Word crawl/Git 'Er Done Crawl

Kickoff part 1: Yeah, I see all that blank space that needs to be filled too. I also see that clock and how it seems to be ticking too quickly for you to have time to write. You're wrong, by the way. There's totally time to write, I'll show you. Five minutes, that's all I'm asking for. 5 minute sprint to warm up. See, this won't be hard!
Kickoff part 2: Remember how I said we're getting things done that you're procrastinating on? No? Well, that sucks. I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say you've been sitting, laying, or floating a foot or three above the ground while chanting in a dead language for a little while, so get up, ya' lazy butt. Move around for a few minutes (Time varies by what you're doing). Walk the dog, water the plants, throw rocks at those crazy kids to get them off your lawn. Do what you want, what you want with your body, but do it for a little while. Movement is good for your brain, and it helps keep writer's block at bay. I think there's studies on that somewhere.
Clean Up Yer' Act part 1: Already you could use a little shine up. Maybe moving wasn't actually the best idea. Polish up that word count so it's pretty, at least. Get to the nearest multiple of 500. Like sprints to the thousands, but half that. See, I'm nice!
Clean up Yer' Act part 2: Okay, okay, I see where you're living, and you know what? That could use a little elbow grease too. Clean something small around your living area. Put your clothes away. Wash the dishes if there's "only like seven" there. Make your bed if you haven't. No, I'm not your mom, and I can't force you to. Yes, you should anyways.
Water Break part 1: Thirsty for more words after forced optional work? So am I. For every cup, bowl, bottle, or other thing that can hold stuff to drink in the room you're in, write 100 words. Okay, if you're writing in the kitchen, you're weird, but I'll give you a break if you only write 300 or whatever. And if you don't have anything that can hold drinking water, that's bad and you need to write 200 words for this bad habit. Keep yourselves hydrated, folks!
Water Break part 2: Speaking of keeping hydrated, get yourself some of your preferred writing liquid. Coffee, tea, water, rum, molten lava, whatever, just get up and grab some. It's healthy and helps your brain continue to do the brain thing (though molten lava may not be the best choice if you plan to stay alive very long, as a human).
Half Time part 1: Woo-oah! We're half way there! Yeah, you're welcome for getting that song stuck in your head. Did you know that in a half time show, marching band members are working our butts off for your enjoyment? There's a lot of effort expended in marching, and it's a killer sport. If you watch the half time performance, good on you, write 250 words for giving us the time of day and seeing all the work we're doing. If you don't watch the half time performance, I'm not saying shame on you, but shame on you. That's a lot of work we're doing for your happiness. Write 500 words and maybe watch us once or twice. We're usually pretty good. If you don't watch football, decide whether you'd watch awesome people marching and playing or not and then write those words. (Sorry this one is so biased but I'm in band, and am quite biased towards music. Really, I'm sorry.
Half Time part 2: Yo, marching is seriously work, but it's a team effort too. I demand you have some short social interaction with another human being. If it's two in the morning and you don't know anyone to interact with, then... Go on Omegle? Find some way to involve a living thing other than yourself in your life for a few minutes.
Fight Song part 1: Time to get back in the game! And dude, the band is awesome. In fact, you should do a quick song sprint, writing for the duration of any chosen song. I recommend something with a driving beat to help you move forward.
Fight Song part 2: That song was good, but I bet you can do one better. Pick a song and dance or move around for the duration of the song. A complete song and dance routine isn't out of the question, and I won't blame you if you do. Dance like nobody's watching!
Run Out the Clock part 1: It's the final countdown (Yeah, and you just got Living on a Prayer out of your head. I could be worse. I could be making you think of Barbie Girl). I know you're beginning to get tired. It's okay. You see that clock? Write until the minute ends in zero (:X0) (:00, :10, :20, etc) from where you are right now. Don't worry, that's only up to a ten minute sprint.
Run Out the Clock part 2: Hey, you just wrote to a zero, how about you ditz around until the next :X0. Whatever you want. Lay down. Talk to the wall. Tweet how much you lovehate your novel. Treat yo'self.
After-Party part 1: Not much writing left now! Look at that word count. Now, add all the digits together, plop a 0 at the end, and write that many words. (Ex. Suzy has 3,702 words in her novel. 3+7+0+2 is 12, so she writes 120 words. Sam, on the other hand, has 9,999 words. They've got to write 360 words.) You can do it!
After-Party part 2: Look at you, written so many words and done good stuff! Dance around! Eat a doughnut! Squeeze that stress ball! Enjoy yourself for a while, you're done!