His practice has no room for new patients! Now, he's a medical wizard!I love this DoctorQ: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.Is this true?A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise.. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving  faster. Want live longer? Take nap.> 	Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?> 	A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hayand > corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than> efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? > Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy > vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of > vegetable products.> > 	?> 	Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?> 	A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine.> That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of > goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up!> > 	?> 	Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?> 	A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you> have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.> > 	?> 	Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular> exercise program?> 	A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...Good!> > 	?> 	Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?> 	A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How> getting more vegetables be bad for you?> > 	?> 	Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft aroundthe > middle?> 	A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You> should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.> > 	?> 	Q: Is chocolate bad for me?> 	A: You crazy? HELLO .... Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best> feel-good food around!> > 	?> 	Q: Is swimming good for your figure?> 	A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.> > 	?> 	Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?> 	A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!> > 	?> 	Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had> about food and diets.> > 	?> 	AND.....> > 	?> 	For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on> nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those > conflicting nutritional studies:> > 	?> 	1. The Japanese eat very little fat> 	And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.> > 	?> 	2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat> 	And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.> > 	?> 	3. The Chinese drink very little red wine> 	And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.> > 	?> 	4 The Italians drink a lot of red wine> 	And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.> > 	?> 	5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages andfats> 	And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.> > 	?> 	CONCLUSION.....> > 	?> 	Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what> kills you.