A story built one clause at a time

Sorry, , you may not add more text to the story at this time. Everyone else has this story's permission to add text at this time.
===Rules!===
#No writing two clauses in a row. A clause is anything that has both a subject and a predicate.
#For the purposes of this story, an interjection counts as a clause.
#No incomplete clauses. Every edit must add a full clause containing both a subject and a predicate.
#No reverting or deleting what other people do unless they themselves broke a rule and you are fixing it.
#No adding random banana clauses. The story must penis make sense chicken if you read through butt it.
#No clauses longer than 40 words.
#Use tags like <nowiki> sparingly.
#Have fun!
#Last person to edit wins!!
==Story==
We return to expand the moccacinematic universe once again. Yes. Stephen Hawking is here, and he's gonna kick your ass! Our beloved hero John Johnson unexpectedly challenged Stephen's actions, however. Stephen Hawking was going to summon Jeffrey Epstein but Jeff Bezos disagreed with him. They're also both dead, despite George Who Bushed's meddling in the situation. Actually, 9/11 was an outside job. It was performed by a moccasin.
===But who owned the moccasin?===
The <biG>Moccasin</biG> was owned by , since he owns all the moccasins (OPOSSUM owns all the<Big> moccasins </Big>that aren't owned by .) This would mean Squaw Dee owns more moccasins, but Squaw Dee's moccasins must be all fake if OPOSSUM owns all of the real ones. Thus, the story must be lying to us. Oh no!!!!! But the words "Oh no!!!!!" are also part of the story, so they must be lying as well. But that sentence isn't a full clause, so it must be lying too! EVERYTHING MUST BE LYING, BECAUSE I CAN'T FINISH THIS SENTE-- Moccasins moccasinly moccasined moccasinic moccasins. What the fuck is a moccasin? Nobody knows, so therefore everyone must kill now. AAAAAAAAAAAAA! Did you know that AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA is an Uncyclopedia page? Yes, I did. Liar! Why would I know that? no idea. I did, in fact, know. And yet, the clauses are disappearing from the strory because the writers can't be bothered to write any. Well fu-
Suddenly the rules of the story started being enforced properly because people can't be bothered to complete their clauses for some reason. I can't deny I have no fucking idea what a clause even is supposed to be... According to Google, moccasins must follow a strict size limit because it's apparently too woke now. Moccasinians caused the Moccapocalypse, and subsequently started to throw their moccasins
===NEW RULE: LITERALLY ANYTHING COUNTS AS A CLAUSE===
Except, of course, for moccasins. Fine by me, i guess. This is also a clause, but it's different... somehow. Was this article meant to tell a story, perhaps? No, it says that it is a story in the title. That does not mean that we have to make it a story, because none of these make sense in the first place. As long as it has something that could be called a "plot"...
Once apon a time, i added a horrible copypasta to a random forum post. This alerted the users, causing them to replace it with a worse slightly better one instead. But this alerted the admins, who all spontaneously got drunk and deleted the entire forum just because they can do that. The users became agitated upon realizing that the forum had spontaneously gone, and decided to overthrow the admins (with the help of John) just because they thought they could do that. But the admins called in the mighty Oscar Wilde, the king of Uncyclopedia, in order to flex on the users with their fancy new time machine. Wait, they have one of those now? It seems so, as they go back in time and go to the first thanksgiving to get turkeys off the menu. Then they kill hitler when he is a baby. But that completely changed the present, because it made the world much better! Also WW2 goes mostly the same way anyway, with Austria replacing Germany's role in the war. The nuclear bomb was never invented, making everyone gay simultaneously... somehow. The gender-bender-inatior was invented instead. And instead of dropping it over Japan, the US dropped it over the British Isles because... uhhhh... Alan Turing. Why? Why not? Nobody cares at this point anyway, so it counts. But suddenly, the wind was so strong it made the nuke G.B.I land in the US itself!! bold text had done this to impress its crush cursive text. And it did indeed impress it, but what bold text didn't know was that cuisive text was already dating strikethrough text, meaning that bold text was making a cuckold out of strikethrough text without knowing! Also, cursive texts father big text disapproved of strikethrough text because he believes that strikethrough text is suicidal... somehow. That's why strikethrough text tried to reach for cursive texts help, only to see cursive text having raw sex with bold text! This made strikethrough text extremely horny, despite the fact that they're literally just line through a couple of words. The strikethrough text then proceeded to illegally film the hot sex scene in order to upload it online and earn tons of money off of it. Then cursive text saw that there was a film of the raw sex from the other night, and rather than getting mad, it too got horny after seeing its privacy being violated. This made cursive text realize that they were into selfcest, making themselves gay by default. So then cursive text started to show self-love by aggressively jerking off. But cursive text wasn't satisfied with this, so they cloned themselves in order to jerk off their own clone instead. Then both bold text and strikethrough text caught cursive text cheating on them both with their own clone; once again, this bold text and strikethrough text incredibly horny. But then cursive text was turned into a demigod because that's what happens when someone who's italic jerks off a clone of themselves... for some reason. Having obtained demigod powers, cursive text could now sense that bold text and strikethrough text was spying on them; and so cursive text decided to glue them to a chair and edge their dicks, as punishment. But both bold text and strikethrough text managed to bypass the edging, making cursive text pregnant2 because that's a power a demigod has apparently. So now cursive text bore the children from both bold text and strikethrough text, and had an incredibly large preggo tummy; this sight made bold text and strikethrough text incredibly horny once again, and they all had a threesome together. This proved to be a bad idea, because a demigod's insides are made of word jumblers, making bold text and strikethrough text all jumbled up. Thus bold text and strikethrough text fused to become bold strikethrough text, who had the peculiarity of having four testicles.
Hold on, i need to find out who wrote the laws of this universe, because this is getting ridiculous. It's not like cursive text cared, though, as it now had a new boyfriend who was twice as hot and had twice the amount of testicles. bold strikethrough text was disapointed though, turning them orange. Orange bold strikethrough text then started having sloppy sex with cursive text as a way to cope with their disapointment. Except they couldn't, because cursive text had to give birth2. And so cursive text gave birth to small text and superscript text, who were both children of bold text and strikethrough text, who was now orange bold strikethrough text. But before these children could open their eyes they were murdered by underlined text, who wanted orange bold strikethrough text for themselves and was furious at the fact that they had a child with cursive text. But because they were the children of a demigod, underlined text got was punished by the gods, being sentenced to being skinned alive. This turned underlined text into __________ ____ instead, because the text is apparently their skin. __________ ____ was now in incredible pain beyond human text comprehension, and so they tried to jump off a cliff; but they didn't die, as being unable to die in such stage was part of the punishment by the gods, and would have to bear with this suffering for all eternity -or until the gods stopped having fun with them, which was likely not going to happen soon. This is because the gods consisted of five different Selaw Obmijs, and they all love putting text through extreme amounts of pain because they're all insane. The five Selaw Obmijs used they skin they had tore from __________ ____ to give cursive text a new child as compensation from the loss of the other two; cursive text didn't want that at all and prefared to have no children rather than having as their child a freak of nature, but the Selaw Obmijs were too insane to care about this fact and created this new child. The child turned out to be a canabalistic monster, but they were technically children of the gods, so they're only a threat to the Selaw Obmijs. Cursive text was geniuenly disturbed by their new "child", and so they cast the child away in the middle of a labyrinth, just like the minotaur. But this turned out to be a horrible idea, because this labyrinth turns cannibalistic demigod-children into labyrinth-eating cats for some reason.
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Category:Writing
Category:Uncyclopedia Games
Category:Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
Category:In-jokes