Two Beauties and a Beast

Two Beauties and a Beast is a 1991 meta fic by an anonymous author using the pseud, Wendy Darling.
It was printed in the print zine, Once Upon Another Time. For a related fanwork, see Application for the Grand Poo-Bah Status in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST Fandom.
The story is told from Ron Perlman's point of view, who is the actor who portrays Vincent Wells, the Beast.
It is a cruel, scathing, over-the-top story of being attacked and sexually assaulted by two obsessed Beauty and the Beast fans named Jillie and Lettie. Perlman is then rescued by Vincent Wells.
It is a rare example of RPF as it mentions his wife, his daughter, Linda Hamilton, and his dog, Samson. 
==Some Context==
"Two Beauties and a Beast" is a disdainful, angry RPF meta fic that scolds fans for their behavior and obsessions. It includes two fans sexually assaulting Ron Perlman. It is a very detailed polemic on the state of Beauty and the Beast (TV) fandom and fans. It reads like a meta open letter. 
An example of a similar anonymous screed was the 1984 Star Trek: TOS flyer, Naked Doubles.
This fic feels very personal, calling some fans "manic depressives," "pathological liars," and violent. It cites examples (some of them rumors) of fan behaving badly: "Went through the dumpster at the Vernon set for 'goodies,' or stole them on location from actors' trailers when no one was looking.", "Sent distasteful "gifts (like dead roses) to cast/production office/network", "Made lots of money selling the home addresses/phone numbers of the stars of BATB to manic-depressive, fanatical fans, then headed the group driving off to park and stare at their houses."
==Targeting Two Specific Fans==
The writer also targeted fans who were involved in specific conventions: Fan-Out and Creation Con. While two of these fans were very likely Victoria Clark and Barbara Storey, the fic addresses many fans.
The author calls the two fans in the story "Lettie" and "Jillie," a purposeful jab at infantilzing them. They are described as "... a tall, slender redhead with blue eyes, angular features, and a lot of makeup; the other was shorter and a bit stouter with bleach-blonde shoulder-length hair and brown eyes. The best of friends, they had long been united by a shared fanatical interest in a certain television show." The author states that "They outweighed him. And they were plugged into a fan network of over 2,000."
 
Fans in general are described as having: "fat, wet lips," "substantial bosoms," "octopus arms," "sweaty hands," "very shrill voices," "limp-lidded, devoted looks," "very little tact," "greedy, wet fingers," "nasty, clutching fingers," "damp hands with long, spider-like fingers," and "sound like Miss Piggy with a hernia." They "hiss," "shriek with delight," "squeal with feminine triumph," have "sappy looks of devotion," and "frenzied throes of devotion." They are overweight and wear promiscuous clothing as they ask "stupid questions." 
In his desperate run through the New York's Central Park, the author describes Ron Perlman "narrowly missing a male couple in a kissing clench on his left." -- desperation and weirdness in Central Park is complete!
==Sample Text==
 
==Sample Pages==
 
 
Image:onceuponanothertime-3.jpg|from "Two Beauties and a Beast": "'Gotchal' came a squeal of feminine triumph from his left. A damp hand clutched his arm; long, spider-like fingers snaked around his wrist. 'You're so cute when you run.' 'Why do they always sound like Miss Piggy with a hernia? his weary thoughts rambled."
 
Image:onceuponanothertime-5.jpg|Two Beauties and a Beast": "'I wanna have your love child,' she breathed in his face, and he shuddered to realize that she was entirely serious. He leaned back on the grass as a pair of fat, wet lips came closer, closer, closer... Oh, yuck."
==References==