EVILL PATRIXX'S KINGDOM OF SKELETRONS

I don't know how long I have left, but I am writing this because I am going to die. I delved too deep into the dark arts of wizardry and it's too late for me. But I will tell you this: whatever you do, NEVER, I repeat, NEVER TRY TO HELP TO THE SPOOKY SKELETONS UNPROTECTED.
I suppose you are wondering what happened to cause all this, but you probably won't believe it caused this much death and bloodshed. A few weeks ago, me and my mates were online playing CS:GO when one of us got an ad to a second-hand antique ouija board. It was on sale for $0.10, which was very cheap for something this old. I thought: 'Hey, why don't we mess around with this board? I mean nothing will happen, so let's just mess around,' So one of me mates bought it using her mom's credit card (she was very kind to let us do so even though we're grown ass men in their late 20s with no jobs), and the next day, a package came to her house.
That night, we began the ritual to summon some crazy demonic skeleton thing from the internet. At first, nothing happened. But when we tried it a second time, my friend (who is a woman) started having her period. Now I know what you're thinking: 'how the fuck did you know that, you perv?' You know it's kind of difficult not to know that someone is one their period when their pants become soaked in blood and blood is dripping down their legs. We thought this was normal, considering the moon was red and all, so we continued the ritual. The third time we did it, something awful happened. A skeleton of a fetus flew out of my mate's vagina, shredding her pants and panties in the process. There was so much blood, so much blood. I immediately called 911 and waited for the operator to answer. To my surprise, she answered back (I thought in this situation some shitty thing would happen like empty batteries, no signal or some other crap like that. The paramedics arrived soon after and took her to the hospital. The doctor said her ovaries suffered third-degree burns; the womb, second. She asked if she could ever have children; the doctor said 'no'. To everyone's surprise, she smiled and softly but gladly said: 'I have been liberated from my burdens and suffering. No! More! Menstruation! Yaaaaay!' Despite this incident, she insisted we continue.
On the month of October, we gathered together (excluding the woman in the hospital, who wanted to find out the anomalies of this board) to mess around with this some more with the dark arts. This time, we came prepared: two Remington 870s, a molotov, a butterfly knife, and a pistol. We began at 8PM and for a few hours, nothing out of the ordinary happened. Suddenly, at 11PM, a bloody skeleton emerged from the ouija board in
a fireball. It said: 'please help so much suffering burns death' One of us touched its hand to pull it out of the fire; I wish I yelled at him to back away from it. The skeleton leaped forward and ripped his head off, killing him instantly. His body fell to the ground and gushed out so much blood, so so much blood. The skeleton continue to eat his dead corpse as we tried to call the police. The phone rang, but said: 'You have met a terrible fate, haven't you?' 'No! No! No! This is not happening, 'I thought to myself. I grabbed a Remington and blew that son of a bitch's skull to pieces and kicked his body back to hell.
Suddenly, we were teleported to another dimension, a scary one. There was a rock ceiling, convincing us we were in a cave; fire was present and the temperature must have been 106 degrees. I saw many bones and organs belonging to many creatures scattered on the ground. After a minute of walking, we were ambushed by a deity that was definitely not Greek in origin. It had four limbs and head, all conical. Its flesh was a dark pink with darkness covering most of it. It had a Glock and a flaming trident. He and his minions (spooky skeletons) wore dark blue top hats; sewn onto his hat was the name: 'EVIL PATRIXXX' I immediately tossed my molotov once I saw that name, but EVIL PATRIXXX ate it in mid-air. One of my mates shot it with a shotgun, but it was in vain. EVIL PATRIXXXX shot a blood laser at him and stripped his flesh off. Seeing this I immediately ran with some shells and a Remington. 'Coward! Traitor!' those words came to my head as I ran, but I knew that EVIL PATRIXXX is definitely something to be scared of. 
I managed to get away; I don't know what happened to the others. Luckily, my laptop came down with me and I can record this. Two skeletons approached me, but I blew their heads off before they could alert the others. I have been surviving on cow flesh found on the ground, cooked by the heat. I don't know how long I have left; EVIL PATRIXXX is hunting me with his skeleton minions. But whatever you do, never help a bloody skeleton from a ouija board, you will definitely regret it...
I can hear a loud clicking sound. I hear laughter. EVIL PATRIXXX is coming...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Skeletons
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:EVIL PATRIXXX