nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Lifeboats

A lifeboat is a small boat used to evacuate passengers from a ship that is on fire and/or sinking.
==Women and Children First==
Traditionally, women and minors under the age of 16 were given priority to board lifeboats. Originally based on old-fashioned concepts of the male responsibility to protect the weak, the policy remains in effect on most ships merely as a courtesy. Modern ships like this one has sufficient lifeboat capacity for all passengers - women, children and men. There is no need to push or shove. A calm, orderly disembarkation will be faster for everyone. 
Once you have finished with that unseemly panic, follow the other passengers to the life boat station. 
==Types of Lifeboats==
In general, there are two types of lifeboats: 
* Whaleboats - wood or fiberglass boats designed to be lowered from the ship's decks
* Inflatable rafts - space-saving rubber life rafts expand to full size in emergency
Just pick one and get in. They both float and are preferable to this sinking ship. 
==Lifeboat Operation==
Passengers are expected to learn about lifeboat operations during drills held at the beginning of every voyage, and it's a little late to ask now. Some passengers can't seem to wait to get drunk. The lifeboat's oars are simply for backup, this boat is equipped with a gas-powered motor. Please do not stand in the boat. Without a low center of gravity, the boat is likely to capsize. Do not play with the flare gun. Put it down. Put it down, I said!
==*BANG* Pssssssssst.==
This is the sound an inflatable life raft makes after a flare is shot through the rubber. Oh damn. All passengers should be wearing life vests!
Category:Transportation
Category:Marine navigation
Lifetime limited warranty

The lifetime limited warranty is a manufacturer's guarantee that a product will be replaced at no charge if found defective. Companies are required by law to distribute lifetime limited warranties with their products; although, many companies attempt to dodge the distribution of warranties through a process now known as "Warranty Evasion," which is one of the few criminal acts that can be punished with the death penalty.
==Evolution==
Lifetime limited warranties have been legally mandated by the United States federal government ever since Thomas Edison first turned the lights on at Independence Hall and discovered that the Liberty Bell had a crack in it. The evolution of the lifetime limited warranty has further been shaped by the following Congressional acts and Supreme Court cases:
Legislation
* Broken Stamp Act of 1917
* Broken Gavel Act of 1923
* Broken Arrow, Oklahoma Act of 1954
* Broken Heart Act of 1971
* Broken Limb Act of 1988
Supreme Court Cases
* Smith v. Microsoft
* Samuels v. Microsoft
* Bradley v. Microsoft
* Foster v. Microsoft
* Macintosh v. Microsoft
* Sony v. Microsoft
* Dell v. Microsoft
* Microsoft v. Dell
==Limits==
Many debates have been held regarding the true meaning of the lifetime limited warranty. Legally, the federal government has defined the lifetime limited warranty as guaranteed for the life of the owner as long as certain broad conditions are met. Following is a list of these conditions:
* Item must not be forced open.
* Item must not be touched.
* Item must not be thrown out of a window.
* Item must not be covered in dust.
* Item must not require some assembly.
* Item must not include batteries.
* Item must not have been purchased within thirty miles of owner's home.
==Lifetime==
In addition to the limits of the warranty, the meaning of "lifetime" has also been under investigation. Professors, scholars, and construction workers have surmised that "lifetime" can be best defined as a consistent period of excellent health, meaning that an owner's warranty lifetime will have come to an end if the owner is dead, has malaria, has a headache, has a nosebleed, has a sniffle, or otherwise experiences physical complications that impedes 110% performance of the human body.
==How To Claim Your Warranty==
Should you find yourself in a position to return a defective product that legally falls under the guidelines of the lifetime limited warranty, you must send a number of items to the manufacturer of the defective item in order to claim your warranty:
* The defective item
* A receipt of purchase
Category: Commerce
Category:Oxymorons
Liger

A liger (Tigerus leonius, probably) is an animal created when a lion and tiger meet, and they are confused (or really desperate). This often happens in captivity, under the influence of industrial narcotics and Danny Baker. Occasionally in unscrupulous zoos, romantic music is piped in through wireless speakers fitted to the backs of penguins, or the lion and tiger are plied with alcohol (usually raw meat Schnopps) until they get into the mood.
Ligers are born with magical properties to confuse and distract prey, especially human prey who know lions and tigers but don't know from ligers. Ligers predominate in an African nation called Ligeria. However, after the U.S. Civil War, the name of this land was changed to Liberia, mostly because of the low expense of changing the lettering on all those Post Offices.
Along with ligers, there are also tigons. The difference depends on sexual position and, these days, neither is "right" or "wrong."
==Magic powers==
The ginger liger (Napoleonus ligratus) is bred for its skills in magic. When the species was domesticated as draft animals, it was small. However, in captivity, ligers have grown to monstrous size.
The first ligers to be bred for magical purposes were in Japan. The breeders were trying to better draw magic tigers, a recurring theme in manga comics. It was the French who bred ligers for warfare. The French did not develop the magical abilities to devastate their opponents, but instead to induce a sense of whimsical, poetic confusion, turning the enemy soldier toward a life devoted to philosophy and art-house cinema that would induce sympathy for the French. It did not work.
The magic abilities of ligers are based on the three core magic varieties that any Diablo nut is familiar with: Cold, Fire, and Lightning. The liger Mana stats are stacked, as well as their Str stats. As a consequence, they have low charisma and dexterity. This is not a problem, as no one relies on the charisma of a liger. They rely on more radical spells like frost nova (cold), hydra (fire), and chain lightning (lightning) due to their low hit ratio. Ligers are also adept in light and dark magic, including damnation and summon skull minion.
==Escaping from an enraged liger==
Although ligers have excellent depth perception (rated 20/20), they have relatively poor width perception (20/60) and next to no height perception (SAE 5W-20). You can use this to your advantage if attacked by a liger in a jungle, desert, or car park. First, make yourself look very wide and then very thin. Next, look exceedingly tall. Avoid the liger's whirling helicopter blades and thrashing, poisonous barbed tail. Ignore the liger's magic powers and lure the liger into a nearby pond, river, or lake. Using an oversized protractor or similar instrument, turn the liger through 90 degrees about its core axis. This will take its excellent depth perception out of the equation and allow you to tempt the liger into deeper waters, beyond its limited water resistance.
==See also==
*Tiger
*Lion
*Food Lion
*King Kullen
Category:Mammals
Category:Minions of Satan
Category:Big Cats
Category:Cats
Lightning McQueen

Lightning Mick, Queen of Carsland, commonly referred as Lightning the Great, Lightning McQueen, The Rookie, Stickers, God of Speed, or simply Lightning, was the most influential ruler of the Cars World Civilization situated on the oasis of the Route 66 Valley of North America, as well as the American Disney-animated-sexier-racecar version of Thomas the Tank Engine. Not much is known about his life, and the only records of his legacy are recorded in the three sacred movies of the Cars trilogy written and directed by the 40 Pixar Apostles. 
The successor and apprentice of the nerdy boomer grandpa car Doctor Hudson, M.D., he relocated the imperial capital to the small but awesome town of Radiator Springs that quickly saw unprecedented economic growth. His invention of the amazing Rusteze bumper ointment brought peace and happiness throughout the entire world; now anybody, too, regardless of class or social standing, could look like him, just like in the commercial. Overall, he is perhaps best known for winning the Piston Cup a few dozen billion times in a row before eventually conquering the entire world in a campaign now known as the World Grand Prix. 
To this very day, McQueen still brings inspiration to all beings within both the material and supernatural realms of the universe through his wise teachings to the way of Kachow that has supposedly revealed the meaning of life. However, it is estimated that it will take about 15 more eons to fully understand the ways of McQueen us humans are not yet capable of understanding, for that we are all still beta-males and beta-females compared to the almighty very famous racecar.
==Early life==
===The arrival of McQueen===
When Lightning was only a little Hotwheel, he was sent to Earth from Cybertron to start a new society on Earth. He came down on a lightning bolt whose electric charge was so high that it ended the ice age when Lightning McQueen hit the ground super freaking hard accompanied with a K A C H O W !
===Childhood===
McQueen was raised by the almighty John Ratzenberger, a shapeshifter from the Pixar Empire on Pizza Planet, who was able to turn into many things, like a human, a piggy bank, and this time a big rig truck.
==Career==
After graduating from Super Speed University, Lightning McQueen got a sensei's degree in both Speed, Bumper ointment chemistry, and Chick magnetism. Then decided to race, go to Japan, Italy and then the UK.
Category:Cars
Category:Racists
Ligma balls

Ligma testicles syndrome, also known as ligma balls, is the scientific name for a genetic conditions which makes the height of your testicles uneven. Approximately 2 out of 3, or 6 out of 9, people have ligma balls.
People with this condition are usually referred to by multiple names, with the most common name being Ligma Males.
==Etymology==
The term "ligma balls", comes from the Latin word ligma, meaning "short", and the Euphemistic English word balls, meaning "testicles". However, "short testicles" is a misnomer, because only 1 of the two testicles is short compared to the other testicle in a person with ligma balls. However, there is a rare condition with which both of your testicles are shortened, and it was somehow called "ligma ball"
==Symptoms==
Those who have ligma balls will probably have their sperm count significantly lowered, which means that their chances of having a kid are significantly lowered.
One survey shows that those with ligma balls are more likely to become genocidal, racist dictators, like WWII-era Germany's Führer, Adolf Hitler, than those with even testicle height. This is due to the fact that the aforementioned Adolf Hitler had only one testicle. However, this was taken down by feminists, who think it's sexist that only males have ligma balls.
Category:Testicles
Lilo

Lilo was once a living legend, a folk hero in the free kingdom of Freenode, where Uncyclopedia's non-cabal resides.
==The legend==
His name stood for "Linux Loader" for his ability to instantly reload hundreds of Freenode servers running Linux. During his lifetime, Lilo was best known for spamming channels (especially #uncyclopedia) with notices about servers going down for maintenance about N times a day. The exact numbers were lost when the driver of the car that hit Lilo pressed a red button on a strange device found in his pocket, unaware that it was designed to blow up the statistics server in case of an FBI raid.
For his ability to reset connections, Lilo was often compared to Peer, another IRC legend. Some even speculated that Lilo and Peer were the same person, a theory that was thwarted after, on September 17, Freenode scientist "alleyoopster" discovered that Peer was still alive, which was formulated in a one-line report about his experiment:
 <-- alleyoopster has left this server (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer)).
==Speculation==
It is rumored that Lilo's death was actually faked to draw the officials away from the statistics server explosion, which occurred accidentally. It is supported by the fact that the IRC server remains ignorant about both accidents, not to mention users on all channels in existence (except #wikipedia, which boldly mentioned it in the topic despite an obvious Lilo sighting on that very channel). Nevertheless, they turned out to have enough resources to investigate both accidents.
Opponents of the "Lilo lives" theory point out that it wasn't Lilo himself who reverted the vandalism on his user page. Advocates, however, counter this argument, saying that dead people don't usually have user pages saying "I am", not to mention that nobody dies for real on Uncyclopedia anyway (or at least remains in that state for long).
Category:Computers
Lima

Lima could be:
*The capital of Perú.
*A wannabee Lima in the U.S. state of Ohio.
*Foxy pepper-pot Adriana Lima (pictured). You don't want to read a bleepin' article—but it does have more illustrations.
*A disgusting bean that nutritionists foist onto school cafeteria menus once a week for the sake of variety. This lima doesn't deserve its own article.
it:Lima
Lime Green

Lime is Green's copycat that just won't stop. Lime acts like a fruit that nobody would ask for. However, that fruit can severly depress you. 
==About==
Lime is a bright green colour whose hex code is usually #00ff00. It got its name from the rare Green Lemon. Studies show that the green lemon was brightened to make it not confused with Yellow Green. Many people claim that lime is "a very yellowed form of green". They try to use MS Paint's Colour Pallete to prove this. Any "00ff00"s with a red of "bf" or more are considered lime, whereas those with a red below "bf" are considered green. The MS Paint pallete, however, is very inaccurate in colour names. So, the HTML web colour pallete features lime as a classic #00ff00.
===Colour Bars===
Lime in Colour Bars is known as Green. This seems to be a controversial oppinion among critics, because most Colour Bars critics know about Lime.
<poll>
Is the lime/green-coloured character in Colour Bars named Lime or Green?
Lime
Green
</poll>
===Different names for Lime===
*Lime Green
*Green
*Dark Green
*Xenon
*Your baby
*Lime
== Questions ==
=== Who asked for this page? ===
I made this page, so obviously I did. I'd also say that asked for this.
===Why do people call Lime Green "Green"?===
Those people don't exist. I'll be on my way to edit Green to fix the Lime picture on there!
==Trivia==
*Lime only blew up in popularity after the addition of Lime to the list of Among Us colours.
*Brown has no affiliation with Lime, but they like to redirect you to Brown:Main Page.
*Depressants are a type of drug. Lime may be a drug and we might not even know it!
Limestone

Limestone (also commonly known as limestein in German) is commonly misinterpreted by several European countries as being kalkstein, which in English translates into chalkstone. On closer inspection, anyone who ever wrote anything obscene on the teacher's blackboard chalkboard using chalk at school would realise that limestone is blatantley not made of chalk, never mind someone with a so called geology degree. Limestone is in fact a citrus rock, composed mainly of the minerals lime (sodium chloride) and Vitamin C.
Limestone outcrops commonly form a distinctive type of erosional landforms known as karst, consisting of caves, gorges and volcanoes.
==Deposition and origins==
Limestones are formed in warm, tropical marine environments during storms when limes are blown off trees and trapped in tropical lagoons where they are slowly compacted by cockle farmers wading out to sea. Occasionally the cockle farmers will drop fragments of the shells into the limestone, making bearded people known as geologists think that the rock is derived from marine shell fragments which is quite frankly ridiculous. 
Fresh limestone is a lime green colour (hence the naming of Greenland which contains Cambrian limestones), although after a few years the limes turn mouldy, giving the rock a kind of white-grey appearance. Despite this, geologists always draw limestones on paper as blue rocks which is also a stupid thing to do as limestones aren't blue. This comes as no surprise as these are the same people that claim that if you heat limestone then you create marble, which in reality just creates black limes and a room smelling of Haze burnt citrus fruits. Limestones are also widespread across the Earth being closely associated with salt and tequila deposits which have been mined extensively in Mexico.
==Industry usage== 
The main use of limestone is to extract lime in order to produce limescale, an everyday household product which is used to clean bathroom surfaces such as enamel. Some companies produce anti-limescale products however for those that don't like stalactites growing in their bathrooms, making it look a bit like a cave. Occasionally farmers will crush limestones up to fertilise their fields, thus ensuring a richer and fruitier taste to their crops ready for harvest.
Category:Geology
Limo

A limo is a fancy car with penis envy. That's to say, limos are really fucking long, and we all know that's just to compensate for the limos' incredibly low collective self esteem. None of this is relevant to you urchins anyway: none of you reading this are rich enough to afford to even look at a limo, let alone be seen in one. So, in conclusion:
YEEEEEHAAAAAAAWWW!
Category:Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
Limp Bizkit

Limp Bizkit is a Floridian nu metal band from the sovereign nation-state of , Florida, to absolutely no one's surprise. Its lineup consists of lead vocalist and Harvard professor Fred Durst, drummer John Otto, funny outro guy Dj Lethal, bassist Sam Rivers and the world's first (and last) living Spirit Halloween prop Wes Borland. Durst's ability to play a guitar really fucking wellhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MI-_jWAmlE are the only reasons why this band got popular. The band has been nominated for Nobel Peace Prize, sold 40 million records worldwide, and won a can of Pepsi. (Just one Pepsi)
== History ==
Formed as a governmental psyop to sell more red MLB baseball caps, Limp Bizkit gained popularity by blaring their music late at night in the streets of Jacksonville. They signed with Flip Records (distributed by email through Interscope), which released their debut album, Three Dollar Bill, Y'all (1997). The band’s fame quickly grew with Significant Other in 1999 and C.S.H.D.F.W., or Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water for short in 2000. Their success though is infamously marred as Fred Durst singlehandedly caused every report to come out of Woodstock 99.
In 2001 Wes Borland vanished without any warning, leading to multiple search teams for the missing band member. In a deep sorrow at the disappearance of Wes, Fred Durst covered Hurt by Johnny Cash, amassing 216 views on NewGrounds. Wes was later found being worshipped by an uncontacted tribe deep in the landfills of Jacksonville, Florida (2005). They mix and matched other band members until finally fully reuniting in 2018, where now they play outside of gas stations for pocket change.
== See also ==
* Slipknot
* System of a Down
* The Offspring
* Eminem
== References ==
Category:Nu Metal
Category:American musical groups
Category:Considered By Most to Be the Best Band Ever
Limp Dick

__NOTOC__ 
Excuse me, have you got a second? I uh... I have a problem. A small, I mean, big... No, no. An average-sized problem.
And it's convenient too, I mean... You're the first man to come round this office block all evening. None of the girls would want to see th- Help me out.
If you could give me a helping hand here... I mean, some kind of assistance? I'd appreciate it, a lot.
=== Okay... What's the problem? ===
Right, huh, how do I say this?
It's a "man problem"... Obviously, which is why it's a gender specific problem. Again, I appreciate what you're doing.
I... um... have a "flexibility" issue... down... stairs?
=== You mean there's a problem with the staff downstairs on floor C7? ===
No, no! I mean... No, they're fine. Uh... I just don't know how to say it.
Um... No ammo stocked up in the chamber? No? 
Hmm... I have a problem getting it up?
=== You're having an erection problem, right? ===
No. No!
I mean... yes. Yes, an erection problem. I have a limp dick, to put it bluntly. I have flaccid penis, scientifically speaking... You look scientific, you are scientific, right? Um... Yes, anyway. I have... no erection.
=== So you cannot get an erection right now, or is it a constant problem? ===
Constant? Haha! That's a good one... I mean, yes. I've had this for quite some time now. I just don't know what to do about it. I've tried forcing myself to ejaculate by rubbing it really, really hard, but then my arms (and feet, eventually) got tired and they were as good as limp as well. It's just no good. And it's affecting me when I try talking to women, anyone even. There's no point in trying anyway, because I can't even wank off in the office block's toilets like I used t- I mean, uh... Please don't tell anyone I said that...
=== ... I see ===
Last week... I actually managed to coax talk up this girl I met in the nightclub on the city outskirts... But when we were about to do it, she saw the... uh... Yeah... She's probably telling every girl in town about me now.
And just now, I got this great photo of Laura from Human Resources, I got it from David. Dave will supply you with anything, by the way. Anyway yeah, she looked so good in it, so I rushed into the nearest empty toilet cubicle to try and masturbate to the picture and imagine I'm fucking Laura like a dog. 
But still, it's just... lying there! Wake up! Dammit!
=== Uh... ===
It's so frustrating! I'd do anything. Anything at all, just to get it up. Hell, I'd even let builders put scaffolding under it to make it at least prop up!
God! I'll do anything! Uh, not that I want you to... Uh... Look at it yourself, unless you want to...?
=== I'm... Going now ===
Please! Wait! Ugh, God. No use.
... Maybe I'll just cut the crap and get a sex change already.
==See Also==
*Erectile Dysfunction
*Pervert
*Limp Bizkit
*Garfield: Caught in the Act
Category:Penis Category:Medicine Category:Articles written in the first person Category:Articles for men only Category:Perverted