nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
What does the Canadian Military do?

Have you ever thought about the Canadian Military before? Probably not since it isn't that big or powerful (Sorry Canada). Last year I decided to move to Canada, but when I was nearing the border I realized that I had forgotten my passport. I decided to try and get into Canada anyway, since the Canadians were known for their hospitality, but I wish I had just turned back. When I got to the border security area I decided to ask the border guard if I could just cross the border since I was no threat to Canada, surprisingly they did let me come in, but when I got about a mile into Canada I saw that there was a tank with a Canadian flag on the sides, I just ignored it but when I looked back I saw that there were five soldiers which were next to the Canadian tank. I decided to move on but then the Canadian solider fired maple syrup at me and covered my windshield with sweet Canadian goodness, I decided to stop the car when suddenly the five soldiers started firing at my wheels. One of the soldiers came to me and said, "It's aboot time that you got your justice, eh.", I was terrified since I thought they were going to shoot me, but then suddenly, he covered me in maple syrup and froze me in my seat and I was trapped in my seat, for the rest of my days, eh.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
What happened to me last night

Last night, i couldn't sleep, so i tumbled around in bed. I laid on my side and opened my ayes and saw a scary Jeff The Killer! I didn't think anything of it, so i got up out of bed to go to the bathroom and get a drink of water. B 4 i left, i herd a scratching sound from the other side of the door.
"Its just the cat" i said.
Than i opened the door and nobody was their! Than i remembered i don't even have a dog! Again, i thought nothing of it. I walked down the hall way and a spooky zombie jumped out of the closet and said "boo". I cried a little and than kept going. I got 2 the bathroom and peed. I went 2 wash my hands (because i'm not nasty). I looked in the mirror at myself.
"Wait a minute," i said.
I looked back up at the mirror and their was nobody their! (i should of mentioned b 4 that the 1st thyme i looked at the mirror a spooky dead ghost was hangning by a nuse behind me) Than i started going 2 the kitchen 4 some water. I walked through the living room. I looked out the window and saw a alien space ship landing in my back yard. I turned around and a skeleton was standing behind me!
He said "booga booga booga!"
I peed again and jumped back with startle and than i calmed down and kept going 2 the kitchen. I turned on the faucet butt it was blood! I set the faucet to the cold setting and it was water again. I drank some of it and turned around and i looked at the floor butt their was a snake on the floor! I screamed an walked out of the kitchen. When i got out i saw a person sitting in my chair. I turned the light on and it was a person!
He said "remeber that space ship? That was an ilumniminatey space ship!"
I said "i don't believe u."
he says "o yeah?" and makes a triangle with his hands.
I gasped and said "your write!!"
Than he took of his mask and he was actually the snake that was on my kitchen floor!!!!!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Beings
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
What if

Everyone has those speculations and doubts that we ocassionally have those what if questions. For example, some people think "What if I die today? Who would attend my funeral?" Sometimes a suicidal person thinks that. Sometimes an expectant parent would think "What if theres a complication? What if the mother doesn't survive? What if the baby doesn't survive? What if there is more than one baby". Not all are bad though some are just common or humurous.
For example, what if a monkey were to jump through my window right now what would I do? Or what if the weather were to change drastically? Now that we are through with this introduction what if we aren't truly correct about our religion? What if Charles Darwin is correct? But what if he is wrong, what if what we think are gods are actually sentient biengs from another dimension or planet? What if those people you see on the sidewalk that say the aliens are here or say they saw their ship seem to disappear? What if our gods are actually those extraterrestrials.
There seems to be a common religious belief with the sky that when Jesus was baptised the Holy Spirit flew over heads of those that were gathered, and that the Gods of Greek mythology resided in the sky atop a mountain. two religions that are both famous and vastly different. What if the select few people; Jesus, Perseus, Moses, Noah, Hercules, Achilies, Samson and Jason. All these people are in debate if they existed but what we do know through the stories that we read and hear. Even with real life examples such as Joan of Arc, Leonardo Da'vinci and many others who all had incredible knowledge that at the time was, and still is, incredible. Maybe from contact with otherwordly beings they gained the knowledge and inspiration for incredible feats.
What if the crazy people now are the seers of the future? What what if we are just an experiment created just to entertain or what if we are just a pet being observed by much greater beings that are superior but remain hidden? Almost like animals in a cage they watch us with monitors that remain unseen what if they were to get bored? The Mayans disappeared shortly after their calender was created. What if the beings were angry at them for showing their plans? What if this whole planet is a time delay creation, set to destroy itself for entertainment like a bottle rocket? What if thats the same for the whole universe?
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:THERY
Category:Beings
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Old Shit
What if You Just Picked Him?

You were walking up the street. You see a man, in his 40's or so. He asks for a penny. You ignore him, walking away. You walk home.
On the news, you see a man. About his 40's, He has gone on a rampage.
You just ignore it.
You hear someone knocking at the door. You put your coffee down. You open the door.
It's the man. You run, tripping over your coffee. It spills on you making a huge burn.
You hide in the bathroom. No place to go now. He sneaks in when your back was turned.
He takes a knife, skinning at your skin. He stabs you in the back and you fall to the floor.
He swings at your face, but misses. It cuts your ear.
He pins you down with a smirk on his face.
He starts jacking at your shoulder.
You throw him out into the hallway. You get your phone, and call the police. They say it's gonna be at a least 20 minute ride.
You hold him back, then throw him against the wall.
You push him out the door. The cops have arrived. You shout and stare, and suddenly get into action.
They take him away. As they stuff him into the car, he yells:
"I'll get you, reader!"
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
What is a badass? (Copypasta)

Depends how you define bad ass. Now let's use John Wick as an example because they're are a very few people who would say John Wick isn't bad ass. What you have is an individual so extradiobarily skilled at killing people he has in essence become a human weapon. People find his ability to take out multiple targets with the odds seemingly against him to be bad ass.
That said bad ass had seemingly nothing to do with actually being a good person or even doing something that actually makes the world a better place. It is sheerly doing something extremely dangerous and succeeding most often associated with highly skilled killers. Humanity craves blood.....
That said in sharp contrast to your stated this sub praises mostly bad assery. The sheer number of memes about Rome surviving the second Punic wars, Aurelian reunifying the empire, Julius Caesar destroying numerically superior foes, and virtually every other meme about Romans winning war is in clear line about bad ass worshipery even if this specific meme isn't about bad asses. Since the crusader didn't do anything extradionarily dangerous nor had the odds stacked by basically cutting down only women and children.
A real question and criticism you could apply to this sub and humanity in general is what is with our over all love of violence. After all the idea of a bad ass can not exist in state of peace in which there is no struggle and conflict. In order to become a bad ass there has to be violence.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
What the FUCK was That?

It was a spooky night on a Friday. The time was Eight O' Clock PM and I was lying in bed. There was a bad storm outside. I heard trees swaying and the sound of a bear roaring. It was scary, but I stayed calm cause I was in my house.
After an hour and a half later, I heard a tree fall in the woods. It gave me the chills for sure. I stayed calm and stayed in my bed. I was safe in my bed.
I then heard banging from my closet. At first I thought it was my cat, but then I remembered my cat had died from a heart attack after seeing something spooky two days ago.
It was October first when I opened my closet door to see what was going on. When I opened the door the lights in my room went out. It was scary, but I stayed calm. I opened the door and said, "Hello?"
I then felt something grab my ass cheek. I spun around exclaiming, "What the FUCK was that?!?!?"
I heard my parents door open and I knew I was in trouble. (even though I'm 21, I'm not allowed to swear.")
My Dad came in, except it wasn't my Dad. It was a skeleton. He looked at me while his form morphed into a fat guy. I was scared, but not scared enough to scream. I then heard a whisper in my ear which said, "Gonna give you the goofballs."
My ass cheek was grabbed again, and the fat skeleton thing smiled. They did this for hours. Then the fat one walked to me and asked if I liked the goofballs. He then stomped me to death.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Skeletons
Category:Im died
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
What the Hell Is Cellulose Derivative J?

I work at a chemical plant where we make chemicals and shit, or something. Some of the chemicals we use are dangerous and we have to be careful when we work with them. Yesterday, me and Jonesy (we call him Slow-Nose Jones for who knows why the fuck) were working with some of the chemicals when I accidentally spilled some of them on Jonesy.
"Ahh, damn," he said. "Hey Robbie, do me a favor and grab a few chemical wipes." He was talking to me. My name's Robbie. They usually call me "Giga-Dick Roberto," though, and I'll let you figure out why. ;)
I got some chemical wipes when suddenly the horror of the situation struck me. The chemical I spilled on him was Cellulose Derivative J. It was a known carcino-terato-zombification-ogen, according to the voices in my head. Welp, guess that was it for Jonesy.
I picked up a flamethrower that was next to the chemical wipes. "For emergencies only," the sign said. The sign that was next to it, I mean. Imma be straight with you, I'm still not 100% sure if that sign was referring to the flamethrower or the chemical wipes.
I returned to Jonesy bearing the apparatus of his demise, hoping it was fueled up and ready to go. Damn it, I don't remember whose turn it was to check the fuel levels last week... I hope it wasn't supposed to be me...
"Robbie - what the fuck?! Where did you get a flamethrower?!" yelled Jonesy. "I said 'chemical wipes,' right? Jeez, I'll get them myself-"
"NOT SO FAST, SATAN SPAWN" I shrieked in a vengeful fury at the monster Jonesy had become. "THE DEVIL'S LIQUOR SHALL CONSUME YOU NO MORE!"
"The devil's - what the fuck? You mean this cellulose shit?" pleaded Jonesy desperately, as though mercy would somehow visit him. "Robbie, it's just paper pulp shit. Check the MSDS, it's literally ten feet from where we are now-"
I silenced him forever by making him scream as I turned on the flamethrower. Then I burned down the rest of the factory just to be safe. Spooks would haunt those grounds no more! YAAAYYYYY!!!!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
What the hell

well one day i whent to my room and saw my dog smlieing at me and she took a s hit on my  bed i was pissed off all day then i sleted in the spare room . then i herd screaming i got out i saw my dog with blood on her eyes i went to my room and saw 2 dead dogs i was about to abuse the shit out of my dog . untill she ran outside and hit by a car .
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Animulz
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Wall of Text
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Old Shit
What the military built can change the world

I was a student at the Minerological Scientific Aero Institute of Science when Bob Laser worked at Area 53. He arranged for me to attend one of his secret UFO seshes. This was on the "Sports Model" craft.
It was cool and shit. It's an alien UFO, after all. But I found the endless study backbreaking, so I got bored. This is when it gets interesting. I went for a walk around the Area and found a deplakticanted building. I look through the only window (it was dirty, so dirty) and saw them building war ducks.
I screamed in my own ear "DUCK!" And I yeeted out of there immediately. I later went on to form a paramilitary organisation featuring realistic ducks.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
What to do if someone calls you a potato

Possibly it's an insult and likely it means that the insulter thinks you are bland, lazy, bottom-heavy and and that you watch a lot of TV and maybe not very attractive. I am guessing it's shorthand for "couch potato" but if so, it might be coming from a very nasty rude person or maybe a doctor that wants you to exercise more.
On the other hand, potatoes as vegetables are also versatile, almost universally loved whether fried, baked, mashed, hashed, paired with cheese, etc. So, "context is king" and you may have to see how the word was used about you.
If you can't figure it out, then you can simply ask, "Hey, why would you say that?" (So in the end, It could be pretty rude or maybe a compliment.) (Or if you really suspect that it's an insult, then you can just move on and say, "Thanks for your opinion, but I have something important to take care of.")
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Copypasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Shortpasta
What you shouldn't say into Siri

You know what Siri is, right? That thing where, if you hold the button on an Apple device and speak into the microphone, it will say something based on what you say to it? Well, there is something that you should never say into Siri! Just saying it once is fine, but try saying it for an hour straight and then saying it in reverse once. Wanna know what it is? You may have heard of the Konami Code.
It originally was meant for Contra to get extra lives, but has become part of pop culture since then. The code goes like this: Up Up, Down Down, Left Right Left Right, B, A
Saying it once into Siri will get you the following responses:
Cheater.
Nerd.
I’m getting dizzy…
If you say it for an hour straight and then say it in reverse once, you will immediately regret it. However, if you type it, then nothing happens. Anyway, let’s cut to the chase.
Since I found it on the internet and people tried it, I decided to do it myself. Here is how it went down (Warning: It will get very messy! Do not read unless you either don’t care or you are mentally tough.):
Me: Hey Siri Siri: Hello. Me: [Konami Code recited for an hour] A, B, Right Left Right Left, Down Down, Up Up
After that, the scariest thing happened! Siri’s voice became demonic as soon as I finished reciting that! She said this:
“You have brought doomsday upon yourself, you fool! Do you realize what you have done!?! Have you not learned from previous victims!?!”
It then showed a bunch of people and what happened to them. One was burned, four were murdered, five drowned, ten died of cancer, and the last twelve went missing. It even showed their bodies and how they were when they died. She then said this to me after I saw who fell victim:
“You have three days until your undetermined fate befalls you. Remember this: you have brought this upon yourself…not me…”
After Siri finished, it closed out. To my shock, all of my apps were deleted, all of my contacts, my photos, and my internet history! This sent me into a panic. My parents won’t be home for a week and I only have three days to live!
To those who have read through this, please heed my warning. Do not, I repeat, not recite the code like I did! You will regret it! As for me, I will keep a journal on my three days and let you know if I feel any different from today. Please, for your own sake, do not make the mistake I, and many others, have made.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:English Class Failure
Category:TOTALLY NOT UNFINISHED U GUIZE
Whatever happens at Disney World stays at Disney World

I tried to salvage my marriage by going to a therapist who encouraged me to back to Disney World to try to face my fears.
I first did online research and read that Disney fixed their bussing issues they had with the magical express and there are no longer long lines and the need to bribe bus drivers in order to get a seat on the bus.
So I flew back to Disney along with my wife and our two kids.
We got off the plane and headed for the magical express bus service to take us to our Disney hotel.
As I approached, the area to the magical express, right away I knew something was off.
Because once again I saw that there was a large crowd of people waiting to get onto the magical express, however this time they were all men.
I really wanted to turn around and get back on the plane but I really wanted to save my marriage and not disappoint my kids.
As the bus pulled in, I got a sense of absolute terror as I saw Manny was the bus driver.
The only thing I had going for me was that this time, I had brought lots of cash with me.
As Manny got off the bus all I can hear are the droves of men yell out "oi oi - overhear" or "come on mate, I have no money let me on the bus" or "mate, I'll do anything to get on the bus!" The odd part was that all of the foreign men were dressed liked they had money but they were all intentionally giving the impression to Manny that they had no money, so they could have a seat on the bus for an exchange in services.
Manny wasn't interested in the other men because they seemed way to willing to give up their manhood to the point where I heard Manny say "No more Bob! I can barely sit and drive the bus!"
I reluctantly held up my money and Manny seemed to find me with no problem.
As he approached me, I started to quiver in fear as he whispered in my ear in a Spanish accent "you want ride? You sit on my lap as I drive the bus!"
My mouth dropped to the floor as he said that.
I looked over at my kids who were eager to get to Disney World and I said "Honey give me your phone!" To ensure that my wife wouldn't film me.
Manny gave me a pair of really short jeans and a crop-top that he made me change into before I could get onto the bus.
Then the bus boarded and Manny slapped his own lap to signal for me to sit down on it.
As Manny started to whisper things in my ear like "watch out for the bumps" or "slide up a little more" I couldn't help but cry as my kids looked at me in a shameful way.
I looked around the bus to try to gain sympathy but all I was met with was jealous eyes and by all the men on the bus who first sang True Blue by John Williamson and then Down Under by the Men At Work.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Wheel of Fortune Lost Episode

I worked as a janitor at an elementary school. Once upon a time after cleaning up some kiddie vomit, I found a VHS tape underneath the lunch table. 'The Lost Episode of Wheel of Fortune', it said. I was so excited that I quit my job and went home and popped the VHS tape into my VHS player.
"I would like to buy a person, Pat."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Slavery ended years ago. Please spin again."
The pin landed on 'bankrupt'. Just then, the lady contestant turned into a prostitute and had lines of cocaine all over her backside.
"That means morally bankrupt!"
I ripped out the VHS tape and set it on fire. To this day, I cannot watch TV without wondering why I quit my awesome janitor job.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Shortpasta
When A Man's Gotta Go

Peter was a very tired young man. He had just scarfed down a beef and bean burrito from the local gas station, and his stomach was telling him to never do it again. "Fine," he said to himself, "At least not until tomorrow." He continued playing his MMORPG game, and marveled at how many more experience points he would need to buy a new ship.
Suddenly, his intestines had decided that they couldn't take the pressure anymore. He ran to the bathroom, flipped up the toilet seat, and sat down. Little did he know that this would be the last shit he would ever take. Oh.
Instead of taking a normal shit, he felt an increasingly sharp pain in his stomach as if an alien was going to POPout. He screamed for help, but he lived alone and never had any friends he could even call. Suddenly... it burst. Highly realistic gore flew everywhere, and his skeleton popped out of his skin, flying into the air like a rocket model blasted at a junior high school science fair. His skin was left behind like a humancrab's fleshy shell.
The end.
Category:Videos
Category:Potty Humor
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:YT Readings
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta