The Very Secret Diaries

A set of funny first-person diary entries by characters in The Fellowship of the Ring and the Two Towers movies, as written by the fan Cassandra Claire on The original pervy hobbit fancier's Journal. It contains jokes about both slash and het.
The story was mentioned in the Fanfiction Syllabus of the 2015 Vulture.com essay collection It’s a Fanmade World: From One Direction to Soderbergh as one of "Ten classics that cover the history, breadth, and depth of the form".
==Other "Very Secret Diaries"==
Humorous "secret diaries" are not unique to modern media fandom. Maurice Baring's Lost Diaries (Houghton Mifflin, 1913, available for free on the Internet Archive) is a collection of satirical fictional diaries originally published in British newspapers. Baring's witty column included diaries by Sherlock Holmes, Hamlet, Iseult of Brittany, Emperor Tiberius, Christopher Columbus and Oedipus among many others. 
The style of Claire's Secret Diaries is very similar to Bridget Jones's Diary and The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole. There also seems to have been a Saruman's Diary circulating in Tolkien fandom around 1995.1995 Saruman's Diary mentioned on the Wikipedia VSD page The Diaries received significant media coverage outside fandom, unusual at this date, and even had a Wikipedia article from 2005 to 2011.
Claire wrote:
More than one fan took Claire up on her permission to emulate, though with a different end goals; see The Very Secret Diaries of Aja. A fan writer called Rosalind began The Very Secret Diaries of the Clan of the Cave Bear at ecfans.com's fanfiction section in October 2004, inviting others to create their own additions to the hysteria. Rosalind, The Very Secret Diaries of the Clan of the Cave Bear at ecfans.com.
==Introduction to the First Story==
==Famous Catch Phrases from VSD==
* still the prettiest
* Sam will kill him if he tries anything
* Cannot cope. Off to Mordor
* strawberry bath bubbles (or strawberry elf soap)
* blow the horn of Gondor 
* go me! 
* still not king 
* pervy Hobbit-fanciers
* Indistinguishable Backup Hobbit
* Gandalf's pointy hat trick 
* Elf women just the right height to keep my ears warm
==The Diaries==
===Fellowship of the Ring===
* Aragorn, Son of Arathorn
* Legolas, Son of Weenus ("*dedicated to Emily for her fearless defense of Elijah*");The Very Secret Diary of Legolas, Son of Weenus also at The original pervy hobbit fancier (where it has 31 pages of comments) She knew that Legolas's father was not Weenus, it was a joke: "I know I said it would be Merry's Diary, but it's Pippin's. Oh, and the next person who tells me Legolas' father's name is not Weenus gets an arrow in the eye. :D I know perfectly well it isn't. I just don't care. :D" -- The Very Secret Diary of Peregrin Took
* Boromir of Gondor
* Frodo Baggins
* Samwise Gamgee ("This one's for Rave, on account of her fab Legolas/Aragorn parody.") The Very Secret Diary of Samwise Gamgee
* Gandalf the Grey ("Apologies to Rave for filching her "weed" idea. Bah hah hah. :D") The Very Secret Diary of Gandalf the Grey
* Peregrin Took
* Saruman the White ("Dedicated to whoever bought me a paid LJ account. I thank you, oh silent benefactor. That was awfully nice.") The Very Secret Diary of Saruman the White
* Gimli, Son of Gloin
* Meriadoc Brandybuck ("Dedicated to Ashley, my very own Ashwise Gamgee. Everyone should have one.") The Very Secret Diary of Meriadoc Brandybuck
* Ringwraith No. 5 ("This one is dedicated to Jeff. Being as these diaries were originally concieved of as a way to get him to stop reading my Live Journal, I'd say it's all down to him, really. Go Jeff. :D I couldn't have done it without you.") The Very Secret Diary of Ringwraith No. 5
* Gollum ("Dedicated to Emily, the much put-upon. Damn, hell looks a lot like high school.") The Very Secret Diary of Gollum
* Arwen Undomiel
* Elrond
* Sauron ("Dedicated to John, the sweetest loveliest guy who was ever hacked by a complete loser. And Alex, because he’s been sick. I mean ill. Oh, whatever.") The Very Secret Diary of Sauron
===The Two Towers===
* Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, Part 2
* Theoden ("Co-written with madlori, who is, as always, in inspiration to me in all things.") The Very Secret Diary of Theoden (December 25, 2002) ("Co-written with lorax523, who is, as always, in inspiration to me in all things.") The Very Secret Diary of Theoden)
* Legolas, Part 2
==VSD Marketing==
From Claire's LiveJournal: 
From the original guestbook: 
==Linked at "TheOneRing.net"==
On June 13, 2002, TheOneRing.net commented and linked to "The Very Secret Diaries": 
Two days later, Cassie Claire commented: 
==Coverage Outside Fandom==
The Wikipedia article on the Diaries was deleted in 2011.A list of the arguments for and against deletion are archived here. Among the arguments was that slashfic is inherently not notable or worth documenting, a too often fate of fanworks and fandom history on Wikipedia. It stated:
==Subject of a Cease and Desist Letter? Nope==
In February 2003, Claire responded to fans' questions about the lack of new entries in the diary, and specifically if she'd stopped writing because of a cease and desist letter:
==Inspired Fanworks==
* Journal of Conquest translated by Bog (Gimli/Legolas) ("Gimli records his pursuit of a certain Woodland Elf.") (from Horizontal Mosaic #2 (2002)
* , a "snarky" poem by sajasma, May 23, 2004
==Reactions and Reviews==
===Comments at Guestbook===
* comments
===2002===
==References==
Category:2001 Fanfiction‎
Category:2002 Fanfiction‎