Barbie's Death Adventure

Let me start off by saying I love Barbie, just like everybody else does. I have almost every doll, and I have all the video games, board games, if it has Barbie in it, I got it.
Anyways, one day, I was playing Barbie Horse Adventure on my PC with 4 Titan Blacks and an i7 4960x processor, because it was super pooper graphical intensive, while I was fondling myself to an elderly Barbie doll, when I heard my doorbell ring. When I peeked out the window, I heard "BARBIE'S DREAMHOUSE", and then I saw the mailman explode to the autism of my doorbell. I went outside and got the package. "That is weird, I wasn't expecting a package"
I opened the package and I got a CD labeled "Barbie's DEATH Adventure", and a letter from my fuck buddy, Juan, a fellow Barbie enthusiast and a furry. The letter read "HEY, KYLE, I JUST SAW A S00PER SP00KY GHOST IN MY HOUSE AFTER PLAYING THIS GAME RIGHT HERE. I DO NOT HAVE TIME NOW, BYE". There were also blood stains on the letter. I was enthralled for another game to add to my Barbie Collection. Of course, I turned off Barbie Horse Adventure and put in Barbie's Death Adventure, oh boy!
I started up the game, and it looked like a normal Barbie game. It started with a cut scene, when Barbie and Ken were having sex. Barbie was moaning, and Ken was grunting. Right as Barbie was cummed inside of, she took a knife and made kill of Ken. She said "Finally, I've been waiting 55 years for that moment!". She then put on her clothes, and burnt Ken's body.
The game started off. I had knife, gasoline, matches, bleach, and a pistol with 10 bullets. I walked up to Ryan and we talked. He said "Yeah, fuck Ken! I say we make meth". Barbie and Ryan were now making meth. In the middle of making meth, Barbie noticed with her extreme Barbie Scientist S(Kills), that she could dump bleach in the meth and their trailer would assplode. And so she did, she took a mug of bleach, pushed over Ryan, and poured in the bleach. As the chemicals were mixing, Barbie ran out the trailer, locked the door, and the trailer assploded, and now Ryan was kill.
Next, Barbie visited Teresa. They were riding on horses, and then a cutscene entered where Teresa fell down a hill. A rock climbing down minigame entered, but it was easy, I finished it in 3 minutes at most. Anyways, another cutscene started, and Barbie was helping up Teresa, when Barbie pulled out a gun. "Barbie no, pls", Teresa said "Don't kill me, pls". Barbie said "Oh, I'm not going to kill you, I'm gonna put you out of your misery" Barbie then streched Teresa asshole, and a minigame started where you have to climb through Teresa's body to get into her chest. Barbie then put gasoline on her chest, and lit it on fire. You then had 4 minutes to get outta there, but it only took 2. Anyways, then you went to go talk to Raquelle last.
You drove down to a science lab and talked to Raquelle. They were talking about sciency stuff, when Raquelle mentioned a nuke, and Barbie's face lit up. Raquelle took Barbie to the nuke, and started talking about it, blah blah blah. Anyways, Barbie grabbed Raquelle and threw her into the nuke, and Barbie set the nuke to launch, and in 5 minutes, it would destroy the entire town. Barbie entered a car, and you drove around out of town for like, 5 minutes, and a cutscene started, showing everything in the town assploding with Barbie just escaping.
After the cutscene, I was relieved from the spookiness, but right as I was about to leave, the monitor read "YOU'RE NEXT", with hyper realistic BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD on her face. Just then, I heard my door break down
I went into my kitchen, and just to my surprise, Barbie was in there with an axe. I peed all over myself, and Barbie said "Urine trouble", with a budum tssh of course. Anyways, I ran into my closet as she was pursuing me, and I had just remembered, my Halloween Skeleman. I threw out my spooki skire skelemans at her, and she was scared, but that only made her angrier, so I swung my door at her face, and I ran into the car and drove away.
I thought it was over now, but to my surprise, I saw her on my door, so I kicked the door and she got hit by a tree. I drove into a forestey area, and right as I left the car to go into the forest, Barbie came out of the trees. I ran back, and went into a swamp, and I ran into the swamp. As she swung her axe at me, but I dodged, I heard a voice say "AYE LADDEHS, WAT ARE YOU DOIN IN MAH SWAMP?" It was Shrek. I was so happy. Shrek ran over to Barbie, and with his big ogre cock, as well as her consent, he shoved it into Barbie's butt, and Barbie assploded due to the sheer size of his dong.
Shrek then picked me up and flew us back to my house. It was all ogre now. He set me down in front of my door, gave me a pat on the back, and flew away. Since then, I now own all of Shrek's movies and merchandise. Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shrek
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
Category:Hyper-realistic