UnWeather

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UnWeather is the most reliable weather forecasting source on the interweb. UnWeather uses many other sources and chucks them in the bin because they are always wrong. UnWeather give you the correct forecast you want. UnWeather will detect your current location and then give you an accurate forecast for the area closest to your current location. However for some areas of Russia, Moscow is the closest area. UnWeather also accepts weather bribes. For details please contact UnWeather via the usual E-mail address. UnWeather is currently being bribed by .
==It is currently: ==
Yesterday	Last Night	Today	Tonight	Tomorrow
 	 	 	 	
==Daytime Temperature for Tomorrow==
High: 1000000 Kelvins
Low: 1000000 Kelvins
==Probability of fireballs for Tomorrow==
right|200px|Within an area of m³ of you there are exactly gnomes, and faeries.
==Gnomes per 1000 for The coming week==
The average value of Gnomes for the coming week is approx. 0 Gnomes per 1000 Humans. For an exact number of gnomes where you are, hold your cursor over the magic gnome to the right.
==Server Status==
Server	Status
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MSN is online.
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MSN is offline.
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AIM is online.
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AIM is offline.
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ICQ is online.
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ICQ is offline.
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==Heat Index==
The BTU is currently worth 1055.05585 joules on the international market.
==Other Significant Notes==
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<option>===Global Worming===
The problem of global worming, the alarming increase in the number of worms in the world, is now being discussed in academic circles as the next great mess we might be heading into. Professors from several ivy league schools will be gathering in San Francisco next week to discuss how this will affect people who might be affected by its effects. Professor Eckhart Fingbinger is heading the group, and has described this problem as "an unparalleled potential catastrophe which is worse than anything we might have seen if it were paralleled" and recommends "the formation of a presidential task force to recognize that this is a problem that is an unparalleled potential catastrophe which needs a presidential task force to recognize that this is a problem which is worse than anything we might have seen if it were paralleled." Scientists from several countries will be attending the event and will show data that indicates that this might be the next great mess we might be heading into and to show the effects this might have on people who might be affected. The president said in a press conference yesterday that he will form a task force to recognize the problem which might affect people according to data that will be shown by scientists from several countries next week indicating that this might be a great mess that we might be heading into.
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===Exposure Surpasses Cancer as Leading Killer Among Smokers===
ROCHESTER, New York - Doctors are reporting dramatically increased numbers of cases of exposure, frostbite, and other weather-related health issues among the smoking population. "Patients tell me that they know it's cold, they know they shouldn't be out in it, but they just have to have a puff," said Dr. Lyle Wallen, clearly exasperated, "Then they wind up here in our wards. We've lost twenty-three of them this week, one had a cigarette butt frozen to his lips when he was admitted. It's just ridiculous."
"I know I shouldn't do it. I smoke at home, in my car, it's all good," explained one patient who refused to give her name, "But those eight hours at work are just unbearable. And there's no place else to go, you gotta go outside. The homeless guys look at us like we're all prats and I can tell you, that's not a self-affirming experience!" Current laws in many states do not allow smoking in public buildings, which has led to company-sponsored indoor smoking areas being closed off. "We used to have a nice smoking lounge, and it didn't hurt nobody. Non-smokers stayed out," said Tyler McLow, "But that's gone. It's stupid, and it ain't fair. And I guess it ain't even safe."
Some companies are attempting to address the issue. "We provide every means for our smoking associates to do so safely," said Quincy Bates, apparently missing the irony. Bates is the Director of Human Resources for IntaWorld Communications. "We are not allowed by law to have an indoor smoking area, but we've allowed our associates to erect a tent behind our facilities where they can smoke out of the wind. I understand if a few of them go out together, it can actually get quite toasty."
For some, the call of the addiction is not strong enough to warrant the trek out into the cold. This has led to an overall increase in productivity through the winter. "I can see no other explanation for it," said one manager of a small manufacturing firm, "Our guys are getting more done because they're not taking as many breaks. We've had a few more accidents that we're used to, and a few fistfights have broken out. That's new for us. But bottom line output is definitely higher. I could do with more months like this!"
Doctors from hospitals around the state agree that with the cold weather and high winds, smokers now find themselves at a higher and certainly more immediate risk from exposure than from the litany of other health problems they've come to expect. "Just another log on the fire," said one smoker, "I'll add it to the list."
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===Global Worming Behind Tropical Weather===
The increased number of worms in the tepid climate results in hotter weather says new survey by Professor Eckhart Fingbinger of the University of Calaforina. The survey isn't as in-depth as many had hoped and as a result critics criticise. The research however does through light onto the burning situation, showing that global worming is not a force to be reckoned with. Global worming is blamed for the recent Hurricane Ermintrude, which destroyed a large area of northern Alaska. The government has decided to fund research into global worming in this very late stage of the situation, many say its too late, but they were dismissed as depressing.
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===The Axe Effect===
There has been a dramatic fall in the number of trees across the globe over the last hundred years as a result of axe intervention. Since the turn of the century 8%of the Brazilian rainforest has been cleared, oxygen levels have plummeted and soon the axe effect will become erriversable.
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===Earthquake Weather===
Aristotle proposed that earthquakes were caused by winds trapped in subterranean caves. Small tremors were thought to have been caused by air pushing on the cavern roofs, and large ones by the air breaking the surface. This theory lead to a belief in earthquake weather, that because a large amount of air was trapped underground, the weather would be hot and calm before an earthquake. Current theory states that earthquakes occur in calm, cloudy conditions, and are usually preceded by strong winds, fireballs, and meteors. Earthquake weather is a widely believed fact that's here to stay, but recent research shows that over the next millennium the chances of earthquakes could become a normal day to day condition in which we will have to cope. It is believed that the decrease in the numbers of fish in the worlds waters is causing the land to subside. This is little understood and so the government has not funded research into the theory as it is "pure rubbish".
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An alternative to Unweather is to actually stand up and look out the window, that will give you a good idea to what is going on in the world of weather. Yes, shock horror you may have to actually exert some energy, you may as well not look we both know your not going outside so don't kid yourself, geeky boy. perhaps rather than reading this drivel you could actually go outside and do something like find a cure for cancer.
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Category:Weather