FSTDT - The Lost Quote

Hello, I am [NAME REDACTED]. No seriously, my last name is actually Redacted.
Anyhow, so I don't get offtrack, I had an account on this site called FSTDT. It is a site where people post quotes and news reports about peculiar/odd/sometimes dangerous people, most are just odd though.
You may be asking yourself "Why would you quit?"...well I will tell you why soon.
It all started when I decided to go to a local thrift shop. When I went there, I saw a old dude with a MAJESTIC set of teeth, a white beard, and old dude hair.
He grabbed my leg and nearly made me trip! Thankfully, I looked at him, and he told me: "Do ya want this CD I got boy!?!" I said sure, because I once got a cursed game by one of these people, sold it on eBay, and got enough money to kill the evil entity by throwing the MOOLAH at it! Wooh!
Anyway, I bought the CD (It cost 3 dollars) and it had a blank cover.
When I looked inside, there was only a 100 percent white CD with red text saying "ThE lOsT qUoTe" on it.
I thought that it was a load of malarkey with cheese, so I decided to insert it into my computer. What I didn't know, is that this would trap me in a peculiar world, and then get me rich (like my previous CD).
When I loaded it up through the CD, I saw a blue link labeled "UrWrstNghtmre666" and the quote said: "If you're seeing this, then you're not just next, NOT EVEN DOUBLE NEXT, But......TRIPLE NEXT! Be afraid reader, as clicking on my username shall damn ye to the worst possible thing that I can come up with! No, not that. Or that...OK fine it's just having to survive 3 random people who got quoted on this site. GOOD LUCK!".
I was scared. I was super duper scared. I vomited in the toilet even though the only thing I ate today was cereal. But since I am also a dumbass to heart and soul, I clicked on the link.
I passed out for 30 or so seconds, I then WOKE (Oh no!) up. I was on an island in the middle of nowhere. But there was 3 people near me.
These are the people: Aschfly from Conservapedia, SHOUTY MABEL from ALLOD, and (oddly enough), anon-e-moose (even though he never got quoted).
The second MABEL started talking I was afraid that I was going to be deaf, but anon-e-moose karate kicked her like Chuck Norris (who I would've preferred instead of MABEL).
(DIALOG FOR CONTEXT):
Anon: You're too loud Mabel! Even Stuart Ashens can bloody hear it!
MABEL: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IM TALKING NORMALLY!
Anon: I'm pretty sure that even Don-Old Fart can hear you!
MABEL and Aschfly at the same time: I LOVE TRUMP, DON'T CALL HIM THAT!
(Dialog Over)
Anyhow, after having to listen for 5 (dear gosh) minutes of them rambling (albeit with anon keeping me sane), I decided to give the three of us a plan.
(Dialog starts)
Name: Why don't we get resources to potentially escape the island? Does anyone here have something sharp?
MABEL: WELL THE CHURCH I WAS AT TOLD ME MAH PERSONALITY IS SHARP!
Name: No...
Anon: Maybe we could call 999? (The island isn't close to the UK btw)
Name: That COULD help, but the signal isn't working...
Aschfly: I got a shovel for "article making purposes"!
Name: Wh-wh-wha!?!?!? At least we have a shovel.
(Dialog Ends)
After Aschfly pulled out his shovel (from his oddly small pants pocket), we started to dig on the island. We found a bottle with these words on it "Get everyone on the island to say these words, and all ye shall be free" but the words were..well...they were "BARB LEFT ME FOR TRUMP".
I knew that this was seemingly going to be impossible, since the only loud person here was MABEL, so I decided to help the other people here out.
(Dialog Starts)
Name: Let's practice *ahem* "being loud"
MABEL: I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT, I HAVE BE-
Name: Shush!
MABEL: HUH. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "SHUSH", WAS THAT AN ANGEL BLOWING MY SHOULDER?
Name: Anyhow, to be loud, imagine that someone was pointing a gun at you, and they were forcing you to say those words.
Anon: Guns? Aren't they fake or something!?!?! X3 (Note: It's pronounced ecks-three)
Aschfly: In my comically small pocket, there is 500 guns, so this will be pretty easy...
Anon: 500 GUNS?!?!?!?! Wake me up! WAKE me up! WAKE ME UUUUUUUUUP! (Before you go-go)
(Dialog Ends)
Unfortunately, Aschfly looked dumb holding his gun, and except for anon (because he has not seen someone holding a gun IRL before) we just laughed.
But then we started to dig again, and we found a button with "START QUIZ" on it. Anon was the first to press it, on accident while he tripped.
(Dialog Starts)
Anon: YULP! *Trips*
Anon lands on start button*
Mysterious Voice: Hello! You just activated the other option Also Known As the FSTDT quiz!
Aschfly, Name, and MABEL: WHAT?
Mysterious Voice: Ok, I will explain it. FSTDT has a lot of lore, even for a site which is meant to be goofy quotes. First person to get all questions leave the island and get 50K dolla dolla bills. The losers DIE!
MABEL, Aschfly, and Name: OH NO!
Mysterious Voice: Question One: What does the F in FSTDT stand for? A) Funky B) Fundie C) Friendly D) None of the above.
Name, Anon, MABEL: Fundie!
Aschfly: Friendly!
Mysterious Voice: Uh-oh! Aschfly got it WRONG! So he will be stuck on the island!
Aschfly: Can I still mak-
Mysterious Voice: NO!
Aschfly: Oh.
(Dialog Ends)
The voice than gave us 8 more questions, which we were good at, but the final question was seemingly impossible!
(Dialog Starts)
Mysterious Voice: Question 10: What was the FIRST comment EVER on FSTDT? A) DERP B) What Are They Thinking? C) This is the wrong answer! or D) None Of The Above.
All 4 of us at the same time: LET'S JUST SHOOT THE DANG THING IF IT'S GOING TO GIVE US STUFF LIKE THI-
(Dialog Ends)
But then the Mysterious Voice revealed itself (probably so it wouldn't get shot)...it was Jesus.
So y'know what all 4 of us did? We bribed Jesus so that we could get off the island.
I then appeared back in my home, but the quote now said: "Man, you a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH. If I was you I would've gone the manly way and shot him. Eh, but escape is still escape. Also, delete your account unless if you want this to happen again. Taddlydoobop. Bye-bye!".
I deleted my account. I also got the money! YAY!!!!!!!!!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.