nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Cell Phone

If you call yourself on your own cellular phone, sometimes you will get an answer. You won't hear anything other than heavy breathing, so don't bother waiting for them to speak. If you then say the name of a person you know and a reason that they should die (reasons like "I just want them dead" do work), then they will die a gruesome death within the next 24 hours. Their horribly mangled corpse will be completely unrecognizable, and there is never any evidence pointing to a specific perpetrator so the person(s) who performs this service has never been caught. This was how the infamous Black Dahlia murder was perpetrated.
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Censorship

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Hello, Professor Innerscope here. Last time, I taught you how gas worked on the Earth. Now, that lesson, I tell you, was (and still is) completely reliable, and any student reading that automatically got an A on his/her chemistry test! So I must be smart.
Anyway, today, I will cover censorship.
==Examples of censorship:==
1. Person A: "Holy [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]"
2. Area 51 expedition essay:
[censored]
3. 4kids Entertainment's anime
Censorship, if done right, is completely acceptable. It is what keeps kids from hearing naughty things on MA rated shows. It is what brainwashes citizens. It is very useful among the government.
==Some things to use Censorship for:==
#Localizing M rated anime for 4 year olds
#Blocking out curse words on M rated shows
#Appeasing soccer moms
#To prevent children from choking other people while they slit their throats in the process of driving a car that is about to crash into a cruiser with a ton of explosives that, if anyone contacts them, a whole country blows up
Censorship is very useful.
==Why we need Censorship:==
It's obvious really. We {censored phrase} need censorship. The government is [censored root] washing our minds from [censored fragment]. Why else would [censored paragraph]. I mean, Osama Bin Laden was killed for [censored [censored censorship]] and other causes.
As you can see, Censorship truly is needed. If we support Censorship, the whole world will be saved!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Cereal Box Copypasta

Every fucking time I pass by the kitchen I can't resist but stick my dick in the Nesquik cereal box. It doesn't matter if the cereal hurts my tip, I thrust it in as fast as I can. I don't care if my grandma cries for me to stop, I can't resist looking at his goddamn face; yeah, that's right, the Nesquik bunny's face. As I masturbate in chocolate cereal balls I imagine the Nesquik bunny begging me to destroy his ass, and then ejaculating chocolate milk all over my face as I grant his wish. Normal people disgust me, my only sex drive is towards that fucking bunny; since the first time I've seen his sexy ass I can't restrain myself from cumming in the chocolate cereal box at least twice a day. Everyone in the house thinks that I'm crazy and that I need some kind of therapy, but truth is, I'm the only sane one here.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Shortpasta
Certain Drawing Age

Hi. I'm Aaron. I'm 15 years old. I was burned in a fire in 2002 when I was 5. I went to a camp for burned people. It was a camp in San Diego. There I met Chris and Carla. They were very nice to me. They would draw crosses and under it they wrote "CERTAIN DRAWING AGE".
One night they snuck out to my cabin and woke me up. They wanted me to pray with them. Reluctantly I said, "Alright you two. I'll do it. How long's it gonna take?"
Carla said, "Not that long." We got to get some things along the way to the church. We'd make a cross everywhere we went. We just grab some branches and tie them together.
Then it was done. "Lets go," I said. Then we left.
On the way we picked up the smallest 15 year old I'd ever seen. He looked about five foot two and his name was Antwone. We all were about four miles away from camp when we got to the church. We grabbed two branches, made a cross, and let it fall against the wall of the church. We prayed in the abandoned church for a minute, then left. No one said a word the entire walk back to camp.
The next day I asked Chris if I could see the crosses he drew. He said yes. I was expecting or 6 crosses. I WAS WRONG. I counted the crosses as I saw them. There were about 759. He kept them in a plastic drawer in his cabin. He asked if I wanted to go on another prayer session. Once again, I said yes.
This one was different. Me and Antwone weren't expecting it.
As we got to the church, Chris lunged at me. Carla lunged at Antwone. Chris got me in a some kind of weird hold and Carla did the same to Ant. Chris grabbed a syringe with what looked like water. He stuck the needle into my spine just above the base and injected the needle. I felt everything. The needle in my spine and the injection.
Chris pulled out a box cutter and cut my back along my spine. My body fell limp. Ant got the same. Poor kid.
Chris cut my spine away from my body. I died.
Before I died both of them said at the same time, "Certain drawing age!" over and over. Carla said "Your spines will incarnate. He will be pleased. You're probably wondering why he needs them. Lets just say certain drawing age! Now we will be immortal! Never ending life!"
Chris joined in by saying," The spines of a thousand teenagers will do nicely! You two are the lucky 900 and 1000 numbers!
They got what they wanted. Those sick, morbid mother fuckers. We'll get our revenge one day, and we will enjoy it!
Just one detail bugs me to this day. What does drawing have to do with this?
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:Old Shit
ChaCha's Nanomachines

-Be me
-Buy Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate for the 3ds
-Insert game card
-Notice I accidentally put in the wrong game card--it was Shrek 5 the Video Game.
-Throw Shrek 5 the Video Game into trash can
-Hear a large thump at my door
-Something bursts through door
-He says, "It's all ogre for you unless you do a lil' somethin' for me"
-I then realize it's Shrek and ask him what he wants
-In an instant, he pulls Shrek 5 the Video Game out of trash can into his hand with telekinesis
-He puts down game and inserts MH3U in my 3ds instead
-I start a new game and begin by naming the character Shrek
-Find there is no green skin color
-Shrek releases a growl of indignation from his throat
-He rips the game out of 3ds and subconsciously throws it at the box for Revengeance
-Shrek puts Shrek 5 the Video Game back in 3ds
-Forces me to play it
-I die on the first level
-He smacks me on face
-I'm crying now
-He says "cheer up, laddeh"
-I hear a loud crumbling sound
-It was ChaCha emerging from the floor
-I stop crying for the hero has arrived at last
-Out of the floor comes Raiden as well
-ChaCha throws boomerang at Shrek but it bounces off of him like a piece of plastic
-Shrek mutters the words "this is the part where your supposed to run away"
-Raiden approaches Shrek but he dies
-ChaCha runs away like Shrek said but hits a wall
-Shrek creates a doppelganger jumps into the air and says "DOUBLE SLAM"
-ChaCha is crushed under SHrek's weight
-Another figure appears at door
-It's Senator Major Armstrong
-"My nanomachines have hardened in response to physical trauma for generations" he says
-Armstrong charges at Shrek
-SHrek summons a ring of fire
-Armstrong runs past the flames and headbutts Shrek
-Shrek explodes
-Armstrong pulls me up from the rubble and flies away
-Start up 3ds
-Notice that Shrek 5 the Video Game disintegrated and ruined cartridge slot
-Now unable to play Shrek 5 the Video Game and MH3U
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Memes
Category:Vidya games
Category:Shrek
Category:Shortpasta
Chad's Photograph

The singer of the band Nickelback, Chad Kroeger, decided to explore the Canadian tundra out of sheer boredom and curiosity. He ended up finding a mysterious cavern in the middle of the tundra. "Maybe it's a good idea to check and see what's inside." he says. And slowly, he enters the cave.
About twenty minutes in, he realizes that he was completely lost. He searched high and low for a way out, but to no avail. Chad, convinced he became more lost than he already was, gives up.
Hours pass...
Chad starts singing to himself, imprisoned in the dark, dank tomb of a cavern with no exit, trying to stay sane. Nothing but a photograph to keep him company. Chad sings to it, his memories of said photo gradually fading away into the abyss around him. 
Hour by hour, day by day, Chad slowly becomes dehydrated and starts hallucinating. The photograph becomes real, but terribly distorted. An altered, terrifying version of his own past materializes in front of his eyes, sensory-deprived and desperate for any picture. Joey's face melts away, the unknown object on his head twists & morphs until it becomes a cosmic horror, even more indistinguishable than before.
Chad, already weakened and desiccated, is paralyzed. He's unable to move, but the horror can. It slowly moves closer... closer...
A tentacle emerges from the darkness.
A foreign, terrible texture brushes against his skin. a perverse caress, chad frozen, a single tear wells up and rolls down his cheek. Chad does the only thing that he can remember anymore. he sings LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH. Eldritch screeches ring out around him. Chad continues, his mouth dry and his voice diminished by his time in the cavern. Even so, it's enough to infuriate the creature. It begins to thrash as even more unholy tones well up in dissonance, grabbing for the photograph simply to silence Chad. 
LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH, EVERY TIME I DO IT MAKES ME LAUGH, the creature's tentacles begin to swarm around Chad, searching for the photo. The creature's efforts are in vain. Chad reaches the end of the song. EVERY TIME I DO, IT MAKES ME...
The creature is gone...
Chad, finally in solitude, stares at the photograph, smiles, wonders if he should go back to school and try to graduate. The last of his life escapes from his body with this thought, and the photograph slowly slips from his hands...
Chad wakes up...
He is safe next to his wife, Avril Lavigne. Drenched in sweat, his heart's pounding. 
Avril stirs from her sleep. "Is everything okay?" she asks.
"Yes," says Chad. "I just wish I knew what was on Joey's head."
Chad goes back to sleep...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:DIALOGUE!
Chamber of Emptiness

In Kalos, its always been rumored that a cave known as the Chamber of Emptiness, was a cursed place where no being could live. It almost seemed as a void, is what I hear. Its also been rumored that a mysterious aura circles the area, even Pokemon like Lucario couldn't define its owner. And from what I hear, the aura can cause Pokemon to go haywire and attack their trainers. Not only was this bizarre, but it sparked my curiosity. I'm a Pokemon Trainer, you see, one who has been known for his actions to save Kalos from the once-threatning Team Flare, who nearly wiped the planet to a clean slate with the ultimate weapon, I defeated their leader, Lysandre, after the legendary pokemon, Yvental awoke from its eternal slumber. But thats enough lore, on to the happenings at the Chamber of Emptiness.
It was so dark...and so cold, I could barley feel myself move. My trusty Delphox was creating a light source, but we both knew that it wouldn't suffice for the rest of the exploration. The only sound was the sound of water hitting the caves surface. It was just as they said....not a thing could live there. There were no Pokemon except Delphox and the ones I was carrying. The cave was so strange, no curves, no cliffs, or ledges...just a flat surface. There was also the eerie feeling of being watched circling around me, mocking me. But I kept in mind that there was no possible way for Pokemon to survive in the harsh cold without a source of heat. I proceeded deeper and deeper into the chamber, and the deeper I went, the more the feeling of being watched grew, like a swelling bruise, It was growing larger with every step I took. 
I thought I was loosing my sanity, because I began to hear sounds other than the water sliding off the cave's ceiling. It was a voice, which seemed to be calling to someone. After stopping for at least ten minutes, I found out what it was saying, it was repeating "Come closer. Come closer. Come closer." I began to turn back to see a figure standing there, it was no doubt a phantom, it looked like a young girl, she was glowing, a shade of cyan. She looked up at me, her face was mutalated, absolutely deranged, I couldnt get enough of a look before I passed out. From then on...I was stuck in a nightmare.....forever.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pokemon
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:English Class Failure
Change for a Dollar

The next time you make a purchase, hand the clerk a $1 bill and ask her to make change.
She will hand you back a number of coins, several of which bear the likenesses of long dead historical figures.
Category:Satire
Category:Rituwel
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Old Shit
Category:Classics
Category:Shortpasta
Channel A News

I watch the news a lot. I’m always up late at night reading articles online, and when it’s morning I turn on the news. You could call me a “newsoholic”, because when I have nothing to do I’m doing something news-related.
Anyways, one day I was going through news channels until I found one I never saw before called “Channel A News”. “That’s a weird name,” I thought to myself. I turned it on and the weatherman was in the middle of talking about how cold it was outside. “And in Miami, a below freezing temperature of -13 degrees fahrenheit.” What? Miami’s never cold! I watched for a little bit more and it said that Indianapolis was snowing. I’m in Indianapolis, and it’s summer!
The next day, I turned on Channel A and it said that the White House got crashed into by a car. I checked all the other channels I watch, and none were reporting on the incident.
I looked a bit more into Channel A, and saw that they had a website.
I read through it and it said all kinds of false stuff. “A helicopter hit the twin towers in 2003” “John F Kennedy was stabbed in 1986” “The Egyptian Pyramids of Giza were bombed in 2017.” All false. It’s common knowledge that none of this happened. But it has videos of all of it happening.
Nobody else on Twitter I asked knows of this channel. This must be from some alternate universe.
It’s common knowledge that the Twin Towers were torn down by a wrecking ball. JFK didn’t get stabbed, he got hit by a car. The Pyramids of Giza were never built.
Apparently, there’s another alternate universe where people believed that The Twin Towers were hit by two planes in 2001, JFK being shot was another belief, and they even think the Pyramids of Giza are a thing. Weird stuff.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Shortpasta
Chanting

Something horrible has happened to my brother.
He's been chanting in his bedroom, nonstop.
We tried to take him to a psychiatrist.
We tried drugging him.
We tried hypnotizing him. (It didn't seem to be strong enough...)
Nothing worked.
Today, I went by his room to try to feed him, as usual.
Although my parents gave me strict orders not to turn him around, I decided to take one look at my brother any way.
What I saw could have given me nightmares.
He was staring into the distance, and his irises...
His irises were pulled dangerously tight.
I could barely even see his pupils anymore.
He opened his mouth.
"All glory to the Hip. No Toed."
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?!" I screamed into the darkness of his room.
"WHOEVER YOU ARE, HIP OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE? I MISS MY BROTHER, BRING HIM BACK!"
My brother ignored me, and refused his food, curling back into a fetal position in the dark corner of his room.
When I find this "Hip...No toed or Toes motherfucker," I'm going to rip this fuckers eyes ou-
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Memes
Category:TRUE STORY
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Chao Training

__NOTOC__
==Tom's Diary- Entry No.1==
Today I booted up my old Dreamcast to play Sonic Adventure 2. I wanted to go to the Chao Garden, but then I remembered I deleted the Chao file for some reason. So I threw my TV out the window and lit my Dreamcast on fire. Then I saw a plushy. Then I screamed. Then I cried.
-Tom
==Entry No.2==
Today my GameCube broke. I'm not quite sure why. I saw Sonic on it and I smashed it with a 2x4 with a nail through it. Then I had a crazy dream that I had the re-re-release of SA2 on my Xbox 360. I woke and remembered I did have it.
-Tom
==Entry No.3==
I played my game today. My Chao are so cute! Kyle would just love them. I wonder where he is... Anyways, my Chao named Chao said its first word! I don't remember that ever happening before. Must be a glitch.
-Tom
==Entry No.4==
I started training my Chao named Chao for races and Chao Karate today. He fucking sucked, so I yelled at the TV.
-Love Tom
==Entry No.5==
I saw a Chao plush on my bed. It tried to kill me. Must be a glitch.
-Love Tommy
==Entry No.6==
I saw the plush again and it tried to kill me again. I told my mommy and she sent me to the asylum for bad behavior.
-Love, Tom Dearest
==Entry No.7==
I saw it again and the doctors think I'm nuts. Mommy told them to put me to sleep because the can't cure me. Huh... what does that mean? Take a nap...?
-XXXXXXXXXXXXX, Tom: Mommy's Special Little Guy
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Sonic
Category:Jornel
Category:Living Objects
Category:Unnecessary Sequels
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Chaos Theory

This is my chaos theory about how the world will end as we know it, and it all starts with Scott Cawthon.
Five Nights at Freddy's is a survival horror/point and click game made by Scott Cawthon. The first game was great, and the next 21 sequels are also good, adding new scares and everything.
However, in 2020, Scott Cawthon would announce Five Nights at Freddys World, which would feature an animatronic version of Kim Jon-un. The North Korean leader himself assassinates Scott Cawthon, which starts WW3 in the US.
By 2021, North Korea has taken over the U.S, but a revolution is held when President Obama hires a ragtag team of scientists to create robots capable of traveling to the past and terminating Scott Cawthon before he makes FNaF World. However, a horrible flaw was discovered.
The robots were capable of human intelligence, and started to realize the huge plot hole in their plan. If they successfully terminated Scott in the past, they would never have been built in the first place, which would cause Scott to still exist, which causes the robots to be built in the FIRST PLACE! The robots started to revolt against the humans, and by 2022, the human race was no more. Except for one smart nurse. She realized that even though the world was rid of humans, there was no destruction to any properties.
She ran to a sperm bank and (CENSORED FOR OBVIOUS REASONS) got pregnant. She decided to take one of the robots and re coded it to be nice. The nice robot successfully convinced the other evil robots to be nice to the lady, as she was viewed as " the creator. "
Nine months later, she gave birth to a boy and a girl, which successfully revived the human race from extinction. 
The year is now late 2045, and the human race has been repopulated to around 50 people. the woman kept being pregnant by using different sperm to prevent the horrible side effects of incest. the robots have been wiped out, and everything is back to normal, except for the growing cult. This new cult believes that living is a sin, and will commit mass suicide 3 days after the new year, 2046.
"The Suicide Day" occurred, but they heard a massive rumbling noise coming from the clouds. The sun had exploded and chunks of it landed on earth, killing everything everywhere. That's how the earth is going to end.
Written on February 3rd, 2015‎
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Suicide
Category:THERY
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Charles' Death (Original Script)

We know that Charles Prick, a ghost hunter from the Asylum story series, was shoved into an alligator's face, but that wasn't the first original script. This is going to be a disturbing read, if you are easily terrified of this kind of stuff. It also shows that Charles was originally far more violent than what we see of him now. He was violent toward both humans and animals alike, and was a very feared figure in town.
The contents of the tape are as follows:
After he mercilessly trapped the rats in the cage, he headed to the bathroom and tried searching for evidence of a ghost in there. He was unaware that he was being watched, and as the lights flickered on and off, a giant alligator head and front leg appeared from out of one of the three holes where toilets once were. Petrified, Charles was quick for the exit, but the gator went to the bulb and smashed it, breaking the only light source and leaving the entirety of the bathroom pitch black.
Terrified, Charles tried leaving through the door, but his nightmare only became worse finding out the door was now locked. The gator approached him slowly, and beyond the door blood-curtling screams from Charles could be heard, along with the growling sounds of the alligator. The twisted torture ended, however, when Charles was thrown through the door in a bloody mess.
The seemingly vicious man-eating gator approached him slowly, and instead of messing with him as we see now, he straight-up grabbed him by the back of his shirt with one hand. Instead of swallowing him whole as we currently see, he involved his sharp teeth and squatted on all fours, ripping off Charles' head before moving on to his limbs. Charles, now headless, could not speak or scream or do anything, as the gator looked on at the reader in the art with menacing eyes. The animated artwork then faded to blackness, excluding his eyes, which remained present and glowing red.
I couldn't believe what I saw. The next shot showed the skull of Charles with his hat on it, a pair of cracks in it, and one of his eyeballs face down detached from the socket in front of the skull. It actually looked like an evil sorcerer or bokor's logo, like from The Princess and the Frog, but was much more graphic. Seeing that image, I had to refrain from throwing up.
I went back up to and kept my focus on the image of the gator toward the middle of the panel where he ate Charles, and took a fast picture of the image. I then posted the image of the gruesome gator image online. That was the last I ever saw of the story, and I never watched the tape again.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Well, that was pointless.