YOU COCKMONKEY 2

You sir are a stupid dumb**** who doesn't deserve a dick. Unless you are a girl then you don't deserve your pussy. Please go replace your pancreas with a bowling ball and skydive into into man-eating animal infested waters wherein you survive without a dick, without a sphincter, without an ear, or even your nutsack. Or better yet, thread a needle with a string, then dip it in saltwater and jam it through your testicles, then put the same exact string in both of your eyeballs where it will mold and cause you to go blind. So then you will need a seeing eye dog named Butch who will chew on your infected nutsack every day for the rest of your life. When you get him to lick the peanut butter off, he'll somehow manage to choke on your tiny little shaft. Then he will die causing you to cry out of your blind eyes and you will be left helpless crying for your dead testy chewing dog in the street while you are mowed down by a guy in a powder blue Prius and live in pain for exactly 666 minutes before you die finally exiling you to hell. THEN (no i am NOT done) Satan's minions will chew out your kidneys and stuff them in your ass that doesn't have a sphincter then when you talk you will sound like Al Quaeda and be pelted with rocks everywhere you go until you are hated enough to be let into the tenth chamber of hell where your immortal soul will burn for tens of hundreds of thousands of centuries without any **** breaks until you ****ing explode and guts go everywhere and your wife (who is not missing you at all cause she's ****ing your cousin Steve) gets hit with your gay ass bowling ball pancreas and she dies and also goes to Hell to be raped by lava demons, where she'll get her **** burned off for eternity, but your soul goes to Super Hell where they convert you to a cat ****ing atheist with no liver and then they will torture you with your dead dog butch's soul and he will chew the remaining pieces of your infected nutsack off until he is forced to chew off your entire dick and shove it down your throat. You'll choke, die, and got to Extreme Hell and have your dick replaced with Hitler's dick and then they send you back up to Earth where you find a sign sticking out of your head that says 'I have Hitler's nuts!' And then when Jews read it they will get their dogs to chew out your new balls and rip off your face and then you die and go to Butch Hell and 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 Butch clones chew your balls for ever and ever and ever! Eventually one of the clones will eat your last bit of nutsack off and you will be crying from so much pain that they kick you out of Butch hell and send you back to Earth where you are forced live in an apartment with over 9,000 gay people in New Jersey until Richard Simmons breaks in your house through your toilet and forces you to do hours and hours of dancing to the oldies. And just when you think it's all over, Carrot Top comes over to do some prop comedy for you. Then, after breaking your leg, a giant koala bear breaks in through your window and chews the other off. Then you, laying there, legless Pedobear breaks in through your shower and pokes a hole in your cheek which he sticks his wang in until there's a huge meteor shower which rips through your body, and leaves you alive to feel nothing but pain and suffering. All other human beings are dead but yourself, and you can't move. Your only food comes from the occasional cockroach that climbs in through a hole in your cheek (that Pedobear made from poking you so much) and walks down close enough to your throat so you can swallow and the cum you got from Pedobear raping you. Then 30 years later, bunch of ass robot-pirate-bears come for you and start poking even more holes in your body 'till you bleed to death and go back to Butch hell where you belong. Then when the Butch clones want nothing to do with you (because one of them ate your testicles off) please skin yourself with a rusty pizza cutter then pour chew tobacco and alcohol all over yourself, shove a rake up your butt and make yourself an anus just to pull it back out and tie it around a stalagmite in which you hang yourself on, then hollow out the inside of your dick and wrap the outer skin around your lips the piss and cum stream going into your mouth, stick needles in your eyeballs and **** up your nose then stick a dagger into both your eardrums and scalp yourself, put a nail on your skull then hit it with a hammer multiple times then tear your jaw off its hinge and nail it to your chin, stretch your uvula out of your mouth then wrap it around your face, cut your face down to the bone and snap both your elbows and knees rib your feet and hand off and stab all the bone ends into your lungs, then cut open your stomach and expose all your organs, grabbing your intestine and making it into a noose, then rub honey all over yourself and watch as hellbugs and hellcrabs and small hellanimals crawl all over you and start to eat you alive for days as you lay in your own stinking pile of **** piss and sperm going into your mouth as hellrats and hellbugs and hellwasps nest living inside your organs and then splash stomach acid all over your face and chew on your own muscles and organs and tongue to prevent starvation and hellanimals crawl through your neck you choke on a hellporcupine and get spikes sticking through your jugulars and throat, then disconnect all your veins and arteries and stick the ends in your nose as blood comes shooting up your nose and filling your skull and shooting out through the small holes in your eyes caused by the needles then after months drown in your own ****. Eventually you'll wake up still with the **** on your face, surprised to see that you have all your body parts and get raped by Michael Jackson who died from looking at your face. then he cums on your bowling ball pancreas untill EVERY Butch clone comes and chews his nuts off and then the Butch clones cum on your pancreas and your face explodes. You come back as a 20 year old sexy Jewish girl in 1945, where you are in a concentration camp and you get gang raped by 666 Nazis and even Hitler himself gets so turned on by your sexiness that he ties you to the ground and smacks your face with his dick, trying to force you to give him a blowjob until he crushes your head and your brains come out and it dries to the ground so you are stuck there being cock slapped by Hitler, Michael Jackson, and your cousin Steve (who turned out to be weaselfan) until he dies and leaves you there until you die and go to hell, Satan rapes your family who is also dead. Then you try to save them and get hit by a warthog and Master Chief rapes you 7 times until his shield goes down and then he gets killed by the Arbiter who also rapes you until you have six new **** holes. You'll then lose all your precious body fluids through your new **** holes and you ****ing evaporate. You wake up in your room, still a sexy Jewish chick, but now you're lesbian and you have a penis and you got Hitler's nuts back. You don't want to be a shemale so you go in your garage and force your dick into a toaster but you just crush and toast your nuts, you are too much of a pussy to finish the job.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Rants
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Excessive Profanity
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck