I Have No Life.exe

Back in like... 2013? I don’t fucking know but that year on a very specific day in July one of my friends sent me a CD of a game that had something to do with File Extensions specifically Executable Files. He had also written a note saying that the reason he was giving that game away to me was because some demon from The Seventh Ring of Hell was going to come murder him or something. He had also written that I should destroy the game he sent me, but because I’m the most intelligent person in the entire universe I decided not to. 
I then started playing the game. 
It started off normally but later turned into something horrifying... kind of. 
The game started with a title screen like most games do. It was a Mario game BUT and here comes the scary part, when I pressed the start button there wasn’t a scary image for a split second. It then went to a screen with 3 boxes. In the boxes there were 3 characters. Bowser, Bowser Jr and Luigi.
 
“Luigi? Who the hell would ever want to play as Luigi?” I said to myself. 
I of course still decided to play it even though Luigi was in the game. I then chose the first character which was Bowser. 
When the game eventually started, I saw something about the game that was traumatizing to say the least. It wasn’t because the game was disturbing or anything, but because it was a... WALKING SIMULATOR!!! 
I then had Bowser walk to the right. Like you would in a walking simulator. When bowser had been walking for a while, I could see that there were dead Toads in the background and no it wasn’t Toad from Super Mario it was the animal Toad just like those dead animals in Sonic.PNG. 
After 2 hours of walking, I saw Mario in the distance. Without me even controlling him I saw that Bowser was walking towards Mario. At that point I could already feel my adult diapers filling up with shit. I had the urge to scream, “NO BOWSER” but I couldn’t. He just kept walking. 
When Bowser finally reached Mario, the screen cut to black and instead became a scary walking simulator. So just a walking simulator. 
Everything in the background was on fire. 
After I had walked for another 2 fucking hours, I saw that Bowser was actually looking a bit scared even after seeing all the shit that had happened, he only looked a bit scared. Then Mario came up and killed Bowser in the most horrible, dreadful, horrifying, horrific, frightful, awful, shocking, grim, ghastly, harrowing, hideous, sickening, gruesome, heinous, vile, nightmarish, hair-raising, spine-chilling, terrible and most nauseating way possible, anyways. 
After Mario killed Bowser, I saw Bowsers face on one of the screens that was up where you could choose him and there was red static in it. Bowser had gray skin he also had dark eyes with two singular pupils which people usually have but they were red and there was blood coming out his eyes.
I then chose Bowser Jr. This time the game was... STILL A WALKING SIMULATOR!!! A few or should say it in the correct term multiple hours later I was surprised that I hadn’t blown my brains out already but finally I reached Mario again except he had black static all over his face. 
So obviously I walked towards Mario. It then became a game of Cat and Mouse. Except It wasn’t anything like a game of Cat and Mouse. Instead, I just had Bowser Jr walk around left and right towards Mario with all the black static around his face who kept disappearing and reappearing on the other side. Eventually all the disappearing and reappearing stopped. I then saw that Bowser Jr started crying, fucking pussy. Then Mario came up beside him and killed him too. 
Just like with Bowser I saw that Bowser Jr was also in one of the screens with red static. With the same gray skin, red pupils, dark eyes and blood coming out of his eyes. 
Then there was the last character, which was Luigi. The one that I wondered about the most. Still, I was going to choose him instead of just turning off the game despite all the weird and creepy stuff that had happened before in the game. Did I say creepy? I meant just weird, because if there was anything in this world that wouldn’t be scary at all that would probably be a really shitty and not scary game where you just walk to the right and then some shit happens, but whatever. 
But before that I went to sleep. As I was sleeping, I started having these nightmares or rather a nightmare. In it I could see Bowser and Bowser Jr, they looked sad. Like they had just been violently murdered. They then started saying stuff to me like why the fuck did you let us die. I could then hear Mario in the background saying why did you stop playing, no parts of this dream thing matters, this whole segment just makes this story longer. Then I woke up. 
At this point I REALLY decided not to destroy the game. I turned on the game, chose Luigi and what do you know the game was... STILL A FUCKING WALKING SIMULATOR!!! This time you just walked around a room filled with blood, scary right? Later on, Luigi went down a flight of stairs. After what felt like and probably was minutes. Yeah, bet you didn’t expect that. Anyways after that Mario spawned in front of Luigi and then there was a bunch of red static for a few minutes. After I had already gotten grandkids, the static stopped and, on the screen, there was a hyper realistic image of Mario. It looked so hyper realistic that it felt like if you touched the screen, you could feel Mario’s weird ass nose. There was also a really fucking loud laugh. 
As my ears were bleeding from that laugh, I saw an image on the screen with a background from the ending of Doom and all the characters like Bowser, Bowser Jr and Luigi dead in the most horrible ways you could imagine. Mario was also there smiling as all the other three character were dead. Just like I said before.
At that moment I realized one thing and one thing only. 
I Have No Life.exe
Category:Trollpasta Category:Satire Category:Mario Category:Hyper-realistic Category:File Extensions Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck Category:Potty Humor
Category:Pointless Violence