And I can't emphasize enough how important it is to keep a record of all his 'bad parenting' doings right now. Keep a diary of it. Keep any and all papers and/or hard evidence....emails, voicemails, letters, etc. The courts will not be interested in a dispute between husband and wife. They will make decisions (and rightly so) based on what is best for the kids. Not the adults. Proving that you are clearly the better, more stable parent and that he is unstable, and infrequent even his visits will be the best thing you can do."Stop reading his texts, but get a program to save a record of them to your computer. If he wants to talk to you about the kids, he can call. Keep the conversations short. If he tries to talk to you about anything other than the kids, berates you, belittles you, yells at you, calls you names, etc., hang up on him. Take notes on the phone call, the date, what was said, and why you hung up. Be meticulous about this. Don't initiate contact with the exception of this: ask him what time once a week would be good for the boys to call and talk to him and schedule that time. Call then and only then. Have him on speaker phone so you can hear what is said. If he doesn't answer, document it. Document the lack of support. Everything. Make copies of it. Treat that documentation like a will or a passport. Make sure someone else you trust has an updated copy of it. Meticulous notes demonstrating his abusiveness and lack of involvement can make all the difference in court. "I would also add to **** fantastic advice to do the same thing for visits. Document when he arranged the date/time with you, and when he canceled it or dropped them off early. What their state was afterwards. Don't let him change their/your schedule around to accommodate him. Do what you can keep them on a schedule and stable.