The Bread Maker Chronicles

You don't know me, but my name's Gene Ufland. I'm just the producer for the Murray Franklin Show, but to my anger my part on that show has gotten me heavily typecast as being nothing more than Murray's lapdog. I want more than this provincial life, but talent agencies refuse to take me seriously as I am trying really hard to start a mini series regarding shows that were cancelled just before they got the chance to truly hit their ceiling. Now, one of those shows that was cancelled just as it was about to hit a corner was the Netflix original series; Bread Maker Chronicles. Bread Maker Chronicles was a series produced by Netflix and was a spin off to the Nickolodeon series; Breadwinners. I won't spend too long on that show, but let me just say that it may be one of the worst things that I have ever had the misfortune of watching. I mean seriously, the two main characters Sway Sway and Budeauce very rarely suffer any punishment for their actions and they also torment their best customer T-Midi by strapping him to the front of their rocket van. Thankfully, T-Midi gets revenge on the pair after they end up in the hospital by rubbing their webbed feet with a feather causing Budeauce to shed a tear because he knows that this is T-Midi's 80's fetish. Now, the Bread Maker the maker of yeast and the baker of dough is a recurring character in the series. He is the man who made all of our bread dreams become a reality, and he was also completely real. Actually, all of the characters in the series were real but most of them have fled the public eye since the series ended. T-Midi moved to North Yankton where he became a piano student under Doctor Teeth. Hmm, I heard someone is planning on making a film about Teeth and his rather unorthodox piano teaching methods entitled, "The Teeth That Bind."
After the show ended, one of the stars, the titular Bread Maker, was very interested in getting his own series and this ended up happening after he was approached by Mr Noun. With him being a blue square it suggests that he may be a distant relative of the Grumpy Family, but nevertheless Mr Noun had contacts inside Netflix HQ who then agreed to have a meeting with Bread Maker to spitball some ideas about a potential spin off series. The meeting was all above aboard, the Netflix representatives were led by a scary eel named Gareth Croc. Impress Croc, and he'll give you cod liver pie, but annoy him and he'll glare at you with a glare so sinister and with teeth so sharp it'll turn skin into onion rings. Gareth Croc was a massive fan of Bread Maker, and owned all of the Maker's books and memoirs including his book; From Yeast With Love. Croc rented out a golf cart from the Universal Studios parking lot, and gave Bread Maker a ride around town much to the Maker's embarrassment as he knew this would lead to rumours swirling about him being lazy since he could fly as he was a magical bread making genie after all. DUH! Sorry, part of my shtick on Murray's show is being an incredibly sarcastic producer who mocks guests that come from Boss Town because I consider those that come from that particular town to be of the lower class shall we say. Now, Gareth Croc was only going to be the executive producer for the series while the director would be Steven Quackberg. Steven Quackberg was thought to be a magician in film when in reality he was nothing more than a C movie hack who got famous because he piggy backed a name which sounds suspiciously similar to another movie director, but I'm sure it's nothing. My sister will be suspicious! Wait a bloody second, I ain't got no sister! I have a dog with a degree in economics however.
The show's premise is that it takes place after the events of the main Breadwinners series, Bread Maker moves to West Wallaby Street where he joins a bakery ran by a certain Sylvester Stallone only for a rival bread making company to be based right across the street by Anti-Pesto. Bless you, Anti-Pesto! Ew pesto! Not on my pasta I tell you what! Anyways, the main conflict of the show was between the Bread Maker's company and Anti-Pesto's more professional and powerful company. Bread Maker disliked working for the company because they didn't put the heart and soul into the loafs of bread that he oh so desired. The factory made the bread with machinery which greatly angered Bread Maker, but he couldn't do anything to change it because otherwise he would get sent to general management which was ran by an incredibly scary street enforcer who slams his fist into his other hand indicating that he has a lot of friends in politics. Dear reader, I need not remind you that money is not everything. There are a great many things in life that money cannot buy. Like a friendly game of robin's by chance. This premise for the series was all Gareth Croc and Steven Quackberg's thinking as Bread Maker had wanted a series based on him going around town acting as a bread superhero. He would help people out whenever their crust was too crusty, their dough too sticky, or some other problem that was bread related. He also didn't want to have Sylvester Stallone in the series as Stallone was a massive fan of Veal And Wheel Bread. A doughy bread filled with veal and stuffed in the steering wheel of a boat. The Bread Maker had played no part in creating that particular brand of bread as it can be created by out of town bootleggers who owed kickbacks to the Colombians. The Bread Maker hated when people criticized his decision and mental state for creating such a loaf, but he would have to remind the people who mocked him that the bread was not of his design. So sad. He'd have preferred a Volkswagen wheel to be quite honest.
The show was originally going to be named Bready Or Not, but reportedly that name made Gareth Croc so angry that he snapped his moustache in two and turned red like a fox. Bees don't sing, but they sure do sting! Anyways, the name was eventually changed to The Bread Maker Chronicles much to the chagrin of the editors who had spent months producing posters and newspaper articles advertising the show with the original title. Sylvester Stallone was incredibly hard to get to agree to the project as he demanded way more money than Steven Quackberg had in stock. Quackberg being a masterful manipulator tricked Stallone into starring in the series by offering to financially back his passion project; The Direct Line Of Fame. A film revolving around Stallone who would play a hitman named Lyman Niel who wishes to track down the Godfather; Don Corleone who has began pestering people to buy car insurance using Direct Line and ONLY Direct Line. Sadly, out of fear of having to pay massive royalties to the Corleone Family Dobermans, the Godfather was to be played by his stunt double Sarlon Rando. Did you see what they did there? Stallone agreed to appear in the series, but he and Bread Maker had a bit of a personality clash at the beginning of the filming process due to Bread Maker mocking Stallone's slightly impassive response to the jokes written in the script. The pair gradually grew to resolve their differences with Stallone inviting Bread Maker for a wee drink at the Galway Arms. After downing a pint of Fosters, Bread Maker found Stallone wrapping his big meaty arm around him as he said, "it's all cool babesh." Perhaps the ole Stallone does have a thing for Breadie. Hmm only time will tell as an incredibly sarcastic doctor once said. Hmm, I have a brother who was known for being sarcastic at the worst of times. Oh, whatever it's most likely nothing more than an elaborate red herring in that right Alcazar? Okay! Now after getting Stallone on board, Anti-Pesto were much easier to recruit. With the gang's leaders Wallace & Gromit already owning a bakery based in the very heart of West Wallaby Street it made their participation a guarantee.
Wallace & Gromit needed the money anyway as their living room wall had been destroyed by Snowden many moons ago, and Wallace at first tried to fix the wall himself with toothpaste. It appeared to be working at first, with Wallace patting Gromit on the head as he said, "see Chuck; I'll told you we didn't need..." Wallace was cut off as the cooker in the kitchen fell through a massive manhole. Sitting next to the now cookerless wall sat the most impassive cockroach you'd ever see. He was smoking from a pipe as he turned to Wallace and said, "a new cooker might be nice." Gromit glared at the cockroach, but had to admit he was very right. Wallace & Gromit received the highest salary due to their gang Anti-Pesto providing the necessary security detail for the series. The series never properly introduced Bread Maker into the series, with the show starting like he had already been working at the factory for quite some time. The first episode was entitled, "Soda Bread Blues," and it was all about Bread Maker losing his confidence after a customer is revealed to hate his soda bread. The customer was an incredibly scary looking child dressed in Victorian attire and had pen marks written on his eyes. The child worked in a saw mil which was owned by a little squat man named Papi. Yes, that was his real name. Papi was Bread Maker's father, in the show at least in reality nobody knows who created the baker of the yeast and the creator of dough, but one could assume it could have been maybe... possibly you. Ha! You fool thought I was going to say Moe didn't you? Didn't you? Well, you were wrong!
The Bread Maker was due to receive a visit from Papi, and he had to make sure that the bakery was in tip top condition in anticipation for his arrival. He ordered Sylvester Stallone to produce some soda bread as that just so happened to be Papi's favourite brand of bread. Sadly, Stallone failed to listen when the Bread Maker mentioned that the soda bread must only have a bit of baking soda in it and Stallone... oh man he put the entire blooming canister into the dough mix. The dough started to rise like an eagle, and Stallone and the rest of the staff tried their darndest to push the soda bread back into the oven with Stallone crying, "ox it's stuck! Baker break time!" He ran to the other side of the room, snatched his beanie hat and coat from the hatcheck girl and made his leave. He ran down the street while the entire factory became caked in a mess of dough. Stallone ordered a janitor named Harvey to clean the mess up, but he was very lazy and was more interested in playing Sega Genesis and listening to a song so smelly so nasty it had to of been sung by the one they call Moby Dick. Moby Dick oh Moby Dick I'm gonna get ya and it's gonna be quick! Wait a second, Moby what!? That's not the kind of humour we do here reader, and I'm sure you're already well aware of that fact aren't you? Knowing that Papi had the resources to ruin him and the Bread Maker's reputations in the bread making industry, Stallone headed to his local Tesco and bought some store branded soda bread. He then headed back to the bakery, and add some finishing touches to the soda bread such as pouring an actual can of soda onto it. Now that's pretty cute I dare say! Papi then arrived at the factory not long after and he didn't look very happy. He had received a lift to the factory by his dearest son Bread Maker, and he was very miserable like some kind of Vegetable Man as he desperately wanted to know why his son had not married yet or found a place to call his home. Well, for your information Papi, Bread Maker had a home long ago and yet not so very long ago. He lived in an old rundown cave, but he got evicted once his bathing in lava began attracting some raising eyebrows from the neighbouring block captains who were sure to be receiving pay packets from the Tattaglia Family.
Oh! The doughy mess had been stuffed into a cupboard by Stallone after he fired Harvey because he didn't like Twixs, Wanting Papi to think that he was married, Bread Maker paid Stallone a great deal of dosh to dress up in drag, and Papi seemed to be not just convinced but also a tad bit aroused as he suggested taking Stallone out to the Lobster Inn. "Ahem! If we may?" Bread Maker asked rhetorically as he led Papi into the kitchen where a massive loaf of soda bread was awaiting the squat man's approval. Papi nodded really aggressively like some kind of King Henry The IV as he took a big ole bite out from the load only to look very angry after doing so. He chewed on the pie like a fly as he grabbed Bread Maker by the neck and yelled, "is this some kind of joke? What kind of fool do you take me for boyio!?" At that moment, the cupboard burst open and the entire factory became filled in a mess of doughy soda bread. The Bread Maker fled outside and cried a bucket of tears only for Papi to appear on the scene. Papi laughed evilly when the Bread Maker mentioned that he had only done all of this in an vain attempt to receive the long awaited thumbs up from his precious Papi. Papi was a very evil tyrant which may be a way to mask the fact that he feels super duper self conscious about his abnormally sized chin. Got a bloody big chin he has boy! Papi then demanded that Bread Maker write an essay in the dough about why it's wrong to lie and disrespect your elders. Papi then said, "do it for me and I may consider giving you the big thumbs up." "No!" The Bread Maker yelled angrily as he rose from the floor in a pink light which surrounded him. He then proceeded to yell at his father about you should not buy kitchen roll, not buy chocolate, but should instead buy into the Colombians gamble. Papi smiled a smile as he said, "you just might be right." Papi raised his thumb up slowly, and smiled an incredibly cheesy grin that only a Papi could pull as he finally gave Bread Maker the long awaited thumbs up. The episode then ended on a dance party which was reality cringey.
The Bread Maker had mentioned in interviews how filming the dance scene was incredibly uncomfortable as he had to dance with the most annoying frog you will ever see. He told Steven Quackberg about how he felt uncomfortable working with such an annoying frog and the willy Quackberg gave orders to his production crew to give the frog a very painful death. Exactly what Quackberg's men did to the frog is anyone's guess, though we can assume it involved electromagnetic pulse sensors. Also, during the dance off, Papi started rubbing his mighty chin on Stallone's hairy hand implying that Stallone was Papi's now. OKAY! The second episode was entitled, "Rough Riders Ride Again." In this episode, Bread Maker headed into town and was very excited to try some new blueberry chicken wings at his most favourite restaurant; the Rough Riders. A shameless knock off of KFC is not a fried chicken make you get me don't you? When he got to the front door, the Bread Maker was horrified to find a large 'CLOSED' sign hanging on the front door. Suddenly, the Bread Maker felt someone tap his shoulder, and gasped a mighty gasp when he turned around and saw the smiling face of Buckie O'Buck Neil. Buckie O'Buck Neil was a famous war hero in the Olive Oil War and these days served as the official spokesman for the Rough Riders brand. "What's happening Buckie? Why are you closing the joint down lack of sales?" Bread Maker asked curiously. Buckie laughed albeit a tad bit condescending for a man of his calibre as he said, "hardly. I be closing the shop down because I just found myself a really promising looking get rich quick scheme." According to Buckie, some golden nuggets have been found hidden all around Lake Vernon a result of a prospector who loved his donkey just a tad bit much. Though it was a strictly platonic relationship. The prospector regularly threw golden nuggets back into the lake after finding them unaware that you were supposed to keep them secret keep them safe. Also, the prospector was very friendly and he always smiled at the smelly sasquatch who used to occupy the nearby cave, but that's another story. Another story indeed Pooh. Another story indeed.
The Bread Maker then asked if he could maybe possibly run the Rough Riders restaurant in Buckie O'Buck Neil's absence, and the old war hero agreed happily as he turned to face the screen and said in a whisper so sinister it implies malice, "that dog ain't too bright, but he seems loyal like a boil." Neil handed Breadie the keys to the crib as it were as he made his leave. O'Buck stopped to window shop at a nearby car shop which had a ferrari sitting on the main display area. Neil started at the car for awhile, and debated stealing it when a man appeared beside him claiming he could get one for the war hero for free. "A ferrari? For free!" Buckie proclaimed in the dumbest voice you'd ever hear as the ruggish man proclaimed, "sounds good to me!" Sadly, the man was actually a major con artist as he stole not just Buckie's credit card but also his packet of gumballs right from under him. However, it was the con artist who ended up taking the fall in the end as it was discovered that the credit card was actually a forgery. Buckie was a major counterfeiter which was initially thought to be a rumour swirled by Tim Curry. Curry had found out the card had been counterfeited while the ruggish man spent a night at the Plaza Hotel. The following day, Curry appeared at the man's bedside and flashed him an iconic Tim Curry grin as he asked, "what's the matter love? Store wouldn't take your stolen credit card!" Meanwhile, the Bread Maker found running Rough Riders a hard worthy task as he had to spend so much time manning the front desk that he barely had any time to play in the arcade or the ball pit. Also, the Bread Maker had to be extra nice to people as the people took the Rough Riders name very seriously a fact driven home when he received a visit from an incredibly fat kid with headphones on and a swollen tongue he begged for brecdani, but The Bread Maker yelled, "I don't speak Welsh!"
This caught the ear of some nearby visiting inspectors who were disguised as priests so that the Bread Maker wouldn't suspect anything was off about them when they asked for everything on the menu to be brought to their table wrapped in tin foil. For insulting the Welsh lad, the Bread Maker was taken to the Court of Justice where he attempted to counter sue the child as suggested by his lawyer Richard A. Bottomfeeder who wouldn't charge Breadie a dime unless they won. Sadly, the judge overlooking the case was Judge Chungus. A big chungus of a judge who had about 69 chins was highly corrupt, and his eyes became sly as he yelled at the Welsh boy, "you acted like a damn hooligan! Speaking Welsh in an American restaurant like Rough Riders. I should have you put in the chair!" 'Oh yes! Lay it into him!' The Bread Maker thought as he began rubbing his belly with a stick of butter, but there was indeed something false in all of this that the Bread Maker failed to recognise as Judge Chungus looked down at Bread Maker and sighed sadly before saying to the Welsh lad name Moe by the way. Oh buggering buggerton why didn't I mention that before? Anyways, Judge Chungus said, "because of your fine family and because this court refuses to fat shame a welshman with connections to our esteemed leaders; the Tamil Kings. This court case is hereby dismissed." He slammed the gavel down signaling that it was time to close up for Christmas, and it also meant that Moe was allowed to get off scot free while the Bread Maker and Rough Riders became the laughing stock of every newspaper including the Daily Otter. The favourite newspaper brand of Buckie O'Buck Neil. Neil heard about Bread Maker's outburst by reading the paper while fishing for golden nuggets. He found a golden nugget in his frying pan only to learn that they weren't really gold, but were actually the cereal golden nuggets all along. Furious, Buckie turned on his heal and left determined to get Rough Riders back in people's good books.
To do this, the Bread Maker hired Anti-Pesto who despite being his main rivals in the bread trade were more than willing to lend a hand in everything they do. Wallace & Gromit had themselves a brew with the Bread Maker in their little cottage in order to discuss what to do about Apu. Ha! No with all due seriousness, Wallace came up with the brilliant idea of going around town in his van with Gromit spreading propaganda about Mayor Hall putting battery acid in the ocean which causes it to become grey and murky. Don't try the grey stuff, it's not delicious! Wallace had attached a megaphone to the top of the van, and he made the announcements through it while Gromit rode the van downtowards City Hall where Mayor Hall would be giving a speech all about how he is going to enforce an air tax. The air tax meant that people who could not pay for their premium bottles of O'Hare Air would be forced out onto the streets, or in a worse case scenario would be capped by the violent street enforcers who owed their aligences to the king of kings that being of course Mayor Hall! Gromit parked the van around the back of City Hall where a huge crate of fruits was waiting to be taken to the port by a police officer named Hull. Wallace disguised himself as a mailman, and headed on over to where Hull was loading the crates onto a truck as he proclaimed, "lad I have splendid news for you! Splendid news indeed!" "Is that so?" Officer Hull asked as Wallace rudely began pushing him towards an old wooden shack on the far side of the City Hall as he said, "oh yes indeed you'll see come the world cup final this afternoon." Wallace obviously did not have the sense to realise that Officer Hull hated sports, but he most especially most assuredly hated the world cup. Once inside the wooden shack, Wallace proceeded to brutally beat the officer to death with a rolling pin or so he thought. Foreshadowing! Shush you'll ruin the surprise silly ole me!
Gromit grabbed some of the juiciest fruit from the crate, and made his way over to the front of the City Hall and began pelting squashed fruit after squashed fruit over at Mayor Hall. Mayor Hall remained impassive even after a large green lime landed atop his shiny dome which shone so bright you could see it at night. Also, after the lime made contact with his beautiful bald head, an overly loud fart noise could be heard playing in the background. The Bread Maker despised fart jokes, but did Netflix care? Did they buggery! They turned down my talk show Gene's Ear in favour of this!? Sorry, anyways, Mayor Hall ordered his men to beat Gromit to death with a shoe, as he turned around to sign a contract for something to be dropped in the lake only to learn to his horror that the contract was being held up by Buckie O'Buck Neil himself who was disguised as the Monopoly Man. Now, could that be anything but a political statement, or perhaps a Monopoly statement I should say! Suddenly, Buckie's eyes became sly as he threw a feathered pen directly into Mayor Hall's eye. The feather pierced Hall's eye, killing him instantly as he fell to the floor. No more battery acid dumping for you now ay Hallie baby? With Mayor Hall disposed of, Buckie made his way down the steps of City Hall and jumped through the passenger side window of Wallace & Gromit's van. Meanwhile, Officer Hull who had survived the encounter with Wallace albeit not without his arm being broken and began shooting at the van only to get run over. You may think he is dead, but quite the contrary dearest reader as in a few months time he will be testifying against Anti-Pesto at the Palace Of Justice, but he will end up retracting his testimony after his brother from Sicily makes an unexpected appearance. His brother couldn't say anything but he was an old bulldog who had a way with cutting a log so thin it looked like bark. The gruesome murder of Mayor Hall took everyone's minds off from the Rough Riders incident, and meant that Buckie O'Buck Neil was safe to return to owning the fried chicken world once again. The Bread Maker decided to hang up his spatula, and returned to the world of bread making as he claimed it was the world that best suit him, and that's just really beautiful in my own personal bias opinion. Wait a second, are you calling me bias? How dare you!?
In a reaction to the 'Monopoly Man' killing Mayor Hall, protests against the rich and famous had begun with people dawning Monopoly Man masks, suits, top hats, and canes. Some people even went as far as to dress up as pieces from the Monopoly game such as the iron, the shoe, and even the dog. I had a dog once. His name was Walter Parkinson The III, but now he's dead. He got run over by an ice cream van heading down to Broadway to get his story told, about how his mother forces him to swear armbands to all of his dates. The real Monopoly Man's reputation began to suffer as a result of the rioting, so much so that he eventually ended up becoming bankrupt and was forced to live in the greenhouse district. He was tricked by an incredibly sarcastic ferryman into eating a sandwich from a dustbin, and this gave him a bad stomach ache. He ended up dropping a steamy one in his top hat much to the disgust of a nearby policeman though it was quite clear he enjoyed the sight of it, as the ole officer did have a thing for the Monopoly Man. So the rumours were true, happy now Murray? Sorry peeps, ha! I used the word peeps am I relatable enough yet? Episode Three was entitled Tis A Pity She Has A Loaf. This episode was all about the Bread Maker growing frustrated that all of his recipes seemed to be getting copied by Anti-Pesto who were indeed spying on the mighty Bread Maker via telescope. An incredibly long telescope that went up the user's nose so that the nostrils may be able to see the stars. The Bread Maker took a walk to Lincoln Park, and sat down on a bench as he pondered a ponder on what to do about Wallace as he had a sharp eye when it came to stealing recipes, but when he saw a man getting his eyes pulled out by rabid ducks, the wily Bread Maker clicked his fingers together and began tonguing his big bushy moustache as he proclaimed, "oh by Joe I got it my little duckling!"
Through the Bread Maker, Wallace was introduced to wealthy philanthropist; Lady Battersby who owned a large baking factory in Somerset. She was incredibly wealthy, and Wallace immediately had pound signs appear in his eyes when meeting her for the first time as he realised that he had a million pound opportunity right here. Wallace's plan was simple. He would seduce Lady Battersby into marriage by claiming to be blood related to the Tamil Kings thereby making him technically of royal birth. Once married, Wallace would take Lady Battersby out for a bike ride along the canal, but just as they reached an old rickety bridge he would-push her off the side into the river where she would be eaten by a crocodile. The crocodile was an incredibly tragic character who wanted to sing opera, but lost his chance when he accidentally killed the Bikini Bottom Male Orchestra. While performing in Corleone, Sicily, the crocodile had left some potent durian out on the side which stank so bad that the entire orchestra tried to break free via the fire exit, but the croc had accidentally decided to unintentionally block the door by sitting next to it on a sunlounger. He was banned from ever performing on the choir, and blames society for his failures and will now eat anyone who dare enter his domain without an invitation regardless of whether they warranted being killed or not. Gromit knew Wallace's game? Why of course he did! I mean how could it be otherwise? The wise Gromit spied on Wallace in the living room as he told Lady Battersby a story about how he saved a baby clam from poachers over in Bazooka. After going on some dates together including one at the cheese factory in Dorset, during which Wallace told Battersby a story about how he once used a glass shard to cut his nose a bit. Why exactly did Wallace do this? Look, I don't know alright ask Ferdinard.
Seeing that it was either now or never, Wallace took Lady Battersby out to Lincoln Park where they sat down on a bench as Wallace produced a diamond ring which was actually just one of those Haribo rings, but Lady Battersby couldn't tell the difference because she also once mistook a fishmonger for a protestant know what I mean my pork? After putting a ring on it wing, Lady Battersby on Wallace's instructions turned to face the flowerbed in front of them which now had a message written in the daisies and it read, "Eat At Joe's." Eat At Joe's was Anti-Pesto's partner in the food trade, with Wallace being their number one customer or perhaps it was their second customer as their real best customer was an old lady named Mable who doesn't know what her favourite colour is... or does she? Lady Battersby gladly accepted the proposal though she would have preferred it to have been done over one of her acclaimed candlelight suppers. There was also three men sitting on a bench next to the pair discussing buying drugs from the Triads, so you know it wasn't the best. Knowing that Gromit was wise to his ruse and not wanting him to blow his cover before the wedding, Wallace had his dog forcibly placed into a muzzle and made him make cups of tea as the BBC 2 logo came to play on a nearby telly screen. Wallace attached the muzzle extra hard to Gromit's face as he said, "this is for your own good lad. Can't have you getting in the way of my cheesy plan." Gromit glared at Wallace who responded by pulling an incredibly cheesy face all the while proclaiming, "eeeh!"
The wedding took place in the very heart of West Wallaby Street, with Wallace being incredibly cheap he hired the cheapest priest he could find that being Father Veri Young who was a little too excited to see the couple read their vows as he was pitching a tent... no seriously he was pitching an actual tent with help from the Birkland Bears. He's as hungry as bears as Cailou's grandpa would say back in the Summer to end all Summers. Father Young was incredibly old as the name implies, and he couldn't even read the rites of passage without laughing hysterically and told an overly long story about how he once saw an old abandoned baby carriage located in an alleyway just outside of Ferrio Street. While Wallace and Lady Battersby waited for the stupid vicar to get to their vow readings, bad things were happening in the kitchen as the Bread Maker and Sylvester Stallone were butting heads on which flavour of bread was the couple's favourite. Oh yes, the Bread Maker. Remember him? He hasn't done a whole lot has he? Considering this show is supposed to be all about him and all, Netflix seemed far more interested in focusing on the side characters like Wallace & Gromit, Papi, and even Father Veri Young. In truth, Netflix considered people like the Bread Maker to be relics of bread, and only agreed to commission the series so that the almighty Bread Maker would lay down the law on them so to speak. They were just a little too respectful. Ole Breadie was certain that Rainbow Confetti was the bread that Wallace and his betrothed desired, but Sylvester Stallone was cunning as he pulled out a large baking tray and said, "you must be mistaken dearest Bread Maker, Rainbow Convetti gives people orange legs. No, my friend, the choice of bread for Anti-Pesto and co has always been stank bread. A green ora came from the stank bread which entered the Bread Maker's nostrils. The Bread Maker backed away in disgust as he cried, "oh that's some rank stank my duckling!"
Needing to use the little bakers room, the Bread Maker held his mouth in disgust and turned to leave in a hurried fashion only to end up accidentally kicking a frying pan off from the stove which came into contact with Stallone's face. According to a post on Reddit, Stallone mentioned that real scalding water made contact with his face much to his dismay as he had been told that cold water would be used, so his pained reaction was very much real. Stallone held his steaming face as he ran out of the kitchen in a mad rush. The Bread Maker having recovered from the rotten stank of the stank bread, grabbed a large steel bucket with holes in the bottom, and filled it with water. Cold water FYI. He headed into the main area of the chapel, and saw Stallone running towards the altar where he grabbed a hold of the communion wine and threw it over himself, but it actually made the pain worse and finally Stallone collapsed down the steps much to the confusion of Father Young who decided it would be best to call the wedding off. Lady Battersby also decided to call off her engagement to Wallace as she believed he had deliberately hired poor catering staff in an attempt to give her a case of salmonella poisoning so bad that she would sign over her insurance money to him. I mean, she's not entirely wrong now is she? No she isn't no she isn't no she isn't! "Goodbye Wallace." Lady Battersby said to a sobbing Wallace who blew his nose albeit a tad bit aggressively as he then asked, "what will you do now?" "Now? I don't really know, but I'm going to start by going on tour to Madrid with my lover Crazy Ralph." At that moment, Crazy Ralph appeared on the scene driving a bicycle, and Lady Battersby rode on the bike with him into the sunset which had the face of the Genie from Aladdin. The Sun Genie looked at the screen as it sang, "there's nothing in the world quite like a friend!" And so, Lady Battersby got to live another day, but tensions behind the screen were becoming all too high and Sylvester Stallone decided to hang up his apron and call it a day ending his contract three episodes early.
Netflix got back at Stallone however, by only paying him $99 and a packet of quavers much to his confusion. Sitting on a bench, Stallone's quavers were stolen by a pigeon, but he got the last laugh as the pigeon ended up crashing into a radio transmitter. With Stallone refusing to take part in the series any longer, he was completely written out with it being explained that he moved to West Coast Tec to ace that test. In his absence, a new character by the name of Derek Willock was written in to spice up the character dynamic. Willock was the perfect man so they say he could do anything such as walk on shards of broken glass with bare feet, tell you the best surfing spots in North Carolina, and even used to be a member of Gus Polinski's polka band. Yes, that Gus Polinski! The poker king of the Midwest! Polinski often took Willock home to Boss Town in a truck, and he would entertain Derek by making him blow sounds into his trumpet. Sounds dirty doesn't it? Derek was very nice, but very rude at the same time as he looked down on the Bread Maker for not having a golden globe when Derek had one for his role as Rick Ankle in the made for TV movie; Less Is More But More Is Sore. A movie I'll have to discuss one day which involves Thor becoming involved in a plot to steal the Saltan's false toe. He's Thor? Well it hurts. The Bread Maker had really wanted someone a little richer to be his new co-star, but the Netflix execs all cried out in unison, "nac oes!" Much to the Bread Maker's grievance, he was forced to share the stage with Derek no matter what, starting with Episode Four; "Born And Bread." In this episode, the Bread Maker and Derek Willock made a deal with Mr Duncan owner of Duncan's Toy Chest, to deliver freshly cooked bread to the Steve Martin Retirement Home. Mr Duncan was so surprised by the pair's generosity that he gave them two turtle doves as presents. "We can have two?" Bread Maker inquired as he took a turtle duff into his hand and began cradling it like a turd as Mr Duncan responded, "well two turtle doves. You keep one, and you give the other one to someone really special. You see; turtle doves are..."
Sadly, both Bread Maker and Derek Willock had already departed the scene having grown quite bored of Mr Duncan's pathetic tale. Now, that's just rude! I mean come now! Not so above it all now eh Derek? Nice guy my Aunt Sally! I don't even have an Aunt Sally. My Aunt's name is Florida! Need I remind you that is the name of a State! A STATE! Ahem! Anyways, the Bread Maker was very annoyed because this episode would be interrupted by a commercial break. Yes, I am aware that Netflix is a commercial free service, but Gareth Croc just got off the phone to Quorn Foods who agreed to sponsor the site if and only if they let them play an ad during every episode of The Bread Maker Chronicles. The advert featured Mo Farrah the acclaimed runner running through the street as he yaps on and on about how Quorn Mince contains no chemicals, but they do Mo they do. Mo was hated by the Bread Maker who held his ears in protest as he cried, "MAKE IT STOP!" Depressed over the negative response from the Bread Maker who had been his role model since the day he started jogging, Mo Farrah stopped at a Quorn truck where he bought himself a Quron hotdog which had once put someone in the emergency room, but you didn't hear that from me. Unfortunately, Mo never got to eat the Quorn delicacies as a rat child would always yell, "STOP," and they would stare sinisterly at Mo until he coughed up the Quorn like a man coughing up eggshells. Mo then ran down the road, and is still running this very day. Some day he is running away from the judgemental eyes of The Bread Maker, but others say he is running to get the bad Quorn taste out from his mouth. How pray tell could it be that one, when dearest Mo Farrah never had the chance to eat the Quorn delicacies? In a reaction to this, Quorn stalled their deal with Netflix and this played a major part in the show's eventual cancellation, but hold your horses for we are just about to enter the fun zone as Mr Cherrywood would say. I don't trust that man, the way he smiles sinisterly as you shut the door really creeps me out.
The Steve Martin Retirement Home accepted the bread delivered to them by the Bread Maker and Derek Willock, but then they asked if the pair would like to stay for a flight or maybe a bite. They could even take in some Harry Hill's TV Burp if they'd wish. The Bread Maker greatly grew to despise being at the retirement home because an old lady pestered him to play on the piano with her, meanwhile Derek Wilock sat next to an old man whose dog resembled that of a bulldog. The old man had a scar down his left eye which was actually just mint sauce which had gone red from the Sun hun, and he started to enjoy Derek's company especially once the wily Derek revealed that he had actually been a serviceman in the Onion Sauce War. A war spearheaded by Shrek in a vain attempt to make onion sauce great again. It was a massive scam, and millions lost their holiday homes in Canada, but as Captain Qwark once said when his head was floppy like a sock, "I'm sorry." The old man really liked telling Derek about how during the war, him and his friends bunked off and found a tribe of diamond traders who were actually just con artists. Eventually, the head nurse of the home; Nurse Virginia Alves appeared and scolded the old man and ordered two ordelies to escort the old man to another part of the hospital so that Mr Wilock could remain undisturbed, the two orderlies took the old man away so that he could be given a very painful death. Let's just say; kitchen tongs were involved. Around this time, the hospital found itself being under attack by a mysterious serial killer who.... Oh my wickers.... It was Michael Myers. Not wanting to end up killed, Derek suggested that he head up to the highest point of the hospital so that he could use his cellphone to call for help. Yes, Derek still owned a cell phone, but it was mainly because he considered contracts to be a complete rip off.
At the home's belltower, yes it had a belltower don't ask; Derek began attempting to get a signal as Micahel Myers appeared from behind him. Derek smiled at Myers as he asked, "are you a friend?" You know Derek you really are a hotdog. Myers threw Derek off the balcony seemingly killing him, as he turned around and made his way down the rickety steps but not before he ended up accidentally tripping on a banana peel which sent him flying to the bottom of the staircase faster than Sonic The Hedgehog. The Bread Maker took advantage of the situation, and began beating the snot out of the defenseless Michael Myers. Michael held up his hands in defeat as he cried, "wait stop!" Hmm, that voice sounded awfully familiar I must say! "Mr Duncan?" Bread Maker inquired as he ripped off the mask, and learned that yes it was indeed Mr Duncan the entire time. Mr Duncan revealed after being questioned outside in the parking lot by the police that he pretended to be Michael Myers in an attempt to see if Bread Maker and Derek Wilock really had the true heart and soul that a baker needs to succeed. Not entirely sure how impersonating a serial killer would get him the answers he seeked, but don't judge dears as that Mr Duncan ain't too bright. He don't want you recognising him out of fear you may implicate him in a tax evasion scheme, so he pretends that he and Mr Duncan are completely separate people despite keeping a massive bloody portrait of himself hanging in the main lobby of his toy store. Mr Duncan, you are a terrible liar! Derek then appeared on the scene with only a minor head trauma and was applying a cold steak to his forehead. The Bread Maker cried, "Derek!" He ran towards Derek happily, but just as it seemed they were going to hug they stopped and then awkwardly smiled at each other as really bad saxophone music played in the background. It was in slow motion, and it sounded kind of hot. Well, that's what my wife thinks anyway. Ah!
The Bread Maker knew that he needed something ambitious for the series finale so he decided to make it a two parter. Yes you heard it here first folks, the last two episodes of the show were a two parter! Isn't that a little suspicious? Oh seasick! Regardless, the two part finale entitled, "Sins Of The Loafs," and "Better Off Bread," were all about the Bread Maker hiring an M16 agent named Finn McMissile to look into a mysterious breadnapper who had the speed of a rubber duck, but the strength of a raging bull. McMissile had a hunch despite being a car that this was the work of Captain Black Bellamy. He was a known hoarder of bread, and was said to have a personal stash of Rainbow Confetti safely tucked away in the bottom of a whale located at Evening Lake. He also had men in the Union Depository who could melt the rainbow filled doughy dough into golden bread sticks which could then be sold on the black market to make a bank so bankful it would make Mr Bank blush a bank note worthy enough to sail a hero's trophy as we face each catastrophe. The Bread Maker offered to provide assistance to McMissile, and McMissile agreed after being tricked by Bread Maker into thinking that his macho wrestling-esque baker's attire was actually a rather elaborate disguise. McMissile falsely and perhaps rather arrogantly for a car of his calibre believed the Bread Maker to be something of a rather unconventional undercover spy. According to McMissile, that very evening, Black Bellamy was to be hosting a big party up at the Spouter Inn, and all of his friends were invited including two wealthy ducks who were very well off members of the London Stock Exchange, but they still didn't think twice before assaulting a clown on the tube who may or may not receive kickbacks from the Petrovic Mafiya. Foolish ducks, should know better than to mess with Kenny Petrovic; the most powerful Russian mob boss in the country.
Making their way down the cold damp and quite frankly very smelly streets, the pair of Bread Maker and Finn McMissile spotted the two ducks sipping on cups of tea outside the treadmill. Ah, the treadmill in Full Vigour I see I see! The Bread Maker was very scared and hid behind a red telephone box as he asked, "what do we do now my little duckling? Perhaps, we should call it quits and head on down to the church to pray a fray." "No son, watch this!" McMissile proclaimed as he shot some tranquilizer darts out from his two front wheels which made contact with the two ducks who ended up bumping into a band of incredibly scary bears. A family of three bears... hmm I think I met them a long time ago at a Burger King, oh but I'm sure it's nothing. The bears pinned the two ducks down onto the ground, and beat them some bad, but they managed to escape albeit in critical condition and were then taken to Boss Town Hospital which Black Bellamy just so happened to own 5% of. "I didn't know that Black Bellamy had a stake in Boss Town Hospital." The Bread Maker admitted as he sat down on a bench and began throwing bread at the ducks. Don't you know that bread is dangerous to ducks you imbecile! McMissile then made a parachute come out from his windshield as both he took the Bread Maker for a flight so bright you can see at night. Before heading to the party, the pair stole the fancy suits that the two Stock Exchange Ducks had been wearing. They were in serious condition. Isn't that wacky? Black Bellamy was no fool however as he watching this all transpire from a nearby bush with a pair of binoculars as he said, "time for the odds to be put in my favour." He reached inside his pirate hat, and pulled out a jar of mint sauce and rubbed the contents along his moustache with a butter knife. He used the mint sauce to keep his moustache nice and smooth like a groove.
The party was surprisingly childish, as Black Bellamy had rented a bouncy castle. A blooming bouncy castle when he was like 46 years old!? He looks really young because of the mint sauce ya see. The ball pit was also filled with sulphuric acid in order to ensure that people did not stay in there for too long. In their disguises, the Bread Maker and Finn McMissile arrived at the party and were surprised at how everyone treated them like fellow travellers of the grave, and not some other race of people bound on other journeys. Bread Maker saw a huge table full of Rainbow Confetti located on a rickety table full of splinters, and he ran over to the table and began scoffing the goods as he asked Finn McMissile about how Black Bellamy was not receiving any police attention despite him being rather out in the open for a pirate. "That's because his businesses are air tight." McMissile explained as he then proceeded to pull an incredibly cheesy face at Bread Maker, and he kept staring at him like that for a good twenty minutes. Finn McMissile x Bread Maker? Now then, that's the love story that I want to see. What are you still doing here? Get on that right now Mr Tomasino! The Rainbow Confetti was making the Bread Maker's stomach jiggle like a... marrow as he was pulled away from the table by Harry Gaye Editor in Chief for the Daily Otter Newspaper who wished to interview him for the front cover of the latest issue of the Daily Otter. The interview went real bad when Mr Gaye gave the Bread Maker a right good pat on the stomach as he proclaimed at the top of his lungs I might add, "I just want to get to know you better!" The Bread Maker ended up needing to burp. Finn McMissile looked very distressed like some kind of tuba as he cried, "hold it in big guy hold it in!" But it was too late, and the Bread Maker ended up burping the most above average burp that the world has yet known. It was so loud that it made some of the visiting scientists drop their false eyes in their glasses of otter sauce as the ole Bellamy was getting the bottles in bulk by an old friend of his from Dartmouth. Could it be ole Peg Leg Hastings? No can't be, he died years ago or did... he?
The massive rainbow filled burp caused the entire party to become erupted in a riotous frenzy much to ole Breadie's grievance as he begged to give an explanation for the event as both he and Finn McMissile were stripped out of their disguises by Bellamy who looked at the pair with a smug grin as he said, "I'll have you two know that I happen to have a very good attorney who will be speaking to you very soon. Very soon I know." He sang that last part in a song perhaps you've seen in your dreams. Also, side note; how was a car like Finn McMissile able to wear a fancy tailored suit. I don't know honestly, but I'll tell you that he really needs to eat a sandwich. Perhaps an Empire Bay style deli sandwich. Slap anything on that sandwich it don't matter, no it don't! Furious, the Bread Maker pulled out a golden revolver and aimed it at Black Bellamy as he threatened, "you want an attorney, well you'll need a pretty good one when you meet God." Bellamy laughed heavily, and walked mockingly over to the Bread Maker. He lowered the Maker's gun as he said, "take it easy Bread Maker, I am not a fool. I know why you came here. You want to know why all of the hot sweet dough is going missing. Well, a friend of mine can take you to see what it is you want to see, but be warned as this is where your journey will really begin." For some odd reason, Black Bellamy explained that last part in the dumbest voice you'd ever see. Feeling very awkward as he feared the loud rainbow filled burp from earlier may have leaked into City Hall, the Bread Maker asked for Black Bellamy to make the necessary introductions for himself and Finn McMissile. "Ha no!" Bellamy laughed as he kicked the pair out onto the cold and quite frankly very smelly streets without a pence to their names, but they did have one thing. They did have gum. A half pack to be precise.
The Bread Maker and Finn McMissile looked at each other with really weird faces as they were then greeted in the town square by Black Bellamy's friend; Overly American Soldier 1009 a friend of the Fezziwig Family so I'm told. Overly American Soldier 1009 who I'll just call Joe from now on led Bread Maker and Finn McMissile into the local sewer line which was being clogged up recently with loaves of bread. All of the loaves including the aforementioned Rainbow Confetti, Stank Bread, the fabled Minty Good Bread which had a min duck dressed in Santa attire dancing on it in an attempt to avoid paying his mortgage, Soda Bread, and even Sour Patch Bread. Hmm, I think I know someone who would be very interested in trying that particular brand of dough. The Bread Maker made his way over to a tunnel which was riddled with sewage and he took a good whiff from it only to recoil immediately, "oh good lord! That is some rank stank my duckling! How ever will we solve thigh breadicement?" Joe offered to enter the sewage tunnel himself as he wrapped a rope around his waist and when he tugged on it well it meant that the Bread Maker and Finn would have to pull him back. "You best stay here." Joe warned as he then said, "we don't know what's going on down there." He was so incredibly American it hurts, and he made his way through the sewage tunnel only for a loud blood curdling scream to enter the sewer line as the Bread Maker and Finn both eyed each other as they decided to head on into the tunnels themselves in order to make sure they weren't being played for a sticky wicket by Black Bellamy. The tunnel grew darker and darker, but the pair pressed on despite Finn McMissile protesting that there could be monsters hiding in the shadows. Weird beeping sounds could then be heard as from the shadows in front of the pair came a gang of yeti's who were beeping like bots but roaring like... dots? They chased the Bread Maker and Finn McMissile who tried to fly away using his wings but they had brown paint on them so it meant that he was stuck. Yeah, I don't think that was brown paint Mr McMissile. Looked more like harmonic reinforcements if you ask me!
The cliffhanger then occurred with incredibly sinister music playing in the background which was so sinister it caused an old man in Gran Canaria to drop his Malteaser ice cream down on the ground which made his head explode as that Malteaser ice cream was family. Part Two took place immediately afterward with the Bread Maker and Finn McMissile finding themselves being cornered by the yeti's only to end up getting saved by an unnamed good samaritan who offered them lodgings at his cottage. Of course, the Bread Maker and Finn McMissile accepted the offer with open arms... well McMissile doesn't even have arms but anyway they left the Yetis behind to die of starvation in the tunnel despite their insistence all they ever wanted was a parker coat of the Spanish variety. Perhaps they could call the Yeti Krab. Anyways, the good samaritan led the pair of Bread Maker and McMissile through the streets until they reached a large tavern-like building in the middle of nowhere. "Hmm something doesn't seem quite right." Finn McMissile said as the Bread Maker attempted to remove the car's preconceived doubts by offering to make him beans on toast which the agent gratefully accepted. Suddenly, the Bread Maker took a massive level in arrogance as he said, "my friend, you are really starting to get on my nerves. Now, will you quit being such a drama queen and come inside and help me make toast!" His face became red like the lobster as both he and McMissile made their way inside, failing to notice that the good samaritan behind them was rubbing his hands together evilly as he laughed a wickedly sinister laugh that sounded all too familiar.
To the pair's horror, they realised that they had been tricked into entering the vegan house, a restaurant/bed and breakfast which was controlled by none other than Gaston himself. He sat on a chair located in the dead centre of the restaurant next to a toilet which he longed to use but never could due to a serious case of chronic constipation. The good samaritan then entered the vegan house from behind Bread Maker, and revealed himself to be Gaston's loyal but dimwitted assistant Lefou in disguise. Realistically speaking here; Finn McMissile of all people should have been able to see through the disguise as Lefou was wearing a really cheap beard and glasses costume and a woolly hat shaped like my left toe. Bread Maker is the almighty baker of yeast and the yielder of dough, so what's your excuse Finn McMissile? Lefou reached inside his ear and pulled out a bottle of Mega Colon Blow, as he ran over to Gaston's side all the while proclaiming, "Gaston, you've got to take more laxatives!" Gaston punched Lefou squarely in the jaw, sending him flying to the other side of the vegan house, and he ended up flying through the window and into the dustbins outside where a bunch of buddhists were attempting to start a fire in order to warm their hands. Gaston rubbed his chin affectionately as he said, "with all of those interruptions taken care of, allow me to explain why I had you boys summoned here in the first place." Gaston explained that he was the reason that the bread had been going missing, and he had taken all of the loaves from the various bread mines located across Pondgea, but not for nefarious purposes no. No in reality, he had taken them in order to study them in order to see how he Gaston could go about making the most almighty loaf that the world has yet known. Gaston then asked or rather demanded that the Bread Maker become his new baker, and teach him the secrets of becoming a good baker.
One day maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, Gaston planned on starting up his own line of bread rolls entitled Gaston Rolls Again. Again!? What do you mean again!? Gaston then revealed that his former baker had been a bit of a disappointment to him. The baker was the sweetest old man you will ever meet, but he was incredibly terrible at his job as a baker as he just threw dough onto a table and made a real mess as he tried to craft it into a loaf worthy enough to meet Gaston's needs. "We'd love to help really we would, but I'm afraid we have some prior engagements so..." The Bread Maker was cut off as Gaston's friends appeared from behind him as the wily Gaston said, "I'm afraid to have to inform you dearest Bread Maker, but my offer of employment was not a request but rather an order. Get to work!" The Bread Maker and Finn McMissile made their way into the kitchen, but they then came up with a very cunning plan that would surely be enough to get them out of the vegan house and back into civilised society. The Bread Maker and Finn McMissile made no loafs of bread, and when Lefou appeared to ask how the pair were getting on they asked if Lefou had suggested eating from the floor to Gaston. Lefou brought this suggestion up to Gaston who rubbed his chin again albeit not as affectionately as before as he pondered aloud, "that could work."
A SICK scene then played which featured Gaston and his cohorts eating food from the floor as really cheesy music played in the background. The Bread Maker and Finn McMissile got ready to leave, but they were then stopped at the fire exit by Gaston who had the pair pinned down to the ground by sitting on them with his chair as he yelled, "you boys can't leave now! Oh mighty Bread Maker, I must know more of your secrets." He then sang, "oh mighty Bread Maker what makes you grow?" The Bread Maker remained impassive as he and Finn McMissile had an ace in the hole it would seem as they brought out a special loaf of bread made just for Gaston, but the loaf looked horrifying! It had googly eyes, a sick twisted smile, and it was a friend of Pesalty. Remember Pesalty? Nobody does, not anymore and that's the way it'll stay. That damn book and his dog got taken out back if you know what I mean. The loaf could talk, and introduced itself at the Almighty Loaf as it said, "God always wants us to forgive others for their sins, and teach them how to atone for them." Gaston was terrified of the Almighty Loaf as was Lefou, and the pair tried to escape, but the doors had been super glued shut by the Bread Maker and Finn McMissile. The pair headed down to the bread factory, but they learned to their shock and horror that the entire factory had been buried in sand by Anti-Pesto who had taken advantage of the Bread Maker's recent absence in order to make a real mess of things. The Bread Maker sank to his knees, and sobbed into his big meaty hands as he cried, "how long was I gone for!?" He then entered the old abandoned factory via the rooftop, and once he saw how condemned the factory had become he cried, "where has everybody gone!?" The episode then ended. The general idea was to continue this plot in the second series, but it never happened as shortly after this series ended Steven Quackberg and Gareth Croc both made separate announcements that the show had been cancelled after ratings had fallen following the removal of Sylvester Stallone's character.
Many people including the Bread Maker himself opined that the site never gave the series a chance to find it's audience, and failed to connect the series to its star. Steve Quackberg took the Bread Maker out for a ride in his golf cart, and offered the almighty Bread Maker a five picture deal, but he turned the offer down being able to see through Quackberg which was something his proteges the Breadwinners had failed to do when Quackberg came a knocking on their door to ask if they would be interested in starring a movie about delivering bread. The Bread Maker decided to call it quits on the series, but not before offering the premise to any studio that would buy. Most studios simply left it behind thinking it would fail to pick up a new audience once it jumped ship from a platform as popular as Netflix. Eventually, the Bread Maker decided against his better judgement to head to his local Jack In The Box in order to get himself a bacon ultimate cheeseburger; an item of food which at one point in time would have terrified him, but now doesn't actually sound all that bad. He made his way inside the restaurant, but upon noticing the massive line was being held up b a man who kept pausing to take his order the Bread Maker retreated to one of the nearby booths. He sat down next to a man who was reading from a newspaper which had an article on the front page detailing the show's cancellation. The man reading the newspaper said, "hmm trout," which had been a catchphrase of the Bread Maker during interviews which he would say whenever someone asked him a question that was perhaps a little too personal for his tastes for example; how much does a log rhythm cost? That question shall never be answered no matter how hard you try to find one you never will!
The Bread Maker looked over at the mysterious patron curiously childlike as the man lowered the paper, and introduced himself as low level movie director; Malcolm Rosenberg himself. Rosenberg claimed to have the Bread Maker Chronicles' biggest fan, but in reality that honour belonged to this RV from Southampton who had a towel with the Bread Maker's face on it thrown over him. He also wore a comically oversized chef hat at all times, and would always yell, "OH MIGHTY BREAD MAKER WE SUMMON YOU," whenever the titular Bread Maker would appear on screen, which was like ya know 99% of the time in most episodes. The RV was hated by the neighbouring mini vans as he would often shoot steam out from his nose whenever they rode past him. Steamed RV's, now that's what I call RV's! You call RV's steamed RV's? Why yes dear reader, yes I most assuredly do! Rosenberg then threw a huge sack of chocolate coins onto the table in front of him and Bread Maker as he said, "if you agree to star; I will help make your series two a reality. I will make your show the first thing to air on my new streaming site; Rosenberg's Collection." #Not sponse, but uh Mr Rosenberg you have my number call me. The Bread Maker shook Rosenberg's hand, and they left Jack In The Box without Rosenberg not having paid for his food. The rude carrot onions! Jack Box dispatched some bees to chase the pair, but they tried to avoid the bees by diving underwater in a river. They thought that the bees would leave, but the bees never did Remie they never did. No, instead, they just flew above the water waiting for the two to come to the surface for air. Some day, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday they will get out from that river and when that happens they will make a second series. When that series comes out, and I see all the episodes, I'll be telling you about them. Oh yes I will. Goodbye for now, for my wife has just got back from the store. This is Gene Ufland signing off, but one last question. Where is the groom?
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