Jim Pickens Finds Treasure Inside His Body

I am Jim Pickens, a detective living in Chicago. I have a pistol and a police badge. I entered the forest where I believed the criminal I'm searching for fled to. Suddenly, I heard a twang and felt an impact on my back. I turned around, and realized that I've been shot by an arrow.
I then ate the arrow. The arrow was made of plastic, so it didn't hurt too much going down. It still tasted terrible.
"Ah, just like mama used to make..." I said.
"I'm dying!" Jim Pickens said.
"Cops don't die, they just get re-killed!" Jim Pickens said.
"Where am I?" Jim Pickens said.
"Oh, I'm inside myself, now I can remove that arrow." I said.
Unfortunately, when I approached the arrow to pull it out, it fell deeper into Jim Pickens. As I pondered my dilemma, the sun set and I was struck with inspiration.
I then realized that the arrow was not an arrow, but in fact, a pointy arrow like people use in thumbnails pointing directly at the treasure. I was overwhelmed with excitement and rushed home to research it further.
I rushed out the door exclaiming to my wife, "It was a clue! I know where that treasure is buried!"
"Who knew? The real treasure was inside me all along!" I said.
My wife was confused, it was an awkward line to read.
I rushed into the library and decided to research the treasure further.
"Hmm... it says here, the treasure is either gold or stomach acid." I said.
The book said that the arrow, or "harpoon" as it is referred to in the novel pointed towards the treasure. It also mentioned how it was used by sailors to catch food, specifically whales.
"Ah, perfect! I can use this to catch my enemy... Toby Dick, a distant relative of Moby Dick to avoid copyright issues!" I said.
I then went to a pet store and bought a large fishbowl, then filled it with water. At the lake, I filled it with water and one large fish.
I then set the water on fire. The fish began to sizzle in the water as it was filled with fire. It struggled to survive but I managed to drop it into the fishbowl tank.
I then ate my enemy, Toby.
I enjoyed eating my enemy. My seedy past has now came to an end, and my life has changed for the better.
"Now let's go get that treasure!" I said.
I got into my car and drove to the town closest to where I buried it.
I drove as fast as I could to the location, but it was night and I was very bad at navigating.
"Hmm, maybe I should take a bus to get inside me instead of driving..." I said.
I then got on the bus and exit at myself. 
I then entered a building with many floors.
I reached the floor my apartment was and began climbing up the stairs to my apartment.
"My stomach is quite spacious to fit an entire apartment bloc inside..." I said.
I entered my apartment and found it very clean. I started digging, but only found a few bones.
"This is wrong...", I thought. "I'm supposed to be finding treasure, not bones!"
The bones started to jiggle and over the course of 17 hours, formed into Brenden Fraser. 
He was angry.
"What the hell are you doing in my grave?" He said.
I began to jiggle and morphed into Jake Gyllenhaal over the course of 18 hours.
Brenden was delighted to see his buddy Jake, they started to make a buddy comedy together, but due to a clerical error, the film was titled: "Nachos and Burritos" and only lasted 1.5 hours at most.
Brenden was finally at peace and released from his earthly bonds. He now resided on the moon with the rest of the dead actors.
"Anyways, back to the treasure in my stomach!" I said.
I then opened up my belly with a knife and began rummaging around my intestines. I then felt something sharp which pricked my finger, I have found the treasure!
I then took the golden chest from my stomach and set it on the table.
It said: "Hello, friend! Would you like to learn about triple stars?"
"Yes, tell me more!" I said.
As I read the book, I realized I have learned all there is to know about triple stars.
"Let me explain to you what triple stars are." I said.
I explained in great detail what a triple star is.
== Epilogue ==
Jim Pickens decided to retire at the peak of his career, going out with a bang in a blaze.
Brenden Fraser got arrested for breaking into a pet shop and stealing a fish.
He was sentenced to death.
Jake Gyllenhaal sung a song in Brenden's honor.
Brenden was my friend, 
I have many friends,
But Brenden was my friend,
My friend, my friend.
We then all finished the song in harmony.
I enjoyed singing with my friends, and my voice surprised me! I thought I might have a career in singing!
I then sung Brenden's Death song by Red Hot Chili Peppers.
I enjoyed singing to myself.
I enjoyed singing more than acting, I wished I had tried it sooner.
THE END
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