Reflux

My job has become much more bearable and I love it now that I've switched departments for the time being. I have a new problem, however. I'm now in a department where we all depend on each other heavily.
Before this switch, the department I was in was sales and we all basically worked independently. You either sank or swam and our manager encouraged us to be competitive with each other. Now that I'm not in a department that requires high sales and we have orders that need more TLC, this new department has to have everyone cooperating as a team. I love the department supervisor and the one veteran that's there. They've been a great support and I'm thankful they've helped me out. However, aside from having me be brand new to the department, we have a completely new person that just started the store be hired on immediately in this department. For reference, I've been with my store for almost a year.
The way our department works is we have one person a shift. They take orders and work on what they can, and if there's any orders that need to be done overnight or over the next few days, we ask the person coming in for the next shift to help us out. Easy, no problems, right? Well, except for the new person. Our supervisor is on his vacation for the next week and a half, so it's just three of us coming in. The veteran in the morning, me in the mid afternoon, and the new girl in the evening. Today was my second day working the department by myself. I handled it fairly well. I got backed up on orders, however, and I was going to end up leaving the new person with three orders. They're simple but time consuming and since my shift was over, I had to clock out. I was going to go over the orders with her and tell her exactly what needed to be done and if she had any questions, have her call my cell. Didn't happen. Any time I tried telling her what to do, she completely cut me off and changed the subject. She flat out told me she refused to do one of the orders because she "didn't know how to do it." Way to completely dismiss the project as I was SHOWING YOU HOW TO DO IT. As I was trying to set up the orders better for her (while off the clock now) because she wouldn't put in the leg work, she kept pushing her work onto me and it ended up with me staying two hours past my shift, unpaid, left with having to clean up her messes.
In the meantime I had called the veteran and the assistant manager (since this department is also his) and explained to them everything. They backed me up and I feel better about it because I don't feel as bad for feeling angry, but it's so frustrating. This was my second day by myself and I already know more in the department than she does. She's asking me for help on everything, and she's confusing me by telling me the wrong things on procedures.
Best part: I was extremely exasperated and about ready to cry when I left work. I flat out told her what the orders she needed to do were and jumped ship ASAP while trying to maintain composure. She goes to my friend, a cashier, shortly after I leave and starts complaining about how upset I was instead of working on the orders I left for her. Really? Like, you really don't know why I was so mad? You really don't understand? Selfish piece of shit.
Why are people so fucking stupid sometimes, damn
==June 17th, 2015==
If it's any consolation, I have BPD myself. I'm trying to wean myself off of the few medications prescribed to me because of some scares I had on medication that I was switched to earlier this year. I'm solely depending on therapy and every coping mechanism that's worked for me. It's extremely hard and I'm finding myself more and more needing to just be more consistent with meds again because my job is absolutely killing me and my living situation is driving me absolutely bat shit insane.
I really feel you when you say you feel like a failure because you didn't meet your standards. I do the same thing to myself. "Oh, you didn't sell something today? You're horrible!" "Oh, you watched 3 hours of Netflix instead of doing x? You lazy piece of shit." I don't actively try to think those things, they just come naturally. I'm really trying to get myself to change, but it's a long process that I've only been working on for 1 1/2 years.
Hang in there. I was just talking to my therapist on Monday, and she told me that there will be good and bad days and that it's worth hanging on. It's worth showing up for the day. I don't know how long you've been diagnosed or coping with BPD, but it's a long and hard healing process. You're making leaps and bounds with every victory you have. Even if you feel like you failed your semester at uni, you didn't because you held on and you passed your semester! Just from the little I read about you, you have a supportive partner that cares deeply for you. You have compassion for animals, which there are a lot of people that don't have that. This probably sounds like hokey bullshit because I've read the same thing and come to that conclusion before, but my heart hurts a little reading it because I've been there and I feel like I'm heading back a bit now myself. You sound like a great person who hit a snag. Try not to beat yourself up as hard if you can. :heart-full:
And fuck those retarded Tumblrites. Disorder labels don't define your worth as a person and it pisses me off they trot around the labels as an excuse to be a special snowflake.
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