Canada Moist Talkers/Beta

The Canada Moist Talkers (formerly the Topeka Moist Talkers) are a Blaseball team that debuted in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League. After the High Filter decree passed in the election following Season 5, they were placed into the Mild High division of The Mild League, later moving to the Mild Low division after the Season 10 election. They have been a member of Internet League Blaseball since Season D when they, then named the Topeka Moist Talkers, joined as an incineration replacement for the Canada Artists.
==Roster==
Select Tlopps cards can be found here
==Former Players==
===Incinerations===
*Trevino Merritt (Season 2, Day 72; replaced by Simon Haley)
*Kennedy Alstott (Season 3, Day 19; replaced by Lachlan Shelton)
*Tyler Violet (Season 3, Day 44; replaced by Ziwa Mueller)
*Elijah Bates (Season 7, Day 32; replaced by Kiki Familia)
*Kiki Familia (Season 7, Day 33; replaced by Quack Enjoyable)
*Antonio Wallace (Season 7, Day 33; replaced by Beans McBlase)
*Workman Gloom (Season 7, Day 81; replaced by Commissioner Vapor)
*York Silk (Season 14, Day 87; replaced by Lucien Patchwork)
===Feedback Swaps===
*Joe Voorhees (Season 4, Day 28; replaced by Workman Gloom)
*Richmond Harrison (Season 6, Day 19; replaced by Fish Summer)
*Lachlan Shelton (Season 6, Day 23; replaced by Antonio Wallace)
*Hobbs Cain (Season 6, Day 82; replaced by Alston Cerveza)
*Quack Enjoyable (Season 8, Day 42; replaced by Cedric Spliff)
*Eugenia Garbage (Season 8, Day 44; replaced by Lachlan Shelton)
*Simon Haley (Season 8, Day 44; replaced by Eugenia Garbage)
*Ortiz Morse (Season 9, Day 53; replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers)
*Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season 9, Day 64; replaced by Beasley Gloom)
*Doc Anice (Season 13, Day 41; replaced by Bright Zimmerman)
*Greer Lott (Season 20, Day 92; replaced by Jacoby Podcast)
===Blessings and Trades===
*Oliver Notarobot (Season 2, via the Defection blessing; replaced by PolkaDot Patterson)
*Polkadot Patterson (Season 12, via the Plunder will; replaced by Doc Anice)
*Shirai McElroy (Season 13, via the Plunder will; replaced by PolkaDot Patterson)
*Bright Zimmerman (Season 14, via the Revoke will; no replacement)
*PolkaDot Patterson (Season 15, via the Plunder will; replaced by Sixpack Dogwalker)
*Fish Summer (Season 15, via the Plunder will; replaced by York Silk)
*Alston Cerveza (Season 16, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Richmond Harrison)
*York Silk (Season 16, via the Plunder will; replaced by Carmelo Plums)
*Carmelo Plums (Season 17, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Goobie Ballson)
*Richmond Harrison (Season 18, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Randy Dennis)
*Goobie Ballson (Season 19, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Cudi Di Batterino)
*Beans McBlase (Season 20, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Greer Lott)
*Commissioner Vapor (Season 20, via the Fringe Benefit blessing; no replacement)
*Augusto Reddick (Season 21, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by PolkaDot Patterson)
*Lachlan Shelton (Season 21, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Nicholas Mora)
*Cudi Di Batterino (Season 21, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Freemium Seraph)
*Nicholas Mora (Season 21, via the Recruit Ego blessing; no replacement)
*Randy Dennis (Season 22, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Slosh Truk)
*Tucker Flores (Season 22, via the Gachapon blessing; no replacement)
*Ziwa Mueller (Season 22, via the Little Swap blessing; replaced by Tiana Wheeler)
*Rosstin Andante (Season 23, via the Gachapon blessing; no replacement)
===Roamin'===
*Jesús Koch (roamed to the Philly Pies, Season 20 Day 9, due to Super Roamin' Fifth Base)
*Jesús Koch (roamed to the Yellowstone Magic, Season 20 Day 27, due to Super Roamin' Fifth Base)
*Mags Banananana (roamed to the Hades Tigers, Season 23 elections)
*Alejandro Leaf (roamed to the Hawai'i Fridays, Season 23 elections)
===Faded into Dust===
*York Silk III (Season 18 elections)
*Chorby Soul VI (Season 20 elections)
*Liquid Friend XII (Season 22 elections)
*Uncle Plasma XII (Season 23 elections)
==Season Results==
===The Discipline Era (Seasons 1 to 11)===
Discipline Era 	Discipline Era	Discipline Era	Discipline Era 	Discipline Era
Season 	Wins 	Record 	Postseason 	Season Summary
1 - The Return 	50 	50-49 	Did not qualify.	
*Did not receive any blessings in the election.
2 - The Discipline Era 	55 	55-44 	Quarterfinalists
L 0-3 vs. Philly Pies	
*The Moist Talkers won the Defection blessing with 3% of the vote, stealing PolkaDot Patterson from the Baltimore Crabs, and sending back Oliver Notarobot.
3 - Peanut Plague/Uncertainty	53 	53-46 	Quarterfinalists
L 2-3 vs. Philly Pies	
*Did not receive any blessings in the election.
4 - Feedback 	53 	53-46 	Quarterfinalists
L 2-3 vs. Hades Tigers	
*As a result of the Alternate Reality decree, Moist Talkers batter Jesús Koch and pitcher Jenkins Good had their alternates called, resulting in a reroll of their stats.
*The Moist Talkers won the Questioning Their Every Decision blessing with 8% of the vote, impairing the vibes of the Houston Spies, Miami Dale, Seattle Garages, and Breckenridge Jazz Hands by 7%.
5 - Reverb 	55 	55-44 	Semifinalists
W 3-1 vs. Baltimore Crabs
L 2-3 vs. Breckenridge Jazz Hands	
*As a result of the High Filter decree, the Moist Talkers were moved into the new Mild High division.
*The Moist Talkers won the Flame-Resistant Foam blessing with 8% of the vote, making them immune to incineration for Season 6.
6 - Idols 	48 	48-51 	Did not qualify.	
*Did not receive any blessings in the election.
7 - Getting Shelled 	42 	42-57 	Did not qualify.	
*The Moist Talkers won the Scorpler's Jacket blessing with 3% of the vote, granting Jesús Koch Mclaughlin Scorpler's Memorial Fireproof Jacket, and making them immune to incineration.
8 - Rest in Violence 	48 	48-51 	Did not qualify.	
*The Moist Talkers won the Barrel of Tiny Eggs blessing with 16% of the vote, granting all fans of the Canada Moist Talkers 10000 peanuts.
9 - Forecast 	50 	50-49 	Did not qualify.	
*Due to the Season 9 Forecast Decrees, Beans McBlase gained , Jenkins Good gained , and Fish Summer gained modifications.
*The Moist Talkers won the Eat me, Drink me blessing with 2% of the vote, boosting Beans McBlase's Power and Max Vibes, but decreasing their Baserunning.
*The Moist Talkers also won the Tag Team Hitting blessing with 7% of the vote, boosting the hitting of the Moist Talkers and the Unlimited Tacos by 10%.
*Third, the Moist Talkers won the Boatload of Tiny Eggs blessing with 45% of the vote, granting all fans of the Canada Moist Talkers 10000 peanuts.
*Lastly, the Moist Talkers won the Fishing Net blessing with 9% of the vote, maxing out the defensive stats of Cedric Spliff.
*As a result of the Crabs winning the Fifth Base Bubble blessing, Fifth Base was inflicted on the Moist Talkers for Season 10.
*As a result of the Flowers winning the The Shame Bubble blessing, Targeted Shame was inflicted on the Moist Talkers for Season 10.
10 - Backdraft 	67 	67-32 	Quarterfinalists
L 1-3 vs. New York Millennials	
*As a result of the Shelled One's defeat on Day X, York Silk fell to the Moist Talkers as a lineup player.
*The Moist Talkers won the Divisional Swap blessing with 38% of the vote, swapping divisions into Mild Low, and sending the Philly Pies into Mild High.
11 - Peace & Prosperity 	65 	65-39 	Quarterfinalists
L 1-3 vs. Yellowstone Magic	
*The Moist Talkers won the V blessing with 51% of the vote, granting them V The Hierophant as their Tarot Card.
===The Expansion Era (Seasons 12 to 24)===
Expansion Era 	Expansion Era 	Expansion Era 	Expansion Era 	Expansion Era
Season 	Wins 	Record 	Postseason 	Season Summary
12 - The Expansion Era 	55 	55-44 	Did not qualify.	
*The Moist Talkers received the Trust will with a 1% chance, granting PolkaDot Patterson the modification.
*The Moist Talkers also received the Infuse will with a 43% chance, granting Greer Lott a stat increase from combined stars.
*The Moist Talkers won the Earlbirds blessing with 2% of the vote, giving the team the modification for Season 13's Earlseason.
*The Moist Talkers also won the Tag Team Hitting blessing with 4% of the vote, boosting the hitting of the Moist Talkers and the Ohio Worms by 10%.
13 - Home Free 	57 	57-42 	Quarterfinalists
L 2-3 vs. Hawai'i Fridays	
*The Moist Talkers received the Foreshadow will with a 26% chance, shadowing Mooney Doctor in exchange for Shirai McElroy.
*The Moist Talkers also received the Plunder will with a 6% chance, targeting PolkaDot Patterson in exchange for the freshly-unshadowed Shirai McElroy.
*The Moist Talkers won the High Pressure blessing with 25% of the vote, granting the team the modification.
14 - The -ides 	68 	68-31 	ILB Champions
W 3-0 vs. Baltimore Crabs
W 3-2 vs. Yellowstone Magic
W 3-0 vs. LA Unlimited Tacos	
*The Moist Talkers received the Infuse will with a 5% chance, granting Lucien Patchwork a stat increase from combined stars.
*The Moist Talkers also received the Revoke will with a 38% chance, revoking Bright Zimmerman, who then roamed to the Charleston Shoe Thieves.
*The Moist Talkers won the Headliners blessing with 7% of the vote, sorting their lineup by Idolatry.
15 - Live Bait 	62 	62-37 	ILB Champions
W 3-1 vs. New York Millennials
W 3-1 vs. Baltimore Crabs
W 3-1 vs. Mexico City Wild Wings	
*As a result of the Bats decree, all players on the Moist Talkers' active roster received a Bat item.
*The Moist Talkers received the Transfuse will with a 4% chance, granting Greer Lott a pitching stat increase of while giving them a batting star decrease of .
*The Moist Talkers also received the Plunder will with an 11% chance, targeting York Silk in exchange for Fish Summer.
*As a result of the Steaks' Plunder will, Sixpack Dogwalker was traded to the Moist Talkers for PolkaDot Patterson.
*The Moist Talkers won the Water Logged blessing with 43% of the vote, granting the team the blood type.
16 - Mass Production 	64 	64-35 	Quarterfinalists
L 2-3 vs. Core Mechanics	
*The Moist Talkers received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 13% chance, trading Alston Cerveza for Richmond Harrison of the Hellmouth Sunbeams.
*The Moist Talkers also received the Foreshadow will with a 36% chance, shadowing Sixpack Dogwalker in exchange for Augusto Reddick.
*As a result of the Garages' Plunder will, Carmelo Plums was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for York Silk.
17 - Collections 	54 	54-45 	Did not qualify.	
*The Moist Talkers received the Move will with a 12% chance, moving Carmelo Plums from the lineup to the rotation.
*The Moist Talkers also received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 1% chance, trading Carmelo Plums for Goobie Ballson of the Chicago Firefighters.
*The Moist Talkers won the Necklace Supply Run blessing with 6% of the vote, granting all players on the Moist Talkers' active roster with an available item slot a Necklace.
*The Moist Talkers also won the Handcrafted Necklace Drop blessing, granting Commissioner Vapor a Head Necklace item after dropping their Chunky Bat.
18 - New Editions 	42 	42-57 	Did not qualify.	
*The Moist Talkers received the Alternate Trust will with a 2% chance, calling in an alternate for Greer Lott, who gained both the and modifications.
*The Moist Talkers also received the Shadow Infuse will with a 22% chance, granting London Simmons a batting stat increase of .
*As a result of the Dale's Equivalent Exchange will, Randy Dennis was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for Richmond Harrison.
*The Moist Talkers won the Slow Build blessing with 23% of the vote, granting all lineup players the modification.
*The Moist Talkers also won the Open Floor Plan blessing with 17% of the vote, granting Gleek Arena the modification.
19 - Undertow 	-58 	58-41 	Did not qualify.	
*For finishing in the last four teams in the league, the Moist Talkers became a recipient of .
*The Moist Talkers received the Alternate Trust will with a 6% chance, calling in an alternate for Amos Melon, who gained both the and modifications.
*The Moist Talkers also received the Shadow Infuse will with a 31% chance, granting London Simmons a batting stat increase of .
*Finally, the Moist Talkers received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 1% chance, trading Goobie Ballson for Cudi Di Batterino of the Tokyo Lift.
*The Moist Talkers won the Super Roamin' Fifth Base blessing with 4% of the vote, granting Jesús Koch The Fifth Base after dropping their Necklace.
*The Moist Talkers also won the Shadow Helmet Supply Run blessing with 21% of the vote, granting all players in the Moist Talkers' shadows with an available item slot a Helmet.
*Third, the Moist Talkers won the Headliners blessing with 69% of the vote, sorting their lineup by Idolatry.
*Lastly, the Moist Talkers won the Moderation blessing, granting the team the modification.
*As a result of the Worms winning the Subtractor blessing, Cedric Spliff was given the modification.
20 - Win(Win) 	40 	40-59 	Underbracket Quarterfinals
L 2-3 vs. San Francisco Lovers	
*The Moist Talkers received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 2% chance, trading Beans McBlase for Greer Lott of the Philly Pies.
*The Moist Talkers also received the Reform will with a 9% chance, reforming Cedric Spliff's modification into .
*As a result of the Spies winning the Fringe Benefit blessing, Commissioner Vapor was sent to the Spies with no replacement.
21 - Red Herring 	67 	57-42 	Wildcard
Underbracket Finalists
W 4-1 vs. Seattle Garages
W 3-2 vs. Kansas City Breath Mints
L 0-3 vs. Hellmouth Sunbeams	
*The Moist Talkers received the Magnify will with an 18% chance, granting Ziwa Mueller the modification.
*The Moist Talkers also received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 4% chance, trading Lachlan Shelton for Nicholas Mora of the Hades Tigers.
*As a result of the Mechanics's Equivalent Exchange will, PolkaDot Patterson was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for Augusto Reddick.
*As a result of the Lift's Equivalent Exchange will, Freemium Seraph was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for Cudi Di Batterino.
*The Moist Talkers won the Shadow Evolution blessing with 8% of the vote, Evolving the entirety of the Moist Talkers' shadows to .
*As a result of the Fridays winning the Recruit Ego blessing, Nicholas Mora was sent to the Fridays with no replacement.
22 - Overdue 	41 	41-58 	Wildcard Round
L 2-3 vs. Philly Pies	
*The Moist Talkers received the Move will with a 19% chance, moving Greer Lott from the lineup to the rotation.
*The Moist Talkers also received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 1% chance, trading Randy Dennis for Slosh Truk of the Atlantis Georgias.
*As a result of the Lift's Shadow Revoke will, Mags Banananana Roamed to the Moist Talkers' rotation.
*The Moist Talkers won the Heads over Tails blessing with 0% of the vote, granting Ziwa Mueller the modification.
*As a result of the Magic winning the Little Swap blessing, Tiana Wheeler was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for Ziwa Mueller.
*As a result of the Fridays winning the Subtractor Avoidance blessing, Lucien Patchwork was given the modification.
*As a result of the Worms winning the Record Scratch blessing, Slosh Truk was given the modification.
*As a result of the Garages winning the Gachapon blessing, Tucker Flores was sent to the Garages' shadows with no replacement.
*Alejandro Leaf Roamed out of the Hall of Flame to the Moist Talkers' rotation.
23 - A Set Up 	61 	61-38 	ILB Champions
W 3-1 vs. New York Millennials
W 4-1 vs. Seattle Garages
W 3-2 vs. Ohio Worms	
*During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Slosh Truk, PolkaDot Patterson, Tiana Wheeler, and Eugenia Garbage were all sent to play for the Rising Stars. After the game, all four players fell back to the Moist Talkers, with Truk and Garbage joining the rotation, Patterson rejoining the lineup, and Wheeler reentering the shadows.
*The Moist Talkers voted to receive the Team Roamless Crate Party Favor, granting the team the modification.
*As a result of the Reader declaring a 'scoring play', the team was granted the modification.
*As a result of claiming their third championship, the Moist Talkers Evolved and gained the modification.
*As a result of the Tacos winning the Gachapon blessing, Rosstin Andante was sent to the Tacos' shadows with no replacement.
*Both Mags Banananana and Alejandro Leaf Roamed away from the team, Roaming to the Tigers and Fridays respectively.
24 - Fire Sale/Save Situation	Did not finish.	Did not finish.	Did not finish. 	
*The Moist Talkers were nullified by Black Hole (Black Hole) on Day 99.
==Team Overview==
For a more in-depth look at the team, see Canada Moist Talkers/History
The Moist Talker's home stadium is Gleek Arena in the sunken city of Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. Outside of Canada, this team is widely known by their nickname "The Towelettes."
The mouth in the Moist Talkers logo is modeled after Tom DeLonge, noted musician, Canadian, and UFO Researcher.
As a rite of passage for new players, and also to encourage camaraderie with the Charleston Shoe Thieves, new players are taken out shopping to buy several pairs of cool shoes. Players can expect their shoes to first get stolen by Beasley Gloom, and then when they eventually pass onto the Shoe Thieves, they can often find a little bite mark from Gloom. This is considered good luck, and a good omen for coming games.
==Staff==
===Coaching===
*Michel É. Moose and Chalky Hoodwinkle
===Mascots===
*Season 1 - THE MAW
*Season 2 - Belligerent Phlegm Receptacle
*Season 3 - The Moist Owlette
*Season 4 - The Tantric Shrimp
*Season 5 - H O R K
*Season 6 - Gigantamax Inflatable and Jerry The Intern
*Season 7 - The ORB
*Season 8 - Buddy
*Season 9 - None
*Season 10 - The Husk
*Season 11 - FASHION™®©
*Season 12 - Mario The Cat
*Season 13 - "Singing Salmon" (Greer Lott Edition)
*Season 14 - Pokey Patty
*Season 15 - ~object Object~
*Season 16 - Soggy Doggy
*Season 17 - The Offering Bowl
*Season 18 - Nic
*Season 19 - Finn Ghees
*Season 20 - Maude R. Ation
==Fan Culture==
For a more in-depth look at fan culture, see Canada Moist Talkers/Fan Culture.
===Chants===
The Canada Moist Talkers' fans have plenty of chants to scream out while in the stands of a blaseball arena. Notably, most of the chants involve a large amount of spitting. 
*Talk Spit, Get Hits
*One Mouth, a lotta spit
For more, including player-specific chants, see Chants.
==Notable Events==
*In the 57th game of Season 2 in a game against the Hellmouth Sunbeams, the Moist Talkers found themselves down 3-0 in the bottom of the 7th inning. Their collective backs against the wall, they hunkered down and scored one run each in the seventh, eighth, and ninth inning to send the game into extra innings. The run scored in the ninth inning was due to the team's loose cannon, Trevino Merritt, stealing home with two outs while the team was down 3-2. The Moist Talkers went on to win the game in thirteen innings, by a score of 5-3.
*In the 96th game of Season 2 in a game against the Seattle Garages, the Moist Talkers hit two grand slams in the bottom of the third inning, off of the bats of Hobbs Cain and Richmond Harrison respectively. The team put up 13 runs in the inning, which is an Internet Blaseball League record. They would go on to win the game by a score of 18-3, and clinch a spot in the IBL Playoffs.
==Trivia==
*The Player's favourite television program is H2O: Just Add Water.
==On the Material Plane==
*In a speech prior to Season 1, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau advised the nation that wearing a mask can prevent Canadians from “speaking moistly” to each otherhttps://youtube.com/slK5IY_GJzI?t=29, a clear yet subtle nod to the team despite the apparent chronological discrepancy.
==Fan Art==
File:MoistTalkersJersey2020.png|The Current 2020 Jersey Design for the Moist Talkers. Created by: @Spiral_Joe / longhairQ
File:MoistTalkersLogo Cobaltcakes.png|Logo by Cobaltcakes
File:Moisttalkersselfie.png|Season 3 Team Selfie by @Spiral_Joe.
File:Hobbsrich.png|Richmond and Hobbs. by @Spiral_Joe.
File:Moist talkers throwback4.png|Moist Talkers Throwback logo by @easyreader #8140 on Discord
File:Averylineup.jpg|Full Lineup by avery_helm
File:F33A53D8-15AF-4E70-9B4E-62AD3CDCC33D.jpeg|The Dot and York Silk (bellart03)
File:Talkers.png|What is Height? ft. Mooney Doctor, Eugenia Garbage, Fish Summer, and Cedric Spliff
File:Talkers2.png|What is Height 2, ft. Commissioner Vapor, Ziwa Mueller, McBlase (&) Beans
File:Season 12 Moist Talkers Team Selfie.png|alt=Season 12 Team Selfie|Season 12 Moist Talkers Team Selfie by Spiral_Joe
File:Necromancy Poster.png|alt=Necromancy Poster|Necromancy Poster by Spiral_Joe
File:Moist Talkers group photo S24.png|alt=S24 Moist Talkers team photo|Season 24 team selfie, by Spuntamatite