nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Apology

We're Very Sorry To Say That We Don't Actually Have A Page On "Apology", But If You've Come Looking For A Guide on How To Make Cheap Apologies, You've Come To The Right Place!
Siamo molto spiacenti di dover dire di non avere ancora una pagina sulle "scuse", ma se sei venuto cercando una guida su come fare semplici scuse, sei venuto nel posto giusto!
¡Estamos muy apesadumbrados de decir que no tenemos realmente una página sobre las "disculpas", pero si usted ha venido buscando una guía en cómo hacer disculpas baratas, usted ha venido al lugar correcto!
Es tut uns sehr Leid zu sagen, dass wir nicht wirklich eine Seite auf "Entschuldigung" haben, aber, wenn Sie gekommen sind, nach einem Führer auf, wie man sucht preiswerte Entschuldigungen bildet, sind Sie zum rechten Platz gekommen!
Мы очень сожалеем, но у нас нет статьи, называющейся "Извинение"; однако, если Вы ищете руководство о том, как правильно извиняться, то Вы на правильном пути!
אנו מתנצלים מאד על כי אין ברשותנו דף בנושא "התנצלות". אבל, אם הגעתם לכאן על מנת לקבל מידע על איך למצוא תירוצים זולים, הגעתם למקום הנכון!
申し訳ありませんが、"謝罪"のページは実際にはありません。しかし安っぽい謝罪の仕方についてなら、ここは正しいサイトです！
As we said, we are so extremely sorry that no one has been bothered to write an apology page but we can do no more than offer our greatest and most sincere expression of regret on the fact that we have no page about apologies. We are also sorry that we couldn't even think of anything funny to put here, but instead filled this page with a half-funny and un-original ideas. We would also like to take this opportunity to offer our sincerest regret for all the damage and harm that Uncyclopedia has caused. It has been very, very bad and it knows it. From now on Uncyclopedia will not attempt humour ever again.
We are so, so sorry.
==To the children==
We would like to offer a big, fat lie "sorry" to the children concerning the following matters:
*McDonald's
*Canada, eh?
*Global warming ... actually, hell no! You should be grateful for this you little snot-covered pieces of dirt! Now your puny holidays are warm and nice.
*The Internet – we're sorry that you get to share the porn now.
*That your parents conceived you
*Family values
*Nazis No, I'm pretty sure Nazis is meant to be in there ... Nazis
*Communists
*Flavourless flavoured condoms
*This sorry excuse for a page
*This sorry excuse for a list
==Sorry for the sorry-ness of this page==
We're sorry for the sorry-ness of this page, the amount we've said "sorry" already and the annoying fact that we've dodged saying "apology". We're sorry that we put a gay box thingie, we're sorry that we ever made your or even, allowed you to cast your eyes upon this sorry puddle of a heap of words. We're sorry for insulting vulnerable groups of society and for preying on the weakness of others. We're sorry for laughing at your excuse for a god and we're sorry for saying sorry about things you never really cared about...
Sorry.
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Category:Self-reference
Category:Emotion
Category:Canada
ja:ごめんなさい
ja:すみません
ja:すいません
ko:죄송합니다
Appendix

Named after Appendix, the famous Gaul hero of the Rome Total War, the Appendix is a mysterious organ of the body, situated near the index finger, just below the glossary. Despite having been researched to within an inch of its life by scientists with nothing better to do it is still throwing up surprises on a regular basis. The only other organs of the body considered to be more enigmatic that the curiously anomalous appendix are the fabled "gones". One major issue of the appendix is its regular tendency to explode, annoying many other bodily organs. 
==Properties of the appendix==
Curious properties of the appendix include:
* Purple on Sundays and red the rest of the week.
* Has been known to sing in voices so beautiful that five researchers were moved to tears.
* Slightly rippled with a flat underside.
* No sense of humour.
* Heavier than the entire rest of the body combined.
* Absent in William Shatner
==Delinquent Appendixes==
The appendix is, strangely enough, the only organ of the body that is imbued with a free will of its own, and as such, some appendixes may become inflamed. These are called delinquent appendixes. They typically resemble slugs and inhale pot until they burst, taking their owners with them in their suicides.
Much scientific research has been done for the phenomena of appendix suicide, but no conclusive answers have been discovered, though there have been some theories which postulate links to the creation of ninja.
In around 65% of human deaths in the presence of a canine, the human appendix will switch places with one of the dog's eyeballs. This process takes roughly 17 minutes and is known colloquially as Linford Christie's Substitution.
==Diseases==
The appendix can cause several diseases in the human body, one of which being Rememberthetitanis, which is a disease fatal unless the appendix is immediately removed. Conversely, the disease Alagaesia is a disease that only occurs in people without appendixes (and, theoretically, William Shatner) and is fatal unless an appendix transplant is procured within twenty four hours.
==Controversy==
The appendix was a source for recent controversy when celebrated anti-video games advocate and certified astronaut Jack Thompson changed his stance on the appendix and declared that all appendixes should be removed immediately. He then cut out his appendix and died. Yes, again.
Category:Anatomy
he:תוספתן
Apple (disambiguation)

Apple may refer to:
*Some kind of disease, the kind that you get when you're visiting your friend's house, and then you run into the younger, wilder sister and then this-and-that leads to a disconcerting condition that you're later looking up on the internet to see if your private parts will fall off. 
*The favorite snack of a Shinigami (Japanese for "Death Gods"). As Ryuk the Shinigami would certainly say, "apples are how humans say juicy".
*A giant pie-shaped galaxy run by Bono of "popular" "rock" group U2, excitedly running into the blue Earth and exterminating all persons who retain intelligent thought throughout. Be wary of those who say that Apple products are perfect in relation to other technology products. Such people are most likely infected, and will spread their disease to you, your family, and even your grandparents. Just like your friend's sister did. And you know how itchy that can be. And I love apples so much...they are good to eat and Kara likes to eat them all the time!
*Apples taste good with cheese...and bullets...and beware of oranges...and people. There were was this wonderful apple tree in this garden of delights. This man and this woman picked those juicy apples and started chomping. Then there were horrendous, nasty problems for Adam and Eve.
*Sir Isaac Newton was almost killed once while sitting under a tree by an unexpected avalanche of apples. He coined the phrase "apples and pears" and this marked the beginning of a revolutionary form of conversation called Cockney Rhyme. This was initially reserved to only be spoken by the elite graduates of Cambridge University, it soon became as popular as the broach and continues to influence British Parliment discussions today.
Category:Apples
Apple Corps

Apple Corps, Ltd. is the armed branch of the infinitely expanding British band known in this universe as The Beatles. Founded in 1968, Apple Corps was deeply entrenched in several of the worlds' bloodiest conflicts, and was falsely classified as a terrorist organization. 
==The Battle for Savile Row (1968)==
In May of 1968, The Beatles declared themselves emperors of the known universe, which at the time only encapsulated a small street in central London. Apple was swiftly founded, and arms were taken up. Some who were present for the conquering stated it could be more accurately described as a massacreTrust me, bro. If you ask me, it was a justified struggle. Millions were slain, vainly trying to defend already failing industries, the ideals of a world which had long since disappeared. Apple Corps sustained no casualties, and The Beatles soon realized there was much more to be dealt with. 
Also, John Lennon was declared God Emperor of the Universe. 
==Peace at Any Cost & The Vietnam War (1968-1976)==
=== Vietnam ===
The Vietnam War played an important role in Apple Corps' propaganda news. Of course, Apple Corps was constantly striving to create a haven of cooperation, communal reliance, and recreational drug use. As a result of these values, Apple Corps decided to get involved in the Vietnam War. They declared that they would bring all soldiers of all nationalities back to their homes (albeit, in boxes). Dressed in their signature pure white uniforms, Apple soldiers descended into Vietnam, killing anyone and everyone they came across. It was Savile Row all over again, with millions slain. A little known fact about Apple's involvement in Vietnam: Apple Corps is still the official government after their victory over the nation in 1976! 
=== Peace at Any Cost ===
In 1969, John Lennon and Paul McCartney declared "Peace Law" within all controlled territories. This law stated that all who opposed the doctrine of peace/peaceful action were to be executed. Peaceful action entailed praying to the portraits of The Beatles as situated in the east of all buildings five times a day, consistently being under the influence, and partaking in community farming projects. Opposing these actions was simply ridiculous, and rightfully resulted in a tortuous death.
== The Death of God ==
By 1980, Apple Corps was as powerful as ever. God (the name assumed by Lennon in 1971) was visiting New York City in order to propagate the doctrine of peaceful action. The United States Government had long been fearful of God's powers, and were lying in wait for him as he arrived. Tragically, God was shot three times in the back. His spirit then entered the body of Paul McCartney, who subsequently ascended to Godhood. He has remained the head of Apple ever since. 
==References==
Category:Military branches
Apple sauce

Apple sauce or applesauce is a toxic nerve agent first created by the Israeli Mossad intelligence service to assist John Seigenthaler Sr. in the Kennedy assassination plot.
The plan was later tossed. To recuperate the massive losses involved, Mossad decided to mass produce and market apple sauce and to sell it in the American market as a food that doesn't go well with anything in particular.
==Composition==
Apple Sauce is comprised of two parts silicon and one part uranium. It is created by spinning spent burning dog poo bags in an aluminum centrifuge until the silicon and the uranium separate from the feces and the corn and the fingernail clippings.
Apple sauce accidentally gave milk the power to destroy baby dolphins due to the apple sauce being left in the refridgerator for three months and fourteen days. As the apple sauce was left in the fridge, it started radiating gamma rays that affected everything in the fridge. the milk was affected the most because it was left right next to it. The milk had it's glory days fighing crime along side with batman and many other supper heros, but Unfortuntaly the carton of milk died fourteen days later due to the intense radation levels emited by apple sauce. However there are some accounts the the orange juice (that was also left in the fridge) teleporting and firing lazors at squirrels. you could find what the milk did as a super hero in the DC comics section of your nearest magazine store, and if you don't have one YOU'RE A LOSSER!!!! sorry, i didn't mean that...
==Discovery==
Following the end of World War II, many Nazi scientists fled to Argentina. There, the Israelis found them, and asked them if they were really, really super sorrow for their role in the Holocaust. Several fibbed, saying, "For realsies."
Ryab Boarder decided to make it up to the Jews using their skills for good . . . of sorts.
The product of these efforts was he first generation of weaponized apple sauces, produced under a patent licensed by the Israeli government from Bayer and Seimens. 
However some argue that apple sauce was invented/found in Russia during the Cold War during the period when Mexicans were starving.
==Anti-apple sauce movement==
In 1966, the American public learned from an article in the New York Times that their food supply contained weaponized apple sauce.
Outrage spread. President Lyndon Baines Johnson, the Bainiest president ever, demand that apple sauce be removed from store shelves.
It was removed, and has since only appeared in soup kitchens for the homeless and public schools, where it is considered more human than the standard mixture of sawdust and lard that passes for food.
Category:American cuisine
Category:British cuisine
Category:Food
Apps

An app is an apple that is missing the letters L and E. It might occur when your keyboard is malfunctioning. However, apps are popular on iPhones. Apps can be found on every iPhone on earth. Even the iPhone's icon symbolizes an app. Now that's Яidiculous. Steve Jobs must have been using lots of drugs when he designed the icon. The most popular app is WhatsApp, which is not unsurprising at all; it should actually be WeCheat. But the list does not include WeCheat. This shows that WeCheat is so well-hidden that the researchers don't even know about its existence.
==History==
It is believed that the word "app" was invented from an unfinished word. Around 1750, Lord Alvin Redund was writing a redundant encyclopedia in alphabetical order. When he was writing the title of the page about apps, he was shot. Nowadays historians think that Lord Redund intended to write about apples. However, at that time, people believed that the article about apps was supposed to redund with the previous article advertisement, so they thought that apps were a tool for advertising. That idea kept on till about 15 years after the invention of smartphones. At that time, apps on smartphones were already full of ads. And that's what apps are for: to make you have fun on them and like them, then they'll advertise other apps, and you would download more and more apps until your phone explodes.
==Commercial use==
Apps make phones explode, so costumers often need to buy new phones. That’s how phone companies make money. However, Microsoft Widows can’t make money in that way. So instead it uses SoftWars, which look soft at first glance but eventually start wars with all sorts of excuses. Uncycloversity predicts that Microsoft Widows will start World War IV within the next 10 years.
==Fun facts==
*The number of apps that exist is an integer.
*The number of apps that do not exist is 0.
*Zoom the app illegally uses the patented letter Z.
*You cannot install apps on bananas. It smells terrible.
*You cannot install bananas on apples, either. If you ban apples, then lots of people would hate you.
*People who make apps take in a significant amount of dihydrogen monoxide almost every day.
==See also==
*Apple
*Android
*Steve Jobs
*Widows
Category:Software
Arachno-communism

Arachno-communism is a system of political and economic government where the people are governed freely and fairly by giant spiders. Though arachno-communism has never been successfully put into practice, it has been portrayed in several successful and unsuccessful films, such as Starship Troopers and Starship Troopers 2; the documentaries Arachnophobia and Eight-Legged Freaks; and the sanitation thriller Under Your Bathroom Linoleum. The system was originally conceived by arch arachno-philosopher Bedwin Arachnovic Arachno. Although not a giant spider himself, it is generally agreed that he was being controlled by giant spiders at the time.
==Arachno-communism in practice==
As previously stated, arachno-communism has never been implemented anywhere on any world ever. However, some regimes have claimed to be arachno-communist, including Iraq, Arrakis, Peru, and Canada. Iraq, though ruled for some time by a giant spider, was not "socialist enough" for "Arachno-Communist Leaders United", the organisation most consider to be at the forefront of arachno-communist theory today. Arrakis, regardless of its socialistic credentials, was in reality ruled not by giant spiders, but giant worms. The Peruvian government was widely recognized as a legitimate arachno-communist nation until it came to light that President Cheula Tarran was not a spider, but a Czech Skorpion. And, though many maps may indicate otherwise, Canada has never had a government.
Some have regarded the administration of 1762 Andorran President Qazvin "Qaz and Effect" Zbeidtermann as being characterized by arachno-communist concepts, but since Zbeidtermann's time in office predated Arachno's work he is considered by many experts to be an arachronism.
==Controversy==
Many arachno-communists have also debated whether free and fair government by tiny spiders constitutes this form of government, which it certainly does not. Everyone knows that tiny spiders are not communists at all, but arachnists.
Another hot topic in the A-C community has been whether Man-Spider was the greatest truck-driving arachno-communist of all time, or simply the only truck-driving arachno-communist of all time.
Also problematic in A-C doctrine is that within the original writings of Arachno, it was left unclear whether arachno-communist governments could include other spider-like entities, for instance scorpions, the Iroquois, a racket, or even Arachno himself. Some also regard Kent Brockman as a prominent arachno-communist (or at least a precursor), but this has been roundly dismissed as Brockman endorsed the government of giant ants, not giant spiders.
==Prominent arachno-communists==
* Barack Obama
* Peter Parker
* David Bowie
* Arliss Loveless
* Steven Suptic
==See also==
*Arachnism
Category:Communism
Category:Insects
Category:Philosophy
Category:Political ideologies
Category:Things that may be out to get you
Category:Puns
Aracuan

The aracuan bird, or simply aracuan (Aracuanis communistus) is a non-flying bird originating from South America. The bird is called the Aracuan due to the peculiar song it sings. 
== Behavior ==
Aracuans are known for their chaotic and absurdist behavior, often causing ruckus and disorder. They're prone to cause vandalism wherever they go, being considered as pests by many people.
Aracuans often group in hordes and govern themselves using communism. Aracuans that prefer to be more individual, although rare, may also exist; but they often end being killed by the other aracuans in their insane version of a gulag.
The most characteristic trait of aracuans is their song,that is, if the horrible screech they often produce can be called a "song" which they often sing when they're happy, sad, hungry, or as a mating call. There is no scientific consensus on the human-language transcription of this song, although the most accepted one goes along the lines of "SLAPPALLAPPA LAPPALLAPPA CACATONEDITUCAN! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG!". It is unsure if the use of the word "Tse Tung" is accidental or deliberate.
== Habitat ==
The aracuan bird is a South American species that was first found living in the jungles of Brazil. However, due to the commercialization of this bird,despite being a pain in the ass, many have wanted an aracuan for some reason that escapes me at the moment it has spread over the world, in places like the United States, Italy or the United Kingdom. In the latter, there has lately been a great influx of aracuans in the English town of Wolverhampton, where the aracuan has become a symbol of the town, to the point of being depicted on the town's coat of arms (pictured).
== In popular culture ==
The aracuan made it to popular culture during the 1940's thanks to the animation studio The Walt Disney Company, which briefly showed an aracuan as the main antagonist of one of their animated films. 
== See also ==
* SLAPPALLAPPA LAPPALLAPPA CACATONEDITUCAN
* Uncyclopedia's most famous aracuan
==Notes==
Category:Birds
Category:Communists
Category:Disney characters
Category:Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
Category:Bat Fuck Insane
Aracuanía Region

The Aracuanía Region is a first-order administrative region of Chile. The region’s capital is New Wolverhampton (Spanish: Wolverhampton Nueva.) Aracuanía is the poorest region of Chile, since all government funds to it have been cut due to its numerous attempts to start a communist revolution. All such attempts were led by an individual known as Walbro de la Diarrea. The Forevian Pevian Commie Party, located in Peru, provides 95% of Aracuanía’s infrastructure.
==History==
It is believed that a people known as the Mapuche lived in the Aracuanía region many years ago, due to some archaeological remains. However, by the time that the Spanish arrived in the sixteenth century, the only semi-intelligent beings remaining in the area were the Aracuan birds, whom Spanish settlers had no choice but to coexist with. How such creatures could arise considering the major differences between human and Aracuan reproductive systems, we do not know. Today approximately 50% of Aracuaníans are considered to be Pestizos, that is, freak human-Aracuan hybrids, which share a similar love for communism and obnoxious chant. They are called Pestizos due to their poor reputation amongst pure Spaniards. However, the Pestizos themselves could care less about this unfortunate name.
In the 1970s and 1980s, Augusto Pinochet considered nuking Aracuanía off the face of the planet. He advertised this nuking to Aracuanians using the following message: “What’s better than free helicopter rides? Extreme sunshine and a cozy nuclear winter! Badass movie explosions that you can see firsthand! And you get to see some CRAAAAAZY creatures too weird ‘n wild for even Chernobyl!” While the UN shunned his ideas, on New Year’s Day of 2007, following Pinochet’s recent death, several other South American leaders, most of which were just as corrupt as Pinochet, proclaimed: “Maybe this guy isn’t quite Bat Fuck Insane. Well, he is, but he’s fighting something that’s battier, fuckeder, and insaner.”
== Gallery ==
File:La Araucanía location map.svg|A map of the region
File:Bosque de araucarias, en un cerro de Icalma, Región de La Araucanía, Chile.jpg|A Chilean hillside, not quite free of SLAPPALLAPPAs
File:Slappallappa Lappallappa Cacatoneditucan The Motion Picture.jpg|This iconic bird was originally native to the Aracuanía region but has since spread worldwide
Category:Wolverhampton upon The Juicy Taste of Diarrhea
Category:Chile