Girl Cup

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Because I know for a fact that I don't feel like a cup. Not after what happened a few days ago... I was on Tumblr when I saw a post talking about solo cups. It read: "Seriously y'all. What in the yeehaw screamin', cousin lovin', rammer jammer yellow hammer, AC unit fallin' out the window, red solo cups in the dishwasher, sweet tea induced diabetes, tractor crossing, truck meet attending, aluminum foil on the windows," but I got bored and stopped reading the post. I then went outside to touch grass because people told me to on Discord since I ranted about my Kitten ignoring me. As soon as I reached for some grass I felt something go up my bumhole. Owie! I pulled it out and the object in question was a guy in black's finger. I hit him and he cried. He then ran away and dropped a foam cup while doing so. I picked it up and noticed that "Girls" was written on it in Sharpie twice. I dropped the cup on ground to do literally anything other than analyze a cup.
A couple days later my weekend is now over and I had to go to my job. After a few hours of business as usual I suddenly felt sick. I then vomited all over my boss but he said he liked it. Out of nowhere, the same cup from earlier teleported behind me. I just stared at it. After about a few minutes it slowly faded away. I got to go home early and before I left my boss kissed me on the cheek. As soon as I got home I got on my couch and put on the TV. A news report about the guy in black from earlier made me realize that I was far from his only victim. I then had to go potty. While taking a fat shit, suddenly, the cup started slowly rising from out of my toilet. Before it could slide up my ass I jumped out of the way.
A note came out of my toilet. It read: "meow". I left my bathroom in tears. Why would it say that? Notes aren't kitties! Speaking of which, I returned to my Discord Kitten and told them what has been going on for the past couple days. "Lmao" they said. "No you don't understand this is serious!" they then did a stinky winky. We got on Bed Wars only for someone to join our lobby. Their username was "GirlCup". Rut Roh. Me and my Kitten got on voice chat with the mofo and I turned up my mic as intimidation tactic. "PIZZUH HUT WATCHA WANT?" I shouted. "Your balls" the cup replied. "What?" "Your balls. Give them to me." My kitten then put dat bitch in their place: "Nuuu his ballsy wallsy are mine you foam chrome dome Rome tone hoe ass cup!" This angered the foam cup. Out of nowhere, my Kitten screamed like hell. My Kitten's camera was turned on and it showed them dead and with "I have killed your Kitten. Your next!" written in blood on the wall.
They ended the call. I left my house but the guy in black returned and hit me in the back of my head. I woke up in a mineshaft. I'm a Barbie Girl, in the abandoned mineshaft! The guy and fucking cup were staring at me. Two girls then came up to me. One of them shit in the cup. The other girl ate it and threw up. That was when I finally realized what it all meant. Two "Girls" written on the cup? Two Girls One Cup.
I found my Kitten's dead body on floor which motivated me to use my true power. You see, after indirectly causing WWI and WWII, I fard on Peter Griffin. This gave me some of his power. I then unleashed my True Form.
The girls, cup, and guy hissed. They could not handle such beauty. They all melted screaming "I'm melting, melting! Ah, what a gay world! What an Anime world!" My Kitten then got up. Turns out that they did not die because my new appearence is too seggsy. I walked up to them and said "Sex Now".
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Memes
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Well, that was pointless.