Garfield.Exe Lost Episode; Welcome to the Shadows, Jon 2. Hell Edition.

I'm a total Garfield fan, much like everyone else, I like the newer Garfields, but I don't mind playing the classics. I don't think I've ever played glitchy or hacked Garfields before, though I don't think I want to play any after the experience I had... 
I have no friends at all, not even one. My only friend is my Garfield OC, CokieBadGirl669. I love my OC, I even have a fursuit designed after her. My life had been terrible ever since I was fired from my job as an intern at 20th Century Fox. I was fired for trying to make a sex scene between Garfield and Prince (the other Garfield.) My life is sad :(
But one day my life went from bad to badder when I decided to go to my local GameStop to buy Garfield: lasagna world tour for the ps2. It was and still is my favorite game ever made. I even advocate for Garfield to be added as a DLC for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. I sure do love Garfield. Anyways, when I got there I saw all of the new games that probably sucked ass. Anyway, I asked the employee if they had Garfield: lasagna world tour in stock. They looked at me, deviously.
"I know a game you would like," he said sinisterly. "It's called Garfield.Exe Lost Episode; Welcome to the Shadows, Jon 2. Hell Edition." I had never heard of this game before, so I had to ask him things.
"Where did you get it?" I asked.
"From Jim Davis's wife after I slept with her," he responded.
"What is it about?" I asked.
"Garfield," he said.
I've had enough of his shit and stole the game from him. It was free so I didn't need to buy it. Before I could leave another employee stopped me.
"DON'T BUY THAT GAME!" he screamed, "IT WILL DESTROY YOU PSYCHOLOGICALLY. MY HUSBAND DIED WHEN HE GOT THE GAME, IT WAS GARFIELD I TELL YOU. IT WAS HIM! DESTROY THE GAME, DO IT NOW. OR YOUR NEXT"
I thought it was a glitch and moved on. I excitedly put the game into my Ps2 and started playing. BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER. When I booted up the game my good buddy old pal Garfield greeted me. I screamed. I was so excited to see him, I had a spastic seizure on the floor. It was fairly normal-looking, it just looked like a professionally made masterpiece. But when I pressed the circle button, the title screen changed for a nanosecond. Odie was hanging from a chandelier with HYPER-REALISTIC BLOOD dripping from his eyes and mouth, Nermal's eyes were hanging from his sockets, Jon was no longer on the screen and Garfield... oh Garfield. He was EVIL! He had blue eyes with small purple pupils. The music changed to the amber alert noise for that second, but it was reversed, 8-bit, and had hardcore hentai playing in the background. I assumed it was a glitch and moved on. BIG MISTAKE.
Note: I was scared of the screen at first... until I saw what happened to Nermal and laughed. I HATE THAT STUPID PUSSY BITCH I HOPE HIM AND HIS BLOODLINE DIES. GO TO ABU DHABI YOU STUPID FUCK GO DIE.
Anyways... I was mostly scared, but I still played on. At that moment I got an email from my mom, but it was not my mom... it was Garfield. It showed a HYPER-REALISTIC picture of my parents dead with evil Garfield standing on top of them triumphantly. I called my mom just in case the picture was real... and it was. I heard Garfield breathing sexually. Not gonna lie, my dick got pretty hard at that moment... until Garfield exclaimed "YOUR NEXT," then my dick retracted into my body. But right at that moment, I heard something from the TV.
"Gaylord," it said evilly. "It's time to play."
"How did it know my name?" I thought. I did what the machine told me and started playing. HOLY SHIT WAS THAT AN OOPSIE MISTAKE. The screen cut to the color of the American dollar and then started playing lavender town but it was reversed and I thought I could hear Caillou in the background. It was weird but arousing. I must be the reason behind the amber alert theme song. Anyways, Garfield was being a bit spooky, but I was still into him. But then, out of the blue, my OC CokieBadGirl669 appeared. My dick detached from my body, grew legs, then started to run to the TV. Good thing I had a leash attached to it, or it may have escaped. CokieBadGirl looked at me with her fuck-me eyes and said...
"How's it going Gaylord Johnson, it's me, your best friend... CokieBadGirl666!
"Holy shit!" I thought, "I named her CokieBadGirl669, not 666." SHE MUST BE SATAN!" 
"You're not CokieBadGirl," I said.
"Then who am I?" she asked.
"YOU ARE NERMAL YOU CUCK!" I exclaimed. I said this because Nermal and Satan are the same things, to be honest. 
"Oh, you knew..." they said ominously, "Time to die anyway!" The screen flashed every color at once and then paused at a picture of Will Smith voring CokieBadGirl669. I was very aroused by this picture, but I was determined to defeat evil Garfield Zedong. Wait... Zedong? When did Chairman Mao get into my le epic video game?
By the way, Garfield stabbed Nermal to death, which I was happy about.
"Kill the sparrows," he said. 
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" I screamed. I had Maophobia, so I'm afraid of killing sparrows for my glorious leader. The screen then cut to green and started play some earthbound songs or some shit. But then, the true villian of this scary creepypasta arose... HILLARY CLINTON'S CEVERED HEAD. That cucked bitch was so salty about losing the 2040 Sudanesse election, that she became the the puppet master behind my super scary story. Wait, this isn't a story. THIS ACTUALLY FCUKIG HAPPENED.
"You monster!" I screamed. She replied with silence. As the screen zoomed in on a still Jpeg of Hillary Clinton, my mom came in.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING AT HILLARY CLINTON IMAGES?!"
"NO MOM I SWEAR I VOTED FOR GOKU I SWEAR." I was then beaten for twenty minutes. Random always = funny. After my ass became red, the screen cut to blue and static started to appear. I was glad that it was over, except it wasn't. Hillary Clinton appeared on the TV again and sucked me into the game!
"Are you ready to have a great anime battle?" Said the giant Clinton head. Mao Zedong was angry that he wasn't getting any screen time so he became my personal pokemon. Wait, this story needs more Garfield away, so he tried to kill them both!!!111!1 
[Anime Battle Commence]
Hillary Clinton regurgitated some hentai tentacles to fight for her, Garfield grew 39 arms, and Mao fired sparrows out of his ass. 
Hillary Clinton's tentacles tried swatting away all of the sparrows but were overwhelmed by Mao's ass sparrows. 
But there was one problem that caused the end of this battle early, Garfield. Due to him having god powers.exe, he could kill both of them with the snap of his fingers. Garfield then proceeded to turn me into a woman.
I woke up 3 years later with a vagina, my family dead, and an evil Garfield plushie on my bed. I looked at my mirror. Something was written in cum on it.
YOUR NEXT
I immediately pointed out the grammar MISTAKE and I saw the plushie moved. I was very turned on that my Garfield plush was alive, so I grabbed my fursuit and started to fuck the plushie. Who knew my way to fuck Garfield would be to fix his grammar?
Then I died or something. Whoopsie daisy I guess. Anyways, there is one phrase I will remember my entire time in purgatory...
YOUR NEXT 
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Vidya games
Category:LONG ASS TITLE
Category:Loads of Characters
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:BATTELS
Category:Im died
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:TRUE STORY
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Crappy ms paint drawings