SHINE!

I've always had bad luck with shiny pokemon. I've gotten a few in the past, but they were always lame ones like Koffing or Pelipper. For once, I just wanted a shiny pokemon that I would actually enjoy using. I would see so many shinies when doing random wi-fi battles that it drove me nuts with envy.
I was sitting in a park one day playing Pokemon Y, trying to get a shiny through a fishing chain. I thought it might be fun to get a shiny Politoed, or a Poliwhirl I could evolve, so I went to the proper area and started fishing. About twenty or thirty non-shinies later, a strange old woman walked up to me. She was wearing some kind of ceremonial robe that dragged on the ground as she hunched over. Her face was wrinkled like a prune, and her hair coarse gray hair was tied up in a bun. In one hand she carried a bell that hung from a long red ribbon. In her other hand were finger cymbals.
Just as I was about to reel in another pokemon, the woman looked at me and spoke.
"SHINE!" she said proudly, and gave a "ting! ting!" on her finger cymbals.
Before I could register how odd it was, I noticed the pokemon I just encountered. It was a shiny Politoed! Not only did I get a shiny pokemon, but it was the 5% encounter chance pokemon for that fishing spot! I couldn't believe it! And to think, some random old lady seemed to almost predict that it was about to happen! That's when I noticed she had vanished.
Later that day, I trained and leveled my Politoed with glee. I thought about how awesome it would be to get another cool shiny pokemon, but I figured my luck wouldn't hold up after the first one. I decided to forget about shinies and finally head to the post-game cave to catch Mewtwo. Just as I was about to battle it, the phone rang. I put my 3DS down and took the call, since Mewtwo wasn't going anywhere.
"Hello?" I said.
ting! ting!  "SHINE!"  *-click-  BEEEEEEEEP.
I was stunned. Did that old woman just call me? Was it a prank? For a few minutes I contemplated how weird it was, and went back to pokemon. As I got into battle with Mewtwo, I was stunned once more. It was shiny! How could this happen? I got a shiny legendary? ME? The guy who never gets shiny pokemon just got two in one day, and one is a legendary? I'd seen shiny legendaries before but I usually assumed they were hacked. That's when I realized it really could have been that same old woman who just called. But how did she get my phone number? I started to feel paranoid, but my shiny Mewtwo nipped that in the bud pretty quick.
If I could get two shiny pokemon in one day, then why not three? I decided to try the pokeradar method, which I am terrible at. Normally, I can't seem to get a chain of pokemon because I'm awful at picking the correct shakey grass square. Things were different that day, however. For the first time I got into the double digits on a chain of Riolu. In the middle of my fourteenth Riolu battle, someone rang the doorbell. I closed my 3DS and ran downstairs to get the door, but no one was there.
I stood there scratching my head for a few minutes. Did we really just get a "ding dong ditch"? If so, it was the first time. Suddenly thirsty, I went into the kitchen to get a drink before continuing my shiny Riolu hunt. I didn't notice at first, but when I closed the refrigerator door I saw something that made my stomach drop. On the fridge door, spelled out in those plastic letter magnets, was the word: SHINE.
"What the hell is going on?" I asked myself. Rather frantically, I went around the house locking all the doors and windows. Neither of my parents were answering their cell phones, and it seemed silly to call the police since there was no real evidence of a break-in. I took a deep breath, told myself I was being stupid, and went back to my room. When I opened my 3DS, I saw something unexplainable. The regular Riolu I was in battle with had somehow become shiny! I was thrilled to get my first two shinies, but somehow this was not as exciting. All I could think about was that old woman. Was she really the reason why I was getting shiny pokemon? Something didn't feel right, so I shut off my 3DS and laid down on my bed.
It was dark out when I woke up. I hadn't planned on taking a nap, but it just happens some times. Too bad I got freaked out about that shiny Riolu, because I would have loved to have one. I rememberd another method of getting shiny pokemon called the "Masuda Method" where you breed pokemon from two different regions. The chances of getting a shiny are much better. A shiny Riolu would have been great, but I decided to try and get my favorite shiny of all time: Marill. I've always loved how Azumarill is yellow instead of blue. Just thinking about it made me giddy, knowing that my super luck would surely get me what I desired. I took a Marill I had bred myself, and put it in daycare with a japanese Marill.
Dozens of eggs later, I hadn't gotten a shiny. I knew some people had hatched hundreds of eggs before getting one, but it was still frustrating. 
"Come on lady! Give me my shiny!" I shouted jokingly, as if that creepy old woman could hear me. "Come on, bitch! Where's my damn shiny?!" That's when I heard a familiar sound.
ting! ting!
An egg began to hatch.
ting! ting!
It shook. It cracked. It wobbled. It hatched! And what was it? Was it a shiny Marill?
No. It was...
THE OLD LADY!
ting! ting! "SHINE!" 
I screamed in shock as she leapt out of my 3DS and landed right in front of me, covered in slime and egg shell fragments. With her face two inches from mine she whispered, "...shine?"
I fell to the floor and rolled under my bed, covering my ears.
ting! ting!  "SHINE!"
"Leave me alone!" I yelled. How could this be happening? Was she a ghost? Was I dreaming?! 
ting! ting! ting! ting! ting! ting! "SHINE! SHINE! SHINE!"
Terrified, I blurted out whatever I could think of to hopefully banish her from my life forever.
"Please! Go away! I don't care about shiny pokemon anymore! I don't want any! Just leave me alone! I hate shiny pokemon! I don't ever want another one!"
And with that, she disappeared. I never caught another shiny pokemon... for the rest of my life.
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:Pokemon
Category:Beings
Category:English Class Failure