Minus.exe

I'm sure we have all seen the film 'Sharkboy and Lavagirl'. I'm 9001% sure we can all agree that most of us think of it as the greatest film of all time! But not me! Not after what I experienced. It was a Wednesday, I was sitting in my living room and watching my favorite movie of all time, Sharkboy and Lavagirl! This was the fourth time in a row today, but I didn't care! The film was just at the part where Sharkboy was being raised by sharks when I saw the mailman put a package in the mailbox. I quickly ran up to it to see what we got. A CD! It was one of those shitty quality ones from a flea market with 'Sharkboy and Lavagirl: The Game' written in piss yellow marker. My 5 year old ass was excited! A letter was also in the mailbox. The letter read:
This was weird, the only things that Gramma Ginger ever gave me were shitty Christmas socks and the terrible Gamecube console! I quickly went back inside and put the game in! No I did not pause the movie. Anyways, here's where things started getting really really really really really really really really really really weird! The game started with a terrifying LEGO man. He said "Woops you have to put the CD in your computer" before melting and saying "DREAM JOURNAL" backwards in G Major. I shat myself, but I wanted to play what was probably the greatest game of all time.
A menu popped up! The background image was a hyper-realistic Linus with black eyes! The sound playing was him saying 'principle's office' on a loop, getting slower and slower, but the pitch getting higher and higher. The only options I saw were 'New Game', 'Tutorial', 'Lava', and 'Exit'. I clicked on 'Lava'! Big mistake! That was a very bad mistake!
An image popped up in my computer of a volcano with an angry Lavagirl! "Fuck you Richard Dixon Goldstein III"! I was scared! How did she know my name? Before I could ask myself that, the lava became hyper-realistic and burned my computer, but the game was still running! It brought me back to the menu. "Well that was strange" I said to myself. I decided to start playing the game. Very bad and big mistake that was! WARNING: The story is scary and spooky and will make you pee!
The game started with a cutscene! Max was talking to Sharkboy in his bathroom. Sharkboy swimming around in the flooded shower had hyper-realistic piss yellow eyes! He started to sing, "dream dream dream dream dream dream". Max was getting sleepy from his angelic lullaby, he fell asleep after 10 minutes of nonstop 'dream'. The screen then cuts to static and we see what Max is dreaming! He's in his classroom, but all the other classmates were Linus, but each one had different color pants. Red Linus slapped Max with a salmon that he got from Cyan Linus' pocket! Lime Linus kicked him in the calf! This was terrible! Then I saw him! The original Linus had black eyes! He pointed at Max's forehead and said "EXPELLED"! Max's head blew up! hyper-realistic piss yellow blood covered the windows, making the sunlight in the room come out with a yellow tint. The cutscene ended here.
Max has woken up and Sharkboy is gone, the water in the shower was red! I send Max into the living room where I saw milk and cookies on the kitchen counter! I approached them and pushed the 'z' key. A cutscene started showing Max reaching for the milk and taking a swig, but it was in G Major! Max's eyes became white like the milk and started pouring out the vile cow juice! This was terrifying! Music started playing in the background, it was Sharkboy again! "dream dream dream dream dream dream". This time it was high pitched and slow! A loud bang was heard and Max turned around, scared of the sudden noise! The cutscene was over, and I had an attack! Milk Missiles!
I looked out the window and saw that it was now daytime, I gotta go to school! I exited the house, but decided to not take a bus. I wanted to walk there to see the town! Sadly I didn't, a cutscene played of Max entering the school. Linus was there, but his outfit was all piss yellow. Max tried to run away, but the doors were locked! The cutscene ended and I was already in a boss battle with Linus. "This is impossible!" I thought. "Linus is too powerful!" The movie playing in the background filled me with determination though. I fired my milk missile at Linus. This started a cutscene. Linus looked at me with black eyes. He had my girlfriend in his hands! "I'll bring a revised version tomorrow!" Oh God! I was scared!
The game cut to black. Piss yellow text appeared on the screen. It was a timer, 20 hours. That was way too long of a wait! I wanted to keep playing, I was curious. But I was also tired and decided to go to bed. That night I had a strange dream! Linus came to me in his 'Minus' costume. He looked at me in the eyes. It looked like he was saying something, but no sound was coming out of his mouth. Suddenly, after what felt like 2 minutes, I heard Sharkboy. "Dream dream dream dream dream dream dream". Again, it was slowed down and high pitch. I woke up after being jumpscared by Minus. This was the scariest dream I've ever had! After waking up I went to my preschool, no I did not eat breakfast, and yes the movie was still playing on a loop on my TV. My girlfriend Annabelle wasn't there. This was strange, but halfway through class, she showed up! It wasn't her! She had her typical pink and minty green outfit, but she had Linus' face! This was what he meant by 'revised'. I was scared and ran away back home! I just had to finish the game! After coming back home I snuck in and went to my computer! There was 10 seconds left on the timer. I was just in time.
When the timer ended I was met with a jumpscare! It was George Lopez! He had 11 eyes and all of them were piss yellow! I screamed! I screamed so loud! Max was back in his house, but all the wall textures were replaced with Linus' face! The walls started talking. "EXPELLED! EXPELLED! EXPELLED! EXPELLED!"! The screen cut to static before sending me to the land of milk and cookies. This is where things got REALLY strange! Minus appeared in front of Max and pointed at his forehead. "EXPELLED!" He shouted before Max's head exploded. The hyper-realistic piss yellow blood was there again! The screen was covered in it and I was met with a 'GAME OVER' with the only option available to click being 'End'.
I cliked 'End'. The computer cut to black. My dad walked in. He was asking why the hell I was back home so early. Before I could answer, the computer showed me a gruesome image! It was so terryfing! It wasn't just one either! It filled the entire desktop with 69 of them! Linus had black eyes and was staring right at me! There was text on it. "KILL HIM". I couldn't say no. Daddy had to go! Lord Minus would get me if I didn't! I took my computer and threw it at my dad's pinky toe, killing him instantly! "Good work Richard, but in 69 years I will kill you anyway!" Linus then disappeared in a puff of piss yellow smoke! I took the CD and mailed it to my friend Tom! I just couldn't handle it anymore! Maybe he knew what to do!
Well after 13 years, I moved out of the house! I still haven't heard from my friend Tom after sending him the disk, so I decided to stop by before leaving town. No one would answer when I knocked though. I peeked inside and saw something terrible! It was Minus! The entire room was painted piss yellow! He looked at me, then looked into the corner of the room. It was Tom! "KILL HIM" Linus said to me! I ran! I ran far far away! I think I'm safe now, but as I can hear him as I type this. Maybe he won't find me though. If you made it this far, please help! My coordinates are [REDACTED]!
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:File Extensions
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Category:Hyper-realistic