His word writ large

I was thinking of The Pilgrim Fathers the other day; their fantastic voyage to a new world and the dangers they endured. And I wondered why would God place such obstacles in the way of the faithful? Why did He make their lives in England so uncomfortable that they would swap the warm ale of their homeland for the high seas? Of course, it seems obvious that just as God tested Abraham's faith by demanding he sacrifice his son, so the Pilgrims were forced to sacrifice the casual violence and binge-drinking of home to prove their worthiness to inherit the best that His creation could provide. And how He rewarded them; not just by providing their progeny with proficient dentistry, but by emptying an entire continent in front of them with the divine gift of firearms and the smallpox virus. Surely these God-fearing heroes were truly the men made in His image. Surely too, God gave our forefathers this new home so they could move away from men made according to less divine templates. Surely too He made them cross the Atlantic to put distance between them and those who perversely choose to worship Him incorrectly. Or not at all.
With what interest must He have watched the progress of their tiny ship across His mighty ocean, His unseen hand guiding them through the uncharted waters. And then I thought about how God must see us all from his vantage point in the clouds. Scientists say that the Earth is 6,800 years old. Well, even the most compassionate of beings must get bored, with nothing to look at millennium after millennium but His own handiwork. 
And that's when it hit me - God looks at His own creation all day, every day. Surely He must have crafted a few signs into his work for His own amusement. If we look carefully enough, surely we might see them too.
==Africa==
Stephen Hawking and his Godless sort say we all "evolved" in Africa. Well, he may be a monkey's nephew but I most certainly am not. And which of us has He forced to communicate through an Atari speech synthesiser? If God created man in Africa in His image, you might expect that He would have been a little kinder. Corruption, AIDS and Robert Mugabe don't seem like great blessings to bestow on your favored children. I believe that only God's fairest creation - the Aryan peoples - are made truly in His image. After all, when did we last see a black angel in a stained glass window? 
Some may say that this is mere prejudice, but I say our two races' relationships with God are apparent to all if we simply look at our respective homelands from God's own home, space?
Tilt your head to the right. What is God telling us by shaping this continent like a horned skull? Look closer, this head has a huge empty region we call the Sahara Desert just where you and I have a brain. This tells us that Africans haven't the intelligence to understand God's message, they are damned by their lack of mental capacity. It isn't their fault. Does it not say in the Bible that the tribe of Canaan will be cursed by his brothers and made slaves? Liberal-minded professors may tell us that we are all equal but why would a loving God create a race to work for us and then give them the intelligence to appreciate their own inferiority? Surely it is clear that God created the negro to do his master's bidding and created their masters with the capacity to make ships to transport them and chains to stop them running away from His will. The bleeding hearts would have us apologise for slavery. But during the nineteenth century negroes created hundreds of jolly spirituals to sing in the fields - expressing their thanks for God's beneficence at allowing them to live in His own land, America. And what has happened to the poor souls we left behind "free" in their homeland? Are they happier there? I say no, not for all their blood diamonds.
Look again at what God is showing us in the outline of Africa. The southern, Christian part of Africa is green and almost pleasant. The vast, Muslim North (where Christ is denied) is rightly devoid of life-giving water just as the unpious are devoid of thought. And what of that strange wound in the skull of Africa? Look again at where it is centred. That's right. Tripoli. What can God be telling us here? Tripoli is the capital of that center of Anti-American, Anti-Christian thinking, Libya. A blow to the brain may not be fatal, but it is sure to impair mental faculty. God is telling us, that Colonel Gadaffi is a grievous wound to Africa's intelligence.
Interestingly, in ancient times Tripoli was called Cyrene - as in Simon of Cyrene, the man forced to carry Christ's cross. And where did he carry it too? To Golgotha - the place of the skull! God is spelling out His message in words big enough for even Africans to understand.
When we look closely at the skull we can see even more of God's intentions. Lake Victoria is clearly the eye of Africa. But what flows out of Lake Victoria? The River Nile, of course. A river navigable only so far, before it becomes blocked by fearsome cataracts. How apt that the people of Egypt are too blind to see the message of Christ! Lake Chad is the ear of Africa - but in recent decades, as Islam has strengthened its grip, Lake Chad has dried up to the point that North Africa can no longer hear God's word at all.
And what of the two lakes south of Lake Victoria. They are not part of the Nile. They are Lakes Tanganyika and Malawi and represent a very large scar beside and below the eye. What can this signify? I believe it marks the evil that Muslim slavers did to the people of the region in the nineteenth century, by taking them captive but not transporting them to God's own continet, North America. How He must have wept to see the poor slaves taken north and converted to the worship of a false god. Speaking of scars, let's take a look at the island of Madaga-scar: if we merely rotate it 22 degrees anti-clockwise and drain away a few billion tons of the Indian Ocean we can reattach it to the rest of the continent. Instantly, it becomes a nose. And what a nose!
What is God telling us here? Is this an African nose? I think not. This is clearly a European nose, its position in the Indian Ocean, hundreds of miles from the rest of Africa, shows us that we are detached from the "people" who live here. It tells us again that the addition of a properly pointy nasal projection brings humans closer to the image of God. And those without such a nose (Africans) have a horned skull which brings them closer to Satan - the prince of darkness. The nose is where we draw in life-giving oxygen, cutting off this European nose shows us that, by abandoning Africa, the European colonial governments of the twentieth century have allowed that troubled land to return to the death of spiritual corruption.
But of course, all this could just be coincidental - until one looks more closely and sees what other messages are written in the geography of our world.
==The Americas==
So the shape of Africa tells us how God wants us to see Africa. But what does North America tell us about how God sees His chosen people? Take a closer look, it's not quite so clear but, of course, God gave us our intelligence and He wouldn't want to make things too easy for us.
A detailed look at Alaska shows an eye and a mouth wide open, screaching at Russia. Draw a line around the Arctic islands and along the St Lawrence to the Great Lakes - we see the beating wings of Canada thrashing uncertainly between the solidly Presbyterian Scots-Canadians of Nova Scotia and the indolent French Catholics of Quebec. Below, we see the tail and the talons, (reminding us that God put us on His Earth equipped to take grip of unbelieving enemies). In the southwest we see the continent's virile member (the Baja peninsula) extending fom North America's nether regions (Mexico) reminding us of God's instruction that we shoul "Go forth and multiply".
But, why an eagle? Why not a lion? After all, it is the lion who is the king of beasts. But I ask you, which animal soars higher than an eagle? Surely God is graphically demonstrating that only we come close to His kingdom in heaven. 
And just what is being gripped by those fearsome talons?
The North American eagle is ridding the world of that ancient symbol of evil - the serpent, this time represented by Central America. Once again God shows us the eye of the beast at Lake Nicaragua and the wide open mouth of the gulf of Panama (with upper and lower fangs at Los Asientos and La Palma) waiting to consume sinners. Further back we can see the obscenely distorted body of the serpent where it partly digested last meal (the Godless Maya) distends its intestines in Honduras.
So why is Central America a snake?
The worship of Quetzalcoatl, the winged serpent-god, was once common amongst the heathens of Mesoamerica with their human sacrifice and blood cults. Perhaps God is showing us that adherence to false gods results in the kind of poverty and misery common throughout the region. And what is the serpent biting if not South America? Surely this is a wake-up call to the peoples of that unhappy, Catholic continent. God is telling them clearly that they should mend their idol-worshipping practises before they are committed to the sulfurous pits of Hell.
As for South America, again God asks us to look beyond the obvious. To appreciate the signals He has left for us we must first rotate the continent 90 degrees.
Immediately we see that most iconic of South American birds, the Condor. But why should South America be a condor and the North an eagle? As mighty as they are, Condors are mere vultures - birds associated with death. So, whereas North America is triumphing over the dark forces of Satan's serpent, the south is burying its head in the decaying filth of its own rotting corpse. God is telling the people of this continent that they should compare the blessings He has bestowed upon them with those He has bestowed on their northern brethren. It is time to turn their backs on incense, to desist from the practise of praying to mere saints, and to worship God alone, as Martin Luther taught us.
But let us not be complacent as to the threat to our own liberty. Look to the south of Florida and see another enemy of man, cursed by God. Cuba, the scorpion wields its poisonous sting in the Caribbean. Surely this is God's way of telling us to redouble our efforts to face-down the Godless communist threat in our own backyard. For does it not say in Luke, Chapter 10, verse 19 "Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. " 
God is instructing us to stamp hard on Castro and his ilk in His holy name before the Cubans inject their poison in our unprotected rear.
==Russia==
If God created His Earth for the benefit of true-believing Americans, then what of our traditional enemy? He could not have made the outline of Russia clearer. It is that ancient symbol of pagan belief, the goat.
But why should Russia represent an animal more associated with the mythology of ancient Greece? I believe that this represents the stubborn refusal of the Russian people to worship God in the way He has commanded. For hundreds of years, Russians have venerated icons beneath Islamic-looking domes, in cathedrals full of unholy incense and candles. This was not what God wanted and yet He allowed these errant people to expand from their European base across a whole continent at the expense of their Muslim neighbours. Still they did not praise Him correctly.
Even the immortal must sometimes run short of patience. He punished these sinners by inflicting communism on them. And for 70 years they stubbornly refused to accept His existence at all. How apt then, this goat. Since then they have overthrown Bolshevism but, ignoring God's will, they have returned to the very practises for which he first condemned them!
How has God dealt with this slap in the face? It is well known that Russia's population has collapsed since 1990, its death-rate soaring while its birth-rate has declined. This could so easily have been foreseen. The Goat is one of God's most fecund creatures and yet look what has happened to the virile member of Russia's goat. If we trace the line of the Ural mountains from the south we clearly see that it has been cut off and now floats freely in the Arctic Ocean as the island of Novayazemlya. Russia has been emasculated by its faithlessness.
Of course, Mark Chapter 9 says
"If thy hand offend thee, cut it off." 
And, in this case, God has shown that those who offend Him shall be yet more cruelly punished.
==Australia==
What is God telling us by shaping Australia as a dog?
In Matthew 7, He says:
"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine." 
Suggesting that Australians have been ungrateful for the blessings He has bestowed on them in the past.
Let us consider Australia's history. For thousands of years, God was unknown in Australia and its native "people" lived in ignorance and squalor, failing to build anything of substance. When the British and Dutch arrived in Australia, they found no cities, no highways, no shopping malls. It was clear that God had not blessed these benighted souls.
However, thanks to the introduction of distilled alcohol, infectious disease and a progressive bounty paid for Aboriginal skulls, God soon cleared the land for Christian souls. Within a generation the "White Australia" policy made this spiritual desert bloom. But in the 1970s liberal-minded atheists opened the continent to unbelievers from Asia in the mistaken belief that this "equality" reflects the natural order.
Since then, God has switched off the life-giving rains which nourish the dry heart of this continent, punishing His people for their mistakes. The dog is the lowliest of mammals, eating its own vomit and snuffling among the feces of others. With its broken ear, God shows us that Australians had only to continue to listen to his word to prosper. He has dried up Lake Eyre to reflect their unwillingness to see how they are offending Him, causing their many sheep to die of thirst to symbolise the death of belief among His flock.
No wonder God has infested this most ungrateful of nations with the wildest of dogs - the baby-eating dingo.
==The future==
Scientists tell us the shape of the planet is constantly evolving due to plate tectonics. If our species is to survive, we should take heed of the messages that God has already shown us and those that He will show us in the future, as He reshapes our Earth. Already we see the heathen monkey-worhippers of India slowly slipping beneath the great Asian plate and the unbelievers of Japan threatened by a multitude of volcanoes.
In time I expect to see our world fully reflect His true glory. The Eagle will soar ever higher, leaving the goats and dogs to squabble in the dust. And yet, even we are not without sin. Take heed now, ye sodomites of San Francisco - God warned of the dangers of men lying with other men in the Good Book, and has repeatedly visited your dens of vice with earthquakes. Plate movements predict that the Baja peninsula is set to be detached from the mainland of North America one day. Then, bereft of our virility, we too will be unable to reproduce ourselves - like our Russian neighbours. Surely this is God's method of telling us to be more careful where we place our privy members.
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