nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Puberty

Puberty is the process through which a teenager undergoes assholeish behavior usually accompanied by a new outlook on life and a healthy sense of rebellion. Most side-effects of puberty are considered to be positive, and include an increase in body hair, a cracking voice (which adds character), and growth spurts which throw the body out of whack and akimbo (which most adults find cute). Puberty is a very widespread phenomenon and is little understood among scientists. About 99% of adults have successfully undergone puberty, and it has been called nature's plastic surgery.
== A Historical Perspective ==
=== Early History ===
The earliest records of puberty have been found in cave paintings. These pictures showed them hitting some nasty girl in the head to drag them back to their cave.
Greece was the first civilization to recognize puberty as a natural human process; Before this point, those who experienced puberty were burned at the stake or stoned because they were....well, weird, and therefore deserved to die. Writers such as Plato and Socrates offered many commentaries and insights into puberty, accompanied by personal accounts occasionally. Here is an example:
=== Puberty Today ===
Today, puberty has taken many forms. It has created a diverse teenage subculture, and groups such as the Emos, sluts and rebels have graced our planet's soil through the wonders of puberty. It's also created 99.9% of all porn websites. It is no wonder that celebrated contemporary writers, such as Maddox, praise puberty, offering such timeless quotes as 
Puberty can also cause people to bother you at school. Don't let them tease you about those side-effects. Tell somebody or do something about it!
==How to reach puberty==
You need to be old, or you just need a tattoo on your ass, or else you'll never hit puberty and stay young forever, just like what happened to this guy. If you don't hit puberty, you'll never have the ability to have a baby (And eat it). Scientists have found an alternative way to hit puberty; it is called "Puberty hitting pills". Otherwise, you only need circumcision.
== Effects ==
Puberty has a number of healthy effects. As is readily seen, all effects of puberty are positive. Here is a short list of them.
* Growth spurts
* Depression (which adds to the mystique of the individual)
* An increase in body hair
* A tendency to flirt with Moshman117 or Dodz
* An increase in body odor (or odour if you're British)
* A deeper voice, with a higher tendency to crack (which adds character)
* A higher sex drive (some individuals with puberty can ejaculate up to 41 times in 30 seconds)
* A higher tendency to trash up the school (which gives Mexican janitors a job to do)
* You wanting to read Twilight
* Boobs
== See Also ==
* depression
* teenager
* Emo
Category:Humans
category:Nature
Category:Teen Angst
Category:Things that are definitely out to get you
cs:Puberťák
de:Pubertät
eo:Pubereco
fi:Puberteetti
ja:思春期
no:Puberteten
pt:Puberdade
Puerto Rican Thanksgiving

Puerto Rican Thanksgiving is a traditional island wide celebration with three main objectives. 1. To show gratefulness at the conclusion of the harsh Autumm. 2. Appease 11 gods and maintaining high morale among the masses (achieved through extensive domino playing). 3. To commemorate the second coming of Pelé. 
The festivities include pig roasting, moonshine drinking (Pitorro), and several assorted carnival rides.
== History == 
=== The arrival of Pele===
In 1777, Pelé and seventeen or eighteen men from Venezuela mistakenly docked into the mild southern shores of Puerto Rico thinking they had reached Tanzania. This led to the misnomer of the natives (Tainos). Pelé brought a variety of items with him which did nothing to improve the increasing tensions between the long standing monarchy and the young popular socialist group that existed in the island. 
Among these items were: Pele's Hair, an English Tea Party set, Diego Maradona, Cocaine, his Bauru AC scarf, a strangely large odd looking 'Turkey', a 'futbol', and a grapefruit.
===The Stand===
As fate would have it, the aforementioned giant turkey wasn't actually a Turkey (genus Meleagris ), but rather a small, unusually hairy pimp from a neighboring island, who was widely know as El Pavo. El Pavo means turkey in Spanish which bred confusion as to what exactly Pelé brought with him.
After arriving with at Puerto Rico with his mentor Pelé, El Pavo saw great potential in the island calling it "The Island Paradise". He eagerly developed plans and activities geared towards improving the relations between the dominating gubernatorial factions present in the island at that time. 
He found the source for the main argument and rivalry between east and west (whether the island should be officially called "Puerto Rico" or "Borinquen") to be "silly and stupid" and openly called the argument a "prime example of Poppycock". 
===Origins of El Pavo===
El Pavo (b. Itza Been Pharaoh Venezuela) was born in the fictitious island of Galliformes but was raised by his Grandmother's wolf in... Venezuela (hence the surname). The substandard living conditions were amplified by the disintegrating economy of the country following the Greek invasion of 1750. The Greek leaders were quoted as saying "We thought the Trojan horse shenanigan was hi-la-rious". 
As a child, Itza Been had a variety of learning disabilities, trouble remembering people's names was just one of them; in addition, he was hairier than James Howlett (aka Logan, aka Weapon X, aka Wolverine). Yet somehow, he was wildly popular with the ladies, who he always referred to as Pavas due to his inability for name recall. The term is still widely used around the island of Venezuela mainly by comedic troupes and/or government officials.
==Puerto Rican Thanksgiving rituals==
# Acquire a small cabin/townhouse deep in the secluded mountains of Puerto Rico (or anywhere really).
# Invite 4 (or 40)(or 400) friends.
# Build a sweat lodge (very optional)
# Cook a pig.
# Eat and Dance a little.
# Play dominos.
Category:Holidays
Category:Thanksgiving
Category:Ethnic humour
Puffin

The Puffin (Fratercula Arctica) is an flightless seabird developed in 1962 as a Northern Alternative to the Penguin by the Northern Hemisphere Supremacist group, 'SHIITO' (Southern Hemisphere Is Inferior To Ours), whose headquarters were based in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire (now relocated to the World Puffin Heritage Site of St Kilda, offshore Scotland). 
==A Northern Sucess==
Its conception came as a Northern response to Southern claims that the South had the stupidest looking animals and wildlife in the north was just plain boring. 
Puffins were regarded by Northern Hemispere Supremacists as a great success, occupying the same ecological niche as the Penguin, but looking every bit as stupid as popular Southern animal species such as the Platypus and the kangaroo.
==Disaster of '74==
Disaster fatefully struck in 1974 when an unusually hot summer caused scores of Puffins to dig burrows into the soft clifftops of the Atlantic Shores in search of cooler conditions. They haven't been seen since. Rumours that they dug all the way down to the Southern Hemisphere, where their garish beaks and camp walks were more acceptable have been disregarded as false in discerning ornithological circles.
==Puffin Trivia==
*Puffins fought a brief but bloody war against penguins in 1838 in response to the penguin blockade of krill shipments to the artic. The penguins surrendered after two weeks of aerial bombardment from their flying enemies. Many penguins died including Dave’s grandad. 
*The Puffin actually weighed more than fourteen tons, which is why it could not fly.
*Most of its weight was concentrated in the beak, which was made of lead and silver plating.
*A heated war of words between Geologists and 'SHIITO' Ornithologists broke out in 1969, over the Puffin. The Geologists maintained that the mass of all the worlds puffins was more than the mass of the planet itself, and that official surveys must have been overestimating the size of puffin populations. The dispute was never resolved.
*The space vehicle that landed Aldrin and Armstrong on the Moon was actually called 'The Puffin.'
*A range of children's books called 'Puffin Books' provided scores of school children in the 1970s and 1980s with nesting material for Hamsters and Gerbils.
*A pub called the Puff Inn stands in Mansfield marketplace and on the Scottish island of St Kilda but nobody goes there.
*Puffins were once hand colored "tickle-me-pink" by employees of the Crayola corporation for an ad that never aired national television. Pink puffins are since extinct and the colorers were never found. PETA threw a hissy-fit.
*Puffins are arch-enemies of the Death Walrus
*Puffins have been known to wear blue jeans, which unfortuately often leads to puffin muffin top syndrome. This fact inspired the poem 'There once was a puffin'. An excerpt of this poem is found below:
:Oh, there once was a Puffin
:Just the shape of a muffin (top),
:And he lived on an island
:In the bright blue sea! 
:He ate little fishes
:Which were most delicious
==See Also==
*Giant Australian Penguin
category:birds 
category:penguins
eo:Fraterkulo
Pulley

The pulley is one of six very, VERY complex machines. It is known for dragging work behind on Mondays and requiring more force to pull up than simply lifting something up.
==History==
To talk about the invention of the pulley, we have to go back VERY far. We have to go to the beginning of the universe, when two hydrogen atoms combined to make Helium... okay, that's a little too far back. Fast forward to 150,000 years ago. There are around a hundred thousand humans by now. We're very isolated. So, we decided to take some pig intestines and throw it on a wheel. This is how we made the first pulley.
==Uses==
There are so many uses for a pulley. I mean, it is a complex machine, so what would you expect. Wanna go up an elevator? Use a pulley. Need to create a Rube Goldberg machine for a physics class that requires all very, VERY complex machines? Use a pulley. And a declined plane. And a wheel. And a screw. And a wedge. And a lever.
Oh, and don't forget your mental sanity.
==Controversy==
Well what do you know. Nothing bad is associated with pulleys. No hanging devices. No lifts and elevator accidents. Absolutely nothing. This machine is so complex, yet it's very safe. This is the most absurd thing that the KBoE has ever seen.
==See also==
*Wheel
*Screw
*Physics
Category:Machines
Pumpkin

A pumpkin used to be a yellow egg that has now matured into a orange lump, the weight has come from all of the children consumed over Halloween. when planting pumpkins, make sure you give them your teeth to nourish the pumpkin seeds ensuring they have a healthy growth. pumpkins vary of a jondis hue accompanied with green stripes down the middle.
== See also ==
*Pumpkin Spice Latte
*Jack O'Lantern
*Smashing Pumpkins
* Cinderella's coach
*Headless Horseman's excuse for a head
*The Great Pumpkin
*Pumpkins
*Pumpkin Pie
*Incest
Category:Halloween
Category:Fruits
Puppet

Puppets are a breed of animals whose most notable feature is the inability to live by themselves: Humans must insert something into their bottoms in order to make puppets alive.
==History==
Puppets are still dark creatures to this day. Puppets were invented by a mentally crazed man named Firegu Shiyamoto from ancient Japan, who discovered how to make "goblins" that could talk AND walk. This "goblins" were very freakish-looking, and he kept them as pets, thus the name "puppets". These freakish creations scared all the townspeople away, and none of them ever came back.
The town is now populated entirely by puppets ... and the 2,000-year-old mentally insane man who created them. He's even afraid now, too.
==Species==
Puppets come in many shapes and sizes.
*Sockus manulus – sock puppet
*Dextrus manulus – finger puppet
*Suicidalus Esophagus hangus killus – marionette
*Anus Fistus manulus – hand puppet
*Anus Fistus suicidalus hangus (extinct)
*Homicidalus murderus – every goddam puppet in the world
==Puppets can be found in ...==
==Do puppets have gender-defining organs?==
Well, yes AND no. You see, a male puppet may look male, and a female puppet might look female as well, but some female puppets may look male as well as the male puppets that look female. You see, some female puppets can look more male than some other female puppets OR some male puppets themselves, as some male puppets may look more female than actual female puppets. Some puppets are female males and some are male females which are either more female or more male than a male female or a female male male or female puppet which is very confusing because a male male female puppet may not be male which a female male female male puppet with a male female male male male puppet may not be totally female which might be hard because some puppets are gay which would mean a female-like male puppet having a relationship with a male-like male puppet meaning they are as female as two males maling each other in the male like some females and some males. You see, a male male male male female male male male female male puppet may be female like the male male female puppet but not always because when a female male male female female male female female male puppet is female another male puppet may not be.
==Well known puppetmasters==
Although he may possibly be more known for other things, Adolf Hitler was also a renowned puppeteer during the time before Poland attacked his cuntry (sic).
Another not very famous Puppetmaster in history was lord Rallysteven. During his time, many claimed he was the greatest puppetcontrollah evar. Although recent research somewhere in New Jersey claims such a person never existed.
==See also==
*Finding Your Inner Sock Puppet
*Chucky
*Kermit the Frog
*Miss Piggy
*Cookie Monster
*Oscar the Grouch
*Elmo
*Big Bird
Category:Toys
Puppy dog tail

thumb|right|250px|Harvesting a tail... Stay still Fido. This will only hurt for a second.
One of the three elements of which boys are made; see also snakes and Aardvarks.
At some point in life, the puppy dog will ask for his tail back; this leaves the lad spending the rest of his life looking for a piece of tail with which to replace it. 
It also leaves the dog uncertain as to whether its tail has been accidentally swapped with that of another puppy dog; therefore when two dogs meet, each sniffs the other's tail to ensure that they haven't inadvertently been switched.
==Mega Recipe: How to Make a Boy==
Here is the formula to make your very own boy.
#You'll need to buy some good puppy dog tail from the butchers. I prefer a puppy labrador's tail, as they smell the nicest, but any will do. Then you need to find some great snails. The best come imported from France, but you can find some big juicy ones all over the street after a big rainstorm. Pick them up carefully, to make sure they are not too yucky or too blah, but just right. 
#After you have your meat, you'll need to pour it into a large container. Then use your home DNA extracting kit to take out the Deoxribonucleaic Acid from your hair, mix and heat.
#Simmer for a week or two. 
#When you come back, you should have a fully-working young boy.
#Enjoy! Put him to work or let him out to play. You can even test the results for yourself.
== Symbolic meaning ==
In many parts of the world it is good luck when a puppy dog's tail is worn as a necklace, the cutier the puppy the more luck.
== See also ==
* Sugar and spice and everything nice
* What tigers are made of
* Snails
*Tail
Category:Dogs
Category:Boys
Purgatory

Purgatory is a nether realm colloquially referred to as “the P.O. Box of Hell”. Scenically located in Cleveland, Ohio, several annexses can also be found encroching on terra firma. The same six elevator music tracks are broadcast over and over, although at least they are randomly shuffled. Residents in Purgatory have compared being there to standing on a see-saw trying to maintain a constant balance, as any action they make could either save them or damn them.
==Conditions==
Conditions are fairly so-and-so in Purgatory. The searing fires of Hell deep below you provide a warm, comforting sensation on the ground, pleasant for ones feet and indeed for lying down on. However, this luxury is slightly compromised by the muffled screams of agony that emanate from the same source as the heat. Just one example of Purgatory's policy that anything good has to be cancelled out by something bad, and vice-versa.
== Lighting ==
Purgatory is continuously illuminated by 100 Million 18 Watt single fluorescent tubular light bulbs, except for the restrooms where every fifth tube is set to flicker on and off as irregularly as possible, and the rest run at half-power.
== Telephone ==
You will be answering your own phone. Not answering it is construed as a sin, and may help you get the Hell out of Purgatory. For the enjoyment of others, please listen to voicemail over your speakerphone. Replay messages as loudly and as frequently as you like. I can’t overstate this enough - Purgatory is for losers, that’s why you're here. You were too afraid of The Law to do evil, and you were too lazy to be good. And you're certainly not worthy of a secretary.
== Printers ==
Denizens of Purgatory have access to black and white copiers, and printers. Color printers are reserved for the upper management office dwellers of Heaven.
== Threatened Existance ==
The Vatican has recently issued a decree that may close down purgatory for good. Many theologians have opposed the move, saying that the terminally mediocre have to go somewhere to avoid crowding the currently more selective afterlives. 
A spokesman from the Vatican issued the following statement;
"Obviously, people are going to be uneasy with these changes, but we at The Vatican, Inc. feel that we get very good results from simply admitting that the past thousand or so years of rulings were a mistake and quite possibly made up while high, insane or clinically dead. When people start pretending that purgatory never existed, we feel the transition will be made much easier."
Supporters of the move highlight The Crusades as a case of this working very well.
Category:Religion
eo:Purgatorio
Purple nurples

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A graphic example of purple nurples.
A purple nurple is the result of grabbing and twisting the nurple of another person, one's self, or occasionaly, other mammals. Titty twisters are in fact the same thing as purple nurples. The action is the same as the result, and there is very little difference between the two terms. For example, when used in a sentence, purple nurple and titty twister can be interchanged. "I doled out purple nurples my senior year of high school," is the same as: "I doled out titty twisters my senior year of high school," etc. The only time this is untrue is when you are describing the result of a titty twister in detail, as in "I have a purple nurple from the titty twister I received yesterday." You should know however, that you sound like a geek when you talk that way.
Some people may consider titty twisters to be particularly aimed at women, but most men have nurples too, and thus purple nurples are possible for all! Purple Nurples for World Peace
==The truth serum==
A Purple Nurple is a dangerous mix of alcohol created in Tijuana, Mexico in order to lure a younger crowd into its drinking establishments during spring break. The sweetness of this drink makes it a popular refreshment among women, and it remains the number one concoction for seducing 18-24 year-old girls and gay men of all ages. 
How To Make a Purple Nurple
Combine in a cocktail shaker with ice:
*1 oz coconut rum}}
*1 oz triple sec}}
*1/2 oz blue curacao liqueur}}
*2 oz cranberry juice
Shake, strain into any old glass, and serve.
Until recently, it was unknown to the general public that a side effect of mass consumption of this beverage was intoxication to the point of delusional truthfulness. For this reason, the United States has long used Purple Nurples as an interrogation technique, but this tactic is currently under fire as being morally wrong. Purplest of Nurples
==The tradition==
Some scholars argue that amongst young adults, the use of purple nurples and titty twisters as a greeting is more popular than handshakes. Although the history of titty twisters is unknown, and may go back to the beginning of mankind, the development of the term purple nurple is rather new. Contrary to popular belief, Satan did not invent the purple nurple. Satan hates purple nurples because he has nine, easy-to-grab-in-a-crowd-and-not-suffer-mortal-damnation nurples on his back. Purple nurples were invented by Marcus Alexander Hart when he was fired from Entertainment Tonight for giving John Tesh a bruising titty twister. Tesh went on to write a hit New Age song about the incident, entitled "Painful Raisins." The lyrics are as follows:
In a public response to the song, Marcus and his team of Misinformants went on to fight for the mandatory titty twisting of all adolescents wishing to fully embrace student lifestyle, known as the Purple Nurple Initiation Act of 1988.
==See also==
*Oldest trick in the book
==References==
Category:Activities
Category:Things that are definitely out to get you
Put Out or Get Out

Put Out Or Get Out is an appalling Channel 4 game show hosted by Noel Edmonds.
The game, in which Noel Edmonds' rather unappealing penis gets some action at last, starts with 22 apparently-identical sealed boxes, each within a different pair of panties. The boxes are all loaded and sealed by an independent Catholic school teacher. No one but the teacher knows what is in the boxes.
==Game play==
The game commences when the contestant chooses the first five boxes to try to open. The contestant picks one box which potentially contains the prize. They then spend the duration of the show attempting to get into the other boxes, one by one, revealing what they contained. The contestant must eventually decide whether they accept the box concealed within their chosen panties, or accept an offer from The Wanker. Could their box change their life, or just require a course of antibiotics?
When a box is chosen to be opened, it is then out of play. The aim of the game is to try and pick the box whose family has the right amount of money, adding hope that the contestant’s box has a high amount of money and in turn provoking The Wanker to offer the contestant a better deal.
The Wanker is always watching the player, trying to analyse their psychology, and has has no idea what the contestant's chosen box contains. The Wanker's sole purpose is to try and ensure the player leaves the studio with the smallest amount of joy possible.
Based on the boxes the player has eliminated and their perception of the player themselves, The Wanker makes a sleazy offer to get the sealed box. Whenever The Wanker makes an offer, the player is left with a desperate dilemma ... accept the deal, or risk losing everything.
==Presenter==
The programme is presented by Noel Edmonds, who has been one of Britain's sleaziest TV and Radio presenters for more than 30 years. "I've always maintained that it would take something very special to tempt me back to TV after five years," he says. "And this format is undoubtedly unique. Put Out or Get Out is simple, honest and totally compelling and I am privileged to have the opportunity to host such a corrupting show."
Category:British television programmes
Category:Game shows
Category:Childish Misogynistic Humor
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