Cake is the Devil's Creation

Hello, I am Percy Parker, Today, I had an awful experience that causes my fear into a reality. The dessert that children love, is cake. You must tell your child to NEVER eat cake again.
==September 17, 2012==
Today my family got to move back to Auburn, Washington after living my whole life at Columbus, Ohio. My grandma has been sick for almost 4 months straight. We are moving at her house until she can recover.
I was playing some football throwing with my older brother, Terrence, until I saw the mailman walk pass by, and standing in front of our door. My mom opened the door, when the mailman said "Mrs. Parker, I came to give you this delivery to your mom, Emily Parker. Is she home?" Mom nodded her head and got the package. It was really thin, something like 3 x 4 I guess. We continued our game until the moon rose and me and Terrence went inside. The weird thing however, is my grandma sitting at her rocking chair, staring at a picture that came inside the box earlier, frightened. We brushed our teeth and went to sleep, until we heard a loud, low tuned voice screaming. My parents were carrying my grandma's body to the door.
Later, my mom texted me through her iPhone, telling me grandma passed away. She said the picture from the box caused the problem. She send me a picture of the picture, showing a white, chocolate cake with writing saying: You can't escape Emily! I will hunt YOU down, and your family.
==October 31, 2012==
I was asleep in my bed instead of trick-or-treating outside with laughing, scattering kids my age. My parents are going to my grandma's funeral, while I am stuck here without my brother, who is with my parents as well. I closed the window for no further distraction. But I heard a splat at the window, I peeked, and it was the cake from the photo. I screamed and opened my door to only see 4 more duplicate cakes! I jumped over them, went downstairs, dodges other crawling duplicates, rushed to the kitchen, and got a butcher knife. But behind me was another duplicate, catching the knife with its flat layer.
The cakes were getting close to me, scared to death, and surrounded in a corner. As soon as the cakes were close, I got cut by a cake who fell down with a knife, to stab me. However, I'll take that action as suicide, for as the cake went splat all over the floor. I grabbed the knife, and started cutting, I cut them one by one, until there was no more cakes in my sight.
I checked all over the house to see no more cakes, until a giant version of the duplicate was behind me, with a sword in its hands. "FINALLY, YOU SHALL PERISH ALONG WITH YOUR GRANDMOTHER, AND PROBABLY YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY! HAHAHAHA!" But then, I heard a gunshot, closing my eyes, and ducked. When I stood back up, I saw a hole through the cakes middle of the layer, with his eyes focusing on it. He falls down and a huge splat covers my entire house, breaking the windows, and the backyard door. My grandma is in front of me, with a shotgun, she puts the gun down, rushes to me to give me a hug. As I hug back, my parents and bro come back, surprised as they see me and my grandmother. 
==The Aftermath==
Listen, whether it's a birthday party, a wedding, an occasion, or just a plain party, do NOT get a cake for either of them. My life lesson is when you see a cake, use a butcher knife to stab it. Hopefully, you can do this to prevent any further attacks.
Until then, see you later, and the cake...is a lie.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:EVIL FOOD
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Category:Holidays