The Holder of Cucking

In any city, in any country, go to the nearest bedroom. If there are two consenting adults within that bedroom, stay within that bedroom. If not, go find another bedroom. If you have to leave your house, go leave your house, and if the cops come after you tell them to go fuck off. The cops will arrest you. You will spend some time in jail. When you're out of jail, start over. 
Anyway... in any city, in any country, go to the nearest bedroom and look for two consenting adults. And it can't be someone within your family, because this would be really disgusting if it was.
So, you're probably going to have to leave your house, and if so, y'know, knock on the door and ask if you can go into the bedroom and they'll probably give you a dirty look, and if so tell them that they're the ones who are inconsiderate of your culture, and eventually you'll come across a really liberal couple who'll just go 'Well, O.K., oh, uh... well, you know, if it's your culture, I think we should be accepting of other people's cultures.'
Something that might help you in your quest is you might see a Joe Biden 2020 bumper sticker or Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders or, whatever. They're probably pretty cool with this. So, here's the deal: knock on the door, don't force your way (O.K., that would be wrong). Knock on the door, politely, because otherwise it would be like 'Who the fuck are you?' and they'd tell you to leave or they'd call the cops, and then you'd have to start over, and that would really suck because you already started over. (I know. Okay? It happened to me.)
So: go to the bedroom, and if there are two consenting adults in there, ask them if they're married. If they're not, then leave and go to another bedroom and if there aren't two consenting adults within that room, then you're going to have to leave again and go to another house and this might get kind of redundant (but it's for a good cause, so hear me out).
So, eventually, you're going to find people who are O.K. with it. For the record, since we live in modern times, it can be two men, it can be two women. Keep in mind whatever sexual orientation you happen to be in. You might want to think about that, because you're about to get laid. Make sure that it's with someone that you feel comfortable with.
Now, the thing is, this ritual will not work if you don't do it because you don't like something like the color of their eyes, or their hair, or even if they have body odor. You still have to go through with it, and if that's the reason why you don't do it then you go straight to hell and the devil pokes you in the ass with a pitchfork for all eternity. So don't do that.
So here's the deal. Once you go to a bedroom with two consenting adults--and, for example, if you're a heterosexual male, you'll want there to be at least one woman there. If you're a heterosexual female you'll want there to at least be one man, and if you're bi you're fine either way as long as they're also cool with it--anyway, ask them if they know what cucking is. At that point, they might get really mad and smack you in the head with a mallet, and in that case you might die, and you can't be The Holder of Cucking if you're dead. So, if they're offended, remind them that it's your culture, and if they're still pissed off call them bigots and tell them that you're going to report them to the ACLU. And if they're O.K. with it and don't know what cucking is, then open up Webster's dictionary on your mobile phone (if you don't have a mobile phone, it's fucking 2018, go buy a mobile phone you dick). Just explain to them that you want to have sex with their husband or wife or whatever. Gotta be married. Gotta be married, otherwise it ain't cucking.
It doesn't matter what kind of sex it is. And yeah, just go for it and do it. And they'll watch, they'll sit there, and you'll have sex with their wife or their husband or whatever it is that you do. And, that's pretty much all there is to it.
Now, with that said, there are ways to really win this thing. Now, if you want to be The Holder of Cucking (keep in mind there are multiple holders of cucking, that's part of how this works... it's 'the holder of cucking', so obviously there's going to be more than one person involved here), one way to really win is to bring a Tweety Bird Pez dispenser and shove it right into the vagina. You have to be careful. Be gentle. Be gentle. If you're too hard, you're going to hurt her, and you shouldn't her. You shouldn't hurt anyone. That goes against the teachings of the Buddha.
So, after you do that, you will probably last... I don't know how long you last, 15 seconds, is that the normal average? I don't know, I'm just going off of, eh... anyway, so after that, leave the house, go back home, don't give them your phone number. In fact, it's better if they can't trace you or track you at all. Just a total stranger.
And when you go to sleep that night, you'll be awoken by three ghosts. The Ghost of Cuckmas Past, The Ghost of Cuckmas Present, and The Ghost of Cuckmas Future. Now, they'll show you the past where you were you weren't really sexually generous, and that's kind of cool because you should be married before you have sex. That's sort of the right way to do it. Otherwise, it's just lust and fornication and it's punishable by being stoned to death.
So, if you haven't had sex in the past and you go 'Hey, Ghost of Cuckmas Past, I was just following the moral rules', he will say 'Well, O.K., you passed Test 1'. So then The Ghost of Cuckmas Present will go 'Hey hey hey, saw what you did there.' and will give you a high-five and will talk about Dude, Where's My Car? for about one minute and twenty-seven point thirty-five seconds, something like that... and once you're done, they're going to give you a free t-shirt.
It's going to be two sizes too small, so here's what you have to do: you have to take the t-shirt and try to flush it down the toilet. Now, if that t-shirt goes and flushes down the toilet it's going to clog the pipes, and that would really suck and you're going to have to go to the hardware store and get a new toilet or call a plumber. 
Actually, if you get a new toilet, that's not going to solve the problem because it's going to clog the pipes, so you're going to have to call a plumber. So, bring in the plumber and tell them that they're interrupting you (because you're in the middle of a dream anyway, so they're not real), and they'll tell you that you're The Ghost of Cuckmas Future and that you're going to hell, because you fucked someone else's wife or husband and that's against the rules. So, you know, he's gonna have a pitchfork with you and he's going to sting you in the ass with a pitchfork, then you're going to jump in the air kind of like they do in the cartoons and you'll going to go through the roof like Goofy from the Disney cartoons, and you're going to go 'Uhhhh, hoo hoo Hooooo-OY!!!', and then you're going to land in a swimming pool which at first might sound kind of O.K. because in the cartoons they kinda cool off after they get hurt sometimes or whatever, but instead you're going to suddenly be in real life and it's a real swimming pool and you're going to wake up just in time to be crushed at the bottom of the swimming pool.
Now, you may be wondering, O.K., I thought you've done this before...
...yeah, I did...
I'm dead.
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