Otto & George

Otto & George was a very unique ventriloquist act by Otto Peterson and his puppet George. What made it a unique act was George had his hand up Otto's ass and made the real dummy talk without the puppets lips moving!
Otto & George 	Otto & George
 	
Occupation 	Ventriloquist, Comedian, Poos-sey Surveyor, Liberation Against Your Mothers Cunt
Years Active 	A while ago to 2014.
Associated Acts 	Aristocrats, Comedies Dirtiest Dozen, A Boy & His Log, Jesus Pays To Suck Your Mothers Cunt
Website 	Your Mothers Cunt Dot Com
right|thumb|250px|George about to get some POO-SEY!	right|thumb|250px|George about to get some POO-SEY!
==Otto Peterson==
Otto grew up in a shithole known as New Jersey. A place where if you fart in a car, they roll the windows up! Otto decided to go into comedy because he sucked at everything else. He came to this revelation one day when he stuck 11 oysters up his grandmothers cunt, and ended up licking out 12!
Since the revelation of that day, Otto found he needed to unleash his built up sexual frustrations, and addiction to protein Slurpees by channeling his anger through a doll.
===George "Squat & Gobble" Dumby-Dumby===
George was born out of a shit pataki Otto took in the midst of the Great Gang Bang of 1987 before being circumcised with a pencil sharpener. George was molded from the two-ton load of toilet paper and shit-water that had spilled out of Oprah Winfrey's cunt at the gang bang.
George first appeared on stage with Otto in 1988 due to the fact that Gary Demsey sucked.
==The Dynamic Fucking Duo==
Otto combed his hair with a cock and the two hit the stage for the first time. Before they made it famous, they found it hard to make mince meat. Otto was found one day asking for a fork from a man in an office. To which he received one. Several other homeless people also asked this same man for a fork. Eventually George came in to see the business man, to which the business man said, "let me guess? You want a fork?". George replied, "No, I want a straw, the puke in the alley next door's chunks have all been taken, so I need a straw to slurp up whats left... ya gotta get in early for the best bits"
===The Typical Act===
Otto & Georges act on stage would normally consist of Otto bringing George out on stage and opening with an act where Otto drinks a glass of water, while the dummy blows him.
The audience cheers and act two begins. During act 2 George will tell some clean jokes about your mothers cunt & offer ladies protein slurpees. Then the act turns onto who George would like to shoot in the head and fuck the bullet hole of, then pick on someone in the audience about having shit-water in their cunt after they went to the bathroom.
It is then followed up by the second half of the show where George rants on about how he has a wooden cock, asking if the girls in the front row are afraid of splinters, and then a story about how he wants to fuck all the mannequins at Maceys, while Otto fucks the lawnmowers on the 3rd floor. 
The show then ends by George skull fucking the rotting corpse of Princess Diana and making jokes about her and Pink Floyd both having huge hits with a wall.
==Personal Lives==
Otto Peterson lived on Staten Island where he ran a small farm and didn't get laid very often cause he was impotent. On his farm he raised livestock, and just recently before he carked it, celebrated by finally managing to get his bull to successfully mate with his cows. 
Otto had been struggling to get the Bull to mate, but was given some advice from a fellow farmer that helped solve the problem. The farmer told him what he needed to do was go up to the cow and insert his arm into the cows cunt, and work his fingers around until the cow's juices started to form. Once the cow was wet enough, he was to take some of the cows cunt-juices and wipe it under the nose of the Bull. This would make him horny from the smell of POO-SAYY!
Otto did this and the Bull got a whiff and straight away ran to the cows and fucked the lot of them. George wondered if this technique might also work on humans? So he slipped in beside his woman in the early hours of the morning, whilst it was pitch black in the room. She was sound asleep and Otto proceeded to dip his fingers inside her hoo-haw and work up a nice amount of vaginal snot. He then rubbed the pussy-juice under his nose and felt his dick get almost as hard as Micheal Jackson watching Sesame Street.
Otto then shook his girl around yelling, "Wake Up, Wake Up, I wanna show you something?". His woman woke up and turned the lights on and looked at him and yelled back, "You woke me up in the middle of the night just to tell me your nose is bleeding?"
===Protein Slurpees Make a Mint...A COCK!===
In 1992 George opened up a lemonade stand to help raise funds for his smack addiction. But it wasn't making any money. Not until one day when a man asked him if he could add some kick to the drink. So George jerked off in the cup and handed it to him. The protein substance was pretty low in total calories, but it had a shit load more then then Gatorade and tasted a fuck lot better then anything from Burger King.
==George meets Jesus==
<youtube>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mxmSWpP4KA</youtube>
==Some CLEAN jokes by Otto & George==
Q: What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
:A: See you next month!
Q: What does your mother and a soccer goalie have in common?
:A: They both change their pads every couple of periods!
Gilligan's Fucking Island
Two guys and a girl get marooned on a desert island. 
After one week, the woman is so ashamed of what she's doing, she kills herself! 
After another week goes by, the men are so ashamed of what they're doing, they buried her! 
After another week, they're so ashamed of what they're doing they dug her back up again!
Poetry
There once was a vampire named Mabel 
Whose periods where highly unstable 
One night at full moon 
She took out a spoon 
And drank herself under the table... a COCK!	
Al-Qaeda
George: Did you know that in 2009 the rate in suicide bombings has gone down 97%? 
Otto: Really?
George: Yeah, it's all thanks to that ugly cunt Susan Boyle!
Otto: Oh come on, leave her alone.
George: Ever since she came along and showed those camel fuckers what a real virgin looks like, they haven't been so keen to die!
Michael Jackson
George: I met Michael Jackson once! 
Otto:' Really? How did it go?
George: Euhh, he was one of those typical parents who always crap on about their fucking kids.
Otto: What did he say?
George: He said, "Oh, my kid did the cutest thing the other day!" I said, "What did he do?" Michael replied, "While I was molesting him, he reached orgasm"
Otto: You can't say things like that George!! 
George: Fuck you, I will say anything I want about him. You know he sleeps with kids so young, after they blow him, he has to burp them!
==External Links, you Mother Fucker==
* George Gets So Bored He Turtle Waxes His Dick
* Otto & George Do Some Stand Up Comedy... which is better then Sit Down, you dirty cunt-bastard
* George Protests the War of those stupid towel shit heads
* ahhhhh cock a doodle dooo
* Comedies Dirtiest Dozen, without the other 10 talentless cunts]
==Death==
Otto Peterson died in 2014 after an argument with George that his threats where empty and he would never actually go through with what he ever claimed he'd do to Otto on stage. 
Otto was found the next day dead in his apartment with a large hole in his forhead contaminated with traces of gunpowder, splinters and Georges semen.
==Thanks for coming==
I hope I do!
::Visit us at www.yourmotherscunt.com
Category:ComedyCategory:ComediansCategory:...For Dummies