nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Tales From the Burgerverse: Christmas Spirit

Merry Christmas, chucklefucks. Oh, were you expecting a story? Ight. Once upon a time, a legally distinct version of Slenderman named Fenderbenderman showed up in Spooksmouth, Massacrechuessetts. He crashed his car into a chestnut tree and left smoldering ruins behind. Fortunately, Fenderbenderman walked into the McDonald's.exe across the street while jaywalking, causing cars to swerve into houses and into each other. Fenderbenderman was a professional demolition derby driver. Fenderbenderman walked in with an unnecessary charisma to the overworked and underpaid employee five seconds from a mental breakdown.
"I'll have twenty Large Macs!" Fenderbenderman said.
The poor cashier simply walked out and threw their apron into a burning car.
"How will I get to Santa's house now?" Fenderbenderman pondered as he stood in the middle of the dining area, blocking half the seats. "I got it!"
And so, Fenderbenderman ran across the highway and caused innumerable amounts of pileups ranging between two and twenty cars. 
"And he raaan. He ran so far away! And he raaan! He ran all night and day!" Fenderbenderman sang to himself as he cut off a SUV and brake checked them immediately.
Through sheer unfortunate luck for those around him, Fenderbenderman eventually reached Santa's Sleigh. He ran across the frozen waters of the Arctic Ocean and leapt over the frigid fjords of Greenland.
"Ho ho- Oh fuck! Not you again!" Santa yelped in fright.
"The insurance deemed you at fault for not having your headlights on, Saint Dick!" Fenderbenderman retorted.
"You replaced one of my flying reindeer with a regular one!" Santa wept.
And so they stared each other down until one of Santa's neighbors started yelling at them about it being three in the fucking morning.
"Alright. You wanna help me with my job so bad? You can be the guy who holds the GPS." Santa sighed.
And for the first time in his life, Fenderbenderman didn't crash a motor vehicle.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Holidays
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Shortpasta
Tales From the Burgerverse: Diobard Thawne Brando Strikes Again!

It was a calm, cool and crisp July night in the middle of Southern Florida, the nice and relaxing 105% humidity and 94 degree heat really made it soothing. It was incredibly quiet, the incessant honking of car horns on the highway not withstanding. My phone was low on battery, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him. No! It wasn't Shia Le Boeuf. He's busy wearing a paper bag on his head while ranting about frogs in Albania. I really saw Eobard Thawne! But... no... it could not be!
IT WAS DIOBARD THAWNE BRANDO! HE IS PURE PETTINESS AND THEN SOME!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
Tales From the Burgerverse: Generic Blockbuster Movie with Action and High Name Actor

wun day JEFF THE KILLER went to da store wit his hunee JANE DA KILLER and then ALL OF MY BLOOD WAS PUNCHED OUT AND MY SKELETON POPPED OUT AND ZOMG IT WAS 2SPOOKY4ME!!!!!!!!!!1!
Then! Jack Black joined and played the same tired character he has played for the past 20 something years.
AND THEN A MOTHERFUCKING EXPLOSIONG AT THE GROCERY STORE WHERE ALL OF THE CREEPYPASTA CHARACTERS GET THEIR TOMATO SAUCE
Coming this summer: Jeff the Killer vs Jason Vorhees
With Jack Black played Jason and Jeff playing Jeff.
Directed by Some Corporate Jackass.
Script below:
[15 minutes of opening credits]
Opening Scene: Establishing shot. Establish that Jeff the Killer lives in a house. Establish location as Gary, Indiana.
todo HOW DID THE PROGRAMMING WIZARDS GET IN HERE
fix: how do we work with the fucking director when he wants us to program a blender
sudo GIVE UP
Scene 1: Jeff the Killer, played not by Jack Black but by some random guy pulled off the road, kicks down door. Stock woman scream. Stock knife stab sounds. Stock blood effects.
Queue dialogue: "I FINALLY FLAYED THIS FETID MORTAL OF THEIR MATERIAL SKIN!"
note from script writer: Corporate made us write this. Also when did Jeff have cybernetics?
Abridged memorandum: Corporate probably made him with whatever the janitor could find.
Scene 2: Jeff turns to looked at the camera. Slash effect. Title splash.
Note from effects department: HOW DO YOU MAKE THE SLASH FROM THE LEFT MAKE A RIGHT SIDE SLASH
Scene 3: Establishing shot of Camp Crystal Lake, somewhere in New Jersey. Jason Vorhees swims across the largest lake to catch a boat. Gives person inside a life jacket. Proceeds to slam tackle box into fisher's head.
note from lore nerd: fuck this i quit
Scene 4: The boat explodes as Jason swims away. Have Jason teleport to Gary, Indiana via Greyhound bus.
Scene 5: Queue boring character.
"Did you hear about..." they start.
Cut camera to Jeff the Killer at the gas station. Buys hot dog. (Not actual hot dog. Just a prop made with a rug)
Scene 6: Jane the Killer walks in the same gas station. Queue 20 minutes of unbroken dialouge.
note from script writers: we can't work with this!
End draft.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:English Class Failure
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Tales From the Burgerverse: Half-Dead

This is an abridged version of a transcript of a livestream. All extraneous content has been expunged for brevity. The original stream has been bombarded with several low orbit ion cannons because the Illuminati.
[0:00] Stream begins, view of face partial obscured by camera lens cap. Disgruntled efforts to remove the cap begin.
[1:34] Person becomes visible, but drops camera.
[1:45] Stream begins proper, approximately thirteen (13) individuals are watching.
[4:20] Streamer, who will henceforth be referred to as Vegeta as shorthand for the username of VegetaNinjaXXX, makes a poorly timed joke about clouds.
Fifteen (15) minutes of extraneous content expunged.
[20:04] Vegeta boots up "Half-Life 2", acquired from a filesharing site. Filesharing site has, as of yet, not been found.
[21:43] Vegeta records himself playing 'Half-Life 2", but seems to be stuck in the tutorial.
Five (5) minutes of extraneous content expunged.
[27:03] Vegeta starts laughing as a pentacle appears on his screen for one tenth of a second. The pentacle used for the image has been, as of yet, only been found within this copy of 'Half-Life 2".
[28:40] Vegeta finds an in game item known as the Gravity Gun. Hundreds of random Citizen non player characters, or NPC for shorts, appeared suddenly as ragdolls. Vegeta laughs harder than previously recorded as the ragdolls haphazardly flap about.
[31:00] Vegeta enters the map of Ravenholm, as a model of a skeleton spawns directly in front of him. The skeleton stops waving its arms frantically before shrugging and walking away.
Forty-five (45) minutes of extraneous content expunged.
[1:17:02] Vegeta laughs as, what he called it, hyperrealistic blood appears to spawn as thousands of Citizen non player character ragdolls spawn above the player. Vegeta clutches his chest before regaining composure.
[1:20:40] A horned individual exits Vegeta's computer screen. The horned individual points at Vegeta before slumping its shoulders and leaving the room. Vegeta stares in bewilderment.
[1:24:18] Vegeta laughs to the point of going purple in the face as multiple skeletons spawn in front of him before having fatal cardiac arrest. Stream continues for thirty-three (33) minutes before cutting off.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:Memes
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Collab
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Satire
Tales From the Burgerverse: Of Boxes and Burgers

Boxing Day. The day I had to live out of a box for a McDonald's.exe Large Mac. Record scratch. Freeze frame. You might be wondering how I got into this mess. Well, it's a short story with about four hundred paragraphs.
I am a sentient hamburger; made from the finest grade Z mystery meat substitute product that you get paid to take off their hands. The bread congealed together with the lowest quality sawdust and biohazardous waste from Chuck E. Cheese ball pits. I just woke up in the kitchen of a Chuck E. Cheese's somewhere in Massacrechussetts. Last thing I remember was reading a creepypasta at three in the fucking morning despite all the warning signs. Well, when I woke up, I saw death cap and Aminata mushrooms growing in the walk-in fridge. An owl person thing walked in and looked at me and simply went "Hoo" before wiping up hyper realistic ketchup.
Then some fat fuck who can't fit through the door freaked out when they saw me in the box, just kinda blinking.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Holidays
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Inside Jokes
Tales From the Burgerverse: Of the Meta and Memetics

I was an intern at Nickelodeon Studios, where I worked under the management of Jeff the Killer, Ben Drowned, Sonic.Exe, EVIL PATRIXXX and his friends, Slenderman, and other creepypasta characters I can't be assed to write. In my downtime as an intern between running donuts and watching spooky lost episodes made as a prank, I decided to take a stab at writing. EVIL PATRIXXX and his friends didn't care, for my being a lowly intern was of little, if any, importance to them. Then, one day, as the red sun rose over the paradise of Los Angeles, EVIL PATRIXXX READ MY STORY WHERE HE DIED AND THEN I DIED!!!!1!
This is a story all about how my life got flip turned upside down;
and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there!
I'll tell you how I became the EVIL PRINCEXXX OF BEL AIRXXX!
There once was a guy who could never be tolled
He was told his voice was of gold
He'd never give you up
Nor let you down
LOL you got Limerick-Rolled
Hello. This is EVIL PATRIXXX. I do not care for such lowly trite involving my faults. MUAHAHA. If you dare to write a similar story that I daren't transcribe to protect your lowly mortal minds, YOUR NEXT!!!!!1!
A hamburger stared listlessly into the empty void, nary a thing in sight but white with blue and black carvings in the sky, the occasional purple to break up the tedium. The silent void went on for endless eons, and the only way to pass the time was to leave more carvings in the nothingness, simply to pass the time. The strangest of sights caught the hamburger's black and red eyes; an arrowhead that rapidly changes into a human hand, as if pointing at something.
"The same thing..." The hamburger whispered to itself.
The blank infinite warped into a wall of carvings and an image of a vague humanoid shape, whiter than snow and looking like a fish.
And so, the hamburger simply went back to aimless meandering as if there was anywhere to go. Maybe going where everyone else does should do the trick. Carving more stories identical to the last, generations untold the loop repeating...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Memes
Category:Satire
Category:Cliche Madness
Tales From the Burgerverse: Same Day Shipping

As I pulled out of what remained of Purity, Texas, I headed eastward on Route 66 towards El Reno, Texas. I had to find somewhere to go northbound towards Canada's islands. It's a long drive, roughly 36 hours uninterrupted without traffic at all. Unfortunately, as I approached Ontario, a blizzard started to roll in making it impossible to drive at all, even using something built for such harsh conditions. My boss would have my ass for this because he expects same day shipping, regardless of how far the drive is. The snow and ice finally relented after several days and I could finally drive, but my boss would want me to find a way to drive through the Arctic Sea. In a chilling sight, the water was frozen over, and my truck didn't crack it.
"Hoo." The recipient greeted with.
Then my boss yelled over the phone because I was a day late. Fuck this job.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Rants
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Tales From the Burgerverse: The Day the Karens Stood Still

I was an intern at Burger King, and it was my first day. I just escaped the McDonald's location in Detroit with the clown nurses. I was hopeful that the mystery meat that was delivered wasn't the same thing as McDonald's, which was pencil erasers and seagulls. An asshole customer walked up to the register, reeking of box wine and Utah names.
"I WANT A HAMBURGER ADD CHEESE!" She screamed.
"Not if you talk like that." I said back.
The Karens around the world malfunctioned. World peace was a thing, until everyone had this nagging feeling of "well, now what do we do?"
Oh, yea. A skeleton emerged.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:I WAS AN INTERN AT
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
Tales From the Burgerverse: The Skeleton, The Wardrobe and The Crazy Neighbor

Twas the night of Hallow's Eve, and I heard a faint rapping and a tapping at my chamber door. I threw it open and my pet Raven, Edgar Allen Crow, greeted me happily.
"Gwah." Edgar Allen Crow greeted.
I opened the door to my wardrobe, which I inherited from my crazy grandmother. She carved a meatloaf recipe into it. BUT A SKELETON POPPED OUT!
"Oh, hey Kyle. Sorry to wake you." I apologized.
"No worries! It's Halloween!" Kyle celebrated.
"HEY! FUCK IS YOU CITYFOLK TALKING ABOUT?!" Crazy Neighbor yelled.
The door to my house was kicked down by my asshole neighbor, and Edgar Allen Crow didn't take kindly to people who kick down my front door. So he started pecking the crap out of his face. Kyle snuck up behind the neighbor and fucking scared him to dead by popping out when he least expected it. Turns out my neighbor had a heart condition I didn't know about.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Animulz
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Tales from the Mind Of CrazyFerret: 1

For Doug it had seemed like a normal day at work. He had no idea of the horrible fate that awaited him.
As Doug trudged out of the office building he worked at, his briefcase in one hand and his coffee in the other, he wondered what he had done to deserve such a boring life. As he slowly walked to his car he began to wonder his life would be like if his high school football coach had let him play more. His daydreams of scoring the winning touchdown in the Superbowl were interrupted by an excited voice calling from back at the enterance of the office.
As Doug turned around he saw the one thing he had prayed he would never have to encounter... It was Jim, the oddball from accounting. Jim always gave off a bad vibe and Doug avoided him whenever he could.
"Hey Doug! How's it going?" Jim excitedly chirped rushing to catch up with him.
"It's going." Doug said unenthusiatically, hoping his tone of voice would clue Jim in that he wasn't in the mood for a conversation.
"Look I can tell you are busy so I'll cut to the chase." Jim said. "I got a party coming up and I am inviting everyone from the office. I'd like for you to come."
"Look Jim... I'm really busy right now and I don't think I'll be able to make it." Doug said while his mind raced searching for an excuse that would get him out of having to go to this party.
"I didn't tell you when it was..." Jim muttered.
"Look, I've got a lot on my plate right now and my schedule is booked. I won't be going to any parties anywhere for a long while. I've got to get going." Doug said as he placed his coffee on top of his car and got out his keys.
"Oh, okay." Jim said dejectedly. "I guess I'll see you soon, then."
"Later!" Doug said as he qucikly closed his car door. As he pulled out of the parking area of his office building he began to wonder what Jim had meant by 'See you soon.' To his shock when he looked back into the parking lot, he did not see Jim walking to his car. Suddenly, Doug came to a horrible realization...
He had left his coffee on the top of his car.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:English Class Failure
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Old Shit
Talia

Warning: this short story has religious content in it and a dark theme. Viewers discretion is advised.
There once was a girl named Talia. She loved animals, her Mom and her Dad. she grew up living in a small one-story house. She lived with her Mom, Dad and a pet turtle. Her parents were allergic to fur, so Talia got a pet turtle for her 9th birthday.
Her life was great, until one faithful month she heard that an unidentified man recently escaped from prison. She wasn't worried, after all she did know how to defend herself from harm.
One day Talia was outside and playing with her friends in some cornstalk fields. Suddenly she started to hear a loud thumping noise start behind her. Talia thought it was one of her friends, so she turned around and ran towards the noise. The noise stopped, Talia stopped as well. What she saw haunted her for the rest of her short life. Standing at ten feet, a lot taller than the cornstalks was a man, in a tuxedo and pale white skin worst of all, no face. No eyes, ears, nose or mouth, nothing.Suddenly her vision went black.
Hours later she woke up to find herself tied to a table in a dim lit room. She was very scared, so she tried to scream, but a bandana was covering her mouth, so her scream sounded like a "mmmmSshhhhh". Talia saw the silhouette of a man in front of her. Once the dark adjusted to her eyes she could see that the man looked old and had grey and white strands of hair on his chin.
The man swiftly moved over and grabbed something sharp from a pocket. Talia started to cry knowing that her life would be over in less a moment. Suddenly she heard herself scream in agony. Talia still is trying to find her murderer. [Even though he's dead]
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Jeff the Killer
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Shortpasta
Talk

Have you ever been alerted that someone contributed to the "Talk" page of an article, but there was nothing when you looked? I sure have. At first, I Googled it, and didn't find anything. Then I asked around, seeing if anyone else saw this, and still found nothing.
Later, when I was on the MineCraft forums, I got this crazy message. It said "youvebeenlookingforit". I replied "For what lol".
"invisibletalking".
I knew this guy knew what he was talking about.
"Do you know how to see it?"
"typetalkintoyourbrowser"
".com, .net, .org, what?"
"talk".
I did as I was told. It brought me to a website with only a download link called "talk", which houses the download "talk.exe". I downloaded it, then scanned it. Virus free. I executed the file.
It made a window appear with just a black background.
I went to the talk page that was missing text, and I saw what it said.
It was in green text, and surprisingly, it was an entire creepypasta. I looked around for more hidden creepypasta, and found quite a few, and they were all really good.
I spent quite a while looking for and reading the green pasta. I read a really weird one that was about talk.exe and green pasta. The strange thing about it was that it said that the walls felt really soft afterwards.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Old Shit
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Talk about shark

talk about shark, you see... shark not eat human on purpose, but they eat human of course , but they think human is seal, and dolphin is good, dolphin attack shark, shark are peanut brain, so dolphin have to have war on shark, dolphin dont attack other thing, shark versus dolphin, dolphin ate shark because of pneumonia, shark smell blood, you see... shark can detect electric wave so if they detect fish electric heart beat wave then they kill. shark dont like human blood, shark like fish blood... dolphin wen see shark they kill. dog can swim so... dolphin and dog beat up shark... and shark is chicken, cat cant swim so... shark and cat versus dog and dolphin world war 2
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
Talk it! Rip it! (Scary edition)

Hello, as u are reddding this messege Ii am dying
Let me explin
I was goig to my local lmon seller before I saw an old man scrraem at 6 childen. O walkd up to him and akeds "hello what's the mtter" and he shoed me a cd with mrrrker written on it saying "tlk it! Old prototype"
He said "hello yungng man, do you want tthis."
I said n9 but suenly he dropki3cked me and I becomme uncconscios...
I wke up with my hands coered in hyper-realistic blood and gt up. I sw a cd saying "talk it! old p4ototype" and I saed "eh, why not.
8 placed the prtotype disc into my pc, and$ it booted me to a fole explorrer folder with 1 ppkgram on it.
"Talk itt! Rip it.EXE"
I was conused on the name at first but I hsrugged it off as a gjitch. And then I opened ht...
An error message appeared with the name of "666" saying: "WARNING THIS HAS BEEN TAKEN OFF BOUNDSS BY THE "TALK IT!" CORPERRATION! DO ;OT!"
I clicked "proceed" anyays. And the program boited up and I saw tjhis:
i was shittng and pifssing myself in hfear I clicked a voice nervusly and typed in somting
the thng I typed in was "hllo my name is fart" and clicked irp tit
the voice was disembodied, it sounded b4reathy and whiprrery.
suddenlys. Hyper-realistic faces flashed on my sceen, they looked incerndibly scry.
but then after 12 secods one of the facs got close to my screan and sliced my @rm off.
my pc started to iv9erheat
oh no
i tried going to the fire ehttinguisher in my room but I couldn't.
my vison is fadyng as I t6pe itihs. Goodbye...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Crappy ms paint drawings
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Im died
Talking About Death

Mr. Penn has worked as a Kindergarten teacher for over 9 years. However, on the first day of his 10th year teaching, the class of 20 kids he got was very quiet. As he talked to them, each of them said that they were dead. Mr. Penn tried getting everyone to stop, but none of them were listening to him. Eventually, they ran outside for recess. As soon as they left, the principal walked in the classroom and told Mr. Dunn that his entire class died in a bus crash.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Shortpasta
Talking Dirty

So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut.
She said "dirtier!" So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is.
She said "dirtier!" So I said "I'm gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I'm gonna put it in long and deep. I'm gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts."
She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we're getting a divorce.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Memes
Category:Shortpasta