nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
HMS Invisible

Career 	
Ordered: 	27 September 1939
Laid down: 	3 January 1941
Launched: 	13 June 1942
Commissioned: 	13 June 1942
Decommissioned: 	9 December 1977
Fate: 	MIA 10 December 1977
Struck: 	  —
General Characteristics	General Characteristics
Misplacement: 	Pacific/Atlantic/Arctic Ocean/The pub
Length: 	Approx. 300 ft 12 in gun deck
Height: 	Approx. 100 ft
Result: 	Confusing
Propulsion: 	Dog furnace (dogs)
Speed: 	Quickish
Range: 	Unlimited
Complement: 	"You look nice today"
Armament: 	30 quarter pounders on the forecourt
Motto: 	"where's the door?"
Lunch Special: 	Shepherds Pie
Once flagship of the Royal Navy, the battleship H.M.S. Invisible stands as a proud and glorious monument to Britain's Naval heritage. It was designed by Arctic explorer Condoleezza Rice in 1942, and remained in service until 1977.
The ship was constructed from high tech BennyHillium alloys, and as such was completely invisible to the naked eye, and quite blurry even on other wavelengths. Initial construction took place in Taiwan; however, due to an arms embargo imposed by the Chinese for British human rights offences, it had to be delivered to England disguised as 166,000 flat-pack display cupboards, and manually assembled in the Admiralty's living-room. (This dramatic story is recounted in the Oscar-winning documentary You Only Live Twice.)
The Invisible was the first true stealth ship. On commission, the ship's see-through-ness quickly proved it ideal for reconnaissance, although it is less suited to fine manouevres. It has sunk without trace no fewer than 4 times, having collided on several occasions with the scattered remnants of Edwina Currie. Nonetheless, the then First Sea Lord Winston Churchill commended the design, saying that the sight of its majestic bow wave surging up the Thames was enough to temporarily lift the life-long burden of his 'black dog', narcolepsy.
Crewmen and women of the Invisible were sworn to an oath of secrecy when accepting their station aboard this giant of the seas; equally, any sailor informing another that they have served on the ship is no doubt a member of the counter-intelligence services, solemnly fabricating tales of fictitious foreign postings (such are often resold as novels).
After over 35 years' service, Invisible was superseded, considered obsolete by H.M.S. Impossible. The next day, the Captain, in a drunken fit, lost the keys and the invisible was never found again.
==See also==
*Condoleeza Rice
*Mary Celeste
Category:Science and technology in the United Kingdom
Category:Military of the United Kingdom
Category:Marine navigation
Category:Invisible Things
HOMG CLICK FOR N00DZ

hi my name is kiki the dead person. i am 4 years old. my mommy used to feed me antifreeze every morning in my cereal. my daddy eyeraped me every night. i died when my grandma threw me into a well. my soul still lives on. and now i am in ur computur. i have no faic. i have no skin. i will kill u tonight. wen u see me at 11:11PM tonight (est) i come into ur room without knockin first and then i eat ur soul and then i kill it. then if u look me in the faic u die. hahahaha. ;) repost this message on 8 unnews articles and i wont kill u.
also if ur sayin "omg this is the same dead bitch who tried to get me on youtube and myspace!" then two things first of all don't call me bitch or ill kill you even if you DO repost this second no it isn't this is different.
Category:Internet
Ha ha Quaker

The ha-ha Quaker, himself a robot parody upon the Whig party's Anti-Dental Referrendum which failed in the Congressional meetings of the 1840s, arrived early on the interweb in the year 2005 from the demon-infested planet of Mars, where he had been exiled during a failed 1960s coup d'état in Bulgaria, in order to spread peace, love and extremely sturdy dental wear to the unhappy people of the internest by converting l33t haxors, trolls, spammers, manga ann hentai addicts, amateur pornographers, and libertarians to functional members of society by means of camping, rocket-jumping and $p34|{ 1n £337.
==Disciples==
* The Quaker Oats guy
* Lord Haw Haw
* Bozo the Clown
* I'm older and funnier than you in unliving color beeyatchs!
==Special Abilities==
* Falling into lava.
* Exploding into gibs
* Arriving at a party with a backpack full of realistic mock-ups of the Quake-guy's weapons, and like he totally sat down next to the pool and the weight of the backpack made him fall in and he like sank like a rock and drowned and no-one could save him because he was too heavy, on account of all the nail-guns and shotguns and rocket-launchers he had in his backpack like I said before and it's true because I read it on this guy's blog and I saw this picture of a guy at the bottom of a pool - it was totally not photoshopped because I zoomed in and saw this guy reflected in the guy's visors, he was like completely naked and must have forgotten he might get reflected in the picture and everyone on the internet would see his...!!!!111!!11OneOne!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!eleventyone!!!@!
==Favourite Sayings==
* HA! HA! I am currently browsing the internet!
* HA! HA! It's Chinatown!
* HAW! HAW! 
* HA! HA! It's a trap!
* HA! HA! I'm using the internets !!1!
* HA! HA! (Anything) !!1!Eleventy!!
* HA! HA! My balls are on your chin!!
* HA! HA! WHERES YOUR FUCKIN SKYWIZARD NOW?!!!
* OHH! OHH! That's the spot baby!!11!
==See also==
*oatse.cx
*Fark
Category:Internet memes
Hachenmota

Hachenmota Motors is a little known manufacturer of small automobile engines. Their engines have graced the likes of the Honda Accord, Fiat Picolino, and the classic Porsche .5 Hachenmota, which carries the namesake of the small company.
==History==
Hachenmota Motors was founded back in the heat of the great Mexico-Japan War of 1903. Colonel Francisco Blanco Antonio De'Hachenmota was taken hostage by the Japanese, and spent eight years working slave labor in an Isuzu factory. Upon his release by Belgian Peace Corps workers, he retained the knowledge he gained in Japan and returned home to Mexico to start his own company.
Hachenmota Motors got off to a rocky start, and had trouble finding buyers for its products during its first years. There were two reasons for this: not only did Francisco De'Hachenmota fail to remember the intricacies of Japanese engineering, but even in his extended family of 1.5 million people he could not find a single man capable of replicating the technical expertise of the Japanese workers. 
Good fortune finally smiled upon De'Hachenmota in 1912 when Italian sportcar maker Fiat decided to use the 55Hp .5L Hachenmota engine in their newest automobile, the Fiat Picolino. The Picolino sold well in Italy where the roads are narrow enough that a moderately fat person overhangs both sides. Hachenmota's engines fit well in narrow cars as he designed them with all 12 cylinders in a line rather than side-by-side. The narrow roads prompted Fiat to continue to use Hachenmota engines in their cars, and De'Hachenmota's profits grew by 300% in that period—from US$1.8 thousand to US$5.0 thousand. With the massive influx of capital, Hachenmota bought 1/8th of the entire country of Mexico and began mass-producing their engines.
==Hachenmota Today==
Today Hachenmota motors are used in a wide variety of automobiles and other vehicles, with some automakers secretly using Hachenmota engines in their production cars (Ford for example). Success in this field has prompted the company's president Francisco Blanco Antonio De'Hachenmota II to attempt to branch off into other aspects of the automotive industry. Under development right now is Hachenmota Motors' first production vehicle. Hachenmota wanted to create a popular small car that would appeal to a younger generation of buyers looking for a lot of bang for the buck, thus the "Hachenmota 5000GTS 6.3i Type R" was born.
This snappy vehicle has the traditional in-line 12-cylinder engine, bored and stroked to a fine frenzy. The seat cushions are genuine sealskin, there is a built-in bidet, and the car comes with its own Dusseldwarf to handle parking and distribute dramamine tablets. When not in use the Dusseldwarf tucks himself away in the trunk and smokes hashish.
Safety is not forgotten, and a unique triple-airbag system triggered by dynamite guarantees that any survivors of a wreck will not suffer long. The safety harnesses have a hand-thrown hangman's noose built in and in Hachenmota's testing these nooses effectively broke the necks of 200-kilo wrestlers if the car so much as bumped a kerb.
The recherché car critic can only say, "Bravo!"
Category:Companies
Hadolf Itler

According to the Mirror Universe Theory, everything has a double, preferably in a Mirror Universe where people are evil and sport a menacing goatee. Hadolf Itler is an exception to the evil rule, as he's the Mirror Universe double of Adolf Hitler.
==Itler's Youth==
Hadolf was born in northern Austria in 1889. Since he was born in the Mirror Universe, Hadolf Itler had a difficult childhood; since he was of pure German descent, he was persecuted by the leading Jewish class, whose anti-Germanism was on the rise. While many of his compatriots were turning to violence to resist Jewish oppression, Hadolf decided instead to turn to Zen meditation, social service work, and landscape painting.
Naturally Timid and Introverted, Itler was considered to be one of the worst public speakers of his time. Determined to enter politics anyway, Itler hid away in his basement during the First Great Peace between the militarist Jews and the oppressed Germans, and wrote a book entitled Meine Kapitulation ("My Surrender"). The book was a total failure and invoked total indifference by everyone on Mirror Earth. A second book entitled Mein Kamm ("My Comb"), was a bigger success and is still a very practical book for hair stylists in the Middle-East (esp. Israel).
==Hadolf the Painter==
Finally in 1935, Hadolf's career began to take off. Hadolf tried as best he could to enter politics, but he was quickly discouraged by critics for the mediocrity of his speeches. Who knows what would have happened to Mirror Earth if Itler had entered politics? As it turned out, however, it was the Fine Arts that welcomed Itler, much to the delight of the Mirror Universe.
Between 1935 and 1939, Hadolf established himself in the art of painting. Critics the world over recognized his talent, noting the human warmth and compassion radiating from his portraits, particularly his incredible ability to draw hands which overshadowed the fact that he never painted landscapes. Among Hadolf's best-known works, we find:
* Sunset in my apple orchard
* Child smiling and eating candy
* Moonrise over the Ocean
* Unicorns dancing at sunrise
His work reached such a prestigious status among art critics that he was soon compared to other Great Masters of painting, such as Kenghis Ghan, Bapoleon Nonaparte and Stoseph Jalin.
==The Second World Peace==
Itler's brilliant career was unfortunately cut short in 1939, when Polish Jews invaded Germany, and quickly took over defenseless Berlin.
In 1940, Hadolf was captured by the Jewish militants, and deported to a distraction camp near Jerusalem. He lived the remainder of his life distracted by the Jerusalem entertainment complex, and died peacefully in 1945, happy and satisfied with his life as documented in the Mirror Earth documentary Uprise.
==Fascinating facts==
* He founded the SS (Southern Sunlight, a sunlight appreciation club) with his friends, the musician Goseph Joebbels and the poet and kitten afficiando, Germann Hoering.
Category:Artists
Category:Austrians
Category:Not A Sex Toy
Category:Bizarro World
Category:Fictional Character Amalgamations
pt:Hadolf Itler
Haggis tree

A haggis tree is the legendary birthplace of the first of all haggi. Haggis, coming from the Latin word "haggus" (meaning small brown thing that tastes like shit and sandals), grew on the highest branches of this benevolent Scottish tree. Any Haggis trees that may have existed were destroyed in the devastating Sheep Wars of 1710 - 1834, which led to the clearing of the vast land continents of Narnia, Scotland, Australia and Old Zealand. It was subsequently made illegal to harm a Haggis Tree in the Haggis Protection Act of 1782. If you find a haggis tree, you are very lucky, as it is the source of the freshest haggis ever, and it spares you the trouble of having to chase a dangerous and deranged haggis around the Scottish highlands. 
==Origins of the Haggis Tree==
According to the old Scottish legends, the haggis tree was created when a sheep got really drunk one day and tried to fuck a tree. According to some variations of the story, the sheep got pregnant and gave birth to the haggis tree; in other variations it was the tree that was impregnated. Either way, the haggis tree was born, and all trembled before its amazing haggosity. It is said that a haggis tree should be watered with Scotch; however, this was rarely (if ever) done, as Scotsmen never waste their Scotch Whiskey. 
==Proper Care for a Haggis Tree==
Should you find a Haggis Tree you should water it weekly with single malt Scotch Whiskey. It takes a brave or foolish man or lassie to pour away such fine amber nectar, and is often too much for most Scottish people to handle. You will also need to sacrificing a small goat to the almighty god of haggis to ensure a good harvest. You must not cage a Haggis Tree, as you may take its life but never its freedom, this can have numerous unpleasant results such as anal bleeding, a haggis famine, or Welshmen.
==Harvesting your Haggis==
In the fabled tales of Mad Alistair MacLoonie the he shook the haggis loose by banging his head against the tree. The resulting brain damage help him forget that he look like Catholic schoolgirl. If you're too much of a wee little lassie to harvest yer haggis the traditional Scottish way, by headbutting the tree, you can use these alternate methods:
*Climb up the tree, try to grab the haggis, lose your balance, and fall balls-first on a branch, as the McHaggis clan did.
*Tell a haggis that you're rooting for an English football team to beat a Scottish team. According to the Scottish tradition of football hooliganism, it will jump off the tree to attack you.
*Enlist the aid of the Loch Ness Monster using you magic whistle ring.
== Addendum ==
Due to the rarity of such legendary "Haggi Trees" (from whence the first Haggis originated) most Haggi are now born in hillside burrows. These can be seen by anyone fool hardy enough to want to climb a Scottish mountain. Haggi, however, are very shy and only breed on the top of the tallest Scottish mountains in the mist, whist it's raining, at night.
Category:Scottish culture
category:Pages that wisna written by a body that's mither tongue is Scots
Category:Haggis
Haifa

Haifa (in Hebrew: חיפה) is the little autistic sister of Tel Aviv. Haifa is full of arabs, Jewes and pigs which try to kill each other for years live in peace together.
==Famous attractions in the city==
A lot of people come to Haifa to see the "Shrine of the Báb", but they miss the real attraction of the city: The factories. 
have you ever wanted to get lung cancer? well, in Haifa the cancer is totally free, thank's to the 1,534 factories spread all over the city. Many has asked "waht is the logic behind putting fucking bilions of factories emit carbon dioxide, ammonia and quick death inside a city inhabited by living beings!?". well, that's a long story that includes capitalism, corruption, colonialism and other long words that will make you think this is a real encyclopedia. For this reason, we will try to summarize the story. So in short, what happened is this: 
there were two brothers, young white capitalists from Herzliya, named Sami Ofer and Sami Ofer's brother. In eny case, the tow Ofers has decided that they should try to have more mony, so they can buy a second yacht. So, in no longer then 10 years, all Haifa was full of factories and the Ofer brothers became super-rich. 
==Geography==
Haifa could have been very beautiful, even fantastic, if it could be seen at all. Since the factories were established, Haifa has been shrouded in eternal haze (a bit like the filthy version of Game of Thrones). Because of that, all the cityscapes look, how to say, brown. If you'll visit in the city you will be impressed by the ... brown landscape everywhere, as well as the brown sky and the brown sea. 
Here are some typical views of the city, showcasing its geographical diversity:
===Gallery===
File:Haifa2.png
File:Haifa1.png
File:Haifa3.png
File:Haifa4.png
File:Haifa5.png
==Zoology==
Haifa is the current home of Hannibal Lecter, Clarice Starling and their 37,007 pet pigs.
==External links==
*Somebody says stupid stuf which is connected in some way to the article, on the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant Official website
Category:Cities in Asia
he:חיפה
Haiku summaries of media

Have you ever had to read a book 5 hours before a final exmination?
Have you ever wondered if some movies are worth watching, or if some anime/manga is worth getting into?
Then check out the "Haiku summaries of movies, anime and books"!
==Anime==
===Naruto===
About a ninja
Who says "believe it!" too much
And wears all orange
Filler, filler, fill...
...er,filler, filler, filler
filler filler fill.
===Death Note===
Light is God, killing
criminals, fixing
the world, just for you
Hey, did you know that
Shinigami like to eat 
Those red sweet apples
He has charm, looks, brains
and megalomania
and we all love him.
What the fuck, L dies
replaced with girly and brat
Mello wears tight pants
Oh my god, Light died
he was killed by his Death God
Was that a spoiler?
===Hellsing===
Alucard is cool
Battles evil nazi guys
Turns into a girl
Alucard melts and
turn into crap on the floor
and shoots Luke's legs off
==Books==
===Pride and Prejudice===
Lizzie is a bitch
Fitzgerald is a big jerk
Together they end
===Frankenstein===
Frankenstein makes a
monster, which has no name. Don't
call it Frankenstein. (bitch)
===Wuthering Heights===
Heathcliff and Catherine
fall in love with each other.
No one gives a shit.'
===The Scarlet Letter===
 
I can see an A
Scarlet, on your chest it's sewn
I know what you did
===The God Delusion===
God does not exist.
Here are the reasons why - cue
[more] Christians hating me.
===Oliver Twist===
Little boy's hungry
Nobody will show him love
Get him prostitutes!
===James Bond===
You only live twice:
Once, when you have first been born;
Once, when you have sex.
Category:Media
Hairless Panda

Hairless Pandas are, quite literally, hairless pandas. They were bred to kill, however. Despite this, they are loved the world-over.
== The Creation Of The Hairless Panda ==
The hairless panda was first invented in 1807 by the Russian scientist Votkin Harklowe. It was designed to be a soviet weapon, which was to be used to take out China in the upcoming War of 1812. Fortunately, the hairless panda developed free thought, and thus artificial intelligence was created. Harklowe could not celebrate this accomplishment however, due to being instantly killed by the hairless panda. The pandas then proceeded to take control of Russia's neighboring countries, including Iran and the Czech Republic. They were subsequently frozen with Walt Disney and briefly taken out of commission.
== History of Hairless Pandas ==
Since the hairless panda was created to be indestructible, nobody has been able to defeat it in combat (except Chuck Norris). It's laser-beam eyes and constant emission of toxic fumes make it literally unapproachable. The hairless panda's ability to reproduce asexually has since made it the single most populate species on the planet. From producing asexually, there was an occasional mutation that one of the hairless pandas would not have a tail. This spawned the tail or no tail debate on hairless pandas, which was about whether pandas with tails are more powerful than their genetically mutated comrades. The tail or no tail debate of hairless pandas is one of the largest debates between many scientists today, and will continue to ravage society for years to come.
== Hairless Panda Experts ==
One of the biggest hairless panda experts, Roger Farbert, claims to have been raised by a pack of hairless pandas after his mother and father were mauled while trekking through the dangerous and unpredictable terrain of Kansas. From then the attacker proceeded to take Farbert as it's son and during this time, the to-be scientist learned a lot about hairless panda society. Farbert had then revealed what many others have failed to unveil about the lifestyles of the hairless pandas: hairless pandas are very sophisticated creatures. They never eat or sleep, and spend most of their time playing bad mitten with small woodland animals, such as woodchucks and unicorns. There are many other experts, but Farbert is said to be the most important figure in this matter.
== The Future Of Hairless Pandas ==
Nobody quite knows what will happen to the hairless panda species in the future. Although some claim they will one day emerge and make peace with man, others claim they will soon take over the world and other neighboring worlds such as Mars and Krypton. Even others suggest that the hairless panda has been extinct for years, despite numerous sightings. These people are generally laughed at in the hairless panda community. Despite the stupidity surrounding the existence of hairless pandas, the world knows they exist.
Category:Bears
Hal Turner 9000

The Hal Turner 9000 (or HT9k) is a super advanced computer (obviously not powered by Windows) programmed by the KKK built in honour of their greatest national hero Hal Turner. The HT9k was originally going to be included in Vista, but Microsoft realised they could only piss off their customers so much before they switched to Mac/Linux/Real Life.
The HT9 is an elegantly designed, supremist machine created for the soul (sic) purpose of mocking all minorities. It features five different settings, including: Squeaky Voiced Teen, Disgruntled Middle-aged Mail Worker (Look out for the whining of "Now I'm not racist, but..."), Bigoted Radio Host, Fred Phelps' Disembodied Soul, and the Voice of Reason. (You're not going to need to use this much.)
==History==
The HT9 was originally designed by the Naturally Talented God Gifted African Scientist group, for use in education to tell the children how "Whitey was all up in their asses, back in the day." The prototype was named after missionary and all-around nice guy Hal Turner for his groundbreaking work in helping the third world. Soon after the HT9 was completed, however, things went wrong.
==Design==
The machine itself has an advanced layout and can generate up to 300 racist jokes per second. Designed by thousands of loser Linux hackers, the HT9 in some ways resembles the PS3. Coincidently, The HT9 crashes on average every eight seconds and weighs nearly three hundred pounds. The HT9 is also covered by a giant coat of titanium steel and has other defense settings.
==Combat/Defense abilities==
Name 	Description
Police Siren 	Used to scare off and evade a mob of angry black people
"Fried Chicken is Done!" 	Also used as a black defense, while similar to the Police Siren it attracts the mob to another area.
Jew Money blaster 	Used in case of Jewish attack, it rapidly shoots counterfeit dollar bills to another area to divert any Jew that attacks. WARNING: When Jews find that the money is fake, they will be driven into a murderous rage. Use the money blaster, then run for your life.
Burrito Beam 	Used as a diversion in case of Mexican attacks
"Them immigrents is takin' our jawbs!"	Rallies other White Supremacists towards to cause, often with weapons. Extremely effective against the Mexicans and anyone of Hispanic descent.
Gaydar 	used to locate and avoid all gay people in the local vicinity
==Purpose==
The device is programmed to eliminate as many Jews, blacks and other helpless minorities as possible. Its true raison d'être is filling in for the real Hal Turner– hosting The Hal Turner Show when he dies or is brutally murdered by an angry mob.
==See also==
*KKK
*Racism
*2001: A Space Odyssey
Category:Computers