nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
At A Movie Theater Which Arm Rest Is Yours?

At A Movie Theater Which Arm Rest Is Yours? The selection of an arm rest at a movie theater is always a hard challenge; choosing a particular side may upset or hassle the person next to you. 
If it's like kissing, 80% of people should statistically do it wrong anyway.
==The Answer To End All Answers==
Well, I'm sorry, but are there no correct answers to this question or we could pretend this is The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? 42?
==Ways To Successfully Acquire Both==
The most popular and lucrative way to have control over both armrests is to put on a fake identity. This is not like a costume or something outrageous, but to act brainlessly, you can drool and mumble about time and other stupid philosophical things. In no time you will have the whole row to yourself.Sweet. Or if acting stupid doesn't work you can arm wrestle for control.
OR
Go with your mates. Rather than sitting next to each other, you must piss everyone off by leaving a seat between you. This also ensures that your cheap buddies won't drink your Irn Bru (buy one get one free).
OR
Sit on the floor at the front. No need for armrests then.
OR
Only see really crappy movies where it's guaranteed that no one will be sitting next to you (i.e. Titanic, anything with Hugh Grant in it, and that one with the Hobbits).
OR
On the rare occasion where you may wish to see an actual good film (i.e. Pokemon: Ash Dies At Last or the one with the hairdresser that was Borat in another film), you can wear a t-shirt saying something dodgy, like "Bollocks on Toast" or "You're staring at my nipples". Or one with a picture of Hugh Grant on.
OR
Cut off your arms.
OR
Cut off their arms.
OR
Break wind regularly.
== What One Must Bear in Mind ==
You may think that this is a decision of where to rest your forelimbs, but there is as much gravity to the situation as there is coming out of Oscar Wilde's testicles. Quite a lot.
So it is essential to choose with care. It would be foolish to plonk your elbow into the groin of a serial-killer eyes-as-mad-as-dad-after-the-washing-up kinda butch lesbian. No? Do an image search for "butch lesbian kills little guy who elbowed her groin" if you don't believe me. The whole of Western civilisation depends on such etiquette as where one's elbow resides.
So there are certain rules to follow to aid you in this decision:
#Don't be a complete dick.
#If it's someone you could beat up sitting next to you, risk it.
#If you find them mildly attractive (albeit in the dark) risk it and you might get lucky, if you don't you might be able to steal their M&Ms.
#NEVER steal an armrest from an old lady with a walking stick. She is probably really strong. (Unless step three applies)
#If you sit next to someone with a snack, put your arm on their side to piss them off.
#Remember the butch lesbian.
#Try your hardest to look like you're enjoying the movie and then wildly "SSSSSSHHHHHHH!" people if they complain about where your hand is.
Oh yeah, and if you ignored rule 1, run like hell when the movie's finished.
Category:Film theory
Category:Rules
Category:Vexing Scientific Conundrums
Category:Things controlled by Jews
Athsma

Asthma is when you can't breathe sometimes. That's it. There's nothing else you need to know. Good day!
== Etymology and History ==
Asthma was invented in 1869 by Sir Thomas Asthma, who wanted to find an alternative to breathing. Don't ask me why, it's not important. Anyway, he did, and it became the medical condition we know today. 
A common misconception is that Asthma is named after Sir Thomas Asthma. It is not. The real origin of the name is a combination of Athens (you know, that one city in Greece), Orgasm (Sir Thomas Asthma's favorite pastime), and AAAAA! This sounds similar to the guy's last name, but I'm sure that it's a coincidence. 
Now, etymology. Is that the study of words or the study of insects? I'm thinking words, but that sounds too predictable. So, how exactly do insects and asthma relate? Well you see, it all started back in the summer of 1984... My mom and I were having a fun day at the pool. She was feeling too horny to swim, so I decided to help her by [REDACTED] and then I [CENSORED] so we [FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE JUST STOP READING]. Isn't that the most touching story you ever read?
== Notable People With Asthma ==
I have no idea who has asthma or who is notable or anything, so I will just write down my grocery list here so I don't forget it. 
* Milk
* Eggs
* Extra Small Cond- uh, I mean candy!
* Dr- uh, I mean candy!
* Childr- uh, I mean candy!
* A more original joke
* An entire bucket of Cheez-its. MUST be in a bucket, NOT a barrel! We wouldn't want to repeat... the Monkey Poop Incident.
* Perfectly normal camping supplies (handcuffs, boomerang, anime schoolgirl uniform, etc.)
* Bees
* Coffee creamer
* Toys
DAMN IT BILLY! I TOLD YOU NOT TO WRITE TOYS AT THE END OF DADDY'S GROCERY LISTS! I'M NOT GOING TO BUY YOU MORE TOYS TODAY! THIS IS WHY YOU'RE STILL A VIRGIN!
Anyways... asthma. 
== Awards and Nominations ==
Asthma was nominated for Medical Condition of the Year in 1719, 1870, 1924, 1966, 4 a.d. (despite not existing) and 2005. It wasn't nominated in 1989 but it still won somehow. That's about it. Not very many people have award ceremonies for medical conditions anymore. Not since... the Monkey Poop Incident. 
== Industrial Uses ==
There aren't any at this time. Maybe there would be if someone got off their butt and started using their asthma industrially instead of sitting on their butt reading stupid Uncyclopedia articles! Seriously dude, you're just as useless as my loser ex-wife!
==My Loser Ex-Wife ==
Main article: Satan
== Sequel ==
In 1338, one year after the medical condition was invented, Sir Thomas Asthma announced that a sequel was in progress. It's been almost 700 years and we're still waiting. Maybe it would come out faster if Sir Thomas Asthma didn't die in... the Monkey Poop Incident.
Category:Disorders
Atlantic Records

Please read the Beginner's Guide, and please be funny and not just stupid. You agree to license submissions under CC-BY-NC-SA 2.0.	Please read the Beginner's Guide, and please be funny and not just stupid. You agree to license submissions under CC-BY-NC-SA 2.0.
Please note that all contributions to Uncyclopedia are considered to be released under the Creative Commons SA License. If you don't want your writing to be edited mercilessly and redistributed at will, then don't submit it here.
You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource. DO NOT SUBMIT COPYRIGHTED WORK WITHOUT PERMISSION!
Category:Bastion of Corporate Evil
Category:"Weird Al" Yankovic
Atomic Interdimensional Death Spirits

Atomic Interdimensional Death Spirits are fiendish, malevolent, and thoroughly evil creatures that have managed to slip into this world from beyond under the command of Chuck Norris. When the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima (and Nagasaki, but nobody cares about that.) the massive energy surge atracted the attention of the first Atomic Interdimensional Death Spirits, who were then able to slip into our dimension. 
Since the first few Atomic Interdimensional Death Spirits, more have made the journey to this planet, and have slowly invaded our beloved dimension. These extra-dimensional villains have infiltrated everywhere in our dimension, our planet, our cats, and our societies. Initially they congregated in Africa, and near apes, but have since broadened there interests. The fact is, Atomic Interdimensional Death Spirits could be anywhere, just waiting to attack you!
If you feel the need to protect your self from Atomic Interdimensional Death Spirits, then remember to carry a condom. Atomic Interdimensional Death Spirits hate condoms with a passion, this is largely because the latex contraceptives have the power to ward off Atomic Interdimensional Death Spirits. Research is being conducted into the exact nature of this warding. To make sure you are protected from the attacks of Atomic Interdimensional Death Spirits, wear a condom at all times, the larger the better.
category:ghosts
Category:Powerful Supernatural Creatures
Category:Evil
Category:Minions of Chuck Norris
Attack

Attack can refer to: 
*Heart attack
*Massive Attack
*Nuclear Attack
*SQL Insertion Attack
==Film and television==
*Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes 
*Attack of the 50ft Hitler
*Attack of the 500 foot Jesus
*Attack of the Killer Boobs
*Attack of the 50-foot question mark 
*Attack of the Japanese Monsters 
*Shark Attack 3 
*Heart Attack In A Wrapper
Attack may also mean:
*HowTo:Survive a wiki vandal attack
*HowTo:Survive a ninja attack
*HowTo:Survive a Terrorist Attack
*International Velociraptor Attack Week
Attack of the 50ft Hitler

Attack of the 50ft Hitler is an obscure 50’s B-movie written by William Shakespeare. It is the sequel to the equally obscure Attack of the 50ft Stalin, a Cold War propaganda film financed by the "Burn the commie bastards" society and the KKK. The film is about "Those commie bastards building a 50ft high robot of Stalin, in order to kill people and stuff". The film was extremely inaccurate, as everyone knows the giant Stalin robot of Death was in fact 90 feet high, and had nuclear missiles instead of fingers. 
 
The plot of Attack of the 50ft Hitler is extremely similar to Invasion of the Mutant Zombie space Nazis.... From Hell The film begins in a forgotten Nazi moon base where an aged Nazi scientist has created a 50ft clone of Hitler using DNA from his famous severed testicle.
The cloned Hitler is initially benevolent but turns to evil after seeing an episode of Happy Larry’s SS Death Squad and the cult film El Bastard Comes to Town. The giant clone Hitler then murders the Nazi scientist to "prove how hard I am" and then flies to Earth on a V2 missile to "enslave humanity and turn every one into communists". This is possibly the film's most laughable mistake, as everyone knows Hitler was a fascist. The filmmakers tried to cover up this glaring error through a voice-over at the start of the film which announced, “anyone who thinks Hitler was a fascist is an ignorant commie bastard and a spy. Report them to the FBI immediately". Once the clone Hitler lands on earth he resurrects the ashes of and assembles an army of Nazi war criminals and joins forces with the Soviet Union to "destroy capitalism and shit" His army marches on Washington. Hitler uses his laser vision and "fiendish moustache of communism and death" to destroy all opposition. He also uses his "evil fascist mind powers" to turn people against the "beloved" KKK. Meanwhile, the KKK builds a gigantic robot Klansman with nuclear missiles for fingers, which destroys the 50ft Hitler. His entire army is executed in the electric chair, and everyone gets free doughnuts.
The film was panned by critics at the time for being "too long and wordy". Many critics thought the film needed "more tits and violence" and "a hell of a lot more zombies". The film's director Henry “that’s a big one” Burk Dale never worked again, largely because he gassed himself in an oven after realizing that he would never fulfill his ambition of becoming Queen of England. The film's star Martin Bormann later went on to develop “a type of nerve gas that gives communists the shits.” He sold it to the US military but was later imprisoned after the “nerve gas” was found to be vaporized cat piss and turpentine. All copies of the film were burnt because of copyright issues. The main issue being the entire plot had been stolen from “Attack of the Really Big Communist Guy”.
Category:British films
Category:Shakespearean Works
Hitler
Category:World War II
== See Also ==
* 9/11: The Movie
* Attack of the 50-foot question mark
* Attack of the 500 foot Jesus
Attack of the Killer Boobs

thumb|200px|Homicidal hooters's fatal lactation
''Attack of the Killer Boobs'' was a 1959 B-movie starring Ann-Margaret’s boobs as a pair of extraterrestrial killers that had attached themselves to a young woman’s chest at the onset of her puberty.
==Triple feature feature==
The movie, which was shot on black-and-white film, was offered at drive-in theaters across the country as the third feature in triple-feature packages, but it was soon withdrawn when moviegoers complained that the film was “pornographic.” The movie was replaced by Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, with tomatoes appearing in place of Ann-Margaret’s boobs. Ever since then, "tomatoes" have been another of the many, ever-increasing number of euphemisms for mammary glands.
==Replacement==
The vegetables (some contend that they are fruits) were not nearly as effective as sexual attractants, however, and the extraterrestrial killers succeeded in killing only one male, homosexual film star Rock Hudson.
==Release on DVD==
Attack of the Killer Boobs was re-released on DVD in 2005 and, according to The Hollywood Reporter, has become a “minor cult classic” among teenage boys. There has been some talk in Hollywood of reviving the movie and filming it as it had originally been intended to be seen. In place of Ann-Margaret, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ashley Judd, and Reese Witherspoon have appeared on casting directors’ short lists, according to The Reporter.
==Remake==
A remake of the cult classic, tentatively called Revenge of Homicidal Hooters, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt and Pamela Anderson, is in the works. In this version of the original film, Hewitt's and Anderson's hooters detach themselves from their characters' chests at night, join thousands of other boobs, and, in a massive stampede, roll through the countryside, attacking flat-chested females, women who have had breast implants, and actresses who have no-nudity clauses in their contracts.
An attempt to corral the killer boobs, so to speak, is made by Freddie Prinze, Jr., in the role of Sheriff Boo Zumm, by setting up a barricade consisting of a giant brassiere across the interstate highway down which the boobs have seen traveling. He wants to save the nation, he says, from "bosom overexposure" and, the actor admitted in an aside, he'd like to present the boobs to his wife, actress Sarah Michelle Gellar, who is "a little on the flat side." The barricade idea doesn't work, however, and Zimm must think of another way to stop the homicidal hooters, whose milk melts through whatever it touches as though the fluid were an acid.
The remake's producer, Steven Spielberg, was tempted to call the film "Lethal Lactation," but he decided he'd save this title for the third installment in his trilogy. The second episode, he says, will star an actress, Big Tits Louise, who is unknown except to X-rated video fans and will be called Bra Busters.
Pee Wee Herman has agreed to direct the remake.
Category:American films
Category:1950s films
Category:Boobage
Atticus Finch

Atticus Finch was an assassin, bird hunter and sometimes civil rights lawyer, best known for having defended the Kool-Aid Man on charges of "disorderly conduct unbecoming of a liquid receptacle". He was later elected Grand Lawgiver of Alabama, using his own version of How to Win Friends and Influence People, which would later be stolen by Dale Carnegie (able to because he'd mastered the technique of winning friends and influencing people). Near the end of his life, he turned to politics, helping Saddam Hussein rise to power as the 44th President of the United States, the first Kurd to hold the esteemed position.
As an assassin, he was well known for his marksmanship, and was the suspected twelfth gunman in the murder of JFK (see below).
== How to Kill a Mockingbird ==
Finch is best remembered as the protagonist of the semi-biographical novel, How to Kill a Mocking Bird, by Stephen Harper. The plot concerns Finch's efforts to eradicate the family of mockingbirds living in his backyard, as well as defending himself at the subsequent trial. The book did poorly with its target audience (bird lovers, oddly enough), but later developed a cult following of small game hunters. It is now considered, by some, to be a classic on the diverse and robust subject of blowing the hell out of mockingbirds.
== Victims ==
While Finch's career as an assassin is mostly associated with being the twelfth gunman at the John F. Kennedy assassination (see above), the fact that he enjoyed a rather prolific career as such is often overlooked. Beginning with a neighborhood dog that had contracted rabies (though some have claimed it simply "looked at him the wrong way"), Finch found his lust for taking lives to be unquenchable. In 1940, this new blood lust in tow, he took a sabbatical from the world of civil rights (a concept, unbeknownst to Finch, which would not actually exist until Rosa Parks gave birth to her son, Martin Luther King, on the front seat of a bus in 1955) to seek employment as a government contract killer. Failing that, he contacted his old friend Al Capone and began his career as a plain ole mob hit man. Some of his most famous victims include:
* Harper Lee
* Gregory Peck
* Tom Robinson
* Charles Baker Harris
* Robert E. Lee
* Some scouts
* Mrs. Julius Caesar
During his tenure as a gun for hire, Finch developed a catchphrase, which he would repeat at each kill: "It's time to get Boo Radley on your ass!" No one seems to definitively know quite what this means, though some have speculated that "Boo Radley" was some kind of liquor Finch was fond of.
== Trivia ==
*How to Kill a Mockingbird served as the impetus for the much less interesting graphic pamphlet, How to Kill a Hunting Partner a Quayle a Quail America by United States Vice President Dick Cheney.
Category:Film characters
Category:Literary characters
Category:People with a silly name
Audh Soar Singh

Audh Soar Singh also known as Outsour Singh (often misspelled as Outsourcing) (born February 1, 1990 in Bombay and simultaneously in Bangalore) is a prodigious Indian who has captivated the minds of Indians all around the world. Audh Soar Singh is the brother of China-born Ou Suo Xing (pinyin: Ow Xuo Xing), a similarly like-minded individual from China. They are hailed in their home country as the Robinson Crusoe or Bilbo Baggins of our times. Of course, most people in India and China have not heard of either Robinson Crusoe or Bilbo Baggins, and therefore cannot seriously be expected to know what the fuck they are talking about.
Both Mr. Singh and Mr Ou are widely travelled individuals and often carry the name of India and China proudly whereever they go. Their reputation precedes them and the leaders of the free world are more than happy to have them both in their countries. The ignorant, myopic peoples of these countries, however, are not thrilled at the prospect that they might be taking their jobs. These people have put together an all-star cast to oppose Singh and Ou, including Lou Dobbs, Tonya Harding and Krusty the Clown. 
Research that shows an increasing trend of skyrocketing gas prices, dwindling tax breaks, soaring unemployment rates, soap suds and mayonnaise to oppose Mr. Singh and Mr Ou, when everyone knows that these people are just fat and lazy and haven't done an honest day's work in their lifetime.
Mr. Singh is a Information technology specialist, but has had experience in, and can double up as an after-sales support rep. He speaks Punjabi and is fluent in English, and can speak it with a British or American accent on demand. His fellow brother Mr Ou is a lowly skilled blue-collar factory worker, who is also able to double up on English albeit with an Oriental accent.
The Milken Institute Review, which reviews milk and the art of milking annually, studied the impact of Audh Soar Singh on the economies of India and the United States. The institute found that for every dollar spent, American companies create a net value of $1.12, whereas Mr. Singh and Mr Ou gets 33 cents to the dollar, which is not enough to buy a stick of Slim Jim.
Category: BusinessCategory: Economics
Category: Things that may be out to get youCategory:Hybrid subjects
Auschwitz Theme Park

Auschwitz Theme Park is a successful Nazi theme park attraction created to commemorate the brilliant Auschwitz concentration camp. The Park is situated in southern Poland close to the original concentration camp.
The Park itsself was created by the genius Adolf Hitler and is still a main resort for mass Jew killings. 
== Park levels == 
=== Auschwitz I === 
This is the entrance to the main park and is used as a giant restroom and food court area. The complex it's self is created to honor the original administration center and has hourly Jew maimings similar to the routine eruptions of the Old Faithful Geyser.
=== Auschwitz II Extermination Water park ===
This is by far the most popular attraction and full fledged water park created to honor the original extermination camps. The Water Park actually uses the old Jewish blood of the millions who died in the said area.
Overtime; the Jewish Blood became deadly to Germans since they got poisoned by someone unknown on July 7th, 2012. As of July 6th, 2018; The Jewish blood has been altered so that it can be a safe environment for Germans and Polish People near the area.
=== Auschwitz III Fun Labor Studios === 
Auschwitz III Fun Labor Camp imitates the original camp with many labor themed activities. This park acts for all the indoor 3D rides and other various simulators. Popular rides include Through The Eyes of The Lesser Scum and The History Of the Filthy Jews
==Popular attractions==
===Aushwitz I===
*The Haunted Administration Office
*Pirates of the Punishment
*"it's a Jew free world"
*Murder Mountain
*Jew maiming festival
===Aushwitz II===
*Scum Blood Waters Water Park
*Jew Inferno
*Test Gas
*Mission: DISCRACE
*A Führer's Dream
*IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth
*Honey, I Killed The Jews
*Prisoner Wars
===Auschwitz III Fun Labor Studios===
*The Jew Zone Bank of Terror
*The History Of The Filthy Jews
*Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show
*Fantasmic!
*Star Tours
*Adolf Hitler Stunt Spectacular!
*Through The Eyes of The Lesser Scum
*Adolf Hitler: One Man's Dream
*Final Solution (Exit and Gift Shop)
*Mein Kampf: The Interactive Adventure
== See also ==
* pornhub.com
* Adolf Hitler
* Nazi Burger
* Nazi turtle @ the petting zoo.
* Mutter - mein Endlosung!
Alamama
Category:Entertainment
Category:Nazis
Category:Theme parks