On a Clear Day I Can See Mr. Ratburn Glaring (Arthur Lost Episode)

For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a teacher. It has always been my one true calling in life. The choice of becoming a teacher greatly angered my father a very stern man who loves to drink lemon tea in a glass. Oh yes, he doesn't give a damn. He never believed in any of my aspirations as at one point in time I really wanted to try my hand at becoming a singer, but when I sang some songs to my father he simply responded by scowling at me as he poured himself another glass of lemon tea. After leaving school, I was unsure on how and where to take my life when I received a visit by family friend; Don Corleone. He comforted me after I witnessed my washing machine dealer get iced by Cuneo Family gunmen. Don Corleone placed his hands upon my shoulder as he said, "save your anger. Save it boyio. One day when the time is right and the Sun is setting in Baltimore, you will take your place in the Sun." Seeing that I was quite clearly shaken up a bit by recent events, Don Corleone took me for a drink with him at his offices at the Genco Pura Olive Company. He listened to me as I then inquired about possibly joining the Corleone Family. Well, he slammed on the break pedals faster than a bullet as he said, "to be honest with you son; you really should think of becoming a painter." Confused, I was about to ask another question but that's when I learned that Don Corleone used the word painter as another word for teacher. I know that makes little to no sense, but just remember we're talking about Don Vito Corleone himself here people so please don't be rude as he has connections beyond of our wildest dreams.
Don Corleone rose from his chair and clasped both of my hands very aggressively I might add as he then proceeded to hand me a small ticket which read, "Go To Hartley Dale And Make Them Proud." I knew what he meant. He was suggesting that I go to Hartley Dale High School and apply for a teaching job. Well in actual fact, I didn't even need to apply it would seem because Don Corleone had phoned ahead and put in the arrangements for me to become a media studies teaching assistant under the tutelage of wheelchair bound Mr Pip enthusiast: Mr Old Worthy. I was very angry that I was only going to be a teaching assistant, and I was also angry with the way that Old Worthy treated me. As the name implies, Mr Old Worthy is incredibly old and was fast approaching the age of 207. How was he able to live for so long? Well, I'm not entirely sure but I do believe he heads to the butter warehouse on Little Avenue in Oakton City every Sunday afternoon. At the warehouse, the owners will happily allow for you to dive on into the butter and laugh hysterically as you rub it all over yourself. Butter appeared to have some de-aging effects as it able to keep Mr Old Worthy from becoming any older. He was also stupidly lucky like some kind of Sergio Morello Jr, as one day I saw him crossing the street without looking both ways as a truck crashed into him. Instead of being killed, Mr Old Worthy's wheelchair cushioned the effect of the crash and sent the driver flying to the other side of the bloody town. He ended up crashing into a local stationmaster's house just as the poor ole stationmaster was about to have his breakfast consisting of a fry up. Probably a blessing in disguise if we're being honest here people since the fry up was far too big to eat at that time in the morning. The stationmaster had received a visit from his Godmother; Mrs Butler. He doesn't wish to hurt ole Butler's feelings as he had become a second son to her ever since her real son left to work in a car factory up North.
Wait, what I am talking about? Quit distracting me from these damn notes about Mrs Butler and fry ups Vinnie! Now in any case, Mr Old Worthy was very mean as he always made me mark all of the books and he also forced me into making cups of tea not just for him but for the entire faculty as well. Now we're were using the social distancing teapot which is basically a regular teapot but with an extra long spout. I was not entirely competent when it came to using the social distance teapot as I ended up poking someone's eye out with the spout. It was incredibly long that spout! I also one day while carrying a tray full to the brim with cups of tea ended up tripping on a rather badly placed banana peel which sent me flying and for hot sweet Tetley Tea to get all over the incredibly beautiful floor. Though the floor already had piss stains on it, this proved to be the final straw as I was summoned to the headteacher's office or rather the deputy head I should say. The real head; Doctor Crabblesnitch was off sick with ass flu, or at least that is what he is telling the school anyhow as in reality, he has gone on holiday to Gran Canaria in order to escape the school as he has heard rumours from a smokey sauce that inspectors are coming to make sure everything is okay, or though some of them could be Jimmy Kimmel in disguise. So we need to please bare that in mind when dealing with them okay? In his absence, the deputy head; Mr Mazur had taken over and he didn't like me very much. No Siree, he did not like me very much indeed. In fact, he hated me and he would regularly threaten to have me sent to the Junkyard Dogs. I tried to get my beloved pet cocker spanial to be initiated into their salty herd, but they responded by throwing a car on top of the poor little pooch killing it instantly. That is why I developed something of a personal vendetta against those damn Junkyard Dogs.
Basically, Principal Mazur had a big ole go at me because recently, I had the front entrance sign had been stolen by some students, but for some odd reason ole Mazur blamed me since I had been caught smoking a cigarette by the sign many a time. The students who had stolen the sign were led by this little shit goes by the name of Fat Billy Nobair. Now even though Mazur blames me for losing the sign in reality it was actually all of Fat Billy Nobair's fault as he seems to have it out for as he and his gang cornered me and gave me a right good beat down. They then stole the sign, and I tried to chase them down but I couldn't get very far as I was wearing clown shoes (I had left my regular shoes at home thanks to my wife), I was of course blamed for the crime though I'm not really sure how I am at fault considering the fact that I was attacked and my attack at the hands of Nobair and his crew was actually witnessed by a nearby policeman who did nothing to help me. The cops were getting paid in buckets of fish to be a little gentler on Billy Nobair as he was very dumb and he didn't know any better. I think many of the cops were too scared to challenge Nobair's mother as she was a big brute of a woman and was a regular harasser of one Squidward Tentacles. She would often stick trash cans on top of Squidward's head much to his dismay. My story about Fat Billy Nobair attacking me as you might expect ended up falling on deaf ears, but just as I was about to say something else Mr Mazur interrupted me by announcing that he would be visiting Mr Old Worthy's classroom that afternoon in order to see if I was truly fit enough to continue being a teaching assistant. Mazur grabbed me by the neck with his immense strength. His eyes became a bright red colour as he said with a glare, "if this visit doesn't go right, you'll end up in the electric chair!" He then released me as he was called away from his office to attend the assembly. Also worth nothing, while walking out of his office, Mazur was smiling an incredibly smelly smile as his ears flopped up and down like a gone off sandwich in a bin on the street with all the green houses.
Leaving the office, I sat down on an old abandoned bench covered in cod liver as I quickly realised that I was so screwed. There was no possible way this afternoon could possibly be won in my favour. Mr Old Worthy and the rest of the staff all wanted me fired with Mr Mazur wanting me to be placed into the electric chair because he could not stand my attitude. I then rubbed my beard knowingly as I pondered out loud, but that's when a sneaky little scheme entered my noggin as I wondered aloud, "but what if I were to make it seem as though Mr Old Worthy was incapable of teaching." Doing something of that scale was going to be no small feet of course, but I was determined to make Mr Mazur see that I was a fucking saint in comparison to someone like the one that we call Old Worthy. I then came up with the plan. I was going to get Fat Billy Nobair to give me one his animations so that I could scare the devil out of ole Mazur. Since Mr Old Worthy was very old and senile, both the class and I could easily convince the evil electric chair loving dog that Old Worthy was personally responsible for playing the animation. Though incredibly fat and dangerous, Fat Billy Nobair had one talent. His talent it was said was that he could create expert bootleg animations on any of TV show. He also had the resources to get the voice actors from said shows to record new lines for his episodes. Nobair's mother Mrs Nobair was a personal friend of the Molinari Family had indeed gone to school with one of the Caporegimes. So, the Molinari's would threaten the voice actor of whichever show Nobair was making a parody of and the voice actor or actress would happily record some lines. See, the Nobair Family were sick bastards, but I didn't let that worry me too much as I then realised that it was lunch time. To my luck, Nobair had a lunchtime detention with me in the computer lab.
To my surprise, Nobair was quite willingly to make the animation which was going to be a Arthur one since Mr Old Worthy is a HUGE Arthur fan. I mean his fricking tie has a picture of Buster Baxter on it. Also, the wallpaper on his 1980's computer had Mr Ratburn's face on it. He was staring sinisterly at you whenever you walk by to ask Mr Old Worthy to sniff your test paper. In media studies, we often show animations to our students and I knew that Old Worthy had a pendent for showing his students Arthur clips or sometimes even full episodes depending on if the Sun was hitting the Lidels across the street. Just across the street look at Quasi there! Sorry about that, I then was unable to take the flash drive containing said animation because that was when Nobair brought up the subject of payment. I smiled at him. Even as a young man even before earning my crust, there was something so chilling in my smile that Nobair stepped back a bit before I brought out his payment which was a box full of bon bons. Twas an extra-large box too. Satisfied, Nobair chucked me the flash drive as he opened up the box only to learn to his dismay that he had been duped! There was no bon bons in the box. There was only Georgian bread. Georgian bread is really nasty as it had super thick crust which had worms inside of it, or at least that's what Michael Rat who sold me the bread told me that was in it anyway. I then exited the room very quickly, and I then for good measure kicked a skunk into the room. I locked the door tight and laughed wickedly as the skunk sprayed like a mad lad and ruined Nobair's fancy new football jersey. Serves ya right, ya wee dick! I then proceeded to wipe the tears of laughter that were now pouring down my eyes as I made my way upstairs to the media studies room. It was time to put the odds in my favour. I waved an uncaring hello to the cleaner who looked remarkably like Freddy Krueger as I entered the room and placed the flash drive onto Mr Old Worthy's desk.
When he learned that the flash drive contained an animation, he nodded his head approvingly. When he learned that the flash drive contained a super-secret episode of his favourite show of Arthur that had never been seen before by anyone, his demeanour suddenly changed as he snatched the flash drive off from the desk in a very aggressive manner I might add as he slammed it into the computer. The flash drive didn't sit too well with the system as the bloody computer started to have smoke come out from it which almost immediately aroused Mr Mazur's suspicion as he was sitting on the other side of the room taking notes with a red pen. Not a green one which is how you know he was serious. Something I should also mention is the fact that Mr Old Worthy always brought his dog Buster with him into work, and the dog looked like it was knocking on death's door as it had barely any fur and there was dust coming off from it. Mr Old Worthy refused to have it put down which was commendable I suppose. As you can tell by the name of his dog and his Buster themed tie, Old Worthy's favourite character is quite clearly Francine. Francine? Sorry about that, anyways, I sat myself down next to Mazur who glared at me as Old Worthy used a fire extinguisher to clear up the smoke fumes that were evocating the computer. The computer's screen finally switched to show a media format logo as some opening commercials played. Fat Billy Nobair was a big fan of commercials for some reason so there was two of those to start the show with.
The first commercial featured Maurice of the Tetley Tea Folk waking up from an incredibly hard night's sleep. He looked incredibly miserable and had a stubbly beard forming under his mighty Maurice chin. He also had DIGUSTINGLY large red bags forming under his eyes. It was clear to my watchful eyes that Maurice was so miserable because the other members of the Tetley Tea Folks Gaffer especially had been working Maurice extra hard to get his brand new invention a social distancing Tetley Tea Pot finished so that it could be showcased at the big market up in Granit Pass. Maurice headed downstairs, and found Gaffer pouring a cup of tea. Maurice took a sip from the tea, and with a tip of a hat both the stubble and bags were gone. Maurice made his way out of the house dancing, and he leaped over the fence but it all went ass shaped because Maurice ended up falling onto the pavement causing some serious damage to his beautiful custom made hat. Also, the incredibly sharp pencil that Maurice had sitting above his ear at all times ended up jamming the poor bugger in the nosey. A sad reminder for why we don't put pencils on our ears anymore. The second and final commercial thank otter featured the Red & Yellow M&M's sitting in a British council house. Yellow kept walking into he room wearing different costumes in order to see if he was truly British enough. He tried posing as a local gang member named Mohawk Dave, a businessman with a secret who says "what what," all the damn time, and lastly but most certainly not least he tried posing as a morris dancer entered the room flaying about. At first, Red seemed impressed but then he said, "wow epic fail!" Yellow looked very sad so very sad as he left the room only to come back and dance on the table while wearing the most stereotypical British outfit you'd ever see. His top hat, heart shaped sunglasses, and lotard all were coloured like the British flag. Piss! British M&M's are just the 4th of July M&M's with a different name, only difference is that on the British baggie you don't have Red smiling suggestively at you.
The commercial ended with a voiceover man saying, "limited edition M&M's! Red, white, and blue. Sorry Yellow." For some reason, after saying that last part, an incredibly loud and slow saxophone note could be heard going off in the background, and it sounded nasty. The noise was so loud as a matter of fact that it caused poor old Mazur's topee to fall off. Ha! I knew it! I did a small throat laugh or rather a nosey laugh which caused Mazur to glare at me. He adjusted his topee back on as he said, "you'll be suspended!" I regained my composure and remained impassive like some kind of Tom Hagen as the intro to Arthur finally began to play. I was beginning to become rather worried as those two commercials had caused me to completely forget that we were even watching an Arthur episode in the first place. The theme was really bad. First of all, while walking down the street as the theme so elegantly puts it, Arthur ended up tripping on a skateboard which sent him flying into oncoming traffic where he was ran over by a big up truck. Hey at least he was actually squashed like a bug unlike a certain Mr Old Worthy. That bastard! He was smiling like a mad man and even sang along with the lyrics paying no attention whatsoever to Arthur's horrific death. During the scene, when Brain and Muffy are shown at the swimming pool. An overly loud fart noise could be heard as the swimming pool had turned brown. Mr Ratburn who was shown swimming backwards in the pool had shat himself hinting that his crepe had been spiked with laxatives by Binky. Furthermore, when Arthur started talking the family photos. The locations he chose to take said photos began to get stranger and stranger. STRANGER! These included an old abandoned salt mine owned by Lord Nooth. He had special plans in place for that mine so I hear. He also took a photo inside an old abandoned alleyway, the one hill in Ironville which has stayed the same, and finally a park which had shit and broken bottles all over the place. Finally, when DW yells at Arthur he doesn't react as an incredibly sad sounding old man could be heard saying, "he needs a hearing aid doesn't he?"
Hmm. The episode's title then came on screen and it read, "On A Clear Day I Can See Mr Ratburn Glaring." The circle image showed Mr Ratburn sitting behind a desk with an incredibly sinister face. He is holding his hand out while Buster stands in front of the desk looking visibly terrified holding a test paper. Well, looks like Buster is in trouble. Mr Old Worthy hated Buster so he laughed when he saw the little bunny was about to get a bullocking from ole Ratburn. As stated earlier I you were paying attention, Mr Old Worthy's favourite Arthur character is Francine. Francine? The episode then finally started with Mr Ratburn sleeping at his desk with a cup of coffee sitting proudly beside him. He then proceeded to have the coffee accidentally spill all over his computer's keyboard. He was under a great deal of stress as all of the schools in the Elwood were about to receive visits from inspectors who were sure to have some very hard questions for Mr Ratburn to answer. He woke up from his slumber, and was dismayed to learn that the inspectors were coming to be supervising his first lesson of the day with Arthur and company. Preparing for the big arrival of the inspectors, Mr Ratburn headed into the teacher's lounge where he discovered that the cake he had marked for himself in the fridge was now missing with the name tag he had written for it now sitting on an empty paper plate. Ratburn glared at the person behind the crime; none other than Principal Haney himself. He didn't even seem to like the cake very much as it was causing the skin around his mouth to melt off like the cheesy slice of pizza ever known to mankind. Mr Ratburn pulled out a knife from his suit pocket as he asked, "oh Mr Haney are you having cake?" He then proceeded to jam the knife right into Haney's eye. Haney screamed in pain, and dropped the cake down onto the floor. Mr Ratburn was no murderer however so he opted not to kill Haney, and instead stole the cake right from under the old headmaster's shoe. If you'll pardon the expression.
At the classroom, Arthur and the others were taking part in a science lesson involving Bunsen burners, and the aim was to use said Bunsen burners to set fire to Wotsits. The burning of the Wotsits caused a foul odur to enter the air, as Mr Ratburn entered the room licking his lips apparently having quite enjoyed that cake that had been stolen from him by Haney. Haney had wanted to sue Ratburn for this insult, but the ole Haney knew this would be an unwise move because Ratburn would expose his biggest secret. That being he is scared of bananas. Oh yes that's right, ole Haney was a massive Fructophobe. A man who used to live on Haney's estate would regularly prank Haney by sticking a huge bundle of bananas to the handle of his front door. Well you can imagine, the mere sight of the damn bananas sitting there was enough to send Haney running for the hills like anyone would when their fear is shown to them. Ole Haney was no different. Mr Ratburn had no time to worry about his students because he noticed that he happened to have a guest sitting at the very far end of the classroom. It was a man dressed in a black suit and wearing sunglasses. It looked like an incredibly serious man and that is when I recognised him as being none other than Lord Walton who sat on the board of directors for the national art gallery of London. He tapped his pen impatiently on the desk as he asked, "are we going to learn something today?" Mr Ratburn smiled an incredibly cheesy smile at Lord Walton like some kind of Buzz Lightyear. In any case, Mr Ratburn rubbed the back of his head affectionately as he began writing a list of rules on the chalkboard regarding the correct way to use a Bunsen burner. Binky was not listening as he was busy spitting tennis balls through a straw at Francine who had an old birds house sitting on top of her head. Seeing his beloved Francine get tormented like this caused Mr Old Worthy to cry, but he actually cried of laughter because he does not know how to cry and I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I doubt he ever will.
Buster and Arthur were not wearing safety goggles, and when Buster dropped his big number two pencil on the floor. It was called big for a reason as it was the size of the Empire States Building. Also, Buster was blushing heavily like some kind of Leap who loves to yank teeth out of baby frogs, but that's another story. You've read the files though haven't you? Buster bent down which caused the Bunsen burner to topple over and catch Muffy's pigtails on fire. "Oh Buster! Look what you've done!" Muffy cried as she attempted to get the flames out as Binky threw a water balloon at her which thankfully allowed for the flames to disappear. She shot Arthur and Buster with an incredibly sinister glare heavily implying that she was going to get her poppa dearest; Mr Crosswire to order a hit on the pair. Arthur gulped heavily as he shuttered out a big ole fart. Meanwhile, Mr Ratburn turned to face Lord Walton who was shaking his head disapprovingly. "Oh my! Oh my! Young man! You really are disgraceful!" An old voice called out in the distance. Mr Ratburn, Lord Walton, and the rest of the class were intrigued by the sound to the point of exiting the classroom where they found the Brain being chastised outside the library by an incredibly sinister man goes by the name of Milfred Lott. Not wanting to see one of his students get picked on for something so minor, Mr Ratburn grabbed Lott by the neck and pushed him through the bathroom wall as he demanded to know where Lott got off on treating his students so shamefully. But that is when he learned to his shock and fear as well as the fear of Mr Haney who appeared now wearing a glass eye replacement for the eye that was stabbed out by Ratburn earlier. "Innocent? This young man here is a right bugger." According to Lott, he had caught Brain selling plans for a super machine that could block out the Sun in Elwood to an unknown source. A smokey sauce I sure do hope! Ha ha cracking! Brain confessed to the crime and admitted that he had long since grown tired of Summer vacation ever since he got food poisoning from a bad fudge pop that he got from an ice cream van being ran by the most patronising driver you will ever meet in all your days. He goes into painstaking detail about how many pounds it costs to get a Hoinky Special. Quick question; what the fuck is a Hoinky Special or do I even want to know? Hmm.
Milfred Lott and Lord Walton then announced their deal with Elwood was officially cancelled, you see they had agreed to make a brand deal with Elwood City School where they would supply the school's art students with free trips to the London art gallery in exchange for the school getting better grades than ever before. In recent months, Elwood City had the worse test results for any schools in the entire nation or that is what the papers claim to be the case anyhow. As the pair made their way toward the front entrance, Mr Ratburn stopped them. He was hanging a baseball bat in mid air as he asked, "do you want a cup of tea or a wee hot cross bun for the long journey back to Devonport. "Eh. A cup of tea'd be brill. In the canteen is it?" Mr Lott asked as he and Lord Walton were brought into the canteen in order to enjoy whatever delicacy the chefs were cooking up in the kitchen. Darth Vader was providing the catering arrangements for today's lunchtime service. He was very sadistic as he would keep all of the really good food locked up in a ridge dubbed The Good Food Fridge. It can only be accessed with the use of a very special key that you had to ask the Colonel to obtain. Hmm, I really hope that they weren't talking about Colonel Dodo. That bastard of a dodo still owes me 5 quid for that rack of lamb I once served him at Witherspoon's many moons ago. Long ago, and yet not so very long ago if you know what I mean. Anyways, Darth Vader was not a very good cook as much as he claims to be one, and as a matter of fact the only meal he knew how to prepare just so happened to be baked beans on toast. He did a really bad job at cooking the English delicacy as he ended up trying to put some cocktail sausages into the mix, but he had filled the sausages with purple juice. There was so much bloody juice contained within the contents of the sausage that as soon as Milfred bit into one he ended up getting disgusting purple juice squirting all over his beautiful face. Mr Ratburn could not ring himself to shout at Darth Vader as the pair were very close friends. Darth Vader had attended Ratburn's wedding back in the Fall and had even gone as far as to provide lightsabres for the goodie bags. Isn't that swell?
Milfred Lott wiped his ace with a piece o kitchen paper as he turned to ace Darth Vader with a glare. Darth Vader meanwhile looked dumbfounded as he turned to face the screen as he asked, "was it something I said?" After hearing that the two inspectors did not like his food, Darth Vader attempted to force choke Milfred, but as restrained in going any further by Mr Ratburn. The two inspectors were then escorted o the premises as Mr Ratburn stuck his head out o his classroom window in order to give both men a wave as they made their leave in an old rundown an built or three. Not caring very much or goodbyes, the pair's response was to simply give ole Ratburn the middle finger. Ratburn sighed in defeat as he sank to his knees and crawled into a ball. Arthur walked up to Mr Ratburn looking all concerned as he asked, "what is the matter Ratty baby?" "Get out." Mr Ratburn said coldly as tears began to swell up in his eyes. "I'm sorry what as that?" Arthur asked like some kind o Neddie only or Mr Ratburn to yell "get out!" He yelled it so loud that all of the windows on the bottom floor of the school shattered in two. Arthur and the others hurriedly exited the classroom, all the while Mr Ratburn silently wept as he decided to get his mind off things by having a drink with Darth Vader up at Old Joe's; his favourite bar in the city. Mr Ratburn left the school through the front entrance caring not a button or the darkness as both he and Darth Vader got inside o ole Ratburn's dusty ole red Cadillac car. The pair drove towards Old Joe's unaware that they were being watched by someone using a pair of binoculars. He as hiding behind an old oak tree that has a face which roars at you whenever you walk past, but what it really wants is a friend. A friend indeed Pooh. A friend indeed.
Mr Ratburn had no doubts on his mind that Haney would blame him or what happened with the inspectors, but he put it out o his mind and got ready to drink his sorrows away and say hello to a new life of unemployment and life on the dole when he felt someone tap his shoulder. Thinking it was his hubbie, Mr Ratburn turned around only to get greeted by his old community college roommate from the Summer of 72; Hank Scorpio himself. He was wearing a SICK looking purple pullover as he wrapped his arm around Mr Ratburn before saying, "son, I couldn't help but overhear your predicament involving some school inspectors who came to see how you and your school is run. You were going to try and forget all that by getting drunk on wimp rat juice, and eating chips doused in guacamole." As soon as Scorpio said that an uncaring waiter who may be in bed with the Colombian Cartel placed a guacamole hat on top of Ratburn's head. An impassive Ratburn tilted his head to the side allowing for guacamole to get all over the fucking floor much to Hank's delight as he could see just how badly the inspectors visit and their comments had affected Ratburn. The guacamole hat was a mandated food item added by El Macho who was effectively Old Joe's business partner. Yes, El Macho didn't say locked up or long as the AVL is heavily corrupt as they let him go free for a lack of evidence. They let ole Floyd Eagle San take all of the blame, but we all know that is not true don't we son? Poor old Floyd Eagle San! Send him some love or don't. I don't really care if you do or don't to be perfectly honest with you dear reader. Hank Scorpio requested a booth for himself, Mr Ratburn, and Darth Vader to sit at. Ratburn grinned from ear to ear as Hank Scorpio explained that Ratburn cannot simply let people walk all over him day in and say out. It was time for him to bite back like a rabid dog you really want to out down, but you just can't bring yourself to kill the little tike. Even though the ragged mutt had bitten the arm of a charity collector who used to babysit you back in the Summer to end all Summers. She babysat you all the whole her husband worked on the fields with a lawnmower. Bet you never thought about that when you were stealing her Starbursts did you?
Sorry, I... that got too real or a second. Time or a pause. Okay, I'm good now. So basically, using some blue prints which were doused in Genco Pura Olive Oil, Hank Scorpio explained that he would need to get revenge on his students who were quite obviously the ones that cost him his chances of impressing the inspectors. He had to impress the inspectors if you catch my drift? Oh yes, catch it like a bad case of pig flu. "I do not harm wish to harm my class, I only wish to teach them a lesson in good manners you see." Mr Ratburn explained. All of the sudden, Eddie Cat the man who found a way to make good manners cool and catchy came on screen as he asked, "but was Mr Ratburn having good manners by eating with his mouth open?" Eddie Cat wasn't lying, ole Ratty was eating pumpkin pie with his mouth wide open which made me feel very tempted to sue. I never liked it when people eat with their mouths open, and I am very outspoken on topics such as this. In any case, after that brief and sudden appearance from Eddie Cat, the scene transitioned to show Arthur and Buster preparing some chocolate brownies to sell to their customers at the small town grocers located at Elwood City Mall. You see; after the pair got caught helping Binky beat up a clown who was just trying to sell his bike, the pair were forced by Arthur's mother to get jobs because she read in a book on manners by Eddie Cat, that having a job can set someone on the right path and can make them evade a life full of catastrophe. Arthur and Buster were adding the finishing touches when they heard the doorbell ring, and the pair went to go and see who it was. They failed to realise that they had walked into a trap. It was Hank Scorpio who had pressed the doorbell, and using his jetpack he was able to fly away to the other side of the street just before Arthur went to answer it. In the meantime, Mr Ratburn snuck into the kitchen and added some peanuts and a healthy dose of laxatives into the brownie mixture. He had been lowered into the room by pull strings that were used to lower him through the ceiling panel. He tugged on the string, and was pulled back up by Hank Scorpio.
Returning to the kitchen, Arthur looked really confused as he turned to face Buster who simply stared at him all the while pulling an incredibly cheesy face. Buster was still blushing like a mad rabbit and he looked ill. Arthur then said, "time to sail this ship into the shore." He placed the brownie mixture onto a baking tray before throwing the tray into the oven. He didn't gently put the mixture into the oven, oh no he bloody slammed that thing in there. Wink. So as I was saying earlier, Arthur and Buster got themselves part time jobs at a grocers because the owner Markipiler was off sick or so he said. In reality, he had left the store to be condemned by a band of repo men who charge no money, for all they want is a big bowl of spaghetti. A blue bowl not a red bowl. They are not sick after all! The repo men never showed up, which meant that the store became property of the local Elwood City Mob who offered Arthur and Buster work there, but they were required to work for minimum wage sadly. At the store, Arthur and Buster were shown selling free brownie samples as it was National Free Brownie Day. Oh, now that makes sense! Mr Ratburn and Hank Scorpio entered the store, and were wearing overly long trench coats and hats so that Mr Ratburn's students wouldn't be able to recognise him. A man named Mr Harrington entered the shop. Got a bloody big chin he did! He walked right up to the front desk, and asked to sample one of the brownies. "Here you go Sir!" Buster proclaimed happily which caused Harrington to roll his eyes. Sorry Buster, you were a little too happy when saying that you really needed a bit of edge otherwise you might get sent to Edge City. Mr Harrington marvelled the brownie in his hand as he asked the boys, "do you two play any sports?" Mr Harrington is indeed obsessed with sports players, but he got no answer as he bit into the brownie. He chewed the brownie for a hot minute, but then he suddenly looked distressed as his face began to swell up like a balloon. To make matters worse, his gut started to violently rumble as he began shitting all over the bloody place. He shot up into the air, and came back down slamming his head face first on the concrete floor. Concrete flooring in a small town grocers? That's a bit dangerous isn't it?
As if Arthur and Buster's day couldn't get any worse at that very moment their number one customer; Mr Pumpkin walked in and proclaimed, "I'm very hungry!" But when he noticed what had happened to Mr Harrington, and when he learned that the pair had even bothered to consider if someone had an allergy before adding nuts to their brownies he looked at them with the most sinister glare that a pumpkin could possibly muster up as he yelled angrily, "that was terrible! I've coming back here!" He then proceeded to have the store closed down, and he laughed as the boys were yelled at by their parents who were beginning to lose their patience. The pair tried to explain that they had no added the nuts or the laxatives to the brownies, but all of their pleas sadly ended up falling on deaf ears. The brownies weren't all that bad, because despite what they did to Mr Harrington, the laxative tainted treats became highly popular with the senior citizens of Elwood, but that was another story. Mr Ratburn smiled at Hank Scorpio who ticked a tick on Arthur and Buster's names. They had written a list of Ratburn's students on a clipboard who were the most responsible for the inspectors visit going horribly awry. Suddenly, the Now A Word From Us Kids segment came on screen, and it featured some college kids taking part in an acting lesson with Mr Ron. They were talking about how Corleone Dobermans are kidnapped. "They get tied up." One of the students suggested. "Good suggestion, but let's just say I'm going to be tying you up soon." Mr Ron said, but at that moment, Eddie Cat came in and a purple glow surrounded him as he proclaimed, "oh that is not good manners, and I will not have that! That is not catchy!" He and Mr Ron had an epic fight, but we never were able to see the outcome of the fight because all of the sudden Binky's face came on screen. He looked deformed as his teeth were as sharp as knives, his fat was 1% fatter than normal, and his eyes oh good lord they were... slightly wonky. Well I never!
Next on Mr Ratburn and Hank Scorpio's list of students was Muffy, but they were going to try and make her become bankrupt. To do this, they headed to the Elwood City Stock Exchange, and began basically bad mouthing Mr Crosswire, and even went as far as to convince the members of the Exchange that Mr Crosswire was actually a major conman who was importing money and washing it down with cod liver which causes the profits to skyrocket like a balloon in Tahiti. One of the members of the Exchange sniffed his pooey fingers as he said, "well that Crosswire hasn't left any money to me." Yes, Mr Crosswire was required to loan huge cash sums to members of the Exchange so that they don't rat him or his friends out to the federal government. Now realising that Crosswire hasn't paid the toll in months so to speak, Mr Ratburn and Scorpio were able to convince the Stock Exchange to pass information about Crosswire's criminal actions to the government. He was no used cars salesman, it was all just a front. His car company was managed by his lieutenant Danny Vizier, while Crosswire controlled the most powerful crime syndicate in Elwood City. The reason he went undiscovered for so long was because he had connections with friends so high up at the Luxton Bus Company it'll make your nose bleed. One of the drivers at Luxton, Stan Butler came across a photo of Crosswire and Luxton's General Manager having tea consisting of spotted dick and ham. Mm, I sure do love a bit of spotted dick. Anyways, the Feds initially dismissed the rumours of Crosswire being a mob boss since he had sold many of them a car in the past. They eventually listened, and took Crosswire downtown because he had a playdate with destiny and red potatoes. Mr Crosswire was sent to Elwood State Penitentiary where he became a lapdog for the prison's top guard; Frank Belton who would regularly torment Crosswire by making him read him bedtime stories about people who are crushed to death by flying gumballs. Crosswire only gave into Belton's demands so that he could receive protection from his cellmate; Notso Fat who would regularly torment Belton for wearing diamond coated slippers when out on walks along the prison walls.
Also, since he was a very rich man, Mr Crosswire was sent to something of a first class kind of prison. His inmates with the exception of Notso who was only in the first class section he bribed the warden, all of Crosswire's inmates consisted of the rich and powerful including Mr Uppity, Rabe Maniels, and Gladstone Gander. Crosswire was tormented by them on a daily basis, with Gander once sticking sharp scissors into Crosswire's arms. He looked really happy as he struggled to pull all of them out. Instead of making the prisoners work out in the yard, Elwood State Penitentiary forces the prisoners to gorge on strawberry ice cream until they come so fat and lazy that they can't even go anyway unless they are carried via wheelbarrow. The Penitentiary was under the false belief that if the prisoners worked out there would no doubt come a point where they were strong enough to pry the prison cell bars open with their bare hands. It wouldn't exactly be very hard to escape the prison anyhow since they only deploy one guard who actually does anything of substance. Frank Belton is a heavily crooked cop who lets his prisoners live and left live. Meanwhile, the other security guard is a serious worker but he has a thing for people choking him. Specifically, a hunchback who is really dumb and has pigeons sitting on his shoulder at all times. The pigeons had wanted to go to Oxford University. They had passed all of the tests, even passed the entrance exam, but look at them now. Pathetic. Meanwhile, Muffy and her mother were sent to the poor house which beats people who play with the wooden duck. The workhouse was ran by Drill Sergeant Sam Roderick who would throw anyone who dares misbehave out of the window. He targeted Muffy, and tempted her into breaking the no eating rule by offering her a bon bon. She ate the biggest one in the box, and Roderick got right up in her grille as he asked while pulling an incredibly scary face, "HOW'S IT TASTE!?" "Pretty good." Muffy admitted, as she was then thrown out of the window by Roderick who yelled at the top of his lungs, "no eating in my classroom child!"
With Arthur and Buster now being forced to sweep the roads like Joe, Muffy in the workhouse, and Mr Crosswire behind bars, Mr Ratburn and Hank Scorpio only had two people left to deal with. Binky and Brain. They neglected to get revenge on Francine, because she reminded Ratburn a lot of Donkey Kong. Why are you reading this anyhow? Why aren't you break dancing and playing the Donkey Kong's? Getting revenge on Binky was a lot simpler than the rest, as he was pretty aggressive and this had gotten him in trouble many a time. He was actually happy when he heard about what had happened to Arthur, as he had grown to hate Arthur in the past few months ever since a camping trip went wrong. You see; Mr Ratburn had taken his class out to the woods so they could view the wildlife, but while there old Ratty ended up twisting his ankle. Get up and deal with it punk! Mr Ratburn cried in his tent while the others came up with an idea to call for help. Binkie was the first to offer up a suggestion. He suggested using a mirror to flash a single in morse code, a tactic taught to him by his father. His suggestion did not win Arthur over so he selected the Brain's idea to fix a police radio instead so that the class could simply send a radio signal for help. Binky looked very sad when Arthur decided to go with the Brain's idea instead of his. Even when Buster and Arthur came to him later to ask for some sardine crackers and the latest copy of Shrek 2 on Xbox, Binky still looked sad as he sat on a log which belonged to a pair of skunks who were part-time assassins or so the papers claimed. Don't believe everything you read ya hear? Ya hear? Ahem! Binky decided to celebrate Arthur and Buster's firing by heading to the local candy store, and performing some light shop lifting. He stole some red laces from a jar, but he caught in the act by the friendly owner Mr Kelso. Mr Kelso took the red laces in his hand as he asked, "what is the matter son? Why do you steal that is not okay." Tears swelled up in Binky's eyes as he then asked if he could be sent home with a warning and a glass of warm milk.
Mr Kelso was known by the kids of Elwood for being incredibly forgiving and something of a pushover. He would never yell at the people who robbed him, but he did once shoot a dog who tried to rob his jawbreakers but that was back in the Summer of 51. Times were tough back then. Just ask Rocking Ricky Foxx of Empire Central Radio. Mr Kelso knowing that his caring attitude did nothing to send people on the straight and narrow, decided to send Binky to work in the salt mines located on a hill just outside of Elwood City. Mr Kelso had actually wanted to send Binky away with just a warning, but he received a phone call that same morning from his former brother in arms; Hank Scorpio who suggested that Kelso send his enemies to work in the salt mines as this was the only thing that could always send people to a better life away from stealing red laces and Beenie McGum. While working in the salt mines, Binky finally experienced true fear as he was regularly tormented by his boss an evil man known only as The Coachman. The Coachman and his gorilla henchmen would force Binky to load bottle after bottle of Saxon's Salt into boxes which would then be shipped across to cities like Birkland and beyond. The Coachman also rode a carriage, and instead of using horses to carry it he would force Binky to do it. He whacked Binky with a tree branch as he yelled, "come on boyio you've had your fun now pay for it!" The Coachman was incredibly evil, but also undeniably smart as he kept up a good public image by donating money to several Corleone charities, was a private investor in the Genco Pura Olive Oil Company, and even ran a family restaurant in Chicago with his old friend Sheldon J Plankton. You see; it's all coming together like a beautiful synagogue. In an attempt to escape from the salt mines, Binky stole a mirror from The Coachman's private bathroom which has a doorman who holds a red towel and offers you a mint which is stuck to a pillow while really cheesy music plays in the background. Isn't the dream though?
Stealing the mirror, Binky climbed up onto a cliff at the highest point of the salt mines and attempted to flash a signal in morse code, but he got pulled off the cliff by one of The Coachman's gorilla henchmen. Turns out Binky's father was actually lying when he talked about flashing a signal in morse code, as he was actually trying to teach Binky a tactic he used to cheat on his GCSE biology exam. Ah the GCSE biology story, now that is one heck of a tall tale. Could it be one of Mater's tall tales? Binky was pulled back down to ground level, but he dived underneath the fancy throw rug and attempted to escape that way but he got stopped at the front entrance of the salt mine by The Coachman who clasped a riding crop tightly in both hands as he asked, "and where are you going in such a hurry Murray?" Tears swelled up in Binky's eyes as he said, "my name is not Murray." The Coachman never bothered to learn the names of his workers, and instead referred to them with allies such as Murray or Franklin. Hmm. Over time, Binky grew to become an efficient worker, and since he was not abided to work at the salt mines his entire life he left a changed bulldog. He joined a church and became a monk. He and the other monks had this little ritual where everyday at 12 pm sharp, they would eat Mars Bars and swing on the bells. Binky had finally learned a lesson. The Coachman for all of his flaws was certainly no sadist as his salt mines helped to reform many young youths like Binky. I still think however that The Coachman's actions were little heavy handed in how they were executed, but regardless of that fact Mr Ratburn and Hank Scorpio celebrated with a pint at Old Joe's. Scorpio had gotten Ratburn a job as superintendent at a local school up at Cypress Creek. Mr Ratburn and his husband were to leave for the school in three days time, but before moving away to a place where people don't know their names, Mr Ratburn had one last fish to fry. That being of course Francine. Francine? Oh my bad, I got ass flu I meant to say The Brain!
Word had reached Mr Ratburn's disgusting ear lobe that Brain was applying to attend West Coast Tec, and he was going to wow his interviewers by showing them his brand new invention a machine which can spread butter on toast for you. Hank turned to face Mr Ratburn with an incredibly smug face as he asked, "what do you say we really ruin that asshole's day?" On the morning of the unveiling, Mr Ratburn snuck into the assembly hall at Elwood School, and he screwed about with a bunch of the wires on the machine. Mr Ratburn ducked out of the room just as Brain and the visiting professors from West Coast showed up on the scene. They were a bunch of chimpanzees consisting of Professor Percy, Lord Reginald, and Doctor Marmalade. Doctor Marmalade had not wanted to attend this interview as he was currently gone on the run from Paddington Bear who thought that Marmalade was made from well... actual marmalade. Oh, Paddington you sly fox! Hang on a second, you're not even a fox. You son are a bear! Mr Ratburn hid behind a wall with Scorpio, and both men peered into the room as the Brain got ready to turn his machine on. "My dearest professors, prepare to be amazed. No longer will you destroy the toast when you try to spread it. From now on, it's smooth saying or perhaps I should say smooth spreading!" Brain joked, but his joke failed to land as all three of the chimp professors remained impassive like some kind of Tom Hagen. Brain cleared his throat very loudly I might add as he tapped a button on the side of the machine, but suddenly the machine grew legs and the arm which is used to spread the butter for you started charging at Lord Reginald with a machete. Meanwhile, Professor Percy and Lord Marmalade hid behind some trash cans while the evil buttering robot which was shaped like a can opener from Vice City chased Lord Reginald around the entire assembly hall. Don't know if you knew this or not, but can openers are a lot different in Vice City when compared to the rest of the world.
Brain was eventually able to switch the machine off, and he did this by pulling out the plug all the while smiling sinisterly like some kind of Crash Bandicoot. Brain attempted to justify what had happened, but he was tossed into a trash can by Lord Reginald's personal enforcer; Slab. The last we see of Brain in the episode is a shot of him reading a newspaper regarding the rise of loan sharks in Empire Bay while in the bathroom. This hints that his dreams of attending West Coast Tech are now permanently in shambles. Join the club Brain we've got jackets. Yes, I too applied for West Coast Tech back when I was planning to maybe become a world famous scientists, I sent several emails but they never got back to me. Uptight bastards! You missed out okay you missed out! With all of his students having learnt their lesson, Mr Ratburn headed to Cypress Creek where he began his new life as superintendent. Sadly, it all came crashing down on his first day of the job, he received a message on his intercom from his secretary informing him that his old students are outside the main gate waiting to speak to him. Mr Ratburn gulped heavily, as the door to his classroom burst open and all of the gang including Arthur, Binky, Buster, Francine, and Muffy came in holding baseball bats and kitchen knives. Mr Ratburn backed up against a wall as he pleaded, "no wait you lot don't understand! I can explain... I mean can't we just settle this over a cake?" He then proceeded to reveal a caterpillar cake sitting on a stand next to the wall he was pressed up against. "It might come as a surprise, but I'm actually not too keen on cake." Muffy said as she and the others charged towards Mr Ratburn who looked visibly terrified.
Hank Scorpio came into the classroom holding some coffee and lime beans as he cried, "oh my goodness! Arthur you really are a murderer!" Arthur turned to face Scorpio clearly intending to give him the same punishment as he did to Ratburn, but that's when Scorpio pulled his slick ginger hair back revealing him to have a zipper upon his forehead. Scorpio unzipped his forehead, and stripped down revealing himself to be Mr Ratburn. Mr Ratburn's right cheek looked swollen as he asked with a smirk, "oh Arthur Ratburn are you having cake?" Arthur turned to face his friends and the false Mr Ratburn only to discover that they were all now Mr Ratburn. They ganged around Arthur and had him huddling in a small corner of the room. They all glared down at Arthur as they asked, "are you having cake?" Arthur buried his face into his knees as an outside view of the classroom was shown as the song That's Life by Frank Sinatra could be heard playing in the background. The real Hank Scorpio was then shown sitting on a reclining chair right next to the lake that overlooks the school that had now become Mr Ratburn's brand new home turf. Scorpio reclined into the chair, and sipped on a glass of otter sauce as he said, "you did good Hank. You did good, but now I must deal with that pesky Mr Bont." He pressed a purple button on his chair which caused a helicopter to appear in the sky above him. Mr Bont was shown hanging from the helicopter on a wire, and there were some alligators that were jumping up at him. Driving the helicopter was none other than Brain who said, "the past must be paid for Bonty baby." The episode then ended with the credits, but they were SICK! They were in slow motion and the language was German. I can't speak German! Oh fuck shit farty butts! I nearly vomited as the screen came to show a post credit scene which featured Ronald McDonald in an elevator. He pressed an alarm button as he sang, "ring the alarm button, but don't mess with the doors!" If I'm ever trapped in an elevator with Ronald McDonald, you better believe I am going to be pressing that alarm button! Say I have given you a clue?
Ahem! Deputy Head Mr Mazur rose from his chair as he yelled, "that is it! I have seen quite enough! Mr Old Worthy it is quite clear you have lost the plot to show your students something as disgusting as that Arthur cartoon. I just got off the phone to White Hall, and they think it would be best for you to end up in the electric chair!" Yes, Mazur is obsessed with the electric chair, and he actually keeps one in a backroom in his office. He only gets to use this whenever Crabby is off sick or sometimes he'll do in secret. I relaxed into my chair, and chuckled as I was offered Old Worthy's job by Mazur. Just as I was about to shake his hand, the door swung open as Mrs Nobair came in accompanied by her son Fat Billy Nobair who had green stink fumes coming from his head. It smelt real bad like really bad. Like blue cheese and cinnamon swirls in an ashtray. Mrs Nobair had a clothes pin stuck to her nose in order to keep the stink from entering her nostrils. Mazur nearly threw up as he asked, "blooming heck Nobair! What have I told you about having those mud bathes up in Dukes, they make you stink like a sink!" Mrs Nobair and her son then explained everything to Mazur and Mr Old Worthy whose head ended up blowing off killing him instantly. Why had his head blown up? Well, I think he was so shocked by both that Arthur episode and my role in creating it that caused his death. Mr Mazur turned around to confront as his eyes bulged out like Luca Brasi as he yelled, "boyio I'm going to call the police, and have you put in the electric chair!" I had already left the classroom however through the old shining cave, and in my chair I had left behind a can of Hi Dad Soup. Oh, come now dear reader don't tell me you don't remember Hi Dad Soup! Curious, Mazur picked up the can and peered inside only to learn that I had written the words Vote Corbyn at the bottom of it. Now how could that be anything but a political statement?
There was a massive cave located at the back of the classroom which had named The Shining Caves. In a shining cave, you have to shine shoes for the teachers and their Dobermans. Shining Caves were common place in schools during the 1800's, but aren't really a thing anymore as a matter of fact Mr Old Worthy had the only remaining Shining Cave left in the whole entire universe. The Shining Cave was massive and went on for miles, and I ran through saving a pig from some worms who were carrying macs and AK's. I picked the pig up, and it smiled at me as it proclaimed, "you saved me!" I licked my lips as I shoved that pig inside my mouth, and ate it. Meanwhile, outside the Cave, Mr Mazur was about to walk on in when Fat Billy Nobair stopped him by saying, "it'll be dark in there! We'll need torches!" And so that's what they did, they grabbed a bunch of torches and began running into the Cave after me. At the very end of the cave, there is a fire exit and I made my way through said fire exit only to find myself now in the brand new parking lot which had been generously provided to my school by the good folks over at O'Hare Air. I darted through the parking lot, and I hid behind an old oak tree until I discovered that there was a restaurant across the street entitled Eat A Chilly. I headed inside, because according to the chalk board located outside the restaurant it only had one star and I highly doubt that any of my students or colleagues are going to dine there. Especially, since the place is right next door to a chippie and a laundrette which allegedly provides kickbacks to Kenny Petrovic. Once inside, I was ushered towards a table by the owner Big Daddy Hedgehog who used to be a major crime boss, but he lost his title when it was discovered that his acts of criminal intelligence were greatly exaggerated. From what I hear, the only crime Big Daddy Hedgehog had ever committed was robbing Beanie McGums from Mr Kelso's store. Big Daddy had always been Mr Kelso's favourite customer, so when Kelso learned that his number one cust was stealing from him well... this is what inspired him to start sending people to work in the salt mines. At one point in time, if you were caught stealing ole Kelso while he would be disappointed with you, he would share an ice cream with you, but not anymore.
I was quite hungry, but I was quite annoyed because for some odd reason even though there was plenty of tables available at the restaurant I had to share with an incredibly nervous man named Steven. He was incredibly jittery and he also couldn't keep still. He also revealed that he was wearing a wig, but he didn't care about the fact that my nose was the shape of a Turkish garden hose. Big Daddy Hedgehog placed a chilly dog right down on the plate in front of me, but before I could even dig some prison inmate stared at me and asked, "hey what's for tea tonight Puff Momma? Chilly?" I was about to leave, but I was held down by Big Daddy as Steven pulled his hair back revealing a small zipper. He unzipped the forehead and stripped down revealing it have been nothing more than an elaborate red herring. Matt Damon himself in the flesh stood above the make shift skin suit as he laughed, "oh you fool! You will never eat lunch in this town again!" It was then explained to me by Matt Damon that the real Steven had been killed a long time ago in anticipation for this very day. I attempted to make my leave, only for Big Daddy to pull a gun on me. I revealed myself to be carrying a handy dandy service revolver, and I aimed it at Matt Damon as I yelled, "back off aardvark boy! I wasn't born yesterday... or the day before that... or the day before that... or oh you get the point!" "Do you really have to leave? For shame!" Matt Damon proclaimed evilly as he took the revolver out from my hands, and took a big ole bite of it. It wasn't a real revolver. I only lied so I would look cool. It was actually a gelatine revolver which I got in a combo pack with gelatine TMNT sweets, they are bloody nasty and the Donatello one is caked in salt. Also, Michelangelo looked deformed as his left eye was bulging and his tongue was black like pepper dots. I guess this time, Michelangelo was the one getting screwed eh Donnie? You know when you think about it, Donnie was kind of a lapdog for the other turtles.
Sorry I forgot we weren't talking about ninja turtles, I was eventually led outside by Matt Damon and his posse. A bald man with a freakishly large nose stood by a car and opened up the passenger side for me. While getting into the car, I ended up getting the last laugh as I squeezed that damn bald headed bastard's nose so hard that big red lines appeared on it. The man rubbed his beaky nose in pain as he cried, "oh my I got a very sore nosey!" Once inside the car, I was forced to sit next to an old Chinese man. I pointed at the man and asked, "and you are?" "This is our friend Mr Chu." Matt Damon said as he then explained that I was being taken to Industrial Park as it was about high time that I earned my wings. It became clear to me that Mrs Nobair was a friend of Damon's, and she had explained my prank on Old Worthy to him. Realising that I was quite capable of doing terrible things, Damon planned on making me the very first in his brand new cyborg army. He had recently purchased industrial Park in a joint venture with Cybus Industries, and he planned on making me a man or rather a cyborg as they say in Lake Destiny Idaho. I couldn't break free because I was lazy, but I felt trapped like an egg that desperately wants to sing to you but ends up getting a fry pan to the face. I finally decided to get proactive about the situation, and I tried to break free only to have the bald guy from earlier point a golden revolver at my head as he threatened me with, "don't you care close your eyes!" All I could do now is sit there helplessly as I get driven to whatever fate awaits for me over at Industrial Park. That's all I could really do as rain began to violently pour onto the car until it was soaked entirely. Yeah, that's how rain works.
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