Rick Perry

James Richard "Rick" Perry, aka Governor Goodhair,
According to Molly Ivins aka Governor Oops is the former Republican governor of the State of Texas who ran for the presidency twice and failed to get the nomination both times but got to be Secretary of Energy from 2017 to 2019 as a consolation prize. He was Governor of Texas from 2000 when he was appointed to succeeded George W. Bush, until 2014 when his Attorney General Greg Abbott succeeded him. He was one of the contenders for the Republican nomination in the 2012 presidential election but dropped out on January 19th and endorsed Newt Gingrich.The Caucus:Perry to End Bid for Presidency
Rick Perry is an amorphous political animal. Before he was a conservative hate-monger in Texas, he was as blue a Democrat as there ever was. He supported Al Gore during the 1988 Presidential race but was not, as commonly stated, his campaign manager (that has its origins in a 1998 attack ad by a Democratic then-opponent of his).W. Gardner Selby (September 7th, 2011): "The legend of Al Gore and Rick Perry", PolitiFact. One thing you can bet on is that Rick Perry will do what is good for Rick Perry, even if it means killing innocent people.
Perry is the sort of guy we can trust to run the Energy Department as scrupulously, fairly, and honestlyMother Jones: Rick Perry's Top ControversiesDallas News: Murky land deals mark Gov. Rick Perry's pastLA Times: Gov. Rick Perry's big donors fare well in Texas as he ran his home state of Texas. Which is a scary thought, indeed. He has a love for oil bordering on fetishistic.
==Rick Perry's insatiable bloodlust==
By 2014, Perry had presided over 278 executions, the most of any modern governor.http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/death_row/dr_executed_offenders.html Second place goes to George W. Bush, who's not even a contender, with 152.Rick Perry loves executing people. He also vetoed a bill prohibiting the execution of mentally handicapped people.Rick Perry on Crime
In just one high-profile case, that of an alleged arson by Cameron Willingham, Perry, worrying more about political expenditure and his image of being "hard" on crime than someone else's life on the line, called the evidence anti-death penalty propagandaGrant, J. (2011) Denying Science. "Chapter 2: The Law is a Ass". p.66. Prometheus Books. ISBN 978-1-61614-399-2 and went forward with the execution even though the defendant's lawyers produced evidence indicating that the investigation had been seriously flawed.The New Yorker: Trial by Fire The prosecution relied heavily on the evidence of a fellow prisoner who later changed his story. Five years later, Perry interfered with the workings of a state panel investigating the case by dismissing several commissioners on the eve of some crucial testimony, raising accusations of a cover-up.TPM: Evidence Builds That Perry's Office Pressured Panel On Willingham ProbeSentencing Law and Policy: Texas Governor Perry disrupts panel looking into Willingham capital case
More recently, Perry allowed the execution of Mexican national Humberto Leal García, despite serious flaws in the prosecution. Notably, García was not informed that he had the right to consular support which is guaranteed under international law. His US-assigned attorney missed out on challenging the prosecution's key evidence and presenting mitigating factors, while the Mexican embassy could have provided a professional legal defense but did not learn of the trial until after the conviction. Perry apparently feared that killing a man who didn't deserve the conviction delaying the execution might alienate Republicans in the run-up to his presidential campaign.http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2011/jul/08/rick-perry-texas-lealhttp://www.humbertoleal.org/
==Rick Perry and the wacko Christian right==
Perry's preferred way of dealing with problems is apparently to pray them away, although his success rate leaves a lot to be desired. When Texas was hit by a severe drought in the spring of 2011, Perry's reaction was to proclaim a three-day "Prayer for Rain", personally taking charge by leading several public prayer sessions himself. In a predictably sadistic fashion, God responded by turning the heat up, and the drought and wildfires continued to devastate Texas farmlands all through the summer.NYT: Rick Perry’s Unanswered Prayers Never one to be dissuaded by such minor setbacks, Perry made his personal relationship with his god a cornerstone of his nascent presidential campaign. When asked how he would go about fixing the nation's numerous problems, he responded:
In August 2011, shortly before kicking off his 2012 campaign, Perry attempted to put his plan into practice by organizing a huge prayer event ("The Response") in Houston. Apart from raising concerns about the separation of church and state, this event was also notable for featuring a number of extremist evangelical pastors, including old favorites like David Barton and members of the American Family Association.Salon: Extremist pastor signs on to Perry prayer eventRight Wing Watch: Fact Sheet: Gov. Rick Perry’s Extremist Allies This time, God's response to The Response came in the form of a massive stock market crash. Oh, Yahweh, you silly guy, you.
It seems like Perry's not quite over his problem with pandering to evangelical fucknuts at every turn; he's recently opined (in a conference call with the equally happy-go-lucky Rick Scarborough) that "spiritual warfare" is necessary to combat the very idea of separation of church and state because some dude with a pitchfork and horns is apparently the one behind the conceptRick Perry: 'Christian Warriors' must use 'Spiritual Warfare' against 'Satanic' Separation of Church and State, Right Wing Watch and not the actual framers of the Constitution.
==New Apostolic Reformation==
Perry has ties to the New Apostolic Reformation, a bunch of Pentecostals who seem hell-bent on turning America into a theocracy."Rick Perry's Army of God" Rick Perry's prayer rallies were organized by (arguably) this crazy New Apostolic Reformation. They also have apparent connections to Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin. Oh, and they think Oprah Winfrey might be the Antichrist.
==Treason==
On at least two separate occasions, Perry has argued that Texas has the right to secede from the union and suggested that he might be prompted to follow through with it.CNN Politics: Texas governor says secession possiblePolitico: Rick Perry critics unearth another secession comment Perry has repeatedly associated himself with neo-Confederate groups, received support from them, and campaigned for preserving Confederate monuments.Salon: Rick Perry's Confederate past While the rest of the country would probably rejoice if Perry and his followers buggered off and constrained their madness to their own state, it's still treasonous and illegal to attempt to break up the union.
In August 2011, in comments aimed at then-Federal Reserve boss Ben Bernanke, Perry declared that printing more cash (known as quantitative easing) was "treasonous in [his] opinion" and suggested that Bernanke had better stay out of Texas, lest he come to harm.http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-14553127 Even his Republican colleagues found those remarks a little unpresidential.Politico: Bushies slam Rick Perry's Ben Bernanke commenthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/19/bruce-bartlett-rick-perry-bernanke_n_931334.html
==Strong==
During Perry's 2011 campaign to become a Republican Presidential nominee, he released "Strong",Rick Perry – "Strong" (video) a video espousing his view of important matters for America. Was this the ongoing war in the Middle East? The poverty faced by average Americans? The economy? Jobs? Nope; it was all about where you stick your giggle-stick and how you can't force children to pray in school. In an America where as many as a quarter of the people may not actually identify as "Christian" and where the majority do support same-sex marriage, this has been almost universally considered to be out of touch and plainly bigoted. Just to show there's no out-of-context bullshit here, this is the full transcript of the standalone message:
The video quickly became one of the most disliked on YouTube, ranking alongside the likes of Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber for downvotes.Huffington Post – Rick Perry's 'Strong' Ad Surpasses Rebecca Black's 'Friday' With More Dislikes On YouTube (VIDEOS) A host of parodies appeared to take the piss even further. One asking what other unpopular opinions Perry heldRick Perry's Unpopular Opinions and one cartoon by YouTuber DarkMatter2525 effectively translating it into what he actually meant.DarkMatter2525 Really Really STRONG (Really)
It's probably worth letting George Takei have the last word on that one.
==Racism==
During his non-campaign to be Archbishop of God's Only Party, Politico released a photo of a hand-painted sign posted at the entrance of Perry's hunting camp. Apparently, the not-racist-one-bit Perry family hunted at a camp known as "Niggerhead Ranch". Perry claimed that the sign was already there when he started leasing the land in 1983 and that he ordered it painted over the moment he decided to run for political office laid eyes on it. Seems his underlings took the better part of thirty years to get round to this chore, and Perry never followed up.http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2011/10/rick_perry_niggerhead.php He could have just rickrolled that thing outta there. It's kinda hard to quantify what is the worst aspect of this story: the fact that Rick didn't personally, immediately paint over the offensive sign the instant he saw it back in 1983 or that the discovery of the sign didn't seem to have much of an effect on his chances in the race.
In 2014, Perry argued that Cliven Bundy's blatant racism was irrelevant; it was his property rights that mattered (claims to Federal property that courts repeatedly decided he had no right to use). A Perry minion later said that Perry thought that Bundy's racist remarks were reprehensible.Rick Perry Dismisses Question About Nevada Rancher's Racist Remarks by Hunter Walker (Apr. 24, 2014, 10:13 AM) Business Insider.
In 2015, Perry argued that Dylann Storm Roof's cold-blooded slaying of 9 African Americans in a historic South Carolina civil-rights church was not motivated by racism and that it wasn't his easy access to guns that mattered but his illegal drug use.Rick Perry: Drugs Caused Charleston Slaying, Not Racism, Not Guns by Justin Lane (June 19, 2015) Ring of Fire. Roof's racist manifesto, as well as racist photos that featured Roof, were revealed the very next day after Perry shot his mouth off.Dylann Storm Roof Photos and a Manifesto Posted on Website by Frances Robles (June 20, 2015) New York Times
==Pseudoscience-pushing==
Perry's wingnuttery wouldn't be complete, of course, without a generous dash of anti-science in the form of creationism and more. In fact, he hand-picked the now-notorious creationist dentist Don McLeroy to serve on the Texas State Board of Education and then appointed another creationist when he was voted out.Rick Perry: The Most Successful Creationist Governor in America, Little Green Footballs. Also not surprising: McLeroy was an advocate for abstinence-only sex education. On the campaign trail, Perry officially endorsed presenting creationism as a viable alternative to evolution in state schools:
The Washington Post's Fact-Checker has granted Perry its Pinocchio award to indicate exactly how reliable he is on global warming.Rick Perry's Made Up Facts About Climate Change. Note the citation of the Oregon Petition. On that front, he calls it "all one contrived phony mess that is falling apart under its own weight".Rick Perry to Delight Climate Sceptics by Running for President, The Guardian He also subscribes to a climate science conspiracy:
Under the Perry administration, the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality erased climate-related references in one of its reports.Perry Officials Censored Climate Report, Mother Jones
==Legislative hijinks on behalf of wingnuts the unborn==
In June 2013, the Texas legislature attempted to pass an omnibus abortion bill that would tightly restrict abortions in Texas; the law was on its way to passing (despite receiving "help" in the way of a bizarre statement from state Representative Jodie Laubenberg, who claimed that an exception for rape and incest was unnecessary since "rape kits" could get a woman "cleaned out")Texas GOP Rep On Abortion: Women Get 'Cleaned Out' With 'Rape Kits', Talking Points Memo until state Senator Wendy Davis staged a filibuster in order to prevent it from being passed by the midnight legislative adjournment deadline.In Texas, a Senator's Stand Catches the Spotlight, New York Times The bill failed despite Davis' filibuster being ended by a rules vote due to vocal intervention by protestors in the galleryTexas Abortion Bill Fails After Challenge, Talking Points Memo and despite some additional chicanery concerning a timestamp on the actual vote.[Gawker.com: archive.is, web.archive.org Internet Catches Texas Senate Altering Timestamp on Abortion Bill Vote,] Gawker Perry – who is nothing if not a persistent brand of wingnut – immediately called for a special legislative session to pass the billPerry calls special session for Texas legislature, CNN.com and made predictably condescending noises that Davis "hasn't learned from her own example" of being a teenage mother.Perry: ‘Unfortunate’ Davis ‘Hasn’t Learned From Her Own Example’ About Being A Teenage Mom, Talking Points Memo To her credit, Davis only called Perry a breaker of legislative rules and not just a complete idiot despite ample proof.Wendy Davis: Rick Perry Has 'Made A Mockery' Of Texas' Rules, Huffington Post
In 2014, he surprisingly endorsed decriminalizing marijuana and states' rights to legalize (or criminalize) abortion and same-sex marriage, saying "then people will decide where they want to live."http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/01/23/perry-marijuana-davos/4803929/
==Lack of future in politics==
Perry announced his retirement from the gubernatorial position in Texas (cue cheers from the whole of Texas) ... and served out the rest of his term before stepping down (cue boos from the whole of Texas). In 2014, wingnut Greg Abbott was elected to succeed Perry (cue even louder boos from the whole of Texas).
On June 4, 2015, Perry launched his 2016 U.S. presidential campaignWeissert, Will; Peoples, Steve. Rick Perry announces 2016 bid, a re-do from 2012. Associated Press. 4 June 2015. Retrieved on 29 July 2015. With the rise of Donald Trump and troubles with money,http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/08/11/us-usa-election-perry-idUSKCN0QG1DA20150811 however, his campaign quickly fell on shaky ground. On September 11, 2015, he dropped out of the race.Peoples, Steve. Rick Perry first to exit 2016 Republican presidential race. Associated Press. 11 September 2015. Retrieved on 11 September 2015.
==All aboard the Trump train==
Rick Perry was subsequently named by then-President-elect Donald Trump as his nominee for Secretary of Energy. And it was not the least bit terrifying that the guy responsible for nuclear weapons, who was replacing the former chair of the MIT Department of Physics, was an animal science major with a D in a class called "Meats". Perry's nomination has got to be the equivalent of Trump giving his stubby middle finger to the world because Perry famously could not remember the third department he wanted to eliminate during a 2011 presidential debate, this department turned out to be the Department of Energy; oops!Trump taps former Texas Gov. Rick Perry to head Energy Department he once vowed to abolish by Juliet Eilperin and Steven Mufson (December 14, 2016) The Washington Post Perry dropped out of the presidential race shortly after that gaffe.
As Energy Secretary, Perry was identified as one of the "three amigos" assigned to pressure Ukraine in an attempt to get them to investigate Trump's political rivals.Philip Ewing, White House Reportedly Replaced Ukraine Policy Staff With 'Three Amigos' NPR, 15 October 2019. Press reports suggested that Perry was looking to exit the Trump administration before the end of 2019, (doing so in December)Ben Lefebvre and Theodoric Meyer, Energy Secretary Rick Perry eyeing exit in November(doing so on in December). Politico, 3 October 2019. and will likely spend his retirement enjoying subpoenas and answering questions about his role in the Trump-Ukraine scandal.Rick Perry informs Trump of his plans to resign as scrutiny over Ukraine heats up. CNN, 17 October 2019.Melissa Block, How Rick Perry Became A Key Figure In The Trump Impeachment Probe. NPR, 24 October 2019.
==See also==
*Greg Abbott: Perry's Attorney General and another source of state-wide queasiness
*Ted Cruz: His former Solicitor General
==External links==
*Theocracy Watch: Gov. Rick Perry
*Niggerhead. *facepalm*
*Take care, Rick.
*Really Really STRONG (Really) – a parody of Rick Perry's infamous "Strong" ad by DarkMatter2525
==References==
Category:2012 US Presidential candidates
Category:2016 US Presidential candidates
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