List of spoken word segments for Undone - The Sweater Song

The spoken word segment on the Blue Album song "Undone - The Sweater Song" is one of the most celebrated, characteristic sections of any Weezer song. The band has filled this section in live with a great variety of material, and this page intends to list notable examples.
==Album release==
This version features spoken dialogue by Karl Koch, Matt Sharp, and Mykel Allan.
Matt: Hey bra', how we doin', man?
Karl: Alright.
Matt: It's been awhile, man. Life's so rad! This band's my favorite, man. Don'tcha love 'em?
Karl: Yeah.
Matt: Aw, man, do you want a beer?
Karl: Alright.
Matt: Aw, man. Wow, bra', this is the best, man. I'm so glad we're all back together and stuff. This is great, man.
Karl: Yeah.
Matt: Hey, do you know about the party after the show?
Karl: Yeah.
Matt: Aw, man, it's gonna be the best. I'm so stoked! Take it easy, bra'.
Mykel: Hey, what's up?
Karl: Not much.
Mykel: Um... did you hear about the party?
Karl: Yeah.
Mykel: I think I'm going to go, but, um... my friends don't really wanna go. Could I get a ride?
==Rivers Cuomo demo, 1991==
Intro
[LEFT CHANNEL]:
You know, it's amazing how the mind works
One moment jackin' itself
Another night, quite willing to commit suicide
Who's the fool? Who holds the truth?
I don't know what's up with the people in the money
What's my name? What's your name?
Who are we? Who am I?
Who is it? What is it?
We're all floating around wondering what's goin' down, not knowing up from down
Right from left or right from wrong
[RIGHT CHANNEL]:
Feel funny about how life seems to pack it's-
Bags and say "Hey baby, things are looking mighty fine" I'm-
Feeling alright, I'm feeling like the sign of the times are right
Man I don't know about you but I'm-
Thinking I'm pretty great, thinking pretty fine, that's right
I know just where I belong; I'm sitting here man
I'ma singing this song and it goes:
 
Interlude
[LEFT CHANNEL]:
Oh jeez I'm packin' my bags
I'm thinkin' that maybe everything I believed in
Maybe is just Oscar Meyer
Weiner you know it's B-O-L-O-G-N-A
[RIGHT CHANNEL]:
Now things are looking alright
I'm feeling pretty fine
The sun is shining
On my shoulders, I'm feeling pretty happy, pretty high and mighty
For the small boy 
==The Kitchen Tape demo, 1992==
Rivers Cuomo quotes the lyric "whore in my bed" from the song "Hey" by the Pixies. The line "I want to be a singer like Black Francis" is likely an allusion to the Pixies song "I've Been Tired", in which Francis sings "I want to be a singer like Lou Reed."
Intro
[RIVERS]:
Oh God-darn-it! 
Walkin' down the street see a pretty girl walkin' up to me
She says "Dude, you ain't got what I'm looking for"
And though I'm a whore
A whore in my bed
A whore in my bed
I wanna be a singer like Black Francis
I said I like Black Francis! 
He's a real man, got her walkin' down the street
He's gonna say:
[MATT]:
I got the big duty ???
???
???
Two bins
Big stuff
Big players
Money, money, money, money
Money
This song’s sugar, brown sugar
The Apricot jam
The Apricot jazz monkey-
[PAT]:
I regret what I get
so upset
when I see them on the set
In a mag
When they brag
For this slag 
With their faces that I bag
Put away for today
All these bitches
I hate talk shows so much
I want to kill them! 
Interlude
[RIVERS]:
Jason sweet Jason
Where are you when I need you?
With the goodies you got
*gasp*
You’ve always got the remedy
The cough drops
The eggplant parmesan
[JASON]:
Rivers, Oh Rivers..
I'm waiting
I'm hiding
???
Reading 
Writing
???
[PAT]:
Oprah Winfrey gained
200 pounds
I read it in the line at Ralphs
And it was sad
=="The Real Demo", November 1992==
There is chat from the band underneath the samples, however they are mostly unintelligible besides multiple mentions of the band Wax and Jason Cropper saying “I told you not to touch me!”.
Intro:
[LEFT CHANNEL]:
"She loves you...yeah..yeah yeah"
"Your eyesights been affected. Hm, acne. Sore throats huh? Oh my poor friends."
"Your atmosphere has recently been polluted by a foul smelling substance"
"Enough of this nonsense! You are spies, scientists do not para-"
[RIGHT CHANNEL]:
"I was just sure I'd grow up and marry my mom"
"Half way through their latest hit song"
"Hey boy, you still using that greasy kid stuff on your hair?"
"Bless us, my precious, a tasty morsel it would make us"
"Is it, my precious?"
"Give them a light, and they'll follow it anywhere."
"Help, Superman! Supe, help! Help!"
Interlude:
[LEFT CHANNEL]:
"Where does your devil ??? Grasshopper"
"Watch this"
"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and"
"No moon"
[RIGHT CHANNEL]:
"This is what you call a failure face"
"You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor. Take her away!"
Laugh
==June 20, 1997 Y100 Sonic Sessions==
This performance for the Y-100 "Sonic Session" in Philadelphia features a spoken word poem by actor/poet Timothy "Speed" Levitch, with whom Matt Sharp had been acquainted.
And each of you is a reminder to the Earth
Of what it's capable of
You are all the reasons
Jumping
Rational
Lackadaisical
Irrational
You are ceaseless sieges on the city of joy
The reason Agamemnon went to Troy [RIVERS]: "That's right brother"
The fire of God, abase yourself
At the knees of your self
Intelligence is not a discipline
It is an experience
Allow it to explode
Destroy buildings
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings
Did I lose that sweater?
Or did it lose me?
And language was invented so people couldn't lie
Don't just say "I love you"
Let your love perspire and fly
It is the most profound gymnastics
An incredible calisthenics
Let me pole vault you
Let me cartwheel into your beauty in an ideal love affair
We never had to say "I love you"
Stutter, burp, 
By the way, I love you
Sweaters that are loneliness
Which is a delusion
Sweaters that emasculate
Creating confusion
A giant repression
Melting into supression
Sweaters of lycra
Sweaters of spandex
We don't need them
Sweaters of knitware
Creating the reason that Caesar went to Gaul
We don't need the sweater
Walk through the sweater
The sweater that murders, that marauds
The sweaters that take over our lives
And remind us that we don't like the way that we walk
Sweaters!
Walk through the sweater apocalypse and find your own warmth
==February 12, 2004 - California State University, Fullerton, CA==
During a Matt Sharp performance in 2004, Sharp publicly reunited with Rivers Cuomo, and the two performed a set of four songs together. On their impromptu performance of Undone, Cuomo insisted that Sharp perform an "improv rap" over the verse. Sharp did a rendition of "Picture Me Rollin' by 2pac.
[MATT:]
Picture me rollin' in my 500 Benz
I got no love for you n****s
I got no need to be friends
They got me under surveillance
‘Least that’s what somebody be tellin’
But shit, there’s dope bein’ sold
But I ain’t the one sellin’
Don’t wanna be another number
Got a keep a gang of weed from goin’ under 
The federales wanna see me dead
They puttin’ prices on my head
So I keep two rottweilers by my bed
I feed 'em lead
I don’t know what to say
That’s the only rap song I know[…]
==See also==
*"Undone - The Sweater Song"
*"The Greatest Man that Ever Lived," a 2008 single off The Red Album which also features a spoken word section
Category:Songs on Weezer (The Blue Album)
Category:Live
Category:Weezer singles
Category:Lists
Category:Songs with spoken word sections
Category:Featured list