The Great Honey Prohibition (The Book of Pooh Lost Episode)

Okay so I'm not really sure on how to start this thing off, but I suppose I should probably begin by introducing myself. My name is Detective Inspector Bishop and as you may have guessed I am a detective and inspector for the London police department. Being a detective ain't no cake walk I'll tell you that much, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that it was a pretty cool job. I mean investigating the links between crimes and arresting perps who try to steal TV's? It's what I live for! I joined the force in around 2006. I was just a simple policeman back then, but my superiors quickly noticed that I had perfect interrogation skills which were better suited for a detective than a simple patrolman which is what led to me getting promoted. I very quickly earned my current title after a series of successful cases. Though it all came crashing down just a couple years back. It al started when I arrested a rhino man hybrid thing named Jeremy Cole. Jeremy Cole and his buddies were trying to rob the local pharmacist in Newport. They were running to rob some painkillers which they would then sell the black market. Also, Cole and his friends were incredibly dangerous as they were carrying laser guns. A customer and part-time milkman named Brian Gallick tried to save the pharmacist by throwing milk bottles at Cole who responded to it by shooting at Gallick with his laser gun. This caused Gallick to spontaneously combust while I led Jeremy Cole and his insane followers to my patrol car outside. So how did that destroy my reputation I hear you asking, well let me tell you.
After I got done charging Cole and his fellow rhino hybrids, I was horrified to learn from my superiors that I had gotten everything wrong. In reality, Jeremy was threatening the pharmacist and was actually just showing off his cool new laser gun. He was also only at the store so's he could pick up some headache tablets. It turned out that Brian Gallick was the true enemy all along as he was actually a major drug dealer who owns a lot of fields which produce poppies. He also has very exotic tastes shall we say as someone once caught him dining at a morgue party or something. My superiors from that point on began to lose their trust in me as I was in their words beginning to become something of a loose cannon. Now, I myself did not see anything different in the way I was handling my cases, but they clearly did as they put me under the constant watch of my direct supervisor and arch nemesis; Chief Inspector Grobbelaar. Grobbelaar is in charge of the CID, but he also maintains control over all of the detectives who work at the police department including yours truly. Oh! Grobbelaar while he acted all nice whenever the Commissioners were around, he would lose that happy little charade once they disappeared. He was a tight fisted hand at the candy cane he was! He was also very vain as he often forced me to pick the suspects that he believed had committed the crime. If I ever arrested a person he didn't want arrested, he'd let me know about! Oh he let know about it! Failing to arrest the correct person results in me being forced to do some street work which basically involves sweeping the streets with a broomstick. Sounds lovely doesn't it my pork?
This is actually where our story really begins, as Grobbelaar finally decided to throw me a bone. Not literally of course because I'm no dog mister! Yes, most of the time Grobbelaar didn't assign me to a real case and just gave me mind numbingly boring things to do like mailing letters to Santa and watching Muppets Wizard Of Oz at max volume with the windows open much to the chagrin of my co-workers. Anyway, I was sitting in my dimly lit office drinking from a mug of coffee as Grobbelaar came barging in holding my next case file. He threw the file right down in front of me which of course caused me to spill boiling hot coffee all over my brand trousers! It's rather messy stuff you know that? "Hi Grobbelaar! What's the story? What's the word hummingbird?" I sang which caused Grobbelaar to slap me very aggressively as he then said, "shut your mouth boy! I got a case for you, and it's a big one too. The Commissioners are out of town right now so i want you to handle this case for them." "So what's the case then?" I inquired as I got up from my desk and placed my iconic fedora atop my head. "Hmm; well you see, there's been a recent influx of honey jars going missing all around London. It's something of an epidemic you could say." Grobbelaar explained as he then continued with, "Mayor Tilton had a personal stash of 50 jars, and they've all gone missing!" So, Grobbelaar wanted me to find the culprit and the reason for all the stolen jars of honey. He even went as far as to say that the unknown assailant had began stealing honey fresh from honey farms like Hon Ron and Honey O'Hare. "So what's in it for me if I manage to crack the case?" I inquired whilst flashing an iconic grin.
If I was able to solve the case, Grobbelaar promised me that I would be awarded a medal at City Hall by Old Man Patton himself, and by that I of course mean by Mayor Tilden himself. "Now get going! You better solve this thing quick. The DA does not want an egg in his ass!" Grobbelaar barked harshly as he left my office farting violently as he did so. Also before we go on, I should mention that while walking down the hallway Grobbelaar made a quick stop at the bulletin board and proceeded to tear off all the pictures that were attached to it. Oh the rude carrot onion! I could not believe this! Honey jars going missing! What's next a washing machine in a car? So, I started scouting around the city in a desperate attempt to find the men or women responsible for this heinous crime. I spent the next two days searching until I was eventually intercepted in the streets outside my local Asda by District Attorney Aloysius O'Hare. Otherwise known as the man who found a way to sell air! O'Hare was sitting inside of his bulletproof limo and proceeded to look at me with the cheesiest face you'd ever see. With the assistance of his bodyguards, O'Hare was able to get out from the car with his bodyguards helping him get out of the vehicle. He looked at me with contempt as he asked, "you the guy whose looking for the honey?" "That's me Mr O'Hare but..." I was rudely cut off as O'Hare grabbed me by the neck and lifted me high up into the early afternoon sky. "Listen here you little punk. Maybe you should stop sticking your nose into things that you don't really understand. Honey companies are a threat to my company; O'Hare Air." O'Hare then proceeded to drop me down onto the floor as he then laughed a mighty laugh as he proclaimed, "I'm just pulling your hairy leg Bishop! Listen; if you want to know what happened to the honey jars pay a visit to this address." He then handed me a small card which had potato sauce all over it before he made his leave in his bulletproof limo.
After O'Hare made his departure, I checked the address and saw that it was an address to the public toilets over at Lincoln Park. I knew that O'Hare was just playing me for a fool, but in a moment of sheer stupidity I decided to check the place. Arriving at the public toilets, I held a handkerchief up to my nose as quite frankly the bathrooms smelt really bad. Like seriously, they legit smelt like rat piss. I headed inside the bathroom only to find that there was nobody there or at least that's what I thought at first. I could hear a small whimpering sound coming from one of the stalls. I opened the stall up only to find a cute little robot sitting on the toilet. I had a thing for robots. Still do as a matter of fact. After getting a good look at the robot, I began to put two and two together. This wasn't no ordinary robot! This was the former mascot for the O2 company. O2 had hired the robot to serve as their mascot, but ended up exiling him after he failed to market the company's free lunch campaign. The little robot was wise and knew that O2 were just trying to scam innocent people out of their pound coins. The company claimed that by signing up to O2 you would be able to get free lunch every Monday, but in reality you were only able to get free lunch every Thursday. When the robot whose name is Jerry Bot refused to take part in the scam, O2 responded by putting a hit out on him. The story goes that Jerry killed all 11 hitmen who were sent to kill him with his bare hands and this earned him the nickname of, "The Swedish Meatball." Not really sure why he earned that nickname since no meatballs were involved in the killing of those two hitmen, but in any case, I asked Jerry if he knew anything about the stolen honey jars and smiled an iconic grin. Jerry got up from the toilet he was sitting on and reached underneath the seat and pulled out a small blank DVD case which had honey stains all over it. Also something I probably should have mentioned earlier in the doc is that I cannot stand honey! In fact, I'm pretty sure I have an allergy to it but I'll have to check that fact with my doctor and get back to you okay love?
I scanned the DVD over, and I thought I could see something. There were no lights in the bathroom so it was incredibly hard to make out. I pulled a little torch out from my ear and used it to light up the scene. Sure enough; on the front cover of the DVD there was a teeny tiny picture of Winnie The Pooh which had been drawn in pickle beets. Pickle beets! Oh no! "What's this DVD got to do with the stolen honey jars?" I inquired to which Jerry responded with, "what are you fucking stupid? That DVD contains a never before seen episode of The Book Of Pooh which was produced by O'Hare Air in a vain attempt by the company to get into Disney's good books." According to Jerry, O'Hare Air made the episode in order to get in good with Disney as O'Hare planned on hiring Disney to make a movie all about his life. The movie was to be called, "O'Hare Air: The O'Hare Story," and Bruce Willis was scheduled to play O'Hare. Sadly, the project was shelved as according to Jerry Disney executives hated the episode as it was way too dark and violent for their preschool themed network; Playhouse Disney which as you may have guessed is the channel that The Book Of Pooh plays on. "Thing is; not long after that meeting with Disney that's when the honey jars started disappearing. Now at first everyone blamed it on the bees as they have become very greedy as of late, but recently all hands have been pointing at O'Hare. He's a very clever cookie though and is tricking the public into thinking he's an innocent man by hiring the police to search for the culprits of the stolen honey jars." I thanked Jerry for giving me the DVD, and asked if he'd like to watch it with me but he declined as he wasn't quite ready to earn his keep. I understood and left the restroom catching a cab back to the police station. Running down the hallways, I was intercepted by Chief Inspector Grobbelaar. Turns out I had been searching around town a lot longer than I thought I had done, and this caused Grobbelaar to begin making noises about my pension.
Chief Inspector Grobbelaar was very angry with how long it was taking for me to get some results on the stolen honey jars. I grabbed Grobbelaar by the shoulder as I said, "Inspector I have a line of inquiry." "What the hell does that mean? You come to me as soon as you've got some results otherwise you're gonna find yourself on a Molinari block getting in touch with your cat side." I was about to bring up the fact that I had been the best tennis player at the police academy, but at that point Grobbelaar had already left the scene to have a Skype call with Mayor Tilton. Defeated, I snuck into my office and sat down at my desk as i pondered a ponder on how to proceed. With nothing else to do, I made myself a cup of coffee and sat back down at my desk when I remembered the DVD that Jerry gave me. I reached inside the pockets of my large bulky overcoat and pulled the DVD out. I remembered Jerry telling me that this DVD supposedly had all the answers to the stolen honey jars. A never before seen episode of The Book Of Pooh was the key to the great honey jar fiasco? Hmm I think not! Oh how foolish I was back then for thinking that! For those of you not in on the loop, The Book Of Pooh was a show based on The Winnie The Pooh franchise which used puppets in order to showcase the adventures of Pooh and his friends. Despite not lasting very long, only having two seasons from 2001 to 2004. The show has developed a large cult following and is currently as I'm writing this the highest viewed program ever on Disney+. Now that took some doing. I headed over to the TV in my office and plopped the disc into the DVD player. I keep a TV and DVD player in my office in order to distract myself when I'm supposed to be working hut you didn't hear that from me. I sat back down on my chair and began sipping my coffee violently as the episode began by showing an extremely spicy and downright DISGUSTING advertisement.
The advert had two smelly men named Gary and Neil sitting on sun loungers. "Well here goes another lame Saturday!" Gary whined as Neil meanwhile pulled a bottle of O'Hare Air from his ice cooler as he proclaimed, "dude I don't think so!" Suddenly, a loud army of BBC extras came rushing in as a massive party ensued. "What?" Gary asked. He wasn't even acting. He sounded genuinely confused which may be because he has tuberculous. That's not even a joke so why the heck are you laughing about? Neil meanwhile kept bloody laughing at things which weren't even funny and it got very annoying very fast. Also at one point in the ad, this really ugly looking rat faced woman winked at the screen which made me gag violently. I held a tissue up to my mouth in order to keep myself from vomiting. After the SICK advertisement ended, the main theme song of The Book Of Pooh began to play. It was just so wrong as for starters, Pooh appeared to be very camera shy as he refused to come out from behind the oak tree. Eeyore kept farting violently, Kessie ended up crashing into a nearby skip and died instantly upon impact, and none of the main cast were singing the song. In fact, the theme was being sung by a man who sounded like he had a really bad cold or maybe even TB. Could it have been Gary? Well, that certainly would explain a lot if that was the case. Also, the theme ended with a nuke being dropped on the Hundred Acre Wood causing a massive explosion in the process. And with that, the episode finally started with the book opening up to reveal the name of the episode.
The episode was entitled, "The Great Honey Prohibition." Now, something you probably don't know about me is that I am actually a pretty massive Winnie The Pooh fan so when I saw that title I was very confused indeed. For, I had seen every single episode of The Book Of Pooh but I ain't never seen an episode named that before. "Hmm interesting!" I proclaimed as I began to smoke from a pipe as the episode finally began with Pooh and Piglet having a picnic in the Hundred Acre Wood. It's worth noting that Mr Narrator was not in this episode, not that minded anyway as I always hated that prick. Even when I wore a younger man's clothes. Pooh was very irritable about the fact that there didn't seem to be any honey in the Hundred Acre Wood. This is when Pooh decided that he was going to have to put matters into his own hands and steal some honey for himself from a nearby bee nest. Sadly, there seemed to also be no beehives nearby, as Pooh and Piglet spent the next several hours scanning all the oak trees in an attempt to find a hive suitable for Pooh's desires.
Eventually, Pooh decided to give up the search and sat down on a small stump as he said, "oh bother what are we going to do now Piglet?" That's when Piglet noticed a large bumblebee hive located just underneath the tree stump that Pooh was sitting on. "Pooh look down there!" Piglet proclaimed happily which caused Pooh to glare him as he said in a very threatening tone of voice, "Piglet there's no need to shout." That's when Piglet drew Pooh's attention towards the bumblebee nest located beneath his tree stump and the pair decided that it was a time for classic breaking and entering. Piglet was an expert at breaking and entering as you may already known if you've been reading the Official Winnie The Pooh Strategy Guide No 69. it's quite the read I must say! I have about five copies stacked up at my apartment. Of course getting inside the nest was going to be no small feet so Pooh and Piglet were going to need to dawn some disguises. The pair disguised themselves as big old bumblebees and knocked on the door of the hive. Two guard bees opened the door up and they looked very miserable. "Where the hell have you guys been?" One of the guard bees asked as he then continued with, "somebody spilt something in the conference room." The second guard then began ushering Pooh and Piglet inside the hive. To Pooh's dismay, the entire hive appeared to be devoid of honey. While the guards escorted the pair towards the conference room, Pooh made an excuse to use the bathroom and on his travels he came across the honey containment unit. Pooh headed inside the unit without wearing any safety gear which is a big no no in bee world. The containment unit was basically just a large storage facility which was used to hold all of the hive's honey. Once again much to Pooh's dismay, he found the containment room to be of no use and this is of course when he was spotted by another guard bee.
Pooh meanwhile had stuck himself inside a large bowl which was used to sir the nectar, and his fat ass must of disgusted the bee as he began gagging violently. The bee then pulled a large whistle out from it's antenna and gave a big old blow as waves upon waves of bees all came flying into the containment room and charged at Pooh. Poor old Pooh was flung across the entire containment room. Piglet meanwhile ditched the scene and was just chilling outside the hive reading a newspaper on stocks and the fact that Henry Tomasino wants Owl to apologize for some tweets he sent to the Walkers company over 10 years ago. Some people just can't take a joke can they? In any case, Pooh pleaded for Piglet to come and rescue him with, "Piglet! Piglet! Help me!" Eventually, Pooh was thrown out from the hive and he seemed to be rather impassive about the whole thing as did Piglet. From behind the pair, the swarm of bees came but they were stopped from coming any further when Piglet said, "we just want about what happened to the honey." "Honey?" One of the bees asked as it started laughing hysterically as did all the other bees. "What's so funny?" Pooh inquired to which the bee responded with, "well didn't you read this morning's paper ay ole Pooh Bear? President Jesus Quesadilla has declared that all honey companies and hives are to be condemned for all eternity." According to the bees, President Quesadilla had ordered the boycotting of all honey after he received a dodgy jar of honey from his homie Greg The Peg. The honey contained in that jar was so rancid that poor ole Quesadilla had to be admitted to the hospital. After leaving the hospital, Quesadilla made his soul goal to eradicate honey from the planet forever! "So you're saying that there's no honey anywhere?" Pooh asked but he got no answer as the bees all disappeared in a flash of light. What was Pooh going to do without his daily fix of honey? "Hmm perhaps Rabbit has some honey." Pooh said to himself as he and Piglet decided to pay good ole Rabbit a visit.
Over at Castle De Rabbit, Rabbit was shown picking some carrots out from his garden. Tigger was also there and he ended up making a real fucking mess of Rabbit's garden. Lately. Tigger had it out for Rabbit after a visit to the local candy factory in Santa Monica went horribly wrong. Upon entering the factory, Tigger started eating chocolate from the lake only to learn from the curator that he was actually eating from the sewage line. On their way back home, Rabbit revealed that he knew that Tigger had been eating sewage but he declined to say anything as quite frankly he loved seeing Tigger suffer. That is one sadistic Rabbit! Just then over the hill, Rabbit could see something coming over the horizon. Grabbing a pair of binoculars off from an old rocking chair, Rabbit was able to see Pooh and Piglet running down a nearby hill. Knowing that Pooh had come for the last of his honey supply, Rabbit ran inside his house and barricaded himself inside. "I know this may seem a little drastic." Rabbit said to the audience as he then continued with, "but I just can't risk Pooh Bear eating my entire honey supply! I've only got 5 jars left and they're the last in the entire Hundred Acre Wood!" Sadly, Rabbit's makeshift barricade failed to hold Pooh back for long as he easily managed to break the door down with his immense strength. Entering the house, Pooh asked, "oh Rabbit you wouldn't happen to have some honey for a friend in need would you?" "Nope! No honey whatsoever!" Rabbit proclaimed happily. it was clear to both Piglet and Tigger that Rabbit was lying, but Pooh was unable to see through his ruse and bought the lie instantly. "Oh buggering buggerton! What am I going to do?" Pooh asked Piglet who responded with, "hmm I may have an idea Pooh. You just sit down at Rabbit's table while I get you something to eat."
Sitting down at Rabbit's table, Pooh was rather dismayed to learn that Piglet had decided to cook him up a foul smelling oyster stew. "Say Piglet where's Tigger and Rabbit?" Pooh asked as he began poking at the stew with his fork. "They're at Tesco shopping for carrot cakes and vanilla flavoured spotted dick." Piglet explained. "Spotted what!?" Pooh cried at the very top of his lungs as Piglet then tried his best to shove some of the smelly stew down Pooh's gob. Pooh looked rather tired as he said, "no thank you Piglet!" "Why not give it a try why not give it a trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry!" Piglet sang. He sang like that for a good two hours and by the end of those two hours, Pooh looked really confused as he realised that Piglet was not going to let up. He decided to feign an excuse and claimed that the oyster stew was far too hot to eat right now, and he suggested that he and Piglet go pay Kanga a quick visit. Pooh and Piglet made their way over to Kanga's house and it's worth mentioning that the pair looked stoned as their eyes looked very drousey. Eventually, the pair reached Kanga's house and somehow Pooh managed to trick Kanga into thinking that Piglet was her long lost son. Not really sure how Kanga fell for Pooh's tricks, but she seemed to be rather out of character as she then took Piglet inside the house with her and began torturing her. She shoved Piglet into her kitchen sink and began scrubbing him which caused his shirt to swell up like a balloon. Piglet then started crying like a little bitch, and ran out of the house all the while getting chased down by the Men of The Cloth. The Men of the Cloth were very angry with Piglet as he had began blaming them for the butchers not working on Christmas day. Oh Piglet haven't you learned anything you silly little Dickens? Charge their doings to them not us.
Meanwhile, Pooh hid behind an old oak tree as he debated on what to do now. That's when he came across an old too familiar face. Honey Monster was out on his afternoon jog and greeted Pooh happily as he passed him. Honey Monster was wearing a thick red jumpsuit and on the back of the jumpsuit there was an advertisement for O'Hare Air. Honey Monster made his way down the lane failing to notice that Pooh had begun to follow him. Some really annoying fish came on screen and began singing the Mission Impossible theme. I got very angry and threatened to call my lawyer which caused the fish to pull incredibly shocked faces as they left the scene changed fish never to be seen again. They were last seen up at Truffula Forest getting high on the oil fumes. Some story. Some fish. Honey Monster was jogging for awhile until he eventually came across a large toll bridge which went all the way up to Nottingham. Two men in well dressed suits sat the edge of the toll bridge drinking cups of tea and eating scones. One of the men was named William Gates while the other was a man named Simon Jeal. Pooh hid behind a large boulder as he remarked, "I can't believe it it's William Gates." Thanks to a brief flashback sequence, I was able to learn that William Gates was a honey dealer from Kentucky who had gotten rich from selling the stuff due to his uncle being a beekeeper. His uncle was known for keeping the best bees in the entire country. Although on the surface, Williams' uncle appeared to have a good relationship with the bees he was actually very nasty to them. He used to shove the bees up his ears and even up his nose as he was quite the funny man, and yet in a curious twist I think he has something to lose.
Honey Monster started chatting with Gates as a large truck pulled up on the scene. The truck's doors opened up revealing it to be full to the brim with jar upon jar of honey. "Looks good. Real good. How much you want for it?" Honey Monster inquired to which Gates responded with, "how much you got?" Honey Monster pulled out two large suitcases full of green dollars as he said, "tens and twenties used." "I think we have a deal my friend!" Gates responded happily as he went to go and pick the suitcases up only for the honey trade off to be ambushed by a bunch of Italian wise guys. One of the wise guys was carrying a Lupara and shot Gates in the chest with it killing him instantly. However, both Honey Monster and Simon Jeal were able to escape the scene unharmed. The wise guys started helping themselves to the content of the truck when they heard a rustling from behind a nearby bush. Since they were very scared, all the wise guys decided to investigate the noise together. While they were distracted, Pooh got into the truck and drove his way back through the Hundred Acre Wood until he reached his house. Upon realising that the truck was now missing, one of the wise guys remarked, "oh man the Boss is not gonna like this!" Pooh after reaching his house decided to unload the truck into his living room. Pooh couldn't believe how much honey there was. It was enough to last him at least a year! Maybe even longer. That's when an incredibly fat lady appeared and forced Pooh to face her. "I'll take one large jar please." The old lady said as she handed Pooh a $20 bill. "This is actually my..." Pooh was cut off as the old lady then introduced herself as Debra Willington and said, "how much do you want? How's about $500? You don't understand son. The honey is not for me. It's for me bastard grandson. He's the restless type know what I'm saying?" "Not really." Pooh responded nonchalantly.
Thinking that he had nothing to lose, Pooh handed Debra a large jar of honey as she shoved a huge stack of dollar bills into Pooh's mouth as she then made her leave. On her way back home, Debra suddenly felt very tired and decided to have a little rest on a nearby bench. Upon sitting down, Debra decided to give this honey a little taste just to make sure it didn't have any rat poison in it as that's what killed Richard, but you didn't hear that from me. Oh man the taste! Debra had never tasted anything quite like it in all her days! She had to tell someone about this! Pooh meanwhile with help from Piglet, Rabbit, and Tigger had began unloading the jars of honey into his house when all of the sudden a large group of people came singing through the hills behind Pooh's house. It was like a cult coming down the hill! They were singing about how everybody needs some honey and how they hoped they weren't too late to buy some of Pooh's stock. Pooh's attempts to explain that the honey was actually for himself and himself alone quickly fell on deaf ears as all the people began throwing money at him. Realising he had a little business opportunity right in front of him, Pooh decided to start selling the honey. But there was one question which was worrying ole Pooh Bear. What was he going to do when he ran out of honey to sell? Hmm, that's when Pooh came up with another brilliant idea. He would make contact with Simon Jeal and become his partner in the honey trade. In order to prevent himself from getting hungry, Pooh made sure to keep his own personal stash of honey in his office at all times. Rabbit after witnessing the whole song and dance display turned to face Piglet and Tigger as he asked, "you thinking what I'm thinking?" The pair nodded as the screen cut to black.
The episode then came back to show a time montage as Pooh and his friends became the main honey suppliers not just for the Hundred Acre Wood but for the entire country. Pooh, Piglet, Rabbit, and Tigger all became very wealthy and bought their very own super mansion. Pooh was easily able to convince Simon Jeal to do business with him, and claimed to be William Gates' twin brother. The resemblance is uncanny I must say! Pooh started opening a series of legitimate fronts across the Woods including a sowing factory, a plastic surgery ran by none other than Doctor Bellwether himself, and many other things including a hair salon. Over night, Pooh had become the official kingpin of Hundred Acre Wood, but sadly his rise to power had not appeased everyone. Least of all Owl. For it had been Owl who ordered for the honey shipment to be stolen and for Gates to be killed. He wanted the honey all for himself, but Pooh had beaten his men to the punch. Realising that Pooh was far too powerful now to be at risk of getting taken down, Owl came to the realisation that drastic measures were going to need to be taken. Owl's part-time lover Gordon tried his best to convince Owl to forget about the stolen honey shipment and suggested that the pair take a crap in the chapter room as it could be fun. "I wish I could Gordo, but I can't allow that prick Pooh to rub his shit in my face know what I mean?" Owl asked as he began making some phone calls... or well rather just one phone call. He had decided to call good ole Commissioner Al Priss. It would appear that you're the one who needs to learn a lesson Owl. Al Priss is not to be trusted!
That evening, Rabbit inside the living room of his newly acquired mansion drinking from a cup of tea as the entire room began shaking violently. "Whoa what's happening?" Rabbit asked as he got up from his chair and made his way over to the living room window and peered out. Al Priss and his fellow cops were right on the case. Rabbit had no time to inform the others as Al Priss and his fellow cops came barging through the front door at a mile a minute. Rabbit and Tigger were tackled to the ground by Al Priss who proclaimed, "I'm here for Pooh!" "Have you tried the bathroom?" Tigger joked which caused Al Priss to point a gun at his head. Thankfully, Al Priss was unable to kill Tigger as Pooh appeared on the scene and basically made up a bullshit sob story about honey is good and that corruption is the real evil. His speech brought the entire police force to tears while Al Priss busied himself by helping himself to one of Pooh's many coverlid honey jars. He ate from the jar with his bare hands as he remarked, "mm you tell him hon." Realising that they could use this to their advantage, Pooh promised Al Priss that he could have all the honey he could ever want just as long as he kept President Quesadilla from finding out about it. Al Priss agreed happily to the terms and conditions and made his leave farting violently as he did so. Sadly, Pooh and the others were so overjoyed by the fact that Al Priss was leaving that they failed to notice that a really weird looking ladybug robot camera thing was spying on them and it then left the scene and began flying all the way towards Owl's treehouse.
Not thinking that anything was up, Pooh and the others spent the next month expanding their empire across the entire country and felt safe now as they were under Al Priss' guaranteed protection. And no one would ever think about stepping on the toes of good ole Al Priss now would they? Pooh eventually began his very own successful music career going under the stage name of Winnie P. "Yo yo it's Winnie P what's up bitches?" Pooh would rap as he made his way dancing through the entire fucking Hundred Acre Wood much to the chagrin of Tigger and Rabbit. Oh, and Pooh very quickly became addicted to his own product and this caused him to become extremely paranoid. So paranoid in fact, that Pooh eventually had Tigger hung from a helicopter after believing him to be a police informant. He also forced Rabbit and Piglet under the threat of death to continue working for him otherwise he was going to hand the pair over to Grandmother Darth Vader who had also become one of Pooh's many partners in the trade. Rabbit and Piglet eventually managed to escape from Pooh. One night while Pooh was sound asleep in his master bedroom, the pair managed to sneak out of the house by using the cat flap. The pair then caught a train to New Hampshire in order to begin a business in waste disposal as ole Rabbit had quite the interest in waste disposal like some kind of Henry Tomasino. Meanwhile, the ladybug spy bot transmitted this information to Owl who responded with, "now we take on Pooh Bear." The following evening at dusk, Owl and his Cartel left his treehouse and got ready to storm Pooh's mansion. Sadly, Pooh was so sad over the fact he killed Tigger that he spent the entire evening sulking in his office and eating honey. He hoped to eat so much honey that he would pop like a big ole balloon.
Owl and his army made their way inside the mansion and were easily able to make their way into Pooh's office. "Owl is in the house motherfuckers!" Owl proclaimed at the very top of his lungs as he picked up Pooh with his feathers and lifted him high up into the sky. "Come on Owl you gonna kill him or not?" Gordon whined. Yes, Gordon is actually a stone cold killer. I mean why do you think they call him a ladykiller anyhow? Those aren't chocolate buttons ya know? Owl eventually threw Pooh out the window and he went flying all the way up to Hushaby Mountain. "Oh bother." Pooh said sadly as he crashed into the side of Hushaby Mountain. The sheer impact was enough to kill Pooh instantly. Owl meanwhile made himself right at home but that's when Al Priss and his cops appeared on the scene and began fighting against Owl's Cartel. Al Priss was most likely looking for the revenge for the death of Pooh Bear. Even though Al Priss refused to believe that Tigger was a stoolie. Owl began flying out of the Mansion carrying a large jar of honey in his talons. Al Priss began shooting at Owl as he cried, "shoot him down boys!" Sadly, Owl was easily to evade Al Priss and made his way outside of the Mansion and started flying towards the sunset only to then get shot down by Rabbit and Piglet. Owl fell to his death as Piglet and Rabbit decided to make themselves a lovely hot bowl of Owl Soup. Al Priss asked to join them as did Gordon and the rest of the police force.
While eating their delicious bowls of Owl Soup, Rabbit changed the channel over to the late night news and learned that President Quesadilla had announced that honey was no longer illegal at a press conference in Benning. Also, it's worth noting that Rabbit was actually watching the old news station meaning that this entire press conference had taken place a week ago. So Pooh and Owl had essentially died for nothing. Rabbit then began to ponder a ponder about whether or not society is to blame. After all, Pooh and Owl were both part of one. And with that, the episode ended with the normal credits but a SICK post credit scene came on screen which showed that rat faced woman from the O'Hare Air ad earlier. Remember that? I do... vividly. She winked at the screen which caused the screen to start cracking and for the DVD player to start having smoke fumes come out from it. Both the TV and the DVD player then blew up into a million tiny bite size pieces, but I managed to survive the whole ordeal unscathed by hiding behind my table. The sheer impact of the explosion was enough to send Grobbelaar down to my level and he came into the room as he said, "you probably should have practiced in the garage before stepping up to someone of my level." "Uh what?" I asked confused as Grobbelaar then cleared his throat before saying, "oh sorry about that frog in my throat. What I meant to say was is that Mr O'Hare would like to see you in his office. Come with me puppet." It was time for my own judgement day and I got ready to face the music as I followed Grobbelaar to Mr O'Hare's office which sat on the very top floor of the police station.
Inside his office, O'Hare was drinking a cup of tea with some of his homies as I was thrown down onto the floor by Grobbelaar. "So sexy." O'Hare said before continuing with, "a little birdie tells me you know the truth about the stolen honey jars now." "It was you wasn't it O'Hare?" I asked to which O'Hare responded by nodding his head. It all made sense now. The weird product placements for O'Hare Air and the contacts that were supplying Pooh with stolen honey. it all made sense! "Who told you?" I asked. O'Hare clicked his fingers as Grobbelaar pulled out Jerry Bot from his arse. The little robot had been beaten senseless and he looked at me with big sad eyes as he said, "I'm sorry Detective Inspector Bishop. They broke me." "You won't get away with this O'Hare!" I yelled angrily as I charged at him only to get restrained by O'Hare's two bodyguards. "Oh really? Ha ha! You and what army kid? You and what fucking army?" O'Hare joked to which I responded by spitting out cough drops which came into contact with O'Hare's eyes. O'Hare yelped in pain as he fell onto the floor and begged for his bodyguards and Grobbelaar to get the drops out. I made my way out of the office, but was noticed by Grobbelaar as he yelled, "look there goes Bishop! We can't allow that prick to see Tilton!" I made my way outside of the police station and stole a police cruiser but O'Hare and Grobbelaar were right on my case as they had stolen a nearby moped. A massive car chase then ensued until we finally reached City Hall where Mayor Mitchell Tilton was getting ready to present himself with a medal for bravery even though he had done nothing brave of the sort. That's when I came crashing through the walls of City Hall in my little car all the while getting chased down by O'Hare and Chief Inspector Grobbelaar.
I tried explaining my story and findings over to Mayor Tilton, and was horrified to learn that Tilton was in on the entire scheme. "Golly gosh Bishop you really are pathetic!" Grobbelaar remarked as he gave me a right good slap on the back. He truly was quite the bastard that Chief Inspector Grobbelaar! "What's going on?" I asked as O'Hare finally decided to explain his and Grobbelaar's evil plan before the rest of the police showed up to arrest me. Basically, Tilton's son in law: Simon Jeal yes the Simon Jeal from the episode runs Honey Farms. He had supplied Tilton with all his honey jars and all the honey jars from his various other honey based companies including Hon Ron and the like. By taking all the honey for themselves, the shelves became open for O'Hare to begin peddling his bottles of fresh air as his bottles just weren't selling as well as they used to back in 2012. I wonder why. No seriously, I legitimately wonder why. Once O'Hare takes all the shelf space, both he and Grobbelaar will reveal that I am the culprit behind the stolen honey jars and that Jerry Bot and I have dumped all of the jars into Lake Vernon. Believing that if we can't have the jars then no one can! "What a dumb fucking plan!" I remarked as I pulled a handgun out from my fedora and it aimed it directly at Grobbelaar's head. "Hey come on lad we were just kidding ya know?" Grobbelaar asked rhetorically as he then continued with, "what are you going to do with that gun?" "Something that should have been done a long time ago." I remarked as I shot a bullet directly behind Grobbelaar's head. Grobbelaar then began doing the chicken dance and gloated about how I failed to hit him. "I wasn't aiming at you." I said confidently whilst also pulling an iconic grin as the bullet hit Tilton's honey wardrobe causing the thing to open up and for jars upon jars to fall down onto the ground breaking into a million tiny bite size pieces.
The sheer amount of honey coming out from those jars caused a massive flood which ended up filling the entire City Hall as well as the streets outside. I however had always been an expert surfer in my past time so I was able to simply surf along the waves of honey. But the stubborn Grobbelaar was not so lucky as he and those bastards O'Hare and Mayor Tilton all clinged for dear life by hanging onto a nearby lamppost. After a couple hours, the flood eventually stopped and an angry mob gathered around City Hall. Just a riot was about to break loose a large group of police officers appeared on the scene. "Officers! Seize these men!" Mayor Tilton commanded at the very top of his lungs as both O'Hare and Grobbelaar were apprehended by the cops. "Hey what the hell are you doing with me? Mitchell I thought we were friends." O'Hare said as he was given a pair of teeny tiny handcuffs. Now that's pretty cute if I may say so myself. I waved at Grobbelaar and he glared back at me as he and O'Hare were escorted inside of a police cruiser. I laughed because while getting into the car Grobbelaar ended up knocking his head. "Those two are going to have a lot of explaining to do. Aren't they Chief Inspector Bishop?" Mayor Tilton asked as he placed his large meaty hand atop my shoulder. "What did you just call me?" I inquired as I turned around to face Tilton who simply responded by smiling an iconic grin of his own as he then said, "you heard me right Bishop. If you promise to not tell the cops that me and my son in law were involved, then I can guarantee you a promotion to Chief Inspector." He then continued with, "I mean with Grobbelaar in the big house it would be nice to have another honest man on the force would you not agree? So what do you say?" Tilton then stuck his hand out in order to cement the deal in a handshake, and after giving the matter some thought I eventually agreed to shake it. Wink.
As I sit here in my new office which formerly belonged to former Chief Inspector Grobbelaar, I begin to wonder if I've done the right thing. I mean sure both Grobbelaar and O'Hare have been put away, but what about Mayor Tilton and Simon Jeal? They're still out there! I however can't help but feel that I deserve this. As after all I've been pushed around for my entire life so it's about time that I finally got something good out of life. You know something? Now that I've had a little time to reassess my needs. I've realised that I need a bigger office, a bigger chair, and maybe even a bigger hat to wear. I intend to keep on biggering and biggering and you can complain all you want because now with Grobbelaar gone there's no one left to stand in my way. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get myself a little snack. Oh yes maybe a nice jar of honey. Ooh yes this is all so gratifying!
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