Like

Originally, the word meant like, something along the lines of "similar or having the same qualities" and to like, a lesser, more elementary school meaning "to be attracted to somebody. Sexually".
==What the fuck happened to the word "like"?==
But the good old fashioned days are over. By god were they good days. Now like can be used for anything, like stuffing a sentence, a turkey, your children, Bill Gate's children and possibly George W Bush's children (but never Tony Blair's children. Just, no).
Meriam-Webster probably did a survey and found out that like is the most misused word in the English language. I actually have no idea if they did. But that doesn't make this article very good, now does it?
==The thing that really bugs the crap out of me about the word "like"==
For a start, its Paris Hilton's second favorite word (after "hot" and before "cock", but pretty far away from "sexy" yet reasonably close to "bitch", "whore" or one of its derivatives). That should be enough for it to be destroyed, its wife raped, children maimed, water supply poisoned and fields salted. Apparently not. DAMN YOU WORLD DICTIONARIES. (but not as much as those fucking airhead girls).
Its so fucking annoying when the word "like" is in every sentence a person utters. And at least 29 times (to a lesser extent, 30) (i have no idea what "to a lesser extent really means). You get sentences that look like this:
Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, is a word. Totally.
==That was quite possibly the most depressing sentence I have ever seen==
Yeah it was. And I know emo people. I know the power of the emo mumble. But good luck finding a subject, predicate or meaning there. Fucking piece of crap. 
I could just keep rambling and occasionally falling off-topic, and yet my rage against "like" is unvanquished. Let me begin with another scramble of furious ADD action.
===The following is a true story. It could cause you to catch fire, but it won't===
So, I know this one girl and she thinks shes all punk-goth but shes more like emo-annoying. She says "like" as every third word. And every time she says it I feel like exploding. Why? because one just shouldn't use the word "like" all the fucking time. Try another word. Try using the word "job" instead of the word like. Try it, because it would be just (or maybe less) misused than it currently is. DAMN IT. That word makes me angry. (I'm just kidding. I know no-one of the sort. but if I did...)
One did replace all of the words "like" in this document, and march your men 1000 li to finally meet the enemy camp, one third of your army will have deserted and the other one would have hit you with broken bottles and attempt to give you a lobotomy WITHOUT ANESTHETICS. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW MUCH THAT WOULD HURT? NEITHER DO I, BUT I DON'T WANT TO TRY. YOU'RE FREE TO DO SO IF YOU WANT TO THOUGH.
If you had replaced the word "like" in this article for the word "job", it would look like this (boy, it feels like I've typed this part 3 times. Damn you attention span!):
==The Word "Job"'s humble beginnings==
Originally, the world "job" meant something along the lines of "similar or having the same qualities" and to a lesser, more elementary school meaning "to be attracted to somebody. Sexually".
==What the fuck happened to the word "job"?==
But the good old fashioned days are over. By god were they good days. Now job can be used for anything, job stuffing a sentence, a turkey, your children, Bill Gate's children and possibly George W Bush's children (but never Tony Blair's children. Just, no).
Meriam-Webster probably did a survey and found out that job is the most misused word in the English language. I actually have no idea if they did. But that doesn't make this article very good, now does it?
==The thing that really bugs the crap out of me about the word "job"==
For a start, it's Paris Hilton's second favorite word (after "hot" and before "cock", but pretty far away from "sexy" yet reasonably close to "bitch", "whore" or one of its derivatives). That should be enough for it to be destroyed, its wife raped, children maimed, water supply poisoned and fields salted. Apparently not. DAMN YOU WORLD DICTIONARIES. (But not as much as those fucking airhead girls).
Its so fucking annoying when the word "job" is in every sentence a person utters. And at least 29 times (to a lesser extent, 30) (i have no idea what "to a lesser extent really means). You get sentences that look job this:
Job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job, is a word. Totally.
===That was quite possibly the most depressing sentence I have ever seen===
Yeah it was. And I know emo people. I know the power of the emo mumble. But good luck finding a subject, predicate or meaning there. Fucking piece of crap. 
I could just keep rambling and occasionally falling off-topic, and yet my rage against "job" is unvanquished. Let me begin with another scramble of furious ADD action.
===The following is a true story. It could cause you to catch fire, but it won't===
So, I know this one girl and she thinks shes all punk-goth but she's more job emo-annoying. She says "job" as every third word. And every time she says it I feel job exploding. Why? because one just shouldn't use the word "job" all the fucking time. Try another word. Try using the word "job" instead of the word job. Try it, because it would be just (or maybe less) misused than it currently is. DAMN IT. That word makes me angry.
One did replace all of the words "job" in this document, and march your men 1000 li to finally meet the enemy camp, one third of your army will have deserted and the other one would have hit you with broken bottles and attempt to give you a lobotomy WITHOUT ANESTHETICS. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW MUCH THAT WOULD HURT? NEITHER DO I, BUT I DON'T WANT TO TRY. YOUR FREE TO DO SO IF YOU WANT TO THOUGH. (I'm just kidding. I know no-one of the sort. but if I did...)
==Analyzing what we've seen==
Yeah, that last bit is about as much sense as the word "like" is incorporated when used now-a-days. But please, don't run around saying "job" instead of "like" you will just lose all your friends, acquaintances, cousins, siblings, parents, essential and less essential organs and you extremities (yes that does include the penis. Oh how I would hate to lose that).
The other thing we can deduce is that putting job everywhere makes people TRY to think of a way to relate it to sex to make a joke or something, but they fail and get angry. God knows I've tried. We all have tried. Where the fuck are the bodies you sick bastard?
==The use of the word "like" in the English Language==
This word has many uses. It can link two ideas together explain a plot and most recently be repeated every 2 seconds by hipsters, retards, and rich girls without notice. Although there is no cure for the perverted use of the word, a swift kick in the ass has been said to do some good. Researches believe this use of the word is caused by eating paint chips as a baby or being exposed to Marijuana at a very young age.
The word "like" is now a mandatory part of every sentence spoken by every 10- to 25-year-old in the United Kingdom. It was introduced by the Yoof Speech, Communication an' Wha'ever Act 1995 (sponsor: Jane' Stree' Paw'er), Section 3 of which states:
"From now on, like, all kids from like 10 to 25 will 'ave to like insert at least five "likes" into every like sentence, whevver it's at skool, at 'ome or wha'ever. If you don't, like, you'll be sentenced to a five-year period of unkoolness an' be banned from facebook for, like, three years or wha'ever. The reason being that it like stands ter reason innit".
Legal scholars specializing in this area predict, however, that the word "f***ing" will soon replace "like" as a mandatory component of speech. Legislation on the subject is expected to be tabled by the Secretary of State for Non-Education early next year.
Category:Words
Category:Language
Category:English language
Category:Self-reference
eo:ŝato
ja:いいね