nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Joe Clark

Charles Joseph "Joe Who?" Clark, PC, CC, AOE (born June 5, 1939) was the 16th, and youngest, Prime Minister of Canada, and led successfully for all 9 months of his time in office. Too successfully. In fact, analysts are not quite sure why he was quickly removed and Pierre Trudeau reinstated, but most speculate it had to with the fact Canada, for once, was doing good economically, militarily, and in all other aspects. Such was simply unacceptable, and soon enough the less successful Trudeau was back in power. 
After his fall from grace, Clark spent much of his life trying to make a political comeback. From 1999 to 2003 he led the controversial We Will Never Merge With the Alliance Party Ever Party, which merged with the Alliance Party in 2003. Clark was deemed no longer cost-effective and terminated by the new leader, Stephen Harper. Many Clark loyalists, (fourteen, some Liberal plant named Sean Tisdall and one of John Diefenbaker's jowels to be precice) or Clark Bars as they were affectionately known by Donnnnnnnnnnnn Newmaaaaaaaaaannnn formed the We are Seriously Never Ever Merging with the Alliance Party so much that we won't even call them the Conservative Party Party. Joe has gone to great lengths so as to not be seen in the same country as any of them, getting elected as Prime Minister of Half of Europe on his affability alone. Before this, he taught classes on how to bitem ass at counting and other ways to be a laughing stock at American University in Washington, DC.
Today, Clark is a columnist for the Red Deer Redneck Oilwell Tribune Sun Daily News as a columnist complaining about Peter MacKay screwing him over.
Category:Canadian businesspeople
Category:Canadian writers
Category:Diplomats
Category:Politicians with boring names
Category:Canada
Joe Gobbles

Paul Joseph Gobbles</span></span> 
Hey Kids!
I'm Joe Gobbles the turkey!
Do you know any Jews?
Jews aren't like you good German boys and girls. They have horns like devils and like to eat babies.
But the Jews I know don't have horns!
That's because they can hide them with their witchcraft. They don't want you to know the truth.
Well, what can I do?!
Let me teach you about die Endlösung. Jews aren't like us. You shouldn't play with them because they aren't good.Your mommies and daddies want to protect you, so they're helping us help you by taking all the Jews to the train station.Then you won't have to worry about the Jews anymore.
Jews make a lot of people angry. Sometimes the anger wells up in them, and people spontaneously form large crowds.
They join together and form Pogroms, which are like parties.
Wow! That sounds like fun!
It is. You can run around and do whatever you want. You can break things and hit people if you want, too.
Mutti says that's mean though!
Remember how Jews are devils? You can be mean to them.They're the ones who cause all the bad things in the world.
Thanks Herr Gobbles!
Category:Fascists
Category:Nazis
Category:White people
Joe Scarborough

Joe Scarborough 	Joe Scarborough
Joe Scarborough (right) on a good day	Joe Scarborough (right) on a good day
Job: 	Former Congressman, dead body hiding expert, bloviator cable news show host
District: 	Florida's 1st District
In office: 	January 3, 1995 – September 5, 2001
Political Party: 	Democratic
Religion: 	Joe Scarborough
Spouses: 	Dead
Offspring: 	Dead
Education: 	Pretentious colleges
 	
Charles Joseph "Joe" Scarborough (born April 9, 1963) is an American attorney, author, former far-left politician who served three real terms in the United States House of Reprehensibles, as well as an unjustified fourth term he could not even finish, and current cable news host. He is currently the host of MSNBS' Morning Joe, which has the distinction of being the most liberal show on network television from 6:00-9:00 am, even beating out that Free Speech TV Channel nobody watches. He is also a world-renowned expert on the subtle differences between taco stands and furniture stores.
Scarborough formerly hosted the show Scarborough Country, which aired primetime on MSNBS, which was canceled because like other primetime shows, it could not even compete with The O'Reilly Factor. Scarborough went to host Morning Joe, after his days as an O'Reilly clone made him appear to be a has-been. Don Imus said something about some basketball team and MSNBS was not too pleased, so they gave Scarborough the duty of engaging in banal idle chit chat for three hours like every other morning news program. Drooling at the gravy of another $1,000 a year, he obliged and left "flustery Joe" for "socialist Joe."
==Electoral history==
Scarborough, in 1994, ran in the Democratic Party's primary for the seat in Florida's first congressional district, after eight-term Democratic Representative Earl Hutto retired. Scarborough defeated Republican candidate Pensacola attorney Vince Whibbs, with 62 percent of the vote. Scarborough, after being sworn in as the district's Congressman, decided to panhandle to the Congress so he could spend more time with his kids and become intoxicated with his band members back home.
Year	Democratic 	Votes 	Pct 	Republican 	Votes 	Pct
1994	Joe Scarborough	112,974	62% 	Vince Whibbs 	70,416	38%
1996	Joe Scarborough	175,946	73% 	Kevin Beck 	66,495	27%
1998	Joe Scarborough	140,525	100%	Tom Wells (Write In)	663 	0%
2000	Joe Scarborough	226,473	100%	Unknown name 	N/A 	0%
Category:Politicians
Category:Television
Joe Walsh

Joe Walsh is a species of turnip inhabiting the southern wastelands of a planet known as Spain. He lives there with his four children, Tim, Bob, Susy, and Stalin Joe Walsh. Together, they drive around in a tank, sing out of tune, and wear large yellow shoes and striped hats. Joe is also a black belt in the martial art form The Rocky Mountain Way, a derivative form of Goa Tse Do, which he uses to beat up Don Henley on a regular basis, just for the hell of it.
== APE LIPS ==
Sometimes he lives in a pool, always wearing a three piece suit with sunglasses, to hide from the media. It it believed by the Ku Klux Klan that this pool is located in the heart of a plutonium enrichment facility in Iran.
== History ==
In the 1940s, Walsh was the head leader dude thingy toodley doodle of the infamous James Gang, an up and coming Mafiosi clan in New York City. During prohibition, they opened an illicit ice cream parlor and served 49 varieties of funky ice cream with a separate window for marijuana, set things on fire and sang out of tune. Famous critics such as Roger Ebert counter that he does not sing out of tune, but in fact, invented his own key, which he calls Frunobulax. This continued until the weather got hot, when they evaporated, condensing onto a mirror where people proceeded to draw little smiley faces with their fingers. We apologise for the previous sentence, it was incoherent and rambling, and for that, you have the sincerest apologies of Uncyclopedia's chaplain, Rear Admiral Joyce Brothers (ret.).
== Legacy ==
Joe Walsh has left such an immensely deep impression on the classic rock radio, that it created a black hole which he and all his friends have fallen into, never to be seen again, other than during a brief appearance where Walsh showed up drunk to play a set at Eric Clapton's crossroads Anti-alcoholism Guitar Festival in 1066. It is rumored that Walsh was last spotted with Dick Cheney, hanging out with the cast from Friends, and Elvis. Walsh's press spokesman, Grande Douchese Gladiola Mingehouse, vehemently denies this.
==Discography==
*I am the Light, The Truth, the Way 1899
*Bigger than Jesus 1901
*If you Believe in God, why not Santa Claus? 1904
*I Rather Enjoy The Female Form--Particularly Mamories: Joe Walsh's Pinnacle Moments 1908
Category:American musicians
Category:Drugs
John (A story built one paragraph at a time)

John is the hero and main character of the epic poem known as A story built one paragraph at a time. The autorship of said piece of literature is unknown, although it is speculated that it may or may not be written by Oscar Wildeof course it is Oscar Wilde.
==Name==
The full name of John is unknown. Some has speculated that John, being the incarnation of everything and everyone that's John, will very likely have "John" in his surname as well, making his full name "John Johnson". Other critics have argued that having a -son in his surname would substract his Johnness, meaning that his full name should instead be "John John", which would not cause this controversy. Even more radical fanatics have critizised the very thought that John would have a surname in the first place, for him, who is the most John that has ever Johned, should have its full name only be "John", making him part of the 
House of the Lastnameless. 
==Biography ==
===Early life===
John was born in 
=== Kidnapping===
For reasons yet unknown, John was kidnapped by the Great Lord Móckasiin of Moccasinia, who proposed him a game, à la Saw-style. He was given two choices: playing a game of chess against a hacked version of Martin, or killing a random active admin from Uncyclopedia. Of course, John chose the murder option, as he was too stupid to win a match of chess. 
=== Murder ===
But John was witty and cunning: rather than getting his own hands dirty, he tricked 's friend, , to be the one doing the killing. Upon realizing they had just stabbed the one that owned them $2, swore vengeance on John. At the same time, Móckasiin, who couldn't let any witness alive, ordered John to kill . A battle of grand proportions was about to happen. 
=== Treason ===
In a shocking twist, John decided to date and choose love over war, betraying Móckasiin's order of killing him. Enraged, Móckasiin searched for the best hitmen in the world to kill them both, but couldn't find enough funding and became poor. A deadly mix of unlucky circumstances and poor chouces led Móckasiin to homelessness, and blinded by his ego, blamed all of his problems to John. 
=== Marriage ===
After having hot sex over his own friend's tomb, John married , who now went by the name of Dave, and went to live in a nice little town called You don't give a shit. There, John and Dave lived happily ever after... Before John got jailed, that is. 
==Legacy==
John has served as an inspiration for many people who want to make a change in the worldwhether these changes are for better or for worse, though, is unknown, specially to many Johns, who have chose to worship him as a role model to follow. Some have dared to call John bigger than Jesus; these people were burned by the Vatican for heresy afterwards. 
==References==
== See also==
* Great Lord Móckasiin of Moccasinia
* Luna
*Dave (A story built one paragraph at a time)
Category:A category built one article at a time
Category:A category built one article at a time
Category:Biographies of Ridiculous Persons
John Aaron

John W. Aaron (born 1943) is a former NASA engineer and flight attendant during the Apollo program. He is widely credited with having saved the Apollo 13 near disaster. 
==Early life==
As a boy, he was known for being somewhat of a prankster. Certain accounts tell of him going as far as launching rockets into space, and then doing a half-ass job bringing them back into orbit. Many experts believe that these early childhood behaviors may have led to him launching the Apollo 13, breaking it, and then doing a half-assed job while bringing it back into orbit. Nearly costing the crew their lives.
==NASA career==
===Apollo 12===
Aaron had sought to emulate his hero Frank Abagnale Jnr, and con his way into becoming an airline pilot, but set his sights higher than that.
Aaron's first attempt to get into the space program was foiled by a simple security check, but his brief insider view of mission control taught him that had to obtain a proper security pass to get anywhere near a Saturn V rocket. After responding to an email he received and obtaining a "genuine college degree" for just 20 dollars, he got himself assigned to the EECOM post for the uneventful Apollo 12 mission.
===Apollo 13===
Much like the real Apollo 13 mission, every attempt at humor in this particular section met with disaster. Fortunately, Aaron spotted this and, as a "Steely-Eyed-Missile-Man"--er, more like a normal guy sitting in his underwear in his mom's basement--successfully rescued this section.
Regrettably, actual details of the actual mission are sketchy (after all, the crummy spacecraft blew up--more or less). The reader is asked to consult Tom Hanks or, for a fee, Ed Harris. In the film the United States Government had a project as to make Celine Dion seem like a metalhead. Evidence exists that Celine Dion was around in 1970, and that everyone in Canada knew that back then. It is not adequate to prove that Americans were at the same knowledge.
===Later career===
After working for more than fifteen years in an earnest effort to redeem himself, he was finally given the chance to redeem himself, when he was put in charge of the solid rocket boosters for the 1986 Challenger space shuttle mission. Alas, things didn't go according to plan and following the destruction of Challenger, he was permanently removed from the space program. This is actually untrue as he was instead anally raped.
Shut up Meg!!!
==Disappearance==
Aaron settled down with his wife and children in Florida and continued to lead a quiet life until his sudden disappearance in 2003. The last confirmed sighting of Aaron was in mid January, when he was seen entering the flight uniform storage depot at NASA headquarters. NASA issued a formal statement in October of the same year denouncing reports that he had been seen on the launch tower shortly before shuttle Colombia launched as "pure speculation."
== See also ==
* Apollo Project
* The Apollo Program
* Missions to the moon
Category:Americans
Category:NASA
John Brown

John Brown was history's first Gigachad and is a man of note in American history. His beard inspired millions of hobbyists to emulation. He is rumored to have harbored anti-slavery sympathies. Brown, along with several of his sons and a group of slaves, attack Harper's Ferry, an ammunitions dump owned and operated by Southern author and noted lesbian Harper Lee. Years later, Brown would again attempt to rouse the African-American populace against injustices perpentrated on them. Declaring himself "King of the 'Burbs," the onetime abolitionist appeared on the 'White Rapper Show', a program controversial for only admitting contestants who could produce evidence of at least 15/16ths European ancestry, and spoke of a 'Ghetto Revival' that would, in his words "[take] the ghetto to, ya know, a whole new dynamic, back to the roots, yo. Race doesn't matta, yo: We all in this togethah. John Brown, King of the Burbs. Hallalujah Hollaback!" But his principal goal was to eradicate the white middle class frat boys who think it's inherently funny to copy 'black' slang and poses in order to make other white middle class frat boys laugh. He was sadly unsuccessful. 
Despite this enthusiasm, the movement fizzled, and Brown was last seen being chased down an alley-way by a giant cockroach wielding a spray-can marked "Step Off".
==John Brown's Eyes==
In any picture of John Brown, the artist had always put a lot of work into the eyes, to make them look wide and to appear to be bulging. Folk tales tell of his eyes having a mind of their own, but modern science has proved that only a liver is capable of having a mind of its own.
==John Brown's Beard==
John Brown's beard is just as notorious as John Brown himself. During the conflict known as Bleeding Kansas, which preceded the Civil War, five pro-slavery settlers were taken from their cabins on Pottawatomie Creek and were hacked to death with broadswords. Brown claimed that he had nothing to do with the murders and blamed the act on his beard, which he named "Old Reliable." After Brown was captured for his raid on Harpers Ferry, his beard was finally tried for the Pottawatomie slayings. John Brown's beard was later acquitted of these charges due to its thickness and rich texture which went unchallenged by any other beard of the day.
==John Brown's Inspiration==
John Brown is rumored to have had anti-slavery sympathies, though this has yet to be confirmed. He was also a religious man. However, that was not his main purpose in life. He had first tried to be anything but a farmer and it didn't work. Farming didn't go over so well either; whenever Brown hired a hand he ended up killing the poor fellow in an attempt to incite rebellion among the barnyard animals. Despairing, Brown turned to prayer. He claimed that he heard God speak to him. The Almighty said, "John Brown! It is I, God. I command you to end slavery using whatever means possible!" 
==Other Related Topics==
*Macaroni and Cheese
*Black Trumpet Mushrooms
*Oscar Wilde
Historical figures
Category:Oscar Wildeizms
Category:People taller than Napoleon Bonaparte
Category:People who want to destroy all things
John Bunnell

__TOC__
Sheriff John Bunnell was born Jai-El on an alien planet named Metaluna — and was rocketed to Earth as an infant by his scientist father moments before the planet's destruction. The rocket landed on Earth, near Pendleton in Oregon USA, where he was found by passing motorists who adopted him and gave him the name Sheriff John Bunnell. As the Sheriff reached maturity, he learnt he had superhuman abilities including (but not limited to) a seeming inexhaustible talent for the invention and use of crime-based puns and clichés. He resolved to use his gifts to help others, fighting anything from petty crime to universal threats.
He joined the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office in Oregon. His silvered mane and gleaming teeth ensured that he quickly became their star driver. Using parts of his spaceship he created a super car capable of running down even the most determined felon. Then, twenty-five years later he was awarded the post of Sheriff for just 3 months.
After 25 years of dedicated police service he decided to pursue a career on television. After a brief stint as a fashion editor he went solo and became the face of World's Scariest Police Chases. Here his punning powers came to the front and propelled him to international super-stardom.
== The Cruiser ==
Sheriff John Bunnell's modified police car/spaceship hybrid, nicknamed "The Cruiser" is more than capable of chasing down even the most determined felon. It's twin fusion carbide turbine engines are capable of ripping a hole in the universe big enough to swallow the sun. The car itself is sentient and capable of time travel.
== Famous Quotes ==
*This crook just bought a one-way ticket to the state penitentiary.
*And he's running on rims!
*If you're drinking, a designated driver is a good thing. However, if they drink, it isn't.
*These booze filled bandits have been pulled over after being drinking under the influence
*You just can't outfly the law
*Looks like the next time this Santa Clause will be driving under the influence is behind bars.
*These malicious miscreants are just pawns in their deadly playground little do they know sergeant Reagan is hot on their tail
*He comes hard from behind
*Rusty Fucknut has just robbed a hotdog stand but in the end i hope he likes prison food
*Pass the soap
*Now he'll be shoving razorblades up children's asses behind bars
*He won't be able to drive dangerously any more in jail.
*You little son of a bitch, I asked for PLAIN donuts. I guess you'll be serving them to the guards...in jail.
*Yo mama's in jail!
* "My latest takedown - one of the largest in history - is right here: [www.sl-prokeys.com/wffcw/ef_evidence.htm] - Leigh can run, but he can't hide."
* Yannick believed he could outrun the federal agents, the only place Yannick will be running is in the exercise yard at the state penitentiary. 
* This lone star loser smoked crack, and then got poked up his crack- IN JAIL!
Category:American sheriffs
John D. Rockefeller

John Davidson Adam Smith "Oily" Megabucks Winstonville Rockefeller is a world renowned capitalist and founder of SexxonMobile, a wireless carrier and oil company.
== Early Days ==
When most children would be outside playing baseball or causing trouble, ol' Johnny Boy would be using investment capital and revenues from his Lemonade Stand to buy out smaller oil companies. After acquiring an impressive portfolio of gas stations and drilling companies, Rockefeller put all of his competition out of business using a combination of monopolizing the entire industry, and dashing good looks.
== The Birth of SexxonMobile ==
After Standard Oil was broken up by the Feds, Rockefeller came up with a solution to re-solidify his power. Instead of monopolizing one industry, he would monopolize two!
Thus Rockefeller went to Standard Oil of New Jersey and dubbed them "Sexxon". He then went to Standard Oil of New York and dubbed them "Mobile". After all the paperwork was signed and after snatching a few of those no-name wireless carriers, John created SexxonMobile.
Secretly, SexxonMobile bought HTC and used them to brand a few of those hundreds of Android phones. Some of their models are the HTC Black Gold Touch, HTC Valdez Slide, and the HTC myPhone 3Gs from T-Mobile with Google.
== Wealth ==
Rockefeller was quite famous as being the first man to own every single item of monetary value on earth and 80% of imaginary properties.
== Philanthropy ==
Most people were not aware that Rockefeller is a heavy philanthropist. But he is! He is constantly donating to the Federal Government in exchange for not breaking up his sorry-ass oil/telecom company.
== Rockefeller Today ==
Some people believe that Rockefeller died many years ago. This simply is NOT TRUE! Rockefeller used his tanker-loads of cash to shed his human form and embraced a monolith, thus evolving to become an immortal being orbiting the Earth.
John Entwistle

John Alec Entwistle (9 October 1944 – 27 June 2002) was an English bassist who played in The Who. He was best known for his amazing bass guitar skills, which he learned through apprenticing with centaurs, as well as being one of the few Ents in British popular music. As well, it is important to know that John Entwistle is the inventor of goth.
Entwistle was nicknamed "The Ox" because he never bathed and smelled like an ox. He was also the "Quiet One" of the band, because he never smiled when the other Wholigans smashed their equipment gleefully.
==Biography==
John was born. John got older. John got a trumpet. Then a whole bunch of shit involving a nose on a stick happened and The Who was formed. The band got famous. The band made money and Tommy, Quadrophenia, and Who's Next. John bought a house and shares in Microsoft. Around then he decided to amuse himself by using his gold records for skeet-shooting. Unfortunately, although he is a god at bass, he is a terrible shot. So he bought a bigger gun each time he missed. By the time he was using a howitzer, he gave up and shot the records in mid-air by pure concentrated bass-playing. The result caused all bystanders to go completely blind and grow breasts 3-4 times the size of their heads. Then he toured with the band a little bit more.
He is the Roman God of bass. He made some money doing some solo albums, (He made one good song, Back On The Road) and he had a huge bass guitar collection and a big house and pretty much everything that you'll never get to have because you failed your childhood dreams so friggin miserably.
Then Keith Moon died.
Then The Who got a new drummer. Then they sacrificed the new drummer to Cthulu while Keith laughed his ass off in heaven. Then they stopped making music. Then Entwistle made some bitchin' solo albums. Then the old band got together again. Then they toured several thousand times.
==Death==
John became too powerful a bass player. And one day, God heard his bass, and was jealous. And God said "No." And then John Entwistle died.
The end.
Unfortunately, he passed away in 2002, and is now being held captive by Satan himself. We must gather the angels and quest to earn his freedom!
Category:Bass Gods
Category:British musicians
Category:People Who Made God Angry
pt:John Entwistle