nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
The tale of a slightly insane retard

Greetings and good day, fine ladies and gentlemen, today I shall come before you to recount my unfortunate misadventures, after finding a hidden stash of gilden whistles. My troubles first bloomed when I had found a video-carrying device so cleverly labeled, "Under any circumstances, shall you never activate or observe this, ol' chap". I took the cryptic warning to heart, but furthermore, I was more interested in the video-carrying device. I departed from my location, and returned to my humble abode, where I planted the video-carrying device into my TheatreTrainstation 3 and activated the videogram. Suddenly, the screen of my videogram processor suddenly went pitch black, I got annoyed by this, so I went outside. I had noticed my love interest strolling down the ol' foot pavement, so I decided to pursue her. We embraced for a moment, however, we were interrupted by my cellular. As I was about to answer this mysterious caller, a hyper realistic voice boomed out from my cellular device. "If you lay another hand on my daughter, I shall hunt you down and slaughter you!" I asked my love interest for a little insight on the current situation, however, she told me that her father was deceased. So I fired a raygun through the cellular and annihilated this mystery caller. I pondered how I was going to return to my residence, so I called out for a carriage, and when it drew near, the licence was branded with the words, "INDIFFERENT" with playing dice strung over the mirror. If I could remark, I would comment the stench seemed queer, however I disregarded that thought, and exclaimed, "Tally ho, to Bel Air." However, when I opened the side entrance, a gilden whistle popped out and executed me. I truly wish I could show the audience what the whistle looked like, nevertheless, the whistle transformed into a trumpet and scurried off.
==EPILOGUE==
Yisterday, I bot a trumpit off of ebiy for 45 dolars. Wen it arrived at my howz, it wuz a gold trumpit, which wuz werd cuz trumpetz r yooshally sulvir.
Category:Hyper-realistic
Category:WHO WAS PHONE?
Category:Wall of Text
Category:TPOTM
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Shortpasta
The tale of the rejected doctor

Once upon at time, there was a ugly boy. People made fun of his name, which was matt smith. Later, when ha was about 30 years old, he stared in a TV series called doctor who. He was so ugly someone else had to take his role. He was mad so he killed all the cast and to-be cast. Then he wanted more. so he killed a little boy, no more that two, and get this-he liked it. So if you are a fan of doctor who, and haven't heard the latest news, your going to die. Well, be murdered. So beware, if you ever see a ugly man in the blood-stained doctor who costume, tell him negative things about the cast other that him, and say good things about him when he had the role. Then he might let you live. But on one condition-you be his sidekick and help him murder innocent doctor who fans. Otherwise, you'll be dead by morning. Or in a few seconds. It all depends on how he will decide to kill you.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Wall of Text
Category:Shortpasta
The terrible accident

I was driving down a quiet road. The road hadn't seen much action in years. It was in the middle of the woods. After nearly an hour of trees and dirt road, and seeing no other vehicles, signs of life, or even animals, the road gradually turned to concrete, and soon I started seeing houses. It was a neat little suburb. Two cars in every garage kind of suburb. Crime rate most likely lower than my hopes of finding somewhere to stay tonight. It was so quiet and so... Odd. I tried to peer into a window, not paying attention to the road. I heard someone shout, and that shout turned my blood to ice. There was a BUMP!, I felt something like a body underneath my car. The voice that had shouted echoed back to me. "BRIAN LOOK OUT!"
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Memes
Category:Shortpasta
The terrible tail of ferret void eyes

THis is a terrible tale of ferret of void eyes, the whiskers (ferrets) that went to space and saw our old friends the astronauts. but to tell this story i need to lay out a little background, bear with me.
there were two ferrets being rix-a-plixed, which is to make the whiskers do funny tricks like pole cat spins. you rotate the whisker while holding it gently by the chest. Here their energies disperse more fully and you can witness their void eyes easily. we recite the verses of these animals while looking into their nearly silent eyes. "two whiskers, one soul--two whiskers, one pole!" (they are called polecats sometimes so that is the whiskahz nickname). they simply accept it, and when you look in their little eyes there is a void that says to us "so you have thumbs and words, and you think that makes you better than us?" or "so you've went to the moon, and have invented countless little busywork gadgets and surround yourselves with artifice. so what?"
so we chanted this tune to them and a vision of ancient whiskers came to us. these whiskers made up the crosses of crucifixion way back when, all bundled up together bound by ropes and stuff--squirming about. what a horrible and scary thing that would be, huh? we saw then a whisker who went to space and said to an astronaut "you're not in space, so what if you were?" and then this astronaut reply "I am so in space, and it's imprtant.!!!" so then the whisk rejoins "we're at a movie studio and you and I both know it!!!"
The end.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
The thing that came down the chimney isn't Santa

It was a Christmas Eve, and I woke up to get a drink at night. When I entered the kitchen, I heard a scratching from the Fireplace, assuming it was just Birds, I went back to my room, and fell asleep. I heard a loud crash, as if pots fell on the floor, and went to investigate. I entered the kitchen, and saw a fat man in a red suit. "S-Santa?" I stammered, confused, "No. I AM SANTA KLAWZ" The man said, spinning around, revealing that he had dark green skin, large tusks protruding from his mouth, was like 7 Feet Tall, and hade a large gun mad of scrap metal tat looed lie it would explode if fired. I ran upstairs, grabbed my Nuke, and detonated it, I was killed, but so was Santa Klawz.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Holidays
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Rocks Fall, Everybody Dies
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
The thirstiest are those that don't drink water

"Damn, I'm thirsty." I thought to myself as I got home from my first day of school. I go into the fridge looking for a sweet drink. All the same stuff in there though. OJ, purple stuff, Kool-Aid, bull semen, my dads severed head, appl... MY DADS SEVERED HEAD!!!
"MOMMMMMMM," I screamed. "I need you to come see this!!"
My mom sprinted into the kitchen. "What's wrong sweetie?!?!?"
"Dad's head, it's in the refrigerator!" I yelled, short of breath from the shock. "If you let it thaw its going to start to decay!"
"Oh Jimathy, you silly goose," she said condescendingly, "I put it in the fridge to thaw so we could have it for dinner tonight."
"Oh, silly me," I said, embarrassed from overreacting. "Mother, can we have it in Hamburger Helper?"
"Well," she said thoughtfully," it would be the most help he ever provided.
We laughed and laughed, like a cheesy sitcom laugh.
"Mom, I am still thirsty." I whined like a little bitch.
"Did you drink any water today?" She asked pouring a glass from the pitcher.
"Mom, you know I am allergic to water." I said with a giggle.
"I know, Jimathy, I know. Go take a bath, it will make you feel better." She said slyly.
"Oh mom," I said with a grin, "always trying to get me to die so you can harvest my organs for that Lamborghini you always wanted.
This story was brought to you by Brita Water Pitchers. 'Don't be an asshole, drink water, you dumb dumb. But not tap water, what are you, poor and stupid?'
It was also brought to you by the Counsel of people with Aquagenic urticaria. 'OWWWW Water Hurttsssss'
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
The three little pigs

The wolf was climbing up the roof top. When he got to the chimney he jumped in with furious rage  when suddenly the wolf plopped into the hot boiling water. Quikly the 3rd pig slamed the lid onto the pot. The wolf was kicking and screaming but the pig would not give up. When he stopped kicking and Screaming the pig slowly opened the lid and the wolf jumped out of the pot his  googy sticky skin falling to the floor as he run across the room for the plump pink pig it was an on-going running around. When suddenly the wolf snached the pig and gobbled him up whole.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Blatant Ripoffs
Category:Animulz
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Shortpasta
The time I played chubby bunny with my father's ass

This happened about 6 years ago back when the chubby bunny crazy was at its peak. Now my father was a pioneer of taking things to another level. But when he came into my room with a pack of jumbo sized marshmallows and his bare anus out.
I never would expect the day would end up like it did. To my fathers credit, he used to perform as a traveling salesmen for a company that made edible Marconi art. And he would eat his own products. We found out later that the so called "edible macaroni art" was actually Styrofoam. And my father has invested over 8000 lbs. of this stuff within his 2 weeks of working there.
When he returned home, he was a changed man. The kind of man that loved things in or around his anus. Anyways, we made the video and it went on to make over 8 million views. And was made into over 3 million children's books selling world wide and put on Oprah's recommend list.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Title that makes babbies laugh
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep
Category:Shortpasta
The time I smoked 2 marijuanas

One day my friend sean invited me over his house. Sean was a know injector of marijuana he injected a marijuana everyday. me i occasionally injected a marijuana. today we where gonna get super puffed out wiggidy wack. We had just snorted our marijuanas and it was great. But sean was a frisky one he liked to applie it directly to his forehead it was crazy shiz man crazy shiz. me i did the normal puff with my ear.we saw crazy shit that day a fairy to be exact it told me to go to some tree but i said FUCK YOU. sean was gonna do 2 marijuanas i could not belieave it. he injected it up his but all of a sudden i could smell his homosexuality. He was trying to get frisky with meh. i said no then all of the sudden he turned gay and died. I ran around screaming help help sean smoked 2 marijuanas turned gay and died i blacked out. i woke up in a green outfit and cap to a weird fairy telling me to go to a tree. i now spend my days saving a princess multiple times in many diffrent pixels. for my name is. LINK.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:Zel-DUUHHH
Category:THERY
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
The time I watch Animaniacs and got spooked

__NOTOC__
==Stuff before the episode==
I was surrouned by Spongebobs, and I was alone. I needed to escape somehow, but how? Then I realised that Sponkbot couldent live without Squidward. I told them about how they couldn't live without Squidward and they died because they couldint live without Squiddywiddy. I fooled them! But how do I get out of hell. Then I realised that there was a T.V playing an episode of Animaniacs. So I watched it. 
==The episoad==
The episode started with the theme song but the last -ainy in the intro is "You will die in two day-nys," I thought that was weird so I thought about it. But the actual episode started so I watched it. But it started off with audio from the intro which I thought was weird. But i was too buissy thinking that I couldnut see Yakko killing Wakko who was killing Dot who was hoping that all this chaos is a glitch. But I stopped thinking when i heard Yack say "Die, nerd!" Did he just say nerd in a kid show? Then the screen went black. I timed it cuz I have nuthing too do in my life so i timed it. The black screen was staying on the screen for 6.66 seconds. Then when the screen came back to show Wucko withh a chainsaw hold a gun to his head kiling himself! "Oh no!" i sed. "this really is hell!" But I kept watching the episode.
==More of the episod==
After he killed himself, he died. The title screen appeared say 'Wucco's Suicide!' and I got spooked! How will they allow this into a kids show? but then, the scaryest thing that has ever happened to me happened. Yokkoo jumped out of the screen and said "You are PP head, Patrick!" But how did he know my name? Does he know me last name as well?
==Shocking plot twist==
"If your wondering, I ulso now that ur last name is Star." How did he know my name was Patrick Star? But also, how would they allow the word PP in a kids show? I was paniking, hoping that this was just an animation error, but it wasn't. Yokk was about to falcon punch me but I jumped so high I broke out of Hell and landed in a Plane bag holder. They're was a hole in the bag holder which i could look out ov. But then I saw Dot holding a shotgun. I immedently jumped out of the plane wich caused me to die. I woke up in Hell again. "Rats!" I said. But then I heared The most spookyest moan i every heard in my entire life. I looked behind me and I saw an evil Wukko doll with blode arms coming out of his eyes telling me to watch the episode. I sed "What episod?!" and he pointed at a DVD of All Hail King Julien and a T.V with a DVD plaer.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Unnecessary Sequels
Category:Cliche Madness
Category:Crappy ms paint drawings
Category:Suicide
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:English Class Failure
The time I watched Spongebob and got spooked

One day on a day in a week, I decided too wach Spongebob Squairpants and got very spooked. here's what happened. One day, I wanted to watch Spongebob one day, so I decided to watch Spongebob. I walked into a store because I wanted to find a dvd of Spongeboob cuz I wanted to wach Spongebob. I got a dvd of Spongebob so I went to the casheir but the cashear said that the very spooky Spangebob dvd was very spooky and Spongebob I said "I don't care I just wanna watch Spingebill!" and left and watch Sponjebob cuz I wanted 2 watch Spongebob. Worst mistake ever. Whem I booted up the Spongbob disk I noticed that sumthing was off. Then I cooked some popcorn so that I could eat while watching the show Spongebob. The episode title card was called 'The Spongebobobob That couldn't Sponge Anymore' and i said what the hell does that mean and then the episode of Sponkbob started and it started out with Spongebob but it wasn't Sqongeboob it was Mr. Krabs but he just looked like Spongebot.
But why did Mr. Krabs look like Spongbob I thought and that thought was so long it took up half the episode and i didn't know what happened. It showed 2 Sponkybobes and they were atacking the Krusty Krab. I was very spooked and almost peed myself so I decied to watch more of the scary Spankbob episode of Spillbill. After the attack of the Krusty Krab it turned into Sponkybooble and then I relised that Spooooooooonnnnggggeeebbbbooooooobbbbb was infucting everything and I was nexts on Spongebo's Spongebobify list.
Then I got knocked out and woke up in a pineapple under the sea.
Because I was under the sea I drowned and died before Spoppybobby could Spinkboinkify me. I am in Hell writing this and everything in Heck is Spinkydoodlebob and they are going to to Songboobleyify me help!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:SpongeBob
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Im died
Category:Overused Running Gag
Category:Shortpasta
Category:Crappy ms paint drawings
The titanic revesred

I saw the titanic rise from the sea. First, I saw the ocean get a huge titanic boner and people started to parkour onto it. one guy jumped from the bottom to the top. then it lands straight in the water. more people parkoured and human katamaris tumbled from the sea. then the other half of the ship was seen. the first and last towers were falling from the sea going up onto the two halves of the titanic. they stood there and were fixed. finally the titanic pulled itself together and was now in 1 piece.
then people started to be ejected from a KISS show because it was not around at the time. the grand ball room's supports were refixed, even though they were made of wood. then, the lights went back on, like a carnival ride turned on. then a baker flew from the sea to the titanic's butt. then a crazy bitch flew up from the bottom of the sea and then grabbed a person's hands. a 1st class room pulled itself together. dishes were repaired, and guys started sliding around like don't rock the boat baby.
everyone started humping the air. more plates were repaired. the doors of the cabins were being pulled back by sticky water. then the staircase's dome sucked up all the water and it was fixed so jeeves sighed. then the incredibule hulk threw one of the towers into it's supposed place. then the other staircase was being fixed, while adam sandler was grabbing a statue of a naked woman. then everyone did the moonwalk and people started climbing ropes like ninjas, but they were coming out of the sea.
then the captain's cabin was repaired and smith breathed because there was no more water. then a guy flipped and unshot himself before saluting. then the lower decks were getting rid of their water. then the titanic got ride of the ice.
center
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Dronik Pastas
Category:Videos
Category:Shortpasta
The true and scary story of Sid Phillips

You may know the boy named Sid from the hit Pixar movie, Toy Story. This kid tortures toys, as you may know, and is the antagonist in the film.
Well what you don't know is that Sid has a severe psycho killing side to him, and how the movie portrays him as torturing "toys", the ones who know him in real life know full well that those are not toys. He kidnaps kids who are smaller than he is and tortures them, JUST FOR FUN!
For example, when Sid has the horrifying experience of hearing the toys talk and witnessing them come to life, the truth is, Sid's delusional fantasy was starting to interfere with the real world, and he was finally hearing the words of his victims for the first time. It is unknown whether or not he still plays his little games.
==Theory #1 that Sid is evil==
He has a big head, and big heads mean big brains, and he's so smart he personally disassembles his helpless victims during his scary operations, where he plays surgeon. As Buzz Lightyear points out, "I don't think that man has ever been to medical school."
==Theory #2==
Sid has a sister named Hannah, and Hannah spelled backwards is Hannah!
==Theory #3==
Sid likes poptarts, because during one of his interrogations, where he burned a hole in someone's head with a magnifying glass, a woman, (Who could only be Sid's mom), calls out "Sid, your pop-tarts are ready!" and Sid drops everything he's doing and runs to get them.
==Sid kills Andy==
The reason why Andy went from being so young, to so old, between the events of Toy Story 2 and 3, is because the original actor was killed by Sid, who, in turn, became a garbage man to hide his identity. "Andy" was brought into Toy Story 3 as a 17-year-old, so the entire story was changed because of this. If Sid hadn't have done that to the real Andy, there would have already been a Toy Story 3, and there would be five more films out right now.
EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111
Category:Trollpasta
Category:THERY
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta
The truth about Krabby patty

In 2034, I was always a fan of spongebob, I loved the characters apart from mr krabs, that I find him suspicious, because of his greed, I was hired as a narrator, and I gave away 2 tape, then i go back home, i was going to watch spongebob, there was a new episode called "the secret ingredient" was airing, i was glad it was revealed, the map of the intro was a black background with white text, spongebob, wakes up, dresses up cartoonishly like it's a cardboard box, and says "goodbye" to Gary, Mr. Krabs looks hesitant, and wants to tell the truth, spongebob says "what's up" and Mr. Krabs whispers "in my office" at the office, Mr. Krabs says looking serious "I have to tell you the secret ingredient "SpongeBob says happily "love?", Mr. Krabs says "no, but flesh..." Spongebob gets shocked into tears, and tells the customers not to eat, and says the secret ingredient but they don't care, Mr Krabs says with great anger "everyone loves crab pie, because humans eat fish, it's time to get revenge on them, and I forbid you quit or I kill you!! "I was shocked and pained, and was going to take another tape, but there was no intro and Mr. Krabs said how the kitchen is done, it was what looked like a basement and it there was an obese man in live action style underwear with his arms and legs cuffed, he was bald, Mr. Krabs used the glass to take a man's tears and sweat, Mr. Krabs had a brand name bottle filled with bour-fries oil , he uses the scalpel to taste the flesh of the man and says "delicious", Mr Krabs was removing the flesh from the man and and doing some unhealthy and macabre butchery to make a steak, and Mr Krabs removed all the blood from the poor man man with a big sting, to refill the drink bottle, i had my heart racing, i told my boss i've given a week to think, but a week later, spongebob is deprogrammed, and i'm said "already!?" i was going into the studio and there was blood everywhere and i see a paper next to a decapitated arm i read it in fear and it says "Mr Krabs is angry"
Theory: Mr. Krabs was eating chum (which looked like human chum), and plankton and Mr. Krabs had ripped the recipe in half. Mr. Krabs hides the secret ingredient to prevent all viewers from knowing he is a monster.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:SpongeBob
Category:THERY
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Pointless Violence
The truth about Squidward's house

You think, SpongeBob is a kids show? It's not. It's the outcome of it's extreme dark message wrapped and hide by cartoon graphics and jokes.
The backstory doesn't begin with the first episode. It began in the prehistoric age ~250 million years before SpongeBob moved in his pineapple. The world was covered with exotic vegetation and animals which are long extinct. A spherical, giant, futuristic object slowly moved to the ground, extended three feetpads and finally landed. Many other objects followed and humanoid beings riding futuristic vehicles went out.
The creatures build buildings and over a year, a metropole was built. They constructed even more futuristic kinds of vehicles. One of them was a house-vehicle hybrid, similar like a caravan, which seems to resemble a human head. It can extend limbs when activated and shoot weapons. But one day, they all died somehow and their stuff got destroyed. Except one of the caravan things. Before the disaster, it's owner thought it's water proof and tried to make it swim. It sunk under the sea. 250 million years later, a kid dug it out of his sandbox and showed it to his parents. They sold repainted it and sold it to Squidward. One day, Patrick will find the on button, push it and very likely cause it to go on rampage.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:SpongeBob
Category:Rocks Fall, Everybody Dies
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:TRUE STORY
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:Shortpasta