Bake, Rattle, and Roll

Bake, Rattle, and Roll (also known as BRR Fest) is a combination charity bake sale/benefit concert originally conceived by pitcher Henry Marshallow after . Held between seasons since its inception, the event is a cooperative effort between the Philly Pies and the Seattle Garages, and invites participation from both teams’ current and former players. The rules of the event dictate that anyone who has played as a Pie but not a Garage must perform live music, anyone who has played as a Garage but not a Pie must make pie, and any player who has played on both teams must only assist with the administration and logistics for the event.
===Origin===
The first BRR Fest was organized at the end of by the recently feedbacked Henry Marshallow. Marshallow had come to the realization that the Philly Pies and Seattle Garages were tied for the most non-election feedback events in the league with 10 swaps each, 4 of which were with each other. This realization as well as shock at seeing former teammates playing against each other in the Day X game between Charleston Shoe Thieves and the SHELLED ONE'S PODS reportedly prompted Marshmallow to contemplate “the sheer chaos of blaseball and how easily it separates friends. After the game, he pitched the idea of a bake sale or concert to the Pies as an excuse to reunite both Pies and Garages with former teammates. Farrell Seagull suggested combining the events into one and proposed the role-limiting rules as a way to turn the event into a piece performance art “exploring the nature of amateur ability as a form of expression.”
===The Pieformance===
The Pies perform at every Bake, Rattle, and Roll under the alias Two Chord Trick, as they only play covers of songs with two chords, such as “Jane Says” by Jane’s Addiction and Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA." The band uses this gimmick to allow them to cover easier-to-learn songs because, unlike the Garages, the Pies are not expected to perform music on a regular basis as part of their team duties. Even with this stipulation in place, Two Chord Trick’s music quality varies widely with the past music experience and instrument choices of its current members. For example, critics praise Jode Preston’s skill with an electric guitar as being “unimaginably breathtaking and impossible to imitate” as well as for her harmonies with fellow guitarist, Jaxon Buckley. However, they pan performances by Ruslan Greatness, who insists on playing wind instruments despite being trained in percussion. When asked for his reasoning behind this decision, Greatness responded “Ruslan no hit, only blow.” Technical difficulties also seem to plague Two Chord Trick’s performances. This is credited, again, to the varied experience of the band members as well as to Beasley Day’s tendency to chew on cords even after being told to stop. When a performance is paused due to technical issues, the band loops Yusef Puddle’s cover of Toby Fox’s “Dogsong” to entertain the audience until the issue is resolved. The cover is much beloved by fans, as Puddles created it by replacing the original soundfont with Day’s barking, pitched up and down as needed.
=====Current Band Lineup=====
*Ruslan Greatness - Wind instruments, Vocals
*Jaxon Buckley - Electric guitar
*Nicholas Mora - Pipe organ
*Bright Zimmerman - Harmonica
*Jode Preston - Electric guitar
*Yusef Puddles - Various MIDI Controllers
*Eduardo Woodman - Violin, Percussion (by hitting his own stomach with a mallet)
*Beasley Day - Vocals (howling), Air guitar
*Elvis Figueroa - Glasses filled to different levels with water, one for each gnome
=====Former band members=====
*Yeong-Ho Benitez - Recorder
===The Garage Sale===
The concessions stand for Bake, Rattle, and Roll, known colloquially as the Garage Sale, features “pies” that have been “baked” by various members of the Seattle Garages. According to the rules laid out in season nine, all food served at BRR Fest concessions must be “1. Arguably a pie” and “2. Edible.” Shadowed members of the team serve as general safety supervisors for the kitchen to prevent potential food hazards, such as Malik Destiny putting a plastic cutting board in the oven, again. They are led by shadowed Garages pitcher and resident baker Mike Townsend, who serves as the arbiter of the rules to ensure all dishes are up to par. Fellow pitcher Lenny Marijuana has remarked that ”[Townsend] treats the whole thing like he’s the judge of a Nletfix baking competition” and longtime captain Theodore Duende has theorized that “this is probably [Townsend’s] revenge for the songs, since he’s so much better at [baking] than the rest of us.” Despite Townsend’s guidance in the kitchen, there has been frequent debate among attendees about whether all of the served concessions should actually be considered pies by definition. Some dishes, such as Teddy’s Dump Truck Savory Pie are easily recognizable as pies. Others, such as Ollie’s Brownie Pie (which has a brownie crust with a brownie filling but is allegedly not just a large, circular brownie), stir up controversy. This has led to the development of a field of food structure discourse known as Pie Theory in an attempt to more solidly define what can and cannot be served at BRR Fest. Generally, discussion of Pie Theory raises more questions than it answers.
=====Featured Menu Items:=====
*Teddy’s Dump Truck Savory Pie
*Ollie’s Brownie Pie
*Sparks Beans’ Cinnamon Roll Coffee Cake Pie
*Cedric Spliff’s Lasagna
===Event Administration===
Players who have been members of both the Pies and Garages are restricted to administrative roles. Venue acquisition and stage preparations are handled by Marshallow. Promotional materials and merchandise for BBR Fest are designed by Seagull, who also handles event photography, having become more familiar with it as an art form due to former teammate Yeong-Ho Benitez. Lang Richardson is in charge of advertising, though Nolanestophia Patterson handles all actual ticket sales. Jaylen Hotdogfingers preps the kitchen and orders baking supplies prior to the event, and Summers Pony, due to their speed on roller skates, transports said supplies and deals with any emergencies that arise on the day of the event. Betsy Trombone handles much of the paperwork necessary to run BRR Fest, as they are forbidden from going anywhere near the stage or the kitchen, for fear that they will get frustrated with the terrible baking and music around them and attempt to participate by nearly any means. Her knife is also traditionally replaced with a letter opener, as she initially “[tried] to sign papers with it, and kept leaving her signature carved in desks underneath,” according to Marshallow.
===Wet Bandit Discount===
Current and former players for the Canada Moist Talkers and/or the Charleston Shoe Thieves can purchase discounted BRR tickets, “because they've had almost the same number of feedback swaps between them as [the Pies and Garages],” according to Patterson. The exception to this rule is Esme Ramsey. Due to her haunted modification, Ramsey is allowed free admission in case she is ever inhabited by an incinerated Pies or Garages player who wishes to participate in the festivities.