TETRIS: GOD IS DEAD

I have always loved Tetris. Though I was too young to experience the original game on Gameboy, my version growing up was Tetris Worlds for the GBA. This had some fucking awesome modes like sticky Tetris that makes the blocks sticky and fusion Tetris that makes the blocks fuse. Revolutionary stuff really. And I wasn't the only one who loved the game. As a child my mommy would always steal my baby blue GBA and play Tetris on it for hours at a time. Sometimes I would even hear her cackling like a witch as she snatched up the console and booted it up for some more Tetris fun.
After my mommy died I couldn't bear to play anymore Tetris. Even looking at the console brought back memories of the fun she used to have sticking the little blocks together and laughing like a hyena as the little sound went off signifying that she just got a Tetris. Eventually my dad bought me a Nintendo DS for Christmas along with Pokemon Diamond and that took all my attention away from the old game. Years went by as the cartridge sat in the bottom of a drawer collecting dust, the plastic yellowing, the glue on the label melting, and waiting for the day when it would again be played...
Eventually I became an adult. It was hard being the single child of an alcoholic abusive father who used to hit me with a belt every day after school, but whenever this happened I just thought of the scene from Goodfellas where Henry Hill says everyone takes a beating sometimes. I just bottled up my pain and let it out in a good battle or two in my Pokemon games, ruthlessly killing Raticates or Pidgies with my level 100 Infernape and close combat. Soon I was getting ready to go off to college and so was packing up all my stuff when a little rainbow label caught my eye.
It was Tetris Worlds for the GBA. Suddenly a wave of memories began pouring back into my brain, and I decided to drop everything just to have a quick game. You know, for the sake of nostalgia. I found my old worn out GBA and slid the cartridge into the slot as I flipped up the screen and turned it on. The familiar Gameboy startup screen played, although something was a bit weird. Instead of saying Nintendo in bright pink font, it instead said "Your Time Is Up". I thought that was kind of weird as I had never seen this before, but figured it was either some kind of easter egg or just my imagination. Anyway, the game loaded and I skipped through all the logos and shit before getting to the title screen. Ah, the title screen. The little jingle played as colored squares with oddly realistic eyes flew across the screen. This reminded me that this game always had a really strange early 2000s CGI art style to it that I honestly kind of digged. Eagerly I hit start and got into a game.
I decided to just do a normal game for now and maybe I'd check out the other modes later. The underwater background loaded in and more of the weird realistic-eyed blocks spun around behind the play area. As I began dropping blocks and smiling with nostalgia, I joked to myself that the blocks were kind of like the people in I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. For those unaware, in this story, the people have no mouths but must scream. Harrowing stuff. However, just as I thought this, a certain yellow block stopped moving and seemed to look directly at me. It just sat there for what felt like several seconds before what appeared to be a tear drop ran down its cheek before quickly fleeing. This was a bit strange, but I couldn't focus too much on it cause the blocks were coming down quick! Slotting them all into place was incredibly euphoric, and I'm not ashamed to admit that when I claimed my first Tetris in over 12 years, I got a bit hard. However, this joy didn't last for long as soon our old yellow friend returned to continue staring at me. Almost a minute he sat there, watching, looming... before suddenly the game froze. I was so mad that I considered smashing the console to bits, but got my cool and tried to unfreeze the game. Unfortunately, nothing worked, but what I realized is while everything else was stopped, the block continued to blink. This now actually creeped me out.
What happened next will always stick with me. The block began to tear up again, as a little text bubble appeared above its head, with the words "Derek...". Derek is my actual name! I didn't remember ever inputting a name, unless it was something I had done all those years ago and had simply forgot about, but even still, for a Tetris block to be saying my name and crying was very very uncalled for. It continued to cry as the text changed to "Why have you forsaken me?". "What?" I said, "I would never forsake you Tetris!". Amazingly, it seemed to respond to my words: "Then please, let me out! Let me out, Derek!". Let him out of what? The game? I knew that wasn't possible, and that this had to be some sort of glitch or elaborate prank by the developers. I was about to turn the game off and go look on the web for anything about a creepy easter egg in Tetris Worlds for the GBA, only to find that... I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried my fingers wouldn't remove themselves from the buttons, nor could my head even turn away from the screen. I was stuck, as this little creature held me hostage.
Finally something changed. The screen went dark, with just the faintest outline of the block's eyes still staring right into my soul, as slowly the board illuminated again with a gruesome sight. The background now seemed to be some sort of digitized photo of bloody human organs pulsating and bleeding, as the blocks that descended were no longer bright and colorful... but were instead bloody, misshapen corpses. A woman's body, stabbed to death and contorted into an L shape, slowly slid its way down the screen, leaving a trail of blood behind. Unable to escape this hell, I slotted her into the corner of the frame, as the next horror appeared. A man, his skull showing through his burnt skin, was crushed and pressed into a T shape. As I laid him on top of the woman, I heard a wet squishing sound following by the ear piercing cries of the man and woman. Next was another woman, curled up and forced into the cube shape with all of her hair and skin burnt off, and she could be heard crying in pain as she was put into the box.
Layer by layer I stacked these tortured souls, bawling like a child as I tried in vain to resist, but it was like my hands now had a mind of their own. The yellow block continued to stare as his eyes became increasingly bloodshot and realistic, continuing to taunt me: "STACK DEREK! STACK YOUR VICTIMS!". Some of the realistically rendered animals from the other levels began to frolic across the background, only to turn to stare at me and tell me to kill my parents. I felt like I was actually going insane here, and even out of the corner of my eye I could see that the room around me was growing darker and redder, forcing my attention to remain on the bright screen before me. As the time came for a Tetris, an intense dread fell over me as I knew what was coming. Finally the piece locked in place, as four lines of bodies screamed in pure unbridled agony as they were ripped and torn apart. Some were destroyed in their entirety, but those who weren't completely taken out suffered an even worse fate. A man stuffed into an L shape saw his lower half get cut off by the Tetris, and he screamed for several minutes as his intestines fell out and he tried in vein to scoop them back into his torso. A man had the top part of his head cut off, leaving just his lower jaw as his tongue vibrated and blood gurgled in his attempt to scream. Even worse, I watched as the yellow demon let out muffled laughs, soon tearing himself a new mouth as many rows of crooked, razor sharp teeth emerged along with a long, slimy forked tongue, and his laughing now rang throughout the room with every victim I killed and maimed.
I didn't know how long this torment would continue, until I realized a way out. Using all of my power I missed as many opportunities as I could to clear more lines, slowly stacking bodies to the top as the yellow demon began to show fear. "NO DEREK! YOU HAVE TO DESTROY THE BODIES!! YOU CAN'T LET THEM ESCAPE!!" even as he tried to force me to lock the bodies in place I stacked them further and further to the top until finally he let out one final scream as I ran out of room, and the screen faded to black. A cutscene played showing the remaining victims using the pile of corpses to climb their way out of this hellish nightmare, allowing them to float upward toward a heavenly light. My tears of agony now turned to tears of joy as I saw these poor people, having gone through so much torment, finally reach the afterlife. However, as they walked up to the gates, there was a pause, as everything once again turned red and black, and the yellow demon slowly emerged from behind the gate, laughing hysterically. He was no longer a Tetris block. He had morphed into some unholy amalgam of blood and guts, with different Tetris pieces sticking out of his mass of flesh. Long, hairy spider limbs carried him across the bloody plain, and one by one I saw him murder the people whom I thought I had saved, before allowing his face to fill the camera as he uttered "GOD IS DEAD".
It seemed as though he had finally won. Here I was, trapped, unable to do anything to stop this thing's reign of terror and bloodshed. I all but accepted my fate as I felt the game begin to suck me into it, with the creature's teeth and tongue emerging from the screen to scoop me up. Just before I was brought into hell however, a familiar voice rang out in the distance. "LEAVE MY SON ALONE!". The demon turned around suddenly, still clenching me in his teeth, as my dead mommy appeared as some sort of angelic figure behind him. In a moment of clarity from my trance, I grabbed onto the edge of the game screen and began trying to pull myself out of the demon's mouth. He began biting down on my legs to try and hold me, but my mommy began powering up some sort of light beam before unleashing it upon the creature. It screamed in agony as the light burned and purified its wretched skin, allowing me to escape its grasp and enter back into reality. I could only stare on as the two fought, but mommy looked at me as she yelled "DEREK! YOU HAVE TO TURN THE GAME OFF!". "No mommy... y-you'll die!" I cried, knowing this was my last chance to reunite with my dear mommy. "DEREK! I'LL ALWAYS BE WATCHING OVER YOU! PLEASE! YOU HAVE TO DESTROY IT!". Though I was extremely hesitant, I knew what must be done, and with one last cry from the yellow demon, I flicked the game off and watched as within a split second the screen turned to black, and everything suddenly returned to normal.
Taking the game out of the console, I saw the label had changed. It was now an all white field with my mommy in the center of it, looking at me and smiling. "You did it, Derek... now I may finally rest. I'll be here for you, always.". And with that, she walked away into the field of white as the pearly gates of heaven opened and allowed her in, and with one final wink from God, the label faded back to its original design.
After that, I knew I couldn't risk this game wreaking anymore havoc. So I put it for sale on eBay for 1 cent. Someone named Florence bought it... wonder who he is? Anyway, despite finally receiving closure with my mommy, I was still constantly tortured by memories of the awful things I had seen and done while in that hellhole. I now feel as though I have achieved my destiny in this life, to kill that horrible beast, and no longer is there anything left for me now. I am going to kill myself tonight. In fact, I have the noose around my neck as I type this. Once this is posted, I will be dead. Then me and mommy can finally be reunited in eternity, playing the Tetris we remember so fondly. Goodbye, and thank you for reading.
P.S. to the developers of Tetris Worlds, please make the original Tetris theme the default music instead of whatever it currently the default.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Vidya games
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Category:Pointless Violence
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