nyuuzyou/wikis huggingface dataset:
Satan's Xbox (Satan's Toothbrush 2)

I was playing on my Xbox one day. But then it got the horrific Red Ring of Death! But then just before the Xbox turned off a demonic face flickered on screen and the whole ring transformed into a pentagram. Terrified I went straight to bed.
Whilst sleeping I had horrible dreams involving ominous shapes, twisted abominations and impossible geometry.
I got up at about 6 AM and went downstairs The Xbox was on and instead of the normal fan sound it was emitting a faint voice which whispered "Pentagrams are the best shape because they are the beeest, always draw your pentagrams with blood because it's the best"
Then I noticed my TV screen, instead of displaying the normal home screen it had Halo 4 playing. But something wasn't quite right, all of the characters had black eyes and pentagrams on their chests and everything was super duper dark. I got really scared and screamed "HALO 4, NO MORE!" and ejected the disk. But oh my god! There was no disk!! It was just a red doughnut with inverted crosses etched onto it I screamed and blood came flying out of the Xbox!
My Xbox flooded the room with blood and then exploded killing my whole family and ripping my house to pieces Using my crazy reflexes I had survived by doing a triple backflip onto my window followed by a safety roll under my table
I got really bored and decided to get my old PS3 out which was gathering dust Then I noticed that the dust on it had formed the shape of an inverted pentagram I booted it up and written in blood the words "You can never escape me" showed up on screen before loading up a dark and gloomy menu
I loaded up my favorite game Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) and began playing Screaming came from my PS3 and I looked in horror as Sonic was ripped apart by a toothbrush with satanic etchings
My TV screen smashed and the toothbrush went for my face, brushing my eyebrows off. Reflexively I slit my wrists with my PS3 controller by accident and blood poured out forming a pentagram on the floor. The PS3 exploded and sent out a shockwave which made every single PS3 and Xbox on the planet explode shredding the planet to pieces I survived by doing a quadruple wall dash followed by a backflip through my window and into my basement
In my basement I noticed that my old Wii console was on I got bored again and decided to play on it. I opened the disk drive and inside of it was Satan. He used the same toothbrush to stab me and pull me into the Wii Being inside the Wii was almost a surreal experience but Satan appeared in front of me and made it very real and then I died and my body became a new Xbox minion slave ready to claim its next victim.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:Im died
Category:Vidya games
Category:Unnecessary Sequels
Category:Stuff Blowing Up
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Satan's cursed mansion

A university student was found dead in a mansion: 13666 Sporfield bolevard, West Uninporton. The student was identified, but the family members of the student refused to allow media to publish his name. This is CSNT news at 6, Uninporton.
==The beginning==
l know you are not going to believe this. I used to be a skeptic, until this happened. This actually happened to me! You have to believe this.
So, I got accepted by the University of Uninporton. I flew by plane to the city of Uninporton.
The city's skyscrapers poked out of the clouds as the plane descended. The view was beautiful. I woke from my nap as the plane landed on the runway of the airport.
The room the University gave me was horrible! It was right by the ice machine, my roommates were annoying to the extreme, and the windows didn't open. I decided to rent a room somewhere else instead. When I was browsing the avilable places on the internet, I saw "13666 Sporfield bolevard" was avilable for free. I went there. That was a bad idea.
The house was huge! It was a mansion! But the guy renting it won't answer me anything. He just said "Take the key, take the key" repeatedly. When I took the key, he walked out and dissappeared into a green vortex.
==Noooo!==
The house was haunted. I woe up in an experiment lab, but that was a dream. The walls of the house bleeded everywhere, andskeletons popped out of toilets. The lights flickered, and everytrhing shook! The words"No escape" appeared on walls. Everywhere I see is "No escapeNo escapeNo escapeNo escapeNo escapeNo escapeNo escapeNo escape" I ran out of the house, but it dragged me back in with a green vortex thingy.  Then Satan came out and killed me. Then I died.
P.S. YOU'RE NEXT!
P.P.S. DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU! I
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Satire
Category:YOU'RE NEXT
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Satan Calls Apple Tech Support

Steven Sausage: Oh no me ITUNES is broken, let's call in old Steve Mac!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Steve Mac: ITUNES MAC ON THE IMAC????????????????????????
Steven Sausage: ME ITUNES ON THE SURFACE PAD IS BROKE WHAT DO STEVE?
Steve Mac: CALL THE OLD I TECH SUPPORT LADS
ITUNES: What is your problem dear sir?
Steve Mac: Me itunes mac is broken
ITUNES: Oh dear that sounds like a technical problem, please stand by whilst I try to get the special department on the case
666 minutes later
ITUNES:...
Steve Mac: THE ITUNES I SUPPORT ISN'T REPLYING TO ME WINDOWS PAD MAC, WHAT DO?
Steve Sausage: I've got a great idea, since our mac request is being ignored let's sacrifice a bunch of school children make a pentagram out of their blood and summon Satan to call the I Tech Support, I'm sure they won't leave him waiting and we save money because it's a premium rate number.
Steve Mac: SURE OLD LAD LET ME JUST UPDATE ME ITUNESOS FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another 666 minutes later
Satanism intensifies
Bad ideas intensify
Satin: RIGHT ME OLD LADDIES WHAT BE YOUR PROBLEM?
Steve Mac: ARE YOU FROM I ?
Steven Sausage: NO HE'S SATAN AND HE'S HERE TO FIX THE OLD IOS MAC PROBLEM
Satin: OK I'M PRETTY CONFUSED WHAT DO?
Steve Mac: FIX ME FRIENDS ITUNES MAC ON THE WINDOWS PHONE PLEASE
Satin: ok...BUT WHAT DO?
Steven Sausage: Allow me to explain, we've tried to call the Imac tech support about our issue but they keep referring us to the "special department" and leaving us on hold together. We were hoping you could use your super duper spooky powers to summon skeltins and stuff to scare them into sending in the I Emergency Response Team to our home.
Satin: k
ITUNES: What is your problem old geeze?
Satin: RIGHT LOOKIE HERE LADS I'M SATIN AND I'M SPOOKY WOOKY NOW SEND THE I EMERGENCY RESPONSE TEAM TO STEVE MAC'S HOUSE SO HE CAN FIX IS WINDOWS LINUX THINGY OR THINGS ARE GONNA GET SUPER FUCKING SPOOPY YOU HEAR?
ITUNES: Erm allow me to refer you to the special department, please wait.
SATIN: OH NO YOU DON'T OLD GEEZE /SPAWN ENTITY SKELTIN *spooks intensify.
ITUNES: OH GOD ITS WEARING GOLD ARMOUR WHAT THE DICKENS THAT'S SUPER RARE OMG I SO SPOOKED SO SORRY SATIN DIDN'T REALISE IT WAS YOU I CRI NAOW.
666 seconds later the I emergency response team was call and arrive at the Steve(n) Family House. After turning the windows mac ios linux hackintosh device on and off again the problem is fixed and the Steve(n)s are billed 666 thousand dollars and promptly commit ritual suicide and have their souls eaten by Satin who is now thoroughly done with life.
Category:Trollpasta
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Skeletons
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:English Class Failure
Satan Theory

Okay.
So, like.
I was on this REALLY good shit son.
And I like,
had a revelation.
If satan like,
takes all the bad guys to hell,
and hes helping god by taking them,
Even though they're like, supposed to be enemies of some shit,
I have an idea.
What if satan is, like,
...
God's garbageman?
Category:Trollpasta
Category:THERY
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:Shortpasta
Satan and SuperPlankOfDeath's chat pasta: Halloween

**SuperplankofdeathI FUKIN H8 DEM STORMY NIGHTS ON HALOWEEN DER 2 SPOOKY 4 ME
**12:26サタンI FUKIN H8 DEM 2 BUT HORRY SHET DAFUQS DAT OUT DA WINDO
**12:27SuperplankofdeathAWW NAAWWW LAAD BE CERFUL FOR FUK SAKE WITH DEM THANGZ OUTSIDE DE WINDOW
**12:27サタンFUKIN KKK GTE UFF MAH LAWN U FUKIN DOOSHBAGS
**12:28SuperplankofdeathOH SHEEET MAN WAT DE FUK IS IT!??!?!??!?!
**IMSKARED
**12:29サタンITS DA FUKIN KKK BURNIN ZE KRUSSAFUCKSES FUK DIS SHEET IMA GETIN MAH GUN N GOIN OUT DER
**12:29SuperplankofdeathOH FUK MAN GET RID OF DEM DIRTY BISTERDS
**12:30サタンK I FUKIN WIL!
**12:30SuperplankofdeathGUD MAN YURSELF
**12:30サタン 
** サタン goz outzide 2 fuk sheet up
**12:30SuperplankofdeathYEH MAEK SHITE OF DEM CUNTS
**12:30サタンHAI FUKIN KKK IMA KIL UR ASSES! (firz gunz* 4 RUSHAAAHHH
**12:31SuperplankofdeathYAAAAY
**DIRTY PRICKS
**12:31サタンWAIT FUK
**DIS LIL FUKTARD KID JUST SHET ON ME
**12:31SuperplankofdeathOHHH FUUK WAIT IMA CUM OVER TOO UIR HOUSE TOO HELP KILL DET BISTERD
**12:31サタンFUK NAO I LUK BLAK N DA KKK R SHUTIN ME
**FUK I RAN OUTUH AMMU
**12:32Superplankofdeath 
* Superplankofdeath goes over too satans house
**DENT WORRY SETAN
**12:32サタンFUK DEY ALREDY HAD ME TIED ON UH CROS
**GET DAT FUKIN TORCH AWAI FRUM ME U FUKIN KKK
**12:33SuperplankofdeathPATRIXXX SAVE UUUUSS
**FUUK THEY GOT ME TOO
**12:34サタンW8 I KAN PISS
**
* サタン pisses on the flames
**12:34SuperplankofdeathYESSSH SATAN PISSSS
**12:34サタンI KULD UZ MY BONNER TU BRAK DA ROP
**BUT DEY SNAPD MY KOK IN HALF
**12:34SuperplankofdeathAAH FUK
**12:35サタンW8 WAT DAT
**OMFG IZ VIAGRUH
**12:35SuperplankofdeathWAT DE FUKS DAT?!?!?!?!?
**12:35サタンI KAN GET DIK NAO
**
* サタン eats viagra
**
* サタン gets a huge boner which destroys the ropes
**FUK YUS
**12:36SuperplankofdeathOH YESH BIATCHES
**12:36サタン 
* サタン unties plank
**12:36SuperplankofdeathNOW DEM KKK BISTERDS ARE FUCKED
**12:36サタンTAK DIS U FUKIN KKK *jizzes at 9001 miles per hour*
**
*KKK explode*
**12:36SuperplankofdeathYOUR JIZZ LEVEL IS OVER 900000ANDS
**12:37サタン9000AIDSSS
**W8 TEH FUK IZ DAT
**12:37SuperplankofdeathWAT DEH FUK
**12:37サタンIZ.. IZ...
**12:37SuperplankofdeathWAT IS IT
**12:37サタンOMFG MAH DIK IS CUMIN ALIV
**FUK OW IT BROK OF NAO IT HAZ LEGZ N FUKIN ARMZ
**IT JIANT N GUNA REK SHIT UP FUK FUK FUK FUK 
**12:39SuperplankofdeathAHAH FUK
**12:40サタンmy cock: IMA FUK EVRYTING AH FUKIN WAN
**12:40SuperplankofdeathOHH SHEEET
**12:40サタンFUK GET DA STDS
**12:41Superplankofdeath 
* Superplankofdeath gets de STDS
**TAKE THIS YOU DIRTY DICK
**12:41サタン 
* サタン throws STDS at the dick
**12:42SuperplankofdeathYIIIIISISISIS
**12:42サタンmy dick: AHH U KURSED FUKS LUK WAT U DUN IM DYSFUKSHIONING IM DYSFUCKSHIONING O WAT A WURLD WAT A WURLD WHODA THOT A GUD LIL FUKER LIEK U KULD DESTROY MAH BOOTIFUL BALZ OH IM GUIN UHHH AHH NUU AHHHHHAHHHhhhhhh
**12:43SuperplankofdeathFAKU DICK
**12:43サタン 
*skeleton pops out* HORY F-
**
* サタン dies
**12:44SuperplankofdeathOHNO FUUC-
**
* Superplankofdeath gets died
Category:Trollpasta
Category:Collab
Category:English Class Failure
Category:Im died
Category:And then a skeleton popped out
Satan on the Muppet Show

When I was a child, one of my favorite television programs was The Muppet Show. Every night, before I went to bed, I would tune into the show. I would always get so excited when my favorite character, Kermit, appeared.
Right after dinner one night, I tuned in to see the green frog that always brought a smile to my face. The show started out normal, with Kermit introducing a special guest star. However, things turned a little strange when Kermit introduced the special guest 'Satan', and instead of the normal, happy singing, there was no sound at all. Instead, the camera faded into a black and white doorway. As the camera inched closer and closer, I began to hear small bits of white noise.
It then cut to a scene of Kermit, in front of the standard red theater curtains. There were several things out of place, however, Kermit's head seemed warped and longer than usual. The colors he was composed of were now different, and darker. The bricks were also covered with a very bright substance, which seemed to be carelessly spattered about the wall. Kermit did not say anything. Instead, he just stared blankly at the camera, barely moving. I'm not quite sure how long the scene lasted, but to me it seemed to go on forever.
Finally, the scene transitioned to a very dimly lit room that seemed to be someone's attic. The film was in black and white again, and the only source of light came from behind some boxes in the back. The room was very dirty, and had random objects scattered across the floor. There was a dirty, old projector toppled over in the middle of the room as well. I stared at it for a bit, until something suddenly moved behind it.
What I saw will haunt me for the rest of my life. An overstretched, limbless, and filthy Kermit puppet was being slowly dragged across the floor by an unseen string. It looked lifeless, until the head began to crane towards the camera, even though no one was puppeteering it. It took ages for the poor frog's gaze to finally reach me, but as soon as it did, the program cut to static. I just sat in silence, frozen by fright, and staring at the TV. To this day, I still don't have a clue what happened that night. The Muppet Show will always be one of my favorite television shows, but it'll never be quite the same because of that fateful night.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG
Category:Demins and Debbils
Category:Old Shit
Saturday

I was an intern at General Mills, Inc. and I was working as a janitor. One time, my impolite boss asked me to clean the basement. I was about to make a comment because first of all it smells like rabbit feces (which is ironic because Trix looks like rabbit poop) and there's a bunch of insects in there. This isn't the first time he asked me to do this. Last time I cleaned the basement, there were a bunch of crickets. I'm pretty sure the varmints made a nest in there.
I went down to the basement and swept the floor. Then, I encountered a VHS tape named "I haet Saturday". I picked it up and headed out of the basement. I was heading to the viewing room. At first, I made sure nobody was looking. Shortly after, I opened the door that lead to the room. I inserted the tape and watched.
It showed a man with a suitcase and asked the General Mills mascot if they could make it Saturday. The Trix Rabbit said "HELL NO!" and fucked him up the... well, you know. It went to black and a man screaming was heard.
The rabbit was done violating him. Rabbit feces and blood were all over the kitchen. The Trix Rabbit made a grim laugh as his eyes shrunk and grew sharp teeth.
It cut to black again, and it showed all the General Mills mascot, in a bathtub, dead. Words were written in blood: "SATAN INCARNATES" and "MASCOTS LIKE US DON'T NEED THIS". It went to static and it ended. Damn, does General Mills have to be that dark?
Suddenly, a security guard caught me red handed.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GOT-DAMNED TAPE?!" he hollered in a western accent.
"I... found it-" I said, trying to confess.
"I don't give two shits."
My boss came in.
"What about the tape?"
"He was viewing it without authorized permission!"
The room grew silent.
"Sorry, Vincent, but I'm gonna have to release you."
"You mean... I get to go home early?"
"No, you dumbshit. I mean that you're fired. Get out of my sight."
The room grew silent... again. I went down to the basement to grab something.
"Where did that idiot wander off to?"
I ran back to the viewing room and beat him up. I hollered profanity as I did.
Later, the party van arrived. Three days later, I was released from the slammer and there were news reports about that lost commercial.
Please, don't get involved in the same incident like I did.
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Pointless Violence
Category:DIALOGUE!
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:I WAS AN INTERN AT
Saturday Morning

One Saturday morning, I woke up. Sun was shining through the windows, birds were singing. I went downstairs to grab some breakfast. When I got down there, no-one was up. They were all sleeping upstairs. I grabbed a pop-tart from my pantry, sat down and ate it. I turned on the TV to watch some cartoons.
Then I heard my mom call for me. "Hey Chris, come here for just a minute." I was thinking to myself, "Damn-it! I just sat down." I walked over to the stairs and started to go upstairs. When I got about half way up, my mom, dad, and brother walked in the door from the grocery store.
Category:Deletion Log Refugees
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Old Shit
Category:Shortpasta
Saturday Night Live Lost Episode

I am big on Saturday Night Live. Yeah, yeah, ABC had dibs on that show before NBC had it, but everybody, including me, preferred the NBC one. Now, there is a missing episode of Saturday Night Live, that NBC Universal refused to talk about, since they never released it on DVD. I first saw it on late-April of 1997 on TV back when I visited my family, and it's basically very disturbing and made me regret the day that I saw any Saturday Night Live stuff. I will tell you that it only has one skit, if you don't count the cold opening, and it lasts for 10 minutes, before we cut to 50 minutes of news.
The opening skit featured Will Ferrell, actually looking sad. There was actual laughter, which I, the viewer, could not tell if they were laughing at it's dark nature, or if they're laughing at him, but he seemed literally depressed and serious, like he was about to break down crying. It appeared for basically 2 minutes, before the announcer said the usual, which was, "Live from New York! It's Saturday Night Live on NBC!" It did sound aggressive and shaky this time around.
The first skit, and actually, the only skit of the episode had Will Ferrell from before and he pretty much mutters on what he was gonna say, then Chris Farley ran in and screamed in terror, saying that he couldn't catch his breathe. Will Ferrell stared at him for 30 seconds until he formed a sentence, and he whispered to Farley's ear, "Disaster is gonna strike." Chris Farley screamed in agony again, and it wasn't even acting, he is doing the screaming for real! yet the audience is laughing, and the laughing got louder and louder! We then see images of Chris Farley dying of a heart attack, which he didn't die till the year after that episode was aired. What we see is that he died from eating a lot of Taco Bell.
We then see John Candy, who died in 1994 and John Belushi, who died in the early '80s, and in this episode, they were alive! And we also see the creator of the series, Loren Michaels, who is laughing in pity along with the audience. Like I said, this episode aired in 1997.
After that, there was no end credits, nothing, we have dead air for a few seconds, before cutting to four news reports, all were news after 1997. One being the 9/11 attacks, the other being Hurricane Katrina, the third being the swine flu outbreak, and the last one being the Boston Marathon bombings.
I could never watch Saturday Night Live the same way ever. I mean, what was that?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!! I was so shocked that this happened. I told the family during breakfast time the next day, nobody believed me. They think I'm insane, but this happened. Please! DON'T TAKE ME AWAY, POLICE!
Category:Bad Creepypasta
Category:Lost Episodes
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Saul bobble head

Hello everyone a couple of mouths ago I bought a Saul bobble head from breaking bad . 
The night I brought it I noticed my condoms where moved and my Jessie doll was covered in jizz and my Saul bobble head was nodding rapidly.
The next mourning after that I looked at my history and saw toy story xxxxxxxxxx.
One day I was watching fifty shades of grey and he started nodding rapidly again so I turned the computer away from him 
A week later I found him staring at me in my bed and I said " what kind of toy story have you been watching "
I have hidden all my toys in case he fucks them. I also locked my computer but then one night I found Saul and a doll in my sock while you got a friend in me was playing. 
My mom seems to like my bobble head very much so she won't yet me get rid of it. my girlfriend won't yet me either and my dog is afraid of him 
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Category:That just raises more questions!
Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck
Category:Shortpasta
Saving The Kingdom

It hurts.
It hurts so bad.
As I lay in my own puddle of dark, crimson blood, basically torn to shreds, I can feel the life practically seeping from my body.
I know how it came to this, it's just that I wish I would've done something to change the inevitable. This outcome... it could've been so different. But no, I didn't think much of it at the time. I was so dim, in retrospect, so blind. I see very clearly now, but all that fills my vision is the disgustingly dull red of the inside of my eyelids. Even when I open my eyes, I see the same thing.
And I can only manage to oust silent words from my lips as I see the tall, gawking figure strut over towards me.
"... Why?" I breathe, not trusting my voice to produce any more sounds after that part was spoken.
"Because while high, you jumped in front of car thinking it was a dragon and yelled, "I'll save my kingdom!", you dumbass."
Category:Trollpasta
Category:WHAT A TWIST!
Category:Well, that was pointless.
Category:SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY
Category:Im died
Category:Stupid is as the main character does
Category:Shortpasta