nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Tom Bearden

Tom Bearden is believed to be of a alien being with the ability to control bullshit. Proof of this fact lies in the sheer amount of crap he produced over the last few decades. Consequently, the entirety of the scientific community have ignored his contributions.
== Free bullshit creation ==
Bearden's quest for a limitless source of bullshit has started about 30 years ago. Many speculate that he has already succeeded in generating a device which produces more bs than it consumes. However due to interference from government secrete service agents , Japanese Yakuza's and funding issues, the technology has never been fully released to the public. The principles of it are simple however, consider the following.
\frac{BS \, in}{BS \, out}=coefficient \; of \: BS \: (COB)
Your typical Bearden device typically has COB coefficient of greater than 1. 
Next consider a simple N dimensional vortex with 12 manifolds expressed as follows:
\frac{\partial^{12}\nabla^2\psi}{\partial B^{12}}=\int BS^2 + \prod B\cdot S^{nau}_{din}
\frac{\int \frac{B\cdot \nabla^3}{S\cdot \int 5}}{\alpha*\beta^2- \nabla^2}\geq 1
lost me yet ? Good! now go buy the dvd it explains EVERYTHING, even the forbidden positions of BS creation. 
== Free energy generator ==
Unfortunately due to great technical issues the free energy generator has been "delayed" for the last 30 years. During the final meeting with his investors Bearden was reported to guarantee success for merely another 12 million. At about this point the BS hit the fan leading to the destruction of all semi functional versions of the generator. Bearden, tiring of the BS, had decided to call it a century and retire to a tropical island of hot babes to nurse his waning erection (using funds generously donated by the investors of course). Before retiring however Bearden had passed the secretes of BS creation to his son Sean McCarthy at Steorn.com .
Sean has made leaps and bounds in field of free BS creation technology, most notable of which were: making BS look good(the bling bling version), the professional version of BS(turd in a tuxedo version) and the reliably managed version of BS. Before leaving Bearden has warned his only half man half turd son to tread lightly as the BS + Fan curse was a unavoidable consequence of the free BS creation process. Will Sean succeed where his father only delayed or will the curse strike a terrible blow ? Only time will tell.
== Bat fuck insanity ==
Having successfully purchased a doctorate in the Bat Fuck method of insanity from our very own Uncycloversity, a British institution with no building, campus, faculty, or president, and run from a post office box in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Bearden went on to publish several award winning non-fiction books such as "When in doubt, blame the Russian's" and "If that fails, try the Yakuza" and its sequel "Just don't ever tell her the truth about that night!".
Category:American scientists
Category:Mad Scientists
Tom Servo

Tom Servo is a major literary figure of the 20th century, as well as a champion of appliance equal rights. Born as Htom Sirveaux on an assembly line in Cuisinart, France, he fled the country at a young age when appliances who did not conform to government standards were fried at high voltages. He anglicised his name when he published his first major work, the essay, "They Fill My Head With Gum, They Fill Your Head With Lies".
==Career Highlights==
* Awarded the 1975 Nobel Prize for Literature for his novel Sandwiches Cut Perpendicular. 
* A member of the American Academy and Institute for Arts and Letters. 
* Abducted and forceably imprisoned in the internment camp Satellit der Liebe for 10 years, and subjected to repeated psychological torture. 
In addition to writing over 14 novels and 72 short stories, he taught English classes at the University of Illinois. 
==Struggle Against Oppression==
His career was been hampered at times by critics, who claimed that it was unfair for a robot to have been awarded a PhD in Literature in the first place, let alone be granted a teaching position at a prestigious university. Opponents countered that anyone born from the unholy union of a bread maker and a gumball machine deserved any success they could muster.
The prejudice was largely silenced following the monumental Data v. Starfleet verdict on Stardate 42523.7, which granted full rights and privileges of self-determination to all sentient small appliances and derivative life forms.
==Affair Controversy==
In the Spring of 1994, Servo was spotted holding hands with English pop sensation Prince. Rumors of an affair were widely reported in tabloids. While appearing on the Today Show promoting his album Dirty Sex Bomb, Prince commented on the controversy: "Let me just say...he's all man under that hover skirt!" 
Though questioned about the incidents on multiple occasions, Servo has repeatedly declined comment.
==Where Are They Now?™==
Currently, Servo leads a rather reclusive life in the luxurious bottom drawer of a 3 million dollar nightstand in Minneapols-St. Paul, Minnesota. He lives with his wife, Eva Braun Mixerundblender and their 3 young attachments.
Category:Television characters
Category:Literature
Category:Robots
Tom Swift

The Tom Swift series were among the most popular children's and young adult's sexy science fiction series. Four series featuring four and a half Toms confused many schoolchildren, foreigners, and parents who thought the newer books were crap. The series featured such brilliant/retarded titles as "Tom Swift and His Flying Lad", "Tom Swift and His Jetmagazine", "Tom Swift and His Rocket Chip", and "Tom Swift and His Electric Paranoia".
==Plot==
Some loyal readers of the Tom Swift series believe they may have found an over all plot that spans all four series. They're not sure what it is, but some think that it's all going to lead to Tom's death. Whichever Tom it is. Interviews with Victor "Granny Smith" Appleton revealed nothing. Other, more sensible gumbies believe that the books are secret government plans to make walking to your mailbox unecessary. Instead, our chidren will be able to look farward to an age when sending mail is as easy as starting your Ultrasonic Pyscoplane!
==Characters==
===Tom Characters===
*Tom Swift Sr....
::...who rampaged in the 1920s with such high tech devices as radios and black slaves.
*Tom Swift Jr....
::...whose adventures included space races, underwater travel, and capitalistic domination. His escapades also included drugs, kidnapping, crime, sabatoge, and melodramatic endings. And these books are for kids???
*Tom Swift Jr. Jr. and Jr. Jr. Jr....
::...aren't worth talking about because nobody read the books.
===Tom Swift Jr. Characters===
*Sandy Swift...
::...Tom's vivacious and virginal sibling. She is also the consort of...
*Bud Barkley...
::...Tom's best bud and hard-headed enforcer.
*Phyllis Newton...
::...Tom's girl.
*Chow Winkler...
::...the overweight yet corpulent, cholestorol ridden, Texan chuckhouse cook. His specialty is midnight sandwiches for overworked Tom and/or Bud.
*The Swift's Space Friends...
::...the often-featured extraterrestrial intelligent life forms known for helping Tom and company thwart mad scientists and terrorist organizations on many an occasion. Removed from future serials of Swift mayhem because they "...were physically present throughout too many of the books, "hogging the spotlight", as is the saying..." 
Category:American literature
Category:Books
Tomi Meglic

Tomi Meglič (also known as Tomit) is the king of the whole wide world. He is also the lead singer of the Slovenian Lionel Richie cover band Siddharta. Or at least he claims he is. The real singer of Siddharta is a ventriloquist named Cene Resnik. Cene trained for five years to sing without moving his lips. Before this truth came out, Siddharta fans always wondered why Cene is on stage and doing absolutely nothing during their live performances.
==Early life==
Not much is known about Tomi's early life. When Tomi was born, the doctor who delivered him said "ta se trese".
==Career==
Besides his music career Tomi accomplished quite a lot in his life. He joined the Fellowship of the ring for the mission to take the One Ring to the land of Mordor where he could destroy it by throwing it into Mount Doom. But half the way there Tomi noticed that he forgot his black nail polish at home. He turned around and returned home since "the ring wouldn't look as good on his unpolished fingernails". The ring was then given to Frodo Baggins who finished the job for him.
It is also known that Tomi is a good friend with Alf (Alien Life Form from the planet Melmac). Alf gives Tomi yodeling lectures during the cold Slovenian winters. In Alf's words, "me and Tomi could yodel all day".
Tomi is also the king of the whole wide world. As all kings of the whole wide world he has psychic abilities such as telepathy, psychokinesis, fortune-telling and x-ray vision. Tomi is the person who introduced x-ray vision to Superman, but Tomi can also see through lead (Superman can't). Tomi is known to perform telepathy acts during his performances on stage.
Category:Musicians
Tongue-in-cheek

Tongue-in-cheek humor is a surgical procedure performed by facetious buccofacial surgeons to their most annoying patients.
==Procedure (summarized)==
This surgical operation involves
* Severing the tongue from it's original cavity (the mouth)
* Performing a 1.3" incision in either the left or right cheek parallel to the mandibular line
* Doing an auto graft of the severed tongue and reconnecting the tendons and motor nerve pathways
The operational guidelines are that the procedure should last between 45 minutes to 1 hour.
==Post-operation effects==
The effects are hilarious. One of the primary effect is that the patient is now deprived of speech, emitting only senseless spurts of sounds while trying to articulate. At the same time, the tongue having been reattached to its motor nerves will be performing seemingly random movements. This is very humiliating to the patient. This is good.
Life expectancy of the patient being unable to swallow any solid or liquid is somewhere between 48 and 72 hours.
==Note to surgeons==
It is possible the relatives or the patient himself will attempt to sue the physician for malpractice. Do not panic. First, the contacted lawyer will most probably also have a good fit of laughter when meeting his client - which should put him in a good mood towards the practitioner. Next, contact your own lawyer - you know his phone number by heart by now - and counter-sue immediately for libel. Direct your lawyer to the "Dinoire v. Deubernard - Beulah, WY - 2nd circuit court, 2006" case which clearly shows that facial surgeons have all latitude in determining what's best for the patient.
==Note to patient==
For the little time left you have to live, experiment with your new features. Make people laugh by doing tongue tricks and drooling profusely. Do not sue your doctor, he was just doing what was best for you. Should you choose the judicial way, be aware that all your and your family's belongings will most certainly be adjudicated to the surgeon to cover the cost of operation and the cost of the the counter sue that will inevitably ensue. Most importantly, make peace with your maker as you now have between 2 and 4 days to live.
==Procedure (technical)==
WARNING! THE FOLLOWING SHOULD ONLY BE CONSULTED BY DULY LICENSED SURGEONS. THIS SECTION CONTAINS HIGHLY TECHNICAL INFORMATION THAT SHOULD ONLY BE MADE AVAILABLE TO PHYSICIANS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Fun things to do. Besides the usual jokes and pranks, here are a few that are specific to this procedure :
* After the re-attach phase, instruct your primary assisting nurse (females only) to sit on the patient's cheek while stimulating the tongue with electrodes. Guaranteed laughter !
* Discreetly apply some methylene blue to the reattached tongue and shout "Oh my God! This one has the bubonic plague" - watch all personnel run around like headless chicken. Hilarious !
* Before reattaching the tongue, switch it with a lifelike looking artificial penis (available at the prosthesis department or at a sex-shop near you) and exclaim : "Hmmm.. maybe I cut the wrong part!". Watch reactions. Nice clean family fun !
Category:Humour
Category:Idioms
Category:Medicine
Torbal the Viking

Torbal the Viking (Born 956 AD), sometimes Thorbal, or as he wants to be called, Torbal the Last Viking of Sweden, was born in Stockholm during the Viking Age.
== Childhood ==
Torbal never went to school. Since he was an orphan, he grew up in a shack with his thirteen brothers. They all worked in a nearby coal mine, where all of his brothers died, because of their allergy to the gas-sniffing canarie birds. Ironically, the canarie birds died of the stench from the brothers. Torbal himself wasn't allergic to canarie birds, and survived. At his 21- birthday (Yes, youre still a child at the age of 21, ok?), he moved from his shack to Las Vegas, in hope to win a big one. Instead, he got robbed by an unknown burglar and raped by a man on the street. Depressed, he began to drink and drink, until his liver exploded in a rain of blood and alchohol. Since he was a viking, he came to Valhalla, where Odin decided that Torbals foul stench of old sperm and liqour couldnt remain, and threw torbal out from the Land of the Dead, and back into life. What happened from here is a bit sketchy, but historians believe that he got a job at the local Burger King.
== Adulthood ==
While working at Burger King, Torbal developed a taste for onions. Torbal is still working at the Las Vegas Burger King, eating onions and farting loudly at tourists.
== Unnecessary Information ==
* Torbal's favourite food is onions.
* Torbal have been anal raped by Oscar Wilde.
* Torbal's name in Swahili means "mature and cold", but Torbal isn't a native speaker of Swahili so this is irrelevant.
Category:Vikings 
Category:Sweden
Torch-wielding mob

The Torch-wielding mob is an ancient ritualistic form of dance first developed in Europe several centuries before the Romans. Performed mainly by the peasant class, the ritual is used primarily in times of strife, to reduce stress and to bring down the wrath of the gods upon the heads of those who break the tranquility of the village. The dance is performed in times of famine, during witch-hunts, and when that crazy old professor up the road a ways creates an abomination unto the heavens. It is an important part of the culture of many villages in Europe to this day.
== How to make your own Torch-wielding mob:==
Before creating a torch-wielding mob, it is vital to stretch. Failure to stretch carefully before a dance involving such strenuous physical activity can result in sprained muscles, especially in the arm holding the pitchfork and in the legs and feet. After you've stretched, you can move on to starting the dance itself.
First, you'll need a cause to rally around. Torch-wielding mobs are always formed to invoke the displeasure of the gods, and so you can't just do it whenever your harvest isn't as great as you thought. You'll have to find someone in the village who stands out in some way. Pick someone who is generally unpopular with the villagers. Obtain or create evidence that they are responsible for many of the recent misfortunes of the village. 
Then, stand on a slightly elevated platform and ring the bell in the Town Center. All of your fellow peasants will come runnning, armed with pitchforks. In a charismatic manner, and preferably in Ye Olde Englishe, describe to them the crimes that your target has comitted. They will then begin the Chant of Agreement, started off by some guy in the back yelling "burn the witch", or "kill the beast", or some such. 
===Finally===
Then all there is left to do is play dramatic music, hand out torches, and dance over to find the victim, who will invariably flee despite their probable ability to kick the crap out of yourself and your fellow villagers. This is their role in the dance, the prestigious hunted one, who must choose the route the dance will take. They can either decide to dance the dance of the windmill, the dance of the woods, or the dance of the stake. On extremely rare occasions, an outsider other than the hunted one but familiar with the dance may make the signal for the dance of the outsider, by leaping in front of the mob, waving his arms, and making an impassioned speech about the villager's prejudice, and pointing out that they themselves "are the monsters here". 
The dance climaxes with the burning, exile, or leaping-off-a-cliff of the hunted one, which symbolically appeases the gods. It is then tradition for somebody to go "what have we DONE?!" and for everybody to see the error of their ways, and go back to farming.
Category:Dance
Torpedophile

Torpedophiles are members of a select group of Navymen, who, throughout their time with the Navy, begin a relationship with the torpedoes onboard the vessel.
==History of Torpedophilism==
Though many cases of Torpedophilism was reported during the 1800s, it wasn't until WWII that many Navy personnel's affiliations with Torpedoes started to get attention. During WWII the young men of the ocean were trapped alone for long periods of time with absolutely no sexual interaction. Many seamen became entranced by the power of the Torpedo, taking to their sleek designs and feasting upon them as if they were forbidden fruit.
Men that were found out to be torpedophiles were dismissed by Navy officials until 1998; when torpedophile activist Ian Thorpe took his case to the supreme court. This was a landmark decision by the courts, allowing torpedophiles to satisfy themselves on their well-rounded partners without the fear of being reprimanded, and thus, legalizing torpedo marriage.
left|thumb|180px|Torpedoes aren't opposed to more than one partner
==Stigma==
Despite torpedophiles being allowed to practise, there is still a certain stigma that surrounds them. They are often ridiculed by their peers on the warships, leading to the setup of many torpedophile societies; where known torpedophiles can ridicule those that are not part of their fraternity.
Tattooing has also become a fashion among torpedophiles, inking their favourite model torpedo on their arms or buttocks. Popular models are the mk46 and the VA-111 Shkval
==Statistics==
After many surveys, the U.S Navy has concluded that one in three Navymen have torpedophilic tendencies. Such high numbers in torpedophiles is worrisome among the more selfish wives of men who are out at sea, who want to remain the only object of their husbands affection. Luckily, most Navy men are chuffers, so they do not have wives.
It is more likely for commanding officers to be drawn into the torpedophillic world.
143 men per year, die after suffering injuries from sexual activities with torpedoes. Including being crushed or worse; the torpedo being fired whilst a man and torpedo are in the middle of activity.
Category:Military terminology
Category:Sexuality
pt:Torpedo
zh:鱼雷
Tortilla

Tortilla is the name of a town in Northern Mexico. The ubiquitous Mexican flatbread takes its name from this town.
==Tortilla, Mexico==
Tortilla (pop. 5,822 (2004)) is a town in Baja California Sur, Mexico. The town is named after Tortilla Barilla Catrina Samina "La Niña" Gutiérrez.
The town was founded in 1842 after turmoil in the neighboring town, Chimichanga, led to an implosion at the corn mines that employ many of its workers. Today, such an implosion would propel hundreds of Mexicans northward into the namesake U.S. state of California.
The pride of the town is the fountain. A sculpture in the center of the fountain features a jackrabbit doing the cha-cha with David Bowie. Municipal officials claim their predecessors specified a sculpture of the seal in the middle of the national flag, where a vulture does business with a rattlesnake, but the sculptor under contract claimed he had exercised "creative license."
==Tortillas==
A tortilla is also the Mexican bread, made of corn or wheat flour. A Super-ball-sized ball of maza is flattened and then fried on a griddle or stove-top. This makes it adequately greasy for Mexicans to eat. Depending on how much grease is available, the tortilla may be rigid and brittle, or it may be floppy. This determines whether the tortilla will rip or tear. Either way, the tortilla's destiny is to disintegrate in the hands and disgorge a variety of tasty fillings into the wearer's diner's lap.
Long before the United States dallied with declaring health care a human right, Mexico declared tortillas a human right. Consequently, every few blocks in Mexican cities is a stand where residents of the neighborhood can pick up subsidized tortillas. The more you eat, the cheaper it is--except when There Isn't Any. The price never rises, because such an act would have to be voted on by the Mexican Congress and would be made out as an attempt to starve the poor.
If your Mexican host offers you a grilled-cheese sandwich (sanguche), the different concept of bread means that what you will get is a quesadilla. (This is a damn sight better than in England, where candies that seem to be of grape flavor turn out to taste like black currants.) Oddly, when Mexicans arrive in the United States and encounter bread in loaves, they know exactly what to do with it: Bitch about the price.
==See also==
*Wild Toast
*Soggy crackers
Category:Food
Category:Cooking
Tosspot

thumb|A modern-day tosspot.
A tosspot (also known as a jizzpot or tossah) is a bowl-shaped container with a handle, and often a lid, and generally used within the former British Empire as a means of disposing of unwanted gism in the middle of the night. Occasionally, they were used for the disposal of faeces and urine as well. It's like a wanker, but with more spunk
==History==
===Sodomic Greece===
Tosspots were first used in sodomic Greece in 69 BC (Big Cocks) as a pleasure device for the country's thriving closeted male population to ingest gissom without being a huge gay. In November 1769 AD (Ahuge Dick) Lord So Damn Insane approached officials of the British government to inquire if they would be interested in employing artists to take casts and drawings of the sculptured portions of his cock, presented in an ornate tosspot, to the developing sodomite population in the British Empire. According to Lord Husselgin, "the answer of the Government was entirely positive to this development."
The excavation and removal of the gism from Lord Insane's cock and balls was completed in 1812 at a personal cost of around £70,000. Lord Insane intended the tosspots for display in the British Museum, selling them to the British government for less than the cost of bringing them to Britain and declining higher offers from other potential buyers, including Napoleon. However, the legality of this act has been questioned, as many Gay Greek Nationalists wanted the jizzpot for themselves.
===Cuntemporary use in Britain===
The tosspot was the preferred means for a man (or woman) to dispose of any unwanted jissom around the house until the mid-20th century, when such means were replaced by being flushed down the lavatory, thanks to the advent of indoor plumbing. 
The tosspot was traditionally held in the ejaculatorium of the house, and during a banquet or other orgious activity, the males would leave the main room and enter the ejaculatorium. There, they would be encouraged to stand around the tosspot with a chocolate digestive biscuit on top and release their load onto it, with the aid of voluptuous-breasted wenches. The last person to release their ejaculate on the biscuit had to eat it - however, due to the Edwardian principle of no homo, the men who engaged in such activity were in no way homosexual.