King Dedede

King Dedede is a fat Purple Penguin and self proclaimed ruler of The Ghetto. He was born in a lonely corner of an empty brick room to a newly wed couple of Waddle Dees, who were so shocked that they immediately Spontaneously Combusted, leaving the young Dedede orphaned. His name comes from the Urdu word for "please", but it took Scholars many year to discover this, as they didn't really care in the first place. It is said Dedede chose this name to make life hard for scholars, but since the scholars didn't care in the first place, this plan ultimately failed.
== Early Life ==
Dedede left the Ghetto in 2020, at age 29, and traveled the word for nine days. It was during this time that he met Kirby, and formed a lifelong relationship of love disguised as hate disguised as love with the fat, pink derp. They met at a fancy restaurant in France, and Kirby proceeded to devour King Dedede's dinner, as well as everyone else's dinner, the staff and the patrons, and the entire restaurant. Dedede thought this was so inspiring that he formed a lifelong relationship of love disguised as hate disguised as love with the fat, pink derp.
== War of 2020 ==
After 9 days of traveling the world, Dedede returned to the Ghetto and declared himself King. This, however, led many in the Ghetto to fight back, since nobody wants to be ruled by a fat Purple Penguin. After 40 days and 40 nights of nonstop Pokemon battles, King Dedede managed to hack the game and summon Cthulhu, forcing his opponents to surrender.
== Early Career ==
It was during this time that Dedede was arrested with an insatiable urge to start a Cooking Show. To this end, he traveled the world for 9 more days, collecting the most talented chefs from around the world. He then stole a webcam from Walmart, hooked it to his Iphone, and cooked all the chefs on live television. The cooking show was an immediate success, but only one season was aired because he was unable to find any more willing chefs. On the bright side, Dedede earned 30,000 XP and the achievement "Manslaugher".
== War of 2031 ==
In 2031, Dedede issued a decree that all members of the Ghetto were henceforward his slaves. This, of course, did not go over so well in the Ghetto, and another bloody battle ensued, in which 2 Chipmunks and a Dog were lost in space and a Cat lost 8 of it's 9 Vitalization Points. After the dust cleared, Dedede once again emerged victorious. However, due to the completion of a ritual by members of the Ghetto, including Snoop Dogg, a hole was rent in the very fabric of Space-Time, which caused the world to be blessed with an overwhelming wave of Egyptians. These Egyptians flooded the market with with unexpected labor, resulting in the Panic of 1819.
== The Great Tower of 5,000 BC ==
It was at this point that Dedede began to build the Great Tower of 5,000 BC, sending his newly acquired slaves through the rend in space time. This occurred in 2032 AD and 5,000 BC, respectively. Dedede then ascended the tower and proceeded to rule both Mesopotamia and the Ghetto at the same time. This led Doctor Who, who has magical Time Lord senses, to travel back in time with his Stupid Machine and shove Dedede off of his tower. Why he did this scholars can only speculate, but since they never cared in the first place it remains a mystery to this day.
== Present Day ==
After Dedede's Great Fall of 4998 and 2034, Respectively, Dedede was forced to return to 2034. He continues to rule the Ghetto to this day, with an Army of Egyptians serving as his military, since they were trapped in 2034 when the hole in space time closed mysteriously. It is rumored he formed an alliance with Snoop Dogg, but scholars have not bothered to look into this, as they never cared in the first place. His cooking show is still available on Netflix.
Category:Penguins
Category:Video game characters
Category:Fatties