Trip to Italy Goes Wrong

For starters, a small introduction: I am a young Japanese man; I like 80s' manga and western rock music, and some people have called me bizarre more than once. I am a huge fan of Italy, and I often dream of the places I would visit if I ever went there. At first, I was a little paranoid of going since the local mafia is very active and on my last trip I had to deal with a blonde man in drag and a buff high school kid screeching at the top of their lungs at each other, but I figured out that there wouldn't be many chances of actually getting hurt there. So I made up my mind, and decided to visit Italy for my next trip. I could take my mind away from the recent chain of disappearances in my town and the accident in which a man was run over by an ambulance.
The moment I got off the airport, I saw a midget running around the place and some blonde boy doing a gross trick with his ear, so I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy, and things only got worse further into the trip. The sight of a boy in a suit that looked like cheese stabbing a young girl in the face with a fork inside a restaurant while a goth pissed into a tea kettle made me second-guess my decision of coming here. There was a car erratically driving that almost caused a crash, and upon closer inspection the driver's seat was empty; it reminded me of an eerie traffic accident that took a senator's life two years ago, but I couldn't do much other than stare cofused at the vacant seat. On the train from Naples to Florence a sudden sense of fatigue washed over me out of nowhere; I felt like I was several years older, and then I lost consciousness, only to wake up later to the sound of a woman screaming. In that very same train, I could almost feel like there was some kind of creature making its way around, but it must have been the result of the anxiety I had been feeling so far.
Florence left me no less anxious than my previous stops. I came across another bad driver, this time parked in the middle of the highway while ranting menacingly about a leaf in a book or something like that; hearing his voice made chills run down my spine. I also came across a gay couple having oral sex on a bench. I was getting more uneasy by every passing moment, so I decided I would just get over with the trip as soon as possible; coming here was a mistake.
While I originally wanted to spend some time in Venice (or was it Venezia? Eh, who cares?), I wanted to get away from there as soon as possible after I saw a trio of gangsters beating a salaryman into a bloody pulp, and I skipped Sardinia entirely because of the rumors surrounding a village that burned down years ago; after everything I had gone through I could tell going there was a terrible idea. I just wanted to get my trip over with, but I still really wanted to see the Colosseum, otherwise I would have felt like coming to Italy was a total waste of time and money. I went to Rome by plane; even though I had already spent a very large sum of money, there was no way I would board a ship after hearing rumors about a zone in the ocean where blood-curling noises could be heard and boats mysteriously disappeared. There was something seriously wrong with Italy.
On the airplane, I sat next to a young man playing with a little girl; I could have sworn that I saw a strange shadow from the airplane's window, but I decided to ignore it for my sanity's sake. I decided to watch the news in order to take my mind off all of this insanity, only to come across an article that made me feel extremely paranoid once I started reading; a fishing village near Rome had just been infected by a strange bacteria outbreak that ate people's flesh. The gruesome images in the article showed the streets littered with corpses, which looked like they had fallen apart and were bathed in a disgusting green substance that made me feel intense fear just by looking at it. I was terrified by the time I got off the plane and had to set foot into Rome. I actually felt a little calmer after a while; everything in Rome seemed to be pretty normal, other than a strange flash of light that sometimes came out of the Colosseum. But as I made my way over there, the worst of my fears became true: I saw an eerie green mist fall from the sky as people around me all started to scream in agony, covered in the same green mold that was found on the dead villagers. I bent over to vomit from the stress, but the moment I did that, the mold started growing on me. The pain was so intense I had to lean into a wall, helplessly watching the mold eating at my flesh and seeing the city devolve into utter chaos as everyone started screaming in pain and fear while their bodies broke down. The last things I saw before blacking out were a naked man swimming in the street and the same gay couple from Florence embracing eachother in an extemely homoerotic position.
I thought I was dead. I thought I had succumbed to the strange infection, but before I knew it, I was awake. I was terrified, and wanted nothing more than to go back home. I started to get up in panic, but I couldn't lift myself. I looked down to see what was wrong, and I was greeted with the sight of paws. Dog paws. I had turned into a dog. I broke down in tears, wishing that I could just wake up from this twisted nightmare my brain had conjured. But I stayed in the body of a dog, staring at my very own human body running around like an actual dog. Some of the people around me behaved like animals and babies; I could tell that I wasn't the only one who was afflicted with this curse. I was lost, not knowing what I should do, and I wondered if there was any way in which this situation could have turned worse. There was. I saw the people and animals around me morph into incomprehensible creatures straight from the mind of H.P. Lovecraft after a bad acid trip, with alien tentacles and disfigured eyes protruding from every surface. I closed my eyes.
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I WOKE UP FEELING SO HORNY.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep