Reading Pleads the Fifth!

This is the fifth Deletion Refugee I'm reading. And what a coincidence! It's titled 55555! This wasn't planned at all, nope, definitely a coincidence.
You're crazy if you think any other thing
***
STOP if you don't want to die stop reading
Oh, alright!
Shortest reading ever.
But what fun would that be, right? Now I'm going to risk death or at least brain cells death and continue ahead.
once you start thinking about it it's in your head... NO ESCAPE NO ESCAPE FROM THE MIND!
Weed will liberate me. Watch me get out of my mind, author.
Late one night I was on the computer trying to find a good and free virus scan program...i found one, it was called '"5* virus scan'" it was actually really good.
VERY RELIABLE
Always trust something you find beyond the tenth Google Search page. Or the fifth, for the sake of this story
But then all I remember was falling asleep at the desk.
Very interesting. If you keep this superb storytelling, dear, I won't have any other option than falling asleep as well.
Oh wait, let me check...
...
...yep, scrolled down and doesn't seem to get better. I'll get a pillow
The next day I woke up at 5:55 am. The strange thing was that I woke up in bed
How kind of your mother! You know you have grown up when you fall asleep at the couch, and you wake up on the same couch with one hell of a backache.
just then I started feeling really sick and everything turned black and rotten, I blinked and everything was back to normal.
Come on, author, throw me a bone. Make this at least laughable. So far it's simply a snoozefest, and in consequence, this reading ends being a snoozefest too.
I looked at my computer monitor and saw this text with a black background '"ERROR:55555'" no idea what that was
"Error 55555, severity 16, state 1 was raised, but no message with that error number was found in sys.messages. If error is larger than 50000, make sure the user-defined message is added using sp_addmessage."
Google does wonders, man. Use it next time instead of losing your mind
so I thought I probably downloaded some sort of virus with that "5* virus scan" thing so I completley removed it from my hard drive.
"The antivirus I got from the deepest bowels of the Internet gave my computer viruses! Who would have thought?"
Just then I heard a car pull up at my door, I looked out the window and the number plate was 55555
How nice, mine reads "FUKNO"
I heard heavy breathing coming up the stairs I turned around and a feeling of dread passed through me as I saw a man with a knife standing in the doorway
"...I realized that Jeff the Killer was the one behind it all. –"Curse your phony antivirus, dude!"- I yelled"-
I ran as fast as I could but the man grabed me and pulled me up by the collar...he said only this '"The mind is coming!'"
Hopefully bringing a brain along
his skin was pale and he was wearing grey clothes with a vicious smile and empty eyes
Hey there, random hobo. Will you bring something interesting to this story?
I blinked and fell to the ground terrifyed.
Simply underwhelming
I thought I should call a doctor so I ran down stairs
Yes, man, do that! Leave that crazy person alone in a part of your house, free to ransack whatever he finds. You so smart
Also why a doctor?
and the house was empty, not a single person not even a sound just complete silence
Oh man, the hobo already left, stealing everything and leaving your house empty? So much for an inkling of something exciting happening
'Just then I looked at the clock and it said the time was 5'"55 pm
PM? Wasn't it AM...earlier...
...No...are you telling me that you spent at least a few hours seeing a car plate, falling to the floor and running downstairs?
It's official; this protagonist can't be helped now
I ran upstairs and heard that same heavy breathing. I quickly looked at my computers monitor and saw that my desktop background was a five
INTENSE. COMPUTER BACKGROUND. ACTION
that heavy breathing turned out to be coming from under my bed I was really scared
Why are you scared? He was clearly looking for a place to hang out! Who knows what crappy shelters and sucky cardboard boxes he has slept in? He's just there under the bed, let him be it isn't like he threatened you with a knife or shouted nonsense to you
so I messaged my friend jeff to see if this was just a dream.
If it was all a dream the utter disbelief will make me have a grand total of 5 IQ
Me: jeff are you there?
Jeff: yup what is it?
"-"Oh not much man. I downloaded a shady antivirus and then woke up and then I saw a number everywhere and then a man shouted at me THE MIND IS COMING. I went downstairs, and then went upstairs after doing nothing, and all this in the span of hours.
Normal life, what about you?"-
Me: phew.
Jeff: The mind will get you!
Jeff: 1
Me: what?
Jeff: 2
jeff: 3
--WhyAmIReadingThis has kicked Jeff out of the chat'—'
jeff: 4
Me: jeff are you ok?
Jeff: 5
Me: jeff???!!
jeff: SIX
jeff: THE MIND HAS GOT YOU!
I'll admit I half-expected this to end in a 666
Also this mind is clearly diseased; I want no mind of yours
Just then my chair spun round revealing that man I saw before. '"THERE IS NO ESCAPING THE MIND!!'"
You heard his breathing from under the bed and instead of getting the hell out of there you frolicked around the interwebs talking to a friend. You're the only one to blame, idiot protagonist
Then all of a sudden darkness consumed me......
Hey, just like any chance of this being an interesting read and/or an interesting log of my thoughts were consumed by the sheer 'I give no fucks' feeling that consumed me halfway through this story
HAVE A LOOK AT THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS PASTA. WHAT DOES IT SAY?
Ugh, if I do this last favor will I be allowed to leave? Okay, going to take a look...
00:25, December 15, 2013'‎ WhyAmIReadingThis (Talk | contribs)'‎ . . (2,267 bytes) (+2,267)
BUDDHA IN A BLUE WIG WHAT THE HELL
***
I have to confess I really forgot that I had uploaded this to the Trollpasta Wikia after I deleted it from the Creepypasta Wikia. Seeing my name linked to this dreadful thing was the biggest shock I had this week...so far.
And was definitely the only high point of the story and this review
Sorry people, if you expected something good, but this is all I have for this week. Blame this 55555 guy
Category:Rants
Category:Overused Running Gag
Category:Trollpasta