Headmaster at the CIA (Cock Inspection Agency)

What I'm about to reveal to you is TOP SECRET SPECIAL CONTROLLED INFORMATION (ts/Sci) and should not be overlooked as I wish for the public to have a bit more knowledge on what we really do in the CIA aka, Cock Inspection Agency.
I have worked hard for the past 69 years to develop the highest tech cameras to put into men's urinals. In the near future we hope to be able to install our software in the background systems of every phone produced for even more cock data. We video tape every cock for inspection and data logging. We track even the most elusive enemy spies via their cocks. One singular cock has at least 600 data points and is as unique as a fingerprint. We have even started a new security protocol for agents to scan into work. We ditched ID badges as those can be spoofed in favor of cock inspection stations. Before you get into work you have to pass a 84 part cock inspection. Back on track now! Anytime men (or women) use a restroom with an "automatic" flushing toilet we record and analyze the cock. The data is then stored in our BALLS (ballistic antimatter lenticular ligma storage) system. We have developed software that uses the PENIS algorithm (predictive erection neuron Intelligence sizing) to determine volume, length circumference volume sperm count marital status race blood type which hand you jerk off with foreskin flavor the percentage chance of you getting laid urethra width and length as well as credit score.
Through years of personal and professional cock inspecting I have acquired quite a a lot of cock inspection experience. I plan to continue to oversee this programs development personally and constantly spend my free time inspecting as many cocks as possible to collect the maximum amount of data. (I pose as a local bishop at my catholic church to ensure I get a diverse range of cocks to inspect.)
We even have guest speakers at HQ sometimes! A few years ago we had Jared from subway! He really knew what he was talking about, I learned a few things from him. Most recently we had Mr. J. Epstein, he didn't have much cock experience but he provided us with strategies to avoid getting into trouble if R.P.I.N.G (rapid penis Inspection no girls). to tell us what to look for in good cocks to improve our algorithms and inspection criteria.
I must say the job is extremely rewarding as I constantly receive many loads of data. The job is highly rewarding and I can't get enough most days! Overall I would recommend this career to anyone who enjoys working Hard and Long days and has a good eye for cocks. We have stopped several drug rings with the programs we have in place. We tracked their cocks from varies ports in other countries (you don't really think that you're safe from my cock inspection agency overseas do you?) and watched for their cocks to reappear here. Based, on our data we can predict when someone will be able to impregnate their spouses. The cocks take on a certain... Shape and sheen. I get firm with delight knowing someone's about to get Premium Cock!
I got off track there, but point being! Apply to the CIA today and ask for me specifically if you want into my division. My name is Dr. Harry Dick Johnson Jr.
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