And

thumbnail|and Andy the Android uses "and" a lot too and...
AND NEVER START A SENTENCE WITH And is a very useful word and it has many uses in grammar and it is spelled A-N-D and it can transform into anything starting with the "and" by attaching itself to the beginning of the word and an example would be "android" because android is and and droid combined together and and can attach itself to a droid to become an android and it can also become a guy and a robot and a space goat named Andy because Andy starts with "and" and you can make the word "Andy" by combining "And" and the letter 'y' and and can turn into other things named Andy too and
Richard Dawkins has been known to pronounce "and" silent.
==And here are some of and's uses in grammar and==
thumbnail|and written by Raymond Murphy and illustrated by a hobo and edited by the Cookie Monster and published by Cambridge and...
"and" can be used to combine two or more separate sentences into one really long run-on sentence and when you use and this way you can get good grades in grammar class and
the teacher will give you a cookie for knowing how to properly use the word "and" to combine lots of sentences together into one grammatically correct super sentence and I got a good grade once on an English paper about world peace and I made it be a 10-page paper and it was only one sentence and
thumbnail|and this kid is going to get lots of presents because she's using the "and" to combine this independent Santa Clause with a dependent Santa Clause in another mall and...
the word "and" also has other uses in grammar too and can be used to combine two Santa Clauses together and at least one Santa Clause has to be an independent Santa Clause and when you use and to combine two Clauses together, they form one super Santa Clause who gives you twice as many presents and he also eats twice as many cookies and
and can be used to make a list of things and ideas and places and verbs and adjectives and adverbs and cookies and an example of this would be different kinds of fruit such as oranges and apples and grapes and watermelons and fruit roll-ups and fruit gushers and ketchup and salsa and burritos and sushi and origami and oranges and apples and grapes and watermelons and other fruit too and that's all the kinds fruit I can think of right now and
==and has a deep history behind it and==
the first time the word "and" was ever used was a long time ago when one day a duck wanted to swim in his pond and attack nearby human villages and rub his belly at the same time and he couldn't because the word "and" wasn't invented yet and it was at the time impossible to do more than one thing at once and the duck's name was Jeff and Jeff got angry because he wanted to do more than one thing at once and then he became so angry that he split in half and both halves of him turned into nun-chuck wielding robot ninja ducks with melted cheese guns and one half of Jeff swam in the pond while the other half stealthily and ferociously attacked all the surrounding villages with his nun-chucks and melted cheese and cool ninja moves and he rubbed his belly at the same time and then the half of him swimming in the pond became jealous because the other half could both plunder the villages with nun-chucks and a melted cheese gun and rub his belly all at the same time and all he could do was swim in the pond so the half of Jeff that was swimming in the pond started a toast-buttering factory and became rich and the other half was jealous because he wasn't rich and he invented fast food by shooting food with his melted cheese gun and then he sold the food and became richer than the half of Jeff that had the toast-buttering factory and then they both became so jealous of each other that both halves of Jeff collided in an epic battle and exploded and then they created the word "and" because they were then Jeff and Jeff combined and then English teachers everywhere were happy because they could make the word "and" be very confusing by teaching the proper use of the word in grammar and that's how the word "and" was first used by a pair of ducks or if you think about it is just one duck really
and many many years later Jeff the duck joined a folk band and became Jeffy the break dancing duck and Jeff was very proud of his new title and danced for the rest of his unnaturally long life, and by unnatural I mean not natural
and two hundred years after the life of Jeffy the break dancing duck, another duck by the name of Harold was born and right from the beginning Harold was different and in more ways than one because Harold the duck was a magical creature and he had the ability to sing strange songs that very few people enjoyed, he also had the odd ability of being able to count to 5 which for a duck is very special and here the tale of the ducks of and ends and also many other things happened, but who pays attention to details anyways and
thumbnail|and the first chapter of the Old Testy Mint was just one very long sentence and it tells how the world was created and...
it was later used in the Old Testy Mint to create the longest sentence in a book ever and
then prehistoric midgets used the word "and" to create both the wheel and fire so that they could make new nuclear weaponry that could both move on wheels on shoot flaming marshmallows at their enemies and they couldn't make it shoot flaming nuclear missiles at the time because back in prehistoric times, marshmallows were the only form of ammunition available and nuclear missiles weren't invented yet and then Andy the asteroid fell out of the sky to invite the prehistoric midgets to a barbecue party and he accidentally landed on the midget's moving and flaming-marshmallow-shooting nuclear weapon and caused a nuclear explosion and all the dinosaurs and midgets died except for the ones who were ninjas because they hid in the shadows and then used cool ninja moves to assassinate the nuclear explosion and jump around on their shoe and spring and then Andy the asteroid was sad because none of the ninja midgets could only eat Kosher food and barbecue isn't Kosher and Andy cried and went home and
thumbnail|and George Bush is especially concerned with terrorism and Iraq and raising gas prices and...
today in history, world leaders are concerned with terrorism and gas prices and world hunger and pollution and inventing more than one thing at the same time and they're concerned about all these issues all at the same time and today "and" has also become a secret weapon of the hobos to confuse students across the world by using confusing sentences and paragraphs and letters involving the word being used in very confusing and destructive ways in standardized test monsters such as the SAT and ACT and
=="and" is also used in technology and Boolean logic and==
is used by computer programmers to combine two or or more conditional statements into an and-statement and if the two conditions both return as true then the and-statement returns as true and any following events in the programming are executed and if one condition doesn't return as true then the and-statement returns as false and the program doesn't perform the events that the programmer specifies it to do if the and-statement were to return true and if more than one condition returns as false then it still doesn't execute the specified actions that would take place if all the conditions returned as true and if all the conditions return as false then it still doesn't execute the said events and the programmer becomes sad and the computer then feels sorry for the programmer and gives him/her a cookie to cheer them up and an example of such an and-statement would be:
if(Kitten_sees_you && Kitten_is_hungry)
{
 Kitten_nuke_whales();
 Kitten_summons_ninjas();
 Ninjas_attack_with_spaghetti_and_sausages();
 Kitten_eat_you();
}
and what this and-statement says is that if the kitten sees you and the kitten is hungry then the kitten will nuke the whales and it will summon ninjas to use cool ninja moves on you and then the ninjas will flip out and kill you with spaghetti and sausages and then the kitten will eat you and this would be a piece of coding from the robotic kitten's programming and it is used in modern robot kitten weaponry technology and robot kittens are excellent examples of how "and" is used in technology and
==and is also used in the media a lot and==
thumbnail|and "and" is used often in advertising and...
can be found used on billboards and on signs and in the credits of movies and at restaurants and at theme parks and in Antarctica and in commercials and it is so useful in the media today because it gives us more than one product to buy and it allows us to buy several several different products at the same time and it also allows money-hungry corporations to take more than one person's money at once by allowing more than one person to buy their useless product at once and
=="and" has other uses too and==
"and" makes ice cream yummier because with "and" we can put chocolate syrup and sprinkles and whipped cream and a cherry on ice cream all at the same time and lets you have more than one character class in role playing games and it creates diversity in the human race because there are white people and black people and Asian people and Hispanic people and Eskimo people and islander people and blue people and purple people and cheese people instead of just vanilla-flavored people and "and" can be used to annoy people by making absurdly long run-on sentences and...and... uh... and I guess that's all and 
==anding==
and they lived happily ever after...
THEAND!
Category:Grammar
Category:Words
Category:English language
Category:Logic
eo:Kaj
fi:Ja
pl:I