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Marty Friedman/Marty revision0

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* (cur) (last) 23:47, Tom mayfair (Talk | contribs) (Protected Marty Friedman: repeated vandalism; patent nonsense)
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* (cur) (last) 05:34, LinkTGF (Talk | contribs) (←Undid revision - can some mod lock this?)
* (cur) (last) 05:25, 218.221.555.555 (Talk) (←Replaced page with 'ｬダヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ' )
* (cur) (last) 05:10, TheDudeMan (Talk | contribs) (←Undid revision - stop it.)
* (cur) (last) 05:08, 218.221.555.555 (Talk) 
* (cur) (last) 08:54, Roman Dog Bird (Talk| contribs) (←Undid revision - Ugh... For future edits, please provide sources, and bear in mind notability and relevance. If you want to write articles in Japanese, try Ansaikuropedia.)
* (cur) (last) 04:14, 218.221.555.555 (Talk) 
* (cur) (last) 12:20, Monika (Talk| contribs) (←Created page with 'Marty Friedman (born Martin Adam Friedman, on December 8, 1962) is a Jewish-American guitarist best known as the lead guitarist for the thrash metal band [[Megadeth]]...')
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Marty Friedman/Marty revision1

This is an old revision of this page, as edited by 218.221.555.555 (Talk) at 04:14, . (history) 
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* (cur) (last) 05:10, TheDudeMan (Talk | contribs) (←Undid revision - stop it.)
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* (cur) (last) 08:54, Roman Dog Bird (Talk| contribs) (←Undid revision - Ugh... For future edits, please provide sources, and bear in mind notability and relevance. If you want to write articles in Japanese, try Ansaikuropedia.)
* (cur) (last) 04:14, 218.221.555.555 (Talk) 
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Marty Friedman/Marty revision2

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* (cur) (last) 04:14, 218.221.555.555 (Talk) 
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Marty Friedman/Marty revision3

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* (cur) (last) 05:25, 218.221.555.555 (Talk) (←Replaced page with 'ｬダヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ' )
* (cur) (last) 05:10, TheDudeMan (Talk | contribs) (←Undid revision - stop it.)
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Marty Friedman/Marty revision4

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Marty Friedman/Marty revision5

This is an old revision of this page, as edited by 218.221.555.555 (Talk) at 05:25, . (history)
 
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* (cur) (last) 05:10, TheDudeMan (Talk | contribs) (←Undid revision - stop it.)
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ｬダヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ
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Marty Friedman/Marty revision6

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Marty Friedman/Marty revision8

This page is currently protected from editing to deal with vandalism.         
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Marty Friedman/Marty userpage

(⌒▽⌒)ノ＿彡☆バンバン！ HELLO! WELCOME TO MY USER PAGE!
==Articles I have written==
*Marty Friedman (rewrite) 
*Enka
*How to:invent new scales
*Dave's Magical Fantabulous Bingo Shorts
*Miyavi
==Articles that made me lol heartily==
*AAAAAAAAA!
*Van Halen
*X Japan
* U.S.S. Gratuitous Anime Panty Shot
*Moë 
*Robosexuality
*Kirk Hammett (always funny)
	 	
	 	
{| cellspacing="0" style="width: 238px; background: white;"	MF	This user is Marty Friedman.
Category:Article subpages
Marvin's Theory of Evolution (of Lesbians)

==An Introduction to Lesbians==
First of all, what is a lesbian? A lesbian, although often dismissed as false, is a simply delightful creature. God made lesbians because Jesus wasn’t allowed to like women, but in the bible two wrongs do make a right! This is why the bible is homophobic, because men are superior and two rights must make a wrong if two wrongs make a right. However, this has nothing to do with evolution (of lesbians). So here it is…
==Overview of Darwin's Marvin's Theory of Evolution==
Marvin was a nerd who, like many spent an unhealthy portion of his life looking at lesbian pornography on the trinternet. He found that after time the lesbians’ (which he was viewing) tongues had increased in size and volume. After lots of research with lots and lots of lesbian pornography he determined the following:
*The lesbians with the longest tongues updated their websites more often.
*The lesbians with the short tongues died because of lack of sexual activity. (Eh?)
*The longer tongued lesbians survived and passed these characteristics onto their offspring with the long tongue lesbian gene. (Researchers are not sure why the offspring are here, ask Wikipedia).
==Survival of the Sexiest==
Marvin conducted a theory which stated that the long-tongued gene is due to mutation. Because lesbian pornography is so freaking hot, it produces radiation capable of altering genes. Lesbians, although loving pussies, are all for penetration, and it is the appendage one might call a “tongue” that is most often used to insert into their vagina. The amplified sexual action has proven benefits, such as an improved age. It is this also that many Lesbianologists believe kills the shorter tongued lesbians.
==Evolution in Action==
You may ask: how does this help carry on the human race? Well, you see, men that would usually have no sex drive whatsoever, or any urge to carry on the human race might see a pornstar with the long tongue gene and then decide that sex is the best thing since sliced bread (and bisexuals are like Hovis "the best of both"). Therefore reproducing when other they wouldn’t have bothered.
This carries on because when the man in question reproduces, his offspring will either go on to be photographers for porn or if they are of the female gender they inevitably have the long tongue gene because the father’s instinct picked out a wife the gene despite the fact she’s a lesbian (ask Wikipedia).
==See Also==
*Nipples
*Lesbian
*Charles Darwin
*Evolution
Category:Lesbians
Mary, Did You Know?

Mary, did you know...
*...that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
:*...that your baby boy has walked where angels trot? Criss Angel, that is. 
::*...that Crissmas would be a really cool holiday?
*...that you were conceived without the stain of original sin? Don't ask us how we know this. 
*...that it is better to be full of grace than full of crap?
*...that you are "blessed among women", with the exception of Jael and Judith because they were good at killing enemies in their sleep?
*...that in Soviet Jerusalem, this child that you've delivered will soon deliver YOU!! 
*...the blind will see?
:*...the deaf will hear?
::*...the dead will live again?
:::*...the lame will leap?
::::*...the dumb will speak....
:::::*....the praises OF THE LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMB!
*...that there's no room in the inn and you are thusly up shit creek without a paddle?
*...that you shouldn't really call it a "silent night" when angels are blasting frickin' trumpets and waking up the neighbors at the most ungodly hour?
*...that following a star leads you in circles? 
*...that the mothers of various pagan gods and Augustus's mother were also virgins? It's more common than you think! 
*...that perpetual virginity is easier with the Bill Clinton loophole?
*...that Amy Grant likes premarital sex?
*...that Christian prostitutes won't have sex on Sunday?
*...that you've been upstaged by a shark?
*...that The Big Bang Theory has ruined your reputation?
*...that you're a 21st century Hispanic maid in Texas?
*...that you will only have a three-day window on your son's life insurance policy?
*...this sleeping child you're holding is the great I Am? Like, woah, man! WOAH! WOAH!!
==See Also==
<youtube width="280" height="157">ifCWN5pJGIE</youtube>
*Mary
*Did You Know
Category:Christmas Category:Songs Category:Christianity Category:Biblical people Category:Lists
Mary-Sue character

In fanfiction, a Mary-Sue character is a thinly-veiled representation of Captain Kirk in a story that is ostensibly about lesbians.
Stories featuring a Mary-Sue character are often written within the fanfiction community, particularly by 14-year-old girls who are repressing their desire to rip Robert Pattinson's clothes off (not that they aren't already) and ride him like Space Mountain. Many lists of how to identify Mary-Sues exist, with common traits being recognized as obvious alcoholism, an inflated sense of self-worth and a strange fondness for ... pauses.
Accusing someone's fanfiction of containing a Mary-Sue is a way to deliciously bring on a flame war.
==Theoretical underpinnings==
Because Captain Kirk is the archetypal embodiment of all masculinity, fanfiction writers, consumed as they are with finding non-existent lesbian subtext in shows like The L Word, Xena: Warrior Princess, and My Little Pony, find it necessary to insert an ideal masculine figure whom they can use to transfer their own heterosexual desires onto the female body that, through the slashing process, has been transfigured into ... ah, fuck it, that's a bunch of Freudian mumbo-jumbo. IT'S ABOUT TEENAGE GIRLS AFTER HOT BOY-ON-BOY ACTION. Filthy little creatures.
==Origin==
The name "Mary-Sue" derives from Alexander Martin Luther's criticism of Catholics worship of the Virgin Mary, who is not God. For this reason, the Catholics sued the printers that allowed Luther's dangerous ideas, a problem which led Gary Superman to punch Lex Luther in the face as Superman often does. Since the "Mary-Lawsuit of the Holy Edict of the City of the Holy Worms" caused just as many wars as accusations of being stolen from Kirk, Kirk Xeroxes were nichnamed "Mary-sues" in memorias of the incident.
==Examples==
*T.J. Hooker is CHiPS fanfic featuring a Kirk character as a starship captain brought to Earth. Heather Locklear's portrayal of Uhura was much criticized.
*Boston Legal is Perry Mason fanfic featuring Mason played in the. Style. Of. Kirk. Rhona Mitra's portrayal of Uhura was much criticized.
*TekWar is a series of science fiction fanfic novels featuring a Kirk character as a highly illegal mind-altering drug causing people to go to conventions, wear pointy ears and make silly hand signals while saying "Live long and prosper" as a pickup line. William Shatner's portrayal of an author was much criticized.
*Shit My Dad Says is a Twitter fanfic featuring a Kirk character as Socrates. Kirk's commentary on Uhura was the only thing about the show that was not much criticized.
*Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds is a Beatles fanfic with James T. Lennon, Spock McCartney, Scotty Harrison and "Bones" Starr, written by Henry Rollins. The song's portrayal of music has been universally acclaimed.
Category:Literature
Category:Women
Category:Star Trek
fr:Mary Sue
it:Mary Sue
Mary I of Scotland

:Special Guest Article: Today's guest writer is Leonard Nimoy.
Mary I of Scotland, Little is known today about the mysterious ruler known as Mary Queen of Scots. What was her name, and which people did she rule? In Search Of ... cameras will attempt to answer these and other questions about this mysterious ruler.
==In Search of Mary Queen of Scots==
===Questionable Introduction===
The mystery of Mary Queen of Scots is one that has gripped mankind for centuries. Who was this strange monarch? What did she do? Was she even a she? To find the answers, we interviewed a deeply eccentric person with little idea of what he's talking about.
===Interview With Someone 'Not Quite Right'===
According to my studies, Mary Queen of Scots was a Catholic monarch of 16th Century Europe. There is some disagreement about which country she ruled, but my money would be on Belgium, since many Belgians are named Mary.
===Unnecessary Repetition===
Yet this answer to our question does not answer our question. If Mary was Belgian, then surely she would have been called Marie, Queen de Scots. Who was this strange monarch? What did she do? Was she even a she? To find the answers, we interviewed a borderline crazy person with little to no idea of what he's talking about.
===Interview With Someone "A Bit Touched"===
My personal theory is that this Mary, this so called 'Queen of Scots' never in fact existed. She is nothing but a vast conspiracy put about by the Illuminati, the I Can't Believe It's Not The Illuminati and IKEA.
===Blatant Padding===
Given these two theories, which is right? How can we decide? We put this question to a token sane person.
===Interview With A Professor of Scottish History===
Mary Queen of Scots was the daughter of King James V of Scotland and Mary of Guise. Born in 1542...
===Back to the Loonies===
That's quite enough of that! Now for an interview with a blistering lunatic, followed by a summing up in my deep baritone.
===Interview With A 24-Karat Nutbar===
Oh, how they fly. Substrata. All the cows bleed linoleum and the Jew butchers cannot find the handle. Soap? Soap indeed, mi Amiga.
===Conclusion===
Was Mary a Belgian? Was she a Masonic plot? Do the CIA satellites contol our thoughtwaves? Is there even some slim chance that she was a woman called Mary, who was Queen of Scots? This is one mystery we cannot solve, not even with all the spurious conjecture at our disposal. Only time will tell, and history will judge. Tune in next week for hot sasquatch on yeti action.
==See also==
*Mary Queen of Denmark
Category:British historical figures
category:Mysterycategory:RoyaltyCategory:Scottish people
category:Pages that wisna written by a body that's mither tongue is Scots
Category:British monarchy