Dark Presences

Everything has gone off the deep end for me. I once lived a normal life before It..came into my life I have nothing left inside me but that damn thing that continues to fuck with me more ways then I can count.
I remember when I had to move out my moms house my mom pretty much forced me out because she hated me because apparently it was my fault for my parents divorce..this presence was destroying my life let’s cut back to my school years when it was just starting.
I was 15 at this time each day I would think about ways to end myself I would sit in class staring into nothing as the teacher would usually ramble about something.
I would always wear long sleeve shirts or hoodies to cover up all my self harmings the teacher and other classmates would show some concern but barely I honestly don’t think they ever payed any real attention.
Most of them would pick on me calling me stuff like a Emo f#g and a nobody and then preceded to tell me to go die I was so done with it.
One day I was going to try and throw myself off the roof of the school building all the voices in my head kept telling me…
Voices: you’re a worthless failure who dose nothing but let everyone down you should just end it. 
This went on for as long as I remember I was standing right on the ledge getting ready to jump when a girl who always eats lunch up here noticed me and approached me.
Girl: Hey uhh what are you trying to do?
She asked with genuine concern.
Me: Oh uhh…it’s nothing.
I immediately got down and started walking away but she definitely knew what I was thinking about doing so she told the school principal.
The principal had a long talk with me basically telling me to take a few days off school and maybe seek some kind of help.
I honestly didn’t give a fuck about any of that I was just ready to end it there was no fixing anything.
I remember that night I kept hearing them I could hear their voices clear as day I would try to ignore it but that would only anger them.
The closest would slam open and close a few times and the Tv volume would start to raise the lights would flash the room would even shake a little and the voices would turn into a deep growl I was terrified out of my mind I tried to run and tell my parents but the door wouldn’t open I tried and tried but the damn thing wouldn’t budge no matter how hard I tried.
I collapsed to the floor and began sobbing and screaming for my parents but……they never came I then started to feel the room becoming colder and colder the room was now almost at below freezing temperatures that was the moment I could truly feel their presence I felt something slowly moving towards me I shut my eyes tightly as I kept telling myself.
Me: This isn’t real it’s just a delusion they aren’t real I’m dreaming.
But the entity kept getting closer at that point I finally found the courage and I looked behind me..
That was honestly one of my many regrets that night I wish I never saw that sight…what I saw was a tall headless man standing right there right in front of me I tried so desperately to scream but I couldn’t absolutely nothing came out.
The figure started to approach me I tried to move but I couldn’t do that ether the entity then covered my mouth and it spoke..
Headless man: Nate…Nate…nate
The entity kept calling my name repeatedly.
Headless man: nate…there is no more hope left.
I was so scared that I genuinely couldn’t process anything the entity was saying I layed there helpless as it continued to speak to me..
Headless man: Nate…any hope you may have had is gone you’re going to suffer even more now you could easily end this but you be the one to choose………NATE!
The thing screamed the final word then I started losing consciousness the whole room started being consumed by darkness then…
I woke up in a hospital room a few doctors were there as well as my parents.
Me: Wha…where am I?
Dad: You’re at the hospital Nate you’re mom found you unconscious in your room this morning on the floor.
Me: oh…
The memories of last night’s events all played out in my head my face looked pale and emotionless the doctors ran some tests and the next day i got sent home but after that my life got so much worse..
After that night it never stopped the entity came almost evey night but it got progressively worse the entity became much more aggressive and started physically attacking me but I could tell he wasn’t the only one I had many cuts and bruises from the assaults I had endured every night.
This went on for mouths my mom eventually found me trying to kill myself again and then had me take intense therapy I had to be pulled out of school because of my issues I never told them the real cause behind it because I knew they would tell me I’m faking it or some shit like that.
I had to take anti depressants as well which honestly made me feel so much worse whenever I took them they made me extremely aggressive one time I almost attacked my dad after we got into a argument over something i honestly can’t even remember I was sick of taking those god forsaken pills everyday they made me feel week and helpless and even more depressed.
I continued to go to therapy and I continue to take my pills but my issues were getting worse each day this was the moment my dad decided to leave the family he was sick of all the money him and my mom had spent on me just to fix my problems.
So without any hesitation he moved to another state far away what a selfish man he was he never cared about helping me he only cared about money but after their divorce my mom started avoiding me at home she stopped taking me to school in her car so I had to ether walk or take the bus I already knew by that point it was over and that I’ll never live a happy life again.
..Honestly sometimes I wish I hadn’t been born into this fucked up world.
We cut to now I’m 19 years old I live alone in a small crappy apartment I can’t even afford my mom made me move out as soon as I turned 18 she told me she hated me she wished that she never had me in the first place..
Those words broke me..but I just told myself to deal with it I had no friends or any kind of social life I was pretty much living off welfare because I had no desire anymore to get a job or have any kind of career not that I could because I pretty much dropped out of high school.
By the way the demons never left ether I still feel the headless man’s presence every night stalking me as I try to sleep as you can guess I hadn’t had proper sleep ever since it started I stopped seeking help I pretty much stop doing anything to help my situation because nothing worked it was all the same shit I had lost all hope the entity’s continue to torment me everyday.
Right now I’m walking home feeling nothing but empty emotions after a long night of drinking as I begin to make my way to my apartment building then I see him..
Headless man: NATE!!!!!!
I see the man standing right in the hallway screaming my name I then feel a sharp shooting pain in my head I collapse to the floor clenching my head tightly and groaning in pain the pain wouldn’t stop after a few minutes I eventually got back up the entity was gone.
I walk back into my apartment still clenching my head this was the first time I had actually seen the headless man in years I had always just been able to feel his presence I then decide to take a shot of alcohol.
I make my way over where the vodka was and took a massive shot I wanted to forget about what just happened and pretend it’s still just in my head it was then I see something on the counter I never even left there it was a picture of me and my family back when I was actually happy..
I slowly pick it up and stare at it tears beginning to form in my eyes as I start thinking what went wrong in my life I hold it tightly as I start crying wishing that I could just go back but I know I never can.
Then I feel a huge decrease in temperature in the room I dropped the picture frame and my whole body freezes up I feel nothing but the cold air in my apartment I feel my head spinning and my ears start ringing I covered my ears as the ringing continued to get louder.
It continued on piercing my ears with the loud high pitched ringing I starting reaching around trying to find anything that could stop it Then it all stopped I got up and looked around my heart was pounding and then I started hearing a little girl’s voice.
Little girl: Don’t worry it’ll be alright hehe you can just kill yourself! 
Her voice started getting louder and louder as she began repeating the same lines.
Little girl: Kill yourself kill yourself!! (Giggles)
Then I snapped 
Me: SHUT UP!!
I then threw the picture frame at the wall shattering it and the voice stopped everything went deathly silent I could hear no noise at all not even the slightest little sound I then said.
Me: I gotta get out of here.
I then bolted towards the door and started trying to open but just like what happened when I was a kid it didn’t open I pounded on it trying everything I could but nothing worked then I started to feel a vibration and the whole apartment started shaking like a earthquake was happening.
I held on to the doorknob holding my eyes shut as I waited for the shaking to stop…..I held my eyes shut for what felt like hours then the shaking stopped and I opened my eyes.
I saw my apartment but it didn’t look the same the place looked abandoned like it hadn’t been used in years and it was cold below freezing temperatures I slowly got up and looked around I was breathing heavily preparing for whatever was to come then I heard a faint whisper.
Voice: It’s not your time yet..
I immediately turned around to see the headless man right behind me he started growling and screaming demonically I ran towards where my front porch used to be and started desperately trying to smash the window to escape but of course nothing the man started dashing towards me and grabbed me..
Headless man: No Nate I didn’t mean for this.
He said in a deep demonic voice I was confused by what he meant so I said.
Me: Wha…what do you mean?
I said with a shaky voice
Headless man: I didn’t mean to cause you harm Nate I was trying to save you from them…
Then when he said that I looked behind him and saw multiple demonic figures standing behind him they all looked at me menacingly and looked like they wanted to kill me then everything went black I couldn’t see anything I tried calling for the man but no response I then started to see a faint light in the distance.
I started running towards it and when I made it there was a door that was slightly open I peaked inside and I saw a endless hallway that looked never ending it was just a giant endless hallway that leads to godknows what I tried calling out for someone.
Me: Hello someone please! I need help.
I honestly don’t even know why I tried like there was gonna be anyone here I started to make my way down this never ending hallway I turned around to see that the door I entered from was completely gone then out of nowhere the whole place shook violently and everything turned red.
After the shaking stopped I began to recollect myself then I noticed a bunch of doors had appeared after the shaking had stopped they went on all through out the hallway.
Me: Am…am I dead?
This was the only thought I had I couldn’t process what I was seeing or what was happening I wanted all this to just be a dream but I knew it wasn’t I began to make my way down looking at all the doors they each had different titles above the doorframe.
They said stuff like 8th birthday or trip to Disney land or favorite toy and then I realized something.
Me: or these past memories?
It was then that I reluctantly opened the first door slowly but surely when I did there was a bright flash of light that nearly blinded me when I opened my eyes I saw…..memories of the past.
Parents: Happy 8th birthday Nate!
The room was decorated with various party supplies and decorations stuff you would normally see at a child’s birthday party I could also see my past friends there as I blew out my candle.
Dad: Did you make a wish son?
My child self nodded I almost started bawling right there seeing me and my family and friends all together all happy and enjoying each other’s company it’s something I wish I could experience again but..that’ll never happen I’m eternally alone..
Voice: Nate you could have continued to have this life if only you didn’t make your parents separate you have no one to blame but yourself..
I honestly believed what the voice was saying I fucked up my own life I drove everyone away even the people who were there for me..I am a worthless failure it’s all I’ll ever be.
I walked out of this memory right before looking back at my past self wishing that I could change what I’ve done but I know I can’t my past self looked back at me almost as if he could actually see me I made my way back into the endless corridor and sat down thinking about what I could have done differently..
Voice: Nate there’s nothing you can do now you’re fate has been decided already you brought everything on yourself you did this Nate you failed everyone even yourself now you’re forever alone nobody’s on your side..
I began sobbing as the voice continued on and I genuinely believed it what it was saying was all true this is just reality for me I don’t get a happy ending I got back up and continued to go through years of my memories I saw all my past friendships past events and almost everything I’ve gone through in my life.
After I walked out the final door I was greeted by not a black figure but a beautiful woman who stood right before me I was shocked honestly I blinked a few times and she started to speak.
Women: Well Nate you made it to the end how dose it feel.
She walked towards me placing her hand on my chin making me look her directly in the eyes I didn’t say a word I just listened.
Women: You finally got to see what went wrong Nate do you understand now? There isn’t a thing you could have done your dad decided to leave you and your mom also hates you now and you pushed everybody that loved you out of your life (She laughed)
I continued to remain speechless as she went on.
Women: it’s not your fault tho you didn’t ask to be born that was never your choice Nate but it probably would have been best if you had never been born hehe.
The final few words hit me like a truck she backed away from me giggling as I stood there looking down I had nothing left to say I knew all that she said was the truth and I couldn’t hide from it anymore it was then the room started changing the woman began fading away all the doors containing my memories began disappearing and I felt the room spinning.
After a few minutes the room stopped spinning and I looked up only to see nothing but white that went on forever there was absolutely nothing else to be seen it was basically a infinity white void I sat down and curled up into a ball I had completely given up I was ready to except my fate in this endless void I was ready to except my punishment for what I had done i cried softly to myself wanting so bad for someone to come and comfort me and tell me it’s all ok..
But that never could happen I had no one like what the voice said earlier I am eternally alone I was ready to give up completely but for some reason I had this insane drive to keep going like something was pushing me to get back up.
I slowly got back up on my feet even though I had given up this drive to continue was to strong I started frantically running around trying to find something anything but I found nothing.
That was until I saw another door in the distance I didn’t waste any time I immediately ran towards it at breakneck speed I decided I was gonna see this through I finally made it to the door opening it.
When I went inside what I saw puzzled me at first it was a birthday cake sitting on the ground in a old looking room with a banner above saying Happy 8th birthday Nate!
The cake was also placed in front of another door I went over to examine it when I did out of nowhere the happy birthday song started to play scaring the ever living shit out of me the song almost sounded like something from a old 50s cartoon but it gave me a weird sense of nostalgia.
I then opened the door behind where the cake was when I walked in I saw something I’ve never seen before it looked like another memory but this is one I don’t remember at all it was me with a girl I used to have a crush on back when I still lived with my mother we looked happy we lived in a nice house we ate good food and I saw her cuddling me and telling me everything was gonna be ok..
I struggled to keep myself composed as I thought this damn thing was just taunting me with something I’ll never have another tear formed in my eye as I watched then the voice came back and it said to me.
Voice: This is what you’re life could have been Nate this is no allusion this is a alternate memory of your life if you hadn’t made the mistakes you did if you didn’t drive that girl away she would have loved and cared for you that’s all you ever wanted right?
Me: JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
I screamed as I almost fell into hysterics realizing that I could have had something great if I never would have become such a monster in the past the girl in those memories was as kind and caring as you can imagine but one day she realized I had been almost avoiding everyone barely saying a word to them so when she came to confront me about it I snapped at her told her to just leave me the hell alone she didn’t say a word back she just walked off softly sobbing to herself I never said a word to her after that neither did she.
All I ever wanted to do was say I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m…sorry for what I’ve done but it’s to late now she’s already long moved away and I’ll probably never get the chance to apologize.
After my breakdown the room changed again all I saw was a small sigh that said game over..
Then it all went black and I woke up on my kitchen floor I slowly stood up to examine my surroundings I was back in my apartment but instead of feeling relieved I felt nothing but despair and regret after that final realization I now knew damn well that nothing will ever change.
I then look over to the side and see a handgun and a message written in blood that said.
It’s your choice Nate..
I now know what I have to do to escape this utter nightmare I grabbed the gun and a few of my old childhood belongings I put it all into a bag and I started to make my way out of my apartment.
I felt the cool air of the night as I made my way outside it was surprisingly nice out there but I had a job to finish I started walking towards the old park near my apartment building all those thoughts Racing through my head I should have known there was nothing I could change that my life was doomed from the start.
If I can’t change anything if life is gonna continue to screw with me then I say fuck life and fuck this world.
I’m gonna take my last option there’s no one here that can stop me now so I’m gonna do what I failed to do all those years ago.
I finally make it to the park I take everything out of the bag including the gun I put all my past belongings into a small pile I took some lighter fluid and completely doused it I grabbed the lighter and I lit the damn thing and watched it burn.
I sat there reflecting over my entire life I was completely grateful for the people I did have and all that they did for me I even still love my parents even though I know they hate me still they were there for me through it all..so I’m happy for the time I got to spend with them I hope they continue to live long lives.
……but none of that matters anymore I take the gun and I hold it up to my head and I say.
Me: Thank you everyone for all that you did for me but I’m gonna take care of the problem for real this time I hope you all can forgive me and goodbye…
Then I pull the trigger…
THEN END
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