nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Uncyclopedia Gold/Price Box

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Basic
$9.99/mo
Access to Basic-tier Uncyclopedia articles
Ability to vote for the next featured article
Read-only access to our Discord Server
Lets you make your own userpage
[ Buy Now!]
Gold
$12.99/mo
Access to Gold-tier Uncyclopedia articles
Ability to vote on any site election
Chat with friends on our Discord server
Adds a special trophy to put on your userpage
[ Buy Now!]
Premium
$24.99/mo
Access to all Uncyclopedia articles
Everything from lower tiers, plus "rollback" privileges
Special Discord voice chat sessions with the admins
Ability to write and edit almost any page
[ Buy Now!]
Category:Do not categorize
Uncyclopedia Health Service/Store

- Home - News - Store - 
Online Store
180px	Mystery Pills Headache? Back-pain? In-laws visiting? You need a big ol’ jar of mystery pills; with names like Tyroixil, Zealot, and Olipro these pills must cure somethingLike an overweight wallet..£3.99UK
$12.50AUD
More than you can afford USD
 	Surgical WhiskeyWhat is the most important piece of medical equipment someone can possess? No, not band aids or clear judgment but a big flask of cool Tennessee whiskey. Whether it be a sprained ankle, horrific chainsaw accident or just a very cranky baby, nothing relives the pain like the amber colored elixir of life.
Instructions for use;
Step 1. Approach injured person and kneel down. - 
Step 2. Hold flask with spout pointing upwards, remove cap. - 
Step 3. Press the bottle to the lips of the unfortunate victim… you. - 
Step 4. Drink half the contents, look as if you are taking control of the situation – poke them with a stick or take their wallet. - 
Step 5. Scull the rest – also take their watch if it is not a fake. - 
Step 6. Run. You don’t want to get icky blood on your nice new shoes. - 
Optional - Step 7. Poke them again. - 
 
Flask: £27.99UKWhiskey: Don't think you’re getting any.
 	Japanese NurseShe make much good time! Like eastern wind of relaxation on stressed western spine. Have plenty much experience with elderly care, tentacles. Price being very pleasant!¥499 per summer flight of the swallow.
 	Human Arm Ever wanted to carry all those bags of shopping, become a legendary piano player, or simply have a disembodied human arm? Well this is the perfect thing for you. 
The human arm allows you to reach places you never thought possible, do things that you never would have imagined and break laws you never knew existed. 
A great present for all ages - Nothing says “I love you!” like a big hairy arm! It is also a perfect mobility aid for the elderly, allowing you to grab (or at least knock over) things from a distance with ease. 
From holding up shelves too a nice side dish with turkey, it is clear that a human arm is a must have for everybody!£4.99UK, $8.99US - while stocks last.
 	Universal Healthcare The one size fits all, care for the sick and diseased masses. Not available for our US customers. $490Bil US
Category:Article subpages
Uncyclopedia Health Service/UHS

UHS Application for Hospital Visit
----
- Personal -
Name _______________________
Gender - M / F - (Yes, the doctors will undress you and poke fun at your genitals, but for some people they just cant tell...)
PIN Number _______________________ (Oh how silly of me, the doctors will just steal you wallet while you're under.)
----
- Reminder - If you take any medications, please bring them in so the more junior doctors can experiment with them in the laboratory, or as we like to call it, toilet. Stimulants are most appreciated.
----
- Preferences -
What would you like to eat? - Grey slop / Grey slop / Grey slop (If the doctors want to sleep with you they may get you something better.)
Would you like to be resuscitated after the pie?
Yes __ 
No __ (If you couldn't take the pie, I wouldn't try the dessert.)
Would you like to try the executive service? 
Yes, Vodka through an IV is my idea of heaven __
No, toilet water is fine for me __
How often would you like your room cleaned? 
Once a Day 
Once a Week __ 
Never, the cockroaches really grow on you __
What would you like the doctor to tell your family if they leave medical equipment in you?
 
"Oh thats the.. um.. scissor bone." __
"It was like that when he came in here" __
"How does free hospital for a month sound?" __
Please sign this declaration: I declare that I am legally unwell, and consent to being patronized and violated in the spirit of impersonal scientific discovery. I also do not mind if my internal organ/s are sold to a wealthy Chinese businessman for a tidy profit. 
____________________________ 
Category:Article subpages
Uncyclopedia Legal Department/Complaints

The Uncyclopedia Legal Department is well-endowed with a large team of experienced lawyers, who will do everything in their power to ensure you receive the best legal assistance possible.
==Complaints below this header==
=="Sealed" complaints for pending cases==
===Paid Adversement*===
:*Case Closed (02:42, December 16, 2009 (UTC)): Uncyclopedia Legal Department/Case:Happytimes vs Multiliteralist
Uncyclopedia Legal Department/Complaints/Paid Adversement

From :Uncyclopedia Legal Department/Complaints#Paid Adversement: 
I complain against the fact that I'm not actually paid for editing Uncyclopedia. I know nobody else is paid either, but it's me I'm talking about here!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?? In fact I suspect somebody else is being paid. Guildy is so productive he might be! THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THE WORLD. -- 09:43, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
:I'd like to complain that makes more money than I do for editing Uncyclopedia! When will the endless legal fees stop?!? (Seriously though, why aren't you getting paid the two bits that Syndrome and I are?) 05:14, December 10, 2009 (UTC)
::I complain that you used my signature Happytimes! -- Date/time (UTC)
==Complaint Synopsis:==
===Shorthand===
:Multiliteralist *CA* not getting paid. Happytimes *CA* ~M~ making more than ~H~. ~M~ *CA* ~H~ using his signature.
===Longhand===
:Multiliteralist complains about not getting paid. Happytimes complains about Multiliteralist making more than Happytimes. Multiliteralist complains about Happytimes using his signature.
Uncyclopedia Legal Department/Proclamation

{{A/d|type=float|{{Legal/C|h=
|title= Proclamation of Inherent Powers
|header=Signatories (1–888) to the Uncyclopedia Legal Department, hereinafter referred to as ;|
Concerning the legal proceedings directly pertaining to the internet-based website called Uncyclopedia, hereinafter referred to as the Site;|
Noting that Ministers on 6 January 2010 agreed the Uncyclopedia round of lateral and asphyxiative Legal Negotiations should achieve the summary and ever-greater diminishing of falsifiable page editing, inter alia compus, the progressive dismantling of propriety and the improvement of the unintentional misconduct for the conduct of the purposes later to be defined;
Seeking to achieve maximum pay in office, unofficial payments for services rendered, including elimination of our duties, and to the fullest extent possible, the reduction or elimination of rights of the general public editing the Site;
Encouraging the non-continued legal support to any parties involved; 
Desiring to provide unfair and unequal competitive opportunities for other editors than those directly involved with this Department;
Being mindful of the importance in the editing sector of nobody else's interests;
Knowing that many Signatories view the comedy sector as a particularly important component of the proceedings in Uncyclopedia;
Advocating the elimination of adversaries and the distortion of provided opinion;
Requiring that those not in favor of this Department operate on an unfair basis;
Wanting to not really represent the rights of anyone;
Recognizing the need to provide for uncyclopedically legalistic notification, consultation, severe surveillance and dubitable dispute settlement procedures with a view to ensuring a "fair, prompt and effective" enforcement of the provisions of thisor any otherAgreement and to maintain the balance of rights and obligations among nobody;
Establishing an international framework governing abnormal conduct and inappropriate laughter;
|subheader=Hereby agree as follows:
|subtext=Article 1 *
:1.1 This Agreement applies to the following products:
::a) articles,
::b) talk pages thereof,
::c) all other parts, components, and sub-pages of articles, such as templates and userboxes
::d) all foreign life forms, kittens (huffed or otherwise), grues, mythological creatures and
::e) illicit sexual devices wielded by any given member of the community 
:1.2 For the purposes of this Agreement "articles" means:
::a) all articles other than locked articles and
::b) all other products set out in Article 1.1 above or elsewhere
|footnote=*We assume no legal responsibility.
|cat=}}}}
Uncyclopedia Legal Department/Templates

:Anyone caught misusing the power of the Templates will be executed fellatio cum coitus per anum, right after an excruciatingly prolonged court session veritas, fides, sapientia.
:
:
:{{Legal/Ad |header=header |text1 |text2 |footnote=*optional footnote}}
:
:
:
:
::
:
::
:
:
:The official UnLegal logo header for marking subpages. Template also contains stylesheet information for headings, etc.
:
:The logo with link text for illustrative purposes.
:
:
:Utility template for notices on user talk pages, as deemed necessary by the members of the department.
:There are two spaces for text, a changeable header and optional footnote.
:
:{{Legal |header=header |text1 |text2 |footnote=*optional footnote}}
:
:Catch the attention of editors by adding an UnLegal advisory to articles.
:The header and text is changeable, you can link to any page you choose and there is an optional link text parameter.
:
:{{Legal/S |header=header |link=formatting |linktext=The Formatting Page |1=text}}
:
:Official office stationary for UnLegal subpages and depositions, etc.
:There is a changeable title, header, subheader, subtext, two different paragraph formats and an optional footnote.
:
:{{Legal/C
|title=Page Title
|header=Main Header
|paragraph1
|paragraph2
|subheader=Sub Header
|subtext=subtext
|footnote=*optional footnote}}
:
:Invite existing users to join the department.
:Th header is changeable,there are two different paragraph formats and an optional spot for a signature.
:
:{{Legal/R |header=header |text1 |text2 |sig=~~~~}}
:
:
:{{Legal/A |header=header |text1 |text2 |text3 |a=a}}
:
:Invite new users to contribute to the site.
:
:{{subst:Legal/W |user=username |sig=~~~~}}
:Warn new users about problematic editing.
:
:{{subst:Legal/N |user=username |sig=~~~~}}
Uncyclopedia Lite

Uncyclopedia Lite was until recently a very distant relative of Uncyclopedia. It was originally written by a very distant relative of Oscar Wilde who was also a health-food nut. He said that "Uncyclopedia is hilarious, but just look at the Main Page. You can tell it has at least 20 grams of trans fat. I might even have to get quadruple bypass surgery, now that I've been reading this shit. My coronary arteries are all clogged up with Euroipods by now." In a seizure one night, this very distant relative of Oscar Wilde (whose name is currently unknown... would have saved us a lot of time) created Uncyclopedia Lite. Not funny, but better for you.
==Sophia?!?==
One of the first decisions on Uncyclopedia Lite was to ban Sophia, and in fact all things potato-ish, from its site. Explained one of the first Lite Admins (TM), "We're sorry, but we cannot allow the potato to exist on our utterly awesome site. Recent testing has proven potatoes to be a source of empty carbs with no nutritional value whatsoever. Even the mentally retarded kitten huffers with no life at the old unhealthy wikis should know that." Apparently not.
Uncyclopedia Lite's criminal masterminds announced that Sophia is to be replaced by a piece of broccoli. They also claimed that people will eat broccoli and enjoy it or else!!!
==Stupid motto on the web page==
Every Uncyclopedia Lite article reads at the top, after its actual title:
 The fat-free encyclopedia
Some people have complained that in fact Uncyclopedia Lite contains trace amounts of fat and even worse, cholesterol. In fact, despite going on a diet the Main Page still contained 625 calories.
==Pliers==
Being lite, Uncyclopedia Lite had only one of the so-called pliers. It was so lite it could be summarized in this handy box:
 Be Lite and not just funny.
 Or stupid.
==Tragic Death==
===Tragic...===
Only 7 1/2 weeks after being founded, Uncyclopedia Lite died. A passerby reading a page, which may have now been huffed, reportedly told Uncyclopedia Lite that it was overweight. Uncyclopedia Lite immediately became very depressed about this and joined Weight Watchers.
Suddenly, about a week after that it became anorexic. Uncyclopedia Lite was found dead from starvation by the admins, who immediately wondered how a website can be anorexic.
===...But not really that tragic===
The admins all committed suicide out of confusion. After Uncyclopedia Lite passed away, there might have been a great deal of rejoicing and other stuff, but nobody really could figure out what happened.
Oh well... It lived a full life, didn't it?
Category:Uncyclopedia
Category:Wiki
Category:Fat people
Uncyclopedia Power Structure

The Uncyclopedia Power Structure:
Uncyclopedia is a Secretariacy,and is kept running by these individuals: The SecretaryThe UndersecretaryThe Secretary of the UndersecretaryThe Secretary in Charge of Secretarian AffairsThe Secretary to the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian AffairsandThe Committee in Charge of Making Sure that the Uncyclopedia Power Structure Template resembles a pyramid
Category:Uncyclopedia
Uncyclopedia Power Structure/Secretary

The Secretary is the commander-in-chief of Uncyclopedia, and has veto power over the The Committee in Charge of Making Sure that the Uncyclopedia Power Structure Template resembles a pyramid. The Secretary is head of the Secretariacy, with all the rights and responsibilities that that position conveys.
==Current==
*Sophia
==Past Secretaries==
*Oscar Wilde
Category:Sophia
Uncyclopedia Power Structure/Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs

The Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs is a position with in the Secretariacy of Uncyclopedia. 
== Duties ==
The SICOSA is charged with a number of difficult tasks, and because of this, turnover in this position is high. Duties incldue, but are not limited to:
*Filing
*Short-skirt Wearing
*Making-up-excuses-to-the-wife
*Typing slowly and inaccurately
*Dropping things and leaning over to pick them up
*Taking deep breaths
*Bouncing down stairs
*Delegating tasks to the Secretary to the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs
== Election Procedures ==
The SICOSA is nominated by the SOTU, ratified by the Undersecretary, and appreciated by the Committee in Charge of Making Sure that the Uncyclopedia Power Structure Template resembles a pyramid. 
== Qualifications ==
To qualify for the position of SCIOSA, a secretary must pass a rigorous series of examinations. Some of the pertinant qualifications are:
*Must be able to type
*Basic literacy skills
*Good GPA: at least a C student, preferably a D or a DD student. 
*Flexiable
*Outstanding oral abilities
*Able to serve in multiple positions as needed
== Impeachment ==
If a SIOCSA fails in any of her duties, she may be impeached by any of the Secretaries above her. While few SIOCSAs have been impeached, when they are, it becomes a national spectacle. See Monica Lewinski.
Uncyclopedia Power Structure/Secretary of the Undersecretary

The Secretary of the Undersecretary is the third in command of Uncyclopedia. The average term of a SOTU is about 2 or 3 months, after which he is offed by the Armenian military or retires to pursue a career in botany.
The duties of the SOTU include coffee runs, moping, delegating tasks, and supervising the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs. 
Perks of being a SOTU include a corner office, secretaries at your disposal, use of the company car, and a private bathroom. 
SOTUs are delegated by the Undersecretary, and ratified by a two-thirds majority of the Committee in Charge of Making Sure that the Uncyclopedia Power Structure Template resembles a pyramid. 
SOTUs are warned that they must never reveal the secret of Absolute Power.
Uncyclopedia Power Structure/Secretary to the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs

The Secretary to the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs is the primary mover-and-shaker of Uncyclopedia.
== The Pyramid Shaper ==
Unlike the other Positions of Power, the Secretary to the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs actually gets things done around Uncyclopedia. Tasked with tasks delegated by the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs, the Secretary to the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs weilds great power in any Secretariacy.
== More than Just One ==
Unlike the other Secretary positions, the Secretary to the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs can be filled multiple times concurrently. This allows for greater efficiency, as managing the work which trickles down from the top gets pretty complex the farther from the top you get.
== Job Description ==
Because the secretaries above them are simply delegating tasks, by the time any requests make it to the Secretaries to the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs, those requests are nearly incomprehensible. In order to compensate for this, the Secretaries to the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs simply decide what they think needs doing, and then pass that along to the Comittee. After the committee has done its work, they simply tell the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs that their request has been completed, and that information makes it way back up the pyramid. 
== Power ==
Unlike most of the corrupt and affair-laden members of the rest of the Secretariacy, the Secretaries to the Secretary in Charge of Secretarian Affairs wield great power and influence. If you want something done, these are the people to talk to. While they may not do it themselves, they are most efficient at whipping the committee into action, and getting things done. Without them, Uncyclopedia would not function.
Uncyclopedia Power Structure/Undersecretary

The Undersecretary is the second in command of Uncyclopedia. In the event that the Secretary is incapacitated, the Undersecretary takes on the role of Secretary. 
The Undersecretary is nominated by the Secretary, and can then be approved by a 1/3 minority vote of the members of The Committee in Charge of Making Sure that the Uncyclopedia Power Structure Template resembles a pyramid. However, this can only happen if the Undersecretary is wider in girth than the Secretary. 
Oscar Wilde is the current Undersecretary, although nearly 2/3 of the The Committee in Charge of Making Sure that the Uncyclopedia Power Structure Template resembles a pyramid voted against him, on grounds that he had too much experience in that position in his former position.
Uncyclopedia is Stupid

"Dear Everyone who likes this site, 
YOU ALL HAVE A VERY, VERY, VERY TWISTED SENSE OF HUMOUR.
First of all, this wiki isn't funny, it's OFFENSIVE. I'm surprised it wasn't taken down by the FBI years ago.
Second of all, the wiki is poorly made, with articles that are filled with misdirection, bad grammar, missing capital letters, spelling mistakes, etc.
I expect someone else to continue this article because I don't want to be on this terrible, crappy website for 2 hours, writing about HOW crappy it is.
But you know, before I leave I have to tell you that the last time I experienced anything like I've just experienced here, just hitting "random article" "random article" "random article" over and over again for what felt like a lifetime of nothing but pulled hairs, but must have been an hour in the world where real people live, was never. TWISTED doesn't go anywhere near far enough, you SICK DUM DUMS. I saw a man swimming in shit for Christ's sake! 
Let me try to explain it better. Once my mom gave me something, possibly crabs. I had never seen anything like these things before in my life, and until I got rid of them they itched all to hell. I tried to wash them out, smoke them out, used and invented all kinds of folk remedies and barely tolerable hippie medicines. Nothing. They just kept walking around making me itch. That's this wiki. It's the crabs of the internet. Are you getting it now, you offensive assholes? Why the FBI isn't up your behind with a rusty rake I DO NOT KNOW. Damn, what are we paying taxes for?"
-Scaro Wilde, who died after saying this
Category:Uncyclopedia
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