Lucky Day

John never won anything. It wasn't for lack of trying. He would bet on anything and everything, he would call in every time there was a competition and he would beg his mother to buy him lotto tickets since he was underage. It didn't matter. he never was caller 13, or 23, and he never won a single bet. On Fridays, you would see him throw out the mass of losing tickets and immediately start in on his mother for more. His mother tried to stem the tide, she really did, but John would always find ways around her rules and she didn't want him to stumble into the wrong alley looking for discounts, or free offers. So the gambling continued unabated.
This Friday, however, was different. John sat in front of the T.V., eagerly awaiting the announcement of the Friday winners. He ran through the list he had made each time they called the number. Ten disappointing minutes later, he was back in the store with a grubby fistfull of money and a smile. As he browsed through the tickets, looking for the "lucky" ones, he noticed something strange. There was a new type of scratcher out. It was jet black, with red lettering on it. Skeletons danced in a graveyard on the back, with red eyes glowing. All in all, it looked like something you could run off on a printer at home. It felt sticky, like the red "blood" depicted on it was dried and real.  It read "Spooky Surprises!!!" and in small print underneath that " A winner everytime!!"
He laughed, but took it off the rack. "Just for fun," he thought. He took three more, and then took them to the front counter. The clerk smiled at the diminutive character behind the counter, but said nothing. It wouldn't be a good idea to annoy his biggest spender over a little age limit, now would it? John paid and left quickly, determined to get home and scratch off the new kind of ticket. This time, he had to win!
When he got home, he locked himself in his room and got out his "official scratch-offer" It was really a letter opener, but he felt that it was extra lucky because he had almost won 500 million with it.  He chose to go horizontally first. He scratched off three in a row and his eye grew as wide as dinner plates as he looked down at the three in a row that dictated that he had won. His first win ever! He danced around his room, holding up the ticket and screaming in joy. "I won! I won!" He shrieked.  his mother came into his room, clapping a beat as he danced around the room. He leaned back over his ticket to see what he had won. The picture was fuzzy and unclear, but it looked like a red stuffed animal, like a clifford plushie. He picked up the letter opener again and scratched off the tow three. Another three in a row! He gasped in delight again, his mother quipped "I guess your luck must have finally came round!" this picture was a little more clear. It showed a man, his bottom half decomposing and his top half screaming as it clawed its own throat. Sickened, but still excited, John realized it must be some sort of figurine. "It did look like it is from a video game," he mused.
He then remembered there was one more row to scratch. He held his breath as he scratched off the first one. A Six. He checked the little guide that proclaimed the value of each prize and it stated it all caps "MAJORa PRIZE!" He scratched off the second one. Another six. He started panting excitedly as he scratched the third one off. A third six. He sat back in his chair like a bomb had gone off. He...had...won! He wordlessly began dancing again as his mother cheered him on. 
They packaged up the scratcher carefully, bubble wrapping carefully as per Johns paranoia and sent it off to the address labeled on the card. John waited every day for hours at the mailbox, and when, a week later, a large package arrived, he thought that he would die from excitement. Inside the box, there were three, smaller boxes, one reading "MAJORA PRIZE!"
The other two read "SMALL PRIZE," one colored red, the other green.  He decided to open the major prize first. He unpackaged it to find a new game cartridge waiting for him. It read "MAJORA" in blocky letters. He smiled. He would have a lot of fun with that later. He set it aside and picked up the red package. He opened it slowly, a smile already forming on his face at the wonderful prize within. Then he shrieked in horror. Inside, dripping red, was a baby, roasted like a chicken. He threw the box out the window, listening in shock as he heard it splat on the ground below. He numbly sat there for a few minutes, staring across the room at the pile of "SPOOKY SCRATCHERS!!!" he had bought. Then he reached into the box and pulled out the green package. He numbly opened it and looked inside. And then John was a zombie.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck