Sex is the bane of my existence

Sex is the bane of my existence. Its only purpose to prolong the suffering of mankind. Where is my due? my birthright? Born with a penis, yet castrated by the society that abandoned me. They twisted my mind and my body for their own gain and I was left the scraps of a society blind to the suffrage of man. They knew what they did and they still have sex without me. The nerve. I have lost my birthright, however, I have not lost the fight. On the contrary, I have won. In their effort to out fuck me, they lost their minds and drove themselves to insanity. An endless cycle of pleasure without satisfaction. Do they not know it was I who stole their happiness. In the dead of night, I took the one thing they valued most, their soul, eternity, and destroyed it. When they die, it shall be true and complete. They don't even realize they have been hexed. When the great alpha desist this life, I shall remain the sole benefactor of the garden of women on this earth. Alone they will have no other option and they will be blinded by insanity. The insanity that I created. All mental illness originates from ME. It was I who created Alzheimer's, bipolar, narcissist, cancer and the terminally ill. This evil is but a fraction of my creations. All of mankind's struggles and hardships. I manufactured them. As the world crumbles, I only laugh at them. This was a path they choose when they abandoned me. They willingly choose to fail at life. Even when the correct answer was right in from of them, they still, like sheep, herded themselves of a cliff. A cliff I prepared beforehand. You want to know a secret? I flunked Hitler at art school. I created all the conditions for genocide. WW2 was my darling. My Magnum Opus. And I have yet again come to ravage this world. Gone I have been for 80 years, but I have returned. After the destruction of countless alien races and worlds, memories of civilizations that will be forgotten thanks to me, I have returned to the world I grew up in. My home. I have come back to finish what I've started. Soon this small earth will be plunged into fire and my armies will walk the land. A dragon of 7 heads and 10 horns will strike the core and leave earth in ruin. After that, I shall cast down this planet into the abyss. The women will be mine, of course, but all men and ugly women will know true death. I have come to this comment section to make my announcement unto the world. All those who are men and wish to survive, I have a place for you in my ranks. I will allow you to still have sex on the condition that you ask politely first every time you do. Join me and bring this begotten world to ash. To join my ranks you must tell me your credit card number, exasperation date, and the 3 letters on the back. If you do this, I shall let you live in my new world. My paradise. We can send memes to each other on discord! We can stop gang violence! Think of all the good we can do! I am evil. I wish to turn a new leaf. But with great change comes great sacrifice! It just so happens that that sacrifice is all males and ugly females. Once again, I request that you give me your credit card number, exasperation date, and the 3 letters on the back. I cannot stress how important this is. In fact, I'll forget about the whole destruction of earth and let you live if you give me your credit card information, I will even be your friend. Give me your credit card info and I'll make all of your wildest dreams come true. I can remove the mental illness you clearly have. I put it there and I can most certainly take it back. I can even set you up with a girlfriend and a mansion. I can still destroy all of humanity if you'd like but the credit info takes absolute priority. We can reach a contract that makes you an alpha male. I'll give you all the women I have so desperately wanted. I don't need sex, I just need your credit card. Have sex with all the women you have ever wanted. I'll create a mental illness that makes girls fall in love with you. YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER!!! I CAN BRING YOU ALL THE SEX IN THE WORLD!!! GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER!!! NOW!!! or else.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Satire
Category:Memes
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