Stephen A. Smith

Stephen A. Smith is a professional loudmouth and deafening, Nation of Islam impersonating, Dallas Cowboys "hating", sports "analyst" on ESPN. Smith is most well known for phrases such as the following: "HOWEVAH, IF I AM SAYING THIS LOUDLY IT MUST BE TRUE!!" and "EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!!" For years, Smith appeared to be headed on his way out at ESPN as network executives have embraced the seldom used business theory of professionalism, but they, whether by accident or not, shitcanned the others such as Skip Bayless and Ray Lewis instead. Well SUCKS FOR THEM! There's only enough room for one yappin' loudmouth on ESPN. It's called survival of the LOUDEST, baby! Max Kellerman can also go pound sand. Y'all need to lay off duhh WEEEEEE-duh!
Stephen A. (or "Screamin' A. Smith" as he likes to be called) also, by the love of God, just so happens to be a multiple Emmy Award winning television reporter. In 2006 the Emmy's "Loud Angry Black Man" category was renamed after him and dubbed the "Screamin' A. Smith "SAY IT LOUD ENOUGH AND THEY WILL BELIEVE YOU" award".
Smith is from England, as can be noted from his thick British accent and his snobbishly fastidious observance of correct grammar. After graduating magna cumm laude with a Phd in English Literature from Oxford University Smith moved to America and started following sports and writing sports articles. He quickly built up a very loyal fanbase. Smith is noted to reach a decibel level only heard in screaming yaks and screeching beetles when he makes a point, which is usually right about when the other guy is halfway through making his point. Described as the H. Rap Brown of NBA basketball reporters by an important social critic, Smith has continued his fiery denunciation of pointless basketball minutiae to his wit's end.
Now, now, now HOOLD ON A SEC. WHADDYA MEAN Stephen A. can't say nuthin' about the Enn Eff Ell!?? HUH?? Just because he's a basketball fanatic who SUPPOSEDLY knows nothing about football?? Stephen A. knows ALL the Sportsball! And, and, and... LET ME FINISH! Let me finish. Oh, now you're sayin' ESPN was only making money when Stephen A. had someone to argue with and talk over rather than bein' the ONLY personality with any sort of "personality" on air?? Oh puh-lease, you must be TRIPPING!
Wait, surely you must be befuddled, there is no way -HWAAAT, is this for real? Well.. shit. ESPN better hire another loudmouth nincompoop to compete with Stephen A. Smith. That's what happens when the channel tries a whole lotta baloney to stay relevant and trudges into politics rather than "stick to sports".
==Trivia==
*An MSN search for pages containing the phrase "I hate Stephen A. Smith" returned 3,543,321 results.
*When told by a superior he incorrectly inserted the wrong score, point total, and winning team into an article about the NBA Finals Smith asserted, "QUIT PLAYA-HATIN' I'M JUST KEEPING IT REAL!!"
*Stephen A. Smith is considered one of the world's foremost basketball experts by Kyle (aged 14) in Minnesota.
Category:Sports
Category:Articles about a person written in the style of that person
Category:AGH MY EARS
Category:People Without Talent
Category:People who want to destroy all things
Category:Black people