The princess is in another castle

A long time ago, in the sprawling cities of New York, were talks and fables of two particular men. They were vile, cruel, and extremely violent. Though rumors were denied when authorities were asked about the men, it was painfully obvious that they existed. And to break all the tangents, it happened.
One cold and rainy night, as the streets were mostly unlit and few cars roamed a small neighborhood, a large white van rolled up to an apartment complex. The driver and passenger stepped out.
A women who was identified as Sherli Peach, had just finished making supper for herself. She heard the door ring.
"Now who could possibly be ringing this late at night?" She asked herself, tolling her eyes and approaching the door. Opening it, the two men stood. Their eyes were dark, their faces wrinkling. Both had large stringy mustaches that flew as they spoke. Both wore blue overalls however the smaller man wore a red cap and shirt, and the taller one wore green.
"Hello ma'am," The small red man muttered, his accent flailing. Not looking straight at the man, she stuttered, "I-I'm alright, is there something I can help you with?" She asked.
The men pushed into the home and slammed shut the door.
"What the hell?!" She exclaimed, "Get out!"
The men laughed and the taller green one replied, "No... there's nothing you can do now, no help to provide, to us nor yourself."
"Now shut up!" The man pulled a small forest mushroom from his pocket and jammed it into her mouth.
Sherli started to slug.
Coldness bruited her. Darkness shrouded the environment. Her eyes slowly opened. Rotten smells shamed the air. It was the sewer.
The cold sewer watered made her feet shutter. She shook around but couldn't move as she was tied up. Then, the red man came out of the darkness, and in his hand, he held a small turtle.
Throwing it onto the ground, he jumped up, and with a snap blood coated the entire room as well as Sherli. "It's a me, Mario." He laughed, the green man walked behind him.
"And Me, Luigi." They harmonically spoke. And both began to be coated in a strong white blinding light.
Then their was silence. Then it appeared.
A large fowl reptile, spikes tiled its back shell. It's sharp teeth grinder as it stared down the prey before it. Sherli froze. It's eyes stared her down, dark reflection-less eyes.
"Princess..." it gargled as it jumped forward. Peach forced herself sideways with all her might, as it leaped towards her.
In luck the chair as well as the rope, broke.
Cutting the ribbon off her mouth with a piece of the broken chair, Sherli breathed very strongly.
"What the hell, this has to be a nightmare!!! I have to get out." She started running, almost slipping on the sewage. Looking back, the creature just stared.
She kept running, till she lost her breath again. But then she saw a step ladder in the distance, showered by fragmented light.
"There's the way our! It has to be!" Mightily, Sherli ran toward it, and climbed up. But as she did the reptile appeared below her and grabbed her leg. She pulled and pulled, then remembered the stick. Pulling it out, she plunged it into the reptiles eye, dark liquid spewed from it as it flew back.
She pelted herself out of the sewer.
"Your princess is in another castle!"
She covered the sewers hole.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Mario
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.