nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Totally Torah: Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers.

==Exodus ==
 
•	Israelites take leisurely Egyptian break despite incomplete pyramid resort.
•	Pharaoh adopts strict one-child-policy.
•	Dingo-abducted baby mysteriously found in River Nile.
•	Moses shoots passer-by in mall-rampage.
 
•	Hides out at desert safe-house.
•	Crack-binge causes hallucinations of burning bushes and land flowing with milk and honey.
 
 
•	Pharaoh rejects unionised labour on new pyramid project.
•	Moses becomes shop-steward, begins campaign of direct action.
•	Union-violence condemned following death of Egyptian first-born. 
•	Israelites flee.
•	Egyptian army fail to learn lessons from life-guard training.
•	Israelites enjoy protracted team-building exercise in Sinai Desert.
•	God gives Israelites deeds to Canaan along with 10-point instruction manual.
•	Israelites take unhealthy interest in Livestock.
•	Angry God placated with ornate gift box in which to keep His handicrafts.
==Leviticus.==
•	Protracted negotiations on lease of Canaan.
•	Aaron and sons anointed priests. Sons die after playing with matches.
•	Don’t eat pigs; oysters dodgy; best avoid vultures.
•	No incest, not even between steprelatives, and, at all costs, NO being gay!!!!
==Numbers==
•	Israelites back out of attack on Canaanites, opting for a forty year camping trip in Sinai.
•	Bored, angry God sends plague, seems surprised when people lose faith.
•	Moses’ conjuring tricks distract the unfaithful.
 
•	Conquest of Canaan proves to be little more than talking out of Balaam's ass.
•	Local hookers induce Israelite men into playing Baal. 
•	Coup d'etat places Joshua at head of military junta.
== Bonus Track.==	
Deuteronomy Doo-wop.
==See Also==
Totally Torah: Genesis
Category: Theology
Category: Judaism
Category: Mythology
Category: Egypt
Category: Moses
Category: Bible
Toucan

Toucans are tropical savvy birds of prey from South America, closely related to sharks and scoundrels. They are extremelly well-groomed and have enormous inflatable egos which serve them well as salesbirds for fruity breakfast cereals. 
Like most sharks, toucans are privatizationivorous (state-eating), but will take insects and other small prey, as well as larger prey, such as kraken and gullible people. They are neoliberal and nest in luxury triplex penthouse apartments or posh mansions. And tend to "drop the bomb" on unwary tourists. 
The name of this bird group is derived from Sanskrit tzu-kan, meaning "good of beak" or "suspension of disbelief".
==Species list==
* Aulacorhynchus
** Emerald Toucanet, Jeraldus Alceminus
** Crimson-rumped Toucanet, Iosephus Serranus
** Reforestated-Head Toucanet, Albarus Diarius
* Pteroglossus
** Lettered Aracari, Phernandus Enricus Inscriptus or Principius Sociologismus
** Red-necked Aracari, Redactiones Vejamus
** Fiery-billed Aracari, Arcturus Vergilium
** Many-banded Aracari, Iduardis Azivederum
* Baillonius
** Brazilian Gullible, Baillonius bailloni
* Kellogus
** Toucan Sam, Kellogus Frootloopus
== Toucans in food ==
Due to the unusal growing and shipping situation in Camp_Fuck_You_Die, Louisiana, the Psychic Toucans have branched out from their traditionall mob-activities to food franchising.
Meny includes:
Grilled Unicorn
Triple-Thick Chocolate Justice Shake 
Tenctacle Stew
Zombie Pie (with geniune wriggly bits!)
candyed cheerios
and of course
Louisiana Fried Toucan
(the perfect retirement plan. Not a wasted month)
== Toucans in advertising ==
Toucans are believed to be very keen advertisers, being able to sell mostly anything.
[] [] []
In between their search for the magical fruit loop, toucans find time to paint their beaks at special beak painting parties. Beak painting artists at these fairs often paint toucans beaks as big cats. The traditional orange and yellow beak is formed because toucans are fucking bad painters.
== Controversy ==
Although well groomed and very polite at face value, toucans are notorious alcoholics.
In many of their campaigns, Guinness employed various toucans to model for signs and posters aimed at promoting their beverage and paid their employees with kegs of the stout.
It is because of this that many English and American people who have no relation to Irish people, now believe that toucans are a regular gift at anniversarys and baptisms within the Irish community.
==See Also==
*Shiny Cowbird
Category:Birds
eo:Tukano
pt:Ramphastidae‎
Touch typoing

for thosdr without comedic tastes, the so-called-experts at Wikipedia have an article about: Touch Typing.
Touch typoing is {typing idinh yhr sense of tpouch tather than sitht to fvind the keys. touch typinf places the eiht fingers in a hottizojtal row alonh the nmiddle of the keyboatrd abd has tyhem reach for the other keys. Mosy [computer]] keyboatd;s have a raised fot on eiher the F,T=H keys of the d>K heyd (or on yhr krus in the same position, for nonqwerty keyboards so that ttough0typists can feel when there fingertips a ovrt yhr correct pphome row.
The most common other fotm of 5tuping is £pphungq and pexk typing|hint and peck[[" ot (twp=ging45ed typing) which is slower than thouhc typjnh brcause, instead of tryping on the memoeizaed position of jeys, the ytpidy iy reqwired to tind each jey by sighy. many ideastbchratic syles en between those two exit - for emabple manyy people will rtpe blindly but using only teo yto five fingetd snf noy alwayd in a systematic way.
some od trhe suggested ways of imptoving rtyping speeds in youfh typoing are:
*ensuting a correct posyture
*to ecart only the correst amount of force and not banf on the jets
*taking refwauent breacj to relax and improve accufaxty
==see also--
([[matio reaches typing[[
*dorvak simplifies kelboard
*qwerty
[[[prppreeptopm|muscle memotrs]
*the typing of the dead]] )a unique hottor game based on typing
*]]typoin]]
*streotypng
= Extenal lnk ==
*[http//www.tyenline,co,uklesso2.html freed touh tyonf course]]
Category:Self-reference
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Touche Turtle

Touche Turtle (Douche Turd to his friends) is one of the best fencers in the world, as a matter of fact he can even put a fence up for you in one single day. Just call him on his turtle phone and he'll answer, but his pal Dum-Dum may not be that helpful.
==Early Years==
Touche Turtle began fencing while in Monaco around 1951. Touche basically did all the sword fighting by himself, but the people who tried to train Touche said that they could easily defeat him.
But this would change a year later when Dum-Dum, who's the uncle of Runt was walking down the street and he saw a sword-fighting turtle and asked Touche what he was doing. Touche said that he was fencing and Dum-Dum told him that he's seen a lot of fencing around the streets. Touche knew that Dum-Dum was talking about fences so he taught Dum-Dum how to do fencing. Touche did all the moves while Dum-Dum just stood there holding his sword.
==His Fencing Years==
Touche Turtle would fight against dragons, octopus, and even God since lightning can't stop Touche Turtle.
Touche and Dum-Dum would help many king and queens in Europe (though at the time, there were few), but Touche would save the princesses. However, it was Dum-Dum that got lucky since the princesses loved Dum-Dum. This got Touche a little upset, but in 1965 Touche got his lady and she was a turtle. They would marry in 1969 and have 100 children, one of them was named Shelby and he would be in a few Donald Duck cartoons, but Shelby's mom in those cartoons would be played by a different mom.
==The Ark Years==
Touche Turtle would be visited by Yogi Bear and his ark which had most of the Hanna-Barbera characters on there...well the ones that really matter. They would try and save the world by stopping pollution and all that, but this only happened for a year since the ark was too crowded and they tried to save Cleveland from another fire, but the ark burned instead.
After that, Touche Turtle came back to his wife and Dum-Dum followed suit since he really had no place to go, like any other dog.
==His other Fencing Years==
In 1980, Touche was working on a fence and his wife saw that he did a very good job at it. So she asked Touche if he could help her brother's fence, so he did. This would continue until all of Touche's relatives had better fences. Touche Fencing was then born!
Today, Douche Turtle has built 2000 fences and is still working on the fence surrounding Mexico so that there wouldn't be any more Mexicans strolling in the country.
==See Also==
* Cartoon
* Turtle
* Sword
* Fencing
Category:Turtles
Category:Cartoon characters
Category:Douches
Touching grass

Touching grass is a type of exercise to clear all the porn from your mind, and is claimed to be calming by some. Touching grass was invented in 6000 BC by the Indo-Europeans. Before that they went "Ooga Booga" in caves. As grass can be found on 6 out of 7 ContinentsAlthough it might seem that Africa shouldn't count since it's mostly made of sand and desert, there can still be found grass in places such as oasis, so it still counts., and that seventh one is where only penguins live, it is extremely easy to do.
== Step-by-step tutorial ==
# Turn off your electronic device after clearing search history.
# Walk to your front door and out of your mom's basement.
# Walk OUT of the front door.
# Walk into the front yard, and bend down.
# Feel the grass with your hand. (no that doesn't imply sexual assault against the grass)
== Benefits of touching grass ==
There are many benefits to touching Grass, such as:
# Having a response to "Go Touch Grass"
# Clearing the porn you watched from your mind.
# Feeling quite yippee.
# Wanting to touch grass again.
Hopefully those entice you to touch some grass.
== History of touching grass ==
Touching Grass was invented by the Indo-European man Ben Dover, who lived from 6034 BC to 5999 BC. Since then many people of Indo-European descent have been touching it, though in recent years it has grown more and more unpopular due to gaming and porn. The idea of touching Grass arrived in Asia and Africa in 3200 BC and 32 AD respectively.
== Footnotes ==
== See also ==
* League of Legends
* World of Warcraft
Category:Activities
Category:Plants
Category:Things Jesus Would Do
Category:Things that are definitely out to get you
Tourette's Syndrome/Basement Dweller

Tourette's syndrome is a neurological or neurochemical disorder characterized by tics tics tics tics tics: involuntary, rap-p-p-p-p-p-p-pid, sudden m-m-m-m-m-movements or vocalizations repeatedly that occur repeatedly in the same repeated POOP way repeatedly. Multiple motor and vocal tics may include echolalia (the urge to repeat words spoken by someone else words spoken by someone else), palilalia (the urge to repeat words one's own words previously spoken words repeated), lexilalia (the urge to repeat words after reading reading reading) and in a minority of cases, coprolalia (the spontaneous bitch utterance of socially damn objectionable words CUNT).
Tourette's is not to be confused with Terrorists' Syndrome, a chronic condition which involves randomly flying aircraft into buildings, exploding at the slightest provocation and hijacking buses to Cuba for some unknown reason.
== A SHAVING Polite Note to the SHOWER Author: ==
I am 32 years old and my anime waifu and I have Tourette Syndrome. We do not find your article funny or amusing in any way, and would like it removed or changed as soon as possible.
Let me tell you about Tourette Syndrome:
*Less than 20% of Tourrettes sufferers swear. You can blame Western television for always focusing on the bad side of a terrible thing.
*The main symptom of Tourettes are involuntary muscle spasms, or "tics" which can range from head nods, to a small knee jerk.
*Tourettes is no laughing matter, it causes children to be bullied at training camp for something they cannot control, and it has even caused teenage sufferers to become manically depressed and commit suicide.
*There is no cure, and the drugs that are available to "calm" the tics often have adverse side effects. In fact, I once took a drug called "hanna perodol" which caused my entire body to go numb and basically made it worse than it is without the drug.
I am an active member of a tourette syndrome association and I am making steps towards eradicating the public view of Tourettes as a "swearing" disorder, because it is much much more.
I am sorry for "hi-jacking" your entry on uncyclopedia, but it is stuff like this that really annoys me. I am working towards a better future for all tourettes sufferers, and you can do the same by editing this article. Remember, everything here is meant to be funny, and making fun of a horrible disorder is not funny at all.
Thank you for your time.
Best regards, *tips fedora*
Gordo Granudo
==See HYGEINE also== 
*Tourette's Syndrome
*Tourette's Syndrome/Lite
*Tourette's Syndrome/Amish
*Tourette's Syndrome/Mormon
*Tourette's Syndrome/Iraqi
Tourette's Syndrome/Floridian

==A FUCKING Polite Note to the FUCKING Author:==
I am A FUCKING 17 years old and FUCKING have Tourette Syndrome. I do not find your FUCKING article funny or amusing in any way, and I would like it FUCKING removed or changed as soon as FUCKING possible.
Let me tell you FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! about THIS FUCKING Tourette Syndrome:
Less than 20% of FUCKING Tourettes sufferers FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCKING swear. You can FUCKING blame television for always focusing on the ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BAD SHITTY bad side of a terrible thing.
The main symptom of FUCKING Tourettes are involuntary muscle spasms, or FUCK FUCK FUCK MY FUCKING ASS YOU NUTSACK SUCKER SHITHEAD "tics" which can range from head nods, to a small knee FUCKING jerk.
Tourettes is no ABSOLUTE FUCKING laughing matter, it causes children to be bullied at THIS FUCKING school for something they cannot control, and it has even caused teenage sufferers to become VERY VERY FUCKING depressed and commit suicide.
There is no FUCKING cure, and the FUCKING drugs that are available to "calm" the tics often have adverse FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK FUCKKKKKKKKK side efects. In fact, I once took a drug called "hanna perodol" which ABSOLUTELY FUCKINGLY FUCKED FUCKING caused my entire FUCKING body to go numb and basically made it worse than it is without the FUCK drug.
I am an active FUCKING member of a FUCKING tourette syndrome association and FUCK I am making steps towards FUCK eradicating the public FUCK view of Tourettes as a FUCK FUCK FUUUUCKKK FUUUUUUCK NIGGASSSS FUCK NIGGA "swearing" disorder, because it is FUCK much much more.
I am sorry FUCKING for "hi-jacking" your entry on THIS FUCKING uncyclopedia, but it is stuff like this FUCKING SHIT that really FUCKING annoys me. I am working towards a better future for all FUCKING AWESOME tourettes sufferers, and you can do the same by FUCKING editing this FUCKING article. Remember, everything FUCKING here is meant to be funny, and making fun of a horrible disorder is FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK not funny at all.
Thank you FUCKWAT for your FUCKING TIME time.
Best FUCKING regards,
Phil
Category:Article subpages
Tourette's Syndrome/Lite

== A Polite Note to the Author: ==
 
I am 17 years old and have Tourette Syndrome. I do not find your article funny or amusing in any way, and I would like it removed or changed as soon as possible.
Let me tell you about Tourette Syndrome:
* Less than 20% of Tourettes sufferers swear. You can blame television for always focusing on the bad side of a terrible thing.
* The main symptom of Tourettes are involuntary muscle spasms, or "tics" which can range from head nods, to a small knee jerk.
* Tourettes is no laughing matter, it causes children to be bullied at school for something they cannot control, and it has even caused teenage sufferers to become depressed and commit suicide.
* There is no cure, and the drugs that are available to "calm" the tics often have adverse side efects. In fact, I once took a drug called "hanna perodol" which caused my entire body to go numb and basically made it worse than it is without the drug. 
I am an active member of a tourette syndrome association and I am making steps towards eradicating the public view of Tourettes as a "swearing" disorder, because it is much much more.
I am sorry for "hi-jacking" your entry on uncyclopedia, but it is stuff like this that really annoys me. I am working towards a better future for all tourettes sufferers, and you can do the same by editing this article. Remember, everything here is meant to be funny, and making fun of a horrible disorder is not funny at all.
Thank you for your time. 
Best SUNSHINE regards,
Phil
 !!!?!?!?!?
Category:Diseases
Category:Insane
Tourette's Syndrome/Lite2

== A Polite Note to the Author: ==
 
I am 17 years old and have Tourette Syndrome. I do not find your article funny or amusing in any way, and I would like it removed or changed as soon as possible.
Let me tell you about Tourette Syndrome:
* Less than 20% of Tourettes sufferers swear. You can blame television for always focusing on the bad side of a terrible thing.
* The main symptom of Tourettes are involuntary muscle spasms, or "tics" which can range from head nods, to a small knee jerk.
* Tourettes is no laughing matter, it causes children to be bullied at school for something they cannot control, and it has even caused teenage sufferers to become depressed and commit suicide.
* There is no cure, and the drugs that are available to "calm" the tics often have adverse side efects. In fact, I once took a drug called "hanna perodol" which caused my entire body to go numb and basically made it worse than it is without the drug. 
I am an active member of a tourette syndrome association and I am making steps towards eradicating the public view of Tourettes as a "swearing" disorder, because it is much much more.
I am sorry for "hi-jacking" your entry on uncyclopedia, but it is stuff like this that really annoys me. I am working towards a better future for all tourettes sufferers, and you can do the same by editing this article. Remember, everything here is meant to be funny, and making fun of a horrible disorder is not funny at all.
Thank you for your time. 
Best regards,
Phil
Tourette's Syndrome (Mormon)

Mormon tourette's syndrome, or LDSTS is a neurological or neurochemical disorder characterized by tics tics tics tics tics: involuntary, rap-p-p-p-p-p-p-pid, sudden m-m-m-m-m-movements or vocalizations repeatedly that occur repeatedly in the same repeated way repeatedly. Multiple motor and vocal tics may include echolalia (the urge to repeat words spoken by someone else words spoken by someone else), palilalia (the urge to repeat words one's own words previously spoken words repeated), lexilalia (the urge to repeat words after reading reading reading) and in a minority of cases, coprolalia (the spontaneous bitch utterance of socially damn objectionable words). 
Tourette's is not to be confused with Pikachu, an annoying condition which involves random disorientation, clueless loudmouth outbursts, tourista, an arrogant refusal to attempt to speak the local language and a desire to see places of vast natural beauty defaced with endless tacky souvenir shoppes.
== A Mother-Fetching Polite Note to the Gosh Dang Author: ==
 
I am a flipping 17-year-old Mormon and fricking have Tourette's Syndrome. I do not find your darn article funny or amusing in any way, and I would like it removed or changed as soon as fetching possible.
Let me hecking tell you about darn Tourette's Syndrome:
*Less than 20% of dang Tourette's patients swear. You can fricking blame television for always focusing on the gosh darn bad side of a terrible thing.
* The main symptom of fetching Tourettes are involuntary muscle spasms, or darn "tics" which can range from head nods, to a small knee fricking jerk.
*Tourettes is no Gosh darn laughing matter, it causes children to be bullied at Gosh darn school for something they cannot control, and it has even caused teenage sufferers to become flipping manically depressed and commit suicide.
*There is no fricking cure, and the dang drugs that are available to "calm" the tics often have adverse fetching side efects. In fact, I once took a drug called "hanna perodol" which fricking caused my entire dang body to go numb and basically made it worse than it is without the Gosh darn drug. 
I am an active frickin member of a black person Tourette's Syndrome association and heck I am making steps towards flipping eradicating the public's fricking view of Tourette's as a "swearing" disorder, because it is salamander much much more.
I am sorry freak for "hijacking" your entry on frickin' Uncyclopedia, but it is stuff like this flipping that really heck annoys me. I am working towards a better future for all dang Tourette's patients, and you can do the same by fricking editing this crap article. Remember, everything fetching here is meant to be funny, and making heck fun of a horrible disorder is fetching not funny at all.
Thank you for your melon-farming time. 
Best fricking regards,
Phil
Category:SyndromesCategory:TastelessCategory:Twat Bastard
Towel whipping

=Towel Whipping=
Everyone expects the most dangerous weapons to be the obvious ones: Guns, Daggers, Samurai swords, Rocket launchers, America's nuclear bombs...etc etc. However what everyone should REALLY be scared of, is the weapons that nobody thinks of. For all those who have ever used a tea towel, dishcloth or towel. You will know that each and every one is really a perilous and terrifying weapon to only be used by true masters of the art of towel whipping. 
==The Different Types Of Towel-Weapon==
There are three main types of Towel-Weapon, all varying in size and each gives a different hit. Each is individual in how it delivers its blow and should be chosen depending on whether the target has bare skin showing or not. 
The smallest: Dishcloth: Only the best of the best towel whippers can pull off a satisfying snap from a dishcloth. Very hard to handle but when the user and the cloth become one, the strike that will follow will surely cause a welt worthy of the great towel whippers of old. Recommended for use on bare skin. The dishcloth tends to be too thin to pull off a fulfilling whip through clothes. Not a very good length. Master this cloth and you'll be dishing out the bruises to everyone.
 The middle line: Tea Towel: This is the easiest towel to control because of the size and flexibility of it. Highly recommended for beginners to learn with. Comes in a variety of materials to cause various amounts of different damage to people. Longer than a dishcloth and can offer a gratifying hit on the target while leaving enough time to make a quick getaway
The longest: Towel: Quite hard to come to grips with mainly because of the heaviness. Once mastered however it can give an incredibly rewarding and enjoyable lash against your enemy whether they are wearing clothes or not. Since most towels are the length they are, if you get a whip in with this weapon there isn't much of a chance of a rebound strike from your target.
==The Various Colours Of Towel==
White Towel - Beginner- 
You are crap! You fail to even make the towel whip instead you hit glass and they smash.
Red Towel - Need More practice- 
You can now whip, the pain you inflict is minimal but you are now well on your way to doing better.
Yellow Towel- Getting better - 
You can now make people squeal, when you assault with the towel 
Green Towel - Good- 
When you whip the skin goes Red. Good your profficiency is increasing! 
Blue Towel- Very good- 
You can duel with the best no longer do you just pick on defenceless dishwashers (like David Frazer), you now pick on people your own size.
Brown Towel -Excellent- 
When people see you with a towel they have a fearful, mistrusting look in their eye. Their heart beats twice as fast as they prepare to run from you.
Black Towel- Master-
Masterful deadly accuracy means that not only do your shots hurt but they don't miss, you can now shoot down a wasp in flight!
==External Links==
*James Bond towel whips someone in the face
Category: Martial arts Category:Hobbies