nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
That thing

That thing is amazing. Seriously, it's incredible. It's the best thing in the world, and you're the only person who can't see it.
That thing is unbelievable! It's the most amazing, spectacular, and wonderful object in the universe! People come from all over the globe to see that thing! People have been buying tickets to see that thing on eBay for over ten thousand dollars! Imagine Samuel L. Jackson, Steve McQueen, and That Guy playing poker in a room and God comes in with a never ending plate of nachos; the good ones, too, not the ones your mom makes that's just corn chips with microwaved velveeta poured on them, no the good kind at that mexican resturant. Not that mexican resturant, the other one, you know, with that entree you always get. That doesn't even come close to how amazing That Thing is.
==Description of that thing==
That thing is too good for words to describe. People have said that it is good, but that was such an understatement that they were arrested and thrown down a well. One could say it is better than nothing, but that is also an understatement.
Scientists are currently working on creating a new word that can describe it. The project will take an estimated forty-six billion dollars to complete, but most people believe it is well worth it. Those that don't are heartless, cold bastards who will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.
==How that thing got here==
No one is entirely sure how that thing got here. Some historians believe that is was created accidentally by Oprah Winfrey and a wildebeast playing ping-pong, but others fail to see how this could lead to its creation. It has been scientifically proven that house flies know the answer, but since we can't communicate with them, or read their minds, we won't be able to get it from them.
==How to get That Thing==
The only known way is to have a hippo send it to you. But beware, because the minute you get it, he'll stop by like every five minutes asking "Ya get that thing I sent ya?"
==So, it's here. What do we do now?==
Many people have chosen to worship that thing, while others are bent on destroying it. Those who try to destroy it are generally smited as soon as they come within three nautical miles of it, due to its awesome power.
Category:Things that are definitely out to get you
Category:Things you will never have
That time I accidentally beheaded a queen during my sojourn in France

Dude, those fucking Jacobins were vicious. Like, WTF?
==So there I was==
hanging out with my friend Farm Boy in fucking 18th Century France, doing my Solid Snake thing with the wine and the baguettes, right? Like, badass tourist shit.
==and this fucking cake==
looked fucking delicious. So I said "Can me and Farm Boy have some of that shit?"
And the royal chef yells "NON!"
WTF?? But then the queen overheard and she says "Shit, Pierre, let them eat cake."
==and then these fucking Jacobins==
burst out of the Bastille, French musk all over the place, and they guillotine her fucking head off!!
==so I pulled out my==
passport and said "Whoa, not French, guys, not fucking French." And then they try to guillotine me, too! WTF?
I barely got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial.
No, seriously. I accidentally got that bitch decapitated.
==See also==
*That time I accidentally launched a thousand ships with my face during my sojourn in Troy
Category:My sojourn
Category:Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
That time I accidentally launched a thousand ships with my face during my sojourn in Troy

Dude, that fucking fleet was huge. Like, WTF?
== So there I was ==
camped out in the fucking Trojan palace, doing my Cleopatra thing with Paris and feeding him grapes, right? Like, seductress badass shit.
== and this fucking wooden horse ==
bursts out from the shore, varnish all over the place, and sits in front of the gates, like "Hey, you want a big wooden horse?"
And I was like "Uh, no." But Hector was like "FUCK YES."
And then all these fucking Greeks jump out, and instead of going for me, they make a Greekline straight for Hector.
== so one of them pulls out his ==
sword and cuts the shit out of him, and he drags his body around the city walls with a chariot! WTF?
He nearly got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial. But he didn't. He was dead.
But, seriously. I accidentally launched those ships with my face.
== See also ==
* Trojan War
* That time I was nearly raped by a yak during my sojourn in Canada
Category:My sojourn
Category:Greece
That time I accidentally miscalculated the date of creation during my sojourn in London

Dude, that fucking history book was huge. Like, WTF?
==So there I, James Ussher, was==
bible reading in the fucking seminary, doing my Historian thing with the theology shit and the genealogies. Like, Irish bishop badass shit.
==And these fucking genealogical passages==
burst out of the bible, inspiration all over the place, and instead of going in the trash, they make a beeline straight for my mind.
==So I pulled out my==
pen and added & harmonized the shit out of the thing, and I wind up writing the history of the world. WTF?
I barely got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial. 
But seriously, I accidentally miscalculated the creation date of the universe to September 20th, 4004 b.c.
==See Also==
*Ussher
*That time I was nearly raped by a yak during my sojourn in Canada
Category:My sojourn
Category:Scientific theories
Category:Religious philosophy
Category:Time
Category:London
That time I accidentally nuked Hiroshima during my sojourn to Japan

Dude, that fucking explosion was huge. Like, WTF?
==So there I was==
riding in the back of a B-29 named the "", doing my back-seat piloting thing with my new drinking buddy , when my legs start to cramp up a little.
==so I pull out my==
left leg, curse my luck, and lean over to get pour myself another glass of Paul's "coffee" when my knee accidentally presses a button...
==and this bomb==
falls off the plane, weaving back and forth all over the place, and instead of drifting on the wind like a proper little boy's Japanese box-kite it makes a bombline straight toward a city far below. Seconds later, KABOOM! and the sky lights up like the fucking fourth of July at a county fair,
==so I say "goddamn it all to hell"==
and go up front to tell Paul, and Tibbets was all like "WTF?!"
We barely got away with work-related extensor carpi radialis longus shock wave damage, a persistent high-pitched ringing in the ears, and trace radiation burns. 
No, seriously. I nuked Hiroshima.
==See also==
*That time I accidentally launched a thousand ships with my face during my sojourn in Troy
Category:My sojourn
Category:World War II
Category:Aviators
Category:Dicks
Category:Weapons of Mass Destruction
Category:Japan
Category:Explosives
Category:USA's Next Target
That time I accidentally took a sojourn in North Dakota during my sojourn in South Dakota

Dude, that fucking border was hardly noticable. Like, WTF?
== So there I was ==
driving over to South Dakota to look at Mount Rushmore.
== and I decided ==
to see if there was anything else worth seeing in the state and all of a sudden, I saw this sign that said "Welcome to North Dakota". WTF?
== so I pulled out my ==
travel map to figure out where the fuck I was.
I barely got back to my house with an empty tank of gas and a lost sense of direction.
==No, seriously.== 
I accidentally went into North Dakota while visiting South Dakota.
==See Also==
*North Dakota
*South Dakota
Category:My sojourn
Category:North Dakota
Category:South Dakota
That time I didn't appreciate your attitude towards my potato chip situation during my sojourn in Panera

Dude, my potato chips were fucking soggy. Like, WTF?
==So there I was==
eating my fucking lunch, doing my ham and cheese sandwhich thing with a bag of Crunchers, mopeing about my pitiful excuse of a life, right? Like, pathetic lame-ass shit.
==and then fucking you==
burst out of nowhere, musk all over the place, and instead of being careful, you made a trashline towards me and spilled water on my basket of Crunchers.
==so I lost my==
temper and yelled at you for being an inconsiderate son of a bitch, and you laughed at me! WTF?
I barely let you get away without apologizing to me and buying me another goddamn bag.
No, seriously. You really pissed me off that day.
==See also==
*That time I was nearly raped by a yak during my sojourn in Canada
*I don't appreciate your attitude towards my potato chip situation
*An article that contains nothing but my potato chip situation
*Plagiarism
Category:Articles written in the first personCategory:My sojourn
That time I got pushed into bananas during my sojourn in Mario Kart

Dude, that fucking banana was huge. Like, WTF?
==So there I was==
racing on Mario Kart, doing my Toad thing with the racing shit and the Argos, right? Like, Super Mario Brothers badass shit.
==and Bowser==
bursts out of the tracks, musk all over the place, and instead of going for Mama Luigi, he throws a banana at me.
==And I get pushed.==
I spin out. I make the whoo-whooo-whooooo-whooooooooo-whoooooooooooo sound.
I barely got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial.
No, seriously. I really got pushed into bananas.
==See also==
*That time I was nearly raped by a yak during my sojourn in Canada
*Murphy's Law
*Pessimism
Category:Articles written in the first person
Category:Video games
Category:My sojourn
Category:Articles that will probably never get featured, despite their popularity among Uncyclopedians
Category:Further proof that Uncyclopedia is the worst
Category:Bovines
Category:Crikey!
Category:Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
Category:Articles that are NOT overreacting
Category:Nintendo
Category:Mario
That time I nearly X during my sojourn in a Y

Dude, that fucking thing was huge. Like, WTF?
== So there I was ==
<verb>ing my <noun>, doing my <noun> thing with this <verb> shit and the <noun>, right? Like, <job title> badass shit.
== and this fucking <noun> ==
bursts out of the trees, <noun>ing all over the place, and instead of going for these tiny <noun>, he goes straight for me.
== so I pulled out my ==
<noun> and start shooting like a madman, and it tries to <verb> me! WTF?
I barely got away with a major <medical term for a common injury> and a severed <anatomical term for a well-known body part>.
No, seriously. I really <description of what I did>
Category:My sojourn
Category:Self-reference
That time I nearly drowned during my sojourn on the Titanic

Dude, that fucking thing was huge. It was even . Like, WTF?
 
==So there I was==
sailing along nicely on the biggest and safest ship ever built, just charming the piss out of the chambermaids and drinking all the swells champagne and shit. Like, aristocratic hoity-toity shit.
==and this fucking iceberg==
looms out of the water, moonlight shining off it all over the place, and instead of going for the ship's bow and the fancy swells it slips along the water and makes an icebergline straight towards me.
==so I pulled out my elbows==
and elbowed my way onto the first lifeboat going over the side, even though I'm a guy and people started yelling that I was a fucking pussy, WTF?
I barely got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial. 
No, seriously. An iceberg nearly drowned me.
.
 
 
 
 
 
==See also==
That time some prick nearly drowned us all during his sojourn on the Titanic
category:My sojourn
category:1910s
category:Transportation
Category:Natural hazards
Category:Marine navigation
Category:Things That Are Not Hot
Category:Biggest Fuck-Ups of All Time
Category:Under Attack
Category:Annoying
Category:Disasters
Category:Epic Fail
That time I nearly got an article featured by the community during my sojourn in Uncyclopedia

Dude, that fucking article was so close. Like, WTF?
==So there I was==
joining this fucking community on the internet, doing my awesome writer thing with the words and the dramatic irony, right? Like, creative badass shit.
==and this fucking editor==
bursts out of the recent changes, edits all over the article, and instead of going for the qvfd, he makes an editorline straight for VFH.
==so I pulled out my==
for vote and voted the shit out of the thing, when all of a sudden these other editors show up and downvote the hell out of it! WTF?
The article barely got away with a major failed VFH template and a severed writer's ego.
No, seriously. It nearly got featured.
==See Also==
*That time I was nearly raped by a yak during my sojourn in Canada
*That time I was nearly raped by a formula-based running joke during my sojourn in Category:My sojourn
*That time I nearly maed a yuky doody during my sojourn in Canada
Category:Articles written in the first person
Category:My sojourn
That time I nearly maed a yuky doody during my sojourn in Canada

Seriously. I was so fucking close. Like, WTF.
==So there I was==
just camping out and minding my own business, playing with my trains a LOT and all that Commodore Vanderbilt shit, y'know? Like, all this tiring shit, so I layed down for a nap.
==And all of a sudden==
fucking nature decides to call right in my pants. i got worried, and instead of making a shitline for the tp for some reason I just sit there like a dumb bitch.
==...so I pulled down my pants....==
and just let loose all over the ground, and it gets this musk all over the place, as you would expect.
I barely got away with a minor meningococcal septiaemia and some ectroparasitic scabies.
No, seriously. I nearly shit myself.
==See also==
*Last summer in Canada
*My son likes to shit himself too.
*Story's over, fuck off
Category:Tourism in Canada
Category:Poop
Category:Articles written in the first person
Category:Further_proof_that_Uncyclopedia_is_the_worst
Category:My sojourn
Category:Yuky doody
Category:Articles that will probably never get featured, despite their popularity among Uncyclopedians
That time I nearly ran out of loaves and fishes during my sojourn in Bethsaida

Dude, that fucking crowd was huge. Like, WTF?
==So there I was==
stepping off my fucking boat, doing my Christ thing with the walking on the water and the feeding of the hungry, right? Like, Messiah food bank shit.
So I step into Bethsaida and there's like five thousand fucking people yelling "Oh feed us, oh Lord!"
So I pull out my backpack and I see I brought like five fucking loaves of bread and two fucking fish, and I think to myself, I did not plan this very well.
==and these fucking people==
are all over the fucking place, like "Oh, savior, we're so hungry!" And I say "Ummm okay hold on, blessed be the patient or some shit."
So I turn to my friend Farm Boy and I say "Dude, you gotta go run and get some more food for these skinny fucks."
And Farm Boy says "I don't think anything's open, man."
Worthless bitch.
==so I pulled out my==
backpack again and broke one of the loaves in half, and all of a sudden there were loaves and fishes fucking everywhere. It was like a fucking loaf and fish convention for lonely loaves to hook up with hot fishes.
So I yelled "Loaves and fishes for all!" and I sat on a rock so all the sluts could wash my feet with their hair while they chomped down on loaves and fishes.
I fucking rule.
==And then everything was awesome==
Until these fucking assholes nailed me to a god damn cross.
==See also==
*That time I nearly took a sojourn to Canada while I was being raped by a yak
 
Category:My sojourn
Category:Blasphemy
Category:Jesus
That time I nearly raped a yak during my sojourn in Soviet Russia

Dude, that fucking thing saw how huge I was. It was probably like, WTF?
==So there I was==
camping in the fucking woods, doing my Solid Snake thing with the Arctic shit and the huskies, right? Like, lumberjack badass shit.
==and this fucking yak==
bursts out of the trees, musk all over the place, and instead of going for the dogs, I run straight at it.
==so it takes out it's jaws==
and bites the shit out of me, so I try to mount it! He's probably like, WTF?
It barely got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial.
No, seriously. I nearly raped it.
==See also==
*That time I was nearly raped by a yak during my sojourn in Canada
*That time I nearly took a sojourn to Canada while I was being raped by a yak
*the debilitating skin disease I got from battling the undead
*Shynneker
*Bob Dole
 
Category:Articles written in the first person
Category:Russia
Category:Soviet Russia
Category:My sojourn
Category:Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
Category:Further proof that Uncyclopedia is the worst
Category:Bovines
Category:Crikey!
That time I nearly took a sojourn to Canada while I was being raped by a yak

Dude, I'm so bummed I didn't get to go to Canada. Like, WTF?
== So there I was ==
lying on the fucking ground, doing my rape victim thing with the six-hundred pound yak and its fifteen-inch cock, right? Like, lumberjack Deliverance shit.
== and these fucking travel brochures ==
blow out of the trees, mildew all over the place, and I was like "Hey, Canada! That sounds like a cool place to visit!"
== so I pulled out my ==
cell phone and bought some plane tickets from my friendly travel agent Beth, and started to head off to the airport, when I realized I was still nailed to the ground by massive yak cock! WTF?
I barely got away with a preposterously distended anal sphincter and a severed brachialis radial.
No, seriously. I nearly went to Canada.
Category:My sojournCategory:Further proof that Uncyclopedia is the worst
Category:Articles that will probably never get featured, despite their popularity among Uncyclopedians
That time I planned to kill your brother during my sojourn to Taco Bell

Dude, your fucking brother ruined my taco. Like, WTF?
== So there I was ==
sitting down to eat my taco, doing my Taco Bell thing with this shit after the retarded teenager messed up my order, right? Like, free taco shit.
== and your stupid fucking brother Luke ==
bursts out of nowhere, his appendix bursting all over the place, and instead of going for you, he makes a retardline straight for me.
== so I recoiled in horror ==
and dropped my taco on my plate so I could shield myself, and he grabbed my taco and threw it on the ground! WTF?
He barely got away with a major punch in the shoulder and a severed brain stem from all those hours he spends on WoW.
No, seriously. I really am going to kill your brother over this taco.
== See Also ==
Category:My sojourn
Category:Self-reference
Category:Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
Category:Articles written in the first person
*I Am Going To Kill Your Brother
*That time I was nearly raped by a yak during my sojourn in Canada
That time I threw my own poop at monkeys during my sojourn in a zoo

Dude, those fucking things were huge. Like, WTF?
==So there I was==
giving a lecture in the fucking zoo, doing my Anthropology thing with the Primate shit and the graduate students, right? Like, scientific badass shit.
==and these four fucking monkeys==
bursts out of the trees, poop all over their hands, and instead of going for the graduate students, they throw their poop straight at me.
==so I pulled down my==
pants and shit in my own hands, and then I returned fire! WTF?
I barely got away with a major ruined reputation and a several public indecency charges.
No, seriously. I threw my own poop at monkeys.
==See also==
*Poop throwing monkeys
Category:My sojourn Category:Hybrid subjects 
Category:Uncyclopedia In-JokesCategory:Poop Category:Crikey!
That time I took a sojourn to visit my friend Jim Freklowski

Dude, my insane friend's fucking genitals are huge, like WTF?
==So there I was==
visiting my friend Jim Freklowski, knockin' back a few brewskies, talking about the old days and telling each other who was dead and who was still alive and shit. Like, old people shit.
==and fucking Freklowski==
takes a big swig of beer from his sippy cup and suddenly yells "Nakee time" while tearing off his clothes all over the place, and when he was nude instead of swinging his dangly bit in his personal space and keeping it there he makes a nakedfriendline straight towards me.
==so I pulled out my fist==
and punched his face in until he hit the floor crying for his mommy, sobbing that his wonderful imagination had never gotten him into such a big jam before and that UN regulations prevented governmental recognition that I was a fucking pussy, WTF?
I barely got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial and, as luck would have it, Freklowski's wounds were nothing that an emergency medevac helicopter, major facial reconstructive surgery, and a series of extensive celebrum stem rehabilitative operations couldn't clear up. 
No, seriously. My friend nearly rubbed his hundred-year old joy-snake all over me.
==Interesting Facts==
*Back in the day, Jim built a bridge over troubled waters
*Sharon, Freklowski's mother, owns a prime piece of real estate
*Jim usually gets led down the primrose path
Category:Friendship
Category:My sojourn
Category:Jim Freklowski
Category:Old people
Category:People who are about six billion years old
That time I was impregnated by a magic balloon during my sojourn in Dinosaur World

<youtube width="200" height="175">Tmud7xDuaUM</youtube>It looked kinda like this, only fucking psycho.
Dude, that fucking thing was huge. Like, WTF?
==So there I was==
vacationing in the fucking dinosaur world, doing my Luigi thing with the Mesozoic shit and the cavepeople, right? Like, plumber badass shit.
==and this fucking fire sumo==
bursts out of the trees, musk all over the place, and instead of going for Mario, he makes a sumoline straight for me.
==so I pulled out my==
knife and scream like a little girl, and it rips the earth asunder. I fell for hours, with nothing below me but boiling lava. Good thing I found a magic balloon, but it tries to impregnate me! WTF?
I barely got away with a major unwanted bastard offspring and a severe case of abdominal striae.
No, seriously. It fucking impregnated me.
==See Also==
*Mama Luigi
Category:My sojourn Category:Luigi Category:Mpreg Category:Hybrid subjects
Category:Pregnancy
it:Quella volta che sono stato ingravidato da un pallone magico durante il mio soggiorno a Dinosaurolandia
That time I was nearly ----- during my sojourn in -----

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== So there I was ==
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== and this fucking <!-- insert large ferocious beast here --> ==
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== so I pulled out my ==
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== See also ==
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category:My sojourn
category:Meta