musicians