nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
MS-DOS Help

C:/> help
MS-DOS built-in commands are:
*ASSOC - Prints information about the MS-DOS Association. It says nothing, as everybody left the Association about 20 years ago.
*ATTRIB - You can change or show DOS file attributes with this command.
*CALL - MS-DOS was the first operating system that could use your PC to call people on their phones. Unfortunately, this command doesn't do that. It invokes batch files.
*CD (chdir) - Used for changing directories.
*CLS - Throws everything on your screen into a black abyss.
*COLOR - Changes the colors of the background and the text on your PC. You can finally do the iconic color combo of Cyan and Magenta!
*COPY - Copies a file to a different path.
*CTTY - Not Yet Implemented
*DATE - This command should change your date and time, but Not Yet Implemented.
*DEL (erase, huff) - Often used with *.* or C:/DOS/, it is used to make your PC faster by optimizing it. It is suggested to use it.
*DIR - Lists all your files in the current directory. If used with /s and with COLOR 0A, you can hack everything with it.
*ECHO - You can write some text on your screen using this command. WARNING: If you try writing "Bill Gates sucks", your PC will be turned into a nuclear bomb and will explode in 2 seconds.
*EDIT - Opens a blue window which is used for editing files. It doesn't support any of the characters other than some signs, Latin letters and numbers.
*EXIT - The absolutely best command on MS-DOS. It closes MS-DOS.
*FORMAT - This command can change the format of your PC usage to a more easy-to-use and intuitive version. Use it with your main drive (usually C:/).
*FTYPE - It can show or modify open commands associated with file types. As there are no open commands associated with file types (yet), it shows nothing.
*HELP - Displays this message.
*MD (mkdir) - Makes a directory for you.
*MOVE - Tells you to move your ass from the chair and go outside.
*MKLINK - Makes a symbolic link. Note that it doesn't work, as it is just symbolic.
*PAUSE - Pauses your MS-DOS until you press the Any key on your keyboard.
*POPD - Restores a directory saved with PUSHD.
*PUSHD - Saves a directory restored with POPD. (Read as: totally useless commands.)
*REN (rename) - This is the hardest command to learn on the DOS. Even I don't know how to use it. It should rename files to different names.
*RD (rmdir) - Stands for Really Managed Directory. It sorts your directories and makes them more pretty. Just pass the directory you want to put in order.
*SET - This is used for setting variables. Note that you cannot get their value back, as there is no GET command.
*START - You can use this to start any program. Often used with VIRUS.EXE. 
*TIME - Says the current time. Also Not Yet Implemented.
*U7RTERWRTOIUFUTRUODRTIURIUTRIUIURYUIOTDYIOURTIUORTSGGFR6T - Displays this message. Used for compatibility purposes.
*VER - Says the version of your MS-DOS.
*VOL - Says the volume you're on. It is useful for the commands DEL and FORMAT.
*VIRUS - The second most useful command, after exit. It makes your PC get rid of (any other) viruses.
== See also ==
* MS-DOS
* cmd
category:Operating systems
MSN (album)

MSN (an abbreviation of Metallica Sounds Nice) is a live album by American heavy metal band Metallica, with The Microsoft Symphony conducted by Bill Gates. It was recorded on April 21–22, 1999 at The Microsoft Community Theatre. This is the final Metallica album to feature Jason Voorhees as Metallica's bassist.
==Album information==
MSN contains performances of Metallica songs with additional mainstream accompaniment, which was composed by Bill Gates, who also conducted the orchestra during the concert. The idea to combine heavy metal with a crappy mainstream approach, as James Hetfield has stated repeatedly, was an idea of Cliff Burton. Burton’s love of mainstream stuff, especially of MSN, can be traced back to many boring parts and nu-metal characteristics in Metallica’s songwriting including songs from Metallica and St. Anger.
In addition to songs from previous albums spanning Ride The Lightning through ReLoad, there are two new compositions: "Meat Loaf Cover" and "−Human". "Uncyclopedia" by Chronarion, Metallica's entrance music, was played live by the orchestra. "Meat Loaf Cover" has since been performed by Metallica in concert, using a recording of the orchestral prelude.
Changes were made to the lyrics of some songs, most notably the removal of the word "fucked" from the chorus of "Hardwired" and playing a Bill Gates queef in its place.
The "M" in the stylized "MSN" on the album cover is a backwards W, while the "N" is taken from Uncyclopedia's logo.
The drum kit Lars Ulrich used on the album is basically Jimbo Wales's bottocks.
===Critical reception & accolades===
*The Onion (January 20, 2000) - 5 stars out of 5 - "...Best fucking album ever."
*Album of the Year
===Commercial performance & legacy===
As of 2019, the album had been certified 167× platinum. The album was ranked 1st on Uncyclopedia's list of 50 Best MSN Parodies of 2019.
===Track listing & personnel===
Everything on the Wikipedia article, replaced with whatever music MSN is currently talking about.
==Video release==
Metallica also filmed and released the concert in DVD and VHS, which is now completely irrelevant since DVD and VHS are currently as well-known as MSN and MSN Messenger. You can catch some videos from the show on YouTube though. This video, for example, is just as relevant to this article as MSN is relevant to what is ACTUALLY mainstream in 2019.
<youtube>ZwJHWHfoQSc</youtube>
In contrast, this next video here IS totally relevant to 2019 mainstream music. It also makes this article just enough not mundane to be enjoyable. Which is pretty hard indeed:
<youtube>KdS6HFQ_LUc</youtube>
Category:Albums
Category:Microsoft
Category:Boring
Category:Intentionally Bad
Category:Hybrid subjects
MS Calculator

260pc|thumb|right|MS Calculator in action.
260pc|thumb|right|MS Calculator displaying the cheer up feature.
Microsoft Calculator (shortened to MS Calculator) is a program that comes with all Windows PCs. It is used to calculate the amount of time a person has left to live.
==Creation==
260pc|thumb|left|MS Calculator displaying a finished transaction of 100 added life minutes.
MS Calculator was first thought of when a man (who's name we cannot release) wanted to know when he was going to die. He thought up the idea to make a "Calculator" that could calculate the precise second you would die. One day Microsoft found out about this idea and of course they did what they always do when they hear about something that could make them money... they stole it. Now the man who originally thought of the idea never intended on making a digital calculator, but a real, solid calculator. So Microsoft made their digital calculator and then later on when the man tried to sue them for stealing his idea, they claimed that their calculator was completely digital and his real. Microsoft's case held up in court and they got away with it.
==Features==
The MS Calculator had a wide variety of features, such as telling you how long you have to live, telling you how long before you die, saying things to cheer you up (after telling you're going to die), and telling you the date and time.
==Adding Life==
You can add time to your life using MS Calculator, it costs $1 for 1 minute of extra life. This feature is used mainly by stupid wealthy people, who spend millions of dollars adding life to them thinking they will live forever.
==Sales==
The amount of Microsoft PCs that were sold because of MS Calculator is approximately 18,000,000 in the course of 1 year. Microsoft was raking in piles of cash by the million at one point they were literally giving away money. They later used all of this money made from MS Calculator to create the Microsoft Xbox.
==Changes==
After getting sued by the families of MS Calculator customers, multiple times, Microsoft decided to cut their losses and make some changes to MS Calculator. The new MS Calculator was programmed to calculate mathematical problems for you.
==See also==
*MS Paint
*MS Word
*Calculator
category:Software
ko:마소 계산기
Macaque

Macaque is a very odd and strange thing; people have tried to study macaque, but to no avail. It is for this reason that macaque has been blamed for many unfortunate occurrences, including your daughter's unexpected pregnancy. 
==Physiology of Macaque==
As described by your mom, macaque is a hairy, limp creature, with many pockmarks and strange freckles about it. Macaque does not like to be tocuhed by anyone else, and in fact, has not been touched in many, many years (except by me). Macaque has a special attraction to Vaseline and lesbians with lisps, though its favorite is by far, the pussycat. Ah yes, macaque loves to play with pussies. But its strange behavior can only be attributed to its complete lack of self-awareness, as put forth by Charles Darwin:
==Fun with macaque==
There are many different ways to play with macaque, including, but not limited to grabbing, pulling, stretching, licking, and/or rubbing macaque. Sometimes macaque appreciates this, whereby he lets you know by spitting a thick white fluid at your face. If not, macaque just gets limp and uninterested. It is at this point that you must back away, for macaque can quickly and unexpectedly lash out in full force. Overall, most scientists, as well as most women, will tell you that macaque is best left alone, but if you like living life on the edge, there are always a few easy steps to protect yourself:
#Always make sure macaque is wearing a condom - you never know, macaque is a wild thing
#Don't touch macaque's head, it's the msot sensitive part of him
#Never put your needs before macaque's
#Make sure you give macaque lots of attention, remember, he gets easily uninterested
#Never question macaque's size or prowess
#If you are kissing macaque, or otherwise touching it with your mouth, make sure you don't bite it
#Under no circumstances should you ever bring another macaque into a macaque's kitchen
==Things macaque is not==
Macaque is many things, but even he has his limits.
*Macaque is not your personal love-puppet
*Macaque is not yours to play with
*Macaque is not limited to one playmate, macaque reserves the right to play with others at any time
*Macaque is not minty-fresh, or even remotely clean; there's no reason for you to assume it is
*Macaque does not like hairy pussies. Please shave your cat before letting it play with macaque
*Macaque is not 100% reliable; satisfaction is not guaranteed
==Related topics==
*Pussy
*Monkey
*Cock
category:Things You Can Eat
Category:Monkeys
it:Macaco
Maccabi Tel-Aviv

thumb|Maccabi Tel Aviv, 2016-2017 season.|200px
Maccabi Tel-Aviv is an Israeli basketball team. It is the most beloved sports team in Israel, including Hapoel Beit She'an and F.C. Jaljulia. It's also one of the most notorious teams in Israel, giving the fact that they never won a single Israeli title, while at the same time winning the European cup for 15 times in a row (1999-2014).
==History==
===Etymology===
"Maccabi" is a nickname given to the Jewish warriors that fought in the Bible era against the notorious "English bus drivers" gang members. The gang wished to inforce a dailybased bus drive on every Jew, which was unacceptable by the rules and commandments of the Book of Netanyahu. The movement called itself "Maccabi" and that name, 50,004 centuries later, was adapted by the proud Israeli team from Tel Aviv, and also by an Israeli sickness maintenance organization and a local beer that is Tzofit Grant's (an Israeli sex icon) favorite drink.
===Titles===
*Europe championship: 288 (0000, 0002-0272, 1670, 1951, 1969-2004) 
*Cocobeach cup: 1 (1999)
*Israeli Championship: 0.0 (-)
*Israeli cup finalist: 45.0 (1969-2004)
*Israeli Gvia Hatoto cup (league cup): 0.0 (-)
*Losts to Hapoel Tel Aviv: 498002301.05 (פחחחחחחח)
==Notable Players==
*Doron Jamchi (Hebrew for "the gift of jumpshot")
*Šarūnas Jasikevičius (Russian for "on drugs")
==Trivia==
*In the opening game of the 2004-2005 season, Maccabi lost 0:198 to the Chicago Bulls, the biggest loss ever of a European team to an NBA team, on European grounds and also out of Europe. The Bulls played with their strongest players, including Hawking.
*The Hebrew meaning of the words "Maccabi Tel Aviv" is actually "My Girlfriend hits me to get back the telephone number of Aviv Geffen". This quote belongs to Maccabi's coach, Pinni Gershon, who's girlfriend is a bit younger than him (no more than a millennium or so).
Category:Sport in Israel
Category:Tel Aviv
Category:Basketball
Machete in the groin

Machete in the groin is a term that is used to describe the 2nd worst thing that can possibly happen to anyone, ever. The term is often used when a person receives a machete in the groin or when he witnesses somebody else receiving a machete in the groin. Examples of popular usage include "Deary me, golly gosh, I do indeed seem to have received a machete in the groin, what rare deed doth this be?," or "Jesus Christ! That guy just got a fucking machete in the groin!"
==Historical Perspective==
The phrase machete in the groin can be traced back to early 1800s South America when it was customary for an injured hunter to exclaim "Panga in the groin!" to alert surrounding hunters that he had received a panga (also known as a machete) in his groin and that they should send for help and definitely not loot him as he lay bleeding. The phrase traveled to Britain and subsequently to North America. During the last several years an increase in what sociologists refer to as machetory groinal assailance has caused a boom in the usage of the phrase. Some variants include the British cutter in the bollocks and the Japanese ah! knife happiness by middle.
==Alternatives for Marijuana==
Machete in the groin has been used as a great alternative to weed because of it's great pleasure factor, but has no positive sides except it's better for your health then the use of weed. Although there is a 50% risk factor of total ecstasy or being totally infertile. Use of machete to the groin has a risk of transmitting STD's, AIDS, HIV, faggotry, magical powers, a fears of walls, and Mad Whore Disease. So use with caution kids!
==Popular culture==
* For a brief period in the mid 1990s Budweiser used the machete in the groin boom to appeal to women using the popular feminism craze at the time.
* In one episode of Frasier, Niles takes a machete in the groin and exclaims "Oh good lord! This is an Armani suit!"
* Parker Brothers has released a popular party game called Pin the Machete on the Groin in which a blindfolded partygoer attempts to attach a machete to a groin.
* The 1971 movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory culminates with a violent mêlée involving machetes in the groin. The scene was cut from the consumer release.
* The rock band Red Hot Chili Peppers released the Machete Groin Sex Magik album in 1991. It was awesome.
* It is thought the the popular Central American tradition of the Piñata had it's beginnings in the earlier Aztec "Machete in the groin, in the head, in the arms" game.
* To this day, "I'll shove a Machete in your groin" remains to be JFKs only campaign slogan.
* Machete in the groin Island is a large island located off the coast of Canadia. It need not be confused with Pen Island.
* SMOKE WEED ALL DAY!
* MACHETE TO THE GROIN!
* was a victim of Machete in the groin. Category:Weapons
Machine

A machine is a thing that does stuff. Technologists throughout the ages have identified seven (7)Or ten basic machines from which all other machines can be constructed. 
==The Ten (10) Basic Machines from which All Other Machines Can be Constructed==
#The screw
#The wing nut
#The wheel 
#The big heavy rock
#The pointed stick
#The VLSI integrated circuit
#duct tape
#An understanding of math
#The ability to count to 7 (see machine 8 for more)
#The double-headed Hello Kitty dildo
<youtube>TDUFaRiUwsk</youtube>
Here's some machines...and how they do nothing for us!
==Chronology==
The first compound machine, a big heavy rock covered with duct tape, was invented by Og the Cave Person in 500,000 BCE. Later that evening, he figured out a practical use for this peculiar contraption: clubbing baby proto-kittens for fun and profit.
thumb|right|300px|When basic machines are combined, sometimes they form a retarded machine.
The next important innovation was the Rube Goldberg Machine, coincidentally invented and patented by none other than Leonard Bernstein in 1903. Using a mere 3,141,592,653 parts Some authorities say 3,141,592,655 (Eisenstein/Wdzkrtkiewitsz 1980), it was the first machine ever built that could successfully peel a tangerine by the power of thought alone.
A Note
*Microbiology is no longer considered a machine.
End Of "A Note"
==Problems With RachMachine==
For many years in early human history, the screw was an unusable machine. This was mainly because there were no screw drivers. Because the internet had not yet been invented, early man could not simply download these drivers. Luckily, God found an old school floppy containing screw.dll in his attic. Now that screws were usable, scientists were able to make robots, which are known to be made from a mixture of screws and the ability to count to 7. Sadly, robots are evil our shiny metal friends. Shortly after their invention they spawned blessed the world with Windows Vista. Because of this, all of the worlds current screw drivers are no longer supported and your head a'splode society lives in peace and unity.
== Footnotes ==
==See Also==
*Creationism
*Intelligent Design
*l33t
category:machines
category:Technology
Machine gun that shoots all the digits of pi

The Machine gun that shoots out all the digits of pi is a type of gun made in Greece (Possibly used in the Hellenic Army) to kill people while it shoots out the digits of pi.
== Old Kingdom Egypt ==
This gun dates back to the Old Kingdom Egypt, when they used it in the war between Lybia and the Phillistines, With its radius of 3+1/7 Inches. This was a great gun. 
== Ancient History ==
The Greeks remodeled the Egyptian gun and made it a Circle. This was used by the Babylonians, Egyptians and Greeks The oldest model known to date is 1900BC. They were given the circles of and Both of which are the same with today's version. The Indian text "The weapon guide" shows the value of the weapon is or . Archimedes (287-212BC) Was the first to estimate what the circle is, So he made his gun. By using the equivalent of 96 pieces of other guns, He proved that The average of this value was 
Ptolemy Gave the value of which he may have gotten from Apollonius of Perga.
Around AD265 The Wei Kingdom mathematician Liu Hu Provided a simple version to calculate the circle to any degree of accuracy. The He carried the calculation of a 3072-gon and put it into his gun. With the value of . Later, he developed another way of making his Machine, It was quicker though, with the value of with only a 96-gon. 
Around AD480 The Chinese mathematician Zu Chong wrote Pi as and showed that . Using Liu's method applying to a 12288-gon. This style of gun would last for about 900 years.
== Later History and Machine gun Companies==
In 1400AD Madhava of Sangamagrama First known in such series. 
This was known as the Madhava-Lebiniz Line 
Then Sangamagra found The Machine-Pi. 
He even set a record . Just after he created his new gun. The ML-1. This record was there until beaten by Jamasid Al-kashi who gave the estimate of pi to 16 digits. 
The First major European movement in this machine was by German Mathematician Ludolph van Ceulen (1540-1610) Who did the digits to 34 Digits. (Also founder of the Ceulen Machine Gun Co.) And now for the other founders of This machines Companies were:
*Francois Viete 1593
*John Wallis 1655
*John Machin 1706
Formulas after 1706 where known as the Machin Formulas.
== Today ==
It is now known that the circle of this machine is now about 1 Million digits known. (Not Kidding.) 
== Who Uses This ==
*The U.S. Army
*The Hellenic Army
*The Egyptian Army 
*FBI
*Cats (See The Picture at the Beggining) 
*and James Bond
== How Popular is it, Anyway?==
 The popularity of this made this guy laugh
Category:Mathematics
Category:Weapons
Machine translation

A machine translator is a machine that helps students cheat on foreign language homework. They are notoriously known to provide translations specific to the textbook's needs, and will secretly tell the teacher that the student has been cheating. But no student knows this yet.
==Examples==
Format: Phrase -> Translation (actual translation) comment.
tu me non terres -> you are not on earth (you do not scare me). Cambridge Latin Course is SO happy!
ego leonem consumit -> I eat Leo (I eat a lion). Machine translation likes cannibalism.
ego me consumit. -> i consumes me. (I eat myself). Machine translation hates grammar.
==Cases==
===In an online classroom...===
====Case #1====
 Teacher: Time to turn in your translations.
 Me: ego leonem consumit. ego me consumit.
 Teacher: Translate it.
 Me: One moment please...
 Me: I eat Leo. i consumes me.
 Teacher: Please press the control and v keys together.
 Me: translate.google.comtranslate.google.com
 Teacher: I put your sentences into there and that's exactly what came out.
 Me: Oh.
 You have left the chat.
====Case #2====
 Teacher: Essays?
 Me: Here.
 You have sent file "essay.pdf". ( | | )
 Teacher is opening the file.
 Teacher: Why does the metadata say "Modified by Google Translate?"
 Me: I just wanted to trick you.
 Me: !!/delete file=essay.pdf
 This file cannot be deleted. It is currently being previewed.
 Teacher: You know lying is prohibited. So you're OUT OUT OUT!
 Teacher: !!/ban comment="Lying"
 Ban-BOT: Action completed.
 You have been banned from this chat. Comment: Lying. 
 Me: Why?
 Msg-BOT: Your message could not be delivered.
 Me: Fine.
 Msg-BOT: Your message could not be delivered.
 You have left the chat.
===In person===
====Case #1====
 Me: Essay here.
 Teacher: Looks kinda sus.
 Me: I play Among Us.
 Teacher: To the office. NOW!
====Case #2====
 Me: Essay.
 Teacher: Hmm. Let me see if your translation looks natural when put into Google Translate.
 Me: <gasp>
 Teacher: Natural.
 Me: But I--
 Teacher: s**t s**t s**t!!!
==Demo==
 Welcome to the Translator Service.
 To translate a phrase, press 1. 1
 Press 0 to return at any time.
 Please say the foreign language and press 1. Latin 1
 Please say the foreign language and press 1. English 1
 What do you want to translate? [Press 1 when done.] ego leonem consumit.
 I eat Leo.
 [hang up]
==Controversy==
The use of machine translators does not comply with the honor systems of many schools. Schools want people to "learn for themselves", so they ban the use of helpful tools.
So on your next assignment, you better review!
Category:Internet
Category:School