Brain Sees Stars/Transcript

A rocket prepares to lift off.
Mission Control: Three... Two... One... Zero. Ignition. Lift off.
Brain, Buster and Arthur sit in the command module.
Brain: Do you know what I love about astrophysics - the study of how planets and stuff move through space?
Buster: Hey! What's this button for?
He tries to press it, but Brain stops him.
Brain: You can predict exactly what they'll do.
The rocket’s tip falls off and the command module flies on alone. Brain points to a computer screen showing planetary orbits.
Brain: Earth and Mars circle the sun in predictable patterns called orbits, so even though they're travelling at about 50,000 miles an hour and are millions of miles apart, our rocket won't get lost.
The command module docks onto larger spaceship. Buster eats a bowl of peas in zero gravity. Some float away.
Buster: Hey! Come back, peas!
Brain: All we have to do is aim for where Mars will be when we get there, eight months from now.    
He floats after Buster and eats the peas.
Arthur: Eight months?!
Buster: What are we going to do on this tiny ship for eight months?     
Brain gets a chess board.
Brain: Chess.      
Arthur and Buster look disappointed.
~~~
Eight months later, the ship approaches Mars. Brain aims the ship.
Brain: You see? It's eight months later and we're right on target.
Arthur and Buster play chess in the seats beside him.
Arthur: And... checkmate. That's 3100 games to 3099.
Buster: You cheated! You moved your king while I was out spacewalking.
Arthur: Oh, yeah?! When I get this seatbelt off, I'm gonna spacewalk all over you!
They start wrestling and float through the ship.
Brain: Don't you love how you can rely on science?  Whoa!
Arthur and Buster float against a lever and alarms blare.
Brain: If only people were the same way!       
The ship teeters past Mars.
~~~
Title Card: Brain comes downstairs
~~~
Brain’s radio clock shows 6:30. Brain lies in bed.
Announcer (on radio): And that was Bach's Violin Concerto No.1 in A minor. For all you amateur astronomers out there, you can watch the Carlsaganids meteor shower tonight at approximately 8:14 pm.
Brain turns off the radio and walks over to his desk. He looks at the calendar where May 15th is marked with a circle.
Brain: This time, nothing will stop me.       
He looks at his camera with a giant telephoto lens.
~~~
Brain walks into the kitchen and takes a sandwich. His mom is reading the newspaper.
Mrs. Powers: Don't forget, Alan. I need your help tonight with that big ice-cream order for Crosswire Motors.
Brain: Way ahead of you, Mom. Tonight's the big meteor shower, so I asked Arthur if he'd sub for me. The curse won't get me this time!        
He walks out.
Mrs. Powers: That's fine, dear.     The curse?? What curse?
~~~
Brain sits in the school cafeteria with Buster.
Brain: Every time I try to see a meteor shower, something happens and I miss it. I missed the Perseids...
Flashback: Brain comes downstairs with his camera and a folding chair.
Mrs. Powers: Alan, look who showed up for a surprise visit - Grandma!    
Brain: (sighs)        
He returns the camera.
Flashback: Brain and his mom work late in the ice-cream shop.
Brain (narrator): I missed the Draconids...
Mrs. Powers: Thanks for helping me clean up. Now go see your meteor shower. Everything here is under control.
A tube on the ice-cream machine rips, spraying fluid ice-cream everywhere.
Brain: (sighs)       
He puts the camera down.
Flashback: Brain leaves the house with his camera on a winter’s evening. He notices Mrs. Crosswire, who’s limousine has a flat tire.
Brain (narrator): ...and I missed the Quadrantids.
Mr. Crosswire: (nervous chuckle)   This is kind of embarrassing, but... would you know how to change a tire?  Hoo.
Brain: (sighs)
The flashbacks end.
Buster: Wow. You really are cursed. Want my lucky corn muffin?     
He drops a muffin on the table. It sounds like a solid rock.
Brain: Thanks, but I'm prepared this year. I spent weeks mapping out solutions to everything that could go wrong.
Flashback: Brain works at his desk.
Brain: I did all my homework ahead of time…
Flashback: Brain packs up musical instruments.
Brain: …I finished up all my chores for the school band and the computer club...
Flashback: Brain serves Arthur a sundae at the ice-cream shop.
Brain: …and I got Arthur to agree to help out in my mom's ice-cream shop, out of the kindness of his heart.       
Arthur and Brain shake hands.
The flashbacks end.
Brain: This time, my plans are foolproof.
Arthur joins them.
Brain: (coughs)  Is it me, or is it really hot in here?   (coughs)
Brain: No, you're sick!
Arthur: Don't worry, Brain.  (sniffles) I can definitely still sub for you toni... (coughs)
Brain+Buster: The curse.
Buster: Your sub is gonna need a sub.
Brain: Oh...   Where can I find someone who loves ice-cream enough to spend a whole evening in my mom's shop?
Buster: I'm available.     
He flashes his eyelids at Brain.
Brain: Where can I find someone responsible who loves...?
Buster: Aw, come on, Brain. I already have a list of innovations in my head. What do you think your mom would say to a hot fudge Sloppy Joe?
Brain: I'd say that I'm probably gonna regret this, but you're hired.    
They shake hands and Brain leaves.
Buster: And don't worry! It's not like I'm going to catch what Arthur has. Oh, beans.       
He takes a bean off Arthur’s plate.
~~~
The school bell rings at 3:30 and the kids leave the classroom. Mr. Ratburn stops Brain.
Mr. Ratburn: Alan, about the paper you handed in early...
Brain: Is there something wrong with it?
Mr. Ratburn: Oh, no. It's excellent. I was wondering if you'd read it aloud at the open house for incoming students tonight.
Brain: Tonight?! But tonight is...
Mr. Ratburn: I really think it will inspire the next generation.
Brain: I really appreciate that, but...     
He stops Fern.     
Brain: Fern's the real author in our class! I'll bet she's written something even better. Could you let her read at tonight's open house instead?
Fern: The open house for incoming students? Tonight? But I'm only on my sixth draft.
Mr. Ratburn: Well, I'd have to see her paper.
Brain: We'll get it to you soon.     He pushes Fern out of the door.
~~~
 
Shortly afterwards, Brain and Fern stand at Brain’s locker.
Fern: But I have a process. Writing is like preparing a stew. You have to stir the ingredients and let them marinade in the juices.
Brain: What's more important, Fern: Cooking a meal or inspiring the next generation? What if I take a look at it before you hand it in? Every writer needs a good editor.
Fern: Okay. It's a deal.      
She hands Brain her manuscript and leaves. Buster walks up to Brain.
Buster: I saw it all, you genius. Brain, I think you're finally going to beat...    
Francine walks by.
Francine: Oh, hey! Coach just posted the new schedule, and guess whose turn it is to clean the equipment after soccer practice?      
Brain and Buster exchange looks.
Brain+Buster: The curse.       
Buster hands Brain his lucky muffin.
~~~
During soccer practice, Brain sits on a ball and works on Fern’s manuscript while the other kids play around him.
Francine: Heads up! I know it's just practice, but could you focus?
Brain: I am focusing. What's another word for "cat-like"? I've got it! Feline.
Francine: Can't you help out on the field?         
Brain: Can't you take over washing the equipment for me after practice?     
Francine stops with the ball and catches her breath.
Francine: Told you... Muffy's dad... hosting a drive-in movie. Promised Muffy I'd help sell treats. Argh!    
She runs from Buster and Binky. Mr. Crosswire blows the whistle.
Mr. Crosswire: And time! Great practice, everyone!
The other kids bring drinks and equipment to Brain.
Brain: Practice is over already? I'm only on page two!       
Francine passes him a ball and he drops the manuscript.     
Brain: (sighs)
~~~
Brain and Fern stand in front of Mr. Ratburn’s desk while he reads the manuscript.
Mr. Ratburn: Hmm. I'm quite impressed. Okay, Fern, you're on. Alan, you can go.
Brain: Thanks, Fern. I don't know where I'd be without your lyrical style.
Fern: Lyrical? What do you mean, lyrical? 
Brain: Just that it's very, um, descriptive. 
Fern: You're saying I use too many adjectives, aren't you? I knew it! I'm starting over.
Brain: What?! No, it's perfect.       
Mr. Ratburn holds the manuscript out to him.     
Brain: (sighs)
~~~
Later, Brain reads his manuscript to a group of preschoolers (Cheikh, Bud, Amanda and Emily) and their parents.
Brain: "And so the first astronauts on the moon learned that craters are formed by the impact of meteorites, stones drawn to us by gravity from the far reaches of space and our imagination."    
He is about to leave.
Amanda’s father: So, er, what's a meteorite again?
Brain: (sighs)
~~~
Brain runs to the ice-cream shop where he meets Buster.
Brain: Buster, perfect timing. I'll run in and get my gear and you can put on an apron and help my mom.
Buster: Hey... (coughs)   Is it hot out here, or is it just me?
~~~
Shortly afterwards, Brain helps his mom unpack raw materials in the shop. Buster sits at a table with a reddened nose.
Buster: I don't know why you're still here, Brain.   (coughs)   I'm fine. I have this...    
He coughs on two packets.    
Buster: …covered.     
Brain throws the two packets in the trash.
Brain: Covered in germs! It's the curse.
Mrs. Powers: It's not a curse, Alan. You're just delayed because you're being so nice and helpful. Now run. I can handle the rest myself.       
Brain grabs his camera and runs out.
Buster: You want me to put these strawberries in the freezer, Mrs. P.?    (sneezes on them)     
Mrs. Powers dumps the strawberries in the trash.
Mrs. Powers: Out!
~~~
It is getting dark when Brain comes to an intersection. He waits for the green light.
Old Lady: Would you help me cross the street?          
Brain checks his watch and smiles.
Brain helps the old lady who walks with a rollator. She takes out her purse.
Brain: Really, it's fine. You don't have to tip me.
Old Lady: Oh, I insist.        
She rummages in her purse.
Brain: (sighs)
~~~
On a clearing, several people are gathered with telescopes.
Mr. Haney: The best time to see most meteor showers is late at night when it's dark. But the Carlsaganids happen early in the evening, and this year, there's only a thin crescent moon so we'll get a great view much earlier.
Brain arrives.
Brain: 8 pm. I can't believe I made it! I'm away from the city lights for better viewing, with my camera, green tea and...     
A bright light suddenly obscures the stars.      
Brain: What in the name of Copernicus?
Brain walks through the bushes and comes to another clearing, where people have set up an open air movie theater. Arthur and Buster run up to Brain.
Arthur: Hey, Brain. Welcome to Muffy's dad's drive-in movie. I told you I'd get better soon.
Buster: Me too. I'm... (coughs) ...the picture of health. How come you're not watching the meteor shower?
Brain: It's too bright.
Arthur: Want some ice cream?
Buster: How about some… (coughs) …popcorn?
Brain: Nooo! That's it. I give up! The only thing I can count on in this world is that I'm cursed to never, ever see a meteor shower in person.       
He walks away, as Francine walks up to them.
Mr. Crosswire: Welcome to Crosswire Motors' temporary drive-in theatre. Enjoy the film, ‘Douglas the Talking Dunebuggy’.     
The movie starts. The kids see Brain sitting in the grass looking sad.
Arthur: Boy, Brain looks so sad.
Buster: (sniffs)  He tried so hard, but the curse got him. I wish there was something we could do.
Arthur: Maybe there is.      
He pulls Buster with him. Arthur, Buster and Francine walk up to Mr. Crosswire.
Arthur: (whispers)       
Mr. Crosswire nods and turns off the projector.
Ladonna: Hey! Where'd the movie go?
Mr. Crosswire: Er, technical difficulties, everyone. But in the meantime, look up!
The meteors fly across the sky.
Audience: Ooh!
Brain: Wow, The Carlsaganids!         
Several third-graders sit with Brain.
Kids: Wow...
Brain: See, Brain, there is something else you can count on... us.
Category:Transcripts
Category:Season 19 transcripts
Category:2016