Tep Palk/tiakall2015

come on self, one hour left and 1k to go. 1k for real this time. you got this. no giving up now. give yorself a little pep talk. just like halls
YES
I SHOULD TYPE INCOHERENT PEP TALK 
okay here goes
so, i had this briglliant idea to write a pep talk at the end of my 50kday, aka 50kkillmenow. i know very much I would regret this course of action, but i did it anyone bceuase i'm pretty sure my brain likes going 'fuck you' to itself. I also apparently become kind of an asshole when I'm incoherent levels fo tired and think I'm hilarious so you've been warned.
um, so you know what? you got this. if I can sit here at 11pm on a sunday (thank GOD i don't have wrok) and type this other nonsense, well, at least you'rs is not as bad as mine.
unless, you did what i did and do something stupild like 50kkillme now. in which case, yours is as bad as mine but whatever, you did 50k in a day and hey, some of it's probably worht saving. 
every time you think your novel sucks, just take a look back at this and rememember that this is IN MY NOVEL RIGHT NO. it's in ts own chapter of shame and it is staying there untill well into editing stage and even then it may not be removed. and even if it is removed it's in al the backups. you think your novel is shit? i WRONTE BAD CAPS AND TALKING TO MYSELF AND THE WORST JOKES IVE EVER DONE IM INCOHERENT AND EVEN I CAN TELL THEYRE BAD. 
I'm not drunk, I swear. Just tired.
so yeah, if you think you can't make it, if you're at the end of the day, and you need a pysh, then don't take a nap then fire ze missiles (that's french missiles, not cai missiles) time to open up the chapter of shame. Write something in it. it doesn't have to be good. it will probably be bad but it will be there and who knows, when you come back to it not-tired (or sober) it may make you laugh, it may make you cry, and isn't that what a good novel is supposed to anyway? 
I'm sure this makes sense.
I'm hilarious, guys. did you know?
um. so yougot this. remember there are lots of people that believe in you and some of them are fictional and they may only belive in you because if they don't and you fail to write the novel, they are condemnted to squishy brain space forever and that's not a fun place to be. but they believe you and it still totally counts. And there are also people that believe you in the forusm and stuff and twitter and the chat and the other social media i'm mod of social media youd think i could name some more. um. not facebook. those guys don't believe in anyone, don't listen to them. just let them go back to farmville
what is that noise?
no seriously is that a car?
um where was I. People that believe in you! Don't believe in the people that believe in you (well okay you can) but believe in the yout that believes in everybody. wait I think that quote got wrong. um its the one from gurren lagann. you know, thatone. 
yep.
so reember, the novel doesn't have to be good. it doesn't have to make sense. i mean those things are nice but really optional, i mean think about it, how many times did we have to read a novel for english class and it made no sense. sound and the fury/ um no screw that.
just remember, your novel cannot be worse than the Scarlet Letter. He spent an entire chapter on a rose bush, people. A ROES BUSH! it wasn't even like a cook rose book, it was like some tacky flowers and teyre outside a jail and somehow this is a metaphor for something. Next time you're stuck, write in a metaphor for something. it cannot be worse than the scarlet letter.
(the scarlet witch is probably okay)
the other thing to reminbmer.... actually no this is too many things to mremember. i promise my next pep talk will have 1000% less typos. but yes. you got this, your novel doesn't suck, and if it does you can always set your computer on fire. well wait no that's terrible advice. back up fyour files, THEN set your computer on fire. ive done this before, trust me. the backup part, not the fire part. OH YEAH ARE YOU BACKING UP YOUR NOVEL? DO IT RIGHT NOW. cause I mean, who would want to lose a precious thing like this amirite
the other other thing to remember is that not using contractions is actually a really poor tip for dirty word tricks. you do much better giving your characters multiple names like bobby rae or jessie james or mr. ian woon. those are lots easier to reemmber and also, swearing is good for your wordcount too. i mentioned there can be wswearing in this forum because i'm the mod and its what i do, so just for the record, my faviite swear is fuck. it's just so flexible. (I have the presence of min not to make a tacky your mom joke but it seriously took self control)
seriously, don't skip contractions. it just throws you out of the loop and it's a pain to go back and fix later. unless you've got like a samurai who talks like athat, then skip ALL the contractions.
and if all else fails, just remember to use these words of wisdom:
butts
(told you I'm hilarious)
*exits stage left, dragged by giant cane*