The Misadventures of Shura (A prequel to The Slipknot Xbox 360 Game)

Hello, my name is Shura. I am from Suwa, Japan. I am a Dual Wielding Samurai, and I am trying to get Soul Edge from Nightmare in my own hands, 
on my spare time I hunt demons with my twin Katana's named Raijin-Maru and Fujin-Maru. Somehow, I feel a bit different when I hunt demons. 
Like, I feel a bit, well...... Stronger, I feel something or someone trying to take over my body when I finally kill the demons. 
When I finally get home after a long day of hunting demons, trying to find Nightmare, Soul Edge's Wielder. I am trying to get Soul Edge for myself for reasons I don't want to talk about for well.... personal reasons.
I finally have some peace and quiet for a few days until the threat of the Spirit Sword Soul Calibur is out there. What most people don't know about me, since I am a samurai of course, is that for some reason I have a secret passage way to modern times inside an unused cellar I didn't know was there until I bought the dojo.
When I went in the secret passage way under my dojo, the portal closed behind me. I then entered modern times. The area is now filled with people with modern outfits. They had hoodies, blue jeans, jackets, rain coats, and other clothing items. 
For some reason there is an apartment complex right next to a large graveyard. I saw a very bright light coming from one of the apartments. It illuminated the whole room. Like a god-like being was entering the room. 
I saw a back entrance in a back alleyway. I then snuck carefully into the back alleyway. I heard something behind me. When I looked behind me, nothing was there. 
I walked slowly inside the complex. I heard a faint noise that sounded like someone was running after me. I looked back and there was some woman at the back door with huge tanned thighs, a mechanical head, and most of all, a huge rack. She came up to me, and I realized she was a character that I recognized immediately. A certain android woman named Haydee from the Steam game of the same name. She then walked up to me.
Haydee said "what are you doing in here miss? What's your name?" I then introduced myself as Shura from the Soul Calibur series. Haydee replied with "Shura, I don't know what you are doing in our complex but, you look like you are from a different time period. What caused you to barge in here like that?" 
Our conversation was interrupted by none other than Count Von Count from Sesame Street. I heard Count Von Count say in the alleyway very loudly. "YOU KNOW THAT I AM CALLED THE COUNT.... BECAUSE I REALLY LOVE TO FUCK.... SOMETIMES I SIT AND FUCK ALL DAY! BUT. SOMETIMES I GET CARRIED AWAY.... I FUCK SLOWLY SLOWLY.... SLOWLY GETTING FASTER. ONCE I START FUCKING IT'S VERY HARD TO STOP...." 
Count Von Count then stopped singing and he saw us from the back alleyway, he ran up to the front door. And bashed it open. He said to me and Haydee. "AH, AH, AH, ONE SEXY CHICK! AH, AH, AH, TWO SEXY CHICKS! AH, AH, AH," 
luckily, I had my twin katana's Raijin-Maru and Fujin-Maru with me. I then charged at him with full force. And slashed his head off with my Katana's. I then said to Haydee, "What was up with him?" Haydee then said in response "Count Von Count was one of the two neighborhood perverts in our area, he was a disgusting, perverted, and downright offensive puppet. He stalked every one of the female citizens in this town. Until you showed up and killed him that is"
after what Haydee said, I remembered the conversation we had when I first snuck in the door. I told her "I came here through a portal from my dojo in Suwa, Japan. I said that the portal closed behind me when I entered it." Haydee responded with, "well. For now, since you don't have a way to get back home. I will get you your own apartment here in Haydee's Complex" I said to Haydee "thank you for your kind gesture, Haydee" 
Haydee said "You're welcome Shura" Haydee then gave me a key to my apartment which had my name on it. Haydee said that my Apartment number is "244" I then entered the apartment that I was given by Haydee. And it looked amazing.
The apartment looked beautiful. Like it was made from the heavens. I then realized. That the apartment I am living at is the apartment I saw outside. I then heard two people talking to each other in the hallway of the apartment complex. When I looked in the peephole to see who they were.
It was a female demon with red skin, horns, and lingerie. It was the character Demoness from Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3. the other person who Demoness was talking to was a character named Devil Man from the anime series Devil Man. (the 1970's version) Demoness spoke is a seductive and sexy tone "Devil man.... I think we should introduce ourselves to Shura.
"Devil Man said in response to Demoness. "I think we should Demoness. I have been through a lot. My girlfriend keeps getting attacked by my former devil clan. I learned that family and friends matter the most when you need them. Love and care for your family members when they need help."
Suddenly, Demoness said in her seductive tone in horror. "OH... MY..... GOD....." I then opened the door. And what I saw was. Well... uh... terrifying... 
a very tall bald man with a dark black coat, bat-like ears, and pitch-dark eye sockets dancing like the smiling man from that creepypasta of the same name walking towards Demoness and Devil Man.
He was singing in a low vampiric-like voice. The song he was singing was "Every Breath You Take by The Police" and every step the tall bald vampiric man took he sung the song deeper and more demonic.
Suddenly as the tall vampiric man got very close to Demoness and Devil Man. I saw someone right behind the tall vampiric man. It was the British rock singer Ozzy Osbourne the former singer of Black Sabbath. And later his own band, suddenly.
Ozzy got a stake from his pocket and stabbed it in the tall vampiric man's chest. Ozzy then yelled when he stabbed the tall vampiric man in the chest with the stake. "ALL ABOARD!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Ozzy said when he saw us "I'm glad I fucking took care of him, you guys ok?"
"Me, Devil Man, and Demoness said in response to Ozzy, "Yes, Ozzy we are ok. How did you know he was here?" Ozzy then revealed. "When I don't perform shows or concerts, I am a part time vampire hunter. But when the fucking vampires turn out to be very bad people. I hunt and kill them."
Devil Man then said to Ozzy, "I am glad you are destroying the bad one's at least. Because most if not all vampire hunters eliminate both the good and evil ones. They don't even look up any information on if they were good or not which is a shame, but you are an exception and I approve of that. You are changing vampire hunters as a whole for the better" Ozzy then replied by saying, "thank you for your kindness, Devil Man. I fucking needed that."
then the lights in the apartment went dark. Me, Ozzy, Devil Man, and Demoness saw a silhouette in the end of the hallway. It was some sort of female being. She had a huge rack, skimpy medieval styled armor, a circlet on her head, and eyes that had glowing white pupils in the darkness. It was a character from a series that I don't want to talk about for obvious reasons. Due to well... it's nature. But her name was Cerene. 
She then approached Devil Man and Cerene said "well well, look what we have got here. A handsome Devil Man here. Let's go back to my castle to well do things that you might like."
Devil Man then said in response "No, I'd rather not. Because I have a girlfriend back at home. And I don't want to cheat on her with a woman like you who seduces men just for the pleasure of the viewers of your series!" 
it then played an infamous meme sound clip of a certain ex-YouTube celebrity by the name of Supa Hot Fire where Supa Hot Fire's crew was shocked when he roasted his rap battle opponent with Supa Hot Fire's girlfriends' wrong number. And they yelled out "OOOOHHHHHH!!!! YOOOOO! DUDE!!!!" 
then Cerene ran out of the apartment complex out of anger. the lights then turned back on in the complex. And me, Demoness, Devil Man, and Ozzy were at a loss for words at what we just witnessed. Ozzy then said in disgust. "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS THAT?!"
Demoness then said in response to Ozzy in her seductive tone. "Ozzy.. I don't even know what that was either." me, Ozzy, Devil Man, and Demoness walked over to the tall vampiric man's corpse, Ozzy then inspected his corpse. 
And Ozzy revealed that the tall vampiric man was actually "Count Orlok" which people mistakenly call Count Orlok "Nosferatu" after the movie's title. (Which was really good information that we learned from Ozzy)
Ozzy also revealed that he is the Security guard for "Haydee's Complex" (which is ironic since he barged in here and killed Count Orlok with the stake I might add.)
Haydee then came back and she was wondering what just happened. (Since the lights in the apartment complex went out) Me, Devil Man, Ozzy, and Demoness told Haydee what just happened with Cerene. Haydee was shocked at what we told her. Because Haydee swore, she saw someone come out of a casket in the graveyard that is near "Haydee's Complex" Haydee then said "the person that came out of the casket looked like a woman with a huge rack, a circlet on her head, and I saw her come into my Complex." 
Devil Man then stopped Haydee and he said "wait, wait, Haydee. you mean Cerene? She was in here earlier trying to seduce me." Haydee then replied with "Oh yeah Devil Man, you are right. You told me a couple of minutes ago." we all realized that the graveyard might actually be cursed. We waited until it got very dark outside. We then saw a red light coming from the graveyard. We then gathered and we had a plan. We planned to attack whatever comes out of the graveyard. there might be undead spirits coming to get us, including zombies, skeletons, vampires, and werewolves.
We then went up to the building where all of the caskets are located. We saw that as we were walking up to the building, the red light brightened even more. And the only creatures that came out of the building were skeletons. They suddenly attacked us, causing us to charge at them. Suddenly, Haydee shot out an energy blast from her chest causing the skeletons to go flying. there were skeleton parts crushed, skulls broken, and ribcages destroyed. We congratulated Haydee. But we heard some little girl crying in the tomb. 
When we entered the tomb, we saw that there was a little girl with a human head, a skeleton body, and a black dress. I recognized who the character was. And it was very heartbreaking... it was the character "Candice The Ghost" from Seether and Infected Mushroom's album cover. I noticed that she was crying very hard... when I came up to her. Shockingly she gave me a hug. It was the sweetest but saddest thing.
I asked her what was wrong. She said that her parents were very sweet to her back when she was still alive. She had an amazing childhood until a little boy came up to her and tricked her into becoming an undead spirit wandering the earth for a parent or a guardian to adopt. But no one wanted to adopt her. Every time someone would see her, they would scream, run away, or even worse. They would try to attack her. I then asked her if she wanted to come with us to get out of the tomb before the red light kills us. She said yes.
I picked her up and held her in my arms. We then ran as fast as we could out the tomb. Luckily, we made it out alive. The tomb was swallowed up by the red light. We saw that the graveyard disappeared leaving nothing but a grassy field in its place. Ozzy, Devil Man, Demoness, and Haydee said that they had to part ways for tonight.
We said our goodbyes and I took Candice in my apartment. I actually discovered that the apartment was already furnished. But what I didn't know is that it had a guest bed. I then noticed that Candice fell asleep in my arms. 
I decided to tuck her in the guest bed for the night. And I finally got peace and quiet for the night. 5 months past, and everything looked brand new in our town. Even "Haydee's Complex" where the lights don't turn off suddenly anymore. I decided it would be a good thing to adopt Candice because she had been through a lot.
Speaking of Devil Man, I saw him on my television running for mayor of our town. Devil Man revealed his real name as Akira Fudo. his opponent in the mayor election was actually someone I didn't even expect. It was Ultra Instinct Shaggy. the mayor race was a close one. Ultra Instinct Shaggy actually won the race. And Devil Man (A.K.A. Akira Fudo) actually shook hands with Shaggy. Devil Man congratulated Shaggy for his win. Everyone cheered for both Shaggy and Devil Man. the coolest part, is that Demoness, Ozzy, Haydee, and a couple others like Franklin Clinton, Carl Johnson, and Ryder from Grand Theft Auto were there too.
Candice then came up to me and she said "thank you so much for adopting me! Shura, you are the best." I said you're welcome. and we then played with our video games together as a mother and daughter should.
"Family Is Not An
Important Thing.
It's everything"
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Vidya games
Category:Loads of Characters