5288: Don Jon

==Explanation==
==The author writes:==
Best read while listening to "Yakety Sax".
Original strips: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .
==Transcript==
Jon: I have a date every night this week!
Jon: Because the women, they love me!
Garfield: How was your date?
Jon: I think I made an impression on her
Jon: I tried to impress my date with humor tonight
Garfield: Uh-oh
Jon: Then I noticed I was wearing my underwear on the outside of my pants
Garfield: Sick
Jon {scratched up and disheveled}: My, don't you look lovely this evening
Jon: What a weird date. I took out this lady who was raised by wolves
{Jon is grinning and dancing with a broom for... reasons...}
Garfield: You gonna date for a while, or marry and start a family right away?
{Jon is playing in the mud with Garfield and Odie}
Jon: Gee, that was fun, boys, but I gotta get ready for my date at seven
{Jon suddenly notices his date}
Jon: Or was that six?
Jon's Date: HELP! HELP! MY DATE IS TALKING ABOUT STAMPS!
Jon: Actually, my last date tried to poison me
Jon: I'm taking my bongos!
Garfield: See you at 8:30
Jon: Garfield, I have a date tonight!
Garfield: I'll alert the media
Jon: I'm having trouble getting a date
Jon: She loves how I dress
Garfield: He's dating a clown!
Jon: That was a terrible date
Jon: She only had to be sedated twice }Jon is smiling about this for some reason}
Jon {holding a sock drawer}: I'm taking my sock drawer
Garfield: The Binky the Clown socks should stay home
Jon: The chicks don't return my calls, Garfield
Jon {singing}: ...got a date with an angel...
Garfield: Not anymore
Jon: Orpha, this is Jon. I have your teeth
Garfield: Oh, baby, baby
Jon's Date 2: I ran screaming from the room
Garfield: You'll have to be more specific
Jon {disheveled}: Why did you do that?!
Garfield: Because your date is at the door
Jon: My date said she hates me more than almost anything
Answering Machine: *Beep*... Jon, this is Cindy. I've changed my name. You'll never find me! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Jon {talking to his date on the phone}: You'll be carrying a skull?
Garfield: Stay in well-lit areas
Answering Machine: *Beep*... Jon?... Marsha... I can't date you because I'm allergic to boring
Jon: Mom set me up on a blind date with a girl from back on the farm
Answering Machine: *Beep*... Jon, this is Nancy. Don't come over. You'll never get over the moat
Euphemia: Do you find my name amusing?
Jon {trying (not very) hard not to laugh}: Nope!... Just a little leg cramp...
Answering Machine: *Beep*... Jon, this is Mary... I bought a vicious dog trained to attack at the scent of bad cologne
Jon: No, I don't mind her mime troupe chaperoning us...
Garfield: Ain't a flag big enough OR red enough
Answering Machine: *Beep*... Jon, this is Sandy. Call one more time and I'll break your dialing finger
Jon: Do you know what a really wet, really mad sheep dog looks like?
Garfield: First dates are always so awkward
Jon: Denise, I need a date for New Years... I'm begging you... I'll do anything
Jon: I haven't had a date in months
Garfield: Time sure flies when you're not having fun
Jon: Bad date, Garfield
Jon: Bad date, Garfield
Jon: Bad date, Garfield
Jon: Bad date, Garfield
Jon: Bad date, Garfield
Jon: Bad date, Garfield
Jon: Bad date, Garfield
Jon: That was Debbie calling to cancel our date
Jon: She calls me once a week to tell me she'll never go out with me
Jon: Please, please, please, please, please, please go out with me
Jon: And I'm about as desperate as a monkey in a banana famine
Jon: My date tried to have me arrested for being boring
Jon: Bad date, Garfield
Jon: A blind date at a monster truck rally, what was I thinking?
Jon {wearing nothing but a bow tie}: What an embarrassing date
Garfield: Imagine that
Jon {shirtless}: The pager went off
Armando: Um... table for two?
Liz: And a bag for my head
Jon: I don't think my date enjoyed the evening
Jon's Date 3 {off-panel}: EEEYAAAAAAAAHHH!
Jon: We went out on a date once
Garfield: I kinda figured that out
Jon: Liz yawned on our date tonight...
Category:U. N. Owen