Sword of Syria

In Alice in Wonderland, Alice uses the Vorpal Sword to slay the Jabberwocky. However, Lewis Carroll based it on a real sword - in Syria.
Somewhere in Palmyra is a hidden, underground cave. According to a local story, the cave was a burial site for peasants, farmers, warriors, and even a king. However, when the Palmyrene Empire fell, the location of the burial site disappeared. Some people say it's near the Temple of Bel, though others can't be quite sure where the burial site is. It is truly a hidden place; radar searches of Palmyra actually couldn't find anything like a burial site.
If you do find the burial site's entrance, you will notice that two torches are burned out on the entrance. If the torches are burned out, then there will be no burial site. If you seal the way you came in, the torches will relight, and you can enter the burial site. The entrance is blocked with dirt, so you must dig out the entrance until you come across a 6-foot wide opening. Entering it will take you into a giant burial site complex, and on the alcoves are skeletal body fragments. The burial site is massive, with some people claiming it to be over a thousand feet long.
Even though it might not be interesting, there are a few noteworthy spots in the site. First off, there's a few Palmyrian art pieces on the walls. These show some people being killed in what seems like a war. But the most interesting part of the site is the fabled "Sword Room". At the deepest part of the crypt, there is a wall with a hole in it. The hole is just round. If you look around, one of the bodies has a key-shaped bone. Putting the key in opens a hidden door. If you enter the room, you will see something very interesting.
On a beautifully decorated alcove sits the body of a man dressed like a king. However, this man isn't a skeleton; it looks like he would wake up and talk in his old language. However, the man has a sword in his right hand. Although the details are sketchy, picking up the sword in your right hand could do four things;
*The sword could give you bundles of strength, but reduce your intelligence to a mentally challenged level.
*The sword, on the opposite side, could give you a lot of intelligence, making you a genius of Stephen Hawking's level, but it would make you physically weak.
*The sword could give you hearing that rivals a dog's hearing, but you will be stricken blind.
*Finally, the sword could give you perfect 20/20 eyesight, but it will make you deaf. If you already have 20/20 eyesight, then this won't happen.
If you dare to hold the sword in your left hand, it has a 50% chance of making you happy enough to get out of depression. The other half makes you so depressed, you will actually commit suicide with the sword. However, even if you get one of the powers, the body of the man will actually awaken from his eternal slumber. You must get the sword and kill him, because if you don't...well, let's just say you'll be one of the newer additions to the burial site. That will also happen if you pick the sword up twice.
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