The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead is an American romantic comedy television series created by a couple of fat slobs who are obsessed with the film Dawn of the Dead. Originating from a comic book that no one reads, the show was picked up by AMC after the colossal failure of their previous show, Breaking Bad. The show quickly received a large audience, but didn't catch on with those of smaller stature. 
==Origins==
One Thursday afternoon, at approximately 4:30 pm, Robert Kirkman was watching his favourite gardening programme of all time, Dawn of the Shed. Crying over his inability to plant even the most basic of crops, he had an epiphany to instead focus his energies on creating his own "original" zombie story, having previously enjoyed seeing a screenshot of Resident Evil in 1998. The next day, he used Microsoft Paint to quickly hash out The Walking Dead and placed it on the shelves of every comic book store across the country. After failing to sell a single copy of his horrendous graphic novel, Kirkman decided to make a TV show out it. Kirkman then traveled to AMC Network Headquarters in New York City and used his knowledge of fruity sounding alcoholic concoctions to deliver such delicacies as "Hand Shandies" and "Five Finger Cocktails" to the company executives. This was enough to convince them that Kirkman was not of sound mind, but they saw the potential for cashing in on his idea and immediately set about locking him in one of their "Milking Chambers".
==Setting==
Taking place in the State of Georgia, The Walking Dead follows a rag tag group of people as they struggle to cope with the aftermath of a Zombie Apocalypse. What sets the show apart is the special way in which the Zombie virus works, infecting people in such a way that the surviving groups always end up being Politically Correct in their makeup. For instance, the Atlanta outbreak of the virus ensured that the only survivors contained at least one African American, one Asian, one disabled person, one redneck, one blonde Caucasian female, one child and one member of Glee. Some viewers think this may be a central plot point, and that the outbreak of the virus was in fact perpetrated by a lone member of M.A (Multiculturists Anonymous).
==Characters==
===Rick Grimes===
A cop (police officer) who was shot and slipped into a coma and woke up in a zombie apocalypse. Throughout the series, he has constant mental breakdowns and starts crying like a bitch. He also enjoys eye fucking the camera to let the audience know that shit is about to go down. He missing.
===Lori Grimes===
Rick's useless dumb-bitch wife who fucked Rick's best friend while he was still in a coma. Aside from being a terrible wife, she was also a terrible mother who never looked after her own son. Carl, doing what his father would have wanted, but never had the balls to do on his own, shot her in the face after he and Maggie were compromised in the prison's boiler room, during a zombie attack, with no viable means of escape. A bitch to the end, her dying words to Carl were simply "I still don't know who's baby this is." After the attack, when Carl told him what happened, now furious as ever at Lori for saying such a thing, he stormed the boiler room in an attempt to cut his now-dead wife limb-from-limb. Killing two dozen zombies in his plight. Upon arriving, however, he discovered her body missing and, later, having taken the form of a ghost. Periodic hauntings would occur over the next half of the season, driving Rick to the point of insanity. He absolved himself of her in the penultimate episode by taking in the entire Woodbury community and devoting himself to "becoming a better father." She dead.
===Carl Grimes===
Rick's equally useless son who refuses to listen to people when they tell him to stay in the fucking house. His absolute obsession with canned pudding eventually leads to his death from food poisoning. He obviously dead.
===Shane Walsh===
Rick's best friend and the only useful person in the zombie apocalypse. After fucking his best friend's wife, he became an emotional bitch and started to developed feelings for Lori and her illegitimate son. This would later cause him to get stabbed by Rick and shot in the face by Carl. He dead. He dead again.
===Daryl Dixon===
A known “fan favorite”, started out likeable (though that’s not a high bar with this cast) but like the rest of the cast, devolved into a grunting edgelord a-hole pretending to be a white knight, because when the most likeable characters within your show are the stereotypical redneck jerks like Merle or the guy with a baseball bat that beats people to death, you KNOW it’s overrated garbage. 
===Merle Dixon===
Merle was the redneck, biker, white supremacist, methhead, generally disliked dickhead, and asshole brother of Daryl Dixon. Due to his constant consumption of Walter Whites blue meth, Merle developed an unhealthy necrophilia fetish. When the zombie apocalypse happened, Merle spent most of his time molesting female walkers and even underage female walkers because in a zombie apocalypse everything goes (not to mention Merle was a pedophile long before his blue meth abuse caused him to become a necrophiliac as well. )! A total asshole from the start, Rick being finally tired of his racist bullshit (and making T-Dog cry by saying "Black Lives Don't Matter") handcuffed him on the roof on an Atlanta skyscraper while screaming "Who's the N****r and boy now bitch!". Merle was left on the roof to fend for himself like an abandoned puppy. He somehow cut off his handcuffed hand and raped his way through hordes of walkers. (In doing this, he discovered that he was a bisexual necrophiliac.) He replaced the hand he lost with a knife in a lame attempt to look hip like Ash from the Evil Dead. Merle later accidentally stabbed himself in his crotch and died while attempting to masturbate upon seeing the walker of a teenage goth girl (who actually wasn't dead). Daryl eventually came across the walker of Merle, and upon disgust, he shot Merle in the head and then the dick (Daryl had a PTSD flashback from when Merle used to make him dress up as a high school girl and molest him. It caused temporary insanity which helped him kill his asshole walker brother.). He fortunately dead.
===Hershel Greene===
Sexiest character on The Walking Dead. I mean, look at that sexy beast. He sometimes uses his peg leg in combat. He dead.
===Andrea===
The most emotional bitch on the whole show. Wanted to blow herself up on the 1 season finale due to loss of family, but was guilted to stop by Dale. For the rest of her life she was the crabbiest bitch on the show just to prove that life sucks leading to her being left behind. Therefore she was eaten at the end of season 3, so she dead.
===Glenn ===
The token Asian. Somehow, he gets the hot farm girl. He dead.
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===T-Dog ===
The once token black until being replaced and killed by another guy who was also replaced and killed, T-Dog is a character who was supposed to die around episode 3 to 6 but was kept alive to avoid 'racism', T-Dog had no real role in season 2 but managed to gain popularity somehow. In season 3 he died and no-one really remembered him because they were too busy being sad about Lori's over-dramatic death. He obviously dead. 
 
===The Final Episode Script===
Daryl, Carol, Merrill, and Will Ferrell on receiving information about the possible source of the zombie outbreak being located in the basement of the Vatican, travels to the Vatican City. After spending hours fighting off hordes of zombie Cardinals, Bishops, and choir boys, they finally make their way into the Vaticans underground. While searching it's endless corridors filled with humankind's history that the Catholic Church has hidden for centuries, Daryl suddenly screams out JESUS CHRIST!! Carol replys "Daryl! Quiet!! You'll attract more walkers!! Daryl in turn replys, Carol, I'm serious!! It's actually Jesus Christ. It's chained to the wall. In absolute shock and horror, the four survivors look upon an ancient zombie wearing a crown of thorns on its head, a ancient Jewish robe and bearing holes through its withered wrists. Carol in absolute shock exclaims, He's been here the whole time! Locked away under the Vatican for over 2000 years!! He's the source of the walker outbreak and was truly the first walker. It was true! He did rise from the dead!! On finishing that last sentence, the enraged zombie of Jesus breaks loose from its shackles and attacks. Everyone died.
==See also==
*Zombies
*Zombie apocalypse
Category:American television series
Category:Zombies