Detective Drew Accidentally Shoots Himself

I am Drew, a detective living in Chicago. I have a pistol and a police badge.
I entered the forest where I believed that the criminal I'm searching for fled to.
Suddenly, I heard a gunshot behind me.
I turned around and saw that I've shot myself in the head.
Now, before you ask me, did I die?
No, I was alive, the bullet was lodged in my brain, but it didn't kill me yet, I could still move my body.
I then sent backup to take care of the suspect and went to the hospital to get the bullet out of my brain.
In the hospital, a doctor came and examined me.
"I'm going to have to operate on you right away, but be warned, you might never walk again."
I agreed to the surgery immediately.
The brain surgery went well.
I felt so much better after the operation.
My body felt stronger then ever before.
I even managed to continue my job as a detective.
The next day, I decided to search for the criminal who killed my mother.
I followed his trail and eventually caught him.
"I know who you are! I saw you in the newspaper!"
I tried to catch the criminal by tasering him.
Unfortunately, it didn't work, as he grabbed my taser and tasered me instead.
I screamed in pain and fell unconscious.
I then woke up in a strange room with a man holding a gun to my head.
I then grabbed the man's gun, pointed it towards his own face, and shot him, killing him instantly.
I was free now.
I then took the man's wallet and examined it.
Inside was some money and a photograph of my late mother.
I remembered that I'll need these things later.
I then exited the room and walked all the way down to my office.
When I entered my office, I met a strange person I've never heard of before.
Sitting in my chair was a woman dressed in black.
She looked at me and smiled, then called me by my name and introduced herself as "Dawn".
"How do you know my name? Also, please get out, that is my chair."
She then did so.
I then went to Burger King.
I ordered a whopper and large fries.
They came out quickly.
I ate them happily.
Afterwards, I returned to my office.
Just then, Dawn came in and asked if everything went well.
"I don't even know you, so would you please just leave me alone?"
Dawn then did what I said and exited my office.
Later, at home, my phone rang.
I answered it.
It was Dawn.
"Hello Drew, it's me, Dawn, do you remember me?"
"Yes, I do remember you, you showed up at my office out of nowhere, and when I went back to my office after I had some Burger King, you showed up out of nowhere and asked me if everything went well, well, here's my answer for you: It did went well, but problem is, I don't even know you so well, you are just a random woman who showed up at my office out of nowhere, now would you please just stop bugging me for once? God..."
I then hang up the phone.
Then, a few hours later, my phone rang again.
I answered it.
It was Dawn again.
"Hello Drew, it's me, Dawn, do you remember me?"
"Why are you calling me again? Didn't you just listen to what I said?"
I then hung up the phone.
Right after I hung up, the phone rang once again.
"Ugh..."
I answered it.
It was Dawn once again.
"Hello Drew, it's me, Dawn, do you remember me?"
"Listen here Dawn, I am not playing games with you, just leave me the fuck alone for once god damn it!"
Right after I hung up, I heard a knock at my front door.
I walked over to the door and opened it.
Standing on the front porch, was nothing other than Dawn herself.
I shut the door angrily.
Later, at home, my phone rang.
I answered it.
It was Dawn.
"Hello Drew, it's me, Dawn, do you remember me?"
"Yes, I do remember you, you showed up at my office out of nowhere, and when I went back to my office after I had some Burger King, you showed up out of nowhere and asked me if everything went well, well, here's my answer for you: It did went well, but problem is, I don't even know you so well, you are just a random woman who showed up at my office out of nowhere, now would you please just stop bugging me for once? God..."
I then hang up the phone.
Then, a few hours later, my phone rang again.
I answered it.
It was Dawn again.
"Hello Drew, it's me, Dawn, do you remember me?"
"Why are you calling me again? Didn't you just listen to what I said?"
I then hung up the phone.
Right after I hung up, the phone rang once again.
"Ugh..."
I answered it.
It was Dawn once again.
"Hello Drew, it's me, Dawn, do you remember me?"
"Listen here Dawn, I am not playing games with you, just leave me the fuck alone for once god damn it!"
Right after I hung up, I heard a knock at my front door.
I walked over to the door and opened it.
Standing on the front porch, was nothing other than Dawn herself.
I shut the door angrily.
I shut the door angrily.
I shut the door angril
--
Dawn then later called me again on my phone.
Sick of this, I answered the phone.
"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME? DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"
"I don't know..."
Followed by her giggling.
Having finally lost my temper, I shouted: "YOU THINK YOU'RE SO CUTE, HUH, BITCH? WELL, "HIHIHI" THIS!"
I then threw my phone at the wall out of rage.
It hit the wall and fell to the floor.
It's screen got cracked.
Afterwards, I went outside and to my car.
It was time for my nightshift.
I unlocked the doors and drove off into the night.
Later on, when I arrived home after my nightshift ended, I found something very weird.
My phone was now laying on the table instead of on the floor, despite it falling to the floor after I threw it at the wall.
What made the situation even more weird was that it's cracks were gone, as if it never hit the wall at all.
Just then, it started ringing.
Enraged, I ran over to the phone and answered it.
It was Dawn yet again.
"DAWN, DID YOU JUST FUCKING BREAK INTO MY HOUSE AND REPAIR MY PHONE JUST TO ANNOY ME WITH YOUR CALLS AGAIN?!"
All of a sudden, I woke up.
I was in a hospital bed.
A nurse stood before me.
She told me that I was going to die soon.
"Wait, hold on... what the fuck just happened? Wasn't I in my house just a moment ago?"
"What are you talking about? You were not in your house, you were in this hospital bed the entire time."
I then decided to live.
I then decided to live.
I then decided to live.
I then decided to live.
I then decided to li
I then decided t
I lived.
I lived.
I lived.
I lived.
I lived.
I lived.
I lived.
I live
I then woke up.
I was in a room.
The walls were white.
I looked around and saw a table with several chairs surrounding a window.
A man sat behind the table.
He held a gun to my head.
He spoke to
I nodded.
I smiled.
I nodded.
I nodded.
I nodded.
I Nodded.
i Nodded.
I nodded
I nOdded
I noddded
nodded
nodded
nodded
I woken.
I stood up.
I stood.
I stood.
I up.
I up.
I up.
I up.
I up.
I up.
I up.
I up.
Up.
I up.
Up.
Up.
Up.
Up.
Up.
Up.
Up. Up.
Up.
Up.
My phone then rang.
I answered it.
It was Dawn.
"
I then woke up.
I got dressed.
I walked towards the door.
I opened it.
I saw Dawn standing there.
She looked at me.
She smiled.
She put her finger to her lips and gave a wink.
I smiled.
I smiled.
I smiled.
I smiled.
I smiled.
I smiled.
I smiled.
I then rented a movie from Blockbuster.
I then rented a movie from Blockbuster.
I then rented a movie from Blockbuster.
I then rented a movie from Blockbuster.
I then rented a movie from Blockbuster.
Blockbuster.
I then called Dawn's phone.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
I then told her to come...
I then took Dawn to the bathroom.
I talked about my day.
I talked about my life.
I talked about my future.
I talked about my past.
I talked about my feelings.
I talked about my dreams.
I talked about my friends.
I then drank some poison.
I then drank some poison.
I then drank some poison.
I then drank some poison.
I then drank some poison.
I then drank some poison.
I then drank some poiso
I then ate some hot peppers.
I then ate some hot peppers.
I then ate some hot peppers.
I then ate some hot peppers.
I then ate some hot peppers.
I then ate some hot peppers.
I then ate some hotpepper
I drank some water.
I drank some water.
I drank some water.
I drank some water.
I drank some water.
I drank some water.
I drank some water.
I drank some water.
I drank some wa
I then jumped out of the window.
I fell through the air and landed on the ground.
I then ran into traffic.
I then ran into traffic.
I then ran into traffic.
I then ran into traffic.
I then ran into traffic.
ran into raffic
ran into traffi
I then got hit by a bus.
I then got hit by a bus.
I then got hit by a bus.
I then got hit by a bu
I then woke up.
I then went back to sleep.
I then woke up.
My phone rang.
My phone rang.
My phone rang.
My phone rang.
My phone rang.
My phone rang.
My phone rang.
My phone rang.
My phone rang.
My phone ran
I am Drew, a detective living in Chicago. I have a pistol and a police badge.
I entered the forest where I believed the criminal I'm searching for fled to.
Suddenly, I heard a gunshot behind me.
I then turned around and saw a man with a shotgun standing behind me.
He fired at my head as I fell backwards.
The bullet hit my brain and I died instantly.
THE END
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Im died
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:MOTHER OF FUCK THIS PAGE IS LONG LIKE MY PAINIS