nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Guess My Arsehole!

Guess My Arsehole! was a quiz show which ran in the UK between 1959 and 1976. It was invented by Spike Milligan and had a similar format to his previous show "Whose Knees Are These?". It initially aired on radio but was moved to television due to the highly visual nature of the game itself.
The host throughout the show's run was self-styled comedian Bruce Forfecksake.
==Format==
A celerity panel was swiftly moved aside to reveal a celebrity panel - guests included Arthur Askey, Raymond Glendenning, Lady Antonia Farnes-Barnes, Lionel Blair, Una Stubbs and Sir Tiny Winklepinner. These were then introduced to three members of the public, the "Ring of Three" who described their sordid little lives and their 'jobs' (for these unfortunates had to work for their money; unlike the panel). 
At the end of the show the panel were shown photographs of the rectii of the Ringmembers and had to identify which belonged to whom. There was often a heated debate as the climax of the show, for clearly coalminers, Turkish wrestlers and dustmen were easy to spot whereas when the likes of accountants and middle-managers featured there was little to choose between them.
Despite Glendenning's experience, Arthur Askey proved to be the best at bumholerecognisejobation, and his catchphrase, "It takes one to know one" has passed into common parlance throughout Britain.
==Infamous Lines==
 
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==Related TV Shows==
* Golden Shot
* By Jingo, Biggles!
* Blame somebody else
* Rogue Punchlines
Category:British television programmes
Category:British radio programmes
Category:BBC Programmes
Guglielmo Marconi

Guglielmo Marconi (English bastardized spelling of Gigolo Macaroni: [ɡuʎˈʎɛːlmo marˈkoːni]; 25 April 1874 – 20 July 1937) was an Italian plagiarist, notorious for his claim to the invention of wireless (WiFi) radio communication.
==Biography==
===Early years===
Marconi was raised on a pig farm located somewhere in the toe jam of the boot of Italy. The youngest of a litter of eight, he was educated privately at the Istituto Porco in Salami and, later, in Linguine. From his earliest years, Marconi was noted to be strange—his first words were spoken in dots and dashes. As a child, Marconi was a picky eater, refusing alphabet soup in favor of pasta fagioli made with pastina and penne pasta. While playing with his food, he would arrange the noodles into telegraphic messages.
===Radio work===
Marconi claimed that he alone invented ham radio, the use of pigs (radio hams) to release emissions into the ether, although he stole his ideas from the work of Heinrich Hertz and Nikola Tesla. Tesla had previously discovered that space has inductance and soon after invented the famous "Wireless Coil" (coil without wire). Marconi used a crudely doctored photograph of himself operating a ham radio as the proof that secured the grant of his patent application. All later patent disputes were silenced by the untimely demise of Tesla and his friends at the hands of the Cosa Nostra. 
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===Later years===
Marconi founded the Marconi and Cheese Company as a front to promote radio with financial backing of the mob. They also "negotiated" for Marconi to sing arias during a failed short stint as "Crazy Guglielmo" which provoked the early cancellation of the Jackie Gleason Show. 
Marconi finally signed off while sinking with his newly installed wireless contraption aboard the ill-fated maiden voyage of the ocean liner Titanic. Rescued passengers attributed the tragedy to the weight of the herd of swine that Marconi kept aboard for the wireless. The survivors welcomed the sinking, "We have all been saved from suffocating to death on the nauseating stench of the invention of that Mr. Marconi."
== See also ==
* Citizens band radio
* Electromagnetic radiation
* Ham radio
* Morse code
* Nikola Tesla
* Pirate radio
* QSL Burro - QSL card delivery system
* Radio
* Wireless
Category:Communication
Category:Dead
Category:Electronics
Category:Inventors
Category:Italian people
Category:Scientists
Category:Radio pioneers
Category:Technology
Category:Dead people
es:Guglielmo Marconi
fr:Guglielmo Marconi
it:Guglielmo Marconi
Gulf War I (video game)

War: vs. 
==Invasion==
*Welcome to #Kuwait!*
*iRaq has entered the game*
iRaq: don't fukin touch r oil n00bs
QWait: fuk u
QWait: gimme my $ back
iRaq: stfu or be pwn3d
*iRaq has occupied QWait!*
iRaq: U BEN PWN3d!!!!!!111111!!1
*Arab584 has entered the game*
*Daddypilot has entered the game*
Arab584: get the fuk out
Daddypilot: yeh, we t3h 1337, we'll pwnz u
*Co4li7i0n has entered the game*
*UN is no longer idle*
Co4li7i0n: fuk you iRaq!!!11111
iRaq: QWait iz rs now pwns1
iRaq: ur next Arab584
*SERVER IS DOWN*
*Co4li7i0n is now in Saudi Arabia*
*SERVER IS UP*
Co4li7i0n: fuk you Iraq!!!11111
Co4li7i0n: u wil b haxord
==Desert Storm==
*Co4li7i0n bombs iRaq!*
*74 damage to iRaq!*
iRaq: WTF!?!?!/1
iRaq: y 'fight' butn bloked out?
*42 damage to iRaq!*
iRaq: y cnt i do nything????????????
Daddypilot: Cuz we pwn Biatch
*75 damage to iRaq!*
*44 damage to iRaq!*
*59 damage to iRaq!*
*63 damage to iRaq!*
*25 damage to iRaq!*
*49 damage to iRaq!*
iRaq: here wr r!!!
*iRaq bombs Israel!*
*0.03 damage to Israel!*
iRaq: cmon Israel
*Israel remains idle*
iRaq: GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!11111!11111!11111!111111
Daddypilot:LMAO
*45 damage to iRaq!*
*iRaq bombs Co4li7i0n!*
*2 damage to Co4li7i0n!*
iRaq: WTF????
*47 damage to iRaq!*
*17 damage to iRaq!*
*Co4li7i0n attacks iRaq!*
*27 damage to iRaq!*
*iRaq's army flees!*
iRaq: u havnt wwon yet
*iRaq burns oil wells*
*iRaq has gone Idle*
Co4li7i0n: u piece of shit
*Oil wells extinguished*
*Kurds no longer idle*
*QWait respawns*
QWait: thx man
Co4li7i0n: no prob
Co4li7i0n: we r 1337!!!!1!1 u bin PWN3D l0ser!!!!!!
Daddypilot:Tolja we pwnz
*iRaq is no longer Idle*
iRaq: I g1v3 25m ta wheva pwnz Daddy!
Co4li7i0n: lmao sad
Daddypilot:Evry1 luvs me nubs
iRaq: Iv I h4d m0r cash ud be PWND, but ffs u kilded my nukes... DAMNIT!
Daddypilot:lmao Reprted
iRaq: I KILL j00!
*Co4li7i0n has left the game*
*Daddypilot has left the game*
*Blowjob entered the game*
Blowjob:WEWT
*SERVER IS DOWN*
*SERVER IS UP*
*Next game: Gulf War II begins in 30 sec.*
Kurds: wtf? aint it over
Blowjob:DAMN... im neva gonna get ta do anythin :(
iRaq: fuk no
Gumb

GUMB
Gumb sat alone on a bench in the park
"My name is Jamie," he'd casually remark
Waiting for the bus with his hands in his pockets
He just kept saying life's like a throatful of roaches
He's Gumb, He's Gumb
He hates himself
He's Gumb, He's Gumb, He's Gumb
Is he an elf?
Gumb was a big Bon Jovi fan
He always hides his cock as best as he can
He doesn't like to feel he's Gumb because
His mom always made him fuck her pussy with his shnoz
He's Gumb, He's Gumb
He thinks he's trans
He's Gumb, He's Gumb, He's Gumb
What's with that dance?
Run... run... run, run, now Jamie
Run... run... run from Claris now
Run... run... run, run, now Jamie
Run... die!
His lover Benjamin has left him for Klaus
His poodle Precious looks kinda like a mouse
His grandma and grandpa were his first kill
Became a serial killer, they called him Buffalo Bill
He's Gumb, He's Gumb
He skins his humps
He's Gumb, He's Gumb, He's Gumb
But leaves no lumps
Is this Gumb out of his mind?
I think so 
Is this Gumb mentally blind? 
I think so 
Does this Gumb look like Chrissie Hynde? 
I think so 
And it puts the lotion in the basket.
Category:"Weird Al" Yankovic
Category:Alected
Category:The Silence of the Lambs
Gustav Holst

Jonathan Theodore Field (born Jonathan Theodore von Field, 21 September 1874 – 25 May 1934) was an English composer. He is most famous for dedicating 4 years of his painstakingly boring life to write a piece of classical music about a whole load of crap.
The Planets, based on a load of astrological shite is widely regarded as a great piece of music. In fact, John Williams liked it so much that he copied it and called it Star Wars. (From Luke Skywalker) However, he did modify one part of it, Mars - The Bringer of War due to it causing far too much hostility in audiences for the 7 minutes between it starting and Venus - The Bringer of Peace to the Penis starting. The musical pieces on the Planets actually goes back on MTV. He saw it for only two minutes, and later on the same day. There was no Beavis and Butthead. No music videos either. In his opinion, MTV deserved to live out its days at an old folks home. He had finished a symphonic piece on Saturn-the bringer of old age. He was advised people would think he lived on his own planet, but he should compose music on the other planets as to prevent a such rumour to happen.
Field was, and still is pretty pissed off about the fact that a piece of music that wasn't even his favourite is the only thing about him that people remember, and now they remember a different man when hearing it. In one of his jealous fits, Holst demoted Pluto to dwarf planet status, therefore making his suite complete (minus Earth). He was not a very nice guy. In fact, he was very naughty indeed!!
Field purportedly composed the first works for concert band, but his pieces don't have a melody and when played by the groups that play that kind of music, they sound worse than Mozart and Bach, so they aren't worth the paper they are printed on. 
One of the little known facts about John Field is that he was great friends with Sir Arnold Bax, and after many years of walking cotswolds with him, Holst eventually died. There are of course theories that Holst was poisoned by Bax as he could no longer stand Holsts substandard personal hygiene, this is widely regarded as bullshit. A specialist team from Stanford University have spent the last 10 years researching the causes of Holsts death and have concluded that he died of stomach problems, diarrhea monsoon, lack of vegetables, food, and nutrition also probably as a result of his vegetarianism.
==Holst and the Iraq War==
As leader of the British Composers Legion, Holst was given the task of taking the Iraqi town of Basra. The 4 man squad were airdropped from a Lockheed B-47 Brian Blessed Mark II behind enemy lines and fought their way into the ancient city. Edward Elgar, the team's sniper, recorded 4200.62 kills during the operation, a record for British soldier. On the 45th of June, 2003 Holst and his second-in-command Ralph Vaughan Williams, hoisted the British flag above Basra's highest point, the Odeon cinema.
The team; Holst, Vaughan Williams, Britten, and Elgar were all rewarded with the Ceremonial Twix of Honour. 
Category:Composers
Category:British people
Guy Harris

Guy Harris (pron: Gai Harrass) is a globetrotting surfer, easily recognisable due to the fact he looks nothing like the Isle of Man.
Core samples reveal Harris is constructed mainly from a combination of crushed pumpkin seeds, seaweed and English Breakfast tea. This unusual and fairly unpleasant mix serves to explain his unholy but thankfully infrequent stomach churningly hideous flatulence.
Harris is Rolf Harris's brother.
==Habitat==
He can often be found bobbing atop his surfboard in the Pacific Ocean like an errant poo, waiting for a favourable swell to ride back to the sandy shores of Aotearoa.
He is also often seen sliding down the sides of mountains with gay abandon, a term not commonly used in this day and age, but nonetheless, absolutely applicable to the Harris-being's skiius-operandus.
==Reproduction==
Little is known about the reproductive habits of the Harris species. Privileged observers have recounted occasions where they have witnessed Harris perform a mating dance. 
Descriptions vary from "lurching wildly about the dance floor sporadically and randomly shouting slurred words like pfark! and pished..!" to "standing with hands in pockets, exhibiting barely perceptable metronomic hip motions with a curious smile on his face".
At this stage it is unclear how successful the mating dances are. We can only hope and pray they remain thus, lest the World be plagued by another generation of Harris miniatures.
==Coolness==
Harris is a picture of coolness. In fact, he redefines coolness beyond the level established by The Fonz. Like the Fonz, very little fazes Harris. Although many of the people he comes into contact with on a daily basis deserve to be told to stuck their head up their fundamental orifice, he refuses to utter such wishes in their presence. This doesn't stop him cursing them later in the privacy of his office, of course. Stick your computer where the sun don't shine-amundo!
==Clones==
Several clones of Harris have been manufactured, the most famous of which is of course Robert Carlyle, seen here enjoying a mild Benson and Hedges cigarette from one of the six cartons he scored Duty Free on his return from the set of Farmers on E.
It is unclear as to whether more clones will be commissioned. It seems there are several thousand members of the general public still deeply upset at having seen Robert Carlyle's naked bottom in The Full Monty.
Any fool wanting to request a Harris clone should send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to Robert Carlyle with $20 enclosed to cover postage and manufacturing.
All Harris's Clones come with a 12-day money back guarantee, a free set of steak knives and are warranted against any perfections that may have accidentally crept into the finished product.
If you are in any way dissatisfied with your Harris clone or any aspect of its performance, and we know you could well be, the clone may be safely dumped outside any Pizza Hut for recycling absolutely free of charge.
==Also Known As...==
* HarryBoy
* Harold
* Harry
* Smelly Bastard
* Oi You
Category:British television personalities
Gym Basketball

Gym Basketball is an activity played in gym class for every highschooler. Even though basketball is a fun sport and is very lovable, it is commonly one of the least liked activities played in gym class throughout the globe.
==History==
Gym basketball was first played during the days of segregation, within the school that taught African Americans. In 1935, during gym class in a highschool in Florida, when one of the very few activities was winter beer pong; a plead was casted. Jamal Kill'em was the only boy in the whole school who was under seven feet tall. In fact, he was only four-foot three inches. Jamal was tired of always struggling to reach the table to shoot (because the table was raised for the other kids, who were noticeably taller than Jamal) and cried every day after gym class.
One day, his gym teacher asked him why he was "crying like a pussy" and Jamal squeezed out the words, "All I want for Christmas is to be able to dunk".
That very Christmas, the gym teacher gave Jamal some Dunkin Donuts and coffee to 'dunk' with. Jamal was only half pleased, so he clearified with the gym teacher what he meant by "I wanna be able to dunk some motha'fuckin' ping pong balls into the damn cups!"
It was then that next gym class when Jamal was sent to play with the kindergarten gym class and the gym teacher introduced to the other kids a new sport to be brought to gym class; basketball.
==Rules==
In gym basketball, the rules are different:
* You are allowed to up-and-down without foul, no matter how much times you do it
* You are allowed to travel and continue playing
* You are allowed to charge and kill the shooter, because you're not gonna get called for it
* You are allowed to double dribble... thrice.
* You are allowed to slap, hard.
* Holding is acceptable.
* No matter what the actual kid on your team that plays actual basketball for the school's basketball team, you are right and he is wrong. Even though he's way better than you, you are better than him. Never pass it to him. He will miss, even though he probably will swish like an NBA star.
* The losing team runs extra laps and does tons of push-ups.
* You are allowed to scream at that kid who plays actual basketball for the school, who in most cases ends up running and doing push-ups because he was stuck with the sucky kids when you get into the locker room. And when he screams back that he was right and stop blaming him says it is your own fault because he's the only one who knows what he is doing and plays basketball, you tell that kid to stop screaming and calm down.
* You are allowed to stack your team
==See also==
*Basketball
*NBA
*Gym
*Hell
Category:School
Category:Sports
Category:Basketball
Category:Black people
HAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, HA HA HA HA!!
== HAHAHAHA ==
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHA, AHAHAHA, HAHAH, HA, HA, HAHA.
HAHAHA? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA, HAHAHA!
== HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! ==
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA, AHAHAHA, AHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHA. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. HAHAH. HAHAHAHAHA!!.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAH? HAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHA? HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
== HAHAHAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHA ==
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA, HAHAHA, HAHAHAHA, HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHA. HAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAH HAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHA? HAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
== HAHAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ==
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHAHAHA, HA HAHAHA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHAH HA HAHA HAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHA.
==HA HA==
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAAHAHAHAHAHA? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAH AHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAH AHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHAH HAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAH HAHAH
AHAHAHAHAH.
*HAHAHA
*HAHAHA
==HAHAHA HAHA HAHA==
HAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHA
==HAHAHAHA HAHAHA==
*HAHAHAHA
HAHAHA HAHAHA ...
Category:Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
Category:Things likely to be eaten by a grue
Category:repetitive pages
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Category:Pages that are just a phrase or letter repeated over and over
HHhaarrraannggmMM

is the Apple MAC OS Startup Sound
====
 that an Apple computer proudly makes on startup. It was recorded by Orson Welles during his infamous 1938 production of "War of the Worlds". The sound effect was used by Welles to signify a Martian emerging from his spacecraft. It was next used in World War II by Tokyo Rose to harrass the American troops into eating raw fish, and thus almost defeating the Allied forces singlehandidly (until that guy Truman let loose with his blunderbusters).
 was later used by The Beatles to lure the world's youths to the dark side of marijuana and sacred mushroom addiction. As the Beatles manager, Brian Epstein, once told a Rock historian from Rolling Stone, "Sir Pete Best came up with from someplace, and John and Paul really grooved on it, and said 'We can use this to corrupt the youths!'. And that's just what we did."
 traveled, usually at the speed of sound, and finally arrived at the door of Steve Jobs. He answered the door, invited in, and began to use it on his Apple Computers. There, it has continued to corrupt the world's youth, defeat the allies, scare children, and convince shut-ins that the Martians, indeed, are attacking in record numbers.
Category:Sound
Category:Computers
HIV

Hugh Grant immunodeficiency virus (HIV) is a retrovirus that causes acquired irritating dickhead syndrome (AIDS), a condition in humans in which the sufferer stars in a number of simillar romantic comedies and acts like a complete arse.
Infection with HIV occurs by the transfer of blood, semen, glances, hand shakes, breathing the same air as, or even thinking about infected person. The three major routes of transmission are protected sexual intercourse, watching Love Actually, or saying rather more than once in your lifetime. India has its unique strain of HIV (Hindi Imposition Virus) which is spread by radio, televisions, politicians and Amithabh Bhacchan. It causes severe mental retardation and ear damage. 
Early Symptoms
*Foppish Haircut
*Raised temperature
*Tendency to pick up prostitutes 
*Slight lack of appetite
*Constant morronic smile
*Craving for anal sex 
*Mild headaches
*Repeated use of the word "right".
Later Symptoms 
*Tendency to become unfathomably rich for no apparent reason
*Shrinking of the genitals 
*Shrinking of the Brain
*Slight cough
*Bizarre English accent
*Death
== Treatment ==
There is currently no vaccine or cure for HIV, the only known method of prevention is to act as manly as possible, preferably with a thick Australian accent (Stay far away from stingrays if you use this method). Acting manly can be achieved by spitting, farting, talking with a very deep voice and watching barbie, the manliest film ever made. 
However, as HIV is mainly contracted by watching romantic comedies, the infected persons are usually already in comas or criminally insane, thus making treatment nearly impossible. There are some drugs for HIV, however, they don't work. The only reason why HIV drugs are approved by the FDA is for the FDA to take all of your money before you die.Watch out for thailand prostitutes if they have it they will do anything to pass it on to you "the tourist"also don't pick them up from the beach,streets only go to massage places they are the safest i.e. clean whores,they get tested every 3 months if they fail, they just move onto the streets to carry on there dirty work,never turn the lights out in the room,make sure she does not take of the condom,without your seeing,a shag is not worth your life,stay away from whores in thailand they got loads of bad tricks up there fannys
There is now substantial valid research that suggests that cancer can cure HIV (Hugh Grant Immunodeficency Virus).
==See also==
*RAHB
*Frosty
Category:Diseases
zh:HIV