SFA positions

In the sport of Australian rules football, each of the eighteen players in a team are assigned to a particular named position on the field of play. These positions describe both the player's main role and by implication their location on the ground. As the game has evolved, tactics and team formations have changed, and the names of the positions and the duties involved have evolved too. In total there are 18 positions in Australian rules football, not including 2 interchange players who may come onto the ground at any time during play to replace another player.
The fluid nature of the modern game means the positions in football are not as formally defined as in sports such as rugby or American football. Even so, most players will play in a limited range of positions throughout their career, as each position requires a particular set of skills. Footballers who are able to play comfortably in numerous positions are referred to as utility players.
==Qooty Football Positions==
In Qooty Football the positions are much less fluid and adhere to the old school method of roaming midfielders and playing man on man football (the way it should be played). Qooty does not take kindly to the forward press, the tagger, the zone or the flood making for a much more open and free flowing game.
===The Back Line===
As in bygone days the backline is where semi-retired Inactive midfielders and forwards sometimes find themselves. However there are many honourable and solid Active players that choose to ply their trade across the defensive area of the field and this is a salute to them.
====Full back====
AKA The Thug or The Backbone
Those fancy tunnel visioned Full Forwards don't know what hit them when a quality Full Back comes a long. The Full Back is the man mountain of the defense and is often seen kicking the ball out after pressuring the forward into kicking a behind.
====Centre Half Back====
AKA Ain't Half Hard Back Here
Forwards will tell you otherwise but these guys have the toughest job on the field and therefore only the best should play here. This is not often the case and the glory hunter Centre Half Forward will take full advantage.
====Back Pocket====
AKA Where Rovers go to Die
Only the angriest of gnarled midfielders play here and they'll tell you those little whippet Forwards will whinge and whine all day and then talk up the glorious five minutes that netted them their two goals. Occasionally the Back Pocket will get an opportunity and that forward wont be seen for the rest of the match.
====Half Back Flank====
AKA The Half Back
It is the job of these guys to make the Half Forwards life hell. While that pesky forward has one eye on the goals these guys will swing into space, read the play and then be off down the wings. Some of them even count themselves as midfielders and think its the forward's job to pick them up but they get a wake up call, when the Half Forward is camping back on the rebound.
===The Midfield===
Midfield is where the glory is, the medals might be named after stalwarts but these guys take that medal home and the name with it.
====Ruck====
AKA The Dinosaur or Gomer Pile
This guy is completely out of place, he can often be seen having a beer with the Fullback and Centre Half Back but enjoys the prestige of playing in the centre. They even have a stat that is almost exclusively theirs, the Hit-Out. It is there job to launch themselves bodily into the oposition ruck in order to spoon feed the rest of the midfield. Occasionally a midfielder, most likely the Centre will buy them a beer for it too.
====Centre====
AKA The Diesel Engine
These guys are born angry and later become sore and angry. It is their job to be everywhere, Defense, Forward and mostly at the bottom of every pack dishing the ball out to the outside (another word for lazy) midfielders. They occasionally enjoy some acolades and the rest of the time they look longingly to the defenders and that Chudshake at the end of the match.
====(Ruck) Rover====
AKA Glory Boys
This is actually two positions but its a bit like the Groomsmen at a wedding the taller one (Ruck Rover) is closer to the Groom (Ruck) but the shorter one (Rover) doesn't have to give a speech and can take a brides made home. These guys basically get fed the ball and then run off with it. Unlike most other positions on the field they probably don't think they have a direct opponent which means their counter-part enjoys the same.
====Wings====
AKA Iceman and Maverick
If the Rovers don't have an opponent then these guys don't have an opposition. They shake their opponents hand at the start and end of the match and that is the last time they see each other. Sure they'll go into the back line but one to receive a cheap kick and give themselves more space to go for a bounce. Often they'll bypass the forwards and kick for goal themselves.
===The Forwards===
Goals win matches, least that is what the Forwards tell everyone. Often to the obvious delight (see sarcasm) of the rest of the team the result of the match can be decided on their boot.
====Full Forward====
AKA Boofheads
These guys camp the goal square like a russian sniper and will do their job in spurts of 30second plays that result in a score or them watching the defenders run away with the ball. Then they'll wait a few minutes and do it again but they'll be the first to insist on the water bottle after the goal is scored.
====Centre Half Forwards====
AKA The Other Half Hard Possie
These guys generally have the toughest opponent on them and they know it. They'll work there butt off, climbing up to the wing and then running back into space only for the ball to travel over their head to the Full Forward. They are secretly Centre Half Backs that want a chance to score a goal and they'll take the glory when they can.
====Forward Pocket====
AKA The Whippets
These starving rover wannabes look like they should be playing table tennis not Footy but under estimate them at your peril. They will hang around the Full Forward like blow flies feeding off his crap marking ability and kick three quick goals in a quarter and call it a day. Occasionally a resting ruck finds himself here but generally the Full Forward tells him to stay away.
====Half Forward Flank====
AKA The Split Personality
This position defines itself, well half of itself anyway. They are only half a forward and the other half of the position is made up of their personalities. Sometimes they are a midfield, pushing up into the space left by the vagabond winger. Other times they are a defender chasing their half-back or often the Full Back (for the Full Forward) down the field in vane. They'll chip in for their one or two goals a match but not get much glory for it.
===The Bench===
The pine, the place of rest and the home of the inactive. The bench is hallowed ground because it is where player go to be entombed unless the gods decide they can be re-incarnated or they pull their digit out and make a sacrifice to the Qooty gods of posting.
====Interchange====
AKA Weasels or Warmers
Their is two types of interchange players, those that have the coaches ear and get put on in the first few minutes and those that are there to carry the oranges on to the field during the breaks in quarters. All the on field players look sadly in their direction but dare not linger too long for fear of attracting the Coaches eye.
====The Coach====
AKA Qooty
Qooty is your coach and your god, he doesn't care if you are slaughtering the opposition, he'll ring the change anyway. Sometimes the Weasel will make sacrifices to the Qooty realm for a spot on the field but he is blind to your injustices. Bow down to Qooty and his father Mobbenfuhrer