Mountain Dew Lost Flavor

I used to be a high level intern at PepsiCo from 2003-2021. My position involved marketing and taste testing. My experience working at the company has been normal, and it was always exciting getting to try new Mountain Dew flavors not available to the public. I will never forget the first time I tested the popular Baja Blast flavor. Anyways, things internally at PepsiCo took a weird turn in 2020. The CEO died suddenly of an unknown cause. His death was followed by a boardroom coup that resulted in the complete takeover of the company by his son, a man named Michael Edwards. 
Things have gotten worse since then. 
Employees are fired for bogus reasons. There's no union or anything like that, so employees don't even know what's going on except when they get fired. Michael would then replace these fired employees with people that would completely suck up to him, as well as take away their benefits. This is all done to increase profits for the company. In fact, Michael himself has admitted that not only is he extremely greedy, he also cares about increasing his own power. I'm not joking, he would legit say shit like this during our board meetings. And since most of his new hires are ass kissers, no one says a word. The only people who have a little bit of power are people from the old days, such as myself. I'm important enough to not be on his bad side. However, I'm also too important to get rid of, so the best way to keep me happy is to keep the company profitable. It's a never-ending cycle of greed.
In October 2020, Michael Edwards reveals a new Mountain Dew flavor to us during a meeting. "We're gonna go with the new flavor, but we're gonna also add a bunch of cocaine to it. Apparently, it really boosts sales. The new flavor is called "New Car Smell". We'll also introduce it at college towns where people party all night and then roll their drunk asses to class the next morning.", says Michael. I'm not making this up. The board is like "wait, what?" He's like "Yeah, do it." This actually happens. The company continues to make stupid business decisions.
The next week later, Michael and his team brought the "New Car Smell" flavor for me and others to try. This was the first time I was actually nervous to try a new Dew flavor. I didn't even know what to think when I first smelled the can. It smelled just like a new car, but not in a good way. It smelled powerful and aggressive. The taste was just as weird. It tasted like drinking alcohol while simultaneously smoking Crack, all mixed with chocolate. It was nasty, and I couldn't even finish the can. I remember the car ride home after testing it. It was like all the enjoyment had been sucked out of everything. Everything from that point on just felt... weird. These "New Car Smell" Mountain Dew cans are never released to the public, and everyone at the company just goes back to their regular jobs. 
A few days after the test, I managed to sneak a sample of the New Car Smell flavor to my house. So I started to experiment and see just with is in this flavor. What I found made my stomach churn. This soda had over 5mg of caffeine in it, which is more than a regular Mountain Dew. Regular cans have about 3mg of the stuff. It was definitely an accident, and it shows in the final product. The taste of the soda was metallic and horrible. It tasted just like what I imagined drinking a dirty car hose would taste like. I threw up after drinking it.
I started to find even worse things about the new flavor, such as that it contains harmful ingredients. The new formula contains Sodium Benzoate, a preservative most commonly used in the food and drink industry that has been known to cause cancer in humans. It also explodes when ignited. I didn't know this until after I had already finished the can. I went in to work the next morning and discovered that I had been fired with no reason given. I didn't even get the chance to tell the board members about it or confront Michael. They just saw me come in, and I was escorted out the door.
Ever since that day, strange things have been happening to me. I'm frequently stalked by men in suits and hear a voice in my head telling me how great Pepsi is every time I have a drink. It's actually made me become slightly anorexic and I'm drinking less and less to cope with the stress. My parents have also received threats via text from an unknown number, stating that "they know everything." I've gotten so many weird calls and messages on my phone that I'm reluctant to give out my number out anymore. I'm currently receiving therapy for my unusual condition. Even the doctors don't know how to treat it. The only advice they can give is that I should avoid PepsiCo drinks.
I can't escape this company. 
It's everywhere. 
It's in my brain, controlling me. 
It's everywhere I go.
This story is just one of millions of horrifying tales of what happens when you work at PepsiCo. If you're thinking of joining this company, I hope this story dissuades you. You have been warned.
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