EU666

I'm a lover of 4x grand strategy games, especially crusader kings 2 and stellaris. When my friends bought and started playing a new 4x game called eu4. Now, I have heard of this game, but what I didn't hear about was the hell I was about to endure!
When my friends bought eu4, I was out of the loop. Without enough money for the dlc, I would never be able to learn the game to the level they know it. But, I had an alternative. G2g is a site that sells steam keys for cheaper and I just so happened to need exactly that. When I got onto g2g, things were a bit off, the normal black, white and yellow color scheme had been changed to black and a deep crimson (blood) color! When I looked up the dlcs for eu4 I saw one listing that was really interesting. The listing was called all eu4 dlc: for a price... I was confused by this, as the listing cost no money for all the dlc. I was hesitant, but bought the listing and waited for my keys. When I got them, I noticed the keys had full words in them, (like DIE or SATAN666), which I thought was weird but decided to redeem them anyway. God, I wish I hadn't.
 
When I went to redeem the first key, steam gave me a pop up, "Do you really want to sell your soul?!?!?!" I was confused, but really didn't see how steam had anything to do with my soul. After downloading the dlc, a couple things about my copy of eu4 in my steam library changed. The background banner of the game changed to weird fleshy gears, my playtime was listed as 666 hours, despite having never launched the game, and EU4 was titled EU666! When I tried to create my civ, it wouldn't allow me to! I could only select from 2 premade empire's, "The Followers of Satan" and "The Fallen Angels." I was in shock!!!! There were no empires in the ancient world named that?!?!?!?! But I decided to press on, after all, my friends wanted me to play the game with them... I got on the main map and things were different. The main game map was no longer a map of western eurasia/northern africa, it was a map of the 7 circles of hell. Now I knew something was wrong, but I figured it was part of the dlc I had just acquired and moved on. The map had a striking resemblance to illustrations in Dante's inferno and I thought, "cool, it must be a Dante dlc or something." My empire was slightly outside the 6th circle, there was only 1 other empire on the map called Satan's Warriors. When I saw that I let out a slight gasp. I decided to click on Satan's Warriors to see diplomacy options, there was sacrifice an infant, give up your souls, and the third option was glitchy and eligible. It was flashing various dark red ancient looking characters. I picked "sacrifice an infant" and continued. It's at this point when the demon leader said "Sacrifices must not stop there, we need more." At this point I turned the game off.
 
After having a nap and some lunch, I debated playing the game. When I went back to my pc, I had no shortcut or taskbar options that wasnt eu4. I couldnt access my files or other apps and I figured it was the game's fault. After going into programs and uninstalling tens of instances of eu4. My desktop went back to normal. "Damn G2g and these corrupted dlc files," I said. After playing a long session of CK2, I was about to restart my pc for windows updates, when suddenly, EU4 launched. It wasn't the title or main menu of the game though. It opened up to a continuation of my save. The map kept getting more distorted and it kept getting a deeper and deeper red shading. I got a popup, "A new empire has gone to hell!" And another empire appeared in ring 4. This wasn't normally how the game worked at all so I was beginning to question who made this and why... when suddenly I noticed... It was my friend Jack's custom empire. I was flabbergasted. How did Jack's empire get on my PC? I clicked, and it brought up the diplomacy screen. A picture of Jack's poor, mutilated face popped up for a quarter of a second and I almost jumped from my chair. There was only 1 option, Casus Belli, Punishment. I was like, huh?!?!? That wasn't a reason to go to war in the game? With no other choice, I picked Casus Belli, Punishment. As I warred with Jack's empire, I realized that in a real game he would have kicked my ass, and yet! I was beating him! I tried to stop my empire before they completely wiped Jack's out but there was no hope, his empire would not concede. 
After Jack's empire was wiped out, a popup window came up with 3 options. It said, "Jack has been killed and dragged to hell. Did you enjoy punishing him? 
"1)Yes
2)No
3)Eternal Torment"
 
I threw my phone directly into the computer monitor, shattering the screen and sending glass shards backwards into my hands and face. I ran out of the room, and grabbed a spray paint can and a lighter. I proceeded to burn my house down... When the police got to my house, it's almost like they knew this was connected with Jack's death. I was arrested and tried with his murder but eventually got off because I had a pretty solid alibi from my computer's time logs. Speaking of which, the only thing to survive from that fire was my damn PC... And I don't know how! I started with burning the pc so if anything it should be the most damaged by the fire. After getting my pc and my belongings from lock up, I had to move back in with my parents. My parents were convinced I was crazy, and they would not let me get into the computer. Jack, my best friend, was dead now, and my family thought it was me! Now in my parent's office there is a desktop pc with an old monitor. So when they left to go to dinner one night. I decided to get to the bottom of the mystery with the game. I plugged my desktop into my parent's monitor and could see the game left off exactly where I was before. I selected, "No." My desktop started whirring loudly. The game was moving and distorting more and more by the second. I got another popup that said, "Satan's Warriors has gone to war with you." I started building defenses and microing my army when I noticed I was already surrounded by high level militaries. They closed in and as they were destroying my empire I heard a voice come from behind me that said, "You really shouldn't have done that." Before my empire was destroyed my pc suddenly shut off. I took the whole desktop outside and smashed it against a big rock in my backyard. The desktops gpu and ssd shattered into pieces and I repeatedly smashed them.
I still don't know what that game was. I still have nightmares about the game, and in the daytime, I hear scratching on my locked door at night, I see shadowy figures in my parents house, and I hear dark voices which tell me, "You didn't escape." Recently some of my other friends have been turning up dead too from the same thing that killed Jack from what investigators told me. I can't help but feeling that this is the game toying with me, seeing how long it can make my suffering last...
This is the last note on the journal before the victim was murdered. Our department has redacted last names and identifying characteristics of people mentioned in the journal. The lead investigator recently went missing before saying he had found a lead on a site called G2G.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:Jornel
Category:Vidya games
Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ