Yaoi Hands

I am writing this article because I want to warn you all from a monster. I've been working for over 7,86 years as a cryptozoologist and have discovered many terrifying creatures as real, but none of them was worse than this one.
But it's probably better if I begin at the start. My first "case" (it was about a large being without a face) has been lying multiple weeks in the past and I was desperately at search for a new being, for an even more terrifying being. And eventually I found a very old book. It was almost exclusively composed of images and was made to be read in a seemingly prehistorical order so that sentences were to be read from end to beginning most of the time. But this isn't important, since the images tell enough. Already on the first page I saw IT. It almost had the appearance of a human. His head, however, was somewhat narrower and longer than that of a regular human, furthermore was the neck far thinner. His shoulders, however, were very broad and his upper body was extremely muscled. It had an almost female thin waist and slim, abnormally long legs. His face would almost have been confusable with a human's had it a larger nose and smaller eyes. His arms were long and thin, but what scared me most were its hands. They were gigantic, the fingers were too long and thin like spider legs. On further images, it held with these fingers young men who couldn't have been older than twelve years. And it didn't stay with IT touching them with these giant hands... when I saw for the first time what it did, I was close to vomiting. With every page it became worse, more ill, more perverted... 50 Shades was nothing compared to that... no matter how much this being disgusted me, it had awakened my interest and instinctively I felt that it HAD to exist. No human could make up something like that... something so ill. The problem was the being's name. The book was very old; the title no longer readable. Only on the backside... On the backside I found the strange word "yaoi". Therefore I named this disgusting being "Yaoi Hands".
My initial research in the library revealed nothing and so I began searching in the depths of the internet. And what I found there... It appears that there is a cult about "Yaoi Hands". They wrote things like "No Yaoi No Life", "Yaoi until dath", "We don't need cookies - we have Yaoi", "Yabroi" and other, sick stuff. But what shocked me most: After some research I recognised that almost all of these cult members were female and underage. What kind of brainwashing was it that these girls have undergone? It did not let me go. After multiple weeks, I did it: The cult has recognized me as a member and invited be to a grand meeting. As I found out soon after, they disguised it under the name "Book Fair Leipzig". The day came quicker than expected on which I entered a vessel disguised as a regular traveling bus and set off. Having arrived, I froze. The entire hall was filled with... strange hybrid beings which only revealed themselves under further inspection as humans in strange ritual clothing. They had long horns, incredibly unreal wings, weapon such as I've never seen and also wore Masks tat seemed like they were made of toxin-filled plastic, but seemingly had the purpose to make them look like their gods. I only arranged to meet with one cult member and so I waited in the coffeeshop for her. At first, I would not have identified her as human, as she was wearing cat ears instead of human ones, abnormally large paws (which I believe signalizes affiliation with the "Yao Hands" clan) instead of normal hands and a fluffy tail, which supposedly, like her cat ears, moved depending on her mood. On first glance, she looked, ignoring her cult clothing, like a normal girl. But when she began talking, this was over. She talked about things like a boy named "Pico", how much she wished that "Sebas-Chan" and "the small, cuddly Ciel" came together, that "Doitsu" should finally do it with "Italy" (I didn't understand this one at all) and that she wished for the new volume "...". I was stunned. What had been done to these girls? In this moment, I decided to find and kill "Yaoi Hands". Since then, two years assed. I often find descendants of "Yaoi Hands" (I call them "Shonen-Ai"), but I did not yet meet the true "Yaoi Hands". While his descendants can easily be burned, they reproduce in a short time like magic and occupy two territories, bookstores and the internet. I didn't find any functioning banishment method except reports for copyright infringement. But against so-called "web mangas", even that does not help. They want to erect a monopoly and only when they succeed, the true "Yaoi Hands" will reveal himself.
We need to stop him and put all members of his cult into mental hospitals to cure them. But... since I began hunting "Yaoi Hands", my hands have ceaselessly started growing, my shoulders have become broader, by neck thinner. That is worrying me. Maybe IT reproduces like a vampire through contact with drawings of him. If that should be the case... kill me, before IT gains control and rapes you all.
Originally written in German
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Beings
Category:WHAT A TWIST!