Confessions of a Bully

Confessions of a Bully is a meta essay posted to Tumblr in 2013. It gives an account of bullying that occurred in the OUAT fandom, particular in regards to shipwars (including Captain Swan vs. Swan Queen but also other ships) and within the SwanQueen ship subfandom. The essay also conveys and apology for the writer's former behavior, an explanation of why they decided to post this, and a warning to watch out for similar behavior in other ships and fandoms.
==Contents==
* apology
* clarification that they are not speaking for all SwanQueen fans, just a particular group of fans that coordinated bullying on tumblr
* explanation of how OP got involved in the bullying ring
* what specific actions they took mostly how they targeted their anon hate, how they coordinated when/which people to go after, the goals of send anon hate
* [side note for my Tumblr polling page -- these polls must have been held off tumblr, but they had importance and affected fandom activity -- in this case, coordinated bullying -- on Tumblr.
* How OP left tumblr in response to bullying by fellow members of the group
* How OP came back to Tumblr to post this essay and warn of the bullying in response to a specific fandom poll (Zimbio?)
==Response==
* Agreeing with the essay's analysis of anon hate, and sharing personal experience with it: thatshardlysubtext
* Sharing personal experiences with bullying (online and offline): betsypaige22
** betsypaige22 also calling this essay "brave", thanks 
* Another response sharing personal experiences with bullying (and offering to talk to other victims): https://mickeys-milkobitch.tumblr.com/post/62494744133/confessions-of-a-bully
Two people here: https://thestraggletag.tumblr.com/post/62550392929/confessions-of-a-bully
* 
* and a longer response by forgotmysafeword that I should summarize/make selected quotes from: (Thanking OP for the apology; defending the SQ fandom on the whole based on their positive experiences with in it; condemning the bullies and in particular pointing out that the bullying makes a worse experience for everyone and tarnishes the whole SQ shipping group because people will associate the bad behavior with SQ shippers in general)
** another thank you: feelingreallyfeeling
** another thank you: sunshine-buttercups
** another thank you, and sharing experience of realizing you have been the bully and are in the wrong: callafallon
* https://woodelf68.tumblr.com/post/62550388618/confessions-of-a-bully
** By audreyii-fic: a good old 2013-style essay interspersed with gifs as mic drops
** and a followup response by thestraggletag
** and a followup by woodelf68 emphasizing staying in touch with(/continuing to follow on tumblr) other fans because you like them, even as you drift to different fandoms.
* atippleofyourtears: comparing experience of OUAT fandom to other fandoms she's participated in online; suggesting the bullies seek therapy 
* jasperann: suspicions that there may have been a similar bullying ring in the Captain swan fandom
* katiecassidy: "I don’t really know why people are calling this brave tbh? Sure, it’s great that you’ve realised your faults and aren’t doing that anymore, but really that’s just common sense and human decency so it’s not really right to praise anyone for this.[...]"
** more to summarize here, and from hurricanejanes seconding the pushback
* arinekochan: no personal experience with the bullying, but thanks on behalf of friends who were bullied. And response on the 'was this brave' discussion
actually this link goes with the callafallon link above and should be archived
more "brave" posts (with Harry Potter references): thedooblydont and captainpikeachu
This reblog by nothingeverlost was actually the first reblog (maybe?) that spread it among the wider fandom, so probalby move up to the top:
https://nothingeverlost.tumblr.com/post/62354635648/i-dont-know-how-to-feel-about-the-myhereiam -- anon not sure how to feel, people who never bullied anyone should be praised
https://nothingeverlost.tumblr.com/post/62356828583/confessions-of-a-bully -- calling this "business as usual for fans who get pissed off", NEL says they haven't seen this before in their other fandoms going back a decade 
https://nothingeverlost.tumblr.com/post/62357206362/what-is-really-upsetting-me-is-that-it-was-so -- "What is really upsetting me is that it was so organized..."
https://nothingeverlost.tumblr.com/post/62390619670/i-just-the-thing-i-think-is-so-great-about-what -- this meta will help people "build defense mechanisms" against similar bullying in the future
===Responses years later===
2018:
==Followup==
* OP Followup Q&A: https://myhereiam.tumblr.com/post/80799364779/to-answer-some-of-the-questions
* Publishing and anon ask relating to popularity polls, clarifying OP's current (as of March 2014) boundaries/lack of involvement in the SQ fandom and future responses to similar attempts: https://myhereiam.tumblr.com/post/79881919087/dont-publish-swan-queen-is-winning-in-the
* Promising not to publish the email addresses involved: https://myhereiam.tumblr.com/post/80459688888/do-not-publish-my-email-address
* More followup on the Zimbio poll; responding to concerns about the confession representing hte whole fandom; strategizing and backstabbing for the Poll -- OP taking a stand against that: https://myhereiam.tumblr.com/post/80580053138/survivinglifesstruggles-zimbio-still-haunts-me
==References==
Category:2013 Meta
Category:Once Upon A Time
Category:Shipwars