Whataboutism

Whataboutism (Latin: Tu quoque. English trans: “You’re the one who gave me the spray paint.”) is a propaganda/debate tactic in which someone responds to a critical question or argument with counter-criticism. Whataboutism is a real term because it’s used in The New York Times, and on Face the Nation; and is usually associated with the leaders of the Soviet Union – and now, mini-me Russia - responding to every charge of human rights abuses, unjustified aggression, and ugly buildings with “you oppress black people.” (Which we do/did, but what about your concrete apartment blocks and their lack of natural light?).  As mentioned, Russian whatabouters are whatabouted by NATO colonizers – who indignantly drown out even valid points, if, in fact, there is a point.
Aside from Russia, other notorious whatabouters include Hypocrites of Ancient Greece, children, narcs, Dr. Vladimirovich Putin, and Stasi commander Donald Trump.
==Origins==
The ancient Greek philosopher and mathematician Aristotle is considered the father of whataboutism. He needed a rhetorical device to defend against the bands of hypocrites (who claimed to follow of Hippocrates of Kos) who wandered the city all day with their banners printed with coiled snakes, wearing dirty cloaks spoiled with spots of opium paste. They were on disability for back pain. 
The hypocrites harassed Aristotle for contemplating at his leisure.“What do you do all day? Bernie Sanders supporters all want free stuff.”
Due to internalized blame for contemplating philosophy and mathematics instead of working filling vases with fish brine, as did most citizens of the city - he couldn’t bring himself to contemplate their words, and address their criticisms. Instead, he quickly retorted, “What about you claiming disability despite your comorbidities of obesity and resultant back pain being preventable?”
“LOL, we’ll be back, libtard. As soon as we master whataboutism.”
==The Offenders==
===What about Czar Great Peter Putin the Terrible?===
Putin, who is the President of Russia Mir (Mir meaning “everything”), was born into poverty in Petrograd, Soviet Union – learning to whatabout in order to survive. He once asked his father – when they were down to their final plate of fried seagull – “what about giving me your portion?” He had actually stumbled onto the ultimate whataboutism, and, needless to say, his parents gave him everything – their portions and all their coins and trinkets – and ended up homeless.Anonymous Kremlin sources confirmed his whatabout mastery - there could be no other explanation for the rise of this translucent lizard. When his favorite college rejected him, he said “what about giving me a scholarship?” When the KGB marked his file “lizard,” Putin said, “what about promoting me?” When ‘Merica complained about him taking over Crimea in 2014, he said, “what about Iraq?”
Putin’s whataboutism has failed, however, in the face of choirboy bad-ass Ukrainian President Victorious Zelenskyy. When Putin said to Ukraine, “what about giving me your country?,” and Victorious said no – Putin mocked him by painting “Z”s on all Russian tanks. When Victorious said that was lame, Putin cut off communication to NATO countries.
===What About Obama?===
Donald Trump esquire - who gained power by claiming Barack Obama was born in a shipwreck in international waters, so wasn’t legally President – got in trouble with the Department of Justice (a beard for the Deep State) for dumping plutonium into his backyard and then lying about it. Nevertheless, he whatabouts Obama for haunting the White House and making him do that, as well as other things that are out of character. “I whatabout President Obama because he controls my soul,” said esquire. “People think I’m petty and un-American, but I’m not like that. He’s a Marxist, or neo-colonist, or whatever, and as Kissinger said, “they have metaphorical and spiritual tentacles, like a 1950’s invasion map with a giant hand.’”Esquire, who is like that – has also de-classified top secret documents, and classified himself a national monument. Considering all of it, he has been sentenced to the Colorado Supermax prison. He doesn’t know about that, however. “It would start riots if he knew,” said Senator Lindsey Graham, who whatabouts for a living.
Recently, esquire was ambushed by the National Press Corps., who - also careful not to tell him about his prison sentence - asked him about the plutonium. Esquire shot a whatabout, “What about Obama? He understands plutonium, knows how it works. I don’t understand things. His national security team said he could dump plutonium if he wanted. Doesn’t than make him more suspect?”
==Analysis==
===Whataboutism in Psychosocial Development===
Reciprocal tattling, the developmental psychological term for whataboutism, is a stage of conflict resolution that most kids work through in early childhood. The child in the first resolution stage relies on force, such as punching and kicking; the second stage admonishes the child to “use your words”; and the third is whataboutism, “What about you, Mrs.?, you don’t use your words when out drinking.”“Whataboutism is only slightly above punching an inflatable clown,” said one scientist. ” Fortunately, most people don’t whatabout – having worked through it in childhood. Most ignore it, like they do with Covid.”
Interestingly, in politics, legislative bodies will sometimes do anything to avoid whataboutism, including brawling and considering nuclear war – a regression from stage three to stage one. In Taiwan’s parliament, the Legislative Yuan, a “what about Chinese ships off our coast?” or “what about you getting a preferred parking spot despite only being here a year?” – can provoke “what about this?” and a water bottle thrown across the room.
The Legislative Yuan actually won the Ig Nobel Peace Prize – a satirical contest – for “demonstrating that politicians gain more by punching, kicking and gouging each other than by waging war against other nations.” One parliament member, taking off his shoe, said “This isn’t funny. We are fighting for our families, for our children, especially the little ones who don’t know about whataboutism.”
===References===
*Whataboutism: the Lost Drafts of Alice in Wonderland. Found in Lost Letters of Lewis Carroll in the open stacks at your local university, where it will be missing.
category:Philosophy