nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Consciousness

Consciousness is the state of being "conscious". Consciousness can be reached through the use of psychotropic substances. Aspects of consciousness can include - euphoria, closed eye visuals, working as a wage slave, trip pin' balls, vomiting, and avoidance of the internet.
==Four States of Consciousness==
===Work===
Time slows down someone is talking to you. It’s your boss. She’s not coming in today, you have to do her work. Yes - YOU. Don’t feel sorry for yourself, these cubicle walls have no answers, regardless of how many stupid pictures you put on them. Beer is not the answer. The internet is not the answer. Start typing your next report, start typing your bosses report. Now. NOW.
===Sex===
In your bedroom you try to concentrate on not concentrating. Don’t think about an ex-girlfriend, or ex-boyfriend. Don’t look around. Yes, your dog is watching you. What do you think the dog is thinking? No, don’t think about that, just enjoy. Don’t look at the ceiling- what are you some kind of bible pusher? The action is right in front of you. Okay, switch position, that’s right, don’t want anyone getting bored. Try to get to that respectable twenty minute mark. It’s not a special night, an anniversary, or birthday or anything, so no need to make this a marathon. Did I pay the electric bill this month? STOP THAT! Sorry, okay almost finished here…and- off to the bathroom.
===Sleep===
You drift off and you're dreaming. Dead people are there mixed in with living people. Proportions are all screwy, people talk to you, right in your face and you don’t hear them. They make a sound, but your not listening, even when you try to. Events of the past transpire in incorrect geographical locations, people who don’t know each other are talking to each other. Sometimes women or men you want to sleep with are making love to you. Even better, men or women you don’t know are making love to you. You're naked in a school hallway, you're doing what you do all day when you're not asleep. Sometimes you're conscious that what you're seeing is not real, other times it seems pretty real to you. Either way, you wish it would never end.
===Driving===
The car is almost another set of clothes. You're in it everyday. You won’t even walk to the store, you get in the car. You’ve had sex in your clothes, and you’ve had sex in your car. Driving to get to work, sex, or sleep. Driving to get away from work, sex or sleep. The seatbelt is a metaphor for your subconscious. You're unstationary, you're making progress, even when you're not explicitly doing something.
Category:Psychology
Conservative Reform Alliance Party

The Conservative Reform Alliance Party (C.R.A.P.) was a Canadian political party before it was merged with the Progressive Conservatives to form the "modern" Conservative Party (Also known as the "reformatories") . 
In year 105 B.C., their most populat year, C.R.A.P. had run as the Canadian Ruptured Assholes Party and won 3 seats. However, it is quite ironic how ruptured assholes can be seated so comfortably in the parliament.
==Ideology==
C.R.A.P. was the first Canadian Party that has nothing to do with Conservatism, Socialism, or Liberalism. Simply put, it is simply a Party to promote the use of Canadian anuses. C.R.A.P. cannot be classified using the general "left-wing" or "right-wing" system. However, if it was forced to be classified as such, the result would probably be as shown in the following diagram.
thumb|classification of the C.R.A.P.
Specifically, C.R.A.P. contains the following goals:
*To create the most comfortable asshole use by rupturing them in a non-harmful way.
*To be seated as comfortably as possible, even in the parliament.
*To increase hip use so that the chances of recovery for the ruptured asshole is minimal.
==History==
Origianlly created in 205 BC by a few high school students and their teacher who like to light their farts on fire, it progressively gained more seats through the following century. The students' party was confiscated by their teacher Preston Manning and he took full credit of the party since it was rising in popularity.
*205 BC: 1 seat
*185 BC: 1 seat
*153 BC: 1/2 seat
*128 BC: 2 seats (some other dude ruptured his asshole on purpose)
*127 BC: 1 seat (that dude died of internal bleeding in his anus)
*113 BC: 2 seats (that dude was revived for some reason)
*105 BC: 3 seats (some stupid lawyer seat on a stake and ruptured his asshole, and joined the party)
After 105 BC, however, the C.R.A.P. suffered a serious decline in there number of seats.
*104 BC: 0 seats (the seats were made out of wood instead of stone that year. The Party members died of splinters in their assholes.)
No one else joined the party afterwards, and they merged with their twin, the more moderate Progressive Conservatives in 100 BC.
== See also ==
* Liberal Party
* Reform Party
* Conservative Party of Canada
* Appliance Party
* Repressive Preservative Party
Category:Political parties in Canada
Conservatory Party

The Conservatory Party of Great Britain is the oldest political organisations in Europe. Often shortened to Tories, members hold to a number of core, central beliefs which ensure their unpopularity amongst pinkos:
*Small government: the heating bills of a large conservatory are enormous - a smaller one will cost the people less.
*Low taxes: Tories are often short and cannot jump over high taxes. They therefore promote a policy of low taxes which hinders the tall majority but has won the lasting support of the short.
*Laura Norder: possibly the most popular Tory of all time, (apart from Margaret Thatcher of course), who recently revealed herself to be "anyone's, really" after suspicions of an affair with Tony Blair were confirmed
*Political incorrectness: fighting the "culture of political correctness" through the tactically tactless deployment of racist jokes and deportation of wheelchair users.
*Just say 'Yes!' to fraud and corruption. (See David Davis).
*Foreign affairs: From 13 July 2016 (when Theresa May became leader), the Tories are officially pro-Russia and pro-Putin.
*Lock 'em all up: and forget about the prison bill
*The Tory dynasty began in 1236, when after a fine game of nun bashing, the 4th earl of Bognor decided to create a party for aristocrats.
Although the Tories have had policies such as Margaret Thatcher's attempt to end sociology and heal Augusto Pinochet, today it is the goal of the party to cause maximum upset and annoyance to liberals, humans, trade unionists and Oscar Wilde, irrespective of the damage it does their electile potency.
The Tories have also been associated in creating a devil spawn, scarring children's minds forevermore. They accomplished this under John Major. Her name? Ann Widdecombe
Recently the party has been forced to admit that many people have never voted for them.
==Famous Tories:==
*Margaret Thatcher
*Winston Churchill
*John Redwood
*Satan
*Boris Johnson
*Michael Howard
*Lord Sauron
*Tony Blair
*Wicked Witch of the West
*David Cameron
*Vladimir Putin
==Rival Parties==
Category:Politics of the United Kingdom
Category:People with a giant portrait of Vladimir Putin on their walls
Contempt

What the fuck are you looking up the meaning of contempt for? You must be some kind of moron if you don't know what contempt means. Go away.
==Meaning of contempt==
Okay, since you are a persistent idiot, I will explain it to you in little words so that you can understand know what I mean. Contempt is the feeling people get when they encounter meet an utter cretin. It the normal emotional response of superiority better-nessOh I give up, I don't know why I am even trying to simplify this for you, you're not even worth the time. Just go away. and disdain felt by normal people when they come across a feeble and pathetic loser like you.
A simpleton like you will be familiar with the look of contempt. Contempt is the look of disgust on other peoples faces that has taught you to stop bothering the beautiful and intelligent people with your asinine drivel.
The fear of their contempt and rejection has driven you to become the socially insecure, isolated loner they you are, with nothing better to do with your time than look up the meaning of contempt on an on-line spoof encyclopaedia. I mean what a feeble and pathetic person you must be. I'm glad you avoid going out in public, as just the act of thinking about how stultifyingly stupid and boring you are really turns my stomach.
==Feelings of contempt==
I'm sure an individual as feeble minded and abject as yourself will have had few opportunities to experience the feeling of contempt, as there are certainly few people on this earth as tediously witless as you are.
Maybe you felt contempt for the weak, nerdy uncoordinated kid who was last to be picked for school sports, but no, you were probably too busy experiencing relief that it wasn't you for a change.
==Beneath contempt==
The ultimate expression of contempt is the complete blank. You know the time you foolishly tried to say hi to one of the cool people, but they completely ignored you, causing you to discover new depths of self pity as their friends all laughed at you.
The ultimate expression of complete contempt happens occasionally when a witlessly uncool idiot like you plucks up the courage to ask a super fit and cool person out on a date only to receive a total blanking in response.
==Resentment==
Resentment is the usual response to contempt. Admit it, when superior people show you their contempt, you get all pissy and dwell on the unfairness of it all. Why do the cool people always humiliate you with their open contempt on the rare occasions that they even notice you? I'll tell you why, because they want you to go away.
==Notes==
==See also==
*Emotion
*Superiority
*Scum
Category:Self-reference
Category:Emotion
Category:Things controlled by Jews
Continent

In geology, a continent is a vast chunk of rock and dirt which floats on the watery surface of the planets Earth and Neptune, much as a bar of Ivory™ soap floats in a tub full of molten mercury. 
==Continental drift==
According to Continental Drift, the vast majority of Earth's continents are anchored firmly to the oceanic floor by immense cast-iron anchors. However, the continent of California has recently lost its moral foundation and is currently drifting to the left at alarming speed. As a result, California is expected to collide with the continent of Japan sometime within the next few million years. The resulting devastation is expected to be minimal, however, because both continents have legally mandated the installation of airbags for all vehicles, escalators, amusement park rides, and individual pedestrians.
==Continental drip==
It is a well established fact that all peninsulas point in a southernly direction. There are two (and only two) competing theories as to why.
#In 4004 BCE the continents were hastily painted onto the Earth's surface. 
#Something to do with elections.
==Continental breakfast==
A continental breakfast is a light meal served between 2:00 and 3:00 AM (on most continents) and usually consists of a cup of coffee, an English muffin with artificial lard-flavored spread and raspberry preserves, a fancy Danish pastry, a cheez omelet, several dozen doughnuts, a lightly toasted buffalo on a stick, an industrial-sized vat of unflavored Jell-O™, and one fortune cookie.
==Continental Congress==
In 1703, the Un-united Colonial Outposts of America sent a delegation to Hawaii in order to participate in a representative body calling for a reunification of all continents, to be called Pangaea 2. However, since the Hawaiian Islands had yet to be discovered, none of the invited delegates managed to show up on time and the ambitious plan was put on indefinite hold. 
==Continental divide==
All known continents are divided into two main sections: red states and blue states. This type of polarization has been shown to be instrumental in the fragmentation of continents, and is widely blamed for the political dissolution of Pangaea 1-B during the early Mesozoic era.
==Apocryphal list of additional (suspected) continents==
*California
*Japan
*Hawaii
*Cuba
*Puerto Rico
*Oceania
*Austria
*Iceland
*Mars
*Hell
*Hyrule
*Eastasia
*Your mom (she's so fat)
==See also==
*ICBM
Category:Geology
Category:Geography
Category:Vital articles
es:Continente
Contrary to popular belief

The phrase "Contrary to popular belief" signifies things, which, contrary to popular belief, are not contrary to popular belief. Also contrary to popular belief, it does not signify things that actually are contrary to popular belief.
==History of the phrase==
===Humble beginnings===
The phrase was first used by Org, while mammoth hunting, in the form of "grunt, grunt-grunt snort grunt". This actually meant "Me tired. Me hungry." but was mistaken for "you're supposed to aim for the left nostril, you morons". Witnesses say that a spear subsequently hit Org, contrary to popular belief, not in the left, but right nostril.
===Tour De France===
It then made its way into the vocabulary of French aristocracy in the form of "tu aller fsogder, tu aller orjer, tu aller monder gouver" meaning you're all wrong, you all suck, you all should just give up. From there, it descended into the people in the form of "Vive la France" meaning, contrary to popular belief, not "Let's go on a conquering spree", but "I disagree". From their the aristocracy readopted it in the form of "contrez une stupide personnes opinoines", meaning, "why is everyone around me a dumbass?"
===Across the Straight===
The phrase then decided to cross the English channel. Due to seasickness, it got transformed into: "you bloody chavs, you're wrong, you moronic dumbasses!!"
This spread into the U.S.
However, in 1920, representatives of the newly formed Humane Society objected that that phrase was discriminatory against animals and got Congress to change "you bloody chavs" to "you fucking niggers". Then, in 1950, it was claimed as racist and changed to its current form.
==The phrase in literature==
Contrary to popular belief, this phrase is not often used in literature. The only literary works in which it was found are:
*An Uncyclopedia article
*A comment from Oscar Wilde, in Uncyclopedia
*A comment from Oscar Wilde, in his book about grey-tone portraits (contrary to popular belief, the portraits were not of Dorian, but by Dorian).
==Contrary to popular belief code==
Some people believe that the phrase contains all information that is, was, or will be. This is called the contrary to popular belief code. Originally people searched for meaning in the phrase without a code, leading to the creation of books commenting on the phrase. Then, when that means was exhausted, someone translated the phrase into Hebrew and realized that they could predict assasinations of country leaders with it.
category:phrases
Controlled burn

A controlled burn is a burn that is controlled. Most controlled burns burn down houses, Grues, and Wikipedia pages, although some controlled burns may extend to burn prairies and forests. Nobody cares about the effect controlled burns, although they have been meticulously and painfully proven to kill plants.
==Proof that controlled burns burn down plants==
# Let x be the set of all live plants. x is not a member of itself, since a set isn't a plant.
# Let y be the set of all dead plants. y is not a member of itself, since a set isn't a plant.
# x \cup y is the set of all plants. Except Schrödinger's plant, which is neither dead nor alive. But those don't exist.
# A fire erupted yesterday. A blade of grass is now dead. The grass is in x \cup y but not x, so it must be in y, meaning it is dead.
# Through a proof that won't fit in my margin...
# The fire killed the grass.
==How to start one==
# Make sure that you are running Windows.
# Run the Controlled Burn Starter. However, there is no guarantee that it will run properly. 
# Make sure you have fuel. Gas from cars works well, although grues are better.
# Go home to get dressed.
# Come back and light the fire.
==Effects==
The effects of controlling a fire are debatable. Some say that it is good to destroy vegetation, while others think that it is harmful. The outcomes are discussed below.
* Best case: Your fire refuses to light, the grue runs away, and nothing happens.
* Worse than best case: You light the grue, it burns some vegetation, and then the grue eats you.
* Mediocre case: You light the grue, and then the grue jumps out and eats you. You're on fire.
* Better than worst case: Before you light the fire, the grue eats you.
* Worst case: While purchasing a grue, the grue eats you.
==Notable controlled fires==
* Crappypedia controlled fire, in which feces was used to light fires (above).
* US controlled fire, in which a huge fire extinguisher was used to put out a fire across the entire Great Plains.
* US 666 fire: Asphalt can burn! 
==Are there controlled fires in your area?==
I don't think there are any here. There may be--AAAAAAA!!! I'm burning! GET THE FIRE OUT NOW! OW! I'VE BEEN EATEN BY A GRUE!
==Footnotes==
Category:Fire
Category:Nature
Category:Natural hazards
Cooties

Cooties is a Sexually Transmitted Disease that is passed instantaneously when physical contact with an infected individual of the opposite sex occurs, attaching itself to your skin, the disease then spreads into your bloodstream. Symptoms include ridicule, exclusion from peers and scabby encrusted sores. There is no cure for the disease, but if you are infected it is strongly recommended to find a sharp piece of metal and hammering it into your skull before you infect your friends and family. Don’t treat people with cooties like lesser people, because they're not even people, they're scum.
NOTE: Cootie shots are only 69% effective. They are best used in conjunction with other forms of protection, such as chastity belts and muzzles. Also, there are allegations that these shots are propagated by the FBI for the purpose of mind control, as proven in an episode of Mythbusters.
== Symptoms ==
*Oozing scabs around the area of contact.
*Bleeding of eyes and ears.
*Burning sensation around the area of contact during urination.
*Sudden sexuality such as gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
*Giggling, loss of hair, depression, repeated watching of "The Breakfast Club" and "A Walk to Remember", are also common symptoms.
*Sudden desire to smoke meth in a playground during first grade recess
==Protecting yourself from infection==
# Limit any physical contact with other humans to a minimum. If you are worried about a person with cooties coming too close, a high powered rifle does the trick. If you come into contact with a person you are sure doesn’t have cooties, beat them into submission to stop them from touching you in case they do contract the disease in the future.
# Cooties attaches itself to your skin, so the next step is to get rid of your epidermal layer. A cheese grater or vegetable peeler comes in handy with this. The skin you remove can also be used for other purposes such as home insulation. In fact...
# You will need housing far away from society to avoid contact with fellow humans. A forest or swamp can easily be transformed into a home. Building a hut is a key to avoid freezing to death. Always remember to bring food and water, which is important for survival.
# Make a protective suit as a further precaution in case the disease mutates. If you don’t have access to a suit you can construct one out of old pieces of plastic and rubber condoms. Avoid used condoms.
# Get Anti-Cootie Spray
# Talk to your school counselor or doctor about cootie shots, cootie insurance, or cootie shields.
== Cooties in biology ==
Cooties in the female are produced in the breast. Women with large busts produce a higher amount of cootie bacteria in the bloodstream. These bacteria attach themselves to the red blood cells in the body, and are absorbed into the skin. Once the bacteria have been absorbed into the skin, they can be transferred to the opposite sex. Cooties can also be spread in the same way as STDs. Applicable prevention techniques *ahem* are outside the scope of this article.
Category:Sexually transmitted disease
simple:Cooties
Copper

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for gold? 
Copper is the seventh element on the periodic table. Unique among elements, copper is composed of a nucleus of 6 elements surrounded by a circle of lies. Copper has been used throughout history, from weapons of war to weapons of cooking, such as pots, pans, pot lids, pan lids, etc.
==History==
Copper was first discovered by rabid pygmies in the early 20th century. The pygmies were trying to build a low-yield atomic weapon, but they accidentally added an extra ingredient, "copper ore," named after its coppery color, and obtained copper instead. Some have tried to use copper as a nail file. Since this did not work, they instead tried to make a harder metal out of a concoction of old, used keyboard buttons. This became modern sandpaper.
Copper, through Time travel into the past, was strengthened in the Roman Empire using Superawesomenium. Before copper was weak, and sad, but through the immortal God-King George Washington sacrificing himself, copper went from a weak sad metal to a useless sad metal and was used throughout history usually by accident.
==Uses==
===Weaponry===
Copper is the only thing more dangerous than Howard Stern. Copper weapons were directly responsible for the success of America during World War II, as the U.S. had a massive copper mine in Washington D.C.. An unfortunate side effect of this mine is that the entire U.S. East Coast now smells like fish, a smell referred to as The Seventh-Inning Stretch.
Copper is banned by all major governments because of its destructive effects. Merely owning a pound of copper can be considered a crime against humanity.
===Cookware===
Copper is great for stewing, braising, frying, or stir-frying fish, as the horrible stench produced by the copper-colored metal masks the fishy taste of the fish.
===To denote losers===
Copper medals are hung around the necks of people who probably really did a piss-poor job at something but still managed to come in third, often because no one good competed. These are called bronze medals, but they are merely old, dented copper pan lids, perhaps donated for recycling.
===Coinage===
Copper is also used in the minting of coins, such as the U.S. penny. All these copper coins represent an amount of money that is essentially zero. Copper coins have the following uses:
*You can throw them on the pavement to identify old Jews, who are the only ones who will bend down to pick them up.
*You can deposit them in bowls at the check-out line so that other shoppers can use them to pay their bill exactly, in case the cashier is a stickler.
*People who don't understand what fuses do can insert a copper coin into a fuse box to get the lights back on.
*You can make a wish and toss them into a fountain, to turn the water green.
*You can insert them in a parking meter, toll basket, or vending machine to see if it mistakes them for something of value.
Most of these uses let you act as though you're unconcerned about money, as though you had a lot of it. Expressed in pennies, you probably do have.
Category:Money
Category:Metals
Category:Transition metals
Category:Vital articles
zh:銅
cs:Měď
pl:Miedź
pt:Cobre