nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Cafe la Big Goddamn Monster

Oi lads, listen up! If ya in the Londis and take the B69 bus up to the statue of Mc Burberry, turn right and you will see this cafe called 'Look at the title moron.' On the front door, there'll be pentagram that smells of ball sweat and a sign that says this,
"Some dude drew a pentagram on me front door and smeared it with ball sweat. So now a bunch of Goddamn demons are here and will kill you as soon as you walk in. There is legit no escape, ain't being funny here mate, just don't fucking walk through the door, take the back so you don't fucking die."
Since I'm a hood mofo and don't listen to shit I walked right through there and fucking died.
Moral of the story? None you dumbass.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
Caillou's Big War

When I Was a Kid, I Loved Caillou. It was fun watching, But when I Discovered this creepy tape called Caillou's big War, It said it was a 60 Minute Movie, And the VHS Smelled Like Blood. I Inserted it in on the VCR, It started with the Caillou Intro, it was Normal. It started with Caillou playing with rosie, But Suddenly Caillou was annoyed by Rosie and Killed Rosie with a Shotgun, Doris came in and said:
Doris: WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Caillou: I Killed Rosie Because she was Too Annoying,
Boris: How dare you Kill Rosie! That's it! We are having a War!
Then Boris Got out a Machine Gun and Doris Got out a AK-47 and Doris shot caillou On the eyes
Caillou: That Hurts!! I Will Shoot you Back!
Caillou got out a Giant long Shotgun and Shot Boris On the Legs
Boris: OWWWWWWWOOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWOWOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL EXPLODE THIS HOUSE!!
Boris gets a rocket Launcher and Destroys the House
Doris: That's it!! I will Shoot Boris on the Heart!
Boris: OOWOWOWOWOWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THAT REALLY HURTS!!!!! I WILL SHOOT GRANDMA'S HOUSE!!!!
Boris Gets Out a Machine Gun and Shoots grandma's House
Grandma: WHAT DID THEY DO!!!! WE WILL EXPLODE A BOMB IN BORIS'S HOUSE!!!!
Grandma: Sets a Bomb and Explodes
Boris: Dies
Doris: KILLED MY HONEY!!!!!!! YOU WILL DIE!!!!
Doris Strangles Grandma
Grandma: Shoots A Rocket Launcher and Blows Doris's Head
Grandma: Take that you bitch!!
Grandpa: Take Down Leo's House!
Grandpa goes to leo's House and Blows up Leo's House
Leo: Gets a Giant Tank
Grandpa: Gets a Truck and Crashes Into Leo's Tank, and Leo dies because of explosion
Leo: I WILL- Dies
Clementine: You Killed Leo! You are also Gonna Die Shit!!!!
Clementine Blows Up Grandpa's truck and Dies
Caillou: You Killed Grandpa!!!! I Will Kill you Clementine!!!!
Miss Martin: No Caillou!
Miss Martin: Shoots Caillou with A Rocket Launcher and sets off caillou being blowed Up
Caillou: I Will- Presses Nuclear Bomb Button That he prepared for the war
Nuclear Bomb Aims Directly at miss martin
Miss Martin: Oh Cra-
Nuclear Bomb explodes and Burns the entire city, The Corpses have been turned into skeletons, and The Preschool was GONE. EVERYTHNG WAS GONE. Miss Martin and Clementine Also Died too, The Only Survivor in the city was Only Gilbert.
I Destroyed the VHS, The end.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Caillou's Brother

This is a lost episode of Caillou, it was supposed to be the first episode of season 2 of Caillou, the VHS was heavily edited and made it creepy, when me and my sister was about to watch the episode, it was called Caillou's Brother, when we put the VHS in, static came on the screen, and the intro music wasn't happy at all, it was all kinds of horror music, we just saw Caillou's house for 24 seconds, and the camera went inside the house, and we saw his brother in his bed, when he woke up he had white eyes with no pupils with BLOOD, and he got out of his bed and walked to the living room, and Rosie was in the room and Caillou's brother pushed Rosie against the wall and tons of blood came out of her back, and Caillou's mother was about to come into the living room, when Caillou's brother smashed a painting in her face, and Caillou's brother kills Caillou by using smoke in his room, and Caillou's brother kills Caillou's father by giving him a cup of coffee with poison in it, there was one more person to kill, he had to kill himself, he grabbed a revolver and shot himself in the forehead and the episode ended, after the credits, Caillou said ONE DAY I WILL KILL MY BROTHER AND EVERYONE IN THE WORLD WITH THIS SHARP KNIFE!!! And he killed his brother off camera and the show ended. When the VHS ejected, I smashed the VHS and I threw it in the bin, and the VHS was never seen again, and if you see that VHS, DON'T BUY IT AT ALL! btw the DVD was the same thing but was little more BLOODY Than the VHS.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
Caillou: Final Straw

Hello. My name is John. I'm going to tell you about the most horrific moment I had ever witnessed.
One day, when I walking home from my grandfather's house, I noticed a blank DVD case laying near the sidewalk. Inside was a single DVD. Neatly written in black sharpie was Caillou: Season 3 Episode 14. I found this odd because 3rd season of Caillou usually had 13 episodes.
Curious, I inserted the DVD into my PS3. There was no intro at all. Instead, it just went straight to the episode.  "Final Straw". I was confused, but at the same time shocked.
It opened with Caillou and his friends playing outside for possibly 5 minutes, until they heard air raids sound from somewhere nearby. At first, I thought it was an ambulance. Suddenly, Caillou and his friends started to run away in panic.
A minute later, there was a flash of light followed by an explosion  which engulfed the entire city, similar to the 1983 anime war film, Barefoot Gen. I watched in horror as Leo, Clementine, and Sarah were incinerated from the blast. This was where things got worse. It panned to show cars that had been turned over, while locations like the playgrounds, Garage, Caillou's school, and even the library lay in ruins. The next scene showed Mr. Hinkle crawling on the road, moaning in pain. The lower half of his body was missing and he was covered in burns. Later, it showed Jason crying over Jeffrey's death. After the scene ended, it switched to Caillou's house. The fires had mostly burned out. The camera then zoomed into Caillou's basement. Apparently, the basement acted like a fallout shelter. In the room were Caillou, Rosie, Julie, Billy, Miss Martin, and Jonas. 
"I wish my Mommy and Daddy were here." Caillou said.
A few seconds later, it showed Caillou's Grandma mourning over Caillou's Grandpa's death. I could tell he was obviously killed in the explosion.
The scene then went back to Caillou's House.
Caillou then turned on the radio and there was the voice of The narrator. She sounded more scared than she was in all of the episode of the show. She said:
"Breaking News! It appears that someone has fired a missile armed with plutonium onto our town. For your information, plutonium is a powerful substance which can result in death if used carelessly. We still don't know who is responsible, but we'll find out in the future. I'm off."
We then see Caillou's hand turn off the radio, and the episode ends.
I was horrified at what I saw. I mean, Why the hell would they make an episode like this in a kids tv show?
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Featured Pastas
Category:Trollpasta
Caillou: The Lost Footage

Does anybody remember that show "Caillou"? It has been airing episodes since 1997 and it has been known to be one of the worst kids shows of all time. Why you ask, because it shows Caillou throwing temper tantrums and being mean to his little sister Rosie. But, what you may not know is that there is an unaired version of the show. It wasn't seen by anyone except the PBS Kids company, to which they found that the footage was too dark and disturbing that they refused to air it to the public.
It starts off with the musical theme song, but something was off about it. The quality was really bad and the audio sounded very distorted. After that, it goes straight to the episode. The beginning of it shows Caillou playing with his toys in his room. Until when Rosie comes into his room, asking if Caillou would play with her. Caillou then starts yelling at Rosie, telling her to go away. But, Rosie didn't seem to respond to what his big brother was saying to her. Caillou then got even angrier and then starts beating up Rosie. He was punching and kicking her violently. As he did that, Rosie then starts bleeding a bit as well as getting bruises on her.
This lasted for about 15 minutes. Until Caillou's parents walk into the bedroom, only to see that Caillou was beating up his little sister Rosie. His dad then yelled, "That's it, I am calling the police on you! You little bastard!" Caillou then stops and slowly turned his head towards his parents in a very creepy way. He then leaped onto his dad and starts biting his skull. His dad then starts screaming loudly in pain. Then, Caillou ripped open his dad's skull and starts eating his brains.
Then, the screen had cut to static for about eight minutes or so. The episode came back with Caillou and his mother in the living room. It shows his mother slowly backing away from her son. As she said, "Caillou, why are you doing this!? It's just not like you!"
Caillou then said, "Shut up you stupid lady! You are going to die whether you like it or not!"
He then grabs a gun from a shelf and starts shooting his mother from head to toe. She then dies quickly from the loss of blood. The screen had all of a sudden cut to static for a good five minutes. Then, the episode came back with Caillou staring at the viewers with an evil expression on his face. His eyes were a glowing red and his teeth were as sharp as knives. This lasted for a long time, until the episode ends with no credits. Instead it ended with loud static.
The tape of the episode was found in an old shed at the producer's house. So, if you find this tape, please contact the authorities.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Caillou Gets Grounded 6 Feet Under

Gilbert: Your sins have been measured, Caillou. Now, I being the judgement of all those you have slain. Your demented crusade ends here.
Caillou: Oh, I don't think so, cat.
Suddenly, hands rise up from the earth and grasp tightly onto Caillou, the claws digging deep into his flesh.
Caillou: What are you doing? STUPID CAT!
Gilbert: I'm doing what should have been done a long time ago.
Caillou: YOU FUCKING WHORE!
Gilbert: Unlike your parents, I actually have some sense in my head. So, I have decided it would be best if you were grounded.
Caillou: GROUNDED?!
The hands drag Caillou down into the earth, only for the ground to split apart and reveal a molten burning horror underneath.
Gilbert: I believe that burying you along with all your memories will give me some closure.
Caillou: NO! GILBERT, I GIVE YOU REASON! I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING! MONEY! FAME! POWER! IMMORTALITY! PLEASE!
Gilbert: The darkest pits of hell have opened up to swallow you whole. Don't keep the Devil waiting, old friend.
Caillou: IXFNLQJ VWXSLG FDW L ZLOO IXFNLQJ HQG BRX L VKDOO QRW EH GHIHDWHG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
The ground swallows him and places a grave upon him that reads "RIP U SPOILED ASS HOLE".
Gilbert: The evil is defeated. Hey, Rexy, let's get wasted!
(Meanwhile at the annual Bald Society...)
Saitama: So, is Caillou coming or not?
BHD: How the fuck should I know?
Category:Trollpasta
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Memes
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
Caillou Lost Episode

It was my brother's birthday. He liked Caillou, so I got him a DVD from ebay. He went upstairs and watched it, while I watched SpongeBob on Nickelodeon downstairs. 
After the episode ended he came down crying and told me "Caillou is evil, and he killed his family and scared me! I don't like him anymore!". I then put on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for him while I went to watch it.
The episode began with the early intro with Caillou holding baby Rosie when he was 2. The odd thing was instead of saying "That's me", he said "Not me". I shrugged it off and the episode had no title. Caillou's mom came back from the store.
"Did you get me my toy?" Asked Caillou. His mom replied "Sorry, but they were sold out". Caillou then threw a fit. I laughed as he did this. I thought "Why would he be scared of this?" 
Then Caillou screamed "NO! I WANTED THAT FUCKING TOY AND I NOW I WILL NOT GET IT! FUCK YOU JIZZ MOM! FUCK YOU JIZZ DAD! I WILL KILL YOU AND EAT YOU AFTER I KILL EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD! FUCK YOU COCKSUCKING, CUNT, SLUT, BITCH, CRAP, JIZZ, SHIT, FUCKERS!". The mom and dad were horrified and told Caillou "THAT'S PROFANITY! NOW YOU WILL NEVER GET THAT TOY, EVEN IF YOU BEHAVE! NOW TO GO BAD EARLY, OR I WILL CALL THE COPS ON YOU!"
Then Caillou closed his eyes and opened them revealing bloodshot eyes! He then went and bit his mom. He then got an AK-47 and shot his mom and dad. He then got a bomb and blew up his home. Then he killed Rosie and Gilbert. He then blew himself up with a nuke. Then a copyright date said ©1999 Cinar, followed by the logo. 
I then destroyed the DVD. My brother now hates Caillou.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Excessive Profanity
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Caillou Series Finale

I was watching Caillou episodes on YouTube to see how stupid the show is. I was trying to find the first episode after I saw a bit of it. I was trying to find the last episode, and a found a video of it. The episode was called "Caillou Gets Drunk". It still has the normal theme song, but there was no grandmother reading the story to her grandchildren. It just went to the story immediately.
Caillou was 14 years old in the episode. It began in Caillou's car. His mom, Doris puts the radio on and it show a Coca-Cola advert. The advert made him thirsty, so he asked his mom, "Can I have a drink?" His mom stops in a shop. Caillou gets five beers and rips off five Coca-Cola labels and puts them on the beers. His mom buys the drinks and they go home.
Their house wasn't their normal house. Caillou was on his computer. His computer password is, "ROSIE IS AN F-WORDING B***H". Caillou thought that was funny. When he was typing the password, his dad, Boris, noticed the password was different. His dad told him to tell his password, but he was too scared. When his dad noticed, he was in big trouble and he got grounded.
Then Caillou went sneaking out of the house and grabbed his beers, got in his car and was pissing. His driving was bad that he even made some cars crash. He was also drinking his beers when he was driving. Once he was drinking his fifth beer, he was losing control and crashed. He crashed into a Walmart. As there were product placements in this episode, there was blood all around him. His head was so cracked open you could even see his brain. A funeral for Caillou was held.
The episode's credits were normal, but the music was like you're leaving forever or something is ending forever. I was happy Caillou died, so happy that I copied and pasted the link to a broadcast message. Well, goodbye, dear reader.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Caillou Theory

Have you ever wondered why so many things in Caillou are red? Well, I have TWO THEORIES! WOW!!!
A) Caillou's mom is 'leaking' all over the place (heh heh heh.) This would mean that it's more than 1x a month this happens, unless they never clean the house (possible, because they're from a foreign country.) This means she's an alien, so Caillou is an alien. This explains why he's bald. Also b/c he's the brother of hyperrealistic evil Patrixx?
B) It's all hyper-realistic blood from Caillou's older brother. Caillou is assembled from his older brother's organs. THIS IS WHY HE'S FUCKING BALD!!!!
The End.
Category:THERY
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta
Caillous suicide

you know that show called caillou,well this will shock you also now to me its not a kids show (i will not reveal my name for security reasons just call me b)so i was babysitting my four little cousins and they loved caillou and well i hated it. earlier i got a caillou disc that showed episodes so when they saw what i had they were happy i wasnt. anyways i put the disc in and it played pretty normal although when the fifth episode played thats when things went creepy.i looked up and saw the title it said caillou's suicide i then thought must be a joke. the episode started normal caillou woke up and wanted to play with his parents so he went to his mom he asked her if she wanted to play,but she was working and said no caillou was upset but he thought his dad would play.so then he went to his dad his dad was working on stuff that I could not see two caillou was upset alot sadly he couldnt play with rosy because she was at her grandparents. caillou was crying in his room and the narrator explained his thoughswhich were really creepy and nasty for a kids show. so caillou went to his parents room and found a gun. he went back to his room when his parents came in the room caillou had the gun aimed at his head and he shot himself with blood splattering on his parents. it then shifts scenes to caillous funeral whichthe narrator sounded like she was screaming and dying and then the last part showed the narrators body dead with a man near the episode ended there and i took the disc out.my little cousins were scared and crying. my parents got home and asked what happened i showed them the episode and i got rid of it destroyed it,but it haunts me to this day.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Wall of Text
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Suicide
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
Calimore

Before I start to tell you this, I want you to know why I'm doing this. I'm doing this because we need it. No not you, but her and I. You see, about four months ago, I met the most wonderful girl. She was athletic, spunky, sort of strange, and well, just downright gorgeous. She told me a story that only I and my viewers could know. It was the story of how she became who she is, and I shall tell the story in her perspective.
I was only five when it happened, my mom and I were on our way home, when it hit us with a force so powerful, our car flipped. I went into shock and passed out. When I awoke, I was in a hospital, I was nude except for my legs down, with multiple cuts and gashes all over my body. I tried to move, but I felt weak and couldn't do anything, so I fell asleep. When I awoke again, I was home but covered with bandages. My dad was on the bed, watching the television that was set in the room. I made a movement and my dad turned with a look of relief when he saw me.
He said, "Honey, you're awake! Finally!" I tried to talk but it felt like something was holding my vocals down, so I grunted. He shuddered as if I told him something that he didn't want to hear. He turned back to the television and looked at it, motioning me to look as well, so I did, it was a newscast of my crash. There was a dead woman lying in the front seat, she looked as if her body had been chewed to shreds. My dad was crying at the scene.
This time I felt I could talk, so I squeaked, "What is it? Did you know her?" He slowly turned to me, but he had a blank expression as if he was void of life. I tried moving, thinking it would be hard, it was remarkably easy. I got up and looked behind Dad.
It was a creature of unnatural looks, he had no face, not like 'Slenderman' because there was no head. I shrieked and scooted back, it moved slowly to me, my dad fell down face-first. The being raised its hand, it was babyish to look at. When I cowered, it lowered its hand. Then it spoke. Now I know that's physically impossible having no head, but it did.
It said, "You, you can see me?"
"Yes, can people not normally see you?"
"No, WAIT! I know you, you're who they're after! Come on, we have to run."
"Why?" I whimpered.
"Because you are cum oculos nocte."
I don't know what he meant, but he then carried me for what seemed like ages. When we stopped, he said we had arrived at the location. Where I would be safe. I've been living there since then.
Well there you have it. My girlfriend's story and if you haven't guessed who I am, I'm the headless being. My name is Calimore, and I am her protector.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Beings
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Old Shit