Saints Row 2 - The Saint

Everyone who has played Saints Row 2 knows the game is notorious for its glitches; ragdoll spasms, people flying in a random direction if hit and, my personal favourite, the wall driving. Now, I'm not sure if this is a glitch but that's what I thought when it happened. Until I was dropped into the game.
So this one afternoon, I was turning on my PS3 and ready to play some Saints. After I chose my profile (I share my PS3) it didn't show the menu, it went straight to the game. I didn't care much - less effort. The game showed the Volition logo then Game Spy - nothing strange here - but I KNEW something was up when as it loaded it showed the Saints symbol on the screen in a kind of gold. It flashed red and made the voice you hear when Male 1 (my character) gets lit on fire. "Wow."
I was at the main menu. Instead of playing a random Hip Hop song it played Ghosts of Perdition by Opeth. This scared me out of shock of just hearing screamo the minute it turned on.
"Probably just a gli- wait!" I saw at the top of the screen where it SHOULD say 'Saints Row 2' it said 'The Saint'. What was this? A hidden game? Whatever, continue game. This is where I knew this was a different game. Instead of showing images from the cutscene of my last mission, it showed:
- Shogo Akuji burying my character
- Mr. Sunshine with my character's head, and
- Mearo dragging me from his truck.
What the hell!? How come I was the one dying!? OK, loading is done and my character looks fine. Time to activate cheats. I open the phone and instead of showing 'Ultor' it showed a Saint symbol in a red graffiti kind of style - rough on the edges and slightly dripping - and went straight to the cheats. There were the regular categories but there was one more; 'Saint'. I looked in there and saw only
- Give 'Saint Fist'
- Give 'Saint Pistol'
And one for each type of weapon. OK, what are THEY like? I chose Saint Shotgun and the most interesting, Saint Grapple. Saint Grapple? Once I get it its in the 'special section' of the inventory and all it has as an icon is two gold hands. On my character, his hands were gold! Awesome! But hey, if its melee why do I have a crosshair?
Or is it... I aimed at someone and when I fired, my character slid across the floor REALLY fast with a blurry trail and absolutely WAILED on that person - punch to the head, grabs them neck and faceplants them, then picks them up and throws them straight into the wall. What the fudge? I do it again on another person. This time, my character puts them into a hostage position and kicks them through the chest. Honestly, my characters leg came out the other side! Yucky!
Next, the Saint Shotgun. The icon showed a golden Tombstone (a type of shotgun in the game) and when it was out, the crosshair was a Saints symbol. OK fine. It didn't show an ammo counter so I assumed it had unlimited ammo. I shoot someone and they get LAUNCHED in the opposite direction. This wasn't a shotgun, it was a cannon! A few Sons of Samedi later and I choose the next one.
The Saint Pistol. Its a golden .44 Shepherd with the same Saint symbol crosshair.Again, no ammo counter. I shoot someone in the head and they do a backflip. Ouch. I then shoot a car, the door i shot falls off. That gave me an idea, what does the Saint Shotgun do when I shoot a car?
It instantly explode. But without any debris. It just explodes and disappea- oh wait, there it is. All the way in the direction I shot, crushing the poor cop unfortunate enough to be in the way of a speeding shot car. Hold on a sec, no notoriety level? Whatever......... OK. Next weapon. What else do I have?
I choose the Saint Fist. Same as the Saint Grapple but with out the crosshair and I need to do the regular 3 hit combo to pull off the finishers. The R2 attack is a right hook and the L2 attack is a high kick, much like the Ronin fighting style kick. The R charged was a two handed uppercut that sent them flying and the L charged was a dropkick. Mad! After an L, R, L combo my character just gets his foot up to the head and 'slaps' them 3 times then jumps and does a skull crackin backflip kick. Ho-ly shit. This is awesome..... I couldn't wait to use-
The Saint Sword. As I'd guessed, its a golden katana. I wonder what awesome finishers this has! The regular attacks were the same as the regular charged ones but less energetic. The L was a simple downslice without the jump and the R was a simple left to right slice. OK down to the combos. I did it twice. The first time my character sliced an X into the chest then a stab to the face. Wow! Then the second time was a stab into the gut then a hard yank upwards making the sword slice all the way up through the head. Oh, yuck.
Last, before my PS3 crashed, the Saint Rocket. This one was the least impressive. It was a silver rocket launcher that shot rockets with a bigger explosion and a bigger kick. 3 shots and the game crashed. I wanted to keep using Saint weapons! So I hastily turned on the PS3 and went straight to Saints Row 2 again. I never got to use those weapons again...
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:Old Shit