nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Sexual Offender Man

You all already know about Slender Man, right? Some of you may even know about his distant relatives, Trenderman, Blenderman, Senderman, and even Tenderman (Never go near Tenderman while at parties, by the way). But, do you know about his long lost great uncle? Sexual Offender Man. Rumor has it, that he still lurks around. Waiting. If you want to contact him instantly, the best way is to go to your nearest Burger King. Order nothing, except for 30 buckets of mayonnaise and a diet water (they'll give it to you, if you threaten to sue for not allowing it to be your way). If you mix all of the mayonnaise into the diet water, and stir them. A magical vortex will appear, this will take you to the lost civilization known as "The Land of Sexual Offender Man". Once you get there, a munchkin will greet you by performing the traditional Sexual Offender Man greeting: a smack on the ass. Once you get done, ask to see Sexual Offender Man. The munchkins will then take you to the secret lair. But then, you will see the Sexual Offender Man. He wears nothing, except for a lone woman's thong, located on his forehead. Instead of having tentacles on the sides of him (like Slender Man), his tentacles are located where his penis should be. You will sit down next to him, and will engage in a nice conversation about the issues of global warming. Then, you will be asked to leave. You will be given a rainbow dildo on a stick as a souvenir, and if you rub it three times, a transvestite midget genie will pop out. Then again, I probably should stop listening to those stories that senile old man keeps telling me. He is JESUS.
Category:Satire
Category:PROOF DAT SLENDURMAN EXUSTS
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Rituwel
Category:TPOTM
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Hall of Fame
Sexy.VBS

When you load up your computer on certain days of the week, There is a file which periodically appears on MediaFire named Sexy.VBS. This program is little more than a message box written in VBS, but it does stuff other than that.
The message box is simple, and has only this sentence and an OK button.
You are very sexy. I shall now serenade you.
Microsoft Mike will sometimes randomly begin talking to you. He will talk about how you are so sexy, and that he'd kill himself for you. If you have downloaded and ran Sexy.VBS at least once and this happens, there is no escape from what is next to happen. After Mike finishes talking, a hyper-realistic image of an octopus ripping off its hectocotylus, the specialised arm which carries its gametes. This is meant to make you feel sexy, but it usually is too violent to make you feel anything other than confused bewilderment.
Then, your computer will download and automatically install Windows Vista SP1. Don't worry, your files are safe, but this also means the virus will continue its behaviour.
Once Vista is installed, the virus will play a variety of sounds from NavaShield, and Mike will tell you that he is a robot from outer space. You must tell him that you agree, or he'll make you cry by telling you to fuck off.
Now listen carefully, because the next part is terrifying.
Then, Satan, Sonic.EXE, Jeff the Killer, Jane the Killer, the PHONE, Joel, and BonziBuddy will appear on your screen. After precisely 32 minutes, 50 seconds, 60 milliseconds and 29 nanoseconds (seriously, get a drink or a snack), they will all laugh at you, causing you to have a heart attack.
And then your skeleton will get up and continue using the computer. You'll think that you - now free of your fleshy tomb - are very sexy.
It should be noted that Sexy.VBS does not work on computers which the file considers to be either hyper realistic or sexy. This means that if you are running the hyper realistic and sexy OSes of Windows 98, 2000, XP or 8.1, you're safe. In addition, if your computer is already running Vista SP1, nothing will happen unless you have Speakonia and Microsoft Mike installed. That's because Sexy.VBS can't run without Mike. The virus thinks that Mike is sexy.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ
Category:File Extensions
Category:Loads of Characters
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
SexyXXX.mov

Ok guys once when I was 8 my uncle gave me anew computer. and I was really good at computer editing stuff, adn it was night and I was bored so i looked inside all the files o try to find something and. then I found a file that was SexyXXX.mov it was hidden in system32 so i Didn't find it. I clicked on it and the computers made , an error sound. I went to get some coffee and come back and then when I did i say the video played. It was 2 girls with knifes in there vaginas and they were crying. A guy (the camera guy probably) said "sTad eachother" and they said "NO PLEASE" derpeately, and then they did. the hyper-realistic blood came out of there eyes and bodies. I shut off the ocumpter and went to bed, I was really scared.
The computer started up again on it's own but it resumed the video, I heard a really deep voice come from everywhere , it was backwards and warped and it sounded like "luos ruoy em evig" over and over. I grapped my 3DS and went on the sound program and recorded it. I reversed it with my tremblng fingers and it said "GIVE ME YOUR SOUL" Then everything stopped. tHe computer bluescreened and I was shaking and crying. I went to sleep. IN my sleep I was Satan in front of me. He showed me the video and then sucked my life out of me. Then I woke up and it was morning.
I phoned my uncles phone on the morning but no one answered, I asked my mom wha t happend to my uncle and she said "But you don't have an uncle."
----
PART 2
I t was Cristmas at my house and in my city and it was 7 months since I seen the video. I went through therapey and stuff because i told my mom about that stuff. It was night and everything was quiet, i Kepped the computer becaus it was a really good computer. Then, I saw something outside of my window. "Santa?" I said. "Yes he said." I'm here to kill you. I screamed and turned on the lights, he was gone. My mom came in shortly after and I told her what happened. She just laughed and said "Santa isn't real lol"
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:File Extensions
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
Sexy Ghost

I am a sexy ghost. I died many years ago while having sex with many women. Now I am doomed to haunt this house and seduce the women who live here with my spectral pectorals and ghostly abs.
For eighty long years, I have been cursed to be irresistible to all the lady non-ghosts who dare to dwell within these walls. I enter their dreams on a white stallion (who is also dead) and I sweep them off their feet. They cannot resist my ghostly charms. For a number of weeks, I'll come swaggering out of the shadows at the stroke of midnight (lol, stroke) and then we will engage in many sexy and erotic activities in the dead of night. I do the pottery thing from that Patrick Swayze movie sometimes, and it's always a hit.
No, they cannot resist me, and therein lies the sting of this heinous curse. Because ghosts do not have genitals
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
Seymour Skinner - Morbius

Principal Skinner, portraying the role of Morbius, was a man known for his dedication to his craft. But even he had his limits, and as he flew through the city as the Living Vampire, he couldn't help but let out an annoyed sigh.
"Ugh, this costume is so hot and sticky," he complained, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "I can't believe I agreed to do this movie. I must have been out of my mind."
As he approached a group of criminals, he took a deep breath and tried to get into character. "It's morbin' time," he declared with as much conviction as he could muster.
But as he "morbbed" all over the criminals, he couldn't help but let out a string of expletives as he stumbled and tripped over his own feet. "Goddammit, I can't see a thing in this stupid mask!" he shouted, yanking it off his head in frustration.
The criminals stared at him in shock, unsure of how to react to the Hollywood star's outburst. But Leto didn't seem to care, his focus solely on getting through the scene as quickly as possible.
Finally, with a triumphant cry of "It's morbin' time!" he finished off the criminals and took to the skies once again, ready to return to the comfort of his air-conditioned trailer.
As he flew off into the night, he couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. "This is ridiculous," he chuckled to himself. "But hey, at least I get to fly."
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Memes
Category:TELAVISHUN
Category:Shortpasta
Seymour Skinner Broke Into My House

It's a bitter, cold December night in Oakland. As I lie in my bed, waiting for sleep to befall me, I hear a faint tapping at my window.
I sit up and look outside. To my horror, there is a man inches away from my window. Not just any man, but Principal Seymour Skinner.
"It's just that dream again, He'll go away." I thought. Much in vain, I'd find, as minute upon minute and hour upon hour passed and Skinner remained, real as ever.
The more distressed I grew, it appeared that Skinner's persistence did too, as His tapping turned to scratching, to clawing as He was desperate to get inside.
Paralysed, I could only watch as cracks grew upon the glass, as the famous Simpsons star Seymour Skinner grew closer to getting in.
I broke free of his entrancing gaze, scattering out of my bedroom door as I hear the glass shatter behind me.
Within a second of the window breaking, I am grabbed from behind with inhuman strength, and stopped in my tracks.
I wake up.
In a cold sweat, I rush to turn on my bedside lamp. The window is undamaged, it was just a dream.
I look over at the foot of my bed, and my blood runs cold. On my bedsheets, there is a single box of chocolates. I open it.
It's empty.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Seymour Skinner lives on my block

One time time I was running through my block when I see Seymour Skinner naked and he's fucking a birthday cake.
"Mr. Skinner that's public indecency and I'm calling the police."
And then I run towards my house to get my cell phone and he throws the cake at me and even though I'm far away at that point it still lands on me!
I come back with the police on the phone and Skinner is now fucking a watermelon! I better keep my eye out because that would hurt if it hit me.
The police arrive and they high five Skinner as if they were old friends and the police hand Skinner a pie and he starts fucking the pie!
The police come up to me and demand my identification. I give him my ID and they give it to Skinner and Skinner takes a look and laughs uncontrollably. When I got it back he drew a penis on my head using cake frosting.
Now every time I run on my block he makes eye contact while he's fucking a food item while smiling at me, smirking even.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Shadow's Little Helper...

I can't take it any more. He controlls me and I can't stop it. He is pure evil. This all started the day I got a nintendo gamecube from my friend as she didn't want it. It came with a shadow the hedgehog game. I asked her about the game as it had no cover art on it and was replaced by some masking tape withe the words "SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG" written on it with a sharpie. But it turned out she had moved and I didn't know the number but now I know why. Anyway, I put the game into the console and it started up fine (I had known what it looked like as I played it round my friend's house) but once I had got to the intro where shadow says the name haunts him and he faintly remembers maria, the background was a little wierd. The sky was darkened and the grass that was once green and alive was yellow-goldish and dead. Shadow spoke with a fairly distorted voice to. I thought that this was a stupid glitch as the game was pretty old but it wasn't. Then I started to play through Westopolis and i could see that there were no G.U.N soldiers or black aliens. It was pretty wierd. Then I went onto the next level. All through the level, shadow kept having these flashback about maria's death. I could see on his face he had an expression which implied he was either in pain or in regret. All the levels were the same, no obstacles or missions. Then the time came for the boss to come but it didn't. Instead sonic was standing there with knuckles, vector, tails, charmy, espio, rouge and doctor robotnic. Shadow beat all of them with out me even using the controller. He then looked at everyone screaming in pain and then had a sad expressin on his face. He looked directly at me and said "You made me do this. And now you will pay and become my slave!!!" He still had that slightly distorted voice. Then the console immediatly shut itself off and so did the telly. I heard a breathing and it wasn't mine. I looked behind me and saw a shadow plushie with an angry look on his face. That was the last thing I saw. Now I'm his slave and so is my friend. The only difference is that my friend is dead. She died while saying no to shadow. She was only 21 years old, same age as me. He killed her straight away. He now controlls me and makes me kill anyone he doesn't like so beware...
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Sonic
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Old Shit
Shadow-People

Remember when you were young, cradled with blankets to your chin with all the lights snubbed and out of the corner of the room...you swear you saw something stir. But there was only darkness, so theres no way you could see what was there. Staring long and hard, you notice a sillouhoutte. It's almost human, but more monster-looking. There might be eyes. Or it may be your imagination.
Remember how your mother used to click her tongue and tell you monsters weren't real?
She lied.
Those things lurking in the farthest corner are real. There dangorous. But they only attack when you know they're alive. Oops, maybe I shouldn't have told you.
Good luck sleeping tonight.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:THERY
Category:Beings
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Old Shit
Shadow-Wolf

==Story==
Shadow-Wolf also known as the Dread-wolf is a tall creature of unknown origin and is known to be aggressive towards anything, a cult who worships this creature would often sacrifice people by hanging them by their necks with a symbol carved into their chests and would often leave offerings to it, shadow wolf is found in many place's such as forests abandoned place's and has been rumored to have been among us for thousands of years, or at least we think he has, SCP foundation has had a few attempts to detain this creature since 4/10/2010 but always failed, it toke less than 20 seconds for the creature to kill the SCP foundation men who tried to detain it.
People who often encounters this creature and lived to tell the tail has explained that this creature has many abilities such as vanish, speed durability and strength. and has mentioned that bullets do not harm this creature, but actually pisses it off, many people who ignored these warnings would often be found dead the next morning in the most terrifying ways, one time authorities found a dead body of one of its victims all cut up in piece's and impaled on the very top of a tree.
only 30% of the people who encountered it survived, and 50% died and the SCP foundation has labeled this creature as very hostile and must be avoided, but due to the government forbidding them from going world wide about the warnings people would often run into this creature and half of them are bunch of teenagers breaking and entering to abandoned place's where they were unlucky enough to actually spot this creature and some times they would be found dead, or traumatized and sometimes found injured.
==Sighting of 1963==
in 1963 a man and his wife heard glass breaking at the middle of the night, 3:00 AM in fact, the sound woke them up is what they said, they described everything saying that they looked around until they saw it, the creature was standing at their bedroom door looking at them, he was about 8 ft tall standing there as if he was waiting, then suddenly police sirens started to blare through the window, the creature then screamed then darted through their bedroom window, the man and his wife was taken into questioning soon after that
==Gallery==
File:Symbol of the cult of the Shadow Wolf.png|this is the symbol often found on the people who were sacrificed to this creature
File:Sighting 2.jpg
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Bad Fanfiction
Category:Beings
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Characters
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
Category:MARY SUE ALERT
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Category:That just raises more questions!
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Shadow.exe

I was playing my favorite game Sonic Adventure 2 as Shadow when I suddenly got the urge to play that game called Sonic.exe I think? Boy what a big mistake I made doing that. When I started up the game Sonic.exe didn't pop up it was...Shadow!?! My favorite sonic character in the classic games no way! I clicked to start and the characters to play were Big the Cat, Tails and, Rouge the bat. I clicked on Big and was sent into the Mystic Forest from Sonic Adventure DX. I started walking like you do in every exe game when suddenly...a evil looking Shadow appeared. I was wisked into a level called RUN. When I was loaded in Big looked scared out of his boots making me tear up. I started walking when Shadow came and killed Big! I had to choose Tails next. When I started walking near the end of the sky sanctuary i saw the tornado. Suddenly shadow came and shoved tails into the propeller! All that was left was Rouge. I was sent into Prison Island where I was trapped with Shadow. I tried getting Rouge out of there but she was too scared to move. Shadow suddenly lunged at Rouge killing her! The screen cut to black when a message said. Ready for round two?
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Sonic
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
ShadowOasis

__NOTOC__==The Introduction - 31st of June 2010==
A man I once knew was called Braiden. He was a good guy before his sister got raped. And then he vowed revenge on everyone. Everyone that assisted those low-lifes was his target. This isn't the scary part of this story. This is just the backstory, you see, I would never have touched his sister, ever. I have a good reason too: she's my sister. Anyway, I was there the day they were doing it to her. I tried to stop them but they took her and drove off with her. She was never heard of again. And guess who Braiden blamed for taking her away? Me. I know that we've had some difficulties in the past, me and her, but it wasn't me. He threatened to kill me if he ever saw me again.
==The Scene - 7th of July 2010==
About three weeks later, as I was walking past his house to get back home, I saw a whole bunch of police cars and an ambulance outside his house. What appears to have happened was that Braiden must have found his sister dead and abducted the people who killed her and cut them up, pulling their veins out and tying them up to the ceiling. Having completed his revenge, he killed himself by slitting his own throat.
==ShadowOasis and Braiden - 7th of July 2010==
Now that is the backstory of Braiden. But how is ShadowOasis connected to him? Now I have an xbox 360. My gamertag is Reclaimer137 if you want to add me. I knew Braiden had an xbox live account by the name of ShadowOasis. The odd thing about it was that when I got back home after passing his house, his gamertag was signed in and it sent me a video kinect invite. That was just crazy. I decided to accept because I was curious about what had happened earlier with the police. His screen came up with a darkened room and the hanging limbs of his first victims. They slowly spun around eerily. I quickly turned off my xbox and let out a cry. That wasn't like Braiden. It couldn't have been. Two days later I summoned up the courage to turn it back on again. He was the only person online on my friends list at the time. He sent me a party invitation. I accepted and all that I could hear was a loud buzzing noise on his side. This is all that I can ever hear while I'm in his party.
==The Aftermath==
His gamertag has been reverted to silver and the electricity in his house has been cut off so it is almost impossible to see him. However, once every couple of weeks he comes back online. And all I ever hear from him is a loud buzzing sound and nothing else.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Ghoooosts
Category:Jornel
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Old Shit
Shadow Lurker

Now you all know about that unnerving internet meme "Uninvited House Guest" or also know as the "Shadow Lurker" I assume, now not many people know of its existence, but, I lived to tell the tale.
It happened on summer, during my summer vacation I looked on the news for the weather to see if it's not too hot to go to the beach, the anchor man mentioned about horrendous murders and even some organs removed from the body, and when the organs were found they had a black ooze on them, now I didn't know it was the Shadow Lurker, I thought it was some sick fuck, so I called ADT to install the security system, day after day there were more horrendous killings, each more gruesome than the last.
He finally reached my door, while I was asleep I heard foot steps, I took my Barrett 50 cal, when I met him, face to face, I knew who the killer was... no one I thought of being real... the Shadow Lurker... I started shooting but he kept on dodging, and when the bullet hit him, as expected his arm flew off but what I didn't expect was that he could reattach his arms, I fled my house before he could even light it on fire.
On the TV news it said that a woman was attacked, dissected and torn apart, with what looked like black saliva on her face, when they described the woman it sounded like my girl friend! So today... till the end of life... I will get back at that demonic son of a bitch... I will murder him and then sell his organs to the black market... as revenge will be mine...
Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Unfunny
Category:Shortpasta