God's userpage

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Hi, I'm God.Have a Look Around.
TALK	•	AWARDS	•	ARTICLES
= And God said, "Let there be userboxes." And they were good. =
=And God said, "Let there be awards." And they were good.=
	Featured Planet: EarthThis person created a planet which became one of theFeatured Planets in the Universe.
	Dwarfed Planet: PlutoThis person created a planet which wasn't big enough to become one of the Featured Planets in the Universe.
	This user created Jesus, a person originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested People. Good for them us!(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)
 Supreme Being of the Month January 1 B.C.'''
	Featured Planet Continent
:Africa
This user created a continent which was on the face of a featured planet.
	Ninjastar of BethlehemFor putting the "Christ" into "Traditional Pagan Winter Solstice Ritual" –Reverend Jeremiah Wright
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=And God said, "Why not combine thy talkpage with thy userpage so it will be more convenient?" And it was good.=
==Welcome!==
Hello, God, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:
*Beginner's Guide
*Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends 
*How to be funny and not just stupid
If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
*About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
*How to get started editing on Uncyclopedia
*Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
 
At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:God/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - - onto it as well.
If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Amen, welcome! --Hi! 01:00, January 1, 96 bya (UTC)
:Gee, tha...hey wait a minute. Didn't I create you? -- 01:03, January 1, 96 bya (UTC)
== Unbanish us! ==
It was the snake's fault! -- 6:07, January 12, 1 B.C. (UTC)
:For the last time, if another user reports you to Banish patrol with a good enough reason, then you're blocked. Sorry. Next time, go to ED if you want to eat apples. -- 6:20, January 12, 1 B.C. (UTC)
== Enlighten us ==
So I hear you're pretty hot shit up there in heaven. Any musings that didn't make it into the bible you'd like to share with us? --Dr. Strangelove 08:47, January 3, 96 bya (UTC)
:Well this one time this priest was talking total shit in one of my churches, I mean, like he was really fuckin' it up, right? So he goes, "And on the 7th day, he rested!" And I'm like, "You really think that's how it happened? Naw, on the 7th day I got high and partied 'till two cops showed up at the door and told me stop. Then I turned them into a pair of studded leather boots and a clod of dirt, respectively. And after that, I partied the rest of the night through!" But this motherfucker is all like, "Don't listen to this foul voice from the heavens! 'Tis the devil trying to play tricks on us!" And I'm like, "Bitch, this is my house." And smite him. Ha ha ha, good times... -- 09:00, January 3, 96 bya (UTC)
::... --Dr. Strangelove 09:16, January 3, 96 bya (UTC)
:::Well, I guess you had to be there... -- 09:17, January 3, 96 bya (UTC)
== About what you said ==
I'm prepared to kill my son, just like you said. --Abraham (talk) 23:44, December 12, 100,000 BC (UTC)
:Dude, I was joking! -- 01:03, December 13, 100,000 BC (UTC)
::lol --Abraham (talk) 02:14, December 13, 100,000 BC (UTC)
== Hear my prayer ==
Dear God, please use your powers to cure my puppy's pneumonia. --Some Christian 03:45, March 9, 1954 (UTC)
:What? -- 03:46, March 9, 1954 (UTC)
::And bless Mommy and Daddy and Johnny and my fishie, Mr. Poopy. Amen. --Little Christian 03:47, March 9, 1954 (UTC)
:::Stop asking me for free stuff. -- 03:48, March 9, 1954 (UTC)
::::And please God, let me win the lottery so I never have to work again. --Lazy Christian 03:49, March 9, 1954 (UTC)
:::::Who are you people? -- 03:50, March 9, 1954 (UTC)
== You don't exist. ==
Take that, bitch. -- "'Sup, broski?" Converse - Awesome contributions 3:36, October 1, 1954 (UTC)
:Smited -- 3:45, October 1, 1954
::The past-tense for smite is smote, you idiot. ~ 3:49, October 1, 1954
:::Smote -- 4:00, October 1, 1954
== I am a Southern United Baptist ==
Does that mean I go to heaven when I die (when you decide that I don't live anymore?)
--Fred Phelps Talk 04:45, January 3, 1987 (UTC)
:Naw, you're goin' to hell. The true religion is Buddhism. -- 05:00, January 3, 1987 (UTC)
== Hey! ==
Why'd you huff The dinosaurs? I liked them! --Dino lovr 12:10, April 9, 65,000,000 B.C. (UTC)
:See my huff reason. -- 12:15, April 9, 65,000,000 B.C. (UTC)
== We Will Not Let the Jews Go! ==
Never! --Pharoah of Egypt () 06:05, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)
:Let them go or I send the plagues. -- 06:08, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)
::Heh, like you actually would. --Pharoah of Egypt () 06:12, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)
:::There, I did. Are you happy? -- 06:35, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)
::::Of course not, I have a frickin' rash on my neck! But I'm still not letting the Jews go. --Pharoah of Egypt () 06:41, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)
:::::Mind if I kill your firstborn? Of course, it's too late to ask since I already did it. -- 06:43, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)
::::::Ehm okay, what else have you got? --Pharoah of Egypt () 06:47, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)
:::::::How about if I tell everyone in Egypt that your room is decorated with Ricky Martin posters? -- 06:52, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)
::::::::OKAY FINE I'LL LET THE JEWS GO! --Pharoah of Egypt () 06:55, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)
== Sorry ==
Sorry dude, I broke your stone tablets. Hope you don't mind. -- Moses (user talk) 11:34, June 4, 50 B.C. (UTC)
:Okay, for that, you have to wander in the desert for another 40 years. -- 11:50, June 4, 50 B.C. (UTC)
== Hey ... ==
Hey, God, noticed you banned Judas but didn't give any reason. Last I checked, he didn't do anything wrong. Why did you ban him? --The Apostles 12:53, August 5, 5 A.D. (UTC)
:He vandalized an article for 30 pieces of silver, only to give it back and QVFD his userpage... Pathetic. -- 1:00, August 5, 5 A.D. (UTC)
== Hey, Asshole ==
I'm taking over your World. It's mine soon. -- 05:36, October 10, 60 B.C. (UTC)
:Go to hell...and stay there. -- 05:38, October 10, 60 B.C. (UTC)
::Damn you -- 05:43, October 10, 60 B.C. (UTC)
:::You don't damn people, I do. And I just damned you to hell. Owned, bitch. -- 05:48, October 10, 60 B.C. (UTC)
 
Category:Uncyclopedia
Category:Pages that look like the things they're about
Category:Indestructible
Category:FA God
Category:FA Christianity
Category:FA Religion
Category:FA Uncyclopedia
Category:FA Non Encyclopedic
Category:FA Pages that look like the things they're about