nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Mac n Cheese

Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, attempt to make macaroni and cheese in an electric kettle.
This is the most atrocious thing I have ever done. The vile concoction that I attempted to scrape off the sides of kettle could be weaponized and probably violates the Geneva Convention. There are piles of silverware and bowls I have to clean after this disaster of an idea, the kettle is beyond repair and should be incinerated in the nearest steel plant. As for the affront to God that is currently sitting in my bowl, I am driving out to a back road with a shovel and making sure it never sees the light of day again. Please please never, even if you're starving, attempt to make macaroni in an electric kettle. Worst mistake of my life.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:EVIL FOOD
Category:Shortpasta
Macbeth

Surely you are aware of the legend of the word Macbeth. The idea that it is bad luck to say the word in a theater. Many believe that if this word is said in the theater it causes horrible misfortune. There are numerous theories as to why this may be.
Some people believe that Shakespeare took lines from an actual coven of witches who then took great offense when they saw the play, and so they cursed it. Another theory states that the man in charge of props could not find a suitable pot for a cauldron in the play, and so stole one from the coven of witches who then cursed the play in revenge.
It is believed that saying the name of the play breaks the taboo, and angers the witches, who appear as spirits and cause mishaps to happen during the production. This is where the story gets real. Superstition or not, people who say the word in a theater, jokingly or not, have suffered from horrible accidents which are often fatal. During the first premiere of the play, one of the actors who said the word died tragically on stage after a real dagger was used in the place of a prop. Due to the large number of fight scenes in the play, accidents like this are incredibly common. Not everyone dies, but many people over the years have ended up severely injured after saying the name of the play.
Shakespeare himself also once used the curse to guarantee that nobody other that himself would be able to direct the play. He used it before a performance to King James I and the Scottish Heritage. When word got back to him that the king had not enjoyed the play, it destroyed him inside, and so for the rest of his life. Shakespeare himself would only refer to Macbeth as "The Scottish Play."
==Ritual==
Next time you are in a theater, stand in the empty foyer. Place your hands by your side, look down and close your eyes. Under your breath say the word, "Macbeth". You require maximum concentration. A minute or so will pass, your senses will become numb. You will feel a cold chill, and three beings surrounding you. Do not open your eyes, or you will surely die.
For you are now surrounded by the ghosts of the three witches. With your eyes still closed, look up and speak the words, "Angels and ministers of grace defend us." (From Hamlet 1. IV) Now stand and wait, you will feel your skin begin to crawl but remain perfectly still. After a minute or so a wall of ice cold wind will hit you, once this has happened open your eyes once more. Spin round three times and spit over your left shoulder.
You have been cleansed of the curse, and for your participation, the witches have granted you with eternal fortune. Now leave the theater and never return there for anything, or you are doomed to suffer a truly sticky ending.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:THERY
Category:Rituwel
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Mad About McDonald's

My dad was mad about McDonald's and he couldn't live without having something from McDonald's at least once a day. It was good for him, but not for the rest of the family who had to put up with him. We gradually started to avoid eating at McDonald's with him, and he showed obvious displeasure at our lack of enthusiasm.
"Why won't you come? Don't you want to eat with me?" Dad said. All of us, including my mom and sister told him loud and clear, "No, Dad, we just don't want to eat at McDonald's."
He spent the whole day looking depressed, but he was unrepentant.
On one Sunday night, after we finished preparing for school, I turned off the light in the bedroom. My little sister was already fast asleep on the top of the bunk bed. I quietly slid into the bottom bunk so as not to wake my sister, and closed my eyes.
Sometime later, I heard the door of our bedroom open. I opened my eyes a crack to see who came in and saw Ronald McDonald standing there. Ronald seemed unaware that I was awake, and walked stealthily to our bed. From what I saw through my half-closed eyes and the noise being made, I could sense he was trying to wake up my sister.
"Gooood Niiiiiiiiiiight! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
I heard Ronald's joyful laugh, followed by my sister's piercing scream, and the violent shaking of the bed.
Something shot out of the top bunk and hit the desk below; the desk tumbled over, and the stationery goods scattered all over the floor.
From the doorway, I heard my mom cry out in alarm, "What are you doing here?"
Ronald turned on the light. At that moment, I realized for the first time that the person impersonating as Ronald was my dad.
Behind my dad, from underneath the desk that had turned over I saw a bit of my sister's pink pajamas peeping out. Around it, a pool of blood was forming.
The ambulance came. The paramedics looked at my dad with astonishment. My dad, in his excitement, punched one of them in the face.
My mom shouted, "You stay at home!" But my dad pushed her away and got into the ambulance with my sister. Our neighbors just watched us, dumbfounded.
I was left alone in the messed-up bedroom. My dad then told me and my mom later that he did it to make us like McDonald's more.
My little sister lied on the bed. She opened her eyes wide, clenched her teeth, and waved her arms and legs uncontrollably.
"Nnnnmph, nnnnmmmm, nnnhmmmmn," my sister groaned under the bed cover. She had damaged both her head and spine in her fall. "Daaaaghhhdyyyyyyy."
My sister, who had been so sweet and pretty before, had changed into a different creature in just half a year.
My mom cried. I said nothing. My dad munched on a Big Mac.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Featured Pastas
Mad They Call Me

It's not my fault im a little as they call me "off"
It's not my fault i like a little, gore.
It's not my fault i like killing.
It's not my fault i like killing innocent citizens.
It's not my fault I kill the Families of children so they can never realise what having a family is.
It's not my fault I want to gut everyone or anyone who looks me straight in the eye.
It's not my fault I have strange obsessions over any sort of murder or massacres that has happend on this human world of earth.
It's not my fault I cut myself, drinking the blood out of my own vains and drawing the penagram on the mirror in the liquid that apparently keeps me alive.
It's not my fault I sliced my testicles and fed it to my own flesh and blood.
It's not my fault I love the smell of flesh burning.
It's not my fault that the sounds of screams and terrified yells are music to my ears.
I know what you are thinking, im pretty much insane. No you got it all wrong.
Mad they call me.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Madagascar: The Deleted Scene (Original Version)

I love Madagascar, it's such a great movie. There's a second and third Madagascar movie as well and I watched them all too. But what I I'm going to tell you is that experienced something sinister from this movie. So I was on eBay looking for the Madagascar DVDs and this one caught my eye. This one was a little bit different because on the front cover it said " Limited edition and a Special Deleted Scene " . I was excited because I already seen all the other deleted scenes from this movie. A few days later, I got the package from the post office and went home. So I got the popcorn and pizza ready, then I put the disc into the player. However, no movie previews, it just went straight to the menu. The menu was normal. But when I got to the special features screen, there was that deleted scene. But it was titled " The fight ". The rest were the ones I've already seen, so I hit play on my remote control. This was the part where the characters start an argument at the plane wreckage, first Gloria and Newman and then Alex and Marty last. But something was wrong with this part. First when it got to the part of Alex and Marty arguing, Alex said " I'm gonna kill you Marty " in a loud and demonic voice. Marty yelled " OH GOD PlEASE NO, NO NO NO NO " . Alex then smiled widely and said " Oh yes , I want your blood " . He then picks up a machete and leaps onto Marty and stabs him in the chest and pulled his heart out. The heart was still beating then . Marty then collapsed onto the ground and then Alex ate his first and then feasted on the rest of him. I was about to throw up then. Alex then smiled at the camera and said in a demonic voice " Look at me boy's and girls , I can still be pretty. Would you like a taste of some zebra " ? As he held out some of Marty's flesh from his hand and looked so realistic that after the scene was over, I went to go puke in the bathroom. I then took the disc out and destroyed it by smashing it with a hammer. I will never forget that day . The end.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Madaline Origins

I am Madaline, I have a....problem. I'm a 16 year teenager on my way to becomeing 17.I still live with my parents,but only because of my problem. I'm a very quiet girl, very shy, almost mute as from what everyone else says. I don't go to school anymore, I was an A+ Student in everything. Only thing is, my problem is what got me kicked out of school. What is this problem you say? Well, I'm usually depressed, when I'm not depressed, I'm panicking over something. I'm easily triggered, if I get too frantic I may hurt someone. So the schools thought it was to dangerous to have me in ANY school.So I'm home schooled, or atleast I USED to be. That was until I was finished with all my lessons and there was nothing left to teach. I can't go to a college they won't accept me. So I just sit at home and stare out my window at the forest. Until one day everything changed. It was a normal day, when my father came home drunk. He always beat me and my mother when he was like this. I could hear my mother's screams from downstairs, but this time was different. I heard the sound of things breaking. My mother just suddenly stopped screaming, I got curious and and went downstairs to find her on the kitchen floor dead. I froze in place as my father slowly turned towards me. In his hand was a broken beer bottle with blood dripping off the sharp ends from where it was smashed. I reached around for a weapon as my father neared me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my pocket knife. He ran at me as I pulled it out, I panicked and stabbed him right in the gut. He froze as he slowly put his hand to the knife. He fell over and whimpered. After about a minute of me standing there trying to peice together what just happened, he slowly got up. He grabbed the knife and pulled it out. I heard the loud CLANG of it hitting the floor. I saw him begin to pull the broken bottle up, I had to act quick, I jumped out of the way as he swung at me. "Son of a bitch!" He yelled as he accidently got the bottle stick in the wall. I took this as an opportunity, I ran over and grabbed the knive. He finally got the beer bottle out the wall and turned towards me. I kicked him against the wall and began stabbing him. After about a minute, he slid down the wall and let the bottle go. I fell onto my knees, I began to cry, It quickly turned to laughter, I put my hands on my head and began to laugh insanly. I took the knife and carved in a smiley face on his cheek. I took some blood from the knife and and painted on an arrow under each of my eyes. I painted on the wall above my father the sentence Remember to smile and I left off to the city. After that day, I've never been depressed again, i'm always smiling. Everything makes me smile, especially seeing those beautiful smiles on my victims cheeks. One last thing, remember to smile!
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!
Category:MARY SUE ALERT
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Wall of Text
Madam X

I never told anybody, nobody would understand..
Then I found this site, in englisch, not my language, so I'll hope you can read between the lines and share my fear!
How can I explain in a language that's not been learned to my by birth, I have to use other words for something I cannot even write or tell in my own language.
Still I will try, please read my story, perhaps you can help me, perhaps not, just try to understand!
I'm working with the elderly in a nursing home, I am working there as a male worker, most are female, I think that is the case in most nursing homes with the elderly. So, what I do is taking care of 20 elderly people, patients and wash them, help them, take care of there every need. The live in a closed enviroment, because the have alzheimer disease or other mental diseases inflicting their memories and state of mind. The patients I work with are old, very old, their minds and understanding of what goes on around them are totally gone in most cases.
The are locked up, 20 people on two levels, 10 people a level! They can't get out, there is are closed doors with a codeslot, you have to be able to know the code to get out. Most of the patients I care for want to get out, want to go outside looking for relatives or familymembers who died years ago or just don't visit anymore. A lot my patients don't see any family or friends, most give up or can not deal with this disease, Alzheimer is most common.
I think It's sad! I see daily the suffering of loneliness, most of my patient never accepted their disease, they die fighting, fighting what the have lost in their minds and never accepthing. But not everyone, some come to accept their fate and try to make the best of it, even if their minds are failing them, They work on the things they still can and not dwell on the things the can not do anymore...
Anyhow, that was madam x, a patient who tried to enjoy the last years of her live, instead of complaining or giving up. But even madam x, came to her end and so changed my live.... foreverer!
She was dying in my nightshift, so I was there, the night it happened....
Curse my bad englisch, how can I explain, the loss of sleep, the terror of that night....
I can not do this today, not now, because tommorow I have another nightshift, I fear, fear for my live...
But I can not abbandon my patients, It is my calling, to help the sick and make them feel better...Who Wants to Die?
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Old Shit
Magic Death: The Remake

Okay, so, a few weeks ago, I watched another lost episode of Spongebob. I decided to buy a dvd called, "Spongebob Lost Episode Package". Once it actually arrived, I decided to put it in my dvd player. Then, the menu showed up. I had two episodes to pick from. Spacebob Invaderpants, and this unnamed episode. I clicked on the unmamed episode and it began. It started with the title card, no intro, for some reason. The title was: "Magic Death". There was no music, just faint static noises.
Then, the episode began. It started with Sandy relaxing in her treedome, like in that one (somewhat?) recent episode of her doing an experiment on Spongebob and Patrick. But anyways, she hears her doorbell ring. She puts on her outfit for when she's out of her treedome and sees a magic wand just lying on the ground. She got curious and decided to show it to Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward. Then it cut to Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward's backyards. Sandy ran to Spongebob and told him that there was a magic wand she found and then Spongebob told Squidward and Patrick about it and he said they should come to the front of his house. So that's what they did. Spongebob then said, "Kill Mr. Krabs!" which confused me. Then it cut to Mr. Krabs in his office. Mr. Krabs all of a sudden just started coughing up blood and he died of choking on his own blood, and his death was caused by Spongebob. Then Sandy had a look of shock on her face. Then Spongebob told the magic wand to summon a machine gun and then he shot up Sandy. Then Patrick got scared and told Spongebob to stop. Spongebob gave Patrick a glare and proceeded to summon a kitchen knife using the magic wand. Then Spongebob sliced off Squidward's head. After that, Spongebob was about to kill Patrick when I turned off my DVD Player and TV.
I ejected the disc out of the DVD player and smashed the DVD with a hammer. Then, I threw out the broken DVD. I'm much more cautious these days, as I don't trust what seems to good to be true.
Magic Death Title Card.png|The Title Card.
Pizap.com16029796485821.jpg|Right before I turned the episode off
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Crappy ms paint drawings
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:SpongeBob
Magic Lamp

Three men went on a quest to find a genie, so they got a lamp and rubbed one out. All of a sudden, a genie appeared before them.
"What do you wankers want? Ya got three wishes. No wishing for more wishes because that's fucking stupid."
The first man said, "I wish for great wealth." And just like that, he was now the proud owner of tree fiddy.
The second man said, "I want a beautiful woman as a wife." And just like that, he became the husband of an average looking woman, because beauty is subjective and there was no way of guaranteeing that the man would find the woman beautiful because the genie isn't a fucking mind reader.
The third man said, "I want skeleton." And he got skeleton.
It was time for the second wish.
The first man got another tree fiddy.
The second man got a life time supply of anime body pillows.
The third man said, "This skeleton I got was nice, but it would be even better if it floated around and made spooky noises everywhere it goes." So he got his wish.
At last, it was time for the final wish.
The first man finally figured out that the genie didn't account for inflation, so he factored that into his wish this time and became rich.
The second man learned the true meaning of beauty and stopped judging people based on their looks. He divorced his first wife and got himself a woman with average looks and a great personality.
The third man said, "I want there to be skeletons attached to all of my limbs, and I want them each to be doing cool shit like juggling and accounting and shit." So he got his wish.
Many years later, the three friends got together and reminisced. The first man showed up in a cool luxury sports car and talked about how wildly wealthy he was. The second man showed up with his wife and talked about how content and happy he was. The third man showed up and said, "Hey guys, I don't think I made the best decisions when it came to my three wishes."
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Beings
Category:Skeletons
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
Magnitude of Failure Copypasta

You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you're an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Rants
Category:Shortpasta
Mainstream Party Copypasta

I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than supporting a mainstream party. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are caring about, donating to, advocating for and putting hope in a political party for at least one election cycle solely so it can go and give your money to Israel, Ukraine, various special interests, and large corporations. All the hard work you put into your righteous little party - posting about it on social media, making donations during election cycles, talking about it with your friends, voting for its candidates, and putting up signs in your yard. All of it has one simple result: its political success is more profitable for the special interests and corporations that will eventually earn money and power off every piece of its platform.
Helped the successful party? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a random corporation who had nothing to do with the way it attracted votes. The corporations and lobbyists get to feast on its spending packages every year. They get the benefits of the party's effectiveness and popularity that came from the way you supported it.
As a citizen who supports a mainstream party, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your political energy simply to build up an organization for lobbyists and corporations to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Satire
Category:Shortpasta