Emo bashing

Emo Bashing is the one thing that you can do to prevent the overpopulation of these sick beings. Read to help people learn how to emo-bash; get your friends to join you... because if we don't unite against them, they will inherit popular culture. For if we strike one down, another one will fill her (not his, there are no "he"s) vans shoes.
==Types of bashers==
*Metalheads - They bash emos to eat their meat. Yeah, they don't just drink the blood like those pussy vampires, they eat emos whole. Emo burgers anyone?
*Goths - They are tired of being confused with those whiny pussies.
*Punks - The bash emos because punks really fuckin hate emos...goths were bad enough and just a subculture of punk but emo is just a bitchy subculture to the already bitchy enough subculture in their opinions. 
*Chads - Shining as the Rising Sun, with radiant beams of glory streaming from their perfect faces and well sculpted muscles, the Jocks continue their holy crusade to degrade all the filth of the world (emos, scenekids, Kikuo) so that they may know that they are truly, perpetually filth. But will probably suck emo cock when no one is looking. 
*Giraffes - Because giraffes are cool.
*Indie Kids - Because we are fucking tired of being confused with those whiny pussys.
*Roller Derby players - Provided the emo is playing on the opposite team. 
== Notable Bashers ==
*Jollibee - This mad lad will show those freaks who's boss - with Chickenjoy!
*Pororo - He has a plane so he can launch air strikes on Bakersfield. Useful when you have to take drastic measures. 
*Mario and Luigi - They stomp on emos' heads and turn their heads from oddly shaped to normal shaped.
thumb|right|250px|Mario and Luigi are well known emo bashers.
==Types of Bashing==
===Physical=== 
Emo Bashing is an enjoyable recreational activity that can be enjoyed with family, friends or just by yourself. Emos congregate in large groups of other emos and are mostly found lurking and sucking cock at emo gigs and shows. Remember the very young emo boys and girls can prove to turn out to be quite erotic and sexually arousing. This is due mainly to the fact that they are pedophiles. Many people proud to proclaim themselves emo bashers are angry teenage boys into metal known as metalheads While less subculture-oriented emo-bashers would probably group metal listeners with emo kids, because they are stupid (less oriented emo-bashers), metalheads are still prepared to bash emos and can be an invaluable resource when dealing with emos.
=== Emo bashing as a business ===
Emo meat is a very tasty delicacy to metalheads. They actually taste like steak. Emo pelt is a very precious material to the punks, Researchers think they use them for medicinal purposes. 
====Not-good-weaponry====
*Dildos
*Razorblades
*Gay porn movies
*Buttplugs
*Cockrings
*Anal Sex
*Other emos
===Verbal===
Verbal emo abuse is the weakest form of emo-bashing and is also the most common. University students are nine times more likely to choose this option because they are pathetically weak themselves and have lived in the suburbs all their lives. You can go ahead and verbally bash an emo but it's a waste of time because only girls talk in a fight.
===E-bashing===
The internet is a system of tubes that can provided many pedophiles with access to hardcore Child Pornography. Apart from this the internet can also provide a cheap laugh or two. Replying to Youtube videos of emo bashing with messages like "Yeah kill those emos!" or "Death to emo assholes!" will make many emos cry and cut themselves. If this is repeated you might just get lucky and the emo will cut a little too deep and finally kill itself. Either that or you can wind them up enough to so that they leave pathetic comments on your bebo or myspace as this too gives you a good laugh i have found.
=== Health & Recreation ===
The enjoyment and ecstasy that comes from bashing an emo is unparalleled. In fact, doctors have been quoted with saying the famous line, "Bashing an emo a day, keeps the pedos at bay." Because pedophiles totally know they will be next after the emos, who may not actually have been molested. Also in 2005, scientists declared that strands of emo hair are capable of curing cancer, therefore, bashing on emos became extremely popular in the medicinal field.
==The truth about emos==
Emos are really what are known as "posers." They want everyone to believe that they're human teenagers with severe depression. People often think that they cut themselves and put those cotton wrist bands over them so it draws attention to their wrist (emos say it's to cover it up... bullfuck it is). The real reason behind this is the following... if you take the cotton wristband off it exposes their insides... not because they cut themselves, but because it exposes their computer chip. They don't want to actually sew some rubber over it, because they can't sew and they don't want to tell anyone about their problems (bottle it up). When they are "cutting themselves" they are just tightening a couple bolts, that's all.
==Further Information==
Emo's and scene kids alike are usually skinny and don't have much weight. Because of this it is good to plan weaponry and tactics before bashing them. If you are using fists it is wise to train first. Bashing a weak, skinny person can sometimes be harder than bashing a bigger, stronger person. If you are actually going to do this, don't be a fucking dipshit and prance around with him. Unless, of course, you know how to fence properly. However, fencing isn't BASHING, so don't use sharp weapons, for the goal is to bash, not to slice. Slicing is for emos and chefs. One good solid hit is all you need to knock this wimp out. But don't use martial arts or boxing techniques to hit the emo, that would actually take skills you don't have. Play a hit record instead with the volume turned up - the emo wimp will probably faint. If you are group bashing it is far more easier (obviously) to successfully bash them. Pillows are highly recommended for this. If you have more mass than an emo/scene kid it is advisable to get the fight to the ground ASAP. Once you are on the ground, proceed to bash your head into the emo until the emo surrenders.
==Important Notice!==
Whilst bashing Emos do not cut them or draw blood in any way! They will only like it, and it may cause spontaneous orgasm on the part of the Emo. Getting drenched in Emo cum is NOT your objective, if it is, you should be looking at the article You are retarded.
Category:Emo
Category:Violence