The Game That Wasn't Very Nice

Once upon a time 9 year old was me was playing Minecraft on the computer and I said to myself that I need to eat something. I ate the computer but that didn't work for some reason. It turns out I've been sitting on this chair for 11 years straight, and I was a skeleton at this point. So I had to make a bold move to buy some food to become fully human again. I then went to my local ghetto alley and saw this guy, but he wasn't just a normal guy. He was a normal guy with some food. I walked up to him and noscoped a guy on the way there because he tried to sell me some dank memes, but I never use those. I never seen this guy before, maybe it was because he was 2 weeks old, but that didn't matter. He asked me "Do u want 2 buy sum weed bro." And my mommy Ronald Reagan said "Winners don't do drugs." so I backed down. But then he offered this slice of bread with the weed. And of course I did the rational thing and took his deal and went home.
I put the stuff on my table and then went to take a dump, but suddenly I realized I was a skeleton, and then I went back to the table and then suddenly my piece of bread transformed into a game right before my eyes. The room went hyper realistic white and then the game fell down on my table and broke from how high the game disk was in the air. But then it transformed again and that was really weird because you can only mega evolve once in Pokemon Y, and we all know how bad it is to the break rules. So I told the game to stop breaking the rules. Then transforming disk and I went back in time so I could catch the falling disc the first time. I then dropped it on the floor and it broke when I tried to catch it. But then suddenly my PC made a very hyper realistic beeping sound and realized that beeping sounds can only be super realistic, so I knew something was horribly wrong.
I was running to the PC and then someone was blocking the door to my PC, it was none other then Nicolas Cage. We had an epic duel of playing Dragonball Z Budokai, but I came out on top. Nicolas Cage then said "Oh darn gee gosh darn." and I thought that was the dumbest sounding thing ever so I threw that guy out of my window. I then saw my computer screen, I saw a game that had not been seen before. It was titled "Not a Very Nice Game." I have trust issues on believing what I'm told though,so I sat down to play. Then a  skeleton popped out and told me. "I'm gonna die." but that guy didn't know I was already dead. But then he urinated on me and left the house. His urine luckily helped me grow a mustache and my dreams came true.
I then had two options, Singleplayer and Options. And I realized, the game wasn't lying when it said it wasn't very nice. What kind of game doesn't have multiplayer? Yeah, a not very nice one. I then realized I was still hungry, so I ate the weed and then I realized that it tasted like peppermint, and I hated peppermint. So I went to the fridge and got some cereal and went back to the game. There were 3 save files and one was already used. The name of the file was titled, "PlzclickIamevilmeaniepantsguyloserwhowantzursoul." So like every normal kid I picked the used file because everyone does their playthroughs with used files. What do you think I am, a time lord? I have a family to feed and a life to live, my goldfish need me and you guys need to appearicate that. The things I do to save the world from imbalancing forces.
The game was loading longer then Sonic 06. Which made the game more not very nice.But I got in the game and it was very scary. The sky was dark red with skullsas clouds, and I was standing in what looked like white blood. But then I realized what it really was and it disgusted me, white paint. I then saw this NPC, his name was PBG, I had no idea why some idiot would have three letters for a name. But he told me that it was 69:420AM, I realized that I was really a time lord because there are only 20 hours in a day. This PBG fellow gave me a very mean look and hyper realistic hyper came out of his eyes. Then he exploded into millions of fingers. I then realized these were chicken fingers and ate them all, but I was only a skeleton. I noticed how there was a quest option in my menu screen, so I clicked it. It was titled "Someordinarygamers journey."
I then said to myself "This guy sounds like a tool." But I had nothing better to do so I went over to the location known in the game as 'Spookypastavilleplacetowncity." This Someordinarygamers fellow said "I need more weed cookies from the deep web, accept or I will kill you hyper realistically." I knew the stakes were high so I accepted and used my elite haxz skillz to get him the weed cookies. But then the doors closed and he said, "I am a winner." The room was about to then self-destruct because my hyper realistic haxz were to great for this building to contain. I then ran, then Jeff the Killer, Jane the Killer, the Slenderman, and Bob Newhart all tried to stop me from leaving when I went to the 360th floor of the building. I then used Someordinarygamers as a bomb and they all blew up, except for Bob Newhart. We then had an epic fight on the roof top where we were both trying to noscope each other with doritos and mountain dew. But he was to powerful for even my pro elite skillz. But then out of no where he said he needed to go to the dentist today. So he left in his helecopter and I got up to try and leave.
There were 34 seconds on the self-destruct thingy meter. I then decided to jump off of the building because fall damage is horrible in video games why do people add it. I then fell down the building and then almost died because fall damage was in this game. I then got a message saying, "Whoops." the game knew how not very nice it was being when it said whoops, my mom got killed by a whoops. So I knew the game was being not very nice at that moment. I then got up in this cutscene, it was very hyper realistic and it was taking to this weird town, called "Plottown." It was very empty. It was emptier then something that was empty. But there was this one shack. And things got very bloody in there. Someone stepped on a bug in there, and there was blood everywhere. But then I saw the man that did this, and I then knew this was the final boss of the game. Because not very nice games are short. And this is totally not a different save file that made it through the game, it's my own save file. Shut up.
The man who stepped on the bug turned out to be the person who sold me the game. And then it got very scary from here. The man who sold me the game spoke three words, "Mow my lawn." He then summoned Obama, and he was knocking down my health very fast. I then took the fight outside and then Obama said "I don't WANT to go outside though Dad." I took advantage of his complaining and roundhoused kicked his knee. He then said "I got a boo boo on my ouchy." And then went back to the White House. The man who sold me the game then told me to stop calling him the man who sold him the game, but I did it anyway because he was a meanie jerk face poo head. The man who sold me the game said "I haven't mowed my lawn in three weeks, and you have to do it because kids are good at mowing lawns."
But I then showed him my mustache, proving I was not a kid. Then the man who sold me the game said, "Well you're a nerd and you should die." We then went into an epic fist fight and he had a hyper realistic amount of health in hyper realistic red. We fought for three days and 1337 minutes. But then he said, "I want to grow up to be like you." I didn't know what to say, so I 360 noscoped him and then he went down from my elite haxz skillz. I then died hyper realistically in the game and then the game said it's final message, "Whoops." I then threw the computer down a hole and that killed the game. It then turned into hyper realistic blue blood and it was over.
But then suddenly, some people bursted through my door. It was none other then the Joker and Nicolas Cage. They were mad at me, the Joker was there to help Nicolas Cage because I wasn't very nice to him. And they said "You are a loser." I then tried to reach for my 3DS and tried to challenge them to a game of digimon. But it was to late, they shot me in the face,(They didn't noscope me though), and I died. Then they made $10,000,000, and went to go to Mcdonalds to get the special buy one sandwich get one free. And they had a very good time together.
Luckily though, this story wasn't lost because my goldfish told everyone the story. They were very nice, and people made spooky movies and books about it, and r8ed it 8/8 because m8 it was g8 so don't h8 m8 because your replies are all b8 so r8 this m8. But then I realized something when I was writing this, I never got to eat my slice of bread. It was all part of the Jokers master plan.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:TRUE STORY
Category:Minecrap
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Loads of Characters