What's with these homies dissin' my girl?

What's with these homies dissin' my girl? That's the question I've gotta ask. Seriously, why do they gotta front? It's not like my girl ever did anything to these homies. What did we ever do to these guys that made them so violent?
== The dissing incident ==
The dissing incident occured last Saturday in a grocery store, when a group of homies approached us while I was retrieving a frozen pizza. They then laughed at her and made various cat calls, many of them mysoginistic in nature. I approached a store employee and described to him the homies that dissed my girl, but when he approached the homies and asked them if they dissed my girl, they fronted and said they didn't. It should be noted that the dissing preceded the fronting, and not the other way around.
== These homies ==
These homies are the ones that are dissing my girl. For reasons unknown, they feel a need to front, causing tension between them and me. This tension is complicated by my lack of action that could possibly make these homies want to diss my girl or any of her close friends or relatives. As a matter of fact, prior to dissing my girl, they had no personal or social acquaintance with anybody close to me or my girl. So I don't know why these homies dissed my girl. I don't have a clue as to why they gotta front, or why they are so violent towards me and my girl in particular. Perhaps these homies just have a confrontational nature, or they may have deep-seated insecurities that cause them to lash out and pick on the weak. Another possible reason is the fact that I look just like Buddy Holly, whose thick glasses, curly hair, and overall Jewish appearance make him a perennial nerd, and my nerdy demeanor is causing them to diss my girl in jest.
== My girl ==
My girl is the "diss victim" of these homies, so to speak, and she bears a striking resemblance to Mary Tyler Moore. She, like me, is completely clueless about the motives of the homies that dissed her, and she did nothing to make them violent. I don't believe she deserved to be dissed by these homies, and she hasn't been the same ever since. Her tongue is twisted, her eyes are slit, and she needs a guardian. She needs help, but I know she needs help, woo-hoo, and she knows that I'm hers, woo-hoo, and I know that she's mine, woo-hoo, and that's for all time.
== Me ==
I am the third party in the dissing incident, and, as I have previously stated, I am virtually identical in appearance to Buddy Holly. When these homies dissed my girl, I was completely uninvolved, although I am almost certain I had something to do with it. There is a possibility that these homies were jealous of me, due to the fact that I have a girlfriend and they don't, and their jealousy made them angry, causing them to diss my girl, and then to front. It then came to my attention that our relationship may be under fire due to this jealousy, which could be shared by others, and more homies may diss my girl in an attempt to break us up.
== I don't care what they say about us anyway ==
No, I don't care about that.
Category:Relationships
Category:Vexing Scientific Conundrums
Category:Articles written in the first person