nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Kifposting

I used to have 50,000 posts on a fucking really weird, small, Futurama forum. There were only about 50 posters on the entire board.
For some reason I literally roleplayed as Kif (the frog who was a slave to Zapp Brannigan) in every single fucking post. I remember that the other posters would say things like 'post your penis again for me Kif' with a picture of Zapp and I would do it (after using photoshop to make my dick green).
I was basically a fucking sex slave for 50,000 posts. I remember on one occasion a girl came onto the board and I really liked her, but instead of talking to her like a normal human I tried to pick her up by writing an extensive, 1200 word post describing the backrub I gave to Zapp Brannigan.
I hate that part of my life almost as bad as this current one.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Category:YT Readings
Kill and Brex go to White Castle

One fine day, Kill1mes decided that he was sick of ramen and wanted to go to White Castle. As he was leaving, TheBrexter asked if he could come along in order to make the title of this story sound a bit like Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Kill agreed, and they went along on their merry way.
A few feet later, they were bowled over by a flood of noobs trying to enter the CPW headquarters. They tried to turn around and run inside to hold off the onslaught, but they blended into the crowd and accidentally got smacked in the face by Fur's hammer. Bushcraft Medic restored them, and then they remembered what they were doing. They continued down the road, and then ran into MagmaMan4488.
"You wanna get high?" he asked.
"Sure!" replied Brex
"Too bad. I don't have anything."
"Well, that was pointless." said Kill
"Indeed." replied Magma
And then they continued down the road until they ran into INPUT_USERNAME_HERE, who also asked them if they wanted to get high. They said no, and continued on. Input then sold his drugs to Magma, who used them all and went crazy. The next day, he woke up in St. Louis, and his next bowel movement yielded the rediscovery of his keys. That's what Sour Skittles do to you. Remember drugs, don't do kids!
A few minutes later, Kill and Brex ran into Ceeb, but Kill banhammered him immediately before the story could focus on him.
Finally, they arrived at White Castle, but had to get in line behind 41488p, Bug2Buga, and the newly resurrected MrBigDog. The staff couldn't tell 414 from the other avatarless people, so it took longer than expected. 414 then sued White Castle for racism. During this time, Bug left to see if there were any new homestuck updates and MrBigDog got tired of waiting so he went outside and started kicking the building. Eventually, Kill and Brex could order.
And then LOLSKELETONS popped out... from behind the counter. He asked if he could take their order, and they replied "Yeah, can we get the 50/50 crave case?"
"Sorry, can you speak up? I'm a bit hard of hearing..." 
"Can we get the 50/50 crave case?"
"What? You want 50 of my ribs?"
"No, we want the 50/50 crave case."
"No, I will not give you a blowjob."
"GOD DAMN IT WE JUST WANTED THE 50/50 CRAVE CASE!"
"You don't have to shout..."
"Well can we get it or not?"
"Sure, one 50/50 crave case coming right up. You want fries and a drink with that?"
They then both snapped for a few minutes, but then simply replied "No." A bit later, they got their order and returned to the CPW building. However, they opened the box and discovered it was empty. They looked around, and discovered that everyone else had stolen its contents and eaten them. This caused Kill and Brex to go insane. Well, moreso than before.
And that is how CPW descended into chaos.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Satire
Category:Inside Jokes
Killer Christmas Tree

We had just gotten a Christmas tree from the stand when my dad got jabbed in the eye with like fifty needles! He had to go to the hospital and while he did, my brother had an allergic reaction to the tree sap and got hives. I knew what I had to do. I burned the whole house down. It was the only way. My parents were pretty mad "It was only pine needles! It was only hives!!" But I know now, just like I knew then... that tree would have killed us all. Some people may say it was jealousy. But I mean really, you should have seen the stupid thing, it was all patchy and bent... the tree I picked out was a million times better... erm and, uh, the other... the other tree... cursed paranormal tree stuff goin on...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Holidays
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Killer Dave

Do you remember that old Cartoon Network show "Scaredy Squirrel"? Well, if you remember the show, then you probably remember "Dave the skunk". Deep inside Dave, he is soulless and bloodthirsty! I worked at the Cartoon Network Headquarters, then in 2012 I found a safe with a note that said "Do Not Watch" and I opened it up, I found a DVD with only "Dave the Skunk" from "Scaredy Squirrel".
and then I wondered to myself "what if I did?" I played the DVD and it turns out there is some mistakes in the intro, here are the mistakes:
*Sally's color is blood.
*Dave's eyes where angered.
then cut to the title screen. It showed Scaredy killing Nector and Sally. It showed in blood "Where's Dave" but then turned into "Killer Dave" then cuts to the episode.
a faded image of Dave with red foam coming out of his mouth. Then it showed Dave eating a cat, it's eyes where missing and veins where coming out of its eye sockets as Dave ate away his brains. Then it cut to Dave screaming for 5 seconds, and then it faded out. The disc ejected, I vomited.
Apparently, one of the writers that used to be an animator had a history of poor mental health; he used his animation skills to create the "Killer Dave" DVD. The man then crawled into his bathtub with a gun and committed suicide by shooting himself in the temple.
2 weeks later, Dave appeared in the headquarters and nearly killed me. I had never told anybody this story, not until now.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Shortpasta
Killer Fidget Spinner

I like fidget spinners. Actually, I love them. I've spent at least 2 billion dollars on them. But there was one incident that made me never spin a spinner for two days straight. Don't read this if you don't want to be plagued with nightmares for the rest of your life. I sure do hope you never have to endure something like I had.
A few months ago, I was calmly spinning my fidget spinner while staring at my computer screen. I was on a Wikia chat with a number of my friends. A new user, only joined a few days ago, suddenly PM'd me a link. It was on EBAY. I was brought to a page with a fidget spinner for only 0 dollars. "A free fidget spinner? This is legit!" I said. I bought it, and it said that it was going to come in 10 minutes. 10 minutes? That's in a couple hours! I tried to address if this was a good idea, but I don't think a fidget spinner can do too much harm!
A few hours later, I heard a ring from my front porch. This must be the delivery man, I thought. I opened the door, and... nobody was there. The package was, though. I took the package, and opened it. I was greeted with a black and red fidget spinner. A little creepy... But hey! It works! I sat spinning the fidget spinner, but I felt... uneasy. I sat next to my armadillo dakimakura and placed it down...and may I warn you, it all went downhill from there...
Suddenly, the lights came off! I ran to turn them back up, but it wouldn't budge. I kept hearing a loud whirring noise, until I checked the armadillo pillow. The spinner was spinning on it's own! It suddenly flew up in the air and sliced all of my naked armadillo plushes' heads off! "Help!", I cried. Just as I was talking, I heard a deep voice. "PREPARE TO DIE. YOU HAVE NOWHERE TO RUN." Then, the spinner began chasing me! It crushed all of my armadillo lights... it took a fortune to buy those! Then, it sliced RIGHT THROUGH my clothes. I had a giant red stain on my back. My Ultimate Supreme Armadillo Underwear was showing. I don't know if I should've felt embarrassed, or scared, or both.
I ran upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom. I kept hearing the voice.. "YOUR DAY IS OVER, KID." I don't know what to expect. So, I barged into the wall. I was in intense pain, but I still managed to break through because I used a hammer right afterwards. I fell out of my 6th floor, down to the ground. My body wanted to give up on itself. But I kept running. The spinner was still chasing me, and it was shooting death lasers out of its bearings! "Ahh! Help me someone!" I yelled. The spinner replied back with, "NOBODY IS HERE TO HELP YOU." I collapsed on the floor. I knew I couldn't run. There was no way I would survive.
Then the spinner got crushed by a falling satellite.
I hope you're still reading this instead of crying in a corner. No human should have had to suffer what I had. But, if you look deep inside, there is a hidden moral about this story.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:BATTELS
Category:Beings
Killer Luna

Do you remember that old Playhouse Disney show "Bear in the Big Blue House"? Well, if you remember the show, then you probably remember "Luna the Moon". Deep inside Luna, she is soulless and bloodthirsty! I was working at Walt Disney world in Florida as a janitor; as I was cleaning inside a soundstage when I encountered a tape of "Luna" from "Bear in the Big Blue House".
The label said "LUNA666" written in red ink. I put the tape in a nearby VCR and hit play. The picture faded in, it said "KILLER LUNA" in big red letters. The show started out normal with the intro, but the film had a red tint and it got darker, and darker, and darker. After the intro, it showed a stroller with maggots and a layer of dust all over it, a round object with a white glow was in the stroller with loud crunching noises. It cut to a faded image of Luna with red foam coming out of her mouth and there was extremely loud screaming in the background. Then it showed Luna eating a little boy with a striped shirt with a lollipop in his hand. His eyes were missing and veins were coming out of his eye sockets as Luna ate away at his brains. Then it cut to Luna screaming for five minutes, and then it faded out. The tape ejected. I vomited.
Apparently, one of the writers that used to be an animator had a history of poor mental health; he used his animation skills to create the "Killer Luna" tape. The man then crawled into his bathtub with a gun and comitted suicide by shooting himself in the temple.
I quit my job in Florida and moved to New York. I have never told anybody this story, not until now.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Old Shit
Category:Read by HoodoHoodlum
Category:Shortpasta
Killer Photo

Everyone keeps photos for memories right? Have you ever heard of photos that can KILL people? I bet you didn't, so that's why I'm here to tell you about it.It's just a typical Saturday morning, nothing much to do, sleep in, that Saturday morning crap.
So I have decided to check my mailbox (I normally don't do this on Saturdays but somehow today I wanted to) and there was: a magazine, junk mail, notice for bills, and a NOTE. I was curious about the note, it looked faded out like it has been dropped in water or someone spilled coffee on it. So then I just shrugged and threw it onto my front table on my way inside to my house.
Later that afternoon I went to visit my boyfriend Chris at his apartments, you know we just hung out and stuff. Then I headed back home, I got into my Corvette then I noticed ANOTHER note. It also was faded out, so I found my letter opener in my glove-box then opened the letter. This was what I read:
DEAR JENNIFER,WHY DIDN'T YOU READ THE NOTE I SENT YOU? IT HAD A PICTURE OF ME, THAT WAS RUDE OF YOU. NOT READING MY NOTE, I MIGHT PAY A LITTLE VISIT TONIGHT. WHAT DO YOU SAY? -
YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:The Title Is A Lie
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Shortpasta
Killer whale

When i was child, i loved ocean. I loved BBC's Blue Planet. And i was watching videos and pictures of ocean. And then it hapenned. I found creepy photo of beluga. Since that day i have thalassophobia, next day we went to the hawaii. we went into beach, and then i uncontrollable swimmed from beach. Until i was in middle of pacific, and called for help, i saw something in water. I thought it's a submarine. But it was killer whale, 10 meters long male of beluga with creepy smile. I've tried to swim away, but something was trying pull me right into his mouth. It chewed me apart and i died. As a ghost i've looked into my old computer, where i found that photo. Instead of photo i found video that shows a diver, that has been attacked by beluga male. it killed diver, but the film fell off the camera and was eaten by octopus. i found
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:TOTALLY NOT UNFINISHED U GUIZE
Category:Animulz
Category:Im died
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
Killing Bites

Well... let's just get it started already.
If you don't know what Killing Bites is, it's basically an anime/manga about a tournament where antropormofic furry girls fight against each other to see who has the sharpest claws or some shit like that. Sure it has some really fucked up shit in there, like extreme violence and gore, heavy furry fanservice but the stuff that I had whitnessed about it one day almost drove me insane
I was reccomended to watch this because of an amino friend of mine. She says that the show's pretty cool and stuff, and I decided to give it a try
However, every website I tried to watch it just wouldn't load, or it was full of viruses or I just couldn't access for some reason
After 2 hours and a half searching, I finally found a good website with a simple player, no ads, no pop ups and shit like that
Then, I searched "Killing Bites" on their search bar, and for my surprise, only one episode was available to watch, and it was only titled "Episode 7"
I have never watched a Killing Bites episode before, so I wasn't sure if I could watch the whole thing and not understanding wtf was going on. But I was curious so I clicked on it anyway
One of the main scenes in the episode is where Hitomi and Eruza starts to kiss each other. Nothing strange there, just a normal yuri scene, except the version I watched was nothing like that
The more the scene continued, the more the song faded out and the voice actor's moaning audio began to become louder, so even when my speakers were at 1% the noise was still loud enough for anyone to hear. I tried to mute my speakers, but the mute button wasn't even working. Worse of all, when they started to "make out" with each other, they stared to use their nails to scratch each other painfully, causing both to bleed at a level I was just getting nauseous just by looking at. And then, they started to finger each other, USING THEIR FUCKING CLAWS AGAIN.
At this point, their genitalias started to bleed so heavily I just couldn't belive I was seeing that shit. Seriously, you may not belive me, but trust me, I saw that shit. IT ACTUALLY HAPPEND
They started to kill each other while having sex, but it got worse. Eruza then screamed "Hitomi! Cum with me!"
And while they cummed, they ripped off each other's faces off, leaving only the visible meat, and that blood mixed with cum. At that point, I was so fucking traumatized I fainted.
When I regained my consciouness, it was probably midnight, and all I could see in my computer's screen was a BSOD. The error message said "KILLING_BITES_EPISODE7_ALT"
I then re-watched the original scene a few days later, and I'm now starting to speculate why that version existed in the first place. Maybe it was the original one but because of its extremly violent nature it wasn't approved?
That shit scarred me for life and I still don't know why I had to whitness that
Needles to say, I will never see Hitomi and Eruza the same way ever...
Read the sequel here.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Lost Episodes
Killing Floor 2011

Well i started a map on suburbs. My favorite map. Just to give me the feeling of having to survive endless waves of thousands of clots. only to be cornered.
Well it started it made me wait a minute in total for the round to start. When suddenly instead of saying the "266" for the creatures i had set up. It said. "1" I Ran down the road from where i spawn only to notice that a suited figure walked past a window. i assumed it was a bot or some thing along those lines of Mr. foster.
When all of a sudden I heard windows breaking all over the map. Any window in the map in fact.
My heart burst from my chest and I noticed I couldn't go through door ways that would usually navigate me to a major part of the map. And my character groaned as if he were being hit. "Get away from me you suited bastard!"
I started to get a little freaked out.
My heart practically bursting from my chest when i saw the suited figure moving towards me once more. I tried to shoot it with my pistol. Whenever a bullet would hit him. a small black spray would come from behind Him and he kept walking towards me. Its motion so unnatural looking. so I turned and bolted. my heart still pounding. I made it to the end of the map and realized map effects (Corpses, Cars, Sandbags, Doors) were gone. I quickly hit escape hoping it would end my troubles. But the pause would not work what so ever.
I had to Open task manager to close it.
My heart is still racing. My desktop image was changed to some.... Creepy dog smiling..
I think I just need rest.
I must be acting paranoid.... Right?....
Right?....
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious
Category:Vidya games
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Memes
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Killing the Oogieloves

You know which movie I fucking despise? The Oogieloves, it's a stupid movie made by stupid people to be watched by stupid people, for some reason, my friend, Billy, loved it so much, that he changed his name to Billylove! Like a fucking dumbass.
Recently, I haven't heard of Billylove, I went over to his house and what I expected, happened.
In his house was nothing but a single note saying,'Billylove is our new pillow!'
I was so mad, that I could punch a wall, in fact, I did punch a wall! I'll get my revenge on those Oogieloves by killing them!
I went back to my home to get my supplies to kill the Oogieloves! Gertrude the gun, a Bodypillow of Birch Small from My Life Me and a pickle for good measurement.
I got into my awesome car and drove off to where the Oogieloves lived.
When I arrived, I saw their stupid house, it was so stupid, that I can't describe how stupid it was in this story!
I knocked on their door, Goobie opened it and said, Hey! You must be an Oogielove superfan!
I pointed Gertrude the gun at him, No, I'm here to get my revenge on my friend, Billylove!
Goobie responded, Billylove? You mean our new pillow?
'Yeah! Him, get some new glasses' Said I, I shot Goobie in the chest 21 times, very slowly.
I them got out my pickle and shoved it up his ass, Goobie them pissed all over the ground before dying of death, I got the pickle out his butt and renamed it too Shit-Pickle
I entered their house, I saw Zoozie & Toofie talking to Billylove, who was sitting on Schluffy's old chair.
So, how's your life here? Said Zoozie.
It's going great Said Billylove.
Well, I think your lives are going to end! Said I.
What? Who are you? Said Zoozie, I them shoved the shitpickle up her mouth, Zoozie them started to choke on it.
Man, I haven't seen action this great since that scene in Shrek Said Ruffy.
Shut up! Said I, really wanting to make Ruffy into fish and chips.
I picked up Zoozie and walked to the kitchen table with her, I them got my cleaver and chopped her into little pieces, I them put those pieces in a blender to make some delicious Zoozie smoothies.
Toofie, clearly getting an erection from this, pulled down his pants.
Goofy Toofie! Pick up your pants! Said I, Toofie them picked up his pants.
Oh thanks mister Said Toofie.
Well, you won't be thanking me after this moment Said I.
I picked up Ruffy's fish bowl, turned it upside down and slammed it into Toofie's head.
Oh cool, I got another friend here Said Ruffy, to make sure both are dead, I slammed Windy Window through them, I them saw J. Edgar.
Hey! What are you doing? Said J. Edgar.
I picked up Toofie and slammed it into J. Edgar, J. Edgar exploded with only nuts & bolts left of him, I picked up Billylove as I placed an atomic bomb inside the house.
And there we go! Said I, looking at the explosion.
I them married Billylove and had 6 kids with him.
The End
Category:Trollpasta
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Unnecessary Sequels
King K Rool Country

I had asked for Donkey Kong Country because I got a Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES) from my aunt and the only game that came with it was Super Mario All-Stars. After some mouths, she got it on eBay and I was excited to play.
Everything was normal until I saw the world map. Instead of the normal DK mountain, It was in the shape of King K. Rool`s head with factories everywhere. Another weird thing was I was playing as Diddy Kong instead of Donkey Kong.
I went to the first level and it was in a dark factory level instead of the usual jungle and there was only a straight path to follow. After a while I found Squawks. When I opened it Squawks came out and suddenly a bunch of Krushas came out of nowhere and killed me. I noticed that was my last life.
Instead of the bruised DK and Diddy I saw their Diddy hanging, a Kremling wearing a black mask, King K. Rool on his throne and I heard laughter in the background without the music. I pressed all the buttons but nothing worked so I turned it off and then back on but when I did there was no music and no opening. It just went to the title now called King K Rool Country with a factory in the background.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta