FAMILY GUY EVIL MOV FILE: FAMILY DIE

Dear reader, I am typing this as a ghost. Everything around me is dark and cold. Floating around me are bunches of ones and zeros. I think I can safely say ghosts are real now that I am one, and I appear to be inside a computer. But, I don’t think it was of my own doing. Somehow, my ghost was put in this device, and the more I monologue to myself the more its is being projected onto an email in this computer. Making myself to move elsewhere doesn’t let me type the rest of this email, so eventually, when I get out, I’ll come back to get this email, and tell you what happened. This sure is weird. It’s like I’m being watched…….
Update: What happened was seriously so crazy. I have to get into it immediately. Right now I’m safe and sound, but the journey I went through was mind boggling.
Just a few days back…
I awoke from my strange subconciensous state to find myself on the cold hard ground, much like the one that I had previously passed out on. Picking myself up, I found that i was completely devoid of the blood wounds that ruptured my skin. Had someone healed me? Making cents of my surroundings, I put one foot in front on the other and touched the wall next to me. Of course, I recognized it instantly! I was back at my house, having woke up next to my iconic Cartoon Merchendise Wall, a brick wall in my bedroom with all sorts of merchandise on each shelve . When i saw my bed, I began to wonder if this had all been just a heckin bad dream!
It would seem all that is normal, but my friend, and deer viewer, nothing could be further from the truth.
I took a step outside to read the morning paper, and I read quite the troubling headline. “Shoot out at nearby bar, three left injured, one dead”. As I dropped the paper to drink my coffe, I clumsily spilled it onto the table and onto much of my belongings. “Drat!” i yelled, but as some of the spill landed on the newspaper, I began to notice something that made my head turn. The coffee erased some of the ink on the paper, showing the front news image as not that of a regular bar, but one that looked a little…two dimensional. And right on the image, I saw it. The bar was now called “The Drunkin Clam”!
While the average normie would be blind to recognize this reference, a cartoon craziac such as myself would know that this is an iconic location in the hit seth macfarlane cartoon Family Guy. Perhaps my insane escipades wit those freakin’ cartoons hadn’t ended/
Before I could realize the implemencations of this discovery, i was bonked on the top of my head. Yeouch! And I was put out cold again.
I woke up once more, this time kind of miffed. I was tired of waking up! Isn’t there a better way to transition to the next scene, I wondered. But as my vision came too, I realized my surroundings were not that of one that sees reality. The room was empty with a white floor and walls, with blue lighting. However everything looked flated in color and dimension, and outlined in a line thickness that I unmistakably knew was that of Family Guy. I wasn’t just watching a cartoon anymore. I was in one!
Just over from behind me, I heard the signature sound of piano keys tapping away. With how the place looked like a stage, I must’ve been in the intro segment of Family Guy. The part where they play the theme song. But as I turned, it wasn’t Lois Griffin playing the piano. It was a familiar face, and they began to sing in a gruff voice to the background music.
“It seems to today, that all you see, is violence in movies; AND THAT’S ALL FROM ME!!!”
The piano was tossed from its place and in my direction! I quickly dodged it as it struck the ground just next to me with a thunderous thud, shattering into a billion itty bitty pieces. “What kind of inhuman monster could possess such strength?” I thought.
It was The Boss.
He sauntered his way down the steps, and every inch of my body tensed and got my legs a running once more. Even though he was not armed from what it lookef like, I wasn’t gonna mess with a dude who throws pianos.
“What do you want from me?!” I yelled while looking back at him while running, but he proceeded to suddenly teleport next to me and made me flinch of fear. I scampared all the way to what looked like a doorway, only to find out that there was no floor! If this was a looney tunes cartoon, I would’ve walked in the air comically before noticing and falling by a delayed time period, but gravity was not up for jokes. I fell straight down and could see I was falling through the sky, and through the clouds, I could see it.
I was entering the world of Family Guy.
Crashing through the roof of the Griffin family household, I surprisingly took no damage, not even winding up in the iconic Peter Griffin falling down the stairs pose. As I got up, I heard a shrill sound.
“Ma its some kind of UFO! It crashed through the ceiling” said Chris Griffin.“Now how could- OH MY GOODNESS! It’s an alien! They look so crusty and hyper realistic!” screamed Lois, pointing at me in disbelief.
Having had witnessed cartoon families turning dark and evil twice now, I couldn’t waste any time finding cover before they could enact some kind of evil scheme. I ran into the dining room and leaped onto the table, before grabbing the ceiling chandelier. I spun around on it and dropkicked Lois in self defense. Suddenly I heard a voice from upstairs.
“What’s goin on? I got a gun and I’m not a fraid to use it!” Peter Griffin said, as he trotted down the steps and began to load the gun with malicious intent. Hearing such words, I had no idea if a cartoon gun would hurt me, but i was in no mood to find out. I bolted into the neary cupbburd and hid.
Peter Griffern laughed. “Neheheheh, come out come out wherever you are…”. He didn’t even ask Lois is she was ok. This must’ve been one of the later season episodes.
But all of a sudden, there was a knock at the door. Peter Griffin answered, and modestly opened it.
“Oh my god, is that The Boss?” he said
“Hehe. You’re right.” The Boss said. “Say, this reminds me of the time I crucified you and your entire family among the smoldering embers.”
“H-huh?” Peter said
I was then transported to a horrific cutaway gag scene where amidst a red sky and charred ground, the entire Griffin family were crucified and weeping in agony.
Finding myself crouched behind a rock, I shivered in fear so much that my bones were rattling like dice in the hands of a a seizuring casino player. The Boss turned his head and said to me “And as for YOU” in a very menacing tone. I jumped up and skedadled in no given direction, just as long as I ran out of there. The Boss had a different face from before, one that was more terrifying with evil eyebrows and glowing red eyes that seemed to look straight into your soul.
I dashed through the horrific sight, gaining awarness of my surroundings, seeing the one blue and vibrant place of Quahog be reduced to charred nothingness. But, amidst the barren wasteland, I could see a very distinct landmark from the show. The Drunken Clam! It was my only place that I could hide in.
As I quickly opened the front doors and slammed them behind me, a voice cried out from in the distance. Who could it be, but none other than the iconic sound of Cleveland Brown?! He spoked to me, said “Over here!” and I leaned over in curiosity. He showed me a hiding spot. It was his, behind the place in the bar where they serve drinks.
Tucked behind the counter of the bar, I stayed perfectly still and crouched next to Cleveland while The Boss, from what I heard, didn’t even bother to open the glass doors. A loud SHATTER resounded as it was clear he broke the glass into itty bitty bits.
“Come on, make this entertaining for me. We aren’t finished JUST yet buddy!” The Boss yelled. “After all, what good is it for the people watching? The audience needs more brutality!”
“Take this you jar headed brute!” Cleveland yelled as he lunged over the counter with a bottle of beer and smashed it over The Boss’s head, but he was so strong, it did nothing. He just grabbed Cleveland by the shirt with his one arm, raised him up, and threw him through the roof of the building! Cleveland was launched into the sky, turning into a fireball that evaporated befofe my very eyes! It was so horrid! That guy had his own show and everything!
As I was looking up through the hole in the roof above me, my eyes gazed upon a sight that would be the key to my escape. This world that I found myself in was not of its own make. Instead of the clouds, there was none, and instead of the sky, it was like looking straight through a screen. Because I was looking through a big screen to the outside world.
“It can’t be.” I thought to myself. And then I looked closer. My bloodied handprint was marked on the screen, and from what else I saw, it was that place that i died at. Unbelievable! But this made me realize something that may have saved my life. If this show was just fake, and that The Boss could operate under its rules, perhaps I could too.
The Boss lifted up the entire counter with his strong arms, but as he looked down at me, I quickly blurted out the words “Wow, this almost reminds me of the time you were about to be hit by a tractor!” I yelled, and a huge sheet of paper slapped over between me and The Boss. On the other side I could only assume was the cutaway gag, as the engine of a loud tractor sounded off. The power of cutaway gags was on my side!
I ran a distance before hearing the sound of the tractor crumple and bend like it was a tin can. Breaking through the paper, The Boss held the remains of the tractors tire in his hands, his face looking mad as the devil himself! I quickly began to exclaim more cutaways.
“This reminds me of when you were out at sea!”
“This reminds me of when you went to yale university!”
“This reminds me of when you crashed into a mail truck!”
Over and over, the cutaways layered on top of them selves, walling The Boss away from me and giving me time to sprint. But he was very mad, and despite my best efforts to slow him down, he kept breaking through faster and faster!
“I may be in the show with you now, but don’t think I’ll follow the rules! It’s your time to die!” he said
Using my quick wits, I looked at the surrounding environment and found a forlorn airport. There was a lot of planes parked on the runway and so I hurridely scamperinoed into one and pressed the fly button. The plane took off, and The Boss was literally already on its tail. He climbed on the roof and broke through, and so I grabbed my parachute conveniently next to me and jump out through the hole he just made as the air launched me out. I looked down as I was in midair and saw that The Boss had grabbed my leg!
“You're not getting away you little punk!” he screamed as the wind around us was blasting.
However, his grasp was soon relinguished when a mighty force seemingly manifested out of nowhere, flying down and hitting The Boss on the head hard enough with a club for him to let go and be send falling back into the plane. As the air forced me out into the sky, I saw him. My savior.
It was Bam Bam once more?
The titanic stone age infant grabbed me as well and hurled me high into the sky at such a velosity that my parachute fell off. Having no time to realize what was going on, I couldn’t stop flying up, and I saw the plane quickly plummet to the ground and explode.
As I kept soaring, I reached the hole that Cleveland’s body had made in the sky, covered with smoke and charred gore. I grabbed onto the edge and flung myself out, but to my quick disappointment, I wasn’t outside of the screen. I was in some space between the Family Guy show and the screen of the computer it was on. This was the computer desktop.
Walking around on the desktop, behind me was the place I emerged from. The Family Guy World, or what was shown to me, was an MOV file being played on a windows media player only at half screen. It was called FAMILY DIE instead. But also next to me was various bottom tabs that had yet to me opened. I tapped them and to my surprise they worked like a mouse click. It is when I tapped the tab labled as “notepad” did I see something truly insidious.
[OPERATION PYRAMID SCHEME]
“LIST OF ENTERTAINMENT EXAORDINAIRES THAT NEED TO BE TAKEN TO MY TORTURE DUNGEON AND KILLED AND BE REPLACED WITH A BODY DOUBLE”
No. 92 - Joseph Barbera [The Flintstones Creator] (EXECUTED)
No. 93 - Matt Groening [The Simpsons Creator] (EXECUTED)
No. 94 - Seth McFarlaine [Family Guy Creator] (pending…)
There were countless more on the list. Chuck Jones. Rebecca Sugar. Jim Davis. Was this perhaps some kind of planned assasination of cartoon makers?
It was so bizarre and scary! Was this what The Boss was planning? If they had went after beloved cartoon producers, what would it accomplish? These thoughts went through my head just as I heard the sound
With a loud THUD a huge footstep smashed into the ground. It was of course, The Boss, here to claim my soul. Shivers ran up my back and my teeth chitter chattered a mile a minute. I was very sure that this was the end of me, but to my surprise, The Boss began to conveniently monologue.
“So you found it. That sure is a mighty surprise. Maybe I shoulda been more careful. Let me explain something to you while you’re here. It’s not like you’re going anywhere. That little list you saw is my Kill List. Of course as I mentioned, I plan to take over the entertainment industry, so I gotta shoot for the stars. Knock down a few pegs. Some folks had the courtesy of meeting me in my base of operations, just like you. And wouldn’t ya know it, YOU get to guest star in my new horrifying demented reaction videos! Doesn’t that sound great?”
I began to open my mouth.
“Don’t answer that.” he said.
“Either ways, you have overstepped your boundaries. I simply just put your soul inside that MOV file for one thing and one thing only. That is, to entertain the audience for my next videos. So, if it isn’t any trouble…”
With the snap of his fingers, The Boss teleported me back to the Family Guy MOV file video I was in before, but this time I was tied up to railroad tracks in the middle of once was in Quahog, still burning like the fires of Hell. I screamed and shouted, and my eyes buldged out of my head when I saw a the uh train heading to my direction on the tracks. Most frifhteningly of all, it had a huge skull of Brine Griffern on the front, and in its nose it had a huge buzzsaw waiting to cut me in half!
The Boss levitated next to me, triumphantly laughing maniacly, his teeth turning sharp like razor blades and his voice turning deep and monstrous. Just when it seemed I was in for some painful business, the skies above me turned gray, and clouds formed overhead. Was this a signal to my grim demise? Or was it the forthcoming of a miracle?
Bam Bam descended from the sky, his white hair flowing in the wind, his shoulders dining a pair of white angel wings, and most surprisingly, a halo around his head. Thunder and lightning began to roll in, and soon began downpour.
“Is this rain?” The Boss said
“It’s a storm.” Bam Bam replied
In an instant, Bam Bam telepathically lifted hundreds of boulders from the ground and began to rapidly pelt The Boss with a fury of over a thousand punches. He was fighting like a true Super Sayan from Dragon Ball Z. Ever determined Bam Bam pulled another trick from his sleeve and began to summon the spirits of all of the dead Family guy characters from before. Lois, Chris, Brian, and even Peter all joined forces as a family and began to restrain The Boss’s arms and legs. From the grave also came Stewie’s ghost, which had an evil malicious looking smile and evil looking eyes, much like the uncanny gaze of Jeff the Killer Stewie leaped foreward and bit the top of The Boss’s face head with sharp teeth as he yelled in anger. For the first time in ever, even though The Boss was relentless, he began to stagger as more and more boulders slammed into him, and was soon subdued when a massive part of the group was uprooted and slammed down upon him.
Seemingly defeated, The Boss made no attempt to rise as Bam Bam fluttered down beside me and magically cut the ropes tying me up. I stood up and thanked hin, shaking his hand excitedly. I asked him what I could do to repay him, but Bam Bam spoke again. “You don’t need to do anything. I’ve done all I can to protect you”. However, his voice I noticed all this time was muffled and his mouth wasn’t moving. Although he was “Bam Bam”, he was much larger than what the character was size wise. He was even bulkier. Almost like he was…a costume! That’s it! That’s when I realized. But, in order to know who was speaking under that muffled costume head, I asked “Bam Bam” to take his head off. I was shocked.
Bam Bam was Joseph Barbera in a suit the entire time?!?!?!?!
I was so confused. “B-but h-how is this possible?” I sputtered. Joeseph spoke.
“Listen, this is going to sound very bizarre, but much like how he trapped you in this video file, he trapped me in all of those tapes, and in here. He not only wanted to kill competition, but to make them suffer in the media of their own making. The Boss is a very cruel man, but a very busy one too. He lost track of me, so I hid in this costume and did everything I could to protect you.”
Joseph put his hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him. “Oh my god, but, why would you want to protect me? I’m just a nobody. You don’t even know me.” I said.
“On the contrary, you don’t know this because you never got the chance to find out, but I, Joseph Barbera, am your long lost uncle.”
“WAHT??????????” I yelled.
“Listen, there’s no time to explain. Here, take these.”
He pulled off the angel wings on his costume and wrapped them around my shoulders. “Here in the cartoon world, things run on cartoon logic. Hurry my child, fly! Fly far away from this wretched place!”
My cartoon prop angel wings flapped up and down at my command, and I was graced with the ability of flight. Yes! I could finally fly out of this place and hopefully, reach the screen sealing me in this computer away from the rest of the world. But, dear viewer, that is NOT exactly how things turned out for me.
A red glow came from the pile of rocks behind Joeseph, and with a BANG they exploded violently into smaller, tinier rocks. With the snap of his fingers, The Boss made the lightning disappear like a magic trick, as skeletal arms burst from the ground and dragged the souls of the Family Guy cast into the ground, presumably to Hell.
“It’s actually funny” he said, “That you’d think I’d let you GET THE UPPER HAND!” as he reached out his arm and grabbed Joseph by the neck, gripping him tightly and strangling him. Both of The Boss’s hands began to burn a bright orange flame, as his eyes glowed redder than ever. He laughed maniacly with a wicked toothy grin as Joseph screamed in agony.
“You thought you could really fool me? I am God after all, that I am! I was just waiting for you to let your guard down so I could kill you! It’s foolish to think I am tied down by the laws of this world. I made it, and I made you! Everybody, and everything! So now, time to be reduced, and unmade!”
The Boss shouted each word of this as he slowly brought his other palm closer to Joeseph, coated in fire. He grabbed his face, setting it ablaze as he screamed and burning away every last bit of flesh and bone until it was ash and dust. However, I was already on my way to fly away, as it was too late to save this man. The man that I thought was Bam Bam and protected me all this time was actually a long lost relative. Well uh, that’s life I ‘spose!
I flew away as fast as I could, exiting the sky and flying out of the hole that still remained in it. Finally, I had reached the beyond, and with one big mighty fist punch, I broke the computer screen that contained me. I made it out the other side, back as normal. Back to my normal size, and back to flesh and blood. I was free. I then walked over to the computer I was in and sent the email I mentioned earlier to my email address to serve as a cool prologue for this story. Cool, isn’t it?
“HOLD ON A MINUTE. DAMN IT !!!” I heard The Boss scream from inside the computer. Suddenly he appeared in front of me, his hands still emitting smoke. “This ain’t how it’s supposed to go, y’know. I can’t believe I let you escape like that I mean like, I’m omnipresent. I really shoulda seen it coming. But I guess right now its pointless to start over since that whole ordeal went off script. My camera and editing crew could always re-edit the footage, but that takes time and well, screw it.”
“Does this mean I get to skedaddle on out of here?” I said to him. The Boss’s face was disgruntled. He stood their awkwardly for several momnents.
“Like hell you are! We’re off camera, so I don’t gotta play by my rules no more!” he shouted, before stancing himself up and charging. The chase had started anew!
In an instant I began to gather my surroundings from where I left off. I saw the blood trail I left behind before my death and knew to follow in the opposite direction. Running down an adjacent hallway, the ceiling lights grew sparser as the grayness began to lighten up. I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was the exit to the building!
I ran past a bunch of other supplies. This part of the building looked like a storage area, but there was some computers laying around. The Boss was still in hot pursuit, as he stopped in his tracks and held out his hand at one of the monitors. “Go my Smile Dog!” he yelled and wouldn’t you know it, Smile Dog emerged from a computer screen right in front of me. blocking my path.
“Hey there. Nice doggy” I said worridly and tried slowly moving back.
“No use in escaping, now get over there and throw that dog a bone, stupid!” The Boss yelled, angry and impatient that I wasn’t in Smile Dog’is sharp teeth. His anger just about saved me, as in an effort to push me to Smile Dog with a flying kung fu kick like they do in those jackie chan movies, I swiftly dodged and sent The Boss’s left foot square into Smile Dog’s chest, knocking him back with tremendous force and breaking the exit door open!
I used the space between me and The Boss to expertly slink past him and the exit, finding myself running across a mostly empty parkinglot. He stayed right on my tail trying to make side swings to hit my head, as I kept outrunning his even pace. Each time one strike missed, they hit the building wall next to me and shattered them. Those walls were made of concrete or something, and he broke them, just like that. If he got even his hands on me, I’d be absolutely toast!
Sliding underneath his wild arms, I evaded The Boss by juking him and running in a zig zag motion. However, he began to get the better of me when he kept teleporting in my way, making me very close to tripping. However, in the pinch, I put some distance and clammoreddieorded into a car. I started the ignition and began to back up and saw The Boss’s face more angrier than beforer.
Just then, The Smile Dog got up, barked, and leaped straight through the windshield! I slammed the berake and began to spun out, but the car suddenly stopped. The Boss grabbed the back of it to keep it from moving. “No!!! What are you doing!! That’s my car! My favorite one! I had it put here for convenience and everything” he yelled, really mad this time. He then appeared at the front of it to grab Smile Dog and throw him away. He proceeded to curbstomp Smile Dog and cause him to evaporate into a red mist. I also quickly got out of the car too, ready to be chased again.
Seething with bloodshot eyes (which were also hyper realistic) The Boss roundhouse spinkicked the car in my general direction. He missed, but the explosion was close enough to knock me off my feet. As flames surrounded the both of us and shards of metal blew in the wind, The Boss stared down at me, an evil red aura increasing around him, like he was powering up some sort of malicious energy.
It then stopped.
“Just beat it” he said, and let out a sigh. He threw up his hands and the fire around us disappeared.
“Y’know, I might be God and can live forever and stuff, but that doesn’t mean we don’t got mid life crisises of our own” he said as he crossed his arms and furrowed his brow just as I began to turn and leave “What do you mean?” I said, “Is that why you did all of this? Just to have something to do?”
“Well thats part of it. I mainly just want to scam people and cash in on the newest trend in the evilest and scummiest way I know, but its clear that this project might be a waste of time and resources” he said.
After everything I saw, and after everything I’ve been through, it would be wrong to not leave The Boss with some strong final words, only in case he ever decided to come back and kidnap me again for his evil plans. If he remained unhappy, he might try to go through with taking over the cartoon industry. And as a goodie-two-shoes toon fan, I could not just let this slide.
“Y’know uh, The Boss, while you are spooky and scary individual, would it not be cool to dedicate your efforts and your editing team to something else?” I said.
“What does that mean?” The Boss responded.
“Well you clearly put alot of effort into this whole plan, and with how you were chasing me back there, you were pretty cool. Although its not just what you put in yourself. Those evil versions of Flintstones and Simpsons were pretty disturbing, in a good way” I said, trying to appeal to his ego. He seemed to agree.
I continued on. “Perhaps, maybe, instead of hunting down and killing people, cuz that just wastes more time, why don’t you hire actors?”
“Hire…actors…” The Boss said perplexed.
“Yeah. Just like how they do in TV shows. That could be a good change.”
“Hmm. Well I’d sooner relinquish a fraction of my immeasurable godly powers than bother to produce a TV show, but the idea of hiring no-name actors to kill them instead of kidnapping celebrities does sound tempting. Sure would keep the shadow government from annoying me. After all its why I employed the FBI. Gotta know higher ups to fight higher ups.”
“Would keep the WHUHHH??” I said
“Don’t worry ‘bout that. Maybe Project Pyramid Scheme was a bust. Or maybe it wasn’t. The point is I’m honestly pretty bored of creepypastas. They went outta style years ago. If there’s one thing I can thank a mortal for is for having the ability to survive against me this long.”
The Boss laughed, but then pointed at me directly. “But just don’t come back, or I’ll kill you when I catch you next time”. With that I figured it was my cue to walk away.
I started to feel at ease, but wondered where I was in order to get back to my home. As I walked away and pulled out my phone to call an uber. When it arrived by the road, I jumped inside and to my surprise, The Boss was there as my driver!
“Now listen, I’ll take you to your house, but just before I do, here my business card. If you ever want to get new info about any of my future movies, you’ll be part of my test screening audience. It’s optional. Just now I came up with a bunch of fun scenarios that I think people will like. Or at least, they better.”
I was about to shout “Why would I want anything to do with you after you tried to KILL ME” at him, but I was too intimidated and just took the card.
I looked down at the card to read it, and it was signed with a name. But, it was too smudged and made of of weird symbols to make out. Like it was written by some lovecraftian horror.
“Ah. My mistake. I forgot to write my name in english. You’re not accustomed to this kind of stuff.” he said once he noticed the writing.
“What should I call you then?” I said
“The name’s Dale Johnson. We’re done here.”
With in instant, he snapped his fingers and I miraculously appeared back at home in my couch in front of my TV.
Finally, after so much stress, so much anxiety, and so much terror, I was back at my place. The sun was bright. It was a beautiful day. With chirping birds and the fresh smell of grass outside, everything looked just as it should. Nothing felt fake. There was no more illusion. I pinched myself several times to make sure, but just to be extra sure…
I immediately gathered all of my flintstones, simpsons, and family guy merch in my bedroom and hauled them out in boxes on my front porch. I lit a match and proceeded to burn every last plushie, doll, DVD, and memorabilia. I closed my eyes and waited, WAITED for something to happen…
..and it didn’t.
I jumped up and yelled “HALLELUYAH” and danced in the street. The neighbors must’ve thought I was crazy, but i didn’t care.
This had surely been a creepy pasta.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Unnecessary Sequels
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG