The Secret About Secrets/Transcript

(Arthur Read whispers into Buster's ear, in the Reads' hallway)
Buster: Really?!
Arthur: (nodding) Yep. But you can't tell anybody!
Buster: I won't. Wow, that is so cool! Well, see you tomorrow. (exits out the front door)
D.W.: (holding her hand up) Not so fast! What were you guys whispering about (glares, folds her arms)
Arthur: (walking away) I'm not telling you. It's a secret.
D.W.: I won't tell anybody.
Arthur: (stopping) I won't either. That's what makes it a secret (walks away, D.W. looks peeved)
(cut to the Reads at their table)
Mrs Read: T-W-I-N-S.
Mr Read: Really? That's quite a secret!
(D.W. looks annoyed, cut to Grandma Thora walking down the sidewalk carrying a bag, D.W. looks in)
Thora: I'm sorry, dear, but your mother asked me not to show this to you. It's a secret. (her face appears in the corner)
Arthur: It's a secret. (his face appears in the other corner)
Mr Read: It's a secret. (his face appears in another corner)
Mrs Read: It's a secret. (her face appears in the middle.
Tommy Tibble: It's a secret. (his face appears appears in the remaining corner)
Timmy Tibble: (whispering) It's a secret. (his face appears between Thora's and Mr Read's)
Emily; (whispering) It's a secret. (her face appears between Tommy's and Thora's)
Buster: It's a secret. (his face appears between Tommy's and Arthur's)
James: It's a secret. (his face appears between Arthur's and Mr Read's)
D.W.: All right, already! (breaks the wall of faces and covers her ears, then uncovers them) Wait a minute, do any of you know a secret? Don't worry. You can tell me. I won't tell anybody. Please tell me? Please! (kneels on floor, desperate voice) Please!!
(title card)
Nadine: (appears in front of D.W.'s bed, upon which D.W. is lying with her shoes off and rubbing her forehead) Oh no, not again.
D.W.: That's the tenth secret Arthur wouldn't tell me! And I think it was a good one too! Why can't anybody tell me just one?
Nadine: I could tell you one.
D.W.: Not the same. Oh, I wish I knew one.
Nadine: (getting onto D.W.'s bed) Well, the good thing about a secret is that it's secret. Nobody has to know you don't know one.
D.W. (smiles, walks into the kitchen, sits down) I know a secret but I'm not telling it to you.
Buster: OK.
Arthur: Fine (leaves)
D.W.: Aren't you gonna ask me what it is? (Buster pours milk on cereal)
Buster; No. (eats cereal)
D.W.: Aren't you even gonna ask who told it to me?
Arthur: (pouring milk on his cereal) Whoever told it to you doesn't want you blabbing it to us.
Buster; D.W., when a friend tells you a secret and asks you to keep it--
D.W.: But nobody told me! It's a secret I made up all by myself! (the boys look surprised)
(D.W.'s bedroom, she's lying face down on her bed and Nadine is sitting on the bed)
Nadine: Well, I didn't ask you to keep blabbing about it.
D.W.: Well, you also didn't tell me that you have to have someone tell you a secret or else it's not actually a secret. (sits up) That's it!
(on the playground)
D.W.: My mom told it to me. She said I couldn't tell this secret to anybody, ever.
Tommy Tibble: (sitting in the sand pit with his brother) Uh-huh. (pushes toy truck) Ka-pow!
D.W.: She heard it from, uh, Miss Morgan.
Timmy: You can't get away from me! (throws a toy robot) Grr, gotcha!
D.W.: I think Miss Morgan heard it from your grandma.
Tibble Twins; Grandma?!
Tommy: Really?! What she say?
D.W.: My lips are sealed. It's a secret.
Timmy: Grandma tells us everything. She'd never keep a secret from us.
Tommy: (standing up, picks up a toy) Let's call Grandma and see.
D.W.: Well, umm, no, you don't have to call her. It's not that big a secret.
Tommy: (holds up toy like a phone) Hi, Grandma.
D.W.: (taking it off him) Okay, I was just kidding, there's no secret. (falls over)
One of the twins; And there's no cell phone (both laugh)
Timmy: Good one, Tommy.
D.W.: (sits up, her arm has a minor injury) Ow. (the twins look worried)
Timmy: Are you OK?
(the nurse puts a plaster on D.W.'s arm)
D.W.: I never knew fake secrets were so dangerous.
Nurse: Stay right there. (picks up the phone) Hello. Oh, yes, I called because you need to bring James a change of clothes.
James: (standing in the corner, waves) What happened to you?
D.W.: It's kind of a secret. What about you?
James: Oh, well, it's kind of a secret too.
D.W.: Really?! I'll tell you my secret if you tell me yours.
James: Uh---
D.W.: (quickly) I was fighting with the Tibbles and fell down. Now you.
James: Uh...
Nurse: James split his pants right down the middle. Oh, there's no hiding it (shakes her head), you can see his underwear clear as day from the back.
(D.W. gasps)
James: You can't tell anyone. It's a secret, remember. A secret!
(D.W. smiles and nods, daydream begins. D.W. knocks)
Person: Sorry, this clubhouse is for secret-holders only.
D.W.: I got one. (gets let into a room where people are talking at tables and have glowing purple bags with a gold S on them)
Person: It's OK, everybody. She's cool. Here. (hands her one of the "S" bags).
D.W.: What's that?
Person: That's to put your secret in. Go on.
D.W.: (whispering into the bag) James split his pants. (the bag glows and the person ties it up, a woman offers her a seat, she stops daydreaming, scene cut, plays hopscotch) Yes!!
Emily: Wow, you're so happy today, what happened? (throws a stone)
D.W.: Well, let's just say, I know a secret.
Emily: Oh. (plays hopscotch)
D.W.: What do you mean "oh"?
Emily: What did the Tibbles' grandma tell you?
D.W.: No, this time it's real.
Emily: Well, if it's real, why can't you tell me?
D.W.: 'Cause it's a secret.
Emily: (stops) But I'm your best friend.
D.W.: True. Hmm, OK, but you can't tell anybody. (Emily smiles, nods, and leans over to hear D.W.)
D.W.: (sees James and changes her mind) Uh, I'll tell you tomorrow. (runs away, scene changes to D.W. and Nadine in bed at night) She's my best friend. Can't I at least tell one person?
Nadine: But if you tell her, then how do you think James will feel?
D.W.: Just one person (falls asleep and starts dreaming, whispers in Emily's ear) Jame's split his pants.
Emily: Really?
D.W.: Yep, but you can't tell anybody. (Emily walks over to the sandbox where the Tibble twins are) What are you doing?!
Emily: Don't worry, I'm just telling Timmy. (whispering) James split his pants.
Timmy: Wow, wait until I tell Tommy!
Tommy: Tell me what?
Timmy: (whispering) James split his pants.
D.W.: No, you guys! You gotta stop!
Tommy: (laughs, whispers to Vicita) James split his pants.
Timmy: (whispers to a boy) James split his pants.
Emily: (whispers to another boy) James split his pants.
(D.W. gasps)
Boy Emily Told: (whispering) James split his pants.
Emily: James split his--
D.W.: Oh no!
James; Hey, D.W. What are they all talking about?
D.W.: Oh, uh, nothing, just.
Everyone Else On Playground: (mocking singsong voice) James split his pants. James split his pants. (laugh)
(D.W. wakes up and sighs, scene cut to the road)
D.W.: (in the backseat of the Read car, Mrs Read is driving) I know this secret and it's a really great secret and...and I just got to tell it to somebody.
Mrs Read: You can tell it to me. You should always share your secrets with Dad or me so we can help you.
D.W: Okay, well, the other day, James split his pants at school. His mum had to bring him extra clothes.
Mrs Read: I bet James is embarrassed and wouldn't want the other kids at school to know. (lets her out of the car)
D.W.: But it's really hard not tell anyone.
Mrs Read: I'm glad you told me but let's keep it between us.
D.W.: But how do I stop myself from telling?
Mrs Read: (walking D.W. to preschool) Well, try not to think about it. Try thinking about something else, like Christmas.
(D.W. is drawing a reindeer and humming Jingle Bells)
Emily: So what's the secret?
D.W.: What? Oh, I, uh, (keeps drawing and humming).
Emily: D.W., did you hear me?
Voice in D.W.'s Head: (to the tune of Jingle Bells) His mom had to bring pants to school 'cause James split his pants. (D.W. is baffed)
D.W.: Oh, look, the Tibbles are making a sandcastle. (runs away)
Emily: D.W.!
D.W.: I'll tell you tomorrow! (gets picked up from school) Drive!
Emily walks slowly
Vicita: (walking home from school) See you later, guys. See ya.
(bedtime, D.W. dreams that she's back at that secret clubhouse and her bag is wiggling)
Person who let her in: Hey, little girl, what's up with your bag?
D.W.: Oh, uh, I don't know. (Everyone gasps)
Person: (taking bag) Never open your bag!
D.W; But--
Person: You open that bag and you're outta the clubhouse. (gives the bag back, but it jumps around, shocking everyone. D.W. grabs it but it keeps jumping. It escapes)
James: (outside the door) Don't, D.W.! Please, D.W!
(D.W. gasps, the bag opens and the phrase "James split his pants" comes out of it)
D.W: (wakes up, screams, runs into the room where Mrs. Read is making toast) Mom, can I stay home today? I think I'm sick.
Mrs Read: Oh, what is it, honey? Do you feel nauseous? (feels D.W's forehead) Sore throat?
D.W.: I think I have secret-itis.
Mrs. Read: (lets Thora in) Thanks, Thora. You're a lifesaver.
Arthur: Hi, Grandma. (hugs Thora)
Thora: Hello, Arthur. (Arthur leaves)
Mrs Read: D.W. needs a flop day but these appointments can't wait. I'll be back at two. (leaves)
Thora: (sits by D.W. who is lying on the couch watching TV) So, your mother tells me you have a very distinctive ailment. Secrets can be hard, can't they?
D.W.: I think I hate them.
Thora: Well, I'll tell you a secret: I used to suffer from secret-itis myself until I was ten, when I found the perfect something to tell my secret to. (gives D.W. a shell, they're in a boat) Go ahead and shout it, dear! As loud as you can.
D.W.: James split his pants!
Thora: Now, throw it as far as you can! (D.W. throws the shell into the sea, Thora feels her forehead) Maybe I'm wrong, but I think you're better. What do you think?
(D,W, gets dropped off at school)
Emily: Hey, D.W. I missed you yesterday. I spent a whole day thinking about what your secret could be. Can you tell me now?
D.W.: (whispering) I learnt how to keep a secret.
Emily: Really? How. (D.W. whispers in Emily's ear) Really?!
D.W.: Yep, but you can't tell anybody.
Emily: I won't. Wow, that is so cool.
(the phrase "James split his pants" comes out of the shell and confuses two seagulls)
Category:Season 10 transcripts
Category:A to Z
Category:Transcripts