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By using Uncyclopedia, you hereby agree to the terms and conditions set forth by the license agreement detailed below.
== Article One: The End-user ==
=== Section One: User's Authority on Uncyclopedia ===
You have none. Deal with it.
=== Section Two: User's Capabilities ===
You the end-user, ie one who may choose to partake in activities, including, but not limited to the ones set forth here.
=== Paragraph One: Writing Articles ===
You, the end-user, having met the following conditions:
* Your contract has not been terminated by an admin
* You have huffed at least 2 kittens within the past 24 hours.
May partake in activities including:
:* Vanity
:* Keepers
:* QVFD-quality Articles
:* VFD-quality Articles
:* Articles that make User:Gwax angry
=== Paragraph Two: Vandalism ===
:* Vandalism, in forms including, but not limited to:
::* Blanking
::* Vandalizing a user page
:::*asdf
::* Inserting random crap into articles at random locations, including, but not limited to:
:::* "lol pwnt"
:::* "YOU ARE ALL GAY"
=== Paragraph Three: Sockpuppetry/Username Abuse ===
:* Creating sockpuppets
:* Lamely offensive, childish (the childishness determined by an admin) usernames, including, but not limited to:
::* !SPLAKA SUCKS
::* !SPLAKA SUCKS
::Note: For more such user names that you may create, please see Special:Listusers
== Article Two: Administrators ==
By reading this text, you agree that any and all sysops, administrators, etc etc, have the abillities, etc described in this article.
=== Section One: Governing The Average Sheep (You) ===
Administrators have rights, including, but not limited to:
* Banning you for reasons including, but not limited to:
:* Divine message(s)
:* They feel like it (Note that this article does not discuss the restrictions on the definition of "feel" in this sense, it is assumed to be broad. infinitely so.)
:* Jesus told them to (This is NOT the same as a Divine message, as a divine message can come from ANY omni* figure, ie your common-variety garden Grue
:* You did something stupid, including, but not limited to approximately 90% of the capabilities described above in Article 1 Section 2.
:*.*
== Section Two: Administrator's duties and responsibilities ==
=== Paragraph One: What they can do ===
 SELECT * FROM `Admins_imagination`;
=== Paragraph Two: What they may not do ===
Administrators are restricted by the terms set below, including and limited to:
* An administrator may not, under any circumstances, write a new article.
* An administrator may not ban any user for a period of time longer than "infinite"
=== Paragraph Three: Exception clause ===
An administrator, upon satisfying at least one the following conditions:
* They want to.
* They feel like wanting to, but are too lazy to actually want to.
* They feel like feeling like wanting to, but are too lazy to actually feel that way.
* They have a whim to do so.
May thereby ignore any and all conditions set forth above.
== Article Three: Disclaimer ==
Uncyclopedia is not in anyway responsible for harm, happiness, joy, insult, injury, or anything else that may be inflicted or felt, caused by things including, but not limited to:
* An alien invasion
* A grue
* An act of God
* An act of Gawd
* An act of G0d
* An act of Satan
* An act of Jesus
* An act of Adolf Hitler
* An act of YOU!!
:* This applies only if you live in Soviet Russia.
* An act of You
* A forest fire
* A forest flood
* Huffing multiple kittens
* Believing material you read on Uncyclopedia
* Not donating large sums of money to Uncyclopedia.
* Being stupid
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Category:Wikipedia