Beak Lions

Category:Long articles that ramble on about nothing
WARNING: This article is longer than the lifespan of Queen Elizabeth II, and may be used as a sleeping aid, to torture your children when they misbehave, or to molest a beaver wearing a tank top. It's better than having mentally handicapped sex with a virgin in a sewer system in Japan. Trust me on this one, it can kill your will to live on this autistic world, And if you already are feeling sucidal, that aint my fucking problem.
DOUBLE WARNING: This article contains large amounts of fucking swearing. This article was possibly made by someone with Tourette's Syndrome , a 13 year old that has no concept of reality and believes that Hitler birthed Jews on Tuesday riding a whale, or a make a wish kid that is going to die from 30 diseases at once. Please be cautious while reading, as long-term exposure could result in Mental Retardation, Loss of Brain cells, Cancer, Aids, HIV, Mesothelioma, and cause Jewish Hippos to invade your house only on Fridays. 
TRIPPLE WARNING: This seizure fest of bullshit, cancer, aids, and 38 different type of diabetes was the fault of its fucking creator, Dank Memes 21. This stupid motherfucker has decided to waste his fucking time of day to slam his fucking head on his motherfucking keyboard with his last fucking braincell. If you feel any anger towards this person, you best way of doing it is either beating his ass, throwing him in a volcano, or send him to Auschwitz same day shipping 
QUAD WARNING: I, DankMemes21, don't have all day to add, change, or alter the page. There is a lot of crap in this page that needs to be completely reworked. The Beaklion was a cursed abomination that has no right to exist, but I have many ideas, but not the time to spam them. If this does end up getting deleted, oh well, cry about it. I just have other things i would rather do and have to do besides try to apply any form of common sense to this page, but i will at least try when i have the time to, and if that isn't enough, well i will kindly go fuck myself and will never return. At least try to enjoy my failure of a creation, and my horrible attempts of applying the funny. 
==EARLY BULLSHIT OF BEAK LIONS==
A beak lion is basically an autistic griffin with no wings and the ones with down syndrome have only two legs and a fucked up body. They somehow fucking evolved over time, I don't fucking understand how the hell they could evolve with all this autism and down syndrome, but whatever. I shall cover all the beak lions faggotry beginnings, or not, FUCK YOU. Anyways, in the year 1623, The griffins and beak lions got into a massive ass war, the griffins lost because they were seen flying, and our dumb Cherokee musket using ass shot those flying beaky bastardization influential abominations to hell.
===The Beaky-Bitchy War===
The war listed somewhere in this god damn hell hole...find it yourself. Anyhow, the war of the beaky bitches is when the god damn autistic looking fetus killing dumb-ass looking scaly ass down-syndrome carrying beak lions went to war with the sissy ass flying ass pedophile ass faggot ass griffins. The conflict began from a beak lion walked on a griffins foot. Which led to the griffin beating the ever living god out of his soul and shoving the entire god damn course into that griffins own ass. Any normal person would say or think, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?" but not those silly anal-loving griffins, it soon because recreational activities to have "anal hour" where you shove as many things into another griffins ass, with the use of beak lions. Those beaky bastards had enough of them being used at anal-dildos, so they come together and come with a great idea. Declare war? nope, they didn't do that, but they set the griffins house on fire and eat griffins that couldn't fly. Yeah, no one here is good, they are all just as horny, gay, and rapists like the rest. Yes, rapists, they also force themselves not by sexual contact, but by ramming themselves up the ass of an enemy, and make them explode.
====The Battle of Anal-Virginity====
The first and last battle of this beaky bitchy war, is where both sides would ram their beaks into the other anus, and inflict pain and death, BUT ONLY IN THE GOD DAMN FUCKING ANUS. An eye witness named "totally not a Jew" has said " They just kept shoving their beaks into each other's ass, i don't know why or what, but holy fuck is it funny." An occasional shit on the face has happened almost every penetration. Most of the deaths were from human fucking beings shooting those damn flying ass beaky ass vomit educing ass Mesothelioma wielding ass all the fucking way into hell, and the beak lions just ran deep into the Forrest, because their ass can't fly.
===AFTER THE AUTISTIC BEAKY BITCHY WAR===
After the war that didn't even last a fucking day, the beak lions by fucking mere chance won that damn war, but now the time period we are in, THEY FUCKING EVOLVED PAST AUTISM, but now, the disease the output is their own diseases with unique symptoms, what I mean is it's fucking random and will make you question " WHAT THE FUCK DID THAT BEAKY BASTARD DO?" The beak lions have two diseases. Beakskolionosis is a disease is when you wear anything with beak lion skin, and Beakmilitosius, where you end up consuming a beak lion. Overall, Pumpkins are enraged by the presence of the fucking stupid ass beak lions, which leads to the damn action of pumpkins of biting the fucking beak off of the beak lions, that's why we have normal ass lions now.
====Anal Birthing====
I swear to god if i have to watch this more than fucking once, i will find all the africans that reside in russia, and burn them, while ambutating myself with horse dicks, but i don’t believe i will ever have to fucking witness this torture ever again. I’m getting sidetracked, just like every presidential candidate, But after their damn evolution, they made a discovery amongst themselves how they was able to simply fucking breed. I bet you are so confused on how they existed without fucking each other, well let me answer your tennis ball brain of yours. They simply just use a Satanic ritual to summon more beak lions, Satan didn't give a damn what he sent so when he was asked to send multiple fucking Beak lions, he sent over 500 of them, which began a fucking crisis on the earth because Satan wouldn't count how many of these beak bastards he sent on the earth, and within a few weeks, the Earth was riddled with over 50+ million of those beaky boys. So when they discovered birthing, Satan threw a fucking party, but he celebrated way to early, because how they made more beaklions, is beyond the word cancer, abomination, and autism, that it bends logic as we see it and fucks it with the intent to make it explode, but explode with style.
#The Beaklion will lay on it's side and spin in a circle for five minutes
#Shit on itself
#Use that shit to assault everyone within a twenty yard radius
#dig its way into hell and theft Satan's Nintendo Switch (because logic)
#Another beaklion will arrive and take that switch and orally rape a Platypus
#The Platypus will High Velocity Spray the area with Eggs containing beaklions
#Pay the platypus $20 for the job
#Beat it with a red tailed dear
#extract the liver from the dear and the tail from the beaver
#Beat the fucking eggs until they hatch, then beat the beaklions
===Peanut butter fucking===
Even though the war was over, there was some autistic griffins that wished for more of that anal stretching bullshit. So here we fucking are, informing you on how they used fucking peanut butter to bait beak lions to crawl into their ass. This was very fucking stupid for multiple fucking reasons.
*While panicking, the beak lions would shit constantly until death, that means the griffins would inflate until combustion
*Some of the beak lions stole muskets so they just shot them dead
*they can breathe fire, so they would burn them to fucking death
I swear to fucking god I wonder how they fucking thought peanut butter of all fucking things would lure a beak lion to crawl into an ass. They had to have shoved so many fucking things of peanut butter in their ass so the beak lions wouldn't become curious. Bad for them, another creature's crack WAS peanut butter, so they would crawl into the ass, inflate, and explode.
==BEAK LION WARNINGS==
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BECOME THE DUMBEST IDIOT ON THE FACE OF THIS FUCKING EARTH, LISTEN UP!!
Do not let a god damn beak lion have access to your god damn computer you stupid autistic shit. Reasoning is that they will take their pencil dick and ram that into your USB drive and fuck that shit out of the GOD DAMN HARD-DRIVE
These fucking beak lions are responsible for all the outbreaks in the god damn earth. Ebola, The Black Plaque, Corona Virus, and for fucks sake CAUSED GOD TO FUCKING FLOOD THE EARTH. They thought they had escaped the beak lion, but to their god damn bitchy ass surprise, a beak lion was on the boat, because it went into god damn mother fucking stealth mode, at least until 1600. Everything was absolutely GREAT, until they wittiness a beak lion vomiting uncontrollably into the god damn punch bowl. The two beak lions did the following on the fucking boat
*Mauled the hippopotamus
*hid the wombats, THEY NEVER FOUND THEM UNTIL A FUCKING WEEK LATER IN THE FUCKING JANITORS CLOSET WITH A NOTE SAYING "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL"
*Cause ducks and beavers to fuck each other, and shove venomous snakes into their ass only on Saturdays, then BIRTHED THE PLATYPUS
*placed cactus needles on a normal ass hedgehog, then applied a whole can of hairspray
*Painted a horse black and white, and kept pissing it off by putting reindeer shit into their meal
*Stole all the god damn fucking hair from Naked Mole Rats and put it all on a fucking tarantula, NO SPIDER SHOULD BE THAT MOTHER FUCKING HAIRY
*Took a normal a pig, a normal ass fucking pig, AND GAVE IT TUSKS AND PISSED IT OFF SO SEVERELY IT BEGAN TO MAUL EVERYTHING
*Took the seal, glued a mustache, then began to cram doughnuts down it's throat, the shoved elephant tusks into its mouth, creating the walrus
*Used a shrink ray on a fucking dog, then FED IT SO MANY FUCKING HOT-DOGS IT BECAME ONE.
*Gave ants sawdust covered crack, and now e have termites that hunt more of this crack, but instead went into beak lion shit-pissed trees
If you think this beaky bitchy bastard stopped at animal kingdom, holy fucking Jesus Christ on a taco being eaten by god himself, i got news for you, this beaky bombing husky hunky beak lion went to the FUCKING PLANTS! The plants suffering continues as follows.
*Tumbleweeds, they just stole the fucking roots, NOW THEY ARE GOD DAMN LOST AND CAN'T FIND CANADA FOR FUCKS SAKE
*Grapefruits, i don't know what the fucking hell they did, BUT I SWEAR TO THE GOD THAT SHOVED JESUS CHRIST INTO AN OVEN AND CALLED HIM A JEW, they had something to do about these mysterious grapefruits, i don't trust them.
*They committed a ritual to summon poison ivy from the depths of hell, even God himself began to shit his diaper when this was occuring.
*They crammed a whole bunch of fucking bees inside trees, which soon they oozed out sap because there was so many fucking bees in these god damn trees, FUCK YOU STEALTH MODE BEAK LIONS!
*They used their own shit to put bark on the trees, they used to be smooth god damn it, BUT NOW THEY ARE RIDDLED WITH BEAK LION SHIT-PISS
*Because they pissed on the trees now the mushrooms are now FUCKING THE GOD DAMN TREES WITH THEIR STEMMY DICKS
*Pine trees, they stole the god damn leaves from a fucking tree, and put salamanders inside, now pine trees only have these ERECT ELONGATED BRISTLES FOR ANAL PENETRATION
AUSTRALIAN WARNING: Beak lions have a second form, it can turn into a fucking monster turd that can be launched ONLY at Australia, and will cover the entire continent in literal SHIT. From the Police officer that had to deal with it first hand, he said "We don't appreciate having flying giant ass turds dropped on our continent, so fuck off you beaky bitch."
Going to a previous statement about beak lion diseases, if your dumb dumb mother fucking ass decides to find a way to wear beak lion skinned clothing, you are more autistic than the fucking beak lions themselves will have the fucking disease Beakskolionosis, the symptoms are the following.
*obtaining a low velocity yellow-purple asshole rash
*Having a god damn erectile dysfunction that will cause your dick to inflate until combustion
*Every day, you will have a continuous stream of diarrhea shits for 2 hours at a time
*Vomit mother fucking owls for five minutes every night as thirty seconds at 2:23 in the morning
*A random ass beak lion will be mailed to your house, electrocute your ass, set it'self on fire, and run while burning to death into your house by any means possible, and setting your house on fire
*At some point in time you will have rabies and will foam at the mouth and have nonstop seizures
I swear to the lord above if anybody else fucking eats beak lions beside the three autistic fucks that conceived STD'S from them (which we will speak of later on) I will jump off the nearest hill onto a train, and leave this fucking country. If you every thought eating beak lions was a good idea, go kill yourself, please, because Beakmilitosius is the god damn disease you get from those shitty ass smelling beaky bois. If our dumb-asses can persuade you not to consume beak lions, it is because...
*Your god damn blood will turn yellow
*Your god damn teeth will say "FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT" and jump out of your damn mouth
*Your hair will immediately foll off and you will be known as BALDY MCBALDY ASS
*You will have Tumors on your god damn ass, so you have an ass on your ass
As I said Previously, there are beak lion STD's and we have dumb pieces of donkey shit going out and fucking beak lions. So what I need to do is list the fucking STD's of these god damn beak lions.
===BEAK LION AIDS===
(BLA) is Aids, but beak lion form. Beak Lion aids can be given in multiple fucking ways, and they are the following.
*Simply fucking a beak lion that has aids
*having blood from a beak lion that has aids injected ONLY IN YOUR ASS CHEEKS!!
*Get anally penetrated by a beak lion that has aids
*Being beaten by a wooden pole by and beak lion
*having a beak lion devour you whole and shit you out
*challenging it to a pissing contest in France
*Being vomited on in Russia by a beak lion with Scoliosis
*By digesting a beak lion omelet with a side of burnt salamanders with infused jew ashes
If your digity dumb ass faggot ass autistic ass did either of the following option, i swear to god i would rather be a jew in World War Two, black people till 1950s, and a god damn tower on 9/11, while being attacked by herpes infested dragon dicks. Symptoms are the following
*Your entire god damn mother fucking right arm will just foll of, no blood, no shit, just pops off for not god damn reason, EXCEPT YOU FUCKED A BEAK LION
*Every pigeon in 5 god damn miles of your BLA infested ass will constantly hunt you down, and have constant diarrhea shit pour out of their ass.
*Have an epileptic seizure every month on the 12th day only at 3:32 p.m. and 20.329745639875623478 seconds.
*Hitler will be resurrected, will come to your house every night, and leave a package of donkey piss
*Parsons will come to your house with 32 salamanders while playing Friday by Rebecca Black
*A boar will randomly show up toy our doorstep, set itself on fire, shit in its own mouth, and run into your house, and burn your house down.
*YOU CAN'T EAT BACON YOU AUTISTIC SHIT ANYMORE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE (death would be a preferable option)
===Beak Lion Gonorrhea===
(BLG) is where you have Beak Lion Gonorrhea for 25 years, 5 moths, 23 days, 3 hours, 27.32322324425 minutes, and 46.764584638795923478 seconds and 65.23756328754287653 milliseconds, if you....
*Fuck a beak lion
*get fucked by a beak lion
*become a jew
*lick a beak lion
*eat a beak lion
*date a beak lion
*stare at a beak lion
*exist around a beak lion
*french kiss a beak lion
The god damn symptoms of you obtaining this shit, is the following.
*Constant diarrhea shit
*spontaneous human combustion
*you turn into a fucking well for 2 minutes and 34.87365879341625 seconds
*You will be forced to attend high school once again, but everyone there is purple, green, and turned inside out.
*Loose all sense of smell
*Piss out your own vomit uncontrollably only on Tuesdays
*Be mercilessly beaten by trash bags
One note i want to put to this STD is that you can get it again, it doesn't stop at the one time, so if you do get Beak Lion Gonorrhea, don't get it again, dumb ass.
===Beak Lion Mycoplasma Genitalium===
(BLMG) is one of the worst version of the beak lion std group, it is highly recommended by every non-dumb ass around the world to tell autistic fucks like yourself to not..
*FUCK A BEAK LION AT 9 A.M.
*Consume a beak lion pelvis
*Give beak lions wings for fucks sake
*Command a battalion of beak lions into Britain, and give beak lions tea from London
*GIVE A BEAK LION A GOD DAMN FUCKING PURPLE POLKA-DOTTED TANK OF ANY KIND
*snorting powdered beak lion through the ass-old
*Feed the damn beak lion a fucking bean burrito from taco bell
*Eating anything made from a beak lions, they jizz in their food
*Being in a 20 foot radius of a god damn homosexual beak lion
If you do any of the god damn following, i am leaving and bombing Australia for fucks sake. The god forbidden symptoms goes as follows:
*A raccoon will go to your house every Tuesday morning at 5:30, screech for 2 minutes, shit for 20 minutes constantly non stop, eat that shit for 8 minutes, then at 6 a.m. it sets itself on fire and jumps into your car and burns it.
*Your left eye just fucking leaves
*Your feet will begin to glow blue, and 2 weeks later, they will detach and run away, then you will be left with stubs.
*YOU WILL IRRATIONALLY FUCKING DESPISE PANDAS
*your right ear can be used as a pencil sharpener
*YOU WILL BE RECREATED FROM RADIOACTIVE WASTE
*The only gun you are able to own is the kolibri, and if you try and grab anything else, the gun will set itself on fire, and summon salamanders to beat the shit out you
*A vagina-head being will piss on you for one minute
*a man will run out of a bush and charge you with a live grenade
*a random ass plane will crash into you going backwards, but not explode, but spaz violently until it throws itself into space
==Beak Lions (1600 - 1700)==
Beak Lions only because more autistic as time fucking went by. It seems that the devolve instead of fucking evolving like the rest of us.At this point in time all they never served a fucking purpose. They are just useless pieces of cum-dumpster shit that was left by a god damn Russian badger. In this time period, they did so much damn shit that if you thought this would be short, those fucking beak lions would think YOUR fucking autistic, and would send raccoons to crawl up your ass and nest their children there
===Beak Lions (1600 - 1610)===
In the fucking span of ten god damn years they do the dumbest shit for fucks sake that make you think that Katy Perry would fuck one of those things. The god damn bullshit they have done in only 10 fucking god damn mother fucking bitch ass faggot ass years goes as follows.
*Gave the population of France and only France god damn rabies
*Invaded Russia using god damn rust sporks, and fucking won
*Repealed a Russian revolt by using only a standard ass 2 by 4 from the floating Home Depot
*One beak lion self destructed inside that floating Home Depot
*Molested Polish men with their fucking tails
*Shit all over North American rivers
===Beak Lions (1610-1620)===
*Duct taped their shit onto the door-step of African people
*Mauled the living hell out of the dragons
*Devoured normal lions whole while spraying diarrhea fecal matter all over the place
*Cut their own dicks off and used them as grenades
*Ones with vaginas used this thing called SUPER OMEGA ACID CHALLENGE PISSING
*They set themselves on fire then barged into peoples house, while inside, they began to defecate themselves until death (this happened often until they went into stealth mode)
*Dragged Jesus out of heaven so they could beat the living shit out of 60% of Japan's population
*Went to heaven themselves and mauled God himself, but God used his might fist to anally penetrate those beaky bastards and then split them in half (that's the last time beak lions fought god)
*Forgot how to breed for a while and used their tails to anally penetrate themselves
===Beak Lions (1620-1700)===
*Used balloons to send Chinese women into space by inflating the balloon in their ass
*Give Pancreatic Cancer to ONLY British men
*Drank Reindeer piss randomly for no god damn reason
*took the land of Poland and smashed it repeatedly on France
*They created the Cock Bell, it rings but instead of ding it goes COOOOOOOOOCK....COOOOOOOOOOCK
*ripped the balls off of male beak lions for 3 years by using their mouth if the male beak lion began to piss in its own mouth
*30% of the population developed mesothelioma and would spread it by pissing into a bag and forcing anything to drink their bagged piss
*THEY SWAM ONTO BOATS AND PISSED ON THE CAPTAIN, THEN LEAVE AFTER LEAVING CORN MIXED DIARRHEA IN THE BOTTOM OF THE BOAT
*beak lion in Italy were used in muskets, they just used compressed musket balls, and when it impacts a target, the fucking beak lion will be on fire, mauling the hell out of your god damn soul, and shoving trees, WHOLE ASS TREES, down your fucking throat.
*While hiding in trees, it fucking sprays it's diarrhea ass all over you, and will chance you backwards constantly shitting, there is no escape of the DIARRHEA SHITTING BEAK LION
==Beak Lions (1700 - 1800)==
In this timeline, they actually took part in a very import of American history, THE FIGHT FOR NAZISM! Being serious, the revolutionary war was the United States of Americas war for freedom from Great Britain. What they don't tell you in the history books that beak lions played a part, in annoying the fucking out of every god damn solider, and the people that shot them, received different typed of hell. The beak lion bull-shit actions, that i believe would make you prefer wanting to fuck a boar, goes as follows
*It will precede to maul the living Jesus out of your soul and turn to Nazism (not sponsored.....maybe)
*It will make you explode from inflating you with mouth-to-mouth vomit
*SUMMON A FUCKING ARTILLERY GUN AND SHIT YOU WITH IT LIKE A RIFLE POINT BLANK
*Steal your gun and chase you with it for 1 minute and 32 seconds, then shoot you wherever it pleases
*Grab the closest tree and proceed to mercilessly beat you with that exact tree
*Piss in its mouth
*Pick you up, and carry you to a volcano and drop you in the volcano
*FORCE YOU TO ATTEND CHURCH
*Give you a live vasectomy
*Set itself on fire and then flop on your body and will refuse to fucking move
===Beak Lions (1700 - 1774)===
Before the revolutionary war, they have achieved some autistic bullshit that you would rather bleach your fucking dick 50 times than read any of this, but your doing both, because fuck you
*They declared war on the fucking trees, and began to uproot every tree in sight, but the trees became god damn sentient and because to beat the ever living shit out of the beak lions until surrender
*Went on British ships and capsized those ships using only the weight of other fucking beak lions
*For a period of time, started the act of cannibalism, only using fire
*had the ability to shoot flames, but only out of it's god damn ass
*There was an epidemic of rainbow piss
*In Germany, beak lions started a new act of anal virginity theft
*last, but hella fucking not least, GENITAL DELETION FROM BEAK LIONS CHEWING THE SHIT OUT OF A MALE BEAK LIONS TESTICLES
*GAVE EVERYONE IN JAPAN THE CORONA VIRUS
===Beak Lions (1775 - 1783)(American Revolutionary War)===
*They stole the British rifles and kept fucking deapthroating those rifles, or just flat out fucking eating them ONLY FOR BREAKFAST
*Replaced every fucking canon, with a god damn raccoon. Reasoning for this is because they wanted stop fucking trees, so they just stole all the fucking cannons
*They flipped every fucking raccoon upside down, and even the forts, THE FORTS WEREN'T EVEN SPARED
*Wrote plans to bomb Australia, and grave them to Britain, but unfortunately, they don't know how to read beak lion, but the messages kept coming ONLY ON TUESDAY
*Replaced all the fucking bayonets with butter knifes, because they needed those for dick amputation, then proceeded to use those cut off dicks at 2:32 in the fucking morning
*Gave text-books to the British, but set those books on fire while shipping
*Stole an island of Hawaii, and threw it at the Americans, but they FUCKING MISSED, and hit the god damn BRITISH, because they forgot THEIR FUCKING GLASSES
*Stole shit ton of snow to Pennsylvania, but it fucking melted and flooded the British all the way back to Virginia
*They was going to steal all the frogs and send them to Alabama, but made a fucking WOOPSIE POOPSIE, but instead there are 2,000 BEAVERS IN BRITAIN GOD DAMN IT
*Invaded London, and stole all the bagels, EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM, then used them and cock and ball torture devises and BALL RINGS
*Took exactly 42 1/2 flamingos, set them on fire, sent them into stealth mode, and threw them on Gettysburg, and some beak lions wielded them like bats and beat the shit out of ONLY THE GOD DAMN TREES
*On bunker hill, they replaced some of the musket balls with testicles from other animals
*slept in the middle of the battlefield, where both sides had to wait 2 weeks to begin fighting again
*STOLE BELGIUM AND THREW IN ON NORTH CAROLINA
*Whenever anyone tried to ride them, they would set themselves on fire and chase the rider until it (the beak lion) explodes
*REMOVED THE EXIT SIGN, NOW EVERYONE IS LOST
===Beak Lion Summary (Revolutionary War)===
Your not getting a summary, so go fuck yourselves all the way to France and get raped by the spy from Team Fortress 2 that has aids, THEN get injected with the corona virus, AND get mauled by a beak lion colony, AAAAANNNNDDD get your ass beat by boars and frogs, MOTHER FUCKING AAANNNNDD, get dragged into hell by the frogs, AND GET KILLED BY A RUSTY ASS FAGGOT ASS JEWISH ASS HITLER ASS STALIN ASS SISSY ASS MOLDY ASS MUSKET BEING FIRED THROUGH A MANS ASS-HOLE!!!
==Beak lions 1800 - (stealth mode until American Civil War)==
Here we go with the mentally retarted beak lions going into stealth mode again, where a huge ass fucking event occurs and they shit themselves hard enough ti become fucking invisible, people have gotten so sick and fucking tired of these beaky bitches turning invisible, so their 3 extra chrosomed asses formed a cult to figure out how the bloody hell they are going to kill these retarted fucks. After multiple failures they found one strategy that ended up working. You might be curious on how badly did this cult fuck up? I will gladly answer is it a nice small sentence. They secretly caused the american civil war, killed over two and a half million people, burned over five hundred thousand acres of land PER DAY. and shot up eight hundred towns, killing over half their population, AND MORE! This cult had to become the fucking beak lions to know how to locate them in their beakiness, also learning how to fucking jump between time, that too. Good news they only did that for modern equipment that is meant to hunt the stealthed beaked pedophiles. Nevermind, I fucking lied, they cause Chernobyl to fucking explode by spraying it down with a secret diahrea explosive mix using a bean burrito taco, gasoline, and and entire nuclear missile. I understand that you little pea brain needs a list of situations on how this dumb ass fucking cult has caused as many attrocities as it already has, shall we begin?
*Stole French Bread and mauled over 50 Mexicans
*Forced about 25% of the british population to go on a diet of hore cocks, Asains, and lesbian squids
*Stared at Thomas Jefferson for over 48 hours every month and randomly recites a random bible verse translated into Chinese
*forced Africans to defficate mother fucking Seals constantly at a velocity of fucking Mak 2 for 2 minutes on a random ass Friday
*gave paper cuts to beavers and then kicking them into a beehive
*threw squids into people homes after cramming them with over 20 sticks of dynamite per squid
*had all of VIrginia shit in their bed for a solid week and then threw tiger sharks into their house after cramming legs into their fucking sides
*forced dildos into slave owners that said the word "Cock"
*turning dogs into fragmentation grenades
*used cats as an interrogation tool against the Africans
*Threw mother fucking owls at government officials when they got into a fucking argument
*Used a really retarted beak lions to summon the 134th Jesus Christ then set the beak lion on fire, nailed the jesus christ onto a random ass boat, cramed 500 sticks of dynamite into the beak lion, and then shoved it into the bottom of the boat, causing a mass amount of pain and death
That's just some of the random shit they did attempting to fucking figure out how to locate these stealthed mother fuckers. Then they finally figured it out, after all those fucking attempts and failed abortions later, they finally have it.
===Locating a Stealth Mode Beak Lion===
I haven't explained how we follow these beaky bois when they go into fucking stealth mode. I was waiting for you to stop eating your fucking cheatos for fucking once and listen for fucking once because we already had god flood the fucking earth because of these beaky bois. you will need the following tools to assist in your search of the stealthed bois
*a bear trap
*a taco from your local taco bell
*20 squeaky otters
*a binder
*a toxic call of duty player
*Satan's butler
*295th Jesus Christ
*a wooden cross
*a nail gun
*60 atomic bombs
*spasmatic owls
*20 Jewish Mexicans that worked at a Sears
*a Walmart purchased laptop
With those ingredients all gathered you will have to do everything in a special order or they will summon over 20 thousand pissy frogs from the depths of hell to maul your ass down there for their meals, so follow these instructions as precisely as possible, don't be a fucking dumbass for once in your taco bell minimum wage earning looking ass.
#set the bear trap and lay the taco gently on the trap
#have Satan's butler place the spasmatic owls in a fancy position
#get the Walmart laptop and go into incognito mode and search "ticky tacky birb collection"
#in preparation, take the 295th Jesus Christ and use the nail gun to nail him to the cross
#When the stealth mode beak lion uncovers for the meal, distract him with the 20 squeaking otters
#while distracted have the cod player 360 no scope his beaky ass stunning him
#While stunned, beat the living fuck out of the Beak Lion with the wooden cross with the 295th Jesus Christ on it
#force feed the Beak lion 60 atomic bombs
#When it attempts to wake up, beat it with a binder until unconscious, and only a fucking binder
#use the Jewish Mexicans to load it on the back of a truck, and haul its ass to your local Lows to paint it
Now you know how to reveal a beak lion to the world, go find one and repeat the ritual, and hopefully it won't send you to the pits of hell, and meet Satan himself, even though you stole his butler, you asshole.
====MORE GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING CREATURES OF HELL====
We already know the most common shit the beak lions we're able to spawn from their assholes, but little did we know , they discovered a new way to create abominations of mankind to torment the earth until the fucking civil war, It's not alot, but the sheer terror they are able to inflict with only 3 new creations, is nothing short of a fucking mennace to society, so to keep everything fucking brief before we send all of your loved ones to the sacrifising chamber, you must be informed why they are becoming illegal mexicans for the islamic trains. 
=====Rainbow Herpies=====
Instead of making another creature, they decided to make fucking diseases, it's not new that they are making diseases, but these diseases make the kung-flu look like a simple ass disease, so now we inform you that rainbow herpies are so fucking confusing that you wish you would just normaly die. So, how does a singular dumbass obtain rainbow herpies, well let me explain to you how this happens to mentally incapacitated fucks like yourself obtain rainbow herpies.
*be gay while having herpies
*inform your local mailbox about your current cars extended warrenty
*invade iraq
*fly a ju-87 in reverse
*speedrun lawn purge
*watch a mirror for 3 hours reciting the german anthem
*give a lecture about purple hippos
While being very specific on how to obtain rainbow herpies, it only gets more retarted as we continue, because the side effects for obtaining rainbow herpies is nothing but a confusing mess of bullshit waiting to burn at the side of a highway, so as we go down the list of side effects of rainbow herpies, take note that none of this will result in your death, but very confusion actions that will span over 3 years with no cure, and will fade out as soon as it arrived, it makes you do the following...
*invade people's homes and steal only bread
*inform all french people about their income tax return polocy
*drive in reverse at 50 miles an hour only in the state of alabama
*invade poland with a stick, but will never make it to the border due to eating taco bell the day before
*consult the bible for political advice in canada
*inform your neighbor about illegal mexicans invading zoos to steal only monkeys
*become racist for 2 seconds just to scream "Taco Machine Gun 1986 edition"
It might not seem much, but these effects are permenent for 3 years, so prepare your anus for some idiotic bullshit
==Beak Lions and the Civil War Contribution==
Yes, their self deficating asses we're in stealth mode, but they couldn't fucking help themselves when it came to the American Civil War, oh my fucking god the almalgamations of fucking piss were ready to maul everything within fucking range of their beaky ass within seconds, along with their creatures of fucking hell. We we're all tought in schools the high death count was from lack of proper medical treatment, but that's a bigger lie than a fucking politition could tell you traight to your fucking face. 45.5% of those deaths was beak lions fucking raiding the medical camps and commiting multitle of attrocities, that include, but not limmited to...
#Mauling them
#shitting on them
#pissing on them
#giving them aids, but they die instantly
#vomiting acid into their ass
#furiously shitting in their mouth until combustion
#throw them into fucking orbit
#cram mother fucking owls down their throats for 20 minutes and let them choke
#challenge them to a game of thumb war, but insteads slams a nuclear warhead containing purple hedgehogs, with raibies
#sprays the entire tent with a special shit containing acid, mustard gas, gay flags, and mesotheolioma patients
#preform arial acrobatics while pissing, vomiting, and shitting all over the place within a 50 mile radius
#transforming the nurses into fucking aggresive shit eating bears that vomit fucking beavers.
The beak lions have commited so many fucking attrocities that if you fucking believed that the medical camps, your fucking ass is dumber than fucking Cardi b, Justin Beiber, and Jake Paul. Fucking hell, if we put all of them in a room with you, they would look like fucking steven hauking compared to your fucking dumbass. They attacked the fucking ground, trees, water, and anything that mother fucking moves one god damn inch, and they get fucking creative when it comes to assaulting people, so how about i take your retarted ass down a trip of every known battle of the civil war, and we understand how the beak lions helped the fucking union win half way through the war, but beforehand they started fucking the union in the ass with a rubber pink dildo, while assaulting the homeless people. Friendly tip for this adventure, these beaky bitches didn't attack every battle of the fucking war, just most of them, they are very picky on what to attack, do we know what their standards are for what needs to be killed by a jewish hippo, not in the slightest, we would need 500 mexican hitlers, and we don't even have one because their ass ran to the cost of Madagascar, IN REVERSE!
===Fort Sumter===
Jesus fucking christ when those autism machine gun turrent firing pills filled with aids looking ass bitch beak lions heard the first cannon fire, you would have thought it was a pissy frog, well no, not at first, it wasn't a pissy frog, it was a beak lion summoning pissy frogs to maul them to absolute fucking shit out of their soul, shove it up their ass, and force them to have gay sex with the opposing side, resorting in one of them fucking a monkey, and now you know where AIDS came from. I know you want a fucking list of all the shit the beak lions forced on the people in the fort, so lets arm the terrets machine gun and get blastin.
#Took 15% of the Union soilders and shoved them into a freight train and yeeted that fucking train all the way to the fucking sun in 1.4 seconds
#took a confederate ship and the bea the fucking fort until purple mexican hippos played a cardi B cassette tape, then the beak lion self destructed with the force of an exploding whale, called you mom.
#put a french man on a cannon, which cause that one cannon to grow an engine, and go in reverse at mac fucking jesus
#had a beaver rape a confederate captain, leading to his sucicide by blowing his ass out with a fucking cannon ball.
#tought dogs how to use sword, but when they got to the fort, died of fucking aids because that man the fucking the monkey, fucked the dogs.
#BIRTHED A FUCKING AND USED IT AS FUCKING AMMUNITION
#gave the union soilderds fucking owl depression, whenever they see an owl, they get sad and kill themselves by a purple dildo in the shape of a taco
#shit insidethe forstttts ammo reserve which gave everyone almost immediattttte radiation poisoning.
#KAMAKAZEE BEAVERS
===First Bull Run===
I swear to fucking god they couldn't keep their beaky ass out the war when it first fucking began, they just started with their bullshit, and first off, the bullshit was random amungst the sides. Everyone recieved equal bullshit, so the beak lions committed the following acts of fucking terror:
#grabbed a fucking bear and threw it at the confederates at mach 2 speeds
#replaced all the union's bread with vagina bread
#pissed on both the generals
#half way through the battle, stole 100 muskets from each side
#robbed the union of their muskets and hats, then shaved all of them bald
#grabbed 20 confederates by the throat then threw their sorry fucking ass into god damn orbit
#crammed a boar into a union soilders throat then kicked him into fucking japan
#took half of spain and slammed it on the union soilders, then blew it up with a megaton nuclear bomb, but instead of radiation they god raindeer piss
#killed 20% of the confederated by beating them with the corpse of George Washington, then rammed the corpse up the ass of a random person, threw them to Canada, and drowned them with syrup, with the special treatment of being burnt alive in a cauldron
===Second Bull Run===
Apparently both the Union and the Confederates are gay as hell because after the ass beating they got before, they want more. They started the same mother fucking battle, and this is where the beak lion begin to favorite the confederates for a short period of time and bullied the north to absolute fucking hell, which follows as:
#throwing the fucking union's general 100 mile north
#filled 50% of their musskets with screaming boars
#filled the union camps with fucking deer with the bad case of contant flying diahrea, with a side of a drug addicted horse
#at the start of the battle, they threw a random fucking tree at mach damn it
#shit into the mouth of a random soilder
#teleported a confederate into a fucking strip club full of mexicans
#grabbed the union general again when he reterned, and threw his fucking ass 500 miles straight up, then threw his ass into fucking northern virginia
==Beak Lion Board Games (never ending)==
After going into stealth mode, they came up with a great idea to do while in bloody stealth mode. I think it involves rape or anal dancing, but not no it doesn't. They made a whole mother fucking dimension made off of Dungeon and dragons, this shouldn't exist, but look upon the sky and tell the god you believe in what the fuck was he thinking making this, because this isn't any normal ass board game, it takes Dungeons & Dragons and takes a fucking tanker load of autism, pesticides, and ground up Australian kangaroos to make such an abomination. Who are the dumbasses that played this damn game, and how did they do it, your neckbeard looking ass eating Cheetos breaking the chair each time you sit while being Australian must be asking. Well let me introduce these people, again, because I'm too fucking lazy to do JACK, why? Cuz your Mom gay and your Dad less, unless they aren't ,then your gay.
===Combatants of the Beak Lions===
Only a handful of people posses the essential thought process to even step in front of these damn beaky bastards. It takes so much autistic Energy just the combat these abortion clinics, not even talking about defeating these beaky bois. Some of them have already been listed, or is going to be listed, Just because their autism levels along with character would make a pig turn into an Islamic boat and fly to mars. Let's begin with the ring leader of the autism train, shall we bitchy bois
====David Kockingbirb Possum====
This boi has created cancer, fought cancer, created Jesus K bullets, but we are not here for that horrific shit, we are here for the fact this man can kill things just by screeching it to hell, but what did he send to hell just by screaming like a fucking dragon using a machine gun as a fucking dildo, well you see my fellow uneducated birds that shit on themselves, lemme inform you.
He has screamed professionally on the following,
*cars
*tacos
*moon walking pedophiles
*Asians
*ignited wombats
*abortion clinics that used acid and reindeer piss
*inverted birds
*helicopters
*islands
*people who think beating up chickens with a rusted spork is a fucking sport
Listen here buddy we ain't done with this white girl seeing a spider screeching looking ass yet my fellow autistic bois. We need to mention HOW THEY DO THE RITUALISTIC SCREECHES! Yay, this will be a mother fucking list so prepare you insides because it's about to get a fragmentation grenade yeeted in there.
#He recites the fucking bible in under a fucking second
#Crouches into a fucking upside down Y pose
#dumps gasoline on himself
#proceeds to fucking screech his head all the way off, back on, while setting himself on fire and tackling the mother fucking thing
#While in hell, he fills their insides with shit, tapes all holes shut.
#Has Satan fill all holes up, and turns it into a fucking child
#Forces it to learn how to swim in demon piss
#Ends it with a pile of horny ass boars
That's about it for this guy, all he really does to threaten the fucking beak lions is scream at them and follow the fucking ritual, so this makes him a fucking Nazi to the Jewish beak lions....I wonder if they are Jewish? I digress, we need the next fucker to hurry their ass up and stop procrastinating like the little console whore they really are.
====The Fucking Antichrist====
I'm sorry to disappoint you all but it's not Satan giving the beak lions a piece of his mind, honestly, he doesn't give a flying fuck. It's your local Target brand of Satan. In the normal world he is an annoying anorexic bitch boi that needs shot 20 fucking times just to get his retarded attention, but because he rejects reality to substitute his own, he was able to become one of the most threatening things to the beak lions, because while in the dimension for only 3 hours he has commited the following atrocities to beak lions kind.
*Shit on a car and left a sticky note saying "lawl sorry, not"
*CTRL+ALT+DELETED the damn prostitutes to the horny jail for "reciational activities"
*busted a beak lions balls with one massive kick
*had a screaming contest with a beak lion
*dragged 68 Jews into the beak lion's torcher chamber (THEY WONT STOP SELLING SNAKE OILS)
*punched a bird into the next 500 dimensions before returning to their current dimension
*gave the death stare to a rock, giving it life, and caused it to kill itself
*stole all the apples from the pissy frogs
*converted all Picockachocks to be gay
He has committed more atrocities, but he has also learned the beak lion stealth mode so he can go go gadget himself into a stealth mode and caused more hells than we can count. To help you understand such an atrocity, I will list his abilities so you can realize if you encounter him you know how screwed you are, his law breaking abilities goes as follows
*Summon an infinite amount of Jews
*stealth mode
*power punching
*death stares
*converting everything to gay
*giving ball busting entertainment
*dimension hopping
*infinite shit
*Thefting everything
His only damn weakness is his sheer fucking laziness. World is ending, nah, that's yall's problem, and what's that, are you being mauled by a boar and about to die, woops , I forgot my fucks back at home. There is only one rule, don't shit on his lunch, or your fucked. Our next boi is so god damn cancerous he forced himself into this game via default dancing, raging, and mental breakdowns over a leaf falling in august.
====SpiritWolf the failure of failing====
If you thought Joseph Stalin had the mental capacity to deal with all traitors to the soviet union, guess what shit for brains i got some news for your failure of an ass, there is only one thing that cbt loving psychopath has in his box of terror, SpiritWolf, the most retarted fucking failure we have had the displeasure of meeting. SpiritWolf is all of the following
*Furry
*Gay
*Retarted
*Failure
*Failure again
*Porn addict
*Jew Lover
*Inventor of the Ass_Fucker_9000
*Ur mom
*Invades discord servers
*forgets about the almighty [ I MA G E - S E A R C H I N G ]
If he is such a piece of shit that should have been aborted when the devils of multiple universes converged into a massive ass orgy and fucked each other until their untimly demise, why is he in the fucking board games of the fucking beak lions, the almight shit stain of this eath that our diaper shitting leaders haven't told us about yet because they are fucking gay? It's simple, it's because he is so fucking replulsive he makes the beaklions themself commit the not alive. You hear me fucking correct, the creator of multiple creatures, nuking countries with their own shit, is afraid of a porn addicted teenager, now that sounds bad i know, but let me explain what this fucker also has achieved besides fucking himself with his nintento gender-switch
*invaded poland because he didn't get a buy 1 get 1 free discount from starbucks
*shit on a frog and then ate it, with shit intact
*called riskie STRAIGHT!
*called the moon a sun, and when corrected shot up a mental instatution
*became gay for a week for a free meal from the local gay shop, and then burned it
*did ur mom
*saved Logan Paul from the abortion clinic
*attempted to give David Kockingbirb CBT, ended up being attacked by an explosive buttblug followed by nuclear shit
*Said Katy Perry was a compitent human being
With all of these idiocies and mental retartdation, he was soon banished to the shadow realm, but within the shadow realm was a worm hole to this fucking dimension, and follows the squad on their quest, making every second of their life more of a living hell than before.
====XxX_Despair-Girl_XxX====
Simply put, Despair Girl is more than just another Junko clone, it's THE Junko clone. buttfucking all the enemies with the power of her almighty despair sword, when shoved up an ass of an enemy, it forces them to shit, piss, vomit, cum, and bring their blood to a temperature of 69420 degrees Celsius. As you can tell Despair girl is nothing but a living meme generator and dark souls simp, as we mortals like to call it SUMMONING A BUNCH OF FUCKING BOSSES TO BUTT FUCK YOU!!! So lets go through a simple list of abilities Despair girl has to offer
*advanced necromancy
*summoning knifes from fucking nowhere
*using gays as machine guns
*forgetting to turn of the oven
*burning down orphanages
*being trans
*getting bored of existing
*bitch slapping people into the next dimension
*call you gay
*ripping your dick off and only your dick
*creating the one and only ANTI COCK 42069, ripping off their cock, along with all the other organs intact
*default dances for 20 hours
*beating jews with a keyboard
*able to make Jews in 1938 look fat
*TERD ARTILLERY
With all of these abilities, how could the almighty DiSpAir GiRl ever be able to be satisfied with all of her victims, well you see, despair girl fucking killed 48 fucking different dimensions by using ONLY HER SHIT. To make it fucking clear, her death toll is of 500 trillion different dimension, and this dimension is next, unless provided dark souls, cookies, monocoom plush, and ptsd. but you see despair girl will not be tamed, and never has been tame, and if you try to tame the ass fucker herself, these victims will become you.
*forced a man to become gay in 1885
*brough over 10 thousand jews to Poland, in 1938
*shit on a man, covering him with 20 tons of shit when the shitting was complete
*killed a child, then revived it, just to kill it again, for 35 years
*used the power of taco bell to spear the entire continent of Asia in corn infused shit
*activated the AntiCock42069 to remove one of Hitler's balls
*called James Charles gay, then fucked him to death
*beat up Poland with a fucking keyboard for stealing her plushie collection
*became trans just to invade California
*used the resident of California to make machine guns
*default danced on a tomb, the tomb of the unknown cum bender
with all these abilities and bullshit this had the beak lions concerned, even though they have sent her to pedo jail more than one thousand times, this doesn't break her will, because she has what all fear the worst, PLOT ARMOR.
====Autism Weaponizer 42 (AW42)====
This unpredictable sack of shit is what we like to refer to as Autism Weaponizer 42, or AW42 for short. AW42 if to put into simple terms for your summery simping circle jerking asses, this Italian failed abortion ass has too many abilities for a simple retarted sentence, AW42 has too fucking many defining characteristics to be put into a god damn summary you inbreeded supporting Biden humping fucks. So now that i have properly explained the complexity of AW42, let's go back in time to a not-too-distant past called your mom 2004 edition.
=====Your Mom (2004 edition)=====
I know what you fucking god damn basement whales think, it's either the cursed birth of AW42 or a video game. HAHAHA! Retarted mortals, you genuinely believe AW42 and Your Mom 2004 edition is that easily explained when you keep trying to put shit into summaries you fucking jew molesting cock sucking polish supporting Mexican. Your Mom 2004 edition is a whole different fucking dimension, and within that dimension is something the beak lions could never even come close the chaotic nature of this fucking location, and who oversees this dimension is none other than AW42, this dimension was founded on nothing but god damn cringe, cookies, aids, type 42 diabetes, your mom, jews, the almighty loaf, and the power of your gae lmao. This dimension was created as a prison for AW42, reducing his potential to the equivalent of a dnd wizard with nothing but 3 rolls, attempting to fight a piss-a-boar on 30 pounds of meth, while being blue balled by a taco. When i was saying he oversaw the entire dimension as a whole, that's because his abilities have succumbed to pure retardism for his own defense, and this dimension outlives the entire beak lion universe by 51 billion years. That's correct you fucking stupid horny fucks, AW42 outlives the entire fucking universe by 26 billion years. Your predictable fucking question at the moment, is who created this dimension to begin with, and you won't believe me when i say this, but even though the beak lions are outlived in its dimension, but they aren't native to that dimension. The beak lions are native to the dimension we speak of currently, Your Mom 2004 edition, and outlive AW42 by 25 billion years. The reason they now reside in a different dimension is because AW42 gained so much fucking power that it rivaled the beak lions themselves, and in a desperate attempt of retaining their being as a whole, sacrificed their current dimension to pure insanity, reduced his iq by 98% , and placed a limiter to his abilities that make them only 0.5% as effective as before, and increased the power and mindsets of their own creates by 500x their original self. The only catch to these limiters was that it only effected AW42 withing the dimension he resides, and if he ever did escape, it would mean all of the limiters placed on AW42 would not be effective anywhere else. Another catch to these limiters is that they only work in precents, meaning that it doesn't cap on ability strength, intelligence, or even diversity of his weaponry. Meaning AW42 only got stronger and wiser over the course of 42 billion years within that prison, and within that timeline he was able to open a dimensional portal to where the beak lions currently exist. So, to sum it up for all of you retarted fucks that should have been thrown into a lake full of purple Mexican taco demons then shot to death with nothing but an automatic cross machine gun, The beak lions current dimensions age is estimated to be around 69 billion years, with the other dimension being 120 billion years, leaving AW42 to be 95 billion years old. Within the current dimension the beak lions reside in, according to most recent human coom calendar, his teleportation was successful in 1762, so AW42 had an approximate 95 billion years within Your Mom 2004 edition to level up his abilities, and when the dimension transfer was completed, all the limiters we're broken, and he was stronger than anything that could have plagued their current dimension, except for the fact during dimension hopping he slammed his fucking head so hard on a rock he became even dumber that a new born shitting on France. You see, I waisted each of our time to explain in a very long paragraph that AW42 originated from Your Mom and is fucking retarted, get baited bitch.
=====His arrival to the Beak Lion Dimension=====
After successfully sending himself into another dimension and becoming even more retarted than Joe Biden attempting to throw a hand grenade at an orphanage, and instead launches a missile at a homeless shelter. Losing all sense of self, identity, and how to shit, we fallow AW42 in his quest of finding his identity, by joining the American revolutionary war. You heard me right you retarted fuck, AW42's first instinct was to join a god damn boar pissing bird molesting goat throwing revolutionary war, resulting in the following incidents.
*everyone's cousins became gay for 2 hours resorting in a massive orgy
*beat the fuck out of a British mail ship with nothing but a guitar, some string, and a Jew
*used the Italian flag as a lance and road a beak lion into mail delivery service
*called George Washington gay
*applied your mom to the current situation
*used a 1:1 scale of Texas that was the color of the trans flag as battering ram
*YELLOW FRENCH FROGS
*ripped of a British commander's balls off and threw them at a ship with the force of a one-thousand-kilogram bomb
*stole sating out of hell and used him as a mace to combat the 453rd Jesus Christ
*sent Benjamin Franklin to pedo jail on accounts of beating a child with a light post, with no trail
*grabbed an ox and beat the continent of Aasia
*convinced the British that Americans we're only gay, and told them to go into battle with no clothes on
*make the state of Virginia forget how to piss except for looking at a goat
*stole a bird from France and hid it on a British transport ship, therefore pissing off the French
*default danced in the middle of a desert, causing an explosion with a force of a thermonuclear bomb, without the radiation bullshit
After AW42 committed all the stated, he forgot that cannon balls we're deadly, then got fucking ctrl+alt+delete then restarted so fucking hard he was sent to fucking Italy, leading to his next rain of fucking terror and pain, World War 2.
=====World War 2, but it's gay, retarted, and autistic=====
AW42 awakens within Italy at the worst possible fucking time, during the fascist takeover by Benito Mussolini. Jesus christ if AW42 could be any more retarted, we are proved by his horrible timing of breaking out of a concussion from a fucking cannon ball, but that isn't the worst part you stupid fucks. I swear to the 582nd Jesus Christ, I will send you to the 53rd circle of hell to be ass raped by bisexual furniture if you even think for a second, he would do anything that requires a fourth of a fucking braincell. So to be simple, he joins the fucking fascist movement of Italy. You heard that right you beaver molesting fucks, AW42 joined Benito Mussolini. So why would he do such a stupid fucking thing to begin with? Well it's very fucking simple that even a frog could figure it out, cookies, they game AW42 a fucking cookie, and he joined their cause. Now that we are past that, why don't we explain how he even attempted to achieve anything in world war 2, because this becomes super fucking iraqite, so strap yourself in for a fucking ride, because not only did he join Italy, but ended up fucking them over, and then proceeded to cause so much confusion within several fucking years it even make me think that 69th Jesus Christ took a fucking 8 year coffee and piss break, because everything started going to shit as SOON as this mother fucker woke up, so enough of this bullshit exposition, let's get explain on how within 7 years AW42 was able to cause so much confusion and terror it possibly could have ended the world 125 times, and I'm not joking.
======Italy (1922)======
This reject of a bird shit consuming pedophile supporting corpse fucking waste of life tried to take over the Italian government in the 1922nd election against Benito Mussolini, as you retarted ass has figured out by now, in this dimension of pure herpes, this fat tub of guitar molesting lard rejects all of the current stigma of what a man should be, and proceeded to challenge him to multiple political debates, and this is the following events that happened before election day.
*posted an article stating that Mussolini was gay for African children who was starving for only piss boiled bread
*stole half of France and shoved it up fascist supporters until they danced on aids ridden yellow dildo simping chickens
*force fed a bird with type 32 diabetes to Mussolini and forced him to recite the Mexican anthem
*had a staring contest with all of Italy and won
*LAZER PISS
*Holds a press conference to have a rap battle with Mussolini, and won by giving him a stroke due to his horrible singing
*made a diss campaign on Mussolini's objection with plastic boats, while also throwing the R.M.S Titanic on Benito's home and suing him for having a boat on his property unlicensed
*called all political members obese while reciting the American civil war events at 10 thousand words a minute
*for an entire political debate, only responded in "ratio + don't care + ur gae + ur homo + butt plug user + feaht + depressed + mentally unstable + failure of life + piss lover + shit eater + Poland fucker + bee molester"
As any reasonable human being for being a fascist supporter could be, Benito Mussolini dragged his fat depressed ass all the way to Germany, he originally wanted to go to fucking France, but got lost half way there and made it to berlin, and spoiler years down the road he helps with the fascist takeover there, but before he could assist any way possible in the invasion of Poland, he shoved too many carrots up his ass and fucking died. Going back to present time, AW42 successfully takes over Italy with his pure retardism, and with Italy in his grasp, he did what any more autism lord would do, took a massive shit, but that shit went flying, and landed on, you guessed it, the United Kingdom. With such a powerful shit taken, he accumulated a great idea, to take over the entire continent of fucking Europe. Any person with a quarter of a fucking braincell would think this isn't possible, because in our current timeline it never worked. HOHOHOOOO, but you forget this is where the beak lions reign supreme, so of fucking course AW42 will find some cancerous way to either pave the way for someone or something else to take over Europe, or will fucking do it himself. Right after this fucker took office in Itally, his first words we're "I have deemed France Gay, and will pay for thy Gayness" then fucking declared war on france for what he just said, being gay. So we start another chapter in his retardism, by fucking invading france not even 1 week after the damned eleciton.
==Beak lions Creations Against God and The Multiple Jesus Christs==
You thought the beak lions would be the most Jewish cunt out in the west, or east, I DUNT FACKING KNOW YOU FRICKEN CANCER INFUSED FIRE PIT! Your just wrong, okay, your dumb ass is so fucking wrong that even a salamander could score higher on a SAT than you could WITH A 3RD GRADE SPELLING TEST! Now, put down the autism, use your brains, and tell me why the beak lions created so much bull-shit beings, BECAUSE IM HAVING A METAL BREAK-DOWN FROM THIS FAGGOT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!
===Hostile Flying Spinning Coca-Cola Can===
If you think that a normal can of soda that randomly spins is the scariest shit in the world, well your a bitch, BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH WORSE THAT COULD HAPPEN. You better thank your mother fucking lucky stars it wasn't hostile, with the instent on making your life a living hell whenever, because it's a fucking reality, because this can is absolutely pissed and will slaughter anything in its path. Doesn't matter how many main protags and traggic backstories you have, it doesn't give a flying fuck and will be speeding to your ass at the speed of jesus christ on a christler going to egypt to tell them all to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE DESSERT! So enough of my random rambling, even that thats all i do here, I WILL INFORM YOU PESENTS THAT THIS ISN'T THE WORST PART! You heard me right motherfuckers you forgot that this can has the worst ability of all, IT CAN FUCKING BECOME JE[SUS] AND FLY!! If you're not shitting bricks faster than satan at a church than your dumber than highschool dates trying to spin in a circle to become lesbians. No matter the bullshit you try to defend yourself against this HOSTILE!!! FLYING!!! SPINNING!! Boar pissing, scratch the last one, but the rest is true, it will spin itself faster than a turbine engine, fly faster than the Boar Retaruto collapsing into a terreract for the 500th time in a week, and is so fucking hostile Hitler begged for mercy when he came in contact with the scary red can of death. If you're not shitting your fucking pants yet, you will faster than a man eating taco bell for lunch, because you haven't heard of this bitch can's ability sets. THATS RIGHT!!! this fucking spinning can of absolute terror has ABILITIES, OH GOD THE HORRORS IT COULD COMMIT!!! i shall inform you that you will become zenitsu with no redemtion arc, PURE BITCH!!! Now i shall scare you and your dead mother because she died of aids type 4 because she was a prostitute at the age of cancer page of potatoes... i think thats 20, but i'm dumber than a stack of fried chicken. ANYWAYS!!! this can will and shall do the following
*be hostile
*spin
*fly in your general direction
*speak islamic at 10 thousand words a minute
*inform your sister than your pansexual (if no sister, creates you one from satans potasium farm)
*will give you herpies for free of charge, how kind
*calls your tasty, then resorts to self destruction with the force of a thousand killogram bomb, releasing corn infused diahrea shit for 30 miles
*Goes back in time to tell your german great grandfather that he was gay, and forces him to fuck the entire enemy team, changing the coure of history, making all germans, including you, GAAAAAAAY
*teleports you to auschwitz with a bunch of jewish hippos to have a civilized discussion about racism, and then slams into you 2 hours latter with the force of a fucking 2 ton whale
*can slam into the ground with the force of ur mother running into a starbucks on a sunday, then explodes with more force than a fat guy trying to run (aka big boom)
*informs every sentient burrito about it's extended cars warenty, and if refused, forced then to ride a train that has burning cats, dogs, and elaphants, while reciting the ussr anthem at 2 thousand words a minute, while dancing on your mothers grave
*Send you to Pedo Jail for 1 week
*create a diss track about you
*will ask you to sign its patition, and if refused, will dump 100 thousand spanish elaphants that have a bad case of speedy shits in your state, envoking a national emergency of flying shitting spanish elaphants, laying waste to the land below
*spontatius death
*will ask you passive agressivly to go commit yeetacide, and if you say "your fat" the can will immediatly spawn sayori with a poato to dance on your property, invoking a sewer line to explode under every house, then sayori fucking dies, like usual
*Replace all the railways with spiders, then makes them walk the earth into the sun
*Calls upon the Furry Slayer to piss on everyones house, invoking a stampede of random alligators to find all the lays potato chips, pissing off satan to throw a fucking burger king bag at the earth with the velocty of fuck you and everything you love.
===Kik-Birbs===
*It sprays diarrhea shit when threatened
*Summon random legs to kick the fuck out of whatever it desires
*uses it's acid piss to engulf his enemies
*ITS A MOTHER FUCKING WIZARD GOD DAMN IT
*It will steal your pants, and only your pants
*Make nests inside your hat, and try and move them, SUPER LASER ACID PISS ATTACK
*Steal your rifle, only on Wednesday's
*When shot at, it will combine its SUPER LASER ACID PISS ATTACK, lightning, and 25 Jesus Christs, then turn it into shit, and high velocity diarrhea spray your ass along with anything in a 500-foot radius
*SUMMON RAINING BEAK LIONS THAT ARE ENGULFED IN FLAMES GOD FUCKING DAMN IT
The revolutionary war was a tool for the beak lions to make, summon, or even distort more creatures and ideas, they stopped making abominations that even the devil would say no to around the time they resumed stealth mode.
===PISS-A-BOARS===
A piss-a-boar is a beak lion hate infused boar, that has been given hate to whatever the beak lion says it should hate. These are the servant of the beak lions, and whatever the boar is very pissed at, so is a beak lion, so MOTHER FUCKING RUN YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER. It has no mercy, it will maul your ass so god damn hard a jew is looking down saying "Yeah, i got it easy compared to him" The boar doesn't kill you, its fucking everything else. Because the beak lions got so pissed at the battle of Gettysburg, they sent in 2,000 piss-a-boar's. Just imagine just shooting the enemy and see 2,000 MOTHER FUCKING BOAR LOOKING CREATURES RUNNING AT YOU FULL SPEED READY TO MAUL YOUR ASS TO FUCKING HELL, THEN GO TO HELL TO PROCEED TO MAUL YOU EVEN MORE. What pissed them off the worst was..
*the main existence of Manatees
*100th - 146th Jesus Christ
*Hitler's toothbrush
*Joseph Stalin's 31st cigar, ONLY THE 31ST
*humans, just fucking humans
*Calendars
*Construction workers
*Jewish Merchants
*Rainbows
*Hentai
*Apples, and only red apples
*A piss-a-boar pissing on itself
*Taco shells
*The Spanish Inquisition
*The 65,000 year long rave called the machine girl show, and they made everyone overdose 1,000 times a second until they finally collapsed into a tesseract, than ate everyone's ass in the 134th dimension
===The Autism Machines===
The autism is know for sensing any form of autism and has a dedicated fan group for fucks sake. Currently, you can see this abomination of hell and it's fans in a discord server, as i call it, CANCER-CORD. In the revolutionary fucking war, this would drive around for no fucking reason and steal people and dump them into a pit of beak lions and pi-a-boars. I would rather kill myself than deal with this faggotry bullshit. The machine itself looks like a god damn pig and the mystery machine had a fucking love child and removed mystery with autism. In present time, the discord has the following cancerous characters
*Manatee Fucker
*Banana Cock
*Little Hitler
*MOTHER FUCKING OTAKU WEEB ASS HAIR MAN
*Jesus Christ
*Porn Enthusiast
There are many characters, but i don't know them all because i don't do my research, so have a merry Halloween lion.
Autism is the name of the game baby, the reason it is associated with beak lions is because when they came together on 4:35 p.m. in the battle of Gettysburg and preformed the sacred ritual, here comes Satan. After mauling the living hell out of Satan and stealing half his arm, his pelvis, and his left eyeball, outcomes THE AUTISM MACHINE.
===Pissy-frogs===
Pissy-frogs, they are just very chonky big bois that got pissed off for some reason, except there are some catches. As a normal fatty ass frog does, roll around in the piss infused dirt, the beak lion discovered things to severely piss it off, beyond the squeaks. It gets so fucking pissed off that it will STARE INTO YOUR FUCKING SOUL DEMANDING YOUR ATTENTION TO FIXATE ON THE SEVERELY OF IT'S PISSED LEVELS. Other than that, just use its feet to maul you half to death. Main mother fucking question of the paragraph, what atrocious things could a beak lion do to piss a fat boi so god damn bat shit horrible. that leads to sed fat boi becoming the newest serial killer from mauling their way into your stomach and continue to maul your intestines until death? It goes as the following...
*your existence in their territory, fuck off you bitch ass whore
*having a beak lion mailed to their house, and when they open it, their is a fully enclosed beak lion on fire screaming while defecating on itself
*being shitted on for any reason
*BEING BEATEN WITH A PLASTIC CROSS WRAPPED IN GREEN AND PURPLE LIGHTS
*being teased because of its extra meaty extra hunky CHONKYNESS
*watching one of Cardi B's videos, any mother fucking shitty ass video from the cancer breeder herself
*musket balls (which will see more details later on)
*Fortnite dances being acted upon within a 100 meter god damn radius
====Pissy-frogs attack methods====
When pissed, these stupid mother fuckers will make the most bullshitiest things, but yet most feared by men from tales long ago, since all the people that met fate with these frogs were fucking murdered. Anything that pisses off these frogs actually fucking dies, even beak lions fear these mother fuckers for the shit they commit on a daily basis because now they are PERMANENTLY PISSED. There is never a fucking day in those frogs life where they are not fucking pissed off. It can be the sun, the moon, the clouds, the grass, it can even be the fucking air, THEY WILL BE PISSED AT IT. There are only a select few that they actually fucking act upon whatever is pissing them off, which will be spoken of for your dumb ass to understand because i bet your ass won't walk up to a frog and piss it off in different ways to see what it does.
=====Fortnite Dances=====
If by any chance you do a god damn fortnite dance around a thicc boi frog, it will lunge on your face screeching and will summon a mother fucking tank out of god damn nowhere, and will shoot purple horses wrapped in Lady Gaga's outfits ever millisecond exactly until you either wear one of the outfits, die to the fucking horse, or be under 132,425,523 horse corpses. In that situation there are only two options for your dumb dumb lookin' ass , and that is the horses fighting each other so they can eat you, or just lick you to death, yes, THEY WILL LICK YOU TO DEATH.
=====Cardi B's Music Videos=====
If you set one of Cardi's music videos in front of one of these god damn frogs, it will begin to spaz uncontrollably and will grow 6 feet in height and will summon muscles from absolutely fucking nowhere and will summon a cat from god himself and will turn it into a fucking hammer. Cat still being alive, then struck with lightning that will keep circling through the cat, and then set on fire. Then the frog jumps into the air, screaming "Country Tis of Thee" in toads voice, begins to beat the living shit out of the phone with the cat hammer, then will turn it's attention onto you and begin to maul you for exactly 30 seconds after destroying the phone. If your still alive by then, the frog will just shoot lasers through its eyes at you until death is assured.
=====Being Shitted On=====
If you must shit out in the woods, make sure the shit doesn't land on one of these frogs, because hell will be unleashed upon your dumb dumb lookin' ass, figuratively and literally. If by any chance you may have shit on one of these frogs, consequences won't be immediate, because what it does is so bizarre, the beak lions themselves received the treatment because they didn't watch where they took their heavy shits at. This is what happens, the frog becomes so fucking pissed, i will mail itself to your house, in a fucking envelope. How the fuck does nobody look at an envelope and think, "wait, there is this weird thing bulging out of this envelope saying 'A little present just for you.' "? Because the frog went into stealth mode god damn it, so you couldn't see it, IT WAS IN STEALTH MODE FOR FUCKS SAKE! As soon as your ass receives the envelope, it will use its fuckery sense to know your mother fucking greasy ass hands grabbed that fucking envelope. It will proceed to shove its ass out of the envelope, and high velocity fire hose you and your house with diarrhea corn infused shit with gasoline. BUT I'M NOT DONE YET YOU LITTLE SHITS AND NEITHER IS THIS FUCKING FROG! It will then set itself on fire and attach itself to your face, setting you on fire along with everything the diarrhea and gasoline mix spray that fucking landed because you shit on a frog. Good fucking job, now the entire city is on fire because you thought one day it was a good idea to shit upon that god damn frog, and this is why we can't have anything fucking nice.
=====Calling it Fat=====
If you dare say anything negative about the frogs chunkiness, it will forceful drag your ass into hell and will proceed to maul your eyes out of their sockets. Then exactly 1,032 and a half of these damned frogs will begin to assault your stomach, forcing its way in through with random claws because hell has no god damn mother fucking shitty ass Jewish ass logic. If your not already dead. it will kill you will the EXTRA CHUNCKY OMEGA LARGE BEAN BURRITO FROGO DILDO. Standing over 3 feet tall and 2 feet in diameter, then with that fucking thing it will ram it through the ass, and that is a guarantee death for you there, since your insides will be pushed out your mouth then set on fire for their sacred ritual. OH yeah, the ritual, the ritual is where your set on fire on the dildo and they do the sacred chant "nsdafgfifrqghrsuoygfhryfgher8yh8erwhg8h538ge8firg8yghgyhz80h80yh580ah g8hs58hg&*GH8075h80qht8075eh80th8H80t5he80hy8eh87gth8yhiurhgiu" This is the text, but translated by a pet frog, it say "We are chonky, we are chunky, we are also very hunky. You are on a dildo, that's how life flows, It's a fact everyone knows. You mock our chonk, we will give you a bonk, WATCH OUR FUNK." .Simply, you either die from the heat of hell, the mauling of many frogs, or a frog dildo, or their horrible fucking chants that make 6ix9ine a fucking masterpice.
=====Musket Balls=====
They love all balls, except musket balls being fired in a radius of 35.32987 meters exactly of their location. This is more of a unique pissed mood, since it usually only involves only the person who committed the action. Instead, this sends them into such a fucking realm of reality that the level of Jewish ashes in their tiny asshole has put fucking hitler's crusade to shame, as shameful as the god damn polish strip clubns. But they are so fucking pissed off so god damn severely that they fucking go ape-shit on everyone it sees with a Union or Confederate uniform. Step by step this is how it takes action.
#When the musket ball makes impact in the area on one of these frogs, it will begin to screech as load as it possibly can, people 80 miles away claimed they heard this ear piercing shriek in their diaries and journals
#The tone of the screech will begin to get deeper, but still just as loud, and more frogs begins to screech just as fucking load
#their size begins to enlarge to as big as 12 feet in height
#They will run at you full fucking speed and begin you kick everything, at times they will eat whatever is in front instead of beating the ever living shit out of it
#IT WILL SHIT ON YOU
#If not killed, their reign of painful constant screeches will continue, along with their mauling, eating, and shitting.
One frog just began to spaz uncontrollably and begin to dedicate, vomit, and ooze blood and puss for 20 minuets until it died, believes the musket ball hit the frog, but NOBODY FUCKING KNOWS BECAUSE MUSKETS ARE SHIT WITH AIM.
=====having a beak lion mailed to their house=====
We smart people had to watch this happen, because we don't want to have a fucking beak lion std you idiotic shit. Beak lions are known for mailing themselves to placed, but we learned that they don't mail themselves to frogs houses, well at least after that one incident that only affected their entire fucking beaky as town, or whatever they fucking call it. So a beak lion had a great fucking idea, and that was to mail him to a frogs house. Thinking nothing would happen and it would get a good meal from that frog and whatever else was there. Just like the frogs when you shit on them, it goes into stealth mode when entering only an envelope, ONLY A FUCKING ENVELOPE! Just when the fucking beak lion was delivered in the mail box, that fucking dotty ass frog opens the envelope to spot a flattened beak lion. That frog got so god damn pissed it began to furiously shake and begin to have a constant stream of shit, not diarrhea this time. Then it will enlarge rapidly, then do some mitosis looking shit where they just start splitting off, BUT WITH THE EXACT SAME SIZE. There was in total 1,2343,527,243,193 frogs when this shit ended, on land, in the sea, and some even in fucking space. They split off so fast that the beak lions was overwhelmed by all these god damn screeching frogs, so they just fucking died. Don't mail a beak lion to there house, WE DON'T WANT TO CLEAN UP A BILLION FROGS AGAIN GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!!
=====BEING BEATEN WITH A PLASTIC CROSS WRAPPED IN GREEN AND PURPLE LIGHTS=====
WE DON'T NEED PEOPLE REPEATING THIS SHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I swear to the lord above i will beat whoever causes the next frog apocalypse. Every fucking time i believe the human race can't get any stupider, i am proven wrong because they won't stop beating frogs with plastic transparent crosses wrapped in green and purple Christmas lights. I fucking hate you all, go pound sand, and kill yourselves you autistic fucks for causing these abominations of hell to spawn even more horrendous shit.....this needs it's own page just to go into detail about this faggot shit, but i will stop at the cross. There are three things the frogs has done because people won't fucking stop being them with these fucking crosses.
#A bat, a living bat, would summon on your hand and begin to infect you with the corona virus, and then piss in your bloodstream
#it will twerk in your direction constantly farting flames in your direction, it can not be fucking killed at this point, so your either running forever or accept your fate to die by a twerking fire farting frog looking very pissed at you
#The front legs will turn into muscular arms and grab that cross, then fucking scream like a god damn goat set on fire being inflated by a water hose. Then will proceed to beat your ass with that cross, it will beat the ever living fuck out of your soul and will not stop until you die and decompose. Yes, IT WILL MAUL YOU TO DEATH, THEN MAUL YOUR FUCKING CORPSE TO DECOMPOSITION LAND YOU STUPID AUTISTIC DOWN SYNDROME FUCK!
===Picockachock===
WHY THE FUCKING HELL DID OUR SWEET JESUS CHRIST LET THIS ABOMINATION OF SATIN AND JUSTIN BIEBER'S LOVE CHILD FUCKING EXIST ON THIS GOD DAMN EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would rather shoot myself with a fucking kolibri than look at this thing. I would gladly take the closest shotgun, and kill every fucking child of this horrendous thing and then torturer the others. FUCKING HELL, i would rather take myself getting castrated while awake than watch this thing anymore than i already have. Even their fucking creators, the god damn beaky ass fire farting beak lions, run away in fear of what their ritual has summoned. MOST OF THEM JUST FUCKING KILLED THEMSELVES!! They said fuck stealth mode for this shit, they just starter using their beaks to eat their way to their own beating heart, and then bent a certain way so their shit would prevent their heart from beating anymore. I believe that's why Jesus Christ hasn't returned yet, BECAUSE THIS SHIT STILL EXISTS ON THIS FUCKING EARTH GOD MOTHER FUCKING ASS BLEEDING JEW HUNTING...FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
===Mr. Ezel [spawn of Satan]===
Oh sweet fucking Christ what do we have here? Looks like God took a extra chunky shit, got drunk, and made his terrorist looking ass out of his own doodie. God apparently got so drunk that he forgot to finish his damn eyebrows before he fucking died from that shit. What made him so fucking drunk for his holy ass to do that kind of fuckery you might be asking? Well, just only Jesus Christs's piss after freezing it and having it for desert, that's all. His name shouldn't even fucking be Ezel, it should be Fagzel for how much gay energy he exerts on a fucking daily basis. I don't fucking know why, but he has this special place to work at that is literal fucking god damn named "The Jewish Closet of Capitalist Purchases"! If that doesn't scream I am a gay, then apparently you all are fucking gay as well, because only a gay would defend a gay from gay tendencies. It doesn't fucking matter if your piss poor little feeling think that I'm being a "meanie",your faggot ass can take the closest piece of wood, and give your asshole some nice juicy splinters, then get some rust nails and do the same you god damn monkey inflated green communist hippo.
====Is He Hitler?====
Is this mother fucker Hitler? To that question I say he is Hitler, and i have no god damn mother fucking evidence to back that bullshit up, but god damn it i will make it up so damn well you will be saying hello mother fucking Jewish ass Hitler when he is doing his next ritual. Matter of fact my fucking lazy ass will make so many fucking points why his fucking ass is a reincarnated version of god damn Jew ash food preparing Hitler. PREPARE YOUR ANUS FOR FACT RAPE!
====The bedroom====
The bedroom sounds like the place where he would have decided to raped a Jew to your tiny maggot mind, but I as an intellectual know that's not where he rapes Jews, it's in the basement you fucking dumpling, THE BASEMENT! Inside his glorious bedroom is riddled with naked picture of Joseph Stalin, which there are also hate messages wanting him to burn in fucking hell and be mauled by a fucking honey badger with rabies. Inside his glorious bedroom is riddled with naked picture of Joseph Stalin and Benito Mussolini,  which there are also hate messages wanting them to burn in fucking hell and be mauled by a fucking honey badger with rabies, no shit. There are even diary entries that we wished they all could have a threesome in Auschwitz. Among all this horny gay shit, he also has a monkey that loves to thrust it's dick upon the head it is on. Under the bed, there is a latch that you would think would lead to the basement right? Wrong, god damn your fucking dumber than the god damn Jews for cancer's sake, IT LEADS TO THE SECOND BEDROOM YOU AUTISTIC SHIT! now this is where the weird ass bull shit begins to form inside of your asshole and begin to explode spraying it all over the god damn Jews. in this secret bedroom hols the shit sprinkled key to knowing if this motherfucker is god damn Hitler for fucks sake. god damn if this isn't Hitler' I swear to god I will in the name of the 354th Jesus Christ that fuck boys assholes only on god damn Tuesdays walk out of my fucking home and take a shit on a cat. I WILL FUCKING SHIT ON A GOD AN CAT IN THE NAME OF THAT SPECIFIC JESUS!!! there is a body pillow of Joseph Stalin, and it has jizz stains all over it. The horny shit between Stalin and Mussolini is never ending. Full body mannequins, with jizz stains, pictures of them, with jizz stains, and jizz stains, WITH JIZZ STAINS! 
===Surfin Surfer===
Dear god save us now, because here comes the very thing beak lions created that forced them to go into stealth mode. Upon his birth he screeched like a bitch and forced the beak lions to return into stealth mode because his autism levels exceeded the fucking beak lions levels of autism. This fucking faggot over here even decided to take a massive shit on someone's house, WITHOUT INSURANCE, what a chad. But if you actually believed he didn't achieve anything else you have the omega fucking useless cuck's injected in your balls my dude, because this chad out chads all chads, but it wasn't easy. This boi was autistic and was a big fat S I M P from the very get go, but after chad training he has achieve omega chonky thot rejecting shotgun to morph him into the chad he is now. But we shall look at how he began, as an autistic fuck looking for prostitutes in hell, aka, his birth.
====From autistic beginnings====
As your dumb as brain already knows, this man's autism exceeds the beak lions by tenfold, but did you know it wasn't always this way? His screech may have scared the hell out of the beak lions, but i never said their reaction in its fullest. Before the stealth mode, they began to team shit upon his face to shut his fucking ass up, all that did was make him like fortnite, which the beak lions also created, fuck. I often forget to explain the entire birthing process, I didn't want to because I don't feel like it, but I have nothing else to do so shoot my balls off and lets finish this FUCKING SHIT!
=====Birthing=====
A human being birthed from a beak lion, how could this happen, says your mother fucking dumb ass fetus killing Jew burning black enslaving ass. Well let me explain line by line how this shit happened. First of all, a guy fucked a beak lion, with a shovel, laced with his semen. Then we wait 2 years for the sacred ritual to be prepared, if done wrong, the beak lions will begin to shit in their own mouth and die from their own shit. Next is the chant, the chant goes as follows. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Even if one letter is off, they die, if it is mispronounced, they die. That is usually why we don't want people fucking beak lions, and also it COVERS THE LAND IN SHIT FOR FUCKING MILES YOU USELESS FUCKING CUNT ASS QUEER ASS JEWISH ASS GORILLA ASS FUCK! Ahem, next is the default dance ritual, which is very crucial to the birth, because the child needs to dance out of the whom while being beaten by 38 Jesus Christs, and exactly that amount. After this dumpster fire was finished birthing Satan from his asshole, we got surfer, the useless faggot of all faggots.
====His uses====
Every man does something, but what does the radical surfin surfer of the surf do? Let me list the accomplishments motherfucker has accomplished in his pathetic life so far
*Turned all women into lesbians
*Turned all men into beak lion worshipers
*Shit into a beak lions until he exploded from his shit
*used his piss to make a fragmentation grenade
*spread the cult of the fortnite gang through the world
*stole Psychotic penguin's balls and mounted them to the 134th Jesus Christ's face
*default danced on the solder's corpse during funeral
*raged so fucking hard that he turned inside out, sprayed vomit and shit everyone. burned 20% of the jewfish population, and went back to playing F O R T N I T E
*shot a wall
*shot a floor
*shot the sky
*FUCKING MISSED THE ENEMY 1cm AWAY FROM HIS ASS
*built towers that made the population of New York City jealous
*MADE A FUCKING OTTER TANK BRIGADE
*use the beak lions to break everyone's balls while drinking PISS
*put captain obvious in time out
You couldn't tell me that this hunky chucky bitch took a plane on 9/11 and begin to fucking default dance the fucking people to death WHILE the fucking plane is flying to Disney, and in mid fucking flight get distracted and jump out, and me take you fucking seriously. This isn't the 96th Jesus Christ we are talking about you mediocre clarinet playing shit stain.
====Is he Stalin?====
Another question I fucking frequently ask is that IS THIS MOTHERFUCKING BITCH A STALIN? To answer that question we must compare traits and possibly contrast, but contrasting is fucking gay and should have been killed instead of Epstein...wait....forget that. Ignore that dumbassery, we all have a little autistic bastard in all of us, Even the fucking buildings have a lil autism, because they keep falling the fuck down, STAY UP DAMN IT. I'm getting sidetracked, I should be focusing on the fact that Surfer is possibly Stalin and give you poof why correct? Sorry you failed abortion clinic, that ain't happening today, I'm going to annoy the fuck out of you with random generated text with my mind. I'm lying, only an absolute fucking idiot downing a beak lion whole with Colin cancer would ever think of something that damn autistic, now lets look at the facts shall we my autistic Chernobyl rejects?
=====His dungeon=====
This man is absolutely addicted to Stalin's mustache so fucking bad, he has a fucking farm of it in that fucking dungeon. Why the hell would anyone grow mustaches unless you were making a fucking walrus, but the failed abortion beak lion already cucked Noah on the fucking boat so god damn bad, even furries started to exist, and it wasn't as tamed as we know of it today, neither was dictatorships but that isn't my point. My point is why does this mother fucking fortnite crack addicted midget growing fucking Stalin staches in his god damn dungeon, HELL, why does he even have a dungeon. You see kiddies, we got ourselves a rare case of an autism dungeon, they are very rare in the fucking wild.
====His ungodly creations====
Did your ass seriously believe only the beak lions know how to use cult chants and ritualistic shit bombs to create and summon abominations, well your ass is half correct this time because the surfing surfin bastard of the surf cult is half beak lion half human, because of his 24 fucking 7 autism spasms that are never ending. This little shit stain of an abomination birthed from the hells of earth has the fucking ability to summon his own abominations he decided to fucking birth out of fucking nowhere. I'm going to give you 20 mother fucking seconds to get your fucking dumb ass out of the pits of retardation and use that STD infested brain cell of your to fathom how fucking horrible this shit it, but like usual, your not going to fucking know how bad this is, unless I actually tell your retarted ass. So to teach you why you should stay 100 fucking miles away from his ass, let's give you a run down on how he summons these pieces of shit in the fucking first place.
#He resurrects a random fat guy
#Set's him on fire
#Throws the fat guy into a random pit
#Cut a Jew's arm off and force the Jew to shit on itself and leap into the hole
#recite the famous cult line called "BOU*VUHSDB GVHJSBHILVBSHURBVUHSB HUBGIUYRSBIFGUBRSIHGBSIB^*&^&*&*^&*^&**&^SBVJHZBDUGFVEWOUIYRG*&Bvguhksdgfuybdrsauohyvgrd8ybvdrtsgbtdhiubdriu" flawlessly
#Throw a random Fortnite card into the pit
#Pour salt into the pit
#Grab a beak lion by the fucking balls and beat it into the 19th dimension and then throw into the pit while shitting himself
#take 2% of the Japenese population and grind them into a smocked sausage
#Have an African eat the grinded Japanese smocked sausage
#shove the African into the shredder then throw it into the pit
#Default dance on Justin Bieber for 20 days
#SCREAM AT THE FUCKING PIT AND SUMMON WHAT YOU DESIRE
His tiny dumb ass has access to all of the beak lions creatures of hell, along with his fucking own. YES, he has his own retarded demonic satin spawned anti Jesus Christs Dildo wielding creatures that use horses for masturbation. We already know what the other fucking demonic pieces of shit are, but we don't know what retracted ass gay ass mentally handicapped Jew ass owns in his own fucking Armory of herpies.
=====CEO Taco=====
This thing is in control of all kinds of tacos, burritos, sandwiches, soups, and more His power to create any kind of taco beyond what pathetic fucking mortals can create. Ranging from absolutely awful inbredded shit to the best gay boy unicorn type of crap, here is a complete list of what kind of shit he servers because I bet you won't be ordering from his shop, it's all the way to your left, and to see it you have to be trans, gay, even more gay, EVEN GAYER, along with a dildo machine gun.
*Asser Blaster Taco
*Shetter Repeater Burrito
*Jew taco
*Arabic taco
*German taco
*French taco
*Everything taco
*taco of a taco
*taco inside a taco
*bean burrito taco
*bean burrito taco on white bread
*bean burrito taco on white bread deep fried
*Forgetter taco
*Double stuff burrito
*beak lion shit powered burrito
*Pedophile-be-gone taco
*Antifa ham sandwich
*Rice Taco
*Chicken burrito
*cat soft taco soup
*horse cock taco burrito soup mix (his specialty)
*Hitler casserole
*Shit and piss croissan'wich burrito
*monkey gaming burrito
*testicle sauce speghetti
*Be-gone-a-thon speed taco
*beak lion shredded dick cheese taco
*Picockachock legs,piss,sperm soup
*le retarded porn addicted peanut nutter and cum sandwich
You think he just sells this shit? No you pea brained fuck tard that forgot his birthday right after being fucking told what it was, and then assumed everyone around you was horny, or gay, THIS ISN'T FUCKING TEXAS. He also uses these as weapons, yes, fucking weapons. How the bloody hell does a retarded fuck spawn a retarded fuck that also spawns a retarded piece of shit that FIGHTS PEOPLE WITH FUCKING FOOD?! To inform the retards out into he audience, he is called CEO Taco because he beats people up with tacos you forgotten racist fucking whore. This little Jew has commmit the following atrocities
*Caused people to shit themselves constantly until death
*Threw a taco at the French population at mach 5 cause over 25% of the land to become a giant salsa pool
*Taco fisted a horse so many times it became Mexican
*transformed beavers into Spanish rats
*used hard taco shells to kill over 30,000 Japanese cult masters
*caused the Polish population to inflate until combustion
*Farted so God damn fucking hard that all of Europe died from the smell, well fainted, not died
=====Highly Underdeveloped Chicken Killing Swans (Hucks)=====
Hucks is known for causing so much pain to a person, most of his kills are by suicides trying to escape this motherfucker. Just existing around this short, faht, retarted, mentally handicapped stupid ass motherfucker will cause immediate brain damage. As you can tell, these fucking swans hate chickens with a burning fucking passion, that their methods of killing these chickens cause multiple global pandemics over the ages. These god damn swans have burnt down local taco bells, cock blocked Kanye West, and removed your mother's right to vote, because she is classified as a sea mammal, aka a fucking whale. I wouldn't be surprised that just by listening about how these rejects of living stuka bombers claim the lives of casual chicken enjoyers would cause over 20 different medical issues at the same time, including aids, brain aneurism, living failure, and irreversible autism. I also couldn't give a flying fuck about your mental sanity, so I am going to force you to have thirty heart attacks by having you read their common attack methods.
* using 300 Mello Yello cans, aggressively throw them at their target with an explosion force equaling to a 500kg bomb
* stabbing them with vegetable cans
* sending hate mail
* passive aggressive beatings from a racist keyboard
* using the 873rd Jesus Christ to challenge others to a freestyle dance contest
* taking over the senate
* 1v1 in halo 3, but with rgb dildos
* yeets a star in their general direction
* self-destructs and summons 50 different beak lions, that forcefully causes the target to attend church every Tuesday
* ragdolling down a fucking hill
* writes a demon slayer fanfic
* shits on targets dog
* causing everyone within a 10-mile radius to vomit fucking bats
* throwing that son of a bitch into space
* dragging their ass to a gay strip plug
* making everyone rage for no fucking reason
=== Cult Worship of the No scoping Sentient Basketball: ===
Listen, I understand that the almighty terrors of this world can be intimidating, but none can come to such a scale like a fucking sentient basketball. This Goddamn Basketball is the worst cunt to ever breath, let alone share the same air we fucking breathe, but I have to be the only cunt in existence to give such shit news like the existence of this horrid abomination, I feel like a side character when a protagonist dies. So let me put this strait, this fucking cunt own's and effectively uses, a fucking gun, and not only does this leather round boi have a weapon of mass destruction, but he also doesn't have to even bring up the gun, this cunt just out right denies your accessibility settings of your fucking life because the power of yes. If you and your whale of a mother isn't already trying to escape to the ocean, also known as her natural habitat, because this hairy round fuck exists with the intent to shoot out your knees, I have to once again be that side character, because it only gets fucking worse. Yes, while you are lifeless on the ground, rotating like a Garry's mod npc that got struck with an ICBM, while also pissing yourself from the absolute fear of your new sleep paralysis demon, it decides to come back with friends to make you regret not stabbing yourself with a rusty kitchen knife. Hopefully you got the hint i dropped like a dumb cunt, because this leather fuck has a god damn cult for this son of a bitch. Knowing this bitch baby sucker ball can kill you with a singular trigger pull of ranged fuck you with the assistance of its ball worshiping cult, but your PTSD is going to have to take the bench for this. because there is more.
* Ball removal
* Sacrificial worship to the beak lions with your liver
* Bdsm Movie production
* Becoming a self-destructing grenade
* piss in all opened sodas in a nanosecond
* cock block your cousin
* sexual assault a pig
* remove your right to burn frogs on Saturday, and if you do you will self-destruct in a church
* screw and kill your wifu while burning in acidic shit
* throw hundreds of horse corpses at your nearest Walmart, even if your inside it
* burn your cat with a rainbow textured flame thrower
* give your local homosexual a highly explosive dildo launcher, and corresponding ammunition ever Saturday
* invaded a North Dakota school and hit every child with a can of orange Fanta soda, making everyone sticky
* starred at a plane with such integrity, it flew into the nearest tower out of sheer terror
* Made a Holocaust V2
* sent a billion default dancing skeletons that invaded the coast of Poland
If I was going to go through the entire list of this fucking leather ball of death has committed to and can commit to, I would lose my fucking sanity. Luky for you fucks that like my god damn suffering, I will share some interesting notes about the cult of this fucking leather ass slut, and I want to kill myself from the fucking terror. This god damn cult has me feeling like paranormal activity is great for a fucking children's television set, while also having me believe something is going to scare me, rape me, then fucking kill me. When I mean rape, I mean shove me into a plastic recreation of this gun wielding ball fuck and sacrifice me to their "god". These autistic fucks who have decided to sacrifice their free will to a fucking aggressive gun hoe ball of fucking death is either of the two options. They are either shitting and pissing themselves out of pure fucking fear of what they are looking at and refuse to be anywhere close to consider an enemy of this demonic spawn from the fucking beaklion's themself, or is shooting their load at a force stronger than a fucking dam gate after the sky had a weeklong piss break and is willingly wanting to become its sex slave or just exist around it's presence without being completely evisorated. That doesn't matter, because this cult could probably be the reason people are wanting to kill each other, to die before this leather boob shoots their fucking knees. This is just the common shit this cult nuts, destorys, and just overall fucking commits to.
==== Nut list ====
* rotating pufferfish
* burning cats
* purple hippos that dance for Islamic purposes
* Minecraft Redstone tutorials
* the holocaust
* bolt action rifles
* rounded objects
* hairy balls
* modded Skyrim
* confused wombats
* upside down Hispanic bear
* primed grenades
* P O W E R - S T I C K
* 4th dimension soda's
* pipe bombs
* your neighbors undiscovered landmines
* unread e-mails
* cream filled bread
* the National Guard
==== Hate List ====
* Jews
* toasted mushrooms
* gravestones
* reverse flying birds
* The entire North Poll
* whole month of June
* low velocity floating bowls
* Monkey's that are eternally on fire, that sacrifice any Muslim to their blood god
* glowing rectangles
* yellow dyed hats
* curious demons
* the child that deems anyone unworthy, no matter the sacrifice
* compressed files
==== Casual Hellings ====
* banning all frog purchases in Israel
* gave the U.S President a homosexual burrito, that made the person who consumed it, very interested in wall construction how to videos
* beat everyone inside a homeless shelter with flashlights until they supported their cause
* wrote 200 scriptures informing the public that local bread has been deemed a pink duck, in disguise, and to toast all your bread before consuming it
* murdered 150 random people by shoving a comically enlarged stick of dynamite up their ass
* forced all civilians of France to partake in a water gun tournament, except there was no water, but it was an old man's piss
* gave a globally heard announcement that said "your gay for your sister's turtle"
* help passed a law in Germany to mandate the use of grenade launchers against homeless people.
==Beak Lion Regiment==
If these mother fucking beaky bitches didn't have their own fucking regiment, they would have had a cult, but they look dat the titles and fucking said both. If you thought they would choose, you better fucking scratch that shit off your mind because i swear they have so much bullshit within this damn regiment it would take so many passages and mother fucking rants to even give you a god damn mother fucking clue what even fucking happens.
===Bullshit in the start===
here we begin with original idea of the fucking regiment, because cannibalism and aids was spreading rapid around their land, so they made a fucking regiment. As you know they named it after themselves, like every single mother fucking thing i god damn know. As you would know now it's not the autistic names that piss me off, it's the god damn action they partake in, I swear, I would rather use a cat as a fucking rocket launcher than partake in any of this bullshit. I don't think your mentality prepared for what this regiment actually fucking did, I really believe you would begin to kill yourself faster than Hitler when he faced the Jews, wait, the French, FUCK, okay, it was the American forces basically running the beaches going " WE ARE GOING TO EAT YOUR ASS FOR FUCKING DINNER YOU FAGGOTS!
===Beak Lion Civil War===
I KNOW I KNOW, they supposedly made this fucking regiment to have peace, but in the first fucking day, CIVIL WAR! I swear to fucking god and the multiple Jesus Christs, especially the 43rd that they are the dumbest things to every roam the fucking dimension. HELL, even their own fucking creatures they created are smarter than these fucking BEAK LIONS! Anyways, this is how the fucking regiment decided to fight this war, AND WIN!
*Raise their legs and high velocity diarrhea blast the enemy beak lions
*default dance enough times for the enemy to HAVE A FUCKING SEIZURE AND DIE!
*set the hostile beak lion's tail on fire and spray gasoline out of their mouths in the fucking tail
*use gasoline in a pool, and when the opposite sides enter, THEY SET IT ON FIRE
*obliviously beating the shit out of the enemies, BUT WITH JEWS
*Stole the 52nd Jesus Christ and used him as a god damn FLAME THROWER
*Give all of them aids via beak lion crack
*plant flowers in hostile lands and have them wield FUCKING MACHINE GUNS!
But this is just the beginning of this bullshit from them, they had a world war, fought all the revolts from the Jews, and had to kill AN ARMY OF HITLERS! Let's talk about that one next, where they had to fight an army of fucking sieg heiling hitlers ready to heat their balls off in fucking hell.
=== Call of Duty: Warzone ===
These motherfuckers will be the bane of your fucking existence in Call of Duty Warzone, I swear if you are unlucky enough to go against them, you are either going to be depressed, full of shit, die from spontaneous combustion, or just flat-out range and self-destruct with a force of a fifty megaton fuck you. If you hear a retarted Australian scream "STUKA" while descending with an explosive buttplug hurling towards your general direction, there is a 90% chance you are going to get a face full of fuck you and go to hell in a mass span of 0,3 seconds. The beak lions are notorious for ruining your day with retarted ways of combat, game breaking bugs, and just flat out pissing in your pants. We will list the most feared recruits of the Beak Lion Regiment that has been entered into this game, and the devs refuse to patch this, due to its complexity, and sheer fucking will. You will fear the following failures of mankind that someday will look at you within a 50m radius, and prepare for an all-out fucking civil war, and beline towards your general direction, with piss colored guns, high velocity buttplugs, and mental retardation that rivals all mental hospitals in Europe, in 1972.
==== The Suicidal Australian Terrorist ====
Flying in at the speed of mac fuck you, he straps an MG-34 and Panzerfaust informing all speedy bois that a German machine gun is better that a box with a stick. His main form of attack is falling from the sky, screaming stuka at his enemy "probably due to his type 58 brain cancer" then firing a medium velocity Butt plug of pure hate, piss, furries, porn magazines, and ur mom at your general direction, with a 5% kill rate due to his type 58 brain cancer, he can't aim for fucking shit. Even though he can't aim for shit, he somehow has the fucking audacity to use a gun nobody ever fucking uses in the game, and murder people like it's the invasion of fucking Normandy. Applying the ability of "Proned Support Bitch" gains more accuracy, even though the fucking bipod isn't mounted on anything, magicly increases the fucking accuracy for some fucking reason. He will occasionally change his arsenal to a Kriss vector. This Kriss vector shoots piss infused bullets at the opponent, covering them in piss, at a speed that is faster than your mom at a shopping mall.
==== The Stabby Crabby of Bush Monsters ====
He is stabbin, he be snipin, he also be skull fucking ur mom with a 50 bmg tactical splooge bullets from a miku gun of absolute coom. Using the power of anime, retardation, and no life, he applies all his .2 braincells to the soul pourpose of removing your ability to have fun in a video game. Also known as "The Salt Farmer", his arsenal consists of a machine gun of piss, a 50 bmg miku gun, where reloading ripps off her fucking legs, and a grenade launcher that launches fin stabilized high explosive tactical splooge. Starting with the Miku gun, this Miku gun has a built-in furry detector called the "furrdar", using this gives SCoBM the location of any furry, and when fired at a furry, killing the character, also sends the bullet their their tv/monitor, killing them instantly. We also deem this the anti furry fuck you cannon of absolute piss fuckery, speaking of piss, moving on to the piss machine gun. Also called the SG55JEW, firing default dancing marios at a velocty of beak lion piss, it speeds towards it's victims at an alarming rate, giving them imediate paralisis, forcing it's piss into the blood stream, invoking near imediate death. There is a small chance for ScoBM to just throw the maggazine at you, you would normally think it's a knife, but no, it's just SCoBM throwing his empty magazine at you at a velocy faster than a F-18 fighter jet, because he can't find his other magazine fast enough, you chose to be a sweaty mothing fucker, sliding into his ankles, like you have a kink for them. If you really get on his bad side, he will resort to his secret weapon, the Tactial Sploooge. The entire fucking map gets covered in scolding hot coom, burning hotter than the elephants foot in chernobyl. Born into the Bush Family, he is one with the almight bush god, if you isult his family of bushes, he will be forced to self destruct setting an entire forrest of fire, mostly it will be california, because they didn't burn enough, or chooses to have a hiroshema part 2. His tactical sploogle can be a simple grenade laucher, or it can implode with a force of a fucking super nova, covering all of the galaxy, in scolding hot coom for millions of miles a second, and depending on how much coom is stored in his dimensional ballsack, will be the deciding factor on how much coom SCoBM can release pur pulse. it could be a simple size of an armour peircing round, or enough to take over the fucking universe.
=Cancer, God help us all=
Cancer is an abomination that roams the damn Earth we inhabit and it is also a god damn fucking plaque we cannot ever cure. (We even tried Jesus, not even he could stop this bullshit.) This high level bull-shit is a method of making people want to shove cactus balls up their ass, blow their brains out with a herpes-infested musket, and want to shove a fully functional artillery shell up their ass until it explodes. The many varieties of cancer is endless so this article will be updated many times to add more info on the types of cancer.
In 1962, cancer was used to defeat the Japanese in the civil war, and in the war of AAAAAHHH. I will speak of these vomit inducing cancers, but not in this paragraph because your little bitch-ass didn't wright this shit! So go shove a dragon dildo in your ass, unlubricated. Don't want that, then shut the hell up an finish reading the article you god damn low velocity dumpster baby.
==Beak Lion Cancer==
Beak Lion Cancer (BLC) is a form of cancer that makes you fucking seizure to death or vomit uncontrollably, this is a type of cancer that is spreadable through other forms of cancer, which makes cancer as a whole is as deadly as it is, dumb-ass. So if you feel like convulsing because you watched a god damn furry on Tik-Tok, you probably have BLC now, and should watch your cringe intake, unless you wanna fucking die then go right ahead, you would give a new meaning to GOTTA BLAST. (Wanna learn more about these mother fuckers, known as beak lions.
===THE FUCKING CURES:===
In 1872, the only damn cure known for BLC is a low velocity anvil, Jewish toasters ,and a EXTRA THICCCC fire-farting-hippopotamus. The issue is that the ingredients were rare, because people wouldn't stop using the anvils and hippopotamuses as dildo's, thanks ya FACKIN RETARDS. Which lead to there being only one damn beaky option, which is to catapult the shity-ass beak lions to space for a Sun-Infused-Aneurysm reset. Then two more were found recently, but not in this paragraph, because fuck you.
====JESUS K-BULLETS:====
A new cure for our fellow beak lions is a Jesus hand made K-bullet, used in muskets to make boars shit in their own mouth.This was tested with Beak Lions in 1942 by a man names Von kick-your-ass-to-France Stroheim, it cured the Beak Lion Cancer, but Jesus K-Bullets are so hard to come by because you have to throw an ammo box into a volcano and wait for a light yellow pig to walk up to you, scream at a flower for 10 minuets, and shit the bullets into a pail, and if no pail, it wil forced it's ass on your mouth and will proceed.
====THE DEAD POSSUMS:====
David K. Possum has created a formula to shove into the ass of Beak Lions, to cure their Zombie-ass-syndrome. Soon after he tested it by shoving Dead Possums through the ears of the Beak Lions, being a cure to the cancer. The formula for Dead Possums is a dead possum, David's sperm, his shit, added with school internet, and green shrapnel. The uses of this fucking abomination of hell is when pedophiles and furries have 50 love children and this man wanted them fucking dead. It look like a giant ass laser cannon that is shoulder mounted blasting them with vomit, diahrea, blood, and sewer water at a high velocity destroying every skin cell b beating it up and stealing it's mother fucking lunch money.
===ITS HORRIBLE CREATION:===
The Beak Lion Cancer was birthed from David's ass-hair, a table from the sun, and a Jewish oven from under-water.When combined alone made this magical cum-dumpster that made Bean-Burrito_tacos- on white bread. Then the vary man who made Dead Possums, David KILAZA Possum, added a new ingredient to create Beak Lion Cancer, it was the entire god damn furry community at the time. A quote from him why the entire community is "Because they are the very gay and it is terrifying, and i am done having nightmares, so I burnt them in my mixing pot.
===MORE BULLSHIT INFO:===
Salamander Infused Cancer (SAL) is a salamander that has eaten an infect Beak Lion tail. The real question is how in the bloody hell do we know this? It is because we were drunk one night and had a Beak Lion with BLC and a salamander have deh sexeh teim. Our outcome was that the salamander ate the fucking tale of the god damn beak lion and received cancer. So now we have a fucking Salamander Infused Cancer and a Beak Lion Cancer, for fucks sake. The worst part is the "Infused" part. You have to digest a salamander with god damn cancer to get this shit. WHO EATS SALAMANDERS?!?!
===SALAMANDERING REACTIONS:===
The fellow salamanders were able do the weirdest shit because of cancer by enlarging themselves. Now we have salamanders stealing our women and impregnating them. We are losing to salamanders in children born, thanks Andrew ya dick. Their reaction are different from species, the different ones goes as follows.
#It turns into a Manatee and shits on peoples cars, houses, and even targets the mouth.
#LITERALLY SHIT BRICKS
#Transforms into Hitler and kills only the purple elephants
#Goes to your house and delivers a flaming pissed off wombat at your doorstep and leaves
#THEAFTING YOUR GOD DAMN INCOME TAX REFUND
#Throw glass bottles at people who look like Stalin
#Hacking your phone, loading it with shit, fucking blowing it up until the goddamn walls of your house fall down, and taking a piss on your charred corpse.
#crawl up a fellow salamanders asshole and shit constantly, leading the the salamander to inflate until combustion, and him find a new host
#MAKE A DIS TRACK OF EMINEM
#take a plank of wood from the titanic, hunt you down, and replace your left arm with it.
We guarantee it does more than just that, so if you see a salamander, run, it might have a cancer or worse........why are you still here? MOVE TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH DAMN IT
===JEWISH MERCHANTS:===
Sweet Jesus Christ these damn merchant are so Jewish they already look half bernt. Jewish Merchants (JM) is a formula code for the mixture of Russian soil, Hitler's sperm, the LGBTQ+ communities' flag, and a photograph of a Jew giving Hitler the succy succ. when you take JM and inject it into a salamander, it will, and i confirm, sell you Jew-ash-cigars and Jew-shit-chewing-tobacco. If you decline it's offer for whatever reason, it will jump on your face, and force it's entire stock into your mouth, then crawl through your ass, and begin to constantly shit itself until it fucking kills itself from it's own hairy-ass shit.
==SUB-CATEGORIES OF CANCER:
====THE START OF THIS SHIT:====
If you aren't a fucking idiot that believes Lady Gaga is your god damn wife, you know that cancer can infect other people and cause mass amounts of pain. We know so much, and yet so little about this damned nation. In total, 90% of the USA's population has
===TIK-TOK:===
To kick everything off, Tik-Tok is a platform where all the cancerous abominations reside and exchange acts. Most of it is lip syncing to a song, but it could be as bad as a dominant or submissive partner or even to the intensity of my first listed item. Now we enter, the sub-categories of cancer, that reside in Tik-Tok, so fuck off my paragraph you metal purple basket of donkey shit.
====FURRIES:====
Furries are humans that think they are part animal for some god damn reason, and start acting like animals, dressing as animals, and even behave as animals. the action of a furry can go as follows
*Shit or piss in their own mouths
*devour people whole (Vore)
*Do Tik-Toks to show off their furry costume
*Either be Sexually submissive or dominant (no middle ground)
*Make everyone believe that they are oppressed About 80-90% of the community is intertwined with the LQBTQ+ community. With most being gay or bisexual, and some cases being pansexual. It is rare to find a Straight furry, but usually they are submissive partners to an alpha-furry. THEY WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES FOR YOU TO JOIN THE CULT, EVEN BY FORCE. IF YOU ARE ATTACKED BY A FURRY, CALL THE POLICE! IF YOU DO NOT DO SO, YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED INTO THE CULT OR KILLED!
====FACEBOOK MINION MEMES:====
Usually posted by Facebook mothers trying to stay "HIP" by creating memes with minion where the picture doesn't pertain to the text. The text could be the following...
*GOD SENT YOU TO KILL ME (to the right)
*Heil the Reich, Jews ain't right
*If they have animal hair, send them to the electric chair
*One time i had a dog, i shot it
*I love cats, they go good for my bear food
*I'm not like other girls, i have an extraordinary personality
*If you want a whore, buy one, you want a queen, earn her.
*I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME JERRY GOD DAMN IT
These are some of the following phrases in minion memes where the minion is stand either smiling, not giving a damn, looking like a woman, making a funny face, and more. The background is usually a bland and emotionless color with no detail or purpose to the image.These memes are usually atrocious, do not go searching for them, the image is the one with the weakest cancer, so you will do fine as long as you don't search for these damned minion memes if you want to have a healthy mental state
===GOD OF CANCER===
This little fucker has done so much crack he has become it but replace crack with cancer. His very existence made Hitler kill himself and gave Japan their suicide bombers. HELL, just looking at this menacing picture makes me want to take the bricks i already shit out and use them as weapons against the furry community...scratch that David already set them on fire, castrated them, molest them with his huge-ass iron ass, no meat ass katana, well FUCK YOU, AND THANK YOU. Continuing on with this shit. I witness him summon some purple-ass ghostly ass demon and beat the ever living shit out of his enemies. He isn't as powerful as he is today, all he could do several years ago is scream and turn men gay. His arsenal can very on situation, i will list the shit he has encountered, and for some fucking reason won, because FUCKING LOGIC!!
*HE BITCH-SLAPPED JESUS INTO THE 16TH DIMENSION
*9/11 was him playing with toys
*He was the atomic bomb dropped on Japan
*Going against GOD HIMSELF, he grabbed his meaty ass, ripped all flesh in one pull, and had it for dinner (REASON WHY HE IS GOD OF CANCER, HE KILLED GOD AND MADE CANCER YOU STUPID SHIT!)
For recreational activities, he loves to scream like a deranged Holocaust victim, revive Hitler for him to endure a bat being anally penetrated with barbed wire, leading Hitler to anally bleed to death. I bet your dumb motha-fuckin lookin ass thinks that's all this failed abortion could do. You would be insulting the abortion clinic and their purpose, ya fucking dick wad.
His god damn presence makes all forms of cancer fear him, you think David had the power, he had to actually fucking kill them all. unlike David, Ethan's bear fucking existence is making every god damn shitty ass chunky ass cancer defecate themselves, vomit uncontrollably, and have hourly aneurysms until death. It is told that this faggot ass, wanna-be-emo lookin ass, caused Japan to create their "high tier art" If your so god damn autistic that you can't figure this out on your own you low velocity cancerous breeding faggot ass smelling E-boy, HE MADE JAPAN CREATE HENTAI.
===FROM FAGGOTRY BEGINNINGS===
His god damn rebirth in 3/1/1903, the reason of rebirth is because his dumb bubblegum lookin ass has...
*assassinated Winston Churchill with a low velocity purple pig with rabies
*beat the shit out of Joseph Stalin for delivering a burning yellow elephant in his yard
*sunk the Titanic with nothing but soft taco shells made from deer shit
*rode a beak lion into battle using nothing but David's Katana (let's say David was pissed to see his sword been robbed but happy to see it back with furry/gay blood on it)
*killed Hitler by using mostly salamanders and two burning green squid.
*SHOVED A FULL SIZED DOG INTO DONALD TRUMPS BELLY BUTTON
*inflated George Washington until he exploded
*used a mini-gun in a fucking duel
*rode a horse into China and shit on everyone's food.
There is no way to explain all the things this bitchy ass r/niceguy has achieved in his existence, there is so much bullshit that you would receive 50 doses of Mesothelioma 25 doses of Type 2 diabetes, and a good healthy does of HEPA-HERPA-FUCK-YOU-ARUS, now that we god all of the fucking sissies out of my god damn article, let's go even deeper into what this man can achieve and has achieved. No, we are so not done, no where close to done.
====ALL OF WW2====
His Jewish ass, unicorn ass, Hitler ass musket using submarine desired to make the second world war his god damn fun house so because he exists then, he has caused...
*all of France to have god damn seizures in the middle of the war
*HIPPO GRENADES
*problematic political machine guns, fires propaganda against your views
*Hitler to do the Nae Nae on the enemies capital, and take a furious shit on the capitol.
*donkey's to run into Japan with the case of hot ass diarrhea
*Great Britain to crash their bombers into a random Tiger tank, while shitting
*Japan to receive scoliosis infested bread along with jizzing in their noodles
*anorexia to become contagious in China by using Jew-Ash-Made-Cigars
*The battle of Normandy involve flying Hodgkin lymphoma nodular sclerosis infested Squids to orally penetrate their enemies (ink included)
*Jews to be infested with Jaundice and turn to cannibalism
*War Veterans to receive Alzheimer's for no god damn mother fucking reason.
*CRISPY JEWS
*Hitlers death and he default danced on his corpse
====OUTSIDE OF WAR====
His big hunky ass didn't stop at god damn war time, he continued his bullshit cancer reign even after the fucking wars. Hell, he was the one that fucking killed Franz Ferdinand, but it was with a table with barbed wire on in being orally shoved meretriciously into Franz's fucking throat. The other bullshit this man has achieve in the time period between world war one and world war two is astonishingly mind blowing, i would rather have a cactus leave its thorns in my fucking eyes than continue this shit, but yet i have a job to do to warn everyone about this god damn cancer god. So, he has...
*Sunk a boat only using hyperventilating Jesus Christs
*trolled the Germans by sending a package of beak lion shit, a bag of raccoon piss, and a star shaped package of Horse Vomit
*Screamed like a fucking maniac at chickens and devours them whole.
*DEFAULT DANCED ON A DEAD N*black person*R
*Manipulated all of France to walk into Germany, take a shit on the border, and leave
*Told America to go fuck themselves and gave them the great big sad.
*convinced a beak lion to self destruct in the USSR
*forced 30% of Poland to join the cult against the evil and deceiving beak lions
*dropped a giant ass BeanBurritoTaco on Japan, all of Europe, and the United States.
After world war two his reign of terror intensified beyond horrors. At this point he will make the name God of Cancer, and actual thing not talking about the fucking disease.
=====(1955-1960)=====
*Nae nae'd Hitler for 20 hours
*used his magic ass keyboard to Ctrl+Alt+Delete+Logoff Joseph Stalin so he could feed his personal beak lion
*Dropped a bomb full of Deer Shit on Paris France, and the next day used his SUPER LASER PISS on the whole of France,
*Pissed on Winston Churchill's wife for hitting him with a paper airplane saying "You have aids, lol"
*SET VIETNAM ON FIRE
*Castrated a gay jew at a bar for groping his no no square
*GAVE A MAN SALAMANDER AIDS
*Used a low velocity squid launcher to liberate Africa
*CHALLENGE PISSING
*will only sell used condoms
=====(1960-1980)=====
*Threw a car at a building, which the result the car catapulting off the building and molested every fucking vehicle on the golden gate bridge
*CREATED HORSE COCK STD'S
*won a NASCAR race driving sideways and rotating to the right at exactly 12.32 miles an hour constantly
*HE PISSED ON THE FUCKING MOON
*Convinced Steve Jobs to play with his food and to call the company his favorite fruit.
*Went on Mars so he could put a fucking burrito on it
*Kicked a Satellite out of orbit and gave them the option of only cannibalism to survive before returning into orbit
=====(1980-2000)=====
*Had Muslim Goth Chick run into the streets on shit on peoples vehicles
*Gave Ronald Reagan a birthday present of the on the go version of CHALLENGE PISSING
*used his magic keyboard to Ctrl+Alt+Delete+shutdown John F. Kennedy, and wasn't punished for it, but had a beak lion maul his face.
*Went to Vietnam and lure them out with RED ROBBINS......Yummmmm *BANG!*
===The end of his cancerous reign===
On thee way with a plane to drop 20 gallons of Bullfrog piss, another plane saw the giant sized sack of piss, and yelled ALLAH AKBAR, and crashed the plane into the sack of piss. Then leading to the plane wrapping itself around the back and Ethan, the fucking cube ass mother fucker he is, piloting the other plane, both planes went boom boom. Welp, now all he does is casual trolling shit, nothing too bizarre, it's not like he is going to posses a stand the can stop time.....or....nah, impossib- *ZA WARUDO*
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