I SLIGHTLY LIKE YOU!

You see, I am a simple college student living alone in an apartment. I was very enthusiastic about the release of Pokémon ShartGold/ShitSilver here in the bates. I have purposely locked myself out of all media and the Internet aside for school purposes even porn. That means no rockettube, no gagbitch, no Bulbapenis, etc.
As I was busy with the school year and being poor at the time, I wasn't able to buy ShitSilver on its lunch date. After my school year ended, I ordered SoulSilver from the Amazon Forest. However, it would take a week for it to arrive. I decided that during that time, I would replay my Crystal meth version on my Bongboy Color.
However, however I realized that long ago, however my mom threw it away because I told her the save went dead, and I was very upset about it then so I slapped her. She also threw away my Silver version, so all I have is my Blackboy Color. As such, I set out to Gamestop and bought a used Silver version, as it's the only Pokémon game left that they have for the GBC. $120 dollars – fairly cheap.
I went home and started it up for a nostalgia trip. However, that's where things started getting bizarre, and most likely the reason why you read this.
The Gamefreak logo started up as normal, but then it just changed to "Tittyfreak". I was startled by this. I thought the cart was just errored or something, so I turned it off and on. The same thing happened. I tried pressing A and Start over and over, and all of the buttons. Eventually, the logo vanished and there was a black screen for about an hour.
Suddenly, rather than going to the usual screen, I was usually in the game in a previous saved file, which was odd as I was expecting all of these carts to have been wiped their ass by the poor battery.
Either way, I wasn't complaining, as I would have chosen the "Shoot myself" option to see what the previous guy did anyways.
First off, I checked his trainer information. His name was just "Poop" – He didn't have much originaltitty.
I checked his profile and apparently he had 999:99 hours put into the game, with all 6 badges, 666.9 Pokédollars, and all 666 Pokémon on the Satandex.
Seeing as he apparently had Mew and Celebi logged also, I am guessing he either was a fucking hacker or was a really hardcore Pokémon player back then. My guess being he worked at Gamefreak.
I checked his Pokémon to see what a cumass team he has. To my surprise, I saw 5 guys and a sixth Pokémon named "CURRY". I'm thinking that he must have mispelled "Carry". I like Curry better. Butt I decided to check the profiles of those Pokémon anyways.
As expected, of , all Level 5 Pokemon they sucked cock. I was a bit shaky with my Pokemon alphabet at the time, but I identified the word spelled out to be "Jewluminati".
As for the sixth Pokémon, it turned out to be a Cyndaquil (mind you, this is before there were individualized Pokémon icons). The Cyndaquil looked normal, but it was Level 5 with only 100,000 HP left with only two attacks: "Swag" and "Baller".
I don't know why they named him "Curry", but at the time, I just disregarded it. The most eerie thing was that, despite my volume being at max, none of the Pokémon he had said their usual cries. Just pure silence. Do you hear it? Do you hear the silence. Listen. Just listen. Hear it?
Having enough of the team, I fapped to it. I was porked at what appears to be a room inside Dongsprout Tower. However, for some reason, there were no NPCs around. Even more eerie was that the "penis" in the middle didn't move at all, as if just leaning on its side. There was no music at all, and there was no exit or ladder, or least I thought there wasn't.
I walked around for a few minutes but can't seem to find a way out. This was certainly not a room I've seen in the Womansquirt Tower before. I tried checking my items for an Escape Pope, but the bag was completely empty. There wasn't any Wild Old Men either.
Finally, I managed to find a ladder, which turned out to be behind the "Penor". The screen turned black and the music finally started playing. I had a sudden chill, as I recognize that melody I heard to be from the Snoop Dogg soundtrack.
I immediately realize that it wasn't a loading transition, but rather I was in a dark room and would need Flash. I used flash and saw the most terrorflying thing I have ever seen in real life. It was Snoop Dogg.
I recall that Snopp Dogg has rabies, so I turned off my Pokégear and made Cyndaquil use Booty Blast and I soon regretted it. The room was a chilling room. It was really cold. Oh and it was filled with pixilated blood as if I were playing on a gameboy or something.
I had no choice but to head south. The screen got darker every 20 steps I made, until I finally made it to the end, which appears to be a sign. I read the sign, which said "Smoke Weed Everyday".
Suddenly, I was asked to answer YES/NO, but there was no question asked. I chose NO as I do not know what it was asking, and the screen went black again, making a "fapping" sound. Snoop Dogg stopped chasing me, and in a few seconds was replaced with the hot bitch from Pokemon Saphire & Redstone. You know. Gardevoir.
I was in another dark room, but I held my breath and used Flash again. Suddenly, it said that "Snoop has fainted!" which was odd since I recall he morfed into Gardewhore. There was no status conditions like Weed Poison on him, and I clearly wasn't in a battle. I checked my Pokémon's virginity quickly and suddenly he's no longer a virgin. In fact, after a bit of investigating, none of my Pokémon were virgins there, but instead all replaced with names like "Hoe" and "Whore". My gameboy speakers then said "I love anal".
Either way, after that creepy noise, the room was lit to reveal myself in a very small room that appears to be only four squares big. The walls of that room were gay bricks, as if I was inside something that was hollowed out. Outside that room appears to be a bunch of graves similar to the ones in Pokémon Red/Blue. I've walked around that small room and pressed A. When all of a sudden I heard a "You shouldn't have done that". Snoop Dogg re-appeared.
I'v already cumcluded that this was a hacked game. Due to it's lack of NPC's. I took the CD out of my Xbox 360 and snapped it in half then went to sleep. But I woke up when I heard my PC turn on. My God, I left my porn on. I hope my family didn't see it.
After a few days I repaired the dick and stuck it back in my 3DS. The title screen was back to normal when all of a sudden I saw something pop out the logo and running right at the screen. I dropped a disgusting piece of shit in my pants. Seriously it fucking stank so bad.
After that screen, the game started and I pressed A. Some dialoyge came up and said "I SLIGHTLY LIKE YOU" this made me feel horny. I took out my dick and started fapping when all of a sudden my character appeared and said "Keep going, cum inside me". I felt violated. 
Aftwer awhile I finally discovered what the message meant. Snoop Dogg left the "I slightly like you message". He wants me. All of a dudden i was telepoted to a town named "Fuck Her Right in The Pussy". 
Ah, fuck it I'm done with the story.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
Category:Pokemon
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Excessive Profanity
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:English Class Failure