Wario.png

My name's Jimmy. I guess you could call me the world's biggest Wario fan. I've always liked Wario more than Mario. Mario was always trying to rescue the Princess in hopes that she would one day go out with him or something, but it was clear that her heart belonged to Bowser. Wario on the other hand loves money, and growing up it was a reassuring feeling knowing Wario would never let anything get between him and his one true love.
Anyhow, this horror show all started one cold and bitter winter day. I was cooped up in my mom's attic playing Wario games all day. Not because it was cold outside, but because my mom locked me in the attic "for my own good". I started to get bored of playing Wario Land 4 for the Gameboy Advance™ for the hundredth time and was craving an edgier Wario experience. 
I started browsing online to see if there were any good Wario fangames, but nothing. Nintendo had taken them all down. Just when I was about to give up hope I heard a notification sound from Discord. Someone named "Garlic" had sent me a DM with a .zip file titled "DONOTOPEN.zip" I asked the mysterious user what they had sent me and the only response I got back was a "wah". Curiosity got the better of me and I downloaded the zip file.
Upon opening it, I noticed only a single file titled "Wario.png". Given that I am such a massive Wario fanatic, I was ecstatic to say the least. My eyes filled with excitement as I extracted the image and prepared to open it. I was so eager to feast my eyes upon Wario's infinite sexiness, that I could have never predicted what came next.
The image that appeared depicted a gruesome scene of multiple tornadoes wreaking havoc upon the entire mushroom kingdom. Mario and his friends were clinging on for dear life as they attempted to survive, but the outcome was obvious. Everyone and everything would be annihilated. But the part that disturbed me most was the source of the tornadoes: Wario. It was just like Kirby's inhalation ability, only everything was getting sucked into Wario's butt crack instead of his mouth. Mortified, I attempted to shut my computer off, but as I did so the image only became more vivid and HYPERREALISTIC. 
I couldn't take it anymore, so I chucked my computer out the window. I thought the nightmare was finally over, until the stench of GARLIC suddenly filled my room. No... it can't be. I checked my phone and saw a new message from "Garlic". It said "wah. check behind you rn :)" I have never felt my skin crawl more than the moment I turned around to see the lardacious, jolly man standing behind me.
"WAAAAAH! What's up my garlic? It's-a your boy Wario here." He said in a coarse, albeit sexy smooth, voice.
Consumed by fear, I had no other choice than to fall prostate and beg the greedy glutton for my life.
"Wario, please. Spare me! I'm your biggest fan, I've played all your games!" I begged him.
"WAHAHAHA!! SORRY KID, but Wario don't-a-like suck ups. I wasn't-a planning on killing you, but now, you-a-gonna-die."
I bolted for the door but it was still locked since my mom wanted to keep me in the attic. As I turned around I saw Wario's cheeks tighten and could feel a wind current start to form. The stench of garlic became so strong that my nose bled HYPERREALISTIC blood and stopped working. 
Suddenly- no, NO! The vortex emanating from his butt is aimed at me point blank. Can't hold on much longer, tell everybody, eberyveody, evairyuaeooduihgouhfsgouhOUHAOUHOUHFAOFGAOHIHOIHOIUH!O
WAHHAHAHAHA!! THAT WAS-A-AWESOME!! WARIO COULD SURE USE SOME TACO BELL RIGHT NOW. REMEMBER LOSERS, DON'T-A-DOWNLOAD FILES FROM-A-STRANGERS, OR ELSE WARIO WILL SUCK YOU INTO HIS-A-BUTT! WAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Vidya games
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:File Extensions
Category:Im died