300 russian clowns destroyed my home town

I was sitting in my room in my gaming chair. I was grinding on genshin impact like I usually do. But then the internet cut out and I got an evacuation alert on my phone. I was scared, I forgot to save and all my progress on genshin impact was lost. Anyways my mom walked into my room and told me to get everything valuable and pack it into the car. I loaded all my anime figures and my computer into the car and we drove off. My parents brought the "important stuff" like food and water. And my brother brought comics books. While we were driving a clown car crashed into the car. Thankfully I was wearing my seatbelt but my dumb dad didn't and went flying out the window. 10 clowns got out of the small car and beat up my dad. It was gruesome. My mom hit the gas and tried to run over the clowns. They ran out of the way before they got hit. They broke the windows and started hitting us with colorful mallets. My moms head got busted in and see slumped over and died. Confused and scared I ran out of the car along with my brother. The clowns chased us. 
They started firing at us with clown guns. My head almost got blown off after a bullet whizzed past my head. While we were running a stray bus hit and killed all the clowns. We picked up there guns and kept going. Our goal was to get out town and america and start a new life as eggplant farmers. Our goal was helped when we hijacked an ice cream truck. My brother was driving towards the bridge when it blew up. I saw clowns firing missiles at the bridge that leads out of town. We tried to turn back to find another exit but the clowns saw us and started firing at us. Then we started shooting at them and they got mad and tried to blow us up we evaded them and shot some of them. I killed some of them but they started screaming. My brother must've realized they were calling for help and he grabbed me by my arm and dragged me to the ice cream truck. 
He drove us to the last exit of town. While we were going there our tire popped. We got out and were ambushed by a group of clowns. They threw us to the ground and started beating us up. I managed to reach my gun and I shot the clown that was beating me up. I shot a few more clowns including the one that was beating up my brother. We ran for it and ducked inside a waffle house. We hid under a table and then on the tv the reporter said our town of stupidtown was being invaded by clowns. I then heard the clowns talking outside. But they were talking in russian. not only were we being invaded by clowns. But RUSSIAN CLOWNS. Right then I knew we were doomed. The clowns threw juggling balls threw the windows. One of them struck my foot. It felt like a bowling ball hit my foot. I took a closer look to see it was a bowling ball. My brother started firing at the clowns. Right then the staff of the waffle house helped us out and used there frozen waffles as ammo. We killed most of the clowns but then this big clown came running at us. We started shooting at him but it did nothing he just kept going. 
He busted through the doors and killed the waffle house staff. My brother was trying to drag me out the door. He grabbed my arm and threw me to the ground. He said "когда жизнь дает тебе лимоны ты брызгаешь лимонами себе в глаза" I didn't know what that meant but he tried to sit on my face. I'm not into that unless its a girl on my face so I fought back. I tried my best but he overpowered me. My brother shot off his head and he kept trying to kill me. My brother then stabbed him in the heart. But it still didn't work. I then randomly said "если ты убьешь меня твой гей" I don't know how to speak russian so it was a complete surprise. my brother and I went to the final exit. When we got there we saw the military killing the remaining clowns
A week after the "clown chaos" (which is what people are calling it) most buildings have been destroyed. Blown up by the clowns. Now were living in oklahoma as eggplant farmers because there's plenty of space cause no-one lives there. I'm glad that the clown chaos is now behind us. But a few days ago I saw a headless clown standing in our fields. OH NOES THE CLOWN IS HERE твой следующий или что-то в этом роде
Category:Trollpasta
Category:I CAN HAZ TRANSLATION?
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Pointless Violence