The most scariest story ever told

It's the middle of the night and I was sitting in my room playing an online text adventure. A shiver ran down my spine as I read those words, but I kept playing.
All of a sudden, I heard a sound come from my kitchen. I stopped and listened, straining to hear. A chill started to creep over me, but I tried to brush the feeling aside as I reasoned to myself that "It's just my mind playing tricks on me." As I returned to my game though, I saw something move out of the corner of my eye, which caused me to jump! I turned to my right and saw a large, black figure sitting in a chair. The game ended as my heart skipped a beat and I screamed.
"Who's there?" I whimpered as I covered my mouth.
"Stuart Little 2", the figure answered, as it got up out of it's chair and headed for the kitchen.
"Who are you?" I said.
"I'm the baddie," it answered, it's deep voice hardly giving any indication of it's youth. "I want to scare you."
"Why do you want to scare me?" I asked, confused.
"Because..." 
It turned and looked at me. It wore a red, long shirt, black pants, and a red cloth around it's head, making the sides stick up.
"You know... you're kind of attractive..." I said.
It's eye quirked as he stuck out his tongue. "You should get checked up by a doctor because you have really disgusting habits."
It laughed, and pointed to the stairs.
"Yep, stairs are sure disgusting, haha, we have so much in common." I replied.
"So?" It asked.
"So, I'm fine." I replied.
It looked at me for a second longer, and it's eye started to twitch, then it turned around and left the room.
"Would you like some eye drops, baddie?" I asked. 
"Yeah. My name is..."
I found the bottle on my table and slowly opened it, just a little. I turned around and gave it to it, but it was gone.
"Where did you go?" I said.
I stood up and walked towards the staircase. "Stuart!" I yelled, but he didn't reply. "Stu..." I stopped as I noticed his red shirt hanging from the banisters.
"Stuart, you forgot your shirt." I said.
I then walked down the stairs and grabbed it, but when I turned around, the ghost was gone. I shrugged and put it on, then decided to go out to play in the snow.
I grabbed some snow and started to build a snowman, but decided against it. "Stu's fine without the added embellishments."
"I should go get my driver's license." I said.
I then headed to the door and looked down the street. My eyes lighted upon a postcard stand. I bought one for my mom, who was working today.
I wrote "I have your son, send money if you want him to live" on the postcard.
I then put the postcard in my pocket and walked back home. On the way, I thought of various ways to scare my mom.
I had an idea!
I then called my mom and pretended I was Stuart Little and I have been kidnapped. 
"Hello?" The woman asked.
"I am Stuart Little and I have kidnapped your son..." I replied in an ominous sounding voice. 
She screamed and fell off the chair.
"You've got to be kidding me. The post office?" She asked.
"Get in the car now!" I demanded.
"Get me 100 dollars or you will never see your son again!"
She told me to drive slowly, she'll be right behind me. I pulled up to a gas station and she got out.
"Are you freaking kidding me? Get in the car!"
She got back into the car and I drove to her apartment. When she got out, I drove to a police station and parked, then got out of the car.
"That's it, get inside!" I said, pointing the gun at her.
She opened the door and got in the passenger side. I walked around to the driver's seat and took off down the road.
The car then took flight and before long, we were at Hogwarts. 
I took my mother's hand and lead her into the castle.
"This is me quarters, sir," I said. 
"My name is not sir, it's mom," she responded. 
My mom then went to the sorting hat to try on various objects.
"What charms me?" She asked.
"A lute," I replied.
I then played Wonderwall on the lute and a magic circle appeared, which my mom went inside and found my father.
"Now mom, you understand, rearrange the name "Lord Voldemort" and you get "Father""
"I don't know what kind of game you think this is but we are not playing your twisted game," my dad said.
"This is no game, this is my son, and you will listen to me!"
My dad then killed my mom with avada kedavra.
"It's time to die, boy," my dad said. 
I fired a killing curse at my dad, but it rebounded off him.
"It's over father, I have the high ground!" I said.
My dad laughed and charged at me. I dodged his charge and tripped him with my foot. He fell onto the ground and I used the time to cast a leglock.
"A Muggle!" He exclaimed.
He then tried to rip off my head, but I held on, kicking him off my body.
"You fool, what are you doing here?" He screamed. 
"I'm looking for food, me hungy." I said.
He tries to charge at me again, but this time, I backflipped out of the way.
"Nobody can hear you, the walls are too thick," I said.
He tried to punch me but failed.
He then managed to hit me with an extremely powerful spell and I fell onto the ground.
I took a deep breath as my heart beat one last time.
Just kidding! I managed to hit him with an extremely powerful spell and he fell onto the ground.
He took a deep breath as his heart beat one last time.
I walked up to my dad and held my dagger to his throat.
"Tell me what this is!" I demanded.
He told me that he's been sent to recover a book, but he doesn't know the title.
I then pulled out my dagger and cut his throat, letting the blood pour out.
"Come on mom, let's go home..." I said.
I then walked out of the room and entered another. It looked like a bedroom. I walked inside and saw a crib. I walked over to it and looked at the bundle in the crib.
I then reached down and picked up the bundle. A famished look appeared on my face.
I then looked around for a place to hide the baby.
I then picked up the baby and walked outside. I stepped into the flue while dad was still calling for me.
"Hey, where are you going with my baby?" He asked.
"Hey, you're supposed to be dead!" I said.
He then told me to wait and ran into another room.
He then walked back into the room with a shotgun in his hands. 
I then ate the baby and the shotgun.
I then walked down the steps into the living room. I looked around and found a suitable spot to hide the body. I buried it behind the chimney. 
Once done, I started to think about my next move. 
I then walked back into my room and sat back down to watch Stuart Little 2. I was very startled by a cold breeze hitting my face.
"Stuart Little, please stop blowing air in my face." I said.
I looked over to the doorway and saw a shadowy figure. It looked like my dad, but his face has been turned into a skull, his eyes replaced with hundreds of small holes.
"Who are you?" I said.
He did not reply, but instead stared at me with his blank white eye. The other eye was red and covered by a patch.
"I would like to be your first mate." I said.
He nodded his head.
"A pirate's life for me."
I quickly grabbed my lute and followed him out of the house. I looked back at the chandlery one last time.
"What is a chandlery?" I asked.
"A chandlery is where my dad works. He makes... stuff," I looked at the ground and scanned something that looked like a fishing rod and some line.
"You know what a cauldron is?"
"It's a type of fish, I used to eat them when I was young."
"A cauldron would be good. My mom works at a chandlery, so I know a bit about fishing."
"Perfect."
"Are you the captain?"
"I am the ship. My name is Jack."
Jack pointed to the crow's nest on top of the ship to get my attention.	
"What about you, what's your name?"	
"Stu."	
"Alright, we need to get you a better name."	
"How about... Jack?"	
"Jack it is."	
I was the new pirate captain Jack Sparrow!	
I then told my crew to get a move on it. I didn't have time to play around.	
They dragged a chest down to the water and I climbed aboard it.	
I opened up the chest and took out some rope.	
"What's that for?" Dreyfus asked.	
"It's a present for our new... friend."	
Dreyfus' eyes widened.	
I was too impatient to climb up the mast, so I decided to just throw the noose over the side. I stood on a barrel and reached out as far as I could.	
"May God have mercy on us all..." I said.	
I grabbed the rope and wrapped it around my arm. I tossed over the side of the ship and fell a good ten feet before the rope stopped me.	
"Ouch." I said.	
I coughed and tried to catch my breath.	
"What happens if the wind should change?" Dreyfus asked from below.	
"We'll be here for awhile," I called down.	
Suddenly, the kraken appeared and ate Dreyfus.	
I watched in horror as the tentacled beast spasmed and grew several new tentacles, each as long or longer than I was.	
The beast continued to squirm and evolve and I slowly realized that it was becoming Stuart Little.	
I pulled myself onto the deck and rushed over to him.	
Stuart Little looked up at me with his large black eyes and shook his head.	
"No... no..."	
He couldn't believe his beady little eyes.	
He then broke into a smile and started to hop around.	
"I will eat you Stuart Little." I said.	
Stuart Little bursted into tears and buried his face in his skeletal hands.	
"No, please don't."	
I then walked over to the screen door and looked back at him.	
"Frankly my dear... I don't give a damn." I said.	
I turned back around and walked out onto the porch.	
I then sat down in a wicker chair and sighed as the sun warmed my skin.	
I then died of old age before anything else happened.	
	
The camera faded to black and the credits roll.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Bad Fanfiction
Category:Im died
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:BATTELS
Category:Beings