'Cock and Ball Torture' was a real SpongeBob episode...

If you've been on the internet recently, you may have seen a meme going around regarding an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants called 'Cock and Ball torture'. A good laugh to be sure for some basic ass life-form (You know, kids who play Fortnite, make TikToks begging for likes and followers like its some charity and jack off to Pokimane) browsing around the cesspool that is TikTok. For a grown ass-virgin like myself, I can understand the humour in it. As all intellectuals should. A kids show like SpongeBob having an absurd offensive title like that is bound to be a good laughing funtime to share with others. But what if I told you that this was NOT a joke, and that this episode actually existed? And I was there when I saw it 15 years ago.
It was 9 years ago. I was an intern at Nickelodeon in 2004-12, and I got to see the upcoming episodes of SpongeBob before they aired. One thing I learnt was that most of the title cards for the episodes were place-holders, meant to be inside jokes for the staff. It was pretty amusing. So when I saw the title for one of the episodes being 'Cock and Ball torture' the whole screening room abrupted into hysteric laughter, including myself.
When the titlescreen faded into the real episode, it wasn't anything too weird.
SpongeBob had woken up to an alarm clock and was talking to his pet snail Gary. He pulled off his aquamarine blanket, an unusually different color, and get into his work clothes.
Just as he was heading off to work, for just a couple of frames, it abruptly cut to what looked like a plastic tub filled with SpongeBob Legos. The image was quite frightenening because it looked like my legos from when I was a small boy.
It continued on, with SpongeBob frying up the fat patties and everyone being happy with his good work.
"Sponge me bobby boy!" Mr. Krabs had called the spongeman into his office.
Sponging bob squeaked and squicked as he walked along the krusty krab's krickety karpet of wood resting on the ancient sandy seabed to get to his boss's office. He stepped inside.
"Ye like your job?" Mr. Krabs had said it before SpongeBob could even ask why he was there.
The screening room was unusually darker than usual, and despite an innocent atmosphere the episode made each of us deeply uncomfortable.
We heard Mr. Krabs start to speak again, his krusty voice reverberating around the room. The line started... The screen zombed in on his ugly face, becoming hyper-realistic and craggly. "Well me boy... I REQUIRE-" Someone shut the episode off. None of us wanted to finish it. Somebody began crying at the back of the room.
We never touched it again. The file was gone deleto.
I don't know how it got on the air. When I found the TikTok of those two guys watching SpongeBob and seeing that god-forsaken title card, I immediately began to find any way possible to get in contact with them to get more info about the episode, what time they saw it, etc. It'd been a week since I'd sent the message to the original account the video was posted from. And the response I got was... unnerving.
The message read:
I'm not ready to face that mouldy crustacean again.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:SpongeBob
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:I WAS AN INTERN AT
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Memes
Category:Hyper-realistic