7 Grand Dad.EXE

In my childhood I wanted The Super Mario Bros 3 game for my 12th birthday, instead my cheap mom got me this bootleg game because she was in a rush, for what I wasn't sure, on a totally unrelated note, she usually comes home with a friend of hers, they were all male for some reason. Anyways the game she got me was called "Mario 7: Grand Dad", I found this odd at first but when I put it in my console I was surprised to find that it was actually a knockoff of a game I once played at my friends house called "The Flintstones: Rescue of Dino and Hoppy" and I loved the Flintstones, they are way more funny than Seinfeld will ever be. So I forgave my mom for making her mistake, but first time I tried to tell her her door was locked and I heard weird noises coming from her room, she must have been having a lot of fun with her new friend (does anyone know what a prostitute is?).
Many years later when the SiIvagunner channel came into existence my childhood came back to me and made me laugh harder than a Hyena. His content and totally hilarious jokes including Flintstones, Snow Halation, The Nutshack, We are Number One, and others was almost enough to make me die (but of course that's not what this totally legit Creepypasta story is about, this is CREEPYpasta right? I spelled it T-R-O-L-L and then pasta. I failleded spilleng clesss.). When SiIva announced 7 Grand Dad Mania I felt like my dreams had come true hit me in the face and I quickly recovered to experience them, I couldn't wait to play this dank game. But tragedy struck when on his SubReddit he announced that he cancelled it, all of that masturbation for nothing, but I wasn't giving up. I had messaged SiIva and begged him to give me what he finished about 7 Grand Dad mania so then I could play it. What I didn't know was at the time I messaged him, his channel was taken over by a black one-eyed Dorito who hated hentai for some reason (something tells me this guy is single), but I was happy when I checked my email and he sent me what he claimed was what he had finished in my mail. I checked my actual mailbox and found a letter to me with a blank address with a black Dorito with a purple thing in it, without a doubt this was sent from him. Inside there was a disc with light blue Sharpie on it that said, "7 Grand Dad.EXE", there was also a note inside that said, "If you dare to play this game, it just might change your life in a way you might not have expected. Remember, kill all of anime and all hail President Haltman. Sincerely, The Voice Inside your Head. P.S. You might want to lock your closet before you play." Whatever every word he was talking about in that letter I didn't care, I just wanted to play the game already!!! I was so excited!!!
I put the game into my computer and waited for it to load. When it finally loaded I was greeted with a logo similar to the Sega intro, but instead it said, "SiIva", and then the title screen showed up. It looked just like the Tittle screen for 7 Grand Dad word for word, it even had the same music, this was weird because it didn't seem like 7 Grand Dad Mania at all, but then I was thinking "Maybe it would open up to a different tittle screen when I pressed start.", so I pressed the enter button on my computer and then it went black. However I could have sworn that I saw something flash for maybe a fifth of a second, it looked like the background color changed from blue to red, Fred Flintstone's head was missing and part of him was colored in what looked like ketchup because it was red, the "I" the company that supposingly made the game was replaced with "Illuminati" and the year was replaced with 777, and the thing that caught me the most was how Grand Dad looked. His eyes were black with red pupils and had a light blue liquid coming out of them, I them completely forgot about that after the character select screen, the background looked like a hellish background, some creepy slowed down music was playing in the background and the only characters I could play as in this were Smol Nozomi, Tito Dickman, and Mr. Rental. I didn't see Grad Dad as a playable character for some reason and Dickman and Rental were locked so obviously I had to play as the only character avalible which was Nozomi. When I selected her the music stopped and the game froze for a few seconds, it then cut to a black screen and I heard Joel's voice in the background saying, "Grand Dad!" but it had an echoey effect to it.
When the level started it showed the level name which was "Rock: Level One" which I was pretty sure it was supposed say "Bedrock: Level One" but something seemed fairly off. It looked just like the first level of Flintstones/7 Grand Dad and Nozomi in 8-Bit and more creepy music started playing the only difference in this was that there were no obstacles, no ground gaps, no enemies, nothing that damaged the player, nothing, it was just empty, and still no sign of Fred Flintstone, Mario, Grand Dad, NOBODY. It seemed like I would be fine, but then after a little while something showed up, but it didn't attack me, it was just in the background, dead enemies and dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures, ripped apart and spicy hot sauce spilled everywhere, and I saw a sign in a tree in red that said, "Did you really think that humans and dinosaurs were supposed to live in the same era? If that was we wouldn't be here buddy, that just defies the laws of physics!". After walking more the background looked normal again, but the music stopped, and suddenly ahead, did my eyes deceive me? It looked like Grand Dad was up ahead. I walked forward, but then I heard something in the background, like a seductive whisper, it sounded like Patrick Star saying, "Wee Woo. Wee Woo.", as I continued to slowly walk forward towards Grand Dad the noise started to get louder and quicker, and when I finally got to him the screen goes black again, and for a 4th of a second I saw a flash of Grand Dad's eyes change color, it turned into the black eyes with red pupils I saw from earlier and somehow suddenly remembered. and then after 5 seconds words pop up on the screen saying, "Hello, Are you, a real villain?" I could have sworn I heard that line from somewhere before, and then it cut to the next level title, it said, "Come on and Slam!" I knew right away that was a reference to Space Jam. The level looked like the basketball court from the bonus level in (you already know that Flintstones/7 Grand Dad are the same thing but one has minor edits at this point right? I'm just gonna put 7 Grand Dad to make it easier and I don't care what people will say!) 7 Grand Dad but it was bigger and longer and the background sky was replaced with hyper-realistic fire as if it was grilling a hot dog on a grill and someone put too much gasoline in, and there was no music. I was running forward, once more waiting for something to happen, and after 30 seconds of running, Grand Dad with his black and red eyes with blue liquid coming out was flying above me, the 7 second intro from this rip played, and at second 5.6 Joel's echoey voice saying, "Grand Dad!" played. Then Grand Dad started chasing me and super intense edgy music played to fit the mood, I was tring to run as fast as possible not knowing what he would do to me, but I didn't think it was going to be good, Grand Dad started catching up quickly and the music started getting faster as he was catching up. When he finally caught up and got me he suddenly disappeared and the music stopped, and Nozomi looked like she was crying, suddenly Grand Dad appeared in front of her, she stopped crying but now looked confused, I saw a flash of what looked to be Grand Dad about to insert his penis inside of her and the screen went black, half a second later with the screen still black a loud echoey noise played, it was the sound of Loud Nigra, which lead me to believe that something intimate and sexual was going on, and then more text saying, "Throw it at him not me! Ugh! Lets try something else.". It then cut back to the character select screen.
When it got back to the character select screen Nozomi was now locked and looked like she had gotten so much sexual pleasure after what just happened, Tito Dickman was now unlocked so I proceeded to select him to see what happened next, it froze for a while again and later went black and played the echoey "Grand Dad!" sound effect once more. The title of the level showed up again saying "If he shoots ya, it's gonna hurt." When the level started the background looked like the background from The Nutshack cartoon, which was the neighborhood that Tito lived in, clearly it was in fact the peanut house. Tito was also in 8-bit and more creepy music started playing, I started walking forward and waiting to see if anything happened, when I tried going the other direction I was still sliding forward like I was moon-walking like Michael Jackson on an endless slippery floor. After a little while static showed up for a second on my screen, but I continued walking forward because nothing else was happening, after a few more second more static shows and and the background changes a little, the sky was now a very dark grey and stormy, broken windows and damaged buildings, and red stuff was pouring everywhere almost as if the town became a lava factory or something. As I continued to walk forward still nothing much else happened, until suddenly Grand Dad still with his black and red eyes with blue liquid appeared right in front of me, static then showed up for 3.5 seconds and then more text showed up, this time it was in different sizes and fonts but still readable, it read "nEss Is noT a sKelEtoN wiTh a HooDie mAtPAtt!". Then a new thing started where it looked like Grand Dad was taunting me to catch him with more weird music playing when I tried to catch Grand Dad he just teleported to the other side and whenever I got to the other side to where he went he just teleports to where he was before, it was even more frustrating than that fight with Ness in Undertale (wait what was game saying?). When it looked like I finally got to him I slipped on the floor and was unable to get up and Grand Dad teleported to the other side of me, I guess even in video games it is too common to slip over Kool-Aid, especially when it's the red kind. I saw a flash of Grand Dad lifting Tito up and he looked like he was about to give him anal sex, the screen went black and Loud Nigra's echoey scream played again and after a few more seconds more text this time back to normal said, "So very Grand, yet so little Grandness, Who's been drawing dicks?", and it cut back to the character select screen.
When it got back to character select Tito was also locked and his face appeared to have sexual pleasure like Nozomi did, she was still of course locked as well, and the last character playable was unlocked, Mr. Rental. I was wondering to myself whether to continue playing, after all of the weird things that I had seen from this game, this of course did not look like 7 Grand Dad Mania at all, it wasn't how it looked in the trailer and didn't have the characters or storyline I expected SiIvagunner (or Mr. black triagonal sign) to make at all. Was it really worth it? Suddenly remembering what the note said earlier saying something about a closet, would something happen to me in real life if I continued playing? Overall curiosity got the best of me and I selected Mr. Rental, it froze for a while again and once more Joel's echoey "Grand Dad!" clips starts playing as the screen went black.
The level title showed up and just said "(Insert High Quality Joke here)", then some spooky music played (but without laugh at begining) and the background looked like the final boss area for 7 Grand Dad but with a Sonic Mania texture and a dark background like in Megaman, Mr. Rental was also 8-Bit. This time nothing was seeming out of the ordinary, nothing creepy (other than the music), nothing red, but still no obstacles or enemies, but at this point I pretty much expected it to change in some way, as I walked forward nothing much happened other than me walking down a few stairs, it was so boring, they should have called the level "Boring Stair Stage". After a little while I stumbled upon an extremely long set of stairs, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STAIRS?!?!? Suddenly a 3/4 part static showed up and changed crap, there was fruit punch everywhere and the music slowed down a little, after a little while longer I was still walking (this time no more stairs, Yay!) just waiting for Grand Dad to come and end this level already, and just when I said it he did. He teleported right in front of Mr. Rental and it quickly cut to what I think was 7 seconds of static, after the static it showed a hyper-realistic version of Grand Dad with his black eyes with red pupils and blue liquid coming out of them, more static shows up for a brief second and suddenly text in red appears in front of his face as the voice of Joel saying, "Grand Dad!" was being played, but this time it was slowed down and in a deeper pitch, the red words in front of his face read, "I AM GRAND", a few seconds later the words changed into "UH OH, YOU FRICCIN MORON..." and before I had time to react after reading it I heard a, "Bitch you-" and then The Bean showed up blasting his loud music and spinning around, but it didn't end there. It then cut to static and after the static it showed a breif clip from the music video "MM2.Wood", then more static and a quick clip from Veggie Tales of Bob saying, "Why does Larry have a shoe on his head?", then more static and a quick clip of The Cat in The Hat Saying "Eggs!", more static and a Squidward saying, "Tortellini?!?", More static and a quick clip of the begining of the music video of One Week by Barenaked Ladies, More static and Dr. Robotnik saying "Beans.", More static and Game Theory saying "I sent a copy of Undertale to The Pope", MORE static and a clip of Lord Vortech saying, "Dimensions.", and MORE static cutting back to a brief second of The Bean, finally it cuts back to the Grand Dad picture saying, "I AM GRAND" and after that a game over that looked just like the Russian Felix The Cat bootleg Continue? screen but Felix was replaced with Grand Dad in bed with Nozomi, Tito Dickman, and Mr. Rental and the music was reversed slowed down and in G Major. What also appeared was the "да" and "нет" option asking me whether I wanted to continue, nothing happened when I hit да (I pressed it multiple times and waited, nothing happened) so I just hit нет, which made the game go black, stopped the music and closed the game.
After all of that I just SNAPPED!!! I WAS YELLING BEYOND THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!!!!!! WHAT DID ANY OF THAT HAVE TO DO WITH 7 GRAND DAD MANIA?!? WHY DID GRAND DAD HAVE BLACK EYES WITH RED PUPILS AND BLUE LIQUID COMING OUT OF THEM?!? WHAT THE HELL WERE ALL THOSE REFERENCES?!? WHY WAS THERE SO MUCH RED TOMATO JUICE AND SNOW?!? WHY DOES A TRIANGLE THINK HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS TO?!? AND WHAT WAS ALL OF THAT CRAP ABOUT MY CLOSET?!?!?!?!?!?!? Suddenly I felt like my last question got answered, I heard a noise coming from my closet, I even saw it moving, I was thinking about calling the police, but I felt it was a priority to check what was in there first, many things were going through my mind like, "Maybe something just fell, but what if something else was in there? I something going to kill me? Is this the person who sent the letter? Am I just going crazy? How did Santana come up with "Smooth"?", with all of these thoughts in my head I wasn't sure what to think or what was going to happen I slowly walked closer, and closer, getting more nervous, and then I slowly opened my closet door, and then, I saw a figure, it was blue and red, he looked like he came back from the dead, he had black eyes with red pupils and red stuff coming out of them, I knew right away that it was...Sonic.EXE?
"YOU THERE!" Sonic.EXE yelled at me, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?". "W-w-what do you mean?" I asked him. "I'm just sitting at "The Poison Grape Horror Bar", getting wasted with BRVR BEN and Mario.EXE, when all of a sudden Creepy Black comes to tell me that some kid was playing a game called "7 Grand Dad.EXE" on their computer, and I'm pretty sure you're the little runt who RUINED MY DAY!!!". "Wait a minute, that's the game I was playing with all of the red sauce in it?" I asked, he responded, "For Christ sake kid do you even know what "blood" is?!? Also yes.". "But I asked for what SiIvagunner for what he finished about 7 Grand Dad Mania, why would he give me THAT piece of garbage?". "Kid look, that wasn't SiIvagunner who sent you that game, and that game is a bootleg of my game, although there have been many other knockoffs, which resulted in making me look ridiculous, THIS ONE I HATE THE MOST, BECAUSE IT WAS MADE BY THIS BOZO!!!", Sonic.EXE picked up a man with his super strength, it was a Chinese man in a suit. "Who is that?" I asked. "He is a worker at the biggest bootleg corporation in China, and I'm mad because this has been ruining my plans for a very long time!". "What?" I said very confused, not understanding what he said. He responded "Bootlegs in general are what is slowly killing the world and this country, weebs are harming those that just think it's dumb or weird porn, but the real killers are bootlegs. Bootleg toys, bootleg movies, bootleg books, bootleg cartoons, bootleg food, FUCKING BOOTLEG GAMES!!! If the product isn't enough to kill you then the money that was spent to purchase it goes directly to the capital of China, where they use it to improve their government and weapons to possibly destroy us and put more jobs into their country, we are losing jobs and money in this country, I've got a dead girlfriend and a cult to feed and take care of. It doesn't even have to be a Chinese bootleg, it could be from Russia, Japan, Bulgaria, even some here in the USA from people that just want the money to smoke some crack, either way it's more money out of our pockets and in someone else's who wants to ruin someones life, and your mom was a whore. So now, I'M GOING TO DESTROY EVERY SINGLE PERSON BOOTLEG AND ELECTRONIC DEVICE IN THIS HOUSE TO EXACT MY REVENGE!!!". Sonic.EXE was heading towards us and gets ready to destroy things like The Tasmanian Devil when suddenly, "BOOM!" a gunshot and a bullet straight to the head and killed Sonic.EXE along with the weird Chinese guy, and I noticed outside of my house, who shot that bullet.
It was Mr. Rental, the real one, not the Mr. Own guy pretending to be him. "Mr. Rental?" I cried out in excitement, "I thought you were dead!". "Nope, I'm still alive, I'm a bit wounded, but alive." Mr. Rental said to me, he continued to speak and said, "And I didn't come alone.". Behind him was some high quality figments the he told me got transcended into reality, Chaze The Cat, Tito Dickman, Sness (Saness? Sansness? It was a fusion of Sans and Ness), Donkey Kong, Loud Nigra, and Grand Dad (the real one, not the one with the eyes and liquid I mentioned earlier multiple times). I knew of course it was the real one, but I was still scared because of what Sonic.EXE said earlier. "Why are you scared kid?" Mr. Rental said to me, I answered, "What Sonic.EXE said earlier, about bootlegs and China...", "Don't listen to him kid, he's just a fucking idiot, people are getting smarter about what's real and what's not, what to buy and where to buy it, and the money doesn't go directly to the country it was made in (unless of course you live there), even if so, lets just say a man with majestic hair and a small loan of a million dollars is already cracking down on that, as well as what's going on in each country. So the only thing you need to worry about is what decisions you make, being smarter about what's true and what's false, and whether to fight or fly.". What Mr. Rental said to me was very touching and relieved me of all of my nerves, he continued talking to me and said, "But that's not why we are here, we're here because we need your help.", "My help? Why me?" I said confused. "My friends and I have been looking for a way to get back to our world, you see our friend Nozomi is in danger by a man who calls himself "The Voice Inside your Head", Soulja Boy, Charles Barkley, Chip Tha Ripper, Snoop Dogg, and many others are in danger as well. We have been traveling around your world looking for an old computer, that way The Voice wouldn't notice us, we have been caught a few times, some of us were almost killed, fortunately no one was lost, but finally we have found the perfect computer, yours. So listen, here is what we need you to do...", he whispered in my ear, first telling me not to say what he told me in this story. I did what he instructed me to do, I got most of his friends back to his world but before I put him back I asked him something, "Wait, Mr. Rental! There's something I have been meaning to ask you, something I've been meaning to ask you.", "Sure kid, just make it quick.", I had thought this question out carefully, making sure I was certain to ask this, and then the words just came out of my mouth, and I simply asked him, "Is this lore?".
== Read this part only if you are The Voice or if you want lore ruined for you for some reason ==
Well, Mr. Voice, if you have fond this story than there is another thing that I am going to adress to you right now, if you think that you can run the SiIvagunner's channel forever, then you have another thing coming. I am going to set up my own team of memes to take you down, I'm not even going to tell you how I'm going to do it, I'll just leave you in suspense. But I will tell you that they will bring your downfall, they will take down every last robot you throw at them, and they will expose you to the world like Keemstar. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! I'm high!!! WAt
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