The Truth Behind Cluny The Scourge

When I was a child, I was a real bookworm, and read 24/7. Being an 80's kid, there was a particular series which really gripped me: Redwall.
You know, a fantasy series written by Brian Jacques, about the adventures of anthropomorphic animals, as they fight pirates, warlords and all kinds of crooks. There was one villain in particular which I couldn't help taking notice of: Cluny the Scourge.
Cluny was a rat warlord, the main antagonist of the original novel. He was famous for being a giant compared to others of his own species, having only one eye, and a whip-like tail which gave him his name.
I had no idea why I found a giant rat so amazing, but after I emailed my friend - who was always searching for subliminal messages - about it, he provided an answer but it was something I had never dreamed could be linked to an innocent children's novel.
Here is what he emailed to me:
"It's a well known fact that a huge amount of Redwall fans love Cluny. They just find him such a memorable character. But they don't know who he really was. Cluny actually existed. Now, before you ask me if I'm loopy, I must let you know of something which happened around the time that Brian Jacques was working on his first novel.
A top secret laboratory, located somewhere near Liverpool (Brian Jacques' birthplace) was devoted to attempting to create anthropomorphic animals, by fusing parts of an animal to a human body. The leader of these supposedly insane scientists was a man named Charles Dahmer.
Dahmer had a pet rat named Loony, which he loved dearly. He had been bullied horribly throughout his childhood, so Loony was his only friend. This rat had lived amazingly long, and he was what inspired Dahmer to experiment with anthropomorphizing animals.
Sadly, halfway through the first experiment, Dahmer forgot to lock Looney's cage, and the rat went racing out of the lab. Horrified, Dahmer went running after him, shouting the place down: "Looney! Looney! Come back!" Dahmer followed his rat straight into a busy junction... and was hit by a Land Rover. Both he and his rat where crushed to death.
The other scientists were heartbroken at the death of their boss, and they had to admit they had liked Looney, too. Then, they became inspired for their first animal/human creation. Gathering the bodies of Dahmer and Looney, a series of operations took place. It was a bloody, grisly effort, but after two and a half months, it was done. The first anthropomorphic rat was created. By fusing the bodies of a scientist and his adored rat together.
However, there was something wrong with him. He wasn't intended to be fierce, but as soon as he opened his eye (the left couldn't be repaired) and was told his new name was Cluny (it was the closest equivalent to Looney) the rat, standing about ten feet tall, charged at the scientists, and mauled them all to death. All except one, who managed to escape with his life, and warn the authorities, who instantly caught the monster and had it put down.
The news of "Cluny" spread like wildfire, and Brian Jacques got the perfect inspiration for his first novel. Strangely, to this day, no one knows about it. Except me. You see, I was the scientist who escaped from the lab. You've often asked me why I have a scar running the length of my left arm, and I told you I got cut on a tree branch. I'm sorry I lied to you. My arm was actually almost severed from my body, by the tail of Cluny the Scourge!"
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Category:Animulz
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Category:Pointless Violence
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