nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
I should had listened to pa

journal entry number one
january 14th 1856
I should had listened to pa when he told me the story of the witch that cursed his blade that sits in the corner of the barn. At first i thought he was just trying to scare me with one of his famous ghost stories but then he told me how it became cursed. He said that the witch came to try to take his horses, so he went and did what any body would do he grabbed his one and only blade and walked out to the barn and threatened to kill her if she even dared to touch one of the horses, for she to had a blade in her hand too . He said the witch started to mumble to herself and then started shouting at him. Thats when pa lost it he ran and stabbed her right in the heart and in her last dying breath she said " whoever dare use this blade  will suffer until the day they die " and with that she slipped into the sleep from which no one wakes up from.  I thought pa was just plane crazy at the end of that story so I decided to go out to the old barn once pa was asleep. As soon as I heard pa snoring in his bed I put on my shoes and walked outside. when got to the barn I picked up the blade that was right were pa said he left it when i picked it up and I felt a horrible pain in the hand that held the blade I just said to myself that it was just pa's story getting all up in my head. I found a hay bail in front of pa's winning horse so I had a go at it and through the blade at the bail. Nothing happened but more pain in the hand that held the blade. I just laughed at pa's story and went back to bed. When i awoke the next morning I had a huge bump on my hand I put on my glove and went to work in the corn fields. I grabbed the blade that was left in the bail and ran into the fields as fast as I could so pa wouldn't catch me. when I got home I put the blade back in the barn and went strait to bed. The pain in my hand began once again and I couldn't handle it any more i lit a candle and looked at my had and saw it decaying away right before my eyes. I let out a scream and pa came running. I explained to pa what I did and what was going on and he just stared into the night sky. I smacked him across the face (which someone of my stature should never do to there father but this time i felt it was necessary ) once his gaze had cleared I showed him my decaying hand which is at this point was half bone half skin. pa didn't know what to do but scold me for using the blade. After pa was done scolding me he started to cry and yell at himself for ever telling me that story. After he was done he wrapped up my hand in an old cloth and said to never undo it.To this day half of my body has decayed away including my legs and face i fear that the end is near for me and that i will soon be a bag of bones. I also fear this will be my last journal entry for the hand that I am writing with will soon be gone like the wind.
I should had listened to pa.
end of journal entry number one.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Jornel
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:English Class Failure
Category:YT Readings
I should have known

It was the summer of 1997, me and my wife were getting ready to go to Australia, I went into my son's room to wake him up but he was not there. I told my wife about it and she said "What do you mean?" She had a shocked look on her face and then she said "Do not look behind you" I was very confused. Then I heard my son screaming and then he just went silent. We rushed downstairs only to find his body without his head then we saw it. It was horrifying the creature had no eyes but it had very very sharp teeth. We then sprinted outside and ran to the local police station. They did not believe us. I was charged with his murder. My wife was asked questions but she just said "There was this thing I told my husband to not look behind him. It then climbed up the wall and ran down the stairs it ripped my son's head off and ate it. We thought our son was in his room but he was downstairs eating breakfast. We think that thing was in our house all night. My husband saw it and ran out of the house and he could be dead in his cell right now because of you stupid police officers!" Then It came into the police station. People were screaming! Blood was going everywhere! Guns were shot! That thing just would not die! It then was outside my cell, I knew I was going to die, but it didn't come in my cell, it just growled at me. I was horrifed. It then sprinted out of the station faster then a motorbike. It was all over the news about that monster! I let out and they investigated it. Me and my wife will never forget that day. I should have known that it was always here. This is the last thing I will write before I die but it told me it's name.
It is the Knightmare.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Beings
Category:Im died
Category:Wall of Text
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Featured Pastas
I swore in Dog today

Today, I saw my Dog, and said "Bark bark bark bark bork bark". He gasped, and said, "Master, You have uttered the forbidden phrase!" There was a rumble, and Anubis manifested above the local cemetery.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Animulz
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
I think I heard something

It was 2 in the morning and I had gotten up to grab a glass of milk. I live alone so I wouldn't expect to hear something in my house, but when I grab the glass from the cabinet I hear a low humming sound. I couldn't tell where it was coming from, but I was spook'd.
My skin couldn't deal with the spook, so my skin slithered off my body, and left to get to a pack of smokes. It's been 15 years, and my skin still hasn't come back. My muscles and nerves have gotten a lot more sensitive since I lost my skin, but I guess that's how it goes sometimes.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Skeletons
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
I think I might be a Giant

In school the kids always made fun of because I wore clothes made of goatskin and I ate rocks. I got back at them though, I ground their bones to make my bread. When I returned home I would squeeze through my mother's front door and, as she poured gallons of steaming pig's blood down my hungry maw, she would sigh wistfully, as thought she were keeping some dark secret from me.
When I was 18, I left for college. I failed almost all my classes. I spent most of my time sleeping while snoring comically loudly, while occasionally burping up the skeletal remains of errant knights. The only class I excelled in was building stonehenges. My skill in this department landed me a cushy job at Google, which has lots of gargantuan monoliths to dispose of for some reason.
I settled down in Silicon Valley and found a nice apartment balanced precariously atop a magical beanstalk. I never thought I'd live in a place like that, but something about it just spoke to me.
I met my wife in June of 2019. We have decided to try for a baby. She has just come home from the obstetrician's office and she looks like she's been crying. I'll just walk over to ask about the results of my DNA test...
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
I think I might be half lizard

I've always like lizards. They're so relatable with terrible skin, always running away from people and layin in the sun. And my father hates them just as he hates me.
Today I was anxious. Really anxious. Anxiety, you know. Nothing was happening, I was just fidgety and suddenly I felt a piece of dry flesh next to nail. I teared it and each time l pulled, more and more kept coming out. It felt endless. When I watched bellow I was shocked. Where I expected to see my muscle and part of my bone maybe, there was new skin growing.
I told my mom and she told me to shut up and eat my breakfast. I wasn't taking that. I'm a freaking half lizard, so l intimidatingly showed her my tongue. She whopped my ass. My parents are clearly against us. As I write this I fear for my life. I probably should escape, but l hadn't quite gotten the hang of climbing walls. I'm helpless and terrified that one day they decide to feed me to a bird or something.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Animulz
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
I think my buddy Jon probably has 11 slaves in his basement

So yesterday I saw my buddy Jon eating a bagel, only one, but yesterday Jon bought 12 bagels, obviously, he is missing 11 bagels, I think that Jon keeps 11 slaves in his basement, please help.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:One sentence
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
I think my dog is a clone

This may sound odd, but I think my dog is a clone of Gerald Jay Sussman. It all started when I came home from work one day to find my computer with Emacs running with lisp.; Odd because I turn my computer off when I leave for work. The next I came home, my computer was off, but my dog was on my couch reading SICP. I swear, he was lying there with the book open. I don't even own a copy. I took it from him and he tried to bite me. A few days later, I got a letter in my mail sent to Gerald Jay Sussman. Some university wanting him to teach a class on lisp. Another strange thing, is that when he barks, it almost sounds like he's yelling 'cudder' for some odd reason. He also somehow burned a CD with 'We conjure the spirits of the computer with our spells' song. When ever I have to take him in the car he has to play it. Can someone help me?
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Inside Jokes
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Old Shit
I think my neighbors are corpse shredders

Recently, I moved into a new place that I got cheap. The real estate agent promised there was nothing wrong with the place and that the neighbors definitely does not get rid of corpses for the mafia. Which put me at ease, even though the guy who sold me the apartment told his wife "Thank goodness that we got out of there before the neighbor killed us and shredded our bodies to get rid of the evidence!" when he though I wasn't eavesdropping next to a dumpster. "Yeah, good thing we tricked that stupid idiot to buy our place, now he can get killed instead!"
Well anyway, a few days later, a van from Honest Tony's Carpet Roll company parked in front of the building and delivered a rolled up carpet to my neighbors. Soon after, a noise, like a giant meat grinder started to sound through the ceiling. Well, how annoying, I thought, just when I was going to watch porn work on my nobel prize winning project. I can't jack off work scientifically with that racket going on. I decided to go upstairs and make them stop.
I knocked on their door. The grinding sound stopped. A little while later, a guy opened up and I said "Excuse me, I'm trying to jac... to do sciencing more better, so I can win the Nobel prize, and a Harvard. Please be quiet." "Eeyy! Forget about it!" he replied. I didn't quite understand what he meant but I think I got the message across. I was more concerned about the blood stained apron, and the severed foot lying on a bench behind him.
"Say, Mr...." "Spaghioli." "Spaghioli, why is your apron so bloody, and why is there a severed foot lying over there?" I asked, but before he could answer, another man came from a different room, wearing similar attire. "Eeyy, Tony!" the newcomer said "I need more bags for the shredder we are using to shred people who... who is that?!" "Hi..." I said nervously.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:TOTALLY NOT UNFINISHED U GUIZE
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
I used Chuck's Chicanery speech to get out of jury duty

Just got out of the courthouse right now and I couldn't be happier. I was rewatching Better Call Saul last night (as I have done every night since February 8, 2015) and during the masterpiece "Chicanery" I got an idea. When Chuck breaks down and delivers his glorious speech in the courtroom it took his credibility away immediately.
For several years now I have been slipping out of attending jury duty by ignoring the requests. But the requests keep coming, now with threats of consequences for ignoring them. It wasn't until I saw Chuck's speech for the 608th time that I realized I could use his exact words to never have to attend jury duty again.
I stayed up all night rewatching Chuck's scene over and over again. I didn't get any sleep because I knew it had to be perfect. I studied every facial expression and shift in his body language. By the next morning I felt like I was inside Chuck's body.
I happily went to court and when I was asked if there was any reason I was unfit for jury duty, I smiled and shouted, "I am not crazy!" The courtroom hushed in shock and I realized it was working. I continued with the speech, word by word just as I had rehearsed it.
By the time I shouted, "He defecated through a sunroof!" security was already rapidly approaching to drag me out of the courtroom. I couldn't let the court think I was faking so as I was being escorted out, I pulled away and ran into the center of the room to finish the speech.
"What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!" I shouted, frightening all those who bear witness. Only then did I storm out of the building. I think I was crying at this point but can't remember. It was all a blur at that point.
I nailed it. Security was so concerned about my well being that they followed me out of the building. I told them I had an aversion to electricity and begged them to leave me alone.
Thank you to Bravo Vince and Goulda Cheese for this genius inspiration. I don't think I would have ever gotten out of jury duty so fast if it weren't for them. Has anyone else tried this method? It works like a charm.
Once I get home I'm going to watch "Fly" from Breaking Bad 608 times to see if I can find inspiration to solve the insect problem in my house.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Memes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:TELAVISHUN
I used to love beans but now i hate beans

So yes i used to love beans because beans are very good so i went to my local ikea to pick up around 40-70 cans of beans that would last me for a day or two and then i decided to go home after i was done shopping for my beans.
When i got home i really wanted some beans so i opened one of the cans of beans and then instead of a can of normal beans it was a can of blood because you know blood in these story's just make it 10 times better don't it?.
Along with all the blood in the can i also realized there was a piece of folded paper floating on the blood and this was around the same time i vomited due to the blood in the can and after i was done vomiting i decided to pick up the piece of paper floating in the can of blood.
I then began to slightly open the piece of paper that was folded and when i got it all unfolded i began to try to read it even with it's blood red dye all over the piece of paper and my hands and it said Something in spanish.
"Esta historia es una broma si no sabías eso."
I'm pretty sure it said something like i'm going to kill you while you are eating beans or something of the lines of that and i was very scared so i decided to open another can of beans in hopes that it would not have blood in it but then.
I heard a knock at my door and i was not expecting anyone to come over that night so i became very scared so i walked extremely slow to the door scared to death and then i finally unlocked the door and opened it.
It was a cult of people from-
==Afghanistan==
that there were mad that there were getting jack flip flop from growing all these beans for us the greedy americans so there took me hostage and took everything i owned, all my money, my porn, my flat screen Tv.
After that there decided to let me go with my empty house with nothing in it.
So the the reason i wrote this story was to warn you that if you buy beans the people at Afghanistan will come to you're house and take everything you own....
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta
I walk in to speak to my wife

I go into the bedroom to speak with my wife, but when I enter all I see is a large cake sitting on my bed. "What is this doing here?" I muse when suddenly, out of the top of the cake pops my wife.
"Surprise!" She shouts, giggling. "Happy birthday!" I chuckle as I realize the trick she played. But then I pause.
It isn't my birthday. I look into my wife's eyes and realize it is not my wife. She is cake. Terrified I stumble to the door but as I grab the handle it comes off. The door is cake.
I turn around to face the frosted eldritch horror in the shape of my wife. She approaches me smiling and says softly
"It's okay sweetie. It's all going to be okay."
She grabs my arm and I stare in horror as it begins to crumble under her grip. As I look in appalled silence at the cake that I thought was my arm I try to scream.
All that comes out is cake.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:EVIL FOOD
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Shortpasta
I want Mario's cock

I am a 27-year-old heterosexual male. I want Mario's fat juicy cock so bad, every night I'm thinking of it. I can't do anything without the image of his 7 inch long cock dripping with cum appearing in my head. It's gotten so bad to where I've paid several artists to make custom scenes of me and Mario together. I understand this is a problem but I just can't help it, every time I think of it I need to immediately go masturbate. I've masturbated in my Ubers car before thinking about Mario's gigantic steamy dick. I've imagined having an threesome between me, Mario, and Luigi where I get pounded. I really want to stick his fat cock inside my ass. I don't know what to do how I can fix this.
It's time.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Mario
I want to dominate my boss (Copypasta)

I don't love him or anything. I wouldn't dare to kiss him because he fucking disgusts me.
He thinks he's so damn superior. The way he stands over me, how he speaks to me like I'm dumb. I'm not. I'm a capable woman... And I want to make him learn that.
Sometimes, when he acts in one of his usual ways and talks shit, I wish I could just stand up, take him into the bathroom and shove my panties in his mouth until he half-chokes on them. I want him to beg me, physically beg me with hands raised like a saint.
He'd be so beautiful below me, finally realising his true place. I doubt he's ever been treated this way by a woman before because he seems so used to controlling us, so it excites me to imagine how he'd react.
I bet that he'd love taking my cruelty, and he'd lap up harsh words with pretend struggle.
His mouth would look so fucking pretty gagged up. I'd tie his hands so he can stop tapping on my desk like I'm a child. I'd ride him again and again and again and spit his cum on his face. I want to make him afraid. I want him to cower over my presence, I want to bully him worse than he belittled me. I'm getting so horny to imagine his stomach sprawled out and shaking, hands tied in front, panties in his mouth, tears in his eyes and his ass sore from spanking it in all the rights spots. I'd introduce him to his prostate and lick him out like a woman. I want to humiliate him until he feels sorry and is ready to act like a grown up. Stupid boy.
When we're done he'll be thinking of it all week. He wouldn't be able to look at me. He'd know my power, and I'd know how much of a pathetic cuck he really is. 'll know, then. I taught that bastard a lesson.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
I was Idi Amin’s husband

Hello, my name is Booboo Baba Dada, and I was formerly in love with former president of Uganda: Idi Amin Dada. You all viewed him as a very terrible man, but from my experience, he had some charm. Let me tell you my story.
We would always cook each other dinner, watch movies and shows, fuck each other every night, which we will get to, don't worry, and also celebrate our birthdays. When I first met Idi, he told me that Floyd Money Mayweather was his favourite boxer and that he had big tittes. That turned me on.
I would end up talking to Amin through any source of communication that I could possibly find, and when I finally asked him out, shit was great. We got married, people were disgusted by it and were throwing objects at us, but due to his status as president, he threw those people into the lakes. I was satisfied.
When we rented a house, the first thing we did was touch each other. I touched Idi's big fat belly that looked like you could fit an entire family in, then I eventually sucked his big fat hyperrealistic ballsack. We ass fucked for hours and hours, until he got tired. Thankfully for me, I'm gay as fuck and won't need to worry about the consequences of pregnancy and child support, so I casually dodged that shit. Thank god.
Life was good. Idi stood up for me, took care of me, and did anything for me. It was only until a faithful day in 2003 where he and I lived in Saudi Arabia for some time where.. He died. I cried fountains of tears that day, and I didn't know how to continue after this. 
Which is why I came here to tell this story. Because as it turns out, Idi Amin isn't actually dead. We never had sex, we were never in a relationship, and we never had feelings for each other. You want to know the truth, my fellow readers? I actually dated the skeleton of Idi Amin Dada! That's right, a skeleton popped out and started dating me! Wooooooooo!
Category: Trollpasta
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Category:Shortpasta