Velasquez Alstott

was a player for the Hades Tigers, and had been with the team since Fall Ball. Alstott has previously played for the Charleston Shoe Thieves. They were incinerated on Day 17 of Season 2
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==Official League Records==
Alstott joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves with .
On Day 92 of , Alstott hit a game-winning double home run in the ninth inning against the Dallas Steaks, helping to keep the Shoe Thieves in the running for a contentious playoff race.
During the , the Charleston Shoe Thieves received the increasing Alstott's overall stars from .
On , Day 29, Alstott's pitching ability was siphoned by Wyatt Pothos, decreasing it .
On Season 9, Day X, Alstott gained the modification after the Shoe Thieves lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS.
During the , Alstott received the due to the passing of the Forecast: Eclipse decree.
On , Day 41, some of Alstott's defensive ability was siphoned by Spears Taylor, decreasing it .
In the , Alstott received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming . (The Headphones would later be lost, along with all other Discipline Era items across the league, at the beginning of .)
During the Coffee Cup, Alstott played for the Americano Water Works as a lineup player.
During the , Alstott's modification was changed into the modification by the Shoe Thieves' will.
During the , Alstott's Haunted modification was changed into the modification by the Shoe Thieves' will.
During the , Alstott became an and gained the modification due to the blessing.
On , Day 35, Alstott retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for Blood Hamburger at Choux Stadium via the .
On , Day 12, Alstott joined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for Richardson Games at Choux Stadium via the Ratified .
During the December 2, 2022 Fall Ball, Alstott fell to the Hades Tigers.
On Season 2, Day 17 Alsott was Incinerated by a Rogue Umpire during Solar Eclipse (Blue) weather. They were replaced by Hana Wildebeest.
==Blaseball Career==
Following the Shoes vs Steaks game on Season 2, Day 92, Alstott gained the nickname "Twofer", referencing the double home run, her age (two years old), and her two-star player rating at the time. Since the beginning of Season 3, Alstott has consistently ranked among the top 10 doubles hitters in the league. As of the conclusion of Season 6, she currently ranks second in the league for all time doubles batted (184) behind Dickerson Morse of the Kansas City Breath Mints (190). She leads the league in percentage of hits as doubles (17%).
Following the Incineration of Shoe Thieves pitcher Matteo Prestige on Alstott's third birthday in Season 3, Alstott changed her walk-up music to the classic show tune "Empty Chairs At Empty Tables".
After a Hit-By-Pitch from Jaylen Hotdogfingers in the first postseason game of , Alstott's temporal non-linearity intensified considerably, often causing her to change ages during the middle of games or even within a single plate appearance. This effect persisted for longer than the standard nine days, with Alstott struggling with increased temporal instability for the majority of the following offseason, though she ultimately recovered in time for Season 8.
Alstott specializes in stealing glolf cleats, an impressive feat since most of them were destroyed as a result of the Blaseball-Glolf Clonflict.
==Personal Life==
Velasquez Alstott is the <choose uncached=""><option>2</option><option>12</option><option>22</option><option>12</option><option>22</option><option>22</option><option>32</option><option>42</option><option>102</option><option>222</option></choose> year old daughter of former Canada Moist Talkers player Kennedy Alstott. She began playing Blaseball for the Charleston Shoe Thieves at the age of two and was considered a miraculous prodigy in toddler terms, but relative to adult professional athletes she was below average. During , Alstott's parent Kennedy Alstott of the Moist Talkers was incinerated, leaving Velasquez orphaned. Soon after, she was found staring into a broken mirror in a truck stop bathroom and carving a seven-armed figure out of soap. When asked about this incident by reporters, she declined to comment, stating it was "nappy time".
Alstott holds the current record for possessing the most non-artificial teeth among all Blaseball players, disputed by fellow Shoe Thieves player Blankenship Fischer until their incineration. During Fischer's incineration on day 75 of Season 3, one of Fischer's teeth became detached from their body and landed at Alstott's feet. She later had the tooth inscribed with various symbols of unknown origin and now wears it as a necklace.
Following Morrow Doyle's incineration in Season 4, Alstott began making regular visits to the Doyle's memorial in the Boston Flowers Memorial Bat Forest, often spending nights sleeping with Doyle's cats Thelma and Abernathy under the Trans-dimensional Violet Tree. Prolonged exposure to this zone of temporal instability has caused Alstott to begin aging discontinuously, although apparently only in precise intervals of ten years from her previous age of two.
During the Grand Siesta, Alstott announced via social media that she had adopted a bulldog puppy. Despite being affectionately dubbed "Beasley Gloom 2," it is not known at this time whether or not the dog possesses a similar pitching ability to his namesake. Regardless, Beasley 2 is currently in training to become a licensed service dog and assist Alstott with both her mental health and her wild leaps through time.
==Fan Works==
File:Valasquez Alstott.png|Young Velasquez by 
File:Velasquez Tlopps Card.png|Older Velasquez' Tlopps Card by 
File:Twofer.png|Vela by @Patchwork-Quilts
File:Twofer miniblaseball.png|Miniblaseballer by @HetreaSky
File:Vela jo.jpg|Vela at different ages by discogoth on Discord
File:vela puppy walking.jpg|by 
File:GAMETIME!.jpg|by @tywyso
Category:Original Players
Category:Players with a Tlopps card‏‎
Category:Surviving original players
Category:Charleston Shoe Thieves surviving original players
Category:Americano Water Works