Patrick And Ottie's Bogus Journey

Do you know what makes me feel upset? I get upset when people are treated unfairly when they really don't deserve it. This was the case of Patrick Star the rather reluctant and badly treated mascot for The Shadow Reader's entire YouTube channel. Shadow's fans just couldn't get enough of Patrick and his zany acts. In many ways, Patrick was one of the many building blocks to Shadow's channel being as successful as it is. Think about this way. Would Shadow's channel be anyway near as successful as it now if Patrick didn't exist? I think not! There's no way! Sadly a lot if not all of Shadow's subscribers fail to realise the tragic story behind Patrick and the real sadness behind his relationship with Shadow. How did Shadow meet Patrick? Well nobody knows. Some people claim that the people met at an old rundown bar in Bikini Bottom. Patrick was about to get killed by the local Biker Gang after he knocked down their bikes. Shadow who just so happened to be drinking ass sauce at the same bar stepped in and protected Patrick from getting killed by the Bikers. The Bikers planned on tying Patrick to the back of their bikes and then dragging the poor little pink starfish all around town. Using some kung fu tactics he had learned from his homie Otterton, Shadow was able to stop the Bikers from going near Patrick. Feeling extra generous and after learning the Bikers had burned down Patrick's rock in revenge, Shadow offered the smelly statfish a place to stay and Patrick agreed happily.
Sadly, Shadow has admitted to a fan who kept pestering him for an autograph that the above story never happened. To this day, no one is quite sure how Shadow and Patrick came to meet or how exactly Shadow convinced Patrick to come and live with him. He probably offered Patrick some Sugar Patch Kids. Whenever someone asked Shadow about his relation to Patrick, he would claim that he was a close family friend and was teaching Patrick the art of creepypastas. Oh yes, Shadow every now and then forces Patrick to sit down and narrate really shitty stories that are so bad they'll make you sick. Vary sick. To be honest with you it breaks my heart when Shadow does this. Patrick is clearly not having any fun when it comes to narrating these stories but Shadow doesn't give a toaster. One time, Patrick tried to make a break for it by jumping out of the window, but Shadow grabbed Patrick by his Hawaiian shorts and pulled him back inside. Of course, there was also the time that Patrick died. Yes, seriously at long last Patrick managed to overpower Shadow by sticking a mouldy wrapper down his throat. Shadow passed out giving Patrick the perfect opportunity to escape. However, Patrick is so fucking stupid as instead of escaping he went to narrating another story until he got killed by an unholy demon which Shadow had been keeping in a bird cage located under his mattress. The demon killed Patrick and resurrected Shadow. Following his resurrection, Shadow was horrified to learn that his entire trailer was covered in a mess of pink guts. "Oh what is all this?" Shadow asked as he pulled the weirdest shocked face you will ever see.
With the help of a local social worker and sometimes a preacher Gabriel, Shadow was able to resurrect Patrick back from the dead. "Oh Shadow thank you! Thank you oh so much!" Patrick cried happily as he gave Shadow a big old hug. Shadow responded to this by grabbing Patrick by the neck as he threatened, "don't push your luck Patrick. You're on cleaning duty remember?" Shadow then proceeded to hand Patrick a broom and forced him to sweep up all of his pink guts which had gotten all over the fucking trailer. Seeing how horribly Shadow treated Patrick had made Gabriel feel a tad bit uneasy. Gabriel then left the trailer without saying another word. Taking that to be a challenge, Shadow began throwing blocks of cheese at Gabriel's car. Gabriel only just managed to escape as Shadow began chasing after the car like a mad man. What annoyed Shadow was how Gabriel rolled his eyes when he thanked him for his help in resurrecting Patrick. Ha was just a little too respectful that Gabriel! Thankfully, Patrick managed to get his own back on Shadow for making him do so much cleaning by taking a dump in Shadow's sink. Eventually, Shadow moved beyond the trailer and got himself a lovely little house far away and of course he took Patrick with him. Shadow didn't play nice with Patrick in the new environment and kept him locked up in the basement. Also, Shadow isn't a very good teacher it would seem as if anything Patrick has only gotten stupider since living with him. What does that say? It says the care and feeding of a Grinch!
Ahem! Sorry about that, in any case, over the course of 2020, Patrick and Shadow exchanged prank after prank on each other. One time, Patrick gave Shadow a healthy dose of laxatives right before he went shopping for clams. While in town, Shadow got a bad case of the runs and just as he reached a restroom he was pulled aside by an incredibly boring college professor which wished to ask Shadow a few questions including how much a log rhythm is worth. Upon returning home, Shadow knew that Patrick was responsible and decided that something needed to be done about it. Now initially while in the new house, Patrick was allowed to leave the premises whenever he wished. Although Shadow did slightly discourage it likely knowing how much chaos the pink starfish was known for causing on a day to day basis. Sadly following this laxative prank and another laxative prank, yes he seriously pulled two laxative pranks on Shadow. You think Shadow would be smart enough to not eat or drink stuff that's been made by Patrick. But I guess not. Shadow started chaining Patrick to the walls of the basement and forbade him from ever leaving the house. This is where our story begins. You may have noticed that whenever Queen of Lions, Space Voyager, or someone else recounts one of Patrick's many misadventures with The Shadow Reader; you probably realise that somehow Shadow always manages to come out on top and Patrick ends up getting punished. When realistically it should be the other way around. Well it's time we see what happens when Patrick wins and The Shadow Reader loses.
It all started on a warm afternoon you know the ones, Shadow sat in his office having just narrated another creepypasta. It was a SpongeBob lost episode about SpongeBob learning that Mr Krabs is a drug dealer. After narrating the story, Shadow sighed heavily as he asked himself, "why don't people bother putting effort in their stories anymore?" Shadow looked up at the wall clock in the room and saw that it was quarter to 2. He had a very big meeting today. Shadow was heading to the local record label in order to present his album to big shot record producer and rumoured crime boss; Benjamin King. Shadow was planning on starting his very own music career. His first album was to be called, "Shadows Of The Night." The CD smelt horrible as Shadow had dipped it in kerosene in order to give it a real purr when it spun around inside the stereo. Before leaving the house, Shadow had a little pep talk to Patrick and warned Patrick that if he stepped out of line even once today he would suffer a fate worse than death. "Hey don't worry about me Shads. Besides, I got you a little present would you like to see it?" Patrick asked to which Shadow shrugged before saying, "sure I got some time to kill before I meet with King. So what is it?" Patrick pulled a large box from behind his back. The box was blue and had red ribbons on it. Shadow took the box into his hands and opened it up. Inside the box sat a small cupcake with the reds, "Good Luck Shadow," written on it in purple icing. "What's the catch?" Shadow asked with a grim expression. "Oh no catch Shadow no catch!" Patrick said after that saying that he pulled a very evil grin. Shadow had no time to question Patrick any further as the clock had stuck 3 and it was time he headed off to meet with King.
At King's recording studio in Hepburn Heights, Shadow presented King with his album. The music wasn't very good and Shadow was so lazy that none of the songs present on the album were actually sung by him. They had all been sung by a sound alike who sounded nothing like Shadow and just sounded like he had a serious case of tuberculous. "Sounds great so if you'll just sign here." King said as he handed Shadow a large contract. By signing this contract, Shadow would be able to guarantee a career in music. Just as his pen was about to hit the paper, Shadow declared, "I can't sign a contract on an empty stomach!" Reaching his old dusty fedora, Shadow pulled out the box from earlier and opened it up. Then without warning, Shadow shoved the cupcake into his big mouth without a moment's notice and that poor bugger King didn't get anything! Suddenly, Shadow's eyes turned white and his face began contorting as King asked, "uh you okay Shadow? You need me to get you a Prune Danish?" At that moment, large hairy spiders began to shoot out from Shadow's nose and mouth and even his ears. They were incredibly large spiders and there must have been at least 100 of the little buggers! Maybe even 200. Shadow fearing for his life leaped into King's arms. Meanwhile, King climbed on top of his desk and looked at Shadow's smiling face with a glare as he said, "I see how it is. You think you can use your spider friends to kill me so you can take over my record company. You know who I am? I'm Benjamin King motherclucker! The deal's off Shadow!" King then proceeded to toss Shadow into the pit of spiders, but the spiders didn't bother biting him and instead carried him off to the fire exit as Shadow had become one with the countryside. I'm not really sure what that has to do with the spiders not biting him, but whatever not like it matters anyway right?
Shadow was tossed onto the busy streets of Hepburn Heights, and he had no doubt in his mind that Patrick had been behind it. "Oh I'll get that starfish bastard if it's the last thing I do I will get him!" Shadow yelled to a nearby old lady who had a broken spine. The force of Shadow's yell caused the old lady's spine to reattach itself. However, her joy was cut short as while running across the street to tell her grandson the good news she ended up getting run over by a truck. So sad. Shadow wanted to give Patrick a lesson he was never going to forget. He had really pushed his luck this time. Really, Shadow should have known better than to trust Patrick. Shadow didn't want to punish Patrick himself so he decided to pawn the job off to someone else. That someone else of course being his pet killer and second unofficial mascot Ottie The Otter. Oh good lord how I hate Ottie! He is a very threatening little tike who threatens to cut people unless they sub to his channel. Much like Patrick, how Shadow came to meet Ottie is a mystery. Some say they met under an old bridge in Germany, but accounts vary from person to person depending on who you ask. Following Luca Brasi's death, Ottie had taken his place as Shadow's hitman. Following Ottie's introduction video, Space Voyager joked to Shadow, "well now we've got our new Luca." Though he appeared to be all cute and innocent on the outside, Ottie was actually far worse than Luca ever was and he killed anyone that Shadow paid him to target. Ottie was the one that Shadow would send if anyone dared question him about his negative posts about Sour Patch Kids.
That same afternoon, Shadow met up with Ottie at The Purple Otter and asked if he'd be willingly to teach Patrick a lesson for him. "What you want me to do about him Shadow?" Ottie questioned while drinking a delicious chocolate milkshake. "I want you to teach that pink starfish a lesson he'll never forget!" Shadow then proceeded to pull a large chainsaw out from his ass and placed it onto the table as he said, "use this." Ottie said nothing and simply responded by nodding his head. Grabbing the chainsaw, Ottie proceeded to awkwardly make his way out of the bar as the chainsaw was incredibly heavy and hard to carry but Shadow couldn't give a fuck. Nope, all Shadow did was sit and laugh at the little otter's struggle. Ottie was troubled. Why was he troubled? Well you see; Ottie had a complex. You see; Ottie's complex was that Patrick was actually a really good friend of his. Ottie couldn't stand the way that Shadow treated him, and it broke Ottie's heart to see that Patrick was stuck living in a smelly basement. Now, Shadow had no made it clear how he wanted Patrick to be punished. He just told Ottie to give Patrick a punishment that he shall never ever forget. After giving the matter much thought, Ottie decided that he would give Shadow the heart of Patrick. Not wanting to actually steal Patrick's heart, Ottie decided he would kill the first fat guy he saw and steal their heart in order to fool Shadow. By giving Shadow the heart of Patrick, Ottie believed that Shadow would be fooled into thinking that he was dead. Ottie would then in secret give Patrick a ticket to Spain where he get a new identity under the name of Patrick Not Star. Hmm I think that name is already taken Ottie, but whatever that Ottie Otter ain't too bright ya know?
After scouting the streets for hours, Ottie eventually came across an incredibly fat man named Gonzalez who was pestering people in the street to buy some M&M's ice cream treats which melt in your mouth and not in your ass.... I mean hands. "Came here boy!" Ottie yelled as he pulled out the chainsaw and began chasing Gonzalez down the street. Gonzalez was proper dumb and he ran around waving his arms in the air like he just don't care. Carrying the heavy chainsaw caused Ottie to become very slow and it allowed for Gonzalez to escape to the police station where he would wave about an otter trying to kill him. The police officers would look at him like he was ill and that's just really beautiful in my humble bumble opinion. Losing his chance to kill Gonzalez, Ottie got ready to find a fat guy until he turned around and came face to face with none other than Patrick Star himself. "Yo Ottie what's up what's up?" Patrick asked as he gave Ottie a Prune Danish. Ottie threw the Danish at a nearby car which caused it to explode as the Danish was actually a bomb. Ottie knew all of Patrick's games like some kind of Von Clutch, and tried to explain the situation over to Patrick. Patrick's face suddenly grew very arrogant as he remarked, "oh bullocks! I'm not scared of little ole Shadow!" "Well you should be." Ottie said before continuing with, "Shadow he wanted me to teach you a lesson you'll never forget, and in order to do that he gave me this." Ottie finished as he showed Patrick the chainsaw. Patrick gulped heavily as he asked, "well what are we going to do Ottie?" "Come with me my son of wood." Ottie said as he and Patrick made their way inside the same police station that Gonzalez had also ran into. The pair were going to get police protection by telling Sam and Max their story.
Back at The Purple Otter, Shadow was busy downing a large glass of chocolate milkshake when he felt someone tap his shoulder. Turning around, Shadow was greeted by one of his subscribers who was an overweight cowboy named Apple Chin. Yeah, the guy's name was seriously Apple Chin. Great parenting am I right? No but seriously his father is an apple. Apple Chin lowered his cowboy hat as he asked, "hello sexy wanna dance?" Shadow looked Apple Chin up and down as he said, "I'm already spoken for. What do you really want Apple?" Apple Chin suddenly became very nervous as he said, "well Shadow... um... um.... Ottie and Patrick they're working together. They're going to tell the cops all about your cruel treatment!" Shadow responded to this by grabbing Apple by the shirt collar and then lifting him high up into the air as he bellowed, "you fucking what!?" "It's true!" Apple said as he reached inside his shorts pocket and pulled out his phone. He then showed Shadow a picture on his phone of Patrick and Ottie walking inside the police station together while an incredibly sinister police officer stares at them. The police officer has a boiled egg for a head. Please don't make jokes as that officer has some serious self confidence issues which came from the fact his wife was actually a turkey twister. I'm getting distracted aren't I? I can't apologize enough for that! Anyways, Shadow decided to have a quick dance with Apple Chin. They danced so fucking much that Apple's thighs were on fire. No seriously, they caught on fire and Apple was rushed to the hospital. Shadow meanwhile got into his car and headed to Space Voyager's place. It was time to put the odds in his favour.
Space Voyager was just chilling on his front porch trying his best to wash his car when Shadow came bolting up the path towards him. For some reason, Shadow had parked his car all the way down the road instead of just parking it outside Space's place like a normal person would do. Before Space even had time to react, he was pinned down to the ground by Shadow who demanded that Space help him get revenge on Patrick and Ottie. "Loved to help Shadow but can't. Loved to but can't." Space said while pulling the smuggest face you ever did see. Shadow reached inside his fedora and pulled out a picture of Apple Chin with his calves on fire. Holding the picture up to Apple, Shadow said, "this is what those two pricks Ottie and Patrick have done to Apple Chin. You really want the same thing to happen to you?" Shadow then continued with, "you realise that if those manage to get me arrested, you and Queen of Lions will be the next ones they come for you. You two are just as bad and mean to Patrick as I am." Space rubbed his chin knowingly as he said, "okay so what are we going to do about it Shads?" "Me and you are gonna pay us a little visit to the police station and sort this mess out once and for all!" Before leaving however, Shadow reached inside his fedora again and pulled out a large chocolate cake and began making out with it which made Space Voyager feel very uncomfortably as he asked, "um Shadow?" But he got no response. Back at the police station, Patrick and Ottie explained their stories over to Commissioners Sam and Max who agreed to hide the pair in their office.
Not even two minutes had gone by, as Shadow and Space Voyager pulled up on the scene in Space's car. Shadow's car had been towed but that was in a deleted scene of course. Quite a shame really as it was a really funny scene and the traffic cop was played by Vin Diesel. Shadow and Space made their way inside the police station and knocked out the two guards on duty and stole their uniforms in order to help themselves infuriate the police station easier. Space turned to face Shadow and asked, "where you think they're hiding Patrick and Ottie?" "No idea, but perhaps we..." Shadow was cut off as a large group of police officers all came running towards him. The officers started ushering Shadow and Space towards the front door with Shadow asking, "whoa what's happening? Where we headed?" That's when Max appeared on the scene and put his big meaty arm around Shadow's shoulder as he asked, "you know what day it is Shadow?" "It's Tuesday." Shadow answered bluntly to which Max responded by slapping him across 20 times before bellowing, "ha ha no! it's the day we have our annual policeman ball at the old dancing hall in Torrington." And so, Shadow and Space were forced to attend an incredibly smelly dance party up at Torrington Dance Hall. Feeling very queasy, Shadow got very sick when he was forced to eat an entire trifle in front of Sam and Max and the rest of the police force. Thankfully, Space kept the entire police force distracted with his rad dancing moves. Allowing for Shadow to pour the contents into his fedora. "Oh my you sure were hungry!" Sam laughed as Shadow remarked, "starving." Then Sam places an even larger bowl in front of Shadow who grimaced heavily.
Meanwhile, Patrick and Ottie were bored sitting in Sam and Max's office and busied themselves by playing some Shrek 2 on Xbox. "So what's the plan again Ottie? We're gonna paint the town hall red right?" Patrick asked to which Ottie responded with, "um no...prick. The plan is; we're gonna sue Shadow for all the shit he's put you through in the last four years or however long you've been living with that otter loving maniac." With The Shadow Reader and Space Voyager being distracted at the old dance hall, Ottie suggested that he and Patrick catch a bus to the Palace Of Justice for Ottie had arranged a court case with Judge Chungus. Judge Chungus once got Ottie off the hook when he was arrested for narcotics charges. He nearly gave Ottie 25 years, but because of his fine family he was allowed to go free without a moments notice. Leaving the police station through the cat flap, Patrick and Ottie headed to the nearby bus station and caught the first bus they saw. The bus driver was very tired and Ottie decided to annoy her by tapping on her shoulder constantly as he said, "oh bus driver!" "WHAT!?" The bus driver yelled angrily as she turned around to face the annoying son of a gun only to then got shot in the face by a shotgun wielding Ottie. Ottie threw the bus driver's body out of the window and sat himself down in the driver's seat.
Sadly, Ottie was not a very good bus driver as he ended up driving the bus off road into a large forest area next to a small clearing. "Dammit Ottie keep this thing on the road!" Patrick yelled as he went flying in the air as did all of the other passengers. Ottie ended up crashing the bus into a large ditch and he tried his best to reserve the damn thing but it had no effect. Patrick tried to muscle his way into the driver's seat, but in doing so he ended up accidentally hitting the emergency eject button which caused Ottie and Patrick to be shot out from the bus and they went flying for hours. Well not really hours it was more like ten seconds, and the pair ended up falling into a large river which was filled to the brim with very hungry alligators. See ya later alligator! Patrick was not a very good swimmer as Ottie was forced to drag him onto shore. Although Patrick was able to make it onto dry land safely, Ottie wasn't and was swept further up river by the massive currants. Patrick ran to the other side of the forest and found the largest twig he could. Using said twig, Patrick used it in a vain attempt to reach for Ottie's paw. He nearly did it only to then get pinned down to the ground by Space Voyager. After eating the even larger bowl of trifle, Shadow ended up vomiting all over Sam and Max which enabled him and Space Voyager to leave early. Space grabbed Patrick by the head and forced him to face Shadow who was smoking a vape as he asked, "did you miss me Patrick?" Shadow took a huge puff of the vape which caused smoke to come out from his nose as he said evilly, "you my friend are in a lot of trouble." The Shadow Reader then proceeded to go and on about what all the punishments that he and Space were going to inflict on him and Ottie once they got him out of the river. Thankfully however, luck appeared to be on Patrick's side as a large wild boar appeared on the scene and charged at Shadow causing him to fall into the river. Space threw Patrick down onto the ground as he cried, "don't worry Shadow I'm coming!" He then tried holding his hand out for Shadow only for Patrick to push him into the river as well.
Ottie meanwhile appeared from behind Patrick having washed ashore a couple miles up river. "Right so where do we go now Ottie?" Patrick asked. "Are you stupid? Did you forget already? We're going to the Palace Of Justice. I know a shortcut we can take through Clearleaf Forest. Let's move on." Ottie said as he and Patrick made their way further into the forest. Shadow was busy fighting off the alligators with his bare hands as a nearby animal control worker appeared on the boardwalk area across the river from him. He was the most miserable animal control worker you will ever see as he asked Shadow in a rather nasty tone, "what are you doing? Fighting with the alligators is a really stupid thing to do! You should just roll with the croc!" Then one of the alligators proceeded to drag Shadow underwater but by rolling with it he was able to escape it's grasp. Upon FINALLY reaching dry land, Shadow brushed himself off and gave a small sigh of relief. But then he groaned an almighty groan when he realised that Space Voyager was still in the river. Thinking quickly, Shadow jumped in the river in order to save him. Thankfully, the pair were then saved by Queen of Lions who just so happened to be out on her Tuesday afternoon ride along the riverbank. She was riding in a small canoe built for two maybe three. She pulled Shadow and Space onto the canoe as she asked, "so what you want to do now Shadow?" "I'm gonna hire a thug to kill Patrick and Ottie. Those two pricks think they can mess with The Shadow Reader? They got another thing coming!" Shadow said rather nonchalantly as he picked up his phone and dialled Killbane's number. Space smiled evilly as he said, "ooh yes that'll do it!"
Killbane is a wrestler and a proud member of the PJ Mole Syndicate, but that's story for another day. Stay another stay another day! Anyways, Killbane despite having a rather violent temper was actually a massive fan of The Shadow Reader. He was so loyal to Shadow that it was said he even killed a man just for posting a negative comment on one of Shadow's videos. Killbane's devotion to violence was awesome and his devotion to The Shadow Reader was legendary. Also despite being a wrestler, Killbane used to have his own cooking show and he was also awarded with the medal of honour at a ceremony where the conductor looked like he needed a big ole poo. After receiving The Shadow Reader's orders to kill Patrick Star and Ottie Otter, Killbane hung up the phone call as he said, "consider it done Don Shadow." Killbane had always wanted to kill that dastardly pink starfish, but he felt that it would be unwise given the fact that Patrick was Shadow's mascot and biggest money maker. In truth, Killbane had tried many a time to get rid of Patrick, but Shadow told him; "nac oes!" Every time, Killbane wanted to get rid of Patrick The Shadow Reader would just find another excuse to keep him alive. So perhaps deep down Shadow really does care about the little spud. And? Like I give a fuck! As for Ottie Otter. Well Killbane wanted to kill that punk anyway after he failed to heart one of his comments. Yes, Killbane is quite the overly sensitive little bitch but don't judge him okay? Okay easy on him and I'll make you a cookie which has mould on it cause I'm quite the bastard.
Making their way through the forest, Patrick and Ottie walked past a large tavern located in the very heart of the forest. While walking past said tavern, the pair were pulled inside by the owner who just so happened to be none other than Sheldon J Plankton himself. "You two must be starving! Come in come in!" Plankton said happily as he led Patrick and Ottie towards a nearby table. Sitting down at the table, Patrick's butt started to rumble violently as large red lasers began shooting out from his arse. "What's the matter with you?" Ottie asked as he began taking a quick scan through the menu. Patrick then said, "Ottie I gotta go! My laser pants aren't working properly!" He then shot a large red laser out from his arse which hit a nearby table and caused it to disintegrate into nothing but dust. Plankton then returned to the table and began offering Patrick and Ottie various things including a raspberry iced tea, a prune Danish, and a bran muffin unware that Patrick has to go the bathroom really badly. Unable to contain himself any longer, Patrick started flying around the room as the lasers erupted from his ass causing him to fly high into the evening sky. The force of the lasers caused the entire tavern to blow up into a million tiny bite size pieces. Patrick returned to the ground and fell onto the cold hard grass as Ottie appeared above him and asked, "you okay?" "Fuck no!" Patrick yelled angrily as a large motherclucking tank appeared on the scene. Killbane had watched the whole scene take place from afar and was getting ready to use this tank to kill both Patrick Star and Ottie Otter for good. Killbane opened the tank's front door up and stuck his body out from it as he said, "time to earn your wings kids!"
Thinking quickly, Patrick and Ottie ducked behind the rubble of the recently destroyed tavern as Killbane used the tank to fire bullet after bullet after bullet at them. "Come out Ottie and fight like a man... er or well otter." Killbane said as he began driving the tank closer and closer to where Patrick and Ottie were hiding. "Well Ottie what do we do now?" Patrick asked as Ottie looked over to the other side of the rubble and saw a large jar of mayonnaise just sitting there. "I think I have an idea." Ottie said as he crawled his way over to the jar of the mayonnaise and threw the jar over to Patrick. "Patrick! I need you to use that jar of mayonnaise to jam the tank's cannon!" "I'm on it Ottie for this is a man's steak!" Patrick proclaimed happily as he climbed his way over the makeshift fort. He ran up towards the tank and threw the jar straight at the tank's cannon causing it to get jammed. Unware that the tank's cannon was jammed, Killbane attempted to unload more rockets into Patrick but none of the buttons he pressed were working. The tank then proceeded to shut itself off as Killbane got out from the tank and began chasing after Patrick. Patrick managed to escape however by moving out of the way just as Killbane came near him. This caused Killbane to run head first into a nearby oak tree. He ran straight through the old oak tree and of course he ended up getting his entire body stuck in it. "Oh I'll get you Patrick and your little otter friend too! Oh you just wait till I get you!" Killbane yelled at the very top of his lungs as Patrick and Ottie continued their trek through the forest.
Hearing about Killbane's failure, The Shadow Reader was considering giving up when he overheard the local radio station announcing a large road block located in Mortimer Road. Mortimer Road was located just outside the Clearleaf Forest. Perhaps Shadow could use this to his advantage. After finally returning to dry land, Shadow, Space Voyager, and Queen of Lions all got themselves into Space's car and began driving their way over to Mortimer Road. Sure enough; the entirety of Mortimer Road had been sectioned off and a massive roadblock had been placed all around it. Patrick and Ottie came across the roadblock and were very unsure on how to proceed. Patrick turned to face Ottie and asked, "so what do we do now Ottie?" "Hmm... use your head!" Ottie proclaimed happily as Patrick charged head first into the roadblock but it had no effect. Patrick rubbed his head in pain as Ottie noticed an old lady pushing a shopping kart just next to the roadblock. Ottie using all his strength pushed the old lady out of the way and stole her shopping kart right from under her. Ottie and Patrick climbed their way inside of the shopping kart and used the shopping kart to speed on through the blockade. Sergeant Bill Dauterive who had been placed in charge of the blockade was so confused that he had no time to even register the fact that the pair had escaped the roadblock undetected. Of course Shadow and his cohorts were not so lucky as Bill refused to let their car go past. "Bill please! You've got to let us go through you don't understand!" Queen of Lions pleaded to which an overly obnoxious Bill responded with, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" It was so bloody obnoxious that Space Voyager had begun groaning into his steering wheel.
After getting out from the roadblock, Ottie rationalised that a shopping kart wasn't going to get them to the Palace Of Justice soon enough. Oh and yes; something I probably should have mentioned earlier is that Ottie and Patrick needed to be at the Palace Of Justice before sundown or else their case would be dismissed. Ottie and Patrick decided that in order to reach the Palace Of Justice before sundown they were going to have to take this thing airborne. Using the shopping kart, the pair made their way towards the town square where some really fat businessman were showing off their brand new blimp which was sponsored by Door Dash. Just across the square look at Quasi there! Patrick and Ottie paid the fat businessman a small loan of million dollars which allowed for the pair to take the blimp out on a small test drive. "Oh crap the controls are a tad bit off!" Ottie whined as he struggled to get the damn thing off the road. Once he finally managed to get the blimp airborne, Ottie very nearly crashed it into Ingram Offices, but he managed to steer the thing around as it began flying high into the late afternoon sky. "You sure you know how to fly Ottie?" Patrick inquired to which Ottie responded with, "oh it's easy as 1, 2.... oh fucking shit!" Ottie yelled as all of the sudden another blimp appeared in front of them. This blimp was of course being commandeered by The Shadow Reader, Queen of Lions, and Space Voyager. They had borrowed the blimp from the town square next door. Only this blimp was sponsored by O'Hare Air and not Door Dash! "This is my favourite part of the game: sudden death!" Shadow said evilly as he charged the blimp right at Patrick and Ottie's blimp.
Feeling very much under pressure, Ottie struggled to keep the damn blimp high in the sky as Shadow kept ramming his blimp into it. Ottie decided that he was going to trick Shadow into crashing his blimp. He lowered the blimp ever so slightly and began cruising through the rooftops. Shadow kept right on Ottie's case until much like Ottie had predicted he ended up crashing his blimp into a nearby factory causing the blimp to blow up into a million tiny bite size pieces. Thankfully, Shadow, Space, and Queen all managed to escape the wreckage unharmed and parachuted themselves down to safety. Of course, Shadow ended up getting caught in a tree branch as he yelled, "Patrick if it's the last thing I do I will get you! I fucking will just you wait, and the next time i won't miss you or Ottie!" "Well gee why so mad Shadow?" Queen of Lions asked teasingly which caused Shadow to say, "just help me get down will you?" Ottie laughed hysterically at Shadow's misery, but karma ended up biting him right in the arse as his blimp ended up shot down by a rocket launcher wielding Killbane. Killbane was going to prove to The Shadow Reader that he's not just a fool. Ottie and Patrick ducked out of the blimp as it blew up and the pair landed on the same hill that Killbane was standing on. Killbane aimed his rocket launcher directly at Ottie's face only to learn that the damn thing was out of rockets. "Oh bugger it!" Killbane yelled as he charged right at Ottie but he only just managed to duck out of the way.
Killbane was an incredibly powerful man but there is a way to defeat him. The only way to defeat Killbane is to remove his mask. You see; Killbane had a great deal of pride and never appeared in public without wearing his wrestling mask. Removing the mask causes Killbane to lose all of his confidence. It was time for Ottie to give that bastard Killbane the drop in confidence that he so rightfully deserved. After he failed to kill Ottie, Killbane turned his attention towards Patrick and licked his lips wildly before charging towards him. Not wanting that to happen, Ottie took advantage of Killbane's back being turned to tackle him down onto the ground. For being so small, Ottie Otter was incredibly strong and he was able easily pin Killbane down onto the ground. "Patrick! Patrick! Remove his mask!" Ottie pleaded at the top of his lungs as he struggled to keep his grip. "You got it Ottie!" Patrick proclaimed as he removed Killbane's mask revealing him to look pretty darn underwhelming. He just looked like your average Joe. Killbane grabbed his mask and began running down the street crying like a little bitch. With Killbane defeated, Patrick and Ottie sat themselves down on a nearby log. Patrick said, "well Ottie it's certainly been quite the day so far hasn't it? I wonder what other crazy surprises are in store for us?" Oh Patrick when you will learn to not tempt fate? At that moment, a band of grasshoppers appeared on the scene. One of the grasshoppers (obviously the ringleader), named Hopper turned to face the pair and asked, "you boys lost? Ya need a lift into town?" "Oh Hopper that's just what we need!" Ottie proclaimed happily as he and Patrick climbed their way onto Hopper's back. Hopper and his band of grasshoppers then began flying towards the Palace Of Justice. Ottie had given them the location in a deleted scene. Wait a second! Why the duck did we cut that part out!? Why do you keep doing this to me Vinnie!?
Ahem! Sorry about that; now believe it or not there is actually a reason why the band of the grasshoppers had chosen to help Ottie Otter in his time of need. They were not usually known for helping the weary traveller, but they seemed to have taken an exemption in Ottie's case for whatever reason. The reason? Well you see; many years ago long before Shadow had met him, Ottie worked on the fields just past Ant Island. It was backbreaking work and poor ole Ottie had to work such long hard hours! One day, the grasshoppers were having a heated debate with a nearby clan of wasps. They were incredibly British wasps, and they wanted the grasshoppers out so's they could buy the land from the ants and turn into a brand new mini golf course. The grasshoppers couldn't have that and they got ready to go to war with the wasps, but Ottie stepped in and offered a solution. "Instead of killing yourselves, why don't you just work together and things will be a whole lot easier!" Ottie suggested to which Hopper responded with, "now that's not a bad idea!" And so by working together, the overly British wasps and grasshoppers were able to build their very own mini golf course which had a room for a view. The grasshoppers and wasps on Ottie's persuasions agreed to share the club with each other 50 50, but the grasshoppers ended up gaining full ownership after the wasps were swept up by a bluejay. The bluejay ate the wasps up in one bite but then fricking DIED because it ate wasps and that was a really stupid thing to have done. Even though it had all ultimately been for nothing, Hopper was very impressed with Ottie and his skills in getting the two species to work together so he told Ottie that whenever he needed help the grasshoppers would be right there waiting for him.
With the grasshoppers' help, Patrick and Ottie were able to reach the Palace Of Justice just before sundown. The pair were ushered into the courthouse by someone I don't even know who as the court case to end all court cases had began. Patrick and Ottie sat themselves down at their table and got ready to testify against The Shadow Reader. Ottie had gotten Layton T Montgomery the best lawyer in town to represent them. It's worth mentioning that upon arriving at the Palace Of Justice, Montgomery's fat ass made his car tilt to the one side. Judge Chungus meanwhile slammed his gavel down as he asked, "Mr Otter do you have an opening statement?" "Yes your honour we'd like to..." Ottie was cut off as The Shadow Reader and his friends came running through the front door of the courthouse all the while getting chased down by the band of grasshoppers. "Shadow! Shadow! Help me!" Space Voyager pleaded as he was dragged outside by the grasshoppers. "Sorry Space but this is chicken town." Shadow said as he put on a pair of sunglasses and made his way to the table across from Patrick and Ottie. Space eventually managed to get inside the courthouse as he was going to be impersonating a lawyer for Shadow. Shadow faced Ottie and Patrick as he said in a quiet whisper, "you two are history! You're going down to Chinatown!" Judge Chungus slammed his gavel down once again as he yelled, "for fuck's sake Mr Otter can I please have this opening statement?" "Shut up you fat fuck!" Ottie yelled angrily but before Judge Chungus could complain, Ottie had already began reading out his opening statement which explained the reason behind him and Patrick wanting to sue The Shadow Reader. The statement also explained why Ottie had chosen to defy Shadow's orders to punish Patrick by instead giving Patrick the chance to get back at Shadow for all the cruel treatment he had endured over the past four years.
Patrick was then called onto the witness stand and began to tell some really tragic stories about his time living with The Shadow Reader. In truth, Patrick never wanted to read those creepypastas that Shadow forced him to read, but did Shadow ever listen to his pleas? Did he fuck! Of course, Shadow was not completely heartless as he often went out of his way to take Patrick out to eat at places like Popeyes and Taco Bell. Sadly for whatever reason, each and every time it always ended up going terribly wrong with Patrick making a big fucking mess. One time, Patrick and Shadow while at Popeyes they ended up getting banished to Hell where Shadow was forced to find a keeper for the reaper or something I don't even know. The pair only managed to return to Earth by making a deal with the grim reaper. Shadow as much he claims to the contrary he never gives a damn about Patrick or his wellbeing, and frequently punishes him merely for existing. He also gave full reign to Space Voyager and Queen of Lions to punish Patrick as they pleased. Space would make Patrick wash his car and other boring chores that nobody wants to do while Queen of Lions would sometimes trick Patrick into pulling pranks on him just so she could rat him out to Shadow and his homies. Back in the court room, Shadow smoked a candy cigarette as he turned around to see that the entire court room was clearly on Patrick and Ottie's sides. "Well Shadow I guess it's not going to work out after all." Space said to which Shadow responded by saying, "fear not Space for I have an ace in the hole."
Shadow made his way up to the witness stand and began pestering Patrick about how in retrospect he had become like a second father to the pink starfish. I mean think of things from Shadow's perspective for a second; he took Patrick into his home and gave him free meals, a job, and free lodgings. He didn't even charge Patrick rent! However, that's when Shadow started bullshitting as he began trying to gain sympathy from Judge Chungus and the jurors. He began yapping on and on about how Space Voyager and Queen of Lions were very generous to Patrick and award him with candy whenever he did chores or attended church. Wink. Anyways, Judge Chungus was not so convinced as he asked rhetorically, "you really expect me to believe that son?" "Um...." Shadow said awkwardly as he then told a really sad story about how he saved a baby scallop from a gang of neighbourhood Rottweilers. That's when Ottie and Layton Montgomery pointed a missing key point in Shadow's story. Yes it was true that Shadow saved a baby scallop from a bunch of nasty Rottweilers, but what Shadow had conveniently left out was the part afterward where he took the scallop home with him and boiled it alive. He then served the scallop on a large hamburger with a helping of Sour Patch Kids. "Oh that is simply not true!" Shadow pleaded but Judge Chungus slammed his gavel down and ordered for Shadow to sit back down. Judge Chungus declared Shadow and his friends guilty and then turned to face Layton Montgomery and asked, "what do your clients suggest is worthy enough of a punishment for these three renegades?" "We have an idea your honour." Layton Montgomery said with a smirk as Ottie and Patrick both gave each other high fives.
Shadow Reader, Queen of Lions, and Space Voyager were forced to spend the entire day driving Judge Chungus around town in his newly acquired SpongeBob choo choo train because he's quite the SpongeBob fanboy that Judge Chungus he is! No joke, his entire bedroom is decorated with SpongeBob merch. After that, The Shadow Reader was then forced to paint Chungus' entire house and then clean the entire Palace Of Justice. Meanwhile, Space Voyager was ordered to feed Chungus' lovely pet Dobermans who responded by knocking the steak slice out of Space's hands as they then proceeded to chase him down the street. Meanwhile, Queen of Lions was forced to mow the lawn and other boring chores that are so boring they will put you to sleep very easily. In Shadow's absence, Patrick and Ottie decided to throw a massive house party celebrating the fact that Patrick had won. Now, Ottie was not completely heartless and I lied a bit when I explained his plan to sue The Shadow Reader. As in reality, Ottie didn't want to sue Shadow rather he just wanted to give Shadow and his friends a taste of their own medicine. Patrick and Ottie paid Layton Montgomery's lawyer fees with Shadow's hard earned YT millions. Oh Patrick you sly fox! The pair got even further sweet revenge on Shadow by selling his crates of Sour Patch Kids online for a farthing.
The house party was massive and Patrick and Ottie invited everyone including Sam and Max, the recently recovered Apple Chin, and many others. During the party, Patrick and Ottie let off some fireworks. Patrick climbed onto one of the fireworks and laughed as it flew towards the moon. Patrick smiled as he proclaimed, "I have finally won and it feels great!" Patrick jumped off from the firework just before it exploded as using inflatable pants he was able to make his way back to the house as the party continued. Salvatore Torini was also at the party and he proclaimed, "this is a smashing party Patrick! Hey come to my summer camp when you can it's on me!" Sal then handed Patrick a free ticket to his summer camp. Oh gee Patrick I had respect for you and Ottie but then you go and invite that clown! Seriously, nobody wants to invite Sal Torini to their party unless you want someone who will cause the entire party to come to a hault and force everyone in attendance to make Marconi art or sing campfire songs. Patrick and Ottie danced the night away celebrating the fact that Patrick Star had indeed finally won and The Shadow Reader had lost. They were having so much fun that they failed to notice that Killbane was watching them from afar. Killbane was getting ready to storm the party but was held back by his boss Phillipe Loren who said, "not now Mr Killbane. Come our partner is waiting for us." The two then made their leave leaving Patrick and Ottie to dance the night away.
Of course, when The Shadow Reader's punishment was finally up, he was going to be pissed beyond any reasonable measure but Patrick was ready for him as was Ottie. What could Shadow really do anyway? Patrick was not scared of him anymore, well he kind of still was but not much as he used to be anyway. Patrick was ready for whatever punishment Shadow had to throw his way as do all who truly believe. Now if you excuse me I've got a house party to attend.
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