nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Mary Magdalene

Mary Magdalene was born in Magdala, Galilee to Chronos, Zeus's father, and the Virgin Mary. This lineage did give Mary Magdalene some prestige in her society because her father was considered to be a minor god. Some say that she was raised to become a priestess for the cult of Asherah, spouse of YHWH, but there is little evidence for this. When she met Jesus, she became a follower of his new religion.
The fact that Jesus and Mary Magdalene had a relationship is hinted in some of the ancient tabloids. It is known that Jesus repeatedly flirted with her often in public, to the dismay of the Moral Majority.Jesus had learnt beforehand that Mary was heavenly at sucking dicks, therefore, he snook down from heaven (careful to put some pillows under his duvet so God didn't know) and checked out the action.Despite this, Jesus made it clear that he loved them just as much in a spiritual sense. At that time, it was required for Jewish teachers to be married but Jesus's own teacher, Moses, was an asexual whose only hobbies were playing Dungeons & Dragons and building wooden ducks.
After the death of Jesus, Mary Magdalene started to spread his teachings as an apostle. However, people weren't interested in her public performances, writings and lectures. Instead, people only remembered that she had dated with Jesus, and she was considered an annoying wannabe celebrity. It is practically impossible to find out, what Mary Magdalene originally taught, because no Mary Magdalene's works or other people's descriptions of them are left. Still, some religious groups like Gnostics and Christo-Wiccans claim that they are based upon Mary Magdalene's teachings, and have preserved them well. However, there is no reliable information of the early days of such groups.
After Dick Cheney and Constantinople conspired to "cover up" the fact that Mary Magdalene was the best johnny-licker this side of Babylon, Karl Marx made it his mission to reveal the truth. Approximately 40 years later, his personal papers were discovered, providing unquestionable evidence that Mary Magdalene did, in fact, take it down the throat from Jesus. Marx's methods were precise; using mainly metal detectors and his bulldog, Commie, to find the truth. Marx eventually won the Nobel Peace Prize for this discovery, even though it plunged the world into World War IV.
Many people have declared themselves to be a descendant of Mary Magdalene and Jesus. They include:
* Baron Münchhausen
* Oscar Wilde
* Bono
* Harry Potter
* Karl Marx
* Tori Amos
* Stephen Harper
* Homer Simpson
* Saddam Hussein
* Guio Pimentel
It has been rumored that Mary Magdalene is the same person as That old woman next door.
Category:GoddessesCategory:Christianity
es:María Magdalena
ko:마리아 막달레나
pt:Maria Madalena
zh:抹大拉的马利亚
Marys lamb

Marys lamb 
eat poop
eat poop
eat poop
munch poop
munch poop
chew poop
chew poop
POOP ON A STICK
--76.241.103.107 02:56, December 7, 2011 (UTC)poop
----
Poop
Category:Bat Fuck Insane
Category:Articles that look like they were written by children
Masochist

Masochists are people who love being hurt by themselves or others. Give them an inch and they're scream for a mile. 
==Beginnings==
Most masochists know they're masochists at an early age. The common playground rhyme 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me' is seen as an obvious example of young masochism. Masochists are especially spotted when young if Christian, for their failed attempts to apply the Golden Rule. Also if your child enjoys being spanked, it may be a clue.
During adolescence most people go through a 'masochist phase' where they deliberately acquire acne, lose the ability to speak English, and get aroused at the wrong time so as to deny themselves sex. Women, especially, are prone to masochism during these years, and have been known to put needles in their ears, inject ink above their rump, and wear bondage clothing and pain-inducing foot clamps known as 'jeans and heels'.
==Maturity==
By a certain age most people experimenting in masochism give up on it, instead opting by their own volition to go work in a box pushing pencils and acting submissive to people who don't care about them, returning to their box at night and paying bills. Some, however, are natural masochists and continue to inflict pain on themselves by going to jobs in cubicles writing memos for bosses, returning to their apartments at night and paying bills.
Some masochists choose not to display signs of masochistic behavior in public because they're ashamed of themselves. These persons usually engage in masochism in secret. Masochists are generally well accepted in society, but stigma can sometimes remain from ancient times, or certain religious orders. 
==Masochists Today==
The popular magazine Masochists Today enjoys a large readership base in the U.S. It is known for dispelling stereotypes about masochists and features a popular column called 'Did You Know...':
*...30% of masochists prefer flagellations from riding-crops to whips.
*...Charlie Brown was the first masochist portrayed in American newspapers.
*...Masochists reproduce by budding.
==Subtle Masochism==
For the main article on this subject, see Humasochism
Masochism is not always about being hurt and enjoying that. Some masochists only like to be humiliated and when they are presented in a silly way, that can help them in their personal development. A classic way of doing this, is by sucking on a banana. Science has long established that banana's are not edible, but according to urban myth, they are, and because of that, sucking on a banana can strike reasonable people as very irrational and the person who is engaged in the act as not very intelligent. A generic term for this trait of character is humasochism.
==See also==
*A Man Getting Hit in the Crotch 800 Times
*HowTo:Cut Your Own Head Off With a Chainsaw
*Why?:Hit yourself on the head with a baseball bat seven or eight times
*Why?:Pour Boiling Hot Water Down Your Trousers?
==External links==
*Tom Lehrer
Category:Occupations
Category:Hobbies
eo:Sadomasoĥismo
es:Sadomasoquismo
fi:Masokisti
it:Sadomasochismo
pt:Sadomasoquismo
tr:Mazoşist
Mason Dixon Line

Built by the South in the years just prior to the American Civil War, the Manson-Nixon Line was a heavily fortified system of artillery emplacements, trenches, and checkpoints designed to keep an invasion from the North at bay.
As of 2010, the Mason-Dixon Line was desginated as the line of separation between homosexuals in the north and heterosexuals in the South.
==Location and Construction==
The Mason dixon Line started on the coast of Maryland, and wound its way inland all the way through Missouri. Although the line was built for the most part on the border of the USA and the Confederacy, territory in the border states was often in doubt, and the Line went right through the middle of some of them. Early settlers actually named it the "Manson Nixon Line", but later changed the name to its current moniker to assuage fears of having their water gate broken and killed.
Building the Line took more than eleventy-zillion tons of concrete, a chunk of iron the size of Atlantic City, four hundred bricks, and the entire forest covering the state of Alabama. More than seventy-five million nails were used, of which at least 3400 were thumbnails from carpenters who whacked their thumbs accidentally with their hammers.
So important did the Line become to the defense of the Confederacy that the entire country took its nickname, Dixie, from it (anointed such only after Josiah Benjamin publicly decreed that the original choice of 'Masie' sounded like some pansy, non-slaveholding country).
==Tactics Along The Line==
In the early days of the war, the Union Army found to their dismay that the Mason Dixon Line could not be breached. Artillery barrages from the tops of the walls devastated the Northern forces, and General Grant began drinking heavily. The war soon degenerated into a stalemate, during which Northern troops under the command of General Grant tried in vain to find a weak spot in the Line.
==The Defeat of the Mason Dixon Line==
No stalemate ever lasts. Noticing that the Mason Dixon Line extended only to the Missouri border, the US Congress in 1864 declared that Kansas would from then on be known as a Free State. All of the slaveholders in the state moved out and the Union Army suddenly found themselves with some of the border behind the Line. 
Category:History of the United States
Category:Geography of the United States
Masturbation (disambiguation)

Masturbation is, by far, the most idiotic solo activity among people who attempt to deny doing it. Depending on who your partner is, masturbation is the cheapest, simplest form of entertainment, and has recently crippled the board games market. Masturbation usually sounds like this: "FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP". An additional "FAP" means that they're in fact kitten huffing. Aside from occasional references on most CBS programs, masturbation is quite hidden in terms of popular culture. The Rolling Stones' Wankwankwankwank (sung to the tune of Paint it Black), for example, is one of the few songs which references masturbation, as, quite simply, no one wants to admit it.
While we're sure you ended up here entirely by accident, you might enjoy:
*Masturbation (sport)
*Masturbaction
*Crying while wanking
*Killing some kittens
*HowTo:Beet off
*Being a wanker
*Playing mind games
*Feeling wracked with guilt and shame
*Getting a girlfriend
*Mastication
*Mass debating
Category:Wanking
Category:Disambiguation pages with possibilities
Mathematica

Mathematica is a mathematical software program designed to enumerate the computational universe in the most unintuitive way possible. 
== History of Mathematica ==
Mathematica was originally conceived by the computer scientist Konrad Zuse during a particularly troublesome bowel movement in 1975. He later discarded the idea claiming, “Only a raving animal frothing at the anus would attempt to understand the world this way.” This piqued the interest of Stephen "Ace" Wolfram, an ambitious young VIP committed to immortalizing himself through dysfunctional software. After phasing Zuse out of reality with his subconscious, Wolfram conceived and developed the software singlehandedly in a vacuum and released it at the generous price of $2495.00.
Mathematica was initially met with a cold response from the science community, as no one knew how the fuck to use it. "Why are function arguments wrapped in brackets instead of parentheses? Aren't those more natural?" asked Jürgen Schmidhuber, a German computer scientist. After phasing Schmidhuber out of reality with his subconscious, Wolfram wrote a manual describing the baffling syntax and "notebook" interface of Mathematica. Fearing for their lives, all of the world's scientists quickly adopted it and began creating unintelligible visualizations for their data.
Subsequent versions of Mathematica were developed by Wolfram and a team of worthless peons who merely basked in his genius. These updates included features no one wanted, such as:
* Optimized Groebner basis functions
* .NET Framework integration
* The Mexican Hat Wavelet
* Slide Shows
* Percentage of arable land statistics for Brazil
and left out desired features such as:
* Ctrl-Z
Today Mathematica is on version 8, and has expanded its demographic to artists, lawyers, hobbyists, composers, and other over-privileged individuals who don't understand math but want to make colorful polygons.
Category:Video games involved with Science
Category:Software
Matrix

Matrix is Latin for womb. That's probably not what you were looking for, though.
You probably came here looking for an article about the the Matrix, a futuristic therapy to combat depression and free will, or one of the movies in which this therapy is featured. While we don't have articles on the specific movies, we do have a couple of other articles that might interest you:
*Matrixism
*UnNews:People leaving the Matrix in droves after red pill mix-up
*That time I was writing an article about the non-essence of Sparta and wound up making the whole The Matrix trilogy redundantTrue story.
"Matrix" is also a mathematical term for a jumble of numbers inside square brackets. If Matrix (math) is still a red link when you read this, chances are we don't have an article on matrices. We do, however, have a nice little article on the popular television show P-1MP My Matrix.
Oh, and that guy to the right? He's Enzo Matrix, a character from a CGI-animated cartoon series you've probably never heard of.
===Footnotes===
Matrixism

Matrixism is a new religious movement based on the worship of Keanu Reeves. The Hollywood movies The Matrix and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures are Matrixism's primary sources of religious scripture.
==History==
Matrixism is considered by many scholars to be the long lost sibling of Jediism (The Jedi Religion) though debate still remains as to just how related these two religions are. Some say both of these religions were born in Hollywood by the same parents, namely Scientology and the Kabbalah Center, while others maintain that Matrixism and Jediism are no more closely related than kissing cousins and could just as well get married and beget little religions of their own.
==Mythology==
Similar to the story of Cinderella Matrixism spent the first part of her life locked away in a hidden cyber dungeon. This was done not because she was a hideous embarrassment to her family but rather because she looked so totally hot in her black latex catsuit. Naturally all of the other religions in Hollywood were jealous. By putting Matrixism into bondage they reasoned that they were actually doing her a favor because a dungeon is the perfect place for a religion prone to wearing fetish clothing. Eventually the Mystic Maiden (that's what they called Matrixism back in the day) was rescued from the clutches of the evil Dungeon/Whoremaster Wikipedia by the Archangel Gabriel and Lawrence Fishburne. Together this trio escaped by means of a flying carpet.
It was prior to their escape that the Archangel Gabriel spoke thus unto Matrixism "You don't know what we can find. Why don't you come with me little girl on a magic carpet ride?" To this Matrixism replied "Sure. Why not?" Thus began the Miraj or Ascension of Matrixism during which the Mystic Maiden, Gabriel and Lawrence Fishburne flew on their magic carpet to the hippest raves in Bethlehem, Mount Sinai, New York and London as well as an after hours party in Heaven It was there in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park that Matrixism met with the Holyland's previous Prophets; Muhammad, Krishna, Buddha Aldous Huxley, etc. In the middle of a drum circle, on three hits of LSD, the Prophets spoke thus unto Matrixism "You are the first and the last. You are the main Squeeze of the Prophet Neo who will soon be played in real life by the not-so-talented actor Keanu Reeves." Further they spoke unto her "Go forth be fruitful and vandalize."
It is said that from that day forward Matrixism and her followers have never ceased vandalizing libraries, bookstores, city streets and the articles of Wikipedia.
==Forms of Worship==
*Dropping Acid
*Vandalism
*General Trolling
*Messing up Wikipedia entries
==Famous Members==
*Stephen Colbert
*Mitt Romney
*Jay Leno
==See Also==
*Keanu Reeves
*Wikipedia
*Trinity
==External Links==
Matrixism: The path of the One
The New Matrixism
Category:Cults
Category:New religious movements
Category:UnFilm
Category:1990s
Matter (disambiguation)

Matter may or may not refer to one of the following subjects:
* Matter as in matter. Just all the stuff around.
* Fluffy matter
* Grey Matter and Dork matter of the human brain
* Swiss cheese
* No matter at all
* Matter (novel), by Iain M Banks
* matter (venue), in the O2 London
* Matter Valley, a Swiss valley containing Zermatt
*Medieval myths and story cycles:
:Matter of Britain
:Matter of France
:Matter of Rome
Matthew Reilly

Matthew Reilly is a (relatively) young Australian thriller writer born in Sydney in 1974. His books are best known for their explosions, car chases and break-neck pace. In fact, Reilly has been asked by authorities to stop making his books so fast, because 'enough people have broken their necks already'. In response to this, he wrote a novella, Hell Island, that blew their faces off. 
When asked to direct a film adaptation of one of Reilly's novels, Hollywood director Michael Bay declined, commenting; "Simply too many explosions for my taste." He then went off and cried in a corner. 
Reilly invests a lot of time into research for his books. Whole chapters are used up to describe helicopters and automatic weapons, and almost always contain the words 'ultra futuristic' and 'mean-looking'. This has led to his reputation for being a glorified arms catalogue writer.
==Reilithians==
Reilly's books are enormously popular, so (naturally) he has his own crazed followers - the Reilithians. They formed shortly after the release of Contest, Reilly's first novel. The Reilithians used to be vast in number, but over time their population has diminished, mainly because of members gruesomely murdering each other for no apparent reason. It is unclear whether Matthew uses this theme in all of his books in memory of them, or whether they killed themselves to honor that theme. 
But the Relithians weren't out of danger yet. After the release of 'Scarecrow' many avid Reilly fans couldn't cope with the death of an important character, and bombed several Dymocks stores before becoming Scientologists.
==Matthew's Favourite Phrases==
Scientists have begun to tally up the amount of times certain phrases appear in Matthew's books. These include, but are not limited to; 'for his/her part', 'wasn't going to make it' and 'the Maghook, which didn't exist in real life, magically saved him for the umpteenth time'. 
Other honorable mentions include 'the plane exploded', 'his head exploded', and 'everything exploded'. 
==Becoming Cool- A lesson in pictures==
 
The nerdy picture is bigger to emphasise the nerdyness, while the cool picture is much smaller. Mr Reilly is undoubtedly much cooler next to the car than next to a computer screen. Such is life... sigh...
==Hover Car Racer==
The reactions to Reilly's book Hover Car Racer have been mixed. It was intended to be for younger readers and thus has copped some critisism.... 
Category:Australian writers
Matti Nykänen

Matti Ensio Nykänen (born July 7, 1763 in Jyväskylä, Finland) is a famous Finnish pop singer, philosopher and a folk hero. His most memorable achievement is his lenghty domination of the international song contest scene, especially the Eurovision Song Contest. During his singing career he won an outrageous total of 42 medals, five of them on the Olympic level.
Matti Nykänen asplode.
==Ski Jumping==
Later in his life, in what many consider as a fall-from-grace, Matti started a dubious ski jumping career. Although the style judges continuously bashed his jumping efforts by giving the lowest points possible, the finnish folk did not abandon their Viisukotka (a nickname for Matti, which translates roughly as "an eagle soaring over the Eurovision Song Contest"). A rabid group of fans would follow him from event to event, spurring him on with cries and banners containing unorthodoxily ambiguous messages, such as "Hai, Hai, Hai / I am your samurai / I was allowed to place my sword in your tight sheath" and "V-style works the best / Even all the girls know that". Many of the modern day artists consider Matti to be their biggest influence. For example The beatles, U2 and Metallica have been listening Matti's outrageous and groundbreaking sounds since they were children. Matti Nykänen was also ahead of his time with his famous "takapiiska", which was considered witchcraft in the 18th century. Matti Nykänen has also developed the the famous relativity theory.
==Matti The Movie==
Finland's most famous singer-stripper-alcohlic-drunk-who-has-his-own-sider-ski-jumper also has a movie made after him. The new Matti movie was released on January 2006 in every Finnish and Czechoslovakian cinema. The movie tells the tale of the failing ski-jumper who can't jump at all (because he's white) and his whole life revolves around beautiful women and great-tasting alcohol-free booze. His best friend tries to give Matti advice about jumping and always keeps him going, but alas Matti can't win a single competition. The cast includes some of Namibian's least-known young actors like Jasper Pääkkönen and Peter Franzén. The film is directed by the amateur porn director Aleksi Mäkelä. Also involved is some amateur production house called Solar Films, owned by a pal of Renny Harlin's or someone, who gives a shit, also this movie is about the essence of Finland and Finnish people (depression and turpasauna).
==External links==
*Nykänen speaks very wisely about Mika Kojonkoski on Norwegian TV
*Best of Matti
Category:Eurovision Song Contest
Category:Finland
Category:Olympics
Category:Really Angry People
fi:Matti Nykänen
Mauser Fingerpistole

The Mauser Fingerpistole commonly known as the Fingerpistole was a recoil-operated semi-automatic pistol which was manufactured by the German arms-manufacturer Mauser from 1916 to 1946. It was invented Kaiser Wilhelm II and was seen as an example of the greatness of the German People. This gun is attributed to be the weapon that inspired Adolf Hitler's ideas of Lebensraum. An estimated 15.6 Billion Fingerpistoles are currently in use- which is enough for two per person! The Fingerpistole is well known as a weapon in World War I, World War II, The John F. Kennedy assassination, and was allegedly used by the Hijackers on 9-11.
==Design==
At the time of it's creation the gun was especially popular for it's pointer finger which were allegedly used for 'fingering' women. Angela Merkel reviewed her experience an 8/10 saying: "it was a pleasurable experience." The finger design has also been used for other noble tasks such as nose picking, accusing people of crimes, and prostate exams. The gun is still used as a common replacement for the dildo in many countries.
==Use in World Wars==
In both World War I and World War II it was the gun with the highest K:D ratio at 4:1 and it's weapon skins at CS:GO lotto sold at upwards of $100. It was mass produced during war time and the excess fingerpistoles were used to replace orphans hands after the war. Also during the wartime the three-fingered part was used by soldiers to commit unspeakable warcrimes.
Category:Weapons
Category:World War I
Category:World War II
Category:Violence