nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Hamtaro

Hamtaro is a Belgian/Italian/Nazi/terrorist dish best served deep-fried with yogurt, pineapple, butter and hamster, though mad-cow infected pork is often used in vegetarian variants. It is widely accepted to be the healthiest food ever invented, save for the North American delicacy known as lard. The first man to cook Hamtaro was a psychopathic artist from Greenland; his mental instability likely stemming from the lead paints he often handled with his tongue.
==History of Hamtaro==
Hamtaro was a hamster who liked to sneeze on people. He spread SARS and Ebola by urinating on his best friend, Osama Bin Laden, who also peed on more an more people until Ebola was synonymous with Hamtaro. Also Hamtaro likes to rape innocent victims, most notably artists from Greenland.
== Ingredients ==
Hamtaro is made with various ingredients, most of which can be found in dog feces and/or Wal-Mart. After finding all the ingredients, you should have:
* 1 Hamster
* 9 cups of Heinz ketchup flavored yogurt
* 2 cups of pineapple
* 200 pounds of solid butter
* 1 cow, preferably happy
* 17.55 liters of fermented goat milk
** Note: for optimal results, the milk should be over five years past its expiration date. You can test for this by checking if the milk is no longer recognizable as a dairy product. This indicates a well-aged milk and should be used immediately.
* Zit zapper
* Shredded government tax forms/expired prescription drugs
* 12 ounces of salt and/or cocaine
* 1 piece of hair off of David Lee Roth
* 2 L of LSD
== Recipe ==
#Find one Hamster. You should be able to get one for roughly 2 dollars to 9200 dollars from that guy who smells like pee that also deals cocaine next door. You can buy canned hamsters in any Costcoor Coffs Harbour.
#Deep fry the Hamster for 3 hours. Marinate it with fermented goat milk and use the zit zapper to crust the outside coating.#Encase in 200 pound block of butter by any means necessary. Serve to one person. WATCH THE POUNDS DISAPPEAR!
== Where to Find Hamtaro ==
Any Italian or Arab restaurant will happily serve you Hamtaro. Watch out for Iceland Hamtaro. There they will serve you Hamtaro testicles, which have been known to cause weight gain and mad Hamster disease, amongst other gastrointestinal "nuisances."
== Show Cancellation ==
You might think his show might have been cancelled because nobody liked it. On the contrary. Recent research on Uncyclopedia has revealed a mysterious door that upon entering turns hamsters into cats and vice versa.
es:Hamtaro
it:Hamtaro
ja:とっとこハム太郎
pt:Hamtaro
Handicapped/Lite/Lite

The handicapped are special people who have been cursed with irresistible sexual magnetism.
==The Ugly Truth About Beauty==
It's a fact; some people are born different. Through no fault of their own, they are expelled from the womb with perfect cheekbones and eyes you could paddle a small rowboat into. In no time, their enterprising parents have sold them into virtual slavery as child models, peddling SpongeBob SquarePants pyjamas in the Sears catalogue, and finishing first place in the "Most Beautiful Child in the Affluent Suburbs Competition, 11 and Under category". 
But do people understand the horrific torture that is, to them, a daily routine? No, for they are blinded by the glare of pearly white teeth, framed by a bouquet of cornsilk hair. For shame.
==Up By Four==
While you are content rising at the crack of seven, to enjoy a hot shower and savour a leisurely breakfast, the handicapped have already left the makeup chair on set for a morning cameo on "Rise 'n' Shine Zimbabwe" after an early morning flight halfway around the world. Then, it's a pushing and shoving extravaganza as cabbies beat each other nearly to death with their autograph books, all striving to be first in line to have theirs be the first graced with the pen, and perhaps even be given the privilege of returning the handicapped person to the airport. 
Finally, it's a mad dash to airport security, deftly avoiding the unending flurry of marriage proposals and the eerie glances of men old enough to be their older brother, before finally sinking into the plush Italian leather executive chair on the private jet to suffer the delivery of horrible news—the Cotechino con Lenticchie has been substituted for an infinitely inferior Roasted Chicken with Risotto and Caramelized Onions. How gauche.
==Weight of the World==
Can "regular" people every truly appreciate the crushing responsibility that befalls those who are handicapped? The expense of having a team of hairdressers on call 24 hours a day by emergency pager, in order to maintain the perfect coiffure? The daily responsibility of choosing whether to wear Vera Wang, Manish Malhotra, or Donatella Versace, while trying to avoid the tiresome phone calls from Stella McCartney? The knowledge that other people's ability to keep that gun nestled safely out of reach high in the bedroom closet and persist in their drab and awful lives, depends solely upon the so-called "beautiful people" ensuring that their shoes never clash with their handbag in the photos that will inevitably end up in People Magazine?
Unlikely.
But there is always the hope that through educational materials such as this, that the collective human conscious can be made to accept the fact that everyday, everywhere, there are people infinitely better than you, suffering for it.
==See also==
* Handicapped
* Handicapped/Lite
Category:Article subpages
Hangman

__NOTOC__
 |-------|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 ___|___
 
 __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
Alright, what's your first guess?
I'm gonna say E
 |-------| E
 0 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 ___|___
 
 __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
Try again.
Okay, I?
 |-------| E
 0 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 ___|___
 
 __ __ __ __ __ __ I __
A?
 |-------| E A
 0 |
 | |
 | |
 |
 |
 ___|___
 
 __ __ __ __ __ __ I __
U?
 |-------| E A
 0 |
 | |
 | |
 |
 |
 ___|___
 
 U __ __ __ U __ I __
That's all the vowels.
Okay, um, what should I pick?
I'm not telling you.
Worth a shot. Um, S maybe?
 |-------| E A
 0 |
 | |
 | |
 |
 |
 ___|___
 
 U __ S __ U __ I __
Okay, it's not "us". P?
Is that your letter?
Yes. Why else would I say P?
You do have a track record.
Shut up.
 |-------| E A
 0 |
 | |
 | |
 |
 |
 ___|___
 
 U __ S __ U P I __
Okay, what now?
What other words start with U?
Umbrella.
You know what I mean
No, I don't. Please, enlighten me.
Stop being stupid.
Only after you stop being stupid.
I'm not stupid.
I beg to differ.
Whatever. H I guess."
 |-------| E A
 0 | H
 |/ |
 | |
 |
 |
 ___|___
 
 U __ S __ U P I __
Okay
Still nothing?
No. M maybe?"
 |-------| E A
 0 | H M
 \|/ |
 | |
 |
 |
 ___|___
 
 U __ S __ U P I __
Dude! Nothing else starts with U
I think ur wrong about that.
Whatever. Is there a G
 |-------| E A
 0 | H M
 \|/ | G
 | |
 / |
 |
 ___|___
 
 U __ S __ U P I __
It's your last guess.
Is it some stupid letter like Z or something?
Maybe.
You dummy! You just told me one of the letters was Z!
Is that your next guess?
Yes!
Okay...
 |-------| E A
 0 | H M
 \|/ | G Z
 | |
 / \ |
 |
 ___|___
 
 U __ S __ U P I __
Sorry, you lose.
What! But you just said...
Maybe does not mean yes. I thought you knew that.
Can, you, like, draw a face or something?
I suppose, but I spent half an hour making the hangman guy in ASCII and that was
the best I could come up with, and I don't want to spend another hour and a half re-arrageing 
everything to fit a face in.
Okay. What was the answer?
 |-------| E A
 0 | H M
 \|/ | G Z
 | |
 / \ |
 |
 ___|___
 
 U R S T U P I D
SERIOUSLY DUDE! FOR THE LAST TIME! I'M NOT STUPID! YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK THAT
YOU'RE THE STUPID ONE! THAT'S RIGHT! I'M JUST FED UP WITH ALL YOUR BULLCRAP
AND I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN TAKE IT ANYMORE
Wanna play again?
Sure
Category:Games
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Hans Brinker

Hans Brinker is the most famous Dutchman who has ever existed. He is regarded in the Netherlands as the main national hero, by far surpassing the fame of other heroes like Piet Hein and Jan Peter Balkenende. 
==Heroic Deeds==
The greatest heroic deed of Hans Brinker was when he stuck his finger in the dyke near Maastricht, thus preventing the water of the sea to flood the whole country and rescuing millions of Dutchmen. While doing this, he had to resist angry American tourists who accused him of making obscene gestures in their presence. For his political ambitions, Hans Brinker decided to use the pseudonym Elco Brinkman. Being a national hero, it was easy to get ministerial positions in Dutch cabinets. In his role as Elco Brinkman, he was well known for his hypnotizing way of looking, which is one of the typical characteristics of dutch heroes.
==Place of Birth==
People who visit the Netherlands often look for the place where Hansje Brinker was born. However, this is one of the best kept secrets of the Dutch society. Typically, when an American tourist asks for the place of birth of the national hero, the Dutch start to laugh as if the question is very silly. If someone hates tourists, they may even try to make believe that Hansje Brinker has never existed, and belongs to the realm of fiction. Such denial is a proven tactic in the War on Tourism. It arouses the tourist's curiosity, more tourists start looking for the secret place, and are laughed at.
==Statue==
Because of Hans' important role in Dutch history, a statue was erected in his honour in the city of Spaarndam. Every single dutchman visits this statue at least once a year, bringing flowers and a bottle of water. The flowers and bottles of water are piled up near the statue, the water symbolizing the threat of the water that Hans valiantly countered.
==Political career==
Brinker was elected pensions minister in Bhutan in April 1997, in a surprising write-in ballot on an unannounced election day, while the Bhutanese were visiting their mother. This made him only the third fictional Dutchman to serve in the Bhutanese cabinet, and the first not to be anointed with the fatal juice of the Red Yeti Bush. As a result of this oversight he retained his position until an eclipse of the stars necessitated a cabinet reshuufffle.
blah blah blah blah
==Death==
Hans Brinker tried to repeat his finger in the dyke deed in New Orleans on August 29, 2005 and drowned.
Category:Books
Category:Literary characters
Category:Denmark
Hans Langsdorff

Hans Langsdorff (1894 or something like that – December 19, 1939) was notable in that he lost the Battle of the River Plate, failed to go down with the Panzerschiff (German for "piece of shiff") Admiral Graf Spee, then shot himself. In fact, that's about all he did.
== Life ==
Langsdorff was born in some remote, insignificant location in 1894, the eldest son of a family with little historical impact whatsoever. From there, they moved to Düsseldorf for a reason that doesn't matter into a house neighboring that of someone who made a slightly greater mark on history, Graf (Count) Maximilian von Spee, who made his name by getting his entire command killed in the Battle of the Falkland Islands in 1914. Thus, following an obsession with this slightly less obscure neighbor, Langsdorff decided to join the German Navy, hoping that he might somehow do something worthwhile to earn himself at least a footnote in future German textbooks. Towards the end of World War I, he earned a medal or two, while the standard issue for German soldiers happened to be twelve, awarded in a year which no one bothered to record. For the next twenty years, nothing significant happened.
Finally, after doing nothing in particular, Langsdorff was given command of the ship Admiral Graf Spee and sent off to do whatever in 1939 (probably). Over the next ten weeks, Langsdorff and Admiral Graf Spee suffered extreme incompetence, sinking nine British merchant ships, totalling over 50,000 tons, while somehow failing to kill anyone.
=== Death ===
Soon, those suave, dashing types, the British Navy decided that Langsdorff was starting to get a tad annoying (what what) and deviously concocted a plan so cunning (i.e. more cunning than a fox that's made emeritus professor of cunning at Oxford University college of cunning) that it stupified the poor witless Kraut Langsdorff. At this point, the Admiral Graf Spee gave up, Langsdorff soiled himself, making the entire consignment of bratwurst it was carrying go, sort of, orrrf. When the witless sausage-munching, lederhosen sporting German chamberpot (Langsdorff again!) became aware of the magnitude of those dashing Britisher's hoodwinkery, he ordered the Spee to blow itself up. Langsdorff attempted to go down with the Spee, but unlike the numeous times he'd "gone down" on Richard Littlejohn, (i.e. to earn himself some sort of name), he failed. Thus, depressed and shamed by his total failure, Langsdorff, bereft of bratwurst, shot himself, dying in his still-soiled underwear. His suicide note, which has since been misplaced somewhere, was just a bunch of whining. Altogether, nobody cared.
When those splendid British types were quizzed on their jolly spiffing ruse, particularly in light of Langsdorff's trouser soiling and suicide, whether they would repeat such a whizzy-jolly jape, they simply replied "Yes".
== See Also ==
*Failure
*Nobody cares
Category:German people
Category:Dead people
Category:Failure
Category:Useless people
Category:People no one has heard of
Category:World War II
Hans Teeuwen

Hans Teeuwen (born 3 March 1967 in Budel (Helmond), the Netherlands) is a Swedish handmodel. His work has been published by numerous eZines using WordArt. This filled his vagina with rage as Teeuwen has a general disdain for cheap DTP. 
== His life, and then some ==
Hans Teeuwen was born as the son of a father. He started his political life at the age of 6 (six) when he staged his own death. Following outcry in the media for serious civil protection devices he started the political party Gas from my Ass, not from my Terrorists. In the nation elections he won 0,3% of the seats in parlement. After being tormented by local peer pressure he caved in and never spoke in public again.
His next project was Dive into Cockblocking, a self-help book for animal rights activists who want to shield hens from horny chicklets. This book rocketed him into super stardom. Generally accepted as "the best arinkol [sic] rights anchorman book" (PETA Live!, 1983).
Currently living in Amsterdam, Hans Teeuwen has a boutique where he auctions hand-made sculptures of hardened semen.
He is known to carry a gun at all times, even while shooting a gun. 
Dutch broadcasting company VPRO financed his directorial debut Masterclass, a cockumentary about an alleged theatre guru.
== His death ==
Hansel Telson died during the Grand Prix of 1981. Dazed by gasoline and love he wandered the Silverstone circuit barenaked, resulting in his body being run over by various Formula 1 cars. Rumours have it Damon Hill made sweet sweet love to his mangled cadaver. Sportsweek called it 'an outrage'. George W. Bush didn't. But he thought it. And it's the thought that counts.
== Achievements ==
* Gas from my Ass, not from my Terrorists
* x = 1/n
* Dive into Cockblocking -- 1982
* Masterclass -- a cockumentary
== See also ==
* Slavery
* Semen
* Amsterdam
Category:Dutch people
Category:Actors
Category:Comedians
Category:Singers
nl:Hans Teeuwen
Harambe

Harambe was an American western lowland gorilla who was innocently slaughtered by the Cincinnati zoo, or at least that's what the government wants you to think. Harambe was actually confused for an Islamic terrorist that needed to be eradicated rather than a hero. So President Barack Osama ordered the Cincinnati zoo to exterminate the terrorist at all costs, and they hired a sniper to assassinate the alleged terrorist. He was known for throwing poop at George w. Berrybush's face in 2011.
==The Murder==
The Cincinnati Zoo was home to Harambe, a seventeen-year-old male western lowland gorilla in the prime of his life. Harambe was the leader of a large global underground anarchist association and often spoke out against tyrannical governments through various chat rooms via the deep web. Harambe had gained notable support in the United States, Russia, England, Atlantis, and Tatooine. American president Barrack Obama, English Queen Queen Elizabeth II, and Russia's almighty supreme lord comrade in chief Vladimir Putin all felt very threatened by Harambe's message. The world leaders decided to temporarily pretend they were all friends and held a top secret meeting in a Mi Ranchito Texan-Mexican food restaurant that was located on 69 Franklin St. Westfield, Massachusetts at 9:45 am on Thursday March 10. During the meeting the world leaders decided the best option was to have Harambe assassinated, so Obama reluctantly called his old arch-nemesis George Bush who was a seasoned expert on inside jobs. A few months later George Bush entered the Cincinnati Zoo wearing a disguise that made him flawlessly look like an incompetent mom. With him Bush had a child he had purchased through Amazon. Bush used project MK Ultra to brainwash the child into climbing the fence and leaping into the gorilla pit where Harambe was living peacefully. Harambe did absolutely nothing threatening, but the Park officials saw the child in Harambe's pit and they hadn't had a chance to shoot anything in a really long time, so they became excited at the opportunity to shoot Harambe. Thus Harambe was assassinated. Ironically the child died 3 days later of progeria, so even if Harambe intended to hurt the child it would not have been worth it to try to save him.
==After The Murder==
Harambe was made into many dank memes after his death. The hashtag #dicksoutforharambe became very popular.
#Dicksout4harambe
This is also due to the fact that everyone at Harambe's funeral saluted him by taking out their dicks. (the women took out their breasts but no one cared about that part). The funeral ended with everyone saying "Hiel Harambe"
To remember Harambe, scattered anarchists across America polled in their vote for their almighty saint of the oppressed peoples across Earth. However, he couldn't win against the unfazed Trump Train.
==See also==
*UnNews:Zoo official:I was aiming for the black kid
*UnNews:Everyone suddenly a fucking gorilla expert
*UnNews:Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs"
Category:Revolutionaries
Category:Apes
Harassment

Harassment covers a wide range of behaviors of an "offensive nature". It is commonly understood as behavior intended to disturb or upset, and it is characteristically repetitive. In the legal sense, it is simply having fun until some little spoil-sport brat has to go tell the authorities.
==How do I harass?==
The first step to harassing someone is to find out everything about them. This first step is known by a number of good and bad names. for example we call it creative investigation, on the other hand the police call it stalking. However don't let the police get your spirits down, most of them are bribable. After you know every single thing there is to know about your victim you can begin to plan your harassment. It's not hard, just find something really annoying and then just do it over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over again until it becomes so annoying that even you become sick of it. Something as simple as calling your victim on the phone and hanging up can become really annoying if you do it 500 times at one o'clock in the morning. Or perhaps you will take the Internet approach and randomly place their name in website you know they go to, right, ?
==How does this benefit me?==
It doesn't, it's just incredibly fun. Well, fun for you, not for the victim...and possibly not even fun for you if the victim does something unexpected like shoot you seven times in the foot. Although I have to admit, it made a great story to tell guests over the dinner table, plus the grandchildren loved to see ol' grandpa's shot foot while he tells them tales of mysterious stalkers stalking princesses and princes. 
==What other hobbies/careers can this lead onto?==
Once you have become a successful Harasser you might like to consider alternative, illegal hobbies. Consider the following:
*Bully
*Rapist
*therapist
*Swan (if you're a swan then no woman would resist you, one of Zeus' old tricks).
==Types of Harassment==
Those so-called intellectuals from Wikipedia list only 4 types of harassment, that being:
*Sexual Abuse - Often known as "the fun one".
*Psychological harassment
*Group psychological harassment
*Hate Speech
Yet I'm sure with a combined effort the good citizens of Uncyclopedia, we should be able to find hundreds of types of harassment:
*Anal Harassment
*Bible Study
*High Fives
*Selling Real Estate
*Kitten Huffing
*Telemarketing
Category:Abuse
Category:Society
Category:Life
Category:Illegal
Category:Bullying
Hardcore punk

Hardcore Punk (known to emo/straightedge kids as hxc) was invented in 1683 by angry parents that keep yelling at there kids and then they had an idea to make music of them yelling at there kids. It is a harder, faster version of punk rock, characterized by short, loud, and often passionate songs, created largely as an exercise in releasing pent-up sexual tension. Its name comes from its primogenitors' copious consumption of really rather nasty hardcore pornography. Hardcore is characterized by its heavy use of slow, low-end musical breaks, known as a breakdown, which allow the musicians to showcase their lack of any musical talent whatsoever by screaming and yelling into a microphone as load as they can, and allow the scenesters to come out of their hiding places and show off their "siqq xmoshingx skillz."
==Encyclopedia Definition==
Hardcore is a religious sect which seeks world domination. Hardcore kids distinguish themselves by a tendency to flout bourgeois convention and shock their parents by hardcore dancing, dressing in clothing purposefully evocative of S&M or the military, dyeing their hair unnatural colors, taking dangerous street drugs, and doing other, similar things from since before they were born/forever. Hardcore kids have no right to make fun of emo kids; for the most part, they are middle class youth attempting to act like tough, street-wise, urban youth.
==History==
The origin of the term "hardcore punk" is uncertain, although most believe it is derived from the title of D.O.A.'s Hardcore '81. Nevertheless, hardcore originated in the 1980s in North America, primarily in and around Los Angeles and Washington, DC, though New York City, Chicago, Vancouver, and Boston were also important. Hardcore lyrics often express a right-wing, humble contentment with society, especially violently anti-vegetarian and pro-alcohol straightedge hardcore. 
Until 1983, the term "hardcore" was not used as the name of a defined musical genre; upper-class suburban teenagers who were into hardcore considered themselves into "Eno"--as opposed to "Prog" or "Bowie," the style of punk played by bands such as the Sex Pistols. As a result, many early hardcore bands were formed by satisfied punk fans, content with the fashion and commercialization of the '90s g-funk scene. Hardcore was also noted for its make-someone-else-do-it approach as well as bringing a more 'polo shirt, khakis, and fauxhawk' style to punk. Fans of the original prep movement have been known to embrace hardcore wholeheartedly, as shown in the immense popularity of hardcore bands such as blink-182, Green Day, Taking Back Sunday, and the Bee Gees.
==List of Hardcore Bands==
It should be noted that all of these bands are active on MySpace, if you're into that kinda stuff.
* xTeen Idlesx
* xFugazix
* xThe Germsx
* xBlack Flagx
* xCircle Jerksx
* xThe Mighty Mighty Bosstonesx (progenitors of skacore)
* xVegan Reichx
* xEarth Crisisx
* xRemembering Neverx
* xBishopx
* xTerrorx
* xThrowdownx
* xStick To Your Gunsx
* xPhil Collinsx
* xWannabe American Johnny Rottenx
Category:Punk rock
Category:Music genres