H.I. No. 124: Double High Five

"H.I. #124: Double High Five" is the 124th episode of Hello Internet, released on May 27, 2019.
==Website synopsis==
"Grey and Brady discuss: royal babies, are your parents your parents, the Brady Sportsball Curse, Dallas (Dulles) Airport, Grey tries to not complain about YouTube, double high five emoji, hashtagsquarespacebeyond100 and Hello Internet contingency plans on Patreon, and asking Tim Cook a question."
==Release and commercial performance==
"Double High Five" was released to podcast clients on May 27, 2019. The corresponding video was premiered live on the Hello Internet YouTube channel on the same day and received 28 thousand views within its first 9 days of release. The audio is set to a looping animation of blue-colored cells with violet-colored nuclei.
Give me claps Brady. Alright. Here's Brady. Oh, I just realized I can't do claps because I have coffee in my hand and my booth has no space to put it down. Just tap the spoon on the coffee cup. Oh, okay. There we go. Oh, three spoons. Oh, I see. Three coffee cups. No, I see. I hope you work. I forget. You're always all about the Foley Brady. I had a nice sort of liquidy sound to it. You know, it sounded really gloopy. It's a big cup of coffee. I'm going to need it today. That's for sure. I know you wanted to push back today's start time. I'm assuming it's because you've been so excited by all the news about hashtag Royal Baby. Yeah, yeah. It's all the Royal Baby news. I do know that there's a Royal Baby. How did you know that? Well, I knew that because I was minding my own business in the main room of my house and then my wife was suddenly getting frustrated at the Apple TV. I was thinking, what is she doing? What is she doing? The answer is she was trying to sign in to the BBC eye player because somehow through her communication network, she knew that a Royal Baby had appeared and that there were news clips somewhere to be seen of it. So she was trying to find the baby on the Apple TV and was eventually successful. Oh, I've seen it. I've seen it all. Oh, you've seen all the clips of the Royal Baby? Well, before we come on to the issue of the Royal Baby and all the excitement that that ensues from such things. I was properly on hashtag Royal Baby Watch for weeks because basically about a month or two ago, I recorded a number file video with James Grime, who's like a regular on the channel. I think you probably know James. Yeah, of course. And he had done this video with me all about ancestry and like the mathematics of generations and like how many generations back you have to go to find the nearest common ancestor and how many generations you have to go back to you find a generation where everyone is related to you and all that kind of stuff. And like I said, a bit of a last minute decision to make it a bit kind of zeitgeisty. He decided to make it how far back do you have to go? Are you related to royalty? That's the hook you were making for the video. Yeah, I mean, that's not really necessary for it to be interesting, but we decided to give it a bit of a hook and therefore release it when the baby arrived because we knew the baby was arriving soon. Right. So I looked at when the baby was going to arrive and it could have been weeks ago. It was actually quite late. A people didn't have a due date because they didn't release a due date and then all the speculation that was going on gave it this window that was actually quite a while ago. But I was going to America. So I wanted to have everything in place so that no matter where I was or what I was doing, you know, on my travels, I could just press a button and have the video out. So I uploaded the video ages ago and there's like a second video about a different thing and then there's like a supplementary video. So there was this whole like sweet video is ready to go. I worked so hard to have it up before I went away a couple of weeks ago. Like I worked right up to the wire to have it all finished. Had it in place, went to America just for the whole two weeks I was away, which is following Twitter waiting for the announcement so that I could press the button. Doesn't happen till after I get back from America. If you're going to try to do that video, the sort of ahead of time videos, you never know. The babies, they come when they're ready to come. You know, you can have a probability window, but you had to have it ready. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The funny thing was right because I'd done it a few weeks ago and then I got back to like my computer. I saw a tweet saying she was in labor. There was an announcement that she was in labor. So I was like, all right, got to wait for the official announcement before I pressed the button, but I'm ready to go. And then it occurred to me, what if like the upload date is like four weeks ago? And I quite like the idea of the upload date being the exact date of the birth date. Like the birthday is also the upload date. And I'm not exactly sure how all that works. Do they stamp it with the date of when you go public or I couldn't remember and I was a bit confused. So I thought, well, I've got some time. She's in labor. So I started the process of re-uploading all the videos so that they would have that date. And then something occurred to me and it used to be something that happened on YouTube and I don't know if it happens anymore. But if you re-upload the exact same video on your channel, it goes through the whole process and then at the end it says failed. You've already uploaded this. Yes, I can tell you from experience. That still happens. Exactly. Okay. So I was like, oh, okay. So now what do I do? I've got version two uploading, which is identical to version one. Am I going to get to the end and it's going to say failed or is it going to allow it now? Has there been a change? And I was just about to delete the old version to get around this problem. And then I thought, no, hang on a second. That just didn't feel right. I just waited a minute and I went back onto Twitter and backing the announcement came on saying, it's been born. It's official. It's a boy. And I'll breathe the biggest sigh of relief that I had deleted all the old versions that were in place. And I just, I canceled the one that was uploading and still had another half hour to go and just went bang and pressed all the buttons on the pre-existing version. So I was like, the minute the tweet went up, my video was out. My video was up half an hour before the BBC had anything on their YouTube channel. Oh, wow. You were breaking news. I mean, we didn't have any news in the video because obviously it's sort of supposed to be a bit timeless. But yeah, people were sending me screenshots from Twitter and I had number file, royal babies and half an hour later, BBC, making some stuff. Oh, that's all over that. That's all over that. That stuff is so stressful though, the like trying to time it. And I've been dealing recently with the YouTube back end with exactly that kind of problem of what order are these videos going to show up and how is it published? And you just, you never feel 100% confident that it's going to work the way you want it to work, especially when like you just say there, you want the video to have a specific date that it has appeared on. And like is YouTube going to show it as the public date? I hope so. And that seems to be what they do. But I think you and I still have a lot of jitters from past experiences with like who knows what's going to happen. If you go on to number file, the YouTube channel, what date does it show you? I'm curious now because I'm worried I won't get the same as you. Every baby is royal baby. I see May 6th as the date. Okay, that's good. Is that the date that you want? Yeah. Yeah. It seems like YouTube is going with the published date. Yeah. I think that's what you can kind of assume now. Good. Well done breaking news on number file. I think it totally counts as breaking news if you beat the BBC, even if there's not anything specifically timely in the video. That's still totally counts. There are 100% people who learned about the royal baby from number file. So you excited that we have a row of baby that's half American? I don't really care about the baby being half American. I don't know. Do English people think that's a big deal? I don't know. This is like an offline baby. This isn't the prime line of babies. This is the backup line of babies. But the fact that the baby is American, I don't think that really matters. But it's a royal baby. It's fun. I know there are people who poo poo this kind of thing. But it's just fun. I think it's great. There's a baby. It's like a national baby. Nobody can be happy about it. Whatever. It's good. I give royal baby thumbs up. There's much poo pooing, of course. There is much poo pooing. There's always this, you know, or what about the 100,000 other women who gave birth to babies today that aren't in the news? Well, guess what? They're not in the news because nobody cares. People care about royal babies. Yeah. I guess they do. I think it's very simple. You know? It's astonishing how little information journalists have to fill vast amounts of newsprint and TV time. I mean, they knew nothing. Harry came out and spoke for like 30 seconds. They knew a time and I'll wait. And you're going to do like all this news coverage. God, that must be hard. I wanted to actually ask you about this because since my wife watched the broadcast on BBC iPlayer, whatever it was, she clicked on the clip to play the news broadcast of the announcement of the baby and then was irritatingly fast forwarding through 10 minutes. Where she's like, I don't care what this lady thinks about the baby. Like, where's the baby? Right? Like, where's the baby? Where's the demand in the house? Like, we want to see the baby. And so then we find the clip of Harry talking with Meghan Markle by his side and something about that setup. I was kind of wondering how you interpreted it because I had this mental picture that he comes out and he's in this hallway. And it really felt like there was some line or barrier beyond which the press was not allowed to go past and that the royals were standing as far back as they politely could from that line. Right? Like, they didn't want to get an inch closer to the press than they had to. And you can absolutely bet that was a cherry-picked little squadron of journalists, too, had been told exactly what they couldn't couldn't ask because all the questions you wanted asked weren't asked. What would you want to ask of a royal baby? Well, I mean, I'm not particularly interested in this, but the million dollar question, because there was all this publicity around she's going to have a home birth. She wants to have a birth. I'm not okay. I don't care where she has it. And then it came out, oh, is she going to have to go and have it in a hospital? Is she going to have it at home? And nothing's been officially said about where she had the baby. It's all anyone who's speculating about. Surely the first question when Meghan Markle walks out, it should have been the first question when Harry walked out. Well, you know, besides, you know, has it got ten toes and fingers and all that and is it healthy? And how is everyone? Is like, oh, yeah, did she have it at home? There was lots of talk about she was going to have it at home. Is that what she did? But like, nothing's asked about that. I can kind of see not asking about that because surely, if a member of the royal family is having a quote, home birth, that's not like when a normal person has a home birth. Right? I think surely there has to be a doctor waiting downstairs. I can't imagine that they're going to have a home birth in a way that any regular person is going to have a home birth. It would seem almost negligent to let that happen. So even if they said, oh, yes, we did have a home birth, I feel like it doesn't count. It's not what a real home birth is. There's not how the hundred thousand women in the newspaper we didn't talk about had a home birth. What, you're a condemnate because you don't think there's enough risk? No, no, I'd congratulate it. Home births that we sound crazy to me. I mean, look, I've been on this earth. I've wandered these continents a long time. And still, I constantly am surprised to find out a new piece of information about how dangerous pregnancy can be. It just feels like in casual conversations, surely by now, I've known enough people who've had babies that I feel like I would have an understanding of all of the dangers that are involved. Nope, there's always something new. And so I can understand people not wanting to go into hospitals. Trust me. I can understand not wanting to go into a hospital. But it just, I don't know, it seems like there's so much that can go wrong. Why would you want to introduce a delay in time? Yeah. So no, I'm not condemning it for lack of risk. No way. What do you think of the name? Archie. Oh, I didn't know the name. Oh, that's okay. It's okay. Is that you announced officially as Archie on their Instagram? I think I read some of those that might be Archipold, but obviously they're going to go with Archie. It's Archie Harrison. See, yeah, if you're a royal baby, you need a stuffy old person name. Archie is to, oh, you're a fun kid from the 1950s. You need a name that sounds like it's a 100 years old. Archibald is better. I had the baby's code name in my head, which I thought was a good code name, baby Sussex. I like that as a baby code name. Yeah. Archie feels not as good as baby Sussex. I might continue to call him that if they're going to go by Archie. Prince Archie eventually, maybe. Will he be called a prince? I never remember how this goes. He will automatically become a prince when the queen dies. Okay. Because if your grandparent is king, your prince. Okay. But the queen could make him a prince earlier. I always find this confusing that exactly which way things go. And then there's the confusion over royal consort, which is like royal, but not really. Okay. So he's going to be a prince. Interesting. Yeah. Prince Baby Sussex. Prince Archie. Welcome to the world, little baby. Do you know, I wrote a note down to talk something to talk about today. And it relates to baby. So we may as well knock it up to now. Yeah. Let's clear out these show notes, Brady. Now, this was actually, this was for today. This was a new one. And that was, I saw something or I was talking with someone. And you know how there's this trope of parents breaking news to their kid that they were like unintended. You were an accident. There can be a story like that. And the parents have break the news to the kid like gently because this is somehow going to be hurtful information. Is that ever hurtful? Like would anyone care if they were not intended? Like they get to exist. Like would you care if you told that, you know, your parents had not intended to do that. You should have a kid and then you came along like why is that even sensitive news? I don't understand. You're aware of like the trope of it. I'm aware, here's the, I'm aware of the trope of it. I've seen it on TV. I don't know anyone in real life who feels that way. But also I've never been curious enough to ask anyone, hey, are you intended or not intended? Right? Like it's gross. No one wants to know this. But no, I, so I've seen it on TV shows. And I find it unconvincing even in the context of a drama where you're trying to stir up some kind of problem for the TV show where we that you're watching. It feels like I don't, I don't understand. I will even go one further and say like, the thing about like your parents, they're not your real parents. They're just the people who've raised you since birth and taken care of you every moment your life. You know, your real parents, you know, is some biological parent. That also to me has no resonance. Like I really thought about it. It's like if I discovered somehow, like, oh, my parents weren't quote, really my parents. I had some biological parents and I was actually adopted. I can't conceive of how that would even matter. Like how is this relevant in the same way that like the intentionality or the accidentalness seems totally irrelevant. The thing that matters is that people raised you. That's the thing that matters. That's what makes a parent. I'm not going to go as far as that. Okay. You'll only go halfway. You'll agree with me that the accidental thing is ridiculous. Oh, of course I agree with that. I brought it up. But the one about the, you know, not your real parents. There are two other things going on there. One is there could have been deception and like growing up, thinking that you've been deceived about something quite fundamental. I mean, I know you're having just said it doesn't matter if you're an accident or not. It's also part of your existence. But like something so fundamental as what two people combined to make you a person. It's the deception. But the second thing is I do think and there seems to be evidence of this, like, you know, anecdotally, is people do have a compulsion to want to know who their biological parents are. So if someone comes up and says, you know, these two people aren't your biological parents. It's two other people and you've only just found out. A lot of people seem very determined to want to know who those people are. I don't think it necessarily will affect their relationship with the people who brought them up, but it does seem to be something very basic there that people want. I'm just trying to think, could I claim deception on the part of my parents? If I found out, let's say I was either adopted or let's say only one of them was my biological parent, right? One of these situations. Yeah. I don't think I could claim deception because I'm pretty sure I've never been straight up like, hey, am I your biological child? Right? I don't think I could pin that down. We're like, aha, I've uncovered the deceit. There is deception by omission. There is a sin of omission. Maybe. To be honest, let me say this. If my mum and dad called, or one of them called me up tomorrow and said, we adopted you, I actually don't think I would feel very affected. I'd probably have quite an academic curiosity to find out who my biological parents were, but I wouldn't feel the compulsion. I think I'm just too old now to care about the deception. It'd be like, whatever. I was just realizing that this totally scales with age. Yes. Rolling it back in time, there's the concept of, if you are, say, 14 and you discover that your parents were not your biological parents, there's the fantasy of, oh, well, my biological family must be royalty. It was going to whisk me away to a much better life than this nonsense, right? When you haven't lived with your parents for 10 years and you're just an adult in the world, then it seems totally relevant. It seems like it doesn't matter. I'm going to have to... Yeah. I'm going to back up and put an asterisk on it to say that the younger you are, the more it matters. Also, the older you are as the child, the more you've just done crappy stuff and lied and done perceptions and, like, so you can no longer be a righteous to say, how dare you, because you look at yourself and think, well, you know, he who is without sin curse the first time. And also, there's the degree of age you get older, you see your parents as more flawed anyway. So it's like, oh, well, I'll just add that to the list of things your parents have done that are flawed. So again, these are things, both these things, sky with age as well. I can't remember if I've gotten this on record on the podcast before, but I want to get it on record again just in case I haven't. What are you laughing at, Brady? I don't know. I'm just trying to... I can't even guess what you're about to say. You're about to use this, maybe, all the different options. I like to use the podcast as a way to mark things down. And here's... Yeah. Here's one of the things I'm curious about in the future. Yeah. So, genetic testing keeps getting cheaper and cheaper. And I think almost without question within the course of my lifetime, getting your DNA scan is going to become a routine part of going to the doctor at some point that everyone's just going to be like, yep, you're going to get a gene profile done and it's going to be inconceivable that medicine was done before this technology existed. You know, I don't know when, but I'd just say within my lifetime. And I think that that is the moment when we find out how many people are really the children of the parents that they think they are. This is the moment that, say, the actual infidelity rate of the human species is revealed. Is the generational turn between when genetic testing is totally unheard of. And so, of course, these are everybody's children. And then that generation has to walk through like a lot of doctors have to have a conversation with like, oh, just so you know, these aren't actually your parents. Like, we've done DNA profiles and all three of you. And one of them are your parents and one of them is not your parents. And I'm kind of curious for that to happen. Like, I really think that's going to be a kind of news story or not even out of news story, but just an interesting thing like, what is the infidelity rate among the human species? And I don't think it is whatever is reported. I guess I think about this sometimes and particularly now in this conversation because like, when I did my video about like the true history of the royal family a long time ago, and you know, you're tracing this like family tree over a thousand years. I always just look at that family tree and think, come on, there's no chance that all of these children are the recorded children of whoever they're supposed to be. These whole family across this whole generation, we have all of these genealogy records, 100% correct. Not a chance. Yeah, there wasn't a single that, you know, there was no infertile people there that had to, yeah, you know, no milkman came to visit, right? Like this never happened. You know, or I think of the, it's pretty famous in America that if you want to try to trace down your genealogy, like you go talk to the Mormons, you go to Salt Lake City and they have just like this incredible archive of human family relations. And I just think the same thing when I look at those is like, well, this is a record of marriages and children. It presents a stronger case than it really has. Like, come on, these records are perfectly perfect, but we just sort of pretend like they are. Oh, yes, trace this back and your great uncle Edward was this famous person. Oh, really? Is there a 100% straight line from here to there? Well, now you're kind of wavering a little bit from something you said earlier because you said, you know, what defines your parents who brought you up, not who's DNA made you, but family treat just be a pathway of people who brought each other up. I'm bringing it up in the case of like the pet peeve of mine is royal blood. Yeah, exactly. Like someone, God damn it. Like I'm just, there's a couple of people I know who do this where they're like, oh, my great uncle is a member of this royal family in unspecified country. And I always just like, I can't contain my eyes and my head from rolling so hard, both because of like the mathematics of it of a guess, yes, we all have this. It doesn't take a lot to be related to someone who's interesting or famous. And then I just add on top of that, the really, you have perfect knowledge of your relatedness to this other person, not a chance. So that's why I don't think it matters for any individual person. It only starts to matter if you're making claims where the actual lines are, right? Like the whole concept of a royal family is that's like, oh, these are the children. It's the same family that we're following through time. That's like the agreed upon human conceit of such a thing. But for a regular person, I don't think it matters at all. No. It only matters for like the royal family and Game of Thrones. You're trying to bring back Game of Thrones breeding. I'm not going to talk about Game of Thrones because I know you haven't watched it yet. And also, I don't think there's anything in the world you're less allowed to talk about than Game of Thrones because of spoilers and stuff. And I agree with that by the way completely. I'm 100% on board with that. But there's one thing about Game of Thrones and this won't be spoilery. That's fine. It's just like a general observation. And there's true of lots of movies and TV shows. The extremes people will go to just because they're genetically related to someone. It amazes me. Can you elaborate in general? Like someone's holding my cousin hostage in their castle. We're going to have a 10 year war to go and free him because he's my blood and can't hold my family hostage with that consequences. That kind of thing. Okay. That kind of thing though, in the context that you're presenting it, medieval fantasy warfare. That feels much more like, oh, it's not actually about family. It's like gang warfare, right? It's honor culture. Oh, I'm part of this group. And if you attack this group, we have to retaliate because if we don't, then it marks out that the group is weak. And then we're really in trouble. Okay. I think that's what it is. But I'm sure everybody has a kind of inbuilt biological preference to defend and protect family. Oh, yes. A little bit of the like, oh, you're prepared to lay down your life for eight cousins or two brothers, right? Like that kind of thing. You're doing the mental calculation. Okay. I just think that's built into because of evolution. In the same way, it's like, oh, people like babies, you hold a baby in the baby smiles and you feel good. It's because if you didn't feel good on the inside, you know, that line of humans died off. The line of humans that didn't like babies, they went away. And the line of humans that didn't like their babies more than other people's babies, it was the same thing. So I think it's just kind of built in your brain. Yeah. But the day and I, a lot of people who don't like babies on planes has remained strong. This time for high dot ting dot com. Ting is the mobile phone service for the modern era. Why pay for a set monthly data plan when you can just pay for what you actually use with Ting? You're around Wi-Fi all the time. You don't need to pay for data that you're not going to be using when it's just going over your Wi-Fi network. Nope. 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So I have to do a sports ball corner. Oh yes. And I don't think this is going to mean much to you. This is more like, you know, for the record. Okay, you're getting something on the sports ball record here. This has to be on the record because a lot of people ask about it. So for brief background, basically you know that I have this growing reputation for missing incredible sporting comebacks of my teams. So I slipped through the greatest ever come back in this, uh, in this super bowl when the Patriots came back. But more famously, my football team, my soccer team is Liverpool. And they had this famous champions league final a few years back now where they were 3-0 down at half time. I gave up on them. I stopped watching and they came back and won this incredible game. I somehow feel like you're talking about this on the podcast is further jinksing you. You're putting out bad juju into the air and you're causing this to happen to yourself. Well, I mean, as long as my team's winning, it's probably not that bad. Okay. So as we record, my team again, Liverpool made it to the semi finals of the Champions League again, which is this big, you're a wide competition that all the teams want to win. And the semi final is played over two leagues. You play one game at the other teams stadium and then you play one game at your stadium and you add up the scores, most goals wins. So Liverpool were playing against like the super team with the world's best player in their team. They were playing against Barcelona and the game at Barcelona, Liverpool lost three nil, which is like bit of a spanking. And so they were pretty much written off for the return leg back at Liverpool. So the game was played last night as we record. And my wife said to me, she found out the game was on. She said, I guess you're going to want to watch that game. And I said, are you kidding? There's no way I'm going to watch that game. It's going to be utterly depressing. If Barcelona scored just one goal, Liverpool would need five. Right. Because of like a way goal rules and stuff like that. So I was like, there's no way they can score goals or stop Barcelona scoring. Wait, they need four. No, because if the scores are level, the team that scores the most goals away from their home ground win. South Barcelona had scored one goal. Okay. Liverpool would have needed five to win five four. Four or would have been a win for Barcelona. Okay, that's very strange. All right. Okay. But yes, even I know that three o and soccer is brutal. So anyway, I said, you know, staff that let's watch Game of Thrones. We haven't watched it yet. So we were watching Game of Thrones and then like towards three quarters of the way through the episode, I looked at my phone, a Twitter and it's like all capital letters, crazy tweets. Can you believe this? It's amazing. And Liverpool would come back to three nil. So it was three o. So it was like next goal wins for the last 10 minutes. So I did say I'm afraid we're going to have to stop Game of Thrones for 10 minutes. So I did see the end Liverpool won four nil. Greatest comeback in history, you know, being lauded today. And yet again, I'd missed the three goal comeback. I was sitting there watching, watching Game of Thrones. I couldn't watch it any time. And I'm not, I don't feel that bad about it because for that 10 minutes, I was just pacing around the room and nervous wreck. My wife said, for goodness sake, just you're making me nervous. Can you just sit down like? So if I'd had to go through 90 minutes of that, I think I might have died. So it's probably for the best that I was able to just swoop in at the end and enjoy the 10 minutes of glory. Okay. I know this is going to sound dumb and genuinely don't mean this to sound patronizing. I'm trying to understand why so nervous and anxious that you're pacing around the room. Like that seems like a lot of anxiety for the sports game. Watching sport is the most anxious I get in life. Why? I can't explain it. Sometimes even when I don't even have like one of my teams is in it. I can get nervous at the end of a game if I've just imprinted with one team and I want them to win. I can't explain it. I know it's irrational. Sometimes I even look at myself and I think this is stupid. Why do I care about sport? You know, I do sometimes look at these things and think that's just an inflated piece of leather being kicked around by strangers with a made up game. But it affects me. I'm not doing that because I still always hold by this idea that you can't explain interest. I'm not asking why you're interested in sports. That's a points question. I'm more interested in the nerves. Like is it enjoyable nervousness? No. It's not it's not enjoyable. But at the end, it's fantastic pleasure, which is probably enhanced by the nerves that came beforehand. Like at the end of the game, I was so emotional and happy. And like, you know, the players were hugging and the crowd was singing and they were waving to the crowd. And I was like, I was nearly tearing up. I was so happy. And maybe that's the reward for the earlier pain. So it's like a self-trained skinner box. I don't know what that means. You're getting these random rewards of excitement that your team is one. But you are also the one who is generating that excitement of, oh, yes, the team one. And it's a kind of feedback loop. I don't know. I mean, like, it's probably just like an enhanced version of when you watch a movie and you're getting nervous watching the shining or you get sad when a character in a TV show dies or it's probably just that except the entertainment instead of being a fictionalized dramatization is a bunch of people playing sport. I don't know. I can't explain that. But it's very real. Yeah. It's like, I can't remember where I came across this, but maybe one of these million video essays on YouTube explaining movies and TV, right? That's like the flood of them on YouTube. But one of the main, made an excellent point that was kind of stuck with me sometimes about how like, oh, you get really involved in these characters. But then everybody hates it when a show pulls a cheap move like, oh, it was all just a dream. You know, oh, this episode wasn't real. It was just in the person's head. They were crazy in a hospital and pulling the excellent point like everybody feels cheated by that. But like the drama that took place in the dream isn't any less real than the drama that you're watching in which someone is dreaming. Like, why are you getting emotionally upset that the show is cheated you out of one kind of fiction? Right? It's like, wait a minute. I don't know. I feel like there's something about that, which is like an arroborous eating its own tail. Like, oh, my brain kind of spins around. Like, yeah, wait a minute. This comes back to Canon, doesn't it? I guess it does. This artificial thing of what's official because no, the comparison to why do you get emotionally involved in watching a television show that feels like a good comparison. The correct viewing experience can create a tremendous amount of tension in the viewer. And maybe in some sense, that makes even less sense than sports because it's all a fiction. Nothing's even happening, right? Whereas your sports game is actually happening. You know, there are people doing something on a field. Yeah. Whereas I'm just watching and it follows monster slowly sneak up on people and it's incredibly tense. Well, away from like, you know, your personal life, what moves you the most? Like, what can ever stir you to emotion? Like, can you get angry at a politician or obviously you don't get moved by any kind of sports game or a movie or a TV show? What do you think has the most ability to move your needle the most? I feel like you need to narrow down that question. I think you're like, oh, running into a dog on the street makes me very happy. Is that what Brady means? Or like in terms of anxiety, I don't know. I mean, you know, not to get into it, but obviously politics would be an answer like that for people, but I, you know, I'm very separated from that. I use that as an obvious example. Like politics stirs me up a lot, but I've never seen it stir you up. Yeah. So I wonder if there is anything that stirs you up. Like I'm trying to think about it in the way that you mean with sports, but I have to get back to you on that. Oh, okay. By the way, by the way, Brady, I think my YouTube is listening to the podcast as well. Yeah. Because you know what YouTube has been really trying to get me to watch. And I cannot figure out for the life of me why. F1 racing. My YouTube has been just pushing F1 racing in the recommended tabs all the time. Like they showed it figured you out. Great. It hasn't been listening. I've been telling you for years that you will like Formula One. And it has figured that too. You are right to be a Formula One fan. Here's the thing. I haven't clicked on any of those videos because somehow my YouTube deciding that I really need to watch F1 videos. It makes me fear that you are right. That you have seen something in me that the algorithm has also identified. Like, oh, click. We just recognize he's this statistical person. And he will probably like this kind of sport, even though we can't get him on any of the other ones. Like this one, this is the gateway. And so I keep seeing them in recommendations, but I've been staying away from them so far. We can't call this homework because it may never happen. But I've been telling Gray that he should watch the first episode of that new Netflix series about last year's Formula One season. Because I watched that. And I thought, this is what I want Gray to watch. Watch that. If you hate it, I surrender. If you watch that and think, okay, I can see something here. Then there's a conversation to be heard. Because I thought that was a really interesting distillation of Formula One that I quite liked. And I thought it did justice to it. You're getting me here, breed, because we're running out of Netflix in my house. What was the name of this again? I can't remember what it's called. It's like drive to survive. I've got some crappy name like that. That's not very good. But they basically embedded cameras with a lot of Formula One teams and Formula One people. I've only watched the first one myself because I know that season so well. And to an expert, it's like, okay, I know what this stuff is. But you're watching it like, oh, this is so basic. Well, no, but I mean, it had a lot of stuff in it that I've never seen before. It had unbelievable access. The production quality was fantastic. A lot of the things that I and people like about Formula One are captured in that net. And yet it's made a bit more palatable for a Netflix audience. So you should have a look. Okay. I'll take a look at that. I'll see what's there. I'm a little, little afraid, but you're kind of getting me with a Netflix show about Formula One. That feels like a good place to start. And I'm very much of the attitude that you may not like it. I'm not on a, you know, trying to give you some kind of road to Damascus here. But see what you think. Okay. I'll do that pretty. I'll do that. Now look, I know there's a saying that curiosity killed the cat. But for creatures other than cats, I think curiosity is actually a pretty good thing. In fact, I was on one of those websites today that has all those sort of wise quotes. You know, the ones where there's something that was supposedly said by Albert Einstein, turns out it was misinterpreted or misquoted. Well, anyway, I was looking up quotes all about curiosity. And there was one that apparently Eleanor Roosevelt said, she said, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. People allow us to be your fairy godmother today and endow you with the gift of a free month on curiosity stream. That's right. Curiosity streamer back as an episode sponsor and they're now brimming with more than 2,400 documentaries and nonfiction titles from leading filmmakers, including a range of original exclusives that just they've got access to the library starts at a mere $2.99 a month. But for a free trial month, go to curiositystream.com, slash Halloween internet and use the promo code Halloween internet during sign up. That's Halloween internet or one word lowercase. Now I was having a bit of a browse at what's available. Some of the real big names of science are on there like Stephen Hawking, people like that. But I couldn't help noticing another big name in my recommendations. There was a film called Digits and it was hosted by none other than Derek Moula. That's right. The Duke himself talking about how the internet and YouTube and stuff like that works. If that doesn't get you signing up, look, I don't know what will. Curiositystream works on all your gadgets and platforms, Apple TV, Roku, Amazon Fire TV, Chromecast, mobiles, tablets, you name it. There's a whole big list on the website. You can check out to get watching the address again curiositystream.com slash Halloween internet and the promo code Halloween internet. We'll have a link in the show notes. Make sure you use Halloween internet so they know you came from here. And our thanks to curiosity stream for sponsoring this episode. So I heard from a Tim, a listener who, funnily enough, is talking about another Tim. And that's because this person had one some kind of competition or opportunity. And as a result of it, maybe in a position where they get to ask Tim Cook, the Apple Boss, one question, I'm imagining as part of some Q&A panel or something. I don't know, but you know, you get one question at Tim Cook. And it made me think, Gray, if you could ask Tim Cook, one question, what would you ask him? How would you use that power? How would you use that opportunity? I would have no questions for Tim Cook. No, because okay, look, well, the question is trying to get at is like, what's the secret thing that you'd like him to say? But you're never, you're never going to get an interesting answer out of Tim Cook. It's for public consumption that he doesn't want out in the world already. I think like people in those positions, they're under such constraints from all ends. Like they're under constraint from responsibility to shareholders. They're under constraint about what they're legally allowed to even say. They're under operating constraints of the company. Like there's so many things that now that Apple is more in a way like a, like a kind of normal company. I mean, for God's sake, like they're making credit cards now. Like they're a normal giant company. Yeah. The CEO is a bit like the result of a, of a forced diagram upon a point. So honest to God, if I was given the opportunity, if someone said, like, oh, hey, do you want to ask Tim Cook a question? I would totally pass on that. Like I wouldn't find it interesting. And this is going to sound like I'm bragging here, but I know that I'm not speaking out of turn because I have been given opportunities like this with it. Like, oh, hey, do you want to ask this famous person some questions? I've totally turned those down because I've had the exact same thought. Like I don't see what the point of this is. They're not going to say anything that's interesting to any question I could possibly conceive of. And I don't really see what the point is. So I have no questions for Tim Cook. I guess is the answer. What about you, Brady? I know what you would ask him. Well, you'd be asking him. What am I supposed to do with this Apple pencil? That's what you'd be asking him. I would. I'd say bloody hell, man. Well, I figured it out now. It's for killing bees. That made me so annoyed in the edit, Brady. It really did. I felt like you haven't given it a chance. Oh, you're having a fun time getting rid of this bee. This forever is what the pencil is going to be in your brain. I was so annoyed. I was so annoyed when I was editing. It was totally lost on me as well with the deliciousness that it was a bee. But I didn't realize until afterwards. So it was like, ah, that was nice. Really amusing. You know, I, it wasn't nice at all. It was so spontaneous, too. Like it wasn't set off. It was just like, it just happened. There's the serendipity of the podcast. You know, like in a movie where someone picks up some dagger or weapon or something and you think that's just too like random. That's obviously going to become really important later. And it's going to be used to kill the villain at the end or something. That was what happened. It was like, there was all this build up over like we played the long game with the Apple pencil over like months. And it all accommodated in this moment where a bee infiltrated my office during a recording. And the thing that popped into my hand was the Apple pencil. Like it was just beautiful and I didn't like completely unplanned. That's why I left it in. It was frustratingly perfect. The Brady sent me this text message. Quote, to call Dollas horrendous. Is unfair on places that are merely horrendous. What were you doing in Dollas? Well, I was leaving Washington, right, coming back to the UK. And I had to go through Dollas because that was where my heirloom is flying out of. And like I know you always talk Dollas down. And I have joined you in that. And I have been there in the past and said, great, you were right. This really is terrible. But either I'd forgotten how terrible it was. Or I saw it in a new way. But like I'm sure it wasn't like this last time. Because what happened was I was like departing. I checked in and I had to go down to like the scanning area, security. And they've done it like how I must imagine they do prisons or something where the next terrible, terrible thing is being like hidden from you. Yes. Yeah. Because normally with security, you can see security ahead and get an idea of what's coming and how big the lines are and you can brace yourself. But Douglas like tricked me. And I couldn't see anything. And I just kept walking and went down these like escalators. And then suddenly I was in this concrete dungeon like it was underground. It was concrete everywhere. It was dark. There was no natural light. It was just steel rods and gray, gray cement everywhere. The people working there had no idea. They couldn't control the crowds. There was way too many people, way too few staff. We were waiting forever. People were getting really angry. At one point, I remember some staff member told us off about where we were standing and said, you need to move down and like gave us a talking to. And we all looked at each other just incredulously. We couldn't believe it. Like I even turned to the guy next to me and said, they're talking like this is our fault. Like this is not our fault. This is their fault. It was so bad. And just the decor of it made it worse. Like I've had long waits before in security areas, but having it underground like in this brutal, brutal architecture, it just like makes it 10 times worse. I don't know this area that you're speaking up. I feel like you've found some new horror in Dallas that I am unaware of. Well, I haven't got like the clearance thing you've got. So you don't have to go down there. I haven't got like the golden ticket yet. So maybe that's what it is. Because the thing is I'm almost always changing a Dallas. So I may be coming in in a different way than you are. Seriously, it was like we were being sent to a labor camp is what I felt. There was such misery and just like the psychological way of doing it and hiding things from you before the next horrible thing. Actually, I've took a note and then I saw something completely unexpected. Like once I'd finally got through and I was still working my way out of the concrete maze. There was this little side corridor in this horrible part of the airport that you wouldn't want to be in. And there were these things called sleep pods where you could buy time. And they were like seriously, they were like lockers. They were like large lockers and you could buy sleep time in these sleep pods by the hour. Terrible. So you know, I finally got out after what felt like a lifetime. And the actual like terminal part I was in was actually quite nice. I didn't mind it. Like I think it was new. It didn't feel like the rest of Dallas. That was all right. And then I had a really great view of all the at-ats. There's so many people who've been to Dallas talk about, oh, I wanted to see the at-ats and I saw hardly any of them. I don't know how that can be because where I was, they were like thousands of them. I must have seen a thousand at-at maneuvers before I got on my plane watching them zooming all over the time. And that there were like little work of these. That was I quite enjoyed that when you're not in them. They're quite amusing. You know, it means there's a lot more activity out on the time act than you normally would say. So I got a lot of at-at action, but the security unacceptable. People do like to visit the at-ats. And I will just mention here that it is my understanding that there's a whole bunch of construction that's going on underground at Dallas. Maybe that's part of the reason why you went through this security area. I've never come across. Right. But their ultimate plan is to connect the terminals in such a way that no longer require the at-ats. So my understanding is at some point in the future, those at-ats, they will become endangered and then eventually go extinct at Dallas Airport. Would you buy one for the HCI Museum? It would be cool to own one assuming all of the necessary support infrastructure to maintain and pay for it. It would be cool to own it in the same way it would be cool to own an attack helicopter. It would be cool to own many things. Would I actually want to purchase one? No. Would the museum accept a donation of an at-at? For sure, of course. Wouldn't it be great if the Hallow Internet Museum had a ticket area where you buy your ticket? And then you have to get in an at-at to go to the main gallery. Brady, I love it. Yeah, I love it. I know this thing will never happen, but please, if it ever does happen, I want a pointless transfer that is required. That you have to go to an entrance that is just a little staircase up to a waiting platform. You board the at-at and then the at-at drives you over to the actual museum to let you in. There's no reason it has to be that way, but that's the way it is. I'll set it up so you buy your ticket on Curry Street or something in Adelaide and then you get in the at-at and it drives you away from the pitiful street and docks with the black stump. I mentioned this simply because, I mean, you know, a thing like, say, airport construction is not exactly something that happens at a lightning pace. But if you're thinking, ooh, someday in the long, distant future, you might want to go see those at-ats. I just want to mention that maybe they won't be around for forever and you might be filled with regret that you missed the chance to see one live at Delus and the last operational ones in the world will be at the Hallow Internet Museum. And that will be the only place where you can see them. I'm sorry you had to go through Delus Brady. If you were in the- I always say this, people tell me they're like, I want to know, so it was nice. There's two areas. There's the AB terminals, which are nice, and then there's the CD terminals, which are hell on earth. And those are the ones that are bad ones. And depending on where you are, people can think Delus is okay or not okay. Okay. But I'm with you. Every time I go to Delus, the experience is, Oh, I forgot how bad it was or that I thought my memories surely must be exaggerations. And then you go there and know you're faced with the horror or new. You couldn't remember it as it truly was. It really is this bad. It's a terrible place and I'm sorry that you had to pass through it on your trip in America. Wow. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, say? I don't really see how Delus makes you stronger. Delus just makes you sadder. This episode of Hello Internet is brought to you in part by Dashlane. Dashlane is here to keep you safe online from every direction. Dashlane generates secure passwords for you so you don't have to worry about remembering every password that has a number, a symbol, or a capitalized letter. Whenever you go to log into a website, Dashlane can automatically fill in the password for you. And every time you set up a new account, Dashlane can create the secure passwords that you need. It's the best way to protect yourself from corporate data breaches. You'll be alerted as soon as a data breach happens and notified if you've reused that breached password anywhere else. This lets you stay in control of your online identity. I know I couldn't possibly remember my passwords anymore if I didn't use a password manager. There's just so many things to keep track of. It's impossible for a human being to do. You need software to help you. You need to get Dashlane. Dashlane has a free version that lets you store up to 50 passwords on one device, and a premium version that will let you have unlimited password storage that syncs between all of your devices instantly fills in forms and that gives you access to a VPN and file storage. So to try Dashlane, go to dashlane.com slash hellointernet. And the first 200 people who use that URL and the promo code hellointernet all one word will get 10% off Dashlane premium. That's dashlane.com slash hellointernet and use promo code hellointernet to get 10% off Dashlane premium. Thanks to Dashlane for supporting the show and thanks to Dashlane for keeping 10 million users passwords across 150 countries safe. Should we do a little YouTube, go on? I think we've got a few YouTube items between us. I have one little thing to mention about YouTube. Now, listeners of the show will know, oftentimes we complain about YouTube. And I thought, you know, I want to give credit to YouTube for something. I want to give credit to YouTube for their new dashboard. Over the past, I don't know now. A year maybe? YouTube has been testing this new back end for their whole system of uploading and publishing and managing and editing and everything that has to do with the video back end. They've been working on making a new version of it. And the YouTube back end for years has been squirrely and we've complained about it. It's inconsistent and it looks different in different places. And we give YouTube a really hard time sometimes on the show. But I just wanted to congratulate whatever team is working on this dashboard in the back end. I think they've done a really tremendous job in simplifying and clarifying and presenting all of the information in a nice way and making it clearer about how to manage videos. I was just arranging in earlier today's scheduling seven videos in a row. And I just felt like, oh, it's really nice actually to use this new system and not feel like I'm using something that's duct taped together from the mid 2000s that just happened to be the way it was. So there's not much to say when things are nice, but again, just wanted to get on the record. Thanks to all the YouTube engineers who've made this new dashboard. I think it's really great. And I think they're rolling it out to everybody slowly over the next couple months. And two thumbs up. I really like it. It's all right. What don't you like about it? I feel like there's a few things that it wasn't quite ready. And it's been foisted on me and that it wasn't 100% ready. Like it doesn't do with playlists for it. Well, yeah, you should still have the option to go back. Yeah, you can. But then they'll keep pushing the new one at you. It's like red at trying to force their app on you. Like you keep telling it, no, I don't want the app. And they keep saying, you sure you don't want the app. It's a bit like that. I get that. I guess I just think I've noticed myself in the last two months having to switch back to the older system suddenly much, much less. There's only a couple things now that I have to switch back. And one of them is playlists. It's playlists. It's sharing a private video with a different account. And some of the cards stuff I have to switch back for the old things. But it is good. It is a big improvement. I do like it. And things about it, you know, at first when you can't find something, you're like, oh, those idiots, they forgot so and so. And then you're like, oh, no, they've put it somewhere. And that's a good place for it. So as you get more familiar with it, I'm getting more and more comfortable with saying it's pretty good. Yeah, I was frustrated when it first rolled out because there were so few things that you could do on it. And I mentioned on one of the previous shows that I was even concerned that they were going to take away end cards because I, you know, end cards still hadn't shown up in the new system. And now they're there. And I feel much better. It's okay. Good. This still exists. And the new way of doing it is better than the old way of doing it. I'll be curious to see when it's actually 100% done. But I can't imagine what an enormous job this was engineering-wise, like on the back end to change all of this stuff. And I just, I wanted to mention it because it's one of those rare cases where a big company changes something about the interface. And I actually feel like it's for the better. Unlike other companies, cough, reddit, cough, you know, or so many of them. It's like, oh, here's the new version. And you're going to hate it. But this one I actually like can get much better. Well, I'm going to go on a slight downer. Okay. But you can take these as down as well. You can take them as like, just like, friendly suggestions, constructive criticism. And there's a couple of YouTubey things that have just been on my mind. The first one is there's this new kind of, I don't know what you would call it, like a, a division or a part of YouTube that's all about creators. I've got their own Twitter account called YouTube creators. And they're all about like helping the creator community with advice and tips and news and things like that. And because so many people now make YouTube videos, I imagine that's quite a massive community to be servicing. Yeah. I don't even know what you call it. Like a, it's an entity of YouTube that's all about creators. Their YouTube staff, presumably running it. You're talking about those messages that show up on when you first log in and they're like, hey, here's how to increase engagement with your thumbnails. Yeah, yeah, they make videos, they make videos and tutorials and they send emails and they have a Twitter account and like, they're all about helping creators, which is good, right? But I feel a bit like, they're becoming a bit like too big and too kind of lost in their own identity. And they kind of now think they are like creators themselves in this strange way. And I couldn't really like put it into words until I finally got a message this week that made it hit home for me where they had like, here's all the news and here's what's going on in the world. And you know, here's a new tutorial for you. And this is great. And here's what's happening in the YouTube world. And then finally, they had this big section towards them, which was really self congratulatory about how their own channel, their creator channel, had passed a million subscribers. Right. And they're like, awesome news, everyone. Our YouTube creator channel has passed a million subscribers. This is huge. We're super excited. We never thought we'd be this big. And it suddenly struck me as, hang on a second. This is not, I don't think this is what you're supposed to be. It's a bit like if you went to your personal trainer and he or she told you, look how strong I am and look how fit I am. I'm awesome. I've never been in such good shape. It's like, no, no, that's not what you're for. You're supposed to get me in good shape. Not tell me what great shape you're in. And it just suddenly struck me that this was like a group of people who are like, oh, we're filmmakers and we're celebrities now and right now. And like, I don't know, it just feels weird. I know a few people who've worked at YouTube and then gotten a bit like excited by it all and decided they wanted to be YouTubers themselves and fair enough. And some of them have then done it quite successfully. But this feels like there's a whole like branch of YouTube now that has decided that they're like, YouTube stars or something. I don't know. It was just, it felt odd. Okay. So they're in a difficult position because this kind of thing where you're making it's an official YouTube channel and it's about making YouTube videos. Yeah. If it wasn't popular, that would be embarrassing. Yes. Yes. Right? Because if you can't have a channel that instructs people how to make good videos, that it itself can't make good videos. Yeah. You have a real problem. Yes. Like I'm just thinking I haven't watched it, but I saw that they're like, oh, how to increase subscriber engagement and how to increase your fanbase by doing a crossover featuring MKBHD. And that was the first one of their videos that I was tempted to click on in forever. Because I'm like, oh, I like MKBHD. I'm kind of curious to see him do this interview with the YouTube channel. But I haven't like, it just didn't have time. So I didn't click on it. I was like, oh, you almost got me. You almost got me YouTube learning channel. And so for sure, like that video must have done better than the other things. So like they're using the tricks. But they're in a bad position because unlike, say my videos or unlike, say your videos, they get to just advertise themselves to literally every single person who's logging into YouTube to upload a video. And they have a re-biola dresses and they can send us a spam with email at the time. Yeah. And by that scale, a million subscribers almost feels poultry. It almost feels like nothing. I'm pretty sure I could rack up an additional million subscribers in very little time if I could butt advertise one of my videos in the middle of the YouTube dashboard for everyone logging onto YouTube. I'm pretty sure I could gain an additional million really quick if I could control that real estate for a week. But so like, I feel for them because they're in a totally no-win situation. Well, they didn't have to brag about it. I've got the month in review newsletter here for May 2019. Okay. Hi, number five. It's been a big month. And boy, do we have a lot of updates for you taking a page out of your book. Thanks, guys. Wait, what? We put together some videos to keep you informed and inspired. Anyway, and so begins this list of stuff that have the YouTube boss doing an interview with a creator and then something about gaming and something about merch, which is news. And then a bit of self-promotion about some training courses they've been doing for up and come as fair enough. Okay. But then here it is. The headline YouTube creators channel hits one million subs. Shakeyhand emoji that I'm not quite sure what it means. It's a milestone moment for us. Exclamation mark. The YouTube creators channel hyperlinked to the channel has hit one million subs. And we want to thank you in capital letters for helping us get there. Clapping hands emoji from collapse to comments. This never would have been possible without you. Exclamation mark. To celebrate, we've put together our favorite tips for sharing your own milestone moments. And then there's a series of emoji. Clapping hands, hearts as eyes, celebration, trophy, some kind of chart and a star. And then a gift of lots of really good looking people. Looking very happy. He's excited. He said that with real disdain. There's a gift of a bunch of good looking people to hell with these young beautiful people making YouTube videos. Let's just put it this way. I haven't got a clip of me and Kate doing an objectivity video in this montage. Look, we all know that's what the people want. I don't know why YouTube creators haven't had it on there. Actually, that would be a good video. You could do a video about like using the resources that are around you. It feel like you and Keith could do a good one on their channel. Yeah. I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. It is a little bit weird that it becomes self-congratulatory. And I also find it. I don't know. That email is so the mold of I feel like the story that creators are supposed to say of like, I never thought I was going to be this big. But it's not me. Thanks to you. You're so awesome. That's like the standard line of channels when they grow big. It's like, oh, whoopsie doopsie. Like I didn't expect to become this big. These newsletters just feel like YouTube rewind in text form. Well, I'm glad I don't read their emails. I just see their videos on the dashboard front and center. And I mostly ignore them. Although I also just I see they now have one with Weezie waiter is the newest one. I might have to click that one. Oh, yeah, that might be interesting. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know. Like I said, I think they're in a no win situation. So I feel like I kind of can't blame them for anything. Except I can't blame them for that. Sounds like a ridiculous amount of emoji use. I don't even understand. Yeah, they went high leaving hands emoji. How am I supposed to interpret that? Use your words people. What's the emoji when there are two hands next to each other with like shakiness? I don't understand what that one is. Do you mean two of the single Weezie hand? Or do you mean the praying hands? No, they're not praying. They're like touching thumb to thumb and there's little movement things in between them. I've got it here on a major period. Send it to me on iMessage. What is this? I'm sending it to you on iMessage. Here it comes. Okay. I would never have figured out what this meant in this. I had context. Even then, I've never been sure. Oh, oh, okay. The thing Brady is describing is two upright hands with the thumbs pointed at each other and there's little triangles above them. Is that not pretty much what I said? I don't know. The way you describe it, it sounded ridiculous. Okay. The way I described it sounded, I think, people have a perfectly clear image. No, because your triangles make them sound like triangles. Aren't they representing like movement, sparkliness? I don't know. I've always interpreted this as a double high five. Is that correct? Well, according to a Mojipedia, which calls it Raising Hands and it says two hands raised in the air. Of course, I don't know if this is their words or this comes from some official definition. That's going to be the official description. That's going to be the descriptor one. Two hands raised in the air celebrating success or another joyous event. Raising hands was approved as part of UniCode 6.0 under the name Person Raising Both Hands in Celebration. That's just raising hands in celebration. Who would raise their hands in celebration like that? Maybe like a church or something? People raise their hands like that. But the little triangles clearly mean it's double high five. There's no other way to interpret that. There is no reference to high five anywhere that I can say. I mean, I'm just going to have to go to a Mojipedia and edit that then. I'm sure because it ends in a pedia, I can just change a Mojipedia. That's how that works. There was no high five in nest to this emoji. It is purely raising hands in celebration. No. That's ridiculous. I mean, look, some of the other emojis, some of those suggestive emojis, they don't have official descriptors either, but we all know what they mean. And I feel like this one is the same thing. This is double high five or pictures mean nothing. This isn't put your hands up in the air in celebration. That makes no sense. I don't even understand what is this gesture I'm supposed to do. Here are the other names it's known as. Arms in the air, Banzai, Festivus Miracle, Hallelujah, say it's my churchy stuff, praise hands again, churchy and two hands. So I think I was onto something with my church stuff. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I could give it as praise hands. But I think the praise hands wouldn't have the little triangles. Praise hands would just be the two hand. Get away from the fact they're triangles. It's irrelevant that they're triangles. They just love the reason that they're just little triangles. Do you know what the triangles are? The triangles are the visual representation of this. No. It's the clap. It's the it's the bad. You think of the same waves. Have a look at the same song version. Are you on a mojipedia? Oh, God damn it. I don't want you to get into this. It's going to be the alligator all over again. Okay. No, no, jipedia. I've got it. I've sent it to you that I'm sending you the link. Raising hands. I've already sent it to you. You've already got it. See, Sam's I don't have triangles. They just have that movement hatches or something. As does Google, it's like rays of Jesus light. I don't think they're supposed to be sound waves of hands hitting. I think it's more like, you know, that sort of thing. It's like, you know, sun rays from the clouds. I mean, okay. Some of these seem much more like hallelujah hands. Yeah, right? The ones that don't use triangles because we all know triangles mean sound. Does that make? Yeah. The like emoji decks, good old emoji decks. Those are hallelujah hands if I've ever seen them. But look at HTC. They've got like a whole person holding their hands in their ear. Here's the thing. The description that you read to me there about right two hands raised in the air celebrating success or another joyous event. We have all of these big players. Apple, Google, Microsoft, Samsung, WhatsApp, Twitter, Facebook. They all have the kind of hands with something to indicate sound or heavenly light or celebration or whatever. Yeah. And then there's HTC, which has has a guy who looks like he's really happy and he's raising his arms in the air because of it. HTC is the only one who seems to have actually really followed with the instructions we're supposed to be. And it's like, oh no, everybody else went with this weird, oh, we're just going to have two hands thing. So, proper to HTC, they have a guy who looks really happy. Yeah. I've always found a baffling emoji. I have. I mean, I think it's very straightforward if you think it's double high five, which it is. Well, maybe that's what it's becoming. I don't read it that way. I'm going to 100% have to ask my wife what she thinks this one is. Yeah. Because I'm sure she uses this as double high five. I can. How? That's exciting. Well, I will defer to her judgment because she likes a good emoji. How do we even get on this? I don't even remember. I think because of YouTube creators, liberal use of emojis in their emails. Yeah. I don't mean to bring him into it. I know Jeremy who runs emoji media. And I've talked to him a couple times about this weird thing about how like the words get translated into pictures. And I can every time I see him, I'm like, explain it to me again, but slower because it's always like, I can't believe this is the way this system works. Like, oh, we're going to have a standard. Oh, how is this to represent images? How is this standard going to work? We won't use images. No, we're going to describe the standard for images in words and then let everybody else draw what they think these words mean. It's like some crazy game of telephone between the standards, boards and the companies. Do you know what it's like? It's like the great British bake off. Okay. Explain. Have you watched that a few times? You have haven't you? I've watched a couple episodes of it. So one of the contests they have is they just give everyone the ingredients, the same ingredients and give them really, really sparse instructions. And from that, they've got to figure out what this food that they may never have heard of looks like and how to make it and stuff. And you think everyone's going to make something completely different. You think, well, if you gave me those ingredients and those instructions, I would never have thought to make that. But they all just kind of peek over each other's shoulders. And as they go through the process, they all kind of just merge into one. So that at the end, they all do look kind of similar. And you might get a few dodgy ones, but it's because as they've been making them, they've been copying each other. They all end up with basically the same dish. So that's what this is. I can see that. I'll give you that analogy, Brady. That's a good Brady analogy. I've got one more quick little bit of advice for YouTube. And again, this won't mean much to you because you don't read your emails. But whenever YouTube send you an email about like a copyright dispute, you know, there's been a problem. There's a problem here. They send you this email. And the subject field says, new dispute for you to review. And when you're trying to have a day off email, but you might just check your emails to see if anything important's coming in. I don't want to see that. Like, I don't think that should be in the keyword because it's so like, there's something so sinister about it's new dispute for you to review. It's a call to action. It's about a fight that you have to have. It always ruins my day. When I get one of those emails, even if I don't read it, even if I'm not going to act on it or I'm not going to act on it for ages, it just ruins my day saying it. And I think it ruins my day, not because I know what it is, but because of that wording. And I wish they changed that wording on that email. For clarity here, this is, is this someone else has used your material? You've maybe used somebody else's or could it be either? I think it's somebody using mine. Okay. Yeah. I'm sure it's somebody using mine. Okay. All right, that sort of makes sense. It just rubs me up the wrong way. And I think it's the wording. Now, you get to me all frustrated with YouTube. I agree with you that that wording isn't correct. But this is also my frustration that somehow I've never been able to get access to this system to like copy, protect my own stuff on YouTube. Every time I try, they're like, oh, you're not a big enough publisher. So I like, I still don't know how you are able to have this thing. And I don't have this thing super frustrating because yeah, I run into the same thing where it's like, people will just totally re upload my videos. And like, can I please have access to the copy protection tool? And they're like, oh, you're not a big publisher. You don't have a giant network of YouTube channels like Brady does. You only have one YouTube channel. So you can't have this. It's for I find it frustrating in the opposite direction. I want those emails so that I can review these disputes on this podcast. Do I not review disputes that you bring to me sometimes? Oh, what do you think about this? Why are you on this? I think I wouldn't mind that one thing. In fact, I think you should just do away with this whole system altogether and everything should just be sent to you to decide. I think I would be a good fair use judge. Even things be on copyright, just like beefs you would decide. Oh, great. Yeah. Now you're trying to drag me into YouTube drama. No, thank you. Yeah. There would be no drama. It would just be two creators would be having a fight. And then everyone would be like, all right, well, great. What's the word? And you just say, I think Logan pulls right on that one. Hey, speaking of internet bafes. Yeah. Hashtag. Squarespace. Base beyond 100. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Brady. Brady. Please. I'm so excited. What's been going on with Squarespace beyond 100? Hashtag. Squarespace. Has it? Well, there's a like no joke. Quite literally Brady. Nothing has tempted me back to the internet more than knowing that you're up to mischief on Twitter. Nothing has, has like called me more to break projects like clumps. Then you sometimes send me messages about like, whoa, I'm up to something. I'm like, God, I want to know. So now you have to tell me, you have to tell me, Brady. What have you went up to? I'm dying. I'm dying to know here. Well, I just want them to know. For people who don't know, we want Squarespace, the web posting company who you've heard of many times on this podcast, even, to increase their RSS feed to over 100 episodes because their limit of 100 means people haven't been able to listen to our back catalog on some podcast players. So I've started the Hashtag Squarespace beyond 100. Basically, I'm just trying to make my presence felt on Twitter so that the people at At Squarespace help and At Squarespace know that I and other people think this is something that needs to be reviewed. So I'm coming up with all sorts of creative things, quite often pictures or little stories or just little like reminders in interesting ways. Today we had poetry. We had people were writing high coups and limericks about Squarespace's limitation on RSS feeds, which was quite amusing. Some of them were really good. This is a nice high coup capped at 100 evergreen podcast content. Everyone is sad. There's some good limericks. It was started with a limerick. The fact I'm taking so long to find it shows you how many things there are here in my tweet deck column. That's how many Hashtags there are. Oh, you're actively monitoring this Hashtag Squarespace beyond 100. Completely. You've got a very good chance of a retweet if you're creative with your... You're the captain of that ship. If you can think of something funny that would be capped at 100 that should be greater, say like a thousand and one Arabian nights, but on Squarespace it's only a hundred Arabian nights. That's exactly. That's what Brady's looking for. He might get a retweet. This looks like a limerick. The timsel shouted like thunder. Squarespace beyond 100. What must be done? Artificial limits must be gone. Otherwise, Squarespace has blended. Anyway, I am coming up with lots of ideas and part of me is having to like restrain myself because I can be quite creative and I know how the media works. Some of the ideas I have, I think, this might really get their attention and help the cause. I don't know. Did I find anybody for that? I always forget this about you, Brady. Do you have a mind that can think of the dark side of how to manipulate the media? You know the inside and you have terrifying Pandora's boxes. You could open. I have also got a mole with connections inside Squarespace. I am getting a few little leaks from what's going on inside. Whoa, okay. This is a serious operation. I know I've penetrated the awareness wall, but not to any extent where change seems imminent. The social media team at Squarespace has driven me crazy because obviously as the shifts change, you get different people manning the account. You start to get these tweets that indicate, oh yeah, almost a degree of sympathy, yeah, we've been hearing it all and we're passing it on. No, not giving an inch, but at least like a feeling of sympathy. Then obviously the shift change is suddenly you'll get all these replies from people who seem to have no idea, like there's been no hand over note. There'll be a whole bunch of tweets about this thing again. All the replies instantaneously will change and they'll all be like, oh thank you for suggesting this will pass it on to the team. Like it's someone who's never heard of the problem before. Like what have you got to do? What have you got to do? I would have thought there would have been a three-long whip by now saying just don't reply to these people because they're such a pain in the butt, but it's very inconsistent. I mean again, like this is weird position where Squarespace is sponsored episodes. We both use Squarespace. We genuinely still would both recommend it for lots of things. Yeah, I use it every day, Gray, every day, I use it. Yeah, it's just this is this frustrating limit and I've definitely heard from a bunch of other podcasters who are all really hoping that Squarespace Beyond 100 is a successful program. Well, why aren't they out there campaigning with me? I feel like I'm running there out into the field of battle and everyone's behind me going, good luck, Brady. Well, this is what I was going to say. Is there's a corporate wall that we're trying to penetrate and Brady is the vanguard of this battle. And I think anyone who's listening who's frustrated with not being able to get the back catalog of our show on the podcast or other shows or other podcasters who are on Squarespace, I think it's time to back the Brady on Squarespace Beyond 100 and to join the charge. Come on. If we can try to push this all at once, maybe we can get more than the standard answer that you always get from software companies, which is, oh, that's a great suggestion. We'll put it under consideration, which is the thing I heard from Squarespace six months ago, when I started raising this with them privately and eventually you know, and it went nowhere. And so now it's out in public. So yeah, join the Brady Squarespace Beyond 100 tweeted Squarespace help tweeted Squarespace. I'm like, John Snow running into the battle field and I'm waiting for you to come running behind me. Okay, I'm assuming that's a game of thrones metaphor. Yeah, but it's an old one. It's not like recent. So it's okay. That's a layout. Okay. Tell us about what's happening with the contingency though. We have a special offering to get around this problem for the chosen ones. Well, self-chosen ones. Yes. Well, well, again, we've tried to make the Hello Internet episodes available where possible. If you're listening on overcast, you won't even know that there's a problem because Marco's coded it in. You can listen to the show on YouTube. You can get the show on the website. But if you want an RSS feed that has the whole back catalog of the show, the actually easiest place to put it for us that wasn't going to mess up anything was on Patreon. So we have put them all up on Patreon. You're a bet to apologize. Okay, I think you do the people that apology now. Okay, so so so we're rolling out this plan. We've been Brady and I've been talking for literally months. What are we going to do? We decide Patreon makes sense. We're going to put the episodes up on Patreon. People can get the RSS feed. They can download all the old episodes and get access to goodbye internet. And like this is going to be great. There shouldn't be any problem. And there wasn't any problem except for one thing, which is that posting a podcast episode on Patreon triggers an email to go out, notifying patrons that there has been a new thing posted at their reward level. Makes perfect sense to do that. But Patreon's not expecting that someone's going to decide five years into a podcast that today is the day to upload their entire archive to a pre-existing audience of patrons. Like this is not the typical use case. And so if say you're uploading the archive, an email is going to go out saying, hey, there's a new episode. And there's no way, there's no way for me as the creator to say, please don't notify people about new episodes. That's entirely a preference on the receiver's end. And so what happened is that over the space of 24 hours, all of our patrons who we loved dearly got what was it in the end? 130 something emails? You made it rain, Gray. You made it rain. Well, I mean, look, also to be clear, I was at this time very busily working on a video that was going up. I was rushing to get it finished. And so I think the patrons should know that my poor, hardworking wife had to take time off from her other duties. And she spent all of this time uploading each one of those episodes individually and pain stakingly. And it took forever, but she got it done. So there was definite wife support in making the archive go up and happen in a remotely timely manner so that people could get the goodbye internet episode, not three weeks later if it had to be me in that time frame uploading those individual episodes. But it was, it was a little bit of a horror when we realized that there was no way to stop the emails. And I think there was, there was an additional complication, which is I'm very sure that Patreon also started to throttle our account for how much was being uploaded. Because each episode took just a little longer to upload than the previous episode. And so if someone went back and made like a graph of all of those emails, you'd see that the time between each episode keeps getting a little bit bigger and a little bit bigger. And I tested it on like the various computers. I even tested it on various internet connections. It was like, nope, it's totally Patreon. There, I think they're rate limiting us for just how much we're uploading in such a short period of time. And so I was beginning to have nightmares. I was like, it's going to take all week if this keeps going on. So anyway, it was just 24 hours of emails raining down upon the heads of our patrons. I'm very sorry for that. There was, there was no way around it. But that's, it's over now. We've all gotten through it. It was a traumatic experience for everyone, including my poor hard working wife, but it's done. So now if you are on the Patreon there, you'll get two emails, presumably each episode. You get an email for the new episode, which is everywhere in the usual places, but it is on Patreon. And you get an email for the goodbye internet. Yes, that's the way it's going to be going forward. Cool. Thank you very much to all the patrons who subscribed or upgraded. We really appreciate it. And yeah, this is one of the ways that you can get access to the old shows as well. Plus that little glimpse of after-show chat that we keep the record as running. Yeah. Just a little bit longer. You can hear all the naughty stuff that normally is on air. We're not that naughty. I was going to say, no, naughty, that makes it sound too exciting, Brady. No, listen, here's the thing, Brady. Don't oversell the show. Right, because the the whole point of it is, ooh, we're pooped afterwards and we always just talked for a little bit and that's, and that's just it. It's not a song and dance. It's not going to be a whole thing. It's just an extra little thanks for supporting the show. Yep. But let's not forget, Brady's campaign, all of our campaign, hashtag Squarespace Beyond 100. That's where it's out. That's going to be the game changer. The little man against the corporate giant.
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Category:Hello Internet Episode
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