Dan Versus Vinyl Scratch

It was a lovely day in Los Angeles, as Dan was playing with his cat, Mr. Mumbles. "Oh Mr. Mumbles, you're the best thing to happen in my life". Dan said as he continued playing with his cat. Just then he heard a car roll up. He opened his door and saw a car with giant speakers blairing the Smile song remix. Dan gave the car an evil look. "You"! Dan said. The window rolled down revealing a white pony with a dark blue mane, and light blue highlights. The pony pulled out a handgun and began shooting. The pony missed Dan, but unfortunately hit Mr. Mumbles. The pony laughed evily. Dan began crying. "MR. MUMBLES"! Dan's tears fell on the ground. Dan dropped the now dead cat. His face went from a depressed face to an angry face. He looked at the car, his face turning even redder then before. "VVVINYL SCRAAAAAAAAATCH"! Dan screamed, as everyone all over L.A. heard him. Dan jumped from his front door to the top of her car as Vinyl tried shaking him off. Dan jumped into the car as he saw many dead cats in the back seat. He began punching Vinyl as she tried going for the gun. Dan gave Vinyl a bloody muzzle and broke her glasses. The car crashed into a diner. The two got out of the car and continued fighting. Dan tried drowning Vinyl in the soda, but she bucked him so hard he flew into Chris' parents, killing them fast. Dan got up and continued towards Vinyl.
Vinyl came out soaking wet and pissed off. She grabbed Dan and tried to burn his face in the deep fryer, but instead Dan kicked Vinyl in the chest, knocking her back. Dan grabbed Vinyl's mane and began beating her head on the floor. Vinyl pushed Dan back, breaking the back door and crushing the PATRIXXX, killing him slowly. Vinyl pulled out a knife and began swinging it around like mad. Dan grabbed the knife before Vinyl could stab him. Dan knocked the knife out of Vinyl's hoof and decked her in the face. Dan then froze in suspended animation. Vilyl did too. They were then taken captive by an alien mothership clearly created on Garry's Mod.
==Inside The Mothership==
Dan and Vinyl woke up in a pool of water. A screen began flickering. The two looked up. Alien Jeff The Killers showed up on the screen. "Why hello earthlings. We are from the Planet Apple. We have abducted you so you could either impregnate our women, or be a perfect host for us to bree-". Before they could finish, they see Dan and Vinyl desperately trying to drown each other. The aliens tried to get their attention, with no luck. "I'm Gonna Kill You For What You Did To Mr. Mumbles"! Dan screamed. "I'm Gonna Kill You For Ruining My Car"! Vinyl yelled. The aliens teleported down in front of the two. "HEY! Listen To US! We Need Your Help T-"! Before one of the alien Jeffs could finish, Vinyl grabbed him by the balls and began drowning him. Dan grabbed the other one and began drowning it as well. "Celestia Damnit Do You Ever Shut Up"? Vinyl said looking at Dan. "I know right? They have an even more annoying voice then yours". Dan said. After Vinyl got done drowning the one alien, she got out of the pool and ran towards an escape pod. Dan then hit Vinyl across the head with the one dead alien and ran towards the escape pod. He got in and ejected the escape pod. "Ha HA"! Dan laughed as he launched himself into space. The pod was floating towards earth. He felt a thud on  the pod. He looked and saw Vinyl Scratch hanging on. "Vinyl?! But How"?! Dan asked. Vinyl had an evil grin. "I Can Breathe In Space, BITCH"! Vinyl yelled as she was trying to break the pod open. "B-But How"? Dan ask, shocked to see Vinyl still breathing in space. "Well How The Hell Was Luna Able To Survive On The Moon"?! Vinyl yelled. "That Doesn't Answer My Question"?! Dan Screamed. The pod was going down to earth very hot. 
==The Final Showdawn==
Chris and Elise were busy cleaning the house. "There. Clean as a whistle". Chris said. "You could say that again". Elise said. Chris began repeating what he said. Elise facepalmed. The escape pod crashed onto Chris' and Elise's house, killing the couple instantly. Dan emerged from the escape pod, speaking jiberish. He looked and saw Chris and Elise's lifeless corpses, as Squidward began tentacle raping Chris, and Sonic.exe began sucking Elise's soul out of her nose hole. "No. No! NO"! Dan screamed as he slowly walked towards their bodies. Vinyl bashed Dan's head with a 2x4, knocking Dan to the floor. Vinyl continued beating Dan with a sadistic grin on her face. She dropped the 2x4 and begn strangling Dan. Dan's face turned blue. His eyes closed. Vinyl dragged his body to the burning building of Chris and Elise. She dropped the body by the fire. She had to answer a phone call. It was Octavia. "Ugh. What is it Tavi"? Vinyl asked. "I was wondering when you'll be ba- hey, Hey, HEY! No...No... Bad pony, Go Stand In The Corner"! Octavia yelled. Vinyl was confused. "Uh, Tavi... Who were you talking to"? Vinyl asked. "Oh, nopony Vinyl, I was just talking to the television". Octavia said. "Anyway, I just wanted yo know when you'll be back". "I'll be home soon Tavi, I just need to kill this guy. Okay"? Vinyl said. "Alright then. See you then love". Octavia said hanging the phone up. She looked at the corner at who she was yelling at. It was another mare, collared, leashed, gagged, and blindfolded. She was scared. Octavia walked towards her with a riding crop. "Now, are YOU gonna disobey mommy again"? Octavia said angrly, rubbing the mare with the riding crop. The mare could not say a word. She nodded her head yes. Wait... wasn't this about Dan fighting Vinyl Scratch. Sorry about that, someone just sent me their fan fiction and I crossed it into this. Sorry about that, time to continue. Vinyl put her phone in her mane. All the sudden, an angry Dan sliced Vinyl's hoof clean off with a machete. Vinyl screamed loudly. Dan then began slashing Vinyl to death. "This. Is. For. Mr. MUMBLES"! Dan screamed, each slash he had to take a breath. He dropped the machete, and fell to his knees. He breathed heavily.
Out of nowhere, a hoof tapped his back. He turned around. It was Vinyl Scratch. "WHAT! B-But How"? Dan asked, confused. It turned out that Vinyl Scratch was still alive, but there were pieces of her on the other side. It turned out that the clone Vinyl was really King Kong In A Robot Suit! Dun Dun DUUUUUUUN! Not only that, but he was also a Demon From Outer Space! Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUN! He then took Dan into space as Dan choked to death and his head blew up and he was cumming his brains out. Literally. Brain matter came out of his penis. And Then The Big Bang Happend. "And That's How Equestria Was Made"! Said Pinkie Pie. The Cutie Mark Crusaders ran away from Sugar Cube Corner.
The End!!!111
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:Inside Jokes