Lyndon LaRouche

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Lyndon Hermyle LaRouche, Jr. (born September 8, 1922) is a world-renowned American physicist, economist, sociologist, and neo-Nazi pig-fucker! His best friend is Plato (though Plato frequently denies this charge). He is a favorite among people who do not think with their brains but instead with their kneecaps. His followers are variably called LaRouchies, or LaRouchites, or idiots, or retards.
== Platform ==
Lyndon LaRouche is head of the U*S*L*P* (United States LaRouche Party) and the N*C*L*C* (National Carcase of LaRouchean Commies), organizations dedicated to acting as vanguards of the Neo-Platonic Renaissance. Amongst his proposals are to:
* Rid America of the British Oligarcs (followers of that REPUGNANT SATANIST Aristotle and his EVIL cronies: Warlock Isaac "Fig" Newton (inventer of "gravity"), Bertrand Russell (little known British socialist who, with his friends, Wells and Crowley, want to create WAR, FAMINE, and introduce SEX EDUCATION into YOURE SCHOOLS!!!), "Mr. Crowley" (Promotes DRUGS, HOMOSEXUALITY, WITCHCRADFT, and Pokemon-actually he has a point there-), H. G. Wells (Peeping Tom-SEX fiend who inspired World Wars one and two, and possibly even the great war, and even foresaw the invention of bestiality in his book Island of Dr. Morreough), "The Old Hag" (whose sexual appetites for pre-pubescent boys is insatiable! She also initiates them to the dark-side of the force through her ultra-violent sci-fi), Epiceuras (You do not even want to know about this guy!), the "International Bankers" (all the other guys who are too numerous to mention, or care about for that matter), and their asssets: Britain, Chicken-hawks Ax wielding lesbians, "AIDS", "Witches", liberal-hippy counter-revolutionaries, who, through these pathetic creatures and nations, wish to SUBVERT AMERICA with an ORGY of empirical/existential/pragmatic WITCHCRAFT). 
LaRouche believes that all politicians are evil British puppets with a handful of exceptions.
* Do away with the stock market and return America to a commodity and labor-based "real" 
economy (since there have got to be some things left, and if not then we will simply create them!), and simultaneous government investment AND redistribution of wealth from and to capitalist industry so as to work on infrastructure and welfare projects, which is not Socialism, honest... (see below).
* Teach The Classics® (particularly Plato, Confucius, Leibniz, Fredrik Schiller, Dr. Seuss, and Oscar Wilde)-- a bold, patent-pending agenda that will ensure your children are just as bright as LaRouche Himself! 
* Ban pornographic, subversive, post-Wagnerian music, games, and clothing (makes people go nuts, see Dionysus, Elvis, the Beatles, and Charles Manson).
* Move to create fusion power, NOW! (initially using fission power as a start-up, anything that destroys our dependency upon the SADISTIC BITCH; GAIA!).
* A manned mission to Mars, NOW! (to replenish commodities and escape that EVIL WITCH Gaia!).
==Early Days==
Lynden LaRouche was born to a Quaker family (this may be a clue as to how he always knows the right things to do), he learned to read at age five and took the envy of his brutishly near-sighted classmates (“unwitting followers of David Hume”).
He became an ultra-cool draft dodger during WWII (which he subconsciously knew to be a British war all along).
LaRouche strongly supported the presidency Franklin Delano Roosevelt and frequently broke into the White House, stalked the president and repeatedly asked for an autograph until Roosevelt caved. Once during a 1944 campaign swing LaRouche stalked Roosevelt for 2,879 miles and it took Eleanor Roosevelt bitch-slapping him in Seattle too convince himself too go home and read Mein Kampf instead of stalking the president.
==Trotsky and the Communist Rebel==
After reading The Razors's Edge, he was compelled to travel India in search of mystical enlightenment. After consulting channeling Yogis, he eventually became a student of the late, great genius in exhile, Leon Trotsky (who LaRouche claimed was really Jesus in disguise). Through “Christ-Trotsky” he became Apostle "Lyn Marcus", and claimed Joseph Stalin to be Satan and the Communist Party to be the Whore of Babylon. Trotsky compelled Lyndon to become a Marxist-Leninist-Trotskyist, becoming a great force within the SWP, demonstrating an intellect matching that of Lenin himself, and then, eventually, surpassing that as well. 
During the 1960’s, LaRouche remained the only voice of reason, representing true socialism in contrast to the orgy ridden 1960's (who were themselves quite fond of him, and redily converted to reason based Judaio-Socialism).
==LaRouche: ‘’Not A Marxist’’==
In time, it became apparent to LaRouche’s research that the British where a major Bourgeoisie player, made evident through the brainwashing of LaRouche’s wife and his friend, Tim Wohlforth to run off together so as to plot an assassination attempt on him, which they fled to England to do. This would mark his permanent break from the SWP, and, in keeping with Trotsky’s philosophy of Permanent Factionalism, LaRouche created his own sub-school of Marxist-Socialist-Troskyism called Marxist-Lenninist-Trotskyist-LaRouchebag.
Later, on closer inspection, Trotsky was revealed to not be Christ afterall (LaRouche being too awed and bashful to ask) and that Karl Marx was not divine, but was merely the little twin-brother of Benjamin Franklin, (and not the brightest of the two either).
==Plato, Aristotle, and The British==
Through channeling the spirit of Benjamin Franklin, LaRouche was finally led to the ‘’Secrets Known Only to the Inner Elite’’, in which an age-old war has been raging between God and Satan through their respective prophets, Plato (AKA: Moses, AKA: Zoroaster) and Aristotle (The False Prophet). From what LaRouche’s research has yielded, Aristotle was a Satanist (Satanism being the worship of the imminent and finite, as opposed to the infinitely transcendent and objective), bent on starting his empiricist cult (consisting of Euclid, Isaac Newton (AKA: “Dr. Who”), Bertrand Russell, CNN’s ”Candy” Crowley, H. G. Wells, Orson Welles, Dr. Leo Strauss, and epitomized in Nietzsche and Ayn Rand and their bastard child Anton LaVey) to render the world’s population near-sighted and totally f’d up (see: Mental retardation and drug addiction). 
This is to set up the scenes for the Anti-Christ to come into the scene (Nero, Alexander the Great, Adolph Hitler in all his incarnations, Dick Cheney, Linda Blair, Old Mother Hubbard, the whole countries of Rome, Britain, Israel, and the U.N. in General, and the “The Red Dragon”
== Lyndon is Arrested Persecuted! ==
Contrary to what you may have heard, Lyndon LaRouche was framed. Many of the people voluntarily gave up their money because they where rightfully guilt-ridden after learning how their service-based professions will lead to economic horror in the loss of commodities and the creation of a subjective bubble economy (which is long overdue and will hit HARD when it finally does). Brainwashed plants where used to testify against Lyndon in court and the sentence was rigged, LaRouche went to prison where he converted the prisoners (including Jim Baker) into Platonic enlightenment, which exasperated his British-Israeli pervert holders, since this denied them their free porno and forced them to THINK (this is similar to what G. Gordon Liddy did to his captors as well, skillfully and smartly utilizing common points of contention amongst the general prison population to stage a coupe against the less-than-human oppressors). He heroically ran for president while in captivity.
==Lyndon is Released==
Lyndon LaRouche was rightfully released from prison in time for the 1994 elections where he was greeted by his happy and healthy volunteers in Virginia, who were ready to go into battle with the out-of-the-closet NEO-NAZI Al Gore and his plot to DESTROY Africa with giant magnifying glasses (as per his PERVERSE Sun-Worship CULT). At this time Lyn also flirted with the possibility of extraterrestrial influences and bio-duplication technology in NUDE SATANIC ORGY RITUALS, speculating that Gore, and all the other Post-Modern DEVIL WORSHIPERS were in actuality alien vampires from planet Arius.
Lyn would continue his cruesade against this VILE CREATURE and demanded that President Clinton know of and defeat the nefarious plots of Arian Vampire Al Gore (see: relevant news article from a reputable source).
During the present situation, LaRouche sees the American economy on it’s last legs (it’s base commodities having been used-up, stolen, neglected, or simply undiscovered) and that the prostitution-based illusion is close to losing it’s ability to sustain itself, leading to a depression, which, if the American people do not elect LaRouche, will force them into a feudalist dictatorship under the Anglo-Iraeli Synarchists.
He believes G. W. Bush to be the reincarnation of Howdy Doody and under the control of Nazi Dick Cheney.
== Just So You Are Not Confused: Enemies List ==
For the last time, we will remind you what LaRouche actually believes his friends and enemies are (given that his very concise and absolutely accessible statements do not seem to be clear enough for common minds).
=== Friends ===
*God/Jehovah/Original Jesus/Lyndon LaRouche (What can we possibly elaborate here? God is the source of all forms, memes, and archetypes of good, and Jesus is their physical incarnation!)
*Country (For Lyndon LaRouche, the sovereignty of the Nation State is extremely important, for it is the natural "Organic Unit" from which industry and culture arise, it is only through the Nation State, that Socialism can adequiutely arise, thus it is of the upmost importance that socialism, while remaining international in scope, should respect the sovereignty and personal needs of the nation state, thus, we ought to adopt a form of national-socialism to ensure progress for the human race).
*Classical Art (Sublime, complex, makes you think...)
*Plato/Moses/Zorroaster (It is Plato and his ideological kinsmen: Moses and Zoroaster, who are the true representatives of God).
*Benjiman Franklin (LaRouche, being a Quaker, has had a love of knowing the right things to do, he has thus imprinted with Franklin ever since)
*FDR (FDR is perhapse the only substance LaRouche is hooked on)
*Guy LeDouche
*Trotsky
*Marx
*LaGrange
=== Enemies ===
*Satan (LaRouche, being meak and timid, hates wild parties which include, violence, sex, and worst of all, loud music)
*Horus (Son of Satan, he is incarnated in the forms of Nero, Napoleon, Aleister Crowley, Adolf Hitler, and George W. Bush)
*Sex/Drugs/Rock and Roll (Those things that waken, indulge, and embolden the beast while offending and boring the mind) 
(this includes any music since 1600)
*Richard Wagner (Rock Star famous for wearing Nazi uniforms on stage)
*Friedrich Nietzche (Lucifer's Prophet. Friedrich Nietszche, along with his evil crony Charles Darwin, set about to single-handedly build Concentration camps to round up all the Christians)
*Ayn Rand (AKA: Jezebel, Evil demoness who molests children at night in their beds. Wife of Nietzche and co-founder of the Church of Satan with her son Anton LeVay)
*Aristotle (Lucifer's connection. Tought that empirical observation is the things in of themselves as opposed to mere representation, thus laying the groundworks for Satanists such as Nietzche and Rand to excuse themselves while perfoming black magick).
*Euclid (his Geometry is too stuffy, he thinks in terms of boxes, which Lyn has always felt superior to)
*Wesley Clarke
*Jimmy Carter
==Influences==
Lyndon LaRouche loves classical music (especially when he and his droogy tavorishchies are mopping-up the Stalinista blokes for some of the ol’ ultra-violence) and some-how uses it for divination (much of his economic formulae was obtained this way). He also enjoys reading Oscar Wilde (despite his eleged hatred for homosexuals, whom he stated as being inclined to child molestation and a national health risk en lieu of the AIDS epidemic, though, the truth is that “we are dealing with people here”). They talk quite a bit, and it is supposed that Oscar was the one who created the campaign slogan “Art THOU smart enough to elect a genius?”.
Though nobody wants to admit it, Lyndon LaRouche has had an unbelievable following, particularly in Russia, Mexico, Palestine and Iran. 
He has advised these countries and is the probably the sole reason why they are developing into the most fuel-efficient, technically skilled cultures on the planet, far surpassing that of present-day brainwashed Amerikkka! The massive influx of Indian outsourcing may be attributed to LaRouche’s advice to these countries.
Many Americans have also heeded to his timeless words, one such is the British David Icke (who secretly met with him after having his own supernatural encounters with Benjamin Franklin). Both are accused of such outrageous accusations as anti-semanticism (the Oligarchs do not want us to think that “International British Bankers” or “Reptilian Shysters” mean what they plainly mean). 
Though, the two do disagree on grounds of reason and ethics, they are still very close to identifying the grand conspiracy of the forms.
==See also==
*LaRouchies
*Ron Paul
*Grand Conspiracy
*Richard C. Hoagland
*Plato
*Jung
*Trotsky
*Socialism
*Jesus Marx
*Insanity
*My Head A Splode
==Sources==
*LaRouche's revelation of Trotsky's true nature through the channeling sessions of Indian holy man K. Gandhi
*Trotsky's revelation to LaRouche about the true nature or Karl Marx and his relation to Benjamin Franklin
*THE SECRET KNOWN TO THE INNER ELITES!
*References to Oscar Wilde
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