Damsels in Distress

"Damsels in Distress" is the 42nd episode of Wiksteria Lane.
==Summary==
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and when the women of Wiksteria Lane find themselves at odds with each other over the most peculiar of matters, all hell breaks loose and bitches go crazy. Meanwhile, Staff members Sannse and Trellar have a minor misunderstanding, Rena and Jdg set off to track down and capture the murderous dog on the loose, and Devious Peep is hired as the personal bodyguard for pop music sweetheart Taylor Swift.
==Plot==
"Did you just slap your own mother?!" BelleLover asks, one hand over her red cheek, horror in her eyes. Before her stands the shocked DisneyMeerkats, saying, "Um, did you lie to me my whole life? Let me think, um, yes!!" Elsewhere, the conversation is different. "You are any more beautiful than me!!" the aggravated Lady Junky says, to which Primadonna Girl replies, "You wish you dumb French bitch, I am so beautiful that the Mayans paid sacrifices to me thousands of years before I was born!!"; "You just hate me because I'm more successful than you!" WerriGleek says, in one of her moments of lucidity. "Whatchu say fool?! Aw dats it you eatin' boob!!" Devious Peep grabs her sister by the face and shoves it against her large cleavage.
In no time, all of the women gathered at Wiksteria Lane's chatroom are engaged in a big brawl, throwing food around, punching and bitch-slapping, biting, scratching and pulling boobs out. Lady and Prima roll around on the floor, at each other's throats, and after Werri randomly punches Disney, Belle grabs her by the breasts and shoves her face into a pie on the long table. I luv pll rolls around in the air like a Samurai, and hits fabulous homosexual Camsay in the head with her frying pan. Country-pop sweetheart Taylor Swift swings her guitar around, somewhat frightened, and Peep grabs a pie off of the table and smashes it over Belle's head, yelling "WEAR DAT AS A HAT BITCH!!" A pair of red high-heeled shoes approaches the commotion.
Two days before the big brawl, Primadonna Girl is seen admiring herself in front of one of her template's many, many mirrors. She looks exquisite, as she always does. She smiles as she lets all of her immense beauty sink in.
"I am so pretty," Prima says. She caresses her gentle figures with her gentle hand. Exhuding femininity. "Mirror, mirror on the wall," she says, "Who is the fairest of them all?" She stands in silence for a few seconds. "Your silence speaks volumes," she tells the mirror, "Even my own reflection can't live up to my beauty." She prepares to leave. She makes her way downstairs, telling herself, "Time to go make the world a more beautiful place by going outside." She walks out of the template. It had been drizzling, but suddenly the rain stops falling down, purely by coincidence. A little ray of sunshine pokes through the clouds. "My beauty awakens the sun," she says, with glee. She starts walking around the portal, ever so lady-like. She walks past Belle's home, and the middle-aged woman is seen going through her mail by its box.
"Hello, Prima," she says, with a large smile, "You're looking very lovely today." Prima stops, looking somewhat insulted, and says, "Excuse you, madam, but I look very lovely every day." Belle is taken aback by this. "Well, um, of course you do, I didn't mean..." "I'm sorry," Prima interrupts, "I realize this was rather rude of me. I understand you didn't mean anything negative by that comment. It's just a commonplace expression." "Exactly," Belle says. "I mean, surely you must acknowledge that I look beautiful every single day," the diva continues, "You would have to be blind not to. And judging by those horrendous, off-the-rack thick, bottle-bottom glasses of yours, I'm sure you can see very well just how pretty I am. All the time." "Um..." Belle doesn't quite know how to respond. The blonde bombshell goes on: "I don't even know how it happens, to be honest" - she chuckles a little, gracefully - "I mean, I went to bed last night looking amazing. This morning I woke up looking perfect." She keeps giggling. "Well, good day to you," she says, before starting to head off. Annoyed, Belle stops her, "Just hold on one second, young lady." Prima turns around to hear the older woman telling her, "You know, I used to be quite the knock-out when I was your age. I turned boys' heads. You should learn to be more humble about your good looks, because beauty fades." Prima smiles. "That's the difference between you and me, I suppose. You used to be pretty. I have been pretty my whole life and continue to be to this very day." "That hardly seems fair," Belle states, "You are in your twenties. I am a 53-year-old woman!" "Well, you look 83," Prima tells her, "I'm sorry, but age is no excuse, it is nothing but a number. Madonna is in her hundreds and she looks way better than you. And she doesn't look very good, which is saying something about you. If I ever look like that when I'm 53, I hope somebody shoots me in the face." "Bitch I will shoot you in the face right now if you don't knock that crap out!" Belle blurts out. Prima smiles, unfazed. "I have offended you. I do apologize. Let's forget this ugly business... emphasys on 'ugly', tehe... and carry on with our pleasantries. Have a wonderful day, Bette." "Belle." "Monica. Bye." Prima waves and walks on. Belle looks at her infuriated. As she walks down the portal, she approaches Lady Junky, who is seen recapping her father's front yard.
"Bonjour, Prima," Lady says to her neighbor, with a big smile. "Lady! You look lovely today. Is that a brand new Chanel dress?" "Yes," Lady says, "My papa bought me as gift. For being back home." "Oh, it is just exquisite. It looks like everything you have ever worn, but it suits you perfectly. Why fix what isn't broken, am I right?" Lady's smile fades. "I no know what you mean," she says. Prima almost bursts out laughing in her face, and then says, "Oh, your faulty English is just so charming! I bet Renaboss goes crazy for it." Lady, slightly saddened, tells her, "Rena and I, we are pair no more." "Oh, that's right, I forgot..." Prima says, acting dumb, "It's alright, sweetie, I'm sure it's for the best, I could tell the two of you weren't meant to be together. Some couples, you just know are destined to be train-wrecks. On an unrelated note, I should pay him a visit sometime, I'm sure he'd like an upgrade." Lady is confused. "I, I don't understand..." Prima chuckles. "Oh sweet thing I didn't expect you to. You can barely speak the language, let alone understand it. Go tend to your jardin, I'll be off." Prima keeps on walking. Lady, still confused, doesn't get a good vibe. Soon enough, Prima is seen approaching Devious Peep's property, and the large black woman is seen using her outside bushes as a toilet.
"Ugh... Oh dear Lord," Primadonna says, as she notices the disgusting woman squatting in the bushes. "What? Watchulookinat fool?! You don't shit, dat it, does yo ass just poop out rainbows and roses?!" "Please, don't talk to me. Ever. Oh God, the smell... I'm calling the police!" Prima turns around to head back to her template, but is stopped by Peep's shouts. "You think you betta than everybody else, bitch! You worthless li'l pissashit!!" Prima turns around, angry. "What did you just say to me?" Lady and Belle approach them, due to the commotion. Peep stands up and pulls her pants up, "Ya hard me! You trot around like you are Mary motha of Jesus reborn, but you a nobody, fool! You ain't got no job, you ain't goin' nowhere, and you ain't doin' nothin' fo' nobody! You is worthless, deal wiv it!" Prima looks irate for a while. Belle grins. Then the former First Lady of the Glee Wiki says, "Yes, well, I'm still prettier than you." "Oh no you di'nt!!" "This again?" Belle says. "Why do you fink you are more beautifuller than everybody?" Lady jumps in. "Because I am, God damn it!! Why is that such a hard notion for everyone?!" "Well then, we settle dis," Peep says, "We have a beauty-off, beyotch." "What?" "All dem ladies. We have a beauty pageant or sum shit. We get together at the chatroom and be judged by men. They decide who is da prettiest." Prima smiles. "I love the idea," she says. "Good," Peep tells her, with a wicked grin, "Dis shud be fun." "Losing isn't fun," Prima comments. Belle and Lady get a thought to enter the competition as well. Prima says, "Well, I shall make all the arrangements. Now, if we are done, I shall head off on my way." She turns around, hoping to go back home. Peep, still annoyed, reaches her hand into the bushes. "Just one mo' thang..." Prima's whole world collapses and she screams out in horror, before fainting, due to the steaming pile of African-American excrement that hits her in her blonde hair.
Some time later, after Prima had been reanimated and taken to get herself cleaned, Devious Peep arrives on the lane in her old car, which has seen far better days. The mirror is still cracked from the accident involving Sunshine. The trunk is full and partially open due to having so much stuff in it. She parks the car and gets out. She heads towards the trunk and opens it, starting to take out all of the stuff in black garbage bags that she has collected around wikia, by barging into people's homes pretending to be a Staff member. Renaboss notices her from his kitchen window, and heads out. "What is all this?" he asks, suspicious. "Um..." Peep struggles to come up with an answer before the young Chat Mod, "I won the Black Lottery. So I squandered a little, big whoop." "You know, I received a call. Someone informed me that there is a person going around pretending to be a Staff member, and robbing people blind." "Um... damn those hispanics," Peep says; "I'm hispanic," Rena tells her; "And what a damn fine cholo caliente you are, hmmm..." Peep says, trying to act seductively, whilst rubbing her large black index finger on his chest. "Please don't touch me," Rena says, nauseated. "Now," he continues, "Would you happen to know anything about that?" "Look baby I just wanna get my shit home that I bought square and fair at da Gallery," Peep tells him. "Well, maybe I should check with the Gallery personnel." "You do dat," Peep says. Her phone rings and she answers it. "Wot?" On the other side, a male voice says, "Hello, is this Sannse, the Staff member?" "The one and only," Peep responds. "Oh, my. What an honor. Well, here's the thing, I'm not sure if you remember me, but you were in my home earlier today. I said I didn't have any money with me to help fund your Staff project and you left your calling card so that I may contact you after I went to the ATM." "You got mah money now fool?" "Yes, but, actually, there's more to that. You see, I am the personal manager of Taylor Alison Swift, the country music superstar." "Dat skanky hoe?" Peep blurts. "Yes, the one and only," the man says, "And we are in dire need of protection. Poor Taylor has been receiving some threatening notes. Someone wants to kill her, it would seem. We could really use some help from Staff to sort this matter out." "Hold up hold hold da fuck up! You tellin' me you want me to be her bodyguard?" "Um... sure, I suppose, not really what I..." "AW MAH GAW!! AW MAH GAW!! AW MAH GAW!!!" Peep is ecstatic. "I'ma gon' be rite dere fool!!" She hangs up. "Um, excuse me, we were talking here?" Rena tells her. "Shut up fool I'm gon' be a bodyguard to a supahstar!! They want Sannse to protect THE Taylor Alison Swift." Rena doesn't speak. He just shoots her a stern look. "Aw, shit..." Peep says. "Well, I guess that answers my earlier question," Rena says. "Aw come on papi!! We had hot sex like two days ago, can't you let dis slip, for old time's sake?" Rena is confused and disgusted. "Um, please stop dreaming and/or fantasizing about me." He takes out his handcuffs and starts to say, "Devious Peep, you are under arrest, anything you say..." Peep shuts him up by giving him a great big slap in the face, saying, "Ain't nobody got time fo' dat fool!" She gets back in her car and drives away. Rena tries to chase after her but is unable to. "I'm gon' be a supahstar!!" Peep shouts. As she drives off, something falls off of her semi-open trunk. Rena gives up the chase, looking annoyed. He then takes notice of the large, heavy, shiny object: a red scythe. He picks it up and examines it, intrigued.
Gleekobsessed is seen unpacking some things inside of Dr. Sonya's small template on Wiksteria Lane. He brings with him as many things as he could possibly salvage from his destroyed home, all in one large carton box that is placed on the couch. He turns around to face Sonya, who's made some tea, and shows appreciation for letting him stay, yet again. Sonya puts the tray down on the coffee table, and tries to brush it off, saying it's nothing. "I was surprised you asked to move in with me," he adds, however, "Not that I'm complaining, of course." His manner is all awkward. Gleek turns back to him. He then leans back against the armrest of the couch and tells his companion, "I guess I... I thought of staying at a hotel first, obviously my expense account could cover it nicely. But..." "What?" "I'm lonely. And depressed. I feel... powerless, and... I'm just in a really bad place right now. I could use the company." Sonya nods, looking sympathetic, and says, "Me too." "Besides," Gleek continues, "My darling ex-wife would probably have agreed to let me stay with her, but there is only so much of shallow, egotistic and empty-headed behavior I can tolerate."
Elsewhere, Primadonna Girl makes her way through the parking lot of the Wiksteria Lane Gallery, visiting it for the first time since she moved to that wiki, and having heard wonders about it, being the greatest shopping center of the whole of wikia. She plans on buying some pretty outfit to wear at the pageant. She approaches the entrance, and the automatic doors open before her. She stops and stares, amazed. "My beauty opens doors..." she says, and enters the building.
Lynettefan2626 sits in his office, with I luv pll holding up the phone to his face. "Yes, Sadball. Thank you. That's all I wanted to hear. We shall meet tomorrow night and get it done then. Goodbye." He nods at Pll to hang up the phone, which she does. Then the phone rings again. Pll holds it up against Lynette's face once more. "Hello?... Oh... Okay. Um, it's for you," he tells Pll. The maid answers it. "Hola?" "Fool you ain't nevah gon' believe dis shit I'ma be a bodyguard for Taylor effing Alison fucking Swift!!" Devious Peep says, on the other side of the call, as she keeps on driving. "Okay," Pll answers. "Also, gurl, we's gon' have a beauty-off at the Wiksteria Lane chatroom, be there tomorrow and look sexy!" "Okay." "Bye bitch love ya!" "Okay." They both hang up. "I leave," Pll tells her boss, "I go look sexy." "What?" Lynette asks, confused, "I don't know what that means, but you're on the clock, please get back to work." "Quiero más es que te jodas, bye." Pll says, calmly. She starts to head out. Her boss just looks on with confusion and indignation.
The maid leaves the office and enters Lynette's bedroom. She opens his closet, and then pulls out one of the drawers. Inside are many dresses, female clothing items. Clothes once worn by Lynette's beloved late wife, RandomRambler.
Flashback - Lynettefan2626, holding his briefcase, comes home from work one day, back in his married days, and enters his living room, where his wife, RandomRambler, is seen sitting on the couch, a drink in the coffee table before her. "Honey, I'm home," he says, with a smile, and approaches her from behind, kissing her on the forehead. "Hey," Random greets him, smiling. Lynette notices that they have company, and asks who they might be. "Honey, this is I luv pll. She's, um, well she's the only person who responded to our want ad for a live-in maid." "Hello there," Lynette greets the Asian-looking Latin woman, "Welcome to our home. So, um, is this a done deal?" Random says, "Pretty much, Pll here seems competent and dedicated, and Missy responded well to her. I think we have our maid." Pll doesn't smile, as she never does. "Wonderful," Lynette says, "Now, I have to unwind. Long day at the office, you know how it is." Lynette moves to sit down next to his wife, but accidentally knocks over her drink with his briefcase. "I clean," Pll says, moving quickly to wipe it clean with a rag she kept in her pocket. "Oh," Lynette says, "Well, how... practical." He chuckles. Pll then gets up and tells them, "I go to bedroom now, get myself home, I make dinner then. Burritos." She leaves. Lynette is a bit taken aback by her stoic demeanor, but his wife tells him, cheerfully, "Oh, I'm so happy, we finally have a maid." "She's a bit odd though, isn't she?" her husband tells her. "Oh, it'll just take some adjustment, sweetie," the beautiful brunette says, "I'm sure in no time you'll think of her as family." She kisses him on the cheek. Pll hears this from the stairs and keeps on walking.
Back in the present, I luv pll holds up the dress that belonged to her deceased employer. She admires it with relative sadness in her eyes. Then she says, "I keep." And leaves the bedroom with the dress in tow.
Gleekobsessed stands alone in an empty parking lot, in a rather abandoned part of the Glee Wiki, that should have made room for a housing complex but the projects were pushed back due to the war. IceBerry, his old assistant, drives up in his cheap car, and parks it. He gets out and walks up to his old boss, asking what the urgency was. Gleek hesitantly tells Ice that he needs his help. "What with?" the emo-looking young secretary asks. Gleek explains that he needs Ice to be his eyes and ears, his inside man, and report to him whatever he can learn about Lynette and his war plans. Ice's eyes widen, and he asks, in a louder tone, "Are you insane?!" Gleek tries to get him to calm down, and explains to him that he's his current only shot. "Ice, please, you used to be loyal to me. We used to even be friends." "Until you fired me!" "Until you fucked my wife!!" This prompts Ice to shut up. "Look," Gleek starts to say, "We've both been bad. But this, what is happening, is so much worse, Ice. People's lives are gonna be on the balance, all because of that psychopath you teamed up with. And I know you don't want to be a part in it, Ice. You don't want to be an accomplice. So please, I am begging you, help me." Ice bites down on his lower lip, and gets nervous. "I... I don't wanna get involved..." "How can you not?" Gleek asks, "You are working for an evil mastermind, up close and personal. Right now you're his right arm. You are involved. Now it's up to you to choose a side. I so hope you choose the right one." Ice inhales deeply. "It's just..." "What?" Gleek asks. The young man looks his old boss in the eyes and says, "I'm afraid of him..."
Someone knocks on Dr. Sonya's front door, and the former physician opens it to find Camsay standing there. "Hi!" the fabulous young homosexual says, "Would you like to have sex with me?"
"Um, uh... ex-excuse me?" the awkward Dr. Sonya says, baffled. "Hi, I'm sorry, oh my gee, I am so terrible at introductions!" Cam enters the template, giggling, and says, "I'm Camsay, I just moved onto the lane, I live at the pretty blue one, 4358. I saw you from across the portal and noticed you had a wicked case of the gay face, and since I'm new and don't really know many people here, I thought we could fornicate and get to know each other better." Sonya closes the front door, unable to utter any words properly. "Oh, so cute," Cam says, "I like when they stutter, it's so adorkable. Take your pants off, sweetie." Sonya stands not knowing how to react. Camsay walks up to him and starts rubbing his private area. Then plants a kiss on him. Sonya goes along with it.
In his office, Lynette calls out for I luv pll, asking to know where his snack is. Impatient, he gets up and leaves, searching the template for his maid. He opens the semi-closed door to one of his bedrooms and spots Andalusian, his new hire, scrubbing her bazooka. Their eyes meet. "Oh," he says, "Sorry. Carry on." He keeps on walking, looking for his maid. Andalusian keeps cleaning her pet rocket launcher.
DisneyMeerkats opens up her closet, and rummages through all of the female clothes she has collected in her short time as a woman. She wrinkles her nose at them, slightly annoyed.
BelleLover enters the navbar, and informs her daughter of the incident that took place earlier and led to the women of Wiksteria Lane apparently deciding to enroll in a sort of pageant the following day to figure out which of them is prettier. "I think I might do it too, just for fun," Belle says, before chuckling, "Of course I don't expect to win." Disney sighs, frustrated, and her mother asks what's wrong. "I don't know what to wear, but... I have so many new clothes." "Welcome to womanhood, dear," Belle says, "You're learning." Belle chuckles, and Disney, annoyed, sits down on the bed. Belle sits down next to her and asks what's wrong again, detecting that something else is up. Disney doesn't want to tell her mother. Belle insists, and Disney ultimately lets out that, "I can't adjust to this... All of it, breasts, tight clothes, high heels, I... It's all too much. And these hormones... I found myself enjoying Sex and the City reruns last night." Belle puts her arm around her baby's shoulders and says, "Sweetie, it's fine. I know this is hard on you, but I honestly think you've adapted to it so well. I'm proud of you. And it's only going to get better and easier, I promise you." Disney doesn't look too uplifted, however. "Mommy..." she says, "I hate being a woman..." Belle looks saddened for her. "Oh, sweetie... Whose fault is that?"
Primadonna Girl comes out of the Gallery, carrying several shopping bags. Her decision to buy one new dress ultimately resulted in her buying fifteen, all on her ex-husband's expense account. The parking lot is surprisingly empty. As her high-heeled shoes tap across the pavement, she smiles and hums a little tune, with her sugary-sweet voice. Then she hears a strange noise that catches her attention. A rumbling sound. She turns around, slightly alarmed, and is horrified when her eyes capture the image of a wild, large black beast approaching her, slowly, ready to attack its prey at any time. "Back off, little doggy... back off Lulu," she says, "Mommy doesn't want any trouble..." Scared beyond her mind, Prima's reaction starts out by backing away from the dog. With each step she takes back in her high heels, the dog gets one step closer, growling, drooling from his large mouth with vampire-esque canines. Suddenly, Prima turns around, drops her bags and starts running, screaming out loud, purse still on her shoulder, and the dog starts its chase. Prima jumps on top of a nearby car, parked under the shade of a tree. Rockaboss lunges itself at the car and starts to scratch the hood with its claws. Unnerved, the young diva grabs on for her dear life to a branch of the tree, and pulls herself up, screaming all the while. The dog goes around the car and gets on the hood. Prima moves on up, climbing up the branches of the tree, showing some surprising gymnastic abilities, and the dog jumps up and down, roaring ferociously. Prima takes her pink gem-incrusted smartphone out of her purse and calls 911. She asks to speak with the firemen, her voice jittery. Once the call is redirected, she says, "Hello? Um, um, I, I understand t-that, that you guys get cats out of trees. W-well, there is a very pretty kitten on a tree next to the Wiksteria Lane Gallery that needs rescuing. Please hurry, I'm afraid of heights!!" Shaking from her nerves, she accidentally drops the phone. Rocky jumps up and swallows it whole. "Oh, God..." Prima starts to cry.
In her studio set, Edie Rothwell fan7, the most notable TV hostess of all of wikia, is seen sitting down with repeat guest Taylor Alison Swift, the country-pop sensation, and tells her, "Thank you so much for being here with me today, Taylor, even though you were here only a few days ago, and you're only here again because my producers are fucking morons." Taylor smiles and says it's always a pleasure to drop by her show. "I know, sweetie, I know," Edie turns to the audience and the cameras and continues, "Well, that's all that we have time for. And you know what that means... Because momma loves you all so much... Everybody look under your damn chairs. And you'll find... A BRAND NEW STRAP-ON DILDO!!" The guests all look under their seats and cheer as they admire their gifts. Edie starts running around next to the audience and pointing at them and shouting, "You're getting fucked in the ass! You're getting fucked in the ass! You're getting fucked in the ass! YOU'RE ALL GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS!!!" The audience thrives with excitement. At home, Jdg98, sitting on the couch and watching the show on his TV, says, to himself, "Well, this show has gone downhill fast..."
Rena comes home from the Moderation Station. Across the portal, a few templates down, he can see Lady recapping the front yard. The blonde beauty looks up and sees him too. After two seconds, Rena waves his hand at her, awkwardly, and briefly. She does the same.
Rena then enters the template. He walks into the navbar just as Jdg switches the channel to the news. Rena asks him if everything has already been taken care of in order for him to join the army. "Yep," Jdg says, casually. Rena sighs. "What?" Jdg asks. "You already know what," he says, as he sits down at the dining table, opening up the daily paper, "You already know where I stand on that. There really isn't much point in dwelling in it, is there?" Jdg stands up, annoyed, to face him. "I find it funny how you're always trying to play the hero part, fighting off the bad guys or whatever, but as soon as I decide to fend for myself and do the same you think you're entitled to get pissy about it." Rena looks at him, for a few seconds. Then he says, "I find it funny that after everything I have done for you, after putting a roof over your head and sparing you time and time again despite the things I know you've done, when I express my worry, my concern for your sake and for your life because I care about you, you still don't seem to understand where I am coming from." This shuts Jdg up. The young man looks at his protector with sadness. Then, their little conversation is ruined by the announcement on the news that the local firefighters managed to ward off a feral beast that was attacking an innocent young woman at the Gallery's parking lot. Amateur footage, captured with one of the fireman's phone cams, is shown, depicting the animal being chased away. Rena and Jdg recognize Rocky... Their jaws drop. Next up, Primadonna Girl is interviewed by a reporter. "I was so scared for my beauty," she says, tears streaming down her face, "I was so worried that beast was gonna bite my pretty away." The reporter then goes on to say that the same dog who attacked the former First Lady of the Glee Wiki is supposedly the wild animal that has been killing people all over Wiksteria Lane. "Oh my God..." Jdg says, completely stunned, "You mean... Cat's dog is the one that killed our neighbor? And that kid, and all those people?" Rena, completely mortified, doesn't know how to react. Until he eventually says, "We have to capture him..." Jdg looks up at him, and Rena continues, "We have to kill that damn dog..."
The blonde beauty - so many of those - waits anxiously by the door to the navbar. She knows she has to go inside and check on her "superior", but she really, really, really doesn't want to. Trellar can't stand the sight of the woman. So creepy, and peculiar. So... insane. But Rappy wants her to constantly make sure that the love of his life (God, how Trella hates her...) is fine. She's weak, poor thing. Damn mob. Trellar wishes she could thank the mob somehow, however. And then scold them for not finishing the job. She finally enters the navbar. And instantly gets a chill. So chilly. Dank, cold, dark, scary. The cobwebs, the dust piling up, the smell of... something she can't quite put a finger on. Smells like naphthalene, mold, wet dog, all mixed up into one odd odor. And death. Smells of death. Sannse lies across her bed, one arm sticking out of it, the other across her waist. She opens her eyes, barely. Noticing Trellar's presence, she asks one thing, and one thing only: "Please... my baby... Give me my baby..." Trellar spots the ugly old doll on the bureau. She rolls her eyes while grunting and heads towards it. She picks up the doll and examines it. Turning back in Sannse's direction, she states, "You do realize this isn't your baby, right, you crazy old bat?" "Please," Sannse begs, in a weak monotonous voice, "I need her." Trella grins. "You are so pathetic," she starts to say, "I can't believe Rappy actually refuses to part with you. You disgust me." "Please..." Sannse begs, "I just want my little girl." Trellar chuckles, amused, as she holds the doll. "This what you want? This ratty old thing?" "Please..." Sannse can barely move. She tries to get up using her arms but falls back onto the bed. Too weak to move. Trellar finally tells her, "Here, you lazy bitch, take your stupid doll." She throws the doll with force at Sannse. And then she herself is sent flying across the room. Trellar screams as her body is projected by some unseen force and hits one of the walls. Sannse barely notices this. Trella gets up, as fast as she can, completely horrified. "Oh my God!!" she starts shouting, "What the fuck did you just do?! You fucking witch, you crazy-ass psycho witch!!" "Miss Edith... didn't like your tone," Sannse tells her "co-worker", with her eyes closed. She holds the doll tightly against her chest, with as much strength as she can muster. Trellar, eyes wide open, scared out of her mind, tells her, "I'm gonna burn that fucking doll, I swear to God!! I'm gonna destroy that rotten old thing, you bitch!!" Sannse doesn't respond. She falls back asleep, her baby doll in her arms. Trella leaves the navbar, freaked out, and looking back at the doll as she goes. Its smile seems to be aimed at the Staff member.
Taylor Alison Swift, the country-pop singing sensation, makes her way out of the set of the show she just did.
Her manager walks up to her with Devious Peep behind him. "Miss Swift, this is Sannse, the legendary Staff member. She's agreed to help us with our situation," he says. "Yay, awesome," Taylor says, rather enthusiastically, "So good to meet you, I have - well, who hasn't? - heard so much about you. I'm surprised to see you're black, good for you." "Nah, I'm white, I just tan real hard," Peep tells her. "Okay," the manager says, taking out some pieces of paper from his pocket, "Basically what we need assistance with, and the Moderators aren't being much help, is this: someone's been sending death threats to Taylor." He unfolds the pieces of paper before Peep's eyes, and they read, in large letters cropped out from magazines, "U WILL DIE", "I KILL YOU", "STUPID SKANK HOE UR DEAD" and so on and so forth. "Damn," Peep says to Taylor, "Sum raggedy-ass fool really wantchu dead." "Yes, people sometimes find it easy to hate me because I have everything," the pop starlet replies, casually, "So I need someone to watch my back. I thought that if I was spotted around wikia with a Staff member in tow, whoever's sending these would back off and keep from doing something stupid. Nobody wants to mess with Staff." "Damn dats smart," Peep says; "Yes," Taylor responds, "I am smarter than I'm often given credit for. Did you know I write my own songs? "You write dat shit?" "...Yes. Now, please follow me, you will be given proper attire and instructions. Let's roll." Taylor starts heading back to her dressing navbar, with Peep following in her footsteps. On the way, Taylor spots a cute young stagehand working. She plants a big wet kiss on him and they make out for a little while, to Peep's surprise. Then Taylor breaks off the kiss and tells the man, "It's never going to work between us I'm going to write a song about you bye." They keep on walking.
Rena and Jdg head towards their car, ready to leave and set about finding Rockaboss. Jdg brings with him a shovel. "Are we really going to kill the dog?" he asks. Rena asks what other choice they have, and Jdg realizes he has a point, and reminds him that "I hated that damn mutt the moment it came into our home. I can't believe Mary had... feelings for him." Rena shakes his head. Jdg opens the trunk to store the shovel, and notices the large scythe in it. "Dafuq is this?" he asks, and Rena explains that it's a titanium scythe Devious Peep stole from somewhere. "Well, are you gonna give it back?" Jdg wonders. Rena, allured by the fascinating object, tells him, "Um... yeah. Sure." As he prepares to enter the car, Lady Junky stops him. He asks her what she wants, to which she says, "I just... I hoped we talk. We haven't talked many since I got back home." Rena looks at her for a few seconds, with a slightly sad look. Then he tells her, coldly, "I don't really wanna talk to you. Ever." He gets back in the car, and Lady is stung. She walks back to her father's property, and Rena closes his eyes inside the car and sighs. This pained him.
Elsewhere, watching this awkward exchange go down, Lynette is titillated. Sitting in the monitoring station over at the Staff headquarters in the company of Sadball48, he watches the spectacle take place, whilst the scientist just marvels at the high-tech system before him. "So, from here, they can keep track of anything that happens in all of wikia?" "Yeah," Lynette responds, "Every single building has a camera system. Several cameras spread throughout it, and around it. You enter the data into the computer and you can see whatever view you want from whichever building." Sadball is amazed. "Once a building is destroyed, like Gleek's manor - one of my proudest achievements, not gonna lie - the core system and all the cameras are too, and we can't see it anymore. There's just one template on my old portal we can't see for some reason despite it still being there, Rappy is gonna check it out I think." "So, not that I'm complaining, since this has really been interesting," Sadball says, "Why did you bring me here?" Lynette stares at Lady, looking depressed on her frontyard, and grins. "Because, I want us to be able to watch... It's not fun if we can't see it..."
DisneyMeerkats is sitting on her kitchen table, circling newspaper want ads. BelleLover walks in and kisses her daughter on the forehead. "How's the job hunt going?" she asks. Disney, looking glum, tells her it's not going very well, none of the jobs are interesting or pay well. "Honey, you were working at a burger joint, what standards exactly were you setting?" her mother asks, which upsets Disney. She closes the newspaper and gets up to leave. "Oh, sweetie," Belle says, trying to stop her, "I'm sorry, look, look, I was just kidding, I'm sorry, please don't go." Disney turns back around, clearly frustrated. Belle puts her hands on her girl's cheeks and says, "Why are you so blue lately, sweetheart?" "Mom I hate my life, okay?" Disney sits back down, head over her hands. Belle is incredibly saddened for her child. She sits down next to her, and asks why. Disney starts to rant, that she's not happy being a woman, that she is jobless, that she is having feelings for a shallow high-maintenance woman who will probably never love her back, at least not as much... "And on top of that," she says, to finish it all off, "I'm pretty sure the man you're fornicating with is my father." Belle's jaw drops a little. Disney continues, sternly, "Is he... ma?" Belle doesn't know what to say. "Honey..." "Because I've been having memories. Just springing back up on me. I remember his face. When I was a kid. I remember living with him, I remember him coming to look for you at the orphanage. And the way he reacted when I told him what my name was... Mom... Is he my father?" Belle bites down on her lower lip and starts to tear up a little. "Yes..." she finally says. Disney closes her eyes at the revelation, and takes a deep breath. "I'm so sorry..." Belle says, "As you grew up and started to forget about him, it was just easier for me to say that your father was long dead. I am so sorry." She moves her hand to touch her daughter, but Disney flinches away. "Sweetie," Belle says, without knowing what else to add. "Why... why hasn't he reached out to me? Why doesn't he want to have a relationship with me?" "I... I don't know, he... he's been away from you for so long and he has so much going on." "Right... God forbid he should dedicate any time to his transsexual child." Annoyed, Disney gets up and starts to leave again. Belle is left incredibly troubled. Disney turns back once more to say, "Oh, mom... Andalusian is here on wikia." Belle looks back again, wide eyes. Disney leaves.
Gleekobsessed comes back to Sonya's template on Wiksteria Lane. He brings with him a small bonsai tree to cheer up the place, knowing Sonya appreciates them. He has a subtle smile on his lips, for lately the only thing that's been able to cheer him up is his re-blossoming relationship with Dr. Sonya. They can't be a public couple. First it was because he was married. Now, for the simple reason that Sonya is a convicted murderer who is now randomly out of jail and no one on the portal seems to mind much. Not finding his lover downstairs, he heads up and enters his navbar... only to drop the bonsai to the floor at the sight of Sonya lying naked in bed, under the sheet, making out with Camsay, who is on his knees over the bed, over the sheet, wearing nothing but red laced panties. The pair breaks off their make-out session once they hear the small tree's vase crack on the floor. The dirt soils the carpet. "Gleek?" Sonya says. "Um, u-", Gleek stutters a little, "There is a man in red laced panties on your bed." "Do you like them?" Cam asks, gleefully, "I just got them, they're super comfy! I call myself Little Red Riding Wood." Gleek doesn't know how to react. "Are you okay?" Sonya asks, awkwardly. Gleek can't voice a response. "I'm sorry, I, I didn't actually expect this to happen," Sonya says, "But, but since we never agreed to be exclusive at any point, I..." "It's okay," Gleek says, "Truly. I, I should go." "Wait up sexy thing, don't go..." Cam begs, "We can make it a trio. I wanna be the ham in this sandwich. Fill every hole in me, boys! Butt, mouth, nostrils, I want them up everything!" Gleek very awkwardly tries to pick up the bonsai tree and the dirt from the carpet. Sonya gets up out of bed and tells him to leave it be, but Gleek says, "No, no, no, I got it, I got it, I..." "Gleek..." "I GOT IT!!" he lashes out. Sonya is intimidated. "Oh come on," Cam says from the bed, "Are you gonna make a big deal out of this?" Gleek looks at the man on the bed, infuriated. "Gleek, please..." Sonya begs, "Please don't get angry." Gleek tries to calm down. "Didn't your mother teach you to share?" Cam asks. Gleek looks at him, rage in his eyes, and says, "She did. I just never cared to listen." Tree in his hands, spilling dirt all the way, Gleek leaves. Sonya looks sad. Camsay looks bored and starts to sing a Chér medley.
Taylor Alison Swift is writing a new song in her dressing room, and suffering from writer's block. "I have no idea what to write this song about!" she says, before turning her head to Devious Peep and asking, "Any suggestions?" Devious Peep, dressed like a professional bodyguard, complete with dark sunglasses and a handgun, says, "Well, somebody be tryin' to do you in, fool. Write about dat." "You are so wise," Taylor says, "I was so caught up in writing about love and heartbreak and colors that I forgot what's really important: terrorist threats." She starts writing. Peep plays around with her gun. "You know, I feel really blessed that you, a Staff member who is probably always so occupied, took the time to watch over me. Like a guardian angel. You're my angel, Sannse." Peep gets touched. "I just know you're gonna keep me safe tomorrow night during my big concert." "Hold up, when is dat shit? Cuz I gots me a prior engagement." Taylor asks what it is, and Peep says, "Beauty pageant, I'ma rock dat shit." Taylor, surprised, says, "Oh. Well, that, um, that sounds like fun. Can I participate?" "Sure, whateva, fool. Contest ain't gon' be nuthin' more than maggoty-ass skeleton white bitches. What's one mo'?" "I'm not sure what that means, but I take it that I can. Well, this will be fun." "I'ma wipe the runway witcho sorry ass." "Yay! We're having fun already!" Taylor resumes writing her song, oblivious to what her bodyguard says. Peep just keeps playing with the gun. She gets an itch in her crotch and uses the revolver to scratch it.
Sannse is asleep, again. She spends the vast majority of her days in a quasi-comatose state. Trellar, with a determined and evil look on her face, peeks through the semi-closed door, and then waltzes into the navbar. She sneaks around the bed and looks with contempt at the older woman lying down on it, in her blue dress. The doll in her arms. Trellar reaches for Miss Edith, and tries her very best to get it for herself. Carefully and calmly, she manages to get the doll out of Sannse's arms. She holds it up next to her face, and says, "You're gonna burn in Hell, you Satanic piece of shit toy..." Trellar starts to walk out of the navbar, faster this time, holding the doll. "Where are you going?..." the weak voice asks. Trellar stops cold on her track, closes her eyes, and sighs. She turns around to face Sannse, already awake, and trying her best to sit up on the bed. "Miss Edith needs cleaning," Trella says, "I'm going to put her in the washer." "No!" Sannse tries to scream, but falls short. She gets out of the bed, barely able to stand up by herself, and tells her, "Miss Edith bathes with me. She always has..." Trellar is grossed out. "Okay, this circus ends now, " she says, "I'm burning the fucking doll." "No!" Sannse says, louder this time, with fear in her eyes. "Or what?" Trella asks, in a provocative fashion, "You're gonna faint over my body? Try and stop me, old bitch." As soon as she utters this, a large bloody gash forms on her cheek. Trella screams with pain and drops the doll as she brings her hands up to the newly-formed wound. Miss Edith falls on her face. Sannse moves to grab it, slowly. Trella, tears forming in her eyes, says, "I'm gonna burn her!! I'M GONNA BURN HER!! I'M GONNA SEND THE FUCKING DOLL TO HELL WHERE SHE BELONGS!!" Sannse tells her, calmly, "You're a foolish girl... Nobody can hurt Miss Edith. Not as long as I protect her." "We'll see about that you fat cow!!" Sannse moves around the bed again, and sits down on it. She slowly pulls out a knife from under her pillow. Trella is confused. "You sleep with a knife under your pillow? How fucked up are you?!" Sannse does her best to hold up the knife. And one of Miss Edith's arms. "I will show you..." she says. Sannse uses all her strength to stab the doll's right hand. And Trellar screams out in pure horror and pain when a hole forms in her right hand. She holds it with her left hand as her blood drips to the floor. She gets down on her knees, screaming in pure agony, and looks at the knife wound that just pierced through her trembling hand. No knife having come near it at all. Sannse takes the knife from the doll's hand. Not a scratch on it. Unharmed. She holds her flawless little girl against her chest, puts the knife back under the pillow and lies her head down over it. She closes her eyes. And Trellar's loud, bloodcurling shrieks rock her back to sleep.
Devious Peep, dressed in a bodyguard suit, drives up to the Chatroom, behind the wheel of Taylor Alison Swift's limo. She gets out of it and opens the door to the pop starlet, who gets out and looks on at Wiksteria Lane's titular portal in the background. "Oh, is this the ghetto?" she asks, innocently. "No..." Peep says, "No, fool, dems is da suburbs. I live dere." "Shouldn't you live at the Staff headquarters?" "Shouldn'tchu shut up and look pretty?" "Oh right," Taylor agrees, "I sometimes forget." They make their way inside. I luv pll arrives in her old employer's dress. "Why you look like pig?" Pll asks her friend, referring to the cop outfit. "It comes right off," Peep explains, "I'ma do sum strippin' and teasin'." The three of them make their way inside, where BelleLover and DisneyMeerkats are already waiting, the latter against her will. "Mom, I am so not in the mood for this..." "Come on, honey, it's gonna be fun. Just parade around in the bikini I bought you, you know you'll be a hit." "Mom everyone knows I'm a transsexual, they'll just be grossed out and have no problem showing it. No one ever does." "If that happens I will murder them all, I swear, sweetie. Just try and enjoy yourself." Disney sighs. WerriGleek appears, somewhat dazed, and accompanied by Camsay, who is wearing a dress.
Peep and Werri hug, and the former tells the latter that she didn't know her sister would be doing this too. Werri, in a rare moment of sobriety/lucidity, explains that she was invited by Camsay, and was shocked to hear her sister would be doing it too and yet didn't tell her about it. "You were always jealous of my beauty," Werri tells Peep, "I guess some things never change." Peep is annoyed, but stays mum, which is a rare thing for her. Taylor appreciates the competition and thinks to herself that she has this in the bag. Then, Lady Junky and Primadonna Girl, the blonde bombshells, arrive on the scene and make her get worried. "Well, if everyone is ready, we can get started. The food and drinks have already been laid out, and the guests-slash-judges have already taken their places. I shall be the last to hit the runway. The rest of you arrange yourselves to your own accord." "Hold up hold up hold the fuck up!" Peep blurts out, "I ain't havin' none o'dis shit, you ain't goin' last fool, ya just wanna be the last one on the judges' memories!" "Honey, it is truly irrelevant, I could be sandwiched in between the rest of you and I would still be the one to make the longest lasting good impression. That being said, you do make a good point to an extent. It is only fair to save the best for last. I do believe I am the best. The rest is implicit." "I'm gon' smack da pretty outta you," Peep says. "I'm sorry, you're gonna have to bark a little louder, I can't hear you from my throne," Prima says. "I hate chu," Peep adds, to which Prima responds, "I understand. Look at me and look at you. If I were you, I'd hate me too." Belle, worried about the flying sparks, gets between the two women, telling them to cool down and save their energy for the runway show. "I think I'ma channel my energy by fucking dis bitch's skinny ass wiv mah gun!" "Oh Jesus Christ can you say one thing, just ONE THING, that doesn't make you sound like the negro trash you are?" Everyone gasps. "Aw, somebody grab me, somebody grab me, I'ma eat dis bitch!!" Werri, Pll and Cam grab Peep, who starts to take out her earrings and bracelets and rings to hit Prima. "I'm bored now," Prima says, "Let's start the show." "Yes, I'ma start dis shit, and I'ma finish it big style, beyatch, you goin' down! I'ma win dis shit." Prima rolls her eyes. "Sweetie, look, just get this through your head: piranhas like you never grow up to be mermaids like me. I have beauty coming out of my ass. All you have coming out of your ass is the same thing that comes out of your mouth. And runs through your brain. And covers your skin." Peep gasps. Soon enough, Prima is sent flying through the air. This time no doll is to blame.
Rena and Jdg have been driving around for the last day, with no sign of Rockaboss so far. "So, um," Rena starts to ask, making conversation but also wanting to know, "When do you report for duty? I mean, when does the war... start, I guess." Jdg explains to him that he'll be going the very next day, but in the meantime, since the battlefield is relatively small, he'll probably be spending some time at home on occasion anyway. Jdg then comments that the turn-out for the sign-up was pretty big and continues to be. "I guess word spread quickly of that tape with Americana dying," he says, "People are starting to realize what a monster Lynette is." "Good," Rena says, casually. "I'm surprised you haven't signed up," Jdg adds, "Just seems like the kind of thing you'd do." "I don't believe in war," Rena says, "I don't condone it." "You've been at war with Lynette since you came to wikia." "On a personal level. And to protect those I care about. And for the greater good. There is no greater good behind this. Lives will be lost for no reason at all. I refuse to be a part of it." "I think your argument has holes in it." "Yeah, well, it is what it is." "Rena..." Jdg starts to say but can't easily finish it. "What?" "Just... first of all, I love you." "Yeah, great," Rena tells him, "Thanks for making this car ride super awkward." "Well, you know what I mean. It's just... I love you, but..." "But what?" Rena asks, impatiently. "Lately I don't like you." Rena looks at him briefly, then back to the road. "You're not as fun as you used to be," Jdg continues, "You've changed, and... I don't like it." Rena doesn't know what to say at first. "It's not my fault," he says. "I know," Jdg answers, "And I don't blame you. It's just... it's not my fault either." Rena keeps on driving. They ride in silence.
"Are you good?" Lady asks, in her accent, as she helps Primadonna up to her feet. "No, I'm not GOOD, you fucking moron!! That fucking gorilla just sent me flying and you ask me if I'm good? Go stick a baguette up your cunt you dumb frog!" "I was just helping!" Lady lashes out, "Go help yourself to learn the language dipshit! It's 'okay' that you ask, not 'good'! Did your father fuck the smart out of you like he fucked the moral out of your sister on that video?!" Irritated beyond belief, Lady punches Prima in the face. "Fuck yeah!!" Peep roars. "Lemme have summa dat!" Peep prepares to jump in, but Werri holds her back again and says, "NO! Enough!" "Watchu say fool?!" "Peep stop making a joke of yourself, it's getting disgusting! I can't go anywhere with you, you always embarrass me!" "What the...?! Back the crazy train up betch I EMBARRASS YOU?! You got leakage comin' out of yo cunt right now and I embarrass you?!" "This is why mom chained you up in the basement!" "And she made you hose down my shit bucket cos she knows dats all you good for, cos you a piece of shit!!" Werri and Peep start fighting. Camsay shrieks in horror. Then he randomly slaps Taylor Swift and says, "Your second album was shit!! Why are all your songs about your exes for fuck's sake write it doesn't make you a contemporary Shakespeare it makes you a telltale whore!!" Taylor slaps him right back. Irritated by the mess, DisneyMeerkats starts to walk away. Belle chases after her ("Honey wait!"). Belle tries to grab her arm as Disney tries to get it off, and she accidentally slaps her mother. Belle doesn't realize it's an accident however. "Did you just slap your own mother?!" BelleLover asks, one hand over her red cheek, horror in her eyes. Before her stands the shocked DisneyMeerkats, who says, albeit rather unintentionally , "Um, did you lie to me my whole life? Let me think, um, yes!!" Elsewhere, the conversation is different. "You are any more beautiful than me!!" the aggravated Lady Junky says, to which Primadonna Girl replies, "You wish you dumb French bitch, I am so beautiful that the Mayans paid sacrifices to me thousands of years before I was born!!"; "You just hate me because I'm more successful than you!" WerriGleek says. "Whatchu say fool?! Aw dats it you eatin' boob!!" Devious Peep grabs her sister by the face and shoves it against her large cleavage.
Soon enough, the fight has already spread to the main room, and the guests are shocked and confused to see a bunch of women of all colors and ages and a flamboyant homosexual in a dress fighting tooth and nail. They're throwing food around, punching and bitch-slapping, biting, scratching and pulling boobs out. Lady and Prima roll around on the floor, at each other's throats, and after Werri randomly punches Disney, Belle grabs her by the breasts and shoves her face into a pie on the long table. I luv pll rolls around in the air like a Samurai, and hits fabulous homosexual Camsay in the head with her frying pan. Country-pop sweetheart Taylor Swift swings her guitar around, somewhat frightened, and Peep grabs a pie off of the table and smashes it over Belle's head, yelling "WEAR DAT AS A HAT BITCH!!" A pair of red high-heeled shoes approaches the commotion. Peep pulls out her handgun and says "Bitches gon' die now!!!" At the sight of the gun, the ladies duck. Peep points it at Prima and shoots, but the diva ducks in time and the bullet hits Taylor, who was standing behind, in the arm, grazing it. She drops her guitar and screams out. "Holy crap I'm sorry!" Peep says. The women are all slightly scared and the guests flee the scene. Then, a familiar female voice asks, "What the hell is going on here?!" All of the ladies (and Cam) turn around to face the source of the voice, a sensual young woman in a red dress by the entrance.
MaryPierceLopez approaches the women, asking again what happened. Peep promptly explains, "We all got crazy cos we wants to be the prettiests." Mary tells them, "Well, that seems like a fucking waste of time." "How do you get out of hospital thing?" Lady asks; "Who cares?" Mary answers. She then continues: "Look, this is a man's world. We already find ourselves in competition with men. We can't afford to fall out with our fellow sisters as well. You girls are all fighting over the things you have that make you different and over what you all want: to be pretty. But everyone is flawed. Everyone has something ugly to them," she turns to Lady and says, "Lady, sweetie, I love you, I've really come to accept you as my sister, but you are just so retarded when you speak." Lady's smile when she hears the first part drops when she hears the second. "Amen," Prima says; "Mhm," Peep adds. "I mean, it is just grating listening to you. I wanna bash my head against a wall. And you try to be serious or dramatic and your speaking kills it. And God knows you're constantly doing that because your life is a shitload of drama, seriously, you need to chill the fuck out, stop getting almost killed and aborting rape babies, go to the beach and get a tan." Lady is appalled. Disney tells her, "That's really mean." Mary turns to her and says, "Hey, this is between me and my sister, so go shave your moustache and let us be." "Hey!" Disney is unhappy. "Oh come on it's fine. We all know, okay? And even if no one had told us, I can still smell the testosterone in you from a mile away. And let me just ask, what on Earth would possess you to do something like that? Go from a man to... whatever the hell you are? It's insane. Bitch I love dick, but not on a chick." "I don't have a penis!!" "It's true," Prima backs her up. "You better back off, little lady," Belle jumps in. "No, you back off, Poligrip, go take your laxative dinner and let us little ladies settle this out. Also, why do I smell my father in you? Is he that desperate?" Belle shuts up. Mary moves her attention to Primadonna Girl and says, "Peep gave me the 411 on you. Get the fuck over yourself! Jesus Christ you actually spend the days telling yourself how pretty you are? Stop fooling yourself." Prima chuckles. "Stop fooling myself? Oh that's precious. I am fucking beautiful, okay? I walk around town and every man drools at me, saying i'm a sex bomb. I got a message on my computer the other day saying I had a Trojan horse. The Internet finally acknowledging that I'm a Greek goddess. You can't put me down." Mary says, "Well, you're wrong, about, pretty much everything, and you've just lost my respect." "Why do I want your respect, I don't even know your name..." "I can see none of what I'm saying is getting through to your empty head, so I'm just gonna quit trying. Have a long full life of being pretty and stupid." She turns to Camsay, in his dress, and says, "You are perfect, I love you, never ever change." Camsay almost faints. Then she turns to Peep and Pll and says, "You girls should know better than to fight. I thought I had taught you well." They look down and say, "Sorry." "You should be. Well, I'll be off now." "You didn't do me," Werri says. Mary gives her one look and says, "You're gonna be dead in two days' time, make the most of it." Werri nods. Mary turns around to leave, and before she does, she turns back around and says, "And by the way... I'm the prettiest." She heads off. "Um..." Taylor says, shaken, "Can anyone at least call an ambulance?" Peep turns to her and tells her, "It's just a scratch, fool, quit ya bitchin'!" "You're a horrible bodyguard!" Taylor shouts, "I can't believe you shot me! And you did nothing to find out who sent me those notes!" "Oh yeah dat was me," Peep says. Taylor is scandalized. "I just plain hate yo music, betch."
Primadonna Girl enters her template, having gotten back from the chatroom. She looks upset. Disney follows after her. Prima asks if she and her mother are back on good terms, to which Disney responds that it should be a process, but they have a great relationship and will surely make it through this. Noticing Prima's frustration, Disney asks what's wrong, to which the young diva says, "I just... That Latin girl was right. I'm... empty-headed." "Prima..." "No, I'm serious, what is the point in life if all I have is my good looks? My life is shallow... meaningless... I have no family... I have no one to share the important moments with. Not that I have any important moments either." "Look," Disney starts to tell her, "For what it's worth, I think you're blind to just how pretty you are." "What?" Prima asks, confused, "Are you sure? Cos I admire my beauty every day. At least 20 times." Disney smiles, "I mean, there's so much more to you. You're funny. You're actually a very funny person. Your humor is mostly sarcastic and, well, kinda mean, but it is funny. And you're smart. Kinda. Determined, and you don't take crap from anyone, and I really admire that. Plus, your fashion sense is really something, right?" Prima is moved. She smiles at her company, emotionally, and says, "It is... It really is." "And I... I've just been so... conflicted lately, because... I've been having feelings for you. That I probably shouldn't have and I know are most likely not reciprocated because, why would a beautiful woman like you end up with a poor lowlife tranny like me? But..." Prima moves in towards her and shuts her up with a kiss. "You were rambling," she says. Disney is delighted. "So... this means...?" "Yeah, well," Prima tells her, "This isn't exactly ideal to me. You were a man. Which is odd. And you still have mannish features, and you still walk and talk like a man sometimes and you have that ugly scar in your boobs from your operation which, oh my God, who did your surgery, Doctor Mountain Lion? But..." "But..." Disney says, hopeful. "But... this..." Prima kisses her again.
Werri and Peep are reunited in Rena's template, making amends in his kitchen. "I'm so sorry I snapped at you, sista," Peep says, "You know you mah nigga." "No, honey, you are my negro," Werri says, sweetly. They hug. "I just get jealous sometimes," Peep adds, "You are such a successful hookah and I always wanted to be a hookah and dey just say I'm too fat so I gots to do other thangs." Werri takes her hand and says, "Oh honey but that's what I admire so much about you. You never give up, when the going gets tough you always soldier on and find something better to do. I wish I was like that." "You mean it?" Peep asks. "And then some," her sister replies. "You know, I think momma would be proud of us if she could see us right now," Peep says, "Damn lupus." "I know," Werri replies, "Let's call her." Peep takes out her cell phone and speed-dials their mother. On the other side, Betty Applewhite answers: "Wha?" Werri and Peep say in unison, "We love you maaaaa!!!" Betty asks, "Who the fuck iz you be?" Peep hangs up and says, "Always fun talking to ma. Well, I better go home now, it's late and I gots to find me a new job come the mornin'." "Yes, I should go to sleep too. Good night, sis." "Night." They hug. Peep leaves Rena's template to go to her own, and Werri gets under the kitchen sink and closes the door.
The TV is on in the navbar, and Taylor Alison Swift, her arm bandaged up, gets up on stage to perform an acoustic version of the new song she wrote based on her recent experiences, for the first time, in front of her audience in this televised event. She starts to play the guitar and sing.
BelleLover and Villain fan cuddle up on the bed, in the former's navbar, having just made love. Belle comments that it was wonderful, and Villain smiles at her and they kiss. She puts her glasses back on and says they need to talk about Disney. Villain asks why, and Belle tells him she just remembered Villain is her father. "Oh..." Villain says; "I know I'd told you I had lied about Disney's father, and you decided it was best to keep your distance for a while, but... I think it's important now that she knows that you two spend time together." "Well, where is he... she... now?" "At her girlfriend's template," Belle answers. Villain looks confused. "Yes, I know, it's mind-boggling, but what are you gonna do?" Belle exclaims, "I know this might be a bit too much to put on your plate right now. I mean one of your daughters just moved back in after suffering a miscarriage and a break-up. You're trying to spend quality time with her. You have another daughter in a mental institution, and you just lost a little girl. We're rekindling our relationship and now you have another child to tend to." "I guess it's just all my one big responsibility," Villain says, "Caring for my family." Belle smiles, and kisses him sweetly on the cheek. "What about your former stepson, Lynette?" Belle asks. Villain asks her what she means. "Well, you were his father for many years. The kid is obviously screwed up. I spoke to Rena and he thinks Lynette is behind the explosions and what-not. And he killed your daughter. Don't you think you owe it to him to make amends, and to try and fix him?" "That can't ever happen, Belle," Villain tells her, "We have caused far too much damage to one another." "What happened?" she asks, "I mean, after I left..." Villain sighs. "Please..." she begs him, "Tell me. Tell me everything." He does.
The night is dark and misty. The perfect follow-up to the dreary day, full of grey skies and drizzle. The beast roams through the woods nearing Wiksteria Lane. Near the place where Jdg's father was once executed in cold blood. It can smell death. It likes the smell. Rockaboss keeps walking on its four mighty paws. And he feels their presence. They don't know it, but the beast does. Renaboss and Jdg98 each hide behind a tree, hoping to corner the dog, but the beast is smarter than it lets on. However, the fight shan't last for too long. Rena gives Jdg a look. The young man seems to be rather intimidated, but he tries to get the idea to sink in that this is good training. And if he gets scared now, when all he has to come up against is a large dog, what will war be like? He has to grow up. Man up. The dog scratches the floor with one of its left paws. Rena has his handgun in tow. All that Jdg has is a stick. Rena nods at Jdg, who nods back. Then the Chat Mod whistles. And the dog comes charging forward, provoked. It passes between the two trees and quickly turns around, leaving marks on the ground. It roars loudly at them, and Rena shoots it in the left front paw. The dog groans in pain and dashes off. Rena goes chasing after it, firing shots at random. Jdg throws the stick and it falls two meters in front of him, on the ground. Rena keeps charging forward and shooting, until he runs out of bullets. "Crap..." he says, as he stops. The dog turns around, as though it realizes what just happened. "Crap!!" Rena repeats, and starts heading back, with the beast chasing after him. Jdg quickly remembers the scythe and moves to open the trunk to get it. He positions himself after the same tree as before and waits for Rena to run by. He does, with the dog hot on his trail and almost about to get him. As soon as Jdg feels the dog is near he swings the heavy titanium scythe with as much strength as he can and slices the dog's head right off as it jumps to attack Rena. The dog's decapitated body falls on the young Chat Mod, causing him to land face-first on the ground. And its head is sent flying even further off. It rolls on the ground until it is stopped, standing. Neck ending on the ground. Eyes open. Tongue sticking out. And facing the horrified Rena. Jdg pants at the gruesome sight. The dog's blood covers Rena's hair and neck, and soaks up his shirt, and the mud takes care of making the rest gross as well. Jdg looks up at the bloody red scythe. And smiles, victoriously. Letting the sense of power take over.
Lady Junky sits in her PM room, wearing her nightgown. The fireplace is keeping her warm. She flips through the channels, bored with everything that's on, and her mind is on the one that got away. She misses him far too much. There is a knock on her door, so she gets up to answer it. She is surprised to see Rena standing before her. "You said you wanted to talk," he tells her, "So let's talk." Lady looks at him silently for two seconds before saying, "Okay," and letting him in. She closes the door behind him, and asks if he'd like to have a drink, in her customary accent. He turns it down. She prepares herself, to say what she wants to say. "Rena, I... I have problems knowing where to begin, I... I guess the first thing I want to tell is that I never meant to hurt you in no way, I... I was so worried. I was so scared when I knew Lynette was the baby father. I wanted to tell you, but... Things kept happening and I never found the right time and I was so scared of how you would be. About it. I am so sorry. I know you feel I am betrayer. But I didn't want to." Rena doesn't say anything. "Please," she begs of him, almost tearing up, "Please say something." "You're a bitch," he finally tells her. Her eyes widen. "What?..." "You have the nerve... the nerve... to stand there and give me a flimsy, shallow apology for keeping this huge secret from me? For even considering ever allowing me to play the father to someone else's kid? You can make excuses for yourself all you want, Lady, if you need help sleeping at night, but never kid yourself, you're a lying, conniving, worthless little bitch." Lady brings her hands to her mouth, completely horrified, as the tears come streaming down her face. She can't believe the cruel words coming out of the man she loves.
Lynette puts one nub over the microphone he's speaking into and admiring his work. At the monitoring station, he watches the story unfolding before his eyes in the screen that shows Lady Junky's PM room. Sadball controls RenaBOT with his remote. Lynette continues speaking into the mic, his voice coming out as Rena's as the android repeats the words spoken into his system.
"Why are you being mean?" Lady cries. "Yeah, yeah, look at you... I point out one little harsh reality and you start bawling like the little bitch you are. God, you're worse than Jdg..." "Rena, please..." She gets down on her knees, hands on her face, crying. "Hey, since you're down there..." the android says, as he grabs Lady's head suddenly and shoves it against his crotch. She screams and breaks free from him, asking him what he's doing. "I thought you could make it up to me by sucking my dick," Rena tells her, "But apparently you're not only a bitch, you're a cocktease too." Lady is completely appalled. "Get out! Leave!" she blurts out, almost shaking. "I'm sorry, since when do you tell me what to do?" He moves in closer. "Huh?!" He shouts to her face. She turns her face away from his, eyes closed, quivering. Rena grins. He grabs her chin and tells her, "Let's have some fun." He throws her onto the floor. She screams.
Rena throws himself on top of her. The horrified blonde screams and tries to break free. He punches her in the face.
Rena holds her down by her wrists and smiles wickedly at her. Then he starts to rip off her nightgown. Lady yelps in horror and he keeps punching her to get her to shut up.
Lynette gets excited as he watches the show. Sadball is creeped out, but continues to do what his master instructs him to.
RenaBOT unzips his pants. And starts to rape her.
Lady shrieks with agony as the robot continually thrusts into her. Her world completely shattered as she is once again violated. This time by the love of her life. She keeps screaming, and screaming, and screaming. "Shut up!!! You filthy whore!!! I am making love to you and this is how you react?!! Shut your goddamn mouth!!!" He keeps hitting her, and she gets a horrible sense of déjà vu.
Lynette is marvelled. "This is truly impressive," he tells his scientist, microphone covered by his stump yet again. Sadball takes the odd opportunity to laud his own accomplishment. "I made it possible for the robot to have erections, per your request." Lynette's eyes gleam as he watches the show. "Does it ejaculate?..." he asks, hopeful. "Um, uh, yes," Sadball says, "I figured... I just created a sort of liquid that resembles sperm. I made it so that the robot could create tears, spit, all sorts of body fluids to make him as real as possible." "Good..." Lynette says, "Make it cum. And make it clean up on her hair." Sadball makes an odd face at this request. But does as instructed.
Lady curls up after the violation has ended. She cries to herself, as the creature wipes itself on her hair. In that moment, she loses herself. Lady doesn't live there anymore.
"I am so... done with you," Lynette says to the mic. The robot utters these words. "Now make it leave," Lynette tells the scientist. "You don't want to kill her?" Sadball asks, surprised. "Of course not!!" Lynette lashes out at him. He turns back to the screen, to the sight of her curled up, and finishes his line: "I love her..."
The robot is made to leave the template. Lady just lies there on the floor, partially naked, and completely damaged.
Category:Season 4 Category:Episodes