McShane

The year was 2006. We plannned a family camping trip for me and my dad and my brother in the woods of Maine. We thought we would have a fun time by tenting, drinking and making fires.
My brother was a terrible swimmer. He was in an accident on his bike, and had several screws inserted into his arm. This made him sink when you put him in the water. When we got to the riverbank, we realized that we forgot to pack his lifejacket and we almost turned around and went home. Suddenly, we saw something mysterious on the ground.
"What is that?" I said
it was a lifejacket. It was faded green, had 4 pockets, and a patch of fuzz on front. On the back it said "McShane" (written in marker).
"Who is McShane?" I said
"hopefully he is someone who can swim" said my brother, putting on the vest and stocking the pockets. It fit him perfectly... almost too perfectly...
Our first day down the river was uneventful. We made it to our favorite camp-site, "Baby's Grave", almost unscathed. That night, we sat around the camp fire, polished off a few 30 racks, a 40 of jack, 2 boxes of wine and told our own spooky stories.
Everything was being normal, but then I saw my brother's eyes darting back and forth behind me and his face was very white.
"What are you looking at?" I said
"I thought I saw something moving in the woods" he said. He got a stick and lit it on fire like a torch. "Who's out there"
We heard nothing, and saw nothing. We picked up handfuls of rocks and fired 100-200 warning shots into the woods, but nothing in the forest stirred. We eventually assured outself that our atacker was nothing more than a common field mouse, and passed out around the fire.
The next morning, we awoke to a mysterious sight. All our paddles and one of our canoe's was gone, and on the ground there was red liquid
"What is that?" I said
"Looks like blood" said my brother, dipping his finger and tasting it. "no, its red wine"
The fluid was arranged to spell a message... "MCSHANE". Now we were really spooked.
We decided the most reasonable course of action was to leave immediately. We packed up all our beers and hopped into our remaining boat. We floated along for ~12 hours, and nearly depleted our sustinance. We were picked up by a forest ranger somewhere far down the river. He beckoned us over and offered to drive us back to our car. in the process of packing up, he caught site of the lifevest.
"Mcshane..." he said
"Oh, yeah, we picked that up when we put in", said my dad.
the ranger tossed the lifejacket in the river, chugged his drink and hollered "Get in boys, we gotta go..."
On the ride home, he told us about the story of McShane
"Back in 1970 there was a group came down this river led by a man named McShane. They all had on those green lifevests like the one you was wearin, but somethin was off about em. They all seemed, spooked! Anyway, I didn't think nothin off it. Buncha city slickers out on the river for their first time gonna be a little spooked with talk of bears n mountain lions, n poinson snakes. 'Have a nice run I told em', meet you folks bout 20 miles southa here sunday evenin
But them there never did show up, least not alive that is. No, all what ever came floatin down the river that sunday was a groupa skeltons. each wearin one of those green vests with McShane written right on the back on em."
Suddenly I realized we'd missed our turn.
"where are we going" I said.
"We're going home " said the ranger.
Suddenly I realized why we were all sitting in the back of his truck... I hadn't noticed before, but we were caged in!
I peered through the cage at the Ranger. I hadn't noticed before, but he was wearing a green lifevest. Written on the back of it was... "McShane".
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:English Class Failure
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep