Tingle

Tingle was the adopted son of one of Hyrule's most renowned lawyers. Not only because of his great skill of winning every single lawsuit (By creeping out the gudge and gury) but also because of his ability to sing annoying songs in Haiku form for his opening statement. Instead of following in his fathers footsteps Tingle went into banking, his love of rupees and his effective methods of swindling or getting people to part with their money quickly earned him recognition by magazines and important hylian officials and leaders including King Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule and princess Zelda. He went on to become the personal banker of the royal family and when they were overthrown by the Gerudo revolutionary Ganondorf he was allowed to stay on in his position. Over the next 7 years Tingle managed to massivley expand hyrules economy making it possible for Ganondorf to make the much needed improvements to the land such as new fences,zombies and finishing construction of Kakariko villiage and the migration of people from the curruption of city life into this new villiage to lead simple pastoral lives. After the Evil kings defeat tingle was not seen again untill a few hundred years later where he was needed to raise funds for a giant wooden puppet in Ganon's new tower.
The only way to banish him back to fifth dimension is to make him say his name backwards, then forwards, then sideways, then on his head, then while drinking milk, then while winning a fight against Link, then while doing the disco.
He has become notorious for charging people too much money for small peices of paper, blowing Link and anyone else up, ruining games, and existing, which makes Tingle, not Ganondorf, the primary antagonist of, Windwaker, Majora's Mask, and the Four Sword redux.
Tingle also had an annoying habit of being able to transcend time and space to appear in various different time periods and universes in order to simply annoy the hell out of you. 
His last known friend was Link who also became his executioner, stabbing, bombing, shooting and driving over Tingle until he was within an inch of his life, after which he exposed him to a 48-hour marathon of The Smurfs, finally ending his life by driving a stake through his heart and firing upon him with the Death Star. Contrary to popular belief, Luke Skywalker didn't use an Imperial shuttle, but rather Tingle's balloon to escape to Endor. 
Link was the only person who attended Tingle's funneral, although the sole purpose of attending was to urinate on Tingle's grave.
Hundreds of years later, Tingle revived himself to re-steal the money Link re-stole from him, and to generally torment the world just by existing. 
Tingle currently holds the record for the most grease-covered-geese consumed in under 12 hours.
==Team Tingle==
Team Tingle is a team of fans for Tingle on the internet. These fans keep Tingle cool and breezy, which gives a sense of irony to those mislead by the term fan. 
Many think that Tingle is not cool, and that these fans delusion themselves into thinking that Tingle is cool. They think that either the fans are failing at blowing Tingle to coolness, or are in debt with Tingle, and are being forced to do this.
The fans think that Tingle is cool for the same reasons that the haters think Tingle isn't cool, he exists. 
==Legolas==
It's been under suspicion that Legolas and Tingle are somehow related, by the fourth law of Norris. A Local Tingle expert named Sartori published a paper that supports a widely held theory that Legolas is actually the female version of tingle. When asked about this allegation, Orlando Bloom responded "No comment". However, it has also been theorized that Tingle is in fact, Richard Simmons in light disguise.
== Association with durex ==
Tingle signed on for a 50 year contract with condom manufacturing company Durex, with his permission they created a brand new type of condom the Durex Tingle. Like tingles other merchandise these condoms are overpriced however people just cant seem to avoid buying them.
==Trivia==
*Despite what many think, Link is not Tingle's role model. It is, in fact, Navi. Because of this, Tingle believes that being annoying is a requirement for being a fairy.
*Tingle has no parents; Tingle created himself.
*The dark ages rein as long as Tingle lives.
*Tingle can inflict massive damage just by looking at you. Tingle inflicts mortal damage by speaking.
*When Ganon goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Tingle. When Tingle goes to sleep at night, he sleeps in his closet.
*Tingle is his own class of WMD. When Bush said Iraq had WMD, they really only had Tingle.
*Tingle once auditioned to be a character on Super Smash Bros, but after trying to rape Mario in the ear several times, he was disintegrated, only to revive himself for the next Zelda game.
*Tingle once auditioned to be a character on Super Smash Bros Melee, but after trying to rape Mario in the ear several times, he was demoted to a stage prop.
*Tingle once auditioned to be a character on Super Smash Bros Brawl, but after trying to rape Mario in the ear several times ONCE AGAIN, he was demoted to a really really awesome Assist Trophy.
*Tingle can revive himself from the dead as said above. This means that Tingle may be a messenger from the Golden Goddesses. For whatever reason, every time he comes with a message, it has something to do with fairies and magic words.
==See also== 
*Japan
*Weapons of Mass Destruction
Category:Assholes
Category:Magic
Category:Nintendo
Category:Things that God hates according to Fred Phelps